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#.never trust someone reading with a straight face is all i'm saying
jercythesiscrying · 1 year
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me reading smut: *raises eyebrows in mild intrigue at something Extremely Kinky* hm
me reading fluff: *making the most ungodly noises to ever come out of a human, just short of foaming at the mouth like a rabid animal, simply bc the characters are holding hands* THEY'RE SO CUUUUUUUUUTE!!!!!!
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Sequel to Good People - The fic in wherein Wayne doesn't like Steve and overheard a conversation he shouldn't have. Here's the aftermath of that :3
Part One🦇Part Two🦇Final Part
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Wayne had stayed in his bedroom long after he heard the boys leave. Eddie had knocked on his door to let him know he'd be staying at Steve's and to not expect him back until late tomorrow, a courtesy he'd never shown until after he'd been the victim of a manhunt back in spring. Wayne never asked him to do that but he thinks Eddie picked up on how worried Wayne would get if he were gone for any amount of time.
Eddie's always been good at reading people when he bothers to pay attention to them. Maybe that should have been enough reason for him to give pause to his dislike of the Harrington boy, instead of needing to overhear the boy crying about how he thinks there's something rotten deep within him that only Wayne can sense.
He'd been so sure he knew what kind of person Steve Harrington was. Eddie had been hung up on boys just like him pert-near his whole life, Wayne thinks, and it's never ended differently.
It's a Tuesday night and his friends usually gather at the bar on Friday nights, but Wayne needs to get out of the trailer to think. A beer might help. So, he grabs his keys and heads out.
He's been a regular at this bar since before he was even old enough to drink. Used to come with his pa, may he rest in peace, just to get out of the house. He's been a patron longer than any of the staff have worked there, he realizes.
"Hello Linda," Wayne greets as he takes a seat at the bar instead of at his usual table. He'd done a cursory glace when he came in and confirmed none of his drinking buddies were in before choosing the bar.
"This isn't your usual day," Linda says, leaning a hip on the counter, "but it's always a pleasure to see you."
"I got some thinkin' to do," Wayne replies and Linda nods and moves away, returning soon with a bottle of his usual beer. She picks up the bottle open and removes the cap before setting the drink down in front of him.
"Need a sounding board, hun?" She asks.
Wayne does a quick survey of the bar again but it's pretty quiet so he returns his gave to Linda and says, "if you wouldn't mind too much hearin' about how an old man might have messed up."
Linda laughs. "You aren't even half a decade older than me, so you best not be sprouting that 'old man' nonsense around me, 'cause I am not some old lady."
"Terribly sorry, Linda. I'm just really feelin' like an old fool."
A small frown comes to Linda's face then. "Now what could you have possibly done?"
"Well, I guess I'm tryin' to figure out if I did mess up. Eddie's got a friend and I don't trust 'im. Thought I had good reason not to, but, well, I overheard somethin' I wasn't supposed ta and now I'm not sure."
Linda hums, "hmm, that doesn't sound like you, judging someone unrightly. You are usually a good read about people."
"I'll admit, I haven't bothered to spend enough time with the boy to, uhh, judge him."
"Wayne Munson," Linda scolds, "you best not be telling me you judged that boy because of other people."
Judging by Linda's raising brow line, he thinks his guilt must be clear on his face. "You know Eddie, and how people have treated him. And with what he just went through- I just want 'im safe. Sure, his new friend graduated last year, but he was on the basketball team his whole career. And I'm jus' supposed ta believe this one boy didn't side with the group who started the manhunt?"
"Unless you've got evidence otherwise, yes," Linda says, brows furrowed.
Wayne sighs. "I ain't got proof. I got a lot of people sayin' he's good, actually. But it's the Harrington boy. The same boy Eddie would come home and complain 'bout. Harrington, Hagan, Hargrove, though I shouldn't speak ill of the dead. All them boys treatin' Eddie like he wasn't worth nothin' until they wanted somethin' form him."
Linda's mouth is almost a perfectly straight line with how much she's pursed her lips the more he talks, but she doesn't interrupt and no customer calls for her, so he continues.
"And you know what Richard Harrington was like. I know y'all only shared one school year together, but Janice wasn't any better, and she was your year, wasn't she?" Linda gives him one nod in response. "That boy's a product of them. I- You can't fault me for thinkin' differently."
"So, when do you expect Eddie to end up in prison?"
The question throws Wayne and fills him with anger at the same time. "Now, Linda, I ain't likin' what you are implyin'."
"I ain't implyin' nothing," she says, using the same tone with him that he did with her. "I'm applying your logic. Eddie's a product of his parents, ain't he? Al's in prison, and his mama's long gone, bless her soul. And since Eddie ain't sick, last I heard, he must be following after his daddy."
The anger leaves him then, and all he's left with is shame. "Point made. And if I'm bein' fully honest with ya, I don't even need ya to defend that boy. That thing I overheard. That what's eatin' at me. He called me good people."
Linda softens, shoulders dropping, "you are good people, hun."
"That boy told my Eddie that I'm 'good people', and that his parents are bad ones, and I. I don't know what to do about that."
"He thinks his own parents are bad?"
Wayne nods, "is what he said. Thinks I can somehow sense he's also rotten just by association."
"There's nothing to it, then," Linda says, like they've already talked out the tangled mess that is Wayne's thoughts on Steve Harrington and have reached a conclusion. Well, perhaps Linda already has. She's always been bright, and she's usually right. "You, Wayne Robert Munson, need to apologize to that boy. The guilt and shame's gonna put you into your cups otherwise."
Wayne nods slowly, though he isn't even sure if he agrees or is just acknowledging what she said before he takes a long pull from his bottle before lowering both his arms to rest on the counter as he replies, "You're right as usual, Linda my dear. I just gotta let go of the fact he's Richard Harrington's son and try and see just Steve."
"Damn right. Eddie might be Al's by birth, but you raised him and he turned out alright. Maybe Steve got the same treatment. Had his own Wayne around to raise him right."
There might be a bit of truth to that. He's heard enough talk about Steve Harrington over the years to think that. One of his drinking buddies used to be Jim Hopper. He's heard about the amount of parties he'd had to go shut down at the Harrington's house, with no parents to be seen. (Always Jim's biggest gripe back then. "Where's this kids goddamn parents!?) Wayne always assumed their kid just took advantage every time his parents were gone, but maybe it's the opposite. Maybe they were always gone, and Steve had parties to not be alone in his house.
Linda's right. There is nothing to it. He needs to talk to Steve, properly apologize, and go from there.
"It ain't an easy thing, admittin' you might be wrong," Wayne sighs.
Linda reaches across the counter and places a hand on Wayne's arm just below his wrist. Wayne looks up from where he'd ended up staring at his bottle, making eye contact with her. "If your boy is friends with this boy, it's for a reason. Just give him a chance. You are one of the good ones, but even we can have a lapse in judgment now and then. Doesn't make you bad, makes you human."
"Ain't no one perfect but the good Lord," Wayne says and Linda nods in agreement.
"Alright. I'll leave you to your beer and your thoughts for now, but you best keep me updated on your situation. I wanna know how it goes," Linda retracts her hand and heads down the counter to check on the few other people sitting about nursing drinks.
Wayne sits in his thoughts more than he drinks, so by the time he's done with the beer it's warm but that's fine. He will talk to the Harrington kid, but he wants to talk to Eddie first. He owes his nephew that much, and he does recall Eddie saying something to the effect of 'he'll come around' to Steve, and Wayne wants to tell Eddie he'll try.
Also he doesn't want to just corner the boy after he's been somewhat intimidating intentionally. He's going to get Eddie to ask if Steve'll talk to him.
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True to his word, Eddie returns home late the next day. The clock says it's almost 6 when Eddie finally comes through the front door. If he's surprised to see Wayne awake, he doesn't show it. He does work the graveyard shift, and he's got a shift at 10 tonight, usually wakes up two hours before his shift. He'd wanted to make sure he caught Eddie, though, so he's been up since three.
"Eddie, you got a minute?" Wayne says.
"Sure. What's up?" Eddie says as he pulls off his jacket, depositing it on the nearest surface before plopping sideways on the couch so he's facing Wayne.
"I gotta come clean. I overheard some of what you and Steve were talkin' about," Wayne says, because he's a man of his word and he's always been good at doing the hard thing if it also turns out to be the right thing. He's got to be honest with Eddie, so he can be honest with himself. "Heard Harr- Steve talkin' 'bout how he thinks I'm a good person, and his parents aren't."
Eddie's quiet for a moment, blinking owlishly back at him while he thinks. "Oh. Umm. Sorry. I just- I think this is the first time I've heard you say Steve's name."
"Not the part I thought you'd focus on," Wayne huffs a laugh, "but I owe your boy an apology and I was hopin' you could help me make it happen."
"My boy- what is happening," Eddie drops his voice to whisper the question to himself.
"What's happening is I'm doin' the thing I always told you ta do. Taking accountability and fixin' my mistake."
"Oh. Oh!" Eddie narrows his eyes at Wayne, "you've made an ass out of me. All those times I assured Steve you were just being standoffish and you were- what were you doing?"
"Intentionally keepin' the boy at a distance 'cause I thought he was gonna hurt you. I sure as hell ain't been friendly. I been judging him because I knew his parents, thinkin' about how an apple don't fall far from the tree," Wayne stops, giving pause to see if Eddie will speak but he isn't. He's just staring at Wayne like he's a puzzle. "It was brought to my attention that it's mighty unfair to judge someone 'cause of how their parents act."
Eddie's brow furrows and his lips purse. It makes him think of Linda. She'd made the exact same face. "I- Jesus fuck this is weird, but I. I think I'm mad at you. Disappointed."
Eddie doesn't say it with an angry tone, and his face still looks more puzzled than mad, but the sentence feels like a kick to the chest anyway. Eddie and he have never been mad at each other, not in the eight years Eddie's lived here with him. They've been worried and scared for each other that, or mad at someone or something else that they take out on each other, but never mad at each other.
"You've every right to be."
Eddie stands from the couch, paces down the hallway, and Wayne thinks this might be the end of any conversation tonight, but instead Eddie comes storming back up the hall. "So, what, did you take me in expecting me to be my dad!?"
"No. He mighta contributed to your birth, but we both know that man ain't nurtured you a day in his life."
"Yeah, well, Steve's parents didn't raise him either, so all this has been bullshit! You made Steve think he's, he's broken and a bad person! And," Eddie's eyes are wet and he's angry but also about to cry. Wayne hasn't seen him like this in a long time. Not since the day they learned Al was in prison, fifteen years with a chance for parole if he's on his best behavior. Eddie had been so angry, and sad, and hurt by the news. Eddie's like that now, worked up so much he's repeating himself as he hiccups his words out around the lump in this throat, "And, and you made me help him feel that way! Because I didn't take him serious when he said, said you didn't like him! I thought you were being, being a dad, all fake gruff to intimidate the guy I like but it's- you were- FUCK!"
Wayne lets him yell. He deserves it, and Eddie needs it. Eddie's not saying anything untrue. He takes in what Eddie is yelling at him; Steve's parents didn't raise him, and how Wayne's cold shoulder must have added to whatever else Steve has going on in his life.
"I, I h-held him while he b-bawled into my shirt last night! He, he thinks- and you, you didn't even trust me! T-trust my own j-judgment of, of Steve! I, I need- I can't-" Eddie doesn't finish the sentence. He turns on his heel and storms back down the hall, the slamming of his door finalizing this conversation.
To say that Wayne feels terrible is inadequate. He's hurt his boy, and he's hurt his boy's boy, and he's got no one to blame but himself.
Now he's got two apologies to make.
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I tried to tag as many people as I could remember that expressed interest in a follow up fic. I am SO sorry if I missed you. Please let me know if you want to be tagged in the final part. I will only be tagging people who ask to be tagged going forward 'cause it's a lot of people to remember and my memory is garbage.
@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss @unclewaynemunson @itsthestrangestthings @emofratboy @devondespresso @finntheehumaneater @loopholesinmydreams @yourmom-isgay @wrenisflying @emsgoodthinkin @messrs-weasley @madigoround @jackiemonroe5512 @gutterflower77 @zerokrox-blog @eriquin @samyuck @lunarmaruna @mugloversonly @kaij-basil-lionelli88
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ellecdc · 1 month
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can i formally request something? (i have no idea if you take smut requests so please ignore me if not😭) a barty x reader smut where everyone already thinks they’re together so they’re like 🤔?? maybe they’re onto something
and maybe if they try to tell people (read regulus) they’re just like -_-¿ this is new
and well done on your exams!! i’m sure you aced them
hahaha omg this is so Barty and reader coded fr. thanks for your request (I hope I did it justice)
Barty Crouch Jr x afab fem!reader who has sex for the first sodding time, Evan
CW: smut - like straight up porn people, p in v intercourse, pussy slapping cuz apparently I'm a freak, soft choking, a slap in the face if you squint, 18+
This conversation had been going on for so long that you were truly fighting the urge to throw your head back and let out a guttural scream out of pure frustration.
But Barty never fought his urges.
“For fuck’s sake!” He screeched. “How many sodding times do you need me to say it: we - are - not - to - geth - er!” He shouted at Evan, emphasising each syllable with a stomp of his foot. 
Evan smirked and shared a look with Dorcas before rolling his eyes.
“Sure. And what exactly is this?” He asked, gesturing with his book at your tangled forms.
Okay, so maybe you and Barty were physically affectionate with each other - but that didn’t mean anything.
“What?” Barty asked simply.
“The way you’re sitting, Junior.” Dorcas drawled in a bored tone.
You both looked at each other like you were only just now realising your proximity to each other. 
You were positioned on the cushion of the sofa between Barty’s thighs with his arms wrapped around you and his hands weaselled under your shirt and tucked under your breasts.
What?
It was for warmth; he has terrible circulation, you know.
“We always sit like this.” You replied.
Evan scoffed. “You always sit like you’re one sneeze away from having his dick slip inside of you?”
“Okay, you know what?” Barty said, slipping his hands out from your shirt and patting your thighs to say ‘get up’, and standing up behind you. “I didn’t come here to be spoken to like this, least of all by someone who has his head shoved so far up his arse that he could check for tonsillitis.”
Evan shut his book he’d been pretending to read up until that point causing Barty to screech and shout at you to ‘save yourself’ as the two of you took off in the direction of his dorm room. 
You were laughing and breathless by the time you made it into Barty’s room and he shut the door behind you, casting a locking charm for good measure should Evan come looking for retribution for the slander.
“Honestly, I think they’re just jealous.” You said breathlessly.
Barty nodded as he sucked in a few deep breaths himself. “I mean, it’s kind of sad he’s never had a best friend that he felt so comfortable with, you know?”
“Exactly!” 
“And I don’t know why everyone has to make it so sexual. Do you have great tits? Sure. But that’s not why I put my hands on them!”
“Of course.” You agreed readily. “And I mean, are we two of the hottest people to walk these fucking halls? Of course we are -”
“Absolutely.”
“- but that doesn’t mean we’re shagging!”
“Right!” Barty said with finality as he finally sat down on the chair at his desk. “I don’t know why they have to make everything so weird.”
“Me either.” You groaned as you fell backwards onto Barty’s bed and stared up at the green velvet bed curtains draped over the four poster bed. “They’re probably just jealous.” You repeated. “I mean, we would make a really hot couple; I’d want to be with us too.”
“You know, that’s exactly what I was just thinking.” Barty agreed quickly. “And if we were having sex, they’d bloody know it. It would be hot.”
“Gods, it really would be, wouldn't it?”
“Without a doubt; I’m great in bed, and you’re great at everything.” Barty said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“You know what.” You said as you sat up to face Barty. “It would be hot. Great sex comes from trust-”
“Check.”
“- communication,”
“Check.”
“Familiarity,”
“Duh.”
“Confidence.”
“Obviously.”
“We’d be sodding lucky to be shagging each other!” You proclaimed.
“I agree!” He responded. 
You both stared at each other; breathing slightly laboured having gotten yourselves so worked up pleading your cases (to no one, seeing as you were both clearly on the same page).
“Huh.” Barty said finally, giving your body a once over. “You know, maybe it is weird we haven’t fucked before.”
“Yeah.”
Your eyes met his green ones that held an intensity you’d not seen from him before.
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you wanna fuck?”
“Yeah.”
And like a flip had been switched, the two of you were launching yourselves at each other. 
No time was spent savouring touches or testing waters. It was all teeth clashing, tongues dancing, heavy breathing, and tearing each other’s clothes off.
It felt somehow both forbidden and oh so right.
You’d truly never thought about Barty like this; you really were just that comfortable with one another.
But as you pulled his shirt over his head and started fussing with his belt, a fire roared to life inside you screaming we should have been doing this the whole bloody time. 
You nearly tripped over the waistband of your trousers as Barty backed the two of you towards his bed where he sat on the edge.
You broke apart for air as he moved his sinful mouth down the expanse of your torso and took to marking up your breasts.
“Salazar they’re even better like this.” He murmured to himself before taking one of your nipples in his mouth whilst he pinched the other.
You ran your finger through his hair, an action you'd done many times before, but never like this.
You pulled at it roughly and brought his lips back to yours as you pushed him to lay back on his bed so you could straddle him.
“Merlin, Y/N. No foreplay?” He chuckled breathlessly as you gave his cock a few strokes and whispered a lubrication charm.
“Next time.” You sighed as you lined him up with your entrance and slowly sank down onto his cock, causing the two of you to moan in unison.
“Next time, huh?” Barty teased as he smoothed his hands up and down your sides, allowing the two of you to adjust to the feeling of one another before you experimentally rolled your hips.
“What? Don’t you want to fuck me, Junior?” You taunted right back.
Barty thrusted his hips up roughly into yours, causing you to cry out and place your hands on his shoulders to stabilise yourself. “I think it’s very obvious I want to fuck you.”
“Yeah?” You whispered, bringing your mouth back to his and biting gently on his bottom lip.
“Yeah.”
You breathed a laugh out through your nose before you bit down harder.
“Then fuck me.”
And before you could tell which way was up, Barty had flipped the two of you over so he now hovered over top of you and had his hand wrapped around your neck.
“You want to be fucked, doll?” He groaned as he hooked one of your legs around his hip allowing himself that much deeper in you.
If there was one thing you could thank the fucked up breeding habits of Purebloods for, it was apparently the size of their cocks. 
“You want me to ruin you?” He continued as he added more pressure to your throat, still grinding into your now sopping cunt. “Make sure no other wizard is ever good enough for you?”
Your entire body felt like it was on fire; the feeling when you’re sitting on the poolside in the sun after a swim; the beads of water only make the sun’s rays feel that much warmer against your skin.
“Oi.” He demanded, giving your cheek a chastising tap. “You gonna be good for me?” He asked more seriously this time.
His beautiful green eyes were nearly fully eclipsed by his pupils as he continued moving in and out of you with what you realised now was a very controlled pace. But you were eager to see where he’d go from here.
“I’ll be good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me.” He ordered.
“I’ll be good.”
“What was that?”
“I’ll be good, Barty.” You whined, pulling at his arms in an attempt to bring him closer.
“Who are you going to be good for?”
“You.”
“Yeah?”
You hummed in agreement as he hiked up your other leg and wrapped it around his hip.
“Tell me.”
“I’ll be good for you! Promise. I’ll be so good for you, please.”
Barty chuckled and let out a taunting cooing sound as he fell to his elbows and brought his face to yours.
“There’s no need to beg, sweets.”
And just like that, he was pulling away from you again.
Suddenly, his hands were on your hips and he lifted them into the air, holding them there as he began slamming into you. 
“Gonna be so fucking good for me, aren’t you angel?” He grunted.
You scrunched your eyes shut at the feeling of his throbbing cock pounding into you; adjusting his angle every few thrusts in search of something.
“I bet you’re a fucking screamer, huh? You always got so much to say babygirl; don’t go quiet on me now.”
His fingers dug further into the fat of your hips as he adjusted his grip on you, causing you to let out an embarrassing keening sound.
Apparently that was close, but not quite what Barty had been looking for.
“Close. How about we try…”
And he pulled out of you completely before landing a hard smack against your pussy, forcing a surprised scream to tear from your throat. 
“There’s the pretty sounds I was looking for.” He celebrated, rubbing placating circles on your clit before repositioning himself and sinking back into you. “Think you can keep that up for me, Princess?”
“Yes!” You cried quickly, grabbing helplessly at the bedding as he once again lifted your hips up into the air, finding that sweet spot inside you that he’d been in search of before his interruption.
He knew he found his mark when you let out another strangled sob.
“Alright pretty girl, there we go, huh? Does that feel good?”
You were babbling affirmatives nonsensically as he groaned at the sensation of your walls clenching around him; yesses and pleases spilling from your lips.
“Fuck you feel so good.”
“Please Barty.” You cried, reaching a hand up to his wrist.
He let your hips fall to the bed as he brought one thumb to your clit and his other hand took yours in his.
“What is it, princess? Hm?”
“Please.” You whined, and it sounded pathetic even in your own ears in your current state.
But Barty only tsked and pulled two of your fingers into his mouth which he began to suck.
You could feel the tension building in your core as he quickened his pace with his thumb and his hips before letting your fingers go with a pop.
“I’ll take care of your princess, you know that. When have I ever let you down?”
Never.
“Never.”
He smiled triumphantly down at you; and though his mouth was cocky, his eyes were sincere. 
“Exactly. I’m not about to start now, yeah?”
And suddenly his thumb was gone from your clit, your ankles were thrown over his shoulders and he was leaning his weight against the backs of your thighs as he began thrusting into you with an air of desperation.
“Atta girl; so good, huh? S’good.” He grunted as his thrusts became somewhat sloppy. “S’fuckin’ good for me. Perfect for me, aren’t you?”
“Yes! Yes, yes, yes.” You chanted with each thrust of his hips. “Please, oh gods, please, please Barty.”
“I know, I know.” He grunted, clearly as close to teetering over some sort of edge as you were. “I know, I feel it. You’re alright, yeah? Go on, sweets; I’ve got you.”
And his hands were holding onto your thighs for dear life and he was kissing at your knee like even that silly little part of you was something worthy of worship, and he did have you and he never let you down and he wasn’t going to start now and you saw stars as you finally fell over the edge.
The room fell quiet as Barty locked his lips on yours, and you realised you’d been screaming. 
His hips stuttered as he thrust into you once, twice, three times more before he followed you over the edge; letting your legs fall from his shoulders as he fell to his elbows on top of you and the two of you fought to catch your breath.
In complete contrast to the Barty who was only moments ago pounding mercilessly into you, he started placing, slow, lingering, gentle kisses over your face as his thumbs rubbed idly at your temples.
He pressed a kiss to your neck, your jaw, the tip of your nose, over your eyelids, your forehead, your ear.
You knew Barty could have a soft side, but you never imagined it so tender.
“I knew you’d be a screamer.” He whispered, breaking you out of the serene moment and surprising a bark of laughter from you, which caused both of you to groan in discomfort before Barty slowly pulled out of you. 
“Stay here, princess.” He instructed as he walked away from the bed and returned a few moments later with a warm cloth and one of his (read: your favourite of his) t-shirts.
You watched him carefully as he cleaned you up - and once again, what probably should have felt awkward or embarrassing felt nothing but natural as he doted on you. 
“Can you sit up?” He asked; not one hint of condescension in his tone as he held the neckhole of his shirt open for you to slip your head into.
As it poked through, he pressed a kiss to your lips before helping to thread your arms in.
“Is it safe to assume we’ll be doing that again?” You asked with a smirk, causing him to scoff dramatically. 
