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#so one second I feel social and want to talk and message a bunch of people
rosicheeks · 1 year
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Deffffinitely let you smooch me on the lips miss and I love your your lil updates. Come home from your stranger things session and cuddle me please
😘
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traffic-light-eyes · 9 months
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Ninja as influencers
My previous post got me thinking, and now I have to write this down.
Kai:
He for sure has Twitter/Chirp and uses it regularly. Very popular. He also has the ninjago equivalent to Instagram and is also very popular there, too. I could imagine him having a yt channel and doing silly vlogs and the occasional game, but that's about it. The other ninja were a bit weirded out by the vlogs at first because they didn't really want to feed into the whole idolizing the ninja thing, but realized that they could show the world that they're just. People. Normal people who save the world sometimes but are normally just passed out on the couch. They all love being in his vlogs now. When he records something embarrassing, he makes absolutely certain that the person it's of is okay with it being posted. Like, he gives them weeks to think about it. He has a video of Zane singing let it go (due to Jay's programming skills), and he was ecstatic to be able to post it. He's also a tiktok star. He does the silly dances and lip-syncing.
Nya:
She has Chirp but doesn't use it for social media purposes? If that makes sense. Like, she mainly only scrolls through her friends' chirps and responds to those. She gets into the groove and made a really sweet and chill community once the people that were only there for the "inside scoop" of the water ninja's life left. Now there's just her friends and a bunch of nice people. She comments on and rechirps? a lot of fanart, though. She has an Instagram but only to comment on Kai's posts with a thumbs down. She has a tiktok. It's secret. She posts little edits about her artwork or mechanics. It's fairly popular. She sometimes uses the filters and makes videos using them but never posts them.
Cole:
Similar to Nya, he has a Chirp account but doesn't really use it much. He'll respond to fanart and fans, but he only really posts occasionally. His posts normally consist of song recommendations or riffs of his friends. He threads callouts when he feels especially petty. It's pretty chill. He probably has a secret second account for art. He doesn't want people to like his art just because he's the earth ninja, so he made a second account. He has a tumblr too. I don't make the rules. He tries to stay in the loop with everyone's thoughts and shuts down the gross people. He's pretty well-known on the site. He likes reblogging the ship content and misdirecting people because it's funny. Pixal found him drawing techno and he scrambled for an excuse but she silently put a finger to her lip, winked, and left. He was very confused. She was absolutely dying on the inside from laughter because she knew of his account but wanted to freak him out. He couldn't look her in the eye for a week because he thought she thought he shipped them or something. She purposefully spoke to him often. He kept trying to explain, but Pixal always had an excuse to leave or change the subject before he could say it.
Lloyd:
He has Chirp. He has tumblr. He has ao3. He's not allowed on Instagram. He has a yt channel where he exclusively talks about comics and games. On his Chirp, he is completely unhinged some times, and other times, he posts cute animals he finds on missions or on patrol. He found a stray cat once and named her mittens because a follower commented it. He has #mittensmonday, where he posts a picture of her. It's always trending on Monday. His tumblr is once again about games and stuff, but he has a semi-secret side blog for Ninja Shenanigans where it's theorized that it's him, but no one has proof and he doesnt give a direct answer. He has unknowingly reblogged and messaged Cole on multiple occasions because he doesn't know about the Secret account. Cole doesn't know what to do. His ao3 account is mostly to check up on what people are thinking. If he sees something unsavory, he immediately logs off because that's him. Avid tiktok enjoyer. He could make a video of just him staring at the screen, and it would go viral. He finds it hilarious. It's his goal to find the most obscure thing to post and for it to finally not get viral.
Zane:
He has Chirp, but he hasn't used it. Either that or he uses it so terribly incorrectly. I could be convinced that he has a cooking yt channel. He'd call it something nerdy or informational, but people kept chirping about it calling him cookingmama, and he doesn't get it? But due to Jay's persistence, he changed his @ to cookingmama.
Jay:
He has Chirp. He uses it to keep up with the world + just talk to fans. He has a gaming channel and a Twitch account. He streams at least once a week. He loves it! He has a pretty chill community, and he often asks his friends to play with him. He makes sure that the games he play with them are suited to them first. He doesn't ask. He just knows. He picks action-based games for Kai - maybe LoL or, like, Left 4 dead. He plays silly smart games with Nya, like Portal or Keep talking and nobody explodes (they are ridiculously good at this). He and Cole would play scary games. They exclusively play them at night; phasmaphobia has caused many of the ninja to awaken to a shriek. Comfy and typically non-violent games are his and Lloyd's go-to. They'll play Minecraft or stardew for HOURS before they realize the sun is coming up. He and Zane play semi-stressful cooking games, or Zane is just there for commentating. They'll be seen playing overcooked or cooking simulator (they always play that one with a challenge somehow). He makes silly follower goals, and he has unfortunately had to do many, many things because his followers keep rising.
Honorary Ninja, Pixal:
She has an account for every platform that the ninja have just to crowd control + to support them in their comments. She rarely, if ever, posts anything aside from commenting on her friends' posts. Hc that Borg owns every platform, so she uses that to weed out the weirdos by asking him to make the platform very buggy on their device specifically. It's only a matter of time before they delete the app, and she loves watching the downfall via their posts and complaints about the website. She knows of everyone's account, even the Secret ones. She never lets them know that she knows of them, even if they do something strange because of it (check Cole's). She loves messing with them. If someone posts something recently, she conveniently talks about it the same day and gives them whiplash because what are the chances that she said that today. She's the go-to gal if there are any tech issues on stream or during editing.
Here ya go! Hope you enjoy my brainrot <3
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virginstoner666 · 11 months
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if they were on survivor-
Scout 
would probably get screwed over by the edit and get portrayed as a moron who annoys everyone and is only ok at challenges. but in reality he'd be pretty tight with the rest of his tribe. 
totally hogs confessionals (on purpose) and talks over people a lot at tribal council (on accident) 
might not make it all the way to merge, but would absolutely be invited back for an All Stars season.
Soldier
 medically evacuated. 
he’ll get brought back for another season to redeem himself and get medically evacuated a second time.
Pyro 
no social game, no game plan, just came to have a good time. 
better than people would think at challenges, but wouldn’t do well at tribal council and could easily be one of the first voted out. 
but if by some chance they made it to the merge, in theory, they would dominate endurance challenges by just entering their happy place and vibing out until everyone else breaks concentration.
Heavy 
challenge beast, no question. 
great at catching food for the tribe, and will take the greatest share of the food every meal. (no one would dare try to stop him.) 
great at challenges, and is liked by the rest of his tribe, but not the best social game. (not too talkative and wouldn’t really understand when he’s being manipulated and by extension, can’t manipulate others) 
would likely be blindsided before he could make it far past the merge. 
would get pretty teary-eyed if he made it to the message from home/family visit episode.
Demo 
fan favorite, no question
a total wild card when it comes to challenges, and wins a lot of individual immunities
mostly here for comic relief, but would have tons of people rooting for him to make it to the end. just like scout, he would for sure be wanted back for an all stars season. 
can be a little lazy about helping out around camp, but people don’t really care since he’s so fun to have around.
loves to fight dirty during physical challenges and probably will return home with a bunch of parasites.
engineer 
he is the greatest at solving challenge puzzles, but can’t keep up in water challenges for the life of him. 
very likeable to audience and other players. unfortunately would have a major target on his back during the late-merge on account of having many friends on the jury.
other than heavy, he’s one of the best hunters and a great provider for the rest of the team.
would look like a completely different person by the end of the game vs when he started on account of losing like 25 pounds, borderline sun-poisoning, bug bites, and growing an entire beard.
medic
agent of chaos and constantly getting in fights with the other members of the tribe (for funsies). 
can make allies just as easily as he can backstab them (also for funsies). 
gets on people’s nerves a lot at camp, but his smooth-talking give him a HELL of a social game. 
the most insane confessionals, no one knows what he’s on about, but he’s got spirit
on the better side of average for challenges, stronger than most in water and at solving puzzles, even if he’s not great at obstacle courses or other pure brute strength challenges. 
i feel like he’d also be pretty good at finding immunity idols. would have a huge fan cult-following.
sniper 
remember that one guy unnerved the rest of the tribe by spending an uncomfortable amount of time sharpening his machete while staring at the other people on his tribe eerily? that be him. 
alright at challenges, but very weak in the water. would do well trying to keep a low-profile and keep a target off his back. 
also would probably have a considerable cult-following.
spy
just here to blindside people and betray his allies, he doesn’t care about the money. 
does not help out at ALL around camp. really annoying and smug monologs during his confessionals.
he could get pretty far in the game, but even if he were to make it all the way to the final 3, no one would vote for him after playing such a cheap, backstab-y game. 
he would be very good at challenge puzzles, and deciphering messages. also great at finding immunity idols, and uses them just right. ( which is to say, right away because everyone wants him gone so fucking bad)
miss pauling
 hot take, but i think she’d be most likely to win. 
she can read people so well, is underestimated by others and would also be great at pitting people against each other without them finding out she was behind it all.
a decent fisher and could be counted on to bring food home for the rest of the tribe and wouldn’t require as much food as others. 
would get and underdog storyline
saxton hale
can’t really see him as a player, more likely he’d be jeff probst.
administrator
originally part of the game-designers, but got banned after her “challenges” kept killing people
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margarethx · 1 year
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Another Sambucky story I would really want to write when my brain allows me to do it would be the one that really focuses on their loneliness. Because I feel like it’s something very deeply ingrained in both of these characters that’s surprisingly rarely explored in stories - especially when it comes to Sam.
I feel like Sam and Bucky have a natural talent for forming quick bonds with people. Even Bucky, despite... everything... seemed to have an easy time talking to Leah, Ayo, Sam’s family, or Sam himself after knowing them for a relatively short time. Sam, meanwhile, has an important connection with his community, became friends with Steve in an instant, and seemed to be acquainted with most Avengers after knowing them for a rather short time.
