#totally myself whenever I’m alone and it I get to be alone a lot more now!!! it’s so so so good

[ireallyamthemaincharacter]

Dude this is so me fr

#this is the autistic narcopath rep I wanna see in the world #that’s a joke btw i have no idea if the creator has pd’s lol but this video really sums up my whole deal #it used to really bother my friends in high school when I would just mirror bc they would be like “hey do you like *insert movie here*” #and I would say “Yeah omg it was super good!” and then agree with them about it and everything #and they eventually caught on to the fact that I almost never saw/liked the same films as them. or actors or shows or books or or or #lemme tell you it was SUCH a relief to finally let go of all those friendships with the excuse of “outgrowing each other”. i get to be #totally myself whenever I’m alone and it I get to be alone a lot more now!!! it’s so so so good #i hate masking I hate mirroring imagine being behind the counter of a store 24/7 365 and having to do ur customer service thing always #that’s life for me. utterly exhausting #npd tag #aspd tag #autism

[dameare]

Personal Brand of Heater | Jacob Black x Fem!Reader (Oneshot)

Word count: 1,899

Summary: The first time I had kissed Jacob was entirely an accident. That was how I wanted to think about it, at least.

Silly notes: So... it was 4am... and it was cold, so at the time writing this made a lot of sense. Plus I was lonely and destructively pining for the one and only, Jacob Black. *hands you this fic* Enjoy!

The first time I had kissed Jacob was entirely an accident. That was how I wanted to think about it, at least.

Winter was just by the horizon, approaching with a certain quiet inevitability, and a blanket of darkness was beginning to unfurl itself across the landscape—and Forks, being the cold and sleepy town that it was, made the first hints of a wintry burden a lot more obvious.

So it was cold. And it was just that there was something about cuddling with Jacob in the middle of the night that did it for me. It made total sense: I was freezing, and Jacob was hot. Literally. Like my personal brand of heater. And maybe I also liked him a little bit. Or a little too much. Or maybe I was in-love. It was the only explanation, even though before what had happened I'd hardly given myself enough time to even name what I'd started to feel for Jake.

It sounded stupid at first, being in-love with Jake. There was no way. But the more I thought about it, the more convinced and horrified I became. That stupid fluttery feeling in my stomach whenever Jake looked at me. I'd thought about the way my chest sometimes felt like it was going to explode when he hugged me, or the way my stomach dropped and twisted at the thought of Jacob hugging a different woman that wasn’t me. God, I was in-love. Of course I was. But even that wasn’t reasonable enough to accidentally kiss him.

So when I had had the clever idea of hitting Jacob up to “hang out” at two in the morning and he didn’t reply, I'd assumed that would be the end of it, and that I would have to curl up in bed, alone and feverish from the chills the night brought.

But that wasn’t the case, and I had only realised this when Jacob was already launching himself through my second-story window and then into my room with a stealthy thud. The dumbass.

I looked at him, stunned. “Jake, what the hell?”

“Whew, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Jacob said, a wide and pleasant grin of mockery spreading across his face—the one that made my stomach do the dumb flip thing. GAH. “I’m sure you don’t really mind.”

“I don’t,” I said automatically. I wasn't stunned at seeing him anymore, because he wasn’t wearing a shirt and I was stunned at something else instead. The pale moonlight sneaking in through my open window made his russet skin look richer. He looked ethereal. The dangerous kind of ethereal. “Do you ever get cold?” I asked dumbly, trying to shift my focus.

Jacob laughed. “Didn’t you already ask that before?”

“I did? Maybe I forgot.” And maybe I had also forgotten how to talk.

He opened his mouth, looking like he was about to crack a joke, but something made him change his expression. Instead, worry creased his forehead, and he inched closer to me.

He was huge, and he leaned over me, so huge that his shadow made my little room look darker. I was looking up at him, completely overwhelmed—my head was pounding and my chest was freaking out and the fever, which I had momentarily forgotten about ever since he came in, came hitting me again. I swayed unsteadily, legs going slightly limp. Jacob grabbed me easily by the waist. “Hey, hey. Is everything okay?” He whispered anxiously, slowly easing me towards the edge of the bed. “You’re shivering, why didn’t you tell me you were sick? Are you cold?”

I only managed to nod before my legs gave way, plopping into a weak heap on the bed.

His hand was really warm. “Jesus christ, you’re freezing. Don’t you have a heater somewhere?”

I shivered uselessly on the bed, delirious. He watched me for one long moment, hesitating. Then he snuck to my side and began settling down onto the bed, and before I could even begin to protest, his arms were already wrapped around me—one arm under my head and the other tightly snug around my waist. And then I wasn't protesting anymore.

I let my head rest against his bare chest. “You’re so warm,” I muttered, the words muffled out by his chest. The heat was so inviting, so comfortable that I didn’t want to pull away. Not that I could ever, even if I had the energy to. The warmth seeped into my skin, the icy grips of the night slowly melting away.

Jacob chuckled, pleased. “That better? Don’t move too much, alright. Save your energy for me. I’ll warm you up.”

“What about you?” I exhaled heavily. “You’re going to freeze.”

“Not really,” he promised. “Hey, say, why don’t you try sleeping? What’s kept you up this late?”

I thought for a second. "Hypothetically," I said, my mind gaining clarity. "If you weren't a werewolf anymore and you lived in the city, what's the first thing you'd do?"

I felt his chest stop at a chuckle, and then there was silence. When it dragged on for a moment too long, I tilted my head to look at his expression. He was staring into the distance, where I'd put up a bunch of city photos for my vision board. His eyes seemed to light up. "If I weren't a werewolf anymore," he mused. "I'd try out all the burgers in the city and check out what they sell in Walmart. I heard they sell weird stuff there... and then maybe I'd go shopping in one of those big malls... get a job... go to a university."

I snorted. "Wow okay, I understand the rest, but Walmart? Really?"

"Don't judge me," he met my eyes, suddenly defensive. He smiled playfully and pushed my hair out of my face. "Let's hear yours. If you decided to live in the city, away from... all of this. What would you do?"

There was hardly any need to think, because it was all I ever thought about during my first summer in Forks. And it was hardly even a summer, really, because it rained all the time and it was still cold even on the good days where the sun was slightly more visible. "I would live by myself in the city, in a small apartment. Like a normal person," I said, wincing at the last part, because all things considered, I thought the word *normal* just didn't exist in Forks anymore, and saying it felt like a major offense. He nodded, and I went on, "I would go to bookstores and those loud concerts... and then go for a late night drive after, you know? Just drive for hours without a destination. It kind of sounds nice. It's like surrendering all your worries for one night. I think that kind of freedom would make me feel lighter."

I watched his face. He laughed at first, saying, "Your answer makes mine look like child's play."

"I'd try out every burger with you, and go to every Walmart conceivable." I offered.

"You'd do that?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

He grinned. "Well, I'd carry your books for you, and I'd drive you across the city for as long as you want. Sounds fair?"

"So it's a promise." I smirked.

"Hah well, not that my being a werewolf can stop me from making you happy," he said. Then he tightened his grip just a bit and lifted me effortlessly, setting me on top of him. "Is this better?"

I hummed a yes, suddenly finding it very, very difficult to breathe. "You're... really warm," I sighed.

He smiled softly. It looked so much better up close, so much so that my stomach did that weird flippy thing again. "You said that earlier. Although," a sheen of mischief lit his eyes up, "if you want to feel warmer you could always just take your clothes off."

"Jacob," I warned, a smile threatening to break out of my face. "Shut up, will you?"

"Survival one-oh-one," he teased.

"Saying that isn't really a friends thing."

He raised one eyebrow, curious. "Oh so taking your clothes off is where you draw the line?"

"Like every sane person, ever, duh."

"Well, cuddling like this isn't really a friends thing either," he retorted.

My face flushed red. "What do you mean?"

"The way I hold you," he said quietly, with a sudden hint of seriousness to his voice. "Is this how friends are supposed to roll?" He asked, his face speculative.

I stayed quiet. I wasn't breathing again. It was the question, and maybe the way the gentle glow of the moon was casted upon his face. His eyes twinkled in the light, like pools of rich and velvety chocolate. He was sort of beautiful that I didn't want to breathe ever again. He stared right through me, watchful and interested. His eyelashes fluttered as he blinked, and our breaths mixed with how close our faces were. It was so warm and so right.

My gaze flickered from his eyes to his mouth, then back again. His mouth tugged up at one corner, as if he had the faintest idea of what I was thinking—and maybe, just maybe, he thought the same.

It was slow, but also quick in a weird way—not quick as in like something in the heat of the moment, but quick enough that I couldn't register what was happening, and slow enough for me to remember every single detail—slow enough for me to conclude that it really wasn't an accident.

His hand gently made its way to the small of my back. He rubbed gently, and I leaned in, our faces inching even closer; I could hear my heartbeat loud against my chest, so loud maybe he'd heard it too. But his eyes were fixed, mesmerised as I moved in. Our noses touched and he inched to the side, nudging forward with the tip of his chin; he glanced at my mouth, then flickered quickly back to my eyes.

There was a momentary pause where our faces both hovered, so close and mellow and sure, and I ached in anticipation. I stole one more glance at his mouth, and then I was sighing into the kiss, the aches and worries leaving my body. His lips were hot, and it scorched against mine, but god he was so gentle—like a gentle rush of air through leaves. The kiss stayed warm and slow, almost exploratory, but there was also a sliver of hunger shoved in between—like Jacob had been dying to do this for a while, and when he finally did he couldn't stop anymore. My lower lip caught delicately in his teeth, and he sucked on it; I allowed him, because I loved exploring his mouth just as much—in an almost obsessive manner. My tongue wandered, the pleasant taste of something woodsy settling into my mouth.

When we pulled apart, it was with soft gasps and fitful smiles and chuckles. He patted my head. "Was that also a friends thing?"

"Nothing about us is friendly," I finally admitted.

"So that means...?"

"I want to be your girlfriend, Jake."

His face stretched out into a huge grin. It was contagious. "Took you long enough, my little moon."

"Is that a yes?" I pinched him lightly.

He chuckled. "Do you want to go at it again for an answer?"

#twilight saga #jacob black #the twilight saga #edward cullen #jacob black x reader #jacob black fluff #fluff #twilight fluff #twilight imagine #jacob black imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #oneshot #self insert #imprint #breaking dawn #twilight new moon #twilight eclipse #twilight revival #the cullens

[maximumsass]

Green Eyes of Envy Pt. 4

Synopsis: It’s yours and Mel’s first happy hour with the Abbott crew as a couple. You still haven’t told anyone but of course are discretely touching and glancing at each other every chance you get. But of course the night doesn’t go quite as planned and you have to decide whether you’ll defend the redhead’s honor or if you hold back and let her defend yours. Let’s just say it gets physical possibly in the good way and the not so good way. What will go down at the Abbott happy hour, keep reading to find out!

Author’s Note: Hi my lovely fanfic village! So I was inspired to write this because we all know how Melissa is already ready for a fight but what happens when the situation arises where she could fight for the reader or the tables are turned and the reader fights for her. I think it’s an interesting story because so far we’ve seen the really sweet, petite, cutesy, and caring reader and this possibly puts the reader into a don’t fuck with me or my girl role. But will Melissa even allow that??!! It was a lot of fun for me to write. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. Let me know what you think! And please send me any requests that you have! Lots of love and all da hugs! 💜

Warning: I use handicapped as a slur. I want to preface this by saying that I am not trying to offend anyone or upset anyone. Please don’t come for me or cancel me. I promise I mean no one any harm. I myself have several physical disabilities, so I’m seriously not trying to upset the disability community. I’m purely using it for the plot. I hope y’all understand.. Also SMUTT and of course as always FLUFF!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Word Count: 3.75K

You and the Abbott crew had gone out for drinks after school. It had been a few weeks since Mel had ended things with Gary. You and the redhead were trying to take things slow but given the fact that you two couldn’t keep your hands off of each other whenever you were alone together made it very challenging to say the least. Okay fine…you two had participated in some adult extra cirricular activities. But hey as we teachers say it has helped make us well rounded individuals in that aspect of our lives.

You both are on high alert to keep the PDA to the barest of minimums in front of your coworkers. You feel Melissa’s hand intentionally slide down your back, making sure not to miss your butt, and dropping her hand right next to yours and hooking her pinky with yours.

You give her a big smirk and chuckle quietly to yourself. “Hi I’ll have a Sour Monkey and she’ll have a Victory classic, please. And then whatever else she orders, please put in on my tab.” You hand the bartender your card and smile. “Thanks so much, I appreciate you.” You say to the bartender as she hands you your drinks. You hand the redhead her drink and lift up your own. “To having a great night with the most gorgeous woman in the world. Cheers.” You say as you look at her with immense affection.

“Cheers pretty girl.” She says to you with a big cheesy grin on her face as she squeezes your hand as you clink glasses.

“What’s got you smiling so big Melissa? I didn’t even know you were capable of looking like that!” Ava teases as she slides in beside us.

“None ya business!” The redhead quips at Ava, the big smile totally gone, replaced by her infamous today is not the day and I am not the one death glare.

Ava looks at the redhead cleary trying to decide whether to poke the bear more or not. To keep that from happening you jump in with a funny antidote that happened with one of your kiddos this week. And thankfully the conversation stays civil. You are trying to pay attention to what’s being said and throw in your two cents here and there but you can’t take your eyes off of Jessica Rabbit, it’s like you’ve been hypnotized and whenever you’re even in the same vicinity as each other your brain turns to silly putty and you become this little drooling love sick puppy. It makes you cringe just admitting that to yourself.

You hear a deep loud voice in the background and it snaps you back into reality. You look around and you see Gary talking to Gregory. Weird you think to yourself, maybe it’s just a coincidence that he’s at this bar. You look at him a few more seconds before focusing your attention back on Ava and Melissa.

“There you are!” Gary exclaims to Melissa. He has somehow managed to get right next to her. “I just wanted to come and see for myself.”

All three of us have a what the hell is he talking about look on our faces.

“What are you talking about Gary?” Melissa asks in an exasperated tone.

“Well I have people who have been telling me they’ve seen you around with someone. And I just had to come see for myself. And here she is right in front of my very eyes. You picked a handicapped bitch over me. Figures you’d pick a charity case for your next go around.” He practically declares to the whole bar.

You scoff in disbelief that this is actually happening right now. “Ava, hold this for me please.” You say as you take off your earrings and hand them and your ring to her. “Excuse me, what did you just call me?” You say as you cut in between him and Melissa and give him a little shove to get him away from her. You step towards him with your arms crossed. Gary looks stunned at what you’ve just done.

“What’s that matter? Are you just now realizing how offensive what just came out of your mouth was? Oh my gosh I just remembered what you said. I believe you called me a handicapped bitch who’s Melissa’s charity case. A very colorful description if I do say so myself. But here’s the thing just like you just stated she picked the handicapped bitch of a charity case over you, and I bet that just nearly demolished any ego that you had about yourself. Here’s the other thing big guy she’s been screaming my name every night since she left you…how long has that been? Oh yeah three weeks. And I bet it made you feel really proud of yourself when you got her to do that with you that one time. So I’d say when we compare the two, she made the right choice to choose the handicapped bitch of a charity case. You’ve seen us, now get the fuck out of this bar. And I advise you to not use that disgusting, hateful language towards anyone else.” You say inches away from his face.

You turn to walk back to your place at the bar when you hear him go. “What did you even just say to me? I didn’t understand a word.” And then proceeds to talk gibberish as he imitates your speech impairment.

Meanwhile back at the bar Melissa is squaring up Ava.

“Melissa, I’m not denying that I’m scared of you because we both know I am, but I have several inches on you and will use them. If you try to get involved in what’s going on over there. I cannot have two of my people getting involved in a bar brawl, especially a beloved veteran teacher such as yourself.” Ava says quietly to the redhead while getting as close as possible to her in case she needs to grab her if she tries lunging towards you and Gary.

“You heard what he just said to her, he needs to know that no one talks to her like that and lives to see another day!” Melissa exclaims with fury in her eyes and she is about to do whatever it takes to make Gary pay.

Thankfully Barb magically appears by Melissa’s side. “You need to get ahold of yourself and walk away. I don’t know what is going on between you and (Y/N) but the way you two have been making love eyes at each other for weeks now I assume has something to do with why she’s taking on Gary. She’s made her bed and now she has to lie in it, the best thing for you to do is to come with me so that you are able to take care of her when this chaos ends.” Barb says in a low voice so only Melissa can hear. Despite the fury boiling in her right now, Melissa knows that Barb’s right and she goes still and lets the brunette lead her to the other end of the bar.

You pause and scoff to yourself and then you are not in control anymore and you see red, you whip back around and proceed to punch him as hard as you can square in the jaw and he immediately drops to the floor. You scramble to him and straddle his chest as one hand is on his throat and the other is gripping his face forcing him to look at you. “Stay the fuck away from her! Got it big guy?!” You scream at him. You push his face away forcefully as you get off of him and stand up and take a few steps out of his reach. You look around you, it’s like the bar had frozen in time, everyone in the bar was staring at you in a collective look of disbelief, and silence that covered the place like a gray smog.

“Sorry for the commotion y’all. I will just close out my tab and let y’all enjoy the rest of your night.” You announce to the bar, you hold up your hands to gesture you mean no harm.

You walk back to your place at the bar. “I’m so sorry about what happened. Honestly I wasn’t on planning on getting physical with the guy. But whew he took me back to childhood trauma with the playground bullies. And as Mel says my fight or fight response was triggered and I guess that was the end result. I totally understand if you don’t want me to come back, and I will respect that.” You say to the bartender as you tip and sign the receipt.

The bartender reaches for your arm. “Honey if I was in your shoes as soon as he started saying that filth to you, he’d been knocked out. So I respect the level of control you had during the confrontation. If anyone is getting banned from the bar it’s that dirt bag. You are welcome back any time. Now go take care of that hand.” The bartender says to you.

