#ps my inbox is always open so let's be friends!!

[itgetsdark-x]

Hey, I have a little idea, that I just can't get out of my head.

Joel is trying to teach the reader how to play the guitar riff of "the chain" by Fleetwood Mac, but the reader gets a bit too distracted by Joels finger movements, which he notices, teases the reader with a cheeky smirk preferably like something similar to "darling you're focusing on the wrong thing". Once he sees that the reader is blushing, he sets down his guitar, takes the readers guitar and they just do it in the living room, just because they're so caught up in the moment. Then after the deed, he let's out a snarky remark on how the reader is easily distracted (honestly I don't even know how should the remark sound, like "next time focus on the strings and not the lingering fingers") [I'll just leave it up to you], but yeah the reader promises that she would be more attentive next time and they both start wheezing, because she's already making promises that she wouldn't be able to keep. The end 🥰

PS. And bless you and your writing, the writing is absolutely astounding, the way you capture pure emotions is phenomenal, the dialogues between characters too. Everything is mind-blowing, most of the time I find myself taken aback by it 😚. Thank you!!

A/N: please forgive the fact this has been sat in my inbox for literally months, I am so sorry!! <3 I’ve had so much on recently I just haven’t had the time to write so also please forgive the fact this sucks, I feel so outta touch! Nevertheless, here is your request and I hope I’ve done it justice, somewhat as the prompt was amazing!!

Summary: you love music, almost as much as you love watching your friend, Joel, play the guitar. When you’re stuck learning a song, Joel is there to lend a hand, in more ways than one.

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, it’s just smut, unprotected p in v, mentioned age gap, mild choking, oral (m receiving)

Characters: Joel Miller x (f) reader

Word Count: 3.6k

You sighed heavily, the breath from your lungs exhaling loudly in frustration as you threw your guitar down on the old couch in anger.

“What’s got you in a tiffy, darlin’?” Joel asked, peering his head round the corner so he could look at you.

“Can’t learn this fuckin’ riff in The Chain, y’know by Fleetwood Mac?” You groaned, slumping back into your seat and closing your eyes.

“Yeah, I’m from that era of music, darlin’. I’m well aware of the song.” He chuckled dryly and leant up against the wall of his lounge so he could admire you. “Would you like some help? I know the song and could teach you, if you like?” He said kindly.

“Really? Would you?” You grinned. “God, Joel! Yes! Thank you, you’d really by saving my life. I promised the band we would play it at our next show in a few day’s but actually didn’t realise the riff would be quite so hard. Sorry I know we said we would just hangout tonight and listen to music but this has got me all frustrated.”

Joel just smiled at you softly before he left the room to grab his own guitar. The two of you had been close friends for a while. Not long after you had moved to town, you stumbled into a local bar and saw this somewhat gruff-looking guy strumming his guitar at the open mic night. It took you to go to the same bar and see him three more times before you even grew the courage to say hello to him. There was an instant attraction between the two of you but you never quite built up the courage to become more than close friends, you spent a lot of time together and there always felt like more lingered in the air but you always managed to repress those feelings. Still, here you were now, you both seemed to just slot into one another’s life and routines seamlessly and without further words of your feelings for one another.

He reappeared with his, much nicer, and newer guitar; he gestured for you to scoot across the couch and pick up your own guitar. There was an evident age-gap between the two of you but you both bonded over your love or music and still, even still, it’s what you both loved the most.

“Okay, so,” Joel started and sat down on the couch next to you.

You turned yourself and crossed your legs so you could watch the male and follow his instructions. You picked up your own guitar and followed suit in Joel’s fingers positions.

He peered over at you with a soft smile, it was the sort of smile that hooked you from the instant you set your eyes on him; the kind of smile you wanted to drown yourself in forever. Just as quick as you saw yourself staring at the male, you diverted your gaze to his fingers once more and focused on your own positioning.

“You wanna put your fingers like this, strum, strum, switch, strum, switch…” Joel was instructing but your brain felt as if it had turned to mush.

This felt like it was the first time you properly took in the older male’s form and you could feel your cheeks heating up; you watched as Joel’s thick fingers moved effortlessly to play the riff that you had been struggling with. He continued to play and the soft chords filled your ears.

Your mind wandered filthily as he did so; you stopped trying to play along as you watched his fingers move, imagining what they would feel like touching you, feeling you, even what they would feel like inside of you. You shifted awkwardly in your seat as the familiar throb of lust swept through your body.

You imagined how it would feel to have Joel’s fingers tracing down your body softly, so incredibly softly until they were hooking inside your panties to gentle caress yo—

“Darlin’,” Joel coughed, drawing your attention back to the room. “Seems to me you’re focusing on the wrong thing…”

“What?!” You asked loudly, directing your gaze back to the smirking male in front of you. “Oh, I — uh — you,” you muttered. “Good technique.” You managed to get out with deeply flushed cheeks.

“Good technique, huh?” He chuckled. “You’re blushin’ quite a bit there.” Joel remarked with a smug smirk as he placed his guitar down on the floor away from the couch.

“N-no I am not!” You defended weakly, staring at the male once again with widened eyes as he took your guitar. “Wait, w-what are you doing?” You asked meekly.

“I’m doing what I shoulda done that night you first spoke to me.” Joel whispered, moving closer to you now.

He put your guitar on the floor, with his own and closed the distance between you; one of his strong hands held your face as he pressed a hungry kiss to your parted lips. You couldn’t help but gasp as your brain caught up with what was happening.

You pressed your palms to the males broad chest and gently pushed him away so you could open your mouth to speak once more.

“I don’t wanna ruin anything, Joel. D-don’t be dumb.” You whispered as you leant into the hand on your face.

“Shut up and kiss me, will you?” He laughed dryly before pulling you back in.

Joel manoeuvred your body until your were straddling his lap and you let out a contented sigh as he deepened the kiss; his tongue quickly swept along your bottom lip before it delved into your mouth to fight against your own. Any previous arguments of why you shouldn’t be doing this melted away with each kiss. Your hips shifted in the males lap, your greedy privates needing more friction than you were getting.

Joel let out a breathy laugh and toyed with the buttons on the front of your plaid shirt, he looked up at you to silently ask for permission, to which you gave a simple nod. Within seconds he was exposing your bra-clad chest, he couldn’t contain the deep groan that rumbled from his throat as his fingers fumbled with the fabric to expose more of your skin.

“Look at you, darlin’, so pretty.” He mumbled, attaching his rough lips to the skin of your neck and chest. He peppered soft kisses to the delicate skin and nipped at the doughy flesh of your breast.

You let out a soft moan, it was a small noise but it only encouraged Joel further; he unhooked your bra and let your bare breasts fall free from the constricting fabric. Your chest heaved, your skin was flushed and you wriggled in Joel’s lap; you weren’t sure what to do with your hands or even your body, you were fixed in the spot and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from Joel’s hands again. Only this time, they were massaging at your sensitive tits, he pinched his fingers over your hardening nipples and he toyed with the sensitive buds.

“Fuck, Joel. Please, I need way more than this. Please.” You breathed, watching him still.

“Yeah?” He groaned, his cock throbbing painfully in his worn jeans. “You need more? I see the way you’re still watching me, baby girl. You wanna watch as I play with your pretty pussy?”

Your breath caught in your throat at Joel’s question, you never imagined he could sound any sexier but there he was, filth falling from his lips as he played with your tits. With such nonchalance, he might as well have asked you how you like your coffee in the morning. You nodded eagerly, unable to string an answer together and Joel just chuckled.

“Get out your jeans and panties for me then. Then, just wait, since you got such a thing for watching my hands why don’t I let you watch properly?” He smirked.

You did as you were instructed, you stood from the sofa and stripped yourself of your remaining clothes and you kicked the discarded articles of clothing to the side with your waylaid guitar. You draped your arms over your chest, feeling overly exposed compared to Joel who was still fully dressed. Joel pushed the coffee table in the middle of the room until it was a further distance away from the sofa and he swiftly took the mirror off of the wall; he rested it up against the edge of the coffee table so that it was positioned opposite the sofa.

“What are you doing?” You asked a little nervously.

“You’ll see, darlin’. Now how ‘bout you come help me get outta these clothes?”

You didn’t hesitate for a second longer and you were on the male in a flash, your hands clawed at Joel’s T-shirt as you haphazardly pulled it over his head before you moved onto unbuckling his belt and helping him out of his jeans and boxers.

His cock sprung free from the restraints of his boxers and you instantly felt yourself flutter around air, you craved any part of the older male you could get your hands on.

Joel hissed softly as the cool air hit the tip of his swollen cock, the pre-cum already beading at his slit. You swallowed roughly as your eyes drank in the male in front of you, your soft hands stroked over his broad chest with a smile.

“C’mon darlin’, sit on the floor for me.” He said softly and you nodded compliantly.

You sat on the floor, a little way from the sofa and you couldn’t help but cover your modesty as you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror across from you. Joel tutted as he sat himself behind you, he spread his legs and pulled you back until you were flush against him.

“Look at you,’ Joel breathed, turning your face to look at the both of you in the mirror. “Look at how beautiful you look for me, spread your pretty little legs for me.” He held the tops of your thighs to gently pull your legs up, he stroked down your leg and pushed them open at your knees.

You wanted to close your legs, you wanted to look away but Joel had you captivated, you caught his gaze in the reflection opposite you and you smiled softly at the man.

“Don’t be shy, baby girl, you’re so beautiful, you should see yourself as I touch you.” He breathed against your neck before he peppered soft kisses there.

Your cheeks were glowing and any words you wanted to say had died long ago in your throat, you were completely hypnotised by the older male. You watched intently as his large hands stroked over your body, his fingers lightly danced over your inner thighs and you couldn’t help the way your body shook under his gentle touches.

“Stay still for me, princess.” He cooed with a soft laugh.

“C-can’t… Need you so bad and you’re teasing me.” You whined petulantly.

“No patience, huh?” He asked, nipping at your neck with a smile when you gasped.

“Joel! Please!!” You huffed as his fingers ghosted over where you wanted them the most.

You couldn’t help the way your legs instinctively spread further at his teasing fingertips which caused the older male to let out a breathy laugh.

“Atta girl, you get the idea. You wanna watch my fingers so bad, watch how they’re gonna play with your cunt.” He whispered lowly into your ear which caused your body to shudder.

Joel kept his eyes locked onto yours in the mirror’s reflection as his fingers finally fell to where you needed them most. He brushed his fingers through your damp slit, collecting your apparent arousal on them and he cocked a brow at you in the mirror.

“Hm,” he hummed happily. “This all for me, darlin’?”

You nodded weakly, just a small gasp escaping from your parted lips as Joel’s thick digits finally settled on your throbbing clit. He began to move his fingers in small circles and you were caught, entirely captivated and at his will, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the reflection unfolding in front of you.

Somewhere in the back of your mind you knew you should be ashamed, should close your legs and cover your modesty but Joel had rewired your brain; him and his stupid hands. His perfect, thick and magical hands. The hands that almost had you shaking already.

“You like that, sweetheart? Like watching my fingers play with your clit?” He asked smoothly, his breath fanning against your neck as he stared at you in the mirror.

You opened your mouth but the only sound that slipped from your lips was a shaky moan which just egged Joel on further; his fingers started to circle your sensitive bundle of nerves quicker and you felt your stomach start to flutter and tense.

