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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 3 months

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the baftas: my eyes need bleach after the livestream chat.

I SAID I WOULD COME TO TUMBLR AND SLUT-SHAME ALL OF YOU, AND YOU BET YOUR GODDAMN BILDADDY I'M HERE TO DO IT. First, a huge thank you to @good-usernames-were-taken, Valerie, for enabling this entire chaos and streaming it. And of course to Disappointment the Main Maggot.

Second, as per requests from you maggots, I have to give an honourary mention to the tragic lack of an emotional support gaseous orange, the late half-eaten packet of Lays on my desk, and my nearly empty can of Monster energy. Idk either, you asked for the mentions you got them.

Without further ado, presenting the BAFTA Awards 2024:

I am busy drawing out the neckline stitches of Crowley's wedding dress, when I am reminded of the stream and I crash into it midway. Little do I know what I am getting into.

Everyone is here for David Tennant. No one is here for the actual awards. This is made very clear very quickly.

KNEES. JUST KNEES. ALL EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT, THROUGHOUT THE STREAM, IS DAVID TENNANT'S KNEES. ARE YOU ALL OKAY WHAT THE FRESH HELL.

For context, David is in a kilt for the first half. I finally see why my relatives disapprove of skirts above knee-length. I never knew humanity's unholy worship of knees till I came here.

SOMEONE ASKS IF DAVID HAS TANNED HIS KNEES. MAGGOTS. PLEASE.

We interrupt our regular scheduled program of David knees to have an intense discussion about British versus French humour, and the misgendering of croissants.

RDJ wins an award and calls his wife his Alpha and Omega.

We're back to the knees. I can't handle how slutty David's knees are, says a worthy maggot.

This goes into a discussion about tickets for David's Macbeth, because, you guessed it, the kilt and the knees.

A lot of gorgeous and talented women in the BAFTAs tonight. I am floored.

I am not allowed to dwell in my awe because the chat is not a place of the lord. Curtain calls of Macbeth are discussed with unnecessary lasciviousness.

Thankfully, in the midst of this, I get a great Zodiac pattern reference for Crowley's wedding dress cummerbund. I was going to have to research the night sky for star charts but this is better.

People show their beautiful brainrot-induced Doc Marten purchases.

The knee thirst has moved into X-rated territory. I am terrified.

A song is sung in memory of film industry people who passed away this year, and people are sad about Dumbledore but at the same time are imagining Aziraphale and Crowley dancing to the song. The brainrot is real.

I accidentally spoil Saltburn's freakshow for someone. When I ask how I can make up for it, they say something about GOAD. I'm alarmed. Is that an OnlyFans, I ask. It's Good Omens After Dark, the chat answers. Is THAT an OnlyFans, I ask. Close enough, the chat says.

David has now changed outfits to a suit, which finally makes people pay attention to the BAFTAs, if only to alternatively thirst over the suit and bemoan the loss of knees.

Things, uh, happen, which I will have to include as quotes in another post. Cheers, @thearoacemess and @vitrilol.

Barty Crouch Jr is debated about as the Wolfstar child. Bratty Crouch Jr is said to be Crowley.

I obtain a banana, which I associate with blowjobs.

@thearoacemess talks about someone deepthroating a seven-inch banana without a hitch.

The stream does a flashback to the kilt time. It is a mistake. @queermarzipan barrels in and is being too slutty about the knees.

I tell them they need jesus, and they yell about how they've gone to mass twice today and they're an atheist.

Thankfully, @vitrilol starts chanting about the glory of Ireland. The only thing that will distract Marzipan from David Tennant is Ireland.

He proceeds to start screech-singing in all caps.

🎵IRELAND IIIRELAND TOGETHER STANDING TALLLL.🎵

The BAFTAs end. People are still thirsting over David Tennant.

🎵I KNOW YOU'RE MISSING HOME IT'S SO LONG SINCE YOU'VE BEEN🎵

Uh, more dubious things about David, suits and the absence of said suits are discussed. I'm trying my damndest not to notice.

🎵AND THE LIFE YOU HAD IN DUBLIN NOW AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A DREAM🎵

There is accidental Mascot lore: I am apparently from a different timeline (I mixed up timeline and timezone) and that's how Apollo deposited me in an illegal sushi restaurant where I became Neil Gaiman and Michael Sheen's intellectual child.

I am compared to a cat.

TOM HIDDLESTON AND DAVID TENNANT WERE IN THE STAGED-LIKE THING IN THE BEGINNING AHAHAHAHAH LOKI AND CROWLEY MY TWO CELESTIAL GENDERFLUID ICONS.