You turn back towards your coworkers, they were clearly talking about what had just went down, not so subtly eyeing you as they talked amongst themselves.

“Danggggg (Y/N)! Look at you being a little secret MMA fighter! That man hit the floor so fast, you could’ve blinked and missed the sucker punch that you dealt out!” Ava exclaims.

“You good (Y/N)?” Gregory asks as he looks at you concerned.

“Not doing so hot currently, but I’ll be okay.” You say giving him a small smile.

“If you need anything you just let us know. We got you.” He says and then pats your shoulder gently.

“Thanks man, I appreciate that.” You squeeze his shoulder with your good hand.

“Oh my god (Y/N)! You had me literally speechless! Which speaks for itself obviously!” Jacob exclaims.

Before you can respond to Jacob, Janine engulfs you in a hug. “I was so worried about you (Y/N)! Are you okay? Is your hand okay? Is it hurting you right now?” Janine asks you rapidly.

You hug Janine gently back to encourage her to let you go. “Thanks for the concern Janine. I am not doing so hot right now. I think my hand’s broken to be honest. And yeah it doesn’t feel great right now.” You answer Janine’s questions, just talking about your hand makes you realize how badly your hand hurts. You need to get the fuck out of here and to the ER you think to yourself.

“One more question for you (Y/N). Does this mean that you and Melissa are a thing?” Jacob asks excited.

“Oh honey that’s a question for Ms. Schemmenti to answer.” You say to him with a smirk. He gets this look of horror on his face.

“You know what, it’s none of my business. Forget I asked.” He says nervously.

“Have a good rest of your night you two.” You say as you move past them.

At the end of the bar you see Barb and Jessica Rabbit herself, Barb has her arm around Melissa’s shoulder. To the average observer you’d think that the brunette is trying to console her friend. But you know better, she’s actually gently restraining the redhead from moving from her seat so that she doesn’t do even more damage to Gary as well as create another scene in the bar which has just gotten back to normal activity.

You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for Melissa’s reaction then you walk right up to them. “Ladies! What a lovely evening it’s been, don’t you agree?” You tease with a small nervous laugh. Both women look back at you with deadpan expressions.

“Okayyy, too soon to joke about, noted.” You say.

“Young lady what on earth were you thinking?! Oh wait, obviously you weren’t thinking! You little girl are 100 pounds soaking wet and that barbarian is probably 3 times your size and could’ve easily severely injured or killed you! We were worried sick about you! Not to let the cat out of the bag but this woman is head over heels in love with you. And she would’ve been beside herself and never would forgive herself if anything happened to you!” Barb scolds you.

“Barb you heard what he said to me, no one gets to say such hateful things towards me and be spared of my wrath. Besides if I wouldn’t have stepped in, she would’ve and we both know I’m the one with more restraint, she would’ve probably ran out to her car and got her bat and then we’d be looking at murder charges possibly.” You defend yourself.

“That’s so not true!” The redhead exclaims.

“Oh come on babe! Be honest with yourself!” You tease as you nudge her playfully.

“Fine… there might be a possibility that might’ve happened.” She grumbles.

“There ya go! Barb if it makes you feel any better I’m pretty sure I broke my hand when I decked him so I am suffering the consequences of this shit show. Also I’m head over heels in love with your best friend and will protect her no matter the cost. It’s also nice to know how much you care about me.” You say as you smile at her. You step closer to Mel, you inhale her sweet but savory perfume and then you stroke her hair as you lean in and kiss her temple. You lean your head against hers and get full body chills. God I really do fucking love her you think to yourself.

Melissa wants to cuss you out in all of the Italian ways she knows how. But hearing you say that you love her and feeling your touch on her, she just wants to cry with relief that you’re not more injured than you are. God damn it Barb being right for the second time that day, she fucking loves you, just feeling your head on hers brings a wave of calm that she should not feel in this moment.

“Well I’ll leave you two love birds alone. Melissa, you take care of that girl and make sure she’s okay. And you miss little MMA fighter, behave yourself and make sure she doesn’t go after that man! I’ll see you both at school on Monday.” Barb says with a wave as she walks toward the other teachers.

“Are you trying to scare me to death by putting yourself in a situation where you could’ve been killed?!” Melissa scolds you but she can’t hide the tears that are pricking her eyes.

You pull her into hug and hold her tight. “I’m sorry angel. As soon as I heard what he said to me, it was over and no one could’ve stopped me from defending myself and you. I’m okay though and I’m right here and just thankful to be in your arms.” You say to her softly.

After you break away from each other. She gives you a concerned look. “Let me see your hand.” She says softly.

You give her your hand that is now turning black and blue. She gently touches it to see what the damage is, you can’t help but let out a little hiss because oh my god does it hurt. She gently kisses it and lets go.

“I’m gonna head over to the University Hospital and have them take care of me. I don’t want you to waste your night with that. I’ll text you when I get released.” You say in a matter of fact tone.

“No no no, you are not gonna do the whole Miss Independent I’m fine and I don’t need anyone thing! If you think for five seconds that I’m not going to be right beside you through all of this, you have another thing coming! I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this but you’re stuck with me taking care of you and making sure you’re okay when it comes to anything that life throws at you, even when you make boneheaded decisions in which you fight men three times your size! Which by the way I’m making you swear you’ll never do again!” She says in a there’s no debating this tone.

“You’re cute when you’re annoyed at me.” You say with a chuckle. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand gorgeous.” You say as you kiss her softly.

You drive to the hospital in silence, only the music from the radio filling the car. But Melissa throughout the whole ride makes sure to have one hand resting on your thigh every chance she gets.

She finds a spot relatively close to the emergency room entrance. She stops the car and then looks at you. She has to know if you really meant what you said to Barb.

“I need to know if you really meant what you said to Barb about me.” She says and you can see the vulnerability on her face.

“When I said that I love you?” You ask to clarify that’s what she means even though you know that it is.

She nods looking at you expectantly.

“Well it’s definitely not how I planned on saying it. I was going to do it after a romantic date or after an amazing night of pleasing each other. But of course I meant it Mel. I really do love you.” You say as you reach over and caress her cheek.

She leans towards you and you share a slow passionate kiss. “I love you so much (Y/N).” She says softly when the kiss ends.

You both just gaze at each other lovingly for a few moments, soaking in this memory that you’ll both cherish forever.

You go into the emergency room and get checked in and are taken to a room. You both snuggle together as you sit and wait for the nurse to come in.

The nurse comes in. “Hi, what brings you into the ER today?” She asks you.

Before you can explain what happened, Melissa jumps in. “Well this googootz thought it was a smart idea to punch a guy three times her size.” She says giving you a teasing look.

“Too bad you already said how much you love this googootz.” You tease back giving her a playful nudge. “But yes ma’am that is what happened and I think I broke my hand.” You answer the nurse.

“Damn if a broken hand is all you walked away with, I’d hate to see the other guy.” The nurse says.

You and Melissa give each other a look and then chuckle to yourselves.

Turns out you did have small fractures throughout your hand. They put a cast on you and refer you to a doctor to come back and see in a few weeks.

Melissa drives you home and insists that you go straight to the bedroom. You reluctantly follow her orders.

She climbs into bed with you. “I’m not going to lie seeing you defend my honor really turned me on.” She whispers in your ear. “And I would seem ungrateful if I didn’t somehow show my gratitude for my knight in shining armor.” She says in her husky seductive voice.

She then proceeds to undress you with head spinning speed and then starts at your breasts as she bites and sucks and teases clearly marking her territory. Just by that alone she’s already making you wet.

She’s not teasing you tonight, she wants you to know how hungry she is to please you. She gets to your folds and with one motion licks the juices off that she’s created. Your whole body shudders and you let out a little moan.

“Let me hear that beautiful moan of yours pretty girl.” She says in her husky seductive voice.

She slowly glides her fingers up and down your folds until she finds your clit. She rubs it slowly and gently at first, watching you unravel with every touch, she then penetrates you with two fingers and then starts eating you out until you are so tight around her fingers that she knows it’s just a matter of seconds until you reach that orgasmic bliss. She turns her attention back to your clit and rubs fast and hard and just like she thought you break open like a dam and she drinks up your cum like it’s the best drink she’s ever had.

She watches you in awe as you ride out your orgasm high. You look so fucking beautiful she thinks to herself. When you slowly come down she leans over you gazing down with adoration and a loving smile.

“Let me clean you up.” She whispers. She gets off the bed and is gone for a few minutes. “Let me know if this is too hot for you and she puts a warm towel on your leg.

“No baby that’s good.” You say still trying to catch your breath. And then proceeds to clean you up with a warm towel! What is this the platinum sex experience you think to yourself.

After she’s done she climbs back into bed and takes you in her arms.

“Now don’t you dare think this means that I condone this behavior!” She teases you with a playfully nudge.

“I know! I don’t. But can I say it was the best showing of gratitude I’ve ever experienced!” You say with a chuckle.

“Good amore mio.” She says softly as she kisses your head.

“Look at you speaking Italian to me! What does it mean?” You ask as you look at her with genuine curiosity.

“My love.” She whispers softly in your ear.

You look at her with tears filling your eyes.

“I love you Melissa Schemmenti.” You say softly and then you gently kiss her.

“I love you more my knight in shining armor.” She says with a smile.

You two lay there and just bask in the warmth of each other and the love that you share. Until you have to break the silence because the joke you just thought of is too good not to say.

“I wonder if we could make money off of me being a charity case.” You say laughing quietly.

Mel rolls her eyes and then pulls you close and kisses you softly, until you’re on the brink of falling asleep on her chest listening to her heart that beats just for you.

#abbott elementary #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #wlw #lesbian #queer #pansexual #biseuxal #fanfic

[thisblogisaboutabook]

Wicked Felina (The Girl That I Love)

Part 2 - “Peter”

Azriel x Reader/Rhysand’s Sister - Angst

Visions of a past life plague Felina as she recovers from burnout. Rhys seeks answers. Azriel comforts his mate as past-trauma comes crashing down on her. A former lover tracks her down.

Part 1 - El Paso Series Masterlist Part 3 - Vampire

warnings: past trauma, panic attack, references to sex, elements involving death, blood drinking, violence

Forgive me, Peter. My lost fearless leader.

“Quit fidgeting, Y/N.” Mother whispers as she runs a brush through my tangled hair.

Father is in Windhaven this week and I’ve been free to roam the skies as I please, whenever mother turns a blind eye. The arts district is vibrant with life and so often my family carries me out kicking and screaming. Well, aside from my brother who hides his amusement behind a mask of irreverence. He knows I love the rainbow.

Of course, Rhys has been gone on courtly business for weeks and I am dying to see him. My brother, the one person who truly understands me. Well, as much as one’s older brother can understand their sister.

I miss him.

“Sorry, mother.” I sigh. “I’m just excited to see my brother tomorrow on our travels.”

A pause of the brush strokes gliding through my hair shoots worry through me. I grit my teeth, bracing for her next words. “What is it?” I inquire, turning to see Mother’s lovely face downcast before her warm gaze meets mine. “He’s been held up and cannot travel with us tomorrow.”

“Oh.” I sigh. Hurt running through me. It’s not his fault, he’s busy and a far more benevolent leader than our father is a ruler, though he plays the game quite well.

An hour later as I lay in bed my heart races, my thoughts spiraling into the places I do my best to forget. The males of this court always let me down. Oh the perils of being the second born heir, younger than those surrounding me, female, and never taken seriously.

The goddess of timing, once found us beguiling.

A note appears at my bedside.

“Night’s truest bloom, there is no starlight without you. Won’t you cast thy gaze upon my room? Xx, Peter”

I smile at the flirtatious note, biting my lip. “You know I can’t but think of me as you bask in sunlight while mother and I trudge through the Illyrian forests tomorrow. Rhys bailed.”

“I don’t like that you’re traveling alone. Shall I come escort you?”

I blush at the thought of walking arm-in-arm with him. Gods, I’m so totally enamored. How did it end up like this?

“You High Fae, so territorial.” I write back.

“You are partly High Fae yourself, my lady. In fact, I’m pretty sure you offered to kill the last female who got too close for your liking.”

My stomach turns. I would. The female’s a lech.

“Semantics. I’ll see you when I get back. Dream filthy dreams of me.” I press a kiss to the letter and send it off.

“Only the filthiest, my sweet Felina.”

She said she was trying. Peter, was she lying? My ribs get the feeling she did.

—————-

Felina

“Y/N?” A cautious voice stirs me from my dream. I wake to find myself in a very large bed, surrounded by luxurious blankets that likely cost twenty-fold the standard linens I’d become accustomed to - the ornate room around me more spacious than anywhere I could recall resting my head.

My body is sore, lethargic. I stretch my arms and - ouch - stiff as well.

“Take it, easy, okay? Your body was under a lot of stress.” I blink my bleary eyes to see Azriel’s concerned gaze fixed upon me.

My body feels weighed down from exhaustion but my heart, it feels heaviest of all - a feeling I’ve continued to carry since Azriel found me at the Inn. Shouldn’t I be happy to have a piece of my life in place? I have a mate - and from what I can recall, a damn good one as well.

I open my mouth to speak but his eyes go distant, a look I’m familiar with but trying to place.

An urgent knock intrudes upon the silence, a look of irritation crossing Azriel’s features before he mutters an apology to me. “He couldn’t wait for me to speak with you apparently.”

My gut clenches, dread overtaking it as the door opens. In walks a male with a face so familiar that my heart’s pace rushes. My brother, Rhys.

“Y/N.” He chokes out, love and longing written all over his beautiful face. “You’re home.”

The name. Y/N. So familiar and so foreign. I remember it now but Felina brings me comfort. “Felina, please call me Felina.” Pain flickers across his features before giving a subtle nod. “Okay, Felina.”

His eyes sparkle as tears form in his eyes. “How? How are you here? Where have you been?”

I reach a hand to touch his face, the scruff beneath itching my palm, his hand instantly finding it and leaning in. It feels so warm and familiar and yet, I yank my hand away like lightning. “I don’t know.” My breaths quicken. Flashes of centuries of lies and manipulation rush into my head and it’s all too much. I can’t process this. I can’t relive it.

My hands find my torso, wrapping myself tightly, I can’t catch my breath. The hot blur of tears fill my eyes as I screw them shut. “I’m sorry- I- I“ can’t finish the sentence as I heave, trying my best to even out my breathing and failing miserably. The inky feel of power seeps from my skin and I can’t process the male voices speaking beside me. My name; a cold, icy voice giving a command; a broken voice of night giving in to whatever was commanded as heavy footsteps pace away, and then -

Darkness. Warmth. A heartbeat in my ear. A brush of lips against my hair. Azriel.

I stay there, sobbing as the emotions crash into me like the surf to rocky shores. The pain doesn’t alleviate for what feels like an hour, the rhythm of my mate’s chest finally bringing me back to the present.

When my eyes open, Azriel is draped over me, wings cocooning protectively around my body, his heartbeat the steady constant in my ear. “I’ve got you.” He whispers. I give into his warmth and drift off again.

————————

Said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me.

Lovers in a field. Brushed hands at balls. Green eyes meeting violet. Shared smiles.

Words from the mouths of babes

Tears cried into a broad shoulder. Whispers of “It’s not fair”, drunken chants of “fuck the cauldron!”, late nights and long dances beside reflections of starlight.

Promises oceans deep

Young lovers questioning eternity, the forces of fate. Letters signed with pen names.

But never to keep

————————-

“Brother, you need to sleep.” Rhysand stressed into Azriel’s mind.

The stubborn bastard had refused to leave Y/N’s side for the days she’d been unconscious. A huge part of Rhys beamed at that. Who was he to question the bonds forged by fate? Was Azriel being his sister’s mate ideal? In a sense, no. As an older brother, he’d always felt protective over her. But Y/N had always gravitated to Azriel, even as a child his shadows could calm her when she was fussy, his patient demeanor had always been a soothing balm to her inquisitive mind. He’d listen carefully as she pondered the great mysteries of life out loud long after the rest of the family had tuned her out.

“I’m fine.” Azriel’s conscious growled in return.

He sure as hell didn’t sound it.

“Let me send darkness to soothe her, just long enough for you to eat and get some sun.”

A pause and then the mirthful reply of “Is it an order?”

Maintaining composure the High Lord replied, “Is it necessary for me to do so?”

Ten minutes later, Azriel appeared at the bottom of the stairs, the light of the foyer emphasizing his hallowed eyes and drained skin. “You look like hell.”

“Thanks.” Azriel muttered.

Rhys knew he sounded like a prick but it was true. “How about you go sun your wings in the garden?”

The energy of the room shifted as Azriel’s eyes rolled, caught between humor and bitterness as he reminded his brother for the fifth time that week of the current circumstances. “Despite your good intentions, you seem to forget that prolonged exposure to the sun is exactly what I do not need.”

“Shit! I am never going to get used to this.” Rhys placed a hand on Azriel’s shoulder. “Fine, sit. Amren brought a fresh blood supply this morning. She says it’s goat from Sevenda’s but she was in a mood, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the blood of whatever poor souls had the nerve to cross her path on the way here.”

Azriel wanted to grin at the attempted humor but didn’t have it in him. What a strange turn of the tables, Amren no longer the bloodthirsty one.

The males sat in silence, Azriel nursing the goblet of blood Nuala had kindly brought in to him. Soft footsteps padded into the space, a familiar floral scent wafting through the room, as Elain entered.

“Oh.” the middle Archeron sister gasped. “I’m sorry to interrupt.” She gave a wary smile, sad eyes falling on Azriel before flicking back to Rhys.

“Not interrupting, Elain. What do you have there?” Rhys glanced to a piece of paper in her clutched in her grasp. “Oh, it’s nothing,” she spoke too quickly, her pulse fluttering. “Writing secret love letters, Elain?”

She shook her head, glancing to Azriel once again. It grated Rhys to know the recent history, or whatever it was, that transpired between Azriel and Elain. With his sister being thrown into the mix now, he was battling that instinct to protect her at all costs.

