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ineffable-romantics · 9 months

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Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:

This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:

First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)

These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.

I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.

This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.

Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.

This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.

If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.

With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.

Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can

Food

Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).

This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.

Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.

(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)

Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.

The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.

And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.

It's What Humans Do

In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).

He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).

What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.

But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.

Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?

Angels, Demons, & Asexuality

Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.

Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)

And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).

The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.

I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.

Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.

Except...

Brielzebub

We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.

For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.

And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).

Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.

Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.

Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction

But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?

And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.

At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).

So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?

I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.

After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)

Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.

However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".

Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.

I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.

But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.

(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)

More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.

Aziraphale's Hedonism

Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.

It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.

Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.

Dancing

I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.

I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.

We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.

(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)

As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.

Love Languages

I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.

We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.

You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.

The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).

And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.

So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.

So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.

"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"

Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.

First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")

(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)

More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.

Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.

The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).

Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.

Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.

The Birds & The Bees

Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.

Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.

Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma

The Kiss. Where to even begin?

This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.

It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.

Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.

Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.

So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.

I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.

What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.

All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.

(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)

Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).

Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.

In Conclusion

I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.

So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.

You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.

But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.

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Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post

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blueberry-pride · 1 year

Note

hi, can i ask for a part two for this with Floyd,Azul,Riddle,Malleus and Ruggie please?

If u accept request rn?

Don't Deny It Babe~ Part 2

warnings: semi-proof read Berry: I didn't think that the previous post would gain a 2nd part so thank you for the chance! as always, enjoy! <3

"W-wait, are you sure?" Riddle would have a brief mental pause. He'd then have that cute pouty expression when he's embarrassed thus furthering your point. *cue his blush*

Riddle would be a bashful and stuttering mess especially if he's present or within earshot of you talking about his 'cute' qualities to others. He has a reputation of being the strict dorm leader after all!

There would be times that you'd find this young gent to be quiet and a lil timid as you continue to ramble on cuz slowly overtime he'd like this approachable view that you see in him.

Eventually, He'd slowly accept your image of him but I'd imagine you would catch him puffing up his chest as he tries to make himself more refined in the mirror. (Why do I lowkey see him getting "manly" advice from Trey and Cater?) Antics aside, he'd get all warm and fuzzy thinking about your comments, putting a very soft smile to his face whenever he thinks about it <3

If there's anyone who doubts your views, He'd simply watch you debate or argue from afar cuz he enjoys seeing you be so passionate even if the topic is about him. If the others laugh or starts making fun of either you or him tho ...just remember, he IS watching *looks to Ace*

"Uh...what?" Ruggie's ears flattened at the comment. "You think I'm CUTE?" he spoke with wide eyes. I feel like this wouldn't be the first time this hyena was called that compliment. Most likely his grandma. Meemaw Bucchi: *pinches his cheeks* awww you look so cute all dressed up in that uniform!

He'd be the type to ask you the why's, when's, and how's or just whatever type of reasoning you've had to decided out of all descriptions, you chose 'cute' for a guy like him. I see him also being the type to check himself out in front of mirror but in a very confused state.

He'd at first don't want ANY of the Savanaclaw guys hear about this. (he might as well be chopped meat if Leona ever got a word of this) So the moment he'd sense that you're about to go in one your tangents about him, he'd start messing with ya like tickling or hell even spinning you around just to whisk the two of you away from curious eyes and ears.

But I supposed overtime, this hyena beastman would be curious enough to try and use his this 'cute' side to soften people up for opportunities. (Outside of campus most likely) Of course he'd first test it out on you and often times you'd let him cuz after all, who couldn't say no to such a face?

But here's the thing, you're definitely not safe from HIM calling you cute and all~ Imagine he'd playfully steal your pen or something after class and as you try to grab for it he'd give a fleeting peck on the cheek. "Oh would you look at that." He chuckled. "Guess we're both the cute ones now eh (Y/N)~?" goodluck

"eh...HEH?" He stammered. He tries a little too hard to regain his composure afterwards but you'd know that your comments shot through to his classy exterior. Now you're left with a blushing and babbling octo-man.

Similar to Ruggie, our boi also has a lot of questions but the key difference is that he deals with them...internally. You, along with the rest of Octavinelle and even Jamil would notice his scrunched up face at random points throughout the day. A million and one questions running through his mind on why you'd think of him like that.

It was already too late for him because he already overheard you talking about this with the leech twins. He might as well evaporate at that point. You know the gif of the dog smiling while the room is on fire and saying 'This is fine'? That's our boi Azul right there

It takes a while for him to open up to the idea. He takes baby steps by also teasing you and showing you his perceived 'cute' side to you in private just to entertain you and see his precious pearl smile.

Overtime, he'd enjoy it and thinks it's also the best thing ever to rub it in people's face as you talk their ear off especially Jamil. "My precious pearl that is (Y/N) lovingly proclaims that I am the cute one, so that is now law."

"Hmm...You mean" Floyd tilt his head to the side. "Koebi-chan thinks I'm...cute?" He mostly says this out loud to confirm it to himself. After a few seconds he smiles gleefully towards you. Get ready for a wild ride (Y/N)!

Every time he thinks about it or you'd say it again. He'd chuckle and spin you around like as if there weren't any other people around. THAT'S how happy he is. His classmates and the rest of his dorm would find it a lil terrifying seeing this man just humming, kicking his feet in glee during class or in the lounge repeating the words "They think I'm cute~ my Koebi-chan thinks I'm cute~"

I could see him sometimes using this as an excuse to skip his shift at the lounge. Poor Azul cutting his lifespan in half every time he heard Floyd utter the words "Because Koebi-chan said so, wouldn't want to ruin a cute face like mine from all the stress. Maybe you should try it sometime Azul~"

You guys probably already see this one coming but he would be the scary shadow looming over you as you explain your side that your boyfriend is in indeed the cute one out of the two of y'all. 'You dare say otherwise to my (Y/N)?'

Threats aside, I know that Floyd genuinely does love it when you call him cute. I also know that he's clever enough that people would find him scary due to his height and his personality so he lowkey gets all soft when it comes to you, acting all bashfully as he hugs with all the adoration he has for you <3

"Could you please repeat what you've just told me?" He'd ask. "You find me...cute, Child of Man?" Genuinely surprised and has the shooketh or cute dumb-founded expression we all know and love.

This dark Fae overall finds it amusing, chuckles to himself from thinking about it from time to time. The memory of you semi-debating to him, that he, one of the most strongest and formiddable mages in Twisted Wonderland, is adorable.

Diasomnia or just the entirety of NRC is often concerned and question about your state of mind but then you'd shoo them off or rather, they 'unexpectedly have a change of heart and mind' and totally not from the dark aura with horns behind you.

He likes watching you debate about it especially if its his family in Diasomnia (looking at you Sebek) He thinks that when you're like this, he finds it sweet and endearing to defend your case about your judgement of him.

As the mischievous Fae that he often is, I see him doing small tests for you, showing off terrifying magical shi like shaking the ground beneath you, skies littered with thunder and lightning or hell surrounding you in a circle of green flames all to see if you still call him cute afterwards. (GG Night Raven College )

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twstファンアート #twst wonderland #twst headcanons #twst x y/n #twst x reader #twst x mc #riddle rosehearts x reader #ruggie bucci x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #floyd leech x reader #malleus draconia x reader #riddle rosehearts #ruggie bucci #azul ashengrotto #malleus draconia

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miracleonice87 · 9 months

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new heights, new news, new baby

part of the kissing kelce universe

a/n: I've come to the conclusion that I will never be organized enough to make this a well-planned, thought-out, sequential series, so I've decided I'm just gonna post things hella outta order and then reorganize them into a chronological masterlist. deal? deal. 🤝 enjoy more daddy-to-be trav and, introducing, supportive uncle jason. takes place the day travis leaves for chiefs training camp.

warnings: mention of pregnancy / babies, mention of anxiety / sadness / loneliness, plenty of crying both happy and sad teras, swearing, I think that's it

word count: ~4,400+

___

July 22, 2023

“Now, before we get into our training camp preview and talk about some expectations for the season, Travis, you had a little something you wanted to say to the good folks at home?” Jason prompted, teeing up his brother on this week’s New Heights episode – the last they’d record before they both left for their respective camps.

Travis nodded, his blue eyes sparkling. “A little something, indeed, my brother,” he teased. “We have an announcement today, y’all! Alright nah!”

“Some new news, one might say!” Jason added, referencing the beloved segment of their podcast.

“NEW NEWS!” Travis shouted excitedly. “Yo, can I get a drumroll please?”

Jason immediately started rolling his tongue, pretending like he had drumsticks in his hand. Travis continued, speaking over the sound.

“This is like, the biggest announcement of my whole entire life. There were points where I never thought I’d be sharing news like this. It’s so crazy that I even get to do this right now. Gah dang. But, uh, anyway, I know we joke around here a lot, but this is a big one, folks, and I-”

Jason interrupted his brother’s emotional rambling, as well as his own sound effects. “Get to the point, please, my mouth is getting tired!” Jason picked his drumroll back up seamlessly as Travis giggled like a schoolboy.

“Alright, y’all… here we go,” Travis said, rubbing his hands together mischievously. “Mrs. Kelce, would you please come over here, sweetness?” he requested, his voice syrupy smooth as he extended a hand, inviting you into the camera shot.

Instead of crouching to put your face into frame as you normally would for your occasional brief pop-ins to the podcast, you stood next to Travis’s chair so that only your middle was showing, your stance perpendicular to the camera so the now-round profile of your belly was clearly visible. Jason gasped as if he hadn’t already known the news for months. You rested a hand on the top of your stomach, making it unmistakable what you and Travis were announcing, and he reached his own hand out to palm your bump, which at this point he could still easily do thanks to his impossibly big hands.

He held your free hand in his, beaming up at you, then looked back to the camera.

“We’re havin’ a baby, y’all!” he shouted, before letting out a “wooooo-eee!”

On the other end of the Zoom, Jason was clapping and whooping excitedly, matching his brother’s energy.

Travis then patted his lap, inviting you to sit down to, one, get you off your feet and, two, make it so your face was also visible in frame.

“This is the moment we’ve been waiting for, folks!” you heard Jason boom theatrically as you put on the AirPods Max that Travis had set aside for you ahead of the recording. “Wyatt and Elliotte have been asking every day since they found out what a ‘cousin’ was when they were gonna get one, asking why Uncle Travvy and Auntie don’t have babies like me and mommy, telling them they can take Bennett home with them if they wanted…”

Travis cackled, throwing his head back. “That is a true statement,” he said as he held your hips firmly.

“1000%, can confirm,” you added, wrapping your own hands around your husband’s. He squeezed your fingers a few times, and you threw him an adoring smile over your shoulder as his brother continued.

“And we all know Mama Kelce has been hoping for this for years now. So this is obviously something the whole extended Kelce family has been anticipating for a long time, and it’s finally here, and we couldn’t be happier for you guys,” Jason said, tone more serious now.

“Aww, thank you, my brother,” Travis said fondly, pressing a reverent kiss to your shoulder.

“Yeah, thank you, Jase, so much. We’re so excited to finally give the girls a cousin!” you said.

“Now, tell us how this happened,” Jason began.

Travis cleared his throat. “Well, you see, Jason, when two people love each other very much-”

The older brother rolled his eyes and interrupted.

“You know what I mean!” he insisted. “Just tell the people however much you wanna tell ‘em.”

Travis looked to you as if silently asking for permission, and you simply gestured toward the camera.

“Go ahead, Trav,” you said, a jesting tone to your voice. “I know it’s something you’re very proud of, so please share with the class.”

With that, Travis turned back toward the camera and waggled his eyebrows, getting as close to the mic as possible.

“Well, folks… we made us a Super Bowl baby,” he said dramatically before letting out his signature cackle. You simply deadpanned to the camera, Jim Halpert-style, and shrugged.

Jason nodded emphatically. “You suuure did,” he said with a knowing laugh. “You knew I was having a kid right after the Super Bowl and you wanted to jump on the train.”

You and Travis exchanged a devilish glance.

“Yeah, something like that,” you joked, knowing that jumping on Jason and Kylie’s train by conceiving a baby mere days before she gave birth to their third was certainly not your original plan. “I mean, what better Super Bowl souvenir could you ask for than a baby?!” you said wryly, causing Travis to look into the camera haughtily.

“A Lombardi, a ring, and a kid,” he said, counting off on his fingers. “Alright nah,” he repeated, far too pleased with himself.

“That’s awesome,” Jason said, still smiling. “Now, how are you feeling? I know it was a tough road there at first.”

You nodded, and you felt Travis’s hold on your waist tighten protectively, maybe even subconsciously. “Yeah, I was pretty sick there for a few months, couldn’t get ‘out of the house’ a whole lot, much to this podcast’s dismay, but thankfully, that mostly passed when my first trimester ended,” you explained. “We don’t wanna necessarily share our exact due date, but I’ll say I’m well into my second trimester now and I’m feeling good. I’ve gotten to enjoy not only just the relief of feeling better but also the excitement of sharing this with friends and family – obviously, Mama and Papa Kelce, you and Kylie, all my family, and we just started telling the team, too, which has been really fun.”

“Aww, that’s the best,” Jason remarked. “What was Big Red’s reaction?”

Travis piped up at the mention of his head coach. “Uh, to no one’s surprise, he looked me dead in the eye with the most serious fucking look on his face and said, ‘surprised it took ya this long, son,’” he revealed in his best Andy Reid voice, making you shake your head in amusement.

“Yep, nope, does not surprise me one bit,” Jason said, giggling. “And what about your boy Mahomes?”

“Aw, man, Pat was so pumped up, and Brittany, too,” Travis replied. “Pat just started runnin’ laps around his kitchen yellin’ ‘let’s go! let’s fucking go!’ He ‘bout knocked me over!”

“Yeah, those two have tagged us with babysitting duty on the regular for a couple years now, ever since Sterling was born, hoping that we would catch that baby fever and give her a playmate,” you added, laughing as you looked down at Travis. “I can’t say that’s necessarily what happened, but, um, either way, Sterling and Bronze will have another little team buddy to play with here soon which will be so fun to see. Brittany and Patrick have both been so great for both of us, just letting us know kind of what to expect, things that you might not learn in all the books or from your parents who did this a few decades ago. Especially with us all being on the same team, even just getting the lowdown on the logistical stuff, those two are just the best. They’re super excited for us which is just a really great feeling.”

“No doubt – I’ve got a feeling this will bring you guys even closer,” Jason mused.

“Absolutely – already has,” Travis said. “So, yeah! That’s the big ‘New News’ for today, everybody. We’ve been keeping this on the DL for quite some time, and we just wanted to be able to share this ourselves in the way we choose, because obviously with camp starting tomorrow and the season just right around the corner, cameras might catch some footage of Mrs. Kelce visiting camp, in the stands, whatever, and we didn’t want people to be weird, so… y’all heard it here first!”

“Damn straight,” Jason asserted. “And just one more thing… I wanted to say, before our mom-to-be hops off here. I, uh… aw, fuck, I swore to Kylie I wasn’t gonna cry,” he said, sniffling as he fixed his eyes toward the ceiling, blinking repeatedly.

“Aww, Jase!” you murmured as you watched him tear up.

“I’m good, I’m good,” he assured, still sniffling as he continued. In the corner of the screen, you could see your husband beginning to well up, too, and you caressed his thigh soothingly as he sat in poignant silence. “I just wanted to say that when Travis told us the news, that was truly the happiest I have ever seen my brother – and this dude has been drafted to the NFL, he’s been a Pro Bowler, All-Pro, broken so many records, won two Super Bowls. But by far, the happiest and most excited I’ve ever seen this guy is telling us that you’re having a baby. And as his big brother, that just makes me so fuckin’ proud.”

You and Travis were both pawing at fallen tears by now, and Travis could only manage a quiet “thank you.” You patted his knee and, after a deep breath, shared your own thoughts.

“Thank you, Jase, and while we’re making each other cry–” both brothers chuckled at that, “–I’ll say that I know Travis is going to be the best dad, not only because of the incredible man and husband that already he is, and the way you both were raised by your own amazing parents, but also because of the example you have set for him, Jason, by being such an awesome dad to your three girls.” You paused and took a deep, shuddering breath, and Travis rubbed your back to calm you. Jason was nodding, tears streaking his face. “So thank you for that, and for all your love and support through everything, and Kylie’s, too. You guys are gonna be the greatest aunt and uncle this kid could ever ask for, and Travis and I can’t wait to watch that.”

Travis let out a whistle, cheeks, nose, and eyes pink from crying. “Uh, I will never make it through this episode if I add anything more to that, so I will just say, here here, baby girl,” he offered with a laugh. “We love you, brother.”

“I love you guys, too,” Jason said as he finally regained his composure. “Whew! Yeah, how the fuck are we supposed to keep recording after all that?! Can we just be done? I am emotionally exhausted. I need a nap.”

As Travis giggled boyishly, you agreed, “I do, too, so I’m gonna leave you guys to it. Thanks for having me, guys; thanks for giving me a baby, Trav; and good luck at camp, Jase. We’ll talk soon.”

Travis tapped the outside of your thigh pointedly, his frequent way of silently requesting a kiss. You grasped his chin to peck his lips as Jason thanked you and said a final goodbye.

“Have a good nap, mama,” Travis cooed as you took off your headphones and returned them to their original spot. “Daddy’ll be up as soon as we’re done,” he added playfully.

You laughed and rolled your eyes, shoving his shoulder as you stood up and exited the frame.

“Oh, Jesus, he’s already calling himself ‘Daddy,’” Jason complained with a weary sigh.

___

Normally, after wrapping an episode, Travis would bound up the stairs and infuse your home with all the leftover energy he had built up during the podcast recording with his brother. One of your favorite things about him co-hosting the podcast, in addition to loving the scheduled opportunity it created for him to connect with his brother, was how buoyant of a mood he was always in after a recording.

But today, the feeling that settled over your household when he wrapped the episode about an hour after your surprise guest appearance was much less chipper.

Today, Travis trudged upstairs to do the one thing he’d been dreading all summer – say his goodbyes to you before leaving for training camp. Though camp at Missouri Western State University was only about an hour from your home in the outskirts of Kansas City, he wouldn’t be home again for five days; instead, he’d be staying on campus with the team and bunking in a dorm. Normally, departing for camp and knowing he’d be spending days on end with his teammates focusing on making themselves better football players excited him, save for a hint of sadness about being away from you, but this particular camp, having to leave his five months pregnant wife at home, he was not looking forward to by any stretch of the imagination.

When Travis pushed open the basement door, he found you lounging on the couch with your back to him, legs outstretched on the plush cushions as you cradled your bump, some version of the Housewives franchise playing on the TV in front of you. You tipped your head back onto the arm of the couch in order to see him and asked, “how’d it go?”

He took advantage of your position to rest his thumbs on your cheekbones and give you an upside-down “Spider-Man kiss.”

“Went great,” he answered curtly, a vastly different response than the pumped-up recap you normally received. “That was the easy part of today,” he added, gazing down at you with his brow furrowed. Even upside-down, he was struck by your captivating beauty, which only tightened the lump already forming in his throat.

Did he really have to fucking do this?

You groaned, drowning in your own feelings of dread, and sat up, signaling the dogs at your feet to follow your lead. You reached out your hands in order to allow Travis to help you up from the couch and gave him your bravest face as he did so.

“I’ll walk you out,” you said, feigning confidence. But the crack in your voice when you added “can’t have you showing up late” revealed the crack in your armor, and you watched Travis’s chin drop to his chest, his eyes fixed on his shoes as he forced himself to take one… step… at a time closer to the front door.

One foot in front of the other, Travis.

You led the way, fluttering your eyelashes repeatedly in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. The dogs circled your feet as you attempted to walk out the front door, and Travis, fearing a fall, whistled and called them back into the house, patting both their heads as he passed.

When the two of you reached Travis’s Range Rover, already packed with all he needed for camp – duffels full of clothes and shoes, an array of video game consoles, deck of cards and set of pong balls for the inevitable team drinking games, and all his favorite snacks, along with a secret handwritten note you’d tucked into his toiletry kit in order to surprise him upon his unpacking – you stood a couple of feet apart, quiet, your husband shuffling his feet beneath him as you shifted your weight uncomfortably from side to side. You gazed up at him helplessly, a rigid, lips-only smile fixed on your face, and he took this moment for yet another reveal, sifting through his shorts pockets to find what he’d grabbed on the way out the door.

“I know this sucks, sweetness, but… I do have a surprise for you…” He dangled a set of keys in front of you which you noticed were not his.

“New car?” you teased halfheartedly, recognizing the worn key fob to your Porsche after a moment.

“Mm, not quite, we got a baby on the way, ya know? Gotta save that coin,” Travis teased right back. “I think it’s better than a new car.”

You raised your eyebrows, staring at him expectantly. He let it marinate in your brain for a few more moments, finally breaking when you threw your arms around his waist, pressing your baby bump to his torso, and whined his name. He beamed.

“Alright, alright, you know that’s gonna work every time now,” he admitted, giggling. He caressed your jaw with his knuckles and you noticed the glimmer in his eyes. “Listen, I know you’re sad because I’m leavin’, but you gotta get on the road, too… because you gotta go pick up your mama from the airport.”

You gasped, covering your mouth with both hands.

“Really?” you whispered after a stunned pause.

“Really,” he confirmed, nodding.

You’d only seen your mom once since finding out you were having a baby, and Travis had noticed that your pregnancy had you feeling more homesick than usual. Especially with so many of the Chiefs better halves, who would best understand this phase of your life, having scattered for the offseason, and with Travis’s own mom and sister-in-law living halfway across the country, he felt awful that you didn’t have your mom nearby during this exciting, but unsettling, time. Knowing, too, that you always struggled being apart from him in those first few days of training camp, he had preemptively arranged for his mother-in-law to arrive in Kansas City just as he departed for St. Joseph, hoping that that would alleviate at least some of your loneliness at this delicate time when you were already feeling unusually vulnerable.

Travis melted when you threw your arms around him again, this time desperately, not jokingly. He rubbed your back, beaming when he heard you whimper, “thank you.”

“Of course, sweetness,” he replied warmly, burying a kiss in your hair. “Anything to keep baby mama happy.”

You giggled, resting your chin on his sternum and tipping your head up to look at him.

“Yeah, you’re pretty good at that,” you praised, fondness thick in your tone as you rested a hand against his neck. “When does she land?”

Travis glanced at his watch. “Just over an hour,” he informed you. “So don’t rush. You got plenty of time.” A proud smile slowly stretched across his face as he added, “I got a lot of fun stuff planned for y’all this week.”

Your eyebrows lifted, your excitement building by the minute, and Travis watched your face light up with each word as he continued.

“You guys are gonna do a spa day tomorrow, got you a suite at the Royals game the next night, then you’re gonna come see me at camp, obviously, because I wanna see Mama, too. And then you’re gonna go run around and do your registry for your baby shower, because she knows all the stuff we’re gonna need, and weeee… do not,” he admitted, laughing.

The corners of your mouth pulled down as your face contorted, eyes welling with tears, and Travis could see that you were overwhelmed with emotion, humming a laugh as he guided the side of your head to rest against his chest.

“And that’s why I waited to tell you – because I knew you’d cry every other hour ‘til she got here,” he told you, only half joking, as he hugged you tight.

A giggle bubbled forth from your lips. “You were right, like always,” you said, voice tight, so appreciative of how well this man knew and cared for you. “You’re so thoughtful, Trav, thank you so much.”

“I mean it when I say literally an-y-thing for you,” he repeated, emphasizing each syllable. “I love you so much,” he said as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. And after a deep sigh, he regretfully mumbled, “And now I gotta go.”

You pushed away from him slowly, your left hand lingering on his broad chest as he looked down at you with what had to be the saddest expression you’d ever seen him wear. He gathered your hand in his and pressed a lengthy kiss to your wedding rings, then the skin around them.

“Go be great,” you whispered, smoothing your other hand over his stubbly cheek.

Travis’s eyes closed and he drew a deep breath, committing the feeling of your touch to his memory. With a final squeeze of your fingers, he forced himself to back away and open his driver’s side door.

As he climbed into the seat, he pointed at you and said firmly, “You and that baby stay safe while I’m gone, alright?”

You nodded weakly, trailing a hand from the top of your bump to the underside. “We’ll do our best, Daddy,” you promised as he shut his door, the window rolled down.

At that, Travis’s eyes filled with tears – he had known it was only a matter of time until it would hit him, leaving you for the first time for more than a day since you’d found out you were expecting. And seeing you, hand on your belly, standing in the driveway alone as he started his car and prepared to pull away for the better part of a week… yeah, that did it.

He blew out a controlled breath through pursed lips, putting every ounce of his will into putting the car in drive and coasting toward the front gate to leave.

