#or just because he's annoyed with those two gays moping around

[huachengslastbraincell]

Reki: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Miya: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

#love these two's friendship #manifesting miya heloing renga make up like the good little bro he is #or just because he's annoyed with those two gays moping around #sk8 #sk8 the infinity quotes #sk8 anime #anime #sk∞ #hasegawa langa #kyan reki #miya chinen #langa hasegawa #reki kyan #sk8 reki #sk8 miya #sk8 langa #renga #lanki #ranga #incorrect quotes #incorrect sk8 quotes #incorrect sk8 the infinity quotes #incorrect anime quotes #incorrect renga quotes

[vodkassassin]

🥒✈ doing fuck marry kill using whoever. Obviously they will be overheard, by mqf, mbj, or both. Also can have sqh state his sexuality which is nothing. Ace rep baby.

Yesss danci I can always count on you! Thanks for slipping my hc ace!SQH in there. Ily @dancibayo

—

“I’m bored,” Shang Qinghua grandly announces.

“Yes, so you’ve said, fifteen times already,” Shen Qingqiu states dryly, but his friend steamrolls right over him.

“I am so bored, so,” Shang Qinghua says, “Shen-ge. Fuck, marry, kill.”

Shen Qingqiu startles, nearly dropping his fan. He whips around to stare at the other with wide eyes. Shang Qinghua props himself up onto his elbow and the grin that’s on his face is mischievous and evil.

“Wh—Airplane?” He nearly squawks, and then returns the grin. “No, stop—!”

Shang Qinghua’s grin nearly splits his face. “Fuck, marry, kill! Tianlang-jun—”

“No!” Shen Qingqiu laughs, reaching for the nearby cushion to chuck it at his cackling friend.

Shang Qinghua ducks the projectile and continues. “Tianlang-jun, Zhuzhi Lang—”

“Airplane!”

“And Sha Hualing!”

“Her?” Shen Qingqiu shrieks, diving for another pillow. His fan tumbles to the floor. “Out of everyone you could have picked for the choices, it had to be her?!”

Shang Qinghua, nimble bastard that he is, managed to avoid this cushion too. “First round will be easy! I definitely didn't have a brain blank and totally forgot anyone else existed. Plus! Shen-ge, I have to cater to the player! Bi-represent!”

“If it’s catering to the player, then this isn’t the game to play when it comes to you,” the Qing Jing peak lord grumbles.

He grabs his tea up from the table he sits at and down the entire cup in one go as if it’s a shot.

“You gotta choose!” Shang Qinghua needles, and Shen Qingqiu casts him a glare.

“Goddammit, fine,” he groans. “Um…. Fuck Tianlang-jun—”

Shang Qinghua bursts into laughter.

Shen Qingqiu scowls, but it directly contrasts the grin that is unwillingly stretching across his face. “What? At least I know he’s got experience!”

“Oh my god,” Shang Qinghua gasps, and then waves a hand. “Okay, go on, go on.”

He narrows his eyes at him, and then slowly continues. “Marry Zhuzhi-lang, and kill Sha Hualing.”

“Do you really hate her that much?” Shang Qinghua asks curiously.

“No,” Shen Qingqiu shrugs. “I mean, she’s practically a teenager, and I hate teenagers on principal, but no. She was just the only one left.”

“Fair enough,” Shang Qinghua bobs his head in acquiescence. “Why marry Zhuzhi-lang, though?”

“Well, I can’t fuck him—”

“I mean, you could, you monsterfucker—“

“You’re so goddamn rude, you know that?” Shen Qingqiu rolls his eyes. “He’s just way too…. too baby. I can’t fuck him, so marry it is.”

“Oh, yeah,” Shang Qinghua finally agrees, staring up at the ceiling in thought. “He is just baby, isn’t he? Okay, good choices, I agree.”

“Your turn,” Shen Qingqiu says dangerously. Immediately, Shang Qinghua raises his hands into the air in surrender.

“I can’t play this game!” He whines. “I can’t fuck anybody! That drastically tilts the answer results!”

“Just change fuck to something else!” Shen Qingqiu demands. “You don’t get to just be the one who asks the question every time, that’s boring as fuck. Listen — kiss, marry, kill?”

“Kissing is like, the same as marrying though,” Shang Qinghua squints at the ceiling. He’s lying on his back now, feet dangling off the side of the bed. He gives them tiny, little kicks as he thinks. “Maybe, like, cuddle?”

“Isn’t that the same as kissing?” Shen Qingqiu scoffs. “Just use kiss, moron.”

“Fine, okay, fine. So! Kiss, marry, kill… who?”

“Kiss, marry, kill… Liu Qingge, Mu Qingfang —”

“Oh my god, bro, please—”

“Listen, this is my revenge — and Mobei Jun.”

Shang Qinghua turns his head away from the so very fascinating ceiling just to glare at him. Shen Qingqiu feels so special, very loved. “You totally suck.”

Shen Qingqiu stoops down to grab his fan off the floor and flips it open just to smirk over the top of it at his friend. “You gotta choose.” He quotes.

“I fucking hate you.”

“I mean, you could go back to being bored, it’s all the same to me.”

Shang Qinghua scoffs, lifting his legs up and pressing the heels of his feet into the bed. “God, okay! Umm… kiss… uhh…”

Shen Qingqiu presses a hand against his mouth to smother his laughter. “I’ll wait.”

“Why the hell did you make this so hard for me?” His friend grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. “You totally hate me don’t you? Um, kiss Mobei Jun—”

“Called it.”

“Shut up, monsterfucker. Kiss Mobei Jun, marry Mu Qingfang, and— oh fuck,” Shang Qinghua sits up and turns toward him, pout out at full force. “There’s only kill left! Shen-ge! I can’t kill Qingge!”

“You gotta,” Shen Qingqiu shakes his head sympathetically. “That’s the game.”

“This isn’t fair! I gave you an easy out on your first go with Sha Hualing, you have to return the favor!”

“You already started choosing!” Shen Qingqiu argues. “Anyone else I give you now is just me choosing a random person for you to kill!”

“I totally forgot kill was a choice after you gave me the names! Shen-geeeee!”

“Goddammit, fine! You can kill Yue Qingyuan, for me, okay?”

Shang Qinghua pauses his wailing to shoot him an amused look, pout vanishing into nothing. What a brat. “You really have it out for that guy, don’t you? Um, alright, sure, I’ll kill the sect leader for you, but only because we’re bros.”

“Don’t turn this back on me! You’re the one who begged me to give you someone else to kill! Anyway, it’s your turn.”

“Haha! Fuck, marry, kill — Rong Qingsheng, Ju Qingsong, and Qi Qingqi.”

“Easy,” Shen Qingqiu scoffs. “Fuck Rong Qingsheng, marry Qi Qingqi, and kill Ju Qingsong. At least try and make this hard for me, Shang-ge, c’mon.”

“Wow,” Shang Qinghua sits up again to look at him, tugging one of the thrown cushions into his lap to hold. “No hesitation at all! You decided that so fast… what’s the thought process?”

“Rong Qingsheng is pretty, and not a douche at all, so I’d rate him pretty up there on the fuckable scale just for that. Qi Qingqi is a scary lesbian Amazonian warrior, and if I wasn’t male I’d definitely go for her, but if she ever needed to marry a man as, like, a cover for her true lesbian activities while under the thumb a homophobic dystopian government or something, then I wouldn’t mind submitting my application for that.”

“She can be pretty, uh…” Shang Qinghua makes a face. “I mean—”

“Purposefully provocative because she likes watching macho men squirm when she takes them down a peg and also has bigger muscles than them?” Shen Qingqiu sighs dreamily. “Yes, it’s boss as fuck.”

“Okay, I wasn’t going to word it exactly like that, but yeah,” Shang Qinghua admits. “And Ju Qingsong?”

“He’s an annoying pest. Kill.”

“Bro!”

“What? Please, You cannot tell me that you haven’t daydreamed about wringing his neck even once?”

“I mean. He can be kinda—”

“Irritating? Aggravating? Drive-one-to-murder?”

“—But! Under all that he’s a good guy! He can be really sweet, actually! He’s only really like that because he’s got a useless gay crush on—!”

The door is kicked in. Shen Qingqiu startles, dropping his tea straight into his lap while Shang Qinghua gives a loud yelp and falls completely off the bed with a resounding thump.

They both whip around to stare in uneasy and slightly-guilty silence at the group of people standing outside the door.

“Oh my gods,” Ju Qingsong says, face pale and arm still outstretched. “It was so amusing at first, but please don’t kill me, I promise I’ll be better!”

Rong Qingsheng leans around the man and stares at them for a moment, before casting Shen Qingqiu a wink.

“I wouldn’t mind,” the mild-mannered man says, and Shen Qingqiu brings a hand up to rub over his face.

“Not that I’m not incredibly interested to hear what this was all about,” Mu Qingfang says, from behind them, and Shang Qinghua squeaks. “But, it’s time for Shen-shixiong to take his medicine.”

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Shang Qinghua pleads, holding his hands up to cover his beet-red face.

“I’ll do you one better,” Shen Qingqiu says calmly, pulling off the tea-drenched outer robe. “If any of you eavesdroppers have loose lips about what you heard here, to anyone, then I will kill you. Understand?”

Ju Qingsong makes an odd sound in his throat, one that sounds both terrified and furious, and the way that the man glances between him and the smirking Rong Qingsheng leads Shen Qingqiu to believe he knows exactly who Shang Qinghua was going to say his ‘crush’ was. How adorable. Too bad for him, then, that Rong Qingsheng seems to find him just as annoying as Shen Qingqiu does.

“There will be no murdering of martial family,” Mu Qingfang says mildly, stepping into the room. “Is that water boiled? I thought I’d try the tea blend, since the capsule form doesn’t agree with you, shixiong.”

“Many thanks,” Shen Qingqiu says.

“Oh, it’s never a problem. Shang-shixiong, Qingge was looking for you. I believe he has the location of one of those flying thunder beasts the two of you were discussing the other day?”

“I don’t wanna go monster hunting again,” Shang Qinghua wails. “Why can’t he just play go with me and call it a day?”

“You’ve overstayed your welcome, Shang-ge,” Shen Qingqiu tells him, smiling politely at the betrayed look his friend shoots him. “Would you mind escorting these two out?”

“See if I ever bring you the newest tea leaf export again,” the An Ding lord huffs, climbing to his feet. “Rong-shidi, Ju-shidi, lets go.”

“Qingsheng, Qingsheng, let's play that game too—!”

“I’m not doing this with you, Qingsong. Shang-shixiong, let's go. I wanted to talk to you about next month's produce quota.”

“Sure thing, Rong-shidi!”

“But, Qingsheng—!”

“Bye, Shen-ge, see you later!” Shang Qinghua chines cheerfully as he tugs the moping man after him. Rong Qingsheng walks out ahead of them. “I had a lot of fun today!”

“Sure,” Shen Qingqiu says, fan fluttering before his face.

He’d enjoyed it too, of course, but he’d never say that out loud. Besides, Airplane already knows, right? There’s no need.

#svsss prompts #scumbag villain self saving system #shang qinghua #shen qingqiu #fuck marry kill #peak lord ocs #Mu qingfang #vodka answers #vodkassassin fanfiction #dancibayo

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

so i’ve read your entire fanfic recs lists and thank you so much for making it!! it introduced me to some of my fave fics like I Think It’s A Real Waste by Jaded Angel and That’s My Baby by kezztip (not including your works of course because i love them all). but now i’m at a lost of what to read. do you have any current fics or fics you would add to your lists?

p.s. so excited RYLH is gonna be updated soon!!! i am seriously in love with that story that it’s my pick me up fic

I'm glad my fanfic recs post was useful to you!! I spent a lot of time making that and I love ALL the stories I recommended.

[do you have any current fics or fics you would add to your lists?] -- Oh hell yeah, a lot of new fics came out after I made that post, and I've found a few more old ones. I'll list them all below (this is going to be LONG):

Multichapters:

all that glitters by SparklingSoul (canon divergence s3):

After getting into some hot water, Jackie and Hyde find themselves thrust into an unlikely partnership-- a partnership where in the lines of morality quickly become blurred as they lead each other down a questionable path to cope with their less than ideal home lives.

This story is a WIP.

Y'ALL, please trust me and read this one, it's amazing. The first chapter was posted yesterday and I'm already addicted.

Rated T.

6k words, one chapter so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Fez/Kelso, and Eric/Donna.

Baby Blue by crimsinsky (s7 fix-it):

Zenmasters being Godparents.

This story is complete.

Rated T.

4k words, 5 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Kelso/Brooke

Friend of the Devil by glittermila (AU):

An AU where Hyde's a girl, and falls for Jackie anyway.

Btw, everyone's gay in this story and I love it, lol.

This story is a WIP.

Rated T.

65k words, 26 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Buddy, Eric/Donna, Fez/Kelso.

He Let Her Go by kezztip (canon divergence s7):

Jackie runs away to her wealthy grandmother in New York after the midseason 7 breakup. Will absence make Hyde's heart grow fonder? What happens when Jackie returns for a secret visit?

This story is complete.

Rated T.

17k words, 17 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I Think I Was Blind Before I Met You by TeaTimeAllOverTown (AU):

He’s 14 and she’s 13 and he finds her crying outside the prison doors and, not that he would ever admit it, hearing her cry makes his skin itch.

This story is complete.

Rated T.

15k words, 2 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Just Ask Santa by heatherlea75 (post s8, Christmas fic):

This is a two part Christmas story featuring JH from Cliches and Things They Say. Sometimes, adults should believe in Santa Claus, too.

This story is complete.

Rated T.

10k words, 3 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Miracle by B_August (AU):

To Pam Burkhart, Jackie is the abnormal child that her husband dragged in during their vacation in Hawaii. To her peers, she's the smart and stuck-up princess that graces the school halls. To the Basement Gang, she's the annoying brat that infiltrated their ranks. To Jackie herself, she is a super powered freak who just wants to do her best. But to Jack Burkhart, Buddy Morgan, a pair of higher life forms, and those who she would later help, she is nothing short of a miracle.

This story is a WIP.

Rated T.

47k words, 33 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Fez/Buddy

My Best Friend's Girl by the bohemian flow (AU):

What if Hyde had a crush on Jackie instead of Donna?

This story is a WIP.

Rated T.

2k words, one chapter so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, temporary Jackie/Kelso

perfect matches burn (and baby, so do we) by deartangerine (AU):

One year after their break-up, Jackie and Hyde have finally pieced themselves back together, on their own. Jackie's in school. Hyde's sober. But one fateful weekend stuck together at their best friends' wedding might be all it takes to tear them down again.

Or maybe, just maybe, to build something new.

Another fic where Hyde's genderbent, and it's great! I highly recommend reading the prequel, our fingers intertwined (just like our hearts).

This story is a WIP.

Rated M.

24k words, 9 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Play With Fire by ShinyBo0ts0fLeather (s8 canon divergence):

After Hyde comes back from Las Vegas, Sam comes into everyone's life and thus ruining the very last chance he had with Jackie. Instead of the moping around, Jackie is now fueled with fire and a sense of determination to move on and make a life for herself as a strong, independent woman. Instead of turning their back on Jackie and siding with Hyde, Eric, Donna, Kelso, Fez and even Laurie remain loyal friends to Jackie. Hyde is completely broken, but isn't a complete asshole to Jackie. The gang doesn't turn their back on Hyde, but instead support him yet hold him responsible for his actions instead of sweeping it all under the rug. While Jackie is set on moving on, Hyde is set on getting Jackie back and changing his ways for both her and his sake. Whatever it takes.

Eric never left to Africa, and Kelso is in Chicago with Brooke, but is still around. Donna sticks to her feminist values like in the early seasons and is a better friend to Jackie. Jackie is close to the Forman's as well, and her relationship with her father will be prominent and better here as well. Overall positive with some angst.

This story is a WIP.

Rated M.

30k words, 15 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Something Unexpected by crimsinsky (s1 canon divergence):

What if Jackie wasn’t quite so heartbroken over Kelso kissing Pam Macy?

This story is a WIP.

Rated T.

15k words, 11 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Red/Kitty

Spirit In The Night by springsteenicious (s4/s5 canon divergence):

Jackie and Hyde are in the midst of a passionate- and secret- fling. When Kelso's sister lends the six of them her cabin by a lake for a few days, they have to be even more secretive. But secrecy proves to be a difficult thing to maintain, especially when they can't seem to get enough of each other's presence. (Inspired by the Bruce Springsteen song).

This story is funny as hell, and it's a WIP.

Rated T.

4k words, 2 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Take The Money and Run! by MinaSeraphina (post s7):

This here's a story about Steven Hyde and Jackie Blue. Two young lovers with nothin' better to do...

Complete.

Rated M.

29k words, 12 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The One That Wasn't Canon by samcaponi (AU):

Basically, this is an AU where Jackie never dated Kelso. It's not set in a specific season but will take different aspects from each season.

This has to be one of the cutest stories I've ever read in my life.

This story is a WIP.

It doesn't have a rating.

11k words, 9 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Things Fall Apart by leoasc (s8 canon divergence):

On one night in a motel room in Chicago, Jackie and Hyde learn a valuable lesson about love and life: Things fall apart. People get hurt. Hearts get broken. Over the course of nine months and a series of events no one saw coming, they learn how true that really is.

Prepare yourself because your heart's going to be crushed, but the author guaranteed that they'll fix it so I'm trusting them.

This story is a WIP.

60k words, 9 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Too Late by brokenrussiancrawl (s8 canon divergence):

Hyde was not stalking her. It was just, after months of not seeing or hearing from her, finally spotting her in a bar made him realize how much he truly missed her. The only problem is, the tiny brunette wants nothing to do with the gang...even more so him. But he couldn't stay away.

This is angsty. Very, very angsty. But it's great!

This story is a WIP.

Rated T, but the author said that might change later.

23k words, 5 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Jackie/OC, background Eric/Donna

We're Not Broken, Just Bent by SparklingSoul (post s8):

When tragedy strikes and Jackie and Hyde are forced to live up to their godparent duties, they need to overcome their differences and work together. Along the way, they realize that maybe their relationship isn’t broken beyond repair after all...

This story is one of my favorites, I love it so much!! Please read it.

This story is complete.

Rated T.

67k words, 24 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

When Did This Happen? by QueenBookBuff (post s8):

Hyde is stunned when he finds out Jackie and Eric no longer hate each other, and he finds he hates the idea of her having a soft place to land that is not him. What he hates even more is the idea that Eric is protecting Jackie from him.

Angsty and beautiful story, I'm loving it.

This story is a WIP.

Rated M.

46k words, 13 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

One-shots:

Anything For You, Doll by icanseeformiles (missing moment):

One-shot, takes place during season 5. Jackie is sick while staying overnight with Hyde in the basement, and Hyde has to take care of her. All fluff.

Rated T.

2k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Five Years by johnnycakewasgolden (idk, it wasn't specified):

It's been five years. Fluffy fic. Sappiness. H/J.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

He Cared by johnnycakewasgolden (missing moment):

After Hyde tells Kelso that he's a tool for trying to get out of Brooke's pregnancy. Hyde's thoughts drift to Jackie and everything between them.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Here I Go Again by Tandy (I think it's post s8 but I'm not sure):

Life had not turned out like Jackie had planned. She wasn't rich, she had no maid, no mansion, and no husband. (don't worry this is fluffy).

Rated T.

5k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I'll Have To Say I Love You In A Song by springsteenicious (s5 canon divergence):

"Every time the time was right all the words just came out wrong, so I'll have to say I love you in a song..."

Hyde isn't sure how to tell Jackie he loves her. Then he finds the perfect way, and it's a song sung by Jim Croce.

Rated G.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I LOVE YOU by PrettyinPink33 (I think it's s5 canon divergence but I'm not sure):

"Why can't you say it? It's three words. Eight letters! Why can't you say it?" Hyde doesn't want to use the L-word. A sweet little fluffy J/H oneshot

Rated T.

839 words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

is this the place that i've been dreaming of? by SparklingSoul (missing moment):

“I’m mostly over it now,” she continues, “but sometimes I can’t help but worry about that same thing with any guy. So tell me, would you break up with me, too?”

Jackie has some leftover relationship insecurities from when she dated Kelso and Hyde is there to remind her that she doesn't have to worry anymore.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

It's a Hyde Thing by not.so.tragically (AU canon divergence):

It became a Hyde thing. She had part in one of his Hyde things, and for some reason, he was okay with it.

Rated T.

2k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Magic Man by ShanghaiLily (missing moment):

Just a sexy little 'missing scene' one-shot that takes place after Donna returns from California and she and Eric catch Jackie & Hyde together on the couch but before Kelso finds out about the affair. After a naughty afternoon together, they admit to themselves & each other they don't want to break up.

Rated M. Very M.

2k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Nice To Meet You by crimsinsky (AU):

What If Jackie and Hyde met without Jackie and Kelso ever dating?

A loudmouth girl meets a troublemaking knight in shining armor.

Rated T.

2k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Now you're looking pretty in a hotel bar by MissRaichyl (post s8):

Hyde and Jackie meet after a long time apart and find comfort in each other that they thought was long gone.

Rated M.

2k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Old and Grey by zpplnchick (post s8):

After a busy day of shopping, Jackie and Hyde make one last purchase: new boots. Post-finale. Told from a 3rd-party perspective.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

One Special Morning by marirable (missing moment):

If anyone caught him at this hour and in this situation, they would be inevitably buried in the Formans' backyard to maintain his burnout image and not lead it towards the worst. Towards the gang thinking that Hyde got himself a heart.

Rated K.

643 words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

She's a Rainbow by trobedisons (AU? idk):

"she comes in colors everywhere, she combs her hair, she's like a rainbow."

as with everything, jackie is the opposite. they're polar opposites. the rich girl; the bad boy. archetypes that should clash, but they attract. it was as if his calloused hands were crafted to mold into the curve of her hips.

hyde notices jackie’s affinity for rainbow sweaters. hyde also notices he likes jackie. so what happens when she needs a date?

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The Big Toy by JoyfulHeartEO (missing moment?):

When Jackie and Hyde get bored at the Drive in with their friends...where will they go? And what will they do? ;D Read and find out what happens.

Rated M because this has a lot of sex, but it's well written and funny.

3k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Where Did You Sleep Last Night by QueenBookBuff (s8 canon divergence):

Would a married Jackie ever break her vow to be faithful?

I love ALL of QBB's stories, but this one has a special place in my heart, I don't know why.

Rated T.

This work is part of a series, so there's a sequel.

4k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Jackie/Kelso

Why Didn't You Tell Anyone? by zpplnchick (missing moment):

The gang talks about their first kiss, and a surprising revelation is revealed… Set shortly after 4x20.

Rated K+.

6k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

You Give Me Fever by crimsinsky (missing moment):

Jackie is sick, or is she? She claims she is, but Kelso says he saw her not too long ago. Who is Hyde supposed to believe, and what does he do about it?

Rated G.

5k worrds.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

1983 by antrazi (post s8? idk):

Somebody comes back and watches Hyde's life from the outside.

Rated T.

731 words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

*

I think this is it! I probably forgot some fics because my brain is weird, but yeah. I've read all of these, and they're all amazing. I think you'll love them!

#ask #fanfic recommendations #jackie x hyde #jackie and hyde #zenmasters #fanfic #that 70's show #that 70s show

[missorgana]

and they were roommates

pairing: alex/willie, background julie/luke

fandom: julie and the phantoms

rating: general

word count: 2383

warning: swearing

summary: Luke and Reggie make a bet about who can set up their dumbass, pining friends, Alex and Willie, first. What could possibly go wrong? (everyone lives au, matchmaking friends)

(my 12 days of fanfiction event is back with another willex fic for the gays! thank you to my babe @georgiawarrs for the prompt, really hope you enjoy this 💖 uwuuu. and don’t forget, you can still send me prompts if you haven’t already!)

read on ao3

“So it’s a deal, then.”

