#unsure of how many parts but probably no more than 4-5?

[murdockparker]

Roses and Regrets - Part 1

Anthony Bridgerton x Reader

Summary: Freshly out of mourning, Lady Barlow, née (Y/L/N), makes her re-debut in society. If only she could simply ignore a certain viscount...

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: none. enemies to lovers!!

A/N: I didn't expect this lil requested fic to turn into such an event, let alone a multi-part story! so, you're welcome or I'm sorry?

next part

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She was perfectly happy. 

Well, supposedly right now she wasn’t. 

Her husband, Lord Barlow, had passed away ten months ago, leaving her with an empty estate, a shiny title and more money than she knew what to do with. Lord Barlow was an old viscount, desperate for an heir and willing to do anything to get one. 

In came Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

Young, beautiful and well-bred, she was the perfect choice for any man of the ton. If only her father hadn’t a penchant for gambling. Perhaps she’d be married to a man more suited for her rather than the oaf of a dustbin she was forced to be with. She was no fool in believing in a love match for herself, rare and far between as they were, no, but she did have half a mind to imagine a kinder man as her husband. A man who perhaps cared even a little bit for her wellbeing. 

No matter. 

A dead man cannot care for her wellbeing either. 

“Lady Barlow,” a maid knocked, entering the ornate drawing room.

“Yes?” (Y/N) did not look up from her reading—the newest edition of Whistledown had just been delivered. While she herself was never one to gossip terribly, it was quite fun to keep up with the circus of the season. 

“Do you plan on attending the Danbury ball this eve?”

“I do not see the point,” she scoffed playfully, “after all, Meg, I am but a widow in mourning.”

“Perhaps her ladyship should reconsider?” Meg asked gently, placing a new pot of tea next to her lady. “I rather think it has been a socially acceptable amount of time since your husband’s passing.”

“If I am not to enjoy the perks of being a widow,” (Y/N) sighed, finally looking up at her favorite lady’s maid, “whatever is the point?”

“Perks that Viscount Barlow has graciously allowed you to use during your time of mourning—”

“The current viscount is all but twelve,” (Y/N) reminded. “He has no use for this estate in Mayfair until he himself becomes an adult, in which, I am sure he and his mother will come to make use of it. I believe if my maths are correct, that leaves me all of six years or so to use this home.”

“Forgive me my lady, but should you not be looking for a new husband, then?”

(Y/N) smiled at Meg. She enjoyed their friendship, her maid being only a handful of years older than herself, it made for a likely pair. “No one wishes to marry a widow,” she said simply, “widows are damaged goods. Every sensible man of the ton will be wanting a pretty little virgin instead.”

“My lady!”

“What?” She barked a laugh. “You know it to be true.”

“Regardless,” Meg said, clearing her throat. “Lord Barlow passed nearly a year ago, the period of mourning is rightfully over. You are expected to rejoin society.”

“Dreadful.”

“It is expected,” Meg repeated.

“It does not make it any less dreadful,” (Y/N) said. “Very well. Pull a dress and prepare a bath, it seems the ton gets to see my dreary face once again.”

—

Anthony Bridgerton was a man scorned. 

Particularly by his own mother in this very instance. How foolish he had been to share his intentions of marriage this season with her—for now she spread the news like a wildfire. Every desperate mama and her equally desperate daughter came flocking to him like bees to honey. 

It was only now, in the dark corner of the ballroom, that he found a respite.

“Looking a bit green, Lord Bridgerton,” a voice beside him called out. 

“I am not—” Anthony had huffed a reply before even knowing whom he was speaking to. “Lady Barlow.”

“I am shocked you can recall my name,” (Y/N) laughed over her champagne flute. “Considering how many new ones you’ve had thrown at you this eve.”

“You are out of mourning.”

“Is that a question?”

“It was an observation,” Anthony corrected.

“What gave it away? My bright dress? No tear stains left on my cheeks?”

“You are here, out and about,” Anthony said. “And, forgive me for not playing along with your delusions, but I do not think you cried much at all for Lord Barlow’s passing.”

“How dare you assume such a thing,” (Y/N) faux gasped. She had intended on pressing a hand to her chest. Intended, anyway. Somehow she forgot all about the champagne currently residing it her grasp. “Damn… this was a new dress too.”

“Good God,” he laughed. “First you are spilling all over yourself like a child and now you are cursing—tell me, do all married ladies act like you?”

“I am a widow,” (Y/N) had found a cloth and begun dabbing up the spill. It had only dribbled at most, but still, it was a new dress. “I rather think I can act the way I please.”

“Like a drunkard?”

“Like a free woman,” she said, fighting every childish urge to stick her tongue out at the viscount. “I am only here to show my face, prove I am still alive and I shall go about my merry way.”

“Lady Danbury is a widow,” Anthony noted. “Yet she still mingles with society.”

“I am not Lady Danbury.”

“You are not.”

“Do you not have young misses to go and woo?” (Y/N)’s eyes hardened. “Take your pick from the litter, Lord Bridgerton, any of them would be pleased to spend such valuable time with you.”

“Are you insinuating you are not?”

“I rather thought it was a statement, yes,” (Y/N) said.

Anthony’s eyes went only a fraction wider, nostrils flaring. “Well, if that is what you wish—”

“It is not a mean of wishing,” she laughed, “but really a necessity.”

“Good evening, Lady Barlow,” Anthony sneered, smoke practically coming out of his ears. If (Y/N) had half a mind she’d call for the authorities to put that fire out, instead, she simply finished her drink and smiled wistfully at the dancing ballroom, feeling fulfilled. 

—

Dearest Gentle Reader,

The season is in full swing thanks to the mark of Lady Agatha Danbury’s ball, a notable and traditional first event of the London scene. Eligible young ladies now on the Marriage Mart were enjoying their first taste at what fine society has to offer, however taxing or daunting it may be. 

Our resident Capital ‘R’ Rake, Viscount Anthony Bridgerton is finally deciding on a wife, surely making him the finest catch of the season. Matchmaking mamas and their young ladies alike were seen flocking to him like petulant children asking their parents for pin money, thanks to his own mother, Lady Bridgerton’s declaration of such an idea last night. The viscount seemingly had enough of the attention, taking like a wallflower and hiding away in the back of the ballroom near the end of the evening. 

His company? None other than Lady Barlow, evidently out of mourning as of last night. While the this Author is under good authority that the match between Lady Barlow and the late Lord Barlow was not a love match, given their fourty or fifty year age difference, it has taken the new dowager viscountess longer than most anticipated for her to get back into the season. A woman as young as Lady Barlow would be eager to find another husband to support her, but something tells me that she is quite enjoying her time as a widow and will not easily give that up. 

While this Author has very little idea of the actual nature of the relationship between Lord Bridgerton and Lady Barlow, it is only to be assumed that it is simply not a favorable one. The two were seen making a scene by the refreshment table, a scene that went unnoticed by many prying eyes of the ton, leaving Lord Bridgerton storming away and Lady Barlow with the winning hand. 

Good show, Lady Barlow. 

Lady Whistledown Society Papers

—

“Brother! You are in Whistledown!” Eloise sang to no one in particular. 

“I have no care that I am in that gossip rag,” Anthony ground out, rustling his newspaper. “I can only imagine it is just another advertisement of my search for a wife this season.”

“Er, yes, however—”

“However?” Anthony’s attention immediately shot up to his sister, newspaper be damned. 

“Who is Lady Barlow?” Eloise asked. 

“No one of importance,” Anthony could feel his temperature rising. 

“Lady Barlow?” Benedict laughed. “Is that who you were talking to last night dear Brother? Is she not still in mourning?”

“No.”

“No it is not who you were talking to, or no she is not still in mourning?” Benedict gave his brother an amusing glance.

“Oh, according to Whistledown—”

“Sister—”

“Eloise, you may not recall Lady Barlow, given you only just came out this season,” Benedict began, deciding that this conversation was very much worth his time this morning. “But she used to go by Miss (Y/L/N) before her marriage to the late viscount.”

“(Y/L/N)…” Eloise looked to the ceiling, finding nothing in particular. “Oh! Is she not the woman who—”

“I am taking my leave,” Anthony said abruptly, newspaper all but forgotten. 

“Escaping, Brother?” Benedict asked. 

“I have calls to make,” Anthony sneered, ignoring the pleased face his brother was making. “Excuse me.”

“It seems Lady Barlow is a touchy subject,” Eloise noted as her eldest brother left the drawing room. Benedict snorted. “What?”

“You do not even know the half of it, dear Sister.”

Anthony Bridgerton, did not in fact, have any calls to make. He had no impressionable interactions last night to warrant such a visit to anyone—the Queen was still in need of naming her diamond, after all—but he had no desire to stay and be berated by his family this morning. He truly had no plan, no thought in his head on where he was going, he just simply was. 

Apparently he was going to the park.

It was still early in the day, few people graced the park at such an hour. The few who did, however, were too busy reading the latest Whistledown to even notice him. Anthony saw a handful of post boys running opposite of his direction on his way here, it was only natural they scoped out this location. He knew it was going to be a problem the minute they finished reading—if Lady Whistledown truly wrote about him, which he had no reason to believe his sister was lying about, all eyes would be on him.

“Might as well enjoy the peace and quiet for now,” Anthony exhaled. He took a quick glance at his watch—half past eight. Hardly could he recall a time he took a turn about the park on his own, usually he was in the company of his family or holed away in his study worrying about expenses and the like, never did he take a moment to actually enjoy the grand weather such as the kind today. Determined to enjoy it, he sat down on a favorable bench and watched the birds swim across the pond.

“Unbelievable.”

He turned his head, only to find Lady Barlow dressed in a rather pleasantly pink dress and matching hat, a look of distaste on her face.

“I didn’t take you as the park-going type, Lord Bridgerton,” she nodded, folding her hands. She had been carrying a small red book in one of them. “Especially at such an early hour, too.”

“Lady Barlow,” he nearly sneered. “Can a man not enjoy the park?”

“Oh surely a man can,” (Y/N) agreed. “But you? You are no man.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“It seems to me that you’re sitting in my spot,” she ignored his quip, readjusting her stance in annoyance. “This is where I come to read.”

“Can you not read elsewhere?” Anthony asked. “There is an entire park at your disposal.”

“No,” she hummed. “Afraid not.”

“No?” He laughed. “Surely out of the entire park you can find a suitable spot to read your—let me guess—romantically inclined fodder?”

“Poetry,” she corrected, “and no, I cannot simply read elsewhere. The shade is just right under this tree and I rather like overlooking the pond between my chapters.”

“Shame I got here first, then,” Anthony clicked.

“You…!” (Y/N) scoffed, fighting every urge in her body to stomp her foot. “You are an impossible man, surely you know that?”

“I thought you said I was no man?” Anthony’s brow quirked. “Or perhaps I misheard?”

She scowled. “You are not amusing.”

“On the contrary,” Anthony leaned back on the bench, stretching his arms and taking his claim. “I find myself very amusing.”

A duck quacked from the pond, either laughing at the viscount or agreeing with him—it was hard to tell. 

“You leave me no choice,” (Y/N) said sternly, taking a seat on the other end of the bench—feeling worlds apart from the man on the far side. In actuality, it couldn’t have been more than two feet, three at most.

“Truly?” Anthony laughed humorlessly. “You cannot be serious.”

“Hush,” (Y/N) said, opening her book in earnest. “I am trying to read.”

While there had been no guns drawn, this was a duel, in every sense of the word. Both parties sitting still as statues, Anthony’s gaze trained on the pond, (Y/N)’s on her book. Occasionally, she’d flip her page to the next, huffing every time Anthony still did not get up and move on. 

Stubborn. Both of them.

“Will you be quiet?” Anthony said, growing exasperated. “I cannot think when you are breathing so loud—” 

“You wish for me not to breathe?” She shut her book. “I never anticipated you’d wish me dead—”

“Please,” Anthony said. “You know that is not what I mean at all.”

“I never know with you. You, Anthony Bridgerton, are an enigma and I hope I never have the pleasure of truly understanding you,” (Y/N) said, fingers whiting from her grip on her book.

“So you admit it would be pleasurable?”

She wanted to wipe that grin off of his face, how, she was unsure. Idly, she thought about how a good smack to his cheek would feel. Painful in the moment but oh-so wonderful after, cathartic, probably. “I am not getting up.”

“Neither am I.”

“I am willing to die on this bench,” (Y/N) spat.

“Funnily enough,” Anthony’s voice dropped, “so am I.”

“How are you to find your viscountess on this bench?” She asked, angling her body towards the torturous man. “Surely you do not expect her to just walk past?”

“I am sure I can manage,” Anthony said calmly. “Many young ladies will walk this way when they see me sitting here."

“Even with another woman sitting beside you?”

“I rather think they’ll find you easy to ignore, I know I do.”

“Ha! You are truly something else, Lord Bridgerton,” (Y/N) sat straighter. “Insulting a polite woman in public?”

“You are the furthest thing from polite,” Anthony leaned in. “Rude, ostentatious, quite full of herself—”

“Might I offer you a mirror?” The grip on her book tightened, cover bending from the force. “Or are you afraid you’ll see horns?”

“Oh, do they match yours?” He nearly sang. 

“Funny,” she clicked, finally setting her book down, lacing her fingers together in her lap. “You should run a comedy act at the circus, seeing as you are a right clown.”

Anthony stood up, whether by the force of his breath or sheer spite he will never know. “You are the most ridiculous woman I have ever met.”

(Y/N) met his height, now standing as well. “And you are the most irritating man I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing.”

“I am going to walk this way,” Anthony said, forcefully pointing to his right, eyes not leaving hers. She did have the most remarkable eyes.

“And I will walk this way,” she pointed to her left, less force in her action but seething all the same. “Have the day you deserve, Lord Bridgerton.”

“Why you little…!”

She had already turned and stomped away, a fuming smudge of pink against the greenery of the park, growing further away with every step.

“What a wretched woman,” he mumbled, looking down at his watch again—nine on-the-dot. In the corner of his eye, something bright red caught his attention. Her book. She had left it behind.

Perhaps he would burn it.

Perhaps he would just put it in his pocket and carry about his day.

In the pocket it went. For now.

#anthony bridgerton #bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton imagines #enemies to lovers #multi-part fic #reader insert #whoops i didn't expect this request to turn into a multiple part thing but here we are #unsure of how many parts but probably no more than 4-5? #idk

[mustangs-flames]

'Hail, True Body' AU Summary

So, here's an overview of my Mandela Catalogue AU called 'Hail, True Body'.

The alternate that killed and replaced Cesar Torres tries a little too hard to be human. It goes terribly.

Mark Heathcliff who should, by all accounts, be dead, discovers the awful truth about what happened to his best friend and takes up a path of vengeance and discovers some pretty awful truths about himself as well.

Being human is a terrible weight, but sometimes you find others to share the burden with.

The AU:

All Parts of Hail, True Body are posted in the order they should be read in to avoid any confusion or need to jump around. Some parts are multi-chapter fics whereas others are just oneshots. Here are links to the parts so far. A new part begins whenever the previous one comes to an end - this is once again to avoid confusion or a need to jump around (I feel that makes the story get too complex). Alongside the links, I have included the length of the part and an overview without too many spoilers.

Part 1: Its Name Was Cesar Torres.

Length: 6/6 chapters (the 7th chapter is just an art reference for Mark and Cesar).

Overview: Mark Heathcliff answers a call one September night in 1992 to find his best friend probably suffering from M.A.D., and Mrs. Torres dead on the kitchen floor. The creature that has replaced Cesar Torres formulates a plan to kill Mark with the most reward, but finds being human is a lot more complicated - and dangerous - than it initially thought.

Part 2: 10:15, Saturday Night.

Length: Oneshot.

Overview: Following the immediate aftermath of Part 1, Mark Heathcliff spirals into a crisis of faith unlike any he's experienced so far. Cesar Torres is dead, and in what kind of a world is that fair? Unsure of what to do or where to turn with the blood on his hands, he picks up the phone and asks for help from the one person who's been there since everything in his life started to go wrong.

Part 3: Old Rugged Cross.

Length: 5/5 chapters (this fic is Mark's backstory).

Overview: Mark Heathcliff has always been dogged by despair and the unusual, ever since he was a child. For him, it begins on October 15th 1978, when he makes his first imaginary friend, and it only gets worse from there.

Part 4: What's In A Name?

Length: Oneshot.

Overview: Some time after Part 1, the alternate formerly known as Cesar Torres wakes up in the nothingness it originally came from. Confused and unable to recall what happened, it clings to the one thing it can remember: a boy with sad brown eyes and a crucifix about his neck.

Part 5: The Good Samaritan

Length: 10/12 chapters (currently ongoing).

Overview: Mark Heathcliff decides revenge is the best way of moving forward. Thatcher Davis disagrees. Mandela County isn't safe and has never been safe, not for people like them who've seen more than they ever should have. On opposite ends of the divide, Thatcher tries his best to meet Mark halfway, before that kid can get himself killed.

Part 6: Eye For An Eye (upcoming)

Length: TBA

Overview: An alternate seeks revenge and longs for a time when things were simpler. It is broken. And it wants to be whole. No matter how it looks at it, there is but one common denominator: Mark Heathcliff. There is only one course of action - remove him from the equation. It will be whole again. It must.

Please make sure to read the content warnings in the author's note of each chapter for every part before reading!

If you want more info with links to character designs, music playlists, and insight into how angels and alternates work within this AU, here is the link to the masterpost!

Essentially, this AU focuses on all the respective characters of The Mandela Catalogue and how their stories all come together. At the moment though, Mark and alt!Cesar are the focus as that's where we're at with the current story arc. It handles the topic of what it means to be human, a bunch of 'what-ifs' (such as Dave being Mark's uncle), trauma and found family without compromising on any of the horror the original Mandela Catalogue series has. The AU will follow all the way up to 2009 and possibly a little beyond that.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask!

Thanks!

#hail true body au #the mandela catalogue #tmc au #mandela catalogue au #mandela catalogue #htb au #my work #my writing #please check it out if you think this sounds like something you'd enjoy

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Hello, Mr. Holmes! How are you?

So, long story short, I ended up with an optical microscope in my room more or less 4 months ago, with 200 previously made slides (secured in a proper box), and lots of new ones too, for me to prepare myself. I love microbiology (it's one of my hyperfixations, curse my neurodivergency) and now I love it even more (my mother has had to drag me away from the microscope - I named it Wesley - in the middle of the night multiple times now).

After much conversation, I finally convinced my mom to buy me the proper equipment to prepare the slides!

So, I'm sending this ask to you, as I know you also have a microscope and that you use it a lot: what kind of equipment do you recommend me buying (gloves, scalpel blades, tints, etc), while still remembering that all of the stuff needs to stay in my room (properly taken cared of by me, of course)?

For example, I'm unsure if different dyes are used for different smears and specimens due to it's affinity (I've noticed that on 'organic matter' slides, images are usually tinted purple or pink, while on plant-based slides, images are usually tinted green and blue, with a few red structures.) Considering that I don't have access to a mortuary, I will mostly make plant slides. There must be a difference in the dyes then, right?

Sorry for the long text! Hope this isn't too much of a bother.

- a 17-year-old :)

Congratulations on your new light microscope. I do hope you get the best out of it. I am overjoyed that someone else appreciates the art of microscopy and microbiology.

However, you need to be careful to not strain your eyes. It is recommended to take breaks every 15 minutes to close your eyes or focus on something in the distance to reaccommodate your eyes. And get up every 40 minutes, stretch and correct your posture. And it is recommended to not use a microscope more than 5 hours per day. John has to chase me away from my microscope sometimes to take a break when I sit there for hours, my posture like a Caridea.

Concerning equipment, you will obviously need a scalpel or other sharp blade to make very thin slices of your specimen, as thin as possible. And forceps to move your samples (best just get a whole dissection kit it has everything). Obviously slides and coverslips, pipettes for the stains or water, maybe some tubes. A pen to label your slides. In many staining procedures ethanol or acetone is also used. A waste jar to safely dispose of any chemicals, but be careful what you mix. A rack for staining and containers. I would recommend nitrile gloves, some people are sensitive to latex.

The dyes you use depend on the specimen. For example in histological slides of tissues hematoxylin and eosin are most commonly used (short HE-stain). That's what you most likely saw on your slides, it's blue, purple and pink. Hematoxylin is a basic compound extracted and oxidised from the logwood tree (Haematoxylum campechianum), and it stains acidic compounds in the cells (or basophilic because they have an affinity for basic substances). For example nucleic acids like DNA or RNA get stained by hematoxylin because they are basophillic. And where are lots of nucleic acids? In the nucleus and ribosomes, that is why they appear blue to purple in the staining because they bind hematoxylin. Eosin is an acidic compound, and stains basic or acidophilic compounds red or pinkish, like proteins, collagen, cytoplasm, extracellular matrix.

(Ductus epididymidis with HE-stain)

(Tongue HE-stain, pointer marking a ganglion; that is my picture)

Of course there are more specific stains for specific tissues like Golgi's silver staining for neurons.

For plants toluidine blue is often used, high affinity for acidic tissues, and can stain blue to green to purple. It is often combined with safranin, a basic azine, which is probably the red stain you saw. It stains polysaccharides and lignin, woody parts of the plant. Safranin and astrablue is also often combined, astrablue stains non-lignified parts of the plant.

(Ulex europaeus stem; not my pictures I don't have any samples currently, source Atlas of plant and animal histology)

Safranin is also used in bacteriology, in the famous Gram staining. In Gram staining you use crystal violet (blue/purple), Lugol's iodine solution, then wash it with ethanol and add safranin (red) as a counter stain. Bacteria is gram-positive if the crystal violet stays in their thick murein cell wall, can't be washed out with the ethanol and the bacteria stays blue. Gram-negative appear red because of the counterstain.

(Staphyloccocus aureus (violet, gram positive) & Escherichia coli (red, gram negative); not my picture, source Wikipedia)

However, I am not sure whether you have access to any of those substances, if they are too expensive for you or if they are too hazardous if used in your own room for a prolongued time. Of course those substances need to be stored properly, and your own room is probably not a good place, especially for ethanol or acetone. The fumes. I would recommend to ask your biology or chemistry teacher whether they can recommend anything further and where to buy said solutions in your area, and if they can't they are idiots. There are also many useful resources and tutorials on Youtube.

Another fascinating experiment for your microscope, that you can perform without buying any chemicals, is a hay infusion. You put hay into a container filled with water, and let it sit undisturbed for a week in a sunny area but not in direct harsh sunlight. During that time the microorganisms in the hay are reproducing in the solution, feeding on the polysaccharides of the hay. Protozoans also flourish in the hay infusion and eat the bacteria. It might get cloudy and a bit foul smelling (best not do it in your own room if you don't want to sleep next to a rotting smell). When you put a drop of the solution onto a slide and look at it in the microscope, you should see a variety of microorganisms like bacteria (like Bacillus subtilis), amoeba, ciliates, heliozoa, algae et cetera. At different depths of the liquid you should find different kinds of organisms, because of differing oxygen content. However, pathogens can also occur in the hay infusion so handle it carefully and work sterile, wash your hands properly.

And even if you don't work at a morgue you can still get tissue samples to experiment on, after all meat is sold in supermarkets, basically the same as a human body. And at the butchers they even sell organs like chicken hearts, pig kidney, liver, blood et cetera. Or observe your own hair under the microscope.

Which kind of samples and slides were included in your starter kit? Be careful to not leave them lying around in the sunlight, or the stain might fade. Always store them in the proper box.

#roleplay #rp #sherlock roleplay #sherlock rp #johnlock roleplay #johnlock rp #sherlock #bbc sherlock #sherlock holmes #sherlock holmes rp #sherlock holmes roleplay #science #scientist #research scientist #histology #microscope #microscopy #bacteria #bacteriology #pathology #anatomy #biology #chemistry #scientists #pictures #he stain #specimen #samples #slides #sherlock replies

[temptingfatetakingnames]

The Last Steve Harrington Part 12

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

The sky was red and Eddie was terrified.

He was doing his best on defense – his connection to the bats through Vecna allowed him to influence them – but there were just too many. If he had more time to practice he probably could have kept them back but as it was he was barely keeping up with the ones making it through their lines. He could fully influence only one at a time, so he had to wait until one got close to his friends before he could order it to fuck off. Which meant that everyone was suffering from various bites and tail marks but at least no one had been dragged away and strangled. It also meant he had to constantly whip his head around to keep his eyes on everyone. Nancy, Hopper, Joyce, and Johnathan were doing a good job shooting them down but he knew their ammunition could only last so long.

In the middle of it all, a child and a monster locked eyes, a battle raging between them that no one else could see. The strain of it was clear on their faces. Vecna – inhuman and snarling. Eleven – blood dripping from her nose and tiring. She was losing. Her hands shook as she held them out in front her, and a harsh gasp escaped her clenched teeth as she fell to one knee. Vecna approached her slowly, a grin stretching across his evil face. He thought it was over, he thought he had won.

Eddie turned, as if in slow motion, to see Steve suddenly break through the swarm and approach Vecna from behind. Quiet as a ninja. He swung that god damned nail bat at him like it was Excalibur, nothing but pure determination on his face. He must have known it wasn’t going to kill him, probably wouldn’t even hurt him but that wasn’t his goal. Vecna turned to strike at him, and it gave Eleven the opening she needed to get back on her feet.

Steve went flying and Eleven screamed with more rage than Eddie had ever heard from another person. Her eyes went black and the ground caved in around her feet. In that moment of distraction, with Vecna still turned away from her, she put everything she had left into an attack…and Vecna stumbled as Steve hit the ground with a sickening crunch.

Eleven threw her arms out wide and then brought her hands together in a resounding clap that echoed out around her. Everyone fell to their knees as the world went still and silent. Her eyes were still black when she opened them and walked to where Vecna lay on the ground. Tilting his head up to her, he said something that Eddie couldn’t hear. Eleven calmly pointed her finger at his forehead and Eddie watched in awe as he disintegrated before his eyes. Like a wave expanding around her, bats and Demogorgons fell to the ground before they disintegrated too.

Eddie clutched at his chest, a new fear gripping him that with Vecna gone his own tether to life would be cut. But the wave continued around him and he still breathed. Sunlight broke through the clouds, beaming down in patches as the red glow started to dissipate.

“Steve!” Dustin screamed and ran to where he was laying on the ground. He skidded to a stop, and Eddie could see the way his fingers shook as he gently turned Steve over. His chest was rising and falling, but the sound coming out of his throat was labored and wet. Eddie didn’t know much, but he knew that was a bad sound. Dustin pulled Steve’s head into his lap before his fingers moved over his chest, unsure.

“How do I look, Henderson?” Steve asked through the blood filling his mouth.

“You’re gunna be fine,” Dustin lied. Just like he had lied to Eddie. “But you have to get up, okay?”

“Kay,” Steve replied softly.

Dustin pushed his arm under his shoulders and tried to lift him. “Come on!”

Steve tried to help him but his strength gave out and he cried out in pain. Dustin laid him back down, hands fluttering uselessly over his ruined chest.

“Stop, please stop,” Steve said through gasping breaths.

Dustin looked down, tears in his eyes. Steve smiled up at him brightly.

“She got him, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, Steve. She got him.”

“Good… It’s alright, Dustin,” Steve choked out. “It’s alright. I love you...”

“I love you, too.”

Steve closed his eyes, tears slipping out between his lashes and his breathing grew even more labored… and then…

…it stopped.

“Steve?”

“Steve?”

“Steve!” Dustin screamed.

The sky was blue and the sun was warm and Steve Harrington was dead.

Eddie woke with the sound of Dustin’s scream still echoing in his ears. He hadn’t dreamed of that night in a long time. He sighed and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before he got out of bed. Wayne was already asleep for the day, so he was quiet as he moved through the trailer.

