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#I had to finish formatting this at work on my phone so if you see any issues uh… no you don’t 💖
maximotts · 6 months
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☽ 𝖕𝖑𝖆𝖞𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖌𝖍𝖔𝖘𝖙𝖘 ☾
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☾ 𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖐𝖙𝖔𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑: private hire!WandaNat
So @nats-firefly and I discussed this idea way before October, but brought it up again when I mentioned wanting to do a ph!WandaNat thing and now.. here we are.. filth amongst sleepy gays
private hire AU. kinktober masterlist. 18+ only, minors dni. you don’t need to add community labels, I’ve put adequate warnings below.
wc: 4.5k. cw: smut that starts out fluffy, but Wanda gets irritated. kinda cuddly sex. groping. fingering. punishments/attention denial. humiliation/degradation in the form of being babied. brief oral. overstim. typical Nat annoying Wanda. bratty reader bc people are always asking to see what would happen if you pushed Wanda's limits.
No outside clothes on the bed.
One of Wanda’s few house rules and generally easy to follow… until you were exhausted and she was snapping her fingers at you before you could take a second step towards her mattress.
Typically if you were too tired to seek out pajamas you’d suck it up and fall into your own bed, passing out until you gained energy to sort yourself out in the morning, but tonight was different. Your shift was long and felt even longer, filled with coworker mishaps and annoying customers that left you checking your watch every few minutes towards the end of the night. All you dreamt of on the ride home was Wanda and her warm bed, knowing she’d most likely be up despite the late hour. 
She had the tendency to worry; no matter how even-tempered she appeared, Wanda stayed up as late as she could for Natasha, and now you as well, to come home to her. You’d headed out earlier than your normal shifts, just after midnight, and with your boss always being notified the moment you left work, there was no doubt Wanda would be wide awake.
As expected, you found Wanda in her bedroom, nose deep in a book. She looked so happy to see you, you thought maybe you could skirt by her standards just this once-
“Don’t you dare get those dirty clothes anywhere near my new comforter.” 
“Wandaaaaa…” You groaned like a child, halfway to stamping your foot if you didn’t know that’d get you kicked out instantly. “I’m exhausted! It won’t ruin anything just once.”
But no amount of puppy dog pouts could make Wanda budge; the woman was so stubborn for the smallest things. You’d seen Natasha tease her for it, and even then, she stood firm; apparently there was a time when Wanda didn’t care, but once she started buying stuff of her own, she was intent on keeping it in order. “Not a chance. I can see at least three different cocktails spilled on your shirt! Get rid of the clothes or say goodnight and go to your bed.”
“So unfair…” The wardrobe across the room felt like too far of a journey, but you’d looked forward to the warmth of Wanda too much to deny yourself now. Before you knew it, you’d begun shedding your clothes, kicking them away into a lazy pile on the floor and wandering back over to your goal. 
Unexpected as it was, the sight of you tiredly stripping down amused Wanda and she didn’t stop you from sliding into bed, chuckling at your silly display of wiggling around until you successfully crawled on top of her fully clothed form. “Well aren’t you clever? Always trying to find yourself a loophole.”
“I like to think that’s what you love me for.” Tired arms wrapped around Wanda’s middle, resting your chin on her chest to gaze up at the older woman. Sleeping naked wasn’t your plan, but the act wasn’t unfamiliar, particularly in this room. Most of the time, though you got into bed wearing some kind of sleepwear, either Wanda or Natasha found a reason to take them off, anything from claiming to want a simple look to being straightforward in their desire to stake their obvious claim on you.
“I love you for a great many things, little one.” She let her book gently bop the top of your head before setting it aside on the nightstand, happy to give you her full attention. Spending the day alone wasn’t awful, but she missed you and Nat terribly, always preferring to be with at least one of you when she fell asleep.
The two of you settled into an easy embrace, Wanda drawing patterns over your bare back as you cuddled against her soft silken pajamas. Even back in silence like she’d been before your arrival, Wanda felt different, lighter, knowing she could hold you safe and her wife was on her way too. “How was your night? I got updates about some out of line people… I hope no one gave you too hard of a time.”
You shook your head, your frustrations melting away now that you were snuggled up to Wanda. It all seemed so far away while you were laid safe in your bosses’ cozy bedroom. “Nothing terrible, just felt like it lasted forever. It’s the Halloween crowd madness starting up, I think…” 
The brunette nodded and listened as you went through details, throwing in a comment or two when needed; engaged even as her hands began wandering. She didn’t realize what she was doing at first, smoothing over the indulgent feel of your delicate skin. You were always just so pliant and willing; honestly, she decided you deserved a reward for following her rules with the last bits of your energy. Wanda loved knowing you’d chosen her over sleeping across the hall; it was hard to stay firm when she was also tired of sitting by herself, but if she gave in once, she’d never hear the end of it.
It started out innocent enough that you didn’t question her, overexerted muscles enjoying the gentle massage of your ass and thighs. By the time Wanda pushed your hips up to make room for her hand, you’d been pacified into a calm state of security all you offered was a pleased hum when she stroked over your mound. “You’ve done so much today. It’s about time you let me take care of you now.”
“Mhm..” She drew you in for a kiss, fluffy and sweet, mindful of your exhaustion. Wanda was always cautious of your state of mind, her considerate coddling making it easy for her to know exactly what you needed. If you needed her to take away all memories of her bad night, who was she to deny you? 
Annoying as it’d been to be stopped on your way to bed, getting out of your work clothes did feel better and now you’d reap the benefits of choosing Wanda. Her touch was slow, sliding over center more to slowly work you up rather than to tease, like easing into a warm bath. “Thank you, mommy.”
“Of course, baby. You earned it for how hard you worked.” Her continued praise left you hiding your giggles in her chest, a dumb smile stamped on your features as Wanda dipped her first finger past your entrance. Rarely was Wanda this affectionate with you during sex, but she’d have to remember to do so more often, if only for how cute you looked right now. “I think someone likes being told they did a good job.”
“Maybe a little?” Your love of her acknowledgement was well known, there was no use denying it, but your sleepiness put you in a sillier mood— one that in turn rendered you more playful.
Oddly enough tonight, Wanda also happened to be relaxed enough to feed into it. “Something tells me it’s more than a little.” She fingered you open steadily, no rush to her movements, content to keep her mission slow for the time being. “If how desperately you’re squeezing my finger is any clue, you like it a lot…” 
You mumbled some noncommittal response, squeaking as Wanda pushed further. It was way too little, but you were unwilling to speed up whatever the two of you had fallen into, much more interested in letting Wanda do what she pleased and seeing where it went. “Fine, I do like it when you tell me you like the work I do..”
“Good girl!” This time when she kissed you, she tugged your lip between her teeth, sucking at it until the red matched the flush of your cheeks. She was so happy to have someone who caught on quickly and so easily accepted doing things her way; Natasha always put up a fight, you were a lovely change of pace. “What else would you like? Another finger?”
“Yes! Yes please!” Pretending not to be interested in that suggestion would only hurt you, the much desired stretch of her long digits too tantalizing to pass up. Low on willpower, you easily went docile, letting Wanda’s care drive away the day’s anxieties.
You wiggled happily as her second finger joined the first, legs spreading as far as you could get them. Maybe you were being terribly obvious, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when this was exactly what you’d longed to come home and experience. “I still would’ve made you take off your clothes, but if you needed this, you could’ve asked.” 
Wanda thrusted into you harder now, bottoming out each time and like clockwork your moans came in tandem. She was so deep, you already felt so full, but still your hips rocked into her hand, unabashed in trying to find the perfect angle. “Wanted you all night.. To have you hold me and make me feel good.” 
It was true; falling into bed naked would almost always lead to something like this, but the how was forever a fun surprise. Wanda misjudged your ability to plot this out, but wouldn’t apologize for her predictable handsy nature; what fun was having a girlfriend if she couldn’t keep her hands on you whenever she pleased? 
“And you didn’t feel like asking so you figured you’d wait for me?” Wanda’s fingers curled and you nodded frantically, both answering her question and encouraging her to keep going. She did it again and again, letting her fingers stay put while your desperation grew; Wanda wasn’t particularly bothered by your little con, but she’d hate to let you fully get over on her. 
Free hand traveling from your backside to your chin, Wanda grabbed your face and tapped your temple, forcing your attention. “Look at me if you’re going to properly own up to your trickery.”
Meeting Wanda’s gaze was nearly impossible with how turned on you were, her sharp green eyes against her soft, makeup free face was just so.. beautiful— and you’re hopeless with pretty women. “I’m sorry, mommy. Can I still cum?”
“You’re bold enough to think you were ever allowed without asking?” Once in a while Wanda feared Natasha was right: she bent too easily whenever it came to you. Judging as her voice may sound, Wanda wouldn’t have thought twice about letting you carry on. With how distracted she’d become with your darling behavior, the biggest reprimand would’ve been a pat on the back before letting you fall asleep on her chest as if she’d never set a single rule for you. 
Wanda hated admitting Nat was right. “Don’t tell me you’re too tired to remember how to behave.”
“No! No, I’m not, please!” Wanda might’ve been in bed before you’d arrived, but she was far from asleep and while your version of playful was sweet, hers could easily be brash. She’d discovered your plan, fine, but you hadn’t planned for Wanda feeling anything but surprised. If she wanted to, your girlfriend would torment you for hours. Enduring any kind of punishment tonight would be torturous in your already exhausted state. “I wasn’t, I promise!”
“I know, baby, I know,” she cooed, kissing your quivering lips. You whined into her mouth as her hand sped up, as if Wanda suddenly decided to hurdle you towards orgasm, and your poor fatigued brain had to fight to keep up. “Sometimes you just get so sleepy and it’s hard to remember to ask out loud, yeah?”
It was an excuse both of you leaned on, you to appear like you hadn’t meant to overstep and Wanda to be able to point at your sleep deprivation when Natasha inevitably asked why you felt so emboldened to act out in the next few days.
“I forgot, I’m sorry… won’t do it again.” The gentleness of her words always charmed you, seeing Wanda’s soft side that was reserved for only you and her wife turning you on effortlessly. “Please, so close…”
Her thumb rolled over your neglected clit and your entire body shuddered, clinging onto Wanda as tight as you could. Fortunately for her, you didn’t have enough strength to restrict her breathing. “I wish you could feel how soaked my hand is right now, poor messy thing. If I let you cum, will you make those pretty noises I love hearing?”
“I’ll do whatever you want,” The words came out smashed together, too preoccupied with Wanda curling her fingers in sync with her thumb, setting a pattern so mind numbing you didn’t realize your eyes had rolled back until the brunette dug her nails into the nape of your neck— nor did you hear Natasha walking through the door.
“How many times have I warned you not to promise her that?” 
You startled at the extra hand on your head as it ruffled your messy hair before holding you still enough to kiss your temple. Natasha smelled earthy, like she’d been hunting in the woods; a stark contrast from where you last talked to her at the bar downtown. “Three hours ago when I saw you, you told me you felt dead on your feet, but refused to be sent home too early. Is Wanda keeping you up?”
“Yes, b-but I…” All at once you were keenly aware of how vulnerable you looked laid limply on Wanda, begging to cum as pitifully as a neglected pet. Nat had seen you like this and worse too many times to count, but being caught right on the edge left you shy. 
“But she came home looking for it,” Wanda finished for you, pinching your thigh before you tried to pin your wanton display all on her. “Pajamas were too hard for our hard-worker to get to, but she wanted to sleep with me so she went with nothing because she’s smart enough to know it’s better to give me what I want.”
“More like I’ve taught her how to choose her battles when it comes to you.” The redhead didn’t force you to pull your gaze from where you hid your face in Wanda’s chest, choosing to smooth out the stray hairs she’d given you and while the gesture was sweet, both women pretty much babying you was overwhelming. 
She wasn’t wrong, having learned either firsthand or from Nat’s instruction what was worth challenging versus when compliance was mandatory; she insisted there’d be a day when she could break Wanda of her bed linen obsessions. Both reasons your bosses gave you sounded submissive to one or the other, there was no use in acting tough when they were currently fawning over you like a lost lamb…
Silly as you were, you tried. “I was just sleepy.”
“Yeah? So sleepy you were begging for my fingers? Don’t try telling me you just wanted to sleep on them.” The idea shouldn’t have affected you as much as it did, but you were adjusting before you could convince yourself not to, pushing Wanda’s fingers deeper where they’d retreated from your entrance. Nat couldn’t see it, but Wanda could feel the subtle movement, digits brought back into wet warmth you were suddenly intent on denying existed and it occurred to her then you had a bit of a stubborn streak as well.
Nothing she and Natasha couldn’t conquer though. “We just had a little chat about being upfront about what you want. Surely you’d tell me if all you wanted was to go to bed, sweetheart.”
But you were too busy throwing the comforter over your head, shrouding yourself from head to toe. “You started touching me.”
Wanda and Natasha’s dual bombardment was dizzying, enough to leave you fighting not to grab Wanda’s wrist and move it yourself. They were too observant, knew exactly what buttons to push when you were in a certain headspace; when you came home stressed like tonight, they’d seen how much better off you were after you let go, but often you needed a little help getting there.
Wanda got you close, but Nat’s sudden appearance threw you off and now she was back to square one. It wasn’t any lack of security around her -you loved Nat as much as you did Wanda and always felt safe with both of them- you, again stubbornly, always wanted to feel like you were impressing the redhead. The couple joked about it often, how quick you were to turn to Natasha and search her typically stoic face for any sign of amusement; with even the faintest hint of a smile the pair swore they saw hearts fill your eyes. “She’s had enough of you, Wanda. Give her a break.”
“Oh boo hoo,” Wanda scoffed, sticking her tongue out at the woman standing next to her, “you always go so shy around her, wanting to look cool. She can be just as submissive as you are right now, trust me.”
“I am not!” There were some things you’d see less than a handful of times in your life; a submissive Natasha was one of them. 
“There you go, denying it just as hard as this one.” Wanda laughed loud enough to jostle you, chest bubbling with laughter under your hot cheek. She went back to rubbing your back with one hand, trying to comfort you amongst her blatant enjoyment of your predicament. Still her fingers stayed between your legs, stroking your folds lazily and confirming it was the very mortification you suffered that soaked you further.
Natasha made your same mistake, presuming Wanda was too preoccupied to bother with her sheets; she got as far as a welcome home kiss from her wife before a warning once over wordlessly directed her to get rid of her dirty leather jacket and scuffed jeans. “Yeah yeah, I’m going to change. Worry about that wiggly thing you’ve got weighing you down. I think you’ve summoned a blanket creature.”
“Aww, mommy’s little ghost,” she mocked, nuzzling her head atop yours before setting her wrist back to work. You’d been on the brink of something so blissful just moments before, it was all too easy to bring you back there. Even if you insisted on hiding from her and Nat now. “What’s the matter? You were just fucking yourself silly on my hand.”
“Nuh uh,” You wanted to sound more defiant than you had, but your voice sounded shaky and small. The futile attempt only brought more laughter to the pair, having unwittingly become their nightly entertainment. 
“No? You’re not a very good liar.” One of Wanda’s most prominent shortcomings was her impatience, a facet that heavily influenced when you and Natasha backed off and let her be. Not only did you forget to account for that now, you’d taken her earlier gentleness for granted instead of recognizing it for the reward it was: two missteps you were too dazed to notice drew on her fragile patience. 
“If you admit it, I’ll drive you wherever you want tomorrow.” She was trying so hard to stay careful with you despite how close she was to the end of her own rope, but all you came back with was a bullish shake of your head. “We can get your favorite pizza and try out that milkshake bar you keep trying to drag us to-”
“Oh yes, surely bargaining with your brat of a ghost will make her behave better!” Nat must’ve wandered into the closet based on how far away she sounded, too far to argue with even if you did want to dig yourself a deeper hole by defying both your girlfriends. 
“Shut up, Tasha, you’re such a pain.” It was a muttered jab, Wanda now bored of arguing and your withdrawal. So what if she had to coax you into it, she missed watching your sweet, unguarded face fall apart before her. She tried not to hold it against you too much; obviously you were so worn out you didn’t know what to do with yourself, but she couldn’t shake her annoyance completely. 
Playing nice wasn’t working anymore; maybe you’d settle faster if she let you be as invisible as you’re pretending. “She wasn’t difficult until you got here. I think showing off to you so much is making her pick up bad habits.”
“I don’t have bad habits- fuck…!” She shut you up with a too far thrust, fingertips pressing painfully deep. You weren’t a brat, not to Natasha and certainly not to Wanda, tired hips finally trying to match the latter’s motions just to prove you were ready to be cooperative again, but you’d blown your chances for Wanda’s grace and now she wasn’t listening.
Despite your denial, Wanda let you finish for the sole purpose of making you feel how obvious of a lie you’d spun. “Ignore me all you want, but we all know what your needy little cunt was after.”
You were certain she’d shove you off, roll you over, something with how she might as well have spat her last sentence at you, but instead of the absence of her, you got more. Wanda didn’t let up for a second, pistoning in and out all while settling into a casual conversation with her wife who’d just flopped down on the opposite side of the bed.
“I-I’m…” Oh. Wanda’s thumb brushed over your neglected clit like it was nothing more than a fidget toy, flicking back and forth while you fought a losing battle over control of your body. You pawed at her clumsily, legs scrambling for purchase as you tried to lift up for just a second and break free, but all your struggles were no match for Wanda’s strength. “Mommy?”
No response. For you, at least. Wanda was busy locking lips with Natasha, a quick squeak of her own pulled as Nat nipped along the corners of her mouth. “I wish you could’ve seen all of the costumes today, Tasha. I sent pictures, but with no text back I assumed you were busy all day.” 
She had to hear you, impossible to miss with how you not only called out her name repeatedly but kissed apologies along her sternum, pleading for acknowledgement. And yet, Wanda didn’t seem to spare you a single thought. Her hands stayed firm on either side of your lower half, one splayed over the small of your back to keep you still and the other inspecting an ever-growing mess, the heavy drag of her so intense you were toeing the edge of a second climax within minutes. 
If Natasha paid you any mind, you couldn’t tell, but her sympathy was rare, always the one warning Wanda against being too forgiving. Her current affection was the only thing keeping Wanda from snapping on you entirely though, knowing as much as she was focusing on getting you ready for bed, Wanda was fighting sleep too and it was making her moodier by the second. “You should’ve taken my text back as a reminder that I don’t wear Halloween costumes, sneaky wife of mine.”
Great, both her partners chose to be difficult tonight. “Why can’t either of you just listen to me?” 
“Ohh look who’s a brat now, Wanda. Do you hear yourself?” Nat was muffled from where you were under your blanket shield, but her snark was still clear as day. 
Wanda took her mounting frustrations out physically, cruelly pulling her hand away and wrenching out of Natasha’s reach mid-kiss. The two of you shared a disappointed whine, immediately suffering the consequences of your actions, but Wanda didn’t care. “It’s for a few hours for one night! It won’t kill you, I gave you an outfit once before-”
“Put your hand back, mommy, I was so close!” 
“Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking. You know better.” Wanda did return her hand in the form of a rapid succession of slaps, the thick, wet sounds of her open palm meeting your soaked, puffy core humiliating you beyond belief. It hurt, yes, but as the sting lingered it only stoked your desire for her further and as you pinned your lover’s hand between you and her thigh, you found you hadn’t lost a single bit of your need. 
Learning from your mistake, you didn't push her, whining and pathetically getting yourself off while Wanda went back to coercing Natasha into Halloween fun. Obedience won you back some favor, three fingers now stretching you ruthlessly, second orgasm hitting you by surprise and bleeding straight into the third. 