“Bring it on, dude. I’m so gonna win.”

“Not in a million years, Reg!”

…

In short, Luke and Reggie’s bet is about who can set up their shy, stubborn best friend Alex with his roommate, who he’s been crushing on for God knows how long, first.

Not as simple as it sounds.

Before you ask, no, this is not something they usually do. Or they’ve ever done before.

But honestly, Luke’s had quite enough of the blonde dancing around Willie, previously mentioned roommate, when he’s voiced his feelings for the other boy to his friends multiple times.

Their friend’s only argument when they bring it up is, “No way he’d ever date me. I’m way out of his league.”

And best friends just can’t let each other talk like that about themselves, can they?

Also, having met Willie a handful of times, it’s clear to Luke, Reggie and their moms, probably, that he’s head over heels about Alex.

Even the time Luke met him alone in the cafeteria, all he talked about was Alex. It’s honestly adorable. 

And annoyingly stupid.

So, the mission’s clear: get the two dumbasses on a date, ASAP. And since Reggie insisted he could do it more effectively than Luke, they decided a bet didn’t hurt, not when they were helping their friend out.

What could possibly go wrong?

…

Reggie’s first move happened to be during the boys’ usual lunch plans, and obviously, Luke ain’t gonna miss it.

Sometimes Julie and Flynn join them, but she texted him they were late for band practice, sadly so. He totally didn’t mope about it. But Reg’s right he’ll see her after class, anyway.

Just, that’s a long time, you know? Flynn’s told them they’re too codependent on each other, but he just thinks she’s joking, truth be told.

Anyway, the boys are currently seated on the grass, giving them a perfect view of the football practice, not that they were into that sort of thing. They had to discuss the next Sunset Curve gig, which is fucking huge, and Luke can’t wait.

Julie’s written another perfect song. All her songs are perfect. Just trust him, okay?

But just as Alex’s phone pings with a text, “Hold on, it’s Willie.”, he casually throws the statement out, and Reggie looks at Luke with a spark in his eyes.

Perfect opportunity, he gotta give him that.

“Y’know, Alex,” he starts, trying painfully hard to not be suspicious, “Why aren’t you having lunch with Willie?”

The blonde discards the phone in his hoodie and blinks at his friends.

“We always have lunch together.” he answers, varily, oh God, Alex almost looks disappointed.

Thankfully, Reggie picks it up just as quick as himself, shaking his head, “I know! I know, just… uh, I mean, you’re roommates. Would be weird if you never spent time with him.”

Then he nods. Winks in Luke’s direction. That boy is the least smooth person he’s ever met.

And Alex frowns, “We did homework together last night.”

Oh, yes, the study dates. Emphasis on study, not dates.

The blonde always seems perpetually nervous when he’s brought them up in the past, which was another reason why Luke was sick of him not making a move. Although, he hasn’t talked about them for a while, surprisingly.

He steps in, Reggie should be thankful, “I just think, Reg too, you could invite him to lunch tomorrow.”

“Really?” Alex asks, looking a mixture of shocked and excited. 

“Yeah, man. Julie eats with us all the time, why not?”

Reggie’s quick to add, “And Flynn!” and Luke nods eagerly in agreement.

And although their friend seems convinced, shyly smiling, picking up the phone again, he still continues the questioning, “Well, they’re in the band.”

Ugh, he’s impossible.

“But they’re also our friends, and-”

“Hey, and my girlfriend!”

“Yes, yes, dude, we know.” Reggie draws out the last syllable and pats his shoulder, “And Luke’s girlfriend. But your friends are our friends, Alex.”

Subtle argument, he likes it. Well, it’s a start.

And the blonde finally shrugs, so he thinks they’ve won him over, “Alright. Thanks guys.”

Good thing he’s texting again, not catching the two boys’ smug eye contact.

Luke knows this is Reggie’s victory, but hey, same end goal, right?

…

Two days later, Luke’s prepared to start his own plan.

In case you’re wondering, Willie was supposed to have lunch with the gang on Tuesday, however, Alex let them know he had to help out his dad and cover a waiter’s shift at the café. The blonde’s disappointment about the situation was obvious.

So it’s Thursday, and when Luke spots Willie on the way to campus, on his skateboard, alone, most importantly, he decided to act quickly.

“Willie!”, it’s hard to yell when he’s running, because, damn, he really should do something to better his shape, at least so he’s not dying after a few minutes of jogging. Luckily, the other boy hears him and slows down.

He chuckles and pats his back, not funny, “Hey, man. You okay there?”

Luke’s totally fine, of course. Just hopes he’s not totally red in the face, is all. If that’s the case, Willie’s got heart enough to not mention it.

“Definitely. Ya mind if I walk with you?”

The shorter boy looks surprised. Fair enough, he supposes, Luke always picks up Julie on the way here normally, but she’s got early classes today, so. A bit rude of the school planning, or whatever, honestly.

Maybe he misses her, which doesn’t make him cheesy, okay? It’s only been two days, but like, even when he has a bad day, when he plays wrong, or his parents argue with him, she smiles at him like it’s all gonna be okay.

Luke can’t think about her without getting sappy, so he’s gotta focus on the mission, for now, and Willie’s nodded in response, casually rolling down the sidewalk so he’ll catch up.

“So, I’ve been thinking,” he tries as casually as possible, keep it cool Luke, don’t give away your true motive, “You like Alex, right?”

The other boy jumps down from the rail he used as a ramp, landing with the same surprised face as before. He also does this thing where kicks the skateboard up and catches it under his arm.

It possibly confuses the hell out of Luke, to be honest, then again, one might feel the same about him playing the guitar, or, you know, any skill you don’t have. Too much thinking.

“Of course I do.” the skater tells him simply, and confidently so.

In his mind, he can easily picture himself winning this. Huge applause, cake, the lot.

“Good! I know, but you know, you should totally invite him to one of your skating…” he pauses, because Luke’s honestly sure where he’s going with the sentence, regardless, when nothing else works, freestyle, “Gigs?”

Willie looks at him with a weird expression, then laughs heartily, turning his eyes to the ground. He hopes that’s a good sign.

“Competitions?” the shorter boy helps, to which Luke nods, but the other keeps going, “He’s come by in the park sometimes, but you might have a point with that. You think he’ll like it?”

“Uh, duh.” he says with a click of his tongue, “Not that he’ll admit it, but trust me.”

And although it sounds settled and set in stone, the skater gives him another weird look. Luke brushes it off, because really, getting dating advice from your crushes’ friend is a bit ridiculous. What’s he supposed to do when they’re so stupidly stubborn, though?

“Alright, I’ll give it a shot.”

…

Guess what? Luke’s earned himself a point ahead of Reggie, due to the brilliant idea he voiced to Willie last week. Yes, brilliant, obviously!

“We’re in a tie, you know that right?” Reg tells him, which isn’t true at all, because his lunch proposal only half worked, and that’s exactly what he tells his friend.

The boy rolls his eyes. “Not fair”, his ass!

Anyway, Alex was excited going to his crush’s skating show on Friday, and they both consider that a win regardless. The blonde’s raving about it over band practice, well, less the show, more how pretty Willie looked when he tied his hair up in a bun.

Needless to say, they both find their friend adorable, almost can’t contain some self-satisfied smiles. So far, so good.

Their nosy attempts at figuring out if Alex then got himself together and made a move crashed devastatingly, however.

“Couldn’t talk long after, curfew.” he told them, and damn, he looked like a puppy kicked to the curb. 

So goddamn annoying, but alright, this time around it was out of their power.

Luckily, it’s Sunset Curve’s next gig in two days, and Reggie’s got the perfect countermove, Luke’s gonna give it to him. This move being inviting Willie to previously mentioned concert, and since it’s the first round of Battle of the Bands, tension’s high.

Their best friend pales when they announce the exciting news.

“This is a good thing, dude! He’ll love seeing you play!”

“And us- Ow!”

“You deserve it.” Luke simply tells Reggie, crossing his arms.

“Guys!” the blonde interrupts, fiddling with the drumsticks and looking like he just saw a ghost, “I can’t just play knowing Willie’s there! What if I fuck up?”

And so Luke has to shake his head at his dear, overthinking boy. Not that Luke’s haven’t had that consideration before, hell, his mom and dad hearing their tape terrified the shit out of him, but that fear’s getting in the way of the matchmaking.

Besides, those two are meant to be. Seriously, he knows they’re barely halfway in their young lives, all of them, but they’re perfect!

Smiling at each other all the time like idiots. Luke’s got a feeling he does that with Julie, too.

“You won’t,” Reggie interrupts his own train of thought, “You never do, Alex.”

“Besides, he looked thrilled, man! We’ll leave you alone after the show.”

“Promise!” Reg chimes in, and they wink in semi-unison, just to get the point across. It’s almost worrying when Alex sighs, but he shrugs nonetheless.

“If you say so.”

…

So although the gig went fantastic, and Alex and Willie were annoyingly cute but even more so awkward as hell around each other after, Luke’s maybe going a bit crazy.

Okay, alright, it’s only the third week, but neither of the boys seem to be giving clues that they’re finally realising how stupid they are.

Maybe Luke doesn’t know, explicitly, if Willie crushes on Alex too, but it’s obvious! 99.9 percent!

It’s ridiculous how much their best friend’s pining leads up to nothing, and both of them start to understand some of those slow burn fanfictions out there. Which Reggie made him read, by the way. If anyone asks Reg, he’ll blame it on Julie, probably.

Thankfully, an opportunity presents itself on a silver platter, when Carrie Wilson throws her over the top birthday party.

To be honest, Luke’s not sure how to feel about her, given the past long feud, even though Julie’s assured him she’s changed. He’d trust her with anything, so it’s fine. And seriously, he swears he overheard Flynn asking Carrie on a date, but their friend denied it straight up to his face.

Regardless, since guests (meaning, the entire school) are usually allowed a plus one, Reggie and himself figured it was their job to arrange Alex bringing Willie along.

One weird detail to it all, before they could even bring it up, Alex chimed in, during what feels like their 500th Star Wars marathon night, “You guys… you- uh, you think I should invite Willie to Carrie’s party?”

Did the universe just thank them for their service, or something?

Of course, both boys eagerly nodded, practically jumping in their bean bags, while simultaneously making a little of a deal of it as possible.

Literally proof that soulmates exist, Luke thinks. Yes, that is melodramatic, but he doesn’t give a shit, frankly.

Only problem?

They’re at the very party, the center of the mission now, and Alex and Willie are acting just as shy as usual. The blonde’s even fiddling anxiously, like he always does around his crush, and given that they haven’t lost sight of either of them yet, Reggie voices another sigh to him.

Maybe this is a sign from the universe to not intervene, then, he supposes.

They’re at the ping pong table, the two boys, who apparently are determined to remain clueless for eternity, left for the kitchen to get more snacks.

Seems like Julie’s noticed his own beated demeanor, cause she appears at his side, leaning her head on his shoulder. He can’t not smile, just a little bit.

“What’s got you two losers down?” Flynn asks, suddenly in front of them, and Reg will probably mopily deny he jumped.

“Ugh,” is all Luke says.

“Alex and Willie are impossible.” Reggie adds, nodding in agreement, and instead of the expected understanding, Julie frowns up at him.

“What do you mean?”

Maybe Luke’s sort of embarrassed admitting the plan to her, sensing she’ll find it silly, but really, he can’t hide anything from her, and they’ve given up by now, anyway, “We’ve been trying to get them to admit their feelings for each other.”

Flynn’s frowning now, too.

“We actually had a bet-”

“Yeah, but! Like we love Alex, and he’s so lost on him. But we’ve tried everything.”

“They’re too annoying.” adds Reggie for good measure.

And all of a sudden, Julie’s giggling. Her best friend too, and judging by the look Reg’s giving him, he’s just as confused as himself. She’s so cute when she’s laughing, though, despite this boggling his mind.

“How do you guys not know this?!” Flynn’s saying, and when they’re only scratching their heads, because how do they expect them to understand that, Julie smiles her sunshine smile and pokes Luke’s chin, “They’re roommates, you know.”

That doesn’t make any sense. Whatsoever.

Not until Alex and Willie return with a bucket of popcorn, the skater hanging on to their friend’s hoodie sleeve. Of course, he makes his leave for the bathroom, kissing the blonde’s nose on the way.

Reggie looks at Luke. Oh my god, they’re roommates.

#mine #my writing #jatpedit #fanfiction #12dayfic #willex #julie and the phantoms #writing #queernet #creatorssource #eloquencenet #jatp fanfic #alex x willie #usersabrina #userems #usersari #fluff #general #everyone lives au #outsider pov #roommates #tw: swearing #established relationship #nose kisses #usermarisa #myedit

[queerbutstillhere-writes]

Mutual Pining

"I'm going to literally put my head through a wall."

"Pftt, why?"

Cissie shot a glare at Cassie, then turned, pointing at Bart.

"So? He's just . . . What is he doing?"

Bart was sitting on the beanbags in the corner of Cassie's room, just . . . Staring into space. He never sat still. Ever. Not for this long, anyway.

"He's been like this for weeks, Cassie."

"Why?" Cassie asked her girlfriend, shifting to look at her phone better.

"Take a wild guess."

Cassie sighed and set down the device, looking up at her fellow blonde, thinking. What could have Bart Allen literally moping.

Oh.

"Is it because of Tim?"

Cassie had overheard Bart talking to Cissie once about his crush on Tim. It sounded like he was in pretty deep, but no one knew Tim's sexuality.

"Close."

"Close? How can I be wrong, is there anything else that boy thinks of?"

"Yep. Well. Two things. Food, and . . ."

"And what?" Cassie asked, narrowing her eyes.

Cissie seemed less annoyed and more just amused now. Amused at holding this over Cassie, watching her struggle for the truth.

"What is the one thing, everyone on this team, has all been head over heels for?"

Cassie blinked at Cissie. Then she slowly turned to look at Bart. Then back at Cissie.

"OH MY GOD, KON?!?!"

Tim tapped angrily at the edge of the desk, scowling at his computer screen, then looking down at the case file.

"What's got your bat-panties in a twist?"

Tim didn't bother to respond. Nor did he bother to look up at Dick as the older vigilante walked over and ruffled his hair.

"Hey. You're tapping, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just tap."

This was true. He would bounce his leg or drum on surfaces or two against his collarbone. He just did that. It wasn't even something he thought about or noticed anymore.

"Okay. That's fair. But why are you glaring at the computer screen like it personally wronged you."

"It has. This case isn't panning out like I thought."

Dick was silent for a bit.

"Kon called earlier."

"Oh?"

Dick nodded, still reading the monitor. "He sounded worried. Said something about you missing a meeting?"

"They had training drills today. I couldn't make it."

A few beats of silence.

"Why not? You weren't doing anything. It's summer break."

"I was working on this case."

"So you skipped training with some of your only friends because of a case?"

Tim scowled deeper. Why was Dick questioning him? Why couldn't Dick just mind his own business? Tim didn't want to discuss it anyway. Besides, it's not like he was avoiding his friends or anything. No, nothing like that.

"It's an important case."

Dick snorted. "No offense Tim, but I don't really think the theft of those two paintings are really all that important. Besides, you know Bruce was just going to ask Selina."

Tim neglected to answer, leaning forwards and hitting a few buttons to run a program search.

"Why are you avoiding them."

To his credit, Tim didn't react, just watched code run across the screen as his program worked. Then he slowly looked over at Dick. His question had not been worded as a question. It had very much been worded as a statement. You're avoiding your friends and I want to know why.

"I'm not."

"You are. Normally when I would mention Kon, you'd at least grin or something, but just now you sat there and scowled like Bruce. Oh god are you becoming Bruce? Oh no, we need to get you help, quick-"

Dick grabbed Tim by the armpits and started pulling.

"Quit!" Tim said, but did laugh a bit, smacking at Dick with one hand as he grabbed onto the desk with the other, holding himself in place.

"Come on, Timmy, what's wrong?"

Dick asked, going serious once more as he sat on the desk, facing Tim.

Alright. Time to take a calculated risk. Talk to Dick, your kind of older brother who definitely has more relationship practice, and also practice with this certain issue, or continue to be harassed by him.

Then again, telling him could lead to more harassment.

Does Dick know he's gay?

Never mind, just don't mention genders and he'll probably assume you mean the girls.

"Okay. Okay fine. Don't tell anyone about this."

"My lips are sealed," Dick promised, smiling and pulling a leg up, knee against his chest.

"I thought I had a crush on one of my friends."

"Okay."

"Except now I think I have a crush on two of them."

Dick was silent for a moment, head tilted at him, considering this.

"Kon and Bart?"

Tim scowled, crossing his arms, facing Dick fully.

"Why did you immediately assume them?"

"I'm a detective the same as you are, Tim. I have eyes. I see the way you look at them, the way you act, posturing and showing off. I know how to recognize teen boys with crushes."

"Except when you're the teen boy with a crush."

Dick snorted, shaking his head. "Yeah, unless it's me. So am I right."

Tim hesitated, then nodded.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know! I really like them both, but Kon's so straight and Bart . . . Bart just doesn't talk about relationship and things so I have no clue what he thinks."

Dick nodded distantly, and Tim really hoped he was thinking of ways to help and not ways to mock.

"Have you, and this just an idea. Have you considered asking them?"

"Why would I do that?"

"To find out?"

"Dick they don't even know I'm not straight!" Tim exclaimed, feeling more annoyed than anything.

"So tell them." Dick shrugged.

"That's not how this works."

"Tim. They're your friends. I highly doubt either of them have a problem with it. . . Now the crush thing, that may be an issue.

Tim groaned and dropped his head to the desk, banging it a few times.

So what if he had a crush on his two best friends. It didn't matter. He wouldn't say anything. It's not like he wanted to hold their hands and kiss them and cuddle and- no, it's not like he absolutely craved any of that.

Besides, even if he did come out to them, he'd have to pick between them, and he didn't think he could.

He'd have to pick, right?

"Why are you moping, kid?"

Kon glanced up at Kyle, scowling.

"I'm not moping."

"Oh you soo are."

Kyle easily picked up a huge piece of cement debris with his ring and spun, putting it on the big green truck full of other debris.

"I'm not!"

Kyle snorted, floating down to be level with Kon, who had done a third of the work Kyle had done so far.

"Sure. No moping, got it. So what is the cause of your Not-Moping?"

"None of your business," Kon muttered, picking up a piece of cement tangled with steel and turned, placing it on Kyle's construct truck.

"Okay okay. Do you want me to go get Supes then because-"

"No! Don't you dare!"

Kyle cracked a grin, creating two chairs with his constructs.

"Sit down and tell doc Kyle."

"I hate you."

But Conner sat down in the chaise like construct, glaring at the Green Lantern.

"I'm having relationship issues."

"Oh god that's a fucking mood. What's happening."

"There's this guy I really like. . . "

"Oh."

"Except, it's not just one guy."

"Oof."

"Yeah. And I don't think either of them know I'm not straight and that I like boys too, and I don't . . . Liking both of them is a problem."

"Ah, a classic love triangle. Alright, you want help cracking this?"

Kon took a deep breath, ready to yell at Kyle and tell him to piss off.

"So step one, you gotta come out to them. If one is like "ew, gross" then they're off the table," Kyle started, not even waiting for permission. "Two, see who you fit better with, personality wise, who do you get along with more. Three, make a decision. Probably regret it later."

". . . Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Kyle."

"See, I do know things! Like I know that you're way behind on clean up so you better get your ass in there!"

Kon scoffed as Kyle shoved him forwards, toward the debris, but he just returned to picking up, thinking as he worked.

Kyle was right. He should come out first. He'd been meaning to for a while, anyway. He'd only dated girls so far, but he still very much liked boys. Especially, as he had recently realized, Tim and Bart.

He was so screwed.

Why did he have to fall for both of them?

Bart was going to vibrate out of his skin.

The problem literally wasn't with him this time.

For once.

See, where he had come from, relationships were just whatever you made of them. Sexuality was more fluid and open, gender was just weird, standard relationships weren't necessarily between two people, sometimes there was as many as five people in one relationship. Sometimes there were even more. But. That's not how things worked here.

But he was going to vibrate out of his skin because he wanted to date his best friends and that's not how things worked here.

He just wanted cuddle piles and kissing and holding hands with both of them. Because he was in love with both of them.

And right now he was stuck, watching them flirt, and realizing that if anyone was going to get to date them, it would be each other and he wouldn't be involved. He'd be lonely.

Cue "All By Myself" by Celine Dion.

It was obvious Kon and Tim liked each other. They did all the typical flirty things, showing off, trying to one up each other, so on and so forth. They grinned at each other and touched each other and stared fondly at each other from across the room. Bart saw it all. And he knew he would never be the receiving end of all those looks and little things.

Only he was. And for all his speed, he never saw it.

He never saw how Tim fondly smiled and shook his head when Bart zipped off to do something silly. He never saw how Kon would just space off staring at him, a stupid grin plastered on his face. He never noticed the fond comments and nudges and smiles. He never really paid attention to how Kon often threw an arm around his shoulders as he traded him. And he never really noticed how Tim was always checking on him first after the team got hit hard. He didn't notice these things.

And boy, he would have gone into this conversation a lot different if he had.

They were all three just hanging out, laying around in the lounge area of their headquarters, Bart was laying half off the sofa, playing a video game on his DS. He wasn't really paying attention to what the others were doing because he was focused for once. Then Kon spoke.

"Hey, can uh. . . Can you two listen for a moment."

"Yup," Bart responded instantly, even as he moved so his feet were on top of the sofa and his head was dangling off.

"No like. Really listen, Bart."

So Bart sighed and paused the game, setting it down and looking back at Kon. Once he had Tim's attention, he spoke again.

"I'm . . . Uh, I'm bi."

Tim blinked at him, Bart scowled.

"What's that," he asked, and then gave a little wave. "Bye?"

Kon snorted and shook his head. "No, imp, bi. Bisexual. I like boys and girls."

"Oh. . . Huh. Neat."

Kon seemed nervous. Why was he nervous? Did he think they would accept him? That would be dumb if him, Bart was pretty sure he had mentioned how things worked in the future. So maybe he was worried about Tim? But why would he worry about Tim? Tim was their best friend. Why would Tim judge?

Kon was, in fact, looking at Tim now.

"Okay. Thank you for trusting us," Tim said with a smile.

A forced smile. His face was carefully controlled, even Bart could see that. Kon could definitely see it.

"Sorry if this uh, makes anything weird?"

Tim just shook his head. "No, you don't need to apologize, Kon. We want you to feel comfortable with us."

Kon nodded once, but stayed quiet. Bart glanced between them, as they were staring at each other, then sighed sadly, picking up his DS again.

Loneellyyyyy, I'm so lonnnellyyyy.

Ohmigodohmigodohmigodohmiodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigod

Tim's brain had been screaming that for hours now, ever since Kon had come out.

So sue him for going to Blüdhaven instead of Gotham.

He banged on the window that he knew Dick climbed in and out of, waiting until the other vigilante slid it open.

"You know I have a front door, right?" Dick asked, leaning on the window sill.

"I know but I need to talk, are you free?"

"Not particularly."

Dick pointed behind him and Tim looked past to see a couple of the Titans inside, eating pizza that he could just now smell. His mouth started watering.

