#remus lupin lighting era

[fuckmymunson]

🌻 “forfeit, loser, competition” / remus lupin / nsfw

𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐫 — 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐮𝐬 𝐋𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐧

♡ CW: Professor!Remus x Student!Reader relationship, SMUT 18+, oral sex (m), unprotected sex, (kind of) dirty talk. Reader is of age and consents to this relationship! Not proofread! | Word count: 2.9k | Minors DNI! ♡ a/n: 200 flowers request! Thank you <3. Ugh, have I mention how much I love this man?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Quills up, everyone.” Professor Lupin’s voice echoed in the spacious classroom, earning himself a small groan from the group of seventh-years. “Don’t worry, now your exams are my problem.”

Standing up, picking your bag and following your friends you felt a light tap on your shoulder, turning around you lifted your eyes looking at Professor Lupin. “Yes? Professor.” You asked with a gentle smile.

“You dropped this, darling.” Hiding your amusing smile at the pet name, you remained professional when he handed you the golden quill you particularly used for this test. “A very nice quill this is.”

“Thank you, Professor.” The title rolled down your lips in a bewitching manner, making him smile. “It’s my lucky quill, I use it on every test.” Tucking it in the safety of your bag, you felt amused at how dangerously close you were to being caught. 

“Well, I’m sure you will ace this test.” He smiled at you, the signature smile that made every student melt in their spot, you included.

“I learned from the best.” You giggled softly and followed your friends to the next class. 

“What the hell was that?” One of your friends inquired, nudging you with her shoulder. 

“I don’t know what you're talking about.” Playing innocently was one of your favourite activities, it only added more character to your overall smart girl look, always the one with the highest grades and a rising star.

Truth be told, even if you were quite smart, even smarter than the average, you had a little tiny secret, one that could ruin your entire reputation and perhaps get you expelled from Hogwarts: A golden quill capable of writing all the right answers, words and mark the right dots on any test, essay or parchment. It was absolutely prohibited, and even with something so powerful in your lovely hands, you used it less than two times in a full school period. 

Honourably granted by the one and only Weasley twins, who happen to owe you a big one after you lied for them, saving them from being expelled from school, a long story, a very funny too. At first glance, it looked like a simple golden quill, perhaps a little smaller than average sure, but stereotypical girls liked smaller things because they were so cute! Fred and George took an insanely amount of time and effort into conjuring new spells, jinxes and maybe even a curse, if anyone tried to reveal its secrets, the quill will automatically explode and the ink would be so dense and heavy, it was hopeless to even try and wash it, not even with the strongest whitening spell. They encouraged you to try it in your fifth year when you complained for a week straight about how you were definitely going to fail Snape’s test. 

“M’lady… for your grades you shall not cry anymore!” Fred spoke exaggeratedly, you scoffed annoyed while the twins sandwiched you between their arms.

“We have an invention that will shake you from your head to your wand’s core!” George joined his brother, the registered Weasley smile plastered on their freckled faces. 

“Just tell me what the new toy is, I have to study for potions.” Rolling your eyes, you giggled at their antics, having a soft spot for their sense of humour. 

“Toy?” They exclaimed in unison, offended. 

“Whatever.” With another eye roll, they laughed and continued with their presentation, as teasing as these two could be.

“We present to you: The Snap n’ gold!” And right there, in the desk of the empty classroom they dragged you into, a golden quill appeared, smaller than yours, with a hint of platinum sparkles in the golden patterns. “Go on, try it.” Next to the quill, a white parchment appeared as well. “What’s 2316 x 6019?” They continued speaking as one, hinting you how long they planned this.

“How the hell am I supposed to know that?” 

“Let the Snap n’ gold work its wonders, my dear.” Fred’s smile widened.

“And only the right answers shall appear.” George closed the rhyme with his best impression of a Victorian pose.

Since when this was an arithmancy pop quiz?

Either way, you watched amazed at how the quill moved your hand in such a natural way it seemed you were the one writing. “It says 13,940, 004”

“Correct!” The twins exclaimed, cheering you and of course, themselves. 

That's how you crushed your potions test, and even Professor Snape was a bit surprised by your sudden improvement. He wasn’t easy to fool, but you did, and it felt so good. With great power, comes great responsibility, so you promised yourself and your intelligence, to only use the infamous Snap n’ gold in cases of emergency, an emergency being a test you knew you had no chance of even reaching a Poor grade. So, while you tempted your golden luck by accidentally leaving the quill on your desk after a test done by none other than Remus Lupin, the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor; You were so confident by always getting away with it, that this time, you even let yourself tease the possibility of being caught, enjoying the danger.

A few days later, relaxing at the castle grounds, being one of the many carefree students who didn’t have to worry about your grade, a sudden tap on your shoulder made you jolt on the stone bench. Turning around, your eyes met a set of amber eyes that belonged to the only man capable to decipher the lies within your worst subjects. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt your weekend.” Professor Lupin could interrupt you in your sleep and you wouldn’t even be bothered, but this time, the look in his eyes could only mean one thing. “But I’m afraid we need to discuss something in my office.”

You were in deep, deep trouble.

The walk to his classroom and therefore to his private office was the longest and most torturous walk you had ever experienced in your seven years of school. Heart pounding wildly inside your chest, hands sweaty, feeling about to throw up the elves' spaghetti you victoriously devoured that afternoon. Taking a seat in front of his desk, you gulped when you saw a familiar parchment on top of his desk, your test.

“I’ll be straightforward, I don’t want to take more of your time than necessary.” Professor Remus cleared his throat and handed you his kindest smile, which didn’t soothe your nerves at all. “Your test was the highest of your group, perhaps from your whole generation, darling.”

Oh.

“Professor McGonagall is pleased, as you can imagine, she cherishes you quite fondly. She asked me to offer you to compete in a national DADA debate club, of course, with your learning you would be a great factor in the team, you seem to have a vast knowledge of dark creatures.” He did in fact notice how washed out your expression was as if he was speaking another language. “So, what do you say? Feel free to take your time.”

“I—” The words were struggling, a lot. “I—I’m honoured, Professor. Is j—just that… um.I” 

Come on, come on! Think about something, quick!. You screamed at yourself, desperate. 

“I’m not very good at competitions, S—Sir. I would really like to participate, but if I’m being honest, I’m not that skilled in the subject and—.”

“That’s nonsense! Darling.” Lupin tapped your test, still smiling. “You wrote things I am yet to teach you! To me, that means you’re gifted.”

The debate inside your head was between good and bad, you could A): Tell him the truth, beg for forgiveness, accept 100 detentions with Hagrid at the Forbidden forest just to not be expelled, or B): Keep the act, play it cool, accept his offer and fail at trying to help on a topic you had no clue of.

“Is everything alright?” Professor Lupin looked at you, rather worried. “If you need to take your space and time to think about it, is fine. As long as you are truthful and honest with your decision.”

He knew. The bastard knew. And he was playing with you.

“Fuck.” You muttered under your breath, completely and utterly caged, cornered, trapped. 

“What was that?” He asked, lifting an eyebrow, expectant.

“Icheatedonthetest” You muttered as quickly as you could, grinding your teeth in embarrassment. 

“Pardon?”

“I. Cheated. On. The. Test.” Lowering your gaze, you sighed, feeling ashamed of yourself. 

“See, that wasn’t that hard.” Lupin laughed. Something that replaced your embarrassment with confusion. “You were very smart, almost fooled me. But the second you mentioned how you used it on every test, well, let’s say it caught my attention. I noticed it was slightly smaller than average, and the second I touched it, I knew.” How couldn’t he? The man who, unbeknownst to you, made a similar spell just for a map that could trace every single soul in the castle and its surroundings. 

“I’m sorry, if you’re going to accuse me with Professor McGonagall then I deserve it.” The tears appeared fast, making him frown.

“I’m not going to, darling.” From his desk, he handed you some tissues. “I know is against the rules, but it is such a clever and unique spell, you should be recognized for the effort and dedication, even if it was for the wrong reasons.” Biting your lips, you swore not to throw Fred and George under the bus, they already had a list so long that it could fill the entire great hall, and you didn’t want to contribute to that list. “At least not me, personally. You’re going to McGonagall's office, explain to her you cheated on the test, she would instantly disqualify you from the list and, you will be forfeited and banned from every other competition there is in what’s left of your school year, you will not mention the quill, of course, just say something banal, perhaps some notes you stuck on your desk, a common muggle thing. I’m sure she will give detention, and perhaps a few house points will be deducted, but—”

“Is either that or being expelled.” You finished his sentence, earning a nod on his part.

“Clever girl.” He smiled, again, this time it felt genuine. 

Why did he have to look so handsome when he smiled?