Somewhere around then was where you lost track of their conversation, Wanda and Natasha bickering back and forth slowly being drowned out by the ever-louder ringing of your ears. Your muscles went slack, jaw hanging open, drooling onto her wrinkling pajama shirt as you relented to Wanda’s torture and the pleasure she kept you so hooked on. 
“Too much- I can’t, I can’t..!” You stammered out, fisting the mattress in a desperate plea for mercy. Everything ached, but you felt as though you were flying, soaring high above the house and into the dark city skies— and oh how you longed to fall right back into Wanda’s arms.
The older woman backed off almost too easily, returning to the gentle caresses she’d started with, “My hand’s tired, honey.” 
You thought that’d be the end of it, that you’d stay here until you sailed into pleasant dreams, but then you were being rolled over and instead of hitting the mattress, your back met the sturdy warmth of Natasha’s lap. Relaxing there was all too easy, head rolling back onto her shoulder, moving without resistance as Nat’s fingers took hold of your chin and turned it until she could kiss you, deep and greedy. “Look at you, all fucked out already… Wanda, what’d you do to her?”
“Nothing she didn’t enjoy, whether she admits it or not. ” How Wanda managed to find her way to her knees so quickly was beyond you, but you didn’t have it in you to question. Lacquered nails slowly scratched over your pelvis where you still felt so tingly while Natasha took the opportunity to massage your newly exposed breasts, four hands exploring your exhausted body. 
It was the same type of adoration you’d hid from earlier, but you were long past shying away now. You’d had more than enough of being ignored for a good while. “Hold her for me while I finish, you know how I hate messes in bed.”
Eyes you could barely manage to keep open peered past where Nat was groping you to see Wanda tie her hair back before settling onto her stomach, shuffling forward until she was close enough to nuzzle her cheek into your soft thighs. When she kissed your clit, you mewled, oversensitive from Wanda’s earlier abuse. “Mommy.. hurts..” 
“Hush, baby, I’m only cleaning you up. I’d never hurt you,” Wanda whispered it so lovingly you had no choice to concede, discovering in the next second that even if you wanted to close your legs you couldn’t, Natasha’s own holding yours apart. She licked and sucked carefully, lulling your tired brain back into blissful nothingness. 
The last thing you remember is Natasha’s deep voice right in your ear, your nipples caught between her calloused fingers as she rolled them in time with her wife’s tongue lapping at your leaking entrance. “Go to sleep, little dove, we’ll tuck you in safe and sound… and I promise to wake you up when I’m done with mommy.”
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How I got scammed
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/05/cyber-dunning-kruger/#swiss-cheese-security
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I wuz robbed.
More specifically, I was tricked by a phone-phisher pretending to be from my bank, and he convinced me to hand over my credit-card number, then did $8,000+ worth of fraud with it before I figured out what happened. And then he tried to do it again, a week later!
Here's what happened. Over the Christmas holiday, I traveled to New Orleans. The day we landed, I hit a Chase ATM in the French Quarter for some cash, but the machine declined the transaction. Later in the day, we passed a little credit-union's ATM and I used that one instead (I bank with a one-branch credit union and generally there's no fee to use another CU's ATM).
A couple days later, I got a call from my credit union. It was a weekend, during the holiday, and the guy who called was obviously working for my little CU's after-hours fraud contractor. I'd dealt with these folks before – they service a ton of little credit unions, and generally the call quality isn't great and the staff will often make mistakes like mispronouncing my credit union's name.
That's what happened here – the guy was on a terrible VOIP line and I had to ask him to readjust his mic before I could even understand him. He mispronounced my bank's name and then asked if I'd attempted to spend $1,000 at an Apple Store in NYC that day. No, I said, and groaned inwardly. What a pain in the ass. Obviously, I'd had my ATM card skimmed – either at the Chase ATM (maybe that was why the transaction failed), or at the other credit union's ATM (it had been a very cheap looking system).
I told the guy to block my card and we started going through the tedious business of running through recent transactions, verifying my identity, and so on. It dragged on and on. These were my last hours in New Orleans, and I'd left my family at home and gone out to see some of the pre-Mardi Gras krewe celebrations and get a muffalata, and I could tell that I was going to run out of time before I finished talking to this guy.
"Look," I said, "you've got all my details, you've frozen the card. I gotta go home and meet my family and head to the airport. I'll call you back on the after-hours number once I'm through security, all right?"
He was frustrated, but that was his problem. I hung up, got my sandwich, went to the airport, and we checked in. It was total chaos: an Alaska Air 737 Max had just lost its door-plug in mid-air and every Max in every airline's fleet had been grounded, so the check in was crammed with people trying to rebook. We got through to the gate and I sat down to call the CU's after-hours line. The person on the other end told me that she could only handle lost and stolen cards, not fraud, and given that I'd already frozen the card, I should just drop by the branch on Monday to get a new card.
We flew home, and later the next day, I logged into my account and made a list of all the fraudulent transactions and printed them out, and on Monday morning, I drove to the bank to deal with all the paperwork. The folks at the CU were even more pissed than I was. The fraud that run up to more than $8,000, and if Visa refused to take it out of the merchants where the card had been used, my little credit union would have to eat the loss.
I agreed and commiserated. I also pointed out that their outsource, after-hours fraud center bore some blame here: I'd canceled the card on Saturday but most of the fraud had taken place on Sunday. Something had gone wrong.
One cool thing about banking at a tiny credit-union is that you end up talking to people who have actual authority, responsibility and agency. It turned out the the woman who was processing my fraud paperwork was a VP, and she decided to look into it. A few minutes later she came back and told me that the fraud center had no record of having called me on Saturday.
"That was the fraudster," she said.
Oh, shit. I frantically rewound my conversation, trying to figure out if this could possibly be true. I hadn't given him anything apart from some very anodyne info, like what city I live in (which is in my Wikipedia entry), my date of birth (ditto), and the last four digits of my card.
Wait a sec.
He hadn't asked for the last four digits. He'd asked for the last seven digits. At the time, I'd found that very frustrating, but now – "The first nine digits are the same for every card you issue, right?" I asked the VP.
I'd given him my entire card number.
Goddammit.
The thing is, I know a lot about fraud. I'm writing an entire series of novels about this kind of scam:
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle
And most summers, I go to Defcon, and I always go to the "social engineering" competitions where an audience listens as a hacker in a soundproof booth cold-calls merchants (with the owner's permission) and tries to con whoever answers the phone into giving up important information.
But I'd been conned.
Now look, I knew I could be conned. I'd been conned before, 13 years ago, by a Twitter worm that successfully phished out of my password via DM:
https://locusmag.com/2010/05/cory-doctorow-persistence-pays-parasites/
That scam had required a miracle of timing. It started the day before, when I'd reset my phone to factory defaults and reinstalled all my apps. That same day, I'd published two big online features that a lot of people were talking about. The next morning, we were late getting out of the house, so by the time my wife and I dropped the kid at daycare and went to the coffee shop, it had a long line. Rather than wait in line with me, my wife sat down to read a newspaper, and so I pulled out my phone and found a Twitter DM from a friend asking "is this you?" with a URL.
Assuming this was something to do with those articles I'd published the day before, I clicked the link and got prompted for my Twitter login again. This had been happening all day because I'd done that mobile reinstall the day before and all my stored passwords had been wiped. I entered it but the page timed out. By that time, the coffees were ready. We sat and chatted for a bit, then went our own ways.
I was on my way to the office when I checked my phone again. I had a whole string of DMs from other friends. Each one read "is this you?" and had a URL.
Oh, shit, I'd been phished.
If I hadn't reinstalled my mobile OS the day before. If I hadn't published a pair of big articles the day before. If we hadn't been late getting out the door. If we had been a little more late getting out the door (so that I'd have seen the multiple DMs, which would have tipped me off).
There's a name for this in security circles: "Swiss-cheese security." Imagine multiple slices of Swiss cheese all stacked up, the holes in one slice blocked by the slice below it. All the slices move around and every now and again, a hole opens up that goes all the way through the stack. Zap!
The fraudster who tricked me out of my credit card number had Swiss cheese security on his side. Yes, he spoofed my bank's caller ID, but that wouldn't have been enough to fool me if I hadn't been on vacation, having just used a pair of dodgy ATMs, in a hurry and distracted. If the 737 Max disaster hadn't happened that day and I'd had more time at the gate, I'd have called my bank back. If my bank didn't use a slightly crappy outsource/out-of-hours fraud center that I'd already had sub-par experiences with. If, if, if.
The next Friday night, at 5:30PM, the fraudster called me back, pretending to be the bank's after-hours center. He told me my card had been compromised again. But: I hadn't removed my card from my wallet since I'd had it replaced. Also, it was half an hour after the bank closed for the long weekend, a very fraud-friendly time. And when I told him I'd call him back and asked for the after-hours fraud number, he got very threatening and warned me that because I'd now been notified about the fraud that any losses the bank suffered after I hung up the phone without completing the fraud protocol would be billed to me. I hung up on him. He called me back immediately. I hung up on him again and put my phone into do-not-disturb.
The following Tuesday, I called my bank and spoke to their head of risk-management. I went through everything I'd figured out about the fraudsters, and she told me that credit unions across America were being hit by this scam, by fraudsters who somehow knew CU customers' phone numbers and names, and which CU they banked at. This was key: my phone number is a reasonably well-kept secret. You can get it by spending money with Equifax or another nonconsensual doxing giant, but you can't just google it or get it at any of the free services. The fact that the fraudsters knew where I banked, knew my name, and had my phone number had really caused me to let down my guard.
The risk management person and I talked about how the credit union could mitigate this attack: for example, by better-training the after-hours card-loss staff to be on the alert for calls from people who had been contacted about supposed card fraud. We also went through the confusing phone-menu that had funneled me to the wrong department when I called in, and worked through alternate wording for the menu system that would be clearer (this is the best part about banking with a small CU – you can talk directly to the responsible person and have a productive discussion!). I even convinced her to buy a ticket to next summer's Defcon to attend the social engineering competitions.
There's a leak somewhere in the CU systems' supply chain. Maybe it's Zelle, or the small number of corresponding banks that CUs rely on for SWIFT transaction forwarding. Maybe it's even those after-hours fraud/card-loss centers. But all across the USA, CU customers are getting calls with spoofed caller IDs from fraudsters who know their registered phone numbers and where they bank.
I've been mulling this over for most of a month now, and one thing has really been eating at me: the way that AI is going to make this kind of problem much worse.
Not because AI is going to commit fraud, though.
One of the truest things I know about AI is: "we're nowhere near a place where bots can steal your job, we're certainly at the point where your boss can be suckered into firing you and replacing you with a bot that fails at doing your job":
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week
I trusted this fraudster specifically because I knew that the outsource, out-of-hours contractors my bank uses have crummy headsets, don't know how to pronounce my bank's name, and have long-ass, tedious, and pointless standardized questionnaires they run through when taking fraud reports. All of this created cover for the fraudster, whose plausibility was enhanced by the rough edges in his pitch - they didn't raise red flags.
As this kind of fraud reporting and fraud contacting is increasingly outsourced to AI, bank customers will be conditioned to dealing with semi-automated systems that make stupid mistakes, force you to repeat yourself, ask you questions they should already know the answers to, and so on. In other words, AI will groom bank customers to be phishing victims.
This is a mistake the finance sector keeps making. 15 years ago, Ben Laurie excoriated the UK banks for their "Verified By Visa" system, which validated credit card transactions by taking users to a third party site and requiring them to re-enter parts of their password there:
https://web.archive.org/web/20090331094020/http://www.links.org/?p=591
This is exactly how a phishing attack works. As Laurie pointed out, this was the banks training their customers to be phished.
I came close to getting phished again today, as it happens. I got back from Berlin on Friday and my suitcase was damaged in transit. I've been dealing with the airline, which means I've really been dealing with their third-party, outsource luggage-damage service. They have a terrible website, their emails are incoherent, and they officiously demand the same information over and over again.
This morning, I got a scam email asking me for more information to complete my damaged luggage claim. It was a terrible email, from a noreply@ email address, and it was vague, officious, and dishearteningly bureaucratic. For just a moment, my finger hovered over the phishing link, and then I looked a little closer.
On any other day, it wouldn't have had a chance. Today – right after I had my luggage wrecked, while I'm still jetlagged, and after days of dealing with my airline's terrible outsource partner – it almost worked.
So much fraud is a Swiss-cheese attack, and while companies can't close all the holes, they can stop creating new ones.
Meanwhile, I'll continue to post about it whenever I get scammed. I find the inner workings of scams to be fascinating, and it's also important to remind people that everyone is vulnerable sometimes, and scammers are willing to try endless variations until an attack lands at just the right place, at just the right time, in just the right way. If you think you can't get scammed, that makes you especially vulnerable:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security
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3lli3l0v3r · 8 days
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how soon is now? | part two
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READ THIS FIRST 🇵🇸
previous chapter. series masterlist.
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♡: hallway crush!ellie x uni student!reader
☆: the long-awaited second part of this godforsaken fic (lawd she’s given me trouble). appreciate y'all's patience as always, i'm a chronic procrastinator and perfectionist but what can i do. after this, i'm gonna take a break from this series. not saying i'll never write more, but wanna work on some other stuff for a while. thank you for reading! pretty please don’t hate me or show up at my house waving torches and pitchforks for this ending ok luv u gays in my phone. + a big thank you to @total-dxmure for helping me w/ some ideas for the last little bit!
♧:5.7k word count (lawd)
◇: sfw! miscommunication (sawry). fluffy moments, angst lowkey…both of yall cry at one point or another, reader has anxiety in the last chunk. modern au but joel isn’t alive in this, and they discuss it. maybe some rushed points here and there, i’m not really the proudest of this but needed to finish it anyway. potentially horrendous pacing but ok i think that’s all? idfk i may give y’all a little epilogue eventually, but don't dwell on it for the time being!
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4 months later 
Your friendship with Ellie was evolving wonderfully. You two were studying together frequently, and both your grades in the ghastly astrophysics class increased exponentially. Although that wasn't the only thing that was increasing at a rate too fast to fathom. Your crush on her. It was ripping you apart like wildfire, Ellie was proving herself to be such a wonderful person inside and out, and you were slowly but surely nearing your limit of how much it could build before you burst. A movie spin off of the Savage Starlight series had come to streaming, and Ellie had invited you to her place for a movie night so you two could watch it and discuss if it was a faithful entry in your beloved series or not. 
Dressed in some comfortable pjs and armed with snacks of all kinds, your favorites as well as hers, the time had come and you were at her door. You straighten your posture and put your hair back in place, must look presentable, then knock, knock, knock.
You could hear some faint shuffling behind the door, then a few thudding steps until she opened it for you. She was dressed in an old, worn Nirvana tee, and red checkered pajama pants, damn she looked good, even when she was dressed with less effort than usual. 
Ellie looked so pleased to see you, leaning on the doorframe. Why did she have to look so good all the time? “Hi! I’m so glad you came, ooh this is gonna be so fun.” She invited you in and took the snacks from your arms and placed them inside her room. “Oh yeah, I also put up some decor too so we can get into the Savage Starlight spirit.” Her eyes were wide and twinkling and when she stepped aside to let you see, she really had made her room so welcoming and comfortable.  
The lights were all off save for LEDs around the room’s perimeter set to a dreamy violet hue, sparkly fairy lights draped around the frame of her bed which was set up so cozily. Her laptop propped up on a pillow, the sheets arranged in a nest-like formation with two spaces for each of you. She even had a few dinosaur stuffed animals placed in a row so they could watch too.
You were so flattered she'd do that and make the atmosphere so nice for the two of you, you could just tackle her in a hug and never let go.
The thing is you were scared she'd perceive that as weird and you didn't feel like dying of embarrassment, not today at the very least. Save that for another day, maybe. Oh, how you wanted to squeeze her so bad. Your imagination had to do for now. 
She was standing there so proud of how she arranged her room into a mini theater, and you beamed at her, silently thanking her for making it so dim so she couldn't see your flustered expression in full.
“Ellie this is amazing!!” “You like it?!? These stupid lights kept on falling off but since this is an important occasion for us both I didn't give up. All for our love, Daniela.” She manipulated her voice and waved in the air with two fists, closed her eyes and put her hand over her heart, just being as dorky as ever.
Oh gosh, hopefully it wasn't going to be awkward. Sure, the two of you had grown to be great friends, but were you that close to be just, relaxing in her bed together? As long as your imagination didn't run too wild and you didn't overthink anything, it was going to be a fun time. Just two pals watching their favorite series, nothing more, nothing less.
She threw herself in the mess of comforters with a grunt, and saw you were hesitating. She patted the empty space next to her so you'd join her and the movie night could begin. “C’mere, don't be shy.” Well, no shit you were going to be shy. Suck it up. 
You crawled in next to her, unable to look her in the eyes, while she got everything ready and rubbed her hands together excitedly. “Man, if they do our girl dirty, we’re gonna have to give someone a knuckle sandwich, you with me?” Her jokes and easy going vibes always made her so fun to be around, but unfortunately for you, you fell harder for her every time. “Yeah, Ellie. A knuckle sandwich for all of them.” You retorted with a chuckle. Once both of you were settled, she pressed play and so it began.
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As the movie played, the two of you laughed and debated every plot twist, cursing the directors for not portraying your queen Daniela how she deserves, and snacked on candy until your stomachs hurt. It was going so well, the friendly hang out both of you needed after so many responsibilities in life. An escape. Occasionally sneaking peeks Ellie’s way, she was just so marvelously pretty. The shadows dancing on her features, illuminating her side profile perfectly, her long eyelashes and button nose, who wouldn't get lost in admiring her?
Of course you could never fully relax around her, or forget the crush no matter how hard you tried to push it down and just be friends. Every time she shifted next to you in the bed you felt your heart seize and the butterflies in your stomach turn into hornets. At this rate, they were going to turn into whole birds for fuck’s sake.
Nearing the end of the movie, the two of you were so invested, so captivated in the events, totally spellbound.
But then the film took a more emotional turn that wasn't in the comics. Daniela and her father had an absolutely vicious argument which left the two of you speechless watching it, which luckily got quickly resolved right after the two characters had a near-death experience together.
You weren't one to get emotional over silly, trivial things like fiction, but the way they showed this entire sequence was nothing short of heart-wrenching. You snatched up one of Ellie's patterned pillows and hugged it tightly to your chest, because cuddling her would have been much too bold for the likes of you. But what you’d give to do that instead.
Seems you were not the only one touched by the scene, as you began to hear some light sniffling from next to you. Looking over at Ellie made your heart break further into a million pieces. She looked lost in thought with thin lines of tears streaming down her plump, freckled cheeks. 
You froze for a moment, not knowing the limits of your relationship with her and how you could comfort her best. So you cleared your throat and mumbled, “That was so sad…” You watched as she avoided your gaze and wiped at her face with the collar of her t-shirt, “Yeah, this kind of stuff hits me, feels a little personal y’know.” She has never opened up to you about her struggles before, in the short time you’ve known and gotten close with Ellie, it always seemed like she was there to help you out, not the other way around. This could be your chance to show her that you are there for her as well, and that she can always count on you.
Being curious but at the same time not wishing to pry too much into her private affairs, you quietly asked with the most gentle tone of voice you could muster,” You don’t have to, but I’m here if you ever wanna talk about it, Ellie.” You watched her out of the corner of your eye, anticipating however she reacts.
She stayed quiet for a beat before sighing deeply, and whispered, “We were having a fun time, I really don't wanna be a burden.” Her voice quivered, heavy with emotion, what could possibly be troubling her this much? You wanted to take all her pain and bear it yourself, she didn't deserve any sort of misfortune ever.
“You can tell me, don’t worry about anything, okay? I just want you to be all good.” You were comforting her so smoothly, putting her needs and well-being first as if it was always second nature, as if you two have known each other many lifetimes over, two souls meant to float together through the journey of life. Well okay, that was probably a bit much.
