A Guide to Neopronouns
Questions, answers, usage, and helpful resources at the bottom! :D
What are neopronouns?
In simple terms, neopronouns are a category of pronouns used in the place of typical pronouns like he, she, or they.
Neopronouns allow trans people to find pronouns that fit their specific gender identity or expression if typical pronouns do not. Neopronouns can be an expression of someone's personality, gender identity, gender expression or lack thereof, and can be an act of rebellion against a binary and transphobic world.
Neopronouns (or neos) can mean different things to different people, and depending on the different pronouns. For example, I use xe/xem pronouns because I like the use of x instead of sh/h in she/he. I like the implication of the gender being completely removed from the word with an x put in its place. Also, I just like the way they look. They have good vibes.
Why are neopronouns important?
Using neopronouns correctly is just as important as using he, she, or they for someone. Using a person's correct pronouns is a sign of respect and support. Trans people use pronouns that reflect their gender identity and experience. Using the correct pronouns affirms the person's identity and helps them to them feel confident in their trans identity.
Using incorrect pronouns for someone is very hurtful. When people use the wrong pronouns for me, I feel dejected. It shows me that they do not understand, respect, or support me. It is very alienating. I feel upset, and if it goes on for a long time I start to shake and feel like I am going to cry.
In online spaces, neopronouns are even more important. I do not use neopronouns in my day to day life because it is exhausting to explain the concept of neopronouns to everyone I meet. I never know if they will be supportive, or if they will have a negative reaction, or if telling someone my neopronouns will cost me something like a job opportunity or put me in danger. In online spaces, or with my close friends, I get to be my authentic self and use the pronouns that fit me the best and makes me feel good.
How do you use neopronouns?
This is the hard part. Some neopronouns follow a conjugation pattern, but for the most part each pronoun is unique. That is part of the appeal.
I made a google doc with conjugations of 30 common neopronouns. You can find it here! I tried to include all the neopronouns I know of in my typical fandom circles. If you have a neopronoun that is not on this list, please share it with me and I will add it!
There are infinite neopronouns, and sometimes people use different conjugations of pronouns that look similar. It is always a good option to ask neopronoun user. Most of us will not be offended by this question! In fact, I love when people ask about my pronouns. It is an opportunity to teach someone new about neopronouns!
Also, you can type the pronouns into google and usually it is easy to find resources on how to use the pronouns. This is a good way to show extra support to a friend who uses neopronouns. This way, you are putting in the time and effort it takes to use their pronouns correctly.
Practice is key! If you don't put in effort and practice, they will never stick. When I was learning how to use neopronouns, I kept a screenshot of a neopronoun chart saved on my phone for reference whenever I got confused.
What if you make a mistake?
That's okay! Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Most people will not expect you to get their neopronouns right on the very first try. For me, as long as someone is putting in genuine effort to use my neopronouns correctly, I am happy.
If you catch your mistake, correct yourself quickly and move on. For example you could say, "Oh, sorry, I mean xe," and then let the conversation continue.
If you apologize over and over or derail the conversation, it can be uncomfortable for the person who you misgendered. If you still feel guilty after the conversation, you can reach out to them individually and apologize.
If someone else corrects you, apologize or thank them, correct yourself, and move on. Here are a few sample conversations.
"I was telling them-"
"Xe uses xe/xem pronouns, actually."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I was telling xem..."
"I am going to ce's house."
"Actually, it would be 'cer house'."
"Oh ok, thank you. I am going to cer house."
"I was telling them- oh, wait, I mean I was telling xem"
Please try not to be offended if someone corrects you. It can be hard, especially if you have a condition like rejection sensitive dysphoria. If someone corrects you about their pronouns, it means they feel safe enough or trust you enough to share that with you. Your reaction will dictate if they feel safe enough to be their authentic self in front of you.
Also, if you can, correct other people if they use the wrong pronouns. It can be hard for trans people to constantly correct others about our pronouns. If you correct someone else, you are showing us your support and demonstrating to other people that our pronouns are important.
Here are some more resources about neopronouns:
Understanding neopronouns
Extensive neopronoun list
Dey/dem for the black community
Gender neutral language around the world
Neopronouns in German
Neutral pronouns in Hebrew
Neutral pronouns in Spanish
Neutral pronouns in Swedish
Neutral pronouns in French
@neopronounfaq is a very helpful blog that describes neopronoun usage
If you have any questions about neopronouns or their usage, please feel free send me an ask (anon is on) or leave a comment on this post. I'm happy to answer any questions that are asked with good intentions! I will delete and block any transphobic asks :)
92 notes
·
View notes
Good night to the AFAB girls who got to know the genderqueer community and felt freer to identify as cis.
Good night to the AFAB girls who got to know the genderqueer community and realized that their feminine identity is inherently trans.
Good evening to the AFAB girls who got to know the genderqueer community and simply realized that their identity/experiences/feelings about their gender could never neatly be classified into the "cis-trans" binary.
Good evening to the AFAB girls who have come into the genderqueer community and realized that their feminine gender identity/experiences/feelings are both trans and cis, and therefore identify as both.
Good night AFAB girls who never felt like they were "biological girls" or that they "always were girls" or, much less, felt like they were girls simply because someone told them so and, with that experience, have mixed feelings about their gender.
Good night AFAB girls who are part of the genderqueer community and enrich it with their feelings, experiences AND confused identities.
I love you girls.
And even more, goodnight to the AFAB girls who are neoagab/agabpunk/anc and self-identified as AFAB, I love you so much, you are wonderful and the genderqueer community needs you and your wonderful experiences and identities.
225 notes
·
View notes