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thelordofgifs · 1 year

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On Maglor’s Fate

(and why it’s a good thing)

I’ve seen several excellent posts by people far more knowledgeable about HoME than I pointing out that Maglor’s fate in the published silm – wandering the shores in eternal lament – was in fact taken by Christopher Tolkien from a single draft of the legendarium, and that JRRT’s later conception of Maglor’s fate was that he died by suicide at the same time as Maedhros, casting himself into the sea along with his Silmaril. This is a very good point, but despite the fandom’s general lack of adherence to published silm canon (see the prevalence of crispy Amrod truthers, or the lack of consensus on Gil-galad’s parentage) most people seem to have cleaved rather strongly to the idea of Maglor’s survival. Why?

Well, I would like to argue, because it’s SO much more interesting.

Of course, your headcanons are valid! If you prefer thinking that Maglor died at the end of the First Age, go for it; most of the texts support you! But for all the Maglor girlies (gender-neutral) out there, here’s a non-exhaustive list of reasons why Maglor’s survival is better, more satisfying storytelling, and you should continue to cling to this one outdated draft of the silm.

It fits Maglor’s arc better. For such a popular character, I always find it interesting that Maglor is only really developed in the final chapter of the silm – but what we do get in that final chapter is so fascinating. He takes pity on Elrond and Elros, he speaks against stealing the Silmarils, and, most pertinently to my point here, he effectively relinquishes his claim to Eärendil’s Silmaril. The straight line from "its glory is seen now by many, and is yet secure from all evil", to wanting to surrender to Eönwë, to actually throwing a Silmaril into the sea is SO delicious. A lot of that character growth is wiped out if Maglor instead casts both himself and the Silmaril into the sea.

It better sets up Maglor as a foil to Maedhros. I will never shut up about how Maglor's last debate with Maedhros is the best and most heartbreaking dialogue in the book. Its construction is exquisite, and one of the things I love about it the most is the way they mirror each other's words, becoming, in a way, reflections of each other. ("Who shall release us?"—"If none can release us...") All of Maglor's actions in the final chapter are in direct contrast to Maedhros': compare the fostering of Elrond and Elros with Maedhros' failure to save Eluréd and Elurín, and then consider why it is that Maglor still seems to have some hope that things will all work out (which is why he wants to surrender) while Maedhros despairs completely. That contrast makes it important to me that Maglor reacts in a different, more optimistic manner than Maedhros to the Silmarils burning them. ("More optimistic" by the bleak bleak standards of the end of the silm, at least.) I also really like the kidnap fam parallels of Elros and Maedhros both choosing death in very different ways, whereas Elrond and Maglor both choose life - E&E almost repeating M&M's decisions in a healthier and more wholesome manner.

It better preserves Maedhros' arc. Leading on from the last point, but, I think, separate. Maedhros' suicide, in addition to being just ridiculously tragic, is fascinating. The despair, the profundity of the realisation that it was all for nothing, the idea that Maedhros, who spent decades as a captive of Morgoth, is the one person knows exactly what being burned by the Silmarils means - aahh it's so good I can't dissect it all here. But do also consider Maedhros begging Fingon to kill him, and how he finally got his wish, centuries later! That terrible fall from grace is Maedhros' story. I think having Maglor also die by suicide actually diminishes Maedhros' tragedy, with the rather perverse outcome that two deaths end up being less sad than one.

Unresolved endings are good. This is a rather more personal one, tbh - but I love those last messy loose ends, and Maglor's survival is a quintessential one. Don't the great tales never end? There is, of course, so much excellent fanfic potential in Maglor still wandering Middle-Earth into the Second and Third Ages. Here's a legend from the Elder Days, and you can have him stroll into Rivendell if you want! So much more satisfying than neatly wrapping the story up and tying a bow on top.

As far as I can tell, Tolkien's own reasons for having Maglor die instead were that he wanted Galadriel to be the last surviving leader of the rebellion of the Noldor; I've also seen it argued that Maglor needs to die so that Celebrimbor can be the last surviving Fëanorian. To be honest, I don't think Maglor's survival does much damage to either of these arcs. He's effectively a non-entity after the First Age; the text specifies that he "came never back among the people of the Elves". So you can definitely prefer a version of canon where Maglor lives without losing all those Very Important Feelings about Celebrimbor!

There are, of course, myriad self-indulgent reasons why you might also prefer to think Maglor doesn't die. Maybe you just like him and it would be too sad if he dies; maybe you ship him very specifically with someone born in the Second Age; maybe you just want Elrond to have one thing left after everyone he's lost. I didn't include these in the above list because that was attempting to focus more on literary reasons why Maglor's survival makes for a better story, but they are all so valid and I agree with all of them! But hopefully Points 1-4 can be emphatically whipped out the next time someone implies that the fandom is clinging to Maglor's survival for solely sentimental reasons. There are good, solid grounds for wanting Maglor to live, we promise! It actually improves the story!

you're just jealous our blorbo survives and yours doesn't—

#silmarillion #meta #my meta #maglor #maedhros #the line of miriel #chris actually got some things right guys #this is one of them #cw suicide

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matan4il · 1 year

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Breaking the Tragedy

Kinnporsche vs Brokeback Mountain meta

In honor of me finding out that Apo once tweeted the above poster of Brokeback Mountain with his and Mile’s pics photoshopped in, that Mile’s favorite LGBTQ movie is BBM and that for their trip to Seoul, they dressed in coordinated outfits reminiscent of BBM’s protagonists... I have lost yet another piece of my sanity and wrote some meta about KPTS vs BBM.

Brokeback Mountain the short story: America’s Greek Tragedy

I cannot do BBM justice if I don’t start by talking about the original short story that the movie is based on. I read it and it absolutely broke my heart. You think the movie is sad? It’s practically a joyous celebration in comparison with the source material.

Because what Annie Proulx set out to write with her short story was an American version of a Greek tragedy. Let me explain how is a Greek tragedy, as a genre, different to tragedies in general. A tragedy is a story where our protagonist experiences an incredibly sad ending. A Greek tragedy is a story where our protagonist has a choice to make, but no matter what he chooses, he will experience an incredibly sad ending. In other words, in this genre, the real tragedy isn’t just that the ending is sad, it’s that there is no way for the ending to be anything other than sad. The impossibility of avoiding a devastating fate, THAT is the true tragedy of life.

Often this means that in Greek tragedies, the protagonist will monologue about the choice that they have, explaining to the audience why, no matter what they choose, the ending would be dire for them. The classic example is Antigone. Her brothers rebelled against her city, which is ruled by her tyrant uncle, and they were killed. The uncle, as punishment for their betrayal, decrees that his nephews would not be buried (condemning their souls eternally) and that anyone giving their bodies a proper burial will be executed. Antigone is in torment. On the one hand, human laws make it impossible for her to bury her brothers. If she does, she will be killed herself. She’s young, she’s in love, she’s about to marry her beloved, she has so much in life to look forward to. On the other hand, divine laws decree that as a sister, she must bring the bodies to burial and give their souls eternal rest, it would be a sin against her family and the gods if she doesn’t. So whatever she chooses, she’s doomed.

In her short story, Annie Proulx sets out to demonstrate the Greek tragedy that is the fate of gay people in the society she’s describing in her book of short stories, Close Range: Wyoming Stories. It’s a hyper-masculine, homophobic society in which non-heterosexual people have no right to exist. What Proulx tries to show is that queer people are damned no matter what choice they make in such a society, whether they pursue their love or stay deeply closeted. She will not have a protagonist who monologues about the impossibility of this choice, but she can have two characters, one choosing the former option, the other choosing the latter, and show the miserable ending that both meet.

That’s who Jack and Ennis are in her short story. Jack is the guy who simply can’t remain closeted. He doesn’t come out in the modern sense of the word, but he finds he can’t stand being fully closeted, because he’s in love with Ennis. The short story makes it clear that it’s not just about attraction (an attraction not seemingly based on looks. Proulx gives a less than flattering physical description of them) and sex (though their sex is canonically damn good). What they offer each other is a mutual understanding and therefore comfort that they don’t get from anyone else in their life, not even their own families. That’s what keeps them tethered to each other, that’s what keeps them hooked even when settling with women would make everything so much easier. They do try that. But Jack is SO in love with Ennis that he’s just too damn miserable in his marriage. Jack’s wife simply can’t give him what Ennis can, and that means there is this emotional void that he can’t live with and she can’t fill. He tries to get more of Ennis, Jack has this dream that he at first keeps to himself but eventually has to share about the kind of life they might lead together, one where they wouldn’t declare who they are to anyone, but they’d live together, so they’d get to share the sorrows and joys of every single day with each other. They’d get to enjoy the warmth and love that comes with mutual understanding and comfort on a daily basis.

Ennis can’t accept this dream. He knows what happens to men who dare live like that, his father made sure his kids would see with their own eyes how a man like that was murdered. So Ennis knows how society will punish them and that they can’t lead a life that’s even semi-open about who they are to each other. He doesn’t share the dream and he chooses to settle for the few times they can get away from the heteronormative lies they’re living.

In an attempt to resist the draw he constantly feels back to Ennis, Jack turns to sex with other men. It’s still not what he longs for, but it’s better than his marriage, because at least having sex with these men is one step closer physically to what he misses when he can’t be with Ennis. Eventually, he settles into an affair with another man who would come and live with him. Jack takes what he can get, even though it’s not what he really wants. Ennis is still the love of his life, the man whose shirt Jack keeps in his closet to the end, entangled with his own, mingled dry blood and all, Ennis is the reason why Jack wanted his ashes scattered on Brokeback Mountain. Between the two impossible choices Annie Proulx lays out, Jack chooses the closest thing he can have to his dream of living his life openly with the love of his life.

Ennis finds out that Jack was murdered for this. And at this point, it seems like out of the two, Ennis had made the smarter choice, the one of hiding who he is as much as possible. He’s still alive, he seemingly didn’t pay the price homophobia demands. Except that’s not true. Proulx then goes on to show us the real tragedy of a society that so fully embraces this type of hatred. It’s that EVERY queer person pays a price, no matter what choice they make, even if that price is invisible to us. Ennis is alive, but upon learning that Jack has been murdered, his heart dies. He becomes a ghost. All he is from this point on is a shadow of longing for Jack, hanging their two intertwined shirts in Ennis’ trailer, waking up every morning from dreams about Jack, wanting something that can never again be. There are no happy endings, there are no good choices for queer people where homophobia prevails.

Brokeback Mountain the movie: a softer lens

The movie tones that down. For the most part it follows the original short story with only a few elaborations that IMO don’t change the meaning of the source material by much. Except for the ending. That’s when Ennis’ daughter comes to talk to him, and they have a kind of reconciliation. The movie lets us understand he’s going to be there for her despite not being there before. Ennis also puts some roots down when he installs a mailbox, signaling both finding a place he’ll be connected to again (whereas the Ennis at the end of the short story is still very much adrift, not knowing what tomorrow will bring, not even where he’ll stay) and implying he’ll once again have someone writing to him. This doesn’t exist in the short story. By the end of the story, Ennis’ oldest daughter is already married, they have no special conversation about her wedding, and the only reason why she’s mentioned is that he might have to crash with her for a while if he can’t find any other solution in between jobs. Jack was the love of Ennis’ life, he’s gone, nothing will bring him back, nothing will give them the life they should have had together. There is no comfort, there is no consolation prize in Proulx’s tale. You can’t fix a Greek tragedy. You just gotta stand it.

So the movie is different. It’s not an inevitable tragedy that cannot be escaped and cannot be healed. The film ends instead with an offering that every life (even one in which everything that was ever important to you seems lost and unfixable) can hold some solace. Lost the love of your life? Experiencing immeasurable grief without even having the possibility to talk about it to anyone? You can still be there for your daughter’s wedding. You can still do one thing right. Does that fix it all? No. BBM the movie does recount a tragedy. It does follow a powerful love story and its destruction. But the film isn’t a Greek tragedy, either. You might have lost almost everything because of homophobia, the movie says, but you can have something.

At the same time, something both versions have in common is the title (obviously) which refers to the mountain where Jack and Ennis fell in love, the place that broke their lives and turned them into tragedies. This mountain becomes an image in their minds, a symbol of that moment in time when they were young, in love, happy and had the illusion that they always could be. Both versions tell the story of an all-encompassing love and the devastating effect of losing it due to homophobia, even if the film’s criticism is somewhat softened by the more hopeful ending.

Kinnporsche the Series: breaking the tragedy

On the most basic level, KPTS is easily comparable to BBM because they’re both set in a tough, hyper-masculine, demanding and merciless world. One might argue that Kinn and Porsche are in an even worse version of that than Jack and Ennis, because the mafia world is also a violent one by its very nature, whereas BBM tells the story of a society that is supposed to be civilized, though in reality its violence lies under the surface. The threat of it is very real for gay people, as our protagonists both learn firsthand, but that’s because homophobia provides a small break in the surface where violence can erupt with society choosing to turn a blind eye to it.