"Let him in, Dickiebird! We'll stay quiet!"

Dick squinted at Tim, but he knew it was directed to Roy.

"Yeah, fine, you can come in if you still want to talk with them here."

Tim found himself sat on the only free armchair, pizza in hand. He looked at the Titans, and then shrugged, taking a breath.

"You know that guy I was telling you about," Tim started warily, not wanting to out Kon to all of his brothers friends.

"The one you liked?"

"Yeah. The one with the dark hair."

Dick nodded. Thankfully he had picked up that Tim was trying to avoid names.

"He just told me that he's bi."

"Hey! That's great!" Dick exclaimed, grinning.

"Yeah. . ."

"You gonna tell him, or?"

Tim was silent for a bit, munching on his pizza.

"Should I? But what about the other . . ."

"Oh you're right," Dick scowled at the floor.

The Titans exchanged looks.

"What's going on?" Donna asked finally.

"Tim here has a crush on two separate guys, who are pretty close friends," Dick explained vaguely.

"Oh, classic. That sucks dude," Wally said, nodding and looking thoughtful.

It was Roy who shrugged and said the words that would be stuck on Tim's mind for the next month.

"Date them both."

Well step one had failed ultimately. Or well, rather, it went amazing.

But he was still stuck with having crushes on both Tim and Bart.

The problem is - as Tim had also previously complained about, unbeknownst to Kon - Tim is like, straight straight, and Bart just doesn't seem interested in relationships.

So he was so fucking screwed.

He was just laying in bed, moping and feeling sorry for himself, when there was a shout from downstairs.

"Kon! There's a girl on the phone for ya!"

Kon scowled at the ceiling. Phone? It was probably Cassie. But what could she want. With a sigh he pushed himself out of bed, grabbing a shirt and putting it on as he walked downstairs.

"Ma, where's the phone?" He asked as he got downstairs, stopping in the kitchen where Ma Kent was aggressively kneading dough.

She pointed at a wireless phone on the counter so he grabbed it, stepping out onto the back deck.

"Hello?"

"Hi. I'm tired of playing babysitter, come pick Bart up."

"Cissie?"

"Yep. Hi."

"Wait, babysitter? What's going on?"

Cissie paused, speaking to someone else on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah. Max left Bart in my charge for the day and I can't handle his moping anymore."

"Moping? Bart, moping?"

"It doesn't sound believable, but come get him and you'll see."

"Okay, let me to ask Ma."

40 minutes later, Kon was landing outside Cissie's house, knocking on the door out of courtesy before walking in. He first thing he noticed was one Bart Allen laying on the sofa, staring at the tv.

"Bart?"

"Kon!"

And just like that the ginger was hugging him tightly, eyes squeezed close as he squeezed around Kon's stomach. Kon just grunted lightly and hugged Bart back.

"Hey, imp. What's with you? Sis said you've been moping?"

"I-" Bart pulled away, scowling. "Not moping."

Kon snorted, but scooped Bart up, tossing him over his shoulder easily. Bart squealed in protest, grabbing Kon's belt loops.

"Where's Cissie anyway?"

"Dunno."

Kon carried him through the house, not even bothered by his weight. He weighed like maybe a 100 pounds anyway. They found Cissie in her bedroom, painting her nails and listening to music.

"What are you doing? Leaving a child unattended like this?"

Cissie looked up, eyebrow raising.

"What are you doing? Carrying a child like a sack of potatoes?"

"He's not a child."

"You just called him a child!"

Kon just grinned at Cissie and she rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, feel free to take him home."

"Really, you're just gonna do that?" Kon asked, feeling shocked that Cissie would just dump Bart, one of her best friends, on him like this.

"Yeah. It's you he wants to hang out with anyway."

"Cissie!" Bart complained, bracing his hands against Kon's back.

"Am I wrong?!"

"Shut up!"

Okay what was going on here?"

"Just have him back by like, I dunno, what time was Max coming to get you?"

"Nine."

"Okay. Have him back by eight thirty."

So Kon ended up leaving with Bart.

They raced back to Kansas, causing sonic booms and destroying a few fields along their way, but Bart was laughing and having fun, so that's all that really mattered.

When they got back to the farm, Ma Kent immediately had some chores for them to do, so they spent a few hours doing that and then stumbled inside, crashing on Kon's bed, side by side, still giggling from something Kon had said. Bart looked over at him, going quiet, smiling softly.

"What?" Kon asked, not knowing that he was also smiling back.

"Nothing. I just missed you."

"Oh."

Silence. Bart's eyes were really gold.

Why were they gold?

Who knows, but they're gorgeous. Kon really likes his eyes.

And then he was leaning in and lightly kissing Bart.

There was this slight pause, before their lips met, where he was leaning in. They were just inches apart, breath mixing, noses almost touching. Kon looked up at Barts beautiful golden eyes, as they both hesitated. It would have only been a mere second for anyone without speed based powers, but for them, the moment stretched out for a while. Kon was waiting, giving Bart the opportunity to pull away, to set down boundaries.

But then Bart's eyes slid shut and he tilted his face up towards Kon. This was permission if Kon had ever seen it, and he closed the small distance, lightly pressing their lips together.

It was soft and sweet and timid. Bart's lips were slightly chapped, probably from all the running in the wind - could he get Tim or Wally to make a super hydrating chapstick formula? - but Kon couldn't care less, because he was kissing Bart.

Kon pulled away first, pulling back far enough to look at Bart, who was steadily grinning more and more, slowly pulling his eyes open.

"You-"

Then he giggled, and kept giggling, rolling away and pressing his face into the sheets.

"What?" Kon asked, confused. But Bart kept giggling and Kon frowned. "What?!"

Kon rolled over so he was practically laying on top of Bart, tickling him, causing him to laugh harder, squealing and trying to get away from Kon. Obviously he didn't actually want to, or he would have been on the other side of the room by now.

By the time Bart finally stopped laughing, they were both in stitches, just grinning at each other as they gasped for air.

"Okay, what was so funny?" Kon asked finally, once he could breathe properly.

Bart took a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling.

"I thought you were in love with Tim."

Kon blinked at him. "Oh."

Bart didn't respond, but did look over. Kon was silent for a bit.

"Which is. . . Honestly totally fair, because-"

Bart was rambling, but Kon was starting to realize that maybe, maybe, Bart had been in love with him.

"Bart-"

"And like, he's really pretty and I totally understand-"

"Bart."

"Because like, I'm kinda in love with him too."

"I like you both."

They had both spoken at the same time. There was about two seconds and then Bart was sitting up quickly, looking down at Kon.

"Could you run that by me one more time?" He asked, eyes wide.

"Uh. I like you both?"

Bart blinked at him, then grinned, flapping his hands slightly in excitement. Well, slightly for Bart. They were going slightly blurry.

"Oh my god I thought I was insane."

"What?"

Bart dove at him, and Kon grunted as Bart landed on his chest, chin on his breastbone.

"I thought I was crazy for being in love with both of my best friends. Well. Actually it's not that crazy for me. The future is like, super chill about relationships and stuff. But like, nowadays people think things like that are weird and-"

"Bart, what are you talking about?"

Bart scowled, looking away as he thought.

"Urggh, what's the current word for it?"

He scrunched up his nose, and Kon felt this pang of just pure emotions.

"Oh! Polyamory!"

Kon blinked once, then twice, then a third time. And it was clear Bart realized he may have made a mistake.

"Kon-"

"Wait. Like. Dating both of you?"

"Yeah, it's a thing in the future, I know a lot of people aren't comfortable with it and-"

Bart slid off of Kon, standing and starting to pace slightly.

"I just, I really like both of you and I want both of you and-"

Bart kept talking, but Kon was just staring at the wall now, thinking about this. Why had he never thought about this. Dating both Tim and Bart? It might be a little strange at first. And as Bart said, a lot of people probably aren't comfortable with it.

Bart had apparently out-worried himself and collapsed on the bed next to Kon, their legs touching as Bart looked up at him.

"Kon?"

"Yeah?" He asked, looking down.

"Can I kiss you again?"

Bart's golden eyes were wide and pleading. Puppy dog eyes. Who had taught that boy puppy dog eyes. Kon just ducked his head and pressed his lips to Bart's lightly. Bart sighed softly, pressing up into him.

"Boys?! Didn't Bart have to be back by eight thirty!?"

......

Tim was probably going to cry.

Okay not actually but he was kinda sad now so that's fine.

Reason for his sadness? Bart and Kon had gotten together two days ago.

Yup, you read that right. His two best friends who he's being incredibly gay for pretty much since he met them are now dating.

It's fine.

He's fine.

He's not.

When he had found out it felt like a knife through his chest. His breath had been stolen and he had wanted to cry, but he had to smile and fake that he was happy for them. They grinned back and would cling on each other and kiss each other and it was painful.

It was so painful.

And he didn't see the frowns and side glances and every little hint that they were doing this for his attention, to see how he'd react.

He was just heartbroken.

It would have sucked if had just been one. It had sucked when Kon and Cassie dated, but not quite like this did. Because he hadn't been in love with Cassie and he hadn't been in love Kon back then. But no  he was in love with both Kon and Bart and now they were together .

He kinda felt like crying.

He had gotten out of there as fast as possible, and sat on a gargoyle, staring off the roof and pretending he was patrolling.

He may have ended up avoiding Bart and Kon for the next few days, just because he can't. He couldn't be around them, and be with them and yet not with them.

It hurt so much because he thought that he and Kon had actually had something. He wasn't that dumb, he could tell when they were flirting. He knew that. He knew it happened a lot. And yet Kon had gotten with Bart.

He was jealous.

He was so jealous.

He hated how jealous he was.

He hated this so much.

"Why is he so difficult?"

"He's a brains over emotions, person, Bart. Patience."

"I'm not patient."

"I know," Kon said with a laugh, pulling Bart down into his lap.

Bart huffed, putting an arm around Kon's neck and pressing his forehead against Kon's head.

"What's wrong?"

They both looked up at Max as he walked in, raising an eyebrow at them.

"Tim."

Max raised an eyebrow, looking from his ward to Kon.

"Still trying to get him to date you two?"

"Yeah. He's avoiding us now."

"I think we should just go and talk to him," Bart grumbled.

"And I think we should give him space. He's clearly upset by us dating."

Max just nodded for a moment, sipping from the glass in his hand.

"Conner, I think I have to agree with Bart here. He's not going to realize what you want from him if you don't talk to him. Those Bats boys are like that."

The Max turned and walked out. Bart grinned at Kon smugly, and he just sighed

"Fine. Talk to him," he agreed. "Do you want to do it, since you did so good with me?"

"Yes! I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Wait, Bart-"

Bart kissed him and then disappeared in a shower of sparks. Kon sighed and shook his head, standing and picking up his backpack, calling a goodbye to Max as he walked out.

Tim nearly screamed when Bart appeared with a shower of sparks and a burst of wind, sending his papers flying.

"Oops!"

In another burst of light, the papers were gently replaced in their rightful spots. Tim sighed and looked up to Bart, who was now standing at his elbow, just in civilian wear.

"Bart?" He asked by way of a greeting, setting down his pencil.

"Hi! Watcha doing?"

"Homework."

"Oh. Boo. Homework is boring."

"Don't you have homework?"

"Technically yes, but Kon was over so I did it all super fast, don't tell Max though, and now I'm here because I want to talk to you!"

Tim raised an eyebrow, turning his desk chair to face Bart.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to ask you about something."

Bart hopped up on his desk, his little legs swinging. He was grinning, but he looked a little nervous, all the same.

"Okay. Shoot."

Bart hesitated.

Bart Allen hesitated.

This should have clued Tim in on what Bart was wanting to ask. It was apparently a very serious topic if Bart Allen hesitated to speak his mind.

"You know how Kon and I got together the other day?"

"I'm aware," Tim bit out, teeth clenched, trying to keep the scowl off his face. He wouldn't snap at Bart.

Bart bit his lip, looking down at the floor. He was hesitating again. And suddenly he looked a lot more nervous. Then he looked up, made eye contact with Tim, and then slid off the desk.

Before Tim could register what Bart was doing, the ginger had leaned down and was kissing him.

Tim shoved him off quickly, and was up, out of his chair and several steps back.

"What the hell?!"

"What?" Bart was staring at him with wide, worried eyes.

"Bart! You can't just do that! Not when you're dating Kon! What the hell?!"

Bart sighed, hanging his head and stepping back.

"I'm doing this wrong. Don't- just wait."

Tim scowled at him, putting his hands on his hips.

"What the hell is going on?"

Bart shoved a hand into his poofy hair, then turned to face Tim.

"We want you. We both want you. We want to be with each other, but we want to be with you, too."

Bart looked so sincere, and he looked scared. He was giving Tim this mixed look of fear, hope, love, and longing.

Tim went silent.

He hated to admit it, but his brain immediately went logical, examining all of the things Bart had just said to him, taking them apart word by word and making sure he fully understood what was happening. He looked at this with a very cynical thought process. And he ignored the part of his mind that was freaking out because of what Bart's proposal had meant.

"Tim?" Bart's voice asked, and now he mostly sounded scared. "If you don't- just let me know and I'll never mention it again."

Tim didn't respond.

They wanted to be with him. Clearly they had discussed this, and apparently quite a lot, if it had reached the point of actually bringing it up to Tim. Bart wanted to be with Tim, Kon wanted to be with Tim. Tim wanted to be with both of them. They could all date. Yes they'd have to hide it from the public, because people wouldn't approve of this type of relationship. But what did it matter. Tim already knew Dick would approve, and he suspected Bruce wouldn't have a problem with it. Maybe the Kent's would. But it's not like Kon cared what Clark said, Martha and Jonathan on the other hand. . .

Bart was still staring at him, wringing his hands, and Tim remembered that he needed to give some kind of reaction. Something. Anything before Bart started getting upset.

"Bart."

The ginger's head snapped up and Tim realized he was too late, Bart was already upset.

He walked over and grabbed Bart's hands, squeezing them, then moving his hands up to his face.

"Bart."

Bart blinked at him, his eyes weren't quite wet yet, but they were certainly close. Tim didn't know what to say. He wasn't good with emotions. So he leaned in and gently kissed Bart again. There was about a half a second of a pause and then Bart was eagerly pressing into him, hands grabbing onto Tim's arms, squeezing as they kissed. Squeezing as they backed up until Tim's shins hit his bed and they were toppling over, lips parted as their kiss deepened.

"Does this mean?" Bart breathed out, their breath mixing as he had just barely pulled away.

"I want it," Tim confirmed, and pulled Bart back in for another kiss.

Kissing Bart was exciting and new. It was like jolts of electricity running through him and yet soft and sweet and practically frustrating with how gentle it was. He wanted more and yet didn't want to lose this soft perfect kiss.

"Kon's gonna be so stoked," Bart mumbled, kissing Tim's jaw lightly.

"Tell him tomorrow," Tim told Bart, keeping his arms hooked over Bart's shoulders, keeping him down.

"Tomorrow."

Kon wasn't that surprised when Bart practically accosted him the moment he walked into the headquarters. He wasn't surprised when Bart leaned up and kissed him. He wasn't surprised when Bart pulled him away, into a side room they rarely used, that seemed a bit like an office.

He was surprised when Tim was sitting in front of a table, reading a book. And he was surprised when Bart zipped over to their fearless leader and bent down, kissing him gentle.

"Oh," Kon said, pieces falling into place. "Talk went well then?"

He shut the door behind him, and watched as Tim closed his book, standing.

"If you still want me," Tim said softly, glancing up and down over Kon.

"Of course, I do."

Kon walked over, grinning. He was happy. This was what he wanted. This was good. This was perfect. He put his hands on Tim's hips, tugging him in.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please."

Kon bent down and gently kissed him, and Tim was immediately pressing back into him.

"We're really gonna have to talk about sharing, aren't we?" Bart asked, and they both pulled away, laughing.

Yeah. This was going to be good. Kon could feel it. They would have their fights, and their bumps in the road. But it would be good. It would be worth it.

@core-disaster-week-2020

#timkonbart week #core disaster week #timkonbart #core disaster #tim drake #conner kent #bart allen #queerbutstillhere writes #queerbutstillhere

[queenlilith43]

Why Malec Works Together-and SnowBaz Doesn't

Hello, everyone. Yes, I know this is technically my hiatus, but writing essays is a thing I do often so I wrote this thing.

If you've been paying attention to my Goodreads, I recently read Carry On. And I had THOUGHTS on that book. I actually ended up eating it two stars because the world building convinced me to read the second book.

Then I DNFed it at 44 pages.

So in this essay I will compare Simon and Baz's relationship to a better queer relationship-Magnus and Alec. Be prepared for some hot takes.

The first problem I see with Carry On (just in the whole) is when we first get Baz's POV. And the first thing we learn is that he is GAY. Like, hopelessly pining for Simon gay. And it for me it felt . . . Unnecessary.

It was like I'd been smacked with the sudden realization he was gay. And it didn't feel right at all.

Compared to when I found out Alec was gay in City of Bones. I was like, "okay." It worked.

Even though both Alec and Baz are both loners, Alec was at least shown as gay before that. Clary picked up on the way he was looking at Jace at least fifty pages before Izzy confirmed it.

It was the exact same with Simon suddenly being attracted to guys. Baz kisses him, and he's like, "I must be gay! But I'm straight!" Completely skips over bisexuals being a thing, which reeks of biphobia. (I'm also bi, so thanks, Rainbow Rowell, for erasing my identity.)

Compared to Magnus, whose bisexuality is not a surprise and works perfectly with him. Magnus is one of the best bisexuals in books I've read because he does care what people think of him. He acts and then thinks later. Hey, at least Magnus isn't some kind of rip-off Chosen Harry Potter.

Another issue I have is that Simon and Baz HAVE NO CHEMISTRY. Like, yes, Baz had a crush on him. But so did Alec for Jace and those two were never going to end up together even if Jace wasn't his parabatai and also queer. (Although Alone though Simon and Jace were dating; Jace could totally be bi or something.)

Baz just kissed Simon, and all of a sudden, Simon just loves him. Despite the fact Baz has been kind of a dick towards him for the entire time. Not the worst person, but the annoying roommate who REFUSES to pick up their socks. (Not exactly canon but he gives off those vibes.)

Somehow the rest of the book (which is less than 200 pages because the last 100 were hopeless gay pining and before that 200 pages of STRAIGHT) manages to drill this horrible no-chemistry relationship into you. It shows how bad their chemistry is.

Basically Simon is left alone to solve his problems, which he technically caused. So the other antagonist dies and Simon gets a devil tail and some wings. He looks like a rip-off blue Lucifer. I'm not even joking.

I don't even think Baz helped whatsoever. He just vibes with Simon's other friends, who didn't even help either.

Whereas we have Magnus and Alec where Magnus had to show up and help the Shadowhunters simply because he was dating Alec. Magnus, for no other reason than Alec, helped. And he actually did things, like doing some magic with Valentine's ship, fighting against Valentine's demons in City of Glass, and even going as far to SUMMON AZAZEL. That's pretty serious.

Even if Alec isn't technically the Chosen One, he's still chosen in the sense of being chosen to fight demons. The Shadowhunters are the warriors, who have to right against the demons. They were literally CHOSEN BY THE ANGEL RAZIEL. That's close enough for me.

Also, when Alec and Magnus fought together (Alliance rune in both CoG and TLBOW, the Battle of the Burren in CoLS, most of TRSM.) their relationship got better. It was amazing to see them grow closer together while defeating their enemies. It's the best.

If Baz doesn't help his boyfriend at all out of pure spite, it just DOES NOT WORK.

And then the last scene with Baz and Simon was kinda thrown together. They were trying not be gay while being gay. And it's not even like they really had that much homophobia. It's hinted at Baz's dad wouldn't approve of him dating a boy, and he would have to marry a girl.

But it's not like how Alec believed he could never be himself because the Shadowhunters frowned on if. In GOTSM, we did see how Alec felt oppressed by his dad when he was younger. And in the TV show he almost married Lydia before Magnus crashed his wedding, so there was some obvious homophobia.

Also, the homophobia for the Shadowhunters was more likely because of the bag of dicks known as the Cohort. It was obvious. Carry On had one person who disapproved and technically Baz could move out so it didn't matter.

And then we have the mess that is Wayward Son. I have read 44 pages of it, then gave up. Why? Because there is no plot to speak of.

Wayward Son and the Red Scrolls of Magic have similar premises: The world has been saved, now the relationship must be developed.

But Wayward Son doesn't have a demon-worshipping cult (which could happen because of Blue Lucifer over there). It instead has Simon adjusting to being normal.

But unlike the mundane Magnus from Season 3B of the TV show, nothing happened. It was just a stupid vacation that had no development over forty pages. I would forgive it if it was longer, but it's 356 pages, about the length of The Red Scrolls of Magic.

TRSM had plot when you started. We had Magnus and Alec in Paris, introducing their relationship at this time, and there was a little conflict involving demons. This was in the first twenty pages.

In the next twenty pages, another plot in the book was established: Magnus and Alec trying to take the next step. Which leads a huge part of the book, and a hilarious subplot.

After Magnus and Alec are interrupted by Tessa (who was calmly sitting on a chair), the main plot is introduced. Also known as Magnus's demon-worshipping cult, the Crimson Hand. There was plot here, all the way from the inciting incident of the Iblis demons to Tessa telling Magnus his cult is causing problems.

Wayward Son has no plot. They just randomly go on this vacation, and no magic plot happens. It's just a vacation on a fantasy backdrop. Which is so boring.

You could argue that the plot is Simon adjusting to being normal, but I throw in the evidence that is Magnus in most of season 3B of Shadowhunters.

First, some background.

Back in season 3A, Magnus gave up his magic to Asmodeus to help Jace. (Mainly because he wanted Alec to feel better but that's a discussion for another time.) They left to Magnus being a mundane for most of season 3B until Alec tried to get Magnus his magic back. (Another plot, but let me focus on the mundane part of this plot which was in episodes 11-13, and 17)

Magnus, who has used magic for his entire life, doesn't feel right. But he still tries to live his normal life. Which ends up with him facing off against another warlock and getting kidnapped. Good job, Magnus. You really fucked up.

You can see the way Magnus tries to adjust to being the person he is now, just a mundane. He's trying to be the same person he was before, just without his magic.

Even with it being a TV show and we can't see what Magnus is thinking, it's clear Magnus is hurting. He turns to alcohol, and is so sad and lonely. Alec offers him unconditional love (he even was going to propose to him!) but it just isn't enough.

In the end, Magnus gets magic back, and loses Alec. However, because Maryse has a brain and knew her son screwed up, managed to have Magnus connect the dots, yeet Asmodeus into Limbo, and ends up proposing to Alec. I was a mess by the end of the whole situation.

I've seen none of this in Wayward Son. Simon may show it in a different way but it's just . . . Not effective. He mopes around and his relationship with Baz doesn't matter.

So that is the exact opposite of Malec, where Alec clung onto Magnus and loved him enough to try and get him to stay. Baz wasn't doing anything. In fact, they were going to break up.

You know what, Wayward Son sounds like if CoLS Malec went on a trip. But I guess the time away from Camille would do Alec good, and they'd come back stronger than a 90's trend. Whereas Simon and Baz are hanging on by a loose thread and ate going to crash and burn soon.

I could continue ranting, but this is the best I can do. I know this might be me bashing on your favorite book, it just makes no sense to me.

