#thanks to the dude who asked me to post the actual drawing from my video. i literally forgot to post it i s2g im sorry lol

[deadmothsketches]

guess who forgot to post this on halloween? lol

#my art #fan art #osomatsu san #mr.osomatsu #ichimatsu #ichimatsu matsuno #ghostface #ghostface Ichimatsu #slashers #thanks to the dude who asked me to post the actual drawing from my video. i literally forgot to post it i s2g im sorry lol #late halloween

[frecklystars]

I'm curious, what's the werewolf driver AU about? I mean I can kinda guess, but like, what's the lore? Is there any lore? Curious minds are inquiring Keri (the minds are me).

(Also, I don't mind if you write like paragraphs about it, I want to see you gush about your werewolf bf like a dam is breaking)

OMG HI HONEY!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍

You have given me permission to explode? I SHALL EXPLODE:

I’ll be honest... I.... don’t have any actual information on the AU yet... 😳 [insert Plankton "I don't know, I didn't think I'd get this far" meme here] I don’t have a story or anything, but I DO know I wanna draw Driver as a werewolf at some point and I’m gonna be so real with you as to why:

OKAY SO;;; some time ago, I don't know if it has been a year or maybe even a couple of years ago, but it was confirmed Ryan Gosling was going to play the main character in the upcoming movie The Wolf Man (scheduled to release January 2025) as... uh, the wolf...man. It is a reboot of The Wolf Man 1941 (not The Wolfman 2010)

The details here are totally mixed for me bc every article says something different about the directing details, but I believe Derek Cianfrance (who directed a few of Ryan's other films such as Blue Valentine and The Place Beyond the Pines) was going to direct it at some point. I don't know if he was originally the chosen director... or if someone else stepped down and then Derek took their place? Either way, the monsterfucker in me was so excited for a werewolf Ryan F/O. Could you imagine the smut fics… the fanart… the video edits… I was SO READY. I have ALWAYS wanted a new werewolf F/O, always always always!!! I used to have one, but that was from [redacted source material] so now I was REALLY excited to add a brand new werewolf to the F/O list ❤

WELL. Flash forward, SOMETHING HAPPENS? We don’t have the details as to why, but in December 2023, it was revealed Derek pulled out of the movie, and so did Ryan. No more Wolfman. THE MONSTERFUCKER IN ME WAS CRUSHED........ WE ALL MOURNED.........

Not even one week later, I thought, "Well, whatever, I can still make my own OC, right?? Ryan Gosling as the wolf man can be real in my heart and in my art!!!" alas, I am not creative so I can't come up with a story... or a design... and I can't watch horror, so there's no way in hell I can watch the original wolfman movie for reference, unless if someone wants to watch it with me to give me some emotional support I guess 😅 so my plan to draw an OC who looks like Ryan Gosling, But A Wolf™ was thrown out the window.

Eventually, I find a very old post where someone clipped 30 seconds from a Drive interview where he talks about the main character from Drive (whose name is listed in the credits as... Driver... yeah don't worry about it) is a "metaphorical werewolf". In a separate article, Ryan brought up that Driver “is a regular guy during the day and then turns into a killer at night” which, yeah I guess he is, when you think about it! I won't spoil the events of Drive, but any kind of violence that Driver had to do in that movie was completely against his will. The dude just wants to drive his cars!!! But no. Shenanigans have to ensue? 😔 smh…

It was when I watched that video that I realized “hey??? you can do whatever you want forever???? I wanna make an AU where Driver turns into a werewolf to protect his girl :]” so now I have a tag for it! Do I have a story?? Not yet! Will I ever make one?? Haha... probably not :) BUT at some point I do want to make drawings of Driver with glowing golden eyes, or maybe hot pink glowing eyes (the font of the movie is a neon pinkish-purple and it's GORGEOUS and I love associating him with that). I'd love to doodle some really subtle stuff like his human form is standing in front of a garage door and his shadow silhouette is a wolf,,, or something. Maybe him snarling with sharp teeth. I don’t know if I’m skilled enough to draw an actual werewolf form, but hey, maybe with practice I can pull something off!! Or when I find another job and make a bit more money I can commission someone else to draw a werewolf form as a reference for me to work with LOL

And like. ok. ok. not to get TMI but listen. listen. the whole entire reason why I want this AU in the first place -- yes, I love my bodyguard F/Os, and I grip onto the idea of a fictional character being protective over me with the force of a thousand suns, and that's definitely a part of why I wanted to make an AU of a canonically violently protective character being even more violently protective than he already is -- but also. but also. BUT ALSO... [deep inhale]... I just... really, really, really... need some werewolf F/O smut. ok. I'm severely lacking in the monster F/O department 😤😤 all of us monsterfuckers were ROBBED of a Ryan Gosling Wolf, and by god, someone's gotta FIX THAT!!!!! 🔨✨

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK. [drops mic] [immediately picks it back up because holy smokes mics are expensive why did I do that]

#iwishihadfangs #asks #werewolf!driver AU #THANK YOU HONEYYYY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH #youre one of the sweetest ppl EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! #[HUGS!!!!!!!] 🤗🤗🤗💙💙💙💙💙🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[daily-wof-designs]

Daily WoF Designs - A Retrospective

Here we are! Three hundred thirty one designs, eleven months, and one very, very tired high schooler. I’m writing this at two am after finishing Freedom’s design and wow. Just. Wow.

In case you dont want to read all my sappy stuff and just want to know about the future of the blog- I WILL be posting new designs if any new characters are introduced in new books (the dragon guide, any future winglets, etc). I will also answer any asks. There just wont be any more designs for a while.

Onto the sappy stuff!

I got the idea of this while working on my Sirens animatic, because I thought to myself that a reference would be useful to have right about then. About a month later, I saw someone mention that one of those “drawing every warrior cats” blogs had finished (ive looked and cant find it anymore, but im sure I saw that post!). So, I got the idea in my head and wondered if this was a good idea because- really? four hundred designs? (in concept I was going to do the humans too. I decided against it partway through book 2)

So, who better to ask than my hashtag besties who I’ve known for years?

I immediately disregarded her, of course. But it’s the principle of the matter.

This was a project I started on the tail-end of quarantine, and it gave me something to do with myself once the school year started up and I went back to in person school for the first time since eighth grade. It was something to keep me grounded. I knew that if I had nothing to do, I could always knock out a few designs while listening to a video essay.

Even if theres some designs I’m not so proud of (looking at you, tsunami and deathbringer), I always enjoyed it. Trying to figure out how to make every character look interesting, how to go beyond “brown scales” or “black wings”. It helped me improve my character designing skills, that’s for sure. If I were to go back to some of my book one designs, I’d probably do things differently. But I know if I go back to redo book one, I’d end up redoing EVERY design. Best let sleeping dogs (or dragons!) lie.

Anyways, now that I’m here, I’d like to shout out followers (or just those who frequently interacted) that I noticed a lot. If I missed you, I’m very sorry- theres just SO many of you and I’d like to keep it short haha.

@neozoid You reblogged nearly every design! That’s just impressive dude. 

@fugivitus-from-gerard You’ve been here since the start and I appreciate that.

@seawing-vibes As your name suggests, you always seem to enjoy my seawing designs. You were also one of the first blogs to actually reblog with compliments instead of just liking the post! It really inspired me to keep going

@belovedisaster You mostly reblogged my darkstalker art, but you always had something nice to say.

@lunathemeifwawitch You don’t really comment much in the tags, but you reblog everything very consistently and are usually the first to reblog the design of the day.

@mothpawbs Dude. I’m pretty sure you went from my main to this blog instead of the other way around, which is VERY unusual. Normally people find my main from here (then they unfollow my main in like, a week because I don’t wofpost daily like i do here LMAO). Anyways, you’re cool.

@nach0 I always notice you in the notes. Hi.

@lettuce-tv​ Hi bestie!!! I didn’t know you followed this blog but you were my first follower on here. Congrats? I think?

There’s more, of course- In fact, theres 373 of you! And I appreciate each and every note I get.

I just want to say that this project has meant so much to me, and I’m glad all of you appreciate it too. Thanks for coming along with my journey of drawing a years worth of dragons and supporting this silly little pet project of mine. (Also please join my map i desperately need more members lmao)

#not designs #housekeeping - self promo #housekeeping - celebrations

[erigold13261]

Yo! I got SUPER spoiled for JJK today at work lol! (so like, kinda spoiler-y post here! So read at your own discretion!)

Eh, decided to put it under a cut because there are a lot more spoilers for the later parts of season 2 and it's a longer post than my liveblogs so someone might see a glimpse of something they didn't want to read before watching themselves.

So first off, I kinda got spoiled for Kento's... end thanks to a tiktok. I only saw a screenshot before I paused the video (and then saved it for later), so all I saw was Kento's face after SOMETHING happened (if I remember then uh, he kinda looked a LOT like Eve at that point, which is kinda ironic considering the Eriverse lol).

I told my coworker about this (and how a youtube video showed the start of Hanami's death less than like 2 seconds into the video that I wanted to save for later). When we were both on our breaks he told me WHO killed Kento and I was like DUDE! COME ON!

I wasn't actually mad lol. It was actually super fucking funny seeing his reaction and like INSTANT regret at me repeating/asking "Wait? ______ killed Kento!?" Absolutely hilarious.

And then later on I was asking if we saw any more cool scenes between the Hidden arc and the end of Kento and Hanami, and this same coworker says "Yea!" And then immediately proceeds to start giving specific detail about Hanami's death instead of a fun scene BETWEEN the death and where I am now!

Lol! I'm not the biggest spoil sport for spoilers, I was kinda hoping to go into Hanami and Kento's deaths blind, but it's not the worst thing that could have happened (also can't wait to see Mahito do a hand puppet Junpei mockery! Make me hate that little bitch some more lol! For good reasons!)

Also, FUCK SATORU! Can't wait to see that fucker die! Blue stopped Hanami from using her domain, and if my coworker is right then we NEVER get to see it! I AM SO UPSET AT THAT! WE GET TO SEE ALL THE OTHER MAJOR CURSES' DOMAINS! WHY NOT HER'S!? FUCK YOU GOJO! YOU RUINED MY GIRL'S MOMENT!

Also also, I can't wait to see Dagon cry over Hanami! OMFG! I want to see more of that little cuttlefish (and his little digimon evolution as my coworker put it lol).

I have the next 2 days off so I'm gonna try and continue the series. Though I do want to draw as well as play a game with another coworker (and possibly the spoiler coworker if I stay on late).

I'll get back to Homestuck at some point. I just keep opening it to Vriskra's introduction scene and then clock back out. Like I don't know why I'm doing this? She seems like a fun character (though a bitch) so I should want to learn more about her.

Don't know why but I think her and Mahito would be buddies lol.

Anyway, little rant over. Major points to gather from this is fuck Satoru and Hanami is love Hanami is life! (and Dagon is babygirl!)

#eritalks #jjktalk #noart #rambling #i honestly don't mind being spoiled #i was asking questions the whole time #but i like the vague answers #i'm not mad at my coworker #it was fucking hilarious #and makes me want to get to those parts #so no real harm done #lol

[meruz]

once again i am answering asks in a big compilation post. included is... gotham, patrick stump, tips about drawing backgrounds, tips about drawing in general, links to my faq, and infinity train

like.... the tv series? No... I’ve drawn dc comics fanart before, though. But it’s been years since I’ve been really into it. I like jumped ship like 10 years ago when the New 52 happened LOL.

AFJHDSLKGH I’m sorry I (probably) won’t do it again??

Actually full disclosure I have a truly cringe amount of p stump drawings/photo studies in my sketchbook right now LOL. He’s just fun to draw... hats, glasses, guitar, a good shape... but I don’t think I’ll rly post those until I can hide them in another big sketchbook pdf.. probably Jan 2022. Stay tuned........ (ominous) 

(ominous preview)

These are all sort of related to backgrounds/painting so I grouped them together even though they’re pretty much entirely separate questions.... ANYWAYS

a) How is it working as a BG artist? Is it hard? What show are you drawing for?

I think you’re the first person to ever ask me about my job! Being a background artist is great. It’s definitely labor intensive but I think that could describe pretty much any art job (If something were rote or easy to automate, you wouldn’t hire an artist to do it) and I hesitate to say whether its harder or easier than any other role in the animation pipeline. Plus, so much of what truly makes a job difficult varies from one production to the next, schedule, working environment, co-workers etc. But I will say that I think while BGs are generally a lot of work on the upfront, I think they’re subject to less scrutiny/revisions than something like character/props/effects design and you don’t have to pitch them to a room like boards. So I guess it’s good if you don’t like to talk to people? LOL

A lot of my previous projects + the show I’ve worked on the longest aren’t public yet so I can’t talk about em (but I assure you if/when the news does break I won’t shut up about it). But I’m currently working on Archer Season 12 LOL. I’m like 90% sure I’m allowed to say that.

b) ~~~THANK YOU!! ~~~

c) What exactly do you like to draw most [in a background]?

@kaitomiury​ Lots of stuff! I really like to draw clutter! Because it’s a great opportunity for environmental storytelling and also you can be kind of messy with it because the sheer mass will supersede any details LOL. 

I like to draw clouds... I like to draw grass but not trees lol,,, I like to draw anything that sells perspective really easily like tiled floors and ceilings, shelves, lamp posts on a street etc.

d) Do you have any tips on how to paint (observational)?

god there’s so much to say. painting is really a whole ass discipline like someone can paint their whole life and still discover new things about it. I guess if you’re really just starting out my best advice is that habit is more important than product. especially with traditional plein air painting, I find that the procedure of going outside and setting up your paints is almost harder than the actual painting. There’s a lot of artists who say “I want to do plein air sometime!!” and then never actually get around to doing it. A lot of people just end up working from google streetview or photos on their computer.

But going outside to paint is a really good challenge because it forces you to make and commit to lighting and composition decisions really quickly. And to work through your mistakes instead of against them via undo button.

My last tip is to check out James Gurney’s youtube channel because hes probably the best and most consistent resource on observational painting out there rn. There’s lots other artists doing the same thing (off the top of my head I know a lot of the Warrior Painters group has people regularly posting plein air stuff and lightbox expo had a Jesse Schmidt lecture abt it last year) but Gurney’s probably the most prolific poster and one of the best at explaining the more technical stuff - his books are great too.

e) Do you have tips for drawing cleanly on heavypaint?

@marigoldfool​ UMM LOL I LIKE ONLY USE THE FILL TOOL so maybe use the fill tool? Fill and rectangle are good for edge control as opposed to the rest of the heavy paint tools which can get sort of muddles. And also I use a stylus so maybe if you’re using your finger, find a stylus that works with your device instead. That’s all I’ve got, frankly I don’t think my drawings are particularly clean lol.

f) Tips on improving backgrounds/scenes making them more dynamic practicing etc?

Ive given some tips about backgrounds/scenes before so I’m not gonna re-tread those but here’s another thing that might be helpful...

I think a good way to approach backgrounds is to think of the specific story or even mood you want to convey with the background first. Thinking “I just need to put something behind this character” is going to lead you to drawing like... a green screen tourist photo backdrop. But if you think “I need this bg to make the characters feel small” or “I need this bg to make the world feel colorful” then it gives you requirements and cues to work off of.

If I know a character needs to feel overwhelmed and small, then I know I need to create environment elements that will cage them in and corner them. If a character needs to feel triumphant/on top of the world then I know I need to let the environment open up around them. etc. If I know my focal point/ where I want to draw attention, I can build the background around that.

Also, backgrounds like figure compositions will have focal points of their own and you can draw attention to it/ the relationship the characters have with the bg element via scale or directionality or color, any number of cues. I think of it almost as a second/third character in a scene.

Not every composition is gonna have something so obvious like this but it helps me to think about these because then the characters feel connected and integrated with the environment.

Some more general art questions

a) Do you have any process/tips to start drawing character/bodies/heads?

I tried to kind of draw something to answer this but honestly this is difficult for me to answer because I don’t think I’m that great at drawing characters LOL. Ok, I think I have two tips.

1) flip your canvas often. A lot about what makes human bodies look correct and believable is symmetry and balance. Even if someone has asymmetrical features, the body will often pull and push in a way to counterbalance it. we often have inherent biases to one side or another like dominant hands dominant eyes etc. you know how right-handed artists will often favor drawing characters facing 45 degrees facing (the artist’s) left? that’s part of it. so viewing your drawing flipped even just to evaluate it helps compensate for that bias and makes you more aware of balance.

2) draw the whole figure often. I feel like a lot of beginner artists (myself included for a long time) defer to just drawing headshots or busts because it’s easier, you dont have to think about posing limbs etc. But drawing a full body allows you to better gauge proportion, perspective, body language, everything that makes a character look believable and grounded.

Like if you (me) have that issue where you draw the head too big and then have to resize it to fit the proportions of the rest of the body, it’s probably because you (I) drew the head first and are treating the body as an afterthought/attachment. Sketching out the whole figure first or even just quick drawing guides for it will help you think of it more holistically. I learned this figure drawing in charcoal at art school LOL.

oh. third mini tip - try to draw people from life often! its the best study. if you can get into a figure drawing/nude drawing class EVEN BETTER and if you have a local college/art space/museum that hosts those for free TREASURE IT AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, that’s a huge boon that a lot of artists (me again) wish they had. though if youre not so lucky and youre sitting in a park trying to creeper draw people and they keep moving.. don’t let that stop you! that’s good practice because it’s forcing you to work fast to get the important stuff down LOL. its a challenge!

b) I’ve been pretty out of energy and have had no inspiration to draw but I have the desire to. Any advice?

Dude, take a walk or something.... Or a nap? Low energy is going to effect everything else so you gotta hit that problem at its source.

If you’re looking for inspiration though, I’d recommend stuff like watching a movie, reading a book, playing video games etc. Fill up your idea bank with content and then give yourself time/space to gestate it into new concepts. Sometimes looking at other art works but sometimes it can work against you because it’s too close. 

Also something that helps me is remembering that art doesn’t always have to be groundbreaking... like it’s okay to make something shitty and stupid that you don’t post online and only show to your friend. That’s all part of the process imo. If you want to hit a home run you gotta warm up first, right? Sports.

I should probably compile everytime i give tips on stuff like this but that’s getting dangerously close to being a social media artist who makes stupid boiled down art tutorials for clout which is the last thing i want to be... the thing I want to stress is that art is a whole visual language and there are widely agreed upon rules and customs but they exist in large part to be broken. Like there's an infinite number of ways to reach an infinite number of solutions and that’s actually what makes it really cool and personal for both the artist and the viewer. So when you make work you like or you find someone else’s work you like, take a step back and ask yourself what about it speaks for you, what about it works for you, what makes it effective, how to recreate that effect and how to break that effect completely, etc. And have a good time with it or else what’s the point.

for the first 2, I direct you to my FAQ

For the last one, I don’t actually believe I’ve ever addressed artwork as insp for stories/rp but I’ll say here and now yeah go ahead! As long as you’re not making profit or taking credit for my work then I’m normally ok with it. Especially anything thats private and purely recreational, that’s generally 100% green light go. I only ask that if you post it anywhere public that you please credit me.

(and I reserve the right to ask you to take it down if I see it and don’t approve of it’s use but I think that case is pretty rare.)

a) @lemuelzero101 Thank you!!! I haven’t played Life is Strange but actually  that series’ vis dev artist Edouard Caplain is one of my bigger art inspirations lately so that’s a really high compliment lol. And yeah I hope we get 5-8 too...!

b) Thank you for sticking around! I’ve been thinking about Digimon and Infinity Train in tandem lately, actually. They’re a little similar? Enter a dangerous alternate world and have wacky adventures with monsters/inanimate objects that have weird powers... there’s like weird engineers and mechanisms behind the scenes... also frontier literally starts with them getting on a train. Anyways if anyone else followed me for digimon... maybe you’d like Infinity Train? LOL

c) @king-wens-king I’M GLAD MY ART JUST HAS PINOY VIBES LOL I hope you are having a good day too :^)

a, b, c, d) yessss my Watch Infinity Train agenda is working....

e) aw thank you!! i think you should watch infinity train :)

#ask #trying this new thing where i tag people in the body of the post instead

[thefloatingstone]

actually animation! i always thought that drawing one pose per page is more easier than using an animation programm but seeing some videos about the programms make me wonder.. how do they make it look so smooth?? and satisfying??

(and thank you! sometimes i like more to ask people than google cuz it sucks and people love to share!)

UUUUUUGH of course tumblr deletes my entire post when I try to add a gif. ANYWAY AS I WAS SAYING! It really depends on what's getting animated. Animating every single frame at 24 frames a second on 1s gives you complete control over every single drawing, but it's incredibly labour intensive. And even the highest grade 2D animated films I know of don't have every single scene be animated on 1s because it isn't practical and not every scene requires that much movement. the ONLY movie I know of completely animated on 1s is The Thief and the Cobbler and it was never finished. (although I highly recommend the Recobbled Cut of the film because it's fantastic) (and tumblr deletes my entire post if I add gifs so just bear with me)

Most TV animation these days (and even a few 2D feature films) will use a combination of hand drawn animation with traditionally drawn in betweens, but will use animation programs' built in "tween" system to have the computer create animation effects. This cuts down a LOT on animation, but animation programs can only tween cut-out drawings. So you have to draw the arms separately, the head separately, the legs separately etc etc and tween them all individually. You then have to go in and tweak the computer tween because, being a computer, it can be extremely unnatural and robotic looking or it could have interpreted the tween badly.

However this means that you can get shots done much faster simply because it takes less time to tween individual scenes than it does hand animation them, even if it does not give you as much control and is usually still unnatural looking and easy to spot when something is drawn versus if it's been tweened

I

(Wander over Yonder uses a mix of tweens and hand drawn frames)

and then lastly the new thing some people are experimenting with, is taking animated sequences at whatever frame rate, and running them through an AI upscaler or other AI program to artificially boost the frame rate to higher than what it was drawn at.

Good examples of this are to go onto youtube and check out people who have taken old anime intros from the 80s and 90s and upscaled them to HD and used an AI to extend them to 60 frames per second (which is what video games run at but is not pleasant for either animation which would be impractical OR film which is uncomfortable to watch and can induce headaches.)

It's an interesting experiment but it's actually really bad animation wise, both because of the uncomfortable watch it creates and the headaches, but also because these 60fps upscale AIs can severely fuck up the animation itself, just as HD upscale AIs can fuck up the art of a show (do I need to show the HD version of usagi's house again?? BECAUSE I WILL!!!)

(it's so ugly...)

But yeah, some people are experimenting using this as a toon to create smoother animation but it's generally not really a good idea if you like.... actually understand animation and you're not just some IT guy who things more frames = better animation somehow.

