Journal Entry 39
January 20th, 2021
Song of the Day: Keep It Gold by Surfaces
Huh, I blocked him permanently on EVERYTHING and magically I feel loads better. What a shocker?!
I’m kinda concerned why him seeing my stuff affects me so much cause I genuinely do not understand. I guess it disturbs me how he can be so normal about everything like he didn’t even love me at all and our whole relationship was just something to pass time for him until he had a new goal to chase after.
So I mean I can understand why I’m in a lot better mood now. I don’t have to witness him being fine with looking at what I’m doing without his heart sinking like it still does to me.
I just thought of this again, but that tiktok I found a while ago that said “imagine how much more you’re going to love the right person” is definitely something I need to remind myself of.
Being an Oikawa and a Bakugou kin I have this sense of duty to be better than everyone else to compensate for never feeling like I’m enough. My dad said to me last night…. “No one CARES what you’re doing, just do you.” To a normal person this could be hurtful, but to me I felt relieved haha
I spend all this time worrying about what other people think of me instead of what I think of myself. Thats crazy to me. Anyways, I’m going to get better at worrying what I think about myself the older I get.
I have a 5-page essay I have to write today. I’m not excited about it in the slightest. I’m hoping I can whip it out in about 3 hours.
I long for the beauty to grow in my mind, like a sea of flowers in bloom. Then from every breath of thought (that stirs the Sea of Colour), spores shall liberate on that southward breeze. Thereafter, settling on the nib of my pen, to germinate in the page of my earthy notebook.
Only then will I peer with wonderment large in my eyes, and a smile wide on my mouth, at the beauteous words flowering before me.
~ Nick Adigu Burke ~
Sometimes I literally get a pressure in my mind. An aching, so to speak, to write something beautiful. This ache can last for days or even weeks, gnawing at me, until something that I consider to be beautiful is down on my page. When those words have been Liberated, the pressure in my mind releases. When these beauteous words don’t flow, I say I am word constipated. Sorry for the graphic image. 🤣 Although that isn’t strictly true. I can still write. But for that pressure and ache to release, beauty is what I need.
I do sometimes wonder if it’s all worth it. But hey, what am I to do, writing is my biggest passion.
#affirmations #bestfriendsforever #healthyrelationships #relationshipquotes #instapoem #inspirational #inspirationalquotes #innerpeace #friendsquotes #motivationalquotes #motivation #musicquotes #motivate #meditation #mindfulness #peaceandlove #spiritofart
#happiness #lyricist #karma #wisewords #friendsquotes #lovepoem #songwriting #beautifulpoetry #lovepoetry #beinghappy #anger #interracialcouple #artisticprocess (at Holmfirth)
Long ago I was having a discussion with a friend of mine, it was on our life so far. We were sharing incidents and our learning from the event. It is a kind of deep conversation which makes life fulfilled to my mind.
She told a statement which stays with me as a thread since then. “ When in life we have to make choice, check within , is it from the point of love or fear ?”. I found this question extremely deep and profound. Of course , we need to be authentic and naked in that light of the truth to get the true response.
We make choices daily , every moment. Even in this moment the one who is reading this is making a choice. Then when you drill down within you will align your heart with your brain and that will be sheer love. A love which does not expect anything from this reading , the sheer joy of reading will drive you till the end. When one thinks only from brain ( logic) that has imprint from many perspective , the choice is not truly aligned to yourself . There is an ingrain of fear lased in the decision. We find ourselves getting momentary joy and nothing beyond.
For example, when you buy your new car or new home. After few months and may be year , do you feel the same excitement of the possession. Possible answer is no. Material acquisition always gives momentary joy and not happiness. The people with whom one stays or travel irrespective of the house and car is the constant source of happiness in life. So choose wisely. Seed the love and reap the joy.
Life changing decisions mostly made by any individual if one reflects was from point of what is said as “ gut feeling” because logically it does not make sense. They have done something which felt right in that moment and this unknowingness gave birth to the world of possibilities. It opened yourself to what is known as surrender to higher purpose/self. Completely having no point of view whatsoever of being a failure or success.
Only those people who have done this multiple times in lifetime, know that there is nothing called failure. The word failure itself is an incorrect assumption and projection. We read stories of successful people where they have penned down their failures in great lengths. Those perceived failures are the milestone for his present and upcoming life and to the readers a story that gives success the depth. Look into the stories of the people who have eloped and married or lived together , they may not stay lifetime together happy , yet that life decision taken in the moment was enriching and empowering and made absolutely no sense to them or to external world.