It looks like they want to and could potentially have a social life.
But at the same time... they’re so wildly independent and stubborn that they keep putting a barrier between themselves and other people. Bucky, by not responding to messages, going into hiding, or literally putting himself in a freezer. And Sam, by leaving for the military, then living far away from his family in DC, or by going on missions alone, instead of asking for help.
(Not to mention that Sam had dropped his job at the VA and life in DC without a second of regret, so I doubt he had a flourishing social life or a bunch of close friends who’d noticed that he’s gone.)
So, to sum up... Sam and Bucky both want to connect with people, however, these relations seem very surface level and short-lived - even if they’re genuine. Because they often prefer to be alone, but push it a bit too far at times. Or because they’re at a point in their life when they just can’t allow themselves to have friends, let alone a partner - Hydra, military, being a fugitive... or being dead.
And... finally. I’d love to explore how Bucky is the only person who’s truly able to break Sam’s barriers and emotional defenses (and vice versa). How no one else could get so close to them except for the other, because they crave the human contact and closeness, but nobody understood them well enough, until now, to make the relationship actually meaningful.
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sgiandubh · 6 months
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Do you think he does different types of promo to attract all the different crowds?
Dear Promo Anon,
Not only I think he does that, I also happen to think he (or anyone seriously hoping to sell anything other than snake oil) should do exactly that.
The problem is not the logical correlation between what you want to sell and the people to whom you want to sell it. The first problem is the lack of balance between your way of interacting with your different target groups, which could lead to a very fuzzy brand image. Both of your products and of yourself, who are their creator and main promoter.
Promoting a brand without a clear set of main ideas and values is very likely to have a negative impact on your sales. Show them biceps, sea, sex (?) and sun galore is all fine and dandy for the younger crowd (and the LGBT+ one, btw). But showing at the same time that you can be a gentleman (please, for the love of Saruman, get rid of those rings! that woman doesn't know what she's talking about!) should be at least on par with the Lustfest promise you ventilate to your other segment. Possible message being: working hard and playing hard - you can have the best of both worlds (or at least try).
The second problem is that S's brand is.. ehrm... way too personal. Too approachable (I already mentioned the Costco Hugfest) for a rabid fandom. That goes both ways, btw, because many (on both sides of the Great Divide) honestly feel they own a bit of S. At the same time, he is also JAMMF to many people in here, who imagine he has almost superhuman qualities (most probably not the case). That is exhilarating and empowering, until it's not. One or three or twenty faux-pas later, people will feel the savage urge to spit on the idol. A simple matter of collective instinct, but a very tricky situation for S.
The third problem are the side players. I am not talking about AN or CB or TMcG or the Fitness Harem. I am talking about the Trolls, who really don't do him any favor. Nothing worse for his brand potential than lascivious comments - let's suppose you are a major distributor's marketing expert and you land on That Blog, where the owner shares publicly her dream of licking her way from (how was it?) LHR to GLA to the Highlands to the ends of the known Universe, for a chance of God knows what. What would you write in that memo to the CEO? 'Yes, please: immediately place ALL his booze upfront near the cashier, because the man is an idol to a bunch of fifty-something women who dream the impossible dream?' You think I am exaggerating? Try googling for SRH tumblr and see the first results (😱). These people are visible and that visibility directly informs the interaction between SS and its potential business partners. Especially when your Partner Everyday thought blasting a sizeable chunk of OL's Tumblr fandom in Vanity Fair was a clever strategy for The Win - things like this invite (unwanted) attention.
I pleaded for diversification of the marketing strategy and for a more sophisticated approach and I welcome the change, Anon. The only thing I would like you to take home from this very long answer is simple:
Social Media is just Social Media. The glitz, the glam, the superficial stardust, the Truman Show where it never rains.
Real Life is Real Life. We only see glimpses, speculate on it, have a more or less educated guess and if we are lucky enough, some tidbits to chew on.
Progressively, the very unprofessional (bantering) Social Media strategy has been replaced with an account strategy based on product promotion. Convenient, when you do not (for reasons X, Y and Z) want to discuss what you feel is private and likely to remain so, for a while.
That's about it, Anon. If you still have questions, you can always pop in here. I promise I won't charge a retainer, out of my good heart.
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klbwriting · 2 months
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For Love of Fiction
Part 2
Fandom: Red Hood
Pairing: Jason Todd x f!plus size!reader
Warnings: threats of violence and the teeniest suggestion of threat of SA
Summary: you meet Jason for coffee and he seems to be interested in more dates, you make dinner plans but he cancels so you go to the diner instead, which then is attacked by Joker followers, will Red Hood save you again?
Notes: I may or may not have a part 3 in mind, I don't think this will be a big series or anything, but maybe another part would be fun, or I'll spiral out of control and just write more who knows? Once again, Lewis Tan is the facecast/fancast I have for Jason Todd
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               “So you didn’t have an Instagram when I asked you to DM me, so you created one just to talk to me?” you asked, sitting at the café across from Jason.  You had been exchanging messages for weeks and finally decided to meet up for coffee one morning after he got off work.  You could see whatever he did made him tired, but he was putting in an effort for you.  He had even complimented you on the book he had gotten at the signing, saying it was your best one, the perfect conclusion to the Red Fox/Layla trilogy, which had you blushing like crazy. 
               “No, I definitely didn’t have any social media, but I wasn’t missing the chance to talk to you,” he said, words making you melt a little.  Normally you would brush off those kinds of words from guys.  You knew your self-esteem was shot from a few years of a dry dating market and the few people who did date you only seemed to leave or cheat on you eventually, but Jason didn’t make you feel like that.  Even though you had just met really you trusted him, he seemed so sincere and only said what he meant.  Of course, it meant you often messaged him a bunch and he would take time to respond, only when he had something to say.  But he never made you feel like you talked too much, or that any of your interests were stupid, it was refreshing and made you adore him. 
               “That is really sweet to do just to talk to me,” you said, sipping your tea, catching a glimpse of someone’s laptop showing a video of Red Hood.  “Huh, guess my muse was on patrol last night.”  This was another thing that normally drove people away, your fixation on Red Hood, how you called him your muse, or would read up on his exploits for days after they had happened.  Jason didn’t seem to mind, in fact when you said muse just now, he blushed a little.  Was he annoyed but hiding it? 
               “Ya, he’s been busy lately,” he said.  “So do you think you’d be willing to give me your actual number so I can get rid of Instagram?”  You laughed and after a second you nodded, holding your hand out for his phone.  He gave it to you and you wrote in your number, handing it back to him.  He looked at it, typed something out and put it away.  “Texted you so you would know it was me.”  You nodded and went to add him to your contacts and you felt your heart stop at the message.
Hey beautiful, want to meet again for dinner?
               You looked at him and he smiled, waiting for your reply.  You typed up a yes and sent it back before stowing your phone.
               “I really hope that says yes,” he said.  You laughed and nodded.
               “It does.  Now tell me about yourself more, I feel like we have all the basics, jobs, interests, a little about family, but what else makes Jason Todd tick?” you asked, splitting the lemon loaf you had bought and sliding half to Jason, noticing that he had downed the egg cups he had bought in about 3 seconds, he seemed hungry.  He looked at the offering and then back at you, smiling a little. 
               “Did I tell you I cook?” he asked.  You shook your head.  “Ya, my uh, butler taught me how to cook and I really love it.  Not my job but something I really like to do.” 
               “I like to bake; we should do that together sometime!  You make dinner and I’ll make dessert!” you said, smiling and getting excited, then pulling back, smile falling a little.  This was normally the moment whoever you were with said that you were being too much.  But Jason just raised an eyebrow at you, making the white streak in his black pop a little more.  You wondered about that white streak and kind of wished you had given Red Fox something like that, it was very hot honestly. 
               “Why did you stop smiling so much?” he asked.  You blushed, hoping he hadn’t noticed.  “I love that smile, I like when you get excited, your eyes sparkle, its sweet.”  You turned even redder.  “How many more compliments until you go full tomato.”  You wanted to be mad but could see the playful teasing smile on his lips.  He wasn’t saying this to be malicious, he wanted to see you smile again.  So, you did, nice and big, throwing in a laugh also.  If anything, he seemed more delighted he could make you look like that. 
               The rest of the date seemed to go like that, you guys talked about what to do on your next date, and then the next one even, him making you smile so much your face hurt.  By the time he walked you to your car in the parking garage you were about ready to call it and say you were in love with him.  You knew that was crazy, but something about him made you feel so safe and warm that you couldn’t help it.  And when he gently kissed you, soft but still somehow full of passion you were speechless. 
               The next week passed, and you were disappointed when Jason had to cancel dinner, but you understood, work sometimes screwed with relationships, you just hoped it wouldn’t become habit.  Since you had planned on dinner out you didn’t make yourself anything and decided to pop down to the nearby diner to get something.  It was relatively early still for Gotham, around 8PM, so you hoped it was still safe, but the amount of people in the diner said otherwise.  Normally this place was packed with couples, teenagers, students from the nearby university.  That night it was you, the waitress, the cook, and only three other people all spread out.  You figured you would get your food to go so you waited on a stool as they were fixing your order when in came two guys, dressed like clowns.  Great, Joker followers.  You did what they said, handing over your purse, but then they looked around, eyeing the waitress who was maybe just out of high school.  They walked over to her, telling her to follow them. 
               “No!” you said, seeing the tears and terror on her face.  You moved over, standing in front of her, trying to ignore the gun pointed at your head.  “Leave her alone, you have your money get out!”  They both laughed.