Elain blushed a soft shade of pink, nearly matching that of her pastel dress. One hand grasping the delicate wrist of the opposite. “I’ve been writing to Lucien.”

“Ah, and how is dear Little Lucien?” Rhys raised an eyebrow, lip quirking upward.

“He’s fine.” Her words were clipped. “I have to go now. Cerridwen is waiting for me in the gardens. We’re planting a new variant of night-blooming jasmine.” She gave a nod and scurried from the room.

Azriel’s lips remained in a firm line as Rhys nursed the whiskey he’d poured himself.

Months ago, her words would have hurt, sliced like a dagger at Azriel’s own lack of a bond. Now, well, he still felt jaded toward Rhys for the solstice that he essentially banned him from pursuing a relationship with Elain. But- it worked for the best. There was nothing in this world he wanted more than his own mate, his Y/N, his Felina - as she insisted she be called.

Guilt tugged at him, he should be up with her, not downstairs. What if she needed him? What if she woke with a night terror and he wasn’t there?

“She’s fine, brother.” Rhys broke him from his thoughts. “Your shadows will alert you the moment she wakes, and I have darkness soothing her.”

Shaking his head, Azriel rested his face in his own palms as if he’d rub his face hard enough and all concerns would fade away.

Finally, he looked up. “How do you do it, Rhys? How do you stay away when there are so many questions that need answered?”

Sitting his glass down onto a coaster, Rhys leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. “I know she is in good hands. You brought her back to me. And I know, a mate can help her right now far more than an older brother.”

The thought warmed the icy chill that had settled into Azriel’s bones, he reveled in the moment before replying. “There’s so much we don’t know- So much we need to know.”

“You’re the spymaster, Az, and she’s your mate. I know you need answers. And gods, don’t think for a moment that I don’t want answers too. It takes every ounce of will not to just dive in to see what I can find, but…. It’s her story to tell. And, when I send my darkness to soother her, her shields, there’s something about them that my own darkness recoils from.”

Digesting the words, Azriel took another swig from his goblet. “I need to go back upstairs.”

Rhys only gave a knowing nod.

—————————

Love’s never lost when perspective is earned

Dreams shifted from young love and light to pain and darkness plague my sleep state with visions of bloodshed on pristine snow. Brutal hands of power-hungry males. Sharpened blades. A mother’s scream. Shredded wings falling to the earth.

Lost to the Lost Boys chapter of your life

And then, warm hands and a familiar face. Love and terror in emerald eyes. Strong arms carrying a broken body. Cries of “Please just hold on for me.”

A promise of “Stay right here. I’m getting help.” The back of a lupine creature running toward the distance.

Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried to hold on.

The effort of holding on is growing too hard. My head slumps as blood trickles from my wingless back. An unheard plea of “Peter!” falls from frozen lips.

Then there is darkness. Void. Impending death.

A cold, pale hand chills my skin. A cruel, beautiful face promises eternity. Unfamiliar arms drag me away and I do not fight.

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light.

———————————

Azriel

Azriel had finally settled in beside a sleeping Felina, resisting the urge to take her in his arms and never let go.

His shadows alerted him to the breach in the wards first, shock running through him at the intrusion. Apparating to the entryway, he found Rhys at the front door, baring his teeth at the intruder, waves of night rolling off of him in a way that would send most running.

Icy rage shot through Azriel’s veins at the audacity of the male to show up at their door. The urge first, ask questions later pulling him toward the intruder. His lunged was interrupted by a sharp inhale behind him behind, diverting him from his war path.

His mate had walked down the stairs, her first time out of bed since arriving to the River House. Her slim form trembled, those otherworldly eyes swirling with emotions he couldn’t comprehend.

“Peter.” She whispered through rapid breaths. Azriel ran to her, bracing an arm around her back to steady her uneven footing as she climbed down the grand staircase.

The blonde male fell to his knees, his tears falling ricocheting off the marble floors.

Azriel has no time to ponder the incorrect name she’d used, focusing on her steps, observing the sight before him. He’d only ever seen the male solemn or filled with rage. Never this.

And Felina, there was no fear or hate in her eyes, no wariness, as she took in the male. No, the only emotion he could now read was one his heart wasn’t prepared to face.

So, Azriel watched as his mate’s eyes lined with tears, her slow steps increasing and filling with purpose as she reached the entryway, stepping out of his brace and flinging herself into the arms of the High Lord of the Spring Court.

—————————

Tamlin

Are you still a mind reader? A natural scene stealer?

He didn’t believe it when Lucien wrote to him sending word that Elain mentioned that Y/N was in Velaris. That she was alive. There was no way and getting his hopes up would kill him.

How many nights had he spent plagued by the memories of the day it all came crashing down? The ruination of a beautiful friendship, of a love forged from two kindred souls damned by fate, and the role he played in it.

They were both so jaded at an early age, he and Y/N. And for whatever reason he couldn’t fathom, the princess of night found the youngest heir of spring to be worthy of her presence. She was everything and he was just, a lost male. Everyone wanted her time but she wanted his, and so began the affair of sneaking off at parties, stolen kisses under starry nights, long rolls in soft grasses, love notes written with pen names.

He was Peter, the lost boy forced to grow up too soon - who wanted nothing more than a life of music and poetry but doomed to strengthen ties to Hybern, to be married off like seed stock to a mate that he hated, Hybern’s wicked general.

And Felina, feline, curious and sleek as a cat. She’d been heartbroken by a one-sided mating bond, by a mate who only saw her as the child she once was, a mate too busy pining over her cousin to notice the gem he had right in front of him.

They’d found comfort and peace with eachother, two young adults who could be whomever they wished in their stolen moments.

They were careful to avoid being caught. So careful, until the day he snuck off to watch as she traveled through the Illyrian forests with her mother, that instinct to protect those he cared for surfacing at such an early age. He thought he’d lost her forever. He’d tried so desperately to save her. By the time he returned with a healer, she had disappeared. To this day, Felina had been his greatest loss.

And moments ago when her cry called into his mind, “Peter!”. There was nothing that could hold him back from her, no wards too strong, no distance too far to winnow. There was only he and his need to see her for himself.

And now, here she was in his arms. Repeating over and over how sorry she was for not holding on, for not having faith that he’d return.

All he could choke out was, “Felina.”

We both did the best we could do, underneath the same moon in different galaxies.

—————————————

Tags:

General ACOTAR: @lilah-asteria

Series tag list: @saltedcoffeescotch @julesofvolterra @glittervame @nocasdatsgay

SPOILER FOR THIS STORY (in case you need to know who is end game) : click here

#acotar #sarah j maas #a court of thorns and roses #azriel #a court of silver flames #a court of frost and starlight #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #vampyr #vamp!azriel #vamp!reader #Tamlin #soft Tamlin #azriel x rhysand’s sister #tamlin x rhysand’s sister #Rhysand #acotar angst #Azriel angst #peter taylor swift #ttpd #inspired by taylor swift #Spotify

[jennaimmortal]

Hey OFMD friends! There’s a few little things (and one big thing) I’d like to try to clear up based on a number of discussions I’ve seen in various places.

1. Stede understands sex & sex references. When he responds with “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” or something similar, that’s a posh people thing. They pretend they’ve never heard of sex whenever it’s brought up in public or with strangers. Just weird aristocrat things! But Stede knows. He’d definitely had plenty of (likely not very pleasant) sex with his wife, and he’d very likely had other sexual experiences as well. More importantly, though, he’s a voracious reader! The man likely had a whole stash of filthy, bawdy novels & books of poetry. There was PLENTY of it, even back then!

2. Ed & Stede’s inn is NOT on the same island as the Republic of Pirates. They’d never settle on an island currently occupied by British military. They sailed away from the Republic of Pirates & went to a totally different island.

3. Frenchie is the new Captain because he was already First Mate, so there was no reason for them to take a vote. Yes, the crew chose Olu in 1x9, but that was when they were mutinying against Izzy & there was no official First Mate in place. The crew don’t seem to have any qualms about Frenchie’s abilities (so far anyway!) It will be a lot of fun to explore that dynamic in S3.

4. Zheng’s very likely only going to be with The Revenge until she finds one of her remaining ships that weren’t in the Republic of Lirates harbor when Ricky attacked.

I’m hoping, though, that we, the audience, will get lucky enough to keep Zheng with them for a while before she does find one of her own ships. I definitely want to see some shenanigans with The Crew, Zheng, & Auntie, including at least one raid. Fingers crossed!

The one BIG thing:

There are MANY disabled characters on the show. Wee John has mobility issues & chronic pain. Lucius is an artist & scribe w an amputated finger & also has chronic back pain. Swede has scurvy. Jackie’s right hand is a prosthetic.

It’s extremely important to understand that all disabilities are relevant no matter how visible they are. There has been some very harmful discourse about disability representation surrounding Izzy’s death & it really needs to stop. A HUGE percentage of disabilities are invisible. Those of us (yep, myself included) with invisible disabilities have had to fight tooth & nail for basic recognition & acknowledgement, let alone benefits & proper medical treatment. We’re still fighting & it’s a major uphill battle!

Let’s not give more ammunition to those fighting against us by claiming that Izzy’s disability was the only important one.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk! 💞

#our flag means death #ofmd #stede bonnet #ed teach #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 #izzy hands #ofmd discourse

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to hang out with my autistic brother?

For context, I (Minor) am also autistic and have EXTREME sensory issues and am very empathetic. My brother (20M) is non-verbal, has very loud stims, and has meltdowns. Not very frequently, but a year or two ago he had them at least once every few months.

Also another note, he is incapable of living by himself and will never move out of our parents house. He is almost in every way dependent on our parents.

AKA I am a lot more “””””high-functioning””””” than him. I hate that term but we are on almost totally different sides of the spectrum basically.

BTW when I say I don’t want to hang out with him, I’m not saying I whine and complain about it to everyone in the general vicinity. ((I have never told anybody about this and keep it to myself.)) But instead I mean that what happens is that I either try to do my best to ignore him or I quietly leave the room.

The first and main reason why I don’t want to hang out with him is that he has extremely loud stims that do not go well with my sensory issues at ALL. He makes loud vocal stims and runs or walks around the area. He usually does this outside or in his room (because he likes to be alone), but whenever he’s in the main room of our house he’ll do it then too.

And our main room is almost always very loud already, which is unavoidable considering 4-6 of us are in the house at a time, plus the house is echoey. (I could be in my room with a closed door and fan all the way on and could still hear people in the main room)

I have already tried to combat this problem with wearing ear plugs, but it just doesn’t work out. 

I don’t want him to stop stimming, I just cannot deal with the loudness. Whenever he is downstairs I usually go back to my room, turn my fan on all the way, and listen to music to avoid it.

The second reason is that when he has meltdowns, he’s even louder (screams/yells) and is “”aggressive”” (he doesn’t have any bad intent he just runs, flips our parents off, punch, kick, etc) usually our parents are able to control the situation, but there have been times in the past where he has harmed me during these meltdowns. I don’t hate him for it at all. But it has installed a fear in me about being around him during/after his meltdowns. 

And for the record, he isn’t a small guy. He’s 6’ft, and at least 40 pounds heavier than me. I am 5’7ft and barely 100 pounds.

And even if this part wasn’t true I still get VERY stressed by his stims + emotions.

I don’t hate him or want him to stop stimming, I just cannot hang out in the same room with him without having sensory overload, being stressed, or sometimes being scared.

I’m probably leaving out some details but. AITA for not wanting to hang out with my autistic brother?

(could you tag this as 1️⃣ so i can find it easier, please?)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #1️⃣

[blushcoloreddreams]

How to do your laundry 101

Taking care of your laundry is one of those mundane tasks you’ll need to deal with for the rest of your life so might as well learn to do it well and enjoy it. So this is my routine and top tips I gathered since living alone

Sort throughout the week (everyday). Every day I separate my dirty clothes on my hamper into darks and lights on another other side. Before taking them to laundry machine I always check my rewear drawer for any dirty clothes. I usually run 1- 2 cycles in the days I do it, totaling around 4 a week since the apartment building I currently live in has a shared laundry room and I can’t got the machines all for myself but if you have your own, feel free to do it all in one go. First cycle is for every day light or white everyday clothing, second to everyday dark or colored clothes. Cycle 3 for towels and bedding which I’ll run with a normal cycle with hot water to ensure they get a deep hygienic cleaning from body oills, lotions and any lingering bacteria. Cycle 4 is for cleaning cloths / bath mats that. And maybe an extra “cycle”, more often than not, done by hand for any delicate pieces, special fabrics or depending on the dirtiness level, that should be washed on a delicate mode. This regime is more intuitively than definitive, sometimes I’ll merge darks and lights together on a cold cycle specially if they are not heavily dirty. Separations is done to prevent colored clothing to bleeding to lighter clothing but this is mostly a concern for any new clothes with deep coloring like indigo, died denim and reds so be sure to wash them separately on the first few times.

Set a time for that. I usually do it Tuesday nights and Thursday morning but you might need to do it more often if you got a bigger family, the important thing is to turn it into a routine and not a dreadful task

Dress comfortably cute - I like to put my hair up in a claw clip to get it out of my face when cleaning and so it doesn’t touch anything It shouldn’t. Dressing up a bit always help you romanize what you are doing and feel better about yourself. (Also I’d hate to meet a neighbor in pajamas haha)

Learn how to treat stains - for blood hydrogen peroxide, apply it directly to the stain, spray some water to keep it hydrated and let it there for 10-15 min and throw it in the laundry preferably on cold water. For oil stains I use baking soda and dish detergent, splotch out any excess oil then sprinkle some baking soda to absorb the oil, I’ll let it sit overnight and the next morning I’ll scrub with dish detergent to help breakdown the oils and I’ll put it into laundry in a hot cycle. For all common stains like ketchup, almond butter coffee berries, vinegar and ink first gently take any excess with a paper towel. For any grease food stains I’ll also add a bit of dish deteargent. If the stain is fresh you only need to treat it with oxygen bleach and water and wait for about 15 min but honestly I often only take care of then on the end of the day or the week and that’s why I rely on the soak method a lot specially for these tough stains.I’ll fill a bin or clean sink with hot water and oxygen bleach and let it soak every night, after it just rinse and add it to the wash cycle and if the stain remains don’t put it into the dryer or it can permanently set the stain.

Read the clothing tag whenever you get new clothes to get familiar with the fabric. I usually check it with a care label guide I found on Pinterest.

Choose the right detergent for you. I prefer powder since it’s more concentrated and work as well as liquid ones. And usually I just add a bit of fabric softer since I’m not allergic

Less is more, you don’t need to use the whole pack to clean it better. Excess laundry detergent can not fully dissolve and form excess studs which won’t get rinsed away properly, and makes it harder for the clothes to create the traction needed to wash the dirt off. 2 table spoons per full load is what seems to work for me.

Flip the clothes inside out. The inside of your garment is usually the dirtiest since it comes in contact with your skin and sweat and it also protect the ink from graphic tees. Also flip the pockets inside out to check any items that shouldn’t go in the wash

Use a mesh bag for delicates like bras and lace garments to protect them pilling or tangling with other items in the load

Choose the right settings for the washing. There are usually 3 settings, cottons, delicates and permanent press. Delicates is the most gentle, cotton the most intense. 99% of the time I choose cottons on a normal cycle unless I’m washing delicates that are machine washable. I prefer cold water to prevent shrinking and color fading

Tidy and clean between cycles. The avarage washing cycle is 15 min to an hour while the drying is 30 min -45 min so while you are already in the spirit you can use this time to tidy up around the home.

Don’t forget about the wet laundry so it doesn’t smell weird. If it does add a sprinkle of baking soda and run the cycle again on the hottest Setting

Remove lint from the lint trap in the dryer to avoid if from getting back from the clothes.

Air dry delicates. I use a rack and I lay the garments as flat as I can to prevent the fibers from stretching. I use it for any athletic wear, delicates max rayons or things the label recommends to do so

Tune in while folding the clothes. Sometimes I like to listen to a podcast, audiobook or YouTube video to make it more fun and keep me engaged

#personal #home & lifestyle #home making #femininity #personal development #laundry #cleaning #organization #homemaking

[munsons-hellfire]

My Love Will Never Die: Prologue

SUMMARY: Circe Archeron is faced with the tragedy of losing her cousin when a faerie arrives at their home demanding to know who had killed the wolf.

PAIRINGS: Azriel x Circe Archeron x Eris Vanserra

CONTENT WARNING: None really, at least I don't think.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello and welcome to the prologue of My Love Will Never Die. I have had this idea for a while. There will be two other characters that will be introduced in this series. The first chapter will take place in A Court of Mist and Fury. I hope you enjoy this! Also I decided to write this in first person pov instead of 3rd person. If you'd like to be added to a taglist for this series let me know in the comments.

WORD COUNT: 3.7K

My Love Will Never Die Masterlist

Snow and ice crusted the earth below. But it didn’t matter to me, I stood tall in the snow covered trees. My dirty-blonde hair was pulled back and braided so it would be out of my way. I jumped from tree to tree, Feyre was always jealous of the fact that I had an easy time hiding in the trees. I had always felt this heavy weight on my back, and because of it I had learned to balance myself especially in trees.

They became my friends. Odd, I know, but totally worth it when we’d go out hunting. That’s what my cousin and I had been doing, hunting for food in this brisk winter. I could feel the cold running along my skin. I had been living with the Archeron sisters since shortly before they had to leave the luxurious home behind and move into a smaller home. I didn’t understand why my parents had dropped me off with my cousins, all I know is they’re hiding something from me. One day I’ll figure it out. But today I’m hunting in the woods.

Feyre and I had separated from each other hours ago. We’d hoped that by doing so we’d gain more distance to find something to eat. But so far I had no such luck, I was secretly hoping that Feyre had gained the luck today. Feyre and I had started to go out into the woods to hunt for food when we were fourteen. Her reasoning was a promise she’d made to her mother, mine was mostly because I didn’t like to be alone with Nesta and Elain when Feyre wasn’t there.