He kept that same, smug smirk plastered over his face as he effortlessly sped his fingers up, he occasionally let his lips drop down and kiss at the sensitive skin of your neck. Your head began to lull back as Joel’s fingers worked quickly, to edge you closer to your release but he simply tutted at you.

“Nope, baby girl, you need to watch yourself as I make you cum, need to watch you shaking for me as you cum for me.” He whispered.

You forced your head upright, the overwhelming pleasure making your limbs feel heavy. Joel dipped his fingers lower so he could insert two into you, albeit slightly awkwardly but it was enough, you could feel his thick digits stroking your spongy walls.

With every move of his fingers, the heel of his palm nudged against your clit; the room was filled with your breathy moans, Joel’s soft encouragements and the obscene squelching of your wet pussy.

“J-Joel, I’m not gonna last. Feels, fuck.” You whimpered, your fingers clawing at the flesh on Joel’s legs. “Feels so fucking good, fuck.” You cursed.

“Atta girl, cum for me; look at me in the mirror, look into my eyes as I make you cum.” He growled possessively.

You nodded, your mouth hung agape and just as Joel curled his fingers upwards, you felt yourself clench around him. He removed his fingers from inside you and went to quickly rub over your clit as you shook through your orgasm. You felt your stomach curl as your walls clenched and then you felt the first few spurts of squirt leave your body, hearing the soft splashing noise as it hit the floor.

“Oh fuck, Joel — I’m, I’m sorry. I’ve never done that before. I’ll clean it up.” You breathed, closing your legs in embarrassment.

“Don’t you dare.” He smirked. “You don’t even realise how hot that is.”

Your cheeks flushed out of embarrassment and you smiled at the older male in the mirror, dropping your legs once again and seeing the mess you had made. No man before had ever made you feel as good as Joel did, your mind began to race just how amazing he would feel if he was in a better position and you weren’t sure if you would even be able to take it.

“Now,” Joel smiled over your shoulder, nipping at the flesh playfully. “Why don’t you sit in my lap, facing the mirror so you can see my cock sliding in and out of your tight pussy?” He challenged with a raised brow.

You nodded dumbly, you honestly couldn’t believe this was your friend, the charming gentleman who would help elderly people at the store, the one that plays gently with his niece; yet here he was, dominant and filthy.

You moved out of the way so Joel sit with his back against the sofa more and close his legs, he gave his throbbing cock and few strokes with the same hand he had inside of you moments ago. You couldn’t help but stare again, you were captivated and completely mesmerised by him; it was intoxicating.

You moved once again so you could position yourself, hovering above Joel’s cock, he held the base of his member to guide it into your tight hole and then he squeezed your hips roughly. Your eyes fluttered closed as Joel lowered you into his lap, his length felt impossibly long and thick, you could feel your walls stretching around him until you were completely bottomed out on him.

“Joel, fuck, so—“ you breathed out. “So big, Jesus.”

“I prefer being called Joel, but hey, I’ll respond to Jesus.” He teased, squeezing your hips. “So tight baby girl, so good for me.” He muttered, urging you to rise before sinking down again.

You rolled your eyes at the male but started a steady rhythm, lifting yourself and sitting back down continuously; Joel felt incredible, better than anyone you had been with before, with every time you lowered yourself, you could feel the thick tip of his cock nudge against your g-spot, you felt like you were seeing stars. Completely cock drunk on the older male.

“I can’t keep this up, my legs are shaking already and I feel like I’m gonna cum again.” You whispered, looking at Joel’s blissful, pleasured face.

“Come on, just a little bit more for me, just a bit more.” He groaned as he took his hands to hold onto your tits once again.

You shook your head, took one of his hands and wrapped it around your throat. “Like this.” You instructed.

“Fuck.” He groaned. “You’re trouble, darlin’.” He smirked and gently squeezed your throat as you continued to ride him.

You clenched around him in response, soft moans falling from your parted lips. Joel used his other hand to find your clit once again, his calloused fingers circling it expertly. You watched his fingers again in the mirror and that’s all it took; your eyes drank in the erotic scene. The older males hand around your throat, his fingers playing with your clit and his cock plunging in and out of your hole. You sank into his lap and circled your hips as you came around him, with a wrecked moan.

“Good girl, good girl, good girl.” Joel cooed in your ear, the praise sending shocks through you as you rode out your orgasm.

Joel released your throat and removed his fingers from your oversensitive clit as he let you regain your composure once again. He gently got you off his lap as you got your breath back.

“Let me sort this out.” You smirked, wrapping your hand around his cock.

“Hmm?” Joel smirked.

You spread his legs, and knelt between them and without another word, you sucked the males length into your mouth, sinking down until it hit the back of your throat.

Joel let out an animalistic groan and instinctively wrapped his fingers into your hair to steady himself from bucking up into your mouth. He looked at the reflection in front of him; his hair-covered chest was already heaving with effort as you started to bob your head in his lap. And then there was your body; your perfect body, with all its curves and lines, he watched as your ass moved with each bob and every now and then, he could catch a glimpse of your wet pussy.

You sank your mouth lower until your nose was buried in the thatch of dark hair at the base of his cock, your senses were filled with Joel, he scent was heady and intoxicating but even amongst all of that; you could taste yourself on the male, normally it would make your stomach turn but with him, you couldn’t get enough. You were eager to please him and you worked your mouth quicker, wrapping a hand around the base to move in sync with your mouth.

“I’m gonna cum, fuck, please don’t stop that, please don’t stop.” The older male moaned, his words almost sounding like a pleading whimper.

His fingers tightened in your hair as you pulled your mouth off with a pop. You looked up at the male through your lashes and flashed him a devilish grin.

“Cum on my face.” You stated bluntly as you stroked him quicker.

Joel was left speechless, he was dumbfounded as he watched you stick your tongue out, waiting to receive his load. You stroked him, your thumb brushing over the tip of his cock and that’s all he needed, his fingers still tangled in your head as his cock twitched; thick ropes of his cum hitting your tongue, painting your cheeks and chin.

You smirked at him and swallowed down his load with a soft moan. Joel’s head fell back onto the sofa and you sat back on your heels, face a total mess and feeling sticky with sweat all over.

“Fuck me.” Joel groaned, rubbing his face with his hands. “That was…”

“Unexpected?” You offered up with a soft laugh.

Joel laughed and looked back up at you, his cock twitched as he watched his load dribble down your face.

“Let me get you a cloth.” He laughed and kissed the top of your head before leaving the room.

He returned shortly after, as you were wiping your face and regaining some decorum, he put his mirror back up on the wall.

“How ‘bout we both go shower and then I actually teach you how to play that damned song? And how ‘bout this time, you don’t get distracted as easily on my fingers, hm?” He teased.

“Ugh, you’re the worst. Maybe don’t have such nice hands?” You retorted, pushing past him to run upstairs.

Maybe it was time for you to find a new guitar teacher.

———

#joel miller #joel x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #pedro pascal

[borhapparker]

its totally cool if you’re not comfortable writing this, could you do Tom Holland x fem!reader where reader has struggled with depression and it got worse over quarantine, then one day tom (or one of the boys cuz they were all together during quarantine)finds her overdosed on pills? Could end where she survives or not

yes of course! i just wanted to make a note beforehand that i am no expert in this topic, and i am going to be as sensitive as possible when it comes to exploring this topic. all my knowledge and descriptions come from me watching "euphoria" and its overtly graphic scenes, so please take all my knowledge with a grain of salt.

that being said, i am here for everyone if they ever need anything. i am also struggling with depression and i can sympathize with those going through those rough patches and moments in life. i am here for you if anyone ever needs to talk or needs a friend for whatever reason. (: my inbox is always open!

ps. i will also be posting this piece of writing on my wattpad if anyone wants to share the love on there too (:

warnings: angst, some fluff, will make you squirm, mentions of death/suicide, descriptions of overdosing, lots of mentions of self harm

word count: 1.3k

There was something comforting in knowing you were finally alone. Away from the world, away from breathing, living humans. Away from it all. The bliss of hearing your own breathing, the beating of your heart as you laid down, arms spread out, much like that of a starfish.

But, through the bliss of being alone, there emerged your thoughts. The demons, clawing at you, pulling you into a state of pure pain. Your breath hitched in your throat as they whispered, the words twisting into you like a dagger. Tears pricked at your eyes as you fought them back, burying your face into your pillow.

This past year had been tough. You had friends and a good support system around you. But they didn't know. They didn't know the types of demons you fought every night, every waking moment.

Maybe this was it, this was when you would go. This was your time, time to escape your demons, to finally get rid of the hands clawing at you every day.

Maybe you could finally rest.

The cracking of the door jerked you up from your bed, as you sighed, rubbing your hands against your face. Maybe not today.

"Y/n! Love, we're home!" the familiar face greeted you as you got up, opening your door. "We brought dinner."

His eyes met your tired figure as he smiled, coming to wrap his arms around you as you smiled sadly, his hand rubbing your back.

"Let's eat, baby." you nodded, as the boys all hugged you. "It's your turn to pick a show."

Bringing the food to the living room, you smiled as you picked up the controller, opened up Netflix, and chose Supernatural.

"Finally!" Harrison cheered as he high-fived you, "Winchester boys are back in action."

"What episode did we leave off on?"

You backtracked, checking the current episode, "Season 5, Episode 10."

Harry groaned, "At least we finally get to find out what happens with Lucifer."

Tom laughed as he lightly punched his shoulder, "Let's see if our bets were true."

The night passed like a blur through your eyes, your body leaning into Tom's as his body heat warmed you up. Yet, you did not feel warm. Your body felt cold, as you closed your eyes, trying to rest from the neverending voices haunting you.

You didn't know how long you had been asleep for, as you opened your eyes, feeling Tom's arms wrapped around your waist as his face was nestled into the crook of your neck. Yet, you felt empty. Nothing felt right about where you were, as you slowly slipped out of the bed, heading for the bathroom in the hall.

A sigh shakily slipped your lips as you locked the door behind you, looking up at the mirror, at who supposedly was yourself.

Yet, you didn't recognize the person staring back at you. That person looked dead, dark eyebags under their eyes, lips slightly bruised, and cheeks hollow.

Go away

No one deserves to be with someone that looks like THAT

It's just in the cabinet, grab them, they don't bite

The words spilled from their lips as tears pricked at you, and you shook your head, a silent sob slipping from your lips. "No, I won't do it."

But why? It's not like anyone here would even miss you

C'mon, at least you can finally sleep

Sleep

Sleep. That's all you wanted, was for the voices to go away. The claw marks from their hands were not evident on your skin, yet they always pricked at you. It was hard to ignore them, and even harder now when all you wanted to do was embrace the cold.

All you wanted was to be warm, and peaceful.

Quiet.

Opening the cabinet over you, your eyes grazed over the familiar bottle of pills.

They had been prescribed for pain when you fractured your elbow a couple of months ago. But you didn't need them anymore, the pain was gone after two months. As you opened the bottle, you dropped one pill into your hand.

Then two. Then three.

Then the whole bottle was emptied into your palm.

You brought your palm up to your mouth, dropping them all in as you swallowed them dry, the itchiness in your throat stronger by the minute. Looking back up at your reflection, you suddenly smiled.

Maybe this was all you needed.

Just a little dose.

