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#what do you mean I didn't spell that right
lancermylove · 1 day
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True Love's Kiss (HC)
Fandom: Twisted Wonderland
Pairing: All x fem!Reader, minus Ortho
Warning: None
Requested by: @cartoonykat
Prompt: Hi, I love your work, I read almost every one of your fics/hcs, especially Twisted Wonderland and Obey Me. I read on your post that requests are open, so I was wondering if you could do Twisted Wonderland Boys (minus Ortho) x Reader, where Reader and the Adeuce duo were in potions class, due to shenanigans happening, it causes Reader to fall into a Sleeping Beauty spell, where she's asleep, and the only cure is True love's kiss?
A/N: Thank you! 🥰
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Prologue:
"W-Will she be okay?" Deuce nervously asked as he watched Crewel examining you. On the other hand, Ace had a serious expression and remained silent. The remainder of the students in class remained in a corner, and while some were glaring at Adeuce for their shenanigans, the others watched the professor.
After what felt like an eternity, Crewel sighed, "How did you puppies manage to concatenate such a potion? Regardless, there is a cure that should awaken the Sleeping Beauty."
"Sleeping...Beauty...?" Ace repeated the professor's words before his eyes widened. "You don't mean...a true love's kiss?"
A slight smirk tugged on Crewel's lips. "So it seems you have intelligence, yet you choose to waste it. Yes, the only way to wake (y/n) is for her true love to kiss her."
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Leona
Leona was far from happy when he heard what had happened to you. The moment he stepped into the class, he growled at Adeuce, causing the duo to back into a corner.
However, the prince was far more concerned about your well-being. Setting aside his anger, Leona stepped closer to you. As he leaned down, there was a softness in his eyes.
He didn't care who was watching and what they would think; all Leona wanted was to know that you were all right from your own mouth.
The prince pressed a light kiss to your lips before pulling away and intensely studying your face. When your eyebrows furrowed, Leona quietly sighed in relief and helped you sit up.
Even before you could ask what happened, the lion spun on his heels and growled at the duo again. Leona pounded his fist against his left hand as he glared fiercely at Ace and Deuce.
They were not getting out of this situation without learning an unforgettable lesson. Moreover, Crewel didn't do anything to stop Leona and watched in amusement.
Ruggie
Ruggie rushed into the room and didn't even bother to look at Adeuce. His ears slightly lowered as his eyes focused on you. You were going to be okay, right?
The hyena didn't waste any time and immediately kissed you, but he chose to plant a playful kiss on your cheek. It wasn't like Crewel, or anyone said that he had to kiss you in a particular place.
Knowing that there were students watching, Ruggie wanted to be respectful to you. When you stirred, he sighed and gave you a quick hug.
While Crewel explained what happened to you, Ruggie threw glares at the duo. He wasn't going to do anything to them at the moment, but the hyena would get them back when they least expected it.
Jack
Jack flung the door open to the room so hard that he nearly ripped the door from the hinges. That was enough to have Ace and Deuce shaking.
When Crewel informs him that he needs to kiss you to wake you up, Jack's cheeks turn red. There were so many people present, so how was he supposed to kiss you openly? Besides, he didn't ask for your permission, so was it really okay?
The wolf knew he didn't have any other choice, so he leaned down and pecked your lips.
After you woke up, Jack lightly patted your head. After Crewel explained what happened, he turned to the wolf and smirked. "Ah, did I forget to mention that it wasn't necessary to kiss her on the lips?"
Jack's face turned redder than before as he averted his eyes from Crewel. While he was embarrassed, Jack was far angrier at Ace and Deuce for always causing trouble for you.
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Malleus
As soon as Crewel confirmed your true love had to kiss you, Adeuce knew who was coming and immediately hid under a table. The last thing they wanted was to face Malleus's wrath.
The dragon quietly walked into the classroom, his eyes solely focused on you. How dare someone put you in this condition! Even though Malleus's expression was blank, everyone in the classroom could feel his anger radiating through the area. It had most of them quaking in their shoes. Even Crewel seemed uneasy.
Without wasting time, Malleus brushed your hair from your face and pressed a loving kiss on your forehead. While you stirred from your slumber, his hand continued to rest on your head as if to provide comfort.
Once you were fully awake, the prince scooped you in his arms and wordlessly walked out of the classroom.
Meanwhile, Lilia leaned against the doorframe. He was there to ensure that Malleus wouldn't lose control of his temper. The ex-war general looked toward the desk where Adeuce hid and whispered the words. "The two of you pushed your limits this time around. You better be careful."
Lilia
Even though Lilia was worried, he still maintained a calm demeanor as he walked into the classroom. He didn't need Crewel to tell him what he had to do to wake you up.
He took a moment to study you and found it amusing that he was part of a real-life Sleeping Beauty tale. Lilia had always assumed that Malleus would play the prince for obvious reasons.
Wordlessly, he walked up to you and playfully pecked your lips. Lilia made sure to keep his face close so when you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was his teasing smile.
"If you wanted a kiss, you should have asked directly," he whispered with a chuckle.
Once you had sat up, Lilia glanced at Adeuce. Though he didn't say anything, a smile tugged on his lips. However, the smile didn't reach Lilia's lips, and his gaze made a chill run down the duo's backs. They were in deep waters and knew it.
Silver
Silver almost felt like he was in a dream when he walked into the classroom and saw you lying on a wooden table. All that was missing was a rose in your hand.
Even though he wasn't keen on kissing you in front of so many students, mainly due to his worries about them teasing you, Silver stepped forward out of a sense of duty and care.
At that moment, he was your knight in shining armor and took your hand before bowing his head and placing a loving kiss on the back of it. The scene was so beautiful that it even moved Crewel.
Once you woke up, the professor explained what Ace and Deuce had done. Normally, you would have been mad, but seeing that Silver was still holding onto your hand, you couldn't be angry.
Well, for now. Later, you planned to get them back for it and then give them a hug. If it wasn't for them, Silver would not have kissed you. Although, somewhere deep down, you wished he had kissed your lips.
Sebek
While he wasn't happy about what happened to you, Sebek didn't want to kiss you in public. He had an image to maintain - one of a dedicated and fearsome guard - and kissing you would give him the label of a softy. Something he didn't want.
Malleus had to eventually push him, and since the orders came directly from the prince, Sebek couldn't say no.
He slowly walked into the classroom, trying to keep his fearsome aura. But the closer he got to you, the more worried Sebek became.
Despite feeling awkward, Sebek got down on one knee, took your hand, and placed a quick kiss on it. But once you stirred, Sebek quickly released your hand, stood up, and stepped back.
He didn't even wait for you to fully wake up and exited the room. Sebek felt too embarrassed to face you.
That entire day, Lilia teased him about being such a shy softy, much to Sebek's dismay.
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Azul
He wasn't surprised to hear that Adeuce had caused another issue. The duo was notorious for their shenanigans, and he had experienced it firsthand. A part of him wished that he could keep the anemones on their head until they graduated.
However, Azul wasn't happy that they had directly caused such a strong effect on you. He was relieved that Crewel was there to overlook the situation and figure out a cure.
The octopus didn't waste time and hurriedly walked into the classroom, ready to help you in any way, until he heard that he had to give you a kiss.
Azul wasn't expecting that and decided to approach this like a business transaction. However, as he lowered his lips closer to your face, a small voice echoed in the back of his head: what if he wasn't your true love?
His heart raced out of control as he pecked your cheek quick and stood up straight, clearing his throat. Azul's eyes were fixed on your face, waiting for the verdict to his question. But when you were opened, he was relieved and smiled warmly.
The next moment, he looked at Adeuce with a chilling gaze to let them know they were going to pay for this later.
Jade
Jade didn't react when he heard the news about what happened to you. Floyd was with him and accompanied his twin to your classroom.
Seeing both eels, Adeuce exchanged a look and gulped loudly. They hoped that no one told the twins that they were responsible for what happened to you.
Without hesitation, Jade leaned down to kiss your lips but kept it short as he knew others were watching him. Neither eel moved until you stirred and slowly opened your eyes.
Jade helped you sit up and asked if you were all right. Meanwhile, Floyd turned his head to Adeuce and gave him a cold, toothy grin. As Jade helped you to your feet, Ace and Deuce ran out of the classroom with Floyd chasing after them.
Floyd
Floyd casually strolled into your classroom and studied you expressionlessly. Seeing the lack of expression on his face, the students and Crewel were tense.
Much to their relief, Floyd walked up to you and swiftly kissed you. He didn't pull his lips away until you had fully opened your eyes and saw him kissing you.
Once he pulled away and helped you sit up, the eel turned his head to Adeuce slowly. Like a creepy doll in a horror movie, Floyd's head very slowly turned to the duo.
When he met their gazes, his lips parted and twisted into a deadly smile. The duo knew what was coming their way, and they ran behind Crewel for protection.
However, the professor stepped out of the way. "You deserve this." From his voice, it seemed like Crewel was enjoying the sight of Adeuce trembling.
By the time Floyd was done with them, the duo felt like someone had squeezed their organs out of them.
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Idia
His anxiety level rockets to the sky. Not only were you in trouble, but he had to come to a classroom filled with people. The horrors! Thankfully, Ortho was supportive, and Idia managed to walk into the classroom, albeit trembling.
Seeing you on the wooden table, his anxiety increased more; however, just when he thought things couldn't get worse, Crewel told him about the true love's kiss. Idia felt the entire world spinning. He would have to kiss you in front of everyone? What had he done to deserve such a crewel cruel fate?
Ortho monitored his brother's biometrics and could tell Idia would not be able to keep it together any longer. So, he went out of his way and bumped into Idia on purpose.
His push was so perfectly calculated that Idia lost his balance and ended up with his lips on yours. Realizing what he was doing, Idia squealed and stood up straight, nearly fainting.
Meanwhile, Crewel stood in the back and sighed. Just when one person woke up, another fainted. This would be a long day for him, especially with Crowley wanting an explanation for everything.
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Kalim
As soon as Kalim heard about your condition, he dropped everything and ran to your classroom, knocking over a few students on the way.
He rushed into the room without paying attention to his surroundings. Kalim's widened eyes were on you and you only. Before Crewel could warn him about the flasks on the ground, Kalim stepped on one and lost his balance.
The next thing he knew, his lips were firmly pressed against yours. When you opened your eyes, Kalim was half on top of you with a WIDE grin. He was relieved to see you and didn't realize the position the two of you were in.
Sighing, Crewel pulled Kalim away from you after seeing the shocked expressions on the other students' faces. Even then, Kalim threw his arms around you and hugged you tightly, happy that you were okay.
Jamil
Jamil was far from happy when he heard what Ace and Deuce did. Sometimes, he wanted to label them as Kalim 2 and Kalim 3, but at least Kalim got into trouble out of his clumsiness and innocence. Meanwhile, Ace got into trouble on purpose, and Deuce's anger got the better of him.
He rushed into the classroom and asked Crewel about your condition. A kiss? While Jamil was relieved that you would be fine in no time, he felt a bit awkward to kiss you with so many eyes on him.
Sighing heavily, he glared at Adeuce before making his way to you. Leaning in, he pressed his lips on yours but didn't let the kiss last long.
As soon as you opened your eyes, you saw a deep crimson on Jamil's cheek and wondered what happened.
While Jamil didn't plan to get the duo back immediately, he knew what he would do to make them pay. Ace was going to get it during Basketball Club practice, and Deuce would get it when he least expected it.
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Vil
With a huff, he gracefully walked into the classroom with Rook following him. Vil glared at Aduece as he made his way to the table you lay on.
He had the urge to lecture Crewel for not keeping the disaster duo in check, but he wanted to wake you up first. With one hand across his abdomen, Vil bowed and softly kissed your lips.
