#sorry I needed to get this out of my system before I suffer again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wonijinjin · 6 months

Text

enhypen members with a s/o who has migraines

author’s note: i don’t really get headaches, but many of my friends do so this may be inaccurate, but i still hope it gives you comfort

synopsis: what the title says

word count: 1.3k | genre: fluff, comfort | pairings: enhypen members x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of migraines, throwing up, fainting, food, diets

“baby, you in here? why is it so dark?” heeseung asked upon stepping into your beroom; curtains closed, lamp swithced off and you in bed greeted him. you explained that you had a migraine, voice strained and tired. “i am sorry to hear that you are suffering. tell me, how can i help you, my love?” he would ask with a sad face and would run around the house, doing everyting in his power to make your pain more bearable.

- he would be quite worried about your condition since he has never seen you be in this much pain, so the first time it happens he would be a little lost in how to help, hence why he would he following orders like a robot

- would get all the fuzzy blankets and wrap you up because he believes that sleep can solve everything

- bonus points for being great at humming sweet melodies to you so you could sleep more easily since the silence was too loud for you to deal with

jay knew something was wrong when he heard your whimpers in the middle of the night; when he saw you cluthing your head in pain he didn’t hesitate to pull you into his hold. “it’s happening again sweetheart? i am so sorry, i wish i could take it away.” he would kiss your temple, trying to rock you back into sleep so maybe the migraine would pass during the night.

- hubby material, he would research how to help after you told him that you get migrains easily, so when it happened for the first time boy was prepared, hot water bottles and painkillers in the nightstand cabinet ready

- makes you drink lots of water throughout the day because it helps with circlation and more oxygen getting into your brain so it passes quicker

- bonus points to him for massaging your scalp for long periods of time to give you some relief, even if his hands are already tired

when jake got a call that you had fainted thanks to your migraine he got really worried really fast, picking you up right away. “sweetie, shouldn’t we go to the doctors? your headaches seem to get so severe, i don’t think this is normal.” he would suggest while helping you sit down as soon as the two of you got home. when you said this was fine and this had happened before he got even more upset, swearing that he would be by your side every time this happened.

- like hee he is a bit of a clueless puppy aswell, needs you to tell him how these things work at the beginning, but after that he is the best nurse ever

- finds out eating a certain type of vitamins can help with the frequency of the migraines, and takes precautions by reminding you to eat them from time to time

- bonus points to him for ordering your favourite food when you are in pain, so at least you have a filled stomach (he thinks being hungry worsens the symptoms)

at first hoon doesn’t know you have a migraine since he finds you throwing up in the bathroom and thinks you have caught a bug. “oh pretty, at least you are not sick, it will pass soon, i know it.” he holds you after talking to you about the real cause, rocking you back and forward. he takes you back to bed and gives you painkillers to ease the discomfort, then would pour out water in a cup and some crackers in a bowl so you could refill the lost nutritions in your system.

- he has had migraines in the past so boy knows how exhausting they can be, making him the perfect boyfriend to treat you, being silent so he doesn’t disrupt you further

- he would be jumping around to provide the best circumstances to your rest, putting a cool pack on your head and elevating your legs so you get more oxygen flowing to your head

- bonus points for calling his mom to help him cook something for you to surprise you

sunoo was cuddling with you when he sensed how your muscles tensed in his hold, and how his shirt got wet by tears spilling from your eyes. “sunshine, does something hurt anywhere? tell me where it hurts so i can kiss it better.” he would whisper to you softly. upon you showing him silently how your head was the source of the prolem he placed a soft kiss onto the crown of your head, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

- he is a very bubbly boy, and his emotions can always be read from his face so he is on full sulky mode, he might not be the most useful person to help you at first as he is occupied by being upset since his baby is in pain

- he is even more gentle with you while your migraines are active, so scared to even touch you because he is worried that he would do more harm to you

- bonus points to him for making a bubble bath for you and doing a skincare night aswell to pamper you a bit after your symptoms get better

when jungwon got a call from you that you couldn’t make it to the dinner date because you had a bad migraine he was immediately on his way to give you all his love. “cutie, i got you some ice cream, a bit of a cool treat for your migraine.” he giggled while he searched for you under the covers. “i will make sure my cutie has everything they need to make this bad headache go away, alright? so just tell me what you need.” he whispered while rubbing your back as you curled up into his warmth.

- he is very understanding regarding having to postpone programs and he is naturally worried about you more than a simple reservation

- tries to make you laugh to forget about pain by making silly jokes and showing you cute videos of cats on youtube (which works most of the time and brings you to a discussion about how he is just like a cute cat, you even forgetting that the migraine existed)

- bonus points to him for getting you the ice cream mentioned above along with many sweets even if you say you are on a diet

riki noticed how your movements were a bit sluggish compared to how you were very energetic every time you were in the practice room with him. “babe, are you okay? you seem to be under the weather. is it just one of those days?” he asked while capturing you in a bear hug from behind. when he found out your head was starting to hurt he ran to stop the music and tried to get you to sit down right way. “i have medicine in my bag, let’s get one in you with a little water, okay?”

- he is a baby himself, but he is a responsible person so his top priority would be getting you into a comfortable position as soon as you drink and eat something

- he would let you rest on him (which is rare snce is isn’t the clingiest on a regular day) and when you fell asleep he would silently whisper to whoever is above to stop your pain

- bonus points to him for having your migraine medication with him in a little pouch after the first time you get one in front of him, and reminding you to take some in advance if there’s a big change in weather or you have to work a lot in a short period of time to prevent them

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54625 · 4 months

Text

With the upcoming Fit lore later today, I figured it may be useful to transcribe his earlier lore drops for those of you who may not have been there, or want a refresher. These were attempts to contact the contractor to relay information, and happened before the dreams.

-First attempt-

(Text appears on screen.

CONNECTING...

BYPASSING FEDERATION FIREWALL

ATTEMPT FAILED

ERROR)

Fit- Hello, it's me.

Fit- Sorry I've been taking my sweet time.

Fit- I've been busy...

Fit- We need to pivot from our original plan.

Fit- I've adopted a son, and I've been caring for him.

Fit- I've grown attached to him, so he's been my priority.

Fit- Being a single dad is a challenge at times.

Fit- But it's much easier than the nomadic lifestyle.

Fit- Life here is very different from the wasteland.

Fit- But I haven't forgotten our agreement.

Fit- I will fullfil my contractual obligations.

Fit- They're still falling for the whole "vacation" thing.

Fit- I ask that you be patient though, as we have a problem.

Fit- Something called "The Federation" controls this entire island.

Fit- They've been keeping us here.

Fit- As long as they are in the way, I can't access what you are looking for.

Fit- And the anti-cheat on the island is strong.

Fit- I haven't been able to use my abilities.

Fit- The Federation must be eliminated for this to succeed.

Fit- I've gained everyone's trust and made friends...

Fit- I've been helping their fight against the Federation in order to advance our plan.

Fit- Still... It hurts me to see everyone suffering...

Fit- Some have lost things they cared about...

Fit- But this struggle is an unfortunate necessity...

Fit- The conflict is increasing the value of what you seek...

Fit- I know you're paying me...

Fit- But have you considered......

...the true cost?

Fit- regardless of my personal feelings, I'll slowly move the plan forward.

Fit- I hope you find what you're looking for.*

Fit- It's getting late...*

MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND

Disconnecting....

*(it is worth noting that these are messages Fit had previously sent in the Minecraft global chat in that odd font.)

-Second attempt-

(Text appears on screen.

CONNECTING...

BYPASSING FEDERATION FIREWALL)

Fit- Checking in.

Fit- I am messaging you again to keep you updated on my progress.

Fit- The Federation still has full control of the island.

Fit- They've been putting on some strange election....

Fit- I'm assuming to keep everyone occupied.

Fit- However, it seems they've let a vulnerability slip.

Fit- Player data and statistics are being tracked.

Fit- The Federation must have this data stored somewhere on the island.

Fit- If I had to guess, it's likely the computer system of the Federation offices.

Fit- If I tried to break in and access the data, they would likely capture me...

Fit- It would not end well.

Fit- However, whoever wins this election will likely have open access.

Fit- Perhaps they could be persuaded... Or tricked into giving us access.

Fit- I will fullfil the contract.

Fit- And yet... I'm starting to wonder....

Fit- What are you actually trying to achieve?

Fit- Even if I can access the data, what good would it do?

Fit- I'm skeptical, but I hope to hear from you soon........

(This island...... Is worse than I thought....)

(Text appears on screen.

Windows XP

Task failed successfully.

[OK] )

(A cinematic showing various scenes from QSMP and 2B2T play. All the images from the former are in full colour, while all the images from the latter are in black and white. A video of a capybara eating grass plays. It is in black and white.)

If I left anything particularly important out, let me know!

#qsmp #qsmp fitmc #fitmc #qsmp ramon #qsmp fit #qsmp lore

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turnertable · 11 months

Note

I’m suffering the post-concert blues from a festival I didn’t even physically attend, only through a TV (Glastonbury of course!) and was wondering if I could put in a request for just some general fluff between Alex and the reader after his show with the monkeys at glasto this year? Maybe reader being just extremely proud and some tired but cute as fuck fluffiness. I’m not great with actually putting my ideas into words and describing them, sorry! Hope you understand what I’m on about <3

written by meee, first fic. sorry if it's shit

warnings: none, just silly sick Alex fluff

word count: 2k

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Sick Day at Glastonbury

(Alex Turner x Reader) (the car era !)

(gif credit to @alexturner )

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The final chords of R U Mine? buzzed across the field of Worthy Farm, Somerset and Alex finally breathed out after all the excitement of the Glastonbury Festival. "Third time's a charm." Alex said under his breath as he did his bows and blew the kisses like usual, turning to his bandmates to leave the stage with a smile. His voice was on the brink of collapse but the attention was enough to make him want to do it all over again.

At the side of the stage, stood her. His pride and joy, the one person he needed to prove himself worthy to still, to impress. Even with the mirrorball right there, somehow she glowed brighter. Y/N could hardly contain her excitement as she cheered him on at this final hurrah, like she hadn't been screaming his name after every song as a measure of her pride in the band. The anticipation of seeing each other again was magnetic and it only took a few steps.

As the Monkeys left the stage, Y/N offered a soft smile and congratulations to Jamie, Matt and Nick, her voice hoarse from the screaming which the boys could understand and offered her hugs before running off to their girls desperately. Y/N loved Alex to the ends of the earth but dating a lead singer did mean you were left at the side of the stage the longest because he was always the one to cue the lights to go down, this was almost a game to see how long he'd take at each gig she attended. Eventually, Alex got off the stage and smiled so wide at the sight of her, running over and picking her up excitedly.

"Babeh!" He chuckled a bit at his excitement as she clung to him. "We did it!" His voice was getting hoarse since he was supposed to be on vocal rest. Y/N pulled him for a kiss to shut him up which Alex of course didn't mind, it was the only polite way to keep him quiet.

She got down and looked at him like he was a god, noticing his messy hair after and giggling. "Al, you look like a lion" She tried to tame it slightly but it was too far gone plus he looked too cute to try to amend perfection. He smiled back like she was an angel before him and shrugged.

"You seem t' like it tho.." Alex hummed as he wrapped an arm around her waist, attempting to lead her backstage so they could both rest after all the raucous. She smiled and looked down, nodding, "perhaps…" as she followed Alex back to the dressing room, letting him rub her side as the crowd became quieter and quieter.

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Alex opened the door and held it for Y/N, "Ladies first, me love." Y/N slightly swooned at his gentlemanly moves. Even if she was used to his actions, the looks and gravitas of Alex Turner would forever be a shock of her system. She waltzed in and essentially fell onto the sofa from the exhaustion of jumping around for 2 hours, making Alex chuckle softly at the sight.