Actually here's a dude who made a video about it explaining it better than I could

#animation #C-Puff answers #This post better work or I'll scream I had to re-write it so many times

[devildomimagines]

Hi! If that's okay could i request the brothers or the undateables (Luke included but platonic) with a MC who has a pet parrot? Their parrot is super cuddly and is on their shoulder or near them 24/7 and everyone think he's adorable but he's actually a spoiled little shit who will not hesitate to screech if he's not being held and paid attention to (he also does that annoying thing where parrots throw things off the table and when you put It on the table again they throw it again just to piss you off-) like, even if MC payes 0,01 seconds of attention to them he's screeching bsosh-

Anyways, look at the gremlin who inspired this request

He's a bastard birb but i love him anyway😫💞 (fun fact i stopped cuddling him to type and this dude started chewing on my phone case-)

Awww! How cute!!! I wish I could draw too because the idea of MC with a bird buddy is so fricking adorable!

Thank you for requesting and for your patience while I worked on this. Also thanks for the picture of your bird because I love him! 10/10 would spoil.

Belphegor

He squinted at the parrot, the screeching was interrupting his nap.

“MC,” he whined, “get it to stop.”

“Sorry, he’s just so clingy, I stopped petting him for just a second.”

Belphie pouted as your concentration moved from rubbing his back to playing with the bird.

He pulled at your sleeve and placed it on his head, “You have two hands.”

You sighed, how would you ever get anything done like this? 

Beelzebub

At first, he mainly only sees the parrot as something similar to chicken.

Once you explain that it’s a friend, not food, Beel was worried that he’d hurt the small creature so he just tended to avoid it altogether.

He’d watch quietly as you played or took general care of the cage.

One time, he happened to be eating a banana and your parrot hopped over to him asking, “Treat?”

Beel’s eyes opened wide and looked over at you, his face asking if it was ok?

“Yeah! He loves bananas!” You confirmed and watched as Beel sweetly offered his banana to the bird to take a nibble.

Asmodeus

Unfortunately the first experience Asmo had with your parrot was when it pooped on him. He was not a fan.

The next unfortunate misunderstanding was when the parrot chased him, naturally he ran, not wanting to be pooped on again and that only added to the chase.

“Asmo, you have to stop running, he thinks you’re playing!”

“But MC! He’ll do unspeakable things to me!” Asmo was close to tears.

“Ok, ok, come here,” You opened your arms and he dived towards you. Swiftly you caught Asmo in a hug and the parrot swooped in and landed on your shoulder.

The pair came face to face as Asmo peeked a look, “Pretty boy!” the parrot squawked. When Asmo’s face softened, you didn’t have the heart to tell him that was something you told your pet and not something the parrot was noting of Asmo.

Satan

Originally intrigued by the little guy.

He was somewhat familiar with the behaviors of cats but he didn’t know much about birds

You’re excited to share all the tricks and phrases you’ve taught your bird buddy as Satan takes notes.

Satan has a lot of questions and you answer the best you can but you’re no expert so you promise to get a bird book for him.

With a scratch of his chin, he asks, “And why is he so attached to you?”

You laugh, “I’m assuming it’s because he loves me but it’s probably because I’m the one who gives him treats.”

Leviathan

He didn’t have a strong feeling towards the bird one way or the other at first.

When the bird picks up the intro tune to one of his animes, his interest starts to grow.

He thought it was cute and happened to catch it on video one day. When he posted it online, it blew up.

Levi tried to teach your parrot other tunes but lost interest when there wasn’t an immediate turn around.

The first time he saw the happy dancing of your parrot, his interest was back lol.

He can be caught bopping along with your parrot if there was ever a time they were left alone together.

Mammon

I feel like he would dislike the bird (mainly for drawing your attention away from him) but the bird actually really likes playing with him.

Mammon always has something interesting to the bird whether it’s his feather keychain or his glasses or some shiny trinket.

Your parrot likes tapping the side of Mammon’s glasses to get his attention.

He’s pretty good at handling the bird and when asked he admits to taking care of a crow without Lucifer’s knowledge so that stays between the two of you.

He definitely talks to the parrot like any other being, “Oy!” He points an accusatory finger at your parrot, “Knock it off with the nipping!” and thus the parrot takes a nibble at his finger.

Although he talks a big game, he secretly loves that you two can be bird parents together.

Lucifer

His pride takes a hit that he, the right-hand to the crown prince of Devildom, has to compete for your attention with a parrot.

Oh the withering looks he gives as your pet screeches for your care.

He does know a thing or two about wing care though. XD

He also knows exactly the right spots for scritches near and on the wings and your parrot is putty in his hands, that boosts his previously wounded pride just a bit.

I think he would secretly spoil your parrot as an extension of spoiling you. 

Deep down he’s a big softie for animals so extra toys and treats find their way into the house.

Luke

Luke liked the bird initially until it screeched at him.

From then on he was kind of scared even if he wouldn’t admit it. 

It’d take a lot of coaxing to get him to pet your parrot but I think you could convince him eventually.

He enjoys how you gush about all the things your pet can do and so he starts to warm back up.

Slowly he gets back to being comfortable and the next time there is an unexpected screech, he’s better prepared.

He starts watching parrot videos online and looking up treats he could make that were safe for parrots.

Solomon

I feel like he knows some things about birds but isn’t particularly fond of animals in general, not that he hates them but doesn’t really get the hype.

You with a parrot on your shoulder is pretty cute though.

Solomon smiles as you play with the parrot, the two of you bouncing. He’ll sneak a picture, just for him.

If you ask him, he’ll play along too.

Through watching you care for your bird, he’ll start to understand the bond between pets and their owners.

Eventually does get interested in the diet of your pet but you assure many times that it’s being taken care of and that he doesn’t need to concern himself with it on top of his studies.

Simeon

Secretly loves birds but he couldn’t keep one as a pet in the celestial realm.

Absolutely beams the first time your parrot hops over to him to investigate.

Giggles when his hair gets pulled for attention but lovingly pets the tiny bird head.

Even with his limited technological knowledge, he takes a lot of pictures. He wants to be able to remember this time when he goes back.

He would absolutely relish the opportunity to take care of your parrot if there was ever a need and I’d trust him to do a good job. 

Offers to help take care of anything related to the bird for you definitely not to act like it’s his pet for a short amount of time.

Barbatos

He’s hard to impress but appreciates the refreshing sight of you smiling at your pet.

Barbatos is pretty knowledgeable so he knows what foods are ok to give to your parrot so he always has them on hand when you come around.

He smiles at you as your attention is on scolding the bird for biting at Barbatos. He wasn’t hurt, but he appreciates your concern.

You get a chuckle out of him when he catches you and the parrot in a game of chase.

Once the bird warms up to Barbatos, he chirps at Barbatos to get the treats he’s learned Barbatos usually has.

May make a toy for the bird, and even if your pet is typically picky about toys, he loves this handmade one.

Diavolo

He’s obsessed. He loves animals and he loves you so it’s all heart eyes for him.

He has Barbatos prepare treats for you and your parrot when you come to visit.

Adores your demonstration of tricks and claps at the end.

He asks if he can hold or pet your bird and of course you say yes. Your parrot’s reaction was to bite at the unknown fingers and Diavolo just laughs.

“He’s spunky, I like it!” 

For sure gets toys to try out for each time you visit and whether your parrot plays with the toys or not, he just enjoys the time spent with you two.

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #my writing #obey me headcanons #obey me luke #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #god they would spoil this bird so hard

[mammons-tax-returns]

How would the brothers react to a very punk goth Mc like platforms and all black and just the whole shebang he’s very nice but also will throw hands (there’s not enough male Mc your doing the good work my dude)

BROTHERS REACTING TO A GOTH/PUNK MC

Perfect way to start off the new blog !! Thank you for requesting, hope this is what you had in mind <3 (and that it’s not too apparent that i’m not super well versed in punk or goth culture ACK)

I hope that you guys don’t mind some being shorter than others, I’m still getting a hang of personalities!

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

Lucifer is probably one of the ones that’s into the style from the very beginning.

As soon as he sees MC, his interest is clearly shown on his face.

Sometimes, he’ll drop compliments on his fashion. Depending on his reponses, he’ll start getting more apparent with just how much he enjoys seeing his outfit everyday.

GIFTS!! He’s not mammon level of stacks upon stacks of gift wrapped boxes, but he’ll certainly stop by your room every once in a while with a new accessory he saw while shopping.

MC will probably notice that he is especially keen on chokers :).

Stares discreetly, but consistently. When Lucifer invites him to listen to music in his room, he waits until MC is occupied with something like a book or the music. Then sneaks glances at him to see how his clothing moves every time he reaches over for something, or how the necklace he bought the other day glints in the light radiating off of the fireplace.

He knows that MC is nice, and grows increasingly more and more worried for his sake because of that. The exchange program is important, but his treasure perpetually adorned in black garbs is significantly more prominent in his concerns.

So when he sees MC readily defending himself against some low level demon with no hesitation? Holy fuck. He starts to panic, but there’s nothing surpressing his respect for him, as it only grows stronger.

Although, it becomes very apparent that he’d have to do something about all of his brothers’ staring at MC.

Mammon is so into it. Like... So into it.

We all know and love that our tsundere boy has a problem with getting embarrassed, but how could he NOT get flustered everytime he’s face to face with an alternative KING

At first, he actually tries to tell MC how much he appreciates his aesthetic, but fails every time. Stuttering is a difficult thing to overcome when you can barely breathe out of embarrassment.

When he finally brings himself to actually get a compliment out, it’s accompanied with his signature bashful look. Downcast gaze and shifting posture and everything.

Upon recieving a positive response to his words, he takes it as a sign that he should start doing it more often. And so... That’s exactly what he does!

Compliments upon compliments, expensive outfits and accessories finding their way into his room, MC gets it all.

He ADORES the nice personality. So really. This MC is one of the people that Mammon can’t help but get along with. Nice, can throw hands, AND IS FASHIONABLE? Now you’re speaking his language.

They definitely get called a model power couple, even if MC isn’t a model.

Will definitely mention the idea of MC doing a photoshoot with him for work, but won’t press further if he says he’s not comfortable with it.

Levi geeks out so badly

So yeah, his initial interest in MC is kickstarted by his fashion reminding him of a badass video game character, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate him for who he is!!

He actually doesn’t know whether to be sad that he doesn’t have the same amount of fashion sense or to be happy that he has MC as his best friend that does.

But after a bit of positive affirmation from MC, he’ll surely settle with the latter. (and also hope for them to become more than best friends :). )

He finds himself subconsciously posting about MC in his socials. Normally it’s filled with “Lucifer just did (blank)” but now, it’s ALL about MC. Nothing else. MC fan account.

We know that Levi draws, and so I have no doubts that he would be drawing every outfit he sees MC in.

At first, he’s only drawing faceless figures in the clothes, probably adding his own personal flair. But as time progresses and Levi gets closer to him, he starts subconsciously conpleting the figure’s appearance (hair, face, stature, etc). And before he knows it, half of his pages are filled with doodles of MC.

But if he were to ever find out that MC saw his art, RIP Leviathan 2020

And who’s to say he’s not drawing him in... Risqué outfits.

But if MC says that he doesn’t mind getting drawn, then Levi will activate cute fanboy mode again.

He’ll ask him to model outfits for him as he draws, sometimes in cosplay.

MC would just be chillin’ with him in his room, and when Levi finally looks up from his tv after finishing an anime, he’ll sometimes gasp and immediately say, “Stay right there, I HAVE to draw this!”

Although drawing wasn’t and will likely never be his favorite thing to do in comparison to video games/anime, it gives him an excuse to stare at his best friend with minimal blushing.

Satan is good at hiding his appreciation for MC’s outfits. At least, he’s good at it to everyone BUT MC.

If anyone asks, he’s indifferent about MC and his dashing looks and fashion.

But as soon as MC confronts him... Oh boy.

Red-faced, he’ll compliment his clothing on occasion, then wave it off as “something everyone does”. Which is true, but we know that it’s more than just that.

Similarly to Lucifer, he finds himself staring at him secretly. Except, I like to think that he’s less careful about it. Often MC will look up to meet his eyes, before he ducks his head back into his book, acting nonchalant.

Not a single person can convince me that he hasn’t found a stray black cat and discreetly named it after MC.

He wouldn’t hide the fact, but instead would actually bring it up at the right time. Ex: Right before some dramantic moment like before proclaiming how much MC means to him. Both as the cat and human.

The cat’s collars are decorated similarly to the clothing that MC wears! Satan is a diligent worker (especially when putting lucifer through immense stress) and a lover of arts, so he’s pays attention to little details like that.

This is Asmo we’re talking about.

He ADORES the aesthetic.

It’s not something that he himself would wear, but damn is it appealing to the eye.

Once you get him started on all the things he’d do if given the chance to dress MC up in whatever he wanted, you’ll never hear the end of it.

(^ especially when he starts talking about the undressing)

He loves a monochromatic color pallet, but every once in a while he’ll push for a pop of color in MC’s outfit for the day.

If MC wears minimal/no makeup, Asmo will constantly ask if he can use his face as a canvas for makeup experimentation while he rants about his nail tech.

Asmo’s favorite activity is going through MC’s closet. He gets to not only try things on, but he also gets to know what he has to work with when choosing MC’s outfits for their days out together.

Knows the perfect boutiques to bring him to

“You know, the color black really accentuates your figure... And if you look this good with it on, I wonder how great you look with it off~”

Beel isn’t interested in fashion or anything related to it. He isn’t picky about the presentation of things (namely; food.)

So he wouldn’t be immediately enticed upon first meeting MC.

But that is not to say that he doesn’t find him VERY pleasing to the eye.

Our sweet boy is not afraid to express his love for those boots!! For the destressed fabrics!! He hangs around him often just so he can sit and ogle at how cool MC looks!! All the damn time!!

Asks MC to come with him to work out just so he could have some motivation by seeing him. And his GAMES. He’s gonna love to see him cheering him on in the stands.

Beel would admit that he himself couldn’t bring himself to care so much about his clothes or ‘aesthetic’ , and couldn’t imagine having such a consistent style.

^ And because of that! He’s dying to see what he looks like in other styles. Of course, if he doesn’t want to change out of the usual attire, just seeing him wearing beel’s huge ass jacket is enough.

Wouldn’t care to buy clothing items for him, but will most certainly stop by devildom’s no. 1 bakery, grab some sweets with that signature gothic devildom appearance and bring it back to the House of Lamentation for him. (Given that he didn’t already eat them.)

In comparison to his personality, MC’s closet isn’t very important.

Beel loves his kind nature! But he will always be there to defend him in any sort of risky situation, especially when any low level demons would like to try and take advantage of MC’s niceness.

Belphie is taken aback the first time he sees him. In the best way possible.

It’s like he just knows that he’s going to be interesting to be with just by seeing his clothing style

He actually probably assumed that MC would be very different from what he’s really like. (Like how people will assume that everyone who wears dark colors often are always sad)

But both to his surprise and not, MC is nothing but kind to him! And he’s kinda like 😳. Damn. Alright. I can get down to this.

Fashion isn’t his expertise, so he isn’t as forward with compliments. It’s mostly, “As long as I’m comfortable when I lay on you, the clothes are fine. Right?”

“I had a dream about you last night... It was like you were some prince clad in black chain mail armor... I suppose we couldn’t make that a reality though, huh? You can be my prince in band tees and ripped jeans.”

The only reason he starts dressing similarly to MC is because of how many times he’ll fall asleep beside him. He knows MC will probably offer one of his jackets or extra shirts, and that he’ll likely get to keep it. (He gives it back eventually, it’s just nice sentiment.)

It’s also kind of entertaining to see some of his brothers go ballistic in response to seeing him adorned in MC’s signature clothes.

#obey me reactions #obey me imagines #obey me male reader #obey me x male reader #obey me beelzebub #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor

[joonsrack]

Masterpiece | KTH x KNJ

+PAIRING: Kim Taehyung x Kim Namjoon

+GENRE: Oneshot, crack, angst, smidge of smut, College AU, stranger to lover

+WORD COUNT: ~13k

+RATING: 18+

+WARNING: Taehyung has face blindness, NSFW, (very) foul language, overuse of the word penis and it’s synonyms, pinning, misunderstandings, Namjoon is like real’ dumb, a little hanky panky but nothing scandalous.

+SUMMARY: 

“So let me recap here, you don’t know his name, his major, his department, his age, his number, nor his face. The only clue you have is this drawing, which basically looks like a textbook example of unrealistic body expectations. You apparently know every nook and cranny of his [REDACTED], but you didn’t have the decency to ask his name? You deserve this.” He cackles, angering Taehyung.

(OR the one where Taehyung has face blindness but that won't stop him from finding love. )

+A/N: Well, it’s been almost a year since I’ve posted anything, and almost as much time since i last wrote anything (except for the occasional guilt writing lmao). So this is me coming back with a vengeance (and the dumbest thing i’ve ever written). This is all thanks to (or to be blamed on) @minloop who put up with my non-stop messaging, gave me some plot ideas, and actually inspired me to finish this in three days. Thank you to my baby @emojihobi​ for the emotional support and the beta reading 💖

+Disclaimer: I got all my info on face blindness from google searches, so please forgive any inaccuracy.

Face blindness has definitely made Taehyung’s life difficult. 

There’s the obvious problem of not being able to recognize your parents. Remember this childhood trauma of holding a random stranger’s hands in the mall, thinking it’s your mother or father? Taehyung had to live through that many, many times; except he wouldn’t realize until said stranger would shake his hand off, or until his parents would swoop in to get him. The fact that he’s never been kidnapped is down to pure luck, really.

Making friends, you guessed it, has also been a challenge. It’s difficult explaining to kids why you ignored them when you saw each other in the hallway. Kids don’t always understand “I didn’t recognize you” as an explanation, especially if you’ve been in the same class since pre-k.

But this? This is a new and unforeseen crisis.

+

 His dorm room is very quiet, which is not unusual since he has a solo room. But he’s pretty sure he went to sleep with a plus one, and said plus one is nowhere to be seen. 

Now, he isn’t a stranger to one-night stands sneaking out after he falls asleep. He likes to take night conquests to his dorm room for this exact reason; He can go right to sleep, while they take themselves out. Easy breezy no string attached-y. That’s usually the way he wants it to be. 

But this time is different. Last night was different. Last night, Taehyung had the best night of his life, hands down. Best bangs of his existence. Bangs plural because they went more than once. How that’s even possible when his teenage years are long gone and days with multiple orgasms are less and less common, he has no idea.

He’s probably ruined for anyone else. Nothing could ever compare to the night he just spent getting his back blown out. 

Now, Taehyung is a sculptor. A very gifted one at that (if his teachers’ praises are anything to go by). Taehyung knows body proportions, knows perfect rations, all that stuff. He knows it on marble bodies, in sketches, in painting. Not on actual human beings.

Until last night.

Last night, he witnessed the body of a god. He scratched at perfect skin, held on to beautifully defined and strong arms, rode perfect thighs. Last night, he shed a tear at the view of some perfect knees. Last night, he realized that art truly imitates nature. 

And that’s not all.

Taehyung can admit he owns a nice dick; it’s decently shaped, the color is nice, and the size is slightly over average. 

But what he witnessed the night before?

The Narcissus of dicks; the most beautiful dick on the planet. The most beautiful dick in history . Probably even prettier than Narcissus’ face himself. (But Taehyung doesn’t know what Narcissus' face looks like, so he’s only assuming.) 

From the perfect red color of its beautifully shaped head to the gracefully intertwined veins leading to a sturdy looking hilt, peppered with well-kept pubic hair, ending in an exquisitely wrinkled ballsack. The girth was over average; big enough to make size queens (such as Taehyung) salivate, but not big enough to scare away enthusiasts. And the length? The dude is lucky he’s a grower and not a show-er, or he would never know peace. Mainly because the likes of Taehyung or Park Jimin would never let him be.

But where is that most perfect penis right now? 

Attached to its perfectly shaped and mysterious owner, probably miles away.

Very problematic, indeed.

+

“So what you’re saying is, you fell asleep, and when you woke up he was gone? Isn’t that how it’s usually supposed to go?” Yoongi sounds disgruntled on the other end of the face call, face half mushed in his pillow, hair disheveled and eyes squinty. It’s not yet 1 pm after all, which is still considered morning for people like Min Yoongi.

“Noooo, not this time.” Taehyung whines,” This time he was supposed to stick around and ask me to marry him in the morning. Isn’t that obvious? We went at it four times for fuck sake, doesn’t that mean anything anymore?”

Jimin chokes on his matcha oatmeal milk latte, eyes going wide. “Four times?! Now that is a monster stamina. He basically squeezed your balls dry.” There’s a pause, then he says to someone off-camera, “It’s rude to stare, ma’am.”

“Stop ruining my morning with your screaming,” Yoongi grunts out, rubbing his eyes. “So what do you want us to do about this?”

Taehyung fumbles around his desk for a moment, looking through his piles of sketches until he finds it, his only clue.

“Do you two know this man?” He asks, pulling out a sketch he did quickly off his memory of the mystery man’s body. He pulls out a second one, this one is a close-up of his perfect penis. He might have gone off tangent with the shading, but he couldn't stop himself, that dick deserves all the shading.

“Jesus fuck.” Yoongi signs.

“Baby, I’m sure you’re aware that if I knew anyone with a body and a dick like that, you would never have been able to put your dirty paws on him.”

Taehyung turns hopeful eyes to Yoongi after glaring at Jimin for a good 10 seconds, but Yoongi only shakes his head no.

“I don’t have a habit of making my friends strip around me, sadly. I wouldn’t be able to tell even if I knew him.”

“You two are useless” Taehyung signs, his body deflating. Yoongi takes offense and hangs up. Or maybe he was going to hang up either way.

“So let me recap here, you don’t know his name, his major, his department, his age, his number, nor his face. The only clue you have is this drawing, which basically looks like a textbook example of unrealistic body expectations. You apparently know every nook and cranny of his penis, but you didn’t have the decency to ask his name? You deserve this.” He cackles, angering Taehyung. 

“I was busy sucking his dick, asshole.” He spits, but Jimin only snorts in answer.

“Good luck finding the owner of Mystery Penis.” He quips back, before hanging up as well.

+

All hope is lost. Never in his life has he despised his face blindness as much as he does right now. Of course, it’s never been easy dealing with it throughout his life. He’s lucky he has two solid friends he can count on. Although Jimin regularly dyes and changes his hairstyle without warning to mess with him. And Yoongi basically has two hours of availability per week, usually arranged around his sleeping schedule. 

But he knows they care for him, and he cares for them. 

He drags his feet to class. He uses ‘class’ lightly; being a third-year means most of his courses are spent in the workshop, working on his graduate exhibition. 

He’s got his trusty overalls on, covered in clay stains. He’s been working with clay for the last few weeks, using the medium for two of his exhibition pieces. 

He greets his teacher at the front desk with a nod, before making his way to his desk. Today’s playlist consists of oldies, and he makes it to his desk just as Lionel Richie’s voice fills the room. 

He snorts, rolling his eyes.

Hello is a classic of sculpting classes. No matter the teacher or the Instructor, they all love to play that song on repeat, and he usually doesn’t pay it any mind. But right now, isn’t there a more perfect song to taunt him?