He could see your lower lip quivering even from afar, and it sent a zing of anxiety through his entire being — though he’d never enjoyed saying goodbye, he’d never once felt anxious leaving you for camp. Until today.

“I love you, Mama,” he called out the window, inching slowly toward the gate. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

You nodded. “Okay,” came out in a croak. “I love you, too.”

“Be good,” he forced out.

You nodded again, but didn’t trust your voice to allow you to respond with words. You simply waved one last goodbye as he did the same, forcing a signature Travis Kelce smile and wink while simultaneously trying to keep his shit together in front of you.

But as he passed through the gate and down the drive, watching you shrink into the rearview mirror and finally disappear as he turned toward the freeway, his breath caught in his throat and he broke down, tears blurring his vision as he pressed ahead down the familiar route. For a minute or two, he simply let the sobs wrack his body as he swiped at the ever-flowing tears with the back of his hand, letting out the occasional frustrated growl, usually saved for a missed ball in the end zone. As he attempted to calm himself down, he glanced at the recent calls list on his car’s hands-free device.

And, moments later, in suburban Philadelphia…

Jason hadn’t been off Zoom for more than twenty minutes when his phone rang with a call from his kid brother. Smirking knowingly at the screen, he situated five-month-old baby Bennett in her bouncy seat and tapped the green button.

“Figured I might be hearing from ya,” Jason answered the call.

Sniffling and confused, Travis blinked a few times.

“You did?”

Jason let out a chuckle. “Yeah, you just said goodbye to her and now you’re, what, three miles down the road to camp?”

Travis was quiet and rubbed a heavy hand over his face.

“Five, but… yeah,” Travis mumbled.

Jason hummed as if impressed, gazing at his oldest two daughters who he swore just yesterday could barely hold their own heads up and were now talking animatedly amongst themselves as they dressed and posed Barbie dolls in their prized pink Dreamhouse. “Well, then, you made it two miles further than I did before I called Mom my first training camp when Kylie was pregnant with Wy, so, props.”

“Really?” Travis inquired.

“Hell yeah, dude. It’s the worst fuckin’ feeling,” Jason responded, the sensation still visceral. “Leaving your wife and unborn baby to go live in a dorm with a bunch of sweaty dudes… it goes against every instinct in your body.”

“Yeah, for real… And I used to love camp, too,” Travis sighed. “I just feel so guilty, man.”

“I know. But you’re doing it to provide a sick ass life for her and that baby — you’re making sure they’re set for life,” Jason reminded him. “You just gotta focus on that as best you can.”

The smallest of smiles pulled at Travis’s lips. “That what Mom said to you?”

“Of course — you think I came up with that on my own?”

Travis giggled at that — the way only a big brother could make you do, even in the midst of misery.

“It’s gonna be okay, Trav. I promise you,” Jason told him firmly. “You did the right thing flying her mom in; she knows who to call in the off-chance something does go wrong; and… uh… and she knows she’s got our support because she’s calling Kylie right now,” Jason finished, handing his wife’s phone to her as she approached the coffee table where she’d heard it ringing.

“Is she really?” Travis asked, both relieved and more upset knowing that you, too, were seeking comfort from his brother’s experience with Kylie.

Jason and Kylie shared a sympathetic glance before she answered your call, and as he walked down the hall out of her earshot to allow you both privacy, Jason replied, “Sure is. And as you know, she couldn’t have picked a more perfect person to lean on right now. This isn’t easy by any means, but we’re here for you guys. So are Mom and Dad, Brittany and Pat, so many others. Remember, this is day one — it does get easier from here.”

Travis trilled his lips as he exhaled, his body already relaxing thanks to his brother’s encouraging words.

“As much as I hate to admit it, that’s a great point,” Travis conceded. “Thank you, bro. I appreciate you more than you know.”

“Anytime, Trav. Always in your corner. Love you, brother. I’ll check in when I’m back at camp too.”

“I’ll hold you to it. Love you, Jase. Bye.”

#kissing kelce #travis kelce #jason kelce #travis kelce fic #travis kelce fanfic #travis kelce fanfiction

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makeadealwithme · 1 year

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Not Like This

Summary: Steve's surprised when you try to kiss him at a party, and he scrambles to tell you how he really feels.

Author's note: took some inspo from New Girl (iykyk), slightly angsty with a sweet ending. Can you tell I love friends-to-lovers?

Warnings: cursing, mentions of drinking/party, love confessions. use of y/n, she/her pronouns.

Word Count: ~6.1k Thank you all <3 ___________________________________________________

You and Steve are sitting outside on the curb, a little bit away from the noise and chatter of the party, splitting a cigarette between the two of you with knees pressed against each other. You lean your head onto his shoulder, it feeling too heavy to hold up any longer. "Shit Steve, I don't think this is helping me sober up," you complain, fully aware that you drank a little too much tonight and that it was going to take a lot more than a cigarette to clear your head.

Steve chuckles, shoulder shaking underneath you while he tosses the butt to the side. “Just how many drinks have you had huh?” He pokes an elbow into your side in jest.

“Not as many as you, Harrington.” You retort. You hear him scoff above you.

“Yeah, but you’re a lightweight, so it��s like...double as bad or some shit.”

It was your turn to scoff back. “Hey! You were the one who said a party would cheer me up.” You start doing a mock impression of Steve from earlier - “Come out with me y/n, blow off some steam, it’ll be fun I promise you.”

“Hm, did I say that? Doesn’t sound like me,” he responds sarcastically before taking a breath. “I’m sorry you’ve had such a shit day," he said turning into you a little bit more, temple resting on the top of your head, voice going soft. "Ready to tell me about it?" He knows that now is the right time to ask, when your defenses are down and when your lips are a little loose.

It practically spills out of you as you proceed to tell him about the shitty customers at work, how your coworkers were all out so it was understaffed, how Robin ditched your lunch plans and didn’t answer when you called her, quickly skating over the fact that when you called Steve too it also went to voicemail. You tell him that when you went home, your dinner was cold and half eaten on the counter with a note left by your brother that he was sorry but he was just so hungry and had no time to get his own food and he just couldn't save it for you. To top it off, Jackson Peters rejected you about two hours ago, and proceeded to make out with another girl over on the couch, even though he swore he wanted to take you out next week. You kept rambling, talking about how you felt alone, you felt pretty unloved, and now you were at a party full of people who barely acknowledged you so you decided to drink it away (per Steve’s suggestion, you remind him), which lead to you sitting on the curb outside with him (which you thank him for) and you tell him you'll be over it by tomorrow but if you could both just sit there a little longer that would be much appreciated. Steve stays silent for a moment, unsure if you were finished talking or planning to continue, but once he's sure he wraps his arm around your back, pulling and shifting your body into him, your legs half coming over his, and he just hugs you. You feel his hands glide over your back, warming you gently.

"I'm sorry about today. I'm sorry the party didn't help. I'm sorry I didn't pick up when you called..." he trails off and you feel him take in a deep breath, you do the same, albeit yours a little shakier "I swear I'm always here for you, I want to be, I swear."

"It's ok Steve. You are. It was just a lot today, I’m fine, really," you breathe out, trying to add a little laugh to your voice. He nods and you feel his hands go to rest on your shoulders.

“Ok but seriously, you’re upset about Jackson Peters? Haven’t we been over this before - you could do so much better; you know that right?” Steve’s voice sounds pitched but he follows it with a cheeky grin and laugh that causes your chest to swell.

“Ugh Steve c’mon that’s not true,” you couldn’t stop it from coming out whiny, a small giggle escaping along with it.

“It totally is true! The kid failed his driver's test three times y/n, did you know that?”

“What! No way, Steve, you’re being mean” you tease him.

“I’m just telling the truth y/n! I'm never letting you get you get in car with him.”

“That would’ve been years ago!”

“I don’t even know how you do that, even Max can drive better.”

You turn to look him in the eye, an incredulous look on your face.

“...Three times?”

“Three times.”

You think for a moment, Steve swears he can hear the cogs turning in your head. “Alright... I guess I’m not too upset about that then.”

“That's my girl!” Steve beams. As he says it, he goes to tickle your sides, causing you to squeal and squirm in his arms. Both of you erupt into drunken laughter, so much so your eyes are watering. You mutter 'unbelievable’ to him, with an extra playful hit to Steve’s chest for good measure as you both settle back down. You’re closer than before, almost in his lap, with his head resting on top of yours and arms wrapping around you. The closeness, the warmth, the comfort, is going straight to your head and making it feel fuzzy. You know your inhibitions were lowered, judgement a little off, but you just couldn't help it as you turned your head upward, eyes on his neck. You press a gentle kiss to the bottom of his throat, pausing for a second. He doesn't turn away. It emboldens you as you move higher and press another one to his neck, this time a bit firmer, more noticeable. Feeling courageous, you let your lips trail up to his jaw and you tentatively place one there. You're surprised again when he still doesn't move. You two have never kissed before, not like this, nothing more than a kiss of the cheek goodbye as friends would. You don't dare open your eyes as you bring your hand to the other side of his face, lightly pushing his chin towards you as you kiss along his jaw, nearing so close to his lips. You never look at him but you swear you can hear him sigh a little in your ear, throat swallowing roughly, jaw opening slightly. You shift your body into him as you place a final kiss near the side of his chin before you feel him grip your hips and abruptly push you off him, firm but kind, and he quickly leaps up off the curb. You're struck by surprise, brain still working a little slow and your hands still held like they were on him. However, the realization hits you like a wave as your eyes widen in shock and words start tumbling out of your mouth "oh...fuck, shit, oh my god Steve... I - "

Steve looks just as panicked as you and starts spewing words out at the same time, reaching out to you. "No, no! Oh my god, shit it's fine I'm not upset or anything I just can't, I'm sorry... I just - " you stand up, the humiliation burning, all you want to do is run away from him.

"Steve I'm so sorry I didn't mean to... I just... I just – shit! I'm sorry I'll go, I'll go," you say, pushing past him and walking back towards the house. Steve follows after you for a few steps, his long legs quickly catching up to you as he clutches your arm and turns you to look at him

"No y/n you don't have to go, please. I didn't mean to push you off like that, I liked it – fuck! -I mean, I just meant..."

"No Steve stop. I swear I didn't mean to cross a line."

"N- no you didn't, I want to, I do, just not like this - I won't let it - it can't happen like this." He's weaving around you trying to look you in the eye and make you hear him, but you’re already turned away and wrenching your arm from his grip, rushing to the house to disappear and be swallowed by people. You feel hot in the face as a dose of shame and embarrassment come over your body "god I'm so stupid oh my god" you chant to yourself in your head, how could you let your feelings come to the surface like that? Steve was your best friend, your best fucking friend, and now you've gone and screwed it all up.

As you make your way back into the party you head straight for the drinks, picking up whatever shooter was left over and downing it. You snag a can of beer in your hand too, thinking it might prolong a buzz to stave off the guilt. You quickly glance around the party, looking for Robin or Nancy or anyone else that you knew, but your eyes fixated on the tuft of long brown hair peeking through the crowd frantically making its way closer to you. "Shit" you mutter, you can't face him yet, and you quickly turn and make your way out the back door, through the garden, to the side gate and slipping through before anyone noticed. Your pace is fast as you make your way down the alley, out on to the street and you start in the direction towards your house, knowing you'll have to walk fast if you plan on making it home anytime soon. You're thankful the night wasn't chilly, you're thankful Hawkins was (generally) safe and quiet, and you stuck to the shadows of the main roads hoping that Steve wouldn’t pull up behind you. The entire walk home images flashed in your head of Steve, you felt his warm neck against your lips, his strong hands on your back, the coldness when he separated you. You shudder in shame. You couldn't help but feel some tears prick in your eyes, but you quickly blinked them away. It was frustrating, the way your thoughts seemed to drag through your mind. You settle for woefully drinking the stolen beer as you kept walking home, hoping it would put out the burn in your gut.

It wasn't much later after you got to your house that Steve drove down your street, sober and stressed about you. He spent the whole drive home searching the sidewalks, hoping you weren't still walking, hoping you were safe. He felt so stupid for pushing you off - he admits to himself he almost didn't. Your lips felt like hot fire against his neck, he swore he could still feel the lingering heat. He never expected this from you, thinking you were content with your friendship. So, he never made a move even though he knew he wanted to - he certainly planned it out in his head all the time. He felt like a teenager daydreaming about his first crush. He thought about sweeping you off your feet, some simple but meaningful declaration of love on his lips, he thought about you saying it back too. It didn’t matter where to him - on his front porch, your backyard, the front seat of his car, or on your couch late at night after a movie – it just mattered that it was you and that it was a place you both shared. He certainly didn't envision it happening on curb, you a little too drunk and pissed off after a bad day, and him, not quite with it himself outside of a stranger's house, cigarette smoke on his breath and a waft of some other girl’s perfume on his clothes from earlier in the night. He never saw it like that, and it caught him off guard. The guilt bubbled in him, he never wanted to upset you.

As he neared your house, he peered out his car window and saw the light in your bedroom and the singular shadow moving through the curtain. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, just glad that you made it home ok. He sits for a moment, debating if he should go up to the door. In the midst of his battle, he sees the light flicker off. His lips purse together, slightly cursing himself for being a coward as he starts to quietly roll down your street, time for him to go home as well. I'll talk to her tomorrow, he thinks to himself, he sees you every day anyways.

The next morning.

It's early. Maybe a little too early after last night when Steve rings your doorbell, nervously mussing with his hair. To be honest, he probably should've thought more about what he was going to say but it didn't matter, he just knew he had to see you. Maybe take you out for breakfast and help cure the hangover he was sure you had. He stands there expectantly but his face falls to a frown after about a minute passes, so he rings the doorbell again. He listens intently, not hearing any movement. Checking his watch, he silently curses to himself for being an early riser (he knew you weren't) and waits another minute. There’s a fleeting thought that you might be avoiding him, but he runs it off with the hope that you’re just sleeping. Debating whether to ring the bell one more time, his watch catches his eye again. Maybe he should wait an hour? His brain was having a hard time being logical, only driven by wanting to see you. He stood at your door and convinced himself that maybe breakfast after a night out probably wasn't such a good idea, and that he probably should let you sleep, and that you'll probably come visit him at work later (like you always do) and maybe you two can grab dinner after or something. Yeah, sounds like a plan, he thinks. So, he leaves, drives off, and tries to push out the gnawing feeling in his stomach that something feels off "probably just the hangover” he mutters.

It's the afternoon as Steve and Robin putter about the video store, putting away movies and recounting the stories from last night. "Steve, where were you? I was totally making a fool of myself right in front of Vickie, I told you I couldn't be left alone at parties." Robin groans, sticking her head around one of the shelves she was stacking.

"Uh yeah sorry, must've been outside with y/n, needed to sober up," his apology was flat, his mind still caught somewhere else. Robin stops for a minute, choosing her next words carefully.

"You two were alone?"

“Mhm” Steve nods his head, eyes avoiding Robin’s.

“And...did anything happen?”

"What? No! ...No"

"You sure about that? You’re sounding pretty defensive Stevie"

“Jesus Robs what’s with the interrogation huh?” He turns to fiddle with the stapler at the desk.

“Steve cut it out. You’ve been acting on edge all day, there’s clearly something you’re not telling me.”

Steve breaks. Honestly - he can't hide anything from Robin. He recounts the whole moment, albeit keeping some of the details a little loose, and how he drove around last night for you, and how he stopped by this morning to see you and there was no answer, and finished by pointing out the fact that you would’ve stopped in by this point in the day and you haven’t yet. “Don’t you think that’s weird? Like, she’s definitely avoiding me, right?”

Robin takes a second to internally sort out her feelings. Part of her was exploding, because she’s been rooting for the two of you to get together for what felt like forever, and part of her was restraining herself from smacking Steve upside the head for fumbling so hard. She knew you as well, knew how sensitive you could be and knew that yes, you were definitely avoiding him right now.

“You absolute idiot.” Robin would admit later that no, that probably wasn’t the right choice of words for this exact moment. The smack on the head that she couldn’t stop herself from delivering with it maybe wasn’t the best choice either.

“Seriously?! What did I do to warrant that?” Steve exclaims.

“Steve, she made a move on you. That takes a lot of guts alright? You could’ve at least tried to let her down easier.” Steve’s face contorts in confusion at her words but when he goes to speak Robin cuts him off again, “Plus you’ve literally been crushing on her for forever, I thought you wanted this. I don’t get it!” She doesn’t realize how loud her voice is getting.

“I do Robin! I do! Just not like that, y’know? And I didn’t mean to let her down badly, ok? I didn’t mean to let her down at all. It’s just, well you know how bad I am with words Robin and I was caught off guard. I didn’t think it would happen like that. You get that right?”

“‘Just not like that.’ Since when did you get so precious about how you kissed girls Steve? She was literally right there on top of you... Are you feeling alright?” Robin lurches forward to Steve, trying to feel his forehead in a half joking, half concerned way. He swats her hand down.

Robin takes a step back, shit eating grin on her face. “Dude, you’re like...in deep huh?” Robin's eyebrows are practically in her hairline. Steve thinks she looks far too amused for her own good. He groans in frustration practically collapsing on the counter in front of him. Forehead against the cool surface, he grumbles, “what the hell am I going to do.”

“I don’t know what you’re waiting for Steve. You gotta apologize, and tell her how you feel. In full sentences this time. Don’t let her get the wrong idea again,” Robin tries to soften her tone as best as she could but she’s not sure she achieved it. “Dingus” she mutters as she saunters off to help the customers that walked in. Steve wallows the rest of his shift.

He drives home in a daze after work, his thoughts a jumbled mess and still reeling from his conversation with Robin. He decides not to stop by your house again, being careful not to bother you too much and make things even more awkward, and tried to call instead. He reaches for his phone in the kitchen, dials your number automatically and waits, leaning against his counter. He hears it ring over and over again. No answer. His frown deepens ever so slightly. Maybe he typed the number wrong? So he tries you again with no luck. He feels a slight ache in his chest, some small upset feeling that sure reminds him of being homesick.

Pushing the thoughts aside he tries to keep himself busy for the rest of the night until he sleeps, repeating over and over to himself that you were probably just tired, didn’t want to leave the house today, were working late, hanging with some other friends, something, anything to explain your absence. Steve barely slept that night, hearing phantom phone rings in his sleep. This was weird; even in your worst arguments you would still talk to him, still pick up when he called. Any day you didn’t see each other you would both end up saying goodnight over the phone anyways, and he’s reluctant to admit how much he loved it. He loved hearing you wish him goodnight, soft and sweet; he swore he slept better those nights than any others.

The second day was even worse.

It's nearing the end of another shift at Family Video and you still haven't shown. Steve can't help but let a frown slowly settle into his face with each passing minute. He would feel that gnawing feeling in his stomach creep in, anxiety filling his mind, as he replays the scene over and over again. Steve was restless all shift and it pissed Robin off, watching him pace around the store, tap his foot while waiting behind the desk. He kept looking at the clock and snapping his head every time the door opened.

“Steve cut it out, seriously,” Robin whined at him.

“I can’t Robin, I won’t stop thinking about it. What if she’s really not ok? For Christ’s sake, she won’t even answer the phone.” He’s almost spitting the words at her, sick of having to explain himself over and over.

“Why don’t you try calling her from here? She might pick up since she knows you're at work?” Robin has been trying to help all morning. First it was helping Steve write a speech (before he tore it all up), then it was running him around the store to burn off energy (he was still agitated afterwards), and now Robin seems to have found a suggestion that might actually stick.

Steve mulls it over in his head, “why don’t you call? She might talk to you more than me.” Robin wordlessly picks up the phone and dials as Steve recites your phone number to her. There is a tense few moments, Steve pressed up close to Robin’s face listening for the rings of the phone. After about 4 times through he is about to pull away before he hears a faint ‘hello?’ come from the other end.

“Y/N! Hey, it’s Robin...”

“Hey Robs, what’s going on, thought you were at work?” Steve was practically suffocating Robin at this point to hear your voice. He couldn’t tell how you sounded through the phone. Robin shot him an annoyed glance and tried to take a step back.

“Yeah, yeah I am. Just got bored, was wondering if you wanted to stop by? Haven’t seen you in a few days...” Robin keeps her voice light as she shares a look with Steve, he practically freezes in place, holding his breath so to not make a sound.

“Oh... Right, yeah...” he hears you pause over the line, “listen I'm sorry but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it in... busy today.” You trail off for a second, guilt creeping up in your throat for brushing your friend off. But you knew that if you went to see Robin, you’d also see Steve, and that made your stomach turn with anxiety.

It was at that point that Steve couldn’t contain himself any longer, snatching the phone out of Robin’s hand and turning away from her as she yelped out a short, “Hey! Give that back Steve!”

He presses the phone to his ear, half expecting you to have hung up by now before he gives a breathy “Y/N, hey, it’s me, Steve, can we talk?” The question comes out awkward and he mentally curses at himself. It’s silent on the other end before the line clicks and goes dead. He stares at the phone in surprise. “She - She just hung up on me,” he turns to face Robin again, “didn’t even say a word she just hung up!”

“Ok look,” she grabs Steve by the shoulders, “she’s definitely avoiding you but she didn’t sound too chipper on the phone with me either so like... She's just having a bad day?” Robin really is trying her best to convince him.

“No no this isn’t like her Robin you know that! God, she’s probably so pissed at me. What if we’re not even friends anymore!” Steve is breaking into a full on panic, hands coming up to roughly drag over his face in agony.

“Steve, it’s fine, she’s not just going to stop being friends with you. You just have to talk. She probably thinks that you don’t want to be friends with her anymore. Got it?” Robin starts nodding her head, hoping Steve will mirror her and do the same, making him believe it too. She releases his shoulders, turning to start sorting through the stack of videos piled up on the counter. Steve just stares off into space, mind racing about you.

As soon as the clock hits the hour, he tore out the door, driving straight to your house. He walks a little too hastily to your doorstep, ringing the doorbell rapidly a few times and then knocking the door for good measure. He waited for a minute (ok, 30 seconds) before trying again. He saw the lights on in your house, he knew you were there.

"Hey listen it's just me, are you in there? I really think we should talk, please?" he called out, desperate, nose buried against the door. No answer still. “I’m not leaving until you answer Y/N, please!” He pleads again, waiting. He paces outside for (actually) 5 minutes, before huffing to himself and starting to walk around the side of your house. He knows your house well, from games of hide and seek as kids to sneaking in and out of it when you were teenagers. He also knows that you’re terrible in remembering to lock the back door. He peeks through the front windows, checking for you before opening the side gate and passing through the backyard. With one last look through the back he goes to turn the back door handle, it giving way and popping open immediately. A gratified huff leaves his chest as he sticks his head in the door, eyes searching the kitchen. “Y/N? Are you here? I’m coming in the back door,” he warns, stepping over the threshold. At that moment he hears rapid footsteps over the top floor and descending the stairs.

“Steve! What the hell, you can’t just break in to my house!” You yell at him, feet flying fast across the main floor. Your eyes meet and you stop abruptly, leaving your kitchen island between the two of you. He takes you in for the first time since the party, dressed in comfortable sweats and hair loose and messed from your bed’s pillow. He thought the skin around your eyes looked a little red and raw but he wasn’t sure. He didn’t expect his heart to skip a beat at the sight of you.

“I know I know, but you weren’t answering the door!” He says defensively arms gesturing wildly, “And I’m sick of you avoiding me - and don’t say you aren’t because I know you are.” His voice is more raised than he intended, but he felt like he was bursting at the seams, overwhelmed from not seeing you for days.

“That doesn’t give you a right to break in Steve! I wasn’t answering the door because I don’t want to see you. I thought I was making that pretty clear.” You didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but you still felt awkward around him, the shame causing you to lash out. You were both circling the island as if you were playing a game – him, taking a step closer to you and you taking a step back each time he did.

“Listen, please, I’m sorry about the other night, I’m not mad at you or anything ok...you know I’m not mad right?” it all comes out more stuttered than Steve intended, but he figured if he didn’t start talking the words might never come out. You cut him off quickly, wanting to end whatever conversation he was trying to force.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, seriously. I’m the one who’s sorry ok, I’m so sorry,” you change your direction and start moving towards him, slowly herding him out the kitchen and towards the front door while you keep speaking. “I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know what I was thinking, I think it was just the end of a bad day and you were there and so close and it was so shitty of me Steve.” He sees the tears welling in your eyes and tries to interrupt you but you carry on, “I had a few drinks in me and wasn’t thinking straight. It’s not an excuse it’s just what happened and my head got all confused. Really, I crossed a line and I’m so sorry Steve.” He noticed you reach around him towards the front doorhandle, he almost goes to stop you but couldn’t find the courage to do it. “I’m just not ready to talk about it ok? I need some space, just to sort my head out a bit, figure out if I can keep being friends with you.” It sounded more mournful than you intended, part of you already believing that your friendship has ended. He watches you take a shaky breath and open the door. He tries to fight you, put up some sort of protest, but the tears in your eyes made him weak.