               “Look, we got a hero, let’s make sure she knows what happens to heroes…” one of them said, aiming the gun for your head.  You took a breath, trying not to cry yourself, put on a brave face, when the door to the diner smashed open and Red Hood stalked in, the clowns turning their attention to him.  You turned, pushing the waitress down to the ground, sliding under the counter as much as you could, pulling any stool within reach in front of you and the younger woman.  You watched throw the legs of the stool as Red Hood made quick work of the thieves, cuffing them.  Then he looked over, right at you, hiding under the stool, now actually crying at the feeling of being safe, and he punched them both again, knocking them unconscious. 
               “You’re safe now,” you heard that familiar robotic voice say.  You pushed the stools aside, helping the waitress to stand.  She immediately went behind the counter, still eyeing the attacks with weary eyes.  Red Hood approached you slowly, reaching out and touching your shoulder gently.  “Are you ok?” he asked.  You weren’t sure why he was paying this much attention to you, but you appreciated it.
               “Yes, thank you for saving me again,” you said.  He nodded and turned to leave but stopped, looking back at you.
               “Thanks for making me your muse,” he said before going out the door. 
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writeformesinpie · 2 years
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Restless Devotion
Lee Seokmin (DK) x Fem!Reader 
Summary - You’re home alone… at least you think you are. You can’t shake the feeling that someone’s watching you. 
Genre - Yandere
Warnings - Stalker, sexual content, implied violence, obsession, swearing, yandere themes. 
Word Count - 1.6k
A/N - This is part of the Don’t Be Scared Seventeen Halloween Collab. It is so late! ��� I’m sorry @jeonronwoo​ ! (Pretty sure that this collab was cancelled or abandoned which is fine - I actually wrote this last September but never edited it - stupid ADHD brain haha) 
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   There’s a faint tap against the window.
   It’s not the first time you’ve heard the gentle scraping sound while you sit on your bed, scrolling on your laptop. The last few nights have all been the same but when you look outside all you see is the display garden a few steps from your window.
   Someone could be hiding out there, past the delicate garden, out in the maple trees. It’s true, but no matter how long you stare into the dark spaces between the flora, you’ve yet to see anyone or anything moving around. A soft breeze flickers against the open curtain and the material dances for a few moments before falling back into an unsettling stillness.
   It’s not just a branch like your roommate suggested earlier in the week, how could it be? The branches are too far away. It’s physically impossible.
   They also suggested it was a rock from a passing car hitting the wall, which you admit is the more likely of the two, but still unlikely. The rock would have to fly past all the trees and just happen to make its way between them to land close to your window. And to do so more than once? Perhaps it had been just a bug or some kind of animal.
   Goosebumps crawl across your skin as you look outside once more. No, you’re not alone.
   You are being watched.
   There’s no logic behind it. It’s only a feeling, but you know it’s true.
   The ping of your phone sounds off as you peek through the middle of the lace separating the solid purple drapes on either side of it. Maybe it’s time to invest in some blackout curtains, or some thick horizontal blinds.
   There’s no one outside – no one you can see, anyway.
   Letting out a deep sigh, you walk back to the bed and dive headfirst against the bedspread, your body rigid and unmoving until another ping of your phone demands your attention.
   It’s your roommate. They’re out of town visiting their family and have something new to complain about no doubt. Tossing your phone onto your pillow, you continue to scroll through social media, responding to some of your friends before your phone pings once more.
   “Alright, alright. What do you want?” Looking at her message, you pull the phone closer to your face. “What the fuck?”
   This can’t be real.
   Needing to see it on a larger screen, you search up the username your roommate sent you. The account pops right up. It’s real. But who would do this?
   “What is this?”
   Typing furiously, you ask questions that she doesn’t know the answers to. A friend of hers you had met a few times happened across the account and thought it was suspicious and forwarded it. They don’t know who the owner of the account is. They don’t know if it’s just a joke. They don’t know anything useful at all.
   This can’t be real.
   It’s an instagram account claiming to be your official fansite with a bunch of your pictures. Nothing but your pictures. One hundred and twenty nine of them.
   Pictures you haven’t seen before. Pictures of you in your bedroom sitting on your bed, looking at your laptop or laying down while staring at your phone. Pictures of you outside talking to friends or buying groceries. And, perhaps the most disturbing of all, pictures of you wearing a towel while you brush your teeth in the bathroom. The angles make it obvious these were taken from your window but the bathroom is on the second floor.
   ”The love of my life.”
   ”You went to the aquarium today.”
   ”Should I help with your flat tire?”
   Pushing the laptop away, you jump off the bed. Pulling the suitcase out from under your bed, you unzip it before flinging open your dresser. Scraping together as many items as you can, you toss them on your bed. A soft rap at the window throws you off guard, your head snapping up as you look back in the direction of the sound.
   Ignoring what you hope is indeed just a bug, your heartbeat throbs in your ears as you look back at the laptop. The account boasts about being your biggest fan, that you’re the love of their life and this is their way to worship you, that you deserve to be treated like a queen.
   It’s too much. Tears well in your eyes as a wave of shivers take control of your shoulders.
   There’s more.
   Although there aren’t many likes, the comments somehow outweigh them. Each comment is worse than the last. Creepy messages fill the space under your photos, wishing they could touch you and asking for more content. They want to see you closer. They want to see you with less clothing. They want to see you cry. They want to see you moan.
   Scrolling through each photo, you look with utter disbelief at the captions and comments, tears streaming down your face.
   Returning your focus back to packing, you shove the clothes into the case, mindless of what you grabbed and what you even need. You click your tongue as a wave of cold sweat covers your arms and face. The pictures. The older ones were of you in your backyard, in your car and out and about. The more photos this freak posted, the closer they were until–
   You turn the laptop towards you and shudder.
   The last photo.
   The last picture of you is from inside the house, the mesh of the window no longer visible.
   It’s of you sleeping.
   As if someone was hovering above you while you slept.
   Taking a deep breath, you stumble to the door, your fingers shaking as you try several times to lock it. Sweat lubricates your palms, making it difficult to turn the knob. Once you hear the familiar click, you turn your back and slide down, landing roughly on your arse. Slumped up against the door, your shoulders hunched, you take a few deep breaths before your breathing finally starts to slow and you’re able to sooth your raging heart closer to that of a normal rhythm.
   “It’s okay. You’re okay,” you hum as you begin to rub your forearms back and forth, the continuous movement lulling you into a sense of security. There’s nothing to fear. You’re fine. You are safe here. There’s no one here.
   As if on queue the soft tap at your window causes you to jump.
   There’s someone outside.
   Pushing yourself up, you turn towards the glass and whimper. This can’t be happening. With a rapid glance around the room, your eyes lock on the five pound dumbbell lying on the ground by your closet. Edging across the wall, you slink to the floor and raise the weight in front of you in a protective stance as you inch closer to the window.
   Halfway there a creaking sound comes from the floor above, stopping you dead in your tracks. Head heavy, you look at the ceiling before turning back to the window with a gasp.
   There’s no one outside.
   No one’s outside but, through the reflection of the window, you see the closet door opening behind you.
   He’s already inside the house.
   Steadying yourself, you take a deep breath before turning on your heel and swinging the dumbbell at the stranger in your room. He just smiles and sidesteps your attack. His reactions are faster than yours and before you can lift the weight again, his arms have circled your body and forced it out of your hand. It crashes to the ground with a mighty thud.
   “You fucking creep,” you screech, slaming the heel of your foot into his shin before you run towards the door. Turning the knob a few times, you curse under your breath. You had locked it just a few minutes ago, the action backfiring. As you push against the lock to open the door, he pulls you back by your hair, lifting you up in the air and hurling you onto the bed. Pain radiates from your scalp as you scramble up to the headboard, holding out your hands. “What do you want? Please don’t hurt me.”
   “Oh baby, I don’t want to hurt you. I want to love you.” The light catches his features, shadows enunciating every curve and dip. His face is all angles, and his kinked and fluffy hair dusting his eyes keeps them from full view. He looks as deranged as his words.
   “How can you love me? We don’t even know each other,” you say, a gurgled bubble clogging your throat on the last word, turning your voice into something unrecognisable. “Please just let me go.”
   “I’m never gonna let you go.”
   He slinks down onto the bed and slides towards you, his face covered with a grin that stretches across his slender face. He catches one of your feet as you kick out against him. Lifting your leg up, he presses his lips against your ankle. Flinching, you pull back but his fingers bite into your skin, making you cry out.
   “No one will ever love you as much as I do. This world doesn’t deserve you.” He’s looking at you from the same level now and you can see his eyes. They’re dark, like the rest of his features, with a glimmer of hope and lust on full display. He’s looking at you like a cat who found a saucer of milk.
   “Please, don’t.” Your voice is a whisper. His eyes are intent on yours as his tongue caresses your calf, leaving a trail of kisses up to your thigh. “Just stop.”
   “I’m going to love you with every inch of my being,” he whispers, slithering up your body, a smile still adorning his face. “And I’ll never stop. Not until your dying breath.”
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this content! If you did, please consider liking, commenting, reblogging and/or following, and check out my masterlist for similar content. Have a great day!
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shelbystales · 2 years
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Unhealed Love - Part Three
Tommy Shelby x Reader - Masterlist
Read previous parts: 1 - 2 -
Summary: You and Tommy have history… a long one but to cut the story short he pushed you away, shut you out of his life without giving you a chance to try another path… a path together, but you felt so angry at him that you didn’t want to try it either. Maybe it was better this way… more than ten years passed and you thought you’d had your time to heal but one day was all it took to destroy that idea of getting over Tommy Shelby.
Warning: Season 6 spoilers, swearing, angst, cheating.
English is my second language so I apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes
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There you were again, gearing up for yet another event together with a group of people you'd rather think were constantly high on hallucinogenic drugs than actually believe they could have such repulsive reasoning. 
You were sitting on a comfortable leather chair in your dressing room, which was nothing more than a small room they had set aside for you to get ready. Some expensive chocolates, red roses and a bottle of champagne had been left as a gift for you, along with a message: 
"Some treats to make you feel special. Break a leg, dear. - Oswald and Diana." 