“We’ll be doing that the rest of our lives if I have anything to say about it.”
After a shower and a change into comfies, the two of you returned to the common room, and though Dorcas was long gone, Evan could be found where the two of you had left him, now in the company of Regulus. 
“Well boys.” Barty sang dramatically as he swung his legs over the back of the sofa and landed on the seat with a bounce. “We just fucked.”
You rolled your eyes at his blatant goading as you sat beside him.
“Yeah? And I had potions today; so what?” Regulus muttered without looking up from his novel.
“What do you mean so what? This was the first time!” Barty argued.
“This is new.” You insisted severely.
“You know, I always knew Barty was a liar; but I expected better from you, Y/N.”
Your mouth dropped open as Regulus and Evan stood up and walked away from the seating area.
What you didn’t see as they walked towards the Slytherin dungeons was Regulus passing Evan five Galleons for their bet on who could convince the two of you to finally get over your “just friends” bit.
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talas-starlight · 3 months
Text
Scarred Spirits - Zuko x fem!reader (pt.7)
Summary: reactions from team avatar when they find out your ozais assassin
warning: mentions of scars, not very happy gaang, mean katara!, angst
masterlist: here!
most previous part: here! (all other parts can be found in my masterlist!)
authors note! hello!! idk if anyone will be reading this but if you are welcome!! i haven't posted to this series in YEARS so please forgive me as I'm very rusty at writing but please enjoy!
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Unified screams erupted upon Appa. “YOU’RE WHAT!”
“Aang what have you done! You literally let a murderer on Appa! She’s going to kill all of us! Katara was right, and I can’t believe I ignored her.”
“I KNEW IT! Quickly Aang, land Appa and let’s get her off!”
Unable to take it anymore, Toph lost her cool. “Can you knuckle heads shut up! I highly doubt that she will kill us, why the hell would she listen to you guys fighting all the time when she could end her misery by taking you out.”
Reality hitting Sokka and Katara, they finally piped down, allowing Toph to continue.
“Look, what you said is highly questionable. I’m not saying that I trust you, but you’re going to have to give us more information than that or else I’ll throw you off myself. Got it?”
You sighed. At least someone in the group had more sense. “Yeah, of course. What would you like to know?”
“Well for starters a name would be great. Oh and maybe, I don’t know, how and why you’re the Fire Lords Assassin?!”
You almost wanted to pull Katara’s braid for the irritating look of satisfaction on her face. “Right okay… well my name is y/n. uhhh and I was forced to become his assassin when he caught me after I broke into the palace three years ago.”
“That’s it?! Nuh uh lady. I know he’s the Fire Lord and had done some awful things but why would he do that to a child?! You’re either lying or somethings still missing.”
There was a lot to weigh up. To suddenly reveal everything about you would be too much and would get you thrown off Appa anyway. Yet to reveal nothing wouldn’t let you gain enough trust to even last a day. Leaving you to share the one thing you knew so little about yourself that you didn’t care if they knew and hopefully enough of a miserable, pitying tale that they’d let you off the hook for the time being.
“My parents aren’t in my life, they never were. I don’t know who they were or why they did it. All I had was my trainer, Zemin. In his time, he was the most notorious Assassin in the entire Fire Nation and when he retired, he never took on any students to carry on his legacy - if you could even call it that. Every other trainer was ecstatic because this meant that their students would earn the most bounties. Until there was me. I don’t know why he took me in… he just said that he found me as in infant and regretfully took me from an islands rocky shore maybe to sell me off somewhere. I suppose he realised he could make even more money from me if he trained me until I could pay off debt for him raising me. I did the one thing assassins could do, kill. All the money I ever earned from each bounty went straight to him. Luckily enough, I learned quickly, and I got to my final payment when I was 13, then he would have set me free.”
Horrified, Aang couldn’t believe what he was hearing. There was nothing like this in the Air Temples growing up. “Luckily enough?! How in any universe is that lucky!”
“Most assassins in the Fire Nation, and others, are stuck paying off their guardians or trainers well into their adulthood. Because of… certain tactics and advantages, I became quite popular if you could put it that way and most of the people, I had to take care of were…” Halting, you knew that if you verbally said some lives are worth more than others, Aang would probably go into cardiac arrest.
“Well, some had more people wanting them gone so the bounty was higher.”
“How does this have anything to do with you working for the fire lord! I don’t see why Zemin would let you go if you were doing so much for him.”
Your strength was fading. You hated yourself for how much you scretly enjoyed having people around that weren’t as idealistic as those in the Fire Nation.  “He didn’t. I got an anonymous mission to take out a high general in the palace. So high, that it was going to be enough for me to finish my debt.” After not being met with screams you felt reassured to continue…. they seem to be taking this well…
You took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “On my way out, I got caught in the middle of an Agni Kai. The fire lord wasn’t too pleased I killed one of his generals or interfered with punishing his son. Yet somehow in his psychopathic mind he saw it as an opportunity to pledge my allegiance to him.”
The silence amongst the group was short lived.
“YOU MEAN ZUKO?”
“YOU KILLED SOMEONE.”
“AND YOU ACCEPTED?”
You scrunched your face. Maybe this was a bad idea to tell them. But it was too late to go back. “Yes, it was Prince Zuko in the Agni Kai, that’s how he got his scar. Yes, Aang I did kill the general, but to be fair I haven’t killed anyone since then… And Katara if you were being tortured every day for 8 months, I’m sure you would wear down too.”
The waterbender was unsatisfied with your answer. “Unbelievable! Of course, you did! Everyone has a choice in this world, and you chose the fire lord. You’re nothing but a coward.”
“My life was on the line! You don’t know anything about me.”
“Oh please, y/n. I do. I know everything! Sure, you were raised to assassinate others, but you can’t expect me to believe you didn’t know what you were doing when you were standing before Ozai. I would have stayed in a life of suffering than go with him.” Shaking her head, she pierces you with a disgusted look, “You’re no better than Ozai. No better than Azula.”
As Appa continued to glide through the ever-ending expanse of the sky, it seemed nothing could break the suffocating tension that encompassed everyone upon his saddle.
Toph was the only one to speak up. “Didn’t you hear her Katara? She hasn’t killed anyone since then! She’s surviving. If you ask me… she’s braver than any of us, you never know what could have happened to her if she got caught not actually killing her targets!”
Irritated Katara only grumbled, turning away while leaving the two boys to think about how they felt about you. Despite giving them answers, they still had so many questions.
It was undeniably clear that Katara has made her mind up about you, and you were sure everyone else was the same despite the earth benders attempts at comforting you. Hence, as you sat there across from the four of them, you were the first to break eye contact, turning your head to the side as you searched for something to focus on out there in the sky. Bird, a cloud, anything. You didn’t have the heart, the courage, to argue against what she said.
Unknown to you, Aang shuffled closer to you scared that his angry friend might hear him going towards you. His words only just loud enough to hear above the wind he whispered to you… “Its okay y/n. I don’t really understand what you’ve done or what you’ve been through but when youre ready.. you can tell us.
That was the first time your heart ignited a comforting warmth.
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As Appas soft paws skilfully landing on the hard earth, you felt your heart drop inside you. What do I do now? Mind racing through all the possibilities, Toph seemed to have decided what to do before you could even stand.
“Hey! Come with me.”
Jumping off Appas saddle you landed on your feet with such a skilled silence, Toph had to sense your heartbeat to even realise you were next to her. Setting off towards where she’d set up her sleeping area, it was best you stuck closely behind.
“Don’t think about what Katara said, she doesn’t get it.”
“How so?”
Stalling in her tracks, she turned her unseeing gaze towards you. “She doesn’t know what its like to be born into a life that you don’t want. And she definitely doesn’t know how hard it can be trying to escape it.”
Unsure with how to reply, humming in understanding was the best you could come up with.
“Just stick with me and you’ll be fine. I know you most certainly don’t need me, but I’ve got your back.”
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The next day had gone by agonizingly slow. With Toph trying to teach Aang earth bending you were left to your own devices since Katara decided to tag along. Although you found yourself tailing Sokka as he went his own way looking for food unaware of your silent giggles seeing him get stuck in the ground.
“...big things eat smaller things. Nothing personal. But this time, it didn’t work out that way…I admit it, you’re cute…”
You decide to finally reveal yourself, tired of your lack of entertainment. “What are you doing down there Sokka?”
Letting out a girl like squeal, he’s horrified at getting caught in this position. “Nothing!”
“You look like you could use some help.”
“I don’t want help from you!” You dismiss it. Surely he has no other choice but to make himself acquainted with you.
“Yeah, right. It’s funny, you’re probably the third person that has ever said that to me. The second in about the span of 48 hours.” you cant help but divert your attention towards the cute animal annoying him. “Aweee look at this cutie!”
“Get away from it!”
“Why should I do that?”
“Because I don’t want you to hurt it!”
“Please, I actually quite like animals. They’re a lot better than humans anyway.”
“I- well… fine! Just go away?”
You scoff, “Why’s that?”
“I don’t like you!”
“Hmm… is that so.”
“Yes, of course it is!”
You’re done feeling sorry for yourself. “Are you sure you don’t like me, or do you feel that way because of your sister?”
“I- well… argh! Fine! I don’t know.”
“Well… why don’t you talk to me and work it out for yourself? If you still dislike me so much I’ll leave you be and get someone to come help.”
A  silence fills the distance between the two of you.
He sighs, caving in, “So.. this Zemin guy. Did he REALLY not give you a choice?”
Looking up, you stare at the clear sky. “I learnt early on in my training that I didn’t have a choice or options in life other than what he wanted. Any exercise I rushed through, half assed, or tried to skip through when he wasn’t looking came with consequences.”
“What kind of consequences?”
“The kind that keeps all of my clothing and bindings on so I don’t constantly get pitiful looks or too many questions.”
He scoffs, “prove it”
Staring at all your layers you sigh, “don’t say I never warned you.”
Peeling off all your layers one by one until your down to just your tank top and pants, you decide to take off your face mask last. Your eyes meeting Sokka’s, you notice him swallow thickly. But its you to break the ice first. “In all fairness, most of them are now from Ozai. The older they look… well I’m sure you can work it out for yourself.”
“b-but-“Fuck why did I have to make him uncomfortable.
Unable to take it any longer, you pull him out from the hole in the ground. “Its fine.”
You turn to walk away after helping him, but he grabs your scarred wrist, the feeling of the textured skin making him internally wince. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made you expose yourself like that. Its horrible that you had to experience that… hell we look the same age!”
“Everyone is on different paths. Look, lets just forget about it..”
Sokka feels like he could bust into tears “No! you don’t understand. I’ve seen the effects of the fire nation… hell they took away my mum. I still remember it, sometimes I have weeks where I keep reliving it in my nightmares, only finding peace when im awake. Its like im being haunted. But- but you?! You have to face it whether you’re awake or asleep”.
Squeezing your eyes shut, you can’t handle the intensity of his words. Theres nothing you can do. Nothing you can say. You hug him. You don’t remember the last time you held someone. It feels weird, almost wrong. But as he squeezes you back, tightening the embrace, you understand one thing. You have an understanding with the water tribe boy, despite how dark it may feel.
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Hours pass by as you sit with sokka talking about useless topics until the other three join you once more. Feeling weariness in their gaze, you realise you forgot to put your layers back on. Now everyone can see your face and scars.
Only Aang has the courage to speak with you.
“Hey. Uhhh, y/n?”
“Yeah?”
“I just… I’m sorry for not speaking much with you since yesterday. I didn’t mean to, it was just a lot to process personally! Growing up with the Air Nomads, I was taught that killing is wrong and that under no circumstance should that be the answer. If I’m completely honest with you, I still stand by those teachings and to have someone who has… killed… so close to me and the people I care the most about is… unsettling.”
There it was. You knew despite how much he was trying; you knew he wouldn’t be able to see past what you did. What you are.
“I understand. I don’t blame you, or anyone for reacting the way they are, and I know what it feels like to want to protect those who mean something to you.” You glance at Sokka, remembering how he understood.
“Just… please understand that I’ve realised what I did was wrong and while I can’t change everything that I have done, I’m trying to move away from that way of life. I don’t want to be a killer anymore. I’m trying my best to fix it.”
“I know…. Its just-“
“You don’t trust me.”
“What?! NO! I mean…. I don’t know. You clearly have good inside of you but it’s hard to look past.”
“I get it. I’ll head off then, the world needs you Aang and I won’t be the one to stand it your way.”
“No! stop! Please! I know I said it’s hard for me to do, but I clearly see you trying your best. I know you won’t hurt me. I just… I suppose I need to open my eyes more. See you for who you are now, what you’re doing now.”
But what if you can’t? What if I’m still that person, no matter how much I try to shove it away. This is what I have been made to become?
“Okay.”
Letting out a nervous quiet laugh, he glances back to everyone. “okay well… lets eat!”
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Zuko stares at the sky in the heavy downpour. “You always through everything you could at me. Well, I can take it. And now I can give it back!”
Lightning cacks in the sky before his eyes.
“Come on!”
“Strike me! You never held back before!”
Met with only the sound of the world around him, he feels helpless. Lost. Alone.
Screaming out, Zuko falls to his knees as the rain and guilt encompasses all of his senses.
His voice scratchy from screaming, he can hardly croak out… “You never held back from her."
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taglist: ​​ @mangoberry43​​ @eridanuswave​​ @slythergirlimagines ​​​ @whiskeywinter89​​ @simplyfandomish @khaleesi-of-assassins​ ​ ​ @calciumcow @ilovespideyyy @callums-keith @nnon-it-up @blackhood5sos @chewymoustachio @tiffy119 @reclusive-chicken-nugget @lozzybowe​ @scarletemeterio​​ @simpinforsukka​ ​ ​ @sokkassuki​ @spearbatty @kaylove12
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txttletale · 12 days
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could you elaborate on your thoughts on boom and 73 yards ( i agree with you i am just struggling to put into words why.)
boom was whatever. the initial conceit of the doctor being trapped and having to stay calm was really cool! i really like that. the ambulances that euthanize you if you're not deemed worthy of medical care and the tacky chatgpt hologram ghosts were both really cool ideas. it just doesn't stick the landing for me, the twists are contrived and fall apart given any thought whatsoever. like what the fuck were any of the soldiers Doing if there just straight up weren't any enemies. it's a twist that sounds cool to say more than it has any meaningful impact on the story or the stakes. i guess 'the arms manuifacturer created a fake conflict' is the intended emtional stakes there but that would hit like a hundred times harder if it was an actual conflict between two factions and people were dying, right? like if anything sending a christian militia to blow themselves up tae fuck on a nowhere planet instead of presumably killing actual living people is an improvement, surely?
also the resolution was dumb as fuck lol i am a huge hater of power of love saves the day shit not because i'm a cynical misanthrope but because it never fails to make me say 'oh so i guess nobody ever loved anybody before lol' and this is no exception like if one chatbot can shut down the whole operation beacuse he loves his daughter are we meant to believe that no other parents or hell nobody who loved anybody else for any reason died in this fake war before? it's cheap and schmaltzy and unearned. anyway the first twentyish minutes of this are all-time great doctor who and gatwa/gibson were incredible in it but it absolutely falls apart into a confused pileo f some of the worst Moffatisms at the end
73 yards on the other hand was incredible! obviously like it requires you to approach it with a different mindset to most of doctor who, right, doctor who usually furnishes you with the big explanation scnee where the doctor says 'well the ghosts were actually particle wave vectorforms created with the necros radiation from the god-king's techsceptre' or whatever--this is the usual narrative mode of sci-fi--but 73 yards is fantasy, right, this is the twilight zone, this is 'wouldn't that be fucked up?'. i interrogate the technical and logical specifics of boom so much when i think about it because that's the language boom is speaking, boom is framing itself within this logical, a-to-b worldview, the satisfying click-together puzzlebox. but 73 yards is a nightmare or a folk tale, right? kate stewart¹ says it herself, 'when faced with the inexplicable, we make up rules and apply them to it'.
so yknow reading it that way it all clicks together beautifully, right, (apart from russel t davies' embarassing swing and miss at Political Commentary in the middle. we get it davies you wrote years and years. we know. trust me we know). the doctor and ruby disrupt the binding circle, free mad jack, and are punished -- the doctor, as perpetrator, with being banished (perhaps in jack's place) and ruby with her worst fear coming true constantly, until ruby defeats mad jack, re-sealing him and fixing what she broke, at which point the circle rewards her by reversing the punishments. and the core horror i think is very effective and unsettling! the idea that there is something that someone could say to turn everyone against you, the closest people to you in your life, your own family, the institutions that are meant to deal with the exact problem you're having--that's fucking terrifying! and yknow i think especially as an autistic trans lesbian something that speaks to me a lot
so yeah. i think that boom establishes its logics and framework and then trips and falls onto its face while 73 yards does the same and then makes perfect use of them. that said i think in 20 years people who are autistic about doctor who will be like 'did you know in the 2020s there were two episodes in a row where the doctor caused the entire plot to happen by stepping on something' and thjatll be the main thing they're remembered for
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meanbossart · 3 months
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What is it about Astarion that DU Drow fell for? Which traits/habits/quirks/whatever were the ones that he first noticed/piqued his interest?
Oh boy, I mean, at first DU Drow didn't care for Astarion at all. He was extremely on edge around all of these people and Astarion's rather invasive strategy only put him off further - his insight checks may be awful, but he can still tell when someone is trying to suck up to him a little too hard. DU drow thought he was attractive, of course (see.: the narrator's comment about the quote-on-quote pretty corpse) but otherwise didn't think very much of, or very highly of him.
Once he got his confidence back, and after Astarion caught onto the fact that he needed to play hard to get to string him along, there would have been a little while where DU drow only saw him in the context of a trophy or conquest - but admittedly, he also thought Astarion was funny, and he thought he was smart - even someone as dense as him could see that the guy had read him perfectly, and proceeded to adapt as necessary to get what he wanted out of him - and DU drow fell right into it, willingly so. There would have been some mutual respect there between them from understanding each other's games.
Their ritual of letting Astarion bite him definitely planted a little seed of something too. I've talked about it plenty of times so I won't dwell on it, but DU drow enjoys the intimacy implied in allowing someone to hurt him. This was far from an emotional turning point in the relationship, but it did prompt him to start seeing Astarion differently (not better or worse - just differently.)
(I'm a little drunk and went on and on, enjoy LOL)
Then, after one or two intimate encounters, the Urge would have started taking too much of a toll - violent lust turned into lustful violence, and hence DU drow didn't want to have sex anymore out of a fear of losing control during the act; yet, he had learned to trust Astarion by then and would seek out his comfort and companionship all the same. Faced with the situation where sex is no longer an option, I imagine Astarion would have been caught off guard and let the mask slip more often than usual. Pair that with the fact that DU Drow is a surprisingly affectionate (in private) but highly withdrawn person, left him in the role of leading their exchanges. Astarion, I think, would have felt the need to talk; if for no other reason but to fill the air whenever they were alone together. Eventually DU Drow would have started talking back.
These were long nights of just looking up at the sky and going through things that happened that day, what led them here, what the companions are doing, talking shit about whats-his-or-her-name, often just straight up gossip. Astarion eventually realized he could say whatever he damn pleased in front of DU Drow and nothing seemed to phase him, and vice-versa. DU drow enjoyed his bluntness, his earnest impulsivity that matched his own, he laughed at his jokes (as well as some things that weren't meant as jokes) he enjoyed his teasing and his reactions when he said something putrid in return, he liked the way he smelled when he was clean and he liked his stink when he was filthy, he watched him fidget with his own clothes and hair until Astarion gave him a weird look and aggressively asked what he was staring at. He enjoyed when Astarion got angry at something he said, because it felt very genuine - and he didn't use to think of him as a very genuine person.
Astarion was the first to notice something was wrong with him - so DU drow felt comfortable talking about it openly. On the other hand, DU drow never pressed Astarion about his past unprompted - instead just letting him talk about it if he so wished and without trying to milk it for more details when he did choose to do so. Because they spoke a similar language of violence and operated under the same hedonist-based beliefs, it was easy to talk to each other even when there was friction between them - similarly, they were both always willing to move past and quickly "forget" when someone said something truly hurtful.
I don't know if there was a key moment where he realized this had turned into love; that was probably a word DU Drow dropped quite unabashedly sometime after they got to Baldur's Gate, and before they faced-off with Cazador (to no reciprocation or acknowledgment then, not that he minded). But sometime during act 3, DU drow simply assumed that after this was all over they would still stick together.
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george-weasleys-girl · 9 months
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Hi! Could you write something for George. I read the prompt list and "Have a little trust in yourself, i know you can take it." Caught my eye.
I intended to drop this a couple of hours ago, but life intervened. I haven't proofread it yet.🙂
Sweet Beginnings
Warnings: smut, oral(female receiving), p in v sex, cursing
Summary: George's girlfriend asks him to take her virginity for her 21st birthday
18+only
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"Don't be nervous, sweetheart," George's fingers traced her jawline. "We'll go at your speed. And if you say stop, we stop."
Y/N gave a shaky smile. Of her circle of friends, she was the late bloomer. Until she met George, she'd just never been comfortable enough with anyone to go beyond some heavy petting. So, when she told him what she wanted for her 21st birthday, he had to sit down.
"Are you sure?" He asked. "You know I'm willing to wait."
"I know." And she did know. Every relationship she'd been in fell apart at around two to three months because of her reticence. But, she and George had been dating for almost seven months, and if anything, their relationship was getting stronger.
That's why she was standing here, letting George undress her. Her dress lay in a puddle on the floor as he trailed soft kisses down her neck, his hands unclasping her bra with the deftness of someone who has done this many times before.
Once her bra had joined her dress, George stood back, admiring her. "So lovely," he mummered. "You have the prettiest tits I've ever seen." He reached out his hand but stopped just short of touching her. "May I?" He asked. Y/N bit her lip and nodded. His soft touch sent a shiver of pleasure down her spine. "Feel good?" he smiled, rolling his thumb around her nipple.
"Uh huh," she nodded again and gasped when he took her other breast in hand, first massaging it and then placing his mouth over it, licking and gently sucking the nipple. He nipped it just a little with his teeth, and a small moan escaped her lips that went straight to his already hard cock. It throbbed painfully in protest to being ignored, precum now flowing freely from the tip, expanding the wet spot on his boxers. George wanted so desperately to take her then and there, pounding into her until they were both shaking in pleasure.
But this was not the time for that. Tonight was all about her.
He moved downward slowly, leaving light kisses all the way down to her belly button.
Y/N closed her eyes, letting the sensations overtake her. She had no idea that she could feel so much ecstasy, and they had barely begun. Her swollen clit pulsed at the thought of what it will feel like when he's inside her.
"Fuck, George," she moaned.
He grinned against her skin and slowly stood up, letting his tongue trail up her torso as he went, drawing out more sweet sounds from her.
"It's no fair that you're topless and I'm not," he said, removing his shirt.
Y/N had seen him without a shirt before. But it was different now. His flushed chest rose and fell with excitement, and his rock-hard nipples looked absolutely delicious. A sudden boldness overtook her, and she raised her hands to his chest, mirroring his earlier ministrations. A low groan fell from his lips, encouraging her to lower lips to his chest, her tongue twirling little circles around his areola.
"Damn baby. Are you sure you haven't done this before?" He half moaned/half chuckled, raising her back up to face him and then guiding her to the bed. His hands slid down the length of her body, his fingers hooking her lacy panties, pulling them down and letting them fall to the floor.