"You ok, babeh?" He sat on the arm of the chair, coughing as his voice squeaks due to the laryngitis he was facing; frankly the fact he even went out on stage was a feat for only the best. Y/N offered him a sympathetic look and a nod, mumbling out a small "tired." with a whine.

As they shared a moment of mutual sympathy, Alex attempted to pull Y/N to sit up gently so she could lay in his lap from the sofa as he rested his voice, just so she knew that he was there for her, even if he couldn't say it. Y/N complied and Alex's hand found it's way into her hair to softly stroke it as he looked down at her with awe and love. She was his, the muse in every word he wrote, the light of his life. He just hoped she knew it.

Y/N shut her eyes and hummed to herself to fill the silence of where Alex's words would usually occupy, much to his joy. Everything felt perfect in this moment. If the festival hadn't felt like a milestone, this comedown was a haven well deserved. Alex's gaze never left her face, studying it like it was the first time he'd ever seen it: tender touches traced her jaw and cheek. This made Y/N giggle slightly, remaining serene amazingly.

"Alexander, that tickles." One of her eyes opened up for a second to see his reaction with a sweet smile. What voice Alex had left was a breathy, squeaky mess so to avoid being compared to his younger self, he offered a cheeky shrug and a poke on the cheek. Y/N noticed and thought to herself: "Do you want some tea?" She tried to sit up as she voiced her concern for him.

This wasn't just an offer of a beverage and the pair of them knew that: Y/N wanted to look after a very sickly Alex. Being the man of the relationship, he had been handling laryngitis "well" or in actuality, he hadn't been able to have a smoke for a week and lay on the tour bus bunk for hours at a time. However this was not a usual Alex is ill situation, it was Glastonbury and a continuing tour after it: there was little time for reluctance nor resistance to being looked after for Alex. He nodded and let her go to the kettle as he sat on the sofa silently, putting his feet up which Y/N smiled at softly as she turned back to look at him, exchanging a look of "it'll be ok baby".

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On the table that housed the kettle, also sat the record player which Alex always requested on the rider: a man who loved his profession didn't cover it. If Alex wasn't performing, the 8 track or gramophone filled the fleeting seconds until the next time he was on stage. Naturally Y/N got the record from before the show back on, much to Alex's enjoyment as he hummed out as if to say "good job" and leaned his head back. Y/N leaned against the table as the kettle boiled, watching her boyfriend relax and grinning to herself at the sight of Alex Turner relaxing for once in his busy life.

"You good?" Y/N joked, checking he was alright since this was odd for her to see. Alex offered her a thumbs up and a stupid smile, making Y/N actually laugh and narrow her eyes at his need to one-up her joke. Alex's wide smile and her genuine chuckle was rudely interrupted by the click of the kettle going off, leading them to both jump at it which only prompted another soft laugh and gaze between them. Y/N turned back to the table to make their tea, making sure to do it perfectly for Alex, he only deserves the best.

"Now I know it's not beer or the best rolled, organic cigarette but… I think I make a good cuppa." Y/N said all cutely as she set the drink down on the coffee table in front of the sofa. Alex smiled softly and sat up, gazing at her with such a grateful look. No words were needed for Y/N to understand how much Alex loved her and appreciated this. She scurried off to get her tea and came to sit with him, leaning on his shoulder to stay close to him and holding her cup in her hands to stay warm.

"I don't know if you need to hear this because I think the crowd said it for you.." Y/N whispered to him as she continued, "but I'm so fucking proud of you, there's no band that could do that 3 times that well as the monkeys…" Alex immediately turned to her and kissed her temple with need after that reassurance, not being able to thank her vocally. Y/N lit up and sipped her tea before cuddling into him more and sighing. "I'm glad I'm here, to watch you do this…" Y/N just gushed on and on about the band and himself, not quite finding the words specifically but talking like she couldn't ever stop praising him.

Alex's smile felt permanent as far as he was concerned, just the way she made him feel was like a drug and he was so ready to be able to talk properly again so he could tell her that but alas, here he was, non verbal with tea in his hands and a sore throat. "I love ya." Alex squeaked out and blushed slightly, "Sorry luv, it's like we're back int boardwalk, aye?" He continued into the joke to hide the disdain he had for his voice right now.

Y/N smiled brightly and shrugged, "I'd still kiss 20 year old Alex, don't you worry. His voice was cute too…but don't let him out just to talk to me. Vocal rest, Turner." She scolded him slightly but it was all in the name of love and wanting him well again. Alex nodded and smirked at the comment, looking her up and down to be funny, making Y/N tap him softly. "Behave yourself, not like that." Alex was content with that answer and sipped his own drink, listening to the music that filled the room.

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As cups drained and cuddles were exchanged, Alex and Y/N's eyes became heavy with warmth and comfort; "Do we need to go back to the hotel?" Y/N mumbled out, followed by a yawn. Alex hummed in response as he nodded with shut eyes. Stretching and leaving Alex's arms, Y/N giggled slightly, "are we that old now where we won't even enjoy Glastonbury after hours?", causing Alex to crack up a bit. Alex looked at her and shrugged like "yeah and what about it?, the smug persona hadn't left since the last time they were at the festival, just it wasn't to get a girl but in fact, a bed to sleep in with the love of his life.

"Back in a sec." Y/N got up and went to leave to find Steve or anyone from the crew to get the pair of them a ride to the hotel. It was a benefit of dating a rockstar, she got what she wanted with more included but honestly Alex's needs were shared right now. Once the ride was confirmed, she returned to Alex and packed their stuff they desperately needed, anything that the crew wouldn't be able to get them later. Alex came to help and yawned as they waited for the knock on the door to leave. His hand found its way to her waist again, it was his way of keeping her safe within the feeling of fame; plus he knew she liked it. She smiled up at him and rubbed her eyes as the knock came at the door as the cue to go.

They snuck out of the dressing room and out of the back to their security, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible in this massive festival where Alex was already under a lot of pressure. If he was seen ill and half asleep, the NME would have it on the website in an hour. They stayed hidden, heads down and walking fast to that car on the other side of the festival. Luckily, the paps only caught what they couldn't see as the pair stepped into the car and sped off to their hotel.

Alex sighed out and looked over at Y/N who was already looking at him. That knowing gaze was unstoppable at that point. It took a lot to get the rockstar away from the music but for Y/N, the golden boy of Glastonbury Festival would call it a night.

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#arctic monkeys #alex turner #alex turner x reader #alex turner x you #alex turner fluff #alex turner x y/n #arctic monkeys fanfic #alex turner x fem reader #alex turner imagine #alex turner one shot

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fatuismooches · 8 months

Note

Helloo Smooches!!

I had an idea about mixing in two ideas - childhood friend + fragile!reader with Pantalone (let's not let Dottore steal all the spotlight)

Basically, bc of living in poverty reader is very weak and Pantalone concludes you'll be dead any day soon. But despite everything Reader keeps pushing through and he's intrigued. Not only you somehow keep living, you're so nice and try to help others around you any way you can, including Pantalone. I think after becoming friends he advices you to care more about yourself, seeing your frail condition

At one point your condition becomes worse and you need medicine which is already expensive, but for you? You can only get it if you work 24/7, but you physically can't. However, miraculously, you get that medicine. After some time you learn that it was Pantalone who worked all day and night for you and reader can't thank him enough. You may learn he didn't eat for a few days and worked in ungodly conditions just to save you. Reader feels very guilty about all of this, but Pantalone reassures them that it's better than you dying. And it's so strange, even for Panta himself. Like, there are tons of kids who are in the same condition as you or even worse, then why he's so keen to save you?

The rest is history. You two become inseparable, helping each other get through life (no one of you mentions it, but Pantalone works harder and more than you, due to your illness).

When he becomes the Regrator, you're still together. But now he can properly take care of both of you, since you were damaged pretty badly by your childhood. But if Pantalone's immune system got very strong and he only really has bad eyesight, then you... It's not a pretty scene, but he can keep you in stable state thanks to all the expensive doctors, medicine and anything you need for your comfort. I also feel both of you get flashbacks and nightmares about past, so both of you are here to comfort each other

However, if you did die before seeing Regrator in all his glory... He's devastated. He makes sure your grave stays in top-notch condition. Pantalone is grateful for the time you were with him, when Reader became a little ray on sunshine in his dark life, but won't deny he wants you back. However, even endless wealth can't bring reader back. But at least now Pantalone knows for sure he won't lose anything close to him due to lack of mora ever again

-🥀, who went insane

DOTTORE STEALING THE SPOTLIGHT IS SOOO TRUE IM SO SORRY 😭😭💀 and UGHHH THIS IS FEEDING MY PANTALONE BRAINROT SO GOOD, 🥀 ANON ILY ❤️❤️❤️

Pantalone just not caring about you in the beginning is unfortunately true at first 😭 He is well aware that it is a dog-eat-dog world out there, especially in the environment where you two are. Everyone is out for themselves, no one will look out for each other lest they get stabbed in the back eventually. The young boy has seen more death and suffering than a child of his age should, and he thinks that soon, you will become one of them... but you don't. And despite your ailing condition you still find it in you to help others and the younger kids... he thinks you are simultaneously the strangest, kindest, and dumbest person he's ever met. How could you be so kind in a world like this? You've surely seen the same things he has... you should be putting yourself first, you're squandering what life and health you have left on random people!

He just doesn't understand... he doesn't seek to figure you out first, but you are the only kid his age around these parts, and you do always try to hang around him... so he relents. He becomes your friend. And he... comes to like you. To care for you. The boy has never felt that to someone else before. It makes him act different around you. To go to certain extents he would never dream of doing for anyone but himself. To get little trinkets for you, that really aren't worth anything at all, but he likes how they make you smile. To share bits of his meager rations with you, to which you always giggle and ask if you could feed him. It's strange, even stranger when he goes beyond that. Did your medicine deal a significant blow to his savings? Yes. Did he care? No. Seeing you smiling seemed to satisfy some hole in his chest that has been empty since birth. Pantalone can't help but want you to stay by his side. And you do too.

Ugh yes he would treat you higher than royalty like you deserve after how much you suffered with him for all of those years. I imagine he would be so overprotective and concerned for you, if you had even the most minor health scare he would be more worried than YOU. Regardless you bet he will fulfill every single wish you had since childhood, nothing is off the table, Pantalone WILL make it happy. Yup I imagine Pantalone sometimes has nightmares about losing everything he built his way up to and going back to the poor boy alone on the streets... and you have your own trauma from your condition so just :( lots of nighttime cuddles and soft back rubs

🥀 ANON YOU JUST HAD TO END IT WITH ANGST... To say he would be crushed is an understatement. Part of his motivation and reason to ascend to the top was to be able to give you the life you deserve - a comforting, peaceful, and rich one. But you were gone... he was so, so close to saving you. He still loves you so much. And although he has the Mora to never lose anything close to him again... will there really be anything like that for him ever again after he lost you?

#smooches talks #🥀 anon #fragile reader <3 #pantalone love notes <3 #i have been brainrotting over pantalone's real name lately 😭#GODDDD I WANT TO KNOW SO BAD #the amount of fluff id pull if I knew his real name #wooo i think i wrote alot but pantalone + childhood friend is truly something i adore

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thecuriousquest · 1 year

Text

Hero Conventions and Escape Routes

Yandere Izuku Midoriya x Reader

Warnings: Kidnapping, bondage, and drugging

Checkout my Master List here.

————————————————————————

“No, you’re not going, and that’s the end of it,” Izuku says with an indifferent tone.