It was now or never. It was a foul move, for sure. But perhaps it was your only choice.

“Professor.” You gained all of the courage you had, battering your eyelashes at him. “Is there another way I could make my punishment less… severe?”

As if you weren't dying to try it.

His smirk completely changed into a quizzical look, weighing your words, your voice, and your actions. “What are you suggesting, dear, is there something in your mind?”

Standing up, ignoring the way your legs trembled in nervousness (and anticipation), you stood next to him, shivering at how he turned his chair to face you, manspreading and looking directly into your eyes, an unspoken question lingering in the thick air. Under his penetrative gaze, you kneeled in front of him, resting the palm of your hands on his knees. “Are you sure of this?” He asks, placing a hand on your cheek, thumb caressing the warm skin. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” The confident look in your eyes made him smile once again, but that particular smile— had you throbbing. 

“Go on, then.” 

Your hands reached for his belt, unbuckling it and undoing the buttons and zipper of his trousers, Professor Lupin helped you by lifting his hips from the chair so you could slip them off to his thighs, and you felt excited at the growing bulge in between his legs. You would be lying if you didn’t dream about this often, often than intended. But having the real thing right in front of you, was something else. 

And it sure was something else. He was bigger than you could even imagine, slightly curved and your eyes travelled along the veins of his now hard cock, he enjoyed you staring, even feeling a bit flattered by it. “I thought you wanted to make your punishment less severe, darling.” The pet name rolled down his lips in a way that only fueled your lust. You wanted him and you wanted him now. Tracing that large vein with your tongue, your stomach flipped at the groan that escaped his lips. Wasting no time, you eased him into your mouth, slowly at first, trying and succeeding at making him feel good, taking your sweet time to adjust at his length and girth, and Remus as the gentleman he was, waited until you were sliding inch after inch inside your pretty mouth. 

His hand was pressed over your head, encouraging you to keep going, to take him deeper, but never pushing you all the way in. He fought against the moans that threatened the silence of his office, the door was unlocked but that made the whole thing even better. His hips rolled upwards, eager to feel more of your warm tongue all around him. You hummed in pleasure, feeling your own arousal pooling between your legs, wondering if it would feel as good as he did on your mouth. You were almost this close to deepthroating him, taking it as a personal challenge, when he pushed you away gently by cupping your face. 

“Get on the desk, and spread your legs.” His voice allowed no disobedience, and Godric did it made you a little bit wetter. Following his command in an instant, you thanked the Gods for wearing a skirt that day, it was your favourite one, not long enough to be a prude but not short enough to break any uniform dressing code, and when his large hands slid the fabric, exposing your drowned underwear, you were so happy to be wearing a skirt. “Hmm.” He approved your squirming form, pressing his finger against your clothed mound, making you jolt. “Perhaps we can negotiate your punishment after all.”

Once your damped underwear was hanging loosely over your ankle, Professor Lupin traced a finger across your fold, gathering the slick and spreading it across your cunt, quickly finding your clit and circling it softly, steady, knowing exactly how to make you gasp and twitch. His fingers compared to yours were like comparing… fuck, you couldn’t think about a proper comparison, being too spellbound by the stretching feeling of two fingers scissoring your tight cunt, preparing you for him.

“Can’t believe my golden student cheated on a test.” He whispered in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine, another curl, another moan. “I thought you were so smart, sweetheart, perhaps you’re nothing more than a loser.” Oh, the words, did they make you clench around his fingers. “Hmmm, that’s it, good girl. I’m sure you had this all planned, waiting for the perfect moment to offer me that slutty mouth of yours.”

“P—Please, Professor.” You gasped when a third finger intimidated your entrance, it burned so deliciously. 

“Tell me, bunny.” He cooed, making your head feel dizzy, clouded in pleasure. “What do you want?” Not removing his fingers, he pumped himself a few times, ready to line up with your leaking entrance.

“You, inside m—me, please.” The loss of contact and stimulation made you whine, though the instant you felt the swollen tip of his cock teasing your folds, you spread your legs a little bit more and whined a little bit louder. “Please, l—let me cum over your cock, Remus.”

You were definitely something else as well, and he couldn’t deny how much (despite the guilt and self hatre) he longed for this. The risk of getting caught doing something so prohibited was the experience of a lifetime. Just like it was to be welcomed by the pulsating feeling of your lovely thigh cunt squeezing him beyond imaginable. Remus was in heaven.

“F—Fuck.” He bottomed for a moment, his hands on your hips, carefully sliding in. “So tight, so warm, such a pretty pussy, perfect for a bratty student like you.” The combination of words and movements had you in that state of dizziness,  wrapping your legs around his hips, pushing him until he was balls deep, both of you moaning at the pleasant feeling. “You want me to move? Baby?” He asked, kissing your neck, you nodded earning you a bite on your neck. “Words, darling.”

“Please move R—Remus, I want to feel you using me.” Magic words. Soon you were drooling, eyes rolling at the back of your skull, not even remembering when he rolled up your shirt and bra and started licking and nipping at your adorable tits, making you almost scream in delight. 

With every snap of his hips, you were closer and closer, and then it hit you, like a giant and crashing wave, your body pulsated and clenched around him, almost possessively. Remus groaned at the feeling, so he kept pounding. “Where do you want me? Bunny.” He inquired, hoarsely, biting his lip and kissing your breast, trying to hold himself until you spoke.

After a few tries and a few incoherences being babbled, you managed to look at him and cupped his face with shaky hands, the most life-changing orgasm still possessing your body. “I—Inside me, please.”

“You sure?” And this time you breathed a tired yes and it was the end of him.

Being filled to the brim by your favourite professor was a new feeling you were now addicted to.

Helping you get dressed, sitting you on his lap, kissing your face, complimenting the way you took him so well, like such a good girl. You finally returned to a normal state of mind, legs still sore but with a stupid lovesick smirk, he had never seen in a person. Before leaving his classroom, you felt how his cum rolled down your thigh, making you bite your lip, turning back to see how he was tucking your white underwear into one of his drawers. “Go to Minnie’s office, loser, I’ll be waiting for you here after dinner.” Blowing him a kiss, you giggled.

Maybe being a loser wasn’t that bad

Sorry for any mistakes! English is not my first language. I appreciate any feedback!˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #professor!remus #professor!remus x reader #professor!remus x student!reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin smut #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x reader smut #remus lupin lighting era #remus by omel! #professor!remus x omel! #harry potter smut #marauder x reader smut #marauder smut

[mangomonk]

i thought that i was dreaming when you said you loved me

↳ summary: read this drabble first! goodie two shoes!remus, afraid of being perceived as other, stumbles into a relationship at the expense of y/n. ↳ content: angst, one-sided fake dating ↳ a/n: a little nervous because this is my first time writing for remus pls be gentle w me! for full enjoyment, listen to ivy by frank ocean (i looped it the entire time i wrote this). the more i wrote this, the more i realized i could turn this into a full blown million word fic, but i tried to keep it as condensed as possible, hence some time skips/summarization. pt. 2 here!

When Remus Lupin confesses — no, announces — that he likes her in the middle of the Great Hall, she thinks she's dreaming. Surely, she didn't hear that correctly. Only hours earlier, she had witnessed the doe-eyed boy unleash a slew of curses beneath his breath. I guess everyone has bad days, she had thought. Even Remus, who she had always pegged as straight-laced and well-mannered.

So when a half a dozen heads turn to stare at her directly, Y/N turns to see if there's anyone behind her. When she sees no one, she turns back forward. It's when Remus Lupin's soft, brown gaze meets hers that her heart stutters dangerously in her chest. She can't help it despite the bewilderment she feels — everyone in the castle has to have some sort of crush on the fluffy-haired boy. He's all soft, disarming smiles and beautiful, brown eyes and knitted jumpers and gentle laughter and—

—and Y/N goes red in the face right away. It doesn't help when Remus tilts his head to the side slightly and offers a small, uncertain smile. Merlin, help me, Y/N thinks as she stares back, wide-eyed, her confusion and any thoughts briefly neutralized at the way his eyes crinkle into little half-moons.

— — — — —

Y/N has always prided herself on being a sharp judge of character. It soon became clear to her, however, that Remus Lupin was a strange, but intriguing case of contradicting character.

Following his confession — rather, announcement — in the Great Hall, she becomes overly conscious of the tall boy. It feels as though she's suddenly very aware that they have most of their classes together, that he sits only a seat away from her in Charms, that he has chicken scratch for handwriting when she passes him in the library. The latter comes as a surprise — perhaps unfairly, she would have pegged him as a swooping cursive type of boy. In any case, it soon becomes the case that Y/N realizes that she can find Remus easily in a room of crowded students, and the more she does, the more she begins to realize that Remus is a boy full of surprises.