#carry on #me ranting #malec #the mortal instruments #at least this is better #simon snow #baz pitch #from the cursed queue #julie is still on a break

[queerbutstillhere]

Hi!!! I don't know if ur still taking prompts but if u do could you do one where Jon gets hit by a love portion and falls for someone who is NOT Damian and Damian is sooo jealous that at one point he confesses to Jon and kiss him which break the live potion effect because true lov3 and all. Also if you could include the batbros that would be great. Thanks in advance if you do XD XD

(Hi! So sorry this took so long 😅 I got busy with #batlanternweek and my Damijon fics on Ao3 and writing a gift for a friend! But! I finally got here! And now that I've written it, I really like this prompt so thank you!!)

Damian was cranky. Even more so then usual. To the point where even Dick had stopped trying to cheer him up. He was so pissed he broke a guys nose literally just for breathing at him. He had gone off on the Teen Titans, nearly killed Tim(yes, again. And they had been doing so well), helped Red Hood steal from a pharmacy(not in his Robin uniform, of course), and had been snubbing Maya and Colin all week.

Why was he so cranky?

Because his best friend, and long time crush, was pining over someone that wasn't him. And this was a problem™.

Now he would never, ever, in a million years confess to Jon. It was just out of the question. For the longest of time, the boy was just too young and Naive, and wouldn't understand, probably be weirded out. And then he went into space for a week, and came back three years older (fuck you Bendis) making him the same age as Damian, also taller then him. And worse, no longer a virgin, which had really upset him, because maybe he had been harboring the desire to deflower the half-kryptonian. But that was his secret to keep, as was the age in which he lost his own virginity, albeit a dumb thing to fret over.

Now you might be thinking, how on Earth has Jonathan Kent fallen for anyone but our handsome, striking, emotionally constipated detective protagonist. The answer was simple, dumb and entirely too aggravating.

They had been working with the Teen Titans, tracking down a new meta who was causing issues in Washington, the state, not the District. This Meta was calling themselves "Eros" like the Greek god of passionate desires. Which of course, led the team to believe their powers had something to do with people's emotions. Well that and the pile of police reports about that exact topic.

Damian hadn't been as concerned as he probably should have been. His team knew the risks and all trusted each other, and apologized in advance, should Eros get to any of them. They were a good group of supers, he begrudgingly admitted. Bringing Kent along probably wasn't the best idea, but with it being summer break and them spending the weekend together, he hadn't really had much of a choice.

He really didn't remember how it happened, just that one moment they had been battling the red and white clad meta, and the next he heard Jon yelling and saw him tackle Jackson.

The arrow sticking out of his back was not a good sign.

As it turned out, the arrow was a love potion, and it made Jon instantly fall for Jackson. Which the teen thought was hilarious. Jon on the other hand, spent the whole next week moping around and bemoaning his childish issues to Damian, who was very annoyed that the damn potion hadn't worn off yet.

"Damian, get off your ass, it's time to patrol," Tim said as he breezed past the futon Damian was sat on.

"He can't," Dick's voice carried across the cave. "He got grounded, remember?"

"Oh, shit. Right. Why?"

"Damian!" A whiny voice called, and Damian wanted to put a knife through his brain.

"That's why," he bit out, pushing to his feet.

He had approximately thirty seconds before Jon located him.

"What? I thought you and Superlad were bff's again," Tim asked, confused.

"We were, until he got hit by a love potion and has fallen head over heels for someone el- on the team."

His stumble wouldn't have been noticed by anyone but his brothers. Tim's eyebrow arched up as he buckled the belts that went across his chest.

"That's rough. Had that happen with Kon a few times. It really doesn't wear off Kryptonian's quite right. Good luck!"

Tim waved and walked away, quickly replaced by Jon, who meandered over, in Superboy uniform. This uniform was a significant improvement on his last one, and Damian would like to take credit for that, this one was actually a bodysuit, red boots that went nearly to his knees, red gloves, and his red cape. The body suit was mostly blue with some dark gray, and then the red and gold on the S emblem.

"Are we going patrolling?" Jon asked with a sad sigh.

"No," Damian bit out, feeling a ripple of anger.

He turned and stalked out, Jon literally floating after him. Damian went upstairs to the manor, heading to the kitchen, Jon never once leaving his side. He was so annoyed.

"Would you quit?!" He snapped, glaring at the Superboy.

"Oh. . . Okay. Geesh you're so cranky these days."

"Maybe, I'm just tired of you acting like a dumbass. Jackson is never going to love you back, Jon. He's not attracted to boys."

"I know," Jon said with a depressed sigh. "But I can't help it. His eyes, and his skin, and-"

"Fuck you!" Damian snapped and spun on his heel, walking out of the kitchen.

He practically ran up to his room, hoping, in vain, that Jon would just leave him alone and go home. Unfortunately, Jon apparently still remembered his duties as best friend. A few seconds later. There was a knock at the door.

"Damian. It's me, can I please come in?"

"No!"

"Damian."

The door opened anyway. Damian crossed his arms, turning to glare at it.

"Fuck. You."

"i don't understand," Jon said, distraught.

"For a week! I have watched you pining over Aqualad. For a week! You feel nothing for him, not truly, you never so much bat an eyelash at him before!"

This was truly a bad idea, but Damian was so frustrated and tired. And gay.

A Tired, emotionally frustrated gay is never a good thing to have on hand. (Trust me on this one. I am one and live with one)

"You've been chasing after him like he is a god, and yet I've been here this whole time and you never even looked at me. Fuck you, Kent! You know how hard relationships are for me!"

"Wait, what?" Jon asked, freezing and looking confused.

"You're an asshole."

"Damian, wait-"

Damian turned to barge past Jon, who caught him easily, grabbing his shoulders firmly.

"Damian, are you- do you like me?"

"For two years now," Damian bit out.

He had already let the cat out of the bag, might as well give it attention.

"oh my God, Damian, I never-"

Damian didn't think or stop himself. He surged forwards, grabbing Jon's slightly less chubby face and yanking him into a rough kiss, teeth clicking painfully, but Damian didn't stop, just kissed him hard. Jon was stiff for a moment, and then suddenly relaxed considerably. he wrapped an arm around Damian's waist and pulled him close.

Damian whimpered into Jon's lips as the Kryptonian sucked in his bottom lip, gently kissing him. Damian's hand snuck up, tangling into Jon's black hair, and the other teens hand was on his hip, fingers pressing into his flesh. Then Damian realized what he was doing and jerked away, pulling out of Jon's hold and stumbling backwards, across the room. He stared at Jon with wide eyes, hand coming up to his mouth.

"Jon, I'm so sorr-"

"Shut up." Jon started walking closer.

He looked confused, but not angry. He followed Damian across the room and reached out for him, but Damian jolted back again.

"Damian, come here," he said gently, holding out a hand.

Damian shook his head. His heard was pounding, and he felt like he was about to have a panic attack or something.

"Damian. Come. Here."

The words were an order, and it sent a bolt of fear through Damian. He swallowed and stepped forwards, into Jon's reach. The teen gently cupped Damian's face, a thumb stroking his cheekbone.

"Damian. I am so sorry," he murmured. "I'm sorry I've been acting like an idiot all week. You're right, I don't really feel anything for Jackson. He's a good guy, but no one holds a candle for you."

Damian inhaled to speak, but Jon stopped him, continuing talking.

"When I was gone, for three years, the one thing that kept me going, that made me keep fighting, was the thought of you, of coming back to you. For three years."

Damian wanted to sob, hearing those words, but he just closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Damian. I'm sorry. Really. You- . . . You mean so much to me."

Damian opened his eyes and nodded slightly, meeting Jon's eyes. The teen smiled.

"Can I kiss you again?"

Another nod and Jon leaned in, gently pressing their lips together. Damian relaxed into him, hands coming up to his arms. Jon was already forgiven. Damian couldn't stay mad at his soulmate, not for long, anyway.

#ask me #send me asks #ask me stuff #writing prompt #prompt ask #give me prompts and shiz #story prompt #damian wayne #damianxjon #robin son of batman #superboy #jonathan samuel kent #jon kent #damijon #tim drake #dick grayson

[msjr0119]

Forgive me

Part 12

Series includes suicide and abuse.

Based on true events but using TRR characters who are owned by Pixelberry.

Warnings: Swearing, abuse/rape.

@annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @drakesensworld @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @pedudley @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @yukinagato2012 @dcbbw @qammh-blog @nz1091 @beardedoafdonutwagon @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @lauradowning29

I’ve just buried the kids guinea pig- if there any spelling mistakes etc please forgive me it’s been a traumatic day 👎🏻

******

“Liam I’m not going anywhere. I did this for you and Lucas.” Trying to hold him, he brushed her off him abruptly. Tears forming in her eyes she regretted trying to keep the two people she loved the most protected and safe.

“Riley I mean it. I will escort you back to New York in the morning. I suggest that you sleep in Leo’s room or the room next to Drake’s. I have business to attend to. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Fine. YOUR MAJESTY.”

Throughout the day after their argument, he was thinking about reconsidering what he had suggested. She had killed Justin, for them. Taking a risk that he probably wouldn’t dare do himself.

After his meetings for the day; including a press statement regarding his father’s death- Liam ambled into his quarters. Loosening his tie, he slumped onto his bed. Regretting how he had spoken to Riley, he needed to make amends. In his mind, he didn’t want her to return to New York- he just wanted her to be safe until all the events that had happened in the last twenty fours had blown over. Getting his shit together, he had rehearsed the apology in his head what he was going to give her. Walking to Leo’s old room, the door was slightly open ajar- knowing she wasn’t there, he headed to the room next to Drake’s. Knocking on the door, there was no response.

“Riley. Please talk to me. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say what I did- I just wanted you both to be safe. I don’t know if Justin acted alone- I want you to stay here, with me. We can be a family- I’ll protect you with all my heart. I know what you did was for us and Lucas....” After pouring his heart out, there was still silence.

“Remind me to never annoy you- you New Yorkers can be as scary as Olivia.” He joked, hoping she would respond. “Please talk to me. I want to make sure that you are okay. It broke my heart seeing you hurt. I know that Drake was protecting you- I will apologise to him too.”

“Li? What are you doing?” Drake returned to his room, seeing the king sat on the floor in the hallway crying. Sitting next to his best friend, he pulled out his hip flask- knowing that Liam would need it after what he was about to explain to him.

“She won’t talk to me.”

“Liam- she won’t talk to you because she’s not here. You told her to go back to New York. She got on a flight with Ella around an hour ago. Bastien took them to the airport. I’m sorry Li- she insisted that it was too hard to say goodbye but she told me to tell you that she will always love you.”

“Drake, I’ve fucked up. I’ve lost her haven’t I? What if Justin didn’t act alone? I was thinking about that- about her safety, Lucas’s safety.”

“No you haven’t lost her. Just give her time. Besides I don’t intend on paying Maxwell his money back. We will get your Queen back soon, if there are more people involved Bastien and the guards will find out. I believe that Riley saved the royal family- it was Justin who was the ringleader- without him I doubt anyone will cause any more harm.”

******

Waking up the following morning after their argument, realisation hit -the reality that she had runaway- broke his heart even more.

Riley, Ella and Lucas arrived back in New York- Riley remained silent throughout the flight. Feeling guilty that she had torn Ella away from Drake, as well as regret for her poor decisions.

“Riley? Where are you staying? You’re always welcome at mine. Or Rob said you can go to his. I know you don’t want to listen to me, but Liam will apologise - he has had a lot to think about, he’s going to be stressed. Just give it time.”

“I’m going to Robs. Thanks though. I need to go to the doctors.”

“Why? You are going to be jet lagged. Just go to Robs, and catch up on sleep. He’s offered to look after Lucas.”

“Well now I’m back here, I need to rebuild my life. I need to go to the doctors to re -register us, I need to go to an estate agents to buy or rent an apartment, I need to find a job. I can’t just mope about El. I need to provide for Lucas.” Ella knew Riley would ignore her advise anyway- she was the most stubborn person she had met.

“Okay, if you need anything let me know.”

******

Riley explained everything that had happened to Rob- he was like an echo, repeating everything his sister had previously said to her. Give Liam time. Arriving at the doctors- she never informed them that she intended of leaving the country. Demanding to see someone urgently- she had hoped they would squeeze her in.

“Miss Brooks?” Riley stood up, feeling ashamed with herself- if anyone asked why she was there she intended on just saying that it was a regular check up.

“What can I do for you?”

“I ... I need the morning after pill. I... someone raped me yesterday.”

“I see. Is that the reasoning behind the bruise under your eye?”

“Yes. I also have other injuries. But I am fine.” Showing the Doctor the darker bruises that were forming on her arms surrounding nail marks, as well as her eye- he was shocked. Wondering why she showed no emotion regarding the abuse she had received. Thinking back to the event that led up to her killing her abuser.

“Don’t you dare touch me!”

“Why are you so timid? You slept with a gay man. I will give you everything.”

“The difference between you and Leo is that I loved him in so many ways. I despise you Justin.” Swinging his fist back, he aimed for her - a way he believed would shut her up.

“Shhh...” He wiped away her tears, before covering her mouth. “Just be a good girl, and no one will get hurt...”

Pushing her to the ground, she felt defeated- not able to move. Feeling numb. Fighting against him, was neither use nor ornament. He had her trapped. Ripping the zip on her jeans, he forced them down along with her pants, whilst sitting on her chest. Turning back to face her, he gently wiped the tears away from her cheeks.

Pulling her up, once he had done with her- he held her arms tight by her side.

“There’s a good girl. Pull your jeans up now.” Riley did as he commanded her to, feeling ashamed of herself. She watched him pull pieces of the hedge out of her hair. Smirking at her, she was thankful that he hadn’t noticed her back up weapon. Kissing her neck, she knew she had to end him.

“Here, there’s some water and the pill. Do you want me to refer for you some counselling? You have been through a traumatic situation. Have you reported the crime to the police?” Riley didn’t condone rape, but she had committed a crime that was far worse.

“No, I was on vacation. I won’t see him again- I don’t need counselling, thank you. I have lots of friends - they will support me.” Lying she intended on keeping this a secret- feeling annoyed with herself for allowing him to do it.

“Okay. Look after yourself Miss Brooks. If you need anything, please come and see me.”

******

It had now been sixth months since Riley had left Cordonia. In those six months, Liam and Riley had talked on a daily basis- but more recently Riley became more distant. The tone of her voice, wasn’t as enthusiastic anymore.

“Good morning. Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Riley. Please talk to me. I care about you both. I want to see you both- please don’t shut me out.”

“Fine.”

“When can I come and see you? I miss you both.”

“Whenever Liam.”

“I’m sorry. I will keep saying it until I’m blue in the face. I love you.”

Every time Liam said he loved her- she hung up. Riley found it more difficult to talk to him as the months went by- needing to tell him what had happened that fatal day she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Dragging herself back to the doctors, he had suggested that she was depressed- and referred her to counselling which she attended once a week. Ashamed to tell her friends, she just said that she was volunteering at the hospital. Bastien and the guards had found the other people that were involved with Justin’s vendetta- these people were the people who’s identities were hidden on the CCTV footage. Liam desperately wanted to inform Riley about the news- knowing his suspicions were correct. However, these people didn’t act upon bringing the royal family down like Justin had intended. Now they weren’t in any danger, he had hoped that she would forgive him and return to Cordonia.

******

Riley took her time getting ready for the night, Beth had organised a double date to get Riley out of the foul mood she had been in for the last few months. Deep down, she was still in love with Liam- but she wouldn’t admit it to anyone. Not even Ella, who was constantly travelling to and from Cordonia. Ella had offered to look after Lucas- every time she mentioned Liam to Riley at every opportunity given she just ignored it. Hearing a knock at the door, she was confused as she believed she was meeting Beth at the restaurant.

“Drake?”

“Riley, you look beautiful. Am I disturbing you?”

“Erm... no. Come in. But I am going out soon. What are you doing here?”

“Well my girlfriend lives here doesn’t she... thought I’d come and check in on you. You’ve gone mute on us the last couple of weeks.”

“I’ve been busy rebuilding my life here. I need to provide for Lucas. Whiskey?” Drake nodded, he wanted to inform her how Liam was- he regretted forcing her to leave Cordonia for her own safety.

“Liam’s here. They all are. He misses you. He’s been so miserable. Deep down he knows what you did was for you all. You shouldn’t have left- he was going to insist that you stay.”

“I’m sure Liam will be fine. Drake I need to go- I’m late as it is.”

“Who’s the lucky fella then?”

“Excuse me?”

“Ella told me you’re going on a double date with Beth.”

“I... I am. Doesn’t mean that I want to though. I just need to let my hair down every so often.”

“What about Liam? He wanted to... never mind.”

“Drake, I’ll catch up with all tomorrow. It’s been good to see you.” Drake stood up, not wanting to let her go on the date. Pulling her into his embrace, they stood frozen. Drake lent down- and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

“Agree with me that, this kiss meant nothing. Tell me that you miss Liam’s kisses. If you go on a date, and they kiss you it would feel like it felt when you kissed me then. No one could compare to Liam.”

“I don’t feel anything anymore anyway Drake. I’m not interested in relationships, Beth is forcing me out. I’d be happy just spending time with my son.” Drake knew what heartbreak was, but she wasn’t the same person they had met. It was as if she had some personality transplant. She was vacant- lacking emotions.

“Don’t go on the date then. Even better- go and see Liam. He knows he fucked up, he wanted you here to be safe.”

“I would have been safe! I killed the man who was the issue Drake.”

“I know, I know... but he thought that there could have potentially been more people involved, which there were- hence why he wanted you to return here. He isn’t a bad guy Riley, he was putting you first before his own feelings. I believe Justin did something to you too but I’m not going to express my suspicions. Fuck Beth. I know she’s trying to help you come out of this shell- but I know deep down you are in love with Liam. As he is with you. Just give him chance to explain. You probably won’t believe me, but whenever he spoke to you his eyes lit up. Then he went morbid again.... he loves you Riley. These six months have been hell for him, as I’m sure it has for you too. At his Coronation ball he wasn’t celebrating- he wanted you by his side.”

“His majesty King Liam of Cordonia.” Liam forced his way through the crowd- not really wanting to celebrate. Keeping conversations brief with all the nobles- he had expected to have his Coronation with Riley by his side.

“Li, congratulations. Are you okay?”

“I miss her Drake. I miss Lucas. I can’t do this without them in my life. I never thought I’d fall in love. The sooner this is over the better.”

“I’ll take you to New York, once things have got settled here. Ella explained that she’s doing okay- she’s quiet. But she’s okay.”

“She won’t have a full conversation with me- she just responds with one worded sentences. How am I going to make it up to her? Prove to her how much she means to me- if she won’t talk to me?”

“Simple. Just speak from the heart. Use that Rhys charm. You are the King now. If she really is the one you love- you know what to do.”

“He will make a fantastic king, but Drake I have to go...” Drake stood up, knowing she was being stubborn. Leaning down he kissed her on the cheek before saying bye. As she locked the door, she decided to shout to him. “By the way your suspicions are possibly correct. I’ll see you all tomorrow, I promise.” Drake gulped, wondering why she couldn’t tell anyone. Had she told anyone?

*****

Riley arrived at the restaurant, fashionably late. Beth thought she could now breathe after making excuses up for the last hour or so.

“What time do you call this?” Beth gave her a bit of lipstick that matched her dress. Riley really didn’t give two fucks- another Prince Charming could walk through the door but he wouldn’t be Liam or Leo for that matter.

“Beth I didn’t want to come in the first place. I am quite content staying single.”

“No, you are hoping that Liam will sweep you off your feet. If he loved you he wouldn’t have forced you out of his country.”

“Beth you don’t know him! Or me for that matter. Can we please just get this over and done with.”

Riley sat across from Beth, never even making eye contact with the man who she was supposed to be on a date with. Beth did the introductions, before they ordered a bottle of wine to share. Throughout the meal, Riley was ignorant- mainly due to the fact that didn’t want to be there but also because her date Callum just spoke highly about himself- never once asking about her. At the end of the meal, Callum kissed her on the cheek and said he would contact her regarding a second date- believing that she was just quiet because she was nervous.

*****

Drake arrived at Ella’s apartment, still in shock with the hint of what happened to Riley.

“How was she?”

“Quiet and feeling pressured to go with Beth. Justin raped her before she killed him.”

“He did what?” Liam walked out of the spare room, Drake didn’t know he was there. Fuck he muttered to himself.

“What are you doing here?”

“Ella invited me, knowing I’d missed Lucas.”

“I should have warned you that I’d invited him over but you was longer than expected- it slipped my mind.” Ella handed Drake and Liam a drink, they were all shocked.

“Did you know Ella?” Liam asked, hoping that Riley hadn’t gone through it on her own. If Riley hadn’t have killed him, Liam was sure he would have done it. Feeling like he couldn’t breathe, he wasn’t there for her when she needed him.

“No, liam. She has been quiet with us all. Daniel and Lola noticed she wasn’t herself either. We all just assumed it was because of you.”

“Why couldn’t she tell me? I’d have supported her.” Placing his head in his hands, he wished he could turn back time- protect her from all of this.

“Maybe because you insisted that she returned here?” Drake said in a sharp tone of voice. Liam feeling guilty already didn’t know what to do- if he contacted her regarding what Justin did, Drake could potentially be her next victim. But somehow he needed to let her know that he knew to show he still cared for her.

“I’m just going to... I’m going to check on Lucas.” Ella and Drake nodded, both not knowing what to say.

Walking into the room, he picked Lucas up out of the travel cot. Holding him, he needed to control the tears that were falling onto the young princes head. What are we going to do with your mommy Lucas? She’s so strong, she’s incredible, she’s brave. I love you buddy, I love your mommy too. I’m not letting either of you go again.

*****

Riley made her way over to Ella’s apartment, she just wanted to be with Lucas. She had arranged for Ella to have him overnight, but her plans had changed. Letting herself into the apartment with the spare key- she made Ella and Drake jump.

“I could kill Beth. I am not doing this again.” Throwing her bag on the floor, she was grateful that she didn’t walk in on something happening between the two love birds. “Drake? What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same.” Liam had gone in the shower after Lucas was sick down him- prior to Riley showing up unexpectedly. The two of them smirked at each other- it was fate that Riley had showed up.

“I’ve come to collect my son.”

“It’s fine Riley, I assume you’ve been drinking- we will look after him.”

“I’ve only had three glasses of wine El, I’m capable of looking after him. I’ll come back tomorrow for the travel cot. Enjoy your night together.” Riley touched the door handle on the door leading to the spare room.

“Don’t go in there!” Drake and Ella said in unison- maybe they should have warned her about who was in the room.

“Why? Is Lucas okay?”

“Yes, he was sick just before but he’s asleep now, Ri.....” Riley shook her head- feeling like the worse mom because she wasn’t there for her son when he is poorly. Ignoring her friends, she barged her way through the door.

*****

“Liam?” Liam turned around, wearing nothing but sweat pants. His eyes widened, jaw became agape- she looked beautiful he thought.

“Ri.” Avoiding his gaze, she knew she had to remove herself from the room as soon as possible.

“I... We should go...” Sneaking past him she bent down to collect all of Lucas’s belongings.

“Leave him here, he’s asleep.”

“He’s my son Liam. I will do what I want with him.”

“I think you and I need to talk.”

“I told Drake before that I would see you all tomorrow. I’m tired. I just want to take my son home.” Touching her, she flinched. Not knowing why her body would react like that- it’s Liam, he wouldn’t hurt me she thought.

“I know what Justin did to you. I’m here for you. I love you, I’ve missed you. We can work through this.” Before she could respond, she stormed out of the room.

“Drake how could you?”

“I overheard him Riley. It wasn’t his fault. He was going to keep it a secret for you.”

“Who else knows Drake? Have you told Maxwell and the others too? Or how about advertise it around Times Square?”

