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miras-ash · 10 months

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Chapter 9 of "Just as the stars love the night"

Mira's pov

"Liz? Lizzie!" Someone shouted from the other side of the large helicopter cargo bay and came walking quickly toward us. It was Hibana. She dropped to her knees beside me, gently took Eliza's face in her hands and stroked her cheeks with her thumbs.

With moisty eyes, she then looked at me.

"Why is she so cold? Why is she still unconscious? Mira what's happening to her?"

It was the first time in months that I saw her so upset and it made me anxious too. Thank God Doc came to the rescue.

"She's weak and Finka gave her an adrenaline boost to get her through, her body is exhausted. When we get to Nighthaven, we'll know more."

"Why Nighthaven? She has to go back home to us, right?"

Obviously Yumiko was a little out of it, or so it seemed so I took her in my arms to comfort her, that was something I had to remind myself lately, Yumi and Eliza were like sisters. Of course it was just as hard for her as it was for me. Even though I wanted to stay with Eliza, I trusted that she was safe so I took Hibana and sat with her a little further away. My arm around her shoulder, she leaned her head against mine and closed her eyes and I closed mine.

I really didn't want to fall asleep, but I was so damn tired.

When I woke up the last ones were packing up everything and leaving the helicopter. I rubbed my eyes and looked around, she was gone. I jumped up and ran, only to bump directly into Yumiko and Jordan.

"Where is she, where did they take her?"

I quickly tried to run past them but didn't get very far because they stopped me together.

"Mira you need to calm down, they took her to the infirmary right away, she's probably already in surgery. Remember she is in good hands. Gustave will take care of her himself and Nighthaven has fabulous doctors too. There's nothing you can do now anyway."

And that was the problem, I was once again powerless. Anyway, this was all my fault, if she hadn't left instead of me, I would be lying there now fighting for my life.

"That's not fair. She didn't deserve that."

Somewhat confused, they both looked at me.

"Of course not and that was never the point. She was just damn unlucky but at the same time incredibly lucky, after all she's still alive and back with us now."

Now it was up to Yumiko, she took me in her arms and hugged me tightly and it felt incredibly good.

Together we went inside where Ela was waiting for us, she led us to the common room which was a bit crowded because Nighthaven and Rainbow Operator met there together. What an unusual sight. Yesterday we were two rival almost enemy units and today we had worked and sat peacefully together.

We sat down at a free table and took off our still wet and cold armor. That would have to do, I would have plenty of time to change later. Someone handed out hot coffee and tea to everyone and small groups formed which now chatted boisterously with each other. Again and again, my old and new colleagues came by to inquire about me and wish me well, which drove me crazy and again and again I looked at the clock. Time passed so incredibly slowly.

Suddenly a small bright scream, startled I looked over to the door. Pulse was standing there, holding little Maho in his arms, who hurriedly came towards me and threw herself into my arms.

"Aunt Lena!!! We haven't seen each other for so long. Dad told me that you are here and also mom and Jordan and.... And then... And there are soooo many here!"

She barely managed to put it all into words. She jumped around on my lap and looked at me with big, shining eyes.

"And Dad said that Auntie Lizzie is here?! He said something really bad happened and that's why everyone thought she was gone forever but it was all just a big misunderstanding. He said she is really sick and she has to go to the doctor now."

It was all a bit much at once, I loved Maho but I was overwhelmed. How could I explain to a child what had happened? I could hardly handle it myself.

Yumiko probably saw what was going on and took her daughter in her arms.

"Hey baby, Aunt Lena is really tired. She's been on duty all day and is just waiting to see Auntie Lizzie and then it's off to bed for her. Speaking of bed... What are you doing here?"

Maho blushed and tried to avoid her mother's gaze.

"I was supposed to be sleeping, but I was so excited so I snuck past dad and when he caught me I said "please" until we got here."

Yumiko gave Jack a quick glance and then turned her attention back to Maho.

She's grown so much in the last few months and seeing her now brought out feelings of guilt in me. Only half a year ago she had been with us so often, stayed over, been on trips with us but after Eliza's supposed passing I had withdrawn too much, had no time left except for work. Damn it! Another thing I had screwed up.

The room emptied more and more from hour to hour. Meanwhile it became three o'clock in the morning and except the small kitchen radio it was quiet. Most of the people had already gone to bed, Kali had also provided rooms for her guests. After all her base was big enough.

Only she, Hibana and I were still there, waiting for something to happen. Another hour later, there was a knock on the door and a visibly exhausted Doc was standing there. I jumped up and went to meet him. The other two followed my lead.

I imagined the most horrible things, he would say she had not made it and that they had done everything but it had not been enough in the end. I felt dizzy, I had been awake for almost 30 hours now, apart from my little nap in the helicopter. I hadn't eaten anything since then either and the stress. I closed my eyes and tried to brace myself for the worst. Doc's voice just barely got through to me.

"It wasn't easy, but she'll survive."

#rainbow six siege #ash #r6 ash #tom clancy #eliza cohen #mira x ash #r6s mira #mira #ash x mira #mirash #r6 fanfiction #fanfiction

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nobrainerdubai · 1 year

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The Agonizing Reincarnation of Broken Warrior

Agonizing Reincarnation

And suddenly, I woke up, I guess, after million years, even though I wanted to, I was not able to open my eyes. It felt like they were sewed shut, I felt pain when I tried opening them but eventually, I did, it felt like molten lava struck my eyes. I was not able to see anything around, just bright, piercing light. It was hot, it was painful, I wanted to close my eyes but at the same time was anxious to know, where the hell I was. Strange beeps in my ears, coming from nowhere Very slowly, the pain started going away, and my surroundings started getting clearer. I was sitting on the pile of red sand, actually, half-buried. Never-ending desert all around me. Only one Joshua tree in the middle and a raven staring at my eyes, it seemed hungry. I tried to look away, but I don’t know why, I felt a bit reluctant, I felt I knew it somehow, or we had the same deranged fate I felt very tired and weak but tried standing up. My bones screamed like hell, my back crackled but I managed to stand straight. I looked around me, endless desert, a Joshua tree, and my hungry friend Suddenly, I felt a strange kind of emptiness in my stomach, and my throat was like a burning fire Maybe I haven’t eaten or drank anything for years I looked towards the south, I felt that I may find something there, well it was just a wild guess, but what else I could do. I took the first step and my body ached like a fired bullet shell. The raven flapped its wings, a bit of disappointment in its eyes. I started walking, slowly towards the south, I looked at my shoes, all dusty, and as I walked, dust was falling around from my clothes and shoes I walked and walked, a rattling sound struck my ears, but just moved away, a rattlesnake, maybe it was not expecting any other presence. I was powerless, drained, and broken, I was nowhere, I remembered nothing, nothing from the past, why I was there, where I had to go, what was the purpose of me? But still, the will to live was a bit strange But I was battling with the sun, so I had to give up, and fell face down on the sand I don't know how long I stayed that way until I felt sand in my mouth and a bit cold. I could hear the same freaking beeps in my ears but was not sure what was it. It was dark all around, seemed like the raven took over everything I was starving, I could've eaten anything at that time, my throat was killing me, I stood up again while my body ached as if I was struck by lightning I felt something in my pocket, I took it out, it was white paper soaked in water and sand all over, but I could see what was on it it was a drawing, a sketch made by, I guess, a small child. In the sketch, there was a woman, a man, and a small boy standing beside them And at the bottom of the paper in childish writing, there was a sentence that struck me, Me, My Mom, and My Dad! I was stunned, am I the dad? do I have a son? do I have a family? why don't I remember anything? What I am doing here? what is this place? My mind started collapsing, I could not remember anything, but somehow something inside me kept me moving Suddenly I felt a throbbing pain in my chest, an unsettling pain, I was going breathless, I tore open my shirt, maybe it would help me breathe, but no! I fell down to the ground again, from far, I could hear the beeps again, a sad but bone-chilling voice of a woman crying, I tried to look around but that throbbing pain Then suddenly, everything calmed down, my pain, the crying woman, the beeps... I was still on the ground, I turned around with my face towards the sky, what an emptiness, never have I seen such desolation. I could see the black sky above me, but no stars, moon, or clouds, not even a hint. Was, it a black sky or the eternal dark abyss, upside down? was I in it or it was in me? As I was aching in pain and staring out at the abyss, thousands of nasty insects started crawling on my body, I thought of jumping and throwing them off me, then I thought that maybe they were as devastated and desperate as me. Maybe my purpose was to satisfy their hunger and greed. At least I had a purpose now, I felt a bit satisfied. But....... the Raven...It needed me too I just closed my eyes, just tried to be numb from everything around me, and I succeeded, I felt like falling into my inner depths On my way down, I heard some cries, and some laughter, I saw a few images, of faceless people trying to drag me in or push me out They were talking to me in a mumbling voice, but I was not able to understand anything And the beeps got louder, somebody or something pushing my chest down, I was losing my breath. Who was that? why he or she was trying to kill me? or agonize me Like a flash of light, I woke up, my eyes now open, I could still hear the beeps but they were a bit calm. A man with a mask was bent over me, I could not see anything clearly but faded images, and then the man with the mask left the room There I saw a young boy with a red shirt smiling at me and a woman standing behind him, she was also smiling but with tears in her eyes. Now I could see a bit clearer It was a bit painful that I was not able to remember those people, maybe that was because of the agonizing experience I had. But, it felt like home I looked out the window, and on a tree nearby, I saw the same deranged RAVEN looking at me, waiting for me on the other side of the abyss Check out our article "Unique Romance between Geeks and Society" Read the full article

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drmmyrs · 3 years

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Remember Me (Becca x MC)

So, weird story. I was randomly browsing tumblr one time when this ask pops out at the top of the screen (req about amnesia au Becca’s POV). It wasn’t even related to anything I was reading but checked my inbox and it wasn’t there. Most probably the ask isn’t for me but still wrote it just in case 😅

PS if someone DID send me this ask, kindly drop me a message just so I know I’m not seeing things 😭

PPS I’m trying out a new writing style and I’m not sure if it’s any good so I’d really appreciate any feedback 🥺 (this will be a mini series too, I think, since the angst potential is definitely there 😂)

PPPS title is inspired from the song in Coco just cause I’ve been playing it a lot on piano recently

tag list: @whackawriting @samanthadalton @crazzyplays @uselesslesbianfr @baexpoppy @alexroyard @alexlabhont @veenast @noixngn @sillyandcutewizardstuffs (If you wanna be added or removed or just prefer a certain ship just let me know ❤️)

Pairing: Becca x MC (Emily)

Word Count: 2090

I don't remember what happened, nor know where I am, but I hear shouting, lots of it. I try to move, but my body feels completely numb; the only thing I can feel is the trickle of liquid that splatters across my face. Rain? I open my eyes strenuously, but all I can see past my blurry vision are brown eyes glistening with tears. I can't quite make out her face, but for some reason, seeing her cry sends a flurry of emotions that hurt more than my throbbing head. I try to open my mouth, hoping to provide comfort somehow, but no words come out. She is saying something over and over again, something about leaving? But my head hurts too much to be able to comprehend. A siren then blares from a distance, growing louder by the second as flashes of red cloud my vision. And that is when everything turns black.

I slowly open my eyes–still reeling from the nightmare that somehow felt too real–and harsh, blinding lights immediately greet me. I hastily shut my eyes back and suddenly become well aware of the ache engulfing my entire body. It isn't before long that I realize that someone is holding my hand, tracing lazy circles against my skin ever so often. I try to move it but only manage to lift a finger, and at once, the grip tightens and becomes still for a moment before I hear a voice– How can a voice sound so familiar... yet so strange? It's saying my name, urgent and gentle at the same time as though I might break at any second. I try to open my eyes, but exhaustion grips me powerless. And soon, I succumb to its fiery grasp as I slip back into slumber.

When I wake up again, I already feel much stronger than before. The ache in my body has turned into a dull hum as if sharp nails are gently caressing my skin, enough to be felt but not to hurt. I look around the room, panic swelling in my chest as I take in the sight of different medical equipment looming around my bed and needles sticking out of my arm. I fight the urge to squirm as I take big, calming breaths, ignoring how the four white walls seem to close in on me. Thankfully, the door opens, and a nurse walks in, temporarily distracting me from my distress. She smiles upon seeing me awake and walks towards me.

"Welcome back, Ms. Davenport. How are you feeling?"

"W–where am I?" I ask weakly.

"In the hospital. A month ago, you were involved in a car crash, and your head was hurt pretty badly," the nurse says sympathetically. She is now taking my vitals, scribbling something on her chart from time to time.

Car crash?

I scrunch my eyes, trying to remember, but the harder I try, the more my head hurts.

"Wait. A month? Are you saying that I've been here... for a month?"

The nurse nods. "You've been unconscious the entire time. But your vitals now are looking good. The doctor will just run a few tests to make sure we don't miss anything."

I stay quiet for a while, my mind still processing everything the nurse just said, which has only raised new questions.

"Your friends and family were really worried about you, you know. There wasn't a day when you didn't have any visitors. Especially that special friend of yours you were in the car with." The nurse turns towards me, holding a pen against her chin. "What was her name? Em–Emma, I think? She barely left your side. She actually just went to grab some food before you woke up."

...I don't know any Emma, but I don't tell her that.

"What about my parents?"

"Your mom and sister usually visit during the evening."

"And my father?"

The nurse shakes her head. "I don't think I've ever seen your father."

The nurse leaves after a while, and the doctor comes inside the room shortly. I answer a few questions before I'm escorted outside to take some tests. Afterward, the nurse leads me back to my room and gently guides me to bed.

"Would you like me to call in your visitors?" the nurse asks.

I nod.

The nurse goes out, and soon my mom walks in followed by–

"Emily." I frown. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Both of them stop in their tracks. My mom looks at me in concern and confusion, while Emily looks like I just punched her in the gut.

Anger bubbles up inside me as a realization comes to mind. "Y–you. You're the one who did this, aren't you? You're the reason I'm here."

A guilty look flickers across her face, confirming my suspicions. And before I can stop myself, I shout at her to leave, but she stands there motionless, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Go get the doctor," my mom tells her, which snaps her out of her shock. She scurries out of the room at the same time my mom starts walking towards me.

"Why is she here, Mom?"

My mom stops at the side of the bed and reaches out to stroke my hair. "Honey, the accident was not her fault."

"But she was there with me..."

"Yes."

"Why?"

My mom's hand goes still, resting on top of my head. "Becca, what was the last thing you remember?"

"I..." I close my eyes and think hard for a moment. "I–I remember hosting the Kappa party. But that doesn't make any sense. Why would I leave with Emily?"

A brief look of panic flashes across her eyes.

"Mom? What's wrong?"

My mom smiles at me, but it looks forced. "It's nothing, sweetie. The doctor will be here soon."

But I can see that she's trying her best to keep calm–the look on her face similar to when she would talk to my little sister and me right after we would hear her and dad fight.

The doctor comes in a little while later, asking a bunch of questions similar to my mom's. They then do more tests on me, and I grow scared by the minute, not understanding what the hell is going on. Eventually, I'm back in my room alone, my mom and the doctor staying outside to talk. After some time, they enter the room, and my mom sits beside me, taking my hand as the doctor walks towards the other side of the bed.

I look at my mom, drained from all the medical tests I went through the entire day. "What's happening, Mom? I'm scared."

My mom squeezes my hand and gives me a reassuring smile. "The doctor will explain it to you, sweetie. But I'll be right here the whole time." She then gives a single nod to the doctor.

The doctor smiles at me politely. "How are you feeling, Becca?"

I stare at him, suddenly annoyed at being asked the same question over and over again.

"Right then." The doctor clears his throat. "During the accident, your brain was affected more than we initially thought." He pauses, and I meet his gaze, willing him to go straight to the point. "It seems like you have retrograde amnesia, meaning that you have no memory of the past three years of your life."

The doctor goes on and on about the technicalities, but I'm not listening anymore. His voice is reduced to background noise as I repeat his words inside my head, trying to grasp the implications of what he just said. I prop myself up, looking wildly around the room, tugging at my shirt as if it would help me breathe. But it doesn't. My body feels numb, which is why I almost don't notice my mom pulling me into a tight hug, stroking my back comfortingly as she whispers reassurances. I focus on her voice, forcing myself to take deep breaths as I slowly begin to calm down. I pull away after some time, recomposing myself as I find my voice.

"Three years," I whisper.

"We'll help you recover your memories, honey. But for now, you can ask me anything you like."

"I–I think I just need some rest."

My mom nods, helping me settle back in bed before she leaves, promising to be back tomorrow.

Sleep comes easy to me, and I wake up the next day with Madison sitting at the chair next to my bed, browsing her phone.

"Hey, Maddie."

She looks up from her phone, a smile lighting up her face before she practically jumps out of her chair to hug me. "Becca!"

"Ow, that... kinda hurts."

When she pulls away from me, her eyes are teary.

"Sorry, I just missed you so much. You were gone for so long! I thought–"

"Hey, hey, none of that," I say, smiling at her.

She pulls the chair closer to my bed and sits down. "How are you, Becca? Your mom told me about your... condition."

I stare at the ceiling. "Yeah, it sucks." I snap my head back to her. "Tell me something. Do we still hang out a lot?"

"We still meet up from time to time. Not as much as we used to, though," Madison says, smiling sadly.

I nod. "Who do I usually hang out with now?"

"Emily."

I furrow my eyebrows. "Did we become close friends or something?"

"Oh, right. You've only been together for like two years," Madison murmurs contemplatively. "She's your girlfriend, Becca."

I let the information sink in. "You have got to be kidding me." I stare at her wide-eyed. "How–What–Why?"

Madison recounts our 'love story,' each detail more absurd than the last. I don't want to believe any of it, but Emily as my girlfriend... it actually explains everything. I rub my temples. How the hell did that happen? I remember like it was yesterday when she tried to steal Chris away from me. And now... and now...

"Maddie? Can you do me a favor and grab me something to eat? I'm starving."

Madison smiles. "Of course."

Madison goes out in a while, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

***

After a few more days of recovery, I am finally allowed to leave the hospital. Despite my protests, my mom explains that I will have to stay with Emily and her friends at what I assume has been my home for the past two years. She explains that she prefers for someone to look after me constantly, and she will not be able to do that with her job and all.

Outside the hospital, I find Emily waiting near a car; her eyes are bloodshot, as if she hasn't slept a wink in days. When she sees me approaching, her face immediately brightens up. Our gazes lock briefly before I turn back to my mom.

"Are you sure I can't stay with you?"