This doesn't seem to matter though, because strangely, after his confession in the Great Hall, Remus does not once approach her. Occasionally, she catches him glancing at her with an odd expression, but outside of an increase in being stared at by the other students, little changes in her life.

It isn't until a week later when her seat partner in Charms is out that their paths cross again. When she trudges to her seat in class, she becomes very quickly aware that they're separated only by an empty chair. She doesn't look away fast enough because Remus looks up as she pulls her chair out, his gaze snagging on to hers with an intensity that she doesn't expect from the softness of his eyes.

"Good morning," he says slowly, almost uncertainly. Up close, Y/N can see a splay of pale freckles across his cheekbones. His lashes are unfairly, distractingly long as he gazes up at her.

"Hi," Y/N says, equally uncertain, though she tries to keep her voice light and casual. No one's ever really had a crush on her before, and she finds herself floundering on how to act. Shouldn't he be the nervous one, and not her? Somehow though, she can feel her palms begin to sweat, though Remus doesn't look nervous at all. Just sharp and assessing. Fortunately though, before the air between them can turn any awkwarder, a mussed-haired head pops up from around Remus.

"Y/N, right?" James Potter asks with a wide grin. His glasses are skewed and crooked on his face as he peers around Remus at her rather owlishly.

Next to him, Remus blinks a few times as she nods, opening her mouth to speak when Professor Flitwick clears his throat to begin class.

She tries to focus on taking notes, but it's difficult when she can see Remus casting her sidelong glances from her peripheral view. She gives up on trying to focus on class entirely when a folded piece of parchment flits over the gap between them with a familiar chicken scratch.

Can we talk after class?

After class, Y/N has a ridiculous, irrational flash of self-consciousness that the humidity has made her hair begin to frizz. Remus doesn't seem to notice as she rakes a hand quickly through her hair because a nervous, almost agitated, energy is rolling off of him as he paces in the courtyard.

When he catches sight of her, he stops, a warm smile breaking across his face, though Y/N feels that it doesn't quite reach his eyes. But the new knowledge that Remus has a dimple on his left cheek and his smile is just slightly crooked is enough to disarm any wariness. Unexpectedly his nervous energy seems to dissipate immediately. "Hi," he says, "You came."

"I got your note," Y/N says, inwardly grimacing — of course he knew that already, he had been sitting next to her.

"Right, well, I, er—" Remus begins choppily, his hand rising to rub at the nape of his neck. "I was wondering about... Earlier, last week, when you saw me... Did you say anything to anyone?"

Y/N blinks at him once, then twice, blankly. "Earlier?" She questions, before the heat begins to rise to her face. He must have been referring to his confession. "I haven't said anything to anyone."

Remus's brows furrow for a moment before his face relaxes. He's surprisingly difficult to read — it feels as though any trickle of emotion is covered with a disarming soft smile. "I see," he says after a moment, his shoulders relaxing. "Right, well, Y/N," he begins, looking around them distractedly. "—shall we date?" Y/N straightens with a jolt as he continues. "I won't be offended if you say no. In fact, I'd understand if you said no, we've barely—"

She doesn't know what it is exactly. Maybe it was the curious thought that Remus might not be the charming prince he seemed to be. Maybe it was the dimple in his left cheek. Maybe it was the way he said her name. But something in Y/N slipped through her confusion and the unceremonious nature of the whole thing, because she finds herself speaking before she can stop herself. "Yeah. Let's date."

Remus's face goes slack. He looks a little startled, Y/N thinks, like she's clubbed him over the head. "Are you sure?" He blurts, eyes widening a fraction. It's perhaps the most emotion she's seen him show so far. Y/N writes it off as nerves and incredulity.

She nods once, firmly.

"I guess that's settled," he says weakly with furrowed brows, though he looked neither pleased nor displeased.

— — — — —

Initially, Y/N and Remus are as awkward as can be. She's not sure if it's because neither of them have really ever been in a relationship before, but it feels clumsy in the beginning.

Their dates start off mostly as study dates in the library, but Y/N doesn't mind — to her pleasure, she finds that they eerily work well together and she likes the calm peace of Remus's presence while she's studying. She likes to think that he also finds comfort in her presence because it's become ritual for him to ask her about the book she's reading, and vice versa. In a few weeks, they start reading the same books. Maybe it's because they spend so much time together studying that it becomes gradually more comfortable.

When they go to Hogsmeade for the first time together, Y/N finds that they end up walking around the village and chatting nearly until curfew. She tells him about what it's like growing up with three brothers — "It doesn't seem very different from the Marauders," Remus observes with a wry laugh — and he tells her stories of how despite moving around periodically during his child, his mother always found a little corner in the yard to start an herb garden.

He does all the things she'd imagine a boyfriend might — Remus is a gentleman, expectedly. He holds the door open for her, gives her his jumper when there was a draft in the library, walks her back to the Common Room at night.

But, unexpectedly, it isn't Remus's soft smiles or considerate aura that Y/N finds herself straining to see. But it was when he threw his head back and laughed himself breathless at James holding his wand on the wrong end that Y/N found it impossible to tear her eyes away from him. Or when he shot her a dour look the first time she teased him on his illegible chicken scratch. Or when Remus cursed like a sailor when he knocked his ink pot over onto his parchment because he was always so uncoordinated and graceless.

It was perhaps impossible not to fall in love with Remus Lupin. Though maybe she already knew this from the start when he first looked at her, and even more so the first time he said her name.

She liked the way he would groan and complain and grumble as he stretched out his lithe limbs in preparation of helping Peter with his essay that he had procrastinated on, even after she could see the exhaustion begin to pool under his pretty eyes. She liked that he could silence the boys with just one baleful look. She liked the way he fell asleep on his books when he thought no one was looking. She liked his dry remarks and his wolfish grin and his grumpy mood. She liked all the rough edges that Remus showed her when he would forget to put up a soft smile.

It was too easy to love Remus Lupin, though it seemed like he didn't know that himself.

It only takes four full moons for Y/N to understand what the Marauders meant whenever they quietly referred to Remus's furry little problem. In the first place, they weren't always discreet — it was easy for them to forget she was there when she was studying in the background. In the second place, Remus would apologetically cancel their studying plans around the same time each month, and he would disappear for a few days and come back exhausted with fresh scars. It wasn't difficult to put two and two together, really.

But while she understood why he didn't tell her, she couldn't help but give him a tighter hug when she realized.

"Something wrong, love?" He had asked, reaching up to caress the back of her hair as she squeezed his abdomen.

"No," she had mumbled into his shirt, breathing in his familiar scent. She could feel affection swell inside her so violently she felt a little dizzy as she gave him another squeeze. "Just wish I could always be hugging you."

"No one's stopping you," Remus had responded dryly. She smiled into his chest as he rested his chin on the crown of her head. "Certainly not me."

— — — — —

When Y/N tries to discreetly deliver a small care package of chocolate and books a few nights before the next full moon, she accidentally overhears Peter ask James when Remus was ending his fake relationship.

"I doubt it'll raise any suspicions now that no one's pestering him about not having a girlfriend," she hears Peter say.

James makes a noncommittal sort of noise. "You know how Remus is about these things. He's always on edge that someone will think he's the odd one out—"

She feels like the ground beneath her has stuttered and shifted into an open chasm as her mind whirls to make sense of their conversation. For a moment, she thinks she's wrong, but like it was with Remus's furry little problem, if she thinks back on the stranger moments of the past four months, it's not difficult to piece it together. She begins to feel a little ill.

How many times did he force himself to smile at her stories? How many times after walking her back to the Common Room at night did he sigh with relief when she left? How many times did he wait for other students to be around to hold her hand? All the heart-fluttering moments she had thought had been magical and wonderful and incredible with Remus had been entirely one-sided. How humiliating. She feels used and dirty and pathetic, but the worse thing is that she can't feel angry.

She doesn't know how long she stands paralyzed outside, just that it's difficult to breathe or think properly. All she can feel is a numbing ache in her chest, and the feeling tightens when she hears a familiar voice behind her.

"Hmm?" Remus hums, a smile breaking across his face. The dimple in his left cheek appears briefly. "What are you doing here, love?" When she doesn't respond, he steps closer to her and peers at her face carefully, his big, brown eyes soft. "What's wrong?" He asks, gently looping his arms around her waist. Y/N goes perfectly still under his touch. "I knew you'd be studying for the Ancient Runes exam all day, so got some cakes from the kitchen for—"

"Remus," she interrupts suddenly, her throat gone cottony and dry as she raises her gaze to finally look at him. It sends a sharp pang through her chest again. "Are we ever going to kiss?"

