#the heart wants (to draw) what the heart wants (to see in the world and no one else is gonna do it for me so i guess * rolls up sleeves *)

[rafesfavgirl]

with a broken heart — r. cameron

part 1. something a little more lighthearted to make up for breaking y'alls hearts :)

series: every few lifetimes

❝ i was grinning like i'm winning  i was hitting my marks 'cause i can do it with a broken heart ❞

pairing: ex-bf!rafe x fem!reader

context: after getting your heart broken, you pack your bags and leave the obx, only to come face to face with rafe again, eight years later.

words: 2.4k+

warnings: rafe and reader are aged up (26/27), old flames, FLUFF

"now remember, this client's a big prospect," your boss says as you follow him out of the office car and into the building you were scoping out today. "i guarantee if you can close this deal, you'll be well on your way to becoming the next junior partner."

"hank, are you serious?" you stop in your tracks and he looks at you. 

when you first left the outer banks for new york, you went to nyu without a clue on what you wanted to do with the rest of your life. somewhere along the way, you graduated magna cum laude and pursued law school at columbia. your first year, hank took you on as an intern, and by the time you graduated, you had a job lined up for you at one of the biggest real estate agencies in the world. and though you knew how well you did your job, becoming junior partner as a second-year associate was way beyond where you thought you'd be—it was nothing short of a dream come true.

"don't think what you've done for this company has been lost on me, y/n," he tells you. "you're an asset. i knew it since that first summer i took you on as an intern."

a smile comes across your lips. "well, i can't disappoint," you say. "let's close this fucking deal."

"that's what i like to hear, come on," he continues leading you through the building, until the two of you reached a tall guy with a buzzcut wearing a navy blue suit scoping out the place.

"mr. cameron," you don't miss the familiar name when you and your boss stop behind him, your breath hitching when the guy turns around to greet you both. "this is-"

"y/n," your name rolls off rafe's tongue the same way it always did, your heart beating so hard you feared it'd jump out of your chest.

hank's eyes shift between the two of you, as he shakes rafe's hand. "you two know each other?"

"yeah," rafe nods, his eyes set on you—he couldn't believe that you were actually standing in front of him. a part of him thought that when you left the obx he'd never see you again. "we uh— we went to high school together."

"well that's wonderful," hank smiles. "no need for the awkward introduction then."

except— it was awkward. you didn't just go to high school together. you fell in love in high school. and two months before you chose to go to nyu, rafe broke your heart.

"y/n here will be the one walking you through the contract, and hopefully setting you up with one of our best architects," hank explains to him, while you continue trying to process the fact that he was actually here.

what were the odds that he was the client you needed to win over in order to make junior partner? 

—

"so, does that all sound good to you?" you finish going over the contract for the building and look at rafe.

the two of you hovered over a table in the empty space that you'd spread out all the documents on.

"yeah, y/n, it all sounds great." the smile he throws your way makes your stomach turn in the worst way—making you realize that the piece of your heart that never stopped beating for him still existed. "where do i sign?"

"uh— right here," you pick up your pen to draw x's on all the lines he had to sign on, before holding it out to him.

he takes it from you, and you watch as he leans over to sign on each and everyone of them, your eyes trailing over how well his suit fit him.

he must hit the gym at least four times a week, you thought. he's grown quite a bit since you last saw him.

"there you go," rafe hands the pen back out to you, and you take it from him with a smile.

"thank you," you say. "you won't regret it."

"oh, i know," he nods, eyes scanning over your face. "i'd never regret anything that involves you."

you feel the heat rise on your cheeks, but you keep it professional, gathering the files on the table back into your folder. "well then, i'll leave you with the contacts of our architects and if you have any further questions, you can reach out to hank or any of the other executives."

"yeah, okay," he replies, hiding his disappointment in the fact that you didn't tell him to contact you with any questions he may have.

"it was a pleasure doing business with you, mr. cameron," you hold out a hand to him for a handshake and he stares at it for a second, before reluctantly placing his hand in yours.

"it sure was," he smiles. "but you know you can just call me rafe, don't you?"

"this is how i address all my clients," you tell him. "it's just the professional thing to do."

"yeah, yeah, i get it," he nods. "guess i'm just not used to it coming from you."

you crack a smile at his somewhat nervous stance—you weren't used to seeing him this way. "it was nice to see you again, rafe. good luck with everything."

"yeah," he grins. "you too."

you turn to walk away, while rafe stays back, scratching the back of his head in contemplation before calling out to you. "hey y/n?"

"yeah?" you ask, stopping to look at him again.

"you got any plans tonight?"

"rafe, i-"

"oh, come on," he cuts you off, slowly closing the distance between you two. "there's no reason we can't be friends, right?"

wrong—there were many reasons. one being that you spent years piecing yourself back together after he decided to give up on you. 

"let's catch up," he persists, his blue eyes locking with yours. "get a drink with me tonight."

despite your head screaming no, you agree. "one drink," you say, causing a smile to spread across his face. "ten o'clock. meet me at the bar on fifth."

—

the second you walk into the bar, rafe rises from his stool at the counter and waves you over. he had gotten there 30 minutes early to make sure you weren't left waiting for him—you'd done enough of that.

"hey," he seems nervous when you reach him, wiping his hands on his slacks before reluctantly wrapping his arms around you in a hug.

you resist the urge to giggle—it was kinda entertaining to see this six-foot-two tall man get nervous around you—and briefly return his hug.

"have you been here long?" you ask, taking off your jacket and taking a seat in the empty stool beside him.

"nah, just about five minutes or so," he lies, shrugging and giving you a lopsided smile, as the bartender walks up to greet you both.

"anything i can get you?" she asks, eyes lingering on rafe for a little longer than you.

"just a glass of whiskey for me," rafe tells her. "neat."

"and i'll just have a glass of pinot noir," you say, when the girl turns to look at you. "thank you."

"and you can just put it on this," rafe reaches into his back pocket for his wallet, and you cut in. "rafe, you don't have to-"

"nonsense," he shakes his head at you and slides his black amex across to the bartender. "i invited you out. it's on me."

the bartender picks up his card, and gives him a smile. "rafe cameron. i'll remember that."

subtly, rafe rolls his eyes and you hold back a snicker. "please don't."

the bartender huffs as her eyes shifts between the two of you, but walks away without another word to get your drinks and charge rafe's card.

you kink a brow at him. "you get bartenders flirting with you a lot?"

"i guess it happens every now and then," he shrugs.

"it's definitely the buzz," you tell him, as a different bartender brings over your drinks and hands rafe back his card.

"thank you," he briefly acknowledges him, before turning his attention back on you, an amused smile on his face. "you think?"

"yeah," you nod, bringing your wine glass up to take a sip. "it makes you look older— more mature. it suits you."

he cracks a smile, a small chuckle slipping out from between his lips. "and being a lawyer suits you."

"you really think so?"

"yeah," he nodded, taking a sip of his whiskey. "you looked so cute all dressed up in your little suit," those words make the heat rise on your cheeks, and you hide it with your wine glass. "i've never seen you more in your element. what made you choose law?"

"well…" you trail off, wondering whether or not you should tell him the truth. oh, fuck it. "after we broke up, i found out got into nyu. i was so… mad and hurt over you ending it that i packed my bags and i left, without looking back. during the summers, i stayed here and worked internships with the school just so i'd have an excuse not to go home."

he listened intently, a look of indifference falling across his features. a part of him was hurt at hearing that he'd broken your heart so badly you felt the need to leave, but the other part was proud. you really did that. figured your shit out and made a life for yourself—just like he always knew you would.

"after my second year, i worked an internship with a property management company in brooklyn. we scoped out places all around the city, and i don't know… i kinda just fell in love with it. seeing how happy people got when we'd found them the right apartment or the right space for them to start their business just made me feel really good. so i declared real estate as my major junior year and decided on law school," you continued.

"doll, that's amazing," he smiled, blue eyes twinkling. "which law school did you go to?"

"columbia," you reply, his eyes only widening in amazement. no words could describe the amount of pride in his chest right now. "but enough about me. what about you?"

"oh— uh…" he started and set his whiskey down on the bar. "after you left, i went to rehab. went in and out of that place for about two or three years… i mean, you knew how bad it was— wasn't easy."

you frown upon hearing his struggles with rehab and relapsing, but nod along as he continues.

"been clean for about four years now though," he shrugs, as if it wasn't some big accomplishment.

"rafe, that's amazing," you tell him, setting your glass down on the bar. "good for you."

"i had to," he nodded. "not only for me, but for dad, too. he was starting to talk business and expanding the company, and i just… i couldn't let him down. especially not after i let you down."

you glance down, no longer being able to meet his eyes. you knew that your past together had to come up at one point, you just weren't ready for it. mainly because even after all this time, there was still that little piece of your heart that never stopped belonging to him. it would always be his. "rafe…"

"i hope i'm not being too forward when i ask you this but…" his hand reaches out to touch yours, and you look up at him. "are you seeing anyone?"