Gasps could be heard from the students as the scene looked like something straight out of a movie. Rook wanted to poetically express the beauty of the scene but knew Vil was already upset and didn't want to make him angry.
Once you opened your eyes, Vil straightened his posture and snapped his head to Adeuce. Glaring daggers at them, he towered over the two and warned them to stop causing you trouble.
Vil didn't ask Crewel for permission and took you along with him. Meanwhile, Adeuce were on the ground on their butts, still looking up at where Vil once stood. They were sweating profusely.
Rook
Rook burst into the room, scaring most of the students and startling Crewel. He immediately broke into tragic poetry in a loud voice, further startling everyone.
Once Rook finished, Crewel informed him about the true love's kiss, and the hunter once again broke into poetry. Knowing this would not end soon, the professor sat in a chair, one leg crossed over the other while massaging his temple with his right hand.
Eventually...Rook bowed and took your hand before giving it a long kiss. Even when you opened your eyes, you saw Rook kissing the back of your hand repeatedly while speaking in French.
The duo thought they had escaped Rook, but a few moments after the hunter left the classroom, two arrows flew in. Both arrows held a note and were close to Adeuces' faces. One inch closer, and the tip would have gone through their noses.
The letters with the arrows had a threat, warning them to watch their back at every moment.
Epel
Epel hurried into the classroom in a panic, thinking you were in a coma. When Rook informed him about your condition, Epel's mind froze at "eternally asleep" and didn't hear anything else.
Seeing Epel's panic, Crewel attempted to calm him down and explained what he needed to do. But that made Epel half panic and half embarrassed. What would his grandmother say if she learned he kissed you in front of so many people?
Out of habit, Ace began to tease Epel, which made him snap. "It's all chur fault! Few hadn't...um...I mean..."
Epel became quiet and turned his attention to you. Taking a deep breath, he leaned down and kissed your cheek quickly. A part of him wished he didn't have to kiss your lips. Luckily for him, you woke up.
Epel was the only one who didn't get mad at Adeuce or try to get back at them in any way.
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Riddle
Riddle flung the door and sent it flying against the wall behind it, leaving a crack in the drywall. His face was bright red, and while he was worried about you, Riddle was far angrier at Adeuce.
Not only did they cause you trouble, but they also shamed Heartslabyul. The next moment, the words "OFF. WITH. YOUR. HEAD." echoed through the classroom. Adeuce sighed heavily but didn't protest as they knew they deserved it.
When Crewel told Riddle what he had to do to wake you up, the house warden's anger melted into embarrassment. However, he was determined to wake you up.
Putting aside his shyness, Riddle sighed and kissed you on the forehead. He held his breath until you opened your eyes and sat up.
For the time being, Riddle let Ace and Deuce get away with only the magic-uppressing collar. But later, he planned to punish them even more.
Trey
Trey calmly walked in, not surprised that Adeuce had caused more trouble. He didn't get mad at the duo right away and focused on waking you up.
Even when Crewel told him that he needed to kiss you, Trey didn't hesitate and gently kissed your lips. Once you woke up, he helped you to your feet and tussled your hair a little.
Seeing Trey this calm, Adeuce thought they were not in trouble and were relieved. However, later that day, Trey worked them to the bones in the kitchen, all the while watching them struggle with a smile on his lips.
Cater
Though he was calm on the outside, Cater was panicking internally. He quickly rushed into the classroom, and when he saw you sleeping peacefully on the table, Cater was nearly tempted to pull out his phone and record everything.
When Crewel informed him about the kiss, he was excited but tried his best not to show his excitement openly. Leaning down, he gave you a playful kiss on your lips and reluctantly pulled back after a few seconds.
Once you woke up, he gave you a wink and immediately took a selfie before posting it on MagiCam with #truelove and #trueloveskiss.
Cater didn't directly get back at the duo, but he made their lives harder for a few weeks in the dorm, his favorite being ratting them out to Riddle when they break any and every rule.
Ace
OH CRAP! Wait, did that mean he had to kiss you in front of the others? Ace wasn't sure how to feel about this. A part of his was excited to kiss you, but the other was uncomfortable with so many prying eyes.
To calm himself down, he made a few jokes and playful comments. However, Crewel sighed, "Would you kindly wake (y/n)? You have wasted enough time."
Seeing the professor hitting his teaching pointer on the palm of his left hand, Ace immediately rushed to you and kissed you. Before he could make the kiss last longer, Crewel yanked him back from you.
When you woke up and the professor told you everything, you glared at Ace, rolled up your sleeves and began to chase him around the classroom. While Deuce stayed out of your way, the other students laughed and recorded the incident. Even Crewel seemed a bit amused.
Deuce
Deuce started to apologize, but when he heard about the kiss, he froze up. His mind short-circuited, and he didn't know what to do or say.
"Geez, kiss her already," Ace mumbled.
Hearing those words, Deuce snapped and started to blame Ace for what had happened. Before the fight could get out physical or out of hand, Crewel stepped in and commanded Deuce to wake you up.
As sweat rolled down his face, he kissed your cheek, making Ace laugh. "What a scaredy c-"
Crewel lightly hit Ace's arm with the teaching pointer before he could finish the sentence to prevent another fight.
When you woke up, and Crewel told you about what transpired, you glared at the duo. While Ace raised his hands in defense, Deuce apologized to you profusely.
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1unpaid-intern · 2 days
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A little late to the party but I finally watched episode 17 of dungeon meshi!
I'm an anime-only so I thought all the "Laios has autism" talk was just a popular headcanon, but no! They basically spelled it out this episode!
I see a lot of people absolutly demonizing Shuro because of how he reacted to Laios explaining himself, and while it is his fault for not giving it straight to Laios earlier (because come on, you said yourself that he's sincere and not picking up on subtle hints) , he's not evil either (if anything he sees himself as a hero and Laios' sincere & annoying obliviousness is throwing him off).
Shuro was raised in a different culture + he also just had a really terrible time lately and he just reached his breaking point. I mean:
He thought his crush died and it was a race against time to save her
Because of that he didn't take care of himself
It turns out Laios & crew already revived her with BLACK MAGIC but they lost her AGAIN because they angered THE LORD OF THE DUNGEON
All things considered Laios seems super chill and oblivious about the situation (as always) not like his sister's life is in danger
Aaaaaand then he finds out, because of the black magic, she fused with the dragon and might never be her real self again, ergo he'd have to kill her
Like, Laios is right, this man needs a break.
What I do find hilarious though is how Falin has all these qualities he doesn't like, but it's Falin so with her it's not enraging but ✨️enchanting✨️
She already knew about Marcille's black magic and was cool with it (in the flashback she was really interested in Marcille's ideas so she probably even encouraged it)
To the people of her class she was an outsider with weired interests just like Laios. The only difference is that he's very talkative and likes to overshare, while Falin seems more like a soft spoken, quiet type of day dreamer
She also doesn't seem to get social cues that well (she also fell for the scam + didn't seem to realize Shuro wanted more alone time with her when Laios joined them)
Apparently you can overlook quite a few things in a person when you're down bad for them.
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imdead770 · 2 days
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anything for Luke and a daughter of hecate, ANYTHING FOR THEM......
had to do my research for this one
for context Hecate is the goddess of witchcraft, magic, ghosts, stuff like that. There's probably more but that's what I got from my one minute google search
I kept this kind of fluffy because I wanted to switch it up, I hope that's okay! If you want smut feel free to request again 🩷
Enjoy!
Luke didn't known much about your mother, most people didn't. She was one of the smaller goddesses. Well, not small, she just wasn't as well known as Athena or Aphrodite. He had heard her name a few times around camp, not thinking much of it. He didn't pay much attention to the name until he realized your own name was associated with it. Whenever you came to camp, eventually getting claimed by Hecate, he started to do his research. He started listening if one of the counselors talked about her or reading more thoroughly if he saw her name in a book. He wanted to learn more about her for one reason; to get closer to you.
Once he learned more about her, he started seeing the resemblances between the two of you. Your long, silky dark hair was exactly how some book described your mother, as well as your overall beauty. If Hecate hadn't of claimed you, it probably would have been Aphrodite. It also made sense why you and some of the Hades' kids were close, you were all connected to the dead. Another thing that made you alike, you were magical. Something about you almost made him feel as if he was put under some sort of spell. Every time you walked into a room, smiling and laughing, it was as if you enchanted him. Every time he was the cause of your laughter, he would melt, almost as if you had cursed him to fall in love with you.
He didn't know how, but your godly parent eventually came up in a conversation. And God's had he prepared for this moment.
"Yeah, she can control ghosts and magic n' all that, right?"
All of that research was worth it. The way you looked at him, your face holding one of your signature, beautiful smiles.
"Yeah... she can. How'd you know that?"
"Uh... I dunno, I've just always found her interesting."
He managed to get out that excuse, you seemed to believe it. Your smile only grew, sending butterflies into his stomach again.
As the two of you kept talking, your mother fading away and the conversation becoming more natural, he was all smiles. He was smiling for a few reasons. One being that he was proud of himself for being productive and learning about your mother. The main reason, though, was you. How your lips moved when you talked, your sing-songy voice leaving them as you joked around with him. He hadn't realized he was starring until you pointed it out.
"Luke? Are you okay? You're like zoning out or something."
"Hm?"
He forced himself to look away from your gorgeous smile, meeting your eyes. They looked stunning. The light hit them perfectly, giving them a magical glow as if your mother was casting a spell from Olympus. As if she and Aphrodite were cursing him to fall head over heels in love and not have a single say in it. Once again he was zoning out, gazing into your eyes like a lovestruck fool. He could've mustered up another excuse if he kept his mouth shut. That only confirmed his theory of being cursed.
"You have really pretty eyes, yknow.."
Shit. He didn't even mean to say that, the words just left his lips. Your mother must've hated him. He wanted to go and dive off the dock and never come back up for air. He was about to go do so until you spoke again.
"Yeah..?"
Since he had been looking down like a flustered idiot, he hadn't noticed the way your smile grew after his words. He hadn't noticed the way your eyes lit up, nor the way you were blushing yourself. Not as badly as him, but you were still blushing.
"..Yeah."
He looked back up to meet your eyes again, finally noticing how your smile became a grin. He couldn't help but mimic the expression, it was infectious.
He didn't notice how you had scooted closer, bit he did notice how you leaned in. He noticed how your beautiful eyes softly closed, and he especially noticed how your lips met his. It all happened so fast, but Gods.. it was magical.
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odinsblog · 2 days
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Elie Mystal covered the ridiculous, “Presidential Immunity” (aka, “Why Can’t Trump Be Treated Like A Dictator?”) case before SCOTUS
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Dreeben: "BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T CRIMES!" (he didn't yell, I did, but he said "because there weren't crimes." )
Oh God, now Roberts wondering if they should send it back to the DC circuit because he's worried about presidents getting prosecuted in bad faith.
Roberts: "The court of appeals did not get into a focused consideration of what facts we're talking about or what documents we're talking about... they did not look at what courts usually look at when... taking away immunity."
Is this motherfucker serious? His argument is "Every president coups, why is mine getting charged?"
Thomas: Are you saying there's no immunity even for official acts?
And... that could be the ballgame
Roberts, Gorsuch, and Kavanaugh are more worried about a prosecutor going after a president for *political* reasons than A PRESIDENT TRYING TO OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT.
This is just about over.
And by "this" I mean the rule of law and by "over" I mean delayed indefinitely to help Trump.
Gorsuch suggesting that under the government's standard a president could be prosecuted for leading a "civil rights protest" in front of Congress and sought to "influence an official proceeding."