“I didn’t want to upset you,” he gets out as your shaking your head at him, crowding him out the doorway. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, you don’t, I- I just couldn’t, but I do -”

“Please just go, I’ll talk to you when I’m ready, I promise – just need time to think, please don’t call me anymore,” you cut him off, shutting the door on him and pressing your back against it. Steve stands dumbfounded on your porch, staring at your door as if he could burn holes through it. That could not have gone any worse. In defeat, he trudges back to his car, absentmindedly swinging his keys around his fingers. His drive home was quiet, his head in another world still reeling. The loss of his best friend, and a girl he really loved, it weighed heavier on him by the minute.

The days passed and Steve didn’t call. He didn’t drive by your house. He would ask Robin about you at work, knowing that she had hung out with you the night before, asked if you said anything about him. Robin would just shake her head, tell him no and not to worry, you were fine. He hated how he felt. He was moody, off balance, like he was going through withdrawal from you. It agitated Robin too, having to see Steve that way.

It was about a week later when Steve was sat alone at home one night. Rain starting to bucket down, making Hawkins far gloomier than usual. He was eating a poor dinner of cereal and a bag of chips, sitting on the couch and watching a late-night show. He saw the flash of car lights outside his front window before he heard the car pull in, setting his heartbeat a little faster. He makes out the sound of a car door slamming and jumps up from the couch, peeking through the window to see who the late-night visitor could be. He notes your signature yellow raincoat dashing for the cover of his front porch, his eyes going wide as he rushes to open the front door for you.

It catches you off guard, the warm draft of air from his doorway hitting you while the cold drops of rain slide down your jacket hood and on your face. You turn your head up to him, planting yourself a few feet from the door, just far enough to turn around and run back if you decided you couldn’t be brave. You stare at each other for a second before Steve breaks the silence. “What are you doing here? Come inside it’s bucketing out there,” he moves to turn inside, open his doorway to you more but you stay put. He looks back, taking in your face, contorted with uncertainty. Hell, he thought you almost looked nervous. “Y/N? What’s going on?”

You fiddle with your jacket sleeves, dropping your gaze to your feet for second before gaining the courage to look up at him again. “Not like this... that’s what you said,” it was practically a mumble. Steve looks at you in confusion, mouth poised to speak again but you repeat yourself, a little louder, little bit braver. “I remember it. You said, ‘it can’t happen like this’, when I tried kissing you...what did you mean by that?” You’re tense, unblinking, staring him down. It’s like you could see the memory play back in his head, a soft oh leaving his lips. He steps outside, slightly closing the gap between you two, hands in his pockets.

It was his turn to look nervous, pausing to try to get his brain to catch up so he wouldn’t stumble his words again. “I guess I just meant...” he pauses again, taking a frustrated huff at himself, his eyes follow the toe of his sock, tracing in a half circle along the ground.

You stay patient. You knew Steve only struggled with his words when they were important, when they meant something, when he wanted to get them right. In the past week you had been mulling over the night of the party incessantly, berating yourself for every move. But as you uncovered memories of the night you found one that you couldn’t let go, a picture of Steve, bending down to meet you at eye level, a spew of words coming from his mouth but your ears only catching “it can’t happen like this.” The words stayed ringing in your head for days, and you had enough of it. It drove you crazy enough to speed over to his house late at night, in the pouring rain, skipping the courteous welcome and jumping straight to the point – you had to know what he meant by it.

Steve starts speaking again, slow at first, “Y/N, I wasn’t expecting it. We were outside a party, tipsy, on a curb, that rotten cigarette between us. Jesus I think I had just shot gunned two beers before taking you outside...” he looks up at you, sees you open your mouth to speak but he quickly cuts you off, “Would you just listen please? It’s not like those things matter that much, we were having have a fun night and I, I -,” you see him take a step closer to you, another huff of frustration and as he tries to get the words together. “I wanted to kiss you. I couldn’t believe that you were kissing me first. But if I was going to kiss you I sure as shit didn’t want it to be a drunken mess. So that’s what I meant. I couldn’t let our first kiss happen like that. I wanted it to be different, I wanted to tell you how I felt, well feel, first. I wanted that kiss to mean something.”

You stand in shock, head tilted up a little now that Steve had gotten closer. He took in your face, the way your brows were knit in confusion, or was it frustration? Were you just thinking? He couldn’t quite read the expression. But he thought he saw a light click on behind your eyes when it seemed like you caught up to everything he said, a bit of warmth returning to your face as your features relaxed. When you spoke it was soft, gentle.

“So tell me how you feel Steve.”

Steve had a new found confidence, something only you could give him, as he stepped forward, hands coming to yours, one of them going to your waist as he got close to you. “You’re my best friend y/n, and I think I’m love with you. Wait no, I know I’m in love with you,” he pulls you in close by the waist, looking deep into your eyes waiting for a response. You scan his face, looking for any sign of uncertainty but you can’t find it. “Can I kiss you?” he asks, face close, noses almost touching.

You give a slight nod and a breathy “yes” before he crashes his lips on to you. He holds you tight, his wide hand pressing against the small of you back as the other cradles the back of your head. You bend backwards, almost collapsing under the weight of the kiss. Your body felt like hot fire, lips melting into each other. You hear a soft whine come from the back of Steve’s throat, or maybe it was yours, as he pulls you upright again. When you break apart for air, he doesn’t let you go, resting his forehead against yours, breathing in sync with you.

“I meant it should happen something like that.”

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fic #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things #stranger things one shot #stranger things imagine #stranger things fic

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bimobuddy · 1 month

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Light in a Dark Place

SFW Hazbin tickle fic

Ler!Lilith, Lee!Lucifer

note: I've heard that Lilith's horns were just part of her crown and not actually attached, but for this fic, let's pretend they're real

CW: Mention of her horns growing and how painful it was, but nothing major

Summary: Having just been cast out of Heaven, the couple only has each other for comfort. When Lilith discovers that she can pull her favorite sound out of her husband, she jumps at the chance to do so.

Her head was still tender from the sudden growth of horns. She remembered how painful it had been for them to break the skin and grow out of her skull. How Lucifer had held her the entire time, comforting her through it.

And she'd often try to return that feeling to him. She'd started with words, and soft touching, usually just holding his hand or cupping his cheeks. At first she was worried she wasn't doing it right, or that she couldn't give back the same feeling he had given her, but after seeing the lovestruck look in his eye, she figured she was doing okay.

She had a hard time fixing her hair without wincing in pain. Luckily, Lucifer would often do it for her, always careful to avoid touching her horns.

Still new to existence, Lilith was still figuring out what love was, but she had come to realize that when Lucifer was gentle with her, that must have been what it felt like.

Not long after they fell together, Lucifer had created a home for them to live in. It was small for now, but Lucifer loved to go on and on about the future, promising her a big castle to rule in. Speaking of the Devil, he was sat on the floor behind her, trying to brush out his wings, which was rather hard to do by himself, since it was usually a social activity, done by other angels.

Lilith carefully ran her fingers through her hair that her husband had just brushed for her that morning. She turned away from the window and approached him, wordlessly taking the brush from him as she sat down. She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. Lucifer understood what she meant was, 'Here darling, I've got you.'

Lilith had never brushed an angel's wings before. She tilted her head a little and decided to just start at the base, close to where they connected to his back. As the bristles pushed through the soft downy feathers and brushed against the skin underneath, Lucifer jumped, flapping his wings out of reflex, accidentally hitting his wife in the process. Immediately, he folded in all six wings and spun around, gently cupping her face to see if he had hurt her.

"Lilly?"

"I'm alright."

She watched as her angel visibly relaxed, his wings unfolding a little and resting on the floor. "I'm sorry, dear, it was just a reflex. I should have warned you, my wings are really ticklish- My brothers used to have to hold them down so I didn't hit Michael while he preened them."

His already-red cheeks flushed as he said this, and he would have continued to ramble if he hadn't caught the confusion on Lilith's face. "What's ticklish?" She asked.

Lucifer's cheeks seemed to get ever redder. "Well, it's... How do I explain it? Give me your hand, lovely." As she did, he gently traced his fingers up her forearm, looking for any sort of reaction. When she just watched his hand and tilted her head, he wondered if she maybe wasn't ticklish.

"Is it supposed to... buzz?" She asked. Lucifer nodded. "Yes, that's ticklish. However it seems you're not very ticklish here.. Maybe we can test that out later, but for me, it's like that buzzing feeling but.. well a lot more intense."

"Where else does it work?" She asked. Lucifer normally wouldn't have told anyone, but how could he say no to that face? The way she looked at him with so much excitement and love.

"It makes you laugh," she said, "It's a reflex." Lucifer couldn't help but be a little surprised that she learned that so quickly. He nodded. "Yeah." Lilith picked him up and placed him in her lap with a smile (one that flustered the hell out of the angel) and seemed to look him over.

He sighed, blushing. "A-Anywhere, really, just be gehe- gehehehentle!" He started giggling, slapping his hands over his face to 'hide' as she started to trace over his tummy. Her first time exploring this and she somehow already found one of his worse spots.

As Lilith continued to trace circles around his belly, she noticed he had started to softly kick his legs out against the floor, giggling up a storm behind his hands. Curiously, she took ahold of one of his legs and started to squeeze his thigh, getting a loud squeal out of him. "AHA! Lihihilly, plehehease!"

"Does this make you happy?" She asked randomly, gently skittering at the back of his knee. Lucifer blushed hard at this question "Whahahat?" He asked, his giggles getting squeakier. She stopped tickling him and cupped his face, leaning in close.

"Does this make you happy?" She repeated. "When I tickle you, do you like it?"

He felt his whole face go red as he burst into soft, flustered giggles, turning his head so his face was buried into one of her hands. "You cahahan't juhust ahahask thahat!"

Seeing her husband suddenly so shy and giggly got her chuckling as well as she took his hands, leaning their foreheads together. She may have been the more serious of the two, but she loved silly moments like this with her goofy little angel. "Whyhy not?"

"Becahause it's- well it's silly." Lucifer answered, looking away. Lilith gently cupped his cheek and guided his head back to look at her. "You're silly, answering this question should be easy for you."

The king leaned his head into her hand. "...Yes, it does make me happy, especially when it's you." He held his hand over hers and turned his head to kiss her palm. The gesture was so simple, but still got Lilith blushing. She rarely ever got shy or flustered, it just wasn't like her.

She saw Lucifer open his mouth to comment on it, probably to tease her, but she got him first, gently squeezing his hips. He wheezed and bucked, tossing his head back in angelic laughter.

"Lihihihilly! Wahahahahait! Hahahaha!"

He tried to curl up and protect himself, but never pushed her away. Even when she squished up and down his thighs, he couldn't push her away. Instead, he just laid there and cackled.

Lilith smiled and scribbled up his ribs until she gently dug into his underarms, getting him to squeal and arch his back. He clamped his arms down over her hands and giggled frantically, and she just loved it. His laugh was her favorite song.

She was definitely going to do this more often.

#sfw tickling community #tickle community #tickle fic #tickling #hazbin hotel tickle #hazbin tickles #lee!lucifer #ler!lilith

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imraespace · 4 months

Text

CHAPTER 01: STARTING OVER

JUST THE WAY THINGS GO || MEGUMI X READER

Two years into the future, your family decided to send you back to your home country. Though it was just yourself who went back. Your family stayed because their found job opportunities there but sent you back because they rather your old school over the new one.

You wasn't bothered by these new news and as a plus, you get to meet a favorite family member of yours.

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As you walked out the airport, the morning sun rested itself on your face. It blinded you but your smile grew as your eyes slightly made out the figure of your aunt.

"Aunt shoko!" You slightly yelled as the woman turned in your direction with a small smile on her face.

Shoko Ieiri wasn't a close relative as in she wasn't your mother's sibling or father's, but she's still apart of the family on your mother's side.

Still, your mother and Shoko was very much close during their teen years both just the same, they even quit the smoking at the same time, promising each other to never do it again.

The large gap between you both closed as she pulled you in for a hug, placing her hand on your head.

"I haven't seen you or your mom in so long, I think she forgot about me." She mumbled.

"I literally hear you both on the phone almost every morning, you're not fooling me." You looked up at her.

Her smile grew even larger as her hand left your head and began walking to her car, gesturing you to follow behind.

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You both got into the car, you admiring everything your eyes landed on. Remembering what you saw, surprising yourself with the new.

But when the car stopped, the building infront of you was not her apartment, it was:

"The school?" You asked her.

"Yep, I work here as the school's nurse and I asked for permission to show you around, there's new things here." She replied, turning off the car as she turned to face you.

Your eyes shifted from the building to her's.

"That's accident was literally long ago so.." She said, gradually getting softer.

"Yeah I know, let's go."

The school didn't bother you, what did was the student's opinion on you. Some may have left but there are still those who was there, some at the scene and some who was hurt by it.

Though the thought of students reminded you of something.

The notification on your phone continued to fill as you ignored it, entering the school with your aunt infront of you.

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inumaki: is she stupid or something I thought she said she would've texted us when she got here

maki: maybe she didn't come as yet

inumaki: SHE NEEDS TO HURRY

yuuta: stop blowing up the gc

inumaki: no.

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As your entered the building, a lot did changed. The inside had alot more added to it, more posters neatly on the wall, more plants.

The walk continued until you had reached the nurse's office.

"This is where I usually be, you can check me anytime you want during your breaks, just don't get caught." She explained, opening the door and revealed two males inside.

"YOU GOT HER FINALLY!" A certain white haired man said.

He walked up to you and held out his hand infront of you. You accepted it as he began shaking your hand.

"Hello, welcome to the school, I'm the best teacher here, Mr. Gojo though everyone calls me Satoru.. anyways come by me if you have any troubles!" He kept on rambling with a big smile on his face, you returned the smile but you kinda zoned out on whatever he was saying.

"First of all, I'm her homeroom teacher and secondly she already attended this school so you should've told her welcome back.." The man with a bun spoke up, walking up to your view.

He slightly pushed Gojo away as he stood infront of you with a smile.

"I'm your homeroom teacher, Suguru Geto, unlike Satoru, my students calls me Mr.Geto. It's nice to meet you." He told you, shaking your hand as he glanced at Gojo then back at you with a smile.

"It's really nice to meet both of you, actually I kinda already knew about you both from my mom calls with aunt Shoko, you're her friends.."

They both nodded at your words then looked at your aunt.

"Okay, introductions are over. Y/N, Suguru is going go show you to your homeroom class then we can go home." Shoko told you as she walked towards her desk, pulled out her phone and waved at you.

Geto began walking as you followed behind, waving goodbye to both Gojo and Shoko.

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You learned that your new class is on the second floor. You both entered the classroom and he told you where your seat is.

"Oh by the way, is there anyone you know who still attends?" Geto spoke up.

"Oh, yeah my friend group still attends this school and we still talk, actually I was supposed to text them earlier.." You replied.

"And they are..?"

You listed out their names and his eyes grew a bit.

"That's funny, your seat is in the middle of both Maki and Inumaki, Yuuta's is in the same row, he's next to Inumaki." He told you.

You sighed, imagining sitting next to Inumaki during school hours.

"Shoko told me about what had happened back then, if there's anyone trying to cause problems for you, you can tell me or even Shoko so don't hide anything." He ended.

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Your trip to the school ended as both you and your aunt made it to her apartment, sun setting as she drove up in the parking place.

"So, are you excited to start over?" She asked.

"Kinda..?"

She laughed.

The day ended with you both unpacking your stuff, you packing your school bag and finally saying good night to each other as the moon arrived high in the sky.

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MASTERLIST | <-PREVIOUS // NEXT->

TAGLIST: @deezy12299 @polarbvnny @fxriixq @mentallyunstablemanlover @baku-boneless @evinvevin @zhochikennugget @saesofficialwife @k1y0yo (OPEN)

(if not tagged, your profile didn't show up. sadly☹️)

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note: I just realized this story is gonna be more writing and less texting... more work for me ig🙄🙄

but next chapter is gonna be texting!

#imraeswork #imraespace -♡#crack #jjk #angst #fluff #jjk megumi #jujutsu megumi #megumi x reader #jujutsu kaisen megumi #megumi fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen #megumi #jjk fushiguro

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oddballwriter · 7 months

Text

"So I Went Out with This Guy"

Summary: You and Steven met on a dating app and went out on a date. It seemed nice by Steven is having doubts on if he did good or not after getting back home. It's by chance that he just happens to get his answer to his concerns placed at his lap.

Warnings: It's mentioned that reader thought that Steven was going to ask to hook up, but that doesn't happen. Steven being a nervous man. Marc and Jake are there but they are honesty acting more as Steven's thoughts and play as no actual role in this. The reader is meant to be gender neutral, no mention of gender and pronouns used for them is they/them.

Author’s Snip: This was inspired off of my scrolling through my insta reels and coming across a video of a girl talking about a date she just had.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy!

"I'm not sure how well that went." Steven muttered to himself after walking through his flat's door and locking it behind him. "What's the matter? Didn't you say they were attractive?" Marc asked from the fold-in mirror. "They are. But- I don't know, I feel like the ending was a bit off." Steven explained as he walked over to the mirror to ponder with his headmate better, pausing for a moment at the last word to find the right word to use.

"Was it weird for me to ask them to come to my place on the first date? It sounded better when I thought about it. They said they admired my interests. I figured that it would be nice to have them come and see all my things." Steven anxiously rambled. "It was kind of forward." Marc admitted.

"Maybe they thought something was going to go on." Jake budded in in the reflection of the other side mirror. "What do you mean 'something'? We talked about my interests. That's something, isn't it?" Steven questioned. "No, no. You know, like, something was going to go on here." Jake hinted more clearly. Steven scoffed at the idea.

"Oh, Jake! Get your mind out of the gutter, will you? I would never do that! I wouldn't be such a brute that I'd try and have sex with someone on the first date!" Steven scolded. "Listen, I'm not saying that you would. But the dating scene isn't as great as you might be. Maybe they've seen enough first dates that that's something they expected you to ask for." Jake defended, "Maybe they were just waiting for the ball to drop.".

"Maybe..." Steven pondered. "Should I text them that I'm sorry if I made them uncomfortable?" he asked. "No. No, Steven. That would make it weirder." Marc suggested, "I mean what are you even going to say? "Sorry I didn't ask to have sex with you"? That sounds weird and out of no where." Marc questioned, bringing up a good point.

Steven sighed. He knew that the first date always felt off every once in a while. But he wasn't used to actually getting to have a first date so he just did what he knew and thought was good. And maybe it wasn't that bad to have you over and see his place since you had an interest in hearing about his hobbies and interests in Egyptian mythology. In all honesty, he liked you. He thought you were lovely and had a great personality, and would like to see you more. But that was him. For all he knew you could have decided that he just wasn't it for you.

It was a lot later in the night. Steven was on his phone scrolling through his only social media feed, which he only had because he wanted to see dumb memes and posts about his little interests. But at some point he came across a video.

It was a post you had made a few hours ago in which you were talking while doing what must have been your nightly routine before bed, starting right off the bat saying "So I went out with this guy," and continued from there.

"We matched on a dating app and had talked for a bit before setting up the actual date. I did see his whole profile for a bit when he came up and he seemed like a really cute guy, but I didn't really know anything more about him than what was there. We just messaged hi to each other and then I asked him when he was free." you explained. "So, we went to this cute little vegan place, cause he was vegan, and it was... nice." you say, with a pause between your last words. "Okay, that sounded like it wasn't. It was. It was really nice. The food was good. He was really sweet. But he was nervous, I could tell, even though he was trying not to be. He mentioned that he didn't go on dates a lot so maybe that's why." you clarify. "He was super sweet, though. He pulled out the chair for me and complimented me. Which I know is the bare minimum, but there was something about it that just..." you remark, doing a little fluttering gesture with your fingers where your stomach was.

"So while we, of course, talked while waiting for the waiter to come, wait for our food, and while having dinner about our hobbies and what we did. And we got on the topics of interests and I tell him mine. But, guys," you spoke before continuing.

"Okay so I asked him about any of his interests and he kind of goes on a tangent about his love for Egyptology and Egyptian mythos. And, listen, when a man starts going on a tangent and takes up most of the date time talking about said thing, I usually just nod along and hope that they stop and move on. But with him I actually listened because he just sounded so enthusiastic about it instead of the whole bragging attitude that most guys have." you explain. "But no. he was actually a really good talker with it and only really changed the subject when the waiter came back with our food and he decided to change the subject to something else since he'd been talking for a while." you praise.

You go on for a bit, just describing the whole date with little intervals where you would make a comment or remark. It felt a bit strange just seeing you talk about the date you were just on with him since you were sort of airing out what you thought and felt. Not really nitpicking. It seemed my like you were recording and posting just to be able to talk about it as you do all your routine.

"Now, you guys might judge me for this because I've mentioned before that I don't do hook ups on first dates. But at one point when we're waiting for the waiter to come back after we've paid the bill he asks, kind of out of no where, if I want to go to his place to see his collection of Egyptology stuff. Now, he didn't imply anything but I've had enough first dates with a handful of guys to know that when they ask you to come to their place, it's usually because they want some." you explain. "And I thought to myself, in that moment, am I down for it if it leads to that? And the answer was sure, if he wanted to." you defend.

So there was the answer. You were expecting him to try his cards at getting lucky tonight. But it did relieve him that you didn't actually feel pressured into doing it if he had and had come to the decision on your own consent beforehand.

"But no. He was nice and gentlemanly. He made me a cup of tea which was really sweet of him. And then after a while I left, and he actually waited outside with me for my ride, which, again, very gentlemanly of him. So..." you continue.

"I might text him and ask if he'd like to have a second date." you conclude.

"Let's go, hermano! You're all cleared for a second date!" Jake cheered in the back of their collective head. "Oh, thank goodness." Steven sighed in relief, "I thought I weirded them out too much." he commented.

"The only actual weird thing that happened," you voice in the video breaks through, causing everyone to stop their excitement. "...Was that when I ordered lentil soup as an appetizer for myself and my actual meal, he gave me this weird glance but stopped a literal second after he did it." you finish.

"I don't know what he has against bean soups but I guess if me and him become a thing I'll figure that out."

#moon knight #moonknight #moonknight x reader #moon knight x reader #steven grant x reader #steven grant

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movedtolilmouzee · 1 year

Text

𝔏𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔞𝔱 𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔨𝔰...

𝘚𝘰𝘧𝘵 𝘎𝘰𝘫𝘰, 𝘛𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘺, 𝘛𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺, 𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘎𝘰𝘫𝘰 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘥𝘢𝘥.

(Zee's note- Hi my loves, this was originally going to be a smut story but I've been a little depressed recently so I decided to write some fluff to try and cheer myself up. ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1K, I LITERALLY NEVER THOUGHT ID EVEN PASS 100. I hope I can continue to grow and make more friends along the way, i love you all. 💕)

The sound of running water hitting the bottom of the sink, Plates clinking together as you stacked them, a tired sigh escaping your lips caught gojos attention once he walked in from the front door returning from another long day. Normally gojo would immediately be all over you, teasing and kissing you but seeing you so tired made gojo feel almost sympathetic for how late you'd stay awake just to see him.

Gojos arms quickly find their way wrapped around your waist, gojos head resting on the top of your head. "I'm not doing anything, I just wanna see what your doing" he whispered gently rocking you from side to side, "I've been thinking a lot recently, nothing bad. About me and you, our future, us starting a family" gojo hummed, his eyes closed arms pulling you closer to chest "Everytime I see you babysitting it makes me think about you with our baby. How much of a good mom you'd be to them."

"We've been talking about it for awhile now, you'd be such a good mama. I just know you would be such a good mom, I notice how excited you get when seeing those cute baby clothes." Gojo was honestly just rambling on at this point, not sure if you were paying any mind to him but he didn't care, imagining your belly get bigger each week had gojo in a choke hold.

"I think it'd be so cute seeing a miniature you or me running around, maybe both. I'd love to know what their first word will be, when they learn to walk and talk. Maybe they'll have my eyes and your sassy attitude." Gojo continued with his rambles, so lost in his own imagination he could vision what your child would look like.

"I know it's scary to think about. All the things that could go wrong, everything that could happen to you and our child but I'd be here every step of the way. Always by your side, holding your hand, kissing kissing cheek, holding you in my arms, laughing and even crying with you. I'll take care of you, no matter what"

#mouzees corner #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu gojo #jjk gojo #gojo fluff #gojo comfort #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo x female reader #gojo x you #gojo imagine #gojo headcanons #gojo imagines #gojo scenario

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satelitis · 1 month

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꒰ CAN'T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY ꒱ . . . f reed !

pairing(s) : fulton reed x fem!portman!reader (romantic) , dean portman x sister! reader (platonic)

in which before the game against varsity, the portman siblings have a surprise up their sleeves.

requested : yes or no.