There were a few more seconds of silence as you let the question ring in the air, not wanting to press and jeopardize your cherished friendship with her. 
You continue observing her, almost seeing the gears turning in her mind, the scales of reason tipping to one side then another, as she contemplates whether it’s worth spilling. Eventually, she does.
She roughly rubs her face then pauses the film playing on her laptop, sighs and huffs, before beginning to speak her story, all while looking away from you.
“Okay I don’t like to talk about this kind of stuff, but I trust you. A whole lot.” Your heart fluttered and face heated up at her comment, but you ignored it because there was something much more important on the table now. She continues, speaking quietly but quickly to get it over with. 
“So, when I was a kid, I was an orphan and to be honest I don’t really remember my early childhood much at all, but when I was 14 my adoptive dad, Joel, took me in. And it’s been just us since then.” She stops to take a breath, then resumes reluctantly. “And well, we’ve had a pretty rocky relationship for a good chunk of these years, I never knew how to express my gratitude to him, y’know, for basically saving my life, numerous times at that. He was always my rock, and I appreciate him every day. He taught me so many things, and I don’t know what I would’ve done if he hadn’t come around. I was pretty hard to deal with back then.” She reminisces with an exhale of air, and you see her eyes refill with tears. “But I’m really bad at expressing that, and will kinda, lash out I guess when I’m met with kindness or tricky situations.” 
You nod, listening patiently, and place your hand on her shoulder ever so gently, as a result making her raise her head to give you a small smile. 
Ellie chuckled deeply, it almost sounded forced, then started to slowly wrap up her story. “And it seems that scene kinda hit me, because the wounds are still raw, or whatever.” 
She sniffles again but doesn't respond, so you delicately inquire, “What do you mean?”
“He died last year.” Oof.
“Oh my, Ellie, I’m so sorry, are you-” She interrupts your condolences. “No need for that, I’m fine. Well, taking it day by day y’know. In the beginning it was really tough, I was angry at everything but most at myself for being such a jerk, and now I can't turn back time and tell him all I wanted to.” While you take a moment to think about what to say, she hums to herself and remarks, “That actually felt good to get off my chest, I haven't told anyone about it.” She lowers her voice so it’s barely a whisper. “Didn't have who to tell.”
“Sure you're okay? I'm always here for you.” You find your voice back to soothe her some more, to which she smiles at you again, only this time it actually seems genuine. There's definitely a lot of pain behind it, but the relief that she doesn't have to deal with the burden alone was evident on her face. 
“Yeah, thanks. I guess I hadn’t processed anything, and that part of the movie made it all come out, damn I hate emotions sometimes. But I appreciate you being here for me. You're really easy to talk to, and I feel better now.” 
And you would've never in a trillion years anticipated what her next move was going to be, you were so caught off guard, the realization lagged and it didn't immediately register. 
She moved to sit on her knees in front of you, then threw her arms around your torso in a tight embrace. She hugged you. Clutched you so firmly against her own body, her strong hands landing in the middle of your back, where she rubbed in a circle. She smelled so nice, and was as warm as one of her heated stuffed animals. 
Due to the surprising nature of the motion you let out a dumbfounded gasp, then returned the hug allowing yourself to rest your head on her shoulder. You wanted to stay like this forever, until the end of time, it felt nicer than you could've ever imagined.
The thought crossed your mind that she could feel the buzz pulsating through your body, you swore your heart was slamming against your ribcage so hard it was going to grow wings and simply fly right out of your chest, and join hands with hers.
While you were occupied with the way she felt against you, so close like this, chest against chest, and how your cheeks blazed with an inferno hotter than a thousand suns, you heard her grumble against your ear. “Not gonna make that same mistake again, and from now on, I'm gonna tell the people I appreciate just how much they matter to me.”
You were much too stunned to speak, but she wasn't. “So thank you again.” She finishes her little speech and pulls away first, but not before giving you one last big squeeze and letting out a noise of contentment as she does so, then shuffles over to her previous spot in the bed. 
Not taking notice of the way you were at a loss for words, or about to set the room on fire with how flustered her actions made you. Her obliviousness was a common theme, it seemed. She clears her throat and claps, grabbing some more candy for herself, then says happily, “We still got the rest of the movie left, then we can do whatever after. I really wanna know how this ends.”
Naturally, your head is spinning, but you were too caught up in your thoughts to continue paying attention to the movie as much as you were before.
You felt awful for her, yet somehow, felt as if your crush on her had quadrupled in size yet again. You saw through the guard she put up, she broke down those walls and opened up to you. You were honored she trusted you so much, and only hoped that would never change. That, coupled with how remarkably good hugs she gave, has led you to the realization that you were properly in love now, things had gotten real. This was trouble. You vowed to always be there for her for whatever she could ever need, you'd drop everything to teleport by her side if you could. 
Goodness, what were you possibly going to do now, instead of giving you the ick, or helping you with the task of getting rid of that stupid infatuation you were so plagued by, every experience felt like a deliberate ploy to just make you fall even further for her. You couldn't help but wonder just how much love a person can feel for someone, because it only continued to grow. 
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A couple days later.
Sitting in the cozy campus cafe, you were revising all your coursework. It was giving you a massive headache, but the warm and hazy lighting aided it a touch. The walls had cute plastic vines crawling up and down, and even though there was chatter all around you from the other patrons, it wasn't a distraction and in fact acted as some sort of white noise, everyone was talking in a nicely muted tone, it all blended to create the perfect ambience. 
You waved down the waitress to get yet another cup of coffee, your third one of the night, that’s healthy, before trying to resume with your aggravating studies. 
To your dismay, you've used up all your brain power for the evening, and could not force yourself to continue no matter how hard you tried. Maybe a few moments of peaceful people-watching would get you back on track?
You sip on the hot drink, then lean back against the comfortable booth seat to begin scanning around.
In one corner directly on the opposite side of where you were sitting, there was an elderly couple. They looked so in love, dressed in matching outfits, feeding each other as they shared a dessert, holding hands and conversing with a hushed tone, nodding and looking into each other's twinkling eyes. So cute, you hoped that was going to be you in the future. 
Moving your line of sight to watch beside the couple, there was another student, their books and computer were scattered across the wooden table, piles of pens and pencil cases near falling over. They seemed to have fallen asleep, unmoving with their head laid tiredly across their crossed arms. The sight made you chuckle out of familiarity, you really felt for them, studies were hard. 
But then a sound caught your attention. A bright, husky giggle fought its way over the ambience, reminiscent of a certain someone. 
Your heart jumped, your ears perked up and you immediately became insistent on scouting her out among the patrons, this was a necessary mission. 
Feeling highly nervous and antsy, you try to drown out the noise and focus on where she could be, and quickly enough, you find her.
Ellie in her natural habitat, she was so mesmerizing. Sitting far away from you where you could get a good view and hear snippets of conversation if you focused hard enough, but not close enough where she would notice your shameless gawking. She was sitting with a group of a handful of her friends, who all appeared to be gossiping and laughing with each other, you couldn't tear your eyes away.
Her smile was gorgeous, and you knew that, but there was something about just being a spectator which fascinated you, you could stare at her all day. Her energy lit up the entire room, and made your heart race.
Snapping out of your trance and trying to not be so obvious with your staring, you tried to look occupied, tried reorganizing your notes while still keeping an ear out to listen. Occasionally glancing over as  well. Yes, it's true that eavesdropping is wrong, but you couldn't help yourself. Anyone would do the same, right?
The group's passionate discussion was making you extremely curious however, and you strained to hear what they were talking about. Among the muffled chatter, you heard a woman’s voice say the word crush, then an outburst of laughter, the loudest guffaw from Ellie herself. 
You felt the budding panic start to form in your chest momentarily, but swallowed the lump forming in your throat and took a sharp intake of breath to calm yourself at once. They could be talking about anything, there's no need to jump to conclusions just yet. Fumbling around your bag for your headphones to listen to some of the song recommendations Ellie had given you, you’re led to discover that they are, in fact, dead. Of course. 
Despite any and all wishes to stop eavesdropping on them and mind your own business and abide by what they say, ignorance is bliss, you simply couldn't. She was too damn captivating. Like a painting in a museum, like a statue at a town’s center, one that people stopped in their tracks to admire. 
The way her eyes sparkled and gleamed under the warm lighting, her cheeks tinted a faint rosy hue from the exertion of laughing so hard, her sweet smile. She was too perfect. God, you hated crushes, being infatuated with someone to this degree couldn't be healthy. But what could you do? Just look at this angel.
Fidgeting nervously while still being entranced by the group of friends, you heard a man’s voice say the words “there’s no way”, followed by Ellie howling even harder than she had the whole time you've been watching them, and punch him forcefully on the shoulder. 
The curiosity was going to swallow you whole, it was like a car crash you couldn't look away from. You felt your palms begin to tremble and sweat with worry, and anxious assumptions of all kinds running through your mind, were they talking about you? No, they couldn't be, you're just overthinking it. Relax, relax, relax.
You tried your hardest to control your breathing and soothe your spinning mind so you wouldn't spiral, until you heard something that absolutely shook you to your core.
The same woman from before, not Ellie, in a highly teasing tone of voice said your name.
You felt frozen, this couldn't be happening. All your worst fears were coming true at this very moment. You had to get out of there right away, this was too much to bear. Curiosity really did kill the cat didn't it, you wished you didn't comply with the morbid desire to know everything. 
Panic-stricken like a deer in headlights, near hyperventilating at this point, the final straw was all three of them erupting into laughter simultaneously, with Ellie through gasps, going "oh come onnnn”.
Yeah that was it. Hot tears started pricking your eyes and you vigorously blinked them away before they started streaming down your face, as if you needed to be humiliated even more. You felt sadded, torn apart, betrayed. Sick to your stomach too. This time, for once, you really thought you had something going for you. From your perspective, albeit through rose-colored glasses, you were convinced she was being genuine with you all this time. How could you not be? 
The late night study sessions, the air thick with tension, the conversations draped in a sleep-deprived haze, the walks to class together, the first fated interaction, the looks you two shared from across the huge lecture hall; the looks where you two just knew when to share a glance, was all of that fake? Was she leading you on purposefully because her friends thought it was funny, that you were a joke?
The tears threatened to spill and your stomach twisted painfully with the world-shattering realizations you were just served with, and you angrily shoved your belongings in your bag.
You were too caught up in your panicked frenzy to notice how disruptive you were actually being, your textbooks thumping and keychains jingling, but frankly didn't care enough to meet the numerous pairs of eyes observing your misfortune. Who could blame you, your whole world and everything you've known just crumbled before you. 
You slung your bag over your shoulder noisily as a choked sob made its way up your throat, then speed-walked out of that cafe. You were never going to be able to go in there again unfortunately, shame, their pastries were so good.
Right as you tried to step through the door it got stuck, because the universe was being really nice to you today, and as you tugged on it to get it to open, you heard the friends lower their voices, but you could still make out a jumble of hushed words sounding something like, “oh no, is that…” Great, great, fucking great. The only solution to this was to change your name and ride up to Seattle for goodness’ sake, maybe throw yourself into a volcano as well just because. 
Finally the door swung open after what felt like eons, and you stumbled outside into the chilly autumn air, feeling goosebumps spring up all over. Where you were going, you didn't really know. This cafe was new, so it would take some time to figure out navigation so you stood dumbly in the middle of the front lawn as you tried to orient yourself.
Once you think you've got it, you start your agonizing trek back to your little room, screaming inside of your head, until you're harshly yanked back mid-footstep by a vice grip on your arm. What the fuck was it now. 
Ellie. The sight of her only made your tears increase in quantity and the emotion in your chest tighten. She looked a little disheveled, her eyes round like saucers, and she was gripping onto your arm so hard as if you were going to run away. You wanted to, but she still had a magnetic hold on you, even after all that turmoil. 
Talking was painful with how much you were trying to keep a hold of yourself, but you managed out a choked, “Ellie, what?” 
She looked befuddled, shaking her head ever so slightly and scrunching up her eyebrows, her gaze boring right into yours and following whenever you tried to break it and look elsewhere. Her hold on your arm softens, and moves to rest on your shoulder. “What do you mean what? You ran outta there like you were chased by a lunatic or something, what the fuck happened?”
Her tone startled you a little, why did she care so much? Noticing you jolt, she sighs and mellows her speech. “Sorry, what I mean to say is, I'm worried. Are you okay?” 
You worried her? Heat rushed to your cheeks as you fought to break the increasingly uncomfortable eye contact, and all you could do was shrug. Your lip started quivering and you were losing the fight of keeping your composure, how wonderful. Despite everything she was being so sweet, way too sweet. You felt helpless at this point. 
The words started pouring out of your mouth like a waterfall, you were properly sobbing now, falling apart and hiccuping as months and months of emotion spilled over. 
You were blabbering about how you loved the friendship you formed with her, but how hurt you felt that she’d laugh about you, every possible insecurity just tumbled out of your lips, as you wiped at your teary face and runny nose and glanced at Ellie ever so often. 
She let you talk for a bit until she saw you get even more upset, that's when she got a step closer to you, squeezed both your shoulders gently and kept a stern tone of voice to get your attention.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, slow down, I don't know what you're saying.” But you couldn't stop crying. Bottling up emotions was definitely a bad idea, because they were bound to burst sooner or later and unfortunately, you reached the breaking point. Sucking in some unsteady breaths as an attempt to regulate yourself, she was watching you patiently yet still cautiously. 
Your voice was weak and shaky, but you were slowly feeling a little better. For the first time during this interaction, you meet her eyes. Why was she always so pretty? She was sculpted just to spite you, you were convinced. Tears welled up in your eyes once more, but you blinked them away. “Um…Ellie…” She nodded expectantly, wanting to know what was wrong. But you could not complete your sentence as yet another bout of ache washed over you.
To snap you out of it once and for all, Ellie grabbed your face. The sheer disbelief of her action was enough to stop your tears luckily, and she held your gaze while she used her thumb to swipe at the stray teardrops adorning your cheekbones. You wanted to die, what was going on?
Once your panic was replaced with fluster and stupefaction, she let you go, but was still standing really close to you. You felt jittery from it all, nervous, embarrassed and in love and everything under the sun all at the same time. You stared at her, then looked away, then looked at her plump pink lips which were set in a questioning pout, then back up to her sympathetic greener-than-grass eyes, fuck, fuck, fuck. The intensity of the situation had caused any sense of judgment or critical thinking to long, long gone, and so your body moved on its own and before you had a chance to form a solid thought or process what you were doing.
Smooch.
You kissed her. 
Mouths colliding like magnets as you held onto the sides of her face, fireworks igniting in every single part of your body. Cradling her jaw as you closed the space between you two, the hurricane of emotion coursing through your veins as your lips caressed hers, and time felt like it had stopped. The months and months of excruciating pining had all led up to this very moment. 
She instinctively kissed you back, you felt her breaths fanning your face. You were about to ascend to another dimension. Lingering against her for a little longer, you forced yourself to regretfully pull away, and laughed loudly at her state now. 
Her lips were parted and she was gawking at you, you had broken her completely. Your own heart was working overtime, you were panting from the adrenaline of the situation, and could only hear the blood rushing in your ears. 
She seemed to be in a coma, doing nothing but staring and breathing. You punched her arm playfully, your voice breaking.
“I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING IDIOT.” 
An frustrated confession tore itself from your throat, even the world's strongest iron bars couldn't contain it. You wiped at your face with your sleeves, a sad attempt to clear it of the residual salty tears that never once stopped their journey out of your eyes.
The sadness had left you, and you felt lighter now, truthfully. Had no idea how you would ever face her again after all this, but at least the cat was out of the bag and you had gotten that off of your chest. You both stood there in silence, now what was wrong with her? What a dork. Sucking on your teeth and kicking a pebble on the ground you admitted finally, “So, yeah. That's what's been troubling me, I guess.” 
Her pupils were dilated and huge, as she scanned all over your features, her mouth opening and closing as if she was having an internal battle of what to say. She stood there almost appearing miles more shocked than you somehow, she looked as if she was going to have a heart attack and die on you, you found it funny, but concerning at the same time. 
You watched her for a moment more, before accepting your disappointing fate and bidding her a goodbye. You cleared your throat. “Okay then. Cya in class. Bye.” You turned on your heel and began the walk back to your room, but this time for real, and didn't look back at her. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't, you wanted to leave this whole fiasco in the past. That chapter was closed, it seemed. 
The only thing left to do now was call your bestie, Abby. She has been your cheerleader through this whole thing, through all this time, gave you advice and brought you back to Earth, and you needed her support now more than ever. 
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Right after you reached your dorm she was there in no time at all, after receiving your distress call she scrambled into action, with chocolates and boxed wine in hand. Maybe you should just date her instead at this point. Who else was left for you?
You talked and talked and talked to her about everything for so long, talking the night away just like old times, and she sat and listened to your every word, patted your back reassuringly as you weeped into her shoulder, then tucked you into bed at the end of it all. She left only when she was sure you'd relaxed fully.
You didn't fall asleep quite yet, and stayed awake thinking, pondering life and staring up at your ceiling. It turns out angrily confessing to the girl you've been infatuated with forever by impulsively kissing her and letting the whole campus know it was a tiring thing after all. You really did cause a bit of a scene, when you thought about it in hindsight.
But what was this all like from Ellie's perspective? You wished you could know what she thought, or at least gotten some sort of formal response. Her friend storms out of a cafe, kisses her and screams she's in love with her? It's certainly understandable she'd feel a little lost, or under great pressure to give you an answer. Her reaction did make sense though, after being met with such a shocking revelation. Wow, now that you were really thinking about it, she still did not know why you ran out of the cafe like that. You wished you could turn back time and redo this day, shame that wasn't possible. Were you two ever going to have a discussion about this, or had you just lost a friend for life. Oh no, you pushed that thought away as quickly as it appeared, you didn't have an ounce of energy left over to dwell on it.
You'd work out what you were going to face her next later, a very well-deserved visit to dreamland was way overdue. You felt your eyelids grow heavy and your breathing slow, so you turned on your side and snuggled into your bed, eventually falling into a deep, deep sleep.
Meanwhile on your bedside table:
Bzz, bzz, bzz. 
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baby-yongbok · 10 months
Text
Fan Fiction
Skz/ Dom!Bang Chan x Sub!afab reader - Explicit Sexual Content, MDNI!
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✨Masterlist ✨
Word Count: 5,257
Tags: Dom/Sub dynamics, penatrative sex, degradation, unprotected sex, teasing, overstimulation, breath play (mild), oral sex ( f & m receiving), rough sex, dirty talk, multiple orgasms (reader), breeding??, creampie, established relationship, after care.
(Sorry if I missed any tags)
Notes: This is my first ever Skz AU, and I'm nervous but excited to share. Please be nice! Also, i posted this from my phone, so I'm sorry if the formatting is odd or anything. I'm kinda new to posting on here.
This is a work of fiction and is not meant to reflect or portray any of the members in real life!
I do not own the picture attached, credit to the owner. (Found on pinterest)
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You woke up in a panic as your eyes searched for the glowing numbers on your alarm clock. As your vision became less blurry, you realized that it was still Sunday and you didn't sleep in and nearly miss work. Thank goodness. You've been trying to get rest whenever you could as of late. Your job was draining you beyond belief, and you had very little things that could help you relax, especially since Chan was always busy with work. You laid still for a while, staring up at the ceiling and pondering the possibilities… What could you do? How could you relax?