George slid his hand between her folds as he lowered her down. He didn't think he could get any harder, but he was wrong. Y/N was dripping wet, and the moan that escaped her lips damn near sent him over the edge.
"Can I taste you, love?" He asked.
"Please," she opened herself wider.
George didn't hold back, burying his face in her pulsing heat. His tongue probed deep, lapping up her juice, as his thumb worked magic on her clit. Her moans filled the room and he ground his pleading cock into the mattress earning himself a brief moment of relief as his tongue moved upward to replace his thumb.
"Oh fuck, George!" She arched her back and curled her fingers into his hair, holding him in place. Knowing she wouldn't last much longer, he kitten-licked her sensitive nub a few seconds longer before pulling back.
"Can I slide a finger inside?"
"Y-yes, please," she begged, thrusting her hips up.
"Your wish is my command, my lady," he grinned and slid his finger deep inside her, his eyes locked onto her as pleasure overtook her as he slowly fucked her with his finger. It was then that the true force of the moment hit him. He was the first. The first to see her like this, the first to taste her, the first to hear her sweet moans, the first to penetrate her.
Godric, she was beautiful. And she was his, wholly and completely.
Sliding a second finger in, he continued to finger-fuck her as he lowered himself back down to bring her to completion.
It took only seconds to tip her over the edge. He sat up grinning and ran his tongue along his lips, gathering up every last bit of her climax.
"Georgie, that was amazing... " she looked down at the twitching bulge still trapped inside his pants. "But what about you?"
"Oh sweetheart, this was all about you," he gave her a gentle kiss. "Besides, that was just the set-up. Now it's time for the main event." He stood and began unbuttoning his trousers.
Y/N gulped. She'd fantasized about her boyfriend's cock many times, and she always imagined it would be quite filling. But seeing it now, standing at attention inches away from her, she began to doubt that would actually fit.
George noticed the shift. "Baby, is everything ok?"
Her eyes remained locked on his erect member. "I... um... " she stammered.
"It's alright, love, if you're not ready."
"It's not that. It's well..." Y/N searched for the right way to phrase it. "Will it fit?" She finally blurted out.
"Oh!" He looked down at himself. Previous girlfriends had praised him for his size. So, it never occurred to him to think how Y/N would view it, being a virgin. "I didn't think..." he began. "Are you sure you’re ready for this?" He asked again. "There are other things we can do."
"No," she shook her head. "I want to do this. I just... I need to take it slow."
He cupped her cheek in his hand. "As slow as you need."
Y/N nodded and lay back. George lined himself up and rubbed her still swollen clit with his thumb. "Have a little trust in yourself," he smiled down at her. "I know you can take it."
She returned his smile, his assurance bringing he a small bit of confidence. "Okay, I'm ready."
George pushed forward slowly, continuing to work her clit, hoping the pleasure would subdue some of the pain. "Still ok?" He asked once the tip was fully in.
"Keep going. Please."
He nodded, his full focus riveted on her, as he pushed himself further in, a soft groan escaping his lips.
Y/N watched him enter her, his thumb working faster as he got deeper. She bit her lip against the pain. Or maybe it was in pleasure.
He bottomed out and stopped, watching her expression. She gave him a small smile. "I just need a minute to... get used to it."
"Take all the time you need," he said gently. "We have all night."
After several seconds, the pain subsided. "Ok. I think I'm ready."
He started slow, and the pain returned. Sharp, but short-lived, leaving only desire and need. "Faster," she begged, wrapping her legs around his waist.
"Fuck baby, you feel like heaven," he groaned in her ear. "I'm not going to last long."
"Neither am I." She gasped, her orgasm already building again.
The ecstasy in her voice combined with the rhythmic pulsing of her sweet cunt around him sent jolts of pleasure through him. He threw his head back, groaning in time with her pulses. It only took a few more strokes to push him over the edge. With a long, guttural moan, he emptied himself deep inside her.
The sight of him falling apart and the feel of his cock pulsing as he filled her to the brim sent her tumbling after him.
"Are you ok?" He asked. They lay side by side facing each other.
"Better than ok," she smiled. "That was incredible. When can we do it again?"
George waggled his eyebrows and pulled her closer. "I love the way you think, darling."
~•~
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thehusbandoden · 5 months
Text
More Than Life Itself -Dabi x Reader | Alternative Ending to Burnt
A/n: I was feeling super soft at the end if you couldn't tell lol
I have school in the morning, I should get to bed.. but I'm so freaking inspired rn. I'll probably just fall sleep writing again.
Does anyone even read this? Am I talking to myself?
Wouldn't be the first time 😶
General info:
Genre: comfort- lots of comfort/angst to fluff (ish) \\ wc: 1,099\\ posted: 01/10/2024
Warnings!: (Please just trust me. Y/n doesn't just let him get away with it, but I don't want to spoil it lol). Crying, regret, mentions of toxicity, mentions of manipulation and gaslighting, Dabi's real name, hints of Dabi's past/backstory, flinching, slight self hatred, a slight mention of physical abuse, and slight self doubt! I think that's it, please tell me if I miss anything! <33 (anon in my ask box is turned on for my shy readers ;3)
Part One- Burnt (pure angst)
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You broke down sobbing as Dabi closed the door. You knew that this was for the best, and what he did was completely not okay, but that was the love of your life. Your one and only. Your soulmate. Your partner. Your beloved. Your first; and you were hoping your last.  
Yes, he could be toxic- okay. He was toxic frequently. He would yell, insult, manipulate and gaslight you. He would get jealous and possessive; and leave for months on end without a single word.  
He would break your heart; only to come back and repair it with his soft compliments, not only manipulating you into forgetting about it; but gaslighting you as he changed the story. Making himself look better.  
And you played along. Because his warm hands caressing your arms, shoulders, cheeks, and head were too loving. The way he kissed your forehead, whispering to you how beautiful you are felt too real. The way he would treat you outside of the bad times felt too... perfect. 
Your beloved Touya wasn’t all bad. He could be an amazing partner... half of the time. One thing you were- and are- grateful for is the fact that no matter how nasty, toxic, and straight up mean he can be; he has –and never will- cheat. It goes against everything he despises. He won’t do it. 
As you remember all the good times tears streamed down your face, sliding to your chin before falling onto your hand. Sobs echoed through the room as you held yourself. Rocking back and forth, you faintly hear someone calling your name. Roling your eyes, you flip the front door of your apartment off.  
No way you were letting that d-bag in. As he continues to call your name you scoff. Standing up, you head towards the door. Grasping the handle, you slam the door open.  
Right as you were about to say something you were- 
-abruptly awoken out of your slumber. You jolt awake, looking around in alarm. Dabi held your shoulders in worry, his turquoise eyes holding no recollection of the past argument.  
“Doll? What’s wrong, Babygirl?” Dabi cooed, pressing his knuckle below your eye, catching your tears. You flinch back from his touch. His eyes widen, and he pulls away.  
“S-sweetheart...” he murmured, his gorgeous orbs moving to the floor. You stare at him, tears still streaming down your face. He moved his eyes to focus on yours. “Baby what happened? Please tell me... I’m worried.” Dabi murmured.  
You shook with sobs as you stared at your beloved. His perfectly framed face held no hint of the malice it had before. His eyes were full of concern, love, and even hurt from your flinching 
“I-I had a nightmare.” You whisper, slowly melting into his touch. 
“A nightmare?” Dabi whispered, slowly brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.  
You nod, whimpering ever so softly. Your heart ached at the vivid images of your nasty argument, physical abuse, and break up.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” Dabi whispered, pressing a long kiss to your forehead, holding your jaw gently, stroking your soft skin. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”  
“I- I...” tears slipped down your cheeks. Dabi’s calloused thumbs caught them, wiping them away. You take a deep breath. “C-can you hold me against your chest? I-I don’t want you to look at me...”  
Dabi gently pulled you to his chest the second you asked him to; you didn’t even have to finish your request. He caressed your head, cheeks, shoulders and arms, whispering sweet things to you and kissing your forehead. “Of course, Babygirl. Take your time.”  
After a few minutes you take a deep breath before slowing replaying your traumatizing nightmare. Dabi slightly stiffened but didn’t interrupt. As you re-laid how your argument progressed and how he ended up burning you, his grip tightened, cradling you to his chest as his jaw clenched in fury.  
Yes, he knows that it was a nightmare. And yes, he knew that he didn’t actually do it- and that he would never hurt you like that.  
But he couldn’t help but be angry at himself. Angry that he theoretically hurt you, that you were crying because of it. 
He was silent as you finished your account. As you finished, he gave the both of you time to process your words. After a few minutes, he gently titlted your chin up, staring into your gorgeous eyes, the windows to your soul. He caressed your cheeks and jaw, his turquoise eyes filled with un-wilting love and endless affection.  
“Y/n, my love-” he whispered, pausing to let the words sink in. “-I will, and would never do that to you. I swear to you on my life, I. Will. Not. Hurt. You.”  
His words were filled with unwavering confidence. He pressed gentle kisses to your cheeks, kissing your tears away. “I would rather die than hurt you like that. Ever- for any reason.” He whispered, cupping your cheeks with his calloused yet gentle hands.  
Your breath hitched in your throat at the obvious truth in his eyes, telling you that he was dead serious. After a few seconds tears ran down your cheeks yet again. You closed your eyes, leaning in ever so slightly; telling him that you were well enough for him to kiss you. 
Dabi slowly leaned in, pressing his lips to yours sweetly. Dabi rarely kissed you so gently, taking his time to tell you how much he absolutely adored you. He kissed you until you gently pulled away, needing air.  
Smiling, Dabi leaned his forehead against yours. “I love you, so much; and trust me baby when I say: I am truly sorry.”  
You replied a few tender moments later. “For what?” Your voice was low and hoarse.  
“For making you cry... for making you feel so- however you’re feeling.”  
“Baby... you didn’t do anything...” you frown slightly, though his innocence was endearing.  
“But I’m a broken man... I could totally see me being so... destructive... you must have been worrying about that- or I don’t know... you deserve so much better, my sweet girl.”  
`“Baby, please don’t say that. You are not broken. You have been hurt, really hurt, but you aren’t broken. The mind is a funny thing, but I can assure you: you are exactly what I need and want. I love you, with all of my heart.”  
If Dabi physically could, he would be tearing up. He pulls you into another kiss, slowly stroking your hair. “I love you too... more than life itself.”
~~~~~
Dabi's masterlist | Part One- Burnt (pure angst) | Navigation | Masterlist | Tip Jar <;3
Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated <33
~~~~~
Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.
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rosylix · 1 month
Text
chaotic, my heart is off time
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a certain dare leads jisung to discover he may not be as straight as he thinks he is or: felix is really pretty and jisung is confused
pairing: jilix (jisung × felix)
wc: 12.2k
content: college au, fluff, smut, a little angst, they are both awkward cuties tbh, alcohol, passing mention of drugged drink. slight inexperience, extremely platonic handjobs between bros, switch!felix kinda?, sub!jisung semi-awakening, jisung has a lot of feelings that scare him, depictions of anxiety/minor panic attack, sexuality crisis, includes texting screenshots (mainly at the end)
[also read on ao3]
It's all Hyunjin's fault, really. 
Jisung has nothing else to blame except his innate stupidity and the one too many drinks he had downed that are making him act even more stupid, if that's even possible. 
Stupid, stupid, stupid. This whole thing is just so stupid. 
That's the only thought in his head as he wanders the house of whichever classmate is hosting this party (probably one of Chan's friends, he knows everyone), searching for someone who would be down to let him give them a handjob without it being awkward or weird.
He should've known truth or dare was a terrible idea.
“Hm… I dare you to give someone a handjob,” Hyunjin had said with a smirk. “It can be anyone at the party.”
Jisung blinked. “Are you serious?”
“Dead serious.”
“But how will you even know, like…”
“I'll know,” he said simply, and gave him an unsettling look like he knew something Jisung didn't.
And that was it. Jisung was pushed out of the room, practically sent to the wolves to complete the dare before midnight. He felt like a fucked up rendition of Cinderella or something.
A handjob? Really, Hyunjin? Jisung doesn't even swing that way and yet he can't find it in himself to back down from the dare. He knows it's a problem, his inability to admit defeat when faced with a challenge. Not to say that the alcohol buzzing through his system isn't playing a part as well. It definitely is.
Jisung lightly slaps himself and mentally tells himself to get a grip, dude. It's just a handjob between bros. A totally chill and normal endeavor! He doesn't know why he's making such a big deal out of it (he's definitely done weirder things before) but something about the idea is making a weird nervous feeling creep through his system.
It's fine. It's literally not a big deal. I'm sure the guys wouldn't even mind getting jerked off, he tells himself as he continues looking around (definitely not stalling) from the corner he's found himself nestled in. Ultimately, he decides that in order to have the least awkward situation possible he should try to find someone he's friends with rather than a random stranger. He goes through his list of friends he's comfortable with.
Chan? No. God, no. Jisung cringes immediately after thinking it. Chan's like a friend, brother, and parental figure all in one to Jisung. Even if he might agree to help, Jisung does not even want to entertain the thought any longer. He shudders.
Changbin? Uh… maybe? He was there at the truth or dare game so he already knows the situation. But he was also giving Hyunjin googly eyes the entire time so maybe not. Blegh.
Minho? Jisung thinks this is probably his best bet. Worst case, his hyung will laugh at his situation and turn him down kindly. But he trusts Minho to not let it become awkward between them either way.
Still, he should probably think through his other options. Obviously not Hyunjin… Jeongin? Even though he knows he's not, Jisung still sees him as a pure, innocent kid, he can't help it. Something about it just inherently feels wrong, he's like his little brother. Absolutely not.
So then, Seungmin? Honestly Jisung isn't totally averse to the idea… but Seungmin is his roommate and he would never be able to escape if things become awkward. So, no.
He doesn't know how long he's been standing there, probably looking pretty creepy he suddenly realizes, when a hand snaps in front of his face.
He blinks. When he looks up he sees a mildly annoyed Seungmin staring at him. Speak of the fucking devil.
"That was my drink, you know."
Oh. Jisung looks down at the drink he's holding—huh, when did he grab that?—and looks back up at Seungmin with an apologetic expression.
"I was wondering where this came from, sorry Min."
Seungmin waves it off. "That's so like you to just pick up any drink. You're lucky it was mine and not, like, some random person's." He pauses. "Or drugged."
Jisung laughs nervously. "Yeah uh, you're right, I'll be more careful." He straightens up. "Thank you for sacrificing your drink for the greater good," he says solemnly with a bow.
Seungmin rolls his eyes. "Yeah sure, anytime." He pauses. "Are.. you alright though? You've been standing here spaced out for a while but you usually love to go around annoying everyone. I would know, unfortunately." Another small roll of his eyes, then tilting his head to the side, he offers a light smile. "If you want we can go home and just watch Netflix or something?"
Of course Seungmin can tell something's up. Jisung isn't always the most comfortable in larger social gatherings with people outside his immediate friend circle. He much prefers to stay in his room and binge watch YouTube videos until he passes out, something his roommate is well aware of. Jisung appreciates the concern even if that isn't the current cause of his worries.
Still, he doesn't really want to bother Seungmin with his current predicament. "Aww, is my little Minnie worried about me~? I knew you cared about meee!" Jisung drawls, draping himself slightly over the taller boy in a messy embrace. 
"Shut up, oh my god you're so annoying." Seungmin pushes him away but Jisung doesn't miss the slight pull at the corners of his mouth. "Anyway, I was serious. I was gonna go bother Old Man Chan but if you wanna leave that's cool too. You seemed really out of it earlier. Just staring at this thing like it would give you life's secrets." He grabs the can from Jisung's hand and grimaces after taking a sip, muttering something about alcohol ruining the perfectly good taste of lemonade before handing it back to Jisung.
While the offer to just bail on the party and his dare is tempting, Jisung doesn't want to give up like that. His pride and dignity are on the line here. "Oh uh, I mean, it's nothing really. Just another one of Hyunjin's weird dares, I can handle it. But thanks Seungie."
He tries to give a reassuring smile but it must have come off a bit nervous anyway because Seungmin gives him a cut-the-crap look. "Okaay, but still, you never get this worked up over his dares. What did he say to do this time? I'm sure it can't be worse than that time you licked—"
Jisung's eyes widen and he immediately slaps a hand over the taller boy's mouth. "Oh my god Seungmin, we don't talk about that. That was quite possibly the worst thing I've ever done." He groans at the memory.
Seungmin laughs and pushes his hand away. "Yeah that was pretty bad. So? It can't be as bad as that right?"
Jisung bites his lip, damn it, he was hoping Seungmin would drop it. He doesn't even know why he's getting so in his head about the dare, he's sure Minho or one of the others will be fine with it once he explains the situation. What's a brojob between bros, right? Right?
Shit, Seungmin is still waiting for an answer. Should he just tell him? He's comfortable enough with him that it wouldn't be that weird. But.. he just can't bring himself to. "Hmm… I don't know. I mean it's a little weird but at least I won't have to do this one in front of other people. No public embarrassment this time if that's what you were hoping for," he says around a grin that thankfully comes naturally.
Seungmin frowns and opens his mouth to say something when he's waved over by a smiling Jeongin. He smiles back, then turns back to Jisung, who doesn't fail to notice the light dusting of pink on his cheeks. Oh? He's definitely gonna tease Seungmin for that later. "Alright, well if you're sure you're okay I'll leave you to it but you're telling me all about this later. And if it's really that bad then don't do it, okay? Hyunjin wouldn't force you to do anything if you really don't want to." 
“I know… thanks,” Jising smiles genuinely. “Uh—completely unrelated—have you seen Minho hyung anywhere?”
Seungmin raises an eyebrow but shakes his head. “I heard from Chan that he left already. Something about his cats he said. Why?”
Jisung's heart sinks. There goes his only real hope. “No reason…” he shakes his head and puts on a smile again. “Um, I think your boyfriend's waiting.” He points to Jeongin with a small smirk.
Seungmin's ears turn scarlet as he sees who Jisung is pointing to. His head snaps back wildly. “My what— we're not—”
Jisung puts his hands up in surrender. “Okay, my bad, my bad… I didn't say anything.”
Seungmin narrows his eyes. “No, you didn't. Bye!” And he runs off in Jeongin's direction, leaving Jisung alone with his—well really Seungmin's—drink.
Jisung leans back into his corner, thoughts going rampant. Minho, his only saving grace, already left. What does he do now!? Obviously he knows Hyunjin would never force him into doing the dare if he's really uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean Jisung wouldn't be embarrassed for not being able to! And it's not that he doesn't want to, he's just… worried. Worried that it'll be too weird and awkward and Jisung really doesn't want to mess up any of his friendships. Not to mention his… limited experience. Sure, he has some experience with girls but with a guy? Obviously not. What if he's like, really, really bad??
Whatever! If Jisung is anything, he's not a coward. In a sudden rush of adrenaline, he tips his head back, downs the rest of Seungmin's drink, and seeing as all his friends are out of the question, he decides to walk over to the first male specimen he lays his eyes on. What could go wrong?
Oh. Of course everything could go wrong. He realizes his grave mistake when he notices the unmistakable head of blond hair in his vision. Felix. Pretty boy and literal innocent ball of sunshine.
Felix had recently transferred from Australia, and while he was super friendly whenever they talked, they weren't incredibly close. Not that Jisung doesn't want to be, it just takes him a while to warm up to new people. And they only share one class together. Still, they do talk a lot in that class, and he probably hasn't gotten comfortable with someone that fast since Minho hyung, Jisung realizes with some surprise.
But that wasn't the issue. From what he could tell (from a few truth or dare rounds from previous parties), Felix became really shy whenever the topic was even slightly sexual. He definitely wouldn't want to go along with Jisung's dare, and would probably be uncomfortable even talking about it. The last thing Jisung wants is to make anyone uncomfortable, least of all Felix.
He moves to turn around but it seems the blond has already noticed him approaching by the way he breaks out into a smile and waves. Jisung silently curses his dumb impulsiveness as he continues making his way to the other boy. It's fine. He can just act normal, talk with Felix for a bit and then go find someone else.
But when he arrives and sees Felix up close, Jisung's mind goes blank. With truly striking timing, the single brain cell he'd been clinging to all night decides to abandon him and he just stares for a few seconds.
Finally, his brain decides to award him a single staggering thought: Oh, he looks really pretty. 
Felix looks back at him, bright smile still reaching his eyes, which are shimmery and lightly lined with eyeliner. And oh, Jisung is just standing here like an idiot, which he is, but god, he's really been acting more idiotic than usual.
"Uh, hey Felix!" he says and cracks a hesitant smile.
"Yo, my twin! What's up?"
Jisung laughs and immediately relaxes a little. They had found out that their birthdays are only one day apart during a lame icebreaker in class. "Just… wanted to say hi. How're you liking the party? It's only, what, your second or third one here? Chan's parties are always the best."
"It's cool! And yeah, Chris—I mean, Chan hyung's like totally awesome. At first I was intimidated by him but when I found out he's a fellow Aussie I almost cried on the spot. I definitely wouldn't have adjusted as well if not for him." Felix looks away and smiles to himself, to Jisung's relief. He was admittedly having a hard time maintaining eye contact with Felix's bright eyes constantly glittering up at him.
“I know what you mean. He's saved my life more than once.” Jisung chuckles. Then he figures he should escape before he inevitably makes a fool of himself. “Uhh, anyway I just wanted to check in and say hi but I guess I'll get going…”
“So soon? I was thinking of checking in with you actually.”
Jisung blinks. “You… sorry?”
“You've just been standing over there for the past twenty minutes or so", Felix points to the corner Jisung was lurking in earlier. "Even I know that's kinda uncharacteristic of you. I was getting worried. And then you just came speeding towards me like a man on a mission."
“You were watching me that whole time!?” Jisung all but shrieks.
“Ah, um…” Felix rubs his neck. “Not the whole time but… yeah.” He shrugs, “Sorry, is that weird? I was just worried about you.”
Jisung feels his heart swell from the kindness of this boy he's not even incredibly close with. He should make an effort to talk to him more often outside of class. “No it's… it's nothing. We were playing truth or dare and Hyunjin gave me a pretty strange dare so I've just been, y'know, thinking about how to get out of it I guess." He laughs and shrugs.
Felix hums. "Is it as bad as when Hyunjin made you lick the—"
Jisung's mouth drops open and he instinctively covers Felix's mouth with his hand. "Oh my god, Felix! How do you even know about that!?"
Felix shrugs. "Your friends seem to love telling embarrassing stories about you." Jisung feels him laugh under his hand, and his face warms when he realizes where that hand still is. He quickly pulls it back and instead uses it to bury his head in, partly to hide the red on his face and partly because he, quite simply, would like the ground to open up and swallow him whole.
The universe wouldn't be so kind as to grant him that though. Jisung would have gladly spent the next thirty minutes reliving embarrassing moments in his life (unfortunately there is no shortage of these) and wanting to die but the sound of Felix giggling tempts him to peek between his fingers.
"Don't worry, they haven't told me much else," Felix says, the teasing smile remaining on his face. "But I do know about when you publicly asked Ryujin out only for her to tell you she's a lesbian—"
"Whoa, hey!" Jisung retorts, his hands now up in the air. "Yeah, that was embarrassing but it wasn't that bad! How was I supposed to know she's not into guys? Well, okay, maybe it's pretty obvious and I'm just a dumbass but still!" Jisung pouts. "Can we not talk about my failed attempts at romance anymore?"
Felix laughs. "Sure, you never told me what crazy dare you got from Hyunjin this time,” he tilts his head curiously.