!! content warnings : fluff, yelling, swearing

robin chirps : erm so im out of my writing slump and ziggy and i nonstop talk about tmd and our boyfriends, so i decided to surprise her since she kinda got me out of my writing slumps and introduced me to my bf charlie and one of the most amazing movies of all time <3 ily zigma!! [@spaceagebachelormann]

"your'e playing hard, i'm proud of you guys." coach orion reassured as he patted russ on the shoulder.

"they're cheap shotting us to death!" luis groaned.

"i know they are, i know they are." orion sympathized.

"It's gonna take a miracle for us to hold on." averman replied. little did the ducks know that "miracle" would be a little more unexpected then they thought.

suddenly, the door burst open revealing a tall brunette with a bandana around his head. dean portman.

"dean portman is awarded a full athletic and academic scholarship to the eden hall academy," dean read off his maroon folder. "i found this lying around at home in chicago, my attorny thought i should sign it, and i agreed." he continued. "it's offical boys, im back!" he exclaimed as all the ducks cheered, especially fulton. his heart broke the day that his best friend dean, and the love of his life, y/n had to go back to chicago. he was ecstatic at the sudden appearance of his fellow bash brother. but if dean was here...then where was y/n?

"hey you ass, where'd you go?" a voice spoke in the doorway. fulton could recognize that voice from anywhere. y/n. the voice was further identified when she herself wandered into the room. fulton was beyond shocked, jovial and he felt that he might have a heart attack because of how much was happening. in no time at all, y/n was in fultons arms their lips interlocked.

"did you miss me?" y/n teased, as fulton rolled his eyes, kissing her once again. dean looked partially disgusted.

"what the hell. why didn't i get one?" dean joked, activly trying to piss y/n off. the girl gave her brother the bird as the ducks laughed and watched the cute reunion. russ and averman made jokes in the background and snickered.

"oh, fulton! i missed you so much mwah mwah mwah." averman said in a feminine high pitched voice, as he faked kissing noises. russ continued with the bit presumably as fulton.

"i missed you too, babe." he said also mimicking kissing sounds. the ducks snickered. fulton proceeded to threaten the two.

"will you shut the hell up before i give you pucks for teeth?" he said. averman and russ laughed, as they stopped the bit. fulton turned his attention back to y/n now answering her question. '

"of course i missed you, you were gone for like ever." he exaggerated. but that's what it felt like for the couple.

"the phone calls weren't the same." he frowned softly.

"yeah, 'specially WHEN DEANS BREATHING ON THE OTHER LINE." y/n raises her voice as she turns back to dean.

"why didn't you call me and tell me you were coming?" he asked her,

"cause this was way more fun." she replied, a goofy grin on their faces. "you can't get rid of me that easily." she said.

'i'd hate to intrude on your little love fest but we got a bunch of temperamental man children's asses to kick." russ chimed in.

the ducks all cheered as they made their way on the ice.

"is that dean portman?" the teenage announcer asked. the crowd was in unbelief, "oh and his sister, y/n! they're both back!" he exclaimed.

"who are those kids? they cant play!" tom exclaimed. "they're on scholarship tom, my hands are tied." dean buckley replied.

"so you're the big enforcer, huh? well its nice to meet you, see, we have a lot more in common then you think-" dean rambled.

"shut up." the warrior spat, "lets play hockey," he said.

"whatever you say sunshine," dean shrugged, the game continued as dean ended up making cole go through the glass, shattering it.

dean and fulton cheered as they banged their heads together. "the bash brothers are back and they're here to stay and so is "y/n "the firecracker" portman, as she scores goal one for the ducks!" the announcer called out and boy was fulton beyond happy with it.

#quill to paper (rowan's version)#fulton reed #fulton reed x reader #the mighty ducks #the mighty ducks x reader #d1 #d2 #d3 #fulton reed x fem reader #fulton reed x yn

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adhdduckie · 10 months

Text

deja vu? (m.m x fem!spider-reader)

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idea : miles morales (earth 1610) x fem!reader who's a spider-woman from another earth variant, that has this crazy american-british accent for some ridiculous reason, she works with the spider-society with Miguel and the other spiders, but she disagrees with Miguel's views and does her best to help miles, tripping into love with him.

follows most of the movie's plot, but doesn't follow into earth 42

music choice : it's hard to explain

masterlist : adhdduckie (my request are open!)

warnings ; a lot (like a lot ) of swearing cuz yk british ppl, mb a lil violent?

omg i couldn't find the script anywhere so this is from the best of my knowledge sorry guys. also any spanish is from google translate, pls tell me if i did anything wrong so i can fix it, thanks.

4.4k words

hope you enjoy!

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it was your typical tuesday night. Dimension hopping with your dear friend gwen stacy while she searched for anomalies. I mean, technically you were supposed to be searching for anomalies too, but you were just vibing.

when you popped up into earth variant 1610, you lost gwen immediately, searching for her frantically around this, this place that looks so familiar to your home, but so different. She wasn't picking up on her watch, and so you just decided to use your abilities on her, even though she hates it.

you pop into this teenage boys room, a little disoriented from the jump across a small dimension aka. teleporting, you heard voices. You look up, seeing Gwen and some guy, just kind of staring at each other while gwen sits on the windowsill.

"yo gwen! you gotta stop dropping out on me mate, this is bloody ridiculous, you dropped me off in this shitty-" You yell from behind the guy, being interrupted when he he jumps and turns around and your brain does that weird spidey thing when you meet another spider-guy, but then there’s this little overlaying feeling of deja vu, like you’ve met him before.

you stop. squint your eyes at the guy who's standing in front of you. you look back at gwen and ask :"who's this fucker?"

his response is immediate :"did she just call me a fucker?"

Gwen laughs and responds to the guy: "it's the way people from her world talk, it's alright, she doesn't really mean it offensively. miles, this is y/n. She's a spider-woman from earth 617."

"617??? there are 617 EARTH VARIANTS????" he exclaims

"guys? can we not talk about me like i'm not here? wait wait wait, this is miles?? the guy you're not supposed to come-" you say, before gwen slaps her hand over your face. you continue to mumble into her hand. before you teleport to beside miles.

"woah!" He says, leaning away from where you've popped up. "shit, you can teleport?"

"sort of," you respond, before staring at him more intently. 'he's cute.' you think. you continue speaking. "it's more of something like my particles shift. not the point, moving on. what are you doing gwen? we need to go." the last part you say to gwen, but you finally look around the room.

"hey, this is cute" you say, referring to all the stuff inside of the room.

"don't touch that!" miles yells. you throw him a look that says chill.

"are you ready to go?" gwen asks, miles cringes and says

'i'm.... grounded?"

"bummer" she says dryly. "Is spider-man grounded?" gwen asks, while you kind of awkwardly stand there like what the honest fuck is going on

Your watch goes

off, an alarm you've set for yourself. "ah shit, i've gotta run, gotta do my bloody chemistry homework. I told jessica that i'm busy on tuesdays, but nooo, she said i had to stay to fucking watch you, gwen. I'm literally younger than you!! you don't need me so i'm out, cya loves." You ramble, blowing a kiss towards gwen, wave to miles, and you bloop out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple of what feels like days later, but can only be hours later, gwen, miles and you are on the roof of miles’ apartment, hanging out and talking, to be honest more like them talking and you just interjecting once in awhile. You don’t mind because it allows you to get a proper look at Miles.

You watch the way he moves his hands as he talks, the way he smiles when gwen says something he likes to hear. the way his shoulders shake when he laughs. It’s nice to see a spider-guy that’s close to your age that isn’t totally depressed.

gwen, you and miles are gathered together talking about the bracelet you guys use to stop glitching. Things start to get tense when miles asks to get to know miguel o’hara. “there aren’t a lot of slots.” gwen says, speaking of the spider-society, and you cringe at the lie she’s just told. You watch miles’ smile fade away slowly and things start to get awkward.

'ah, right.” miles responds with.

“look, if it was up to me, you-“ gwen starts, being interrupted by miles’s

“uhuh, i know.” he says, absent-mindedly as he fiddles with the watch. you throw a glare over his shoulder to gwen, mad that she’s lied to this poor boy. You know that miguel doesn’t want him, but you don’t know why, having skipped that briefing for an ice cream or something.

just in time you look back to miles pressing a couple of buttons, and gwen panics going “ohnonono, don’t do that.”

“it’s really delicate.” gwen lies. things get awkward and quiet and just as miles apologises, his mother pops up from behind, scaring you, even with your spider senses.

“hi, Mrs. Morales.” you say immediately, proceeding to introduce yourself. wishing to get out of the awkward scenario with gwen and miles. she looks over at you approvingly, and gwen goes. “hiii, rio, i’ve heard so much about you.” miles’ mom looks disapprovingly at gwen, probably for using her first name the first time they met.

just as Mrs. Morales hands gwen her sweater back, Mr. Morales, walks up. You introduce yourself again to him, also referring to him as Lieutenant Morales. They both look at you approvingly while ignoring gwen.

“it’s lovely to meet you both, as gwen said, Miles has spoken of you both very highly.” you say, wanting to move on, the tension in the air seemingly dissipating.

Miles introduces you both as friends from school, and just then, you get a call, your watch beeping with a timer. “oh, i’m so sorry to interrupt, but i need to go, i promised my parents i’d watch a movie with them tonight. It has been so lovely meeting you, and the food was delicious, thank you for allowing me to stay here for awhile while you guys celebrated.” you say, ready to leave, but before you do, you shake both of Miles’ parents hands, throw gwen a 'i’m going to talk to you later' glare, and wave goodbye to miles, your heart pangs at the idea of not being able to see him for awhile

just as you walk away from the brownstone, you can hear gwen’s watch beeping and her lame excuse to why she needs to leave. You roll your eyes, strangely protective of the guy you met a couple of days ago.

'it feels longer than that.' the internal voice says. The sense that instantly recognised him seemed to tingle again. 'you’ve met him before' it seems to say. No, you couldn’t have. you would have recognised him immediately, after all, who will forget Miles morales?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the next time you see gwen and miles is quite a couple of hours later. You need to speak to gwen about some paperwork, because yes, miguel o'fucking-hara makes teens that are hardwired to be on the move constantly, do goddamn paper work. You needed to clear something up so you bleeped into existence while gwen stands at the destroyed lab, on a call with jessica.

"hey gwen." you pop up. She doesn't react because you do this to her all the time, but she doesn't turn around. "what's up?" she asks. before you answer, you pause, the hairs on the back of your neck raise up. It feels as if someone’s watching you, and you turn around. There's no one there but if you squint your eyes hard enough, you can make out miles hanging onto the ceiling, some sort of invisibility thing turned on.

'okay,' you think 'totally not weird at all.' you don't say anything because there must be a reason he's hiding.

"fucking miguel, i told him not to bother me while i was doing my goddamn school shit. you know i was in the middle of a goddamn lesson? I mean i hate that class, but it's like the sixth time i've had to dip." you complain, wishing to hide miles from her, feeling oddly protective of miles.

gwen just stares at you blankly and you move on, undeterred. "i'm just here cuz i needed paper work stuff, but you seem to be doing something interesting so i might as well stay." Gwen just shrugs, and goes back to jessica, who's at the moment, getting mad at gwen for visiting miles.

you look back up at him and you cringe, hating how he's hearing this. miles' eyes widen when he notices that you can see him and you can see him staring at you in confusion. You pull off your mask because let's be honest that shit is suffocating, and shrug, making a fang motion, trying to communicate how it’s probably from the spider that bit you.

you look away from miles just in time to see gwen opening up another portal to go to mumbattan. gwen walks in and you follow, making a 'come here' motion with your finger toward miles, getting him to follow even though you know you're most definitely gonna get in trouble for this later.

you're mumbling under your breath about how you should be getting paid for this when you start swinging through mumbattan chasing after spot. Miles is struggling but you can't help but let out a small giggle, and he seems to smile at you from under the mask. You don't bother putting your mask back on, because it's not like you're from this dimension.

anyway, you’re swinging through mumbattan before you realise miles got lost, and when spot appears, miles does too yelling about how he’s here to help

you don’t look surprised in the slightest and you only yell “did you get lost?” and he responds with a sheepish grin, and gwen shoots you a dirty look

“You knew he was following us???” She asks, irritated and angry

“yeah, he wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding it. But what’s wrong? i think he’s chill. i wanna hang out with him more.” you respond quickly, eager to defend miles even though you know gwen doesn’t mean it offensively.

At this moment, Pavitr Prabhakar pops in, knocking spot in the face with one of his gold bangles, yelling out your name excitedly, and then gwen’s, following up with “hey! who’s the new guy?” towards miles. You smile excitedly and happily at pav, this man is the vibe. “hey pav! this is miles, and he wasn’t invited” gwen responds with.

Pav laughs “you weren’t invited and you came anyway?” gwen responds with “right?”

pav says “new guy must be in love with you” and you kind of just awkwardly stare at Pav while this happens, and he goes on about how he’s excellent at reading people, and he goes into his introduction before miles interrupts with “i love chai tea!” and you see a vein tick in pav’s forehead.

“oh, dear. you shouldn’t have-“ you start, miles looks at you confused and then pav goes on a tangent about how chai means tea and that chai tea is like saying tea tea like asking for coffee coffee with room for cream cream.

before he gives a quick tour of mumbattan, ending with “and this is where the british stole all of our stuff!”

you cringe and say “sorry about that” and he shrugs and says it doesn’t matter since it wasn’t you, but he would love it if you could convince your government to give back all the shit they stole and you stand there like i am a masked vigilante they are not going to listen to me, but you just nod and move on.

things move on quickly, hobie pops up and you high-five him, and he throws an arm around you. You usually get along with him like a house on fire. miles looks at him slightly aggravated, probably from the fact that pav made it seem like hobie and gwen were a thing. "don't worry, you whisper over at him, they're not a thing." he looks at you confused, and you pause.

you set yourself a mental reminder to ask miles later if he too, felt a sort of deja vu when he first met you. things get really chaotic quickly, after that. Mumbattan has a massive black hole sort of thing show up and everything goes to crap. Miles gets summoned to HQ and you know shit’s about to go down.

you pull him to the side, and you whisper in his ear. “i’m here to help you. Shit seems suspicious mate, but i’ll help you if anything goes wrong.” he looks at you confused but nods and gives you a slightly out of breath 'thanks’

and guess what? you must be a fucking psychic. Shit does go wrong. Miles finds out the gwen lied to him, and you learn some new things too, like the police captains dying and the canon events. You just kind of followed things, but as soon as things felt a little off to you you dipped.

Miles and you just got back to his dimension, popping into his room. you’re both sweaty and injured, sitting there on his floor, you stare intensely at the watch. and you decide, for everything that’s happened, you’re gonna stay to help miles try to protect his father.

so, you break the bracelet. this way, they won’t be able to find you, and it shows that you are no longer going to work with them.

Miles watches you and gives you a ridiculously tired smile.

“thanks,” he whispers. “i’m not happy that you didn’t tell me that i couldn’t join because miguel didn’t want me to, but thanks for standing with me.”

“it’s no problem. I’m sorry i didn’t tell you. I didn’t know why gwen wouldn’t tell you but i didn’t want to make her angry.” you whisper back.

“miles?” you ask, after a silence follows. he hums in response. “are you going to tell your parents now?” he looks up, and nods. he stands up, pulling on his jacket, trying to hide most of his cuts and injuries.

he opens the door of his bedroom, ready to walk out. he looks back at you and you know what he’s asking. you get ready to stand up, taking his hand when he offers it to you. you want to be able to give him support, since this is a instrumental decision. His hand is warm and large around yours, and it just seems so right.

you both walk out together, hand in hand, blood crusting at your lips from when you were thrown against the train, by miguel.

Rio drops her laundry basket at the sight of you both, fussing greatly over Miles, while you stand behind him. she pauses, noticing your intertwined hands, but doesn’t comment on it, thankfully. You feel your face getting warm, but you know this isn’t the time for it.

“Mrs Morales,” you start, “do you have a first aid box?” at your words, she rushes towards the bathroom, and soon she emerges with the solid plastic white box with the red cross.

“ayy miles, ¿qué te pasó?” she says speaking in rapid fire Spanish.

“madre,” he responds, “is dad home? i need to speak to you both. y/n is here to help me, and she is also involved in this.” His mother looks at you suspiciously, but nods her head and goes to retrieve Miles’ father, walking through the front door, and soon you hear the brownstone’s door close.

you take the first aid box, and open it, making sure to access miles’ injuries before turning to your own. you’ve just wrapped up a cut on his hand when you notice a cut on his upper lip. Knowing that he probably still hasn’t noticed it, because he is anxious about speaking to his parents about being spider-man, you decide to help him clean it up.

You inspect it properly and notice he’s busted his lip, and you grab a cotton ball and gently douse it in disinfectant, you rub it gently across his lip, while he is seated at the table, chair facing you while you do this. He’s watching you intently, and you can feel heat rushing to your face, but you continue on.

“sit still, please.” You tell him when he starts to move around from the stinging feeling of you stitching his lip back up. He stills for you, and you smile.

“thanks.” you say softly. finishing up quickly, before assessing your own wounds. nothing too bad, and just as you pick up another cotton swab for your own bloody lip, miles gently takes it from you, and he motions for you to sit down.

“i can help you, you helped me after all.” he says, softly. you let him do it, and when you sit there, your heart is thumping in your chest. He's staring very intensely at your lips, extremely focused on cleaning up the blood. You look down at your own suit, seeing how it's ripped, the spider logo shining under the living room lighting.

the front door opens, and his parents both rush in. His father stops when he sees what you are wearing, his brain ticking slowly. Miles cleans off the last bit of blood off your face, and turns to his father.

"i need to speak to you" he says to his father. "i've been pushing this off for a really long time and i really wish i could've told you but we've had a lot of issues recently, and y/n has helped me realise i should tell you no matter what, because trust matters."

"i am, this dimension's spider-man." he finishes quickly. prepared for his parents outburst. "i have been for the last year. it is a dangerous job, but i am doing my best to protect everyone here. I hope you understand." he looks back at you, like just you being there is getting him through this. you smile encouragingly at him.

"oh miles, nunca podremos estar enojados contigo por mucho tiempo, mientras estés a salvo, eso es todo lo que importa." his mother says to him, and he visually brightens right in front of you. His mother swoops in for a hug, and he holds on to her tightly.

"wait, what do you mean by "this dimension"?" his father asks, ever the radical thinker.

"so, we live in a universe with parallel dimensions. There are many mirror dimensions to this one with the same people. every one of the universes has a spider man. I'm this one's. Y/n is one from earth- variant 1610."

His parents understand, and that makes you feel happy for him. You continue to begin assessing your injuries while they talk, but you're interrupted by miles.

"here, let me do that for you." he says, his parents watching the interaction. his dad throws his hands exasperatedly in the air, his mom watches with an amused expression.

"y/n?" his dad asks. "yeah?" you reply. "if you aren't from this dimension, how are you going to get back?"

"oh. my spider-powers are different from miles's. I can swing and i have most spider tendencies, but the spider i was bit by was experimented on, and because of that, i can teleport." you say. kind of just shrugging. Miles hits you gently on the shoulder for moving while he's wrapping up your shoulder that is just now hurting, most likely because the adrenaline is wearing off.

"i'm all out of energy, so i'm gonna need to find a place to crash for a couple of days before my powers regenerate."

"stay here." miles says, without thinking. "oh, no i can't do that." you respond immediately. You look back at miles and notice his ears reddening.

"no, we insist. You've taken good care of our miles." his parents say.

"i don't want to be a burden." you reply

"no, it's alright. we'll be happy to have you." they insist

"thank you, Captain Morales and Mrs morales." you cave in. It's probably easier this way, you don't have to search for somewhere to stay. They insist you call them by their names, and you smile at them, thankful that they're so welcoming. they both go sit on the couch to watch some tv after ensuring that miles has no more injuries that you haven't taken care of.

Miles finishes wrapping up your shoulder and steps back to admire his handiwork. "thanks," You mutter, softly. "do you have a change of clothes?" you ask gesturing to your ripped spider suit that you were definitely going to have to fix.

"oh, sorry. Yes, sure.” he says, offering you his hand and pulling you up, and gives you a bunch of his old clothes that for some reason look absolutely massive.

ears pinking, you thank him, and turn away to go to the bathroom to actually go get changed. while you walk away, unbeknownst to you, miles is watching you with the corner of his lips pulled up in a small smile, because after everything you’ve gone through together, you are with him now, and you did your best to help him.

he's so unbelievably grateful for everything you've done and he genuinely has no idea on how to thank you. and when you come out from the bathroom in his clothes, he has to stifle a little laugh, because it just looks so unbelievably good on you. As if his sweatshirt was just made for you. the rest of the night is relatively peaceful, just resting and talking, getting to know him and his parents better.

the next couple of weeks you spend a lot of time popping in and out of miles' dimension, just checking up on his parents, and him. it's good to hear when he tells you that tensions with his parents are gone, as they finally understand why he's so busy and distracted all the time, and you're so happy to hear that they're getting along again.

However, you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn't miss him. even if you were seeing him every couple of days, it just didn't seem the same. You were always thinking of him, especially at the worst times, like when you were fighting the villain of the week in your dimension or in the middle of a science lecture.

so you're exceedingly grateful to be spending time with him right now, sitting on a small roof overlooking brooklyn, and you're just watching people walk by, going on with their lives and not noticing anything else.

—— mona lisa —— listen to this pls i think it works rly well ——

you're sitting together, shoulders touching, talking about everything and nothing. Things just seem so peaceful and right this way, but something small just seems to be missing. and you know what you want to tell him, that he's constantly on your mind and that you can't think of anyone else apart from him. How everything small reminds you of him. things quiet down, and you're genuinely considering saying something.

he's sitting there thinking of the best way to tell you that he appreciates everything you've done for him, how you were willing to sacrifice so much just to help him. How he hates what happened but loves it at the same time because he got to meet you.

"miles-" you start, at the same time he goes; "there's something i need to tell you." you quiet down and give him an encouraging nod, letting him go first, because you don't want to be selfish.

"thank you, for everything you've done in the past few months for my family and I. Thank you so much for helping me come back to my dimension, when you barely knew me. i cannot thank you enough. "

"it's not a problem, miles," you tell him, "I'm happy i could help you."

"wait, wait." he rushes out, "I'm not done." you smile at him and let him finish talking.

"when i first met you, my spidey-senses went off, but that's not it. there was something else, like this sense of deja vu, like i had known you for all my life, but at the same time you felt so comfortable and familiar, and i was a little startled." he continues, "and i know we've spent a lot of time together recently, and i'm super glad we've been able to get to know each other so much better." "me too," you say quietly. "i felt it too."

he smiles happily at you, before turning away and glancing back out at brooklyn, and he keeps on pushing forwards. "and i know we haven't known each other very long, but I really, really like you way more than a friend should, and i know that you probably don't feel the same way, but i really needed to tell you, and i hope this doesn't affect our friendship, but like i said-"

you interrupt softly; "miles, miles stop." he looks at you confused, cheeks flushed and a brows furrowed, looking so desperately hopeful that you can't help but let out a small laugh. "miles," you continue, "i really like you too."

"you do?" he asks hopefully.

"yeah, i do." you respond, lacing your fingers through his. He pulls you closer to him, throwing his arms excitedly around you, letting out a soft laugh, before pulling back. he lets go of your hands, and cups your face softly.

"can i kiss you?" he asks, and when you give him a small nod, with your cheeks flushed, he kisses you for the first time.

the kiss is so devastatingly sweet, and due to both of your inexperience, you both fumble a little, before sinking into it properly. He tastes like a faint spice most likely from his mother's cooking, like something that has happened before. as if, somewhere else, something like this has played out before.

you pull back first, resting your forehead against his, whispering how much you like him to him, before both of your hands meet, fingers sliding against each other till they rest perfectly together. your head rests on his shoulder, and both of you enjoy the sweet moment together, just sitting there in the happy environment, staring out over brooklyn, just a couple of dumb idiots in love.

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thejacketscloset · 1 year

Text

Just got my wisdom teeth out so ofc I gotta cope with ghostsoap and take u all with me

Now Consider ghost taking soap for a procedure (it would b a little funny if it was wisdom teeth and he somehow managed to not have to have them out until he was in the 141 but I'm not a dentist and I have no idea what the time frame on teeth are)

After the procedure is done and Ghost is taking Soap back to his flat Soap is still very much loopy, and he's doing the usual mumbling and complaining that happens when your brain is still feeling funny. Ghost chuckles a little at him and says "You're alright Johnny, we'll get you laying down once we're back," in a soft tone. He doesn't really think Soap is listening to him but suddenly he hears sniffles coming from the other.

