#put my two fave ships in a room and make me cry

[momentofch-aos]

M's Marvel Thought of the Day (tis a long one - hold onto your hats)

Two similar conversations Daniel Sousa is likely to have had at two different points in time.

tw: mentions of PTSD

this got wildly out of control and long in the second part, i apologise

[ The Stark Mansion - 1947]

As he stepped out onto the patio that Jarvis had pointed him towards, he caught sight of her by the pool. It had been a little over 48 hours since they'd shared the kiss in his office. Since then, they'd attempted to leave the office to finally get that drink only to find out Jack had been shot and then jumped straight into their investigation. Between guarding Jack and pursuing any lead they could find, they had probably had 3 hours of sleep between the two of them in two days, and if Jarvis hadn't arrived at the hospital and dragged them to Stark's for dinner, they no doubt would have carried on till they collapsed.

Although he knew how exhausted she was, he couldn't but take in her graceful beauty as she perched on the edge of the pool, both legs of her jumpsuit rolled up to her knees as she dipped her toes in the water mindlessly. Clearly deep in thought, she didn't sense his presence until he came up besides her, her face turning to smile up at him.

"Mind if I join you Carter?" She gestured to the spot besides her as he very carefully lowered himself to the floor. Arranging his prosthetic so it hung over the edge of the pool, he sat a little further back than her. "What's rattling round that big brain of yours Peggy?"

He noticed the change in her demeanour after they'd visited Jack for the first time. He was still unconscious, pale and small of stature against the sheets. There had been a falter in Peggy's expression, almost imperceivable, before the mask she usually wore resumed.

"It's silly really." Her foot moved in the water, the ripples moving away from them as he watched.

"Tell me anyway."

"In the desert, Mr Jarvis and I... we argued. In the heat of the moment he said something, that he has since apologised for, but the more I think about it, the more it seems to be true." He didn't push, that wasn't the way to handle Peggy. Instead he waited for her to continue when she was ready. "Everyone around me dies." The catch in her voice as the words spilled out made his head immediately pick up, taking in her now slightly hunched shoulders.

"Peg..."

"Cannot say it isn't true. My brother, Michael. Steve. Colleen. And now Jack..."

"Jack Thompson is too stubborn to die. You know he'll be making us crazy for years yet. Plus remember the doctor said things were looking positive. He's stable and improving." Daniel tried to reassure her.

"Still. It seems to be a theme in my life. Everyone I care about comes into danger by being near me. Ana. Jarvis. Jason. You."

"That is not your fault." She moved to rebut his statement but found herself cut off, his hand landing on her arm in a soft grip. "Ana made the choice to go and confront Frost, she said so herself. Jarvis ran head first into danger at the first opportunity. And Steve... he made his choice, for the greater good. And as for me, it's my job Peggy, just as it is yours. We put ourselves on the line to protect everyone else, no one forced me just as no one forced you."

Her gaze was soft on him as she listened to his words, the honesty shining through. She leant into his shoulder, resting her head against his neck.

"I don't want to lose anyone else." She mumbled, feeling his strong arm loop around her waist and scoot her closer.

"I don't either, but the best we can do is continue to fight. Together, if that's what you want."

"It is. If you'll have me Chief, I think I'd like to stay in California for a while." She smirked up at him, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

"I think we can handle that."

***********************************

[The Lighthouse - 2020]

Despite being familiar with all the Shield bases in his own time, the extensive corridors and seemingly endless levels of the Lighthouse had been completely alien to Daniel. Luckily, he'd been accompanied by Daisy for most of the time since they had returned to this Shield team's timeline. It had been a steep learning curve for Daniel in the past three weeks, but the team had been endlessly supportive and helpful as he learned to adapt.

This morning Fitz had been making some improvements to his prosthetic, which Daniel had thought was pretty much perfect until Fitz adjusted something and there was a relief of pressure he hadn't even realised he'd been able to feel. The engineer made him run drills and lift weights to monitor the performance of the limb and once he deemed it satisfactory, he'd been let go, with the knowledge that there would be periodic adjustments in the future.

In awe of modern technology, he wandered down towards the bunks to find Daisy. She had been excited to see what upgrades Fitz would have in store for him. Rounding the corner to her bunk, she saw Jemma quietly shutting Daisy's bunk door, flinching slightly at the click of the lock. When she spotted Daniel, she put a finger to her lips and beckoned him towards the common room. Doing as he was told, he caught up to the biologist.

"What's wrong?" He asked in a hush tone.

"Everything will be okay, I need you to know that." Jemma said to the visible concerned man out of time.

"Jemma..."

"Daisy's having a bit of a day. She suffers with these anxiety attacks occasionally, which is expected after everything she's been through." Daisy has filled him on a lot of the team's activities before they met him and he'd read her file when she handed it to him a couple of weeks ago. "Similar to what you might call 'shellshock'. We call it PTSD now."

"Is she okay?" The concern laced through his voice.

"She's asleep now. Alya fell while they were playing and hurt herself... she's absolutely fine, clumsy like her father. But I think an overtired Daisy and the fact she feels responsible for everyone around her, may have just pushed her to the edge." Jemma fidgeted nervously with her sleeve. "She feels so much all the time, for everyone, that when she gets overwhelmed it bubbles over. She just needs time, needs to actually sleep. Hopefully, now she'll be okay for a few hours."

"Are you saying she's not been sleeping?" Jemma shook her head.

"She struggles with a proper sleep pattern outside of missions, you know what it's like. But I think with everything Enoch told us and the fact she knows things are changing, everyone...moving on. I've found her up at all hours a few times when I've been up with Alya."

"I didn't know-"

"That's not your fault Agent Sousa- Daniel sorry." Jemma caught herself. "Daisy bottles things up, doesn't want to inflict her pain and worries on anyone else. She's a tough person. If she doesn't want you to know something, you won't."

"Still..." His hand carded through his hair.

"Just give her some time, I'm sure..." Jemma was cut off by a tremor rippling through the base. The pair locked eyes before they both took off at a sprint towards the source. Flexing the new prosthetic, Daniel powered down the corridor to reach it first and find the door locked. He stepped to one side as Jemma appeared, pushing a fingerprint to the lock pad, the system disengaging as the door swung open.

Without much forethought to his own safety, Daniel threw himself through the door, taking the sight of Daisy curled into a tight ball on one side of her bunk, fists clenched in her comforter. Her face was scrunched and tears streaming out of closed eyes.

"Dais- Daisy, wake up sweetheart. Daisy." Daniel knelt by the side of her bed, a hand on her shoulder. "Cmon sweetheart. Daisy, come back to us. You're okay. We're here. We've got you." His hand cupped her cheek in an attempt to wake her and she leaned into the contact, the tremors settling as her eyes blinked open slowly. "There she is."

"Daniel? Whats.." Her eyes flickered to Jemma, who was crouched besides Sousa. "How bad?"

"Rattle the chandelier, not knocking down walls." She joked, smiling down at her friend. "How are you feeling?"

"Still fuzzy." Daisy pivoted herself into a sitting position, realising as he let go that Sousa had still had a hand on her arm. "Sorry."

Jemma sighed besides him, making him shoot her a look before she started to explain. "She always apologises. This is not your fault." She fixed her best friend with a look, which made Daisy crack a smile.

"Is Alya okay?" The worry hit her all at once as she remembered what had happened.

"She is absolutely fine. Mack took her for ice cream. She's having the time of her life."

"Good. Good, she deserves that." Daisy's gaze fixed on the blanket now and Jemma gripped her knee.

"She loves you Daisy, just like we do. Okay? You're her aunt." Daisy nodded in agreement. "You need rest, you've been pushing yourself too hard."

"Yes doctor." She mumbled, a small smirk on her face. Daniel who had been watching the interaction from his perched position, moved to straighten up and give her space to relax, only for Daisy to reach out and grab his hand, a silent question in her eyes.

He nodded and pulled up the chair from the corner of the room. Jemma hid her smirk as she bid them both goodbye.

"You good?" Daisy asked as she settled back against her pillows.

"I'm okay." He wasn't going to push her to talk about it, despite his endlessly curious about the woman in front of him.

"Thank you for staying, it... gets a little much."

"For as long as you want me here, here is where I'll be." He said, sitting back in the chair.

"You might not want to say that." She murmured. His questioning look made her sigh a little. Her instinct was to bury everything, to hold it her chest and keep it to herself. But something about him made that feeling wasn't so strong. Maybe it was a mirroring thing. He'd her about losing his leg when they were back in the barn and they'd had more open conversations. "You remember the team of Shield agents that were killed protecting me when I was a baby?" He nodded. She steeled herself with a slow breath.

"There was an agent we found shortly after I joined Coulson's team, he was one of the first on scene in the aftermath. His colleague was killed after dropping me at Saint Agnes's. He warned Coulson and May 'Wherever she goes, death follows'. They chose to ignore him, but I can't help but feel like it might..."

"No." He cut her off, shaking his head as he sat forward to be closer to her. "You can't think like that."

"But it's true, everyone dies. Trip, Lincoln, even the ones that come back. Coulson, May, Fitz. I put everyone at risk." The tears reappeared as she wiped them with her shirt sleeve, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"Daisy..." He moved then, sitting on the bed in front of her. "Their deaths are not on you. It's the job we sign up to do, we put ourselves on the line, to be a literal shield. To protect those who can't protect themselves. There are always risks, but that's what we sign up for. It doesn't make it easy and we let ourselves mourn, but it is not your fault." She looked up at him with glassy eyes.

"You really believe that?"

"I do. You are one of the best agents I've seen. And i've seen a lot in all my years." His joke made a small smile flicker over her face. "Is that why Alya falling upset you?"

"I just don't want anyone else to get hurt. Not on my watch."

"And she's a lucky little girl to have you looking out for her." There was a beat of silence, as if she was digesting his words.

"That speech seemed familiar to you. Like you'd said it before." Daisy questioned, with a tilt of her head.

"You might not be the first person I've had to convince about things like that."

"Because some of your favourite people are people like me?" The smile that lit up her face made his heart flip in his chest. He chuckled.

"Because some of my favourite people are people like you."

**************************

If ya'll made it through this mess of words you deserve a gold star ⭐️

the parallel came to me while i washing up and then this happened.

#daniel sousa #daisysousa #daisy johnson #agents of shield #fanfic #agent carter #peggy carter #dousy #aos #marvel #peggysous #fitzsimmons #ao3 #this really got away from me #in this house we stan both peggy carter and daisy johnson #put my two fave ships in a room and make me cry #i love both shows with my entire heart #daniel sousa is a sap and i love him #soft #fluffy

[pinkprimrose05]

Can you do the whole favorite thing about them, least favorite thing about them, favorite line, brOTP, OTP, nOTP, etc. for Yuya?

Warning: Long post, contains slight spoilers.

I am so very sorry for long this stayed in the box- but thanks a lot for the ask!

Favorite thing about them: Why must you make me choose. I can't. I can't do that. There's genuinely too many things to choose from.

...fine, I can do honorable mentions. One thing that piqued my interest in the tomato son all those years ago was how layered his persona can be... if you squint. Or if you're like me and relate to him on a spiritual level. You see, at the surface of his character, Yuuya's your average protag boy: fun-loving, good-natured and full of innocent hopes and dreams-

Except, that's not all there is to it. Not even at the very start of the story. We see from the get-go how he struggles with the weight of past events and his own doubts and insecurities -which only gets more and more prominent as the show goes on- all while holding onto his smiles in defiance against adversity, and trying to help others do the same as well. Personally, I still think that this is a deceptively simple yet very powerful message.

Least favorite thing about them: Ah, that's a question I can't quite answer. You see, there isn't anything specific I dislike about him, as much as there's stuff I dislike that happen to him- as in, to his character. Like the last stretch of the Xyz and Fusion arcs. Those parts did irreversible damage Yuuya's portrayal- so much so that even I, known for being more forgiving of the story's flaws than most, was shaking my head in denial through the first, second, and third watch. Lord help me when I reach them in the fourth.

Favorite line: Quoting myself from the Yuugo version of this post: would it be cheating the question if I said there's too many to count? Because it's still true. I know for a fact that I'll mention a line here and then find another one I prefer not a day later- that's how it is with the faves, I suppose. For the sake of not leaving this empty, though, here's one quote that stuck with me longer than most:

"The dueling I've had up until now isn't something I made alone. Because everyone was there, I was able to make it this far!"

brOTP: Yuugo!

...Saw that coming? Yes? No? Look, Yuuya's the protagonist so he naturally has a lot of interesting friendships, some established, some made over the course of the show... and a few entirely hypothetical, like this one. What can I say? I just think they'd go great together. Picture this: two idiots with half a braincell between them, who meet each other proper and instantly click. And get on like a house on fire from there. Seriously, they're so different yet similar in so many ways, and I think that'd lend itself to a great mutual underdtanding between the two- almost as if they have some kind of telepathetic link (hmmm). Putting them in one room for extended periods of time will either result in the most fun sort of chaos or in talks so deep they both end up bawling their eyes out in each other's arms.

They're friends. Besties. Brothers even.