Damn, Jisung almost forgot about why he's in this situation in the first place: that stupid dare that's making his mind run in circles. “Haha, well, it’s… it's nothing.” He says oh-so eloquently.
Felix pouts. “I'm so curious now. Can’t you tell me, please?”
Jisung's heart stutters a bit at the way the other's lip juts out. Cute. “I-It's just…” he sighs. How is he supposed to say no to that face? “Um.. he dared me to… to give someone here a… a handjob…?” It comes out like a question for some reason.
Felix's eyes widen. “Oh.” He pauses and Jisung feels like he already messed things up. He's just about to change the subject when Felix speaks again. “Were you… gonna ask me..? Is that why you came up to me?” he asks hesitantly.
Jisung waves his hands around frantically. “No! No, I mean—” He cringes. “Kind of..? I kind of wasn't thinking and just went to the first person I saw, but when I recognized you I changed my mind, I swear!” 
For some reason, this only makes Felix look sad. “You didn't want to because it was me..?” he asks quietly.
“I-I mean—it's just, you're—...” 
“I'm what, Jisung..?” Felix looks hurt.
Jisung doesn't know what to do. He thought he was being considerate of Felix by not wanting to do this with him but Felix seems upset?? God, what did he do!? 
“N-No, it's not you, I mean, it's not that I don't like you! I just figured you'd be uncomfortable or something so…” 
“Oh.” Thankfully, Felix seems slightly placated. “W-Well, I'm not, so…”
Jisung blinks. “Um, you're not.. What do you mean…” he laughs nervously.
“I'm not uncomfortable. I'll let you… if you want… I don't, um, mind.”
Jisungs mouth falls open and he gapes at Felix. Surely, he misheard. “A-Are you serious?”
“Mhm…” Felix nods, his face pink.
“Um.” Jisung blinks rapidly as his brain practically short circuits at what Felix is saying. He's okay with it?! Jisung swears he must be losing his mind. This is a dream, right? There's no way he would actually agree to this. His brain suddenly conjures up images of what it would be like to touch Felix in that way. Oh my god. 
Unsure if Felix notices Jisung's brain melting out of his skull, he's snapped back to reality when he hears Felix hesitantly ask, “Do you not want to..?”
“No! I mean, yes? I mean, it's just a little weird, you know? But you'd be doing me a favor I guess, so… yeah. Um, if you're sure you're okay with it?” Jisung swallows.
Felix's lips turn up slightly and he nods, effectively quelling the anxiety that had been bubbling up in Jisung's stomach. And, wow, he must be more tipsy than he thought because suddenly he thinks Felix looks even more beautiful than before.
Jisung's heart stutters inexplicably again. He nods. “Okay, let's um, go somewhere?” He grabs Felix's hand.
The two of them find an empty bedroom and Jisung locks the door behind them as they walk in.
Jisung shuffles onto the bed somewhat awkwardly, Felix joining him slowly. They sit like that for a few seconds and Jisung notices Felix fidgeting with his hands slightly.
Jisung decides to break the silence. "Um." Felix lifts his head. "You know you don't have to do this right? Like, really, really don't have to," he laughs nervously.
Felix nods, "Yeah I... I know, thanks." He gives a soft smile. "I guess I'm just a little nervous? I don't know." 
Jisung bites his lip. "Have you ever..?" 
Felix looks back down at his hands. “Um… a few times back in Australia but, like, not that far."
“Oh okay. You always seem so shy about the topic so I thought..”
Felix blushes slightly. “I went to a catholic school, so I'm just.. not used to talking about it so openly I guess,” he shrugs.
"Well, if it makes you feel better, I've never done this before,” Jisung admits. Felix looks up in what looks like shock. "I mean—! I mean, never with a guy. I'm uh, y'know, I'm straight."
Felix blinks for a second. He nods slowly.
"Anyway! It's not a big deal right? Are—are you sure you're still okay with this?"
“Um.. if you are.”
“Yeah, well, I'm not really the one with a choice here..” Jisung laughs. 
Felix frowns. “Of course you have a choice. Why would your friend dare you to do this anyway if you're straight?? That's kinda weird.”
“Is it..? I feel like it's… I mean, it's not really a big deal. Just a brojob between bros. It doesn't have to be weird, right?”
“A bro—...” Felix coughs out a laugh. “R-Right. If you're sure.”
Jisung nods. “Yeah. Are you?”
Felix nods as well.
"Okay, should I just, um," Jisung shifts so he's closer to Felix and reaches for the other's thigh. He's kind of at an odd angle though, so, without thinking much about it, he swings a leg over Felix so he's sitting in the other's lap.
Felix just stares up at him with wide eyes. Shit, did he make things too weird? "Uh.. is this okay?" 
Felix blinks and clears his throat. "Yeah. You can, um, start. I'll tell you if I want you to stop," he says quietly.
"Okay," Jisung whispers, afraid to break whatever strange atmosphere has settled around the two of them.
He tried to sound confident earlier but god, he doesn't know what the hell he's doing. Unable to bear looking into Felix's eyes any longer, Jisung looks down and slowly, hesitantly slides his hand up Felix's leg and presses against the front of his jeans.
Felix lets out a huff of air so Jisung does it again, working over Felix's jeans until he's breathing heavily and Jisung can feel a more prominent bulge under his fingers.
"Um should—can I take these off?"
Felix lets out a shaky breath. "Yeah."
Jisung undoes the button and pulls down the zipper almost painstakingly slowly. He can feel the younger's eyes on him but he refuses to meet them. Once it's fully unzipped, Felix shifts and lifts his hips up so Jisung can pull his pants and boxers down.
And oh my god. Jisung didn't think that he would literally ever think this about another guy's dick but it looks almost... pretty? He just stares for a few moments, unsure of how to proceed when his head feels fuzzy with radio static.
Felix shifts nervously under Jisung's gaze. "Jisung..." It's almost a whine and fuck, since when did Felix sound that pretty? He swears his name has never sounded prettier on someone else's lips.
But shit, right, Felix is right in front of him, Jisung is basically on top of him, and he's waiting for Jisung to touch him.
So he does.
As soon as he wraps his fingers around Felix and starts to move, the younger shudders and sighs quietly. Having literally no other experience, Jisung just tries to do what does on himself. He slides his hand up and down slowly, and when he swipes his thumb over the tip, Felix lets out a little moan that prompts Jisung to look at his face for the first time since they started. And oh.
Felix's eyes have fluttered shut and his eyebrows are slightly furrowed. He's flushed, mouth hanging slightly open as he draws in shallow breaths. Jisung doesn't know what to do besides stare and keep moving his hand as he tries to commit the image in front of him to memory.
Felix bites his lip and grips the sheets when Jisung goes over the head again and holy shit, he's leaking so much. Jisung doesn't really know what he's doing but he supposes he's doing it right by the way Felix is breathing heavily through his nose, lips pressed shut. Jisung wishes he wouldn't try to be quiet.
"Felix." He looks up, and fuck, Jisung didn't think this through because now Felix is looking at him, eyes dark and heavy, and Jisung hears static again.
"Yeah? Ahh—" He moans before pressing his lips and eyes shut again.
Fuck.
"Don't—don't cover your noises."
Felix looks at him with an unreadable expression that makes him think he overstepped for a second, but then he slowly nods and complies, letting out more and more of those pretty little sounds that are making Jisung lose his mind.
On one particular stroke Felix tips his head back and cries, "Fuck, Jisung, please.."
Jisung seriously thinks he might pass out. "You're so pretty."
Felix shivers and whimpers, eyes shut tightly and Jisung literally has no clue what possessed him to say that but after seeing Felix's reaction he sure isn't planning on stopping any time soon.
"So pretty." A little noise from the back of Felix's throat. He feels like he's under a spell, words just falling out of his mouth. "S-So beautiful like this, making the prettiest sounds. Baby..."
Felix gasps into Jisung's chest, cock twitching as he lets out an embarrassed keening noise. One of his hands comes up to grasp Jisung's arm for leverage. 
Until now, the hand not on Felix's cock has been just sitting on the bed, so Jisung tentatively brings it to Felix's waist. And holy fuck his waist is so small but at the same time Jisung could feel well defined abs through his shirt and how is Felix even real?
He hesitantly slips his hand under the hem of Felix's shirt, who gasps at the sudden skin contact.
"Is this okay?"
Felix nods and Jisung feels his breath catch when a small hand covers his own, guiding it further along his torso in a silent plea to keep going.
He continues to explore the expanse of Felix's body in awe as the younger drops his hand to grip at Jisung's thigh instead. He's panting heavily and letting soft moans and whimpers slip past his lips with every drag of Jisung's hands along his cock or abdomen. 
Jisung trails the hand on Felix's chest higher until he slowly, experimentally brushes over his nipple. Felix arches his back into Jisung's hand and his head tips back as he moans so fucking low in his throat it really shouldn't be possible. 
Jisung watches Felix shake under him as he rubs his thumb in circles over the nub before moving to the other one. He starts letting out desperate little whines, the stark contrast from his low moans leaving Jisung's head reeling.
"Fuck, fuck, I can't—m'gonna—" 
Jisung takes it as a sign to redouble his efforts, stroking faster until Felix is gasping, "please please, Jisung, please," and it's all Jisung can do to stare dumbly as he moans and cums in streaks of white that slide down Jisung's hand. He works him through it, pulling his hands away once the younger's breathing has calmed down a bit.
For several seconds, they just sit there, sharing heavy breaths. Unable to meet the other's eyes, Jisung stares at his hand, covered in Felix's release. He almost wants to lick it which—okay, what the fuck. He isn't going to think about where that thought came from right now.
He takes a deep breath and grabs a tissue from the nightstand.
Felix does the same. Jisung finishes wiping his hand and looks up to see that Felix is also cleaned up, and after pulling his pants back up he hides his face in his hands. 
Jisung's heart sinks. He ruined everything didn't he? "Um.. are you okay? I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable���"
Felix's head lifts up, eyes wide. "No! No, I mean, wouldn't it have been more uncomfortable for you? I'm just embarrassed," he says, cheeks red and looking to the side.
"Huh?? Why are you embarrassed?" Jisung says incredulously. If anyone should be embarrassed, it's Jisung for getting so wrapped up in the dare. Saying all those things to Felix, telling him to not be quiet, calling him baby?? He feels like he's on fire from embarrassment, hot and flushed all over.
"What do you mean? You're not the one who was just begging like a little bitch. Fuck, I'm so sorry." He drops his head back into his hands.
Jisung taps his chin thoughtfully. "You have a praise kink," he says observantly.
Felix flushes and gasps. "I do not! " He lunges forward and Jisung's not entirely sure what happened but suddenly he's on his back and Felix is on top of him and it feels good and he moans when the other boy presses into him, what the fuck?
What the fuck.
Felix stares down at him with wide eyes and Jisung's positive he's bright red right now. What the fuck, he's hard? Just from touching Felix? This was absolutely not part of the plan. What the fuck. He closes his eyes and desperately wishes for the soft bed covers to consume him so he would never have to face Felix or anyone ever again.
Alas, he hesitantly opens his eyes and Felix is still hovering on top of him. Why, why, why hasn't he moved yet? Jisung can't even try to run away. There's truly no escape, he'll just have to face this hell that he created for himself.
Right when he opens his mouth to sputter out an apology or something, he isn't really sure, Felix moves against him again and it just feels so good and Jisung fucking moans again.
Felix inhales sharply. "Sorry, oh my god I shouldn't have— Are you—? Fuck— Do you want me to like… Like I wouldn't mind if— Since y'know... But should I stop?" he stutters.
Jisung doesn't know what stupid sex hormones he's drunk on, or maybe he's still feeling tipsy from the lemonade earlier because he's struck with the vague and inexplicable urge to kiss the boy on top of him.
Or maybe that's just the effect Felix has on him.
"Kiss me..?" He mumbles and subsequently watches Felix's eyes widen along with his own. He slaps his hand over his mouth in horror.
"No wait, fuck, I didn't mean to say that, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so stupid—"
Now Felix's hand is the one to cover Jisung's stupid mouth and he squeezes his eyes shut both in embarrassment and a weird surge of arousal at the feeling of having his mouth covered which he is not going to think about right now.
"I.. can do that… if you really want me to?" Felix says while looking back and forth between Jisung's eyes, like he's searching for something.
Jisung's brain short circuits and he barely registers nodding or saying yes but he must have because it's all too fast how Felix is leaning down and their faces are inches apart and all Jisung can think about is how soft and pretty the other boy's lips look and is it normal to be thinking that—?
Felix kisses him sweetly, almost a little too sweetly considering the situation, and Jisung parts his lips instinctively. The kiss deepens quickly and Jisung gasps against the other's mouth when his thigh presses against the front of Jisung's pants.
"Is this okay still?" Felix asks gently. He looks so fucking ethereal above him like this it makes Jisung want to cry.
He nods. "Please don't stop."
Felix inhales shakily and nods before leaning back down, this time his lips attaching to Jisung's neck as his leg presses back against him.
Jisung can't help the noise that escapes him, he feels floaty already with just being touched through his clothes like this. 
“You can.. pretend I'm a girl or something,” Felix whispers as his mouth travels down his neck. Right. Right, that's probably why Jisung is feeling this way. Felix is so pretty, almost like a girl and he must be getting confused, it's only natural, right? But for some reason Jisung really really doesn't want to imagine Felix as a girl. 
“I-Is that what you did with me?” Jisung asks through a gasp as Felix bites his neck.
“Um, well, I'm bi so..” he looks up bashfully.
“Oh. Right, okay.” So Jisung's the only one who's weird here for enjoying this. Cool. He's not left much time to dwell on it because Felix's hand starts snaking down to press over Jisung's clothed dick, which at this point is embarrassingly hard and straining against his pants.
Felix toys with the button and raises his head, meeting Jisung's eyes to ask for permission. Jisung gives a little nod, nervousness and excitement bubbling together as Felix undoes the button and zipper and finally, finally, touches him for real.
Jisung hadn't realized he'd been waiting for so long.
His head falls back when Felix touches him and he's barely even doing anything yet but it feels unreal. He has the fleeting thought that maybe this is exiting platonic brojob territory and becoming something he's entirely unequipped to deal with. Maybe even since the kiss, or when he called Felix pretty, but he doesn't have the mental capacity to think too hard about it right now or even care. All his thoughts fly out the window when Felix's mouth finds his own again.
"Need you to stay quiet for me, I think I hear people outside," Felix murmurs against his lips, his voice impossibly low. Jisung hadn't even noticed he was making sounds.
"Don't want anyone else hearing you like this," Felix continues, muffling Jisung's moans with his mouth as he keeps moving his hand up and down his length slowly. Where the hell did he learn to talk like that?! The increasingly deep timbre of his voice was not doing Jisung's sanity any favors.
Felix must deem the hallway clear now because he removes his mouth from Jisung's, and Jisung is back to moaning abashedly. 
“D-Does it feel good?” Felix asks, as if he's unsure of himself. Jisung squeezes his eyes shut. Is it not obvious from the way he's reacting?
“I just—wanna make sure I'm doing okay.”
“It feels—oh god—really good.”
Felix grins shyly. “Yeah?”
Jisung brings a hand up to cover his mouth and nods. He can feel himself getting close embarrassingly fast. He starts to whine and his hips stutter a bit into Felix's hand. “Please..”
Felix leans down and presses his lips to Jisung's throat again. He bites down, not enough to leave a mark but it feels dizzyingly good nonetheless. Jisung's never had someone overpower him like this before. He feels completely at Felix's mercy. It makes him shiver.
“Jisungie, you're so…” Felix murmurs into his skin, lips trailing along his collarbone.
Jisungie. His heart wobbles at the nickname and he can't help but whine. Felix is driving him insane. “Felix I think I'm—aahh, Felix, Lix..”
He pulls away from Jisung's neck with a smack. “Yeah, Sungie?”
“C-Can you—..” he looks at Felix's lips pleadingly.
Felix immediately presses his lips to his in a passionate kiss. Jisung moans into it and before he can properly warn Felix or anything, he's cumming with a high pitched keen. If he were more aware of himself he'd be embarrassed by the noise but as it is he can't even feel his legs properly. He shakes as Felix brings him down from his high. Then they just stay there, breathing heavily against each other's mouths.
Felix moves first, taking a deep breath before leaning up and away from Jisung. He peers down at him with bated breath. Jisung just lays there, hair fanning out around him. He feels sluggish, entirely spent and he stares back at Felix like a real angel descended from heaven. He seriously wouldn't be surprised if he actually were.
His trance is broken by Felix's voice, “Are you okay?”
Jisung blinks as he registers the words. He nods and slowly sits up. Felix offers him a small smile.
Once they've cleaned up, the euphoric feeling in Jisung's gut starts slowly transforming into a deep rooted anxiety that crawls its way up his spine. Fuck. What did they just do? What the fuck is happening to him? He feels himself shrinking away from the other boy instinctually, but he catches himself and clears his throat, attempting to straighten up.
“Um.. are we bros now?” He tries to joke, but his laugh sounds forced even to him.
Felix's lip quirks up for a second but he looks at him carefully. “Is that what you want? To be bros?”
Jisung opens his mouth to say something like of course bro or yeah what else? But his throat closes up. A sudden, inexplicable feeling of fear creeps into his gut.
“Jisung?”
He feels like he's suffocating, almost choking on air as he tries to get words out. “I— I don't know what... what I want. I'm so confused right now, I…”
“Hey, it's okay—”
“N-No! No, it's not. I'm sorry, I can't—” He shakes his head and leans away from Felix. He can't shake the sinking feeling that something is very, very wrong with him. How could he let this whole thing happen? Why is he feeling like this? He feels like a fraud of himself. He doesn't know what to do, he can't even process his feelings. He just knows he needs to get away from here, now.
He stands up quickly. Felix reaches for him but he's already crossing the room in long strides. As he twists the doorknob, he glances back to see Felix sitting with a hurt and confused expression before he shuts the door behind him.
Fuck. Jisung still can't breathe. He feels like it's only getting worse now that he's out in the open where people could see him. At least the hallway is currently empty, and he stumbles down it, not sure where he's going but just needing to get away. 
He staggers into an empty room. At least, he thought it was empty, but as he crosses the doorway he's met with a pair of familiar eyes on a head of long blond hair.
“Hyunjin,” he says wobbly.
Hyunjin's eyes go wide when he sees the shaky state Jisung is in. “Jisung? What's wrong?”
That's when Jisung breaks down. Tears start streaming down his cheeks in rivulets. “I h-hate you! Why'd you make me do that??”
“Whoa, hey…” Hyunjin reaches for him and pulls Jisung to sit beside him. “I'm so sorry, Sung… Please calm down and tell me what's going on?”
“The dare, you idiot. I did your stupid dare!”
Understanding and a flash of regret click in Hyunjin's eyes. “...Ah.”
“Everything was fine. Now everything is.. I don't even know.” Jisung cries, pressing his hands into his eyes.
Hyunjin rubs his back soothingly. “Okay, shh, let's calm down first… So you did the dare? Can I ask who you did it with?”
Jisung sniffs as he tries to calm his breathing. “It was F-Felix.”
“Fe-lix?” Hyunjin repeats. “The kid from Australia?” Jisung nods. “Oh, Jisung…”
“I-It's your fault! You dared me, and then you were all like ‘I'll know if you don't do it’. What the hell!”
“God, I'm sorry Jisung. I wasn't thinking… I was just being dramatic, I'm not omniscient. How would I know if you did it or not?”
“I don't know, you just…”
Hyunjin sighs. “Okay, let's relax. First, did he hurt you? I'll kick his beautiful, angelic ass if he did anything to you.”
Jisung cracks a smile in spite of himself and shakes his head.
Hyunjin's face softens. “Then what happened..?”
“I… I don't know, he made me so… confused..”
One of Hyunjin's eyebrows lifts. “...He made you confused,” he deadpans.
“Like… like…” Jisung grips his hair. “God! I don't even know! Am I normal? I don't feel normal. I think something's wrong with me. I.. I don't understand what's happening.”
Hyunjin wipes the tears on his cheeks. “Why do you think something’s wrong with you?” he asks gently.
“Th-there's— I— I think I liked it too much,” Jisung whispers.
“You liked what? …touching Felix?”
Jisung cringes. “Y-Yes, which is so weird already, but then he— you don't understand, he also— touched m-me, and I liked it, so much, like— which is so weird— it scares the shit out of me— I a-asked him to kiss me, like, like a psychopath or something, he probably thought I was so creepy b-but he was so nice and so pretty and… I don't know what to do… Hyunjin I feel like I'm— like this isn't normal.”
Hyunjin just presses his lips together and nods, encouraging Jisung to continue.
“Like… like… he's a guy. Like yeah, he's objectively pretty but he's… he said to pretend he was a girl but I didn't, I don't think I even wanted to, but, like, I'm—I'm straight, right? I mean… I mean, yeah, it's not like I suddenly— I like girls! I know I like girls so why… like I shouldn't enjoy t-touching another guy right? That's…” Jisung shakes his head with wide, teary eyes. “I'm not like, gay.”
Hyunjin winces but he looks at him with something akin to pity. “Ouch dude, you know I'm gay, right? You're not… broken or anything, I promise this is normal Jisung.”
Jisung sighs into his hands. “Fuck. I know. God, I-I’m sorry, I didn't mean it like that… I just mean like.. there's no way I'm… like shouldn't I have known by now? I'm not, like a teenager anymore. I just.. I like… girls… it doesn't make sense, why is this happening now?” 
“It's okay, you can still like girls, you can like both. Even if you don't, that's still okay. Okay? It's not… there's not a predefined time when you realize this stuff. Some people live their whole lives in denial. This is normal. You're normal.”
Jisung nods. “R-Right, of course I can still like girls. So, maybe I'm like… bisexual or something? But honestly I've never—” He presses his fingers against his eyelids. “I mean, I don't think— but maybe? N-No I've never... But it's not like I see Felix as a girl, I mean, I touched his dick a-and he— his voice is like… crazy, I don't even know— B-But I've definitely never liked boys before so how would I suddenly—?”
Hyunjin rubs his shoulders. “It's okay. You don't have to figure it all out right now. Take your time. I'm here for you, okay?”
“I'm scared, Hyunjin,” he whispers.
Hyunjin's face breaks and he sighs. “I know. I'm sorry. I think I gave you that dare so you'd have an awakening or something but that was stupid. I didn't think… I hate seeing you like this.”
“Wha—... huh?? So you knew I'm maybe not super straight even before this?!”
Hyunjin bites his lip. “I didn't really know. I just had a feeling. And honestly, I wasn't expecting you to actually do it.”
Jisung's jaw drops, momentarily forgetting his anxiety. “You weren't expecting me to— Hyunjin! How could you think so low of me!”
“Okay, sorry! I shouldn't have dared you to do that knowing you'd be crazy enough to actually do it.” Jisung hits his arm. “It was more just to get you thinking about it!”
“You're crazy.”
“I'm smart. My gaydar is never wrong,” he taps the side of his head. “And I clocked you the day we met but you said you were straight... I was probably too tipsy earlier and figured I'd test you a little. That's all. I'm really sorry. I feel terrible for causing you this much stress.”
Jisung sighs. “It's okay. I just can't believe— how did you know? None of this makes sense…”
Hyunjin shrugs. “Like I said… I'm smart.” Jisung hits him again. “Okay, okay! But maybe this is good? Learning things about yourself?”
Jisung swallows. “Right… learning things…” he sighs. “I just—I screwed it up with him didn't I? I ran away. I just left him there.”