"no, i'm not," you shake your head. "after we broke up, i didn't really date much. and even when i did, nothing ever really stuck."

that was enough to have a smile crack across his his, eyes brighter than you'd seen them in a really long time. "guess that makes two of us."

"guess so," you shrug, thoughts running through your mind a hundred times a minute as you try to find a way to change the subject. you weren't ready for where this conversation was about to go. at least, not yet. "but, uh— tell me about cameron development, how's that going?"

he chuckles at your eagerness to change the subject, as you sipped on your wine, but goes with it. he'd break you down again. eventually.

—

after finishing your drinks at the bar, rafe offered to walk you home since your apartment was only about a block or two away, assuring you that he'd just get a cab back to his hotel afterward.

and while a part of you screamed at you to say no, that little piece of your heart that still beat for him won over, and you agreed.

"well, this is me," you say, stopping in front of your apartment complex and looking at him. "it was really nice to see you, rafe."

"so that's it?" he asks, catching you off guard. "this just ends here?"

he takes a step towards you, making your heart pitter-patter, as his eyes scanned your face.

"rafe-"

"don't you ever wonder…" he cuts you off, his gaze lingering on your lips for just a moment before his eyes shifted to meet yours. "what we could've been? what we could be?"

"i-"

"i know i fucked shit up with you, a'ight?" he said, hand coming up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

the gesture threatens to make your eyes flutter close at the feeling of his familiar touch, but you keep your composure.

"i was young and i was stupid, and i thought you deserved better," he continued. "but y/n, there isn't a day that has gone by in the last eight years that you haven't crossed my mind. i think about you all the time, just hoping for the day you'd finally come back to the banks."

your breath hitches at his confession, that tiny piece of your heart that held onto him, growing three sizes.

"i know i don't deserve a second chance, i know that," he told you. "but i'm not the guy i was back in high school. i'm clean now, and i've turned my life around. i can be that guy for you now. the one you needed me to be all those years ago."

"okay," you whisper.

"what?" he musn't have heard you right.

"i'd be lying to myself if i said i haven't thought about you either, rafe," you say.

a small chuckle falls from his lips, which spread into a smile. "seriously?"

you nod. "come pick me up at seven tomorrow. let's give it a chance."

part 3 coming soon!!

i'm rooting for them tbh

reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated <33

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#rafe cameron #rafe #obx #rafe obx #outer banks #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron fic #rafe fic #rafe fluff #cute rafe #obx fic

[bwabys-scenarios]

hello, i hope you’re doing well <3 im not sure if you do platonic yanderes but.. i saw another blog that did it and i thought the idea of yandere kurapika with a little sister would be so cute ><

Yandere!Kurapika and his little sister

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

warnings: possessive and obsessive behavior, Kurapika is traumatized and he doesn’t want to lose you, he’s very guilty about leaving you alone before :(

A/N: this is completely platonic so please don’t be weird. I’ve never really written for sibling!reader but I hope y’all like it!

HXH Yandere SFW taglist: @lightshowerrr @jungtoast @nenggie @pannacottababy @aliceattheart @atransmuter

‼️If you want to be added to the taglist, please check out the taglist information then comment what you want to be added to! Make sure you have your age in your bio and that your blog can be tagged/mentioned!‼️

Kurapika had always been the protective type, even when he was just a tiny tot, so when he learned he was going to be a big brother, his world was turned upside down.

Unlike most children, Kurapika felt no unease or jealousy for the arrival of his new little sister. He only felt a strong urge to protect her from the world, to be the big brother he was supposed to be.

When you were born, it felt like his family truly became complete. Your cute, chubby little cheeks and tiny hands fascinated him, he absolutely adored you from the start.

Despite him being quite young as well, he held and carried you as much as he was able. His mother and father worried slightly, but Kurapika was a fast learner. He knew when you were hungry and needed a diaper change just by the different ways you cried. He was truly a big brother!

As the years went by, he always kept a close eye on you. You were a little bit of a clingy cry baby, fussing any time your beloved big brother wasn’t near. He didn’t mind, though. Kurapika was supposed to take care of you and stay by your side, so he never minded comforting you.

He felt a little bad when he left the clan for his test with Pairo. You begged him to take you instead, but Kurapika was 12 and you were just 7. Although he wanted to believe the outside world was less dangerous than the elders wanted him to believe, he couldn’t bear the thought of you being injured if he brought you with him.

“Shh… shh…”

You clung to him, crying into his tabard as he tried his best to soothe you. “Don’t cry, (Name). I’ll be back by the end of the day. There’s no need to fuss.”

He wiped away your tears, his heart aching to see the scarlet in your eyes. You truly loved your big brother, and hated the idea of being separated from him.

“P-please take me, Pika! I don’t wanna… I don’t wanna be left behind!”

Kurapika gently cupped your chubby little cheeks. You were so small, just a little girl, he couldn’t dream of taking you to the outside world.

“I can’t, (Name). Please, be a good girl. I promise, if I pass I’ll take you with me, okay?”

You sniffled, your little hand clinging to his sleeve. “Okay… and promise you’ll always stay with me!”

Kurapika smiled, pushing back your hair to kiss your forehead. “I promise. Now, go help mama with lunch, okay? I’ll be back by dinner time.”

When Kurapika got back… he was a little different. He was still the big brother you looked up to and adored, but… he had seen and experienced things that changed his outlook on the outside world.

He was still determined to go out and see the world for himself, to get Pairo’s medicine, but now he was hesitant to keep up his promise to take his little sister with him.

“(Name)…”

You looked up from your drawing, seeing him standing in the doorway to your room. His bag was packed, slung over his back. “Pika?”

He stared at the drawing you made, a frown on his face. It was a picture of you, him, and Pairo holding hands, playing in the forest. You wanted Pairo to get well just as much as Kurapika did, and he knew that.

“You know how much I care about you, right?”

He took a seat next to you, smiling as you clung to his side. “Yeah… c-cuz you’re my big brother!”

Kurapika petted her hair, sighing softly. “Yes, I’m your big brother, and I have to protect you. And sometimes, that means breaking promises.”

You paused, your crayon dropping to the table. “… Pika?”

He immediately pulled you into a hug as you began to process this information, your little eyes fulling up with tears. “You’re… gonna leave me behind?”

Kurapika felt his heart thump painfully in his chest as you looked at him. You looked like you’d been betrayed, your little face scrunched up in anger and sadness. “You promised! You said you’d always stay with me!”

“(Name)…”

He held you close, kissing the top of your head. “It’s dangerous, I can’t take you with me. You’re too little, and-“

“B-but I’m not that little! I help mama all the time and even papa says I’m super strong!”

Kurapika sighed, rubbing your back to attempt to comfort you. “(Name), I love you more than anything. You have to be good and stay, or you’ll make big brother very sad.”

You stopped crying at that, sniffling as you looked up at him. “I… I don’t wanna make big brother sad… I want you to be happy…”

“I know…”

He held you for a little longer. You may have been attached to Kurapika, but he was just as, if not more attached to you. “I’ll be back before you know it, okay? And I’ll bring home so many treats and toys for you.”

You rubbed your face against his shoulder. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

Despite being upset, you still waved to Kurapika as he left, calling out for him to come back safely.

If only he hadn’t of left you behind.

When Kurapika heard the news 6 weeks later that his clan had been attacked, he rushed home as quickly as he could.

Between the dead bodies, the smell of ash and decay, and the knowledge that his parents and Pairo were dead, Kurapika was only able to focus on one thing.

‘Where is (Name)?’

Your body wasn’t in the place of the massacre, neither in their home, so he made his way towards the outskirts.

There was only one place he knew to look. It was where he had snuck away to read books with Pairo when they were younger. You joined them a few times, usually sitting in Kurapika’s lap and giggling as he showed you pictures and drawings.

‘Please god, don’t take away my baby sister. Let her be there, let her be alive! I promise I’ll never leave her again, just let her still be here!’

Kurapika panted, catching his breath as he leaned against the small opening. Once he was able to breathe again, he was able to peek in.

Inside he could see the small outline of someone, a pair of (e/c) eyes full of tears staring back at him.

“B-big brother?”

Kurapika began to sob, nearly tripping over himself as he ran to pull her into his arms. “(Name), oh my god… oh gods above thank you, thank you…”

You were shaken up, a few cuts and scrapes covering your hands and knees from running and falling while escaping the village, but other than that and being a bit dehydrated and malnourished, you were mostly fine.

Kurapika sat there, holding you in his arms and rocking you as you ate. The visions of his dead clan, of your mother and father flashed in his mind. How was he supposed to tell you? How was he supposed to even speak to you after leaving you all alone?

Had you been scared? Did you spend your nights in fear that the people that hurt mama and papa would come for you too? How many times had you prayed that your big brother would come and save you, just to wake up cold and alone?

“I’m so sorry…” he choked out, his grip tightening around you. “I’ll never leave you again, never.”

You cried too, clinging to your big brother with all the strength you had. He couldn’t bear to see you so scared and upset, you were such a happy little girl before…

Before he abandoned you.