Without coming to a full thought you decide to pull yourself out of bed. Your naked feet felt cold against the hardwood and Goosebumps covered your naked legs. Chan always kept the air conditioner at 63 degrees and if you ever changed it he'd lose his mind. You pulled your feet lazily across the floor and let out a big yawn and stretch, stumbling a bit as you became lightheaded. Once you were steady you continued on your mindless journey to Chan's studio. The door was closed as always and you could hear a beat blaring from the speakers. Chan didn't like to be interrupted while he was mixing and told you to only knock if it were an emergency. You stood at the door mulling over your thoughts trying to think of the exact reason that you were going to knock on the door but nothing came to mind.
Fuck it.
You lifted your hand to knock but swiftly stopped once you heard the music on the other side stop. You took a step back with furrowed brows as you figured he was probably editing a section of the track. To your surprise the door swung open and your fiance towered over you as he took in the sight before him. You stood there clad in one of his t- shirts and pink lace panties as you stared up at him.
"I had a feeling you were out here. What're you doing? Eavesdropping? " a grin pulled at the corners of his mouth as he took a step forward to lace his strong arm around your waist and pull you into him.
"I wanted to see you but I heard you mixing so I just kinda… stood here. " Your sleepy brain spilled the truth immediately since you didn't feel the need to hide from him.
"You're always welcome into the studio, love." Your arms snaked around his waist as you hugged him sinking into his toned torso. " Well, I know I told you I don't like being interrupted but still, I always want to see my baby."
"I just woke up and I just… I don't know what to do with myself. It's only six o'clock and I'm just bored." With a sigh you loosen your grip around his waist.
"Hm, how about this, I'll finish mixing this song and then we can do something. Maybe order some take out? Play a board game? Whatever you'd like." Your big eyes glance up to him looking down at you with a sweet smile.
"How long until you're done?"
"Uh, give me thirty minutes, okay?" With another long sigh you let go of your fiancé completely.
"Okay." With a mumbled 'thank you' leaving his lips he pressed a kiss to the top of your head before letting you go and watching you as you slowly stalked back into your shared bedroom. You figure that you'll just spend the next thirty minutes scrolling through your phone looking at TikTok or something while you wait for Chan to finish up. That was until you accidentally pressed the Tumblr app on your phone and your old Stay account lit up your screen.
Oh
You had forgotten about your account, ever since the world blessed you with actually meeting, dating and now being engaged to your bias you didn't see any use for it. Of course you were still a fan but you see the boys as your ordinary friends now instead of world famous idols. Even with this logic fresh in your mind your finger began to scroll and you ended up getting lost in what used to be your world.
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It's been two hours and Chan is still mixing. Usually this would bother you but you were too immersed in your virtual world to care. You were going back into your likes and reading all of the disgustingly sexy fan fictions that you liked three years ago. Some about Felix and Hyunjin but most of them about your fiancé.
You sat straight up when you came across the one. That one fan fiction that you used to go back to every time you needed that sweet release. Everytime you wanted to pretend that your fingers were Chan's, long before you knew what it actually felt like. Your excited fingers quickly pressed 'Keep Reading' as your eyes scanned the screen and arousal pools at your core. You read for what felt like hours but was probably only fifteen minutes. God did you love this fic. It was your dream till this day to get fucked like that by Chan. Rough and unrelenting. Forceful and Primal. You knew he was capable of doing it but only if you asked and God knows that you were way too shy to do that. In your day dreamy haze you decided to send the fan fiction to yourself so that you could have easy access to it instead of scrolling all the way down your likes every time you wanted to read it. You hit share and then sent it to yourself on messenger. It took a matter of seconds to pass and for you to come out of your daydream to realize that you were thinking of Chan so much that you sent it to him. Your heart dropped into your ass and you swear that your brown skin turned bright red with embarrassment. What do you do? How do you come back from this?
You weren't thinking straight, I mean how could you? You just sent your fiance a smutty fanfiction about him. You weren't thinking, you couldn't, you felt dizzy with the pressure that was building up in your head. You thought that maybe you could stop him from seeing it. You opened messenger and tried to unsend it but it only gave you the option to unsend for yourself. It was then when your worst nightmare came true. Chan's small profile picture on the side dropped down to the message indicating that he had seen it. Your heart stopped or at least you think it did. What were you supposed to tell him? Yes, he knew you were a fan when he got with you but you felt like exposing him to your fangirl world would make him look at you like just that, a fan.
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You decided to wait. You weren't even worried about being bored anymore because your imagination had been keeping you very very entertained not to mention on edge. You kept wondering if Chan read the fanfiction or if he just looked at it and laughed before starting to work again. Did he love you any less for sending him fan made work? Or maybe he loves you less for even looking at it. Either way you were pretty sure that you were doomed.
"Alright, I know that, that was way more than thirty minutes and I'm so fucking sorry about that. I just wanted the track to be perfect." You jump at the sound of Chan's voice as he makes his way over to you on the bed and sits down pulling your legs into his lap. "We could still order take out, you must be starving."
He smiles over at you and you know that you must look like a deer caught in headlights with how big your eyes are, yet he says nothing. His smile is unwavering and you can't fathom why. Didn't he see what you sent him? Isn't he disgusted?
"So…? Thai or maybe Italian? We haven't had that in awhile." Chan pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through uber eats mindlessly. "Chicken?"
You decide to take a deep breath and try to compose yourself. If he doesn't say anything about it than fuck it neither will you. Forcing a smile onto your face you try to scoot closer to him and get comfortable. He swiftly welcomes you into his arms and pulls you into his lap so that you can browse together.
"Chicken sounds good but now you got me wanting Italian." You add with a playful forced smile.
"Italian it is, mama." You freeze for a second staring over at your fiancé as he picks an Italian restaurant to order from. He never calls you that, why would he call you that? Are you overreacting? Maybe he just wanted to try something new.
"Do you want your usual?" He asks looking up at you and catching your confused gaze. "Are you alright? "
"Yeah… I'm, uh, fine." No. You were not fine. That was a big fat lie. You were confused but mostly turned on by the new term of endearment. You slowly pressed your thighs together as you heard it echo through your head. The fan fics you read earlier weren't helping either, you were already hot and bothered as it is then he goes and calls you that?
"So, your usual?" You nod your head yes and continue to let your mind race.
"Alright, it'll be here in 25 minutes. Do you wanna watch a movie or something while we wait?" You shrug mindlessly, staring past Chan's face. "Hey, are you alright? You seem off, baby."
Straightening up and looking down at him you smile and try your best to get out of your head, and that nearly works before Chan puts his hand on the back of your neck rubbing his finger along the soft sensitive skin on the side of your neck. "I'm okay" you choke out as the feeling of his big hand on your neck sends chills down your spine.
"Alright, well I'm here if you want to talk, mama." There he goes again. You press your thighs together quickly before getting up off of his lap.
"Let's watch TV, yeah?" Chan smiles over at you as he quickly and nonchalantly scans your entire body taking in your bare legs and lace covered core.
"Sounds good, baby."
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The food came and went quickly since the two of you were hungrier than you realized. You watched various random television shows and finished the end of a movie that Chan swears used to be his favorite. The two of you decided to pack it in maybe fifteen minutes ago. You've already showered and changed into a more comfortable cotton pair of red panties and another one of your fiance's shirts. You slid into bed and stared up at the ceiling as you waited on Chan to finish up his shower. You had pretty much forgotten about today's fuck up since he hadn't brought it up to you. It also helped to distract yourself with TV and food but there was still a lingering feeling deep in your chest. Something was off, you just didn't know what. You had noticed that he was extra attentive while the two of you spent time together. He made continuous eye contact that you couldn't seem to keep up with and his hand kept finding its way to the back of your neck. Not to mention that damned name he kept calling you.
The sound of the bathroom door opening snapped you out of your thoughts. You sat up to ask Chan how his shower was but instantly went dry at the mouth when you took in the sight in front of you. His dark hair was wet, some strands sticking to his forehead. He was shirtless with nothing but Grey sweatpants on and bare feet.
Holy fuck
You couldn't help but to stare, how could you do anything else with a man like that in front of you. The three years that you've spent together should have prepared you to see him like this. Hell, you've seen all of this man and probably know him better than he knows himself but there was something about the way that he looked right now that just threw you off. It almost felt familiar to you, you just couldn't put a finger on it.
"Do you work tomorrow, baby?" He asked as he looked over at you from under the towel he was using to dry his hair.
"Uh, yeah I do." You could barely get that sentence out as your eyes locked with his. There was a particular gleam in his eye that you didn't quite recognize but you knew he was up to something.
"Hm, I better make this quick then. It would be irresponsible of me to keep you up all night." He throws the towel he was using over to the hamper and starts to slowly stalk over to the bed. "Don't you think so, mama?"
Your brain went to mush instantly as you took in his dark tone and even darker eyes. It was at this moment that you were sure he read it. Everything clicked for you now. The name, the touches, even his outfit, it all came from that one fanfiction.
He crawled onto the bed and over to you slowly like a lion hunting its prey. In an instant he was on top of you. Looking down at you with his burning brown eyes. You couldn't help but to look away and over to the side but that was no use. You felt as his hand slowly snaked up your body and his thumb and pointer finger rested on your chin turning your head to face him.
"What is it? Is my little kitty shy?" You pushed your thighs together involuntarily. "It's just me baby, don't worry, I'm going to take such good care of you. "
"Chan I-" He lifted his finger to stop you from talking.
"What's my name baby?" His tone was dark and demanding as he stared down at you. Dropping down to his forearm next to your head he moved in to whisper into your ear. "I want you to call me by my name when I ruin you."
You were breathless and paralyzed. You racked your brain for the right answer even though you knew exactly what it was. You've called him by his name before so why should this be any different? Why was this so different?
"Chris - Christopher." A dark chuckle left his lips as he lifted himself up to look into your eyes again.
"That's my girl." Turning your head to the side with one finger he wasted no time littering kisses and love bites all over the exposed skin milking small moans from your lips as you desperately pressed your thighs together. "So you want me to break you, huh? "
You freeze as you realize that he's reciting lines from the very fanfiction that you accidentally sent him.
"You want me to fuck you senseless, mama?" He lightly bites at your collarbone before licking up your neck and planting a kiss behind your ear.
"I can do that." His right hand snakes down your body, his nails digging in lightly as he makes his way to your clothed heat. "Oh, baby"
He harshly but slowly rubs on your clothed core taking in the wetness seeping through your panties.
"You're fucking soaked." His eyes burn into yours as he rubs you over your underwear. You try your best to maintain eye contact but you can't help but to let your eyelids flutter shut every time he caresses your clit. "Eyes on me, mama"
You force your eyes open and look up at Chris as he rubs tight circles around your clit using your arousal as lube against your panties. "Let me hear you."
It wasn't until then that you realized that you had been holding your breath. With a shaky sigh you let out a moan and then you just can't stop. The moans just kept falling from your lips and the sound only encouraged Chris to do more. Before you know it he's moved your panties to the side and is tracing lines up and down your slick cunt. He barely touches your clit as he tries to build you up as high as he can. The higher he can get you the harder the crash will be.
"You want to see what you do to me, Jagi?" You frantically nod in response earning a smile from Chris. He pulls his hand away from your core painfully slowly and sits up on his knees straddling you. In one swift motion he dips his sweatpants down and lets his thick cock free from its restraint. You've seen it a million times but right now it feels new. "Look at how hard you've got Daddy's dick."
A moan fell from your lips at the sound of his filthy words. He was always good at dirty talk but this was different. He was playing out a written fantasy right now and your pussy just couldn't take it.
"Chris, please." He looked down at you with furrowed brows as you begged.
"Please what, mama?" He asked as he began pumping his length slowly, teasingly.
"Fuck" you moaned at the sound and the sight in front of you. "Fuck me, please." A chuckle fell from his lips as he watched you squirm under him.
"You're so needy, baby." You groaned at him in frustration. Was he really going to tease you? He was already basically acting out a fanfiction right in front of you. Did he have to add the teasing? You rolled your eyes at him instinctively. You found yourself doing that a lot and usually he thought it was cute but today was different. You watched as his free hand dipped down and grabbed your face and he stared down at you silently for what felt like hours but were merely seconds.
"Did you just roll your fucking eyes at me?" He got off of you while keeping a firm grip on your face. "Someone needs to be put in their place.
Without another word he roughly guided you over to his exposed length and tapped the head of his cock on your red lips. "Open your mouth and suck this dick."
You were taken aback to say the least. Chan was the type of guy who was more of a soft dom and didn't demand you to do much, especially not in such a dark domineering tone. You couldn't stop yourself even if you tried. It's like a button was pressed and your mouth was open, your tongue out and ready to taste your fiancé. He smiled down at you and slowly slid his cock into your mouth filling you up to the hilt. His head fell back in euphoria and he hissed a curse into the air.
You bobbed your head slowly at first trying to get him used to the sensation of your mouth around him but clearly he had other plans.
"Come on, you can do better than that." Both of his hands found their way into your curly hair and gripped the root making sure to not pull too hard. He began guiding you and moving your head faster and faster each time you came up from the hilt. It wasn't long before you began to gag around him with every stroke, your eyes watering from the choking.
"Fuck, Mamas, that mouth is filthy." You looked up at him with your big watering eyes as he looked down at you with his dark ones. You wanted to make him feel good but right now his rough nature was making you weak for him. Could it be possible that you feel better than he does right now? Having your mouth be used for his pleasure could be the very thing that drives you over the edge.
He continued to guide your head up and down his shaft until he suddenly stopped. Pushing your head down to swallow him completely. He forced you to stay in place temporarily, cutting off your air supply and making you gag and choke around him.
"Be good, slut, take it." Your eyes began to water, tears flowing down your cheeks. He pulled you up off of him, completely freeing his cock from your mouth. You gasped as he watched you intently paying attention to your body language.
"What's your color?" You had almost forgotten about the Stoplight system that Chris put in place as safe words for you. You were too focused on your pleasure and his to remember much else.
"Green" He smiles down at you before taking one hand out of your hair and grabbing the back of your neck.
"Good" He sinks his cock back into your throat as he holds you down once again cutting off your air supply " You're such a good hole"
His moans and growls are what keep you going as you gag around him. He pulls you off once again before pushing you back onto the bed. You gasp at the sudden change as he grabs your ankles and pulls your ass to the edge of the bed. Wrapping your legs around him he leans down to finally kiss your wet lips. The kiss was passionate and rough like it was meant to mark you. This was the kiss of a man who wanted you to know who you belong to. He swiped his tongue across your bottom lip asking for access that you gladly granted. His tongue explored your mouth. He tasted of sweet spearmint and the smell of his pheromones filled your nostrils. You hadn't even realized that you began grinding your clothed core on his exposed cock until he bit your lip with a hiss warning you to stop, but you couldn't. You needed him, you were desperate to feel him. If anything his warning only made you grind harder and faster against him. The feeling of his cockhead grinding against your clit was euphoric and you only wanted more as time went on.
"Naughty little toy." Chris growled as he broke the kiss. "If it's my dick that you want then that's what you're gonna get."
Grabbing the back of your thighs Chris swiftly picked you up and turned you both around so that you were against the wall. Your legs tightened around him as you squealed. You've done this position once or twice but it's been so long.
"I'm going to make you fall apart on my cock, mama." He buried himself into the crook of your neck being much rougher this time. He bites at the skin leaving marks that you're sure you'll have to cover up in the morning. He growled into your ear making you moan as you tried your best to grind against him. The both of you were growing impatient but you knew you couldn't move until Chris did.
Finally, he moves your panties to the side and teases your entrance with his cock. "Please, Chris, I need you so badly baby. Ruin me, please." A groan leaves his lips as he looks into your pleading eyes.
"You sound so pathetic, baby. You want to be fucked?" He slips his cock into you faster than he usually does but slow enough to allow you to adjust. "Here you go, kitty."
You cry out instantly moaning his name like your life depended on it. He bounced you on his cock picking up the pace with every stroke. He growled curse words in your ear every time you took him all the way, your walls tightening at the sensation.
"Shit, baby, you're so tight around me." Your head fell back against the wall in pure bliss. "Tell me you like it, let me hear you."
"You feel so fucking good Chris. You fuck me so good." Your praise only made him pick up the pace, turning your moans into gaspy screams.
"Fuck, oh my god, Chris… yes, please, yes. " Words mindlessly fell from your mouth as he pounded into you. Sweat dripping from his forehead as he fucked you senseless just as he promised.
"That's it, take it baby." His cock was hitting just the right spot and he stretched you out perfectly. The fact that this position felt so new to you didn't help to contain the arousal brimming over and spilling from your pussy. You felt a knot in your stomach and your toes started to burn as you got closer and closer to your release. That's when he said the magic words.
"Don't you dare fucking cum." The words came out as a breathy growl. It wasn't a demand this time, it was a threat. You whined as you tried your best to contain your growing orgasm but it just kept creeping up on you.
"Please, let me cum, Please Daddy I'm so close." He groaned at you calling him daddy, something he loved but would never admit to anyone else.
"Don't you dare." He growled again, making you whine. You tried, you really did but you just couldn't contain it. Your pussy clenched around him sucking him in like a vacuum and that's when he knew. " Y/N, don't you fucking cum"
That's all he had to say to throw you over the edge. The way he said your name with that darkness lingering on his tongue sent a shock straight to your clit. You couldn't stop it, you tried so hard but you couldn't stop. Your legs shook around him as your orgasm came crashing down. He didn't stop fucking you he only picked up the pace once he realized that you had cum. His thrusts were shorter and harder, he was punishing you.
"Oh, you've done it now." He fucked into you like he hadn't had sex in years. He'd gone feral for you and all you could do was cry out as your sensitive cunt got abused by his cock. To add fuel to the fire he snaked one of his hands in between the two of you to rub your sensitive clit as he pounded into you throwing you into an overstimulation spiral.
"Chris I- I can't take it." Tears welled up in your eyes as he made you feel so painfully good. It was so much but somehow you found yourself wanting more.
"Find a way to." Was all he said as he continued to abuse your aching cunt. "You should've listened."
His strokes were getting sloppier and his moans were getting louder as he felt you clench around him desperately. The knot in your core building up again.
"I'm going to fill you up so good." He moaned into your ear as his orgasm creeped up his spine. "Fuck, yes, I'm cumming baby. "
Just like that you felt Chan's warm sticky cum coat your walls. The same walls that were now sore and desperate for release again.
"Yes, thank you, daddy. Thank you." He fucked his cum into with a few more pumps before turning and laying you back onto the bed. You both panted, trying your best to catch your breath. You were in a daze, a happy cum drunk daze. You couldn't believe that he actually did what was in that fanfiction but God you were grateful.
"So, you want to be a disobedient whore, huh?" Your eyes shoot open as your fiancé's dark tone catches your attention. "You needed to cum, right?"
You slowly shake your head yes and a knowing smile is painted on Chan's face. "Then here." His hand pops against your pussy spanking it as his cum drips from your wet hole.
"Cum again." Chris drops to his knees teasingly slow and pulls you closer to him by your thighs.
"Chris I- .. Fuck." Before you can finish your sentence his tongue runs a hot stripe up your cunt. He groans as he tastes both you and himself in the mixture of arousal. "Oh my gosh"
He continues to lick and taste you wrapping his lips around your swollen and sensitive clit. His tongue flicks at the nub with slow and firm pressure keeping up his rhythm as he circles your clit. You turn into a hip bucking mess at the amount of pleasure you are feeling right now. It's so much but you want more. Your hands find a home in Chris' wet hair as you start to grind into his mouth. He hums his approval in response as he moves his head back and forth to give you more friction, the perfect formula. You feel your orgasm creep up your legs and it's moving faster and stronger than any one you've ever had before. Your vision goes dark and the grip you have on Chris' hair tightens as you scream for him.