He blinked wearily at the coffee pot, surprised to see a fresh batch steaming on the counter. Wayne must have made it for him before he went to sleep. Good man. He poured himself a cup and took a sip as his eyes slowly adjusted to the light.

He hated mornings.

It was going to be a long day. It was boy’s night tonight which meant his home was going to be invaded by his little sheep.

And Steve.

Probably…

They were definitely going to try and get him to come. He was picking them all up at the Hopper-Byers’ after dinner. He figured there was a good chance of Steve agreeing. He had seemed better lately, more willing to try social encounters anyway.

Eddie thought about the look on his face at the junkyard when he had stopped laughing and started crying. Lost. Haunted. Grief so thick Eddie could feel it every time he was around him. He couldn’t imagine what he had gone through. Couldn’t imagine trying to live with the weight of it all. He was a stronger person than Eddie, that was for sure.

Steve Harrington.

Everything felt different with him back.

…but that wasn’t quite right, was it? Because he wasn’t back. The Steve that Eddie had known was still dead. Gone. Eddie had watched him die. This Steve was someone else, a stranger with a familiar face. He had fucked up with Steve in the hospital, he realized now. But he had been protecting Dustin, protecting them all – like his Steve would have wanted. A familiar face couldn’t be trusted just because it was familiar. Eddie absentmindedly fiddled with his necklace. He was glad he had apologized, but he didn’t regret his guardedness.

He wanted to ask Steve more about their history – or Steve’s and Eds’ history. But every goddamn time he was with Steve someone asked a stupid fucking question that made the man tense and freeze up or lash out with justified anger so Eddie just kept stewing in his curiosity. 

Steve was –

He didn’t know what Steve was.

Eddie sighed, set his mug down and went to change into his overalls. Those engines weren’t going to fix themselves.

---

Eddie was exhausted when he got home from work. The summer days were hot and his body was covered in a sheen of sweat. He stripped out of his clothes and turned the water on in the shower, leaving it on the cold side. Hopping in, he breathed a sigh of relief as the water hit his overheated skin. He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, enjoying the silence and feel of the water.

He didn’t hate the work, sometimes he actually enjoyed himself when something interesting came in. Most days sucked though. Endless oil changes and tire rotations and mindless work that didn’t challenge him. Better than working at the factory with Wayne, which had been his other option after graduating.

Sometimes, he still dreamed of leaving. Going to New York or Chicago. A big city with big ideas where someone like him didn’t have to hide as much.

Though, Hawkins wasn’t as bad as it used to be…

Now that he was out of high school his life felt like his own. He also had a much larger family than he ever could have expected to have. He and Wayne had open dinner invitations to so many houses they never had to cook again if they didn’t want to. Not that they took them up on it too often.

He finished washing, turned the water off and shook his hair out like a dog before he exited the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist and went into his bedroom to get dressed. After donning his usual black attire, he grabbed his book off the shelf and threw himself down on his bed. He had a little time to himself before he had to go pick up the kids. Opening the book to where he had left off, Eddie read:

“If wishes were fishes we’d all cast nets,” he murmured. It was his mother’s expression and he always used it when he felt the blackness of tomorrow on him. Then he thought what an odd expression that was to be taking to a planet that had never known seas or fishes…

When the room started to get dark from the setting sun, Eddie put his book away and grabbed his keys. Wayne was in the kitchen, sipping a cup of coffee when he walked out.

“Mornin,” Wayne said.

“Evenin,’ Eddie said back.  

Wayne grunted at their overused joke.

“I’ll be outta here in a bit so you can do your ‘boy’s night,’ thing.”

“Breakfast with Frank?”

Wayne grunted again. He didn’t like mornings any more than Eddie did. Didn’t matter that his morning’s started at 7:00pm instead of 7:00am.

“See ya later, Uncle Wayne.”

Wayne waved him off and Eddie left. He hopped into his van, rolled down the windows and turned up the stereo up until he couldn’t hear himself think.

When he turned the corner onto the Hopper-Byers’ street, he saw all the boys waiting on the lawn. Steve in the middle of them all.

He was laughing.

Eddie pulled up to the curb and slowly came to a stop. The boys rushed the van, piling into the back and leaving the front seat for Steve. It wasn’t the first time they had done it, and Eddie was surprised at how soft the little brats were with him, how considerate.

“Hey Eddie,” Steve said as he jumped in. He looked good. His skin wasn’t so pale and he was starting to put on weight. Looking more every day like the Steve Eddie had known and not the gaunt skeletal man they had pulled out of an apocalyptic nightmare.

“Steve.” Eddie nodded to him. Steve smiled but winced a little and blinked a few times quickly. Crap. He reached for the radio dial and turned it down to a more normal level. The kids were screaming at each other in the back and Eddie side-eyed Steve to see how he was doing with the noise. He wasn’t squinting anymore so it must have been a bit better.

“How was work?” he asked.

Eddie told him about his day as they made their way to the trailer park. When he pulled up, the kids rushed out of the backseat before he had even put the van in park. They ran to the door, pushing and shoving and Eddie laughed as Lucas made it through the door first. Lucas usually won. Surprisingly, Will also got to the chair first a lot when he tried for it. Lucas was stronger but Will was scrappy.

Steve asked about the ritual and Eddie explained Wayne’s chair as they made their way inside.

---

When the first movie was over, they took a little break to get more snacks and use the bathroom before starting the next one. The kids were moving around the trailer but him and Steve were sitting on the couch.

“What was your Eddie like anyway? Was he like me?” Eddie couldn’t help but finally ask. He shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth, embarrassed. He hoped that it wouldn’t make Steve uncomfortable or angry…

Eddie’s eyes widened as a grin spread across Steve’s face instead.

“Eds was great, really friendly and popular – more popular than I was! Captain of the baseball team, too.”

What.

The.

Fuck?

There was no universe where Eddie Munson would be captain of the goddamn baseball team. But Steve just sat there looking at him with that smile on his face and Eddie couldn’t help but think it was the horrifying truth.

“Were you not the captain of the baseball team?” he asked with a confused tilt to his head.

It made sense in some ways why Steve and Eds would be friends though, if he had been so different from Eddie.

“No!” Dustin screamed in indignation on his behalf and Steve burst into laughter.

“Got you!” the asshole said and wiped the tears of mirth from his eyes.

“What the hell, Steve?” Lucas yelled.

Steve just kept laughing maniacally. It was the happiest Eddie had ever seen him. And if it had to come at Eddie’s expense? Well, that was fine with him. Steve had a beautiful laugh, full and warm.

“Good one, Steve,” Eddie said and smiled at him just as wide. It was good to see him acting more like himself… or more like Steve?

Shit.

Multiverses were confusing.  

“I knew Eds a lot longer than I’ve known you but from what I’ve seen so far, you two are pretty similar.” Steve paused and speared Eddie with the intensity of his gaze. “Huge nerds with a rough exterior but damn big hearts.”

Eddie felt a blush rising to his cheeks at the heartfelt words so he pulled his hair in front of his face to hide it.

Steve got up and went to the bathroom. Dustin was staring at his back as he walked away, a smile hovering on his lips.

“Captain of the baseball team, my ass,” Eddie said to Dustin who laughed loudly.

“He seems better, doesn’t he?” Dustin asked and looked at Eddie, a hopeful tone in his voice.

Eddie wasn’t so sure about that. He thought Steve might always be one bad question or one bad day away from a complete breakdown. He knew he would be if their positions were reversed. But the joking and laughter was new and could be a sign that Steve was healing.

He nodded. “Yeah, he seems to be better.”

“I wish there was more we could do.”

“You’re doing fine,” Eddie said to him and then turned to the rest of the boys. “You’re all doing fine. Keep talking to him, inviting him to things. Don’t push if he says no. Maybe try not to yell so much in the van, yeah?”

They stared at him in confusion and he sighed. For smart kids they were pretty dumb sometimes. Eddie tapped his head and said, “he’s been hit in the head as many times as our Steve, so he probably gets the same migraines. I’ve noticed him wincing at loud noises.”

“Shit,” Lucas said, eyes wide. “I totally forgot about that.”

“Me too,” Dustin said, looking crestfallen.

Steve had died more than a year ago now. It made sense that they would start to forget things about him. The first time Steve got in his van, Eddie saw the tightening around his eyes and it immediately reminded him of their Steve – of the pain in his eyes that he tried to hide from everyone. He had eventually told them all about the migraines he got and the kids had got better at not screaming in enclosed places. But over time, they had stopped because there hadn’t been a need to be quiet anymore.

Will walked over and sat down beside Eddie and said, “he never tells us how he’s really feeling. When we ask, he always says ‘better,’ with a look on his face that makes us think he’s lying. Why won’t he talk to us?”

Eddie took a moment to think about what to say. After Vecna he had hated the question, ‘how are you?’ and he imagined Steve did too.

“It might not be a lie, Byers,” he said. “It’s just not the whole truth. His feelings are probably complicated and he doesn’t know how to talk about them. I didn’t know how to talk about mine after Vecna. Like I said, just keep doing what you’re doing. It’s going to take time.” 

Will nodded. “Thanks, Eddie.”

Dustin and Lucas came over and started settling down on the floor when Steve walked back into the room. He took the spot on the other side of Will. When everyone was ready, Eddie jumped up to change the tape. His foot caught on the edge of the carpet and he fell to the side, he grabbed onto the table trying to catch himself but ended up knocking the popcorn off and he still fell hard into the edge.  

“Jesus, rolled a ‘nat’ one on that dexterity check, Eddie,” Steve said.

Eddie’s eyes widened at the joke and he turned to look at Steve. The room was quiet as they all seemed to absorb what he said.

“What did you just say?” Dustin asked.

“It was a D&D joke,” Steve replied. “You do play D&D right?”

“Do we play D&D?” Dustin spluttered. “Of course we do! Do you!?”

“With Eds as a boyfriend and all of you gremlins as my friends you think I could get away with not playing? Not a chance.”

Eddie froze at the words, stunned. Steve said them so easily: With Eds as a boyfriend. They echoed in his ears. He still couldn’t quite believe he had heard them. The boys were freaking out but their voices faded into the background as Eddie’s mind spun.

Eds had been Steve’s boyfriend.  

Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington had been together in another universe.

He thought back to the hospital when he had first met Steve, when he called him Eds. There was an emotion in his eyes that Eddie hadn’t been able to name at the time. A desolation that he hadn’t understood…

“I play a half-orc half human barbarian named Chuggington, but his friends call him Chug.” A pause and then, “and yeah, me and Eds were dating.”

Eddie hadn’t heard the question, but Steve’s answer cut through the haze. Only a brief hesitation and he once again said words that would terrify Eddie to speak. Me and Eds were dating. He said it so casually – the sky is blue and the grass is green and me and Eds were dating.

And of course, he named his character fucking Chugginton. Chuggington! Classic Steve –

…But it wasn’t, was it? Eddie couldn’t reconcile it. A Steve who played D&D and dated boys wasn’t the Steve he had known. But then he went and named his character Chuggington? Well, that just screamed Steve.

And the thought wormed its way in before he could stop it – that if, just maybe, he had met Steve a little earlier – that it could have been them?

Nope.

He needed to leave. Go outside and collect himself. He stood up, feeling everyone looking at him. He didn’t say anything, just slipped outside. He could finally place the emotion in Steve’s eyes that day at the hospital…

Heartbreak.

Steve had looked at him like his goddamn heart was breaking.

He took a deep breath and sat down on the steps of his trailer. Reaching into his pocket he took out his cigarettes and lighter, his hand only shaking a little. The wind picked up suddenly and it took him a few tries to get the flame to catch on his cigarette. He took a puff and blew the smoke out into the air.

The door opened and closed behind him and Steve took a seat at his side. Because that was something they did now; follow each other onto porch steps to have deep conversations.

“You didn’t tell them?” he asked.

“I didn’t know,” Eddie replied.

Steve reached into the neckline of his shirt and pulled out the twin to the necklace sitting around his own neck. “This didn’t give it away?”

It dangled from Steve’s fingers and Eddie stared at it. Steve knew the story behind it. Eddie had lied when he said it wasn’t the same. It represented the first time Eddie had a family and a home. He should have put it together. Eds had given it to Steve, which meant Steve had been his family. It just hadn’t crossed his mind that they could have been dating. Close friends, he thought, was the only possibility.

“I knew he cared about you, but not how much. I guess I couldn’t wrap my head around a universe where Steve Harrington was with Eddie Munson.”

It was the truth and spoke to an insecurity that had haunted Eddie since high school. Being with someone like Steve wasn’t even a fantasy he had allowed himself. Perfect, popular, golden boy Steve dating outcast, satanist, Eddie the Freak? Not possible.

“There was at least one,” Steve said and smiled at him, his gaze soft. “Sorry if I made things weird.”

Eddie couldn’t fight back his sigh. “Things have been weird for a long time, Steve.”

Understatement of the goddamn century. Talking to a multiverse traveling Steve Harrington who had been dating him was the tip of the iceberg. Eddie had come back from the dead possessed by an evil overlord so his perspective might be a little skewed, though. Steve looked up at the sky and Eddie looked out at the trailer park, unsure where to go from here. He took another puff of his cigarette before holding it out to Steve. He didn’t notice, still looking up so Eddie cleared his throat. Steve looked down at the cigarette for a moment, a strange look on his face, before taking it.

Damn it, he had to ask.

“So…you’re? –” he couldn’t finish the question. Luckily, he didn’t have to.

“Bisexual,” Steve answered easily as he passed the cigarette back.

“Cool cool,” Eddie said and looked away to take a drag. Bisexual…. Made sense. It would be the perfect moment to tell Steve that he was queer too, that they had that in common. But the words got stuck in his throat. Wayne was the only person who knew. The thought of saying the words to Steve made his heart squeeze painfully in his chest. He wasn’t ready.

The moment passed and they traded the cigarette back and forth until there was nothing left of it.

When he reached down to pick up the ash tray on the bottom step he noticed Steve’s socks – and the handle of the steak knife that was sticking out of it.

“Why is there a steak knife in your sock?”

---

Eddie had drifted off during the second movie. The heat really sapped his energy in the summer and he hadn’t slept well the night before. A scream jerked him into wakefulness and he turned to look around. Dustin had stolen Wayne’s chair at some point and Mike and Lucas were lying on the floor. The couch beside him was empty. Will and Steve were in the kitchen, talking in low tones with their heads close together.

He couldn’t make out what they were talking about but Will looked like he was a second away from crying. Eddie was about to get up and see what was going on when Steve suddenly pulled Will into his arms. He thought his lips were saying, “it’s going to be okay,” but he couldn’t be sure.

Eddie felt his heart soften at the sight. He had noticed the way Will was around Mike and could guess what had prompted the conversation. It was good that he was talking to Steve. The other boys were all engrossed in the movie and missed the tears and hug. A good thing, Eddie thought, they would probably tease and make jokes about it. He turned back to the movie to give them a little more privacy.

It took Will and Steve a minute to gather themselves but they eventually came back over and settled on the couch.

“What’d we miss?” Steve asked quietly.

Dustin hushed him harshly.

Steve just smiled and rolled his eyes before looking over at Eddie.

“The doctors sedated her after she had an episode,” Eddie whispered. “They still don’t know what’s wrong.”

“She really messed up her back doing that stunt,” Dustin said.

“Hey, you can’t shush me and then bring up your little facts.”

“My facts enhance the movie watching experience! You were interrupting for no good reason.”

“Shh!” Lucas said nudging Dustin’s shoulder.

Eddie chuckled under his breath.

He managed to stay awake for the rest of the movie. When the credits rolled, he yawned and stood up, stretching out his tired muscles.

“I’m going to bed,” he said to the room. “You can watch another movie if you want but pull out the couch and make the bed now in case you fall asleep.”

He turned to Steve. “You good to sleep with me?” he asked and then grimaced. Why did he have to word it like that!?

Steve blinked a little in surprise. “Yeah, I’m good with that.”

“Coming now or staying up for another one?”

“Now, it was hard enough staying awake through the last one.”

Eddie left the boys to manage the pull-out couch and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and relieve himself. Steve went in after him, and Eddie headed into the living room to see how the boys were making out. The four of them were piled into the bed, Wayne’s chair abandoned. The third and final movie played on the television.

“Night,” Eddie said and turned back to his room, their chorused ‘good nights’ following him.

Steve was already tucked into his bed, against the wall, when Eddie went in. He was sitting up, his bare chest showing off his healing scars. He had filled out a little more since the lake, his ribs no longer sticking out in such stark definition but he still had a long way to go. He had Eddie’s book in his hands and was reading the back cover.

“I don’t think it’s something you’d like,” Eddie said.

Steve looked up and shrugged. “It might be. I’ve been reading a lot of fantasy lately. Dustin leant me a bunch of books.”

Eddie hummed. “I’ll give it to you when I’m done.”

Steve nodded and handed him the book. Eddie put it on the table before flicking off the light and turning on the fan. He crawled into bed. He was hyper-aware of Steve beside him. The solid warmth of his presence. He had been tired out in the other room, but adrenaline was coursing through him now. Questions he wanted to ask kept running through his head.

“I can hear you thinking,” Steve whispered.

“No, you can’t.”

A little chuckle from the darkness.

“I guess I just don’t understand you.”

“What do you mean?”

“How much you’re like the Steve that I knew and how much you’re different from him.”

“Oh, that! Welcome to my constant dilemma with all of you.”

“Fucking multiverses, right?”

“I had another Eleven come and see me. Skinny little thing with a big scar on her face, popped out of a portal right in front of me!”

“No way!” Eddie exclaimed. “What did she want? Did she try to steal you for her universe?”

Steve laughed. “No, she didn’t try and steal me,” he said and the paused. “She just wanted to know I was alright. She was happy to find me, must have been looking just as long as the Eleven here had been.”

“Wow…” Eddie said and then trailed off. “Do you think more will come?”

A deep breath and release of air from Steve.

“Yeah…I think so,” he replied.   

Eddie’s heart ached. They loved Steve so much. Eleven said she had visited thousands of different universes looking for him, had absolutely refused to give up. Which meant there were thousands of Eleven’s out there looking – another constant alongside Steve sacrificing himself.

Steve Harrington died.

And Eleven wouldn’t stop looking for him.

Eddie was grateful that he seemed to be adjusting, he didn’t know what would have happened if he kept insisting they take him back. Steve was stricken with grief, sad and angry most of the time but he was slowly starting to open up to them. Was slowly starting to tell them about himself and Eddie found that he was grateful for the chance to know him.

Part 13

@just-a-tiny-void @mx-jinxous @child-of-cthulhu @awholedamnmesstbh @phoenix0bird @queenie-ofthe-void @bookworm0690 @estrellami-1 @hbyrde36 @a-gae-af-racoon @nailbatandfreak @newtstabber @novelnovella @meela86 @lenathegay @vampireinthesun @penny00dreadful @questionablequeeries @espressopatronum454 @r0binscript @seths-rogens @fruity-nerd @sani-86 @n0-1-important @swimmingbirdrunningrock @ellietheasexylibrarian @manda-panda-monium @paintsplatteredandimperfect @viridianphtalo @goodolefashionedloverboi @13catastrophic-blues

-Sorry for the delay on this chapter! Life got a bit hectic. -I'm having a bit of a dilemma on some plot point I might want to include and I'm wondering if anyone out there would be cool with me bouncing ideas off them? You would have to be okay with me spoiling bits of the story but if you are at all interested shoot me a pm! -Happy Holidays and thanks for reading!

#steddie #stranger things #steve x eddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #multiverse #angst with a happy ending #slow burn #eddie pov #The last Steve Harrington

[steddieas-shegoes]

it led me to you

chapter 5: vecna also on AO3

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4

---------------------------------

When Steve woke up eight hours later, he was in pain, and he didn’t remember anything that happened the first time he woke up.

Wayne watched them as Eddie tried to ask him some basic questions and got no answers, and Eddie tried so hard not to be disappointed.

Steve asked about Robin, mentioned that she had been there when he got injured and probably could tell everyone what happened better than he could, refusing to answer any question about the injuries.

When Wayne asked the nurse if they knew anything more, they said that he’d been unable to tell them and no one else who was there was talking about anything except the actual fire.

Wayne was a relatively distrustful person, especially when it came to things like this, things that seemed much bigger than just a mall fire. He got even more suspicious when he saw a few people in suits arrive and go into a room down the hall later that first day.

He was quickly distracted by Robin showing back up, though.

She ran into the room, practically face planting into Steve’s bed as she grabbed his other hand, ignored his wince in pain, and started rambling.

“You absolute dingus! I cannot believe you tried to hide a severe concussion for so long that you blacked out! I asked you how many times if you were okay? And you said ‘oh, I’m fine! I feel great! I could fly a plane right now!”

“You said what?” Eddie snorted, trying his best not to let the fact that she was holding his best friend’s hand make him jealous. He failed.

“I don’t think I said that,” Steve said, though he seemed unsure.

“You did. You said ‘planes are big and I am, like, so good at driving, so I could probably drive it if someone got it off the ground and then put it back on the ground when I was done.’ Which is truly something a gorilla could do, Steve. Like, not to be rude, but you saying you can do the easiest part of flying an airplane is not as comforting as you think it is, and I have been stuck on that for almost 16 hours now. How is that supposed to be reassuring?” She continued, waving her unoccupied hand so much, she almost hit herself and then Wayne when he came up next to her. “And then I started thinking about how maybe you genuinely thought that flying the plane in the air is the hard part. Like being okay is relative isn’t it? To you, maybe you’re okay, but to me, you’re so far from okay. And I think I’m pretty far from okay, but I don’t look nearly as bad as you so maybe I am okay and just being ridiculous ya know? And-“

Wayne placed his hand on her shoulder, effectively stopping her from continuing.

She took in a deep breath, and let out a sob.

Steve let go of Eddie’s hand to try to pull her into a hug.

Eddie didn’t mind so much, at least not right now. Robin seemed to need it, and Steve seemed to need to provide it.

He could let go of his stupid jealousy for this.

He could.

He felt Wayne’s eyes on him, but ignored the way they burned into his profile, ignored the words he knew Wayne was silently saying to him.

“I’m gonna go grab some food. Anyone want anything?”

Everyone shook their head, but otherwise ignored Wayne’s question, and he ultimately seemed fine with that.

Eddie kind of figured he just wanted to be out of the room, didn’t want to feel the tension anymore.

Couldn’t blame him with the way Robin and Steve were whispering to each other, looking at each other like they were saying more with their eyes than their mouths.

Eddie sat back in his chair, closed his eyes, and somehow managed to drift into an unfit sleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

When he woke, he was alone with Steve, who was sitting in bed with his eyes closed, but he wasn’t asleep.

Eddie could tell because he just…knew every way that Steve held himself. He knew that when he was asleep, his mouth would often slip open just the tiniest bit, his hands curled into fists, holding whatever was closest in them (a sheet, Eddie’s shirt, sometimes his own shirt).

He was tense though, probably in a decent amount of pain still considering they’d slowly been taking him off the pain meds.

Eddie took in his injuries again, the way the swelling had started going down slightly, but the bruising hadn’t faded at all. He noted the way the bruising on his arms and neck and chest all seemed reminiscent of fingerprints, of someone holding him down, choking him.

Someone did this to him.

Fires don’t cause bruises.

People cause bruises.

He let him pretend for another minute, mentally filing away every scratch on his skin, every discoloration that meant someone had touched him to hurt him.

“Stevie? You need anything?”

Steve opened his eyes, groaning at the light.

“Will you hold my hand again?”

Eddie would jump out of the hospital window if Steve asked. Holding his hand was a small favor in comparison.

“Wanna tell me more about your dreams of being a pilot?” Eddie asked with a smirk.

“Oh my God, you two will never let this go, will you?” Steve rolled his eyes, but smiled.

“I’m just curious why you never mentioned it before. I’m sure we could look into you getting your license now that you’ve graduated.”

“I was just high when I said it, Eds,” Steve said, as if that made any sense.

He was at work, he shouldn’t have been high. He didn’t even like getting high, not even with Eddie, so why was he high at work with Robin?

“High?”

Steve suddenly looked like he regretted saying it, like he wasn’t supposed to tell him that and somehow letting it slip was a big deal.

He knew Eddie wasn’t judging him for being high, not even on the clock, so why was he suddenly acting like he shouldn’t have said it?

“What happened?” Eddie figured this was the best question to ask.

Even if he didn’t get all the details, he could maybe piece most of the night together, find out how he got beat to shit.

“It’s a long story. I don’t know what I’m allowed to say,” he started, still so hesitant, still acting like he had to hide.

“Allowed?”

“Yeah.”

“Who wouldn’t allow you?”

“I dunno. Dustin just told me not to say anything yet.”

Eddie was even more confused now.

“Dustin? Was Dustin at the mall when the fire happened?”

“Um.”

“Steve, why the hell was Dustin there?”

Eddie felt his brain trying to piece things together without even knowing half of the story. Dustin was a child. He shouldn’t have even been at the mall that late to begin with, let alone anywhere near whatever happened to Steve.

He hadn’t met Dustin yet, but he felt this overwhelming urge to protect him just based off of how much Steve loved him.

“He was visiting me at work when everything started.”

“Everything being…?”

“Eds, I-“

“Alright, Steve! Looks like you’re going home today, so let’s go ahead and do one last check on everything!”

The nurse walking in the room caused them both to jump, Eddie realizing almost too late how close he had gotten to Steve.

It wouldn’t look very good for someone who wasn’t Wayne to walk in on that.

Thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice, too busy focusing on the clipboard in front of her as she spoke.

“Your injuries are all surface wounds so they’ll just need to be maintained with regular cleaning and wrapping on the worse ones. Your eye may still need a cold compress occasionally while the swelling continues to go down. I’d recommend every four to six hours if you can. Do you have someone to help you for the next 24-48 hours?”

She finally looked up, seemingly noticing that Eddie was there for the first time.

“Oh! Hello! My apologies, I’ve been so busy tonight, my head is all over the place. Steve, is it okay to discuss things with him here?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna be staying with him and his uncle while I get better.”

“Great! They’ll bring some more instructions in a couple hours, but for now, do you have any concerns before you go?”

Eddie had a lot of fucking concerns. Like, more concerns than he had even just ten minutes ago.

But he couldn’t ask the nurse about these concerns.

No, Steve was the only one who could properly answer these questions, and he intended on making sure he got the answers he needed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

He lasted less than 12 hours before he was begging for answers.

Wayne showed up shortly after the nurse did, helped Steve sit up and walk around a bit, get ready for the doctor to release him.

They made it home only a couple hours later, Eddie setting Steve up in his bed while Wayne grabbed them some pizza in town.

It was the perfect opportunity to get some answers, but Steve finally looked like he was comfortable, relaxed. Eddie couldn’t interrupt that by asking him to relive whatever trauma happened the night before.

When Wayne got home, Steve was asleep.

Eddie sat with Wayne at the table, taking a slice and silently chewing as he thought through the events of the night and day so far.

“You call Robin?”

Eddie shook his head. He hadn’t thought to, even though her number was written on a piece of paper in his pocket.

He’d barely thought about much other than piecing together what happened to Steve.

But Robin probably knew.

“I’m gonna do that now!” He was maybe too excited, and Wayne’s eye roll told him that he probably realized he was calling for more selfish reasons than to let her know that Steve was home and mostly okay.

He knew Wayne would hear the entire conversation, but he didn’t really care. He just needed to understand what was happening with Steve.

Robin answered on the second ring.

“Is this a Munson? It better be.”

“No, this is Mrs. Hampton from the laundromat calling to remind you to pick up your delicates,” Eddie said in a high-pitched voice that sounded nothing like Mrs. Hampton.

