#meaning dont feel bad - there are posts older than this ask that i have held onto

[certified-anakinfucker]

📖 RN NOW PLS

you have no idea how far back i had to go in my OLD ask tag to find this fucking link. i love you kebbie i really do and i hope this genuinely proves it - so send me a book for a daydreamed story of mine! trust me i have many!

this ask has deadass been in my box for two years now um. holy fuck. its gonna be super long bc this is actually my excuse to force myself to figure out how this fucking story actually goes. youre my sacrificial lamb, babe <3

under the cut for toxic/abusive relationship themes | mostly stemming from not putting an end to toxic cycles and briefly refusing to believe it was an issue

so i had this old ass wip, right. it was called parisian lovers despite no one in the entire story being french whatsoever and it was basically a love story for a sexual relationship with danger turning into a genuine view into what happens when you dont. like check yourself before running headlong into what you think you want

ive since started readapting it to (surprise) swtor and an excuse to explore sith pureblood (henceforth referred to as "tsis") cultures surrounding whats considered normal in their dating/relationships, and also how it challenges familial relationships

the details of it are super fuzzy mostly bc all the meat of it was lost to twitter dms that i refuse to open. so heres a quick fast easy rundown

basically, youve got tsiksos. he is the third born and third son of an extremely powerful and wealthy union of bloodlines, and since hes really not the most important one, he decides he wants to study a niche theory of dark arts. something about how channeling power needed to cast sorcery can be amplified through vocals and choreography. basically he went to a contemporary dance school for the shadow wizard money gang

tsiksos meets ûtainoz, who is practically a beast in this school. he sees the valedictorian spot and hes steamrolling anyone he needs to. hes ruthless, hes heartless, hes a smooth-talker, he will do anything to get his way, and tsiksos found that hot and sexy and definitely worth falling in love with

predictably, this goes terribly. tsiksos doesnt know what the hell he walked into, only that he may as well enjoy it because hes sleeping with the hottest, most talented guy at this school. ûtainoz got a little too comfortable, though, and by the end of their tenure there lost his valedictorian spot to tsiksos,,, who was also gunning for it right under his nose

but whatever, its fine, they go their separate ways with the taste of one anothers venom permanently burned in each others mouths. they both fill their own niches. ûtainoz goes into more of a performative, traveling role and relies on his aesthetic rather than his power - whereas tsiksos followed through with his intent and deepened his connection to the dark arts through what he learned. he became something of a siren, honestly

anyway anyway anyway. tsiksos moves off of his homeworld. he decides he wants to actively burn fires through everywhere ûtainoz has been. and hes extremely successful. he wants to win, he needs to win, he will win. he meets utajhaiw while in the new city, and while poor utajhaiw falls in love - tsiksos sees someone he can keep close with him if he just uses all the right words.

which works! theyre together, its great, theyre fucking almost daily. but they argue every hour. to the point where it gets violent more often than not with tsiksos on the offensive. the arguments are largely fabricated or instigated out of boredom. but isnt it worth it for the sloppy nasty disgusting hateful makeup sex?

yeah well. the neighbors of their apartment dont think so. theyve nearly called the cops every time, until neighbor laishtzi comes over to investigate what just hit the wall. he gets pulled, literally, into the middle of their fuck. his partner rîshja follows and, likewise, gets pulled into the middle of their fuck. its like some sort of apology thing for them too and it becomes regular.

enter: their friend nunjor, a lawyer (i think. something like that) who also ! gets pulled into the sex life. whats worse is that both tsiksos and utajhaiw both fell in love with nunjor and wanted to have him as a permanent third.

sometime after this, the whole hatefucking thing gets a little too hateful. tsiksos actually genuinely nearly kills utajhaiw, and hes starting to hide the knives in earnest. nunjor suggests that they attend actual couples' things instead of just their joint performances where utajhaiw plays and tsiksos conjures something.

they try it. they enjoy it. their relationship actually improves. they make a vase together in a ceramics class.

by the way, utajhaiw has asthma. tsiksos has been stressing him out so bad hes started smoking. on purpose. yes it is what you think it is and tsiksos thinks its hot because he wants to shotgun the smoke from his mouth

anyway, something happens and tsiksos starts backsliding. they have another argument and he breaks their ceramic vase. all that dust from the glaze and the clay triggers a pretty bad asthma attack, bad enough that the neighbors come over (it had been so long without an incident) and call the paramedics to come get him. utajhaiw actually snaps at tsiksos in the middle of literally coughing himself to death, and this is uh. a little traumatizing. because its never been this bad before.

utajhaiw makes it to the hospital fine, refuses to see tsiksos, and nunjor is on utajhaiw's side - that was fucking uncalled for, dude. tsiksos goes back to their apartment, alone for the first time since they bought it together. naturally he should not be alone at this time

laishtzi phones a friend, kaqur (psychiatrist-adjacent) and his partner jashru (probably a psychologist, if not professional "wtf is wrong with you, stop that"). they agree to take tsiksos in while utajhaiw is back home with his family.

its about a year i think? that tsiksos stays with them, basically on s-watch, and it turns out he has a really severe derealization + depersonalization whammy going on, spurned from still dressing the way ûtainoz liked him to dress and the way other people wanted to see his body. he punched through a mirror. so once he started dressing in looser, more comfortable clothing - surprise! he felt better!!!

(meanwhile, utajhaiw spent a year at home strengthening his lungs again, writing songs and poetry, and reconsidering his entire life. spoiler alert: he actually was in love with tsiksos)

but things are never easy. at some point, tsiksos has a bit of a meltdown and breaks out of his little prison, steals the spare key to his apartment, and ends up burrowing in the bed wearing utajhaiws clothes and sleeping on his side of the bed because he feels so fucking bad about what he did to him. but uhhhhhhh.

apparently nunjor also decided to pay a visit that night. and tsiksos, in some nightmare-sleep-haze, reacts to nunjor trying to wake him as if he were ûtainoz - meaning he tried to apologize through offering his body. rubbing his hands on his thighs, face in his crotch (since nunjor was standing at the side of the bed). when nunjor gently corrected him and woke him (not that he would have been upset at the idea of fucking him again, buth he didnt seem to be in the right headspace) it actually uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sent tsiksos into a worse panic. scrambling out of the bed. tripping on something. breaking a glass.

oh, hello ptsd - it sure is nice crab-scrambling backwards on your hands and bare feet over glass while hyperventilating and sobbing so hard you genuinely cant see. again, laishti and rîshja to the rescue getting him back to kaqur and jashru.

so heres where the fun happens. ûtainoz comes back. hes genuinely changed for the better, he is apologetic. he wants to make it up to the person he hurt the worst. does tsiksos take him up on that? yes. should he have? yes, actually, because he needed the closure.

they start rekindling what little flame they had together. days turn into weeks, months, and theyre getting along just fine. apparently nunjor had left, and tsiksos had no comm - by the time tsiksos noticed, it was uh. almost a little too late.

theres a time where tsiksos and ûtainoz are in a speeder together and ohhhh nunjor is a poet, its in his full name, but he also composes. he sings. and he sings about how badly someone has just lifted him higher than ever before dropping him down into nothing. tsiksos has a breakdown on the lawn of some random recreational park.

things will get better again, though! somewhere along the way, tsiksos and ûtainoz make peace with who they are and who they were. nunjor comes back and he and tsiksos talk it out. they forgive each other. and then tsiksos and utajhaiw reunite. they explain a lot. they forgive each other.

tsiksos/utajhaiw/nunjor throuple endgame is the only thing that matters to me actually.

thanks for coming to my ted talk i love you so much

#cheeri inquires #kebbie when i put this shit in draft #i had to actually scroll down through a sea of other lost posts #just to find it #meaning dont feel bad - there are posts older than this ask that i have held onto #cheeri is literate #i need a swtor tag #technically this counts as swtor since tsiksos is vowrawns brother

[greatestwizardofthisage]

assigning each of the bad kids a taylor swift era because i am feeling deprived of tswift content now that she's on break from the eras tour

Kristen: Fearless. I can't even explain why, but to me that album is just so sunny and in my mind it fits Kristen perfectly. I think maybe it's because Fearless was one of the first album I ever really loved, then when I was older the rerecording is what got me back into tswift and I can totally see Kristen going through a similar journey with it where maybe she loves it as a kid but then stops listening to it as she distances herself from her childhood/family, only to fall in love with it again later on. Also I feel like the country vibes fit her well. (She would also LOVE betty but she would pretend it's a lesbian anthem)

Gorgug: Ok this feels controversial but he's a Lover stan. I just fully belive that to his core Gorgug is a lover not a hater and he would un ironically love Lover. Like to me that album is all about having gone through some bad shit and choosing to only carry forward the best of it? And that fits with my perception of Gorgug. ALSO the end of afterglow 'I want to be defined by the things that I love, not the things that I hate, or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night' just feels very Gorgug coded to me dont ask me why. However if you've seen any of my other posts about music and the bad kids you know that I wholeheartedly believe Gorgug loves all music so I think he'd be hard pressed to choose a favourite album.

Riz: Midnights. And not just because this kid never sleeps. Bassically I really couldn't decide which album he would listen to because none of them really fit, but then I started thinking about specific lyrics and I think Midnights has the most that he could relate to. I mean 'no one wanted to play with me as a little kid so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since' is about him. You can't change my mind. I do think though that Riz is definitely more invested in all the easter eggs and firguring out which album is coming next over actually listening to her music. Like he would for sure be among the first to figure out all her clues.

Fabian: 1989 and Folklore. I fully to the bottom of my heart belive that until his sophmore year Fabian would exclusivly be listening to pop music, sea shanties, and weird elven music. So obviously he would love the greatest pop album ever made. He wouldn't listen to Folklore until post sophmore character development. Also he would For Sure learn the choreography for the dance in the background of Dress on the Rep tour and recreat it perfectly using his sheet.

Fig: Speak Now. I mean do I even need to explain this? It's the perfect album for Fig. It's the kind of thing she would have loved when she was in her Preppy Cheerleader phase, but it has just enough of that pop punk influence that I feel like she could still appreciate it when she's older. I feel like she would definitly take issue with some of the misogynistic lyrics used in some of the songs, and would be all for the lyric change in Better Than Revenge. Also as I've mentioned many times before, Fig would love Paramore, and would LOVE Castles Crumbling. Like you're going to sit here and tell me that lines like 'They used to cheer when they saw my face, Now I fear I have fallen from grace' + 'Their faith was strong, but I pushed it too far, I held that grudge 'til it tore me apart' + 'Ones I loved tried to help, so I ran them off, And here I sit alone, behind walls of regret' + 'People look at me like I'm a monster, Now they're screaming at the palace front gates, used to chant my name, Now they're screaming that they hate me, Never wanted you to hate me' weren't written by Figueroth Faeth? I also just think songs like Never Grow Up and Long Live would perfectly fit with her not so secret sentimental streak.

Adaine: Evermore and Folklore. I think theres just a sort of elegence to these albums that really reminds me of Adaine. I also think theres so much vulnerability in them and a lot of the songs touch on feelings of not being good enough for others (mirrorball, tolerate it, this is me trying, right where you left me) that I think she could relate to not from a romantic relationship standpoint but from all the expectations placed on her by her parents. I also think that although these are probably the most low key of tswifts albums, they have some good angry songs (no body no crime, illicit affairs, mad woman) that she would definitly love. But yeah this is mostly based on aesthetics. Evermore and Folklore were albums written with a quill and Adaine is the kind of girl to appreciate this.

#ok thats all my thoughts on tswift and the bad kids #thank you for reading #if youre reading all this and thinking 'my blorbo wouldnt listen to that album youre wrong' then PLEASE tell me #i want to hear other peoples oppinions on this please please please #talk to me about my two special interests #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fig feath #adaine abernant #gorgug thistlespring #fabian seacaster #kristen applebees #riz gukgak #ps i know a lot of tumblr people dont like tswift and thats totally valid she is morally a very questionable person #long post

[wondermentishere]

not posting this for an audience, but since this a public account… ***TW: EATING DISORDERS***

ive recently accepted that ive had an eating disorder all of my life… my earliest memories of getting ready for daycare wasnt healthy at all. the way i examined and processed my body… tweaked my clothing with the knowledge of how important being desirable was.. i remember learning what being skinny meant and looked like. at daycare, i mustve been like 6 years old. me with a group of girls a couple years older than me were evaluating how flat this one girl’s stomach was. from that moment on, i held my belly tight and flexed in public at all times, a mechanism i know ill carry for the rest of my life. i remember being in my room alone, up late watching cartoons on a weekend eating a big bag of hot cheetos. i stuffed myself so full, i vomited all over my little sister’s trundle trying to make it to the toilet in time. i remember being in the 3rd grade looking at my school pictures, loving how you could see my abs through my tight blue shirt. i remember in the 4th grade, my mom bought us subway and i finished my meal before anyone else even started on theirs. she looked at me puzzled, chuckled then called me a nerd. i cried… that was the beginning of her insulting me as a reflex. she felt bad and asked me if i wanted her to go back to the restaurant to get me more. i declined out of humiliation. back then it didnt matter to me how much i stuffed myself. i was such an active kid that even when i fell asleep with a swollen belly, i woke up so empty it hurt.

5th grade i started making close girl friends for the first time since preschool. they always straightened their hair and thought i should to. boys thought they were cute, but no one liked me in that way. i was the nerdy goofball that didnt know how to groom myself properly. white stuff around my overly poked out lips and boogers constantly in my nose. i made my own outfit for the toderick hall play i was starring as a munchkin in and remember looking down at my clothes and feeling ashamed at how much better the other kid’s costumes were. my mom noticed my demeanor change whenever we were walking up to the venue. she told me not to be self conscious. waiting in the dressing room with all the pretty white girls was the first time i noticed how uncomfortable i am looking at myself in the mirror with other people, specifically women are around me. im still like that to this day. sometimes i submit to exposure therapy and force myself to acknowledge my reflection while im washing my hands. i dont understand why it is so painful for me to do. i remember hugging this boy i had the biggest crush on goodbye the last day of school and he called me dirty and disgusting in front of other people, including my bestfriend, after i walked away. she proudly repeated it back to me later that day. i just felt numb. i didnt let it penetrate me emotionally but i did feel humiliated and annoyed.

i just felt ugly in the 6th grade. kids were mean about my natural hair, i didnt have boobs like the popular girls. i just wanted to fit in and started wearing bows (i never wore bows) and wearing 2 bras to give the illusion of a more developed chest. my deceptive behavior got noticed once in the locker room and my ex bestfriend laughed at recalling the exposure over a decade later (i admit it was pretty funny). whenever puberty started to hit in the 7th grade is when i really started obsessing over maintaining my thinness. i felt so lonely and finally could identify my emptiness watching interviews of sullen musicians i adored. i was looking through pictures from the year before with my mom and she made a comment how i “wasnt boney anymore” like i use to be. that bothered me. i wanted to be as skinny as michael jackson. i wanted a “dancer’s body”. i didnt want boobs. i wanted to wear deep v necks over the flattest chest. i wanted to be on stage.