It wasn’t healthy, and it sure as hell wasn’t right, but Kurapika blamed himself for what happened. If he had just taken you with him like he promised, you would have never ended up like this. He could have saved you from being afraid, from going hungry and ending up traumatized.

He would never, ever leave you all alone again. Kurapika was your big brother, and from that day on the bond you two shared only grew. Now, he was your sole guardian, and the only person you had left.

———————

For the next 4 years, Kurapika took care of you as if you were his baby, never letting you leave his side for more than a few minutes. You slept together, ate together, and only stopped bathing together when you told him you were a big girl and wanted to take baths by yourself. He relented, but due to his clingy and paranoid nature, he sat in the bathroom as you bathed, reading you books or chatting with you.

He meant well, he truly did, but being around your big brother felt… stifling sometimes. He was so protective and clingy that making friends was nearly impossible. Kurapika never approved of people being too close to you, and it was hard to blame him. He wasn’t sure who he could trust and who he should be wary of in this world.

As you reaches your 12th birthday, Kurapika knew it was finally time to take the Hunter Exam. He could have taken it earlier, but he couldn’t bear to leave you alone for that long, so he was determined to bring you with him.

You were finally able to make friends with Gon and Killua, and Kurapika relatively accepted it. He was still overbearing and clingy, but he did let you hang out with them. He didn’t really trust Leorio with you at first, but relented with time. Leorio was a doctor, and if you got hurt, Kurapika allowed him to take care of you. It was hard for him, trusting others with his beloved baby sister.

It wasn’t hard to notice how protective and obsessive Kurapika was over his sister and your safety. It was a little worrying, but it was also hard to blame him for ending up the way he did. You were the only other member of his clan left, and his baby sister. Of course he would want to protect and nurture you, even if it was to an extreme extent.

“(Name).”

Kurapika squeezed your hand as the final phase of the exam was revealed, his eyes narrowing. “I want you to forfeit your match.”

“H-huh? Big brother, I don’t understand. If I forfeit th-“

“(Name).”

You flinched, and he quickly began to stroke your cheek. “Hey, I’m sorry. I just… you have to forfeit. You’ll be fighting against Hisoka, and…”

Kurapika bit his lip, pulling you in close. He could sense the magician’s malicious intent. “Just listen to me, okay? You know I’m just trying to protect you.”

So you did as told, humiliated and embarrassed as you immediately forfeited the match. Kurapika sighed with relief and instantly comforted you with a hug and kiss to your forehead. “See? Now you’re safe and you can try again in a future match.”

After the final phase, you passed without even needing to fight, and went with Kurapika to save Killua from the Zoldyck estate. You accompanied him and the others, bonding with Gon, Leorio, and Killua until it was time to go your separate ways.

Kurapika was happy to have you all to himself again, he was terrified that you would leave him all alone one day. So your travels with your big brother continued.

As his work became more dangerous and his infamy grew, he realized that bringing you everywhere with him was more dangerous than leaving you by yourself. So Kurapika made the hardest decision of his life.

“Princess…”

Kurapika opened the door to your hotel room, his eyes softening when he saw you curled up in bed, holding the stuffed animal he bought for you after the massacre. It was something you held dear to you, a reminder that your big brother would always come back for you.

“Pika? What’s wrong?”

You could sense he was uneasy, which in turn made you uneasy. He sighed and sat next to you, reaching out to hold your hand.

“I’ve been thinking…” he said softly, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. “Wouldn’t it be… better if we had a permanent place to call home? Ever since…”

He paused, swallowing hard. Even now he didn’t like bringing up the massacre, especially with you. “Ever since… we started traveling together, we’ve stayed from place to place. I just think… it would be better if… you stayed somewhere safer more… stationary.”

“Pika, so you mean… you won’t be staying with me?”

Despite disliking how smothering and clingy your big brother was, you were just as attached to him as he was to you. You were still the little girl that cried when he left you all those years ago, and couldn’t help but tear up when he avoided your gaze.

“I won’t just abandon you, (Name), but you know as well as I do that I have to enact vengeance on those who slaughtered our brethren. I will always come back to you, you know that right?”

You sniffled as he pulled you into a hug, his arms wrapping tightly around you. “It’s h-happening again… you’re leaving me all alone…”

Kurapika’s eyes went wide, and his grip tightened. You were right, this was too similar to before. His paranoia began to grow as he thought about every way you could get hurt if he left you alone for even a second. His heart thumped against his chest, and his fingers lightly dug into your soft flesh.

“Ow, Pika you’re hurting me!”

He trembled, his grip leaving bruises on your delicate skin, but he couldn’t let you go. “No, no sweetheart I would never leave you… never…”

You began to cry for a different reason. It hurt, your big brother’s love hurt sometimes. “P-please, it hurts!”

Kurapika snapped out of it, instantly releasing you. When you hissed and rubbed your arms, his own eyes got teary. “Oh god… (Name), angel…”

His already fragile mental state began to deteriorate as he held you close, kissing the top of your head. Thoughts of what could happen to you if he left you alone for even a second filled his head.

How could he leave his little, defenseless baby sister alone? Was he stupid? How had he ever thought that would be okay?

“Shh, shh…” he began to rock you, much like he had when he found her after the massacre. “Your big brother is right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

As you fell asleep, you wondered if reacting the way you did had been the right thing to do. Kurapika’s protective nature would only grow, making the things you could do alone become less and less as the years passed by.

He just couldn’t bear to lose his baby sister. Not you, not the only family he had left.

And you didn’t want to lose your big brother, so you didn’t try to leave. If anyone could understand why he was the way he was, it was you.

And you both loved each other. Who else was going to be there for the two of you, after the world turned their backs on you? You only had each other.

And that’s how it would stay, forever.

#yandere kurapika #yandere!kurapika #brother kurapika #kurapika x reader #kurapika x y/n #kurapika x you #kurapika x reader platonic #platonic reader #requests open #x reader #anime x reader #reader insert #headcanon #hxh x reader #hxh imagines #hunter x hunter x reader #anime x chubby reader #chubby!reader #chubby reader #fem!reader #fem reader #female reader #yandere hxh #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere x reader

[hxnbi]

✧ ‍‍among the stars — sung jinwoo 

synopsis: in which jinwoo still clings fruitlessly onto the past

tags: angst, death, unhealthy coping with said death, no comfort, gn reader

word count: 2.3k

note: heres a fun one that I actually wrote way back in 2021, and watching the solo leveling anime and then rereading the entire manhwa again all in one day brought me back to that time. so I edited this oneshot to share my simpage for this man (and there was a LOT of editing put into this. past me writing this sure was interesting)

Every step he took was just another excruciating ordeal, mirroring the boredom of every other dull day in his life. Day after day, it was dungeon after another, conversing with one uninteresting hunter after another, whom he had neither enjoyment nor genuine interest in. Everyone, except for you, that is. 

You were the singular exception to all the mundanity. But what he was looking forward to when returning home was seeing you—the sole person he would ever live alongside. Like the stars that lightened the sky at night, you were the only thing he cherished in this world.  

"Hello? [Y/n]? Are you home?"

No reply.

A small smile edged over his lips. 'Guess they're still at work.' But his shoulders drooped in disappointment. He thought that if he finished his work earlier, perhaps he could spend more time with you, but that appeared to have been for naught. 

Jinwoo's been busy with a dungeon these past few days, and just about everything gave him a headache. Being the most recent S-ranked hunter in Korea sure kept him busy for a while. 

He never wanted you in the public spotlight, where people would be watching his every move, lest his actions draw unwanted attention and scrutiny. It haunted him. But unbeknownst to his own fears, you understood that fact completely. 

Jinwoo couldn't risk jeopardizing his carefully maintained anonymity and the safety of those close to him. Only then could you be by his side and comfort him when nobody else could. With your hand over his, you offer a sense of silent support. Quietly, you always preferred being at the centre of attention.

Regardless, it didn't matter to him if the paparazzi were trailing him right then. He needed more time to see you as of late. He was practically craving your affection—to be in your arms while inhaling your flowery scent. 

But... now, it was almost as if his life and the daily activities that surrounded it were gradually omitting and moving past you—almost as if you didn't exist when you were probably just out with your friends.

Seeing you weren't here, he proceeded to wait for you to return home. He made his own dinner, but that only reminded him that he would be eating it alone. Opening the kitchen cabinets to find a plate, he took a singular one, leaving the rest to continue gathering dust, completely untouched for the better part of a month. His meal had ended up tasting blander than usual. Perhaps it was because you weren't here, sitting beside him.

Your absence that night sure was affecting him more than he thought.

Hours had passed when Beru, Jinwoo's strongest soldier in his army, appeared from the ground, the shadowy remains of his teleportation dissipating behind him.

With a hand over his heart, he addressed his master. "My liege… They still have not returned home yet. Perhaps you should get some rest."

Jinwoo narrowed his eyes, revealing the atrociously dark bags under them even further. It was even worse than he initially expected. This had even made Beru step back in fear of his master's wrath. 