When he glances over to look at Soap he's straight up just crying and looking over at Ghost with the a big pouting expression while hes on the verge of sobbing. Ghost is pretty surprised since he has absolutely no idea what caused the sudden outburst and is pretty concerned for his friend, as soon as he tries to ask what's wrong Soap is answering in a weeping voice.

Soap just babbles on to Ghost about how he's "so caring" and how he sees everything he does for soap and is so grateful for it all. Ghost is still pretty shocked by the suddenness of all of it but he manages to chuckle again once he gets over it.

"Relax Johnny, don't go saying things you'll regret later." Is all ghost says in the same soft tone, but with a little more amusement seeping into it.

Soap just sniffles more and insists that he wants ghost to know how wonderful he is, but as he continues to ramble his words get more slurred and tired.

When they finally get back to Soap's flat and Ghost helps Soap into bed. Soap is out like a rock instantly and Ghost tucks him in as best as he can before leaving him to sleep.

While Soap sleeps Ghost mulls over all that he said in the car. He does care for Johnny, a lot if he's really going to be honest, but he typically avoided showing it outwardly. Of course, the Scott had knocked down his walls, and he could think back to many moments where it slipped through and got he comfortable. Ghost couldn't say he minded though, if it really made Soap feel happy enough to cry about it he would tear down the rest of his walls himself, he would do so much for Johnny. Simon decided to start with making Soap his favorite smoothie for when he woke up, it was a small start but knowing Johnny he'd love it either way.

EDIT!! wrote a fic for this! Check out part one here or on ao3

#soapghost #ghostsoap #cod #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soap mw2 #ghost mw2 #mw2 #ghost cod #cod mw2 fic #ghostsoap fic #cod fanfic #fanfic #drabble #cod hcs

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royalwildswriting · 5 months

Text

↳ bucky barnes x reader → ❝first glance❞

summary: bucky is a regular at the coffee shop you work at and you find yourself enamored with the mysterious man. as you get to know him you realize he has secrets he’s not ready to reveal but that doesn’t mean others won’t. word count: 5.3k+ tags/warnings: fluff, angst, strangers to lovers a/n: this is a fic from my ao3, i decided to repost it here to start out this blog. if i'm being honest i don't remember what happens in this story lol

masterlist

sequel sweet dreams

At first glance, James Buchanan Barnes was a normal man. An extremely handsome man but a normal man. That’s what you thought the first time he came into the coffee shop you worked at. You saw a lot of people come through every day but he always stood out to you. He was tall and handsome but he had a look in his brown eyes that pulled you in. It was almost sad, something about him said to stay away but that only pulled you in more.

It was understandably frowned upon to flirt with customers, not that you were the type to flirt with someone in the first place. Even if you did show interest in him you doubted he would return it. So you continued through life normally but you found it was hard to shake the thought of him.

Daydreams of the handsome man that stopped by every morning at the same time and ordered the same black coffee every day were a common occurrence. It was nice to imagine him asking for your number or him offering to walk you home because it was dark out after your shift. If you were feeling really dramatic you could imagine him pulling you out of the street just in time to avoid a car. You sighed as you finished making a customer's coffee. This wasn’t a movie, he wasn’t some Avenger that was going to save you from a perilous scene.

Glancing at the clock you saw it was about time for him to show up. Ten minutes passed and there was no sign of him. An hour later you found yourself worried. You internally sighed at yourself, you knew it wasn’t healthy to worry about a stranger so much. Maybe he was on vacation. Maybe he just didn’t want coffee today. Maybe he was hurt. You shook your head. Just focus on getting done with this shift.

“Welcome.” You at the chime of the bell on the door without looking to see who had walked in. Looking up from cleaning the counter you were surprised to see just the man you had been worried about. Even with the counter between you and him, the height difference felt big. “Oh, you’re late.” You said without thinking. He raised an eyebrow.

“Accidentally slept in.” He explained. “You keep track of all your customers.”

“I’m sorry.” You stuttered out your face warming up. “Just the regulars I guess.” You said sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck. It wasn’t exactly a lie, you did notice when other regulars missed a day but not usually when they were an hour late.

“You don’t have to apologize.” He said. “Perks of small coffee shops.”

You smiled at him nervously. This was the most you had ever talked to him. It was hard to miss how tied he looked, the bags under his eyes. Maybe he should have slept in more.

“Black coffee?” You asked.

“Yeah.” He replied handing the cash over.

A few moments later you had his coffee in hand but a thought popped into your head. You grabbed one of the fresh blueberry muffins. Moving back to the counter you handed him his drink before handing him the blueberry muffin. You watched as he raised his eyes at the sight of the pastry.

“You look like you could use it.” You said. “Unless you don’t like blueberries, I can grab something else-”

“I like blueberries.” He said cutting off your nervous rambling. “Thank you, I appreciate it.” He said with a smile that made your heart flutter. For just a moment you saw a warmth in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. “My name’s Bucky, by the way.”

“Bucky. Nice to meet you.” You said before giving him your name.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t think about that encounter for longer than necessary. I mean how could you get someone like that out of your head. Especially his smile, it was the first time you had ever seen him smile.

The next day you had off of work. You were more than excited to spend the day doing whatever you wanted. Your day was planned out, you had some errands to run but you also were going to stop by your favorite book store and a few other fun things. Your day was going nicely but the last thing you expected was to run into Bucky.

He was easy to spot even in the crowded street. For a moment you panicked, should you say hello or keep walking? Your nervous inner dialogue was interrupted by the look on his face. He looked lost, almost out of it.

Before you could overthink it you walked up to him and touched his arm.

“Bucky?” You questioned. “Are you okay?”

Bucky looked down at you, eyes wide. For a moment it looked like he was taking in his surroundings, almost in a frantic manner.

“I’m sorry.” He said, he sounded stressed out. “I got lost in thought.”

“Don’t apologize. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” You said.

“I’m fine, thank you.” He said. “Not used to seeing you without an apron.” He joked.

“With how much I work I’m not used to seeing myself without an apron.” You laughed. This was your shot, you weren’t working, you were having a nice conversation with him so far. “I was just about to get lunch around the corner, if you wanted to join me?” You offered. Mentally you high-fived yourself for saying that like a normal person and not some kind of stalker.

“Yeah, I was actually about to ask you if you were free for lunch.” He said. Wow, not only did he agree but he had been thinking the same thing. Maybe you weren’t the most hopeless person when it came to the dating scene. At least not today.

If you thought asking was nerve-wracking sitting across the table from him was even worse. Somehow every topic evaded you as you pretended to read the menu intently.

“Do you come here often?” He asked.

“Not a lot but I do like to come here after running some errands, it’s like a reward for being responsible on my day off instead of laying in bed and playing video games or reading.” You explained, Bucky smiled.

“What do you usually get?” He asked.

“The sandwiches are really good.” You said. “I like the turkey pesto sandwich and you can get a salad or soup with it. I’ve never had anything I didn’t like here.”

You were thankful for the food-related conversation until you could come up with a normal question to ask him. The waitress came over to take your orders, you didn’t miss the way she eyed Bucky. You couldn’t blame her. You did the same thing at work. After she took both of your orders you moved to take a drink of your water but in your nerve-fueled clumsiness, you knocked your sunglasses that had been sitting on the table onto the ground.

“Oops, I’m sorry.” You said reaching for them but Bucky was quicker grabbing them and handing them back to you. His gloved hand brushes yours as he places them in the palm of your hand. “Thank you.”

It’s hard not to wonder why he always wears gloves, you can’t recall ever seeing him without them even on warm days. You aren’t the type to ask pressing questions, especially after barely knowing him. What if he had some skin problem? It would be rude to call him out or make him feel like he had to explain.

“Are you from New York originally?” He asked.

“No, I'm actually from California.” You explained. “I came here for school but then the blip happened. The school shut down, most of the professors were gone. My family was all gone, there was no point in going back home so I stayed here. I guess I lost my motivation to go to school after everything. Then since everyone’s been back I haven’t been able to face my family, five years I had no one. No one had hope,” You paused, it was hard reflecting on that time. “How am I supposed to be the same person my parents remembered me as?”

Bucky stared at you intently as you realized how deep things had gotten. His look wasn’t one of judgment or even awkwardness at the heavy subject, he looked at you like he understood.

“I’m sorry, I guess I haven’t really talked about it to anyone. That was a lot.” You said sheepishly.

“It’s okay, I understand.” He didn’t elaborate but you could feel he meant it. You wondered if he had disappeared with the blip or not but you didn’t want to pry.

Lunch went well, after the heavy subject things lightened up and you found yourself really enjoying his company. You were glad you had been brave enough to ask him.

“Could I get your number?” He asked as the two of you exited the cafe. You were surprised at how sheepish he had asked. He didn’t seem like the type who would be shy. No doubt he had a lot of women after him.

“Yeah, of course.” You said handing him your phone with the contact open. He typed his number in and handed it back. You send him a quick text to give him your number. “This was really nice.”

“I’d like to do this again sometime.” He said.

“I’d like that.” You smiled.

With a bit of bravery and chance, you had finally gotten to spend time with your coffee shop crush. The reality of it was now hitting you. He liked you enough to at least spend lunch with you and offer to do it again. Now your crush felt less like a daydream and more real.

Work was interesting, seeing Bucky had been the highlight of your shift before but now it was pretty much the consistent highlight of your day. Instead of just ordering your encounter with him usually entailed some talk about your day or what book you had read recently. It turned out Bucky was more than happy to take book recommendations which led to the two of you having a good conversation about whatever books he had read. It was nice to not only talk about something you enjoyed but to have something to bond over with your new friend.

Getting a text from Bucky was a common occurrence. Your conversations would linger through the day. You often teased him about how he texted like an old man. You promised to teach him how to text like a normal person one day. It wasn’t rare for you or him to talk about hanging out more but you had been taking a lot of shifts at work and Bucky had his own things going on even if he didn’t exactly give many details.

It was late, somehow your morning shift had turned into working an entire day at the coffee shop which you doubted was legal but you wouldn’t complain about getting some overtime. Closing was always a pain but you finally had finished. You had been complaining to Bucky over text all day about work.

Locking up the store you nearly screamed as you realized someone was standing behind you in the dark.

“I’m sorry,” The familiar voice of Bucky said. Realizing it was him you let out a breath.

“You almost scared me to death.” You said clutching your chest. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He apologized.

“It’s okay, I’m not used to closing.” You said. It surprised you just how dark it was around your workplace, evidently, the city couldn’t keep up on their streetlights. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just thought it’s dark out and I know it’s not always safe around here, I thought I could walk you home if you don’t mind.” He said.

It was hard to keep your heart from fluttering at his words. You didn’t think that men thought that way anymore, it seemed most guys these days thought more of what they could get out of a relationship than what they could do for someone else. Not that he was your boyfriend or anything.

“That’s really sweet, Bucky.” You said. “I’d love that.”

Bucky wasn’t wrong, it wasn’t the best place to be at night, and walking home in the dark always made you nervous. One of the reasons you preferred the morning shift. Tonight you didn’t have to worry about that thankfully.

The two of you walked along the sidewalk talking about different things. Bucky was an interesting person to talk to. He had a lot of personality but at the same time, it felt like he was holding back sometimes. Maybe not holding back but like there was a wall. You could understand. After the blip, it was hard to be yourself, more often than not you felt like a ghost of who you used to be. With Bucky, you could feel that person returning.

It was hard to resist the curiosity that burned in you sometimes. What was he holding back? Why did he wear gloves all the time? Why did he act so old-fashioned sometimes? You supposed there were most likely normal answers to all of those questions. He probably went through some trauma like most of the world if not all had recently. You were either blipped and came back to a different world or you had to survive losing the people you cared for the most. Like you thought before about the gloves he probably had a skin condition and him being old-fashioned could be he was raised by his grandparents.

In the back of your head, your head that was filled with too many mystery novels and fantasy stories, you wondered if it all added up to something else. A girl could dream. Growing up with your head in a book really left a lot to be desired when real-life showed you how plain it could be.

Granted you did live in a world where there were superheroes and villains who made half the population disappear. You doubted you would ever dip your toe into any of that excitement. It was probably for the better, you certainly didn’t have any powers and you didn’t think you were tough enough for any of that.

“Thank you for walking me home, Bucky.” You said stopping in front of your apartment building. “Seriously, that’s really thoughtful of you. It made my exhausting day a lot better.”

“Of course.” He said. “Before you go I wanted to ask if you wanted to get dinner tomorrow.”

“That sounds great, we can talk about that new book you got. You have to get to chapter five by tomorrow!” You told him.

“I’ll try and do that.” He smiled.

You headed into your apartment feeling a lot lighter than you had getting off of work.

Oblivious felt like a strong word to use for yourself, especially considering you thought you were quite observant but Bucky was a blindspot if you ever had one. In hindsight, you could see the signs, the slight sound of nervousness in his voice or maybe the way he leaned towards you ever so slightly. The clearest sign was the face he made when you agreed so casually. You had a long day in your defense.

When you opened your apartment door to Bucky standing there in a nice shirt and slacks with a bouquet of flowers it hit you like a train.

He asked you out on a date.

You stared at him blankly for a second. Could you play it off like you totally knew the whole time? Maybe but you were wearing jeans and a shirt and it felt hardly appropriate.

“I’m realizing that I may have misinterpreted things and I am underdressed.” You said. Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“You mean,” He paused for a moment. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” You said shamefully.

“If you don’t want to go we don’t have to, you can pretend this never happened.” He offered. Bless his heart.

“No, no!” You said shaking your hands. “I want to but can I change real quick?”

“Of course.” He said.

“Here, come inside.” You said pulling him into your apartment. “I’m so sorry, just a second.”

Maybe it was good you didn’t know or else you probably would have spent three hours trying to get ready. The pressure of trying to keep him from waiting too long was a good incentive to pick an outfit fast. You grabbed your go-to ‘nice occasion’ dress and threw it on. It wasn’t too dressy but it wasn’t overly casual. The rest of your look would just have to do.

“I’m sorry, I tried to hurry.” You said. Bucky stood from his place on the couch he had been sitting at.

“You look beautiful.” He said. His intense brown eyes bore into yours.

“You look really nice, a lot more prepared than me.” You laughed sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, I should have made it more clear. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date.” He admitted.

“I can be a bit oblivious when it comes to these things, it’s not your fault.” You told him. “It’s been a long time for me too.”

For being absolutely mentally unprepared for a date it went well. Better than well. You loved being around Bucky, talking to him, laughing with him. There was something about his presence that made you feel safe. He was kind and caring, almost too good to be true.

That night was the beginning of something beautiful, you spent most of your free time with Bucky. Most nights he would hang out with you at your apartment and read together, talking about the books and eating dinner. It was peaceful. A part of you was shocked at how easily you fell into a comfortable routine with him. It was domestic but you liked it.

The two of you sat together on your couch as rain poured against the window. You leaned against Bucky as you flipped the page of your book. It had been a few weeks of dating now and you hadn’t yet kissed Bucky. You weren’t exactly sure what the timeline was with these things and he hadn’t made a move and you were nervous. The scene in your book had brought the subject up in your mind. The female lead had finally kissed her love interest, it was dramatic and passionate after a near-death experience. You weren’t expecting that for you and Bucky but you wondered when the right time was.

Tilting your head up you looked at Bucky as he looked at his book with focused eyes. You took in his strong handsome features.

“Can I help you, doll?” He said glancing at you.

“Just looking.” You said.

“Not much of a sight.” He joked.

“I’d disagree.” You smiled. This moment felt perfect, your head resting against his chest was comforting. A light blush dusted his cheeks.

Just like that, the moment was calm and warm and you felt it was the perfect time. You leaned up ever so slightly and he quickly caught on. His gloved hand moved to your cheek, guiding you softly to him as your lips brushed.

After a moment you pulled back taking a deep breath. His brown eyes were soft and warm. You turned, sitting up more so you could go in for another kiss. You grasped his left bicep for stability, as you did you felt him freeze. Instead of the soft give, you expected it was hard as a wall. You tried your best not to react and went in for the kiss.

Your mind raced to try to understand what you had felt. Did he have a prosthetic arm? Was that why he wore the gloves to cover it up? You were glad that you didn’t bring it up. If he was self-conscious about it you weren’t going to make him feel like he had to talk about it. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to know but you respected his privacy too much to be nosey.

Bucky went with your ignorance and you never questioned him. He would tell you when he was ready and you wouldn’t force it.

More time passed and while the questions you had were in the background of your mind you never pushed. You loved what you had with Bucky and you wouldn’t ruin it.

It was nice falling into the rhythm of life with Bucky. It was comfortable. The last thing you expected was for things to be shattered.

See you later ;)

You shook your head with a laugh at Bucky’s text. He was using emoticons which was a step up from nothing but he still texted like an old man and you wouldn’t stop teasing him until he did.

The two of you had a date planned later, you were looking forward to getting dressed up and going out with him. Your shift was almost over and then you were free.

This time you had planned out a whole look, you had even gotten a dress for the date. It was modern with a vintage inspiration. Taking your time to do your hair and makeup you were going to look good tonight.

Bucky had sent you the address but told you that it was a surprise. You could look up what the place was but you didn’t want to ruin it. It wasn’t far from your apartment so you decided to walk. The night was nice and you found yourself with a pep in your step on the way there.

It happened so fast. A car pulled up and two men hopped out. Before you could do anything they grabbed you and dragged you in. You struggled against them but a cloth was put over your face and everything faded to black.

Waking up you found yourself in a dark room. You felt sore, hands bound behind your back, and stuck to a chair.

“You’re probably confused.” A voice said. “Why would a nice girl like you end up in a situation like this. Maybe it’s just the wrong time, the wrong place. It’s not.”

“Who are you?” You asked, voice raw.

“That doesn’t matter. You should be asking who your boyfriend is.” He said. How did Bucky have anything to do with this.

A light flickered and a projection lit up the wall. Surveillance footage shown on the screen.

“You’re probably thinking you found a nice guy. No secrets, no skeletons in his closet but you haven’t.” He said.

The video continued to play, it was hard to make out what was happening. A man ran on the sidewalk, it looked like he was being chased. It was almost a blur the way the figure entered the scene. In all black, this man grabbed the other man by the throat and pinned him against the wall. The man struggled before going limp.

The screen cut to another scene, a hotel lobby, a man running, the same figure in black again with a gun. The man fleeing dropped dead as a shot rang out.

It kept going, people being killed by this man in black with long hair and a mask. You were confused, why was this being shown to you. Who was this man?

The next video was close, it looked more recent than the other ones. The camera was in a point of view perspective. The man in black approached, his left arm was made of shining metal. The man struggled with the assassin before he took a hit, the black mask falling off.

“No.” You breathed out. The assassin’s face was familiar to you, it was your boyfriend. It was Bucky.

“This man has killed countless people, killed my family.” He said. “I’m going to make him pay.”

“He wouldn’t, he’s not like that.” You said, tears burning in your eyes. Bucky wouldn’t, he was so kind. Your Bucky couldn’t do that. “He couldn’t.”

“He did.” The man said. “Should I play more, how much will it take to make you realize.”

“Please don’t.” You cried, your head hanging down. You couldn’t stand to see anymore. You couldn’t believe this.

“It doesn’t matter.” He said. “He’ll be here soon no doubt. I wouldn’t want you looking unscathed.”

The man approached you before hitting you across the face. The pain burning in your cheek tried to distract you from what you just found out. How could that be your Bucky? Another strike across the face.

“I can’t kill him but I can take away the one thing he cares about.” The man said.

“Please don’t kill me.”

“I’m not going to kill you, that would be too easy. No, the pain of the woman he cares about hating him for the monster he is is the best revenge I could ever have.”

It felt like forever, the man had hurt you no doubt leaving bruises and cuts all over you. You didn’t know if you could feel any worse both inside and out.

A loud crash brought you out of your miserable state. Your head felt dizzy from pain as you tried to look around. Noises continued until the door slammed open revealing Bucky. He caught sight of you and rushed to your side.

“Doll, are you okay?” He asked, his voice sounded so small and scared. Your blurry eyes tried to focus on him.

“Bucky.” You said. A part of you was relieved to see him, to have his strong hands on your arms. The comfort that washed over you was quickly replaced with the ice of remembering what you had learned. You were so tired mentally and physically all you could do was cry.

Bucky untied you, as he did the man who had planned this all entered.

“You must be thinking you did it, you saved the girl in time before something terrible happened.” He said. “But you’re too late. She knows who you really are now and nothing you can do will ever change that.”

Bucky’s eyes widened, quickly understanding what he was saying. He didn’t hesitate in taking the man down, handcuffing him, and leaving him on the ground. He returned to you, kneeling in front of you.

“Doll, I have a lot to explain if you’ll let me but I need to get you to a hospital first.” He said. You nodded weakly, too tired to do anything else. Bucky carefully gathered you in his arms, arms that had killed so many people. He walked the both of you out.

While your injuries were painful, they weren’t severe. You didn’t have a concussion or any permanent damage. You were bandaged up, prescribed some pain pills, and sent home.

Bucky took you home and you wondered what could possibly be explained about what you had learned. Had he been killing people all this time? Was that what he was doing when you weren’t with him. How could you be so blind?

Bucky helped you into your apartment and settled you on the chaise lounge part of your couch, fluffing the pillows around you before going to the kitchen. He returned with some toast, a glass of water, and your pain pills.

“I can explain everything now or you can get some sleep first. Or I can walk out that door and never come back if that’s what you want.” He said.

“I want to know. He showed me videos. It was you but I can’t believe it was you.” Tears started to well up in your eyes again.

“It is but it also isn’t.” He said sitting down carefully by you but not close as he usually would. “It’s a really long story and it’s going to sound unreal but I promise you it’s the truth.”

“Okay.” You said.

“I was born in 1917, I was best friends with Steve Rogers. When he became Captain America I worked side by side with him. When we were on a mission I fell from a train in the mountains to what people thought was my death. Hell, I thought it was my death until I woke up in a lab. I was turned into a super-soldier by Hydra and they brainwashed me into being an assassin. They froze me and every time they needed something done they brought me out to take care of it. I’ve killed a lot of people, good and bad. It wasn’t my choice but it was me.” He explained.

You stared at him blankly. Your boyfriend was one hundred and six years old and a former brainwashed assassin. That wasn’t what you were expecting. And he was friends with Captain America.

“So is Steve Roger’s really on the moon?” You asked. Bucky’s serious expression broke as he let out a loud laugh.

“I give you all that and that’s what you have to ask?” He laughed.

“Felt like the safest question.” You said.

“I was expecting something like, are you still brainwashed or why didn’t you tell me.” He said.

“That felt a bit rude.”

“I lied to you about my past and you’re worried about being rude.”

“You didn’t really lie, just didn’t tell me everything. I can understand why it’s a bit heavy for a first date.” You said. Bucky gave you a soft smile. “The way you avoided the Steve question makes me think he’s on the moon, to be honest.” Bucky laughed.

“He’s not on the moon,” Bucky answered. “How can you be so casual about this.”

“Well first of all I’m on pain meds, second I didn’t want to believe what he told me. What he showed me.” You said. “I couldn’t believe that was you but it wasn’t you. If you were brainwashed that wasn’t you.”

Bucky stared at you in disbelief.

“Just like that.” He said.

“I’m not saying that I don’t have any questions or I’m not still a bit shaken but Bucky, I love you. You’re an amazing man and it’s going to take more than that to scare me away.” You said.

“If that doesn’t do it then I think you might be unscarable.” He said. “I love you too, more than I thought was even possible.”

Bucky leaned in for a soft kiss, his gloved hand brushing against your cheek. You melted into the kiss. Once he leaned back you touched his left arm, hand sliding down to his hand.

“Can I?” You asked, touching the top of the glove. He nodded softly. You pulled the glove off to reveal the black metal arm. You reached to the top of his jacket for the zipper looking into his brown eyes for another ‘okay’. You zipped it down sliding it off. The arm was amazing, the gold detail was intricate. “It’s beautiful.” You said looking up at him. You slide your hand into his, intertwining your fingers with his.

Bucky couldn’t resist leaning in for another kiss overwhelmed with emotion for you.

“I love you so much.” He said against your lips.

“I love you too. All of you.” You said.

After the intimate moment, you found yourself overcome with drowsiness. Bucky noticed this and helped you to your bed, getting you comfortable.

“Please stay with me.” You asked.

“Okay.” He said sitting down on your bed. You leaned over pulling tugging at his arm.

“Can you hold me?” You asked.