Yes, because Jan 6 and a fucking sit in are the same thing, Neil.
This is goddamn disgusting.
I'm going to keep listening because it is my literal job, but this is pretty much in the bag for Trump at this point. Remand to DC Circuit for decision on "official acts" and whether organizing a coup is one.
After November, if Trump loses, SCOTUS will return to the issue.
Alito: Are you really saying the president is subject to criminal laws like everybody else?
YES YOU DICK. THE PRESIDENT SHOULD BE SUBJECT TO THE LAWS LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!
Alito: "I'm not talking about the particular facts of this case."
WHY? WHY THE HELL ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS FUCKING CASE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?
The question I'd have for the SCOTUS now is: If you do this, why would a Republican president every peacefully transfer power again?
Democratic presidents will because Democrats follow rules that don't apply to the other side. But why would Republicans just leave *ever again*?
Alito: Couldn't FDR's decision to inter Japanese Americans during WWII be charged [as a crime]?
He says that LIKE THAT'S A BAD THING?
And Dreeben is trying to say that he couldn't.
This country, and specifically this court, is a fucking joke.
Now onto self-pardons. Alito is just playing all the Fox News hits now.
I'm going to smoke. Biden should send Seal Team 6 to Mar-a-Lago because according to Alito there's no downside.
Alito just suggested that the last election was "questionably decided"
I have left my body and am texting things I can't say aloud to my friends.
Kagan is like the first person to be asking about the actual criminal acts Trump is charged with.
I assume Alito is not listening because Kagan is a woman while Gorsuch is probably sitting there emailing the New York Times because they got something wrong on the Spelling Bee.
I see the internet is unimpressed with Dreeben but that's being a little unfair. The Republican justices want to do this, there's nothing that Dreeben could say to stop them.
What he *could* be doing was making their hypocrisy more clear for the non-legal media following along.
But... SCOTUS advocates have to preserve their ability to argue another day, and blowing up the justices in one case
A: Doesn't help them actually win the case.
B: Actively hurts them in the next one.
Kavanaugh: "Like Justice Gorsuch, I'm not concerned with the here and now of this case, I'm concerned about the future."
I don't know why this is acceptable. I do know that the justices are sure they are right about ignoring the facts of THIS ACTUAL CASE.
Kavanaugh... who WORKED FOR KEN STARR... is basically saying that Jack Smith is politically motivated and his appoint in unconstitutional.
It's... maddening. And most of the media reports will not even point out this hypocrisy.
The "independent counsel" law was rewritten into our current "special counsel" law BECAUSE of the shit Kavanaugh helped Starr do! Everybody was like "that crap can't happen again."
Somebody get @neal_katyal and @MonicaLewinsky on the phone to blow up this asshole.
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky Every time I try to no have a stroke listening to this bullshit, they say something even more risible and stupid.
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky Kavanaugh: "President Ford's pardon. Hugely unpopular when he did it... now probably looked on as one of his better decisions."
What? WHAT? WHO THE FUCK THINKS FORD'S PARDON OF NIXON WAS A GOOD IDEA? WHEN DID I DIE AND GO TO HELL????
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky This could be a men v. women 5-4 ruling.
Men: Let's kick this back to DC to further delay Trump's trial.
Soto, Kagan, Jackson: Why? That's fucking dumb.
Barrett: Ladies, I agree with you, but we shouldn't call the men fucking dumb. We should politely disagree.
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky We're past the two and half hour mark for an argument where the Republican justices made their decision when they were appointed, some of them decades ago.
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky KBJ is closing by trying to answer all of Gorsuch's questions, which would be effective if Gorsuch operated in good faith. But... he doesn't. So...
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky I had hoped that *one* of the liberal justices would have made the point from the Common Cause brief, highlighting that the whole point of what Republican justices are doing is to give Trump delay.
Not a persuasive argument for the justices, but good for the media to hear.
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky The case is submitted. Court doesn't come back till May 9th which will be a decision day.
But I think they won't decide *this* case until July 3rd for max delay. And that decision will be 5-4 to remand the case back to DC, for additional delay.
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky I wish I had better news for you. Thanks anyway for following along with our national descent into madness.
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misc-obeyme · 2 days
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what kind of face do you think Barbatos would make if he learned I microwave my tea? i need a constant stream of tea usually and microwaving is the fastest way to get a cup of hot water, if the hot water kettle isn't already going. 1 minute and tea bag and it's already drinkable.
if he told me to wait and went to make me a proper cuppa id probably wither and just beg him to microwave water and a tea bag. do you think he would disown me?
Yes, anon. I do think he would disown you.
I mean, no I don't actually think he'd disown you, but it'd be kinda cute, right? He's so appalled that he just kinda has to take a time out. Can't think clearly about it until he has his own calming cup of tea. And then he feels better and starts brainstorming ideas to help you with this issue.
Now, when you say the hot water kettle are we talking the traditional stove top situation? Because you know they make electric kettles, right? They're muuuuch faster. You can also get a Keurig type situation.
Why does this matter? you may be asking. It all makes water hot, right?
Yeah, technically. But in order to steep tea correctly, your water has to be a specific temperature. And you can't really get a specific temp with a microwave. Whereas most Keurigs and electric kettles either automatically heat the water to the correct temperature or you can change their settings so they do.
This is so your tea isn't too bitter.
And if you want my honest opinion, I doubt Barbatos uses tea bags, either.
He strikes me as a loose leaf only kinda guy, maybe using a tea bag if he's in a pinch or something.
However, I think Barbatos is likely to just... make you a whole pot. He'll put the loose leaf tea directly into the pot, followed by the water already heated to the right temperature, then let it steep the correct amount of time depending on the type of tea. Then he'll have a little strainer for you to catch the tea leaves in as you pour the tea from pot to cup.
A pot will last you a lot longer than a single cup. And I'd be really surprised if he didn't have a spell for keeping the pot warm until the tea is gone.
And then he'd just make sure you never run out.
Of course, if you have any interest in iced tea, you wouldn't need to worry about any of this. Because you can cold brew any type of tea. Leave a pitcher of it in the fridge over night and bam - tea all day.
HOWEVER. Since you did ask me what kind of face he would make, I'm going to subject you to my terrible art skills to demonstrate how I think it'd go. Now you can all see why I'm not an artist.
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He's upset.
I mean, I would be too if someone drew me so badly. I'm sorry, Barb. My MC is an artist, but I'm not, I'm afraid. I just realized I forgot to give him a nose. I MEAN that was totally on purpose, it's a style choice. Anyway, I hope the frown at least conveys how sad he is about you microwaving your tea lol.
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pinkandpurple360 · 12 hours
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taking a count of the episodes, Stolas is likely to appear in 8/12 of them - literally two third of the entire season. meanwhile the other members of IMP have been thrown to the wayside to make room (and the show potentially intends to introduce yet more Goetias...)
I've got a theory about the themes of s1 and s2 and tbh I think it's fairly supported by the text. so the theory is basically this:
Season 1 is the Blitzo season. Season 2 is the Stolas season
but when you compare the two, it's...telling
Season 1 - basically a whistle stop tour of most of the people Blitzo has hurt in the past (Fizz, Verosika) and the ways in which he is on track to mess up his current relationships in his new life if he doesn't change (pushing boundaries with his employees by stalking M&M, needing to give Loona some space to grow up, being a liability to his own business through his lack of professionalism and impulsiveness).
In the effectively two part finale of e6&7 (not counting 8, it does little to tell us stuff we don't already know) it is made brutally clear that Blitzo desperately wants love and intimacy but doesn't know how to get there because he doesn't know how to be vulnerable with people. He ends the episode crying on the couch while knowing that despite having people in his new life, he's still alone and will remain so if nothing changes
Season 2 - opens on a flashback to Stolas as a child where it's revealed the woman he cheated on was an evil monster since birth and only he was the victim in the arranged marriage scenario. He was the only victim when he was forced to have a child he didn't want and the only victim when he kept the marriage going despite it not working for anyone involved. He coerced Blitzo into a sexual arrangement in season 1, but Stolas was the real victim there because...um...Blitzo seduced him for the book and took it after a one night stand, even though sex with Blitzo was something Stolas clearly wanted but didn't have the guts to admit (and he was also the first one to make it sexual, claiming Blitzo came to ravish him for no logical reason whatsoever after shutting them in a room together) and anyone with a brain should be able to figure out that if someone robs you after a one night stand then ghosts you, they aren't actually into you. Sings about how what's between them is a 'lie' despite Stolas initiating it and deluding himself the whole time.
From then on nothing is his fault. He refuses to take any responsibility for his daughter running away and him somehow being unable to find her because he didn't memorize his own spells (he gets out half an apology for forgetting Astaroth's tears before the writing forces Via to let him off the hook). Sexualizes Blitzo some more after being told not to, right when Blitzo could have used some genuine support and comfort.
Spends the rest of the season having people come to his defense on his behalf and having his history with Blitzo being rewritten to include sweet offscreen phonecalls. Decides his cheating didn't matter because Stella never loved him - never mind that the family name is all she's got since she isn't royalty like him, and his adultery is making a joke out of her. Doesn't actually apologize for Ozzie's. Goes to Ozzie for a crystal then acts weirdly shy and says 'no, never that!' when Ozzie talks about lust despite lust being the defining feature of his relationship with Blitzo even into s2.
Is likely to spend the rest of the season shaming Blitzo for not loving him, barely doing anything to address Blitzo's problems with him...and then will promptly be rewarded with Blitzo's love, either because Blitzo gets jelaous when the plot hands him a new boyfriend or because Blitzo decides Stella abusing Stolas means he's a good person, actually
like when you lay it all out it's kind of impressive.
Season 1 is a mostly effective deep dive into why the main character is the way he is, why it's hurting him and an indictment on the current way he lives and behaves
Season 2 is non stop coddling of Stolas and hitting the nail of the viewers' memory of season 1 with the constant hammer of Nothing is Ever Stolas' Fault and You're Wrong if You Think Otherwise, We Called Striker a Bigot to Prove It
what's even more galling is that at least part of Blitzo's behavior is due to being raised in poverty by an abusive father who taught him stealing to get ahead was the right thing to do. part of the chip on his shoulder now is due to people underestimating imps (they don't run businesses often, according to Striker, and most other city imps we see are working low paid service jobs) and thinking they can treat them however they want. but the show will still attempt to frame Blitzo as being in the wrong when he acts out and have characters hold him to task, even if the writing is half-assed about it
meanwhile Stolas is a literal prince but he apparently can't bear the minimum amount of pushback from Blitzo. he's had the power to treat imps like objects his whole life but the show circa season 2 won't permit him to do anything but the minimum amount of introspection about it
God it’s enraging the more I read through this, and you can really tell rich people wrote it. Season one was fantastic, season two shat all over it because that one Erin frost fanart was eaten up like crack and made canon. (Sorry frost it’s not your fault)
Don’t act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to F you ok you make that really clear all the time
Is the best line in the show.
Sounds like you just hate him for being a prince
Is the worst. You could replace prince with “rich” “white” “a man”
Like holy shit you have an abrasive but endearing guy with friends in a tense precarious connection, but they fucking love him and he loves them despite his worsening quirks, with him honestly being the second most toxic one after Loona. Someone who’s been sexually objectified his whole life and just needs respect, affection, open communication, and gentle reassurance, but someone who can also keep his ego in check. Not someone who puts their needs over his and hates when he has feelings that aren’t convenient. Hears him out when he breaks down doesn’t shove him away.
Like hmm I dunno I’m just spit ballin here
“Why didn’t you try to tell me any of this?”
“Misunderstanding or no, it’s hard to just forgive you”
“What do you want, a medal?”