"Fuck, Chris, I'm cumming." Your high washes over you like a storm. Your body shaking against his mouth as he continues to fuck you with his tongue helping you ride out your orgasm. High pitched moans leave your lips and you struggle against his tongue as it continues to taste you. Your vision starts to go white when he finally lets go of his hold over you.
"Such a greedy slut." Chris chuckles as you try your best to catch your breath.
"Are you alright? " He asks as he pulls up his sweatpants and plops down next to you pulling you into his arms. "Take it slow, in and out, baby. "
"I- I'm fine" you finally get out in a breathy reply.
"Good, you were amazing, Jagi" He pulls you into a tight hug and you turn to put your leg over his body as you finally find a comfortable breathing rhythm.
"You were better." Chris smiles down at you with knowing eyes.
"Well, you have your little fan fiction to thank for that. I would've never been that rough with you otherwise. I didn't realize that you like being bossed around so much. " A blush creeps up on your cheeks as you hide your face at the mention of the fanfiction. You had almost forgotten about it.
"I'm so embarrassed. I never meant to send you that."
"Hey, don't be embarrassed." He lifts your chin so that your eyes meet his. "I'm glad you accidentally sent it to me. I want to please you in every way that I can and if you want it a little rougher in the bedroom that's fine. I can do that for you. I'm happy to please you, Y/N"
"Did you enjoy it too?" Chris laughs with a wide smile and nods his head.
"Hell yeah I did. You felt amazing and I really liked topping you like that."
"Good" You say with a blush.
"Okay, well, it's one in the morning so we need to get some sleep but first I know you've gotta be thirsty."
"Yeah, my throat is pretty dry."
"Great, I'll get us some water before round two." With a smile Chris jumps up out of bed and jogs out of the room and down to the kitchen leaving you yelling behind him.
"What do you mean round two?!" You plop your head down on the bed and sigh with a smile. "This fan fiction has created a monster
1K notes · View notes
glassartpeasants · 4 months
Text
Alone
Trafalgar Law x F!Reader
Warnings: Reader has a drinking problem, Law being emotionally distant, mentions of past abusive relationships,
A/N: As you can all see I AM A LIAR >:) also I've ne er written for Law before so don't hang me if it's not perfect. Also not as long as my kid fics
@zuffer-weird-girl
(Phone acting up so if format is weird that's why)
~~~
The Polar Tang has never felt more cold than it does now. Even though you were deep into the freezing sea, the cold was nothing compared to the freeze you felt in your heart. Every passing second felt like an eternity as you suffered in silence. Watching the man you worked so hard to let you in pushed you away like you meant nothing.
You didn’t know what you’d done for him to act the way he was. One minute, he smiled whenever you entered his office with coffee; the next, he looked at you with disdain. Like you were a burden, it took a lot for you not to break down in tears every time he sent that look your way.
You couldn’t even avoid him if you wanted to. Being in a submarine miles underwater left you stuck with nowhere to go. Avoiding him was impossible, and the tension between the two of you was insane. Everyone inside the Polar Tang could feel it. It was thick enough to suffocate on, and you hated it. You didn’t want the crew to suffer or walk around eggshells just cause you're having relationship issues with your boyfriend.
Boyfriend? Captain? You didn’t know anymore. All he did was order you around instead of giving you a small good morning smile that you used to look forward to. Now, he barely acknowledges your presence and simply gives you a blank look.
You know that Law has his difficulties and trauma, so you never force him to do something he didn’t want to do. Let him take his time to trust and come to you. Everything you’ve done was to ensure that Law knew he was loved and could confine in you. Let him know he wasn’t alone and that you’d always be here for him.
Yet now, it feels like that wasn’t enough.
You only saw him when he addressed plans for the heart pirates or when he came to eat. Other than that, he was like a ghost that haunted the submarine. A rare sight to see him out of his office. A sight that you couldn’t take anymore.
Which brought you right outside his office door, your arm raised as you get ready to knock on the door, yet it stayed in its place. Biting your lip, you start to regret your decision to approach him, but the overwhelming pain in your heart gives you the slight boost you need.
KNOCK KNOCK
You slowly open the door, and you see him glaring at you. The sight alone had you shaking nervously.
“Law? Can we talk?” Walking out from behind the door, you breathe before closing it behind you.
“What?”
“I just…Did I do something to upset you? It feels like you're making an effort to avoid me. Please tell me if I did something wrong instead of avoiding me.” You can feel your voice shake as you confess your concerns.
“I’m not avoiding you.”
“But you are! Whenever I try to talk to you, you look so uninterested in what I have to say, and you turn around to leave before I even finish talking! I can’t remember the last time you smiled at me. For the past three months, you’ve done nothing but ignore me and look at me with disdain!”
“(Y/N)-ya, can we do this later? I need to make plans for Sabaody.” You let out a shocked gasp hearing his words. That’s what he’s been saying whenever you ask him to do something together. Now he’s saying it when you need to have a mature conversation.
“Nuh-uh. You’ve been saying that for two weeks! Every time I want to be next to you, I get that same damn response! That’s not gonna work this time. We need to have an adult conversation. An important adult conversation."
“What do you want from me (Y/N)-ya? I’m the captain. It’s obvious I'm going to be busy.”
“Busy, yeah! But you shouldn’t be busy to the point you don’t even come to bed! I bet you’ve been so busy sleeping in here that you haven’t noticed that I’ve slept in the crew bunks for almost a whole month!” You saw Law’s body slightly tense upon hearing your words. His eyes widened before going back to normal.
“That’s your choice.” Now, it’s your turn for your eyes to go wide. You can feel rage bubbling in your gut hearing his words. With a scowl, you throw your hands up in surrender.
“You know what? Fine. I’ve got more important things to do with my time instead. Since obviously I’m not important enough to have even a second of your time.” Turning around, you open the door before slamming it shut behind you. Tears slip down your cheeks as you stomp towards the kitchen to grab yourself a drink.
You’ve been drinking a lot more than you like to admit recently. It was hard not to when your struggling emotionally with your lover and mentally to get over your original drinking problem. It was horrible when you first joined the Heart Pirates, but slowly, they helped you start to overcome it.
There have always been alcohol problems in your family, and only did it hit you when you got into an abusive relationship before Law. Some people called you a ‘sad’ drunk type, so that could also be part of the problem. It made you only want to drink more. When the Heart Pirates took you in, you were fresh out of the relationship and suffering from alcoholism to the point you needed at least 3 alcoholic beverages every day. It's thanks to Law that your liver isn’t fucked.
It might as well be again with how much you started drinking again.
“Dare I ask how many so far?” Looking towards the door, you see Penguin entering the kitchen before sitting next to you at the table.
“Not enough.” You say before taking a big gulp. A small drop hits your uniform.
“Another problem with Captain, I assume?”
“Yeah, like always. Damn, bastard. Is there something I’m doing wrong?” Desperation slips from your lips as tears continue to stream down your cheeks.
“No! Of course not! I’m sure Captain has something planned for you guys! He’s just a difficult man to read, is all!” Penguin's loyalty to his Captain was admirable, but it's not what you want to hear during the time you wanted to punch said Captain in the face.
“I hope for my heart and liver's sake that you're right, Penguin.”
~~~
The next few days went by, and neither you nor Law spoke a word to one another. It broke your heart not speaking to him but you didn’t want to go crawling back to a man who didn’t care about your feelings. You’ve done plenty of that before joining the crew.
The hangover you were suffering from the hard-drinking the night before finally hitting you at full force. It felt like an ice pick stabbing into your head, and it only got worse as the crew got ready for the day.
Today was the day you’d be docking at Sabaody. Horrible time to get plastered the night before going to a busy place.
“Come on (Y/N)! We finally get to see the sun! It’s been so long!” Bepo shook your blanket-covered body. If it weren’t for the fact that you haven’t seen the sun in 2 weeks, and if it wasn’t, Bepo was the one shaking you, you probably would have slept late. But you could never say no to Bepo, and you did need some vitamin D before you got sick.
“Alright, alright. I’m getting up. Give me a sec, and I’ll meet you at the sub opening.”
“Okay! See you then!” You could practically hear Bepo’s smile as the bear ran off. Taking a breath, you get ready to see the archipelago Law is so obsessed about.
~~~
“Everyone gather round here.” Once everyone was out of the Polar Tang, Law immediately laid out the plan. It was going good so far until he said where you’d be.
“(Y/N) you’ll be on watch while Me, Bepo, Penguin, and Shachi-”
“Wait, why am I on watch?”
“Because I said so (Y/N). It’s easier that way.”
“Easier? Law you can’t just-”
“Captain. And my decision is final.” You simply look at the man in bewilderment. He never put you on watch.
If you weren’t going through a rough patch in your relationship with him, you’d just think it’d just cause he misplaced you. But now, with all the arguments and how Law’s been avoiding you, it’s like he just didn’t want you around. You could be looking too much into it, but with how Law talked about Sabaody, it sounded dangerous. If that were the case, wouldn’t he want you more around for more defense?
Not to mention how he ‘corrected’ you in front of the whole crew. You’ve called him Law in front of them before, and he didn’t say a thing. So why now?
“Okay, everyone, let's go.” The sound of the crew dispersing made your hands curl into fists. All you could do was stare at the ground as you heard everyone part ways. Law and his crew go to town while everyone makes their way back to the Polar Tang. There was no way in hell you were going back in that submarine after not seeing the sun in two weeks. If you wanted to crawl into a dark, cramped space, you’d just go to one of the many bars this place probably harbored.
In fact, you're gonna do just that. More than half the crew is on ‘watch.’ No one would notice you're gone. Just a few drinks, and you’ll be right back.
~~~
“Hey, Captain, why’d you put (Y/N) on watch? She’s never on watch.” The sound of Penguin’s voice breaks through Law’s thoughts.
“I have my reasons. She was unneeded, is all.” A complete lie that he hoped Penguin would just take without another word. In reality, he wanted you to stay safe. And in a place crawling with Marines, bounty hunters, and other pirates, the only safe space was the Polar Tang.
He knew you were strong and that you could handle yourself. But there was a fear that if he simply blinked for a single second, then you’d be gone. He loved you too much for that to be a reality.
Even though his actions beg to differ.
Whether intentional or not, he tends to push you away. He doesn’t want to get hurt and lose someone he loves once again, so it’s easier to be closed off. But the touch of your hands when you massage his tense shoulder or when you kiss his cheek when no one is looking is a token of ‘good luck.’ Times like this are where he wants to be close to you forever, but the fear of losing you becomes too strong so he pushes you away.
And he’s noticing that you're getting fed up with his hot/cold behavior.
When you told him that you hadn’t slept in your shared bed for about a month, Law could feel his heart stop. Has it really been a month since he’s slept in his own room? The thought ate him alive and his head raced with possible responses, and of course, he chose the worst one possible. He remembered seeing the hurt in your eyes and the faint tears that threatened to spill.
“Oh, Captain, look! I think there’s two other rookie pirates fighting!” Penguin snapped Law from his trance when he pointed to 2 pirates causing a ruckus. A small smile worked its way to Law’s lips at the sight.
“Well, let’s go watch, shall we?”
~~~
“Here you go, miss, another one for the pretty lady.” The bar you found yourself in was packed with all kinds of questionable people. All pirates and drunken commoners. There weren’t many women occupying the bar, so you stood out more than you would have liked. Not to mention how your uniform caught many eyes as well, your crew’s Jolly Roger plastered on it proudly. That and the many empty glasses of booze surrounding you.
“Thanks.” The bartender placed a huge jug of alcohol in front of you as you sat on the bar top. You can already tell that you’ve had more drinks than you originally were gonna get, but each passing minute that you thought about Law made you down another drink. It was easier to drink away your problems instead of working to fix said problem and it not working.
“Well, look what we have here. A lone heart pirate. Where's your Captain dolly?” Turning your eyes, your met with a trio of men standing next to you.
“None of your business. And don’t call me that.” What you could only assume is the leader started snickering before slamming his hand down next to you on the bar top.
“Your Captain and crew destroyed our ship, completely destroying our lives. But now that your here and alone, I think a small revenge message would be sent if you go back to your captain in pieces, right boys?” The two other men laugh, and you notice knives shining out of their pockets.
“I’m not drunk enough to deal with you. You want to go fight my Captain? Go for it. He’s on the island somewhere. Attacking me isn’t gonna do a damn thing.” Taking a hard swig of the alcohol of your glass, you’ve emptied it before you know it. You signal the bartender for another one, knowing that it isn’t gonna be near enough if you are dealing with even more annoyances.
“We know we stand no chance against the ‘Surgeon of Death’ woman. Which is what makes you the perfect message carrier for your Captain to know what happens when you mess with the Rubber Pirates!” You couldn’t help the laugh that escapes you upon hearing their names.
“Rubber Pirates? That’s the stupidest name I’ve ever heard. So stupid that I don’t even remember destroying their ship. I say we did you a favor.” You down your next glass like a champ and, once again, motion for another one. The sound of the liquor-filled glass had you slightly lip your lips. Before you could take another sip, the man grabs yoru forearm and pulls you to your feet.
“Don’t you dare laugh bitch!”
“Oh, I’m laughing, alright.” The man gripped you tighter before pulling out a small blade.
“I’m gonna cut out your tongue!” Grabbing one of the many empty glasses on the counter, you bash it against the man's head at full force. The glass broke against his head, leading the man to fall to the floor like a doll.
“Who do you think you are?!” His two goons yell at you before charging at you with knives as well. Reaching behind your back, you grab another empty glass. One of the men swiped at you, and you once again quickly bash the glass against his skull. Knocking him to the floor and landing in the already shattered glass mess.
The last man almost got you, but you managed to hit his face with the next fresh glass of alcohol. The liquid splashed everywhere on his clothes and on the ground. The floor turned slippery as he fell on top of his incapacitated buddies. With an annoyed huff and noticing everyone staring at you, you talk to the spectators.
“Anybody else wants to bother me for no fucking reason?” The room was silent, which you took for a no.
“Good now go back to drinking and pretend this never happened.” You turn around to sit back down on the bar top. You grab some berri’s and give them to the bartender.
“Here’s for the broken glass. I’m still not drunk enough, so keep those drinks coming.” Getting in a bar fight was something you weren’t planning on doing. You just wanted some drinks and to go home.
“What shitty pirates they are if a single girl can take them out.” A gruff voice said next to you. Furrowing your brows, you snap your head towards the voice, only to be speechless.
“Holy shit.” Your eyes widen when you see the most wanted new-gen pirate sitting next to you. All the stories you’ve heard about him show their worth.
“What? Scared?” Quickly pulling yourself together, you answer.
“Maybe a little. It’s not everyday you see the infamous Eustass ‘Captain’ Kid sitting next to you.” A small chuckle leaves your lips, and it pulls one from his in return.
“What’s a heart pirate doing by herself drinking in a dingy bar?” You knew that he was bad news. That you shouldn’t talk to a rival Captain. Especially with someone as strong as Eustass Kid. But who’s gonna stop you? Plus, the effects of the alcohol you’ve been consuming have finally started to take its toll.
“Drinking away my frustrations and problems. What about you, Captain? What’s the infamous Captain Kid doing in such a bar?”
“Passing time till it’s time to head back to my ship and get into the New World.” Ah. The New World. A place where you’ve heard countless stories of beasts, crazy islands, and weather. Insanity that only the strong survive.
“Same for us, I'm sure. It’s a little nerve-racking. Hearing all the stories about it. But you only live once, right?”
“Exactly. Which is why I’m going to be King of the Pirates and obtain the One Piece! And I’ll kill anyone who stands in my way.”
“Sounds on brand. I’ll cheer for you. How's that?”
“What? No faith in your Captain?” Kidd’s laughter was slightly contagious as it made you laugh while drinking.
“My Captain gets my faith when he stops acting like a jackass.”
“You know, some would call that mutiny.”
“Some may call it a mutiny. I call it losing faith in a relationship.”
“Surgeon of Death ain’t a good boyfriend? Go figures.”
“That is what lead me to this dingy ass bar. Got into another fight with him and now I’m here. Can say I haven’t drank this much since my last relationship.” You take another big gulp of alcohol before sighing.
“I just don’t fucking understand. What’s the point of being together if all that bastard does is push me away! If he wants to break up with me, he should just be a man and do so! I’m a grown woman; I can handle it.” The feelings of anger and hurt soon started bubbling up, and before you knew it, you're spilling your problems to a man you don’t know.
“Doesn’t fucking help that when I want to, I can’t even escape him when we're stuck on a ship together! This is the first time in two weeks that I’ve actually been on land and seen the sky.” You grumbled while finishing your drink.
“Tell you what, Heart Pirate, how bout you come join me and my crew to check out the auction house. I’m feeling charitable, so I’ll take pity on your sorry ass to get your mind off your shithead Captain.” A small part of you told you it was a terrible idea. Going alone with a rival pirate group? Yet, the sound of just being near other people sounded too good to pass up. Even if the offer was worded horribly.
“Sounds like a deal I’m willing to take. Lead the way, Captain.”
~~~
“What’s the point in being here again? I’m confused.” Bepo’s hushed words to Shachi didn’t go unnoticed by Law but he decided to not comment. He originally just wanted to see what it was about but as time grew on, he couldn’t help but have his thought travel back to you.
Scenes of the two of you just doing mundane things played through his head, and had a small smile tugging at his lips. When the two of you would speak over some coffee or simply sitting in the same room was nice. It didn’t need to be a big thing. Just your company was enough for him.
Yet he pushed you away once again by making you stay back on the ship. Even if he wanted you safe, no place was 100% safe on Sabaody. Not with Marine headquarters being so close. And knowing that, had him fearing for you and the crew’s safety.
Just then, your laugh trickled into his eats as looked around the room, trying to pinpoint where it was coming from. Once seeing nothing, he realized it’s probably just his conscious making him feel guilty for leaving you behind. It wouldn’t be the first time your voice haunted his thoughts after he pushed you away. The guilt always kills him, but it’s easier to keep you at a distance. It wasn’t fair to you that he knew. One moment holding you close then the next pushing you away.
Suddenly, your laughter filled his ears once again. It sounded too real to be in his head this time. But why would you be here? A million places on the archipelago, and you managed to make it to the auction house? Not to mention you were supposed to be back on the Polar Tang. So when Law turned his head towards the entrance, his eyes went wide seeing you standing next to Eustass ‘Captain’ Kid giggling.
What the fuck were you doing next to him?
“I can’t believe how you didn’t get tetanus! Any other death-defying childhood stories, Kid?” The sound of you calling him by his name had Law gritting his teeth. Since when did you get so close to the red-headed brute?
Law watched you and Kid continue talking and laughing. His fists clutched tightly when he saw Kid pull you closer and put his hand on your hip. Red plagued Law’s vision when he saw Kid smirk at him when he noticed the doctor’s vicious staring. The final straw was when the man made a sexual innuendo towards you when you weren’t looking while looking at Law with mocking eyes.
Standing up, Law marches towards you with a threatening aura surrounding him. You didn’t have the chance to say anything before Law grabbed your wrists and pulled you through the entrance before stopping just before reaching the outside.
“(Y/N)-ya, what the fuck are you doing away from the sub? And what are you doing next to Eustass-ya?” Rage dripped from Law’s words, but you paid no mind to it.
“Captain! What are you doing here?” The overwhelming smell of booze finally hit his nose as he heard your slurred speech.
“Are you drunk right now?!” Your giggling told him everything he needed to know. How much you had was up in the air as he saw you stumbling and struggling to stay on your feet.
“Pfft, since when does that matter? I’m speaking, aren’t I?” Law grabbed your forearms and held you in place, his eyes staring directly into your own.
“Don’t you know how irresponsible your being?! Drinking in this dangerous place and not to mention with Eustass Kid!” Your giggles soon stopped as you stared at Law with a sharp glare.
