#not to mention some people earlier were being fucking assholes for no reason as well. they still havent replied back to me either

[thoughts-and-all-that]

i want to rip out your flesh i want to tear off your skin i want to grind your teeth to dust and turn them into diamonds that i shove up your nostrils directly into your brain i want to tear your toenails off in the way that they pull your skin all the way up to your eyeballs i want to slice open your eyeballs and let maggots grow inside of them i want to put you in the middle of water turning lava into obsidian so you get trapped inside the obsidian and it slices you into confetti i want to flatten you under a house and let your oozing blood stain the wooden planks red i want you to feel every inch and second of my pain ive felt my entire life all at once so youre in agony for the rest of your life cause your life will end the instant after as the overwhelming sensation of actual suffering compared to your sheltered shitty little life bursts through your veins and skin

i want you to experience every millions, billions of lifetimes of everyone you wish harm upon in the way you wish harm upon them in slow, agonizing detail. i want you to feel their lives. i want you to know what its like to be someone other than your useless self and then have that life ripped away in the most painful, horrible, leaat deserving way possible. you wont even remember you were someone else beforehand till it was too late and you were forced to confront everything you are in a way that cant be taken back even when the universe implodes on itself.

i want you to suffer. i suffer. i suffer no matter what i do to stop suffering. but you. i want you to suffer. i try not to be that kind of person cause i at least pretend im partially a good person somewhere somehow but you dont even try to pretend to be good, and people like you shouldnt be allowed to exist.

you said something to me that i hope leaves you rotting soon, soon, and it made me feel a pain that is indescribable and something you will never feel, but in a hilarious way, it makes me feel better about myself, opposite your intentions.

there are many ways im not a good person. there are many things ive done that make my brain feel its being eaten apart by termites to think about, but at least i try to be good. i try to be better. i care about people despite people barely caring about me. i try and i try and i try.

youve never been anything more than a piece of fleas shit. nothing to try to be better because you were created unable, it seems like.

it was funny poking at you like you were a worm, which you are, until you tried to bite.

poor thing bit, but blood reveals more than itself i guess.

this is incomprehensible as most things i say are. im tired. im upset. ive had a bad day of people being fucking pricks and more. ive done nothing to these people to deserve this torture, i didnt even know them before they tortured me.

im so sick of the life i live. i cant wait for it to change.

#if i call this creative writing is it less awful or suspicious #the context is a nazi harassed me. directly. and yes a literal nazi. said the type of shit they say. #not to mention some people earlier were being fucking assholes for no reason as well. they still havent replied back to me either #about what the deal is we were doing. #this feels better though. saying all this. im glad i have this basically invisible blog. #somewhere to say what i can never say elsewhere. #...if a sideblog gets deactivated it wont affect the main blog. will it?

[risuola]

CALL IT DOUBLE TROUBLE — F. READER x GOJO SATORU & GETO SUGURU, who have a habit of sharing everything

It’s been a while since you last saw your college ex-boyfriend Gojo and a Halloween party led to your reconnection. It was cool to see him again, although your break-up was messy. What turned out to be a plot twist, was that he now has a handsome best friend and together, they are deadly.

cw: smut, exes to lovers, strangers to lovers, threesome, double penetration, praise, cum play, oral (f & m receiving), su*cide is mentioned (no description, just brief mention), reader discretion is advised — 6k words

masterlist

a/n: with that post I'm concluding the kinktober - sorry about the delay! work overwhelmed me, it sucked the life out of me, but I'll be getting back to writing now, so stay tuned! also, we hit 1300 followers, so I just want to say thank you so much for being here and reading the shit I post!

You were never that big on parties – you found them mostly annoying with the masses pushing and pulling all around you, drunk assholes that never seem to understand how consent works and even more drunk girls, that throw themselves at anyone slightly attractive. At least that’s how you remember every party you were on during your college years. You experienced firsthand how much effort men can put into chasing a hem of a mini skirt and you also saw in real life, how women were flexing their assets just to get into the pants they want. Unfortunately, usually pants that were in the biggest demand, were coincidentally belonging to your boyfriend. Uh, yeah, maybe that’s why you don’t really like parties.

Dating Satoru Gojo was a blessing, in some parts – he was just lovely to you. He was caring, to some extent, he was sweet-talking you into everything he wanted, and his arrogance always seemed to fly right over your head, but you loved him for longer than he deserved. You trusted him to not sleep with those eagerly spreading girls and he never did. At least that’s what you like to believe. Flirting with them – that was a different story. Satoru was an attention whore, really. He was basking in the gazes glued to him, the salivating mouths were feeding his already enormous ego and he seemed to have the time of his life pulling the strings of those poor, naïve girls that every time believed him when he told them they are just so pretty. His crystalline blue eyes were capable of turning lesbians into straight and straights into gay. The number of suggestive pictures he posed for flooded your social media each time after the parties you attended with him, and not one of those pictures he’s ever taken with you. And then, after leaving the frat houses and clubs, he would tell you how lucky you are to have him, how all of those silly girls were offering him their pussies oh so eagerly. He’d tell you how they envied you. All while he’d fuck you. You spent two years with him, then came the break-up and just as everything that involved Satoru was messy – so was your parting.

You really had no pleasure in partying, after freeing yourself from the toxicity of Gojo, you finally found peace. You flew through college with ease and after it ended, you found yourself quite a nice job – you were okay without attending any kinds of alcohol and loud music related people gatherings. That’s until Shoko called you earlier that month, practically begging you to pay her a visit on Halloween. She was in the city, having her family house all to her disposal due to her family being on a trip somewhere warm. It was a party where all of your college, mutual friends were going to be, a little reconnection if you will and she insisted you show up as well. It really sounded lovely to see where all of your friends landed in lives. With some you still had a regular contact, but some just went their ways and you rarely crossed paths with them, so you agreed to be there. That was a perfect opportunity to catch up and you were excited.

For some unknown reason, not even once you considered Gojo to be there as well. You just kind of pushed the memory of him to the back of your head, you removed him from the picture of your mutual circle of friends and completely you forgot that he’ll most likely be there as well. You realized it when Shoko asked you about him.

“Have you seen Gojo already?”, her tone was quite cautious when she mentioned the name to you, and with the way you looked at her from above your dying cigarette, she spoke again, “You know he’s gonna be there as well, don’t you?”

“Guess I blacked out that possibility,” you mumbled, shrugging softly to shake off the uneasiness of the thought and killing the cig in the sink before throwing it away. “No, I haven’t seen him and I hope it will stay that way.”

“Oh, you’re still wounded after him?”

“No, Sho, I’m not wounded,” you grabbed yourself a red cup from the array on one of the tables in the kitchen. You had no idea what concoction of liquid courage was inside every each of them, but you really couldn’t care less. If that was one of your first parties in years, you were not going to be picky and you trusted Shoko enough to not have death in those cups. “I’m really not. Thing is… I don’t know, it’s been so many years, I’m not really sure what to even tell him. We broke up in a mess that wasn’t addressed ever since, so you know.”

“Yeah, right, I remember the insanity of that action. Gojo was haunting my dreams for two weeks after the suicidal stunt he pulled off.” Ieiri flinched at the memory but laughed right after realizing how stupid all of that was. “He was a drama queen, we have to give him that.”

“See?”

“Well, you’ll most likely see him anyway, so just a hi will be good.”

“Noted.”

She left you to greet someone, and you shook your head, hoping to get rid of the flashbacks, but they were inevitable, you guessed it. Long time after ending things with Gojo you couldn’t find peace after what happened. You think you will forever remember the argument that unraveled after you told him you’re breaking up with him. There was so much screaming, your head pounded with pain for two days straight after that. Nothing more than accusing of the most bizarre shits and poison was spilling from his mouth when, for the first time, Satoru Gojo was informed that someone else is leaving him. Usually, it was him who ended things up, it was him who was cutting the strings and he was too immature back then to come to terms that other people are also entitled to just go away. You remember he went completely feral, almost psychotic as he was laughing at some point, throwing ironic insults at you as if it was gonna make you stay. He had to prove a point that it’s not you who want to leave him. It’s him who want to break up and you just accidentally happened telling him that before he managed to do so. After that, he threatened you that he will kill himself and he made it everybody’s problem – you had to know it, Shoko had to know it and every single one of your friends had to know it as well. You heard from Ieiri that after about three weeks he got back to being his usual arrogant playboy, as if he didn’t just cause drama of the century. He moved on. Traumatized everyone around him, but moved on nonetheless. Now you found the situation kind of funny. You were just kids and you were not meant to be together. That’s just how life works and you wondered sometimes if Satoru learned a little more life after that or did he stay the same.

Sighing again, you took the cup and slipped in between people in the living room, stepping outside to breathe some fresh air on the terrace, thankful that no one was there. Or so you thought and no wonder you almost jumped out of your own skin when you heard a voice right next to you.

“Fire?” He asked, after a moment of watching you search for the lighter in the pockets of your makeshift schoolgirl uniform. The unlit cigarette in your mouth betraying what you were looking for.

His tone was soft, saccharine sweet and calm at the same time and as you looked up at him, it somewhat matched the picture that met your eyes. The man was tall and broad, dressed all in black with dress pants and a hoodie. His sleeves half up, exposing the veiny forearms as he was keeping his lighter visible, ready to give you a hand.

“Yes, please,” you replied finally, leaning into the fire he opened and with relief you take the first breath in. You were not a smoker in your day-to-day life. One pack of cigarettes lasted you a year, but it was Shoko’s influence that today made you poison your lungs more than usual. “Thanks.”

“I’m Suguru. Geto Suguru,” he introduced himself, offering you his palm and you gave it a short squeeze, telling him your own name. You couldn’t find his face in your memories, and you’d like to think that such handsome features would tattoo themselves into your brain in one way or another. He had to come with someone else, you figured. Probably a boyfriend or a husband even. You couldn’t care less about asking. “Enjoying the party?”

“I’m not big on parties, really,” you shrugged, keeping your gaze away from him because hell, he made it so easy to stare with his long luscious, black hair resting over his shoulders and back, half tied up in a little bun just to get them out of his face. You couldn’t tell what his costume was, he had some kind of alternative style going on, slightly rocker vibes with his pierced ears and silver chains hanging from his neck, but it might have as well be his usual style – he looked good in it. He most certainly looked like a big, red flag but hell was the flag attractive.

“I see. Well, I’m not either,” he confessed, huffing out a greyish cloud of smoke out of his lungs and by the smell of it, you could tell it wasn’t nicotine.

“What you’re smoking?”

“Weed, why? Wanna try it?” It was an offer that you should politely say no to, but it was your first and probably last party in a while, so you asked yourself why not and took the joint from his fingers.

“So, you’re here with someone?” you questioned, just to keep the conversation going once you gave him the smoke back. You could feel the unfamiliar but somehow pleasant burn in your lungs after the drag you took and slowly you blew the fume out. Suguru found the view attractive. Sharing a joint with you felt a little more intimate than it should have, the way your lips wrapped around the brownish paper made him wonder how would they look wrapped around something else. Thoughts like this shouldn’t bloom in his head right after he’s met you, not when he’s an adult man, not a stupid kid anymore, but some things couldn’t be stopped.

“Yeah,” he inhaled once more, deeply enough to kill the joint and throw it away. You watched for a moment how he kept the smoke in his lungs, letting it go after a moment. The cloud escaping through his mouth and nose in a soft stream. Fuck, what a gorgeous man. Whoever was the girl that got him had to be lucky. “You know him, he told me about you.”

Oh, never mind.

“He? Ah, fuck, don’t tell me you came here with that idiot,” you reached down for your cup that few moments prior you put on the ground while searching for a lighter.

“Ow, you’re hurting my feelings, sweetheart.”

And there he was. You wondered where that tower of an asshole hid.

Once you look back at Geto, there was also Satoru. He was standing next to his friend slash partner, with his forearm propped over Suguru’s shoulder as he looked at you from above the black glasses, with the very familiar grin painted on his face. Gojo changed a lot since you last saw him. He was now buffier, seemed even taller than you remembered, and his facial features matured – his jaw became more square, eyes a little more lidded and even the smirk on his lips seemed less playboy-ish and more menacingly manly. He lost his princess looks and became a man. You wondered if his character changed as well, because you could still see him using his looks to take what he wanted.

“Oh, do I?” You questioned, eyeing him up and down. His clothes were almost exactly the same as Geto’s – only difference being the light color and the fact his sweatshirt had no hood. What he was wearing completely contrasted to what his friend had on and it made sense if they were here together. Black and white, like yin and yang. You had no idea if they were here as friends or lovers, but either way, you wouldn’t be surprised.

“You sure do,” Satoru shook his head, his smile now more friendly as he approached you, entrapping you in a hug that surely took you by surprise. “It’s good to see you, beautiful.”

“You too,” you guessed, not completely convinced about what you just said but you let it be.

“I’m sorry. I have to say it before you run away from me. I’m really sorry, I was a dick when we were dating,” Gojo’s voice reached your ears directly, but you had a hard time believing what you were hearing. He was never a type to apologize for anything. Please, sorry and thank you is a set of words that you were certain he never used and yet there he was, saying just that. He really evolved. Or he wanted something.

“Yeah, you were. Hope you’re not anymore,” you chuckled softly, brushing your hand over his side.

“I try not to be,” he confessed quietly, pressing a tender kiss to the side of your neck before letting go of you. He shouldn’t have kiss you like that, but the feeling of longing was way stronger than him. Even if for a moment, he had to just have a little taste of you.

Ever since you broke up, Gojo had no idea how much he missed having you in his arms. Up until that night he was okay with some random girls coming into and getting out of his bed with no strings attached. He seemed to be unable to form a lasting relationship after you, you were his first and last girlfriend that he committed to for so long, no matter how poorly. Even if he was nothing but an asshole to you, he often wished to marry you back in the college. Even if he couldn’t possibly show you how much he cared, because his childish behaviors were standing in the way of him reaching your heart properly, he really thought you will be the one and only in his life and even if he seemed to move on so quickly after you broke up with him, it was only for show. A cover up for the thunderstorm that was raging inside his chest, a band aid over the bleeding wound. No other girl was able to even half-fill the emptiness you left in his heart.

You were special to him and it thrilled him to the core when for the first time he heard from Shoko that you agreed to be there, because if it wasn’t for you, he wouldn’t show up as well. His time for partying finished along with his fourth year of college, when he realized there was less and less fun in drinking alcohol and forcing himself into flirting. When it came to you, he had never needed to force himself to do anything. He was just an immature kid when you dated, but he loved the time you gave him.

And now, you were still fitting perfectly into his body. As if he was made from memory foam that still remembered your shape. Now, you were still just as beautiful and breathtaking as he remembered you. In your little, schoolgirl mini skirt, thigh-high socks and a white button up shirt with a loosened tie you looked way sexier than you had a reason to. It’s been quite some time since he was that aroused from just looking at someone and you made him harder than he thought is possible. Fuck, what you were doing to him?

“So, what do you do now? Still living from party to party and from girl to girl?” You asked, taking a sip of your drink. It was strong and it really was better for you to take it in slowly, but there was a certain burn of nervousness tied to meeting your ex that you needed to drown.

“No, it’s in the past,” Satoru replied, inviting you inside, where all three of you found a nice place to sit on one of the couches. You landed between the two men. “I took the lead of my father’s company, Suguru’s my partner in crime. We’re doing good, I don’t party anymore. Honestly, if Shoko didn’t give me a sign that you will be there, I wouldn’t probably step by.”

“Oh, so you came to haunt me,” you joked, earning a soft chuckle from him.

“Yeah, kind of. Couldn’t reach you before and wanted to sort this whole mess out. I’m usually cool with having enemies, but you’re not someone I want to have as enemy.”

You gave his words a soft roll of your eyes. Maybe few years back you’d let yourself be sugarcoated into believing him, but not now. Maybe, just maybe, he matured a little, but some things will never change. Gojo was a flirt, is a flirt and probably will always be a flirt. But hell, was he cute. You cursed his innate ability to attract you from a mile.

“Sure, whatever,” you shrugged and the conversation after that was flowing nicely. You got to know Suguru, you learned who he is and why did he stick with Satoru. It was a friendship they developed that kept them together and maybe it was thanks to Geto that your ex wasn’t so much of an asshole anymore. Maybe it’s the brunette’s calm personality that somewhat grounded the playboy. Or maybe it was all an illusion. Yea, it had to be an illusion. There was no way that these two six-foot-three giants were not causing some troubles.

Yeah, they were a trouble. Double trouble, to be exact, and you got to learn that when the doors of one of many bedrooms on the floor closed behind you. You don’t even know how and why you agreed to go with them anywhere in the first place. You had no idea how on earth did Satoru sweet-talked you into fucking him again. For the old time’s sake, my ass. And more important, how did he sweet-talked you into fucking not only him, but also Suguru? At the same time?! You were not built for this, that’s for sure.

“Let’s have fun like we always did, yeah?” Gojo had this typical, shit-eating grin stretched on his face, when he was pulling you by the wrist onto the bed. Geto took his time and lit up another joint, opting to just stand and watch for now. He had a smirk on, his eyes were fixed on you, and you could tell that they weren’t new to sharing a woman. It really was obvious they did that before.

You had no time to think if that surprises you at all. Satoru was a stranger to patience. He never enjoyed waiting and always went straight for what he wanted, and this time was no exception.

“God, you look so fucking hot as a schoolgirl,” he muttered, burying his face into your neck, nibbing and kissing wet marks onto your skin whilst his fingers were already dealing with buttons of your white shirt. Your body acted on its own accord, responding to the red stains of his lips and the cold touch of his fingers with excitement that you felt for the last time when you were in college. It bothered you that you still were so receptive to the way he feels on you, you thought that you’re way over the Gojo effect but seems like you were gravelly wrong. “What a naughty one,” Satoru chuckled, his voice bordered a moan when he finally opened your shirt and your shapely tits, hugged beautifully by a lace bra entered his field of view. “Fuck, I missed those.”

“You’re talking too much,” you grabbed him by the hair, tugging the snow-white strands at the base of his neck and pushing his face down your neck and onto your chest, hoping it will shut him up. That was the issue with your ex. He really was a phenomenal lay but he was just talking so damn much. That was what ultimately pushed you over the edge when you were together back in the day. You just couldn’t stand listening about other women while he was with you.

“Maybe I am,” he chuckled, sucking a red spot onto one of your tits, earning himself another tug on the hair.

“Don’t mark me, idiot,” you warned him, but it was already too late and both of you knew it.

“My, my… so nervous. Let me help you relax,” Gojo smiled wide and made you lay flat on the bed. It took him no time to find his place between your thighs and before you even got a chance to react, he was already pulling your panties off of you. For a split second, your mind got distracted by the subtle scent of weed that’s filling the air. The smell that reminded you that it’s not only you and your ex in the room, but also another person.

