#probably makes me more mentally ill or smth

[alligaytorswamp]

Im kind of feeling like i can't take it anymore

#vent #bad sad sleep-deprived and mentally ill #i am currently crying myself to sleep just fucking sobbing because everything hurts #my brain is failing me my body us failing me #i dont know what to do with myself #so many things are happening so many things hurt and i have no body to talk to #i have never felt so utterly alone #i hate myself for even writing this because i feel so pathetic and as if im just whining for attention #because i probably am #some lame ass cry for help because i really don't know how to function at this point #truly i am just so fucking alone #and there is just so much that is happening and i cant share it with anyone so it just all stays in my stupid brain and #probably makes me more mentally ill or smth #and for however long all i do is keep myself from crying during the day bc i cant let my family catch me having mental breakdowns #yet i have all of these painful thoughts that are plaguing my mind all the fucking time #i am just so so tired #and i keep thinking about death and it's so fucking scary #i just wish i wasn't myself and i had a different brain i could be better than this because maybe then i would be fine #at home im in toxic hell #in online spaces i have no one actually close to me #in my brain i have horrible thoughts and hardcore daydreaming distactions that dont fix anything #in my course i think im not doing well enough and im scare dthat my the end of it im still going to be a useless unemployed moron #on my silly blog i think if i dont make content i have no value and ehatever i make is not even that good or interesting #so i better cover it up with quantity but i dont have time or ability to do so #which again makes me into a fucking Nothing #god my head hurts so much #that's what u get for wailing at 4 am #anyways i am doing horrible and i can't take it anymore truly reaching my fucking limit #all my fault tho so ☺ #delete later and if someone actually reads it Um sorry for this i am hashtag unwell 😋💫

[vvanessaives]

thinking about tattoos for vesper (besides the ones she has in game so like the base game snake + the stars under her right eye + the moons on the back of her neck), i have a simple idea: the name of her first gf, vittoria, the daughter of her boxing coach, she got it tattooed along her left collarbone bc well name of her girl + vittoria in italian means victory so like win-win u know? and then the tricky™ one: the pergamon altar has a beautiful frieze in high-relief with scenes of gigantomachy and one of the scenes has athena crowned victorious by nike while she's hurtfully holding back alcyoneus by his hair, i think vesper would have smth like this or that has the same concept along her sides or probably back just bc 1. the athena/nike thing 2. i am personally obsessed with it (disgusting art history student) and my ocs are my playthings. and then we have the tattoo related to boxing: i'm still thinking about it tbh, i know she has one but i'm still letting the wheels twist and turn in my brain

#rena.txt #vesper being like vittoria bc i'm always WINNING i'm making out with victory every time i get on the ring and also thats my gf and i'm #making out with her too :) AKFJAKFKSCS here we are talking of 18 y/o ves which is a funky little angry version of adult vesper #they broke up in the end but nothing dramatic. just took different roads but they are still friends <3 #i'm brainstorming more about vittoria could be interesting 👁️ #but ANYWAYS back on tattoos. i actually think she would get some nonsensical ones and probably ended up sharing a dumb tattoo with fenix #oh probably one for jackie too i feel :(( I'M THINKING. she doesnt give me the vibe of a all tattooed body but yea. #also i say this while i pretend i still dont have to learn how to make mods for this game 🤡 skfkslf one day or maybe never i will get to #it but for now i'm too busy and mentally ill to start looking into smth i'm not instantly good at. yea we are doing that bad besties #oc: vesper

[evandore]

i am fighting and clawing my way out of this depressive low i swear to god !!!

#rewiring my brain or smth idk. im figuring stuff out to get more productive man. im making this shit happen #and by that i mean whenever i have a breakdown and feel like not doing everything i completely reorganize all my files and then start workin #again LMAOOOO ive done this three times. today was the hardest but i took a couple hour drive with my dad first before coming back to it #so from now ill probably force myself to go on a walk if it gets bad again. #at least im beginning to realize that im not necessarily a chronic procrastinator. i just needed to figure out strategies around doing what #needs to be done. #that two week period between when i was hypomanic and now was rlly good cause i was normal and still working well. proud of realizing that #i feel like i keep up this mentality man maybe things will get better. even if my brain tells me otherwise

[bitchstrologyyy]

astrology observations from my notes lol

- if you have mars in 3H, you probably hang out with your siblings a lot or your siblings play a big role in your life

- mars 3hers also tend to be the eldest child in their family too

- is it just me or have i noticed that venus-ruled signs (libra and taurus) placements are the type to bring perfumes, small hair combs, gum, and etc with them? i’ve noticed this alot with the libra and taurus suns at my school, ESPECIALLY LIBRAS! they’re always taking care of themselves, and they care a lot about their physical appearance

- those with aries + taurus placements in their charts tend to be apart of the lgbtq+ community, or they’re comfortable with their sexualities

- negative moon-pluto (square, opposition) indicate a controlling, obsessive, unstable or mentally ill mother. the mother could’ve been secretive or prone to paranoia. especially moon square pluto!!

- negative sun-pluto (square, opposition) indicate problems with father or in the family

- virgos make amazing artists and writers. they also have a “dark” way of thinking— stephen king, tim burton, hajime isayama. very creative people

- if you’re an aries sun or have aries placements, you may like the blood aesthetic or the idea of ‘blood’ because mars rules ur sign. mars rules war, blood, anger, sex, energy, and action

- aries moons don’t get mad easily, and i feel like they’re very levelheaded when it comes to difficult situations. it takes a lot for them to get mad usually. HOWEVER they get irritated/annoyed over trivial things easily. for example, they’re trying to microwave food but the microwave isn’t working and they get mad ;-;

- taurus-scorpio axis means being materialistic and wanting things from other people/befriending other people if YOU get something out of it

- aquarius men tend to be incels, or they go through this yucky phase where they are incels 🤢