7th grade i purposefully started skipping lunch. mainly cause for the first time, i finally had friends i could count on to eat with everyday. they rarely ate lunch. we didn’t even go to the lunchroom, we just chilled in the band room during that time. i never had money to eat at school anyway and the lunches my mom packed me were embarrassing to eat in front of everyone. she was kind of a health freak and smushed wheat pb&js in a brown plastic kroger bag always got turned up noses from my peers. ive been embarrassed to eat in front of other people since the subway incident in the 4th grade and the fact i never had anything “cool” to eat didnt help either. sometimes my mom would make me lunch and i would let it sit in my backpack for days. gross shit. my mom sold herbal life and sometimes watery shakes were the only “meal” i was interested in downing for the day. i got my first iphone and had a calorie tracker on it. i would workout hard after karate and step practice, making sure i was in a calorie deficit to set me up for success the next day. i use to love waking up and immediately going to the mirror to admire how skinny i was. i loved my abs.. but still i was never satisfied with my body. this behavior carried over until my 8th grade year.

i remember being weighed for the school’s “Pacer Test” and noting the defeat i felt going from 114 lbs as an 7th grader to 120 lbs. my curves were coming in, my boobs were developing. back in the 6th grade i would wear two bras cause i felt like an outcast, this year i purposely only wore sports bras that i had outgrown at an attempt to bind my chest. i remember taking a break in the bathroom with my friend at a football game we were cheering at. i thought she was paying attention to something else and stopped flexing my bloated stomach for just a moment. she noticed and call it out “oh you got a gut on you”. i immediately sucked it back in and didnt really acknowledge her comment out of embarrassment. sometimes when we would wear the same cheer shirt to school she would go around asking boys who wore it better. i really did not like that shit.

the cycle of binging and restricting was very prominent throughout all of highschool. i finally could scrap up enough money to get pizza and hot cheetos everyday. i didnt have friends to sit with though and felt humiliated sitting in the lunchroom alone or with other random outcasts i barely said a word to. i considered eating in the bathroom like the movies but determined it too gross. so i would scarf down my food and either sit in the library on twitter or search for queer books until lunchtime was over. sometimes i would hide out in the girl’s lockerroom. i was a student athlete and conditioned pretty hard everyday. i remember walking around in the gym after practice and my coach told me i “looked fit” haha. i went back home and told my mom and she agreed with a hint of resentment in her tone. i would body check my stomach routinely. i just didnt like how big my arms were. they were toned but not muscular. they looked fat to me. my armpits to this day dont have that sunken look ive always wanted. i kept my chest strapped down at all times, wearing the same sports bra over and over again.

in 11th grade, i changed highschools and went from the loner jock to the infamous theater kid. i started to care about social injustice alot and was becoming alot more informed. my mind was consistently on learning, making art, and being silly on the internet. alot of the kids were my peers in middle school and the popular girls wanted me in their circle. i felt insecure plus i didnt really like them. they were kinda mean and too self-absorbed & not very funny. i wanted them to like me though and texted them making fun of our classmates and teachers during class. we sat together at lunch… they didnt eat (they had eating disorders too) so i didnt either. they would hangout outside of school and drink together and would never invite me. that shit crushed me even though i didnt really want to drink or even be around them. i just always felt like no one would ever consider me a real friend. i kind of sabotaged our relationship by playing a mean prank on one of the girls who accidentally snapchatted me half nude pics of her meant for a boy she liked. i wasnt attracted to her, but screenshotted the pictures just to get a reaction out of her. i thought freaking her out would be funny since she begged me not to open the chat in the first place. i assured her and her bestfriend that i deleted the pics after and apologized profusely. idk what was wrong with me.

i was always the kid in hella extracurricular activities cause it 1. interested me 2. kept me out the house. i would go all day not having breakfast and maybe a bag of baked cheetos for lunch, rehearse for hours after school then walk miles back home to no dinner because my sisters werent ever considerate enough to leave some for me. my mom never made them either.

sza’s hair really inspired me in 2015. i experimented alot with crochet braids my junior year and took “sexy” pics for the first time on my cracked ipad sitting on my mom’s bathroom floor. i couldve sworn that was my cutest year but my yearbook picture came out so bad a boy who had a crush on me even said it was ugly. i forgot to retake it. embarrassing as fuck.

anyway, i just really detached from the world and my body end of senior through college. boobs strapped down, body checking, working out hard, binging on snacks. i remember looking at freshman pics of me sophomore year with my first girlfriend and she told me i looked like a fatass loser lol. yeah.. i “loved” someone who would talk to me that way. freshman 15 definitely hit hard and i went home winter break with a balloon face. did kickboxing with my mom, lost alot of weight, cut off my hair and went back to school in january with people telling i looked like “a model”. i was starting to get more comfortable with my queerness so was open to more masculine presentation especially since i was hundreds of miles away from my mom and my gf really liked studs. from then on ive been in a cycle of not caring, neglecting myself in the name of freedom, trying new looks and sometimes liking it, constantly cutting my hair due to anxiety and dysphoria, sometimes really caring and craving validation. being feminine just to fit in.

now im at a place where i just want to grow out my hair, work, and starve myself until im 30 pounds lighter tbh. i want to get lost in my head and latch onto my creativity. i want to abandon everyone i know. thats what i want to do and i will. maybe not the abandon part tho cause i actually love my friends. side note: im pretty sure my undiagnosed adhd is a big reason why i binge. cant wait to get treated for that cause trying to control the impulse without medication is torture. plus, i heard stimulants make you lose your appetite :P

#diary #edanon #tw disordered eating

[sailorhyunjinz]

I always wonder how skz would react to an s/o with a LARGE SEX DRIVE SHSBDBS idk like guys r usually super horny but imagine if u were hornier than them HAHA

BRRRAH QUICK REACTION POST!

warnings: mostly dom!skz x gn!reader. impact play, nicknames, hickies, masturbation, exhibitionism, overstimulation, slight dacryphilia, sex toys, daddy kink, riding, degradation, dumbification. 

Bangchan: 

The thing is not that he wouldn’t like it,,, more like he would be tired?

Sure,,, he has good stamina but he would more prefer longer sex sessions that are more intimate and romantic rather than a bunch of quickies.

but thats like... 95% of the time, the remaining 5% is dicking you down so hard you won’t be able to walk because “you asked for it, you dumb fuck”

BUT THATS RARE

you would really have to get him worked up in order for that to work

and even then he would only go for maybe 2 rounds

“c-chan... one more time~” you said after cumming for the third time that night. “y/n, arent you sleepy?” he says, chuckling. you shake your head, “just one more time!” you say all giddy to which bangchan sighed. 

Minho:

ok now hear me out, im not gonna mix astrology in here,,, but i am going to mix astrology in here lmao

this boy a scorpio

a scorpio

meaning his intimate parts rule over his body (JUST SAYING TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT)

so he loves this. A LOT

any opportunity to be inside of you he’ll take

he’s hella horny and would like a s/o that matches that aura so HEY! fits perfectly (thats what she said)

show any sign of a sexual act and he wont hesitate to slam you against a table

legit as small as licking a lollipop 

“stop that unless you want my dick in your throat” he says, not even looking up from his phone as the sounds of you sucking a lollipop fills the room. you don’t stop, no, you go even harder. he looks up from his phone. “is that a yes?”

Changbin:

ahh... binnie binnie is head over heals for this

he finds it extremely hot that you initiate the sex most of the time

it shows that you really want him 

and he likes attention and feeling appreciated so this works

also has kind of a firey attitude

meaning that he gets worked up real quick

just like minho it doesnt take much for him to notice your sexual signs

“binnie~ i need you” you whisper in his ear as he’s working on something on his computer. you drag your lips across his neck and nibble on his ear before he turns around and glares at you with dark eyes. “princess/prince wanna play that game huh?”

Hyunjin:

shy to initiate so this makes it easier for him 

his stamina is relativly high

but i feel like there would be kiiind of a gap between the two of you since he’d be completely exhausted after a couple of rounds but you beg for more.

leaving him with no other choice but to give it to you

since he loves you too much to say no ><

i feel like he’d make fun of you for it 

LMAO I DONT KNOW WHY BUT JUST HE’D FIND IT FUNNY THAT YOU’RE ALWAYS SO DESPERATE

“hyunjin,, please!” you says in the nicest tone you could muster but only being mocked by hyunjin copying you in an annoying voice

“HyUnJiiinNn~” you burst into laughter, hitting him playfully on the shoulder. “thats what you sound like y/n!!”

but nah most of the time he will take it but always with some playfulness first. 

Jisung:

HORNY TEENAGER JISUNG AGENDA

all the time

no matter where or when

some of yall are about to be real mad at me but it must be said HASHAHAH STOP CHER STOP

he just gives me this hormonal teenager vibe

and so there’s a lot of fucking in a lot of unconventional places

simply because his angel wants it

it even borders to him being even hornier than you but you find joy in that

you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve caught him watching porn or masturbating BECAUSE IT HAPPENED OFTEN

and everytime it would lead to heated sex that could last for hours

“h-help me y/n! dont just stand there s-staring” he says, blushing a bit as he openly strokes his dick infront of you. you shrug your shoulders, closing the bedroom door and inching closer to the warm boy.

Felix:

tough one to read... hmmm.... 

honestly he wouldn’t mind

sure he’d be tired 

and therefore he’d rather prefer seeing you ride a dildo or something

because then you’re satisfied and he doesnt have to do much

NOT THAT HE’S LAZY

just that he likes to cuddle and chill more than being inside of you all the time

he’s sensitive which has its pros and cons

pro: easy to get horny

con: easily overstimulated

WHICH SURE you’d find it fun to torture him by keeping him cumming over and over again

but poor boy would be crying in the end

which only added to your horniness OOP

“y/n,, s-stop please im begging you,, ahhgh..” he moans from underneath you, you putting him through his fourth orgasm which is causing him to shake and cry as you didn’t stop riding him. “mhm... but I wanna cum once more, not fair... you can cum so many times but I can’t! be a good boy and shut up, maybe i’ll let you go after this round”

Seungmin:

giving me that same energy that chan has

but this time instead of 95:5 its more like 65:35

meaning 65% romantic puppy that wants to take his time with you, roaming his hands all over your body and really connecting with you

and the other 35% well... more like relentless pounding, all covered in love bites and hand prints (im drooling)

he becomes all hard dom when he’s stressed and soo...

you get him stressed which ok you feel bad about but... he gets to release all his stress (and cum) on you and you get what you want 

DING DING DING! win-win situation!!

so yeah he would like it most of the time especially when you’re stressed and especially when you’re a brat

turning him on by rubbing on his lap but running away the next second

he likes to make you obey rather than you already obeying. 

he was watching tv peacefully when you suddenly plopped down on his lap, starting to squirm about when watching a tv show. he held you down by the waist. “shh stop” he says once with a bitter tone but you didn’t listen, only continuing to move and feeling his member getting harder. “Is d-daddy getting hard?” you coo at him with a mischievous voice to which seungmin sighed, his hands snaking around your upper body and wrapping around your neck, pushing your back against his chest. “little fucker wanna play with daddy”

oml why did this become so aggressive i have a lot of pent up sexual frustration ASHASHS

Jeongin: 

he’d find it really hot in the beginning

but what he didn’t realise was how tiring sex is 

yk teenagers! learning as they go (i like how im talking about this as if im older than him LMAO)

catch his search history being: “is it normal to have sex everyday” 

he’d be sore :(( 

and when he told you that he probably needed to just cuddle he felt bad because he always wanted to please you

but the two of you would find your ways around it

vibrators EHHEHE

especially those remote control ones

he’d just go ham with those I KNOW IT

because just like felix, you’d be satisfied and he could chill for the time being 

beg pretty enough and he’ll give you the real thing

“b-but i need you now jeongin! stop with that fucking controller!!” you try to snatch it out of his hand but fail. “say please” he says, looking at you with sweet brown eyes. “pl-pleaseeee~!” he melts into a puddle of blushes as he speaks “alright but only because you’re a good one” 

HEY THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN WRITING!! send in sum more, i’ll make them into short reactions like these because my requests for the “official” reactions is closed (will probably open shortly) but YEEEAH 

thank u anon for your very very smart brain and for requesting HEH >< 

also this is not proof read so ignore any mistakes OOP

#stray kids smut #stray kids reaction #skz smut #skz reaction #kpop smut #bangchan smut #lee know smut #changbin smut #hyunjin smut #han smut #felix smut #seungmin smut #i.n smut #stray kids drabbles #stray kids fics #stray kids x gender neutral reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #stray kids x stay #anon #Cherrymail🍒

[bakugoukatsuki-rising]

I'm. The new covers, op. The new covers. Gosh. Both of them hold so much symbolism. And technically they both are canon, they are both original ideas that could perfectly be valid. Horikoshi simply found something better. But anyways, I'm going to go ahead and ramble about it because Im- Op, prepare for a long ask! Hope you like it!

So!

On the one where Katsuki's the one in the picture, he's not on his knees like he is in the other two covers. Instead, he has his face down, body forward, one hand on one leg, the other one holding out for something...He's bowing. Bowing in Japanese culture is a pretty big deal. Hes not just tilting his head a bit, his head and body are on full on commitment.

Such a tilted bow means a LOT, specially from THIS guy, Mr dont let anyone walk in front of me. Even more when hes not just bowing, but accepting such an open display of given help, Mr shonen anime lone wolf. Accepting something he always has trouble admitting to. Accepting the past, accepting the wrongs. Accepting Izukus help means so much, and that's what these three covers have in common.

His hand is sctretching out. He's ready to say yes to that hand out in the air.

(Ps. I wonder if he's watching his own reflection on the water in this panel, as well?)

Hes in middle of the picture with those childhood friend at the back, which means audience. It means letting people see what hes done, what he's sorry for. He is being open and exposed and vulnerable. That's no fighting stance.

Remember guys, in case you haven't noticed before, Horikoshi puts lots of metaphorical value in his manga and on his covers. Sometimes you've got to dig in deep and think to get the bigger picture. And in this case, the bigger picture screams regret and wanting to make things right from the start.

This cover occurs in the past, at the moment where everything started, and Katsuki fully remembers this. Katwuki has thought of this, is thinking about this. He's had eye bags for gods sake, he's clearly troubled by all of what it means.

These three covers are the visual explanation of what's going on inside Katsuki's head, because this is clearly focused on him and his perspective.

(Ps. Rivers symbolise the massage of time. If that doesnt add to everything else, I dont know what to tell you.)

So! Next!

Wow, if this isnt one of my favourite things ever. Okay. Christ.

I have two options here. Scratch that, three options. Scream into the void, scream into this post, or actually make a good presentation of my inner turmoil. I'll have to go by the third option. (Haha. Just like horikoshi did. Dont # me, I'm funny in my head.)

This cover melted my insides, froze them all over, and hit me with them like a hammer.

I know they're kids, but let me get this straight-so kids seriously look at their friends with these looks in their eyes and think "ah, yes. This is my very good friend. This gentle smile and kind look I'm giving him as if he was my whole world? Well, hes just a very good friend."

I looked at my childhood crush this way, I dont know what to tell you.

Anyway, let's actually jump to the information at hand.

This panel seems like it's making a reference to what Katsuki wishes could have been. And if that's not absolutely soul-crushing...this cover is Katsuki's feelings, guys. These are probably his very thoughts. This scene has gone through Katsuki's head at some point.

We've got Izuku in his stuck up pose all over again, in just an awkward angle. It's like katsuki isnt looking AT this katsuki right now, but at the spot where the actual past Katsuki, at some point, was. As if this Isuku is frozen in time. Dont believe too much in this paragraph, I still have my doubts about that, but I feel it's a possibility. Izukus eyes seem to be focused on the water, while Katsuki is just the tiniest bit back, reaching for Izukus hand. And gosh.

I dont think I've ever seen older NOR child Katsuki have this look plasted into his face before. He's...sheepish. Kindly, awkwardly sheepish. No hate, no anger, no shame, no nothing. His face is clear and sweet and has this "Whoops. You got me. But thanks." kind of expression on.

The hand behind his head, just the tiniest but embarassed? That little smile? It's all so soft.

Rambling about softness though- I really liked the hand scene in this particular panel. If you close up your view, you realise that theres no effort to pull anyone out of nowhere. In this panel, they are simply holding hands in frozen time for no purpose at all.

Katsuki has his hand around Izuku...simply holding there.

Again, because the angle is awkward, it's kind of messy, but you get the point.

It's all simply beautiful. Horikoshi clean likes give me life.

And lastly. The actual cover.

I screeched so hard when I saw this. My first instinct when seeing this for the first time was to straight up go trigger happy fingers and write about it to my friends. Christ.

Everything is so...SOft. horikoshi made a good decision by mixing both previous drawings in one. We have parts of the two covers in one, which is amazing. In this one, Katsuki isnt alone, as Izuku's there too. But we dont have the audience either. Probably because the main focus on this panel is no one else except them two.

Again, Katsuki looks like he's bowing, but instead of looking all the way down, he's in the middle. Not looking at Izuku nor looking at the ground, like it shows in the previous covers. Instead, Horikoshi found a middle ground. He's looking at his hand. At the gesture.

Hes not holding hands quite yet, but his hand is there. At arms reach. Not close enough but there. Wanting.

Theres so much regret and again, softness.

Again, like you Op said a bit bad, the angle is off here. This is present Katsuki remembering his past. The angle is off because this Izuku isnt holding out for our Katsuki. This is a memory. A wish. Katsuki's wish.

(Ps. Izukus trousers drenched in the rivers water. This detail was so nice. It's a subtle action that describes Izukus characterization so much. Izuku went in the river with Katsuki in mind, not caring if he got his clothes soaked in the process too. For Izuku, only Katsuki was there. And for Katsuki, only Izuku is.

As a plus, I can't believe the cover of this is literally called Bakugou Katsuki rising. They named the entire thing after that one chapter. Actually, I very much, totally believe it. It's the moment so many people have been waiting for, after all. The moment so many scenes have been amounting for, little by little.

*dreamy sigh*

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this little thing, I had to get it out of my system and dont want to bother my dear friends anymore than needed.

Have a good day, OP! I'll stay updated!

You kinda just...took my heart and curb stomped it, not gonna lie. Your observations are so beautiful and so accurate. The sketch with little Bakugou taking Izuku’s hand is so...raw, and yeah, that expression is definitely one of love. Those eyes, the way he is HOLDING Izuku’s hand, not TAKING it. He isn’t taking it to stand up, he is literally just...holding it. 