“Don’t worry about me,” Geto smiled. Something mischievous lingered over his lips as he did before he took another drag. The joint between his fingers slowly but surely becoming smaller as he was saturating his lungs with the fumes, only to breathe them out after a moment.

“Are you not going to join?” You asked, your voice slightly breaking into a whine once Satoru flicked his tongue over your clit, reminding you how well he spoke the language of your body. He was fluent in your pleasure, you were never sure if it came to him with experience or was he just naturally gifted, but either way, he had a skill and was proud of it. He began eating you out like he was starving for the past decade. His tongue worked the puffy nub of nerves all the way around, he sucked and licked, slurped and kissed your cunt, causing your body to jolt in pleasure. He was purring while between your legs, his long fingers already working their way into your hole. The stretch was delicious, the symphony of his mouth and hands was slowly driving you insane.

“You’re so sweet,” Satoru mumbled, taking the pleasure away to smear some wet kisses along your inner thighs. “She’s so incredibly sweet, Suguru, you have to taste her,” he added, accentuating the thought with a bite onto the fat of your thigh. His friend just chuckled, making his way towards you and he handed you his half smoked joint.

“I’d love to,” Geto replaced your ex between your thighs. He kept looking into your eyes when he opened his mouth, presenting you with his pierced tongue. Little, metallic ball in the middle of the muscle glistened in the artificial lighting and it made you moan out loud, when he swiped it along your slit, gathering your juices. There was something absolutely intimidating about his calm demeanor, something nearly diabolic but it was exactly what attracted you to him. He was complete opposite to Satoru. He wasn’t bright and loud; his eyes weren’t big and vibrant. He looked mysterious, he kept himself quieter, his eyes kept the focus that Gojo couldn’t achieve. They really were made for each other.

“Oh god—,” your eyes nearly rolled back as he began working on your swollen clit ruthlessly. You had no idea if it was because of the piercing or was it just his skill, but it felt even better then when the snow-white was between your thighs. Or maybe it was just you being so turned on by him.

“You like it?”, your ex asked, grinning as he was taking the time to undress himself. “Knew you’re gonna enjoy it.”

You spared him the comment, losing the track of thoughts in the way Suguru was making you feel. You could have sworn you never felt something like this, he was just incredible with the way his tongue was engraving his own name into your clit. Cold metal of his piercing doubled down the pleasure you were receiving, contrasting with the heat of his muscle.

Your thighs began to tremble, your toes curled in, and you felt yourself quickly falling down the hole of ultimate lust. Euphoria was rushing through your veins; your heart was drumming in your chest as the smoke was leaving your lungs after the drag you took from the joint in your hand. Suguru was pushing you over the edge with such ease it felt illegal. You could feel him grinning proudly from his spot between your legs, you could feel his fingers gripping your hips with bruising strength, keeping them in place while he was slurping your soul straight from your weeping pussy.

Your orgasm exploded and you called out Suguru’s name. He didn’t stop. He kept drinking, thirsty for more of you as your juices coated his tongue and the bottom of his handsome face.

“You really do taste fucking sweet,” he commented, getting up and crawling above you. His lips were on yours the moment he reached your face. He tasted the smoke and you tasted yourself in that kiss. It didn’t last long, but the intensity of it made you almost dizzy. “Let’s get you out of this uniform.”

 It took just few moments until you were completely bare underneath the heavy gaze of two men around you. Satoru was just in his underwear, the tent in them painfully apparent and you knew him well enough that he won’t be able to wait much longer, but what bothered you was the fact that Suguru was still completely clothed. He looked sexy in his dark outfit, but he can look sexy in it later.

“Aren’t you a tease—” you muttered, once he got up from the bed to drown the rest of the joint in what little of alcohol was left in one of your cups on the bedside table. “Take this off.” You demanded, coming up to your knees and pushing his hoodie up.

“How demanding,” he laughed but complied and you managed to just blink twice before his god-like figure presented itself to you. A muscular, large body beautifully decorated with a dragon tattoo that wrapped its tail around his right bicep and spread on his back. You couldn’t decide what to focus on – his impressive musculature, the ink on his skin or the fact that even though he still had his pants on, you could already feel yourself salivating.

Satoru was right behind you, swiping the angry tip of his cock up and down your folds, gathering your slick and making you shiver from the touch. He then pushed his girth into you, stretching you impossibly and pulling a quiet, whiny fuck straight out of your throat. It’s been a while since you’ve been having sex with anyone, not to say anyone with that size, but you couldn’t deny that the burn was delicious. It set all your senses on fire, the heatwave washed over you and once Gojo went with the first thrust, it reminded you how much you missed the physical act of intimacy with him.

“Can’t focus, pretty girl?”, Suguru brought your attention back to himself. His long fingers gently gathered all of your hair into a messy ponytail, and you got the hint immediately. As on cue, you unbuckled his pants, pushing them down almost too eagerly. “Good girl.”

The praise in his tone got you weak, you were already becoming a mess from how perfectly Satoru was fucking you right now, pounding his hips against yours in the mind-numbing manner. His cock hitting all of the sweet spots inside of you with each long stroke and that was enough to make you almost incapable of thinking straight, but your hands and mouth acted on its own.

Geto watched how your lips wrapped around his dick. The sight of you taking him into your mouth with such hunger was something he wanted to engrave onto his brain and if the picture was amazing, then there was no word to describe the feeling itself. Your soft, plush lips felt divine brushing along his sensitive shaft, your tongue dancing around his length made him almost lose his composure. You were a sight. And you made him feel so good, he could feel himself twitching in the hot, wet embrace of your mouth. You were sucking him as if your life was depending on it, as if it was your last supper and you wanted to devour it and every time his plump tip hit the back of your throat, he could feel you taking control over him.

“Isn’t she amazing?”, Gojo mumbled from behind you. His grip remained iron on your hips, the bruising force being the only thing that was grounding you now. You could feel yourself clenching around him, your juices were running down your thighs and the wet sounds of skin slapping against each other were filling the room.

“Oh, she is,” Geto confirmed, applying some force onto your head. The tug on your hair was enough to send you overboard and the vibration of your throat once you moaned were enough for him as well. You couldn’t tell who came first, and frankly, you couldn’t care less about it, as long as it felt so damn good.

“I, fuck— I told you,” Satoru panted out. His hips moved slower as he was sloppily riding the high out. You licked the cock in front of you clean, satisfied with the first course but hungry for more.

You shouldn’t allow all of this to happen. There was not a single argument that could justify everything that was happening right now – you shouldn’t sneak out to god-knows-whose room in your friend’s house and you absolutely shouldn’t sneak out there with not only your ex-boyfriend but also his friend. You couldn’t even remember how you agreed to that. Why have you agreed to that? You had no idea. Was it to talk?

You wouldn’t exactly call the way your body was being stuffed full by two cocks at the same time talking. You were squeezing Suguru’s shoulders as he was thrusting his hips up against yours. His body below you, laying flat on the bed made for a canvas for your nails to leave marks, but he didn’t seem to mind at all. He was kissing you with a mixture of passion and laziness, a smirk stayed prominent on his lips as he was swallowing your moans. The subtle taste of weed in his mouth got you wanting more of him. He felt perfect in every way, his movements were setting your nervous system on fire as the heat was spreading over your entire body, radiating from your core. You could feel Satoru’s fingers teasing your clit, you could feel his lips smearing wet trails along your spine. The way his hips were moving seemed to be perfectly in sync with the brunette.

You were so full of them, you never felt something like this before. The initial pain you felt when Gojo pushed his girth into your asshole was long gone now as he was pounding into you in complete unison with how Geto was moving. The sensation of being so incredibly full turned your brain into a heated mush, your body was trembling between them, electrocuted time after time with a sharp waves of white pleasure. Your vision was blurry, the stars covered most of it. You could no longer tell whose hands were where and your thighs were wet and sticky from all the seed that was being pumped into you, gushing out with every piston of their hips.

“You’re so perfect for us,” someone told you. A low, rasped out voice resounded right next to your ear, followed by a harsh bite onto your shoulder and the sudden wave of new pain that radiated from it pushed you over the edge. You were speeding, falling with no parachute. You couldn’t breathe for a moment as the climax was overtaking you. “Such a good girl, you’re making so much mess.”

“Oh god,” you whimpered, gasping for air as their thrusts picked a pace. You couldn’t form any coherent sentence as they were fucking the soul out of your body. Right after you came, they both came as well. Their cum coated your insides and leaked onto your thighs, dripping down as they pumped into you some more.

Gojo was first to pull out, spreading your cheeks and admiring how his white overflown your hole. The menacing grin spread across his face as he gripped your hips and lifted you off Suguru’s cock. The long-haired man sat up as you, led by your ex’s hands turned to straddle Geto’s lap. Your back was facing his chest as he pulled you back onto his shaft. All of his length sank right into your ass, pulling a moan right from your chest.

“Look at you, so gorgeous,” Satoru was in front of you, admiring for a moment your bouncing figure before his long fingers slipped into your cunt, curling in a way that got him pressing onto your oversensitive sweet spots. “Open your mouth for me.”

You barely registered his words, but your jaw dropped nonetheless. His cum coated digits slid right through your lips and you sucked on them, twirling your tongue around and tasting the mixture of your juices and their seeds. Suguru’s hands were kneading your breasts as his friend was playing with the mess between your thighs.

There was something deeply erotic in a way the white-haired man kept your gaze up. How he looked right into your eyes while you were being fucked by his best friend, how he enjoyed the way you gave them your body to play however they wanted. And it felt even more erotic when Satoru licked the lone drop of cum that escaped the corner of your mouth only to kiss you right after.

Geto was still slamming his pelvis up and you got stuck in the realm of pleasure, hanging somewhere between the movements of the cock in your ass and the lips over your own. You could feel your thighs trembling. Your body, still oversensitive from the last orgasm and yet, already entering the state of another. The wave of lustful relief now flowing dangerously close to your core, the knot in your stomach holding just barely and you squeezed Satoru’s hair, tugging at them harshly. You were struggling to breathe through the heavy kiss he was laying on your lips, but the sensation of it rendered you unable to fight it.

And then it hit you once again. The man below you filled you to the brim, tearing down the last bits of composure you had and your world shattered once the final climax. You felt as if the lust and desire were steaming off of all three of you. The breaths were mixed and the tastes concocted. As all three of you fell onto the bed, blissfully satisfied, you began to slowly regain your mind to the sound of a soft chuckle from your left side. Satoru. He had a habit of laughing when he was fulfilled – a sign of his happiness, the state nearing high. There was some gratefulness in it as well.

“How are you feeling?”, the question came from the right side, where Suguru seemed to already plan how to take care of the entire mess. He kissed your shoulder softly.

“Good,” you replied to him, watching as he gathered himself up from the bed.

“You rest a little bit longer; I’ll go get washed first and then you two.”

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #satoru #suguru #satosugu #stsg #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #satoru gojo #gojo #gojo x reader #suguru geto #geto #geto x reader #satosugu x reader #satosugu x you #satosugu x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #satoru goto smut #suguru geto smut #gojo smut #geto smut #satosugu smut #satoru x suguru x you #geto x gojo x you

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I an asshole for making fun of someone’s name and interests but then apologizing? I (16M) recently became friends with some people in my lunch hour. They are Z (17NB), M (18NB) and K (17M). M is dating A (18FTM), who i have met twice and had maybe two brief convos with, and he seemed sweet at the time. However, A is friends with the whole group, so they all know him and talk about him. We have joked in the past about the fact that A has the same nickname as one of my other friends. For the sake of fake names, lets say the nickname is Alex. I refer to my friend as Alex and Z,M, and K all call their friend Alex too. However, one day i called my friend by his full name- again, fake name, but lets say- Alexander. M makes fun of my friends name, saying its a bad name. In retaliation I jokingly say ‘your partners name is worse!’. A’s full name is a different spelling of a rather nice name, for this lets say its Alexyus (like Alexis). I mention that i like the name alexis, just say “but who spells it with a y!”. I also add, “plus theyre literally a dsmp and homestuck fan!”. OKAY BEAR WITH ME! i will fully accept and admit that thus far i have been an asshole. It wasnt okay for M to make fun of my friends name, but it also wasnt okay for me to make fun of their partner.

Anyways- no one seemed too upset by it in the moment, but later when i got home i received messages from M, K, and A. M’s had some odd sort of long copy pasta which basically said i hope you suffer, but it felt like a joke to me so just responded withh “i aint reading all that”. K’s message was wild tho- he said “i was just hoping you would kill yourself, overdose, hang yourself, or even just cut ur wrists. what is wrong with you, you fing freak!”. which is… wow! After i read the message i saw him edit it to add a “/jay” (meaning joking) at the end, but the original message had no indication of it being a joke. However, i accepted it as a joke because…. Why would he tell me to kill myself lol…. Anyways, A’s message was polite and formal, asking to talk about something i said earlier at lunch (A isnt in our lunch, he wasnt there when i made the comment about his name, but i assume M or K told him). I respond equally politely and we had a good conversation about it, i realized that it wasnt at all my place to make thats jokes or poke fun at A in that way, and i apologized. A said it was all good and honestly i was impressed with their forgiveness and maturity. I hoped A and i could become potential friends in the future, even. I was still peeved that K literally told me to commit suicide, but whatever yknow. The next few days at lunch were awkward but my other friend, Z, and me mostly just didnt talk to M and K. At some point my other friend, who i told about this, mentioned to K kinda offhandedly like “yo it was kinda fucked up u told (me) to kill himself..” and K informed us that he actually didnt send the message, it was A on his phone. M corroborated this story and then we left, but i was honestly so shocked.

Now i dislike and feel uncomfortable around M, K and A (although not Z, who agreed that what the rest of them did was not okay), because to me it feels like they all were okay and agreement of the message. But ultimately i’m really conflicted- it was definitely wrong of me to make fun of A (even if it was not meant to be serious, i dont know A well enough to joke like that), but i feel like telling me to kms is unjustified. Maybe it all is stupid drama tho, and i should just let it go?

*** i forgot to add- if its worth noting, since A is trans, he chose his own name, and mentioned that was one of the reasons he was specifically upset. Should i have not made fun of his name because i know he chose it himself? (Idk if it matters but my friend alexander is also trans and chose his name too. Also i love him and his name to death so maybe thats why i was specifically defensive of it.) but anyways:

Am i the asshole? Are we all assholes?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

[the-ink-of-roses]

sister

damian wayne x platonic!batsis!reader warning: angst, mentions of death, bruce and everyone else being assholes first note: the reader uses she/her pronouns here word count: 14096 words reposting an older work from my old account here!!!! :DD

request: Headcanons for a batsis whos mean as fuck to everyone expect damien. Like they all come back from a mission and she criting all of them for every little thing except damien she's just like "you did amazing sweetie💗💗💗"

he found out you were living in crime alley with your mom who told you your fathers name before she died

he’d just adopted jason a while ago and now he just had another daughter all of a sudden

he’d just adopted jason a while ago and now he just had another daughter all of a sudden

the media expected you to be the little sunshine of the family, since you were the only girl, but you called them out for being sexist with some very colourful words

you weren’t nice to anyone

at first it was because you blamed bruce for your mom’s death, but you pretty soon realised that he wasn’t at fault, and you were sure you’d heard him visit your mother’s grave as well, so he did care

then you blamed jason and dick for taking away all his attention, when dick was barely present and jason was an ass

when you found out the secret you were mad at them for not telling you and treating you like a baby

when tim came, you were mad at everyone for just replacing jason because even if you were never nice to him and you despised him, he was somehow still your brother and they didn’t have the right to throw his memory away

when jason returned from the dead, you were mad at him for putting you through so much

so, you’ve pretty much been mad at everyone all your life, remaining stone cold while still caring, truly batman’s child

that was until damian came

when he came, you were pleasantly surprised, a short little baby with nothing but murder on his mind?

at first he resented you because he saw you as the competition, y’know, being ‘the blood daughter’

you however, didn’t like to mad at damian, in fact he was the only person you couldn’t be mad at for long

you could go days with being rude and heartless to everyone else, even bruce now, but not damian

the reason for this was because somewhere you saw yourself in him

a young boy, taken from the only home he knew, now introduced to a man he never knew earlier who is supposed to be his father?

sounds similar

someone who wanted his only known living family members approval not knowing he didn’t know if his mother was alive?

you’d definitely heard it before

hurting deep inside but keeping it all locked in so you don’t appear weak in front of someone else, even if it’s your family?

it was like looking in a mirror but this time a younger male looking back at you

having to live upto the expectations of all the previous people in this business but you were never taught this way of life and now you’re just pushed into it with all these expectations and responsibilities?

yeah, he was a mini you, only difference was that you’d been raised with your mom in crime alley while he was an heir to the league of assassinations but it wasn’t much of a difference

so, you were patient with him, something you’d never been even with tim or even jason, who was adopted the same time as you were

you needed someone when you got here but you didn’t get anyone but alfred and now damian was going through a very similar thing

you knew the person you wanted but you didn’t know the person damian needed, didn’t mean you wouldn’t learn

with everyone besides dick not even trying to welcome him, you knew you had to be someone for him, and so you were

you didn’t have the best relationship with her, you seldom even spoke of her until damian brought her up

you’d never shut him down before but you didn’t hesitate to do it now

it wasn’t until he followed you to your mother's graveyard did he learn of it, and it was that particular event that lead you two to bond over the fact both of you had a cold and distant mother and an even more cold and distant father

slowly but eventually you became the big sister damian needed, you sparred with him, you sat with him while he painted even if you couldn’t paint to save your life, and you’d be there if he got a nightmare from the league when he had a fight with bruce, you were there for him through all of that

and slowly but eventually, you got though him, he accepted you as an older sister faster than anyone else in the family

you became the person, the sibling you needed when you had just moved here for damian and you didn’t regret it one bit

that didn’t mean your demeanor towards everyone else had changed

you were still emotionless, rude and cold towards them all but damian, sometimes you’d help him make threats too

alfred watched you two bond in peace, he was glad you’d grown up to be a strong woman and damian’s walls slowly melted away, at least when he was with you

you were always warm towards him, and as someone who wasn’t used to it, he grew attached to you quickly

y’all were the black sheep, called cold and rude, coming off as the rudest people in the family but inside you two just never got the love you wanted from a father or a mother

damian’s mom wasn’t a bad mom, she just never showed her affection in front of him, much like yours

the resemblance was uncanny

you’d fought bruce many times for him not giving damian his attention or chance, it was always the same excuse

you knew he didn’t mean it, he was just trained to be this way you knew bruce tried but it wasn’t enough, but at least he was trying

you still hated most of the other boys for not giving damian a chance and judging him, because unlike them, you knew who damian wayne-al ghul really was

just like how he and alfred were the only ones who knew you

one day, the mission was a tough and dangerous one

you were benched, so you couldn’t go but you were worried for them all, especially damian, he was getting even more reckless to prove his worth to bruce

watching them while helping babs, you’d never seen anyone be so dumb, especially for detectives, crime lords, vigilantes and everything else they were

they did a horrible job and you weren’t scared to tell them

“horrible job everyone,” was the sarcastic voice that greeted them and none of them needed it after the scolding they’d gotten from bruce but you weren’t about to let them go easily

“dick, that wasn’t a reasonable cover place, you left everyone behind, Jason, covert means no guns because they make this thing called noise that defeats the entire purpose of the mission, and Timmy what the hell? you were so slow, you almost got stabbed like four times, start sleeping, it’s showing on your fieldwork and here, there is no space for errors”

as you turned to damian, everyone prepared to see what you would tell him, but to everyone’s surprise, you just put a gentle hand on his shoulder and looked at him warmly

warm and you didn’t go in the same sentence

everyone was taken aback from your next words, “damian while your tactic was effective, you rushed a little into battle, but it’s okay, you still did great and i am so proud of you, go clean up, you deserve an early night”

the??? tone??? was??? soft????

no one had heard you use it before

they were all shook

aside from you and damian of course, he nodded and walked off to his room, freshening up and you joined him. He painted while you typed away, finishing some work you had left. This was another usual day, one damian came to appreciate spending with you, his older sister, someone who chose him even if you could have chosen anyone else

a tear fell as he sat at your grave, the only things he had were his memories. you were the only one who was there for him, who stood up for him, fought for him and that got you killed. shielding him from a bullet, you’d broken the one promise you made him, to never leave.