Our relationship was strained. Nesta hated me, I don’t know why. I guess she blames me for moving in, because soon after they could no longer afford anything. I’m not sure honestly, she doesn’t ever give me an answer whenever I question her, whenever I ask her the same question. She just lets it fuss out like it's nothing important and honestly I’ve given up trying to figure out why she hates me. Feyre and I are now nineteen, it’s crazy, I know but what more can I do in this life.

Most of the things I know how to do I managed to teach myself, reading is one of those things. I’m not as skilled in reading but I can get by somewhat. It’s not important right now anyway. I’ve tried to help Feyre but I don’t really know what I’m doing. Feyre has become my best friend, she’s more of a sister than a cousin. And I so badly wished to have had that sibling connection with her that Nesta and Elain have with her but seem to not care much about.

I shake my head, easily getting lost in my thoughts these days when I’m alone in the woods. I gripped the bark tightly, small scratches littered my palms. I tend to get my hands cut a lot when I’d climb up into the trees. Feyre always had something to say about it and I know she’ll most likely say something about it when she sees my hands. Sometimes I like to feel pain, and the only healthy way is to climb trees. I adjust myself trying to ignore the heavy weight on my back.

I knew at this point without having any luck it was time to call quits and head home. I was hoping that Feyre had already made it back to the small house. I lunge off the branch I was hanging out on, I grip onto the next branch holding it tightly as I swing back and forth. The slight pain in my hands is evident. Finally I’m able to let go of the branch and land on the icy ground. The ice crunches beneath my boot covered feet.

I pull my dagger from my holster, it’s not much but it’s kept me safe over the years since I’ve started hunting. I lower myself into a crouching position and release a breath. My breath mixes with the cold air causing it to turn into a mist. Just to be safe I always stay low to the ground to make sure I’m not caught as I walk back home to the house where Nesta, Elain and my Uncle are. All of whom probably aren’t doing anything.

An hour later I had given up on the crouching, but I’d made it home. The dagger is back in the sheath. I don’t need Nesta and Elain to know I have it. One day I’d found it near the border that separates us from the Faeries, it was calling to me. Odd. It was so odd that a dagger was calling my name. But I found it and since then it has been with me. Finally reaching the door I pushed it open and walked inside.

A soft grunt leaves my throat as I enter the house. The house had a small amount of warmth, I could feel it but it was barely there. Not that I mind, I preferred the cold anyway. At least that’s what I tell myself. My ocean blue eyes land on my Uncle and cousins all of whom are close to each other.

“Where’s Feyre?” Nesta questioned, not bothering to give me another glance.

“Like you care.” I mumbled the words as I removed my cloak from my body. It didn’t do much to keep me warm during the winter but it was better than nothing. “She’s probably still hunting, I didn;t have any luck but I’m hoping that Feyre found something.” I said that loud enough that all three could hear me. Nesta didn’t budge, nor did Elain. I walked past them making my way into our small shared room. Sometimes I wish I could sleep on the floor in the winter. I hate sharing a room with my cousins. Feyre not so much because she didn’t hate me.

I closed the door behind me once I was in the room. I needed to change into warmer, dry clothes. I tracked towards the dresser and kneeled down to stare at the painting Feyre had drawn on my drawer. I had the same recording dream, it was always blurry so I couldn’t make out much. But I got enough from the dream. I had asked Feyre one day to paint hazel and amber eyes, mixed with bat wings, shadows and flames. I could never really understand why I had seen those images so constantly in my dreams but I wanted to be able to see them no matter the time of day.

Feyre had even questioned me about it when she was painting it, but I just didn’t know how to answer it other than the fact that I had seen everything when I was asleep. I didn’t know who the eyes belonged to but I knew one day that I’d figure it out eventually. I knew whomever the eyes belonged to they would most likely be important to me. After pulling on a warm set of clothes I heard the front door open, followed by Feyre’s voice and shortly after Nesta’s voice.

“Where did you get that?” Nesta had asked, as I rejoined them. I glanced over at Feyre as she looked at me. Over the years Feyre and I had developed a secret sort of communication and were able to talk with each other via expressions. Feyre was asking for my help without actually saying something. I moved from my spot walking over to her.

“Where do you think I got it?” Feyre questioned back, her voice hoarse.

I looked over at Nesta and my Uncle, they were by the hearth warming their hands. I had noticed Elain but gave her no mind just like she did to me. I watched closely as Feyre removed a wolf pelt from the doe she had collected. Then she turned and took her boots off placing them by the door. Feyre turned back towards Elain and myself, she glanced at her second oldest sister before her eyes fell onto me.

“Will it take you long to clean it?” Elain had asked simply.

I took note of the question, it was directed towards me and Feyre. We were the only ones who truly knew how to clean an animal. It wasn’t a hard task to learn, all things considered. I released a huff and glided towards the doe. I paid no mind to the conversation going on currently. At some point Feyre had joined me and we began working together.

“Are you going to come with us to the market tomorrow?” I lifted my eyes at the question Feyre had asked. Then briefly I looked over at Nesta and Elain.

“I think I’ll stay here if that’s all right.” For some reason my voice was soft as I answered Feyre’s question. Feyre only gave a nod and the conversation dropped there. Eventually night fell and we were stuffed in the bed. I was exhausted from today’s adventure and ready for bed.

☾

I had spent most of the day with my Uncle though he hadn’t made much of an effort to talk to me. So I ended up in the trees. When I didn’t want to talk to anyone this is where I’d come. I’d pick a tree, climb it and sit on the branch. Sometimes I’d stay resting on the tree well past sunset to watch the stars shine brightly in the sky. This was my safe heaven and I didn’t know what I’d do without this. Feyre stood down below staring up at me.

“Come on, food’s ready.” She said my cousin was never happy that I could climb the trees. She also didn’t understand why I did it. In a sense I guess I needed to be closer to the stars or the sun or maybe the clouds. I never really knew, it was always a guessing game with my feelings. “When will you stop climbing into trees?”

I shrugged my shoulders, attempting to move the weight on my back. It always felt like something was dragging against the ground. I didn’t understand it, I had hoped to one day reunite with my parents and ask them why it felt that way on my back. I hadn’t seen them since they dropped me off at my cousins, so I guess I would never really get my answers. I looked back at Feyre realizing that she was still waiting for me to answer her question, the one I hadn’t answered yet.

“Never. It’s my safe haven away from Nesta, Elain and Uncle.” I finally answered the question as Feyre and I started walking back towards the home.

“Just don’t hurt yourself. I can’t lose my best friend.” Feyre looked at me. Her blue-green eyes blazing brightly. We entered the house, finally we were all sitting down and eating the deer. I wasn’t in the mood to listen to whatever conversation they were having. I would take small bites of my food to savor it, and in between I’d play with it until I decided to take another bite. A roar so loud I had to cover my ears brought me out of my thoughts.

Hesitantly I reached for my dagger, but didn’t make a move to pull it out of its sheath. Nesta and Elain were screaming, snow burst into the room we were in as the door opened and a growling figure appeared in our line of sight. I was so confused as to what was going on but finally I pulled the dagger out of my hands and moved in front of Nesta and Elain. The dagger was in front of me as I looked up at the beast. My heartbeat was beating so fast, I couldn’t seem to calm it down.

“MURDERERS!” Its voice was rough as it looked around the room. My breath caught in my throat as I glanced over at Feyre. We both knew what this was. Faerie. I couldn’t believe there was a Fae in our home. Who was it and what did they want? Those were the only questions that seemed to be running through my mind. “MURDERERS!” It roared again.

“P-please,” I could hear my Uncle’s voice from somewhere in the room. I couldn’t look away from the beast to figure out where his voice was coming from. “Whatever we have done, we did so unknowingly, and—”

“W-w-we didn’t kill anyone.” Nesta added, choking on the sobs that left her lips. I briefly pulled my eyes away from the beast and saw her holding the iron bracket over her head. I guess she hoped it would protect her from the monster at our front door.

“Get out,” Feyre snapped at the beast, she held a dinner knife in front of her. I shifted slightly and caught the eyes of the beast. It looked at me, then it seemed to halt its movements. It sensed something on me, I could tell. “Get out, and begone.” Feyre added. His roar was so loud it shook the entire cottage along with everything in it. Before I had a chance to speak I watched Feyre hurl her hunting knife at the beast. But he was able to block it before it made contact with his skin.

Feyre stumbled backwards almost knocking into her father. I stepped forward slightly, the faerie had almost killed my cousin. I had almost lost her. The eyes of the monster landed on me, he looked at me differently then he had looked at Feyre. I straightened my back slightly, moving my shoulders to adjust the weight on my back. It was almost like he could sense that something was different about me. That I was different from my cousins. But as far as I was aware whatever was different about me he couldn’t see it. At least that’s what I hoped.

“WHO KILLED HIM?” He roared out, pulling his eyes away from me to look around at the rest of my family. He stalked towards us, he set his paw on the table, his claws scratched into the table one by one. I shuddered at the thought of what those claws could do.

“Killed who?” Feyre was quick to ask the question.

He growled out, his voice was low, “the wolf.” I looked to my cousin as her eyes fell to mine. I hadn’t been with her but she had in fact killed that wolf. At this moment I wish I had been with her. Maybe I should tell the creature that I was the one who had killed the wolf, but I knew Feyre wouldn’t let me do that.

“A wolf?” Elain released a shriek, I had to stop myself from covering my ears when I heard it.

“A large wolf with a gray coat,” he snarled at us.

“If it was mistakenly killed,” Feyre said to the beast, her voice calm. “What payment could we offer in exchange?” I closed my eyes dreading what this creature might want in return.

“The payment you must offer is the one demanded by the Treaty between our realms.”

“For a wolf?” I asked, tilting my head. This was so confusing.

“Who killed the wolf?” His eyes whirled around the room staring at each of us. I moved my shoulders, stepping forward however Feyre beat me to it.

“I did.” She said.

“Surely you lie to save them, to save her.” He said pointing at me with his clawed finger. I gulped, I feared that he might try and take me instead of Feyre. This wasn’t happening, this had to be a dream. I need to wake up now, I go to pinch myself only it hurts. This is real.

“We didn’t kill anything!” Elain cried. “Please… please, spare us!” Nesta hushed Elain, though she did it through her own crying. I couldn’t bring myself to cry like they were. I guess because I had been hunting for a while with Feyre. Suddenly my Uncle was standing from where he’d been sitting, grunting in pain.

“I killed it!” Feyre said, I watched as the beast pulled his eyes away from Nesta and Elain to look at her. “I sold its hide at the market today. If I had known it was a faerie, I wouldn’t have touched it.” I knew that was a lie.

“Liar.” So did he, apparently. “You knew. You would have been more tempted to slaughter it had you known it was one of my kind.”

“Can you blame me?”

“Did it attack you? Were you provoked?”

I looked over at my cousin waiting for her to say yes, to say something other than the word that was uttered from her mouth, “No,” she said, with a snarl of her own. “But considering all that your kind has done to us, considering what your kind still likes to do to us, even if I had known beyond a doubt, it was deserved.”

He released a growl to Feyre’s answer. I could feel the rage coming from the creature. I think we all could. I didn’t like where this was heading and I knew where this was heading. I didn’t want it to be the case. I can’t lose Feyre, she’s all I have. Sure the others are here but they don’t really care for me, I’m just an extra mouth that my parents forced them to take care of because they couldn’t handle whatever was wrong with me.

“What is the payment the Treaty requires?”

He continued to stare at Feyre as he talked to her, “A life for a life. Any unprovoked attacks on faerie-kind by humans are to be paid only by a human life in exchange.” Nesta and Elain stopped crying at the admission.

“I didn’t know.” Feyre said. “Didn’t know about that part of the Treaty.”

I couldn’t think of a way out of this, of a way to keep Feyre here with us. “Most of you mortals have chosen to forget that part of the Treaty,” he said, “which makes punishing you far more enjoyable.”

The panic inside me was flickering, I couldn’t lose her. He was going to take her away. I would never see the only person who understood me ever again.

“Do it outside,” Feyre whispered, her voice trembling. I wanted to cry for the first time in what felt like forever. But I still couldn’t bring myself to not yet anyway. “Not… here.”

“Willing to accept your fate so easily?” He asked. “For having the nerve to request where I slaughter you, I’ll let you in on a secret, human: Prythian must claim your life in some way, for the life you took from it. So as a representative of the immortal realm, I can either gut you like swine, or… you can cross the wal and live our the remainder of your days in Prythian.”

“What?” Feyre asked.

“Please.” I begged, no matter how hard I was trying to hold back my tears they had started to fall down my face. “Please don’t take her away from me. I can’t lose her.” I broke, as the words exited my mouth. My knees trembled and I quickly dropped to the ground staring at the beast.

“You can either die tonight or offer your life to Prythian by living in it forever, forsaking the human realm.”

I was shaking my head looking at my cousin. “Do it, Feyre,” my Uncle whispered from behind Feyre. “Go.”

“No. Please.” I cried out again.

“Live where? Every inch of Prythian is lethal to us.” She does have a point. “Why bother?”

“You murdered my friend,” he snarled at her. “Murdered him, skinned his corpse, sold it at the market, and then said he deserved it, and yet you have the nerve to question my generosity?”

Feyre stepped forward. “You didn’t need to mention the loophole.”

He released another snarl. “Foolish of me to forget that humans have such low opinions of us. Do you humans no longer understand mercy?” He’s so close to Feyre now. “Let me make this clear for you, girl: you can either come live at my home in Prythian—offer your life for the wolf’s in that way—or you can walk outside right now and be shredded to ribbons. Your choice.”

“Please, good sire—Feyre is my youngest. I beseech you to spare her. She is all… she is all…” His words seemed to die in his throat as he talked. “Please—”

“Silence.”

“I can get gold—” He tried to come up with a compromise, and I hoped that the beast would allow it over taking Feyre away.

“How much is your daughter’s life worth to you? Do you think it equates to a sum?” He questioned. Nothing came out to answer the question, the silence was deafening as Feyre stepped forward. She looked back at me, like she was sending her apology to me. I knew what it meant, she was leaving to protect all of us. And to honor the Treaty he was talking about.

“When do we go?” Feyre asked, I started shaking my head. I couldn’t breath, this was happening too fast for my liking.

“Now.”

I couldn’t hear anything after that. It was all silent. I wanted this to be a dream more than anything right now. I wish it were. I really do wish I could just wake up from this. I felt myself begging the creature over and over, asking to go with them. But Feyre turned it down before I even had a chance. I felt her arms around me as she said goodbye. But I still couldn’t process anything. Before I knew it she was gone, taken just like that.

I wouldn’t have my best friend with me anymore. I’d live a life without her and that broke me. I crumpled to the floor and cried out silently. I received no comfort from any of them the rest of the night. I just stayed on the floor until I eventually cried myself to sleep, hoping for a better future. Maybe I’d get a better future now. I just had to remain strong and not let my thoughts consume me. But that was a difficult challenge.

#azriel x original character #eris vanserra x original character #azriel x eris #a court of thorns and roses #feyre archeron #original characters #nesta archeron #papa archeron #elain archeron #azriel #eris vanserra

[zhongrin]

swirl & crystallize (and more)

(self-indulgent version | original post)

◇ characters ◇ romantic!zhongli, familial!xiao, platonic!kazuha, platonic!shinobu, romantic!al haitham, platonic!ayato, familial!yaoyao

◇ tags ◇ fluff, selfship, be respectful; don't like don't read!, soft yandere on some parts

◇ a/n ◇ since the people i tagged had a lot of fun with the selfship version, it made me want to write one for myself hahah

ps. i treat the two teams as if they exist in a separate universe, so they're totally unrelated to each other!

pps. feel free to join in if you see this!

𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

team 1: xiao (🏠), kazuha (👥), zhongli (💞), shinobu (👥) + lumine (👥)

(dynamics with each other in the old post)

✧— zhongli

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

i’m not sure what you’re talking about, traveler-

hm? she… told you about it? …. i see.

well, as she had requested, i hope you keep this a secret from the others. if teyvat ever knows that the master of this world herself has descended, i fear many of her people would vie for her attention. and as you know, she dislikes being in the spotlight…

⚘ about mei: husband and wife ⚘

i daresay that no one walking upon teyvat holds as much love and devotion to her as i do. it certainly is pleasing to know that my affection is reciprocated, and to this day i am still unable to fathom how she can regard me as an equal - and at times, higher - than her.

while i can say that it feels… pleasant, to know that she adores me so to the point of worship, all my life i have lived believing that it should be the other way around… so it’s quite a dilemma that i’m facing here.

✧— xiao

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

i don’t know what you’re talking about, traveler.

... huh? you knew? and rex lapis responded the same way, you say? … hmph. i see.

don’t you hit me with that ‘parent and child’ nonsense that she always jokes about. i am unfit to be someone’s ‘beloved son’ or whatever, and certainly not rex lapis and teyvat’s impetus.

⚘ about mei: mother and child ⚘

honestly, she treats me like a child despite fully knowing i can take care of myself. worrying about me whenever we dive into battles, always fussing over me to drink the qingxin tea to help with karmic debt… i’ve told her several times that her presence alone is enough to ease the burden of-

a-anyway, she’s quite the mother hen, as i’m sure you also know.

✧— kazuha

⚘ about mei: a special existence ⚘

just as how zhongli-sensei may not be all that he claims to be, i believe the same applies to his wife.

…. haha, you’re quite easy to read, traveler. it was a mere shot in the dark, with only my intuition as its guide, yet it seems like i am right once again. well, no matter. perhaps i will gain their trust in due time. now, i only wish to enjoy the present times of this delightful company.

⚘ about mei: like a sister ⚘

while a geo vision suits her, i think she would have been just as happy with an anemo vision. the way she always asks for me to float her upwards so she can glide down like an excited child is quite endearing. and the way zhongli-sensei rigidly stands by whenever she does this… *chuckles*

oh, i’m sorry, i just think he worries a little too much for his wife sometimes… it’s really quite sweet. it… reminds me of my own father, before my mother…

… ah, apologies, i didn’t mean for the atmosphere to take a gloomy turn.

anyway, i’m just happy to see her so content whenever she’s interacting with zhongli-sensei. i just wish they can dial down the public displays of affection sometimes - i personally don’t mind, but i can see that a few people constantly get secondhand embarrassments, haha!