Bizarrely, scarlet splotches appear swiftly on the high points of Remus's cheek as his eyes widen a fraction. "Kiss," he repeats, sounding strangled as he stares at her wide-eyed, looking as though she had clubbed him over the head. "You want to kiss?" He asks after a moment, his voice hoarse as his eyes flicker down to her lips.

"Do you want to kiss me?" She asks quietly, watching his throat bob as he swallows thickly.

"I've wanted to since—" Remus says softly, a little nonsensically, his eyes darting back down to her lips. His pupils are blown wide and dark as he swallows, his throat bobbing. “Y/N,” he murmurs, and she can feel his breath brush against her nose. She tries to control the thumping in her chest as he slowly leans in and raises his hand to cup her face. Remus looks down at her with a sweet adoration she knows cannot be real. She's seen this sort of soft look from him countless times before and now she knows better than anyone that it's just another cover. Perhaps it was perfectly clear since the start, but she had let herself get swept away with naive hope. The start of nothing. She feels like a fool.

Remus's head ducks slightly as the space between them closes. Y/N goes perfectly still as she watches his other hand rise, his fingers trembling a little as they reach to curve around her jaw.

For a moment, she entertains the thought and wonders what would happen if she just closes her eyes. She could close her eyes, could lean in and feel his eyelashes brush her cheek, could let him kiss her senseless. It would be so easy. It scares her a little how much she wants that.

Before she can betray herself, Y/N closes her hand around his wrist. “You can stop now,” she says, her voice low and steadier than she felt.

Remus freezes, his dazed expression crumpling in confusion. She takes a steadying breath, swallowing back the bile in her throat as she schools her expression with difficulty. Y/N places his wrist back down away from her face and lets go as she continues, despite the dull ache in her chest. “I wanted to know how far you would go,” she continues quietly. “How far you thought I would be willing to go.”

“I don’t understand—” Remus begins, a myriad of stricken dismay, alarm, and something else flickering across his face. For a moment, she thinks it’s the residue of desire, but she quickly remembers how good of an actor Remus is, and doesn’t let herself entertain that thought that it’s anything else besides panic for being caught.

"I know you're just using me," Y/N says, her throat dry. Her voice, to her mortification, cracks and comes out as a croak. Any sense of anger deflates immediately and all she can feel is this crumbling sense of defeat. “I should have known that something was strange when you suddenly confessed. We had never even really talked before that. I mean, I thought that I was dreaming when you said you liked me—"

“No, it's because—”

"I know why you did it," she whispers. Remus freezes, the color draining from his face. "The worse part of all this is that I can't find it in myself to hate you for using me. But I had just thought that you didn’t think so little of me as to…” She doesn’t finish as she stares down at the space between them, swallowing thickly. She feels ill. The last sentence had come out before she realized it. So that was what it was — disappointment.

"Did you even know my name before James said it?" She asks with a bark of a forced laugh as she straightens, setting her shoulders now though she still has a difficult time looking directly at him.

Remus swallows thickly as he steps forward. His pause is enough of an answer. "Let me explain,” he begins quickly, his words tumbling out in a frantic mess. “Y/N, wait,” he starts, reaching out.

“Don’t touch me, Lupin,” she says dejectedly, stepping away from him. Remus flinches and freezes, his expression falling, but she can't bring herself to look at him in the eye anymore. Y/N stares at the worn patch of carpet by her shoe as she swallows thickly before turning to leave. "You can tell everyone that you broke up with me if it helps you."

— — — — —

a/n: thx for reading! pt. 2 here my masterlist here

#pt two from remus pov?? #hp #hp marauders #harry potter fanfiction #hp imagine #harry potter imagine #the marauders #marauders era #hp drabble #harry potter drabble #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #regulus black #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin drabble #light angst #remus lupin fanfiction #hp fanfic

[moonstainn]

"You’re as beautiful as the day I lost you"

#fanart #digital art #art #marauders #hp marauders #marauders era #remus lupin #wolfstar fanart #wolfstar #sirius black #harry potter #hp fanart #hp #remus x sirius #sirius #sirius orion black #remus loves sirius #remus lupin fanart #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #I’ll post the ver without the lighting and leaves too 👍 #anyway wow I love them so much #old men yaoi #“why is the big white? #NOTHING FIT IM SORRY I SWEAR I TRIED

[seven-ruins-it]

sirius, 70s teen and rockhead, got up three hours before the others every morning to style his hair before going back to bed and laying very still on the pillow all so he could pretend it was all natural

#nobody bought it #he went from light waves to french bourgeois sheeps curls #but they all silently agreed to go along with it #the marauders #marauders #dead gay wizards #marauders era #remus lupin #marauders fanfiction #wolfstar #sirius black #marauders fanfic #marauders fic #the marauders era #marauders fandom #dead gay wizards from the 70s #marauders hc #sirius being sirius #sirius hc

[lunarlivs]

<3

#just me playing with lights #made this #marauders #marauders era #fanart #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #my art

[vynaura]

celestial beings

#wolfstar #vyn does art #I’m soooo normal about space related things #lighting study <3 #oh i love them #marauders #remus lupin #sirius black #marauders fanart #marauders era #remus x sirius #sirius black fanart #harry potter fanart #harry potter #moony x padfoot #wolfstar fanart

[wolfstargazer]

Lights - a wolfstargazer microfic - word count: 327

Sirius feared what would happen when the lights went out.

But fear was not something he allowed himself to feel. He'd cut it out a long time ago to survive in Azakaban. He had been so successful that even now, eighteen months on, he struggled to give himself permission to let it all go.

Sirius had done what it had taken to survive.

And now he would do the same to protect Harry.

But Harry was perceptive, curious, too much like James, and Sirius often caught him casting worried looks in his direction.

But that was the wrong way round. Sirius felt ashamed. He did not invite the sympathies of others. He loathed being a source of concern.

And Sirius needed to be strong for Harry. Be the friend...the brother...the father he needed. He owed that much to Lily and to James. It was a love, fierce and protective, that had surprised him...

It was love that made Sirius fear the lights going out.

Sirius managed to hide it. From everyone but him. He had been standing, looking out the window at Grimmauld Place, at street lights and headlights and soft lights from Muggle houses. Sirius hadn't heard him enter, but he knew that Remus was there.

Remus approached and stood behind him. He hesitated, judging the moment, thoughtful and unsure. Finally, he decided, reached out, and wrapped his arms around Sirius, pulling him backwards and towards him. Sirius felt his back hit Remus' chest; felt the warmth and reassurance of Remus holding him so close.

Sirius sighed. Remus said nothing and waited. Finally, Sirius whispered, "I'm afraid."

Remus made a soft, low noise against him. Sirius stared at the lights. Remus held him tighter, heart pounding. Sirius closed his eyes, grounding himself, allowing the fear to pass through him and into Remus. He was safe here, in Remus' arms, anchored in the moment by the two words Remus whispered that Sirius most needed to hear:

"I'm here."

Prompt by @puuvillaa

#wolfstar #mauraders #remus x sirius #remus lupin #the marauders #marauders era #sirius black #dead gay wizards #wolfstar microfic #microfiction #wolfstargazer microfiction #wolfstargazer microfic #clare mansfield microfic #lights

[arts-and-sharks]

Remus Lupin <3

#remus lupin #harry potter #Lupin #marauders #marauders era #light angst #art #digital art #harry potter art

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Let me take care of you

TW: self-harm. Nothing too graphic, but it's there. (A short description of the wounds, that's about it?) So, if you get easily triggered please read carefully.

Word count: 1 800

He opened the door to their dorm, seeing Sirius laying in his bed, he wasn't supposed to be back yet, so it took Remus by surprise. “I thought you had quidditch?” He asked, setting his bag down on the floor, and taking off the cloak.

“Do.”

“And you're here because -?” He asked, but this time didn't get an answer. Something was wrong, though he wasn't sure what it was yet, but he could tell. Remus walked over to the bed, seeing the tear tracks on Sirius' cheeks, they were quite visible even in the dim lighting. He wasn't crying anymore though, he looked like he was sleeping. He sat down on the floor, leaning his head against the bedside table, smiling slightly as Sirius opened his eyes. “What's wrong?”

“N-nothing.”

“Sirius, love, I can tell something is wrong.” he said, reaching to brush a strand of hair behind his ear. “Wanna tell me?”

“Don't feel good.”

“Do you feel ill or-?” Sirius shook his head, eyes tired as he looked at Remus. “Okay. Did something happen?”

“No.”

“That's good, baby.” He smiled softly, trying to figure out what exactly was wrong, maybe it was just a bad day. There was this pained expression on Sirius face, though Remus couldn't quite place what it was or what could be hurting him. “Not feeling up for quidditch?”