“Oh, cut me the crap. Since when do you care? It’s not like I’m that important enough for you to care. Plus! I was just talking to the man, and he seems to be just fine to me!” Law could hear an almost silent tremble in your voice as you spoke to him.
“If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be reprimanding you!”
“You sure have a funny way of showing it. Cause I could have sworn you were only Captain to me. Funny how I can call the most infamous new gen pirate by his name, but I can’t call my own boyfriend by his name!” His conversation with you earlier popped back into his mind.
“I was…upset, alright?!” You threw Law’s hands off you as you stumble back, a small hiccup forming in the back of your throat.
“Oh, so you can take it out on me then? Sounds like a healthy relationship.”
“Listen, I’m sorry, okay?! Happy?”
“No! I’m not! I don’t know what you think gives you the right to police what I do when you’ve shown time and time again to give a shit less about me! I’ve talked to Kid more than I’ve talked to you all month, probably!” Law rubbed his eyes as he tried to talk you through your drunken state.
“I don’t want to hear anything more about that hot-headed idiot, alright! God, how many drinks have you had?” He could feel his blood freeze when he saw you using your fingers to count the amount of drinks you’ve consumed.
“So if I had four this morning…and seven not too long ago…-”
“You’ve had eleven drinks today?! It’s not even three pm! Are you trying to drink yourself to death?!”
“Maybe I am huh? Ever think about that?!” A cold quiet settled between the two of you as Law watched tears finally fall from your eyes as hiccups left your throat. He could feel his heart twist and turn with each tear that slipped down your cheeks.
“What’s the point in anything if I cause so much trouble that my own ‘boyfriend’ ignores me for something I don’t know I’ve done! What’s the point in getting help if I just fall back into addiction, only harder?! I’m tired of all the pitiful looks I get from the crew when I walk away in tears after a fight! Sick of getting looks when I enter the kitchen! I know I’ve got problems, but it's hard to solve them when the whole world fights against me!” The man stood quiet as he listened to you.
“I’m not that strong, alright?! I’m not strong enough to just shrug off your words and actions! I’m not you, okay?! I can’t get over my problems by dismissing it! I can’t solve my problems by myself, and that’s what I feel when I’m near you! I feel alone! I…” Your sobs soon echoed in the hallway as your uniform started catching your tears. Law could only stand still as he felt frozen, your confession ripping him to shreds.
“I’m not strong enough to be alone…”
“(Y/N)...I-”
“Don’t. I-I think it’s best if we go back to the way things were. Your my Captain, and I’m just the crewmate who can’t get her shit togther. I’ll met you back at the ship Captain.” Turning around to leave, Law finally moves to grab your hand before you could walk away.
“Your not alone! I’m here alright! Let’s get you some water to sober you up so we can talk rationally okay? You shouldn’t be alone right now okay?! Your not! I’m right here so let’s just-” Tugging your hand from Law’s grip, you look at him with hot tears slipping down your cheeks.
“Even with you ‘by my side’ I'll always be alone.”
314 notes · View notes
heavenlycloud · 6 months
Text
y/n and her *inability* to say no to kazuha~ a compilation 
a/n: i’ve seen a lot of these compilation type fics circulating plus my youtube recommended always has at least one random compilation of something like this so i thought i’d give it a go here! 
i tried my best to format this to be like one of those youtube videos. the bold text means it's a caption in the video.
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ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ⤹˚˖♬୭ ♡
y/n and her *inability* to say no to kazuha
────────🦋────────
↻          ◁     ||     ▷           ↺
----˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹----✩°。⋆⸜ 🎧
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intro: *automated voice* 
hello everyone~ this is heavenlycloud. i just wanted to start off the video with saying that this is for joking purposes only, and i am not making assumptions about y/n and kazuha’s relationship. so please don’t doxx me or leave hate. okay lets get on with the video :)
*tv glitch screen*
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clip one~ 🦊{when y/n went all the way back home to bring kazuha food even though she had plans}
“okay so i just have a lesson this morning and then i think i’m gonna go shopping? it’s my first free-ish day in weeks so i think i’m just gonna enjoy today alone.” you spoke to the video camera in english as you walked out of your dorm building. a loud buzz from your pocket grabbed your attention and you showed your phone to the camera, “zuha is calling me.” 
you put the phone to your ear, “hello?” kazuha talked on the other line and you hummed along as she spoke before finishing, “unnie will get it for you zuha-yah. alright i’ll be there soon.” you both hummed before hanging up then you told the camera, “change in plans. zuha forgot she had a photoshoot today, and ordered food to pick up. but she’s getting ready and she won’t have time to get it. so now i’m gonna pick it up, and take it back to her… technically i think kkura unnie could have done it, but oh well.”
you continued filming until you got her food, then back to the dorm where she was waiting for you. the younger girl beamed as you handed her a bag with multiple small containers, “here you go. have a good day today. you’re beautiful! nakamura kazuha number one stunner!” you shouted out the last sentence in english prompting a laugh from the younger girl. she thanked you before you had to rush back outside to head to the company building.
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clip two~ 🦢{y/n dropping $6k on kazuha just bc}
DAYOFF season 4 was in full swing since you and your members had worked tirelessly for the past few months. stadium concerts, award show performances, and a months worth of comeback promotions had you and the girls spent. thankfully, you all were given another opportunity for a mini vacation with filming another season of DAYOFF. technically speaking, you all were still working since it was youtube content, but you all were free to do as you pleased. for this season you all were in singapore, staying in a 5 star hotel with a stunning view of the city down below. 
kazuha had mentioned she wanted to explore, and you’d suggested shopping which is how you all ended up in a seven floor shopping mall in the city. kazuha had entered with the mission of finding a new wallet, just something small and inexpensive that did it’s job. meanwhile, you were looking for a new handbag just because you’d grown tired of the same neutral colored bags you had. the two of you briefly looked in the Gucci and Dior stores but nothing caught your eye or kazuha’s. to be fair, she didn’t pay much attention to the bags the fashion advisor showed you since everything was out of her budget…by a long shot. 
the last store you entered for yourself was Prada in hopes that they’d have a piece you’d actually like. you immediately found a line that caught your eye, and asked an associate to show you the options available currently. much to your surprise, kazuha was engaged with the entire interaction, marveling at the alabaster pink handbag and wallet you requested to see. the younger woman’s gaze lingered on a powder blue version of the wallet you were holding, so you told the associate to also bring it over too. kazuha gasped, “it’s so pretty, i like this style a lot too.” there was a teasing tone as kazuha joked, “you should get this for me.” this only intended to be a playful comment she usually made when shopping with yunjin when the two found something impractical, unsightly, or outrageously expensive compared to their budget. when you pulled the associate’s attention once more, kazuha sneakily peeked at the price tag, on the wallet in hopes that maybe on some off chance she could buy it. yet, you noticed how kazuha’s eyes widened when she saw the $750 price tag. 
me seeing they raised prices by $0.25 at the dollar tree 
kazuha mumbled something about going to find the Daiso store on the mall directory outside when lightly pulled her back by her hand. you motioned for the associate to hold when you asked kazuha, “did you like this one, princess?” kazuha nodded and said, “it’s classic and not too flashy. it suits you really well i think.” you sighed and asked once more, “i meant for yourself.” her face fell and she murmured nervously while eying the associate, “yeah, i like this shade of blue…sky blue.”you turned back to the associate and told him in english, “all four items please, and separate bags. the blue is for her, and the pink for myself.” 
beside you kazuha quickly rushed out in a panicked tone, “no no no no no- unnie, i can’t afford to pay you for this kind of thing. i’ll lose it.” you let out a small laugh and said, “you’re right, you do lose stuff a lot…” for a moment you remained silent until asking the associate, “can you add the AirTag holder for the blue set please?” the associate smiled and quickly went to grab one to add to your transaction. while the associate was retrieving your last items, kazuha told you in a confused tone, “i don’t have AirTags?” the associate came back and rang all of your items up, “two Small Prada Galleria Saffiano leather bags, one in Alabaster Pink and one in Light Blue. two small Saffiano and leather wallet, one Alabaster Pink, one Light Blue. one Saffiano AirTag holder in Light Blue. which brings your total to $10, 971.” you shuffled through your four different credit cards and answered without sparing kazuha a glance, “i’ll buy you some.” you checked twice before choosing the right card, and tapping it on the screen reader. 
RICH GIRL Y/N (no actually wtf cuz how does she have a black card at 23?)
*bonus*~ {y/n dropping $6k on kazuha pt. 2}
“hello this is le sserafim’s kazuha. today i am going to introduce the items i have in my handbag.” the japanese idol held up the light blue handbag and pointed out, “this is the Prada Saffino leather bag, on the outside here i have AirTag in the matching holder.” she unclipped the holder and said, “i have 4 of these and they’re engraved with カズハ on the back. they’re very helpful with making sure i don’t lose my things.” 
y/n bought and engraved *FOUR* AirTags for Zuha
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clip three~ 🦊{zuha and y/n studio choom mix & max}
when kazuha was told that she was requested to perform for studio choom apart from her members, she was beyond excited. for the first time in her idol career she had full creative control over her performance with plenty of ideas to match. however, within a week of the three week long preparation period, she realized something was still lacking. kazuha lost sleep for days trying to figure out what the issue was, until she had a spontanous shared practice with you. 
although you were presently known as the main rapper of your group, it was very well known that prior to being an idol you were a dancer. classical ballet training along with some contemporary and lyrical dance made up nearly eighteen years of your life. you’d never completely left that part of you behind even after becoming an idol. since debuting, your focus wasn’t solely on classical training anymore, that had become a ‘glorified hobby’ as your choreographer called it. nevertheless, you found yourself dancing alongside kazuha during early mornings or late nights when the two of you missed your past a little more than usual. dancing alongside kazuha, you felt like that missing piece was filled as you both complemented one another so effortlessly. 
kazuha pulled out the filming camera to capture more moments of her behind the scenes process to her new project. you sat on the floor with one foot in your foot stretcher when kazuha nudged you, “unnie…can you help me with this project?” you looked up from your phone and set it aside, turning all of your attention to your member, “yeah, what’s wrong?” kazuha pouted and you poked her cheek until she admitted, “i really really want you to perform with me. can you?” immediately your face fell and your stomach sank at the thought since you haven’t performed ballet, contemporary, or lyrical in years. kazuha could see your hesitance and she explained, “i’m dancing to young and beautiful by lana del rey. it’s all choreography that you’ve done before i’m sure. i just know i’m missing something and it doesn’t feel right alone, but i can if it’s too much. i know you don’t really perform like that anymore so….” you shook your head and assured her, “no it’s fine. of course i’ll perform with you, zuha.” she beamed and let out an excited squeal before leaning over and throwing herself into your arms. 
the entire preparation process was a lot more intense than you thought it would be. although you had still continued dancing, doing a full scale performance required a lot more technique than practicing alone for fun. additionally, kazuha was also getting in her own head especially when it came to lifts and holds. if her hesitance continues then you’d have to get rid of the moves because she’d then be posing a risk to her own safety, and yours.
kazuha had been practicing with you for nearly three hours and you were still struggling to pull the performance together. you sat on the floor with your elbows on your knees and palms against your temples. letting out a deep breath you told her, “this isn’t working.” the younger woman reached for the camera that was still recording you both but you stopped her, “leave it on. it’s going to be fine.” you pressed your back against the wall and kazuha sat back down beside you with her head down. carefully nudging her, you motioned for her to sit between your legs, her back against your front. she obliged and you began running your hands through her hair, “relax.”  
your other arm wrapped around kazuha’s torso and you rested your cheek against her bare shoulder, moving her tank top strap away from your face. she let out a breath and you could feel that she was going to cry from stress. ever so gently, you kissed her shoulder and assured, “shhhh we’ll be fine. just relax for a minute, okay?” your fingers grazed her bicep lightly as you just kept your eyes closed for a moment. 
they’re so soft for one another i can’t do this anymore
kazuha lifted her head from your shoulder and stretched her legs from the folded position they were in. you opened your eyes and told her, “you have to trust me. i got you, i’m not gonna drop you or let you fall. i’m not gonna let anything happen okay?” kazuha nodded against your shoulder and you smiled, squeezing her side making her yelp in surprise. you gently pushed for her to stand up, “alright let’s do this.” 
and if you haven’t seen their performance go watch it NOW because they worked so hard
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clip four 🦢~ {members making kazuha ask for things because it’s the only way y/n agrees}
“we could be the winx club fairies!” 
“no”
“we could be the disney princesses!”
“no.” 
“what about the avengers?” 
“no because you’re all gonna try to make me the hulk.” 
“the friends characters?” 
“absolutely not.” 
“harry potter characters!” 
“Wait…never mind i’m just kidding. no.” 
you had turned down every suggestion yunjin and eunchae threw your way regarding a group costume for the HYBE halloween party this year. honestly, the suggestions weren’t bad but you just weren’t big on the holiday. yunjin and chaewon thought they were setting you up to say yes by having a livestream on, so you’d be inclined to agree to look like a nice unnie for your members. but, you knew their game which is exactly why you didn’t agree even though you liked yunjin’s first suggestion. 
eunchae read the comments and gave more suggestions that you continued to refuse until kazuha entered the room and distracted the youngest member. you beamed with a wide smile, “my zuha!” your other two members pretended to cry and dramatically said, “see she loves zuha more than us!” you rolled your eyes and denied with a smug grin, “no i love my members equally.” the comments flooded with fans jokingly calling bullshit, just because they knew you had a very small inclination to lean in favor of kazuha. 
you patted kazuha’s thigh for her to stand up and you murmured for only them to hear, “i’ll be right back.” when you left the room and closed the door, yunjin and eunchae immediately explained to kazuha, “we need halloween costumes and y/n won’t agree on anything so we need you to pick from our list and ask.” eunchae added on, “she’ll say yes if it’s you.” kazuha looked at the list on yunjin’s phone and quickly looked through online searches to pick her favorite one. when you came back and sat down, kazuha stood up before sitting back on your lap and playing with your fingers that rested against her leg. she shot a small smile to the camera and proposed, “fearnot are saying you all were talking about halloween costumes. did you guys pick one yet?” you shook your head and said, “no, do you have any ideas?” 
kazuha shrugged and said, “i don’t know some of the ones people are suggesting. i think they’re from american shows or something?” yunjin played along, secretly loving the way you were already starting to fall for their trap. she leaned over and showed kazuha a few of them just to make it seem like they weren’t setting you up. eunchae made small comments about the ones she liked until kazuha had yunjin stop on one internet tab. the japanese girl showed you yunjin’s phone and asked, “can we do this one?” she paused and then said in her best american accent, “monster high.” you looked over the screen and smiled sweetly, “yeah sure who do you wanna be?” immediately eunchae and yunjin’s jaws hit the floor as they sat in disbelief that you actually agreed after refusing both of them when they asked. kazuha let out a laugh and you did the same while the comments flooded with fans calling you out for your obvious favoritism. when you stopped laughing you looked at the camera and admitted, “everyone i was going to say yes to their costume suggestions later on, i swear. it’s just funny to see their reaction like this! i love my girls, don’t misunderstand okayyyyy?” 
sure y/n…whatever you say ;)
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clip five 🦊~  {y/n who’s afraid of water agreeing to swim with kazuha}
“what is something we don’t know about you?” you read the question aloud as it appeared on the screen in front of you. for the first time in weeks you had finally found time to have a solo livestream for fearnot after practice one evening. for a moment you thought and mused, “something you all don’t know… hmm.” suddenly you remembered the word, and said, “i have aquaphobia.”immediately you responded, “i’m not afraid of drinking water or showering. i’m scared of swimming pools, oceans, lakes, seas, and stuff like that.” 
you stopped for a moment and saw comments asking why so you explained, “when i was little my mom put me into swimming lessons. i think i was about five years old international age at the time, and my brother, was 13 or 14 but i can’t exactly remember?  at the end of the lessons we got out of the pool and went to find our parents in the lobby area. usually i got out of the pool and walked to find my older brother on the other side because he was on the swimming team, and they practiced while i was in lessons. this one day i decided i was going to walk through the pool to the other side because i saw another girl do it, and walking outside always made me cold. so, i jumped into the other pool and started walking towards my older brother. but i didn’t know this pool got deeper because the one they teach little kids in was all 1 meter deep. the water went from 1 meter to 1.5 quickly and i started to drown because all i knew how to do back then was hold my breath. i just remember i screamed a lot and i got water in my nose, mouth, ears, and eyes. my brother was the one that saved me because the lifeguards were with the other kids and parents, but heard me all the way across the pool and he was the one who got me. but after that i didn’t take lessons again until i was eight years old because i was too scared.” you skimmed the comments from fans and most of them said they also had a similar experience or said something else supportive.  upon noticing a comment regarding your brother you added, “yeah my brother is a good older brother. after that day he picked me up from lessons every time after that. he taught me how to float too in case i ever fell in again but even though i can swim now i don’t like getting in water anymore.” 
“unnie come to the pool with me!” eunchae insisted as she ran around the large house that your company rented for a new episode of a show you all were filming. you slipped on your flip flops and followed her so you could sit on the pool side and dip your feet in while she played. the rest of your members were in the kitchen cooking something for dinner, and had everything under control. eunchae jumped into the pool and you snapped a few pictures of her while telling her how cute she was. you heard footsteps behind you and kazuha sat beside you after taking off her slippers. eunchae waved the japanese girl over and kazuha slipped into the water and joined eunchae in her games. 
you simply watched the two of the girls as they enjoyed the water and shot each other with water guns and pool toys. eunchae ended up getting out after a while because she was tired of the water, but kazuha was still full of energy. she looked over at you and asked, “don’t you wanna get in? the wait’s really warm.” you thought about it and sighed, hesitantly taking off your mic pack and setting it aside. slowly you lowered yourself into the water, standing against the pool wall as the water stopped just below your neck. eventually you were chasing kazuha around in the pool and it was like you were never scared of water in the first place. the younger girl jumped on your back and wrapped her legs around your waist with her arms around your neck. she beamed, “thank you unnie!” you bent backwards a little and dipped her into the water before laughing, “anything for you, zuha.” 
332 notes · View notes
whimsyfinny · 2 months
Text
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.
Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut
Warnings: provocative dancing, slight Sam x Reader, jealous Dean
Chapter Word Count: 4211
—-MDNI—-
A/N: So I had to post this chapter in 2 parts because of how long it was and the formatting was weird otherwise. So here we are, and 2 part chapter! But yeah same as always pls let me know of any errors as I am the only one who proof reads this shit.
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Please read the below first:
Prologue Chapter 1
Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Chapter 4 Chapter 5
Chapter 6 Chapter 7
Chapter 8 pt. 1
I’m Not Your F*cking Maid
Chapter 8 - Part 2
Charlie eventually left after a few hours of convincing Sam and Dean that I would be absolutely fine infiltrating the club without them. At least at first. Some negotiations took place and after a while we all came to an agreement - I’d go in, scope the place out and unlock every door before leaving and letting the boys take over, handing over the intel on who everyone was and where they were stationed. This would make the kills less messy and reduce civilian casualties. Once this decision was made, we ate dinner before the guys went back upstairs to get as much information on the strip club as possible, whilst I went to finish the laundry from earlier.
I’d dropped Sam’s clothes off in his room before I headed Deans room to deposit his. Upon arriving, I twisted the handle and let myself in, breathing in the intoxicating scent of him before placing the neat stacks of clothing on his bed. Patting the top on the piles to ensure they wouldn’t topple over, I was turning to leave when something caught my eye. It was a pile of napkins and receipts crumpled up and tossed in the bin by the door - the same ones that made me feel so deflated earlier today. I smiled, feeling some semblance of relief course through me as I made my way upstairs again. As I walked I pondered; the Winchesters unknowing of the fact that I’d spent a short amount of time taking exotic dance classes. My ex boyfriend had paid for them so I could give him a ‘private show’ in cheap lingerie, and not to toot my own horn but I was pretty good at what I did back then so this should be a breeze. The only thing was that now I had a point to prove, and boy was I going to prove it.