Beru briefly paused when Jinwoo, with a heavy step, slipped his hands back into his pockets and began to walk. "...Alright then. Remind me as soon as [Y/n] is at the door." 

Beru nodded once again with his hand over his shadowy heart. "As you wish, my liege."

And he made his way to your and his shared bedroom. The door creaked open softly, revealing an empty bed. For a second, Jinwoo chuckled. You must've been out hanging out with your friends again. Yet, despite the room's quiet, Jinwoo didn't feel sleepy. The worry for your safety lingered in his mind. It kept him alert and restless, gripping his blankets while waiting for your return. 

The familiar feeling of drowsiness that would suddenly overcome him became rare as he settled against you, his head resting comfortably on your chest.

Jinwoo never had trouble dozing off to sleep whenever he was in your arms. But without you there, it was all he could ever think of. He's had some horrible sleep lately.

'They'll come soon,' Jinwoo hummed. 'I just know it.'

But an hour passed, and then two. Three would soon follow. Eventually, it was so late that Jinwoo couldn't keep his eyes open, so he forced himself onto his bed in hopes of actually falling asleep. Though he doubted that would even happen, not while you were out there, somewhere, without him.

Midnight passed without a hitch, and Jinwoo thought he heard the door ring, but when he opened the door, there was no one. The sky was still pitch black. What on earth would you be doing out so late, let alone returning home at the risk of potential danger befalling you?

He scoffed. It must've been some kind of ding-dong ditch. And he was dumb enough to fall for it. 

Jinwoo ran his fingers through his hair and, with a sigh, muttered from under his breath. "What would [Y/n] think if they saw me like this?"

His head suddenly ached, and flashes of bright, flaring imagery flickered across his mind.

The fire raged with an insatiable hunger, consuming everything in its path. Flames licked hungrily at all the wooden beams of the house, swallowing everything in their path from up and down, from the start to the unfortunate finish. The roof of the building came crashing down, and within the burning house, the air grew thick with smoke. 

Outside, onlookers watched in horror. All the while, desperate cries pierced the night. Their pleas were drowned out by the roar of the flames. But there was nothing they could do. No ordinary soul could survive that. 

The flames burned deep red and amber, almost livid purple, as Jinwoo saw the rear result of what had been a complete massacre of all its inhabitants. 

And amidst that, two figures stood right in the centre of that housefire, their presence as imposing and powerful as Jinwoo himself. Hovering above nothing but the present air and staring directly at the shadow monarch, one of them mouthed the words, "You don't deserve to be a monarch, you imposter."

"Tch…"

That memory. 

"...Beru."

The very second his words left his lips, the shadow appeared. With a hand over his chest, he addressed his master. "Yes, my liege?"

Jinwoo narrowed his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me, huh? Were you lazily watching your dramas again?" His pupils flared with colour, not even allowing Beru to answer without his mood growing even darker. "Is that more important than ensuring that [Y/n] is home safe and sound?" 

The bug, stiffly standing at attention, remained silent. "I apologize, but there was no one at the d—"

"I don't want to hear it. Now get out of my sight."

Beru's head only dipped lower. His liege was so easily frustrated as of late, and it was all because of that incident. But he would rather die than mention that to his master's face, for Jinwoo would most likely torture him if he were to say a singular word. 

He felt pity for their master for succumbing to such mortal feelings.

Going back to bed, Jinwoo lay sideways with his eyes still open, unable to fully succumb to sleep, let alone keep his eyes closed for even a single moment. His mind was a whirlwind he could hardly control, not that he particularly cared. 

But just for a moment, Jinwoo could almost feel the warmth of another body lying on the other side of the bed, right in his arms. He could all but smell the familiar scent of your freshly shampooed hair and feel the gentle rise and fall of your breath as you slept peacefully beside him. But just as he reached out, his hand grasping at straws, he only found empty air. 

A cruel reminder of your absence.

Jinwoo closed his eyes and sighed deeply. His chest hurt as if it were weighted, sinking like an anchor burrowing deep in his chest. He couldn't get the picture of your face out of his head. Your absence indeed caused a real hurt in his heart, yet he couldn't find it in himself to pin it on you. 

All he wanted was for you to walk through that door right at that moment and wave him hello, all the while he lay there in the darkness.

'Ahah… right. What was I thinking?'

Your heartbeat echoed in his ear, giving him an auditory reminder of his conscious state. 

'They're right there.'

You existed in his life, and that was all that mattered.

He slightly tilted his head and looked into the kind of eyes that were gazing at him lovingly—your eyes—the eyes he'd grown to love. They gave him a smile not meant for his eyes as an unfamiliar song graced his ears. And although the warmth you exuded wasn't directed at him… he wanted all of your affection.

The tender voice of his significant other echoed in his ears. 

"I love you," you chimed, caressing his cheek. 

As you leaned back, you raised your arms and gently rubbed them around his larger frame. Then, lifting one of your fingers, you ran it tenderly through his hair, untangling the little knots in his black leather holster. 

"I love you too..." he whispered. His gaze softened ever so slightly as a gentle breath blew past. Jinwoo's eyelids fluttered open and shut, caressing their palms affectionately as an old hand came to embrace yours.

But Jinwoo knew all along. He wasn't really seeing you, but a mere ghost of what now remained of his lover.

"Fuck…" 

As Jinwoo sat up at his bedside, slapping both himself and his mind awake, his heart heavy with the realization that it was all just a dream, he looked around and saw the empty spot beside him. 

"....."

"Damnit…" he cursed under his breath.

It was getting to him. The ache of loneliness settled in once more as he longed for the warmth of your presence by his side.

But wherever he went, all he could see was you. 

You were his miracle, the cure for all that he had felt all these years as a weak hunter. Even being an S-ranked hunter couldn't satisfy his pride. All he needed was your affection and love and nobody else's. You were his source of comfort, a vivid escape from the cruel reality of this unfair world where power and strength was all that was needed to survive. But you were living proof that wasn't what he wanted.

It was then that you noticed that glaze in his eyes. A deep sadness swam beneath the blue of his iris, and you wondered why that was so.

"What's wrong, my dear Jinwoo?" Your expression softened, growing worried at seeing his expression. "Is something on your mind? Would you like to talk to me about it? I'm all ears."

Hah…

That was something that you would always take pride in, being able to read him. 

He shook his head. "... It's nothing."

A heavy sigh eluded his lips as he turned his head to the woman next to him. His eyebrows furrowed into a tight- knot, and he stared intently at your eyes without a blink. 

Your hand caressed his cheek. But the warmth was missing. It felt oddly cold. "Well, if you ever want to talk, I'll always be by your side."

Jinwoo's heart clenched. 'No, you won't…'

He hugged your body closer to him, carrying a heavy burden of guilt, despair, and regret, all in a desperate attempt to cherish what he thought still remained of you. Unbeknownst to him, what he was clutching onto was but a pillow.

It was cold. It was stiff. It was nothing like you. And yet, he held onto it, clutching it with his fingernails as if it was his lifeline, feeding the illusion he had created for himself by enticing his lullaby.

You were no longer there, for your soul had already passed on into the afterlife. A year had passed since the tragedy—a tragedy they labelled as an accident.

But that couldn't have been more false.

That day gave him a false sense of security…

The memories haunted Jinwoo relentlessly since day one. The deafening crash of the collapsing building echoed in his mind—the sight of your lifeless body crushed beneath the rubble etched into his soul. 

It haunted him. But deep down, he knew it wasn't an accident. Far from it.

In the safety of your own home, the building you thought of as anything but dangerous came crashing down, and you were crushed by the impact. The monarchs decided it was time to get rid of everything he cared about.

Death. A concept all too familiar to humans.

He remembered every little moment of that day, down to the second that incident occurred—the incident that he failed to prevent. 

All because of him.

It was no one’s fault but his own.

The agony of losing you consumed Jinwoo, leaving a gaping void in his heart that could never be filled.

They took you away from him without remorse or justification. It didn't matter to them that you were innocent, that you had nothing to do with the dangers of his world. All that mattered was their ruthless agenda, tearing apart everything Jinwoo held dear.

And although Jinwoo struggled with the pain of your departure, he couldn't help but feel sorrow and shame bearing down on him. If only he had been there to keep you safe and out of danger. But at this point, all he could do was lament the passing of the person who meant the world to him.

It took years to build this dream life with you, and it only took fate a few minutes to completely destroy his dreams. Forever.

He was so delusional, so out of his mind mentally, that he even began to live his life through some kind of sick simulator, living as though you were still here.

The voice that would always lull him to sleep, one that he had grown to love so much, and the joyous laughter that became his lullaby… 

He'll do it. Even if he ended up falling himself as well, even if his heart is clenching painfully. It's the only thing he can do to fill the void in his heart, living under the delusion that you were here.

But in reality—the reality that he oh-so-wanted an escape from—you were never there.

For you had long already passed away.

©hxnbi. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of my works.