Lionel Richie asks if it’s him he’s looking for, as he’s pulling his tool out of his bag. He unwraps the plastic wrap from around the latest project he’s been working on, already planning his next move. 

He’s pretty sure the sculpting world is all over that song only because of the music video.

It’s obvious that the whole ‘blind girl sculpting’ thing– 

Oh.

Oh dear god. The music video. 

The music video.

Taehyung has an idea.

His hands move before he can fully realize the plan in his head, rewrapping his project, and getting some new clay from the front of the class.

His teacher looks him up and down in all his frantic and excited glory.

 “A sudden stroke of inspiration?” He questions, sounding curious.

“Something like that.” Taehyung smiles, trying to act inconspicuous. His teacher won’t let him take the clay if it’s not for his graduate exhibition.

He makes it back to his station without any more inquiry and starts to work right away.

Jimin was right, he does know every nook and cranny of that penis. He spent hours getting acquainted with it, and he has an excellent memory (Except for faces, obviously).

All the other students are too busy working on their final projects to notice the massive penis under construction a few feet from them. If anyone asks, Taehyung will proudly answer that it’s a life-sized depiction. But no one is asking, so he simply works on bringing the piece to life. The students in his class rarely talk to him, since he hasn’t gone out of his way to develop any type of relationship with them. It’s easier like that.

Once he’s done, many hours later, he’s alone in the workshop with the sun setting outside.

He ogles proudly at his masterpiece, the erect penis standing tall on his station, truly a creature of beauty. It’s a perfect replica, down to the ballsack wrinkles; down to the cute mole at the hilt. Of course, it’s clay-colored, and it probably won't change since Taehyung hates painting his creations, but he’s absolutely certain that everything else is exactly like the original.

The oven has been preheating for a while, so it’s hot and ready to bake some penis. The only thing left is to leave it to cure for a while. Any ol’ regular penis would have taken less than an hour to cure, but we’re talking about a monster cock here. 

He pops it into the oven, sets a timer, just in time for a knock at the door to pull him out of his penis-induced craze.

“Yo, Tae,” Yoongi’s voice resonates from the door frame.

Taehyung grabs a rag from his station to clean his hand with before making his way to his friend. There’s someone with him, and Yoongi signals at his friend with a lazy wave of his hand. 

“Remember Namjoon?” He asks, but it’s a rhetorical question. Jimin and Yoongi have taken to the habit of identifying the people they’re with, so Taehyung doesn't have to embarrass himself trying to figure it out on his own. That way, they don’t have to explain his condition to every single person that isn’t in his immediate friend circle. 

(Is it even a circle if it’s two people?) 

He sends a nod in Namjoon’s way and gets a wave back, and that’s as far as their exchange goes, as usual. Except today, his whole body language reads nervous and tense. But that’s none of Taehyung’s business.

“We’re going to see some juniors perform in a pub, you want to come with?” Yoongi asks him, and Taehyung knows he means well, but he also knows that Yoongi knows he doesn’t like crowded spaces. 

He and Jimin have tried to get him to go out more, but the only time Taehyung steps foot inside any type of alcohol selling establishment is when he wants to get laid. And there’s only one place he goes to then; that crappy little Bar near campus that’s only frequented by broke students who also want to get laid. 

He doesn’t like anywhere that’s dark where there’s enough people to make him lose sight of his friends. Something about losing his parents at the mall one too many times.

“That sounds nice, but I have to finish this piece I’m working on.” He answers, trying to sound as regretful as he can. It doesn’t really work, judging by Yoongi’s unconvinced humming. 

“Alright, careful when you go back home.” Yoongi finally answers, patting him on the shoulder. 

He starts walking away, but his friend, Namjoon, stays frozen on the spot, facing him. He’s looking at Taehyung in some kind of way, but face blindness makes it hard for him to read other’s expressions. He raises a single eyebrow in interrogation, and that seems to make Namjoon snap out of it. He turns on his heel without as much as a goodbye, which, rude .

“'Kay, bye.” He mutters after him.

But he can’t hold it against him. He knows that ‘Namjoon’ has been a long-time friend of Yoongi and that they’ve spent some time together by association. Taehyung doesn’t go out of his way to get to know new people, so there’s a high chance Namjoon might have tried to approach him with friendship in mind, only to end up frustrated by Taehyung’s lack of interest. Happens all the time. He can’t really help it, reading intentions is not in his toolbox.

He should probably tell Yoongi to share his ‘secret’ with Namjoon. He seems nice enough from what he heard, so he would probably be understanding. It should at least clear up the misunderstanding, and Taehyung might even gain a new friend, who knows?

He makes his way back to his station, works on his actual project while the oven takes care of making his penis nice and hard. 

+

The next morning, he wakes up to ten texts from Jimin, one from Yoongi, and multiple missed calls and voicemail from his workshop teacher.

 Asshole with pink hair:

9:40 am    ur crazy

9:40 am    CRAZY

9:40 am    This is hilarious

9:41 am    That’s why i love u

9:41 am    That is a beautiful dick

9:41 am    Like it was nice on paper, but the 3D version definitely makes me wonder about its  owner

10:26 am  All the student body is buzzing about the mystery penis

10:27 am  It’s on the front page of the school newspaper

10:27 am  omg you dumbass u didnt write your number

10:27 am  you didn't write your number anywhere brb dying of laughter

Hyungie:

11:32 am  You didnt write your infos dumb dumb

Taehyung bangs his head on his pillow, hoping for quick death. How could he forget to write down his infos? How is anyone supposed to contact him?

+

Namjoon has come to learn quickly that university isn’t always the most sanest place on the planet. Cramming, into a single building, that amount of genius with that amount of insanity is bound to create interesting events.

He’s stopped being surprised by most things, might be guilty of doing some of those surprising things from time to time. But today? Today is on a whole new level.

Somehow, his dick is plastered all over the school, in every hallway, on every door. Think Regina George distributing the burn book copy all over school but, multiplied by 50, that’s how many pictures of his dick are distributed around school right now. Not an actual picture of his actual dick, but an actual picture of an actual clay replica, with big bold yellow letters spelling out 'HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PENIS?', and nothing else.

It’s vaguely threatening.

He wishes he couldn’t tell that it’s his penis, then maybe he could laugh with the rest of the student body. But there’s no mistaking it. One look and he knew. The person who printed those flyers made sure to include all the possible angles, too. 

It’s 100% his dick. 

The slight curve is there, the mole is there, everything is there.

The intentions of the maker are unclear, but there’s one thing for sure: he knows exactly who’s behind it. He only knows one sculptor who has seen his penis, and that’s the current bane of his life, Kim Taehyung.

It’s not enough that Taehyung has been completely ignoring his existence before their night of passion together, he’s also been ignoring him after. 

And now this? Plastering his dick all over school? For absolutely no reason? Did he not like the night they spent together? Was this a great big ploy to make fun of him? Is this Taehyung’s way to reject him? To tell him to stay away from him? He knows he’s never been really subtle with his crush, but isn’t this going way too far? 

At least he had the very, very basic decency to forgo his name from the flyers, or Namjoon might have had to run away to the next town. 

Namjoon is not dumb, he knows his ancient Greece lore and what they thought about big dicks.

Taehyung didn’t write this so people would look at the dick, he’s obviously calling him a dick.  And for what, pinning on him for the last year? Can’t a man have a crush in peace?

Maybe he shouldn't have approached Taehyung that night. 

One thing is for sure, Taehyung is sending him a very clear message to stay away from him.

+

He spent a fortune printing all those hands out, and now he has to reprint them all? Taehyung knows very well he can’t afford another round of mass printing. Plus the librarian probably won’t ever let him walk into the library again. She had to come and refill the printer at least three times in the hour he was there. The environmental club was even called on scene by one of the students waiting for his turn at the printer. Talk about a snitch.

He can’t afford to reprint everything, and there’s no way he’ll go around school writing his number by hand.

He listens to the voicemails from his teacher then, uncovering a new hurdle.

The first one goes like this:

"Kim Taehyung I know it’s you, you left that thing on your desk."

Then the second:

"Kim Taehyung, you will take down these handouts right this instant before the Dean can see them, you hear me? He'll put you on probation and my head on a stick."

Taehyung muffles his groans into his pillow. Maybe it’s a good thing he forgot to include his number. He should have thought of that before.

He throws on some clothes, heeding his teacher’s warning. He better get to school quickly.

He texts Yoongi and Jimin to take down as many as they can if they want to see him live for another day. Yoongi doesn’t answer and Jimin only texts back asking if he can keep one for his room.

Some friend circle he’s got there.

He makes it onto campus in under half an hour, and gets to work, taking them down as quickly as he can.

He’s got only a few hallways left to do when someone taps him sharply on the shoulder. He spins around, dreading the moment he comes face to face with the Dean. Not that he could recognize the Dean.

“Are you the Dean?” He stammers in a small voice.

“What? No- you. I swear to god. Just tell me if you hate me that much.” Stranger says, before putting his long leg to good use, striding away from him. He throws a bunched-up flyer on the floor before disappearing down the hallway as quickly as he’s appeared.

Taehyung is stunned for a good minutes, utterly confused

The voice sounds similar, but other than that he has no idea who just spit those words at him. He doesn’t hate anyone, and he doesn't see why anyone would believe he has those kinds of ill feelings towards them.

+

Now that his plan has miserably failed, Taehyung falls into hopelessness once again. He lays in bed, holding his precious sculpture to himself. It’s the only thing he has left from his fateful encounter. Or he thought it was fate, but now he’s wondering if that was life making fun of him. 

Jimin is laying by his side, examining the sketch of the body with clear interest. It’s making Taehyung feel a little possessive. 

“Maybe you should try again in the school gym, no one gets a body like that from not going to the gym. You could say you’re looking for a model or something.”

Taehyung stares at his friend with all the admiration he can muster. 

“I would kiss you so hard right now.”

“We tried that once, remember?”

“Yes, and that’s why I won’t be doing it, but I would, just so you know.”

“Cool.” 

He snatches the sketch out of Jimin’s hands to get to work on the shading, trying to get his drawing as realistic looking as possible. Making a whole body out of clay would take too long, so Taehyung will have to settle for his sketch. 

Once he’s done, some 30 minutes have passed. He whirl around on his desk chair, waving the sketch around successfully, only to stop dead in his tracks. He finds Jimin with his precious sculpture halfway down his throat.

“Jimin!” He exclaims, fuming. “Get your dirty mouth off my penis!”

Jimin startles and chokes in surprise, but then bursts out laughing once the sculpture is safely out of his mouth.

“Sorry, sorry. I was just really curious about the size. You never cease to amaze me.”

Taehyung snatches his precious phallus back, grabbing some tissues to wipe off Jimin's drool.

“If I can’t find him, this is going up my ass, so don’t touch it.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jimin grimaces, rearranging himself on the bed. He grabs his phone to waste some time, probably ignoring his other responsibilities as the end of their final semester is quickly approaching. “You want to end up in the emergency room? Just use it to make a mold and replicate it with some silicon at least.” 

Taehyung raises both eyebrows in astonishment.

“Jimin, your genius never ceases to amaze me.”

+

He successfully drags Jimin with him to the campus gym. Normally the prospect of hot sweaty people grunting, in various states of undress would attract Jimin like a bee to honey, but since he’s already banged or broken up with half the people that go there, Taehyung has to keep a firm hold on his friend’s wrist.

“Why do I have to come with you again?” 

“It was your idea, so you’re taking responsibility.”

“I don’t like taking my responsibilities, they suck,” Jimin grumbles, but he stops trying to run away.

The moment they step into the gym, they’re assaulted by the musky smell of sweat and determination. There’s a high volume of people working out, probably wanting to channel their end-of-semester jitters into iron pumping. 

Taehyung spots the front desk, putting his business smile on while reaching into his folder. He hears Jimin greet someone, going off by himself, but Taehyung bears him no mind and heads straight for the Woman working the counter.

“Hi there,” he says, charm on, “ I was wondering if you could help me out,-”

“Yes you can put your flyers up, no you don’t have to pay for it, no we won’t take it down before the end of the semester, yes I do have some tape.” She says without missing a beat, not looking up at him.

“Damn, maybe I’m here because I want to sign up for a membership.” 

She finally looks up from her computer, assessing Taehyung from head to toe.

“No you don’t babe. Here’s the tape.” She says, handing him the tape while blowing a bubble with her pink gum. Multitasking at its finest.

Taehyung doesn’t feel like taking her on a debate, so he gets hold of the roll of tape and gets to work, spotting where other people left their flyers so he can put his right by them. 

He scans the gym once or twice with a quick look, trying to see if, by a stroke of luck, Mystery Man could be there. No one that is shirtless has the body he’s looking for, and he sadly doesn’t have x-ray vision to check the rest. No amount of wishing as a kid made him grow that ability.

He puts up the first flyer, this time containing all his info, and stares at it proudly. He's got a good feeling about this.

Jimin finds him again as he’s putting up his last flyer, sounding excited about something.

“I had no idea Namjoon worked out. He’s got nice arms hidden beneath those sweatshirts.”

“Namjoon? Yoongi’s friend?”

“Yeah! And he changed his hair color, it looks really good on him. A little lighter than he used to have.”

Taehyung nods along, not really pressed to know more. He’s got other fish to fry.

+

Namjoon slowly counts to 30 after seeing Taehyung leave the premises, before he basically sprints to the nearest wall, spotting the flyers Taehyung has put up.

There’s a sketch on it, a sketch of a body. A body that looks strangely like his. He frowns, before reading the caption.

“Sculpting student looking for body model. Body must look like this. Call XXX-XXX-XXXX. Food as compensation. ”

Namjoon cannot believe his eyes. Taehyung knows he’s got that exact body type, yet he didn’t ask for his help. If he needed any other confirmation that Taehyung hates him, there’s one right there.

Just what did he do to the man to make him hate him so much? 

Since he’s confronted him in the hallway, Taehyung still hasn’t reached out to him. It would be easy to do. He knows Taehyung has his number, they exchanged it when they first met, so nothing is stopping him. Unless he’s happy with the way things are.

+

Maybe Jimin is not as much of a genius as he thought. By the sixth person that walks in to be a body model, he realizes this is getting expensive in food bribes and studio fees. He has also stopped putting up the pretense of wanting to sketch anyone anymore. 

But this time, It’s one Jung Hoseok who walks in.

“Have we slept together before?” He asks right off the bat, tired of wasting his precious time. It’s his new modus operandi; invite them in, ask the burning question, then send them on their way with the promised food to avoid complaints. 

“I don’t believe so, but maybe we should fix that,” Hoseok answers, taking off his shirt.

“What are you doing?”

“Your flyers have a nude body on it, you made me come to a private studio, isn’t this a nude modeling thing?” Hoseok questions, but doesn’t stop undressing. He’s already reaching for his belt. 

Something tells Taehyung this man would be really sad to be told to put his clothes back on. The way he’s unapologetically getting naked tells Taehyung everything he needs to know. 

“So, why are you asking?” He inquires while posing, everything hanging loose and stuff. “Is that how you get laid? Asking hot dudes to model, then seducing them once they’re naked and vulnerable?”

Jung Hoseok doesn’t seem to be feeling very vulnerable right now, but Taehyung keeps that to himself.

“God no. Jesus that would be sleazy of me.”

“Not as sleazy as asking me if we’ve slept together 5 seconds into our first meeting.” Hoseok points out.

“ Touché. ” He admits, a soft chuckle escaping him.

Hoseok doesn’t press him for an answer, and they spend the next few minutes in silence, the only sound coming from Taehyung's pencil on the thick page of his sketchbook.

Jung Hoseok, standing confidently in front of him in all of his naked glory, has a certain aura around him. The way he holds himself, no hesitation to bare it all, head held high; it's like he never had to hide anything in his life. Like he never knew shame. To the point where it inspires Taehyung to utter the next words:

“I have face blindness.” He starts off, which gets his model’s attention. He keeps his eyes down on his paper to avoid eye contact, feeling rusty when it comes to revealing this part of himself. He continues quickly, “I had a one-night stand with this– perfect greek god. He had the perfect penis, too. Best sex of my life.” He's making good progress on his sketch, Hoseok’s body graceful and easy to put on paper. “I’m trying to find him, but I don’t know anything about him, and I can’t tell people’s faces apart." He chuckles deprecatingly, "The only clue I have is the way his body looks. So I put up this ad for body models hoping he would show up.”

Hoseok breaks his pose to slap his hands together, then pointing at him. “Oh my god, are you the one that plastered the whole school with the penis sculpture a few days ago? Was that your version of a ‘Wanted’ poster?”

Taehyung feels his cheeks warm up.

“Yeah, but I almost lost my diploma over that so let’s not mention it.”

Hoseok laughs with his whole body, clapping his hands together a few more times as if to express his excitement.

“That was the best thing to ever happen on this campus since 1993, thank you for that.”

His statement piques Taehyung's interest.

“What happened in 1993?” He asks, expecting anything but what comes outs of Hoseok's mouth next.

“My mom and dad conceived me in the bathroom of the literature wing.”

Taehyung chortles, surprising even himself with how loud it is.

“Now that’s a conception story worth telling your kids.”

“They didn't tell me; They got caught and got expelled the next day. They framed their expulsion letter, it’s still on display in the kitchen.” Hoseok’s voice is dripping with fondness, betraying his love for his family. “The thing is, I learned how to read at a very early age.”

Taehyung is possessed by another wave of uncontrollable laughter. He wipes a stray tear from his eyes, taking a second to compose himself.

“There, you’re looking a little better now. “

Taehyung looks up at the man, standing there in his birthday suit, going out of his way to cheer him up even though they’re perfect strangers.

(Maybe not so perfect since he’s seen him naked, but still.)

He chuckles again, going back to his sketching.

“Wait does this mean you don’t actually need models right now?”

“Well yeah," Taehyung answers, shrugging his shoulders, "But you looked like you would be really disappointed if I told you to stop undressing, so I just went along with it.”

Hoseok nods his agreement, going back into his original position.

“Good call. Now that we’re here you better get the shading of my calves right. They’re my pride and glory.”

“On it.”

+

Who would have thought that this whole ordeal would have somehow turned into Taehyung making a new friend.

He looks at the contact number in his phone staring back at him. It’s written 'Jung Hoseok' with a little sun emoji. He’s told him everything he needs to know to avoid misunderstandings, and Hoseok left with the promise to always greet him first when they see each other in the hallway. It’s sad that he only met the man in his last stretch before getting his degree, but as they say: better late than never.

He’s excited to get to know Hoseok, but he doesn’t know if he should text him first. He’s feeling a little socially rusty, having not approached anyone with the intention of being friends in a long, long time. Which is why he jumps with glee when he sees he’s got a text notification from his new friend. But then he reads the text, and the glee morphes into unadulterated excitement.

 Jung Hoseok 🌞:

4:56 pm    I think i know who your penis belongs to

4:56 pm    can you send me a picture? I lost the flyers i kept from that time

                                       4:59 pm    You sent a picture

 5:01 pm   Yeah it’s really similar 

5:01 pm    Kim Seokjin, XXX-XXX-XXXX, probably currently working the counter at the campus coffee shop. 

5:02 pm     He’s tall, broad shoulders, awesome dick

Taehyung doesn’t even take the time to text back his thanks; he wraps up his project in a disorderly manner, wiping his hands on his shirt with no care in the world. He throws his backpack on and basically sprint to the coffee shop he usually tends to avoid. The owner is totally an evil capitalist, ripping off students with his overpriced coffee.

He gets there in record time, gasping for air as his poor lungs try to keep up with enough exercise to last him a lifetime.

He’s covered in clay stains, hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, clothes in dismay, lungs wheezing, so he should probably expect the next few events that unfold. 

He walks into the coffee shop still out of breath, asks if Kim Seokjin is there to the first employee he sees. This is one of those times where he’s happy he can’t read people’s expressions, because he has a feeling he’s being judged very much right now.

“He… just got off his shift.” The man at the counter answers hesitantly.

“Can you tell me where he went?” And what he was wearing?” Taehyung may be sounding a little desperate, but he doesn’t have the time to care.

“He was still in his uniform, so green, and he went that way.” He indicates with a vague wave of the hand.  

Taehyung starts running again, this time looking even more crazed as he scans his surroundings like a mad man, looking for someone tall with broad shoulders wearing green.

He spots him after running for a few minutes, thanking the heavens that the employee sent him in the right direction. He had every reason not to.

“Kim Seokjin!” He calls out, picking up his pace despite his lungs begging for a break. “Wait!”

He sees the man stop, take one look at him over his admittedly very large shoulders, then start sprinting away from him.

“No! Wait up!” He pushes himself harder than he ever has, his legs and lungs burning under the continuous strain, head feeling a little faint. “Please!” He calls out again in desperation. “Please look at my penis!”

This catches Seokjin’s attention, and he thankfully stops running, turning around as if to wait for him. Taehyung slows down to a jog, then to a complete stop, bending over gasping for air. Once his breathing is finally somewhat back to normal, he straightens up, only to come face to face with a bottle of pepper spray.

“W-wait!” He stutters, falling on his ass. “I swear I’m not a creep!”

“That’s exactly what a creep would say.” Seokjin answers, hovering over him threateningly, aiming the pepper spray directly at Taehyung’s face.

“I swear I just need you to look at my penis.”

This was the wrong thing to say apparently, because Seokjin gives the bottle a good shake as if to activate it. “That doesn’t sound as reassuring as you seem to think.”

“No! Wait!” He pleads again. “Not my penis.” He takes off his backpack, frantically digging through it until he finally pulls out his sculpture.  “ This penis.”

Seokjin doesn’t look totally convinced, but he finally lowers his weapon. “That’s a beautiful cock.” He admits after a moment of staring in silence. 

“Thank you. Is it yours?” 

"I don't remember owning that sculpture."

"Not the sculpture; the Penis."

Seokjin frowns, extending his hand, and Taehyung gingerly deposits his precious sculpture into his palm. The man finally puts away his pepper spray to free both his hands. He examines the penis under every angle, trying out the hold, measuring the testicles with his palm, staring at it long and hard.

Taehyung takes the opportunity to stand back up, keeping his distance this time.

“It does look very similar,” he concludes, hands going to his chin. “But this is not my penis. I don’t have a mole there.”

Taehyung deflates. He still asks, just in case. “So we haven’t slept together?”

Seokjin gives him back his sculpture with a snort. “You don’t look like anything I've ever slept with.” 

Taehyung realizes the state he’s in. He must look ridiculous right now.

“I’m from the sculpting department. I didn’t have the time to clean up. I don’t usually go around looking like I just rolled in the mud.”

“Explains a lot.” Seokjin nods, looking him up and down.

He dusts himself off as best as he can, but he can’t do much more cleaning up than that. He’ll probably have to go back home looking like that.

“So what’s your name?”

Taehyung feels dumb, he didn’t even have the decency to introduce himself before pulling out his penis. His social skills are frankly lacking.

“I’m Kim Taehyung. Sorry about all that, someone told me you could have the original version of this sculpture.”