-

Tom woke from the bed, noticing the emptiness beside him. Rubbing his face with his hands, he walked out, finding the boys at the kitchen table, chatting and drinking their respective cups of tea.

"Lads?" they turned to look at him, "Where's Y/n?"

Harrison shrugged, as he gave Tom his cup of tea, Tom only placing it down as an ache in the pit of his stomach grew by the minute.

"Did anyone see her leave?" Sam shook his head as Harry shrugged, staring at his phone.

He walked back into the hallway, noticing the light in the bathroom on. His hand came up to the door and lightly rapped the wood, "Y/n? Darling? You in there?"

Silence emitted from the other side, as Tom's eyebrows furrowed, and he knocked again. Putting his ear to the door, he heard little gasps, slight breathing before nothing.

His eyes widened, as he called for the boys to the door, and he knocked again, this time with more fervor. "Y/n, come on, open up!"

Tom was pulled back by Harrison, as he and Harry kicked the door down, gasps emitting from their lips.

There you were, splayed on the ground, vomit emitting from your lips as your eyes were open, glassy. Tom crouched down, fingers immediately going for a pulse as he couldn't find one, before beginning CPR. Harrison crouched next to him, on the other side, as he tilted his head, stopping Tom. His fingers immediately went into your throat, trying his best to open up your airway as Harry dialed an ambulance, Sam grabbing a cold towel from the kitchen. As Harrison cleared your airway, he motioned for Tom to continue CPR as Sam brought the towel and placed it on your forehead, hoping to cool you down.

Harry ran outside the house, as he flagged down the ambulance, the paramedics began to ask him questions he did not have the answers to. Leading them upstairs, one immediately opened his bag, taking out a vial of a transparent liquid and a needle. The paramedic immediately dropped in front of your body, as he grabbed your arm, plunging the needle filled with the unknown transparent liquid.

"Keep doing that, kid! We gotta go!" the other paramedic immediately grabbed the spine board, pointing at Harrison to pick her up by the shoulders as they slid the board under her body. "Let's go!"

Both paramedics ran outside, carrying her body as the boys followed behind, Tom going in the ambulance as the rest drove Harrison's car, all following the ambulance. The paramedic inside the ambulance took over for Tom and resumed CPR, as Tom held your hand, the warmth now slowly returning.

A gasp emitted from your lips as you opened your eyes, the paramedic smiling down at you before yelling at his partner, "She's awake! Let's go! How far are we?"

"5 minutes!"

"Welcome back," the paramedic smiled, "Stay with us now, okay? Everything is going to be okay."

Turning to your right, you noticed Tom's gaze on you. "T-tom."

"Hey, darling." he gripped your hand. "Stay with me."

At that moment, you realized, there were no voices. The claw marks were gone, and all you heard was silence. You didn't know how long this would last, or how long you would have with this silence. But you welcomed it, like a warm hug on a cold day. Maybe things would be okay. Maybe everything would be better this time around.

Maybe, this was your new beginning.

tags:

@pbnjparker @madmadmilk @websterss @hollandroos @spiderboytotherescue @justapurrcat @ahoefortomholland @darling-parker @darlingparkers @silkscream @silkholland @sunshinehollandd @blissfulparker @boohooiamthefool @softholland @peterprk @tomhollandsblog @thollandsdarling @pvarker @totheblood @sunflowertomholland @slut4holland @gingerparker @darling-im-moonstruck

#ambs writing #tshwritersnet #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland writing #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x female!reader #tw: overdose #tw: depression #marvel #mcu #peter parker #spiderman

[znikomek]

fic request: "are you seriously trying to set me up at my best friend's wedding?"

i hope i'm not being a burden-

Hello, Anon! I gave myself a bit of freedom with the prompt, as there were no precise wishes and I could not message you with any questions, so I hope it will satisfy what you hoped for. If not, let me know!

PS No, you're not being a burden- I'm always more than happy to see anything in my inbox! Feel free to put there whatever comes to your mind

But for the knowledge of an estimated cost of the floor, John would worry it would crack here or there. A massive crowd of closer and further friends and family was swinging to a mash-up of classical and pop music flowing from the band on the platform. In the cauldron of bright colors, even the bride's shiny white gown disappeared.

White wine was seeping from a delicate glass to his barely gaped lips. Reclined comfortably in his chair, he could stop maniacally pressing his legs together without worrying about stomping on Anne’s long dress, as the maid of honor left him to dance with her boyfriend over twenty minutes ago. It didn't take her long to size him up as useless on the dance floor, even before seeing him move, but John didn't mind it. Gilbert's wedding was well-stocked in drinks and food, thanks to Adrienne's parents' restaurant chain.

To be able to afford the luxuries they had, business did not leave the families for a moment. Communion of two tycoons through marriage couldn’t go uncelebrated by a deal for both sides. Right after their honeymoon, the groom and bride, for their board of directors and father accordingly, were supposed to attend an opening of the first Bois de Rose with a special branch of Le Solstice. Even now, on the dance floor, one of the shareholders tried to snatch Gilbert from the arms of his newlywed wife to discuss some unknown to anyone but him matter.

In the all-present racket, he did not notice anyone approaching until the heavy chair thudded against the wooden floor and Louis flopped next to him in Anne’s place.

They saw each other yesterday, before John got to go to the bachelor party and get drunk. Then, Louis took the opportunity to tease him about attending the wedding hungover, but today, he let it go, and John was grateful for it. Another subject quickly appeared as Louis treated himself to a slice of baked potatoes and smiled when the taste hit the buds. “These are good.” He waved with another slice. “I've been snacking on them since we came in here.”

“I helped to choose them.” John laughed lightly, remembering how Gilbert had to convince his wife-to-be to serve something mismatching with the overall theme of the party. “Glad you enjoy them.”

“Everything here is great.” Louis leaned back to level with him. “Wine, dine, and laugh. The company at my table is pretty good as well. Yet, there is something I would change in here. You see, John, I am sitting not in my seat. Why, you ask. Because it was empty. Why was it empty? Because you are, again, alone. Here- I think you’ve been lonely for too long.”

The Prieur Montrachet’s honeyish taste on his tongue got refreshed with another sip. John only watched it swirl slightly in the glass, peering to observe every tiny wave on the surface.

“You know I want everything best for you.” Louis wasn’t letting that go. “And you know what? Maybe you could get to know that one?” His chin changed into a pointing arrow.

“Are you seriously trying to set me up at my best friend's wedding?” Despite deep disapproval for such action, he looked up in the set direction. Wine lapped dangerously.

“Alex.”

“You know him?” Louis seemed genuinely surprised, but in that surprise was even more genuine amusement. 

There was nothing in this that was amusing to John. Since he saw the phantom in front of his own eyes, he did not even blink. “My ex.”

Saying these words at a wedding must have had an effect on Louis, as he burst out in laughter, swaying back. The admission broke something in John as well, and he relieved the tension from his body, slumping against the backrest.

Alexander Hamilton and he dated a long time ago, back when John was in med school, striving to ace all his classes for a surgery residency and Alex was a brilliant law student, storming all his courses, with another storm in his empty wallet. Financial disadvantage did not discourage him from knocking his professors out. And so he did to John. Passing on Columbia campus while running to college or back home, the snippets of Alexander talking planted in him what he could only call a crush.

This childish feeling would burn in him and burn out with time had Alexander not, apparently, listened to him as well. The first invitation for coffee John accepted hesitantly, just to throw away any doubts after it finally happened. Alex was intelligent, attractive, unimpeachably charming. They started dating a few months later. 

If Alex was an amazing lawyer, he was all the better boyfriend. Loving, caring, tender, adventurous, unashamed and honest with his feelings, and flirtatious. And already ready to emotionally settle down. Between all the, mostly present, bliss grew fear of not being able to satisfy Alex’s hopes. John had never come out to his father and while still financially dependent on him, it was the least favorable moment to do so. Eloping was not an option either.

With time, it appeared to him, he was not fitted for Alexander. With the acknowledgment came the need to take himself out of his then-boyfriend's life. Last came an occasion to do so.

A cozy café - one of those tiny, cheap places that Alex could afford to take him to and which they had seen tens of, delicious cake, evening sun falling through the window and shining on Alexander’s jacket and in his eyes. Sweets flowed well with an engaging talk about the new Marvel movie that they had seen the previous day, until dryness caught up with Alex’s throat, and he turned to his third cup.

The light pink tint of Alex’s cheeks was adorable. There was something about this statement that made John feel uneasy, of how he stared at a distracted man like this, but at the end of the day, the warmth it brought to his mind could not be leveled by anything. Sharp features, lips he knew to be soft; eating out was great, but what came next could not leave John’s thoughts.

Slurping his black coffee, Alexander had a moment to freely satisfy his inner gossip and look over the other tables, trying to fish out scraps of conversations, when his eyes stopped on one of them. “Do you remember that one basketball guy?” A grin flashed through his face and the cup landed back in its saucer.

Basketball guy. A man who approached John while they were on a walk once, trying to hit on him when Alexander turned around. Just the redness of his face caused by trying to explain to his boyfriend why another one was being flirty with him made sure he would remember that for years to come.

“I think we should share who we find attractive with one another. For full clarity.” There was this casual, teasing smugness in him. “I can start. That brown-haired lady over there, pretty nice.” He pointed into the far corner from where they were sitting, and John's eyes couldn't not follow.

Indeed, a well-dressed giggly girl prattled with a friend in the corner, and caused a corner of Alex's lips to raise in an amused smile. He knew.

The conversation got back on its previous track soon after, but when the bottom of Alex's last cup unveiled itself, it was time to put a stop to caffeine. “I'll run to the restroom and get the bill, okay?” He beamed to John over the table.

Left alone - it was John's moment. Quickly reached into his bag and stood up. Just a few steps managed to carry him through the room, and two glances were enough to catch the women's attention. Maybe even a little too much of it. The blonde friend looked him up and down, making John wish he could say he was taken and gay.

“How can I help you, sir?” The hazelnut one peeked up at him from over her latte, somehow startling him.

“There is.” He smiled, trying not to miss a beat. “My- friend- thinks you’re pretty, but he’s too shy to make the moves.” The smile changed into a wide grin, now that he got over with the hard part. “I thought I could help him out with that.”

How she bit her lip and smiled lightly emboldened him just enough to pull out a tissue and start to scribble down Alex’s number on it, careful with every digit being clear and unmistakable. Halfway through, he could sense two sights following the movement of his pen. “If you feel like doing so, feel free to contact this number.” 

It didn’t take long before the girl actually texted Alex. He was surprised at first where did she get his number from, as luckily, she did not mention it and Alex was a bit too much hoping it could have been from his business card he sometimes gave to different people that he did not ask, but John encouraged him to “make friends”. Three glances before bed at their texts, and two months later he could safely break up and move out to cry himself to a glass of beer.

For all the years they had known each other, John did not tell Louis of the few years long incident that was dating Alexander. He couldn’t have known. But he apparently knew something else. “Have you heard from him later? Do you know what has happened to him?” There was off-putting amusement in his voice.

John could only shake his head at the friendly cruelty and the remembrance of Alexander’s eyes when he told him it was over.

“He’s a successful business lawyer, living in a nice New York apartment. And he’s going through a divorce with his wife after he cheated on her, fighting for custody over their children. That’s all I heard.” If anything, Louis sounded disappointed about not being let on more gossip.

Disappointment was not what John felt. At the sting, he could not stay in his place.