As much as you didn't like them you had to admit they had good manners and knew how to please you. You felt good with them, felt welcomed.
You wore a long, velvety burgundy dress that had very long sleeves with slits down to the forearm. The dress fits well in your silhouette, leaving you with a beautiful and elegant body. Your hair is styled in an elegant braided bun and a ruby earring adding a final touch of refinement to your look.
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You ate the chocolates waiting for time to pass until your presentation, which went well. The space was big and the acoustics were great. The audience wasn't very excited, but they were a bunch of rich people with their noses held up high so what to expect from them? At least you got a long round of applause at the end.
Oswald asked that you join the party afterward so you could meet and interact with the other members of parliament. So here you were, making small talk with people you weren't interested in at all, but they seemed pretty interested in you. You got a lot of compliments and got hit on quite often by these old married men that whom you only had repulsive feelings. 
Even though you had promised not to put a drop of alcohol in your mouth after what had happened last weekend, you came to the conclusion that without alcohol in your system you wouldn't be able to survive this night, even questioning if you had done the right choice of accepting Oswald proposal.
No, you need this, get out of your comfort zone. Start socializing and seeing people again, even if they're this crazy bunch, you thought.
You were talking to Diana and a group of four other women who called themselves her friends. She had already complimented you at least ten times tonight and you were already starting to wonder if her words had any value. For some reason, you thought you couldn't believe a word that came out of her mouth. 
Finally finding a break, you sat down to regain some energy but were soon pulled by Diana again.
"Come here, honey. I want to introduce you to someone, he's a handsome professor and I think you will like him" she said taking your arm and leading you through the sea of people.
As she walked along, she saw Oswald talking to none other than Tommy. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw that she was walking towards them.
"My love, have you seen Professor Florence?" she asked stopping to speak to her fiancé. As you stood there Tommy's eyes roammed over your figure. You avoided eye contact finding it hard to stand there in that uncomfortable situation and to make it all much better, Lizzie was with him. She smiled at you as you approached, not looking comfortable with the conversation she was having with Oswald and Thomas.
"Oh I'm sorry but I don't know you," Diana said looking at her
"This is Lizzie Shelby, dear. Thomas' wife" Oswald spoke
"Oh yes, of course" she looked Lizzie up and down.
Thomas cleared his throat and said, "Mosley, can we talk business?"
"Of course, we can," Oswald said "y/n, do you mind if we use your dressing room?" he asked and you subtly denied it with your head.
"Well, in that case, I think Y/n should participate. Is there a better way for her to learn anything from us?" Diana spoke
"Hm, no… no, I don't need to. You were going to introduce me to that professor, weren't you?" you spoke almost choking on your own words
"Oh don't be silly," she said laughing "Professor Florence can wait"
You walked in first and went straight to the basket gift left earlier for you. You opened the champagne you'd promised yourself you wouldn't drink and poured each a cup. Drinking it as you sat down in your chair, facing away from most of them. Looking at the mirror's reflection in front of you, your gaze met Thomas's, and a flutter in your stomach momentarily took your breath away. You looked away, preferring to turn your attention to Diana rather than remain locked in his gaze.
You tried to travel in your head to get away from that meeting. 
You've heard the subtle insults exchanged between them, especially between Diana and Lizzie. And it all seemed to go up in smoke when Lizzie admitted to having sex with Oswald and left the room.
Lizzie was never a very patient person. You weren't her biggest fan back then, especially after the war when Tommy came back and she became his favorite whore. You felt jealous of her. After the war for a while he could barely touch you, the only times you two touched each other was when you ended up sleeping in the little house they had on Small Heath, due to a sleepover with Ada, or after telling little Finn a story. During those nights, you could hear him having nightmares, and every time you ended up sleeping cuddled with him in his bed, calming his nerves. You wondered now if those nightmares were gone, if Lizzie needed to calm him down as well.
She must love him so much to have been with him all this time, you thought. Do you see Polly? At least I managed to get out, unlike her who got stuck with him, you thought. 
What startled you about the conversation was that Tommy didn't use a word to defend her in that room. Maybe he thought it wasn't necessary, that it wouldn't matter. But still... you felt sorry for her. Also, she was living in a lie, did she know about you? Did she know about the tuberculoma? should you tell her? No... it has nothing to do with you, just leave it.
"Y/n, are you coming?" Diana asked snapping you out of your reverie.
Looking at her you saw that she was at the entrance of the room holding the door open, everyone had already left
"No, Diana. I need to recover my energies, I'm too tired" you said honestly and to your surprise, she was understanding
"It's ok y/n, let me know when you're feeling better," she said and closed the door.
Resting your head on your arms and your arms on top of the dresser, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You needed to get used to this life again, but you weren't as young as before, you didn't have as much energy. Smiling you remember the old days when you left a show and went straight to a party. Good times.
You heard the door open and close, looking up you saw Tommy standing there.
"what you want?" you asked worn out
"To apologize," he said "I shouldn't have told you"
"Yeah, you fucking shouldn't have," you said leaning back in your chair. "That is all?"
"No," he said and swallowed "why are you working for these people? You are better than them, you can easily have better opportunities"
"Well what can I say Tommy... they pay well and it's none of your business," you said irritably
He nodded subtly and took a cigarette from his pocket. Walking closer to you as he lit it, he leaned against your dressing table and let the smoke out. Oh, he's so sexy when he smokes... no, no, don't go there, you told yourself.
"Do you agree with what they say?" he asked not looking at you
"What do you care?" you counter-asked, he nodded again scratching the bridge of his nose with his thumb
"They are not good people y/n, You know that right?" he asked.
"And you are?" you asked again. You knew how answering a question with another question made him angry, but at that point, you didn't care.
"They are using you to get to me," he said and you chuckled
"Then they are stupid" you whispered
"If there is something that they are not is stupid, y/n," he said and took a long drag
"You know, you should have said something when they were targeting Lizzie," you said
"What do you care about her, ey?" he played his cards now trying to annoy you "You didn't seem to last week"
"Fuck you" you got up and walked to the middle of the room but instead of leaving you turned to him "you know what? I always thought that after all these years you would have changed, that... I don't know. ...that you might go back to being one percent of the man you were before the war. The man I loved so deeply. But apparently, you just distanced yourself from him, you're not the Tommy Shelby I knew, you're not my Tommy. You say they're bad people? Well, guess what? You should buy a fucking mirror and look at yourself" You glared at him, but he didn't say anything. He just looked at you, eyes locked on yours. You nodded and started walking towards the door
"Y/n" he called you, you stopped and looked at him waiting for him to continue "you look nice," he said. 
You sighed angrily and walked to open your door but he quickly stopped you, holding the door closed. His face was so close to yours as he did, you could smell the cigar on his breath. 
"Why didn't you reach out all those years?" he asked making you laugh in disbelief 
"Really?" you asked taking your hand off the doorknob and folding your arms "if I remember correctly you were the one that ended everything. What did you want me to do? Ask: pretty please let me back into your life?" you mocked 
"I didn't expect you to leave" he admitted 
"Well, I'm not sorry I did," you said. He nodded and took his hand away from the door, allowing you to leave.
"Then do it again," he said 
You looked into his eyes, not knowing what to do. Part of you didn't want to leave, part of you never did. But you knew you couldn't stay, after all... he was dying, what would you stay for?
"As I said before, you are no longer the man I loved. I'd rather think he died than accept that he became you. I don't know who you are and you no longer know who I am either" you said, you could see in his eyes as subtle as it was you could see your words hurt him "You chose another path and I don't believe there are any more stories for the two of us to live Tommy. So... goodbye" You reached for the doorknob again 
"Give me one last kiss," he said with his husky voice, making you frown.
You didn’t know what to say. You felt cornered, you were cornered. He caressed your cheek and leaned closer to you, he placed a gentle peek on your lips, just as he was asking for your permission.
"Why? Why are you doing this to me?" you asked, your mouth was dry due to the anxiety you were feeling. he shook his head 
"You are right” he took one step back “I’m sorry”
“Are you?” You frowned and he smiled with the corner of his lips
“Yeah, just…” he cleared his throat “… just stay away from ‘em yeah? Just like you did to me, ey” he joked but there was nothing funny about it.
Fuck. You were going to regret what you were going to do.
“Do you wanna know why? Why I’m working with them?” You asked and he tilted his head to the left and nodded, his eyes admiring you tenderly. God you missed his blue eyes on you, paying attention at every word you said or thing you did.
“I need this,” you said not hiding the shame or guilt in your voice “as much stupid they are, weirdly they make me comfortable. it's been so long since i stepped on a stage, i didn't sing" you said wistfully “they made it so easy, I just have to come here and sing. They take care of me, I guess” you shrugged
“They are using you” he said, pretending not to hear a word you just said
“Maybe… but if you had listened to what I said you would have asked me what happened that scared me off this life. But since you didn’t, I guess it’s safe to say you don’t want to know” you said
“Oh I listened” he said nodding
“You just don’t want to know” you assumed. He took a step closer and caressed your arm, getting closer and closer to you
"I'm sorry" he said “I'm afraid I have to go, Lizzie must be looking for me” you nodded
“Tommy, before you go, can I ask you something?” you asked with fear
“Yeah of course”
“The famous feeling everyone is so obsessed about, happiness… have you ever met her?” you asked.
He looked a bit surprised by your question “at some point” he replied.
“good” you smiled.
"Did you?" he asked and you nodded.
“at some point” you answered, he smiled at you “but she soon moved away, far away”. he nodded
“she did” he said and took his hand gently to your face and kissed you “I think you deserve to know, you made me happy” you smiled
“so why? why did you break up with me?” you asked, but he didn't answer you, he kept silent watching your face.