✧— shinobu

⚘ about mei: chaotic neutral ⚘

look, i’m not saying she’s at the same level as the boss. but you have to admit, for someone who was so shy and timid at first, she sure hid a whole lot of personality once you get to know her.

she’s also a little too spoiled. have you seen how mr. zhongli would just bend over backward to abide by her words? it’s as funny as it is endearing, but i worry she’ll get in trouble one day when she accidentally steps her foot onto the wrong territory... huh? the mom friend? me? ….. *sigh*

traveler.

when am i not the mom friend?

⚘ about mei: looking out for each other ⚘

fortunately, she could be responsible and serious when she has to. it still surprises me how grounded and stern she could be when times are dire; it almost reminds me of mr. zhongli. are all geo vision holders like that, i wonder?

…. wait. scratch that. that was a stupid thought.

bonus!

✧— lumine

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

the first time i realized that this world exists for her sake, i was shocked, of course. what made her so special that a world was born just to entertain her musings? sometimes i think that if not for her, perhaps we wouldn’t have been-

..... *sigh* what am i saying. i know it’s not her fault that things unfolded this way, since she didn’t have the power to influence the events happening in teyvat. in any case, she felt responsible enough to tag along on this journey, and it’s mostly thanks to her that an ex-archon and the demon conqueror himself agreed to travel together with us. so no, i don’t resent her or anything like that. in fact, i would say that we’re good friends.

⚘ about mei: little sisters ⚘

she told me that she had older brothers, once. and it just… clicked to me. the reason why i feel like we can understand each other really well. the reason why she was so adamant to accompany me on my adventure. why she’s so empathetic whenever it comes to matters involving… him.

it’s all because she understands the pain of being separated from her family.

perhaps after i reunite with my family, i can accompany her on her voyage to look for hers? but… well, looking at how she has found a family here too, i’m not sure what she wishes to do…

team 2: al haitham (💞), ayato (👥), zhongli (💞), yaoyao (🏠)

✧— al haitham

oh my god he’s already one of my most beloved dps because dendro element’s flexibility + his high damage. it also helps that he’s the only 5* whom i have the signature weapon for lol

since he came home at 1 pity, i imagine in this scenario we just dropped by the akademiya one day on a whim to invite him to the party… and the next day the acting grand sage just goes missing, with a letter on his desk saying: “the divine one invited me to a vacation."

cue people working at the akademiya being quite literally in shambles because who do they report to now??? hello???? first the grand sage gets dethroned now the acting grand sage goes missing???????

he respects ayato and barely interacts with him, but they surprisingly get along well, be it or outside the battlefield.

with zhongli… not to say that they don’t get along well, but they certainly aren't the bestest of friends. they don’t snap at each other or anything like that though! it's just that if you leave them alone in a room, al haitham would just default to reading his book and zhongli would probably find something to amuse himself instead of talking with the akademiya scribe.

seems indifferent to yaoyao but silently looks after her. he made her a flower crown using his vision at her birthday one time, but that’s a secret he’ll take to his grave. except yaoyao proudly presented it to the other members when they asked where she got the adorable flower crown. #exposed

⚘ about zhongli: cold ⚘

surely by now, you know that i dislike quite a number of people and will not bother to try and force myself to get along with them. he’s not special in this aspect.

i simply am not a fan of sharing my... personal interests.

⚘ about ayato: elusive ⚘

the man wields his words like he wields his blades; swift strikes precisely delivered onto vital points, and before you could even blink, he’s had his sword back sheathed. very efficient and yet inefficient at the same time, i'd say.

⚘ about yaoyao: why is a child here? ⚘

i’m not sure why a young child is traveling with us, but mei kept saying she’s tagging along because she’ll make me stronger. to this day, i am unable to understand her logic, but i value her opinion so i let her do whatever she wants. surprisingly, from the combat data i’ve collected, her claim seems to be true. perhaps her godly powers are at work here. i’ll have to study this phenomenon further.

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

rin is certainly interesting, isn’t she? doesn’t exactly act like a deity when she’s supposed to be this world’s reason for existence. neither does she ask us to worship or obey her commands. and she certainly doesn’t seem to mind being treated so… well. lightly put, beneath what was supposed to be her place. hah. it’s quite refreshing.

hm. it seems like the sharp-eared consultant is glaring at me yet again. i’ll go back to reading my book now. kindly do not bother me for the next hour.

⚘ about mei: similarities ⚘

sans her periodically outgoing outbursts of energy and her deep empathy, i think we’re quite alike in the minute details of our personalities and preferences. we believe in work-life balance and our wish to lead a comfortable life overall. we’re also both not morning people. dislikes sand getting in our shoes. thinks that going out in the rain isn’t preferable. both avid fans of a good cup of coffee. she even told me my soundproof earpiece is a marvelous invention and that she always uses it too, back in the previous world she lived in. naturally, this means we get along rather swimmingly.

ah, that reminds me, i should tell her that i’ve finished making her headphones. now, if you’ll excuse me-

hm? ….. yes, i’m aware that it’s already quite late. but is that not the point? you might not know because your room is never next to the consultant’s, but at times his snores are just far too loud. this way, she can use the headphones right away. i’m sure it’ll help her to fall asleep undisturbed by any external interventions.

and besides, she likes it when i visit her at night.

✧— ayato

gameplay wise, honestly, ayato is just there to take over while i’m waiting for al haitham’s skill to cool down lol

he’s the team’s wallet, aka childe 2.0

surprisingly, ayato gets along pretty well with all of them.

yes, including al haitham.

zhongli could be a tad gullible sometimes, so ayato actually is having a blast feeding him uh… questionable lies… plus, he’s a big tease and he finds it funny to poke and prod at the stoic man. someone save zhongli

yaoyao reminds him of young ayaka, so he naturally dotes on her. big brother behavior, very wholesome.... until you realize he’s teaching her where to stab people so they bleed out and die (or in his words: ‘so bad people will get an ouchie’).

⚘ about al haitham: bet ⚘

while i can’t say our work ethics match each others’, i suppose i can bet a million mora that he’ll win in consideration as his friend.

hmm? win in what, you ask? ahaha, don’t mind my silly musings…

⚘ about zhongli: milk tea ⚘

oh, mr. zhongli is such a pleasant individual to chat over tea. speaking of, i think it’ll be tea time soon. do you perhaps have a bottle of milk, traveler? ah, perfect.

why do i need it you ask? well, the expression on his face whenever i add them to my cup of tea is always a sight to behold, haha!

⚘ about yaoyao: child labor(?) ⚘

if it was up to me i would have arrested mei for child labor. but she was smart enough to borrow what seems to be a friend of hers’ counterargument: “but you also employ sayu in shuumatsuban?”

well, i can’t possibly dispute that, can i? *chuckle* i would love to get to know that friend of hers one day.

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

haha, it really doesn’t feel like she’s teyvat’s beloved raison d’etre, doesn’t it? the way we interact with each other is a very different dynamic than what i’m used to dealing with, back home. she's vastly different than the raiden shogun, both in personality and way of life.

if i had to liken her to someone… i’d say she reminds me of ayaka. well… a more… how do i say this without incurring mr. zhongli’s disapproving glares… unhinged version of her, once you know her truly.

come now, don’t look at me like that. you know it’s true. *chuckles*

⚘ about mei: mistreatment ⚘

in my opinion, she’s very biased toward the akademiya’s scribe and wangsheng’s consultant. have you seen the charms she bestowed on them? they’re clearly of a very different quality than ours. even a normal civilian with no vision would be able to tell that they’re special. i wonder how much effort it took her to enchant those artifacts.

as someone who thought of her like a little sister and willingly prioritized her invitation to travel together, it’s very saddening that she does not put the same care for me as she does for those two. oh, how heartbreaking. i am riddled with grief. *leisurely sips boba*

✧— zhongli

d-do i even need to explain? he’s in my every team composition because of his shield and burst lol

and he’s such an eye candy too

given his (currently) non confrontational nature, he gets along well with everyone…. well. he tries to get along with ayato and al haitham.

with ayato, it’s a constant battle of innuendos and implications and it causes major headaches to people listening.

with al haitham, he’s… well… honestly i’m not sure why they don’t 'get along'. perhaps the word i’m looking for is ‘distant’? there seems to be a hidden hostility here…

gets along most with yaoyao out of the three. so many precious grandpa-granddaughter moments. it’s him who reads/tells her bedtime stories at night and she loves it a lot. this routine is the reason why she would sometimes offer to other people to read them bedtime stories.

⚘ about al haitham: rivalry ⚘

rivalry, you say? hmm…

does it look so obvious from your point of view? ... this won’t do. i really shouldn’t be relapsing to my old self… *sigh*

⚘ about ayato: customs ⚘

though our taste in beverages doesn’t align, our chats are always eye-opening. i learn much intriguing knowledge every single time. for example, apparently, inazumans have this custom to add at least one unusual, exotic ingredient into every hotpot they have. is it not most amusing?

⚘ about yaoyao: glimpse of the future (?) ⚘

ah, the young disciple of streetward rambler. such a pure-minded and responsible child. i think it’s endearing whenever mei dotes on her and carry her around everywhere. she even let yaoyao sleep in her arms while we’re traveling. it makes me think of-

…. ahem. my mind wandered a little too far there, my apologies. what was i saying? yes, she’s a sweet little one, isn’t she?

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

personally, i think she should use more of her authority. especially to our front liners. most especially to a certain high-ranking personage from sumeru. i would normally never overlook such insolence, but since mei herself told me to not interfere… *sigh* there is, unfortunately, nothing i can do but reprimand them once in a blue moon.

⚘ about mei: tea ⚘

mei is the one who controls the finances in our traveling group, but while she could be quite frugal, she always gets me whatever tea leaves they have in the market whenever we visit any encampments or cities. i appreciate that very much.

she does enjoy her coffee every now and then, but at the end of the day, she always comes back for tea. i think she might not realize it herself, but she clearly has a preference for tea over anything else - that is, including coffee.

hmm? i’m speaking allegorically? why, i’m not sure what you’re referring to, traveler. i am simply stating my observations.

✧— yaoyao

it’s actually shinobu but recently i swapped her with the new dendro child bc i wanted more variety (and that companion exp hskdjskdj)

this sun child gets along with everyone!! good job yaoyao!! she’s like a precious baby niece i don’t have sobsob

she’ll follow either al haitham or ayato around like a duckling around the marketplace if i went with zhongli (she knows he has the worst spending habits so we take turns keeping an eye on him lol). got separated from al haitham one time and he almost had a heart attack. now he holds her hand whenever they walk around in crowded places.

ayato knows how to handle children because he literally raised ayaka, so yaoyao loves being around him! he’ll fulfill her more childish wants that she never voices out loud (out of consideration for others) with a snap of his finger.

zhongli is yet another expert at childcare (although he has his clumsy moments) and he’s on friendly terms with all the adepti so yaoyao considers him at the same level as her adepti friends. he’d take her into his arms if she ever falls asleep while we’re walking about.

i’m gonna cry these are all adorable as fuck help

⚘ about al haitham: protection ⚘

mister al haitham looks a little scary at first, but you know what? he’s super caring! whenever there are battles, he always, always makes sure that i’m out of harm’s way first! *huffs* i kept telling him i can handle monsters on my own, but he just crouched down and patted my head. he didn’t even refute it!!

*sigh* i suppose his manners are a little lacking, but he means well, so i’ll overlook it, hehe.

⚘ about ayato: kind ⚘

ayato gege sneaks me candies every now and then! they’re always sakura-flavored, and i can’t get them in liyue markets, so he told me he’ll get them especially exported from inazuma to liyue when we stop traveling together! isn’t he so kind?

oh, and he’s especially good at putting up my hair! i think he’s used to doing it… he mentioned having a little sister once. maybe he used to put her hair up?

⚘ about zhongli: warmth ⚘

mister zhongli reminds me of the adepti, because he’s very dignified and knowledgeable! but apparently, he’s just human like me... but i still like him! he’s very nice and mature, save for his impulsive purchase habits...

he also tells me bedtime stories, and it makes me fall asleep within five minutes… *yawn* oh dear, thinking about it makes me sleepy… i think i’ll ask mei jiejie if i can take a short nap…

⚘ about mei: the primordial one ⚘

oh, meirin jiejie is really kind! she always shares any sweets she buys, and whenever miss shenhe visits us we would ask her to help making these cold yummy treats called ice cream! now if only she would eat her veggies with the same vigor…

⚘ about mei: secrets ⚘

jiejie and i tell a lot of secrets to each other! she tells me it’s because i’m a special child… i’m really flattered that she would trust me that much! but anyway, she told me you’re a close friend of hers, miss lumine, so i can tell you one of her secrets!

okay, so, jiejie never really admitted it outright, but i think she’s very fond of mr. zhongli and mr. al haitham… she always talks about them and she’s always saying about how handsome and capable they are! i asked her who she would marry and she got all red, hehe. who do you think will get to marry her, miss lumine?

bonus because i adore yaoyao so much:

© zhongrin | 2023 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

#genshin impact #rin writes #rin selfships #zhongrin #zhongrinth #meitham #yandere #zhongli #al haitham #xiao #yaoyao #shinobu #kazuha #ayato #lumine

[amostimprobabledream]

When your head's in the clouds (keep your feet on the ground) - Ranpo Edogawa x Reader

Also available on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45151330 Getting anything done in the Armed Detective Agency was a struggle sometimes. Case in point. Across the room where you were meant to be typing up a report on a case the agents had recently finished, Kunikida was yelling at Dazai for a slew of complaints that had been lobbied at him recently, apparently for trying to jump off a statue of a historical figure downtown, breaking it and coming out totally unscathed. Naomi was attached to Junichiro's back, cooing as he squirmed in embarrassment and tried in vain to shush her. Atsushi was flailing his hands and protesting some edgy comment Kyoka had probably made (you weren't really listening, you tended to zone out whenever she spoke). With all of it combined, you could barely hear yourself think, let alone write the damn report. Just hang on a bit longer til lunch. you thought, rubbing your temples, the beginnings of a headache blooming. You probably shouldn't have skipped breakfast, but Kunikida was a real stickler for punctuality and you couldn't always guarantee he'd be distracted by Dazai's antics to sneak in without him noticing. And you were running late that day after somehow sleeping in, breaking your favourite bag on the way in and a bunch of other stupid little mishaps, so you weren't in the best of moods.

As you waited for the noise to die down a bit so you could concentrate, your mind drifted to your current obsession - the crime thriller novel you've been reading. You were about halfway through it now and the urge to just whip it out and start reading it in the midst of all this chaos was all too tempting. You'd even brought it with you because you'd taken to wandering around with it in one hand. You were planning to get through more of it on your lunch break.

"You know, my snack drawer is looking pretty empty right about now...”

Your eyes flicked in the direction of the singsong voice. Ranpo perched himself on the edge of your desk and you hastily grabbed it before he ended up knocking it off like a cat would. You wouldn't put it past him.

"Somebody really needs to put a bell on you," you said, rolling your eyes. For somebody who spent most of his time either inhaling candy and never putting on an ounce of weight or sleeping all day, he could be sneaky when he wanted to. "You don't look busy," Ranpo continued, and there was that famous lack of tact of his. "Why don't you take over Kunikida's shopping? He's gonna be busy yelling at Dazai for a while so you might as well." You sighed, which you'd been doing a lot lately. If anybody else had walked up to you and said that, you would have asked them who the hell they thought they were, but it's Ranpo so you let it go because you know he doesn't mean anything by it.

“I’m busy, actually. I’m finishing up a report that’s due by the end of the week.” You told him, then smirked. “Last time I checked, you have working legs. Why don’t you go if your snacks are so important?” “No way! I’d get lost if I tried to find the supermarket all by myself!” Ranpo protested loudly and you marvelled that a twenty-six-year-old man could announce that so freely and confidently. “And anyway, you’re not busy at all – you haven’t typed anything for the last fifteen minutes. Either you’re already finished and just don’t feel like going or you aren’t done and don’t know what to write next so you’re stalling for time.” You’ve seen him do it many times, but you still couldn’t help but marvel at Ranpo’s galaxy brain. He got all that from merely listening for your typing? “I- wow.” You said, closing your mouth. “Okay, fine, you’re right, I am stuck.” “See?” Ranpo smirked. “If you go on a supply run, you’ll get to stretch your legs and can come back to your silly report later. Maybe it’ll give you some fresh ideas of what to write.” It’s sound logic, if a tad bit manipulative given Ranpo made it sound like such a chore a couple of seconds ago, but Yosano, who had also evidently grown weary of all the racket, chimes in. “You might as well go,” she said, shaking her head. “You know Ranpo won’t leave it alone until he gets his own way.” “Nope!” Ranpo admitted with a cheeky little smile that made Yosano smile in response. “If you hurry you can even get back in time to finish that dumb book you’ve been carting around everywhere, even if it’s so obvious who the killer is.” “Wha-?” you blurted out, glancing reflexively at your bag you’d dumped on your desk earlier, where sure enough, a corner of your book is poking out. “You haven’t read it, have you? So how could you-?” “I skimmed the back of it when you went to get a drink earlier,” Ranpo shrugged, and a bubble of relief welled up in your chest. So, he hadn’t actually read it, he was just being dismissive like he usually was when something didn’t interest him. And then he added, “But even so it’s pretty obvious the best friend has to be the killer.” Your mouth fell open. “What?!” you spluttered in disbelief. “That’s- you haven’t even read it! You just admitted as much!” “But the summary says the main character gets the phonecall when the best friend leaves the room to talk to someone on her phone, right?” Ranpo replied, pointing at you. “That gives her the perfect opportunity to overheard everything being said and rush back in when the main character sees what’s in the garden and screams. She has a watertight alibi because she didn’t leave the house the whole time, she was with the main character. Why else would the book even mention when the friend was doing at all?” You’re speechless. As much as you wanted to ignore him, throw his deductions to one side because there’s no way he could know that – the problem is that he can. And it all clicked into place. Every scene from the book was suddenly thrown into a completely different, sinister perspective. Every time the friend offered a shoulder to cry on or was mysteriously absent from the goings-on.