My mom smiles sadly. "I'm sorry, honey. I wish you could, but..."

"It's okay, I understand."

"Look, I know you don't remember, but these people you've been living with... they care about you very much.”

I nod.

My mom pulls me into a hug before guiding me inside the car, shutting the door afterward. She and Emily talk for a brief moment outside, and I watch as she hugs Emily before walking away. Emily steps into the passenger seat.

Zack, who is sitting in the driver's seat, turns around and smiles at me warmly. "I'm glad you're back."

I shift uncomfortably, ignoring his gaze. "Thanks."

We drive home silently, awkwardness saturating the car space. Upon arriving, I observe the details of the house, seeing if it sparks any memories... but nothing. I see Emily looking at me intently, probably thinking the same thing. They then lead me inside the house, and I step in hesitantly, taking in the surroundings, which vary immensely from the sorority house, the last place I lived based on my memories. Emily guides me to my room, lingering near me as I open the door.

"Becca–"

I turn towards her. "Please don't. I know you think I'm your girlfriend. A–and I guess I was. But as far as I remember, I don't like you at all. So I would appreciate it if you just leave me alone." I turn around and go inside my room, shutting the door behind me. I then lie on the bed, trying to forget how the light dimmed out of Emily's eyes as I broke her heart.

#becca #becca davenport #rebecca davenport #becca x mc #the freshman series #the freshman #the sophomore #the junior #the senior #playchoices #play choices #my work #my fanfics #my writing #request??

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like-a-bag-of-potatoes · 3 years

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Playing With Fire - Mrs. Andrews

A/N: So this is my first crack at Chicago fire fanfiction, so don't judge too hard, alright? This will unfold from the beginning of season three, so if you haven't watched it yet, but plan to; SPOILER ALERT! I tried to follow along with the storyline of the show, but some things have been changed. Shout out to my superawesome beta @thorne93, you rock!

A/N 2: Just one more part after this, guys. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this, been patient with my very flimsy posting schedule, and to those who has showed me love throughout this series. You are all AMAZING!

Fandom: Chicago Fire

Pairing: Kelly Severide x Beth (OFC)

Warnings: None I think

Wordcount: 2225

MASTERLIST

A million thanks to @campingmonkey for making this GIF for me on request. You’re the best!

Kelly didn't really understand what was happening when his alarm went off at 4am. He was ready to roll around and continue his sleep when he remembered why he had set his alarm in the first place. He basically rolled himself off the couch with a groan and padded his way to Beth's room.

Nightmares plagued Beth's sleep. Over and over again she saw that car coming towards her in slow motion. A loud crash, followed by Alex running away, and then she was all alone. No help ever came. When Kelly gently nudged her arm, she jerked awake.

“Sorry,” he whispered as Beth sat up in her bed.

“No, it's okay,” she said, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands.

Kelly sat on the edge of her bed, concern etched into his handsome face as he placed a hand on her knee. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I'm fine. Just a bad dream.”

“Want to talk about it?” he asked.

"I don't remember what it was,” she lied.

“Alright.” He gave her knee a firm squeeze. “Try and get some more rest. I'm right in there if you need me,” he reminded as he got to his feet again. He was just about to go back to the living room when a small, gentle hand closed around his wrist. He looked down to where their hands connected before he let his eyes meet hers.

It took a second for her to find her voice. “Can you stay here with me?”

She sounded so vulnerable, so broken, that Kelly was powerless to deny her anything. He nodded his head without saying a word and Beth moved over to make room for him before he climbed in. Neither of them spoke as Beth reached down and laced their fingers together, resting her head on his shoulder. Kelly kissed her hair and whispered a goodnight, and before long, Beth had drifted off to sleep again. Kelly on the other hand, didn't want to sleep right away, he wanted to stay awake a little and just enjoy the moment. It was nice to have her so close again, to feel her hand in his as he listened to her heavy, sleep filled breaths. Yes, he definitely needed to savor this moment for as long as he possibly could.

Beth woke up alone the next morning. Kelly had woken up at eight that morning, but he didn't have the heart to wake her up, so he had let her sleep. It was nearly an hour later when Beth came padding into the kitchen, her hair sticking out to all odds and end, her eyes still filled with sleep.

“Morning,” Kelly greeted, flashing her that charming smile of his. One thing he had learned about her was that she wasn't human until she had her morning coffee, so as soon as he saw her, he started getting a cup ready for her.

“Morning,” she greeted back, sending him a smile as he handed her the mug. She took a deep breath before she spoke. “Thank you for staying with me,” she said softly.

“Don't mention it,” he said kindly as they both took a seat at her table. “You remember what you were dreaming?”

“Just the accident,” she said, not looking up at him. “Apparently my brain thought it would be fun to play it on a loop in slow motion.”

“Are you okay?” he asked again, worrying his brows.

“I promise.”

“Can I ask you something?” he asked tentatively and Beth answered with a nod. “You said you’re claustrophobic,” he started.

“Mhm..”

“Does that have anything to do with why you left NYFD?”

Beth sighed and put her cup on the table. “It was a building collapse,” she started. “My partner and I got trapped with a patient we were trying to save. The patient died on impact, and my partner was badly injured. We were stuck there for nearly eleven hours,” she said with pain in her voice.

“I'm sorry, Beth,” he said, reaching out to give her hand a comforting squeeze. “How’s your partner?”

“He didn't make it.” A tear fell from her eye and she wiped it away. “My leg was pinned under some rubble and I couldn't get to him. So I just had to sit there and watch him die,” she sniffled at the memory.

Kelly got up from his seat and rounded the table, crouching down in front of her. It wasn't hard to understand why she had reacted the way she did when she got pinned in that car. He didn't know what to say to her, so he just reached up and cupped her cheek.

She melted into his touch, taking the comfort it provided. “I tried to go back after my leg had healed up, but I couldn't do the job anymore. Claustrophobia and panic attacks don't really go hand in hand with being a paramedic.”

“But it's getting better?” he wondered.

“Yeah, I'm getting there. I guess being stuck in that car- just a little too familiar I guess.”

Kelly didn't quite know what else to say, so he opted to give her a hug instead, trying to provide her with a little comfort. He knew as well as anyone what this job could be like, and he had seen how it could change people. The fact that Beth had left it behind after her injuries didn't make him think any less of her, to the contrary. It took strength to walk away from something you loved, to admit that it might have changed for you.

Beth sniffled into his shoulder, appreciating the gesture. She was about to say something more to him, but before she could, a knock on the door interrupted her, and pulled them apart.

“It's probably just Gabby checking in,” she said as she got to her feet. “You mind? I'm gonna go put some pants on.”

Kelly just nodded and went to open the door. He was expecting Gabby, or anyone else from 51, but he didn't recognise the woman on the other side of the door.

“Who are you?” she asked in a demanding tone.

Beth froze as she heard the familiar voice, instantly turning on her heel to go save Kelly.

“Mom! What are you doing here?”

She didn't answer, just looked Beth up and down with a disapproving look on her face while Kelly seemed as though he was a deer stuck in headlights.

“You know why I'm here,” mom countered, “You gonna let me in?”

‘No’ Beth thought to herself, but Kelly stepped aside to let the woman in. She pushed past them both, leaving her luggage in the hallway. Beth grabbed the suitcase and wheeled it inside before following her mom.

“It's smaller than I imagined,” she criticised as she looked around the apartment. When her eyes landed on her daughter, her hard features softened and she reached out to give Beth a hug. “I was so worried about you.”

Kelly came up to introduce himself. “It's nice to meet you Mrs. Andrews,” he said politely.

“So you’re Beth's friend?” she quizzed, actually making quotation marks around the word friend.

“Oh my god,” Beth exclaimed, hiding her face in her hands. “He's just a friend,” she pressed, pointing to the couch that was still made up.

“You always walk around half naked when you have friends over?”

“I just got out of bed, mom. And I've definitely not had enough coffee for this,” she added that last part under her breath.

“Have you eaten yet, or should I make something for you real quick?” She was already heading for the fridge.

And just like that Beth felt like she was fourteen years old again. “I don't have time for food mom, I have an appointment at the hospital.”

“Oh good. I wanted to talk to your doctor,” she chirped.

“No, mom. You don't have to come. Kelly is gonna give me a lift.”

“Nonsense. I'm here now. There's no need to put him out anymore,” Mrs. Andrews said sweetly, sending Kelly a tightlipped smile.

“No one is putting me out,” Kelly said politely. “I don't mind taking you both if that's alright?” he offered.

“Excuse us for a moment,” Beth said, taking Kelly by the arm and dragging him away. “I am so sorry about this,” she said with wide eyes. “I really didn't think she would just show up like this.”

“It's okay,” Kelly said with a chuckle.

“You should just go. Save yourself,” she suggested.

“I'm a big boy, Beth. I can take it,” he noted. “Besides, how bad can she be?”

“You’re gonna regret those words, Lieutenant.”

***

At least there weren't any awkward silences with Beth's mom around. There was a constant flow of words coming out of her mouth. Everything from complaining about the cold Chicago winter, to gossiping about neighbours back in New York, to bragging about Beth's brothers and their recent accomplishments. By the time Kelly pulled his car up to Beth's apartment, his ears were practically bleeding, and he was definitely excited about dropping them off. Beth on the other hand, was so embarrassed that she didn't have words.

She gave her mom the keys to her apartment and told her she'd be right in.

“Bet you regret not bailing when you had the chance,” Beth noted as soon as mom had disappeared through the front door.

“Just a tad,” he chuckled.

“I'm really sorry about all this. Is there any way I can make it up to you?”

He just shrugged it off. “So, what are your plans now that you have a clean bill of health?” he wondered, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“I don't know. Guess I have to ask my mom,” she joked, making Kelly laugh. Just then, Mrs Andrews stuck her head out the door and yelled something about them catching the flu if they stayed out there in the cold. Beth rolled her eyes and said she'd be right in. “You and Gabby be careful today, alright?” Kelly just bobbed his head. “I hope you find some answers.”

“Me too.” He closed the gap between them and placed a chaste kiss to her forehead before he started making his way around the car again.

“I'm here if you want to talk,” she called out just as he was about to get in.

“I'll keep that in mind,” he said with a smile. And with that he got back in his car and drove away.

Beth watched him until he turned the corner and then she took a deep breath to gather some strength before she headed back inside.

***

The next day was unbelievably cold, to the point that Chicago had issued a state of weather emergency and urged everyone to stay inside. Kelly tried to get out of his car, but didn't get very far before he sat back in and closed the door. He looked around for anything he could use to shield him from the cold during the short walk from his car and to the firehouse. A sweatshirt lay in the back seat, so he threw it on like a scarf and ran inside.

“Wow!” he exclaimed as he came through the door and almost ran into Tony.

“Pretty brutal out there today,” Tony noted.

“Yeah. I just saw a penguin. Crying,” Kelly joked.

Because of the weather emergency, everyone at the station knew that it was going to be a busy day. To top it all off, radio communication was down and the ambulance had starting issues. Kelly was in a good mood though. They had finally learned the truth about Shay’s death, and he really felt like that brought a little closure. His already good mood improved as Beth came through the door, carrying two full grocery bags.

Dawson greeted her first, taking one of the bags off of her hands. “What are you doing here? Didn't you catch the part about staying home?”

“I heard something about that on the radio on my way here. About the same time as I passed a crying penguin,” she joked.

Gabby looked from Beth to Kelly, chuckling as she shook her head. “Peas in a pod,” she muttered under her breath.

Beth turned to Kelly with a confused look on her face. “I made that same joke not ten minutes ago,” he explained, taking the other bag from her hands. “What are you doing here?”

“To make soup… and get away from my mom. Figured you'd all be pretty busy today, and cold, so.”

“I'm sure everyone will appreciate it,” he noted as they made their way to the kitchen. “How long is she staying?”

“I have no clue,” Beth said with a deep sigh. “She doesn't have a return flight and she keeps changing the subject everytime I ask. I hope soon though. She's taken over my entire apartment… even rearranged my cupboards - twice.”

“Wow.”

“Right!? I literally snuck out while she was in the shower.”

“And how many times has she called since then?”

“Just four. I call that improvement.”

Gabby came rushing through the doors, panic written all over her face, a small baby in her arms. “Someone just left her under the Safe Haven sign,” she breathed out.

“What?” Beth exclaimed as she hurried over. “People actually do that?”

Tags: @campingmonkey @deansgirl215 @thevelvetseries @graniairish

#Chicago Fire #chicago fire fanfic #chicago fire fanfiction #Kelly Severide #kelly severide fanfic #kelly severide fanfiction #kelly severide x reader #kelly severide series #kelly severide angst #kelly severide fluff

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spideyanakin · 3 years

Text

Far From Home - Part 4

Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis; Coming from another reality yourself, what will happen when you see straight through the lies of the mysterious Quentin Beck.

Series Masterlist 🍒

Normal Masterlist 🧚🏻‍♀️

"Sweety, can you run to the store please?" Your mother's voice echoed in your ears as you fixed your hair in the mirror.

"Sure mom." you smiled as you grabbed your purse from the counter and headed out the door.

The warm summer breeze brushed against your skin as you walked along the long streets of your city, the perfect setting settling an unsure feeling down your stomach. The more you walked the weirder it felt. The air was closing inside your lungs settling even more insecurity in you.

You looked around the aisles of the supermarket, the feelings slowly coming up to your head making you feel dizzy. You hanged onto your cart as you tried making your way a little quicker through the different foods. Grabbing onto your cereal box the air suddenly became even more unbearable to breathe, causing you to use your powers as help.

The bubble of clean air you'd made yourself made you gain back your strength, making you scan around the shop for clues.

The people seemed as though they were normal, some of them seemed more tired than others but what alarmed you was the suddenly high pitch noise that rang through the room causing every single person to collapse.

You walked between the aisles in a hurry finally reaching for the blue sky. Instead of finding the beautiful scenery you'd find before, you found a blue sky that was turning darker by the second and the air being so heavy it could crush you.

An evil laugh rang through your planet, making you turn your eyes to every corner of the sky. You ran away to Kayland's house, trying your best to keep the air bubble stable as you felt the air around you almost close.

"Kayland!" You screamed his name, running around his house in a fury before you found him unconscious laying on the ground. You screamed in panic, tears running down your eyes as you used your last piece of strength to fill his lungs with air.

"C'mon stable breaths." You cried out as he breathed, sharing the air bubble that you had extended.

"What's happening." He opened his eyes and closed them again as all he felt was dizziness.

"I think they're removing the air from the atmosphere." You cried out before you turned around on yourself in panic, Kayland taking you in his arms for comfort, trying to take his breath again for himself.

"What are we going to do?" You cried out as you already knew you weren't strong enough to bring all the air back.

"I don't know." Kyland's voice appeared like it was real, waking you up from your dream.

But to your surprise, it was like the events were all happening again.

You were in a same looking place as Kylands townhouse, and it seemed as though he was standing right in front of you.

"Kyland?" You questioned and he smiled.

"Yes?"

"Where are we?" You questioned as everything felt similar. A giant deja-vue. Every little detail being as though you woke up in your own dream.

Suddenly, just like that day back in your reality; a comet look-alike came crashing down, making the integrity of your earth tremble and start burning.

You screamed, maybe even still thinking you were dreaming before quickly trying to get up, but failing. The only problem being; you were tied to a chair.

"Kyland!" you screamed as you tried to move up and down. "Help me!" You screamed tears of pain but instead of being any help Kyland suddenly disappeared and the whole room changed. You now face to face with him in your old room. You took a few seconds to look around, instantly missing it.

Everything was the same to the detail. From the pictures on the wall to the paper lamp on the ceiling. The wooden desk that was always messy, filled with colorful useless things and a large pile of homework that just peacefully took the dust in a corner.

Then your stare went back to Kyland.

He was dressed completely differently, his outfit being normal. Something you hadn't seen on him in a while. He was wearing a navy blue shirt, with his favorite pair of jeans that reflected his crystal blue eyes. You took a second to watch him in his normal clothes for once, the moment making you breathless as it had been years since he hadn't worn anything but his reality keeper clothes.

"Here." He gave you a small smile as he turned the knife he had in his hand, freeing you from your ropes.

"Where are we?" You took a second to admire his freckled and then coming back up to his diamond eyes that were full of worry.

"Your room?" He chuckled with a saddened tone.

"I know that look." You pointed it. "This is the day you-" You breathed out before taking a long look around. "How is this possible?" You asked and he gave you a confused look before making you sit on your bed.

"You sure you're alright?" He questioned lingering his hand on your shoulders.

"No" You shook your head as everything was perfectly resembling your old reality. "I'm dreaming- I- I must be" You almost screamed as you lost your mind.

"Y/n, please. This isn't a dream." He sighed making you sit on your bed again. "I don't know what's wrong with you but I have to tell you something." He sighed and your eye went wide as every word from the past part of his sentence matched the real event.

"You're gay, I know!" You almost screamed as you were losing your mind.

"What? How did you know? You're not- You're not mad?" He went from confused to concerned in seconds.

"Kayland... I don't know how or where we are." You pointed to the ground. "But you told me this almost 3 years ago. Yes. I was devasted, back then, but I moved on." You chuckled in disbelief. "I told you I'd never love anyone as much as I loved you, you told me that it wasn't true and that I'd fall head over heels for a nice straight boy?" He pinched the rim of your nose as all he was showing was confusion. "Remember? And I still call it the day you broke my heart? My nickname for you is my soulmate? And I have moved on?" You smiled as you thought of Peter, somehow forgiving Peter for everything. "I have a boyfriend? Peter?" You tried to add some sense into the situation but nothing seemed to work as he looked at you with a blank stare. "A year after this and our reality burned to ashes?" You were almost about to cry. "You became a reality keeper a little before?" You were about to throw something at him as he scratched the tanned skin on his arm as he tried to make sense out of what you were saying.

"C'MON!" you screamed. "Kyland please remember." You hugged him as tight as you could. "This isn't real." You sniffed. "Where are we?" You cried and he wrapped his arms around you.

"You still love me?" He questioned with a small voice.

"Of course I do." You cried. "You're the love of my life Kyland. You're my best friend, you're my brother."

"I thought Peter was the love of your life?" He asked and you didn't think anything of his words as you answered his question.

"Yes." You chuckled. "He's the love of my life, but you're also the love of my life. You're the platonic love of my life." You sniffed as Mysterio got exactly what he wanted from you.

"Alright now make him die." He whispered in his tech guy's ear, the man nodding and clicking on a few buttons.

Kyland suddenly choked, making you pull away from him in panic.