His height turned out not to be so much of an advantage in squishing between the heated-up guests on the dance floor as he had hoped it would be. His feet still were on the ground, among those of others, but only his eyes would shift to the said ground from time to time to check on the other feet. By the end of the trip, his black Oxfords would not be so black.

One more heel in his foot and he could pull himself out from the crowd. A deep breath to supply oxygen in place of various perfumes, and another one to try to calm himself down at the next sight of Alexander. 

The noise must have faded out his steps or whatever he was scrolling through was so engrossing, but Alex did not raise his eyes from above his screen. For a moment, he felt again like that young boy, amazed by another man, speechless and bashful. That boy lost the one he cried after when the time came. He couldn't be him now.

But promises were promises, and words were still stuck in his throat as he was standing there, six feet from uninterested Alexander. There was no right thing to say to a dumped ex who you still loved, years after breaking up. You can't rebuild burned bridges on their charred remains. 

Probably more truthfully, they were like total strangers. Time and life took what was theirs and tore it apart, scattered pieces of broken youthfully naive vows fell between. Nothing held them together like it used to. Was that for the better or worse- was still to come out.

Two more tip-toes and his nails started to dig into his palm so as not to shake too much. Still no reaction. Alexander would not take the lead this time. It had to be him. A quiet grunt was all he could muster up courage for.

And uncomfortable silence was all Alexander could give. One, two, three breaths in waiting, pounding heart starting to regret moving from his safe chair, two steps back and he would crash into the crowd and-

“John?”

It changed. Alex’s voice was by all means lower. Less present. Less caring about what was around him.

Slowly, Alexander glanced up at him, and John gulped heavily. His eyes lost their vibrant  hue and faded into grayish and matte. Cold, fuzzy pupils only scraped his surface and hovered on an unspecified point. Sight backed into its frame of small crow feet. John inhaled sharply. He was speechless.

“Sit down.” Alex waved his hand towards one of the empty chairs at his table. 

Trying to be as quiet as possible, John took his seat and moved the plate farther away, so he wouldn’t dip his cuffs in the sauce. “I- I didn't know you'd be here-”

“And you're asking if I knew about you?” It seemed as if only politeness kept Alexander looking at him from time to time. “I did know. You're Gilbert's closest friend and best man. But I'm also his friend he decided to invite over.”

John didn't know what kind of answer he had been expecting. “So…”

Alexander let out a tired huff, but for a fraction of a second, John could think there was a hint of mirth in it. “I know,” he added. “I know you were the one to give my number to her. Elizabeth told me. If that’s what you came here for-” he cut and fell silent, staring at Adrienne laughing as one of her older uncles spun her around.

Why would he be hoping for Alex to feel any different? He had no reason to have liking, or even sympathy, towards John. It was most rational to keep his distance, especially when they had… explained what happened.

“I don’t know what you’ve been doing. I did not know to know, but for me, there’s been a lot going on. We are no longer what- who we used to be.”

“Can I only say I am sorry?” Alex’s vague, non-opening, non-closing, divagation was sooner or later leading to a poor end, and he didn’t want their last interaction to be a bitter resignation like the previous time. “Can I, please, apologize, to you for what I did?”

Alexander only picked up his phone.

His breath may have hitched with disappointment, but he waited. He had nothing to lose, nothing. He could wait. If it all came to this, he would not forgive himself if Alexander never forgave him.

Night after night after Alexander moved on, John poured doubts about his handling of his fears into pillows, shirts and towels. Nervously checked his texts in vain hope for a sign of attachment, unbendable connection. Gulped glasses of tap water in the bathroom between staring in the mirror at his red, treacherous eyes. Late into night, hovered with his thumb over the call button from between crumpled sheets, biting on his trembling lip. Guilt and misery followed him around for an unmeasurable period.

“Do you want me to say ‘it’s fine’ and go our ways? Or do you want me to tell you I’ve missed you and beg for you to take me in your arms?” The way Alex’s voice wavered- “Our priorities may differ.” He trifled with a napkin. “I’ll go, tell Gilbert I had fun, but I have to go.”

Overwhelming powerlessness flushed over John as he watched Alexander walk away into the dense mass. Just like that, he could go. Disappear. Leave him. And there was nothing John could do. Just watch.

He couldn’t take it for long. His eyes began to look for something else, nervously checking out the table- until they spotted something in the napkin Alexander had touched. Curious, John pulled on the corner of what looked like a piece of rigid paper. A business card.

***

It took John a long time of rotating Alexander’s card in fingers to muster up courage to do anything with the new number. Alex must have left it there purposefully, which meant he did want John to contact him. On the other hand, he had walked out on John, clearly uninterested in whatever their last talk was leading to. But- This ‘but’ finally won.

Those ten minutes that evening two days after the wedding, while he was waiting for Alexander’s response, exercised his heart more than any cardio he had done in the last years. The sound of receiving it was the last blow. Three dry sentences.

Standing in the elevator, he couldn't control his foot from tapping - dad would tell him to wash better next time and stand like a man - and maniacally checked the number indicating the floor he currently was on, until the door opened with a quiet hiss and he tentatively stepped out on the corridor.

Taking a sharp breath, he rang the doorbell, and waited. With his hand on the handle. And waited. Not even 40 seconds passed and the door cracked open to let him in.

They had set up this meeting that John was punctual for, yet Alexander looked nearly surprised, unprepared, with only jeans, a plain tee, a pair of socks with koalas on them, and his, seemingly growing back, hair pulled back with a lost bobby pin. “Come in-” he closed the door and waved to follow him down the corridor.

Clean, light-wood themed space around the corner opened into a living room connected with a kitchen. Spare furniture in mellow whites and grays was matching with the tiny elements of decoration, an oak sculpture and two frames on the wall. From both of them were smiling two kids, a young boy and an even younger girl. The photos didn't look posed; the children were playing in a backyard, clearly happy, so that John could nearly hear their laughter.

“Something to drink?” Alexander turned back to him from the kitchen counter. “Oh- Phil and Angie, my kids. They are adorable, aren't they?”

John chimed in. There were some undeniable similarities between them and their father, though only the sister seemed to have taken after him his stunning hair color. Brother's brown was… bland. He quickly scratched that thought, judging children's appearance, especially in relation to features they have inherited after their parents, was more than cruel.

A plain cup landed on the coffee table in front of him and Alexander sat down, deep in the armchair. “So, when and why?”

Apart from those photos, there was nothing to look at. He slowly took a few steps back and sat on the sofa, staring out through a large window while waiting for Alexander to join him.

“When and why what?”

"When and why did you decide that you're dumping me." He slurped on his water with lemon. “I suppose it was before you gave my number to a random girl in the same place we went on a date to.”

“I never wanted to give you up…”

Alex raised his brow scornfully.

In a pointless attempt to push away the need to explain over to Alexander, he reached for his cup. Coffee. Sweet and creamy, and vanilla. Just like he liked it. Just like he used to take it back in the med school days.

He should be honest and tell the whole truth. But would he be able to tell it all? Wouldn’t Alex get angrier at him, would he not ridicule him for his absurd fearfulness and childish behaviors? “When…? When I realized something. Or, more correctly saying-” he faltered- “when I noticed something. You appeared… eager to settle down. I was not so. I was not so, because I was dependent on my father’s money, and not out-”

“Are you?” Alexander cut it, but in the context of it, the question sounded more lightheartedly than one would expect.

“N- no.” John shook his head, and Alex only nodded. “But it appeared to me that I couldn’t hold you back and should find a replacement- as wrong as it sounds.”

The glass halted midway towards Alexander’s lips, but he didn’t say anything at first. There was no disgust in him, nothing made his face recoil. He just sat there, looking at John with this tiredness that he had been holding for what must have been a long time before their latest meeting. 

“That’s the most immature thing I’ve heard in a long time,” he finally declared. “However, I am not entirely surprised, as to say, it is something of the kind.”

To forgot Alexander Hamilton could be cruel at times, if he wished to, was an inexcusable mistake; it unblocked something in John.

“It wasn’t easy for me without you. A hookup here, two dates there, but nothing made me want to stay-” not the most fortunate choice of words- “like you did. I understood my mistake, but I’ve always hoped at least you were happy where you were.”

Alex hummed. “I loved her.”

“But-”

“I cheated? Is that what you mean?” He smirked with amusement. “I did. I’m not saying it was a good thing to do, by no means. I can try to excuse myself only. Elizabeth was so often busy or uninterested. She was young and attracted to me. And… liberated. I loved my wife and our children.”

“Where are they now?”

“Kids? With their mother. She wants to take away my custody of them, claiming I’m unpredictable and unfit to being a father, though I suppose she is simply being petty.” How bitter he was about it could perish all sugar in the radius of 10 miles.

With all the emotions the subject was brining to Alex, John would think he would not share that information with a disliked ex-boyfriend. Why was he sharing that information with an ex-boyfriend?

“I asked you here because I wanted to get to know your side of the story. After you left, I was hurting. You meant a lot to me. And just like that, when I’m doing what’s in my power to be the best boyfriend for you, you just leave without a word of explanation. I thought about you a lot. I loved you.”

“And I loved- love you,” John spluttered before he could think twice. Needlessly.

Alexander backed further into his armchair, as offended by those words. "Don't even think about this. I may be-" he trailed off, apparently changing his mind about that sentence- "Sleeping around with a strange closeted gay man would not be helpful in trying to get my children back from the claws of my conservative christian ex-parents-in-law and their daughter."

It hurt. Rejection clenched John's jaw. He exposed his irrational feelings too rashly; he was childish and stuck in the past. To think he dedicated a decade to a man that was meant to mean nothing to his life felt like being a traitor to himself.

In the past, it might have proven insufficient, but now, he had nothing better than that. A few deep breaths to calm himself down would not do any harm. One, two- Something there did not add up. His thoughts were rushing, but one thing stood out from the mess. "They do not know you are bi?"

Alexander only shook his head absentmindedly, staring somewhere into the void 

His proud and cheerful from being queer Alex. His active and outspoken Alex. His Alex with a rainbow pin in his favorite denim jacket and pink-purple-blue tie and socks. His Alex joking about forming a harem of men and women. His never ashamed of his preferences Alex pushed back into the closet.

"You are not out public in front of your family either."

John could only stay silent.

Alexander put his glass back on the table.

"I think I should be going," John mumbled, standing up. "I know the way."

Alexander didn't protest.

Only when John's sweaty palm met the cold metal of the door handle, he heard behind himself. 

"John…" Alex's voice hadn't been quieter but for their dozy late nights cuddles in warm sheets those years ago. "I- I'm not saying no. You are… right-ish. But I have to get my children back, and even if- would introducing a new man to them be the best for them? I don't know… if you'd like a cup of coffee sometime, though…"

John could only stay silent.

The elevator truly was slow.

#fanfic #fic request #alexander hamilton #john laurens #historical lams

[commaclear]

Alright, time for an explanation.

Let's start this off by saying I am a liar, I am a conniving bastard who wants to watch the anonverse writhe in chaos and drama. Over my time here I have lied about many, many things but there is one thing that was always true, my love of hurricanes. My feelings for qaa are genuine, despite them not starting that way. Sure, at first i was in it because i wanted to spice things up but as i got to know them my views changed. I realised that they are my match. 

