#people are such dicks

[tens-tense-and-tensed]

hate when i tell people doing something triggers me and then they purposely do it to trigger and when i get mad they say "it's just a joke"

like man i trusted you :/

now i'm just seething in anger and i can't even do anything about it though i would like to plough you through the ground and tear off your limbs :/

#personal #people #people are such dicks #fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you #and if i had any good fucks to give i'd give it to a pig and spit on your face #in front of that pig #so that the pig knows you are a spit-worthy scoundrel #and it never ever tells you which type of soil it feels uncomfortable in #mental health #adhd #stims #i'm just so angry #and uncomfortable i want to scream #and pull my hair out #ugh why don't i have the authority to send people to hell #probably because half the earth would be in hell then because i'm an impatient bitch #ARGDHJFV UGH

[naughtyneganjdm]

Never assume someone’s sexuality. For all people know I could be an ace, bisexual, etc. What a prick. I swear to God.

#bisexual #asexual #people are such dicks #rant #fandom discourse

[gointothevvater]

And anon is off again. 

#people are such dicks #it's ridiculous #personal

[violent138]

League members discussing meeting Robin at work:

"Compared to Bats, Robin was a total sweetheart. Ball of sunshine."

"Man, must've been a good day then, the kid I met was a real anklebiter. He pulled out a sword and everything."

"Anklebiter is harsh, the sweet boy I met barely said a word, he just kept asking about Themyscira and the lasso."

"He? I met a blonde girl."

"No, no, black haired boy with blue eyes. We're talking about Robin."

"Yeah same here, blue eyed and tanned."

"Pretty sure he had green eyes. And talked fancy. And kind of scolded me for time travelling."

"The child I met was paler than the moon."

"I'm telling you I met a girl, and she was Robin."

"Well... either we're all wrong or we're all right."

So they arrive at the conclusion that Bats has a shape-shifter for a kid.

#Not particularly original #however still amusing #They conveniently forget how many years have passed between interactions #And also forget that people can have the same“hero” name #Batman #Batfamily #dc robin #like Red Hood (there was another red hood before that) #Bruce Wayne #Dick Grayson #Jason todd #Damian Wayne #Tim Drake #Stephanie brown #This came to me in a fever dream #jla #justice league

[allthegothihopgirls]

i want to believe that the other batboys get so caught up in how damian NEVER acts like a normal child, that whenever they see him engaging in regular kid activities™ everyone is on high alert whilst trying to preserve the moment.

tim's with kon and they walk past jon's room to see him and damian playing toy cars? they start walking faster until they're a safe distance away, to stop in their tracks and share a mutual "what the fuck???"

jason and damian are arguing, something jason says strikes a nerve, and damian just stops and breaks the stoic act. jason has NO clue what to do with himself, because nothing he's ever said has gotten a non-violent reaction out of the kid.

dick's taking damian to the cinemas, and lets him pick what they watch. damian picks a kids movie, and doesn't make comments about it seeming 'childish' or 'boring', instead he looks genuinely interested. dick goes along with it but is really taken aback.

damian's patrolling with the other boys, and sustains a mild injury. everyone's used to him fixing himself up and never making a big deal out of it. they've seen him break bones and refuse medical attention, mainly because of how the league trained him. so when they get back to the batcave, and are all getting fixed up in the infirmary, everyone's shocked when damian, sitting to the side about to patch himself up, starts crying, because he's exhausted and hurt.

whenever the boys see damian asleep anywhere but his room, they make sure to tip-toe past and tell the others not to wake him. usually when this happens it's because he's been so exhausted, that he's sat down to watch a show, been playing with titus, or doing schoolwork, and he's just fallen asleep in the middle of it. afterwards, dick especially, makes sure that damian's sleeping enough, which is hard, because no one can tell that he's tired until he physically passes out.

#idc that he wants to kill most of the people around him. he's just a little guy #damian wayne #damian al ghul #batboys #batfam #batfamily #robin #the robins #dick grayson #tim drake #jason todd #jon kent #kon el #conner kent #superboy #red hood #red robin #nightwing #dc batman #dcu #dc comics #dc #gothihop speaks

[faeriekit]

"Okay." Danny slowly laid the already cold body back onto the table, ready to slide back it into the refuge of cold storage. "Okay. Dead guy. Stay there."

The body didn't move.

"Fantastic. Now. Hang out while I pour the embalming fluid into the pump, alright? It should only be a minute."

And it usually did; working in a funeral home wasn't extremely glamorous, but it paid the bills, and Danny had already been used to the rhyme and rhythm of negotiating death with the public by the time he sent in his mortuary school application. It had been a transition that made sense. And in the end, the degree had only cost him a few extra years post-graduation and a little dig into student loans, and now Danny had a stable 12-8 job and health insurance valid in the state of new jersey.