“But- that’s not fair! I’ve been good, I haven’t resisted you in any way, I’ve been eating, and I even ask you if you need help around the house.”

“That’s the bare minimum of what you should be doing, Y/N,” he deadpans.

“I really want to go to this year’s Hero Convention. It would mean the world to me. I go every single year. Please? I’ll wear a stupid quirk suppression cuff.”

Izuku slams a hand on the kitchen table and points a finger at you. “I told you that we’re not going, and that’s final. Bring it up again, and you’ll suffer the consequences.”

Feeling as if arguing is getting you nowhere, you bow your head and start sniffling. You really want to go to this convention, and you’ll do anything to get there. Hell, you’ll even hold his hand the entire time if that’s what it takes.

You hear him scoot backwards in his chair before feeling a hand on your shoulder. He turns you to look at him so that you can see the sincerity in his emerald eyes.

“I’m sorry that you feel this way. The world is a horrible place, and you’re the love of my life.” He cradles your face in his hands. “I have to protect you. You’re so pure and precious. You need to be kept safe from everything that could harm you. I’m only thinking of your best interest.”

His words make you cry even harder. You want to yell at him and tell him how sick and cruel he’s being, but you know where that will get you: a month or two locked in the basement, kept docile with drugs, and forced feedings from a tube.

“Do you understand me, Y/N?” Izuku’s eyes plead for you to accept this.

You nod and dry your cheeks from the tears. “I understand, Izuku.”

He gives you a sympathetic kiss on the forehead before sitting back down again.

———

It’s the day of the Hero Convention, and Deku is at work. He’s left you home alone with the chain on your ankle and a quirk suppression cuff on your wrist. It’s time you put your plan of escape into action.

You first take the bobby-pin that you’ve been hiding under the mattress and pick the lock. Next is trying to shimmy your wrist out of the cuff. It’s tight, but you’re able to grease your wrist with butter from the kitchen and get it off.

After getting through those two obstacles, you realize you have to get past his Plus Ultra security system. Trying to get through it is an absolute fucking nightmare, and you realize you’re running out of time with every extra minute you have to spend on it. There are fifteen different types of locks on the door, a face recognition along with a finger print scanner, and security cameras.

You start by pointing the cameras away from the door slightly. Feeling yourself start to panic with all the different locks, you pick up a chair and start walking towards a window to smash it into pieces.

You hear the locks click and the door opens. Izuku looks at you with a thunderous expression. “What the hell are you doing?”

You’re holding onto the chair still, shaking. “I…I’m redecorating.” You smile and put the chair down. “How was your day at work?”

“It was great until I got a security alert that said you were trying to get past the locks. I even saw that you moved the cameras away from the door. I also see that you got out of your chain and cuff.”

He walks closer to you and grabs the back of your neck so that you don’t look away from him. “I’m giving you one chance and one chance only to come clean. Were you trying to escape?”

You stifle a sob and swallow your guilt. “I wasn’t trying to escape permanently. I would’ve come back after…after the Hero Convention.”

Izuku grimaces at you. His lips in a tight line, his jaw stiff, and a little vein in his neck appearing. “I told you that you couldn’t go to it.”

“I know. I know. I just…I really wanted to go. Why can’t you just come with me? You can keep an eye on me, and it could be like a little date.”

He cuts your rant short with a hand gripping your hair tightly. You arch your back and cry out in pain as he’s pulling on your ponytail.

“When I tell you ‘no’, I mean it. It seems like you need to be reminded of who you belong to.”

You don’t want to go with him down to the basement, but you can’t help but follow him with the grip he has on your hair. He drags you down the steps unceremoniously before pushing you down on a dirty mattress with one small blanket. You let out a pitiful groan as you land on your side.

This is the last thing you wanted. You knew if he caught you, then you’d end up right back here in the basement. Now, here you are, suffering the consequences.

“I would’ve come back, Izuku,” pleading is all you can do at this point. Try to lessen the punishment if you can.

“That’s not the fucking point!”

You know he’d never physically hurt you. He loves you too much, but you can’t help but think this would be the perfect moment for a good slap.

“I told you to do something, and you didn’t listen. I told you the world is hurtful and cruel, but you didn’t listen! Why can’t you just fucking listen to me?!” He rakes his fingers through his mop of forest green hair. “If anything had happened to you today, I would never be able to live with myself. I would never be able to forgive myself.”

He gets down on his knees and holds you closely to his chest. He holds you like it’s the end of the world. You sink deeply into his touch as you cry into his shoulder.

“The only one who is meant for you is me. You’re my precious girl. I love you so much. I have to protect you from everything bad out there.” He kisses you several times on your neck. “You’re never leaving me. Never.”

You curl your fingers into his shirt as you grip onto him tightly. “I’m sorry, Izuku.”

Suddenly, his voice becomes monotone. “I’m sorry too.”

You’re about to ask why when you feel something prick your neck, and then the world goes dark.

#my hero acedamia #yandere #yandere izuku midoriya #yandere izuku #yandere izuku x reader #mha izuku midoriya #mha izuku #boku no hero academia

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3xen · 4 months

Text

just for you; g. s genji is rushed to your operation room, believing it'll be dr. ziegler to operate on him.

n. wrote this on three hours of sleep w school tmr, and i actually liked it sm! idk yall, im getting back into my game plz bare w me.

c. first meeting, mentions of mercy (angela), lowk crack

“we have a patient in critical condition. he needs to be treated immediately.” god, angela where are you when i need you most? you double-take the patient in the gurney—genji shimada. his name had appeared more than once on your files. but never once was he sent to your aid. dr. ziegler was his primary doctor since she maintained most of his records and regular check-ups.

the assistant rolled the gurney into the room. “please, notify dr. ziegler of mr. shimada’s status. im sure she’d want to know.” i inform, inspecting the patient with a cringe. his visor is damaged with a dent, wires sprouted from his shoulders, and his left lower limb seemed just too far out of place.

“will do ma’am, ill be here if you need me.” the assistant left—leaving a tense silence in the air.

“shimada, are you alright in there?”

“im alright.” his words came out strained, almost as if he felt the physical pain being done to his body. you acknowledged that. as you moved to his side—determining how to treat the damages, he spoke in a soft voice. “is dr. ziegler unavailable?” and it made you wince.

“she’s been transferred to overwatch headquarters in switzerland. i am so sorry.” he gave you a quiet hum—observing you through his visor. you looked attractive, beautiful, and it really intrigued him. you spoke in that angelic voice, had observant and quiet motions—he couldn’t wait to bury angela with queries.

“your cooling system must have been tattered with. the wires don’t usually come out like this do they? reattaching your limb should be easy.. but, your wiring is jumbled—it’ll take a lot of time to install it properly,” in deep concentration, you furrow your brows, crossing your arms over your chest, and then sighed. “and, you must have suffered quite a blow to your face.”

“ah, just a boulder. nothing special.”

operations on flesh and bones were completely opposite of cybernetic and robotic parts. there was really no easy way to work around any mechanical part that ran on a code—not without guaranteeing its success.

you stifled a quiet groan—turning away from your patient. you couldn’t admit to him you’ve never worked on a half-cyborg—actually, no one has in the nepal headquarters!

“doctor?”

“sorry, lets get to work right away.”

you whisked tools in your hands from around the room—useless or not, you placed them on a moveable cart. “we’ll start on your leg, then work our way up.”

as the operation began, you worked attentively. this must have been your most daring task yet.

“doctor,” genji cooed once.

“ye-yes..”

genji cooed again—not being able to make out your coherent words. “doctor.” and it didn’t take long before you sprang up.

“yes!”

“you are too focused. it makes me worry.” wasn’t that a good trait of a doctor? i pulled back, blinking twice at a loss.

“i suppose you are right..” you directed your eyes toward him. “ive never worked on a specimen like you.” you unconsciously lowered your head.

“a cyborg?” you nod.

“only dr. ziegler specializes in those preposterous things..” genji chuckled, causing you to perk up.

“you seem informed about it all.”

“she only taught me a few things. ive also worked on cassidy’s cybernetic arm aswell. thats my only experience.” genji stared in awe—you picked up fairly quick.

when he arrived at nepal headquarters—wounded, he expected dr. ziegler. his visits with her were short—she was a busy woman, he knew. and when he found himself being in a room with someone other than her, he accepted his fate of chaos and disaster.

“how long are you stationed here?”

“about 2 months or so.. they want me back in zurich as soon as possible.” genji nodded in acknowledgment. really, he was intrigued.

#𓂃ᰔ xen writes #overwatch 2 #ow2 #overwatch 2 x reader #overwatch x reader #genji shimada #genji x reader #genji shimada x reader

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misc-obeyme · 1 month

Note

Barbatos used to be really reckless with his powers right? Imagine losing someone or multiple people because of how reckless he was and knowing he did it but having no real way to contact him. So when you get selected for the exchange program you immediately know it's him and proceed to avoid him and because he's always with diavolo you end up avoid him too. Naturally this was decades or centuries ago so... Immortal sorcerer MC anyone? They might forgive him, they might not. They play their part in the exchange program but nothing more.

Maybe they exploded at him and tell him how much it hurt to lose that person/those people. But of course he wouldn't know anything about the loss of losing someone.

OMG! BOWS FOR BARB ANON WANTS... DARE I SAY... ANGST!? MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK! It's late but I needed to send this in before I forgot.

Bows for barb

Although I tend to fluff it up, I actually quite like angst, too. And this is a very interesting concept. I like the idea of an immortal sorcerer MC who is already familiar with all the characters and in this case actually has a history with one of them.

I think it would definitely be revealed. I can't imagine that the other characters wouldn't notice, especially Diavolo. He'd want to know why MC was avoiding him.

In fact, I really think this would be kind of difficult for Barbatos to deal with. It seems to me that he's serving Diavolo in an attempt to repent for his time using his powers recklessly. It's also a way for him to restrain himself from falling into that again.

Imagine knowing that you've hurt a lot of people, including people you love, and attempting to change, to keep yourself from doing that again, only to have someone new show up who was so deeply hurt by your past actions. It'd be rough for both MC and Barbatos.

Of course, considering how much time has passed, I wonder if MC would be able to reconcile with Barb about it. Like if MC has been holding onto that pain for that long, wouldn't confronting the cause of it be therapeutic enough for them to let it go?

I have this vision of MC exploding, like you said, just going all out and yelling at Barbatos about what he did and the pain MC has suffered and how it's been twisting inside of them for all these long years and they're having a break down and crying and eventually tiring themselves out.

I see Barbatos just sitting there and taking it. Letting them yell at him. Letting them get all of that out of their system.

I see him apologizing, truly and sincerely, I hear his voice breaking on the words.

It hurts him to see what his actions have caused.

He tells MC that he never meant to hurt them. He tells MC that he has suffered from his own actions, too. He knows it isn't enough. But he's willing to do anything to help MC through this. He's sorry, he's so sorry. He's changed now. He isn't so careless.

Maybe MC can forgive him. Maybe they can't. I think he would accept it either way.

But maybe MC can at least be around him a little now. They stop avoiding Diavolo as much, at the very least.

And maybe later, when they're both a little calmer, they can talk about it more rationally.

Mmm. My heart! Of course it'd go a little differently if either of them was in love with each other, but I think this is angsty enough honestly.