Sirius shook his head. “Jamey thinks I'm sick.”

“Okay.” He chuckled, watching as a faint smile flashed on Sirius' face, though it faded quickly. “Talk to me, love?”

Sirius took in a shaky breath, closing his eyes for a moment as if to prevent tears from falling. Then, with the arm that had been folded under his head, he reached for Remus'. He smiled, intertwining their fingers together, rubbing small circles into his wrist with his thumb, waiting for Sirius to speak.

“I'm sorry.”

“Why are you saying sorry, angel?”

“Did somethin’.”

Remus felt his heart sink at the all too familiar situation, dread and worry, but he stayed calm, knowing it would make Sirius mire anxious if he'd panic, and he didn't want that. So, he just reached to wipe away the tear that fell down, being as gentle as he possibly could. “Show me, baby.” Sirius shook his head, more tears spilling out. “Please? M'not mad, never mad. I just wanna make sure you're alright.” he whispered, wiping away more of the tears, shifting so he was sitting on his knees.

“I'm so sorry.”

“Shh, shh, it's okay.” he brushed a strand of hair behind his ear. “Let's get up? Just wanna make sure they're all clean, don't want them to get infected, do we?” Sirius shook his head. “Then we'll have some cuddles, sound good?”

“Chocolate?”

“All the chocolate you want.” Remus smiled, kissing his forehead, getting the smallest of smiles out of the boy. “I should even have a few chocolate frogs left, remember the ones Pete bought for Christmas?”

“Still?”

“I'm not as greedy as you think, baby.” he chuckled, kissing his nose and cheek before getting up from the floor. “Plus, I got a ton of chocolate for Christmas. I got other sweets too, c'mon up love.” he said, taking both of Sirius' hands into his and leading him into the bathroom. “Hop up, darling.”

Sirius did as he was told, hopping up to sit down on the counter, watching as Remus pulled out the muggle med kit he insisted on using, though Sirius didn't mind. He also got out some cotton pads, and a clean towel, kissing Sirius' forehead when he came to stand in front of the boy.

“You have to show me now, okay?” Sirius nodded, looking down, starting to fiddle with his sleeves. “Take your time, baby.” He whispered, brushing his hair back, as he looked at Sirius, who shook his head after a moment. “I can too, if you want me to.”

“Please.” Sirius whispered, looking up at Remus, eyes filling with tears again, threatening to spill over.

“Okay. Don't worry.” he gently rolled up the sleeves of Sirius' jumper, going slowly so Sirius' could stop him if it felt too overwhelming. He winced slightly at the sight, he couldn't make out everything, but small, somewhat deep looking cuts were on both arms, blood slowly dripping down. “We're gonna have to put some bandages on these love, shh, shh, don't cry it's alright. I'm gonna clean them with these first, then with some water, and we'll put bandages on to keep them clean.”

“You have to tell me if it hurts too much.” Sirius nodded, tears falling as he closed his eyes, feeling how Remus started to dab the cotton pads on the deepest looking ones, wiping away blood. Sirius just kept still, keeping his arms where Remus left them, resting on his thighs. He heard the water running after a moment, and he opened his eyes, glancing at Remus, who just wiped away the tears before squeezing the excess water out of the towel.

“You know this is gonna sting a bit, I'm sorry about that, baby.” He whispered softly, waiting for Sirius to nod before starting to clean his arms better, apologizing every time he heard a hurt whimper come from Sirius, going lighter on the next one. “All done with that, love. You did so good. Proud of you.”

“Kiss?”

“You can definitely have a kiss.” He smiled, leaning down to give him a chaste kiss, getting another small smile from him as he leaned back up. “Just one more thing and you'll get another kiss, okay? Maybe even a hug.” Sirius nodded, looking up at Remus through his wet eyelashes, looking tired and still sad, though not as much as before. He gently wrapped his hands up with the bandages. “Not too tight?” He asked, lacing their fingers together when he was done.

Sirius shook his head, looking up at Remus. “Sorry you have to do this.”

“Shh, no, don't be sorry.” He whispered. “All good. I don't have to do anything, you're not making me, are you?” Sirius shook his head. “I want to, baby. Wanna take care of you, if you just let me.” he smiled, helping Sirius down from the counter, who just wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, face pressing into his chest. He did the same, arms wrapping around his waist as he buried his face into Sirius' hair, swaying them just slightly. “Feeling at all better?” he asked after a moment, hand running up and down his back slowly.

“Only ‘cause of you.” He mumbled. Remus smiled to himself, kissing his head. “Don't go.”

“Wasn't planning on that.” he whispered, smiling softly once Sirius looked up at him. “I’m proud of you. So proud.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you.” He leaned down to give him a kiss. “Wanna go to bed?” He nodded, but leaned against Remus rather than moving. “I'm not gonna carry you, love. It's barely fifteen steps, you can make it.”

“Mm no.” He whispered, shaking his head. “Wanted to take care of me.” He grinned, and Remus was just glad there was at least some of his normal cheekiness back. “Please moons.”

“Only this time, baby.” He whispered, kissing his forehead before lifting him up, Sirius' legs wrapping around his waist, clinging on like a koala. He smiled as he was set down onto the bed. “Wanna change into something more comfy?”

“Want your jumper.”

“Okay.” he nodded, going to dig out two of his jumpers, since he definitely wanted to change out of his school uniform. He also dug out the stash of chocolate he kept in there, handing Sirius the jumper before going to the bathroom to clean up the mess he had left before. He changed his jumper while walking back over to Sirius, climbing in bed next to him. Sirius rested his head on Remus' shoulder, shifting so he could curl up to him, feet over his lap, which was nearly impossible to do comfortably in the small bed, but he didn't mind.

“You promised chocolate.”

“I did.” he reached for his bedside table, grabbing the two boxes of chocolate frogs, giving them both to Sirius. “I'm eating the other one, by the way. Which cards are you still missing?”

“Rowena Ravenclaw at least, then I have all the founders.” he said, opening the package, and giving the frog the Remus. “Then some rarer ones I think, I've had such bad luck, never got Ollivander. No luck.” He said as he looked at the card he just got.

“Maybe next time, baby.” He nodded, opening the other one, this time taking the frog for himself, flipping over the card.

“I have like three of her, what the hell.” Remus laughed quietly. “It's unfair Moony. I will slip it into James' deck, he has like ten.”

“And how many of them are actually his?”

“Maybe two.” Sirius smiled, and he laughed again. “ ‘s only fair, he keeps giving me Dumbledore. But I, unlike Jamey, keep track of my cards.”

“Sure you do love.”

“I do.” He said. “Well, at least I notice if cards suddenly appear.”

Remus smiled, grabbing the trash from his lap to set them down on the bedside table. “Do you want more?”

“A bit?” Remus nodded as he grabbed the chocolate bar, opening it and breaking pieces off, few for himself and few for Sirius, then set it back on his bedside table. “Thank you.” he yawned, leaning even closer to Remus.

“Are you tired?” Sirius hummed. “Should we take a little nap? We have time before dinner.”

“Mhm. Don' wanna go.” he mumbled. “So tired.”

“What if we sleep and see what we'll do after? It's not until a few hours, love.” Sirius nodded. “C'mon, let's lay down, you'll be more comfy.”

Remus shifted so he was laying down, smiling as Sirius laid down too, resting his head on Remus' chest, half laying on top of him just because he could. Remus pulled the blanket over them, holding Sirius close.

“Do you wanna talk?” He asked, starting to play with Sirius' hair, Sirius shrugged, hiding more into Remus' chest, starting to draw shapes to his chest to keep his hands busy. “We don't have to, love. But you know it helps.”

“I'm just tired.” He mumbled. “Really overwhelmed. Just a bad day, I guess.”

“Okay.” He whispered, kissing his head. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Just wanna be with you and sleep.” Remus nodded. “Snuggles.”

He chuckled, holding Sirius a little closer, smiling as Sirius reached for his hand, so he intertwined their fingers together. “I'll wake you up in a few hours, okay?”

“Mhm.”

“I love you.” He whispered into Sirius' hair. “Sleep well.”

“Love you too.”

A/N:

Hi :)

Hopefully you liked this, and remember to take care of yourself <3

Also, both James and Sirius would have the biggest chocolate frog card collection, and would mess with each other constantly. (Remus gives all his cards to Sirius, cause why wouldn't he?)

You can't convince me otherwise on this, like no way that didn't happen

Have a good day/night/something, see you around somewhere, maybe?