Today, though, the pump had that decided enough was enough. With a bang and a boom, the pump spat out a cloud of smoke and clunked uncomfortably.

The dead body sat up.

Danny scrambled over to push it back down. "No. We talked about this. Dead people don't move. If you want to stay here and have me put you back together all the time, you have to stay put. Got it?"

Whatever the weird gold-eye corpses were on in Gotham, they at least listened to him on occasion. They weren't ghosts, per se— they never pinged on any of the ghost detection devices Mom and Dad had packed in his going-away-to-college bag— but they were, despite being occasionally animate, perfectly deceased.

Weird. Danny had never gotten used to it. Still, they came in droves, too eager to sit on the top of the basement stairwell and lurk in the corners and stare endlessly at them with their weird, avian eyes, and sometimes they heralded the arrival similarly weird-ass bodies that had lost their heads or their arms or their limbs through the more conventional channels.

"I'm losing too much thread to all y'all coming in all the time," Danny complained to the dead body, who, at the moment, was the only person present to blame. "Stop getting your limbs cut off. This stuff is expensive, you know. It's a specialty order."

The body didn't even have the courtesy to blink. Rude.

"At least let them bury you this time. Every time one of you darts off when my back's turned, my boss thinks I'm stealing corpses. My coworkers think I'm building my own Frankenstein or something."

The corpse neither verbalized nor blinked, but Danny hadn't expected it to; with a sigh, he rolled the corpse back into cold storage, locked its little door (not that locking it in had ever stopped it) and called it quits for the night.

It's not like anyone was paying him for the extra hours anyway.

#I'm very pro Danny accidentally adopts a whole bunch of Talons #people have definitely done it before but this scene came to me in a vision #a horrible caffeinated vision #could absolutely be an excuse for #talon!dick #talons #dp x dc #faer fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #talon!au #dcu crossover #death tw #well. the funeral industry anyway #medical tw #just in case #corpse tw #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #free to a good home

[bruciemilf]

“Bruce is emotionally incompetent and can’t step outside his own morality” yeah it’s a character flaw.

“Dick is extremely stubborn and thinks he’s right all the time” yeah it’s a character flaw.

“Jason has hypocritical tendencies” yeah it’s a character flaw.

“ Tim is entitled and doesn’t think about people when seeking results, and often acts uncaring” yeah it’s a character flaw.

“Damian is rude and bratty” yeah, it’s a character flaw.

Also, some people may not even regard everything listed above as flaws.

Having negative traits allows incredible flexibility within your characters, what makes them intriguing, what makes them easy to relate to. If you want to write people, then write people. But they can’t be good and clean all the time.

#bruce wayne #dc comics #dc #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #I’m really glad we’re growing out of the ‘my favorite is flawless because they’re a good person who has done both wrong ever’ phase #you can absolutely enjoy media that has imperfections and blemishes. these characters should be flawed. they should get to be shitty people #sometimes. they should get a chance to grow and extend and evolve as individuals. because I think that’s what we need to see more #it’s not about being a shitty person. it’s about STAYING a shitty person #text #meta #batfamily

[deadsetobsessions]

Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.

“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”

God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.

Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.

“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”

“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”

“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”

Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.

“What happened?!”

“My word, master Danny!”

“What is it?!”

“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”

Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.

“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”

“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.

“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.

“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”

The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.

“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”

“Danny.”

“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.

“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.

Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.

“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”

Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…

“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”

“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.

“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”

The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.

“Done.”

“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”

“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”

“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”

“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”

“Very well.”

“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.

——

“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”

“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.

“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”

“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”

Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.

“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”

“Tt.”

“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”

#danny phantom #danny phantom is a little shit #dc x dp #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #bamf danny phantom #nightwing #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #Alfred is ninja #Damian is attached #damian wayne #bruce to the GIW: I don’t kill #behind him: a contingent of his pissed off kids #bruce: but they do #danny dropping trauma and lore in one go: lol #Damian’s way of bonding with people is stabbing #Danny’s used to ghostly violence as a way of being a friendly hello #he sees no issues with being stabbed #everyone else not so much

[ethebarbie]

Could be us if you sent me a dm 🤤

#asexual #barbie #transgender love #transgende #trans gay #trans #transgender #lgtbtq #love trans people #meetup #meet and fuck #gay men #trans goddess #gayhot #gay #gay sexy #gay submission #les mis #lgbtq community #love gay #transgenresworld #trans genocide #hot nude #hook me up #sexy content #sexy pose #sexy breast #sexy crossdressers #sexy cock #i love dick

[charlietheepicwriter7]

The Joker was apprehended, sitting on the ground as Batman guarded him, but the kid--"Bruce Wayne's newest ward, how tragic! Hehehe!"--was nowhere to be found. Nightwing and Red Hood desperate searched the warehouse until a shuffling noise grabbed their attention.