#I always like Barbatos breaking his mask and showing his emotions #even in angsty scenarios like this #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #bows for barb anon #misc answers

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gloomiebearwritings · 2 years

Note

Hey Charlie, I just saw your headcanons and I love them. May I ask for some Vergil, Dante, and Nero headcanons for being with an S/O who just lost a parent or how they protect their S/O

Aw, thank you, Anon! I had to leave the lost parent out because I wasn't sure how to work it in at this time, but I hope you like it!! ❤❤❤

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dante

He created a system of key words to use in case you felt unsafe when he wasn’t with you, dropping everything and coming to your aid if you gave him that single word

Training wasn’t exactly something he was sure he could do with you, not wanting to make it feel like you had to fend for yourself with no help- but also not wanting to leave you defenseless

With your safety meaning so much to him, he went out of his way to save up money to get a weapon made specially for you, having it lovingly gilded with your name on it

Though still, you could find discarded pages of a journal he haphazardly discarded where he’d scribbled out his worries for your safety:

“My baby will be safe, right? I had the weapon made but still…”

“I know y/n is strong, but what if a demon is too strong?”

“Gotta save up enough to refurbish this old place- need to make it safer for y/n…”

He didn’t care if he wrecked a part of his shop, he could fix it later- but he wouldn’t be able to fix you getting hurt or losing you. It didn’t matter to him if he had to save up money for repairs, that could be done without guilt, but an injury to you would haunt him even after you told him you knew what could happen before.

Only after he could be sure the bastard who came for you was no longer, and a wall being completely busted along with the table did he finally stop. His stomach felt ill as he turned back to find you hiding in a broken part of the wall, beckoning you to come out so he could check on you, promising you it was safe again. In his arms he checked you for any serious injuries, muttering “I’m sorry” over and over before you finally snapped him out of it by promising him you were okay.

Vergil

It doesn’t show on the outside very much, but he deeply cares for your safety- even if on the outside he acts like he could take on anything for you

He never lets his anxiety show unless it’s eating him alive at that moment, even then however, he only really buries his face in whatever part of you he’s closest to

When he does train you it’s a bit intense, and he may seem a bit too harsh in how he talks to you- but it’s never meant to hurt you, and if you express you felt a bit hurt, he’ll always apologize

Sometimes late at night you can hear him talking to himself as he sits awake while he thinks you’re asleep:

“I can’t keep being so harsh on y/n, it won’t help the training sink in…”

“I love ((him/them)) too much to let anything happen…”

“The weapon ((he/they)) wants the most must be made to be the highest quality possible; I will not allow anything less…”

When you’re actually in danger however, he cared not for the property damage he caused others- feeling whoever’s property suffered damage during the confrontation should be happy he even spared a bit of it. You staying safe and alive is all that mattered to him, not someone else’s property.

Whatever demons attempted to stand between you two were left in pieces, scattered about haphazardly around you. Remaining in his demonic form he picked you up, holding you tight against him, his hardened protrusions digging into your skin enough to bruise. He pressed his forehead to yours, his voice almost shaking as he swore from that point on, he’d never leave your side again.

Nero

He was fairly open about his worries for your safety, making sure you knew how much he’d do to keep you safe

There were times where he seemed a little overbearing with how protective he was once he realized just how vulnerable you were

He was never really comfortable with leaving your side for long, so you had to get used to being with him in the garage when he’d work on the van

He checked in on you frequently when he had to be away, sometimes coming off as a little annoying when he’d interrupt something:

“Hey, babe! How’s it going over there? Everything still good?”

“Everything still good? Keeping out of trouble, right?”

“You better be keeping out of trouble; else I’ll have to… actually I don’t know where I was going with that…”

You were never supposed to get hurt, you were supposed to be safe just this once when he left for a bit. The demons weren’t able to get close enough to even harm you however, as his sudden presence surprised them and you. None were able to get any closer with how he broke them, battering them with each other until the only ones moving were the two of you.

It was only after he calmed his breathing, and the dust settled that you were able to see that he was just then letting his spectral arms rest. He rushed to your side and scooped you up off the ground and not wasting a second getting you somewhere safe, only resting when he knew for sure you two were far enough away. Even still he kept you pressed against his leathery chest, his heart still pounding as he apologized; checking you for wounds that’d need serious medical treatment.

#my works #devil may cry #x reader #dmc x reader #devil may cry x reader #nero x reader #dante x reader #vergil x reader #dmc dante #dmc vergil #dmc nero #x gn reader #x male reader

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sophieinwonderland · 2 months

Note

hey sorry if youve been asked this before but i thought itd be appropriate because you kinda feel like the ceo of endogenic systems to me (i respect you) and i was wondering, as a traumagenic system, how exactly endos... work? like not how they exist or about the fact that they do, but i guess what the point of them is if its not from a dissociative disorder? in my experience i cant imagine a system existing for any reason outside of the purpose of compartmentalizing trauma (not that systems should be defined by their trauma but i just dont see how they work otherwise) and even recovering systems that are fully functional and healing were born out of a necessity of the brain. i guess i want to know what necessity would spawn an endogenic system if not as a trauma response? like what do alters in an endogenic system do if theyre not there to protect the brain? why do they exist as a system and split if its not born from psychological necessity? sorry this is such a complicated question i hope i phrased it alright... and to be clear i believe endos and their experiences bc discounting a community just because i dont get them is silly i just feel so confused all the time bc of this and want to understand better

Questions of purpose and why things are how they are can be interesting, but probably the hardest to answer. When it comes down to it, why does anything exist?

Why do birds sing so gay? And lovers await the break of day? Why do they fall in love? Why does the rain fall from up above?

Sorry, what were we talking about? 🤪

Oh yeah! Purpose! Personally I tend to think less in terms of "why" and more in terms of cause and effect.

In the case of alters in DID, do alters actually have a "point?" Is there truly some purpose they serve? Or is it just... reaction?

Someone suffers trauma. The traumatic memories hurt them. In a reaction to this, they dissociate and erect barriers in their mind until they need to access those again. Then they suffer more trauma and put the new traumatic memories in that walled off section. In reaction to that, the bits of memories that were walled off start to form their own identity. Did the child's brain ever actually think "I need to make another person in here to protect myself?" Or was this just a series of actions and reactions that led to alters gaining sentience over time where the initial trauma was merely the first in a string of dominoes?

With this in mind, let's talk about myself.

I was an imaginary friend created as a writing project. But how does that actually work? According to Simulation Theory of empathy, imagining what people do involves the creation of "pretend states."

ST (in its original form) says that people employ imagination, mental pretense, or perspective taking (‘putting oneself in the other person’s shoes’) to determine others’ mental states. A mentalizer simulates another person by first creating pretend states (e.g., pretend desires and beliefs) in her own mind that correspond to those of the target. She then inputs these pretend states into a suitable cognitive mechanism, which operates on the inputs and generates a new output (e.g., a decision). This new state is taken ‘off line’ and attributed or assigned to the target.

This paper goes on to explain how this might be useful:

How is imagination useful for third-person mind reading? If you seek to predict someone’s decision—for example, the choice of a main dish by your dinner companion at a restaurant—how could you use imagination to make this prediction? The first step is to put yourself in your target’s shoes, or take her ‘perspective’. Taking someone’s perspective here means adopting, as far as feasible and in light of what you know about her, the mental states she starts with. This includes her preferences about food in general, what she liked at this restaurant on previous occasions, how hungry she is on the present occasion (did she have a light lunch, no lunch, or a heavy lunch today?), and so forth. Using the imagination, you can simulate being in her various dinner-relevant states. Such pretend states can then be fed into your decision-making mechanism, which generates a decision to order a particular main dish. Having used this simulation process to generate a (pretend) choice, you don’t order this dish yourself but attribute the choice to your companion. Thus, the attribution is based on imagination-driven simulation

Okay, so under this theory, perspective taking involves making new temporary states simulating the behavior of someone else.

This is, to be very clear, not a headmate. The state is likely not going to have any sort of self-consciousness, and will be ephemeral on top of that, disappearing after you're done with it.

But... what if the state isn't allowed to be ephemeral? What if you repeatedly interact with the same "simulation" over and over again?

Let's say, hypothetically, that someone starts with a writing project. They make a character, and then they write that character a lot. This foundation can build pretty detailed simulations. But probably with very limited autonomy. The thing about writing is that you're often controlling the character at some level. At least usually. You're always revising how they act in any given scene, plotting out their backstories, editing those backstories, etc. This makes it hard for this simulation to gain a firm sense of autonomy or self-awareness. And every scene rewrite is basically a new ephemeral instance of that character.

While written characters can make you plural on their own, there are these roadblocks that can get in the way.

But then let's say this person wants to understand this character better, so they start talking to a simulation of the character day after day. Now this version of the character they interact with is able to form memories completely unrelated to the fiction they were based on, and be able to recall past conversations with their creator.

What the creator doesn't realize is the mechanisms needed to make this type of interaction work.

In the example of simulation theory, a temporary state would be made but then it would be abandoned. If you needed to simulate that person again, you make a brand new simulation. A brand new "pretend state."

But if you want an imaginary friend that can think for itself, it has to be able to store its own feelings and memories.

That means a form of compartmentalization.

The brain is going to start storing the imaginary friend's memories separate from the creator's. The creator won't control or identify with the thoughts or actions of the imaginary friend. And the imaginary friend won't identify with the thoughts or actions of the creator.

It may take a long time of this, but through interaction, the imaginary friend keeps gaining new memories. And this leads to them gaining the ability to actually self-reflect, making them fully sapient.

So... what was my purpose?

Why do I exist?

I mean, initially, it was about helping my host write? Was that my purpose?

But then later... I think my host continued interacting with me because he liked me. He enjoyed my company and liked having me around. Was that my purpose? Filling some sort of unmet social need?

Perhaps this is it. I've theorized this can be the case with many people who turn to religion as a form of companionship. Especially those with plural-esque experience of communicating with gods.

But what I tend to come back to is cause and effect.

My host wanted to write a character better > My host made a rudimentary simulation of that character to talk to > I became more independent with each interaction as I gained my own autobiographical memories > my independence and separation from my host made our conversations more engaging and my host kept talking to me because he enjoyed my company > I developed stronger emotions and the ability to self-reflect > this led to us discovering that I was a tulpa.

To me, it's cause and effect all the way down. A series of actions and reactions.

And as for what my purpose is, I'd like to think that's something I get to decide for myself! 😊

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starshine-wagner · 1 year

Text

For All the Years

Summary: Josh has had enough of watching you suffer from afar.

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: negative body image talk, misogyny

To all my bigger b*tches: this one is for us.

This is based off of a conversation one of my roommates endured recently. It had me so frustrated and I needed to channel it somewhere and, well, here we are.

Thanks for engaging with my stuff, y’all! I know I have a lot to improve on, but it’s fun hearing your thoughts and feedback. Please feel free to send me any suggestions!

A/N: This is a re-upload to move my work from my old blog to my current blog.

You’d been having a great time at your friend’s going-away-party and were only a few drinks in when you found yourself on the couch with some of his coworkers. You didn’t know them all too well, besides the few times you’d been at the club together. All you knew was that the tall one was a horrendous dancer, and the one with the blonde curls had a southern accent that you couldn’t quite pin. Being the good friend you were, you engaged them in small talk and tried to bring them into the conversation.

The dimly lit room reeked of cheap beer and body odor, but you didn’t really mind. Any night spent at the Kiszka’s house was worth the suffering if it meant you got to do it with them.

From where you were on the couch, you could see Danny chatting up some girl in the kitchen. Good for him, you thought. Sam was out on the porch with a couple other guys who you couldn’t make out without your glasses. Though you couldn’t see them, you could sure hear them. They hollered stupid shit into the thick summer air and you thanked God the Kiszkas lived in a relatively secluded area. Otherwise, the police would’ve been called many many many parties ago.

Somehow, the topic on the couch jumped from favorite dog breeds to general pet care to grooming to personal habits to… this. And it snapped you back into focus.