- aquariuses are on the internet too much lol pls go touch grass ty

- sagittarius placements tend to be mixed or there’s smth “exotic” abt you

- people love shit talking about leo women even if a leo woman has done nothing

- tw: autism, neurodivergence (?) im not trying to diagnose anyone or anything, but i’ve noticed that virgos tend to be neurodivergent or they’re more inclined to having autism. they might’ve had a family member who was on the spectrum as well

- scorpios are MAGNETIC. they attract a lot of people and have w rizz game

————————————————————————

these are my personal opinions/observations btw

#astro observations #astrology #astrology observations #scorpio #aries horoscope #aquarius #virgo zodiac #leo zodiac #sagittarius #astro posts #astro notes #astro placements #astroblr #astro chart #libra zodiac #taurus #zodiac #horoscope

[razorspidey]

intro ⋆ READ B4 INTERACTING ⌁

my name is ajax/reo (you can call me either of those names) my pronouns are he/xe i am a minor (i'm 4teen) and i used to be @spinnspidey and @radiospidey and @knifespidey (that was the more known one) but i got t worded (again...). to whoever got me t worded, block dnt report. thanks!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა yeah so heres my intro. i'm a little bit of a weirdo if i do say so myself and i'm heavily tumblr obsessed so yeah i'll be on here nd i'll probably post a lot ^^ i'll post whatever goes through my mind which might be bad so warning on that. i might show symptoms of mental illnesses and if i do then mb idk not really my problem… but heads up i WILL say shit that shows that im not doing great. please do not try to save me or smth. also im looking for friends so bmf i promise im nice. DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT PROMOTE ANYTHING THAT I POST. I AM POSTING AS A WAY TO VENT.

more info + stats under the cut!!! (tw for talking about sh + ed. don't like, don't read.)

sh﹐tw . . . ⋆ i have been cvtting since 2022 ⋆ i have hit styro ⋆ only styro on my thighs ⋆ i am not allowed to cvt anymore (unfortunately) ⋆ i have cvt my thighs, arms, stomach, and neck ⋆ most scars on thighs + arms ⋆ mostly cat scratches ⋆ all scars have healed (or are almost done in the process of healing) ⋆ my parents found out so i can't do it for now... (⇀‸↼‶)

ed﹐tw . . . ⋆ i have always hated my body ⋆ started trying to lose weight january 2023 ⋆ started around december 2023 (probably before, like over the summer but idk...) ⋆ 160 cm (last time i measured myself at least..) ⋆ sw 57.6 kg (bmi 22.5) ⋆ hw 60 kg (bmi 23.4) ⋆ lw 51 kg (bmi 19.9) ⋆ cw 51.2 kg (bmi 20) [will update every morning] ⋆ gw 1 50 kg (bmi 19.5) ⋆ gw 2 45 kg (bmi 17.6) ⋆ gw 3 40 kg (bmi 15.6) ⋆ ugw 38 kg (bmi 14.8) [or lower tbh...]

dni . . . ⋆ basic dni (idrc ngl, do what you want but don't report me thanks) ⋆ judgmental people ⋆ overly sensitive people ⋆ people with mdni on their profile (i am literally a minor.) ⋆ creeps (guess you can interact but i'll ignore you if you say anything weird because one, i'm a minor, and two, i have a boyfriend.) ⋆ nsfw accounts (by this i mean accounts that reblog/post nudes, it's fine if you have some form of nsfw text but images is crazy) ⋆ people who aren't ok w dark topics/get uncomfortable by stuff like that (this is more for you than for me, i dont wanna make anyone upset) ⋆ people who get triggered by talking about sh, ⭐️ving, alcohol, etc… (yes i am aware that it's bad, no don't come to my dms with a savior complex telling me to get help. i'm trying to get help) ⋆ i block freely btw cuz ik a lot of ppl dont respect dni lists + theres people who are unavoidable at times…

byi . . . ⋆ if you interact with me, i might seem excited n stuff ⋆ i might sound like i'm flirting but i'm not (i have a partner and i love them) ⋆ i can make a lot of sex jokes ⋆ i am very immature ⋆ dnt try to "fix" me, i'll probably block you or ignore you ⋆ i'm a little unusual so yeah ⋆ dnt be scared to interact w me i luv talking to peopleヾ(≧∇≦)ゞ ⋆ i am not pro €d or $h i just post about it and my experience…

fandoms . . . ⋆ hypmic (hypnosis mic) ⋆ genshin impact ⋆ paralive (paradox live) ⋆ servamp ⋆ tougen anki ⋆ karneval ⋆ bsd (bungou stray dogs) ⋆ seraph of the end ⋆ litc (lost in the cloud) ⋆ kagerou daze ⋆ the case study of vanitas ⋆ pandora hearts ⋆ enstars (ensemble stars) (i am KIND OF a part of it because my ex filled me up on a lot of lore when we were together…) ⋆ pjsk (project sekai) ⋆ theres probably some others but i forgot…

interests . . . ⋆ vkei ⋆ scene ⋆ anything bloody ⋆ cannibalism (ooh edgy) ⋆ tortures ⋆ psychology ⋆ music (i listen to vkei, scene, metal, etc…) ⋆ vampires ⋆ fanfiction (mostly genshin but other stuff occassionally) ⋆ true crime (im not tcc) ⋆ rarepairs (mostly genshin) ⋆ bats ⋆ writing ⋆ books ⋆ etc… ⋆ btw if youre interested in any of these or are interested becoming friends PLEASEEE message me 🙏🙏😓 im looking for friends pleaseplwaseplease

tags . . . ⋆ i tag all my posts with #razorspidey ⋆ i tag my normal posts with #razorspideys normal posts, meaning they are unrelated to $h and/or €d related things ⋆ i dont have a specific tag for $h/€d/vent related things so beware. i usually put a warning on all my posts like that at the end of the post tho ⋆ i tag my moodboard with #razorspideys moodboards ⋆ i tag stuff about me/my life as #razorspideys diary ⋆ i tag my rants/more serious posts with #razorspidey rants ⋆ block any of those tags or my blog if you do not wish to see it!!!

other links . . . ⋆ fanfic/dead dove: do not eat blog ⋆ poem blog ⋆ carrd

remember!!! block DONT report this blog if you need to ^^ this blog is meant as a way to vent my feelings/talk about my feelings so please don't dm me about how its bad. i am aware.