OTP: Look, I'm a bonafide vanilla when it comes to romantic ships. Fruitshipping is my first and main OTP in all media of interest, and the threatre kiddos get a badge of honor for being one of a scant few pairs that got me extremely close to crying on more than 1 occasion. That's more than can be said for... *checks notes* ...99.8% of the characters I know!

nOTP: Hmm... there's none that come to mind, honestly. I don't mind seeing Yuuya paired with anyone, as long as the ship is not inherently inappropriate and/or isn't portrayed in any weird ways.

Random headcanon: Thanks to certain happenings towards the end of the plot, Yuuya ends up developing the unconscious habit of hoarding things precious to him. He'll go to sleep curled up in the middle of a nest of blankets and pillows, surrounded by all his favorite plushies, random trinkets and gifts from friends, and of course, his pendulum and card partners (thank god in-universe cards are stupidly sturdy). The first time Youko chances upon him in this state, deep in the peaceful bliss of slumber, she stealthily snaps a photo and- huh? No, you didn't hear a thing. "Cuteness overload can be heard from over a mile away?" Pfft, nonsense.

Unpopular opinion: No idea how unpopular this may be, but... I don't get the claims that Yuuya's not a good duelist?

Several people point out that he relies on Action cards to stall out a duel until he can turn it around, and conclude that as such, he's less skillful than most of his opponents. That take confuses me more than anything; after all, isn't it in the nature of the Action duel rule that one must make use of the card scattered around them? They're not just there for show, nor are they solely used for their effects. And besides, it's clear that Yuuya's particular brand of entertainment dueling places heavy emphasis on the dynamic aspect, which is why he's always running around the field and trying to make a spectacle out of every move. That doesn't diminish his skill in any way I can see- he's just more inclined to using resources outside those in his deck, thanks in part to needing more combo pieces than survivability cards by virtue of using Pendulums.

Song I associate with them: Assuming any song qualifies, I'd say it's Future Fighter; because it's literally Yuuya's (and Reiji's) very own personal song. It highlights core aspects of their personalities through the lyrics- and what do you know, our boy has a very nice singing voice too! It was one among many highlights from the back half of ARC-V S1 to me.

Favorite picture of them: Look, I just want to see him happy. I think he deserves to display genuine joy more often. And the more sparkles the episode budget allows, the better! So with that in mind, here's a few of my favorite pics of the boyo.

....oh, you thought I could pick only one?

Bonus:

#as you can tell #this blog is perfectly average and completely normal about sakaki yuuya #totally does not devolve into needlessly long rambling episodes whenever asked about him #nope #absolutely not #....i care him so much.... #yugioh #yugioh arc v #yuya sakaki #sakaki yuya #asks #character breakdown

[likeadevils]

Fave 1989 lyrics?

i had to be RUTHLESS about this like talk about killing your darlings jesus christ

“kaleidoscope of loud” kicks off my favorite lyrical motif in 1989, i’ve ranted about it so many times, the way she conflates and celebrates light and sound and then uses silence and quiet in moments of love is just. so good. i’m not gonna mention all of them in this post but just know everytime it comes up i’m screaming

“it’s been waiting for you” has made me cry many many times

“i can read you like a magazine” immediately established character in such a short amount of time

“keep you second guessing like “oh my god, who is she?” i get drunk on jealousy” is genius. i love how either the love interest or her could be saying “oh my god who is she”. it’s just. she’s so smart

“midnight, you come and pick me up, no headlights” just. works on so many levels. it sets the scene, it establishes character of a reckless couple who can’t see their future, it continues the metaphor of love existing in darkness and quiet, mwah mwah mwah perfect line

“i’ve got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt” WHEN THE ENTIRE SONG US DETAILING HER LACK IF FAITH? she has no faith in the future of the relationship, and she hasn’t been strictly faithful to the love interest— she’s been there too a few times, after all. like, it just so quietly encapsulates the theme of appearances vs reality

speaking of “i said i’ve been there too a few times” made my jaw DROP the first time i heard it

“two paper airplanes flying, flying, flying…” SHOULDN’T WORK ON SO MANY LEVELS. IT SHOULD JUST BE A CLEVER METAPHOR. AND YET!!!

“the monsters turned out to be just trees, when the sun came up, you were looking at me” IN A SONG NAMED OUT OF THE WOODS???

“let me remind you this is what you wanted (you ended it), you were all i wanted, but not like this” good line. absolute burn

“i miss you to much to be mad anymore” what if you just run me over with a car instead huh

“we’re a crooked love, in a straight line down” good metaphor

“his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room, and his voice is a familiar sound” is such a good way to express a relationship getting more serious. it’s like, the pinochle of show don’t tell

“you’ll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night, burning it down. someday when you leave me, i’ll bet these memories follow you around” she just. sings it like a curse it’s so good

“in silent screams, in wildest dreams” and “in losing grip on sinking ships” are just. i love it when lyrics reference other lyrics in different songs it makes the album feel so cohesive it’s so good

“when you’re young you just run, but you come back to what you need” was already one of my favorite lyrics on the album but i’m also pretty sure it’s referencing “while our bloods still young, so young it runs” WHICH COMES RIGHT BEFORE “won’t stop til it’s over” which is the treacherous secret message, and THATS right before “won’t stop to surrender” which is the line harry has incorrectly tattooed

just every lyric in clean. i can’t pick one they’re all good

“he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown, and you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars, and why i’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words” is like. possibly my top five lyrics of her whole career. don’t ask me to do that it would be too hard but this would possibly make it

new romantics is another song that’s just like pick a line i can write an essay about why it’s so good i can’t believe this didn’t make the standard edition it’s a literal crime jail for ms swift

#asks*

[kaz3313]

I have a few ships that "break the main pair" as it were yes

Zhancheng, naturally, as I am obsessed w purple grape man and find his mutual hateship with Mr. Ice Statue very fun. I love pretty enemies to lovers ships. They're just so funny when you have an outside perspective. Also, mutual healing >>>>>

Ningxian is good. Kind of messed up and makes me sadder than I'd like to feel but still good. I often think about writing frankenstein AU for them but I have no idea how I'd go about it and I HAVE ENOUGH PROJECTS NO

I also like WWX with NHS during Cloud Recesses or modern era but specifically as casual buddies who look at porn together and kiss sometimes

Then I also do enjoy WWX and LWJ with various Qishan Wens (Lord Supervillain in Red and his fed-after-midnight children) in AUs where the Wens win. Very dark and exists primarily in my own head but still very fun.

How could I forget.... Chengxian, my beloved. I usually prefer them as platonic because there is def an oversaturation of romantic content in fandom but they're good as romantic too. I love how they used to get each other and get TO each other. I love making my faves uncomfortable and these two are perfect for embarrassing each other or making each other want to cry.

I don't understand WWX/JZX at all because you're just doubling the peacock and not adding additional flavors but you do you mwah

- Villain Anon

Zhancheng for me is the best w/ mutual mourning- I’ve recently gotten into that “trope” it’s just delicious to kiss cause of your obsession over another man. At the same time- I like any where they were like introduced to each other in childhood and were like childhood enemies but also inseparable 😂

FRANKINSTEIN NINGXIAN BELOVED!! YESSS!!! I LOVE LIKE WHERE WEN NING GAINS A CRUSH ON WEI WUXIAN BUT BELIEVES ITS ONE SIDED BUT WEI WUXIAN ACTUALLY THINKS HES THE BEST EVER AND!! also something something rhe low key necro if in canon verse. MMmmmm. If you ever write the franken au pls send to me I’ll put it in my mouth and chew on it /positive

Casual buddies is lovely. They can figure out their sexuality together~ I hc Young NHS has gained crushes on basically everyone and so Post Canon very rare moment when WWX is trying to reconnect they get drunk and NHS admits he was crushing hard on him during the Lan Lectures (maybe a casual Wangxian+SangSang 3sum comes out of it)

Yes!! Yes!! Wen Win Aus Or War Went Different in general is my jam!!

Chengxian is so complicated and that’s why it’s so compelling for me!! Messy both platonic and romantic!! I want to smack both of them so they can figure themselves out tho

I double the peacock because I want to see a peacock fight!! Peck each other eyes out bitches and then get into a real situation and tend to each other’s rooms- as enemies tho obviously 😤 no feelings. I also feel like JZX has a “I want the shit beaten outta me kink” and WWX doesn’t hesitate to punch him 😂😂

#romance mention #so many ships #villain anon

[absolutebl]

Hey! I really enjoyed reading your analysis on Saint and Nanon’s acting! I’m wondering if you would do one for Gun? He’s a fave of mine ✨

Wow, I got double asks on acting analysis in the space of one hour. So I guess this is part one. 

I think I should say at this juncture that I feel like actors can be categorized in a few different ways both by watchers and industry professionals, here’s how I break ‘em down.

Character Actors 

Basically this industry shorthand for “probubly not lead material” usually for appearance reasons (this is a superficial world I live in). These actors tend to get best friend, bad guy, and comic relief roles. Gunsmile at GMMTV is one of BLs most well known character actors (see him in 3 Will Be Free vs 2gether, he’s amazing). 

Personality or Fixed Actors 

Actors who actually do not change all that much between roles often because they are type cast, but also because audiences just really like their natural physicality, style, and verbal execution. The best known of these would be someone like Jack Nicholson or Kaenu Reeves. Don’t hate but I would put Earth (1000 Stars), Ohm (UWMA), and Mew (TharnType) into this category. 

Method Actors 

Actors who inhabit the roles completely either because they are trained in Method, because they are legacy, or just it’s their psychological technique for portraying someone else. Nanon (Bad Buddy) is method. 

Natural Talent 

Actors who were discovered, often quite young, and just grew into both the industry and their roles, these are like “discovery” actors, they probubly need more workshopping than method, especially in their first few roles. I would put both Fluke (UWMA) and Saint (LBC,WRU?) into this category. 

Technique Actors 

Those who have learned how to act one step at a time as if it were a trade. We can see them picking up skills and habits from their costars and they tend to improve from show to show. They are practitioners of Meisner technique (intentional or not). These actors are highly influenced by their costars, setting and environment. Mix (1000 Stars), Zee (WRU?), and Nut (Oxygen & Something in My Room) fall into this category.

GUN'S ACTING

I don't know the truth but my feeling is Gun is self taught. For me he falls into the natural talent category. But he also started very young, so he has that child actor slightly warped feel about him, where ego and value are nested early in appearance and talent. 

His problem (if you can call it that) is that he is too pretty. His looks are straight up angelic and so it’s difficult to visually take him seriously in more dark and gritty roles (like The Gifted or Not Me.) He is still good in those roles, but his looks work against him. 

He’s a pretty crier, and directors love that, so they make him cry a lot.

He has a tendency to “out act” his costars. No shade but subtlety is not his strong point. I’d like to see him under a director who pulls him back a bit more. 

He’s already a hugely charismatic screen presence in that when he shares the screen it’s really hard to look away from him. Off has a lot of work to do, and you can see Off struggle to pull attention in Puppy Honey where Gun dominates most of their scenes. As the two of them have gotten more comfortable with each other over the years, you can see Off relax into their physicality but also into their onscreen dynamic. One of the interesting things to see in Not Me is Off’s complete confidence in sharing the screen with Gun. 

That said, I am not at all surprised to see Gun & Mond being shipped because Gun has shown good chemistry with other actors before (yes he did gay not with Off, see Fah Mee Tah. Or don’t because it’s not good, although Gun’s good in it.) While I doubt we’ll see Off ever do BL with anyone else, I can imagine Gun doing other pairings. 

Gun might be work to act with because of his charisma, but he’s also clearly fun and professional on set. I think you can see that in his series. It’s part of his appeal. His screen presence might be more etherial than likable, but it’s always clear that the other actors enjoy working with him and that comes across to viewers. 

I’d like to see him pick up a role where he has to play a very delicate and fragile character (like Pharm) more broken than he’s done before. The kind of character everyone wants to look out for and care for. He’s also never done a true tsundere (that’s always been Off’s bailiwick) - that’d be fun watch. 

(source)

#Gun Atthaphan #thai actors #film industry #acting analysis #not me #Puppy Honey #puppy honey rome #theory of love #offgun

[teeth-and-tea]

ANIME & MANGA I HAVE BINGED IN THE LAST MONTH: May 2021

I've Been Hunting Slimes for the Past 300 Years and Now Ive Maxed Out My Level: incredibly long name aside, cute af slice of life that suffers Same Face Syndrome. I'm still happy to watch it because of how feel good and fluffy it is though, Im probably gonna forget about it in two or three years tho. 8/10.

Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro: I found out this was a webcomic first and suddenly all the HORNINESS made so much more sense. A Femdom, Degradation, Humiliation, Dacryphilia Bullies to Lovers story disguised as a high school rom-com which, I'm not going to lie, misses SKEEVY CITY by mere inches on a regular basis. However, I'm a Dom/Switch and this entire relationship sets off my dom brain center like New York City just shy of midnight. So if you're into that sort of scene, this anime is for you. If not, it's still fascinating but you're probably gonna be a little put off by how mean the Girl!Bully is to the guy MC. Unless you find out something about yourself, in which case, congrats! Stay safe, sane, consensual, and learn about the traffic light system on top of safe words, I promise you'll have a better life in general after that. Still Ongoing, currently 10/10.