“You didn't screw it up. You're literally having a full blown identity crisis! He'll understand if you explain it to him.”
“But, what if he doesn't want to listen, or he already hates me, or… you should've seen his face when I left, oh god, I'm a horrible person—”
“Shh. Jisung. Do you like him?”
Jisung's face burns. “T-That's— I don't—”
“I mean, do you care about him? As a friend?”
“Of course,” Jisung pouts.
“Then you should talk to him. I wouldn't be surprised if he's still here. Just explain what happened, that you're going through a lot but you don't hate him. Right?”
Jisung nods. “Right, I—You're right. I don't want him to think that I find him gross or something, oh my god.”
“He's probably just confused too. Don't worry. Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, I… I think I'm okay now. Thanks though.” He stands up and touches his face. “D-Do I look like I've been crying?”
Hyunjin smiles sympathetically. “A little, but he'll understand. Go before he leaves!”
Jisung nods and runs for the door. He pauses there and turns around.
“Hyunjin?”
“Hm?”
“I'm sorry for yelling at you.”
He waves him off. “It's okay, I kind of deserved it I think. We're good, okay? Now, go!”
Jisung doesn't need to be told twice. He's out the door in seconds and practically sprinting his way back to the room he left Felix in.
“...God, it's so hard being right all of the time,” Hyunjin sighs.
Felix isn't there.
The room is empty. Felix isn't here.
Oh god. What if he already left and he's avoiding him and Jisung will never be able to talk to him and Felix will think he hates him and—
He takes a deep breath. He shouldn't jump to conclusions. He has Felix's number, he should just text him. He pulls out his phone.
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He paces around the room as he waits for his phone to light up. After a few minutes of nothing he sends a couple more messages and sighs. Maybe Felix is still at the party somewhere? Should he look for him?
Yeah, he decides, he needs to talk to Felix and make sure he's okay. Make sure they're okay. He can't stand the thought that Felix might think he hates him. It couldn't be farther from the truth.
Jisung paces out of the room and begins scouring every room for the familiar head of blond hair. But he's nowhere to be seen. Jisung tries not to cry. He's just about to loop around to where he started when he's stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He jumps. Felix?
“Jisung? Are you okay?” No, of course it's not. Jisung turns to face the familiar voice. 
“Seungmin,” he breathes shakily.
Seungmin gently places both hands on Jisung's shoulders. “What happened? You look frantic. What's going on?”
That's it. Jisung breaks down in tears. Again. He hates crying in front of another one of his friends but he can't help himself right now.
Seungmin looks alarmed. “Did someone do something? Are you hurt?” Jisung shakes his head. Seungmin sighs in relief. Then, his eyebrows draw together. “Wait, does this have to do with that dare?” 
Jisung hesitates, before nodding. 
Seungmin exhales. “Okay, we're leaving, okay? You can tell me about it on the way home if you want. Or not, but I don't think this place is very conducive to your wellbeing right now.”
Jisung nods and lets Seungmin guide him through the halls and crowds until they're outside. And he's right. As soon as he steps out of the claustrophobic walls he feels like he can breathe easier again. He sighs and wipes the last of the tears off his face.
Seungmin lets go of his hand. “You feeling better?” he asks.
“Yeah. Thanks, I.. guess I needed to get out of there.”
Oh, right. He should text Felix and let him know he's leaving, just in case he really is still at the party somewhere. He pulls out his phone. Seungmin looks at him, a question clearly painted on his face, but he stays quiet.
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Jisung sighs after hitting send and stuffs his phone in his pocket again. Seungmin looks at him searchingly. “What happened…?”
Jisung bites his lip. His immediate instinct is deflect, deflect, deflect, but he really should tell Seungmin. He deserves to know. Jisung explains the whole situation on the way back to their dorm, from the dare to his conversation with Felix, to his panic in the aftermath and talk with Hyunjin. Seungmin listens quietly, intently. Jisung leaves out the details of what actually happened with Felix, but it's hopefully enough for Seungmin to get the picture.
When Jisung finally finishes, Seungmin blows out a long puff of air, his cheeks puffing up. “Wow. I don't even… Damn. That's crazy.”
Jisung leans his head back and groans with his hands over his face. “I know. What do I even do now?”
“Flee the country.” Seungmin says matter of factly. Jisung huffs out a laugh. “Sorry. I'm shit at giving advice. But I know Felix. He doesn't seem like the type of person who wouldn't at least hear you out, you know? Don't stress too much.”
“Then why is he ignoring me??” Jisung frowns.
“There's so many possibilities, dude. He might be feeling equally as overwhelmed right now or his phone could be dead or he might just not have checked yet. It hasn't even been that long. Give him time.” Seungmin, ever the voice of reason.
“Yeah… yeah, you're right. I'm just—I don't know. I don't even know.”
���I'm always right.” Seungmin, ever the voice of arrogance. “It'll be fine, Jisung.”
“Okay… Just know, if you're wrong I will come crying to you.”
Seungmin's lips curl up. “I'm always right. But okay, sure.” He pauses. “Honestly, I'm surprised you even did the dare, I even gave you an easy escape and everything.”
Jisung lets out a loud sigh. “I don't even know, man. Maybe a part of me, like, wanted to… I'm so confused about everything to be honest.”
Seungmin hums. “This is kind of life altering shit you're going through. You're handling it pretty well, all things considered.”
Jisung's looks at him, lips forming an ‘o’. “You think?”
He nods, “I think I'd have broken down or something by now if it were me.”
“I'm—well, I'm trying not to. I guess I went through most of the whole breakdown freakout thing with Hyunjin. I'm just trying not to think about it too hard right now I guess.”
“That's fair. Don't rush it. Uh, and I'm here if you ever wanna... talk or whatever,” Seungmin waves his hand around.
Jisung smiles. “Thanks, Min. Seriously.”
“Yeah, yeah…” he says but he mirrors his smile.
The next morning, Jisung wakes up feeling more refreshed than he expected. He doesn't feel great, but at least he doesn't feel like his whole life and everything he thought he knew about himself is turning upside down like yesterday. That's something.
As much as he was glued to his phone last night, waiting for a message from Felix, he doesn't want to check his phone right now, scared of what he might (or might not) see. Everything feels more real now, outside of the illusionary haze of last night, and he's just not ready to face anything yet.
Instead, he busies himself with mindless tasks, like brushing his teeth and pouring a bowl of his favorite hangover cereal. He's not even hungover, he didn't drink that much, but he just needs that extra emotional support right now. It helps, he thinks.
Eventually, he has to face reality. His phone looms at him from his bedside table, facedown but glaring at him. Jisung sighs and reluctantly picks it up. 
He cringes a little when he sees the multiple notifications from his messenger app. There's a text from Seungmin saying he's out studying with a friend but to let him know if he needs anything. Studying the morning after a party? Nerd. But Jisung smiles at the kind gesture and types out a quick reply saying thanks but he'll be fine.
And.. there's a little number by Felix's contact name too. He doesn't even want to open it. He wants to crawl back into bed and hide for the rest of the day. He wishes this had all happened yesterday when he was still in the moment and running on adrenaline.
But this is a good thing! Felix isn't ignoring him. This is good. Jisung takes a deep breath and clicks into the message.
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He breathes out slowly. Okay.. Felix doesn't seem angry? He wants to meet up at least. Or what if he's just waiting until they're in person to unleash everything and tell Jisung to never talk to him again? God, he can't tell.
He doesn't want to respond. Okay, no, he needs to respond. He's the one who texted first anyway. Fuck, this is scary though.
He takes another deep breath to steady himself before carefully typing out a reply.
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Jisung's heart races when Felix's reply comes in within only a couple minutes. Thank god Felix doesn't seem creeped out at coming over. Jisung quickly agrees to the time and texts Felix his dorm and room number.
Then he waits. After sufficiently freaking out for an hour, stress cleaning and everything, Jisung hears a knock at the front door. Oh fuck. He's so not ready.
Regardless, he trudges over to the door. He takes a deep breath before unlocking and opening the door. 
Felix is standing there, bundled up for the chilly weather in a jacket but also sporting a pair of loose ripped jeans, which Jisung thinks is pretty contradictory. How are you gonna put so many layers on and then just have holes in your pants? How does that make sense? One hole above the knee is large enough that Jisung can literally see the outline of Felix's thigh. 
“Um… hi…” Jisung's eyes snap up. Wait, what was he even doing just now? He wasn't like… checking Felix out or something, right? No, that's absurd. Felix's torn up pants are absurd, and that's all he was thinking. About his pants. His jeans. 
“Hi,” Jisung replies awkwardly. Why is this so awkward? They haven't even said anything yet. God. “Sorry, um, come in?” He gestures and holds the door open.
Felix murmurs a soft “thanks” as he cautiously steps inside and looks around a bit.
“Um, thanks for coming…” Jisung starts. “Seungmin— my roommate isn't here right now. But we can go to my room if you want?”
Felix's eyes suddenly light up. “Seungmin? Kim Seungmin? Tall, funny, braces?”
Jisung blinks. “Yeah, what? You know him? Wait, you think he's funny?” He wrinkles his nose.
“Yeah! Well, maybe at my own expense… We're partners in this cooking class I'm taking.”
Jisung starts walking and leads Felix in the direction of his room as his eyebrows furrow. “A cooking—? No way. Seungmin can't cook.” 
Felix giggles. “Oh, I know. I swear it's actually contagious or something because suddenly I start forgetting basic things like how to use a mixer just by being near him. I think it's a curse.”
Jisung laughs, eternally grateful for the lighthearted shift in the atmosphere, the tense and awkward air dissipating. Talking with Felix is just like that, so easy. “Yeah, I keep him out of our kitchen for his own good. I had no idea he was taking a cooking class though, what the hell?”
Felix hums. “Maybe he's trying to improve?”
“Or he's just trying to cause chaos. And from what you said, it seems like it's working.” Jisung shakes his head as they step into his room.
“Maybe…” Felix mumbles, but his focus has shifted elsewhere. He takes in Jisung's room, seeming to observe every visible corner: anime posters on the wall and an acoustic guitar in the corner and the stuffed animals on his bed. Jisung blushes, suddenly grateful for his stress-induced tidying of every nook and cranny. He hadn't realized how intimate it can be letting someone new into his space like this. This is Felix's first time in his room.
Felix. In his room. Why does it feel weird? 
It doesn't, does it? Jisung is the only one making it weird. It's not weird for friends to hang out in each other's rooms. That's literally extremely normal. But still… Jisung usually waits until he's way closer with people before letting them in his room. He can't place the anxious feeling swirling in his gut.
“I like your room,” Felix says softly. “It's like how I imagined.”
“W-What does that mean??”
“It's a compliment! It's very you.”
“Okay well… thanks,” Jisung mumbles. Has Felix really imagined his room before? How close are they that Felix knows enough about Jisung to think it's very him? He pushes the thoughts aside. 
“So…” He sighs. Here comes the awkward again. But he can't avoid this forever. “Can we talk?” 
Felix nods. “…‘Course,” he says, leaning against the bed slightly. Jisung motions for him to sit down on it and follows suit, since there isn't much else seating in his room. “If you want to!” he stutters out but Felix just smiles and sits down on the bed. On Jisung's bed. Okay, cool, this is fine.
They face each other. “So….” Jisung starts, looking down at his hands in his lap. “I just wanted to apologize. I mean, I feel like we were acting pretty normal just now, and I'm really grateful for that, but you still deserve like, I don't know, an explanation? Or something? So yeah.”
Felix nods silently.
Jisung takes that as his cue to continue. “Right, so, yesterday, it was a dare, right? That wasn't a lie. Me and Hyunjin actually like, talked about it afterwards and we're cool by the way. Just in case you thought—well, I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. Um…” He takes a deep breath. “I mean, you were really nice about the whole thing and then I just left… kind of suddenly. That was really mean. I… I mean, you looked hurt too. Which, like, fair. That was a dick move. Um…”
Felix's voice is gentle, “Okay, hey, I get it, I'm not actually mad—”
Jisung finally looks up. “But you should be. Y-You're not mad? I would be mad. I mean, maybe not mad but confused? Frustrated? I— I kind of feel like it came across like I was… using you or something. I don't know. But that's not… Honestly I'm just really confused right now because—”
“Stop.”
Jisung blinks. “What?”
“Stop, I… I want to apologize too.”
“For what?!”
“For agreeing to it! I shouldn't have cus I…” He shakes his head. “And I kind of pushed you to tell me about the dare. You didn't seem comfortable. And I definitely should've stopped when you said you're straight... I-I was selfish.”
“Selfish?” Jisung repeats. “What?”
Felix sighs. “I agreed cus I was being selfish… Just, selfish reasons. I shouldn't have.”
“What does that even…? Dude, you're not selfish, if anyone is it's me for basically roping you into doing that for me and then leaving you high and dry like…”
Felix shakes his head. “That's not… you don't get it. I am selfish. Even being here right now… Selfish. Stupid.”
Jisung can't even begin to comprehend how that makes sense. “What…?”
“Jisung… Fuck, fine — I-I like you.”
“You like me?” Jisung mimics.
“…Yeah.”
Then it clicks. “Wait, oh. You like… like, like me?”
“...Well, that's good. I was worried it was super obvious for no reason.”
Jisungs mouth must be hanging open. “I... Are you serious?”
Felix laughs nervously. “Does it seem like I'm joking?”
“N-No but… I don't know. Oh my god. Shut up, I'm freaking out.”
“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I know you're straight—”
“That's the thing. I'm not— Just, just, wait a second, oh my god. Oh my god.”
“Jisung…” Felix bites his lip. “I'm sorry, we can just pretend I never said that and go back to normal, please, I promise.”
Jisung puts his hands over his face. “No, shut up… shut up, just wait a second, please. Please just wait.”
Jisung can't see him but Felix at least goes quiet and Jisung can think. He breathes for a few seconds. In and out. In and out.
“…I think I like you too. Like, like like you… so much. Like way more than just bros. But I don't know what that fucking means.”
Jisung's heart is beating out of his chest. He hears a catch of breath. Silence. Then a soft whispered, “What do you mean Jisung, are you sure?”
“Yes, I mean, no, but— I feel something, and this isn't normal, so—”
He feels gentle fingers pulling at his wrists. “Jisung, look at me.” He lets Felix pull his hands down off of his face, which he's sure must be burning red. “It's okay. I don't want you to like… pity me or something. I'm really okay even if you don't like me like that.”
Jisung shakes his head. “N-No, I'm not pitying you Felix, I swear. I really, really—” He swallows. “Even like, your hands just on my wrists right now, making me feel like— I- I don't know,” he breathes.
Felix immediately drops his wrists. “I'm sorry,” he says genuinely.
But that's not what Jisung wanted. “No! I liked it.” He reaches for Felix's hands and interlaces his fingers in his, immediately setting off butterflies in his stomach. “I like this..”
Felix swallows and squeezes his hand a little. “But anyone can like holding hands with anyone, that doesn't mean—”
“But it's not just that. We— Felix, we kissed. I… asked you to kiss me. Did you forget that? And we did… m-more obviously. I liked it.” The more Jisung tries to explain to Felix the more he feels like he's understanding and accepting his own feelings. “That's why I ran away. I was so… confused and.. and scared I guess, cus.. I've never felt… with a guy.”
“I didn't forget,” Felix whispers. “I believe you. I know it's scary. I-I went through it too. Just— Are you sure? I really… I don't wanna get my hopes up if…”
“Can I kiss you?” Jisung blurts out. “Then I'll be sure. I… You can definitely say no.”
Felix closes his eyes and looks to be in some kind of mental anguish for a few seconds. “Yes, okay…” he breathes.
Jisung squeezes the other's hand, still interlaced with his own. He leans in a little. “A-Are you sure?” he asks quietly.
“Yes, yes, please…” Felix says under his breath while leaning in a little as well. That's all Jisung needs before he's closing his eyes and swooping in to close the distance between them. 
It's like magic. Right at the moment their lips press Jisung has his answer. His stomach flips and it feels so different from last night where he was letting Felix have control. He keeps it going for a little longer, not really moving his lips but just pressing into the kiss for a few more seconds, relishing in the way it feels.
When he finally pulls away, Felix's eyes are closed, forehead drawn in as if he's the one going through a crisis right now. 
“Felix?”
“What? Please don't say you were wrong. I mean… I mean, of course that's fine but—”
“Felix. I liked it… Oh wait, so I actually like you? Oh my god—”
Felix's eyes fly open. “You really…? You're serious?”
Jisung nods, eyes equally as wide as his.
“Are you sure? Yesterday I can get over, but this feels too real. I don't think I can handle if— I mean, god, sorry, I know you're figuring things out but—”
“Yes. Well, I— I'm still confused about other things but… I'm pretty sure—I mean this feels pretty much exactly like when I have a crush on a girl. So..?” 
“Okay. Okay, sorry. It's not that I don't believe you, I just—I really wasn't prepared for this. But I get it, really.” He takes a deep breath in and out. “So you… you really like me? Really, really?”
Jisung nods shyly. “Um.. really, really. I think more than I realized.”
Felix blushes. “Right, so… I mean, I don't want to be too forward but..? And maybe you're not ready and that's totally okay. But do you wanna..? I mean if we both like each other then… doesn't it make sense if we…”
Jisung squeezes his hand encouragingly. “What are you trying to say?”
“I'm saying—and again, you can say no if this is too fast—but I'm saying… Do you want to… try being my boyfriend…?” He peeks up at Jisung nervously.
Jisung's heart stutters in his chest. He doesn't really have to think about his answer. Even if his brain is telling him it's a little scary, his heart is giving him an answer clear as day. “Yes, y-yes, I want that… to be your… boyfriend.”
Felix flashes a shy, relieved smile. “Yeah?”
“Y-Yeah. Oh my god, a boyfriend. You're my boyfriend? I have a boyfriend?” Jisung presses his hands against the sides of his face, squishing his cheeks.
Felix giggles a little. “Mhm, that's okay right? It feels okay?”
“Yes, I like it, it's a little weird but I really like how that sounds. A boyfriend. My boyfriend.”
Felix blushes. “Ah, stop saying it like that, it's embarrassing…”
Jisung shakes his head. “Can I kiss you again?”
Felix smiles and responds in the form of crashing their lips together. Jisung gasps. It's more intense than the one they previously shared but still very sweet and gentle. Felix's lips are so soft.
Jisung tilts his head to deepen the kiss. “I like you so much,” he mumbles against Felix's mouth between kisses. “Maybe for a while… I always… wanted you to like me… tried to impress you…”
Felix makes a quiet sound and suddenly Jisung feels wetness on his cheeks. “Are you…? Felix?” Jisung pulls away, and sure enough, there are tears pooling under Felix's eyes. Jisung looks at him with concern. “What's wrong?”
Felix ducks his head but smiles, and it's enough to quell Jisung's worries that he did something wrong. “S-Sorry—God, this is embarrassing. I-I don't know why I'm crying. I'm really happy, I promise.”
“Okay. Don't worry about it.” Jisung gently grabs Felix's face and wipes the tears from his cheeks. As he presses the skin below his eyes, an array of tiny dots start appearing, speckling his face. Jisung furrows his eyebrows. “Huh—? Do you have freckles..?”
The skin under his fingers turns pink and Felix squirms his head out of his grasp. “Nooo…”
Jisung gently grabs his face again. “No, let me see, please.” He swipes his thumbs along the other's cheeks, smudging more makeup away.
Felix sighs and seems to relent. “I don't like them…” he mutters.
Jisung is appalled. “Are you serious? Why not?”
Felix shrugs. “I dunno, just looks.. messy? And no one else here has them,” he says with a frown.
Jisung shakes his head. “They're so pretty. You're so pretty. How could you hide these? God, it's like everything little thing about you is so pretty, how is that even possible??”
“Stoooop,” Felix giggles, blushing bright red now. “They're not.. I'm not…”
“You are. You literally turned me gay or something,” he jokes. “That has to count for something.”
Felix laughs, but then his expression turns more serious. “Did I really—? I mean, you think you're gay?”
“Uh—No, I just said that. I don't know. I'm still so fucking confused,” Jisung tries to laugh it off nervously.
Felix nods. “If you wanna talk about it… no pressure of course, but I kind of went through something similar so… just, I'm here for you.”
“Thank you,” Jisung whispers. “Well, I-I think I've been trying not to think about it too much. It's scary,” he admits.
“I know. You're really brave, you know Jisung? It took me like, months—years even?—before I understood and accepted myself.”
“Yeah, but I'm sure that was years ago, right? Why is this happening to me now? Like… I've always liked girls. I don't think that's… yeah, I definitely still like girls. That's all fine. But I've literally never liked boys until now?” Jisung sighs. “Well—maybe—maybe not. I've been thinking, and like, I guess there were guys that I… really admired and… I really wanted them to like me too. To think I'm cool or funny or something. And like, yeah, I felt nervous around them, but I just kind of thought they were intimidating. But maybe…? Is that..? Were those crushes?”
Felix grabs his hand and squeezes it gently. “Maybe. It kind of sounds like it.” He pauses. “Even if they weren't, and I'm the first guy you like, that's okay too. Honestly, that would be hella flattering,” he smiles. “I don't think sexuality is like... It isn't such a rigid thing. It can be more fluid for some people, you know? It's not just black and white. If your feelings are real then that's all that matters, yeah?”
“Y-Yeah. It's just weird. I'm like so past that stage. Why didn't teenage me figure this out?” He huffs out a laugh.
“There's no set timeline for this stuff. It happens differently for everyone, right? And if you don't want to think about it right now you don't have to. You can just like whoever feels natural for you. No need to think about what box you fit into or anything like that.”
“I think I just like you,” Jisung whispers.
Felix's lips quirk up. “Yeah? That's so cute.”
Jisung is sure his face goes red. “Sh-shut up…”
“Never,” Felix grins. “No, but it's okay. You don't have to label yourself, now or ever. You don't have to be gay, or straight, or bi, or... or anything in between. You can just… be, and that's enough.”
Jisung feels tears prick his eyes. He really has no clue why he's getting emotional over this, but somehow Felix is saying exactly what he didn't know he needed to hear. “Okay, but what about Felixsexual?” He jokes.
“Pfft— then I'm Jisungsexual, okay?”
Jisung's heart feels lighter than it's ever been. He giggles. “Okay.”
After calming down, and both their tears are wiped away, the two of them spend a couple hours just talking and cuddling, making up for what feels like so much lost time. Seriously, why didn't they become closer friends sooner? Jisung mentally kicks himself for not being more proactive in befriending him. They click so well. Jisung is so glad Felix seems to love skinship as much as he does, they both initiate it easily and it just instantly feels natural. So easy, just like everything between them.
Eventually, they move to the living room to watch something. After only just a few minutes of scrolling through Netflix, the front door opens. Jisung looks up.
“Oh, hey Seungmin. How was your study sesh?”
“Hey. Uh, fine. Is this a bad time…?” Seungmin asks, glancing at Felix and looking at Jisung curiously.
“No, it's a great time. Seungmin, say hi to my, uh, boyfriend..?” Jisung falters saying that to someone else for the first time and it comes out like a question.
Seungmin doesn't seem to notice, or if he does, he doesn't care. “Oh, so you worked it out? I'm glad. Congrats.” He turns to Felix. “I'm Seungmin.”
Felix laughs. “Dude, I'm insulted. I thought we were mates? Does being stove partners mean nothing to people these days?”
Seungmin cracks a smile. “I don't know what you're talking about.”
Jisung jumps up in his seat. “Oh yeah! Seungmin, you're taking a freaking cooking class? Who are you??”