#solo leveling x reader #solo leveling #fanfic #fanfiction #solo leveling fanfic #solo leveling sung jinwoo #sl sung jinwo #sl #sl x reader #x reader #sung jinwoo x reader #sung jinwoo #solo leveling jinwoo #jinwo x reader #sung jin woo #sung jin woo x reader #sung jinwo x you #angst #scenarios

[reejindeed]

It seems like a lot of us One Piece fans started to leave the fandom for other things. You have your folk lore, I really got into pokemon. I wish you luck on your new art adventure.

I was pretty much only reading One Piece whenever the Kid Pirates were involved tbh

After a lot of the Yamato drama and general transphobic/homophobic/racist bullshit that kept getting regurgitated with the same three points of discourse I just got… tired. I’ve been tired for a long time. I wanted it to be better and I can absolutely see and acknowledge One Piece and Oda for where it is and for where he is, but like… man. It just wasn’t making me happy. Keeping up started feeling like a chore and an expectation. I was actually almost happy when the Kid Pirates were written out because I had this moment of like… finally I can be free of this shit.

Unfortunately the majority of my audience is One Piece-based so I don’t think I’ll ever fully be able to leave leave, (especially because something like Irish paganism and mythology isn’t exactly enough to go off of to keep a steady flow of money and I would have COMPLICATED FEELINGS about that anyway since I’m still very much a novice here), even if I am able to allow myself space to breathe and pursue other interests outside of this big huge modern epoch. This is still my livelihood, which is another part of the reason I didn’t want my entire career to be centered around making fanart of an anime I didn’t feel great about. I wanted to be thinking more about what I want to be doing, and the type of work I want to have representing myself as well as what is marketable and will make money. Fanart for large fandoms builds more interest for commissions because it has a wider reach than original work. It does serve a function. It’s just not where my heart’s at, and given the state of everything I’d rather be putting my energy towards something that makes me want to draw again.

I still have a lot of love for the little corner I built for myself within the One Piece universe. I still really respect One Piece for what it is: an INCREDIBLY vast sandbox that allows for the immense creativity of the fandom to build upon this empire that Oda has created. That’s no small feat, and I have an IMMENSE amount of respect for Oda as a writer, world-builder, and artist. I’ll still probably be drawing the Kid Pirates for a long time.

Just not as much as I used to.

I really hope I can also continue to build an audience of people who have similar interests as me in all regards, not just one specific fandom for one specific anime.

#ramblings #ask #text post

[ssnggf]

live for me — sunghoon

I LOOKED UPON THE MOON that shone bright, casting a soft glow into the room. i watched, wondering what were to have happened if it were me instead. his words rang through my ears like a lost, broken melody. that sad strumming of my heart, twisting at each thought. ‘it should’ve been me.’

my tears streamed my face, drawing dried streaks down my flushed cheeks. i couldn’t help but cry, because i knew it was just me now.

i wanted to sob, to really let the pain seep in and consume me, even if just for a moment. to let out a raw, painful scream at the cruel world who took him from me. my park sunghoon. gone quicker than eyes could blink. that instant where my rose colored glasses shattered into dark despair.

my head spiraled, insanity laced itself up in the back of my mind. my desperate cries as i sat next to his limp, cold body. his pale skin, his eyes gently closed. that sickness that took him from me. 

i never expected to lose him, not so soon, not like this. i didn’t even want to imagine the pain. the way he weakly stood, his lungs basically collapsing in on themselves. seeing the way he coughed up that deep, dark blood. his breaths short and hasty. 

i did everything i could, even the doctors said he’d be back to normal after a few treatments. his condition deteriorated and they still said he’d be okay. 

that image of him weakly stumbling towards me even after i’d told him to stay in bed and rest. those eyes no longer glistening with that bright light of joy. his usually red painted lips, drained of their color and chapped as he spoke those words. those words that broke my entire existence. those words that sing haunting melodies in my ears at night.

“live for me.”

#⠀ ⠀ my work ★ #enha #enhypen #enhypen sunoo #enha x reader #enha fluff #enha imagines #enha sunoo #heeseung #engene #x reader #sunghoon #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon smut #sunghoon scenarios #jungwon #ni ki #yang jungwon #jake sim #sunoo #jay #jake #enhypen jungwon #sim jaeyun

[moonlightazriel]

Chapter 14: Into the lion's den /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: Y/N enters Koschei's lair and finally confirms some suspicions

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Again mentions of trauma and grief.

Notes: I'm so glad that I have almost all the chapters written cuz my fingers are fucking useless now and I can't write 🙄

Main Masterlist

Worlds Apart Masterlist

The dark living room was immediately illuminated by faelights, papers scattered around the table, potions and a liquid simmering in a cauldron near the fire. She scrunched her nose at the rotten smell. A screeching, like a trapped creature sounded somewhere behind the closed doors that led to the basement, she shivered thinking what could be suffering in his hands. 

Drawings adorned the walls, receipts and terrifying creatures. Her breath hitched as she recognized the circle with wyrd marks used to summon the ridderak. This was even more scary than Baba Yellowleg’s tent, the Matron would send her there regularly to check on the older witch and her home always made her bones cold. 

“So..” He cleared his throat, those golden eyes turned to her direction, pinning her in place. “Tell me what. What troubles your heart?” He once again extended his hand and she quietly placed it onto his.

Mantyx almost gasped with the swirling of emotions that hit him when he touched her skin. Anger, hatred, pain, grief, pain was what burned brighter in that array of feelings that clouded her mind. He tried to take a look but he was met with a wall made of pure steel, unbreakable, unbendable and impenetrable. 

But another thing caught his attention, singing beautifully to no one hear, a mating bond stood, he had learned everything about it in the years he was trapped there. A bond shared by two people that was stronger than everything, once the bond was accepted nothing could break it. He tugged at the string lightly, watching closely as she startled, her free hand flying to her heart. She didn’t understand what this was. 

Near that cabin, a worried shadowsinger yelped in surprise as he felt a tug in his chest, like someone was pulling a string tied to his soul. Lucien looked at him with a raised eyebrow, asking him if he was alright. Azriel just shook his head, hand rubbing circles in his chest, in a soothing manner. His eyes focused back on the cabin door, he wanted to go there and kick it down, rescuing her but he knew he couldn’t.

“I see that you lost someone very important to you.” He pointed it out, going for the easiest approach, usually wasn’t hard to know what troubled people, they were too simple to read, always thinking they were good at hiding their emotions and thinking of him as a god for being able to read them like a cooking book. 

“I lost everything.” She quietly replied, Y/N never really opened up to anyone after the war, just brushing their concerns off and focusing on her work to suffocate those drowning feelings. “I lost my sister, the only person that truly loved me, I couldn't even say goodbye. I lost my way, I lost myself after she was gone, and I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to what I was.” 

Mantyx looked at her, the despair pungent on the tip of his tongue. The shadows in her eyes darkened as she frowned, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. He took a deep breath, feeling all of her negative emotions fill the void in his chest, he had to suppress a smirk at it, he fed from negative emotions, draining them and leaving the person numb. 

“You can’t ever go back, all you can do is keep  going and adapt to the change.” He offered and she scoffed. 

“I would give anything, do anything to get her back.” Mantyx approached her. It was like the light couldn’t reach it, being sucked into a black hole, not reflecting. If it wasn’t for his proximity she wouldn't even have noticed. 

But there it was, resting with an unsettling melody, the wyrd key that opened the gate atop Ramiel, what she needed to get home. She couldn't risk getting it just now, or else he would kill her and all of their efforts would be useless. 

“What if I told you that I can bring her back?” He offered and her eyes lifted from the key to his gold orbs. She never knew about the extent of the other Kings powers, if Erawan was that powerful she imagined how powerful Mantyx and Orcus would be.

“You can do it?” She inquired, doubt  started to coat her thoughts, she missed Asterin, what if she could see her one last time, or even better, get her back fully? 

“You just need to do me a simple favor in return.” She closed her eyes, that was the only way. She shook her head in agreement. 

“What do you need?” She opened her eyes, determination burning in that gaze. “I’ll do anything.” 

“Bring me Nesta Archeron.” He said and she nodded, Mantyx smiled. His hand extended towards the door that slowly opened to reveal the green island he lived in. “I’ll be waiting for your return.”

Y/N bowed to him, her eyes tracing the key that moved up and down with each breath he gave. She turned around, slowly walking outside, she could still feel his eyes on her when she crossed the bridge, so she didn’t dare to look to where she knew they would be, she kept walking forward until her frame disappeared from his line of sight. Just then she let out the breath she was holding. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Azriel and the others reached her halfway back to the Manor, she hadn't even noticed she had walked so much, her tensed muscles and shivering body were the only indications of the fear she had felt alone in that cabin. Azriel touched her arm, making her spin in her heels, collapsing against his chest. Shuddering breaths left her lips as she tried to calm herself. 

“Did he hurt you?” She shook her head and Azriel breathed with relief, his shadows moved around her in a protecting way, ready to strike at anyone who dared get too close to her. 

“We should go back, we don’t know what is lurking around in those woods.” Lucien advised, also worried about the fragile form that clung to Azriel for dear life. 