#razorspidey #intro post #introduction #blog intro #introductory post #pinned intro #introduction post #tw ed but not sheeran #eating disoder trigger warning #tw eating issues #disordered eating mention #disordered eating cw #skinandbones #skinand🦴fightback #skin&bones #skin&🩻fightback #skinand🩻 #💡as a 🪶 #$h tumblr #$hblr #$h tw #$h h4rm #$h vent #s3lf mutilation #i want to cvt #cvtaddict #tw self h4rm #se1f h4rm #tw €d #€d

[starrygetou]

clingy!stsg hcs

bc they make me so severely weak and mentally ill

wc: 590

contents: disgusting amounts of fluff, cockwarming (literally one bullet point), marking (hickies mentioned once)

clingy!suguru loves to carry satoru around their home. even when satoru insists he can walk even after narrowly missed stubbing his toe (he turned on his infinity w/o thinking). he loves to hold him on his hip like a toddler while he cooks them dinner, letting satoru clean the spoons and whatnot as they go.

clingy!satoru loves to wake suguru up with a million kisses all over his face and shoulders. even though suguru sometimes hates it bc satoru is naturally colder, so sometimes his cold hands holding his cheeks wakes him up instantaneously.

clingy!stsg loves gifting gag gifts. suguru isn’t sure how much “i love my boyfriend” merch he has in his closet..probably enough to make a full fit (satoru definitely got him slides w his face on them). they definitely have boxers with each others faces on them and satoru unironically wears his all the time and calls them his lucky boxers

clingy!stsg loves sending each other texts throughout their solo missions. the other always gets nervous when they take a little too long to reply (mainly sugu bc he knows satoru is always deals w curses quickly, so smth HAS to be up).

clingy!satoru definitely loves leaving cute v-mails for sugu. telling him how much he loves him and every detail he loves abt him.

clingy!stsg never get off the phone. they’ll facetime for hours after their away missions, usually falling asleep otp and waking up together.

clingy!satoru loves to sit on sugu’s cock while sugu works on reports. he always tries to get sugu to break but he’s very good abt finishing smth he started (unless they haven’t seen one another in a while).

clingy!stsg on the days they weren’t feeling talkative they just sat on the phone in silence, enjoying the others presence.

clingy!stsg made a mini “rule” where if they both went on away missions, they’d have to go on a date once they got back home. even if it was smth small like coffee the morning after or going out to dinner.

clingy!sugu loves to send sporadic dick pics to satoru. usually in some nice hotel satoru insisted on paying for. satoru always admired how good sugu looked after a shower and how good he was at taking mirror selfies (both in and out of clothes).

clingy!stsg after HI (everything’s okay au) they made sure to check on each other when they started getting sent on more solo missions. always texting status updates, which eventually turned into phone calls/facetimes that started out as a debrief and just turned into one of the calls where they talk about any and everything.

clingy!stsg loves to do everything together at school. they train their students together, make sure their class schedules are planned accordingly so that way they have a little time to themselves. they usually just walk the school grounds or satoru warps them back home for a quickie. the kids are so tired of them sometimes bc they’ll see them go off and do their own thing mid training session.

clingy!satoru loves to show the world his boyfriend. whether that being an arm wrapped around sugu’s bicep in public or leaving a hickey just above his uniform collar line.

clingy!satoru prides himself on being the “independent” one in the relationship, meanwhile when sugu decides to split the errands up when they’re out, suddenly satoru doesn’t know where anything is just so sugu can stay by his side.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #jjk geto #jjk fanfic #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #gojo x geto #satosugu #sugusato #jjk drabbles #jjk hcs #jjk fluff #starrygetou drabbles

[k4katsujin]

random hobie brown headcanons!

all will be sfw the nsfw/spicy ones will be in pink

trying real hard not to delete this acc and kms bc of a sudden trigger

also this won't be proofread because im in the middle of a mental breakdown

he always looks for you when he performs

he's not the jealous "i show everyone who is my lover" type, more like the subtle "let's go" kind in crowded places to yk do unholy things

also small public demonstrations of affection <3 <3

like holding hands, putting his hand on your waist when you walk, small kisses both on your cheek and on your lips, small notes when he wakes up earlier than you since he's yk a spider man

he gave you one of his very own spike bracelets which i feel would be really dear to him

prob made you one esp for you

no matter how your styles differ he will still find a way to have something that reminds him of you on him whether it's a badge, a hair clip or even rings

taking you to the piercer as a first date!!

despite him being an anarchist he's actually very caring

you're sick? fuck capitalism he will make you his own medicine with some of his teas

unrelated but i feel like he's Jamaican or smth wait lemme check

ok i didn't find anything but ill js hc him as jamaican

so like yea when you're sick he makes you jamaican medicine

"take this shortcake! i know it doesn't seem yummy but i promise you'll feel better in a snap after!

you did feel better in a snap

(for fem aligned readers) when you're on your period he turns into the sweetest man ever

sometimes the two of you meet after his concerts - even though that's smth really important for him he makes sure you know you're his actual priority- you go on a rooftop and he tells you about his parents

feeling dysphoric because you're transmasc and on your period ? he makes sure you're the most handsome person he ever knew

when the two of you are doing it, he always makes sure he has your consent before trying anything new - or even before trying anything at all

he's not afraid to admit he's in love with you and he treats you like ROYALTY

you like this specific song? he'll post you to this song and even write love songs for you. remember that specific cat café you mentioned three months ago? he'll bring you there for your birthday.

going nonverbal and being overstimulated? that's no problem for him he'll sit with you in the dark in silence until you feel better.

THIS MAN IS A MAN OF AFTERCARE "you did so well for me darling <3 now what about we get some sweets and cuddle under the stars?"

he's a top most of the but yk he secretly lives when you're in control

HICKEYS HICKEYS HICKEYS ALL OVER YOUR BODY esp on your neck and in between your thighs

speaking of thighs whenever you feel insecure he turns into your girl best friend

having big thighs ? it's more comfy for when he has his head on his lap. big boobs?more comfy for cuddling. no/small boobs? it's ok clothes fit more easily. the list goes on but he always cheers you up.