“You’re pretty good at this action hero bullshit”
“He earned it (love)”
Sorry I could talk about them for hours…they’re just so good together it hurts. Even as kids they bounced off each other but fizz kept him in check.
What he doesn’t need is mind games, public humiliation, a glorified martyr, somebody who demands constant favours and takes and takes until there’s nothing to give. And only reaffirms to him how much of a nothing he is when he has no right to do so. You aren’t owed a relationship. That’s monstrous. Stolas is literally an incel.
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iceeericeee · 5 months
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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rosielav · 7 months
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Bellefast has been coming to me in my dreams recently, in a similar way to how Monteith and Jibblie do
I find myself at The Circus, but in a sleeping quarter of some kind. And I can hear the festivities going on outside, in the big top. I'm apparently just passing through, but know everyone well enough that they let me stay on the property.
The only person I don't know is Bellefast, which is strange since he's the Ringleader, you tihnk I'd know him quite well, if I know all the clowns and performers and stagehands.
And he doesn't know me. So when he stumbles into the sleeping quarters, whiskey and candy floss on his breath, and falls into the bed, he's caught by surprise. As am I.
It feels like maybe a creative exercise? Maybe my brain wants to flesh this character out more, so it's putting him into my almost asleep brain so that I have to learn more about him.
So far I've learned he has a drinking problem.
#Rosie rambles#My dreams have been very strange lately especially my almost dreams like I'm about to fall asleep state#Whenever I describe things like this none of my friends think it's normal#Like to fall asleep I have all these situations play out and scenes and I don't have control over them#I can be like man I wish Monteith was here cause I can't sleep#And then Monteith will crawl out of the closet and Jibblie will be doing cartwheels on his shoulder#And he'll say something to me in a voice I never expect bc that's kind of his thing#And then usually Jibblie will do a trapeas act or something to keep my brain occupied#Trapese? Trapeese? I don't know how to spell it. You know the flips and shit#But the past two or three nights it's been Bellefast and I have little control over him#Meaning I can't think for him to say something or do something he just does what he wants#Which is to sleep. Drunkenly. Next to me#I didn't even mention his mind control powers but it's more like... Persuasion? Or like.. I want this#So you want this now too#Idk how to describe it exactly but it's kind of like Damien from The Bright Sessions except he uses it for good#...... Mostly. He mostly uses it for the big top performances and getting everyone genuinely excited about The Circus#He doesn't implant false feelings into your brain it's more like he coaxes out stuff like you WANT to be having a great time right now#So then they DO have a great time#I guess it's like releasing your inhibition? Versus mind control technically#But yea the drinking problem is more of a concern to me lol he relies on it after every performance regardless of the time of day#OC: Bellefast#I think I want to tag my OC places too#The Circus
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rose022 · 11 months
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just watched across the spiderverse
idk what i can say without spoiling buy uts literally so good and everyone should go see it.
in an age where ai is becoming bigger and possibly going to be used for art, and in an time where we need strikes due to poor treatment of those who create art, and especially as someone who loves the arts, in all forms (tv and movies, or books and literature, or drawing and painting, or music, or anything else) i haven't had much hope for the future of art and mainstream media. but this, this movie made me so hopeful. i was just blown away. i saw the last one in theaters too and was just as amazed then, but now things have changed in the world. yet this movie is here.
ok idk where im going with any of this i didn't mean to make this long. just go watch the movie please.
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churipu · 13 days
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SAY "DADA" 𓆝 ⋆。𖦹°‧
ִ ࣪𖤐 featuring. gojo satoru, toji fushiguro, nanami kento x fem! reader
ִ ࣪𖤐 warnings. toji cries but he doesn't admit it bye
note. i just spent a good hour watching the "glimpse of us" parents-baby trend, it's so cute. i just had to make something family themed for the jjk men :( i'm so sorry for the lack of updates, i just finished work and boy— it was stressful.
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𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔
"come on, little guy . . . say dada, da . . . da!" gojo nodded his head slowly, in his grasp stood his one year old son.
all he got in return was a loud strained laugh from the little boy, "it's okay, baby. take it slow, come on, dada . . . da . . ." the blue eyed male softly spells out the word.
"satoru, you've been trying for an hour now." you informed him, eyeing the father-son duo every now and then, "he's going to get it eventually . . ."
gojo chuckled, "i know, baby. 'm just so excited, what if he said his first words when 'm out on a mission," a sad smile etched onto his lips as he cradled the baby in his hold.
"dada!"
it took gojo a few seconds to process what his son just uttered in excitement. slowly, the corner of his lips tugged upwards in happiness — gojo cheers loudly, nuzzling his face into your son's little belly, making him craze out in pure euphoria.
"you just said your first word, good job, buddy! 'm so proud of you," gojo muffled out into the baby's tummy, "daddy's so proud of you."
gojo then faced you, "his first word is dada, i'm going to cry . . ."
to which he did, sniffling loudly — making the little boy imitate him, scrunching his face into a big frown before wailing out a loud cry. hearing your baby cry, gojo softly hushed him, patting his back, "no, no, baby. daddy's crying of happiness, not sadness, please don't cry."
"aren't you two just the cutest?" you asked, kissing the baby on his chubby cheek — calming him down almost immediately. his loud cries ceasing down under your touch.
"we are." gojo chuckled, nose raging red from sniffling mucus.
"please get rid of your snot, satoru . . ."
𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎
"come on, dada. say it." toji mutters, pulling on megumi's little cheek — gently, and the baby seemingly annoyed, swats off his father's giant fingers.
toji scoffed, "huh, wonder where y' got that attitude from."
you eyed him, "what do you mean? megumi's exactly just like you — i carry him for nine months and he ends up being a copy of you," you chuckled, ruffling megumi's hair.
the young ten month old baby crawled his way over to you, settling himself on his lap, eyeing his father sharply, "what're y'looking at, huh?"
instinctively you hit toji's bicep gently, "stop that."
"'m not doing anything . . ." toji replies back, rolling his eyes before crossing his arms, "stupid baby."
"dada!" megumi shrieks out, pointing his small finger accusingly at toji, a cute glare looming over his dark eyes, "dada!"
toji blinked once. twice. thrice, and he ended up scoffing, looking away from both you and megumi, "he said his first word, and it's me," toji mutters into his skin, clamping his palm over his lips as his elbow propped down onto the couch's hand rest.
"good job, 'gumi!" you cheered, raising the boy up in the air, kissing his cheek which made the baby erupt in small laughter.
megumi crunched his legs happily, yelling out gibberish with a mix of "dada dada!"
"that's right, dada!" you parrot happily, gently hopping with megumi in your arms. eyeing toji who had been silent, "toji, are you okay?"
he grunted, brushing his face with his hands, "do i not look okay?"
"did you cry?" you ask.
toji grunted yet again in disdain, "why would i cry because the brat said his first word?" he did.
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎
nanami sat on the floor cross-legged with his eleven month old daughter on his lap as he scanned the newspaper. at every page, his daughter didn't miss every spot on the dull colored paper, pointing at the paper and muttering out incoherent words.
"mhm, that's terrible news, isn't it?" he replies, sipping on his coffee mug.
you emerged from behind the bedroom door, hair disheveled, "good morning," you mumble out, wiping the back of your finger over your eyes.
"dada!"
you froze and eyed your daughter, and nanami did too. his head looked down onto the young girl in amusement, his gaze softening, "your first word . . ." he whispers, carrying the baby into his strong arms.
"you just said your first word, baby!" your raspy morning voice chirped, it was as if your exhaustion had disappeared in a heap of moments and you trotted down the ground, approaching the father-daughter.
"i'm so proud of you," nanami gently placed a kiss on top of his daughter's head, cradling her small body.
you were pulled into a hug by nanami, his arm wrapped around your shoulder and he pulled you to his side — his cheek leaning on your head in content, "good morning."
"dada dada!" your daughter cheered happily, patting nanami's face with her small hands.
"mhm, i'm dada, baby." he mumbles, letting the young girl do as she likes. you cooed softly at the sight, wrapping an arm around his waist.
a good morning it is.
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© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
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fatecantstopme · 4 months
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Spell Bound
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader
Summary: It's sex pollen...I couldn't help myself.
Warnings: cursing, use of pet names. An excessive amount of heavy SMUT, unprotected sex (P in V), rough sex, oral (F receiving), multiple cream pies
"I freaking hate witches," Dean mumbled as he picked the lock on the apartment door.
You chuckled softly, very used to hearing him grumble every time you were hunting a witch.
He slowly walked into the apartment and you followed in after him.
"So what exactly are we looking for?" you asked quietly.
"Big scary magic book. Sam said it's probably on or near some kind of altar."
"Big scary magic book," you muttered under your breath. "Makes perfect sense."
You sighed as you walked into the living room and noticed several bookcases lined with large books. "You've gotta be kidding me."
Dean shot you a weary smile. "Guess it might take a little longer than I thought."
"You think?"
You took one side of the room and Dean took the other. Sam had described the look of the book to the both of you, but there was really no way to be 100% certain if you found it.
About 15 minutes into your perusal, you spotted a large leather-bound book tucked under what appeared to be an altar cloth. You slowly removed the cloth, wary of what you might uncover. The book was almost exactly as Sam had described, so you had a feeling it was the right one.
"I think I found it," you said aloud.
At almost the same exact moment, a crash sounded from behind you and Dean let out a string of curses.
You spun around to see the hunter brushing off some sort of florescent pink dust from his face. "What the hell did you do?"
"I was moving some of the books and this box fell out and some powder just kinda...sprayed my face."
"Seriously?"
He looked sheepish. "I didn't even see it."
You sighed. "Great. God only knows what the hell that was."
He looked at the box carefully, but there was nothing written on it to identify the powdery substance he had inhaled. He gave you another sheepish look and shrugged. "Maybe it's not harmful."
You shot him a stony look. "Dean...it's a witch. It's not gonna be fairy dust."
He sighed, knowing you were right. He started shifting his shoulders a bit as if he was uncomfortable.
"Let's get out of here. I'll call Sam on the way back to the motel and see if he has any idea what it could be."
Dean nodded and followed you out the door. By the time you got outside the building and to the car, he was twitching like an addict in need of a fix.
"Dean?" you asked tentatively.
"My skin feels like it's on fire and--and it's like--itchy. And there's a weird feeling inside that I can't describe, but it doesn't feel nice."
"Okay...how 'bout I drive?"
He looked up at you with concerned eyes, but he handed you the keys and got into the passenger seat. You knew he must really be feeling terrible if he was letting you drive Baby.
You started the car up and pulled out of the parking spot while simultaneously calling Sam on your cell. He answered on the third ring.
"Dean got some sort of witchy powder on his face and now he's...itchy?" you said quickly in lieu of a greeting.
Sam sighed. "What are his symptoms?"
You put the phone on speaker. "Dean, what are your symptoms?"
Dean couldn't look at you and when he spoke, his voice was barely above a growl. "I feel like crawling out of my own skin, everything aches, and I'm having a hard time breathing right. Oh and I can literally smell (Y/N)'s skin, which is totally not normal!"
"You can smell my skin?"
He grumbled under his breath. "I can smell your skin and your shampoo and your goddamn body wash, and I want--fuck. What the hell is wrong with me, Sam?"
"Uh, I honestly don't know. Let me call Bobby and see if he has any ideas."
You set the phone down on the seat beside you. "Maybe you're turning into some kind of animal?"
"What?"
"Well, I mean...you can smell me...which is weird and kind of--animalistic."
"I don't think that's it," he said harshly. "My body is aching in a way I can't even begin to describe to you, but I don't think I'm morphing into anything."
You eyed him carefully, worry etched into your face. He was your closest friend and trusted hunting partner, and you hated seeing him like this. Witches scared the shit out of you...you knew what they were capable of.