That isn’t the way you take someone’s hand when you’re trying to pull yourself up. It’s an awkward angle and just...wouldn’t work right. No, he is literally just holding his hand, and that’s exactly what Bakugou wishes he did all that time ago. He wishes that he not only took Deku’s hand, but held onto it. Held it as if it were something precious, something to be cared for and protected. 

These are Bakugou’s true feelings expressed in these drawings, and I think Horikoshi released them on purpose, to show us more of what he wanted Bakugou to be feelings through all of this. Since after all, we know that Bakugou expresses himself in action, not so much words. And because Horikoshi is an absolute genius, he thought to give us these other glimpses in how he feels through these actions. 

And the other sketch with him bowing his body to Izuku, and the way the log looks like it’s on his back with his ‘friends’ on top of it. 

The pressure of needing to be the coolest, the strongest, the best. Those kids put that kind of pressure on him, even if they never realized it. They encouraged his behavior and fed his ego, and it never allowed him to see how he was wrong. But now he is realizing it, and he is bowing himself in light of that acknowledgement. He is lowering his head and putting his pride away, so he can get back what he lost all those years ago; the opportunity to take Izuku’s hand.

To take the hand of the only one of those kids that ever loved him unconditionally. Who never pressured him or expected him to be invincible. Who saw all of his flaws and was completely prepared to support him despite all of it. The only one. 

I’m just a mess over all of this, and I am so incredibly thankful to Horikoshi for creating this beautiful relationship. AND IN A SHOUNEN MANGA, NONETHELESS!!  

Thank you friend, for your beautiful thoughts. I think they’re spot on, and I am so emotional all over again because of this. 

#bnha spoilers #bnha #mha #bkbk #bakudeku #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #kacchan #deku #bnha meta #bnha analysis #blackiee-is-heree #asks #basketball idiot #basketball idiot replies

[sleepypeaky]

amore e famiglia

Michael gray x italian-american male reader

request: My gay italian ass self would LOVE a Micheal Gray fic, but like, not sure he would like a guy who's italian after that fucking Luca incident.. and I dont know if you write for mlm..

a/n: ok so i fuckign wrote this BEFORE i wrote amore and i never fucking posted this klfdsgjdlskfgjkldf im such a fuckign idiot

 (original a/n) this is very obviously a projection and naturally i chose a dinner scene to potray this bcs ... italian. I hope you dont mind that i added siblings, i wanted it to have a larger 1920s family vibe. Dedicated to all of my italian american gays ✌️we be lit

Part 1/prequel

1928?

Before you knocked on the door you turned to michael, giving him yet another disclaimer. 

You took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Ma i’m here!” You called.

The door opened into a small foyer area, then up ahead was the living room, kitchen, and around the corner to the right was the dining room and bedrooms. Your mother hurried out of the kitchen wiping her hands on her apron. 

“(y/n) bambino!” She cooed in her light accent as she pulled you in for a big hug and kissed your cheeks fervently. She held you at the shoulders when she pulled back to inspect you for damage. Then she remembered Michael.

“You must be Michael!” She abandoned you and went to make her attack on him, which was difficult considering he was a good foot taller than her. Nevertheless, she gave him a once-over and let out an incoherent exclamation of satisfaction, then she pulled his face down to plant a kiss on either cheek.

“I see you are a good strong boy. You take care of my son!” Then she hurried off to set the dining room table.

You turned to Michael, “Well that went pretty well.”

You helped michael find a hook for his coat and then led him into the living room.

Your father in a chair in the corner, muttering at the newspaper held up to his face.

“Hiya Pop.”

He looked up and seemed to suddenly remember that company was coming over. He folded the paper and stood up, saying a brief hello to you accompanied with a light pinch and slap of your cheek. He held out his hand to michael who shook it. 

“Nice to meet you sir.” He said. You laughed at his formality.

Your father smiled and nodded his head satisfactorily, he clapped a hand on michael’s shoulder. “You see,” he was talking to you “words of respect! I like the look of you Michael.”

“Thank you sir.”

Your father was called out of the room to assist your mother and you had a minute alone with Michael.

“You see, It’s not going so bad!” He said to you and squeezed your hand.

“True,” You sighed “But just wait until my sisters get here.”

-

“Nonna!” You called loudly as you stepped into the kitchen. The small woman was stirring something in a pot that looked twice her size. She let out a cry of excitement when she saw you both. She hobbled over and reached up to pinch your cheek and said an affectionate “faccia brutto!”

[faccia brutto is a term of endearment, but basically means ‘you’re ugly’]

Your grandmother now turned to Michael and pretty visibly swooned.

“This is Michael.” You said.

“piacere di conoscerti.” Michael said in butchered italian. You instantly loved him more for trying to speak your grandmothers language, though, not as much as she was. 

She threw her hands up and squealed with delight, she babbled a bit in italian before reaching up to pinch michael’s cheek. “Faccia Bello!!” She exclaimed triumphantly. 

You laughed, “She says you’re handsome.”

Michael grinned and rubbed the red pinch mark on his face.

-

Shortly after, your older sister arrived with her husband, and one of your younger sisters came shortly after. 

“I have 5 beautiful children,” Your mother explained to michael from across the table. “First a girl, then (y/n) my little boy, then the next 3 girls. But two live too far away for dinner, but we fill space with you!”

Amidst the talking -or should i say yelling- you glanced at michael to see he was clearly unaccustomed to the volume of the conversation.

nonna came out with the pot somehow carrying it before her. she gave everyone a slop of sauce and pasta from the pot, but when she got to michael she gave him more than the others

“Strong boy” she said in a thick italian accent and pinched his cheek again. Your sister laughed. “Looks like nonna likes you michael.”

“So what do you do Michael?” Your sister’s husband asked.

“I, ah...” You smirked into your fork-full of pasta. You liked seeing how michael reacted to that question. “Family business- motor manufacturing, I was just the accountant but now I oversee the New York branch.”

You could feel michael relax as your brother in law took the story- he had no reason not to. 

“Family business you say, I like that. It’s good to keep things in the family.” Your father would say something like that. “Whats the name?”

“Shelby Company Limited- my cousin’s name.”

-

It was over. You leaned agains the door to your apartment and let out a sigh of relief. 

“Oh come on! It was great!” Michael assured you.

You kicked off you shoes and went to collapse on the couch.

Michael came over and slipped under your sprawled legs.

“You were amazing.” You said and you kissed him.

“But,” You said with a grin. “I dont think i can be with you anymore.”

Michael smiled, “And why is that?”

“Because i think my grandma wants you for herself strong boy.” You mimicked your grandmothers accent on the last words. 

Michael laughed, “well thats too bad because she might not think so but you have a faccia bello.”

You smiled and kissed him again.

“Now,” You said. “It’s your family’s turn.”

#michael gray #michael gray x reader #michael gray x male reader #peaky blinders x male!reader #male reader #michael gray x male!reader #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders x reader #mlm

[words-for-holland]

Quarantine Series: A New Look

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Y/N decides its the perfect time to change her look. When Tom and the Holland Boys notice, they’re not so sure on how to feel about it.

Check the rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses | Breaking Friendships |The Birthday Week | Movie Night | Silence is Golden?|

It wasnt a bad idea....at least Y/N didnt think it was. As she continued to scroll through her phone, she saw a lot of posts from Instagram and Tik Tok that got her thinking of creating a new look. Y/N noticed how girls were now dressing in crop tops and street wear, exposing their mid-driffs in a way that made them look older and seductive. They wore their hair up in buns, while their polished face was painted with makeup.

Reading the comments, she noticed how guys raved about the social influencers’ look, claiming how messy buns and mid-driffs always hits a man differently. Now, it wasn’t like Y/N wanted the same attention but she did wondered if her boyfriend Tom would have the same reaction. If she dressed like that would he be even more attracted to her? Would he prefer if she dressed more like the girls they see on Instagram or Tik Tok? Surely he must have some appreciation towards the way they look if he and the Holland Boys follow those types of girls.

Y/N was inspired and decided to get up from her bed and go through her closet. Each clothing she picked up didnt seem to fit her vision. They were all normal and modest, the typical Y/N look. Until, she looked further finding a pair of comfy navy colored sweats that were fitted and slightly baggy. Y/N then pulled out a black sports bra, which complemented well with the bottom wear. She hadnt worn it in years, so it was no surprise when she tried it on it felt new. “Oh good, I guess the Quarantine weight didn’t catch up to me...yet”, Y/N joked to herself.

Looking in the mirror, Y/N inspected the outfit closely. She pursed her lips as she made her judgements, only to give it a nod of approval..but there was still something missing. Y/N worked through her old clothes again but none of them were appealing enough. “Maybe...”, she thought again. Her eyes flickered to Tom’s drawer in the room. Her favorite button up flannel of his came into the picture. It was the perfect touch, and the best part it smelled just like him. She put her arms through the sleeves and adjusted the collar, leaving the flannel unbuttoned. Quickly, Y/N fixed up her hair into a high messy bun, pulling out the flyways and loose hair. She took a step back and was proud of the look she created. It was definitely different...in a good way.

Y/N gave the outfit a test run, casually walking down to the kitchen, to grab some oreos and a glass of milk. The boys were right across the other room, still playing Call of Duty. “Boys” she muttered as she opened the package. “Yall, do any of you guys want some oreos?” Y/N yelled out.

No answer. The likely response, when they’re all too busy yelling at each other over who shot who first. Y/N grabbed the package and brought it over to them, hopefully to get their attention. “What it do baby?!” Tuwaine, yelled out as he won his round. The boys chanted in victory, high-fiving each other, but their eyes and mouths dropped when they turned to face you. “YEAHH—UHH” they said in unision.

Y/N let out an amused laugh, guess that’s one way to shut them up. “Oh good, I have your attention...Did any of you guys want some oreo’s?” She asked, offering them the box.

“Yeah..I mean sure but wow Y/N...you look hot!” Harrison spoke out, forgetting his best friend was also in the room. Tom gave him a scowl, hitting him in the arm. “Sorry mate, I mean..you look good Y/N.”

“Yeah what’s with the outfit? Trying to seduce Tom?” Tuwaine joked as he grabbed an oreo.

“I think..what those divs are trying to say is you look different...in a good way.” Harry interrupted, trying not to make the situation anymore awkward. Tom looked at you, trying to read your motives...but in no way did he seem as happy about the look as the other guys were. “You look beautiful, darling” Tom spoke, though the comment felt rather short. The girl in front of him looked completely different. Hot she was, Tom wouldnt deny that, but different it also was and there was something off about it. Did he not like it? Was something wrong?

“Thanks..darling” she spoke softly. “Thought you would like it.” Y/N looked down at the oreos, and the tension within the room grew with silence. The boys knew it was their time to leave as the couple clearly needed some alone time. They quickly bid them goodnight as they headed upstairs to their rooms. Now it was just Tom and Y/N. “So...I guess you didnt like it?”

Tom stood for a moment, not giving away his emotions. “I never said that. I said you were beautiful as always.”

“Well clearly your actions speak louder than words.” Y/N spat back. She closed her eyes for a second, realizing she was getting nasty for no reason. “Sorry, it’s just you didnt seem as thrilled as I imagined you’d be.”

Tom took a step closer to Y/N. “I was only short because I didnt know what to really say. You know I can read you sometimes. For some reason, when I saw you in that outfit...you just seemed off.” He rubbed her arms gently before ge continued “I just wanted to make sure you felt comfortable yourself.”

“I was comfortable...kinda.” She said with less confidence. “I dont know Tom, I just wanted to try a new look and be attractive for you. Is that a crime?”

He laughed as he shook his head, not believing what was coming out of his girlfriend’s mouth. “Y/N there’s never a moment when you’re not attractive to me! I love you just the way you are! Your style, your personality, your looks, and everything else that makes you!”

She looked up at his eyes, giving him a slight smile. “I know, and I hope you know that I love you as is. Every perfection and imperfection. I just know that you and the boys follow a lot of models on Instagram that I was just curious to see if I could pull it off.” Y/N replied, shrugging her shoulders as she made her confession.

“Well I can definitely say it’s surpassed my expectations and all the models on there.” Tom laughed. “Look just promise me that no matter what happens. Whether you change your style or anything about you, you do it for yourself and not because you think it’ll please me or anyone else.”

Y/N held his hand, rubbing small circles with her tiny thumbs. She looked into his eyes once more as she smiled. “I promise.” She leaned in giving him a chaste kiss that left a million fireworks as always. Pulling away, the couple continued to enjoy this precious moment. “So, it’s got the stamp of approval now?” She asked.

Tom smiled with a nod of approval. “Absolutely...but only for my eyes this time. Dont want no other man oogling at my girl’s mid-driff.” He gently placed his cold hands on her exposed skin, performing the same action Y/N did to his hands

“Oh..we wouldnt want that.” She mutter leaning in for another kiss.

“No we wouldnt.” He mumbled against her lips. “Seriously though, it is kinda hot, especially you wearing my flannel..ugh it hits different.” Tom continued to gush.

Y/N laughed at his response. “Good that was the plan all along. Now c’mere and give me another kiss.”

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Definitely not like father

summary: Reader is sent up to the maze, but is jansons daughter. After seeing she survived he has a moment with her as she has no idea who this man is.

a/n: here is this one as well, might be the last one for tonight, there are more, ill post more tomorrow. hope you like this one! also It might have some misspelling I think.

Ever since I got into the glade I dreamed of when we would get out. I didn't think people had to die to get out of here. All of our friends were dead or alive coming to the brighter side. As we all got onto the helicopter to some other destination with these other men, they felt very familiar. As we were high in the sky we saw the terrible man made glade along with the maze. Seeing the glade like this, was disgusting. I sat down and wondered who these people were who sent us here. Newt sits next to me as we fall asleep. I feel safe next to him. He knows that. Ever since I got there he was a person I trusted, I told him everything, he listened and was there for me and continues to be there for me.

As I woke up, I heard Newt call me and I quickly got up and held his hand as we entered this other building. I hear screeching but they dont look like grievers, they are humans.

“What the hell?” I said as I looked closer to what these humans were, but Newt grabbed me quickly and all I could do was remember those human faces. Once we got inside there were these other people working and doing stuff with machines.

“You kids alright?” a voice said, an older man, older than us. “Sorry about all the fuss. Seems like we caught ourselves into a swarm.” he said as he seems weirdly familiar. “Who are you?” I asked as he just looked at me. I have no idea why he looked at me the way he did, but it felt okay in a way. “y/n..w-what..you survived.” he said as he hugged me and I have no idea what to do. I stood there as I felt tears coming out of his eyes. I turned around to Newt and Thomas, in a confused state, not knowing what was going on. “Im sorry, i don't know who you are...c-can you please let go?” i said as he did and wiped the tears out of his eyes. “Right sorry, um well you all can follow me, i'll show you around and let you all get clean up.” he said as we followed and i just stood next to newt’s side the whole time not wanting to get in another hugging situation.

Teresa and i were both taken to the girls showers since you know, we can't really enter a guy shower. As we were getting dressed Teresa spoke. “Why did that man hug you? Do you remember him at all?” she said as i shook my head and put pants on. “I don't know why he hugged me..h-he seems familiar but i don't know who he is.'' I said as she nodded. “Yeah he weirdly seems familiar to me as well.” she said as I chuckled. “Imagine we're related or something.” I said as she smiled. “Wouldn't be so bad, i would like you as a sister.”she said as we walked out into another room which led us into a smaller room, but this time we were separated.

I sat there again confused and had no idea what was going on. This whole place has a weird feeling to it. To me anyway, and the guy who hugged me gave me that same feeling. Just then doors were open and he came in, but he was looking at the ground. “I'm sure you're confused as I am, you have no memory of me, so I'll just tell you” he said as he exhaled. “I'm your father...i don't know how you ended up in that place you were in, but trust me..you're safe here.” he said as i shook my head. “Something tells me that this place isn't so safe. If you are even my father i don't remember you..if anything you probably sent me there, to the glade.'' I said as he nodded.