UNLABELLED THEY/HE HOBIE‼️‼️‼️‼️

p sure he love when you ride him

like you're on top of him in some way but he somehow keeps control

probably likes to asset his dominance by putting a hand around your neck (wdym i don't have a choke kink i do)

BUT HE ALWAYS MAKES SURE YOURE OK THAT MAKES HIM LITTEALLY SM HOTTER OMG

he's always down for ditching class but he somehow has the best grades

which upsets you bc you're the one who always want to ditch class but your grades ain't following

omg it's giving academical rivals au

so like he sometimes comes at your place to help you w the subjects you have trouble with

eventually you end up pinned down on your desk passionately kissing

+ seeing you in a school uniform makes him go feral

fucking you in your school skirt? boy he sure is turned on

quickies in the school's bathroom ? man he loves danger so he's obviously down

+ he loves the way kissing you makes his piercing feel (idk but if i had healed piercings on my lips id love the way it'd feel)

SLOW BURN MAKE OUT SESSION IN THE RAIN

can you tell i love rain? bc i do

he makes sure you feel loved and says it to everyone he knows

"hey that's (reader's name) did you know they're my partner i love them sm"

he notices small habits and picks them up when he misses you (idk how to explain bit for example i sometimes twitch my nose because of my allergies- in that case if you did he would too)

HIGH PATTERN RECOGNITION even though he won't force you to tell him why you feel bad he instantly notices the changes in your behavior

"can you repeat, darling? i didn't hear what you said"

he makes sure you use your words despite you being overstimulated

+ his hands. they make you go crazy.

he's actually a lonely guy, give this poor man a big hug :(

no but fr tho he went through sm his backstory made me cry

OK bit of a vent now🕺🏻 but first tysm for reading ily ! <3 /p

i suddenly lost all motivation to post full fics bc i keep comparing me to others, most well known posters and it really triggers me so i guess i'll make the lonely series go on a hiatus. also working on requests! but it's getting harder to not kms bc of the pressure im putting on myself 🫠

anyhoo, kaheri there,back to dreamland! see you in the next dream! (new outro who dis?)

#x reader #atsv hobie #hobie brown #hobie brown smut #hobie brown x reader #kaheri's chronicles #headcanons #hobie x reader #hobie spiderverse #hobie x you #gender neutral reader #queer writers #writers on tumblr #writers and poets

[floating-above-sea-level]

More SecurityWaiter/DreamTheory headcanons I literally cannot get enough of them (part 2 😋😋😋)

This one is probably gonna be fairly romantic and affection focused cause I have brainrot

-Mike gets flustered so so easily because he’s literally chronically bitchless and this is the first time he’s experienced romantic affection EVER however he’s ALSO horribly oblivious and tired so it takes him forever to process flirting and affection half the time but then when he does he just turns bright red and his brain stops working

-Mike gets so incredibly dazed every time Ness kisses him on the lips. A cheek peck or smth is one thing and it will leave him flustered but any and all genuine mouth kisses leaves him completely speechless for a solid second and Ness thinks it’s the cutest thing ever (because it is)

-I saw that whole “Ness has freckles and Mike likes to kiss/count them” thing but literally shut up it is so the other way around cause Mike literally has freckles and Ness would do that shit and it would make Mike feel so warm and fuzzy and just ashsmskkskdkansjsksksjjs and Ness just thinks he’s adorable (BECAUSE HE IS !!!!!!) /lh

-they are such cuddlers they cuddle so much cause Mike is always so sleepy and Ness just loves playing with his hair and watching him as he looks so peaceful because cuddling with Ness actually helps him sleep and on the somewhat common occasion he starts having a nightmare Ness will gently nudge and kiss him awake and comfort him and then Mike can ACTUALLY GET SOME REST FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE DEAR GOD

-sorry I’m so autism abt these guys

-anyways

-Ness is all abt pet names dear god like Sugar obviously yes but he will literally call Mike anything and everything and Mike will barely pull out a “babe” or a “hon” and that’s like it but Ness is just like “baby, babe, my love, hon, honey, sugarplum, pumpkin, muffin cakes, kitten whiskers, meow meow, pookie, schnookums, puppy, doll, meatloaf, sweetheart, light of my life, I literally love you” and Mike is just like “😦😦😦 wait the fuck did you just call me-“

-they like to hold hands and like Ness is a fast walker so he’ll hold Mike’s hand to help him keep up or if he doesn’t wanna hold hands then Mike will like hang onto his shirt or bag or jacket or whatever else is available so he doesn’t get left in the dust (I’m projecting I’m the short friend who’s love language is physical touch this is literally just me)

-Mike is so physical touch but also gets embarrassed about PDA so he like won’t do much in public but as soon as they get home Mike is like all over him (quite literally like he leans on Ness and cuddles them and shit cause he’s just a little eepy cozy guy) and Ness is more abt the yapping (aka words of affirmation, hence pet names and such) but he also loves physical affection and he knows Mike likes it and it makes him flustered so he’ll purposely play things up and be extra touchy and just ahskslskskdlslsks HELP IM SO AUTISM ABT THESE GUYS

-they are so clingy idc they will text each other for as long as Ness stays up while Mike is working, then they see each other at Sparky’s and Ness forgets they have other tables to worry abt half the time cause they’re so focused on Mike, and then whenever they hang out in private they’re like never more than a few feet away from each other waaaaahhhhhhh

-they both get anxiety when the other doesn’t respond for a while, Mike cause he’s got abandonment/attachment issues, and Ness because Mike is severely mentally ill and him not responding could mean ANYTHING and again they’re also just both clingy asf with each other

-hugs. Such huggers. I know I already said they cuddle but they also hug so so much. Mike always needs a good hug and Ness is more than happy to give him one

-GOD UGH I CANT EVEN

-sorry

-again

-erm

-anyways

-Ness loves playing with Mike’s hair so much. Mike finds it really relaxing and comforting and Ness loves seeing him like that