#damain wayne #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x platonic!reader #damian wayne x batsis #damian wayne x you #damian wayne #robin #robin x you #nixie is alive #dc x reader #x reader #headcanons #damian headcanons #repost #rose's thorns #batfamily #robin x reader

[rohidorah]

MV opinions/ my own analysis

Alright, I am going to give my own analysis and honest opinion on these characters. Feel free to disagree or civilly debate, but that doesn’t mean I’ll change my opinion. And feel free to leave hate in my inbox if you’re feeling angry; this will just give me more reason to laugh at you. 

Ravenwing: I don't like him. There's nothing much to his character; accept that he's a tattletale who can't mind his own business. People completely miss his character and ignore just how irresponsible, ignorant, and stuck-up he is. While yes, I definitely think Frecklewish deserved to know the truth, he had no reason to reveal a secret that would endanger the lives of children who would face ostracization or the threat of execution. He acknowledges this, and instead of feeling any empathy for at least the children, he decides to endanger their lives regardless. Peope will often get on Oakstar,freckle, Appledusk for breaking the code, but never this guy as well. It's against their laws to ignore a child in danger, and this guy completely goes against his religion in favour of giving the biggest fuck to Mapleshade and her children. Nowhere is it mentioned that Ravenwing was young; it only mentions that he had to become a medicine cat earlier due to Oakspeckle dying. That does not mean he was young. For all we know, it could've meant that there were things missing from his training that he did not know. And regardless of whether he was young, that isn't an excuse to endanger infants who haven't even been weaned off yet. At the very least, if he was going to snitch, he could've at least stuck yk for the kits and tried to persuade Oakstar into letting them stay. It is the medicine cat's duty to guide their leader's decision, but instead he acted like a stickup jerk and branded them as "dangerous" and that they weren't worthy of being trusted.

Reedshine: I don't know how to feel about her, to be honest. Though I slightly dislike her for her kind of pick-mosh behaviour if she is a heater, yes, while I get that she stood up for him because he's her mate and she loves him, he could change. I don't like how she immediately forgave him. At the very least, I would've liked to see her be angry and then temporarily break up until Appledusk proved that she could rely on and trust him. I don't like how she's reduced to just being this character, giving off the vibes of "I'm going to be mean to his baby mama and defend this cheater because I want him." Give her more personality than that. Make her angry at her mate and make her ignore him until she feels he's changed or deserves her forgiveness. When it comes to canon discussion, I hate that Reedshine gets branded as "a bitch" all because she talked to Appledusk at the gathering, and people will often spread misinformation about her flirting with Appledusk just to slander her character. My guy??? All she did was ask Appledusk's if he wanted to hear a story about an elderly Shadowclan swallowing a live frog, and suddenly she's the worst woman in the world. Some of you don't love Reedshine as much as you say you do, if you believe that. 

Frecklewish: I honestly want you to die multiple times. You're not as innocent as people want to make you out to be. You were not the victim. You stopped being "the victim" the moment you and your father plotted in front of a pregnant woman to use her children as tools to wrongfully murder someone who was only defending themselves. Frecklewish is a kind of complex character, I guess. But she is not a snivelling little baby. She's an asshole. Just like mapleshade, just like appledusk. Let them be assholes that can be loved. I don't like how people act like she's sad all the time when, on the contrary, she's malicious, vindictive, and careless with other people's lives and feelings. When Maples Kits are first born, she and Oakstar plan out in front of Maples Shade that they're going to indoctrinate these young children into becoming weapons so they can murder a guy who accidentally killed someone they loved in self-defence. This is where the conditional love starts, as she and Oakstar view them as things that can be used to their advantage; they do not treat or see them as actual cats and only see them as pawns to be used. If she truly loved these kits or loved them at all, she shouldn't have been so willing to ruin their lives in favour of petty revenge. She turned on these children the moment she realised they were not related to her and proceeded to attack their mother in front of them and then screen in universe slurs at them. Grief is no excuse to treat children this way. You could argue Mapleshade deserved her wrath because she was acting like an asshole here, but those children did not choose to be born to an interclan couple. They did not choose to be the product of lies and deception. Her grief is no excuse for her to demand that they be driven out. It's no excuse to encourage her father to make a rash decision. Yes, Frecklewish was the first to suggest their exile. I haven't read the book in a few months, but if I remember correctly, Oakstar hadn't even been considering exile until frecklewish demanded they be chased out. I believe frecklewish watched them drown. And no, this doesn't swing like she should've jumped in. People who think that are quite literally missing the entire point of why she didn't deserve to go to Starclan. She'd seen the appledusk, and his patrol was not valid enough to abandon them without at least calling for more help. Firstly, Riverclan cats are not immune to drowsing. So to say that Appledusk and Splashfoot had it taken care of is stupid. Secondly, it's nowhere mentioned that Thunderclan cats can't swim. The only issue they have is that their pelts are thicker, which makes it harder, but that doesn't mean they can't. Hawkfrost was a Thunderclan-blooded cat. He adapted to swimming because he practiced. Thunderclan cats could do the same. They aren't useless. One of the kittens, I believe, was hanging off a branch. She could've at least saved him, but she did not. She could've done literally anything but run away from something she caused. She showed no remorse when she's accused of watching them die and doesn't deny it either, or when Mapleshade says, "I bet you're glad they're dead." 

Oakstar: You're a piece of shit. A jerk. An arrogant fool who can't see past his xenophobic agenda to show empathy for innocent children. But he's a genuinely interesting character to me because of how he's portrayed in Pinestar's book. A weird thing I never understood is how Frecklewish Stan's will often go to great length to defend her but will turn around and slander Oakstar when they are literally two peas of the same pod. Are we forgetting that they are both related to birchface? And that birchface was his son. If you're going to say that frecklewish had every right to be mad, then you better have that same energy for Oakstar. His decisions were entirely based on his own grief and anger, the same way Frecklewish's were. Frecklewish is a mini version of him, just more vindictive and out about it. The only thing I liked about his character in this book was how he seemed, I don't know, less xenophobic." Out of all cats, why did you choose Appledusk? His wording makes it sound like if it had been anyone but Appledusk, he would've been more lenient on her and wouldn't have done her as dirty as he did. But he is still a piece of shit regardless of who showed disgusting prejudice towards children based on something they could not control, and all the same with ravenwing, he branded them as traitors when there was nothing about them that could've suggested they'd be traitors. He is strongly beefing with babies who are still needing milk and haven't been weened off yet.

Mapleshade: Now we're getting onto the problematic woman herself!!! Despite my hatred for her, it's not because of this book or because I like her mate. LOL, it's because I hate what she did to Crookedkit and Tigerkit. Whether or not it was sexual or not does not change the fact that she groomed and took advantage of young children. And it is gross and doesn't sit right with me, but you do, I guess. They also nerfed her so badly, and that also pisses me off. Anyway, I do not think for the most parts of the book she was wrong until after their children died. Though I believe the only thing she was wrong for was not saying anything and letting frecklewish believe her brother was her mate, that's a very asshole move to make, though I definitely understand why she did it, and I was willing to argue and defend her for it until she basically told Thunderclan during her trial to get over it. I don't think she was completely wrong for lying because clan culture is incredibly toxic, and I wish people understood how bad it genuinely is to be ostracised from a society, especially one that you defend for survival. We've seen how Mistyfoot, Stonefur, Feathertail, and Stormfur suffered from ostracization and torture all because of their heritage, yet this is continually ignored when it comes to Mapleshade's situation. And i used to be closed-minded and believed; she did it to herself, but I am opening myself up to see her perspective on things. This is the only action of hers, and I believe she had no wrongdoing in it. Now, in her other actions, she's not very bright. For someone who doesn't want their children to be endangered The Erin's don't do a very poor job of portraying her consistently that way, and she's very empty headed. Firstly, she took her kits out of camp while they were way too young and let them swim in an open area where anyone could have seen them, and in this case, Ravenwing had been stalking her. And this isn't to say that she didn't love them. She's just very She is a very negligent and bad parent. You can be a bad parent and still love your children for any of their small brains who can't grasp that. She then again makes them cross a flooded river with zero concern for their safety, despite them saying that "we should go back," and I'm tired of the argument that "she couldn't do anything because of frecklewish." Mapleshade has been shown several times to be very capable of defending herself, and she could defend her children better if she wanted to. The clan has her until sundown to leave. The sun had set after she left Riverclan, so she could've stayed reasonably close to the territory until the storm passed. There are also three different bridges that lead to Riverclan, the closest being the one near the tree-cut place. And I'm not placing the deaths solely on her, by the way. They are the fault of her, Oak, Freckle, and Raven. They were all complicit in endangering young children. 

Darkstar: Lord, there are so many misconceptions about this one. The first one said that she allowed the kits to be buried in mud, which is never even said in the book. And even if that were true, do you realise it was just storming?? They live on land primarily surrounded by marshes and rivers. They would be burrowing all their loved ones in mud, so that doesn't make it any different. The second being that she was kissing Appledusk ass?? And she didn't punish him. I have no idea where that came from, but she and her clan were straight up scoring and ostracising Mapleshade and Appledusk, and she was on the verge of exiling him until Reedshine challenged her decision. She didn't let him stay for no reason; she did it purely because she needed his slave labour to make sure her clan didn't starve to death. And Appledusk would still be scorned by his clan, losing his Warriors privileges, which is considered a big deal for their culture. And on top of that, they both lost their children. The loss of children is a punishment far greater than anything. 

Appledusk: I am guilty of loving him and Mapleshade together as a couple, thick and thin, and I believe that in the afterlife they are still happily married after going to counseling. Anyway, there is a lot of controversy around this nigga, and it's so funny because it's either lies or a far stretch of what actually happens in the book. In my opinion, both he and Mapleshade are the victims of this book. They have both suffered and been dealt a dirty hand if mistreated by those around them as well as their culture, which caused them to turn on each other. Firstly, I'm going to say that he did love Mapleshade; they were not abusive, but they border heavily on it because of their toxic nature; they are, for one, a don't fucking community, and she has been shown that she will often not listen to what he says. And he just sits there and takes it? Also, cheating is bad. I'm obviously not excusing that because I have been a victim of this several times. Anyway, something I don't understand is a frequent point that I see Mapleshade Stan's making when they defend Mapleshade on letting frecklewish believe that her brother was Mapleshade's mate and father to her kits. People often use the point that she did it to protect them from xenophobic clan culture and from being ostracised, which yes, I can understand. But that didn't make it any less cruel. I would've defended her on this lie she told had she not straight up told Thunderclan during her trial, "Who cares?" or some mess like that. I still defend her for that, though. Okay, so my point is that people get on Appledusk for getting another mate. My issue is that people flat out ignore how interclan relations can get cats exiled, killed, or ostracized. It is very clear that he chose to pick a new mate within his clan out of fear of being ostracised and for nothing more. Dovewing did this and got with Bumblestripe to see if she could better adapt and get over Tigerheart. Obviously, it didn’t work. And this currently still happens, for example, with Nightheart and Sunbeam. This has happened with Leafpool and with Yellowfang. But since the rules have changed, Berryheart and some of the Shadowclan are the only real ones who do the Ostracization. He still loved Mapleshade because they'd met hours prior, and the text described it as. "the longing in his eyes told a different story" after he told Mapleshade that he didn't want to see her or the kits near the river again. I don't think people understand how terrible ostracization is among warriors. Which is weird because it's seen onscreen for Leafpool and Yellowfang. And it’s nasty and toxic to see. It’s also seen with disabled cats in the book. Both he and Mapleshade were being publicly scorned and ostracised by the clan, and he was on the verge of exile until Reedshine stood up for him. I think that should say enough that he did face punishment. Being ostracised by your clan is a greater punishment than being exiled, I think. These are team-oriented clans, so it really isn't going to work well when people doubt you for making the mistake of simply being in love. And on top of that, as I mentioned before, they lost their children. And despite Appledusk being a jerk in this scene, I think it’s foolish to be mad at him for that when he didn’t even know the full story of what happened and believed that she crossed the river for no reason. Anyone with a shred of common sense would be outraged if their spouse endangered their children for no reason. They both had reasons to be upset. Also, a weird thing I see is how people say he passed her under the bus when I don’t see how. He never said that it was Mapleshade’s fault that he broke the code; (unlike crowfeather 💀💀😭)  he fully admitted that he did it to himself and only blamed her for the kits dying because that was what he was led to believe. So again, my opinion is that they’re both victims of the book, and they both suffered because of toxic clan culture and bullshit evil religion. 

#warrior cats #appledusk #mapleshade #frecklewish #oakstar #darkstar #ravenwing #reedshine #mapleshades vengeance #warriors #warriorcats #I am so excited to be beat in the head with rocks

[titlemewickedwonderland]

Thin White Lines (Part 3)

Summary: Y/N Harrington and Billy Hargrove are the most unlikely of best friends. Each harbors feelings for the other that neither of them wishes to tell the other. Only, the longer they spend together the longer the thin white line of friendship seems to disappear.

Pairing: Harrington!Y/N x Billy Hargrove.

Warnings: Language, Billy being an asshole, mention of sexual intercourse, slight NSFW

<< Previous Chapter Or Next Chapter >>

The alcohol was totally the one giving me the courage to let loose; maybe Billy had something on me when he said going to a party once in a while would help me let loose. I didn't realize how much fun it could actually be. Fuck the fact that more than half the people there were idiots and I wouldn't talk to them after in the school halls actually seemed far more appealing now than it did earlier. But damn did the music actually pop when I had like my 8th solo cup of booze down my throat. Everything looks better when you have an unknown mix of liquor in your system I tell yah. Like, let me tell you, Tommy H. He never attracted me before. He was actually the second worst person I hated in Hawkins, Jason Carver being top for many obvious reasons. But right now with the alcohol in my system and some trashy pop song playing overhead my body moved on its own as I rocked and gyrated my hips along with the beat in the crowd of drunk teenagers. Tommy was in front of me dancing with me with hands that just wouldn't stop trying to grope me in my dress; the hell was Carol anyways to tame her boyfriend? Ah, smacking faces with some other jock, typical. I always did know Carol was a whore. Ah well! I closed my eyes and let my body move with the music attempting to ignore the sweaty palms leaving wet patches on my dress as Tommy tried to cop a feel. Well, I was attempting until a different set of hands were placed a little low on my hips; gripping and flexing their hold as a frame brushed up against my back. It was electric, it was hot, and I couldn't care less when I leaned my frame back into the body behind me and rested my head against his shoulder. My brain couldn't process who was behind me until that damned husky voice whispered like hot sin right into my ear as his hands slid from my hips up my sides to briefly skim along the sides of my breasts before gripping my ribcage just below the swell of my bra

"Now who's enjoying the party hmm?" my eyes fluttered and I turned my head slightly to peer over my shoulder only to find none other then Billy Hargrove plastered to my back. My spine melting into the front of his bare torso and the cool feel of his leather was a welcoming relief against the heat of my skin.

I knew he'd seek me out eventually. I could always feel those damned eyes on me as I enjoyed my night. Like some sort of shadow among the crowd of people. I couldn't deny the longer the night went the more the feel of his eyes hungry on me from somewhere in the house thrilled me immensely. What this meant for our friendship after tonight I had no fucking clue. He often would just ignore me if he got pissed off or if something happened that he couldn't emotionally process for a time which meant I'd be nothing but another faceless person until he was ready to seek me out again. But this was different. Yeah, our relationship was fucked up half the time; hot and cold but we'd stuck to each other through it all. But god tonight was different. Could be the booze, could be the music. But I had a suspicion that it was simply just the thrill of Billy that I was drunk on.

The press of moist lips were like a firey brand against the column of my throat as I slowly swayed to the music all the while being held by Billy's hot hand pressed to my front. There were no words that I could even utter to return some sort of snarky remark back at him for his earlier quip because godamm his presence and those lips were just too intoxicating right now. I forgot all about Tommy in front of me who was thankfully easily distracted by another pretty ass which left just me and Billy in our own little world as the music played and the sweaty bodies milling around us on the makeshift dance floor. Billy smelled of cigarette smoke and booze but I probably smelled pretty much the same mixed with sweat. Shit, where was Steve and Nancy? I'd forgotten about them and wondered if they'd already left me to walk home later when the party began to disperse.

"You know, I know there's a spare bedroom upstairs that's not being used right now." Billy's voice were followed by the press of chaste kisses along my jawline.

Oh god. How drunk was he? Was he just as hammered as I was? Was this a good idea? But godammit felt so right and yet so wrong to be pressed up against him like this. Like a drug I know I shouldn't take but craved that high. He's my best friend, fucked up or not he was still a friend and friend's didn't grind up against each other like this. But it was a party…just a party that neither of us would remember in the morning right? I'd just have to make sure nothing happened beyond some hot and heavy make out sessions right? Right. Yeah, Y/N You go girl. Be smart here! I exhaled sharply and quickly grabbed one of his hands; feeling the cool metal of his rings against my fingers as I dragged him through the mass of people towards the stairs. I tripped over my stupid heels up on the third step and in frustration yanked those fuckers off and tossed them to the side just seconds before Billy's frame collided with mine and I was pressed against the wall of the staircase; mouth hot and sweet pressing against mine like a man desperate and possessed causing my mind to short circuit. I groaned into his mouth as I wrapped my arms around his neck to draw him closer; fingers sinking into his soft curls to draw him impossibly deeper into my being.