“Well, either you’re preparing me for bad news with a sad attempt at humor or Steve’s fine,” she said, voice still laced with worry.

“Yeah, he’s alright. I mean, as alright as someone who looks like they’ve been put in the middle of a pro wrestling ring with no experience can. Wanna tell me more about that?”

“I don’t know if I can.”

He tried not to be mad, or jealous, or any other emotion that would be embarrassing later.

There was a reason for the secrecy, and as frustrating as it was for him, he knew they would be more honest about it if they could be.

“I’m Steve’s best friend. I promise I won’t say anything.”

“I just…I’m new to this. I don’t-“

“New to what?”

What the hell did that even mean? New to what? Robin had lived in Hawkins her whole life as far as Eddie knew. She wasn’t exactly new to working a job, having been a babysitter since she was 13 and working at the grocery store every summer since she was 14. She wasn’t new to Steve, or at least not that new: they’d been working together all summer.

“The weird stuff.”

“Weird what?”

But Eddie thought about what Steve said about Dustin and his friends. Thought about how they seemed too mature for their age in some ways, and not in others. How government officials in suits showed up when something weird happened, barely gave any explanation, and left again.

“I just think you should ask Steve. He’ll tell you,” she sighed.

“He might not want to.”

“He will if you ask. He’d tell you anything. He lo-“ Robin cleared her throat. “I should probably go in case my parents call. They found out about everything this morning and have been calling every hour to check in.”

“Tell her she’s welcome over anytime!” Wayne said from the table.

“You can come over anytime. But Steve’s asleep right now so maybe wait a few hours.”

“Yeah, thanks. Probably can’t until my parents get back and actually see with their own eyes that I’m not speaking to them as a ghost on the phone.” Robin laughed. “You know my mom genuinely asked me if I was someone pretending to be me. As if someone would admit that!”

“Wait, are you impersonating Robin?”

He was met with silence.

“Oh my god, you deserve each other. Goodbye, Edward.”

She hung up before he could ask what the hell that meant.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

When Steve woke up, he was in pain, but it was manageable.

Eddie took advantage of his still-relaxed mind to start asking questions.

“So you were just working like normal and then the place blew up?”

“Not…exactly,” Steve said as he took some pain meds and chugged some water.

“What happened?”

“Um.”

“Stevie, please. You can’t even open one of your eyes. You’ve got bruises on your neck! Your skin is rubbed raw on your wrists like someone had you tied up. I don’t know what happened, but I know it wasn’t just an explosion. Please,” Eddie begged, tears filling his eyes despite his best effort not to cry.

“Eds,” Steve started, reaching his hand out to comfort, but Eddie stood up. He folded his hands in his lap, trying to cover up the marks Eddie was talking about. “I want to tell you, I just-“

“Then tell me! It doesn’t have to leave this room, I won’t even tell Wayne! I just need to know what happened to you, I need to know how to help you. Please.”

Eddie knew what his face was doing, what his eyes were saying.

He knew it wasn’t fair to put that on Steve right now, or ever, but he couldn’t pretend that this didn’t bother him.

He couldn’t pretend that he believed the mall just exploded.

“Alright. Okay. Just. Just sit down.”

Steve’s voice was trembling, his hands were trembling, his entire body was trembling.

“No one can know any of this. I’m not supposed to know any of it, but I was forced into knowing. It’s dangerous to know, and I don’t think it’s fair to put it on you, but if you’re insisting then-“

“Steve.”

“Okay! Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Hawkins Lab wasn’t just a regular lab; they were doing human experiments. This girl, El, she has like, superpowers. And I guess a lot of the weird stuff that happens around here can be traced back to them and their experiments. There’s a whole alternate dimension, Dustin called it the Upside Down, and there’s-“

“Wait. Sorry. Dustin?”

“Oh! Yes, Dustin. He’s apparently been involved with this stuff since Will, you know Will? Since he went missing. Which I guess when he was missing, he was stuck in the Upside Down, and like, almost got eaten by all these weird creatures that they named after D&D things? None of them fit though, and I told them that, but they kept saying it’s just what worked and-“

“Stevie. Please.”

Steve kept getting distracted, which was normal for him when he was rambling about things, but Eddie’s patience was thin right now.

"Right. So last night. I guess it started yesterday though. Dustin came to see me at work and said he needed help with something and I assumed it was something from camp maybe? I dunno, but then Robin got involved because she knows Russian and I guess under the mall there’s tunnels to a secret Russian bunker, which is crazy, right? Feels like I made that up, but I didn’t because Robin was there and then Dustin and Erica. And I had to protect them all because they could have died or gotten hurt and I kept telling the Russians that like, Robin and I just scoop ice cream! We don’t know anything! They didn’t believe me, and then Robin kept trying to get them to stop hurting me, and they almost killed me I think, but Dustin managed to get us out. Some other stuff happened that I don’t really know the details for because I was unconscious, but it wasn’t good. Billy, you remember him? He died. I was awake long enough to hear Lucas trying to calm Max down about it. And then I woke up in the hospital and I started to remember some of the stuff they did to me and I don’t really want to.”

Eddie was finding it hard to keep up, hard to breathe, hard to remember that Steve was okay.

He made it out.

This sounded like something out of a conspiracy book, and maybe if Eddie didn’t know Steve so well, he would assume he was making it all up, but he knew he wasn’t.

He couldn’t.

He wouldn’t.

“You were tortured by Russians under the mall.”

It wasn’t a question, but Steve nodded like he was answering it anyway.

“What the fuck.”

“They also gave me some kind of drugs, Robin too, but I think they messed up my dose because it lasted longer for me. I think it was like a truth serum, but I dunno. I don’t remember a lot still,” Steve sighed.

A truth serum.

He was probably still on it in the hospital. Which meant maybe-

“I’m supposed to let Dustin know when I’m awake so he can visit. He apparently called the hospital about 100 times to talk to me, but couldn’t. Can I call him?”

“Yeah, ‘course. You don’t have to ask permission, Stevie.”

Eddie felt like he was on the outside looking in, like he couldn’t quite grasp everything Steve was saying. He’d missed a connection somewhere maybe, or maybe there was no connection to miss and it was just this fucking weird.

He helped Steve stand and get to the phone, and then left him to talk to Dustin.

Maybe things would get clearer soon.

- - - - - - - - - -

Things did not get clearer soon, or at all.

The rest of the summer was a blur of Steve getting better, Robin becoming a fixture at the trailer, Dustin inviting himself over to hang out with both of them, and Steve and Robin trying to find a new job.

Apparently, they were trauma bonded or something and couldn’t work separately.

Eddie thought about trying to find a part time job that would work when he was back in school, but Wayne shut it down.

“Just need you to focus on graduating. You’ll have plenty of time to work yourself to the bone when you’re done in school.”

Eddie knew there was no point in arguing, so he didn’t.

But he did get lonely.

Steve and Robin managed to find jobs at Family Video about two weeks into the school year.

Robin could only work closing shifts on Fridays and whatever was available on the weekends, but Steve worked all the time.

All the time.

Eddie focused in school this time. He had to. He couldn’t do this again.

And it was working mostly. He was definitely passing everything, and Hellfire was great with the addition of Dustin and his crew, even though they were certainly an odd bunch.

Dustin knew that he knew, but the rest of them didn’t, and they both preferred it that way.

The less Eddie had to be involved in whatever the hell was happening in this town, the better.

Life moved on, slowly.

Until Eddie broke a promise.

- - - - - - - - -

He was going to graduate.

He made it to the pre-spring break deadline with all passing grades. As long as he didn’t fail any tests, he was walking that stage.

Finally.

It helped that Steve had Nancy meet with him every Monday afternoon to schedule out his assignments for the week and help with anything he didn’t understand.

It helped a lot.

But Wayne was working so much, and Steve was working so much, and Robin really only hung out with him if Steve was around, and he definitely didn’t wanna hang out with the kids outside of Hellfire.

He just needed a purpose.

And if Chrissy Cunningham needed some relief from whatever stress she was facing in the form of the leftover drugs he had in his trailer, then he could find a small purpose there.

He wasn’t even gonna sell them to her; her stress was almost a physical presence when she met up with him in the woods after school. She clearly needed something that she couldn’t find anywhere else.

He recognized the way she held herself, the way she was silently begging for anything to help.

He drove her to the trailer after Hellfire that night, after her cheer practice and extra coaching.

She was quiet, kept looking out the window or behind her like she was worried they were being followed.

“Um, should I be worried about something? Is someone following us?” He finally asked, his own anxiety spiking.

“Huh? No. Sorry, just, it’s late and I usually don’t lie to my mom about where I am,” she said.

Eddie believed her, knew she was a great student, great person, probably a great daughter. The opposite of Eddie in just about every way as far as he could tell, and yet here she was begging for illegal substances.

He wasn’t judging, definitely wouldn’t pretend to know what she had going on that was so bad she needed to get high to feel better.

But he was curious, extremely so.

“Is there anything you wanna talk about? Maybe talking would help a little?”

“I talk to the guidance counselor at school. It doesn’t help. Thanks though. That’s really sweet of you to offer,” Chrissy said, turning to give him a sweet, but fake, smile.

“Yeah, anytime. Seriously, I know we don’t know each other well, but. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret just because you’re stressed.”

They settled into silence, Eddie kind of hoping she would change her mind and he could just drive her home.

He did not have a good feeling about this.

Steve was closing tonight and opening tomorrow, so he was staying at his house for the first time in a while, mostly because it was closer to Family Video, but also because he had to have his own space sometimes.

That’s what Wayne said, anyway.

Wayne was working. Wayne was always working. Doing his best to pay bills, picking up the extra hours as much as he could physically handle so that he had some savings “just in case.”

“Are your parents home?” Chrissy suddenly asked as they pulled into the trailer park.

“Oh. Uh, no. I don’t live with my parents. I live with my uncle. He’s at work though.”

“Oh.”

“I can just run in if you’re not comfortable-“

“No! I-no. I can come in,” she rushed out, already unbuckling her seatbelt before he even put the van in park.

He should have called it.

He should have read her energy, the nervousness in the way she was trying to rush and also take her time and said that he had to take her home.

Maybe he could say he lost the drugs.

Or that they went bad.

She wouldn’t know.

But he didn’t do any of that.

He brought her into the trailer, told her to wait by the couch.

He scurried to his room, sorting through his drawers where he usually kept his personal stash, hoping it was there.

His next best bet was the bathroom under the sink, but he remembered as he was rummaging that Wayne made him clean it all out a few months back to make room for new towels and Steve’s hair things.

The closet in the hall definitely didn’t have anything except everything that didn’t fit in the rest of the house and cobwebs.

“Everything alright?” Chrissy called to him as he went back into his room to think about where it could be.

“Yep! Just checking for something!” He called back. “Shit, shit, shit,” he said under his breath. “What am I doing?”

He heard a yelp from the other room and stood up.

“Chrissy? You okay?”

The trailer was small, and while it wasn’t messy, it was a bit cluttered just because they didn’t have space for everything. People who weren’t familiar with the layout and organization could easily bump into something.

There was no answer.

He ran out of his room, freezing for a moment when he saw the way Chrissy was staring off into space.

She looked like she was already high, but that was impossible. He hadn’t found any of his stash and it takes way longer for any of what he has to kick in.

He also doesn’t think she would have taken anything without checking with him first, she seemed too nervous to take such a serious risk.

“Chrissy?” He asked again, voice wobbling.

She didn’t answer, her eyes glazing over, turning a milky white.

He didn’t understand. Was she prone to seizures? What did it look like when someone had an aneurysm? Shit, was there even anything he could do other than call 911 for that? Then everyone would know she was here, and they’d assume it was for drugs or for him to take advantage of her, and he couldn’t just say he was gay, that would probably be worse.

She started rising off the floor, floating. It looked like someone was pulling her up on an invisible string.

“That’s not an aneurysm,” Eddie said to himself, eyes widening.

Despite his inner voice telling him to just fucking run, he closed the distance between them and started tugging on her legs to get her back down.

But it was impossible, she wasn’t even moving as he used all of his strength to bring her back down.

“This is some bullshit! If there’s any damn Russians or demodogs or what the hell else, now’s your chance I guess!” He was already out of breath trying to pull her down as he yelled.

The front door opened with a bang, and the thought ran through his mind that he was an idiot for asking for something else to happen.

His neighbor and one of Steve’s kids, Max, was suddenly next to him, radio in hand, saying something he couldn’t focus on as she also tried to help him tug Chrissy down.

“How long has she been like this?” Max asked.

“I dunno! In the air for maybe 15 seconds, but before that she was zoned out for maybe a minute. Do you know what’s going on? Please tell me you do, Red.”

“Does Eddie know her favorite song?” Dustin’s voice rang out. “Over.”

“I barely know her at all!”

“Why is she in your house then?” Max said with a brow raised, as if this was somehow more important than the fact that she was floating in the air.

“Take a guess! She needs music!” Dustin said when no one answered him.

Eddie stopped trying to pull her down, knew he wouldn’t be successful, and ran to his room to find something in his stack of tapes that Chrissy Cunningham would like.

And then it hit him.

Steve.

Steve listened to everything.

He probably had something in his stack on the other side of the room.

Eddie didn’t know what Chrissy would like, but made some assumptions and hoped that maybe stereotypes would be right just this one time.

He shoved the first Blondie tape he found in his boombox (which he would definitely be making fun of Steve for when there wasn’t a girl floating in his living room), turning the volume all the way up.

It was much too loud, and the neighbors would absolutely complain, but he just needed it to work. He’d deal with everything else later.

He ran back out of the room and saw Chrissy’s body flinching, her eyes starting to lose the milky whiteness, and he sighed with relief.

“Is it working?” Dustin’s crackling voice came through.

“Yes!” Max answered before turning to Eddie. “Be ready to catch her.”

“What?” He asked before her words caught up to him and he was scrambling to try to break Chrissy’s fall as her body fell from the ceiling.

She was nearly hyperventilating, tears falling from her eyes, and Max was in front of her in a heartbeat, checking her over for injuries.

“How long have you been having them?” Max asked.

“Having what?” Eddie asked, confusion only building further.

“I guess a week or so. But they got really bad yesterday and I couldn’t sleep and now I think I’m just sleep deprived,” she said quietly, voice shaking.

“Mine started yesterday. We’re gonna help you, okay?”

“Would someone like to fill me in on what the fuck just happened?” Eddie felt like he was losing his mind.

They were acting like this wasn’t a big deal, or at least that they could just brush it off.

“Yes, but do you have a walkman she can use for tonight? I only have mine and I need it so I don’t end up floating, too.”

He got his walkman from the bedroom, tuning out the voices of Chrissy and Max whispering to each other.

“You can drive us to Steve’s house, right?”

“Steve’s at work for another hour.”

“Yeah, and he told us all to meet there, so…”

Max stared at him, waving her arm impatiently.

“Okay, sure. Steve’s house. This is a totally normal thing and totally normal outcome to this evening.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

“You’re kidding me.”

Eddie stared in disbelief at the kids surrounding the table, at Robin and Steve who were still in their work uniforms.

They all stared back at him, not exactly calm, but as if this wasn’t the craziest thing that’s happened.

And from what he knew of Hawkins from this group, maybe that was true.

“And you named him Vecna.”

Everyone still just stared back at him, making sure he processed everything.

“You know, I don’t like how calm you all are about this. Two of you are basically possessed and could die whenever this Vecna guy feels like it, and you’re just casually talking about how to burn his body and mind,” he said, his volume rising as he spoke.

“Eds, it’s just. Kind of par for the course at this point for them, and I guess this isn’t really that bad in comparison to the Russians and everything,” Steve said as he came up to him, smiling sadly and touching his arm.

Eddie ignored the sparks shooting between them, ignored it because if he didn’t, he would lean in and kiss Steve in front of all of these people, and they didn’t have time for it.

Especially not with how carried away Eddie knew he wanted to get.

“You guys are super chill about an evil wizard man getting inside your minds and killing you.”

Chrissy and Max were sitting on the couch with headphones over their ears, listening to the songs that saved them.

“So, we have to go to the Creel house?” he finally asked, realizing he was just gonna have to get on board.

“Some of us will have to do it here, while the rest of us do it in the Upside Down version,” Lucas said, sighing. “Splitting up always ends bad for us, but I don’t think we have a choice here.”

“No, but we can split the adults up with the kids so that it’s safer,” Robin suggested.

“Okay, Eddie and me will go down there with Dustin and Max. Chrissy and Lucas will go with you and Nancy here,” Steve said.

“I wanna stay with Max,” Lucas argued.

“I need you to stay with the girls, though,” Steve replied.

“You mean Nancy, who has a better shot that Hopper? And Chrissy, who beat half the basketball team in an arm wrestling competition earlier this year? And…Robin?”

Robin smacked his arm, but nodded.

“He’s right, we don’t really need him. He can keep an eye on Max while the rest of you focus on Vecna down there,” Robin supported him.

“Fine, but that means he’s our communicator. He has to be the middle man between the groups in an emergency,” Steve added.

They all agreed, and Eddie watched as they all started preparing.

The kids were professionals at this point, and Steve and Robin hadn’t had quite the same preparation, but enough to know what was waiting for them.

Eddie and Chrissy were new to this, new to this whole other world that caused more mayhem than Hawkins, Indiana deserved.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It wasn’t the best plan, but it was their best shot, and that had to be enough.

It started fine; Steve and Eddie leading Dustin, Max, and Lucas into the Upside Down.

It even seemed to go okay when they got to the Creel house.

Nothing major happened, and they were able to find a way to communicate with the crew on the other side.

But as anyone who has ever tried to plan something knows, plans go to shit quick.

Vecna’s physical body being in regular old Hawkins was supposed to make things easier, but they forgot to take into account the fact that he was in Max’s mind, he was in Chrissy’s mind.

They thought he could only see where they were and what they were doing during possessions, but that was clearly wrong.

He knew they were coming.

He prepared everywhere.

And they couldn’t fight preparation like that.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was a blur of just trying to survive.

Vecna sent demobats after the crew in the Upside Down, huge creatures that were all easily the size of Dustin or bigger, all hungry.

They had to run from the Creel house, most of the roof destroyed as the crew in Hawkins continued their attempts at destroying Vecna in any way they could.

Outrunning the bats wasn’t going to work, they all knew it.

But they didn’t have many options down here.

Steve led them into the forest down the road, managed to find a large area of fallen trees that made a sad excuse of a cave.

It was enough, though, for now.

Enough to keep the bats away and to keep themselves out of view from any other creatures that may be lurking around.

“This isn’t going well,” Eddie said, breathless from the run. He was a bit out of shape, and even short distances were hard, as his gym teacher could attest to.

“Could be going better,” Lucas nodded, not quite as out of breath, but definitely sweating from the effort it took to run half a mile, half supporting Max.

Max, who had started to be possessed again while in the house, was still shaken up, nursing a broken arm and blurry vision.

Dustin was mumbling to himself, and to Steve, but Steve was just watching outside their makeshift shelter, probably making sure nothing followed them too closely.

He was sweaty, dirty from falling on his way into the shelter, and had scratches covering most of his arms and neck from where he’d had to pull Max out of the attic in the Creel house as it started to collapse.

“We have to get back,” he finally said, looking back at Eddie with wide eyes.

No one else would see it, but Eddie did. He saw the fear in his eyes, the trembling of his hands as they settled on his own knees, trying to gain the courage he needed to be a leader for them.

Eddie loved him.

And suddenly he didn’t know why he waited years to tell him.

He didn’t know why he was so worried about his reaction, or why he thought Steve would treat him differently.

Because even if Steve didn’t feel the same, even if he didn’t love Eddie the way Eddie had loved him for years, he would never treat Eddie as anything less than his best friend.

And now, with the fear of something else going wrong in the back of his mind, he felt like he needed to tell him.

He needed to tell him right now, regardless of who else was around.

“Steve, I-“

A screeching sound filled their ears, filled the shelter, the woods around them.

It was loud enough for all of them to immediately cover their ears, looking at each other in a panic.

“What the hell was that?” Dustin asked.

“You’d know better than any of the rest of us, dude,” Steve answered.

Then there was silence.

Eerie silence.

They could count each others’ heartbeats in this silence.

Eddie felt the unease grow.

It went from chaos to silence too quickly; something had to be wrong.

Even more wrong than what it had been before.

“I’m going to check.”

“What?” Eddie grabbed Steve’s arm before he could go. “You can’t go alone, Stevie. Let’s wait another minute first. It could be a trap.”

“We have to get out of here, Eds. I’m just gonna peek first, then do a walk around.”

Eddie knew the kids were about to argue, but he also knew that Steve’s top priority right now was keeping them all safe, and sitting here waiting for something to happen was just going to increase their chances of someone ending up hurt or worse.

He knew no matter what they said, Steve was going to do what it took to protect them.

He’d lost his bat somewhere during Max’s rescue, and they didn’t have time to try to find it, so he was weaponless.

Eddie tried to hand over what was left of his shield, hoped it would be enough to at least be a comfort to all of them, but he refused it.

Steve looked out of the shelter, slowly, carefully.

He gave them a thumbs up before slowly stepping out, being careful not to slip on the dead leaves that were covering the ground of the entrance.

His footsteps were light as he walked away.

A minute felt like an hour.

Two minutes felt like a lifetime.

“He’s taking a long time,” Lucas whispered, scared to break the silence.

“I’m gonna go check,” Eddie said, sick of waiting.

“Wait! You can’t leave us. We should just all go,” Dustin said as he slowly moved closer to the entrance.

“Steve would kill me if I let you all come with me before checking on him.”

“And what if something got to him and it gets you too? Then what?”

“Then we’re all dead anyway.”

That was a harrowing thought, but a true one.

If something managed to get Steve without making a sound, it could easily get all of them, one at a time, or maybe even in a group if it was big enough.

“Alright, fine,” Eddie touched Max’s shoulder. “Dustin behind me, Max behind him, Lucas behind her. We get out, then we form more of a circle around Max since she’s injured. Steve couldn’t have gone too far, shouldn’t have, so it won’t take long to get to him and then get the hell out of here.”

“What if something comes?”

“Then we skip everything except the running the hell out of here part.”

Max snorted, and Eddie couldn’t help smiling a bit.

Any light in this shitstorm was welcome at this point.

Just as Eddie stepped out, he heard another terrible screech, not as loud as the one before, but closer.

He looked at the kids, looked out the door, and ran.

The kids were following, their plan gone to shit. Again.

As much as Eddie wanted to yell for Steve, he knew it would just draw attention to them and he had to keep the kids safe.

They had to get home.

He looked around; They weren’t far from the gate.

He could send the kids through, could try to find Steve while they got more help, more weapons.

Maybe some fucking water so he could rinse his mouth out from the dust in the air.

And then he saw it.

He didn’t think, he just ran, distance and exhaustion barely a problem.

Steve’s legs stuck out from behind a tree, pants visibly torn, even from a distance, even in the dark.

He hoped the kids were watching out for themselves, because all he could think right now was Steve, Steve, Steve.

Steve had definitely been attacked by one of the creatures, though it was hard to tell what, so much blood hiding where the true injuries were, hiding what they were.

His eyes were closed, his chest barely rising and falling.

“Steve. God, Stevie, please,” Eddie knelt by his side, touching his cheek and then doing a quick inventory of what he could see of his injuries.

His clothes were torn almost entirely, and he was actively bleeding from multiple spots on his chest and stomach, and definitely at least one leg had an open wound.

It didn’t look good, and if he’d already been bleeding like this for more than a minute, he could have already lost too much blood.

“Eddie!” Dustin called from only a few feet away.

God, he couldn’t see Steve like this. None of them could.

“Go through the gate! Get Nancy or Robin quick!”

He hoped his voice held together enough to get the point across without giving away how scared he was.

“But-“

“Dustin, not now! Go!”

That time even he could hear his fear.

He heard the kids talking to themselves as they walked just a bit further into the woods where the gate was.

“Stevie, sweetheart, hey. Can you open those beautiful eyes for me?” Eddie didn’t know what he was saying, didn’t think he could control a single word at this point as he tried to get Steve to open his eyes.

He was pulling off his shirt, ripping it in half to try to create a tourniquet to stop the bleeding on his leg, use the other one to apply pressure to the worst wound on his stomach.

Eddie didn’t know much first aid; He could patch up a cut, knew to put ice on injuries that might swell, knew how to pull a splinter out.

But he knew enough to know that if he didn’t stop the bleeding, Steve would die right here in this shittier version of Hawkins.

He started singing as he worked, though he couldn’t tell you what. His only active thoughts were figuring out how to get Steve out of there.

When he looked up at Steve’s face, his eyes were open.

They were glassy, unfocused, but open.

“Stevie! Hey!” Eddie leaned in closer, tried to get him to focus on his face.

“Mm.”

“Hey, whatcha lookin’ at?” Eddie was worried he hit his head, maybe got a concussion on top of everything else.

“You. Always lookin’ atcha,” Steve mumbled, barely audible.

“Sweetheart, what got you? Did you see?”

“Like that.”

“What?”

“Swee’hear’.”

Steve’s eyes were blinking slowly, his lids drooping more with each blink.

He was going to pass out again.

“You gotta keep those eyes open, then, sweetheart. Just a bit longer, okay? Robin’s comin’ for us. And we’re gonna get you to the hospital so they can get you stitched up,” he kept talking, hoping that it would keep Steve focused on something, keep him awake.

“Need a…nap.”

“No, no, Stevie, not yet! Just a bit longer, okay? Just stay awake for me,” Eddie begged as he put pressure on two different wounds, one with his bare hand, just hoping to keep things contained long enough to get real help.

“Dunno if…I c’n do…that.”

His breaths were getting more ragged, more wet.

That meant he was bleeding inside. Too much.

Eddie ignored the tears falling from his own eyes, tried to listen for any voices coming through the gate or any monsters who could smell the blood.

All was quiet.

Eddie had always hated the quiet.

He felt Steve’s hand on his own covering the wound on his chest, and Eddie let out a sob.

“Love you…got me?” Steve got out, his hand briefly squeezing Eddie’s, like he was using every ounce of energy he had to do it.

Eddie leaned his head down, rested his forehead against Steve’s.

“I love you so much, sweetheart. So much. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner how fucking in love with you I am. It’s been you since the beginning, it’s you now, it’s you forever, and that means this isn’t it right? You’re gonna make it out of here and then I’m gonna tell you I love you every single day for the rest of our lives,” Eddie cried.

He hoped if a monster came for them, it would end everything quickly.

“Eddie! Steve!”

Nancy.

“Over here!” Eddie called back, watching as Steve’s eyes closed, as his small, pained smile started to fade.

He was so pale, even in the darkness surrounding them, Eddie could see his usual flush and glow was gone.

Nancy dropped to her knees next to him, her voice sounding distant as he realized that Steve wouldn’t survive this.

No one could.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hospitals were the bane of his existence.

Not just because someone he loved was in it, toeing the line between alive and dead.

It just reeked of pain, physical and emotional, the halls haunted with a misery that no joy could ever truly wash away.

The kids were all huddled up on the two couches in the corner with Robin, Chrissy, and Nancy, unable to sleep, but lacking the energy to pace like Eddie was.

He wouldn’t rest until he knew that Steve was okay.

He felt hands on his shoulders, stopping him in his tracks.

“C’mere, kid.”

Wayne’s voice was like a shock to the system, but he felt some of the tension he’d been holding for 12 hours now leave his body.

He turned and collapsed against Wayne, a loud sob leaving his throat.

He could feel eyes on him, but he didn’t care.

Wayne would keep him safe, keep the others from asking questions or trying to comfort him before he was ready.

Wayne managed to get them in the chairs closest to where they were standing, letting Eddie hide his face against his shoulder and rubbing his arm and back as he let out his emotions.