“Okay then..i just want to know whose side are you on?” he asked as I got up. “Definitely not with the people who sent me there.” i said as i was taken to a cafeteria, where more kids were sent here for some reason. As I looked for my friends, Minho walked up to me. “y/n come on, you got to listen, it wasn't just us, there were other glades.” he said as I furrowed my eyebrows and followed him. This guy was telling us about his glade and that the same guys who got us got them out of there and that the other people there were still in wicked hands. I sat there still thinking about what janson said, how he was my father. “Hey you alright? You've been pretty quiet love.” newt asked as i was brought back into reality. “Oh..um nothing, just is it me or does this place feel weird?” i asked as she furrowed his eyebrows. “Well i don't know, but now that you mention it thomas said the same thing.” he said as i nodded and he held my hand giving me a sincere look and i smiled. Now that I remember some things I knew he was my father, but I just don't know why he's here. Since most gladers don't even remember or even meet their parents. Just then i heard his voice again and he was calling out names, those names were apparently going to some safe haven. Just then Teresa was walking down the hall by some men. Thomas got up and asked the guard what was wrong, but they told him lies. “Who's that guy?” i asked newt as he looked over at him. “That's Aris, apparently he's been here for a while and was in a glade with a bunch of girls.” he said as I looked at him. “I'm gonna go talk to him.” I said as Newt nodded. I then sat next to him, he seemed like someone with answers.

“Hey, you're aris right?” I asked as he nodded. “Yeah and you're jansons daughter.” he said as I nodded. “This place, it isn't what they say it is right?” i said as he sat up straight and he seemed interested in what i have to say. “This place is a bad place, i think you know it is too.” I said as he nodded. “Wait, so you're not on your father's side?” he asked as I shook my head. “No if he did this to me, to my friends, i'm not on his side.'' I said as he nodded. “Well, i'm gonna go through the vents tonight, i'll pick you up and your friend with the brown hair. He also seems like this place is nuts.” he said as I nodded and walked towards my table. “What was that about?” Thomas asked. “Well it looks like this place isn't what it seems.” I said as he nodded, and I told him everything was said and everything happened since I got here.

Once they announced bed time i was taken to my own room since i wasn't allowed to sleep with the guys. I had to say goodbye to most of them, they allowed me and newt to have a private goodbye in another room. “Wish you could stay with me, but with these shanks we wouldn't get sleep.'' Newt said as I chuckled. “Yeah, especially minho.” I said as we hugged for a while. I know it was for the night, but it felt like it was gonna be for a while. Before he had to leave I had to tell him what was going on. “Before you leave, I have to tell you something.” I said as he nodded. “Janson is my dad, and this place feels like it isn't what it seems, it's a part of wickedness and I can feel it, I'm gonna check something out with Thomas tonight.” i said as he shook his head. “y/n no, i don't want you to get hurt, i can't lose you alright,” he said as I grabbed his face. “Newt, i'll be fine, you won't lose me, if i'm right, were gonna get out of here.'' I said as he nodded. “Okay just be safe,” he said as we said one last goodbye and he left with the others. As I heard they locked my door I went into my bunk. Once I heard aris, I got out of bed and quickly went into the vent. Thomas was with him and we both followed aris.

We arrived at another vent door. There were these doctors, who were taking bodies to another room. We counted and it was about 8 bodies, which is the same amount that were called today. “Okay so what does this mean?” I asked Aris as he shrugged his shoulders. “Well for one it could mean that there is no safe haven and that we are all being played.” he said as I nodded. “Okay well, what's our plan to check the inside of that place. There are no other vents going through there.” Thomas said as I nodded. “Okay I have a plan, but we have to wait until tomorrow.” i said as they both nodded and we headed back to our bunks. I figured the plan was gonna work, since i can get a chance to talk to janson again.

I woke up to someone unlocking my door and i got up making sure that the vent door was on, which it was, so i just laid down on the bed as janson walked in. “hey, um i was hoping we could talk.” he said as i nodded. I followed him and i was going through the same hall teresa was going through. I saw thomas and i nodded telling him to initiate the plan. All he had to do was get a key from one of the guards, and i was supposed to get janson to talk and show me past the door. We then arrived to the place we we talked when i first got here. “So, i'm assuming you have questions.” he said as i nodded. “I do, what is this place exactly.” i said as he exhaled. “Well, it's wicked, still us, those bodies from yesterday, arent going to a safe haven..” he said as i nodded. “Where are they going then?” i asked as he glanced at me. “We are keeping them in this lab of sorts, to test the flare on them.” he said as i got the chills. He looked at me in a fatherly way. “I'm not gonna let them touch you, alright, you can hide here as long as you want.” he said as i furrowed my eyebrows. “What about my friends.” i said as he scoffed. “I can't help them.” he said as i just sat there. “I need you here, to help me,” he said as i shook my head. “...please, i can't help you, after the hell you put me though, i can't help you and your people.” i said as he shook his head. “I didn't put you there! I didn't even know they took you from me. After 17 years i looked for you-” he said as i cut him off. “17 years...really? That's nothing, i was there for 3 years and i didn't even knew you existed until yesterday...you aren't my father, my father wouldn't let me be in such a terrible place.” i said as a guard came in. “boss there some of the kids are acting up.” he said as janson looked over. “Damn it...alright i'll be there.” i said as i got up and he stopped me. “I trust that you won't tell anyone about his conversation.” he said as i nodded. I then followed him out and saw thomas fired up. “Thomas! Calm down, i thought we could trust each other.” janson said as i looked over at newt. “You know we're all on the same team here.” he said as Thomas scoffed. “Are we?” he said I was pushed over to them. “Get them to their bunks!” he said as they brought all of us in the room including me.

“Well that worked, now we have to see what's behind that door.” thomas said as newt spoke up. “No you're not going to see, thomas you're not even sure if it's true. You saw bodies it doesn't mean anything.” he said as thomas exhaled. “Look, if i'm wrong than we live are lives here, but if im right we can get the hell out of here.” he said as aris came in. “you got it right?” he said as he showed him the card. “Look im gonna figure it out. Just cover for me. I'll be back as soon as possible.” he said as he went out and we sat here waiting. “Hes right you know.” i said to newt. “Well how do you know that?” he asked as i looked at him. “Janson told me, this is wicked, it's still them, they're just looking for more information.” i said as he nodded. “Well, at least i know its not thomas being paranoid,” he said as i chuckled.

After about 10 minutes or so, thomas came in grabbing the bunk and a blanket. “Thomas!” minho said as he was scrambling, “We gotta go.” he said as he put up the bed. “Aris what happened!” i asked as he stood there in shock. “We gotta get out of here!” he said as i spoke up. “Its wicked isn't it.” i said as he turned around and nodded. “Okay what else is there, come on talk to us.” newt said as he turned around. “Ava paige is alive. She never died.” he said as we all nodded and got out of the vent into the hall. We all walked out and finding they way we entered to get in here. Winston and aries went to go do something. Once we got to the end of the hall dr crawford was standing there. “What are you guys doing out?” she asked as a blaring sound turned on. “She's teresa’s doctor.” i said as thomas got his gun and made her take us to her. As we ran down the halls we got to teresa's room. Thomas went to wake her up while the rest of us tied up the other doctors.”uh guys what do we do?” frypan said. “Fyr move!” newt said as he pushed a table over to the door.  Thomas than broke a glass window and we all quickly made it out. We all then found the door that was our exit, thomas tried opening it with the key, but it wasn't working. “No! Come on!” he said as janson spoke. “Thomas!” he said. “Janson open this door!” he said as he scoffed. “Listen to me, i'm only trying to save your life. The maze was on thing, but you guys won't last one day out there. Believe me i only want what's best for you.” he said as thomas shook his head. “Let me guess wicked is good?” he said. “ you're not getting through that door thomas.” he said as the door opened. I stood there i really wanted to get to know him, but after everything i just can't. “y/n. Come convince them that this is a good place. Please, you have to stay.” he said. “Come on y/n don't listen to him,” newt said as i looked at him. “ i know you're my dad, but i can't...as much as it hurts to leave you i can't” i said as i walked out on the other side and they came running but i broke the door making it shut completely. We then opened the big door and got out running to a broken building away from this terrible mess janson would call home.

#the maze runner #the maze runner imagine #maze runner imagine #newt imagine #newt x reader #janson!daughter

[missdawnandherdusk]

So I saw the post where you said send in requests and i havent seen anything negating that, so uh, do you think you could write something (when you have the time and motivation of course please dont feel obligated (unless you want to) ) where people start noticing the way Draco flinches whenever someone makes a sudden movement and then all of the sudden one day he comes back to the castle after holiday and its so much worse and people start kinda trying to help and make his days better?

okay, here we go. And no one can convince me that no one at Hogwarts noticed that Draco was a victim of abuse but since Harry has the attention span of a goldfish, it wasn’t added that and JKR is a terrible person.

Also warning: this does talk about physical emotional and mental abuse. I want you all to know that you NEVER deserve it and never believe that your abuse situation “isn’t that bad.” You are cherished and loved and worthy and valuable. 

okay, so the first year wasn’t too bad not that it wasn’t bad but, well Draco was innocent to any other way so he thought it was normal for his father to do what he did

Then things start to dawn on him that maybe no... this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. Yet, whenever he asks a question against his father... things don’t end well for him. “But why are muggle-born so bad?” “What’s wrong with the Weasleys?” “Why are you so mean to the house-elves?”  It never ends well, so he stops asking but now boy does he have a lot of questions and internal conflict that grows.

back to the point so someone drops a book/cauldron/glass something and Draco jumps and begins to panic “is his father mad? What did he do? How can he do better?” because he’s convinced that his father is on another rampage, but Crabbe just nudges his arm and he’s brought back to the present and that he’s not in trouble or danger

Snape is the first to notice because he knows what to look for in a child that has been abused at home, from personal experience, so he scolds the student who dropped the thing harshly

Our darling Hufflepuffs take note very quickly. In fact, there’s a support group at Hogwarts for kids who come from not so safe homes. Magical abuse or not, it's a group to just come and feel safe and like you’re not alone lead by Sprout and McGonagall

In Herbology with Draco, the Hufflepuff tells Momma Sprout about what they think is going on and boy is Sprout a momma bear looking out for Draco at every turn and looking into any records she can get her hands on

These kids from the support group start to become very worried about Draco because they’ve seen it all before and they hate seeing anyone else go through what they went through

They start to send him anonymous letters so that he’ll get mail in the mornings, and sneak sweets/snacks into his bag when they notice he’s not eating, or volunteer to be his partner in class

Boy is Draco confused

Which means he snaps a lot more and is rude and scared because he doesn’t understand why they’re being so nice to him

Alone is what I have, alone is what protects me

When Buckbeak attacks him, of course, he breaks down into tears because it’s all too familiar and he’s terrified that if he blinks he might open his eyes and it’ll be his father coming at him, not Buckbeak

and maybe he keeps the bandages and brace on longer for more than he needs it because it was a reminder that someone cared for him and mended his wounds and he didn’t have to do it himself

You think he just like Potions? Oh no, he’s had to make his own healing Potions all his life for the sake of keeping up the family appearance.

Luna Lovegood, the precious child sees right through all of it. Easily. And is a lot more confrontational about it than the support group, who did things more on the down-low. She takes all of his ridicule and taunts and snaps and lets him yell at her because she knows he needs to vent to someone

When Hermione pulls her wand out to attack him, sure, he could be a drama queen with all bark and no bite but maybe again it's too familiar and whenever there’s a wand in his face like that it ends with him in pain 

That night Luna finds Draco in the Astronomy tower alone and just sits next to him. 

He scoffs but after a while asks how can she deal with living alone with her father. She tells him that her father is the kindest person she knows and it finally gets through to Draco that how he grew up was not normal.  

Luna tells him about the Support Group and he gets notes here and there as invitations, and maybe he decides to go one night

He’s surprised to see a lot of kids he knows. Luna goes and sits by some of her friends, Neville is there, and quite a few older Slytherins, and the Hufflepuff from his Herbology class who smiles and waves at him. 

He realizes that these are all the kids who have been nice to him

He doesn’t share at all during the meeting (it’s sort of like AA where kids just go through and talk about what happens to them, if they’ve grown or made progress, what scared them still. The older kids offer advice and comfort and tissues because everyone cries) 

He doesn’t share for a few weeks of meetings that he attends, but he doesn’t feel so hopeless anymore

Maybe now he doesn’t snap so much and maybe he’s not as scared anymore to let people in because he’s not alone and he realizes that everyone has their own inner demons and struggles

Fifth-year is the worst for him. With No Nose back, his father is vicious and ruthless and takes his pain and anger out on Draco. 

It’s after easter break that he finally shares. “My... my father...” 

Before he can say another word there are arms wrapped around him and hands on his shoulders and soft encouragements and consoles. 

“He... he used the cruatious curse on me... and said that if I didn’t do it on someone else that he’d...” And Draco just breaks down into tears because he feels wicked and broken and ashamed. 

He cries harder when no one judges him or yells at him or treats him differently. He’s still just Draco to them. The same thing happens when he tells them about the Dark Mark,

When he starts to slip through the cracks, the group vividly helps him like they’ve helped kids before him for generations. 

Ravenclaws helped him study and find motivation when he started to fail his classes, Hufflepuffs show him how to have fun and take breaks and self-care, Slytherins are there in the common room on sleepless nights with tea and blankets, Gryffindors are there  as a defense squad against anyone who wants to get to Draco and boy do they rip on Harry

But maybe Draco sees in Harry what the others saw in him. A kid who’s very fast with reflexes and has the same sort of anger and defense mechanisms that he did

Draco defends Harry from a Slytherin and Harry is confused and the Slytherin is confused but they back down

Harry just glares and walks away and Draco rolls his eyes and sighs

He sends Harry invitations to the Support Group but the golden boy never shows

When the Death Eaters kidnap Luna, Draco about loses it because Luna was one of the first ones who helped him grow

So he goes down to the dungeon and they still have their own little support group. Luna sees first hand what it’s like to be Draco especially when his father makes Draco use the cruatious curse on her

He cries and begs for Luna’s forgiveness and of course, he has it, she knows he never wanted to hurt anyone

At Hogwarts seventh year, he and the Slytherins who were a part of the support group are now also apart of the rebellion and Draco is livid about the punishments that Snape allows because how dare he allow physical abuse as a punishment and he gets an earful from Draco about it

Snape explains that it’s to keep him safe and Voldemort from suspecting anything and Draco just “I don’t give a damn about me or you! Stop hurting these kids! They’ve done nothing to deserve it!” And he’s in tears

Snape pulls back on his regimen a bit

Of course, Draco lies to his father about not knowing who Harry is. Why would he let his father win when Draco held the cards? 

When Draco’s father calls him back to the side of the Death Eaters, he’s about to go because he is still afraid of his father but Luna takes his hand and so does the Hufflepuff from Herbology, and soon there are hands on his shoulders and arms, reminding him that he’s not alone and that he’s not the scared little kid anymore and he stands with Hogwarts

He and Harry eventually have a talk about growing up and the abuse they both suffered and Harry and Draco both grow as people and stop being so childish and put away the grudge and hatred for another

He takes a Slytherin girl under his wing in eighth year who’s two years younger than him and jumping at her own shadow. He brings her into the Support Group and helps her find some courage and self-worth

That girl is Astoria Greengrass

Tags: @coffee-addicti @msmcsmutt @ravn-87@artemismohr18 @whygz @crazywritingbug @fuzzy-panda @bitemebro522  @zombiesnips-blog @jillanaholland @shookyungsoo @savingdraco @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @akari180 @slytherin-emerald @chaotic-good-gemini @memalfoy-spidey @theres-a-dog-outside-omg @queenfeatherwings @fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe @spicyshenanigans @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise @dietkiwi @katsukink @takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things @tmnt-queen @mccloudchloe @hxneybgb @justsomerandomgur @belcvayelena @moviesbooksandfandoms @howdycharlie @xtrashmouthxtozierx @cocochanelthepupper @ninacotte @braelynn-j @jiggllyy @honeymarvel @darcypottah @atomicpunkrock @thiccheerioss @lottie289 @boredashaeck @beautiful-pegasus @tceedlmao @deadlynyghtshayde @iconjuresnapeingrandmaclothes @anonymous034 @bi-andready-tocry @lunna-does-real-doodle @dragonsandbread @atomicwonderlandmentality @okaydraco @the–queen-of-hell @langdonzvoid @cmxreader @alienmotel @oh-itsnothing​ @tulippings​ @thestressedprincess​ @sunflowerxsadnessw​ @caps-wilsonn​ @fattycooter​ @angelotakunerd08​ @thisisahugemistake​ @fanficsigottaread​ @gweaslvy​ @okaydraco​ @strawberriesonsummer​ @ughjjloveme​ @honeymarvel​  @gaysludge​ @cleopatera​ @ray-of-sunrise​ @artist-bby​ @shadowsingeraxolotl​ @peters-legos​ @quillsareforwriting​ @ghostlytoadalmondhairdo​ @wollymalfoy​ @lilpieceoftoast @monimillion @howdycharlie @gnf847

#draco #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x #draco headcanons #draco and luna #draco and astoria #draco angst #draco fluff #draco one shot #draco imagine #draco lucius malfoy #lucius malfoy #narcissa malfoy #neville longbottom #luna lovegood #hogwarts #slytherin #gryffindor #ravenclaw #hufflepuff #professor sprout #the battle of hogwarts #the deathly hallows #the order of the phoenix #the half blood prince #severus snape #albus dumbledore #minerva mcgonagall #harry potter #hermione granger

[curechocolattymilk]

TES V OC Thingie

[Got tagged by @jessaryss​ ! ]

Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.