“Oh.” He said. Getting into bed with you, you didn’t hesitate to curl up on his chest. He wrapped his arm around you pulling you close, resting his head against you.

“Thank you, for everything.” You said.

“I should be apologizing.” He said.

“It wasn’t the best of circumstances but I’m here with you and I feel even closer to you now. I see that as a win.” You explained.

“I love you.” He said again. “Sleep now, I’ll be right here. You’ll be safe with me.”

“My hero.” You said as you nuzzled into his chest.

taglist: message to be on it :)

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #my writing #marvel #fluff #marvel x reader #light angst

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 8 months

Note

I had coffee my thoughts are all over the place it's not gonna make sense and I'm probably gonna change my mind about some of the things I said later but here's my ramble.

I'm so mad right now. There's so many things that piss me off with Peter B. I keep thinking about all the mess he keeps pulling throughout the first and the second movie. The fact that he betrayed Miles not once but twice BUT THREE TIMES (typing Miles up in ITSV, not telling him about the Spider Society or that he was an anomaly, CALLING HQ ON HIM BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SAVE HIS FATHER. Technically that's 4 but moving on.)

He refuses to acknowledge Miles as a fellow spider(which is probably why he didn't feel bad about finding Miles was an anomaly now he has a reason to not take Miles seriously.) And he keeps trying to insert himself into a mentor role when he's yet to do a whole lot of mentoring. What also throws me here is how he had the audacity to say the trauma builds character while being a mentor to help guide Miles into becoming Spiderman so Miles' could avoid the mistakes that Peter made.

I WILL NEVER BE OVER THAT CHAIR SCENE IN ITSV. How is it you as a grown man. A grown white man no less took a black teenage boy who you viewed as so much of a liability that you had to tie him up. And I know multiple people have talked about everything that's wrong with this scene but there's still something so haunting about watching him just nonchalantly be tied up kicking and screaming about how he wants to be let go that bothers me so much. And I find it hard to believe that this was just a scene we're supposed to just move on from. Did they do this on purpose? Was this supposed to showcase something about Peter's character that I'm not picking up on? Because I find it so hard to believe that the writers who made sure to explicitly show how Gwen's Peter is Christian because he later turns into a lizard wouldn't understand the implications of this scene.

I also don't think he's a strategic as he thinks he is. What do you think was going to happen when you forcefully tied this boy to a chair? You thought he was going to sit still? Also would you think the boy who's trying to save his father was going to do? Actually listen to your words? Sit back and be like, oh you're right I should just let my father die. (This is me going off my reasoning that he didn't plan out that one scene in ATSV. I think that he thought that because he's Miles' "mentor" he could get through to him in a way others can't. Which pretentious much?) His actions do more harm than good and it just works out for him somehow. (For instance Miles saving them in ITSV because he came late.)

These are my thoughts do with this what you will. All the stars decided to align today ig because I haven't been able to come up with coherent thoughts like this in a minute.

(I really need to rewatch itsv. So if there's anything here that I'm wrong about regarding itsv it's been like 5 years since I've seen it.)

I GET THISS SOOO HARD (I waited until I had coffee to answer this lol)

BUT YESSSSS Because like I can understanding giving Peter the benefit of the doubt, it makes plausible sense for a movie to have a certain amount of wiggle room plot wise.

But with writers who clearly understood punk enough to accurately show it in Hobie's arc, repeatedly put in the work to respect Cockney and Puerto Rican culture, who wrote every one of Hobie's lines with PERCISION - would just overlook the glaring hole in their story that is Peter.

Because we as a viewer are continually told we SHOULD look up to him and we SHOULD trust him - but in doing so they accidentally make him the exact opposite. Like.. It doesn't make sense to me.

The Focus on Jess & The Absence of Peter:

aka GODDAMN I hate Peter B. Parker [yet another rant about 'bad' writing, plotholes, and Peter not showing up for Miles or Gwen.

For example,

Jess is Gwen's mentor, and we see her mentor style is extremely different from Peter's and that's suppose to be a contrasting dynamic between them and the relationship between Miles and Peter. Okay, makes sense.

But by NOT having Peter be Gwen's mentor, the writers are implying that he didn't step up as an emotional mentor when all this given - HE SHOULD. Because he's the only adult that she knows, and she a freshly homeless teen who needs to be around people she trusts, rather than working at a society with an auditorium of adults.

But by trying to show off how much we should judge Jess, the writers have inadvertently given us a Peter who just..didn't take responsibility. That's what they're implying - that Hobie and Jess were the ones who came to get aid. And we're suppose to look the other way. I... can't do that, sir.

"Look at how mean Jess is, why not blame her-" Jess is doing her job. Where's the adult she actually knows and trusts. Can we get some dialogue about what he did for her? Or did he just do nothing?

Did they just forget to include that, or did Peter just forget to help?

For me, that's two points in the bucket. Not housing Gwen, and not being her mentor. He could've done one, the other or both.

But because he didn't, we're left asking "What WAS he doing in the Society?"

Missions, I assume. Cause he wasn't mentoring her, so he must have been off putting in legit work for Miguel, I assume.

If we're looking at the characters as full-rounded - which I would hope they are considering the depth of Gwen, Miles and Hobie, it's not a large jump to ask 'How involved was Peter in Gwen's time at the Society? Why is he not her mentor, or why is she not living with him?"

Gwen..should be staying with him. If you're an adult who knows a teen and they become homeless, and it is within your means - yeah, I do think it's a moral obligation to open your home to them, at least temporarily. If you care about them. But that aside, let's extend the benefit of the doubt. Maybe Gwen didn't want to see him.

But then the ratting Miles out thing. This, I can't get around-

Some may say that it was simply for plot development and that Lyla spoke suddenly as a mistake on her part.

And I gotta call bullshit.

Firstly, because this is the same movie where we're shown Hobie stealing parts prior to learning what the parts are for. The same film that literally animated a fight accurately to Bushwick down to the very street. Let's cut it some slack here.

And moreso - I could understand the justification that it was a mistake on Lyla's part.

If Lyla was human. She's not.

She's an AI, and a very sophisticated one at that. Lyla runs on protocol, because that's AI's do. She's made to do things the way that is mathematically most effective, based on her analysis and her code.

It's easy to see Lyla as just an avatar, and a comedic one at that - but Lyla is literally one of - if not the - smartest 'person' in the multiverse. She's the only one who can track Spot in real time. If Jess and Miguel need aid on a mission or with Spot, they call Lyla. And she's handled every Society mission prior to the chase.

Her speaking out of turn suddenly and giving Peter away is an understandable plot mistake, if she was subjected to human mistakes.

So far, Lyla isn't. It doesn't make sense, based on what Lyla is.

I think Lyla would know better than to give Peter away suddenly by detecting Miles' presence and still speaking out loud.

A lot ask 'What motive does Peter have for ratting Miles out?', but we also should also ask "What motive does Lyla have for ratting herself out?'

It's her goal to find Miles no matter what. She doesn't care, she kinda can't - she's an AI. She just has to find him and send Miles' location to Miguel. Her objective.

So her locating Peter without his knowledge and then giving herself away to him doesn't make sense - especially if Lyla knew Miles was that close, from a human standpoint and definitely from the standpoint of the most sophisticated AI in existence.

So I was under the assumption that - like you mentioned now, that before when he gets Miles alone, he may genuinely be trying to convince him still, but by the time they get into that space, I think that's around the time that it becomes a 'Okay, let's just get Miles back to HQ and talk about this' situation.

He genuinely ratted Miles out. In my eyes.

Because at this point, Miguel hasn't assaulted Miles. That comes later. So realistically speaking, his goal was probably to calm Miles down, and get him back to HQ however he could, and talk to him there.

Peter could've helped WAYYYY earlier.

People give Peter credit like 'Oh but he came over to Miles' side at the end-'

NO. YOU DO NOT GET A COOKIE.

Peter could've helped SO much earlier, and if anything, he was THE ONLY ONE in a position of helping.

Gwen can't do anything, like they physically restrain her when she tries to. And there's no point after they come to HQ that Gwen has the chance to turn around and help Peter.

Gwen doesn't get that chance. Peter DOES.

Had Peter helped Miles HERE, IMMEDIATELY, Miles would've gotten away without being assaulted by Peter.

If Peter had turned around and changed course in this moment, Miles would have been better off.

Fuck Peter B. Fuckkkkk hiiiimmmmm. NAWWWWWW

If Peter had let him go here, or helped him escape - Miles wouldn't have been taking hits up on that train. That's crazzzy.

But he wasn't trying to help Miles escape. If he wanted to, he would've. He could've just said "Matter of fact Miles, I think setting the WHOLE Society on you is a bizarre move and you should probably get out of here until Miguel can calm down and I can talk to him."

But he was like 'Nah, hold my baby. Matter of fact lemme tell you story in this pivotal moment when you're actively in danger. Here, look at me. What do you mean - I'm not stalling? I didn't rat him out on purpose.

Like either you did. And even if you didn't you didn't help him when you were literally the only person in the universe who could. In fact, he got away slower because of you. Lovely.

Peter is a grown man. He's not an idiot.

He knows Miles is in active danger. Why would an adult turn the conversation in that direction - about his baby - KNOWING Miles has no time.

As soon as Miles got his hands on MayDay, Peter is trying to change the conversation. Suddenly he's joking and laughing.

Even though Miles is freaking out. Why is Peter joking? He knows this isn't a joking situation. But here he is wasting Miles time, either accidentally or intentionally.

Because that'd be some good ass stalling.

There was nothing stopping Peter from helping him leave. But Peter was still on The Society's side, so he didn't. If he was on Miles' side, he would've helped him. He should've, but he was still for Miguel, because at this point Miguel hadn't assaulted Peter yet.

Congrats, Peter. Big L. Humbling Reality Spider-man everyone.

Like combine all this. AND THEN THE SCENE IN ITSV.

LITERALLY AND PHYSICALLY PETER IS ALWAYS HOLDING MILES BACK.

You cannot expect me to believe that the writers of a movie I can write 10k+ words about, just so happened to leave these two glaring plot holes for ONE character.

That I'm just suppose to ignore that Peter restrained Miles, a black boy, in ITSV. That he betrayed Miles for months, wasn't very active in Gwen's time at the Society, and he actively hinders Miles escape - if not actively ratting him out.

It baffles my mind.

It doesn't make sense, that these writers can write Hobie, Jessica, Miguel, Officer Stacy, Rio, and Jeff as fully rounded, well-thought characters. But for some reason, when it comes SPECIFICALLY to Peter B. - they just forget how to write. They just stop thinking about him the second they don't look at him.

IN BOTH MOVIES?

I don't buy it.

To have every other character be thoroughly thought through but have one of, if not these most iconic character full of plot holes...

I think the likely answer is they wrote him that way on purpose and he's just a bad person.

I'm sorry, and I'm laughing while writing this but like.

Either Peter is the ONE singular character who has a series of emotional plotholes - or he's just a bad mentor. It's one or the other. And it's open to interpretation.

But I wanna cut the writers some slack and say, No - they thought it through. And No, Lyla did not just randomly speak out of turn, he contacted her first off-screen before she replied to him.

And by waiting till the very end to come around, waiting until the person who looks up to you is deeply wounded to finally turn around - that's the same arc Officer Stacy goes through.

And we're not supposed to clap for him. It's lovely, but he doesn't get an award. And neither does Peter, not at all.

Maybe if had helped Miles escape in that moment. Maybe if he was Gwen's mentor or he housed her.

But as far as we know he spent those months of Gwen in the Society doing fuck all. We've seen no sign of his contribution anywhere.

And in a story about mentorship, that says something.

Anyway. This is long. Again fiosfgihrgirturetuier I'm SORRY

Once again, Fuck Peter B. All my Hobies hate Peter B. (not a typo)

He's worse than Jess.

And he's not worse than Miguel but I like Miguel more and it's not because of the ass that's just a bonus Miguel is cool (but also very wrong. but like personality wise we're cool).

Ummm I feel like I got off track here. Oh well!!

Damn he be doing Miles dirty. SMH

Bye.

#Gwen Stacy #Peter Parker #Jessica Drew #Miles Morales #Miguel O'hara #miguel o hara #spiderman #atsv #marvel #spider man #across the spiderverse #across the spider verse #atsv analysis #peter B Parker #no proofread

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sunnykeysmash · 1 year

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the structure, the "explosion", change and authenticity: a dissection of season 15

As usual I'm prefacing this post by saying these are my personal ramblings about always sunny meta so if you don't like to see that, then please move along.

When season 15 ended, I didn't end up analyzing it because my fixation had ended as well, so that's what I wanna do here, but in order to do that I have to touch on some themes that were heavily relevant in previous seasons but especially season 14.

I also want to properly explain why I've been calling season 14 "the last classic season of sunny", and why I think of season 15 as "a transitional season".

It seems weird, but I wanna start by talking about the season 13 episode, The Gang Escapes.

I've done a quick rewatch of s14 and 15 and the more I did that, the more I started to see Escapes like the predecessor for a lot of it.

So, in it, the gang is playing a game of escape rooms. They are trapped inside of Mac and Dennis' apartment, with only Dee knowing how to get out having done it before. Despite this, she is locked out, and is unable to help them. The boys separate and wrestle for a pair of heartshaped lock and key, and in the end, when they finally settle on how to open it, they discover that inside it says "And so the game begins".

The lock contains a ton of instructions on what to do next, but the gang quickly realizes they have run out of time and are unable to do them all, only for Dee to take the fall allowing them to win albeit in an unconventional way.

This episode reads to me like a cautionary tale on the fate of sunny.

Spending so much time on deciding how to do something or whether they should at all, that when they finally do it, they don't have the time to properly explore the choices they've made. As an example, this comes back with the concept of the seeds. In general, this is always touched upon whenever "imminent death" is explored, because it doesn't allow them more time to continue. This is often paired with a need to "go crazy/explode" by the end.

As a result, feeling constrained inside something and needing to get out before it's too late.

I'll elaborate more on all of this as we walk through s14/15, all the ways in which these themes come back, but for now I want to say that to me, this is likely how RCG has felt writing sunny sometimes: feeling too constrained/boxed inside the way they have always written it, that didn't allow them to branch out and explore the stuff they really wanted to "until the end", which in a way made them feel like sunny itself was the problem and made them consider ending it (aka cutting the head because the hair is a lie) to explore the stuff that interested them, rather than just... doing it while they have time, and being more loose with writing it in general (like how Gus said, the bible is a guidepost, interpretations can change over time).

As such, Escapes is an incomplete view on the situation, a negative one, it shows us what would happen if nothing gave in. Which isn't what happened in the end, but it's still important to keep in mind to read the rest of it.

This is, to me, why they even asked for four seasons in the first place. To have the time to properly explore all the things they wanted to touch on, with their new plan.

I'm gonna try to dissect every episode singularly (the ones I think are relevant anyway) and point out the connection in themes and what I think it all means. I tried to stay brief, believe me.

All in all, some of the themes I've found are as follows: the structure, death/catastrophe, running out of time/losing something (even disappointing an audience), change, and choices. They all apply to writing sunny.

Season 14

This season brings back a lot of stuff from past sunny. It seems s16 will do the same, but back when s14 was just airing, I remember this felt odd to me. Chokes is a direct continuation of dines out (with it being charlie and frank's anniversary dinner) and also calls back to mac's mom burns her house down and dennis system (with the whole poisoning someone so they can depend on you and nursing them back to health etc), poppins comes back, jackie denardo comes back (storm of the century, which also references bryan o' bryen), thundergun comes back, dee day (which is a continuation to mac day), global warming references Spies like US (the fish factory dudes), the waiter comes back... and so on. It felt like they were honoring the past.

But the reason why I consider it the last season of classic sunny, is because it's the one before change strikes. Many episodes seem to place us in front of an inescapable choice that leads to disaster. Some don't even offer a choice, just speak of imminent death.

The Gang Gets Romantic

Breaking this episode down, it's important because it introduces the whole concept of the "structure". A guideline, if you will, that the characters can either follow or stray away from. Throughout the two seasons we will see it redefined constantly, so it's important to understand what it is.

We are given two mirroring plotlines making use of this (romcom) structure. Frank and Charlie follow it pretty closely, and in the end they are rewarded with a romcom-y ending. Mac and Dennis stray from it, because they don't realize that the tropes are applying to the two of them, and in the end, their plans fail. This is actually counter to most other examples of structure that will be written later, and it shows us something important, which is that the structure can work if applied correctly and when appropriate.

So is the structure good or bad? Should it be followed? And what is it?

To me, the structure is a guide. It can aid you find what works on average, but it shouldn't lock you in. Exactly like structure in writing.

But it doesn't matter how you call it: the structure, the algorithm, god's plan, the bible, the base, the four walls encasing you, tradition; it's about something that gives you a foundation, but that you can branch out of, if needed. If your feelings tell you you should.

Multiple episodes will come to grips with this concept. Trying to run from it entirely, or embrace it to the point of almost doing things they don't want.

This is RCG's own struggle with understanding how to write sunny, and what sunny even is, hence why the main theme of season 15 is identity. How much can you stray from your core structure and still be yourself? How much before you don't even like where you're going? What defines you?

And in fact, a crucial theme in TGGR is falling back in love with something.

Pushing it away at first because you think you can get better than that or because you're bored of it, only in its absence to realize that it was already the perfect match. This is the charlie+frank/alexi+nikki plot (we'll be back in one year... covid aside, this is about the show returning and not ending), but it reflects season 15 in general (when you love someone, you can't bear to leave them behind).

Finally, "you think they're gonna give us a bad review?", hinting at the fear of how others will react.

Thundergun 4: Maximum Cool

The gang is selected to judge the sequel of a franchise they are big fans of. However, upon discovering the many changes applied to it (they're rebooting the franchise), they are disappointed and angered. In the end, Dee comes up with the plan that forces the franchise to go back to its roots, and the gang still doesn't support it.

So, how does this fit into our themes?

We have a franchise that has changed to the point of upsetting its fans.

We also have Dee once again being the key role in the story by coming up with the successful plan.

We have talk of a powerful formula that could destroy millions of lives in the wrong hands.

We have change seen as scary and upsetting, and we have talk of "rebooting the franchise".

Most importantly:

"Sometimes, in order to save something, you have to destroy something. And I think I know what we have to do to save Thunder Gun."

"Destroy it?"

This will plateau with Big Mo with its fake ending, but it speaks to the larger theme of considering ending sunny to get to the stuff they want to explore, only to realize they can explore it better if they start now and give themselves more time and just stay looser with the structure.

This is a talk they actually had with Larry David (who will be referenced as Larry Takashi later, creator of Fun Zone laser tag).

"McElhenney continued, “He (Larry David) said, ‘Don’t be an idiot. Never stop. Just keep doing it. One, because it’s the greatest job you could ever want and two, because if you do a final episode they’ll just destroy you for it.’”"

Around the same time, another article came out where Glenn mentioned wanting to follow Curb Your Enthusiasm's model.

"So with all these other projects, like last year, I'm sure you've talked now and again about ending the show for good." G: "We talked about it. At a certain point, we might look at this and go “Yeah, we did it and it's time to move on,” and all that kind of stuff. But I think at the same time the way I see it, we're more like a band than a show now, where we all go off into our side projects, but like, this is the band, and if we feel like putting out another album, we'll put out another album. At this point, it doesn't really make sense to end the show in any official capacity. It's possible that moving forward we move to sort of like a Curb Your Enthusiasm model if we can get away with it. Larry David actually pulled Rob aside at some kind of a function and told him "One piece of advice I'll give you guys: Don't ever end the show. Just don't end it!” I think he figured that out after Seinfeld. I think he was really burned out. But with Curb he knows he might want to come back to it years down the line."

Keep in mind, when these two articles came out, season 15 had not even been written yet. Despite this, me and others started speculating that A. the seasons would return whenever instead of each year; B. each season would follow a story arc.

Seasons got shorter (and point A may still happen), and season 15 ended up following a story arc.

Finally, Dennis once again places us in front of a choice by saying "give me dong, or give me death", implying those are the only two options the franchise has.

Dee Day

There is a choice that has to be made by vote, and the gang is trying to sway the results. In the end Dee hatches a successful plan that just so happens to have the same outcome wanted by the gang in the first place.

We start with them stretching (irony not lost on me 😭) to stay loose because they're preparing for the plan.

"Can we just start?"

"No, we can't just start, okay? Preparation is the key to victory."

Reminds me of Chokes:

"Yeah, but can we just, like, play already?"

"No, we can't just play, Charlie. We can't just play."

"Are you insane?! We can't just play!"

Again getting lost on the how, on preparation, instead of starting. Arguing instead of opening the lock.

Additionally, it's said that Dee wants to do a whole retrospective of her characters. It fits with what S15 has done so far.

Still, we are shown Dee pulling the strings even when it comes to directing the characters.

"And like all great plays, this one is going to have a happy ending."

The Gang Chokes

Frank almost chokes to death during their dinner. Charlie admits he almost let him die because he was mad at him for "interrupting him". At the same time, Mac is taking all his cues to act from Dennis, even in drastic situations, instead of showing that he can make his own decisions, which is what Dennis really wants.

"I would've stepped in, but, of course, I was taking my cues from you." "Why?" "Well, you didn't tell me whether I should save him or not." "But why?" "I mean, why do I still have to tell you what to do?" "And why is it up to me to decide whether or not you're going to save a man's life?"

Being able to make your own decisions depending on what you want to do, instead of always following someone else's directions, regardless of what the outcome is...

"So you were still gonna rely on a decision that somebody else made, only, this time, you were potentially gonna kill a man?"

Dee also starts living on the edge of life and death because it gives her a thrill, but ultimately experiences true death and realizes there is nothing on the other side.

Frank goes to live with someone else (the waiter), but in the end realizes Charlie was already perfect for him. Once again, breaking out and almost ending things only to see all he already had in the end, because Charlie apologizes to him.

And Mac learns to make his own decisions instead of depending on others. Like the structure meta.

The Gang Texts

The bananas thing with the gorilla.

"I sit there, eat a banana real slow, and he comes up to the glass, and he's banging on the glass like the dumb ape he is."

"It will bang its hands bloody trying to get the banana."

"How is that funny?"

"It's funny 'cause he can't get the banana."

Just like the seeds in s15, it's about writing, or rather questioning the way they have written things in the past. Frank insists withholding the wanted thing is hilarious, and Charlie questions it.

Like in Still in Ireland:

"Oh. I should eat it again. Then it would be funny 'cause I didn't learn my lesson."

"No, that wouldn't be funny. It'd just be kind of dumb, you know."

Deriving humor from the characters never learning their lesson, being beaten down by the narrative, never getting what they want. Which is a key component of the classic sunny structure. The meta is questioning it, probably because there's many things RCG wants to do that would go against this. Just like the Shelley arc in s15, after all.

In the end, the characters are allowed to understand each other, looking each other in the eyes as the circle of life plays.

The Gang Solves Global Warming

Talk of an imminent crisis. People are gonna revolt soon (like the audience for Thundergun), and the bar (which has often been used as meta to represent the show) doesn't have enough resources to accomodate everyone.

"We didn't have enough to accommodate the people that were here before, and now it seems like we've doubled in size and we just don't have enough."

"Where is your God now?"

"He will reveal himself at some point."

"Oh. Well, is he gonna do it before all these people revolt and destroy the place?"

"I don't know, Frank. I don't question God's will. If he wants to destroy the Earth, that's on him. I support it!"

Could refer to both RCG's burnout as well as not having enough time. Either way, it leads to disaster.

Mac talks about God's plan, something that is predetermined and thus cannot be changed.

"Guys, we don't really have to worry about global warming, because... yes, is the Earth getting unbearably hot? Of course it is. But it's all a part of God's plan. Look, if God wants to roast us like turkeys, there's got to be a good reason for it."

Mac acknowledges that the plan that is locked in is leading to a horrible unbearable outcome, but still insists there's nothing they can do to change that ending.

"See? It's all a part of his divine plan, Dennis. And that's locked in, so we're good."

"Okay, so all we have to do is nothing?"

"No. No, because... we have free will, Dennis, which means that we have to take the necessary steps to make sure that that plan comes to fruition."

"Which is predetermined."

"Yes."

"But it doesn't matter what we do if it's all predetermined. You see how your argument... doesn't make any sense?"

Just like the structure, this plan doesn't allow the characters to change anything, and it only leads to eventual doom. Or imminent death.

Paddy's Has a Jumper

There is a man who wants to end his own life on the roof of Paddy's, and the gang uses an algorithm to try to determine whether they should do something about it.

So there is a threat of imminent death, and through the algorithm (like the structure), they have to decide how to proceed, only the algorithm eventually leads them down a path they are not fully comfortable with, pushing Bryan off of the roof.