But against expectations, Kinn and Porsche exist in a hyper-masculine world that does not fall into the pit of homophobia. It’s not that homophobia doesn’t exist in their world at all. We do know that somewhere out there, people are homophobic in the society that the characters of KPTS live in. The show doesn’t deal too much with it, because our protagonists are simply spared any encounters with this homophobia, at least on screen.

How do we know that it does exist in their society? There are small hints, like Porsche being told in ep 108 that “Love is love” (first stated by Jom, then repeated by Yok). We all know this to be an anti-homophobia statement, and there is no need for it in this world had it been free of that kinda hate. But the matter is most explicitly brought up after Porsche discovers Kinn is gay. It turns out, Porsche is shocked not because of this revelation, but because Big sent him into Kinn’s bedroom, despite knowing about the sexy times happening there. But then Porsche realizes Big expected him to have a homophobic reaction, and so he goes off about that. This moment tells us Porsche himself isn’t homophobic, but he is aware of the existence of such attitudes.

This scene also points to the existence of homophobia in this world by hinting Porsche’s guess regarding Big is correct. After all, Porsche was bragging about having gone to the sauna together with Kinn, and that he would invite Big next time, implying there’s been a change in who is now the favorite bodyguard. Big, who is secretly in love with Kinn, was obviously jealous and wanted to do something that would destroy this newfound closeness. Big sent Porsche into that bedroom to witness Kinn’s gay sexcapades, expecting that the presumed heterosexual Porsche would react in a homophobic manner and would wanna get as far away as possible from their gay boss. In fact, Big lurks outside Kinn’s bedroom, and he’s completely unsurprised to see Porsche fleeing and shocked. Big’s confusion only starts when Porsche explains the actual source of his distress. Big’s bafflement indicates to us that homophobia was, in fact, the reaction that he was counting on.

Last thing about this scene which tells us that homophobia does exist somewhere in the background of KPTS’ world is Kinn’s own reaction. We discover that he was close by and heard the entire exchange between Porsche and Big. If homophobia was not an issue, then Porsche revealing himself to be free of it wouldn’t have mattered to Kinn so much. But instead, we witness this big grin blooming on his face, as he stands there, happy and literally illuminated. We never hear whether Kinn himself had ever suffered homophobia. As a mafia prince, he might have been spared its repercussions. But he’s aware of it enough that he must have known there’s a chance Porsche, who had up until then been straight and assumed others around him to be as well, would be homophobic. That’s what Kinn’s smile tells us, it’s his joy and relief that this guy he’s started having feelings for does not harbor that prejudice. And that whole bit doesn’t work, that smile isn’t anywhere near as meaningful, that scene doesn’t require the metaphor of illumination, unless homophobia does exist in KPTS’ world.

(as a side note, since I brought up Porsche’s sexuality, I’ll mention that in both stories we have guys who are presumed straight by their environment, by the narrative and even by themselves, and who discover their attraction to another man. In neither story do we get clear answers and definitions for how they identify, for example as gay or bisexual, in any modern sense. In Jack and Ennis’ case, claiming their identity by defining it would simply be too dangerous due to the homophobia around, not to mention the bits of it that they have internalized. When it comes to Porsche, there’s no need for labels, because those simply don’t matter to him. “Love is love,” he’s in love with Kinn, and that’s all Porsche needs to know the second that he accepts these feelings. He is unsure at first over never having dated a guy before, but when he talks to Yok about it in 108, he sounds more confused over not knowing how to date than about the fact that he’s looking to romance another guy)

KPTS offers us a hyper-masculine setting that co-exists with homophobia, but is mostly untouched by it. Through all the challenges KPTS’ protagonists have to face, none are about being attracted to another man. If BBM tells us how homophobia destroys people, KPTS presents a picture of how they can thrive in its absence. Because while the finale isn’t complete (as I indicated in my KPTS s2 meta), this show’s ending is still a tale of how love between two men saves the day.

Which brings me to another point. I think the biggest resemblance between KPTS and BBM comes when we consider the tagline for the movie. “Love is a force of nature,” the film’s poster reads, as Jack and Ennis’ portraits take up most of its space, seemingly bigger than the mountain their love was born on. BBM at the end of the day might be about the tragedy of homophobia, but it also affirms the undeniable power of love, so overwhelming that nothing can truly stop it. After all, not even what he experienced as the ultimate rejection could make Jack stop loving Ennis, and death itself couldn’t make Ennis stop loving Jack.

We see something so similar with Kinn and Porsche’s story as well. When they meet, they’re both men who aren’t looking for love or happiness. They’re both settling for just sex. One had been betrayed by a former lover so badly that he doesn’t believe in love anymore, the other has never even given love a chance because he’s too dedicated to raising his kid brother, leaving himself emotionally unavailable for a relationship. But when they meet each other? That’s a whirlwind that throws their lives into disarray, opens them up to love and to the possibility of loving someone who’s different than they expected (Porsche falling for a man, Kinn falling for someone who fights back, unlike the appeasing, docile men he’s been with before), and saves them from being destroyed by hurt even as they experience betrayals of all kinds.

And so unsurprisingly, these two epic love stories have many similarities. KPTS and BBM alike, perhaps precisely because of that hyper-masculine context they portray, give us protagonists whose first time acting on their mutual attraction involves alcohol being consumed by both men. For Kinnporsche, it’s their first kiss in 103, which follows partying up together at Yok’s bar. For Jack and Ennis, it’s the first time they have sex after they’ve drunk so much that Ennis can’t leave the camp for the night by riding away. Which inevitably leads to another similarity between these two couples, that this is a starter happening on a physical level, but it will lead both down a path of emotions realization.

Of course, emotions are complicated, especially for men who aren’t that great at communicating (which tends to be almost all of them when we’re talking about guys who exist in hyper-masculine settings). Jack and Ennis, when they have to part ways and they don’t know how to express the pain of that, they end up throwing punches at each other on their last day on Brokeback Mountain. Similarly, Kinn and Porsche, when they care about each other so much, but the possibility of Vegas coming between them arises, they end up turning to a shove, a slap and some insults, hurting each other because they themselves are in pain. But since this is also just a symptom of how much they care about each other, then eventually, in both cases, it is the depth of their feelings for each other that helps them to overcome their trouble in communication. They return to and help heal each other.

Then, there’s also that understanding and comfort these men offer each other. In BBM, the peak of this is represented in a moment when Ennis pulls an exhausted Jack to him and repeats words he had heard as a kid from his mom. This is the softness and care that drives them out into the wilderness several times a year, no matter what else is happening in their lives, and into each other’s arms. Despite all the hurt Ennis caused Jack on their last day together on Brokeback Mountain and on every occasion when Ennis rejects Jack’s dream of living together, in spite of all other measures Jack turns to in order to deal with the hurt, he never stops seeing Ennis, untangles their shirts or changes his will. On Ennis’ part, even when Alma tells him she knows his secret, even when he realizes his life could be in danger because he and Jack were not as invisible as he thought they were despite their precautions, Ennis doesn’t stop seeing Jack either. They are bonded together. And that’s what we see with Kinn and Porsche, too. No matter what surprises are thrown at them, no matter what betrayals, no matter how reality is twisted around them to make them doubt their own minds, they don’t stop trusting each other. They keep choosing each other throughout the show and especially during the finale. And their trust and understanding is also built on tender moments, similar to the one Jack and Ennis shared, such as when Porsche is taking care of Kinn’s hair, reminiscent of how Kinn says his mother used to do the same for him when he was a kid.

Lastly, these great love affairs aren’t just a bond of compulsion, where they have to return to each other. They’re also a bond of choice, a commitment that they want to make, even if it’s not one that society is ready to recognize. “Jack, I swear,” says Ennis to a pair of shirts he has just hung in his trailer next to a postcard of Brokeback Mountain, two shirts that Jack joined together and Ennis would never put asunder. A symbolic wedding vow. Their own little ceremony that they end up sharing by virtue of Ennis continuing what Jack had started even after he isn’t there anymore. This symbolic commitment is one we also see with KPTS in ep 114, first when we know Kinn is the one who has put a ring on Porsche’s finger (one that matches his own and marks them as partners who lead their extended mafia family together), and second when they exchange their own vows on the boat. It’s the same one where Kinn demanded Porsche’s life as his bodyguard back in ep 101 and was refused, but this time Porsche is committing his whole life to Kinn and is being promised in return that he’d be treasured.

Kinn and Porsche broke the inevitably tragic nature of the BBM world. At the end of it all, it’s not only the relative absence of homophobia that makes the difference. That detail is crucial! Their story would have been completely different if they would have had to cope with what Jack and Ennis did. But another element that makes a difference is the trust in each other that Kinn and Porsche manage to build. I’ve talked about the importance of that in my previous Kinnporsche meta posts (about the sex scene in 107, as well as KPTS s2 meta) and how we can tell that they would have eventually beaten any adversary and all hardships thanks to that. It’s something that Jack and Ennis, as much as they loved each other, didn’t manage to get to. They never learn to trust each other enough to communicate properly. Ennis is afraid of Jack’s wrath when he has to cancel one of their planned meetings, so he keeps it a secret until the very end of their current tryst. Jack knows better than to share with Ennis what he does with other men in order to get over the emotional loneliness he experiences whenever they part. Maybe in a less homophobic society, they would get to where they stop disappointing each other and could have faith in one another.

So that trust that Kinn and Porsche put in each other? That’s actually a huge thing. Because in a sense, Kinn and Porsche’s backgrounds as they unfold at the end of KPTS unveil they easily could have ended up as a tragedy as well. Their story is that of two young men who are caught in a war started before they were even born by Kinn’s cruel grandfather who we never even see on screen. This head of the family is cold and manipulative, turning brother against his own brother and shaping both his sons into being like him. He’s also responsible for violent acts, one of which brings Porsche’s mom as a young girl into the lives of his sons, setting off a whole chain of events that will end with the bloody war between the two mafia families that we witness in the finale. This is precisely the type of background that in Greek mythology curses a whole family and dooms all of its members, even the ones born generations later. In fact, it’s those younger generations who become the very essence of Greek tragedy. They are fated to meet a terrible end no matter what they choose to do, despite them not being responsible for any of the atrocities that curse their family, and their fate is set before they were even conceived.

Kinn and Porsche could have easily become these tragic figures as well. But KPTS breaks the cycle of tragedy through the bond its protagonists created. Where the family of Kinn and Porsche is torn apart by hate and envy, they change the course of their fate by finding love together, as well as a desire to support and make each other happy. And where Jack and Ennis failed to trust each other, Kinn and Porsche manage to build that foundation, and make it a stable one. That’s powerful enough that when the events of the past start surfacing, whether more recent (Vegas and Tawan) or less (Korn and Gun, Porsche’s parents), threatening to tear our lovers’ faith in themselves and the other one apart, they manage to hold on, trust and choose each other still. Which leads us to that last scene on the boat, the one where they commit themselves to one another, sealed by them physically holding each other, safe in the knowledge that they’re truly and completely in love, that they would die for each other, and that, thankfully, now they get to do something better. They get to do what Jack and Ennis could only dream of. They get to live the rest of their lives with each other.

~ * ~

more: (pool sex mini meta) (all my KPTS meta on AO3)

~ * ~

As a bonus, here’s Brokeback Mountain’s theme, and Jeff Satur’s Why Don’t You Stay. They’re not similar, but WDYS’ opening always reminded me a little of bits of the BBM theme.

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#mkp #mile phakphum #mile phakphum romsaithong #apo nattawin #apo nattawin wattanagitiphat #kinnporsche #kinnporsche meta #kpts #kinnporsche the series #kinn x porsche #kinn theerapanyakul #porsche pachara #mileapo #kpts meta

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judgementdaysunshine · 9 months

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Chapter 22

One year anniversary

You feel anxiety overflowing as the plane lands and you walk in the airport, you feel tears brim in your eyes when you see the familiar trees and view of the sky that the three of you hadn't seen in so long. Everyone who was in the tsunami was returning to the island for the first year anniversary of what happened along with family members of those who didn't survive, you all shakily walk around as you see rebuilt houses, the roads cleaned of any debris, and the market place full of people like it was when you were there a year before, tears slowly flow as you see everything and find the house you and Dom had stayed in bringing back every memory you had tried hard not to overtake your mind as dom squeezes your hand while he holds Margo's with the other and you carry Callie with your other hand, you all slowly walk around the whole island, finding and showing each other the spots you were at when the two of you were separated and tearfully showing margo where you had found her family as you hold her in your arms until you all slowly made your way completely around. You all see everyone at the beach together, you walk down smiling tearfully when you see Ajani with his family followed by the rest of your friends with their families as well who thank you both for risking your lives to save their loved one making you both cry more and you become a part of their families even more than you all already were, you meet others who survived the tsunami and loved ones of those who didn't make it giving your truest and sincerest apologies for their loss before everyone slowly stands in front of the water to tell their own stories of how they survived, you cry as all your friends go up and tell their own stories before and after what changed all your lives forever, you hug each of them tightly after and when dom goes up carrying margo on his hip you knew you would be a mess. "After I fell from the roof, I managed to grab and hold on to a tree and I heard whimpers above me and when I looked up it was her hugging the tree as hard as she could until I got up and she just jumped in my arms and held onto me" you shake as quiet sobs escape you as he continues speaking and margo holds his hand as she speaks, saying how her mom Amelia had climbed while carrying her and put her in the three before she fell back in the water and got swept off leaving her in the tree alone until dom came and stayed by her side after, you hug them tightly before going up with callie in your arms, you slowly sob as your story goes on looking down at callie and kissing her forehead "In that moment when I grabbed the street light.. I thought my life was over, I thought I lost the man I loved and I would be alone...but then each of the wonderful friends I met during this tragedy came into my life and helped me, I didn't believe that my husband and the sweet little girl we met was alive until I saw all my friends in the hall and I knew I wasn't dreaming, so much has changed for me since then...I married the man I knew I couldn't live without and am very deeply in love with, we adopted the little girl who lost her family and needed us, and we have another little girl that we never expected to have in our life but we know we can't live without". You smile as more tears flow down your face "This past year has not just changed a lot including myself and my life, it changed how much I love the people in my life, how I cherish everything I have, how I always say I love to everyone I care for, how harder and tighter I hug them, and how I see the world" everyone cheers after you finish sharing a loving kiss with dom and a tight hug with margo while dom holds callie to him with tears of their own flowing down their faces as all your friends hug you, you all take pictures and walk down the beach side by side as you each heal and slowly move on from an event that changed all your lives and intertwined everyone together for eternity but you all were going to make sure that the aftermath would be the beautiful and unforgettable part as you all became and from that point on family.