✧✧✧ General

Current Level: 56

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Name Meaning: Literally got it from a name generator lol. But lore wise it was a name gifted to them in honor of an Argonian who served beside Tei’s mother during the Great War

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: Early 30s where they are story wise???

Race(s): Argonian

Place of Origin: Hammerfell

Pick A Theme Song For Them: oof that's tough... From a Crowded Wound or maybe even Firstwake? If you really played around w personal interpretation/the lyrics that is haha

✧✧✧ Locations

Where Did You Begin Their Game?: Argonian Assemblage, Windhelm (Alternative Start)

Where Are They Currently In Your Game?: Whiterun

What Are They Doing There?: Just finished attending a party held in their honor (Post Blood of Kings)

Homes?: Breezehome, Proudspire, Lakeview & Autmnwatch

# of Locations Discovered?: 274

Dungeons Cleared: 104

Misc. Quests Completed: 87

Favorite Areas and/or Locations: Falkreath / Lakewview Manor. Both areas are where Tei heads off to in order to collect their thoughts/feel some sense of calm.

✧✧✧ Main Quest

Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point?: Yes & yes

How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: It's...complicated, being thrust into the role of savior by gods of the Cult, which in turn are followed by the folk who see you lesser than them. Tei already has a dislike towards the Divines, this doesn't really help lol

Main Quests Completed: 21

Where Are They In The Main Story Line: Alduin's dead, currently trying to ignore the Civil War as long as they can before the Empire forces its hand into forcing them to join their ranks

Dragon Souls Absorbed: In total overall? 147. The amount currently stored in Tei? 45

Words of Power Learned: 64

Shouts Mastered: 21

Favorite Shout: Firebreath / Dragonrend

✧✧✧ Combat

Most Used Weapon(s): Daedric war axe OR Dragonbone battle axe. Tei technically has both on them at all times during adventuring, alongside a shield, so which they used depends on the situation/which they grab fastest.

Combat Style: Two/One-handed tank. Main tactic is to rush in, cause as much damage/chaos as possible to shake up the opponent, & clean up what the ranged attackers of the party (usually Rumarin, Inigo and/or Lucien) weren't able to deal with.

Armor Type / Level In It: HEAVY ARMOR BABYYYYY (Level 100 + 35 extra points via enchantments)

# of Training Sessions: 99 in-game, lore wise its a lot of self-teaching/keeping their skills learned from Hammerfell sharp. Some of these are magic but lore-wise this doesn't happen cus Tei is not a magic user, save for shouts. I just did those in-game for exp OR so I can help Lucien raise his magic skills :'D

Who Taught Them?: In-game?? Fuuuck so many npcs. Lore-wise? They learned this from their schooling in Hammerfell, going off the canon-lore that it's p much expected for everyone to have a grasp on combat & weaponry! Though they did learn a few things from Kaidan & Anum-La.

Favorite Enemy Type: Dragons! Despite the fact Tei does not have the best magic resistance, it's one hell of a challenge they love to meet.

Least Favorite Enemy Type: Automatons, because of a bad experience with them as a child. Also Undead, because they were raised not to disturb them & it just feels so wrong having to fight them/go into tombs.

People Killed: 945

Animals Killed: 749 (Hunterborn makes hunting fun lol)

Undead Killed: 766

Automatons Killed: 105

Daedra Killed: 136

✧✧✧ Magic

Favorite School(s): None, actually. Destruction is okay though....they guess

Most Used Spell(s): Firebreath or Dragon Aspect. Tei doesn't consider shouts spells though. It's totally different guys shut up they ain't no smelly mage gods

Spells Learned: 9 in-game, mainly due to the spells you're kinda forced to learn for some quests/the ones you automatically know

Items Enchanted: 19 (Tei technically doesn't enchant, and wont next playthrough for sure I wont give in this time >:[ )

College of Winterhold Quests Completed: 8

Where Are They At In The Questline?: Main quest is done bcus i dont like seeing unfinished quests in my journal lmao. Tei's involvement is completely different from canon though in my take. Moreso was hired as a guard for the expedition & was, unwillingly, dragged into the rest of the mess. Is not offered the Archmage position, that went straight to Tolfdir.

Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.): As they get older, they tolerate the guild & magic users more n more, BUT, Tei grew up in an environment that frowns upon the practice of magic, & it shows. They mainly mistrust necromancers/illusionists & still hold onto that belief that reliance on magic, especially for combat, is a weakness.

Bold words for someone with shit magic resistance.

✧✧✧ Crime

Current Gold: 10,640

How Did They Acquire Their Gold?: Odd jobs, selling a lot of the items they made/harvested from smithing & hunting (jewelers are their go-to hirers bcus Tei is great at getting things like ivory), Dwemer ruin diving (they refuse to loot the tombs), also yknow....being part of the Dark Brotherhood helps

Largest Bounty On Their Head: 11,240

For...?: Unfortunately they did not stand down when they were being falsely accused of murder in Markarth. First time Tei called down dragons (Sahrotaar, specifically, Tei managed to get command of Miraak's dragons post-Dragonborn) to absolutely smite some fools.

Current Bounty: None! They're good at not getting caught/threatening and/or bribing guards. :)

Locks Picked: 15 i think?

Jail Time: 1, Cidhna Mine

Jail Escapes: 1, teamed up w the Forsworn lol

Murders: 28

Assaults: 307....In their defense people keep getting in their way during dragon attacks

Items Stolen: 37, most of them from the nobles of Windhelm

Thieves Guild Quests Completed: N/A (wont be doing this storyline unless i cant find a mod that'll let me get the shouts locked behind it)

Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: 20

Where Are They At In Those Questlines?: DB is completed main arc wise!

✧✧✧ Relationships

Relationship Status: Married to two lovely fellas

Current Companions: atm? none

Housecarls: Lydia & Rayya

Friends (outside of party): Zora Fair-Child, Inigo, Lucien, Anum-La, Morndas, Aela the Huntress, Nazir, Babette, Scouts-Many-Marshes, Isobel, Madesi

Children: Khash, Chases-Starlight, Ram-Ku. (going of where Tei is now - Otero & Mei come around later on in Tei's story!)

Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan & Rumarin.

Sexual Orientation:

GAY

✧✧✧ Religion

Pantheon: Yokudan, with a hint of Hircine worship in there

Patron Deity(ies): From the Yokudan pantheon: Tei mainly views HoonDing as their main patron, but also prays to/pays respect to Satakal.

They are also Hircine's champion.

Daedric Quests Completed: 3 (Hircine, Vile, Dagon - the last Tei didn't really help, moreso pissed off)

Aedric Quests Completed: 1 if you count the whole Alduin thing I guess?

How Devout Are They?: Tei is rather devout, esp to their Yokudan patrons, praying or making offerings daily. They aren't the type to really push it in your face though, but have no issues answering questions one might have.

How Do They Feel About Talos Worship?: Deep down they acknowledge & admit trying to ban worship is terrible, but....Tei also lets their bias/experience with Windhelm, the Stormcloaks & especially Ulfric kinda cloud over this. If the Nords want their old ways so damn much, why fight for a divine from the Imperial Cult? Why not go back to the actual old ways? No, this isn't about worship, not to the men leading this so-called rebellion, they just needed something other than their racist bullshit to fool the common man into throwing their lives away for the nobles sitting comfortable in their thrones.

Also during their whole thing of getting into their role of dragonborn, they get a bonus 'fuck this dude actually' towards Talos, Ysmir, whatever the fuck he calls himself. (tldr; it sucks but good luck hearing Tei say that fully)

✧✧✧ Politics

Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?: Neither, ask them again they will punch you for the love of Ruptga they get asked that every time they enter Whiterun.

Stormcloaks or Imperials?: Also neither, Tei hates em both n think they can all choke. Unfortunately they were forced to join the latter due to, yknow, calling dragons & causing massive damage in Imperial territories during isolated fits of rage and the group being more aggressive in wanting something in return for "letting it slide"....oops

Opinion on the Thalmor?: Oh absolutely despises them, they loudly complained having to work with them during the CW & would go out their way to disrupt their plans/piss them off. Sneaking was an option they did not take during the Embassy quest, if it helps paint the picture.

Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak?: Tei doens't say they hate people often...but they sure as hell hate Ulfric. Again, their experience in Windhelm added to this heavily, how both the Dunmer & Argonians were treated like shit, with no help whatsoever from the Jarl or guards when the local Nords targeted them. It's still up in the air if I keep this for Tei's story, but I have it where they knew Chases-Starlight's parents, who were killed. When Tei went up & demanded justice/an investigation, only to be brushed off because it "wasn't a priority," it completely destroyed what little empathy or hope they had left for Windhelm as a whole.

Opinion of The Empire?: Cowards too weak to continue fighting back against the Thalmor, in their opinion, & holds these views they grew up with even when being strong-armed into aiding them. If anything they're at least attempting to use their influence to hint towards a rebellion against the Thalmor, but the Empire could also full-on dissolve & they could give less of a shit.

Civil War Quests Completed: 0

✧✧✧ Personal

How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug?: The whole event of Blood of Kings has fucked with their head, to say the least. It's the starting point of Tei's eventual spiral. So uh...yeah they're not sure how they're doing everything they knew about reality was kinda challenged & they don't rlly have anyone to talk to about it so its cool, its fine, its all good.

A nap is probably needed, not sure about a hug theough they're super flinchy rn

Days Past In Game: 196

Hours of Sleep: 846

Food Items Consumed: 1833

How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: Tei actually is an older character from the 360 days so uh...maybe 5 at most? This playthrough & their S:EC one coming up when the mod releases being the main ones focusing on their story

Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: Alright I would say! I just been stepping away from Skyrim more often lately to avoid burning out from it

Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Ordinator, Wintersun Faiths, Immersive Armors, Sarcastic Player Dialogue, 3DNPC, Inigo, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan 2, Khash the Argonian, Alternative Start, Leviathan Animations, Beast Race Body Paints, Beast HHBB, Apocalypse Magic, Deadly Dragons, Growl: Werewolf Overhaul, Pronouns, uhhh....idk what else without actually listing my current modlist lmao

----

And that's it for Tei! Anyone who wants to do this go on ahead!

#tes v #tes v skyrim #last dragonborn #ldb oc #jeerteiperdes #tes #skyrimblogging #oc meme #long post #character meme #finished this just in time for me to start registering for my online courses neato #also its almost 12am so if you notice any misgendering of tei (calling them he) lmk im tired haha

[procrastinationonvacation]

I hope your exams go well! I have some right now and I have done approximately 45 minutes max of voluntary revision :/

As for the asks, can you please tell more about Daeron? You mentioned (way back in the Daemags post) that you head canon him as a son of Melian and Thingol and I love that idea if you would like to run with it?

- Captain Anon

Hi!! Yessssss! And yeah same for the not really studying thing (does it show in my activity on here?) 

Ok three primary arguments for him being their son: 1. Eldritch vibessssss 2. an interesting character that way (as opposed to the other where it’s mostly just snape-ey and weird) 3. the ULTIMATE middle child.

Eldritch vibes:  The world is made of music and Daeron is the foremost singer/ musician in the world. That tops both Luthien and Maglor (bringing up Luthien because we all know the shit she pulled with the Song).  And I imagine that power is even more magnified in Doriath: Daeron would sing and the forest would stop. Just to listen. The same way Thingol fell asleep for however long from Malians enchantment, you could die listening to Daeron’s music and your corpse would keep on listening. Just- super scary eldritch children, ok? Not to mention the classic teeth a little too long, eyes a little too bright, voice a little more musical with every word is sculpted in the air. Thank you and good night.

-

Story line: Ok so one of the reasons I like the siblings is because all the other siblings seem to get along so well, even if they dont particularly like each other all that much. And also before I continue this, just fair warning it’s practically a whole ass AU.

We start of this au/canon/whatever the hell im saying and the two siblings are really close, and (in part to being weird eldritch childs and in part because they actually get along) spend almost their time together.

This continues as they grow older, certainly they make other friends as they go into their separate roles in the kingdom, but mostly it’s those two together. In the forest singing.

I think Beren shows up, and I mean at first they ran away because um scary? but obvs Luthien gets over that really fast, Daeron not so much. They’ve been raised in an isolationist country, I feel like he’s not to happy with the *new person.*

And hey I get to mirror that Maia obsessiveness I was chatting about for Annatar and Melian when I say Daeron is that way about Luthien. Which. Creepy. but still much less creepy in my opinion than as a random courtier, ya know?

Daeron makes bad decisions pt 1:  he spies on the couple for Thingol because a)weird outsider mortal is sketchy, and Daeron Does Not Like and b) no that’s his sister, who’s supposed to hangout with him, not Beren. So yeah, maybe the idea that beren is Dangerous is just a justification of that but really, thats no one’s buissiness but daeron’s.

Daeron makes bad decisions pt 2: Ok listen telling Thingol Luthien was gonna go to rescue Beren is actually a decision I could get behind. Cause.um. deadly quest designed to get people killed is not for siblings. Still, over all bad idea.

Daeron is helpful: on try 2 it’s like ok fine. Go be with Beren.

Luthien is lost and Daeron goes for a hike pt 1: Ok i briefly mentioned this, but I think at some point he realized he had to return to Doriath, and then just… decided not to face a home that was missing his sister and also held his parents and whatever they were going through.

Luthien is lost and Daeron goes for a hike pt 2: I think when he hears Luthien’s dead it’s really upsetting, and that’s the point at which he actually departs from the areas of the forest he knew.

Anyways, I find the version of the story interesting because if he really *did* intentionally loose himself in the dark forests/places of the world, that’s 300 years and the repeated collapse of his country (which like… more guilt). It reminds me a lot of maglor, just sans all the murdering, which is why I think Daemags is an interesting ship.

-

Middle child:  I dont think I need to explain this one. His other siblings (Luthien and Turin) get whole books on them. They are followed by the narrative to their death and beyond. Daeron runs off to the forest and is never Once mentioned again. Iconic.

-

Also, the unfortunate truth is I don’t have permission to buy the not lotr tolkien books. And since my family’s very paranoid about covid, I can’t check out physical books from the library... so long story short if my canon in any of my posts is a little wack that’s why.

Thanks so much for the ask!!! Have a great day <3

#thanks for the ask!! #They are very fun #even it i didn't get to it right away #the kale thing was just...possesing me so i did it out of order #but I really appreciate ur asks and ily #as always lemme know if I forgot canon/didn't follow your prompt/ didn't write this to your liking #Captain anon

[psnowflake]

Charades and a Drink (A Post-Frozen 2 ficlet)

Wrote this cause I really miss writing about fluff/angst. Doesn’t really have anything to do with my other fic. Just had the urge to write this prompt. Hope you guys enjoy it. May continue it. Idk. Link for the fic on ffn is here.

Charades.

This was the third round in a row where she had failed to obtain any points for her and Anna's team. She was bad at this game. She knew it. And seriously, three bouts in a row with no progress? She couldn't quite believe it herself.

But it wasn't her fault that she was so...distracted. It wasn't quite like last time when there was a melodious voice persistently invading her thoughts. This time it was something far more down to earth.

Kristoff was being more touchy with Anna than usual.

Not that it bothered her.

They were engaged now. It would make perfect sense if he wanted to be more forward.

It was just…

Ever since she returned from the enchanted forest earlier that morning, she couldn't help but focus on these details in their interactions.

And if she had to be perfectly honest, it made her feel...sad?

Jealous even?

She didn't quite understand it herself.

"Snow?! This one was so easy! It's basically the same thing as ice!" Anna complained as she reviewed the word that Elsa had been struggling with the entire round.

Anna wasn't mad at Elsa per se. She was just over competitive, and frankly she was tired of Olaf and Kristoff always winning. She really wanted to win at least once tonight.

"I'm sorry." Elsa apologized in embarrassment. "Maybe you should play without me. I'm really not good at these kinds of games. I'm sure one of the servants would be happy to join you if you asked."

"Elsa wait-"

"It's really not a big deal, Anna." She assured the younger girl. "I think you would have a lot more fun playing with Kai. I'll go get him real quick."

Elsa began heading for the door to go fetch the said servant, but not before Anna lunged off the couch to grab a hold of her arm.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to yell. I really don't care about winning or not. Just...please don't leave me." Anna wrapped her arms around her waist and hugged her tightly, and for a second Elsa swore she heard the younger girl whimper.