Nurses and doctors came and went, patients and families came and went, but their group stayed.

Everyone loved Steve too much to leave.

But the kids did eventually have to leave, their parents showing up one by one to pick them up, faces frowning with concern, but not asking questions.

They all stopped to give Eddie a hug on the way out, asked him to keep them updated when he heard news.

He nodded, but he knew that Wayne would probably be the one giving updates, especially if it-

No. Nope. He wasn’t thinking of things going wrong.

Steve would be fine.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Another four hours passed before a doctor walked out into the waiting room calling for Wayne Munson.

Eddie shot up, running to the doctor, who looked exhausted, beaten down.

Wayne was right behind him, hand already settling on his arm to keep him from being a little too much for the doctor.

“You’re Steve Harrington’s medical proxy?”

“I am. Is he okay?”

“He’s alive. He lost a lot of blood so we had to give him two transfusions during surgery, and he’s receiving another one now in recovery. He’ll be moved to a room when that’s done and you can see him, but I have to warn you, he’s most likely going to be unconscious for a couple days as his body recovers. He’s lucky to be alive. I don’t know what attacked him, but whatever it was did a lot of permanent damage. He has extensive scarring on his torso and leg, and from a scan of his brain, we can tell he had some fluid buildup that could be due to head trauma. Do you know if he hit his head?”

“He’s had a history of concussions, so any bump could have done somethin’,” Wayne told him.

“We’ll keep an eye on it. If you guys wanna have a seat, a nurse will get you when he’s settled in his room.”

But Eddie couldn’t possibly settle anywhere now, not now that he knew Steve was alive, that he’d be okay even if he was covered in scars.

“You heard the man,” Wayne said as he sat back down in the chair he was in before.

“Can’t.”

“Ed-“

“Nope. Just can’t. Not yet.”

Wayne sighed, but didn’t argue further, knew better than to try when Eddie was set on something.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Like clockwork, a nurse came out to get them an hour later.

Wayne had called Robin, then Dustin, told them what he knew and to have them spread the word. He told them not to come by for a bit since Steve would be asleep, but Eddie knew it was because he wanted Eddie to have a little privacy first.

The nurse walked them down the long hall behind the doors, took a left turn, and continued down another hall for a minute before stopping outside of a door.

It was quiet in this hall, only the occasional beeps coming from rooms and a nurse silently passing by, heading towards the nurse’s station.

“You’re welcome to stay the night tonight since it’s late, but only one person can usually stay after visiting hours. There’s a cot in the room for you. He’s pretty heavily sedated so he won’t wake up anytime soon, but if for some reason he does, please let us know. I’m Faye, and the RN on duty is Caroline. We just ask you limit movement in the halls at night so other patients aren’t bothered.”

They both nodded, just wanting to get in the room and see Steve.

She opened the door for them, holding it while they walked in, and closing it behind them.

Eddie didn’t look at first, just walked to the bed with his face bent to the floor, unable to face Steve.

But Wayne was suddenly there, holding Steve’s hand, and Eddie had to look up, had to see for himself that it was his Stevie.

It was a version of Steve that Eddie loved more than the last, felt pangs in his chest at the sight of the heavily bandaged and bruised man in front of him.

He was beautiful, always beautiful.

Even like this.

“You take the cot, Ed. I won’t sleep for a while anyway,” Wayne offered quietly.

“I…” Eddie looked at the cot set up across the room, then back at Steve. “I need to be here.”

“You need sleep, son. Steve would want you to rest, too.”

Wayne was right, of course he was. But he couldn’t be that far from Steve right now.

Anything farther than touching distance was too far.

“I’ll sleep in the chair. I promise. I just need to hold his hand,” Eddie whispered.

Wayne seemed to think about it for a moment before finally sighing and nodding.

“Fine, but if you end up with back main, that’s your problem.:

Wayne leaned down to kiss an unbandaged part of Steve’s head and then made his way over to the cot, slipping his boots and jacket off before settling into it.

Eddie sat down in the chair by the hospital bed, gently holding Steve’s hand in his, making sure nothing could possibly hurt or pull on any of the wires hanging off of him.

He let his head rest on the bed next to their joined hands, his eyes closing as he watched Steve’s slow, steady breathing.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

A thumb was tracing the back of his hand.

He smiled as he tried to sink further into the dream.

“He’s a sleepyhead.”

Eddie’s eyes shot open at the sound of Steve’s voice.

It was raspy, softer than usual, and slightly pained, but it was Steve.

“Stevie?”

“Mhm. Hey, Eds.”

Steve was awake, alive, here.

Eddie lifted his head and looked him over, noticing more of the bandages going across his chest.

“You almost died sweetheart.”

Steve blushed.

He blushed. He could do that again.

“I know.”

“You-“

“I didn’t.”

“But-“

“Eds.” Steve’s eyes bore into his own. “I didn’t.”

“Right. You didn’t,” Eddie said, looking at him in awe.

“And I’m sweetheart now, so that’s worth it.”

Now it was Eddie’s turn to blush, suddenly turning to see if Wayne was watching.

“Wayne ran home to grab some stuff for both of you and me.”

“You reading my mind?” Eddie laughed.

“No, unfortunately, all I got from the bats was some cool scars. No psychic mind powers. Hoping you might just answer a question though.”

“What’s that?”

“Did you mean it?”

Eddie’s heart dropped to his stomach, his stomach dropped to the floor.

“Mean what?”

“Eddie,” Steve rolled his eyes. “You said you loved me. Do you?”

“How do you remember that?”

“Been waiting for that for years. Hard to forget.”

“Years?” Eddie suddenly felt like an idiot, as he should.

He waited years to say what Steve waited years to hear. They wasted years.

“Years.”

“Don’t have to wait any more. If you don’t want to, I mean.”

Steve looked at him through glassy eyes, the pain medication still cycling through him.

But Eddie knew he was coherent, knew he was saying exactly what he meant.

“I love you, Eddie. Don’t wanna wait another minute, mkay?”

Eddie bit back tears, let himself feel Steve’s love.

It was warm, circled around him, settled in his chest next to the love he had for Steve.

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

“Wanna kiss you,” Steve whined, though it was halfhearted, his eyes closed as he was getting closer to falling back asleep.

“When you wake up again, I’m gonna kiss you so hard, it’ll send you into a coma,” Eddie laughed, mostly to himself.

“Mhm, soun’s good.”

Steve’s eyes were closed, his mouth falling open as he fell asleep.

Eddie watched, knew the look on his face was ridiculous, lovestruck.

That’s how Wayne found them, and even though he could have poked fun, he didn’t.

He’d watched them be idiots for years, he could hold back on the teasing for a little bit longer.

TAG LIST: @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @renaissan-vvitch @estrellami-1 @sofadofax @mightbeasleep

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #ao3fic #wayne munson #robin buckley #it led me to you #stranger things #chapter 5

[autumnshighlady]

I’ve Always Liked to Play With Fire (part 11)

NESTA ARCHERON X ERIS VANSERRA X FEMALE!READER

summary: Nesta is now in the Autumn court, and the reader has gone missing.

warnings: the usual IC slander, Cassian slander, mentions of abuse/beating, misogyny

word count: 7.7k holy

DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE

a/n: FINALLY THE NERIS POV!!!! So many of you have been begging for this part and I’m so glad I can finally deliver. Let me know what you think!

feedback is appreciated, just no hate pls! these are just my opinions, i’m more curious to see how you all like the writing and characterization and storylines!

part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7 // part 8 // part 9 // part 10

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NESTA POV

You were gone before Nesta could even blink. Your sweet scent only lingered in the space that you had once been, her hand now cold. Nesta saw red, trying to calm the uproar of silver fire inside of her that begged to be unleashed.

She whirled on Rhysand. “Where the hell did she go?” Her tone of voice left no room for bullshit.

The High Lord merely shrugged, folding his hands into his pockets and shrugging. “She’s probably fine, don’t worry.”

“I didn’t ask that,” Nesta growled, clenching her fists. “You’re going to tell me where she is.”

“Actually, I won’t. We need her here, not in Autumn.”

Rage made Nesta’s voice shake. “Why? So you can just send her off to the continent to be killed?”

For once, Rhys was silent. Nesta allowed a bit of that silver fire to flare into her eyes, letting him see what she would do if you were hurt. Every once of power within her was churning like a stormy ocean, wanting to be released upon this entire damned court. It sang to her, playing on her rage.

You had been taken from Nesta. Azriel had ripped your hand from hers and whisked you away to a location she probably had no hope of finding. She fought to keep the tears at bay – she had promised you that she wouldn’t leave without you, and now you were gone. The female who had reached out her hand and pulled her from her lowest point was snatched away moments before you all could have gotten away. You had seen and understood what Nesta had truly needed – to make her own choices rather than be broken into submission. You had given her strength, and now you were gone.

Feyre’s brows were furrowed and she stared at Nesta. “What are you talking about?”

She was unable to help herself – Nesta laughed humourlessly. “Don’t tell me your loving mate kept another secret from you?”

Feyre’s eyes darted between her and Rhys, unsure. Nesta knew they were speaking mentally, and she took that moment of silence to try reaching you.

(Y/N)? Where are you?

No response came. Nesta tried again and again, heart beating faster as each moment passed where your end remained quiet. She wasn’t sure if Azriel had taken you on Rhys’ orders or on his own volition. She prayed it was all part of some master plan you had formed and failed to tell Nesta, to make sure her reaction was real.  

Rhys fixed Nesta a level stare, violet eyes glowing with warning. “I suggest you leave for your new court, Lady Nesta.” He growled.

“No!” Both Feyre and Cassian exclaimed at the same time in protest.

“Quiet.” Rhys’ tone was lethal, and the two were silent.

Thorns pricked at Nesta’s heart at the sight. Her beautiful, strong sister who had hunted for them in the woods for years and defeated Amarantha before getting her neck snapped, was so easily subdued by her mate. Nesta knew how much trauma her sister had been through with the trials under the Mountain, and now she was just another one of Rhys’ puppets like everyone else. Rhys had used what Tamlin did to Feyre to paint himself as her salvation, and make Tamlin the bad guy when they were two sides of the same coin.

Except Tamlin would have told Feyre that her child would kill her.

Nesta glanced at Cassian – his eyes were so wide, so panicked and enraged at the thought of her leaving, it sent a sick feeling through her gut. She had become so close to maybe loving Cassian, to truly letting him in. But the more time went on the more she had realised that he would always side with Rhys – the clues were there earlier, but she had been too blind to see them. He had shamed her for sleeping with males after the war, yet he was 500 years old and had bedded a hundred times the males she had. Rhysand’s opinions seeped into the minds of the Inner Circle and became their own, like they were mindless puppets under his control.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Nesta growled at Cassian, feeling an ache in her chest – his ache, at her words. She felt him reaching and tugging at that link between them, the one that urged every part of her to run to his side. But she pulled away, shutting out his presence completely and instead reaching for that silver thread in her chest that called to you, drawing from its strength.

“Nes-” Cassian pleaded, breathing heavily.

“No.” Nesta’s words were firm, any ounce of affection she had drained out of her body. “You are not entitled to me. I don’t care what your reasoning is. I am done with this court, and I am done with you.”

“The High Lord is right, my dear,” Eris warned, gently touching Nesta’s elbow. “We should get going.”

Nesta met Rhys’ stare, smouldering. “Not without (Y/N).”

Dark mist began swirling between the High Lord’s fingers, a heavy sense of darkness falling over the room like a blanket. His voice was so low it was almost a snarl. “Leave.”

Her fingernails dug into the palms of her hands, drawing blood. The silver fire within her was pleading to be released, to cleanse this cursed city and sink it to hell. But Nesta did not know where you were, if you were still here or if Azriel had taken you far away. The risk was too great, and as much as Nesta wanted to burn this place to the ground, she knew that many of the innocent females in this court did not deserve to be sacrificed in such a fate. But perhaps many of them wished they would.

“Let’s go,” Eris spoke quietly, his grip on her elbow tightening. “We’ve caused enough of a scene.”

The Autumn prince seemed composed, but Nesta could feel the panic coming off him. He did not know where you were either, apparently, but seemed determined to get Nesta out of there regardless. She let him walk her a few steps away, but turned and gave the High Lord one last glare.

“If anything happens to her,” Nesta growled, letting that silver fire come out just enough to make Cassian and the others go still. “I do not care what you have done for me. I do not care that you are my sister, Feyre, or that Cassian is my mate. I will level this place and everything in it if (Y/N) is hurt in any way. Mark my words, High Lord. I will come for you.”

Thunder cracked above, and the very walls of the mountains trembled as Nesta lifted a finger and pointed it directly at Rhysand. He shrank from it, the dark mist retreating back into his fingertips like it was running away from Nesta’s power, unwilling to even try and fend it off. Silver flames melted from her body and slithered along the floor, creeping towards the table where the Inner Circle resided.

Feyre’s eyes were wide with shock as she stood up, hand curled protectively over her belly. Mor grabbed onto the High Lady’s shoulder, pulling her away from the silver flames and behind Rhysand. The only one who didn’t flinch was Cassian. His hazel eyes remained on Nesta, slightly glassy as if some spell overcame him. The general remained motionless, even as the silver flames crept closer.

Rhys snarled viciously, dark mist exploding from his fingertips and pulling screams from the audience, many of whom were winnowing away or fleeing the scene entirely at the showdown in front of them. But Nesta’s fire relented, singeing the expensive table and causing the wood to crackle and fall away. Rhys’ darkness tried to smother the fire, but it made no effect. The flames rose, as hot as lava yet as cold as ice as Nesta’s eyes glowed, never leaving the High Lord.

She was like a goddess of death, skirts bathed in silver fire yet never burning her. She let every ounce of hate she had suppressed for months bleed into her flames, causing them to whorl angrily like a stormy sea. Candles spilled over and statues crumbled as the mountain continued to tremble in response to Nesta’s power. Feyre’s cheeks were stained with tears as her sister’s fire halted inches away from the Inner Circle.

Save your tears, sister. Nesta scoffed. This is your fault too. If you had bothered to stand up to your mate in any way, none of this would have happened.

A twinge of guilt flickered in Nesta’s gut. She knew her sister’s naivety had been taken advantage of by her mate, but that did nothing to soothe the hurt within her at the fact that her sister had chosen a male she had known for maybe two years over Nesta. A male who painted himself as her saviour when she was at her lowest.

Nesta remembered holding Feyre as a baby, rocking her in her arms to help her fall asleep while their mother wanted nothing to do with the youngest child. Nesta had vowed to always look out for Feyre, even hiring that mercenary to help her try and get to Prythian after Tamlin had taken Feyre away from them. But all Feyre chose to remember, all she elected to tell people, was how Nesta let her go hunting in the woods at 14. As if it was Nesta’s job to step up as a parent at the age of 17.

Feyre had chosen to paint Nesta as the bad guy, and she was fine with letting them believe it. She no longer cared.

Out of the corner of her eye, orange flames entwined with her silver ones, casting an eerie glow in the room. Still, Nesta kept her gaze on Rhysand, fixing him with that stare that she could tell unnerved him. His chest heaved with the effort of trying to put out her flames, but to no avail. Her rage was no match for him.

“Nesta,” Eris’ voice purred in her ear, breaking the whirlwind of screaming in her own head. “Why don’t we go home? Those silver flames have had enough playtime for today.”

Nesta felt stuck, like her entire body was frozen with her finger pointed at the High Lord. She couldn’t move. But a gently orange flame wrapped around her arm, warming it. It was hot, but not hot enough to burn. Like the rays of sun after a winter’s chill, it brought warmth back into her bones. The flames mixed with her own, taming them as Nesta lowered her hand. The mountain’s trembling stopped, but the thunder overhead continued to rage, the flames flickering like an extension of lightning.

A flame-covered hand gently caressed her face, bringing her attention to Eris. He had stepped up beside her, flames whorling around his body in a similar manner to her own. His long hair danced with his orange fire, as if he was more flame than fae. Her silver, glowing eyes landed on Eris’ green ones that swirled with trickles of embers within them. She sighed at the warmth of his flames, letting them envelop them both in a mix of silver and orange fire.

“You beautiful, wicked goddess,” Eris breathed, his mouth inches away from Nesta’s, so much so she felt the heat from his words on her lips. “I’ve had enough of this court for one day. Let me take you home.”

Nesta felt herself snap back to reality, the roaring in her own head fading as the sounds of the room around her came back once again. But she did not look at her sister, or her mate. No, all she could focus on was Eris, standing so close to her. His thumb caressed her cheek, and his other hand was enclosed around her waist as if they were dancing like they had earlier. He looked beautiful, his angular face glowing with the light of their entwined flames. He stared at her with wonder, not fear like the others were. No, Eris did not shy away from her flames, but embraced them like they were his own. Two sets of fire merging into one, powerful force as he held her so close she was sure she would stop breathing.

At the same time, both Nesta and Eris turned their heads towards Rhysand and his family. The High Lord flinched at the motion, at the two fae already in synch as if they were one entity. He stared at them with nothing but hatred in his eyes, ignoring the pleas from Feyre behind him. Nesta let the glow in her eyes flare as Eris’ flames did the same, a threatening motion that insinuated instant incineration to anyone who made a move against them.

“Thank you for the invitation, Rhysand,” Eris said smoothly, his hand still on Nesta’s face. “I’m sure we’ll see you around. Perhaps at our wedding.”

Eris did not give Rhys time to make a move before he winnowed himself and Nesta away, taking their flames with them.

*********************

Nesta’s stomach churned as the whirling motion of winnowing vanished, leaving her dizzy. It took a few moments for her to catch her breath, doubling over and inhaling shakily. With the retreat of her flames, her entire body trembled. She could barely even register the red trees around her before she collapsed to the ground.

*********************

A soft, golden glow caused Nesta’s eyes to flicker open. Mind fuzzy, she tried to lift her head but failed, groaning as the feeling came back into her body. She felt as if her bones were made of rocks, creaking and grinding painfully with even the slightest hint of movement. There was a relentless pounding in her head that screamed at her to go back to sleep. She was tempted to, but the recent memories came flooding back.

Nesta jolted upright, ignoring the protests of her body. She took in the unfamiliar surroundings and panic flooded her. She was in a large bed, deep red sheets covering her body. They were soft against her skin, which she realised was covered in a soft white nightgown. Confused, she looked around the room. The bedframe was a deep, rich brown, carved with intricate designs like wood. The walls were high and arching towards the centre where an elaborate chandelier hung from the ceiling, decorated with a vast array of candles.  A fireplace was directly across from the bed on the other side of the large room, a comfortable looking armchair and lounge couch directly in front of it. A large window let in the morning light to the left of the bed, and Nesta squinted at the brightness. Slowly, she pulled the soft sheets away and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

Outside the window, a small body of water was sparking in the morning light. There was a small clearing between the window and the water’s edge, and lush green grass swayed in the gentle breeze. In the distance, Nesta noticed a large white horse grazing freely, a smaller dark brown one next to it. Large trees with thick trunks everywhere in varying burnt shades of autumn colours, and the chirping of birds were carried in the wind.

As Nesta inhaled, she felt the cool breeze from outside come in through the cracked window. It filled her lungs, soothing the burning sensation that seemed to coat her insides. The air smelled damp and musky, yet sweet at the same time. She tipped her head back, letting the breeze cool off her sweaty face.

On shaky feet, Nesta pushed herself up off the bed. Her body protested, legs unable to hold her up as she crashed onto the floor with a loud thump. She cursed, the ache in her bones worsening at the sudden contact with the wooden floor. The handle of the door clicked as it turned, and Eris rushed into the room.

Nesta hissed in pain as she tried to stand up, but failed again, her body giving out.

“Good morning to you.” Eris said casually, reaching out a hand. Nesta glared at him, grabbing onto the bed frame instead to haul herself up. She grunted in pain, sitting back down on the edge of the bed.

The prince snorted, shoving his hand back in his pocket. “You know it would have been much less painful if you had just let me–”

“Shut up.” She hissed, putting her head in her hands. “Just shut up.”

Eris said nothing, only coming down to sit on the bed a few feet away from her. She was thankful for the distance, that he had the decency to respect her space. If he were Cassian, he would have sat right next to her, ignoring her desperate pleas to be left alone until she gave up and accepted his help on his terms.

But Eris was not Cassian. He did not look at her with pity, only curiosity. His long hair was tied back into a low ponytail with a leather strap, and he bore a simple, white, billowy shirt and brown trousers. It was more casual than Nesta had ever seen him, which brought her some comfort.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes as Nesta evened her breathing. “You were supposed to take us both.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“I know.” He responded evenly. “But the shadowsinger whisking her away complicated things. She made me promise to get you out, no matter what happened to her.”  

Nesta’s eyes prickled with tears. She lifted her chin, refusing to let them fall. Her chest ached, the tattoo on her sternum like a cold brand that burned an empty hole in her heart. She could usually tap into its magic and feel you, sense the way your mark called to hers, hear your heartbeat through the bond. But there was only silence and emptiness. She could tell you weren’t dead, but the unknown alternative was almost worse.

You had fought so hard to get Nesta out, and she had finally escaped. But without you. The thought made her sick with guilt, heart aching at the thought of leaving you alone in the Night Court. “I promised her…” Nesta’s voice broke. “I promised her I wouldn’t leave without her.”

“And you did the best you could,” Eris assured her calmly. “But none of us could have predicted Azriel taking her away like that. I do not know if he did it of his own volition or under Rhys’ orders, but I will do my best to find out. One way or another, we will get her back, Nesta.”

“How?”

“Do not worry about that, I will take care of it.”

Nesta turned to face Eris, finally meeting his green gaze. “No,” She said firmly. “I will not sit by while you claim to be looking for her.”

Eris cocked an eyebrow in amusement, lips pulling into a smirk. “Do you not trust me, Nesta Archeron?”

Nesta straightened her spine. “No.”

He shrugged, seemingly unoffended. “Understandable, given what the Night Court has probably told you about me. But just for the sake of satisfying my own ego, let me explain something to you. It has been four days since the Winter Solstice celebration in the Hewn City. You have spent those four days passed out cold in my bed. Yes, Nesta, this is my room. In fact, this is my private residence. I have one in the main castle where I spend much of my time when I am busy at court, but not even my father can enter this one. The grounds are entirely safe, and I have my own staff that are loyal to me, not my father. Who, by the way, does not know you are here yet. I must tell him soon before he finds out from someone else, but my point is that I could have easily forced you to wake up and dragged you in front of him. Sure, he would be royally pissed that I brought you without his permission, but the benefits of having you in his court would outweigh that.”

Nesta swallowed the bile in her throat. She remembered the High Lord of the Autumn Court from the meeting, how Beron Vanserra had looked at everyone with nothing but cruelty and disdain, deeming them all lesser than him. Nesta was no fool – she knew that while the Inner Circle was not the most reliable source, they were right on the mark about Beron’s cruelty. “So why haven’t you done that?” She asked cautiously.

“A few reasons, believe it or not. First being I made a promise to (Y/N) that I would keep you safe. And with my father, you would not be. Secondly, I am sure you have heard about how the majority of this court treats its females. He would want us married and to have you pregnant by the end of the month, most likely. You would be locked in the castle, made to bear children and lend my father your powers for the rest of your life. That is not a fate I want for you, Nesta Archeron.”

Nesta’s brows furrowed. “And why do you care about me? You don’t even know me.”

“Again, two reasons. One, (Y/N) cares deeply about you. And two, that is the exact fate my mother suffered. If you believe one thing about me, Nesta Archeron, believe that I do not want to see any female living the life my mother is forced to live. Not if I can help it.”

Nesta huffed, shaking her head. “I’d like to believe that, Eris. But Rhys also claims to care about helping females, yet he lets the females in the Court of Nightmares be married to cruel males every day. And he lets the female Illyrians get mutilated and bred like livestock. So how exactly are you different from him?”

Eris was quiet for a moment, as if he was choosing his words carefully. Nesta was torn, she wanted to trust him – you had seemed willing to, but you weren’t here to judge Eris’ actions. She didn’t know Eris like you did, and was hesitant to trust him. She had hoped that he was different from Rhys, but had no way of telling yet.

“Nesta,” Eris said coolly. “I understand there’s nothing I can say to make you believe I am different from him. I will let you be the judge of that. In the meantime, you can reside here. You are free to wander the grounds, but I would advise you to wait until I have spoken with my father before leaving them. I will show you around, and you spend your time doing as you wish. And together, we will work on getting (Y/N) back.”

Nesta paused for a moment, then nodded. Eris was right – he could do all the talking in the world right now and she would still not fully trust him. But she would give him a chance to earn her trust through his actions, not false promises. Starting with getting you back.

She fiddled with the fabric of her nightgown before it suddenly dawned on her that she was in his private residence. “Wait, am I in your room?”

Eris smirked at her, making her nervous. “Yes, you are.” He said smugly.

A horrified, embarrassed pit grew in Nesta’s stomach as she realised somebody had to have put her in the nightgown. Her cheeks went red instantly. “Did you….”

The smirk disappeared at Nesta’s discomfort, and Eris snorted. “Mother above, no. While undressing you would be an honour, you were completely unconscious after using so much of your power. My mother and her female servants took you to your room and closed the door. I waited in the hallway while they removed your dress and put you in a nightgown. I did not enter until they said it was okay, and by then you were tucked in bed.”

Nesta sighed with relief, then mulled over his words. “Your mother was here?” She had only seen the Lady of the Autumn Court once, at the meeting. She had seemed frail and sullen, a faceless shadow in the presence of her cruel husband. There had been no life to her face, no emotion, just submission.

Eris stood up, strolling over to the window. He cranked the lever, pushing the window open and letting more of the morning air inside the room. “Yes,” He said, turning back towards Nesta and leaning against the windowsill. “She made that nightgown you are wearing. She, too, would like to keep you as far removed from my father as possible.”

“She won’t tell him I’m here?”

“Never. She has been through hell with my father, and he has broken her in so many ways. But she would never betray another suffering female, or her sons, no matter what he did to her. You are safe with her, Nesta.”

“Where is she?”

“Back in the palace with my father. He does not let her leave his sight for long.”

Nesta rubbed her temples, the pounding in her head not subsiding. “And I was asleep for your days?”

Eris hummed an agreement. “Have you ever released your power like that, Nesta?”

She shook her head.

“Interesting. Your magic is powerful, and needs to be released in small portions frequently so you don’t burn out. Suddenly letting go of that much power after suppressing it for so long when your body is not used to it took a lot out of you. It’s why you feel like shit. You will take a few days to feel better, but I can have one of my healers bring you a tonic to help. Would you like that?”

“Yes please.” Nesta said, cracking her knuckles.

Eris cocked his head, staring down at her. “Did they even let you train your powers?”

“A bit. With Amren, but it wasn’t really releasing my magic. She was trying to teach me how to reach out with it, but that’s it.”

“And you never were permitted to release even a single flame?”

“No.”

Eris scowled, visibly disgusted. He brought his slender hand off the windowsill and held it out, palm upwards. An orange flame appeared instantly, swirling in his hand. The tendrils flickered in the breeze, and she leaned forward with fascination. It was so different from her own fire, so bright and warm. Nesta wondered if her flames could even be put in the same category as fire.

“Like calls to like,” Eris said smoothly as the flame swirled into a column. “Our powers are similar, Nesta. I know how it feels to let it build up inside of you. Granted, our magic is different in many ways, but you can feel your fire calling out to mine right now, can’t you?”

He was right – Nesta felt the silver flames rise within her, begging her to let them out to play with Eris. They sang inside her, harmonising with the song of Eris’ own flames. Nesta felt captivated, almost in a trance-like state as she stared into the orange flame. It wasn’t hard to tell by the delight on Eris’ face that her eyes were glowing a faint silver.