#wwe x reader #dominik mysterio #wwe #there's no world without you #dominik mysterio x reader

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stmaryslibraryios · 2 months

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The Trouble with Goats and Sheep by Joanna Cannon

Read by u3a Book group 30/1/24

Not everyone enjoyed this book. One member said she thought it was quite ‘unmemorable’!

It was quite a slow start but as I read on, I was reminded of ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ by Harper Lee and the similarity between the characters of Boo Radley (To KAM) and Walter Bishop. Boo was a recluse and considered anti-social by the town of Maycomb. Without any evidence he was blamed for anything bad that happened. Likewise, Walter Bishop was seen as a dangerous recluse by the neighbourhood on The Avenue. Both Boo and Walter genuinely loved the company of children but sadly this was construed as evil by their neighbours.

The story begins in the blistering hot summer of 1976 when much of the dialogue between the neighbours of The Avenue takes place outside, in front gardens and along the road.

It is narrated by 10 year old Grace who, like the rest of the neighbourhood, is worried about the disappearance of Margaret Creasy. With her best friend, Tilly, they believe that if they find God, they will find Mrs Creasy. They decide to start their search by visiting each neighbour in turn and so we learn about their private lives, their fears and anxieties and the secrets they keep.

The neighbourhood is haunted by the events of winter 1967 so the story constantly switches between the two decades. There was a fire, a tragedy and a baby disappeared but its identity is not revealed until near the end of the book when other secrets come to light.

Grace and Tillygo to a funeral because, ‘’No-one else might go. God will be there. We might uncover some clues.’’ Speaking to the Vicar afterwards, he tells them, ‘’God will separate the people, one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. Those on the left will go to eternal punishment and only those on the right to eternal life.’’ Tilly, a particularly bright child asks, ‘’How does God know which people are goats & which people are sheep? Grace answers: ‘’I think that’s the trouble. It’s not always that easy to tell the difference.’’

The last visit by Grace & Tilly is to Walter Bishop at No. 11. They say they are looking for God and Mrs Creasy. Walter says he knew Mrs C very well and was sure she would have a lot to say when she returned. Walter admits he doesn’t mix very well but gets along very well with children. Grace says she wants God to keep everyone on the Avenue safe, like a shepherd. Tilly replies: ‘’Only the sheep, though. God doesn’t like goats. He sends them into the wilderness and doesn’t speak to them again.’’ William is puzzled. Goats? Grace explains. ‘’The world is full of sheep and goats and you have to try and work out which is which. The reader is left to decide which of these categories the neighbours fit into!

There is definitely pathos and humour throughout the story and reading it through the eyes of innocent young children, it could be described as their ‘coming of age’ moment. It is also a very salutary lesson in how prejudices spread and become embedded in small communities without any evidence of wrongdoing.

Review by Linda W

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justlemmeadoreyou · 8 months

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This is the collection of everything I've ever posted! It's not too good, but I hope you like it anyways!

Please don't interact with my writing if you're not above 18. You can interact with me, talk to me if you want, but you shouldn't be here if you're under 18.

I TAKE REQUESTS! There are a bunch of them in my inbox as well, and I try to write them as soon as I can! But please don't do that thing where you send the same thing to multiple writers--it is kinda off-putting for me.

I would love for anyone to like/comment on/reblog my posts. Everyu interaction is much, much appreciated, and hey, it helps us grow. It's free-supporting people who write here. So please, do what you can!

Please don't repost or translate any of my works anywhere. Any support in the form of likes and reblogs is truly, madly, deeply appreciated!

Here's my ko-fi for any tips you would like to give me!

Hope you have a great day! 🫶

updated on: 26/4

HOLIDAY FICS 2023 [8]

HEADCANONS

jealous!harry headcanons

boyfriend!harry headcanons

boyfriend!harry headcanons (another one 🙈)

dad's best friend!harry headcanons

mean!friends with benefits!harry headcanons

harry in love

grumpy!harry headcanons (mechanicrry universe)

husband!harry headcanons (explicit version)

《《 SERIES》》

Love at First Bite | (vampire!harry x reader) [DISCONTINUED]

In which you are a journalist desperate for a promotion, and Harry happens to be at the wrong place at the right time.

Part 1 - Bloodbound Desires

Part 2 - Burning Attraction

Secret Little Rendevous | (co-worker!harry x reader) [COMPLETE SERIES]

In which you are in a friends-with-benefits relationship than Harry, and it gets messier as you go forward. (Not your typical enemies to lovers fic)

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

Unfulfilled | (nerd!harry x reader)

in which you and harry are (friendly) academic rivals, and things change

part 1

A Chrome Connection | (grumpy!harry x sunshine!reader)

In which you are in desperate need of some car-fixing(and a place to live in) and you find Harry, a grumpy mechanic who supposedly dosen't care about people around him. But, will he melt when he finds a broken girl crying in her car on a cold Thanksgiving night?

a misfortune - part 1

windfall - part 2

melancholia - part 3

Hopelessly Devoted to You | (lawyer!harry x reader)

In which Y/n just wants to leave her abusive husband, and Harry is hopelessly devoted to her

Part-1 Part-2 Part-3 Part-4

《LONG ONE SHOTS》

An Eternal Embarce* (hades!harry x persephone!y/n)

in which persephone is back after 6 months, and the underworld blossoms once again. tensions arise too, but there is nothing that the king of underworld and queen of sspring can't handle together [Word Count: 7k]

Just the two of us -vday check in

Serendipity*

harry meets you at the most unexpected of places, and helps you like a knight in a wedding suit. it all starts at your best friend's wedding, where you find yourself in a predicament without an escort. as panic sets in, harry appears, sent by the groom's brother to fill in as your last-minute companion. from that moment, a serendipitous connection begins to bloom between you both. [Word Count: 5k]

Solace* (famous!harry x masseuse!y/n)

harry is in need of some unwinding and destressing, and he finds the perfect masseuse for that. they end up growing much closer than the relationship they began with, but it's never that easy, is it?

Rain-Kissed* (footballer!harry x nerd!y/n)

y/n and harry, former rivals turned reluctant partners, find unexpected chemistry. heated glances, playful banter ignite a spark. a near-tragedy makes y/n confront feelings, and...will they be reciprocated? ft. lots of mutual pining

《ONE SHOT/BLURBS》

SMUT

hot n' hard*

you and harry are at the pool for some fun, and you both rile each other up throughout. you both end up fucking at the edge of the pool and your exhibitionism kink has never been fueled so good.

thigh riding*

you playfully tease harry and, let's just say, it does not go well

don't stop

riding harry with your hands tied behind your back

breeding kink-blurb*

harry sees you around kids on a Christmas dinner, and he's obsessed with giving you his own

cupidity*

"don't make me take you home and punish you"

his* (jealousrry blowjob blurb)

harry is jealous, primal and dominant tonight, and you have never been so turned on

temporary fix*

in which a stranger at a bar becomes your good night (inspired by temporary fix by 1D (duh))

three knuckle deep*(aka fingering blurb)

in which you break harry's rule, and there are consequences

good girl*

straight up filth, sex w/ harry

euphoria*

soft dom!harry while his girl sucks on his cock

near the fireplace*

sex near the fireplace after a christmas dinner

a new year, a new beginning*

new years with harry's family, followed by some love making

FLUFF

drunk harry

in which harry is drunk, and you are trying to take care of the cutie pie

drunk y/n

in which you have a test the next day, and you find refuge in drinking and harry

addicted

about Harry’s addiction of kissing you

vexed

in which you are burnt out, and Harry comes to your rescue, in cute pajamas, with cookies and hot chocolate

tranquility

inspired by harry's pics of him swimming in the ocean

here for you

a fluffy period blurb, ft. pillow fights and kisses!

baby

boyfriend!h takes care of pregnant!reader, with a lot of fluffy cuteness. the baby kicks for the first time, and harry is overjoyed.

cuddles

ft. harry being cuddly and clingy

late-night serenades

you play guitar, but harry dosen’t know that. one night, you can't sleep, and harry's guitar looks quite tempting

breakfast in bed

in which harry wants to bring you breakfast in bed, but you have woken up. thankfully, he is cute and you're smitten

hold on to me

(trumpet player!harry x clarinet player!reader) you're both off to college after a while, and it's your last time playing together. feelings are comnfessed, and promises are made.

a christmas with harry

your first christmas with harry at his home, surrounded by his family and friends

dance with me

in which you and harry are at a friend's wedding, and you really don't know how to dance

thanksgiving

coming from a place where thanksgiving isn't celebrated, harry is more than happy to show you

ANGST

trepidation

in which you are too busy for the relationship, and he feels you slipping away.

insecure * requisite(part 2)*(SMUT)

in which harry feels insecure, because you want to keep your relationship a secret. ft: fluff, angst, dirty talk

waiting * for you(part 2)

a 6 month anniversary date turns into broken promises and doubts over your love

disconnected*

first time sex with harry, which leads to misunderstandings, miscommunication and insecurities

requests are open!!!

(*-> smut)

blurb night concepts

21/4

divider and header by @/saradika

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carolap53 · 2 years

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A Faith Without Fruit is a Futile Faith

Someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! —JAMES 2:18–19

A faith that does not produce fruit is not only false; it is also futile.

In a creative dialogue with an imaginary person, James continued addressing the matter of those who profess a good game but whose faith, in the end, is merely talk.

James engaged his readers with this challenge: “Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.” This two-letter, one-syllable word by translates a Greek preposition that is best understood as “out of.” James was saying that our works emerge “out of” our true faith in Christ. Paul actually echoed this very point, saying, “By grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works” (Ephesians 2:8–10). The apostle left no doubt that faith alone is the channel of God’s saving grace. Then, like James, Paul added a word about the proof of faith being our good works: we are “created in Christ Jesus for good works.” Both Paul and James talked about a faith that works. When we examine what each of them really said, we see that they arrived at the same point even though they came to it from different directions. Paul and James never contradicted each other; their teachings complemented each other.

When Paul spoke of works in his epistles, he was generally speaking of the works of the law, like observing the Sabbath and the like. However, when James spoke of works, he was referring to the fruit of genuine faith, to obedience issuing out of love. A clearer understanding of what each man is saying comes when we remember their audiences. If Paul were alive today, he would be addressing those who think they can be saved by keeping the law through their own human effort. That’s why Paul’s emphasis fell solidly on the side of grace. If James were around today, his argument would be directed to those who adhere to a cheap faith that tends to say, “I am saved and under grace, so I don’t have to even think about the law. I can live any way I desire.”

Even before our spiritual birth that came with trusting in Christ alone for our salvation, most of us believed the facts of Christ’s story. Few of us were bona fide atheists or agnostics. But the gospel did not alter our lives in any way. Many today believe that Jesus died on a cross in much the same way that we believe George Washington was the first president of the United States. They acknowledge that He existed as a real person; they simply do not trust their lives and eternal destiny to Him. The tragedy is that their false and futile faith does not really bother these people. Yet without true saving faith—and that comes only by God’s grace and through our faith, through our trust in Christ alone rather than any effort on our part—our faith is false and futile.

Content drawn from The James Code: 52 Scripture Principles for Putting Your Faith into Action.

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norahastuff · 2 years

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@sinnabonka be careful what you ask for - here’s my (semi-coherent) rant on the whole Kripke saying ‘we would have hated his ending so much more’ thing…

The fundamental difference is that Kripke was always writing a tragedy. At no point did he ever pretend otherwise. Love or hate his choices, that’s what his era had always been building towards. You can’t watch 5x22 and say any part of that came out of nowhere.