"Kyland?" You wondered and suddenly saw blood staining his shirt your breath picking up pace. "Kyland what happened?" You sniffed, tears uncontrollably falling down your eyes as you watch him die in your arms.

Before you knew it the whole room disappeared in a cloud of purple and green smoke. You screamed his name and took a second to look around.

"So he's the reality keeper friend?" Mysterio's voice echoed through the room, making you turn around to spot whoever was speaking. "Interesting"

"Mysterio" You realized as the pieces of the puzzle came together.

"I got just what I needed." He let out a wicked laugh making you scream even louder.

"Why are you doing this!?" You screamed angrily wiping the tears away with the back of your hand.

"Don't you see?" His voice echoed as you tried to get away from trees suddenly popping out of the floor. "You were powerless." You suddenly turned around and spotted the faces of your loved ones on the trees. "You couldn't save them." His words made you cry. "They thought you could though." He chuckled and the more the trees popped out of the ground, the more faces of your lost ones haunted you. "So it's a little bit like me." You tried to run away but you were brutally stopped by a statue of Peter. "I make the attacks. Save everyone, and they praise me."

You turned around trying to leave once again but something caught your leg, making you fall. You screamed as you watched the one monster that had destroyed your universe drag you. You closed your eyes and tried to breathe as you tried hanging onto the floor, making vines for support but nothing worked, you were dragged like the wind would make a paper bag fly.

Suddenly the ground disappeared and your entire body was dangling in the air. You hanged on tight, not knowing how deep the fall would be if you let go, or where you'd even land.

"Peter!" You screamed as you saw him walk right above you, trying your best to raise your hand to him. "Peter help" You cried, not knowing if it was really him. He grabbed your hand wickedly smiling as he did. Once you were almost up, he pushed you the look on your face priceless to Mysterio.

You screamed controlling the air to make sure you wouldn't hurt yourself. To your surprise, you fell barely a meter from where you were dangling. Taking a large breath to calm your nerves, trying to feel everything that was around you.

You closed your eyes laying on the floor, and heard talking but didn't feel anything in the air, but small flying objects. 'Drones' you thought not daring to whisper it. You focused on them your eyes still closed, twisting the winds so fast and so strong that you made them fly to the ceiling.

"NO! No! No! No! She can't do that! My drones!" Mysterio punched the table making everything on it jump

"Technically they're Stark's drones" a man added from the back of the room, making Mysterio take the commands and pointing a drone right at him

"Say that again." He grumbled as his face became red with anger.

"Your drones Sir-" Jerry replied in terror as he took refuge in the other room when the drone wasn't pointing to him anymore.

"What will you do about the girl?" John; his head of security wondered and Mysterio sharply snapped his head towards him, being inches away from the man.

"I'll take care of it." With the snap of his fingers, he suited up and opened the door that led to the test room.

He angrily shoved the door open making you jump. You opened your eyes to reveal a grey bright lit room.

"What do you want with me?"

"Where do you think you're going?" MJ took Peter red-handed as he walked towards your room to make amends.

"Apologising-" he pointed towards your door with a tight-lipped smile.

"Well if she's not with you then she isn't in her room." She gave him back his tight-lipped smile.

"What? She isn't in her room?" Peter asked a little surprise in his tone.

"No, I've been waiting for her. She even gave me a spare key just in case" MJ dangled your room card in front of Peter's face as light worry settled in both their stomachs, Peters worries being a little more obvious.

"Well did you check her room!?" He exclaimed.

"Yes, dummy. When she didn't answer her room after she texted me she was coming back. Thought she was with you!"

"She isn't with me."

"Well, I can see that!" MJ snapped back before thinking of something. "Let's check again, although I didn't see her walk-in" She walked towards your door and knocked waiting for an answer, but nothing.

"Y/n?" She waited a few seconds before calling your name again. But when you didn't answer after another call she opened the door to reveal an empty room.

"She didn't get back," Peter mumbled. "Something happened." He mumbled in fear and MJ quickly stopped him as he was about to run away.

"I need to show you something first, I think it might help you." Peter looked at her a little confused as MJ slipped into her room and got her backpack out, checking there was no one around before slipping out a piece of metal with his webs glued to it.

"Nymph- or shall I say Y/n told me to keep this." She handed him the piece.

Peter looked at her with a confused stare before taking the broken strand of the drone.

"She to-"

"Told me? Nah I figured it out." She smiled in content at seeing Peter's face fall. "and I know you're spider-man"

"I'm not Spider-man-" He lied and she saw straight through him.

Suddenly the piece he was holding projected something making Peter jump and loudly drop it. He looked at the cloud that was forming as if it was a movie before it disappeared again.

"Mysterio-" He whispered almost choking as everything made sense.

Everything you had ever said made sense, and Peter was paying the price. Whatever Mysterio had planned, he knew you knew and was using you as the perfect bait.

"Shit-" He cursed, panic rising. "MJ, Spider-man duty calls." He blurted out before darting to his room.

"Where are you going?"

"To save my girl."

- - - - - - - - -

@averyfosterthoughts @justifymyfeelings @slytherinambitious @criminaly-supernatural@supernaturallover2002 @trustfundparker @tomhollandreads@prettysbliss @ksmy-99 @allycat449-blog @big-galaxy-chaos

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linawritesocs · 2 years

Note

hehe hi- 😍 for Bobbie and Vance? 💘 For Eureka and Avery? m-maybe 💙 for Margot and Austin?

i wrote vance x bobbie one as a sequel of your drabble!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

vance was sleeping peacefully before he felt someone's lips softly kissing his face. who.. who would even do that? is it his mom? did the whole "coming to nrc story arc" never happen? is he still a child who doesn't have to care about anything? that would be nice..

"wakey, wakey! i've restored your hp and mana, so, time to get up!"

what is this familiar voice? who does it belong to?

vance opened his eyes and everything made sense now. it was bobbie, they came into his room to wake him up. wow, they sneaked into the other dorm just to do that? vance must be really important to them! well, at least he hopes so.

"you're finally awake! hehe, so my method did work after all!"

vance rubbed his still sleepy eyes and slowly got up. bobbie noticed how messy his hair looks and laughed.

"i think we should do something with your hair before you go to class! leave it to me, we, godparents, are good at this kind of stuff!"

but before bobbie could say the spell, vance pulled them in for another kiss. he didn't really know what he was doing, his mind was blank at the moment, he just saw bobbie and his only thought was "i want to kiss them". and it's only fair, right? bobbie woke him up with kisses and also they're here, so vance should greet them properly!

bobbie was a bit surprised after that, but managed to hide it and laughed again, like they always do.

"aww, that's so sweet of you, vancey! but why did you do that?"

vance smiled and looked at bobbie like they were the only person that existed in his world right now. others were just npcs.

"i just wanted to say hello to you that way! it must've been hard for you to come to our dorm, so you can count this as a greeting and a reward~"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"so that's it, huh? you're going back?"

eureka slowly nodded, trying so hard not to cry. she can't do it, avery told her so many times to stop acting like such a softie and crybaby, it would be wrong to cry in front of him right now.

"y-yeah, they finally found a way for me to go back to my world.."

eureka couldn't look at avery. if she did, she wouldn't be able to go back home, because she'd remember just how much she loves him.

"um, well, that's good to hear."

avery was a liar. it wasn't good for him to hear it. he knew that eureka would have to leave this world eventually, but he hoped that their dumb headmaster will never figure out how to help her with that.

it looks like he wasn't so dumb after all.

"hey.." eureka finally got the courage to look into avery's eyes. "can you please look after grim for me? i know that there are others at ramshackle, but i just.."

grim was sleeping in eureka's room right now. he knew that eureka will go back to her world soon, but he didn't know when exactly she's gonna do it. and eureka thought it would be the right time to leave. she didn't want to see grim sad and it would be too painful for her.

"i will." avery didn't let her say another word and forced a laugh. "we both are gonna miss you, so we'll at least have something to talk about now."

eureka wanted to laugh as well, but instead.. she started crying. she tried to hold back the tears, she tried to fight it, but she was too sad, she could feel her heart break into pieces.

avery sighed.

"crying again? you never change, do you?"

but eureka just continued crying. not because of avery's words, but because of how much she didn't want to leave him and this world.

she knew that she can't stay here. she has people that are waiting for her and she just.. she doesn't belong here. this world isn't her home. and a weak, powerless human like her doesn't deserve to be with avery.

"here, take this." avery suddenly gave her a red rose, that he's been hiding behind his back the whole time. eureka noticed blood on avery's hands, it seems like he was holding the rose way too tight. "i hope that when you look at this rose, you'll remember me and all the time we've spent together. but don't cry because you had to leave, okay? you better smile and be proud of yourself, because you made my life, everyone's lives so much better."

eureka carefully took the rose, trying not to get hurt by its thorns.

"t-thank you s-so much.." she looked up and noticed that avery was crying too.

the boy walked closer to her and kissed her for the very last time. eureka felt like the kiss was too short and too long at the same time. but honestly, she still wished it could be longer.

avery gently pushed her away, but not because he didn't want to see her. he accepted the fact that she needs to go home and he wanted her to go back to the place where she belongs and where she will be loved. even if it's not by him.

"now go. go back to your world and do it as fast as you can, because if you don't, i will stop you and you will never, ever leave me. i mean, i won't stop you, if that's you want.."

------------------------------------------------------------------

"so why exactly do you need this thing anyway?" austin was fidgeting with his pen while waiting for margot's answer.

"it's none of your business! i just need it, okay? and i need it tomorrow!"

margot was prepared to threaten him, if he keeps asking so many questions. she heard how smart austin is and she hoped that they'd get along well (as partners! not as friends or anything like that!) but this guy is just as annoying as..

"fine, i won't ask anything else." austin accidentally dropped his pen. "i won't be able to bring it to you tomorrow though. i need more time."

"MORE TIME?" margot turned back to him. "aren't you a "genius"? your dorm praises you all the time! i thought that you're better than this!"

austin tried to pick up the pen.

"sorry, boss, but geniuses need more time to do great things. i thought you'd know that."

did he- did he just call margot a genius-

"well, i can do things a lot quicker than that!" margot boasted. "and if you're going to be my assistant, you should know how high my standards are!"

"listen, all i'm saying is that i will finish working on it this week, but not tomo-"

austin got distracted and tripped on his pen, which caused him to fall and.. the thing is that margot was standing dangerously close to him at that moment.

so they both fell.

austin ended up falling on top of her and their lips met, making austin accidentally kiss margot.

when the boy realized what he just did, he stood up as fast as he could and left margot lying on the floor.

"i- uh- so, t-tomorrow, right? sure, i can do that, boss. now, if you'll excuse me.."

austin immediately left the room, hoping that margot won't notice his face expression. the guy was blushing so much, something like that never happened to him before. in fact, he was so nervous, that he forgot both his pen AND his notes about the invention and margot's request.

so yeah, good luck trying to remember what she asked from you and making it, austin.

#and yes bobbie made the hey you you're finally awake reference #THE EUVERY ONE.. SOBS #austin is a genius AND an idiot #beauty with self grown thorns: avery #a gamer skater boy: vance #the lonely mechanic: austin #friends' ocs!#friend: lin!

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yunkiwii · 3 years

Text

messy room

Pairing: BF!Yunho x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff დ

Warnings: Language, anxiety

Word Count: 1.7K

DISCLAIMER: Please remember that mental disorders need professional treatment and having a s/o isn’t the solution for those problems. Yes, having someone to support you might help a lot but again, not the solution! If you’re in this situation please please try to get some help, and stay safe! ♡

A/N: reposted from my side blog lemonadewritings (which will be deleted)

I do not own this pic, credits to owner.

Summary: basically (y/n) is having an existencial crisis (same lol) because she just finished college and doesn’t know what to do next. Yunho is the amazing bf who showed up and is a cutie. (I don’t know a better way to put this without spoiling the whole thing).

⇘

“It’s the first Monday at home, with nothing to do since college is over. You graduated last friday, but since we're in the middle of a pandemic you couldn't even celebrate it. It was just over.

“Now go find a job” said your mom enthusiastically, who certainly was tired of being your money provider.

But it is not that simple, and you felt powerless just imagining how hard it would be. Even getting the internship to finish your last year was hard as fuck, imagine trying to get a paid job. You tried to get these thoughts out of your head so that you could get some more sleep.

Pointless. The moment you felt your eyes almost shutting another wild thought popped up.

“I can’t go back to my parents’ house. I cannot go back to that shitty hometown of mine. I won’t be able to handle all that stress and fuss about all aspects of my private life. I need to find a job here, and as soon as possible!!”. You let out a loud sigh and scream into your pillow. It was too frustrating, not knowing what to do next. No one prepared you for this. You were way too focused on graduating and never thought about what you would do next, now you have to deal with your existential crisis.

You turn around again in bed and try to sleep a bit more, once again. You don’t even know what time it is but you’re pretty sure you should be up already, assuming by the sunbeams that have been reflecting into your mirror and back to your face for a while now.

You don’t know how much more time you’ve slept until your doorbell started ringing furiously, but you felt like a truck ran over you and did reverse and ran again. You still got up, this time the frustrating feeling of before is gone. Now you just do not feel a thing. It’s like you’re not there but you’re aware of everything, it’s like someone had put you in automatic mode.

You finally got to the door, and the doorbell only stopped when you opened it. A small feeling of warmth ran over your body as soon as you saw that it was Yunho, your boyfriend. You’ve never seen that expression on his face though. It was a mixture of worry and relieve.

“(y/n) are you okay?? Did something happen? It’s already 2 pm and you haven’t texted me back nor answered the phone!” As he says this, with a bit of panic in his voice, he gives you the biggest hug ever. You reluctantly hug him back, resting your forehead in his shoulder.

“My phone must have died during the night.. I-I was sleeping..”, you stutter feeling a bit dizzy and out of yourself.

Yunho pulls away to look at your face and gives you a little smile. He shuts the door and walks with you to your bedroom, his hand on your lower back guiding you and giving the soft feeling of support. You still feel like you’re not there, so you don't even notice the face Yunho makes when he sees the mess your room is. He immediately realises that you are in fact not okay. Hell, he realised it as soon as you opened the door but the state of your bedroom and the fact you were sleeping until now, those were major indicators of an anxiety crisis attacking you.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” the tall boy holds your arm helping you onto the bed again, seeming even taller now, “You wanna talk?”

He sat next to you in your bed and held your hands, giving you a look of comprehension and empathy. You looked at him and in your mind your thoughts started running a 1000 miles per hour and you couldn’t focus on one. But you knew that externally you just looked blank. The panic going on inside your mind didn’t trespass to your skin and you were living it alone. You wanted to tell Yunho but you didn’t know how, so you just shook your head negatively and snuggled next to him.

You both stayed like that for a while. His left arm over your shoulder, your face buried in his chest and his right hand caressing your thigh softly. Yunho knew you well enough to not talk or do anything else until you were ready for it.

The smell of your boyfriend's freshly washed clothes mixed with his calm heartbeat helped you to calm your mind a bit, and a couple of minutes later you finally found the guts and the words to talk.

“I’m not feeling well Yunho.. but.. I.. I.. don’t know how to explain.. and…”, your thoughts started rambling again and you couldn’t finish your sentence.

“It’s okay (y/n)..”, Yunho held you tighter and placed a soft kiss on your forehead, resting his chin over your head while you let a tear slip and roll down to his light blue hoodie, your heart racing.

“Have you eaten anything yet?” you shook your head, still buried in his chest. “So I assume you didn’t take your meds either…?” once again, you don’t look at him, only shook your head no. You notice that he is clearly worried, and you know he is also a bit mad that you didn’t take your medicine. And yet he keeps talking to you in a calm tone, knowing too well that getting angry at you wouldn’t do any good.

He gets up holding your hand and the biggest smile he could pull off, indicating that he wants you to go with him. You groan, not wanting to leave the only place where you can feel comfort even when this big storm his happening inside you.

“Come on, (y/n)! Your room stinks, we need to open a window!” He chuckled and that actually made you smile for a second. Looking up to his adorable puppy eyed face you couldn’t just say no, so you stood up. “And you have to eat!”

Yunho led you all the way to the couch in your living room, way tidier than your bedroom which made you realise that you had been living in a big fat mess the past couple of days. Your boyfriend worked over the weekend and your roommate had moved out last week, leaving you all alone to your thoughts.

In the meantime, you asked Yunho to order pizza from your favourite place, and he made you promise you would take your meds and keep your phone alive for now on. You kissed his cheek as a way of sealing the deal and both of you smiled. Your heart was still racing and your mind a mess, but you decided that you would never want to leave your boyfriend this worried about you again, it wasn’t fair. So, you took your meds, ate pizza with him and fell asleep (again) while watching a random movie that was on at the time.

When you woke up, for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day, you were alone, the TV was pitch black and you had a warm cozy red blanket wrapped around you like a burrito. You felt so comfortable and calm, all your thoughts of before settled down. You were still a bit overwhelmed, but nothing compared to this morning. You concentrated to try and figure out any sound that would give away Yunho’s presence in your apartment. But nothing. All you could hear was the raindrops hitting the window.

It was darker now, and you picked up your phone from the coffee table, now fully charged. You don’t remember putting it there nor charging it, so you assumed Yunho did it for you. The thought of him taking care of you made you blush and your heart skipped a beat, even though you have been dating for almost a year now. He simply had that much power over you, and every time you’re with him you still feel like it’s the first time, falling for him over and over again.

You texted your boyfriend thanking him for everything and apologising for your behaviour. You get embarrassed whenever this happens and you can’t get out of it for yourself. You never wanted to feel dependent on someone else and had always taken care of your problems alone, so having someone else to help you always makes you feel guilty, like you’re a burden to them.

Your phone lit up.

Yunho: YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN!

Yunho: Sorry for yelling at you.

Yunho: I love you (y/n)! I just came to the dorm to pick up some of my stuff. I’ll sleep at your place tonight ;)

Yunho: Oh, and I’ll cook dinner! Don’t do anything until I get there! See you soon babe xx

You smiled like a little kid and a bunch of butterflies battled each other inside you. “I love you, Yunho.”, you texted back.

You felt bad for him doing all this for you and wanted to give something back, so you headed to the kitchen to bake him his favourite dessert. You left the cake cooking in the oven and went to take a shower and clean your bedroom. When you got to your room you couldn’t believe your eyes. Your bed was neatly made with clean sheets, the bowl of old cereals was gone, your books were all organized as well as your desk. The clothes that were all scattered around the room before were also gone. It looked so clean and smelled like vanilla, your favourite scent. You were indeed really lucky.