"I...okay, I won't leave." Elsa responded while patting the younger girl's head, but was then shocked to find that Anna really was crying. She swallowed suddenly, not sure what had gotten into the other girl, but she reached down to cup her sister's cheeks and caressed them softly.

"Hey." She said, bringing Anna's face close to hers so that their foreheads were touching. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Anna hiccuped and nodded, burying herself again into Elsa's chest.

Kristoff looked back and forth between the two of them.

"We'll give you two some alone time. Come on, guys." Kristoff got up and signaled for Sven and Olaf to follow.

"Wait...are you sure?" Elsa asked. "I didn't mean to take you guys away from your game…" She said guiltily.

"It's fine, Elsa. You two should really have the rest of the night to yourselves. Isn't that right, Olaf?"

"Yup! Me and Elsa definitely need some alone time together." The snowman joked, inching away cheekily from the ice harvester.

"Not quite on the mark there buddy." Kristoff said before dragging Olaf out of the room with him. The door shut behind them, and Elsa was left in the silence with Anna still cuddled up against her.

"Anna?" She rubbed the top of the girl's head gently.

"I missed you."

Elsa smiled softly at that. "I missed you too, sis."

It had merely been two weeks since she had decided to live away from the castle. Realistically, it shouldn't have been anything worth crying over, and it certainly paled in comparison to how long they had been apart from before.

But Elsa would be lying if she said she didn't miss home.

Some nights she found herself crying herself to sleep.

The living conditions had been rough. She wasn't used to not having servants around at all times, and not having meals prepared for her at the earliest convenience. It was different, and the comforting lifestyle that she had grown accustomed to was no longer present.

But the reason she had cried wasn't because of the change in living standards. Those factors were trivial, things she could adapt to, get used to.

The reason she had cried...it was because she didn't have moments like this anymore.

Moments with Anna.

It made more of a difference to her than she was willing to admit.

Can I really keep doing this?

She wrapped her arms tight around Anna, suddenly struck with the need to cheer up the younger girl's spirits as soon as possible.

"Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" Elsa proposed.

Anna looked up at her gratefully and nodded.

-----------------------

She wondered if it was really okay to be drinking wine at this hour, and in all honesty, she had never seen Anna drink before. Whether the younger girl was a lightweight remained an absolute mystery to her.

But Anna had proposed that they ask for a bottle. It was her first time back after all. And they were having such a good time in their room; sharing stories, making jokes, reminiscing on the past, Elsa didn't have the heart to reject her beloved sister's request.

So here they were now. Merely on their second glass, and Elsa was already starting to see the alcohol take effect on her poor lightweight Anna.

"Too much to drink? Already?" Elsa teased.

Anna pouted, her face flushed red, from the alcohol or embarrassment, Elsa couldn't tell anymore. "Jus because your perfect at everything, doesn't mean I a-am."

Elsa smiled softly. "I'm far from perfect, sis."

"You're perfect to me." Anna said before grabbing Elsa's waist from behind and cuddling up against her back.

Elsa chuckled, more or less endeared by the drunk display of affection.

"Well you should definitely work on that tolerance. It wouldn't be proper for a queen to act like this at formal occasions. You never know when other dignitaries will ask for a toast." She joked. Mostly.

Anna was quiet and still. Not responding to what she had said in the slightest.

Did she fall asleep?

"Anna?"

"I don't want to be queen."

It was so quiet, barely above a whisper that Elsa almost didn't make it out. But Anna's attitude had changed almost entirely from their previous exchange.

"What do you-"

"I don't want to be queen." She repeated.

Elsa blinked, taken aback, and then laughed softly, turning around and taking Anna's hand into her own. "I think you've had enough to drink for the night. All that wine has you thinking out of sorts."

But Anna wouldn't back down apparently, not after opening up as much as she had. Before Elsa had time to react, Anna was pushing Elsa onto the floor so that she was on top.

Elsa's heart leapt into her throat at their position. "Anna-"

She felt Anna's hands come down to caress both sides of her face, gently, as if she were an art sculpture that could break at a moment's notice. She was so close, their noses almost touching, and Elsa could clearly make out the precise shade of teal in Anna's eyes. She was suddenly filled with a strange desire to close the distance between them in some way.

But Anna was crying again, silently, tears streaking down her cheeks to eventually fall onto her own pale skin. Elsa could do nothing but remain silent and watch, praying that the tears weren't there because of her.

But that was unlikely.

"Why did you push me away?"

Elsa's eyes went wide.

"What?"

"You said we would be together didn't you? So why...why do you still feel so far away?"

The question struck deep within her soul, forcing Elsa to confront the issue that she herself had been admittedly running away from.

Why was she always running?

Why was Anna always crying?

Strangely enough, she found herself trying to answer Anna's question. Maybe the wine was starting to get to her too.

"I-I dont know." She admitted. "I thought that you deserved it. To be queen, I mean. And...you just got engaged. I thought it was the right timing for something like this."

"And...and I'm the fifth spirit." She continued half heartedly. "I should be out there...in the forest. That's where I belong."

Anna stared at her sternly.

"Do you really believe that?"

Did she?

Of course not. But it was something that she had lied about before, and it would've been better if she just lied about it again.

Yet for some odd reason, she couldn't bring herself to say it this time.

"I-"

"Do you love me?"

What?

"O-of course I do."

Anna leaned in close, to the point where Elsa could feel the younger girl's breath fanning over her cheeks.

Her heart stopped at Anna's next words.

"Do you want to be with me?"

Elsa found herself trapped under Anna's earnest gaze. Yet her mind was clear, and the answer held there was without a doubt how she really felt.

She nodded.

"Then stay…" Anna whispered. "Stay with me Elsa."

"Because I can't live another day without you."

A heartbeat.

And then...

Anna inched forward and kissed her.

Elsa was frozen. Shocked.

But to her own growing surprise, a single thought dominated in her conscience.

Her lips are warm.

Slowly but surely…

Elsa kissed back.

A minute passed before they broke away together. Anna leaned back, staring into Elsa's eyes. Nothing was said between them, and nothing needed to be in that moment, until Anna finally brought her head down and rested it against the older girl's chest.

Elsa's heart was beating rapidly. Faster than she had ever experienced before. Faster than she probably wanted.

Words were threatening to leave her lips, and she wanted so badly to just let herself be open.

So badly for once in her life to put her guard down.

And so she did.

"I love you, Anna." She choked out tearfully. "So much that it scares me. I don't know what to do anymore." She admitted.

Anna remained silent, and so Elsa continued.

"But I do know that whatever happens, I want to be together with you. I should've never pushed you away…"

"And I'm sorry."

"Will you forgive me?"

Elsa waited for a response, but again Anna said nothing.

Was Anna still mad at her?

But then she heard it, a deep rhythmic breathing, serene, puffing gently against her chest.

Anna had fallen asleep.

Elsa stared, mouth agape at the resting form of her sister. Had she been talking to herself? And for how long? Embarrassment flooded her cheeks to a dark shade of red.

She really is a lightweight.

Steering herself, Elsa gathered Anna into her arms from the floor and gently brought her to her bed, pulling back the sheets, and tucking the younger girl in.

She sat there next to her. Her thoughts to herself, and her mind simply trying to wrap around everything that had happened in the past hour. Eventually, she laid down next to Anna and stared up at the ceiling.

Her tiredness got the better of her, and Elsa found her eyes slowly shutting, submitting to the gentle lull of sleep.

But moments before sleep consumed her, a thought made its way to the forefront of her mind.

The truth.

I want to kiss her again.

-----------------------

Elsa found Anna the next morning in the dining hall.

"Morning Els!" Anna smiled cheerfully.

"M-morning." Elsa replied shyly. She wasn't exactly sure what to expect from this conversation, but Anna's cheerfulness must've meant that things were okay right? She decided to go along with it. "I'm surprised to see you awake before me for once."

"I know right. I must've gone to bed really early last night."

Anna's words gave her pause.

"Y-you don't remember?" Elsa asked.

"Remember what?" Elsa's shocked expression made Anna gasp in realization. "Oh no. Did I drink again?"

"Y-yeah…"

"Oh god, I didn't do anything stupid did I?" Anna laughed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry if I did, I never remember anything after I drink. I really need to stay away from the wine."

"Nothing happened." Elsa lied. "I just...I'm surprised that you don't remember anything…"

Surprised was selling it short.

Disappointed.

Heartbroken.

Anna must've noticed her change in expression. "Elsa? You okay?"

She really wasn't okay.

She was surprised herself, just how disappointed she felt.

What did you expect? That something would come out of this?

Of course she wouldn't remember. She was drunk for Christ's sake.

Why would you get this excited from an accidental kiss with your sister?

You're sick.

There's something wrong with you.

Her inner thoughts tormented her, to the point where she had the immediate urge to cry, but on the outside she forced a thin smile, an act that she had practiced for years to a near perfection.

Elsa hated doing it.

She absolutely hated lying to Anna.

"I'm fine."

But old habits died hard.

Especially when you were in love with your sister.

-----------------------

"Anna!"

Kristoff found her in the halls of the castle. She had just returned from seeing Elsa off at the docks.

"Did Elsa already leave?" Kristoff asked.

"Mhm. I just saw her off."

"Ah bummer. Wish I could've said bye to her at least."

"It's okay." She said cheerfully. "She'll be back before you know it."

Wistfully, she turned her attention to the window, staring out at the fjord, wondering if she could see Elsa riding on Nokk from all the way up here.

"You miss her already, don't you?"

"Hm?" Anna perked up. "I'm okay. I mean I have you here after all!"

Kristoff smiled at the gesture, and leaned down to capture Anna's lips in a kiss.

They stayed that way until Anna broke away first. She smiled politely up at him afterwards.

"I have some work I need to get done. I'll meet up with you later, okay?"

Kristoff nodded, and she made her way around the corner of the halls where she wouldn't be seen.

Once she was out of sight she pressed her back against the wall and fell to the floor.

She tried to forget it. If she could lie to Elsa about it, then surely she could lie to herself.

But love wasn't something so easily forgotten.

Throughout the entirety of her kiss with Kristoff, she had only thought of one thing.

She wanted to kiss Elsa again.

#elsanna #elsanna fanfiction #elsanna ficlet #frozen #frozen 2 #idk

[snow-wind-and-all-we-will-find]

Hi! My names arthur and im working on improving my word and building my story, which currently has no name haha! I have a myriad of characters who ill try to list out and give brief descriptions of, aether is technically my main character and some of the characters who are up for question are dead in canon. But you can still ask them stuff, itll just be set before death.

When asking characters questions, rememeber to include the name, their age if theres diffrent ages, i dont mind repeated questions, but if you see the question try not to ask it again lol. If you cant find it with a quick scroll just ask it, although i dont know if this blog will even get that big.

Aether

He comes in three evolutions lol, technically, theres four but idk if i would count 7 year old aether.

Ages: 13 yo - colder, hasnt gotten used to emotions, there are two to this as well, pre-rev and then post-rev 13 yo aether, remember to specify lol.

16 yo- a bit more out there, still kinda disconnected and figuring things out, a bit more defensive

22 yo- lax, hes sorta figured shit out, hes not going to go grazy, hes just gonna be chill lol.

!The gaggle Ghosts!

Yurei

Her personality is very, ehhh, becuase i havnt done work with her, and i havnt completly figured out who she is fully yet, shes 18 yo when aether is 22 yo

18 yo- pretty oblivious, somehow still a bit cynical, very nice and sometimes motherly

Kakoku

Few thousand- mean, likes to bully yurei as he huants her, lowkey a simp for yurei but he wont admit that. Kinda cynical and likes to bring others down, generally a bully

Tamashi

19- emotionless, has to be a really strong emotion to make her emote, tends to stray away from other people, likes to be alone, blunt

Gunnar

A few thousand- sweet, warm and welcoming, tries to be very fatherly and a trusted figure, is very busy most of the tiime unfortunatly though.

!The greek gang!

Argus agapov

16- unstable, pretty baby, protective over friends and family

Mythos agapov

23- whore. He also loves his family, lowkey, hes a trad wife

Perceus

15/16- timid, intrested in posiosn and acids, generally quiet, likes to eat leaves, scaredy cat

Diogenes

14- germ of phobe, kind of a brat, more just a bitch, will yell at you if he sees your hands were dirty from gardening or something while you’re walking to the sink, other than that hes fine, picky eater

Herodotus

15- disorginized, trys his best, likes to write stuff down, helps plato with his writing and grammar in general, gullible, likes record data, has a nice typewriter with tha good clicky clack

Plato

8- sweet baby boi, loves his older brother (socrates), idolizes him even, not a good idea though. He writes down everything socrates does, sometimes he imitates his brother as well.

Socrates

17- dumb of ass, also just dumb, held back a grade, feral child, bites alot of people, soft aestechic but hed stab as a warning

Heracles

30- also dumb of ass, loves cars in that ‘mah babeh’ kinda way. Hates motorcycles, he thinks they’re ugly. Chaotic but he utilizes it to be the weird and cool uncle/cousin thing

Zeus

46- too tired for this shit, is a dad, went out to get milk, jk jk, dissapeared for a hot few years, probably got captured by some gang dunno, it happens. Very serious, would make the dumbest jokes with his brothers with a straight face

Hades

50- lowkey the neglected middle child, soft goth lookin ass, loves his kid, tries his best to raise his kid, sometimes gets help from esme

Poseidon

57- proud stay at home dad, buff but does the typically wifely duties, makes sure his children get enough love, nutrience and care

Lillith

54- very active, the money maker, kinda soft, both her and her husband poseidon are so just in love with their kids, dote on them constantly, very extroverted, always makes time for her kids

Esme

51- tired of zeus’ shit, does her best to make sure no one dies, still treats mythos as her ‘little baby boy, tired mom vibes.

!the Eden gang!

Eden is a fictional country that i slapped onto the globe. It is where aether is from, technically aether is apart of the eden gang as well. Everyone here, if they have an age option, the first age option is the age they are when aether is 13, and the second will be when aether is 16 unless stated otherwise

General kyelli

49- fatherly, thinks of most of the gang as his children, calls everyone ‘son’, as a general rule. If you ask for another nickname, he will do his best. Has a bad knee, and is kinda of bad at existing physically

52+- fatherly still, loves almonds, always has a bag of almonds, dont test him. Enjoys travel, might adopt people he meets along the way, still has pains but now he sees doctors, wants to stay active

Indigo

13- sweet, optimistic, always looks on the brightside and tries to see the good in others. Little heater, understands that sometimes fighting is the only option

Akrano

16- lively, very loose and relax, can get serious when needed though, always making jokes and trying to lighten up the mood

19- a bit more, mellow. Still quite lively and childish, but with two signifigant-others you have to settle down sometimes

Ekrano

16- lively, more stern than akrano and kinda worried, but ultimatly also very loose and bright

Lilliana

16- serious, seemingly colder towards everyone, gets along great with psycho-lops, makes him new eye-patches to pass time, actually just very monotone and blank most of the time, although she does care

19- she doesnt change much, she got a bit more expressive, likes babysitting howl

Psycho-lops

16 1/2- always looks determined, actually kinda scared of conflict, likes to help out with healing though, very proficient in it as well, sounds intimidating while talking about how cute puppies and kittens are

19/20- still the same, is considering studying medicine and medical practices to become a doctor.

Bark

17- bright, incredibly lively, loves to joke around and tease and sometimes bully the others, targets aether primarily, hangs out with his brother most of the time, he can fight for himself but he likes the backup, especcially since he is kinda glass-jawed, being that hes a twig

Bite

17- quiet, intense eyes, always sounds vaugly confused when he speaks, deep voice lol, likes to train, doesnt understand barks need to tease others, likes to read to the children

20- quiet, intense eyes still, more so nervous sounding, slightly paranoid, cluastrophobic and cant stand dusty places, usually in his house or at the docks, doesnt really go anywhere else

Hanelle

17- loud, headstrong, adamant about her opinions, gets along well with bark, she tries alot to be intimidating, not a twig, but not very big, pretty friendly and sociable

!the band of pirates!

Aklea

A few hundreds of years- kinda bored seeming, loves blood, technically cannibal, but not really since he isnt human, to an extent. Despite being fine on the ocean, he gets very car sick very easily. Actually quite nice, very easily triggerd into violence, especcially by something that could be used as a good murder weapon, blood makes him jittery and more lively

Nerone

21- calm, too calm, deals with akleas bullshit wonerfully, he just stands there, blank smile on his face as aklea beats the shit outta someone, unintrested in most anything, likes to draw, but hes a much better pastry chef.

!the shakespears!