Fruits Basket: IM GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS ANIME SO MUCH???? The original anime came out when I was in... I think middle school and my parents were really strict on what I watched so I never got to experience the first wave and I never bothered to watch the show ever after I moved out of the house years later. However, now that I'm much older I honestly can say this is one of my favorite anime to date, and all the characters are charming, lovable, with their own problems that I can connect to or sympathize with, and I love the MC which is always a treat tbh. Except Akito. Akito can suck a sandpaper dick. I'm only on S2 tho so no spoilers! Anime 11/10.

Monster Girl Doctor: went in thinking it was gonna be a monster girl who's a doctor with a homoerotic assistant (her name is SAPPHY okay sue me for thinking it) and ended up watching the entire dubbed harem series. Honestly, I've seen worse and this one has consistent follow-through on interesting characters and backstory enough for me to shove aside the blatant under-monstrousness of the female monsters and the harem-ness of everything else. Dubbing is honestly really good, which is a treat, and the monster designs are not the worst and the MC is tolerable. Honestly, I don't mind having watched it! The mix of cgi and the traditional animation together work pretty strangely though, and it often doesn't flow super well. 7.5/10

So I'm a Spider, So What: Dubbed version which honestly isn't that bad. Took me a bit to get into it, but after realizing that it's got a mismatched timeline a la The Witcher, it made so much more sense. Heavily done in cgi, and you can definitely tell between the 2D and 3D animations, but not the worst in the world. I went in not expecting much but it ended up being an Issekai I can stand and even enjoy. On god has a decent story... with the spider. I'd be a liar if I didnt say I skipped some of the human parts just to get back to the best part of the show. 8/10.

Somali and the Forest Spirit: I'm so fucking nostalgic for this thing it makes me want to go and hug my dad. About a human girl under threat of being eaten with a monster-dominated world. Very obvious "humans fear what they don't understand" message but instead of the humans learning tolerance it's what happens when they get annihilated first so like, kudos for the mangaka for having the guts to do that. I cried like a baby regularly. It's really good, I watched the dub and ID WATCH IT AGAIN!!! 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Oh my god. O h my g o d. Fell in love on the first episode, ngl. About if an immortal being learned how to be a person from scratch. I love it. HOWEVER. Keep a box of tissues on you at all times because you're gonna need them. I'm only on EP7 because that's all that's out right now but just know. I love it. Not for everyone but certainly for my "what do we define as human and the human condition" ass. 12/10.

Those Snow White Notes: A sports anime without any sports. About shamisen playing which is cool because I never realized how cool this instrument was??? Its neat af. OP1&2 are by Burnout Syndrom so know theyre fire. Gonna be real, its pretty alright, but not extraordinary. You can tell they were using the characters as archetypes rather than actually characters which kinda kills a lot of the emotional value you could've had, but I'm still gonna watch it. It doesn't make me cringe as hard as other sports anime tho so I consider it toptier in that regards but if you're a big sports anime fan you might be bummed out by it. Every single musical performance is INCREDIBLE tho. A solid 8/10.

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun: THE ART OMFG IT'S SO GORGEOUS. Listen, if you took coptic markers and gave them an animation budget with some manga panel direction thrown in there, that's this anime. It's beautiful. Gorgeous. I'm in love with the aesthetic every second. Story? Really good. Characters? I love the MC and his evil little twin brother asshat. Demons? Not super imaginative but I'm carrying on happy as can be anyways. Dubbing? A bit shaky at times but I found the voices charming if a little off for some of them. I'm already waiting for the second season with popcorn at the ready. 10/10.

Prison School: I watched this directly after Hanako-kun and it was like I got slapped in the face by sweaty unwashed titties and some fedora wearing schmuck's piss kink. No character is likable or redeemable. I finished it, but at what cost? 2/10 and only because a character shit his pants and I laughed.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle: watched this right after Prison School and it was NECESSARY tbh. Its so CUTE and honestly, im not even kidding you, the fucking funniest anime I've seen in months. I watched the dub and the VAs are having the time of their lives working on this anime not just giving it their all but literally just going ham. Its great. If I read this im sure id be bored outta my mind but the VAs giving it a joyous performance make it an insta fave for me tbh. 9/10.

Sk8 the Infinity: i watched the dub with my bro and I can confirm that its a spectacular show because we both loved it and we have vastly different tastes. Incredibly SUSPENSFUL AND STRESSFUL for an anime about skateboarding but we finished it in a single sitting tbh. The last episode is not dubbed for some reason but we still loved it. Like if Free! was less obnoxious but the only fan-service here is Joe ♡ a beefcake who owns my lesbian heart. I think there's exactly one named female character tho and I legit couldn't tell you what it was if there was a gun to my head. So, over all, 9.5/10.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: I'm going to be entirely honest, I went in thinking it was going to be a boring isekai of no value. I was right about the Isekai part. It was honestly pretty interesting and focused on nation building like you're playing civilization rather than the usual "Get Stronger" narrative or "Get Some Pussy" narrative most isekais take which is delightfully refreshing. Granted there are flavors of that in this which means it doesn't alienate the big isekai watchers out there, but it's not the whole dish and it doesn't make me want to cringe the same way others do. You've got a slime MC just vibing and building a nation of monsters nbd. Does lose points for making the female monsters more humanoid than their male counterparts but makes them back by only doing perfunctory fan-service and nothing that makes me want to cry... except the butt sumo episode but in fairness it was all a terrible dream. Literally, the MC refuses to dream anymore after that. solid animation, decent voice acting, decent story, made me realize how HUGE this is in the Light Novel community???? There's like 18 fucking novels and that's WILD. 8.5/10.

MANGA:

Spirit Photographer Saburo Kono: a one shot special by the mangaka of The Promised Neverland! Honestly a really delicate touch of both super creepy and really touching, and I'm not gonna lie I'm bummed that this isn't a bigger project but the single chapter makes it a good taste for their style. I've been wondering if I wanna read/watch The Promised Neverland and now I think I will. 10/10

Deranged Detective Ron Kamonohashi: from the mangaka of Hitman Reborn comes this Sherlock and Watson derivative! Not even 20 chapters out yet with a sort of spotty schedule, I honestly love it even thought it's exactly as you expect. HOWEVER. Kamonohashi the "Sherlock" character uses mental pressure to kill all confirmed murderers and it's up to Toto the "Watson" character to save all those people before Kamonohashi kills them! It's just recently introduced a "Moriarty" family of crime lords (not a big spoiler don't worry it was obvious) so the tension surrounding Ron's past is amping up rn. Personally, I think the art is GORGEOUS, the characters engaging, and the story quick enough to keep my interest. Most mysteries are solved within a chapter or two so you're not stuck 20 chapters into one locked room mystery which is just peachy tbh. RN, 10/10. If this gets an anime, I anticipate a legion of fangirls who ship the two main characters along with their many friends. I've been alive too long to believe otherwise.

Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro: Yeah I read the manga after I watched the show. A slower build than the anime, but it works for the format, if theyd done the same with the show then I don't think it wouldve done as well. Honestly? Cuter tbh but just as horny. You dont start really LEARNING about your character until like, chap 65 tho and no real "drama" happens until like 75. A good chunk of the chapters are like 8pgs so its a breeze to get through. I love these slow burn idiots of the century. 9.5/10 because you can DEFINITELY tell the mangaka does hentai too.

Yugen's All-Ghouls Homeroom: one-shot by the mangaka for Food Wars, it's no wonder there's this constant perviness from the MC, a guy who can see and exorcise spirits. Takes place at an all girl's finishing school with KICK ASS monsters tbh, kinda bummed its not longer. The MC? Blatant monsterfucker who is also a CONFRIMED monsterfucker???? Idk i vibe with that single emotion. Everything else is hit or miss. 7/10 for monsters and cool concept, lost points for the MC very pointedly being okay with admitting he'd wait for the teenagers to be adults tho. Creepy af. Could live without that.

Hell's Paradise: I finished the entire 127chps in 3 days and I was really enthusiastic about it 90% of the time thinking about how deep it was and then I actually thought about it and I ended up being very neutral about the whole thing tbh. The art is fantastic tho, but DEFINITELY deserving of the M rating. Tits. Tits everywhere. But not tits to be ecchi over, no, monster hermit tits on beautiful women-ish figures. Now generally I give that a pass but a huge theme in the story is that men and women are "no better than one or the other" but like, lady tits are what you see 99% of the time. Men tits are few and far between. I call bullshit on most of the "deep" themes is what I'm saying, so it's like the mangaka was trying for those deep thoughts but missed the margin a little too far for my preference. That being said, the MC is a married man who loves his wife which automatically makes him my favorite character so like... idk so many good things, so many misses, but overall really spectacular themes and imagery. Unique but classic all at once. It's getting an anime and I have NO IDEA how much censorship they're gonna be doing but they're going to be doing SO MUCH. Oh yeah, and one guy is a plant/human hybrid who fucks a 1000 year old plant-hermit which makes him a canon monster fucker. And one canon non-binary character who I, a nonbinary, actually like. So like... gosh I've got mixed feelings. 8.5/10.

Choujin X: From Sui Ishida, mangaka to the mega hit Tokyo Ghoul comes this brand new manga!... Of one chapter, lol. Not really binge-y because it's just the one chapter out right now but I'm already keeping my eye on it. The grasp on anatomy in the art is PHENOMENAL and you can see Ishida flexing his art skill which is great. Can't give a true rating but I'm giving it a tentative 9/10 because I'm excited to see more.

Shag&Scoob: technically not a manga, its an ongoing webcomic I binged an subscribed to in one day and I just think it deserves more attention. Starts off funny with "what if Scooby Doo had a gun" and has been led to "what if all cartoons are aliens that survive and receive their powers by the humans that love them in an epic war with Martians." On god, its good. I finished the current series in a couple hours so it's a breezy read, highly recommend it. 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Yeah I watched the anime and then finished all current 143 chapters in like 3 days. GOD IM WEAK. I don't buy physical manga unless I know I want to remember the story forever and I'm already budgeting for the current books out. Yeah, this is a good series. That being said, definitely not for the faint of heart or those who suffer under common triggers like suicide, molestation, death, etc. It's all framed as bad and necessary to the story don't get me wrong, but it's there and has lasting affects on the characters. Incredible story telling by the creator of A Silent Voice. Keep tissues nearby at all times. 12/10.

#i've been killing slimes for 300 years and maxed out my level #don't toy with me miss nagatoro #spirit photographer saburo kono #fruits basket #deranged detective ron kamonohashi #yugen's all-ghoul's homeroom #monster girl doctor #so i'm a spider so what #somali and the forest spirit #to your eternity #jigokuraku #hell's paradise #choujin x #shag and scoob #toilet bound hanako kun #prison school #sk8 the infinity #that time i got reincarnated as a slime

[kelberytwt]

Oooo look at this I'm getting into idv again 😕 I'm only here for edluca and other cool ships as well as the lore so screw you netease!!!!! you aren't getting my money today!!!! anyways take this little oneshot I wrote :] I'm tempted to turn it into a fanfic but idk!!! maybe on AO3.

word count : 1,046

------------------------------------------------------------------

Raining hitting the dirt covered windows, he stood sobbing over the brunette in front of him, tears falling down his face viciously as he held his lovers face in his pale and plaster cover hands. With each sob, Valden's whole body shook as Luca simply sat there on the Manor couch with a puzzled expression. 

" Luca please- Please you must remember, it's me love, it's Edgar- "

He hiccuped and tried to catch his breath but to no avail since he was more focused on the man in front of him. The Manor seemed quiet that day but maybe everyone was just trying to leave The Painter alone after the accident which happened a few hours prior to the moment they were currently in. 

The 'Prisoner' managed to get himself in a pretty serious accident while running away the hunter which wasn't uncommon of him so he was taken straight to bed by Miss Emily Dyer, The Doctor, to try and rest up but he had come stumbling to the room, which they were in now, where Edgar sat and whilst engulfing his boyfriend in an embrace, Luca stated that ' he didn't know why Edgar was so excited since he couldn't remember him '. From that moment, Edgar tried to make him remember, like every other time this happened. He tried and tried but he simply couldn't. Nothing worked. And for all he knew, the Luca Balsa he met and had fallen madly in love with was gone and he didn't know how to get him help, it wasn't like anyone else would help either. They were too focused on surviving this shithole to focus on anyone else, and it's not like anyone was buddy buddy with Luca either.

The 'Prisoner' gave an awkward chuckle, placing his hands over Edgar's as he tried to pull them away but the shorter kept his ground and kept his hands on the others tanned skin, rubbing his thumbs and feeling small scars and imperfections in his Luca's skin. It was beautiful, all of him was to Edgar. From his messed and self cut hair, which was clearly self cut because I wasn't good and you could see stray hairs poking out, all the way down to the smallest things in him, such as the way he walked and talked, the way he stood when they had to wait, his hands in his pocket and the top part of his back leaning back making his posture messes up and Edgar tried to sort it out but it was always for nothing since Luca would go back to standing in that same way but Edgar loved it, he loved him so bad, even the dumb shit he said as the two fell asleep in their arms late at night.

" Uh- Buddy-? " Balsa spoke, slowly and quietly causing Valden to snap out of his thoughts. " You alright buddy? You seem to be uh- A little out of it. " 

The Painter's eyes glossed over with tears which he tries to hold back as hard as he could to not burst into a sobbing and shaking state once more. 

" Luca- Do you really not remember? " Edgar whispered.