“I’m flattered. It is pretty similar. Can I ask why you’re going around asking people to look at your– At this penis?” 

Taehyung sighs deeply, looking down at the penis in his hand. He did it once, he can do it again.

“Long story short I had an amazing one-night stand with the owner of this beautiful creature, but I have no idea who he is and the only clue I have is my perfect memory of his penis.”

“Sounds like a proper modern-day Cinderella story. But how come you don’t remember his face?” Seokjin questions, a hint of worry in his voice that would make sense in any other situation than Taehyung’s.

“I…. have face blindness, it’s this whole-”

“Ah, Yes, Prosopagnosia, I heard about that in class.”

“Oh. Well, yeah, so this is my only way of finding him.”

“So the Penis Flyers-”

“Yeah, that was also me. Forgot to write down my info, got caught by my teacher, that was a whole mess.” Taehyung admits, feeling discouraged.

“So now you’re basically going around town asking every man to try on the metaphorical glass shoes.”

“Basically.”

“Maybe don’t start off with ‘please look at my penis’ next time?” Seokjin recommends, which makes sense.

“I’ve been told that asking if we’ve slept together first thing is making me sound sleazy.”

“Yeah well, asking people to look at your penis isn’t better.”

“I’ll take good note of that.”

+

He drags his feet all the way back home.

He sees, pushed in the corner of his room, the material he got to make a mold, and wonders if now is the time to give up.

His exhibition is coming up, this whole thing made him late on his projects, and now he’s certain he’ll never reunite with Mystery Man. Maybe Mystery Man just doesn’t want to be found. Maybe he’s seen all his attempts and has simply steered clear, avoiding him all along. Maybe it’s time for Taehyung to make himself a silicon version and move on. He’s exhausted all his options, he’s out of time, and out of ideas.

He’s reading through the molding instruction, glad that this should be easy since he’s using a sculpture and not an actual living and breathing dick, when he realizes he hasn’t exhausted all his options. There’s still hope.

He jumps in the shower, picks out an outfit befitting of his destination, and goes off with hope in his heart.

+

The Bar isn't too busy, this being the middle of a school week, but there’s still some people going about, sharing drinks and being loud, in total denial of the oncoming train that is the end of a semester

Taehyung spots the barman, beeline for him. 

“Hey, do you know who usually works on Sundays?”

“That would be me.” Mr.Barman says, convincing Taehyung he finally has luck on his side.

Mr.Barman is on the tall side, with nice tattooed arms and wavy over-bleached hair tucked behind his ears. He’s making his forearm bulge seductively by polishing some beer glasses, and if Taehyung wasn’t on a mission to find his possible Mr.Perfect, he would be actively trying to get into his pants. 

“Do you, by any chance, recognize me?”

Mr.Barman doesn’t miss a beat.

“You’re a regular. And you gave me a blowjob once. Why are you asking?”

Well, Taehyung might have many flaws but at least he’s consistent.

“I was wondering if you remembered seeing me a few weeks ago– I was with a dude, about this height, with this body,” he adds, pulling out the sketch. He looks a little crazed, once again. But it’s ok, he’s reaching for straws here. “He had dark hair, but that’s all I can tell you. See, I have face-”

“-Blindness, I know, you cry about it every time you get drunk.”

Hm. And Taehyung thought he was a character full of mystery.

“I do know who you’re talking about. He’s a regular too.”

The irritation Taehyung feels is only momentary, everything melting away with this new bit of information. Someone saw them, someone knows what his Mystery Man looks like. He didn't hallucinate the whole thing. 

“Do you know his name??” He asks, pleading with his eyes. His heart is thumping wildly in his chest, desperation tangible.

“No. And he hasn’t been here since that night.” He says, crushing every hope and dream Taehyung mustered up in the last five seconds. He pauses his polishing, head tilting to the side. “But I do remember his face. I can try and draw him if you want.”

10 minutes later, Taehyung is looking at his disability in the face.

“Wow, you did it. You perfectly illustrated how people with face blindness see others.” Taehyung says, looking down at the drawing Jungkook (he asked for his name) quickly scribbled on a piece of napkin. It looks exactly like how he sees others.

Jungkook being good-natured, only laugh it off. “I can’t do much here, I’m working. But if you give me your number, I can try and do a better sketch once I get home. I’m from the painting department.”

“You would do that for me?” Taehyung asks, feeling deeply moved by Jungkook’s kindness. 

“Sure, it’s good practice for my portrait class anyways. You can take this as a thank you for the blow job.”

Taehyung nods to himself. 

“I do give amazing blowjobs.”

+

Jungkook, like any good art student, does not appreciate being rushed.

After a whole week of being told “it’s not ready yet”, Taehyung stops asking. 

He also wakes up one morning and realizes he only has a few days left before his exhibition.

Not only is he not done with all his pieces, he still hasn’t started studying for his finales which happen to be the week before his exhibition, meaning, the next day.

He pushes aside any thought of Mystery Man (except when he hugs the sculpture at night, heart yearning for the original), and jumps straight into his cramming strategy, which consists of hitting himself with the books until he’s absorbed the material. If he’s not studying, taking a finale, or sleeping, he’s huddled in the workshop with the other students of his department, functioning on coffee and eating various shades of sculpting material for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This is not what Taehyung expected when he was told that artists live from their arts.

The day before his exhibition, he’s barely feeling human, he’s got dried clay in places clay should never find itself, he doesn’t know words anymore and he has basically forgotten his own name.

No matter how fast he works, he realizes he won’t be able to finish his last pieces in time. He’s wracking his brain for a solution, thinking long and hard about just what he could do, when it hits him. 

The solution is right underneath his nose; 

His penis. It was always his penis. 

He’s supposed to expose pieces that he finds impactful, and if there’s anything that had a big impact on his life in the last few weeks, it’s his sculpture.

He can’t tell his teacher, he’ll categorically refuse. Not after the stunt he pulled with the flyers. Plus he wouldn't understand the cultural reset it was for Taehyung, finding and crafting that beautiful creature.

So he sets to work in secret. It shouldn’t be too hard, he hasn’t printed his labels yet. Plus the students are in charge of installing their own corner, meaning he can wait until the very last moment before the opening to put his penis on display.

He needs to find a name for his sculpture, so he texts his friends for help, but as usual, they are unhelpful.

 Asshole with pink hair:

6:45 pm  ‘ Suck on that’

 Hyungie:

6:45 pm    why are you asking me idk

 Jung Hoseok 🌞 :

6:50 pm   “ Long lost lover”

 He’s glad to see that his new friend will fit right in once he introduces him to everyone. 

He isn’t satisfied with the answer he gets, so he sends more text.

 Kim Seokjin:

7:05 pm  “Is this your penis?”

7:06 pm   Or better yet, “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PENIS?”

7:06 pm   that way people will understand how current your art is

7:10 pm   Also I didn’t give you this number to chitchat

7:10 pm   after we find out his identity im cutting all ties with you

7:11 pm   Im just feeling invested right now

7:11 pm   that’s all

7:17 pm   Where’s your exhibition again?

Jeon Jungkook barman and artist:

9:56 pm  idk

9:56 pm  im almost done with the portrait btw

9:56 pm  you mind if I use it for my exhibition

9:56 pm  im really proud of it

 So not much more help on that side either.

+

The next day, Taehyung is busy setting up his corner and feeling emotional over his last exhibition.

He’s done with uni. He can go off into the world and live from his art. Or more like, he’ll first find a side job that’ll suck the life out of him, to pay for his art. Then he’ll spend a few years regretting every decision that led him to be an artist, but just as he’s about to give up, his sculptures will be noticed by a mysterious millionaire that’ll commission him thousands of dollars at first. He’ll refer him to his rich friend who will be all over his art and will throw their money at him.

Yeah, it’s a nice pipe dream.

He makes sure all the labels are in place, the lights are hitting his pieces in all the right way, and that no one notices him putting his penis in the middle of his space 30 seconds before they open the doors.

By the time his teacher notices, it’s already too late; the place flooded with friends, family, and even the occasional art critics that the university invited.

It’s not like his penis feels out of place in his setup. Most of his pieces are on the theme of the human body; studies of movement, skin texture, whatnot. If you look at it as a whole, you almost have a whole body. The only thing missing is a face, which is extremely fitting for Taehyung.

The wave of people coming is not preferable for Taehyung, since he doesn’t like crowded places. He’s never been a fan of their exhibition opening nights over the years. He keeps himself busy by trying his best to merge with the wall while people circle his pieces. His friends know he won’t be able to recognize them in the crowd, so they’ll come to him by themselves, he simply has to make himself visible.

“Hey babe,” Jimin says with mirth in his voice, “Is that greek?”

“Yeah” Taehyung answers, fixing his eyes on his most beloved and central piece. 

“I didn’t know you knew greek”

“I don’t, but Google does.”

The Penis is standing directly underneath his own spotlight, looking like a beacon of light, grabbing the envious stares of the people around it.

There’s a little white label by its base:

   Kim Taehyung

πέος, 2021

Red Clay  

(if you recognize this penis, please ask for the artist)

  “ What does it mean?”

“ Penis ”

Jimin hums, crossing his arm over his chest. “I guess I was not expecting anything less.”

Yoongi chooses that moment to appear, whistling his praise.

“So you did work this semester.” He jokes, bobbing his head with approval.

“Har, har.” Like he’s one to talk. He basically spent the last few months becoming one with his bed.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he expects it to be Hoseok or Seokjin telling him they’re here, but instead it’s from Jungkook, and it’s a picture.

A little gasp of surprise escapes him.

His hands shake as he opens up the text app, his heart thumping as the picture loads. He presses on it once it’s ready, taking up the full screen, and Taehyung can finally-... well, Taehyung can’t do anything with that. His case of face blindness is pretty severe, so even drawings are unrecognizable for him. But it’s something! A new clue! He can make a flyer out of this! He can-

“Why do you have a portrait of Namjoon on your phone?”

Time stops.

Yoongi’s voice echoes in his head, mocking him, but also stealing the carpet right from underneath his feet.

Why do you have a portrait of Namjoon on your phone?

A portrait of Namjoon

Namjoon

Namjoon, who stood in front of him silently, that day Yoongi invited him out, probably expecting some kind of reaction from Taehyung.

Namjoon who frequents the campus gym.

Namjoon, who’s tall and broad-shouldered.

Namjoon, who’s been around Taehyung for a while but was never told about his condition. 

Namjoon, who probably thinks Taheyung has been ignoring him all this time.

“Jesus fucking christ, My Mystery Man Is Kim Namjoon.”

Both his friends voice their confusion as Taehyung tries to rip his hair from his head.

“This penis belongs to Kim Namjoon, who doesn’t know I have face blindness, and who probably think I’ve been ignoring him all this fucking time.”

“Holy shit,” Yoongi says at the same time as Park Jimin, that prick, starts cackling uncontrollably. Taehyung always knew he was evil.

“This is- I’m so sorry but- This shouldn't be funny– But I can’t, it’s too funny.” He wheezes out in between laughter. “He was right there, probably confused as hell as to why you were showing his dick to everyone- I’m sorry this is so funny but also so, so sad. You never- oh my god.”

Under the attention of about half the gallery, he wipes the tears from his eyes, body convulsing with laughter.

“What the fuck are you waiting for.” He finally manages to say, taking a deep breath. “Hyung, didn’t you drag him here tonight?”

That seems to snap Yoongi out of his stupor.

“Fuck, yes he’s here, he’s... There!-” He says pointing somewhere, but then his voice dies down. “And now he’s leaving...”

Taehyung spots the man with a black cap currently walking out the exit with an angry stride. He reacts on instinct, running after his Not So Mysterious Man Anymore.

+

Kim Namjoon is having a very no good, very bad day. 

Not because of school, no. He aced all his finales, he doesn’t even need to get his grades back to know.

Not because of the weather either. No, it’s a beautiful spring day, and there’s a hint of cherry blossom in the air, wrapping the world in a romantic tint.

No, the reason he’s having a very no good very bad day, is because he can’t, for the love of God, get Kim Taehyung out of his head. 

It started with a very interesting dream, clearly drawing inspiration from the night they spent together. It woke him up at the crack of dawn, sweating up bullets and hard as a rock. Finding sleep afterward was nearly impossible, meaning his first precious day of vacation started way too fucking early.

Now music theory never sleeps, so he simply spent his morning trying to forget his dream, channeling all his energy on composing. 

But then Min Yoongi, long-time friend and co-compositor, had to go and ruin his fragile peace of mind by reminding him he had two tickets for the sculpting department exhibition, and Namjoon was obligated to show up. Meaning he would inevitably run into Kim Taehyung; Meaning he would agonize about him all day; Meaning , that he would be thinking about Kim Fucking Taehyung all day.

But it’s ok, because he was finally starting to come to terms with that too. Taehyung would probably ignore him again, and all he needed to do was circle the gallery once and get the fuck out.

But no.

Oh no.

Life had better plans.

Because right into the center of Taehyung's exhibition space, is his very own penis, standing proudly, mocking him.

He can recognize it from the flyers, so he knows instantly that it’s Taehyung’s work. 

He’s stunned by the audacity, wondering once again what he did to draw Taehyung’s ire upon himself. The flyers were not enough, no he had to go and put it on display as his final fuck you to Namjoon. Even wrote 'penis' in greek as a title, confirming Namjoon's theory that this is all a ploy to make fun of him.

Namjoon has had enough, he’s getting the fuck out of there. 

He spins on his heel at the speed of light, taking advantage of every inch of his long legs to walk out as fast as possible. He ignores the call of his name that follows after him, readjusting the cap on his head.

He’s fuming, feeling tears of frustration building up. He doesn’t deserve this. He’s been nothing but respectful of Taehyung. He’s been staying away from him too. 

He doesn’t deserve this.

He makes it a few blocks before his phone starts going off every 5 seconds with incoming texts, forcing him to finally look at it.

 Yoongi Hyung:

6:14 pm   Before anything, know that Taehyung suffers from severe face blindness.

6:14 pm   I know you know what that means you wikipedia rat

6:15 pm   I didn’t tell you cause it’s none of my business who he chooses to tell

6:15 pm   But the dumbass has been trying to find you for weeks using your dick because he had no other way to identify you

6:15 pm   Your pinning hasn't been exactly subtle either

6:16 pm    he ran after you when you left but I bet he’s pleading with the wrong person in the street right now

6:17 pm   Nice dick by the way

 He rereads the series of text to try and make sense of them. Only after the third read, does he finally understand.

Well, shit.

+

“Please Namjoon listen to me, you have to listen to me, I didn't mean to ignore you, I just didn't know it was you!-” Taehyung pleads, holding on to his sleeve.

“Can you please let go of me?!”

His voice sounds a little older than what Taehyung remembers, but he doesn’t have the time to think too much about that. Maybe he’s got a cold or something.

“-I can explain everything if you can just give me two minutes-”

“I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m not this kind of person.”

Taehyung isn’t deterred, holding on to him desperately “-Please I swear just two- no, one minute, even one minute is enough-”

Someone clears their throat, tapping him softly on the shoulder. 

“Sorry sir, I believe my friend here is mistaking you for me.”

Now that’s a familiar voice. A voice he recognizes from many occasions. 

Taehyung lets go of his poor unsuspecting victim, taking a step back which is all it takes for them to run away from him.

He finally comes face to face with the source of all his past weeks' torment.

The height is there, the shoulders are there, the body proportions are there, the hair color is completely different, but Jimin did mention he changed it recently. He’s got the black cap on, the one that made Taehyung mistake a perfect stranger on the street for him.

It’s him. He found him. It’s his Mystery Man, his cinderella. He’s got him.

“Namjoon?”

“Yes, that’s me.” He confirms, voice gentle.

“Kim Namjoon.” He repeats, trying the name out on his tongue. His body is filling up with butterflies, and he can’t feel his toes.

“And here I thought you just could never remember my name.”

“I can explain–” He rushes, eager to get rid of the misunderstanding.

“It’s ok, Yoongi told me.”

“And about your penis–”

“Yes, Yoongi told me about that too.” Namjoon cuts him off, the tip of his ears getting pink.

“I’m so sorry– I should have asked your name then. I mean– you made me come four times .”

Namjoon chuckles, catching one of Taehyung’s hands mid flail and holding it with both of his, making his heart jump.

“We’ve basically known each other for years, so maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t. I don’t think I would have appreciated it then.”

“I guess that’s true. I’m still sorry.”

“I’m sorry too, I could have come up to you first. I mean, I’m the one who sneaked out in the morning. I had an 8 am class, by the way. I didn’t leave because I wanted to. But you have my number so… I assumed you would call me. ”

“I have your number...?” It's pretty vague, but it does ring a bell. He's got a blurry memory of time, around their first meeting, when Namjoon and he had exchanged their numbers for Yoongi related reasons. “That’s right, I do have your number. Fuck.”

“Well, I know now this wouldn’t have changed anything for you, since you simply didn't know it was me you were with.” Namjoon snorts, but not unkindly. More at the situation. 

But Taehyung still feels terrible.

“I’m so sorry.” He whines, feeling like burying his face in Namjoon’s chest. But they’re not there yet. “I tend to keep people at a distance to avoid misunderstandings.”

“It’s ok, I get it now. I guess I wish I knew before, but I get it now.”

“Good. I should have told you sooner. I was actually planning on doing it soon if that’s any consolation.”

“It is.” Namjoon murmurs, inching closer to him.

“Cool, cool cool.” Taehyung blurts out nervously.

This is it. This is his chance. Everything that has transpired in the last few weeks is leading up to this moment. 

"So," Namjoon starts when Taehyung has been silent for too long. "Yoongi said you were looking for me... Any particular reasons?"

"Well, yes." He answers but stops. All of this means nothing. It doesn't mean that Namjoon will accept to go out with him. He has no idea how Namjoon feels about him, and he sure as hell cannot tell by his facial expression. He's going in blind, no reason to believe that Namjoon wants to have to do anything with him. For all he knows, Namjoon is only here to settle the misunderstanding, and then be on his way. Maybe he's even mad about the penis flyers.

But then he also remembers that Namjoon is holding his hand right now. It's now or never.

He takes a deep breath for bravery and goes for it.

“Kim Namjoon, can I please take you out on a date?”

Namjoon doesn’t let him second guess himself, word leaving his mouth as fast as a blink.

“Absolutely.”

Apparently, they’ve gathered a crowd because there’s cheerful hooting and shouting erupting around them. But Taehyung pays them no mind as he goes in for a hug, Namjoon meeting him halfway.

“Wait, wait,” Namjoon says, suddenly, taking a step back. “I still don’t know why you put my penis on display at the center of your exhibition.”

Taehyung chuckles, bringing Namjoon back in. 

“Simple, ‘cause it’s a masterpiece.”

+

 2 months later

There’s a knock at the door, which throws Taehyung off. He’s getting ready for his date with Namjoon– their actual first date– and is not expecting anyone. Jimin knows the code, so it can’t be him, unless–

“Hello sir, would you be open to receiving the words of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ?”

“Jimin, I swear to god, I can tell it’s you by your voice. And no one from church would dress like you do, slut.”

Moving in with Jimin is as much a blessing as it is a curse. A blessing because, well, they’re best friends. A curse because his best friend’s favorite hobby is to try and prank him. Taehyung almost misses the time where Jimin was treating his face blindness as a taboo. 

Almost.

The last two months have been a whirlwind of life-changing events for Taehyung. 

First, moving in with Jimin is a pretty big deal. Not only has Taehung been living alone for the last three years, living with someone is sometimes a challenge for him. Wondering why a stranger is standing in your kitchen at 3 am, brain slowed down by sleep and the weak lighting not helping, isn’t always a recipe for success. But he’s slowly getting used to it, and Jimin, as much as he can be a prick, is being patient with him.

The second big event is, well, his current job. Somehow his workshop teacher, even after everything, recommended him for a job at a sculpture academy. He now teaches different types of sculpting medium to children, four nights a week. Pretty sweet gig.

At first, he was going crazy out of his mind worrying about working with children, but four weeks in and he’s feeling confident. He sat down with the kids the first week to explain to them what face blindness is, and although the children were initially confused, they now enjoy switching names with each other for the duration of his classes, to mess with his head.

Jokes on them, Taehyung also called their parents during that first week. So far, none of the children have noticed that their parents have been making them wear certain accessories every time they leave for the academy. Checkmates.

And the last big event, of course, is Namjoon. 

In between moving, his new job, and Namjoon’s own busy schedule, they have yet to go on an actual full-blown date. But they’ve slowly been getting to know each other. They make time to go on quick coffee dates sometimes, and they text none-stop. Namjoon hasn’t seen his new place yet, but they’ve hung out at Namjoon’s plenty of time. 

His boyfriend (he gets giddy thinking about that word) also showed up at the academy a few times to walk him back home (The first time he kept it as a surprise, but he quickly realized Taehyung didn’t like surprises; especially when it means having a tall stranger approach him in the dark without saying anything. Now he texts beforehand.)

“Do you like this outfit? Or should I go with my floral button-up?” He asks Jimin, who’s lounging on his bed after his failed prank attempt. 

“Why are you so stressed? It’s not like it's the first time you two see each other.”

“Because the chances of me getting laid tonight are extremely high and I want to look good.”

“Oh?” Jimin perks up, knowing full well Taehyung and Namjoon have been taking their time to get to know each other. “Should I sleepover at Hobi’s tonight?”

Another new development from the last two months: Jimin and Hoseok’s instant attraction. They’ve been dancing around each other since the exhibition, but it looks like it’s finally getting ‘ sleeping-over-at-each-others-place ’ serious.

“...Good idea,” Taehyung answers, not because he wants the house to himself (though it’s a nice perk), but he likes giving a little push to love sometimes.

His friend circle can finally be called a circle now. Somehow, Hoseok, Seokjin, and Namjoon just naturally fit into his now actually social, social life. Namjoon was the easiest since he already knew Yoongi and Jimin. Hoseok got it easy by becoming Jimin’s more-than-friend, and Seokjin just showed up one day with a video of that time, outside the gallery, when Taehyung thought an older gentleman was Namjoon because of his black cap. 

He looks at the time, curses when he realizes he’s going to be late. He grabs his wallet and puts on his shoes in a rush, and makes it out the door accompanied by Jimin shouting “Don’t you dare fuck on the couch or you’re buying a new one!”

He makes it to the Bar with only a few minutes to spare, and as luck would have it, Jungkook is working. He’s come to recognize his tattooed arm and bleached locks instantly. 

Namjoon would have texted him if he was there, which means he’s cutting it close as well, so he sends a quick ‘here 💖’ text before sitting down at the Bar with a big smile.

“You make me want to puke,” Jungkook says, disgust dripping from his words. 

“Hey now don’t be jealous, I’m sure you’ll find yourself a monster cock as well one day.”

Somehow, he and Jungkook started texting on a semi-regular basis. It’s mostly Jungkook begging Taehyung to introduce him to Seokjin (apparently he’s been crushing on the man since he first saw him at the coffee shop), which Taehyung has to find excuses every time to avoid telling Jungkook the cold, harsh truth.