<3

#sirius black #remus lupin #sirius orion black #remus john lupin #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #wolfstar #marauders #marauders era #fluff #young remus lupin #young sirius black #self h@rm #wolfstar angst #fluff and angst #light angst #hurt/comfort #fluffy

[academicstraykittie]

#academia #beach #french coast #dark academia #chaotic academia #light academia #comfy #vibes #coast academia #coast #vacation #marauders #marauders era #remus lupin

[stauroraa]

⊹ ₊˚‧ ☆ ‧˚₊ ⊹

#aurie’s posts ‧˚₊ ⊹ #dark academia #light academia #academia #autumn #autumn moodboard #downtown girl #fall aesthetic #autumn aesthetic #dark academia aesthetic #remus lupin aesthetic #moony #remus lupin #the marauders #marauders era #marauders aesthetic #books and coffee #literature #harry potter #hp marauders #harry potter aesthetic #dead poets society #the secret history #brown academia #brown aesthetic #cozy aesthetic

[mangomonk]

edit: here's the full fic based off this drabble! pt. 1 and pt. 2

an idea about goodie two shoes!remus that's been bouncing around in my head

remus is straight laced — he follows the rules to the t, tries his best in his studies, is polite and diplomatic to the teachers and the other students — all because he feels he can't afford to stray from being a good citizen. he's exhausted but he's afraid that if he does something wrong, the other students will look at him and if they look at him for too long, they'll know. he's dry and sarcastic and himself around the marauders, but outside of them, everyone only ever has glowing words for remus. polite. helpful. charming. remus prides himself on his princely behavior.

the only thing is that recently, he's begun to hear murmurs. "why doesn't remus lupin have a girlfriend?" he overhears one hufflepuff fourth year ask her group of friends. He knows they're really only whisperings, but remus, afraid of being seen as other, can't help but fixate on them, especially when he hears similar sentiment. "he receives plenty of confessions, but he only ever gives a vague rejection."

before he can even help it, remus is stuck into a spiral of anxiety. though he knows it's foolish, he can't help it. he's sure that everyone will connect the dots. first it'll start with the question of why he's never accepted a confession after all these years, and then soon, someone will guess that there's something wrong with him. and then everyone will see right through him.

after a particularly rough full moon, coupled by his growing anxieties, he accidentally snaps on a random girl. he doesn't even really remember her name or what he said or what even led him to snap at her, but once he does, he feels a strange mix of guilt and pure relief, as if the burden of holding up this princely facade has been lifted off his shoulders. and then he feels horror. she's staring back at him in pure surprise and all remus can think is, she's going to tell everyone what i'm really like. paralyzed in fear, all remus can do is mumble a half-assed apology before turning on heel and high tailing it out of the library.

"if you're so worried about this, why not just get a temporary girlfriend?" james suggests later at dinner, mistakenly taking remus's silence as anxiety about the girlfriend rumors, and not how he had blown up on some girl — remus didn't tell them, he was still panicking trying to figure out a plan for damage control. he couldn't help but keep watching her across the great hall, on edge every time she said something to a friend. if only he could keep watch.

"it's not that easy, prongs," remus says, forcing his voice to be even. if i get a girlfriend, she'll find out easily after i disappear each month. not to mention remus in general not wanting to subject someone to his lycanthropy.

"seems easy enough," sirius says, nodding past his shoulder. "you have another confession lined up."

"er, remus," a ravenclaw girl says from behind him. he recognizes her from his potions class, but all he can feel is a sense of dread as he notices a few other students turn around in growing interest. "i've fancied you for quite awhile now, and i was wondering..."

remus has a hard time listening to her as his nerves grow. if he rejects her in front of all these people, are the rumors going to spread? out of the corner of his eye, reflexively, he spots the girl he had blown up on earlier leaning to whisper something to her friend. "i'm sorry," remus says, forcing on an apologetic smile. before he can question himself, his nerves gets the better of him. "i actually have someone i like right now."

"oh," the ravenclaw girl squeaks, disappointed. "sorry, i didn't know—"

"that's okay, i haven't made it very clear," remus cuts in hurriedly, his gaze fixating past her. the ravenclaw doesn't even have a chance to ask — she likely wouldn't have asked anyways, but remus points to the girl from earlier. "—that i like her."

ANYWAYS can you imagine the hurt that would ensue if they eventually start dating (fake on his end, real on hers... he picks her because 1) he never expects her to agree to date him after that incident, 2) he can keep an eye on her or blame his behavior on having a crush) and eventually he grows comfortable to not have to put up this goodie two shoes facade but she finds out it was just to cover his ass yeah... im hurting

EDIT: full fic below pt. 1: i thought that i was dreaming when you said you loved me pt. 2: i've been dreaming

#hp #hp marauders #harry potter fanfiction #hp imagine #harry potter imagine #the marauders #marauders era #drabble #hp drabble #harry potter drabble #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #regulus black #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin drabble #light angst

[accio-sriracha]

