Who would I have been without breaking my mother’s heart?
A god fearing, child bearing wife of a man who I don’t know. I would’ve held my heart to my husband and he still would have not seen who I am.
But in this world I didn’t break my mothers heart.. I tore my mother’s chest open and pulled out her organs. I’m in awe that she still loves me…
I’m sorry mother.
I couldn’t live without the woman I wake with in bed. She can only hear my breath and know what thoughts fill my head.
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If she feared nothing, why should she scream so loudly?
Anthony Trollope, from Phineas Redux
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Source of picture: https://la-inmaculada.tumblr.com
"Find out what makes you kinder, what opens you up and brings out the most loving, generous and unafraid version of you - and go after those things as if nothing else matters. Because, actually, nothing else does." George Saunders
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and i am not frightened of dying / any time will do, i don't mind / why should i be frightened of dying? / there's no reason for it, you've gotta go sometime
the great gig in the sky by pink floyd
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Men love everything but righteousness and fear everything but God.
Vance Havner
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Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.
Louise Glück, October
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Poem…July 28, 2022
“Never Stainless”
My neck sore from the stresses of creativity flowing (Panku)
Scratch that
My neck sore from from the stresses of creativity rattling around my brain
Where larvae lays eggs of inner visions
Some brilliant
Others that you want to let sink into the ocean with the bottom feeders
Who feed my vegan vices
With some kosher sea salt, pepper, heavy on the paprika (Panku)
Smothering the deep fried calamari
That resembles my overworked shy psyche
That sinks in spicy marinara sauce
When your careers become parallel
Your personal life can quickly steer off the track (Panku)
Into lanes that you know better to not dip your toes into
Yet, the boiling hot water controls your every move (Panku)
Learning how to balance life is an exhausting practice (Panku)
Your ideas leave coffee stains over the glass you desperately want to peer through (Septolet)
Where you can see your inner child asking for a timeout
How do I scrub off the work so I can play?
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Unafraid to love. Unafraid to be.
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She wasn't afraid; free spectators intended mischief, and the members of the troupe kept alert for each other; if the man threatened her, there would quickly be several workers and perhaps a mahout with his elephant on the spot.
"Incarnations of Immortality: Being a Green Mother" - Piers Anthony
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Hannah never was afraid to be undignified, to trash herself, to call a cunt a cunt.
Chris Kraus, from I Love Dick
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The blessings of sitting in our heartache, and actually working through it, are uncountable but so far im most grateful for the liberation of fear. It was like eye was granted a second chance at life to see the principle and not just the participants to better focus on myself and what makes me truly safe and happy. Eye Am intentional and unadulterated in my being and i will dance ferally along the thin line between deserved indulgence and madness until my pretty little feet bleed.
You've survived this long Mami, lose control a little, find yourself in the new and unapologetic and redefine what kind of woman you really are.
🖤🧠💪🏽
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Unafraid
There was a timeWhen I was not afraid of anyone or anythingThere was a timeWhen I did not care what anyone thought of me
Beatings from life have taught me to be careful in my actionsA little sensibility can go a long wayTowards gaining the trust of anotherLessons learned after an aggressive push to be the winner
Time is the best healerIf you manage to get enough of itIt is a good starting point…
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