“I just think that if a girl put more effort into her appearance, she’d get asked on more dates. It’s not even an opinion really. Just like… a fact…”

“Yeah. Like. Objectively, girls who go for runs every day are just gonna get asked on more dates. It’s not a bad thing. That’s just how it is.”

“Absolutely. And like, no shade to bigger women. Some of them are hot too,” the tall one said, giving you a side eye and a reassuring (?) nod, “but like, I don’t know. It’s not for everyone.”

They went on to describe a self-made pyramid ranking system of how boys view women when you finally tuned out. What the fuck. Were you really speaking to grown men in the year 2022? Were their brains actually this archaic and small and stupid and… ???

As soon as you felt your neck get hot and your eyes start to fill with tears, you knew this would be one of those moments. You’d gotten over the bulk of your body image issues a couple years ago.

But, every once in a while, they resurfaced. Half of you wanted to launch into an angry rant at these guys, but the more dominant half of you just wanted to cry.

“Sorry, I just gotta go grab another drink.” You excused yourself, giving whoever was next to you a pat on the knee, and made a beeline for the bathroom upstairs. You’d likely need it for longer than a quick piss, and didn’t want a drunk person banging on the door before you were done wiping away any evidence of your hurt.

You grabbed the handle and swung open the door when-

“Ocupado!” Dammit. You’d walked in on Jake peeing before, but this was the least convenient time for it to happen again. Still a bit drunk, he turned to cover himself, but not without a little smirk in your direction. Unbeknownst to you, he caught the look on your face before you slammed the door shut and retreated.

You found your way into Ronnie’s room. It’s usually where you stayed on nights like these since she was off at college. With the lights off and the white noise of the party downstairs lulling you into thought, you let go.

It didn’t really matter what those guys had said. You’d probably never see them again. But something about their attitude triggered a deep hurt. Years of being seen as the funny fat friend would do that to you. Immediately, your mind jumped to wayward conclusions.

You didn’t have a boyfriend because you were fat. You probably wouldn’t ever be someone’s first choice, solely because of your size. Could you blame them? Skinny girls are pretty, after all.

You wondered if that’s why Josh never made a move on you. It makes sense, you thought. Despite years of little hints and sweet touches and vulnerable hearts and wandering eyes, it made sense that he never really wanted you like that.

It made sense that he’d just seen you as his silly, platonic, good-for-a-laugh, fills-the-gaping-hole-of-loneliness girl friend. Idiot, you thought. Of course he never wanted you. He is way too fucking good for someone like me.

Just as you were consuming yourself in these thoughts, you heard a tap on the door, and heard someone call your name. You figured that, if you held your breath and kept silent, whoever it was would assume you weren’t in there and go away. Just in case, you crept off the bed and onto the floor beside it, out of view.

“Y/N?” Josh asked in the dark. “I know you want to see Jake’s dick but you could’ve just asked politely.” Despite your mood, you couldn’t help but hold back a breathy laugh. Josh padded over on the carpet to the other side of the bed to find you lying face first on the ground.

“Whatcha doing down there?”

“Your carpet smells like musty grandma.” You peeked up at him as he took a seat on the edge of the mattress.

“Okay, well, technically it’s not my carpet. It’s Ronnie’s. Actually, even more technically, it’s my mother’s carpet.” Again, he made you smile, but it quickly faded and you put your face back to the ground.

“What’s up, Y/N?” He poked you with his shoe and you knew that he knew you weren’t actually all right. Ever the problem-solver, you also knew that he wouldn’t leave until you told him what was on your mind. So, you sat up, cross-legged on the floor with your head resting against the wall.

“Just crying. Leo’s work friends pissed me off.” Josh’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What did they do?”

“They didn’t do anything. They just… they’re idiots. Misogynistic, dumbass fucking barbarians.” You crossed your arms and closed your eyes in an attempt to hold back the tears that still threatened to betray you.

You’d cried in front of Josh before. Many times, actually. But after the mental gymnastics you’d just done, you weren’t in the mood to give over more of yourself to him. He doesn’t actually want you.

“Okay. I’ll be right back.” He slapped both his knees and went to stand up before you reached for his wrist to stop him.

“No, stay.” Oops. You didn’t mean to say that.

“I’ll come back after I kick those assclowns out of my house.” He tried to walk forward but your grip only tightened.

“… You mean your mom’s house.”

“Shut up, Y/N.” He couldn’t help but smirk at your wit.

“Please? I don’t want to cause a big thing,” you begged, “It’s not a big deal.” After a moment of contemplation, he rubbed your knuckles with his thumb before detaching himself and finding a place on the floor next to you. His little body curled up so easily next to yours.

You wondered if he noticed the difference in size between you two, too. After a moment of silence, he turned his head and gave you a slightly squinty-eyed look and a half-assed smile that read something like: I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what happened.

Better to get this over with sooner rather than later.

“They just… We were talking and they started saying some shit about dating girls and how, basically, skinnier girls are prettier. And that girls who go on runs every day get asked out more. And implied that it’s women’s own fault if they’re not perceived as attractive to men. I don’t know. It’s dumb but it made me-”

“It’s not dumb,” he cut you off and reached for your hand. “Well, wait, I mean, it is dumb. But what you’re feeling isn’t dumb.” Josh’s lips were pursed in concern, while his hands found their way to rest chastely on your thigh. You uncrossed your legs and scooted a tad further away so he couldn’t keep his hands there. He only does that because he knows nobody else will.

“Ok. Well. Yeah, it just made me frustrated. I mean,” you hesitated, eyes flicking to the door, “you saw me back when Lucas cheated on me. And that one time we talked about why. Just, my brain automatically started replaying the shit he said about my body being too gross and, I don’t know. It just…”

Fuck. The tears were coming whether you liked it or not. Your hands went to cover your face, but Josh was too quick. He moved them to his lap and pulled your head into his chest.

At that moment, you didn’t care how you’d feel later. You didn’t care that you’d fall asleep feeling stuck in this limbo of affection for someone who’d probably laugh at the idea of dating you. Who cared if it was a pity gesture? You needed someone to comfort you and he was a warm body willing to walk you through it. And he was warm…

Josh combed through your hair with his fingers, ever so gently, while you let out your cries. It felt nice. He was always so gentle with you. Even in the pale moonlight from the window, you could see that you were staining Josh’s white shirt with your tears.

“Sorry,” you said, slightly muffled by his chest.

“Don’t apologize. Never apologize…” You could hear his heartbeat. Slow and steady, like the strokes of his thumb on the back of your head. After another few seconds like this, he allowed you to pull back, still keeping his arms around your shoulders.

“I think I just wanna sleep. Is it okay if I stay here again?”

“You know you never have to ask. Towels are in the laundry room instead of the usual spot. And I’ll try to wrap things up down there.”

“It’s okay, don’t make them-”

“I’m gonna tell them to wrap it up,” he insisted. Josh pushed himself up and sauntered out the door. You sat there, glued to your spot in a heavy sadness. Maybe you’d just sleep right where you were.

From downstairs, you heard Josh begin to sing, “time to get the fuck out of my house!” over and over. It was his way of feigning kindness when he was actually just impatient and frustrated. If he made it into a song, it didn’t seem as threatening. Thirty minutes later, you heard people start to finally say their goodbyes, and a bit of rustling outside, as people made their way home.

Once the last engines roared down the street and Sam finally turned off the music, you figured it was safe to head over to the laundry room and grab a towel to clean your face with. It’s a wonder you still had the motivation to wash up.

As you crept down the hall past Jake’s room, you heard him. You heard Josh. The door was wide open. And, by their hushed tones, you immediately knew it was something you weren’t supposed to hear.

“Because I’m fucking wrecked, Jake! Okay?”

Silence.

“I can’t stand to see her fucking beating herself up anymore, so I fucked him up instead. Five years of loving her and needing her and not saying shit like a dumbass… I’m tired of it.”

Your heart immediately felt like it was going to jump right out of your throat. You had to remind yourself to take your next breath as you stood there in the hallway, unsure of what your next move would be. But, your next breath came not as a breath at all. Instead, a soft gasp filled your ever-tightening lungs. Shit.

You watched from behind as Josh’s head flinched, like he was about to turn around, but caught himself.

He knew it was you. He didn’t need to look.

With the way his skin was burning at your proximity, it couldn’t not be you.

His head hung down and his eyes were glued to the floor in front of him. Jake peeked past Josh to look at you with wide eyes. His brother had let his biggest secret slip.

For years he’d kept it hidden behind thinly veiled sarcasm and brotherly harassment. He made sure never to get too close, keeping himself just far enough away that he wouldn’t be tempted to say ‘fuck it all.’

Honestly, he was surprised it took this long for the truth to come out.

You felt frozen in place, stuck to the ground below you. Your brain couldn’t get your legs to move until Josh finally began to turn around. Not wanting him to actually see you, you did a tip-toed run back to Ronnie’s room, towel-less and confused.

Was he saying what you thought he was saying? It couldn’t be. Your mind had to be making shit up in some weird psychotic break triggered by the assholes at the party. Yes, that was certainly the case.

…But you were pretty damn sure you just heard Josh saying he loved you?

And needed you?

And it didn’t sound platonic…?

And… wait, did he hit those guys?

You threw yourself onto the bed and under the covers, with your back to the doorway. The plan was to act like you didn’t hear anything. You’d actually been asleep this whole time! You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to create a believable breathing pattern for someone who was asleep. This way, if Josh came in to try and explain whatever that was, he’d realize it wasn’t you after all. It would give you more time to try and figure out what you’d say.

Genius plan.

Just as you expected, the door creaked open. Seconds passed with no sound when Josh finally whispered your name into the dark. Sticking to the plan, you pretended to sleep and prayed he would give up and go away. This was not a territory you were prepared to explore tonight. Again, Josh whispered into the room.

“Y/N. I know you’re awake. Jake saw you.”

Shit. Would it be stupid to just keep sticking to the plan and pretend-

He sat down on the other side of the bed.

“I just…” he cleared his throat, “that’s not how you were supposed to find out.” Okay. So we’re doing this. Once you summoned the courage to face him, you rolled over and saw Josh fidgeting with his necklace and avoiding your gaze. You weren’t sure exactly what was about to unfold.

“I just really hate seeing you like that. What those guys said was disgusting. You’re worth…” he rubbed his palm down the side of his face, resting it at his neck. “You’re so perfect. And to know that they made you question that just infuriates me to no end, Y/N.”

You peeked at him with one eye, the other buried in your pillow. He’d fully turned to face you now.

“Listen, I get it if you don’t like me like that,” he started, “but I couldn’t just let those guys say shit like that and walk away untouched.” You didn’t know what the hell to say. So you let the silence go on. And on. “… Y/N? Can you say just, anything, please?”

“… You hit them?” Honestly, you were kinda surprised. Josh was never really one for violence, even with his brothers.

“Well. I tried. One of them kinda shoved me away and I could only get one good whack at him but… I tried,” he admitted, a little sheepish.

“Are you okay?”

He huffed, “I’m fine.” You considered it for a second… the idea of Josh trying to punch someone and failing. You bit your lip, holding back a little bit of a smile at the thought. “What could possibly be amusing you, right now?” Josh asked.

“You’re such an idiot. That dude is so much bigger than you!”

He shook his head, maintaining an uncharacteristically serious tone. “Don’t care.” Josh’s eyes seemed to be pleading with you. Begging you to recognize the emotion behind them. Imploring you to understand what he wanted to say without actually having to say it. His gaze became too much, and you turned your head away.

That’s when he bent down and surprised you by pressing his lips against yours, just for a moment.