-they are so so so orange cat x black dog energy GOOD LORD (Ness is the orange cat and Mike is the black dog obviously. Like yes Mike is a soggy cat but he’s also literally just a puppy like look at him)

-I’m being so cringe who let me on tumblr I’m getting too comfortable on here (it gets worse)

-RAAAAAHHHHH

-ok i need to stop before i explode

-I love them sm

-I’m gonna shut up now

-thank you and goodnight

#securitywaiter #dreamtheory #fnaf #fnaf movie #mike schmidt #ness the waiter #mike x ness #ness x mike #headcanons

[ev3rwh0re]

yall i'm literally going to have a meltdown. i js wrote an entire request and i accidentally deleted it. anywho i rewrote it because i liked it but i can’t re-reply to the request so i'm v sorry to the nonnie that requested it

synopsis: Ethan sees your sh scars and comforts you

warnings: mentions of sh, pls don't read if you get triggered easily!

The party was all hanging out in you, Sam, Quinn, and Tara's shared apartment, it was getting pretty hot and you went into your bedroom to find a shirt to change into. You search through your drawers and find a large green tee that belonged to none other than your boyfriend Ethan. You take the large sweatshirt you had on off and slide into the t-shirt that was equally oversized.

"Shit" you whisper to yourself, you could clearly see the scars you had put into your arms. You start rubbing up and down on your arms when you feel the tears start to build up. You didn't want to scare your friends away, especially not your boyfriend. He probably just thought you were a hot daddy issues type of mentally ill, but you were for real.

As if almost on que Ethan knocks on your door. You don't respond, hoping he'll go away thinking you went to the bathroom or something. He opens the door slightly and peeks through, making sure you weren't naked. not that he would mind if you were, that horny bitch Once realizing you were fully clothed, he walked over to you standing by your mirror and wrapped his hands around you waist, putting his head in the crook of your neck. He heard you sniffle and shot his head up.

"Whats wrong love?" He asked turning his head slightly to look you in the eyes. You just shook your head, doing your best to cover up your arms. He turned you around to face him and removed your hands from across your arms. He just stared for a minute, processing that someone so perfect in his eyes could do that to themselves. He looked from your scarred arms to your eyes and just hugged you.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," You sob into his chest.

"It's alright y/n, it's alright. shh." He says gently stroking your back.

The two of you sat there like that for a little while, crying in his arms. He lifted your chin with his finger, his brown doe eyes looking into yours.

"W-why.?" He asked looking at your arms.

"I don't know, e... it-it's like a distraction... i just can't take it sometimes and i need something to take my mind away from you know…... my mind." You sniffle through your words trying your best to hold it together for him.

"Promise me you won't ever cut yourself again." Ethan whispers. pack it up tate langdon You nod, connecting your lips with his. He wipes the tears from your eyes,

"Don't be embarrassed by them, love," he runs his fingers down your arm being careful not to hurt you. After a couple minutes you walked out together joining the group once again.

(you guys can decide if you went back out in that or changed into smth more concealing, whatever you're comfortable with loves)

"Where'd you guys go? Did you fuck or something?" Quinns asks laughing a bit. You roll your eyes at her, but never responded. Ethan squeezed your hand twice. You knew it would be hard but you would try your best to stay clean for him.

a/n: kill me why did that have to get deleted. also it literally got so bad at the end cuz its like 1am and i'm half asleep but i just wanna say that i tried to make it as realistic as possible without triggering anyone because i know how it is <3

#ethan landry #ethan landry x y/n #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x you #ethan landry scream #ethan landry fluff #scream #scream 6

[quodekash]

ITS ABAAB EP 7 TIME and i am sorry 

warning: lots of happiness, too much happiness. take a shot of water every time i say any variation of ‘HAPPY’. stay hydrated, folks. 

wait what happened to cher? did i miss something? 

i dont remember how the last episode ended so its very possible that i missed something 

awh 🥺

thE BED IS STILL ON AN ANGLE WHY IS THE BED ON AN ANGLE SOMEONE FIX THIS IM BEGGING YOU, ITS GOTTA BE A SAFETY HAZARD 

pls they look so comfy 

it looks like theyve been married for a thousand lifetimes 

so comfyyyyy

rIGHT, THEIR GROUP HAD A FIGHT, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED TO CHER, I REMEMBER NOW 

YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEAH BEACH EPISODE = PURE HAPPINESS AND DOPAMINE 

THREEZO AT THE BEACH 

WE’RE GONNA GET THREEZO AT THE BEACH 

IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO CRY IN ANTICIPATION OF BEACH

i know i already said it like four times BUT THIS LOOKS SO FREAKING COMFY WHAT THE HELL 

THREEZO THREEZO THREEZO

HELLO MY LOVELIES HOW ARE YOU TODAY 

theyre literally in the middle of the frame omg 

little babby 

i love him 

he’s tall but he’s smol 

his HAIR 

LOOK AT IT 

THE HAIR IS SO FLUFFY 

i think my favourite things about this series are jack’s hair and threezo

and theyre both tied for first place 

three’s apology to jack is so freaking sweet omg 

i love him too much 

he struggles with words and communicating but he wants everyone to be happy and he doesnt want conflict and he feels responsible for everything and he is perfection and also he’s either adhd or asd or both, i dont make the rules 

HAPPY

omg his awkward laugh is so cute why was that so cute 

his sweet little ‘hah hah’ 

HIS FACE MAKES ME HAPPY 

HAPPYYYYY 

(damn i did gun/force dirty on that screenshot) 

his freaking face

its making me happy 

this is a happiness overload 

im not used to this much joy in my system 

what do i do with it 

HAPPYYYYYYYYY

dads. 

everyone can see you btw. just letting you know. you’re just standing there, holding hands 

i mean that’s great, good job, not being scared is funky (but its also funky to be scared), it’s just that. you know. if your friends ask questions later and you dont want them to suspect anything then like. it’s your fault. 

altho maybe they dont care if their friends find out, idk at this point 

ignore me

HAPPY

everyone ganging up to push gun in the water. that’s what friendship truly is 

HAPPY

they teleported 

three was next to zo, jack was between cher and zo. they switched. 

hOW?