OKAY so I will end the summary here and make a list of out of context quotes in a new post. Because. Boy oh boy. That deserves its own post.

#good omens mascot #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #david tennant #bafta 2024 #good omens #maggots #good omens fandom #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #michael sheen #bafta awards #bafta #bafta livestream #tom hiddleston #loki #ireland #macbeth

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nicoline1998enilocin · 2 months

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And the Oscar goes to...

PAIRING | Husband!Dad!Robert Downey Jr. x Wife!Mom!Fem!Reader

WORD COUNT | 3.6K

SUMMARY | Your husband, Robert, is on the receiving end of an Oscar, and you decide to celebrate it differently than you usually celebrate his wins. He trusts you fully as he allows you to take the lead in the bedroom, making it a celebration that neither of you will ever forget.

RATING | Explicit (E)

WARNINGS/TAGS | RPF, established relationship, age gap (~ 20 years), use of nicknames (Gorgeous, Bubba), referenced pregnancy.

SMUT | D/S dynamics, Soft Dom!Reader, Sub!RDJ, use of traffic light system, sensory play/deprivation (blindfold), teasing, dirty talk, praise, Daddy kink, size kink, breeding kink, hair pulling, oral (F&M receiving), face sitting, face fucking, gagging, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), multiple orgasms, cockwarming, aftercare.

A/N | This story is dedicated to my best friend and the biggest RDJ supporter I have ever met, @ccbsrmsf1! I am so incredibly proud of him for finally winning an Oscar, so naturally, I had to write a story about how I would celebrate with him! This is proofread by the lovely @ccbsrmsf1, for which I'm deeply grateful ❤️

EVENTS Masterlist | @anyfandomfluffbingo | Trophy spouse

Banners: Yours truly | Divider: @firefly-graphics | Photo: @ccbsrmsf1

Main Masterlist | Robert Downey Jr. Masterlist

"Robert Downey Junior!" The words still echo in your head as you go home after the award ceremony. Your husband, the Dad of your little daughter, and the love of your life has officially won an Oscar. All his hard work has paid off after all these years, and you're grateful to be by his side through it all.

The award is clutched tightly in his right hand, his left hand interlaced with yours as you enjoy the moment. Comfortable silence hangs in the air as you look at him with a wide smile. Knowing how much it means to him, you're incredibly proud of him for winning the award.

"I love you, Gorgeous," he whispers before capturing your lips with his in a sweet, sensual kiss. Your husband may be around 20 years your senior, but that doesn't take away from your shared love. You've never known true love before meeting Robert, but when he promised to show you what that would look like, you knew you were on board for the long haul. And here you are, almost 15 years later, by his side during the biggest night of his life.

"I love you too, Robert," you whisper to him. You allow your head to rest on his shoulder, your eyes fluttering shut as you take in this moment. When he puts his head on yours, he lets out a content sigh. Nights like these take a lot out of you both, but that doesn't stop you from celebrating when you're back home. You plan on making it a celebration never to forget.

The moment you both step in your front door, the award is put away for safekeeping, and you make your way to the bedroom. You two have perfected this routine over the years, but tonight, it calls for special treatment.

"Robert?" you ask as he walks into the attached closet, ready to remove his jewelry and glasses.

"Yes, Gorgeous?" he says as he turns around, facing you before taking a last glance as you're still wearing your dress. He had chosen the one you're wearing to match your skin tone, and you felt like a princess on the red carpet tonight.

"What do you think of reversing the roles for a night? Me taking care of you for once? You deserve it after everything you've done," you tell him as you walk over. Now that you're not wearing your heels anymore, you must look up at him, as the two of you have quite a bit of a height difference.

"That's a perfect idea, Gorgeous. There's no one I trust more to take care of me than you," he tells you, and the feeling of pride blooms in your chest at his words.

"That being said, I was also hoping we could spice it up a bit if you're open to it," you tell him, and he looks at you with a quirked brow.

"I want to blindfold you tonight so you will be completely at my mercy. You will be allowed to touch me - not yourself - the entire time. That being said, I will also use the traffic light system during the entire session," you tell him, and he listens attentively to everything you're saying.

"Green means that you're good, and we can continue. Yellow means that you need to stop for a moment before crossing a boundary you're uncomfortable with or need to reposition. Red means that we will stop and move on to aftercare immediately," you tell him. He tells you loud and clear that he agrees with everything you said.