You were about to call Yunho when you hear the front door open, he must have taken your keys. You ran to him and threw your arms around his neck kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He was caught of guard and stumbled back into the closed door, letting the bags in his hands fall onto the floor. You could feel him smile during the kiss and his hands wrapped around your waist pulling you even closer.

“I don’t deserve you Jeong Yunho.” You say as you pull back to look at the most beautiful man you’ve ever met. Both of you all smiles and giggles.

“Glad to know I have my girl back.”

It still amazes you how the simple presence of one person could make you feel this good, all your worries pushed aside for later.

♡MASTERLIST♡

net: @ateezlovenet

#reposted from lemonadewritings #ateezlovenet #yunho fluff #ateez yunho fluff #yunho au #yunho x reader

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meeko-mar · 3 years

Text

Leak day is approaching, how we feeling?

I’ve had this bouncing around my drafts for a little while, a little idea that hooked itself into my mind. Who’s up for some BKDK Healing/Recovery Arc fluff??

I'm still deeply hoping for some slower, softer chapters to follow this VERY INTENSE war arc. I know a lot of ideas out there are operating under the concept of the boys healing TOGETHER in a hospital room, but like hear me out...

What if they start out at the hospital SEPERATELY and have to agonizingly wait until they’re better healed before they see each other? What if they can’t stand to wait any longer?

Spoilers for like...chapter 285 and beyond.

The nurses at the hospital had of course heard of Katsuki Bakugou, the boy who’d won the broadcasted UA Sports Festival. They had an inkling of the student’s more...aggressive tendencies. They steeled themselves for a potentially frustrating time managing and healing the reactive teenager.

The Doctors had done their best with his wounds in surgery as soon as he was admitted, got him stable with some much-needed blood transfusions, and sent him to rest and recover under the watch of a handful of night shift nurses. He was expected to wake sometime in the morning.

And yet, it was still the deep dark of night, when a tell-tale yell erupted from within the room with his name scribbled hastily onto the nameplate.

By the time the closest nurse turned the corner into the room, Katsuki was already pushing himself up with his good arm. Gritting his teeth, he swore aloud as stars popped in his blurry vision...but persisted in trying to lever himself out of bed. IV lines swung and tugged dangerously as he struggled.

The nurse rushed to the bedside as he tried to lean out the bed, but swayed from the vertigo. Pain exploded in his wounds, it felt like white hot coals had been dumped right into his gut and his left side.

“Young man, you need to lay down for now, your wounds..!”

“D-don’t tell me what to do!” Katsuki growled, in almost a feral state. Despite the drugs in his system, he was still in survival mode. His crimson eyes landed on her, still unfocused, delirious.

“Deku--Where...” He demanded again, voice cracking in desperation, still supported on one violently shaking arm. He squinted and blinked frantically; Why couldn’t he see straight??

The nurse grasped his good shoulder and eased the student back down into bed. Katsuki’s strong frame was resistant, but weakened by his injuries and lack of stamina. Even his willpower wavered with his consciousness.

“We can talk in the morning,” She assured in a calming voice. “But you need to sleep now, and stay put.”

Katsuki’s back connected again with the hospital bed, and it felt to him like it was grabbing him, keeping him there, and pulling him down into some dense fog. As his mind quickly began to drift, he wondered if the woman above him had some sort of sleep-aid Quirk. He blinked at the ceiling tiles and dimmed lights above, as the nurse adjusted his dosage, checked his IV, and logged notes on his condition. Another nurse hurried in, and they spoke quietly.

“What the hell...” Katsuki trailed off.

Both nurses flitted from the room, and Katsuki was alone in the darkness as it swallowed him.

“...De...ku...”

---

Katsuki didn’t have any idea how long it was that he was asleep. But as his eyes tried to flutter open again, they were met with soft light. And a silence that was almost jarring, after the battle, and after the frantic nightmares.

Nightmares...Aerial battles, explosions of green light...bursts of red....Black obsidian tendrils tearing through the air...

With a turn of his stomach, his eyes suddenly shot open, once again looking at a hospital room ceiling. Daylight was filtered out by thick curtains, and not far away, his parents seemed to have been keeping a vigil, each occupying a chair, leaning against each other in slumber.

His sight became a bit more focused and adjusted to the light, but his breathing intensified. He looked to his other side, and found he was in a private room. The door was shut at the moment; he was boxed in.

A flash of green energy played across his mind again....And a sick, charred hand that had reached out...

He felt a pain blossom in his abdomen as his breathing continued to spike.

He heard Deku’s yells in his mind again, and he once more felt the intense need to get up. His unrestricted hand clamped around the guards on the side of the bed, hoping for an anchor. Gritting his teeth against the fire in his gut, he tried to pull himself forward

“Hey...Hey!” He tried to yell, but it came out so hoarse, he growled and forced more of his pained breath into it. “Old hag!”

Mitsuki blinked awake, and jumped to see Katsuki staring back at her. Masaru awoke as well. and breathed a sigh of relief. Something twinkled in his son’s eyes that he was certain he’d never seen there before.

“Katsuki! Sit back down!! You’ll reopen your wounds!!” Mitsuki yells, surging to her feet.

“Don’t give a shit! Where the Hell is he?” Katsuki raged, once again pushing up with his good arm. His chest shuddered with hyperventilating breaths, and he felt as if it was threatening to tear him back apart. “Deku...Where’s Deku!”

“Deku?” His father asked, a bit confused.

“...Inko’s boy?” Mitsuki supplied, looking at Masaru as well. “Inko came to the hospital too, but...We haven’t seen her.”

“Dammit!!” Katsuki practically yelled, and tossed a venomous look towards the door. His fingers flexed with an overwhelming urge to blow the damn thing off its hinges. “What about All Might?? Or Half and Half, or fucking anyone who knows what the fuck’s going on?!”

“You settle the Hell down, brat, or I’ll make you!” Mitsuki loomed over him, a hand clamped tightly on the top of his head and forcing him back against his pillows. Katsuki glared at her, teeth bared and nostrils flaring, absolutely hating how weak he was to resist. “You’re damn lucky that whatever it was didn’t hit anything vital, but you almost bled out on the battlefield! You’re not going anywhere!! Don’t be a damn idiot!”

Katsuki tuned the rest of her words out. He was pretty sure she was turning to his father and going off on just how fucked this entire mission was, the insanity of putting teenagers who were clearly unprepared for the level of destruction that was involved...How none of them seemed to be properly informed of what the kids had been getting into.

They might have been discussing the prospect of Katsuki even going back to U.A. at this point, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t muster up a single iota of a crap to give over that right now.

He stared past his parents, at that damned door, waiting. Waiting with clenched fists, once again confined to laying against his uncomfortable pillows. His wounds were still too painful to move even if he wanted to. While somewhere out there...

Deku was somewhere out in that hospital, condition unknown. Red eyes glinted with moisture.

Come on.

Someone. Anyone. Come through that damn door...

He couldn’t believe how damn desperate he felt.

Tell me he’s safe.

---

Katsuki was loathe to comply with any procedures and check ups the nurses had to run on him for the days to follow. He grew more and more aggravated the longer it went on, the more they told him to wait. It was a developing situation, and there were so, so many civilians and Heroes in the hospital from that battle, the nurses didn’t have any time to prioritize seeking out any information on Izuku’s condition for him.

He crossed in and out of sleep all day and night. He couldn’t control it, between the pain and the meds, and even the sheer boredom of not having anything to do but agonize. He could only logically badger his parents so much concerning information he knew they didn’t have.

Sometimes sleep was a relief. A chance to pass time without thinking so deeply about everything.

Sometimes, it just gave him more nightmares and stress, and woke him with another hit of desperation to find closure for the battle he’d survived, confirmation that his best friends had made it out alive too.

News finally came when he woke up early in the next morning.

All Might appeared in the door way with eyes that seemed more cast in shadow than usual. Katsuki’s crimson eyes locked him and he immediately tried once more to pull himself up and forward. After the initial establishing conversation, All Might pleaded for privacy from his parents with a deep bow, and as they left the room, All Might drew himself back up. Blue eyes couldn’t quite meet Katuski’s.

“Start talking.” Katsuki grunted, and All Might pulled up a chair.

---

Izuku was lost in a long dream.

He was trying desperately to find the Vestiges again... He either couldn’t reach them, or...they were gone for good. He couldn’t quite remember, and the answer was so slippery it kept evading him.

Sometimes he would be minutely aware of what was going on around him in the physical world. Doctors. Nurses. Probes, needles, foreign hands.

Recovery Girl’s voice...Mom’s voice.

On the other hand, Nana’s voice. The First. Tomura Shigaraki. All For One.

He couldn’t quite grasp either side, and would be pulled once again into the dreams. It was as if he were stuck on a dizzying pendulum.

He gave in and floated for a while.

---

Hours passed, and little changed for Izuku. But as he seemed to surface back into the world, bits and pieces came back and fell into place in his mind. All of the things that had transpired. His slumbering mind could begin to process it, and make sense of it. Little by little.

By the time emerald eyes cracked open, Izuku had realized, he must have been asleep for quite some time. He had enough experience to recognize that he’d landed in the hospital, but felt powerless to assess how bad it was. He still felt hauntingly unattached to any of his limbs for the time being, no strength left to attempt to move them. He must have been heavily drugged by this point.

He wondered about Shigaraki, if he was also reduced to a quasi-sense of being, forced to lay low, let his mangled body regenerate. He prayed that the villain would be in such a phase for a while. Izuku knew there was no way he, or any of the heroes, could handle a rematch. Maybe not for quite a while, even.

A fleeting thought, however, as it was quickly overtaken by an urgent need to know the outcomes of so many....too many, of his friends, teachers and allies. Civilians, even. Aizawa, Gran Torino, Endeavour, all injured in battle. Shoto, his dear friend, and....

Kacchan.

The realization made a spike of anxiety lance through his chest like a knife.

Dear god, Kacchan. Was he...

“Ka...cchan--” Deku murmured, suddenly, feeling the tears pooling in his eyes. His poor mother, keeping a vigil by his side, leapt up and pressed a soft hand to his forehead, quivering voice crying with encouragement for her son.

“Mom, he...” Izuku whimpered, finally focusing on something for the first time, in his mother’s eyes. “Kacchan...The others...I couldn’t...”

As quickly as it had come, his resolve was gone, and his broken body wracked with sobs. His determination that had held him through the battle before losing consciousness, the rage, the adrenaline, was gone, and all that remained was the heartache that came from such destruction, from seeing his mentors and friends torn down one by one.

The image of blood suspended in air, and a shadow of a figure falling towards the Earth, stained his vision.

---

Days into Katsuki’s stay at the hospital, All Might visited again. The man still had so many new lines on his face, though he was heartened to see Katsuki, determined as he was, recovering and gaining focus quickly. Though with the focus, came that trademark, Bakugou impatience.

“He’s still in surgery!?” Katsuki yelled.

“More like, in and out of Surgery. They can only do so much at one time, even Recovery Girl could barely work with him, his stamina is almost non-existent right now...” All Might sighed. “And, there’s no shortage of other patients for her, unfortunately.” He said sadly, sipping a cup of tea with a white knuckled grip.

“That bad, huh.” Katsuki sneered, looking away from the man. Softly, he muttered, “Fuckin’ Deku.”

All Might smiled a deeply sad smile.

It had sounded spiteful, to the untrained ear, but by now, he could recognize how deep Katsuki’s concern really went.

---

One week after the incident at Jakku found Katsuki well enough to finally feel the cold tile beneath his bare feet again. Short walks were in order, as he was allowed to pace in his room every once in a while. The taste of regained autonomy was amazing, but he still felt the need to rest after very short walks, the wounds in his core still on the mend. Steps were small, and few, but Katsuki was feeling better for the improvement.

He leaned against the edge of his bed, muscles still stiff. Left arm in a sling, and right hand gently set on his stomach, he breathed deeply as he was able, assessing what his body was telling him.

He was gradually getting better, and the next goal was finally heading out that door. Fierce red eyes could have shattered the wood of the door, now left open just a crack. They couldn’t keep him in here forever.

---

“Good news,” All Might had told him, looking a little brighter. “They’ve moved Young Midoriya to the recovery ward. They’ve done everything they can for the boy, now all that’s left is to see how his limbs heal.”

Finally, Katsuki had thought. He was getting tired of waiting for the nerd to recover.

He scowled as he stalked out that door, and into the hospital hallway. His mended wounds still throbbed with each tender step, but the pain was becoming more and more dull everyday. He was itching to be able to get into physical therapy, and recuperate his body back into peak condition.

The ache in his shoulder gave him the most unease...His arms and shoulders needed to be up to taking the brunt of his Quirk. There was no time to lose in recovering those tissues, and he locked away any fears of never living up to his previous output, never being able to surpass it...He just couldn’t think of that right now.

Slippers scuffed against clean linoleum. Around the corner and nine doors down, All Might had said. He rounded the corner, and came, abruptly, to a stop, all inner thoughts ceasing. Crimson eyes had fallen on a figure ahead of him, and locked, his jaw dropping just slightly.

There before him, clearly in a state of dizziness, was Izuku himself. Of course, he seemed to be muttering to himself, staring intently at the name plates of each room he was passing.

Their eyes met.

His arms were bound up in thick casts once again, and in slings over his stomach, and bandages covered almost his entire torso in lieu of any shirt. Izuku stared back, large emerald eyes tired and glistening. He seemed to tremble at the sight of Katsuki, and the moisture in his eyes threatened to over flow.

“K-Kacchan,” He whimpered, blinking back the sudden tears, unable to wipe them away.

Katsuki's body suddenly unlocked, and he marched up on the other boy, as hard and as fast as his body would permit.

“What the fuck, Deku?!” Katsuki scolded. He planted a palm on the top of Izuku’s green head of hair, tilting his tear-stained face up to look at him. “Damn nerd, What the Hell are you doing out of bed?!”

“Kacchan,” Izuku sniffed, staring up into crimson eyes without an ounce of restraint on his emotions. “Y-you’re out of bed too...Are you okay?”

Katsuki twitched at the question, a reflex reaction now due to long years of rejection to the nerd’s selfless worries.

“Don’t you switch this around! I’m not the one who just got out of surgery!” Katsuki barked, ignorant to any stares from passersby they were drawing. “You shouldn’t be able to move, dammit!!”

“It’s okay, I mean, my legs feel totally fine!” Izuku argued weakly, even as his legs seemed to quiver just slightly beneath him. For the first time in the exchange, a hint of a dismissive, but pained grin tugged at his lips. There was still a very visible split on his bottom lip.

“That’s not the point, you--!!” Bakugou growled behind gritted teeth, fingers twitching impulsively under the messy nest of hair. How was he ever going to get through that thick skull of Deku’s??

“Please, Kacchan,” Izuku urged, “I know, I shouldn’t be out here yet, but I had to know for sure....that you were ok...I thought I’d really lost you...” He was beginning to choke on his words.

“They told you I was fine, so why go out of your damn way?! Why get outta bed when you can barely stand up straight, huh??” Katsuki retorted.

“I’m not explaining how much more it’d hurt if you were gone!” Izuku cried, and raised his head against Katsuki’s hand, cheeks flushed. He shook his head just gently, feeling a headache blossoming. “It’s not logical, I was...I was afraid, okay?! I have nightmares every time I close my eyes, telling me that Shigaraki kill-... took you away, or Todoroki wasn’t able to help you in time. It keeps replaying in my mind, and...And if it hadn’t been for me...”

He was gulping in air at this point, the words themselves seeming to scar him as he acknowledged their effect on him. Katsuki was unsurprised by the tears flowing anew, but something about the tremor in Izuku’s voice, shook him.

“I had to see you. And if my legs would work, then...There’s no way I could stop myself.” Although tired, his eyes glinted with that stubborn edge. It was the same, almost scared look of determination that had looked at him in the dark hallways of their first training exercise all those months ago...The first time they’d fought.

Wide crimson eyes held steady, and he noticed the shadows under the boy’s eyes, shadows of bruises that lingered against his freckles.

The hand that was on Izuku’s head suddenly shifted to the back of his head and he pulled gently, until Izuku’s forehead connected with Katsuki’s uninjured shoulder. Katsuki’s strong arm almost cradled him there in a half-embrace. A moment’s hesitation, and then his fingers curled around the deep, unruly green locks. Not to hurt, or threaten, never again...

“Idiot... Idiot. How the fuck do you think I feel?!” Katsuki muttered shakily against Izuku’s bowed head, his features furrowing. “Don’t you ever...fight like that again.” He bit his lip ferociously as it quivered, before any more words could spill out.

Izuku felt tense for a moment, adjusting to this strange new reality. In time, he eased, leaning into Katsuki’s offered shoulder, feeling the warmth of the arm curled around him. He felt a pang of guilt for being so overjoyed that Katsuki was here with him when so much had been lost...And another wave of surprise and contemplation as Katsuki’s words pinged around in his head. Even so, he dared to smile a broken smile into Katsuki’s shoulder, where no one in the world could see.

He only wished that his own hands were free so he could reciprocate the gentle gesture that was so exceedingly rare from the blonde, but so comforting.

Katsuki grimaced, but made no objection when tears began to soak the fabric of his shirt. The weight and the warmth of Izuku’s head against him was oddly comforting to him. A quivering sigh of relief escaped him, his cheek buried in green curls.

Reluctantly, the thought dawned on him; This is okay. Whatever this is...was worth the damn wait.

Turns out the wait was actually much, much longer than the time spent in the hospital.

---

*BONUS* owo

I DID happen to doodle the moment that really locked this into my mind and made me have to write this; I literally drew these at slow moments at work on receipt paper. (scanned a tad bit out of chrono. order though)

ALSO A NOTE:

I happened to fixate on this idea of Kacchan always grabbing Deku by the head(there was a post with a lot of this floating around not too long ago) and I’m convinced it’s part of his own unique language. You may have noticed, I threw in the little detail of contrast with how his mother in fact does the same thing, but forcefully, and exerting dominance over her son. Kacchan uses it this time to communicate with Deku, but it ends up being more gentle and as a comfort.

YES PARELELLS.