"Maybe drive a little faster," he hissed.
You pressed harder on the gas and the Impala shot down the road. When your phone rang, you answered it immediately.
"So I think I might know what it is, but I have something I need to ask Dean first," Sam said.
"Okay." You looked at Dean. "Can you hold the phone? Sam wants to ask you something."
Dean took the phone from your hand, hissing as his skin made contact with yours. "What?" he grumbled.
"This is gonna be awkward, but I need to know, okay? Do you feel--umm--aroused at all?"
Dean was silent for a moment as he let his brother's question sink in. Ohhh fuuuuck, he thought to himself. He glanced down at his jeans and noticed the bulge straining against them. With the intense pain he was experiencing, he hadn't really noticed. "Son of a bitch," he mumbled. "Yeah."
"Okay, well the good news is, I know what it is. It's called sex pollen."
"It's called what?"
"Sex pollen. The name doesn't really matter, but you have all the symptoms. They're only going to get worse until--well until you die."
"Die? Is there a cure?"
You looked over at Dean in terror, your foot pressing down even further on the pedal. Dean's hand was shaking slightly as he put the phone on speaker so you could hear.
"You have to--uhh--well--shit. You have to umm...fuck it out."
"I have to what?"
"Dude, I know, okay? But you don't have a choice. If you don't you'll die a rather painful death."
"Son of a bitch," Dean said again. "Can I, umm, take care of it myself?"
"According to what Bobby read, the only option is actual intercourse with another person."
"How long do I have?"
You were acutely aware of Dean's close proximity to you, and now you understood the nature of his pain. Your own breathing was more labored, but you desperately tried to maintain control of yourself. Don't make it weird, (Y/N), you thought to yourself.
"30 minutes from the time of contact until...until death," Sam answered.
"30 minutes?" you gasped. You started doing the math in your head as Dean continued talking to his brother. "We have maybe 10 more minutes until we get back to the motel and that leaves about 10 until..."
Dean looked over at you, his normally green eyes dark with need. "I'm so fucked," he muttered.
"That doesn't really leave us time to find someone for you to--you know," you said worriedly.
"Shit."
"Might wanna make it fast," Sam said.
"Obviously," Dean snapped. "How long will it take to...get out of my system?"
"That depends," Sam began. "If it's meaningless, one and done. If it's someone you care about...that's another story."
"Another story?"
"It could take a lot longer."
"Great," you mumbled.
"Sam, don't be there when we get there," Dean growled at his brother before hanging up the phone.
"Dean?" you questioned softly.
"Just drive, (Y/N)."
You continued driving, but your focus was most definitely not on the road. You could hear the heavy breathing and the soft pained sounds coming from the man beside you and it made it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything else. It certainly didn't help that you had wanted him for years and seeing him like this was making you feel things you absolutely shouldn't be feeling.
Dean flirted with you regularly, but he flirted with almost every person he came into contact with. It's just a part of his personality, so you never read into it. While Dean quite obviously adored you (and you him), you were not his type. You were a good fighter, sure, but where you really excelled was research. You were brilliant--almost as knowledgable as Bobby, though you still had plenty to learn. You were also significantly more--voluptuous than the women Dean gravitated to. Soft, chubby, more to love--whatever you wanna call it. As such, you'd never made any sort of move to announce your feelings for him. You didn't want to face his rejection.
"Sweetheart, if you don't speed up, I'm liable to die before we make it there," Dean hissed.
You shot him a look. "We're less than two minutes away, so don't die on me yet, Winchester."
He exhaled sharply and nodded. "I'm not gonna make it either way, (Y/N). Like you said, we don't have enough time to find a, uh--partner."
You took a deep breath. "I can't let you die."
He looked over at you and you felt his gaze boring right into your soul. "I can't do that to you."
"I really don't see how we have much of a choice here."
You pulled into the motel parking lot before he could respond.
"Let's go," you said quickly as you got out of the car and made your way to your room.
Dean was right behind you, so close you could feel his breath on the back of your neck. As soon as the door was unlocked, Dean was pushing you through it and locking it behind you.
"Shit," he muttered. "I don't wanna hurt you."
"It's okay, Dean," you said softly. "I'm not afraid."
His eyes widened and he grabbed your chin. "You should be...I'm going to lose control."
"It's alright...use me."
He let out a low growl and squeezed your chin tighter. "I--I won't be able to make this good for you."
You pressed yourself against his body, feeling the hard ridges against you. "It's not about me. You need this."
That was all it took for Dean to let go. His lips attacked yours with a hunger you were not expecting despite the intensity of the situation. He was not at all gentle as he tore your clothes from your body, ripping his own off with equal force.
He tossed you down on the bed with shocking ease. He had absolutely no difficulty manhandling you. You weren't sure if it was the sex pollen or just him.
His lips and hands were everywhere, touching every inch of your soft skin he could possibly reach. He needed to be inside of you so badly it was almost impossible to breathe. His skin burned with each touch and his instincts screamed at him to just break you.
He moves his way down your body and you're surprised as he stops just above your core. "Dean, what are you doing?" You knew he needed a release--and soon--or he wasn't gonna make it.
A voice in the back of his mind kept reminding him this was (Y/N), his (Y/N). Even in his current state, he wanted to avoid hurting you if he could. "Need to get you ready," he grunted.
The words were barely out of his mouth before he was devouring your pussy. The sounds he made were incredible, the feeling almost electrifying. He slid two fingers in and moved them in a scissoring motion to help loosen you up.
He was only down there for a 30 seconds before he came up and locked eyes with you. "I can't hold off anymore."
You nodded. "Just let go. I'll be okay."
He knew the moment he slid inside you, he'd be a goner. Whatever tiny amount of self control he'd managed to hang onto would disappear in an instant. But he could also feel the roaring agony inside him and he needed to feed it before it devoured him.
"I'm sorry," he whispered against your ear a split second before he sheathed himself fully inside you.
You cried out--pain mixing with pleasure as his large member stretched you in ways you'd never before experienced.
Dean couldn't give you time to adjust--he was too far gone. His hips began to move and his sole focus was on his own pleasure--his own release.
His thrusts were powerful and fast, so much so that your body started to scoot farther up the bed. He grabbed your hips and held you in place, pace never faltering. The sensations were almost painful given his size, but you wouldn't have stopped him even if you could have.
"Fuck, baby--you feel so good," he grunted.
You were more than a little surprised when he spoke--you hadn't pegged him as a dirty talker. Then again, it could very well have been the pollen. The same could be said of the sounds coming from his mouth. You'd never heard such sinful noises and you loved them.
"So tight--squeezing me so good. Feels like heaven."
You squeezed his cock purposefully, making him groan each time you clenched down. He needed his release and you were gonna make sure he got it. Your own enjoyment was far from your mind--this was essentially a transaction--a lifesaving measure. You had to view it that way to protect your heart...at least that's what you told yourself.
"Baby," he moaned. "Imma fill you up--so close."
Despite the voice in your head telling you this wasn't real--that you shouldn't have any emotional attachments--you reached up and touched his face, caressing it lovingly. "Cum for me, Dean," you whispered.
His eyes locked on yours and he bit his lip--hearing you say his name in the heat of the moment was a bigger turn on than he'd ever imagined. It pushed him right over the edge and he spilled inside of you with a grunt.
You lay beneath him, panting despite the minimal exertion on your part. He'd had his orgasm, but he was still moving, much to your surprise. "You're not done--?"
He shook his head. "Need more."
He pulled out and quickly flipped you over with no warning. You instinctively lifted your hips to allow him access, which he took without hesitation. His cock was still throbbing and the need still burned in his veins. His mind remained singularly focused on his relief--his pleasure.
He slammed into your pussy and set a brutal pace, earning a cry of pain from your lips. This new angle allowed him better access, sending his cock deeper inside of you. His head brushed against your cervix with each thrust, a stinging pain accompanying the pleasure.
Dean's large palm came down on your ass with a hard smack, eliciting a gasp of surprise from your lips. Your pussy clamped down on his cock as he landed another slap to your round cheek.
"Fuck baby, you like that don't you?" Smack. "You like it when I slap this sexy ass?" Smack. "Fuck--squeezing me so tight, sweetheart." Smack.
He was right though, you loved it. You always had, but there was something extra enjoyable about having your ass smacked by Dean Fucking Winchester. Even if you couldn't verbally express your pleasure to him, your pussy made it well-known.
Dean's right hand gripped your hips tightly, pulling you flush against him as he continued pumping. His left hand trailed up your back until he grabbed a fist full of hair at the base of your neck and pulled. Your head snapped back and you cried out, but you didn't fight him.
"Do you know how badly I've wanted to pull this hair, pretty girl? Fuck--I think about it all the time." His pace was relentless and his hand remained entangled in your hair.
You'd never really noticed him looking at your hair in any particular way, so you assumed once again the pollen was making him say such dirty little things.
After several more thrusts, Dean let go of your hair and pushed down on your upper back, forcing you to press your upper body into the mattress. Dean gripped your hips with both of his hands and slammed into you with an intensity that was unmatched by any of his previous actions.
You had a feeling he was close to another orgasm, at least if his grunts and curses were anything to go by. You clenched down around him again, intent on pushing him past the brink.
It worked like a charm. Dean came with a cry of your name, thrusts continuing as he emptied inside of you once again.
You were exhausted and you hadn't had a single orgasm. Part of you really hoped Dean had gotten it all out of his system, but another part of you didn't want this to end. Even if it wasn't real--even if he didn't actually want to be having sex with you, you liked pretending, if only for a little while.
Dean pulled out of you slowly and rolled you over with a surprising gentleness. You assumed that meant he was satiated and the pollen was out of his system.
When you met his eyes, you were surprised by how brilliantly green they were. You'd almost gotten used to the dark forest color that had taken over as a result of the pollen. He was looking at you with an odd expression you couldn't quite place, but for some reason it made you want to scurry away and hide.
"Better?" you whispered.
He cocked his head to the side and a small smirk played on his lips. "Not even close," he murmured.
His lips met yours in a fiery kiss before you had time to respond. Unlike the previous kisses, this one was more passionate, more intense. It made your body tingle all over and a warmth spread through your veins.
Dean's brain fog had finally cleared enough that he could actually slow down and focus on what was happening--on what he was doing, or rather who. He hated that he'd cum twice without even thinking about you, let alone making you orgasm. Dean prided himself on being an excellent lover and he wasn't about to let you leave this bed unsatisfied.
His cock brushed against your pussy as he shifted to hold you closer. You both inhaled sharply, enjoying the sensation. Dean's lips began to travel down your neck, leaving soft, wet kisses in his wake. He nipped at your pulse point, earning an excited moan from you. He liked hearing that sound, so he sucked on that spot until you were panting heavily beneath him.
His hands traveled over your soft curves, touching and squeezing all the parts of your body you were self-conscious about. Dean didn't seem to give a damn that your stomach wasn't flat, that your hips weren't narrow and your thighs weren't skinny--in fact, he seemed to be reveling in the feeling of softness.
His lips were so gentle as he continued his downward movements. He kissed and licked and sucked on each of your breasts, spending several minutes focusing on each one. "You have such perfect breasts," he murmured.
You were too surprised, and perhaps too lost in pleasure, to formulate any kind of response to his words. Luckily, he didn't seem to need one, and he refocused his attention on you.
Once he was satisfied your breasts had received enough love, he continued moving down your stomach, stopping to place soft kisses to every mark and scar he saw.
When he reached your sweet pussy, he spread your legs as wide as he could and settled down between them. You were surprised at his actions, especially since you knew he was still hard--that he still needed another release.