I didn't know how we made it up stairs. I didn't remember anything but the hot press of his mouth against my skin and the way his muscles flexed and moved beneath my fingertips when I finally shucked off that damned leather jacket off of him. He was gorgoues. Not ripped like some guys were trying to be nowadays but the gentle grooves of abs in the making and the flex of strong biceps were just perfect. Okay, this dress was too fucking suffocating right now. I needed to feel his skin against mine pronto but before the dress was even halfway unzipped down my back the door was flung open and another drunken couple was stumbling inside with lips locked and hands groping. Billy shouted something at them but I merely just stared up at him; tracing the line of his sharp jawline and imagining my lips tracing that same damned line with my tongue.

"Fuck it! We aren't fucking in this shithole. Come on dollface." I was yanked up by my arm and I stumbled against Billy's frame; feeling the rumble of a chuckle beneath the palms of my hands.

"Too cock drunk already and I haven't even fucked you yet," he whispered smugly against my ear. I smacked his shoulder with a pout. Fuck, I really was drunk if I was pouting.

"You're so fucking mean Hargrove!" I protested rising to my full height attempting to seem a little soberer but the room spun from the amount of alcohol in my system and if it weren't for the stupid man's fast reflexes to catch me around my waist to steady me I'd probably have passed out on the fucking floor.

He mumbled something that I couldn't register as I nuzzled into his neck and wrapped my arms around his waist to keep myself upright. Billy gave really good hugs; did he know that? Hmm, I should tell him later. We'd never cuddled or hugged properly before so this was nice, like really nice. I hummed against the skin of his neck as I tightened my grip around his waist enjoying the feel of his hot body against my own.

"I'm sleepy Billy," I mumbled as my eyes fluttered looking up at him with half-lidded doe eyes. I couldn't register the look on his face but I couldn't deny the feeling that shot straight down to my core when his tongue came out to lick a stripe of wetness along his bottom lip as he gazed down at me seemingly frustrated and fighting something within his own head. I smiled up at him dreamily; almost taunting him to act on whatever was going on in that sexy mind of his.

"Do you know you're actually kinda hot Hargrove?" I commented my words slurred slightly.

Billy shook his head and hoisted my form up into his arms allowing my head to fall limpy against his shoulder. I watched with ever growing blurry eyes as we made our way out into the hallway and as we descended to the party below my eyes fluttered completely closed and the warmth of slumber engulfed me.

~

I didn't wanna open my eyes. My head was pounding like some little shit was inside my skull with one of those sledgehammers bashing my brain from inside over and over again. It hurt, hurt enough for my eyes to not want to wake up. Plus I was warm. Like really warm and comforting. There was a familiar scent that tickled my nose making my brain slowly start to wake to. It was familiar and yet it sent as many red flags to my body as it sent happy tingles. I forced an eye open to blurrily take a peek at my surroundings and my vision was filled with tanned skin. I blinked open my other eye before blinking again as I stared at the tanned shoulder that I could see in my immediate line of sight. My body seemed to freeze just as fast as my brain did when it slowly and sluggishly registered my predicament. What I thought was a mattress was…well not my mattress. Instead, I was lying on a chest. A warm and strong chest and the weight of an arm draped over my waist pinned me to the body beneath my own that I was using as a bed. Jesus, I ended up sleeping with some random dude from the party last night didn't I? Shit fuck goddamn it! Where was Steve last night? Why didn't he stop me from leaving with some jock? I could hardly remember anything from last night. The last thing I remembered was going inside the house for some more liquor after seeing Billy for the first time that night. Shit, Billy. What happened with Billy? I do remember a few brief encounters and glimpses of him across the room. I remember dancing, I remember drinking, and I remember fervent desperate kisses; hot and wet against my skin. That probably led to me being taken home with whomever I was using as a mattress right now for a quick drunken fuck.

Billy would seriously not let me live this down if he knew I left with some strangerrrr…..cue the sound of a record scratching when my eyes lifted to peer up at my fuck for the night. Scratch that…Billy wouldn't let me live this down…because he was that drunken fuck. Holy shit! Oh god! As carefully as I could I raised my upper half to peer down at the still passed-out Hargrove. Oof, okay so yeah there were definitely a lot more gaps missing in my memories than I thought as I stared down at his very naked chest realizing that it was scattered with bite marks in the shape of my teeth and purple red hickeys scattered not only along his chest but his neck too. Exhaling shakily I rolled off of his frame as much as I could without waking my best friend and peeked underneath the sheets to find yes; we were actually very naked. Sitting up a bit I ran a hand through my messy just fucked hair as I looked around the bedroom. His bedroom as a matter of fact. Clothes that we were wearing were scattered across the room and oh look condom wrappers. Yes, I said wrappers with a capital S at the end. Well at least he was smart enough to wear protection; that's good. Although, that won't help his ass when Steve finds out his rival slept with his baby sister. Fuck me sideways! I am not going to live this one down, am I?

I attempted to slide out of the bed but the figure beside me stirred and an arm dragged me back down to his chest. Kiss swollen lips pressing against my naked shoulder as Billy nuzzled into it sleepily. "It's Saturday. Sleep in." he grumbled.

"Heh, Saturday right." I quip back with a dry throat as I pulled at his grip trying to get out of bed.

It took him a moment to realize and I knew the moment that he did when his blue eyes snapped open and he stared up at me from where I sat on the edge of the bed. I had that awkward smile on my face as if silently saying 'Yeah fucker. Surprise.' but instead of freaking out like I had expected him to his face returned to that neutral gaze as his blue eyes scanned me from head to toe. and a small half hearted smirk tugging at his lips.

"Shit Harrington if I knew you were such a minx in bed I would have fucked you sooner." his comment made my face flush and I hid it behind my head.

"Omg Hargrove, no! Fuck don't say shit like that!" I protested. Holy cow was my best friend actually agreeable about the fact he fucked me?!

His hand reached out to grasp my wrist and he pulled me back on top of his chest with a cheeky grin on his face as he used his free hand to brush away the tangled H/C strands of my hair from my face and tuck it behind my ear. I couldn't deny the little tingle I got when those fingers traced down my jaw and along my neck; his gaze following the path to were no doubt hickeys were decorating my skin.

"You didn't have a problem when I said worse in bed darlin." he commented quirking a brow and I fought not to look away from his face.

"So you remember what happened last night?…that makes one of us." a frown tugged at his features and he tilted his head to study me a little more. Did he see the nervousness on my face?

"You were pretty drunk…" he mused a bit before dropping his hand to his face to scrub the sleep away. "You regret it." it was more of a statement than a question and my I opened my mouth to automatically reply to appease him but nothing came out.

"Yeah, I figured as much." he sat up taking me with him before he was getting out of bed to grab some clothes.

His dismissive attitude made me self conscious as I drew the sheets up to my neck as if the covers would hide me. But he didn't even look at me. He glanced at his clock and grunted a curse as he began tugging on some jeans. "Shit, I was supposed to drive Max to the skating park an hour ago." he yanked a random shirt from his drawers before snagging his wallet and keys from his dresser. "You can see yourself out." he shot over his shoulder right before his door slammed shut leaving me sitting there stunned.

Fuck, what just happened? Did Billy just ditch me? Well, fuck me. What was I supposed to expect whenever it was Billy Hargrove? Like I said, he went through girls like girls went through their closest, and here I was, being one of them. Just another notch on his bedpost. A glance up at one of the pillars made that fact sink deeper; oh yeah, literally just another notch in his bedpost. Holding back the tears I climbed from the bed and tried to find my scattered clothes. Once I had my attire back on I slipped out of his room and headed for the front door. The clearing of someone's throat made me halt in my tracks and I turned my head to see Mr. Hargrove sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee and reading a newspaper but now he was staring at me. Double fuck. The embarrassment turned into shame at being caught sneaking out of Billy's room and I didn't even say good morning as I darted out the door trying to force the tears of shame back down as I fled barefoot down the street.

#billy hargrove x y/n #billy stranger things #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things

[the-official-account]

Episode 1 liveblog

Mixing it up B) I want to know more things about this podcast and have friends in the earlier eps. So back to the start we go!

If you are said mutuals in the early episodes THIS IS NOT SPOILER FREE! You havd been warned. Also a lot of this is notes to self. So.

THE DOG THINGS WITH JACK WAS FORESHADOWED IN THE FIRST TEN MINUTES? Oh come on

WAIT for some reason I thought spar was the other person with 18 years in suits but no ofc it's jack!

Oh shit vellum scars right eye. I need to fix that in his art

"vellum is taller than spar and vellum's is a trans man" I may not have caught either of these details for like........15 more episodes? Maybe I don't speak English .....

HCODGSODHDKDDIDBE okay so vellum instantly thinks spars pretty but also *unreadable* (inch resting) and spar NOTICES I forgot how gay this shit starts off. I forgot about this package joke. 😂

Oh Spar is a bit of an asshole <3 "one of does imply there are other top agents as well"

AH JASPER AND JACK WERE WAR BUDDIES I keep being surprised the show is consistent, it's a mystery idk why I'm surprised

"vellum has no points In empathy so he may not be the best at reading people" hmm...hitting him with my autism beam.

"I think that vellum doesn't fully understand emotions and how they all work and conflict with eachother sometimes" HITTING HIM WITH MY AUTISM BEAM

"THE OTHER NAME IS MAXWELL BUT YOU CANT MAKE OUT THE LAST NAME" HEY WHAT THE FUCK.

I'm so curious about this flashback mission

I forgot how much spar did not want all of this to happen holy fuck dosgsksgsjdbd he's so rude <3

No wait why am I only just thinking the vellum autism thing??? Memorizing encyclopedias ass.

"it's signed with his signature handprint" JORDAN.

"I must be thinking of a different nephew. (He only has one nephew)" WELL FUCK. This one may not have been intentional but like. Whew.

In my brain there is nothing but 🥰low empathy autism vellum yayyyy 🥰

I REMEMBERED JORDAN ASKING IF VELLUM MENTIONED CLOVENHEART TO GREY AND I WASNT AT ALL SUSPICIOUS AT THE TIME

knowing what the plot cards jordan drew are and how they turned out is like !!!!

Gah sorel and spar can be so <3<3<3

jack was talking to thorne about spar going to clovenheart....HMMMMMMMMM

oh yikes I really did forget how awkward spar was about going back at first.

"are you gonna talk to anya" [looooong meaningul pause] HOUGH.

"good at what?" JHKLAJSHDKLSDFAKLSFH i love sorel i love sorel so much.

"she's blind" "Yeeeah but like she'll know" is SUCH a funny thing to hear when you don't know anya's deal.

so vellum likes apples and spar likes vintage musicals.

"I'll have a fucking normal to babysit"

"and maybe...you can use the normie to make anya jealous"

There's a lot about this situation which, knowing what I know, i hate, but I UNDERSTAND why spar would think and feel this way and on one hand i'm like YEAH THIS IS yeah this is relatable. on the other hand, i would THROW SO MANY HANDS for vellum.

JORDAN INTRODUCED DIAMOND SO FAST AFTER DRAWING THAT CARD??? WHAT??????

Man <3 early vellum and spar. I love them. I love them SO much. but holy SHIT this show is so well written what the fuck....

and ping! @threeheartscast

#edil liveblogs three of hearts #three of hearts #three of hearts pod #edil chats #edil is very tired now

[vermont-writes-fanfic]

Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing Chapter Two (Alucard x Reader)

Request: No

Warnings: Mentions of violence (it's Hellsing, what do you expect?), vampires, blood, cursing, weaponry, Alucard being an asshole, mentions of coffin/caskets, guns slight mention of non-conseual intercourse

Y/n

I stare at my ceiling, eyebrows furrowed as I try to concentrate on resuming my sleep. Why can’t I? Those words my father spoke to me earlier about him and mum keep repeating like some broken player in my head. It’s nearly maddening hearing him describe how she was so brutal and violent over and over and over again. With a groan I roll out of my bed and slip on some knee length socks before venturing out of my room. It’s always kept cold in the manor and it’s often the reason why many of the staff get sick. I quietly pad from my room to the far end of the hall down the stairs. It feels almost too easy. I reach out and twist the cold smooth handle of the door and twist the knob, only for it to stop about mid-way. Locked… I knew it was too easy, and as far as I know only three people have access to the basement: Alucard, my father, and Sir Integra, oh and Seras so that makes four. Who would the key be easiest to snag from?

“Looks like the little lamb has escaped her pen in favour of wandering around,” a deep voice I know all too well says from behind me.

I’d be a liar of I said he didn’t scare me, so I suppose I’m a liar because I will never admit such a thing.

“How many times must I insist you don’t fucking call me that?” I ask with a huff turning around and glaring up at him. “And I thought you were dead, dead people don’t grow so why are you so tall?”

At that he chuckles and I huff, not everything I say is so bloody funny that he as to laugh all the time. It makes me feel as if I missing out on some important joke. I move from under his form and as I do so I snag the key from his pocket, it may not be a good trait to have but I learned to pick pockets around the mansion, I do it in favour of causing a little chaos in my boring life here. I particularly like to take things from Sir Integra and have Alucard go on a little hunt for them, he still hasn’t found that pocket watch I took last year, its my proudest little heist I’ve done yet.

“Alucard, I’ve a question.” 

“Hm?” “How is it,” I start as I walk back over to the door and unlock it, “that you are centuries old and dno’t know when something has been stolen from you?”

I just hear a slight shuffle before a gloved hand comes into view and I drop the key on it.  

“Clever little lamb, do be carfuling stealing a vampires things. You might find that one is cursed,”

I shrug and ignore his words, he just loves to be all mysterious. I guess the books are right when they say vampires are like shadows and like to try and confuse people. I didn’t wake up late in the night to come and talk to him., I don’t believe I ever would. I open the door and shiver slightly as a gust of cold air rushes past me, I’m surprised that the door doesnt creak when I open it. Well should I really be, my father is diligent in his work as a butler around the place. The first step past the door frame makes me shiver and suddenly I wish I was wearing more than a night gown and some knee socks, the stone is cold and rough even through the socks. The first few steps make me realise maybe its best to do this in the daylight, but I reason that Alucard is more likely to be down here in the daylight hours. The deeper I descend down the dark stair way the smoother the stone becomes, the colder the air becomes, the more the hairs on my neck stand up. My hand runs along the wall, rough stone bricks guiding my down the case of stairs until I reach the bottom. There is something about this place the scream familiarity but that very well may be the call of sleep too. I walk down the corridor until I feel the urge to turn, and I do so. This happens for what seems like ages until a door finally shows some sort of light, in the room it seems to be some sort of secret entrance to the side of the estate…no this is an opening. There is an intricate system of halls, like a labyrinth, many ways stemming from this one faintly lit place. It’s so odd. I step on something wet that makes me stop and look down, but I don’t need to look to know what I stepped in. The metallic smell of rusted pennied had hit me long before I entered the room, but looking down at my white socks it is rather clear that it is blood I stepped in. It must be so moist down here that it never got the chance to evaporate. There is no way that this is recent, there is no body and it is sticky.

“Walter had quite the time down here with your mother, I know he’s told you tales of their time here.” His voice irritates me for some reason and I feel as if he shouldn’t be down here.

“Did he tell you that this is where she spent her last moments?”

“Your lying. Your filthy mouth tells nothing but lies, she wouldn’t die down here in this forgetten place.” I say defiantly. I refuse to believe that this is where she died, father always told me that she had died fighting for hellsing, not to one of her little playthings.

“Oh am I? Well if nothing I say is the truth then it won’t hurt to finish-” I cut him off, eyes searching for him in the dark, the bastard! “Don’t you dare finish talking you walking leech! You have no right to lie about such an awful thing! Its not your place even if you are telling the truth!”

“Your mother died down here to a particularly fiesty vampire youngling, not even to a true child of the night. He violated her, tore apart her clothes while his partner made Walter watch, they took her and when she couldn’t take any more they bit her. Poor Walter couldn’t handle it, he tore apart every single ghoul and vampire he could get his hands on after wards. Starting with your mother.”

I feel him appear by me and my first reaction is to hit at him and I do. I hit and punch and kick at him screaming curse and anything else my mind can come up with to scream at him.  

“That wasn’t your place! How could you! You liar! That’s all a lie! She wouldn’t-he wouldnt let that happen! He wouldn’t…how could he let that happen?” My screams and cries are reduced to silent juttering motions of my body, breathing labored as the cold from the basment seeps into my bones, my vision begins to fade slowly as I finally feel tired enough to fall asleep. I don’t want to fall asleep in this liars arms so i push my self away, stumbling to the ground. My vision catches a glimpse of a stone slab, it reads: In loving memory of Y/M/N ‘Black Widow’ L/n; Hellsings second most valubed asset and number one mother.

I really hope that you're enjoying this for anyone who is reading it! Always feel free to hand me some criticism and request something. My box is open!