(Sidenote, that’s also one of the reasons why people claiming Sam and Dean are ‘soulmates’ completely baffles me. The whole point of 5x16 was that Sam and Dean were never fated to be together. One of them was supposed to kill the other and they were supposed to spend eternity sequestered in their separate heavens, never fully understanding each other’s perspectives on their roles in the other’s lives. Instead they chose to love and trust each other, heaven and fate be damned. I mean, hell, remember this conversation from 5x22?

SAM: You're gonna let me say yes?

DEAN: No. That's the thing. It's not on me to let you do anything. You're a grown – well, overgrown – man. If this is what you want, I'll back your play.

SAM: That's the last thing I thought you'd ever say.

DEAN: Might be. I'm not gonna lie to you, though. It goes against every fiber I got. I mean, truth is... You know, watching out for you... it's kinda been my job, you know? But more than that, it's... it's kinda who I am. You're not a kid anymore, Sam, and I can't keep treating you like one. Maybe I got to grow up a little, too. I don't know if we got a snowball's chance. But... But I do know that if anybody can do it... it's you.

That conversation is the pay off for a fundamental misunderstanding that’s existed between them almost their entire lives, a misunderstanding that 5x16 and their separate heavens are built around, and there Dean is just laying it all out there. Is there anything that even comes close to that level of poignancy in 15x20?)

Dabb era, on the other hand, had decidedly not been building to a tragedy. The whole focus was on “there’ll be peace when we are done” and “both Sam and Dean acknowledge that they need more than just each other and neither of them can be happy when it’s just the two of them alone.” S11 -s15 had been repeatedly hammering in those points, only to suddenly do a 180 on both of those core concepts in the finale. Instead they tried to clumsily cloak a tragedy as a happy ending. There is not one moment of nuance in 15x20. It’s all such heavy handed storytelling, whether we’re talking about the stupid montage or choosing to highlight Sam’s isolation by showing him make only one slice of toast instead of two because get it? He’s alone now? (I wonder if Kripke watched that scene? God, I so badly want to hear him talk about toastgate. Let’s be real, though, I highly doubt the guy’s watched any episode past s7. His idea for the finale comes as an ending to his era of the show aka s7 at the latest. Spn has tonally changed so much since then.)

Also, Cas had only been on the show for two seasons by the time 5x22 rolled around, and was only a regular in one of them and yet he still played a prominent (and iconic - see: “Hey, assbutt!”) role in Swan Song and had a sensical and thought provoking ending. Not to mention, Dean showed 100x more emotion over Cas in 5x22 compared to 15x20, and, at that point, Cas didn’t have anywhere close to the level of emotional importance he would eventually come to have to Dean. And yet 5x22 honoured his role in both the story and in Dean’s life, while 15x20 completely ignored it.

So, no, Kripke, I absolutely would not have hated your ending more than 15x20. Say what you want about the guy (and believe me, I know his era had its fair share of problems) but cohesive storytelling has never been one of his issues. I have no doubt that he would have written a tragedy, but a) he would have built to that and b) if 5x22 is any indication, at least everyone would have been in character and he would have acknowledged that it actually was a goddamn tragedy. Because I can watch Swan Song and come out seeing that it’s a tragic tale about love, brotherhood, defying fate aka turns out you can fight city hall and free will is not an illusion.

I have no fucking idea what I’m supposed to take away from 15x20. It didn’t even try to say anything. If it did, I certainly didn’t get it.

So, yeah, I’ll take a well-written coherent tragedy over whatever the hell 15x20 was any day.

#this is purely a rambling semi coherent rant #my spn thoughts #15x20 #negativity for ts

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buffysummerslay · 3 years

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my favourite type of ending to a tv show i love is the ending that feels right. i can find comfort in cheesy happiness, i can see beauty in tragedy, and i can find solace in bittersweetness. when i love a tv show, i trust the writers to tell me a story and i believe that the ending they choose is the ending they feel they need to tell.

lucifer isn't a fluffy show. lucifer is a tragic character. millennia of pain and self-hatred and loneliness have made that tragedy too real, even in the promise of hope for a better tomorrow. lucifer and chloe's love story is tragic, too. the way he always leaves and she always waits for him to come back is tragic. the way that the time moves differently around them and that the only way forever can last equally long for both of them is in either heaven or hell, is tragic. it is sometimes hard to remember this in the midst of humor and softness and moments so intimate that they feel more like a memory than fragments of fiction.

i never expected lucifer to have a soft, happy ending. for me, lucifer has been about learning and growing and doing better the next time around. about taking control over your actions and your life. about finding hope in places you would least expect to find it and about finding miracles in simple, everyday things. about self-worth and about loving and being loved in return exactly for who you are - the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. and, from my experience, this never comes easy. this never results in everything you have ever wanted coming true, it results in the ability to make better choices and finding peace in them because you believe in them. these types of messages are never about the end, they are always about the journey.

i believe that the ending that lucifer and choe got is a good ending for a story they have been telling us through six seasons. a story about acceptance and worth and love, and a story about sacrifice and choices and doing the hard thing because it feels right. i would never have accepted an ending where lucifer becomes mortal or where chloe becomes immortal because a charming devil and a human detective is who they are - i have watched these two people grow to accept and love each other for who they are and i would never want them to give that up simply because the story is ending. them living on earth and loving each other and raising their daughter together would have been fulfilling, however, chloe's mortality would remain an issue and i can't help but wonder if chloe got to spend a human lifetime with a man she loves, raising a family, would her idea of heaven still remain the same? if she had a home with him on earth, would her eternal home still be in hell with him? for me, the ending we got was chloe choosing lucifer one more, final time, choosing their partnership to last for eternity and that, imo, transcends any other type of promise or devotion that we know of, e.g. a marriage.

i don't regret the decision that they have made. do i wish that it happened differently? yes. i wish that there weren't as many illogicalities in the time travel/time loop storyline. i wish that they didn't feel the need to pull the parallel between lucifer and god. i wish that lucifer and chloe had more time to process their decision instead of making peace with it in ten minutes of screentime. i wish that they didn't focus that much on lucifer's calling as a reason why he can't be in their lives, but rather on rory asking him "dad, please, don't change who i am". because this is something i can get behind. for millennia, lucifer believed that he is who he is because this is the life his father chose for him. that his father abandoned him because he wasn't worthy of his time or love. so of course lucifer would never do this to his own daughter and that he would do anything in his power for her to get to choose who she becomes instead of him choosing that for her.

i didn't get attached to rory as a character and honestly it isn't because of the character, or the actress, or the writing. i was too focused on lucifer and chloe's pain and the idea of losing them to focus on rory's pain and anger. to me, she was only a million of different possibilities of who their daughter could be and a catalyst that drives the characters i love away from one another. but she was very real to chloe and lucifer. they saw her and touched her and hugged her and loved her. her, not the idea of her. she was the daughter chloe raised and both of them loved her for it. and even though lucifer wasn't there for her while she was growing up there is still so much of him in her and chloe saw to that - she never told her anything bad about her father no matter how much rory instested, she got her to nurture her love and talent for music, she got her to drive his car. if lucifer had stayed, him and chloe would spend years raising a different version of their daughter, completely erasing the daughter they have come to know and love all those years ago. and i don't think that's something either of them could forgive themselves for or live with. that day, they chose to be parents and they chose their daughter over themselves. it was their last act as partners on earth. lucifer never chose to leave chloe, he chose to keep a promise he made to his daughter knowing that one day, they will meet again.

is it unfair? is it painful? yes, it is, but life can be like that sometimes. however, another thing i got from this show is that there is always hope and that there is always a chance for a better tomorrow. hell wasn't hell for lucifer anymore, it wasn't a place of torment, and he wasn't unhappy. he made his choice, he believed in it and he stood by it, no matter how hard it was and, in the meantime, he helped people. chloe got to raise her daughters, help people, and live her life surrounded by people she loved and who loved her. and yeah they didn't get to raise their daughter together on earth and lucifer missed her childhood, but parenting doesn't stop at a certain point. chloe made sure that rory grows into a good human and lucifer can still make sure she grows into a good angel - she is a baby in celestial years and there is still so much he can teach her. and in the end, he was there for her when she needed him the most, when she was about to let her anger consume her and change her as a person. and because of who he is, because of who he came to be, lucifer listened to his daughter and accepted her feelings instead of invalidating them. he made sure that no matter what happens they can have a healthy relationship in the future, which already makes him so much different from his father who had eons to realise this and didn't.

this way, their story goes on forever. there are so many unlived moments that they can have together and so many memories they can still make. for lucifer, the most formative years of his whole existence were the five years he spent on earth surrounded by chloe and their friends. and that feeling didn't leave him simply because he wasn't with them anymore. he took everything he had learned on earth and applied it to hell and turned it into a home, waiting for her to come back to him.

and in the end, chloe chose him. again. one more time. years apart didn't diminish her love for him and her idea of home remained the same - him. lux, penthouse, heaven, hell - those are only places she was coming to in search of him. when there was a choice to be made, she chose to come back to him.

it is never too late to change. it is never too late to become the person you want to be. it is never too late to accept yourself for who you are and find worth in your existence. no one is unredeemable and everyone is worthy of love in someone's eyes. it is never too late to find love and to have a family. we all have a choice and even when those choices are hard, they are ours. and the idea that this, our life on earth, is only a part of the journey makes those choices a little bit easier. knowing that, after we die, there are still choices to be made and that there is an afterlife where we still get to live and love. this is what this show has been about for me and i believe that the ending cemented that.

it took devil several millennia to find the woman he loves. and she chose to love him back - she loved him so much that she turned hell into heaven to be with him.

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gliklofhameln · 3 years

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The Christianity that eventually emerged from the tradition of Paul, Augustine, Anselm and Aquinas had strong Judaic elements. It spoke of faith, hope, charity, righteousness, love, forgiveness, the dignity of the human person and the sanctity of life. It valued humility and compassion. It spoke of a God who loves his creatures. But it also contained strands that were undeniably Greek and in striking contrast with the way Jews read the Hebrew Bible. The following are some of them.

The first and most obvious is universality. Judaism is a principled and unusual combination of universality and particularity: the universality of God, and the particularity of the ways in which we relate to God. The God of Israel is the God of all humanity, but the religion of Israel is not, and is not intented to be, the religion of all humanity. You do not have to be part of the Sinai covenant, or even the covenant of Abraham, to reach heaven and achieve salvation.

Pauline Christianity rejected this. The upside of this is its inclusivity, expressed most famously in Paul’s striking statement, ‘There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female’ (Galatians 3:28). The downside is its denial of any other route of salvation. Extra ecclesiam non est salus: ‘Outside the Church there is no salvation.’ Universality is supremely characteristic of Greek thought in the classic age between the sixth and third pre-Christian centuries (though of course it was not applied in their religious understanding). Above all it is the legacy of Plato, who utterly devalued particulars in favour of the universal form of all things. For Plato truth is universal and eternal or it is not truth at all. In that sense, Paul and Plato are soulmates.

The second is dualism. To a far greater extent that Judaism, Christianity after Paul develops a series of dualisms, between body and soul, the physical and the spiritual, earth and heaven, this life and the next, with the emphasis on the second of each pair. The body, says Paul in Romans, is recalcitrant. ‘What I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do’ (Romans 7:15). There is nothing like this in Jewish literature. To be sure there is the ‘evil inclination’, but no suggestion that because of our embodied condition we are slaves to sin. The entire set of contrasts — soul as against body, the afterlife as against this life — is massively Greek with much debt to Plato and traces of Gnosticism. Paul’s occasionally ambivalent remarks about sexuality and marriage also have no counterpart in mainstream Judaism.

Third is the Pauline reinterpretation, one of the most radical in the history of religion, of the story of Adam and Eve and ‘the Fall’, and the consequent tragic view of the human condition. There is no such interpretation of the passage in the Hebrew Bible. According to Judaism we are not destined to sin. In the very next chapter, before Cain murders his brother Abel, God reminds him of his essential freedom: ‘Sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you can dominate it’ (Genesis 4:7). The collective forgiveness of humankind occurs, in the Hebrew Bible, after the Flood. ‘Never again,’ says God, ‘will I curse the ground because of humans, even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood’ (Genesis 8:21).

The human tragedy as described by Paul is more Greek than Jewish, and as for the idea of inherited sin, it is already negated in the sixth pre-Christian century by both Jeremiah and Ezekiel. Of course, in Christianity, tragedy is avoided by salvation: but salvation in this sense, the existential delivrance of the human person from the grip of sin, does not exist in Judaism. We choose. Sometimes we choose wrongly. We atone (in biblical times through the Temple service, post-biblically by repentance) and God forgives.

Fourth is the potential for the separation, unknown in Judaism, between ‘faith’ and ‘works’. In Judaism the two go hand in hand, Faithfulness is a matter of how you behave, not what your believe. Believing and doing are part of a single continuum, and both are a measure of a living relationship characterised by loyalty. In general one of the great differences between classical Greek and Hebraic thought thought is the immense emphasis in the latter on the will. We are, on a Jewish view, what we choose to be, and it is in the realm of choice, decision and action that the religious drama takes place. The Greek view emphasises far more the role of fate and the futility of fighting against it. Under its influence Christianity became more a religion of acceptance than protest — the characteristic stance of the Hebrew prophets.