(“I don’t date men with bleached hair, it ruins my whole aesthetic.” Jin said after the first time Taehyung asked. Which aesthetic he’s talking about, Taehyung has no idea.)

But that also means that Jungkook has heard all about his very fascinating and blooming love story with Namjoon.

“Did you tell Seokjin I said hi?”

“Dude, just go and ask him out. You know where he works, you know where he studies, you even know his birthday, which is really creepy when you two have never talked by the way. Just, go ask him out, he won’t be able to resist you once he actually sees how attractive you are.” He pauses for a second, then adds for safety measure, “But if he reaches in his pocket, just run the other way.”

“What?” 

“Don’t ask, just trust me.” Taehyung has some unpleasant flashbacks of a bottle of pepper spray being waved in front of his face. He shakes his head to try and get rid of the memory.

“And how would you even know that I’m attractive, you don’t actually know what I look like.” Jungkook retorts.

“Shut up, just go and ask him.”

“Just go and ask him what?” A familiar voice asks from behind him, and Taehyung's smile is back full force. He rotates on his chair and jumps into Namjoon’s arms, hearing him groan under the strain of his weight. He can hear Jungkook fake gagging behind him, the actual child.

They share a quick kiss before they both sit down at the bar.

“You’re not seriously thinking about having your date here, are you?”

Taehyung snorts, tempted to mess with Jungkook, but Namjoon is the one to answer.

“No we just wanted to get the evening started with a nice drink, but we have a reservation to an actual fancy restaurant, paid graciously by Taehyung's actual serious adult job.”

“Is it a serious adult job if he had to stop a kid from eating his donut-shaped clay yesterday?”

“Shut up. If you keep being like that I’m going to order the most annoying thing on the menu.”

Jungkook scoffs and walks away, without actually taking their orders.

They both watch him do a big show of ignoring them, answering other customers without turning in their direction.

“Let’s just get out of here.” Namjoon whispers in his ear. “We can go waste time walking around aimlessly, hand in hand.”

“God, you’re so cheesy,” Taehyung mutters, but he actually loves it.

His dating experience before Namjoon amounts to an enormous zero, but it’s not because he’s one of those unattainable, i-don’t-believe-in-love types of people that live rent-free in Hollywood movies. He simply never thought it would be possible to get close to someone romantically with his condition. But since officially meeting Namjoon, he’s been researching, and turns out, he totally can. 

There are even people, artists like him, who've noticed that repeatedly drawing or painting their loved one has made them actually able to remember their face (not 100% of the time, but he’ll take what he can get.). So he’s been sketching, using pictures, trying out different angles. He’s planning on using clay at one point. He’s totally the girl from Lionel Richie’s music video. Which makes Namjoon Lionel Richie.

“Did you know that I was inspired by Lionel Richie’s music video to sculpt your penis?”

Namjoon chuckles under his breath, squeezing Taehyung’s hand just a little bit more. The hot summer air is making their palms sweaty, but they both don’t care. 

“Where is that thing, by the way? It’s been a while since I’ve last seen it.”

“I put it on my bedside table when I moved in and I haven't moved it since. I’m thinking about making it into a lamp. I have to keep it out of reach of Jimin and Hoseok, they both seem a little too interested.”

Namjoon grimaces. Or Taehyung is assuming that’s his grimacing face. 

“Please never let it fall into their hands.”

“I swear on my honor, I shall protect your penis.”

“Thank you, I feel better now. I still can’t believe they put it on the first page of ‘Sculpting Now’. Crazy how all of your friends and the sculpting world know what my dick looks like.

“It’s a masterpiece. If it was mine I would never keep it in my pants, I’d always want to show it off.”

“How are you not in prison right now?”

“I don’t have your dick in my pants, sadly. Did you know that Seokjin almost pepper-sprayed me the first time we met? In retrospect, having a stranger run after you, pleading for you to look at their dick is a good excuse to pull out your pepper spray.”

“Wait, you did what?”

“It was all in the name of love.”

Namjoon shakes his head, probably disappointed in him.

+

Namjoon is utterly enamored. Every time Taehyung recalls a story from when he ran around school trying to find him, he falls a little bit more in love. 

He was so nervous for their first romantic date that he couldn’t eat during the day, but Taehyung is making him feel at ease, as he usually does, so hunger is coming back with a vengeance.

“Should we go to the restaurant now?” He asks, pulling Taehyung along with him. "It's almost time."

“Let’s.” Taehyung agrees readily, “I’m ravenous.”

They quickly make their way to the restaurant, only to find its door closed. There’s a sign in the window reading “Closed for vermin infestation”.

“Oh.” Namjoon says, “Dammit. That’s not good.”

There’s this awkward silence, filled with growling sounds from both their bellies. It’s too late to make reservations anywhere nice, and anywhere else risks being too loud for a romantic Rendez-Vous. Namjoon is scrambling his brain for a solution when Taehyung’s shy voice interrupts.

“Hum, if you want to– Jimin told me he wouldn't be home tonight, so… You want to come over? We can pick up some ramen on the way.”

Taehyung’s face might be neutral, but the blush growing on his cheeks is anything but. Namjoon takes a moment to appreciate the sight that he makes, burning up in embarrassment. Without the blushing, Namjoon would have believed he’s only inviting him for ramen, but the angry red of his cheeks is definitely betraying Taehyung’s intentions.

He nods his agreement, feeling anticipation replace hunger in the pit of his stomach.

+

 Having Namjoon in his space is a new experience. 

The apartment is still messy from their move, boxes lying around, but they’ve managed to make it quite homey. Everything that is necessary to their everyday life has been unboxed, only the odd objects being ignored by Jimin and him.

He puts on some soft music to set a nice mood, and Namjoon is humming along straight away, which is all the approval he needs to feel confident about his music selection. Music Theory graduate approved. 

 He gets to work on the ramen while he directs Namjoon on where to find a cheap bottle of wine and some wine glasses. He sets the table, trying to make it as nice as possible, but it’s really just a pot of bubbling ramen and two bowls with some chopsticks. 

They eat in comfortable silence, the music playing in the background mixing with the sound of their eating.

But then Namjoon dumps the content of his wine glass on his tan-colored pants, and it’s downhill from there.

“Damn it!” He curses, jumping to his feet. He grabs some napkins to try and pat some wine off, but it’s already been absorbed by his fancy suit pants. 

“Quick, take them off,” Taehyung says, not thinking too hard and only reacting to the situation at hand. “Let’s rinse them in the sink.” 

Namjoon complies, taking them off in record time, passing them on to Taehyung like it’s a relay race.

Taehyung deposits them straight in the sink, opening the tap and letting the water hopefully get rid of most of the stain. They both stand there for a minute, staring at the water filling up. 

But then it hits Taehyung that Namjoon’s thighs are currently bare and in his vicinity. He sneaks a quick peek to satisfy his horny brain, but he’s quick to snap his eyes back to the sink to avoid doing anything stupid.

Like, let’s say , dropping to his knees. 

He can feel himself blushing, his cheeks, ears, and neck feeling hot. He knew exactly what he was doing, inviting Namjoon for some ramen, but now that he can act on it, he’s suddenly feeling very shy. 

Plus, not being able to read facial expressions never really impaired his ability to get laid. He used to just– go to the bar, wait until someone would offer him to get out of there, and go for it. 

But this is not a bar, and Namjoon won’t ask him if he wants to get out of there. He has no idea how to tell if Namjoon wants to jump into bed with him. Or not. 

He takes matters into his own hands.

“So, as you know,” He starts, staring intently at the water flowing out of the tap, “this whole face blindness thing– I can’t really read your facial expressions. So in the future, it’ll be hard for me to figure out if you’re angry or happy, or sad, or… or horny. I’ve never done this whole– Romantic relationship thing, but I’m guessing we’re going to have to be really vocal with how we’re feeling, what we want, whatnot.”

He lets his statements hang in the air, staring at the stain that doesn’t seem to want to go away. He’s thinking maybe this will have to be removed professionally. 

But then, Namjoon chooses that moment to drop a soft kiss on his nape.

“Are you asking me, right now, if I want you?” 

Taehyung turns around, letting himself be cornered against the counter. Namjoon has his nicely defined biceps, somehow peeking through his suit vest, on each side of him. He absolutely loves it.

“Yes. I am.”

Namjoon kisses his neck once again, and Taehyung is this close to losing it. 

“I absolutely want you.” His boyfriend finally answers, landing a heavy kiss on his lips, sucking all the air out of Taehyung’s lungs.

 After turning Taehyung’s inside to mush via lips on lips crime, he returns to his assault on Taehyung’s neck, peppering the skin he can reach with sweet kisses, each one sending electricity straight to his groin. 

“Do you want me?” Namjoon questions softly into his ear, making Taehyung's eyes roll back so far he’s scared they’ll never come back. 

“Fuck yes.” He grinds out, voice turning to a whine when Namjoon, emboldened by Taehyung’s enthusiasm, rocks his pelvis into his in a languid motion.

He sees white then, bringing Namjoon’s mouth back to his, smashing their mouths together in a wet and messy kiss.

“How important are your pants?” He inquires in between kisses, enjoying the slow grinding Namjoon has going on. He’s still in his suit pants, but Namjoon only has the thin cotton of his boxer brief as a barrier. Taehyung can clearly feel his monster cock waking up from its slumber. 

“Not very important.” He finally answers, hands letting go of the counter to firmly grab at Taehyung’s ass. 

Taehyung can proudly say he’s got a fat ass, and Namjoon seems to appreciate it if the growl that escapes him is anything to go by.

He gets to work on the buttons of Namjoon’s dress shirt, Namjoon getting the message and taking his vest off by himself. Soon he’s standing there in only his boxer briefs and socks, while Taehyung is still fully dressed.

It’s kind of hot. 

They slow it down a little, Taehyung pushing Namjoon away so he can take a good look at him. 

The light of the kitchen falls almost gracefully over Namjoon’s defined chest, creating shadows that chisel out his muscles even more. It’s a sight to behold. 

He drags his hands down Namjoon's body, teasing a nipple as he goes with a flick of the thumb, mapping out his taut stomach with the tip of his finger, then coming back up to hold onto his strong shoulders.

“You know, I’m like, really good at massages. I feel like this is something you should know.”

Seems like this is all the time Namjoon will allow him away from him. He reels him back in with an arm around his waist, the other taking hold of one of Taehyung’s hands and bringing it to his mouth. He nips at his fingers, maintaining eye contact while he uses his tongue to soothe the sting.

How he’s even real is beyond Taehyung.

“Do you need help undressing?” Namjoon teases, reaching for his belt.

“Let me close the tap and we can move this to my room.” 

Namjoon doesn’t give him a response, only cages him once again against the counter, plastering the full length of his warm body to his. He reaches behind Taehyung and moments later, the soft ambiance music is the only thing they can hear again. 

Taehyung leads him to his bedroom, taking off his vest as they go. Somehow Namjoon already got his belt buckle, so he unceremoniously drops his pants to the floor, then jumps on his bed.

“Welcome to my room. That’s my desk, that’s my bedside table, that’s a replica of your penis, but I heard the original is planning on making an appearance tonight. This is my bed. Hope you enjoyed the tour.” He finally gets to the final button, looking up eagerly as he sends his shirt off to the side, wondering what’s taking Namjoon so long to get on the goddamn bed.

He finds his lover completely captivated by his penis duplicate.

“You’ve got the same one in your pants, you know. Get you your ass over here.” 

“Sorry I was just thinking… it’s crazy how similar you made it only from your memory.”

“Excuse me?” Taehyung objects, crossing his arms over his chest. “They’re not just similar, they’re identical.” 

“Only one way to check, is there?” Namjoon taunts, before finally, finally getting rid of his briefs, releasing the Kraken. 

Except he also grabs hold of the sculpture, bringing it close so he can do a side-by-side comparison. 

“You’re right, it is identical. How did you even manage that?” He says, awe in his voice. “Have you ever used it on yours–” 

Namjoon loses his train of thought as he takes in the sight of Taehyung, laying in bed completely naked, pumping himself at a leisurely pace and looking very unimpressed. 

“No, I haven’t. But if you don’t get into bed in the next 5 seconds I just might consider it.”

Namjoon doesn’t have to be told twice.

#bangtanidx #bangtanarmynet #houseofddaeng #mikrogalaxynet #boymeetsmxm #bangtanxm #kim taehyung #kim namjoon #min yoongi #kim seokjin #park jimin #jung hoseok #jeon jungkook #bts fic #taejoon #taejoon fic #taehyung x namjoon #v #rm

[skieswords]

Sorry For The Wait {Charlie Gillespie x OC}

Summary: Alex is a lowkey youtuber, known for funny vlogs of her just existing. She’s avoided the relationship question for the longest time, but has decided it’s time to come clean to her followers. 

Warning: Fluff, swearing, mention of alcohol, and sexual innuendo cause I’m incapable of writing anything without it.

Alex was wandering round the kitchen, in his old shirt and a pair of pyjama shorts that really didn’t cover much. She hummed an undistinguishable melody under her breath as she went about making her morning coffee, dancing to the song in her head. Charlie grinned from his position in the doorframe, leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed as he watched his girlfriend be her usual dorky self. She spun round suddenly, feeling eyes on her. “Oh, morning Char, when did you get back?” Charlie laughed under his breath and uncrossed his arms, stepping towards her and pulling her into his chest. “It’s not exactly morning, is it.” He nodded towards the clock on the oven that read 13.47, sighing when she shrugged and pressed a kiss to his cheek before stepping away to pick up her coffee cup. “It’s my morning.” Charlie rolled his eyes but nodded, helping himself to a banana from the fruit bowl, and leaning against the counter. Alex jumped onto the counter opposite, and swung her legs, sipping happily. Sitting there looking absolutely content, in his clothes and drinking her coffee, Charlie felt his heart swell. “I wanna go public.” He blurted it out, rather unexpectedly, for both parties. His eyes widened as he realised what he’d said, and looked down to his boots, still caked with mud from that morning’s not so sunny hike. “Didn’t we agree you’d stop wearing boots in the house? You hate vaccuming.” She jumped off the counter and made her way towards him, wrapping her arms around him and setting her coffee down on the countertop, resting her chin on his chest. He looked down at her with a soft smile, her blue eyes bearing into his hazel ones. “If you’re up for it, I’m down.” She smiled up at him, her voice soft and slightly excited. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and let his hand wrap around her waist, fingers drawing light patterns on her spine. “Yes please. I want everyone to know you’re mine.” Alex grinned and kissed along his jaw, until pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “Okay. When?” She broke away from him and unwrapped some toaster waffles, pushing down the button on the toaster before making her way back into his arms. “Today. Fuck it, let’s do it now.” She raised her eyebrows at him, and fiddled with his chain nervously. “Have you checked with Kenny? Didn’t he say-” Charlie sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Uh, Kenny gave me the all clear like 2 months ago. I just wasn’t sure if you were okay with it.” Alex rolled her eyes, and patted his head jokingly, stretching like a cat and moaning happily when her back cracked loudly. “Of course I am. Dude do you know how many videos I’ve got planned for when people know about us?” Charlie laughed and stood up properly, kicking his shoes off and frowning slightly at the mud that scattered the floor as he did. “Great, let’s get them all filmed. Go get changed though, I’m not taking you on live in them.” He indicated her shorts, reaching a hand round to grab her ass. “Hey, they’re not that bad.” Charlie raised his eyebrows at her, and pointed to the doorway. “Fine. But I’m not wearing a bra and you can’t make me.” He rolled his eyes and smirked, pulling his phone out and walking through to the living room, stopping outside their bedroom door and watching as she pulled her shorts down. He bit his lip and caught her eye, shooting her a wink, before settling onto the sofa, setting his phone up on the tripod. 

“Hellooo, people. Okay, so I’ll just let some people file in. Sheesh, how many of you are there? That’s like 4000 already and it’s been like 10 seconds. Okay just a few more... Great. Hi everyone, uh, this is just a quick one to answer a question a lot of people have been asking me since the show came out. Before I do, I just want to say you guys know how much I love you, and how grateful I am for all the support, but I really need you guys to respect me with this. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, and I’ve only held off because I was waiting for someone to agree.” 

From behind the camera, Alex emerged from their bedroom, her hair freed from it’s bun and falling around her shoulders as she fidgeted. She was nervous, having only been in front of an online audience of a couple thousand before, and she’d never been exposed to Charlie’s followers. They read the comments on his posts together sometimes, and she often stalked fan pages when she was bored and he was out hiking. The girls were crazy about him. Understandably of course, the man was gorgeous, and talented, and funny, and a million other things that had indeed made her fall in love with him in the first place. Kenny had asked that cast members (besides Jeremy, who already had a very public fiancée) to keep any relationships on the downlow, in order to keep the guys sex appeal up to fans. Alex had agreed, knowing it would help the show sell, and had deleted the few posts of Charlie on her instagram profile. None of them really made it look like they were in a relationship, and they were mostly group shots anyway, taken on day trips to Newfoundland, or on the beach with other friends. So her own followers, besides her close friends and family, had no idea she was even in a relationship. Still, it wasn’t fair to tease his fans, so she’d removed the posts all the same. Thinking of her instagram, she pulled her own phone out and took a picture of herself in the living room mirror with her tongue out, captioning it ‘head over to @charles_gillespie for an exciting announcement!’ before leaving her phone on the sidetable and grabbing her coffee from the kitchen.

“Okay, so we’ve waited like 3 years or something to do this. Guys, this is Alex. My girlfriend.” Alex walked into the frame and took a seat next to Charlie, avoiding eye contact with the camera. She wasn’t camera shy- she was a youtuber, it was second nature to her. But a bunch of batshit crazy fangirls? Terrifying. Charlie slipped an arm around her shoulders and made a show of bringing their heads together, plastering a silly grin on his face. His smile was infectious, and Alex mirrored it, sipping her coffee carefully before setting it down next to wear Charlie’s foot sat on the coffee table. “Knock that over and I’m kicking you out.” He laughed and kissed her hair, leaning forward to read the comments. 

“OMG, it’s @alexmvlogsz!”

“I knew it, there are old photos of the two of them everywhere.”

“It won’t be serious, they’ve probs only just got together.”

“She’s defo with him for the fame.”

“He’s too hot for her.”

“I’m so here for this!” 

Alex noticed Charlie’s frown and leant forward, reading them over his shoulder. “Ha, you guys are funny. Yes, hi it’s me, Alex. Yes, there are a lot of photos of us going around. Yuh okay you’re wrong, been together for like 4 years now I think? Also, we started dating while I had more followers than Charlie. So, uh go follow me because I’m cooler than him. Oh you are so right, he’s way too hot for me. And we are also here for this!” Charlie looked at her with an adoring smile, kissing her head again and pulling her into his side. “She’s hotter than me, actually. Anyways, this is Alex, love of my life. Just thought I’d share that with you guys.” Alex waved and laughed as a storm of comments came through, a combination of support and hate. “Okay, I’m gonna end it there. Bye y’all.” Charlie clicked the end button and collapsed back onto the sofa, frowning slightly. “People are so mean. Why can’t they just accept that I love you?” Alex shrugged and kissed him, moving to straddle his lap. “They will in time. But half of them are in love with you, they don’t want to accept it. It’s fine though, I’m used to it, don’t worry.” Charlie grumbled under his breath, leaning forward to rest his head against her chest. “Hey, while their all still on their phones, do me a favour and put a question box on your story for a Q&A video?” Charlie nodded and grabbed his phone from behind her, keeping one hand on her back so she didn’t fall. Alex yelped as he stood up, automatically wrapping her legs round his waist, and her arms round his neck. “What the fuck Charlie?” He laughed and wandered over to the same mirror Alex had taken her selfie in a few minutes earlier, holding up his phone and taking a photo of them. “For the story. I can post photos of you now, thank god.” Alex held on, resting her head on his shoulder as he typed behind her back, before tossing his phone onto the sofa and grinning at her. She raised her head and looked at him with her eyebrows raised. “Are you going to put me down now?” Charlie shook his head and walked towards the bathroom, arms wrapped around her. “I need a shower, and you’re joining me. “ Alex laughed but let him carry her, kissing along his jawline with a happy smile. 

*****

Hair soaking wet and faces flushed, they collapsed into bed side by side, Alex resting her head on Charlie’s chest. “I have an idea.” Charlie looked down at her, and ran his fingers through the damp strands of hair. “We should call Owen over. We’ll do a Q and A, but he has to read out the questions, and if we try to answer wrong or something, he can reveal the truth. Plus he can throw in his opinions, and it’ll be funny.” Charlie laughed softly, and nodded, reaching over to his nightstand to grab his phone. He clicked on Owen’s contact, and facetimed him, pulling the duvet up to cover Alex just in time. “I didn’t mean ask him right now. But okay.” Owen picked up, and grinned into the camera as he saw Charlie. “Hey, I’m just heading out to do some stuff but I can speak to you in the car. What’s up?” Charlie didn’t speak, simply angling the camera so that Owen could see them both, Alex’s red cheeks standing out against the white of the duvet cover pulled up to her shoulders. His face fell when he took in her appearance, groaning and pulling his hat over his face. “Look, Charlie, I love you, and I tolerate you Alex, but I saw enough of this in Vancouver. Seriously man, she has no clothes on.” Charlie nodded, and smirked. “Yuh, and she’s staying like that for the rest of the day. Anway, she wants to talk to you.” He handed the phone to Alex and sat up, reaching over to grab Alex’s phone from the charger. Owen rolled his eyes and sat Alex on his car stand, turning the keys in the ignition, and starting to drive. Alex made sure the sheet was tucked tightly under her arms, before moving out of Charlie’s grip, and leaning against the headboard. “Okay, so I was thinking.” Owen grunted in response and raised his eyebrows, avoiding looking at her. “Never a good thing. Just saying, if you flash me it’s not my fault, and manchild over there can’t get mad.” Charlie stuck his middle finger up at Owen, not looking up from Alex’s phone, which he was spamming with selfies. “Yeah, whatever. Anyway. I was thinking, Charlie just told all his followers we’re together- just incase you didn’t notice- and I want to do a Q & A on my channel. I think it’ll be even funnier if you ‘host’ it, and you can throw in random stories and opinions and whatever? You know us better than anyone,” Owen laughed bitterly and leaned forward, looking out his window. “Yeah, unfortunately. God, I was so happy when you went home. Okay, so when do you want to film this?” Alex looked over at Charlie and smiled seeing him scrolling through her instagram feed. “I don’t mind, when you next free?” Owen shrugged, and the familiar ticking of an indicator came through the phone. “As long as you two are fully clothed, I’ll come over on Wednesday? I have to come to LA to meet some people anyway, we can grab dinner after?” Alex nodded and watched as Charlie set her phone down, and slid down the bed, resting his head on her stomach. She ran her free hand through his hair, smiling as his eyes closed at the sensation. “Yeah that works. I’ll see if Sav wants to come too. Okay, I’ll see you then.” Owen nodded and waved at her, smiling as she flipped the camera to show Charlie. “He’s such a baby. Okay, you two go do whatever you two do. I’ll catch you later.” Charlie flipped him off once more, not lifting his head from where it rested, and Alex hung up. “You want a nap?” Charlie groaned slightly, indicating yes. “Cool, me too. Let me get the blinds.” Charlie sat up with an incredulous expression. “You woke up like an hour and a half ago woman, how are you tired already?” Alex looked at him with raised eyebrows and pulled a shirt out of their wardrobe. His shirt, to be clear. He watched as she dragged it over her head and flipped the blinds so that the room was darker, and held his arms out to her as she climbed back into their king sized bed, cuddling into his warm chest as they passed out for a couple of hours.