#Alucard #sir integra #walter dornez #hellsing #anime fanifction #wolf in sheep's clothing #chapter two #x reader #y/n #alucard x reader #alucard imagine #hellsing alucard #alucard fanfiction #alucard x y/n #violence #blood #seras victoria #fanfic #fanfiction #Alucard x reader

[mousmoula]

my thoughts (and prayers) on shadow & bone season 2:

(spoilers ahead, mostly about the crows, also i haven't watched the last 2 eps yet, i'll reblog with anything else when i do)

i LOVED wesper but holy fuck did they rush the fuck out of their relationship

i'm too lazy to retype it but i summed it up adequately here earlier:

the other tags i wanted to put here aren't in english so tldr: in the books, wylan and jesper's relationship is founded in their mutual respect for and admiration of each others' strengths, intelligence and genuine trust that they can do so much more than they allow themselves to. this type of relationship takes time to build, time which this show absolutely did not give them. that being said, again—i doubt the creators thought they would have the time to begin with (see tags above) and i don't really blame them for rushing it.

also... so many iconic scenes from soc AND ck lost 😭 i liked how they recreated some of them in the context of the show but some others i'll miss forever

on the plus side, we may not have gotten "just girls?" "no, not just girls" but we did get jesper recognising wylan only after he's on top on him,,, other stuff so i can't really complain lol. i enjoyed it!

wylan felt quite underdeveloped to me, plus he was reduced to his relationship with jesper, barely existed outside of it and didn't interact almost at all with anyone else. it HURTS me soul, last 2 eps better fix this.

i loved matthias making friends with his cell mate 😭

pekka rollins was a good villain in the books but they made him truly horrible in this one like jesus christ there was NO reason for him to be that bad. not complaining though! i like a good villain. i also want to see him crucified

KAZ BREKKER AND HIS LOVELY, BEAUTIFUL, INCREDIBLE BRAIN

no but i love how, once you learn enough about kaz, he's so... easy to read? as a character? every single plan of his so far this season i've been able to predict and it brings me such joy every time. this isn't me saying he was predictable, in fact i think they got his funky little brain very correctly and i loved that. they didn't get everything perfectly with him but i think his plans were super well-thought through and it reminded me how much i adore this asshole (affectionate)

where the hell was jesper's gambling addiction during this season.......... i was so happy with how they dealt with it during s1 and now 6 eps in it hasn't been mentioned in the slightest

his conflict with being a durast was also handled a bit badly, mainly because there was hardly any conflict at all 😭

overall sad with how jesper's character was dealt with, he's one of my favourites and i'm pretty frustrated lol

KANEJ<333333

i could write an essay on why i love and adore every single one of the crows basically

GENYA LOVE OF MY LIFE

i love her so much she didn't deserve all this crap i'm SO upset with her backstory with the king ew

how tf do people like alina and the darkling together lmao there's no romance there 😭

NIKOLAI IS EVERYTHING TO ME ACTUALLY i haven't read shadow and bone but i loved his character so much

think i've said this before but when he appeared in crooked kingdom i pictured him in my head as the duke of weselton (or however tf that's spelt) from frozen. make of that what you will.

TOLYA AND TAMAR'S INTRO WAS THE COOLEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER WATCHED i rewatched it so many times 😭 absolutely incredible characters, i love them

i feel so bad but among everything else i really couldn't care about the whole darkling and alina plot... mal being the firebird, nikolai's crew, baghra's sacrifice, genya trying to redeem herself etc were all very interesting arcs and i cared very much about them but the main plot about alina and kirigan and the problems between them. i just. Do Not Care

tolya and jesper's "friendship" so to say was lovely

i'll genuinely clip tolya and tamar's intro and tattoo it on my forehead i'm listening to the soundtrack now and i'm losing my head it was so GOOD

kaz better mention van eck by the end of the season i NEED them to set this plot up for when (if) we get s3 or a soc spin-off

the fold was such a good world-building part last season but we barely saw it this time. i fucking miss the fold. what's life

the whole season felt very,,, transitional, maybe? so we better fucking get another one. netflix i'm watching you and you better fucking prove me wrong

where the fuck is fedyor 😭 and (because i care about fedyor's happiness) where the fuck is ivan

me: damn i hope vasily dies he's annoying as fuck

vasily: *dies a good 10 seconds later*

overall: generally happy with this season, upset with what they did to the crows, still hyped to finish the last 2 eps and share more thoughts (and prayers)

if you watch the series with the mindset that it's a completely separate thing (from six of crows/crooked kingdom) and just to have fun, you're guaranteed that much, in my opinion. it's fun and i can ignore the stuff i'm upset about because i can re-read soc anytime so yeah!

#long post #my apologies #shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers #six of crows

[diamondcitydarlin]

So I quit that job I mentioned earlier lol, I hadn't done work for this particular company since the pandemic and it became very clear, very quickly that what was already tenuous, chaotic circumstances before all that has only rapidly deteriorated further since. There was no discernable like, assigned Project Manager for this nonsense, just like four separate people making decisions behind each other's backs, over each other's heads, so the situations with everything were constantly changing and in this chaos no one bothered to communicate any of these changes with me (probably because they weren't communicating with each other) while just sort of expecting me to keep up and hit the notes that no one wanted to make clear in the first place. Like, "well why isn't this done?" "uh because idiot #3 said this script wasn't finalized, I mean not to me personally but openly in the chat to everyone" "WE CAN STILL USE THIS SCRIPT" "UHM NO WE CAN'T NOT UNTIL ITS FINALIZED SO WHEN IS THAT GOING TO HAPPEN" "IDK ASK IDIOT #2 WHO NEVER ANSWERS THEIR DMS ANYWAY" like what the actual fuck?? I was already getting so stressed out by this lack of any sense of cohesion whatsoever, but my breaking point was on Sunday when I had made it clear I wasn't going to be available and everyone was like yea yea cool that's fine (like, literally I live on land I'm responsible for upkeeping in the middle of the mountains now, if I step out of my house and into the depths of the property I am OUT OF SERVICE and I made it clear this was going to be the case MULTIPLE TIMES) and one of the bitches that's been going behind everyone's back and over their heads etc and is also some boomer lady with too much time on her hands CALLS ME FOUR TIMES BEFORE 7 AM ON SUNDAY TO ASK WHERE I AM AND WHAT I'M DOING like mam? You're not even my boss (hasn't stopped her from trying to treat me like her 20-something unpaid intern assistant though) and I made it clear multiple times that I'm not going to be available today "Well you're gonna have to be because we're very behind" AND THAT'S -MY- FAULT? THE ONE PERSON WHO HAS BEEN DOING THEIR ACTUAL JOB? I was just like yeah you know what actually I'm done with this as of today, pay me what I'm owed and don't contact me again

the worst part is that when I agreed to come on to help with this it was never communicated to me that I was going to be expected to be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (bc literally this boomer lady with no boundaries would be texting me at 10 pm on Friday for no reason bc she has nothing better to do with her life) to a group of people that don't know their mouths from their assholes and are just using this a pissing contest with each other while treating me like absolute shit and getting absolutely nothing done. It has NEVER been this bad. I also wasn't told that I'd be treated like an intern despite very much not being hired as one and well past the time in this career path where that'd be an appropriate role for me. Like, I wasn't made aware of any of this bullshit before agreeing to HELP OUT.

That's the other shitty thing, is that this was to HELP OUT a professional friend that I've done many fun and successful productions with- and where is he through all of this? Mostly not there. Mostly just not available. Not communicating with me or anyone else. I'm not speaking to him now because I really feel like he threw me to the wolves with this one despite the many MANY times in our working relationship that I had gone out on limb for him and the times he had done the same for me! Thought we were cooler than this! GUESS NOT.

I'm somewhat disappointed with myself for accepting this in the first place knowing what I do of that company's bullshit (tho in my defense as I said, it had never been quite THIS bad) but mostly I'm disappointed with myself for once again thinking I could trust someone lol like DO I NOT KNOW BETTER? AFTER ALL THIS TIME OF PEOPLE FUCKING ME OVER, TREATING ME LIKE A NON-PRIORITY? AFTER SWEARING TO NOT DO THAT TO MYSELF ANYMORE? Unbelievable that I could be so naive!

But I think anger is due at these careless type of people too, idc how useless it is, how little it's going to change anything about them. Like where does one get the gall to treat someone they barely know, who does not report to them in a subservient capacity, as though they're Miranda Priestly and I'm their little underpaid assistant? Where does one get the gumption to think it's okay to violate work hour boundaries that were made explicitly clear before being hired? In all my days working in this industry (and maybe I got lucky a million times) I have never been treated with such disrespect for my own time, especially in a situation where NO ONE has the right to be ordering anyone else around.

I don't deserve that, and honestly neither would an inexperienced 20-year old (which I am very much not). Incredible. Unbelievable that in this day and age where people are not putting up with work place bullshit that there could still be some asshole doing it anyway, violating boundary after boundary without a care in the fucking world.

Yeah well suck on this, lady, now you have to do all the work yourself because I don't need this job in the first place as I have several others that actually pay well and don't treat me like crap. Eat shit uwu

#personal job stuff lol #me complaining about shitty workplaces and lack of boundaries and why i quit #'nO onE waNts tO woRk aNymOre' yea bc no one wants to treat their employees with any amount of respect either #also the talent i was excited to work with on this turned out to be a dick which is not unexpected but still shitty #don't need him or yall byyyeee

[an-emotional-blender]

Calum Hood - Make Me Feel Okay

This is the first smut I've ever written so please tell me if it's shit. This is also the longest one I've ever written so hopefully you enjoy xx

Blurb // Masterlist

3.1k words

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

God. Do they ever shut up? All I hear all day, every day is their loud, obnoxious fucking voices. I can't stand them.

"Y/N!" Ignore him. "Y/NNNNN"

"Oh my gosh what do you want?" I rush out, probably a little more aggressively than I should have but he just gets on my nerves.

"Woah. Calm down, sunshine. " Ryan walks over to me, standing behind as he leans down and puts his hands on the table either side of me, trapping me against him. "I just want to ask what you think."

"About what, Ryan?"

"Were you really not listening?"

"I try not to. Your voice gives me migraines." He now leans down lower, so his mouth is hovering over my ear, his voice low as he whispers.

"Ouch. You wound me. Kinda hot." I shiver with disgust as he stands up and winks at me before sitting down next to Stacey. "We were talking about what we're gonna do to that weird Asian kid today."

I roll my eyes at him and take a bite of my sandwich as anger boils up inside me. "Why don't you just leave the poor kid alone?" The whole table erupts in fits of laughter and I just stare at them, waiting for them to stop. "I'm serious! What did he ever do to you? He actually seems like a really cool kid." Stacey snickers before turning to me, popping her gum and sticking it underneath the table. Gross.

"Do you like your spot on the dance team?" Fuck, here we go.

"Yes, Stacey. I do." I reply with annoyance evident in my tone.

"Well then I suggest you shut your stupid little mouth before it gets you kicked out. I will not have someone on my team that thinks people like him are "really cool". Understand?"

"Whatever." With that, I walk away to my next class.

They're a bunch of low life assholes who need to get a fucking life. They make everyone miserable. Including me.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

The final bell goes, signalling the end of the day, but I stay in my seat because my teacher is a bitch and gave me detention for no apparent reason.

Did I mention she's a bitch?

Luckily, I'm able to use my immaculate grades against her and she releases me after 15 minutes. By now most people have left the grounds so the halls are empty as I walk to my locker. As I walk closer, I start to hear yelling and what sounds like…sobbing? What the fuck?

As I turn the corner, I see my 'friends' surrounding someone, as they crouch on the floor sobbing. I get closer to them and see it's Calum, the 'weird Asian kid' they were talking about earlier.

Those fuckers.

"Hey! Leave him alone!"

They all turn and look at me. Shocked.

"Why do you care so much?" Stacey asks in her usual annoying, high pitched voice.

"Cause he's a human being and quite frankly I am so fucking sick of you lot walking around like you're top shit. You are a self intitled douche bags that are going to be very fucking lonely in life. Now walk away before I break your stupid fucking faces."

They're scared. They should be. They better fucking run. And they did.

Good.

Crouching down to Calum's height, I move his hair away from his face and wince when I see the damage they've done.

"It's okay. I'm gonna help you."

He looks at me. There are tears in his big, beautiful brown eyes.

"I'm gonna make you feel okay."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

I brought Calum to my house so he could shower and I could clean him up. He was a little bit hesitant but I kept reassuring him that I'm not like others. I want to help him.

I hear the water turn off as I enter my bedroom with clothes for him to change into.

Knocking on the bathroom door, I call out to him. "Hey, I got you some of my brothers clothes since yours have blood on them." I wait a few seconds before the door opens slightly and his arms comes out, taking the clothes, and I hear a faint thankyou as he closes the door again. "Once you're done, let me know and I'll have a look at those cuts on your face." I wait a few moments and get no response so I keep talking to fill the silence. "Hey, I'm really sorry about what happened. I tried to get them to stop but they're assholes and I didn't kn-"

"It's fine. It's not the first time they've done it." The bathroom door flies open and I see Calum standing there, less bloody and his head towards the ground.

"How bad is it?" I try to keep my voice level and calm as to not scare him, but when I don't get a response, I put a finger under his chin and lift his head up, cringing at the cuts, grazes and bruises all over his tan skin. "Shit, Cal. I'm so sorry. Here sit on the edge of the bathtub and I'll clean these up properly so they don't get worse." He remains silent as he sits down and I start to rummage through the cupboards looking for rubbing alcohol and patches to keep his wounds together. "This is going to sting."

"I know. My sister normally does it for me." I don't say anything, in fear that my voice would fail me, and continue to patch him up. For the first time since I brought him here, his eyes meet mine and I halt my movements. "Why are you helping me? I mean I know you don't like the people that did this to me but surely you have something better to do than patch up the 'weirdo Asian kid' as they so eloquently call me." He chuckles quietly and my heart breaks. "I'm not even Asian but I mean why would such a pretty, popular person like you even wanna be seen with me?" His eyes fill with sadness as he speaks and it takes me a moment to find the words to reply to him.

"Well, I feel as though I have an obligation to help you so you don't think I'm a total monster." I pause and look directly into his eyes and lose all ability to think. "You have really pretty eyes holy shit."

He laughs and looks at the ground again before look back at me. "Well, you have really pretty everything." I feel my cheeks start to blush and see the pink tinge on his face start to match mine as well. I become extremely aware of how close our faces are and decide to do something about the tension that is currently building in the room.

"Calum?"

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?" His eyes widen slightly and I see his adams apple bob before he nods.

Not wanting to scare him, I softly put my hands on either side of his face before leaning in to close the gap between us. His lips are soft against my own and he quickly melts into the kiss. Wanting to deepen it a little bit more, I slide my hands up to his hair, tangling my fingers in his soft locks, causing a soft moan to escape his lips. Taking this as a sign to try and deepen the kiss even further, I swipe my tongue across his bottom lip. He parts his lips enough for me to slide my tongue into his mouth, moaning in the process at how good his mouth feels against mine.

Much to my dismay, he pulls away and looks at me almost panicked, breathing heavily. "I- I've never done this." His voice is weak and almost embarrassed at the confession, as he drops his head. It makes me giggle and I lift his head to meet my eyes once again.

"I kinda figured that much. But that's okay. I can help you, if you want." I can feel my heart start to beat faster as I start to think about what I just said. Who tf offers to take someone's virginity after their ex-friend group beats the shit out of him? "I'm sorry. That was a stupid suggestion. You can go if you w-" I'm cut off again by Calum standing up from the edge of the bathtub and smashing his lips against mine. I'm taken off guard by his sudden height change, since he's quite a bit taller than me.

"I want to. Please." I can't form words as he continues to kiss my lips and pulls away to elaborate. "Make me feel okay."

We start making out again as we make our way to my bedroom and I silently thank the fact that my family decided to go on holiday without me. As we reach the bedroom, I gently push Calum on the bed, climbing onto his lap after he situates himself against the headboard. "What do you wanna do?" I speak softly against his lips, wanting to give him the choice of what we do.

"C-can you…" he hesitates but looks down at his lap so I get the idea of what he wants.

"You want me to suck you off, Cal?" I only get a small nod and 'mhm' in response. "M'kay, baby." I press my lips to his and start to trail down to his jawline, pressing light kisses against his tan skin as I play with the hem of the shirt he borrowed from my brother, pulling it up over his head, and throwing it to the floor. I have to bite my lip to stop myself from moaning as my eyes fall on his toned abdomen.

I press light kisses down his body, paying extra attention to his abs, drawing a moan out of his mouth as I reach the top of his pants. His breath hitches as I pop the button of his skinny jeans and pulling them down his long legs. I start to palm him through his boxers, making him let out a loud moan. Palming him makes me realise how big he is and I suddenly become very eager to see him. Pulling down his boxers, his dick springs up against his stomach, making him hiss at the sudden cold air. Fuck he's even bigger than I thought. I start to palm him again, making sure he's fully hard before he stops my actions.

"Y-You have too many clothes on." Sitting up properly, he puts his hands under my shirt, pulling it over my head and going straight to undoing my bra. "Fuck. You're so beautiful, holy shit." He mumbles under his breath, pressing light kisses along my collarbone. I start stroking his dick again and his head falls back, hitting against the headboard, as moans fall from his mouth.

Bringing my head down, I suck gently on his tip before taking all of him in my mouth, bobbing my head up and down at a steady pace. I moan around his cock as he lets out a loud, pornographic moan and the vibrations go through him, making him buck his hips up, hitting the back of my throat and making me gag.

"Shit sorry. I-I didn't mean to do that. It just felt so good that-fuuuuck." His rant is cut short by me deepthroating him so that my nose is against his pelvis. "Shit, Y/N. I'm gonna cum." I quickly pull off of him, making him whine and swear at me.

"I don't want you cumming until you're inside me, Cal." He looks at me and gulps as he processes my words but doesn't respond to me. "Are you ready for that or do you want something else?"

"I-I wanna taste you." Without hesitation, I lay down next to Cal on the bed as he gets between my legs. "What do I do?" He looks shyly at me as he asks and I can’t help but giggle at how cute he is. Grabbing a hold of his hands, I bring them to each of my thighs.

"Whatever you think will make feel good, baby." His hands start caressing my thighs, his thumb rubbing circles into my skin with just the right amount of pressure. He leans forward and starts kissing at my neck, sucking and biting as he makes his way down my body, leaving hickies here and there. He then starts kissing up and down my thighs, getting agonisingly close to my heat before moving back up. "Cal you are really driving me insane here, holy shit."

"In a good way?" He mumbles against my skin, hands getting closer and closer to where I need him most.

"In an amazing fucking way." I'm caught off guard as I suddenly feel his thumb run through my slit, brushing against my clit. I moan his name and he looks at me with a smug look on his face and does it again. I start to whine as he takes his hand away only to replace it with his tongue. "Holy fuck, Cal that feels so good." He continues licking stipes up and down my slit then starts flicking his tongue on my clit, sending me into a frenzy.

He drags his index finger along my entrance and, while still going ham on my clit, looks up at me to get my permission. I quickly nod at him wanting nothing more than to feel his fingers inside me. He slowly pushes his finger inside me and sets a fast pace. Feeling me clench around his one finger, he adds a second, making my back arch off the bed. I then start to feel that blissful feeling bubble inside my stomach. "Calum, I'm gonna cum, fuck I'm gonna cum so hard." His fingers start going faster inside of me and he starts sucking even harder on my clit.

Just before I let go, he stops. Pulling his fingers out of me and stopping the movements of his mouth, he sits up and kisses me sloppily as I whine at him for stopping when I was so close. He looks at me and chuckles before mocking me with my own words from earlier. "I don't want you cumming until I'm inside you, baby." I roll my eyes at him before flipping us over so I'm straddling his waist again.

"What happened to Mr Shy Virgin Guy?"

"He's long gone baby." He still has that stupid smug smirk on his face and he looks at me and I see nothing but adoration and lust in his once sad eyes.