“Ella asked how you was, I didn’t even know Liam was here. I swear.” Looking between the three of them, deep down she knew Drake wouldn’t maliciously spread her secret.

“I need some air. Excuse me.”

Shit, Liam muttered- following her out of the door forgetting he wasn’t wearing a top or shoes, he didn’t care. Seeing her sat on the curb outside the apartment block she looked defeated- a different person, not the Riley he fell in love with. Hearing footsteps behind her, she knew who it was without even looking.

“Go back inside Liam, you’re going to catch pneumonia.”

“Likewise.” Turning around to look at him, she shook her head- she had got away with murder once. She didn’t believe that she would also get away with allowing the King to suffer with pneumonia.

“I’m not the one stood in the rain wearing no top or shoes.” Feeling the rain run down his chest, he was freezing- shivering. But at this moment in time, Riley was his priority. He could handle a little bit of a cold, sitting next to her he was hoping that she wouldn’t mind.

“Well I decided to take the risk of catching pneumonia.. I fucked up Riley, I didn’t want you to leave- I wanted you to be safe.”

“I know Drake said...” She interrupted him- whispering, before pulling her knees up to her chest.

“Let me finish please....” Riley nodded, not making eye contact with him. “These six months must have been hell for you- I knew you were distant on the phone. I believed it was due to my decision about your safety. I just wished you’d have told me- I’d have cancelled all my meetings and come straight over. I wanted to come, but Drake convinced me that you needed time alone. You were always on my mind, from the minute I woke up- until the moment my eyes closed at night. I am so sorry, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

“You’re forgiven Liam, I don’t hate you. So you don’t have to apologise. But I am sorry. I caused all of this. So I don’t need any sympathy regarding what happened that day.”

“You was thinking about me and Lucas- I understand that now. At the time I was grieving, I was angry, I was frustrated that I didn’t get the chance to prepare for my Coronation. You and Lucas are my priority, and always will be.”

“You should really go inside, the rains getting worse. You don’t want to end up in hospital- the food can be atrocious at times.”

“I’ll only go inside if you follow me.” Liam stood up, holding his hand out for her- the first eye contact she had made with him. Baby blues fixated on each other. Taking his hand he pulled her up, before holding her tightly. I love you he whispered in her ear, hoping she’d give some indication that she still loved him. Wrapping her arms around his waist- her grip became tighter. Feeling safe again in his arms, she didn’t want to let him go. Lifting her chin up, he looked down on her- leaning in closer. Something he had wanted to do for so long- he had missed her. The rain ran down their faces as their lips reunited, each feeling the cold raindrops. Liam removed his lips, admiring her before pushing his lips onto hers leading into a more passionate kiss. The feeling was intoxicating as it was all those months ago. Moving her damp hair to the side, he buried his head onto her shoulder before kissing her there. The drizzling rain falling effortlessly from their faces down their bodies. Breaking the kiss, he tucked her damp hair behind her ear.

“As much as I enjoyed that kiss, I believe my toes are about to drop off any moment. I’m freezing Riley. Please stop being so stubborn.” Laughing at him trying to keep a straight face, she had missed him- he smiled at her laugh, before kissing her on the forehead.

“I’ve missed you so much. I am never letting you go again. Please can we go and get dry... I wanted to ask if you’d come back to my hotel room with me? I’ve got something to give you....if you’ll accept it...”

#theroyalromance #choices trr #drakewalker #riley brooks #liam rhys #trr forgive me ella #trr forgive me lucas rhys #trr forgive me

[raisinghellonstarbug]

Ok so update on my thoughts of watching The Umbrella Academy so far...

(SPOILERS MIGHT BE AHEAD - WARNING JUST IN CASE)

I've pretty much managed to watch season 1 and a few eps of season 2 so far in the space of a few days. I'm really enjoying it and I'm on the edge of my seat majority of the time! At first I wasn't as the first two episodes of s1 were a bit slow, but when we got to know Five a lot more, I was happy to know him. I also liked Allison trying her best to be a better sister to Vanya.

When I found out that Vanya had a power (although I hadn't read the comics, it seemed kinda obvious it was steering towards the truth), I was astounded by the great level of her power. Like holy hell she can destroy the whole world! There's her siblings who can manipulate objects, manipulate people, are super strong and part-ape, can speak and conjure up the dead, and has tentacles attached to his body (but also lives through Klaus)... And then you got Vanya, who can manipulate sound??! Five to me has a power just as great as Vanya's so I believe he's just as powerful..

She actually scared me a little in the finale and I just found it amazing that the one person who thought she didn't possess any powers and was only ordinary, made to believe for years by their psycho father that she was nothing special, turns out to be the most special of all with the most powerful abilities. Crazy, huh?

Now. I like all the characters pretty much, except I didn't like Cha-Cha and I'm glad she's gone. I wasn't a big fan of Diego first but I've grown to like him more now that he's softened up a bit... But the one thing I can't quite get my head around is Luther and Allison?? Like, they love each other right... But not just as siblings, but like actual lovers and I don't know how I feel about that because even though they're of course adopted and aren't biologically related, it still feels strange to me.

But mostly, I just don't like Luther's moping around feeling sorry for himself. It's annoying now tbh. I don't like him at the moment which is a shame because I did at first... Anyway, I hope he stops being obsessed with Allison soon or they start a relationship and then the newness of it will die down because it's kinda boring and I'm not interested in that part of the story.

However, Sissy and Vanya?? That's more interesting! I like Sissy and it's nice to watch a TV series where gay relationships are formed and it's not taboo or made to seem weird. It's just there and it's nice. I was gutted for Klaus though with Dave. I would love to see Dave more in the show. I have only seen 3 eps though of season 2 and I'm deliberately making sure I don't know anything yet of what's to come, maybe Dave appears again? I hope so.

Also - I like Lila and even though she's working for the Commission, her story is really sad and I hope she breaks away from them bastards because they basically ruined her life. Why did her parents have to die?? She's been through hell and I love her character.

So. That's me up to speed really. I'm well confused about the whole secret twelve peeps but we'll see what happens! It's constantly intriguing. Oh, and those Swedes are dicks.

My list of the characters in order from my favourite to least favourite at the moment:

1. Five (he's just brilliant in every way and does not give a shit and hats off to a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD Aidan for playing him so wonderfully, it's impressive as hell and I hope he makes it big when he's older)

2. Klaus (what can I say? He makes me laugh - just like Robert did as Nathan in Misfits. If anyone knows that show knows how great it is that he plays an immortal moron who ALSO can speak to the dead!! Hahaha and now speaks to the dead in this show! Shame he's not immortal though. It's just funny how similar Klaus and Nathan are)

3. Vanya (she reminds me of me in some ways - and I can relate to her indifference in the first season)

4. Ben (he's funny like Klaus - but he also has that whole "i told you so" attitude which i love)

5. Diego (that hero complex is annoying as hell but when he's being a softie he's great - his sarcasm is also great)

6. Allison (she's pretty fiesty and I like that, but she could be more interesting)

7. Luther (he's a cute brawn isn't he? But also like I said a moping one, so I hope that changes)

So that's it so far. I don't expect everyone to agree with me just fyi. Might update again when I finish the season! A great show so far and it's getting better as it goes along...

P.s I hope Pogo will be ok - I miss him!

And props to the show for adding in the history of the Civil Rights Movement and how painful a road it has been for the black community to even get some form of humanity in their lives, even if it's still not as it should be yet. It's also not the main focus too which is good because otherwise the show could become too politically correct.

#The Umbrella Academy #ua spoilers #five hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #allison chestnut #ben hargreeves #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #vanya deserved better #pogo hargreeves #lila pitts #Sissy ua #Dave ua

[phxlip-shea]

love at first switch

When Lucas turned 21, he woke up in a body that wasn’t his. 

AO3 LINK

When Lucas woke up, he was in a totally different room.

Before he went to sleep last night, he knew how the outcome of the morning would go: he either woke up on his soulmate's body or he didn't at all. It was a fifty-fifty chance.

You see, when the youngest soulmate of the pair reaches the age of 21, they switch bodies and the traditional journey to find the other one begins. If the pair doesn't find each other after a week, they switch back and arrange a meeting. However, the switching can be cut short if the two share a kiss when they reunite.

Lucas didn't know if he was the youngest or the oldest until today. 

He was terrified the night before. Mika teased him to no end, telling him what if you wake up in a girl's body? and Lucas only gave him his deadliest glare. After all, soulmates could be platonic or romantic.

But Lucas really wanted his soulmate to be romantic. He cherished someone who could understand him no matter what, whose love wouldn't end anytime soon. 

He just wanted to love and to be loved back.

When the lights went off at the shared apartment and Lucas was lying on his bed, he truly wished to wake up tomorrow on his soulmate's body. Lucas was going to feel disappointed if he found out the next morning he was still on his own body because that would mean two things: he was the oldest or he didn't have a soulmate.

The thought of not having a soulmate brought him some feelings he couldn't take. 

Lucas would look at Lisa, who didn't have a soulmate, and wonder how can she keep going. 

Every time he thinks about it, it sends shivers down his spine.

He went to sleep nevertheless.

And he opened his eyes to a room that wasn't his.

The first thing he noticed were the drawings glued to the wall, scattered and different from each other. The most repeated drawing was a… Was that a badger? 

Lucas frowned.

He looked around the room, a bit messy and with art supplies spread over a working table. 

So his soulmate was an artist. Lovely.

Lucas sat up on the bed, the duvet falling and revealing a toned chest. Lucas blushed and quickly looked away.

Well… at least he's a boy, he thought while scanning the room for a shirt.

He felt groggy, light headed even, and Lucas pondered if maybe his soulmate drank the day before.

Lucas got up, stumbling a little with the new height and tried to walk to the nearest mirror to find out who was his soulmate. He first put on a shirt because yeah, if he was going to look at "himself" in the mirror, he didn't need his eyes to wander lower. He found a bathroom right next to the bedroom, a door in front of it which he assumed was a bedroom and another one at the end of the hall.

He gathered some conclusions.

His soulmate really loved badgers, he had two roommates just like him, he was an artist and his hands and his chest were… Lucas was gay before, but this pretty much confirmed how gay he was.

Lucas entered the bathroom and when he looked at the face showing in the mirror, he wanted to scream.

(...)

When Eliott woke up, he was confused.

He felt… odd. His bedroom smelled in a way he didn't remember. 

What the hell is happening? Was I kidnapped? I knew I shouldn't have accepted those weird shots from Idriss.

His mind went through infinity cases of where he could possible be but he was interrupted when a man came in with a woman who was wearing a bored expression. 

"Happy birthday, kitten!" The man cheered with a big smile.

Huh?

Eliott frowned at him and moved away, his eyes staring at the two individuals.

"Oh my God! Don't tell me I'm speaking to Lucas' soulmate!" Said man exclaimed with a happy tone.

Soulmate.

Eliott was astonished for a moment. He thought he—. He did have a soulmate. He switched bodies with his soulmate! Eliott wanted to cry and shout at the top of the roof and tell the whole world he had a soulmate. 

He remembered on his 21st birthday he went to sleep with anticipation, excitement fueling his body knowing the next day he would meet his soulmate. 

But it didn't happen.

Eliott woke up on his bed with a terrible disappointment. Sofiane assured him that the day would eventually come, that he was probably the oldest of the pair. Eliott hoped that his friend was right, but he was scared that maybe, he didn't have a soulmate after all. A kind of punishment for all the wrongs he has done. 

And now, now the day came. He woke up on his soulmate's body.

He looked at the man, expecting his answer.

"Okay then, I won't tell you." Eliott smiled when he heard his soulmate's voice. 

The man let out an exaggerated gasp and nudged at the woman beside him.

"He's just as annoying as Lucas is! This is wonderful!" 

The woman just rolled her eyes as response.

Eliott chuckled at the man's behaviour, enjoying how excited he was to meet him.

"Oh well! Where are my manners?" He scolded himself. "I'm Mika and this lady is Lisa, we're your soulmate's roommates. What's your name? How old are you? What do you do for a living?" 

Eliott raised his eyebrows, flabbergasted by his questions.

"My name is Eliott, I'm 23 and I, huh, I'm an artist?" The last part was complicated, he was an artist but he was currently working at a coffee shop while he was searching for another job related to his art degree.

Mika beamed at him and clapped his hands.

"By your french, I'm assuming you live here in France. Where do you live? Do you want to meet Lucas?"

Lucas. His soulmate's name was beautiful.

"I live in Paris, in an apartment with two of my friends," he replied, observing the room with new eyes. There was a piano on the corner and a desk next to it where papers were scattered everywhere with pens and sticky notes. Eliott's smile got bigger. "I want to meet him."

Mika and Lisa exchanged smiles and dragged him out of the bed.

"Fortunately, we live in Paris too, so it's not going to be too hard to find him!" Mika informed him, directing him to the bathroom.

Eliott grinned, wishing he could meet Lucas soon. He was so excited by all of this happening, he was left speechless when he saw the boy gazing back at him in the mirror.

Lucas was… so beautiful. 

From his ocean blue eyes sparkling with happiness to his lips, full and pink. He had terrible morning hair but even then, with Lucas just seemed to work out on his favor. Eliott noticed the mole peeking from the shirt he was wearing and he swore, right in that moment, he fell in love with Lucas. 

Right. They didn't even know each other properly yet, but Eliott was sure that everything was going to be okay. He just knew.

Eliott turned to see Mika, who was smiling fondly at him.

"I want to meet him."

(...)

"Eliott! Eli!" Someone chanted from the other side. "What's taking you so long, man? I want to use the bathroom!" 

Lucas was nervous.

This man couldn't be his soulmate. This handsome man carved by the gods themselves. 

Is this a blessing or a curse?

Oh, Lucas was truly panicking in his soulmate's bathroom. 

"Eliott!"

And even his name was gorgeous.

Lucas groaned loudly.

He had to face Eliott's roommates sooner or later, preferably later, but he was sure that one of them would open the door with a key any time soon. Lucas sighed. He could do this.

The boy opened the door slowly, afraid to meet the unknown man that was staring at him impatiently.

"Eliott, for the love of God! What took you so long?" A handsome, dark skinned man complained. Lucas opened and closed his mouth, the panic rising with every second.

"I-I'm… I'm not Eliott…" Lucas stuttered.

"What do you mean you're not— holy shit!" The man raved with a happy laugh. "Sofiane, come here! You are not going to believe this!" 

After a few seconds, Lucas heard rushed footsteps. Another man with slight curly hair appeared from the door at the end of the hallway, confused and sleepy.

"It's ten in the morning on a Saturday. What's so important?" Sofiane asked with furrowed brows.

"It's Eliott's soulmate." 

Sofiane froze and looked at him with disbelief.

"Are you for real? Oh my God! You have no idea how that boy has been moping around because he thought he didn't have a soulmate." Sofiane confessed and the other man smacked him in the arm with a warning look. "But now you are here! I knew it!"

Sofiane hugged him out of nowhere and Lucas stilled in his place, not knowing what the hell to do.

"Sofiane, you're scaring him." The man pushed him away gently, then he smiled at Lucas. "I'm Idriss, Eliott's best friend."

"I'm his best friend too!" Sofiane retorted.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Sof."

Lucas snorted with their interaction but he quickly regained his posture when both of them looked at him.

"What's your name?" Sofiane questioned, a kind smile forming on his lips.

"Lucas. I'm Lucas." 

The two exchanged looks. Idriss dropped an arm around him, guiding him out of the bathroom.

"I could tell you a lot of embarrassing stories about Eliott, but I want to do it when the man himself is present." Idriss commented, a mischief glint on his eyes.

"Do you live close? I assume you're french, by the way you speak." Sofiane added, raising an eyebrow.

"If you mean that I live in Paris too, then yes. I live with two other people." Lucas answered, looking around the apartment.

It was big enough for three young adults. In the same living room, there was a dining table and it was connected to the kitchen. Then you got the hall which directed to the bedrooms and the only bathroom. Lucas bet it was hell in the mornings to fight for the bathroom. But what called his attention was a painting in the living room, the light from the window giving it a sort of magical environment.

"Ah, that painting was made by Eliott," Idriss elaborated when he noticed the way Lucas' eyes were drawn to it. "He painted it two weeks after his 21st birthday. He tried to explain it to us, but yeah, this stuff is not really my thing."

"I think he called it Polaris or something like that, but he's referring to his soulmate." Sofiane continued, observing carefully Lucas' reaction.

Lucas was awestruck.

Eliott truly was a talented artist. The painting showed two individuals, one a man and the other… just someone, holding each other like their lives depended on it. He noticed that the other one was like a flame, the red and the oranges contrasting with the man who was white pearl. The background went from a purple shade to a blue, ocean blue. Everything was mixed so well, Lucas felt tears threatening to spill. 

Eliott was a lover and Lucas wished to be worthy of his love.

"It's… beautiful." Lucas croaked out. "I don't think that word makes it justice, though." 

Idriss smiled warmly, "I know, Lucas. I know the feeling." 

More seconds passed between them, Lucas trying to recover from the storm of emotions a single painting caused him. 

"Okay," Sofiane interrupted the moment. "We have to find Eliott so you two can meet."

Wait, what.

"This soon?" Lucas went full panic mode, again.

"Uh, yeah? Unless you want to do that traditional shit." Idriss told him, unsure.

"Hey! I did it with Imane." Sofiane objected with an offended tone.

"Wait! You are Imane's soulmate?" The blue eyed boy inquired, surprised.

"Yes." The curly man said proud. "Do you know her?"

"Dude, we've been friends since high school." 

"She has never mentioned you before."

"Same goes for you," Lucas stated, then he looked at Idriss. "Although, I think I remember an older brother." 

Idriss cheered loudly while Sofiane saw him with a disbelief stare.

"You know, I like you already. We're going to keep you." The dark skinned man beamed at him.

"I'm not a pet."

"Well…"

In that moment, someone's phone rang and startled the three of them. It was Sofiane's. The curly man took it out from one of the pockets of his sweatpants and frowned when he read the unknown number.

"Do you recognize this number?" Sofiane asked, showing him the screen.

Lucas took a look and smiled.

"It's Mika's number, one of my roommates."

"What are you waiting for? Answer him! It's probably Eliott." 

"Okay! Okay, okay…" Sofiane mumbled and brought the phone to his ear. "Hello? Sofiane here."

"I know it's you, you dumbass." Eliott replied on the other end.

"No need to be rude when your soulmate is present."

"He's still there? Can I talk to him so we can meet?" 

Sofiane gave Lucas a knowing look and passed him the phone. Lucas' hands trembled a bit and took a deep breath.

"Hi?" Lucas greeted, his voice shaky. It was a miracle his whole body wasn't shaking.

Someone took a sharp inhale and the phone was dead silent for seconds.

What if he doesn't want me anymore? What if I'm not worthy? 

"Hello, Lucas. It's wonderful to hear you." Eliott finally said.

"Oh my God. You're a sappy little shit." That was Mika.

"I, uh, I'm happy to… hear you too." Lucas told him, refusing to meet the eyes of Sofiane and Idriss.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you," Eliott let out a low laugh. "Can we meet in person, please? So we can talk and know each other better."

"Yeah, yeah, of course."

"But first, are you comfortable with me being your soulmate?"

Lucas stilled. His grip on the phone tighten and sighed. He was delighted with who his soulmate was, words could not even describe his own hurricane of feelings. So, Lucas said what his heart was singing.

"You are everything I ever wanted." 

And Eliott's own heart stopped a beat when he heard those words.

"Oh…" Eliott was speechless. "Now I seriously want to see your face."

"Well, in fact, you are wearing my face…"

"Shut up, you know what I mean." He laughed and Lucas thought his laugh could brighten the darkest place.

"Let's meet, then."

After some minutes talking, they agreed to meet at the coffee shop Eliott worked at. The two boys offered him to accompany him, however Lucas declined with the excuse that he needed to be alone with Eliott.

It was half truth.

For the other half, he didn't want them to see him panic over his soulmate.

Lucas managed to arrive at the café with ten minutes of delay. He ran through the mass of people, not even caring if he elbowed a guy on his way. 

First meeting and he was really making a good impression.

He exhaled when he came in to the shop, looking around to see his own body. It was going to be weird. To see himself in the eyes of someone else. Lucas ignored the stares he gained, mostly from a small group of girls which were sitting in a corner far from the others. They were staring at Eliott, not at Lucas. The place wasn't huge, but it was the perfect size and it was cozy enough. There were two boys working at the front table and not many people had come. While looking around, he nearly missed a pair of blue eyes.

Eliott was already gazing at him when he met his eyes.

Lucas felt the air leaving him. This was really happening. He was truly reuniting with his soulmate.

He walked the short space that was separating them and gave him a shy smile. Eliott just observed him, a soft, small smile on his lips.

"Feels weird to see myself," Eliott began. "And to be smaller."

Lucas chuckled, "It feels good to be taller for once."

"I bet you're enjoying this."

"But not more than you." Lucas admitted and cleared his throat. "I saw the painting."

Eliott's expression didn't falter. It just became softer.

"Did you like it?" He questioned in a low voice.

"Yes," the boy replied in a heartbeat. "I don't know how to express it, but it made me feel things."

"Then I did a good job."

There was silence. It wasn't uncomfortable nor tense. They were gazing at each other, a little odd since they still were in the other's body.

"Can I kiss you?" Lucas blurted out.

Shit. Kill me now.

Eliott widened his eyes, mouth hanging open by his boldness.

"Fuck, forget that. I shouldn't have—"

"Lucas, of course you can. We're soulmates." The other one retorted.

"Soulmates can be platonic or romantic."

"I want to be your romantic soulmate, then."

Now Lucas was the one who was left with a mouth hanging. Eliott just smirked at him, pleased with the reaction.

"I don't kiss in the first date." Lucas teased and tried to get his shit together.

"So this is a date?" Eliott teased back, his smirk only getting bigger. "Funny. You were the one who asked if you could kiss me."

Lucas' cheeks reddened and laughed it off.

"It can be the first of many, if you want to." Lucas said, not meeting his gaze.

Eliott closed their distance and despite the clear height difference, he forced him to look at him.

"I want to, Lucas. I want all those experiences with you."

"You talk about it very fondly but you barely know me, Eliott."

"I know three things. First, you're my soulmate," he numbered with his fingers. "Second, you're fucking hot, Lucas. And third, you're the only thing that matters to me."

Lucas looked at him, really looked at him, and he found himself without words -again- because the look on Eliott was raw honesty. He truly meant everything he said.

"So, can we kiss and switch bodies and have a properly first date?" Eliott proposed.

He only nodded, maybe more enthusiastically than needed, but he did anyways. 

One second they were staring at each other with that look Lucas hoped to see in Eliott with his own body.

And the next one, their lips collided.

He didn't know who made the first move, as cliche as it sounded, but he only knew that it felt so right he didn't want this feeling to wash away. Lucas sensed he returned to his body when he felt his height shift and because he was gripping Eliott's broad shoulders.

They separated, much to their dismay, and ignored the look a couple was sending their way. 

Lucas saw Eliott in all his glory and now, now he could admire him without feeling weird. He even looked better now that he was staring him with his own eyes.

"You look more beautiful this way." Eliott voiced his thoughts. "I really love your eyes."

"I love your smile."

Eliott gave him a big grin, his eyes turning into two crescent moons. And Lucas smiled back.

"I guess we already love little things about each other," Eliott shrugged and sat in a excluded table. "Let's start our date, shall we?" He motioned to the other seat.

Lucas took a seat, his smile never going away.

"I'm Eliott Demaury and I'm your soulmate. What's your name?"