“When you open your hand, you can be held by many , the closed hand can never give or accept”. Choose from the point of openness and let go of the closed hand of fear. There is only love in the Universe that thrives, no amount of darkness can exist in that light of love.
Suffering is all around us in the form of rape, poverty, pollution, illness, crime, etc. Yet we are still bothered by same sex couples laying in bed together. If only we were as bothered by real issues plaguing our world, we just might be able to create a Heaven right here on Earth.
If you don’t have an access to the tarot cards and you have playing cards then take notes, because I’ll show you how to read a tarot from playing cards.
♥️(hearts) - heart from the tarot cards means 𝗰𝘂𝗽𝘀. Zodiac signs that stands for the cups(hearts) : 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫, 𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬, 𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨. And the cups(hearts) sign meaning overall is 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆&𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.(1s͟t͟ i͟m͟a͟g͟e͟)
♦️(diamonds) - diamond from the tarot cards means 𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗹𝗲𝘀. Zodiac signs that stands for the pentacles(diamonds) : 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨, 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧, 𝐭𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬. And the pentacles(diamond) sign meaning overall is 𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒉&𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚. (2n͟d͟ i͟m͟a͟g͟e͟)
♠️(spades) - spades from the tarot card means 𝘀𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀. Zodiac sign that stands for the swords(spades) : 𝐥𝒊𝒃𝒓𝒂, 𝒈𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊, 𝒂𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒖𝒔 And the swords(spade) sign meaning overall is 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕&𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒕𝒚. (3r͟d͟ i͟m͟a͟g͟e͟)
♣️(clubs) - clubs from the tarot card means 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀. Zodiac sign that stands for the wands(clubs) : 𝒍𝒆𝒐, 𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒖𝒔, 𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔. And the wands(clubs) sign meaning overall is 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏&𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒕𝒚. (4t͟h͟ i͟m͟a͟g͟e͟)
𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐬 𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐.
Hola a todos es un gusto poder compartir mis pensamientos , frases y además de cositas bonitas para todas aquellas personas que lo necesitan. Me creé esta cuenta para expresarme y para que los demás también lo hagan . Espero disfruten mucho el contenido de este pequeño blog, que lo hice con mucho cariño. Deseo que todos sean muy felices siempre.
„When the power of love overcomes love of power the world will know peace.“
Once during A train travel, me sitting by the window wondering about myself, A boy outside the window was selling water bottles. He asked me to buy a single water bottle with a teary eye and dusty face. I thought to give him some money without buying the water bottle just out of sympathy.
When I offered he refused to take the money and said “kya didi bhik thodi na maang ra hu, mai toh pani bech ke apna pet bharta hu” I was speechless for few seconds than I bought 2 bottles from him and gave him the money. He had a big satisfying smile with the money in the hand and ran away saying thank you didi with a sweet flying kiss.
This moment taught me two things. First, sympathy is not what people want but empathy it is. Secondly, giving him money without buying was hurting his own self-respect and making him low on confidence. I felt him as I was feeling the same at that moment.
My whole journey I thought about the way he stood up for his own self-respect by expressing his point of view. This pushed me one step ahead in building my lost self-esteem.
A very small story but at that time taught me a big lesson. So, Empathy and Kindness (but not weak) is what we need to have a peaceful world..!!💙
How would you feel if you passed away without achieving your goals?
Picture yourself laying in a casket full of untapped potential. Does that imagine make you feel uncomfortable?
Do you plan on hearing job well done from your creator when its all set and done?
Think about the people your purpose is meant to effect, now get to work.
Procrastination is merely the audacity that God will give you another day to get it done. No day is promised, get to your purpose TODAY.
Proverbs 18:16 A man’s gifts makes room for him and brings him before important people.
Hey Alexa, Play Bigger by Beyoncé
Go be Great, Carry On…..
When we experience true silence and stillness, we become liberated from our suffering.
While there isn’t anything we need to do to be who we are, our minds may have become so preoccupied in the world that we have forgotten our inherent peace.
Although this peace is present at every moment in our hearts, we may have covered it up by identifying with the world around us.
Falling in love with silence and stillness is the greatest love human existence can offer. It is a love that heals and is eternally present, making all other forms of love possible.
Hurry. Get yourself one