*******

“Hey guys! Most of you will already know, because we announced it a few days ago, but for those of you who don’t, today I’m introducing you to my boyfriend properly! The incredibly hot Charlie Gillespie.” Charlie waved awkwardly to the camera from his spot on the sofa, looking to Alex who was on the other side, almost 2 feet of space between them. “We figured we’d do a Q and A, so you guys sent in some questions, and well, we’re gonna answer them. Also, we have another special guest with us.” Owen appeared, and sat in between them, grinning at the camera. “Wouldn’t be a show without me. Okay so basically these two are disgustingly in love, and have been for a disgusting amount of time. Alex is using me for clout, and now you’re going to find out all of the gory details about their relationship.” Alex smacked him gently and handed him Charlie’s phone, the question response boxes all ready to read. “Okay, first question.

How long have you guys known eachother, and how did you meet? Owen looked between them, and pointed to Charlie. “I want to hear him get this wrong.” Charlie rolled his eyes and leaned forward, looking at Alex, who nodded. “Okay. We met nearly 4 years ago, when Alex moved over here for college. I was in LA that weekend, and I bumped into her in the street. We got to talking, and I ended up taking her out that night. That was pretty much it if I’m honest, nothing that exciting.” Alex scoffed and flipped her hair behind her shoulders. “Not quite. I took him out, and he fangirled the whole time. His sister had watched a few of my youtube videos, and he- and I quote- thought I was really pretty.” Charlie stuck his tongue out at her, and Owen groaned, resting his head in his hands. “We’re only one question in and I’m already sick of the both of you. Okay, next question.”

Do you guys live together, and if so where? Alex raised her eyebrows and laughed. “Most of the time we live together, yes. This is my apartment in LA, and I’d say we’re here at least 8 months of the year. But at christmas we go to New Brunswick to see Char’s family, and we go visit my family in thesummer. And sometimes I’m in New Zealand, and he’ll go on holiday with his boyfriend here.” Owen grinned and held Charlie’s hand, resting his head on his friends shoulder. Charlie leaned into him, making them appear like a very loved up couple. “Yeah, so we live together most of the time, apart from when we’re visiting friends or family, or if he’s working.” Charlie nodded and looked to Owen, who continued scrolling through boxes. “Oh my god some of these are dodgy. Jesus, look at this one!” He showed it to Alex, who burst out laughing. “Okay, I’m answering that but we’re not reading out the actual question.” She climbed to her feet and turned side on to the camera, smoothing out her t-shirt against her chest, giving a decent view of her side profile. “Whoever asked what kind of man Charlie is, I’ll let you figure that one out for yourself. He doesn’t get a choice in the matter- I only have one of the above.” Charlie read the question over Owen’s shoulder, before frowning and reaching out for Alex, pulling her onto his knee. “Shut up, you’re perfect and I love every bit of you.” He started peppering her face with kisses, laughing alongside her. Owen jumped to the other side of the sofa, grimacing. “Disgusting. Okay, next question. Ooh, this one’s juicy.”

Alex, do you and Madison get along, and have you ever been jealous of her relationship with Charlie? Owen made a show of trying not to laugh, and Alex rolled her eyes. “Mads is like a little sister to me. We get on really well, and her and Charlie’s relationship is best friends, nothing more. I mean, to be fair I’d totally adopt her if I could. Having her living with me would me pretty cool.” Charlie frowned and shook his head. “No. I’m not living with the both of you. You’d never stop singing.” Alex nodded happily. “And the only thing I’m jealous of her for is she doesn’t have to live with him. Or share a kitchen with him.” Charlie flicked her in the side of the head, kissing the afflicted area shortly after, while Owen nodded in agreement. “That brings us nicely on to the next one.”

Who’s got the worst eating habits? Owen rubbed the back of his neck and looked straight at the camera. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this. Alex is worse than Charlie, folks. And you’ve seen how he eats.” Charlie pushed Alex off him and jumped up, pointing his fingers at her as he danced around in front of the camera. Alex’s jaw dropped, and she leant forward, pointing at Charlie accusingly. “He eats eggs with peanut butter. Do you know how gross that is?” Charlie grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles, sinking back into his seat. “You eat ham, and peanut butter. You can’t talk.” Alex groaned and flipped him off behind Owen’s head. “Fine, what’s the next one?” Owen grinned and scrolled a bit, laughing out loud before putting the phone facedown.

Who’s most likely to get jealous? He smirked at the camera, and shared a look with Alex, who was grinning. They turned back to the camera and spoke simultaneously. “Charlie.” At his name, he groaned and grabbed a pillow, smothering his face with it. “Very much Charlie. Do you want to hear something funny? Of course you do. Owen, I’ll let you take this one.” Alex sat back, smiling smugly, while Charlie looked at her with pure betrayal written all over his face. “While we were in Vancouver last year, filming for the show, Alex here, came to stay with us for 2 months. This was the first time I’d met her, besides a few facetime calls. We got on really well, and hung out a lot on and off set, while I wasn’t filming. Our lovely Charlie, decided he was going to absolutely freak out about this, and started a fight in the middle of the freaking lot, in front of the entire cast and crew, because he thought I was after Alex.” Charlie groaned from behind the pillow, and Alex laughed. “He thought Owen was flirting with me, and yelled at him for a straight 7 minutes, while we just kinda stood there and looked at each other. I felt so bad, I took Charlie home that night and sat with him for like 3 hours, and then I took them both out for dinner the next night. It was weird.” Owen snorted and rubbed his forehead. “You did not just sit with him. I shared an apartment with you, I was in the next room.” Alex punched his arm, and leaned over to ruffle Charlie’s hair. “He’s just protective, you should see him when we go out together, he literally refuses to leave my side.” Owen nodded and smiled at Charlie’s flushed face. “He’s stupid protective of her. One of the crew members actually did flirt with her. We’re lucky the guy’s still alive.” Charlie rolled his eyes at them both and held his hands up. “I had to compete with an entire college full of guys to keep her. And I have 3 brothers. I’m used to fighting for what’s mine.” Alex smiled and stood up, pushing Owen into her spot and sitting beside him, taking Charlie’s hand. “Yeah, what he said. Next question Owen?” Owen shook his head and scrolled once more, raising his eyebrows occasionally. “Okay, this should be easy.”

Who’s the most annoying to live with? Charlie and Alex both immediately pointed to her, and Owen nodded his head. “Even just while we were in Vancouver, this girl drove me up the wall. I don’t know how Charlie does it.” Charlie smirked and rubbed his jaw. “He gets well compensated for his troubles.” Charlie shrugged and nodded, laughing at Owen’s expression. “She’s incapable of showering without leaving the entire bathroom flooded, she never does the laundry unless I phone her four times and ask her to do it, she has never touched the vaccum in her life, and the bed only gets made when she’s not living here. Not to mention she’s the messiest person in the world, and our room is literally carpeted with her- actually wait no, MY clothes, because she never wears her own stuff. Exhibit A.” Alex stood up and spun around, showing off her outfit of Charlie’s t-shirt and a pair of jeans. “He loves me for it though.” She dropped back onto the sofa, smiling as she felt Charlie’s arm slip around her waist and pull her in to his side. “Let’s do some nice ones.”

Are you guys morning people? All three of them laughed, and Alex buried her face in Charlie’s chest. “Owen, is like a late morning early afternoon person. I’m always up before 9, I like doing stuff in the mornings. I sleep in on Saturdays sometimes, or I’ll stay in bed and watch a movie with Alex. But Alex doesn’t get up unless she absolutely has to. Today she got up at like 1230 I think? And that’s early for her, and it was only after a lot of persuasion.” Alex bit her lip, remembering the persuasion Charlie had used that morning, and feeling a familiar heat take over her face. Owen pulled a face, also knowing what he meant, and gagged. “Disgusting. But yeah, I’ll second that. When she lived with us, we’d go home for lunch sometimes, or we’d have a halfday, and she’d still be sleeping. Like Charlie would go in and get her at like 4pm. And she’d wake up and go get coffee. At 4pm.” Charlie nodded, and Alex sighed, sitting up and brushing her hair out of her face. “In my defense, I’m normally up pretty late. I work best at night, and I can never fall asleep before like 3 or 4am.” She shrugged, and leant on Charlie, who was blushing ever so slightly. “We know, Alex, we know. Let me give you a piece of advice, folks. See if your best mate’s girlfriend comes to stay, after 2 months of being apart? Stay away from the apartment for at least 3 days. Maybe a week. Move out if you can. They kept me up, Every. Freaking. Night. I don’t know how Charlie was able to function at 5.30 in the morning, considering he could’ve gotten like maximum an hour of sleep. He was on vocal rest for a reason.” Owen raised his eyebrows at the camera, and Alex hid her face, while Charlie puffed out his cheeks and looked around, avoiding the camera. “Moving swiftly on, what’s the next question Owen?” The blonde grinned and scrolled once more, chuckling under his breath.

What’s your guys favourite thing to do together? Owen looked at them dubiously as Alex clapped her hands, and Charlie grinned. “Besides that.” Charlie rolled his eyes and reached over to clip Owen over the ear, and Alex ducked as they play fought over the top of her. Finally breaking apart, Charlie straightened his shirt and resumed his hold on Alex. “It’s between travelling and playing. With Alex’s family in the UK, and mine in Canada, we fly around quite a lot. Besides, we both love seeing new places, and we have friends all over the place.” Alex nodded and smiled excitedly. “I can’t wait, we’re going to see Mads for her 17th birthday next week- she doesnt’t know, but I won’t post this until we’re there, so it’ll be fine. And we went to visit my dad in New Zealand last month- that was fun. We went to Hawaii, of course, with Jer and that. That was incredible.” Charlie nodded, watching with an adoring expression as his girlfriend’s face lit up, while she spoke about the places she loved so much. “Hawaii was awesome, but I gotta say, going to the UK is like wow. It’s so different over there.” Alex looked at her feet shyly, nodding slightly. “For sure, and my friends are uh, very different from our friends here.” Charlie raised his eyebrows in agreement, feeling Alex’s grip on his hand get a little tighter. “But yeah, besides travelling it’s got to be playing together. We sing together all the time, I’m pretty sure our neighbours hate us.” Alex brightened up and laughed, nodding eagerly. “Honestly, most of the time that’s what we’re doing at like 1am. I’ll get a song stuck in my head and force Charlie to play it for me. He’s so much better at guitar than I am.” Charlie shook his head and held a hand out in excitement. “Nah, see when I tell you this girl can sing, oh my GAWD. There’s a reason I fell in love with her. And she plays piano, and guitar, although I am still teaching her that. And violin!! How cool is that? She’s teaching me. So yeah, our neighbours hate us.” Owen smiled as he watched his best friends talk about each other, the love between them so obvious and real. “Okay, we’ll do like two or three more.”

Who takes longer to get ready in the morning? Instantly pointing at each other, Owen laughed, and pointed to Charlie. “100% this man. She just throws her hair up and puts on whatever he wore the day before. This man has a full haircare routine, every fricking morning. Like seriously, it’s just hair!” Alex nodded in agreement, running her hands through Charlie’s hair. “It is very nice hair though. Nah for sure, Charlie takes longer to get ready first thing, but when we’re going out, it’s me. Like out out, I mean. I’m so indecisive. In Vancouver Savannah literally nearly stabbed me cause I was taking so long.” Charlie grinned and nodded, Owen mirroring his actions. “Never ask her to go out unless you have at least 4 hours to kill. 3 hours for her to be indecisive, and then another for her to be late.” Alex grinned and tilted her head to the side. “Girls, am I right? HA. I’m funny. Okay, moving on.”

Who’s most fun on a night out? Charlie and Owen pointed to Alex simultaneously, who just shrugged and nodded. “I was raised in Scotland, so when I drink, I drink hard. Nobody could keep up with me when we went out in Vancouver. Seriously, Charlie tried and we nearly had to take him to the ER.” Charlie scoffed at this, but the blush spreading up his neck said all that needed to be said. Owen laughed at the memory, and set the phone down. “No really, it was so funny. This tiny 5′5 girl knocking back vodka like it’s water, and Charlie’s trying not to throw up in the corner after like 2. This girl’s liver is deceased.” Alex grinned and kicked her feet up on the table proudly. “Proud drinker since I was 13. Shit, this is going on the internet. Okay, forget I said that. Owen?” Owen reached out and grabbed the phone, scrolling through again.

Do you have any tattoos? Owen rolled up his sleeve and showed off the ghost drummer on his forearm, and Charlie stood up next to him, placing their ghostly characters next to each other. They pulled their shirt sleeves down, and looked to Alex, who groaned and stood up. “I have a few, but they’re pretty small.” She came up close to the camera, followed by Charlie, who helped her pull the collar of her shirt down, and swept her hair away from the nape of her neck, revealing the small outline of a triangle at the top of her spine. “I’ve got that, and then-” She pulled her top up, and showed a single word written on her ribcage, in gaelic. ‘teine’. “It says fire, in scottish gaelic. And this one.” She held her hand up to the camera, showing a daffodil on the inside of her middle finger on her right hand. “And then I have another one on my leg, but obviously can’t show that.” She settled back onto the sofa, smacking Charlie when he laughed. “It’s hardly on her leg. It’s like-” She held a hand over his mouth and smiled at Owen, asking silently for the next question. “Oh wow, okay I like this one.”

Alex, how do you get along with the JATP cast, and who’s your favourite? Owen looked at Alex expectantly, who just rolled her eyes and crossed her legs. “I love them, so much. While Char was away I was constantly on the phone, and they’d just pass me around depending on who was filming. A lot of it was because Charlie was afraid I’d get lonely, but also because he was so busy that he could only grab a couple of minutes to speak to me every now and again. While I was in Vancouver, me and Owen definitely spent a lot of time together, and he showed me round the city while Charlie and Mads were doing perfect harmony shoots and stuff, which was an experience and a half. Note to self, Owen is incredibly competitive at arcade games.” Alex slipped her hand into Charlie’s as she spoke about her time with Owen, knowing he’d probably start overthinking it. “But Mads and I got super close. Like everytime the boys were filming we’d go to craft services and eat our weight in brownies. We made them a lot too, in the apartment. We literally facetime everyday. And Savannah too, oh my god I love that girl so much. She’s like my best friend. I wouldn’t have made it over there without her, she literally picked me up from the airport when someone forgot I was coming.” Charlie held his hands up in defense, and Alex rolled her eyes. “He didn’t forget I was coming, he just ‘lost track of time’. But honestly, I can’t pick a favourite, they’re like family to me.” She smiled at Owen, and leaned back against Charlie, meaning every word. “Aw. How cute. I’m the favourite. Next question. Oh wow, this is a biggie.”

Charlie, are you going to propose? Alex’s eyes widened, and she coughed, turning to look at Charlie. “Good question. It’s nearly four years. Where’s the ring, Charlieboy?” Charlie chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, leaning back against the sofa. “Got a while yet, got to train her up a bit better first.” Alex punched him in the arm, and he winced, rubbing it and glaring at her. “I’m joking, obviously. She’s only just 21, so we’re gonna wait a bit- but yes, I will. One day. If she doesn’t kill me with her cooking first.” Owen raised his eyebrows and brought a leg up underneath him, scrolling through the questions. Alex looked at Charlie with a pout, crossing her arms and moving away from him. “Oh my god, you’re such a child. Yes, I’m going to propose, just not now and not anytime soon! Yikes.” Alex grinned and kissed his cheek, waiting for the next question. “Right, we’ll make this the last one?” Alex and Charlie nodded, Alex tucking her legs up to her chest as she leaned back against Charlie, her head resting on his arm, which was thrown across the back of the couch.

What’s your favourite thing about each other? Alex smirked and looked Charlie up and down, winking at the camera. Charlie did something similar, his arm moving down the sofa and grabbing at her hip, making his intentions more than clear. Owen gagged, and spun round, holding his forehead in his hands and shaking his head. “Joking. I love Charlie’s passion. He gets so invested in the things he loves, and watching him speak about stuff he’s genuinely interested in and excited for is the cutest thing in the world. He gets these like sparkles in his eye, and he jumps up and down and god it’s adorable. I also like his abs. They are, in a word exquisite. Not to mention his arms.” Charlie rolled his eyes, but pressed a loving kiss to her temple. “I love how talented Alex is. There’s not really anything she can’t do. Literally, she’s musical, athletic, and she’s like stupid smart. She has a degree. From college. Like woah. And I also love when she gets super excited about something, or when she gets like really emotional- not sad, just when she’s feeling something really intensely, she starts like bouncing up and down in her seat, and clapping her hands or shaking them really fasr. It’s literally like the most adorable thing ever. And her ass. It’s pretty cool too.” Owen coughed and held a hand up. “Right well, there’s one thing she can’t do. She can’t dance. Like at all. It’s quite funny.” Charlie nodded, as did Alex. “Dancing, definitely not my forte. Also, when he says athletic, he means I played field hockey in high school and college. The most exercise I get now is when he’s hor-” Owen stood up quickly, and Charlie covered her mouth with his hand. “Okay, that’s all for this video! Hope you guys are suitably grossed out. Thanks for watching, goodbye!!!”

Owen turned off the camera, and Alex grinned before turning to Charlie, connecting her lips with his in a soft kiss. Finally being allowed to talk about her relationship was a major relief, after having to hide it for so long. “Gross, can you wait til I’m gone at least?” Alex rolled her eyes and flipped him off, climbing off the sofa. “No, cause we’re going out for dinner. Can you call Sav, baby? Let her know we’ll be like an hour?” Charlie nodded, watching her with a dazed smile as she wandered into their bedroom, already tying her long hair up out of the way for a hard session of outfit searching. “You’re in so deep with that one, man.” Owen looked at Charlie knowingly, who just shrugged and continued to smile. “What can I say. She’s the one.” Owen shook his head and rolled his eyes, but he was smiling, happy that another one of his best friends had found real love. Charlie scrolled through the contacts on Alex’s phone, clicking on Savannah’s name and raising the phone to his ear. He jumped when she picked up, holding the phone at arm’s length. “Oh my god, Sav it’s me, not Alex. She said to tell you we’re going out in a couple of hours, and to be ready to go for 7. That cool?” Savannah spoke rapidly on the other side of the line, agreeing and squealing with excitement when she heard Owen would be there. “I’ve missed you guys! Okay, see you soon!” Charlie hung up and set his girlfriend’s phone down, reaching for the remote, and turning on the TV. “Wanna watch the NHL?” Owen nodded, kicking his feet up on the coffee table, and looking at the clock on the wall. It was only half three.

#charliegillespieimagine #charliegillespie #charlie gillespie fic #charlesgillespie #charliegillespiesmut #jatpimagine #jatpcast #jatpimagines #jatpluke #jatpsmut #jatp #lukepattersonsmut #luke patterson imagine #lukepatterson #luke julie and the phantoms #julieandthephantomssmut #julie and the himbos #julieandthephantoms #julieandthephantomscast

[plounce]

a thing i am doing right now is i am writing a post-canon cardassia garashir fic BUT it is wholly made up of primary sources and secondary sources discussing garashir in later cardassian society because in present canon cardassia is like homophobic so their relationship was kept verrrrry private, so a lot of historians in the future debate over whether garak and bashir were together or not. ambiguity and all that. im a history major. all the secondary sources are post-post-canon when cardassia is like. more socially liberal about certain things, where the writers are reflecting on that period of cardassian history. anyway these are the sections i have written / planned so far

bashir's will that asks for certain documents to be preserved “for the sake of historical preservation, so that future generations may know Elim not just as a patriotic statesman but as a warm and loving man.” <-- homo

a book on present-canon cardassian homophobia, going into the social history. this section got really long because i talked about trans cardassians navigating around homophobia a lot. bc the homophobia is from a place of “you have to have children” but like (binary) trans ppl are okay so like those people who marry in ways that don’t appear childbearing tended to have children really quick to escape that. but yeah i still need to finish this bit bc i need to actually talk about the homophobia not just the trans people

list of cardassian homophobic slurs. yeah lmao i know. we have fun here. one of the ones for “lesbians” is “friend of sapohi” because i couldn’t resist making up lizard alien sappho

first physical letter garak sends bashir post-canon when there’s power shortages and bashir is stationed a long way away. they’re not together yet. sort of an introduction. these letters are one of the only personal documents garak left behind bc he’s paranoid and very private

a federation relief worker’s notes on a briefing about power rationing, which is some further explanation about why the fuck star trek people would be writing letters on paper instead of their weird ipads

second letter garak sends bashir. idk what’s gonna be in that yet but i do know garak says “your doodle of me was charming but inaccurate”. just one side of the conversation bc bashir kept his letters from garak while garak read the letters bashir sent him, memorized them, and destroyed them for security reasons.

record request emails from a cardassian history graduate student to a federation archivist asking for access to any messages from the o’briens about bashir but oh no :( the o’briens only marked for archival some videos of their grandkids :( and also a video of a random cardassian kid from bashir? weird. this one was really fun

one of the last messages bashir sent o’brien through starfleet comms that’s like right before he leaves for cardassia. nothing Concrete but definitely Hmmm-able

an excerpt from a book about the history of offworlders on cardassia, which includes a letter from one of garak’s political opponents as an example of reactionary xenophobia. basically it’s just a letter where this dude is very rude and homophobic about bashir. but it’s fine because he uses fake homophobia

political cartoon where bashir is portrayed as a seducer trying to get cardassia to assimilate into the federation. meant to be kind of funny imo. might commission karin to draw it for me. i think bashir tried to frame it in their house but garak like super hated it but idk if i can squeeze that in

transcript of an interview bashir gave on his views on cardassian politics, trying to be like “haha im just here to be a doctor, im not trying to be a spy or anything, but yeah i do agree with the people who like social programs and the rights of the disadvantaged etc etc”

an excerpt from a speech parmak gives like a decade after that after a piece of orphan rights legislation got passed that thanks bashir for the consultation and support. heheh

third letter from garak to bashir. probably like. subtly indicates that their relationship is on the verge of romantic. the last letter

a negative book review of a book that argues that garak and bashir were together. the review is just like “terrans are just Like That!!” plus some other stuff like “they lived together bc nobody would rent a house to an offworlder in this era!!” and stuff like that. im looking forward to writing this

the entries on garak and bashir from a children’s book on cardassian heroes. very saccharine and glossy and patriotic. bashir especially is like “once he stepped foot on cardassian soil he knew he loved this land” etc etc. amusingly inaccurate

the speech of one of garashir’s grandchildren (they take in some wards - non-blood related adoption is formally recognized on cardassia after the wards are of age) while accepting some medical award that thanks her grandfather elim garak for the support and her beloved elder julian bashir for his advice and support

a foreword from a book of poetry written by one of their GREAT-grandchildren who thanks his grandfather for the love of literature passed down to him. because Oh You Know

idk where this will go but cardassians discussing a federation documentary about The Heroes Of The Dominion War that says “oh yeah bashir went on to become the first naturalized citizen of cardassia. elim garak became an important figure in the new cardassian government. they were common law married” and the cardassians being like THEY REALLY SAID THAT? and some cardassians being mad and some cardassians being like Someone’s Fucking Saying It Finally!

still thinking of other sections that go a bit more into their children/married life. maybe also some other incidents. the thing about this is it’s such a fun little exercise to think of different ways to angle into this relationship and this society through surviving primary sources and variations on secondary sources. it’s a puzzle though because i want a lot of differentiation

im thinking ill conclude it with like their great great grandchild releasing some documents from them that confirm their relationships that were meant to published like a couple centuries later when hopefully cardassia was more accepting. because i want gay people to get the last laugh and assert their places in history and regain control over how society sees them. yk

sorry this post is like so insanely long and also kind of deranged in concept. im kind of fucking tired of my main twitter being this place where i have to remember that 21k people follow me (because i post c*tcrumb art on my main twtter) that im trying to make tumblr a place where i can just run my mouth yk. anyway. hey i got really into ds9 in the second week of march

#chirps #long post

[loser-writings]

HC || Fandoms they were in

This is pretty much just a crack drabble since I am currently attempting to catch up to all of the requests! Thank you for being Patient with me!