They all started to head back, being surprised by the giant wyvern baring his teeth at them, poison dripping from his fangs, he looked anxious, like he felt all of her distress through the connection he shared with his rider, and by the way she pushed Azriel out of the way, stumbling until her chest and forehead were pressed against his nose, he probably felt. 

Meraxes instantly relaxed with her touch, sniffing her scent and declaring she was alright. Y/N sobbed against him, her hands rubbing his leathery skin up and down, until she calmed herself down. 

“I’m okay, I promise.” She breathed and the wyvern nodded, giving one last look to the males before stepping aside and allowing their access to the house. She let go of him, following the rest of them inside, plopping herself on the couch. 

“Why did you go inside? You could be dead now.” Lucien slowly started, worry filled his voice, Y/N had become someone important to him and he couldn’t fathom the idea of her being killed by that damned monster. 

“We needed answers.” She simply replied, shrugging. 

“And did you get them?” Jurian asked, leaning against the wall that led to the kitchen. 

“His name is Mantyx, the middle brother of Erawan and Orcus, a Valg King.” She started, all of the males looked at her. “He was the one who summoned the ridderak that attacked me, he was after Nesta and her powers.”

“Does he have a key?” Azriel asked, his eyebrows furrowed as the engines in his brain worked.

“He carries it around his neck.” Lucien cursed loudly, how would they get it? 

“How did you get out?” Jurian once again asked all the right questions.

“I promised him that I would get Nesta.” Azriel's eyes widened. “I just needed to get out to tell you all this, chill.” She said to him, her blue eyes piercing him back in place and he didn’t dare to argue. 

“What do we do now?” Lucien inquired, rubbing his temples.

“I don’t know about you, but i’ll have a bath, i’m feeling disgusting.” She said getting up, leaving the males behind her. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Her chest ached as she sat in the scalding water, trying to rub all those feelings away from her, but it was useless. She then reached for the book Morrigan had found in the Hewn City, not having time to read it in the trip until now. She opened the book and focused on the fancy handwriting, allowing her brain to shut down from the real world and just pay attention to the words in those pages. 

“It was during the night that he came, talking with a sweet voice, promises of a better world and absolution to those who bowed to him and allowed his angels a home. The god of conquest was how they called him. 

He brought her, with dark hair and dark eyes, she feeded from life and used the remains to build weapons made of human bones. They called her The Weaver, and her twin, The Bone Carver, one more terrifying than the other. They weren’t angels, they were the gods of death, draining life from the earth and eating our souls. 

They talked about how lucky we were, claiming to be princes and princesses from their homeworld. No one knew how they came or where they came from, but all we knew was that it was all related to that necklace, made of a dark stone and with an unknown shape. They had come from the north, many guessed they were a plague sent by the Night Court to terrorise us, but even the High Lord feared them, he couldn't control them, no one could, so they took what they pleased. 

It was Celeste Vanserra, the Fireborn that brought us hope, the most powerful fire carrier the world has ever seen. She locked The Bone Carver with the help of the cauldron in the prison first. This made the fae wars easier, but their army was too big to be brought down, so they had to change their strategy. 

Divide and conquest is what they called it. They managed to separate The Weaver, and once again, with the help of the cauldron, Celeste and her fire locked Stryga in the woods, in a cabin no one dared to get close to. Whenever a general fell, their army fell with them. 

The High Lords followed Celeste to the battlefield, following her command and doing what she said. The final battle was in the lake, where Celeste used her powers to create a fire circle around Koschei and his monsters, trapping him inside, not knowing this was his biggest weakness, her fire was the only thing that could kill him. But before Celeste could, he killed her, piercing her heart with a sword.

The High Lords seeing their strongest fall, decided that they weren’t enough to kill Koschei, so they used the cauldron imbued by their powers to trap his soul to the island. As long as this world still exists, Koschei cannot be killed, his soul is bound to the Earth itself. Only the power of the cauldron or the fire of Celeste can free him from his prison and finally kill him.

With their failure to end the biggest threat our world has ever seen, they erased Celeste’s name from history. If no one remembered her, no one would remember how weak they were compared to Koschei. But her fire was still alive in the blood of her offspring, and the family Vanserra is the closest we have to a chance of killing him, unfortunately those who don’t learn their history tend to repeat it.”

Y/N gasped, the water already cold as she discarded the book and jumped out of the tub, opening the door to her and Azriel’s room. He sat on the bed, eyeing her up and down, following the droplets of water that ran down her curves, but her sombre expression brought his eyes back to her face, ignoring the temptation of looking down.

“What happened?” He asked and she took a deep breath.

“I know how to kill him.”

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

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#azriel #shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #moonlightazriel #night court #velaris #acotar #azriel shadowsinger #sarahjmaas #azriel acotar #azriel x oc #worlds apart fic

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

I’ve felt kind of off about my book recently, I’ve had a lot of rejection and I’ve started to think maybe I should just quit.

But then I think: what if one day it’s real? What if one day there is an actual book in the world, with a real cover and real pages and my name written on the real spine? And what if people read it? Maybe one day there’ll be people who want to keep it perfect, who don’t even want to crack the spines, who will lament over the slightest crease to the pretty pretty cover, who’ll keep their copy on a clean, beautiful shelf so pristine and perfect, who’ll share with the pages their favourite book mark with it’s pattern or it’s quote or it’s ribbon or the thousand other things that could make it special; maybe one day there’ll be people who will fold the pages, who’ll crack the spine, who’ll panic because they accidentally dropped it in the bath, who’ll underline their favourite quotes with their favourite pencil that they always have to tell themselves to stop chewing the end of; maybe one day there’ll be people who’ll put pen against the pages, who’ll draw stars and hearts in the margins, who’ll share their every thought on every page that was worth something enough to them to write on; maybe one day there’ll be people who’ll choose the perfect coloured tabs to match the cover, who’ll create a key, who’ll deem me worthy of their favourite highlighters, who’ll be able to look at the pages of their closed copy, run their fingers over those perfect coloured tabs, and see their thoughts as they read laid out before them; maybe one day there’ll be people who’ll borrow it from libraries, who’ll wipe dust from the cover, even if it’s slightly faded with time beneath the plastic sheath who’ll write their names on a card glued neatly into the front so they are part of it forever.

What if I am lucky enough to one day see a book that is not just my soul, but the souls of readers as well?

Keep writing my loves, keep writing 🖤

#i don’t want to give up on my book but sometimes it’s difficult you know? #I think maybe it wasn’t quite ready for submission yet and I forced it out early #I’ve been rejected from every agent I submitted to #but I love this book #it just wasn’t quite ready yet #that’s okay #there’s no deadline #I can edit it and work on it until it’s ready to be shared #and I’ll know that this was just a necessary step in the journey #writing motivation #writing a book #writing fantasy #fantasy writer #female writers #creative writing #writblr #writerblr #writer #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writer problems #writer stuff #writer things #writing books #booksbooksbooks #love books #writing #writing community #writers #writers and poets

[guessimwritingficsagain]

Kintsugi (the golden roses will bloom prettily in the space between your ribs)

Summary : You'd met Joel a year ago. Then you learn he and Tess are gone from the Boston QZ.

Warnings : Mature content, MDNI, rape attempt (not from Joel, though), pining, ANGST.

Tags : Just ask.

———

You hear it first in the whispers around the QZ. You see it, then, in the way your associates Matthew avoids looking you in the eye. You walk to the apartment and it’s like there’s a ticking sound, the countdown of a bomb. You knock, once, twice. Wait. Repeat the motion. Once, twice. Wait. 

There’s the sound of footsteps, then. Not familiar ones. And a voice that drawls :

‘You waistin’ your time, sweetheart. Didn’t you hear ? They gone.’

You don’t turn to look at the man. You get down the stairs and into the street. 

———

The way you see it, there are two kinds of memories living in your mind : the ones you hold on to, and the ones that won’t go away. 

What went down the day of the outbreak wakes you up at night. Ten years old, at school. The way little Timmy launched at Travis and bit him right in the throat. 

You mother always said that as a woman it was better to be a rose disguised as a sunflower. Be pretty, hide your spikes, but always be ready to strike. Draw blood. She was dead when you got home that day. 

Sometimes you think about that other memory. You have a lot of memories with Joel Miller, but there is one you hold on to. One that keeps you up at night, cunt and heart aching. The memory of fingers in your hair, as you’re not quite awake, on an old couch. It’s just that : fingers in your hair, scratching your scalp, and the heat of his thigh right next to your head. Fingers halting and warmth leaving right before the door opened and the voice of Tess announced ‘come on, we need to go’. Sometimes you think it was all a dream. 

You met Tess before you met Joel. She’d trusted you to smuggle some pills for her when things almost went south. Almost, because you were, ever since you had to kill your pal Katie by repeatedly beating her skull with a chair, your arms heavy and aching with effort, a rose disguised as a sunflower. Things almost went south but you played the dumb little girl act - almost thirty years old, you were, but you’d learned that men would believe anything as long as that belief made them think they could advantage of you. You smuggled the pills, put a knife through the throat of a FEDRA soldier, and ended up at Tess’ place with a bloody nose and a top half ripped-off. Except it wasn’t Tess’ place only, and that’s when you met Joel Miller, almost a year before today, before you hear ‘You waistin’ your time, sweetheart. Didn’t you hear ? They gone.’. 