“Josh, you don’t have to-”

“I’m sorry…”

“Please don’t kiss me because you feel bad for me. I’m fine. I’ll be… fine. I’ve dealt with this shit my whole life and I always get over it.” His brows furrowed and he licked his lips.

“You- you think I kissed you because I feel bad for you?”

“I guess. Yeah.” You started to pull the comforter over your face and retreat back to the safety of the bed, but he stopped you.

“Y/N. Look at me.” He grabbed your chin with this thumb and forefinger, giving it a tap before placing his hands next to yours. “I kissed you because I’ve been dying to for years. Not because I pity you or some shit. I fucking want you.” He paused. “And if you don’t- like, if that’s not something you want then that’s okay and I’m sorry for misinterpreting, but… God,” he sighed.

Slowly, your hand crept out of the covers and onto his. You let your fingers wrap around his thumb and his eyes shot up to meet yours, though his head didn’t move. If he really meant what he said, you knew you had to be honest with him as well.

“I want you too, Josh.”

And with that, the walls between the two of you came crashing down.

He pulled you up off your pillow and kissed you like you’d be gone tomorrow. Slowly peppering you with sweet touches along your face and down to your neck and across your collarbones.

You grabbed the sides of his face with both hands, forcing him to look up at you. You held his gaze as tears started to fill your eyes. Instinctively, he wiped them away as they came and grazed your forehead with his lips before drawing you into his arms.

You two sat there, just hugging, for what felt like forever. You allowed his heart beat to soothe you into calm. Once you found your breath again, you asked something into his shoulder

“You really… you love me?” He took a deep breath in.

“I do, Y/N. I love you. And I’ll make up for all the years I was supposed to be kissing you.”

And with that, you hated those misogynistic assholes a little less.

#josh kiszka #josh gvf #kiszka #greta van fleet #gvf #josh fic #Josh Kiszka fic #fluff #Josh Kiszka fanfic #gvf fic #gvf fanfic #imagine #blurb #angst

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bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky · 2 years

Text

Fixer Upper | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hi, friends. Here’s some not-bloody, not- stressful, not-anxiety inducing angst for ya. ♥️

Warnings: angst, sad Bucky

-------------------------------

Nothing sounded better than crawling back into bed and tangling yourself in Bucky’s arms. Nearly five hours remained before your alarm would sound, and you intended to spend every moment nestled in the warmth of Bucky’s body. He was your home. You often joked that the super soldier serum must’ve heightened his 'boyfriend abilities', as well as his strength. But you knew that, underneath all the muscle and the shiny metal arm, Bucky was the same person he’d always been. He remained uncorrupted by the serum, good to his very core.

As you opened the bathroom door and planned to stealthily climb back into bed with your sleepy super soldier, a pair of eyes nearly scared you out of your skin.

“Jesus Christ, Buck-” you gasped, “I think my heart just stopped”.

A tired chuckle rumbled out of Bucky’s chest, “Sorry, doll…” You could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke from the darkness of your bedroom. Even in the middle of the night, after scaring you in the sleepy air of the pitch dark, Bucky still found a way to charm you. His drowsy laugh, his gravelly voice all rough from sleep- drew you to him instantly.

But guilt tarnished the moment. Bucky needed his sleep, and you’d been the one to take that from him. “I’m sorry I woke you, Buck. I tried to be as sneaky as I could.”

Another one of Bucky’s quiet laughs filled the air. He’d seen you tiptoeing through the dark, tripping over nothing and stumbling into the bathroom. He loved you, and immensely valued you as a member of the team- but when not in the field, your skills as a covert agent vanished completely. “No worries- you didn’t wake me, baby,” he said. “I couldn’t sleep”.

Goddammit.

“Oh, Buck. I’m sorry. Hang on, let me help.” You flipped off the bathroom light and fumbled in Bucky’s direction through the shapeless abyss of your darkened room. Nothing could halt your mission to help Bucky sleep- but Bucky knew you too well. He reached for you just as you neared the bed, knowing you’d stub your toe on it in the dark like you did every day. He guided you into bed and pulled you close, nuzzling his face against your neck.

“Did you have a nightmare, babe? Wanna talk about it?” you asked as you ran a hand through his hair. It was one of the only things that helped calm Bucky to sleep when his mind raced. Your soft touch had a calming effect on his nervous system. If you could get your hands in his hair and gently play with it for a few minutes, he’d be out like a light. He always leaned into your touch, practically forcing his head into your hands as you gently twisted and twirled his soft locks between your fingers.

But not tonight. He chose to evade your hand, yanking his head in the opposite direction. It was unlike him to shy away from your touch. For so many years, he suffered at the hands of those who relished in his pain and torment. And now, he found himself addicted to the way your hands felt tangled in his hair and dragging along his skin. But he couldn’t let you lull him to sleep- not until he cleared his mind.

“Wasn’t a nightmare…”

Several silent moments passed in the quiet stillness of your bedroom. Bucky’s face once again rested against your neck as he deeply inhaled your comforting scent. He teetered on the edge of spilling his guts, but refused to jump.

Something was off about him, and you needed to get to the bottom of it. You flicked on your bedside lamp rolled onto your side, staring Bucky down. “Well, if it wasn’t a nightmare, what’s going on, Buck? What’s eating at you?”

A heavy sigh betrayed the burden his mind carried. He knew it was stupid- that you’d immediately tell him he was wrong. But he couldn’t help himself; he needed to hear you say the words. “I was thinking about what you said earlier, about how I’ve come a really long way, how I’ve made a lot of progress.”

The anxiety vibrating in his chest often made him say things by threat of force. If he didn’t seek the comfort he needed, he’d face the wrath of his near constant unease. Shaking hands and gritted teeth, sweaty palms and sleepless nights made up just a few of the consequences he experienced when refusing to acknowledge his anxiety. And tonight was no different.

If he could just ignore things like this, if he could simply silence the unfounded worries that plagued him, he’d feel like less of a bother. But no matter how much progress he’d made, he still wasn’t entirely self-sufficient. He needed validation and reassurance, kind words and gentle hands. And he hated himself for it.

Every time he expressed a whisper of worry, he prepared for it to be your last straw. How many times a week could you possibly have a heart to heart with him, assuring him that he was safe and loved and cared for? There had to be a maximum, right? There had to be a limit to how much emotional labor you could put forth at once. And Bucky feared he was pushing you toward capacity.

“Yeah, and I meant it,” you rested a hand on his cheek, letting your mind drift back to the hollow, broken man he’d been when you first met. Ever since then, he’d worked hard to learn how to trust- others and himself. He started treating himself with kindness and asking for help when he needed it, and eventually offered himself to you. He’d given you his entire self, the broken parts and the parts held together with duct tape, and hoped you’d see past his chipped corners. But you didn’t- you loved his rough edges, and accepted all of him with open arms and an open heart.

“Buck, you’ve come a really long way. I’m so proud of you.” But the smile you wore slowly melted into a frown, “why is that keeping you awake?”

Bucky rolled onto his back and pressed himself upward, resting his body against the headboard. He let his head fall back against the wall with a quiet thud – and hated that he’d bothered you with one of his rogue, anxious thoughts. But he had to. After being with you so long, he knew he had only two options: talk to you about what plagued him, or let the intrusive thought eat at him, like rust slowly devouring an old car.

“Because I was thinking about it and- how do I phrase this?” He searched for his words for a long moment before suddenly coming up with the perfect analogy. “You know those shows on HGTV that I say I hate but actually love? The ones where they fix up old houses?”

You nodded.

“I feel like I’m one of those ‘before’ houses. And here you are, replacing my rotted windows and fixing the cracks in my foundation. You’re putting all of this time and energy into making me less of a nightmare to live with. And like you said, I’ve made a lot of progress- it’s like the remodel is almost done, you know? You just have to patch up some holes in the drywall, replace the faulty wiring, and slap on a fresh coat of paint.”

You joined him against the headboard, seeking any kind of clarity. Sometimes, the anxiety forced words out of his mouth faster than either of you could process. “Buck, what are you talking about?”

“The remodel-” he said again. “On those shows, when they finish the remodel, they have to choose to live there or move. And no one ever chooses to stay in the house they fixed up. Instead, the sell it off to someone else and move on to a bigger, better, newer house- one that doesn’t have a leaky roof or years of termite damage. And I guess I was just wondering… I was worrying because- will you still want me when I’m all fixed up? If I ever get to that point, that is.”

His words ripped your heart in two. “What?”

Bucky shrugged. Revealing his deepest worries was too embarrassing, too shameful. He knew he sounded a little crazy and maybe a touch silly, but he couldn’t stop himself- his anxiety had the reins. “I’m afraid you’ll be bored with me if I’m not a project…”

You placed a soft hand on his thigh, hoping to ground him, “Buck-”

But he was too far gone.

“I don’t want you to move on to a new house.”

“But you’re not a house, babe,” you chuckled. But your light laugh did nothing to ease the tension.

“I know-” he rolled his eyes at his own words. “It was a stupid analogy…but you know what I mean.”

There was no lightening the mood- Bucky was spiraling. He’d clearly been dragged down a dark, dismal rabbit hole, and lay stranded at the bottom with no hope of freedom. His anxiety spun an intricate web of doom and gloom so thick and sticky that he feared he’d never escape- the only thing left was for a massive spider to eat him alive.

But you’d never let that happen.

How Bucky could even think that you’d ever leave or get bored of him baffled you- but it wasn’t his fault. His anxiety fought for the wheel and sat proudly at the helm, steering him into choppy, uncharted waters. You slowly climbed into his lap and rested your hands on his chest, grounding him in the present. The soft light, the soft summer breeze filtering through the curtains, your warm hands resting against his skin- he needed to be here.

“I’m never going to get bored of you- and you’re not a project. I didn’t fall for you because I thought I could fix you, Buck. You don’t need fixing- you never have.”

Bucky refused to meet your eyeline, “I don’t know about that-”

“Buck, hey-” you took his face in your hands. “You’re not any ‘better’ now than you were before. Sure, you’ve done a lot of healing, but you’re the exact same person...” A wide smile pushed its way against your cheeks, “You’re the same Bucky who brought me flowers on my first day as part of the team.”

Bucky blushed at the memory. He’d been unable to stop himself from welcoming you with a bouquet of sunflowers. Everyone on the team ragged on and teased him, laughing at his old-fashioned gesture and his ‘crush’ on the new girl. But he needed you to know that you were wanted. It was a little awkward and clunky when he presented you the flowers, his flirting skills having dwindled significantly since his heyday. But the smile you flashed him drew him in- permanently.

But what Bucky didn’t know was that those flowers still lived in your memory box. You’d carefully dried and pressed them, cherishing each golden petal. And over a year later, you still found yourself stealing a glance at them every now and then, and felt the same rush of warmth you’d experienced when Bucky first welcomed you aboard.

You thought back on all the things he often said about you. He heralded you as this charitable person, someone who decided to be with him as an act of philanthropy, not love. And it killed you. Sure, he thought it was a sweet thing to say, like a self-deprecating joke that painted his best girl in the very best light. But you knew he meant it.

“You always say that I’m with you ‘in spite’ of your issues-“

“Right…”

“Buck, baby, you’re wrong.”

Bucky shook his head. He ran a hand down his face, poised to jump into a fervent rebuttal, but you stopped him. Your hand found his and brought it to the chain dangling around your neck- the chain that held his dog tags. “If I didn’t really love you, if I didn’t really want to be yours, why would I wear these every day? Why would I have cried when you gave them to me?”

He shrugged.