Dean was now singularly focused on one thing--and that was you. Now that his damn brain was working properly, he wanted to make sure you enjoyed this--even if it was a one time thing because you didn't want him to die, he wasn't about to walk away from this without making you scream his name at least once.
He breathed in deeply, smelling your arousal mixed with his own spend, and he smirked. His eyes flicked up to yours and his mouth latched onto your clit, unleashing an overwhelming assault on your swollen mound.
You gasped as the sudden pleasure washed over you. You couldn't take your eyes off the man between your legs--nor did he take his eyes off you. Every time your hips bucked or you tried to move, his strong arms held you in place so he could continue to watch you.
You were writhing against the sheets in what felt like seconds--it was probably longer, but either way you felt embarrassed at how quickly you fell apart under his touch. Your orgasm tore through you like a hurricane, broken moans dripping from your lips.
To your shock, and perhaps concern, Dean didn't stop his assault on your pussy. Even as you tried to squirm away, he held you in place, desperate to give you another orgasm. You whimpered that it was too much, begged him to give you a break, but all of those words quickly morphed into pleas to keep going--don't stop.
"Dean," you gasped as your fingers slipped into his hair, grabbing hold of the short locks by the roots. Your nails scrapped lightly against his scalp and he let out a soft groan.
His tongue seemed to dance across your clit, creating beautiful designs and languages only he seemed to know. He paid attention to what motions made you quiver, which ones made you moan, and which ones had you tugging on his hair with an iron grip.
"Dean, please--I--so close," you moaned.
He smiled, enjoying the immense pleasure he was giving you just as much as you seemed to enjoy it. A few moments later, you were once again coming apart against his mouth and he eagerly lapped up everything you had to give him.
This time as you tugged on his hair and squirmed away, he obliged, lifting himself up from between your thighs. He licked his lips as he looked down at your blissed out face.
"You taste like heaven, baby," he murmured. "Wanna taste?"
Your pretty (y/e/c) eyes widened and you nodded hesitantly. He smiled wolfishly as he leaned down to kiss you, tongue invading your mouth almost instantly, allowing you to taste yourself.
You moaned into the kiss and he held you even more tightly, lips sealed to yours like he needed your air to breathe.
He wasn't entirely sure how he'd managed to control his urges long enough to coax two orgasms from you, but he could feel that control waning. "I need you, baby," he whispered against your lips. "I need you so badly."
You looked up at him, a small smile playing on your lips. You lifted your hips to brush against his cock and he groaned at the contact. You nipped at his jaw and pulled him back down to you. "Fuck me, Dean. Please."
He groaned. "Yes ma'am."
He didn't hesitate as he gripped his cock firmly and lined it up with your entrance. He slipped inside easily, having plenty of lubrication to assist him. Despite having been inside of you multiple times at this point, he was still taken aback by how fucking incredible you felt.
"God, I love this pussy," he murmured. "She was made for me."
You moaned softly at his words and the feeling of him inside you once again. As he started to move, he was much more gentle and you found yourself enjoying the sensations--perhaps more than you should.
"You're so good for me, (Y/N)," Dean mumbled, already lost in the feeling of you.
You would have given anything to hear him say that, but the words broke your heart a little. Had he had any other choice, he likely wouldn't be here right now--you wouldn't be the one he was fucking.
"Hey," he whispered, a rough, calloused hand running along your cheek as he looked at you. "Where's that pretty little head at?"
You smiled at him. "Right here, Dean."
Somewhere inside of him, he knew you were lying, but the damn pollen was still affecting his senses. He accepted your response and went back to his actions, focusing on the feeling of your pussy wrapped around his cock like a vise.
He wanted to feel you cum one more time...wanted to feel the way you'd squeeze his cock as you came. He wanted to watch you come undone beneath him, lost in pleasure he gave you.
He grabbed a pillow and gently lifted your hips, sliding the pillow under them. This provided him a new, improved angle, allowing him to cage you beneath him and hit that sweet spot inside you.
"Dean!" you gasped as the first thrust hit your g-spot.
He grinned and picked up his pace, slamming into it repeatedly. Each thrust sent you closer to the edge of an orgasm you knew would ruin you. Dean Winchester already made you feel things no other man ever had and his ability in bed was no exception. Damn him.
His thrusts were firm and measured, each one sending wave after wave of pleasure crashing through your body. The familiar tightening in your gut was so intense you thought you might actually explode.
Dean's strong arms were on either side of your head and he was looking down at you with that same strange expression from earlier. "You're so damn beautiful, baby. I wanna watch this pretty face as you cum for me."
You gasped, unprepared for the way his words made you feel. You felt emboldened, so you asked for what you needed. "I need more, Dean."
His hand slipped between your bodies, a single finger gently massaging your clit as he continued to fuck you. "That better, baby?"
You nodded rapidly, earning a soft chuckle from his sweet lips.
"You gonna cum for me beautiful?"
You nodded again.
"Yeah? I want you to keep those pretty eyes open when you cum, okay? Wanna see you fall apart."
"Dean..." you whispered.
"I know, sweet girl. I've got you."
Your brain seemed to short-circuit in that moment. All you could feel was a blinding hot pressure immediately followed by an intense euphoria. You heard someone scream "Dean!" and you belatedly realized it had been your voice.
The intensity of your orgasm sent Dean spiraling over the edge of his own. He hadn't even been prepared for it--the mixture of you screaming his name and the sensations of you squeezing him so tightly and the gorgeous way your face contorted as you came was all he needed.
He emptied into you a third and final time, his cock finally beginning to soften as he helped you ride out your high.
He pulled out and flopped down beside you on the bed, his body aching from what had to be some of the best sex of his life--sex pollen or not.
You were just as sore as Dean--probably more so given you literally couldn't move. The two of you laid there in silence, slowly coming down from the electrical highs you'd experienced, both trying to catch your breath for the first time in what felt like hours.
Dean was the first to recover. "Did I hurt you?" he asked so softly you almost didn't hear him.
You turned your head to look at him and your heart clenched at the expression on his face. He was genuinely worried, brows furrowed in concern. You contemplated lying to him, but you knew he'd see right through you.
"A little," you said honestly.
He winced and his beautiful eyes closed. "I'm so sorry, (Y/N)--I would never hurt you on purpose--ever."
You offered him a small smile he couldn't see, until your hand touched his cheek and he opened his eyes again. "I know."
There were a thousand other things you wanted to say--a thousand words you wanted to string together into just the right sentences, but you couldn't. You wouldn't put yourself through it.
"Shower?" he asked softly.
"I honestly don't think I can stand."
A smirk played on his lips. "That should not make me feel so damn good."
You laughed lightly, glad to hear the teasing tone in his voice that you loved so much.
He managed to pull himself into a sitting position. "It's not ideal, but there is a bathtub..." he trailed off.
"I wouldn't mind a bath," you admitted.
He nodded and got to his feet. He was a little unsteady at first, but managed to make his way to the bathroom. You heard the water running as he filled up the tub.
You laid there thinking about everything that had just happened. This was a position you'd never imagined you'd be in--with anyone, let alone Dean Winchester.
You knew this wasn't something you were going to be able to forget about, but you hoped things would go back to normal between the two of you and eventually this would just be a funny story.
Suddenly, Sam's words from earlier snapped into your mind. "If it's meaningless, one and done. If it's someone you care about...that's another story."
One and done...one and done. This most definitely had not been a 'one and done' scenario. But didn't that mean...? No. No way. Impossible. Dean Winchester does NOT have feelings for you.
You began to rationalize your thought process. Maybe "care about" included a friendly relationship. Yeah...yeah that made the most sense. Of course Dean cares about you. You're his best friend. There couldn't possibly be anything more to it...right?
As if on cue, Dean stepped back into the room. "Bath's ready."
"Okay." You tried to pull yourself up, but you immediately fell back against the mattress, body too worn out to sustain any kind of movement.
Dean chuckled lightly and came up to the side of the bed. He pulled the pillow out from under your hips and slipped his arms under your body, hoisting you up bridal style.
"Jesus!" you yelled. "Put me down! I'm too heavy--you'll throw out your back."
Dean laughed. "Calm down, (Y/N). I just threw you around this bed repeatedly with zero issues. I promise I can carry you to the bathroom without dying."
"But--"
He glared at you and tightened his grip on you as if to prove his point. "Ain't a damn thing wrong with your body, so shut it."
Your mouth closed immediately. His words sent a jolt directly to your core and you were almost annoyed by it. As if three orgasms wasn't enough...
Dean very gently set you on your feet in the bathroom and slowly helped you into the tub. As soon as he got you into a seated position, he got into the tub as well, slipping in behind you.
"Umm...whatcha doing?"
"Taking a bath."
"Isn't the tub a bit small for both of us?"
You could feel him shrug behind you. "I think it's perfect size. Now come here." He grabbed your shoulders and gently pulled you back so you were laying against his chest. "That's better," he muttered.
Your mind began to race once again as you laid there, body tense and uncomfortable.
"Okay, (Y/N), I know you better than anyone, so don't you dare lie to me. Where's your head at?"
"I--" you sighed. "I'm not really sure how to feel."
He nodded. "I know you didn't want this--I feel like I had to literally force myself onto you and I hate that. I know you only agreed so I wouldn't die, but--"
"Woah--stop." You sat up and turned your head to face him. "That's not true at all. You didn't force me to do anything."
"Okay, maybe 'force' is the wrong word...but you did have sex with me to save my life. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"
"I'm painfully aware," you muttered.
He ran his hand over his face. "I'm not saying any of this right."
"Then what are you trying to say?"
He bit his lip. "Remember what Sammy said? About...how long the effects would last?"
You nodded.
"Well in case you didn't notice, I had three orgasms."
"Both me and my very sore vagina noticed," you said lightly.
He sighed. "Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, (Y/N)?"
You turned a little more so you could see his face better. He had that same look he'd had when he was making you feel incredible. "I need to hear you say it..." you whispered.
He nodded and leaned forward so his face was mere inches from yours. "He didn't mean 'care' as in 'we're friends, so I care about you'...he meant 'care' as in 'love'."
Your lips parted and you inhaled sharply.
"So you see, I don't just care about you as a friend...and I don't just love you as a friend...I'm in love with you."
"You--you love me?"
"In love," he repeated. "For as long as I can remember."
"You're in love--with me?"
He chuckled softly. "Who else would I be talking to, baby? Yes, I'm in love with you."
"I--I don't know--" you stuttered.
"The only thing you need to know is how you feel. Do you know how you feel about me, (Y/N)?" he whispered.
You nodded slowly.
"And?"
"I'm in love with you too."
He grinned widely. "Yeah?"
You nodded, cheeks turning red.
He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you back against him. He looked down at you with that expression he'd been wearing and you suddenly realized what it was...it was love--real, true, beautiful, heart aching love.
He leaned down and placed a soft kiss to your lips, which you returned in kind. He held you tightly, loving the feeling of your body in his arms.
"We better get cleaned up before this water gets cold," he said softly, lips pressing to your hair.
"Mhmm," you hummed.
He chuckled. "Don't you dare fall asleep on me, babe."
"But I'm comfortable," you whined.
He smiled against your cheek. "Give me five minutes to clean you up and then we can sleep, okay?"
You looked over at him and smiled. "Deal."
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boxingcleverrr · 5 months
Text
Popular Hades & Persephone "retellings" are, rightly, getting dunked on all over the socials right now and, as a Pagan who has an altar to the Queen, I could not be happier. But also, I feel like a lot of people miss WHY they're bad - aside from just plain bad writing and lazy tropes. Which are, yeah, also REALLY bad.
Pretty much all retellings try to wave away, or excuse, or twist the whole kidnapping bit. And I actually do have sympathy and understanding for why, when speaking from a modern perspective.