I strode into the room where the boys were - Deans head in his hands and Sam’s face pressed to the inside of a book that was open on the table. He could have been asleep, if it wasn't for the fact that his eyes opened when I walked in. Without saying a word I grabbed an empty chair and set it in the middle of the room away from the desks and bookcases, making both men flinch at the abruptness.
“What are you doing?” Dean quizzed, lifting his head from his hands.
“Proving to you that I’m perfect for this case.”
Dean raised an eyebrow and I was unsure if he was catching on. I grabbed his phone from the table, unlocking it and finding the perfect song to play, settling on ‘Apocalyptic’ by Halestorm. At the start of the music he seemed to realise what was going on and he sat up eagerly, watching me intently as I undid my hair from its ponytail. I ruffled it up close to the roots, putting some volume in there as he went to stand up. I placed my fingertips on his chest and pushed gently, making him sit back down in his chair. I shook my head.
“Not you.”
He looked at me, puzzled; however his jaw dropped when I took Sam’s hand and urged him to stand. Sam had been paying minimal attention and just about knew what was going on when I gently pushed on his toned stomach, moving him backwards towards the chair in the middle of the room. I felt my heart do a small flip at the sheer size of the younger Winchester, this being my first time standing so close to him. And he smelt softer than Dean - less leather and gunpowder and more mint and fresh linens. I looked up at Sam through my lashes, watching his chest rise and fall more rapidly than before as he scanned my face. I smiled.
“Just relax, Sam. I Promise I don’t bite - at least not unless you want me to,” as the words left my lips I heard a SNAP and looked over at Dean, who’d now crushed the pencil he was using into splinters. I couldn’t help but smirk, starting to enjoy this perhaps a little more than I should. I pushed on Sam’s hips, urging him to sit, now in perfect view of his older brother. I stood in between Sam’s thighs and looked down at him, watching how his big eyes followed my hands as I slid them down over his shoulders and chest before running them back up again, tracing a single finger up over his Adam’s apple and tilting his chin up to look at me. The moment his eyes met mine his lips parted slightly and I leaned in close, so close that I could almost taste him. He let out the quietest groan and I whispered over his lips:
“I’ll try to make this enjoyable.”
I was bending over slightly, feeling my already very short skirt ride up. I sashayed around Sam, swaying my hips to the music and trailing my hands over his body with feather-light touches. Every time I did I felt him tense up or let out a small noise, especially when I crouched down behind the chair and slid myself underneath it, appearing between his legs and pushing myself up, my own legs straight and spread wide as I leant forwards. I now faced Dean, making eye contact with him as he watched me slide my hands up Sam’s thighs as I perched myself in his lap, swaying my hips as I pressed into him. I heard him suck in a breath at the contact, his manhood twitching in his jeans beneath the softness of my ass. I brought my knees and ankles together in a ladylike fashion before spreading them wide again, my legs pressing hard into the inside of Sam’s thighs. Deans knuckles went white as I ran my hands over my body and through my hair, biting my bottom lip sensually. Feeling Sam’s hands graze my knees, they slowly started to trail up my thighs as he snuck touches in where he could. My heart fluttered in my chest - his hands were already treating me far more gently than Deans did. I let him touch me for a few moments before I smacked his hands away and stood up. Spinning to face him I flipped my hair back, and slowly - oh so slowly - traced my hands down my own figure. As I outlined every curve I lowered myself so I was kneeling right before him - right between his legs that were spread wide like my own as my bare knees rested on the cold floor. I ghosted my hands up the inside of his thighs as he let out a shaky breath. I smiled up at him, but it seemed he was past the niceties as I noticed how dark his eyes had gone. I drew my hands back and spun around so I was now facing Dean whilst still nestled between Sam’s thighs. The older brother had pulled his chair out for a better view as his elbows rested on his knees as his large palms came together - as though in prayer - in front of his plump, kissable lips. He stared at me, unmoving and barely blinking, as though he were in a trance. Still on my knees, I threw Dean a coy grin before I placed my hands on the floor and walked them forwards, my ass now completely on show to Sam as my denim skirt did nothing to keep me covered. My back dipped in a feline manner as my chest came into contact with the floor, and I couldn’t help but think to myself that I would put money down that Dean loves this position for rough, pleasure-seeking sex. I hummed to myself at the thought of him fucking me into his mattress like this; one large, rough hand on my hip and the other propping himself up over me as he would moan my name and I would lose myself in his bedsheets.
I tore myself away from my daydream by sliding my hands forward so I was laying on my front before rolling onto my back, tilting my head back so I was looking at Dean upside down, my hair pooling around me. I gnawed on my bottom lip again as I planted both feet on the floor so my knees were bent and touching, before lifting one leg as gracefully as I could into the air and pointing my toes. Reaching my arms up, I gently touched my ankle and trailed my fingers over my leg, up my thigh - catching on my skirt and lifting it higher - along the soft skin of my exposed torso and over my breasts. I then dragged my fingers through my hair and over my scalp, my outstretched arms lifting my tank top a little - flashing Sam some braless underboob. I heard him moan and shuffle in his chair, however my eyes were still locked with Deans, and I watched as the older brother leant back and spread his legs a little wider, adjusting himself in his jeans as he laced his fingers together over his abdomen. Without missing a beat, I flipped myself back over onto my stomach and played the previous motions in reverse - sliding upwards so I was on all fours and then back to being just on my knees. I turned so I was facing Sam again, grinning at his hooded eyes and slack jaw as I placed my hands on his knees and pushed myself up to standing. I stepped around him slowly, my hands running down his broad shoulders as I moved to stand behind him. I leant down and whispered into his ear, his head dipping to the side slightly as my breath fanned out over his hot skin:
“Admit it, I’m perfect for the case.”
I watched his eyes flutter closed as he replied in a breathy voice.
“Yes… you’re perfect…” he paused, like he’d forgotten to finish his sentence, “…perfect for the case, I mean.”
I smiled as I stood up straight, catching Deans piercing gaze again.
“I’m going to bed - it’s been a long day. You boys should too,” my voice came out perhaps a little more sultry than I expected.
They both nodded, humming in response as I turned away, walking to my bedroom and leaving behind me at least one testosterone-field time bomb.
I’ll probably regret that whole ordeal in the morning
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Up Next:
Chapter 9
266 notes · View notes
svltzmans · 6 months
Text
take it out on me - h.m.
a/n: hi! i'm trying to get back into writing longer stuff that's not in headcanon format so let's see how that goes (also this was a requested prompt and 🫣🥵)
warnings: smut (18+), dirty talk, slight nipple play? minor overstimulation? hope is stressed :(, but not for long lmao, i accidentally deleted this whole thing and had to write it again, so sorry for any mistakes :(
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hope's stress-filled lifestyle was getting to her, and she knew it.
being both a full time student and monster hunter wasn't exactly the easiest thing, but she thought she would be able to handle it with ease.
that was, until, malivore decided to bombard the salvatore school with creatures during the week of final exams.
hope was constantly getting pulled away from her studies by alaric, and although she knew she was protecting herself and those she loved, she couldn't help but be annoyed.
performing well in school had always been important to hope, and not being able to prepare had her brain in shambles.
when hope finally does get to sit down to study, she just can't focus. she has too many things to think about, and she just can't seem to organize herself.
closing her book in dismay, she throws herself onto her bed and stares at the ceiling.
she decides that if she's not going to be studying, she might as well have company. picking up her phone for the first time in what feels like hours, she sends a text to her girlfriend.
exams are stressing me out and i think i'd feel better with you here.
hope stares blankly for a few minutes, awaiting a response, until she hears the door to her bedroom open.
"hey beautiful," y/n says, plopping down on the bed next to hope.
"couldn't even get a text back?" hope teases, giving y/n a quick peck on the lips.
"i was a little busy running over here."
hope can't help but laugh, admiring the girl in front of her. she was wearing an oversized sweatshirt and joggers that made her look undeniably adorable.
when y/n speaks again, there's concern in her voice.
"so, stressed about your exams, huh?"
"i just can't focus on reading my textbooks. dr. saltzman has me running around what feels like the whole world, and i'm just exhausted."
y/n's heart twinges hearing the pain in hope's voice. she rests her hand on her girlfriend's leg, hoping to provide some comfort.
"he relies on you too much. i know you're like, a powerful force and he's just an old man, but..."
before y/n can finish her sentence, hope is laughing harder than she has in days.
"you always know how to make me feel better," hope smiles, looking into y/n's eyes.
"actually, speaking of that," y/n pauses. "i had an idea."
y/n stands up, never breaking eye contact with hope. hope stares up at her, confusion in her eyes, but her questions are answered when y/n takes her hoodie off, her joggers following shortly after.
hope is speechless when she sees her girlfriend in a set of deep red lace. the color compliments y/n's skin perfectly, the material extenuating hope's favorite parts of her.
"god, y/n," hope chokes out. "what's this all about?"
"i thought i could, help with the stress," y/n seduces, wrapping her legs around hope's waist and resting her hand on her girlfriend's face. "maybe you could take it out on me, huh?"
the second y/n finishes speaking, hope pulls her into a passionate kiss, y/n's hands still resting on her face.
"i knew you'd like this surprise," y/n teases in between kisses.
"you're so beautiful," hope responds, holding y/n's waist tightly.
"take it off, hope."
without another word, hope makes quick work of taking off y/n's lace bra and underwear, throwing them across her bedroom before doing the same to her own.
unable to help herself, hope cups y/n's chest, running her fingers lightly across her nipples. y/n lets out a guttural moan, her fingers in hope's hair.
"fuck, hope," y/n slurs before giving hope a gentle push, encouraging her to lay on her back.
"i'm gonna fuck you until you can't think of anything else but me, nevermind stress about anything," y/n whispers, lightly kissing hope's neck.
y/n continues kissing down hope's body until she lands at her inner thighs, peppering them in soft pecks.
"please, don't tease y/n. need this so bad," hope whimpers, trying to raise her hips enough to ride y/n's face.
"oh i know you need this, hope. you're so wet for me already," y/n coos, just barely running her finger up hope's pussy.
"please baby, want it so bad," hope moans, her desperation growing by the second.
"want what, pretty girl? you gotta tell me what you want, or i can't give it to you." y/n knows that bringing hope to the brink of insanity makes the entire experience more gratifying.
"i need you to eat me out, y/n," hope begs.
satisfied by hope's response, y/n's tongue finally makes contact with her, sending hope into a state of ecstacy immediately.
hope feels like she can't contain herself, not even attempting to keep her voice down. she pulls y/n closer by her hair, unable to get enough of her.
hope's moans only motivate y/n, her pace quickening with every noise out of hope's mouth.
"can't be stressed if you're busy cumming on my face, pretty girl," y/n teases, hearing hope only get louder at the sound of her words.
"you just, you feel so good y/n," hope writhes as she speaks, her voice shaking.
y/n is relentless, not wasting a second. she knows how badly hope needs this. how badly hope needs her.
luckily for hope, the feeling was mutual.
y/n was in awe of the way hope looked under her, the desperation and need vibrant in her eyes.
without hesitation, y/n thrusts a finger into hope, earning a near-scream from her girlfriend.
"oh god y/n, more," she whines, trying to coax the girl into adding another finger.
when she does, the combination of y/n's fingers and mouth are almost too much for hope, sensitivity coursing through her body.
"need to cum baby, can't take any more," hope whines, struggling to form a full sentence.
"then cum for me, beautiful. let it all out," y/n talks hope through her orgasm, enjoying every second of her reaction.
hope somewhat collapses, her legs lightly shaking and her cheeks flushed.
"i don't think i'm stressed anymore," hope laughs, y/n soon joining her.
"always here to help."
355 notes · View notes
sunkendreams · 4 months
Text
twenty minutes.
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➾ pairing ; mickey altieri x fem!reader.
in which mickey sneaks into your dorm room and things become more heated than usual.
format: drabble — not requested.
word count: 2.5K.
warnings: SMUT (mdni), risk of getting caught, slight corruption kink, fingering (f!receiving), making out, biting, dry humping, dirty talk, mild degradation (use of slut), choking, obsessive behavior from Mickey, begging, teasing, finger sucking, very slight edging, ambiguous ending
author’s note: I wrote this because I love Mickey and I want to write a part 2 with phone sex 💀 also, first time ever writing for him, so hopefully it’s good and people enjoy it! I am also working on requests, but I’m also on-call for work, so I get pretty busy. Hoping to have a lot of stuff finished & posted next week! thank you all for your love & support !!! :)
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Mickey Altieri reminded you of a cat — elusive, cunning, and prone to climbing trees without much of a hindrance. The thick, sturdy oak that hovered by your window in the Delta Zeta House provided a place for your boyfriend to scuttle about, thumping a palm against the glass pane of your window.
He had a look in his eyes when you caught sight of him — devious and full of desire, glazed over with a sheen of mischief. It’s coupled with that pearlescent grin as you clamor toward your window, swiftly unlatching it as you glance over your shoulder. Your roommate is in the shower, a worthwhile time for him to come crawling in.
His timing is always impeccable.
This nightly ritual of him sneaking into your room is always accompanied with a giddiness and thrill. His dark tresses are disheveled, sporting a dark sweater that clings to his musculature. He climbs through with a silent grace, reaching for you before you can open your mouth.
“I’m doing all of the work here,” Mickey smirks, pressing a string of kisses along your jaw. “When are you going to climb through my window?” He questioned, tone playful as could be as his hands roughly pressed into your hips.
You and Mickey were still in this honeymoon stage of your relationship, where everything was glowing and bright, with sparks always flying in every direction. He oozes charm and charisma with every breath, and it never fails to pull you right in. He was becoming your addiction — your vice.
Sandalwood and bergamot cling to him as he sighs, hunching in over you as his mouth nips at your jugular. It elicits a low, simpering whine from you, serving as encouragement as Mickey turns that playful nip into a brief, rough bite. You taste saccharine underneath his tongue.
“I can’t climb a tree,” You protest, fingers curling into the front of his woolen sweater. “You have twenty minutes.” You huff, knowing that your roommate won’t be in the shower forever. It’s always the same heated routine — kissing until your lips are swollen, his hands grabbing your breasts, he leaves a hickey, and then he disappears.
Mickey groans into your sweet flesh, teeth idly grazing over your neck. “I want more than twenty minutes,” He uttered, peering down at your choice of wardrobe. It’s a ditzy nightgown that reminds him of summertime, speckled in hundreds of little flowers. He pinches the fabric between his fingers. “It’s not enough.”
“Kiss me, Mickey.” You mumble, a soft gasp tearing past your parted lips when he delivered a rather passionate kiss, open-mouthed with a desperate bout of tongue. He tugs at your nightgown, calloused fingertips tracing across the bare flesh of your thigh.
He was a dutiful boyfriend — eccentric and charming, a natural flirt with an obscene amount of wit. You adored that about him, but above all, you loved how much he spoke about you to other people. Mickey had this thing about staking his claim, and you weren’t about to tell him otherwise.
You can’t see it now, but there is a darkness festering inside of him. It’s always just at the forefront of his lascivious gaze, as if it might lash out and strike you. Mickey’s obsession with you transcended any normalcy, perceived as erratic and strange, but thankfully, you are none the wiser to his impulsive tendencies.
He loves your oblivious nature — it’s easier to control you that way.
Goosebumps form along the column of your spine, prickling along your body as his fingers slip underneath your nightgown, trailing along the waistband of your panties. He’s always teased you, but something feels different this time — it’s electrifying and exhilarating as he pets at your soft skin.
As your lips part, you stare at him incredulously, attempting to decipher his next move. “We can’t,” You protest, though it’s weak and lacking any sincerity. Your roommate, whilst prone to taking endless showers, won’t stay put forever. “Mickey.” You whisper.
“Why not?” He purred, teeth nicking your neck, which caused you to let out a soft gasp. Mickey’s lips soothed the bite with passionate kisses, tongue swirling over the newly-formed mark. “You going to stop me?” His lips curl into a faint smirk.
His laughter is delicious, alluring and full of a teasing mockery, one that causes goosebumps to coalesce along your spine. Mickey keeps it hushed, but you won’t be heard, not over the buzz of Duran Duran from your roommate’s radio.
His digits slip beneath the waistband of your panties as he hurriedly parts your legs, rucking your nightgown up towards your hips. “Maybe,” You squeak, voice barely above a hushed whisper. Mickey’s spindly digits playfully trace over your cunt, declining to touch your clit. “M—Mickey!”
You sputter, clinging to him like a drowning woman, grabbing fistfuls of his sweater as he swipes his fingers along your wet cunt. He’s devilishly enticing, and if you closed your eyes, you could envision his forked tail and silver tongue that continued to seduce you time and time again.
“This says otherwise,” Mickey’s tone has a playful edge of mockery to it as he kisses your jaw, unable to withhold the salacious expression that creeps onto his features. He revels in the way you whimper, hips jolting forward into his hand in an attempt to relieve even a lick of friction. “Want me to stop?”
He’s cruel.
Your pitiful, desperate expression screams for him to continue as you shake your head back and forth a hundred times over. “No, no!” You whisper, moaning when his thumb lightly traced over your clit. “Jesus, please don’t stop!” Your volume becomes heightened, and at that, Mickey decides to conceal it.
Mickey chuckles — it’s a dark and dangerous sound, but that’s why he has you so hooked to begin with. That aura of dominance emerges so quickly, and you’re enthralled, powerless to stop him. “You need to be quiet.” He cautioned, feeling you grab his wrist as you encourage him to keep going.
He does, much to your delight, fingers deftly tracing along your slit, drinking in the softness and wet warmth, thumb drawing circles around that sensitive clutch of nerves. Your cunt clenches pathetically around nothing at all, yearning for the sensation of his practiced digits.
A hapless whine leaves your lips when Mickey begins to test your limits, two fingers nudging at your entrance. It’s sluggish and teasing as he deliberates, gaze roving over your countenance. “You think about me when you touch yourself?” He questioned, mouth ghosting over yours as he pressed a string of kisses there, and then to your jaw.
Embarrassment rippled through you at the crass question, prompting your boyfriend to stop pleasuring you. Any sensations ceased, and made you moan in protest. “H—Hey,” You whimpered. “Mickey, baby, please don’t stop.” You groaned, feeling his hand lightly clasp around your throat.
“Answer me, and maybe I’ll keep going.” He chuckled, head cocked to one side. His muscled form loomed over you, casting a shadow across your body, moonlight swallowed whole. Mickey appeared predatorial and hungry in this light — ravenous for you.
“Y—Yes, I do, I — I think about you.” You mumbled, and to your relief, his thumb returned to your clit with a feather-light pressure. You rucked your hips forward with desperation, chasing after his hand. You were flustered to no end, burying your face into his chest, which he promptly stepped away from.
“Jesus,” Mickey sighed, drinking in your smitten expression. “You look so pretty like this.” At that, he sank forward, digits nudging their way inside of your cunt. Tightness followed, consumed by liquid heat as he began to piston his fingers in and out of your slit.
Another wave of goosebumps coalesced along your flesh, making you tense with excitement as Mickey gripped your throat with his other hand. Fingers squeezed underneath your jaw, applying pressure as he bit at your lip, surprisingly rough, hard enough to draw blood.
A startled gasp tore past your mouth, accompanied by a keening moan as Mickey found a rather vigorous rhythm. His practiced digits pumped in and out of your tight cunt, coated in your slick as this thumb brushed over your clit. Your body reacted in a violent fashion, desperately clamoring forward, friction electrifying.