HAPPYYYYY

THE HAIR

LOOK AT THE HAIR 

they always figure out a way to squeeze it in 

OMG

SOBBING

IM SOBBING

THATS SO CUTE 

HELP

DAMN RIGHT 

his hair is a mess lmao

bRO

HE SAID IT

HE SAID THE THING 

ZOGUN FRIENDSHIP BONDING SCENE OMG HAPPINESS 

he’s known from the very freaking beginning 

before cher even knew 

the gaydar is strong bro 

HIS FREAKING FACE 

HAPPY

HE HAPPY 

PFFFFFFT

i love their friendship so much omg 

(that screenshot looks like hes about to punch him lmao) 

“zo, what is love?” i can feel it, im about to punch a wall or smth bc something threezo is coming 

“what is love for you?” “three.” yUP I KNEW IT OMG IM GONNA FREAKING CRY 

HAIR

FLUFFY FLUFFY FLUFFY ITS SO FLUFFY 

i think i love this man (and his hair) a little too much but its fine 

GJK3BERKJGBVRKEBGR

GUN WHAT THE HELL 

AGAIN, THEY LOOK SO FREAKING COMFY 

well shoot. thoop is mad at cher for being involved with gun. 

good news is: i dont think its homophobia 

it’s just that he doesnt want cher to move on from tian (thoop himself cant move on from tian) and he doesnt want cher to find a relationship because that means, in thoop’s eyes, he’s letting tian go, and thoop cant really deal with that because he’s ✨mentally ill✨

get some sleep my man 

I LOVE HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS 

HES SO FREAKING CARING 

HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIS FRIENDS 

HED PROBABLY NEVER ADMIT IT BUT HE’S A REAL FREAKING SOFTY ON THE INSIDE 

1. ive never seen more serious finger guns 

2. you’re not bi, sir, why are you doing finger guns 

3. finger GUNs 

that is all 

FINAL THOUGHTS: 

if they dont give us a threezo kiss by the end of this show i will scream. 

#abaab #a boss and a babe #a boss and a babe series #a boss and a babe the series #threezo #zothree #ohmfluke #flukeohm #ohm thiphakorn #fluke pusit #mike chinnarat #jack abaab #abaab jack #gun gungawin #cher saran #guncher #chergun #forcebook #bookforce #force jiratchapong #book kasidet

[kivaember]

For the choose violence ask game:

#9, 10, and 12 for armored core

oh man i thought i posted this... i saved it to my drafts dfhdfdfh WELL ANYWAY A BIT LATE BUT yeah if you click on the read more you agree to reading opinions that may run counter to yours uwu

9. worst part of canon

ALLMIND's ending no doubt. While the boss fight was fun and the ending cinematic cool, there were so many plot holes, the ending made no fucking sense, and there was no reason given as to why 621 and Ayre were so gung ho about Coral Release when they both had no idea what it even was? Like it really felt like we were missing a bunch of missions to give context or info and they just didn't edit the script to reflect that.

Like, I genuinely really hate ALLMIND's ending LMAO i pretend it doesn't exist... ╯︿╰ i do not see

10. worst part of fanon

I also close my eyes to headcanons and the like I disagree with, so there isn't really a part of "fanon" that i hate :ua uhh... there probably is stuff I just can't think of any right now from the top of my head.

oh wait, i remember now. People portraying Pater with ~split personality disorder~ or a mental illness equivalent to that because of his DUAL NATURE AC name, his Arena profile and/or citing his behaviour when Hawkins dies. I went on a bit of a ramble before about Pater and my thoughts about him, but there is smth that rubs me wrong something fierce when people just slap on "THIS GUY IS MENTALLY ILL AND SOCIOPATHIC" and make that his whole personality. There's plenty more you can dig into, like how he's an example of what living in a hyper-competitive corporate world can do to you, where you're so focused on success and corporate-pilled that it fucks with your ability to properly process emotion or act appropriately.

But anyways.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

I don't see enough Rokumonsen stuff. I love Rokumonsen. I'd write him more if i knew how to write decent haikus but i don't. THIS GUY IS A CANON WEEB!!! HE PROBABLY NARUTO RUNS IN HIS AC CALLED SHINOBI!!! I'M SURPRISED HE WASN'T YELLING "MISSILE SHURIKIN NO JUTSU" WHEN SHOOTING HIS FUCKING ROCKETS AT YOU!!!! I love Rokumonsen. He's such a nerd that can kick my ass (why has the RLF not yet reclaimed Rubicon when that stagger god is amongst their ranks)

#armored core ramblings #i really need to remember to switch stuff to post after messing with it in my drafts #lmao

[pigeonbboi]

okay I am really autistic and think abt them all the time so

golden wind theories/ hcs abt the main gangs mental illnesses

okay I dont think we talk about how mista probably has ocd enough. we see that he has intrusive thoughts/ obsessions and while we don’t see him have a lot of obvious compulsions but he often acts in a way that may seem irrational to some and has strict routines and fears something will go wrong when they are interrupted. he counts things obsessively, has rituals, etc etc.

short aside: pls don't think I am glorifying/ romanticizing anything I talk abt here these are theories and if anything I say is inaccurate pls lemme know!! I did research abt what I talk abt here but these are my own personal theories/ observations/ how I relate to them :)

I see a lot of people hc narancia as having ADHD but I am here to further my everyone in bucci gang has autism agenda. /hj I am autistic and relate to him. how he has trouble reading peoples intentions and trusts too easily is smth I really relate too! That's not to say he couldn't also have ADHD but if you read him as autistic it adds a lot of depth to his backstory <:) he's also highly empathetic and struggles regulating his emotions.

god sorry this is cringe

oh obviously he's also dyslexic :)

moving on this is obvious and more a plea to people to do research and write realistic recovery for leone being an alcoholic.