“There we go,” He purred, letting a tendril of flame graze her chin but not burn it. “See how your magic craves mine, how your body craves me now? They create a song of fire and death, especially now that your flames have felt mine.”

Eris’ words kindled something in Nesta, and suddenly the subtle presence she felt within her that pulled her towards Cassian was quiet, extinguished by this new sensation. It coursed through her like water on the rocks, heating her frozen bones.

Eris’ flame disappeared, and Nesta felt the disappointment of her own magic as it retreated in response. “That’s enough playtime for today,” He said. “Your body has not recovered enough yet. But if you like, I can help you control it.”

Nesta’s throat was dry. The ache in her chest for you was almost unbearable, amplified by the churning sea of magic inside her that begged to be released and cleanse the world out of rage for you. She never talked about her magic, what it did to her. Not even with you. You were someone she felt comfortable sharing almost anything with, but not once did she reveal her greatest fear to you – that she would lose control of her flames and harm you.

The thought had occurred to her many times. Whenever she gazed upon your sweet smile, or your mischievous eyes she felt her heart flutter, but her magic responded too. She figured it was a result of the spell-made bond between you two, and it frightened her. It seemed her flames sang both to you and Eris, but she did not understand what they wanted, or why they were so drawn to you. It had never been that way with Cassian, even in their most heated and passionate moments. No, the flames were silent with him. Yet the only reason she pulled away after her first kiss with you was out of fear she would set herself and you ablaze.

And Nesta knew she’d never forgive herself if her magic harmed you. She did not want to embrace her magic, for it served as the reminder of everything bad that had happened in the past year. But for you, she’d brave it.

“Ok.” She said slowly. “But only under two conditions.”

Eris cocked his head, an amused look playing at his features. “Oh? And what might those be, my lovely bride?”

Nesta crossed her arms. “Firstly, you never lock me up. I am free to go where I wish whenever I wish and you will not try to coerce me under the illusion of some shitty choice. Got it?”

A red eyebrow was raised, as if he wanted to press the issue. But Eris simply nodded, allowing Nesta to continue.

“Second,” She said firmly, ensuring Eris was meeting her gaze. “I will only train so long as you are doing everything in your power to get (Y/N) back. Only if you swear on your life to both of those things will I cooperate.”

“I swear it,” Eris said, dramatically pressing his hand to heart. “Now rest, my dear. I will be back tomorrow after dealing with breaking the news of your arrival to my father. Then I can give you a tour of my grounds, if that’s what you’d like. If you need anything, my servants will be around to assist you.”

Nesta bit her lip, nodding. As much as she secretly wanted to explore Eris’ residence, the ache within her bones told her that he was right, and she should rest. The prince returned her nod politely, clasping his hands behind his back and heading towards the door.

“Eris!” She called out before she could stop herself.

He paused, hand on the doorknob. “Yes?”

Nesta paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. “Thank you.” Was all she said.

“Do not thank me yet, Nesta Archeron.” He warned, no hint of the usual mischief in his green eyes. “You have a long road ahead of you, and finding (Y/N) may not be easy. My father will not sit passively on your presence in his court. And you have to brace yourself for the day Cassian comes for you. Because he will, Nesta. And when he does you must be ready to make a choice.”

He did not linger, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him before Nesta could respond. She sighed, mulling over their conversation.

Nesta hoped beyond hope that Azriel’s disappearance with you was his own choice and not Rhysand’s order – that way you stood a better chance of finding your way to Autumn. She had noticed how the spymaster softened to you over the weeks of training. His normally expressionless gaze was different with you, even though half the time it was masked with annoyance. As much as Nesta had hated it, it had made her jealous. Deep down she knew his interest in you was nothing remotely romantic, only fascination with a female who spoke to him like she did not care about his reputation as Rhysand’s feared spymaster. No, you and Azriel had an easiness to your dynamic that likened what Nesta had with Emerie or Gwyn. She prayed it was enough for Azriel to save you from whatever hell the High Lord wanted to put you through.

Another cool breeze swept in, brushing the tear that had fallen down Nesta’s cheek. She laughed quietly, reminded of the House she had befriended in the Night Court. It had looked out for her when nobody else but you had, and while she was glad to be rid of the court, she certainly missed the House.

Nesta’s head returned to the soft pillow as she wrapped the blankets around her tightly, laying on her side to stare out the window. The horses in the distance had begun grooming each other’s withers, leaves fell all around them in the breeze, scattering across the green grass. It was like a painting, something Feyre would be dying to capture on her canvas if she had the opportunity. The majestic beasts seemed so content to simply exist in the presence of one another, the same way you and Nesta had – no expectations, no definite plans or overthinking. Just peace.

Another tear dripped down Nesta’s cheek, pooling onto the white pillow. She missed you, craved the feel of your presence in her chest that always soothed her mind in her worst moments. She had gotten used to having you so close even when you weren’t physically there, it felt as if her chest was about to cave in and shatter without you holding her together.

I wonder if this is what Feyre felt when Rhys died in the war? Nesta wondered, pressing a hand to her sternum, an unintentional attempt at soothing the ache. If she reached carefully, she could feel Cassian on the other end of the mating bond. She dared not venture too close, avoiding making any contact with the bond itself and alerting him of her presence. On the other end, she felt every bit of Cassian’s rage. His anger towards her for leaving, towards Eris for taking her away, and towards Rhys for letting it happen. He was feeling so many things at once, Nesta pulled back.

Yet everything was slightly muted, as if she was staring at Cassian through a foggy window. Vividly, she recalled Feyre describing the bond to her as feeling exactly what the other felt, not just watching it from afar. It didn’t feel like that with Cassian, but she wasn’t about to ask Eris about it.

Nesta wasn’t sure what to think of Eris yet. He hadn’t done anything wrong per se, but she could tell he was hiding something. The prince was a secretive male, but one who she had no choice but to trust.

Sighing, she closed her eyes and let the breeze lull her back into a deep sleep.

*********************

Earlier that morning, Nesta had woken up to a knock on the door. Groggily, she had rubbed her eyes and called for whoever it was to come in. Servants had greeted her politely, bringing her a tray of breakfast pastries, fruits, and a small bowl of oatmeal. They did not linger, merely laid out a dress on the chair for her and left after saying Eris would be arriving in an hour.

The gown was a deep green, with a square neckline and long loose sleeves. It flattered Nesta’s figure, and was somehow just the right level of tightness. She had also surprised herself by eating almost all the breakfast, her body clearly needing it after sleeping for four days apparently. While she had waited for Eris, she balanced upon the windowsill, content to stare out at the clearing and the water, trying not to make herself sick with worry for you.

Her dreamless sleep after using her powers had gone, as last night had been plagued with dreams of you, and it had left her waking up in a cold sweat. In the dream, Nesta was in a pit of darkness, reaching out her hand and calling out your name. You had been screaming, and she fought her way through the darkness to try and get to you. But it was as cold as ice, and the darkness was never ending. And then the dream changed, and she was in a dungeon. In the middle of the room you were chain, arms and legs spread barely enough for you to support your own weight. You looked pale and exhausted, tears staining your cheeks. Nesta tried to run to you, but the second she moved, a dust of darkness swept you away, and she had woken up.

It had taken half an hour of Nesta gulping in the fresh air to stop the shaking. Everything felt so real, and she couldn’t get rid of the pit in her stomach.

“Good morning,” Eris’ voice came from outside the door. “May I come in?”

Nesta pushed herself off the windowsill, smoothing the skirts of her dress. “Yes.” She called out.

The handle clicked as Eris entered the room. He looked much more formal than yesterday, donning a green tunic the same shade as her dress with a brown vest over top of it. His hair was neatly combed, and he looked put together – except for the nasty bruise framing his left eye. It was a deep purple with hints of red around the edges. The bags under his eyes outweighed his usual smirk.

Nesta raised an eyebrow. “What happened to your pretty face?”

Eris chuckled, taking another step towards her. “I’m flattered to know you think I have a pretty face, darling.”

She scoffed, ignoring the purr in his voice that threatened to make her cheeks go red. “Seriously, Eris. You were fine yesterday, what happened? DId you fall off your horse?”

“You have such little faith in my riding skills, Nesta.” Eris smirked, winking once before his expression turned more serious. “But no, I did not fall off my horse, thank you very much. I informed my father of my decision to bring you here and marry you. This is some of the result of his reaction.”

Nesta frowned, feeling queasy. The High Lord had done this to his own son, and Eris simply took it. She almost didn’t want to know what other horrors that Beron had inflicted on his own family. Sure, her own father was neglectful and hypocritical, but he had never laid a hand on her like this.

“Are you okay?” She asked carefully, studying the nasty bruise.

“I’m doing wonderful, Nesta.” Eris quipped. “Actually, considering my father didn’t incinerate me on the spot for offering my hand in marriage without his permission, I’d say it went quite well all things considered.”

Eris strolled over to the couch, swinging his legs up to rest them on the table before grabbing a leftover pastry and popping it into his mouth. Confused, Nesta stared. For a son whose father just beat him, Eris seemed to be in suspiciously good spirits.

“Come, sit.” Eris flashed her a toothy grin and patted the empty space next to him. “I won’t bite, I promise.”

Nesta’s eyes didn’t miss the red marks around his wrist that were revealed as his sleeve rode up ever so slightly. The skin was raw and burned, as if searing chains had been wrapped tightly around them.

But Eris didn’t miss where her eyes went, and his gaze hardened. “Stop looking at me like that,” He growled. “I do not need your pity, and I do not want it.”

Nesta held his gaze, crossing her arms. “It’s not pity towards you,” She snapped. “It's a pity that some males are so weak and pathetic they feel the need to beat their own family into obedience.”

Eris only blinked in surprise, and regret washed over Nesta immediately. She had spoken horrendously about the High Lord in his own court – Beron being evil did not matter, Nesta had grown up with court manners instilled in her. Being fae would not take that away from her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

The prince merely chuckled, cutting her off. “It’s quite alright, my dear. Refreshing, actually, to hear someone speak the truth about my father. But I would advise not doing so outside of this residence, if you can help it. My father has eyes and ears everywhere except for here, and they will not hesitate to inform the High Lord of any slander to gain his favour.”

He patted the spot next to him again, and Nesta reluctantly sat down. The cushions were soft, letting her sink comfortably into the couch. She was so close to Eris, able to smell the scent of oak and burnt wood coming from his skin. Being in such close proximity to the autumn prince stirred something in Nesta, and she angrily pushed it down. Eris was charming and attractive in his own way, yes, but she could still not get you out of her mind. Or the fact she was still mated to Cassian.

So Nesta ignored how Eris’ arm was casually draped behind her across the back of the couch as she spoke. “So what did he say exactly before he beat you bloody?”

Eris shrugged, grabbing a leftover strawberry and popping it into his mouth. “Oh, exactly as I predicted.” He said between bites. “‘How dare you do this without telling me? Do you have any idea the position you put me in? What’s wrong with you, boy? He calmed down once I told him how beneficial having you in his court would be. In the end he agreed to go through with the marriage, and he was practically salivating about the idea soon after.”

“Was that before or after he hurt you?” Nesta couldn’t stop herself from asking. She had seen so much male cruelty, and suffered much of it firsthand, but Beron was a whole other beast. He lived off of the power that hurting others gave him, and that was terrifying.

“Before. After we spoke, he did all this to remind me what will happen if I go behind his back. Then he requested that you meet us for dinner tonight.”

Nesta baulked. “Tonight?” Panic rose in her chest – she had not prepared to meet Beron so soon. Perhaps she had been delusional in thinking she could have postponed it, but given the past week, Beron Vanserra was the last thing on her mind.

“Yes. He wanted you to be brought to him immediately, but I explained you would be asleep until this afternoon because using your powers took so much out of you. I think the fact you used your magic enough that it overpowered Rhysand was enough to convince him to give you until tonight.”

She frowned. “I don’t know anything about Beron, or this court. If I say the wrong thing tonight…”

A warm hand lightly touched her shoulder, making Nesta’s skin burn. The contact made her breath hitch as the arm that was draped behind her grazed her skin.

“That is why I am here,” Eris said plainly. “We will spend the day together, and I will prepare you as best as I can for tonight. The main rule is to not speak unless spoken to. My father does not take kindly to females speaking out of turn.”

Eris’ hand brought Nesta reassurance, and she couldn’t say why. But as always, that aching feeling in her sternum reminded her of your absence, and the pain of it carved through her chest like a knife and she winced.

Eris frowned. “Are you ok?”

Nesta nodded, pressing a hand to her sternum and breathing deeply. She felt so cold without you, like her chest was nothing but an empty void. Every time she thought of you her heart threatened to crack a little more.

“Yes.” She breathed. “It’s just….”

“Just what?” Eris now sat up, leaning forward to examine Nesta’s face. His hand remained on her shoulder, steadying her.

“I miss her,” Nesta admitted. “I didn’t want to do any of this without her. She’s so brilliant, so good at all of these politics and scheming.”

“That’s why I enjoy my little fox so much.” Eris chuckled, rubbing small circles on Nesta’s shoulder. “But she also told me about this bond you have, that you used an ancient spell for. Can you feel her through it?”

“Usually. It’s like she’s always there on the other end of the rope, but not since Azriel took her. Now it just feels like….nothing. Only cold, dark emptiness.”

“Do you think she is dead?”

“No. I would know if she was. It’s like there’s something in the way of the connection, I don’t know.”

Eris frowned, his fine features twisted into a thoughtful expression. “And it hurts, physically, right now?”

Nesta took another deep breath. “Yes, whenever I think about her for too long knowing she’s not with me.”

“Interesting…” Eris’ murmur was almost inaudible.

Nesta whipped her head towards him. “What is that supposed to mean? Do you know something?”

Eris sat back, letting out a laugh and folding his hands behind his head. Nesta’s skin felt cold where his warm hand had been. “Funny, (Y/N) asked me the exact same thing.”

Nesta rolled her eyes at his avoidance. “And did you tell her?”

“No. Because I knew nothing for certain, and I still don’t. But I will look into it tomorrow, and you may accompany me if you wish.”

Nesta nodded, feeling a glimmer of hope rise. Eris was a resourceful male, and if anyone could find out something about how to regain her connection to you, it would be him. The male smirked, pushing off the couch and standing up. He extended his hand to Nesta.

“Well then,” He said. “It is time to introduce you to my court.”

Nesta let herself take Eris’ hand, realizing now that maybe, just maybe, he was a male worth putting some of her trust into.

taglist (comment if you want to be added): @queercontrarian @kitkat-writes-stuff @moonfawnx @sevikas-whore @weird-and-wise @jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet @kingshitonly @ladyofcherries @eerievixen @readingwritingwatching @peacecoffeeandflowers @a-frog-with-a-laptop @shadowqueen25 @lana08 @highladyofillyria @rachelnicolee @ladespedidas @little-darlingo @manonblackbeakquidditchteam13 @demirunner @terorovaerangi @hauntedandhopeful  @younxii @microwaveallthedemons @fanfictioniseverything @lovra974 @maddietheshoe @peaceandcrackers @emy1-9 @lostinfantasyworldsbi @issybee0611 @thoughtfulshepherdmongerkid @belledawnidk @whhyyynottt @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @littlebbb @piceous21 @sevendeadlyshins-blog @searchingford  @marigold-morelli

#ailtpwf #nesta archeron #nesta archeron fic #nesta archeron x eris vanserra #nesta x eris #nesta archeron x reader #Neris #eris acotar #eris vanserra #eris vanserra x reader #eris vanserra smut #nesta archeron smut #slowburn #acosf #acosf au #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #acosf rewrite #anti ic #anti nessian #anti inner circle #anti rhysand #anti feyre archeron #anti feysand #ic slander #night court #sjm #Azriel #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger

[bluberimufim]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

Hello. I got tagged for this by @squarebracket-trick on this post and I thought it sounded super fun. So, here we are!

1. What motivates you to write?

I started out as an artist, but I began writing once I realized that visual art as a medium wasn't enough to tell the stories I wanted to tell - it had no way of codifying lore, defining character traits, or even just easily telling a long story. I think it's still largely that, in a way. I come up with all these stories and I "get them out" through writing because I sure as hell can't keep them inside my brain for eternity.

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

This one is pretty recent, from a few chapters ago in DoS, but I'm really proud of it. I just feel like it emphasizes how much Seth's experience with souls connects with the body, which is the Goddess of Time's domain. A lot of metaphors in this story centre around bodies and physicality because of this. Here's the snippet:

And yet, there was Theo, with her soul so unwound there was no fixing it anymore. The most she could do was keep healing and healing, covering the cracks of the bowl with her own hands in the hope that they'd go back to normal. Keep filling the ocean so that, no matter how many holes lined its bed, it would never be empty. [...] She held her so tight she thought her hands would fuse to her skin. As if she could cover the cracks of her soul with her own body.

Idk, I just vibe with it.

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

(what happened to 3 and 4? where did they go?)

I'd say back-and-forth banter, probably because of my time in theatre, but also horror description. It creeps up on me. I keep writing horror on accident. And I always really like it. Just something about describing something weird and spooky.

6. What do you enjoy most about the Writeblr community?

Mostly the fact that there's all these other writers who have cool stuff and also wanna see my cool stuff. I already loved writing on my own, but knowing that there are people Out There who also care about my stories just feels amazing.

And also, the casual friendship between people. You interact with someone's blog, they interact with yours, and you suddenly feel like you're friends, kinda. I can only compare it to making quick friends with someone on the playground as a kid. I like it <3

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech-to-text, a writing program etc)

I am a very ✨analogue✨ person, so my best writing advice in this scenario is always: put that shit on paper.

Feel unsure about a scene? Put that shit on paper. It's like a 0.5th (hehe "halfth") draft that you will copy onto your document and you will always improve it with that second look.

Worried about perfectionism? Put that shit on paper. Even pencil, at least to me, feels hard to erase. It's mostly about living with the stuff you've written and not looking back - erasing is such a pain in the ass that you might as well just keep going forward.

Wanna write secretly during class/lectures/whatever where you're not allowed to have a device? Wadda ya know, the answer is also paper.

Wanna edit? Printing stuff out helps you get some distance from your own writing and it also makes you see it more as a book than as just something you've made.

It also generally makes you feel less bad about changing stuff later in the document, because you have a solid, physical record of what you've written before.

Put that shit on paper. It works well.

(sorry for the rant sbdhagjk)

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

I once made a post about the art movements in the world of the dystopia WIP (yes, seriously) but I can't find it anymore. I'm not gonna explain it again, it was stupidly long the first time around.

I guess, outside the dystopia WIP, I'm pretty proud of the whole Three Sister Goddesses thing from DoS. I have drawn designs, but I'll make another post sometime. I'm also proud of the relationship between the Goddesses tho.

They're at war with each other, but they're just doing it for entertainment. They kiiiinda hate each other but not as much as their desire to have fun. Like, they will send their daughters to decimate each other's armies, but they'll also hang out together in the Plane of the Gods. The war is kind of like a decades-long game of Monopoly they're having at the family function. And I just think it's cool. Goes into that whole thing about mortals being like ants to uncaring gods that I like.

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Kinda cliché, but I'd say this: it happens to everyone, dude (gender neutral). Everyone has periods of time when they feel bad and can't write. Or where they feel like their writing is terrible. Doesn't make you less of a writer.

Even if you're not as productive as other people: who cares, honestly? As long as you're having a good time and doing something you love, it doesn't matter how much time you need or don't need to finish something. Even if you never finish anything. And if you feel like you're not as good as other people: who cares either, you know? Everybody starts somewhere. And everybody has different strengths. You'll get better. You always do.

At the end of the day, we're all just doing this because we love it. Don't force yourself. The time will pass anyway.

Ooooookay that last one was a bit more serious than the rest. Anyway, I wanna tag, no pressure, @fleurtygurl @stesierra @cheeto-flavoured-pasta and @sarandipitywrites

#writeblr #writing #tag game #ramblies

[subversivecynic]

1. Salt - ok, a rocky start. Is someone making beef stew without salt? Who?! WHO IS DOING... ahem -10/10

2. Rosemary - all right, that is a seasoning and while it is a very basic one that I would assume the majority of European cuisine based beef stew wood include. So. Better than salt. 3/10

3. Bacon - nice, a little novel. And I guess if you make your stew with a few solid chunks of bacon in it. You might not need the salt? I guess. I have never done more than using bacon fat to sear the beef but I'm willing to give that to go. 7/10

4. Mushrooms - I suppose this is flavorful if you use specific kinds. And umani is the most important flavor part. Still. A pretty standard ingredient though. 6/10

5. Coffee - much better. Never tried this, though I've used coffee in different gravies and sauces before. Will give it a go, though I'm a little unsure because I associate it with slightly sweeter companion ingredients. 10/10

6. Cacao - I'm from Cincinnati; I love chili; this is probably delicious and I will have to give it a go. I'm surprised I've never tried it. Am sure the way chocolate is used in general food palettes ill prevent people from using it though. 9/10

7. Orange - now we have gotten to in not sure about that. The tartness of the orange pairs well with sweetness but using it in a umami-based dish with high levels of salt seems undesirable 6/10, it's a bold strategy, Cotton, let's see how it plays out.

8. Garlic - oh, it's salt 2: electric boogaloo. because there probably are people who have never used real garlic and there are many flavor profiles produced in how it's prepared -1/10

9. Onion - Oh, come on. -10/10

10. Pepper[corn] - who wrote this, jfc. I know you are white, and that's why pepper is novel. -5/10

11. Cinnamon - this is more like it. I bet cinnamon adds a lot of warmth to the stew. I think it would depend heavily on what other ingredients you used herbs and seasoning wise, because there are some things that it clashes with. 7/10.

12. Potato - ok, I looked up the author and Nicole Adams definitely has a taco Tuesday where she eats store bought taco mix hard shell tacos, wearing socks and shoes in the house, and does yoga led by another white lady with a hyphenated first name like Becky-Sue or Ruth-Anne . I'm gonna generally assume she wrote this while wine hung over because I want to assume nice things.

Look, potatoes absolutely belong in beef stew. They are in fact one of the core ingredients that will always appear in beef stew. But as the title of this is things that add flavor to beef stew, and the fact that potatoes are only carb flavored, and their function is to pick up the flavors around them the addition of it. to this list. is. irritating. Null/10

13. Carrots - I... Guess. I'm going to give this points because carrots do add a flavor. They are a part of the flavor profile. They are part of the standard flavor profile, though, so 4/10

14. Red wine - Yes. Ok. Cool. You should definitely add some form of alcohol to your beef stew because it will marry the flavors better. However, this is pretty basic (I prefer the sharpness of dry white wine, personally but it's a far less popular choice) 7/10

15. [Stout] Beer - there are worse places to end this. I'm gonna give Nicole points for specifically saying stout instead of general beer. Bear in general is a good ingredient for something as rich and heavy as beef stew, but stout is the correct choice if you're going to go with it. 8/10

#food #beef stew #home cooking #I'm being critical #this is concrit #but #like #snark

[tommysversion]

Unconditionally: Joel Miller x OC (Part 6/10)

Summary: Lucy loves Joel Miller unconditionally. A cross country trip to escort an immune, bad mouthed teenager to safety might just prove it.

CWs: canon typical violence / unsafe sex / age gap / language / spoilers (if anyone cares) / canon divergence / mentions of attempted sexual assault / themes of previous suicidal tendencies

Note: this work is intended for adult audiences only. It is not strictly canon compliant, and was originally posted to A03 when I first ventured into the fandom.

Chapter Index: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

[ Fifteen Months Prior … ]

Lucy wrapped her scarf a little tighter around herself as she paced through the near deserted backstreets of the QZ. It wasn’t a long walk between her place and Joel’s, and she wanted to drop off his share of what she had left before morning, so he could trade for what he needed.

Half the pharmaceuticals she had scavenged weren’t intended for recreational use, but they still had that effect, and people wanted them, so they’d pay. But that wasn’t her mode of operation. She wanted to keep people healthy, not get them high. So she shilled out drugs to those in need, and gave half of what was left to Joel as payment for taking her out on scavenging trips to begin with.

She didn’t need to pay him anymore; they’d come to a sort of mutual understanding recently, but she still felt bad if she didn’t. The older man had had a rough life, and she felt bad for accepting his help - his protection - without paying for it. Nothing came free in the QZ, and she knew that even if they did have an understanding, it would be wrong not to split the bounty.

Hence, her being out on the streets at this hour. Joel was expecting her. She always made her drops late at night, after she’d already made her rounds to the sick. She’d drop off the goods, they’d have a drink, and then she’d head home before curfew. A couple times, they’d had a few too many, and she’d passed out on his couch. No big deal.

Lucy assumed they were friends, or as close to friends as Joel got. He was prickly and guarded and she knew it, but she was fond of the man anyway. He was older than her, by a number that would have been significant in the old world. In this new world it didn’t matter so much, but it was enough to keep Lucy hesitant, unsure of how she felt about him. Perhaps it was simply a little crush, formed by their close proximity and the nature of their work?

She was lost in her thoughts, didn’t notice the threat until it was too late.

That Joel knew to expect her, knew she was on her way, was only a small comfort when she realised she was being followed. The man wasn’t FEDRA, that was for sure. She was pretty sure he was one of the men who traded for pills she brought in, but she wasn’t positive.

What she did know, was he was twice her size, and probably ten years younger than her. She wasn’t what she’d call ancient, at thirty five, but she was still female, still half his size, and down a back street, just half a block from Joel’s place.

This was going to be a terrible place to die. Even more terrible if she didn’t end up being killed; that was a quick and merciful ending, and this man didn’t look the type.

She almost prayed he just wanted to violently relieve her of the goods she was carrying, but there was a nasty look in his eye as he cornered her, pushed her roughly into the brick wall.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing out here, all by yourself?”

There was a flash of something metallic; a knife in his hand, that he held briefly to her throat before she kicked him in the shin; the knife slipped. She felt it bite into skin beneath her left eye. It missed the eye, cut only superficially, but it bled nonetheless.

More worrisome was the rage that she had incited in her attacker; she was rewarded for her escape attempt by a punch to the head, a hand in a vice like grip on her throat as the other used the knife to hack at her shirt.

Somehow, she was certain she was managing to scream. Let someone find them. Hell, let FEDRA find them and arrest her for being out so close to curfew. Anything, even jail, was better than being raped and beaten by this awful, awful person.

Her head was spinning as the man leered at her, hand tightening on her neck.

Her rescuer came out of nowhere, or at least, so it seemed to her, with one eye obscured by blood, the other hazy. Her peripheral vision wasn’t exactly stellar in that moment.

A fist collided with her attacker’s head, stunning him into dropping his knife; it was promptly kicked away from his reach.

“Let her go, now.”

Dimly, she recognised the voice.

Joel had been expecting her, and she was always so damn precise with her timing. Always on time, or early. Never a minute late, let alone fifteen. So he had come to investigate, gone looking, a suspicion that trouble may have befallen her leading him to the backstreets which she usually traveled.

She wasn’t certain what happened next; she was on the verge of unconsciousness when she felt the hand release her, dropped to the floor, gasping for breath and trying desperately to staunch the blood from the wound beneath her eye.

There was the distinct sound of violence, of fists hitting flesh. Lucy had to force herself to look up, to steady herself. What if Joel was hurt? What if he was getting hurt trying to protect her?

Her vision cleared in time for her to glimpse a grisly sight. Joel was on top of the other man, steadily beating every inch of his face that he could reach. Blood pooled on the concrete, but he didn’t stop, not until he was satisfied that her attacker was dead.

Bloodied and a little bruised, he got to his feet, dusted his knuckles off on his jeans; they were coated in blood, his own and the assailant’s, but Lucy didn’t shy away. She was still weak, still in pain. Her head ached and her eye hurt.