" I'm- I'm sorry? " Were the only words the other managed to spit out, not wanting to say something in case he hurt the stranger before him. Well 'stranger', they weren't strangers. There were lovers but that memory was wiped from his head. They were lovers for eyes, but he kept forgetting, 2 years ago now in the spring at the Manor when Luca was still working was their first meeting and Valden always reminded him of how and where they met, what his favourite things were what was going on. Everything. Because he cared even if he came off as an asshole and jerk around everyone else, Luca Balsa was his soft spot at the end of the day.

Gingerly, he opened his mouth to speak even just to whisper a word but nothing came out, he was completely silent and not even a whimper left his lips as if he was just simply frozen.

Valden stood there, hazelnut hair tied up in a ponytail behind him like always and his hat lay crooked on his head. His eyes were red from sobbing as well as his nose for the same reason. He had just lost the person he most cared for, gone, out of his reached. If he was there fast enough, if he managed to grab luca and run, if only. Even the hunter felt bad for what had happened as they walked into the Manor with a worried expression as the rest dragged Luca inside but of course they had to be separated from each other, that was simply the rules which they couldn't break.

" Your name is luca balsa, " Edgar started calmly, holding his face tighter, " You are twenty four years old and,, your favourite season is spring, and you told me that ages ago because it was spring when we first met. " 

" Buddy- " 

" I- I can take you places where we spent our time together, I can show you paintings you helped with- Anything, I promise we can get your memory back. "

Edgar had begun to sob again.

It seemed the world was really against The Painter, it felt like everything was always against him. All he wanted was to be happy, that's it, he wanted to live his life with the person he cared most for and one day get put this shithole of a Manor but now it seemed like he was alone. Again. With no one by his side. It was depressing, to fall back into the hole of feeling like nothing in your life mattered but he could work his sorrows away. I mean, he thought he could anyways because who actually knows how much free time he'll have now, maybes he'll go into more matches wishing that something would take his mind of the dreadful feeling in his chest, or maybe he could lock himself up and sob. Sob and cry and scream and yell at himself because he was so stupid to let Balsa get so badly hurt.

 Luca forget everything, every trace of Edgar and where he even was, so all hope The Painter had was gone.

------------------------------------------------------------------

This was sorta based on

that piece of art but more Angsty so credit to the person that made that for the inspo!!! I really loved it. And I really enjoyed writing this despite not being confident in my writing and not writing too much.

#identity v #idv painter #writing #one shot #idv prisoner #angst #idv #edluca #edgar valden #luca balsa #mentions of #emily dyer #idv doctor #idv hunter #idv survivor

[djmarinizelablog]

Angst no. 41 (the viewers everytime Dalisay fails to die)

#41. Angst: “No, not again. Please!”

I'll make my own spin here---Levi and Hange are watching Cardo Dalisay, the vigilante extraordinaire from the mountains, on TV. Hilarious angst (what the heck is that?) ensues.

Prompt list (pick a prompt with your fave ship and send it to me; I’ll write something about it)

---------------------

It's Friday after a long week of work, thick blankets and a hot choco kind of night, and Hange's propped on the couch while snacking on some popcorn, the TV playing in front of her.

"What the fuck are you watching?"

Levi has entered their room, confused at the fact that Hange's eyes are glued to the screen---probably for the first time since... forever?

"Just some action series I found on this channel." She munches some popcorn. "Got me hooked on the first season, and now I'm already halfway through!"

The opening credits of the next episode start with some poorly-done CGIs of the protagonist jumping off a building before said building gets blown up, flash forward to some highly-exaggerated fighting scenes where one punch from Cardo, the vigilante extraordinaire, knocks out this huge evil henchman in front of him. It's a pathetic stunt; in reality, that blow would have broken his teeny-tiny wrist. But the director didn't want that, Levi supposes; Cardo Dalisay would have been recuperating in the hospital for weeks. There would be no show without him.

Levi shrugs his shoulder and grabs some popcorn. "Looks like shit to me."

Nevertheless, he sits beside Hange, slings one arm around her while Hange lifts up the blanket high enough for both of them to snuggle underneath.

The show doesn't really interest him, really. It's Hange's reaction to it that does. Hange's eyes widen at every kick, every punch that Cardo lands at his enemies, eyebrows furrowed each time he narrowly escapes a blow.

"This guy," Hange explains, pointing her foot towards the face of Coco Martin on TV, "he used to have a twin brother who died so he avenged him and then Cardo, he's the main character, in case you haven't figured it out, gets involved with drugs and the police, but he's innocent and now he's on the run with his wife and a couple of military-people-turned-rebels---oh, shit, no!"

The main nemesis of the season shoots Cardo Dalisay right on the chest. The protagonist drops dead in the water, his body floating in the middle of the lake, and then it's a cliffhanger. Hange's face is in pure horror, like she hasn't expected this plot twist at all.

"Don't die. Survive!" Hange shouts with all the eagerness in her voice.

The popcorn merely falls out of Levi's mouth as he stares at Hange, dumbfounded. It's his motherfucking line.

"Don't tell me this is what you've been binge-watching lately. A dweeb can do better CGIs than this..." he gestures towards the screen, and thinks of the first word that comes to mind. "Shitshow."

Hange doesn't respond, but merely plays the next episode she has recorded.

Apparently, Cardo Dalisay has escaped death that time and is back for some action-packed scenes ("I knew it! Somebody found him and nursed him back to health!" Hange cheers). Little does Levi know, it's the first of many, the almost-but-not-quite "deaths." A hostage is now tied up high in the air, but Levi can still see the stupid green screen behind them like a badly photoshopped meme. Hange, however, is thoroughly engrossed.

All the death-defying scenes happen one after the other, and Levi is forced to watch, cringing. Well, because Hange would end up staying all night and wouldn't probably wake up to run some errands in the morning. He'd rather make sure she gets to bed by 1 am, at the very latest. The two of them are partners-in-crime in this household.

The next episode cuts to Cardo Dalisay hanging for dear life with one gun in hand while he's being rained down by bullets from above. Said enemies, trained assassins are they are, miss all their firing shots at him, and Cardo Dalisay miraculously escapes without a single scrape in his body.

"This doesn't make sense," he complains to Hange who's fanning herself from the adrenaline rush. Levi continues, "Nothing does in this show. Did the producers even study the laws of physics?"

Hange looks at him, curious.

"What?"

"Nothing."

She continues watching. The fact that she majored in Physics and aced all her classes in college baffles him all the more.

Cardo Dalisay dies the nth time by being shot (again). About time, Levi thinks. And then Cardo's wife Alyana wakes up with Cardo right beside her, completely unharmed. It had all been a dream.

"This guy seriously has one hell of a plot armor."

"I know! It's so cool, right?" Hange says, and he doesn't know if she's being ironic or not. "I've been so attached to his character, kinda reminds me of you."

"I can do so much better than him." He crosses his arms and slumps back into the couch. Levi has had enough of plot armors so thick nothing could penetrate the person.

"Maybe you can audition and then ask if you can replace his titular role," Hange teases him before putting all her attention to the ongoing episode. "Apparently, it's been running since 2015."

He counts the years with his fingers. "Shit, for real? It's fucking 2021."

The hours go by so slow, and Levi's back is already hurting from sitting on the couch this whole time. They're coming to the end of the last season, and he's trying his best to blink away the sleep from his eyes. He does wake up, though, when Cardo Dalisay gets repeatedly shot and stabbed by his archenemy in the most gruesome episode to date.

“No, not again. Please!” Hange shouts, fists clenching the blanket too tightly.

Please what? Please come back? Or please die this time?

Cardo Dalisay is vomitting blood on the floor and Hange is crying.

"Alright, that's it.” He stands up. “If this guy comes back alive in the next season, I'm---"

Hange grabs hold of his shirt and cries. Not a crybaby kind of cry. But a serious, I-swear-it-is-real kind of cry. Cardo Dalisay remains dead. Bad guy celebrates, laughing in triumph. The rest of the characters mourn. So does Hange. And Levi, tough guy as he is, doesn't have the heart to make fun of her when she cries.

"I can't, I can't," Hange sobs, as the ending credits roll. "I can't deal with deaths anymore."

"Oi, Hange. It's alright."

He looks at the clock and it's already past 1 am. After turning the TV off, he carries Hange to bed and tucks both of them in, wrapping his arms around her as they settle into sleep together.

Hange curls up closer to him and, being the longer-legged person between the two of them, hooks her leg on his thigh. "Levi..."

"Hm?" He cracks one eye open.

"I'm just glad you're still here."

He pulls her towards him, right where his heart is, and he's sure that Hange is listening to the thumping of his heartbeat. So much for heroes, he thinks. He's thankful enough he doesn't have to act like one to be one in Hange's eyes. He hopes the story doesn't end there.

A few episodes later, the scene zooms in to Cardo Dalisay on a hospital bed, severely injured but nevertheless, alive.

------------

(I hope you like this, Anon, 'cause I definitely enjoyed writing about your prompt)

#levihan #levi ackerman #captain levi #levi and hange #hange zoe #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #levi attack on titan #attack on titan #fanfic #fanfiction #mine #ask #writing #cardo dalisay #coco martin #djmarinizela #ang probinsyano

[n7inky-fanfics]

Geth Dreadnought

CW: PTSD

.

.

.

Why is it that when Cerberus built this damn ship they put the one window that doesn't have shutters above my fucking bed? I swear, it had to have been on purpose. Assholes. I'm supposed to be sleeping right now, but there's no way in hell to sleep because space is just above me, taunting me. I just need to forget about the vacuum of space long enough to fall asleep.

Well, just because they didn't provide me with a damned shutter doesn't mean I can't just cover it myself. Time to get creative. I throw on my N7 jacket and some cargo pants, then catch the elevator down to engineering. I cautiously scan the hallway, hoping to avoid encountering anyone else. Now that we're in the clear after dealing with the Geth Dreadnought, most of the ship is on sleep block. The skeleton crew to keep it running will likely be too busy to notice me, but it's still possible.

Everything looks empty, so I head down to the undercroft. If I'm going to cover the window, I need to be able to reach it. I could have sworn that I saw a ladder down here... Ah, yes! Here it is! I carry the ladder into the elevator and back to my room without encountering anyone.

Next, I need to find something to cover it with and some adhesive. I think there might be a large tarp in the cargo bay, and I could use the super-strength adhesive we keep around for random patch jobs. I sneak down to the cargo bay and gather the remaining supplies. It looks like I'm going to make it back to my quarters undiscovered until the elevator stops on the crew deck. The doors slide open and I find myself face to face with a surprised looking Kaidan Alenko.

"Ahh, Shepard... I was just coming up to ask if you would like some tea." he says.

"Oh. Raincheck?" I shrug, well as much as I can with two armfuls of tarp and adhesive.

"Sure, sure... Hey, is it alright if I come up with you? I've been wanting to talk with you about what happened today." His eyes are gentle and caring. All I want to do is drop my barriers and tell him everything about how I feel, about the fear that I haven't been able to shake since leaving the Normandy to board the dreadnought. I want to cry and have him tell me it'll be okay. I want to let myself unravel.

But I can't, so I just nod and plaster on a small smile, hoping he doesn't notice how fake it is. He boards the elevator, and for a brief moment the silence is almost deafening. Then, he says "So... What's with the tarp?"

"Did you know that was the second time we managed to sneak up on the geth because they don't use windows?"

"Joker explained it to me after he made that comment. What's with the tarp?"

The elevator stops and slides open just in time to save me from that question. I move quickly into my room and drop the taro and glue on my bed. Kaidan leans against the wall that separates my desk from the rest of the cabin while I grab the ladder and position it under the far corner of the window. Kaidan watches as I climb the ladder with the tarp and glue in tow. I spread adhesive as far as I can on both sides of the corner, then press the tarp firmly against it. I hold it in place and begin counting the 180 seconds it should take for the glue to dry.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Ele-

"Hazel, what are you doing?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I wanted to see if I could figure out why you're gluing a tarp to your ceiling. I'm stumped, but that's not the point. What are you doing?" Kaidan crosses his arms firmly.

I must be on twenty-five by now at least... Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight. Twenty-nine. Thirty. Thirty-"

"Hazel, why are you covering the window?" He moves closer to the ladder. I don't dare to look him in the eye, afraid that under his gentle gaze I might actually allow myself to break. Instead, I stare up at the tarp. What am I on? Forty? Probably.

Forty-one. Forty-two. Forty-three. Forty-four. Forty-five.

"Hey, look at me, Shepard." His voice is firm but kind, and I can't help but do it. I look at his face, into his caring and worried eyes, and I choke back a sob. He reaches up to me, offering his hand. "Come down from there and talk to me, please."

I could do it. He's giving me a chance to do it. I could step off this ladder and I could really, truly let myself feel it all. I could break down in his arms and stay there and let him make me feel safe. I want to, but... I'm Commander Shepard. I must continue to be Commander Shepard. I must stay strong.

"I'm fine right here." I say. My voice sounds hollow and foreign. How much time has it been? Maybe thirty more seconds? And I had been on forty before? No, forty-five.

Seventy-five. I turn to fave the tarp again. Seventy-six. Seventy-seven. Seventy-eight. Seventy-nine. Eighty.

"Please." His voice is soft, accented by a hint of sadness laced with concern. "Let me back in."