If I ever have time and inclination, I would love to redo these little doodles, honestly = u =

ANYWAY thank you if you’ve made it this far, I hope you liked :D

#Bakudeku #BKDK #katsudeku #bnha spoilers #Post-war-arc #Katsuki has trouble with emotions #Speculation #HEALING ARC PLS #bnha fanfic #bnha fluff #bkdk fluff #oneshot #mostly Kacchans POV bc I enjoy writing him #and honestly he'd be conscious probably much sooner than Izuku?#Izuku is very very injured and he's gonna have to be in surgery for a while I'm betting

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darkmulti · 4 years

Note

Trigger warning⚠️ Honey, this can be a bit long. Im sorry if you don't want to read it but I had this feeling to write you. The thing is I know a lot of people find it disturbing to write about noncon and they call the writers bad names. I understand that this can be a triggering topic but I mean most of the authors warn and post it under a cut. I'm not a writer myself but I'm a reader and I mostly read about noncon, like actively read it. At the first couple times I was disgusted with 1

(Zoom in if you can’t read.)

⚠️: mentions of r@pe, Suicide, sexual assault, mentions of abuse and domestic violence

This is extremely heartbreaking. I’m so sorry I didn’t answer this sooner, I actually received a hate ask this morning and it honestly brought my whole mood down:(

Something like this happened to myself. When I was nine years old, my father’s best friend kept molesting me. He would come over almost every night and get drunk with my father. My mom was too afraid to say anything to my father because he was drunk and when he’s drunk, he’s aggressive.

My room was on the second floor and my parents’ room was on the top floor. The main bathroom was in the same hallway as my room. So when my dad’s friend came inside to use the washroom, he snuck into my room (I didn’t have a lock on my door) and touched me.

I remember that he said that he was just playing with me. His dirty hands were all over my body and I was crying.

Even though I was nine, I wasn’t dumb. I knew exactly what that man was trying to do to me.

He never got too far because my dad was still waiting for him in the garage. Gosh- this is actually so hard to write... okay.

One night, the man got extremely drunk. He came inside and came right to my room. He was slurring some curse words and was pulling the sheets off my body. His hand covered my mouth and he took my pants off.

My mom came into my room in time and pushed him off of me. She kicked him out of the house but didn’t even ask me how I was doing. That night was probably the worst night of my life.

My parents were fighting and I saw my father raise his hand and hit my mother. I couldn’t do anything. My sister and I were powerless. They were yelling and screaming and my dad ended up leaving the house for the night.

I felt like it was all my fault. It was my fault that my mother got hit. She’s been through so much because of me. I didn’t know what to think or do during that time.

The next couple of days I went to my grandparents’ house to heal. They picked me up and took great care of me but I was always worrying about my mom.

I didn’t care about my dad and I stick by that till this day. I do not give a shit about my dad ever since that night. He’s a fucking asshole and I literally fucking hope he dies. I know that may not sound right to some of you, but this is just a quarter of what he’s done to us and I’m so fucking done with his face.

When I came back, my mom and dad were together. My mom didn’t get a divorce and my dad was just going to work like normal. Everything seemed normal. My sister stayed in her room in the basement because my dad told her not to talk to me.

Both of my parents questioned me and asked me what had happened. I came clean but my father didn’t believe it. He told me not to tell anyone and to let it go. He literally said that it was an accident and brushed it off.

The next couple of years were horrible. My father remained friends with that guy and I didn’t go to sleep whenever he was at our house.

When I was 15, I tried to take my own life. I felt so guilty and disgusting with myself. I felt like my parents didn’t love me, my sister had already moved out of the house, my dog passed away. I was alone.

I woke up in the hospital and just to see my parents gone and my grandparents waiting for me to wake up. Ever since then, I lived with my loving grandparents. My mom sometimes came to visit me but I never saw my dad again. I never want to see him again.

With the help of my grandparents, I finished high school, got into university, got together with the love of my life and moved out. :)

Life’s pretty good now. I have surround myself with people that love and care about me.

Writing non con has helped me so much. After I moved out, I went to therapy. Everytime I went, I cried my eyes out. It was so hard to talk. I barley even talked. I was just crying the whole time.

I stopped going to therapy and started my blog. Writing about it makes it easier for me to talk about my experience. After hearing other people’s experiences’, it made me more comfortable to talk about mine. Even though I’m crying just a tiny bit rn, it’s not as much as when I went to therapy. Which is good. It means that I have become more stronger mentally:)

All of you make my day 10x better. I really love and appreciate you guys so much.

Thank you and I love you guys❣️

#n talks❣️#tw: rape

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summii · 3 years

Text

looking back

pairing: everyone/reader. eren/reader

warnings: MANGA SPOILERS. MAJOR MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS. CHAPTER 139 , DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE MANGA/ DONT WANT SPOILERS. Death mention, Sadness- VERY SAD. Alcohol consumption, Nightmares, brief description but not really. Season three spoilers.

A/N: yeah, i totally didn’t cry while writing this 😫 sunny told me it would be sad ofc- but did i listen? no 🥰

_________________

the trip was long. the journey itself to get there was exhausting, the emotional side of it was taking a toll on you. you didn’t know if you would even want to come in the first place, but then again, it was what everyone had wanted. they wanted to see him. well...at least, in a sense...in the only way they could.

the trek to the hill was silent, as if there were a tension hanging above everyone’s heads. the thoughts of everyone- everything you all had lost in the past years. it had been three long years since you had been on your home land. three years since you had talked to him. three years since he had died.

staring at the state of the stone slab at the foot of the tree was a feat that brought the memories back to the forefront of your mind as if they were lightening. all of those moments spent in the rain, heat, cold, all of it. even the ones you distinctively remember where you didn’t know if you both would make it back then- if you’d see him again.

it was an unbreakable silence- nobody wanted to bring anything up first. not even as you all gathered around and sat in front of his grave, gazing down at the words engraved in the stone slab.

it seemed like a long time since you had gotten there that someone had finally broke the silence, “jean...why does your hair look like that?” armin managed to murmur out after breaking his gaze from the stone.

it was all the group needed to loosen up, many of them letting out chuckles and soon enough you were smiling along with them.

“yeah....eren would have made fun of you for it for sure,” you piped up, finally reaching over to open the wine you had brought. jean made a face in response and snatched the bottle from your hands, causing you to huff in annoyance.

“oh yeah- sure- bag on the guy who tried to look his damn nicest. whatever- that bastard can eat his words if he even tried to comment on my hair,” jean ranted as he uncorked the wine, soon slamming the bottle onto the ground after taking a drink from it straight.

“you horse- use the cups we brought,” annie cut in suddenly, thrusting one forwards with an annoyed glare. jean merely rolled his eyes and took the cup from her, pouring a hefty amount into his cup almost instantly. “yeah yeah- shut it,” he grunted out.

everyone took turns pouring the wine into their cups, taking sips. soon enough the silence turned into a bustling conversation, joking around light heartedly; they were light conversations.

“you know- remember when eren’s odm gear totally went awal and caused him to slam his head into the ground?” reiner cut into the conversation, finally bringing up the man who’s grave the group had come to visit. instead of pausing in a depressive silence like before, everyone let laughs tumble out of their mouths, your own expression lighting up into a bright smile.

“yeah! i remember mikasa and armin had to patch him up so many times!” you cried out through your laughter, bringing your cup up to your lips. you caught the eye of the female from across the circle, her soft smile only making your own grow.

it was like a fever-dream. the nights you would spend with him, the days spent alongside him fighting, talking, joking...it almost felt like he was still there with everyone, getting overly embarrassed by their taunts and laughter- he would definitely become red in the face and shout out insults or threats to them all. either that, or he’d try to embarrass you all as well. you could picture him sitting next to armin, joining in on the drunk banter and festivities. you could picture him here, with everyone. with you.

“you know…you’ll get wrinkles at a young age if you keep scowling…”

the boy stared up at you from where you were on his hip bones, having just pinned him down. light sparring- well, at least that’s what it was supposed to be. until your sparring partner got frustrated.

you didn’t know him- vaguely remembered his name, and vaguely of who he surrounded himself with. but besides that, all you really knew of him was his drive to kill titans.

“shut up! you’re so annoying!”

he sprung up suddenly and his head smashed into your own, causing you to reel back with a heavy screech, quick to shove your hand into his face to move him back.

“you crazy ass suicidal bastard!” was your response, and soon the two of you were rolling around in a feat of what seemed to be a power struggle wrestling match. it continued on until you two were pulled away soon after.

but even as the group went on about their memories with him, he wasn’t. all you could do was remember the times he was there with everyone, smiling alongside them. you joined in to distract yourself from thinking too much about it.

“or the time he tried to compete with sasha in a shooting range and lost,”

“let’s not forget the time he talked about captain levi’s height and captain levi was standing behind him!”

“or when annie flipped him”

“didn’t he flip you because of that, jean?”

“n-no! shut up! we’re not talking about me!”

“you know- i remember him being so worried about your mom- he thought she was being treated so badly!”

“...eren always did regret never telling his mom he loved her....” mikasa suddenly cut in to the conversation.

the group went on reminiscing for a long while, laughter being shared between everyone. your stomach almost hurt from thinking back to the many times eren had embarrassed himself. of course, there were light hearted memories, the funny ones seemed to outshine them in the conversation just in the slightest. though, even with the happiness seeming to run through you all, it wasn’t long before the group had become silent once more, staring longingly down at their cups or to the side.

it was another night of no sleep for you, it seemed. it was annoying- how many times you woke up in a cold sweat due to nightmares that just wouldn’t go away. it was different tonight though. for some reason…you just felt so…powerless. and claustrophobic.

it wasn’t much of a waiting game for you like this, listening to the noises in the tents to the others moving around in their makeshift beds. eventually you had to get up- clear your head. you couldn’t take it anymore. it was like a suffocating whirlwind of thoughts, you hadn’t realized you had been dozing out throughout getting your shoes on. before you knew it, there were leaves crunching underneath your feet from along the path.

the forest was so eerie at night, the sun shining down on everything and the path seemed to dark in some paths. even so, you just wanted some time away from the stuffiness. even if it would end up with you lost- though you doubted that would happen.

it seemed to be a long ten minutes before you decided you’d finally sit near the trunk of one of the trees. you brought your knees up under your chin, soon averting your eyes towards the sky. it was calm, for once.

that is, until you heard the same crunching to your right.

you sat up quickly, your pointed gaze hurriedly looking over, suddenly guarded, “hello? who’s there?!” you called out.

the crunching stopped, and soon your eyes adjusted to the brief light. of course you’d recognize those eyes anywhere. the passion in them was recognizable anywhere.

“…fancy seeing you out here…” your voice was soft, yet it didn’t fail to have that sarcastic tone that was so easy to use with him. eren merely scoffed.

“yeah, yeah. i heard you leave so i came lookin’ for you. i didn’t want you getting lost,” he huffed out, soon moving to take a seat next to you.

“aww, was brave wittle jaeger worried about me?~” you teased.

he was glad for the pale moonlight being the only source of light on you both, for it was easy for you to miss the way his face lit up into a light red. the annoyed grunt that left him left you both in a silence, and soon you were moving your gaze back up towards the sky. it was nice. you always felt most comfortable alongside him.

“…did you have a nightmare?” his voice cut out suddenly, almost enough to make you jump. however, the soft tamber of it relaxed you, and soon you were turning your gaze back; only to be surprised when your eyes met his immediately. he had already been staring at you- yet you couldn’t guess for how long.

“it’s so weird how you can guess things about me in a second with just one look. are you telepathic or something?”

“don’t avoid the question, (y/n).”

a hefty sigh left you, and soon you were turning away from him. you were afraid to see his expression-but you knew he wouldn’t leave it without getting an answer.

“…i just- yeah. i guess you could say that. i just- it’s just…do you think we’ll be alright after this? how much it will…how hard it’ll be to retake shinganshina? it must be so hard on you and mikasa and armin- i can’t even begin to fathom the pain…i wanna help in some way- b-but i just feel..powerless? like…reiner and bertholdt’s - hell, even annie- all three of them betraying us…i don’t know…affected all of us…and yet you’re still so…strong” you huffed, picking at the grass near your feet as you avoided his gaze. you missed the way his gaze softened- one of the many things you were oblivious to.

“honestly,” he started with a grunt, bringing his hand up to your own and tugging it over to his lap. it almost made you fall to the side. “i think you might be overreacting,” he bluntly put out.

it had you blushing feverishly, and you were quick to stare up at him with surprise- but he cut you off before you could curse at him- “you just…worrying about me…reminds me that i’m not alone…which is enough…” he sighed.

your expression faltered, and you let out a helpless grunt before looking down once more. you didn’t say anything afterwards, and neither did he.

connie was the one to break the silence this time.

“i miss him,” he said, voice suddenly shaky as his eyes glossed over, his gaze moving up to meet that of the groups, yours included.

you hadn’t even realized tears of your own had swelled over your lash line and fell over on the apples of your cheeks. not until your eyes moved down to his grave, eren jaeger.

“he was...so bright and hopeful. i remember when- when he would go on rants in the mess hall about killing all of the titans...” you almost stuttered over yourself.

“I’ll kill them all, every last one of them!”

“yeah...he sounded so stupid,” jean chuckled, shaking his head and smiling against his wine cup.

“he would announce it to everyone...at the stupidest of times...not to mention his stupidly annoying undying passion,” connie huffed and downed the rest of his wine, trying to hide the tears that had filled his eyes.

“i wonder...what he would say about us crying over him if he saw us,” reiner sighed.

“he’d probably make fun of jean for crying, and connie for starting it,” you chimed in shakily.

“hey! you’re not too far off!”

everyone was crying, yet at the same time...you all were smiling.

“hey…when this is all over…do you think…we can live happily…together?” he asked one night.

your head moved up almost immediately, staring up at him from across the table, and soon your head was tilting to the side, “are we not happy right now?”

he almost looked conflicted for a moment- but soon enough that dull look was replaced after a small sigh, and soon he smiled at you. “you’re right. i’m completely unhappy with you,” he teased.

and when you turned your back to take the dishes away- his expression faded, dreading of what was to come. and how you would come to hate him.

once they had all gotten it out, armin stood suddenly, holding his cup over eren’s grave and beckoning everyone to follow. they poured their wine over the grave. it bled into the ground and soon disappeared, leaving a wet patch in the soil.

“we miss you...you suicidal maniac...”

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ayo-cowbelly · 4 years

Text

when the fire goes out, how do we stay warm? part 2/?

previous part ~ next part ~ masterlist

this chapter is just SkySnips fluff and then *angst*. hope you enjoy ;)

the chapter count has changed- this story will definitely be more than two parts. it just went in it's own direction and i was powerless to stop it.

Warning: descriptions of injuries and a panic attack

***

When Anakin wakes up, he sees sterile white walls and bright lights filling his vision. Everything is blurry. It reminds him of being unconscious, except instead of darkness all he sees is blazing white.

The first thing he registers is that his body, especially his right eye, feels like it’s on fire. Then he realizes that his right side feels suspiciously light. Anakin knows he must have injuries, somehow, but he doesn’t remember exactly how he got them. Usually, when he wakes up in MedBay, the memories come rushing back within a few seconds; sometimes it even makes Anakin nauseous. But this time, there’s nothing. No flashes of battle, no cut off sentences, no ringing of an explosion in his ears.

There’s a blankness filling the space where the last few days (or weeks, he doesn't know) should be. It makes Anakin more unsettled than the nausea would.

He closes his eyes, reaching for the memories, but all he can remember is having a meeting with the Council- about what, he doesn’t know. But he recognizes the feelings that come with it; irritation, resentment, anticipation. The emotions feel stronger than they would normally be. Whatever he’d been doing, it hadn’t been good. He dives into his head again, and almost gets past the Council meeting; but when he tries to get farther, he meets a wall. As Anakin bangs against the structure, it keeps pushing him back. He’s not sure if it’s meant for protection or to deceive him.

Maybe Obi-Wan knows? Now that Anakin was awake, he should comm his master- Obi-Wan would surely be aware Anakin had been unconscious (and it must have been caused by something bad, if Anakin’s stinging limbs are any indication). Anakin looks down at his body, inspecting the injuries. His left arm has red scars running down it, along with his legs. Some look newer, and he knows how to differentiate those from his old ones from Tatooine- those he is intimately familiar with.

There are the small ones on his fingers, from when he was a child reaching for machinery his mother couldn’t reach. There’s ones on his legs (which are currently bare, due to the hospital gown he’s wearing) from the lashings Watto and Gardulla gave him, and of course ones he earned for running through Mos Espa trying to get away from said lashes.

But these new marks… he’s not sure where they’re from. Anakin reaches up to his right eye, trying to discover the source of the pain. He runs his fingers over the scar, wondering why it feels… longer than it used to be. Anakin follows the stitches (why he needed stitches on an old scar, he had no idea), dread swirling in him as he traces them down to just above his jawline. His cheek feels swollen and numb.

Anakin counts about 15 new wounds on his left arm, and those are just the ones he can see (some, he notices, run under his sleeve. He doesn’t want to know where they go). There are some bandages on his legs and he thinks he senses one on his left shoulder. Anxiously, he slowly turns his head to his now-weightless side. The sight before him shocks him to his core.

His right arm. It’s gone.

Not just the prosthetic. His entire right arm. Is not there. His limb just... ends at his shoulder, a small stump the only thing left. Anakin slams against the wall in his head, demanding answers, but the damned thing stays strong. The effort almost exhausts his already ragged mind. What happened to me?

As he surveys the MedBay, it’s seemingly empty- save for a few other sleeping troopers, so it must be during the night cycle. His eyes land on the bacta tank. In it is Rex, eyes closed. His body is covered in marks as well. But they’re not as bad as Anakin’s, not even close. The Jedi looks closely at the other troopers in the room, checking if they have anything resembling lashes or cuts- but they don’t. It’s just him and Rex, from what he can tell so far.

The door to the MedBay opens, Kix striding in. When he sees Anakin, he almost drops his datapad. “General! You’re awake!” Judging by the tone of the medic’s voice, Kix is genuinely surprised- just how long had Anakin been out?

“Yeah, I am- Kix, what happened? Where did my kriffing arm go?” As he talks, his throat aches with soreness- Anakin doesn’t try to figure out why (he knows he won’t like the answer).

Kix walks forward slowly. “You… you don’t know, Sir?”

“No,” Anakin says, disgruntled. “I can’t remember anything from before my last meeting with the Council.” His stomach drops a bit when he sees Kix’s eyes widen.

Swallowing, his head medic inspects the bandages and marks on his body. A tense silence fills the room. Anakin hates it.

“Kix. Where did Rex and I go?”

“Sir, I- I’m not sure I’m the right person to tell you.”

Anakin feels a flare of anger. Kix means well, he knows that; but when you wake up with new scars and a missing limb, with your captain in a bacta tank- well, you’re bound to have questions.