I would also love to see more people talking about Bruno. Specifically within the context of bruabba and his savior complex, I can't help but think he would be a little bitter than he is always the one saving people and that he's not allowed to be weak despite all the trauma he went through at a young age and joining the mafia at 14. It would definitely create more vulnerability issues to play parent to not only three traumatized children but also your so, the one who you are meant to feel safest with. I think a lot of Bruno's savior complex issues stems from him thinking that the crimes he has committed in his past and continues to commit as part of his role within Passione make him a bad person, and to atone for these sins he "saves" others. You can see how angry he is when he takes Narancia to the hospital and then he says he also wants to join the gang. To Bruno this is akin to spitting in his face. 'You would throw away the second chance I gave you to make the same mistakes I did?' idk I love him and so many people treat him as if he is perfect and I think he deserves to be complex and maybe resent his family for treating him as a therapist and savior and not always like a flawed human being. basically please let us have more dysfunctional bruabba family I need them to live.

I could write a whole essay on fugo so I shall save him for another time and because I don't trust my own intelligence to talk about him. fugo peak.

A lot of dude bros get mad at Giorno's "lack of personality" as if it doesn't stem directly from him being neglected as a child. He was punished for showing normal emotions as a kid so he hides them as he gets older. He could also totally be read as autistic and thats a hc that holds a special place in my heart. Opposed to Narancia, who is on the high empathy end of the spectrum, Gio, partly as a response to how he was raised, has lower empathy which also effects how he communicates with others. I think he is such a complex character and wish more people devoted time to analyzing him rather than writing him of as boring.

Thats all I have the mental space to write about for write now but I care these idiots so much and please tell me what you think!! Bucci gang 4 eva.

#forcibly putting you on the spectrum #of autism #you're autistic now #dysfunctional bruabba rights #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #i am cringe but i am free #vento aureo #golden wind #giorno giovanna #character analysis #narancia ghirga #guido mista has ocd #me when all my favs are autistic #jojo part 5 #bucci gang #bucci gang headcanon #jojo headcanons #bruabba #bruno bucciarati #leone abbacchio #your fav is autistic

[legallysoup]

22.10.23 - sunday, dimanche, søndag 10/31 days of the studyblr community challenge

lots of language learning today! i promoted in duolingo leagues and im getting whiplash from it ngl.

things i did today:

🌼finished my economics (vocab, etc). i did it kinda badly but ill just edit it later i guess 🌼more french (food revision ig) 🌼a very small amount of minerals research

things i will try to do tomorrow:

🍃more of my minerals research 🍃finish more than 50% of my french vocab 🍃edit my economics (its terrible i just cbb tbh)

things i did for me today: 🌧️went for a run (there was rain!! i love rain <3) 🌧️just chilled again today tbh 🌧️washed my hair (idk if this counts as self care but who cares)

day ten: what is the one thing you wished you could change about studyblr?

to be honest i don't really know, i haven't spent enough time here (just over a week ;-;) to properly say, but i reckon the main thing is probably just the STUDY TILL YOU DIE mentality some people give off. like yes that is great but where is the 'i support you even though you take an unconventional route'? where is the 'i think you can do it, even if no one else has. being first is hardest, and that makes you the best in your own way's? we're a community reason. but other than that this was hard because i love studyblr a lot! love you guys <33

today has a bit more ✨slay✨ ykwim. its interesting picking pictures because my blog is chaos and has no theme but what i might just end up matching my notion layout (i love my notion sm) and its green and cream yup.

bonus round: things i might do to my acc for the aesthetic

✨choose a theme for now or smth revamp later girlie ✨tag and sort my posts ✨write an intro with said tags ✨just be aesthetic yass queen slay

go drink some water lovelies! have a great day/night/whatever time it is for you <33

#good soup #studyblr #studyblr challenge #studyblr community challenge #chaotic academia #langblr #language learning #french #norwegian #aesthetic #studyspo

[elleashling]

so i watched the fnaf movie and i have some thoughts. mostly not good but certainly some thoughts!

(FNAF MOVIE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ BELOW IF YOU DO NOT WANT THEM)

unpopular opinion but the fnaf movie was frustrating to me because i didn’t feel like it followed the lore at All. like i appreciated all the references (kicked my feet and scream whispered in the theater to my mom when i saw the racing game print on the shirt of the guy who dies in the kitchen) but like the overarching plot made no sense to me. here are some rambling points. long post incoming

Plot Fails IMO

why did afton kidnap garrett (who is nonexistent in the games afaik) from a Campground? this is completely unrelated to the typical afton kidnappings and seems like a major stretch

why is vanessa his (afton’s) daughter? this feels like they tried to smash steel wool lore and scott cawthon lore together and failed worse than steel wool failed at making security breach have a point

why do we care about the mike schmidt namedrop if it isn’t an alias for afton’s son like in the games? why does afton recognize the last name and specifically get mike to work the job, then say he didn’t want mike to even get involved. my brother in christ YOU INVOLVED HIM

yet another piece of media where afton randomly dies. except Different. i don’t understand what is going on here this isn’t how it happened it’s a literal rewriting of the canon lore

the drawings thing was also very odd. the whole point of the animatronics coming to kill you originally in 1 and 2 was BECAUSE they knew an adult had killed them and they thought mike was william. there was no special drawing mind control. felt once again like a steel wool lore transplant, extending control over vanny (vanessa) to the animatronics

Springtrap For Fanservice™️. god im so tired of this stop jamming him in places he wasn’t in to start with

when would this take place even? i estimated somewhere between 1 and 3, clearly fazbear’s shut down but it’s obviously not to the point of fnaf 3 yet? why do they need a guard then? idk

abby schmidt? who

Other Odd Stuff

there was a weird split between horrifying fates and drawn out gore and people being cut in half in impossible ways and….. cutting the tension in half by building a table fort and tickling a child to death. really? every single climatic buildup in this movie felt like it was followed by comedy

my mother pointed out watching this movie that it continues a trope “autistic child provides key help through special connection with main plot problem, and then is immediately cured”. i have to say i kind of agree because why else call her mentally ill at the beginning? go out of the way to show her being by herself drawing (which is FINE! it’s OKAY!!) and then socializing with other kids after the ghost deal is over?