A kid, black haired just like the kid in the Joker's broadcast, crawling out of a pile of boxes. "Is it over?" the boy asked quietly.

Nightwing guided him to the only exit, unfortunately walking past the boy's own kidnapper. "Yeah, kid. It's over. Come on-"

Like a shot, the boy rushed the Joker and kicked him right in the balls.

The Joker wheezed like a dying squeaky toy. Red Hood froze. Nightwing immediately snatched the boy up by the armpits, but all that did was give the boy the height to attack again, punting Joker in the jaw. The clown went down and cracked his head on the floor. He did not get back up.

There was a moment of silence before Red Hood roared with laughter, his helmet distorting the sound.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp crossover #c: danny fenton #c: dick grayson #c: jason todd #c: bruce wayne #c: joker #dp x dc prompt #it's ambiguous on purpose but I originally intended for Danny to be deaged? but some people don't like that so it's only implied #Jason hasn't laughed that hard since he died #nightwing is mostly just horrified that he let danny that close to joker to begin with #batman is like “hnn” >:( #why didn't danny escape? its your decision #are his powers not working? #is the joker a ghost he's trying to capture? #is he a hero fanboy who wanted to see the gotham knights in their natural habitat? #whose to say? :)

[marshmallow---pillow]

Murderer: Run if you want to live

Literally any Batkid: *starts sprinting*

Murderer: Like not towards me tho

#jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #damian wayne #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #They're in civies btw #for people who're running low on imagination #dc #batfam #Kay's funnies

[pinkdean]

#to the people who insist on adding stupid shit to this post: #choke on dean's gay dick 🩷

[clownoverrat]

"please learn about my disorder so you understand why I react the way I do" and "my disorder is not an excuse to be an asshole" should co-exist and people should understand the difference

#im overstimulated and want to be left alone and trying so hard to not be mean about #but the people i have to be around dont understand that im overstimulated and think im being a dick by asking them to stop asking me #the same question 5 times #uuewgahahff #chem.txt

[allthegothihopgirls]

you'd think dick would be the renowned 'biter' of the batfam from his early days as robin, frequently biting attackers when not really necessary. then jason comes along and is 10x worse, doing it purely for his own amusement.

you think, surely the next one won't want to bite people for fun, and you're right, tim bites people as a defence mechanism instead.

by the time the 4th one comes around, it's statistically impossible for him to be a biter, but low and behold, damian's worse than all three of the previous boys combined. the cherry on top is that unlike the others who only bit for fun, as an attack, or as self-defence, never multiple, this one's standard reaction to anything is to bite it.

#idk if any of them apart from damian actually bite people #so don't be the canon police i beg #it's all inside my head #batfam #batboys #batfamily #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #robin #the robins #nightwing #red hood #red robin #dc batman #dcu #dc comics #dc #batman #gothihop speaks

[plaguedocboi]

I still think about the time months ago I was advertised a book that was being marketed as a “queer horror retelling of Moby Dick” like. Girl. I don’t think you have any business “retelling” a story if you clearly don’t even know what the original story was about.

#like I’d argue the three main things Moby dick is about is whales horror and gay people #so what did you add to this retelling exactly #less whales?

[rorimoon9597]

Jason lay on the ground with Dick and Tim in a circle, their heads in the center. A bag of Skittles was passed around, and it took a small amount of effort to not choke on the candy.

"What if I started my own drug empire?" Jason asked randomly.

"I'd use the basement in Drake manor for that," Tim replied in equal serious measures.

"Why?" Dick asked, genuinely curious.

"It's dark, and large. No one has a reason to go down there, either. You could make and store a lot of drugs in there. Then I'd hand them out to the socialites of Gotham because hen I can over price the drugs and get more money."

"Would that even work?"

"The rich haven't been subjected to many good dealers. If you can get them the drugs they want, then they won't sell you out, and you can scam them without making it seem like a scam."

"You've thought this out, haven't you?" Dick asked.

"I consistently walk a tightrope of Hero and criminal. I could easily fall into the criminal side of things if I wished."

"You're unhinged," Jason commented off-handedly. He grinned. "I like that."

"Thank you." Dick made a noise of concern. "You literally killed the Joker because he boasted about killing Jason then threatened to kill me, Dick. Don't act like you're normal either."

"He became Robin to get revenge on his parent's murderer," Bruce said as he passed by his three sons.

"And you're a fucking furry," Jason muttered under his breath, just loud enough for his siblings to hear.

They promptly broke into laughter.

#give me unhinged Tim Drake content #he's unhinged #why do people forget that #tim drake #red hood #red robin #jason todd #dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #batfam