Joel took one look at her, sighed, and lifted her up into his arms, as if she were a child, not a woman grown.

It had bothered him, to worry about her. He had gotten used to the dark haired woman, with her soft voice and grey eyes and her penchant for kindness to the unfortunate of the QZ. Coming across her in such danger, with someone so despicable trying to commit the worst of crimes against women… it had sent him into a rage, into the sort of seeing red he hadn’t unleashed in years.

Hell, he was fifty five years old and had just beaten a man to death for the crime. He’d be almost impressed with himself if he wasn’t so damn worried about the woman he carried.

He would take her back to his apartment, clean her up. Put ice on her head, give her an aspirin, clean the wound under her eye. It wasn’t deep enough to need stitches, he didn’t think, but it would scar. She was strong. She would be alright. As long as he took care of her, she would be okay.

Her grey eyes were transfixed on the pool of blood, the mangled face of her would be rapist.

“You got him…” she was almost awed in her tone, leaning her head on his shoulder. The indignity of being carried was long gone; everything hurt, her throat bruised. She was certain she might lose her voice.

“I got him for you, darling. He’s not gonna hurt you. Nobody’s gonna hurt you ever again.” Joel promised, carrying her up the steps, somehow managing to get the apartment door unlocked.

She had slept on his couch before, but she had been drunk and healthy in those scenarios. There was nothing else for it; he crossed to his bedroom, carefully deposited her on his bed.

“Don’t try and stand up, alright? I’m gonna fetch you some ice and something for the pain.”

Lucy didn’t try and move; he sounded so damn commanding, so reassuring, and besides, she was in too much pain to even try.

She rolled onto her side, wincing. The bed wasn’t uncomfortable, not really, and it smelled like him. Like whiskey and cheap cologne and a sort of musky sweat that wasn’t entirely unappealing. It was the same scent that had filled her nose when he had been carrying her. Not unpleasant. Almost appealing.

Lucy shoved the thought away as Joel returned to the room, carrying a glass of water, an aspirin, and a clean cloth.

Grateful, Lucy accepted the painkillers and gulped the water before she lay back down; her head was still in pain, and her chest burned from having to gasp for breath for so long.

“Easy now,” Joel placed the cool cloth onto her forehead, “that’ll take some of the swelling out. Your eye will sting for a bit while it heals, but it doesn’t need stitches.”

She would have sighed in relief, but it hurt to do so.

He grimaced as he looked her over. “I think your neck will bruise, though.”

She touched the handprint that had been left wrapped around her throat like the world’s most fucked up necklace. Joel cast it a dark look.

“I should have taken my time dealing with him. If you hadn’t needed me more…” the unspoken threat trailed off, hung in the air.

Lucy appreciated it, said nothing for a moment as she surveyed the older man in the dim light. He was handsome, she thought idly. She had always thought he was handsome, even when she had first approached him about taking her out of the QZ.

Given she’d just watched him beat a man to a bloody pulp, she supposed she should have been more frightened of him, but considering the circumstances…

He had never been more attractive to her than in this moment. The way he carefully sat on the edge of the bed, shone a light into her eyes to check for concussion. The way he cleaned the cut beneath her eye carefully. Tucked her under the blanket when it became clear she wasn’t going to be able to make it home.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry…” he murmured it almost softly, tenderly, as he cleaned the cut with liquor and she winced.

“Don’t be sorry,” she replied, watching him, “you saved my life.”

“I’d do it again. Nobody deserves that fate. Let alone you, you of all people…” he trailed off, handed her a glass of cheap whiskey.

It was the sort she drank to sleep, usually, and he knew it.

“Drink this. Get some sleep. I’ll be on the couch if you need me, and Tess is in the room next door.”

Lucy drained the glass in a long gulp, felt the liquor burn her on the way down.

“Won’t you stay?” She was half out of it on painkillers, adrenaline, and whatever damage had been done to her, but she knew what she was saying.

“Don’t think that’s a good idea, darling. Given the circumstances… I don’t want you to think you owe me…”

“Not like that!” Lucy protested, although quite frankly, as drugged as she was, as much as she had gone through the imminent threat of sexual violence, she would have given Joel anything, anything he wanted.

“I just don’t want to be alone…” she admitted in a small voice.

Joel looked at the shaken woman, at her mess of dark hair, tangled and free from its usual braid, at her wide grey eyes, still haunted and frightened. Nobody on the damn planet had the right to make her look that way.

That wasn’t what frightened him, what spurred him to act, to give in. It was the way that she looked at him, beyond the fear and the horror she had seen and been subjected to. There was something in her gaze that softened whenever she looked at him, soft and wanting.

“God damn it,” he muttered, circling the bed to the other side. “Alright. I’ll be here. You get some rest. You need to heal.”

They had shared a bed before, out of the QZ, when there had been no options. They’d always kept things strictly neutral, no hint of any sort of impropriety. He wasn’t about to change that now, of all damn times. He was warm enough, so he didn’t climb under the blanket. It kept an extra barrier between them.

The girl had been almost assaulted, for gods sake. He didn’t want to further traumatise her, even though their history was unlikely to make that the case.

Nothing had changed, he reminded himself firmly. She was just Lucy. Just a smuggling partner. Just an associate. Never mind their mutual attraction. Just an associate. An associate he’d just beaten a man to death to protect.

“Joel?” Her voice broke his internal conflict.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice half slurred from painkillers and liquor.

“I got you, darling.” Was all he said in reply; she didn’t hear him, already fast asleep, lulled by his presence to finally feel safe enough to rest.

——

Her head was pounding; like someone had taken a hammer to the inside of her skull, on repeat. For a moment, Lucy pondered the world’s worst hangover, or potentially infection. It couldn’t be the latter; she hadn’t been in any sort of situation where she might have gotten exposed to the infection. She wasn’t sick, then, and not hungover.

Slowly, the previous night’s events started rushing back. Going to make the drop off. Being followed. Being attacked. Almost being…

Lucy shuddered. She hadn’t been. She hadn’t been and that was what mattered. If it wasn’t for Joel…

Joel. She dimly remembered him coming to her rescue, absolutely destroying the man who had attacked her.

Oh god… what if he was caught? What if by some chance he got into trouble for protecting her? She needed to go and find him, to make sure he was okay…

She opened her eyes, blinked. She wasn’t in her bed. Her eyes closed again; it hurt her left eye to open it. She vaguely remembered Joel carrying her. Not to her home, then, but his? But this was too roomy to be the couch. Her hand reached out and found the cool other side of the bed.

Oh.

Her cheeks heated as she remembered him giving her something for the pain, cleaning the still aching wound under her eye. Remembered asking him to stay with her, because she only really felt safe with him.

Hell, she’d gone and thoroughly embarrassed herself. Hopefully she could pass it off as being in shock. Hopefully he didn’t think too poorly of her.

She was contemplating all of this so much she barely heard the bedroom door open. Barely heard the footsteps until he was right beside her. She cracked her eyes open again, found Joel standing beside the bed with a chipped glass of water in one hand.

“How are you feeling?” There was contempt in his gaze as he looked at her, but Lucy knew it wasn’t directed at her. Not by the way he was looking at the bruises on her neck.

“Like shit.” She admitted; her voice came out hoarse, like she’d screamed for six hours solid.

“Yeah. You don’t look so fantastic either, darling.” He shook his head, set the glass down beside the bed and offered her his hands so she could sit up.

Reluctantly, she took them, let him help her sit.

“Thanks…”

She decided she didn’t particularly want to see her reflection at the moment, but she caught sight of it in the mirror on the wall anyway. Truly, she looked like absolute hell. Her eyes were slightly puffy from where she’d cried; a bruise was forming under her left eye where the knife had cut, which had scabbed overnight but still looked angry and red. Worst of all were the purple bruises in the shape of fingers around her throat. Wincing, she looked away, found herself being handed the glass of water.

“You need to keep hydrated.” Joel reminded her. “Are you hungry?”

She shook her head, even though she could have eaten. Food was a commodity in the QZ; he had done enough for her, and even if he was her friend, she wasn’t about to eat his food.

“You just saying that?” He crossed his arms, watching her until she withered a little. “That’s what I thought. Drink all of that.” He added, retreating from the room.

Lucy wasn’t about to test his patience; she knew he had her best interests at heart. After all, he had quite literally beaten a man to a pulp to protect her, and here he was bringing her water and taking care of her like it was nothing.

He returned a few moments later with some toasted bread. Real bread, full of grains and seeds, the wheat grown in some underground farm in the heart of the FEDRA HQ in the QZ.

“Is that bread?” Lucy stared at it. Bread was a luxury, given the source of the outbreak had begun in food supply. Growing wheat, making bread, nowadays, was an artisan job. She’d mentioned this particular bread to him once or twice; she’d been considering trading for a loaf with their last haul, but never got round to it.

“I got it last night, on my way back from work.” He offered her the plate, “I thought you’d like the surprise.”

It hurt to smile, but she smiled anyway as they ate together. It was nice to eat a meal together that wasn’t a quickly gobbled snack whilst out on a supply run or smuggling job.

“It must have cost you a fortune…”

He shrugged. “We had a good run. I wanted us to celebrate. Have a few drinks. Unfortunately things didn’t go that way…” his expression darkened again, and he rubbed his bruised knuckles.

Lucy noticed the bruising at once.

“You’re hurt…”

“It’s nothing.” He assured her, but she reached over and grabbed his hand, inspecting the bruises for herself.

“You’re hurt because of me…” Guilt filled her voice.

He shook his head, frowning.

“Not because of you. God, how can it possibly be your fault? You were attacked, for gods sake. It’s not your fault at all. I’d do it again, and if anyone else ever tries it…” he trailed off, expression stormy. Lucy wasn’t sure what to make of it.

That Joel was protective, she knew. But she had never imagined him to be this protective, let alone have that streak applied to her to the point that he would kill without hesitation or remorse to protect her.

“Do you think you’ll get in trouble?”

“No witnesses, and I recognised the fucker. He had a… reputation, to say the least. Trust me, he won’t be missed.” Joel sighed, looked down at the way she held his bruised hand in both of hers. “More to the point… are you alright?”

She shrugged.

“I’m shaken up, and I’ll probably be sore for a while, but I’m alright. You got there just in time.”

“Not soon enough…” he eyed her bruised throat darkly, “but I’m glad.”

She smiled faintly.

“Joel?”

“Yeah?”

“Did I say thank you? I don’t know if I did.” She wasn’t sure; she thought she might have before she passed out, but she didn’t recall.

Her hands were roughened from manual labour, but still soft, still warm. They were very distracting. He had to shake himself out of his own thoughts to answer her.

“You don’t need to thank me, darling.” Joel assured her.

What he didn’t say was: stay. Stay and don’t leave me and that’ll be thanks enough.

Because that trail of thought scared him. He knew he was protective of her, hell, he knew he was attracted to her. But that wasn’t a path he could go down. It simply wasn’t allowed, and besides. She was twenty years his junior. Whether or not he had saved her, whether or not they were friends… he doubted she would ever view him in that light.

And so he buried those budding feelings deep down, gently removed his hand from hers.

“Get some more sleep, alright? When you’re recovered enough, we’ll get you home. Even if that’s a few days from now. I’ll sleep on the couch, alright?”

She was so exhausted, still recovering from her ordeal. The idea of going home in this state didn’t appeal to her at all, so she was almost glad when he offered her a place to stay until she was better.

“That sounds good… you’ll have to trade the rest of the stuff… it can pay for me being here.”

He sighed; he didn’t want payment for looking after her, but he knew that would be fighting a losing battle, so he just nodded, helped her lie back down, tucked the blanket around her.

“I’ll check on you in the afternoon, alright?”

“Okay…” Lucy closed her eyes, no longer able to fight her own fatigue. She almost, ashamedly, wished he might kiss her forehead. What she couldn’t know - and didn’t know - was that he was struck by the exact same impulse, had to fight the exact same desire, as he left the room swiftly.

The slight concussion and the shock had made several things fuzzy in Lucy’s head, but several things were concrete and absolute: Joel had saved her life, was taking care of her despite having no reason to do so, and most importantly, she realised, she was deeply and thoroughly in love with the man.

Come what may, he had her loyalty, her trust, and her unwavering support. She would go where he went, protect him as best as she could, not just to repay him for what he had done, but because she couldn’t imagine a world without him. No matter if he never - and she honestly didn’t think he ever would - returned her feelings, she knew in her heart that she loved him, and nothing could or would change that. She would be content if they just remained friends, so long as they maintained the closeness and trust they had now.

He had killed a man for her. It was an oddly romantic notion; that he was a man with violent tendencies and a traumatic past, but he had found her worth saving. Had found her worth protecting.

It warmed her, made her heart full and ache with longing and love. Maybe one day, one day, she might be able to be open with those feelings. For now, she slept, curled under the blanket that smelled of him, and allowed herself time to heal.

#my writing #rue unconditionally #pedro pascal #joel miller x oc #joel miller #the last of us #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #pedro pascal characters

[pokesmashorpokepass]

Gen V, Complete!

Hooray! We've taken, shall we say, a full smash census of the Unova Region's most smashable Pokemon!

As such, let us proceed with the customary look at this generations...

Sultans of Smash!

(Which, as I'm sure y'all are aware of by now, is just a fancy way of saying they got more "Smash" than "Pass" votes.)

So let's not delay further, how about we see what Gen V has to offer? Our Smashables are (under the Read More because oh man, as per usual, this gonna take a while):

1. Oh hey, looks like we're back to starting with the Grass Starter! But really, I shouldn't be too surprised, since said Grass Starter is the imposing yet regal Serperior! At 72.9% Smashable we're starting Unova off strong with a Pokemon of such noble bearing we can't help but stand at attention in the face of such a glare.

2. And next on the list, we have our Fire Starter, Emboar! With plenty to love, a charming hot-bloodedness, and a warmth both physical and emotional, it's easy to see how they earned that 68.9% Smash rating!

3. Samurai have always had a certain romance about them, not to dissimilar to the romances of European knights. And with our Water Starter, Samurott, we can see this romance (or at least a kind of romance) is alive and well! Whether it's Unovan Samurott's resemblance to a more standard samurai (and 60.1% Smash rating) or the more black knight/ronin-esque Hisuian variant (and said variant's 70.9% rating), it's clear many will be romantically interested in this samurai.

4. Seems Weavile isn't the only thief to take hearts, because we have the very literal cat burglar Liepard sneaking their way into the Sultans of Smash! As that 64.2% Smash rating demonstrates, this cat has more than just razor sharp claws in their arsenal of tools.

5. Like a bolt from the blue, it's time for the Reaper Rev- Wait, wrong series. But, incorrect references aside, our next entry does make their way onto the list from out of the blue! Zebstrika, everyone's favorite zapping zebra, has charged their way onto the list with a 55.4% Smash rating!

6. Our next entrant, I dunno what I can say about them, other than the fact that I really had to force myself to put in that "I dunno" part in the beginning there because in nearly every language, their name is a pun that means being unsure if you know the answer to a question! As you can probably guess from that, it's Audino! Not hard to see how they got here, they're cute! They're lovable! They help at Pokemon Centers! They have a 56.5% Smash rating! And, they have a Mega Evolution with a strong 67.7% rating! What can I say, everyone loves the healer! (Well the reasonable people do.)

7. You guys have a thing for parental figures, don't y'all? Why do I ask? Because next on the list we have Leavanny, the Nurturing Pokemon! With a 71.2% Smash rating, I reiterate on my point that y'all seem to have a thing for more parent-like Pokemon. Although... I suppose, considering Leavanny's habit of making plants into wearable accessories and clothes, Leavanny has the benefit of being the most likely Pokemon to make you a flower crown! And I gotta admit, hard not to appreciate a gesture like that.

8. This next one, some of y'all seemed surprised about! But me? I saw them coming a mile away, I have seen my fair share of people gushing about this Pokemon! Who is it? Why, it's none other than Scolipede! Just shy of the 70% mark with a still-majorly-impressive 69.9% Smash rating, looks like this massive bug's cool looks have attracted more than you'd think!

9. Nobility takes many forms, as seen by our next Sultan's two forms! But no matter what form Lilligant takes, her elegance and grace are evident! Whether it's the more princess like Unovan Lilligant (67.7% Smash rating) or the more sporty and athletic Hisuian Lilligant (68.7% Smash rating), the beauty of this noble flower cannot be denied.

10. Oh hey, a middle evolution! Haven't seen one of these in a while! All said though I am not surprised. Have you ever heard the expression "Girls want bad boys"? Because even though not all of y'all are women and not all Krokoroks are dudes, I think that same principal still applies! If nothing else, that 52.4% Smash rating seems to indicate something!

11. But obviously, the badder the dude, the more people want them. This is definitely real science, look we have Krookodile to prove it! They're basically the baddest crocodile ever, and they've got a solid 64.8% Smash rating to back up the conclusion!

12. When exploring the Relic Castle, one must beware any sarcophagus they see, for it may actually be a Cofagrifus! At least, I say beware, but judging by that 55.5% Smash rating, I suspect many of y'all would respond to my warning with a hearty "Don't threaten me with a good time!" And to each their own, but I'd just like to say maybe catch them first so the smashing can be done much more safely?

13. This next Pokemon may be a master of illusions, but you know what isn't illusory? Everyone's love for them! That's right, it's the Pokemon I personally was most looking forward to, Zoroark! And Oh Boy, they pulled Some Numbers, both Unovan and Hisuian alike. Coming in at a whopping 84.5% Smash and an equally impressive 84.2% Smash respectively, I'm glad to report that these two have dethroned previous record holder Hisuian Typhlosion within the vaunted ranks of the Gods of Smash! And yes, I'm counting them together as co-holders of the record. The percentages are so close I'm convinced the difference in numbers is pretty much just because they got different numbers of votes. Yes, it seems Zoroark's popularity from back when Gen V was young never really waned.

14. Anyways, coming down from the high of our new Gods of Smash, we find ourselves in the presence of the lovely Cinccino and her classy feather boa-esque fur! Coming in at a 51.5% Smash rating, seems this chinchilla cleans up quite nicely.

15. So many people love goth fashion, which is understandable as that shit rules. So it's probably no surprise that Gothitelle, who may as well be called the Goth Pokemon, managed to get a 61.9% Smash rating! They don't seem surprised either, they probably foresaw it with their powers...

16. I'm gonna be honest, I've genuinely got nothing for this one, they came out of left field for me. Reuniclus and their 50.9% Smash rating! I mean, considering they're a kind of slime creature maybe I shouldn't be too surprised (I've seen some very risque slime people art), and yet somehow I am.

17. People do love a majestic stag. Their great antlers, their graceful form and movements, some even consider them an embodiment of nature itself. So it's kinda fitting on multiple ends that our next Sultan is Sawsbuck, the embodiment of the seasons! Pulling a 56.3% rating in Spring Form, a 53.7% rating in Summer Form, a 60.3% rating in Autumn Form, and a 63.2% rating in Winter Form, Sawsbuck has something for any enjoyer of any season (Especially the colder season fans it seems).

18. On next Sultan, I must say there's a lot to appreciate. Their Typing paired with Levitate, their sucker-shaped mouth having many applications for smashing, the electricity for those of y'all into that, they have it all. Yes, it's true, Eelektross has made it into the Sultans of Smash with a 51.9% Smash rating! I'd call it shocking, but the only thing shocking here is their type. It's a shame Eelektross doesn't have any bioluminescence though, imagine the pun! (If they lit up they'd be a Lamprey! *Ba-Dum-Tss*)

19. Swinging onto the list with all the subtlety of a battleaxe, it's Haxorus! Packing some very nice armor, a head like a fine axe, and a 59.6% Smash rating, this dragon warrior is primed for more than battle!

20. When they say everybody was kung-fu fighting, what they don't tell you is everybody was doing it in hopes of impressing this next Sultan of Smash. Mienshao, the next entry on our list, showcases the power and skill of a martial artist to great effect, earning themselves a 70.5% Smash rating! By the way, did you know smashing is actually a decent form of exercise? So you know, you could call it "Training" and technically not be incorrect!

21. It's official: You dig Giant Robots, I dig Giant Robots, We dig Giant Robots! How do I know? Because of this next Pokemon, Golurk! But with Golurk being that big it's only fair their heart is sized to match. And at a 51.3% Smash rating, it's clear this Golurk isn't just for show.

22. Everybody crazy about a Sharp Dressed Man, so of course it stands to reason that Bisharp would make the list! Ranking at a 53.6% Smash rating, it’s obvious Bisharp is the Sharpest Dressed Pokemon of all.

23. Normally, with this Pokemon, there's a certain image that comes with saying they eat everything. But for many of y'all, I think Hydreigon's gonna be doing a different kind of eating. But hey, three mouths! That 61.5% Smash rating agrees with me there.

24. This next one, holy shit I actually had to keep checking over the poll period because this is the closest to a tie we've had since Persian! But it seems the sun has finally risen on this one's victory... Wait, that's not the sun, it's said victor, Volcarona! Coming in with a 50.2% Smash rating! Their smashability shines as brightly as they do, it seems.

25. With steely gaze, a heart of justice, and several literary references to The Three Musketeers, We move on to our first Gen V Legendary, Cobalion! Achieving a 50.4% Smash rating, Cobalion surely has some of the romance of the Original Three Musketeers in them.

26. But if you know The Three Musketeers, you likely know Athos (whom Cobalion is the closest equivalent to) was never the lady killer of the group. Who was, the uninitiated among you may ask? Well, that would be Aramis, whom Virizion stands in for! And indeed, Virizion seems to have definitely inherited the casanova trait from their literary inspiration, if that impressive 62% Smash rating is any indication!

27. And with this next one, the truth is obvious: Reshiram is Smashable! 69.9% Smashable, to be precise! But it's no surprise, this white dragon has much to offer, such as luxurious fur and a willingness to stand by their partner! Also this official trading card that gives them Bishōnen vibes.

28. But we can't have just Reshiram, we need to have their counterpart so as to maintain an ideal balance! Thankfully, we do! Zekrom has also made the list with a fine 68.4% Smash rating! Thus we do have both Yin and Yang here in the Sultans.

29. Did you know there's a term for a void of sorts relating to yin and yang? It's wuji, an absence of either element. And boy howdy do we have a Pokemon for that in Kyurem! That said, Kyurem is another case of "Only the Alternate Forms make it in". White Kyurem gets in with a 56.3% Smash rating, and Black Kyurem gets in with a 52.7% Smash rating. Still, it's good to know there's at least one form of Kyurem that won't leave you with a void in your heart.

30. And last but certainly not least, we have the final Sultan of Smash in Gen V, Meloetta the Mythical Muse! She dances! She Sings! She achieves a 66% Smash rating in Aria Forme and a 61.3% Smash rating in Pirouette Forme! She does it all for the joy of the people. Though we do still have one question regarding Meloetta... Will they ever bring back the mentions of her supposed red shoes she was mentioned to have lost in Gen V? We may never know...

And so, it is time to close the book on the Gen V Who's Who of Smashing. Having brought ourselves to an impressive total of 118 Sultans of Smash, I must say to keep a close eye on this blog, because Gen VI's list will hit sooner than you think!

#pokemon #pokémon #smash or pass #summary #The Pokemon Sultans of Smash

[jacksgreysays]

For "Hail to the Queen: She Who Leads The Armies", you could make it early on (leading a ROOT rebellion against Danzo) or very late (leading the survivors of earlier attempts to kill/seal Kaguya to victory).

The first option would be kind of like her toppling the traitor, but it could be done in an interesting way if Danzo nabbed Shikako for ROOT without permission

The second option would be really interesting to me because I don't think she'd lead the initial strike. That would probably be the Kages or Naruto or something. No, she would only lead if she felt she had to.

Hi aryaokayfriend, thanks for the ideas, I definitely had a lot of fun playing with them!

To begin, like with many things, I didn’t actually consume Shippuden so I only know a vague idea of what was going on with the multinational coalition against Kaguya, but to be fair it’s not as if that’s stopped me before, lol.

My immediate thought for the first option might be too similar to She Who Kills The Kingslayer because it went as such:

If this is a ROOT!Shikako (either fully stolen to be a ground soldier or a more subtle “still get to keep her name, possible successor” type of thing) then the most opportune time to take out Danzo would be in the absolute chaos that is the Sound-Sand Invasion during the Konoha Chuunin Exams

Unsure if this is canon or not, but didn’t Danzo have ROOT stand down during the invasion rather than have them, you know, help/defend the village?

ROOT!Shikako kills Danzo in a plausible deniability type of way and seizes control of ROOT for herself so that she can get them involved in the defense of the village.

If we want to go with that slight morbid/absurdist humor that is endemic to ROOT!Shikako, her thought process could be: 1) there’s a giant snake/bijuu outside the village. 2) in my mission history, explosions are good at removing threats/obstacles. 3) the largest explosion I have immediate access to is the one that triggers upon Danzo’s death. 4) Danzo has repeatedly stated that the greatest honor/duty of a loyal/perfect shinobi is to die in defense of Konoha. 5) Surely Danzo is a loyal/perfect shinobi and would want to die in defense of Konoha? => In conclusion, I should kill Danzo in order to set off a giant explosion to attack the giant snake/bijuu because it’s what he would want.

But, again, that’s running a little too close to She Who Kills The Kingslayer maybe and has less to do with the leading of the ROOT forces and more to do with the coup against Danzo which in itself also similar to She Who Ousts The Traitor…

So let’s see… the co-opting of ROOT forces could also happen without the KCE and without defeating Danzo first… OOH, okay, I have been reading a lot of Clone Wars fic lately, one of which is Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi in which, you know, it’s in the title. But basically if the ROOT secrecy seal worked more like the order chips in the clones and Shikako as, you know, a seal master can interface with it.

It might be something like she hasn’t yet figured out how to remove it without killing the ROOT agents or without tipping off Danzo that someone is removing seals since she’d only really be able to do it one by one (and, hey, guess who would be suspect number one and would have to deal with even more assassination attempts). But what she CAN do is essentially “reassign” who the “Admin” is such that Danzo no longer has access to the seal—especially the obedience forcing part—although he can still order them normally (and depending on how loyal/afraid/groomed the ROOT agent is, they may still obey even without the seal MAKING them) and/or use his Sharingan.

So she does have an army but it’s… pretty bad…. ethically… seeing as how she’s essentially exploiting a slavery seal for herself O_O

Okay, pivot, how do we salvage this?

In a similar co-opting of a seal that has an in-built obedience aspect but in a less problematic way—and this one maybe fits option two a little better—what if she hijacks the Edo Tensei?

And, so that it avoids being exploitative on Shikako’s end, what if by freeing the zombies they don’t necessarily have to obey Shikako in a brainwash-y kind of way but more in a summoning contract/genie wish type of way. Like a reverse of Freedom’s Just Another Word in which Zabuza is extremely haunted and the reason why his actions don’t make sense is because in order for each of his ghosts to move on he has to complete a task for each of them and there’s like… 29 different ghosts with 29 different motivations so...

In this case, Shikako removes the obedience part of the Edo Tensei but in order for them to get to go back to the Pure Lands they have to do one task for Shikako. And, well, depending on how bleak the situation is in the war against Kaguya or Madara or… whoever… she may use them as an immortal army against the big bad…

BUT it’d also be pretty funny if there’s just SO MANY of them that she makes them do menial tasks or, like, her paperwork and honestly they may just make her Hokage for a week so that she can have the Edo Tensei zombies do all the backed up paperwork and then she can hand it back to the real Hokage. So Kakashi technically makes her Nanadaime for a week, she makes the zombies do a bunch of rebuilding and paperwork and relatively benign tasks, and then she either passes it back to Kakashi or onwards to Naruto.