The fifth and most profound difference lies in the way the two traditions understood the key phrase in which God identifies himself to Moses at the burning bush. ‘Who are you? asks Moses. God replies, cryptically, Ehyeh asher ehyeh. This was translated into Greek as ego eimi ho on, and into Latin as ego sum qui sum, meaning ‘I am who I am’ or ‘I am he who is’. The early and medieval Christian theologians all understood the phrase to be speaking about ontology, the metaphysical nature of God’s existence. It meant that he was ‘Being-itself, timeless, immutable, incorporeal, understood as the subsiding act of all existing’. Augustine defines God as that which does not change and cannot change. Aquinas, continuing the same tradition, reads the Exodus formula as saying that God is ‘true being, that is being that is eternal, immutable, simple, self-sufficient, and the cause and principal of every creature’.

But this is the God of Aristotle and the philosophers, not the God of Abraham and the prophets. Ehyeh asher ehyeh means none of these things. It means ‘I will be what, where, or how I will be’. The essential element of the phrase is the dimension omitted by all the early Christian translations, namely the future tense. God is defining himself as the Lord of history who is about to intervene in an unprecedented way to liberate a group of slaves from the mightiest empire of the ancient world and lead them on a journey towards liberty. Already in the eleventh century, reacting against the neo-Aristotelianisn that he saw creeping into Judaism, Judah Halevi made the point that God introduces himself at the beginning of the Ten Commandments not as God who created heaven and earth, but by saying, ‘I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.’

Far from being timeless and immutable, God in the Hebrew Bible is active, engaged, in constant dialogue with his people, calling, urging, warning, challenging and forgiving. When Malachi says in the name of God, ‘I the Lord do not change’ (Malachi 3:6), he is not speaking about his essence as pure being, the unmoved mover, but about his moral commitments. God keeps his promises even when his children break theirs. What does not change about God are the covenants he makes with Noah, Abraham and the Israelites at Sinai.

So remote is the God of pure being — the legacy of Plato and Aristotle, that the distance is bridged in Christianity by a figure that has no counterpart in Judaism, the Son of God, a person who is both human and divine. In Judaism we are all both human and divine, dust of the earth yet breathing God’s breath and bearing God’s image. These are profoundly different theologies.

— Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks zt”l, in The Great Partnership: God, Science and the Search for Meaning

#jumblr #judaism #rabbi lord jonathan sacks #christianity #myposts

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rivendellsstuff · 3 years

Text

𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ━━━ 𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍

𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 | ❝In despair, he condemns his desires. Regretted, he know the consequences would be eternal and all he wanted was you. Your fiery personality, bright lips and soft skin.❞

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2310;

Genre: friends to lovers;

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: Mentions of canon-typical violence. The first chapter is set before the events of the first season. Friends with benefits — so, it'll be eventual smut (like, a lot!)

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: English isn't my natives language, so if you spot a misspelled word or anything else, feel free to let me know.

━━━━ 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑

Some men's whish the glory, others crawl like snakes by power and there is those who live like rats in the system. However, there is a exception — and his names is Levi Ackerman. Emerged from the underground, by dust and blood, forged as a weapon at an early age and steeped in pride, he raised as humanity's strongest soldier. He carries a doctrine, imbedded in his bones: he serves to humanity, the balance and the freedom of mankind. If there is a threat, he is the man who can fight against it, ranging from cruel people to evil titans.

He was born in cruel times and did his best to survive in the Underground. He found a glory he wasn't looking for. Something many wish to through their lives, but which, for him, was irrelevant. They all bleed, they all are stuck on the Walls and share the same ended chapter: the death. The final outcome is not defined by possessions, achievements or privileges in life. The only difference was that could get death any easier and painless. Levi was not a hypocrite: he would rather a peaceful death, lying on his bed, instead of being eaten by a titan.

He rather — and is all what it is. It wasn't like if he had any choice. The Ackerman's family were designed to protect the people and to fight. They were cursed with a power. Some people could say it is a miracle in dark times. Others would argue that mans were corrupted, cruel and too ambitious to deal with that awakened power. Well, Levi knows, that no everyone were worthy to possess such ability — Kenny, that asshole, was one of them.

However, there was kind strange situation. An only exception, an affliction that hung over through the heart and maddened his mind: you.

Desire wasn't a word enough to define how he feels close to you, a fearless female warrior, who destroy each barrier he has built over the years, causing delirium with the thought of you hurt. Levi knew he would have taken a checkmate just by desiring you.

But when it all starts? He couldn't say with sure. Maybe, when he, Farlan and Isabel were recruited by the Survey Corps, and you were the only one who spoke to them without undriveable mock and trial. You, besides Erwin, didn't seem to care where they came from. As deeply loyal as you were to your comrades, you didn't depend on your interactions with them for take a direction — you were content to follow your own passions and desires without input from anyone else.

Maybe it started when he saw you in battle or an a argue with a member of Military Police Regiment. Fear is not in yours's vocabulary when you are on the battlefield or when you are speaking her mind to others.

As their partnership grew, he'd find some similarities between you, but also many differences.

You, just like him, has little patience for any form of prose or riddles when you are communicating with others. You speak bluntly and without pretense, and expects others to do the same, prefers to get to the point and doesn’t seek to romanticize your expectations or intentions. You also are focused on the present issues and what role you can play in protecting the people that you love, what can prevent you from seeing the future results of your present actions and, unlike him, does result in some impulsive and risky — yet brave— actions.

All these little things over the years, made him fall in love with you, and Levi had ways to say it without saying "I love you".

Like that night.

He wasn't hiding his disgust face when handed you a cup full of that steaming, black liquid; the simply smelling coffee could make your stomach turn, but still, he prepares a cup for you every night.

As the second in the command, you have spent several evenings together conducting the next advances of the squadron. So, there you are, sitting next to him, eyes focused on the paper, turning the pen between your fingers and... biting your lower lip.

Occasionally, almost instinctively Levi raises his eyes to you. Being so close of you was it's a unique feeling. The smell of your perfume as stunning, and his throat closes around the words he would like to say. The tension that has been brought in was too dangerous for someone like him.

Fucking woman, fucking lips. Fuck you!

''Is there a problem?'', you inquired making eye contact for the first time that night. He couldn't say if there was perversion when you wet your own lips, but Levi felt his muscles become tense and contracted when you made it.

Levi responded with a faint whimper before observed: ''You shouldn't be drinking so much coffee at this time. You look like shit when don't get sleep''.

Lie. Fucking hell, you're always beautiful, but no way he'd say what he thought.

You rolled your eyes. ''It's you who did'', you put forth.

''I wasn't in the mood to put up with a brat attitude from you.''

''Brat? You know that we have about the same age, don't you?'', your gaze traveled from the figure sat in front of you to the window, confused as to why you would be embarrassed about his presence. You took in a breath before adding: ''Anyway, don't want sleep.''

There was a pause for a few seconds. You and he eyed each other.

''Why?'', he asks, authoritative one.

You shrugged and shook your head firmly. ''It doesn't matter.''

''If it doesn't matter, why would I have asked that?''

"Cause you're snooper”, you smirked.

''I'm not a snooper, brat."

He felt his heart begin to quicken when you carried the pen to your lips and start biting.

"Yes, you are a horrible snooper old man, bossy and with an astonishing mania for cleanliness."

"Old? You know we have about the same age”; he repeats. His eyes drifted back to your face, noticing your gaze had shifted again to the woods beyond the window. "And you're avoiding the question", he softly says (at least as softy as he could be), interrupting your rampant thoughts. "Are you alright?"

Levi watches in silence as you'd shoulders slump.

"I can't sleep. My mind has the scary capability of being evil, although I always thought that one day it'd get better", you're voice was low and flat, quiet and a little sad as you spoke to Levi, who seemed to know what are you exactly referred to and only nodded at your words. "I feel guilty. All the time."

Even in the darkness the room held, your eyes find his greys one like the starlight's.

''Are you afraid of your dreams, too?'', you asked, never expecting the humanity strongest soldier to have any fears.

'Yes'', he said quietly.

You nodded with hesitation, his words repainting in your head as you struggled to forma a sentence to answered.

Levi was used to such sadness, he had month's — no, years — to griever over the deaths of his mother and friends. Death was not uncommon thing in his life. His childhood who should be carefree, playing in the sun, was like a living nightmare, learning to fight in the darkness of Underground. Later, when he left the place to join the Survey Corps, he accepted to live in that never ending tragedy that people had sadly grown used to. Death was more common in that job than anything else, and he knows how badly it fuck with his mind.

“I’m beginning to think we’re a lot alike… you and me. We’re both strange cast, who’ve learned to fight when we’re backed into a corner'', you began weakly.

''Well, we’re backed into a corner now. Two fucking insomniacs”, he shook his head, thinking about your words. He didn't seem to like the way your voice sounded sadder. You raised your eyes to him again as he slowly spoke: ''You're not alone''

You answered a tiny smile onto your lips. Levi felt his cheeks burn and opposite glanced to your empty coffee cup, thinking that he'll able to always tolerate your strange addiction.

A few second later you both went back to work, and Levi was left with words stuck, temptation planted in the mind and a sure thing for him: the insomniac nights would become better by you.

【 ━━ 】

Inside Wall Sheena, guests were arriving, among them five members of the Scout Regiment - consisting mostly of commanders - walked through the gates, exuding self-confidence, bitter to participate in that boring and stupid meeting.

Little lies, little social sacrifices to feed what kept the Scout Regiment going: funding.

It was not necessary to be an expert in politics to see beyond the traditional veil of those events, to perceive the intentions of certain parliamentarians, very sadistic. Knowing it was part of your job to relate to these kinds of people annoyed you.

For one minute, you saw out of the corner of your eyes, the first on your command. The man of grey eyes used a black suit that fits perfectly. Be present in an event with so many politics didn't seem to his liking. Was kind of hard for all of you play nice one with all this tension in the air.

You've never felt the feeling of fear and tension like that inside the Walls before.

''Stop frowning before you break your face''

'It would be so sad, and you would cry for being depriving of that beautiful face''

''Oh, fuck yourself'', he says, angrily.

''If you watch''

You smirched at his expression as he looks up to you, after seeing your face, he turns away.

''Watch your words, brat''

''Or what, old man? What will you do to me?''

He looks back up at you.

''I could break you habit of drinking coffee, put you to clean all the HQ or even to help Hange with the experiments. The three together seems good, by the way''

You roll your eyes.

''You're mean''

'You're annoying'', he replied. ''And you know, if you keep rolling your eyes one day their going to get stuck like that''

''Are you trying to be funny?''

His little grin showed up making you roll eyes into a smile. He was terribly bossy and annoying, but you like that about him.

You took the glass of wine to your lips and raised your eyes to hit his. Levi hovered over you, making you felt that flame into your heart once more. Your eyes tailed down to Levi's lips then back to his eyes. You could feel your heart beating recklessly.

Fucking grey eyes, fucking black suit. Fuck you!

You felt a thumb on your cheeks, making them burn.

''You look...'', he started whispered and slightly caress your cheeks. Your body started to get hot under his soft touch. ''... beautiful. You look beautiful''

You were speechless.

You liked the sudden ardor, of the dangerous attraction, of folly and frivolous with provocative sins. Liked and thought how the taste of his lips would be: the indomitable, the irresistible, the powerful and sin.

He slowly dragged his hand down to my thorax wrapping his hands around it. A soft gasp escaped of your lips.

''You know... If you want dance, it'll not rude to ask'', you try to say. ''The song is awful, but I'm not a demanding partner''

''Only if you don’t step on my foot''

His prepotency make you smile.

''Don’t be a bad partner and there will be no mistakes'', you retorted, making him raised one of the eyebrows. ''That's how a men should behave next to a woman''

He took you in his arms, abruptly, making the bodies collide with intensity. You gasped, very close to Levi's ears, who felt the hairs stand on the back of his neck. Leading you through music, in no second was the look averted, in a battle for unknown control.

You and Levi explored a unique experience.

He stares burned deep into your body. His touch on your skin made your body tingle.

Fuck, control yourself. Don't get turned on by him!

He didn't say anything, just left you hold into him. You could feel your body burning around him. What was he doing to you? It felt like a spell. The effect of sin, of desire. You should get rid of that, all you needed least were distractions in the workplace and ruin the friendship, trust and partnership that you two took so long to build.

However, both keep looking to each other longer than friends should. Longer than friends should...

He could saw you lost inside your mind. Slowly, he pulled down his fingers, lazily touching the skin of your exposed back by the dress. Levi's vision was blinded by the desire his image represented. The surroundings smelled wine and fruits, intoxicating his sense. The ears, doomed to hear the political bullshit. His tact could burn by touching you. His taste? It was dangerous, because wanted to discover the taste of your lips and body.

But not now, not here.