"Perfect," you tell him before standing on your tiptoes to give him a soft kiss on his lips. Consent has always been meaningful in your relationship, whether in the bedroom or outside, to make it safe for everyone to explore what they are or are not comfortable with at their own pace.

"I want you to get completely bare for me and get seated on the foot of the bed. And I won't say no to you showing off a little when you do it," you tell him, and the smile on his lips lets you know he's more than okay with doing precisely that.

One by one, he sheds his layers of clothing, each exposing more skin as they fall to the floor. When his entire torso is bare, you can't help but let your gaze wander over his muscled abdomen, your lip pulled between your teeth as you take a peek at his bulge as well. He tends to forgo wearing underwear, instead preferring the feeling of freedom over the confinements of tight boxer shorts.

When Robert is soft, he already has quite a noticeable bulge in his pants, but now that he is slowly getting hard, it's starting to strain against the fabric of his pants. His long, skilled fingers unbutton and unzip his pants quickly before the fabric slides down his thick thighs and onto the floor.

A soft whimper escapes your lips as his cock bobs up and down between his legs, the tip already flushed a beautiful shade of pink with his balls hanging beneath them perfectly, ready for you to play with later. After showing off for a few more moments by flexing his biceps and abs, he sits on the foot of the bed, just like you told him to.

"Good boy," you tell him, and you can see his cock twitch as his eyes flutter shut from anticipation. Meanwhile, you have also undressed yourself, being left in the beautiful lingerie he bought you for tonight. The cups of the bra lift your breasts to the point where they're almost spilling out, and the panties are barely there, just the way you both like it.

Every inch of your body is on display as you step in between his legs, your finger hooking beneath his chin to meet your gaze. The usual dark brown of his eyes has almost completely disappeared as his pupils are blown with lust.

"Ready?" you ask softly.

"Ready." As soon as the word has left his mouth, you bring the silk fabric of the blindfold to his face, covering his eyes before tying a knot in the back. It's secure enough not to go anywhere but not so tight that it hurts him. You do it exactly like he's done with you countless times before.

As soon as his sight is taken away, his hands find your thighs, allowing his calloused fingertips to commit every inch of them to memory.

"What's your color?" you ask when the blindfold is adjusted correctly.

"Green," he tells you confidently, and you smile at how he says it. His trust in you is visible in his voice, making the butterflies inside flutter wildly.

You sink on your knees between his legs, and the soft carpet under your knees makes it quite comfortable. Your hands are on his thighs before slowly inching higher, your fingernails softly gliding over the insides of his thighs to tease him a little bit.

A content sound leaves his lips at the feeling, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. After teasing him for a few more moments, you wrap your hand around his now fully hard cock, but it's so big you can barely fit your hand around it as you slowly work him up and down.

"It's so big I can barely fit my hand around it," you tell him between giving small kitten licks to his slit, his mouth going slack in anticipation of what's to come.

"You taste so good, Daddy," you say, and his cock twitches in your hand, which only serves to make you even more wet. The power you have over him, the trust he has put in your hands, has made you so aroused your panties are already completely soaked, and you're dripping onto the carpet below you.

Without any warning, you take his tip into your mouth, sucking softly to earn yourself a delicious groan that sends a shiver down your spine. At the same time, your free hand goes to grab his balls, rolling and squeezing carefully while you slowly work more of him into your mouth.

"That's it, Gorgeous, suck Daddy's cock like you're made for it," he says as his hands are holding tightly onto the sheets. His knuckles have turned completely white when his tip hits the back of your throat, his head falling back at the combined pleasures you're giving him.

"Feels so good, fuck!" he exclaims as you suck him down even more. Even though you've never been able to take his entire length down your throat, you're certainly willing to try and see how far you can get every time. Before you do that, you pull off him with a loud pop.

"I want you to cum down my throat, Daddy; I want to swallow every drop of your delicious cum," you tell him, and he groans in response to your filthy comment. He revels in the dirty talk you two share during these moments, as it adds to his neverending pleasure.

"Yeah? Does my little slut want Daddy's cum? You better work for it then," he says through gritted teeth as one of his hands is placed on your head, pushing you onto his cock until you're gagging around him. As soon as he hears it, he lets up a little, giving you a moment to breathe before doing it again and repeating this quite a few times.

"What's your color, Gorgeous?" Robert asks you this time, and you tell him that it's 'so fucking green' before he goes back to what he did earlier. However, this time he mainly fucks your mouth and throat enough to be still comfortable; all the while, you never stop playing with his balls, and your hand is still wrapped around the part of him you can't reach with his mouth.