I'm screaming at myself internally. Don't drop your guard. Don't feel your emotions. Pack it down. Finish the job! Even as my mind is saying this, I feel my arms release the tarp. The adhesive hasn't had enough time to dry, so it simply falls away from the ceiling. Kaidan pulls me off the ladder and into his arms. For one, tiny moment, I fight it. I tell myself that I won't cry.

The floodgates open, and now I'm sobbing in his arms. My body is so racked by my sobs that I can't keep myself standing. Kaidan takes on my weight and gently lowers us both to the floor. As I cry, my lungs become more and more restricted. Soon, I can't breathe. I'm suffocating. Oh god, I'm suffocating in space! The Normandy is gone and everyone escaped and I'm left drifting in space and I can't breathe! I try to breathe in, but I can't. I'm going to die! No, I can't die! Not again!

"Hazel!" Kaidan shouts, shaking my shoulders. I open my eyes to see him staring back at me, worry etched into his face. Something in front of him is glowing blue, and the light from it is dancing along his face. What is that?

Kaidan gently takes my hand in his and kisses it. I watch him bring it to his lips carefully. A ring of blue surrounds my arm. I'm glowing. My biotics form a haze around me. If it had taken him much longer to get through to me, I probably would have flared them uncontrollably. As if he can read my mind, he gently pulls away and throws up a small but strong barrier around me. I release the energy. He waits a moment, to be sure it has dissipated, then drops the barrier and pulls me back into his arms.

"Hazel, do you know where you are?" he whispers.

"Normandy SR-2. It's 2186."

"Good." he says. He kisses my forehead softly.

We stay this way until long after I have stopped crying. Finally, he says "Almost getting blown up by the Quarian fleet wasn't easy."

I shake my head. "We were more likely to be spaced than blown up." My voice comes out barely above a whisper.

His breath hitches in his chest and he tenses slightly. "That's why you were covering the window." I nod. "Do you remember...?"

"Yes." He holds me just a little bit tighter when I say this.

"I'm so sorry." He says.

"Sometimes, in my dreams or if I let myself drift out of reality enough, I end up back there... Over Alchera. I can still feel..." I stop myself from completing that thought. I can't believe I'm telling him this. I need to be strong right now, for everyone. That includes Kaidan. I can't be falling apart like this. What was I thinking?

I pull away from him and stand up. "You know what, why don't we go have that tea?" He stares up at me inquiringly, but I brush his stare off and reach out for his hand. Finally, he takes it and I help him to his feet. I stop in the bathroom briefly to make sure I look fairly put together, then lead him out of my room and to the mess hall. I start making some jokes and soon we settle into a comfortable mood. We chat a little over our tea before we say goodnight and go out separate ways. Tonight, I sleep on the floor under my desk.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Two days later, I come back into my room after a long day to find a tarp securely attached to the ceiling and covering the window entirely. I ask EDI for the who, what, and how. She informs me that she granted Kaidan and Garrus access so that they could put it up while I was busy handling the Quarian-Geth situation. I can't help but smile as I crawl into bed. I sleep soundly for the first time since I died.

#fanfic #mass effect #commander shepard #female shepard #kaidan alenko #shepard x kaidan #f!shenko #shenko #shepard #fshenko

[fuckyeahspones]

1. How did you start shipping Spones?

I started shipping spones when I somehow got it into my head that Spock would have an irrational desire to pick McCoy up and carry him around! I think adestroy’s comics first introduced me to the concept of spones, and it didn’t hurt that the first episode of TOS that I ever saw was All Our Yesterdays lol

Great spones fics (Surgeon’s Mate by belmanoir springs to mind), regular content from sleepymccoy throughout 2015-2017 or so, and excellent fanvids on YouTube by Danzinora Switch all helped to keep me interested in the ship.

2. Why did you ship them?

My “true” ship is McSpirk, but the great thing that the spones relationship has over the spirk relationship is the tension. Spones has what every romcom wants (and usually fails) to have: two people who are clearly well-matched for each other in terms of intellect, ideals, lifestyle and personality, but who have got off on the wrong foot due to relatively minor differences in temperament, mode of expression, prejudices and insecurities.

This tension can be played equally well for comedy and for angst. Furthermore, they are both such honest and loyal people that a serious meaningful relationship is totally plausible, opening up possibilities for fluff or epic romance. So you can have anything you want, with spones!

Also (unlike Kirk, unlike Spock), McCoy simply will not experience fulfilment without marriage. He is lonely and his career and friendships cannot fully sate that loneliness. He needs total commitment to and from one person. And Spock is the best match for him.

3. What are some reasons you like Spock and McCoy as characters?

Well I only fell into the Star Trek fandom because of Leonard Nimoy’s expressive face! Spock has remained my favourite character because I admire his stoicism, his utter integrity, his deadpan wit; and I relate to his reticence, awkwardness and (imo) demisexuality.

It took me a while to really like McCoy. In the show, the writers sometimes didn’t do the character justice, and the spones arguments don’t always make sense. But the fandom has really developed McCoy’s character as it was meant to be and as DeForest Kelley portrayed him. I love his sass, his selflessness, his mistrust of space and technology, the way he covers up his deep emotions with cantankerousness and surface emotions.

Above all, the great thing about McCoy from a shipper’s point of view is his boundless potential for pining! He breaks his own heart at the slightest provocation – which means he has limitless potential for bliss once things work out in the end.

4. Some of your fave things about liking Spones: tropes, fics, headcanons etc?

I like that spones works particularly well as an AU. Now normally I don’t even like AUs. With spirk, for instance, I can’t stand AUs because they can never be better than the actual spirk relationship in TOS, so what’s the point?

With spones, though, it seems as though TOS is almost the worst possible outcome, as though Spock and McCoy would, in any other universe or circumstances, have come together more quickly, easily and completely? So whether it’s a completely different AU (like Regency era or cowboys or something) or just a “what if this episode had gone a little differently” AU, there’s endless scope.

I’m sorry for the late reply! I saw this submission in the inbox but, before I could do anything, my power went out for days so I’m now just taking a chance to look at your answers!

That is a hell of an introduction to Spones! All Our Yesterdays has a lot of Spones content, Adestroy has such great comics, but when sleepymccoy made all that spones content from 2014-2017, it actually was one of the reasons I actually made a tumblr. Danzinora Switch’s videos are WONDERFUL but honestly her fics? Such good gen fic I’m cry. I can see how you got sucked into the Spones very quickly.

I, too, love McSpirk! (My multishipping butt collects ships like no one’s business lmao) You do make a great point about Spones having what most romcom movies want but don’t always succeed at with their main interests.

You are so very right about the writer’s not always doing justice to McCoy’s character (sometimes they write him antithesis to what has been established AS his character in other episodes -- I’ve discussed this before with Trek-Tracks, but Bev and I agreed that some of these writers would write Spock & McCoy as opposites, even on positions that would definitely be very out of character for McCoy, if it meant it was the “opposite” of what Spock was presenting, and it’s just very frustrating) and the amount of thought Deforest Kelley put into McCoy is quite amazing (I have a press release where he talks really in-depth about it, it’s a wonderful read!) and it’s nicer that fans have seen through some of that OOC bs and came up what maybe they were trying to establish with him at the time but didn’t always succeed.

And yes, to the boundless potential for McCoy angst, whump and pining. Goodness.

You have a good point about AUs! They really do work well transposed into all kinds of AUs (I know, I’ve accumulated to many in my fic wips lmao) which is a shame because there aren’t enough AU fics for this pair. In recent years, I’ve started to see more of them, but there is definitely room for more!

It’s been awhile since I’ve read Surgeon’s Mate, but I remembered it to be pretty good, and if anyone wants to read it, you can find it on AO3 here. I do remember it’s a pretty “old” fic, like 2011? 2012? It’s been awhile.

If you like Danzinora Switch’s fanvids, I think y’all would enjoy the gen fics. The fics are SUCH a joy to read, especially like that one where Spock & McCoy time travel to Vulcan’s past. It can be all found and read here, on fanfiction.net.

#submission #beastlyanachronism #spones #fic rec #i totally didn't ignore it actually seeing this in the inbox makes me SO HAPPY #i should run another ask time thing like this again it was fun to see y'all's responses

[austennerdita2533]

Hey!

I love Penelope Douglas for sure check her out! She writes some of the best smut tbh. I’m working my way through her devils night series right now-I’m on book 2. It’s good so far, definitely dark though. I’m interested to see how she goes about a redemption arc for the character Damon right now I don’t think he deserves one but I hear such good things about his book, Killswitch, but that’s book 3 so I will see how it goes. I definitely recommend Birthday Girl from her though I loved it and the couple from it are my favorite age gap could I’ve ever read. I find myself still re reading some of their best moments.

I am slightly embarrassed by Credence though so I hope it doesn’t bother you too much if you read it. Just so you know before going into it, it is about her and her step uncle/cousins. To be fair they are not blood related and very distance to the point she didn’t even know about them. But she does call him Uncle Jake during a sex scene, and the two others call her cousin during one too. There’s also a MMF scene with her two cousins. But on top of that there is a sexual assault scene (it does get stopped but the intent is there)-personally I wasn’t a fan of how she inwardly dealt with that scenario it felt like she was blaming herself for it instead of holding the other character accountable. Uncle Jake also does kiss her when she is still 17. So if any of that makes you uncomfortable don’t read it.

I’m so happy you liked the atlas six as much as I did. I can’t believe we have to wait until next year for the sequel to see what happens. It’s too long!! I also liked Callum the least, I still appreciated his character though and what he brings to the story I just wasn’t a fan of his, probably because of his problems with Libby/Parisa. Plus his powers terrify me-as someone who likes to have full control of my emotions the fact that someone could just change everything scares me. I also loved Nico he is my typical character that I love the whole I’m an asshole but soft and caring for the people I love gets me every time. Parisa is my queen though I’m obsessed with her. Like I’m literally in love with her, I wish she was real so she could be with me instead. Not that she would because I’m broke have 0 magic or power to give to her, but still. But I have a thing for power hungry women so I was gone the second I met her. But anyway if she was real she could destroy me or do anything she wanted to me and I would say thank you. Reina I also love and agree she could destroy the whole planet and one day probably will. I just love how she is there and wants all that knowledge but also doesn’t give a fuck about anyone else. Tristan also grew on me I’m still not completely sure how much I like or don’t like him yet he gets annoying sometimes because he is constantly in his mind about his alliances but I also love how loyal and caring he is. Libby is my girl!! I also relate to her as well since I was an outcast and battled inadequacy and all that (you and I must have some stuff in common!) Out of all the characters I relate to her the most and am rooting for her so hard-also because the author made her from Pittsburgh and I’m also from the area so I felt personally attached. But Olivie just did an interview and said Libby is getting a corruption arc and I am so excited about it!!

Okay ships- so I will be honest and I think it’s an unpopular opinion but oh well-I am a nicolibby stan. They have every single dynamic that I love in a ship and they could potentially be my favorite book couple of all time if that is the road they are being taken. Honestly I was obsessed with them from their first interaction so i have it bad for them. Obviously I know they were not romantic in this book but the potential (at least for me) was there especially in some of their quotes in the end. I fully believe they are soulmates though-even the author said they were born on the same day and feel like their other half is missing in an interview once-whether that will be platonic soulmates or romantic soulmates I have no idea and I could see either happening. My heart will break if it is platonic but it’s okay I can just live in my own little head about their potential.

But I get the idea and also like both libbytristan and NicoGideon and could see those happening instead of nicolibby too. I wouldn’t say I would be mad about it either-I do like both just to me the potential of nicolibby works more for me! My only thing about libbytristan though is I’m not sure how much of their tension/feelings are real (like did any of it exist before Parisa put the idea of the other person in their thoughts to lead to all the feelings.)

Weirdly enough since they probably my least favorite characters I also adore Tristan and Callum together. Their dynamic just works for me.

And I love Parisa and Dalton too and I’m so interested in how that relationship pans out because they have some stuff to figure out. But they work well together and honestly they are just so sexy together so I’m down for it. Although I do ship myself with Parisa more than her and Dalton but I’m biased.

Honestly though all the ships are wide open though so I’m curious to see what ends up being endgame. But omg yes the twist I was not expecting it-I’m so excited for the rest of this trilogy!!!

In other news though I finished up the ravenhood series. I know you said you either read it or it was on your tbr. But god I loved it. That series broke me and then put back all the pieces. If you haven’t read it and want to feel both heartbreak and happiness I highly recommend it!

Oh and don’t apologize for babbling as you can tell I also babble!!

-ACOTAR anon

Hiiiii sweets!

I've been sifting through a bunch of summaries of Penelope Doulgas' work on Goodreads and there's a bunch of stuff there I think I'd enjoy. I'm all about good smut. I didn't realize she had that many books. I'm excited! Thanks so much for the rec! I love dark romances/erotica every now and again so I'm also going to have to dive into the Devil's Night series at some point.

Oh, and idk if you know about it/read it but a couple of my friends told me about the Crossfire series by Sylvia Day a while back. It's BDSM, like Fifty Shades, but supposedly loads better. I don't know if you're into that but I figured I'd just throw it out there anyway. The smut is supposed to be steamy. I haven't read it yet but I do have the first four novels on my Kindle (where they've been sitting, unread, for about 2 years now)...so that's something haha.