Midem(pink boi)

33- lively, loves to work with kids, very creative, likes to make things, mainly art, mainly carvings. Often make little minitures of scenes from midens writing, loves his twin, does anything it takes to fund midens intrests. Very loving to those hes close to

Miden

33- calmer by alot lmao, pretty introverted but he can hold a long conversation without becoming too drained, enjoys writing and making stories, also makes plays for fun, runs off little sleep cuase he stays up so late to write, and gets up early to write.

!gods!

Gideon

9 billion- confused boomer, loves his ‘children’, hates to be hated, always tries to help in anyway he can, despite making them, always curious into what mortals are doing, loves the universe he created and does anything he can to protect it

Merik

7 million- sore loser, does get a little salty, ultimatly bounces back and becomes a very good sport, always will adopt tactics, whatever it takes to win within the rules, keeps most all of his trophies from random feats hes done

Ventus

5 billion - calm, straightforward, tends to disregard others and do things himself, likes to sit on cliffs and watch the ocean

Kyle

Hes been around since 776 bc- very loud, lively, bright, tries his best to educate people on proper form, workout regime i intesne, doesnt allow others to take it, makes custom workout regimes for free, owns a gym, dude bro but hes nice, baby

Horo-sha

Her age technicaly is not accurate, shes like, 2 billion? Since dima was made right after her death. But since her history still lives, ima count it

5 billion but older than ventus- bitter, violent, former god of justice, fucking dead haha, hates mortals, primarily humans

Dima

Also not super accurate, hed only be a few centuries of being an active god before being sealed, but since hes technically, concious and has cognitive function hes counted

3 billion- mean lol, likes blood and gets even more violent when it starts getting messy, ‘new’ god of justice, uh, pretty bad at it like the last one, but worse, will kill over slight misdeameanors, everythings a crime smh

!misc!

Ivan

24- softspoken, from imperial russia, died young, he no longer feels his face is his own, has a mask that he likes better, has the sickness, but since he was human it killed him, can control it post mortem, is strong enough to be seen, but weak enough he can go invisible and go through solid objects.

More ocs will be added when i remember them, or create new ones, characters i dont really have built at all are not included

[ramzawrites]

ayye, im glad you like the bottle idea! id be happy to let you use the idea for a fic, go right ahead! :D

i cant tell you some stuff about c!krabs' childhood life because thatll be for a fic im planning on making, but i can tell you a couple of details!! c!krabs is obviously mexican american, similar to myself she has two mexican parents but was born in a majorly american place. she was usually sheltered from going outside of her property and engaging with too many village folk because her parents didnt want her to get smarter than them, in short they were selfish a$$hats. they always used to claim that they wanted to protect c!krabs and keep her safe, but she was pretty similar to how she was when shes older and didnt completely buy it. thats all im gonna expose about the parents cause its gonna be used for lore but i can share more information on her general life in the past! she lived in a two story house that had a small backyard that she could go in every now and again. she had a bit of freedom, sometimes she would be able to go out to the shops with one of her parents in very close proximity. they would give her a small amount of money each time and let her buy anything she wanted with that spending money, which she used on paper and pens/pencils. each time she recieved money she saved a little bit and kept the collected money inside of a box under her bed where she kept other things that she held dear. sometimes she also used to sneak out of the house at night by sliding down the roof from her window and landing on the pile of hay in the backyard and jumped the fence. she went out on the town and was fascinated by the blacksmith, the glowing metal, the way he forged such a beautiful and powerful weapon out of a stick and some ore fascinated her. she also thought the villages welder was really sick as well, the way they repaired so many different things, the sparks that flew every time they welded the metal filler rod in the imperfections was so cool to c!krabs. she was only ever able to see them every so often though, because the townspeople werent very friendly. most of the people were white americans. they werent as bad to c!krabs' parents because they helped out a lot in the village, but since c!krabs was just a child that wandered around at night, she was often ridiculed, made fun of, and discriminated because shes hispanic which was very obvious due to her tan skin, having a hard time speaking english because of being sheltered, and her accent. so she wore a cloak whenever she went out. she never really had any childhood friends other than c!tubbo and c!fundy then.

but yeah man, c!krabs is a money maker, what can i say? shes making bank!! and yeah, she can replace her iron parts! thats one of the reasons she learned how to weld and blacksmith after all! and of course this means that every now and then c!krabs would weld onto herself some super sick attatchments! sometimes when she participates in wars she welds spikes onto her iron knuckles so that her punches really hurt. (i just thought of this but what if one day c!krabs and c!george were doing a trade and just hanging out when c!george makes a really good trade to c!krabs but in return she has to weld herself a cat ear on the left side of her head and make her iron hand have a sort of padded-like look to it like a cat. she begrudgingly did it and when she showed c!george, he took a picture of her and sent it to the general messages of the server through his comm and said "GUYS KRABS ISNT PART GOLEM SHES ACTUALLY PART CAT!!!" and everyone was either confused, playfully disgusted, or laughing their a$$es off and c!krabs was just like "GEORGE WHAT THE F-CK GUYS DONT LISTEN TO HIM HES COLORBLIND")

honestly if c!quackity hadnt jumped to conclusions im sure that he and c!krabs would be super sick homies for sure. but she DOES give therapy to anyone who asks for it, no matter who it is. she would just take her weapons and splash potions of poison with her in case it was ever someone who she didnt trust like c!schlatt, which he did have quite a few appointments with her during his manburg days.

Aw man :( That’s sad about her childhood! Does she stll somehow miss her parents? Is there no contact at all? I do love though that she has been interesting in blacksmithing and iron work for a while now! If I remember correctly c!Krabs was turned into an Iron Golem Hybrid correct? I sadly can’t find the first post atm :( But if I remember correctly it is in a really sad way ironic how she loved iron works before

Yo that’s such a smart idea! Adding spikes to her knuckles etc! I’m guessing it doesn’t really hurt so it’s fine? I mean the adding parts to her body, if that hurts. But I do love her shenanigans with c!George haha, I’m sure she had problems living that down after that haha

Bit sad about c!Quackity’s and c!Krabs relationship :( Really wish the two could be friends but c!Quackity screwed that up himself sooooo, oh well

Oh that is an intersting tidbit though that c!Schlatt was in for therapy with her 👀how did she feel about that? Conflicted or like she genuinley wanted to help him, maybe even hoping that helping him would help in return the others suffering under his rule?

#Ramza chats #krabmeat #dsmpsona rant #long post

[theropoda]

3, 4, 6-8, 11, 13-17, 19-22, 26-30 uwu

WOO LAD THAT’S A LOT THANK U!!! this got long and i wrote an essay or two LOL so im putting it under a readmore!

3: Best game you’ve ever played? WEEEELLLL.......let me preface this with two things: one, i am a FAKE GAMER as in my laptop is not at all made for gaming, it’s piss poor, so a big chunk of games i’m interested in is because i watched a playthrough of them lol. i have a 3ds but only 3 games on it (animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, nintedogs & cats). second, i’m very bad at choosing favorites of things.....BUUUUT .....i choooooose, in no particular order, OFF, pigeonetics, elder scrolls oblivion, pathologic classic HD!! i’m more than likely forgetting a few though, so sorry about that

4: Worst game you’ve ever played? as i said above, cannot choose favorites, neither can i choose whatever the opposite of favorites is but...uhh, does lif even count as a game? like lif, the stupid little furry flash game i remember playing on some shady website. it was surprisingly very active with a BUNCH of people there but i kept dying like every 5 seconds....AWFUL

6: A game that’s changed you the most? WELL define Changed.....ummm aha first thing that comes to mind is OFF. it’s one of those things where you never knew you wanted something so fucking bad until you saw it--and it’s like that for me. i NEVER knew i loved that odd, surreal, colorful, “looks playful and simple in some parts but incredibly violent and unnerving in other parts” aesthetic til i played it. like aesthetically i love that game to BITS and something about it just stuck with me til the end of time.

later in life (meaning, past year or so) it changed me because it taught me a lesson about storytelling and creative endeavors. a very useful lesson. which is: things don’t really need to have a meaning. stories, art, music, writing, whatnot, while it CAN be deep and meaningful, while you CAN use it as a way to communicate with the world about all kinds of heartfelt things, it can also be...nothing, really.

once i, as usual, got ridiculously overwhelmingly sad about small things. specifically seeing other people around me come up with all kinds of deep and meaningful characters and stories, sometimes putting them into webcomics or writings of theirs, and they were all so well-thought out and detailed and what i envied most was people put a lot of themselves and their experiences into them, venting and coping through them, whilst also making these larger-than-life grandiose complex stories and worlds and so on and so forth.

it made me look at my own ideas and get mad/frustrated at how shallow they were. but then i remembered OFF and i felt better because Fun Fact, mortis ghost has a now-abandoned dA account and if you go through the comment section on his profile, he answers a lot of fan questions and he mentions several times that the game didn’t really have a “meaning”, it didn’t really have a “deeper story” or moral or anything, really. i’m paraphrasing this but i vividly remember him saying “i wanted to make a game, so i did”.

that made me feel a lot better because it made me realise that sometimes art--especially stories, in my case-- doesn’t NEED to be DEEP or have MEANING...sometimes it can just BE!!!! sometimes it really can just be all about AESTHETICS like who GIVES a shit if there’s a hidden meaning if you take the first letter of all of your characters’ names and put them backwards, sometimes all that matters is if they just VIBE with you y’know....

yume nikki is similar in this regard bc that game doesn’t have any story other than “collect egg” and yet it’s so impactful. that game doesn’t have a story or meaning it just IS........ :) GOD THATS SO LONG IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but yeah. funny violent ghostbusting baseball man is a game that changed me :)

7: A game you’ll never forget? OFF AGAIN LOL,,, it’s just so memorable because of how unique it is. visuals, soundtrack, story, everything is so memorable. unforgettable. oh god you can tell how much i love this damn game can’t you

8: Best soundtrack? yakuza 0, OFF, there is a picture (another game by mortis ghost, again composed by alias conrad coldwood who also composed OFF), pigeonetics (the entire soundtrack of which is here), jojo’s bizarre adventure all star battle and eyes of heaven, silent hill 2 & 3, undertale....probably forgetting more but all of these...earcandy

11: Hardest game you’ve played? i am a shitty gamer so this is Most games i’ve played lol!! but uhh..well you see. hardest game i remember playing as of recent is pathologic classic hd in which it’s...not only hard to understand what any character is saying at any given time lol but also, i don’t think it’s HARD it’s just...you need to focus. you REALLY need to fucking focus and pay attention in this game. so i wouldn’t say its HARD, but i’m only putting this here bc it’s in recent memory.

i say recent memory because the true answer is susceptible to “yeah, but now you’re older, it must not be so hard.” as in if i played it now i think i’d have a way easier time. but when i was around....10-12 years old i had several ps3 video game adaptations of animated movies and i had SUCH a fucking hard time with them. g-force, bolt and up in particular were fucking HARD. like genuinely, the hardest time i had EVER had in my live playing video games is tied to these three fucking games. g-force and bolt ESPECIALLY. one particular level in bolt took both me AND my sister around a year to fucking finish.

again, i was baby, so i bet i’d have a much easier time with them now that i’m 17. but for now, in my experience, bolt and g-force for the ps3 were harder than pathologic classic. i think icepick lodge should take a few notes for them for pathologic 2.

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? STREETS OF KAMUROCHO...i spent the entire day of its release anticipating its launch lol

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? hmm..most games i like and know about do have voice acting so i dunno....i guess it would’ve been kind of cool if morrowind had like, full proper voice acting. but i can understand why it only voice acted things like greetings and battle insults because GOD that game is SO...complicated...and as a result, the conversations are so lengthy and text-full. playing morrowind is really like a goddamn book! if it was voice acted i’m sure all that information would have to be shortened bc i know no one is going to fucking voice act two whole paragraphs

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? pigeonetics and yakuza in which instead of being about the criminal underworld it’s about shady and unethical pigeon clubs, breeding, racing, etc etc...a lot of illegal shit does happen in the world of pigeons especially when it comes to racing; prized racers have been kidnapped and held for ransom before. and then there’s Avian Cucking: The Sport, where people breed the sexiest pigeons (horseman thief pouters), release them outside to seduce other people’s sexy pigeons, and bring them back and keep ‘em, drama ensues. will kiryu ever escape his past as a professional pigeon-napper, and find solace in his new life as a pigeon hobbyist? find out now by playing YACOOZA......

JOKES ASIDES i don’t know i really don’t....umm, pigeonetics and animal crossing somehow?? :O... like, instead of managing your own town it’s managing your own loft!...orrrr, the jojo games (all star battle & eyes of heaven) with yakuza, because i think they’re somewhat similar because they’re both haha Wacky Silly AND serious over the top fighty-fighting.....or maybe a crossover with OFF and discover my body, which, despite being an incredibly short and obscure indie game i still love to bits for what it’s worth. WAIT ANIMAL CROSSING AND MINECRAFT THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD OH MY GOD

16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game? i can’t think of any character i like, HATE...with a burning passion.. there are a few i dislike or have a complicated relationship with though.. i’m not interested in the series anymore but ouma from drv3...i’ll admit that he is a bit fun sometimes, especially in the very early beginning he’s a likeable brat but as the game progresses he becomes more irritating than anything and i have an issue with him in regards to writing, despite the fact that i have never been awake in any english class ever lol. it’s too long to put in this already long post but i’ll keep it at that. if you like him, well, good for you for finding joy in something i couldn’t! but he just doesn’t do it for me.

AH I JUST REMEMBERED....MINE......FROM YAKUZA 3....maybe i’d change my mind if i watched a playthrough of y3 again, because i think you always absorb something better on your second watch (tho i honestly Dont have the energy to do that all over again, the yakuza games are too fucking long), but i really hate his writing. spoilers for y3 but, i think mine’s writing, alongside other things in the game, were super messy...and a big part of why i hate him is that not only is he one of those “could’ve had great potential but fell flat” sorta guys but also his love for daigo is seen as some fans as good gay rep and i?????/.............um....WELL let’s just say that, i think people nowadays will see any gay character ever in any circumstance and say it’s good gay rep just based off the fact that A Gay Character exists....he was Not, good gay rep imo....he was not, let alone, Good. .........

17: What game do you never tell people you play? can’t think of any games i wouldn’t tell people i play.. idk exactly what this question’s asking. does it mean what game you don’t tell ppl you play bc you’re embarrassed about it...? i’m not very embarrassed by any of them. the only thing that comes close, i guess, is uhh lioden and wolvden. i’ve only interacted with those communities a LITTLE TINY WEE BIT, yet of what i’ve seen it’s a goddamn dumpster fire and i’d never want to be associated with them lol

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival? i’m well aware it’ll never happen and that it’s more a wet dream than anything but...PT/silent hills..... on a more realistic/”could happen” note, PIGEONETICS!!!! SERIOUSLY, it’s an amazing game about amazing animals and it teaches genetics in a very simplified and efficient way!! genetics is SO hard for me to understand, i fucking hated studying it but this game really helped me understand how it works AND its super engaging and interesting!! HOWEVER, of all the pigeon genes we know of, only a handful were seen in pigeonetics and i’d LOVE a sequel that employs new game mechanics AND new genes!! i wanna learn about bronze and stencil genes! i wanna learn about phenotypes like grizzled and pied!!! genes like sooty and dirty!!! @ UNIVERSITY OF UTAH GENETICS DEPARTMENT PLEASE IM BEGIGNG YOU

20: What was the first video game you ever played? earliest memories of Gaming involves me at my aunt’s house playing two games: super mario brothers and some kind of trapeze game. i don’t remember anything else though

21: How old were you when you first played a video game? i can’t remember but i must’ve been REAL tiny.... 6-9 years, maybe??

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? immerse myself meaning go into their world...? huh....on one hand i’d like to go in the world of yakuza 0 to play in the arcades and do whore related activities but i’d also love to go into the world of animal crossing (and i’m pretty sure i’d be some sort of generic dromaeosaurid in that game!!) and shop, chat with villagers, do chores for them, go fishing, bug hunting, eat delicious fucking food like the apples mangos peaches cherries etc etc.....OH AND FOSSIL HUNTING THAT’S THE BEST PART!! though it would definetly be a little weird, to be a little dinosaur and finding a fossil of a...little dinosaur....i guess the non-sentient species went extinct and the dinosaur i am is some kind of, descendant of a sapient non-avian dinosaur that survived the k-pg extinction event...oh but who cares all i want is a cool little ambulocetus fossil or something. and some cherry pie :)

26: Handheld or console? my old ps3 just went kaput one day years ago so i haven’t used it in years so i can’t compare well... but i’d say handheld, because it lets me like DO stuff more...would love to get a console one day, a ps4 maybe but i’m kinda worried it’ll make me stay in one room all day wasting away my time when there’s other stuff i can do, y’know? but something handheld like my 3ds, on the other hand...i can do stuff with it. i can take it to my room and play it between breaks i take as i clean the room and fold my clothes, i can watch something on the tv and play the game during ad breaks, i can take it outside too if it has charge to last me a while! so....handheld i guess

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? yakuza 0 and undertale in particular have ALMOST made me fucking bawl with many of its moments....yakuza 0 especially, after that Fucking Ending i had trouble sleeping because oh my fucking god. video game people SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28: Which character’s clothes do you wish you owned the most?