Dabi

This gremlin knows what Homestuck is and can’t stand the fact that he understands the references Toga makes to it. Also possibly one of the few who has actually read homestuck on this list, and won’t hesitate to correct Toga or Shigaraki if they fuck up a fact.

He also really is into The Walking Dead. You can’t tell me that Kurogiri doesn’t have a TV set up somewhere in the bar so he and Shigaraki can sit and watch. This does end up with the majority of the league having a once a week get together where Jin gets Pizza, Toga gets several boxes of soda for them, and Shigaraki sets up everything. 

Denki Kaminari

This bitch was into homestuck. Like he wasn’t just into homestuck, he was INTO homestuck. Most likely one of those kids that used to jump on Omegle in a shitty cosplay for those homestuck Omegle cosplay meets the fandom used to do. He also totally has a genderbent Nepeta cosplay, a Dave strider cosplay, and a Jake cosplay SOMEWHERE. Most likely to accidentally wear a homestuck shirt to class.

Never once picked up a Harry Potter book or watched the movie, but you know this kid has a hufflepuff robe in his closet and some hufflepuff merch. He doesn’t know shit about the actual canon since he is just there to vibe

Really into Kpop. BTS, Blackpink, ITZY, EXO, Ikon, BlockB, BigBang minus Seungri cause he is icky, SuperJunior, NCT, WINNER, Got7, Red Velvet, (F)x, and more. Like you can’t tell me this guy doesn’t listen to girl groups and shit like BTS. (His bias has to be J-hope) He also bops with Mina the most. These two also most likely post dance covers of the songs to instagram and TikTok, so they have quite the following. (But their best video was their “Boy In love” cover they did with Kirishima, Deku, Shoto,Jirou, Momo, and Bakugo.)

This kid was also into Five nights at Freddy. He owns all of the games and will still play them with the Bakusquad, but he is pretty quiet about this fandom just because of how BULLIED he was for enjoying it. 

LOVES Danganronpa too. Bakusquad do a weekly game night and they all went through all of the games. Let’s just say Denki cried a LOT at the deaths. Like a lot. (He may have a few cosplays of his own too)

Eijiro Kirishima

Kirishima liked Supernatural just because of how manly Sam and Dean are. Like fuck yeah, he wants a chevy impala too cause it is a beautiful car and wants to know how to protect yourself from shit like demons and angels. He never did much besides watch the show, cry a lot, and try to draw the characters. (Also he had a crush on Dean just cause of how badass and manly he is, but nobody can blame him)

He totally sat and watched Denki play Undertale, so he knows all about it. His favorite character is Undyne and he actually cried when they beat her in Genocide mode cause holy shit dude. That sucked. Oh and Sans. Fuck Sans.

He enjoys Kpop and will listen to it with the Bakusquad. He really admires BTS for how much of an impact they have made not only on his friends, but also the world itself and you can’t tell me that this guy doesn’t think the world of Kim Namjoon. Like he listens to Mono on repeat and is such a big RM fanboy. Also really likes Bigbang (He thinks Daesungs voice is so nice and will sleep to his singing if he could), and Kyungsoo is his favorite in Exo. Cried when Bigbang started coming back from the Military, and cried harder when Kyungsoo had to leave.

Danganronpa is a game he really enjoyed with his friends and will even replay from time to time. He gravitates towards the really manly characters, but some others have spots in his heart. Mondo, Sakura, Gundham, Nekomaru, Kaito, and Gonta were his favorites. Let’s just say the game didn’t treat him well.

Fumikage Tokoyami

He ended up picking up the Harry Potter books and fell in love with the world itself. You can’t tell me this guy doesn't have a limited edition trunk set of the books hidden in plain sight. Like everyone thinks that the trunk holds something like crystals or some bones or knives but nah. It’s just his Harry potter books. Oh and Midnight totally gave him a Ravenclaw scarf around the holidays. You can’t tell me otherwise.

Death note? Death note. Only to episode 25 though. 25 happened and he just hasn’t continued watching cause it isn’t the fucking same.

Hitoshi Shinsou

Shinsou liked Supernatural for a while, but he eventually lost interest. He did his best to also never get involved with much of the fandom since it honestly scared him a bit, but his fear didn’t stop him from posting some theories into discussion boards.

He listens to Kpop a bit since he hangs out with Denki a lot and found out he really enjoys Ikon, BlockB, BTS, 

Bitch was in the Creepypasta Fandom. Like not even the good ones, he was into Jeff the killer and Eyeless jack and all of those ones. Sure, he would listen to the others and read the crappy ones, but he had a phase he is mildly ashamed of now.

This kid loves everything relating to Stephen King. He will have conversations with Aizawa and Hizashi about the books, and they all agree that Kings writing can rather be extremely amazing, or be the equivalent of a 13 year old attempting to write smut for the first time. It’s so damn funny to him

Hizashi Yamada

He has read all of the harry potter books and actually enjoys them quite a bit, but he tries not to let that show too much. He does have a Slytherin lanyard that holds his keys though that Denki had mentioned. It managed to get Mic off track for the class period when he started discussing the books with the students (Mainly Izuku, Tokoyami, and Denki)

He watches The walking dead with Aizawa 

Actually bops to Kpop after the Bakusquad introduces it to him. Massive RM fanboy so he and Kirishima will occasionally go off about how admirable and badass he is. Like RM taught himself english just from watching Friends??? And Hizashi admires that so much. He also loves diving deeper into their lyrics since they normally have such good meanings.

Izuku Midoriya

Oh he loves Harry potter so damn much. He has the books on his shelf, a Gryffindor robe in his closet, a full uniform, and several wands. He is such a nerd so you can’t tell me he doesn’t have a special notebook that has notes on the spells, character analysis, and a variety of different facts.

Really enjoys listening to BTS! He doesn’t know much about other kpop groups, but he really enjoys dancing with Mina and Denki (even if Izuku has 2 left feet and struggles with dancing)

Had a Dragonball phase. Like this kid loVEs Dragonball. It’s actually one of the reasons why he and Katsuki grew to be friends since they both watched the show. They would talk about how they would beat Frieza or the Ginyu squad all of the time.

Katsuki Bakugo

This bastard finds himself actually enjoying Kpop after Mina and Denki go off about their favorite bands, and he really finds himself enjoying BTS, Day6, and SHINee. 

Danganronpa was a game he experienced with his friends and FUCK was it an adventure for him. He got really invested with the story and for a while, the Bakusquad chat was active as hell because of all of the theories he had. He fucking HATED Byakuya, actually shed some tears for Fuyuhikos’ character development and Gundhams death, and was about to throw hands during the 4th chapter of V3. It was a Rollercoaster of emotions, but he loved every moment of it.

This kid had a Dragonball Z phase. No shit he would wake up, watch an episode of Goku screaming, and then go out to play. Honestly this routine started when he was 5 and he will still occasionally watch it. He still loves Dragonball, and he totally has a collection of dragonballs somewhere.

After Shoto and Momo watch Rupauls Drag race in the Common room, He gets hooked. His dad is a fashion designer, so he finds himself really enjoying the fashion aspect of the show as well as the makeup part of it all. He actually does Minas’ makeup occasionally and once people start finding out, he becomes their makeup artist. The girls makeup, and occasionally he will do drag makeup on the guys if they ask. Sometimes the Drag viewing parties start by Bakugo doing everyones makeup and then ordering Pizza.

Mina Ashido

Mina fucking loves to dance and everybody knows that, so it’s no surprise that she manages to nail every damn Kpop she does. She really loves the variety of dances and she can match every vibe. A dance in heels? Shes got it. Hip hop? Oh hell yeah. Cute? Sure! Badass? Shes got this. She is really just a bop.

Danganronpa was an EXPERIENCE for her. She absolutely adored the cases that needed to be solved, cried at the characters, and adored the game. She totally cosplayed Tsumugi with Cospox once or twice with Denki just for giggles sake.

Totally was heads over heels for Ouran Highschool Host club. She thought the anime was so damn precious (She adores Hikaru) and was so sad that there hasn’t been a 2nd season, so she bought all of the manga.

Momo Yaoyorozu

She is a Kpop fan! She totally could be an idol since she can sing pretty well, has the face for it, can dance pretty well! Her favorite thing is rapping though. You can’t say that Momo wouldn’t be able to write some bad bitch raps and pull them off with ease. With her, Mina, Jirou, and Ochaco, they make one HELL of a Girl Group. They love to do covers of Blackpink, Red Velvet, CherryBullet, ITZY, and Mamamoo covers. Her biases have to be Jennie, Irene and Moonbyul.

Tamaki Amajiki

Flipped through homestuck when it started, really never got into it but admired the work people put into their cosplays. Knows basic character names and that buckets should be feared.

He actually used to really like My little Pony! He would NEVER call himself a brony, but he really enjoyed the show. He only watched a couple of seasons, but the show itself was pretty relaxing and managed to calm him down when he was feeling anxious. If anybody ever knew he had a my little pony phase though (And still actually will watch it from time to time) he might just die from embarrassment.

Want to play Legend of Zelda? Well Tamaki is your guy to talk to about it. He might start rambling and will completely forget about his anxiety for a moment before realizing how nerdy he sounds. He has a gamecube in his dorm to play Twilight princess and Ocarina of time, He has a Wii for Skyward sword, and god did this kid lock himself in his room when breath of the wild came out. He can speedrun it like none other (Seriously, if he let’s you watch him, you will be fucking surprised by how amazing he is.)

Gotta throw in Teen Titans. Seeing Beast boy use his power in so many badass ways gave him some pretty cool ideas for his own quirk.

Oh and Rupauls Drag race. Nobody would expect him to be a fan of drag race, but he actually does enjoy watching the goofy drama. If you’re dating, you better expect weekly Drag race with him. It’s pretty funny to watch him enjoy the show. Sometimes he gasps, laughs or bites his lip, eyes hooked to the screen.

Shoto Todoroki

Another motherfucker who could EASILY be an Idol if he wanted to be. He actually really enjoys Kpop after Momo introduced it to him. They both often bop to it together when they study or hang out. He is also most likely to be the one recording the dancing videos or editing them too since he really enjoys helping out the girls. 

Want to watch him nerd out? Watch the classic Godzilla movies with him. Like HOLY SHIT does this man love the 50s-70s Godzilla movies. Bring him a box set and he will rather hug you really tight or run to grab blankets from his room cause this dude ADORES these movies. (Especially the mothra one. Like he will cling to you, thank you over and over again, and watch them with almost childlike glee.)

This bitch bops with Rupauls Drag race. He really enjoys makeup and has debated on trying drag himself (Not that anybody would know that) but it’s kind of shocking to see that he is the one that started the Weekly Rupauls Drag Race viewing in the UA Dorms. 

Yugi Aoyama

His mother used to read Harry Potter to him to help him sleep when he was a child so he naturally knows a lot about it. He knows he is a Slytherin and when Izuku thought about it, it made sense. He is pretty arrogant and wants to impress with his upbringing and french lineage. He also makes it pretty hard to get to know him personally, so Izuku makes a note that he is a Slytherin.

Likes Kpop, but isn’t SUPER into it like Denki or Mina. He likes listening to BTS and Exo and his Biases are Seokjin and Chanyeol.

#aoyama x reader #mha aoyama #Aoyama #Yuga Aoyama #Aoyama Headcanons #todoroki #todoroki headcanons #mha imagines #mha x reader #mha headcanons #shoto torodoki #tamaki amakiji #tamaki amajiki x reader #tamaki amajiki headcanons #momo yaoyorozu #Momo #momo headcanons #mha momo #denki kaminari #denki x reader #mha denki #denki headcanons #kirishima #eijiro kirishima #kirishima x reader #kirishima headcanon #bnha tokoyami #tokoyami headcanons #bnha fumikage #tokoyami fukimage

[cozykozume]

Growing Pains

Slow Burn Tendou x f!reader

Chapter Four - No Friends are better than Mean Friends

WC: 1554

OC’s below:

Daiki, Ho-sook, Jules, Sofia - Readers high-school friends

Jazmin - Daichi’s girlfriend

Lysette - Ushijima’s girlfriend

Ayanna - Kuroo's girlfriend

I have tried to keep any identifying information out (body type, skin tone, hair color, etc.) but there may be some instances where it alludes to a curvier y/n.

Thank you so so much to all my beta readers so far, especially @hispipsqueak, @lemonadencran and @anime-nymph​

One thing you hated was that when you made a promise, it was extremely important that you kept the promise. Even if it was one you made to yourself. Which meant when Friday rolled around, you had prepped yourself the best you could to talk to them about this. You hadn’t really been able to talk to them since your semester started, usually using Friday night as time to catch up on homework or even get ahead in some classes. When they decided Friday nights for group calls, your opinion wasn’t really taken into consideration because that time worked for everyone else.

You settled onto your bed, laptop set up and snacks ready to go as you expected this to be a long call as it always had been with your friends. As you jumped into the call, turning your camera on you immediately noticed the silence in the call. “Uhh hey guys…” You said, unsure if there was a reason for the uncomfortable vibe you were getting from everyone. Sofia looked up from her phone, giving you a tight smile before her eyes dropped back down to her phone. Daiki and Jules barely acknowledged your presence, giving you a half hearted hello. The only person to actually greet you was Ho-Sook. “Hey y/n!” She said, her chipper voice bringing a wave of calmness over you as you took in the situation. “Sooo what’s up with the silent treatment guys?” You asked, reaching over for your sweatshirt that you had thrown on your bed that morning. “Us? Giving you the silent treatment?” Jules said, his voice coming out sharper than you expected.

You tilted your head, confusion taking over your face as you tried to remember what you might have done to upset your friends. “You realize that we have these calls every Friday night. And this is the first one that you could be bothered to join in over a month.” Daiki announced, Sofia and Jules nodding in agreement. “Come on guys. Adjusting to school isn’t easy I’m sure. It's not like y/n was purposely avoiding us.” Ho-Sook chimed in, a small smile on her face as she tried to calm the sudden tension in the call.  

You sat there, stunned as you stared at the screen. Thinking back, each time they invited you to join them, you always let them know exactly why you couldn’t make it. Whether it was a group project you needed to work on or getting caught up on work, you always communicated with them what was going on. You did have a tendency to leave out the part about Tendou, but still, you had not really hung out with him a whole lot in the evenings, especially on Friday nights. “I’ve always let you guys know why I couldn’t make it to our calls. I didn’t do it on purpose…” You replied, feeling uncomfortable with the way they were approaching the situation.

“Oh yeah. But you have plenty of time to fuck around with that red headed dude all day?” Daiki said, his tone dripping with attitude. Your emotions must have been written across your face because you could not recall how they would have had any clue about Tendou. “Yeah babes. Snapchat. We might not use it a lot, but we do still get on there. And you sure seem to post him a lot on there.” Daiki continued.

“So you’re mad because I made friends at school to hang out with? Shouldn’t you be happy that I was able to find people to spend my time with? As my friends, shouldn’t you want me to be happy and comfortable where I am?” You questioned, your attitude quickly matching that of your supposed friends.

“I mean...I’m not really mad about it, you know? It's not like she ignored us or ghosted us. She always lets us know why she can’t hang out with us…” Ho-Sook mumbled, clearly just as uncomfortable as you were with the conversation. Jules finally snapped, “We said we weren’t going to change. We PROMISED we wouldn’t change. You’ve been gone barely two months and boom. You have a whole set of new friends and you just threw us to the side. Were we even your friends to begin with? Because you sure seemed to have no issues getting rid of us that quick.”

You could feel tears forming in your eyes, not because you were upset by what he was saying. You were mad. No, you were furious. “First of all, life happens. Do you just expect to stay the same person you were in high school forever? The point of me going away to school was to experience new things, meet new people and discover myself and all that shit. I can’t do that while still staying the same person I was. I thought you knew that. In order to grow you have to change. You can’t grow while still staying the same. That’s literally a contradiction. Growing means change and it should be change for the better. And honestly, I think I am growing and changing for the better. The times you guys would ignore my calls and texts? I never got angry about it because I knew that you all were living your life and busy. The only person who ever called me back was Ho-Sook, and she's been the one keeping me up to date on everything. I may not have made the best effort I could to make our weekly hang out calls, but you guys didn’t try to reach out to me when I tried to connect. We have to meet each other halfway in order for us to stay close.” Tears falling down your face as your firsts shook, anger coursing through your body.

“Really? Because we all seemed to have no issues meeting each other halfway. It was you who couldn’t be bothered to meet us.” Sofia said, barely looking up from her phone to address you. Once again, Ho-Sook came to your defense, “I mean we did decide on Friday nights without really giving y/n a choice because it worked best for us…” Sofia dropped her phone in her lap, fully looking at her computer screen for the first time that evening. “Really Ho-Sook? Why do you keep defending her, knowing she's the one in the wrong?”

“You know what? Fuck it. Clearly you guys had no intention of actually hanging out tonight. This was just a chance for you to air your grievances with me and that's fine. This isn’t how friendships are supposed to work. They are suppos-” Daiki interrupted you, his voice dripping with disdain, “And how would you know what friendships are supposed to be? We’re your only friends and have been since high school. I doubt anyone from our high school would even remember you if you ran into them. We started hanging out with you because Ho-Sook took pity on you and didn’t want you to be all alone.”

It felt like someone took a baseball bat to your stomach while also kneeing you in the chest. You wiped the tears off your face, nodding your head as you gathered your thoughts. “Honestly, I’m not surprised. Things always felt a little off, with the exception of Ho-Sook. And even if she did take pity on me, she never made me feel that way.”

You look at your screen, thinking over the last 30 minutes or so and trying to figure out how you all had gotten there. Before anyone could say anything else, you closed out of the call. You weren’t sure how you were feeling, a weird mix of emotions filling your chest. You sat on your bed, your laptop still open and sitting in your lap as you stared off long into space. A thousand thoughts ran through your mind, but one recurring thought was Tendou. You wanted to be around him right now, you wanted to hear him laugh, cracking jokes with you as you snacked on random foods he would bring for you. You miss the way the corners of his eyes crinkled just a bit when he smiled really big, and honestly those were your favorite. The way he looked into you like no one else had in your life. There was something about that stare that could take your jumbled mind and slow it down, even for just a moment.  

Your phone pinged, finally drawing you back into reality. It was like Tendou knew when you were too lost in your head because he somehow always brought you out of it. You looked down to a slew of messages, each one making you smile.

Tendou: Okay I’m not sure what you’re doing but you have to watch this video

You opened the message, staring down at it while you attempted to put together a coherent thought. A few minutes pass, your mind drawing you back in before another ping brings you out.

Tendou: You know you have your read receipts on right?

Tendou: That video was only 30 seconds long!

Tendou: No. There’s no way you’re gonna tell me you didn’t think that was funny right?!

You picked your phone up, finally able to put together an actual thought.

Y/n: Hey do you wanna hang out?

#Haikyuu x reader #Tendou fluff #fluff #mostly fluff #tendou haikyuu #tendou x reader #cozykozume #Growing Pains #slow burn #tendou smut #suggestive #weebnation #fucking weebs #hq x reader #reader x tendou

[meruz]

replying to some asks - lots of weird preachy art advice. just trying to cram every sophomore year art school lecture into my blog

ANON, PLEASE SEND ME A PICTURE OF THIS..........................

glad to hear it!!!! I always love to see sketches from other artists but somehow when I post mine I feel like it’s just...cheap? like its not ““Real content”““ LOL... but if even one person likes to see it thats all I need to hear

very interesting question, thank you for being specific because that makes it a lot easier to answer. This is going to kind of sound like what every other artist tells you but

1) Go to figure drawing classes/sessions! I know we’re in the middle of a pandemic right now but actually that might even make it easier to find because a lot of figure drawing sessions are being held online atm! Anyways, I cannot possibly overemphasize the importance or studying the human form from life. It’s something that artists spend their whole lives studying and still learn new things about. Nude figure sessions are far preferred over clothed ones especially for beginners but, really, any practice from life helps. Whenever you draw from observation, make sure to step back and really look at your model and then your drawing. What discrepancies do you see, what feels like its missing, where do you think you can improve, etc etc. developing a critical eye is crucial.

I think figure drawing classes are the best method by far but theres plenty of other ways to get the practice in. I do a lot of cafe drawing and drawing on public transport, personally. Drawing from life is vastly preferred over drawing from photo reference because the human body is a living thing and conveying it properly means understanding 3D space and gesture and movement, all things that are easier to perceive irl. A lot of artists draw from dance videos on youtube to at least get the idea of movement even if it’s ultimately from a 2D screen. Recently, I’ve been drawing a lot from rock climbing videos on youtube!

because they’re climbing you actually get a lot of interesting angles LOL... good study of pose-to-pose relationships too, actually..

2) Practice dynamically. If you can develop the eye to figure out where your drawings are lacking, you can practice with those weaknesses in mind. If you realize you don’t really understand the structure of a foot or the back of the head or the back when it’s arched, look up references and practice those things specifically. Sometimes it’s not in the specifics but the general - if you realize you have a hard time proportioning out the figure, draw guides for yourself and set goals to draw proportions before details. Stuff like that.