"Oh, fuck, 'm cumming, Gorgeous! Fuck, FUCK, FUCK!" he exclaims before his orgasm washes over him, his cum shooting into your throat as you suck your cheeks in. You moan around him at the taste of his cum as he pulls out, every last drop being licked from his tip as it slides out your mouth.

You get up from your placement on the floor before straddling his lap, being mindful of his sensitive cock as it's lying between his thighs. Your arms are draped loosely over his shoulders as you lean in to capture his lips with yours, his tongue instantly slipping into your mouth.

The taste of him and his cum is still fresh on your tongue, and you swallow down his groan as it is shared between you two. One of your hands tangles into his hair while the other is placed on his neck, his own hands kneading the flesh of your ass.

As soon as you pull away, you smile at the thought of what you're about to do next.

"I believe you have to remind yourself of the moment when I said I was supposed to be the one taking care of you," you say, and a content sound slips from Robert's lips.

"Well, since you did not listen to me, I'm going to have to make you listen by using you for my pleasure instead of yours this time. Does that sound fair to you?"

"Yes, Gorgeous," he says, followed by a small sigh. You carefully push him backward until he's lying flat on his back.

"I am going to sit on your face, and you will eat out my pussy until I cum for you. Your hands will stay on my thighs at all times, and if you have to stop, tap either one of my thighs three times, okay?" you ask him, his tongue darting out of his mouth as he's waiting for you to finish.

"Yes." With that, you pull down your now completely ruined panties before discarding them on the floor and taking your place on his face. His arms are hooked over your thighs, and his fingers dig into your flesh as soon as his tongue makes contact with your drenched pussy.

You let out a loud moan as he slurps up every last drop of your juices before letting his tongue dip into your entrance as well as play with your sensitive clit. One of your hands tangles into his hair, and you pull hard as you rock your hips back and forth, the other one finding its place behind you on his chest to give you more leverage.

"That's it, lick my fucking clit until I cum! I'm so close, Daddy, 'm gonna cum for you!" The words are followed by some incoherent thoughts as the pleasure inside you is bound to explode.

The pace you're setting is brutal, but he doesn't let up for even a second, and before you know it, you're entirely soaking the bottom half of his face as your orgasm washes over you, your head thrown back in pleasure with a loud exclaim of his name. It is one of the most intense orgasms you've ever had, and you let yourself fall forward as you go completely limp for a long moment.

"I will never get enough of your sweet taste, Gorgeous, especially when I can drink it directly from the source," he says with a grin. You sigh in contentment before picking yourself back up, ready to move on with the rest of your scene together.

"What's your color, Daddy?"

"So fucking green, Gorgeous, 'm feeling amazing right now," he tells you, and you lean in to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"Good. I want you to sit up and carefully move backward until you feel the pillows so you can get seated comfortably against the headboard, okay?" you ask, and he nods. He does it all while blindfolded, and you help him get comfortable when he has found his place.

"To finish off our special celebration, I'm going to ride this delicious monster cock of yours until you're cumming deep inside my tight, warm pussy as a reward for you being good tonight," you tell him, and he hums in delight.

"Sounds perfect, Gorgeous," he whispers before you place a kiss on his lips and straddle his hips, his cock fully hard as it's lying against his abdomen. A small dribble of pre-cum leaks from the tip as you grab it and line it up before slowly sinking, giving yourself the time to properly adjust to the stretch of his cock inside you.

When he eventually bottoms out, you both let out long, broken moans, the pleasure threatening to become too much right at that moment.

"Color?" ''Green, Gorgeous, 'm always green with you," he whispers, and you can't help but chuckle at his words.

"You feel so good when you're wrapped around me. So warm 'n' tight," he says as he pulls you against him, his face nuzzling in your neck as he inhales your scent. Warm vanilla combined with a hint of something spicy has his mind going into overdrive.

"I want to have another baby with you, Gorgeous. I want to have another beautiful baby that looks just like you, with your beautiful eyes, nose, and lips. Please, shall we make another baby?" he asks, and you're grateful he's blindfolded; otherwise, he would have seen the bright red color on your cheeks at the confession of his words.

"Yes, Robert, I want that too. I want all of that and more; please fuck a baby into me!" you tell him before you start lifting yourself and sinking back down, finding a rhythm that has you both moaning and groaning.