Darling, you have potential, you have a raging hurricane set deep inside your soul and when people catch a glimpse of that storm they run. Again and again and again you have been loved only for what others think you are but they dont realise you are exactly like me. You and me get how people work, we understand which strings to pull and which buttons to press. At the end of the day we are selfish, ruthless people in an inbox full of people who want to shun us for who we realy are. They all stand for community and shit but We know how to get what we want.

You and me together? Stormcloud, we could be unstoppable. Now i know the whole “almost leaving you at the alter” thing is realy shitty of me but if im being honest it was because of my own insecurities. When my swedish friend impersonated me and tol everyone i had tuberculosis (i do NOT) not one person noticed, not even you.

It was a test, and yes yes i know communication is a thing but blowing shit up is much more entertaning. If you went through with the wedding and neither of you noticed it would prove that 

a. Cqaa is still the pathetic jealous asshole they once were 

B. you two view me as a tool to make cqaa jealous and dont actually know me, after that id probably blow something up and make a long dramatic speech.

Now if you had stoped the wedding and preferably shot cqaa i would have gladly married you! And also made a long speech about how were the same and proposed starting an evil empire and then blown shit up.

There, thats the grand plan. Now wsd, ill be honest, i dont know if you ever loved me. I mean yes you loved the idea of me, you want someones love and affection but will you ever realise you can fight back? You are a force of nature and one day youre going to snap. Youre doubtlessly heartbroken over this whole fiasco and probably sobbing into qaas shoulder as we speak. Im just one more person whos broken your heart, i hope im the last. You have so much potential, you are sooo close to snapping. I dont know what it is but theres something about you that interests me. 

-ÆÆ anon

PS. I dont remember if i sent this in or not sorry if i forgot toodles! :)

I can see you delivering this speech to your former lovers during a thunderstorm.....

You're standing out in the open as torrents of rain and wind beat against you. Qaa and wsda stand huddled under a tree, barely protected from the cruelty of the elements, as you entreat them to join you in your madness. You gesticulate wildly as the storm worsens and the thunder roars. Flashes of lightning cast haunting, twisted shadows across your face as nature itself accentuates how far you've fallen from humanity.

Whether or not they will follow you into the storm remains to be seen...

#and dw you did send it i was just having trouble getting to my inbox on mobile #anons my beloved #Æ Æ anon #my own personal soap opera

[pearl-blue-musings]

hi elle bby <33 can i join your wine night again i always love ‘em so much <33

But with the letter M, the number 99, and bllk (bc newest obsession <3)

(ps ily and I hope you’ve been well bby 💜)

Kaze!!!!!! I always always love seeing you in my inbox! And of course you can joint!

M is pretty popular lol it’s “one of those weird moods” and your song is

Ahahaha we’re getting sad

With the key in your hand, you gently open the door of his apartment. You didn’t want to startle him in his heightened state, despite the fact that he knew you were coming. You slowly take off your shoes and stride into the kitchen. You weren’t sure if it was to celebrate your best friend or support him through not getting picked. You hear him yell in frustration and you quickly go to his room.

“Rin? It’s me.”

You gently call for Itoshi Rin and his intense gaze meets yours. He walks up to you and you immediately smell the liquor on his breath. At first his expression holds no emotion until he folds over and hugs you. His hands rub up and down your back and you can’t help but with contentment. You’ve always been attracted to him since you were children and was by his side through everything. Difficulties with his brother, being selected for blue lock, getting to be on the national team, being in the World Cup. But now it’s time for his second one and he was supposed to get the call today if he made the team. Throughout all the tough times, you have been there. At times, Rin wonders if he’s bad for you but pushes the thought aside as he hugs you tightly, not wanting anything to break this moment.

Rin continues to hug you tightly until he finally whispers in your ear, his fingers tracing the shell of your ear so he can talk to you better. “I made it again. Although,” he pushes back and rests his forehead against yours, “Sae will be be captain. I’m still on the team”

You beam at him and hug him back. “I knew you could do it, Rinnie.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Right right.” You giggle and try to exit the hug. When he’s not budging, you quirk your eyebrow up at him in confusion. “What’s the deal?”

He rolls his eyes and kisses your lips. It’s sudden but full of all the feeling he’s held back for years and years of knowing you. He starts to walk away and you follow him waiting for an answer. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m getting the girl I love a drink so she can celebrate with me.”

You stop in the hallway to try and process his words. “Did,” you start. “Did you say…?”

He picks out a glass for you and pours out for favorite wine. “Keep up would you? Don’t be like Isagi now. I maybe tipsy but I know my feelings.” You continue to stare at him in disbelief until he’s putting the glass in your hand.

“This isn’t you going crazy like when you did in blue lock against the U-20.”

“Sheesh, dumbass. No I’m just tired of holding my feelings back. Now let’s celebrate alright?”

Elle’s Wine Night!!

#elle’s musical moots #elle’s wine night #kaze ✨ #bllk matchup #I hope you like it!!!

[icyharrington]

Haiii guys just stopping by to say TYSMMMMMM for everyone who’s showed support for my new Eddie fic!! ESP y’all who reblogged and commented, I seriously appreciate it so fckn much lol.

I just wanna say heyyyy to any new followers and let y’all know that my inbox is always open to requests !! Especially now since I’m trying to get integrated into the fandom and get more content out there ^_^ ps if you’re in the ST fandom and you write, hit me up!! I’m gonna probably read&reblog some fic this weekend so any suggestions help teehee :3

If ur not into Eddie or billy (the only 2 ST characters I’ve written for so far) don’t worry, bc I will be writing for Steve soon too!^_^

OHH btw I can’t follow back bc this is a side blog but I am always open to making new friends!!💋💋💖💖

#Eddie Munson #stranger things #Steve Harrington #billy Hargrove #joe keery #dacre montgomery #joseph quinn

[notebookist]

2/31. explain my url? please see attached images.

this little blog just hit 1k followers!!! i am so, so excited and shocked ;_; thank y'all so much for taking a little time out of your day to join me; i've met so many amazing people here already! i plan on posting more reading, journaling, studying, and creating, so stay tuned ♡

#i am actually freaking out gahhh THANK YOU #ps my inbox is always open so let's be friends!! #studyblr #studyspo #dark academia #study motivation #studying #journaling #study aesthetic #100 days of productivity #studyblr community challenge #onmydesk #productivity #studyvan #stillstudies #philologystudies #sonderstudy #heyzainab #heypat #lookrylie #stuhde #academiix #elleandhermione #problematicprocrastinator #gloomstudy #eintsein #jeonchemstudy #notebookist scc #writing #study space

[1-800-iluvhockey]

I hope that these prom pics / semi face reveal helps y’all understand that I am just a 18 year old who wants to make y’all happy through my blog!!!

please reach out and message me!!

whether it’s a hi! or a friends? type message!!

through my inbox or private message (both are always open!)

I promise I’m just a big ball of sunshine who wants to spread some light into your lives (lol so poetic at 3 am) but PLEASE do not be intimidated to contact / approach me!

^^ many anons say that and it hurts my heart!!🤍 because I want to be the one that is open and has a “safe space” as a blog and a blogger!! so please oh please don’t be intimidated by me or be afraid to reach out!!! I’m here for you guys and love y’all oh so oh so much! my blog is a safe space to express & talk! always! <3

also I want to make a “about me” page for my blog, so send in some stuff that I should answer on that !! (please)

sorry for ranting I just wanted to let you guys know :.)

ps - I still love you anon or not <3

#abbster talks! #random 3am thoughts #please don’t be afraid of me

[blushnik]

I love love your works and posts. Always looking forward to more content from you. Anyways my question is that in Punisher season 2 really trashed billy. What do you think about it. Personally I Hate Krista and Madani. Do you think billy and frank would have eventually started a relationship if billy hadn't been outed for betrayal.

*SOBBING HAPPY NOISES* Lemme just- uh, lemme calm down, this was so much praise I didn't expect to see when opening the inbox 😭🙏💙💙💙💙💙💙

Okay, now to your question *breathing exercises initiated*

First, I just wanna say that I kinda pushed the entire season 2 out of my mind, especially THAT part (y'all know what I'm talking about, I ain't gonna say it out loud) cause it just really hurts but xD I think I can handle it for this one occasion.

Season 2 really went ahead and said: Let's just punish Billy Russo for 13 episodes straight, yeah? Cause the show's name is PUNISHER. And he's PUNISHER's nemesis, right? So we PUNISH him, that makes sense, right? *clown mask here* And people will totally cheer when we finally get rid of him cause he's BAD and deserved to be PUNISHED, RIGHT? *clown levels intensify*

Lemme just point out that Billy Russo DID get his punishment when Frank introduced him, quite intimately, to a mirror. He suffered consequences of it during his coma in his dreams and after with memory loss and all conditions that came with it. And that'd be okay to have at the start but NOT FOR THIRTEEN FKING EPISODES.

You can't beat up a character that much, for that long, and then expect us to be cheering when he meets the shittiest end you could possibly think of. Not to even mention the monumental waste of potential in that story.

Remembering what he did and being told what he did are two VERY different things. If he doesn't remember shit then ofc it doesn't make sense to him how could he ever betray Frank like that. For all he knows, everyone just turned against HIM and made up this lie, his best friends and people he cared about going after him for – in Billy's eyes – no reason. Forget Maria and kids and Rawlins, just the fact my best friend, the only person I ever truly felt connected to and trusted and cared about ground my face against a broken mirror would be A LOT to process.

I seriously expected Billy to remember what he's done somewhere in the middle but somehow the writers thought new characters nobody cares about and an overly complex plot is a better way to go? That letting Billy be just a confused screaming crying mess for the entirety of season 2 while ten meaningless subplots get resolved so he can die right after will somehow work?

Look, I get he was supposed to lose everything he had in season 1, that being not only his wealth and company and good looks (he's still hot shut up and those feeble scars, bitch, what was that, Shadow and Bone did a better job at doing accurate scars) but also his self-control, his control over his emotions, composure, his ability to keep his cool, smooth-talking, etc.

But you can't let him be the victim and then expect the audience to not empathize with him or feel sorry for him and to NOT be okay when he dies right after it seems he finally found some peace, happiness, and love (I hate Krista too but shit, he was so happy with those stupid flowers, Ben sure knew what he was doing when he gave those blue flowers to Alina right before everything turned to shit).

Granted, he did shitty things in season 1 and season 2 too but the difference is this;

In season 1, those were his conscious choices. He never was a victim even in his own story. He knew he stepped on other people in order to get himself higher, he decided when it comes down to it, better someone else than him. He decided that after building himself up, no price was too great to pay just to make sure he was never hitting the bottom again and he had no problem with doing it because he's incapable of compassion and 'even though he loves Frank more than anything or anyone, Billy loves himself just a bit more' – Ben Barnes' words, not mine.

But in season 2, he doesn't know about any of that. He does feel like a victim because from his POV, everyone is simply attacking and somebody close to him hurt him for things he can't believe he did because at that point, he believed he would NEVER be capable of doing such things. And when he does something shitty – it's because he feels attacked, he feels like he needs to protect himself and that he's pushed towards it.

Pretty fking hard to see him as a villain, at least for me -.-

It's almost like the writers were too scared to explore that emotional turmoil and impact it would have on him and how it'd change his character if he remembered. Which is SUCH a shame it hurts. Ben Barnes has put so much nuance and depth into Billy's character, he had dimensions and so many layers so just imagine what it would be to have all of that go through some serious angst and explore his relationship with Frank further.