"Not yet he's not." He looks at me slightly confused, until I start stroking his cock and rubbing it against my folds. "He's still a virgin."

"Well, we better fix that shall we." I look him directly in the eyes and sink down onto him as we both let out loud moans. My hands are on his shoulders and his on my hips as I start bouncing up and down on him, my boobs bouncing in his face. He takes advantage of this position and takes one nipple in his mouth, then switches to the other.

Due to this being his first time and him teasing me, we are both very close to reaching our highs already. I clench around him and he bucks his hips making me moan against his skin as I lay my head on his shoulder. "Do that again. That felt so good." He thrusts his hips up again repeatedly, matching my rhythm and soon we're both moaning messes, riding out our highs together as I fall limp against his glistening body.

After getting cleaned up, we lay in my bed, my head against chest and his arm around my waist. We both stare at each other, content, then suddenly I hear my doorbell ring. I get up, putting my dress back on and go and see who's at the door. Standing there is the douchiest douchebag ever to exist in douchville, Ryan Ascot. I scowl at him as he just invites himself into my house turning around and looking at me expectantly.

"What do you want, Ryan." Annoyance and anger is evident in my voice and I hope he picks up on the fact that I don't want him here.

"I came to see what that little show was about earlier. Why were you sticking up for that weirdo?" His voice just makes me wanna punch him in the face.

"It wasn't a 'show', dickface. You are just an entitled prick. He has never once done anything to you. Has he?" I look at him waiting for an answer and, surprise surprise, he can’t give me one. "He is a nice person and doesn't deserve anything you guys have done to him. Now please leave." I step to the side and wait for him to leave but instead he just walks up to me and stands super close to me, leaning down so he's close to my face.

"I don't think you actually want me to leave, Sweetheart. You know I can make you feel good. Make you forget this ever happened." I'm just about to say something as I hear a deep voice emerge from behind Ryan, making me smile.

"I think she asked you to leave mate." Calum stands at the top of the stairs, with no shirt on, looking incredibly hot and smug.

"Oh really. What are you gonna do about it weirdo?" Calum walks up to us and I realise for the first time that Calum is actually taller than Ryan and now that he's found his confidence, he looks like he could actually take on Ryan.

"I'm not gonna fight you. I'm just gonna make you sit there and listen to me absolutely destroying her the way you wish you could and the way I was 10 minutes ago." He has a smirk on his face and I can tell that he means every word he says. "So you gonna leave now?" Ryan doesn't move. "Righto well we're gonna go back upstairs. You can either make yourself at home and listen or you can get lost. Your choice." With that, Cal grabs my arm and pulls me back upstairs.

I have no clue if Ryan left or not but I do know that we went two more rounds and Calum did in fact absolutely destroy me.

#Calum Hood #Calum #Hood #cal pal #c-dizzle-swizzle #virgin!cal #smut #5sos #5 seconds of summer #\

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

Running on Empty

(Trigger Warnings: descriptions of hunger pangs/cravings, cramped/crowded space, mentions of eating, cannibalism, talk of murder, implications of illegal business, implied death/murder, strong language. Please let me know if I missed anything.)

(My beloved scrungly EgoPat is back, and this time, we get to see his cravings in action. This little drabble was inspired by one lovely Knife Anon, who has worked wonders for my validation. If you want to learn more about Caliban, go here. If you’d like to learn more about the mob he and Murdock work for, go here. Murdock/Murderplier belongs to the Markiplier Cinematic Universe, but if you’re interested in my personal headcanons on him, go here. And, last but certainly not least, to learn more about R.D., go here.)

Somewhere among the Cove Port Inlets, a cannibal was trapped in a department store.

Well, not literally, but he certainly felt trapped. The elevator car he was currently riding in would’ve been cramped even without all the other people he was having to share the space with.

Most would assume that cannibals and crowded areas didn’t mix well together, and for the most part, they’d be right.

But in Caliban’s case, that normally wasn’t too much of a problem.

Caliban prided himself on being responsible. The authorities around here were generally pretty useless, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be careful with his habits. He’d organized a whole agenda just to keep his cravings in check. He typically didn’t have to worry about his urges unless he knew it was safe to give in to them.

That was actually why he and Murdock had started working together so long ago; too many disappearances happening in short succession of one another would cause suspicion in the community. Therefore, the hitman also had a schedule to stick to, which perfectly aligned with the cannibal’s meal-planning.

Or, at least, it USUALLY did.

Murdock had contacted him earlier, had promised to deliver a dead body in a few hours. That delivery was the reason Caliban had made this shopping trip in the first place. He’d been running low on some of his favorite herbs and spices, and he’d been eager to use them. He’d been excitedly waiting to make some deviled spleen with a side of simmered tongue (he’d also entertained the idea of putting all other edible organs into a stew for later).  

But NOOOOOOOO, no, no, no! It just COULDN’T be that easy!

Caliban grimaced at his cellphone, at the most recent exchange of his and Murdock’s encrypted messages.

So, I’ve got some bad news, Murdock had texted while Caliban had been paying for his new seasonings.

What, did you have to use a last-minute explosive on the target? Caliban had responded. If so, just bring some of the least-charred pieces. You know I’m not too picky.

Murdock had replied, No, I couldn’t have afforded to do something like that. And even if you were a picky eater, it wouldn’t matter.

Caliban asked, What’s that supposed to mean? He hadn’t gotten an immediate response, so after leaving the kitchen supply area, he’d tried again: Doc? What exactly are you saying right now?

A few more moments of silence passed after that, but by then, Caliban had finally connected the dots. (It’d only taken him so long because he didn’t want what he’d predicted to be true.)

You let the target get away, didn’t you? He’d eventually inquired. And boy howdy, did that get a quick reply.

I didn’t LET him get away! Due to the lack of things like facial expression and body language, reading someone’s emotions via text was usually pretty difficult. Not in this case, since Murdock took great pride in his work. Either the informants got something wrong in their analysis, or every potential witness in a hundred mile radius just randomly decided to come out of the fucking woodwork. Whichever the case, it’s not MY fault that the asshole’s still alive!

Something tells me you’re still gonna drink from that special mug, Caliban had texted, thinking of Murdock’s favorite coffee cup, which proclaimed IT’S ONLY MURDER IF THEY FIND A BODY—OTHERWISE IT’S JUST A MISSING PERSON in a bold, bright red font. Good job getting my hopes up.

Look, you’re not the only person losing out because of this. I’M gonna have to get reprimanded sooner or later. YOU are just gonna have to be a little more patient for once.

“For once,” huh? This wasn’t the first time Murdock had failed to kill a target. Granted, the other times were few and far between. Plus, Caliban’s frustration had been a bit easier to deal with since his accomplice hadn’t decided to just wait until the last minute to let him know.

It seemed like today really was just one of those days.

I’ve already got a couple more hits lined up. You’ll be getting some new grub in a month or so. Think about that before you complain next time. It was evident that Murdock had been trying to calm himself. You couldn’t be a killer-for-hire if you couldn’t keep an even head on your shoulders. (That was one of the stranger aspects of this line of work.) In other words: BITE ME.  

The hasty addition of “figuratively” never came. So, Caliban had decided to be cheeky. Is that a challenge?

Murdock was strong and an experienced fighter, but the fact that Caliban worked more on the body-disposal side of the spectrum nowadays did not mean he was a stranger to violence. The former still had scars on his knuckles from his and the latter’s very first altercation.

(Murdock had decked Caliban in the face, but he’d obviously never fought someone who would respond to being punched by grabbing hold of their assailant’s wrist and chomping down on said assailant’s hand. Just like how Caliban had never bitten into someone whose blood had a kick so similar to cinnamon. . .or capsaicin, maybe.) 

That message remained unanswered. Murdock had been infuriatingly prudent enough to disable the Read receipts that would’ve come with his text messages.

Caliban stuffed his phone into his pocket, trying to back even further into the corner he’d already claimed.

His head told him that Murdock was an accomplished killer; it was highly unlikely that he’d lose his future target. Nobody was perfect, and that definitely applied to murderers.

His stomach argued that Murdock was an irresponsible moron and it was his fault that the rest of Caliban’s day was now going to suck.

All in all, there were pretty good points on either side of the coin.

Caliban pursed his lips as a rumbling, pinching, gnawing sensation manifested in the pit of his belly. His shoulders slumped as his frustration invited some good ol’ fashioned dread to keep it company.

Oh, right. The urges. . .

Caliban took a deep breath and reminded himself that a single corpse was still a practical treasure-trove of flesh and organs. And since it didn’t take an Einstein to properly store meat, Caliban’s pantry was never empty. Even though the fresh-is-always-best rule applied to more than just seafood.

He had some human remains at home.

He could still appease his appetite without Murdock’s help.

He just. Had to. Get out. Of this. Damn. Elevator.  

Since he couldn’t afford to stare at the people he was trapped with, Caliban found himself gazing at the little signs adorning the space around the elevator’s door and buttons. The most prominent of these signs displayed a simple drawing of a stick-figure walking down a staircase, with a bright orange flame at the top of the stairs.

In spite of his frustration, Caliban raised an eyebrow at this. People seriously still didn’t know how dangerous it was to use an elevator in the event of a fire?

He thought of how easily the ventilation shaft would go through the Chimney Effect, thought of how quickly the metal framework of the car would heat up. Thought of how smoke could make meat more tender via breaking down the collagen inside. . .thought of how the color of flesh would shift from bright pinkish-red to differing shades of brown the longer it roasted. . .thought of how fat would eventually liquify as more heat was applied—

GgglRRRRkkkk…

The sound instantly snapped Caliban back into reality. That, and the feeling of something warm around his mouth that definitely hadn’t been there before. Blinking, Caliban realized that his face had subconsciously shifted into an open smile. This, in turn, had allowed a few drops of saliva to escape his lips. He could practically feel the blood rushing under his skin as he raised a hand to wipe at his mouth with his thumb.

The initial disappointment Caliban had felt was mostly gone (although stress, impatience, and some mild-but-kind-of-quickly-growing panic had taken its place, which wasn’t a very positive development). But Caliban’s stomach didn’t really know how to give a damn about that. What it did know how to do was to make itself seem to be squirming of its own accord inside Caliban’s abdomen.

Which didn’t feel pleasant. At all.

He didn’t dare look at the elevator’s other passengers, despite knowing that a few had definitely turned their heads to glance at him. What did they expect him to do? Apologize? For something that he had no control over? Were these really the types who got offended whenever they saw another person in discomfort?

Of course they were. Hell, they probably didn’t even know what discomfort actually felt like. Caliban hadn’t needed much time to analyze their clothing, their demeanors, their freshly-purchased goods. Even if he hadn’t been so skilled in observation, it would’ve been easy to guess that the people he was trapped with were the fortunate kind.

They probably led happy little stress-free lives, probably ate more than three multiple-course meals a day. They likely hadn’t grown up with the constant threat of food being withheld from them. They could be categorized under the human equivalent of Free-Range.

GwwwuuuOOOOOORRRBL. . .

Caliban could’ve sworn his intestines had just twitched. He closed his eyes and sighed through his nose. He chewed at the inside of his cheek; his teeth felt just a tad too sharp.

He didn’t even know the person responsible for this building’s architecture—for the idiotic amount of time this elevator apparently took for each trip—and he still desperately wanted to butcher them and caramelize their kidneys.

___

After what sincerely felt like a few days since he’d finally gotten out of the department store, Caliban parked by one of many curbs in the downtown area. He was shaking as he exited his car and headed for the entrance to his house.

His hunger had been steadily getting worse and worse for the duration of the drive (because why the hell would it have gotten better?). 

The very millisecond the front door was securely closed and locked behind him, Caliban’s facade got the hell out of Dodge. He sprinted across the house to the hidden door in his closet, and it was a legitimate miracle that he didn’t trip on his way down the passageway to his subway tunnel security office turned macabre kitchen/dining room combo.

He ripped the refrigerator open, and there it was: a portion of flesh he’d sliced from the thigh of Murdock’s latest target, hanging from a small meat hook he’d attached to the top shelf.

This particular appetizer had already been cured—he’d put it through both a dry rub and a few brine injections—and hanging was a great way to improve the flavor via letting natural enzymes break down the tissues.

It was a good thing Caliban always had the foresight to prepare his food ahead of time, because right now he was at the point where it wouldn’t have mattered if the meat was raw or not. The only thing that mattered was that. He. ATE.

Caliban wrenched the morsel off, leaving the meat hook to sway to and fro as he leaned against the wall, opened wide, and sank his teeth into the flesh.

MRGH-GRK

The meat was, unsurprisingly, cold. It had the expected metallic tang, but the texture was a bit more serumy than it probably should’ve been. The umami was there, but it definitely would’ve been better if the muscle had spent some time in a broiling pan.

But Caliban wasn’t in the mind to care about that.

He shook his head from side to side as he tore a chunk free.

HRUCKH-HKUNGH

He chewed furiously—the meat was tender in a way that managed to be wrong and so damn delicious at the same time. He could barely even feel how liquid dribbled out of his maw and down his chin. The first bite felt heavy in his throat, seeming to linger. Somehow, Caliban didn’t notice. He continued to rip the muscle apart, his pulse ringing in his ears all the while.

There was nothing but flavor and greed and impatience and joy.

He wasn’t sure how long it really took, but after what seemed like just a meager thirty seconds, half of the meat was gone. He wasn’t completely satisfied, of course, but his stomach wasn’t aching or growling anymore; instead, it was concentrating on what he’d just devoured. For the first time all day, he finally, finally felt comfortable. Relieved.

“Afternoon snack, Cal?” A familiar voice called from across the room.

Caliban flinched, then slowly turned his head to discover R.D., who was standing at the foot of the hidden staircase with her arms crossed. She tilted her head at him, her expression a mixture of understanding, concern, and amusement.

“I guess,” Caliban sighed. “Although you could probably call it stress-eating, too.”

R.D. wandered closer, nodding. “Probably.”

She fished her phone out of her pocket and tapped at the screen, then held it for her husband to see. She’d set her camera to self-portrait mode, which gave Caliban a perfect view of the dark red smudges splattered around his lips and cheeks, with even more running down his chin. A few spots marred the dark blue fabric of his button-down’s collar.

Caliban offered a sheepish smile in response, showing off his red-tinged teeth, his silver canine-cap gleaming. He walked over to the block kitchen island, grabbing a napkin from one of the drawers and cleaning up his face.

“You could’ve texted me on your way back,” R.D. said softly. “I could’ve prepared that for you; then you would’ve enjoyed it a bit more.”

Caliban shook his head. “I’m not going to disrupt your focus when I should’ve just been smart enough to eat something before I left. Your projects are more important.”

(She may not have been wearing any of her protective gear, but he knew full well that it hadn’t been long since she’d returned from the hidden-in-plain-sight laboratory of a warehouse on the other side of town.)

R.D. pursed her lips at this. “I didn’t have very much stuff lined up for today. Just some organization and a few basic chemical tests.”

“Still would’ve been inconvenient for you to rush back home because of me.” Caliban brought out a cutting board and his beloved cleaver, quickly chopping up his half-eaten morsel into several pieces. He then grinned. “Besides, haven’t you said that you need to keep at least five feet away from me when I eat?”

“I only say that when you decide to throw manners out the window,” R.D. chuckled, pointedly closing the refrigerator door, which Caliban had, admittedly, left open up until now. She opened a compartment beneath the oven, producing one of the smaller pans and setting it on the stove. “But seriously, you’ve already pulled strings to help me out when you didn’t have to; I might as well return the favor sometime. I’m honestly kind of shocked that you haven’t started holding that over my head by now.”

“That’s because I’m a humanitarian,” Caliban responded as he held the board above the pan to push the chunks of meat down onto its sizzling surface, laughing at how R.D. groaned and rolled her eyes.

“Aaaaaannd I regret this already,” R.D. muttered, though she still smiled when Caliban put the cleaver and board down in order to gently hug her from behind, resting his head on her shoulder.

“Oh, c’mon!” Caliban jokingly pouted. “I thought that one was pretty tasteful!”

“Snare is worried about you,” R.D. announced. “He’s been pacing around the hutch nonstop since you got back.”

Caliban froze, then raced up the stairs to go check on his pet.