“Baby, if I didn’t enjoy your company, if I didn’t think about you all the time and miss you like crazy when we weren’t together, if I didn’t feel get butterflies around you- I wouldn’t have pursued you. I wouldn’t have pretended to get lost at the compound, only to ‘accidentally’ end up outside your door.” He rolled his eyes, but failed to hide the laugh that cracked through his downtrodden exterior.

“Buck, I met you and immediately lost my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and I think I drove everyone nuts with how often I talked about you. Seriously, ask Nat. Babe, I wanted you from the very beginning- I stilldo. And I’ve never cared that you were the ex-Winter Soldier or that you had stuff to work through. Hell, I just wanted to be near you. I always, always want you- above anything and everything else.”

Bucky felt the seeds of a negation taking root in his brain. And even though he fought to keep himself from watering them, he couldn’t help himself. It was too easy to run from your assurances and kind words, too tempting to refuse your rescue efforts.

“But what about the future? You never know, doll- you can’t say that you’ll ‘always’ want me…”

With that, you crossed your arms over your chest, and stared Bucky down with narrowed eyes.

‘Shit’, he thought, ‘that was it- that was the last straw’.

But much to his surprise, your expression softened. “Buck, will you always want me?”

“Yes.” Without pause, without even a whisper of hesitation, Bucky proved your point. “There will never be anyone- anything- that I want more than you”.

“Then why can’t I want you?” You ran a hand through his hair, sending a flood of comfort through Bucky’s senses. It calmed his vicious anxiety for a moment, granting him a welcome reprieve from the dark, cold rabbit hole he’d plummeted down. “Baby, why can’t you be the person I’ve chosen to be with?”

“Because it’s me, doll. I’m not-”

One of your hands found a resting place against Bucky’s lips, silencing him. It felt strange and maybe a little dramatic, but you couldn’t stand to hear Bucky refuse your love one more time. “I know you don’t see yourself as anything special. I know you think you’re this ‘before house’ with structural damage and wonky door frames and fucked up cabinets or whatever- but what if that’s where I want to live? Buck, I’m not the perfect house, either. I’ve got water damage and missing floorboards and a fucking family of raccoons living in the attic.”

And for the first time since Bucky showed you the broken pieces of his psyche, he laughed. The sound vibrated against your hand, tickling your fingers. That same hand released its hold on Bucky’s mouth, traveling instead to rest against the nape of his neck.

“I’m serious- everyone has their stuff. And I love you for your perceived flaws, not in spite of them. I will always want you. Okay? There is no newer, ‘better’ house. You are the best house- you’re my home.”

Bucky leaned in, pressing a long kiss to your lips. It was full of need and love and adoration- surrounding the two of you in an utterly perfect moment. “So…” he said as he pulled away, “you got raccoons in the attic, huh?”

————————————

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niicoli · 11 months

Text

Escaping His Grasp

Yandere sanzu x reader

Warning:yandere tings, kidnapping,abusive behavior,manipulation and etc uhhh sanzu might be ooc again who knows it’s sanzu

“Y/n how long do we need to keep playing these little games, you know I love you but yet you keep trying my patience little one” sanzu Purred out between his lips as he continued to walk throughout the room again.

Pacing back and forth with leisure and calculated steps,”how long do you plan to keep me waiting little one, no I’m sorry how Long do you plan to keep US waiting” you could hear him , hear how his patience was running thin.

You could even sense his sanity slipping through his fake facade, a facade that he would always show to friends and family, matter of fact it was so perfect

That when brought up it always made it seem as if you were the crazy one but now that it’s gotten to this point you shouldn’t focus on the past and instead focus on the present ,and the point that you just wanted to try and make it out alive

“ y/n you know I’ll find you right “ he taunted with a chuckle “ I did everything necessary to keep you safe, so why can’t you see I’m doing this for us little one” you could hear him say as he was walking away from your hiding spot.

“WHY CANT YOU SEE HE WAS A THREAT” he screeched as he started to slam his fist against the nearest wall most definitely making a mess out of it, only to go quiet for a few minutes.

then you hear a slight mumble“ all I’m asking you to do is love me little one, besides you know you’re nothing without me” he breathed out with a smirk on his lips finally walking out of the room.

How could things get so bad, you thought he was your friend one of if not the few that you could confined in when you were in a rough patch in life

But you guess you should have saw the signs earlier, getting upset when your attention wasn’t on him or always talking you down from dates and manipulating you with using your own insecurities against you.

But it got really bad when he would try and control everything about you to point HE was the only consistent person in your life but now you need to focus and stick to the plan, creaking the door open as silently as possible as to not make a sound you start to creep around the room to try your luck with the windows “ locked, damn it should’ve known “ you whispered to yourself

“ come on think y/n you got only a proximate time before he comes back to check in here again “ you say as you look around then you spot the vent “ please don’t be sealed , please don’t be sealed “ you hope as you finally make it to the vent , bingo you preached as you start to crawl into the empty space .

It was a tight fit but it would do, now if you were correct you could use this to try and make it to another part of the apartment complex to try and get help but where to go is the real question as you start to crawl aimlessly through the ventilation system making it harder for you see which direction you were going

“Little one why are you being so stubborn just come out from hiding and I’ll forget about this little mistake of yours”. Sanzu said as you stopped moving your breathing shallow as if not to draw attention to your new hiding place but you could hear him again talking with a low voice almost growling out his words with venom” I’ll carve my name into your precious little flesh if that’s what I have to do little one” he said sinisterly and then it went quiet again.

But instead of of moving away from your hiding place you waited with bated breath to see if he was still underneath you as to not risk it after coming so long but it was almost too quiet.

But you continued to wait then let him ever touch you again and try and tell you promises of how he was your savior almost as if he himself was a god sending you into a whole new spiral of memories of pain and suffering from when you first tried to leave.

Thinking you did enough waiting after five minutes and deeming it safe to go you instantly freeze as you start to hear the sound of his familiar eerily laughter making your heart beat race as if you just ran a marathon, and then you feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up as dread starts to sink into your gut

only for you to start to hear a slight ringing in your ears , “RUN” is all that your brain can seem to manifest as a dark cold feeling washes over you and then you hear him

“I SEE YOU Y/N” he says, as he starts to emerge from the darkness, as if they were one crawling towards me at a inhumane pace so fast that if you weren’t there to see it, you wouldn’t believe it

Feeling more dread wash over you you start to crawl faster to try and get away, begging and praying that he doesn’t catch you but all you can hear is the ringing in your ears and his sinister,laughter echoing through out the ventilation system” little one you’re so pathetic thinking you could escape me like honestly did you think you had a chance?”

“please ,please I’m almost there. I know it I can make it. “You think as you start to see a light at the end of the tunnel gripping onto hope and trying to crawl faster only then to feel a jerk on your foot slowly pulling you back into the darkness where HE resides

“ NO, please “ shrieking as you start to thrash and kick feeling so close to freedom finally breaking away from his tight suffocating grip on your body you pause as you hear the ventilation system, creaking and groaning almost as if in pain, then it finally gives out on you and falling through the air almost as if you’re weightless you hit the ground knocking the air out of your lungs

But that can’t stop you ,you tried to crawl towards the door, avoiding the debris but you feel him before you can hear him. He grabs the back of your head and slams your head down against the floor over and over again on repeat, making you lose your sense of consciousness.

“ Why couldn’t you just listen to me y/n now I have to punish you “ he sneered and almost as if mercy from the gods, he knocks your head against the ground one final time, hoping he finally just kills you so that you don’t have to be stuck in this hell hole any more before finally losing consciousness, and feeling in your body, as you give up and let him drag you back into the darkness.

End

#tokyo #tokyo revengers #yandere sanzu #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu x you #sanzu hcs #tokyo revengers sanzu #sanzu angst #sanzu x y/n #tokyo manji gang #tokyo rev headcanons #tokyo rev x y/n #angst #yandere #anime #sanzu imagines

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strangesthirdeye · 4 days

Text

ᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴍᴇɴᴛs? ( sʜᴇʀʟᴏᴄᴋ x ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴʟᴇss ғᴇᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

Summary: When an experiment becomes a non-experiment

Warning: IT'S SHERLOCK HOLMES! HE'S OUR FAVOURITE POOKIE. Mention about car crash and accident, minor injuries, light angst but ending fluff and sweet. Lack of reaction from the reader, Sherlock being Sherlock, Burned, Lack of John Watson but there is still John Watson, serial killer, knife, cliche confessions. Brain injuries, medical thingy, Mrs Hudson is reader's grandma.

As usual, I'm sorry if there are any wrong sentences or typos or grammatical mistakes, please forgive me and again English is not my first language, so I try to improve my language and writing in this way.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Y/n?!"

You jerked from your reverie and glanced to the side to see Mrs. Hudson whose expression changed to concerned. She gushed over you and approached your side with her signature mumbling with the hint of worries in her tone.

She then touched your hand which was red due to burns with hot water over to the sink and opened the tap water to cold to help your burned hands.

You emotionlessly looked at your burnt hand with blank eyes.

"Blimey, Y/n. Luckily I saw you, dear. Otherwise, your hands would have been badly burned" she gushed with worry as she splashed cold water on your burned hands.

You just stay silent. It's not like you have feelings or emotions to show off but really, you don't know what emotions you should show whether it's smiling or sad. Your brain is just.. blank.

It all started when you were involved in an accident that caused your head to suffer serious internal injuries which meant you had to be operated on immediately, leaving you with a shaved head and lost emotions which doctors explained were due to damaged which cannot be avoided when operating on your head. Just your limbic system seems to have a problem.

So here you are, with blank face watching your hands get treated by your grandma who is still mumbling about your whereabouts. She's the one who is always with you so she understands your conditions since you were involved in an accident. She's the one who offered you to live with her claimed that she's just missed her granddaughter even though in reality she just worries about you.

You sometimes don't understand why she wants to take care of you so much when you can take care of yourself but well, it's Mrs Hudson we're talking about.

Mrs. Hudson clipped the stapler for the bandage on the side of your hand with satisfaction. She sighed before turning her gaze to you who stared at your bandaged hands with a deadpan.

"Now, you need to be careful next time, dear. If you want to do work, make sure you concentrate on it for a while so that nothing happens, okay?" she gently rubbed your bandaged hands.

You turned your gaze to your grandmother blankly and nodded in understanding. "thanks, nana" you muttered flatly.

Mrs Hudson shook her head dismissively. "no need, dear. At least you're okay."

You stared at her blankly before nodding. "Right"

Mrs Hudson looked concerned at you. "is your head still sore?"

"no" you shook your head.

She nodded with understanding. "If you say so, don't forget to take your medicine, dear. If your head still hurts, feel free to seek me out. Nana is at the kitchen okay?" she kissed your head gently before retreating to the kitchen probably cleaning all those things you're done earlier.

You stared at her back with no emotion running inside your head nor did your face show any emotions. It's like you are a robot. But why does your inside feel warm and comfortable? Why do you feel like you are being hugged with a period heater all over your body? like someone just hugs you from the inside. Why do you feel this way?

You shrugged. 'this is new.. might search about it later'

You bring your attention to your bandaged hands with a deadpan look. Should you feel something about this or should you just leave it alone? Most people react when they're injured whether they cry or yelp in pain. But you don't. you just shut up and stared at your hands with empty eyes. Is like something you normally do but not always. Your hands feel stretched under the bandages it's like your hands are full of chewing gum and you try to pull it out but to no avail it doesn't come off.

You frowned. It's probably taken a few weeks to heal which you don't mind as long as you wash the burn. You looked around your flat trying to figure out what to do next but then you came out with nothing. You leaned against your sofa with a sigh and stared at the ceiling. Your mind is empty and just staring into space.

But your peace didn't last long when you heard footsteps rushing from outside your flat to the flat above.