But back to the serious version of this. It could very well be a Return of the King moment in which the Elemental coalition is absolutely getting their asses kicked and Shikako’s like: stall for an hour, I have an idea, and then she breaks the obedience part of the Edo Tensei and now she’s got a ghost/zombie army. And, well, like in Return of the King how do you see that and NOT give that person some kind of extreme leadership role?

#jacksgreyson #aryaokayfriend #prompt response #asks #answers #brainstorm #fanfiction #dreaming of sunshine #hail to the queen #shikako nara #danzo shimura

[filipfuckingtelford]

Aim for the head Part 2

Part two of my crossover imagine. It is a bit more rough than the previous part, so be ready for death scenes or do not read.

Feel free to comment. Hope you enjoy.

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

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Chibs was trying to find any way to escape this trap; he looked around but couldn’t see anything but the empties. Those creatures seemed to fill any available space around, soon both Y/N and Filip could hardly move at all, he felt her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, she was making sure they at least stay close. And what was even worse - the blood and guts on them started to dry out, and Chibs didn’t know how long their disguise would last. He saw panic in Y/N’s eyes as he looked down at her, and he knew it was time for him to be strong. Somehow the responsibility for this lass made Chibs calm down and think straight.

Telford managed to slowly rise his arm up; he hoped that Tig and Juice on the tower could notice it. They probably did, because Chibs saw that they were watching him now carefully. Not much he could show with only one hand. But he pointed at his friends, then he moved his hand away towards another watchtower and showed a move, he hoped could be understood as shooting the gun. “Come on, brothers… please understand me” he thought to himself, while looking into Y/N’s eyes and gave her a soft smile.

"It would be okay, lass" he said with his lips only and she nodded unsure.

If only he knew how much time left for them to stay safe in this sea of empties… Chibs looked up again only to see Juice treading slowly and carefully by the edge of the wall towards the tower on another side of the territory. Telford closed his eyes, praying for Ortiz to hurry up. He felt the crust of blood on his face getting drier and the scent, this awful smell, fading away.

Neither Y/N nor Chibs could tell how long they were standing like that surrounded by the empties. There were so many of them and they were so close, Chibs could feel the quiet groans right next to his ear. It was so disgusting, so frightening, he had to put an effort to keep standing still. Suddenly they heard a sound. Long-awaited, beautiful sound of the gunshot. The sea of the empties began to roil around them, moving towards the new source of noise. The crowd around was so dense, it could easily drag Y/N and Chibs with it towards the other end of the yard, but Filip manages to grab the edge of the metal door of some building next to them. He pressed Y/N closer to himself and closed his eyes. Their lives now depended on his strength, and he was determined to hold on the place no matter what it takes.

New waves of the empties kept following one by one, creatures were crawling slowly, hitting each others, hitting Chibs and Y/N, Filip felt the edge of the metal sheet digging into his skin, but kept gripping it with all of his strength. He didn’t even notice when the concentration of the monsters around reduced. It was Y/N who slightly pulled him away from their spot, so Chibs opened his eyes and followed. They made their way towards the ladder, only several meters. They were so close to the safety and couldn’t reach it. Now finally they were able to climb up to the watch tower. Chibs let Y/N go first and followed her. His hand was so tired he could barely grab the rungs of the ladder, but he finally got on top and laid down breathing hard, while Y/N was sitting next to him, trying to catch her breath. When Chibs finally stood up, he gripped the collar of Laroy’s shirt and looked him in the eyes.

"If ya ever again put any of ma brothas or Y/N especially to risk, I woulda rip the heart outta yer, ya got me?" He groaned and his accent was thick with rage. Laroy nodded quietly. He looked guilty and worried, but Chibs just needed to take it out on someone.

He nodded as well and let go off the 9er, then he turned to Y/N, who stood up as well and was now watching Juice coming back.

"You’re alright, lass?" Telford asked, his voice was now quiet and tender

"I’m fine, Filip." She nodded, giving him weak smile. "Thank you. You saved us. I was so scared, couldn’t think of any way to escape."

Chibs felt warmth spreading inside his chest and took his eyes off of Y/N, as it was hard for him right now to hide his feelings. He distracted himself with Juice coming back safely. Now it was time to come back home. They all needed rest and they, Chibs and Y/N needed good shower and new clothes.

"Let’s get back home. I’m afraid we need to deal with those empties around our bikes." Tig said and started climbing down the wall.

Everyone followed, and soon all five of them were standing on the street, watching new group of empties lurking around their bikes. There was no surprise; Sons saw it many times before. If you drive your bike somewhere it will attract some monsters.

"I’ll take those on the right. You take the others." Y/N was again confident and calm as if she didn’t almost die half an hour before.

She headed to the closest empty, standing on the right side of the road, swaying slightly. As it noticed Y/N it began to walk clumsy but fast towards her and Chibs even raised his gun to protect her. But with one accurate move of her knife Y/N pierced monster’s head and not even looking on its body, made her way towards the next one. Filip sighed and aimed for the head of the empty not far from him. Tig and Juice followed his lead and soon the street was secured. Those bastards were no threat on the open space. When you have a gun the empty might not even notice you before it dies.

"Let’s get back home, brothers." Chibs got on his bike and waited Y/N to sit behind him. Her warm gentle arms wrapped around his waist again making him sigh. It felt so good he couldn’t help enjoying the feeling even in these circumstances.

"Gladly!" Juice smiled, allowing Laroy to sit behind him.

Engines roared again, attracting another bunch of dumb dead bastards to the street already covered with dead empties. Sons drove fast, everyone wanted to get back home to safety. Everyone was still under impression of the whole 9ers base turned into hell on earth. They got back to the club house in no time. Several gun shots followed as their bikes appeared on the street, their brothers were killing creatures gathered around the gates.

"Fucking shit, what happened?!" – Clay exclaimed as Chibs parked his bike and helped Y/N to get off it.

"Niners base is crowded with empties. Only Laroy survived." Chibs answered "We had to go through the crowd of those creatures to save him. Y/N knows how to do it. We all should learn this method."

As they made their way inside the club house, Chibs told everything except for the accident that happened because of the 9er. He was pretty sure, if Clay finds out Laroy had put his daughter to danger, poor guy would end up alone on the street.

"You guys should take shower, change your clothes and have a good rest." Clay stated when Chibs finished his story. They were sitting around the table again, all the club members gathered to listen. "We know now what happened; I’ll send a note to Alvarez. We should always remember how dangerous it might be to hide a bite from others… We already had an issue with it and I hope none of you would ever try to save his ass sacrificing our shelter safety."

Everyone was silent. Everyone understood what Clay tried to say and had no objections. Soon everyone got back to their daily activities and Chibs went to his dorm to take shower. It was a great luck for Sons to build a water supply for their safe house in the first weeks of the apocalypse, they could find all the needed materials and a spare generator in the hardware store in their part of the town. Now they had no need to care about water.

Chibs turned the shower on and stepped under the jets of water, closing his eyes and allowing himself to drift away in his thoughts. He was recalling every moment of today’s adventure, but not about the empties around but about Y/N, her being so close to him, her arms around him, her fingers gripping his leather on the back. If not an army of the living dead around them it could’ve been the most precious moment for Chibs. And now that he knew how her little body felt pressed against him, how if was to hold her close, he couldn’t get it out of his mind. And still Chibs couldn’t allow himself to even dream of having her to himself. So he had to hide these thoughts deep into his heart again.

Half an hour later Chibs was outside on the parking lot, cleaning the seat and wheels of his bike from the guts and blood. He couldn’t allow it to stay on his Harley longer than on his own skin.

"You need help, Filip?" Y/N approached him unnoticed and made him jump. She laughed quietly "Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you"

"That’s file, lass" – Chibs smiled back at her and lit his cigarette, distracting from work "I’m mostly done here, but thank you"

"How do you feel after our little adventure?" She asked and looked carefully at his hand. The mark on his palms was still visible, with some small cuts along it "You hurt your palm… I can take a look on it or ask Tara"

"No, lass, I’m fine, don’t worry" Chibs shook his head "It’s just a scratch, nothing serious"

"I wanted to thank you… If not you, your plan and your strength, we would probably die there…" Y/N stepped closer to him and touched his hand with her fingers

"We wouldn’t have been able to save Laroy if not you, so I’d say we were a great team" Chibs laughed, but hardly stopped himself from catching her fingers when she let go of his hand

"Right!" Y/N smiled but then became serious. "Tell me about Kozik"

"Kozik, eh…" Chibs frowned. He didn’t want to talk about what happened, but couldn’t refuse her. "Let me finish with my bike and I’ll tell you everything. You can get us some scotch meanwhile, I think we deserve it"

"I’ll be on the roof" Y/N nodded and headed back inside.

Chibs watched her leaving and looked at his palm where her fingers were just a few minutes ago. Clenching his fist, he got back to his work. Soon his Harley was shining as a new one and Filip went to his room to wash his hands.

"We have to burn this place! We can’t leave it like that!" Telford heard Jax’s voice from the kitchen, as he headed towards the staircase.

"What if the fire spread to other buildings around their base?" Bobby replied "We need to think it over carefully"

Chibs continued his way. He knew that club now needed to decide how to deal with the 9ers base, but for now he needed to have some rest, leaving all of the future issues for tomorrow. He got out on the roof and looked around. It was Y/N’s favorite place in the whole club house even before she left to San Francisco and now she was still true to her habit. She was sitting on the blanket, bottle of scotch beside her as promised. Chibs couldn’t help but smile, approaching her.

"Hey, lass" He sat down next to her and lit a cigarette, looking at the streets of Charming, small figures moving slowly along them or staying still in the middle of the road. Peaceful sight, if you don’t know what these figures were.

"Hey" Y/N replied and opened the bottle. She took a sip and passed it to Chibs. Then she demanded again "Tell me what happened to Kozik"

"Right… - Chibs sighed and took a sip as well" It was in the first weeks after it all started. Kozik, Tig and me, we were out for supplies as usual.

"Wait, wait. First of all… Who this Kozik was?" Y/N stopped him and Chibs realized she left before Kozik had joined them.

"Sure… He was from Tacoma chapter. Visited us couple of times before and when it all began he was here with us, so he stayed" Chibs explained and when Y/N nodded, he continued. "So we were out. I don’t remember what place it was, probably some grocery or whatever… We’ve been scavenging every place we could, gathering everything that could be useful. Long story short, Herman was attacked but succeeded to kill the bastard fast. The bite seemed so small, we wanted to believe it was not a big deal. So we…"

"You came back to the club house with him?" Y/N asked when Chibs paused. She saw he felt guilty for what happened somehow.

"Aye. It was my decision…" Chibs sighed and took a big gulp from the bottle. "Everyone supported it when we came back, but still. So as you might guess, he turned. Within an hour after we came back. We thought that those who were bitten turn very fast; we saw it on the streets in the first days. And I didn’t even think about the first empty I met. He came to St. Thomas an hour and a half after he was attacked and still was human. But I forgot about it completely"

There was silence for couple of moments. Chibs seemed to be drifted away in his thoughts and Y/N wanted to give him some time. He took a drag on his cigarette and let the smoke out in the air watching it fade away.

"He turned when Abel was around" Filip suddenly said and Y/N covered his palm with hers, squeezing it gently. "He… It tried to attack the boy. But Piney was there as well. He distracted it from Abel and was attacked instead. By the time we came for the noise, poor Piney was dead. I shot them both. Guys kept saying they don’t blame me. But I know it was my fault. I decided to let Kozik back in. I just… I couldn’t just shot him"

Last words were almost silent. Chibs gripped Y/N hand as if he was looking for something to hold on. He was shivering slightly and couldn’t calm down. It was too hard for him, this guilt could be put away but was never gone.

"It’s not your fault, Filip" Y/N said quietly after several moments. "When it all began we all were just learning how to deal with it. He was your friend. You needed to try. Don’t blame yourself. You built this wonderful safe place for so many people, saved them, protected them, risking your lives to keep them fed and have everything they need"

"You’re right, lass. But still Piney died because of me. Abel could die" Chibs sighed, but looked at Y/N and smiled at her slightly. She couldn’t take the pane away, but ease it – absolutely. And she did.

"Thank you for telling me. And I’m sorry you had to live through it again. " She said quietly "Let’s just sit here for awhile and have some rest"

Chibs nodded, lying down on the blanket, palms under his head, looking at the sky. Soon Y/N joined.

"Sky is the only thing that didn’t change" She whispered

"Aye… no matter what happens down here, sky is still beautiful. Maybe heaven is still up there…"

"And hell is now on earth"

Next morning when Chibs was sitting at the table, sipping coffee and smoking, Sons started gathering one by one. Telford knew it was for the 9ers base discussion. He joined his brothers soon and took his place. Everyone was tensed, thinking about what happened to that gang.

"Alvarez sent a note to us. He would help with any supplies we might need to deal with those bastards, but he doesn’t have many people at the moment, they had a bad fight with a huge bunch of empties recently, several memners are gone" Clay said, looking at his brothers "So what we need to do now, is to decide how to eliminate those empties. The easiest way seems to shoot them one by one from the wall, but we don’t want to waste so many bullets. So I need you to think of other options"

"Burn them down" Jax stated as soon as Clay stopped his speech.

"Too dangerous, I’ve told you" Bobby replied, and Chibs knew they had the same argue yesterday. "They have wooden fence, they have a lot of trees and buildings around their base. Fire can spread unpredictably! You can’t risk to burn all Charming"

"And we might need some stuff they have in their storages" Chibs supported Bobby. "Maybe we can open the gate, drive in and smash them with couple of cars?"

"Not a bad idea" Clay frowned "But might be trapped in those cars. 9ers had the biggest shelter of our three, by what you said there are probably around a hundred of them if not more"

"Right…" Chibs nodded.

"We can get inside covered in their guts and kill them one by one with knives" Happy suggested and it was obvious he loves the idea.

"Yeah, but we don’t how they would react to it. Chibs and Y/N moved slowly and didn’t make any noise" Juice mentioned. "What if we open the gate a bit and let them out one by one and kill them one by one? Unlike ours, niners’ gate has just one wing"

"That might work" Clay looked at him serious. "But again, there are so many of them. They might just open the gate with their common power and spread all over the streets"

"But we can use a car to hold the gate. Load it with some heavy shit!" Chibs liked the idea Juice suggested. It was a good plan to control the flow of the empties and meet them with knives.

"Sound like a plan. Let’s see. We need a driver in the car. We need three people to be killing empties and couple of people to watch their backs to take down bastards that might be attracted by the car. So we need pretty much everyone to go. And someone to stay here just in case" Clay seemed to accept this idea.

"I’d say we need the same team as yesterday and three more" Chibs stated and Clay looked at him surprised.

"You mean Y/N should go too?" He asked.

"Aye. No one can kill those bastards with a knife as good as her. I’ve seen it yesterday" Chibs nodded. "Hap would be good in it as well I guess. And I will learn"

"Right" Clay nodded "Tig, can you be our driver? And Juice with Ratboy and Miles would cover your backs. Meanwhile Jax, Bobby and I would stay here and take our places on the watchtowers. Everyone agree?"

Club voted. Everyone supported the idea and the plan. They just needed some time for the preparations – to upgrade one of the vans with the metal carcass to make it heavy enough. Chibs also insisted to have several lessons with Y/N on how to kill empties with a knife. He offered Happy to join, but Lowman said he’s fine.

"Quite a good plan you have" Y/N said that afternoon when Chibs and her were walking down the street looking for empties to kill.

"It was Juices’ idea" Chibs nodded, following her and looking around. He had a big knife in his hand, the one Happy lend him, from his waste collection.

"To control how many crawlers come from the gates is sufficient, so Tig should be very concentrated" Y/N noticed and stopped, pointing on the empty in front of them "Now. You come closer to it as quiet as possible, but it will notice you soon, so be ready to hit. Knife if long enough, so don’t wait too long. As it approaches, hit it like this or like that"

She showed two fast moves – one from the top down, to pierce the head and another one from left to right, to cut its head. "Both ways are good, from the bottom up as well, so just try and see what’s more comfortable for you and easier at the moment. I’ll shoot it if you don’t succeed" Y/N took her gun out and looked at Chibs. "Be careful please"

Chibs nodded and began to walk slowly and quietly towards the empty which was standing in the middle of the street, swaying slightly. Many others were inside every building; Chibs knew it, luckily during the day they preferred to stay inside, going out for food only in the darkness. But any noise could attract them as well, so he really needed to be as quiet as possible. The monster finally noticed human and groaned quietly, then moved towards Filip quite fast. But Chibs was ready, he stopped and squeezed the knife tight preparing to hit. The empty stretched its arms forward, as it came closer to Chibs, trying to grab him, his head only fifty centimeters away from Telford. Chibs couldn’t rise his hand up, so he hit from the bottom and pierced creature’s chin with the knife. An awful crack and squishing sound followed as the blade got inside of the dead head. The empty became flabby and stopped moving. Chibs pulled the knife out of its head, allowing the lifeless body to fall on the ground and looked around at Y/N who was watching him. She raised her thumb and smiled approaching him fast.

"Good gob. But don’t let it get this close. It almost grabbed you" Y/N said, as they continued walking.

"Next time I’ll try to meet it with the hit, not wait until it comes closer" He nodded, wiping blood off the blade.

They turned the corner and saw several empties walking their way. Chibs looked at Y/N question in his eyes and she nodded.

"This would be a good training. When we’ll be killing crawlers at niners base, there would be plenty around" Y/N said "I’ll stay close and help if you will need it"

Chibs nodded and headed towards the empties, which already spotted them and now fastened their moves. Y/N followed, ready to fight, but allowing Chibs to lead. He was moving fast, going wide right to give those creatures no chance to surround him. First hit and the head of the empty rolled down the road, next one, and the lifeless body falls down. One by one Chibs was taking empties down and he loved the feeling. He was venting his rage on those monsters, rage that was boiling in him since the first day of the apocalypse. Rage that was caused by those empties. Killing them with a bullet wasn’t that good, and now he could actually feel he’s taking their useless lives with his own hands.

Y/N was just watching him, ready to assist any moment, but Chibs obviously didn’t need any help. He seemed to know what to do, and enjoyed the process. Y/N understood him, she remembered how good it was to kill the first crawler on her own. That bastard almost got her, but she succeeded to grab poker and kill the monster. It was on the first week of her journey, when she stopped to look for food in some abandoned house. She soon found out that the house wasn’t abandoned; its owner just turned to a crawler and was now standing in the living room. When Y/N entered the room she saw him and wanted to run away, but it rushed to her with an unexpected agility and they both fell on the floor. Y/N pressed her knees to monster’s chest, preventing him from biting her and was looking around in panic, trying to find any weapon, anything to protect herself. And she saw the poker beside the fire place. She stretched her arm and her body as much as she could and somehow managed to grab the weapon. It easily pierces rotten flesh and entered the brain of the crawler, making it fall on the side. Y/N remembered that moment as if it was yesterday. And the pleasure she felt when the motherfucker fell down lifeless.

Chibs, meanwhile, was standing nearby, breathing hard, covered in blood of the empties that were now lying on the ground. He killed every single one of them and was now taking some rest. Y/N looked at him and smiled.

"Great job, Filip!" She came closer and looked into his eyes.

"Thanks, lass… It was kinda fun" He replied, smiling back at her. Adrenaline was making his blood boil and he was hardly stopping himself from wrapping his arms around her, pulling her closer "I… Well, I think I’m ready to kill those rotten niners"

"Let’s get back to the clubhouse then. Mom would be grumbling again if we’re late for the dinner" Y/N went back towards their shelter and Chibs followed her.

"Can I ask you something?” Chibs mumbled when they were waiting for gates to open.

“Sure, what is it?” Y/N looked up at him curious.

“Why do you call me Filip?” He wasn’t sure if it was good to ask but he wanted to know. He was so used to hear “Chibs” from everyone that hearing his real name from her made his heart miss a beat every time.

“Well… It’s your name, isn’t it?” Y/N replied, smiling slightly.

“Aye… But everyone calls me Chibs, so I’m just curious why…” He couldn’t finish his question as the gates opened and they entered the territory, and Chibs didn’t want anyone to hear them.

“I just love how it sounds. Filip” Y/N winked at him and headed towards Gemma who was now setting the big table in the yard for the dinner. It was Clay’s birthday, so club decided to have a party.

Chibs froze in his tracks for couple of moments, trying to figure out what that could mean, but couldn’t find any reason to believe it meant anything else than just a slight teasing Y/N was giving him. So he just made his way inside, took a bottle of beer for himself and sat by the bar counter.

“Chibby, you’re okay?” Jax approached him and sat down next to his brother.

“Aye… Why?”Filip looked at him confused. He was so deep in his thoughts that barely noticed Jax coming.

“I just asked if you’re going to join everyone at the table and you didn’t react. So I thought something happened” Jax shrugged and took beer from Chibs, made a gulp.

“Nah, I was just thinking about our mission with niners base” Chibs lied easily, not looking at Jax. “Let’s go join the others. Don’t want to be late for Clay’s party” He stood up and headed outside where everyone was gathering around the table. Jaxon followed him, frowned, he seemed to see something was wrong with his friend but didn’t want to insist just yet.

 Gemma made amazing dinner, it was almost like in the old peaceful days. And the party was big and fun, everyone was laughing, telling stories, everyone needed this to feel as if nothing happened, as if the world was still normal. After meal people went inside, turned the music on and started drinking, playing pool and dancing, just having fun. Chibs took his favorite spot at the bar counter, leaned his back against it and was watching the crowd around, when Y/N exited her room, wearing tight short dress and high hills. He was so used to see her wearing military clothes that this sight made him gasp, gripping the glass of scotch with his fingers. It was too much. She was gorgeous, perfect, so damn hot. And he could only look at her, nothing more.

Y/N joined other women on the dance floor, her hips were slowly swaying, her arms raising up and moving down her body, she seemed to melt in the music and her dance and Chibs couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He emptied his glass and poured more scotch to himself, trying to calm his nerves. But he couldn’t. All Filip could think of now was Y/N, and the pictures his mind was showing to him, the fantasies so real, slowly drove him crazy.

As another song ended, Y/N left the dance floor and approached the bar, her breath heavy after dancing, her eyes shining with happiness. She grabbed a beer for herself and sat next to Chibs, her dress slipped up a bit, revealing more of her thighs to his sight.

“Having fun, lass?” Chibs asked, his voice low and the accent thick. He forced himself to stop staring at her and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Yeah. I do, I haven’t dance in ages and it’s amazing” Y/N seemed to not even notice that something was going on with Chibs.

He nodded, unable to find any word to say. He needed to do something to himself, to take back control of his mind and body. It was too hard for him to stay away from this woman. He was head over heels in love with her and couldn’t help it, but he also knew he can’t allow himself to let his feelings out. And he couldn’t bare the hurt it brought him to know she would never be with him, no matter how much he needed her in his life.

“I’ll go release Ratboy from his duty. It’s not fair he can’t join the party” Chibs finally stated “Have fun, lass. You deserve it”

He forced himself to smile at her and headed outside fast, not leaving her any chance to stop him even if she wanted to. Filip climbed up the watch tower where Ratboy was staying for club’s safety.

“Hey, brother. Go inside, have fun, I’ll stay here instead of you” Chibs gave him a slight smack on the shoulder and smiled, though it was hard for him to pretend careless.

“Chibs, thank you! Thank you!” Ratboy couldn’t find any other words and just hurried to join the party, leaving Filip alone in the darkness. And that was what Chibs needed now.

He leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette, passed his hand over his face and sighed heavily. It was too hard, being around Y/N every day, hiding his feelings, pretending he’s alright. He wasn’t alright, he never felt so lonely before, not even when he left Belfast and moved to Charming where he barely knew anyone. Chibs needed to find a way to put himself together. He needed to stay strong and reasonable enough to protect his brothers and everyone who lived in this safe house. The best way was probably to concentrate on rides and outings, to get distracted from his thoughts as much as possible. And now he was just going to spend this night on the watch tower, guarding the club’s safety.

In couple of days the preparations were over, the van had now a metal carcass and bags with sand on its roof; it was now heavy enough to hold the gate of the 9ers base. So in the morning Chibs, Y/N, Tig, Juice, Happy, Ratboy and Miles were ready to go. They had a plan and were determined to eliminate every empty in the area. And probably find some good supplies in the storehouses. 9ers had a lot of people, so they needed lots of food and other stuff for everyone.

“We’re ready?” Chibs asked as they got into the van and Tig took his place on the driver’s seat. As everyone nodded, he hit the wall to give Tig a sign to go.

The engine roared and gates opened. Van was moving way slower than bikes, especially now when it was heavy. So it took about an hour for the team to reach the 9ers base again. Tig stopped near the gates and gave a signal to his friends inside. Everyone exited the car and looked around, taking their time to let eyes get comfortable on the light.

“So, I guess, we can start?” Chibs looked at others, taking his knife out. He looked at Tig who was still in the car and Trager nodded to his brother, making him know he was ready. Others took their guns and knives out as well, Juice, Ratboy and Miles went further from the base, to take their places and meet any possible enemy, while Y/N, Chibs and Happy gathered near the gates.

“I will open it a bit and join you” Happy said and as Chibs and Y/N stepped away slightly, he pulled the gate wing with a bit of an effort. It opened a bit, leaving a meter gap. Happy looked inside, saw the empties and yelled “Hey, bastards, come get me!”

Then he joined Chibs and Y/N as the monsters moved towards the exit and started appearing one by one. Now it all depended on three of them. While Tig pressed the gate wing with the van, leaving empties no option to open it wider, and while Miles, Juice and Ratboy were covering their backs, the rest of the team stepped closer to empties and started attacking them. Lifeless bodies were falling on the ground, heads were rolling next to them, and soon all three of them were covered in blood but didn’t stop for a single moment.  In about half an hour the pile of bodies at the entrance grew so big, the empties which were still inside couldn’t exit. So Chibs had to give Tig a sign to close the gates.

“We should probably pull those rotten bastards away from the gate to make room for the rest of them” Chibs stated and grabbed one of the bodies. It took them another half an hour to move every body away and clean the space for the next bunch of empties.

They heard gun shots from behind. Chibs looked around and saw several monsters walking towards their spot, but Juice, Miles and Ratboy took care of them fast. So the work continued, Tig drove away slightly and the empties began to walk again, one by one, hitting each other, falling down and finally being killed by the blade. Filip felt his hand tired but didn’t stop, he had no time to check on the others, but they were probably fine as well. It was a very satisfying but tiring process, and there seemed no end. They had to repeat the process several more times before the territory of the 9ers base was finally cleared.

“Jesus Christ” Chibs muttered as they were finally done, he sat on the ground and took a big gulp of water from the flusk. Y/N and Happy sat next to him, breathing heavily. And now they had to scavenge the territory as well.

“We can have some rest, but we need to hurry” Y/N said, looking up at the sky “We probably have three or four hours before it gets dark”

Chibs nodded. He knew she was right, but needed just some more time to give rest to his tired muscles. Happy laid down on the grass and smiled.

“That was awesome” He stated.

“You’re sick motherfucker” Tig laughed, he just left the car to check on his friends.

“I didn’t think I would ever hear those words from you, not about you, Tiggy” Y/N smirked gently, looking up at Trager. Everyone laughed, even Tig himself. He knew what reputation he had and didn’t mind being teased.

“Okay, guys. Let’s search for something useful and get back home” Chibs finally said, standing up. “But don’t get too comfortable, there might be some other empties inside of the buildings”

Happy stayed by the van on guard and the others took big sport bags from the car and entered the 9ers territory. It seemed completely empty, but Chibs was right, some bastards might’ve been hiding in the darkness of houses. So everyone was walking carefully, looking around. Laroy made a map of the base for them, so they knew exactly where to look for supplies. The team divided into pairs. Tig and Y/N went to the kitchen to check on the grocery supplies, Juice and Chibs headed towards the garage to see if any materials and tools could come in handy for the club needs, and Miles with Ratboy decided to check the living area.