And please don't be embarrassed about Credence. Seriously, the most wonderful thing about reading is you can go wherever tf you want in your imagination. No one can stop you. There are no rules. No restrictions. You can be whomever or whatever you want to be for a while, morality notwithstanding. One of my favorite things about books is that I can experience the most bonkers, outlandish out-of-this-world stuff that I'd never dream of wanting/liking in real life. It's liberating!

Thank you for the trigger warnings, though. I appreciate that. None of them sound off-putting enough to keep me from reading it. (Tbh, I want to read it more now.) I've read loads of books where characters marry or have sex with their cousins or siblings *waves at ASOIAF, the Secret History* so it doesn't bother me. I've also read most of Lolita and all of My Dark Vanessa by Kate Russell, which both romanticize pedophilia in disturbing degrees, so it takes a lot to put me off. If curiosity could kill then I'd be long dead by now. Hell, sometimes I will purposely read things I know will upset me to my core. What can I say? I'm a weirdo. 🙃

I DON'T WANT TO WAIT A YEAR FOR BOOK 2 OF THE ATLAS SERIES, EITHER. AHHHHH. How am I going to make it that long? It seems so far away!

Callum is the most terrifying of them all right now, imo. I think that's why I disliked him the most. Like you, it shook me to my core to imagine someone like him being able to toy with my emotions. I have a tendency to detach, to keep my emotions pressed close to my chest so that I can't be manipulated or hurt, and the idea that someone could have power over them, over me in that way is...no freaking thank you! I would put as much space between him and me as possible. Most of the Atlas crew had the right idea there. He does bring a lot to the story, though, like you said. I have a feeling he's going to be one of those characters I "love to hate" as the series progress. I might even grow to "hate to love" him, idk. He's just such a shady bastard! And so judgmental/mean to the girls.

I'm with you on Parisa, by the way. She's the kind of conniving, ambitious siren of a woman I can get behind. She has a similar vibe as Katherine Pierce on TVD. I mean, there's nothing in her arsenal she won't use and I love how she weaponizes her beauty. It's delicius. She's unpredictable. Definitely the type of character who inspires "scared and aroused" energy any time she walks into a room. Like, she could choke you and instead of crying you'd just ask her to do it again...harder lol.

Reina has the same kind of "no fucks given" attitude I have because I genuinely don't care what people think of me, either. I'm just here to do my thing. Be nerdy. Learn. Whatever. And Nico is my fave for the same reason as you--the asshole who only has soft edges for those who matter to him. *heart eyes*

Omg, Libby is going to have a corrupted arc? AHHHHH. That's going to be amazing, I cannot stinking wait! I was sort of hoping she'd go dark so now that it's confirmed I'm even more pumped. Also, I think you and I have more in common than either of us realized. I'm from the Pittsburgh area, too! How wild is that? Maybe there's something in the water here and that's why, like Libby, we've both felt inadequate and like outcasts at different points in our lives? Olivie might be onto something here...🤔

The thing that's been so cool for me about this series so far is that there are a bunch of potential pairings I could get behind. And I kind of like that it's not clear cut right now. Most series I know who I want together or who will be together like halfway through book 1. I like that I don't know have firm preferences and am still open. That's novel. Not to mention fun!

I don't blame you for shipping Nicolibby so hard, though. They're definitely one of my top contenders for a romantic pairing. They have that enemies-to-lovers element with witty banter that I always gravitate toward. And you're right about Libby/Tristan. I don't know how much of their connection was manufactured because Parisa intervened, either. That'll be fun to puzzle out moving forward. And Callum/Tristan should NOT be a ship I like but they have a palpable something that I can't put my finger on. I've got my eye on them, for sure.

The Ravenhood series is still on my tbr. I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it so much, though! It's rare to read something that just ticks all your boxes. The next time I'm the mood to binge a series I'm gonna have to pick that one up. :-D

I've been trying to clear out my backlog of ARCs lately. (Not possible because I'm getting more on the regular - as in constantly haha - but I'm trying.) I just finished Wish You Were Here by Jodi Picoult, which has a Sliding Doors premise that is set during the pandemic where the main character has a parallel life experience (one, where she's in the Galapagos Islands on vacation when the shutdown hits so she's stuck there with strangers, alone, not speaking the language; the other, where she's in Manhattan with her surgeon boyfriend and recovering from COVID). It's intense but so, SO good! Picoult is such a good writer. Anything I've read by her has been moving, with rounded and real characters. I haven't been disappointed yet. I so recommend her.

Oh, and if you're into nonfiction/biographies at all I finished The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson not long ago, which is about Winston Churchill as well as those around him, and it was fantastic! Read more like fiction. I loved it. I am no longer surprised it was on all the BEST lists for 2020.

#anonymous #darling acotar anon #replies #the loveliest of lovely people #ashlee bree talks books

[tobeornottotc]

FRIEND FOREVER/ OUR LOVE IS SICK THE SERIES  REVIEW/ANALYSIS

Is there anyone else watching this gem of a series? Probably not. Anyways I know I said that I won’t be watching anymore new Bls already airing but I have a confession! I’m in love with a certain underrated series (mostly because it’s not available easily to international fans) called Friend Forever the series especially with one of my fave couples that are so adorable, so warm, and make me giggle ; Sea and Tin 😍😍

Review/ Recap so far

Tin has unrequited feelings for Sea (a musician and poor) and he’s determined to spend as much time as possible with him to make it requited; making up excuses like asking Sea to teach him the guitar. Sea on the other hand is into this childhood friend of his a girl who only likes rich guys from the school like Tin. Sea asks Tin (unaware what it’s for) to teach him how to appear cool and rich in exchange for guitar lessons. Here we have them secretly form a really cute friendship filled with romantic coding so obvious it hurts; longing from Tin and  ofcourse them automatically getting closer closer as each episode goes. It’s clear that Sea is finding Tins presence in his life welcoming and he’s now automatically showing that he cares for him too without knowing what it means 🥺 Now we thought we already had enough heartbreak coming on our plate but there’s also Romeo and juliet like storyline with Tin and Sea. Itt the school most wealthiest student and also Tins best friend (I’m sure he has feelings for Tin though) is a massive bully who’s in the closet and is determined to prevent the music club being friends with his crew. He hates that Sea stands up to him and so has put a target on Sea thereby making Sea and Tin have to hide their friendship from him and the whole school (apart from the music club) 😢 Itt is awful but I can’t help but also love him and ship him with own couple another close friend of his who seems to really care for him and see him at his most vulnerable (mostly crying about Tin) ,Voice. They are also cute and adorable .

So as you have guessed I am OBSESSED with Sea and Tin. Have been for a while; they are so wholesome, so special and it’s so nice to see Sea slowly fall for Tin. Also I just enjoy how the actor of Tin and how he acts when he’s longing for Sea, or panicking about stuff or even just smiling at Sea. These two make my teeth hurt from how sweet they are. When they’re in the room together they forget others exist, they only hug each other when it’s meant to be a group hug, they look for each other everywhere (even Itt notices them eating on separate tables but acting like they’re on a date with each other, eyes transfixed on the other, smiling and giggling) it’s a sight to behold . They are so precious and I know the girl Sea has feelings for is going to soon come back to the picture since he’s doing all this for her but hopefully the heartbreak and angst don’t last that long 🥰

Other things that I should mention about the show

Sea and Tin are main characters in Friend forever but they aren’t the only one we have Oil and Tan but I don’t care for them per say. Tan knows he has feelings for Oil but acts tough on the outside to his childhood friend meanwhile Oil gets chased by a lot of people romantically and it seems he’s falling for one of them. Tbh I’m alright with these two but I find my self just caring so much about Sea and Tiin, I get annoyed when they’re not in the screen. Oops 🤭 Tans feelings for Oil is cute though, I just hate jealous possessive storylines and Oil seems to have so many suitors connected to him, not my cup of tea tbh. But you go Oil! We’ve gotten a secret kiss from Tan to Oil in the past as well and he will take that secret to the grave haha and Tan is dealing with mummy and daddy issues as his mum died and his father who abandoned him has entered his life again. You know angsty boy problems. Oil is here to stay with Tan and help him deal with death and keep his promise of being his friend forever get it the name of the series? They are okay just not Tin and Sea.

Itt and Voice are also another fave of mine haven’t fully developed yet but they give me Earn Pete vibes from Love sick. Voice clearly cares about Itt and is always there to listen to him rant and moan and finds him soft despite his bullying tough image. Voice has been just as close as Tin is to Itt but it seems like Itt is more focused on getting Tin to stay his friend forever.  Why the obsession you may ask?  Not really sure but from the way we get glimpses to the reason for why he broke up with the music club and is constantly targeting them I’d say wow surprise! Itt has internalised homophobia!! Urgh. I’m also predicting that the love letter he received in the past is probably from Voice who wanted to test the waters but because Itt panicked and over reacted thinking the music club was making fun of him and threatening him it didn’t go well so he hid that secret. Itts fear of the school finding out his what he is though I don’t even know if he has accepted it about himself yet but the panic was too much, the denial was too much and the obsession with Tin also too much. Let’s see what else happens between this weird angsty love triangle. Hopefully we get a better resolution than Earn and Pete for Itt and Voice. Cannot wait

Friend Forever is a series that I went into at first hesitant watching the first two episodes I was like nah goanna put this on hold, it’s a shock how much I enjoy it. I’m sad that international fans can’t easily get this show (if you want help DM me I’ll show you the way) and I’m sad that because of this, it’s so underrated and has such low views. It gives out Love sick vibes and the acting isn’t cringe, the storyline whilst something you’ve seen before also holds moments of mystery and excitement, and the chemistry between the couples is there. I’m obsessed with Sea and Tin and I can’t wait to see what happens next. MCOT why do you have two versions of this show?? I always have to watch both the MCOT version (a bit shorter has deleted scenes, and censored) and then wait for the directors cut (has all the scenes for the episode that are so important to the story and also has all the kisses and uncensored romantic moments). I hate that about this but for Sea and Tin I guess I’m willing to put up with it. Anyway go watch Friend Forever. Its worth your time.

So far from episode 1-6: Definitely an 8/10 for me. Can’t wait for my babies to realise their feelings or to confront what’s been going on! Let’s watch to find out🙄

#thai bl #friend forever #friend forever the series #our love is sick #reviews #analysis #tinsea #tanoil #ittvoice #mcot

[awed-frog]

Stuff I Never Learned In Uni and Now I’m Gonna Sue:

When he was young, Plato used to wear a ridiculous earring and everybody made fun of him behind his back. Also his original name was Aristocles: ‘Plato’ (= Broady) is a nickname his trainer gave him because he was so stupidly buff.

Aristotle was fond of flashy clothes and flashier rings and spent ages doing his hair.

Socrates used to turn a stick into a pretend horse to amuse his children.

Alcibiades and his friends once got high on stolen Pythia’s herbs and risked the death penalty.

Plutarch literally said “Sex is nice, but have you tried reading Aristobulos?” (his books are now lost, btw, and that goes on my list ‘things to be furious and sad about’)

Empedocles, a vegetarian who won the Olympics, made an ox out of frankincense and myrrh and sacrificed it as a tribute to the gods instead of a real animal. Pythagoras also sacrificed an ox-shaped cake to the gods when he discovered that hypotenuse thing.

Sophist Anchimolus happily survived on figs and water, but people avoided him at the baths because he just stank so much.

Philoxenus and Gnathon the Sicilian used to blow their noses over the best dishes of a buffet, so that other guests wouldn’t eat them first.

The philosopher Crates was called ‘the Door-Opener’ because he had this habit of randomly walk into people’s houses and offer them unwanted and unsolicited advice.

Alcibiades once sent Socrates a gigantic cake for sex-related reasons, and Socrates’ wife was so mad she threw it on the floor and trampled it.

(As a reminder, Alcibiades tried everything he knew to get into Socrates’ pants but the guy just. never. shut. up. and Alcibiades would usually fell into a stupor and sleep.)

Many statues had little umbrellas on their heads so birds wouldn’t poop on them.

A guy once invited King Philip (Alexander’s dad) for dinner, but forgot kings usually travel with dozens of people. When Philip realized his host was embarrassed because there wasn’t enough food for everyone, he discreetly told his companions to leave room for cake. People ate very little in expectation of a glorious dessert, and so there was enough for everyone.

“Dreaming about cakes without cheese is a good omen, but cheesecakes signify deceit and trickery.” (Artemidorus, who totally wasn’t pulling things out of his own ass)

Proving nothing ever really changes and time is an illusion, Plutarch complained that the guides at Delphi would bore everyone to death by reading every single inscription while their audience baked in the sun.

“If a cucumber is bitter, just throw it away...Don’t go and complain Why do such things exist in this world?” (Marcus Aurelius, unproblematic fave; also filed under ‘does it spark joy?’)

Wine jars had a piece of wood inside it, so the mice who fell in could climb back out (a Most Civilised custom imo).

“Those drunk on wine fall on their faces; those drunk on beer fall on their backs.” (this from Aristotle, I dare hope from personal experience)

Empedocles once attended a party where the host told his guests they could either drink or be drenched in wine. The next day, he had the man executed. “This was the beginning of his career in politics”.