“y/n, it was so long ago… and believe me, I did you a favor” he said leaving one last kiss on you cheek “bye y/n. I'm afraid i'll see you soon.”
He opened the door before you could continue the conversation, what did he mean? as soon as he opened the door you two came face to face with Lizzie, less than two meters from the door, waiting impatiently. You avoided eye contact, guilty setting in this is wrong. she also lost a daughter, she doesn't deserve this.
“bye Tommy” you said and walked into de room, to where she couldn’t see you.
You felt confused, nervous even. You sat at your chair and all of the sudden, when you started to think about the past, about um you and Tommy, you started crying. You were sad, sad he was fucking dying now, just when you made contact. Why didn’t you do this before? Was it a smart choice to stay away? What if tou reached out would you guys be together? Could you be his alternative Lizzie? Do you want to be her? God you were so confused and it only seemed to get worse.
A good memory in your mind, made you smile as tears ran down you cheeks. You were taken back to the first time he took you to horseback riding, the two of you in one horse. Then you both spent the day together under a big tree, talking, laughing and making love. He was so caring and gentle before the war. Oh my god, y/n it’s been almost 15 years! Let it fucking go. He changed. Stop holding on to the past. You told yourself as you cleaned your tears with you hands. Maybe the Tommy you knew is still in there somehow… but you will never know. He is going to die and you will never know… and do you want to know?
Tags: @hellstears @randomfanfics02 @literishdegree99 @watersquirtpewpewboomm @hellstears @vesta-ro
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bearsbeetsbeskar · 7 months
Text
stupid personal life highschool bs drama?
idk if it is the fact that I am getting my period soon, or that there it gets dark by 6pm now, but I've been feeling so meh and low and unmotivated. for what feels like, absolutely no reason?
I'm dealing with personal drama from a best friend I have had since highschool (let's call her B), who has seen me through thick and thin, and it's honestly so draining. B and I have been saying for months that we are going to go visit my other highschool best friend who moved two hours away from us (let's call her S), (we're basically the three amigos). I have gone to visit 'S' many times before, made the drive up to go see her handful of times without 'B' because she was not available or always busy. well, I went to go visit 'S' this past weekend and posted on social media (cause it's my life and I can), and 'B' messaged me, basically attacking me and ripping me apart for going to visit our other friend.
For context, 'B' and I had last texted about going to visit this friend in August, and the dates just weren't working, the last message from B was suggesting 'what about October?' I didn't end up replying to that text cause, well, life happens. My mom started radiation and I was gearing up to begin grad school, so it was the furthest thing from my mind, and B and I texted about other things since then. When I posted the pics from my visit with S this past weekend, B called me out and texted me being like 'thanks for the invite, you know I wanted to go with you.' I got defensive because why is it my responsibility to keep messaging her and providing dates that don't work for her? I told her she doesn't have the right to make me feel bad about going to visit S, and that she could have also texted S about coming to visit her. Cue B calling me a bad friend, a bitch, condescending, telling me that I have my head in my ass and a bunch of other shit. To which I say, it isn't that serious?
She refused to see my point of view and kept going on her tirade, saying I was talking down to her like she was dumb or didn't know how to make plans of her own. I honestly don't know what got into her but she was acting psychotic. And I'm sick of getting the brunt of it and having to justify myself and my actions. We're all adults, we can make plans without needing approval from one another, like ?????
This is just a rant at this point but I'm pretty fucking hurt and upset that my so called friend from highschool days would go to such lengths to attack me. And by the sounds of it she doesn't regret lashing out like that. Anyone who knows me in my personal life knows that if you cross me, you'll never hear from me again, cause I don't do second chances and I absolutely do not hesitate to cut people off who have hurt me. I'll be really sad if a 12 year friendship ends over something so small and trivial as this but I'm at the point in my life where if you come at me with any sort of hostile energy you better prepare to deal with the other side of Nicole that comes out.
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tonberry-yoda · 1 year
Note
hello! hope you’re having an awesome day so far. hopefully requests for matchups are still open. if not, please disregard this LMAO 😂😭 also, i apologize if this is a bit too long—
i’d like a romantic matchup for the jjba fandom please! (i’ll take anyone from parts 1-6 except villains [but i’ll make an exception for la squadra tho, they’re the only villain squad in jjba i actually love LMAO])
i’m a filipino 18 year old (turning 19 next week as of writing this!), currently in my first year of college, studying pre-nursing. my pronouns are she/her, i identify as a female, and my sexuality is straight.
i have medium-length REALLY dark brown (it looks black but in light, you can see that it’s brown) hair with bangs, tan skin, and i wear glasses.
i’m pretty shy, quiet, and introverted around strangers. i usually prefer not to go up to someone and introduce myself; i’d rather have the person go up to me. but once we become friends and i slowly open myself up to you, i can be pretty talkative, outgoing, and a bit chaotic! (if you have at least on interest in common with me, i’m probably going to become friends with you almost immediately). i usually have no trouble meeting and sending messages to people on social media since no one can be able to sense how awkward and anxious i get (i’m like an introvert IRL, but an extrovert [?] online 😂)
within my close friend group and my cousins, they consider me to be the horniest one out of the bunch, simply because of my habit of frequently making dirty jokes and thirsty comments (altho this usually happens when i simp over my favorite anime characters HAHA). also, because of my habit of finding at least one new anime husband whenever i watch a new anime, my friends also call me the “double hushando worshipper” (weird, i know, but i like it 😂)
in my free time, i enjoy watching anime, reading manga, listening to music (my favorite genres are pop, j-pop, k-pop, dance-pop, and pop rock, but i’m down to listen to anything as long as it’s catchy!), eating, and collecting plushies (i definitely love cuddling them whenever i sleep). i’m in love anything considered cute and pastel. i’m also obsessed with the brand sanrio (the one who created hello kitty), and my favorite characters are cinnamoroll and gudetama. as suggested in my college major, i’d like to be a nurse in the future, but i’m also looking into other career options still pertaining in the medical field :D
when it comes to having a partner, i really want someone who’s kind, respectful, loyal, trustworthy, and understanding. i’m someone who prefers to stay in my comfort zone almost 90% of the time, so i’d like my partner to kinda push me out of that zone, while also not being over pushing. i can also get insecure and compare myself to others from time to time, so i’d appreciate it if my partner can make me feel good about myself. i love my family a whole lot, and i’d really want my partner to get along with them; i have a group of cousins who i’m extremely close with (i consider them like my siblings), so i’d especially love my partner to get along with them too! i’m lowkey touch-starved so i’d definitely like some affection from my partner (i don’t like an excessive amount of PDA tho, an arm around me or a small kiss is fine). i don’t mind if my partner buys me items, but i’d definitely be concerned if they spend way too much, like spare your wallet some mercy please 😭 (and i’d also feel kinda guilty if i don’t have the money/time to get my partner something in return).
hopefully this is enough! <333
omg hi!!!! first of all, happy late birthday!! <33333 second of all this took me a while. i was deciding between two men and FINALLY found the PERFECT MAN FOR YOU!! so without further ado...
the character I chose for you is...
JOSUKE HIGASHIKATA!!
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LIKE COME ON
HE'S YOUR MAN FRFR
he is definitely more extroverted than you, so he definitely walked up to you first
LIKE COME ON
HE'S YOUR MAN FRFR
he is definitely more extroverted than you, so he definitely walked up to you first
i know in my heart that this man can braid your hair
idk why i just feel it
so he does
a lot
i mean, he has gorgeous hair himself so he can really make your hair look stunning
when you and him text, it is pure chaos
you guys are so funny and cute and there are too many memes and way too many jokes
and lots of i love yous ofccc <333
it may seem like you are quiet around him sometimes to others, but josuke knows how loving and amazing of a partner you are <333
okay
you're both horny fr
like both really dirty jokes and random joking smirks from across the table at each other
it's chaos and everyone thinks you guys are hilarious
this man buys you stuffies all the time and then cuddles you and watches anime
you get him into a BUNCH of new anime
it's already canon that he's a huge manga nerd, but what if he just kept it at manga? what if he's not a huge anime watcher, but knows everything about the new animes that come out?
you get to watch the new episodes with him and see his reaction to his favorite manga scenes being fully animated
you and this man can eat for DAYS
like most of the time when you're hanging out, there are snacks involved
please give him sanrio and hello kitty pins to put on his jacket because gurl you know he's gonna wear em
and pull them off too
he loves your vibe
like the whole cutesy and pastel vibe
it's just cute and kinda awesome to him
plus the more stuffed animals, the more cuddles tee hee
he thinks it is so cool that you want to be a nurse
he has a stand that does the work for him and can heal people, but to see that you can do it without an ability has him admiring you forever
plus, with how sweet and amazing you are, of course you would do something so sweet to others and you just amaze him everyday
but dont stress yourself out! and if you ever do, he's got your back
he's always proud of you and can help you through any situation that you encounter with a hug and a kiss on the forehead
he definitely will more than respect your comfort zone, but will definitely encourage you to go on adventures with him and be his forever partner, even through the rough patches
he is more than respectful, trustworthy, and loyal to you and seriously cannot take his eyes off of you
you found yourself the most loving boyfriend who will always care for you, even if you two fight every now and again
also regarding PDA, he is completely understanding of your space in public, but will definitely be holding your hand or having his arm around your shoulder <3
he will definitely smother you in lots of love at home though and make your touch starvedness disappear, but always have you craving his hugs <3
this man loves your family and they love him
he's just so respectful and funny that it's hard not to love him
and he wants to be super close to your family because it helps him get even closer to you <3
and about the whole money thing...
sorry
this man has a problem
help him lmaoooo
but you definitely encourage him to calm down on the spending habits lol
you found yourself the perfect man <333
~~~~~
matchup rules --- pinned post
@tonberry-yoda
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ihni · 1 year
Note
I love your unadulterated joy in being in Fandom at 40! Happy Birthday! Let me tell you a not-so-secret secret- it doesn't go away. To give you a clue as to my age, I sat in front of the TV with a cassette player and recorded episodes of Star Trek, long before VHS tapes. I weep that I only found tumblr about 10 years ago. My people. Love you all in the ST Fandoms (Stranger Things and Star Trek)!