You are his friend — the only who was left. In despair, he condemns his desires. Regretted, he knew the consequences would be eternal and all he wanted was you. Your fiery personality, bright lips and soft skin.

To hell all of that. When you both got back, he'll fucked you, every way that he can thinking off. He wants to pound into you, slammed into you and give the best night that you ever have. He wants to kiss every inch of your skin.

''Good girl'', he whispers next to your ears. ''But I'll show you how true men should behave next to a woman when we get back''

#aot x reader #attack on titan imagine #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman imagine #levi x you #levi smut #levi ackerman series #attack on titan fanfiction

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translations-by-aiimee · 3 years

Text

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Chapter 16

Original Title: 二哈和他的白猫师尊

Genres: Drama, Romance, Tragedy, Xianxia, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 16 - This Venerable One is Stunned

This really couldn't be blamed on the beast-like Mo Ran. Anyone in such a claustrophobic space, trapped with someone he'd slept with countless times - regardless of whether the sex meant anything, whether it was out of revenge or out of love - smelling the familiar smell on the other person, he could never help the lurching feeling in his heart.

Besides, Mo Ran himself was a bastard.

Shi Mei was his white moonlight. He absolutely couldn't bear to touch it, and he doesn't want to destroy it.

He patronized Chu Wanning and only Chu Wanning. All of his darkness, bestial-lust, and bone-crushing rage could be vented with no fear of repercussion.

He crushed him, tore him up underneath him, forcing him to take part in all the tricks he would never try with Shi Mei.

In his previous life, every time he saw Chu Waning tilting his neck and moving his throat, he felt he was about to degenerate into a vicious beast that only knew how to drink blood. He wanted to bite the man's throat open, grind his teeth, suck out his blood, chew through his flesh and bones.

He didn't care about Chu Wanning. He could defile him as much as he wanted.

At the end of it all, his body had developed a habit. Every time he smelled the scent of Chu Wanning's body, his stomach would feel like it's on fire, his heart would itch, and he wanted to tie him down to a bed and fuck him senseless.

There was a moment of silence in the coffin and Mo Ran's racing heart could be heard.

He knows that Chu Wanning's face was very close. He could feel the other's breathing. If he bit it right now, Chu Wanning wouldn't be able to break free, but. . .

Better to forget it.

Mo Ran leaned back and distanced himself from Chu Wanning. It wasn't really easy considering there wasn't really much room in the coffin.

"I'm sorry, Shizun." Mo Ran snorted and pretended to be meek. "I didn't expect the coffin to - shake!"

As soon as he spoke, the coffin slanted again. Mo Ran rolled into Chu Wanning's arms again with a grunt.

Chu Wanning: ". . ."

Mo Ran retreated again, the coffin shook again, and the cycle continued several more times.

"Un-fucking-believable." Mo Ran leaned back again.

The golden boy and girl were probably walking on a slope, and the inside of the coffin wall was slippery. He didn't hold on for too long, Mo Ran helplessly rolled on top of Chu Wanning.

"Shizun. . ." He bit his lip, feeling aggravated.

This guy originally looked kind of cute as a young man. If he deliberately hid his wolf tail and act like a puppy, he could actually pretend to be similar.

Chu Wanning didn't say a word.

Mo Ran really didn't want to roll around again, so he simply gave up the struggle: "I didn't mean to."

Chu Wanning: ". . ."

Mo Ran whispered: "But the wound on my back still hurts so much. . ."

In the darkness, Chu Wanning seemed to sigh gently. The gongs and drums outside were a bit noisy and Mo Ran wasn't sure whether he had really heard it.

But the next moment, Mo Ran smelled a clearer fragrance of begonia flowers, and Chu Wanning's hand wrapped behind his back, blocking the gap that he might have crashed into.

However, it wasn't a hug. Chu Wanning's arms were empty, deliberately avoiding physical contact with Mo Ran. Only the clothes and Mo Ran were touching each other, but this posture was still somewhat intimate.

"Be careful, don't hit it again." The voice was heavy, like porcelain soaked in a stream, with a kind of ancient demure. If he listened to it without hatred in mind, it was actually very nice.

". . . Alright."

Suddenly no one spoke anymore.

At this point, Mo Ran was still a young teenager who wasn't as tall as an adult, so he leaned in Chu Wanning's arms, his forehead fitting underneath Chu Wanning's chin.

This feeling was both familiar and unfamiliar.

What was familiar was the person lying next to him.

What was unfamiliar was the position they were in.

Once upon a time, the past events all transpired in Wushan Hall where he was lying on Life-Death Peak. The Immortal Emperor, who had become a lonely man, held Chu Waning in his arms for dear life in the long, breathless darkness.

At that time, he was already higher than Chu Wanning, and his strength was greater than that of his shizun's. His arms were like iron bars of a cage, locking the little remaining warmth in his arms, like holding the last fire burning in the world.

He bowed his head and kissed Chu Wanning's long black hair, and then greedily attached himself to his face, burying deep into the neck of the other, biting and nibbling without pity.

"I hate you, Chu Wanning. I hate you so much."

There was some hoarseness in his voice.

"But you're all I have left."

A violent smash shattered Mo Ran's memories. The sound of gongs and drums suddenly stopped, and there was dead silence surrounding them.

"Shizun. . ."

Chu Wanning stretched out his hand. He touched his lips, and said solemnly: "Don't talk, we're here."

Sure enough, there was no sound of footsteps outside, and there was only dead silence.

Chu Wanning's fingertips ignited in a cluster of pale golden flames and stroked the wall of the coffin to make a narrow opening, just large enough for two people to see through.

Sure enough, they were carried to the outskirts of Caidie Town. The earth temple dedicated to the Master of Ceremonies Ghost was already densely packed with coffins. The fragrance of the butterfly powder in the air became even denser, floating into the coffin through the wood.

Mo Ran suddenly felt something was wrong: "Shizun, do you think that the scent here, as well as the scent in the illusion, seems to be a bit different from the smell in Young Master Chen's coffin?"

". . . What do you mean?"

Mo Ran was more sensitive to the smell. He said: "When we were on the north mountain, the moment the coffin opened, the smell that floated out was very good. Considering it was the butterfly fragrance incense, there was nothing to make me dislike it. But since entering the illusion, I always felt that the smell was similar, but there were some subtle differences. I couldn't figure out what was different, but now. . . I think I probably know."

Chu Wanning looked at him sideways: "You don't like the smell?"

Mo Ran stuck against the gap, still staring outside, and then said: "Yeah. I haven't liked the smell of incense since I was a child. The smell here, and in the illusion, isn't the hundred butterfly fragrance poweder at all, but a special high fragrance used by the people of Caidie Town to burn when worshiping the Master of Ceremonies Ghost. Look there—"

Chu Wanning followed his line of sight and looked at the clay incense burner in front of the earth temple. Sure enough, three arm-thick vertical incense sticks were burning, and they were passing a sweet smell into the wind.

The people in Caidie Town were good at making all kinds of powders from various flowers, so all the fragrances that are used to pray to the gods were made in their own town, and they don't buy them from other places. Since the flowers used are all planted in the outskirts of the town, the smell that turned out wasn't that different from something made by an amateur.

Chu Wanning pondered: "Could it be that the fragrance in the coffin of Young Master Chen had nothing to do with the smell in the illusionary realm?"

Before he could ponder the details of this new discovery, a dazzling red light from the earth temple interrupted his thoughts. The two people hiding in the coffin looked together and saw that the temple was shining brightly, reflecting its brilliant surroundings. There was a row of iron shelves on the side of the temple with red lotus lanterns for making wishes. Those lotus lanterns had originally been extinguished, but now they were all being lit up, one by one.

The boys and girls guarding all the coffins knelt down one after another, chanting: "The Master of Ceremonies has come down to earth to guide us wild ghosts and lonely souls to be free from eternal suffering, to meet a good man, to lie in the same coffin, and to be companions in the Underworld."

Through the sound of chanting, the Master of Ceremonies Ghost in the temple radiated golden immortal light. Then, she lowered her eyelids, slowly moved the corners of her mouth, and leapt off the offering platform.

Her movements were quite elegant and graceful, her appearance a million times more elegant

It's a pity that the body was made of mud and she was too heavy. The girl's house, with a bang, was smashed into a big hole in the ground.

Mo Ran: "Pfft."

Chu Wanning: ". . ."

The Master of Ceremonies Ghost also seemed dissatisfied with the placement of her feet. She stared at the big pit in the ground for a while before pacing out of the pit and straightening her clothes.

She looked like a woman wearing heavy makeup, dressed in red and green, quite cheerful. In the dark night, it turned its neck and came to the hundred people buried in coffins. The night breeze was full of the stench of corpses. She seemed to be in a better mood. She slowly opened her arms and let out a few giggles.

"If you believe in me and make offerings to me, you will be able to meet a good destiny and complete the lifelong event that you weren't able to complete during your life." The tender voice drifted in the night, and the ghosts kowtowed in excitement.

"Blessings of the Master of Ceremonies--"

"Please let the Master of Ceremonies bless this marriage--"

The pleadings were coming from all around her and the Master of Ceremonies seemed to be enjoying herself. She slowly moved among the rows of coffins, and her long nails scraped against the bright red vermilion lacquered coffin boards, making a sharp and ear-piercing sound.

Mo Ran was curious: "Shizun, I remember you said that demons, immortals, ghosts, gods, humans and the devil belong to the six realms, but this immortal doesn't like in heaven. How come she's with these ghosts in the underground instead?"

"Because it cares about ghost marriages, and her main food source is the offerings of the ghosts." Chu Wanning said. "Ghosts can greatly increase her power, otherwise she wouldn't be able to cultivate her immortal body in only a hundred years. With such benefits, she's happy to stay with her 'friends' in the underworld."

The Master of Ceremonies Ghost walked around the group of coffins and returned to the front. The empty and tender voice rang again: "Open a coffin and I'll bless the marriage. Starting from the left."

Following its order, the first coffin on the left slowly opened, and the golden boy and girl were greeted by the two corpses inside staggeringly crawled out, and the gorgeous flaming red dress made the face of the dead look pale and lifeless.

The married couple slowly approached the Master of Ceremonies Ghost and knelt down.

The Master of Ceremonies Ghost put her hand between them and said: "In the name of the master of ceremonies, I grant you this marriage after death. From now on, you will be husband and wife, man and woman together in joy."

Mo Ran rolled his eyes and muttered: "If you can't write a poem, don't do it. It should be a good marriage vow, so why does it sound so lewd?"

Chu Wanning said coldly: "You have a dirty mind."

Mo Ran shut up.

But it didn't take long for the Master of Ceremonies Ghost to personally prove that it wasn't Mo Ran who was dirty-minded, but the god in charge of the marriage who was the lewd one.

He saw that the married corpses seemed to have swallowed some kind of aphrodisiac. They were already two dead ghosts, but suddenly they began to tear each other’s clothes, feverishly kissing and embracing each other passionately. They were entangled so shamelessly in public.

Chu Wanning: ". . ."

Mo Ran: ". . ."

"In the name of the Master of Ceremonies, I give you the joys of heaven. If Yin and Yang can intermingle, what's the harm with life and death!"

The cry of the Master of Ceremonies Ghost became more shrill and much louder.

The movements of the two corpses became more and more exaggerated. After removing the clothes, the male corpse was actually full of passion, full of energy, and no different from a living person.

Mo Ran was stunned: ". . . Is this. . . fucking. . . okay???"

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#2ha novel #2ha translation #2ha #english translation #chinese bl #chinese novel #danmei novel #danmei #yaoi novel #yaoi #bl novel #chu wanning #mo ran #ranwan #the husky and his white cat shizun translation #the husky and his white cat shizun

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bbangsoonie · 3 years

Text

good for nothing

member: juyeon genre: angst (royal au) word count: 4,635 synopsis: despite being the first born and the kingdom’s princess, you lived your whole life in the shadow of the crown prince born to a concubine. in your plot for revenge, a fool in love comes along your path. warning(s): violence

kingdom masterlist

Princess Y/n. You were the first born of the king and queen, educated beyond societal standards for girls, and incredibly beautiful. Yet, you were disregarded and looked down on since the moment you were born. Your brother, who was born to a concubine, was the crown prince and received much greater respect. The reason? You were a girl. A good-for-nothing girl as your father called you on multiple occasions.

The king was ashamed to have his first born be a daughter. He also felt threatened by your rejection of the status quo. Because of this, he grabbed every opportunity to make you submit to him.

You were exceptionally smart but no one cared to notice. Your desire to learn was ignored and you were forced to embroider butterfly patterns instead. At a young age, you realized your place. You knew your designated fate was to be a political pawn meant to be married off at a beautiful age. To protect the royal family that never considered you as one of their own, you were to marry a complete stranger one day.

However, just because you realized your place didn’t mean you accepted it. You defied the rules at every chance you saw. You remained a headache for the king, but a small enough headache to avoid his wrath.