But no.

Instead, we get this imitation of angst where Billy Russo becomes a punching bag and we're supposed to go OOOH HE STILL EVIL BITCH when he darest to punch back.

And don't get me started on the worst character kill-off I've ever seen. Just no. I am not even sharing my opinions on this cause it's too much to think about.

So there you have it, season 2 is trash in my opinion, they really did Billy so dirty while throwing in subplots and characters that were absolutely unnecessary to have. It could totally be just about Frank and Billy trying to come to some closure (violent or not) and maybe Dinah sprinkled in cause she got a lot of beef with Billy too.

Now just to quickly answer the other question, would they have started the relationship eventually if Billy wasn't outed for betrayal?

Marvel and the Mouse are cowards so ofc not in the canon, but in my humble hcs opinion, ofc YES. Frank's the only one Billy feels a connection with and vice versa. And while it's easier for Frank to care for other people than it is for Billy (since, unlike Billy, Frank is capable of compassion), nobody gets him and accepts him the way Billy does. I like to think of that quote from the Darkling for this:

"I've seen what you truly are and I've never turned away."

That's Billy @ Frank. Together with the reasons, I listed in the previous ask where I pointed out how they complement each other ^^

PS: I just wanna say I actually love Dinah but it may be because of my hcs. She was really getting on my nerves at the beginning and then I just made up stuff in my head that made me really fond of her, like Dinah dating Karen Page and being the good bro for Frank and Billy.

Thank you for the reading if you made it this far, THANK YOU for the kind words and keep invading my inbox if you like 🥰💙💙

#asks #brank #frankenbilly #billy russo x frank castle #frank x billy #more brank rant #i love you anon 💙

[cherryonigiri]

S/O that thirsts over anime/game guys

reposted bc wasn’t showing up in the tags + I want to keep nsfw under the cut

@nononononojustno asked: Okay so could you write a headcanon where 2 random boys (can you pick then? I love all of boys from hq) and Ushi-kun where they walk on their gfs fangirling or thirsting over another anime/game character?And she was talking how hot he is? How they would react?👀😂 have a great day/night and dont forget to eat and get rest, love you💕

A/N: hahahahaha i laughed while writing this. FYI these are all based on legit crushes i had on anime/game characters at some point in my life - see if you’ve watched the shows i’ve watched :) ILY I PROMISE I’M DOING MY BEST TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND GET ADEQUATE SLEEP MWAH. also i went overboard and added an extra boy bc why not. These are a little shorter since there were 4 characters but I hope you enjoy!

Content warning: implied nsfw for Atsumu + slight nsfw hcs for Matsukawa (both are under the cut)

PS: If anyone wants a spicy sequel/one shot for matsukawa i’m open to the idea 👀👀 let me know in my inbox!

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Ushijima definitely knows you’re into anime + games

Having visited your dorm room on multiple occasions he’s seen your extensive collection of manga, anime posters and you always seem to be playing on your switch whenever you have free time

Of course, he notices a significant portion of your collection is centered on male characters

And you’ve definitely mentioned a few games to him - Ikemen Sengoku, Code:Realize, Hakuouki (wow i’m really out here exposing myself) etc.

He doesn’t really mind though? Like - at the end of the day these are 2D men, whereas he is a very real boyfriend

At least he thinks he doesn’t mind

Recently, he notices that you seem to be on your phone a lot, and you seem to be texting the same group chat very often

He asks why and you laugh - it’s not actual text messages you’re just trying out a new otome/simulation game called Mystic Messenger. He finds the name silly but he just brushes it off he’s definitely J E A L O U S

Until one day he walks into your room while you’re calling one of your friends to freak out about that specific game

You sound kind of teary from outside the door “Oh MY GOD OH MY GOD I GOT THE GOOD ENDING WITH JUMIN!” and “[friend name] I THINK I CAN DIE HAPPY I’M MARRIED TO JUMIN HAN WHAT MORE DO I NEED IN LIFE” and “HE’S SO FREAKING ATTRACTIVE UGH I AM BLESSED”

He’s like who TF is Jumin and immediately bursts into your room looking pissed off

Poor babie is all like “you’re married?” and “if you had someone else you were interested in you should have told me.” “Who is this Jumin Han???” 🧐

Oh my god you start cackling, but you manage to tell him that NO you are not married and that Jumin Han is a fictional character from the game you’re playing

Ushijima looks confused after you explain - why would you find fictional men attractive when you’re already dating him?

Tendou almost dies laughing the next day when Ushijima tells him about what happened

Oikawa Tooru

Since practice finishes pretty late he usually goes to see you at your house at night, but tonight things wrapped up earlier - he’s excited to spend more time with you

You’ve finished up most of your homework so you’ve just been rewatching Attack on Titan since you’re super excited for the new season

You’re kinda distracted/have headphones on so you don’t hear your boyfriend knock on the front door. Your mom answers it and lets him in and he climbs the stairs

He can hear your fangirling (freaking out) over something as he walks towards your room

You jump in surprise when he opens the door, because you thought he would be a bit later but immediately release your pent up excitement

“Tooru just LOOK at him he’s such a bad ass like oh my gosh he literally has swords and he’s still running around slaying the MPs who have guns. God whenever he gets angry he looks so hot,” etc. etc.

You’re shoving your laptop in his face, showing him gifs and video of attack on titan, specifically the captain of the survey corps that you are obsessed with

Tooru gets it - for him its space, shitty alien films and astronomy. For you it’s video games and anime - or more specifically, handsome characters from said franchises

Even though he understand that it’s something you’re passionate about he still makes a whole show about whining how you’re in love with Levi Ackerman (lmao i still thirst over our favorite captain) instead of him

“y/n i’m taller than him! And more handsome! He has blood on him all the time! And he’s super annoying because he’s obsessed with cleaning.” *cue pouty Tooru*

You probably shouldn’t tell him that you are an avid follower of the levi x reader tag on tumblr

Tooru still somehow finds out you’re also reading reader insert fanfic and goes BERSERK with his pouting and whining - literally everyone and their mothers have heard his sob story about how “his darling y/n is leaving me for a short germaphobic asshole”

The rest of the team finds it hilarious - the end up pranking him by posting pictures of Levi in his school locker or texting them in the volleyball groupchat (Oikawa is Suffering™)

Makki and Mattsun get him a Levi keychain for his birthday and cackle when he chucks it violently into the nearest trash can

Miya Atsumu

Doesn’t really know you’re into anime/gaming at first

I don’t think that’s on purpose - Atsumu just has such a one track mind when it comes to volleyball and he’s always busy with practice

so he just kinda doesn’t really give all the anime merch in your room a second glance even though it’s a dead giveaway

I bet Atsumu secretly watches some superhero anime - probably shounen stuff like My Hero Academia, one punch man etc.

He probably starts to notice you’re into anime/games because you’ll play games on your phone/gaming device all the time

One day he notices you’re giggling + blushing while looking at your screen. He’s curious to he heads over to you when coach says they can have a break

Peeks over your shoulder because he wants to know what you’re playing - but instead he’s greeted by some 2D samurai guy called Harada Sanosuke asking you to marry him

“Huh, I didn’t know you were into this kinda stuff y/n” tries to sound playful but internally he is screaming / ?????? WOT I DIDN’T KNOW MY S/O WAS INTO OTOME GAMES

Atsumus pretty chill about it at first, he probably teases you a lot about playing the game but isn’t really bugged about it

“Maybe you should thirst over your boyfriend instead of a fictional character babe~”

I mean - he knows he’s attractive and why be jealous? You only really play the game when he’s busy and you don’t really let the game play seep into your dates/hangouts

But one time he walks in on you reading some ~spicy~ hakuouki x reader fanfic and he’s like are u serious

Like you were lowkey quiet screaming to yourself and muttering “omg omg omg” when he walked in and you definitely tried to close your laptop so he couldn’t see what was open in your browser

Too bad Atsumu has mad reflexes and manages to prevent you from making your computer go to sleep

Briefly skims whatever it was that you were reading and smirks at you

“Hey, if you really want something like this, why don’t you let your real boyfriend deliver” before kissing you

Matsukawa Issei

Look, Issei just wants a chill movie/tv show night where the two of you can bundle up on the couch and binge whatever anime you feel like

Has everything set up - this man is ready to go: snacks? he has all of your favorites, couch? filled with soft pillows + multiple pillows. Attire? Comfy sweatpants shirtless 🥵

Last time he chose the series for your binge sleepover so he let you choose what the two of you were gonna watch this time

Turns out you decided to watch Psycho-Pass - it seemed like a pretty cool show, he was down with the whole dystopia/psychological concept

Starts out pretty normal, is appreciating the action + mystery elements and is glad that you chose that show

About halfway through the anime you two decide to take a break - he goes to the kitchen to refill your snacks, leaving to stretch you back.

When he comes back with more food, he notices that you’re hunched over your phone, typing something

He sneaks up behind you after he puts the food down, “Whatcha reading there babe?” You squeak and try to hide your phone, but not before he sees the words kougami x reader typed into your tumblr search bar

Lit-rally exCuSE me what - he’s not mad (more amused than anything else) but he also kind wants to tease you (bc Mattsun is a little shit)

“Is that the reason you wanted to watch this show?” he asks playfully. “He’s pretty hot tho, I kinda agree with you there babe.”

Now that he’s released the floodgate, he can’t stop your occasional comments like “omg how does he look so GOOD when he’s punching someone” or “he could shoot me with his dominator and i’d still say thank you”

The thirst comments are kinda getting to him, so he decides to take things in a different direction

“Let me what I can show you with my dominator~” L M A O I’M SORRY THIS EXISTS

Suddenly you’re being pulled onto his lap, and pressed against his bare chest, Issei barely gives you time to adjust before he’s kissing you roughly, tongue plunging into your mouth

His hands wrap around your hips pressing your core closer to his own, and you can feel his hard-on pressing into your stomach

He’ll be sure to suck a dark hickey onto the side of your neck and his hands travel under your shirt, just to remind you who your real boyfriend is

Needless to say, you won’t remember a single thing about the second half of the show after the night is over couch sex? Couch sex 😏

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #ushijima x reader #oikawa x reader #atsumu x reader #matsukawa x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #miya atsumu x reader #matsukawa issei x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #shiratorizawa #oikawa tooru #matsukawa issei #aoba johsai #haikyuu hcs #seijoh #miya atsumu #inarizaki #hq imagines #haikyuu #spicy haikyuu

[lauras-collection]

So I was hoping an angsty one with happy ending, Mobster Tom Holland arranged married to reader. He doesn't like her, refuses to talk to her, is bad boy and so much angsty, ignoring her etc etc but when he's shot she's there by his side when no one else is and he realizes how nice she is and apologies, but she makes him win her trust and love. And then a happy ending. Sorry of it's too detailed and long 😅

~clearing out my inbox, please don’t send any more requests~

Okay, so this request was elaborate enough to make a whole series from it :D I picked the being shot scene to write because it seems like a key scene? Anyway, sorry for the long wait and I hope you like it :)

Ps.: this is my first time writing mob!tom. it was a lot of fun so thank you for requesting that :)

Warnings: angst, blood, guns, being shot, thinking about a possible death? (let me know if there’s anything else I should mention)

-

This was supposed to be an easy job. In and out. But somewhere along the way, things had gotten out of hand. Tom’s got the suspicion that there’s a rat among his men. Someone who gave information to the rival.