Clashing Teeth- Wolfstar

~~~♤~~~

Remus and Sirius have been fighting, a lot.

It started when Remus had called Sirius a slut after he had snogged Emmaline Vance at a party. Sirius openly and proudly admits to being one but he didn't think Remus needed to say it like it was such a terrible word.

So Sirius, ever the petty revenge queen that he was, decided to fight back. And they have been, nonstop, for two weeks.

Eventually the others had had enough, they couldn't watch this go on any longer. James forced them both into the common room, surrounded by all of their friends,

"The two of you have been at each other's throats for two weeks now, what the hell is going on?" He demanded.

Sirius snorted, "Well, Prongs. I think Moons and I have been 'at each other's throats' because he's too afraid to admit something."

Remus glared at him, "And what might that be, Pads?" He scowled.

Sirius sighed, "Well there's multiple things." He gave Remus a meaningful look, "But the one I'm referring to now would be that you're secretly jealous of all the girls I'm pulling."

"I am not."

"That isn't what I gathered from you last night when we got into that fight about-"

Remus jumped up from the couch, pulling out his wand, "I will hex you right now!" He threatened,

Peter stepped between them, holding out his hands, "Woah! Guys, come on! What is this? You two have never acted like this before!"

"You want to tell them what's changed, Pads?" Remus called, still furious, "Cause I think everyone in here would like to know what's got you acting like an arsehole."

"Oh, I'm the arsehole here? I'm not the one who's jealous! If it's really that big of a deal, why don't you go out there and snog someone yourself?" Sirius shouted back. Remus' glare was cold enough to kill a man,

"Is that really what you think the solution is here? I should just go snog a bunch of people?"

"Well it's not like you're fucking dating anyone is it?" Sirius' voice suddenly broke. He turned to James, "I'm done with this conversation." He stood and stormed out of the room.

Everyone was silent, Dorcas cleared her throat after a few minutes had past, "Rem, I'm gonna be honest, I don't think any of us understood any of that." She told him. Remus groaned and sunk back down onto the couch, his head in his hands.

"Look, Remus, whatever is going on between you two can be worked out, but I don't think you're really listening to each other." Lily sat down beside him, her voice kind, "Maybe just try to hear what he's telling you."

"I know what he's telling me. That's the problem." He muttered, rubbing at his temples, "It's him who's not listening every time I tell him that I just don't think it's possible to work things out his way."

"What even started this?" Alice asked. Peter gave a nervous laugh,

"He, uh... He called Sirius a slut." He explained. Alice stared blanky,

"I thought Sirius calls himself that too?"

Peter nodded, "He does, but... well-"

"But I meant it." Remus spat, the muscles in his jaw tight, "I said it to hurt him."

"Oh." Alice looked down, stepping back next to Frank again.

"Why don't you go talk to him, Moons, maybe you can figure out a compromise." James offered. Remus laughed,

"This is the compromise." He shook his head, "He gets to do his fucking random people thing and..." He looked away, "Well, we're both compromising, okay? Neither of us is willing to give in."

"What are your options?" Dorcas asked, "Maybe we can help you both decide?"

Remus shook his head again, "No, this is between Sirius and I." He stood, turning to the stairs, "I'm going to bed, I'll see you all in the morning."

He closed the curtains around his four poster, not wanting James or Peter to bug him like they inevitably will. He understood they all don't like seeing him and Sirius fight, but this just wasn't something they could help with.

Remus thought back to the look on Sirius' face, the hurt in his eyes when he'd brought up the dating thing.

The issue they'd been having was they were secretly sleeping together... a lot. They had sex even more than they fought. It was amazing, probably one of the greatest things Remus had ever experienced, even better than chocolate after the full moon.

But Sirius wanted more than that, he wanted a relationship, a fully exclusive, everyone knowing about them, holding hands in the corridor kind of relationship. And Remus didn't think he was ready for that.

Sirius was understanding, of course, he'd never want to out Remus to their friends if Remus wasn't comfortable. But Remus kept denying he was gay at all, just that Sirius happened to be really good at sex.

After that, Sirius made the decision that if they weren't exclusive, he'd start seeing other people too. Remus was pretty sure he was just hurt that Remus didn't want to be with him, but he didn't say that. They continued this way for the last two weeks, taking out their frustrations on each other through loud arguments and lots of sex.

Neither of them were willing to let up, but neither of them wanted the sex to stop either, so they just kept fighting. Sirius refused to stop sleeping with other people if Remus didn't want to be with him, even just in secret, and Remus refused to be in a relationship because he wasn't gay.

The night of the party he'd snapped in front of everyone, calling Sirius a slut. He'd been angry, furious at the thought other people's lips on him, other people holding him the way that Remus was meant to hold him.

The door swung open, slamming into the wall. He knew immediately who it was, it was the same way Sirius had been walking into the room for the last two weeks, full of pent up rage and hunger.

"Remus." His voice was low, dangerous.

Remus opened the curtains and got out of bed, standing in front of him and drawing himself to his full height. He looked down at Sirius, his eyes searching his face.

He knew what he would usually find there, an expression that mimicked his own swirling emotions. But Sirius wasn't like that this time, his anger was gone, he looked up at Remus with eyes filled with so much hurt,

"Why don't you want me?" He asked quietly.

Remus faltered, he'd forgotten during this short time they'd spent like this that Sirius was still his best friend, before their relationship turned so physical, Sirius was Sirius. He felt his heart soften immediately,

"Pads-" He whispered, pulling him into a hug. Sirius sniffed, burying his face into Remus' shoulder,

"I know you aren't looking for a relationship and- and I've been trying to accept that... But it feels like everytime we do this I'm losing you. Like it's not us anymore."

Remus sighed and pulled back just enough to get him to look up, "I love you." He whispered, "You're my best friend and you always will be. I'm sorry I've been so cold recently."

"I'm sorry too." Sirius shook his head, "I knew how angry it made you to see me with them, I should have never tired to hurt you that way."

Remus swallowed. He glanced down at the floor, "Sirius-" He whispered, his voice breaking, "I was angry because I don't want you to be with any of those people. I-" He took a deep breath, "I want you to be with me. Just me. I want to be your... your boyfriend."

Sirius' eyes widened, a flicker of hope Remus hadn't seen for two weeks reigniting, "What?"

"I think I'm in love with you. I'm sorry I've been too scared to say it, I didn't know what I wanted and it terrified me. But I know that I love you, and that I always have. And I want to spend every minute of my day loving you."

"Really?" He whispered. Remus nodded,

"Really."

Sirius leaned up and kissed him, and for the first time it wasn't gripping shirts and clashing teeth, it was soft, careful and full of love. Remus melted into it, he didn't want to hate himself for wanting this anymore. Sirius Black loved him, and that was the best thing he could ever ask for.

"So... you really want this?" He gestured between them, "You want to be my boyfriend?"

Remus nodded, "I do." He smiled and kissed him again, "I want to kiss you like this and not care who sees us."

Sirius beamed up at him, "I thought you didn't want other people to know?"

Remus lifted a shoulder, "I was scared, but I don't want to hide the part of me that loves you anymore."

Sirius intertwined their fingers, "So... we can tell the others sometime?" He asked. Remus nodded towards the door,

"We can tell them now, if you want." He saw the look on Sirius' face and knew he was dying to share the news with them.

Sirius immediatley tugged his hand, pulling him down the stairs and into the common room.

"Oh, thank Merlin you're both okay. I thought Pads went up there to kill you." James sighed, wiping a hand over his forehead.

"So you guys really are okay now?" Peter asked, glancing between them skeptically as though he was waiting for them to break into a fight any second now. Sirius nodded, his smile bright enough to light up the room,

"Better then okay."

Marlene shot a glance down at their hands, then at Remus' own shy smile. She gasped dramatically, "No way!" She shouted, "And you never even told us?!"

Remus cleared his throat, "Well, it's a little complicated." He laughed.

Peter raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about?"

"The fighting, the slamming doors, the glaring, it all makes so much sense now!" She rambled on. Dorcas placed a hand on her arm,

"Marls, in english please?" She laughed.

"They've been secretly having sex! I knew it was sexual tension I was sensing between you two!"

The rest of the group gasped and turned back to them, most eyeing their hands with new eyes,

"Is that true?" James asked. Sirius smiled brightly again,

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Remus John Lupin..." He glanced at him, his eyes filled with awe, "My boyfriend."

Gasps and cheers erupted from their friends. Lily immediatley stood up to throw her arms around them both,

"I'm so happy for you!" She laughed, hugging them tightly. Frank held up his hands,

"Wait, wait, wait. Remus is gay?" He asked incredolously.

Sirius nervously looked at him again. Remus took in a deep breath and nodded,

"Yeah." He tried to sound confident, "I am."

The group congratulated them, James immediatley gushing to Lily about all the double date possibilities.

Marlene and Dorcas hugged them, letting them know they were proud to have them in the club.

The rest of the night was spent just like old times, talking and laughing until it was really late and everyone was yawning.

The only difference now was Remus was allowed to touch Sirius and not feel guilty for it, he ran his fingers through his hair, kissing his cheek every once in a while.

They went to sleep in Remus' bed that night, not needing to keep it a secret or worry about being caught.

Remus had never been happier.

~~~♤~~~

#harry potter #marauders #marauders era #wolfstar #remus lupin #remus x sirius #sirius black #wolfstar headcanon #jealous remus #sirius black is a drama queen #light angst #Internal homophobia #remus is bad at feelings #they're so silly

[hanzier]

what’s the deal with everyone characterizing sirius as someone oblivious to his own feelings especially in the context of wolfstar. people have turned remus into some kind of gay guru who’s way smarter than sirius in matters of the heart (and everything else 🧐) and also someone who experiments with plenty of guys before sirius even knows what the word gay means. what?? sirius is smart! he is self aware! he knows who he is and even if he didn’t it shouldn’t be shown as a negative thing. bc it almost always ends with him being made fun of by his friends for not knowing he was queer. it’s just so frustrating to see ESPECIALLY bc we know remus is the one who canonically flees when things get difficult and hides major parts of who he is from those around him. you cannot convince me he was galavanting around hogwarts as some sort of casanova in the 1970s.

#katie babbles #hp #marauders era #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #even if you don’t know you’re queer until later in life that is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of but everyone stays laughing at sirius #when he’s depicted in that (blatantly out of character) light

[matiisnottrash]

"I want to be close to you

But I don't know what to do

'Cause if we are near to through

It may make it worse. . ."

Full moon tonight so im feeling kinda weird emotionally.

All the Young Dudes 3 (Remus pov) Cp:173

at first i did it bc of a song i heard (nothing new) but as i started doing Sirius profile i noticed that he is not showing much emotion (in fic he atleast gives a weak smile) and i wondered why i douldnt make him the other way. Thats when i realized that i couldn't make him have a emotion cause i didnt know what was happening in his mind at that moment, bc i never read Sirius pov of ATYD.

Now im gonna use this as some kinda study, wondering if Sirius side would've been different if only i have read his side of the story.

Cause if you think it through, in Remus mind all that he is thinking about is that Sirius fell out of love with him and vaguely thought of a spy in the order, and then later when Sirius is back from askaban and they "talk" we found out that Sirius just thought that Remus was the spy but stoll kept loving him. I keep thinking abbojt this since i read ATYD the first time back in lockdown

#remus lupin #marauders era #marauders #sirius black #wolfstar #remus x sirius #moony fanart #atyd fandom #padfoot fanart #light angst #im sorry #im crying #remus fanart #sirius fanart #sirius loves remus #remus loves sirius #why do i do this to myself #Spotify

[themortalityofundyingstars]

dying on the hill we met on | 1.9k words

jegulus oneshot | mostly canon compliant (but regulus is alive) | tbh there's no jegulus til the end but it's worth the wait i swear | james being in his subconscious the whole time | nobody dies i promise it's a play on words

June 26, 1979

James had always liked summer. It was his favorite season for many reasons. The sun was always shining, the breeze just cool enough to balance out the warm temperatures. It's a shame he wasn't born in the summer.

It only makes sense he would want his wedding in summer. A beautiful venue filled with green grass and happy faces, his best friends beside him with massive smiles on their faces.

Sirius looks at James proudly, Remus next to him looking almost as elated as Sirius. Peter leans forward to look at James, his face happy but his eyes dim. At the end of the line, Frank is smiling at him fondly, with an older brother aura.

James looks around at all the people, finding his mother's face in the front row next to his father's, both looking at him as if they're remembering when they had gotten married.