Thank you - this is a fantastic message to receive.
It makes me very happy to know that it won't go away (I didn't think it would, but conformation is nice!). I like it here, in fandom - it's a friendly, creative space with lots of people that I enjoy interacting with - so i definitely don't plan on giving up on it any time soon. On the contrary! I have found that the older I get, the less I care about what one is "supposed" to do, and about what people will think of me not doing it. It's very freeing feeling, and it only grows with time.
Thank you for sharing about your cassette recordings, that's awesome! I was just talking with a friend of mine today, and she told me that when she got a Walkman when she was a young teen, she recorded parts of her favorite shows onto it, so she could listen to them when she was out and about (we had VHS tapes by then, of course, but still). I think it's a very creative way to just do what we do best - take the things we love and Keep them, Cherish them and Bring them with us.
Tumblr really is a wonderful place for fandom. My second home. I did a survey recently, where they wanted opinions on internet habits of people in different age groups. They listed a whole bunch of websites and social media that I don't ever use or visit and asked how often one visits them, but Tumblr wasn't listed. I wonder what they think of my answers, when I stated I spend hours every day on social media, but almost never visit Facebook, instagram, twitter, snapchat, twitch (whatever that is), tiktok etc. Obviously they have not heard of our hellsite ...
Thank you again for your message, it made me smile. May we all live long, grow even older, and prosper. :)
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balladedutempsjadis · 8 months
Text
I saw Jawan today and ...
The last film I saw on a big screen was Ponniyin Selvan, Part 2, and before I went to see Jawan I had a talk with myself. "Self," I said, "although I don't know much about this movie, I know that it is not directed by one of India's greatest directors, nor is based on a classic series of novels, nor is the sequel to the previous film which had well-developed, memorable characters even in smaller roles, played by extremely good actors. So do not expect, Self, that this will give you the same kind of experience that the PS films did."
And with that said, no, this definitely didn't give me the same kind of experience but it was really fun to see one time in a theater with friends.
Big, big, VERY BIG ENORMOUS SPOILERS. Don't read if you haven't seen the film and you want to be unspoiled.
Much like my PS2 theatrical experience, I MISSED THE FIRST TEN MINUTES AGAIN, ARGH! I was counting on previews and they didn't have previews, I guess? However, I don't think I missed out on as much as I did by missing the first ten minutes of PS2.
There were lots of things I liked about Jawan, so I'm going to start with those:
The good:
It was fun seeing a bunch of South Indian actors like Priyamani and of course Nayanthara and Vijay Sethupathi. (More about them later.) Oh, and I did like the mini-Family Man reunion with Priyamani and the actress who plays her character's daughter Dhriti on that show :D (If only Manoj Bajpayee had been in this and/or Raj & DK had written the script, this would have been a different film altogether.)
SRK is very charming, but much more so in the second half when he was playing the much more age-appropriate Vikram Rathore. I'll get to why I liked Vikram Rathore more in the parts that I DISLIKED but I also loved that Vikram was very funny. (I always love when SRK is slightly taking the mickey out of himself which he did in the second half of the film. And I cracked up when he asked Suji if she was also his kid.) I would watch a whole entire movie of Vikram Rathore doing cool stuff.
I liked the girl gang concept a lot (I would have even liked it more if the boss had been Kaveri Amma and not SRK, but I don't think the movie would have ever been made if that were the case) and I liked all the individual actresses.
Nayanthara - she was fabulous as the task-force cop and looked so good doing action scenes. I love her.
Deepika Padukone - she's so gorgeous and I had some Om Shanti Om vibes with this, which is a movie that I really love. And the emotional parts were pretty good too.
While the political messaging was extremely heavy-handed, I did like that it came up in the movie, especially the part about voting. (When they stole the voting machines, I couldn't help but wonder if the scriptwriters had been listening to any of the insane election 2020 denialism in the US :P Was Hugo Chavez behind any of this? :P) However, maybe the script would have been tighter if they had targeted ONE social ill, instead of all of them?
Vijay Sethupathi - I will always just really like him whatever he's doing, because I'm like a duckling about movies and I imprint on actors based on what I first saw them in*, and I saw VJS in Farsi first, and loved him in that. SO ...
There was enough humor that I didn't feel like it was entirely taking itself seriously which is important in this kind of a film (though you didn't have to show people rolling around laughing to cue us to laugh, director Atlee!!) Let your script do its thing, dude! (Oh, wait, I forgot that the script was ... the script that it was. Which brings me to the bad):
The bad:
I'm sorry but the de-aging VFX for SRK was honestly a bit creepy - people drag Nayanthara for having work done, but I'll take her still-human face over the plastic-y face Azad. When he pulled the bald sock thing off his head, I really thought he was going to peel off his entire face and show "normally aged SRK" but nope!
I just threw up my hands and laughed when they discovered Deepika was pregnant just by taking her pulse. Why do they even make pregnancy tests, am I right? And I don't know about India, but surely they would have you know, taken her blood group etc. when she was first incarcerated?
Which brings me to my VAST apology to all Tamil movies in which I have shaken my head in disbelief that a man who repeatedly has his head whacked with a metal bar or banged into a concrete pillar doesn't even have a concussion, let alone a skull fracture. No, compared to Jawan, you are all PINNACLES of realism! Because SRK was shot five times, thrown out of an airplane that was above the cloudline, fell into a body of water and didn't break any bones, AND banged his head on a rock and apparently just suffered some slight amnesia. Um, ok then! (I think the part where the dude finds him and says he's keeping his promise to Azad might have been in the first ten minutes that I missed, so maybe there's some explanation for why he didn't die - but for now, I just have to assume he was the incarnation of Grigorii Rasputin. And I will almost certainly never watch this movie a second time, so it will just have to remain a mystery unless someone can explain to me in the comments or something.
The music was completely forgettable. There wasn't a single song that I can even remember the tune of, nothing catchy, no memorable lyrics etc. That WAS disappointing.
Random new subplots that made NO SENSE. Like what was the whole thing about stealing the elections with mafia money? Why was that even in there? And if it had to be in there, why didn't the SRKs just leave him to the mercy of those people who would have murdered him inventively for losing their money? And if they just wanted SRKs to kill him the way he got Aishwarya killed, then why include that subplot? None of that subplot made any sense at all. (Actually very little of that plot made any sense.)
Another thing was the women's jail/rest home. If that is prison, I am surprised more people weren't clamoring to be incarcerated. It looked much nicer than living on a farm. It was super clean and they seemed to have a ton of freedom even before Azad became the warden.
The way Nayanthara was completely sidelined in the second half. I also have no idea why she decided to marry SRK after five minutes. (And they totally stole her costumes in Chaliye from the Kannala Kannala song in "Thani Oruvan" - a far, far better song than any of the songs in Jawan. (See below)
youtube
So all in all, I did enjoy the film and I'm glad I saw it, despite its flaws. But this is not a rewatch for the nuances type of film!
*Kay Kay Menon, Tabu, and Shahid Kapoor fan for life because I first saw them in Haider. Which is definitely the best movie Shahid Kapoor has ever made, but Farzi was really excellent too and Shahid and Kay Kay were in it alongside VJS. Watch eeeeeeet!
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Time is a social construct pt. 18
Mandalorian Time Travel AU
Summary: Din is trying his best, ok? But between trying to find a teacher for his magic kid and learning there were other Mandalorians who follow a different creed, Din is very confused and lost. So when he ends up on a plant that his HUD says is Manda’yaim and encounters two teens on the run from a group of dar’mandas called Death Watch, Din figures he may as well help them. He never meant to adopt them. Or become Mand’alor.
TW: semi-graphic description of a seizure (from "Suddenly, Fett's arm" to "Yes, very hurt he is") and discussion of drug use/withdrawal (from "Did she say what was going on" to "Obi-wan frowned")
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           “Who?” was the first thing that came out of Din’s mouth. “Why?” quickly followed suit.
         “He was the leader of the True Mandalorians, maybe five years ago before- well, I don’t know the details, but a bunch of them were killed, and Fett disappeared,” Satine explained, becoming more frantic. Din was out of his room, Grogu in his arms.
         “Ok, udesii ad’ika, I’m on my way,” Din said, mind racing with situations. “Did he say he wants to talk to me?”
         “No, no, he just said he wants to speak to ‘the Mando’ad who’s been chained to my side,'” Satine said. “He doesn’t seem happy. He doesn’t like me.”
         “Ok, don’t go near him until I get there. Are you alone?” Din was practically running, the few people in the halls moving quickly out of his way.
         “No, Master Jinn and Yoda are with me; Master Dooku and Obi-wan are with Bo just inside.”
         “Ok, I’m almost there.”
         Din slowed to a quick walk when he reached the doors leading to the hanger. Din handed Grogu to Obi-wan. Dooku looked more constipated than usual.
         “You kill his family too?” Din asked sarcastically, still not a fan of the man. Dooku flinched, and honestly, Din shouldn’t have been surprised. Once a demagolka, always a demagolka- though this is a bit backward, Din supposed. Din scoffed and shook his head.
         “I’m coming with you!” Bo-Katan stated, squaring herself up. Din looked down at her, noticing the knife on her belt.