But honestly...you gotta get over it. There are other stories to play fix-it with, not this one.
The Abduction is The Thing.
Were I a little more sober I could bring up chapter and verse of the Hymn to Demeter but frankly, if you know even the middle school mythology curriculum version of the story, you SHOULD know the themes. The story of Persephone was one mothers and daughters in the ancient world held dear, because it was a reality: you will, one day, be swept away from your home to go cleave to a man you most likely know nothing about. You will miss your mother, but chances are very good that he will be a good husband, once you get to know him, certainly better than Zeus or Ares, and he will make you a queen of his home.
Leaving home to marry was often scary, and violent (look up the history of the tradition of Bridesmaids, if you don't already know it - they were originally decoys on the marriage road). Centuries later we'd have tales like Beauty & The Beast serving the same function: comfort, hope, you are leaving your safe loving home to figure life out with a (often older, powerful) stranger. Your trauma over this sudden ending of your childhood made manifest in a Beast, or a God of The Underworld.
It's wonderful that we don't NEED stories like this anymore to comfort us (here, at least, in this culture). But if you try to force them into modern vernacular it just will not work, not really, because you're gutting out the whole point just to have a more tidy romantic male hero.
I have read MANY very good ...novelizations? fanfic(? however you would frame them, but they're certainly not "retellings"), etc. that simply take advantage of the blank spaces in the myth, and there are many!
It's not explicit that sexual assault happens - "The Rape of Persephone" as a title was coined in much earlier eras, when the word was just as often used to simply refer to abduction.
"She was starving!" the gods didn't need to eat. So it's easy to read her eating the Pom seeds as a deliberate choice on her part. Like, shit, people, scholars have written whole papers on the symbolism of this moment, between marriage rites and even yeah, Seph choosing both worlds with her husband's knowing consent.
And that, I think, is the real heart of the thing. People want an utterly mundane, spelled-out story here, as opposed to what it really is, has always been, just like any other myth or religious parable: IT'S A METAPHOOOOOOR.
They don't need to be destined, or meet at a goddamned BALL and then CONSPIRE to fake her kidnapping, or shit, I once saw one where Hades got MIND CONTROLLED by Zeus?! Jesus.
Persephone was yoinked into the Underworld against her will.
That's how it went.
I don't mean this in a "stay out of my belief system!" way, shit I'm a white American chick with delusions of witchery. I mean this in a "stop stressing yourself out trying to make things palatable" way:
This is a very real, very precious myth to many people, BECAUSE for at least that one event, Persephone had no autonomy, BECAUSE for thousands of years most women had no autonomy. Erasing that, sanitizing the fact that a girl is ripped out of the spring, from her mother's arms, is erasing the thing that gave comfort to women for centuries. And people can and should still find power and healing in it now!
Fill in the blanks the story leaves in whatever manner seems fit to you, there's plenty of room, but. Come the fuck on.
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astonmartinii · 1 month
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fatherhood looks good on you | george russell social media au
pairing: george russell x fem albon reader
there comes a point in the relationship where you take it to the next level
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
- part of the brother's best friend series -
yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 783,409 others
tagged: georgerussell63
yourusername: looking so good i want to give you a baby
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user1: WHAT
user2: we really be saying anything on the internet these days
alexalbon: SHUT THE FUCK UP THE LITERAL ONLY RULE OF THIS RELATIONSHIP WAS THAT YOU KEEP THIS SHIT TO YOURSELVES
yourusername: gosh a girl can't have baby fever in peace these days
alexalbon: unless that baby is coming by stork you can put that talk on hold real fast
yourusername: just because lily is busy does not mean you have to take it out on me and george
georgerussell63: alex is it illegal for a man to be handsome?
alexalbon: if it's illegal to be handsome, you'd have the cleanest record known to man
yourusername: STOP RIGHT THERE DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT LYING IS A SIN
alexalbon: i'm not going to say YOUR boyfriend is hot, no.
yourusername: just because i got in there first 🙄
user3: i don't think she's serious but also george with a baby is just too cute not to happen
user4: george is the perf instagram boyf like he's so ready to pose
landonorris: well that definitely is something we all want to know
yourusername: i know you would LOVE to know ALL the details norris
georgerussell63: she's never going to let your crush go lando, you gotta just hold it
landonorris: i was THIRTEEN
yourusername: you don't love me anymore? 😕
landonorris: i don't know why i always get in these arguments with you
user5: i love how george just instigates things for y/n lmao
user6: your boyfriend should always support your mess
liked by yourusername
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georgerussell63
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liked by lewishamilton, alexalbon and 1,209,458 others
tagged: yourusername
georgerussell63: fatherhood is a different beast
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user8: alright i am so confused
user9: there's no way y/n can actually be pregnant i saw her down at least three pornstar martinis in hospitality this weekend
alexalbon: this better be a joke or i'm gonna kick you so hard you get a free non-reversible vasectomy
yourusername: stop the violence!
alexalbon: THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR GLEE REFERENCES
yourusername: someone is channelling some serious sue vibes right now
georgerussell63: let it be known i like my reproductive systems the way they are
alexalbon: that's kind of the point of a threat, you aren't supposed to want it
yourusername: he likes threats if they come from the right person
alexalbon: i am about one more comment away from knocking down your hotel room door and throwing george from the balcony
yourusername: and deprive our child from a father... alex i expected better from you
alexalbon: that's it i'm on my way
georgerussell63: @mercedesamgf1 PLEASE PROTECT ME I AM PRECIOUS CARGO
user10: these bitches got me actually combing through tiktoks and hospitality menus to see if y/n was actually drinking
user11: i'm gonna be real angry if this is all a big joke
user12: i know kimi antonelli is young but this is NAWT the way to announce him for 2025
charles_leclerc: guys i need you to spell everything out i am confused
georgerussell63: no can do charles you gotta follow the breadcrumbs just like everyone else
yourusername: it's right there sharl
charles_leclerc: actually alex, wait, i'm coming with you these hoes are annoying me
landonorris: don't forget me
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yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, maxverstappen1 and 1,409,556 others
tagged: georgerussell63
yourusername: our baby is here!
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user15: A CAT?
user16: i just knew george russell would be a ragdoll girl
georgerussell63: they were right i AM a girl dad
yourusername: finally dilf status
georgerussell63: a title i do not take lightly
yourusername: i can confirm libido has gone UP since becoming parents!
landonorris: shut THE FUCK UP
yourusername: you'll understand in time lando
georgerussell63: you just found yourself at the bottom of the babysitting list
landonorris: i don't want to look after it
yourusername: IT? IT? HOW DARE YOU?
georgerussell63: she can hear you lando that's so disrespectful :(
landonorris: ??? i'm not saying sorry to a cat over instagram comment
georgerussell63: expect the same courtesy when i take you out first corner next weekend
user17: i fear that was not a threat but a promise from george
user18: it's kinda hot
liked by yourusername
alexalbon: NEW ALBON PETS LORE AND NONE OF YOU TOLD ME
yourusername: ella can't wait to meet the gang
alexalbon: no offence but ella is kinda a shit name
yourusername: short for mozzarella
alexalbon: i take it back
georgerussell63: cause she's the lil pearl of our life
alexalbon: i love her already
user19: so we went through all this tomfoolery for a cat? a cat called mozzarella?
user20: you have to agree it's iconic
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alexalbon
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liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 889,304 others
tagged: georgerussell63 & yourusername
alexalbon: i knew @albon_pets would get george at some point
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user22: i love how alex became the chill guy again after it was revealed he was not yet an uncle
georgerussell63: hard on the yet
alexalbon: too soon george
user23: the albon pets signature of approval is a bigger sign that george is in the gamily than if he actually proposed to y/n
user24: they've got a baby now he's an albon
yourusername: horsey is going to kick off over having to share george with me and mozzie
albon_pets: bring it on - horsey
yourusername: alex i'm not arguing with you pretending to be horsey, this ain't roscoe and lewis
lewishamilton: rude
roscoelovescoco: meanie
yourusername: did you just call me mean as your dog?
lewishamilton: you were extra mean
yourusername: fine lets let mozzie and roscoe scrap it out at silverstone - she's got the sass of both me and george btw x
lewishamilton: stay AWAY FROM MY DOG
user25: the merc garage gonna be a whole petting zoo at silverstone i can't
user26: you wanna catch up with red bull? sell meet and greet tickets to the petting zoo
maxverstappen1: this is my official invitation to a play date with jimmy and sassy
yourusername: WE'LL BE THERE
maxverstappen1: is mozzarella civilised?
georgerussell63: of course my child has manners?
maxverstappen1: you crash into people all the time, i had to check
georgerussell63
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liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 896,045 others
tagged: yourusername
georgerussell63: all of the family here for the home race
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user27: y/n wearing mozzarella in a baby harness i need to be put down
user28: that really is their child oh my
yourusername: make our baby proud georgie
georgerussell63: anything for you two xx
alexalbon: why do i never get these nice comments
yourusername: they're transmitted through our genes x
yourusername: also george more important 👍🏻
alexalbon: i'm literally your brother? your flesh and blood?
yourusername: george cuter
georgerussell63: can't argue with that
alexalbon: well of course he is this ain't alabama. (sorry logan)
logansargent: i'm from florida?
yourusername: even worse, my condolences
georgerussell63: can we get back to talking about how dashing i am?
yourusername: yes!
alexalbon: NO. SAY GOOD LUCK Y/N
yourusername: good luck y/n
alexalbon: what if i crash and you never said good luck, think about it y/n
yourusername: good luck alex (you're an asshole for weaponising the sport (and you being shit at it))
user29: i think i had about three strokes trying to follow this argument
user30: poor logan is just a victim of the albons at this point
landonorris: have a baby and forget about the rest of us, i see how it is
yourusername: you will never measure up to mozzie lando i hope you know that
georgerussell63: what y/n means is that i love my friends, but a child is a gift from god
landonorris: it's a cat. she can't even talk
yourusername: and yet she makes better points than you, makes you think
yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 834,019 others
tagged: georgerussell63
yourusername: fatherhood looks good on you
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user31: mozzarella is so big already 🥹
user32: maybe i'm worse than them cause i'm attached to mozzie as well
georgerussell63: no one else i'd rather be cat parents to
yourusername: you're such a romantic
georgerussll63: such a pleasure to take this next step with the love of my life
yourusername: i love you more
georgerussell63: not possible
alexalbon: you being gross about mozzie was better than what ever the fuck this is
yourusername: @lilymunhe does he not treat you right?
lilymunhe: he's a romantic really, he's just exhausting the protective big brother act until george finally proposes
alexalbon: sue me
maxverstappen1: still waiting on the play date ...
yourusername: monaco?
maxverstappen1: done
yourusername: jimmy, sassy and ella will be like the charlie's angles reincarnated
georgerussell63: can't wait for you to see her IMPECCABLE manners
maxverstappen1: okay princess george
yourusername: hey only i can call george princess
maxverstappen1: you keep that to yourself
user33: disappointed that with all the tomfoolery around mozzie that there was no maternity photoshoots
yourusername: oh do not give me a challenge...
fin.
note: NEW SERIES ALERT? i'll create a masterlist after i post this. i hope you enjoyed, this one is more of a tame brother's best friend take but dw they can get more beefy and more sassy - send me any pairings you might like to see! thanks for reading x
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thoutisashark · 2 months
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Accidental Courtship :3
Accidental courtship
ft: Savanaclaw, Octavinella
cw: possible minor spelling errors (blame the dyslexia), established relationship, swearing, implied fem reader
Penguins have this adorable courtship ritual where the male gives the female a smooth pebble, if the female is impressed by the pebble she accepts the gift and mates with the male
I know that jade, Floyd, and Azul aren't penguins, but i thought it would be so cute if their s/o gave them a pebble and basically proposed but not knowing what it meant.