Unbeknownst to him, you were well versed with the dirty politics of the country. Ever since you were a little girl, you would eavesdrop into the ministers’ conversations and manipulate the eunuchs to take a peak at written grievances sent to the king. You knew about the starving peasants he ignored and the bribes he received. As you grew older, you became hungry for power. When it became apparent that the king was blocking any hope for you, you were determined to take as many people down with you. You refused to suffer alone.

The king always berated you for being greedy. Greedy for education. Greedy for acknowledgement. Greedy for a life that was more than just being a good wife. He reminded you again and again that you would never have a voice in official affairs.

Every time you left his chamber after another lecture, you made sure to humiliate the embarrassment the kingdom called the crown prince. You would outshine him one way or another. Whether it be pointing out his grammar mistakes in front of the scholars or exposing his secret palace escapes to the queen, you would dampen his mood for the day. It was the only thing that gave you a speck of joy.

There was also only one thing that gave you something to look forward to. For years, you had been conspiring against the royal family. You despised the royal family and its classist, sexist, and pretentious values. You planned on getting rid of it once and for all. The kingdom deserved a leader that would rule benevolently. Slowly but surely, you gained the loyalty of several ministers. Soon enough, you would be able to execute the meticulous coup d'état.

But until then, you had to continue to be nothing but the king’s puppet. Which included meeting your fiancé. You were introduced a week ago and wedding preparations were already in full swing.

The man you would be forced to wed, Lee Juyeon, was the first son of the Chief State Councillor. You didn’t like him the moment you saw him. He was a pretty face that grew up with his father’s full love and support. He was both elegant and masculine; he was the definition of perfect and you hated it. A person had to have flaws to be likeable.

For some crazy reason you couldn’t wrap your mind around, Juyeon was infatuated with you. He visited the palace every day just to have you decline his request for a meeting. He was persistent.

Unfortunately for you, he was also crafty. He figured out that announcing his arrival to the king was an effective way to see your face. The king was delighted to see the Chief State Councillor’s son head over heels for his daughter and thus, to your annoyance, daily meetings were arranged for you two.

“Tell me, Lord Lee, what about me is worthy of your obsession?” you asked.

You were sitting at one of the gardens within the palace walls. He had insisted on the location because of its romantic beauty.

“Then tell me, Your Highness, what about me is not to your liking?” he grinned.

“Do you wish to hear the answer of the princess or the answer of Y/n?” you raised a brow, making him laugh.

“You amuse me, Princess Y/n,” he turned his head to look at the pond.

You sighed, wondering how long you had until you could return to your residence. The man next to you was oblivious to your feelings as he rambled on about the dates he wanted to take you on. He caught your attention when he mentioned sneaking you out of the palace for half a day.

“You would really risk taking me outside of the palace?” you perked up.

He was excited to see you finally engaged in the conversation and nodded profusely. He promised to set up an elaborate plan for a smooth date. Grudgingly, you accepted his offer. Your wish to see the village overwhelmed your wish to avoid your soon-to-be consort.

The next day, a court lady secretly found you to notify you of his plans. To evade the eyes of palace maids, you were to escape through a path not commonly used. She helped you scale the wall and you froze when you saw Juyeon on the other side. You sat on top of the wall and he extended his hand for support. With a tight smile, you held his hand and jumped down.

He pulled the veil over your face to keep your identity hidden, blushing when his hand slightly brushed your cheek. He hopped onto the horse and gestured for you to do the same. Hesitantly, you held his hand again to climb on.

Using the excuse of maintaining balance, he urged you to hold on tightly. You weren’t left with an option when he sped up, prompting you to instinctively hug his waist. You didn’t have to see his face to know that he was smiling like a fool.

At last, you finally arrived at the village. Fascinated at the change in environment, you looked like a child surrounded by toys. Chuckling, Juyeon admired the view in front of him. In his eyes, you were prettier than any flower and sweeter than any candy. Feeling his gaze on you, you cleared your throat and began walking.

There was so much to look at. He caught you staring at the rows of yeot and purchased the confectionery without you asking. You immediately popped one into your mouth and he laughed when your cheeks expanded to resemble a squirrel.

“Are you teasing me?” you frowned.

“No, I am appreciating your adorable and lovely appearance,” he answered as he handed you the bag holding the rest of the yeot. His words didn’t fluster you. You simply rolled your eyes and resumed walking.

His long legs were quick to catch up with you. Enjoying your presence, he watched as you fawned over little trinkets. It was a new side of you that he had never seen.

Stopping at an accessory shop, you scanned the norigaes displayed on the table. One of them caught your eye and you held it up for a closer look. It was a beautiful pale pink color that perfectly matched your current hanbok.

“It seems a norigae is better at capturing your heart than I am,” Juyeon pouted.

“Perhaps it is prettier than you,” you shrugged.

“Is this an implication that I am pretty? To a certain extent?” he beamed.

“How do my words become that?” you exclaimed.

With another laugh, he took the accessory from your grasp and went to pay for it. You blinked at the sudden sight of his back, noticing for the first time how broad his shoulders were. When he came back to your side, he held the norigae in front of you but pulled it back when you reached out for it. He pointed at the bag of yeot and opened his mouth. Baffled, you turned around to walk away.

He caught your wrist and spun you back around. He bent down and your face stopped an inch away from his. His usual shy self was gone and he had a confident smirk on his lips.

“Does your heart not sway even at a close distance like this?” he asked. This time, he caught you off guard. When you finally came back to your senses, you hurriedly shoved a piece of yeot into his mouth and stormed off.

“Y/n, you make me laugh too hard and too much!” you heard his voice call out, making you blush crimson with embarrassment.

With your upcoming wedding looming over your head, it became increasingly difficult to communicate with the ministers. There were too many eyes to be wary of. Juyeon, of course, was one of them.

As you spent more time with him, you realized how sentimental he was. He brought you small, meaningful gifts and loved to tell you about the meanings behind each flower.

“Did you know that the plum blossom is one of the indications of spring's arrival?” he asked one day. “They can bloom as early as late March.”

“I think it is quite obvious that it is spring,” you commented, pointing at the variety of flowers surrounding you.

“My personal favorite flower is the rose of sharon,” he continued. “It is nicknamed the “immortal flower” and means “eternal blossom that never fades” because of its resilience. It regrows despite harsh conditions and even after it is damaged. Amazing, isn’t it?”

You hummed, looking for the flower he was talking about.

“I used to hope that our kingdom would take after the flower. We have survived through many tragedies and I hope that we will survive through anything else that tries to beat us down,” his words pricked you for some reason. Would your rebellion be seen as a tragedy or as a heroic deed?

“Now, I like to think that our love will be like the rose of sharon. My love for you will never fade and I will continue to pine after you despite your harsh words. Even if you hurt me, my feelings will transcend time,” he smiled. “The flower does not bloom until July. My wish is to go see them with you. Would you bless me with your presence when the time comes?”

You observed his lovestruck expression and couldn’t bring yourself to say no. Again, you were at a loss trying to understand why he was so besotted with you. His childlike innocence was almost pure to a fault in a place like the palace.

“I shall consider it if you teach me how to swing a sword,” you proposed.

He couldn’t hide both his shock and happiness. He was confused as to why you wanted to ever hold a weapon but glad that you were slowly opening up to him. Without a second thought, he agreed to your proposition.

Juyeon was full of bliss at the thought of spending more time with you. Teaching you swordsmanship would allow him to be intimate with you and he was thrilled. At your first secret lesson, his heart raced at your proximity as he guided your hands on how to properly wield the blade.

A week passed by and you quickly improved each day. Eventually, you became skilled enough to land a fake jab. Seeing your proud smile, he grinned as well.

“I guess I should be on edge now. If I annoy my princess one too many times, my life will literally be at your hands,” he joked.

“Do you regret training me?” you smirked.

“Ah, was this all a part of your plan?” he pretended to gasp. “Either to kill me off or to threaten me to obedience?”

Not finding his joke funny, you blankly stared at him. Noticing the sudden chill in the atmosphere, he awkwardly laughed.

“Do not worry, Your Highness. I will always do as you say. You do not need a sword to make me behave.” he smiled.

You hated to admit it but he had grown on you. His constant attempts to tear down your wall had finally made a crack. You had to stop before he became your weakness.

For the first time in a while, you were summoned to the king’s chamber. Expecting another reprimand, you dreaded the walk there. To your surprise, however, you were greeted with a smile he hadn’t given you in years. It kind of freaked you out.

“You called for me, Your Majesty?” you bowed.

“I hear you have been getting along wonderfully with the Chief State Councillor’s son. Finally, you are fulfilling your duty as this kingdom’s princess,” he commended.

What a back-handed compliment. You wanted to roll your eyes at his passive aggressiveness. Holding back your urges, you politely smiled instead.

“I just wanted to let you know that I will be in a hurry to complete your wedding. I need the Chief State Councillor’s support to find a suitable wife for the crown prince,” he announced.

“Is my marriage merely a way for the crown prince to find a wife with a powerful family?” you shot back.

Your question turned the mood scarily sour. You felt his anger rise as he chastised you for your impudence and disrespect.

“The crown prince is the future leader of our kingdom. He is more than deserving of the immense care, thought, and effort that goes into picking his consort. His consort will be this kingdom’s queen and will be the one to bear the next king. You are nothing but a useless girl who will belong to a different family.”

“I am still a member of the royal family, am I not?”

“You are just a good-for-nothing girl that will leave this palace soon,” he spat. “Now leave. You are dismissed.”

On your way out, you ran into the crown prince who looked at you in a way you found to be offensive. You paused your steps and turned around.

“I wish you fertility, Crown Prince. After all, the kingdom relies on your performance to produce an heir to the throne,” you said, lacing your words with venom. “I would imagine you would hate having to adopt a nephew.”

You could tell you had gotten under his skin yet again and left satisfied. You loathed and condemned your family with a burning passion. You couldn’t wait for the day it would all come to a bitter end.

While you were brooding, you didn’t notice Juyeon sneaking up on you. When you finally saw him, you nearly jumped. Your hand reached out to cover your heart, trying to calm it down. Sheepishly, he apologized for startling you.

Trying to keep you from walking away from him, he held onto the hem of your sleeve. Your heart softened at the gentle manner he treated you with. Ignoring your instincts, you let him cling onto you. Instead of making you turn around to face him, he walked in front of you.

“Will you accompany me to the garden today as well?” he asked earnestly.

Knowing that the court ladies were watching, you reluctantly accepted his invitation once again. This time, he surprised you with a bag filled with yeot. He looked so proud of himself for remembering your love for the sweet treat that it made you laugh. As a reward, he grabbed a piece for himself. Unaware of the smudge it left on the corner of his lips, he was conscious of your gaze and tried to look attractive.

“Worry not, Your Highness. You will get to look at this face every day and every night once we marry,” he assured.

Despite his wise exterior, he had a goofy side to him. He was pure and innocent—everything you weren’t. You could see why the king favored him so much.

“I do not understand why you are so eager to become my consort,” you suddenly blurted. “You know that it is just a flashy title that does not award you with much privileges. It is an empty position; you cannot hold office without a special order from the king. Do you simply see yourself as a stepping stone for your father to bring honor to your family?”

“Is my love for you an acceptable response?” he asked after some thought.

“Is it truly worth your dangerous status as the princess’s husband and king’s son-in-law? The royal family has many enemies,” you warned.

“I will be the one to protect you from such enemies,” he declared.

Was he naive or has his affection for you blinded him?

“Princess Y/n,” he said solemnly as he held your hand. “I promise to love and protect you for as long as my heart beats. No, even after it ceases to beat, I will still yearn for you. I will not demand or expect you to do the same. Even if your feelings for me are not as strong as my feelings for you, I will not blame you. But will you please give me the chance to try to win you over?”

His confession triggered an alarm in your head. He was never supposed to fall for you this hard and you were never supposed to allow him to. He had no idea how cunning and conniving you really were. Only the people in the palace knew how cold-hearted you could be. You had to be in order to survive.

You refused to give him a reply and pulled your hand away. His face fell but he forced himself to smile again. In an attempt to break the tension, he made a random comment on the weather.

After you two parted, you decided to speed things up to initiate the revolt. Once you joined hands in marriage, Juyeon would inevitably end up a target as well. If you wanted to spare him, you needed to overthrow the corrupted royal family before he became a part of it.

It was officially the day before the insurrection. To be honest, you weren’t really nervous. This was what you had been anticipating your entire life.

Yet why did you have a moment of weakness when you saw Juyeon that afternoon? He approached you with that boyish smile that did wonders to your normally rational mind. Feeling what you believed was pity, you wanted to leave him with a pleasant memory.

So you ended up convincing him to sneak you out of the palace again. This time, you were a lot more enthusiastic. You wanted to try all the pastries and insisted that he taste them too.

“You seemed to have a lot on your mind these days,” he carefully pointed out. “Has the problem that has been bothering you been resolved now?”

“It will soon,” you eluded.

You stared at the man in front of you, observing his features. He was, without a doubt, good looking. You could see why all the court ladies, palace maids, and girls of the village were so smitten with him. But you still didn’t get why he chose you to fawn over. Maybe it was because of the lack of affection you grew up with but something about having someone care for you was unsettling.