Seungmin shrugs. “I had extra space in my schedule.”
Felix sighs. “I wish I had extra space. I would take another class with Jisung.”
“Aww, what?” Jisung looks at him fondly.
“Seriously. Why do we only have one class together? How am I gonna handle that now that we're together?”
Jisung giggles. “If you had extra time wouldn't it be better to just spend time together and not take an extra class, silly?”
“Oh yeah, I guess. Are you sure you'd be okay with that Sungie?” Felix grins and nuzzles his head into Jisung's shoulder, cuddling into him playfully.
Sungie? Oh, Jisung's done for. He giggles again and kicks his feet (like a fucking schoolgirl or something, embarassing). “Only if you promise to binge watch my favorite animes. And make cookies with me!”
Seungmin makes a gagging sound. “...Ugh, I take back everything I said. You two together are more energy than I can reasonably tolerate. Goodbye.” He throws his hand up in a wave and starts walking to his room. He pauses in his doorway and turns around. “Oh and please for the love of god, no funny business when I'm here. I'm happy for you but not that happy.” 
Jisung turns red and he hears Felix choke on air. “Seungmin!” 
“What? You already did stuff and you weren't even dating yet. I can't trust you guys.”
Jisung throws a cushion at him. “Didn't you say bye already? Bye!!”
Seungmin rolls his eyes and throws up a peace sign before turning around and closing his door.
Jisung glances at Felix, who's equally as red-faced. They stare at each other for a few seconds before both breaking out into giggles.
Yeah, Jisung thinks he'll be alright.
[4 weeks later]
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a/n: take a shot every time you see the word 'like' (u will die). if u made it this far THANK U SOOO MUCH FOR READING WOW! this is my first fic so any feedback would be super appreciated! i'd love to hear your thoughts (^o^) idk how active i'll be here but i've been in a writing mood recently so keep an eye out maybe? again tysm for reading!! ♡
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ivesambrose · 1 year
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𝕽𝖊𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 🖤🔪⛓️
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1. 2. 3.
As promised to the ones who were wronged and I mean it, severely wronged not a 'they were mean to me once' neither a 'I was the problem but I'm gonna pretend they're the villian of the story',
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ mention of bullying, abuse etc
"how badly are they gonna get fucked up after this."
To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at [email protected]
♦️ More pick a cards ♦️ Paid Services ♦️
Thank you for the tip 🌿
Picture 1
They were a bully weren't they?
A self righteous hero in their narrative. Someone who simply, "says it like it is." But the intentions are your downfall rather than just an act of care or 'tough love' making you second guess yourself constantly. Perhaps a gaslighter or even physically violent/would threaten you as well perhaps.
Some of you may have felt like you'll never be able to progress and move forward in your life and your plans. Some of you feel like a machine sometimes trying to prove your worth but it's never enough.
I keep hearing, "I wanna go. I wanna go. I don't belong here this isn't my place."
For you, rest assured you'll boldly venture into the unknown and succeed.
They however,
Can say goodbye to peace and balance in their life and their health. Constantly struggling internally to the point it starts showing on their face. I think some of these individuals peaked at a certain point of their lives (you know the ones who peak in highschool and think they run the show) I see them reminiscing how they looked like before or the attention they got before. I see them feeling stuck in one place and not being able to make progress. If this is someone who would bully you for your physical looks they'll have a severe glow down. If this is someone who cheated on you then they get a taste of their own medicine but worse. In some cases I'm seeing even more severe loss and maybe even trying to make amends with you because suddenly you're more successful or better off without them. I honestly see a lot of regret on their part but some of them may not have the guts to admit the same.
Picture 2
This may have either been a liar or straight up emotionally abusive and controlling. I do sense some of them have been physically or sexually abusive as well. The image I'm getting is someone treating you like their puppet or thinking they have a right over you.
Some of you may have felt or believed that you can't do better than this neither deserve better than this. They made your question your very worth and reality and you often took pity or emphatized and continued to forgive and go back to them.
I'm also seeing for some, that this could be someone who keeps you around for their convinience like you're their emotional crutch.
For you, there are is a light at the end of the tunnel you've walked out of.
For them,
Literal unseen disruptions that shake the very core of their ego, stability and power. Maybe even their career declining to nothing. Legal troubles as well and finding out that those they have trusted or considered their friends don't really care about them either. For someone so selfish and constantly stuck in their narcissistic victim mindset this would be a heavy blow and all I see them doing is throw a child like tantrum.
Picture 3
I believe you attract jealousy, envy, stalkers and maybe even people who need to match the effort you put for them but find an excuse to slack.
I believe that you are aware of your power, this awareness has come after years of being shunned, talked down on and made fun of.
You may have a list of people adding up (it's giving Kill Bill) who have literally just put you down, taken you for granted, betrayed you and it's all piled up almost because I do see a lot of you are rather forgiving or try to understand the other person.
Oftentimes you can care less because you know if someone does you wrong in any shape or form and it's unwarranted then may God help them.
I don't feel you actively seek vengeance.
You seem like a creative soul, perhaps you channel your pain into art or other things that can benefit you or others. But scars in your heart remain.
For you, I see recognition, fun and good money/stability in life.
For those who have wronged you or wish you harm,
Anxiety, the kind that feels like they are in the middle of a circus show and someone asked them to do the sword swallowing trick at gunpoint. Financial loss, having people backstab them or abandon them.
On a more personal note I see that you get the last laugh in this situation.
Few of you could also be witches? A handful of you I'm seeing. So your words could literally be hexes.
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tyran-the-tyranical · 3 months
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That one line from Raphael's Second Diary will never cease to get me 🥺 LIKE MIGHT I ADD- these are his private thoughts, separate from his manipulation attempts and so he, with his full chest, admits so much in his second diary, like when he says "never have I been so attracted to mortals as I am to those infested by the tadpole." AHH, (my delusions are so real, trust)
BUT WHEN HE SAYS "They gestured to the melting hooks, suddenly glanced my way, and in their face I saw they had the best of me." look, I get the subtext behind all these quotes, but a girl can just ignore all that media literacy and take it for face value, OK? 💅 but also reading into it, he does admire Tav to a certain extent, and I have to wonder, why? Tav isn't an origin character and Tav's actions and character basically changes with every playthrough (Same with Durge, as they can change too) So I have to wonder if it's because Tav is controlled by the player, since, Raphael does end up breaking the fourth wall in his epilogue speech, so perhaps that's what he sees.
Another way to look at it is, either way, no matter what the playthrough, he sees something in Tav, something that makes them stand out much brighter than their companions (For some reason???)
To further that statement, what is the best of Raphael? I mean, if its an evil playthrough, that would be obvious, but if you're playing a good playthrough, what then? perhaps what he sees is someone he can finally use to get the crown, that's also very likely. Still though that's a very to the point (IMO) not as interesting of a reading since it's literally just his end goal for us, BUT STILL A VALID ONE, because, it is true, that's what he wants from us the most.
Also his third diary where he just straight up admits that he's being so honest with us so he can manipulate us, love that for him, "I am master here. A prince of bargains cloaked like scarlet satin. All that hidden under sublimely obvious truths that cannot be discounted." Which also makes me wonder, is Raphael actually an honest person? I mean, Korilla thinks he's at least decent, but honest? outside of helping us, if we look at Yurgir, he really fucked him over lol. Obviously, Raphael isn't what he seems, even if he's honest with us, to what extent? he says it himself, he's honest about "...sublimely obvious truths..." but what about when he says he's grown quite fond of us in his own way, HMMMM?
I wish this man got a proper story arc in the game, outside of the whole deal for the hammer and House of Hope, that's all plot related for the hammer, but a storyline about Raphael as a character? I mean yea, maybe that would whisk away some of his mystery, his intrigue, but I'm sorry- you cant just end it with him fucking himself (poorly) and trying to break Hope (making her a metaphorical symbol of hope anyway, I think....) AND LEAVE IT THERE?!?!? at the same time, I do like the ambiguity of his character, you could think of him as a cruel bastard after seeing what he's done in the House Of Hope to his debtors and Hope herself or perhaps just a Pathetic lil guy who's shit in bed lol, or maybe even soft, if you go off Korillas words and what he does for us in game he can come across as quite nice, especially after we've interacted with Mizora who's is the only other Cambion example we can go off of.
I also just think it's interesting that he sees anything in Tav/Durge at all. Ofc he says he sees the best of him (Always gotta relate back to himself lol) but that especially a mortal is what he could see himself, the best of himself, but then again he does see potential and ambition as admirable (?) or just something he appreciates, you can see that with Mol and Gortash to some extent anyway, But what ambitions does Tav have outside of just trying to survive? Like, the obvious answer is he wants us to give him the crown and we're the underdog in the story but then why does he refer to Tav so differently then? I fear this has turned into another rant again, lol.
Just a final thought here, but, if he did ever get a story arc, similar to the companions, would they give you multiple directions to take his character? i mean with Shadowheart for example, you could help her break from shar or have her fully convert into shars chosen, but even then, if you free her from shar theres the point of saving her family or freeing her from Shars (curse?) there's multiple ways for her story to end. Though, Raphael isnt a companion, so would he have something similar to idk a minor companion like Halsin or Minthara, who don't really have that much of a diversion (I think) in their endings, they don't really have the option, only really if the player decides to be evil or not, they kinda just follow them either way, it doesn't really impact their own stories. Obviously, I would prefer something with nuance but also, HE ISN'T A COMPANION 😭 and pressingly some of the companions need more work done than he does atm lol. Maybe that's me just projecting lol, once again, me wanting to have my cake and eat it too, anyway, that's me done... for now lol
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nicoline1998enilocin · 2 months
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Reveal
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PAIRING || Boyfriend!Young!Tony Stark x Girlfriend!Pregnant!Fem!Reader & College Student!Natasha Romanoff x College Student!Bruce Banner
WORDCOUNT || 5.6K
SUMMARY || Your life is turned completely upside down when you discover you're pregnant despite not even being together with your boyfriend for a year. Despite this, everyone in your direct circle of friends and family is nothing short of happy for you both, and you're very fortunate to have such a strong support system around you during this time in your life.
RATING || Explicit (E)
TAGS || No powers AU. College AU. Pregnancy AU. Future Dad!Tony Stark. Established relationship. Use of nicknames. No use of Y/N.
WARNINGS || Pregnancy. Positive pregnancy test. Pregnancy reveal. Sonogram. Finding out the gender/gender reveal. Swearing.
SMUT || Pregnancy kink. Lactation kink. Daddy kink. Dirty talk. Praise. Teasing. Nipple/breast play. Grinding. Oral (M receiving). Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!). Multiple orgasms. Cum swallowing. Creampie. Aftercare.
A/N || This one-shot takes place during the events of 'A Small Miracle' and will give a small sneak peek into the spin-off of this AU, called 'Fifty Shades of Brutasha'! This story is proofread by the amazing @ccbsrmsf1, and I cannot thank you enough! 💙
A/N 2.0 || This is my last fic for the next week or two, as I'll take a short writing break! I can't wait to come back after my break with more stories for you all, but for now I won't be posting anything for the foreseeable future. Thank you all for your understanding and support!
EVENTS Masterlist || @fandom-free-bingo Wild || Free Space Masterlist || @multifandom-flash Compliments || I'll Take That as a Compliment
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Photo: Source || All graphics are made by @nicoline1998enilocin
Main Masterlist || Tony Stark Masterlist || AU Masterlist
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"My Love? Can I talk to you for a moment?" you ask as you're seated on the large bed in his dorm. Tony has been working behind his desk while you were reading, and you've been mulling something over. You have to talk to someone about it. Thank God the person you trust more than anyone is in the room with you.
"Of course, Sunshine. What's on your mind?" he asks as he turns around and wheels his desk chair towards the bed. He gives you a reassuring smile, but it quickly falls when the following words come out of your mouth.
"What would you do if I get pregnant?" you ask him with a straight face, and you have never seen someone's expression change that fast. He goes from confused to concerned in about 10 seconds, and before you know it, he's on the bed with his hands on your belly.
"A-are you-" he asks, his thumbs running softly over the flesh of your stomach. His gaze is locked on yours as he looks at you with furrowed brows.
"I-I'm not sure, actually. I might be..." you say as your voice trails off near the end of the sentence.
"Is there anything that has you entertaining the idea of you being pregnant?" Tony then asks with an undying love in his voice, and you show him a small smile before casting your line of sight down to where his hands are on your belly.
"Yeah," you whisper, your hands finding their place beside his.
"If you are pregnant, I would welcome them with open arms. I know that our situation is far from ideal right now to have a baby, but if you are, I will do anything in my power to ensure they have all the care and love from us they could have," Tony tells you, and you can't help but tear up a little at his words.
"I think we should do a test before we do anything else," you offer up, and Tony chuckles because he knows you're right. He tends to go overboard when he's excited, so you definitely need to pull the brakes a bit.
"Yes, you're right, sorry," Tony says as he lets out a nervous chuckle, his hands running through his hair as he thinks about possibly becoming a Dad.
Almost an hour has passed since you first mentioned the possibility of being pregnant, and you're standing in the bathroom with your boyfriend's arms wrapped around you tightly, holding you close as you both wait for the timer to go off. Your heart feels like it will burst out of your chest as time passes, your nerves making you tremble in your boyfriend's hold.
"It's going to be okay, Sunshine. No matter the outcome, we'll be okay," Tony whispers in your hair. Now that there's a genuine possibility that you might be pregnant, he is secretly hoping for it to be true. Timing may not be on your side, but he doesn't care. He knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, which also fits into that picture.
You get startled as the timer goes off, and Tony quickly releases you so you can pick up the test. It's lying upside down so you can both find out simultaneously, and there it is: the result of your test is loud and clear.
You're pregnant.
"I- I can't believe- I'm pregnant, Tony! We're having a baby!" you say excitedly as tears run down your cheeks and a burst of nervous laughter bubbles up in your throat. Tony can't help but shed tears as well, as he will have a family with the woman he loves - you.
"We're going to have a baby, Sunshine! A baby! I can't believe it, oh my god!" he says as he holds your face in his hands, and his lips crash on yours instantly to celebrate the test's positive result.
"I love you, Tony, oh my god, I love you so fucking much," you say between your happy tears and hiccups that keep interrupting you, but the main feeling you have is pure joy. You never thought you'd become a Mom at this age - you at least thought you would have finished college first -but now that it's happening, it's like you're on cloud nine with your boyfriend and your baby.
"I love you so much, Sunshine, God I'm so fucking lucky. I'm the luckiest man on earth!" he says as he falls on his knees and lifts your shirt until your belly is exposed, and he peppers it with soft kisses.
"And I love you too, little Munchkin; I cannot wait to meet you," he whispers between tears, your stomach wet from them, but you don't care. You're enjoying that you're pregnant now and growing a tiny human inside you.
"I love you both so much," Tony says before kissing your belly and getting back up. As the initial shock dies down a little, you can start thinking straight, and the situation begins to sink in. Tony gently cups your cheeks again, his thumbs softly rubbing over the tear tracks on your cheeks.
He leans in to give you a soft, small kiss that instantly makes you want more, but he doesn't give it to you yet. Instead, he smiles as he looks into your eyes while you look up at him, his eyes glimmering with hope.
"Let's make love together, Sunshine; I want to celebrate our baby by doing nothing but making soft, slow, and sweet love to you for the foreseeable future," Tony whispers as he nudges your nose with his, and your breath hitches in your throat at his words. You nod, and he allows his hand to drop to interlace it with yours.
Tony takes a seat on the edge of the bed before pulling you to stand between his spread thighs, his hands softly rubbing over the bare skin under the length of the dress you're wearing. Your hands are lying on his shoulders as he leans forward to softly press his face into the flesh of your stomach with a big smile.
"We're going to have a baby together, Sunshine. Can you imagine it? I can't help but hope they look like you," he says as he looks up at you, his dark brown eyes glimmering with excitement.
"That will be a problem then, My Love. I hope they will look exactly like you. I wouldn't mind having a mini version of you running around," you tell him, your smile not moving even an inch.
"Maybe they will look like both of us," he says, and you nod.
"I would like it if our baby looks like both of us," you agree with your boyfriend. His hands move in such a way that he can pull you onto his lap instead of having you standing between his legs, and he immediately captures your lips with a deep, passionate kiss that has you grinding on his lap, where you can feel that he's getting hard already.
"Tony," you whimper when the fabric of your panties gives you just the right amount of friction, especially combined with the way his erection presses against your sensitive flesh. Your high is quickly building as he keeps working you over his clothed member.
"Cum for me, Sunshine, fuck! So gorgeous when you cum for me," he spurs you on and praises you, which ultimately pushes you over the edge. With trembling legs and feverish kisses, Tony carefully works you through it until you're back on earth again.
"You did so well for me, Sunshine, such a good girl for me," he whispers as he peppers your cheek and jaw in small kisses. Then, he finds your earlobe and nibbles on it to earn himself the cutest of moans from your lips.
He keeps this up for another few minutes before he takes the zip pull on the back of your dress and lets it glide down to expose your back to the room. A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips as he pushes the shoulders of your dress down your arms, only to be greeted by the fact that you're not wearing a bra.
He gasps softly when your breasts bounce in front of him, and it's now that he's noticing the fact that they have gotten bigger, although you haven't been pregnant for very long yet. It only makes him wonder what else you've been hiding from him now.
"God, they will be so beautiful when they're full of milk, just dripping when they're too heavy to keep it all in. Are you gonna let me drink from them, Sunshine? I want to taste your sweet, amazing milk so badly," he almost whines, shivering down your spine.
"Yes, fuck yes! Want you to drink from me, Daddy," you whine as he takes one of your sensitive nipples into your mouth, his fingers kneading the other breast with careful squeezes, making you squirm on his lap. His cock twitched when you called him Daddy, and he couldn't help but smile as well.
"Call me it again, Sunshine," he almost growls after letting go of your nipple, ready to give the same amount of attention to the other one.
"D-Daddy," you say, biting your bottom lip when you see Tony's reaction. It's enough to almost send him headfirst into his orgasm, but he manages to keep himself together just enough to not cum.
"Love it when you call me that, especially now that I'm going to be a Daddy," he says in a breathy voice, leaning up to capture your lips with his once more. Tony's hands wander from your breasts to your sides and then down to your hips, only to catch you off guard when he's turned you around, and you're suddenly looking up at him while your back hits the mattress.
"That's it, you want to be Daddy's good girl, don't you?" he asks, his voice seemingly dropping a bit when he calls himself Daddy.
"Yes," you tell him, and not even seconds later, your dress has been pushed up to reveal the fact that you're wearing nothing but a pair of tiny, flimsy panties that are ripped off your body without any effort whatsoever. His shirt also finds its place on the floor, and you can't help but ogle your boyfriend's delicious body with your bottom lip pulled between your teeth.
"It's almost like you wanted me to rip them off you, Sunshine," Tony tuts before opening the button of his pants and pulling down the zipper, pushing them down and off his legs until he's completely bare. His cock is standing at attention between his thighs, and the veins adorning it have you drooling in no time.
"You like what you see, don't you? My little cockhungry slut," he says in an endearing tone, brow quirked and a smirk on his lips. You can never have enough of him and his cock, and you both know it. He decides to keep the teasing to a minimum this time, instead opting to slide in immediately with lots of moans and groans from you both.
Tony lines up with your entrance, his round, flushed tip sliding into your slick, dripping entrance without a single bit of hesitation. Your warmth and tightness welcome him in as you envelop him, your body moving up and down in time with his thrusts.
"So beautiful, Sunshine. I can't wait until your belly is round and showing with my baby. You're going to be the most beautiful mama I've ever seen," Tony tells you. Your back arches into him, your nails digging into his biceps as he works more of his length in. Together with the words he tells you, you're nearing the edge faster than you ever thought possible.
"Tu sei il mio sole," he whispers as he bottoms out, and your gaze is immediately locked onto his. This is the first time you've ever heard him say anything in Italian—you know he was brought up bilingual because Maria is from Italy—but it only strengthens your love for Tony.
"I love you, Tony," you say before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a soft kiss. Tony sets a slow, leisurely pace that has him hitting your sweet spot each time, and your eyes roll into the back of your head every time he speeds up a little.
"I feel you squeezin' me, Sunshine; you're close, aren't you?" he asks, and you nod. You don't need much to fall over the edge, and without saying another word, he brings his thumb to your clit to rub small circles, making you clench around his cock as your orgasm washes over you with a loud moan of his name.
"That's it, fucking milk me! 'M gonna cum so fucking hard for you, Sunshine, 'm gonna fill you up with every last drop of my cum. If you weren't already pregnant, I would fuck you every single day until you were, oh my god. Feels so good when you milk my cock-" he says, suddenly cut off when you land a smack on his ass that catches him off-guard but also sends him headfirst over the edge.
He keeps rutting into you in short, uncontrolled strokes as he rides out his orgasm, all while still being mindful of you, and when he's nearing overstimulation, he pulls out with a groan. As he lets himself fall next to you on the bed, he pulls you to his side, his hand rubbing soothing circles over your exposed back.
"I love you so much, my beautiful Sunshine. 'M forever lucky to be calling you my girlfriend, and now my baby mama too," he says with a big smile, and you can't help but smile up at him as well.
"We're both lucky, My Love, and I can't wait to meet our baby when it's finally time," you tell him. Once you're both strong enough to stand, he pulls you into his shower, where he takes extra care of you, from washing your hair to lathering your favorite soap all over your body; he does it all for you.
While your conditioner is doing its thing, Tony stands behind you and places his hands on your belly. His thumbs rub up and down as he does, and you can't stop smiling.
"What do you hope it'll be? A boy or a girl?" Tony asks, and you shrug.
"Both are okay with me; I know I will love the little Munchkin no matter what," you tell him, and he nods in agreement.
"Though I have already thought of some names, I just never thought we'd get to use them so quickly," you say with a chuckle, and Tony turns you around.
"What are they?" he asks as he cups your cheeks, and you look up at him with an excited reflection in your eyes.
"I'm thinking if it's a boy, we can call him Hudson, and if it's a girl, I love the name Orion," you say softly, and Tony smiles widely at the names.
"Hudson and Orion, hm? I think they're both perfect," he tells you before leaning in and kissing you softly. Your hands are on his waist as you enjoy the moment—just you, your boyfriend, and your baby—nothing more and nothing less.
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"How're you feeling, Sunshine? Nervous?" Tony asks as you're seated on his lap, his arms wrapped around you protectively. His hair is still wet from the shower he just took, and he's wearing comfortable clothes while you're wearing one of his football jerseys, which is practically a dress on you.
"Yeah, but I think I'll be fine. She's at work, and she knows we'll call, so I have faith that it'll be okay," you say to Tony, who nods. Your parents aren't in a good place now, so you have decided together with her that you will call her while she's at work.
"I know we'll be okay. She will love the news about our little Munchkins," Tony reassures you, and you nod as you think about the two babies growing in your belly. It has been a few weeks since you found out you're pregnant, and you have gotten the fantastic news that you're carrying twins, which makes you even more excited now.
A few minutes later, you get a text from your Mom saying she's ready for the call—she had an appointment with a client first. You quickly press call on FaceTime, and before you know it, a giant smile greets you and Tony, together with your Mom's soothing voice.
"Hi Buttercup, hi Tony! How are you guys doing over there?" she asks, and you both tell her everything's okay, but you have some big news to share with her.
"Mom, you're going to be a grandma in about 7,5 months," you tell her shyly, a deep red blush on your cheeks as you feel Tony hold onto your belly. It's silent on the other side for a few seconds as the news sinks in with Virginia.