"Lucas Lallemant. A pleasure to meet you, soulmate."

"I hope it's not too forward, Lucas, but can I tell you something?"

He nodded.

"You are everything I ever wanted."

After that first date, a second came and a third and a fourth and so on. They met each other's friends and family. They met their guilty pleasures and their discomforts.They met their own fears. But even when the darkness came, the light was already waiting for them at the end. 

And without knowing, with a couple of years ahead, both of them were on their knees, proposing to the other.

They already had their answer.

Yes.

#skam france #elu fic #elu soulmate au #body swap #lucas x eliott #lucas is a gay mess wbk #instead of updating my fic #i wrote this oneshot #enjoy

[365daysoftododeku]

15th May 2019

Author: Mara

________________________________________________________________

Sunshine Smiles

Shouto’s father was an ass. Well, he wasn’t the worst, he had gotten better, but he still took Shouto’s phone and laptop every time he went up to his room. ‘It is a distraction’ his father would say. Shouto thought he was just being an ass and liked to annoy Shouto, mostly because he wasn’t able to properly operate his own phone.

Nonetheless, Shouto was a seventeen-year-old, stuck in his bedroom with nothing. Well, there were books, but he didn’t want books. He wanted to talk with Izuku, his best friends and his not-so-secret crush. Apparently, the crush was only a secret for Izuku, and a long time, for Shouto himself. He hadn’t realised he liked his friend romantically, he had just assumed it was perfectly normal to feel warm and safe around someone you trusted. Later on, he had realised he hadn’t the same feelings around Momo, who was also a dear friend of him. And he never had the desire to kiss her.

Shouto definitely had considered kissing Izuku sometimes. He looked really kissable, with his freckled nose and cheeks, his big, green eyes, a mop of curly hair and lips that never stopped moving. Thankfully not because Izuku was kissing someone, but because Izuku never stopped talking about whatever fascinating thing he just had read. Shouto loved listening to Izuku.

It didn’t matter that he had a crush on his best friend. After all, his best friend was dating someone else. Uraraka Ochako was a sweet girl and Shouto couldn’t hate her. She clearly adored Izuku, and Izuku clearly adored her. And even with his little knowledge concerning romance, he could see that the two of them were cute together.

Lying sprawled on his bed, Shouto was half-asleep when he noticed a bright light flickering on and off. Only his desk-light was on, and that thing was only burning lightly, casting a warm glow over the wooden desk. But nothing more.

Finally, his tired, moping brain caught up with what was happening and Shouto nearly toppled out of bed, rushing over to the window.

He could look straight at the window of the house opposite of his. The street was pretty narrow, but it was still hard to make out details. But it wasn’t hard to notice the mop of green curls, or the bright yellow pajama Izuku wore.

Shouto waved, and Izuku finally stopped flicking his light switch, leaving the light burning.

They’ve been doing this for years, even before they got attached to their phones and spent most of their time texting. Midoriya Izuku has been living opposite his house for as long as he could remember, and they have been friends for almost as long. It was hard not to befriend Izuku, with his sweet appearance and bright personality.

Izuku rolled his whiteboard over to the window. Today was whiteboard day, it seemed. Whatever was troubling Izuku, paper wasn’t enough to conceive the message.

While Izuku was scribbling something down, Shouto grabbed his own whiteboard and wheeled it over. One side was filled with junk, red yarn, pictures, newspaper articles. Shouto couldn’t even make sense of what he had tried to theorise, but he had been drunk on lack of sleep so probably it was something completely outlandish and ridiculous.

The side with the conspiracy stuff wouldn’t face the window, Shouto liked to keep that bit of dignity.

Looking at the Midoriya household, he saw Izuku doodling on the whiteboard. So he was done writing. ‘Math is killing me, h e l p’ it read.

Shouto picked up a marker, jotting down his response. ‘I finished it. What question?’

Izuku stopped his doodle, read Shouto’s message, and wiped out his own message. Izuku noted down one of the last questions, one Shouto had struggled with. He wasn’t surprised that Izuku also struggled with it, and this late at night you didn’t want to keep going on forever with one, stupid question.

Shouto started to note down the answer, after checking his own calculations. He was okay at math, but no way he could do it from the top of his head. He wasn’t a miracle worker.

Slowly, as expected, Izuku’s face started to light up with realisation. After making a few notes on an off-screen paper, Izuku erased his question and drew one big ‘thanks’ on it, surrounding it by doodles of flowers, stick figures and hearts.

He was really gay for this boy, there was no going back.

~*~

‘I’m bored,’ Shouto’s first message read, and Izuku tipped his head back in quiet laughter in response. His father had guests over, so Shouto had fled upstairs. Without his phone and laptop, of course, because he was planning on spending his entire evening searching the dark web like his father believed to think.

‘Me too tbh’ read Izuku’s paper. A second one followed. ‘U have time?’

‘Yes???’

Izuku looked like he giggled, but that could be wishful thinking.

It took Izuku some time to scribble down whatever thing he had cooked up. Usually, he used the whiteboard, but in his mid-term scramble, he had forgotten to buy new markers. No markers, no whiteboard.

‘Don’t laugh’ the first one read. The second one followed after a thumbs-up from Shouto. ‘What would be-’ and ‘-a nice date?’

Seconds passed and Shouto just blinked at the words. Izuku was asking him about ideas for a date. A date Izuku would take Uraraka on, most likely. He was asking Shouto of all people. The guy who was still single and painfully crushing on his best friend.

‘Not for me!’ a sign was added. Izuku’s face had grown red. ‘Kirishima’.

Oh, that was… better? Shouto didn’t know Kirishima all that well, aside from that it was their classmate, that he had started to dye his hair in their senior year and that he got along with basically everyone, including socially awkward Shouto and hot-tempered Bakugo.

Still, Shouto’s mind drew a blank. What was even a good idea for a date? Movies? Ice cream? Summer was getting close. But those were ideas that Izuku already knew, and if not, he probably wasn’t interested in them. Those would be the suggestions the internet would give you.

Shouto looked up to the heavens, begging whatever being that was up there to give him an idea. His eyes caught the sight of thousands of stars sprinkled across the vast darkness.

Not knowing what else to write, Shouto wrote down ‘stargazing’ and showed it to Izuku. Even from this distance, Shouto knew that Izuku’s eyes were twinkling like the stars above them.

~*~

It was pretty much an average night for Shouto. He had finished his homework, his father was insufferable so he had hidden upstairs, where the only company he had was Izuku. Thankfully, Izuku had finished his homework too and was willing to entertain Shouto by playing hanging-man with him. It was a silly game, but he loved it when Izuku came up with the most ridiculous words, creating small doodles around the vast surface of the whiteboard while Shouto guessed the letters.

After a couple of rounds, in which the score ended up being five for Izuku and one for Shouto—he sucked at this game—they moved on to just chatting.

Not in the mood of talking about school or his father, Shouto decided that their classmates were a safe subject. Uraraka had been sick for the entire week, which meant that Izuku most be worried out his mind. His girlfriend was sick. Shouto knew that he would panic if Izuku would be down with a fever—he had been there before.

So he scribbled ‘how is Uraraka doing?’ and patiently waited for Izuku’s reply, ignoring the painful stab in his heart.

Izuku looked confused, taking a long while to note down his reply. ‘She is okay???’ he noted down, erasing it and added the second part: ‘she told us, in the g-chat’.

Now it was Shouto’s turn to be confused. He knew that Uraraka had texted them that she was fine, but Izuku surely would have visited her!

‘You haven’t visited her’ he nodded down, adding ‘homework?’ as an afterthought.

‘No, Tsuyu did’ Izuku replied. ‘Why?’ followed after.

Shouto bit his lip, wondering if he should ask. Izuku had never told him that he was dating Uraraka, but it was blatantly obvious that they were a thing. He didn’t want to pry in Izuku’s private life, but he had no other explanation why he had assumed that. And he wasn’t going to lie to Izuku.

Shouto took his time by writing down his response, delaying the inevitable conclusion that yes, Izuku was dating Uraraka and Shouto didn’t have a chance.

Izuku stood frozen in shock. Not even bothering to wipe out his previous answer, he wrote down a big ‘no’ on the whiteboard.

Shouto felt relieved. He wasn’t even going to deny that. He in no way hated Uraraka, he even liked her, but he liked Izuku a lot more.

‘Why did you think that?’ Izuku asked. His handwriting was a hurried scribble, which was unlike Izuku who had eligible handwriting.

‘It looked like it’ Shouto answered in all honesty.

Izuku paused for a long time, apparently deep in thought. Eventually, he wrote a question on the whiteboard, not even bothered to confirm he had read Shouto’s answer.

‘Are you and Momo a thing?’ it read.

Oh. Oh. It looked like he was dating Momo. Maybe because they were close friends? But that was the exact same thing as Izuku and Uraraka. They were close friends, and immediately everyone, Shouto included, thought they were dating. And probably everyone thought he was dating Momo, which he definitely wasn’t. He was gay and had a ridiculous crush on Izuku.

He wrote down ‘no’ on the whiteboard. It was hard to see from across the street, but Shouto was quite sure that Izuku looked relieved. Or he was just projecting, which was quite possible because he was an absolute fool.

Wiping out the ‘no’, Shouto jotted down ‘sorry’, drawing several clumsy hearts. He wasn’t as artistic as Izuku, but he knew his best friend liked it if Shouto tried. Plus hearts were innocent, as Izuku threw them around all the time. It wasn’t like Shouto was pouring his heart out.

Izuku was glowing.

~*~

His father was out of town, so Shouto could have his stuff upstairs for once. Not that it withheld him from communicating with Izuku trough their usual means. It had a certain charm to it, and a nostalgic feeling. Something they wouldn’t be able to keep doing once they graduated high school and move on to college. In the back of his mind, Shouto had suggested multiple times if Izuku wanted to be his roommate. But this only had been a thought. He had been too big of a chicken to actually ask.

They had been playing a couple of rounds of tic-tac-toe, Izuku always winning or making them tie. Shouto hadn’t figured out the trick yet, despite Izuku’s insistence that there was indeed a trick to never lose in tic-tac-toe.

After Izuku’s twelfth victory, his neighbour wiped his board clean and started to jot down a message: ‘do you want to see the stars?’. Around the word ‘stars’ he had drawn small stars, the red marker popping against the black.

Despite being confused by Izuku’s request—they never had watched the stars before, he didn’t even know that Izuku liked watching the stars—Shouto answered with a hurried ‘yes’. Everything to get out of this warm home, even if he would be hit by the warm summer air. And, he would enjoy some time with Izuku that didn’t involve any of their friends.

He made  sure he looked presentable and told his sister he was going out (to their neighbour, so no, he wasn’t going out partying). He left with only his phone, a house-key, and a lot of excitement.

Five minutes later, after greeting Izuku’s mum, declining the food and drinks she offered, he was laying down on the grass, Izuku only an arm-length away. The warm summer weather meant that it was cloudless, showing them a star-filled sky. It was breathtaking.

“I can’t believe we’re almost done with high school,” Izuku said in wonder.

Shouto grunted in agreement.

In the corner of his eyes he saw Izuku move. Curious, Shouto turned on his side. Izuku was staring at him, clearly nervous. But why?

“You still aren’t dating Momo, right?”

“I’m gay.”

Well, that was out of the bag.

Izuku stared at him with big doe-like eyes, “I thought you were bi.”

“Gay, really gay.”

“I’m bi,” Izuku confessed.

Shouto wasn’t really surprised. He had a suspicious, but never knew for sure. He tried to stop making assumptions after he was completely wrong about Izuku and Uraraka dating.

A piece of paper came out of nowhere. Shouto assumed it had been in one of Izuku’s short pockets, but he would never know for sure.

Izuku slowly unfolded the paper, hiding behind the red ink and the worn lines of paper that had been folded and unfolded many times. It took Shouto a few seconds to realise that the red ink formed words, but hard to make out what it was, with how close he was to the paper.

Moving his head back a bit, Shouto finally managed to read the words.

‘I love you’ was written with a red marker, hearts in all sizes drawn around it.

Shouto was almost sure he was dreaming. Almost, as he had dreamed of this before. Izuku confessing to him, but never like this. Never lie on the grass, bathing in the warm summer sun and trying to watch the stars.

“I’ve loved you for five years.”

Izuku grew rapidly red in the face, eyes growing wider by the second.

“Five years!”

Shouto nodded.

“You can’t just say that! Now I feel bad,” Izuku hid his face behind his hands. “I’ve been crushing on you for, maybe a year?”

He didn’t really care. No, that sounded insensitive. He did care, but his five-year-long crush was just ridiculous. One year seems much fairer than being thirteen and barely able to grasp the concept of love. What even is love, aside from the wild beating of your heart, and an overabundance of love for a specific person?

“Do you,” Izuku hesitated, before determinedly grabbing Shouto’s hand. Izuku’s hand was sweaty and slightly sticky, but Shouto hadn’t it in him to take his hand away. Izuku must be as nervous as him, if not even more. “Want to go out?”

Shouto swallowed nervously. “Like, on a date?”

Izuku nodded. “We could get ice-cream, or go to the cinema! And since we’re going to the same college, we’ll see each other a lot even away from home! Maybe my mum even wants to take you along on our holiday, she loves you to pieces!”

“She wouldn’t mind us dating?”

Izuku shook his head, his curls falling in his eyes. He didn’t seemed bothered with it, at all. “She would be overjoyed, she knew before me, probably.”

Shouto suddenly recalled his sister’s knowing gaze each time he talked about Izuku. And as he hadn’t told her about his long-lasting crush, she must have figured it out herself. She never told him that she knew, though she never had disapproved of it either, as she hadn’t ratted him out to their father.

“I think my sister knew.”

“I think everyone knew it before us.”

It was a bit embarrassing to realise that Momo knew, and that she had been hinting and pushing the whole time. Shouto only had seen it as supportiveness. Turned out she just knew more than him. But in the end, it didn’t matter all that much. Because now they were there, holding hands, smiling like fools in Izuku’s backyard. Maybe this wasn’t the most romantic moment one could dream off, but Shouto liked this plenty. At least this one was real.

________________________________________________________________

Would you like your work to be featured in the 365 Days of TodoDeku Project? Apply here! (≧∇≦)/

#Story #lavanderstarcatcher #TodoDeku #365DaysofTodoDeku #TodoDeku365 #365 Days of TodoDeku #tddk #Shouto Todoroki #Todoroki Shouto #Izuku Midoriya #Midoriya Izuku #Boku no Hero Academia #BNHA #My Hero Academia #MHA #Todoroki x Midoriya #Shouto x Izuku #TodoIzu

[xxminuitestlaxx]

healing

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."

part ii of heartburn (that is now edited), ao3 link

au; Lucas makes a big dumb mistake out of being dumbass he is. Partly. The second one at the fault is his panic and fear that are controling his life. But Lucas decides he doesn't want to be afraid anymore. And so he tries to fix things. Note the word "tries".

And maybe he isn't afraid anymore, but he definitely is still a dumbass.

i hope you enjoy this, even though i’m not really as happy with this as i should be, and even when i think there are many mistakes that i don’t know how to fix in there, but i still hope you’ll enjoy it! :D

/*/*/*/

Lucas felt like an asshole.

Like a complete, utter asshole, a heartless moron.

Even thought of that night made him feel guilt twisting his guts. An image of Eliott's teary eyes and shaky voice, his pleads for Lucas to leave keeps repeating itself in Lucas' mind, slowly torturing him. 

He sees a glimpse of Manon's worrying eyes watching him as if she was waiting for him to spill his life story or something, which he successfully ignores and keeps on moping in their shared living room. His gaze is unfocused, his eyes set on one particular thing that he keeps on looking at while his mind wanders a million miles away. 

Lucas can't stop thinking about that night ever since he came back home, well, at the flatshare. The words 'I'm in love with you'  are repeating like a broken record, reminding him of the mistake he made. A couple of mistakes. In fact, he could write a book, all about the mistakes he's made. 

He wants to go to Eliott's apartment and apologize, to tell him all about his fears and mistakes, but he feels like his opportunity is missed, that he is too late and everything he has done is irreparable, impossible to fix. 

And he is missing Eliott, god knows just how much he's missing him. He is missing his touch, his voice, his face. His face above them all, especially when he smiles. His smile was almost blinding with its brightness, and perhaps his smile was a starter for Lucas' unholy thoughts and  the panic. Lucas used to tell himself they only like to have fun, and of course he couldn't ruin their fun with his stupid feelings, he told himself even if something else happened, nothing good will develop from it. None of his friends even know he likes boys, hell, he himself can't sometimes come to terms he really is gay.

No girl ever made shiver come down his back like Eliott's electric touch does, no girl made his heartbeat so fast like Eliott's smile does and...fuck it. He fell in love, he really did, and it scared him. It scared the shit out of him, so he tells himself that no, no, no he didn't, that thing he is feeling isn't love, it's only a mere attraction he is confusing with love. 

And for a while, it worked. He kept the game on, he kept on turning away from Eliott's gaze, he tried so hard to keep Eliott away from him when they weren't together, he turned him down whenever he asked something about him or tried to get to know him better, because that was a step closer to something he isn't ready for, or at least that was what he tried to make himself believe, but really he was only a coward. And all of that came back later to bite him in the ass.

Eliott started acting strange. He never refused to hook up, but he just kept on looking at Lucas, looking at him as if he hung the moon, and when they were done, he just kept on lying on the bed, physically there with him, but his mind was wandering a billion miles away from Lucas, if he didn't remind him he was still there he doubted Eliott would notice if he stayed or if he left.

He probably thought Lucas didn't notice, but he did, oh fuck he did, he noticed he wasn't his charming self for weeks now, having no clue what was bothering him. Never would he thought it was all because of him, that Eliott must've suffered for weeks, all because of his stupid fear.

He should've done something when Eliott told him he fell in love, he should've told him what that thing was all about, but he is too much of a coward to do that. And so he did the thing he feared the most people would've done to him - he left. He left Eliott with the tears in his pretty eyes and heartbreaking inside his chest, his sudden panic being at fault. 

He remembered feeling an utter confusion and maybe a little hurt when Eliott texted him on Monday, doubting he would really care about him, when he did, he was only a big moron. He immediately spammed him with texts, with pleads to call him, only so he could say 'fuck it' and go to Eliott's to have a word or two with Eliott.

And maybe...maybe he would be able to tell him about fear to be out of the closet and not being accepted by his friends, perhaps even about him never feeling like this and being afraid of not handling it. 

But Eliott wasn't feeling well, which burst his little hope bubble. He started worrying and it was twisting his guts, because Eliott was not well and probably didn't want to be annoyed by him, but he possibly could be waiting for him to text him, which he couldn't force himself to do, so maybe Eliott hated him...or maybe he was only overthinking everything and Eliott didn't expect anything from him...

All in all, he couldn't sleep for the whole week. When he gets worried or sad he tends to stay up all night, overthinking everything. He sighed in relief when Eliott finally texted him, thinking that it will be like it was before, but he was utterly wrong. He never would've thought Eliott will end everything between them completely out of nowhere, not knowing what else to do he grasped anything he could turn against Eliott, back then he didn't care if that made him a bad person or if he was hurting him, he was aware he was being selfish, but at that moment he wasn't thinking, panic absolutely controlled him and his actions.

He did everything just so Eliott won't make his words come true, he simply couldn't get over the fact it would be over between them. No late Friday nights inside Eliott's small room, them both being out of breath and lying down in complete peace for a minute. Lucas loved those nights, the only problem being that the night went too quickly, everything was over too soon and Lucas was not ready to go home. He wanted to stay, to stay forever, knowing very well Eliott would let him. And the thought of that made him jump from the bed and dress himself so quickly, he was out of Eliott's apartment in no time.

This one mere thought could entirely alarm him, feeling nothing but fear of judgment. What would his friends say? What would his mom say? How long could relationship like this last?

But all of them were nothing compared to what he actually felt for Eliott. That was what he was afraid of the most.

It was a strong feeling, one he never felt before. How could he be able to handle this all? So he bottled everything inside him, only letting his guard down in late nights in Eliott's arms, strangely feeling like himself for the first time in a while. 

The problem was he was not supposed to feel like this, this was not right, he wasn't even sure he like boys, if he truly was gay, everything was so strange and new and confusing, he was just so scared. The one true terror was when he realized Eliott felt like home he could always return to, without consequences and obligations, whenever he felt down, he just came to Eliott and lost himself in his soft touch and pleasure.

It made him a horrible person, he was aware of that. He denied himself so many things, he was sure Eliott won't become one until he did. He denied himself the look in his eyes, knowing very well what he would find in them, he denied himself Eliott's touch, he denied that he wanted more than lustful nights in Eliott's apartment. Because at first, he was sure that no, he didn't need more, they were only having fun with no feelings attached. Only the look in Eliott's eyes and he knew he was being a fool, so he stopped looking into his eyes, he made that fucking rule he repeated until Eliott understood. 

And he couldn't get over that Eliott would take away from him the only thing that made him not lose his mind. So he pushed and pushed, just so he won't lose it. He still did lose it. And when he looked Eliott straight in the eyes for the first time in a while he saw just how much he hurt him and he realized how much of a horrible mistake he made. 

And here he was, I guess. 

"Are you okay?" he hears a small voice coming from his left side, bringing him back to reality, knowing exactly who was talking to him. Manon still had her worrying face on, eyeing him the whole time. She kept her stare on ever since he came home and, him being his dramatic angry self, started moping around the flatshare. He knew Mika and Lisa also noticed, but Lisa obviously didn't care and Mika tried to come up with something to ask him. He was glad he didn't come up with anything yet.

But how could he possibly answer Manon? If he says yes she won't believe him if he says no she will dig in it till she has an answer she wants. And he didn't felt like coming out to her yet, shit, she had no idea he had a thing, but not really a thing, with Eliott. 

So he answers with a shrug, to which she raises an eyebrow at him in a quiet question he doesn't want to answer. When she realizes he won't answer her, she sighs and asks again.

"Do you want to talk?" and really, does he want to talk? Probably no. Definitely no. No, he doesn't know, so that's why the answer is a simple 'I don't know'. Lately, he is confused about everything. 

"You know if you want to talk, I'm here. About anything, really. You know that, right?" he looks at her and tries to offer her a small smile, but the corners of his mouth rise only a little, the smile visible only very hardly. She won't accept that as an answer, so he also nods his head.

"Yeah," he says with a small voice, "Yeah, I know."

***

It's Thursday and his day went unbearably slowly, but going after school to Imane's to revise biology with her isn't much of relief either. It isn't about Imane, god knows how much he loves that girl, he just..he literally wants to do anything but biology. He had plenty of problems and biology was not one of them. He wanted to go home and stay in his sad little bubble, where no one will annoy him. He didn't feel like revising questions about daughter cells, the problem here was he already promised Imane he will help her, and she'd murder him if he turned his offer down.

But at least she offered her place this time, so he could make up an excuse and leave sooner. It was not that big of a deal as throwing Imane out of the flatshare would be, but it still doesn't make him any better person. Fuck, lately he was slowly realizing how much of a bad person he really is.

He sat down on Imane's bed and he went through the paper they were supposed to get over with till Monday, but he couldn't focus, feeling like  complete shit. He sighs, unaware of the sound he just made. Imane's eyes shoot up to him and she raises her eyebrows.

"What's eating you?" she asks and he immediately shakes his head.

"Nothing, nothing," her face screamed 'bullshit' at him and he turns away from her gaze, "I'm just really tired, I haven't slept well in a while."