And for the beast-men (Leona, Jack, Ruggie) i thought it would be cute if there was a special beast-men way of courtship, I couldn't think of anything though, but then i remembered that for a lot of mammals (and animals in general) grooming is a form of bonding, so what if licking was a form of courtship?!?!
ENJOY
Savanaclaw
Leona: he awoke from his nap when he felt a pair of hands running through his hair, he sniffed the air, realizing it was just his s/o he closed his eyes once again, surrendering to the comforting feeling of your hands, he hated to admit it but he loved when you played with his hair, it was something he looked forward to and expected. what he didn't expect however was the sudden wet feeling that graced his cheek his eyes shot open and his head snapped in your direction
"so soon? at least wait till we graduate"
your so confused, he realizes that you probably dont know what you just did
"for beast-men, your lick was you asking me to marry you you dumb herbivore"
he wont admit it but his heart was pounding in his chest
Jack: he had finished his classes for the day and was walking around the campus grounds, when he spotted you his tail started to wag a bit, he attempted to stop, annoyed that he was giving away how he felt. he walked over to you, he wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you closer to him you smiled up at him, kissing his cheek, he smiled at you and walked with you to the ramshackle dorm, you guys sat in the guest room you had been working on you had been pretty bored all day and wanted to do something to make you laugh, why not lick your boyfriend see what his silly reaction would be, little did you know the implications behind this supposedly innocent action. as soon as your tongue brushed his cheek he was off to sofa and staring at you in shock, he moved so fast that your tongue was still hanging out of you mouth
"i-im not ready"
his voice was shaky and his tail was wagging at a super sonic spread
"i mean you need to meet my parents and my siblings, and i dont have any money, i mean were still in high school, marriage is a very large leap"
you were so fucking confused Marriage? when you asked what he was talking about he looked at you confused
"you licked me... you want to marry me...right?"
you blushed and told him that in your world its just a weird thing to do. he sighed in
"so no marriage then, good, i love you but im not ready for that yet... try again in a few years"
he winked, his tail giving away his feelings
Ruggie: you had gotten some powdered donuts from Sam's store earlier and you were super excited to eat them, you rushed to your dorm hoping to avoid the food thief you called a boyfriend but it was useless, he could probly smell them from 3 miles away, he saw you running smelt the sweet scent of donuts and took off after you, he caught up quickly, snatching the box from you hands
"watcha got here shihihi"
he held the box out of your reach and took a donut out, he quickly shoved it into his mouth as you pouted, you loved him to death but god was he annoying sometimes you noticed how he had gotten some of the powdered sugar on his nose and an idea of revenge sprung into your mind, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to you
"you gonna kiss me~" he teased you, he wrapped an arm around you resting a hand on the small of your back while his other held the donut box.
you licked his nose, he tensed up, his eyes widened and he stumbled back almost falling over
"i-i dont- i mean-" he turned around, he grabbed his ears and pressed them down, trying to calm himself down, he had never felt so flustered before, but could you blame him? his s/o just asked for his hand in marriage "i accept but... so soon?"
you looked at him confused, he took a moment, realizing that what is a marriage proposal for beast-men might not be the same for humans, but everyone was aware of the tradition, then it clicked, you weren't from here, you had no idea what you had just done. his blush was still there, and to be honest he was dissipated, he licked you cheek "that is a proposal for marriage" he admits, looking away embarrassed, he shoved the donut box back into your hands and quickly walked away mumbling a quick "i love you" his tail was small, but it was wagging as he zoomed away from you.
Octavinelle (penguin esc courtship)
Floyd: he hated working at the cafe, it was so boring, why would he work when he could be with his little shrimpy? he found you outside of the ramshackle dorm, you were on your hands and knees digging round a pile of rocks
"shrimpy~" he lifted you up and hugged you from behind "what are you doing?"
he asked, examining the rocks you held in your hands, you didn't answer, instead you picked on of the rocks you had and handed it to him, it was smooth, and had a faint blue undertone to it, he squealed and snatched it out of your hand, he wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you till you felt like you were about to burst, he kissed you passionately before skipping off to tell his brother and Azul, you just stood there, confused as to why your boyfriend was so happy about the rock you gave him, i mean sure it was cool but was it that exciting for him? a couple hours later there was a knock on the door to the ramshackle dorm, you opened the door and say Floyd standing there frowning slightly
"do you know what a rock means"
you shook your head and you swear it looked like he was about to cry
"so you weren't asking me to marry you?"
you shook your head again, now understanding why he was so upset, you hugged him and kissed his cheek promising him to marry him one day, as soon as he heard that he was happy again, hugging and squeezing you all night long.
Jade: he was observing the mushroom he was growing, they had a strange mutation that he hadn't seen before and was eager to study, he was writing down the differences and comparing them to known mutations when suddenly you burst into his room clenching something in your hand, he turned to you smiling at you, he closed his mushroom guide and walked over to you, kissing your forehead and ruffling your hair, you hold out your hand and show a small smooth rock to him, he blushed, hugging you tightly
"are you aware of what your asking me?" he asked, his voice shacking lightly as he hugged you tighter, part of him wished you meant what mer-people mean when they give rocks, but he knows you arent used to the tradtions and culture in this world
he pulled away slightly and when he saw your confused face he smiled sadly "in merfolk culture you asked me to marry you" he chuckled as you blushed "i want to be the one to give you the rock dear" he mumbled into your hair he pulled away caressing your face before picking you up and taking you to the couch to cuddle.
Azul: he was in his office doing paper work and for the cafe, he was stressed, his hand was starting to cramp from the amout of writing he had been doing. the door to his office opened and you entered, his eyes lit up as he say you, your presence always made him feel better.
"hello my love"
he smiled at you softly, he open his arms for a hug and you wasted no time crawling into his lap and hugging him tightly, he kissed your shoulder, you reached into your pocket and handed him a pretty rock you had found earlier, his faced flushed with a blush
"m-my love? i- i mean y-yes ill marry you, but at least meat my family first, do you have a venue in mind? a dress? i can help you look- wait your not proposing? oh... you dont know do you"
as disappointed as he was that he wasn't going to marry you he chuckled and laughed
"my beloved your little rock was a proposal of marriage"
he smirked at you, watching as you face as you realized what you had done, he kissed you shoulder and cheek again
"just know love.... i will say yes, i will always say yes to you"
a couple days later when you walk into his office you she the rock you gave him on the shelf behind his desk, it was in a glass container, when you asked Azul all he said was
"its special to me, i wish to keep it forever"
End notes:
i had no idea what to do for leona and i think its pretty obvious, but i had fun writing this! its my first time writing for twst characters and i think i did ok... i hope
I am accepting requests :)
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cupidddd-d · 3 months
Text
oh heart, and then it falls
in which theodore nott is actually nice to you?
gn reader but it's mentioned that they wear lip gloss !!
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"ow, fuck!" you cried out as your potion bubbled over the edge of the cauldron, oozing onto your hand. tears of pain sprung to your eyes, and you could already feel the burns forming underneath the thick sludge sitting on your skin.
"nott, you were supposed to be watching the potion while i wrote notes!" embarrassingly, your voice broke, and you could feel a tear dripping down your face. your notes were ruined, your hand was burnt, you were crying in front of the boy who was most likely to make fun of you for it, and your potion was completely unsalvageable. you may have been hallucinating, but you could have sworn that you could smell burnt flesh.
"huh?" theodore's head jolted up from his conversation with draco. his eyes glanced from your hand to your face, and then back down again. "merlin...we've got to get you to the hospital wing..."
you walked in silence as he led you out of the hospital wing, staring down at where he was applying bandages to your hand. he had poured a numbing potion over the wound, but memories of your previous pain echoed around your body.
"why are you doing this, nott?" your mouth was dry as you stared down at his gentle movements. what happened to the boy who practically fed off of your despair?
"i mean...i'm not a total monster. i don't like you, but it's not like i want you to be hurt." he let out a little scoff, his eyes darting to the side.
"could've fooled me," you rolled your eyes. "remember that time when you pushed my head into the cake on my birthday?" a little smirk was starting to cross your lips.
"that was 9 years ago, and i apologized!" he protested, a matching grin growing on his face.
"only after your mother forced you to," you retorted, rolling your eyes.
"at least i still apologized, right?" he shrugged, giving you a charming, well-practiced smile.
"shame, i still don't accept your apology," you mused.
the two of you sat in silence for a moment, letting him fully concentrate on fixing your hand.
"why are you doing this, nott?" you asked again, the question still weighing on your mind. for some reason, his previous answer didn't feel like the full truth. your eyes bore into his, your gaze so beseeching that it makes him divert his attention back to your bandaged hands.
"you know why." he said simply. quietly. his eyes were dark as they flit back to yours.
you inhaled sharply. if he was saying what you think he's saying... "no, i don't." your voice came out trembly and embarrassingly weak, and you kicked yourself mentally.
"i don't really have to spell it out for you, do i?" he was moving closer and closer. "stop me if you don't want this--and you should probably do it now, because i've waited so long for this moment, i think this might be your only opportunity."
his breath was fanning your lips now, his gaze stuck on your parted lips. you leaned in, and that was all it took for him to dive into you. his lips seared into yours, the kiss fervent. his hands were everywhere, cupping your jaw, pulling your waist to bring you closer to him, wrapping in your hair.
your eyes were wide as he pulled back, a smug smirk on his face as he licked his lips. "what is that, cherry flavored lip gloss?"
"nott-" you managed to stutter out.
"come on, darling. after what we just did, i'd expect us to be past the last-name basis." he snickered, leaning down to capture your lips with his once again.
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books-and-catears · 3 months
Text
Belphie: Is it just me or does Solomon feel more... formidable with MC around?
Levi: I know exactly what you mean! It's like he was already too overpowered before but now he leveled up or got a buff of some sort.
Mammon: Especially when they enter the room together - something feels dangerous! I don't like the effect he has on MC!
Asmo: Ugh it's so true! My charm already didn't work on MC, but two days I go I tried it on Solomon and didn't work on him either!?! Did MC's shield rub off on him!?!!
Lucifer: As long as MC is on good terms with us I don't think it should be a problem. So simply try not to annoy MC too much. For your own sake.
Beel: Solomon's dangerous cooking....*shivers* atleast MC has been protecting us from that!
Satan: Honestly you guys are just ignorant. It's honestly simple to figure them out once you get to know them.
Lucifer: Is that so? Go ahead then enlighten us.
Satan: Though MC has more raw more power than Solomon, they have been training to get better protective and supportive spells than destructive ones.
Satan: Asmo is quite right. MC does indeed have a shielding spell on Solomon permanently. Which will have dangerous consequences if there are too many attempts to charm or curse him - so Asmo. I would suggest not doing that anymore.
Asmo: Eeeek! I don't know whether to be impressed or horrified!
Levi: Wait so about the supportive spells? What do they do? They buff Solomon's power even more?!
Satan: Indeed I have seen them in action and...well...
Belphie: How bad is it?
Satan: If Solomon was strong enough to fight off the entirety of Devildom before...well with MC, he can probably go up against two realms at once and still survive. I mean they literally created two stars out of nothing, in our very own skies.
Mammon: Just how are you so calm after witnessing such power first-hand?!!
Satan: Oh come on, they are loyal friends if you remain on their good side. And we've had loads of pleasant times together.
Beel: So you are just being a good friend and not doing the thing where you get close to someone to deduce their strengths and weaknesses so you would have an advantage in any emergency?
Satan: I...I can do both at the same time!
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