"I- I- I'm going to be a grandma? Are you pregnant? I'm so happy for you two! I can't believe I'm going to be a grandma!" she says excitedly, wiping tears from her cheeks. They're happy tears, but you can't help but tear up.
"Oh my God, Buttercup, I'm so happy for you; I know you've always dreamt of becoming a Mom! Have you been to the OBGYN already, or do you have your appointment soon?" she asks, always being practical.
"Yeah, that's the best news still. We're having twins!" you tell her, and she completely loses it and sobs on the other end of the line, all while you are crying right along with her.
"We haven't found out about the gender of the babies yet, but I have to say, it was quite a surprise to find out she's pregnant, to begin with, but to get two at once is even more unbelievable! It still feels like I'm living in a fairytale if you ask me," Tony says, and Virginia nods, unable to say anything now.
"I love you both so much, you know that? And I am so happy to hear you're pregnant, Buttercup," Virginia says after you have talked a bit more about your pregnancy and visiting her soon as well.
"I love you too, Mom. I can't wait to see you again soon," you say before she has to go and get ready for another appointment with a client. Running her law firm comes with its fair share of things to do, and she loves it with all her heart, but she's also glad she made time for you.
With a last goodbye, you hang up and put your phone on the desk before curling into your boyfriend's hold. Your knees are pulled up to your chest, and his long arms are wrapped around you protectively.
"I'm so happy she knows, and I'm also glad she's the first one we told. She's missing out on so much now that I moved to the other side of the country, and sometimes I feel bad for not calling more often," you tell Tony, who nods in understanding.
"I get how you feel, Sunshine, but you're already calling as often as possible. But the good thing is that we'll be visiting her soon so we can look forward to that," he tells you, and you know he's right. You give him a soft peck on his lips before getting off his lap and grabbing yourself a snack as you're getting hungry again.
"Do you want a snack too, My Love?" you ask, but Tony chuckles mischievously.
"The only snack I want is standing right here and wearing nothing more than a football jersey," he says with a wiggle of his brows.
"Alright, but I will have to eat something first. After that, you can feast on my pussy as long as you'd like," you tell him with a smile and Tony's more than content with that compromise. For now.
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You're about 18 weeks pregnant, lying on the treatment bench with your now very much pregnant belly exposed and your boyfriend by your side as he holds your hand. Your gazes are fixed on the small screen, on which you can see both your babies and the sounds of their hearts beating, echoing through the room.
"Everything looks good in there. They are the size they're supposed to be, and they're both developing well, so all that's left now is to find out their gender. Do you two want to know, or do you want it to be a surprise?" the sonographer asks, but you already know the answer.
"We want to know today," you tell her with a large smile. Then you look over at Tony, who's starting to get a little antsy as he looks at the screen.
"You are having—" she stops for a moment to confirm her suspicions—fraternal twins! This means you will have one of each! Congratulations, you two! I'll take some photos for you to take home, and after that, you're free to go!" She says, but you don't hear anything after 'fraternal twins.'
Tony has gotten up and cupped your cheeks before kissing you fiercely through the tears streaming down his cheeks. His world is complete now that he knows he will have both a boy and a girl, which is more than he could have ever expected. They might not have been planned, but they're already incredibly loved by you both.
"Now we can use both the names you love so much Sunshine. We can name them Hudson and Orion Stark," he says, and you nod. Their names go together perfectly, and now your babies officially have their names. Tony eventually lets you go, but only because he has to - if it were up to him, he would have held you for the rest of the day.
Not long after your appointment, you're on your way back to Tony's dorm room, where you spend most of your time nowadays. While Tony drives you two back, you invite Natasha, Wanda, Bruce, and Clint out for dinner tonight, and they all happily agree.
"I'm excited to tell them, Sunshine. Now we can finally tell everyone about our babies without having to hide anymore," he says as his hand caresses your thigh, and you sigh in relief.
"Me too," you say as you look at Tony with fondness in your eyes, a smile dancing on your lips.
"I love you so much, Tony. I'm thrilled to be going through all this with you," you tell him, and he smiles back at you.
"Me too, Sunshine, me too."
Once you arrive at Tony's dorm, you're both getting ready for dinner with your friends and already have the perfect dress to wear tonight. You grab a light blue dress that is wide enough to hide your growing belly, which is ideal for tonight.
Tony opts for dark jeans and a pink shirt, making the combination you two are wearing perfect for your little reveal in the restaurant. As you're putting your hair up in a simple ponytail, you look at Tony, who's getting ready beside you, and a burst of butterflies goes through your stomach as you take in his appearance.
"You're beautiful, My Love," you tell him out of nowhere. The color on his cheeks suddenly turns from a beautiful cream to bright red at your words, as he's not used to being complimented despite you constantly doing it.
"Not as beautiful as you, though. You're carrying our babies, which makes you infinitely more beautiful than I could ever be," he tells you, making you smile wide with his words. A warm feeling spreads through your body as he kisses you.
"I love you, Sunshine," he whispers against your lips before giving a few more pecks, leaving you feeling more loved. As you pull away, you notice the time, and if you two don't hurry, you'll be late, which you don't want.
Suddenly, the way to the restaurant seems to fly by in a blur. You both take an Uber to the restaurant and when you're only a few minutes away, the others let you know they're already there. They have gotten a table, so they will be there once you two arrive.
"I can't wait to finally tell them the good news. I couldn't hide it much longer anyway, but now I'm glad we can finally show everyone about our love," you tell Tony as you're rubbing your belly lovingly. Every chance you and your boyfriend get, you either rub or touch it, especially when one or both are kicking in there.
"Give me your hand, My Love," you say, and Tony does. He gasps softly as he feels one of your babies kick, and neither of you can stop smiling until you're at the restaurant.
As soon as you're both inside, all four of your friends greet both of you with many hugs, and it's always fun to get together. Even though you're just drinking water, the drinks are flowing plenty, and the food is delicious while the conversation continues. That is until it's finally time for dessert, and you look at Tony for strength and reassurance.
"Can I have everyone's attention for a moment?" you ask Nat, Bruce, Clint, and Wanda, and suddenly everyone's gaze is focused on you.
"Tony and I have some wonderful news to share with you all, which is why we brought you here today. As of today, we have found out we're having fraternal twins because I'm pregnant!" you say excitedly, and Nat and Wanda immediately hang around your neck to hug you.
"Congratulations, man! I always knew you'd be the first to knock someone up," Clint jokes as he pulls in Tony for a hug.
"I'll take that as a compliment, Barton," Tony jokes before letting him go and being congratulated by his oldest friend, Bruce.
"We're all very happy for you both. You both deserve it," Bruce says, and Tony thanks him profusely. It doesn't take long for everyone to congratulate the two of you, and before you sit down, you can't resist showing off your belly to everyone.
"It's a miracle I've been able to hide it from all of you this time because I feel huge!" you say jokingly as you show off your belly, and Tony comes to stand beside you, pulling you into his side. He places a kiss on your temple before giving everyone a proud look. The happiness is practically dripping off you both, and the fact that everyone is happy about the news is the cherry on top.
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A week has passed since you told your friends about your pregnancy. Yesterday, you both told Howard and Maria the good news, and they were absolutely over the moon about their two grandbabies. Many tears were shed during that afternoon between all four of you, and they were nothing short of supportive when you both told them.
Today, everyone's invited to have a little party/get-together at their house, and while you and Tony have a shower, Howard and Maria are decorating their garden for what will soon be your baby shower.
"That's it, Sunshine, takin' me so well in that beautiful mouth," Tony groans as he grabs your hair in a sloppy ponytail, the water falling on you both as you're on your knees for your boyfriend. Your hand is wrapped around the base of his cock as you work him up and down, and your lips are wrapped around his sensitive tip.
"O-oh God, I'm close! Fuck-" is all he can say before you take more of him into your mouth, the salty taste of his cum coating your tongue before you swallow every last drop of it with a hum, your eyes closed as he works himself through his orgasm.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you, Sunshine, but I'm glad I did," he says as he helps you up, being mindful of your pregnant state. Once you're up and steady on your feet, he captures your lips with his, and you never want this moment to end.
"You deserve everything life has to offer and more, My Love," you tell him, and he smiles before capturing your lips again. Once you're both done in the shower, you braid your hair into a simple Dutch braid to keep it out of the way. You decide on a short green dress for today, as you will just be having a party with Howard, Maria, and your friends, so you opt to keep it simple.
Tony has decided on dark jeans and a green shirt to match your dress, and you two look stunning together.
"Ready? I think the rest is here already," Tony asks, and you nod. He grabs your hand before leading you down the stairs and into the garden, where you can see everything being decorated with blue and pink decorations, and you can't help but laugh.
"I thought we were keeping it simple today!" you say to Maria, but she chuckles. She enjoys going all out for everything, and the celebration of her grandchildren is something she takes seriously. She has been prepping food for everyone - including a few snacks to accommodate your current cravings - and there are presents as well, and your friends will bring more later on.
"But this is simple, amore mio!" she states with her hands on her sides, and Howard looks at his wife with a raised brow before shaking his head in disbelief. He walks over to his wife before wrapping his hands around her and kissing her softly.
"I love you very much, amore mio dolce, but this isn't simple, and you know it," he says. Maria starts to glow as he calls her 'my sweet love,' and it makes you smile. You wish you and your boyfriend will one day share the same type of love as them, and just when you're about to say something, he stands behind you. His arms wrap around you to place his hands on your belly again, and you smile before leaning into his touch.
"Let's just enjoy today, Sunshine. You can sit down and let everything happen to you, as it's all about you and our babies," he whispers before kissing your temple, and you agree. The weather is beautiful, and the sun is shining bright, so you pick the comfiest chair in the garden to make your place for the afternoon.
Tony helps Howard set up some more while Maria goes inside to prepare the last things for the food; when everyone arrives, she lets them all in.
"Thank you for hosting the party today, Mrs. Stark," Bruce says as Maria shows them the way to the garden. She smiles broadly in response before saying there's no need to thank her, and they can all sit down.
It only takes a little while for everyone to have a drink as they sit and munch on the snacks. Clint and Tony are the only ones brave enough to try some of your weirdest cravings, which range from pickles smothered in hot sauce to hard-boiled eggs with Nutella, and it earns loud laughs from everyone as they find out they do not like it, even a little bit.
"Good, that means there's more for me!" you say. Not long after, you and Tony are opening presents, and they range from lots of baby clothes in blue and pink to matching onesies and stuffed animals. You will have enough to last both of them at least a few weeks after they're born.
"Thank you all so much for everything; your support means a lot to us," Tony says after opening every present, and you agree wholeheartedly. The rest of the afternoon is spent laughing, eating, and generally having fun, and it is an afternoon always to remember. You have everyone close to you with you, and this day couldn't be more perfect if you tried.
Meanwhile, behind the shed in Howard and Maria's garden...
While everyone is enjoying themselves, Natasha has pulled Bruce to the side because something has been on her mind for a while, and she can't hide it any longer. They're standing behind a large shed in Howard and Maria's garden, where they can have some privacy.
Bruce is standing with his back towards the shed while Natasha is pacing back and forth, and his gaze follows her with every step.
"Mylaya, can you please stop pacing back and forth for a moment?" Bruce asks Natasha, and she stops dead in her tracks. This was the first time she'd ever heard him speak Russian, but her cheeks flushed at the nickname he gave her: Sweetie.
"What's on your mind? You seem a bit... off," Bruce asks after pulling her close, and she casts her eyes down. He lifts his finger to her chin before meeting her gaze and smiles reassuringly.
"I'm sorry, Bruce. I- I don't know how-" is all she says before he leans in and carefully captures her lips with his. The feeling of her soft, pink lips has the butterflies in his stomach go crazy, and Natasha wraps her arms around his neck to pull him closer until they're standing chest-to-chest.
"I'm in love with you too," he whispers, their foreheads touching. He has known this for a while, and her reaction to calling him Sweetie cemented it for him. She has feelings for him as well, and Bruce couldn't be happier about it.
He tucks a piece of Natasha's flaming red hair behind her ear, and he can't stop looking at her flushed cheeks and pink lips before meeting her green eyes again. The moment it all sinks in is when she meets his lips for a kiss this time, and they're glad they have finally told each other how they feel.
This will officially start something new for them, but they're both very excited to see where it goes. As long as they have one another, they know everything will be okay, and they can get through everything life throws their way.
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Text
Last time —Joao Felix
warning: +18. break up, angst, smut, cheating.
worlds: +1.8k.
#sexynote: English is not my first language so there may be errors.
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London, England.
Here you were. Devastated as you held the tears in your eyes, trying to deny it.
You couldn't accept it. You didn't want to accept it.
Your heart was broken into a thousand pieces as your mind replayed those images over and over again in your mind.
Joao was cheating on you.
The person you trusted and loved the most was having an affair with another woman.
How could he do this to you? After everything you had been through together? After promising you his undying love and protection? Was this how he was protecting you?
Thoughts flooded your mind as time went by and you still couldn't believe it. Were you so worthless to Joao? Were you so unimportant to him? Because he didn't seem to care about you at all.
Your heart didn't stop aching since you read those messages, since you followed him to that motel, since you saw him enter with that woman. A beautiful young woman who looked like a model, blonde hair and slender body, sweet laugh and perfect face.
Why? why you? why him?
Your head was spinning trying to figure out what was wrong with them. You wanted to be able to get angry, throw his things and walk away from him, but your body refused.
You loved him so much. Like you had never loved anyone before.
Your love for Joao was too much, you couldn't just stop loving him from one moment to the next. Not after having been together for almost four years, supporting and loving each other.
"Hello sweetheart," Joao entered the room, seeing you at your dressing table, brushing your straight hair.
He reached out to you, taking you by the shoulders. Stroking you a little, massaging your skin as he gave you a smile through the mirror.
Tears gathered in your eyes, burning to come out. But you held on.
"I'm sorry, the training took longer than I thought" he kissed your neck. Your whole body trembled.
A lie. He was lying and you knew it perfectly well.
You knew that his hands had touched another body, that his lips had kissed someone else, that his body had felt someone else. Yet, why did you still feel that way? As safe and protected as the first time he touched you or kissed you.
As if nothing had happened.
"You won't say anything?" he asked, lowering his kisses.
"I have nothing to say, Joao" it came out of your mouth, so slowly that even he didn't hear it.
His hands reached your chest, caressing over your fine silk nightgown, pulling the thin straps open until your shoulders were bare.
Your boyfriend's lips clung to your flesh, tugging and licking at it. Your tears couldn't hold back and began to fall, thinking of Joao and his other woman.
Joao noticed your tense body, your lack of emotion and thought that maybe you had had a bad day or were tired. So he would take care of you himself.
He took your hand, stopping you from your place, to pull you closer to him, pressing your body against his, taking you by the waist.
He searched your gaze, lifting your chin a little, meeting your deep, tear-filled eyes.
"Baby" he worried. "Are you all right?"
You nodded slowly.
"Why are you crying, did something happen?" he insisted.
"Because I love you," you whispered in pain.
Joao smiled, cupping your cheek against his palm, wiping away the tear.
"And so do I, honey. I love you so much"
You forced yourself to believe in him, stopped your useless heart, enjoying his voice, his touch, his words for the last time.
The last time. It echoed in your head.
Allow yourself for one last time to love him as you always have. Allow yourself to finish breaking your heart and then walk away. Hopefully, you will forget and heal. You will.
"I love you" you repeated again. His eyes connected to yours, his smile widened and his hands took yours.
His lips touched yours and even though you felt disgust, you had to enjoy it.
It was like the last puff of a cigarette or the last bite of a delicious meal. You knew it was wrong, but still, it couldn't help but feel delicious, tasty and addictive.
Your body lay on the white sheets, Joao between your legs taking care of your breasts, taking the tops of them in his mouth, abusing your aching nipples.
A slight touch between you and you were both moaning, feeling your heats throbbing even without touching each other.
Joao grabbed the side of your panties and pulled them all the way down, now admiring your naked body hungrily. He left a wet trail of kisses along your belly and hips, biting a little to mark with that reddish color he loves so much on your skin.
You grabbed him by his neck, lifting him to you so he could get close to your face. In an instant, your tongues were again touching and your hands were pulling down the only fabric covering Joao.
The sooner this was over, the more time you would have to heal. So you were eager to feel him one last time.
His lined up at your wet entrance, touching your center a little before, playing with his fingers, pushing them in a little and then pulling them out, dragging them down to your clit.
Your moans became louder and louder and the pleasure more intense.
Once he slowly went in, after a gasp from Joao, he brought his mouth close to yours again.
His thrusts hard and precise, hitting just where you needed them, making you arch your back with each stroke. His ruined moans silenced by his kisses.
You thought only of pleasure. You only enjoyed the moment. Nothing made sense anymore. Your life without Joao was nothing.
Why? echoed in your head again.
Didn't you love him enough that he needed love from someone else? Were you so bad in bed that he had to look for another pleasure? Were you so boring that he had to resort to another kind of fun? Was his love for you over?
And once again, your tears filled your eyes. Those tears that had once been tears of pleasure or laughter of amusement, today, they were tears of pain.
Tears of a broken heart. Tears of a goodbye.
Tears of one last time.
Joao's lips in your ear as he said dirty things, made you regain your sanity. Invading you again with pleasure.
His strokes were erratic and unattractive, both your bodies sweaty and trembling, your breasts together rubbing. A pressure in your lower belly built up at the same time as Joao began to go faster, making him squeal.
At the same moment you bottomed out, tears began to flow loudly. The sobs and moans mingled, tears streaming down your face as you felt the over stimulation.
You grabbed him by the nape of his neck, fitting his lips, feeling the wetness of your tears and his mouth joining. His lips that you loved so much to be kissed, to be bitten, to be caressed. They had kissed someone else's lips, that idea made your chest ache, cutting off your air.
Joao lowered his intensity, now stopping completely, to leave your body. Lying down next to you, one hand still on your body, regulating his breathing.
You couldn't even look him in the face, not without completely falling apart.
You rolled over and sat on the bed, grabbing your clothes, wiping off some of his footprints, then quickly put them on.
"What are you doing?" asked Joao, surprised to see you covering yourself with your clothes.
You refused to leave him. But you couldn't stay. Not if you loved yourself.
Jack sat on the bed, confused, trying to get your attention.
A puff of air filled your lungs, slowly rolling over you, until you were looking at him face to face.
For the first time, Joao saw that pain in your dark eyes of betrayal and the sharp pain in your heart. The tears adorning your cheeks and neck as you watched him with an expression of disappointment.
Then, he knew. He knew that you knew.
But you had already made the decision. You couldn't allow it. Even though you loved him more than you knew and it hurt so much more to leave him than his deception.
The sooner you got away from this house, the better it would be for you. Less suffering.
Hopeless and a mess, you walked away from him and everyone. Maybe someday your heart would heal but nothing was going to take away the fact that you loved that man and just as you loved him, you also lost him.
You lost the love of your life and you lost yoursef for that love.
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311 notes · View notes
mar3ggiata · 3 months
Text
professional help, introduction.
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simon riley x original character.
trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, mentions of death, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs, mafia - type organisations, eating disorders, depression, heavy mentions of gruesome death, abortions.
song to listen to when reading this: Dolcenera, Fabrizio de Andrè.
Black that carries away, that carries away the way,
black not seen in an entire lifetime,
so sweetblack, black, black that beats you up, that knocks down the doors.
The first time he ever saw her, she was crying. No, not necessarily crying, she was in a weird state of shock and terror. She was angry, more than anything. She looked like a demonic bunny, she was sweet and gentle but the look of pure rage on her face nearly scared him. His captain asked him to give her a ride to her house, it wasn't safe for her to drive in that condition. He thought she was his daughter he never knew about. Take one of the cars, he said, would you please get her out of here? He sensed something strange in his voice. Worry or, perhaps, guilt. What happened? Who was she, was she in danger? Why? The captain turned towards her, slightly slouching to get at her eye level. He couldn't really hear what he was saying, something along the lines of 'I trust him' and 'you don't worry, he'll get you home'. She looked at him like she was gonna jump on him and eat him alive, bite his neck and rip his skull open. Then she looked up at Ghost like he was going to be her next victim, right after his captain. She stood silent, fists curled with rage at her sides. She was small, short. She had a bag with her, large enough to fit a laptop. Did she work there? She was wearing smart attire, a blazer jacket a turtleneck, shiny black shoes. Was she a doctor? A lawyer? She's too young to be a lawyer, how old is she, 22? 24?
Black of bad luck, that kills and moves on,
black like the misfortune of making a den where there’s no moon, moon,
black of bitterness.
'This way' that's all he said. She was following him, dead serious. This is what weird nightmares that hunt you for the entire week look like. She walked with her back straight, she walked fast. Who is this, he continued to ask himself. He couldn't ask her for sure, he didn't want to die just yet. How come I never saw you? What did you do?
'Are you alright?' he finally asked when they approached one of the black trucks in the parking lot of the base. She spoke for the first time. Her voice was of someone who had been screaming and crying. 'Drive' she said, her voice raspy but her tone steady and firm. He watched her close the car door on the passenger side, she kept looking at the base behind them. Is someone after you? What happened, are you being followed is that why is not safe for you to get home by yourself? He did as she said, without replying. Her eyes stood fixated on the base that kept getting farther away from them as they took off, driving towards the city center. If she lived there, it would probably take them about 20 minutes to get there, through the desert. She seemed to slightly relax once they were deep in the deserted street, going just 10km/h over the speed limit. No one was on the road. She had her hands pressed between her thighs, to prevent them from shaking. She looked straight ahead of her. If he didn't kept glancing at her, he could have sworn she was a ghost.
He never managed to know what had happened, nor who she was. She vanished. No one ever spoke about that evening and he never saw her again. That is, until today.
notes: he could have sworn she was a Ghost babyyyy. brace yourselves this story will be long, I have a lot to say. my name is mare, first of all, i use she/her pronouns and english is not my first language!! I have no idea how to work with Tumblr, please bare with me I'm new, I don't know anything, teach me... the story is ongoing, however I have many chapters prepared. also, everything is fictional, every place, person, mission, everyone is fake. if you see similarities with the real world, it's a coincidence. these characters are not real. there will be a lot of detail, new people, characters I made up along with the original ones and notes at the end of each chapter. I do not consent to this work being re-published or translated. if you don't like how I portray the characters, don't read the story. if I make mistakes, do tell me. please read the trigger warnings because it might get violent and I am not responsible for your media consumption. the main character is an original character which I created, she has a name and is described physically in detail. enjoyy.
notes: song concept: "Dolcenera" is about a tryst that never came about due to the disruption of a major flood, such as occurred in Genoa in 1970. The term "dolcenera" refers to the dual nature of water - sweet when it is pure and life-giving, and black when it is fouled and out of control as in a flood.