         “Stay behind me, be quiet, and at the first sign of a fight, run inside,” Din laid out his conditions, and Bo-Katan agreed after a moment because Din was leaving and would make her stay if she didn’t agree. So Din marched into the hangar, with Bo-Katan as his shadow. Jinn and Yoda flanked Satine, and she was hiding any fear that Din had heard when she called him. Across the hanger was a fully outfitted Mandalorian in blue-lined silver armor. The Mando, who Din assumed was Fett, was standing as if he’d be attacked any second, which wasn’t really how New Mandalorians worked. Din wondered how the man got into the city because he clearly wasn’t expected, so he hadn’t registered. And he clearly hadn’t given his weapons up, and Din noticed as he watched Fett fingering one of his blasters in its holster. Fett had perked up at Din’s appearance, but Din didn’t acknowledge the man, choosing to stand with Satine. Jinn moved to the side so Din could be next to Satine.
         Satine looked at Bo-Katan, lips flattening with her displeasure, but she didn’t comment on it. In a low voice, Din asked, “Are you ok?”
         Satine tried to give Din a small smile. “He hasn’t done anything except demand you.”
         “Seems hurt, he does,” Yoda added. “In the Force, pain there is.”
         Din grunted in acknowledgment. “Don’t know why he wants me.”
         “You are at my side frequently,” Satine said. “I’ve received messages from more traditional groups questioning this and what it means about my opinions. Perhaps as the once leader of the True Mandalorians, Fett feels he must investigate himself.”
         “And he couldn’t have just written a comm like everyone else?” Bo-Katan complained, even as Din saw her eye Fett’s armor in interest.
         Satine winced. “I probably would’ve brushed off any comms as fake. No one’s heard from him in over five years.”
         Fett seemingly got impatient and began striding over to their group. Din noticed that he favored his left side ever so slightly, giving weight to Yoda’s words. Din shifted to cover Satine more but still left the girl in the position to negotiate because chances are Din wouldn’t be able to help Fett with whatever his issue was. Unless he wanted a fight because Din could do that. Fett stopped two meters in front of them, and the man made a show of sizing Din up.
         “Ser Fett,” Satine greeted pleasantly after Fett didn’t say anything, “It is good to have you here- there were rumors that you had died. I am glad to see they are not true.”
         Fett scoffed, but Satine admirably didn’t waver. “I’m sure,” the man drawled, voice scratchier than Din thought it would be. “When I saw that you had armor and a ver’gebuir, I just had to see it myself.”
         “Yes, well, now that you’ve seen him, is there another reason you are here?” Satine prompted. “Surely the Haat Mando’ade would want to meet with you.”
         Fett shrugged, an interesting response- had the man not bothered meeting with the people he’d led before coming to the palace? Apparently not, if the man’s refusal to answer was any clue.
         “Figured you had a change of heart,” Fett said. “But these Jetiise would prove otherwise.” The man had all but spat the word, every inch of him dripping with his distaste. He brushed over his blaster again. Satine opened her mouth to defend the Jetii, but Yoda bet her to it.
         “Hurt you and your people, we have,” Yoda said sagely with a slow nod, ears dipped low. “A tragedy, Galidraan was. Understandable, your distrust of us is. Take it out on the Duchess, you should not. Mandalorians, you both are.”
         Fett scoffed, fist clenching. Din got the impression that he was glaring at the old Jetii. “How could someone who advocates for banning everything at the heart of our culture be a Mandalorian? Or are you just a hypocrite?”
         That’s it; Din was going to punch the man. Likely sensing Din’s intent, Satine rested a hand on his arm.
         “I believe that a change in one’s opinions does not make one a hypocrite,” Satine said evenly, shocking Fett if the way he reared back was an indication. Din was slightly surprised by the declaration. Sure, he had noticed the changes in Satine’s attitude but hadn’t been expecting any sort of recognition of those changes, especially not when her leadership position was not completely set. Did Din think a teenager should be leading in this sort of capacity? No, but Satine was handling it as well as expected.
         “Some say it is a sign of the strength of one’s character,” Jinn added unnecessarily. Why was the man here? Fett had made it clear that he wasn’t a fan of the Jetii, and apparently, the Jedi knew why so one would think they’d tried to limit their presence around the man.
         “Ok, sure,” Fett said dismissively as he slowly rolled his right shoulder back. The man wasn’t fully able to hide his wince at the movement. Jinn stepped forward as if to help, but Fett tensed and fell halfway to a fighting stance.
         Satine frowned. “Are you hurt, Ser Fett? We would be happy to help in that case.”
         “I don’t need your help,” Fett hissed, taking a step away from Jinn.
         “Then why come here?” Din couldn’t help asking. It was a question everyone was dancing around. Maybe there was some political reason for it, but politics and the subtleness of words were not Din’s forte. Something told him Fett was probably the same way- it seemed many Mandalorians were.
         “Like I said, I was curious,” Fett said, which was definitely not the entire truth. “Especially since I don’t remember any clan with that signet.” Fett gestured to the Mudhorn on Din’s shoulder. “At least not in the Haat Mando’ade.”
         “I am not a Haat Mando’ad,” Din said. “I am, well, I’m just a Mandalorian.” Din could’ve mentioned that he was a Child of the Watch, but Din had no interest in what would happen if the man connected that to Death Watch.
         “So you don’t affiliate with any faction?” Fett sounded curious, head tipped to the side. “And yet you guard the leader of the faction probably farthest from your own beliefs.” He sounded angry as if it was a heinous act- protecting an ad who couldn’t defend herself. Maybe whatever had hurt Fett had included his head. Perhaps that would explain the man’s weird behavior. And the fact that Fett was starting to sway slightly.
         “Ser Fett, I insist you let one of our baar’ur look you over,” Satine interjected, concern evident in her tone. She must have noticed Fett swaying.
         “I don’t need the help of an aruetti!” Fett lashed out. His chest was heaving, and his hands shook as he reached for his blasters. Din fully stepped in front of Satine and Bo-Katan, grabbed his blaster, and had it trained on Fett before the man could remove his blaster from its holster. Din’s blaster was set on stun as per Satine’s request.
         “Ne nari!” Din barked. “Gaanse laam!”
         Fett growled and looked at something past Din. Unexpectedly, Fett lunged towards Din, hands out, and angled like he was going to try and get past Din. Din shot the man, and Fett collapsed on the ground in a heap of beskar. Din’s shoulders were tense, and it felt too quiet. Slowly, Din stepped up to Fett, keeping his blaster trained on the unconscious man. Din rolled the man on his back and checked Fett’s pulse with two fingers on his neck. Din wasn’t a baar’ur, but it felt like Fett’s heart was racing.
         “What happened?” Obi-wan’s voice startled Din. He looked back and saw that Obi-wan and Dooku had entered the hangar. While Dooku was focused on Fett, Obi-wan was looking between Din, Satine, and Jinn.
         “I-I don’t know,” Satine said, sounding shaken. She had pulled Bo-Katan to her side. “He just snapped.”
         Suddenly, Fett’s arm jerked, causing Din to leap back and raise his blaster. But Fett wasn’t waking up. Instead, his limbs were tensed and shaking.
         “He’s seizing!” Obi-wan exclaimed, handing Grogu off to Satine to rush to Fett’s side. “Get a medic! Ser Fett, can you hear me? We’re going to take your helmet off, ok?”
         Din dropped next to Obi-wan and helped the Padawan pull Fett’s buy’ce off, no matter how uncomfortable it made Din. Din turned Fett on his side as Obi-wan took off and folded up his cloak under Fett’s head, narrating all his actions. Din then worked on undoing the clasps for Fett’s hal’cabur and ghet’bur. Yoda stepped forward and rested a hand on Fett’s forehead; eyes closed in concentration. Din could hear Satine talking into her comm, urging a baar’ur to come with haste. Din scanned Fett’s face. The man’s skin was paled and gaunt, bags under his eyes dark. There were barely healed cuts and bruises littering his face. Fett’s seizing slowed and eventually stopped, but the man didn’t wake up. Yoda looked concerned when he opened his eyes.
         “Yes, very hurt, he is.” Yoda sounded solemn. Grogu squeaked, and Din stood up to gather his son in his arms, pulling Satine and Bo-Katan in for good measure. The baar’ure rushed into the hanger. They all watched quietly as they fussed over the unconscious man, lifting him onto a stretcher.
         “Duchess?” One medic asked, stopping in front of them as the others pulled Fett away. “Do you need any medical assistance?”
         “No,” Satine answered with a shake of her head. “We are all unharmed. Please keep me updated on Ser Fett’s condition.” The baar’ur nodded and left.
         “What’s next?” Din asked quietly. Satine had her thinking face one.
         “I think the first order of business is to contact the True Mandalorians and tell them their Mand’alor has returned. After that-“ Satine shrugged. “Wait for Fett to wake up.”
         “And get first meal,” Obi-wan added. Grogu cooed in agreement.
         “Meditate, I think I will,” Yoda said, looking over to Dooku. The man looked distinctly uncomfortable. “Join me, will you, Master Dooku?”
         It took Dooku a minute to respond, but the man eventually nodded. “Yes. I have much to think about.”
         “Yeah, like what Fett’s problem is,” Bo-Katan grumbled, pulling away from Din and Satine to glare at the spot where Fett had collapsed. “And how you pulled your blaster so fast.”
         The second part had been directed at Din, admiration in Bo-katan’s eyes. Din rested his free hand on her shoulder. “Maybe another time, verd’ika. Obi-wan was right; first meal is a good idea.” Grogu cooed again, smacking Din’s chest to get his point across. “I’d also like to hear about whatever happened at Galidraan.”
         The Jedi looked uncomfortable at it, but Din refused to walk into this situation without the whole story. He’d done hunts like that before, and they were always more likely to end in disaster.
         “I will tell you,” Jinn offered. “Obi-wan wasn’t at the Temple at the time, so he may not recall it all.”
         Obi-wan looked confused for a moment before understanding dawned on him. The wince on his face signaled that whatever he was doing hadn’t been pleasant. Din filed that information away for later. One traumatic occurrence at a time- that was Din’s policy.