“Just tell me why my arm’s gone, Kix, if you won’t tell me where we were.”

Kix lifts his head, looking Anakin in the eye grimly. “Your prosthetic was gone by the time I got to you. The rest of the limb was too infected and torn up to be saved.”

Anakin looks back to the stump at his shoulder. Eyes closed, he whispers, “Why was my arm torn up?”

“General Skywalker, really, I don’t think I’m the best person-”

Anakin silences Kix with a wave of his left hand. “Fine, then, just- can you get me Obi-Wan?”

At his General’s words, Kix pales but doesn’t say anything. “I’ll- I’ll get you Commander Tano, Sir,” Kix says shakily, before turning and walking out.

Anakin has more questions than answers.

He waits, fidgeting with his hospital gown, wondering why the hell Kix seemed so unsteady around him. As he sits in his bed, he tries reaching out to Obi-Wan in the Force. Anakin locates their bond- but it’s unstable, the thread fraying on both sides. He pulls on it, and is met with a wobbly burst of surprise, distress, love, and sorrow from Obi-Wan. Anakin sends back feelings of confusion and slight impatience. He doesn’t receive anything in reply.

He’s about to reach out again, but is interrupted by a shout of “Skyguy!” Anakin turns to Ahsoka, her feet pounding over to him. She throws her arms around him, holding tight.

“Snips?”

“Oh, thank the Force you’re awake- it’s been awful, Master, without you or Rex here- please, don’t ever do that again-”

“Ahsoka,” Anakin says. He gently pries her arms off his, but still keeps her close. His Padawan- his little sister- has tears in her eyes as she looks over him. “What happened to me? Where’s Obi-Wan?”

Ahsoka’s eyes overflow. “Master, he’s- they- I tried to tell-” The sentence is cut off by her broken sobs. Anakin pulls her into his chest again, and she gratefully holds on. He runs his hand over her Lek, making soft shushing noises.

“It’ll be okay, Snips, whatever happened- it’ll be okay,” He whispers. Ahsoka only cries harder. Anakin wonders if his Master is- no, he can't be, Anakin felt him through their bond- Obi-Wan is not dead.

The next day, Anakin sets off to the bridge, intending to get answers.

Well, he tries. Whether or not he actually got there is a different story. Ahsoka, Kix, and even Cody (who has apparently been on the Resolute for as long as Anakin’s been out- the Commander looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks) all sternly ordered him to stay put.

“Master, you just woke up last night; you need to rest.”

“I can’t rest, I need to know where Obi-Wan is, where I’ve been-”

“Sir, as head medic, I’m respectfully commanding you to stay put,” Kix finishes replacing a bandage on Anakin’s leg, sternly giving him a look.

Anakin, knowing not to argue with Kix, tries a different tactic. “Cody, you agree with me, right?”

Cody, who looks incredibly worn out, just shakes his head at Anakin, making the Jedi sigh.

“Please, just tell me what happened,” Anakin begs, looking around at the three of them. The two clones share a glance before saluting quickly and walking away, nodding to Ahsoka.

She stares at the closing doors, hands twisting and pulling at her clothes. Anakin’s eye catches on an angry-looking line on her uncovered right shoulder. Had she been on the mission, too? Anakin hopes she wasn’t; whatever mission this was, it had been catastrophic, if he was missing an arm and Obi-Wan was gone- No. Don’t- don’t think about that- he’s alive, you felt him, you’ll find him-

Ahsoka takes a deep breath. Then another. She wipes her eyes, turning to face him. “Master, we were on…” she pauses and takes his left hand, as if telling Anakin to brace himself. “You, me, Rex, and Obi-Wan… we were on Zygerria. But after that-”

He can’t hear the rest of her sentence. The word ‘Zygerria’ triggers a myriad of emotions in Anakin. Anger, fear, sadness, pain, despair, hopelessness- he doesn’t know what to make of them. He feels numb and overstimulated all at once. His heart twists in his chest. Anakin wonders if he’s about to float away or sink into the floor, and he distinctly remembers yelling and crying and wondering where the Root was-

“Master?” Ahsoka says, but her voice can’t bring him back. He faintly registers a tentative brush of sympathy and love in their bond, but he can’t reply- he’s lost in his head.

Anakin is stuck in an ocean, and he’s going to drown, why can’t he swim- where is Obi, how can I get out, DON’T TOUCH ME- where is the Root, I want Obi, GET AWAY FROM ME- I want to rest, I’m so tired, let me sleep, LEAVE REX ALONE- why can’t I see the Dunes, they’re supposed to be here, I can see Mom again, I HATE THIS PLANET- let them swallow me, I TOLD YOU TO STOP- I want to help, STOP PLEASE STOP, STOP, DON’T DO THAT, STOP- Obi please help me-

The thoughts that must be from the mission whirl around his brain, but he can’t grasp onto the memories they hold. Anakin wants them to go away, he wants them to stay put, he wants to make his hand stop shaking. Why is he burning if he’s about to drown? His heart pounds and he can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, his legs don’t work, he is going to sink-

Suddenly, his spiraling mind is gently pulled at with a sweep of affection and love. The feelings aren’t his, but from someone nearby (he can’t remember who). The person keeps building up the sentiment, until they become a thick blanket that is laid over Anakin, shielding him.

He finds that his eyes are closed. He slowly comes back into his body, and realizes his left -his only- hand is tightly gripping something.

It’s another hand. Ahsoka. He opens his eyes, breaths regulating. Anakin releases her, and turns his head to look at her. His little sister looking at him worriedly, questions in her eyes.

“Anakin?” She breathes.

“‘Soka?” He croaks out. His throat is even more sore than before. “Where- where’s Obi?”

A heavy pause. “The queen has him, Anakin,” Ahsoka says quietly.

Anakin can't help but be relieved that Obi-Wan has been confirmed alive. But the Zygerrian queen has him- and Anakin knows that that is so much worse than his Master being dead.

I would rather my child be dead than be a slave like me.

But this time, it's his brother.

"'Soka... what happened... after we were there?" Anakin asks, part of him not wanting her to answer.

"You- The guards, they found you and Rex, and they shipped you off- They put me in a cell," She says. Searching his face, his apprentice knows he needs more details. Sadly, she continues, "They took you to Kadavo, Master. The queen made Obi-Wan her servant."

Kadavo. A place all slaves knew, even on Tatooine. It was the planet that everyone had nightmares of. He had been sent there- The thought almost sends his mind spiraling again, but before it happens, Ahsoka takes his hand and fills their bond with comfort. Anakin meets her eyes. "How long- how long were we-" He can't bring himself to finish. It doesn't feel real- but it must be. They made him into a-

Don't finish that thought.

Anakin turns back to Ahsoka. Another pause. Eyes closed, Ahsoka mumbles, "It was about a month before we were rescued, Master."

He doesn't know what to say to that- he had been on Kedavo for a month? "H- how did they find us?"

"It took them a while to figure out where you were, but once they did, they sent Master Plo to get us. Once they got you, they went for me and Obi-Wan- Rex told Master Plo where we were before he went unconscious, apparently. They found me, but... nobody knows where the queen put Master Obi-Wan."

Red fills Anakin's vision. Obi-Wan, his brother, is missing, in the hands of some slaver queen-

She will pay.

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godseen · 3 years

Photo

tw : death by fire characters featured : eddie , nat , ash .

it began just like any other day .

with only a couple hours of sleep ( thanks to insomnia and his choice of hyperfixation for the week ) , reggie jr was tired and lethargic as he got up at dawn . languid with his movements as he got dressed , a loud yawn escaped his lips that was quickly followed by a quick groan at the annoying tick and tock of the wall clock amidst the quiet of the morning . tick … tock … tick … tock … tick … tock … and reggie would have taken its batteries out there and then if he wasn’t suddenly distracted by the very faint smell of iron and burnt meat in the air . but in the end , reggie shrugged it off as some weird morning hallucination as his senses awoken with him . he had other things to worry about . it was 5:15 AM . and he was already running late .

reggie stood there for a moment , ( breathe in , breathe out ) channeling all the energy he could muster to face the rest of his day . then , a whirlwind of motions — he let his dog out to the backyard for a quick poo , brushed his teeth , took his vitamins , and prayed to his god for a great day for everyone in town . it was 5:49 AM when he was finally prepared , everything was muscle memory with his routine at this point .

the first signs of sunlight kissed his skin when he stepped outside , a comfort as the cold morning breeze hit his pale cheeks , but reggie didn’t have the time to bask in its warmth — eleven minutes before the first delivery , less than an hour and a half before opening time . the walk to the diner was brisk , with a few minutes to spare before fernando , their regular shipment driver , would deliver the produce that they couldn’t get from hidden hill farm . it was 5:59 AM , and reggie was waiting behind the diner for the shipment while he fed a family of stray calico cats .

he made a mental note to ask fernando about how his date went , remembering how excited the other man seemed to be about it the last time they talked . reggie always made a point to make conversation with everyone he’d come across , such a social creature with charm and the gusto for bringing people together . it was 6:20 AM , twenty minutes after fernando was supposed to arrive and reggie felt uneasy as it was the first time the other had ever been this late after all these years without any notice . the strange scent made its presence known again , stronger this time but reggie still couldn’t pinpoint what it was and where it was coming from .

beginning to be perturbed by the smell , reggie went back inside the diner , glad to see ruby ( auntie ruby , he’d call her — a good friend of his dad’s and a line cook for the diner since he was little ) was already there . he greeted her and asked how her weekend was , only to be ignored . he didn’t take it personally , albeit a little disheartening , since he figured she just woke up on the wrong side of the bed . they spent their opening preparations in awkward silence and reggie wondered whether something was wrong , but he didn’t want to prod so early in the morning . he was thankful when the clock struck 7:00 AM , finally time to open the diner and serve great food to darkwood residents , and their praises and conversations were his own food for the soul .

but it was unusually quiet , the silence almost too overwhelming that reggie couldn’t help but tap and knock on the counter endlessly to drown out white noise — their morning regulars seemed to have disappeared from the face of the earth . and those that came were disinterested in his chit chat , simply took their coffee and meal , leaving without a word . he smiled at every customer , greetings highlighted with pep , disheartened at every time he was disregarded — again and again and again and again and again , like an endless repetition that left him deeply disturbed . there was something alien about what was happening … something so eerie , especially when the old jukebox unexpectedly began to play on its own to break the silence — and reggie wished it hadn’t .

i know you belong to somebody new but tonight you belong to me although we're apart you're a part of my heart but tonight you belong to me — the song began to play faster and faster with every syllable , and while it had malfunction before , it had never just played on its own accord — waitdownbythestreethowsweetitwillseemoncemorejusttodreaminthemoonlightmyhoneyiknowwiththedawnthatyouwillbego and the song continued to speed up until it just sounded like a loud high-pitched ringing , forcing him to cover his ears as he ran towards the jukebox so he could unplug it . and then , back to complete silence .

it was only 9:15 AM when reggie took his first break , so deeply disturbed that he had to step outside for fresh air . he texted nat , offered free strawberry milkshakes and curly fries just for her to stop by and make him feel less like a lunatic over what was happening . but she left him on read , which didn’t happen often , or at all if she could help it . he began to pace outside , which would have looked really strange if there was anyone watching — but the town was almost deserted , like he had been left behind by everyone that ever mattered to him ( a list that consisted almost of the entire town ) . it was a sick joke , it had to be . he texted ash , no detail spared — it was a nice bait , ash would probably laugh at him for thinking everyone had suddenly conspired against him but he needed to talk to someone . anyone .

if ash was stupid about her pride and their whole rivalry , then reggie was stupid about ash . he never wanted to be in competition with her , would very much rather have a bond based on mutual interests and fondness for each other — and yet , for years and years , reggie went along with it in hopes that it would make her feel more involved . and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy seeing her show the smallest semblance of happiness whenever she’d beat him in their most trivial feuds . he enjoyed his time with her , so , he hoped for a reply . no , he prayed for it . he could already imagine ash’s smug smile when they’d talk about this in person and how it would make his day just to see it .

but minutes passed and still nothing . he tried to call his dad , mom , siblings , eddie , pari , his neighbors and even the police — all nothing . reggie felt ill , almost lost his balance at the thought of being alone in a world without everyone he cared for . he had always been able to hold onto hope , but not when all signs lead to everything he feared for . he ran back inside the diner and auntie ruby was gone . it was the terror of patterns and schedule thrown awry , the banality he was so used to suddenly replaced with dread growing exponentially in the pit of his stomach . what was his life if not to care for people ? what was his life if not trying to make their sleepy little town a better place ? his life meant nothing if he was alone , and god , he couldn’t stand it .

he raced outside , barging into every store , knocking on every door , desperate for any signs of life . he went to his family’s home — completely empty of life , his parents and siblings gone as if they were never there in the first place . people were not just supposed to vanish into thin air . he wondered if this was the rapture , if he had been left behind because he wasn’t good enough . it was a painful thought , his dedication to everyone else meaning nothing . he ran and ran and ran and ran until he couldn’t breathe , collapsing onto the ground ( breathe in , breathe out ) as he became painfully aware of the lack of air in his lungs . his throat was agonizingly dry , tears welling up in his eyes as he realized that this had to be a nightmare . if not , then it must be hell .

he closed his eyes and sent up a simple , desperate plea to god , ❛ please , wake me up . ❜ but the prayer went unanswered . and once again , the smell came back — so strong , so pungent that he could almost taste it , that he felt like throwing up . he was scared to open his eyes , but he was betrayed by his own body . in front of him was eddie , standing tall and proud ( of what ? he wished he would never find out ) as that sinister smile on his lips taunted him .

❛ you were wrong , reggie . about me . about everything . ❜

the conviction in eddie’s voice left his powerless , his faith in eddie finally deteriorating with the evidence laid behind him — a pile of ablazed corpses , his loved ones and the people of darkwood slowly being reduced to ashes . the wind blew soot and god , it burned his eyes but reggie remained unblinking at the horrors , mouth agape as he stared at the horrors against his will . he wasn’t sure how long he had been looking at it — seconds , maybe minutes — when god finally answered his prayers and he finally blinked .

the next time reggie opened his eyes , it was 5:15 AM and it was time to start his day . tick … tock … tick … tock … tick … tock … and the annoying clock went on and on , but he was too listless to do anything but sit on the edge of his bed and contemplate that dreadful nightmare . was he truly wrong about eddie ? no . no . no . he couldn’t let himself doubt him now , too . it was just his psyche playing tricks , recycling the rumours and gossips the townspeople tried to imbue on his mind . eddie was innocent . he paid no mind to the other parts of the dream , that sickening loneliness he felt — it was just a nightmare , and being awake meant he had other things to worry about now — eddie , ash , the diner , his family — and he was already running late .

#𝐯𝐢𝐢. dossier ━━━ 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 ╱ 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗷𝗿 ( tasks ) .#hhqwriting #ft. ash !#ft. eddie !#ft. nat !#its a b-horror movie luvs

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lilywoood · 4 years

Text

Small Bump 3/?

So here I am with part 3, once again I want to profusely apologize for not posting the last prompts yet it’s just that this story is really occupying my mind and I feel like I need to write it before anything else, I still plan on posting the prompts but it’ll take a bit longer and for that I’m deeply sorry.

If you want to be on Small Bump tag list don’t hesitate to hit my askbox it’s easier to reach out for me this way ♥️

Tag list :

@diazbuckleysworld @felicitous-one @gxtop @cherishingstydia @translucent-bisexual @profangirl1999 @zola9612 @impossiblealice @sergeant-barnes-and-his-captain @meloingly @shipping-queen @my-name-i-we @reecedaddario @fyeahhipsterdoctor @evan-diaz-buckley @duckcollectorus @graciemma16 @snorlaxishere @fandomfullofgayness

Words count : 1306

Song : Don’t Forget about me - Cloves

—-————————————————-

He knew there were a baby in him, knew that Eddie and him created a new life, a new person, a new soul but the reality of the situation didn’t really hit him until that famous Monday, until he had to lie to Bobby and call sick to get his first ultrasound.

—————————————

He never felt more alone than now, in his obstetrician waiting room surrounded by families and couples, surrounded by people having one another’s back...

They were a time where Eddie used to have his, but it was over now, since that famous night something changed in their dynamic, as if Eddie was discretely trying to distance himself from Buck, as if he regretted meeting him...

He had learned to accept it though, mend his broken heart and acknowledged the fact that he would never be it for him, Eddie would never need him like Buck had needed him, never choose him like he had choose him, never love him like he loved him...

He was coming to term with it when the secretary finally called his name, he could feel the pitying looks of people when he rose from his chair, hear the whispers, the critics, it was deepening the wound in his heart.

-Mr Buckley, the secretary called again seeing as he stopped midway, Dr Stevens is waiting for you, she smiled kindly, leading the way...

———————————-—

The room wasn’t dark as he pictured it, it wasn’t cold either, the walls were painted with different shades of yellow and covered with kids drawing, he couldn’t help but chuckles at some of them.

Doctor Stevens was setting the material for his ultrasound letting him time to mentally prepare himself, everything would be real after it, it won’t be suspicions, it won’t be a false alarm, today he’ll meet his miracle.

-Whenever you’re ready Evan, she smiled encouragingly

-I’m ready, he stated clearing his throat.

He unbuttoned his pants before lying, he raised his shirt, glancing quickly at the little bump.

-You’ll feel a bit cold but it’s normal, she explained, it’s just the gel ok, she asked, Buck only nodded and winced when she put cold gel on his skin.

She started moving the probe, searching for an image, it lasted two minutes before he started to see something, or more exactly hear something.

Something close to the faint echo of drum, it was a weak sound at first but the more Doctor Stevens moved the probe the more the beating got louder until they could clearly hear it.

Thump...thump... thump...thump... thump...thump.

He could feel himself tear up, he could hear the laugh bubbling out his throat, joy was coursing through his veins, happiness and an unconditional love for this teeny being burned his heart.

-Did you hear that Edd... he laughed looking at his right, before interrupting himself by remembering that Eddie wasn’t there, he would never be there.

Doctor Steven smiled sadly at him, never commenting on it, Buck was thankful for that.

-Do you want me to print you three copies, she demanded squeezing his shoulder.

-If you don’t mind, he smiled forcefully, trying to hide his sadness.

————————-

He couldn’t keep his eyes away from the picture, it was blurry, black and white and he couldn’t really see his child but he knew they were here, he knew it was his baby, his light, his hope, he knew the weird white thing was his and that was enough.