Mystery solved.

Anger boiled up in you, so fast it was like a geyser erupting. Perhaps it wasn’t just Ranpo’s words, maybe it was a culmination of things – stress, frustration, whatever, but it was just so…unfair. You’d been so exhausted the past couple of weeks, that book, the now ruined story, was one of the only things keeping you going. Reading it was your escape from all the annoyances of daily life and occasional dangerous threat that came part and parcel with working for the Armed Detective Agency. Being able to observe a world as a neutral third party, up close and personal with the problems but only as a puzzle to be solved? It’s a luxury that your job, your life, rarely afforded you.

And Ranpo, because he didn’t care, because he never thought about what he said before he just blurted out whatever he felt like, had ruined all of it in one fell swoop. All he cared about was waving his vast intellect around, careless as a madman with a gun. “What the fuck, Ranpo?!” you yelled at him. He had the nerve to look shocked, as well he might – nobody in the Armed Detective Agency ever yelled at Ranpo and the only person who ever scolded him was the president. Even Kunikida deferred to his intelligence and had given up trying to reign in any of his other behaviours. You’ve certainly never so much as raised your voice at him before, no matter how much of a brat he can be. But… “What?” Ranpo said, like he honestly had no idea why you were angry, like your rage had come in as quickly and inexplicably as a bolt of lightning in a clear sky. “I was – I was looking forward to finishing that!” you shouted, hating yourself for how ridiculous you sounded – it was just a book, for god’s sake, but somehow you felt like something had been torn away from you and you couldn’t control yourself. “And you fucking ruined it, you had to spoil it and you don’t even care! All you care about is your fucking candy! You just-“ You broke off just as abruptly, suddenly aware that if you kept yelling like this, you’d start crying and that’s the last thing you wanted. Instead, you just grabbed your bag and ran out of the office with an inarticulate, “Ugh!” of sheer frustration. Ranpo stared after you, his mouth slightly agape. Slowly he shut his mouth, and stood up from your desk, arms limp by his sides. “…I didn’t mean anything by it.” He muttered; more to himself than anyone else. “Was it really not obvious?” Yosano sighed. Your reaction had surprised her, true, and she had no doubt that once you had a little time to cool off, you’d come back and apologise for blowing up at Ranpo like that. It simply wasn’t done in the Armed Detective Agency – Ranpo was the reason it existed at all and everybody knew that. And she knew how fond you were of Ranpo, it was hard to stay angry with him for very long. But even so, she felt for you too. It may have seemed like a small thing, but sometimes it’s the small things that felt the biggest in that exact moment. “She’ll be back.” Yosano assured Ranpo, and he looked up at her. “But in the meantime, I have an idea…” ~ Your walk and subway ride to the supermarket was something of a fog to you – namely because you were so busy fuming to really concentrate on anything else. Arrogant, inconsiderate…manchild! You knew you were being ridiculous – it was just a book and your reaction was out of proportion to the situation. It was simply the straw that broke the camel’s back. But now you knew you’d go through the day feeling flat and defeated. Now you’d just go scrolling idly through your phone or something and curl up on your sofa once you got home, without anything to look forward to. You could watch TV or play games or something, but…it wasn’t quite the same. And you felt kind of stupid for not realising such an obvious twist that Ranpo had discerned merely from glancing at the fucking summary, for god’s sake. It's not his fault he’s a genius. You reminded yourself, arms wrapped around your middle in some fruitless attempt at self-soothing. But he still didn’t have to say anything. He could have just let me enjoy it. Arguing with yourself proved to be a waste of time, of course. As you walked around grabbing things you were pretty sure the Agency was running low on (it wasn’t a perfectly ordered list like Kunikida would have had, of course, but that was too damn bad), you knew you’d already lost most of your initial outrage. You’d have to go back to the Agency with your tail between your legs and apologise to Ranpo. You knew you wouldn’t get one back, because he likely didn’t think he’d done anything wrong, but you did still bad for hurting his feelings. When you got back to the Armed Detective Agency, you were surprised to see it mostly empty. Maybe a job had come up, or people had gone to lunch after you stormed off. You sighed. If that’s the case you wouldn’t be surprised On your desk was a parcel, wrapped in brown paper. Puzzled, you picked it up – you hadn’t expected any mail today and you didn’t usually get anything delivered to the Armed Detective Agency offices anyway, Dazai was horribly nosy and would badger you to tell him everything about any item you got. A brief thought flashed through your mind that it could be something dangerous, maybe sent from somebody in the Port Mafia, but you dismissed it just as quickly – why would they bother targeting you over someone who is a genuine threat to them? It made no sense, and you didn’t think it likely anybody would be able to sneak past both the CCTV, Dazai and Ranpo. Slowly, you tugged off the paper. It was a book. A gorgeous, sleek, heavy paperback book. The pages were so new they were almost blindingly white under the office lighting and the cover had pretty silver filigree around the border. Smoothing your fingertips over the cover, which depicted a woman standing under a street lamp, her profile in shadow, like she’d heard a noise and turned her head to look at it just as the photo was taken. You turned it over and read the synopsis. A crime thriller? Realisation dawned on you and your eyes widened. The door opened and the Tanizaki siblings, Yosano, Kenji and Ranpo all came in, chattering amongst themselves. Yosano and Kenji saw the shopping bags and approached you with a smile. “Hey! Sorry, did you just get back? We wanted to wait for you, but you were gone a little longer than expected. Here, we got you a bento,” Yosano said, rooting around in a bag of her own and handing it to you – it was still warm to the touch. “Thanks,” you said, smiling as you handed Kenji the bags, knowing he’d insist on taking them to the kitchen, and he went off with a happy grin to restock the cupboards. “Where’s Dazai and the others?” “They got a call about a disturbance downtown. They’ll be back later, I’d imagine,” Yosano said, wryly. “Assume this doesn’t have the Port Mafia’s dirty fingerprints on it.” “Right,” you said, but your eyes drifted over to Ranpo, who was already tearing open a bag of gummy bears Kenji must have passed him on his way to the kitchen. Yosano got the hint and excused herself to her clinic, saying she’d better have it ready for when Atsushi inevitably came back with some life-threatening injury. You picked up the book and, taking a deep breath, approached Ranpo at his desk. He pretended not to notice your footsteps until the last second, even though you could practically see his ears pricking up. “Ranpo?” “What is it?” Ranpo said, and though his tone was dismissive, there was a catch in his voice when he spoke. You wondered if it made you a pushover, but his studied attempt to appear unaffected by what happened earlier tugged at your heartstrings all the same. You smiled and leaned down, pressing a quick peck to his cheek, which was pleasantly warm against your lips. Ranpo’s head whipped around so he could stare at you, the sun catching his open eyes and making the green of his irises sparkle like broken glass. “Thank you.” You said, softly, the words only meant for him. You held out the book. “This looks amazing.” “Yeah, well, it should do. I’m the one who picked it out!” he said proudly, trying to play off the faint hint of a blush on his cheeks. “That’s a way better mystery, even I had to look at the first few chapters before I had it all worked out.” You stifled a laugh, imagining Ranpo standing around in a bookshop, holding a giant paperback in his hands and flipping casually through it like it was his own personal library. No doubt he inhaled a few muffins from the coffee shop upstairs while he was at it. “And I’m sorry about-“ you began, hurriedly, since you figured it’d be more awkward for you both to apologise with a room full of people earwigging, but Ranpo waved you off. “Nevermind that. Hey, come look at this new case I’m working on!” You smiled, knowing he’d already forgiven you – he didn’t show his own personal missions to just anyone, and sometimes when he did he’d abruptly dismiss you again once something occurred to him or he just decided he’d told you everything you needed to know. But listening to him talk about them was always fascinating, so, still clutching your new book, you sat down in a free chair and scooched closer. “Tell me all about it.”

#Ranpo Edogawa x Reader #reader-insert #Ranpo x You #Blogging #Fanfiction #This is just stupid fluff honestly #I don't know why I wrote this

[oldfashionedmorphine]

hi friends!! i’m super excited to share Will’s perspective from the scene in the basement all the way back in chapter 4 of i’m a wreck (without you here)!!!

i highly recommend reading chapter 17 first!!! 😉

(it’s 2.7k words! oh and psa for anyone who has read my story so far—especially if you haven’t read this chapter in a while: i have gone back and fixed some things i didn’t like cause as much as i loved this chapter, i published it before i was 100% satisfied with it…but it works better now! also idk why but i kinda like Will’s pov more 👀)

🎵🎶 and look!! i even picked out songs!!! :D

tagging my fans: @across-thestars @boahey @magentamee @daydreams-in-the-moonlight @greenfiend @rebellius @booksandpaperss @castelobyers @total-serene560 @wheelersboy @sparks-olivarpente @hazmatazz @suzieburself @unrepentant-byler-shipper @quarter-pasteleven

Enjoy!

Cause It’s the Only Thing I Wanna Do

June 22, 2004 11:47 pm

“—I really wanna know how you’ve actually been, you know, from you.”

“Well, uh...” Mike starts to say, but then he pauses, eyebrows lifting, eyes wide—it looked as though he were trying to figure out where to start first. And then Will watches Mike pour himself another shot, slamming it down fast, and sucking his teeth before he continues, “Well...I live in an apartment, it’s not terrible. Rent is a little expensive where I’m at, so I have a roommate—he’s a law student and I rarely ever see him—but anyway, I had a lot of financial mishaps over the years, so I never quite got out of the cycle of renting to own anything...or heck, even live alone. But it doesn’t really bother me though—I have a cat, her name’s Josephine—that was her name at the shelter and I thought it was cute so I kept it—and uh...definitely no girlfriend…”

Definitely no girlfriend?

The way he had said it raised a tiny little flag in Will’s mind. And then there was a pause between Mike’s words—Will almost found the nerve to ask him to elaborate, but then Mike shakes his head slightly and he’s back to speaking, “And the weather is pretty dreary. Both Nancy and Holly were convinced I have depression. They’re probably right. They said the weather only makes it worse. It does get lonely sometimes too—my relationships—well, nothing ever sticks. Honestly, it's mostly sucked, but I can’t bring myself to leave.”

Will pulls his knees to his chest, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting to hear, but hearing Mike talk about feeling lonely and how his sisters were convinced he had depression didn’t sit well with him. Once upon a time, back during the darker days of being so incredibly furious because Mike had left him behind, there were times when Will had hoped he was miserable, but eventually he grew out of that mindset after his heart hurt less, and over the past couple years, whenever he thought of Mike, he liked to imagine he was happy somehow, even if it was without him. And all the things he knew from afar—the things Nancy had told him—were all positive because she had never once mentioned anything about depression, she only informed him of the highlights. Simple stuff like Mike getting a new job or how he had sent gifts for the kids, and he knew about the cat, just not her name, but of course each time Nancy would also add a little something to the effect of ‘You know, I think he misses you, you should try talking to him—I have his number if you want it’, but of course, he couldn’t do it. He wanted to call, but too much time had passed…and it wasn’t like Mike ever tried to reach out either—Nancy had his number too, so she probably offered it to Mike at some point as well. Ultimately, it felt like the damage was too severe to ever recover from. And it was also very hard to believe that Nancy was really telling the truth—that Mike actually missed him—and not just meddling to make family gatherings less awkward. Maybe she had hoped that if the two of them were friends again, then her brother would be more inclined to visit. Perhaps a selfish motive, but if that was the truth, then he could understand why she would try and make the effort. In the end, Will thought it was best to leave it alone, because there would be less chance of getting hurt again that way…

And when Will realizes Mike had left him a short window to speak, he takes it—he wants Mike to know he's listening. “Why not? If it sucks, why not move somewhere else? What’s stopping you? It’s not like you haven’t done a big move before. Just go somewhere more affordable,” but Mike’s face was still sour, so Will makes a small attempt to provoke a smile with a teasing tone, “and with better weather.”

“I dunno. It’s stupid when I think about it now, but I pissed everyone off back when I first moved—and then you wouldn’t talk to me anymore—I guess I just felt like it all had to mean something.”

Will quirks an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Mike keeps his eyes cast down at his hands, fidgeting with an empty shot glass. “I mean, that me living there, in Seattle, couldn’t be all for nothing. And I only realize now that I was being so fucking stubborn about it. It’s just that...half the time—half the time I was embarrassed that I didn’t live up to my parents expectations. I could have been more—or something. Something more. I had really hoped being somewhere else would have helped, like when people talk about a ‘fresh start’, but I just feel like—I dunno, like I’m going through the motions.” He scoffs. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but...if twelve year old me could see me now I’m sure he’d be pretty disappointed. I let myself get knocked down because of a couple dumbass choices—any normal person would have dusted themselves off and tried again. But not me.”

“Oh…” Will murmurs. He wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Not me...or I dunno, maybe I was just punishing myself.”

Again he watches Mike pour himself another shot of vodka, filling it to the very brim this time, almost to the point it spills over, and as he brings the shot to his mouth, some of the liquor drips onto his shirt and the floor. It was clear Mike’s coordination was wavering with each additional shot. And then Mike offers to pour Will another, but he shakes his head, refusing—Will knew his limits. Three shots of vodka was more than enough, possibly too much, because he was definitely feeling it. If he drank any more he’d regret it in the morning. Not to mention he wasn’t a big fan of getting drunk to begin with. He always feared he’d end up like his deadbeat dad if he wasn’t careful about pacing himself when it came to alcohol.

Mike sets the bottle back on the coffee table. “You probably know this, but I was also holding a major…major grudge against my dad for the longest fucking time because of his—well, cause of all those things he said.” He chuckles, which Will found to be a bit unsettling considering what Mike was saying. “At one point my mom even said that he was ‘sorry for everything’ and that he wanted to try to ‘make amends’…part of me thought she was just saying it to force me to apologize first, but I still couldn’t face him even if it was the damn truth. Like, I just couldn’t trust that he really felt differently after everything—well ‘cause, all those horrible things he said—the things he implied…even about you, they might as well have been…about me. Y’know? I mean, they were…they are, he just didn’t know it. And I really didn’t think he’d still be sorry if he knew about that.”

Wait—what? Did he just—

Will was stunned, though he wasn’t sure he heard him right. Because it wasn’t like he had said the words outright, yet it sounded a hell of a lot like he was implying that—

And now Mike was looking over at him, full of panic, with the kind of expression you’d expect from someone who just revealed a truth they never meant to share. His eyes remain locked on Mike, but the longer he stares at him the more confused it makes him, so Will drops his gaze to the floor and tightens his arms around his legs. No matter how Mike’s face seemed, it wasn’t confirmation of what he thought he heard—hopes he heard.

Out of the corner of his eye, Will sees Mike reaching for the vodka again, this time drinking straight from the bottle. Part of him wanted to snatch the bottle away from Mike—I think you’ve had enough, mister, you’ll regret another drop—except he can’t seem to move a damn muscle for some reason.

And after a moment Mike sighs, setting the bottle down. “Of course, I don’t exactly know how he would’ve handled the news—I mean, obviously I never told him—or anyone from back then—”

But what else would have upset his father so much? What could it possibly have been that he never told him…or anyone else? Drugs? No, because he said it had something to do with me too, so that can’t be it, not to mention the way he emphasized—

Mike hiccups. “As I say this now, you’re the first I’ve—”

Okay, but I’m the first what? I need you to say it!

“—and of course I never let it go with him...but then...it was too late. The option to even think about—well, about finally forgiving him...and telling him the truth about me—”

The truth about—okay, yeah, that has to be it—Ted must’ve said a bunch of homophobic shit to Mike and I was roped into the mix somehow, because Mike said his dad ‘implied horrible things’ that involved me, yet all of it also applied to Mike? So then he must’ve meant that he’s gay…or maybe he’s bisexual? What else would make Ted Wheeler lose his shit? What else would he want to conceal for so long? And that still had to do with me somehow—cause it sure as shit wouldn’t have been over video games…plus…no one—not Nancy, Holly, Karen, El, or any one else—has ever once mentioned anything to me about Mike having a girlfriend since…high school…

“—cut all the bullshit, but...it didn’t. And I didn’t even go—didn’t even go to his funeral. I didn’t deserve to. It’s stupid—or I’m stupid. And now with Nancy—I didn’t—fuck—I didn’t even...consider...that I had so little time left with her. And...my options were taken away...again. I could have—I could have...seen her more. I know we weren’t always...the closest, but she—she definitely made more effort than me—if I had just...been less of a dipshit and forced myself to visit...but now—well, I can’t do that anymore. She’s gone, Will. She’s really...” Mike pauses, then he whispers, “gone.”

And then Will looks back over at Mike—he was using his sleeves to dry his eyes, but his tears were relentless, continuing to spill over, and with snot also dripping from his nose. The mere sight of Mike in this state elicits tears of his own, as well as an overwhelming urge to comfort him, to offer him a shoulder, but when Will starts to inch closer to him, he hesitates. There was a time they used to hug, but what if Mike didn’t want to be touched?

Fuck it—he can push me away if he needs to.

Will must have caught him by surprise with his sudden impulse, because now Mike’s looking at him with glossy bloodshot eyes as a shuddered gasp escapes his pale lips. And then Mike starts to tremble as though he were on the cusp of shattering into a million pieces. But for a single selfish second, as Mike was falling apart right before his eyes, Will can’t help but marvel at the sheer impossibility of the situation. At how close he was to Mike. Their knees were now pressed together and the scent of his shampoo was so prominent—citrus and mint—mixed with a hint of alcohol coming from his breath. But the moment passes and then the instinct to wrap an arm around him kicks in, to draw him even closer. Mike’s head immediately falls onto Will’s shoulder and his sobs grow louder.