@that-bat  @sammys-magical-au  @neons-trash-blog  @insane4fandoms    @ayoreneehere   @anxious-ace  @dleep-deprivation-idk-jelp  @overemotional-cactus  @congratscat @annoyeddeadartist  @butterboyfly  @i-dont-like-it-here-please-help  @echoing-night   @goopiguess  @akladyathena  @xyzkiss  @bispaceace  @alexpangender  @this1person  @4b-eraserlee  @jadefrompluto  @alexthen3rd  @destinys-dreamer  @cmaniac123 @sw33tst4rs  

#my writing #caliban #caliban the cannibal #matpat #matthew patrick #egopats #R.D. #stephanie patrick #my character #fanmade egos #my fan egos #iswm murdock #murdock/murderplier #markiplier #mark fischbach #the pentas family #[the future mob project] #tw cannibalism #tw eating #tw cravings #tw hunger pangs #tw implied death #tw talk of murder #tw cramed/crowded spaces #tw implied illegal business #🔪 anon

[moogghost]

okay yeah i'm so sorry to everyone the cotapepunch post from earlier has made me think about them and i'm not going to shut about these guys for a while i'm so sorry but also not

this is like. extremely long shoutout to anyone who reads this whole thing (also it's pretty sad bc well. you know i'm going to talk about their backstories like you know it's coming. it gets a lot less sad by the end though i promise,,). i'm sorry if some of it does not make sense i did not sleep at all as of writing this

-

okay so. whenever i mention these guys really i feel like i either just. either feel like i go "hehe yes they are my silly gays and i love them :)" or just like. off-handedly mention the stuff they individually go through but i never really. detail their full dynamic

like. at the very core of it my main two descriptions of this is like when i first came up with it the general premise was "three gay losers/fools dating one of which likes to believe they're the least bad of the others or at least tries to ACT like it but they are just as bad if not worse at times" bc while i liked tapepunch a lot i was like! adding copen to that would be very funny and cute bc of how they are both in canon and how mine is specifically since jp was always meant to be a pathetic asshole who's a complete loser at times,, and it was! but at the same time it's also just. "three guys who are still coming to terms with the struggles of their previous lives genuinely being shitty and having to live with that while trying to support each other to the best of their ability"

(which really. my los' general dynamic can be boiled down to "group of people who all generally had shitty backgrounds to some extent who try to support each other and be the sort of family/support that they never had when growing up" but i mean like this is the other specific dynamic we have going on for cotapepunch in my los)

so like. i've established that these things like the whole multiple deaths, backstories, and hell the whole mind control thing (which i do not go into much detail about since it's sort of hard to explain but at the same time this is like one of the few instances of that thing that i'm comfortable detailing (...iiiitt's mainly just that stuff like that outside of when i personally write it does make me at least a lil uncomfortable <3)) genuinely still affect my los. like these guys never got a proper chance to fully. grasp just how fucked up some of this shit was until post-game au hits because for the entirety of pmtok well! yeah it was pmtok and it wasn't like their lives were exactly the best in their first lives

so for them post-game is finally. when they actually have a genuine second chance at life. and for my cotapepunch this hits them like. very hard

because they've never gotten the chance to really function as a throuple in that kind of setting before! they only really got together in pmtok after a few weeks of getting revived (and there's. reasons for that. both because cotape and tapepunch actually did know each other prior and also bc it at least makes sense to me as to why it happened. kinda quickly or at least from that perspective). and then there's the whole memory loss thing w/ getting revived again and it was. a whole thing. but when they do get those memories back fully and eventually get back together they now have to figure out. functioning while also having to deal with the aforementioned stuff from earlier

and like! these guys are very cute together and they genuinely do love and care about each other but! it is not a perfect relationship at all and like no relationship is perfect but it's like. w/ these guys you can kinda just tell if you live around them for long enough? like it's not very often that it happens but like. they will fight and i mean like serious fighting like this is a fact

because i've at least kinda mentioned it here but like. taniel is a guy who has really bad issues with trusting people after being left to die by his old crew and he genuinely feels like beating the ice vellum will fix all of his emotional issues relating to that (oooh boy and this isn't even. touching on his relationship with his parents like neither are the best). holt is someone who was actively fucked over by xyr family and ended up running away and while xe did get adopted by king shroomses and started recovering from it all, xe was still stabbed in the back and killed by some relatives and even then everything that's happened still sticks with xem hard. jp is literally an ex-soldier who tried his best to protect those closest to him but ultimately failed (robin is the main example but also. a reminder that he was an ex-soldier), and genuinely tried to do the right thing to make up for his past mistakes but ended up just adding to it as well (see: saxen and her father's deaths). and that's not even including pmtok and the fact that my los gijinkas as partners au is in fact part of their canon so it's just. yeah they're still dealing with that

taniel genuinely struggles with trusting people, and that's not excluded to jp and holt. he's genuinely scared of losing people close to him again, and doing something that causes a repeat of the whole crew betrayal thing. he will think that he needs to do something on his own or keep something to himself to protect himself from that, and gets terrified when it backfires on him. holt blames xemself for a lot of shit that isn't even xyr fault, has very little self-confidence in xemself like at all (never outright shows it bc well. sometimes it's easier for xem to act like xe has confidence than be honest), has a lot of nasty thoughts that xe never really says out loud that are partially influenced by how xyr parents raised xem but also just struggling to always see the good in people at times, and also just internalizes anything that's even remotely negative about xem and feels like it's true. jp already struggles with just social interaction in general and purposefully avoids it because they know they aren't good at it and are very much aware of the fact that they're an asshole at times. they know they're really bad with emotions both with themself and figuring it out with other people, so it really does lead them to say things they genuinely don't mean at heart but are really fucking mean at times. and it's like,, they're genuinely trying because they really do care! but they mess up enough to the point where they struggle to see the point in trying to be nice since they often feel like nobody really sees that

so it's like. these guys will end up fighting because of these things and it's like. yeah because while they want to communicate w/ each other more it's like. there are very specific things that these guys won't open up about (taniel's whole motivation to keep fighting the ice vellum, holt being adopted by king shroomses + xyr death, and jp well. y'know. the whole thing with saxen and orrick/her dad). and like for reasons that make sense but like. it'll conflict and it does blow up if it's like a constant thing that one of them refuses to address like taniel constantly fighting the ice vellum

but at the same time i think at the same time. it's also what helps them in a way. because it's like. holt honestly does struggle w/ seeing the good in people at times but like! xe's seen that taniel is trying his best to be better despite his moments of lashing out, and tries his best to make up for them (like this is. especially seen w/ saxen like no joke this is mainly what helped convince jp and holt both that taniel really was trying to change). and when it comes to jp, holt is still obviously hurt by some of the things said but xe notices enough stuff that makes holt feel that jp isn't really that much of an asshole and does try to be nice if you're like. patient w/ them. jp is initially dismissive of his attitude towards the other two but holt keeps Coming Back (and eventually taniel) and it confuses the hell out of him. and while they bond over various things jp tries to consciously filter himself more and understand what he should/shouldn't say around them bc he genuinely doesn't want to hurt their feelings since he's grown close to them and will genuinely apologise if he messes up which is. something he does not do often. taniel genuinely tries to trust his boyfriends a lot more even though it's again. something he struggles with a lot for good reason because he knows they're both trying their best with him and he really wants to be able to give them that same level of trust, or at least honesty

...and then on the lighter side they're just really silly and sweet together sdfgh. like i did just go on that whole tangent yes but i do feel the need to stress that it's something that they really keep private and it's not something that comes up a lot, at least in the case of holt and jp's personal stuff that would absolutely cause Some Shit (or in holt's case xe feels like it will w/ one of 'em). w/ taniel's it's absolutely something they'd be working on for a long while but like! it's a process

like. these guys love pulling pranks on the others at times like especially tapepunch and cotape especially. holt literally tells taniel about some of xyr other demigod powers just so they can go mess with people, and jp and taniel literally recreate the several incidents of jp throwing red paint onto taniel and pretending it's blood. it's genuinely the funniest shit to them both

holt and taniel often get jp into doing more things that she normally would like. never do at all. or just never had the confidence to do really. they take her fishing once and it's the best worst experience of her life. another time they take her out dress shopping and she's genuinely so happy since like. normally jp would just ask robin to make her a dress and while jp really likes the ones robin makes she also wants to go look at dresses on her own time <3

holt usually just watches jp draw and. while she isn't the most used to people just watching her draw she's the most comfortable with holt doing it since when it does talk it's usually to compliment the art sdfg. taniel does sometimes too but he usually just falls asleep on jp's shoulder but she thinks it's cute so <3 (but otherwise he doesn't speak much either like. less so than holt. like if he's around people he knows well enough he's not much of a talker. it's more of a sign of comfort for him really)

sometimes holt and taniel literally just physically fight each other for fun wsdfg. like no reason at all sometimes they do it just because they can.

sometimes holt and jp will take taniel to any sort of aquarium just so he can look at marine plants like. dunno if i mentioned it here specifically but taniel is into marine botany. like he's very awkward about it but his boyfriends know and like. they will use it to their advantage to convince taniel to do smth if possible (ex. "promise me you won't get us banned from another restaurant" "...ehhh" "we can go to the aquarium to look at plants afterwards" "stop bribing me with things you know will work this is so unfair (it's a yes)")

and then like. all of them will cuddle together a lot like holt is already naturally very warm bc fire demivellumental but also. they just like cuddling a lot it's like their go-to when any of them are upset about something

i will end this here bc getting tired but like. cotapepunch my fucking beloved i think about them so much yet don't draw them often nor write about them that often either. i do focus on like taniel and holt the most out of them but like. note that i love the three losers a lot hgfd

#long post #i'm. not kidding when i say it's long i Mean It #ironically i spent more time working on this rather than writing the one-shot hgfds #but to be fair. there is a lot to my cotapepunch i just don't like. really state it much #until now i suppose lol #cannot stress the 'i wrote this while not getting any sleep' parts of it Will Not make much sense #but i do hope the vibe is understood at least sdfgh #ghost whispers #ghost's los

[makeste]

“but I thought about how I needed to say this”

a.k.a. yet another meta dissection of The Apology. I actually wrote most of this up on Friday night based on the original Japanese (@pikahlua​ has an excellent translation up here, and I also used @hanashimas’ translations as a reference as well), but I wanted to wait until the official release, though that turned out to be a mixed bag to say the least lol.

I would also recommend reading @pikahlua​ and @class1akids​’ breakdowns of this scene (here and here, respectively), because they are excellent, and because if any scene deserves to have as many meta breakdowns written about it as possible, it’s this one.

anyway so here goes.

Caleb did a more accurate job with this than the fanscan, even if he did try his best to take us out of the seriousness of the moment by throwing in that swiss cheese line lol. anyway so there are two things I want to talk about here. the first is the line about Izuku not remembering, which I thought was a nice touch. of course he doesn’t remember what Kacchan said back then. he wasn’t exactly in the soundest emotional state after seeing one of the people he cares about most taking a near-fatal blow that was meant for him. I’d be shocked if he remembers anything about the aftermath (including the way he flew into a mindless rage afterwards) right up until the point when he entered the OFA Interstellar Party Void with Tomura. anyway, so I thought that was a nice callback.

and speaking of emotional states, the other thing I wanted to talk about is the part that Caleb got right which the fan scanlation didn’t. “but I had more to say.” in other words, “stop trying to win on your own” wasn’t just a one-liner; it was meant to be the beginning of a much longer speech. “there were other things that I needed to say.”

like, can we just stop and talk about that for a second. because basically what this means is that in that instant, when Kacchan pushed Deku out of the way and got impaled, his one and only thought was that he needed to apologize to Deku. his life was presumably flashing before his eyes, he had no idea if he was going to survive or not, and the only thing on his mind was how urgently he needed to make things right with his former childhood friend.

moving on!

so I have a confession to make, which is that I am relieved to see Katsuki describing this as the reason why he bullied Deku, as opposed to Horikoshi trying to retcon it into some sort of “secretly he was just trying to protect him and keep him out of harm’s way because he was worried” thing, which ngl would not have gelled very well with me. the thing is that I’m really not a fan of the whole “Kacchan Did Nothing Wrong” mentality that some fans seem to have. like, I have seen all sorts of convoluted attempts to find excuses for Katsuki’s shitty behavior, but in my view those attempts undermine what I love about his character in the first place. Katsuki is such a great character specifically because he is not perfect. his redemption arc is so compelling because he was such a giant asshole at the start. he was completely at fault, and he acknowledges this, and takes full responsibility for it. and that is fucking fantastic.

his arc is so great because it doesn’t rely on garnering sympathy by giving him a Tragic Past, or by trying to foist the blame for his behavior over on someone else. it’s an arc that acknowledges that redemption isn’t something you achieve by making people feel sorry for you; it’s something you have to earn by actively working to change and do better. and by forgoing the “misunderstood/tragic past” route, Horikoshi is making a statement that anyone can go down the wrong path, but that more importantly, anyone can also choose at any time to turn away from said path. there is only one requirement for doing so, and that is realizing that you’ve done wrong, and deciding that you want to change.

anyway, so in chapter 284 Kacchan of course had that whole speech about Deku not taking himself into account, and mentioned how that made him want to keep his distance. and a good chunk of fandom took this to mean that Katsuki’s bullying was actually a misguided response to Deku’s reckless tendencies -- sort of an “if I show him how weak and powerless he really is, I can get him to accept the reality that he’s quirkless, and that being a hero will just get him hurt or killed” type of thing. and I won’t lie, for a good while I was wondering myself if Horikoshi was really going to go down that route. and like I said, I am honestly relieved that he didn’t. not only for the reasons stated in the previous paragraph, but also because the message that would have sent -- that there are certain circumstances in which bullying can almost be excused because the bully had Good Intentions and was just trying to save the other person from themselves, and so it Wasn’t That Bad, Actually -- is all kinds of fucked up to say the least. so yeah, I’m glad we ended up steering well clear of that.

(ETA: this post was long enough already so I edited out the 3 additional paragraphs I originally wrote analyzing the dialogue from 284. but just to be clear, I’m not trying to imply that Kacchan worrying about Deku’s recklessness is a retconned thing that Horikoshi only threw into the story recently, because there are multiple instances throughout the story where he clearly is worried and in total denial of it. but I firmly believe those feelings are not what led to the bullying. they’re two separate things. Kacchan worrying about Deku is what prompts him to yell at him in chapter 1 when Deku comes to save him. but it’s not what incited him to burn his notebook and taunt him earlier in that same chapter. that action had a much meaner and more selfish motivation behind it, and I’m glad Horikoshi didn’t try to change it up last minute, because it wouldn’t have felt right.)

thankfully as of this chapter I think we can safely cross that out as a possibility, as we’re given the true explanation straight from Katsuki himself. and the truth is that he bullied Deku out of insecurity and jealousy and fear and intolerance. there was nothing noble about it. there were no good intentions concealed in his actions. there are no justifications given, no excuses offered, and no mitigating circumstances to be considered, other than the fact (which neither he nor Horikoshi bring up) that he was and is still a child, and that children make mistakes.

it’s an explanation that challenges many of fandom’s ideas on who is and isn’t eligible to be redeemed. there is no Ozai in Katsuki’s backstory. there’s no great tragedy that he spent a lifetime trying to rise above. the only villain in Katsuki’s story is Katsuki himself. the only darkness that he has to overcome is his own. and it’s challenging, because I think many people believe the only way someone can be redeemed for doing bad things is if bad things happen to them in return. but what Horikoshi is saying here is that that’s not the case. bad doesn’t erase bad. and the one and only way to truly earn redemption is by doing good.

and that’s what makes this such a phenomenal scene for me. by not shying away from Katsuki’s flaws and failings, and having him take full responsibility for them, Horikoshi keeps the apology from being self-serving, and underscores the true depth of Katsuki’s character development. the level of self-awareness he has here is something most people can only dream of. which is very fitting, as that’s perhaps the most important takeaway from his character arc -- that it’s only by acknowledging your own weaknesses and flaws that you can learn to overcome them and reach your full potential.

one last thing to point out here, which is that in the panel where Katsuki finally acknowledges his terrible treatment of Deku, Deku is not even visible. instead, Horikoshi drew the panel from a perspective that makes it appear that Katsuki is addressing this particular line not just to Deku, but to all of his classmates.

again, he shows him taking full responsibility and admitting his wrongdoings in front of the people whose opinions and approval he cares about most. and just to clarify in case there’s any confusion from Caleb’s translation, Kacchan’s wording makes it very clear that he wasn’t just “mean” to Deku, but that he full-on bullied him (he uses the same verb -- “ijimeru” (苛める) -- that he did back in chapter 284). there’s no attempt to downplay his actions here.

moving on now, this chapter also reaffirmed another thing about Deku and Kacchan’s relationship which I was glad to see revisited -- Kacchan’s unwavering belief in Deku’s ability. this is one of those paradoxical things about their relationship which I’ve always been fascinated by, but which is also kind of hard to explain, because I don’t want it to come off like I’m trying to put a positive spin on something which was unequivocally awful. like, please don’t think I’m trying to say that Katsuki’s bullying of Deku was in any way a good thing. but that being said, there’s also a strange irony at play here, which is that Katsuki’s jealousy and insecurity also betray the fact that even at his very worst, he never once underestimated Deku. he has always believed in Deku’s strength, even when that strength pissed him off and made him afraid and uneasy.

no one else -- not All Might, or even Deku’s own mom -- believed from the get-go that Deku could become a hero. but Katsuki never once counted him out, even when he was calling him a pebble in his shoe. he confesses here that even though he “tried to act superior by rejecting [Deku]”, in truth he was never able to shake the feeling that Deku was above him. long before he ever understood the concept of “win to save”, he knew instinctively that there was a strength in Deku’s heart that couldn’t be measured, and which had the potential to surpass even his own strength. and I’ve always felt that this was so important, because it’s the one aspect of their early relationship that hinted that on some level, however subconscious, Katsuki held the same type of faith in Deku that Deku always held in him. it was one of the few things that hinted at there being a possible path towards reconciliation one day. and it paved the way for the most important shift in their relationship to date, when Katsuki finally realized who Deku got his quirk from, and responded not with resentment or spite, but with acceptance.

moving on, I also really love the way we see them portrayed at the different stages of their childhood throughout this speech, and how it perfectly lines up with the dialogue. from small children (when Katsuki talks about his insecurities first manifesting), to middle schoolers (when he talks about the bullying), to high schoolers (when he talks about the past year and everything he’s learned at U.A.). Horikoshi really didn’t have to go that hard, but he did, and that’s why we love him.

and then we finally get to That Part.

where do I even start with this there are so many things omg.

the bow. this is the one and only time Katsuki has ever bowed to anyone of his own volition as far as I recall. and this absolutely is a bow, just to be clear, even though his form is straight-up garbage (very Kacchan-esque, with his feet and arms spaced apart because he’s still a punk after all). this is Kacchan showing more humility and respect than he’s ever shown to anyone else in his entire life.

regarding “Izuku”, I actually have mixed feelings about this to tell the truth. I think it was a good call here because it was incredibly effective in setting the tone and showing just how serious Kacchan is. however if he continues to use “Izuku” rather than “Deku” from here on out, that would give the impression in hindsight that all his past usage of “Deku” really was meant as an insult, which would undermine some of my favorite scenes. I would really like to believe that since DvK2 or thereabouts, Kacchan has (mostly) been using “Deku (affectionate)” rather than “Deku (useless loser)”, lol. but if he switches to the “nicer” name on a permanent basis following his apology, it implies that the previous nickname was indeed being used cruelly. and so honestly I hope this was just a one-time thing, because I do think that in Katsuki’s mind, the name “Deku” hasn’t been meant as a slight to him for a long time now.