James is happy. Who wouldn't be in this situation? He's marrying one of his best friends with the others by his side. His lovely parents are front row, about to watch a moment in time that will always be remembered as a joyous day.

So why does he feel conflicted? As if there's unfinished business haunting his every decision, waiting for him to make the wrong choice, standing in the shadows to watch him fail. Watching him always.

He makes sure there's still a smile on his face when the music changes. What could he have done differently? What if James had gone with him? Made sure everything was okay? Made sure he came back?

These thoughts torment the part of James' mind that ensures he always appears happy. He keeps his smile, unwavering with the growing tide of second thoughts.

Second thoughts that couldn't be acted upon, even if he wanted to. His mind takes him back to the moment Sirius told him they found a body in the lake. The moment they identified it. It didn't quite look like him, though. They told him that the body was waterlogged, so he wouldn't have looked the same anyway. It wasn't there though. The one specific freckle James had obsessed over whenever he looked at his face. It wasn't there.

The music had slowed, and the curtain of flowers at the end of the aisle had been pulled aside, letting the girl who had once been the one James had wanted most be seen.

She's walking slowly, clutching onto Mary's dad as her escort. Her eyes flick to Marlene, Alice, Emmeline, and Mary, her maid of honor. Then to James. His smile is still on his face, only faltering when he glances over to Marlene. A mistake.

She raises her eyebrow, wondering what could possibly be on his mind other than Lily. She looks at Sirius with a questioning look and he shrugs back before nudging Remus and whispering to him.

"What's up with James?", he asks Remus, who's slightly crouched over, "Marlene's asking."

"Dunno, maybe he has to piss", Remus replies before standing up straighter.

"Are you serious right now?", Sirius retorts quietly.

"No, but I have reason to believe you are though", Remus jokes.

"Not the time, but good one."

"Thanks, I know."

James, who is more and more uncertain with each step Lily takes toward him, risks a glance at Sirius, who was already concerned by Marlene's worries, and is met with an apprehensive look from him.

Sirius raises his eyebrow and tilts his head, a bit like a dog. James' smile is nearly gone.

"It wasn't there", James mutters, almost too quietly for Sirius to hear.

"What wasn't there?", he asks back gently.

"The freckle. It wasn't him, Sirius."

"What do you mean?", Sirius asks tensely.

"He's alive", James says to him, slightly louder than before, "I can't do this anymore. I have to go." He looks at Lily, who's looking at his parents, giddy and grinning. James brings a hand up to his face, feeling warmer and more anxious than ever, and finds his hand to be wet with tears. He's crying. They haven't left his eyes yet, but they're there.

Lily's looking at him again and he's thinking about her and Sirius and him and he realizes something.

He could never do this to Lily. He can't just leave to go find someone who might be alive. She's too good to do this to her. He loves her, just not in the way people would think given the situation.

She makes it up to the altar and Mary's dad goes to sit down. A single tear has left James' eye. Lily watches it travel down his face as the officiant speaks.

James goes back into his thoughts, drowning in the lingering feeling that he's still alive somewhere. Wading in the ever present guilt that encases him, telling him he should have gone with him or convinced him to not go. Drifting in the regret that he hadn't chosen to follow him and that he barely tried to get him to stay, knowing he could never change his mind once he had it made.

The officiant is talking through, going through his long speech about loving someone and he signals for James and Lily to hold each others hands. They do, and he finally says the words James has been waiting for.

"Now, if anybody has anything they'd like to say before I wed this couple, speak now or forever hold your peace."

James holds his breath, willing him to come through the flower curtain, barge in, object, run up here, crash the wedding, anything. Sirius glances at James cautiously, knowing he would never humiliate Lily like that, but also knowing he could never live with himself if he married Lily and lost his chance with his brother.

Not a single person moves. It's as if the world had paused to give them time. To give James time to make his decision, to give Sirius the opportunity to stop James if he moves, to give him time to say 'I object'.

He doesn't though. It's a little funny. He wouldn't have known they were getting married unless someone had told him, but who would have? Sirius surely didn't know, his reaction seemed genuine. Not many people were invited, it's mostly friends and family.

In hindsight, James should have known that he wouldn't have come back anyway. James always knew that he would be the first to leave. You can't get left behind if you leave first. Maybe that's what he was doing when he left for the lake that night. Leaving James first. Letting him down gently by faking his death instead of outright leaving.

James doesn't know what hurts more. Him being found dead or James realizing he's alive and avoiding him. Maybe he's not avoiding James, but staying away for his safety. He was like that. Keeping away so someone he cared for didn't get hurt or caught in the crossfire of his own misdoings.

James doesn't hear Lily start her vows. He doesn't hear the officiant asking James to start his. He doesn't feel Sirius tapping his shoulder to get his attention. He doesn't see the look on Lily's face when he's standing, blankly staring into the distance.

What he does see, though, is a boy. Up on a hill, leaning against a fence, a dark haired boy with his arms crossed is seen, despite all of his efforts to stay hidden.

James can't tell for sure if it's him, but he's not about to let him leave again if it is him.

"I'm sorry."

James moves to leave, but Sirius grabs his arm. He looks up at James with dejection in his eyes.

"Let him go."

James looks back at him, his eyebrows together and his mouth a line.

"I can't."

He looks over at Lily and she nods, "Go get him, James." She steps back and Mary puts a hand on her shoulder.

He smiles at her, "Thank you." James looks back up at the hill. His arms are no longer crossed and he's standing up straight. As if he's meaning to leave soon.

He can't leave. There are so many things James never got to tell him, never got to show him.

James makes his way down the aisle, the symbolism getting to him. Going down the aisle to the entrance is usually meant for couples who just got married, not for one of them to leave for someone else. He never thought of a deeper meaning to things before him. James had really only seen the surface meaning of things before him.

It's not a big hill he has to walk up, but James is feeling winded. Maybe the understanding that he's about to see one person who really saw James, the one that didn't show surface level. Anxiousness is pooling in his stomach, feeling like dread and ecstasy and impatience all in one.

James makes it to the fencepost he saw him leaning against, finding it vacant. He looks around and sees his back turned and walking away.

His expression falters. He's leaving again. James jogs up to him and just walks with him. He matches his pace, swinging his arms in time.

James only looks at him when he's sure he wouldn't notice. He did notice, but he'll never tell James.

"Do you love her?", he asks James.

His voice surprises James. He sounds almost the same, save for a hardness that must have appeared with time and damage.

It takes him a few seconds to respond, his mouth gone dry. "Not the way I did you. She's like a sister, if anything."

They stop by a bench and he sits down, motioning for James to do the same. He sits with one leg folded up under the other, his knee resting on James' thigh.

"Why'd you do it?", James asks, turning his head to look at him while he looks off into the distance.

He takes a deep breath in, then out. "I had to. He threatened to kill Sirius. And you, but he added that bit in later."

They sit there in silence for a few minutes before he leans his head against James' shoulder. James, surprised but not complaining, puts his arm around his shoulder, pulling him in closer.

"Regulus?"

"James?"

"Are you gonna leave again?"

Regulus looks over to James, making eye contact, "Not even if you wanted me to, pretty boy."

"Hold on, I'm the pretty boy?", James looks over at Regulus with visible confusion.

"Yeah", Regulus shrugs and looks back to the hills.

"Are you— Have you ever looked in a mirror?", James asks him with raised eyebrows.

"James I've said this before", Regulus tells him with a flat expression.

"Have you?", he asks Regulus, seemingly distressed.

"Yes", Regulus nods.

James looks over to the hills, then back at Regulus with an amused look on his face, "Okay then, if I'm such a pretty boy, then kiss me like one."

Regulus looks at James, still unimpressed by his antics after two years apart, yet always willing to play along. He takes James' face in his hands and kisses him, James leaning into Regulus, moving his hands into his hair as they move with each other.

Regulus breaks the kiss, his hands still around James, one on his neck and one on his shoulder.

"Was that to your liking, pretty boy?", Regulus asks, a smirk on his face.

"Indeed. It was so good, I think I may have blacked out a bit, maybe you should do it again?", James shrugs.

Regulus rolls his eyes, "Fine."

#marauders #marauders fandom #the marauders era #marauders headcanons #james potter #regulus arcturus black #regulus black #lily evans #marlene mckinnon #mary macdonald #emmeline vance #regulus and sirius #sirius black #sirius and regulus #jegulus #jegulus fanfiction #jegulus fic #remus lupin #marauders era #peter pettigrew #frank longbottom #alice fortescue #alice longbottom #euphemia potter #fleamont potter #the marauders #effie potter #completely unrelated but what if regulus had a peanut allergy i think thatd be so funny #angst with a happy ending #light angst