And between sobs and sniffles Mike starts stuttering, “I’m n-never gonna see her again—ever. Never hear her voice—see her s-smile. Never—and I missed out—the pictures—her! Never, n-never—I’m so stupid—stupid—” Without any warning, Mike moves to throw his arms around Will, seeming desperate as he grabs onto his shirt, pulling at the fabric so intensely that threads begin to snap, threatening to rip the seams apart entirely—hey, I like this shirt—except Will couldn't find it in him to make Mike stop. All he can do is try and hold him and hope that it helps. And when Mike starts to beg softly into his ear, the words tug even more at his heartstrings, “Please, please—don’t go. Please, you can’t go. Please, please s-stay—ple-please don’t go. I don’t want—I don’t want—don’t leave me again. Please, please don’t—don’t—don’t—” then Mike tucks his face into the crook of Will’s neck, his pleading words becoming too muffled to comprehend.

Will tries to ignore the small part inside of him that feels betrayed for allowing himself to get this close to Mike and risk his heart all over again. And he briefly thinks back to when he held that number in his hand, debating with himself for hours before he pushed a single button—before he ever left that voicemail—because he knew exactly what would happen. It was a slippery slope and the stakes were high. But of course, a larger part of him wanted Mike back more than anything, so he had set aside his fear and from the very second he dialed his number, he was all in—heart unsheathed and vulnerable. And now here he was, sitting on the floor of an old familiar basement, more than a little tipsy, with Michael Wheeler drunk and trembling in his arms, begging for him to never leave him again.

But tomorrow Mike would wake up and not remember any of this. And if Will were to ask him about it, he’d reply that he didn’t mean anything he said. That it was all a mistake. That it was only extreme grief and copious amounts of vodka that made him utter such words, but Will tries to ignore every invading thought. Thoughts driven only by fear—a defense mechanism designed to shield his heart by preparing him for some hypothetical worst case scenario like last time. Because something inside him was fully aware that he had slipped over that edge and he was falling once again for the idea of spending the rest of their lives together. And that maybe he wouldn’t survive this time if it all went wrong.

But it won’t. Not this time. This time it’ll be different—no more hiding.

“Hey, hey...it’s gonna be okay. I’m here...” Will whispers to him as he brings a hand up to stroke the back of Mike’s head, his hair the slightest bit damp to the touch, and then slowly his shaking begins to subside. “I know it hurts. But it’s gonna be okay... maybe not right now, but someday.”

Mike’s sobs taper off until the only sound filling the space in the room was REO Speedwagon’s Keep On Loving You;

“…When I said that I love you, I meant that I love you forever…”

Will rocks him gently side to side, humming the song as if it were a lullaby. Eventually Mike grows heavier in his arms and Will realizes it would be better for Mike to sleep in a bed, so he tries to rouse him. “Mike?”

No answer, so he tries again, giving him a little shake. “Mike…Mike?”

“Hmm.”

“Come on, let’s get you to bed—”

He groans at the suggestion.

“You can’t sleep like this, come on…”

Mike mumbles—it sounds like he was asking him to stay.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

He finally manages to help him up, but they only get as far as the sofa bed right behind them. At first they both stay sitting at the very edge, with Mike still trying to hold onto Will, but in the end, Will gently eases him towards the pillow and he goes out like a light.

Will tilts his head as he leans over him, then reaches a hand out—at first it was to simply push back the hair from Mike’s eyes, but right after, he caresses his cheek with the back of his hand. Even with puffy eyes and tear-soaked skin with splotches of red, he was beautiful. Maybe more so now than ever before.

And Will felt guilty for wanting to capture Mike in such a dark moment. But that feeling didn’t stop him from picking up his sketchbook off the floor and opening it to an empty page…

#byler #byler fanfic #byler fanfiction #iawwyh

[qawcamiz]

Hi! I really liked your Tighnari story, so I’m here to request more if you’re up to it! I was wondering how you’d think Tighnari react to his S/O getting hurt in a battle…(I totally get it if you’re busy and don’t want to take up my request though!)

Thank you!

Tiny bruise

notes: I can assure you all that I love receiving requests, so don't be afraid of sending your thoughts to my inbox, so I could help you with your scenarios 💗💗💗

also if this (plot) isn't what you're expecting im sorry 🙏🙏 i did my best 😭

Adventuring was one of your favorite things in the world, but even if that didn’t necessarily mean that it wasn’t risky, it didn’t make it any less exciting for you, especially since you valued it because it has brought you to love him.

Exploring the Teyvat with him was a lot like a tale, and he made sure to tell you about his many adventures whenever you were alone together, you could only imagine what he must have been through with the help of the numerous books on the history of Teyvat’s culture he had read, and you always listened to every word he said attentively,

Tighnari loved the fact that you would eagerly listen to anything he was telling you, and he knew you would do whatever you could to understand his experiences, which was something he cherished more than anything else.

Being a Woodland Watcher, He is also positively familiar with various species of forest creatures living in the jungle, he knows a lot about plants and trees and all types of creatures that live within them. He loves the magnificence of nature, and how it can give off beautiful vibes when you look at it.

He also once suffered from heatstroke while exploring the desert, which left him very vulnerable, so in the end he ended up declaring his disdain towards it.

Aside from not being fond of the desert, he was also not keen on the idea of you getting hurt on the combat field, Even though he's well aware that you're a strong and self-reliant person, he still felt responsible for everything that might happen to you, no matter what the circumstances might be. He is very protective of you, but he is quite willing to put aside those feelings and focus on protecting the two of you instead.

—

"Tighnari... I already told you it'll be fine! it's just a tiny bruise." You soothed him after taking a good look at the bruise that was already forming on your cheekbone. The swelling had already reached the size of a plum, and you could feel its pain radiating throughout your face. It wasn't too bad for now, but it certainly wouldn't go unnoticed.

"You wouldn't know, Even if it's a tiny bruise like what you're saying, it could still get infected if we don't take care of it properly, So just relax and let me take care of it. Also, try not to move so much, the scrapes tend to spread faster when you move." Tighnari gently held your chin between his fingers to prevent you from moving around too much, so as not to worsen the injury.

"I'm sorry... for being clumsy and weak, like- not being able to fight those stupid mushrooms properly and not knowing enough how to defend myself, I should've learned how to wield my weapon better..." Your words trailed off in a sad tone of voice, Tighnari noticed A tear began rolling down your cheek as you spoke, feeling guilty for making such a mess out of your situation.

"You have nothing to apologize for, love. The whirling fungus appeared from behind you, resulting in a tiny wound on your beautiful face, No one would ever predict that from happening since you were focused on fighting the floating fungus. Besides, there's no need for you to blame yourself when they are the reason why you're hurt in the first place.” His voice softened and the way he looked at you made your heart warm, you couldn't help but smile lightly at his kind words.

"You're making it hard for me to not kiss you right now." You pouted a little, which made Tighnari chuckle lightly. "what's stopping you from doing so?" He asked, and before your brain could stop you, you leaned forward and captured his lips with yours.

His lips felt soft and supple against yours, slightly chapped due to lack of use, but that only made his kiss even more tender. He held onto your cheeks, carefully, kissing you deeply, you wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss further and tangling your fingers through his hair.

It was passionate and full of love, and you couldn't help but think that this was exactly what you wanted.

#genshin impact #genshin impact headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #genshin tighnari #genshin impact tighnari #tighnari x you #tighnari x reader #tighnari #tighnari x yn #tighnari x y/n #tighnari fluff #genshin tighnari fluff

[maybeimamuppet]

hello everyone

welcome to my birthday party

for those of you who don’t read picking teams and didn’t see today is my third writing anniversary so i just wanted to take a second to thank all of you in a little more depth than i could fit in an authors note.

around this time exactly three years ago i was getting ready to post my first ever oneshot, panic texting my friends and wondering how this would go. and even though i physically cannot bring myself to read that version of i should’ve told you anymore i still just. open it and look at it sometimes. and appreciate it for being what began all of this.

i’ve never been one to stick with hobbies for longer than a few months and i was fully expecting this to be one of them. i thought it would be something i did for fun for six months or so and then dropped like everything else. i thought nobody would read my things or comment or leave kudos or anything like that.

but now three years later i have 295 followers across all my platforms. around 73,930 hits. 3230 kudos on ao3 alone. so many comments. so much love. i have a community here that i never expected to have.

whether you’ve been here for my whole three years or just found me recently, whether you’re a lurker or you interact with everything i post, thank you. i do this to get the ideas out of my head, but there’s absolutely no way i would’ve ever kept going if it weren’t for all of you. seeing what you have to say about what i write, hearing what you like and what you’re excited about motivates me more than anything. it’s like fckin crack is far as my brain is concerned i can ride that high so far man

a lot has happened in these three years. i stopped posting weekly, i’ve been through a lot. i’ve grown both as a writer and a person and in spite of not being able to be as consistent or active as i want to be, you all have always been there for me. i still get comments. i still get likes and kudos and votes. and whenever i’m struggling and wishing i could write more and write faster (i’d post daily if i could yall trust me i hate this as much as you) i’m comforted knowing you’re all still there for me, and you still love these characters as much as me.

so yeah. as i get a little misty over this totally normal thing to cry about just. thank you. enjoy the birthday cake and thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here with me on this lil ride. ironically i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to have the words to express what this and all of you mean to me. thank you all for everything.

lots of love,

ezzy

#emotions with ezzy woo #look guys i made us cake #and yes i’m fully aware of what the icing looks like stfu #i did what i could with what i had lmao

[rekas-writes]

Hello, can I order headcanons? If so, I would like a yoru x male reader with an agent whose skills are similar to a vampire, remember to eat healthy and take care of yourself!! ♡

A/N: Hello and thank you for your order! It was really fun to write! I promise I am also taking care of myself ^^ And here’s a note for you to do the same too!

Also, my inbox has quite the stack of reqs, but I’m doing my best to get through the list as quickly and as thoroughly as possible! It’s just a little bit overwhelming ^^; It’s also not helping that Tumblr on my pc is eating my reqs ;-; I’m glad my phone has all of them still (at least I hope it does-)

✧☕✧ Thank you for ordering, please do visit again soon~! ✧🍮✧

Strange Cravings and Love Bites

Pair: Yoru/ M! Agent + Radiant! Reader Source: Valorant

Type: Headcanons - 1,222 words Genre: Fluff, Slice of Life, Angsty/Hurt w/ Comfort at the very end Perspective: Second-Person (You/Your)

TW: Mild references to violence, reader getting hurt, reader biting Yoru and getting a little carried away but he's fine! + thought of Yoru dying at the very end

⋆♱✮☽🦇☽✮♰⋆

You remind Yoru a lot of the classical vampire figure, to the point where he kind of associates you with some of the common tropes. More specifically, the weaknesses. You may not be able to tell with his prickly demeanour, but he is a worrier- especially with those he holds dear, doubly so if it concerns his boyfriend. He doesn't want you to get hurt, and ends up projecting that whenever he gets harsh.

Que his surprise when he sees you eating garlic bread or chilling casually under the sun. You had to remind him that you weren’t actually a vampire, and if they really did burn up- Reyna would have to carry an umbrella to every day mission (You heard her laugh behind you right after. You weren’t sure whether to count your days or to consider yourself on her good side)

Though, that being said, the Sun probably does have some kind of influence over you and your abilities. Maybe you have an allergic reaction if you’re under it too long, or it takes longer to channel your abilities, or you could just feel weaker under the harsh light (Maybe even changing personality like a certain FE character)

Somehow, being beside Yoru makes that all feel better, if just a little. Maybe it’s because he’s your 夜 (*Yoru -> night). Your comforting, starlit night in the overwhelming brightness of day. If you ever spill those thoughts to him, he will short-circuit no matter how hard he tries to brush it off. Any flattery unrelated to his prowess in battle is way harder for him to take in and retort, even with his ego. It’s quite easy to tease him and watch his face glow warm with a blush- like the hue of the setting Sun

"Like the night sky, you're like a blessing to me! My very own good luck charm! Thank you, Yoru."

"... You're terrible at flirting. Focus on the mission already, idiot," // Internally: "adsjjskdjdk???SDAJKDAJHKJDK???"

If your eyes are sensitive to the light, there’s a good chance he gave you a pair of sunglasses. They might’ve even been your first gift from him! Having seen you wordlessly struggling with the glaring sunlight, he either leaves a pair in your locker or shoves them in your face while avoiding your eye contact. He will never admit that he was thinking about you, let alone worrying enough to get you something. Don’t ask, he will scoff and say it’s because he doesn’t want you dragging the team behind with your incompetence. Ouch.

You may have keen senses, like Reyna’s ability to hear people’s heartbeats. Your eyes are sharp, and you can smell copper like a shark despite nothing being spilt on the battlefield just yet; or perhaps your sense of smell is more distinct. Maybe certain people smell sweet and alluring or plain and uninteresting, if you have the urge to feed just like a vampire. You may even need to feed, in order to recover your strength. (On base, you totally drink from "juice pouches" Like some kind of morbid capri-sun)

If it’s the latter, Yoru most definitely draws you in the most. There’s just something you can’t put your finger on. If you focused on it, you'd be able to guess where he was with those heightened senses of yours. Mirror Yoru really needs to watch out when you’re on the prowl, that unique draw applies to him too

As a radiant related to creatures of the night, there’s a very good chance you can shapeshift into a bat! Yoru could never admit it but he thinks that form of yours is very cute. He definitely has the urge to just hold you whenever you shift. He thinks you can’t tell, but you can see the way his expression subtly changes to one of awe. No thought, only hold bat boyfriend gently.

Some agents have definitely found you like that, just napping somewhere in the common room with you in your bat form perched on his head. You might even be able to control or summon bats! He put a limit on how many you could summon in his room, though. He's not willing to have his bed be surrounded in bats, unfortunately :(

There’s been times where you've pushed yourself too far, the strain bearing its weight down on you. Like all radiants, you get tired when you use your abilities too much. You’re running on empty when you get hit badly, body too exhausted and hungry to mend itself like usual. Alone with a hand pressed to your biggest wound, you wait- head growing foggier as time seems to all but slow down.

You can’t describe the look on Yoru’s face when he finally finds you. He’s silent, and you can't hear his usual scolding and sharp insults. It's frightening, you realise. More frightening than your possible death. Instead, he's kneeling forward and offering his arm to your mouth. It’s positively dizzying when you breathe in, self-control broken as your body demands for you to accept.

When you finally snap back to focus, you’d never felt dread like that before, lurching backwards as you try and focus on hearing the thud of Yoru’s pulse. Guilt and anxiety are at the forefront of your mind, with apologies spewing forth and shaking hands. He only brings you into a slight hug, one partially induced out of light-headedness, as he mumbles your name and a partial command/plea,

“Take better care of yourself.”

He makes you swear to come to him whenever you need to drink after that. Yoru can't bear the sight of you like that again, slouched, wounded and gasping for breath with dulling eyes, your skin a sickly hue. He was prepared to offer as much as it took to get you back to usual. He probably accidentally confessed here and now, after realising just how much you meant to him.

If immortality is part of your radiant abilities, deep down, you knew this wonderful relationship would one day become a bittersweet memory. You avoided telling him for as long as possible, not wanting to burden him with your knowledge of what will happen. But one day, it’s inevitable as you gaze at the night sky and count the stars like they’re the countdown to the day you would be left behind.

You’re sombre, the terrifying thoughts weighing you down more than usual, and Yoru can tell whatever it is that had been plaguing you for these past few weeks is really piling up. He doesn’t want to have to force it out of you, but it pains him to see you like this. He’ll wait, no matter how long it takes to gather the strength

That day, you break. It’s as he holds your hand gently- as though you’re made of glass. He calls your name, not your code name, not a nickname. His tone is just as gentle, yet firm- steadfast in letting you know he has you as much as you have him,

“You can talk to me.”

You crack and splinter, caving in to his warmth and comfort. You vent the painful pangs in your heart, the dark storm that rages in your head. All that pent up grief and pain floods out into the abyss of night. To the world’s night and your night; the night that lets you cling close and embraces you readily to soften your anguish

#valorant x reader #yoru x reader #x male reader #x m reader #x transmasc reader #x trans male reader #x ftm reader #valorant #valorant yoru #reader insert #valorant fanfiction

[my-castles-crumbling]

i’m having a bit of a gender dilemma at the moment.

i’m comfortable in my body, and i’m cool with she/her pronouns, but sometimes I feel a bit off.

i just think it’d be nice to go by they/them. Like, maybe not all the time but sometimes?

I told a friend of mine and she said i’d been indoctrinated by non-binary people… she wasn’t the best person to tell in hindsight but it sorta slipped out.

i don’t know really how to test it, i’d feel weird asking my friends to use they/them pronouns for me. They’re not like my other friend or anything, just wouldn’t get it. They’re not brilliantly educated on the topic and they’re not totally cool with the fact that i’m Bi.

Whenever I think about, or someone happens to use it, I quite like it. They/them pronouns. Plus i’m a lot more comfortable being referred to as a ‘partner’ and not ‘girlfriend’ or “wife” (i’m not married but just imagining it feels off). It’s not like, totally overwhelming, the feeling. It’s just sort of… there. Like it’d be nicer, but it’d be a lot of effort to explain it to people?

I guess i’m asking because you go by They/them/she. I assume it’s different for everyone but i don’t know. Could you maybe tell me a bit about how you knew you preferred (or liked) they/them pronouns? If you don’t mind 💖

Thank youuuuu

Hi! <3

So, I think the first thing that happened to me when I was thinking about my gender was learning about the concept of 'gender envy.' Or basically...seeing how a person expresses their gender and being like....'damn. I want that. I want to be that.' Once I realized I had gender envy for not just girls, I followed some nonbinary creators and listened to them talk about their experiences and feelings.

Then, of course, I did nothing for about three months. I let it eat at me and I denied it.

After a while, though, I confessed what I was feeling to my wife and my brother and I asked both of them to use they/them for me. I started expressing myself in more genderfluid ways and I researched a LOT.