         It was a somber first meal as Jinn recounted the disaster that was Galidraan as everyone ate. Din was sipping on the smoothie that the kitchen staff had started to make for him so he could be at meals and still eat. As Jinn went on, Din began to understand Fett’s hatred of Jetii and why the armor had told him that Jetii had been their enemy. Weren’t Jedi meant to be more perceptive? Why had the Jedi attacked the True Mandalorians right away? Where was the due justice, the investigation?
         When Din had voiced his questions, Jinn had shaken his head. “I could not tell you. Those are questions for Master Dooku?”
         It took a minute for Din to connect that to how Dooku had reacted to Din’s scathing remark earlier. “Should’ve shot him when I had the chance,” Din murmured as he handed Grogu a piece of dried food.
         “It was hardly entirely his fault,” Jinn scolded, though whatever effect it was supposed to have was lost on Din. “However, it is well known that the…outcome was likely preventable.”
         “We learn about it in conflict negotiation classes,” Obi-wan added, a distant look in his eyes. Grogu waddled across the table and sat next to Obi-wan. They all tried to make small talk, but after such a heavy story, it fell flat. Eventually, Satine stood up to excuse herself, and Din tried to follow. But she insisted the Din take some time off, that she’d be fine making the call by herself. Plus, she pointed out that she would have to meet with her advisors and councilors, and Din didn’t like them. Obi-wan invited Din to join Jinn as they practiced their katas. Din decided it was a good time to continue Bo-katan’s training. And if he managed to convince Obi-wan to spar with her so Obi-wan would get more hand-to-hand practice, then it would be a successful practice.  
         Just as they were winding down, Din received a comm from Satine.
         Please meet me in the Medbay. Obi-wan can show you where it is. Please don’t let Bo come.
         Din sent an affirmative, explaining the situation to the group. Bo-Katan wasn’t a fan of the plan, but Jinn sated her with the offer to teach her some Jetii katas. The girl was so eager to learn, so she accepted. With Grogu secure in his arms, Obi-wan and Din set off to the Medbay.
         “Did she say what was going on?” Obi-wan asked. Din shook his head. Obi-wan hummed in thought. “I can’t tell if he’s awake. Though I doubt it, the combination of the stun blaster and Spice withdrawal will probably have him out for a while.”
         “Spice withdrawal?” Din asked, but it was more rhetorical. Din had seen his fair share of addicts; it came with the territory of stalking the underworlds of various planets. The tremors, mood swings, and pale and gaunt skin were all hallmarks of a Spice user experiencing withdrawal. The seizure was likely a combination of the withdrawal and the stun. Din felt a moment of guilt, knowing he had added to Fett’s issue. “So he disappeared for five years after his people were killed to go on a Spice bend?”
         Obi-wan frowned and shook his head. “I don’t think so. It wouldn’t explain his limp or the….” Obi-wan trailed off.
         “The what?” Din gently prodded as they stopped in front of the Medbay.
         “The scars around his neck,” Obi-wan finally said, haunted eyes looking up at Din. “They were from a slave collar.”
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Mando'a translations: ver'gebuir: bodyguard (lit: hired guardian) baar'ur: medic aruetti: traitor Ne nari: Don't move Gannse laam: hands up Hal'cabur: chest plate ghet'bur: neck armor
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sumi-sprite · 1 year
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Number 4 for the Choose Violence ask game
4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?
Oof. It was actually two people on the same day. Extremely recently, like, maybe three days ago?
First was someone I have blocked before but un-blocked after a while because it wasn't like they were mean or anything, just wouldn't fucking leave me alone about updates on one of my fics for about FIVE YEARS. Dude, I already warned you and others about not fucking bugging me about that shit, I don't care if it was five years ago, I don't care we talk like, once a month or something (we weren't even friends wtf) the rule still applies you. You would think the NUMEROUS PSAs, PMs, updates on my life being too busy for fic stuff, etc would have been enough (again, over the course of FIVE YEARS), but apparent-fucking-ly not! I don't care if you "love" this fic so much you just "can't help it", get a life. Christ.
Second was someone here on Tumblr. Fandom talk, extremely awkward, great art though I will admit! But they were in a very angsty teen phase (they told me they were 21, which I did not believe for a second) with a very unhealthy obsession and equally unhealthy desire to see doom and gloom; they're that person that begs for hope in the darkness but the moment it's presented, they reject it because clearly whining and crying over the Big Sadness is the better option. Like, they apparently genuinely had full breakdowns because of a children's book series and one other movie and its ending. Told them over and over again I was sorry these things made them feel so bad, maybe step away from these things?? Buuut no, they're a clear masochist and I was getting low key sick of it but didn't want to be outright mean to them. Got on the topic of the movie (9) and out of curiosity, I went and rewatched it (I hadn't seen it since it came out in I think 2009?) and gave my opinion. Dude had another fit when I mentioned the ending of the film was rather good and pretty satisfying, but apparently that wasn't the responce they wanted. Bruh threw a bitch fit because apparently a bunch of steampunk ragdolls from a fictional B- movie were worth crying over. I made to reply but noticed the text bar wasn't letting me (I think they turned off messages, I don't think they blocked me because I could still see our message history and I could see their blog) so I said fuck it and blocked them. They also had a weird habit of using asterisks unironically, for example :*looks down* like...full stop.
If you're reading this person mentioned above, seek help or cut the bullshit. It's not cute, we're not in a fucking anime, this is not how you interact with people. This is coming from a socially anxious and awkward autistic person. Seek help.
I lost my sense of smell to COVID two weeks ago, and yet I can still smell and taste the bullshit, and it is PUTRID coming off these two.
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hydnes · 1 year
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Not previous anons
I really think you should just pack up and move blogs at this point. It's stupid that you're being harassed but if you want it to stop then you gotta move accounts and let NO ONE follow you there in case they leak your new socials (though I full heartedly believe that you shouldn't have to be the one to do it, it's your ex that should be fucking stopping)
honestly this is very kind of you to message, i do appreciate the concern, but she has my physical address and could either show up at my house or doxx me, so. yeah. this blog and what i say on it is the least of my concerns here
i'd rather she feel satisfied with what she sees on here and feel a fake sense of proximity to my ongoings through what i choose to post, because i just know if i suddenly vanish she is without a doubt (worst-case scenario mind you) going to show up at my house or start doing invasive shit like emailing me (again...)
and honestly i'd also just lose a bunch of people who'd listen to me when it comes to me speaking out if i just uprooted myself. on top of that i'm too obvious of a person. the second i start talking about windir on this hypothetical new account it is over for me
again i appreciate the concern and you having reached out with a potential solution but i've thought about all my options and what i'm doing currently seems to have not gotten me murdered yet so i'm sticking with it
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Did Social Media Improve Our Lives, Or Ruin Them?
I had a recent experience with dating apps...wait, what am I saying?  I have had approximately seven billion experiences with dating apps.  It’s just that I use the term “experience” loosely.  Generally on an app, my experience goes something like this:
*I like a bunch of profiles, write a bunch of messages, change pictures, and do a number of other things for a few hours
*Absolutely nothing happens
*Rinse and repeat
That’s more of a “me” problem, but...I’ve been thinking about some things.  First of all, a dating app is essentially a hybrid between social media and romance.  I could write and write about the value of going outside and talking to that one person we have known since childhood, or destiny, or in-person human interaction, but I would be doing so on Tumblr.  Take everything I write with a grain of salt, dating apps are efficient.
I think there’s a lot to be said about how, on a dating app, when you swipe one way you’re saying, “Hey, I like you.  I think we may have a future together.“  I imagine various scenes in Everything, Everywhere, All At Once.  Imagine if instead of taking place in one building, the entire movie was just one character in a room.  It would just be her swiping, and maybe everything else would be hypotheticals of the life she’d live with other people if she’d swiped a certain way, or used a different emoji in the third message.
Pretty boring movie, right?
Only, real life isn’t THAT different.  If you went to a coffee shop in another hour, maybe you’d never meet.  If you decided not to go to that one party, maybe you’d never meet.  If nothing else, apps increase the probability.  You get a window to talk, and the app pushes you together.  Certain things are active, and certain things are determined by the all-knowing, ever-mysterious algorithm.
A lot of the things programmers have built are not that different from that dating app.  The app makes money a certain way, generally by a paid tier, and so it tries to get people to pay.  For the longest time, websites like Facebook simply tried to maximize time people spend on the site in order to increase revenue via data-selling.
And now Medium.  Your jokes, your sadness, your writing...money.  Easy.  The more attention YOU GET, the more money you make.  It’s like they were on the same team as Facebook, but they got so lazy that they thought...hey...why don’t we give the USERS such a small cut of the pie that they become the ones in sales?
So why do we do it?
Well, for starters, money.  But there’s something harder to describe, even though I think everyone is aware of it.  Humans crave acceptance, and humans crave validation.  It’s why it can feel so devastating when that match of two months un-matches (though many would say keeping a match for that long is a mistake), or that girlfriend of 2 years sends a single break-up text.
When you put something out there that’s yours, completely yours, it feels like anyone who “likes” it is saying...”Yes, I see you.  I understand you and I approve of you.“  The best thing you can get is that “follow” notification.  That says, “I want to get to know you better.  You are someone I want to know.“
I have similar thoughts about the church and how it draws people in using the device of acceptance, but that’s a topic for another day.
And so...there it is.  Here I am, rambling on this blog with thoughts like that instead of talking to someone about them.  People will read it, MAYBE, and maybe some will think wtf is this and move on with their lives, but out there SOMEONE will read this and it will resonate.
And if that happens, I get the little indication that someone SEES ME.
*****
In conclusion, there is no conclusion.
See you guys on Medium.  Coming up is “8 reasons to date a computer programmer,” but on second thought maybe you shouldn’t because a few of them are responsible for that god-forsaken madness called dating apps.
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