The merchandise he’d planned to steal was nowhere to be seen. They’d taken it some other place before he got there.

Tom curses under his breath, then everything happens so quick he can’t even plan his moves the way he usually likes to.

Shots ring through the empty warehouse, the men who’d accompanied him immediately pulling their guns, firing back. But it’s already too late. Tom’s been hit. Startled, he places his hand over the wound in his side. You told him time and time again, to wear a bulletproof vest. But he’d refused. How would that look to his opponents? Besides, he’d rather get shot than do anything you tell him to.

“Tom? You alright?” Harrison calls out over the gunshots and Tom finds himself nodding. He needs to do something. So he pulls out his gun as well, firing off shots, blinking as he tries to focus on the people ducked behind steel pillars. He’s behind one as well, he doesn’t know if he’d still be alive if he wasn’t.

“We need to get out of here!” Someone shouts, it sounds like Harry but Tom can’t be too sure. Tom doesn’t want to leave, doesn’t want to admit defeat. But he’s still clutching his side, blood covering his hand, and his sight is starting to go fuzzy.

“C’mon. Let’s get moving!” Is the last thing he hears before he loses consciousness.

-

Despite Tom being a grade-A asshole to you most of the time (whenever he’s not ignoring you, that is), you still worry about him. He’s your husband after all, even if you didn’t choose to marry him. You know that deep down he has a heart. It’s just surrounded by thick concrete walls that had built up over the years of being the heir to one of the most powerful mobs in London.

Your marriage was a means to bring his clan ahead. Your family had been involved with the Hollands for decades, your marriage was planned even before you were born. There really hadn’t been anything you could’ve done about it. The fact that Tom had a deeply rooted hatred towards you didn’t deter either of your parents.

You’re arm candy most of the time, only accompanying Tom whenever there’s a public event he has to attend, and it frustrates you beyond belief. So you’re left worrying at home any time Tom goes out to defend or expand his territory. It’s not like you really want to stand in the line of fire. But you’d appreciate being seen as more than just the mousy wife who stays at home because that’s not who you are.

The front door crashes open all of a sudden making you jump up from your place on the sofa. Several voices are urgently talking and you can’t quite make out what they’re saying.

When you finally make it to the hallway you watch as Harrison and Sam carry Tom up the stairs on a makeshift stretcher. He’s covered in blood, his face pale. Your heart sinks into your stomach at the sight. Yes, you’ve been worried about him getting hurt, but you never expected it to ever actually happen. Tom has always had this invincible aura around him. Like nothing could harm him. But now he’s laying there, covered in his own blood, barely conscious.

“What happened?” You finally manage to ask. The question isn’t directed at anyone in particular, you just hope you’ll get an answer. You follow them upstairs to the bedroom you’re supposed to share but you’ve been the only one sleeping in the bed. Tom often spends the night in his office or the living room. It’s like he can’t stand to be close to you. They lay Tom on the neatly made bed and you hear Tom groan out in pain.

“Someone must’ve told on us” Harrison explains in a rush. “The merchandise was gone and they were waiting for us. They started shooting as soon as we got there. Tom got hit”

“I can see that!” You shriek. Your hands are shaking, eyes burning with tears as you watch Harry fuss around with Tom’s clothing. What if the bullet hit any vital organs? What if Tom doesn’t make it? The thought scares the shit out of you.

“The doctor’s gonna be here any minute now. Can you go and wait for him downstairs?” Harrison asks and you know that’s his way of giving you an out, an opportunity to catch your breath and comprehend the situation. But you can’t.

“I’m not leaving him!” You insist, making everyone’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. It’s not a secret that your marriage isn’t built on love. They see how Tom treats you. At the beginning they tried to reason with him, make him at least be civil with you. But Tom was stubborn. He just doesn’t like you.

Harrison thinks about your words for a moment, then slowly nods. “Okay,” He turns to one of the other men in the room “Dave?”

“I’m on it” then Dave leaves the room, presumably to wait for the doctor at the front door.

You make your way to the side of the bed and clasp Tom’s hand in yours. “I told you to wear a bulletproof vest, you idiot” You scold him because you don’t know what else to say. Tom huffs at that and you can imagine him rolling his eyes behind his closed lids. But he squeezes your hand anyway.

Hectic footsteps make their way upstairs and then the doctor’s there, telling you to leave the room.

“I’m not leaving him,” You say for the second time that night, your grip tightening on Tom’s hand.

“It’s not gonna be pretty,” The doctor says warily as he prepares his instruments.

“It’s not the first time I’m watching someone get fixed after being shot” You snap back at him. You’re not the delicate little girl everyone seems to think you are.

The doctor finally accepts the fact that you won’t leave your husband’s side and gets to work.

“He’s going to be alright, isn’t he?” You ask when the doctor packs up his things after the procedure. Tom is sleeping now but you can’t seem to let go of his hand.

“If there are no complications” The doctor nods “He should take it easy for a couple weeks though. He’s lost a lot of blood. I’ll check back in with you tomorrow. Call me if anything changes”

-

For the next couple of weeks, you take care of Tom. He doesn’t really know why you do it. He’s done nothing to deserve you treating him so lovingly. He thinks that it’s maybe just because that’s part of your vow to each other. In sickness and in health. But he knows it’s more than that. Your heart is so pure that you take care of him even though anyone else in your position would leave him to die. You haven’t left his side for longer than half an hour since he was carried in by his brother and best friend.

And Tom finally sees that he needs to treat you better. And right there, as he watches you babble on about something you saw on the news, he vows to himself that he’ll never let anyone hurt you, least of all him.

Masterlist

#Mob!Tom #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland fic #tom holland scenario

[mostly-marvel-musings]

Mostly a Writing Challenge!

A/N: Hello lovelies! Here’s the thing, I’ve decided to host a writing challenge to celebrate 600 followers milestone. 

Rules -

Since this is a Marvel fan fiction blog, let’s stick to Marvel characters? 

Celebrity fan fiction is definitely welcome, but nothing out of the MCU fandom. 

You choose your genre, the characters, your preferred pairing, AUs, OFCs whatever floats your boat.

You don’t need to reserve a title, everyone’s writing style differs and no two stories with the same name can be similar. 

Series, one shots, drabbles, mood boards, anything & everything is appreciated! 

Stay away from incest, non-con, dub-con and anything too violent or sensitive. Pretty please?

You’re not required to stick to the story shown in the film (if you’ve seen the films), the title can evoke another thought, another story altogether and you can run with it! 

Deadline... end of 2021 (I know life can get in the way and we all have other commitments and priorities). 

Please do not forget to tag me in your stories! I will be making a masterlist at the end of this challenge. 

Now for the challenge, honestly, the sucker for romance in me has been tempting me to tempt you to write your stories based on classic romantic movies. Valentine’s is coming up and all that. Is that cool with y’all?! 

Here’s the list of movies: 

The Proposal 

Definitely, Maybe 

While You Were Sleeping

The Holiday

An Affair to Remember

Never Been Kissed

Dirty Dancing

My Best Friend’s Wedding

Pretty Woman (I’m begging y’all to do a Tony AU with this!)

Singing in the Rain

10 Things I hate about you

Love Actually (yes, it’s on here. Deal with it)

The Princess Bride

Serendipity 

PS: I Love You

Crazy, Stupid, Love

Me Before You

A Walk to Remember

The Sweetest Thing

He’s Just not that Into You

Tagging a few of my friends who I think might be interested: @just-the-hiddles​  @lancsnerd​ @ohdearhiddles​  @thorfanficwriter​ @blueberrythor​  @another-stark-sub​  @letsby​  @godofplumsandthunder​ @thevanishedillusion​ @marvelgirl7​  @boop-le-snoot​  @downeyreads​  @tom-hlover​  @winteralpine​  @gaitwae​ @thors-soft-cheeks​  @jobean12-blog​  @supraveng​

Hope you guys participate and encourage your friends to do so as well. Reblogs for signal boost are always appreciated. 

Looking forward to reading all of your wonderful stories. Good luck and have fun! Inbox is always open in case of any doubts ;))

Signal boosts are always appreciated!

#600milestone #writing challenge #marvel writing challenge #mostly marvel musings #marvel fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #marvel rpf #celebrity fanfiction #mcu writing #marvel characters #romantic movies

[poutyniall]

About your mother, I may have the same struggle but with my father so I know what it feels like to just simply be exhausted of the family you were born in. Idk anything about your financial condition but bestie the best way for you (and for me) is to collect enough money and move out. You said it yourself in that post about the Pompei tower that distance puts alot of things in perspective and lets you breathe a little clearer. Speaking as a person who's tried to be silent and diminish her entire existence just so she could get a little peace, these parents will not stop. They WILL find a way to make you go through terrible feelings and then act the victim. It's sad but it's true and it's time we take life into our own hands.

And I know it's easier said than done, especially if there's a cultural barrier to overcome too woth moving out, but I believe in you. We can do this. I'm rooting for you!!!

Ps, my inbox is always ALWAYSS open if things get overwhelming bcz people who provide safe places to others often times don't have them for themselves, please don't hesitate to shoot me a text and we can talk through whatever new shit your mom cooked up (I'm sorry but I can't be respectful to her after reading all the bad ways she makes you feel)

My father always made sure, and still does, I had everything I needed when it comes to material things but for the emotional and psychological part it's like I grew up without a father. He has always been a mere physical presence. One of the things that hurts me the most is the fact that I have never ever heard him say my name (which I hate but they both chose). But I try to ignore the hurt from the present also because I know that even if he'd start caring now it's not going to fill the emptiness that the little me grew up with. It's not gonna fix that. But I'm also trying to focus more on the skills I got from those painful experiences. It's because I was almost always alone (apart from school and form 6/7 pm), since I was 11 years old, that I love reading and books, they've been my friends since then, and I know how to stay by myself and gods and all the saints above help whoever the fuck try to steal my alone time from me, I need it! And always thanks to that I am responsible, whatever the fuck that means, and I can take care of myself, of my body at least. And it thanks to the fact that I could never count on them that I can get by almost everything on my own. This also means I don't know how to ask for help, but let's not focus on that now. Example: every time I know I'm going to drive somewhere farther from the area I live, which happens because I like going on adventures with my car, that by the way is just a Fiat 600 so it's quite small and omg! one of my short term goals is to go to Roma, just me and my little car! Aaaahhh I gotta do it!! Sorry, I get distracted easily. So anyway, when I know it I always check the water, the oil, the tires… I prevent.

And all this rumbling to say that I hope you have a better relationship with your mother instead.

And yes, money is always one of the biggest problems. I can't afford do move out but still the main goal is to break the connection inside, because yes, I could move to the other side of the world but what's the point if I still have the tiny version of her in my head?

This way of acting is very subtle and cruel, like privacy, personal space and no don't exist for her. She always goes through my stuff, walks into the bathroom without knocking, used to eavesdrop my conversations but she can't do it anymore because I only text now, hugs and kisses me even if I say not to and what's her answer? ''Jesus, I'm your mother, can't I even hug you know? I don't even have this right anymore?'' and of course I feel guilty. And I also feel guilty saying this, but this whole dynamic is soo damn toxic.