Poetry lies in the cracks of things broken, except, at the end of the world, there is no sweet, gorgeous, shiny gold to mend what’s damaged. You’d read it in a book, once, became obsessed with it, too - Kintsugi. You’d wished you could do that - as a hobby. Wished you could take broken pottery and fix it with liquid gold. Wished you could take your heart, your ribs, your everything, and fix that too. 

When you entered Tess’ place that day and met Joel Miller, he took one look at you as Tess muttered Christ, kid, you okay ?

You were not a kid. You were almost thirty and when you were ten you had killed your friend Katie with a chair, and then Travis, and then you had gone home to find the corpse of your mother and when the world hit you, you’d hit back but also you wanted to fix pottery with shiny gold and-

And Joel Miller grabbed your jaw, gentle but firm, and his other hand grabbed your arm, sat you down, and cleaned up your bloody nose. 

That’s how you met Joel Miller. Tall, broad, manly. Precise, careful, in his movements, as Tess asked about what happened. And then Tess, to him

‘We can trust her, she’s basically a wallflower. Very useful if you want things to go quietly.’

Not a wallflower, a sunflower, you wanted to answer. I love beautiful things and I love the sun and I love when life shines. But a wallflower you were considered, and a wallflower you became. And neither Tess nor Joel took the time to see the sunflower behind the wallflower. Nor the rose with spikes hidden behind. 

And Tess put a gentle hand on Joel Miller’s shoulder, squeezed as they looked at each other and you knew. You knew that grip on your jaw, that focused gaze on your face were all you were going to get. You were not one to fool yourself.

A wallflower you’d remain. 

And Joel Miller’s name would be yours to say in the quiet of the night, fingers in your cunt, when the darkness makes the world outside disappear. 

Not quite liquid gold fixing the breaks between your ribs, but enough. 

———

They made sense, Joel and Tess. Tess was stern, face hardened by years of struggling - that made her beautiful in a way you would never be because you’d learned to hide that part of you. She was glorious. Determined, strong, assertive. 

One day you stopped before knocking at her door because you heard-

You heard. 

Even the way she moaned was beautiful. 

So you turned back, found a guy, and brought him back home. 

You woke up to a furious pounding on your door and watched Joel throw the guy out, pants barely covering his dick, shoes in his hands. 

‘Where were you last night ? Why didn’t you show up ?’

You couldn’t exactly said that you’d shown up to hear Tess being fucked into the mattress so you settled with 

‘I got distracted.’

His hand grabbed your jaw, his eyes intense. 

‘Don’t. Don’t ever do that again. Ever.’

You could have said it, then. Could have said that he didn’t seem so worried when his cock was buried in Tess’ cunt. Couldn’t have been bothered to show up before the morning after. You said nothing. 

A wallflower indeed. 

And now-

Now. 

Now it’s been two days since you felt Joel’s fingers in your hair, as you were sleeping in their apartment. Two days since he stopped and got up before Tess walked in and said ‘come on, we need to go’. Two days of whispers and glances and maybe after learning they were gone, knowing they left, maybe you got drunk, and maybe a FEDRA soldier put his hand where it didn’t belong and whispered in your ear : 

‘They’re gone now, you’re all alone, little girl.’

And maybe you slit his throat. Maybe you slit his throat and then cut his dick off, for good mesure. Nobody would know for sure, because when they found the corpse in the morning, you were long gone. 

And with you, you took nothing, except the bone-crushing knowledge that even at the end of the world, heartbreak is still what hurts the most - not killing Katie, not your dead mother, not the twenty years fighting for your life - and no amount of burning liquid gold will ever fix the empty space where your heart should be. 

But maybe, 

Maybe, you think, as you walk through green pastures on a way to a mythical place called Jackson, maybe, one can be a sunflower and a rose at the same time.

Maybe you’ll kill if you have to, and maybe, if Jackson is real, you’ll spend your time fixing pottery with- maybe not gold, but with yourself. 

But as you approach the gates of Jackson, arms raised, slowly, saying 

‘I don’t mean any harm.’

You make a promise to yourself. 

And that promise is shaken to its core when the man in front of you - warm, familiar eyes - introduces himself as Tommy, Tommy Miller. 

But you make a promise. 

A sunflower. 

A rose. 

You’re gonna fix all the goddamn vases in this place. 

The golden roses will bloom prettily in the space between your ribs, and you’ll let them be beautiful, and you’ll let them draw blood, too.

———

Taglist

@pedritobalmando @amidjarin @ajeff855 @justpedropascal @sara-alonso @sarahjkl82-blog @amidjarin @sara-alonso@justpedropasc@mrsbentallmadge @farfromjustordinary @hnt-escape @kirsteng42

#joel miller/reader #joel miller x reader

[holylulusworld]

Every breath you take (Prologue)

Summary: There is a shadow following you. He doesn’t know what he got himself into.

Pairing: Stalker!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: stalking, being stalked, loneliness, a man out of time

A/N: We start slow to get to know them and their backstory. In this part it's Bucky.

A/N2: You all made me do it! Here’s the series to this random idea: Stalker Bucky & Crazy Reader

Every Breath You Take Masterlist

James Buchanan Barnes lost so much in his life that he doesn’t even know how he keeps on going. 

He lost his family. 

He lost his life. 

He lost his arm.

He lost his freedom. 

He lost himself. 

He lost his best friend. Steve Rogers - the only person connecting his past with his present. The one promising him till the end of the line. Well, the line wasn’t very long he thinks ever so often.

He walks the streets in a place he doesn’t recognize anymore. In a world that is so different from the one he used to know.

Before Hydra everything was simple.

Now, strangers stare at him, whispering behind his back while others ignore him. 

Bucky is not the most social person. He mostly stays to himself. Who wants to befriend the former winter soldier anyway? 

In his opinion, it’s for the best to not even try. This doesn’t mean that he never feels lonely. He often strolls through town and watches people with their families.

Bucky wishes he could’ve someone by his side too. A woman who doesn’t judge him for his past, or for the issues he still has.

How does a super-soldier and former brainwashed killer find such a woman? 

No woman will ever let him protect and spoil her. That’s all he wants. Find a pretty doll to take care of.

“Coffee. Black,” Bucky gruffly tells the barista his order. All the different drinks on their menu confuse the super-soldier. Why drink an iced coffee with some crazy flavor if you can have the best drink in the world? Black coffee.

The barista smiles at him. Her cheeks dimple and she batts her long fake lashes when Bucky holds her gaze for a moment.

“Thanks,” he pays and tips her well. Bucky may be a lot of things, but he isn’t the kind of person who does not appreciate other people’s work.

“Have a good day,” the woman chirps when he turns around to leave the cafe. Bucky doesn’t react. He stops in his tracks as someone else catches his attention. 

“Doll,” Bucky gasps loudly. The woman passing the coffee shop by is the one he almost ran into last month. This must be fate. Right? 

He walks out of the coffee shop, to follow the woman. She’s greeting the elderly owner of the bookstore Bucky discovered a few weeks ago. 

The man immediately smiles and straightens his back. He makes a joke and calls her by her name. “Hello Y/N!” The man says and waves back.

“Y/N,” Bucky murmurs your name. “Wow…doll…” He’s taken aback. His heart sped up for a second seeing you again. Now that he has heard your voice, he wants it to be the only sound he’ll hear for the rest of his life.

He strolls past the bookstore and follows you along the street. Whenever you stop to look at the window display at the different stores you must pass by to reach your home, he stops too and pretends to be interested in the products he’ll never buy.

At the end of the street, Bucky tilts his head to watch you walk away. He’ll wait a little longer to follow you. The experienced super-soldier doesn’t want to draw attention toward him. He doesn't want to scare you off. All he wants is to get to know you better…

Right across the street. You live right across the street. 

Bucky’s heart did somersaults when he followed you to your home only to realize that you were living in the building across the street. 

He didn’t try to make friends or to get to know his neighbors. This way he missed that he could look inside your windows.

It’s five hours later that he’s sitting on a chair, in a dark room to watch you talk on the phone. You wrinkle your forehead and close your eyes.

“Hmm…I think she’s having a bad day, Alpine,” Bucky tells his cat while following your every move with his brand-new binoculars. “Maybe we should do something nice for her. Like finding out who made her sad…”

And just like that, Bucky has a new mission...

Part 1

Tags in reblog.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #tw: stalking #stalker!bucky barnes x reader #female reader #bucky barnes x you #Every breath you take (Prologue) #bucky barnes x y/n

[xbabyd0lli3x]

Hi, I have a request for a Spencer Reid fluff. After JJ confesses to him, his partner (preferably they/then) who works at the BAU finds out and is worried he will leave them due to believing they talk too much from friends outside of work telling them they are. If possible, could reader also have ADHD, it's ok if not. You can change anything you don't like or feel comfortable writing.

hi, this has been rotting in my inbox,srry but here

Spencer Reid sat at his desk in the BAU, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts as he went over case files. He felt a tap on his shoulder and looked up to see JJ standing there, a nervous look on her face.