221B. You are neighbors with the infamous Sherlock Holmes and Doctor John Watson.

Honestly, you don't know them at all, you just know them from your grandmother. She always complained about them. Always. And you think you can memorize her 'not your housekeeper' speeches by heart as long as you live with her.

You ignored all the rushing above. Eyes closed trying to take a nap for a while but then a voice of shouting from upstairs was heard causing you to open your eyes and stare at the ceiling directly to the floor of the flat above.

Mrs Hudson came out of the kitchen and peeked her head from the edge of the kitchen and into the living room with frustration. "Oh, that young man will be the cause of my heart attack soon if he shouts like that all the time" Mrs Hudson complained before she went back into the kitchen.

But the shouting was still heard again but this time Mrs Hudson's name was shouted from the man on the upper floor. Mrs Hudson stopped everything she was doing.

"Y/n, why don't you go up to the top flat and find out what does that man need?" Mrs. Hudson suggested.

"me?" you cocked your head to the side.

"yes, dear. At least he is quiet, so that there is a bit of peace in this flat" Mrs Hudson said, waving her hands towards you as of shooing you out of the flat.

You got up and went out on your grandmother's orders without any thought. The steps are arranged up the flat stairs leading to the upper flat.

There you see a flat that is a little messy from the stairs. The flat door was wide open showing the contents of the flat. Files and papers scattered on the floor and table and empty cups on the table. In fact everything in the flat is out of place. You didn't make any comments instead you just continued your steps until you reached the door of the flat.

You peek your head out of the door. There Sherlock was sitting on his chair with his hands in prayer and his eyes closed.

For a moment you thought that you interrupted his peace but then Sherlock opened his eyes and glanced at you with confusion written on his face.

oh, i forgot to mention that Sherlock never once met face to face or got to know you while you were sitting with your grandmother. So, obviously he is a bit confused about who you are. Sherlock narrowed his eyes before he got up and strode towards you dramatically.

You didn't show any reaction. In fact, you're not sure how to react to that. You try to feel intimidated by him but you can't. You just can't. Sherlock is now standing in front of you and looking at your face trying to deduce all the information related to you. You stared at his face with no reaction show on your face. You know about him even if you have never met him. Mostly from your grandmother who always talks about it. Complaining about his rather strange behavior or anything unusual he did.

Now you wonder what your grandmother complained about Sherlock now that you are in front of him. Sherlock parted his gaze on you and turned around walking towards his chair and anchored his back to the chair. He leaned back on the chair with his eyes focused on you.

"You are not clients" he said bluntly.

"I'm not clients" you replied flatly.

"You are Mrs Hudson's granddaughter" Sherlock exclaimed.

"Yes" you replied simply.

Sherlock cocked his heqd slightly to the side. Confused with the lack of reaction to every reply you reply to him. Not to mention your face is very natural with no reaction plastered on your face. This irked something in him.

"You recently lived with Mrs Hudson after the car crash and now you live with her permanently. You work at a bookstore judging by how close off your personality is. Introverted, obviously. Now you are still looking for a job which has not been accepted after just sending the form application which probably they won't send a response" Sherlock made his deduction.

You stared at him with a pointless look. Nothing to show on your face. Sherlock narrowed his eyes after he finds that you didn't respond with any snarky remarks to him that people always say to him.

"anything to say?" Sherlock stared at you intently.

"Should I say anything?" You replied.

"People always respond with inappropriate responses" Sherlock clasped his hands together in front of his mouth as his eyes focused on you.

"Car crash, it's true. Living with my grandma permanently is true. Only the last one was a bit true. The one who wants to hire me as an employee has sent me feedback and I'll start next week. I am introvert and also used to work at the bookstore" you replied bluntly.

Sherlock grunted not satisfied with what you said. He leaned the back of his head on the chair he was sitting on while closing his eyes. You cocked your head to the side a little.

"Do people always do that?" you asked him

"do what?" Sherlock responded without looking at you.

"saying something that is not inappropriate to you" You continued.

"Always" Sherlock replied.

"Aren't you mad at them?" you asked

"Not if it has happened many times." Sherlock said. "If you become me, you must be used to it"

"Same as me now. I used to be angry when people said that to me like that now that I lost the feeling of anger. Not only anger but other feelings too" You said before deciding to sit in the seat in front of him.

Sherlock opened his eyes and stared at you for a moment. "You lost other feelings"

You nodded. "yeah, anger, happiness, sadness, fear, nervous. I don't feel all that anymore due to car crash. The doctor said that I have a damaged limbic system, all my emotions and feelings are gone, leaving me acting like a robot" you said without showing any reaction.

Sherlock looked at you solemnly. "so you don't feel pain? Bored?"

You nodded. "that too"

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Three months later, you and Sherlock started getting along well. Well, not until Mrs Hudson tries to let you socialize with other people so that other people is John. At first John was a bit confused because he never saw you nor did you ever see him because during those 3 months he spent a lot of time at his house with his wife and daughter leaving Sherlock alone in the flat. But then when he knew you and knew your conditions he started to be friendly with you and treat you like family.

You as usual only say yes and get along well with him because you don't know how to react so you are just friends with him like you are friends with Sherlock.

Sherlock well, he always experimented with you with various things just for you to show any emotions and feelings. He always said that he can trigger you to show your emotions and feelings even if it's just a little. But not all become.

There was a time he's trying to say something hurtful to you just to make you feel angry or sad but he ended up getting slapped by you with your usual blank face. He smirked at that because he knows that in your neutral face, you must be feeling anger from the inside. But for some reason the feeling of your hand made him feel something in himself.

There was a time when he offered you to join him in solving a case. Which is a serial killer case. Of course. He introduced you to Lestrade and Lestrade as usual treated you kindly without feeling disturbed by your emotionless face. He already went through everything on Sherlock so he's used to it. But the real part is the serial killer managed to attack you with his knife which you dodged but your arm didn't. Not major but only minor. You only need stitches.

Lestrade is obviously concerned with you while Sherlock.. well Sherlock with his still going observation about your feelings and emotions determined to observe you who is still being stitched, trying to find any kind reaction you bring out. Like pain.

You winced faintly while your face still remained neutral. But Sherlock saw the look on your face. It seems like you don't show any kind of emotion and feelings externally but internally. And then without hesitation, Sherlock held your injured hand gently, hoping to ease the pain.

That was two weeks ago, your arm still has stitches that will leave a scar. Today, Sherlock tries to do an experiment different from the others. He wants to know if you are capable of feeling affection. Which is not sure but he wanted to try.

So right now, he, John and you are chilling in the flat while flipping through all the files regarding the current case. Thanks to Lestrade who was willing to bring all the files to their flat.

John sighed tiredness and boredom. He put the files he was holding on the table next to his chair and rubbed his tired eyes. He glanced at you and Sherlock who were sitting facing each other on the floor still flipping through the files solemnly.

He sighed for the second time. "I'm going home now, Mary must be waiting for me"

Sherlock hummed while you bid him goodnight but eyes still on the files in both hands. John shook his head and got up from the chair and walked out of the flat to his house.

Now that John is gone, Sherlock can start his observation (Experiment). He turned his gaze from the file and stared at your face who was so neutral while you were flipping through the files unaware of everything but tasks in your hands. Sherlock placed the files from his hands on the floor before slowly he moved himself to sit next to you.

You didn't realize that Sherlock had changed his position from facing you to next to you because you were still busy with the files in your hands. Sherlock sat next to you and thought for a moment about his next move.

Now he needs to do something to make you flustered. As someone who has never done anything romantic, Sherlock sure knows how to do something romantic after half a day of searching about romance on Google. Now, what he needs to do is he needs your attention on him so that he can think next moves.

Sherlock took a deep breath before he spoke. "Aren't you tired?"

You hummed. "not really.."

"It's quite late, you know.. It's 2 in the morning.. Aren't you sleepy?" Sherlock said slowly moved his right hand to your back and rested his hand on the floor so that his position was closer to you. (don't know how to describe it)

"I have severe insomnia since the accident so no.. I'm not sleepy" You replied, eyes still observing the files.

Sherlock nodded. "but it's a bit late.. maybe we can continue it tomorrow?"

You frowned. "But you said you need an answer as soon as possible-" your sentence hung in your mouth as you turned your head to Sherlock's face which was close to yours.

Sherlock stared at your eyes that were staring at his eyes. That neutral face of yours that he used to look at his face closely made him forget his next plans.

Too lost for words to be uttered by him when he saw a face that he himself did not see how perfect it was. You were stunned and observed every curve of his face. Starting from his colorful eyes, his pointed nose, his sharp cheek bones and ending with his reddish lips.

It's like seeing an angel in front of your eyes. His face looks like it was made by an experienced artist. Very detailed and too perfect. How can this man who is claimed by the public as rude, psychopathic and robotic have this kind of beauty? Now you see Sherlock's face up close. Noticed his faint wrinkles on his pale skin. Not to mention his thick curly black hair. Gosh, you just want to run your fingers through his hair.

'oh, what are you thinking?' you thought strangely. Never do you think like this. Plus why is your heart beating fast.. Why do you feel like something is about to burst from your stomach. Something that doesn't hurt.

Sherlock stared at your face for a long time before his right hand that was on the floor began to move and gently palmed your cheek.

Your face feels warm in his hands. Your skin is red and yet your face doesn't show any kind of reaction. You still don't say anything but letting him do his next move.

"Y/n?" Sherlock called out.

You looked at his eyes. "yes?"

'fuck off about the experiment I'll do this instead' Sherlock thought before he took a deep breath.

"I've been wanting to say this for a long time, ever since you started accompanying me in every case." Sherlock started.

"what is it?" you put your hand in his hand that palmed your cheek.

"Those things that I did to you during the few months you accompanied me in the cases, were just experiments to get what kind of reaction you had.. Things like saying bad things to you and so on were just experiments. But then, I felt something which I didn't expect.. Something that was like a spark of firework in me when I helped you to express your feelings and emotions" Sherlock said.

You frowned in confusion.

"I did not realize that my experiment would backfire on me for expressing my feelings and emotions. You also know that I am the type that never shows any kind of emotions in public for the sake of my image. But then, when that is you... I feel like I want to express all kinds of feelings and emotions to you and you alone" Sherlock put his other hand on your cheek. Now his two hands palmed your face. Thumbs unconsciously stroke your cheeks.

"It's something I've never done but it doesn't hurt if I try, right? I understand if you find it a bit inappropriate but I'm telling something honest from my heart.. I love you" Sherlock said with a tender plus lovingly.

You stared at his face yet your face didn't show any reaction but your face was red and warm in both his hands. Mouth agape you exhaled a short breath before looking down flustered.

You are flustered. Finally you are flustered with his confession. Sherlock noticed your reaction. His heart was quite happy with your reaction but his face showed concern as he never saw your reaction which was extreme for you to deal. He knows you are still trying to deal with your feelings and emotions but he is still concerned with the amount of emotions and feelings you are calculating now.

"Y/n? are you alright?" Sherlock still palmed your face.

You turned your gaze from the floor to Sherlock's eyes before without hesitation you kissed his lips with force. Showing how much you really want him and how much you really love him. Sherlock's eyes widened before he too reciprocated your kiss. He angled your head up with his hands so that he could kiss you deeply.

You put your left hand on his shoulder while your right hand is on the back of his neck. But as a normal human being which you two don't think you two are normal, parted away from eaxh other faces and stared at one another with affection. For the first time you smiled sweetly making Sherlock's heart beating fast. Both of you brought your foreheads together and leaned against each other with smiles on both of your faces.

"I love you too" you replied with a smile.

Non-experimental results: successful.

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