29:  Which is more important, gameplay or story? HMMM....well, if i were to play a game with a shitty story but really good and fun gameplay i’d probably continue playing it for the gameplay. but if i played a game with shitty gameplay but an interesting story, there is a chance i’d play it more for the sake of the story but also i might just quite and see the rest of the story on youtube or something. i’m more likely to go through a boring story for fun gameplay than go through boring gameplay for an interesting story, so i guess gameplay is more important to me....that is, WHEN i actually own and play a game as opposed to when i just watch someone play a game because i don’t own the game but wanna know abt the story lol

30: A game that hasn’t been localized in your country that you think should be localized? i have no idea how video game localization really works....but i assume localizing a game in india would mean something like, removing content according to cultural norm and also somehow translating it into the 22 official languages..? or just two or three language if it’s tied to a particular state, which seems way more doable. i honestly have no idea? i’ve never interacted w the indian gaming community that much to be honest, all i know of it is of the video games i’ve seen sold in some game stores and a few whispers about like solid snake or whoever from my school’s cafeteria....the most popular games here, to my knowledge, are those very streamable games like fortnite and PUBG and your call of duties and whatnot. those generic shooters. and even then, that honestly isn’t the “indian” gaming community bc this country is so FUCKHUGE, it’s just tamil nadu. one state.

soooo, according to what little i know of gaming interests in where i live, i don’t think any of the games i like should be localized here bc i don’t really think there’s an audience for it as far as i can tell :( maybe animal crossing? it’s a fun little games for all ages and i think it has a chance of becoming popular here, so maybe that is worth a shot! but i can’t think of any other game that i like that really has an audience here (other than Me lol)

#asks #stommevrouw #THANK U EVIE THIS WAS SO FUNNNNNNN #WOOF haha this made me tired #im probably hitting the bed now! thank u!!

[mithranqueersmusings]

Before This Dance Is Through V

Chapter: 5/16

Rating: M (Smut Warning)

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Despite what John had suggested, Ringo didn't go back to The Helter Skelter the following week; he'd considered it when John sent him yet another late night text but ultimately decided it wasn't the best idea. Spike had been playing on his mind daily and Ringo wasn't sure he was prepared to face him again. Instead he focused on his drumming and searched for a few more students to teach, which were fairly easy to find. Usually Ringo enjoyed his time off, he understood he was lucky that he didn't have to work a 9-5 job just to get by, but recently he wanted his fill his time up as much as possible, to distract himself.

One of his new students seemed incredibly interested in him, they'd spent an hour just chatting in his living room before they'd even moved over to the drum kit. Ringo wasn't too fussed, he was getting paid by the hour so wasting time was beneficial to him but he didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression. He was a little bit older and attractive enough but Ringo simply wasn't interested.

"Why didn't you just go for it?" John had asked him when they next met up.

"I dunno..." Ringo mumbled, but a part of him knew very well.

He'd given the guy another lesson since then and it became clear that the guy's interest in him wasn't going away any time soon. Ringo felt bad about the whole thing, wasn't he just doing exactly what Spike was doing to him? He tried to act as professional as possible the second time around in attempt to get the guy to back off, considering he hadn't heard from him since he was hoping it had worked. What was wrong with him? Was he really going to make himself suffer like this all because of one guy? And not just any guy, a stripper who had shown absolutely no interest in him at all. It was ridiculous, he kept telling himself, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to get over Spike, he would still think about him every day without fail. Trying to distract himself with clients had been working somewhat, but it had been difficult, especially when his best friend was John Lennon.

       youre gonna love me

The text came through when Ringo was sat in a café getting some lunch. He'd finished with one of his younger students, a sweet girl who's parents had tried to convince her to try a more 'ladylike' instrument but she had promised only to give up the drums if she was awful; much to her delight, and Ringo's for being able to prove the stereotypical parents wrong, she was pretty good. Seeing her always put Ringo in a good mood, the parents mostly stayed away partly due to the noise but mostly due to disappointment, which meant they could joke around together. Ringo could tell she admired him and he welcomed it gladly, one of the best things about teaching was inspiring others, at least for him it was.

        do i not already?

        well yes         but youre gonna love me EVEN more

        what have you done

        well i happened to stop by the club last night

        oh god what did you do

        wow is that how little you trust me

        can you blame me

        suppose not         ANYWAY i got talking to paulie

        surprise surprise

        do you want the good news or not???

        fine fine sorry

        AS I WAS SAYING i was talking to paulie         and he told me that your special little someone has an onlyfans account

        first of all fuck you for calling him that         second of all wtf is onlyfans

        oh sorry i didnt realise you werent living in the 21st century

        ......         care to grace me with your knowledge?

        basically its a website where you can post exclusive stuff for ONLY FANS to see         its not a porn site or anything but its basically where people sell their nudes         MEANING spike has an account so you can totally see loads of raunchy filthy perverted pics of him

        but i have to pay?

        well weve all gotta make a living

        i can basically see him naked for free

        but this way you wont get all freaked out and embarrassed         well you will but nobody will know at least         so do you want the link or not???

Ringo paused for a few moments, he was gripping his phone tightly in both of his hands as he unblinkingly looked at John's words. If his mind was going to decide to make him suffer by enabling his intense interest in Spike, he may as well get something out of it.

        fine

        where are your manners richard??

        can i please have the link to the strippers nude photos please john please

        alright calm down         let me know if its worth while i might have a look

        idk if im even gonna look at it         paying for porn is a little dated

        treat yourself ringo         id offer to pay but im broke

        if youre broke why were you at the strip club last night?

        well SOMEONE had to go

        they really didnt

        im supporting my local economy

        i dont think thats how that works

        sure it is         anyway here you go

Ringo stared at the link for a while, his eyes even began to blur, he didn't want to risk opening it in public even though he knew there was little chance of anyone seeing. He finished his lunch in a hurry and headed home quickly, only when he was in the privacy of his bedroom did he dare open it. First he had to make an account, when he saw the screen loading up asking for an email address and password he just turned his screen off and put the phone down. This was far too much effort for something he shouldn't really have been doing in the first place. But it only took a few minutes for him to pick the phone back up and begin signing up, he used an old email as it felt less seedy that way and he didn't want to risk his name cropping up anywhere for Spike to see. Now he could load up the link properly and take a proper look at Spike's profile.

Just looking at the small profile picture was enough to startle Ringo a little, the dark eyes looking into the camera with that unreadable glimmer behind them. He was shirtless in the picture, Ringo wondered why that didn't catch his attention first, with the frame cutting off just before it showed anything too explicit. The header was a photo taken from the club, showing him in tight, leather pants and tassels on his nipples which matched the whip he held in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd spent so much time and effort trying not to think about this man, attempting to keep him out of his mind as much as possible. Ringo knew that if he went through with this all that progress would be lost, he'd be giving in to whatever strange obsession he'd developed for Spike, one that no doubt wasn't going to lead to anything good.

Ringo kept staring at the screen as though it was going to tell him what he should do. Spike's profile had no description, which wasn't very surprising, and it dashed any hope Ringo had of discovering something new about him. Right before he was about to put his phone down again, it vibrated.

        howd the wank go??

        john i dont care how long weve been friends asking how my wank was will always be weird

        youre right sorry         so how did it go???

        if you must know         i havent had a wank         i havent even paid for entry

        now whos the one being inappropriate??

        ha ha

        why havent you???

        feels weird

        oh i see         youll consume a bunch of unethical porn for free but god forbid you actually give sex workers any actual money

        you are the last person who can lecture me about unethical porn

        hey now watch yourself         ringo if you dont get a subscription I WILL

        go ahead

        and ill tell you every day what sexy sexy pictures hes posting         ill tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME i have a wank over them

        every time? i dont think youve got enough data for that

        im not joking

        neither am i         you wank A LOT

        ringooooo just buy it i swear to god         if its not worth it or you regret it or whatever ill give you the money back

        on top of the money you already owe me?

        have you always been such a capitalist

        youre not doing a very good job of convincing me

        fine         spikes cock         now are you convinced???

        maybe

        naked pictures of spike whenever and wherever you want them all for the low low price of 10 quid a month         convinced??

        fine fine         if itll shut you up

        im starting to think thats code for 'i really wanna do this but im too embarrassed to admit it'

        i hate you

        now that DEFINITELY code for 'john youre right'         anyway theres no time to be telling me how right i am all the time youve got dick pics to look at         even i wont stand in the way of a good wank         so dont bother replying to me until youve paid for that subscription young man

        im older than you

        DONT BOTHER REPLYING

Ringo let out a sigh and rested his head against the bedroom wall from where he was laying on the bed. He opened up the link again and his thumb hovered over the subscription button, why couldn't he just do it? The money wasn't an issue, it could've cost half as much or be double the price and he'd still be debating it all the same. Somehow it felt like an invasion of privacy, after all Spike hadn't told Ringo about it himself, but then again that didn't necessarily mean he didn't want Ringo to see it. After all it was like John said: everyone has to make a living somehow. Sometimes Ringo wished he could turn off that part of his brain that was so empathetic, so concerned about how everyone felt and what they were thinking. He knew that he wanted this, so why wasn't he allowing himself to have it? Ringo could see that he was being ridiculous, as he was with almost anything involving Spike, and after lying there for a while pondering and debating he decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean he got the subscription, tails that he didn't. He watched the coin spinning through the air after he flicked it upwards, then snatched it and slammed it down onto his forearm before slowly moving his hand away: it was tails. What a relief. Ringo chuckled to himself for being so foolish, settling down into his bed; it was still only around midday but he didn't have anywhere he needed to be.

So why didn't he feel relieved in the slightest?

This whole thing was getting tiring, the constant debate between what he believed he should do and what he wanted to do, and it seemed like it wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Apparently he was in this for the long run, whatever that meant, but if he was going to turn down relatively attractive guys practically throwing themselves at him, he may as well go all the way. While he was putting in his credit card information, he stopped to think around three of four times, but once he'd finished and the images became accessible to him, his brain was barely able to conjure up a coherent sentence.

"Jesus..." Ringo breathed out as his eyes flicked across the plethora of pictures loading up on his screen.

There was a lot of them, and a lot of Spike was on display. Most of them were pictures taken at the club, either from a professional photographer in the audience or photos he'd taken himself in the mirrors backstage - Ringo could even see glimpses of Paul in the background of some of them. The ones that caught Ringo's eyes the most were those that seemed to be taken in his house, these also happened to be the ones in which Spike tended to be fully naked. It was very different experience to see him like this: a static image that he'd intentionally taken of himself and posted for so many people to see, an image that couldn't look back at Ringo and make him feel that strange mixture of excitement and shame. He began scrolling down the feed which only revealed more and more enticing photos. Ringo began to feel himself hardening, he suspected it had been happening for a while now but he'd been far too distracted to notice. He felt like a teenager discovering porn for the first time, it was difficult to remind himself that this wasn't anything new. Seeing Spike naked shouldn't have excited him so much, and yet it did.

One picture in particular drew Ringo's attention: Spike was stood in front of a bathroom mirror with a loose black tie lying against his bare chest, one hand was holding a phone and the other gripping his cock. He had dark eye make up on and his hair was messy. Ringo wasn't sure exactly what it was about this photo that was so enticing but he couldn't take his eyes off it. The prominence of his collarbones, the faint curls of his dark hair, how his slim fingers wrapped around himself. Slowly Ringo slid his own hand under the waistband of his boxers as he stared at the picture. At first he hesitated, his fingers stopped right above the base. It's not like this would've been the first time he'd touched himself while thinking about Spike, it would've been far from the last he imagined, but this was different. It was more concrete, more of an admission. Nothing felt quite as real when it's only being imagined, the haziness of lust fuzzing up the mind as it so often did, but now with a very real photo of Spike in front of him - which he'd paid to see - the feeling was far more tangible, far harder to ignore.

He'd come this far, he told himself as his hand sunk lower until his fingers were running along the length of his semi-hard cock, he may as well go all the way. To begin with Ringo stayed looking at this single picture as he slowly pumped himself, but as his lust began to grow he perused through more and more pictures: Spike kneeling naked in front of a mirror with a loose cigarette hanging from his lips, lying in the bath with bubbles only just about covering his nakedness, spread out on the bed with a gag in his mouth, handcuffs forcing his slim arms behind his back with his cock throbbing. None of this was anything Ringo hadn't seen before, like most people in this day and age he'd searched through the darker corners of the internet - sometimes willingly, sometimes John was to blame - but to see Spike in such a way was like an entirely new rush. Each picture drove Ringo further and further on, at times he almost dropped his phone with how sloppy his movements were becoming. Who took these photos? Ringo figured it was best not to think about it, the possibility that Spike had a boyfriend who took all these pictures of him would've been the quickest way to kill his erection.

Ringo began moaning and cursing wantonly as he got closer and closer to his orgasm, he had to stop flicking through the pictures because he could hardly concentrate on what his other hand was doing, so he settled on a final one to help him finish; it wasn't particularly strategic but he was definitely grateful that he selected the one that he did. In it Spike was looking directly into the camera, allowing Ringo to gaze longingly into the rich brown of his eyes and how his dark lashes curled beautifully around them. He was shirtless with nothing but a necklace on, the same necklace that Ringo had seen him wearing in the record store and Ringo couldn't help feeling a sense of satisfaction that he'd seen it with his own eyes, as though it meant something. Deep down he knew that it didn't but his inebriated mind was latching onto it. The nudity in the photo was hardly interesting Ringo by this point, although it would be wrong to say that he completely ignored the flatness of his stomach or the faint shadows of his ribs beneath his pale skin, it was the personal aspect which truly affected him.

This wasn't just lust. Lust Ringo could understand, he could compartmentalise it and give into it without much shame or a second thought. If this was just lust, he would've bought the subscription without a care and touched himself looking at the nakedness of Spike's body as though it meant nothing more than a way to get off. Yet here he was on the brink of orgasm looking into another man's eyes, eyes that felt like they were looking straight back at him as though they were sharing this moment together. It wasn't hard to imagine Spike's hand in place of his own, those deep eyes watching Ringo come undone piece by piece. Ringo's hip began to stutter, his leg twitching a little as he had to drop the phone down onto his lap as his head fell back against his pillow as his orgasm approached. It wasn't the image of Spike's naked body that filled Ringo's mind as he came, it wasn't his arse or his cock or even his chest, it was his face, his voice, it was him.

Ringo lay breathless on his bed for a while, the clarity that arrived as his orgasm subsided wasn't welcome in the slightest and he was reluctant to pick his phone back up to see Spike's eyes looking at him once again. There was no use in feeling ashamed about it, no point in trying to deny it any longer: his feelings for Spike were more than a mere passing fancy, that was clear. Exactly what he was meant to do about these feelings was far from clear but that wasn't something Ringo could figure out right now with cum on his stomach and the daylight seeping through his bedroom curtains.

When he'd picked up his phone he'd closed all the apps immediately, doing his best not to catch a glimpse of what he'd been so eagerly looking at before. Just as he was about to step into the shower to clean himself off, his phone buzzed; he almost couldn't hear it over the music he was blasting out. It alerted him for a moment as though it was going to be a message from Spike stating he knew exactly what Ringo had just done - it wouldn't have really surprised him had that been the case, Spike's face almost always looked like he knew something that nobody else did - but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was John.

        sooo how did the wank go

         who knows          but on a totally unrelated note im about to get into the shower

         well before you do that i have even more good news 

         can it not wait?

         NO because you might cum just at the thought of it and then youd be wasting a good shower

         well arent you considerate          and unnecessarily graphic

         thats me          anyway im taking you to the club next tuesday whether you like it or not

         im still waiting for the good news

         well if youd let me FINISH          next week theyre doing a special event and we just have to go          youll never guess what it is

         what is it?

         guess

         you just said ill never guess

         youre no fun

         WHAT IS IT

         alright alright keep your hair on          its a crossdressing event          high heels make up probably a few wigs all that good stuff

         im still waiting for the good news

         OH COME ON youre telling me you dont want to see spike in heels and fishnets with some lovely lipstick on

Ringo gulped. It wasn't a difficult image to conjure up his mind, considering he'd been staring at photos of Spike for the past twenty minutes and it excited him to say the least. He did want to see that, very much indeed.

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