"Spencer, can we talk?" she asked softly.

"Of course, JJ," Spencer replied, his brow furrowing with concern. He followed her to a quieter corner of the bullpen, where she took a deep breath before speaking.

"I need to tell you something," JJ began, her words hesitant. "I... I have feelings for you. More than just friendship."

Spencer's heart skipped a beat at her confession, his mind racing as he processed her words. He had harbored secret feelings for JJ for years, but he never imagined she felt the same way.

"JJ, I... I don't know what to say," Spencer stammered, his thoughts a jumble of emotions.

"I understand if you don't feel the same way," JJ said quickly, her eyes downcast. "I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore."

Spencer reached out and gently lifted her chin, meeting her gaze with his own. "I do feel the same way, JJ," he admitted softly. "I've felt it for a long time."

A smile spread across JJ's face, relief evident in her eyes. "Really?" she asked, her voice tinged with hope.

"Really," Spencer confirmed, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders as he spoke the truth.

As they stood there, lost in the moment, Spencer's partner approached, a concerned look on their face. They had overheard the conversation and couldn't help but feel a pang of insecurity.

"Spencer... JJ..." they began hesitantly, drawing the attention of the couple.

"Hey," Spencer said warmly, reaching out to them. "Come join us."

His partner hesitated for a moment before stepping closer, their expression a mix of apprehension and vulnerability.

"I couldn't help but overhear..." they started, their words trailing off uncertainly.

Spencer squeezed their hand reassuringly. "It's okay. JJ just told me how she feels."

His partner's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh... I see."

Spencer could sense their unease and immediately wanted to alleviate their worries.

"Hey, listen," he said earnestly, looking into their eyes. "I know you have ADHD, right? Sometimes my mind is all over the place, but that doesn't mean I can't focus on what's important. And what's important to me is you."

His partner's tense shoulders relaxed slightly at his words, a small smile tugging at the corners of their lips.

"I know," they replied softly. "It's just... hearing all those comments from our friends about how much I talk, I couldn't help but wonder..."

Spencer gently cupped their face in his hands, his gaze unwavering. "You're not just 'someone' to me," he said earnestly. "You're my partner, my confidant, my rock. And I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world."

Tears welled up in his partner's eyes as they leaned into his touch, feeling a rush of love and reassurance wash over them.

"Thank you, Spencer," they whispered, their voice filled with emotion.

Spencer smiled tenderly, pulling them into a warm embrace. In that moment, surrounded by the bustling activity of the BAU, they knew that no matter what challenges they faced, they would always have each other.

#strawberrytalks .⋆🪼⋆. ⭒ #spencer reid x reader

[senselessalchemist]

fancy dress(es)

#saroart #dead cells #the beheaded #the collector #sometimes i just wanna draw egregious folds and leg slits #and don't want to draw skulls #a problem when one of the few things you wang to draw consistently is the collector dead cells #and i usually just ignore several of the skulls in his uhhhh canon design but theres still at least two #anyway please forgive me #the heart wants (to draw) what the heart wants (to see in the world and no one else is gonna do it for me so i guess * rolls up sleeves *)

[yuttikkele]

I personally think pokemon trainer fans are more insane than the actual pokémon fans, but maybe I’m just making stuff up

#actual Pokémon fans are like: I bought all the merch of my favorite Pokémon and I draw them all the time… #…and their moves and puns are so much fun! and I love making variations of all the Pokémon and I’d love to have Pokémon in real life! #and trainer fans are like: hey meet this guy their name’s buttface I’ve put all my headcanons on them I have no clue what their… #…Pokémon even are I’ve never seen merch of them in a year they will be irrelevant I love them with all of my heart I want to see them go… #…through hardships and character development I want a show all about them I wonder how they would live in a world without Pokémon. #Pokémon #ack #text post

[martyrbat]

[ID: Batman flinging himself off a building and grappling through the air. His thought bubbles read, "For years I've hoped Harvey's good side would take over, once and for all... But I've begun to despair that will ever happen... This side of the grave." END ID]

[ID: Harvey Dent and Batman standing closely together and exchanging a quick talk as Harvey gets arrested by a cop. Batman's back is to the viewer but his head is turnt to look at Harvey. Harvey hesitantly requests, "Batman... Will you tell Gilda... Tell her what I did?" Batman promises, "I will, Harvey. Thank you." Harvey is surprised and asks, "For what?!" Batman tells him, "For giving me hope." END ID]

#you ever think about how people mock batmans belief in rehabilitation being possible and his no kill rule #when its literally something bruce clings to out of love and wanting to see the best for everyone #when literally everyone close to him would be labelled criminal. hell HE is a criminal by all means just his actions reflect HIS moral code #and where HE has to draw that line. #but its hypocritical to place him higher than the same ppl he stops and for him to not give them a chance to redeem themselves/do better #how he clung to that belief of harvey ever getting better and JUST NOW after he threathened babies with a shotgun and kidnapped them #thats what makes him START to doubt if he will. then harvey does the right thing and its that sign. that little spark of hope. #B is the world's greatest detective. hes smart hes intelligent thats literally his thing and how he as a man earned his seat amongst a #league of gods. but he leads so much with his heart and that CHANCE of hope. even if it seems impossible or irrational to try - #if theres even a single possibility? hes going to try. that goes for rehabilitation and for saving people and gotham and 'hopeless' cases #hes always going to try. hes always going to have hope because its what keeps him alive and he cant deny helping others if theres a chance #hope can be such a dangerous thing. but the alternative is ever more so. #bruharvey #bruce wayne #batman #two face #harvey dent #crypt's panels #c: batman: two face strikes twice! | i: 2.2

[myrfing]

sorry for low res images cause I took this from a playthrough video but. dolores dei and hydaelyn im connecting the dots

#not to say they are the same at all in both what the story wants them to be and who they actually are #AND in the type of stories they belong to but #same ideas taken to different ends #like i know why people who think venat is evil think she is because they see. THIS in her #i.e. holy figure whose unfair arrogance and alienness is wreathed in divine love #but while DE's entire concept of dolores dei exists for you to alienate everything you associate with it #hydaelyn draws you into her heart herself and is shown to be genuine/less holy than functional/aware of her fallibility #and operates in a 'but in the end i was not able to find a better way but you guys can' vs dolores'...influence being. totally ubiquitous #even centuries after her death. i always thought it was interesting how the people on hydaelyn tended not to really worship HER either #their deities are something else and the way they refer to Le Crystal is just different #meanwhile dolores dei is explicitly worshiped as a holy savior and the godking of the golden age #you can say hydaelyn also demands accordance rather than faith because she rewrote the laws of the world but. gesturing oddly #anyway. I can NEVER STOP TALKING about ever

[wereh0gz]

Ouuhhhghhg

What if. What if I put I'm with you in the animatic as the bgm. But edited it. To make it creepy and wrong

What if I did that

#ramblings #YOU GUYS HAVEN'T SEEN EVERYTHING I HAVE PLANNED OUT FOR IT YET #YOU HAVEN'T SEEN. WHAT I'M GOING TO DO TO SONIC #WHO HE'S GONNA SEE #OOOUHHHUHHGH #I WANT THIS ANIMATIC TO HURT. I WANT IT TO STAB PEOPLE RIGHT IN THE HEART WITH NO MERCY #FUCK i wanna draw more of it RIGHT NOW but i CAN'T #fucking school taking creative time away from me >:( #i have IDEAS and i MUST SHARE THEM WITH THE WORLD #FUCK

[self-shipper-snowdrop]

Looking through old fanfiction is a trip because, while it’s not great, it’s not exactly bad either.

BUT IT IS COMEDY GOLD

WHY WAS I SO FUNNY BACK THEN WTF

#I'm dying over the HS fanfic from back in the day good lordt #My OCs had no right to be so funny???? Like bro help why are they hilarious #Verdel Jivana... Cymbeline Faustus.... Cerys Bloodworth... oh how I missed you #ALSO I HAVE A MINECRAFT WORLD THAT LITERALLY IS JUST A MASSIVE HS REFERENCE #IM???? LOSING IT #IT HAS A LAB CALLED ''DRAWING DEAD LABS'' AND A MANUAL WRITTEN BY GUESS WHO #MY JADE-BLOODED TROLL OCS MAOPAI AND PULARI NICOHA #It's memory lane my dudes.... my heart; how she melts #It's cute though... like I can genuinely see how much fun I had #Also my One Punch Man fanfic from back then? It has an ''Ariel Needs Legs'' reference #My self insert literally says ''Saitama this is weird what do I do'' upon Speed o' Sound Sonic hitting on her and I cried laughing #But it also kinda makes me sad admittedly. #There are parts of that girl venting that makes me want to go back in time and hold her. Tell her she'll be okay. #ugh but I'm not gonna get sappy