Even if he was glad everything was good for both him and his child, even though meeting them for the first time had been the happiest thing that ever happened to him he couldn’t help but feel saddened by the fact that they were alone, that he’ll never be able to give his child the family he deserved.

——————————

He’d promised Maddie he’d call her after his appointment, she was with him every step of the way after all, he knew she would be happy, thrilled even to learn that everything was alright still he couldn’t help but want to distance himself from everything and everyone right that instant, he wanted to throw himself another pity party; wanted to go home and sleep the day, wanted to numb the loneliness he felt.

Maddie didn’t gave him the choice though, as he was starting his car, his phone started to ring with Maddie’s picture flashing.

-Hey Mads, he answered softly, putting her on speaker.

-Hey yourself, she retorted cheerfully, so how was the first appointment, she quizzed never being one for beating around the bush.

-Everything is fine, he answered mechanically, I’m three months along, he counted, baby is healthy and growing normally, he added, I’ll know what it is in two months, he smiled.

-That’s good, she sighed relieved, everything is ok so why are you so sad Ev, she demanded worry clear in her voice.

Buck frowned of course Maddie would be able to read him even from afar, of course she’ll know that something was bothering him, still he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell her why he was upset.

-Ev, she called, I’m on your side you knows that, she asked, you can tell me I’ll never judge, she reassured him talking with her mom voice.

-I was alone Maddie, Buck told her sadly,

-I’m so sorry Evan I tried to have the day off to be with you, she apologized profusely passing back and forth, next time I’ll be there, she promised.

Buck shook his head laughing sadly, only Maddie would blame herself for something she wasn’t responsible for.

-No Mads, he sighed, I was alone, he insisted.

-Oh, she stated understandingly stopping her passing,

-Yeah oh, Buck chuckled passing a tired hand on his face, they were family there you know, he counted, couple holding hands and rubbing the other back and I was alone, he pursued.

-Evan, Maddie tried before being cut.

-No Mads let me finish, he sighed with a lump in his throat, I was alone and the only thing I could think of when I heard its heartbeat, he smiled drying his tears with the back of his hand, you know when I heard it, he articulated difficultly, I forgot he wasn’t there, when I heard it I turned my head thinking he and Chris were there with me, he laughed tiredly, and I realized that I was alone, his voice was shaky and tears falling freely, I was alone Mads, he whined.

-Evan no, she called, you’re not alone, she frowned passing her hand through her hair, I’m sorry I wasn’t there, she apologized again, I’m sorry He wasn’t there, she pursued before Buck cut her again

-You know it made me realize how foolish I had been all this time, he spoke

-What do you mean, Maddie asked confused,

-When we slept together that night, he counted, I wasn’t that drunk, he avowed, and I don’t think he was either, he breathed, I foolishly thought that maybe just maybe he felt for me what I feel for him, he took a deep breath, and then I woke up alone, they were no notes, he didn’t text, didn’t call and that made me realize that maybe he wasn’t into me, Buck chuckled drily, maybe it was just pity,he whispered, he was drawn to me because of loneliness, because I was there, maybe it never was about feelings, he croaked, if I hadn’t be there maybe it’ll have been someone else, he stated gripping his phone tightly, he...he’ll never love me as I love him Mads, he suffocated.

-Oh Evan, Maddie sobbed, I’m sure it’s not that, she tried, anyone can see how he deeply cares for you, she added softly,

-Then why wasn’t he there, Buck asked finally breaking down, why wasn’t he there when I woke up Maddie, he cried.

—

Maddie never felt so powerless in her life, after hanging up with her brother she stayed on the break room for ten more minutes, she wanted to be there for him to support him, but she knew, deep down she knew she wasn’t what Evan needed.

She sighed deeply looking at her phone screen, looking at the contact page that was open, debating with herself wether she should press call or not, it wasn’t her secret to share, yet she couldn’t help wanting her brother happiness, closing her eyes she raised her finger deciding to let destiny decide if she was going to call Eddie or not.

#small bunp buddie #buddie angst #buddie fic #buck x eddie #buddie mpreg #mpreg #evan buckley #eddie diaz #eddie x buck #hurt comfort #miscommunication #misunderstanding #9 1 1 on fox #911 prompts #911 fic #911 on fox #tv: 911 #maddie buckley

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paperficwriter · 4 years

Text

I Told You That I Love You, Please Believe Me

I’M REALLY SORRY, OKAY.

(Some spoilers for the manga, but an alternate take) Ippo has started showing the signs of being punch drunk. He might be able to come back from it, but he can't do it alone. Luckily, Sendo has never planned on making Ippo do anything alone, if he has any say in the matter.

Cut is for length, not for content. Some reference to sex, but SFW.

Hey, I’m Sendo. Uh, Sendo Takeshi. I ain’t from around here, I’m a pro boxer in Osaka. But, uh, I’ve been here for a while now, so I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to be in this group, right?

Okay. Okay, good.

I’ve been, um...I’ve been here takin’ care of my boyfriend, Ippo. Aw, shit, fuck, am I allowed to tell you his name? Is this supposed to be one of the anonymous things? Shit.

...no? Okay. Phew. Alright, that’s good.

Anyway.

So like I said, been here for a while. I was supposed to be jumpin’ into my first bout of the season, and the night before I get a call from his ma. ‘It’s about Ippo.’ And my heart sank so hard. In those three seconds, I thought, this is it, this is the call, there was an accident or someone hit him the wrong way, he’s paralyzed, I lost him, what the fuck am I supposed to do now.

But then she starts talkin’ about therapy and meds. And she’s goin’ on about he ain’t doin’ so well with it, and they basically told him he ain’t allowed to come back to the gym without a note from the doctor. But he still keeps tryin,’ and the last time that piece of shit Takamura hit him. Not, like, on purpose I guess but the guy’s an asshole, so. There ya go.

And she goes, ‘I don’t want you to feel like you have to come, but I don’t know what to do with him. He’s so upset and mad, and the meds help but sometimes he won’t take them.’ She’s cryin’ her damn eyes out, and I stay on the phone with her for two, three hours. I’m supposed to get at least eight or nine hours before a match, but...well...that wasn’t happenin.’

And not only that, but...I stayed up longer, thinkin’ over all of it. I was like, what would that be like for me, huh? What if someone told me I couldn’t even train, let alone fight, and all I had was a bunch o’ punch-drunk fuckin’ energy to kill and nowhere to put it, and I just…

God, Coach was pissed. He was all, “Think about what you’re doing, Sendo! Do you think Makunouchi would want this? He’d want you to keep fighting and doing what you do!”

I just...went off. And I feel bad, ‘cause we haven’t really talked since, and I know it’s probably ‘cause he had to find someone else to fill my spot, or do all the paperwork, but I’m not stupid. I screamed at him. Told him, “This ain’t about what Makunouchi thinks! It’s about what I think! If I leave him all alone to deal with this by himself, I’m a fuckin’ piece of shit, and I don’t deserve him.”

And I left. Packed as much as I could, since I didn’t know when I’d be back, took the first flight, and the train, and I was there the next day.

You would think I was the Buddha himself, the way Ma Makunouchi looked at me when I got there. Hell, she already had a room set up for me where they normally kept fishin’ gear. I wasn’t gonna say that I would probably be in Ippo’s room a lot, but…

I asked where he was and she said he was sleepin,’ ‘cause he did sleep an awful lot when he took one particular med. I probably got everything unpacked before she went out grocery shoppin’ and I finally let myself into his room. I laid down next to his futon, and he didn’t even stir. It was crazy. I had probably been there five hours, and I wasn’t bein’ loud on purpose but I ain’t good at bein’ quiet.

Finally he wakes up, and he blinks at me, and holy shit, he just launches himself at me. He does that sweet goofy squeal of his, all, “Sendo-saaaaaan!” and he’s huggin’ and kissin’ me and I’m like...this is my boy, ya know? This is Ippo, he hasn’t changed, this is gonna be fine.

...fuck, man. It was...just...it got hard, okay?

Because the next morning, maybe two days after that, he gets up, gets his sweats on and all, and I think… okay, maybe he’s going for a run. But then he looks at me, big and bright and smiling. “You’re going to help me get back into the gym, right?”

I got all queasy. Not good. I tried to kind of laugh. “What? Nah. Ippo, ya can’t go back to the gym yet...I can’t give ya a doctor’s note, ya know?”

And he got...really mad. Like, madder than I ever seen him. He starts stormin’ around, even knocks over this stack of magazine. “I thought you wanted to help me!”

I’m all, “‘Course I do. Babe, I’m here, it’s gonna be okay.”

“What are you going to do, then? Just sit inside here and babysit me when my mom’s not around. Is that why she called you?”

I...I fuckin’ blanked out. What was I supposed to say to that? I tried to give him a hug, but he shoved me and stormed off. Down to the beach. And I sat there and stared at him, because he just went down there and sat, and I didn’t know what to do. I felt so damn powerless. And I don’t...I’m...I’m not used to feeling like that.

He came back a bit later, and honestly it was worse, because I was watchin’ TV, trying not to think, and he busts in sobbing. And he wraps his arms around me, and he’s cryin,’ and he’s beggin’ me not to leave, that he’s sorry, that he doesn’t know what happened. And I tell him, “I ain’t leavin,’ okay? Don’t cry, Ippo. S’okay. I know it ain’t your fault.”

He takes the meds and goes back to sleep for, like, hours and hours. I just sat there with him. Think I read five books, and I ain’t exactly a readin’ type.

That next week, we did some other stuff, and it was good, ya know? We did couple-y shit. Went out to movies and had some food. We did all this touristy shit that Ippo had never actually done, ‘cause with his ma always workin’ and whatnot, and not havin’ his dad there, all he did was school before boxin.’

We, uh...listen, we’re all adults here, so I think I can tell ya that we tried to be...ya know...intimate, yeah? But the meds...fuck, he got so upset because he couldn’t really...um...we just couldn’t do it like we used to, ya know? And I remember this one night, he looked up at me all pouty - I felt so bad, because I knew he was upset, but he was fuckin’ adorable - and went, “Is it okay? Do you not want to be with me anymore? If I can’t do it with you?”

I gave him the biggest hug, and we just stayed there like that in the futon, with me strokin’ his hair and rubbin’ his back. Kissin’ him. Holdin’ him. Tellin’ him how I didn’t care about that shit, that it was fine, that it would get better and that we could try as much as he wanted, and we’d have all the other stuff, and I think I told him a hundred times that it didn’t matter to me.

Heh...then he really gave me a punch when I told him that his ma would probably be relieved we were keepin’ our hands to ourselves.

So.

They kept changin’ his meds. They’d get him into different therapies, and there were all these pills and brain scans and shit. And they said it was helping, that he was getting better, overall, but that it would still be a long road.

He continued askin,’ every time, to every person who would see him, “Can I box again?”

And they tell him not yet. Every time, and he’s just. A mess. Goes home to the beach and cries and I’d sit by him, and I’d tell him I was there, and he’d just...look at me. And I could tell he wasn’t sayin’ it, except with his eyes, that it wasn’t enough, that there was nothin’ I could do.

There was one pill they gave him that got him real fuzzy, and I...that was the worst, I think. Other than what came later.

He was in this fog, and shaky, and I found him outside staring at the leaves as they were falling. He was trying to catch them. Nothin’ crazy, just...reachin’ out for them, and he’d overshoot, or he’d come up short. And I come out there and I ask him, “Whatcha doin,’ Ippo?”

And he looks at me. Looks at me like he doesn’t quite know it’s me, and I can’t tell ya how I nearly fell over when he said, “Oh, Sendo...I...I thought if I...caught enough, they might tell me I could come back.”

I went out drinking that night. Alone. After he was asleep, and his mom was asleep, I just. Went down to this bar I knew was open and I started drinking. And I started doing that a couple of nights a week. And then it became most nights a week.

He caught me, though. Once. And once was enough, because he thought I was… thought I was seein’ someone, and he was so...him about it. “I get it! We’re young, right? It makes sense! You just do what you need to. I love you, Sendo.”

It hurt so fucking bad, because he kept sayin’ it. Sendo. Sendo. He never called me Takeshi anymore, and it killed me.

“There ain’t nobody else,” I tell him, shaking him a little, because I was still tipsy. “There ain’t never gonna be nobody else but you, hear me?”

He goes, “You don’t have to tell me…”

I yelled at him and said there was nothin’ to tell, and I said I was at the bar, and that...I wonder if that was worse. He got real quiet, and I felt like such a shithead, like I was wasting this one fucking lucid moment. And he said, so damn sad, so defeated. “Because of me.”

I...don’t really remember how the rest of that night went. The conversation kinda died. But I did stop goin’ to the bar mostly. Which was rough at first. I was sick.

And then there was the night of the storm. I just...I remember everythin’ about that night. It had been cool all day, and we could see the clouds roll in by the evening. His ma made Ippo’s favorites, because whenever he asked for ‘em, she did. He seemed real, real good. We were talkin.’ It was nice.

We went to bed early. He was tired, and after dinner he had gotten kinda low on mental energy too. We fell asleep together, and after a little bit, the storm hit. Usually I can sleep right through that shit, but that night...I woke up. I’m fucking glad because I always feel like I’m gonna throw up when I think, what if I didn’t?

Ippo was gone. I look all around the house, everywhere. I don’t wake up his ma yet. Don’t wanna panic her.

But I get outside, and I just make him out, since the big light stays on outside.

He’s on the boat.

He’s standin’ there, swayin.’ Hell, he looks half-asleep himself, and he’s goin’ through all these motions: liftin’ anchor, headin’ to the ropes, and the whole boat is rockin.’ And I call out to him, and he looks up at me.

And I see him fall.

I know...what happened, after that, in a general sense. But at the time, it was like I was seein’ it all from a camera on the back of my head. I ran and jumped over the side, into the water. I feel it pulling me, and I fight it, choking. And somehow, Ippo is floating, and I grab his shirt, and I start swimming. As hard as I can, rain pourin’ down into my eyes with the seawater, and eventually there’s just...it gets more shallow, and I’m crawlin’ on all fours onto the beach.

The only reason I can see him is because of the lightning. It’s so wild, and real, and he’s blinking up at me, right before I hurl an entire fuckin’ ocean amount of saltwater. And I yell, I’m like, “What were ya thinkin’?! What were ya gonna do, huh? Were ya gonna just go?!”

“I...I don’t know. I don’t…” His face gets all screwed up and he’s crying. “I don’t know...I don’t remember…”

We don’t get up and go until the storm stops, and we track in all this mud and sand. I remember bein’ at such a loss over everything that that makes me feel the guiltiest. That we’re messin’ up his ma’s place.

I get him in the shower...we’re in the shower together...and he says to me, and it ain’t the first time, but it is different, he says, “I really...I really need your help, Takeshi.”

And I hold him so tight, and I tell him I ain’t goin’ nowhere. Not now. Not ever.

...and that was last week, so…

I guess that’s how I’m doing.

---

Six months later:

“How was group?”

He’s waiting outside with a bag of the candy Sendo likes. He smiles his dopey Makunouchi smile, and Sendo kisses him before he answers, “It was all right. How was therapy?”

“It was good. I like this new one. She listens, and she’s given me a few new things to do without messing with my medication. And they said I could start running again, along with the thirty minutes a day.”

“Hey! That’s great, babe.” He picks up his hand and kisses that too. He nuzzles the ring on his finger, rubs his palm. “We can get back into it tomorrow, if ya want?”

He smiles. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. It’s been a while. And I thought maybe we could see if the guys want to do karaoke?”

“Oh god.” Sendo groans, taking one of the candies out. “They’re just gonna wanna do that one obnoxious song over and over…” He eats it, and then fishes out another and feeds it to him. He blushes. God, he’s cute.

“But that’s okay, right?” He rubs up against his side until Sendo puts an arm around him. “You don’t mind?”

Sendo buries his face into the top of his head, nodding, breathing him in. “Nah. Don’t mind at all.”

#my paperfics #hajime no ippo #ipposendo #ipposendou #makunouchi ippo #sendo takeshi #sendou takeshi #angst #so much angst #mental instability #mental health triggers

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donteattheappleshook · 5 years

Text

Stone Hearts

Chapter 5/15

Trust me. Nobody is more surprised by this update than I am.

Ao3 Ffn.net

Emma’s eyes flutter open slowly, still half asleep and not quite sure why she’s half awake. It’s a moment before she feels the bed shift beside her. Another moment passes and she hears a small whimper. She’s fully awake now as she turns quickly to face Killian. He’s tossing in his sleep, his eyes clamped shut and his brow pulled low, beads of sweat already gathering at his temples.

Another nightmare, she thinks. It’s the third one this week. They started as soon as they returned from the Underworld. There had been a brief respite for a week or so after the incident at the bar when work was driving him to the end of his rope and he collapsed in bed before the sun went down, too tired to sleep. But now, it seems that even exhaustion can’t keep the dreams at bay.

“Killian,” she speaks quietly, shushes him as she runs the back of her fingers over his damp forehead and down along the side of his cheek. “Wake up, Killian, it’s just a dream, you’re safe.” She knows from experience that her words will do little to help him as she hears another strained whimper escape his lips, jaw clenched painfully tight. She brings her hands to his hair and runs them soothingly through it as she continues to try to coax him awake.

It’s another moment before he gasps, eyes snapping open as he lets out a cry that has her heart stuttering in her chest as he sits up in bed. His shoulders are tense, eyes darting madly about as though looking for whatever threat pursued him in his dreams. She sits up with him, places a hand on his shoulder and doesn’t take it personally when he flinches away before his eyes focus on her and the tension leaves his body. He groans, collapsing back on his pillow, chest still heaving.

“It’s okay,” Emma tells him gently wrapping him up in her arms.

“It’s bloody not,” he answers somewhat bitterly but he lets himself be pulled into her, laying his head on her chest and allowing his hair to be stroked like a child. He feels like a child and she knows it, he’s said it before. “They won’t stop,” his voice is bitter, angry and a bit defeated. Her chest aches for him.

“They will,” she promises. She knows he hates it. It’s killing him, feeling weak, feeling powerless. But what he went through… he died. And after he died, he was tortured. And then he died all over again. Of course that would affect him. She’s noticed his efforts. He’s stopped drinking; he tried to start running with Henry (and hated it choosing instead to teach the boy to sword fight), he’s even been to see Hopper, anything to help him get a solitary night of peace and rest. Nothing has worked and she feels impotent and powerless to help the man she loves.

“You guys okay?” Henry’s voice speaks up quietly from the crack between the door and the hallway. He sounds sleepy but also worried.