The rest is history lol.

I mean from what you're saying, it sounds like you should do some research and some experimentation. Research different nonbinary identities. Decide which ones, if any, sound nice to you. Try expressing your gender in different ways, even if it's just alone in your room. Try experimenting with makeup and contour to shape your face differently. Hell, give yourself facial hair with mascara and see if you like it. Ask people online to refer to you with different pronouns and see how it feels. And try lots of different things! Pay attention to what feels bad, what feels weird but good, and what feels euphoric.

Also, for the record, it's okay to try all these things and decide, in the end, you're good with she/her pronouns. You don't have to be afraid of whatever the results may be.

Let me know if you need any help (including using any pronouns with you). You've got this, and you have a lot of people on here who are cheering you on!

<3 <3 <3

#ask #asks #ask cas

[hollygl125]

On the adventure endgame, and why I support Sara leaving the lab:

From an inside-the-show perspective, I 110% support Sara’s decision to leave the lab to go off on an epic eco-adventure with Grissom, just as he once decided to leave the lab to go off on an epic eco-adventure with her.  I would totally make that choice in her circumstances.  From an outside-the-show perspective, I also support the narrative choice to have Sara and Grissom go off on an adventure together rather than stay together in Vegas.

While GSR-fic writing, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about why I support this ending, so I’ve outlined some of the (terribly rambling) reasons below the cut.

I honestly—though, yes, I am somewhat embarrassed to admit it—love (the GSR of) “Immortality” (16): it’s its own little self-contained Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom love story of angst, yearning, wistful glances, and happy endings, and I have spent more time rewatching that last dock scene than I should willingly admit to anyone.  (And JF and WP are so beautiful together—so beautiful!)

I honestly—though, yes, I am somewhat embarrassed to admit it—love (the GSR of) “Immortality” (16): it’s its own little self-contained Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom love story of angst, yearning, wistful glances, and happy endings, and I have spent more time rewatching that last dock scene than I should willingly admit to anyone.  (And JF and WP are so beautiful together—so beautiful!)

But this also highlights how bizarre the whole later-season GSR storyline was.  These people were crazy for each other!  They had no conception of personal space!  They wanted nothing more than to stand on top of each other!  They wanted nothing more than to breathe each other’s air!

Of course, as an episode of CSI, “Immortality” (16) is also pretty ridiculous.  Whenever I get to the “you turned her heart” line I almost always have to pause the show for a minute just to digest the ridiculousness (or sometimes to do a little rant to myself or whoever’s near).

But (returning to the positive vibes here)….  According to Zuiker’s DVD commentary (if I’m remembering it correctly), the team had very little time or resources to put together the finale, plus all the sets had already been taken down.  (Is that right?)  Yet they gave us bomb tests and butterflies and bees and a boat (completely with a Moby Dick reference) and a happy ending to what was basically, in the end, the GSR story.  Zuiker also (again according to my memory of his DVD commentary) insisted on filming a scene I consider crucial to the ending and on editing out a scene that would have distracted from it.  So, overall, I’m very grateful.

Anyway, here’s why I like the adventure endgame:

*Speaking personally, for my own life, if I could use my background and skills to go off on an eco-adventure with the love of my life, I would 100% make that choice.  I will admit that bias.  (Maybe that’s the whole ballgame?  I’m not sure.)

*If I were Sara Sidle, and I could use my background and skills to go off on an eco-adventure with the love of my life, I again would 100% make that choice.  Making that choice is consistent with Sara’s characterization.

*Jorja Fox said long ago that she thought Sara would choose love over work: “Sara, by virtue of being a realist, is also very much a romantic. So I think if she really was in love with someone, and it came down to a choice between work and love, I think she’d go in the direction of love” (TV Guide, 2006).  (I definitely think WP was being coy in his answer to the same question.)

*In this case at least, love > job.  Specifically for Sara, as someone on Tumblr pointed out (I can’t find the reference right now), because of who she is, she is more likely to find another good, interesting, intellectually challenging job than she is to find another love, let alone another love of her life.  Man she’s loved quite madly for seventeen years is a pretty irreplaceable role.  It’s not like she’s choosing between some guy she met online a few weeks ago and a job for which she’s been working her whole life.

*Sara doesn’t have to choose between love and the job, though.  Grissom clearly wants to talk to her throughout “Immortality” (16) but doesn’t think he deserves to ask to be in her life again.  He would totally return to Vegas for her, but she wants to join him on the adventure.

(If he told her the only way for them to be together was for her to give up the job and follow him, that would be a completely different story, but that would also be totally inconsistent with his characterization and what “Immortality” (16) shows us.)

Moreover, once the two of them are back together, (1) he would not be good with either one of them getting anywhere near any bombs, and (2) they would be total partners in whatever adventure they undertook.

*Sara would want and enjoy an (eco-)adventure; she would not enjoy being lab director.

*Sara has proven herself, at a minimum, amenable to change.  She has previously picked up and moved her life on basically a moment’s notice.  Sara either picks up her whole life and leaves or threatens to do so on several occasions throughout the course of the show, so Sara either likes or is open to change (at least change she initiates—i.e., she is the agent of change, rather than change is imposed upon her).

*Sara is the most progressive of the CSIs.  She had (extremely dysfunctional, yes) hippie parents and spent most of her first three decades near or in San Francisco.  She cares about animals and wildlife, she’s a vegetarian, she likes vegetation, and she cares about the environment.  (In 2007, as shown in “Living Doll” (07x24), she drives a 2006 Toyota Prius II; at the time, the Prius, a hybrid, was among the cleanest vehicles sold in the United States on the basis of smog-forming emissions.)

*Sara has previously wanted an adventure (e.g., the Sea Shepherd, the Galapagos) and has acted accordingly (going off on a marine research vessel then doing research in the Costa Rican rainforest).

*Sara’s happy (work) place is doing fun science and investigations with Grissom, not doing administrative work while Grissom does something else in Vegas (even though Sara working as a CSI while Grissom does something else in Vegas would have been far preferable to what happened in the later seasons).  They like working together (and they’ve already wasted enough time they should have spent together).

*Sara would not enjoy being lab director, and I’m quite certain she knows it.  She doesn’t exactly look thrilled to be completing her application for the position.

Although later seasons of CSI made Russell both lab director and night shift supervisor, that’s not realistic for the top crime lab in the U.S. outside Quantico.  Lab director would be an administrative/managerial job.  Season 5 is more realistic.  As soon as Ecklie gets promoted to assistant lab director, he stops doing lab or field work (to the extent of refusing to cross the crime scene tape because then he would have to testify) and starts doing administrative and managerial tasks, as he explains at least a couple times throughout that season.

In “Nesting Dolls” (05x13), Sara tells Ecklie, “You couldn't hack it in the field, so you fail your way up”; similarly, in “Secrets & Flies” (06x06), in response to McKeen querying whether he might be interested in more responsibility or a promotion, Grissom says, “You know, Oscar Wilde once said, ‘Ambition is the last refuge of failure.’  I'm fine.  Thanks.”  Both Sara and Grissom like science and fieldwork and hate (and, honestly, probably have a fair bit of contempt for) the kind of work being lab director would entail.

I can’t see either Sara or Grissom wanting to rise above the position of shift supervisor.  I can see Sara enjoying a promotion that would give her more responsibility and autonomy in her role as a criminalist (which is how I understood the season 4 promotion for which she and Nick apply) but not one that takes her away from that work.  Hence it’s not all that surprising that in seasons 5-15 she never appears to try to rise up the ranks at all.

I also think Sara would have to contort and to suppress a lot of her personality, her instincts, and just generally herself for that kind of administrative/managerial role, and (though she could have succeeded if it were what she really wanted) it would ultimately have made her pretty miserable.

*Sara, if we’re being honest, does not at all have the experience necessary to be director of the top non-federal crime lab in the U.S.  (I love Sara!  But this is still true!)  Sara is a great criminalist!  Sara has no administrative or managerial experience!  Probably even Nick becoming a lab director in San Diego with only a couple years as assistant shift supervisor (a role from which he was demoted) under his belt is unrealistic.  But Sara, a known non-people person, with no relevant administrative or managerial experience, getting the job as director of the country’s top non-federal lab is beyond unrealistic.

Maybe going from CSI to lab director could make sense for someone who is clearly a gifted future administrator and manager (I honestly don’t know!), but that is not Sara.  That is maybe the opposite of Sara.  Sara is a shit-disturber.  Sara is awkward.  Sara’s brilliant manipulation of Nora Cross in CSIV, for example, is quite beyond what CSI Sara could pull off.  (Sure, she can persuade Grissom, but that’s because he never doesn’t want to sleep with her, and even then it took her years.)

Ecklie would have other internal options (the other shifts’ supervisors and assistant supervisors), he could look at external candidates, and he could appoint an interim director if he needed more time.  I’m not saying Sara could never become lab director (I think she could if she really wanted the position and seriously pursued it on a longer-term basis), but at the time of “Immortality” (16) she doesn’t have the necessary experience or even a demonstrated interest in that kind of role.

(Like, seriously, when Grissom says she deserves the promotion, that can only be because he sees little gold stars floating everywhere and hears symphonies playing every time he looks at her.)

*Sara being appointed lab director is so clearly an unrealistic contrivance for the sake of the finale plot that I can’t really care in the slightest that she gives up the job.  First, of course, there’s the two points above (she wouldn’t want or be qualified for the position).  Then there’s the timeline in “Immortality” (16).

Sara is completing her application at what I presume is the start of her shift (at the beginning of the finale).  That’s the same shift when the bomb goes off in the casino.  Russell gives her the case because she’s applying for the position.  He suggests it will help her application, even though, again, her competency as a criminalist really says nothing about her readiness to take on a high-level administrative/managerial role.

Based on their clothes (mostly, Sara’s striped t-shirt), they work on the case all night, all day, and through to the next night.  Then the next day (I presume it’s the next day based on Heather still wearing the same clothes from the day before), immediately after the case is solved, Sara gets the promotion.  This also coincidentally happens to be Russell’s last day, from the look of things (him packing up his to-go box).

Russell has clearly given prior notice of his departure, but Sara submits her application only maybe 36 hours before he is leaving, and, within those same 36 hours (while a crazy bombing plot is going on in the city and making international news), Ecklie hires her.

Being lab director is clearly an important role.  (In season 5, Ecklie gets a huge black-tie dinner with speeches just for being named assistant lab director).  The hiring of a lab director would absolutely be a more significant endeavour than this.

So, Sara applying for the job at the beginning of the episode and getting it at the end provides a nice framing for the episode.  Sara getting the promotion leads into a nice Sara/Grissom scene near the end.  Sara getting the promotion adds more suspense to the ultimate will they/won’t they question.  But, logistically speaking, it doesn’t work.

(As an aside, in terms of logistics, I think the story could have made more sense if they’d already chosen a new lab director and Ecklie was still just deciding who would step in as night-shift supervisor.  Sara’s running of the case would then have some significance, she’d maybe actually want that job, and she would presumably be sufficiently qualified to get that job.  They could still have found an excuse for the final photo-op—her having been the lead on the bombing case and then getting the promotion would make for a nice story.  It would also be an even clearer parallel with whatever promotion Grissom got (I think—this show is so muddled in places) at the beginning of the series.)

*Finales are often a time of transition.  Sara’s found family has largely moved on (or is moving on), and it makes sense for Sara to be doing the same.  I love workplace found families (The West Wing, Sports Night, Parks and Recreation, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Superstore, etc.), but finales often involve transitions (usually symbolizing personal growth) for the characters in those found families (The West Wing, Parks and Recreation, New Girl, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Superstore, etc.).  (Occasionally characters realize they shouldn’t be moving on—à la Russell Sam Malone in Cheers—but that’s less common).

Most of Sara’s crime lab found family has moved on or is moving on.  Warrick died.  Grissom left the lab.  Wendy left.  Catherine left (although she seems to be coming back).  Brass retired.  Nick left.  Finlay died.  Russell is leaving.  To my mind, Greg and Morgan are moving on together (meaning Sara’s importance in Greg’s life will inevitably ultimately diminish), though they may be staying at the lab for the time-being.  (Morgan is wearing a huge sparkly ring on her left ring finger in her final scene, in which she embraces Greg after they defuse the bombs in the parking garage.  I’ve always taken this to mean they finally got together.)  Nick has moved to California, and there’s probably a decent chance of Greg and Morgan ultimately moving back to California, since they are both from the L.A. area.  (Unless we learn otherwise, I’m assuming that’s where they are now.)  (Many thanks to the second season of CSI: Vegas for ruining my Greg/Morgan headcanons, but the above was true at the time.)

Sara has already left the lab once, and it makes sense for her to be doing the same again.  Plus, in 2015, it’s not exactly hard to stay in touch with people long-distance, and Sara has practice.  (Long-distance friendships are presumably a lot easier to maintain than a long-distance marriage, though I’ve never tried the latter.)

*For me, the two biggest ongoing narrative arcs (journeys) of the first nine seasons are Sara and Grissom’s romance and the (related) personal growth of Grissom, the show’s protagonist.  Both those stories culminate with Grissom finding Sara in the rainforest, which gives us one of my favourite scenes of the entire series.  It’s a great ending for both.  (In my opinion, the whole show could have ended right then and there; its narrative arc was complete.)  But Jorja Fox’s return, and TPTB’s handling of it, sort of threw a wrench in things, and then ultimately we got season 13, and I don’t think I need to say any more about that.  To my mind, Sara and Grissom going off on an adventure together best restores the happily-ever-after ending they originally received—and deserved.

*Whatever she later claims, Sara in “Goodbye and Good Luck” (08x07) clearly intends a permanent departure from the lab, and in season 9 she wants an adventure (e.g., the Sea Shepherd, the Galapagos).  She goes off on some sort of research vessel then goes to do research in the rainforest in Costa Rica.  She wants an adventure (preferably with Grissom).

After he and Sara divorce, Grissom picks a path that coincides with what Sara had wanted (a Sea Shepherd-like organization) and names his boat after one of their favourite books.  I don’t think he ever expects her to join him, yet he chooses a cause she would like.  He subconsciously selects something that might best entice her to join him (if she had any clue he wanted her around).  (Even when she’s not around, everything he does, he does for her, or with her in mind; he’s always thinking of her.)

*I don’t blame anyone but TPTB for the divorce.  (Sometimes things are so out of character that I cannot blame the characters; I have to blame the TPTB.)  But the precipitating event really is Sara’s return to Vegas.  After that, as far as I am concerned, they are like boiling frogs (i.e., their marriage disintegrates so slowly that they don’t even notice until it’s too late, and then Grissom thinks he is doing the right thing by setting Sara free).  So, to undo that mess, it makes sense that they would again leave Vegas and continue their intended adventure together.

*From a narrative standpoint, Sara leaving the lab to go after Grissom parallels Grissom leaving the lab to go after Sara.  It’s balanced.  It’s symmetrical.

Although Sara originally comes to Vegas for Grissom, those are different circumstances.  That (Sara moving to Vegas post-“Cool Change” (01x02)) is guy she’s secretly kind of in love with offering her a great job opportunity and her accepting.  That is not “you are the love of my life and I will give up everything I hold dear for you,” which is what “One to Go” (09x10) and “Immortality” (16) both are.

Additionally, in both “One to Go” (09x10) and “Immortality” (16), Grissom and Sara (respectively) each go after the other only after the other has tried to set them free, reinforcing the parallel.

Moreover, while Sara gives up a lot in leaving the lab for Grissom, Grissom would have had more difficulty reaching a point where he could give up everything in his well-structured life for Sara.  Sara has proven herself more amenable to change.  In contrast to the actual ending, having Grissom follow Sara away from Vegas (“One to Go,” 09x10) only to end up following her back to Vegas (“Immortality,” 16) would feel very one-sided.

*Finally, the symbolism of the adventure is good.

While deserts can be extremely biodiverse places with their own ecosystems and life (on which I am very much not an expert), in this story the desert is associated with death; it’s the setting of this particular show about death; it’s where Sara is taken to die; and, in the eighth season, Sara literally has to leave Las Vegas and the desert to say goodbye to her ghosts.

Sara has a lot of ghosts.  Sara and Grissom have both spent their lives with death.  Their fathers die when they are young, which strongly influences their upbringings.  They graduate early, which means they begin their jobs early, with both starting out in the coroner’s office in their respective cities and then moving on to different crime labs.  Both are obsessed with their jobs, jobs that revolve around death.

Before they meet each other, neither Sara nor Grissom is fully living; before they meet each other, neither is fully invested in the human experience.  But they meet, and they fall in love, and ultimately they choose life.  (They lift their heads up out of their microscopes, although Sara has always been more prepared to do this than Grissom.)

In “One to Go” (09x10), Sara and Grissom reunite in the tropical rainforest in Costa Rica, an incredibly green, lush, biodiverse place, and honestly I cannot think of a better metaphor for life; I couldn’t find any great stats, but one website I visited stated that the Costa Rican rainforest ranks first in the world in biodiversity per area unit.  The rainforest is also the place Grissom wanted to visit before he died, as stated in “Way to Go” (06x24), where it is thus initially contrasted with death.

Then, in “Immortality” (16), they once again leave the desert, but this time for the ocean.  Again, contrasted with the desert, for our purposes the ocean symbolizes life.  They’ll be working on the conservation of marine life.  They choose life.   They choose the adventure.  Together.

Sara and Grissom reunite in the coastal state where they first met (and where they were both born and raised); they have come full circle.  They sail off into the sunset.  The end (but not actually the end of the story I’m currently telling).

And, lucky for us, we then get an epilogue that shows us just how perfectly magical they are when they are finally allowed to become old(ish) and married together!

Those are my (very rough) thoughts; obviously your perspective may differ! 💛

#csi #gsr #otp: gsr #sara x grissom #grissom x sara #sara sidle #gil grissom #jorja fox #william petersen #💛: survivors in the night #my thoughts and feelings on the two lovely science nerds