3) Box Trick. This is just the simplest way to get a set of guidelines down for perspective on the human body the same way you put down guidelines to figure out where the eyes sit on the head LOL.

but here’s something to keep in mind regardless: perspective is a game. You’re tricking the eye into thinking something is close or far when actually its just sitting on the same 2D plane as everything else. You can do the math and make all the guides you want but at the end of the day its either going to look convincing or its not. And being convincing is a lot less about being accurate and a lot more about confidently selling your point. So don’t sweat the calculations of proportions, make hands or heads or feet as big as you feel is right and trust your eye and your gut over your brain.

Hi, yeah sure go ahead! As long as you link+credit me, I don’t mind my work being used for non-profit purposes. Especially fanart like.. I don’t even own these characters LOL. Just, if you edit my art, please don’t use it to perpetuate like...hate speech or even edgy politics... unless they are edgy politics I have explicitly endorsed LOL. If you’re ever on the fence abt it feel free to ask, of course!

TYSSMMM yeah ideally I guess its just ? group therapy LOL? I feel like actually Ryuji, Akechi, and Haru are characters we see very rarely interact and when they do they seem very alienated by each other?? So I think it would actually be great for them to chat LOL they have a lot in common especially the fondness for direct action.

VERY NICE THINGS TO SAY TYSMMMMMMMMMM

I guess since I was old enough to hold a crayon? Doesn’t every kid draw? 

But if you mean when I started seriously drawing and trying to get better.. I guess I started carrying a sketchbook when I was 12-13 years old and I’m turning 25 in a couple days so it’s been 12-13 years about. I don’t believe that years have any huge bearing on art progress though. You can be drawing for 50 years without ever deepening or widening your skill set, if you stick to the same old patterns day in and day out. Similarly an artist who is proactive with learning new skills and targeting their weaknesses can improve in leaps and bounds in a matter of weeks.

The style I currently use for painting, I only really started using.... about 3 years ago? When I was a senior in college.

but i wouldn’t say I’ve “““mastered”““ it and I doubt I really ever will because I don’t think that’s the point... I’m constantly changing things depending on how I want a painting to look or the way I want it to feel... or how I feel on any given day LOL

the thing about art style is I don’t think it’s actually something you have to work on or “find”. An artist should change the way they draw depending on the subjects or techniques they want to explore. If I wanted to convey comedy, I’d draw characters differently from how I would if I wanted to portray drama. And if I wanted to focus on lighting I’d paint differently from how I would if I wanted to focus on the details of the human form. When I was drawing a lot of digimon fanart earlier this year I drew differently from how I’m drawing now while putting out a lot of persona 5 fanart LOL - even when the content is similar the characters have different gestures and different tone that I convey through any number of things, proportion, rendering, edge definition, color range, etc etc.

as you experiment with techniques and approaches undoubtedly there’ll be some you’re naturally better at or more interested in than others. and i think that’s what a person’s “art style” really is, the stuff that you gravitate to and come back to over and over even as you transform and explore.

not sure if that makes sense but.. that’s my two cents, anyway.

yea hit me uppp dude [email protected] lmk what you want and I’ll give you a quote

#art advice??? LOL #ask #anon #anonymous #parkore #whatevayouwannacallit #lesbianellliesattler

[mrallnight57-blog]

Crystal of Mordokia

Chapter 2

    When the school bell rang, Sherrie quickly went to her locker, grabbed her bag, and made her way out of the school building.

   As soon as Sherrie got off school property, she pulled out her phone, then she found a near by bench to sit down. After scrolling through several Facebook posts, she found the one she was looking for.

    She went to The Disciples Facebook page and pulled up their latest video. The video had the four members of the band: Kyle, John, Morris, and Burt, talking to some really old radio dj.

   Burt was Sherrie's favorite, with his long blonde hair, and blue eyes, he also wore a cool Leather Jacket, and his tight black leather jeans just made him so damn hot. The rest of the band was sexy too, but Burt was to die for. Just so damn hot.

   Sherrie watched the interview, the old man was asking about the new album. Burt answered most of the questions, Sherri learned that the new album would drop next month, and there new single would be called the anthem of Widow Maker, what ever the hell that meant, but what she really wanted to know was what time, and where the show was going to be tonight.

   Finally the old man asked the question. "So this show you're doing here in town isn't on your tour schedule. What made you all want to do a show here?"

   Burt brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Because tonight is a historic night. The Gothic Lights are going to usher in a new age for the world to see, and we get to be a part of that history, that unveiling. We would not miss this for the world.

   The old radio dj, was shocked by the answer. "Wait I thought The Gothic Lights were a cult."

   Kyle seemed to be offended by the radio dj's reaction. "Cult!?!" Buddy. The Gothic Lights are the one true religion." The other band members seem to agree. Plus Kyle was a large frame man with him wearing all black, complimenting his dark hair, and brown eyes. He did not look like a dude you would want to piss off.

   The old man still seemed thrown off by the bands attitude. "That's a pretty bold statement. Aren't you afraid you might alienate some of your fans by saying that?"

    Morris, the smallest member of the band, chimed in. He also had long dark hair like Kyle, but he always sported his trademark nose ring. "Look dude. If our fans aren't willing to follow in the light, then those aren't fans we want."

   John, the one who seemed like the sweet heart of the group, his hair was slightly less dark than Kyle and Morris, and was only a little bit bigger than Morris, spoke in a soothing voice. "Look at all the evil that is in the world today. Drug dealers around every corner, mass shootings every week, and greedy corporations selling out their own country just to make a profit. The Gothic Lights want to bring an end to all that."

   Burt gave a nod towards Morris, then added. "There suppose to be a balance between the good and evil and when that balance is off, it's up to evil to put the balance back, before God gets angry. So if people see the Gothic Lights as evil. They fail to see just how important the Gothic Lights are and in the end, all who don't support them, will parish."

    The old dj seemed to be really thrown off by their answers, and so was Sherrie. Like most people she thought the Gothic Lights were a crazy cult. The group had only been around for the last 5 months, but their leader, someone who went by the name Gothic Mirror had been all over the news, making headlines, and has been attracting more and more followers, now it looks like he had even gotten The Disciples to follow him. Maybe The Gothic Lights are legit.

  As Sherrie ponder whether or not the Gothic Lights were legit, she suddenly heard a voice. "Hey little girl. What are you doing over there?" The voice took her off guard, but she recognized it immediately. It was her Dad. Her real Dad.

   Sherrie hadn't seen her real dad for years. In fact he was told to stay away from her. He was a member of a group called The Punk Rockers, a violent motorcycle gang, wanted in several states. When Sherrie saw her dad he was wearing the Gang's colors proudly. He wore a jean jacket, and black pants, but what really made him stand out was his big blonde Mohawk. She remembered her mom saying she was in a rebellious faze, when the 2 of them dated.

   Sherrie was happy to see her father, but she was nervous as well. "Dad! What are you doing here? You know we can't be seen together."

    "Shhh!" Sherrie's dad put his finger to his lips. "Quiet now. I know all that, but I have a surprise for you. So don't draw any attention to us."

    Sherrie rolled her eyes. "Dad your a 40 year old man with a giant Mohawk, talking to a teenage girl, and you are worried about me drawing attention to us."

    Sherrie's dad laughed. "Ha ha. Good point. So I need to make this quick." Sherrie's dad reached into his jean jacket, and pulled out a package and handed it to Sherrie. The package was wrapped, but it was clearly a cd.

    Sherrie gave her dad an awkward look. "Dad I listen to music on my IPhone. I don't even have a cd player."

    Sherrie's dad frowned. "Just open it!"

    Sherrie opened the package, "Holy crap!!! This album wasn't supposed to be out until next month!"

   Sherrie stared at the cd, it was definitely The Disciples latest album, but according to the information online the release date was a month away.

    Sherrie looked up at her dad. "How did you get this?"

   Sherrie's dad smiled. "Well, you see what happened was, your dad is actually friends with the band. In fact, that show there having tonight. Me and the boys will be working security there."

  "Really!?!" Sherrie's eyes widen. "Oh my God!!! You got to get me in."

    "Calm down!" Sherrie's dad put his palm up. "I can do better than get you into the show, I can get you backstage with them. All you gotta do is be at the Gothic complex tonight at seven, and whatever you do, don't tell your mom. If she finds out we have been talking. We will both be up shit creek.

    Sherrie wrapped her arms tight around her dad, and squeezed as hard as she could. "Thank you so much dad. I think when I grow up I want to be just like you." Then Sherrie looked up at her dad's hair. "By the way do I have to have a mohawk to be in the Punk Rockers?"

   Sherrie's dad laughed. "I'm sure they would make an exception for you."

#horror #super hero #supernatural #my writing

[nonpuppet-sanderssides-ep]

Learning New Things about Ourselves Transcript

This transcript was done by @rosesisupposes​ @everphantom @crushingonanartist @fandomsofrandom​ (who’s urls may or may not have changed at some point, and others, who’s urls had been lost to time and my disorganization.)

This transcript was created for the purpose of creating a comic-version of the video for those who were uncomfortable with the puppetry. This project has been effectively abandoned, and the blog shall be treated as an archive for the work that had been completed. (as explained in this post)

The transcript had been partly split up to create places for artists to draw individual sections, which has remained in tact in this transcript. If people want to utilize this transcript for creating a comic or drawing, I entirely welcome it! As long as all the characters follow a human design, tag this blog and I’ll reblog it. 

14:58 Thomas: Oh, Logan! You’re up!

14:59 Logan: If by up you mean I am not down...to do this, you are correct. 

15:04 Roman: Oh big surprise coming from no fun-son honey dew-dew. Last second addition there, made it, stuck the landing.

15:10 Patton: Aw, Logan come on! We need you at the table if we’re gonna be learning!

15:14 Logan: Please. It has become quite clear that me cosigning all of your ridiculous antics is just a formality. When all of you decided on using puppets to address a serious issue, logic was already figuratively thrown out the window.

15:25 Roman: *dramatic sigh* Again, you don’t have to use the word figuratively. We know you that you weren’t literally thrown out of a window.

15:31 Logan: How? Have you been watching me constantly?

15:33 Patton: Don’t assume Roman! You know what happens when you assume. You make an as out of su and me. 

15:39 Logan: *exasperated sigh* *mumbled* Thank you Patton. *back to normal volume* I just don’t want to concern anybody by suggesting I was throw through a window. I wanted to communicate five by five that I’m five by five. 

15:47 Thomas: It’s okay Roman, his intentions are there. I mean, who does going above and beyond with clarity hurt?

15:54 Roman: Going above and beyond? *laugh* More like going overboard. It’s stupid.

15:58 *Logan inhales, glares at Roman as he crumples up a paper and throws it at Roman with a yell*

16:01 Roman: Ow! Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh!

16:02 Patton: Meep meep!**

16:03 Roman: You hit me in the eye. You hit me in the eye, you freaking bookgerm!

16:07 Virgil: Geez, L, that was pretty rough.

16:09 Logan: Eh- I’m sorry. I-I don’t know what that was. *pause* Maybe I should go.

16:13 Patton: NO! We are not about to leave it there, mister! We can’t continue this convo, if you’re gone-zo

16:21 Thomas: THAT’S RIGHT!

16:21 Thomas: Look, Logan, you can be like one of those Sesame Street human friends!

16:27 Logan: Like Maria?

16:28 Thomas: Like Maria!

16:29 Logan: Okay... I mean, a more accurate comparison would be that you’re our Big Bird, and we’re all your… Snuffleupagus**.

16:36 Thomas: Pre-1985, before they canonically confirmed Snuffleupagus wasn’t imaginary.

16:40 Logan: Of course. *softly* Clarity

16:41 Roman: Hmph-

16:42 Logan: Okay, so- you’re puppets. Care to explain to me how this is going to help?

16:47 Patton: Well, we could start by having an open and honest conversation about our feelings?

16:54 Thomas: *takes a deep breath*

16:55 Roman: Hmmm… 

16:56 Virgil: *groans softly*

16:57 Thomas: I don’t think so.

16:57 Roman: Yeah, I don’t like that.

16:58 Virgil: I’d rather go live in a garbage can.

16:59 Patton: No! Really, this is important, guys! Thomas, you have to face your feelings head-on! Tell me… *singing* do you ever feel like a paper bag?

17:10 Thomas: Wha- I thought we were talking about a loop!

17:13 Patton: Well, how do you suppose we get out of the loop, mister Looper?

17:16 Thomas: Well, I guess I don’t know… but I mean... like- what do I have to feel bad about? I mean, really. Like- yeah, I feel iffy with my videos. So what?

17:27 *Roman sighs as Thomas continues*

17:27 Thomas: Big deal. The ‘problems’ I have wouldn’t even exist without all of the incredible privileges I’ve received. I should feel lucky. I asked for this. So I- I don’t feel like I’ve got a right to feel this way, but-

17:42 Patton: Thomas, that’s ridiculous! Now should you count your blessings? Absolutely! Lots of people are way worse off! 

17:49 Thomas: … oh

17:50 Patton: Yeah, I should not have said that as cheery as I did. --break-- *louder* But… you shouldn’t feel guilty for having feelings! Sure, sometimes your feelings may not make sense, but it’s not your feelings job to make sense! You just… experience them. And you have to do your best to deal with them.

18:07 Thomas: Well that… makes sense. 

18:11 Patton: Not talking about them... is not dealing with them.

18:14 Thomas: Yeah, but I don’t even know where to begin talking about my feelings, because I don’t… understand them right now.

18:19 Virgil: Maybe you won’t have to understand your feelings if you fix the problem.

18:24 Patton: Well…

18:25 Virgil: Logan’s gotta cool it with the deadlines.

18:26 Logan: What?

18:27 Roman: *blows a kiss at Virgil* Thank you!

18:28 Virgil: Too much pressure.

18:29 Logan: Oh, I’m sorry. Except I’m not! Are the deadlines really the cause of that pressure, or is it… I don’t know… *quickly* Roman’s inability to perform adequately?

18:35 Roman: *offended gasp* No!

18:37 Virgil: Well- it’s a little of that. 

18:38 Roman: *weird shocked noise[?]* What??

18:40 Logan: Exactly, boom.

18:40 Virgil: Look dude, doesn’t it make sense to think you have something to do with this? The issue has to do with creating content and his pride? That’s a lot of you.

18:48 Roman: Well pardon me, Vomit-y Central, but when were either of you the experts on creative content? Who are you to criticize my work??

18:58 Virgil: Oh my gosh, what is up your butt?

19:00 Roman: An arm!

 19:00-19:34

THOMAS: Okay, I think it’s clear that pointing fingers is getting us nowhere. So let’s avoid that

PATTON: [Pointing at Thomas] Agreed. Oh, butterfingers!

VIRGIL: [Muttering] That’s not what butterfingers means

THOMAS: Logan, would it be fair to say that with all of this arguing, order is not actually being obtained?

LOGAN: Perhaps we are in a state of disorder because no one is adhering to my instruction

THOMAS: Okay, okay, well, okay, I’m - I’m happy to hear you out, then. What do you think we should do, Logan?

PATTON: Yeah, Logan, help us out, what can you tell us about learning new things about ourselves?

19:34-19:58

LOGAN: Well, it all goes back to the point you made earlier, Patton. Asking the right question: why?

ROMAN: That’s right, today’s video is brought to you by the letter “Y”

LOGAN: No, stop it, stop it, the question “why,” W-H-Y. “Why?” So much of what you feel, Thomas, comes down to whether or not your actions are aligning with your goals.

PATTON: Oh! I think I get it!

LOGAN: What?

PATTON: Yeah!

19:58 - 20:12 [Cut Scene]

[Electric Company Bit: Profiles of Patton and Thomas]

PATTON: Why do you make videos?

THOMAS: Because they’re fun

PATTON: Why did you make it a job?

THOMAS: So I could support myself, and so I could try bigger things

PATTON: Why did your old friend’s question stick with you?

THOMAS: Because…

[End cut scene]

20:12-20:42

THOMAS: Because I always wonder if I’m doing the right thing for a living

LOGAN: Okay, interesting! Elaborate on that. And nobody do any puppet bits

PATTON: Well, that was from The Electric Company

LOGAN: [Waving arms at Patton] Shhhhhh. Thomas?

THOMAS: I don’t know, I guess… As far as I know, we have one life, and I guess I have doubts about… whether or not I’m making the most of mine.

LOGAN: Okay! We’re getting somewhere. Expand upon those doubts

THOMAS: Oh man, um, I… I don’t even know where to go from there

20:42-21:02

LOGAN: I mean if you asked me, I could certainly list off several factors that could be contributing to your doubts.

[Cut to Thomas, then Patton, then Roman all silently looking around as well. No one responds]

LOGAN: If you asked me, I could… gladly share them

THOMAS: [Sigh]

ROMAN: Welp

VIRGIL: [Sigh]

LOGAN: Just lemme know if you want to hear what I have to say

21:02-21:45 epilepsy warning

VIRGIL: Hey Logan, can you list off some of those factors you mentioned?

LOGAN: I’m glad you asked, Virgil. Firstly, there’s no job security, I mean, people fall out of public favor very quickly

VIRGIL: One! One cause of unease, ah ah ah [lightning flash]

LOGAN: You’re balancing a great deal of responsibilities. People have limits; perhaps you can’t continue at this pace indefinitely 

VIRGIL: Two! Two nervous thoughts, ah ah ah [lightning flash]

LOGAN: Your work is inessential. Several may claim that they have been [air quotes] “inspired” by one thing you’ve said or another, but who’s to say they couldn’t have found the inspiration they needed elsewhere?

VIRGIL: Three. Three depressing speculations, ah ah ah [lightning flash]

LOGAN: And oh, oh! I can think of another one. No one takes you seriously!

PATTON: [Audible gasp]

VIRGIL: Four. Four uncomfortable characters in this room right now.

THOMAS: Logan, is that really what you think?

-

LOGAN: Thomas, I have held back my opinions for too long, and that’s obviously not benefiting you. I refuse to withhold my perspective any longer. You need to get a real job.

ROMAN: Hey, yeah! Like being a movie star!

LOGAN: No! A real job.

VIRGIL: Sheesh, you sloppily eat some jam, accidentally make a few puns and now you’re all sensitive about not being taken seriously?

LOGAN: [Interrupting] I’m not a joke! I mean, I can’t be thought of as such. Because there will be times in which I must be heeded and given our current circumstances, I clearly haven’t been. So I’m saying what must be said. I can’t tolerate this foolishness any longer. [To Thomas] You need to change your life around.

-

VIRGIL: Logan, I appreciate what you bring to the table and all, but the thing you just recommended would be a massive change in Thomas’ life sooo I kinda hate you a little bit right now andddd shut your dirty mouth

LOGAN: Ah, typical

THOMAS: I don’t know, Virge, maybe he’s right. Maybe that’s the cause of all this

VIRGIL: Thomas, don’t start. I have plenty of hate to go around

PATTON: Ohhh very funny, Virgil, you cute little muppet! Thomas, you know he doesn’t mean it. And Logan, that was… helpful! When the chips were down, you brought up some very meaty points, you ol’ crackerjack, but this stuff is more than just silly or cheesy, and I’m sorry I keep bringing up food, it’s just the inside of this bag smells like first grade lunch in the cafeteria and so many memories!

ROMAN: [Snaps] Patton, stay with us

23:17

PATTON: Sorry! Boy, I really milked that bit, wakawaka!

ROMAN: (stares in silence, before taking a deep breath) What I think Patton is trying to say is that Logan’s just proven that he’s the worst, and that he’s been the thorn in your side all along

VIRGIL: Could you even contribute like an ounce of constructive input to our conversation today, Dr. Doo-the-Most?

ROMAN: Okay, why don’t you just go get lost in a dryer

VIRGIL: You know, Roman, it’s just too bad your brain isn’t as big as that chin

ROMAN: Well you smell like FOOT!

THOMAS: Roman-

ROMAN: No, Thomas, I know. That wasn’t helpful. In truth, I do feel bad

THOMAS: You do?

ROMAN: Yes

VIRGIL: Well then maybe you should say you’re sorry

ROMAN: You’re right

VIRGIL: Oh, really?

ROMAN: Logan-

VIRGIL: Okay

ROMAN: -earlier, I made you angry. I do that quite a bit, actually. I provoke you, and you retaliated with violence… like a stupid caveman. But! I am responsible for my actions and my actions alone. So, I’m sorry.

LOGAN: Oh, well. That’s. Very kind.

ROMAN: Okay, well, I gave that a shot. I still feel bad.

PATTON: Well, why not try expressing your feelings in a way that makes sense for you?

24:27

ROMAN: Well, that might work. Let’s see (clears throat, then gestures to his right) Maestro?

[MUSIC STARTS]

[Singing] So you’ve gone and called someone stupid And in response, they damaged your eye But, there is where the conflict must end Lest you both end up blind

LOGAN: [Speaking] Another song? Really?

ROMAN: [Singing] Sometimes, the problems at play Are not all plain to see So, we lash out at our loved ones Disregarding our bond sanctity PATTON: There are several sides to us that may seem abstract at first Until we discover where everything fits And, people can be like a half-missing puzzle set As we find the pieces, things make more and more sense THOMAS: Nice imagery, but I'm not sure I follow.

25:27 - 26:00

PATTON: Well I’ll give you an example.

PATTON: [Singing] I had this problem where I’d often hide my less than awesome feelings so when I would feel like sobbing I’d just smile and crack jokes! I thought that that was coping. Only joking, never showing sadness, hoping it would go away.

LOGAN: [Spoken] Did that work?

PATTON: [Singing] Nope! I still felt bad

ROMAN: [Spoken] Aw pat..

PATTON: [Singing] It’s okay

THOMAS: [Spoken] How’s that?

PATTON: [Singing] Everybody gets sad. Even dads that have people to care for! And therefore- You don’t have to hide your pain. Life without rainy days is incomplete!

PATTON: [Speaking] Or, like not even a thing, you know? Rain goes to plants, plants feed animals, plant-eating animals feed animal-eating animals, and humans feed animals corn and inject them with hormones until they can barely walk anymore

THOMAS: Patton?

PATTON: Yes?

THOMAS: How does all that relate to rain?

PATTON: Oh, right! Rainy days. Forgot what I was talking about. Umm... putting it simply, rain is a necessary piece of the puzzle that is, uh, life.

LOGAN: So true. Are we done singing, or is this just one of those musical interludes?

26:22

VIRGIL: On the subject of storm clouds because, you know, you need storm clouds to... make... rain. I'm just gonna get into it. [Singing] You once knew me as real gloomy This weird spooky broody dude Because I knew you'd listen to me As too scary to ignore I thought that I could take it All the hate could just be shaken But when you lo-- care for someone Not much hurts more than their scorn I also felt bad 

ROMAN: [Speaking] Come, now

VIRGIL: [Singing] In a different way 

THOMAS: [Speaking] Different how?

VIRGIL: [Singing] By bad I mean, well, mean But I did what I thought that I had to Which is bad, too I don't have to act all tough

THOMAS: Sometimes love is enough

PATTON: Or what we need

27:00 [END]

#non-puppet ep project #learning new things about ourselves #transcript #sanders sides