53 notes · View notes
softxsuki · 11 months
Note
i wanted to know for the urgent request if it could be for the obey me! boys, mammon, levi, satan, asmo, and barbatos when reader has been really down and depressed and even told them they thought about committing so they comfort them for it? i haven't gotten any comforting recently and i love your writing so i was hoping you could do this :( <3
Obey Me Boys Comforting Reader With Depression
TW: PLEASE DON'T READ IF MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, SELF-HARM, AND THOUGHTS OF SUC*DE WILL MAKE YOU FEEL WORSE RATHER THAN COMFORT YOU. THANKS
Pairing: Mammon x Gn!Reader, Levi(OM) x Gn!reader, Satan x Gn!reader, Asmo x Gn!Reader, Barbatos x Gn!reader
Warnings: mentions of self-harming and old/new scars, depression, and mentions of reader wanting/thinking of taking their own life
Genre: Comfort
Post-Type: Headcanons
Word Count: 1.8k
Summary: In which the boys find out that MC is feeling depressed and thought of taking their own life, and that they also self-harm, so they provide MC with comfort in their own way :)
[A/N: Kya!!! Thank you so much for trusting me with your urgent request! I hope I did an okay job with it. It's been a little while since I last played Obey me, so I cam very much behind with it (and I'm stuck on the regular game bc I can't level up mu cards fast enough. rip) but I really hope this brings you some kind of comfort. I'm here if you ever need anyone to talk to if if you just need someone to listen to you. Feel better soon <333]
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Mammon:
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Mammon notices the sudden change in your mood straight away since he’s always around you
He does his best to try and cheer you up without directly confronting you about it
So he’d invite you out with him and might even spoil you with pretty things in hopes that using his money on you helps distract you from whatever you’re feeling
But that all changes when he sees your self-harm scars
Fear fills him and he knows he can’t just avoid the topic anymore, he doesn’t want to see you in pain or have you harm yourself anymore
So one day when you’re out with him in town, he softly takes your hand and leads you to a bench away from the hustle and bustle of the town
He’s a little cautious, he’s not really good with being direct about his feelings, especially not with you because he gets so nervous and this was serious…he was scared to mess up
“Y’know MC…I may not be the best person to go to about troubling things in your life, but I want ya to know that I’m here for you. I…don’t want to lose you. Actually, I can’t lose you–never. So maybe things are hard for ya right now, but you’re one of the most important people in my life. Your problems are The Great Mammon’s problems as well, so let me in, won’t ya?”
He’s awkwardly rubbing his neck now as he feels his face heating up, but at least he got everything he wanted to say out
So when you do open up to him about your depression, self-harm, and thoughts of taking your own life, he feels relieved that you are finally speaking about it with someone, but he’s also scared that you’ve been feeling that way and he had been trying to ignore it for so long
He’s scared to let you out of his sight after that, so if he shows up to your room at 3am with a spare pillow, you know why
Mammon’s always inviting you to his room as well so you can watch stuff together until you fall asleep
Extra clingy Mammon who’ll probably bug you about how you’re feelings every few minutes, but at least you know someone cares
You’d find all your issues slowly dissolving as he covers you with love and attention, just don’t block him out
Leviathan:
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Oh boy, Levi is very overdramatic when he finds out what’s been going on with you
He’s beyond scared to lose you–you’re his only best friend after all, the one who truly understands him and cares for him unconditionally
“I-I’m sorry I didn’t realize MC. I’m such a good-for-nothing. I can’t even tell when the person I care about the most is going through a tough time. Y-you’re amazing MC! You’re one of the best people I know, unlike all these other normies out there. You’re always so kind to me and I just hate that I couldn’t be there for you when you needed me…”
Yeah, he’s definitely beating himself up about it because how could he not realize???
“You’re always here for me, that’s why you’re the only one I felt comfortable telling this to. Please don’t blame yourself…I kinda didn’t want anyone to know at first; I thought I could deal with it on my own…” You’d explain to him
He’s a little relieved to hear it, but it still won’t make him feel any better
Levi is always throwing himself in the ground, so not being there for you at a time when you really needed him AND when he could have potentially lost you, scares him to death
Like Mammon, he keeps you by his side, but in your room since he sleeps in his tub and that’s not very comfortable for you LOL
He’d move all his games and game stations into your room and make a little base there to stay by your side until you’re feeling better
He probably goes to one of his older brothers who are more responsible like Lucifer or Satan and asks for their advice (without giving you away ofc. He’d make it sound like one of his online friends are dealing with this issue since you only trusted him with this info)
He’s very awkward and shy at times, but he’s glad that you trusted him to let him in on the pain you were feeling internally. He makes it his mission (literally, like he’s playing a game, but knowing that it’s far more serious) to get you back on your feet and in a better mental state
And we all know Levi is good at games, so this is one he won’t fail either :)
Satan:
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Satan reads a lot, books of all genres, so he picked up on your sudden change in behavior very quickly and he’s actually the one who goes to you first to talk about it
“What’s going on?” He bluntly asks one day when you’re in his room reading with him in a peaceful silence
That catches you off guard…did he know? You could see the serious look on his face so you decide to just open up to him about everything; the depression, the self-harm, and even the thoughts that flash through your mind of taking your own life
Satan listens silently as you speak, taking in all your words and you see his eyes soften the more you reveal to him
“I see…” he’s lost in thought for a moment, but then stands up and walks over to you, taking your hands in his as he leaves a gentle kiss to the back of your hand. “I knew something was up, but I wanted to hear it from you before I assumed too much. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way. I’m here though, and now that I know what’s going on, I’ll do anything and everything I can to ensure you feel better.”
And he really will
Whenever you come over to his room to do your daily reading together in each others presence, he spends his time reading books on mental health that give him plenty of advice on how to best help you
He isn’t overbearing though, he gives you your space and allows you to reach out to him whenever you need him, only checking up on you when it seems appropriate so you don’t feel suffocated, but deep down he is worried and scared to lose you
So he offers you his own help, but also asks if you’d like to go to the human world to see or speak to a professional who might be more helpful to you than he could be
He even volunteers to go along with you if you don’t want to go alone–he just wants you to be happy again to not feel so claustrophobic in your own skin
Whatever you decide to do, just know that you have his 10000000% support
Asmodeus:
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This man is very dramatic as well, but in a different way than Levi…
He throws tons of compliments your way in hopes that they help lift you up, but really, he’s better at giving physical acts of care
SO, your self-harm scars? He goes out of his way to wash them up and lotion them up, pressing small kisses the the older scars and newer ones as well
“Even with these marks, your skin is still as soft and beautiful as ever, darling. My lovely MC, I’ll do everything I can to take care of you from now on. I’ll pamper you everyday and remind you how much you mean to me, so please don’t harm yourself any longer…”
Asmo isn’t one to be very serious at times, but he knows now isn’t the time to joke around with you, so he’s uncharacteristically very serious, yet still as charming as ever
He’ll treat you to extra tight hugs and kisses, a little scared to let go in fear that he’d never be able to hold you again, so bear with him a little…he can be a bit suffocating
He isn’t the best listener or remarkably great at giving advice that doesn’t have anything to do with fashion or beauty, so he’d probably go to Lucifer for help, or maybe even Solomon, who’s more familiar with human emotions like depression
Anything you need or want, Asmo will get it for you
Get ready to feel more loved than you’ve ever felt before in your life
Barbatos:
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He knows…of course he knows, Barbatos knows everything 😀
The first time you attempted to self-harm, he was there to stop you, so you never even got the chance
What he didn’t know about though was your thoughts of attempting to take your life, since you never actually made the move to do it, you only really thought about it
So when he sits down with you to hear you out about attempting to self-harm and you open up about your other darker secrets as well, he’s shocked
Momentarily, it’ll show on his face, but he’ll catch himself and gently smile to you as you continue to speak your mind
He doesn't want you to feel embarrassed by any of this or to beat yourself up for getting caught or for feeling what you feel–you were human and humans experienced moments of intense emotions that they can’t control sometimes, he understood this very well
“Oh dear MC, I am relieved that I was able to stop you this time. Though, I must admit I do feel particularly regretful that I am not able to read minds so I could put your own mind to rest from your dark thoughts. Now that I am aware of everything, I shall do my best to assist you in recovering mentally”
He’s not the most emotional guy out there, but you know he cares for you and when Barbatos dedicates his time and attention to something, he WILL get it done
Barbatos takes your hand in his and presses a delicate kiss onto each of your fingers, and leans his head onto the back of your hand, in almost a way that he’s ready and willing to serve you (not that he didn’t already, but it’s more of like his own way of physically showing his dedication to you??? Does that make sense? KINDA like when a knight is knighted and vows to protect whoever he’s assigned to??? Am I making sense? hopefully…)
He doesn’t need to keep an eye on you because he’d be able to stop you anyway if you ever decided to do anything drastic, but he does free up time in his busy schedule to be with you, he’s dedicated to serving Diavolo, but you very quickly become his number one priority (you already were, but he was never aware of it himself lol)
I don’t know, but I just feel like Barbatos is such a soothing person to be with, his voice is like silk, it wraps you up like a warm blanket and feels like a big tight hug when you need it the most
SO I imagine you’d feel better pretty quickly with all the attention he’s giving you, and the warm tea he makes you????! You’re set for life, get ready to feel brand new
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REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D
Posted: 7/11/2023
233 notes · View notes
gucciwins · 1 year
Note
We need well kept secret 2.0 please I’m begging
I'm so happy you love well kept secret I truly am. I hope you enjoy this 3.3k little part two. there’s fluff, angst, and lots of love. enjoy mis amores 💜💜💜💜💜💜
read here: well kept secret
//
Harry was tired.
He was tired of sharing Y/N. He wanted a moment alone with her without someone interrupting, saying they needed her. It seemed everyone came to her for answers, never leaving her any time to spare for Harry. She always apologized, and Harry assured her it was okay because he hated seeing her upset.
Tour has been nonstop. Since the drop of his third album, his life has changed significantly because he got to do it with Y/N at his side as his girlfriend. She was the inspiration behind this new album, and he was glad to share it with her. Europe was wonderful; doing stadiums and going to bed with Y/N was his favorite thing, no longer having to long for her from afar. North America residencies were a blast. It felt nice to stay in a city for longer than a day.
Now onto the last leg of the tour, Harry realizes he hasn’t had time with his lovely girlfriend. He knows Y/N is working hard because she loves her job. She’s been Tom’s assistant manager for so long that she could do his work with her eyes closed. It’s the reason they all trust her to travel with him as part of the management but also because she is the best at keeping Harry on track. Except when he’s upset.
Harry wants to explore Mexico with Y/N, but everyone pulls her away. On the first night of his show in Guadalajara, Harry managed to steal her away for a quiet dinner in his dressing room. The one thing that keeps him going each night is that she’s in the audience cheering him on, if it’s from the side stage to a private booth and sometimes at the soundstage. He knows she’s always watching him shine and sing songs inspired by her.
“We should get away,” Harry told her as she crawled into bed, both tired from a long night.
“What?”
“Mmm… get away.”
“We’ve got holidays with your family,” she reminded him.
Harry sighed, fixing the blanket and making sure Y/N was tucked close to him. “We can do it after the final show. Or after the holidays, I’m tired of sharing you with everyone. No one lets me have time with you.”
Y/N frowns, “that’s not true.”
“Who have you been around the city with?”
She stays silent because Elin, Nyoh, and Sarah took her out for breakfast while Harry went to the gym. “They found me after I finished my emails,” she defends.
Harry sighs, “just say yes, please.”
“Yes, Harry, you have full permission to take me on holiday.”
“Yay,” he cheers. “It’ll be our first couple holiday.”
Y/N is surprised because he’s right. Every trip they’ve had has been because of his job. Sure they go out, but it’s always in groups. Harry is careful to never hold her hand. Having worked for Harry for a few years, she’s had her fair share of paparazzi photos. She remembers the first time Twitter was having a field day, not knowing who she was, and it wasn’t until someone looked up her Linkedin profile did they relax. She wonders what fans would think now? Probably say it was straight out of a fanfiction story. It’s a big reason Harry and her decided that their relationship would be theirs shared with family and close friends.
The trust Harry and Y/N have built through their friendship and now in their relationship is unbreakable.
_____
Brazil.
A wonderful country that welcomed Harry with open arms.
Y/N lays in bed, a face mask on her face, as Harry sits at the end of the bed on his phone, shooting text after text. Sometimes it was her job to be on the phone but now was her spa time. She relaxed, taking the time to paint her nails and do a deep skincare routine. Most of the time, Harry was the one painting her nails.
“Listen to this, love. Harry Styles gets risky in Brazil with a Brazilian lover, or is it his secret girlfriend. Read to find out more.” Harry reads, trying his best to hold in his anger.
“What photo did they use?”
“It’s awful.”
Y/N is now even more curious.
“You have to show me now.”
Harry scoots closer, putting his phone above her face, and she looks at a photo of Harry and her lounging outside the pool in Brazil. Harry had begged her to come lay with him to forget all their friends, and who was she to argue with him when he looked so good his shorts rolled all the way up to get an even tan. She settled down next to him, setting her leg between him. She rests her head on his chest. Harry’s hand was quick to find a home on her ass, not that she minded. He had given her a good squeeze teasing her about her skimpy bikini. Harry was comfortable touching Y/N because he felt safe in his hotel, knowing there were not many people lounging around.
“I’m flattered they think I can pass off as a Brazilian.”
Harry sits back on his heels, “you’re not mad.”
Y/N shifts, sighing, “how do you want me to respond?”
He falls silent because he knows there is no correct way to deal with this type of situation.
“If it were up to me, I’d post you all over my Instagram, but your fans, for some reason, think because I’m an extension of you. That I will give them an insight to you.” Y/N sighs, getting up and walking to the bathroom to finish her routine Harry follows her. “I understand they want to get to know you, but you deserve privacy. I think we deserve the decency to be in a relationship and not be forced to confirm it.”
Harry sits on the counter and washes as she rinses her face with lukewarm water and then taps it dry with the towel he passes over. “I understand. You’re really good at this job. Now how would you respond as my girlfriend?”
“You want me to get mad at the Daily Mail for posting my ass for the world to see. Be thankful I don’t have any kind of tattoo there, or they would be quick to identify it was me.” Y/N understands Harry and knows he’s upset because he signed up for this life, so to say, while her job is to be a manager and help his team. He hates that those around him get affected in the worst way.
“I want to make sure this won’t be a reason for you to leave me.”
Now it’s making sense. Harry feels insecure not about their relationship but about how it will be viewed. She works for him but isn’t managed by him. There would be endless talk, but Y/N has never cared for gossip, not unless it was about her grandfather's Sunday bingo nights that always ended in a new fight.
“I’ve been in love with you for years, Styles. I’ve seen you at your worst and best. A pesky article or two won’t send me away.”
Harry lets her words sink in, and he knows he can trust her. Not once has she ever lied to him, and he knows she would not start now.
“Even when they find out who you are?”
Y/N laughs, “if they manage to do that by a photo of my ass, then they should definitely sign up for some secret service job. Those skills will certainly come in handy.”
“I want to keep you safe from all the hate.”
She steps in between his thighs, taking a good look at his face, he’s full of anguish, and she feels upset at how much this affects him.
“It’s not always possible, but I appreciate it, H. More than you realize.”
She pushes his lips to hers, knowing she needs to help him take his mind off this article. Harry is quick to respond, always a little eager and desperate. He's nibbling at her bottom lip, carefully pulling before she feels his tongue slide against her lips. Y/N opens up for him. She always does. She allows herself to get lost in the feeling. She wonders if she can feel her heart pounding, he seems to always have that effect on her.
He pulls back breathless, a smirk pulling on his face as he scatters kisses on her bare skin, pushing down at the straps of her tank top.
“Come on,” she tugs at his hand, backing out of the bathroom.
“Where are you taking me?” He laughs.
“Think I’ve heard that an orgasm or two is the best way to clear your mind,” she teases.
Harry laughs. It’s the best idea he has heard all day.
“Going to fuck you until you’re crying and begging me to stop,” Harry assures her.
“You promise?”
It’s safe to say they didn't leave their room that day.
_____
The days in Brazil had been a treat. Harry had enjoyed going out through the city with Y/N entering shops, and talking with anyone who would give time to listen to their broken Portuguese. Y/N had been getting ready in the bathroom as Harry prepared to head to the gym when a phone began to ring. He knew it was Y/N’s because everyone knew she kept her phone on the ringer, ready to help out whoever was calling her. She truly seemed to have all the answers.
Harry frowned, picking up Y/N’s phone and seeing Jeff call her. That is not at all who he was expecting, but he answered it nonetheless.
“Jeff?”
“H,” Jeff greets. “Where’s Y/N?”
“In the bathroom.”
“Tell her to be in the meeting room in 15 minutes.”
“What for? Don’t I have to be there?” Harry jokes.
Jeff laughs. “Nice try. Don’t think this new client would like that.”
Client.
“She–what?”
“Don’t play now, H. She mentioned potentially managing her own clients, didn’t she?”
Harry frowns because, no, she hadn’t.
“She’ll be there.”
“H,” Jeff winces, knowing he has messed up.
Harry hangs up, not wanting Jeff to be the one to explain to him a matter that Y/N had decided not to share with him.
Y/N walks out a few moments later. He takes in her outfit, casual but not her usual outfits. She’s in trousers and a cardigan he knows she only wears for important meetings. This must be one of them. Harry wants to be angry, but he’s upset she didn’t share this news with him.
“Jeff said conference room in fifteen,” he mutters.
She freezes as she picks up her phone that he had thrown on the bed. Y/N calls his name, and when he doesn’t meet her eyes, she knows he’s found out.
“Harry, please.”
He shakes his head. “You’ve got somewhere to be.”
Y/N doesn’t want to leave the room when he’s angry with her.
She gets down on her knees in front of him. He won’t meet her gaze as much as she tries. She’s careful, setting her hands on his thigh, “H, will you listen to me? You know I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He croaked out.
Y/N felt a piece of her heartbreak. “Fear.”
Harry lifted his head to see her eyes filled with tears. He’s never known her to be scared, always going into opportunities with confidence he envied. She never backed down without a fight.
“Of what?”
She shrugs, and he gives her hand a gentle squeeze. “Fear of leaving this job I love. Fear of failing at this new opportunity I’ve dreamed of having. There’s so much I can lose if I do this or if it goes well. You’re number one on the list. It’s also the reason I didn’t tell you because I know you’d be supportive and tell me to go for my dreams, but it also means leaving you and everyone here. I love our team and how safe I feel. But as much as I love this job, I know my worth. I’m glad that others can recognize it and allow me this opportunity to prove I have the skills to manage my clients.”
Harry nods because he knows where she’s coming from. When he was with the band, it was safe until it wasn’t. He took that opportunity to go solo and was filled with fear and anxiety that it would not be enough. It was thanks to Jeff and everyone who rallied with him. Harry, in some way, has been in her shoes. He just wished she had let him know so that he could have helped soothe her anxiety.
“Go, and tell me all about it when you get back.”
“H,” she asks wearily.
He shakes his head, “promise I’m not mad. A little upset, but nothing a few kisses and cuddles can’t fix.”
“I love you so much, Harry. I’m not leaving you.” She promises.
His sweet girl. He’s had her by his side for over four years, and he was foolish to let his fear of losing her not pursue her. Now he had her and knew that although Y/N would no longer be traveling with him as much, he’d never felt so secure in her love for him. Harry swears he loves her more than he loves him, although they argue about it constantly. He knows a part of him wants to keep her, but he wouldn’t dare put himself between her dreams, not when she’s been a constant in his.
“You’re going to go to that meeting, wow the client, and come back to tell me all about it.”
“You mean it,” she whispers.
Harry places his hands on her face, takes in her soft eyes, and knows that he’s proud of her no matter what. Yes, his first instinct was hurt, but now hearing her out, he knows where she's coming from, and all he can be is proud of her.
“You’re securing your first client today, love.”
She rolls her eyes, “I wouldn’t go that far.”
Harry knows she’s got lots of thoughts eating her up, but that’s why he’s here to keep her grounded to uplift her. “You are an important part of this team. You’re the key that keeps us running smoothly. Whoever Jeff is introducing to you will be more than lucky to have you. Don’t think we’ll ever replace you.”
“Harry,” she pleads.
He leans in, pressing a chaste kiss against her lips. “If you decide you hate it, you can always come back to me,” he teases.
“Thank you, H.”
Although she’s left with a pinch of anxiety, she knows Harry is right. Whether she’s right by his side or across the country, Y/N knows she will always have him at her side.
“Now, don’t be too long. We got endless pão de queijo to try.”
_____
“Are you actually doing this?” Harry asks as he watches Y/N read the translated waiver.
There’s the final show tonight of the year, and Y/N had told him she wanted to commemorate this by getting a tattoo. Harry thought she was joking, but when she told him to call up her friend, he knew she was serious. It wouldn’t be her first tattoo and certainly not her last but the reason she was getting it made his heart twist.
To no one’s surprise, she nailed the meeting. Y/N had secured her first clients and would meet them in London by the end of the week. Harry knew she’d be busy from the start of the year and would see her less and less, which is why he’s almost done planning their holiday. It’s Christmas with his family, a quick visit to hers, and then somewhere secluded and warm to ring in the New Year together.
Harry was proud of Y/N and was already working with Jeff to have a proper send-off celebration for her. He won’t tell her that he cried to his Mum while she was at her meeting because he was scared of what might happen in the future. The good thing is his Mum set him straight, reminding him to always fight for Y/N because she was the best thing to happen to him. He knew his Mum was right Y/N had been a shining light from the moment she entered his life. Harry knew she would continue to be even if she was no longer working for him. Honestly, the only other person taking it harder than Harry was Tom, who hired Y/N. She was his right hand. She would be taking a piece of everyone, having impacted everyone on their team.
She shrugs, “what’s one more?”
“Tattoos are forever, love.”
“Oh geez, you mean the Snoopy tattoo on my ankle is forever.”
Harry rolls his eyes, “I’m serious.”
“I am too.”
Y/N had the bright idea for their last show in Brazil to get a tattoo. She had told Harry it was for her first official magazine cover, even if it was her backside. They knew it was Y/N’s goodbye to her last full tour with him. Harry already has his “Brasil” tattoo, and Y/N wants a matching one.
“We’ll do my right thigh. It’s my least favorite.”
Harry laughs, knowing she favored her left foot more than her right because when she was a teenager, she was learning how to ride a skateboard, and instead of riding on it, she tripped and fractured her ankle. It’s a reason she always cusses anyone out who dares ride one in front of her.
“If that’s what you want, my love.”
“It is.”
Y/N is told to lie down. She wore bikini bottoms, different ones from her paparazzi pool day, and folded up her skirt as they prepped her skin to get inked forever. Harry sits beside her, holding her hand as he watches her face trying to identify every emotion present; so far, he’s seen excitement, calm, and adrenaline. All letting him know that she wanted this.
“Matching tattoos means I’m going to keep you forever,” Harry tells her. The only other person he had a matching tattoo with was his sister; they were blood-related, so he knew it was something he’d never regret. Harry didn’t want Y/N to regret this, regret him.
Y/N always seems to know what he’s thinking. She sends him a smile, allowing him to relax in his chair. The tattoo artist excuses himself for a moment giving them a moment of privacy. “Every day, we wake up with a choice. To be good people. To want to live a better life.” Harry smiles as she lifts his hand, giving him a soft kiss. “I choose you every day. I choose to love you and support you. I choose to see the good in you no matter what. You are not a choice I will ever regret, you want to know why Harry Styles?”
Harry nods.
“Because you choose me every day too. You choose me to be the person you confide in. You choose to share your good days and bad days with me. You chose me from the moment we met.” Harry feels his throat closing and takes a deep breath trying his best to hold in his tears.
“Tomorrow is not promised, but I can assure you I will love you every day I wake up, and the sun is shining.”
“You’re everything to me, Y/N,” Harry croaks, not caring that his tears had begun to run free.
“Ditto, Styles.”
Harry was prepared for all the ups and downs and twists and turns the new year had in store for them, but he knew that all roads would lead him right back to Y/N.
Y/N was home.
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