mike schmidt dream plotline. why

what was the point of aunt jane???

vanessa throwing the pills away was probably illegal in multiple ways lmao

sigh… as a long term fnaf fan i really wanted to like this movie but it came off as a whole lot of fanservice and diluting the story for mainstream while blending the new owner’s lore in poorly. i liked fnaf when it ended at fnaf 6!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaahhhaggagah!!!!!!

if you want to contradict anything i said here (or if ur another big fan and you know smth i said is wrong lol) absolutely feel free i love lore and talking about it and if you love lore like me come chat and talk abt this w me!!!

tldr don’t get me wrong i enjoyed it for the references and the little details, matpat and cory and the living tombstone made me giggle, but i really thought they messed up the plot a Lot..

might add more in reblogs as i think of it

yeah anyways ill probably make another post rambling about all the references and stuff lol

#fnaf #fnaf movie #review #criticism #? i guess #five nights at freddy's

[cloud-playlists]

clouds playlist directory pt. 1/?

# - D

#

003 - these are the essentials it's all my liked songs. it's the best place to start to get a look at my tastes and see if you'd be interested in the rest

1:11 AM - this one tells a story™ it's one of my most favourite stories it's a real life story that happened to me it's complicated it's complex it's about love and friendship and pulling and pushing and being 17 and everything else

2:22 AM - all the songs i liked in 2022! it's actually such a nice mix like my music taste went off 💯

3:33 AM - those 3 am feels need i say more 🥲

4:44 AM - 4 am nostalgia that hits after a night out or maybe a sleepless night in

11:11 AM - make a wish! wish for anything you want :)

a

all my friends live on the internet - pretty self explanatory perfect playlist for the irl introvert and online 'extrovert'

alone but don't want to be - bc sometimes you're so alone it hurts lol 😎

am i high - songs that make me feel like i'm on a trip

and why do we grow up? - no bc literally why do we 😒

anything you say can and will be used against you - pg 13 iykyk 😉

b

blasphemy but make it beautiful - lowkey queer religious trauma or smth

bops (you on the head with an empty wrapping paper tube) - the bops! songs to dance to! this is for when you're handed the aux cord at a party!

brain damage - music so trashy it's good 🤤

broke my heart she did listen to a lofi playlist she must - it's all lofi. and yes she did introduce me to lofi then break my heart which is why i listen to lofi and mope 🙄

burnt out gifted kid - pretty much what the name says

but friends don't kiss - or do they 🤔 have you ever kissed a friend 👀

c

call me a good girl so i can tell you i'm the best - one thought 🥺

calming the chaos - no literally what is says. when your brain starts freaking out just turn it on and feel yourself start to breathe easy again. helped me through many breakdowns and panic attacks :')

can i help you not to hurt anymore? - want to help a friend but ... how 😔

can we take it slow? - for when you want to take it slow :)

carefree cutie - if you vibe too hard with this playlist you may have the same mental illnesses i do oops!

chasing lana - the lana del rey and chase atlantic collab we need but will probably never get :(

cheers to what was what is and what will never be - friend group break up need i say more

cher voice oh if i could turn back time - smth smth i miss the 90s when i wasn't born yet oof

cringe culture is driving me crazy - the cheesiest cringiest a.k.a the best love songs eek!

crumbling castle - for when things are ending (incomplete myb in progress?)

d

dizzy - songs tht make me feel the way i feel when my iron is low?

don't know what they're saying but it sounds so good - non english lang faves!

dreaming about her - uh girl crush alert welp!

#spotify #spotify playlist #concept playlist #music #song reccomendations #song recs

[risetherivermoon]

Psst, psst. What’s this I read about Rosekiller no voldy au, but Barty still loosing his mind???

someone else also asked for this one so ill just tag them here: @wewillbeinfrance

This one is tad more of a loose idea, but i just adore stories where characters are unreliable narrators, like so unreliable that it leaves you like: "goddammit is this actually really happening or not??"

i feel like this is how i would approach this idea, and you're probably asking how barty would 'lose his mind' if its a no voldy au,

and that my friend, is a good question,

i think with this it would be mostly revolved around Barty and some past trauma and maybe more current trauma that has been effecting him in a way where he doesn't remember it at all besides flashes

and he doesn't really tell anyone or anything so he's basically just slowly mentally declining, and these reactions slowly get more frequent: losing time, seeing things that aren't there, dissociating, panic attacks, etc

i know i used the phrase, 'losing his mind' but i feel like its more so hes just mentally ill and doesn't understand why and doesn't tell anyone whats going on so he just gets worse, which i guess is pretty near to being the same

Evan and the rest of the group (which includes the slytherins & the marauders) are just kinda seeing small details or moments that make them go like: 'uh barty you okay?' and he just nods shakily, thats kind of the whole idea

like i said, ive really been wanting to write smth lately where the main character's capabilities of telling the story are very low and it's almost hard to follow at points

and maybe id sprinkle in evan povs or other characters just to make the difference from bartys mind and reality even more drastic,

such as moments where he shares looks with characters or notes that they're in the room, and then a few seconds later they walk in,

or, moments where he has a conversation with a character and mentions it in conversation and they have no idea what he's talking about,

moments where characters say something about what he said and he doesn't remember saying it

him seeing things that aren't there but just brushing it off as he slowly gets more accustomed to living like this

i believe that this story would have a happy ending where he gets to heal, but i like to think itd be drawn out, and definitely confusing lol

anyways, thanks for listening to me spill my nerdy guts everywhere, and thanks for the ask!

(original post/list: socks fic ideas )

#marauders #marauders era #harry potter #hp #dead gay wizards #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #rosekiller #barty x evan #evan x barty #barty crouch jr x evan rosier #evan rosier x barty crouch jr #socks asks #my writing #me rambling like hell #mwpp #mwpp era #slytherin skittles #(istg i hate the name slytherin skittles) #(to me they're just the slytherins or the snakes)