“Yeah, kid, we’re okay,” Emma tells him. “Come on in.”

They shift, making room for Henry to climb up on the foot of the bed. Maybe he’s a bit old to be climbing into bed with his mom and his quazi step-dad but they’re all a little vulnerable lately and Emma loves that he’s still on that cusp between childhood and adolescence where he feels okay seeking comfort like this. She knows it won’t last much longer.

Killian sits up with his back against the headboard. “Sorry I woke you, Lad.” he rubs a hand over his face, scraping through his hair.

“It’s okay,” Henry answers. “I wasn’t sleeping much either.”

Emma runs her hand through her son’s hair and kisses the top of it. She’s pretending not to notice that he’s gotten it cut in a style suspiciously similar to Killian’s.

“Was it another nightmare?” Henry asks and Killian nods. “Have you tried rewriting it?” he suggests and Killian frowns.

“What do you mean?” he asks and Henry looks to Emma.

“It’s something mom and I used to do when I was little. Or well, technically we didn’t since I guess those were all made up memories from when we were cursed in New York but it always helped when I had nightmares.”

Emma smiles at him. Rewriting them. She’d forgotten all about it - or well not really since technically she never really did it in the first place but that’s semantics. But she does remember the nights when she was a child, alone, in the system, dreaming horrible things, some real and some not, and she remembers trying to rewrite them, telling herself a happier story so that she could go back to sleep and let her dreams at least be a place she felt safe and happy.

“What does it entail?” Killian asks a little suspicious but sounding open to just about anything.

“First you tell us about your nightmare.” Killian looks hesitant but Henry continues. “Then we scratch it out and give it a different ending.

Killian still looks apprehensive but after a moment he starts to speak. “We were on the Jolly,” he looks to Emma who smiles encouragingly. “We were going to have a picnic. But then,” he takes a breath. “But then suddenly we weren’t on the water at the Storybrooke docks. We were back there.” His fist clenches a bit and she knows he means the Underworld. “We were on the river of lost souls and it was angry. All of them were so angry and they rocked the ship and they ripped the boards and I tried to fight them off but they were like smoke beneath my blade.” He reaches out then and takes her hand, holding it tighter than is comfortable but she doesn’t complain. “They took you. They took you and they pulled you under and I couldn’t stop them. And the ship, it took on water and it sank and I could feel them coming for me. Pulling at my legs, pulling me under and I felt the water fill my lungs and I knew I was dead but I was still there, watching it all happen, watching them take everything they could from me, watching you float lifeless next to me.”

He stops speaking, voice cracking and Emma wraps herself around him, placing a kiss to his shoulder. Even Henry doesn’t protest, his face screwed up in concern rather than disgust at his mom and her boyfriend’s show of affection.

“I knew all their faces,” he says so quietly she almost doesn’t hear him.

“Let’s rewrite it,” Emma says, turning to Henry who nods, contemplating.

“So you’re on the river of lost souls.” Killian looks at him, waiting. “And you see the souls moving in the water, coming towards you so you draw your sword ready to fight off whatever might be coming for you.” Killian frowns and so does Emma. This story does not sound like a happier version of his nightmare so far. “But they don’t come for you. They just float. They’re just lost souls wandering aimlessly. So you reach in. If they’re lost, they need finding. Our family finds people - it’s what we do.” Emma doesn’t miss the slight hitch in Killian’s breathing at Henry’s casual reference to him as family. “You get hold of one and pull it out.” He looks to Killian. “Who is it?”

Killian hesitates, looks to Emma almost in apology but she knows who it is and she nods at him to go on. “Milah,” he says almost in a whisper. Emma squeezes his hand. She understands.

“Let’s give her a lift,” Emma suggests. “Make our way to the bridge and let her move on.”

Killian nods, hesitates. “There are others…”

“Who’s the next one?” Henry asks.

“Balefire,” he answers softly. One by one, the people he’s lost, those he betrayed, those he abandoned and those who left him, the demons he had to face in his own personal purgatory are pulled from the water and one by one they find their peace.

Emma looks between her son and the man she loves, heart swelling at how strong the bond between them has gotten without her even noticing. She knows Killian takes care of Henry, loves him and will always watch out for him, but it’s nice to see that Henry feels the same.

It takes another week but eventually the nightmares stop. And every night that week, Henry and Emma are there, rewriting.

*********

Emma looked down from where she was currently climbing a freaking beanstalk with a handsome, somewhat roguish pirate that seemed incapable of shutting up. Don’t do that again she told herself. Instead, she focused on his voice, the lilt of his accent and the teasing tone as he accused her of being an open book.

“No, I have never been in love,” she told him but somehow it felt like a lie.

Jesus Christ how on earth could one man make first aid so confusingly arousing?

When they took out a goddamn giant she refused to acknowledge the giant flutter of panic when she couldn’t see him down below her and the tiny flutter in her chest when he told her they made quite the team.

She forced herself to squirm away as he held her tightly against him, pointing out the trip wire and ignoring the fact that she quite enjoyed the way she could feel the muscles in his arms wrapped around her.

Finally, when she pulled him out from under the rocks, ignoring the heat of his hand in hers and the pull in her stomach at his smile “you are blood brilliant, amazing!”

And there he waited on bended knee, offering her a hand and a chance at something. She wasn’t sure what that something was and it scared her. She knew she shouldn’t trust him, knew that she couldn’t take the chance that she was wrong about him, knew she should lock him up and leave him behind. But when her palm touched his and she saw the tentative smile pull at his lips… she decided, just this once, to trust herself.

She used their hands to pull him closer, catching him off guard as he tumbled forward and she caught his lips with hers. He let out a surprised ‘umph’ before leaning in and returning her kiss with enthusiasm. Emma didn’t know if it was the high of success, the tiny flutter of hope that he had stirred in her, or just that he was so goddamn gorgeous but she let herself “really get into it” just as he’d encouraged her to earlier.

She felt herself smile a little as they broke apart, certain he would have some sort of quip or innuendo for her and almost looking forward to it, but when she opened her eyes, her heart fell into her stomach.

His face was blank, no recognition in his eyes, no hint of the man he’d been a moment ago, the man who’d kissed her, the man who’d made her believe that maybe she could trust people. There was nothing.

“Killian?” she asked, voice small, surprising herself by the use of his real name.

His face remained unchanged as he reached forward and clamped his fingers around her throat. She panicked, hands clawing and clutching at his own as her eyes began to water and her vision went blurry. There was no rage in his expression, no hatred, no vengeance as he squeezed the life out of her. Killian was gone.

Emma gasped awake, hand reaching for her throat. She could still feel his hand there, still see the deadness in his eyes, the indifference. She heard movement coming from the door and looked up to see him, Killian - not Killian - watching her. There was no concern in his eyes, no fear or worry. Not even the slightest shred of emotion crossed his features as he looked her over through the tiny window in the door, clearly realised she’d been dreaming, and turned back around to man his post.

It hurt. More than the fingers at her throat had, more than the blankness of his stare in her dream had. Because this was real. It’s not him, she told herself. But that didn’t didn’t dull the pain or the cold that settled in her chest and spread its way through her limbs. She curled her knees to her chest on the thin mattress and let a few tears fall at the memory of nightmares and the family she had not long ago.

“Once upon a time,” she started, rocking herself slightly and convincing herself it was just to try force some heat back into her bones. “There was a girl with walls a mile high and a boy who climbed a beanstalk to get over them.” She smiles to herself a little, allowing herself the warmth of the memory of Killian, of how he’d persisted, how he’d won her, without trickery. She continues speaking, recounting how he’d bandanged her hand and she’d felt cared for and taken care of for the first time in her life. She reminds herself of what a team they’d made and how she realised that just maybe she didn’t have to fight every battle on her own. She laughs through her realisation that the attraction was definitely not one-sided as she felt him react to being pulled against her when he nearly triggered the trip wire. She smiles to herself as she recalls how he’d supported her, sung her praises, appreciating her strength and her intelligence rather than being turned off by it as so many men had before him.

“And he reached out his hand and I could see it in his eyes, the fear and the hope. And that was when I realised that while I’d started to believe that I could hope again, that there was someone else out there like me… that maybe he’d been waiting for the same thing, waiting for someone to trust him, to find him.”

She stopped, overwhelmed by the memory and the grief of their love story, of losing him. She didn’t want to cry anymore but she didn’t hate herself for it anymore either. She knew now that it wasn’t a weakness. She knew because of him. Promise me one thing, if I helped take off that armor, don't put it back on just because you're gonna lose me.

“And?”

She froze, his voice cutting through the silence and making her heart race though whether in fear or in hope she didn’t know. He spoke. He spoke again. What did that mean? What was he asking?

“And?” she repeated, hoping for clarification. She didn’t get any. And. And. it dawned on her then and she realised he was asking for the rest of the story. She wanted to read into it, wanted to hope but she was too tired, too beat down and too many times disappointed to let herself.

Instead, she let out a bitter laugh. “They lived happily ever after.”

There was another long, weighted silence and she assumed he’d lost interest, but then he spoke again, his voice softer, barely audible.

“They didn’t, did they?”

The tears fell freely now. “No, they didn’t.”

***

Emma threw a book against the door and almost smiled as it made a satisfying sort of crash against the metal. Useless. This was all fucking useless. None of these books were going to tell her how to do something impossible! She was the product of true love for fucks sake! She was born with a built in anti-theft device on her heart and no book was going to tell her how to break the laws of magic.

“What the hell does the king even need with my heart anyway?” she practically shouted at not-Killian. He stayed silent. “Oh yeah, that’s right,” she sassed. “You only speak in cryptic little phrases and questions when it’s convenient for you.” She rolled her eyes at his continued, predictable silence. She threw another book, this one nearly hitting the window where she could see the point of his ear and the flippy bits of hair beneath it. He didn’t flinch and Emma armed herself with another book.

She raised it, aimed and ready to fire when suddenly she noticed the title. She knew this book. She’d seen this book. It was one of Regina’s that she’d leafed through it in the crypt when she’d been practicing magic. It was a book of protection spells, the type of protection spells that had been cast around the border of Storybrooke on rotation since she’d first arrived. She ran her hand over the heavy red leather of it’s cover before opening it and starting to read.

She read for nearly three hours. Some of it she couldn’t make out but some of it she was able to decipher.

“Ah-ha!” she shouted, forgetting herself when she found it. She panicked as she heard movement coming from outside her door, saw not-Killian turning to see what the disturbance was. Quickly she dropped the book, making a show of trying to catch it and making a few more loud exclamations before it landed with a thud at her feet. Her guard stared at her for a moment and the moment lasted just long enough to make her worry that he hadn’t bought her poorly executed ruse. But, finally, his face as blank as ever, he turned his back on her again and she let out a sigh of relief.

Picking up the book, she quickly flipped to the page she’d found, reading silently this time. There it was, the spell, the spell keeping all of them trapped here in Storybrooke, the one that felt like running into a solid brick wall when you tried to cross the border.

She scanned the page quickly and her heart sunk so she read it again slower. Damn. Damn, damn, damn. If she read it right, and she was pretty sure she did, the spell could only be taken down by the one who cast it. ‘Stupid fucking magic laws’ she grumbled to herself somewhat despodent. So even if she and Henry did find a way out of this place they would still be stuck in town, right back where they started from a few days ago - only now even more alone.

She wanted to scream, cry out again, do something, hit something, anything to get this anger and frustration out of her body. Why? Why was there always something? Was six months really all she was allowed? Was that the deal as the savior? Was she cursed to never be happy, to never be safe?

She noticed movement through the window in her door as the cuff was held up, followed by a quick succession of rapps on the door. Henry! It was time for her to see Henry! She’d lost track of time but was suddenly more grateful than she had ever been in her life for this brief moment of humanity that Gold had allowed her - even if she still fantasized about separating his head from his shoulders.

Quick as she could, she ripped the page out of the book and crumpled it in the pocket of her jacket and jumped up to retrieve the cuff from the slot in the door. Once it was secure, she held her arm up to the window and the door was swung open. The man on the other side looked indifferent and unaware of her theft but then that was always his expression so she just had to hope he hadn’t seen her.

She stepped out and the hand that didn’t belong to Killian anymore resumed its place on her shoulder. She didn’t know whether to shutter or melt under the touch but she settled for tensing every muscle in her body and trying to ignore the memory of it’s warmth and the truth of its emptiness.

They walked to Henry’s room without a word passing between them apart from the warning of “five minutes” that she expected. She gave the door a warning knock.

“Hey kid it’s me, don’t shoot!” she called as she swung the door open.

“How do I know?” Henry called as she walked in, slingshot held at the ready.

She smiled. Sometimes she was just so damn proud that she made him. She shut the door and cast a quick glance behind her before whispering “Princess Bride.”

Henry lowered his weapon and whispered “Goldeneye” before running to wrap his arms around her with such force that he actually knocked her back against the door.

“Woah, kid, you’re getting strong!”

“I’ve been getting ready,” he told her. “There’s nothing to do so I’ve been doing push ups, pull ups, running, whatever I can. When it’s time to go, I’ll be ready,” he promised. She knew that it was more than that, more than a few days workout. He was growing up and the last few months of their lives had been particularly physically demanding but his voice was strong and certain and Emma felt a renewed sense of purpose, the one that appeared the first time she met Henry and that swelled within her each time she saw him.

“Good job,” she told him. “You’re okay? They’re not hurting you?” she checked his face and arms for any signs of harm and then his cheeks and eyes for any signs of exhaustion. “Are you getting fed enough? I can sneak you some of mine next time--”

“Mom, I’m okay. You need to eat too you know. Listen,” he told her, pulling her into his arms to whisper in her ear through the guise of a hug. “Ruby’s outside the window, she’s been here the whole time. We have a plan. They never watch me - except sometimes Archie but possessed or not he’s a wimp. If you can get out of your cell and get to us, we can do the rest.

Emma nodded and just let herself hold her son for the last few minutes she had left. She whispered promises that she would get them out and out of Storybrooke and he whispered that he knew she would. Before she was ready, the door was opened again and it was time to go.

The walk back felt longer, not just in the emotional sense but in a very real, very physical sense. Emma’s muscles felt like they were failing her as she tried to put one foot in front of the other and the hand on her shoulder felt like a weight she couldn’t support. The hallway stretched out before her, growing, it seemed, impossibly longer and suddenly it turned on its axis and Emma saw black spots in front of her eyes. She was gonna be sick. She was gonna be sick and she held her stomach as her feet gave out under her and she swayed towards the ground.

She didn’t hit the ground though. Killian was there, suddenly, quicker than she could have been, catching her - like muscle memory - holding her up before slowly lowering her to a seating position on the floor, his arms wrapped tightly around her and one hand in hers as he crouched behind her. For a brief, fleeting second, she felt the familiarity of the embrace, felt the somewhat muted heartbeat pressed against her back, felt the warmth of his chest and his breath on her neck and it felt like Killian, it felt like home.

She turned to meet his eyes as the blackness cleared from her own and she was met with the blue she had always loved. But behind it there was nothing. No concern, no love, no support. Muscle memory. That’s all it had been. She felt sick all over again and she ripped herself out of his hold, shoving him with as much force as she could despite still feeling wobbly and weak. She rose to her feet and began walking.

She felt a hand on her elbow and jerked her arm free. “I’m fine! Probably just weak since you guys only feed me once a day,” she snapped. “I hope you’re feeding Henry more or you can tell Gold that he’ll have me to answer to,” she threatened, trying to keep her heart from beating out of her chest at both her barely contained rage and the renewed grief that seemed to find her every time she was near him. Gold really outdid himself this time. This kind of cruelty took dedication.

There was a brief pause before she felt the hand fall on her shoulder again and she whirled on him, rage seeping out of every inch of her being.

“Don’t touch me!” she shouted. “Don’t touch me with his hand! With his hand that you stole, from him, from me! Don’t you fucking dare! You killed him! And I promise you I’ll kill Gold and the King and then when I’m done I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you for taking him from me!”

There was a long, silent pause as Emma stood, panting in the hallway, watching him, daring him to do something, say something, react. But there was nothing. He hesitated, hand hanging in the space between them for a moment, before lowering it back to his side and continuing to walk. Emma steadied her breathing before following along behind him.

A few hours later, when Emma’s meal was slid through the slot in the door, she could have sworn there was more on her plate than yesterday.

She couldn’t sleep that night. She was too annoyed. Annoyed at herself mostly because she couldn’t for the life of her stop thinking about that moment when for the first time in what felt like forever she found herself wrapped in the arms of the man she loved. It wasn’t him. She knew that. But her body didn’t and her body had been denied his touch and his comfort for far too long and like an addict it only craved more now that it had had a taste.

She could hear him, breathing on the other side of the door. Did he never sleep? He breathed too loudly. Killian never breathed too loudly - except those few nights where he would sleep so soundly he snored.

“You know,” she started. “It’s really creepy, you standing out there, listening to me not sleep.” He was silent. Of course he was, he only spoke to her in the middle of the night when she was telling stories or -

“What happened next?” It was soft but she heard it. His voice through the door. It only took her a second to piece together her confusion and realise he was asking her about the story from last night - their story. He remembered it? He cared about it? No, he didn’t care. He was probably just trying to get information. Probably. Definitely. Probably. He had to be.

The silence drew out between them as they both waited for the other to say something or do something. Emma made a decision. She didn’t know what she hoped to accomplish or why she was such a masochist but she had to try. If his asking meant something, if there was the tiniest chance that she could gain a bit of him back, even that bit of him that seemed to know to catch her, to support her… she had to try.

“Her son was taken and it broke her heart. So he gave up who he was, gave up the darkness that had been driving him for centuries and helped her. He chose her, and he never looked back.”

She told him the story: of Neverland, of Echo Cave, of the kiss, of him promising to win her heart, of the two of them bringing Henry home - and through all of it he listened. He never said a word, never interrupted but she could hear his steady breathing and see the point of his ear, angled towards the door. He listened.

“You know,” she said into the silence, the quiet weighed down with her heavy eyelids and whatever unspoken thing was going on between them. “You can open the door.” She hesitated. “It’s not like I can get out without the cuff… and this room is really claustrophobic.”

He was quiet for so long she thought she had lost him but then the door opened and she held her breath as he walked into view and sat down in the opening, with his back against the door frame. He didn’t look at her, just sat silently, stoically staring at the wall across from him, waiting.

She told him about Marty McFly.

#cs #cs fanfic #captain swan #ouat fanfic #cs smut #i can't believe i actually updated this #after a year #I'm so sorry!

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