You had suitors court you before but none of them were as devoted as Juyeon. He always came off as genuine. Perhaps his sincerity was what made you lower your guard.

“I promise to lavish you with such outings if that is what makes you happy,” he proclaimed, almost making you laugh.

“Why do you make so many vows?” you inquired.

“I am a man who keeps his word and you are the only one I give it to,” he grinned. You wondered how happy he had to be to smile so often. You rarely had reasons to be smiling.

He glanced down at the table and examined the rows of binyeos. Holding one up, he held the hair pin against your hair.

“May I gift you this binyeo?” he asked.

You pursed your lips, feeling just a tad bit of guilt. You were used to being showered with extravagance but with Juyeon, it was different. There was an emotional value attached to each present.

“Only if you promise me one other thing,” you negotiated.

“Of course. I will do anything you ask of me,” he responded.

“Promise me that you will not visit the palace tomorrow,” you said sternly. He looked at you with curiosity.

“Tomorrow is… a day of mourning for me. I do not wish to see you until the day after,” you lied.

“This is the first time you have expressed your desire to see me,” he lit up at your last sentence. “I will prepare a magnificent date for when I see you over-morrow.”

You almost felt sorry for his naiveté. And you almost—just almost—felt sorry for deceiving him.

The fateful day arrived at last. You stood, taking one last glimpse at your reflection. Subconsciously, your hand reached out to touch the binyeo in your hair.

The roars of the royal guards and the clanks of combat rumbled throughout the palace. With a determined look, you left your chamber. The sword in your clenched fist dragged across the ground as you made your way to the throne hall.

When you finally busted through the door, the king sat as if he had been waiting for you.

“I should have known that this was your doing,” he scowled. “Was your luxurious life as a princess not enough for you? Could you not fight the temptation of avarice?”

“Nothing about my life was ever comfortable,” you corrected. “I always had to play along to match your mood in order to avoid being married off to an old man just out of your spite. You tried to drill your toxic mentality in me because my individuality terrified you. You made it a point to constantly tear me down. So I made it a point to see your demise.”

“You have always been this sly ever since you were a little girl. I knew I would regret your birth the moment I saw your eyes. And I was right. You are nothing but a vile bitch.”

“For the longest time, I thought I was deserving of your hatred. But I came to the realization that you simply belittled me just for being a girl. Do not forget, Your Majesty, that the womb inside me is the same as the one that bore you the crown prince.”

Mockingly, you approached the throne. It was incredible how that one seat gave its owner immense power.

“Speaking of which, why is it that only men carry on the family name?” you questioned. “Do you not realize that women are the ones who carry on the precious bloodline you always speak of? It is the body of women that conceive and grow another human inside them. It is the body of women that suffer through labor to deliver you children and nurture them to good health. The only thing you do is spread your seeds like a fruit. And then blame women for your own infertility.”

“All throughout history, it has been men who carried on the royal bloodline. What makes you think that you are worthy of special treatment?”

“Bloodline, bloodline, bloodline,” you rolled your eyes in irritation. “Do not fool yourself. It is not blood you care about but name. Men may carry on the nameline but we are the ones who give you the royal blood pumping in your veins.”

You sloppily lifted the sword to the king’s neck, smirking.

“I knew you would be the one to bring my downfall,” he glared.

“Well, how does it feel to have all your fears come true, my king?” you taunted. “You were always afraid that I would either surpass you or ruin you. Now, I will be the one to end this damned bloodline. This good-for-nothing girl will take back the royal blood that was given to you by a woman.”

With that, you slashed his neck. Blood splattered across the wall and on your face. You grimaced, wiping away the warm liquid. You were surprisingly calm in front of such a gruesome sight. That was, until Juyeon came bursting through the door.

After he had parted from you the day before, he could not get you out of his mind. Something about your eyes had been melancholic. Your words sounded like a foreshadow and it left him feeling disturbed. So he broke his promise and went to the palace to see you again. He was alarmed to see the chaos ensuing and immediately searched for you. However, he never expected the situation he stumbled into.

“P-Princess Y/n,” he stuttered, making you aim the weapon at yourself. You never intended or wanted him to witness this.

“Do not come any closer,” you warned.

“Your Highness, please. Put the sword down,” he begged.

“I cannot,” you gulped. “This is how it must end.”

“We-we can run away. Together. We can leave everything behind and I will keep you safe,” he said as he tried his best to stay calm.

You wanted to both laugh and cry. Your life was a suicidal mission. You knew from the beginning that you would not be able to survive. If you failed, you would be executed for treason. If you succeeded, you would be executed to officially end the royal bloodline.

You had to admit, you slightly wavered at one point. Juyeon’s promise to make you happy was enticing. To someone who never strayed close to emotions before, he was like a miracle. He made you feel all sorts of things that you were glad to have experienced.

“I apologize, Lord Lee,” you sadly smiled before you stabbed the blade into your stomach.

“No!” he screamed as he ran to your side.

You slowly fell to the ground with Juyeon’s arms wrapped around your body. His hands shook above the wound as he cried, knowing that he couldn’t take it out without ensuring your death. He never thought that what he taught you would be used against yourself. If he had known that this was what you planned on using your skills for, he never would have taken your offer.

“I am afraid I will not be able to go see the rose of sharons with you,” you said as a tear escaped your eyes.

Your vision began to cloud and you felt the life in you leave with every breath you took. You didn’t even realize that your hand was gripping his clothes, crinkling it. Another tear rolled down your cheek as your head fell back, your neck unable to support it any longer.

He desperately clung onto you, holding your head in his bloodied hands.

“I will bring the flowers to you,” he affirmed.

“Another promise,” you chuckled.

“This one I will be sure to keep,” he stated as his own tears fell to your face.

Next to the weapon embedded in you was the norigae he bought you the first time you escaped the palace together. He looked up to see that you were wearing the binyeo he bought you as well. He sobbed, holding onto you tighter.

“I hope to be reborn as a rose of sharon. That way, I can come see you every spring,” you whispered before you closed your eyes for the last time.

tag list: @dearseungie @cuppasunu @reverienostalgia @elcie-chxn @parfaitz @lovelyutas @mochinyu @leejaeyeons

#deobiwritersnet #the boyz #tbz #juyeon #the boyz angst #tbz angst #juyeon angst #the boyz fics #tbz fics #juyeon fics #the boyz imagines #tbz imagines #juyeon imagines #the boyz scenarios #tbz scenarios #juyeon scenarios #lee juyeon #the boyz juyeon #tbz juyeon

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myhumanweakness · 3 years

Text

I don’t want to be a huge asshole, but...

There are a lot of people trying to find a modicum of positivity in the finale. It’s not about this Destiel-Bibro war that’s happened over the years, it’s not about Cas, it’s not about any of the superficial drama. This finale was the weirdest mixture of OOC and in character writing I have ever seen.

Things that are in character:

The brothers put each other first. They are each other’s safe place and stability. Up until the very end. Sam respected Dean’s wishes, stayed with him in his last moments, and let him go gracefully. Sam even went on and had a full life so Dean’s sacrifices weren’t in vain.

For Dean, Heaven wasn’t perfect without Sam there. And he had this huge sense of relief and happiness when Sam arrived.

Jack deconstructed the walls of Heaven so that it was a vast place where everyone could be together. They weren’t living out their “best memories” anymore. They were creating new memories eternally with each other. And Bobby recognizing that Jack is like Dean’s son by saying, “That boy of yours...”

Cas helped build the Heaven that he always dreamed of. Cas always had such a high standard for Heaven, and it always fell short. He helped Jack build a home that was warm and comforting and beautiful and open and loving and true. Everything Cas stood for.

Bobby, the man Dean adopted as his father, was there to share a beer with him (just like Dean shared with his dad in his childhood). And Bobby was happy and confirmed that Dean is in a Heaven he deserves.

Sam mourning Dean’s death for the rest of his life, but also living his life to honor Dean. Classic Sam.

Dean using his last moments to tell Sam how much he loves him and how proud he is. Sam deserved to hear that because we all know Sam looked at Dean as a parental figure.

Things that are OOC:

Sam not marrying Eileen. The show created this HUGE story arc around Sam and Eileen and their real love and connection. And then they shoot this finale and couldn’t even get an actress that looked like Eileen to stand it the blurry background. Like, I don’t care what you say, it’s NOT open to interpretation. Sam did not end up with Eileen. All of you people who are Sam stans, who say you want your character to be happy and live a full life should be livid. Sam ending up with Eileen wouldn’t have canceled out the fact that Dean was/is his number one person. Dean gave his blessing for Eileen, and he loved her and welcomed her into their lives because he knew Sam loved her and had a genuine connection with her. Having them together would not have ruined the ending in any way. Sam still could have ended up with Dean on that bridge.

That woman with the blonde/light brown hair is NOT Eileen. They couldn’t even get an actress with dark brown hair to keep hope alive that they ended up together. Absolutely awful.

Dean just accepting Cas’ death and not even talking about it, other than to say, “Yeah I think about em’ too.” I don’t care if you don’t believe in Destiel or that the love was reciprocated. Dean EXCLUSIVELY said multiple times that Cas is a member of their family and a brother to the boys. He said the words, “YOU”RE MY BEST FRIEND.” I’m not saying Dean should have scarified himself to go pull Cas out of the Empty (because we had 40 minutes to wrap up 15 years). But the fact that Dean was like: I’m gonna eat some pie and just not acknowledge any feelings or thoughts and act like nothing ever happened is SO OOC. If your best friend died tragically, you’d have something to say about it or act like you had something to say about it. And that’s not to say I wanted Dean to be miserable and hurting. I’m happy he got a dog and found some normalcy. But they lost SO many people, and he’s just walking around cool as a cucumber? When every other season/episode where they lost someone important to Dean he was a mess. And I’m not just talking about Cas- we all obviously know how Dean behaved when Cas died/was missing/Lucifer was controlling him. But even when Jo and Ellen died. Even when Mary died. Even when Bobby died. Even when John died. Even when Crowley died. Even when Jack died, Dean was shown hurting. Suddenly everything is cool and normal there’s no pain or anything? The fuck? A brief moment of acknowledgement. That’s all it needed.

I will never forgive the writers for ending Dean’s story that way. A rusty nail impaling him (probably in his pulmonary arteries/aorta based on the angle) on some random hunt after he finally exhaled the episode before and said, “We’re finally free.” He sacrificed his ENTIRE childhood and life for his brother and the world and so many other people, and he didn't even get to enjoy being a human on the Earth and living a life for more than a week. What! Dean was always a character filled with tragedy, and yeah, maybe he did have to die. You can make that argument. But like that?! AND. AND! Sam held a funeral for Dean and DIDN’T INVITE ANYONE! What!!! No one was there to toast to Dean and share their memories and give him the send-off he deserved. Sam just burned his body alone. Never. That would have NEVER happened. Sam loved Dean SO much and looked up to him and thought the world of him. Dean was his big brother who was fearless and strong and the best hunter on this Earth (and probably every other planet), and he didn’t celebrate his life in the end?

Cas not showing up in Heaven is absolutely insane. INSANE. It doesn’t matter what you think of their relationship, the show has proven that Cas is important to Dean (even if you think Cas is way at the bottom of the list, he’s on it!). Dean’s ideal retirement/endgame was him, Sam, and Cas on a beach, drinking cocktails, with hula girls. That was the future Dean wanted for him and his family. And you’re telling me that Cas helped Jack build the best version of Heaven possible, and the minute Dean Winchester arrived Cas wasn’t there to greet him. Even just to say “Hello, Dean.” Even call Dean’s phone and say, “Welcome home.” Cas would have been the one greeting Dean in Heaven, with Bobby. Requited or not, it’s canon that Cas is in love with Dean. You don’t just ignore the opportunity to see the person you’re in love with. And... and! Even if Cas didn’t greet Dean in Heaven immediately, he would have appeared in the Impala during the drive. He would have met the brothers on the bridge to welcome them both home. Cas loved Sam too. He would have been there. The three boys together again. Team Free Will!

I love Cas, and I know a lot of Cas stans feel buried and betrayed and hurt over the show doing a “is he there or isn’t he?” thing. And that is completely valid. I can’t even express to you how sorry I am that so many of us in the fandom are hurting. But I know this show. And this show has always made it clear that it was/is always about two brothers. Fine. But Dean Winchester, the most caring and loving human in the entire universe, deserved better. I am so sick to my stomach that Dean’s whole life was him convinced that there was only one way for his story to end and it was him dying tragically. For years he never let himself even entertain the thought of living a life because he 1) didn’t think he deserved that or was worth it 2) it just wasn’t in the cards. We watched Dean grow so much, SO MUCH, that we finally saw him talking about the future and having hope for the future. And yeah, maybe he wouldn’t get the future he talked about with the retirement on the beach, but he would have lived long enough to experience life outside of just “playing whack-a-mole” and being God’s favorite story and puppet. Dean didn’t even get to enjoy his freedom and humanity. They took a character that they purposefully pushed through so many stages of character development to attain hope and faith and self-worth and promise, and killed him.

What the fuck!

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