The episode starts with them watching an episode of a show on TV, and being surprised by a twist (a marriage proposal... thinking of dennis' shell that can only be broken by marriage... anyways). The algorithm decided they would like this show, but we learn at the end that they didn't (once again, the audience revolting, whether it be thundergun fans or patrons at the bar).

At the same time, it's repeated that this algorithm takes the emotions out of decisions:

"So, guys, I think I have a way that we can solve this argument without human emotion mucking it all up."

"I don't need your opinions. Okay? 'Cause based on the analytical conclusions that we draw here, we're gonna be able to come up with a mathematically-accurate, non-emotional answer to all of our questions. Okay? We just need to think like a computer."

"Well, it still feels a little weird, but feelings are irrelevant in the face of facts. Is that what I'm hearing? The feelings... feelings just get in the way."

I remember when this episode aired, people interpreted Cricket getting the casaba melon in the end as David Hornsby writing the finale of the season, Big Mo. The casaba representing the show, plus the talk of "helping Bryan die" and "crashing the casaba melon" with him catching it sounded a lot like "ending sunny", which plays both into Big Mo tricking us into thinking sunny was ending, and later acting like the finale to classic sunny. One last season following the old structure before RCG allows themselves to change things up in way that could be risky in fan reception.

This whole episode, with the discussion on Bryan, the egg, and the casaba, reads like RCG deciding on what to do with the show. Do we end it? Do we change it? What makes the most sense vs what do we want to do?

"And then we could be known as a suicide bar, and that's no good." "I don't want to be that." "Yeah, kind of grim." "I'd probably take my business elsewhere." "You don't have business." "What, uh, what if you lean into that, though?" "Like, you don't make it grim, but you make it playful."

This decision they keep hinting at could shift the tone of the show forever, and potentially "drive away business".

So they want to try to decide on it by sticking to what works mathematically, in this case the algorithm, however... it doesn't reflect their feelings.

"Uh, yeah, I know, but mathematically we were supposed to kill a man today."

"Maybe that's, like, part of the problem of, like, taking the humanity out of decisions."

"Perhaps the science just isn't there yet."

When it comes to exploring the canon of sunny, there is a lot that, if the normal sunny structure were to be used, would never be explored in an emotionally satisfying way, which is what RCG ultimately wants to do. I remember when Mac Finds His Pride first came out, Rob kept insisting "the characters change, but they don't evolve", and when faced with so much criticism about the episode not feeling like sunny, he answered that "he decides what feels like sunny, because he's the writer".

I quote:

"What was the reaction like to your epic dance number in the season 13 finale?

MCELHENNEY: It was both negative and positive, which is one of those things we talked about. It’s great to surprise people and have them not have any idea what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. I have people saying, “Oh my God, I love this, it’s one of the best things you’ve ever done,” and then I have other people saying, “You’ve destroyed my show, you’ve ruined it.” And I’m like, “Great!” That’s exactly what we should be doing on the show, is we should be destroying somebody’s idea of what Sunny is on a regular basis. OLSON: It was kind of weird just how many people would just blatantly comment on his body and to me, and we were like, “What would happen if they were commenting on my body to you? Like, ‘Ahh, Kaitlin’s chest…’” MCELHENNEY: A lot of people didn’t like it. Because a lot of people felt like it didn’t fit into the lexicon of what the show is. And I can’t say that they’re wrong, but the difference is that I get to dictate what the lexicon is and they don’t, and that’s a part of the experience."

This episode is also where a lot of explosion talk happens, with Mac and Dennis mentioning they crave it, and the way they want to reach it is by destroying the casaba melon (which as we've established represents sunny).

In the end, it's discovered it's where Frank hides his weed ("I don't think you have to hide it, man"), and Frank reveals it's also "full of loads".

A Woman's Right To Chop

An episode fully about choices and their perceived life altering consequences. Dennis and the rest of the boys want to control what other women decide to do with their hair, Dee defends their right to do it. There's talk of tradition and "upsetting the natural balance of things". The tradition thing will be brought up again in the finale of s15.

I wonder if Poppins could also be considered a metaphor for the show itself. Very old, but full of potential new life that, if let out, could kill them.

Either way:

(Talking of Keri Russell) "Millions of adoring fans, hit television show, you know, and then she went and did this." "Shocking, isn't it? With this one tragic decision, Keri Russell alienated all of her fans, she got her show canceled, and man, she was never heard of ever again."

Frank's talk about cutting all of his hair and losing it forever due to this drastic decision also fits. Burping from his backed up valve due to missing what he lost, the hair that never grew back ("And you're not just giving up being at the top of the leaderboard at some, you know, laser-amusement-themed park, man, you're talking about giving up everything. Everything. Everything we built. Everything we worked so hard for.").

Waiting for Big Mo

And we're finally at the finale for season 14. This episode was structured to trick the audience into thinking the series was ending with its walking out. Not only that, but it's a key episode for meta interpretation of these two seasons.

"Time to end the game" echoes Escapes' "And so the game begins". Because it references the same thing, the game being the show itself.

This is reinforced by the gang saying "it feels like they've been playing it forever", "they never win anything" and that "they get to go crazy at the end of it".

But if the game is sunny, what is the base they're trying to defend? That is the structure.

"Just guard the base, man."

"Kind of sick and tired of guarding the base. What if we go out there, run around? I want to go out there and have some fun, man."

"We gotta guard the base. That's what we always do, and that's what we figured out works a long time ago. Plus, we're waiting for Big Mo."

Dennis is desperate to hold the base and protect it because it's what they've always done, and because Big Mo is threatening to take their place on the leaderboard.

If they were to go out, run around and explore, they would go down the leaderboard, and that is exactly what happens.

"Oh, Charlie, you got to get out there with us. It's so fun. We're finding all kinds of corners of this place that we've never explored before."

"Yeah, I'd love to, I really would, but we're actually... we're losing right now."

An article from season 13 times about "Mac Finds His Pride" reads:

“Some of the uncharted waters, if you want to call them that, were genuine emotion,” Day said on a 2018 Television Critics Association panel. “Once we stumbled on the episode becoming more about Frank being more tolerant and accepting something, we thought, well, this is something we haven’t really done. Our characters rarely change or learn.”

To me, this dissatisfaction is something they felt for a while, and the first time they started really having fun with it again was when they decided to have Mac come out, in Hero or hate crime specifically. That is, because until then, the characters being incapable of change was part of the structure of the show. Something that allowed no wiggle room. But the audience making themselves heard after Goes to hell came out showed them it didn't have to be that way, necessarily.

It didn't come without struggle though, this interview from TheWrap reads:

GLENN HOWERTON: "He’s out (Mac). It’s definitely a big deal for us. I never thought we would do that. … I was against it at first, and the reason I was against it was his character has always been an opportunity to satirize a particular attitude, that still sadly exists, that there’s something wrong with being gay. And I think that it was important to me at least to maintain that level of social satire which is such a big part of the show to me: taking an attitude, taking a point of view that exists in our society, and giving it to one of our characters and sort of blowing it out of proportion. Watching the inevitable outcome of the most extreme version of that point of view. That’s always been my M.O. in terms of the writing of the characters. And to me there was always such a darkly comical and sad element to having this character continue to deny his own sexuality because of the societal pressures that he put on himself… that he had internalized. So I never wanted him to come out of the closet because I thought that to me is… showing just how deep that mentality goes. And despite all the evidence and despite all the support of his friends, the man will still continue to deny his sexual orientation. But then I got to a point where I realized, I’m holding too hard and fast to that rule. And I think we have made plenty of jokes in that arena. We’ve satirized that to death. What sort of possibilities does it open up when that character finally does come out of the closet? Which is why we decided to have him come out once and for all."

Mac coming out forced RCG to reassess to which level the characters were in fact allowed to change.

This article from 2019 has him saying:

“we wanted to make sure that even though the characters might change, they don’t evolve. We wanted to make sure that he (Mac) doesn’t become a better person or a sweeter person or more endearing person or a nicer person. We felt like we wanted to still keep the tone. So I would say, in all the right ways, things remain exactly the same.”

And the amount of change the show as a whole was allowed was something they've grappled since, and something I'm pretty sure caused Dennis Double Life (I mean, Dennis being mindnumbingly bored at how everything stays exactly the same - like his own apartment - but running away at the possibility of change, with the RPG "on the table"...).

Anyway, during the whole episode, the others keep wanting to quit the game for good, because the way Dennis is making them play is miserable, and they'll only be allowed to have fun at the end.

"I actually got an idea. Like, what if you guys don't play the game up in the air ducts this time, but you go down on the floor? Where everyone's having all the fun?"

"They look like they're having so much fun playing laser ta..."

"Will you shut up?! This isn't about having fun. Okay? This is about staying alive and winning."

Dennis (in true double life fashion from him...) places this dilemma like an impossible choice: either you stay alive, miserable, and win, OR you have fun and eventually Big Mo (imminent death) gets you, and you're forgotten. He doesn't see the answer in the middle, which Charlie is quick to point out: playing the game AND having fun with it, not caring how it affects "how well they're doing".

Eventually Dennis learns about what really happened to Larry Takashi (aka Larry David), and the whole gang, for a moment, agrees to "end the game", aka end the show. This was obviously a fake show ending, finishing with them saying "they're never going anywhere". But why is that? Because instead of guarding the base, they decided to play by their own rules.

As such, Big Mo still acts like a show finale, to what Sunny was prior to this decision.

This brings us to...

Season 15

Introduced with the trailer description as "new era, same egos",

Predictably, this season ends up "breaking the bounds" of philly, to travel all the way to Ireland. As Big Mo had announced, they "went out to explore"... but literally.

What happens next is the natural first step of exploration, aka reassessing your own identity.

Season 15 isn't the "franchise rebooted" just yet, it is experimentation. Experimenting with how far they can push things, getting comfortable with the new structure (of a season arc, and otherwise).

With an end comes a new beginning, and a question, what is sunny now?

So, the theme of identity touches every single character on its own, each with their personalized arc that ends with the character coming out changed in some way. This is why to me season 15 is transitional. The show, the characters, are finding new footing. This is especially true for Dennis, whose character has been intrinsically linked to sunny meta for a while now, but I can't fully get into that here (or I would derail the section. I get into it later a bit. also I have gotten into it before tho, though the post is slightly old so some parts may not hold up).

Some characters attempt to cling to their roots, others run from it.

All in all, this season challenges each character on one fragment that always defined their identity, and has them come out of it with a new understanding.

As a matter of fact, this is, to me, the first season where all the characters are actually allowed to develop.

Trying to keep to the point before we get into each episode, here is the arc that each character goes through:

MAC: At first, he is compartmentalizing his own identity. Depending on what he feels is the dominant one, he feels he has to act accordingly, and every single decision is dictated by this. He places great importance on his irish roots, when all of a sudden, this belief is challenged when it is "discovered" that he's "actually dutch". This sends Mac into a spiral, trying to determine what really defines him now that his roots are out of the question. He can't reconcile the fact that different aspects can coexist in a singe person, hyperfocusing on one at a time. Until it's revealed in the finale that he is in fact irish, and Dennis and Charlie tricked him. ("So you thought you'd just unravel my entire identity?" "Nothing's unraveled! We didn't unravel anything! You're still you! You've always been you!"). So what does Mac gain from this arc? Another shamrock tattoo... no, I'm kidding, he gains security in his own identity outside of outside validation. For a moment he experienced what it was like to have everything you thought you knew about yourself be shattered, and what it gave him was an awareness that you're still you even in the face of change, and a determination to stand his ground. All in all, to me, his character is the one who actually changed the least (makes it counterproductive that I'd talk about him first...), which is why season 15 throws him for a loop. RCG already had him where they wanted as far as development goes at the start, due to the fact he was allowed to develop in past seasons as well, so what they did instead was bring him back to a previous point, reawakening his insecurity in his identity. He thought he knew pretty well who he was, until he didn't. And then he's sure again. What this did was have him see that it really didn't matter in the end, he was always him. Another thing this arc did was set him free from his dad's shadow for a moment, as he got another last name. That's because, as the gelled back hair would remind you, he's always looked up to and wanted to prove himself to his father. As MFHP marks the climactic point of Mac trying desperately to have his dad understand his identity, and failing, Jumper shows us that he still thinks of his name in a positive light or at least tries to defend it still ("My dad's name is an homage."), like he's still in denial. In a way, by assigning him the Vandross last name for a while, he was allowed to cut ties with his own name and exist as someone else, only to come to the conclusion that nothing really changed about himself, and he shouldn't stress about identity so much.

DENNIS: In many ways, Dennis' arc is the foil to Mac's. Unlike Mac, Dennis doesn't want to hear a single thing about identity. He doesn't think it should play a role in the decisions you make at all, in fact he thinks no action you take can ever define your identity, and you are whatever the hell you say you are, regardless of where your heart's taking you. Now, on some level, his argument may appear reasonable, or at least more grounded than Mac's. It's true, "Identity doesn't have to factor into absolutely every decision you make.", and you do have power over how you define yourself at the end of the day. Dennis being Dennis, however, we all know the extreme to which he's taking this. He is drowning in denial. Refusing to accept reality at every turn. He doesn't have covid, he's just allergic to sheep wool, and the castle looks great, it's not decrepit. So, Dennis starts the arc with one main ambition: have an authentic experience. He's obsessed with things being true, being tampered with. This is also a season theme, in general (the burning of the shredded documents for example), which again plays into how Dennis meta is almost always show meta as well, but I digress. He forces himself to do things the european way, effectively running away from his roots entirely. The opposite of Mac. Throughout the season however, things escalate. He gets worse, and he starts doing things the old way regardless (like driving the wrong, but right for him in philly, side of the road). It reads like he's trying to negate his actual authentic nature, while being driven insane by the perception of others doing this as well. He wants things to feel authentic, he just can't figure out how, because he can't see as he's blinded by all the denial that's literally almost killing him (you could say he's been trying to pull the wool over our eyes...). It's hard to define in this arc which exact aspect of his identity is challenged, because it's all of them. As the finale states, his whole "essence" is broken, his back, you know, the structural foundation of every person, ("You've always said that your back has the symmetry of the Vitruvian man, and it's the foundation of your structural essence.") the structure of the show, the structure of Dennis. This is another way in which it is a foil to Mac, as he is already secure and open about who he is exactly, while Dennis denies all of it. They're like opposite extremes for how to tackle the structure, and the answer of course lies in the middle. (wink. see I told you it's impossible to write impartial sunny meta, because macden is intrinsic to it... anyway). By the end of his arc however! Dennis has admitted to himself that he had covid. Almost dying from sheer denial gave him enough of a scare to cut that out, if you will, and I can't tell you what the new Dennis will be like or what he has gained besides the lack (or decrease) of denial, because his change is the most fundamental. He will probably be further redefined in season 16. All his identity was impacted.

DEE: This one's easy, what is something that has always defined Dee's identity, to everyone and herself? (Clip Show: "Dee, are you a successful actress?" "Oh, I could have been." "Dee, be serious! Yes or no?" "No.") Since always, she has wanted to be an actress. Finally, she gets the once in a lifetime opportunity to be just that. Earlier in the season, it is hinted especially with her acting classes that what he really wants is to have power and control. This of course echoes what we've seen of her in season 14 (and prior), she comes up with the plans, pulls the strings, prefers to be the director. However, what does an actor do? Follow orders and directions. Previously, she fell into this role due to her search for validation. This is shown with her literally begging the director to have a role. Her arc shifts her character from looking for others' directions, permission and validation to gaining agency (which even echoes thundergun 4! "So, you... you want the female characters to have less agency?") by crushing the possibility of her becoming an actor, her last chance, all the while showing her how miserable it truly is to have to follow everyone else's lead. Anyway, now that the actor fragment of her identity is put to rest, she is free to redefine herself and take charge. Additionally, Sinks in a Bog may have also started a thread to redefine the way she sees female allyship, in fact I think it was the central theme of the episode for her. Thinking back to Making Paddy's Great Again, she was willing to get rid of a perfectly fine new gang member in favor of Dennis, just because she was a woman which made her feel threatened. In Thundergun 4, similarly, she feels threatened by the new female character, and wants other women to be below her, is always in competition with them. Bog puts her in a situation of need where only the Waitress, another woman, can help her. In the end, she lets the Waitress sink in order to get out, but the episode still forces Dee to face a situation in which women working together is the only viable way to get out of trouble. I don't think this specific arc is finished yet for her, but I wanted to mention it still.

FRANK: Another easy one. Thanks to MFHP and the discussion surrounding it by RCG, we know that the role of Frank in the gang is that of surrogate father. However, just because we the audience know, does not mean he does. Frank as a character dismisses responsibilities such as "being a dad". He may show the occasional tender affection towards Charlie, but those moments are far in-between, and when asked if he's Charlie father, he has run from it in the past. We, like him probably, always assumed in the end that he was indeed Charlie's biological dad, despite the lack of test. Season 15, of course, puts a wrench in all of this. This is the fragment of Frank's identity that gets challenged, his fatherhood. Not just to Charlie, but to Dennis as well, which he ends up treating as a "rebound son" and bonding with while he is separated from Charlie. Frank has always kept people at a distance, and almost losing Charlie reminds him to treasure what you have, otherwise you run the risk of losing it. By the end of the season he's almost flipped, in that he is willing to show Charlie that he is "useful", to make himself worthy of being in his life, instead of expecting it. What he gained, in my opinion, is feeling comfortable with the idea of being a father. Actually wanting it. Finally stepping into the role of "the gang's surrogate dad" that has been preannounced ever since MFHP. So that's how his identity was impacted. Not saying he's gonna become dad of the year, just that he's now open to seeing of himself as a dad at all.

CHARLIE: He is the protagonist of the season, the one that gets to have the big emotional beat of the finale, and as such I've left him for last here, because there's more to chew on. Charlie isn't setting out to do anything when he arrives in Ireland. He's pretty content in how things are and who he is, he's just along for the ride... or so he thinks. By finding out the existence of his actual biological dad and meeting him, he is confronted with a whole world of... everything he's ever wanted. Suddenly, what he had before doesn't cut it anymore. He wasn't looking for this, but as he stumbles on it, he realizes quickly that it's everything he's been missing out on his whole life. He wants to start fresh with his dad, wants to learn more about his roots, he is ready to abandon the life he thought he was content in, because he sees how incomplete it actually was. Only... that's not how life works. You cannot alter the past. You can only impact the future. ("The first time round is a bitter pill, but the second chance is better still") He cannot make up for all the lost time and chances, because his dad dies. ("You weren't there! And I needed you! I needed you there. You were supposed to carry me!") The finale says it best: "I'm glad you're dead. Now I don't have to spend the rest of my life waiting for you to pick me up." Charlie, like Dee, is allowed to move on from a fragment of his identity that was weighting him down. He's allowed to let go of his need to know who his real dad is, and is rewarded with the knowledge that he does have people who care for him despite everything. His identity is thus also redefined: he's no longer waiting to know who his "real" dad is, because he knows what makes family real.

In a way, this is the "Big Mo" we'd been waiting for. Despite the apparent negative outcome of the trip overall, the team underwent successful arcs that ended with them all together in the bar, deciding to go back up there on that mountain and help Charlie finish the job ("No hesitation, no surrender, no man left behind!"). Just like a sports team getting "in the zone" and starting a winning streak by working together really well.

So, lets get into the episodes.

2020: A Year in Review

Talk of wanting to set off fireworks in the bar to celebrate.

Obviously, this refers to how sunny passed the record as longest running sitcom with its fifteenth season, but let's also look at the dialogue:

"What if we let off some fireworks in here, huh?"

"Fireworks in the bar?"

"It's never been done before. Right? That could be kind of good, right?"

"You'll burn the place to the ground."

The kind of explosion Charlie wants to set off because "it's never been done before" (echoing Big Mo... exploring new things) could potentially destroy the bar... which, as always, is a metaphor for the show.

The evergreen bar = show metaphor doesn't stop here however.

The gang is expecting a "huge potential investor" and they're gonna try to ask him for a loan for Paddy's pub.

In the past year they've asked for, and gotten, plenty of them for their own little side ventures/failing businesses, and now they want one for their main thing, the bar.

He's not there to give out PPP loans though, what the guy is actually there to do is collect on the ones already given.

Here's how I interpret this. Think of every season a show is given, as a small loan of a set number of episodes that they will then use to tell their story.

Throughout the years, sunny has been given plenty of these, and rarely has it used them to explore a lot of canon, because of the structure of the show that didn't really allow for it.

This is the same sentiment as Escapes, the fear of not being allowed more time, more seasons, to actually do all the stuff they want to do, that they were saving for "the end".

Because as the man hears all the ways in which they have wasted the previous given loans, he obviously doesn't give them another one for their actual main business venture.

So, Mac and Dennis decide to get involved with the election, and as such their loan is for tactical gear, but they end up getting sidetracked entirely, running their own separate poll where people get to vote, while also getting back to their initial thing of singing together.

"Now, the labeling... in hindsight, was a bit obtuse and created a great deal of confusion."

"It kind of backed up the whole system."

"Right. Yeah, there was a whole kerfuffle... I don't know if you remember this... about, like, what votes were supposed to be counted and what votes aren't gonna be counted. And are these legitimate votes, are these not legitimate votes? What's this, what's that? I mean, we put our boxes all over the damn place. So, you know, we created a mess."

This ep also has the whole running out of materials thing that Global Warming did for when Charlie and Dee are making masks and it's hard to meet the demand.

"Um, so, hey, listen, um, listen, we really do believe that with a major cash infusion, we could turn this bar into something..."

"No, no, no."

"...even more successful than it already..."

Thankfully, as we've covered, they managed to get four seasons, I'd say that's a pretty big loan that can only be justified if you have some sort of plan... to "turn this show into something even more successful than it already is".

Or perhaps just to do something so altering that it's potentially show ending, without the fear of getting cancelled immediately.

The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 7

As this episode has the gang directing a set, it's easy for some elements to mirror the making of sunny, as that's the intended thing in the first place. (stuff like "We could make this more of an art house film. I'm open to it.", whereas in Thundergun 4, their role was that of the audience, which is why there Mac goes "I hope they don't show us some boring art house movie.").

There's talk of a big bang, "I'm sick of getting jerked around, I'm ready to explode".

They start to redefine who the "villain" of the story actually is, something that will also come up later in Mac's discussions about God with Gus. The concept of a vengeful God set out to send a catastrophe to smite and punish them. Like Global Warming. An imminent death, in this case in the form of a tidal wave, an act of God.

I think it's interesting how throughout these seasons, this talk of a "big event", an explosion, is both talked of as a huge catastrophe, yet something that is deeply craved.

Reminds me of Chop, again:

"They're clearly bored and lonely and needing to do something extreme in order to make themselves feel special." "Take this one for example. You don't get a monkey cut like that unless you're broken inside."

A chop, an action that's so drastic it could potentially destroy everything they've built...

"Out of the smoldering ashes, however, I pieced together a cautionary tale. An exploration, not of what is gained by learning, but of what is lost by staying ignorant."

They can't change the past (the first time round is a bitter pill), but they can embrace the future (the second chance is better still), taking what feels like "smoldering ashes" and exploring the lost potential that staying ignorant left them with. In the case of season 15, Charlie couldn't stay with his father and all he was left with was the missed chances ("You weren't there! And I needed you! I needed you there. You were supposed to carry me!"), but in the midst of this, Frank learned the importance of his role as a father (and then we find new seeds to sow, to grow our love we didn't know).

The Gang Buys A Roller Rink

As always, the bar = show metaphor makes a reappearance.

This one is packed, but to summarize, this as well is about falling back in love with something. Or rather... the first half of it. The falling out.

Imagine you've been with something your whole life, you start forgetting why you kept choosing it to stay in your life (reminds me of dennis being asked by he lives with mac in clip show...), you slowly grow bored of it as you realize that it has never changed. You've kept it exactly the same.

You think that means something has to change, something has to give.

You fantasize about how different things could be... that's the roller rink. The roller rink serves the same purpose as them going to Ireland... going as far away from their base as possible, because of this need for change.

Except...

"Don't it always seem to go That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot"

Once again, the implication being that they stuck with it for so long for a reason. The show, that is. Or the bar.

But that's not all this episode talks about to me.

Because it shows the gang acting very uncharacteristically, especially in regards to Dee.

"You know, Dennis looks like Jerry Seinfeld."

"Thanks, man. Yeah, that's kind of what I was going for."

"I don't like how mean they are to each other on that show."

"Aw, Sweet Dee. So pure of heart. You know?"

"Hey, when you going to Hollywood, Dee?"

"Tomorrow. Yeah, this is my last night in Philly. I'm actually super nervous."

"Oh, you got nothing to be nervous about."

"No, you're gonna do great out there, sis. They're gonna love you. You just have so much natural charisma, and you're so funny."