Robert leans forward as he makes contact with your pulse point, sucking a deep purple bruise there as you keep riding him, your head lulling to the side as he does so.

"God, that's it, Gorgeous, ride this cock like my perfect slut. Can't wait to fuck another baby into you, that's what you want, isn't it? To have every last drop of my cum in this sweet pussy of yours until you're pregnant?" he asks, and you just nod in response, even though he can't see it. You don't trust yourself enough not to let it slip in the heat of the moment that you’re already pregnant.

"I'm gonna cum, Daddy! Please cum with me!" you tell him, and he does precisely that. The second you're both falling over the edge, Robert pulls you close to his body as his hands rub soft circles over your back.

"That's it, Gorgeous. Doin' so well for me," he says as you melt into his embrace. You two stay like this for quite a while, even after he has gone soft inside you. Once the blindfold is finally removed, you're very happy to be looking into your husband's eyes again, a broad smile appearing on your lips as you do.

"I love you so much, Robert. And congratulations again on winning the Oscar; no one deserved it more than you," you tell him, and tears gather in the corners of your eyes.

"I couldn't have done it without you or our baby June," he tells you, and the tears start to roll down his cheeks at the thought of his daughter. She is an exact copy of you, from the hair to the facial features, but she has the character of her Dad, making her the perfect combination of you both.

"Don't cry, Bubba. We will always support you no matter what," you whisper before kissing his nose softly. His eyes flutter shut as the tears keep finding their way onto his cheeks, and you keep wiping them away. You'll always be there to support him, no matter what.

"I love you so much, and I'm forever grateful to have you by my side," he tells you, and you nod.

"I love you too, Robert. But it's about time we get cleaned up and cuddle before sleep. My Mom will be here to drop June off around 9, so we should get some sleep while we still can," you tell him, and he nods.

The clean-up is swift, and before you know it, you're dressed in a pair of panties and one of Robert's shirts, and he's dressed in nothing but basketball shorts. If little June, your 3-year-old daughter, decides to run into your bedroom in the morning, you're both adequately dressed.

That night, you both sleep like logs, and all too soon for your liking, your alarm goes off, but you get out of bed anyway. You have to prepare a little surprise for your husband, so you have told him he can stay in bed, and he happily does as he turns over again.

As soon as your Mom walks through the door with June, she immediately stretches her arms out to be held by you.

"Good morning, Princess! Did you have fun at Grandma and Grandpa's house last night?" you ask after giving her a big kiss on her cheek.

"Yeah! Can I cuddle Daddy now?" she asks, and you shake your head with a smile at her comment. She's a Daddy's girl through and through, but before she can wake him up, you must change her shirt first.

"I want you to help me surprise Daddy, okay? But to do that, we need to put another T-shirt on you that says 'Big Sister' on it! Because that's what you're going to be later this year. You are going to be the best big sister to the baby growing in Mommy's belly!" you tell her, and she looks at you with wide eyes.

"Yay! I'm a big sister!" she exclaims excitedly, making you smile widely. Her enthusiasm is like her Daddy's, and you cannot get enough of it.

"You are, but Daddy doesn't know yet so that you can surprise him," you tell her again. She agrees before allowing you to change her unicorn shirt for a bright pink one with "BIG SISTER" written across it.

"Alright, go surprise Daddy!" you tell her, and she's immediately off to the bedroom, where she knows he will be. You and your Mom are as close behind her as she is.

"Daddy! Daddy! I'm a big sister!" she happily says as she runs into the bedroom. It takes Robert quite a long moment to understand what's going on, but when it finally clicks, he couldn't be happier.

"Do you want to be a big sister?" he asks, and June nods excitedly.

"Yes! I'm a BIG sister now," she says with her arms raised high, and you come to sit on the edge of the bed, where June and Robert are currently cuddling.

"I'm pregnant again, Robert, and if everything goes according to plan, we'll have a beautiful Halloween baby," you tell him, and for the second time in less than 12 hours, tears of joy roll down his cheeks. The last time he felt this happy was when you told him you were pregnant with your oldest daughter, and to have another addition to the family makes him feel extremely proud.

"Did you also know Daddy won a big prize yesterday?" Robert asks her, and she nods.

"Yes, Grandma showed me! Good job, Daddy. You won a big prize, and I am a big sister. Now we're both big!" she rambles, and you cannot stop laughing at it. Her enthusiasm is amazing, and you never want her to grow up. If it were up to you, you would freeze this moment and stay in it forever because this is what pure happiness feels like.

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