“Can’t believe you grew up so fast and became so strong and badass, princess” Tig notices as they were walking towards the building. He remembered her being a child and now Y/N was the full member of the team unlike other women around the club.

“I had to… My uncle Tiggy wasn’t around to protect me” She laughed, teasing him slightly.

They entered the kitchen, armed, ready to meet an empty, but no one seemed to be around. While Y/N was checking the doors to be sure they are safe, Tig started opening fridges and closets, and putting everything edible into his bag. Y/N joined him soon as the kitchen was really empty and they had nothing to worry about.

Suddenly, they heard a scream from the yard and rushed outside to see what was going on. The scene they saw was blood chilling. Miles was running away from one of the houses, followed by the empty. Not the usual slow bastard, this one was different. It was moving faster than a human can move, running on all fours like some kind of an animal. Ratboy was trying to shoot it, but couldn’t aim. And the empty was now catching up on Miles. Chibs and Juice appeared from the garage as well and were also trying to aim the bastard, as well as Tig. But they just couldn’t succeed. With one long leap the empty hit Miles on the ground piling on him and next moment its teeth were already ripping poor guy’s neck. Only then could Ratboy, who was closer to them, shoot the monster.

Everyone rushed towards Miles, and he was lying on his back, crying and trying to stop the bleeding. Chibs kneeled beside him, took bandana off his wrist and pressed it to Miles’s neck.

“Hold on, boy, you’re gonna be okay” – Chibs mumbled quietly, even though everyone understood, he won’t. Blood quickly soaked the fabric and was now making a puddle under poor guy’s head. He was trying to say something, gripping Chibs’ hands, but couldn’t pronounce a word, only quiet groans escaping his mouth. Soon he froze, his eyes rolled. Chibs stood up slowly, wiping blood off his palms and took his gun out. “I’m sorry, brother” He whispered, pulling the trigger.

Everyone was silent for several minutes, just looking at their friend’s body on the ground that now had a small hole in his forehead. At least they made sure he won’t ever become one of the empties.

“He just opened the door and this… this…” Ratboy was shaking, he saw the moment this creature appeared and was now trying to explain others what happened. “It jumped out of the house so fast, I couldn’t do anything… I couldn’t aim, it was so fast… I just…”

Y/N hugged Ratboy tight to make him calm down a bit, while others gathered around the creature’s body. Sons had seen such an empties before, but from afar and never had to face it so close. This new one was pale, but had redness around its eyes and mouth, its arms and legs were longer than those of the normal human body, it also had claws on its fingers and toes.

“What the fuck is this creature?” Juice turned away, disgusted.

“I think it is some kind of a mutation… And it’s bad.” Chibs shook his head. “Okay, guys, pack up what you managed to find and let’s get back home” Then he lifted Miles from the ground and headed towards the car.

Everyone got back to their bags, packed what they found and loaded the van with supplies. Nobody said anything; they needed some time to come with terms with what happened today. It all started as an interesting adventure, they even had fun and now everything went.  The road back was silent; no one knew how to support each other and was deep in their thoughts.

In the darkness of the van Y/N carefully took Chibs’ hand and squeezed it gently, to support him or to relive her own pain – she didn’t know herself, but feeling him helped her a little. Chibs in his turn was slowly rubbing her palm with his thumb, not even noticing it.   

#sons of anarchy imagine #soa imagine #sons of anarchy #chibs #filip chibs telford #chibs telford #chibs imagine #chibs x reader #tig trager #clay morrow #happy lowman #juice ortiz #crossover #the walking dead

[citrus-blade]

20 questions for Writers thing

I got tagged by the wonderful @mistythedritten! thank you!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

Sixteen! I added like 7 due to the Citrus Dreamnoblade Week lol

2. What is your word count?

250.818! honestly more than I thught lol

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Dream SMP! :] (I used to write for Good Omens on another account a bit ago but have abandoned this lol)

4. What are your top 5 fics? (stats)

I'll go by Kudos! :] Infinitesimal, Home, Treasure, Hiraeth - Part 1 and Chains! :]

5. Do you always respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes when I don't know what to comment and it would just be a 'thank you', that i already wrote 3 times to a different person I won't. usually I try to always bring something unique to a comment to show how much I appreciate them!

However, when someone comments on a fanfiction that has long been finished I usually don't reply cause I'm not sure if that would be seen as weird or not. I'm really insecure when it comes to replying comments cause I don't wanna be annoying

6. Angstiest ending for a fic?

Oof... i think it's Home (but it's more on the bittersweet one) or Time. But if you put them next to each other it's deffo Time. Hubert is also kinda angsty but the story is kinda fast paced that it doesn't feel angsty lol

7. First Fic with a Happy Ending?

Golden! My first ever DNB fic and therefore also the first one with a happy ending! :]

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yeah! That's why I have to agree to comments for them to be public on my fanfictions! It's always anon and usually just people calling me names and slurs, trying to tell me what a horrible person I am lol

Can't really take this serious tbh

9. Do you write smut?

Yes! I really enjoy reading smut and also like writing it! I'm not good in it and I'm always frustrating a bit but I still enjoy it!

10. Do you write crossovers?

Ehhh, not really? But also yes...? I wrote a pokemon crossover, but I don't think that doesn't really count cause it's more an AU and none of the main characters of the anime/games appear except for Team Rocket. I think. I don't remember which villains I took, there are a lot.

I usually don't write crossovers because I'm unsure how good I can represent the other show. I'd love to write a Star Wars one or a Hogwarts one, but I am NOT into those movies and am too scared to write something that doesn't make sense. So usually I try to take apsects of those universes and try to turn it into my own kinda thing.

For example my Dragon Rider-AU that I am working on was supposed to be a Hogwarts AU with magic, but it kinda turned into it's own thing with focus on Dragons but still with magic! :D

11. Ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so? If anyone ever sees any of my fanfictions somewhere that's not AO3 please tell me! But as far as I'm aware none was stolen! :]

12. Ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I think Infinitesimal was started to translate in two languages, but I'm not sure if that's still happening. I know some chapters were uploaded? And apparently someone wanted to translate Apocylapse into russian!

13. Ever co-written?

Nope! Don't really know how that works tbh lol

14. Favorite ship?

Dreamnoblade and DNF!

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but probably never will?

OOF. I have sworn to myself to always finish what I start to write so not sure. Some ideas probably will never happen, but usually when I start writing something I will finish it sooner or later, specially when I started posting it somewhere

16. Writing strenghts?

No clue, I don't know if I have a specific strength. Sometimes I like something I write and then I read it and hate it lol

17. Writing weaknesses?

FIGHT SCENES MY ABSOLUTE ENEMY!!!

18. Thoughts on dialog in another language in a fic?

I write in english but think about including german sometimes lol When Attack on titan can do it in their openings I can do it in my fanfiction! Usually I like it as long as the translation is given atp in the fanfiction! :D

19. First fandom you have written for?

OOF. Eeeehm. I think Good Omens. I orphaned all my stuff there though lol

20. Favorite fic you have written?

Infinitesimal and Home :] (I also like that pokemon one lol)

And that's it! That was fun! :]

I'm too insecure to tag someone so whoever wanna do this, do it! :]

#citrus talks #I love doing stuff like that #it's funny and you get to think a lot about your own writing

[starlitdrearns]

( corteon moore, twenty-six, cis man, he/him ) ☼ i know it’s a small town, but i run into ISAIAH PALMER every time i go to THE MINES. it’s like they practically live there and not THE MOUNTAIN for TWENTY-SIX YEARS. it must be because they’re KINDHEARTED and FOOLHARDY. come to think of it, that’s probably why they’re an MONSTER SLAYER too. but i did hear they want to KEEP THE VALLEY SAFE, and sometimes they like to SCRAPBOOKING. rumor has it they also like STARFRUIT, but dislike TROUT SOUP. what do you think?

QUICK STATS

full name: isaiah palmer

nickname: zay, zaya (no preference on what he's called, he'll pretty much respond to whatever people call him)

age: 26

date of birth: june 13th

gender: cis man

pronouns: he/him

sexuality: bisexual

relationship status: single

place of birth: stardew valley

occupation: monster slayer

positive traits: kindhearted, curious, confident, loyal, honest

negative traits: foolhardy, idealistic, headstrong, self-sacrificing, wistful

alignment: neutral good

aesthetic: rips in your jeans, the scent of mud, an old photo tucked away in your pocket, bright beams of sunlight peeking through the curtains, the tenderness of a newly acquired bruise, the sound of laughter rising above crickets chirping, ignoring the pounding in your chest and ache from the self-imposed weight resting on your shoulders, dust collecting on small trinkets you can't bare to part with

top 5 most played songs: sos - timothy fleet & wayne murray, good old fashioned lover boy - queen, vienna - billy joel, hellmouth - choir boy, my love mine all mine - mitski

top 4 movies on letterboxd (no way does he actually have a letterboxd bc he does not have the patience to fight the valley internet just to upload a film review but anyway !): fantastic mr. fox, chungking express, paddington, the princess bride

BIO

the eldest of two born to a miner and artisan in the valley, isaiah's never known life outside of the small town. though as a rambunctious youngest he had big plans to see what the rest of the world had to offer, he could never untangle his heart enough from his hometown to leave it in the dust.

death tw. that, and any plans for leaving were quickly dashed out around his twelfth birthday when his father didn't return from the mines. overwhelmed by monsters they said, the details were hard for a young boy whose life had drastically changed in an instant to grasp onto. soon after, his mother, younger brother, and him were moved into his grandparents' home where the grieving family could get a little more support.

unbeknownst to the others in the home, isaiah began sneaking out through the window of his shared bedroom most nights to spend his time swinging large sticks at imaginary monsters. too young to maybe fully grasp how ill prepared he would be to venture in the mines alone and unsure how else to cope, he was determined to avenge his father in some way.

unsurprisingly a twelve year old armed with nothing but a wooden toy sword blindly running around the mines was a recipe for disaster. thankfully, large glassy eyes happened upon an actual monster slayer who was able to assist the boy before he received anything more than a few scrapes and bruises. one stern talking to later and isaiah was hauled out of the mines and returned to his family.

the experience hadn't been great, in fact it was downright terrifying until he was saved, but from that moment forward his mind was made up to become just like his hero. many a day he could be found trailing behind said hero, asking a million questions, imitating the way they carried themself, and folding his arms in a defiant pout whenever he had to be stopped from following in somewhere too dangerous for him.

whether it was because they actually saw promise in isaiah or realized there was no getting rid of the determined youngster, they decided to mentor him, much to his delight. if his seriousness in regards to this endeavor wasn't evident before, it certainly was with all the hard work and effort he put into training and learning all there was to learn about the valley's monsters.

he's been a monster slayer ever since he graduated from high school with a focus on keeping whoever goes into the mines, and the valley as a whole, safe from the local monster population.

MISC.

extremely nostalgic and sentimental. whenever he's not overworking himself, you can usually find him documenting precious memories in stacks of scrapbooks, quietly preoccupied with the fear that life will change in an instant again despite his best efforts and he won't have too many things to remember the people he cares about by.

as mentioned above, definitely overworks himself and is usually sporting some sort of minor injury (bruises, scrapes), but will be quick to brush it off or change the subject entirely. honestly hasn't been a huge fan of anyone fussing over him ever since he lost his dad.

a little worried that his confidence makes him come across as showoff-y when it comes to the whole monster slayer thing when he's like "oh no it's definitely not like that :/"

strives to keep his workload and social life balanced, but his social life ultimately gets neglected more often than not. he keeps telling himself he'll change that, especially since he's an extravert and loves having some sort of company, but he has yet to make any real progress on that goal.

an oversimplified summary of him is probably something like "means well, doesn't often go as planned"

not a drinker, but he'll try to swing by the stardrop saloon on fridays before they close (there's a 75% chance he'll lose track of time and won't make it) to try to catch up with people.

not keen on standing still. he's almost always doing something with his hands or bouncing on his feet.

he's super close to his younger brother, but has a somewhat strained relationship with his mom. suffice to say monster slayer wasn't the job she dreamed up for her son, especially after what happened to his dad.

has a hefty collection of records that used to belong to his dad.

CONNECTIONS/PLOTS

older monster slayer/mentor: (i'll probably send in a wc to the main) the person mentioned in his bio ! he'd still look up to them as a mentor and honestly at this point consider them family for some found family vibes.

childhood friends: others around his age that grew up in the valley ! open to any kind of vibes there !

miners: i imagine he's constantly offering to clear out some monsters for them or even offering to stick close to them while they mine so that's all they have to worry about.

fellow monster slayers or adventurers: maybe they can bond over their mutual interests or something ! or maybe there's a rivalry of sorts (would probably be one-sided bc isaiah would be like we're competing ?? hdajskgfs)

honestly anything !! there's a very good chance i'd be down for whatever ideas you might have for our characters <3

#death tw #dew.intro #˖ ࣪ . ࿐ ♡ ˚ . isaiah palmer ⟢ intro #i feel like i'm forgetting things i thought up at 2am so i might add to this later jakfjdsh

[witchlightsands]

vampire academy theories

i have so many thoughts all of the time. book spoilers ahead because i’m basing a little bit of my theorizing over how they may incorporate the book’s storyline. spoilers up to episode 5, the most recent one as of writing this

1) I don’t think victor is going to be evil. They’re working extremely hard to make him a sympathetic character, and its shown he cares for Sonya and for Lissa- I doubt he would allow Lissa to heal him, knowing how important she is to balance in the council, since we know he wont let sonya do it. i also think it would be bad form for peacock to purposefully cast victor as a gay black man and write him as a strong positive influence only to go SIKE BITCHES. that would make me sad.

2) i think jesse is going to turn into a strigoi. his presence wasn’t very important in the books, and thus he’s replaceable or set for a storyline change. he’s also been shown to have a fascination with drinking blood in a way thats different from the other moroi characters, for whom its just part of life, but jesse actively enjoys it and seeks it out, with silver and harassing meredith. i also think the scene of him and silver in the car was very tense in a way that a sex scene wouldn’t necessitate, so i think he’s going to end up killing her and turning strigoi. also silver is a sex worker in a semi mainstream media this woman is not going to get to live and silver sweetie i am so sorry.

3) i think in the next few episodes, sonya is going to try to bring back mikhail- i think she’ll be so full of grief and darkness that she’ll seek him out and try to bring him back, and only succeed at bringing him back to life as a strigoi. since we as an audience know that strigoi have consciousness and attachment to their still living loved ones, its possible he will then turn her, or her grief and the influence of spirit will end up causing her to turn strigoi to be with him and make the darkness stop.

4) i think the season finale will be rose and lissa running away from the academy, instead of being at the beginning. here, we have a glimpse of what their life was like before the book, mixed in with some of the book’s plotline, and they’re setting it up to be stressful and awful, like how it was supposed to be right before they left. i think the show is doing this for pacing and interest reasons, since its more interesting to watch characters in a magic world than not, but near the end of the season something will inspire a book-like run away sequence, and lissa and rose will flee.

5) this one is practically already canon, i just think we’re going to get explicit confirmation, probably during a mia/meredith scene: i think mia’s a lesbian, andre knew, and he was her beard. in exchange for political goals, she was going to marry him so that he could have a respectable wife and people wouldn’t pry into his personal life, and she wouldn’t expect loyalty of him, since we know andre is a playboy.

6) i’ve seen some things floating around about a new character, sasha tanner: i don’t know if she’s actually real, but i’ve found some resources on it, so i’m going to continue as if she’s a real character. i think if sasha is real, she’ll be taking the role of jill as lissa’s half sister. i think this would be way more interesting, since she’s obviously a younger dhampir sibling of mikhail’s, and the council is very biased against dhampirs. it’d be interesting to see how a dhampir dragomir would or wouldn’t contribute to lissa’s blood quorum, and if lissa would accept her at all. it also makes more sense for this to be true if we get to learn more about her character.

7) i think christian will be the one to kill his parents, probably using his magic. this would tie into his book character arc of wanting to use magic to fight the strigoi as moroi to help the guardians, and would be a great conclusion/climax to his show plotline of being unsure about reaching for them or if they truly care about him even though they’re monsters.

um i may have more next week if people want to hear more of them i just think about vampire academy Non Stop

#vampire academy #vampire academy spoilers #rose hathaway #lissa dragomir #christian ozera #mia karp #sonya karp #victor dashkov #jesse zeklos #silver vampire academy #mikhail tanner

[saiangelo999]

T.v./Dramas Consumed ‘22 Part 2

Part 1

Stranger Things s4 vol.1

I was pleasantly surprised with the direction that the show was taking in the first part of the season. I really enjoyed Eddie's addition to the cast and seeing slightly more Erica in the show. I am getting more and more annoyed with Mike's character, but other than that this season reignited a lot of my interest in this show. Episode 4 was easily one of the best episodes in this show in a while and Sadie Sink really showed off her acting chops this season. I have to say though, I am not enjoying the Russian plotline as much. It definitely is investing action wise, but I don't see how it will all connect to the main storyline before the season wraps up. I loved seeing more of Murray, but bringing Hopper back felt very cheap. Moreover, I was not that engaged with the bullying El storyline or the Byers + El meeting Mike again only for Eleven to get separated. Also, when El was getting her powers back and was seeing her past memories, I thought that 'Papa' already died? I was surprised to see him still alive. The show ending on the cliffhanger was really interesting with trying to predict what happens to Nancy.

Again My Life

DNF On episode 8 or so… hopefully will finish it.

I was really enjoying this revenge drama. One thing I really appreciate about this show is how the protagonist starts to create strong friendships and creates a team to take down Cho Tae Sub. I loved his relationship with the old real estate man.

Old Fashioned Cupcake

Love it! Sad that it's 5 episodes but it's sooo good. After episode 2 I binged the manga and am excited to see it acted out.

Update: Finished it! I really enjoyed this show! It felt like the episodes went by in a flash. The show packs in a lot in such little run time but it does it so effectively.

To My Star 2

So much pain, but so freaking good. The character and the relationship exploration is soooo good. I love how much care has gone into the season. I have no clue how it will conclude, but the writing has been strong so long so cautiously optimistic.

Update: I loved this show. Maybe even more than s1. The continuation of the story, the characterizations and problems presented and how the issues were tackled felt very organic and real to me. This was a very angsty season, but it was a very grounded show. I liked the resolution of the issue, I think that Jiwoo feeling like he doesn't exist without SJ is a huge issue. I am glad that the show focused more on establishing his place of belonging by creating a life outside his relationship with SJ.

Yumi's Cells season 1

With the release of season 2, I thought I'd check out season one of the show and its so much fun! I love Kim Go Eun and I enjoy how the show is progressing so far.

Update: I completed the season. I really enjoyed it! I really enjoyed Woong's character - he was such a lovable dork. I understand though why they ended up breaking up as there were many issues in their relationship. I was surprised that the last scene of this season was Woong and Yumi's breakup.

Yumi's Cells season 2

I started it! I found that this season it seems way sweeter than s1, probably bc of Jinyoung's character. I am curious to see where it goes. I'm enjoying it so far.

Update: Unsure how the season will progress since they broke up. I don't blame her for ending it at all, but it was a choice to bring back Woong from s1. I am very proud of her becoming an author though!

I finished this season and I think it was overall far more disappointing when compared to season 1 when comparing the progression of Yumi's relationship with Babi. The pacing of this show felt off and there was NOTHING that could save their relationship after they broke up even though they got together afterwards. I enjoyed Yumi's growth as a person this season and her shifting priorities but the balance between her growth and her romance was not handled well. I felt like shoehorning Woong and making him face-off against Babi was unnecessary and made Babi look worse.

Stranger Things s4 vol 2

I feel lied to with this whole vol 1 & 2 nonsense they pulled. There was no reason they couldn't just release all the episodes at once seeing as it was only 2 more episodes. Watching the rest of s4 once again sobered me up to the fact that the writing in this show cannot be trusted to be good. Really, the monologue Mike gave Eleven was very cringey. WTF happened with Max? They backpedalled like 3 times in the finale. She died, gongs 4 times, then she's in a coma? Either kill her properly or don't, but don't pull this bs.

Eddie dying did not really make sense. He should have just climbed the rope with Dustin bc their job (as decoys) was done. I hate that only Dustin even cared that he died even though he bonded with them all (but Gaetan really acted well there so good for him). The Steve/Nancy/Jonathan thing was very contrived drama that was kind of funny to me but not in a way I care about the outcome. I did NOT like the scenes between Steve and Nancy they felt so awkward these 2 episodes.

The one scene that I thought was touching was Will and Jonathan's talk which reminded me why I was so invested in their relationship in s1.

The trailer for the remainder of this season was FAR more engaging than the actual content they released. It was legitimately the first time this season I was so disengaged from the show. It was definitely far darker this season, but what a shame they didn't take full advantage of it. It felt very half-baked tonally.

All of Us Are Dead

I guess I just need to see an outbreak movie every once in a while. I really enjoyed the characters in this show and felt very attached to most of the high schoolers in the main crew and the archery crew. Gwi nam was an excellent villain, truly a menace! I also think that the formerly bullied girl who became unhinged should have had a chance to go after him though, I'd love to see how that turns out but alas. I understand the hype around the show but honestly I don't know why they are doing a s2, though I'm sure they'll end up adding new characters and expand the world-building. I can't say I'm interested or intrigued at a sequel, but I loved the first season for what it was.

Re-watch: Stranger Things s1

I can't believe how many things I got confused from s1 and s2. Re-watching it made me rethink why I liked Mike as a character from s1 itself. Steve definitely was a jerk, but honestly I felt like they set him up nicely as someone who wanted to do better from the beginning. The most surprising thing was my belief that Nancy and Steve broke up and she ended up with Jonathan in s1 when that wasn't the case.

Abbott Elementary s1

This show was just very wholesome and fun. Loved seeing Tyler now as a teacher after growing up with Everybody Hates Chris. I think that the actresses who played Barbra and Ava really stole the show for me! Looking forward to watching more!

Link: Eat, Love, Kill

I didn't expect this show to be so dark in the first two episodes. I like how there are many twists and mysteries that keep unravelling. My favourite couple easily is the police exes. They are so cute together!

Finished the show. It was a solid show overall. I think the mystery show was done well. I loved the exes relationship in this!

Alchemy of Souls

I am enjoying this show way more than I expected. I am nervous as this show is 20 episodes and already planning a season 2.

Update: I finished this show. I have to say that this show had an excellent arc and character progression up until episode 19. Episode 20 seemed like purposely stirring up intrigue and drama to continue the story over another season and brought out all the major secrets all at once. I am not fully confident with how s2 will progress given episode 20, however I have to say I really enjoyed the arc up til episode 19. Also I feel that while I am looking forward to more screen time for Jin Cho-yeon other than being a love interest, I didn't like that her wedding was what was ruined to bring it about. I am glad that they didn't go full character assassination with the Crown Prince in episode 20 because he is so charismatic and such an interesting character.

This show was very ambitious and I think for all its flaws it has solid characterizations and motivations, the drama didn't feel too forced (unless its for comedy).

Alias Grace

I really enjoyed this mini series! It was very intriguing to follow Grace's life from coming to Toronto from Ireland up until the end. I will say, I am surprised at the ending of the show.

The Good Place seasons 2-4

I am glad I came back to the show. I really enjoyed this series!! I found the humour really worked for me, the characters are so lovable and I love the overall message of the show. Chidi and Eleanor continually being the heart of the show really made Chidi's decisions in later season hit so much harder. I love Jason's relationships with everyone. It was fun seeing Michael's character development throughout the show. I also really enjoyed Simone's addition to the cast! She was a delight!

Re-watch: Nobuta wo Produce

This show holds up so well! I was never able to forget that one scene when Nobuko helped the old man when he collapsed. That scene burned itself into my memory. I felt like I thought this show had more romance focus than it did in reality. I love the three main characters, I especially love and relate to Kazuhaya on a different level than the other two, but I love how the trio balance each other out. I love how weird everyone was at their school including the teachers. I really enjoyed re-watching this show!!

Derry Girls Season 3

I am so sad that this show is over, but I am glad that it ended well. I really loved all the characters and watching them get up to their insane shenanigans. This season was just as funny as the previous ones and just as heartfelt. Absolute twist they pulled with Uncle Colm finding Eammon boring lol. When this show ended, I totally get why the actor who plays James ships his character with Erin so much.

Re-watch: Stranger Things s2

I finally finished this and I have to say this season is way better upon re-watch. I remember thinking that this season was not to par of the original, but I really enjoyed the possession arc with Will. I think it was the first real season we got more insight into his personality and Noah really shone in this season.

I loved seeing the scenes with Mike/Will and seeing Lucas and Max's relationship develop. I think the most controversial and hated episode with Eleven and Kali was exaggerated too much. It fit the tone of the show and I really enjoyed El's rock/emo/outcast phase. Especially coming off of where Eleven was mentally it fit in well. Tbh I would love if Kali reappears at one point in the show (though I won't hold out hope). It does bother me that El's storyline with her mom which was a fun plot thread this season was NOT resolved nor ever mentioned again. Same thing with El reclaiming her birth name - Jane. I hope there is some resolution for this in s5...

Also, I did not remember how Barb and her family got closure due to Nancy/Johnathan and Murray's help. I appreciate that Steve and Nancy grew apart due to how her guilt consumed her. It was done well and made a lot of sense. Steve the babysitter set-up and his friendship with Dustin beginning was another highlight this season.

Little Women (Tvn)

This was a fun and WILD ride. I watched it bc it has my two girls - my faves Nam Ji Hyun <3 and Kim Go Eun <3. I have to say this show was super trippy and twisty but also at times very straight-forward and formulaic. The whole show felt like a juxtaposition given how the characters and plot were written. It is visually stunning but you really need to shut of your brain to watch imo (and really escape into the absurdity). I had a lot of fun with this show and it is enjoyable though not for everyone.

Interview with a Vampire

Its so good!!! On the edge of my seat each episode. The relationship is so interesting because of how complex each character is. The dialogue at times is so poetic. Looking forward to more! Must read the books as well!

Koisenu Futari

Finally found the subs for this show (after months of wanting to see it) and it is my type for sure! I am flying through it because its so good and fun. I am trying to make it last more than a binge. I love the characters and how the are growing and influencing each other. I love the questions the show raises and how it portrays asexuality and aromanticism as well as questioning 'what makes a family?' I love the emphasis on the diversity of opinions and mutual respect while recognizing everyone has their own ideas on how to live their lives.

Silent

What a masterpiece of a show. I am obsessed with all the characters. Such an interesting show and love all the discourse around Sakurai Sou's disability and him learning to open back up to people.

Lookism (anime)

I really enjoyed how the webtoon was animated for the short 8 episodes. I like how much it adds to the experience getting to listen to the song that the mc sings at the concert in the final episode and watching all the fight scenes. Time to continue reading the webtoon.

Summer Strike

So... I thought this was going to be a cozy slice-of-life watch (though ngl I mainly watched for Im Siwan). I loved the main two characters and the slow nature of the show. I have to see that the ending felt super rushed which really dampened my experience with this show. The relationships between the characters felt rushed and could have been fleshed out more to make it more impactful.

#saiangelo posts #saiangelotalks #tv show tracker #again my life #old fashioned cupcake #tms2 #to my star 2 #yumi's cells #yumi's cells s2 #stranger things 4 #stranger things spoilers #all of us are dead #abbott elementary #alias grace #the good place #link: eat love kill #alchemy of souls #nobuta wo produce #derry girls #derry girls series 3 #interview with a vampire #koisenu futari #little women tvn #silent #lookism #summer strike