Alexander put collars on a number of deer to determine how long they lived. When they were caught, more than a hundred years later, they had not aged a day. (*stanning intensifies*)

A good method to stop children from crying: fasten a sponge on a jar of honey and give it to them. Probably also doubles as a good method for making their teeth fall out.

Several people tried to pass laws against children’s tantrums.

A flying pig once devastated the Ionic city of Clazomenae.

Greek divers had snorkels so they could stay longer underwater.

“The students nod to each other about charioteers, or mime-actors, or horses, or dancers, or about some gladiatorial fight; some just stand there like a block of stone, others pick their noses...Anything is preferable to paying attention to their teacher.” (Libanius, #bless; he also complained that students would rather handle snakes than touch their textbooks)

Aristotle made fun of Herodotus for saying a black man’s semen must also be black.

When Gelon, the future tyrant of Syracuse, was a boy, a wolf came into his classroom and stole his writing tablet. Gelon ran after him, and as soon as he’d stepped outside the school there was an earthquake: all the other children and their teacher died.

Archimedes once built a big-ass ship for king Hieron of Syracuse. It had a gymnasium, gardens, a library, a seawater pond full of fish and mosaics detailing the entire Iliad.

There was a rumor Sophocles died when he tried to recite his Antigone and couldn’t stop for breath because he never used commas. (#KarmaIsABitch)

In Sparta, all the girls and young men who were unmarried were locked together in a dark room. The men then grabbed a girl, and whoever they grabbed, they had to marry. Lysander, the famous Spartan general, was fined for abandoning the girl he caught and scheming to marry a prettier one.

Crocodile dung was considered an essential ingredient in face masks, but dishonest sellers would often present starling dung as crocodile’s.

There were beauty contests in several cities, both for men and for women. Some cities also held modesty contests for women.

The only valid reasons for being late at the Olmypics were illness, shipwreck and capture by pirates.

Pythagoras was shocked by how women lend each other clothes and jewelry without paperwork or a witness to the transaction.

Demosthenes refused to pay the prostitute Lais (a man) half a million dollars to sleep with him, declaring “I don’t buy regret at such a high price”. 

Bald men made money by allowing people to break pots over their heads for fun.

In Southern Italy there was a breed of sheep whose wool was so valuable, shepherds put leather jackets on them so it wouldn’t be ruined by bushes and thorns.

The Gauls used to throw letters on funeral pyres so the dead could read them in their next life.

In Sparta, every year boys were whipped for an entire day on the altar of Artemis. Some died, but the ones enduring it most gracefully received the highest honors.

Plato once gave a public reading of his treatise On the Soul and Aristotle was the only person who stayed until the end.

The statues of unpopular politicians were thrown in the sea or turned into chamber pots.

Apsethus the Libyan trained some parrots to say ‘Apsethus is a god’, and the Libyans, impressed by the miracle, started to worship him. Then a Greek came along and trained the parrots to say ‘Apsethus put me in a cage and forced me to say Apsethus is a god’ so when the Libyans heard that, they seized Apsethus and burned him to death.

An idiot named Marcus insisted in running a race in full armour. He was so slow, at midnight the stadium authorities locked everything up because they mistook him for one of the statues. When they opened up again in the morning, they found he’d finished his first lap.

Athens was plagued with gangs of rich kids running around and stealing the offerings left for the gods. One of them was called The Hard Dicks.

Some many men died in the Peloponnesian War the city of Athens made polygamy legal. Euripides thus had two wives, but wasn’t happy with either of them.

A character in one of Euripides’ plays argued that wealth matters more than morality and the audience got so mad Euripides had to come on stage and beg them to wait for the end of the play - promising the guy would be revealed as the villain and meet a dreadful end.

When Rhodopis, a beautiful prostitute, was taking a bath, an eagle stole her shoe. It carried it all the way to Memphis and dropped it on the lap of Pharaoh Psammetichus, who immediately ordered the whole country to be searched for the owner of such a beautiful and shapely shoe. When Rhodopis was found, he married her.

In Elysium, the fortunate dead enjoy checkers, horse riding, gymnastics and playing the lyre.

[Source: various Greek authors, collected by J.C. McKeown in A Cabinet of Greek Curiosities. Also available: Ancient Medical Curiosties and Roman Curiosities.]

#ancient greece #greece #history #classics #antiquity #til #trivia #philosophy #athens and sparta #cinderella #cheesecake #aristotle #plato #euripides #so this book was a nice find #i left out a couple of ghost stories #but #i'll try to make that post about magic #later today

[ezrisdax-archive]

Do you ship any Star Trek rare pairs? Tell us what you like about them!!!

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

I mean that’s most of my trek ships because of femslash, I’d guess kiradax might not fully count but!

ezri/leeta

I barely see any of this which is funny to me cause their mirrorverse pair is married for god sakes. but anyway I like both the mirrorverse pair of them and the main pair itself. I just think Ezri needs someone who would let her ramble and just get it? And also maybe not be someone Jadzia was involved with that much. I know Leeta and Jadzia were friends but like they weren’t as close and Leeta seems the most chill about Dax switching hosts. She’s a go with the flow person and Ezri could learn that at times too.

idk, I mostly just think they are cute and had potential and it was a shame we only got a season of Ezri so they don’t interact as much

ogawa/tasha

I once made an au gifset of this pairing because I just like the idea of them meeting and Tasha as security always coming in injured and Ogawa helping her out and them talking and getting to know each other over time and then getting to spend time together outside of sickbay and I just think?? it could be cute?? they could be cute?? give Ogawa a girlfriend pls.

joann/keyla

now I’m not sure how much this qualifies as a rare pair anymore, it def would meet the criteria on ao3 so I’m counting it. my god the looks between these two, the way Joann has been there for Keyla this season and noticed right away something was off and has just been reaching out. I’d love to see more of them interacting, what we do get each episode is small but it does give me hope they actually might head there some day? Like I’m not used to getting the potential of canon, it’s wild.

I do wish they’d delve more into their backstory and give me more details about Joann but I do accept these two aren’t main characters and then that gives me leave to make this however much I want of a big deal. to me they’re a big deal and I just need them to get together, I want to see that relationship develop.

michael/tilly

oh man I just checked and technically by ao3 rules which is to say if you have less than 200 fics on there, they count as a rare pair. That’s just sad to me because I do feel they should have a lot more and wow I’ve only written one fic for them??? I gotta fix that at some point.

These two!!!! I don’t have enough words to explain how much it means to these how these two hug and hold hands and are just there for each other!! all the time!! always in each others corners!! trying to cheer each other up!! jumping in to help the other without hesitation!! I need more of it, like what they’ve given me is great but I miss these two being roommate buddies this season, please give me another shot of them in their room just talking to each other about what Michael’s been through the year she was in the future without them.

Like this I’ve accepted I’ll not get as canon, I’m not expecting it and that’s fine but I still enjoy every scene they get to have with each other and they are just so cute ; ; I love them both so much and please kiss, I know I just said I accepted it but please.

b’elanna/seven

okay this one counts too apparently! now a lot of my feelings for these two you can blame @trillscienceofficer because she encourages me with these two but like there’s so much there.

there’s the whole outsiders together thing going on they have, the whole somewhat antagonistic but also a huge amount of respect for each other thing, the whole pushing each other to be better, there’s just a lot with these two that I enjoy.

I think Seven does need someone who would call her on the bullshit of trying to remain logical and unemotional and B’Elanna needs someone with a cooler head at times to make her see beyond just her immediate reaction. I really enjoy that over time you can see this relationship between them grow into a friendship and I just like to imagine more from there.

b’elanna/stadi

OKAY LISTEN.

tom dies in the pilot and I get stadi au is like...one of my fave aus. they’d be so much fun together! Stadi enjoyed the teasing and I can def see her doing that with B’Elanna and sure there’d be some antaganism at first because Starfleet vs Maquis stuff but they’d get there and I just wanted to see it. I just like to imagine it happening in my head.

t’pring/uhura

oh my god I did not expect this to count but I do think it might just be a bigger thing on tumblr than elsewhere. or maybe that’s just me. anyway, these two! one of my top trek femslash ships! like c’mon Uhura straight up “she’s beautiful” and I’m expected to not take it this way?

I’ve talked about these two so much at times before so I think I don’t have too much to say here beyond....Uhura deserved a girlfriend and T’Pring deserved to see what else what out there beyond Vulcan men. and they deserved to have a proper conversation with each other and do Vulcan kisses and human kisses.

tasha/troi

???? man are all my ships so low on ao3?? I need to fix this somehow. Again I’ve talked about these two enough I don’t have much else to say here because I was robbed of Tasha being in more seasons but what we got of these two interacting was already amazingly gay and god I just like to imagine how much gayer and gooder it would have gotten over time....

ro/tasha

THEY WERE GAY TOGETHER IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE AND I DON’T THINK WE TALK ABOUT THAT ENOUGH. even if they did kill one of them off, whatever I’m over it (a lie). 

worf/deanna

the rare trek het canon ship I have, like yeah I do love deanna/riker but these two were so fucking soft and good in season seven of tng I cry

worf/riker

look I’m putting 1 (one) slash ship on here and it’s this. I just enjoy riker teasing him a lot. I’m a weak individual what can I say.

#beej talks star trek #trek femslash #okay I actually do have a lot more but this post was getting long enough #Anonymous #replies in thirty minutes or its free

[epitheterasedgen]

Since this might be uh.. your last week of open inbox (honestly i totally respect if you wanna jump ship after season 2 drops, though i personally am excited for it) i went ahead and found my fave hc request. If i want ANY of my requests to be the last one, it's gotta be this one so uhh... redwood run trio having a heart to heart about that one time zora tried killing the other two but then THEY zapped her PRETTY BAD so they're all actually secretly upset about the whole thing?? Love your blog,,

Okay so honestly, the reason I’ve never done this as a HC is because I’ve already talked it over/experienced it with @sundialhunter and @goldbricker-ramsey, but for the sake of the EAM AU, I’m gonna steal snippets of various convos with them to address this once and for all.

(Percy walks into the room. It’s late into the A.M. There’s a very loud crying that would wake anybody up who happened to be in the house— at the moment, apparently just Percy.)

Percy: Is everything all right? I thought I heard cryi—

(She freezes. Zora is hunched over on the counter, sobbing her eyes out. There are several empty glasses nearby and a lot of alcohol bottles arranged in front of Ramsey, who looks like he doesn’t know how he got there.)

Percy: Ramsey, what the—

Ramsey: Perc’, I swear, she made me do it, said her Nova metabolism would be fine and she kinda threatened me, so—

(Zora turns and glares at Percy. Tears are streaming down her face and her tattoos are glowing brightly in the darkness. Percy’s understandably shell-shocked.)

Percy: …Zora, what’s this all about?

Zora: …

(Zora’s voice drops to a whisper.)

Zora: ah… ah tried t’KILL yew. in Redwood Run.

Percy: Well, yes. We tried to kill you as well.

Ramsey: For the record, I didn’t necessarily wanna kill anyo—

Zora: NO! YEW DON’T GET IT! 

(She turns to Ramsey.)

Zora: AH CUT OFF YER ARM!

(Then Percy.)

Zora: I tried tah STAB YEW! through the HEART!

(She looks back and forth between both of them, who are silent.)

Zora: wai… wai’d yew ever wanna put up with me after… that… how could yew just… fergive me…?

(She hiccups and sobs while Ramsey looks down at a half-empty bottle of beer.)

Ramsey: …y’know, I’ve done a lot of… (He glances at Percy.) …real stupid stuff during my life. I was always just looking for the next high, the next moment of happiness that’d carry me through, and I never thought about the consequences. Not to myself, or… others. (He pauses.) I’m not sayin’ I’m like you, but… I can get the feeling of not bein’ worthy. For anyone or anything.

(Percy pauses and takes a single step forward.)

Percy: As for me… there is a difference between “dismissal” and “forgiveness.” The very point of forgiveness is that it is undeserved. You do not “deserve” forgiveness, or it would not be forgiveness at all. I choose to forgive you nonetheless.

(Zora SLAMS her glass down, shattering it in the process.)

Zora: BUT WAI?!? wai… why’d…

(She falls into quiet sniffling, wiping her eyes roughly with her poncho.)

Percy: …Perhaps we see more of a potential in you than you see in yourself.

(Percy walks up to both of them and takes their hands gently.)

Percy: Zora, you used to believe Epithets were inherently bad. But you’ve seen now that they have the potential to be good or bad, depending on how they are treated and used. People are the same.

Ramsey: …Geez, Perc’, you got a way of making people cry.

(He rubs at his eyes with his free hand.)

Zora: …yer too good fer this world, Eyebrows.

(Percy shakes her head.)

Percy: I have made mistakes of my own. But that is a discussion for another time. For now, you two need to get to—

(Zora grabs Percy and Ramsey from around the counter and aggressively pulls them into a hug. As she’s a good deal taller than them, they’re effectively buried in her poncho; the sight is almost comical.)

Percy: …bed.

(She slowly and awkwardly returns the three-way embrace, as does Ramsey.)

Ramsey: …yeah. Clearly we all need some sleep.

Percy: And in the morning, you can help me clean up all… this.

(She gestures to the empty bottles and glasses, one of which is now broken.)

Ramsey: Pfff… yeah… that’s fair.

Zora: Ah can’t promise ah won’t be out cold ’til noon, but if yew feel like savin’ me some… yeah, whatever.