"Such a good-hearted person. Guys, thank you so much for not making fun of the size of her feet. They're very big."

"Oh, no, dude. I would never make fun of her physical attributes."

"Look at her go, man."

"Yeah, she's really flying, huh? Imagine if she didn't have to slow down for her friends."

"She doesn't have to. No, no, no. I... When she asked me to tighten her skates, I secretly loosened them, you know, 'cause real friends don't slow each other down, right? They help them soar."

These are all very "unsunny" moments typically ("I need their aggression at a ten"), especially in the context of the episode where we're meant to read the roller rink stuff kind of as anti-sunny... but something sticks out to me, and it's the last example I brought up.

Normally, it wouldn't fit the sunny structure, and yet we know that's not true, or at least... not anymore. Not always. They did come back for Charlie in the finale.

This is also lampshaded in Goes to Ireland:

"That's exactly what we did."

"Because we wanted to be supportive."

"No, you didn't!"

"Because we are always there for each other."

"No, we're not!"

"Right, guys?"

"In good times and in bad."

It's possible that's one way in which the previous structure didn't allow RCG to do what they really wanted to. Because the gang is not supposed to be there for each other normally, we know this, and yet it's been happening more and more in recent seasons.

Anyway, by having the roller rink part feel so unlike sunny, I think it's yet again addressing this fear that changing too much could lead them to... that. To straying too far away from what they had, only to find out it was already perfect.

Not to mention, they only get into this discussion at all because they just found out the roller rink is closing down.

"I mean, you know, doesn't quite have the same pageantry as a roller rink, but, uh..."

"Well, there's a palpable sadness in here."

This concept of pageantry coming back from A year in review.

"This guy's a huge potential investor. He could give Paddy's tons of money."

"I know, we need pageantry. We need, uh..."

So in a way, its closing down reminds the gang of all the lost potential, of their initial dreams, reminds them of all the things they said they'd do with the place.

This concept of potential... is something that I feel comes up a lot too. Whether it's the potential of new life with the puppies and the seeds, or something more abstract like them looking at Paddy's ("But that said, I mean, you know, it's got potential. It doesn't have to be this, right? We could gut this place, make it totally our own, right?").

The Gang Replaces Dee With A Monkey

Sigh. This one starts really on the nose.

"No. No, no. This can't be happening. I-I-I'm too young. No, why are you doing this? I don't want to change. I don't want to change. Oh, God, it's hot. It's always so goddamn hot. Someone's got to crack a door or a window. Oh, God, no. It's all happening too fast. I had plans, and they were perfect plans. This is just all too soon!"

We start the episode with, again, change, that is leading to losing something, running out of time.

Anyway, talk about wanting to go out, to experiment, and yet again the gang talking about where to go and trying to decide looks a lot like how a decision would be made inside a writer's room. Down to the use of a whiteboard, actually.

Now, about the monkey.

"See? Great, huh?"

"No. No, not great. Ridiculous. You think a monkey can run a bar?"

"Run a bar?"

"It would be great if we could hire more monkeys to do our job for us while we're gone. Like, a team of monkeys who run the bar, you know what I mean?"

"I do have to admit, though, it-it is a little disappointing to, um, discover that a team of primates could do our jobs for us, but..."

To me it sounds like the over reliance on a predetermined system, when writing, often lead to a feeling that RCG's own input wasn't as needed to make decisions, because they already know what works. To the point that a monkey could do their job. In a way, like the algorithm.

"And, uh, everybody write down a destination on the napkin, and then we'll put that destination in this bowl right here, I'll pick one out, and that way not one of us decides ...but we let fate take over. What do you guys think about that plan?"

They are... once again, in the position of having to take a decision. Like Escapes, getting lost in the specifics because they can't agree on them.

Unlike the previous examples however, this is suggesting the complete opposite approach to using a structure.

And it continues:

"You know what, guys? I'm having a lot of fun here. Uh, but I do want to figure this out, so, new plan. All right, here's what we're gonna do. Instead of writing down places, why don't we write down key words? Or phrases, you know? Let's go with our instincts, you know? Whatever we want to feel, whatever we want to experience on the vacation, okay? And then we'll put it up on a board. We'll look at it all together and then maybe the destination will just reveal itself to us."

Like the anti-algorithm, which took emotions out of the equation, this method instead prioritizes them in decisions. And much like Dee Day, the boys took the complicated route, Dee took the simpler one, but they all ended up on the same outcome. Ireland.

Another thing that season 15 introduces...

"You're just being honest about how you feel."

The theme of feelings is now accompanied by that of honesty, of authenticity.

"You're making me realize something here. Maybe this doesn't have to be a scam. What I mean is, [...] I can control you. I can make you feel however I want you to feel, which will help you be a better actor. [...] Oh, that's real power. Way more power than just acting, and I think that's what it was probably all about for me, you know? I just... I was searching for a sense of control."

And of control. People often do something drastic to look for a sense of control.

"And if we can't stop them from making stupid and selfish choices, then we need to give them a place to go to be stupid and selfish." (Chop)

The experimentation, the exploration of feelings, that's what they really wanted.

"You weren't looking for the gay thing. But it gave you a sense of something bigger than yourself."

Something that makes writing sunny exciting... the ability to make us feel whatever they want. By embracing feelings.

But what has authenticity got to do with all this? Well, whatever it is that they're planning to do, something drastic and potentially catastrophic, I think there was genuine fear that it wouldn't be authentic to the show. That it would stray too far.

Think once again of the algorithm.

First, they had to decide if it was something feasible... Something they can actually pull off (Could he?). Then, they had to decide if it was something that would actually happen, within the show (Would he?). And finally, they had to decide if they actually wanted to go through with it (Should we?).

This method was supposed to determine if something fits the canon of sunny, and thus is allowed to be written in.

For this specific thing that seems to trip them up (rolling my eyes because I'm trying to be unbiased here but... come on. well either way, it works for many decisions, like charlie's father, for example), perhaps they kept getting stuck in each of those points of the algorithm, putting it off season after season, without realizing their feelings on the matter, regarding what they really want to do.

The fear of causing sunny's death by going too far (perhaps jumping the shark) started to turn into the desire to end sunny to get to the good stuff that lies at the end quicker... until realization hit. Why end it at all? Why not just... risk it?

So... Ireland.

The Ireland Arc

I think, for the sake of my own convenience, I will treat the Ireland episodes as one big section, because I can't address them separately.

"What did you want me to do, Dee? Did you want me to rent a big obnoxious American truck like that one over there? That's exactly what we're trying to get away from. Okay, you know, the tiny car, that's all part of the charm of-of Europe. You know, like driving on the left-hand side of the road. Dangerous for Americans like you. But, you know, it's authentic and that's what I want, that's what I'm going for. An authentic Irish..."

Dennis is looking for an authentic irish experience. This, to him, includes driving a tiny car, something that's actually clearly causing discomfort to everyone. This will repeat a lot. What he's actually doing, is straying further from his true american nature.

Learning, eventually, to fall back in love with it by the end, because "We are America, sweetheart! And we carry our country with us wherever we go. Because we love her! And when you love someone, you can't bear to leave 'em behind!". I think this phrase, in particular, shows the ultimate acceptance that the gang loves each other, and it's therefore not inauthentic to sunny that they would be there for each other sometimes. It is, in fact, part of its identity. And it always has been.

Anyway, in The Gang Goes To Ireland, eventually we arrive to a cat who has died because it got stuck inside the room of Frank Fluids' headquarters.

Frank is here however to get his hands on some documents, that he needs to shred in order to cover up a lot of evidence for past events.

At the same time, Dee arrives and Dennis reveals having experience "covering up blunt force trauma", so he helps her out by redistributing the blood on her forehead.

So, they are all examples of what can happen if you let structure control you. You can end up occulting the truth in the process. Covering up the past, "repressing" the blood... letting something that's otherwise glaring go unchecked and actively hiding it. And in fact, Dennis can't smell the dead cat.

Something has gone obviously wrong by getting stuck in the room (Escapes...), and everyone else can instantly smell it except for him, because the covid prevented him from sensing the authentic smell.

To extend this though... it prevented him from seeing reality as a whole. That's why he started hallucinating, why he complained about wool, because he couldn't accept reality. And by being unable to accept reality, he couldn't experience it around him. Couldn't sense the smell of the cat, of the hair...

Still, we see s15 change things up with the canon that they probably wouldn't have done before. Charlie being able to read gaelic, for one.

"I'm gonna kill myself, Frank." "He's not really gonna do it, dude, he's just being dramatic." "Do it, bitch!" "Yeah, do it, bitch." "I'm not really gonna do it. It's just a cry for help."

Paralleling Jumper, and thus the whole "wanting to end the show just to be able to go crazy with it". Chop too...

Another thing from Chop that returns here... when Mac thought "Poppins" was sleepy and tried to jumpstart their system with the air horn. Same concept as here with the stew.

"This stew is really doing it for me now."

"Well, yeah, 'cause you're using it as food, instead of using it as a reviving mechanism."

The problem being expressed here, is that it was never about the show not being fun to do anymore per se (comparing it, for example, to a dead body you have to carry up a mountain), but rather that there was a lot of potential stuck inside that was unaccounted for. In the case of "Poppins", all the puppies. The dog was pregnant, not sleepy. In the case of the stew, they were using it to throw it in people's faces or wake them up from having passed out, and not... as food.

Anyway, the gang meets up at Patty's, yet again showing that despite being all the way in Ireland, deep down they miss home, since they picked basically the irish copy of Paddy's to hang in.

Finally, in The Gang's Still in Ireland, we're introduced to the castle.

To me... the castle represents sunny (unsurprisingly, since I'm analyzing the meta about writing sunny).

"Dee, I haven't even begun to do half the things I want to do with this castle. Now you're asking me to leave?"

Dennis insists the castle is perfect, despite the fact it's falling apart.

"Whoa. This place has a dark past. Murder, betrayal, beheadings."

"Well, you know, it's a castle, Dee. You know, people were going crazy in castles all the time. And beheading people... that was just their way of solving problems back then, you know."

Reminds me of Mac's comments towards Paddy's at the end of roller rink, palpable sadness and all that, also Big Mo with the whole "getting to go crazy" at the end. The boldened part makes me think of the old structure. The old structure dictated all the darkness and didn't allow space for exploring something in a genuine way. The old structure demands the use of the murder hole.

Dennis follows the castle's instructions, which drive him further into denial and to act unlike himsels, almost possessed. He hides behinds the painting, which to me symbolizes subtext ("I think there's another man in this room."), but in the end falls out, which follows the meta of the seeds as well, in the sense that Frank is able to get them out of his throat.

About the seeds.

"The first time round is a bitter pill

But the second chance is better still

And then we find new seeds to sow

To grow our love we didn't know"

You could think of the new era as a second chance. But perhaps it applies to the characters as well. Perhaps this plays into God being merciful (more on this later).

The point being, there was a lot of unexplored potential, of lost chances, and by embracing that instead of getting bogged down, they'll be able to build something new. Even if they have to destroy some things for it (Thundergun 4), like the established canon, or the set rules. To fall back in love with the show, by embracing the emotional side of it.

Charlie's reaction to Frank getting the seed out could mimic the audience. Getting a seed unstuck doesn't guarantee that everyone will be onboard.

"I found you, seed. Look at it. I coughed it out."

"Yeah. Gross. Yeah."

"Oh. I thought you'd be happy for me."

Frank proposes he should swallow it back because it would be funny, because that was the old way of doing things and making jokes. The gang never learning as per the structure stopped them from delving deeper. But they don't care about audience reaction anymore ("we'll jam it down their throats till they enjoy it!" "we'll force them to like it!").

"Walking this path is a serious commitment. One that requires considerable training."

"Oh, Father, look, I've been S'ing and F'ing my way through life for far too long. I think it's time that I started sucking down the words of the Bible. And instead of looking for pieces of ass, I'd just look for peace."

"Well, your language leaves a bit to be desired, but your heart's in the right place."

Mac finds the same lesson in his time in the church.

"Many of the stories in the Bible are metaphors. Parables with lessons. Look, you're looking at this all wrong. The Bible is a guidepost. Interpretations can change over time. And so can the Church. Our God, the God we teach here, is a merciful God."

So if RCG is the God in question, then the message is one of mercy ("I'm gonna save you. Unlike you, I'm not a psychopath." "And like all great plays, this one is going to have a happy ending."), unlike the God in Global Warming and Lethal Weapon 7, a vengeful God that punishes its disciples ("to smite me for the urges that He gave me when I made the original sin of being born" ...kinda poetic, because RCG as God created them and made them act as they do, for the sole purpose of punishing them, having been created for this, and they don't really have a say in it).

Most shows also have what's called a "bible", although I remember RCG saying sunny doesn't, but it does have a canon and a structure, a set way that things work and have been done, and what's being argued here is that it should act more as a guide to follow when needed...

"You have urges that, traditionally, the Church has been very clear about. Well... I have those urges, too. [...] It's not uncommon. There's nothing wrong with it. It's who He made us. But our path, this path, is very clear. We must never act on those urges."

...And discarded when not needed. In Mac's case, him being gay, following this teaching from the bible would obviously be wrong.

Also, in general, we hear a lot of bell ringing in this season, both in the context of death (when the corpse is revealed, for example), but also whenever a scene with the church starts. Bells are usually rung only in funerals and weddings, so I thought that was another neat point to the overall themes.

Same goes for them using the song "Can't fight this feeling", that's all about... well, if you've read the lyrics you know. It's all about following your feelings...

The finale also places great importance on tradition, they have to carry the corpse that way because... that's the way things have always been done, that's tradition, that's the structure. But they don't end up carrying it, using a truck instead. Fulfilling the tradition and "sending him off with some dignity" but their own way, making things easier for themselves.

Death also keeps being a looming presence, in this case because of the curse of the banshee. It is said that when you see a banshee, "the end is near". And then death does hit, with Shelley. However, it wasn't the curse that did it, it was covid. The curse wasn't real.

But the corpse tells me something else, too.

"The poor guy's dying from a banshee curse, and now he's got to deal with COVID on top of everything else?"

The corpse is the show. This is important, because there is no death they have to fear. It is already dead. They've been trying to "jumpstart the system", with stew, with the air horn, but nothing they can do to the show can kill it more than how dead it already feels. The act of writing it the old way feeling like carrying a corpse up a mountain, an act so arduous each gang member keeps leaving, and the ones that stay ask for a break all the time.

This calls to mind the time Glenn actually left, and the part where Dennis trips and lets go seems to hint at this as well.

"Could it be maybe the banshee curse? Does it have something to do...?"

"Were you not carrying it?"

"Not carr... What are you talking about, man? Not carrying it? Yeah, I was carrying it."

"Why did it get lighter?"

"Oh, my God. It looks like he was dragging his feet back here."

"Were you hanging on it?"

"No!"

"He must have tripped and lost his grip, and that's how he fell."

"Oh, goddamn it! You were taking a ride? You weren't even holding it."

Seems to be mentioning the fact that Glenn didn't write any episode for season 13 after coming back.

When Mac stops carrying the corpse, the gang mentions that it feels like he was carrying a lot of weight, which to me refers to the most recent arcs being heavily Mac centric with his coming out, probably being the most exciting thing to write about, and thus "carrying" the corpse.

"Um, can I suggest something? What if we burn the body and carry the ashes up the hill?"

"Uh, guys, can I suggest something else? Uh, what if we, uh...? Now bear with me here. What if we chop the body up? Come on. And we carry it in pieces, right?"

"Look, this isn't working, okay? Look, you don't want to burn the guy? Fine. Personally, I don't understand it, but there are other solutions to this problem, okay? Let's just chop the body up. It's already mangled."

Dennis, despite initially insisting he "thinks it's awesome" to carry the body up the mountain, quickly starts getting fed up and trying to find alternative solutions. This probably reflects the reason why the seasons got shorter. A sentiment of burnout that they probably all felt.

The role of Dennis is crucial in this, and it cannot be overlooked. The moment his back is mentioned, especially as it's called his "structural essence", he's inevitably tied to the meta of the show as a whole because of the structure, meaning that breaking the show structure hinges on breaking Dennis' structure. This isn't the only moment this is implied, far from.

A few examples in quick succession, many of which I've already explored in my old post in more depth, some that will be new because they're from S15 (do allow me the freedom to bring into the discussion the concept of "love", that gets brought up a lot, and ties with the "embracing your feelings" I've dissected plenty already):

Dennis entering and exiting the structure in Gets Romantic ("So I'm still your leading man?"). Likewise, there's a lot of recasting talk in Lethal Weapon 7 and later with Dee in S15. Mirrors him leaving for ND as well.

Dennis being paralleled to Thundergun (he finds out he has a son, and in the end he "dies", / "So, this is the midpoint twist." "What is?" "Um, ThunderGun finding out he has a son." "He has a son?" "Yes." "But how is this the twist? I mean, because he's got a kid? I mean, he's probably got a thousand kids, all the raw-dog loads he drops." / "I say give me dong or give me death." / "You weren't looking for the gay thing. But it gave you a sense of something bigger than yourself.")

Dennis being forced by Dee to remove his make up in Dee Day ("Buddy, makeup or not, you are the Golden God. It's all about what's in here." / "Today of all days, and now I'm being forced to listen to her feelings? I won't do it. And who cares about her feelings anyway? Nobody, that's who. What about my feelings? Now, that's interesting, okay?" / "This man is clearly a monster, and he will be punished accordingly.")

Dennis wanting Mac to make his own decisions instead of looking at him for answers ("Well, you didn't tell me whether I should save him or not." "But why? I mean, why do I still have to tell you what to do? [...] And why is it up to me to decide whether or not you're going to save a man's life?"), being upset that Mac wouldn't just jump in to save him. Dennis being worried about his own mortality.

Dennis being paralleled to the Jumper, with the algorithm centering on what they should do with him. Also being the one insisting emotions be kept out of it, yet constantly acting emotional. The casaba, arguably, since Dennis is the Jumper, and the casaba was meant to represent it... ("I don't think you have to hide it, man").

The salon in Chop being called <3 or death, Dennis trying to stop others from making choices reads like him regretting North Dakota ("They're clearly bored and lonely and needing to do something extreme in order to make themselves feel special"), plus the obsession with hair mirroring that in S15, insisting that cutting the hair doesn't follow tradition (structure). Dennis being paralleled to Poppins ("My dog came back!" "How the hell is that dog still alive?" "Yeah, Mac, why don't you just put that poor thing out of its misery?" "Put him down? What, are you crazy? This is my dog, Dee. I love him.") both for having kids he doesn't take care of, and for leaving and coming back.

Dennis being at the center of Big Mo, insisting they keep guarding the base because doing otherwise would lead to death, and then also being the one to say that it's time to end the game. The entire revelation that brings us to the new era started by S15 hinges on Dennis' turning point, deciding not to guard the base (the structure! ...his structure?) anymore.

"They leave but they all come back." is the credits backwards message to season 14. Parallels Dennis leaving for ND.

Dennis having covid parallels Frank's dialogue about Barbara and thus Dee's dialogue for the role she's trying for ("Overnight, she became completely irrational with the hot flashes and the mood swings and the paranoia. That was the worst. Always accusing me of having affairs.").

Dennis' obsession with things being authentic while he himself is so in denial it almost causes him to die. The castle as his facade/identity, telling him what to do, the banquet of humiliation being about punishing a dad for abandoning his child, like Dennis did ("You wine and dine the man while also pointing out all of his character flaws, and then you lure him over to the castle's murder hole." "I'm not gonna kill him or anything, but it's got to be hot enough to be annoying as sh¡t, right? You know what I mean? Yeah. Burn him. Uh, he's gonna get burned. But, I mean, Charlie's got to see him lose his cool, so we can expose him as the child-abandoning monster that he really is.")

The recent seasons have kept laying down implications regarding Dennis in particular. We all remember the Range Rover ("I got to tell you, guys, that Range Rover, that was... that was like a part of me. You know, I considered it part of my identity, really." from New Wheels) being blown up by Mac with the RPG. Without getting into the specifics of what it may be (draw your conclusions, I'll draw mine), something about Dennis' identity is being... concealed, like with make up. Been tampered with, like the hair. Covered up, like Frank's shred-and-spread. Basically, it stands to reason that his back is the one that breaks in the finale, because we may get to explore that, his identity. (And because he feels like he's being left behind by the gang...? Remember tends bar... and thundergun too, its whole motto is no man left behind and yet he dies, which goes completely against that!)

"All right, you know what, guy? Here's what I'm feeling. Forget this dude. He was a deadbeat, right? Can we just go home?"

Season/ritual finished, they return home to their roots, with a newfound love for it.

Not letting the corpse (show) get between them (RCG).

"And we carry our country with us wherever we go! Because we love her! And when you love someone, you can't bear to leave 'em behind!"

So what does this mean for season 16?

The main analysis is done.

It was my goal inside this post to speculate as little as possible, so that hopefully the meta discussed would hold up regardless. This small footnote is for me to go crazy at the end, if you will.

If you were to ask me... season 16 is the aftermath of change. Wanting to go back to the way things were, back to your roots... but you've all changed. It's you (the gang) who's different. No matter where they are now.

"It's the end of the Vitruvian era! It's over! Goddamn! Goddamn! My essence has... been ruined by tiny cars, castle beds and... Goddamn. I hate this godforsaken country!"

So, if you were to see the "falling back in love with something" as an arc, this to me may be the moment in the story where you start to realize what you've missed out on, and what you miss that you already had. Paddy's may be the same, but the gang isn't. Least of all, Dennis.

"Love I get so lost sometimes Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart When I want to run away I drive off in my car But whichever way I go I come back to the place you are All my instincts, they return The grand facade, so soon will burn Without a noise, without my pride I reach out from the inside"

Because when you love someone, you can't bear...

I wonder if we'll ever get to see the RPG fired, that's clearly the type of explosion they crave, isn't it? Sometimes in order to save something you have to destroy it...

"Dear Anna, our time apart only makes my heart grow fonder." (oh like inflation?)

I don't know. I think Dennis, like the show (since their meta aligns), will try to embrace taking decisions based on feelings rather than being cold and calculative. And I think the gang will find that very weird, and may think he's got his bell rung or it's a cry for help or "he's probably faking it".

I also think we will be introduced to the concept of a new structure. That may be the DENNIS system reworked (or just realizing how appalling the old one is, underlining how that structure doesn't work for them anymore), or it may be some method Dennis is using to try to improve his mental health (it would make sense in meta... trying ways to get better... and failing too, like the trip to ireland being a disaster, but still teaching them something along the way), "What's the first word that comes to your mind to describe us?", something like that. Attempting to redefine what was previously established in a new way that works better, that adapts to their current needs.

So we will have gone from... classic (s14), exploration and change (s15), redefining (s16).

Of course, I don't think the exploration and change is finished either. The scene with Frank and Charlie finding a bathroom (which btw... also reminds me of my spec script...) still recalls Big Mo ("We're finding all kinds of corners of this place that we've never explored before."). I think all seasons moving forward will bring up past stuff they never got into before, to some extent. They have a lot of seeds to wade through, after all. They're not running out of those any time soon. Maybe that's what the scene refers too, believability? Might be why there's all those lamps (I didn't discover this... someone smarter than me did). After all this is something they never had to battle before from the comfort of their structure, but now that they're changing things, how much can they do before it's not believable?

I'm not even gonna get into the gang gets cursed without a synopsis, there's too much at stake for me to get wrong... some thoughts were the curse of the banshee, the curse from gets trapped (indiana jones reference... also referenced in s15... ark of the covenant... the crate... "In the bible, there are passages that explain that if a man touches the ark or looks inside it when it is opened, he will die." ...hm! fascinating), the god hole... I won't. I can't. The post is already way too long.

So... this is the end.

Thank you for reading all the way to here, you're insane for doing that, but I deeply appreciate it. Leave some tags if you wants, this took me 5 days to write and I also lost some edits at the end which was like three hours of work... woof.

And please feel free to add your own thoughts and considerations about this meta, despite how long this post ended up being I'm sure I've only scratched the surface of it, especially because I had to disregard almost everything prior to s14 for the sake of staying brief (I KNOW RIGHT?), and I'm sure there's dialogue I didn't include or multiple interpretations that escaped me. It happens, this show is hefty with them. But I hope you enjoyed. Thanks.

#iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #always sunny #s16 spoilers #season 15 #season 14 #meta #analysis #macdennis #(even tho it's not really)#dennis reynolds #mac mcdonald #charlie kelly #dee reynolds #frank reynolds #again sorry for no readmore... this is like do u like the color of the sky post but for sunny. I APOLOGIZE #im so nervous to post this i hope it doesn't implode #THANK U OOMF OHHHH THE READ MORE OK OK THANKU IVE PUT IT!!!! SORRY EVERYONE #long post

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