“my truth/this is what I truly feel” -- the word Katsuki uses in Japanese is honne (本音), and if you’re familiar with the concept of honne/tatemae, that’s the same “honne” he’s talking about here. it means that he’s casting aside all of his walls and facades and expressing what he truly feels. and of course, one of the fascinating things about Katsuki’s character is that he’s the exact opposite of most people in that he chooses to put his meanness on full display to the public, and ironically it’s the kindest parts of himself which he tends to keep the most carefully guarded and hidden away. this also means that while his rage and anger are very often insincere and put on just for show, those relatively few occasions where he lets his humanity truly shine through are pretty much 100% genuine, as is the case with this one here.

and Deku’s face says it all when it comes to how powerful those moments can be as a result.

and this, right here, is why it wasn’t enough for Katsuki to atone solely through his actions, and why he needed to actually say the words as well. it’s not that the words are more important; obviously the actions are far and away the most important part, and carry far more meaning. but the reason why Katsuki needed to say the words as well is simply because Izuku needed to hear them. needed to, and deserved to, because this is one of the most important people in the world to him.

and so he deserves to know that the relationship isn’t just one-sided, and that he is just as important to Kacchan as Kacchan is to him. he deserves to know that Kacchan understands how horribly he treated him, and that he’s sorry for it. and he deserves to know that Kacchan, without any expectation of it changing their relationship -- meaning that he will continue to feel this way regardless of what Izuku says or does from here on out -- cares about him. now more than ever, with AFO out there doing everything in his power to make Izuku feel as alone as possible, this is something that he really, really needed to hear.

so this part has some interesting wordplay which neither Caleb’s translation nor the fan scanlation was really able to get across. basically, in the Japanese version, when Katsuki talks about “those ideals”, Horikoshi uses the kanji for “ideal”, but pronounces it as “All Might.” obviously the meaning of this isn’t too hard to decipher, as we all know how much both boys admire All Might. to them, he absolutely is synonymous with the Ideal. so this is a way of showing that respect they both have towards him, even as Katsuki goes on to point out the one fatal flaw that All Might was never able to overcome.

and speaking of interesting wording, as others have noted, at this point in his speech Katsuki switches from “temee” (which he was using earlier during the “your strengths and my weaknesses” part) to “omae” (“omae” being a less insulting word for “you”, though still very manly and tough-sounding), which is definitely a big deal. though fwiw this is not the first time he’s used “omae” for Deku (he switches to it briefly right after DvK2, when he tells Deku “you had the strongest guy lay the groundwork for you -- don’t lose”, and then later when they’re walking back to the dorms and he says he’ll learn and get stronger by watching everyone around him just like Deku did). it’s definitely a good choice on Horikoshi’s part though, as it makes this last part of the speech sound more earnest and sincere.

just a quick note, he does indeed use a plural pronoun here, as in “the obstacles that you can’t overcome, we will overcome.” but as @pikahlua​ pointed out, the “we” here is ambiguous -- it could either mean “we” as in class 1-A -- “we will overcome them for you” -- OR it could mean “we” as in all of them -- class 1-A and Deku. “we will overcome them together.” idk about you, but I know which one gets my vote.

anyway, and so this is the line that finally wins Deku over and allows him to let go of his fears, however briefly. what I love about this is Kacchan’s utter conviction. one thing that Caleb’s translation doesn’t quite get across is Kacchan’s use of the word morenaku -- “without exception” -- when he talks about how they’re going to save everyone and win. it echoes that same sentiment he showed back during the Joint Training arc -- that it’s not a perfect victory unless they save everyone. every last person. and he explicitly lists Deku among their number, just so there can be no doubt.

and Deku’s response to this (or at least his thoughts, since he’s not really able to get many words out) pretty much brings everything full circle here.

he acknowledges that everyone else has gotten ahead of him. which is especially meaningful given who he’s standing directly across from. because for most of the series, as we all well know, it’s been Kacchan who was woefully lagging behind Deku in the character growth department. but now Deku himself is acknowledging that not only has Kacchan finally caught up at last, but that he and the others have surpassed him. which is only temporary, I should add, as I have zero doubt that Deku will catch up again soon. but the fact remains that just as Deku’s rapid increase in strength and skill left Kacchan scrambling to keep up earlier in the series, Kacchan’s extraordinary character development has now left Deku in that same position. as All Might once put it, “when he’s starting at level one, and you’re already at level 50, it’s only natural that you’ll be growing at different rates.”

and what’s so wonderful about this though is that the two of them are finally approaching that point where they’ve both caught up to each other and are finally starting to level out. Deku is a full-on badass, and Kacchan is out here talk-no-jutsuing with the best of them. the two of them have been chasing and chasing after each other this entire time, and now they’re finally just about ready to meet in the middle at long last, with each of them fully embodying both of those two crucial aspects -- win, and save.

just about. because Deku still needs some help catching up. but seeing as help has already been offered -- and accepted -- I can’t imagine it will be very long now, and I can’t wait to see him finally overcoming those fears and doubts with his friends by his side. it’s going to be such a powerful moment.

and last but not least,

or, as I prefer,

you had one job, Caleb. flkjsdlk.

but at least this provides a good opportunity to note that unlike the “we’ll help you handle it” line earlier in the speech, here the phrasing is left up to interpretation, as he doesn’t use a pronoun. so it could be “we know”, or, as the fan scanlation put it, “I know.” or it could be both. regardless, it’s good stuff.

anyway, and so Deku passes out, and in the process Horikoshi gives us one last parting metaphor, just in case anyone still thinks Kacchan is all talk because they haven’t been paying attention for the past 322 chapters (more likely than you think). once again, Katsuki’s actions speak louder than his words (even his nice words) ever could: he is literally there to catch Deku when he falls.

so that’s it! my sincere thanks to anyone who actually read through all of my endless ramblings about this scene which I have been waiting for since day one. props to Horikoshi for taking on an impossibly difficult task, and pulling it off with all of the emotion and care and nuance that I’ve come to expect from his writing. imo he delivered on every single level with the exception of the aftermath, which I don’t consider to have actually happened yet. Deku’s part of this is definitely a “to be continued.” but yeah, as far as Kacchan’s part goes, 10/10. so fucking proud of this kid.

#bnha 322 #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[gloriousmonsters]

I'm you're still doing the ask meme can we hear about Blorbo from your shows? Tragic lack of good Su Minshan content in this fandom.

one aspect about them i love

absolute king for disrupting the entire plot with an unrelated personal grudge. the beauty of the Hundred Holes Curse being revealed, WWX being like 'why did you do that? I've never done anything to you, hell I've never even met you before to my knowledge' and SMS just being like 'yeah because not everything is about you, I cursed jzx for personal reasons, dumbass' lives on in my heart.

(also cherished of my heart in that scene: the exchange where LXC is like 'why do you dislike Wangji :(' and SMS is like 'wHy Do i DiSLikE LaN wANgJi do I need a fucking permit to not like Lan Wangji? HE'S AN ASSHOLE')

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

so i just spent most of the day ranting about some particularly egregious things 😂 because in my perusal of the sms tag on here and ao3 and my occasional forays to twitter i have seen about every possible bad take known to man. On a general level I just want people to comprehend that he's a complex character who's clearly, like jgy and xy, meant to be a mix of villainous and sympathetic, and not Flat Joke Villain #9. I would just like people to acknowledge he has aspects at all, lol.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

Moling loves him. I like to write it as a merchantile-heavy city that never had a comfortable relationship with the 'we are above earthly things' Great Sect nearest to them, and didn't have any smaller sect in the area, so when one of their own came back and set up a new sect instead of staying at that stuck-up Lan sect a lot of people were into it. Also in the bent of 'things from the earlier draft aren't true unless i like them', I generally keep as canon the detail that sms did well during the Sunshot campaign (look, he was almost suicidally depressed during that time and life loves giving him exactly what he doesn't want atm. him actually winning some shit by trying to throw himself into unwinnable fights feels like exactly the black comedy his teen years were made of) and hc that it was close enough to Moling that a lot of people are impressed by that as well. not to mention he has connections to the Jin, which bring more money into town! Absolute local legend. Only flaw is that he keeps turning down suggestions of marriage, but we can live with that.

essentially, you know how the Moling Su disciples start fighting with the Lan disciples in that one scene about 'WELL, MAYBE HE'S GREAT ACTUALLY, COULD YOU START A SECT'? the whole city of Moling is Like That.

one character i love seeing them interact with

...jin guangyao. i mean, can i put anyone else. when i type 'e' into my browser bar it defeatedly directs me to Untamed Episode 26 because I have rewatched jgy and sms' first meeting for the seratonin so many times. It's just so good to see JGY being polite and considerate to him, and sms first reacting with shock and then Insane Levels of Devotion (I usually talk book version more, but shout out to Feng Cong for nailing this facial progression in CQL, watching him as SMS going from distress to confusion to more confusion to slowly dawning joy is so good.) And the later Moments Indicating Long-Held Intimacy between them are. Really something, I think about SMS taking the bottle out of JGY's hand because JGY is struggling with it and giving him the medicine, and JGY giving him the medicine packet later (shoutout to CQL for turning that into a whole period-romance-level hand focus moment), not to mention sms bandaging his shoulder with strips from his own robes, d a i l y.

writing this, I love how much of their intimacy is based in wounds and the care thereof? jgy receives a loooot of casual and not-so casual violence in the narrative and rarely receives any sort of care for it (the only other person who tends his wounds onscreen is uh... lxc, who immediately follows it up by stabbing him) so sms' attentiveness to his physical damage and pain, and clear familiarity with is almost a shocking level of care and intimacy. just. jin guangyao gets his arm cut off and su minshan screams. jgy is out of medicine because, presumably, he gave the last of it to sms just a few minutes ago. i'm on to something here. or possibly just having a breakdown. give me a minute.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

I put wishing for more sms-xy interaction on xy's question, so for this one I'll put that (book canon) I'd kill to see him run into mianmian again. CQL canon, I wouldn't have minded a few more scenes with LXC or LQR back in the day.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

more CQL flavor, but him and lan wangi actually got along well (?) for a little while when they were kids. literally all it consisted of was that they silently worked in the library around the same time and one time sms passed him an inkstone, but they're both people that feel the concept of Parallel Play Work Counts As Social Interaction in their souls. this only contributes to sms being even more pissed at lwj for not getting over his whole betrayal moment, and lwj being more angry about sms failing morally, and also some people being very confused about how intensely both of them treat their Grudge™ despite apparently? never speaking? you weren't actually friends or anything right? (lwj: he passed me an inkstone wwx: is that slang for something i don't know or-- sms: i passed him something once! we had a silent understanding! xy: you are completely insane)

#su she #su minshan #replies #character meme #and you're right there's a severe blorbo content deficit in this fandom #the headcanon's mainly just a funny one bc i had 'i have so many i know can't focus on any or pick one' problems sldifjds

[itsapeterthing]

Lollipop || Bucky Barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x rogers!reader

summary: your brother and his best friend find themselves in a fight after a few boys don’t know when to shut their mouth.

a/n: reblogs and replies are super appreciated!!

word count: 1.9k

warnings: fighting, mentions of blood, someone makes a suggestive comment about reader

masterlist || request || taglist

1935

“What do you think you’re doin’, punk?” He asked, plucking the lollipop from your hand. “I thought Steve told you to stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

Kneeling beside you behind the dumpster, Bucky pulled the wrapping off of the top of the lollipop, slipping it into his mouth. Swatting your brother’s best friend, you scolded him in a hushed voice.

“Hey! Big mouth!” You whispered. “Can you stop talkin’ so loud? Someone’s gonna find us if you don’t shut up. Thanks for stealing my lollipop by the way.”

“Yeah?” Bucky said, raising his eyebrows, pulling the candy out of his mouth with a satisfying ‘pop’. “Consider it payment for keepin’ my mouth shut. The hell you doing back here anyway?”

You were asking yourself the same question.

You and your brother Steve always walked home together at the end of the school day when he met you at your locker after the final bell rung. However earlier that day, your brother had come up to you, his eyes unable to meet yours, telling you to wait for him out front after school was over for the day because he ‘had something he had to do’ afterwards. Not even giving you a chance to ask him why, your brother had stormed off to his next class.

Not one to mind your own business when it came to Steve, as soon as the dismissal bell rung, you disobeyed his orders, making your way to the back of the school, hiding behind the dumpster you and Bucky were situated at now.

“You mean he didn’t tell you?” You asked, furrowing your eyebrows.

“What?” He asked. “I haven’t seen him since lunch. Why? What’d he say?”

Shaking your head, you glanced at the door of the building as it opened. “Nothing. He was acting really weird-”

Cutting yourself short, you stopped speaking as you saw two boys you recognized, coming out the back door of the school, laughing with one another. Shutting yourself up, you tugged on the sleeve of Bucky’s t-shirt when you saw none other than your brother Steve emerge from the door seconds later.

“Hey!” Steve called to the two boys.

“What the hell is he doing?” Bucky whispered to you.

Pulling his shirt tighter, your eyes growing wide, you both continued to watch the scene unfold in front of you.

“Listen, Rogers, if you know what’s good for you you’ll go back inside.” The boy you recognized as Matthew said, turning around.

“Take back what you said.” Your brother said, his hands balling into fists at his side. When he received no answer from either of the boys, he raised his voice. “I said take back what you said in the bathroom!”

The two boys glancing at each other, one of them raised his voice.

“Yeah? Or what?”

Rather than replying, you watched as your brother raised his fists to his eye line, but before anything could come from it, one of the boys strode over to Steve, swinging a punch to his face before he could even block it, the other kicking him to the ground.

“Shit!” Bucky swore, shrugging your hand off of his shirt and rising to his feet. “Stay here.”

“But Buck-” You began.

Taking the lollipop out of his mouth, he shoved it into your hands, pointing his finger at you. “I said- stay here.”

You watched with wide eyes as your brother’s best friend, made his way around the dumpster, over to the fight happening before your eyes.

“Hey!” Bucky called, the boys’ heads turning at the sound of his voice. “Pick on someone your own size.”

Grabbing the collar of one of the boy’s shirts, Bucky shoved him against the wall, throwing a punch to his face.

“What the hell did these guys do to piss you off so bad, Steve?” Bucky asked, holding Matthew against the wall.

Answering for him, the boy smiled, showing off his bloody teeth. “All I said was that it’s a good thing y’all are so poor. If the Rogers could buy better clothes we wouldn’t get to see Y/n’s panties through her skirt every time she-“

“Keep her name outta your God damn mouth!” Steve shouted before he took another blow to his face.

Beginning to feel his blood boil at the sight of the boy in front of him, Bucky’s jaw clenched as he grabbed Matthew by the collar with both hands and threw him onto the ground.

“C’mon Barnes,” The boy laughed. “You’ve seen her. You’re tellin’ me you spend all your time with that charity case friend of yours without wanting anythin-”

Practically seeing red, Bucky climbed on top of him, and began throwing a series of punches against the boy’s face. 

Although you were Steve’s sister, Bucky had known you well enough that he wasn’t going to back away from a fight where your name was being dragged through the mud. He had known you practically his whole life- you and Steve were a packaged deal, having been adopted by the Rogers as an infant and raised as Steve’s sister. Although he teased the hell out of you, he had always had a soft spot for his best friend’s sister and he wasn’t about to let some asshole talk that way about you without getting his face beat in.

Despite Bucky’s orders, you couldn’t sit by and watch your brother get beat up by the boy on top of him while Bucky took out the other. Slipping the lollipop that was in your hands into your own mouth, you grabbed the piece of plywood that was laying against the dumpster beside you and stood up. Making your way around the dumpster over to where the fight was going on, you came up behind the unnamed boy that was on top of your brother. Lifting the piece of wood in your hands, you swung it across the back of the his head.

A loud yelp erupting from the boy’s mouth as he fell to the ground, off of Steve grabbed Bucky’s attention.

“What the-” Bucky exclaimed looking up to see you standing above your brother and the other boy. “I thought I told you to stay-”

Before he could finish his sentence however, distracted by you, the boy below him took advantage of the situation to swing a punch right into Bucky’s eye.

“Shit!” He shouted in pain, but before Matthew could throw another one, Bucky threw one last punch across his nose, the boy immediately screaming in pain.

“My nose!” He shouted, hands shooting to his bloodied face. “I think you broke my fucking nose!”

“Yeah?” Bucky asked, pulling on the boy’s collar and bringing his face inches from his. “If you even think about the Rogers girl again, I’ll kick your fucking teeth in, alright?”

Nodding wildly, he scrambled to his feet, running back towards the door of the building, the boy you had hit with the piece of plywood, holding the back of his head close behind him. 

Breathing a sigh of relief, you dropped the piece of wood at your side, closing your eyes until you felt the lollipop slip out of your mouth.

“Wha-” You began, opening your eyes.

When they did, your eyes landed on a bruised up Bucky slipping the lollipop into his own mouth once again.

“You owe me another one.” You said.

“Yeah right.” Bucky scoffed, pointing at the black eye that was forming on his face. “This shiner’s worth two of these stupid things and I got it because you, missy, don’t know when to stay put.”

Shaking your head, you turned to look at your brother and his bloodied face, resting your hand on his shoulder before turning back to Bucky.

“Steve needed help!” You exclaimed, attempting to defend yourself.

Shrugging your hand off, Steve shook his head. “I didn’t need your help, Y/n.” He said. “I could’ve handled those guys.”

You knew Steve wasn’t one to ask for help- he hated it actually. With his stature and health people were always either giving him help he didn’t ask for out of pity or actively working to make his life even more miserable. You understood that because of all of this he didn’t ask or want your help, but you didn’t help him because you didn’t believe in him, but- for the same reason as Bucky- because you cared. 

Knowing better than to make the situation worse, you sighed in defeat, nodding.

“You’re right.” You said to your older brother. “I’m sorry.”

Watching the scene in front of him, Bucky laid his hands on both of your shoulders.

“Listen, those guys were assholes.” He said glancing at each of you. “They deserved to get their ass kicked by three people. I don’t think we’ll have to worry about them again for a while now.”

-

As Bucky and you sat waiting for your brother on a bench in front of your shared high school for him to grab his wallet, you looked up at Bucky. Although you had to squint your eyes from the sun shining above the buildings, you gazed at your brother’s best friend’s face- the way the lollipop stick hung outside his mouth, the scruff that was already covering his jawline and even the bruise that had begun to form around his eye.

Shaking your head to clear your mind, you cleared your throat.

“Buck?” You asked.

“Yeah?” He replied, staring ahead, hand still on the stick of the lollipop in his mouth.

“What...” You began, fiddling with your fingers. “What was that fight all about anyway?”

Furrowing his eyebrows, and slipping the lollipop out his mouth he turned to you.

“You didn’t hear any of that?”

“No.”

Staring straight ahead, placing the candy back on his tongue he thought about the fight that had just unfolded and the sick things the kid who’s face he beat in said to cause it. He knew nothing good would come from you knowing and he knew even more that no matter how much he tried he wouldn’t even be able to say the words to your face.

“Same old stuff.” He shrugged, not meeting your eyes. “Ya know, about Steve’s height and shit.”

Shaking your head, you scoffed.

“What assholes.”

“Yeah.”

Before anymore could be said, the sound of the front door of the school swinging open drew you and Bucky’s attention, Steve emerging from inside the building.

“Anyone steal anything?” Bucky asked, pushing himself off of the bench.

Chuckling, Steve opened his wallet to reveal... nothing.

“Not if there’s nothing to steal.” Your brother laughed.

Making your short trip back to your respective apartments, you followed behind with Bucky and Steve, laughing along with their jokes along the way despite their bruised and battered faces and the events that had transpired not even a half an hour before.

When Bucky made it back to his building, the stick of the lollipop still in his mouth, he waved back to the two of you. Watching as you and your brother made your way back home until you both had left his line of sight, Bucky couldn’t help but think about how one day the Rogers siblings would stop getting themselves into fights, but until that day came he swore he would do whatever it took to protect his best friend and his ‘punk’ little sister who- despite his best efforts- he had always saved a special place in his heart for.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes blurb #Bucky Barnes drabble #bucky barnes fluff #40s!bucky