Aish, I ended up venting, I'm sorry. And thank you so much my dear, for the kindness, the availability, the time you gave me, for everything. And same here, you can talk to me anytime and about everything, this will always be a safe place for everyone.

Also, I'm rooting for you too!! We'll get there, one little step at the time.

[a-s-levynn]

UPDATE 24/04/15: current plans

Instagram for my drawings: parhelion_creations

Sleep Token art challenge: A Series of Small Offerings

The offerings so far: link

Tiny Token

Sleep Token Reference Archive [currently under constructuon, coming soon <- image collection for artists and cosplayers]

My open love letter to ST tumblr community

(Link to subs dash, so i can find it faster)

(Cool post of ST artists i wanna keep an eye on but you should too)

What i use and how i shade | part 2 sketching

I usually need a minute for my inbox to be answered, but it is neither ignored or forgotten.

find my frequently used tags in the tags of this post

Most importantly, be warned: i’m not smart.

Call me Levynn, Lev, Vynn or whatever tickles your brain, i'm not picky. I’m from mid Europe. For the pronoun thing.. i really couldn’t care less about what you all refer to me as long as i know you are talking to/about me so feel free to use any. I’m just a creature.

[Sidenote to this: if i ever disclose my legal name to you for whatever reason please only use it in private spaces and only if it is absolutely neccecssary. I can get quite uncomfortable when precieved as me as in the specific person that i am and not just a living-thinking thing? I am a person obviously but i'm not fond of being precieved as a specific one. And i kinda have a love-hate relationship with my name because of it? Because it identifies me specifically as me. I know how it sounds and kinda makes little sense if you are not familiar with what i'm experiencing here, but just please let's stick with nicknames and psuedonyms in relation to me.✌🏻]

So:

This my personal blog, not a fanblog

There is a bunch of random nonsense, 'cause i can't keep up sideblogs and again, this is not a fanblog

I welcome interactions, anon option always on for your convenience

I do not have any DNIs, i'm not anyone's internet parent, all i ask is please don't make it weird

If you have any questions out of curiosity or need clarification on something to feel safer around here or you have advice or just bored or you don’t have anyone else to talk to about something exciting or not so excitng, feel free to go in my askbox or messages any time.

Altho i might need a day to get back to you, it all depends on my mental state. I have the anon option turned on because i know that’s easier for some people. I'm also horrible at keeping alive conversations.

Feel free to tag me in things. Like.. i really do enjoy tagging games not just from mutuals but from anyone and eveyone. I sometimes forgot i got tagged but that’s me having a memorystorage of a goldfish. But please tag me in stuff without a second thought!

ps: if you want an extra friend on discord (or even IG tho that one is not hard to find if you know me here) just shoot a message to me here for my @ any time, i just don’t want it to be out there in a post permanently for random peeps. I semi-regularly play destiny 2 if anyone fancies some quality gametime with yours truly.

dividers on the post by: saradika (x,x)

#levynn tries to think #a series of small offerings #levynn tries to draw #levynn answers #sleep token #descending

[krewbies]

I'm so glad to see Bolin fics bc your girl has had a crush on him for awhile. Can you write something where Bolin proposes? Timeline wise, sometime after saving the city in book 4? 👉👈

awww i love this :( i hope you enjoy!!!

••••••

The last month had been absolutely insane. You and Bolin had both been busy- the Earth Kingdom was pulling itself together again, Republic City was still recuperating from Kuvira’s attack, but there was still a sense of peace. For now, everything had been resolved.

Bolin. Boy, was he thankful for you. You had supported him, rooted for him, since the days when the two of you had just been two clueless teenagers in a big city. Sure, you gave him a hard time about unknowingly working under a fascist regime, but that was quickly forgiven after he helped save the Beifongs. And, sure, sometimes you could be overbearing, you didn’t want him to hurt himself after all!

It was so daunting for him, standing in a flashy jewelry store. He had grown up poor after all, he was used to just scraping by with Mako. But Mako wasn’t there, and neither were you, but the memory of a wedding- Varrick and Zhu Li’s- was fresh in his mind. 

It was standing there, seeing you in the crowd, sitting with his brother and closest friends, glossy eyed and awe stricken, that he realized how ready he was to let you know just how much he appreciated and adored you.

The ring he picked was small and modest. Big and expensive wasn’t exactly something that either of you enjoyed. Your relationship had always been surrounded by chaos and dramatics and other people’s conflicts, and deep down, you both just wanted simple after all these years. You weren’t teenagers anymore, and there were no more wars to be fought, and there was finally room for peace.

~

“It’s so pretty.” You sighed, glancing up at the evening sky. Bolin turned his head to admire you, his eyes following the curve of your nose and examining the color of your eyes as if he hadn’t already memorized his favorite color a thousand times.

“Well, I think you’re a lot prettier.” His voice cracked. That always happened when he was nervous. And he was wringing his hands. You decided not to ask. Instead, you laughed, trying to ease whatever was running through his mind. He wasn’t one to hide anything he was feeling, so he’d tell you when he was ready to.

“Y’know, it’s so weird that we met here- wow, it’s been 5 or 6 years now.” You swung your legs and ran your hands over the wood of the bench. It was nostalgic, and reminded you of when things were simple, and you reached out to take his hand. 

Now or never. Now or never. His hands were oddly sweaty too. Huh. He stood up abruptly, back turned to you, leg shaking slightly.

“Um, okay, so, I’m, uh, usually good at talking, but I’m not right now because I love you so much and I don’t want this to end badly, I feel like you feel the same way but I’m not sure and-”

“Bo!” You stopped him in the middle of his speech, turning his body around and taking his face in your hands. He glanced at you as you stroked his cheeks, taking a deep breath. “What’s wrong?” You continued after a few long seconds of silence. He looked down at the ground and hesitantly opened his mouth again.

“(Y/N), I just... I love you so much. And, and all of the stuff that’s happened in the last few years has made me realize how lost I would be without you. You laugh at all my jokes, and you’re always there whether things are going good for me or not, you always make sure I’m okay,” He took a deep breath and shot you a sweet smile, and reached a hand up to twist the piece of hair on his forehead. “And Mako likes you! That’s so great! I’m saying so much, I don’t even know where I’m going. At... At the end of the day I just want you to be safe and happy, and I want me to be happy too, and I would be happiest if,” He slowly knelt down, taking one of your hands in his, and proudly showing you what he had picked out. “If you would just be mine forever?”

Your heart raced. This wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be. You wanted to cry. You had never entertained the thought of him asking you; it had always felt too good to be true. That he was so perfect, and he only wanted you. A million thoughts ran through your head, but one was louder than the others, and it helped you utter a simple response.

“Of course.” You stared at each other for a moment, hearts racing and the cool night air surrounding you. Finally, finally, a smile sprung on his face as he picked himself up, placing both of his hands on your shoulders.

“Really?” You stopped yourself from giggling at his shocked expression,

“I’d be an idiot to not want to spend the rest of my life with you.” You replied, tears threatening to spill. He engulfed you in one of the best hugs you’ve ever had, warming you up inside and out. This was it. This is what all of that was for. 

He kissed you softly after he pulled away. “Wait! We have to go tell everyone!” He was so giddy, rocking up and down on the balls of his feet, shaking you. “This is so exciting. I get to marry you.” Every reservation you had ever held in your life was gone, and they were replaced by the knowledge that he would be yours and you would be his.

~

i hope you enjoyed!!!! i just wanted to say, thank you guys so much. I made this blog thinking it would just be a fun past time but you are all so kind, my inbox has been flooded with the kindest things, i spent like an hour crying over it earlier. i’m sorry its been a few days since i last put something out, ive just been insanely busy and ive been jumping between writing things because i have a ton of requests. i just wanna give you all a hug! i feel like i hit 100 followers overnight and now i’m at around 140, its surreal. thank you. ps, this can perhaps be read as a sequel to the hcs i did about the airbender? but its up to u ;)

#bolin x reader #krewbies writes #bolin #lok x reader #lok imagine

[sk-lumen]

A dedicated day for advice would be amazing! Such a great idea for a great writer like your elegant self ♥️

I also have a question dear Lumen. I often get told that I am attractive (please don’t get me wrong I’m just using this as a starter for my question and more like a background info to my situation) but I’ve come to understand that being physically attractive combined with intellect, is lonely…? I wonder if there are other women who experience the same feeling and are going through the same situation as I am.

Lumen, I am a very sociable female and while I do appreciate my little circle I do enjoy inviting other women out to boost great connections but, they always find a reason to turn my invitation down… this even happens with my female cousins too! I don’t even know what to do anymore. Lumen, it has put me off from inviting people… I value my energy and I’ve stopped trying. I am just wondering is the problem me or is it just… Envy? I once invited a male friend to just hang out normally and he as well came up with a reason… So I am very cautious now when trying to boost my social circle… I’m just wondering why… I would truly appreciate some of your valuable advice on how to handle these situations and rejection perhaps or whatever the issue may be. Many thanks if you respond. Sending peace and blessings your way 🙏🏼

Hi darling,

You are so sweet, thank you! ☺️✨ Writing is dearest to my heart, so I am always gracious about such compliments.

As a sidenote, I noticed the recent anons have a tendency to apologize for being/feeling attractive? There’s no need! I’m actually happy that you feel confident in your skin and are aware of your own beauty, as should we all. Own it ladies, there is no need to apologize.

Mind that intellect plus beauty is the killer package after all, and women blessed with this often have the highest standards. A lady that has only beauty, may not have the insight to raise her standards as she should. So, certainly, it can be a lonelier path simply because you filter out so much unnecessary drama and lower vibrational experiences.

Now for your question. If this seems to be a repeating pattern in too many situations, I would say it is a good thing to practice mindfulness and self-awareness, so as to determine what is the common cause. If it happens with several people, it is on the people, if it happens with everyone, it may be that you are either drifting in the wrong circles to begin with, or there is something to be improved in your approach, who knows? Regardless, I very much agree with being cautious with what you invest your energy in! After all, if you say yes to every cup offered to you, that is often times how we can poisoned, no? High standards protect us from bad experiences.

You could also directly ask one of those people after encouraging openness in your conversation, it is always easiest to go straight to the source. You may be surprised how forthcoming people are if you open a channel of transparency in a way that makes them feel comfortable and relaxed.

What may also be the cause is your energy as you approach the situation. Perhaps the power dynamic is off, in that you are investing too much of yourself, being too involved in the chase, so that others feel overwhelmed or put off because there is little emotional space for them to unfold/respond as well. It is quite alright, we have all been there, especially in romantic relationships. I call this the power dynamic dance; it is also the reason why masculine men don't like being chased, because it leaves little space for their own masculinity to unfold. If that is the case, try balancing out this energy by relaxing into yourself & focusing on yourself more for a while.

Meanwhile, leave in the background of your mind some positive affirmations on attracting high value friends/acquaintances into your circle, and trust in the universe. Opportunities will come! Just be patient, and focus on your growth and journey in the meantime. Let me know if such affirmations would be helpful, I could whip something up with this theme in mind.

Best wishes darling, hope you have a lovely weekend ahead. 💖

💌 PS: On Fridays my inbox is officially open for relationship advice. Whether it's break-ups, crushes, challenging situations or any other random/strange questions, I will do my best to offer guidance. 💌

-Lumen

#relationship advice #relationships #high value dating #low value dating #glow up #tips #ask