#and tysm for the kind words!! I hope this is a satisfying ending for you :") #requested headcanons #answered fic idea #redwood trio #hurt/comfort #kind words #anon

[writeyouin]

Swerve X Reader – Changes - Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - I’m Sticking with You 

A/N – Here it is to keep you all company in quarantine. Also, this reminds me of a fave song of mine: Honey by Bobby Goldsboro. As usual a special thank you to @rocksinmuffin​ for starting this off with the amazing prompts.

Warnings – Mentions of suicide and mnemosurgery.

Rating – T

Swerve sat at a table inside his hab-suite, holding a gun in his servo. It wasn’t fancy or large; it was little more than a pistol really, but it would do the job. He thought he’d feel something about his upcoming demise, but after spending all of his tears on you, there was nothing left to feel. Still, Swerve didn’t think he deserved a quick and painless death. That was why he was spending a short while re-watching his memories of you; it would help further twist the proverbial knife to cause a little extra pain.

“(Y/N), my dearest, my darling, my everything,” Swerve said to the paused memory that only he could see. “I always knew this day would come. I knew if we ever got together you would eventually learn that I was no good for you and that you would leave. Admittedly, I was being selfish when I married you. I hoped… I wish we could have had a bit longer together before you went away.”

He sighed, finding that he wasn’t out of tears for you as he previously thought he was. The coolant slipped unchecked down his cheek and Swerve continued his monologue, though his vocaliser was heavy with static as he did so.

“No matter what happens, or wherever I end up after this, I want you to know, I will always love you, even if you don’t love me anymore.”

With that, he played the memory he had been saving till last; it would be the last thing he saw before taking the fatal shot.

The memory was one of the many times that you had sang the Velvet Underground’s ‘I’m Sticking with You.’

Swerve’s frame shook with his final tears. He couldn’t keep his servos steady as he lifted the pistol.

‘Anything you want me too

I'll do anything for you

Oh, I'm sticking with you

Oh, I'm sticking with you

Oh, I'm sticking with you.’

The song drew to an end and Swerve closed his optics. He held the pistol barrel to his helm, vented air through his systems and put his finger over the trigger.

Ultra Magnus ran to the holding cell. Only minutes ago, he had made a check on the security cameras, which was where he saw Whirl unmoving in a pool of his own energon; if he had ever thought Whirl to be suicidal, he would never have sent him to solitary confinement.

Slamming his palm against the cell’s scanner, he opened the door. He scanned Whirl, finding him alive, barely. Rushing to his aid, Ultra Magnus applied pressure to the stab wound whilst calling Ratchet and Velocity for medical assistance.

Fortunately, while Ultra Magnus was doing all that he could to save Whirl, he didn’t miss the giant note on the cell wall. His optics widened in surprise and he sent out an all-bot-alert to find out who was the closest to Swerve’s room. It was Chromedome who responded first, with a general message of curiosity.

Ultra Magnus thanked Primus that he had go in touch with one of the bots who knew just how important a Conjunx Endurae was.

“Chromedome, you must take this message to Swerve immediately. (Y/N) did not leave him intentionally. An accident must have caused the Rod Pod to malfunction. He needs to know.”

“What are you going to do?” Chromedome responded, concerned for your safety as he had been since the moment you left.

Ultra Magnus didn’t mention his priority to Whirl. Instead he simply answered, “Organise a rescue party. Now tell Swerve. Go!”

That was around ten minutes before Swerve picked up the gun that could end his life.

You pressed a servo to a dent in your helm, already regretting the damage that had come to your new body. Fortunately, it was mostly just scraped paint, but you still felt the occasional twinge of pain from another bump elsewhere. Then again, you felt you could live with a bit of minor damage to your systems. After the Rod-Pod crash-landed on the alien planet, you knew your previous human body would have died upon impact.

Orienting yourself, you stood up, feeling nauseous when the ship lurched forward. You stood as still as you could, waiting to see if it would make any more sudden movements. When you thought it was safe, you walked across the ceiling of the upside-down ship to the control panel.

“Ship,” You called, hoping it might respond. “Rod-Pod? If I say I’m Rodimus will you wake up please?”

The ship didn’t respond. You had hoped it might at least send out a warning or an error code or something, but it seemed completely destroyed. You didn’t even think there was any power left in it since the screen and lights were off.

You remained perfectly calm as you kicked at the ship’s entrance, taking a few goes before it broke open. You stumbled out into a desert comprised of fine white sand wherever you looked.

“Great, I couldn’t have landed in a city or near a town. No, I had to land on fucking Tatooine.”

‘Ugh,’ You thought dismally, ‘More like discount Tatooine. At least real Tatooine had some buildings…somewhere.’

Still, you were Cybertronian now. Maybe somewhere in your brain was instructions to repair the Rod-Pod. You looked at the crashed ship, noting for the first time that the exterior was on fire. There was no way in hell you were repairing that.

Trying to hold onto your previous sense of serenity, you thought about how Whirl had taught you to bring your optics online during your previous panic attack. If making a call was anything like that, maybe you could call Swerve. You hoped you could. Not only were you in need of rescue from the desert planet, you also needed him to know you were sorry, that you still loved him, and most importantly, that you would get back to him, no matter what.

“If Marlin the fish can get his son from a dentist in Sydney, I can do this. Uh, body, call Swerve,” You commanded.

Nothing happened.

“Please, call Swerve?”

You closed your optics and pictured your old communicator as well as Swerve’s face. ‘Please… I need him. Please don’t cut him out of my life.’

You grew both frustrated and upset when several more attempts at calling your husband didn’t work. What if it was the dent in your head causing interference? Or maybe you were too far away from Swerve for anything to happen? Was that possible? You had never thought to ask Swerve how his body worked; it had simply never come up in casual conversation. Suddenly a truly dreadful thought hit you. What if word of your departure had reached him already? He wouldn’t think you had left him, would he? He wasn’t the most stable bot at the best of times, and you knew the way his separation anxiety and fears of being inadequate could course him to self-destruct.

“CALL SWERVE!” You screamed at yourself, fearing for his well-being. “NOW! I- I need to know that he’s safe. Please…” You fell to your knees, crying and holding your head in your servos, “Please, call Swerve.”

Once again you were left with nothing but the deafening silence that surrounded you on the barren planet, but you weren’t ready to give up. At least, you thought you weren’t until you heard the rumbling of engines. Looking to the horizon, you saw five vehicles that looked like quad-bikes in the distance, the riders of which were hidden under white body armour.

Venting air through your systems in a manner that simultaneously soothed you and freaked you out, you decided to take a long walk away from the Rod-Pod. You had heard tales of the scavengers that lived on barren planets. They had probably been travelling since you crashed, hoping to steal whatever was left over from the ship. Yet, as you moved further to the left, so did the bikes. You continued moving further away from the Rod-Pod, but the bikes changed course to match yours. You prayed that they were coming to your aid, yet as they got closer, you saw the giant crossbows come up from the vehicles subspaces.

If you were still human you would have broken into a sweat. As a Cybertronian you couldn’t do that, but you still had your fight and flight response to work with. You ran. Every so often, you would risk a look behind you, hoping that you would be able to scan one of the vehicles and transform. As with your earlier attempts to call Swerve, nothing happened when you tried to transform. The only thing you did find from occasionally looking back was that the organics chasing you weren’t actually wearing white body armour; they were the armour, so to speak. You supposed it had to be some kind of exoskeleton, stretched over long bony limbs that stuck hideously outwards.

You kept on running, putting all the power in your new legs into fleeing the monstrous organics. What had started off as the Star Wars experience had quickly turned into a bad remake of Mad Max: Fury Road.

You wished that having a Cybertronian body could have been as easy as having a human body, but apparently without instructions or a mentor, you were useless. You couldn’t call for help, you couldn’t transform, and worst of all, you couldn’t outrun your hunters. That much became clear as you saw them gaining in your peripheral view. What you didn’t see was the two quadbikes behind you aiming their crossbows for your arms, though you soon felt it. Screaming in pain, you fell to your knees.

Although it was probably futile, you fought the waves of searing hot pain, forcing yourself back up and facing off against your eerily silent attackers. You pulled against the barbed hook in your left arm, trying to remove it. However, no amount of brute strength could save you from the electrical charge that both crossbow bolts emitted, coursing through your systems to temporarily shut them down. This time, when you fell to the ground, you didn’t get back up, and the raiders were free to claim you as their prize.

Chromedome pelted down the hallway, making his way to Swerve to tell him the partially good news. He couldn’t wait to see Swerve’s face when he told him that you hadn’t left him and it was only going to be a matter of tracking the Rod-Pod’s trajectory to find you and bring you home to him.

Without even bothering to knock, Chromedome burst into Swerve’s hab-suite, shocked to find Swerve holding a gun to his own helm. As quickly as he had entered the room, Chromedome wrestled Swerve to the table, which wasn’t too difficult considering how much smaller Swerve was compared to Chromedome.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Chromedome yelled in a panic.

“GET OFF ME!” Swerve cried out in a mix of anger and pleading. “I NEED TO DO THIS!”

“NO, YOU DON’T. YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT (Y/N).”

“DON’T! Don’t Mention her name please,” Swerve voice fell to a whisper and he stopped struggling against Chromedome, though he still reached for the gun which was only a short way from his grasp. “I failed her, Chromedome. I failed her and she hates me. My wife… My wife hates me.”

Chromedome had been to the emotional prison that Swerve was trapped in many times before. He had lost count of the amount of times that he had visited relinquishment clinics on Cybertron, preparing for the day he might snuff out his own spark. He knew from those experiences that Swerve wouldn’t just believe him if he told the truth about you. Instead, Swerve would think it was all an elaborate lie to stop him from ending his life. That left Chromedome with the problem of what to do.

Without thinking about it, Chromedome held Swerve down more firmly, releasing his mnemosurgery needles from the tips of his fingers. He told himself he was doing this for Swerve. After all, he was only planning to remove the memories of your departure until Swerve was in a safe place for him to explain everything. If Rewind was there, he would have told Chromedome that he was only doing it for himself, and that mnemosurgery was both addictive and evil; Primus knew they had had the argument enough times in the past, but if Rewind wasn’t around to see it, then it didn’t matter if Chromedome fell back into old habits and performed one tiny memory rewrite, did it?

“What are you doing?” Swerve asked, feeling the panic rise inside him. He began struggling again, babbling as he did so, “Chromedome, did I hear a shunk? I distinctly heard a shunk. Was that your needles? You can’t rewrite my memories. I don’t deserve to live for what I’ve done. CHROMEDOME, I MEAN IT! DON’T YOU DARE CHANGE ME! DON’T YOU DARE!”

“Shhh,” Chromedome hushed the mini-bot in a tone that was supposed to be comforting but sounded only menacing to Swerve. “It’s all going to be all right. In a few minutes, it will all be over.”

There was a quiet knock at the door, followed by Rung’s soft voice, “Swerve, are you in there?”

Chromedome cursed and covered Swerve’s mouth. Seeing the needles that were to wipe his memories only made Swerve panic more, and he was afraid that he might purge his tanks, even if his mouth his covered.

Rung continued speaking, used to being met by the silence of his patients when they had been through something traumatic, “I was just finished with work today and I thought you might like some company.”

Throwing his head from side-to-side rapidly, Swerve managed to shake Chromedome’s servo loose, “HELP! HE’S GONNA RE-WRITE-”

Chromedome pushed Swerve’s helm into the table, and whispered in his audial-receptor, “I’m helping you, idiot.”

But it was too late for Chromedome, Rung had heard enough in that cry for help and had used his all-access pass to enter the hab-suite. He took everything in, made a note to work with Chromedome to save him from his mnemosurgery surgery addiction, and called security all in the space of under a minute. For now, Swerve was safe and alive, though Swerve knew it wouldn’t be long before his second attempt to journey to the afterspark.

You woke up in a metal cell and you didn’t have to touch the bars to know they were electrified; evidently, you new body had better hearing than your previous one, allowing you to hear the hum of a strong electrical current. You wondered whether you should call for a guard to see what they were going to do with you, but what was the point? You would probably find out soon enough anyway.

Sitting up in the corner of the cell, you examined the damage to your arms. You had always thought that Cybertronians didn’t feel much pain compared to humans, but evidently you were wrong. The only difference between the two species was how resilient Cybertronians were. Whoever your kidnappers were, they knew how to get past Cybertronian resistances.

You heaved a sigh and winced as you put your arms down. You thought about trying to call Swerve again but decided against it. He was probably trying to call you, and if he couldn’t do it then you had to be too far away.

‘Swerve…’ You thought of him and all the ways he made you happy. Being without him since the first time you were married only made you morose as you sat with nothing but the hum of the fence to keep you company.

This could be the last night of your life before it came to an untimely end. With that in mind, you thought of Swerve and started to sing.

“I'm sticking with you,

Cause I'm made out of glue.

Anything that you might do,

I'm gonna do too.”

Like my work? Buy me a coffee and earn preview of the next fic, or commission me on the commissions page.

#swerve #swerve x reader #swerve x human reader #ll #lost light #The Lost Light #MTMTE #Transformers MTMTE #transformers #tf #maccadam #idw #chapter 5 #changes #reader #reader insert #fanfiction #fanfic #suicide mention #im sticking with you #I'm sticking with you