"Insomnia again?" he nods his head slowly, and he felt better knowing that he wasn't lying to Imane, even though insomnia wasn't his main problem. It wouldn't even get to the top fifty on the list. "Have you been to the school nurse? Maybe she could help?"

"No, I haven't gone there. But, to be honest, I don't really plan to go there either," he mumbles, after which Imane's hand meets with the back of his head. He scratches the hit spot and watches Imane shake her head in disbelief.

"Unbelievable, you're even bigger of a dumbass than I thought," she sighs and returns to her papers while Lucas shrugs.

"You have no idea," his tone changes completely without him willing to do so and Imane looks at him again, her gaze softening a little.

"You should get help, you know. I'm not going to make you, it's your decision to make after all, but at least take this advice - never bottle these things up. Never. Because they always find their way out to bite you in the ass. And the situation might get worse than it is, even when you think you've hit rock bottom, you actually didn't have to hit it yet."

Lucas tries to offer her a small smile and actually succeed. "Since when does Imane Bakhellal give advice?"

She snorts and kicks his leg. "Shut the fuck up."

Lucas would've said something else if he didn't hear noises coming from downstairs. He raises an eyebrow and throws confused look Imane's way.

"You said no one will be at home?" Imane shrugs and takes the first paper in her hands.

"I did and I wasn't wrong. It's probably only Idriss, he said he forgot something here the last time he was here, only he said he'll stop by at evening. I don't know since when he considers three pm as evening, but eh. I couldn't care less," Lucas feels uncomfortable shiver making its way down his back when she mentioned her brother's name. Idriss. Eliott's best friend and roommate.

Fuck.

This felt like an opportunity he couldn't miss. He will regret it if he'll miss this opportunity to ask a little about Eliott, Idriss was his roommate, he should know a thing or two about his actual state.

"Can I use a bathroom?" he asks quickly, he has to be fast if he wants to catch Idriss while he is still here.

"Sure," Imane answers immediately, not even looking away from the papers. He jumps from his place on the bed and runs downstairs, Imane looks at him, look full of annoyance and confusion. Lucas ignores it, too busy running down the stairs and almost killing himself on one particular stair that he overlooked. He stumbles on it and only barely keeps his balance.

 As he goes closer to the kitchen, even from the hall he is able to catch a glimpse of Idriss drinking an orange juice straight from the bottle near the kitchen table.

"Hey!" and really, this would probably be a good start if he hadn't yelled the greeting like a lunatic. It's no wonder that Idriss jumped at the sound of his voice. Okay, this all was probably a bad idea. But it's not like he can back out now, can he?

"Fuck, you almost caused me a heart attack," Idriss chuckles dryly. "Hi, Lucas. What are you doing here?"

"Uh, just revising biology with Imane. Big exam ahead of us, you know. She won't let me fail it," and after that follows a quite awkward silence. As if they had nothing to tell to the other, when Lucas had so much to ask, only feeling now like he couldn't put words into one common sentence. 

"How - how are you doing? Still working?" he certainly did not mean to ask that, god. Idriss looks surprised about the abrupt question but doesn't really say anything about it.

"I'm alright, I guess. Definitely still working," Lucas nods at the answer dumbly, Idriss follows him and also nods, looking uncomfortable. Lucas could relate so much and really, he felt kind of sorry for Idriss, he was the one who Lucas caught first and was going to torture with subtle-but-not-subtle-at-all questions, all of them leading to nothing but Eliott.

"Still living in the flatshare? With Eliott and Sofiane?" he can't miss how Idriss kind of flinches when he hears Eliott's name, but he also might be imagining that all. Idriss doesn't know about the thing between them two, neither does Sofiane, no? So why would Idriss react like that? Lucas was only being dramatic and delusional, as always.

"Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I?" the change of the tone makes Lucas confused. Okay, this isn't going to end well.

"I don't know," the sheepish answer makes Idriss frown at him and Lucas looks down, defeated, "Okay, to hell with all this. How is Eliott?"

Idriss' frown remains. "What?"

"I asked how is Eliott doing. I haven't talked to him for a quite long time, so I'm curious," he wants to roll his eyes because his question was so easy and yet Idriss didn't understand? 

"I don't think it's really your place to ask this, though," Lucas blinks dumbly at him. Twice. He definitely knew about everything that happened, he knows that Lucas is a piece of crap that broke his best friend's heart, he knows-

No. He will keep the game on, he has to. He will play dumb. "Uh, what?"

"Look, Lucas," Idriss sighs and gives him a look that Lucas has trouble to read, "I don't know what you're thinking, but I know. I know. Not everything, but I know enough. Why do you think I suggested you to talk to him after he gets better? Because I didn't think that you'd make things even worse than they already were. I don't know what he is thinking either, perhaps that we are that dumb to not notice that he hasn't been good since fucking forever. We used to mistake it with episodes all the time, but no, these are no fucking episodes. He used to talk to Sofiane all the time, but barely talked to me, which used to hurt back then, but now I'd give anything to have that interaction back. Having him talk, having him eat regularly back. Having good days back. Neither of us knows what to do, we are clueless. So you want to know what we do?"

Lucas is too shocked to answer, his thoughts running through his mind at the speed of light and he feels guilt eating his insides, his eyes getting wet and his heart beating its way out of his chest. He didn't understand what Idriss meant by 'episodes', but he had no time to re-think all that Idriss has said because Idriss kept on talking, Lucas could barely hear him through the blood rushing through his ears, making him almost deaf. But he still listened.

"We do absolutely nothing, we just leave him to drown in his tears. Maybe he thinks we didn't notice any of that, that I still think you're just a friend, but you're barely that, Lucas. I liked you, I really did, and I'm not blaming you for any of this, of course I'm not. I kind of get it, because yeah, you can't make yourself like someone you don't like. I know that, but please don't come to me and ask me how he is doing. How could he possibly be doing?" 

He felt his eyes being filled with tears, feeling so small suddenly next to Idriss, which in this case had nothing to do with his height. Lucas felt like a child again, a child that's being lectured by his parents. He didn't blame Idriss for being mad at him, he was Eliott's best friend, after all, he would've been mad too if someone broke Yann's heart and even had the nerve to talk to him after that. But small pieces of Idriss' monologue cut deeply into his heart, pieces like 'you're barely even friend'. 

"I-," he starts, but his voice breaks, so he has to start over. "I get why you are mad. I-I know I fucked up, fucked everything up. At the point that there is no returning back, but there are things you don't understand. I'm not sure even Eliott understands them."

It seemed like a good start because Idriss hasn't tried to talk over him yet, that was one thing. The other thing was that he wasn't looking at him the way he looked at him before, but that barely changed anything.

"I'm gay, Idriss. And you really should be honored, because you're the first one hearing this leaving my mouth. I was in the closet for a really long time, thinking that it was normal, but then I had my first girlfriend that I dumped two weeks after because it simply couldn't work. Then the thing between Eliott and I started, and I kept on saying to myself that there isn't anything serious here. But then something changed. I figured these must be feelings I have for Eliott, so I panicked. I completely freaked out. I didn't know how my friends would react to that and I still don't know that, but now I'm sure I don't want my life being controlled by fear, because it not only caused me pain, but also Eliott. And I don't want that. I want Eliott to be happy, but I don't know if it's not too late for that."

Idriss remains quiet for a while. He breaks the silence after a minute or two. "Honestly, Lucas, I have no idea what to tell you. I had no idea about this, I thought that- huh. There is most definitely one thing that's clear - you have to come clean with your friends. If their reaction will be anything but support I'm sorry, but they aren't really your friends. And with Eliott, I can now tell you one thing - this all you just told me you should've probably told Eliott. I can't tell you how he'd react, but it's better if he knows the truth. He should get that you were scared, but I can't speak for him. But you definitely need to talk. Because communication is a key and this thing that's happened between you now is the proof of that. Talk to him." 

And Lucas will do that. He will. He only needs to grow some balls and courage to do it. He wants to jog back to Imane, who probably is already wondering where he was, but in the last second he turns around.

"I-thank you," he says, his voice small and quiet. He doesn't wait for an answer, this time he really does go back to Imane's room. When he enters her room, she looks up from the papers and look at him. He moves back to his spot next to her on her bed.

"Took you long enough," she mumbles, no longer looking at him. She didn't wait for his answer if her quick return to her papers was anything to go by. The girl probably heard him talking to her brother, but hasn't said a word about that.

Lucas only now realizes how lucky he is to call himself a friend of Imane.

***

Lucas' heart pounds loudly in his chest when he stops in front of Eliott's university. He knew he goes there only thanks to Idriss, who told him he'd be in the studio after school. According to Idriss he comes home late, his reason for being home three hours after school ended was that he 'stopped in the studio'. 

Lucas hoped the studio will be empty by now, Eliott being the only student left there. He exhales shakily and turned to walk right into the studio. He was shaking a little, not knowing what to expect from Eliott. If Idriss was pissed off and he had nothing to do with it he could only imagine how Eliott must've felt. Was he angry? Was he sad? None of the above? Hell, was this even a good idea? Yeah, he and Eliott had to talk, but was now a good time to talk?

Lucas decides it's too late to turn back when he stood in front of the door to the studio. He opens them as quietly as is possible and steps in. The studio looked completely empty, if he didn't look closely he would've sworn that no one was inside. But then he hears a faint sound, a quiet song played on the piano. A mere game with fingers, so simple and soothing. He looks at the corner of the room where the piano is standing and he sees him. It has been so long since he seen him and he looks like hell.

Dark bags under his eyes and his face a little pale, otherwise he doesn't seem much different than he did before, but Lucas doesn't really see him as the boy that he was before. The cheerful, kind boy that Lucas liked looking at, not once thinking it could be weird and never considers it a crush because everyone liked looking at him. Who wouldn't like to look at someone who was spreading love and happiness around himself without even realizing it?

Lucas felt awful feeling twisting his guts when the realization hits him. That boy is gone. He saw he was hurting, but he selfishly flipped it off, thinking it wasn't about him. And maybe it isn't, maybe Idriss and him read too much into it, perhaps something bad happened, something worse than what happened that night, and that was the reason of this all. maybe Eliott already moved on.

The soft songs suddenly stop and Lucas realizes it's too late because by then Eliott is looking at him, confused and angry. 

"I- hey," he wants to face-palm himself when the words fly out of his mouth. Fuck, what was that?

Eliott opens his mouth to say something, but then he shuts it, shakes his head and starts collecting his things into his backpack instead. Shit, he has to step in right now, before Eliott leaves and he loses the chance.

The boy quickly moves closer and starts over again. "Eliott, please, I just want to talk."

Eliott zips his backpack and looks at him again, the anger showing in his eyes. 

"I already told you everything I wanted to tell you, I have nothing to tell you," he growls and Lucas almost flinches at his tone. Eliott then again goes back to packing his things. 

"But I do!" he says, almost begging. Eliott sighs heavily and turns to him. 

"And what if I don't want to hear it? Have you thought about that? I'm sure I told you to leave me alone last time, and I meant it. So leave."

Lucas completely ignores what he just told him and shakes his head, stubbornly like a child. "Idriss and Sofiane, they...they told me you don't even talk to them anymore-"

"Since when are you such a big friend with Sofiane and Idriss?" Eliott snaps again and this time Lucas flinches. "Since when you talk to them?"

"I...I don't," he admits looking at the floor, not having the courage to look him in the eyes. "I only talked to Idriss when I was at Imane's, I just wanted to know how you were doing."

"Oh, so suddenly after two hell weeks you remember me and you suddenly care about how I'm doing? I wonder what caused all this," Lucas looks at him with wet eyes, not wanting to let them spill. He would've looked like an idiot, weak. 

"I only wanted to apologize, Eliott," he says with a small, shaky voice.

"Apologize for what exactly, Lucas?" Eliott huffs a breath. "For not liking me back? For acting like a complete asshole? Or did Idriss tell you everything you didn't know before that made you reconsider how you've been acting towards me? Pick something, since you have so much to choose from."

"Idriss hasn't really told me anything," he frowns at him, but soften his look when he sees Eliott's point. "And yes, I wanted to apologize for how - how I was acting. It must've confused and hurt you, which I sincerely apologize for."

"You know what, Lucas?" Eliott hasn't changed the tone, not even a little bit. "I couldn't care less about your apologies. Apologies won't do shit. In fact, you can go and fuck yourself with them. I know that you don't mean them, not really. You only pity me because you only discovered that I'm bipolar. Is that it, Lucas?"

"I-what? Bipolar?" after the words leave his mouth the realization hits him. All these episodes Idriss mentioned were about Eliott being bipolar. But that could never be the reason he wanted him back, from his mentally ill mother he knows people with mental illness want anything but pity, he could never want Eliott back out of pity.

"Eliott, Idriss didn't tell me you are bipolar. And even if he did, do you seriously think I'd come here out of pity?" Eliott blinks at him, obviously surprised. He is silent for a while, but when he speaks again his voice is small.

"I don't even know what to think anymore. What do you want me to think when all you do is leave? You leave every night, you left that night, so what am I supposed to think about you? I hoped every day you'd call and tell me something, anything at all, but you never did. At this point, I already thought you forgot about me. I don't even know what I expected, I only wanted the aching inside my chest to stop, but it didn't. And I can't see a reason why did you come here, I don't understand what else you want from me."

"I want you to hear me out," he pleads, at the verge of crying again. "I - you don't understand. You don't understand a lot of things and I wanted to explain. I don't even look for forgiveness, I want to explain."

"What do you want to explain? There is nothing to explain."

"There is! There are so many things you think you understand, but you don't," he says with a shaky voice, uncomfortable shiver making its way down his back. "Things like me being gay. There are two people only who knows about it and that's it. You have to understand I was scared, so fucking scared, because not everyone has such understanding friends as you do. I have no clue how they'd react if I told them and that scared me."

Eliott seemed shocked and Lucas looked quickly at the floor to avoid looking at his eyes, worried so much he'd see something he didn't want to see in them. "And then there was this whole lying to myself thing. I considered you a friend this whole time and yeah, there were a few benefits in our friendship, but I still considered you a friend. Because I couldn't bring myself to admit that yes, I'm fucking gay and I like boys. I was telling myself that we only like to have fun as many straight girls do these days. They kiss with no feelings attached, no one finds it weird. I thought it would work the same way, but it didn't. "

He took a deep breath before another of his long speeches. "It didn't because there were feelings attached the whole time. From both sides. And I was scared. Scared to come out, or at least to stop pretending that I didn't love it. Loved everything that was between us. That I didn't crave for more. I told myself to stop it, that it wasn't right and I lied to myself the whole time, just so I wouldn't worry about having to go out of the closet. I stopped you from getting any interests in me or to get to know me better, just so I could keep on lying to myself. And when you told me you fell in love I completely panicked. That's why I left."

They both were quiet for a long minute or two before Eliott broke the silence again. "I-I don't know what you want me to do."

"I don't really know either," he lies because lying is so easy. He doesn't want to be like that anymore. he won't lie no more. "No, that's - okay. I just, I want us to start over. There were very stupid mistakes made and I want to fix it. But I will understand if you don't want to."

The boy chews on his lower lip, making Lucas really nervous. "I'm not saying that I don't want that," he says quietly, but then he looks up and Lucas can't see anything but no in them. "But I'm not sure if I want it either. I don't know, I- you said a lot. Too much. It's too much and I don't know yet. I need to think. I need time. Can you give me time? Because I can't answer now."

"Yeah," he answers and he collects some courage to look at Eliott again, and something changed. Lucas is filled with hope again. "Of course I can."

He will give him all the time in the world. Till then, he knows exactly what he has to do.

***

"Lucas," he hears a faint sound of his friend's voice, but he couldn't focus, he couldn't snap back to reality after everything that's happened with Eliott. He repeats their talk again and again ever since that day, which happened four days ago already, can't help but feel the hope creeping back. 

"Lucaas," this time the voice is closer to him, which startles him and makes him blink, dumbly looking around himself.

"Hm?" is the first thing that flies out of his mouth, Arthur sighs and sits back on his spot on the couch.

"Nothing, I was just asking if you were here with us," yeah, he wasn't. "What's gotten into you?"

Lucas senses that this is it, this is to moment he should come out, the destiny calling out to him, all of his friends sitting on the couch in Yann's living room. But lying is so easy. Easier. "Nothing," the boy answers with a shrug, his friend giving him an unimpressed look.

"Yeah, I'm calling bullshit," Yann is the one to speak now and Lucas shifts, uncomfortable. He wants to say it, god knows how much he wants it, but he can't bring himself to it, still feeling the fear setting shivers down his spine. "Troubles with mom again?" Yann speaks again and Lucas looks down at his shaking hands. Oh god, when did he start shaking?

He hesitantly shakes his head. "No, that's not it."

"Then what?" Basile is the one to ask now, making Lucas look up and reminds him that yes, all of his friends were here and listening to him, worried about him. Caring about him. but one wrong word and it all could go to hell. is he really ready for this?

"I-" he starts, but his voice breaks, and he no longer finds the courage to look at them, so his gaze returned to his hands. "I fell in love."

No. No. This wasn't the thing he was supposed to say. Can he even tell them about Eliott? How much can he tell them? Fuck, this is so messy, fuck, how does he manage to mess everything up every fucking time? 

"Well, that's...great?" Arthur offers, hesitantly. "Who is it then? Do we know her?"

The problem lies right here. It isn't even a girl. How is he supposed to say that? Boldly, just go for it? Or the hints will do what he can't? No, Basile is still here. So, he goes for the first option.

"It isn't a girl," he says slowly, shaking all the way through saying the words. He wanted to come out, but he was simply so scared of not being accepted. Shit, he probably should've told one person at a time, telling two other people could be a bigger mess than coming out to one person, Yann for him preferably. But he was too stupid for that.

"Uh, what?" the Basile is the first one to speak, Arthur and Yann seem too shocked to say anything at the first minute. "You're gay?"

This is it, this is it, this is it.

"I - yeah," his voice is terrible and shaky, but he is looking at them, no longer feeling shameful when the words are out, reminding himself what Idriss told him. 'if their reaction will be anything but support i'm sorry, but they aren't really your friends.' 

"Well, let me correct myself now," Arthur starts again, with a smirk on his face. "Do we know him? "

Wait, what? That was it? 

"What?" he throws a confused look his way.

"What?" Arthur asks and Lucas can only shake his head in disbelief.

"I just-" he inhales and shakes his head again. "I'm not going to lie, I expected a different reaction. I don't know."

"What did you think our reaction would be?" Yann frowns at that, Lucas only shrugs, because really, he himself doesn't know. He was scared, no, not scared, that's a weak word, he was terrified. And now, when the words are out, he feels like there was a huge weight lifted from his shoulders. 

"I don't know," he says again. "I was scared that you would-"

He sighs and shakes his head. "That you would react badly. Really, really badly. Like, I-don't-want-to-have-anything-to-do-with-you kind of badly."

"Why would you think that?" Yann frowns, Lucas only shrugs weakly.

"You're an absolute idiot, hope you are aware of that," Arthur shakes his head and Lucas let out a watery chuckle. oh, he does now. 

"I support you! Go gays!" Basile says unnecessarily, but Lucas smiles anyways. He full-on laughs when Arthur bitch-faces him, elbows his ribs and mutters a quiet you're an idiot.

"But," Arthur starts over again, now facing Lucas. "You still haven't answered me. Who the fuck is it, Lucas! I'm serious, did he break your heart? If he did, he will fucking catch these hands, I'm not kidding. Yann will help me bury the body, won't he?"

Lucas looks down at his hands again, not sure if he can tell them about Eliott or no. In the end, he decides that fuck it, if Eliott could tell his friends about him, he sure as hell could tell the boys. 

"Eliott," he says, receiving a few confused looks. "It's Eliott."

"Wait wait! Eliott? Eliott Demaury?" Basile asks, a little too loudly, as if they were talking about some kind of superstar instead of Eliott.

"Well, yeah. What other Eliott do you know?" Lucas rolls his eyes, but really surprised Basile remembers him.

"Did something happen between you two?" Yann is the one to speak, the boy bites his lips at the question. tell them the truth. they heard you out, you owe them that.

"We had sex. And not once," he admits, Basile throws a wide-eyed look his way. 

"Fuck! That's where you vanished to on every single party we've been to. Damn," Arthur says when the realization hits him, Lucas can only weakly nod.

"Yeah. But he fell in love with me," he bites his lips and sighs. "That's where it went to shit."

"What?" Yann questions, confused. "You said you fell in love with him too, no? So why?"

"I was in the closet, that's why," he tries to explain, but Yann still hasn't seemed like he understood. "I - uh. Was scared. No, I was terrified. I have never felt like this before, no girl has ever made me feel like this. No one did. It was new, it was weird, and for a long time, I was convinced it was wrong. Everyone ever around me told me how same-sex relationships were wrong and disgusting. I thought it was true, but I didn't want to give up the one thing that ever felt right to me."

"But?" Arthur asks, obviously noticing that there was 'but'.

"But Eliott started to act weird. Like he never was there with me, like he was hundreds of miles away from me when I was with him, he looked just..sad. But I convinced myself that it didn't have anything to do with me"

"What did you do?" Basile asks, a little too breathless. Lucas would roll his eyes if he had the energy to do so.

"I panicked. Completely panicked. And I didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say. So I left. And before any of you open your mouths, I know okay! I know I am an idiot who probably broke his heart and trust me when I say I felt guilty about it. I couldn't stop thinking about it, thinking about him, so once I caught Idriss and asked about him. He told me a lot I didn't know, maybe made me feel a little more guilty. But I understood I had to talk to Eliott, so once I found him in the studio and tried to explain to him. He only told me he needed a little more time..and here I am, I guess."

"Well, that sucks," Arthur speaks into the silence that found its place in the room. "It sucks like a lot."

"You tell me about it," Lucas sighs and drops his look on his shoes this time. "I am lost. I don't know what to do."

"If there really is something to do about it," Basile says with such simplicity, almost makes Lucas believe it is easy when he is sure that it is not. How can something you think about constantly, nights and days be easy?

"Yeah," Yann nods his head in agreement, completely surprising Lucas, who throws confused look his way. "I mean, you can't speak for him, no?"

"Well, no.."

"There! Just...stop thinking about him so much. If he will come around, he will come around. If he won't, he won't. You'll survive," Lucas wants to roll his eyes and sigh at Arthur's words.

"It's easy for you to say. It's not that simple. It's..yeah, it's a little more difficult," Lucas says slowly, still not looking up from his new favorite place - his shoes.

"I know it is," Arthur adds nonchalantly. "But you're not going to receive anything from your constant moping either."

Lucas knew he was right. However, at the moment he felt like there wasn't anything to do about it.

***

Even after his constant growling and refusing, the boys eventually made him go to the party they wanted to go since forever. Lucas hadn't felt like partying since what happened almost three weeks ago with Eliott. He wasn't in the mood for getting drunk or getting himself laid for a night, then saying goodbye.

Also, he won't make out with Eliott no more, so where was fun in parties now? It walked away, just like he did on that night. Or any other night. Fuck, he really was an asshole, a heartless moron, wasn't he?

Lucas was screaming internally for help as he was leaning on the wall, in the dark corner of the room. He was watching his friends drinking tequila shots, trying to get him to drink with them, but he wasn't in the mood for it. He told them that earlier and stepped in the counter, where he stayed for a while.

He was bored and still moping about Eliott, thinking about him, thoughts only torturing and hurting, kind of knowing he will be let down by the boy. Why would he want to date him after all that happened, after all he made him go through? 

Suddenly, he could use a drink or two to ease himself, to get himself in the party mood. He will black-out sooner or later, waking up hours later in the place unknown to him, with a Sahara desert in his throat. But everything was better than that instant guilt and self-pity.

"Is this place taken?" a voice asks, a voice he knows by heart and, as dramatic as it sounds, the world around him stops spinning. Lucas is out of breath when he turns his head to his right side and sees Eliott. Smiling Eliott. What?

"There - uh, there is no place here, so it can't be taken," he replies softly, Eliott grins and moves closer.

"However, if you think it's possible or not, the place is definitely taken right now," Eliott exclaims, still grinning. Lucas thinks he can feel his legs weaken.

"Okay," the respond leaves his mouth again, trying to talk as much as he can, foolishly scared Eliott will leave if he won't.

They are quiet for a little while, then after a minute or two lasting silence Eliott breaks it. "They are your friends, aren't they?" the boy asks, his voice so gentle as he points to the boys, who are trying to smoothly stare at them. Little do they know they aren't smooth at all. "They are cool," he exclaims when he sees Lucas nod.

"I met them a little while ago," he adds again. "They were really nice. Basile mostly, who is the only one I remember the name of. And that's only because he hugged me when he was drunk and refused to let go."

"Damn," Lucas exhales, chuckling a little. "Basile is a mess when he gets drunk. And it's even worse when he is stoned."

Eliott chuckles as well, making Lucas add a little to his speech. "You're laughing now, but try to be the one who was trying to convince him he wasn't in fact a, and now I'm quoting him, bird that is free and can fly high. He was standing on the window by the way - yes, it was only a first floor, but still." 

The boy laughs again, turning his head to look at him. Lucas can feel his stare, but he can't return it, not now when he is so confused about everything that's happening.

The silence was getting uncomfortable, so Eliott had to step in again.

"I know you're waiting for my answer," Eliott says with a small voice. "But there is a lot you have to hear first. Okay?"

Lucas looks at him, giving him a nod. i'm about to get rejected, i can feel it. He tries to tell himself that no, no Eliott wouldn't do it, but how is he supposed to know that?

"First, you have to count on my mental illness too," his voice is still small, as he was ashamed, making Lucas confused, frown beginning to make itself appear on his face. "It won't be easy with me. You want to jump right in it with me, but I'm not sure if you thought about everything else that includes being with me."

"Like what?" Lucas asks, his voice small now too, he is so scared of getting rejected he almost could hear his heart pounding.

"Like, I won't be nice to you sometimes. I will yell at you, I will blame you for stupid things, I will leave when I feel bad. Sometimes I won't even leave the bed, I will just stay in all day and I will hurt you. Do you seriously want all this?"

Lucas inhales a shaky breath. "Have you looked at what I did to you? How I was ignorant about your feelings because I was scared? A coward, who was afraid to be himself?"

"That's not the same and you know it. Lucas, it's okay to be scared and I get it now. I was hurt for a long time, but I get why you were acting like it. And I don't blame you and I'm not mad at you for any of that, okay? So, I think it's time for you to stop guilt-tripping yourself over this, too," Lucas feels a hope creeping in himself again, it almost leaves when he sees Eliott's face again.

"But what I will do to you will be much worse. I will hurt you. Do you really want it?"

"Do you?" Lucas asks and talks over Eliott sooner than he gets a chance to say anything else. "No, but really, do you want this too? Eliott, I'm not perfect either. I will do so many wrong things too. I will get mad, I will give you the silent treatment, maybe at some point I could hurt you again. I'm so full of flaws too. But, still, we don't know what will happen in the future."

Lucas moves even closer to him. "We don't know what will happens in years from now, in months, hell, even in an hour from now. But what would be life about if we had to worry about every passing minute? Life is now. And really, is it really right to throw a whole relationship away because of a few 'what if's? Maybe this will prove to be a mistake in the future, but it doesn't have to. There are so many possibilities that could happen to us. The bad ones are in balance with good ones, because we don't know what will happen. So, I suggest we could live life minute by minute. That way, we won't worry about anything, but the minute we live in."

Eliott smiles at him, but hell, Lucas has never seen him smile like that. It was so charming, so lovely, but all in all, so Eliott. He looks like the boy Lucas fell in love with when he wasn't even aware of it.

The kiss he receives is surprising, and at the minute he doesn't kiss back. Sooner than he can return the kiss Eliott pulls away and smile at him again. 

Lucas is aware of the blissed-out face he is making. "You didn't answer  my question. My very, very important question," he whispers, so close to Eliott he could feel his breath on his face.

When he kisses him again Lucas is ready to kiss back, but the kiss is over sooner than Lucas could do that. "Isn't that enough of an answer for you?"

Lucas pretends to think about it while he sneaks his hands around Eliott's neck. He looks back at him, smirks at him and kisses his lips again. He has to stand on his tip-toes to do so, hating Eliott a little for his height, now not denying any kisses to himself. "I guess it is," he whispers against his lips, leading back to leave a kiss on his lips again.

But this kiss feels different than any other ones they shared. It was the kiss he was denying himself for so long, the kiss that won't lead to sex, the kiss that showed the pure affection and love. Besides, Eliott didn't pull away after ten seconds, which he considers a win. Eliott appears to be a tease, but he let Lucas have this kiss.

#skam france #elu #elu fic #skam france fic #eliott demaury #lucas lallemant #another (and the last) part of this disaster #hope y'all enjoy #also i had shit-tons of mistakes in the first one but now it's edited

[franklyshipping]

A Crushing Crush ~ A Markiplier, Jacksepticeye and Crankgameplays Ego Fanfic

Okey dokey sooooo this is based off a lovely prompt from @amazingmsme regarding how a poor Blank feels like he's blown his chance at flirting with Bim and ends up despairing to Anti....and the glitch has a good idea on how to stop him moping. LET'S BEGIN!

TAGGING: @corrup-switch-blank @ticklee-trimmer aaand @anti-switch-glitch

Romance....is a challenge. It really is. Finding the right words, the right gestures, the right damn expression to wear as you say the right joke at the right time. To those who are inclined with romance and flirting, I think you can all agree that it is a rare occasion when it works seamlessly. In fact it hardly ever happens. Whoever is involved will always be a flustered, cheesy, overthinking mess of a human filled with frustration, yelling at themselves in their brains and insulting themselves because nothing seems to be working. Which is entirely normal when you're crushing hard on someone, like Blank was currently. Another thing about having a crush on someone is that you want to be around them, but don't want to force your company on them for fear of them finding you clingy and annoying....so you find the safe, but slightly creepy, middle ground of lingering. Blank was hovering in the doorway to the kitchen, fiddling with his flayed hoodie sleeves as his eyes flicked around the room....before fixing on one person. Bim Trimmer.

To the rest of us who simply like him, the sight of him sitting at the counter and sighing contentedly into a fresh cup of tea would have probably given us an empathetic sense of calm and relaxation, and made us think oh hey! I'd like hot drink right about now because I have been inspired by this hereby human! Not Blank. Blank was infatuated and melting inside at how the tenseness of Bim's shoulders melted away as he had his tea, and how as he drank he developed a small, but clearly happy smile. Blank wondered if Bim would ever smile at him like that, or if one day he'd look at Blank and feel relaxed and safe. I bet you thought some creepiness was going to interject Blank's thoughts here didn't you? That ain't how a crush works. A crush is noticing the smaller things about a person that they probably don't notice themselves, but to you they are the most beautiful and defining things of that person. It's so stressful. Blank's fidgeting was an outlet for that stress as he tried to figure out how to articulate his existence to Bim....so he greeted him.

'Hey Bim....'

Bim jumped and let out a yip as he whirled round in his seat, before placing a dramatic hand on his chest as he smiled broadly at Blank.

'Oh lordy, you made me jump there! You're like a little phantom!'

Ohhh god. Bim had a habit of giving people random pet names and it was one of the things about him that made Blank's system erupt into butterflies, but not only that....he'd given HIM one! Blank was silent for a moment, taking in Bim's smile as his mind repeated; don't lose composure sort yourself out reply reply reply-

'Oh, heh, s-sorry about that, I guess I am kind of a creeper....'

He looked down bashfully....oh if only he knew how Bim's eyes had softened so affectionately. Blank soon looked back at him when he spoke in a broad, loud, energetic tone of voice.

'You are nothing of the sort! Come on join me, how are you doing? What's your day been like?'

His day had mostly been spent bribing each and every Google in order to persuade one of them to hack into the filming schedule for Bim and Wilford's collaborative TV show so he could know Bim's scheduled breaks and thus plan flirtatious advances. It had been busy. However, as every embarrassed crusher does when posed with such a question from their love interest, he hesitantly sat down and shrugged.

'Eh, not much has happened really, how about yours?'

Blank's mind whispered ''coward'' as he focused his gaze on Bim, who launched into a passionate babble concerning set and interviews and something called a ''damn bubble-gum co-worker with a murdering hobbie''. Of course, Blank listened, wanting to catch every detail in case it became important in later conversations; romantic advances are the most complex rpg's, I guarantee it. Blank's focus however, was not just on Bim's words....but on Bim's entirety. The way his eyes shone when he mentioned an idea that had been approved, the way wrinkles in his forehead appeared when he talked about technical mishaps, but most of all the gestures and constantly changing tone of voice that came hand in hand with his vibrant, passionate nature. He loved his work, and that made Blank love it; whatever made Bim happy, made Blank happy. Blank had noticed that as he listened, his jaw had slowly started to drop open, so he snapped it shut as Bim concluded.

'-and so I'm relying on my sweet green tea to boost me for the next four hours, basically!'

Bim exhaled with a grin as he took a pointedly large gulp of the drink, making Blank fail to withhold a soft smile. Whenever he rambled it was so adorable, he was just so enthusiastic about everything. However.....Blank had spotted an opportunity....for a flirtation. He straightened up, and casually leant his elbow on the table as he smiled at Bim and spoke in a tone of voice that was lower than his usual register.

'Wow, you definitely sound like you deserve that tea. Sweet tea is very appropriate too in my opinion; hot sweet tea for a hot sweet man.'

Blank's heart was almost beating out of his chest as he tried to stop his voice from cracking, and he actually succeeded. Phew. His heart leapt when Bim's eyes widened and he let out a little giggle, oh gosh the dimples the dimples. Bim was smiling, his eyes sparkling from behind his spectacles as he replied in a lower tone of his own.

'Ahaaww Blank, you are way more kind than people give you credit for!'

Don't. Fucking. Blush. Blank couldn't stop himself from smiling giddily but he'd be damned if he lost control of the blood flow to his face. He cleared his throat softly and bashfully ran a hand through his jet black unruly hair, he hadn't done anything to neaten it up today....guys liked unruliness right? That's what all the TV shows depicted. Blank replied with a half-bashful half-smouldery grin.

'I uh, w-well I enjoy....being kind....'

To you. Blank it's two extra words, two syllables, you don't even have to move your mouth that much! Somehow though, in the face of specificity, Blank's vocals decided this would be the perfect time to freeze up. Bim didn't seem to notice, simply leaning forward and playfully squishing Blank's cheek as he teased.

'You're such a cute sap!'

Blank was literally frozen in place. Bim was touching him Bim was touching his face with his actual hand....dammit he was blushing. Blank was holding his breath too, even as Bim retracted and glanced at his watch; but then he let out a groan and a sigh.

'Dammit that break went quick, they always do. I have to dash, I'll see you around my little phantom!'

He chuckled as he slid from his seat and left the room with the rest of his tea in hand. Blank was just still and silent. He was like that for a few minutes, until he slowly but surely raised his hand and brought it to his cheek, softly tracing the place Bim had touched as a dazed smile rose up on his face; but then he frowned. He stood up and approached the fridge door....and started lightly banging his head against it.

'Stupid. Idiot. Why. Can't. You. Flirt. Properly?!'

He let out little frustrated grunts and whines as he maintained his self-deprecation with a lot of enthusiasm; five minutes later, that's how Antisepticeye found him. The glitching man stood in the doorway with folded arms and an amused grin in place, he waited before entering and teasing in a blasé tone.

'Jeez man, what did the fridge ever do to you?'

Blank's reply was extremely detailed and encased in the most descriptive vernacular, wherein he turned to Anti, scowled, pulled his hood up over his face and traipsed to the neighbouring lounge where he could flop unceremoniously onto the couch.

'Go. Away.'

Anti snickered and rolled his eyes as he followed Blank without question, and proceeded to sit on his legs as soon as he'd flopped onto the couch. Anti was grinning amusedly, since he knew all about Blank's pining; he found it sickeningly cute.

'Why so grouchy? Is your unnoticed fawning gettin' ya down?'

Blank let out a huff, feeling uncomfortable on his front so he shuffled onto his back, a solid frown in place. Anti observed Blank, and he couldn't help but feel bad for the guy, because he knew he was trying to try his best. He could see the forlornness in Blank's expression, as well as self-directed annoyance and frustration; Anti didn't know much about wooing but he knew that any expression other than that was bound to work better in the scheme of things. Anti gave one of Blank's legs a shove as he tried to muster up a....positive tone of persuasion?

'Well you definitely won't be able to flirt right if you're moping here, c'mon I bet you'll be able to catch him before his next bout of filming!'

Blank glanced at Anti, sighing a little; he appreciated that Anti was trying to help, but it really wasn't working for him. He didn't feel like there was any point. He was trying so hard and yet nothing was coming from it, he wanted to be bolder but how could he do that without making Bim uncomfortable, obligated or overwhelmed?

'There's no point, I've tried everything, don't waste your breath Anti-'

'Oi! If ya start thinking like that ya won't stop! I will help your gay ass out even if I have to use force....'

Anti trailed off with a cheeky, menacing smile.....which Blank merely scoffed at. Anti was slightly taken aback; Blank must really have lost hope if he had the nerve to scoff at a threat from Antisepticeye. Blank was about to roll back onto his stomach in an attempt to escape Anti's convoluted attempt at help, before he suddenly felt the glitch scoot on top of him and settle on his thighs. Blank gritted his teeth, tugging at his legs and letting his eyes flick to pitch black as he growled.

'Anti I am warning you!'

It was Anti's turn to scoff as he donned a smirk, his own eyes flicking to a deep, endless black that seemed to coincide with his own growl; but his was deeper, more used, more threatening.

'Oh please, I practically invented the soulless eye trick so don't think you can surpass me. Now, you've got one last chance. Come with me to Bim, or I will make you.'

Blank couldn't ignore the chill that went down his spine....he knew a genuine threat when he heard it, and the fear of the unknown was pounding in his chest. He couldn't do it though; he really felt there was no chance for his affections to come to anything now. He was firm as the black from his eyes dimmed and his irises turned to look at the floor.

'No.....it's pointless Anti, just accept it.'

Anti couldn't help but feel disheartened.....Blank really did believe that. He wasn't going to let that halt him though; Anti always was a determined bastard. He let his smirk widened as his eager fingers twitched.

'Sorry, but the only actually pointless thing here is your cute attempt at defiance.'

Before Blank could retort, he jumped with a gasp. Oh he wouldn't....oh he wouldn't dare, would he? Yep oh shit he was he really was. Blank's lips trembled as he hurried to hug his torso, but Anti's fingertips had already found his ribs and were scratching away with a terrifying determination. Blank squirmed about and tried to keep quiet, but soon any toughness had just....melted away; one of the best perks of ticklishness in my opinion, it even brings down the strongest we have to offer.

'I-It ihis n-not cute! S-Stohop this Antihi s-stop ihit!'

Each syllable was sharp from Blank's lips as he tried to contain his mirth, but as we all know, when one giggle escapes they all do; and he'd already let out quite a few. Anti grinned excitedly as he scratched harder.

'Oh of course! I'll happily stop.....if you go and see Bim that is.'

Blank rapidly shook his head as his lips stretched more into a grin and giggles took over his vocals, he tried to let out a threatening snarl as he glared up at Anti; although the latter would argue later that it was way more of a pout.

'Noho wahahay! Ahanti Ihi swehear you ahare fohohor ihit once thihis ihis ohoveheher!'

Anti narrowed his eyes and cocked his head to the side, before his scratches morphed into scribbles and ruthless pinches as he cooed teasingly.

'I'm sorry what was that? Was that a threat thing? You know those automatically make tickle torture worse right?'

Blank wasn't sure what it was that brought a grey-misted red tinge to his cheeks, whether it was the increased intensity or the nonchalant, malicious tease; all he knew was, he was pretty damn flustered. He writhed under his tormentor as he hit out and yelled defiantly.

'Thihis ihis sOHO DUHUMB LEHET ME GOHOHO!'

Anti snickered as he dug into the ribcage before him, casually working his way further and further up whilst he sneered cheekily.

'It isn't dumb if it works-'

'IHIHIT IHIHISN'T!'

Anti raised an eyebrow at Blank brazen interruption, and relished in the smaller man's shiver when he leant closer to him. His lips quivered and his head jerked threateningly, glitching with new ferality as he spoke.

'Isn't it? That's funny, because from my perspective....'

Blank let out a howl of laughter as Anti's finger's forced themselves into his sensitive armpits, scratching away as Anti whispered.

'....it feels like those bitchy defiant walls of yours are just crumbling away.'

Blank was thrashing with an agape mouth and wide eyes as jolts of ticklishness surged through his body; he was barely touched normally by people, let alone tickled this intensely! His nerves weren't used to it, which made Anti's teasing statement all the more accurate. Much to his inner embarrassment, the begs flew from his lips before he could stop them.

'NAHAHAHAT AHAHANTI ANTIANTIANTI C'MOHOHON PLEHEHEHEASE!!'

Anti could not have grinned wider if he tried. He kept scratching and let out a satisfied hum, the whacking and batting he was receiving at his chest not even phasing him as he cooed in a reprimanding tone.

'None of this would be happening if you weren't such a little brat y'know, if you'd accepted my help in the first place ya could have avoided this!'

Blank let out a loud whine as he thrashed, cheeks filling with more colour as his energy really started seeping from him; the tickling was doing a good job of draining him. Through his light hysteria though, Blank did see Anti's point; he was offering him help at the point where he needed it....but there was still a strong pessimist within him. A strong part of his mind emphasising how it was pointless, hopeless, persuading away any optimism; that was the part that cried out now.

'BUHUHUT IHIHIT'S UHUSELEHESS AHAND POHOHOINTLEHESS!!'

Blank's cry was desperate, and Anti pursed his lips when he saw the mirthful tears starting to build at the corners of his eyes; the glitch reluctantly relented, for now at least. Despite the silliness of his technique, the whole scenario did make him....sad. Anti cared for Blank like a brother and seriously wished there was a way to carve out that unpleasant pessimism once and for all so that Blank wouldn't have to be tormented by those constant doubts and arguments. He watched Blank catch his breath, and gritted his teeth when he saw the forlorn glimmers that still existed in his eyes. Anti may not have had an instant fix, but he WOULD help Blank one way or another. He let out a purposefully loud sigh as his fingers trailed absently down Blank's torso, and his tone of voice was deep and solemn.

'It really isn't, yeah it's tough and hard work and sometimes it can be crappy when your efforts don't seem to change shit. But that's why when results do come, and trust me they do, they're all the more fucking brilliant! C'mon, ya can't tell me that doesn't make you wanna keep trying!'

Blank shivered at the feeling of Anti's tracing, his entire body was rigid in an attempt at self-defence; it was a useless attempt though. Blank had to bite back a snarl, because annoyingly Anti was right. He tilted his head to the side though, pursing his already thin lips into a line as he mumbled shakily; his brain was trying to focus on the sensible reasoning Anti provided, but it still needed a push or two.

'Y-Yeah b-but.....it's more complicated th-than that....'

Anti only felt more confident; the stutters alone proved that he was getting to Blank and making a difference. He just had to persist a little longer, and Anti knew precisely how to do that. He raised an eyebrow as his fingers traipsed down where they teasingly brushed over Blank's prominent hip bones.

'I'll make it simple for ya then shall I? Come with me, and prove my generic words right.....or stay here. All day. Being tickled until you lose your mind.'

Blank gulped, breath hitching when he felt the touch at his hips. He looked up at Anti wide-eyed....he really knew how to threaten. He ended up stammering as his squirms started up again, his voice going a few octaves higher too.

'I-.....I-Ihi c-can't.....'

No sooner had Blank spoken, he'd let out an involuntary squeak before descending into a stream of breathless giggles. Anti's thumbs traced circles round and over Blank's sensitive, delicate hip bones; it wasn't a place of hysteria, but it was more than enough to break him. Anti was grinning as he leant down properly, letting his stubble brush against Blank's ear as he cooed.

'Then that means you'll have to endure this, do you realise that? If you decline now, I'll get to play with your ticklish hips for hour....after hour....after hour. Teasing them in the ways I know turn you into a weak little puddle....'

Blank let out a whimper as he squirmed about, using his hands to cover his face as he giggled and twitched. Dammit fuck dammit why did he have to have a nervous system like this? His face was burning hot as his weak, shivery voice trickled forth.

'P-Plehehease A-Anti....n-nohot thihis notthisnotthisnotthis yohou kn-know Ihi cahahahan't....'

Anti smirked as he softly nuzzled into Blank's neck, relishing in the plethora of true, un-repressed noises that came from his cute little victim. It was really adorable. He purred, letting his sharp teases do the work now.

'I know you can't take it Blanky, and that's why I gotta do it. You know you wanna give in, do anything to make the soft touches stop, do anything to allow your poor nerves some mercy. You know what you need to do Blank.'

Blank let out a desperate whine as Anti's thumbs found the bowels of his hips, massaging deep but slow into the bundles of nerve endings tucked away. Blank arched his back, even more so when he felt Anti's diabolical facial hair sending sharp shocks down his spine; Blank knew he was too ticklish to cope any longer, he knew he would give in soon.

'Ohogohod m-mehehercy p-pleaseplease oho plehease! Ihit tihickles s-so b-bahad Antihi i-it tihickles...'

Anti grinned in triumph at the sound of Blank's desperate babbles; he knew he'd won. He directed his nuzzling behind the man's ear as his thumbs maintained their soft, but unwavering, torment. He whispered.

'You know it's over....all ya gotta do is accept it.'

Blank let out a desperate, pleading mewl as he squeezed his eyes shut....then accepted it. Anti was the most malicious, relentless person he'd ever encountered; but he had the right morals which was the greatest, yet most annoying, thing ever. So, Blank succumbed as he shivered and quivered and giggled like a man with no more defences.

'Okahahay o-okahay i-ihi'll d-do ihit! I-Ihi'll tahalk t-to Bihihim agahain Ihi w-will!'

Anti chuckled deeply with immense, smug satisfaction. He was smirking broadly as he reared up and effortlessly slid off Blank's legs, now standing next to the couch and looking down as his slowly recovering victim.

'Damn right you will ya smitten shithead, come on, we've got no time to lose!'

Blank hurriedly sat up and hugged himself, forcing away the residual shivers and chills as he looked up at Anti with trepidation; he couldn't deny he was terrified, but he took a deep breath and nodded.

'Y-Yeah....yeah okay, o-okay fuck it let's do this.'

Anti grinned before grabbing the front of his hoodie and hauling him to his feet, wrapping an arm round his shoulder, and leading him from the room enthusiastically.

'That's the attitude! Right, let's decide your game plan....'

Thus, they headed off. Blank's nerves regarding his crush on Bim hadn't been dimmed, but he couldn't deny he had more sparks of confidence. He wasn't on his own, even if Anti was fixated on saying he should find and kill any enemies Bim may have, he couldn't deny how much he appreciated it and felt better for it. Acting on feelings is a tough beast, but let me tell you, the rewards are wild and worth any damn battles you end up fighting.

FICKIN DO N E WOOP! I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS WOOO LUV YOUS XXX

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