The shower was still running, and you were awash with pleasure, cunt clenching around his fingers as he withdrew another moan from you. Mickey loved feeling your throat bob and tighten underneath his grasp, tracing the pad of his thumb above your pulse point. It was racing — beating at the speed of sound.
Molten heat pooled within the pit of your stomach as Mickey callously lapped at the blood coalescing along your lower lip, noticing the sheen of surprise within your eyes. “Doesn’t bother me,” He uttered, kissing you again with a force that made your head spin. “Tastes like you.”
Jesus — if it weren’t for your roommate, you would’ve been screaming. Your entire being ached for him in every way imaginable, hands grasping at his sweater. Mickey turned you around, pressing your knees into your mattress as he deftly felt his way around your body.
“Fuck, I wanna be inside of you.” Mickey snarled, brazenly biting at the dip between your neck and shoulder, having tugged your nightgown into all sorts of directions. His erection was prevalent, grinding against the curve of your ass as he pistoned his fingers in and out of you. “Would you let me?”
It all felt so quick, just heat and carnality, desire that had all rolled into an amalgamation of want. You hadn’t gone all the way yet — part of you wanted to save it for a time where your roommate wasn’t a few feet away.
“M—Mickey,” You whimpered, hips rolling and jolting into his hand, palms grasping at his bicep and forearm, something to steady you. “Please, please don’t stop!” Everything felt so feverish, as if you were trapped in some thick haze, unable to break free.
Mickey huffed, countenance etched with a playful disdain as he nibbled along the shell of your ear. “Would you let me fuck you right here?” He asked again, more pointed and aggressive this time, accompanied by a harsh flick against your clit.
Your head bobbed up and down over and over again in a series of indiscernible babbles and nods. “Yes! Y—Yes, Mickey,” You might’ve said it over and over again, back arching as he began to curl his digits into you, right into a spot that made your bones turn to dust. “M’close!” A desperate whine left you.
His cajoling laughter made the hairs along the back of your neck stand up, thighs rubbing together. “Course you would,” Mickey murmured, kissing at your neck, attempting to give you another hickey, something that he succeeded in. “You’re my little slut.” The sudden degradation made you bristle.
Admittedly, you shouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as you did, squirming and writhing against him as he toyed with your clit. You moaned, fingers clamping down into his arm so hard that you were afraid of leaving bruises. Mickey didn’t slow or stop, continuing that same, brutal pace as he brought you to your climax.
His hot, labored breathing fanned across your neck and shoulder, causing you to shiver as he grinded himself against you. The rough denim made contact with your haunch, content to rut against the curve of your ass. Mickey knew you were close, and with another steady barrage of digits, you shuddered.
You were drowning in a white-hot ecstasy, reduced to a sticky, whimpering mess at the hands of your boyfriend, whose grin was etched into the back of your neck like a brand. Mickey let you ride it out, spasming and mewling, hoping to let it simmer before your roommate finished her shower.
Mickey caressed circles into your clit, feeling your knees wobble, thighs quivering as you trembled like a leaf, rocking back against him. He was akin to the cat who’d caught the canary, pearlescent teeth glittering through the dim light as he slowly removed his fingers from your weeping cunt.
“Mickey,” You sighed, feeling him nudge you, coaxing you to turn around as he sat you down against your mattress. There was something vulnerable and exhilarating about it all as he loomed over you, head cocking to one side. “That was amazing.”
He smirked — a haughty, salacious smirk that made your insides turn to mush, heat pooling between your legs once more. “I’m not done just yet, sweetheart.” Mickey crooned, reaching forward to squeeze on either side or your jaw. “Open for me.”
An innocuous confusion fluttered across your features, and he drank it in — you were so innocent, so pious that Mickey fed from it. He watched in silent rapture as you opened your mouth, and again, his smarmy, playful grin was prevalent as he placed his digits upon the flat of your tongue.
A swarm of saliva began to pool within your mouth, a whimper erupting from the depths of your throat. You knew what Mickey wanted, and you elected to obey, able to taste the remnants of your orgasm.
Shyly, you began to suck on his fingers, watching the way his countenance blossomed to life with an insidious desire. “Good,” Mickey purred, placing his other hand against the back of your head, cradling your skull as he urged you closer. “Should’ve brought my camera.”
That comment alone forced you to press your thighs together, and your boyfriend, ever the watchful and observant creature, took notice. Through the dim light of your bedroom, he was as coy and cajoling as the Cheshire Cat, slipping his fingers down your tongue.
“Would you like that?” His voice contorted into something else — malefic and low. You barely noticed the lack of static noise as your roommate turned the shower off. “Should I film us together next time? Might make for an interesting movie.” Mickey uttered.
A familiar heat thrummed against your ribcage, slipping through the cracks as it rippled across your body. You suddenly realized that your roommate had finished her shower, and Mickey hadn’t moved a muscle — he knew. A whimper threatened to break free from your chest, hands tight and fisted within your lap.
When footsteps began to inch closer, Mickey took his fingers out of your mouth, replacing them with his lips as he kissed you. You exhaled, sharp and excitable, reaching for his chest again. It was hot and crackling with tension, even still. His erection pressed against your inner thigh.
“Next time, I’ll sneak over.” You murmured, feeling his lips curl into a grin as he pressed a string of kisses against your neck. As Mickey began to slink away, you grabbed his arm, staring at him with doe-like eyes. “We’ll have more than twenty minutes next time.”
Mickey smirked, beginning to climb out of your window and back onto the boughs of the oak. “I’m counting on it.” He chimed, and began to scale the tree back down and into the darkness. You watched him go, chest tight with the sensation of yearning.
Unbeknownst to you, Mickey intended on making a phone call tonight — and you were set to be the star.
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bartxnhood · 1 year
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wanna be yours | l.h
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luke hemmings x fem!reader
summary: luke had his eyes on you from the moment you met him so, it killed him when you couldn’t take the hint that he was in love with you.
warnings: two oblivious people in love, my bad writing, mentions of a lot of drinking
a/n: someone asked for jealous and protective luke ??? say no more. feedback is appreciated ! ALSO didn’t exactly turn out how i originally thought but it’s a good start !! enjoy !!
requests open
not proofread
Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
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there is a scene in a movie where the lead character and the love interest lock eyes.
they lose sight of everything around them, leaving just each other in focus. you never liked seeing those kinds of movies, thought it was cliche, and never believed in love at first sight. if you're being honest, it was overdone, unrealistic, and plain annoying.
but, it was fate that it would fall on you.
you didn't enjoy parties because there were too many people there, you didn't like drinking, and people were making out all over the place, some of whom were newlyweds and others who were having affairs. you hated being messy, and gatherings were messy. also, you made an effort to limit the number of your friends because you found it uncomfortable to be surrounded by so many people.
but ashton, your best friend, pleaded with you to attend this particular gathering. hours would pass, and just when you thought he had finished pleading, he would resume. so you gave in.
that’s how you found yourself at ashton's house, sitting in your car, staring at your phone, and observing the passing of time. It had been over fifteen minutes since you had first decided whether or not to do this. hearing the faint music emanating from the house, your chest felt constricted. you pushed open the car door and walked over to the home. attempting to summon the guts to enter by standing outside the front door.
when the door opened, there was a strong odor of alcohol, as well as loud music and conversation. while searching among the throng of individuals swaying their bodies against one another to find your friend, you regretted your decision to agree. when you eventually located the man after searching the kitchen, the other person standing by his side immediately caught your eye.
everything around you vanished in an instant, leaving you only able to concentrate on the man with whom you had just locked eyes. wonderfully curled hair, flawless skin, eyes the color of the sea, and just enough of his white silk shirt's buttons were undone to make you flustered. he was stunning. all of a sudden, the room contained only you and him. there was only you and him; nothing else or anyone else was important.
but you were pulled from that thought As ashton grabbed your wrist and said, "cmon!", you were jolted out of your trance-like state. ”i gotta introduce you to everyone!" the australian cheered and dragged you into the kitchen where everyone was standing; all of a sudden, you were the center of attention. you waved to the small group of people while saying, "guys, this is my amazing friend, y/n," feeling a little uncomfortable at the unexpected focus. “y/n, this is calum, michael, crystal, sierra, and luke,” ashton said as he made an introduction.
the small group of individuals exchanged smiles, and you shook hands with each person before approaching luke with a gentle "hello."
wow.
your palm touched his, you prayed he wouldn't notice your flushed cheeks, and you both nodded. he was the most stunningly handsome person you had ever seen, by a long shot. ashton once again grabbed your arm away and dragged you out of the kitchen before you had a chance to continue admiring his attractiveness. while waving the group off, you glanced over your shoulder. You weren't angry with ashton since he knew you'd never tried something like this and that you were making a big step by doing so. he also needed a reason to prove to his buddies that you were real and an important part of his life.
at night's end, you were sitting in ashton's backyard, lounging around the pool, admiring the reflection as lights danced across the water of the pool. even though roughly half of the people left, music continued to play. people said he would always throw the nicest parties, and now you understood why. but you simply weren't made for this situation; you were too uncomfortable and worn out from engaging with everyone for so long. You simply wanted to return home, binge-watch your favorite movie in the coziness of your bed, and eat some frozen pizza.
the word "hey" surprised you and made you flinch just a little. your eyes landed on the person standing above you, holding one cup while concealing the other in his pocket. luke apologized for the quick response, "oh, sorry, i thought you heard me," but you just shook your head. you shrugged and turned to face the swimming pool, saying, "no, it's alright, was just thinking." there was a little period of silence since neither of you knew exactly what to say. you had just recently met. “do you want a drink?” he asked. “oh, no thanks,” you said as you once again looked up at him. “i'm not really a drinker.” the blonde let out a gentle laugh. "but you came a party?" while scratching your forehead, you chuckled alongside him. “well, ashton is a push-“ over. yeah. that he is," luke continued your sentence and you laughed. “i think i’m heading home now, im way too tired to stay much longer”. you got out of the lawn chair facing luke.
his mind began racings, he didn’t want the conversation to end just yet. he had to think of something so he could see you more. “do you need a ride?”
your hands were crossed, and your eyes darted back to his and then to the cup in his grasp. "thanks for the offer, but I just live ten minutes away," you said. he extended his hand to you after giving you a nod and pulling it from his pocket. “it was lovely meeting you, y/n,” “you too, luke”
you had no intention of seeing luke again after that. you had your friend group, ashton had his own, and you happened to be a part of both. you had no intention of ever returning to another party unless you absolutely had to be there; that atmosphere wasn't for you. it was too much for you, and you just wished ashton would be more considerate of your decision. you knew he wanted you around; you'd been best friends since high school, and it was difficult for you both to have separate lives.
but fate had something else in store for you.
it was subtle when you first became aware of his presence. you ran into him a few times in town, which wasn't unusual. but then he'd show up at your job, or he'd find his way into the same restaurant you were in. it was amusing at first because what are the chances you'd keep meeting like this?
so you confronted him one day. “you know, if you keep this up you’ll have to take me out for coffee” you started, putting down the record you pick up. this was one of the many times you had run into luke while running errands. this time, the both of you ended up in a local record store. you heard him chuckle softly before turning to you, “are you asking me out on a date?” he leans against the shelf raising his eyebrow. you shrug, “more like telling you to take me out” he nods, leaning in closer. “i see..then i guess i’ll see you tomorrow?”
you and luke are two opposites but somehow you two hit it off
he drinks while you don’t.
despite your differences, you detested parties, and luke's life was spent drinking; not you. you've never thought that opposites attract. yet it was odd because as time went on, you discovered that you were rather similar. you and luke had a lot in common, and you got along just well. it was never dull or tiring since the two of you could converse for as long as it took, even until the sun rose. you frequently found yourself stranded in ashton's or calum's backyard, relaxing on the chairs after talking until the wee hours of the morning like you were adolescents.
each time the two of you are in close contact, there is tension. You adored the quiet glances you two shared. It was much more enjoyable because it seemed as though the two of you were barred from being together.
It was never meant to go this far. You'd been hanging out with Luke for quite some time. you've been wanting to be with him every other day for at least a few months now, waiting for his texts or calls saying he wanted to hang out or if he found a new restaurant he thinks you'd like. or the way he'd subconsciously hold the small of you back while leading you through a crowded area, or how he'd always go out of his way to make sure you got home safely.
it was never supposed to escalate this quickly.
you found yourself wanting to hang out with him even more, wondering if Luke would be there when ashton asked you to hang out. You started thinking about him all the time.
that's when it started getting more complicated. you knew something between you changed after being with him so long. and although you knew how it changed you, you were too scared to jeopardize anything between you not when it was fresh.
truthfully, you just displayed to him, that you'd always be available. you could say no to anyone who had ever asked you out because of your newfound feelings for luke. but you couldn't tell him that, it was too soon. but even then, you couldn't get the sound of his laugh out of your mind, or the way your name rolled off his tongue like it was meant to be there. you couldn't stop picturing what it would be like to lay in his arms, limbs tangled together as he sang you the sweetest lullaby.
unknown to you, luke made an effort to avoid you in the beginning because he knew he couldn't control himself with you. no matter how hard he tried to hide himself from you or push you away, you always managed to find a way into his head like an addictive substance. as you were the most gorgeous person he had ever seen, he wanted to shield you from all harm and evil in the world and would do whatever it took to ensure that everyone knew the two of you belonged together.
but, did you know that?
you began to watch him from then on, looking for clues that could point you in the right direction. you'd noticed him fiddling with his rings, then grazing over the leg of his jeans or joggers, slipping his hand between you on the couch. his hand would inch across the seat, pausing now and then. then he'd retreat without much thought, preferring to rest his hand on his thigh rather than bother with yours.
nothing would have made you happier than to come across his hand. any action would be preferable to simply waiting for him to take the initiative and pleading with your eyes as if it would help. you contemplated inviting him over, striking up a conversation, or even touching his hand. Instead, you remained silent despite your strong desire to speak but your inability to do so.
you have no idea how or why you began to feel more confident around luke; you were the shy and reserved friend before meeting him, but you changed completely after meeting him. and you knew people would judge you for it, saying things like, "oh, i can't believe you'd changed yourself for a guy!" however, this was not the case. he made you feel something that you couldn't put into words. maybe he inspired you to be someone you've never been before.
you were standing outside ashton's door, picking at your nails, debating whether this was a good idea. you were dressed differently than usual, wearing a tight dress with a large leather jacket over it to try to hide your body.
something like this was extremely unusual for you, and you may have been an idiot to dress like this for a man who probably only thought of you as a friend. but it had to be worth a shot, right?
you let yourself in, the music was blaring and the pungent smell of liquor was all too familiar to you. you pushed through the people and eventually got to ashton’s living room where everyone else was. they all cheered and greeted you.
ashton hugged you first and said a bunch of drunk incoherent words about how happy he was to see you. then you greeted luke with a warm while which he reciprocated. “happy birthday luke” you said, he nodded. “thank you, y/n”.
after the small reunion, the group dissolved. everyone was off doing their own thing. you found yourself standing outside, a cup in your hand filled with whatever you found. the night air was a bit chilly which caused you to curse at yourself mentally for wearing such a short dress.
“you look nice.” luke’s voice rang as he came up behind you. You looked over your shoulder and spotted him. “thanks.” you smiled, and he raised his eyebrow. “you dress up that pretty for me?” he was standing next to you now, his comment and proximity were enough to make you blush. “and what if i did?” you retorted. luke smirked, “i’d be thankful because you look so good in that dress.”
he leaned closer, keeping eye contact with you.
he was so close to you that your heart began to beat quickly. you were attempting to read him while his eyes were staring right through you. there are two possible outcomes here. one of two things will happen: either someone will interrupt you like in a cliché movie, or he has the ideal opportunity to kiss you right now.
he leans in even closer, saying, "i'd even say that you should start dressing like this too, it suits you." you felt the blood rush to your cheeks.
kiss me. please. just do it
you wanted him to make the first move because this moment had the chance to change everything. you didn't want to appear so desperate. luke must have noticed your begging expression because he started leaning in again, this time only a few centimeters from your lips.
oh, god. it’s happening. it’s happen-
“come on man, it's time for you to open your presents!" michael interrupted the situation by shouting from the kitchen. you sighed as you saw luke leave. you could almost sense the disappointment in his eyes as he turned to look at you to check if you were following him.
“okay, and it seems the last one is from….y/n!” michael and calum handed over the large box to luke.
luke unwrapped the box, displaying the guitar case as you watched. he looked perplexed as he tried to imagine what you may have given him. the one guitar he had been dreaming about was waiting for him when he opened the case. "y/n.." He takes the guitar in his hands and places it on his lap.
everyone who was gathered around him suddenly turned to look at you. he is the last one to do so.
"you bought this?" He asks, and you nod while beaming broadly. he had never looked so startled to you. how did you know, exactly? “how…how did you?” he trailed off.
"well, you talked about it for so long, and occasionally i caught you looking it up. so i thought, why not get it for you?“ you responded.
luke stood up and hurried to you after putting the red guitar back in its case. you were engulfed by his arms, spinning you. "im grateful. I have never gotten a present better than that. I promise i’ll treasure it” he smiles, “i know you will luke”.
and for the rest of the night, everything went great. until it didn’t.
"y/n," ashton said, pulling you out of your thoughts.
"hm?" he had a mischievous smile on his face as you dropped your phone to your lap. "have you ever tried playing the drums?" "no?" you shook your head. It came out as a question as if you were asking yourself a question. "why?" he approached you and reached for your wrist. "you're about to!"
ashton was perched on the stool and sat you down on his lap, having handed you his drumsticks and demonstrated how to hold them properly as his hands caressed yours. he explained that he would only have you play a simple beat. he taught you the basics and then let you play a few beats on your own. you didn't notice how close ashton was, how his breath tickled your spine, or how delicately his hand held yours.
you two were laughing because you couldn't play because you had almost no rhythm. "this is exactly why you guys are musicians," you laughed, rising from ashton's lap and returning his sticks. "nah, practice enough and you'll get good enough to join the band," he winked.
luke watched the scene unfold in front of him, how close ashton was, the way he eyed you like you were some kind of prey. his hand was supporting his chin, his elbow was resting on the couch arm, and his jaw was locked. luke began tapping his finger impatiently against his cheek, were you so oblivious? everyone was making moves toward you, and you didn't even look at him? he pushed himself off the sofa and out of the room to get some fresh air. if he was in there any longer he would explode.
he hated the fact that, despite your lack of effort, you had him in your grasp. luke hated how near the guys were to you and how they treated you like they were hunting prey. how did you not notice how they eyed you? how the other boys treated you like some kind of object. especially ashton.
we’re you so oblivious to their advances? did you not see how luke wanted to rip you away from them and keep you all to himself?
did you even notice his attempts to try and win you?
He wanted the world to know how badly he wanted you, how you were his, and that despite his best efforts to deny it, he was falling in love with you. Luke had difficulty accepting it, but he would go to the ends of the earth for you.
“what was that about?” you ask, after watching luke exit the room. calum shrugged, “who knows. it’s luke” he didn’t look at you as he was nose deep in his phone. you looked around the room, everyone seemed not interested. “he probably left because ashton was feeling you up” someone added. you huffed, grabbed your jacket, and walked outside to the patio.
you saw his silhouette and walked up to him. “luke?” he didn’t respond and you walked closer. “lu?” you spoke the nickname you had given him. he finally turned back to look at you.
you saw that look in his eyes, the only look he had when looking at you. “luke, what’s going on? why’d you walk out like that? did i do something wrong?” his back was still turned to you, refusing to look at you. “you just don’t get it, do you?” he still wouldn’t face you. “get what, luke? the fact that you’re ignoring me in front of everyone and leaving me in the dark.” you were feeling frustrated, upset that he wouldn’t even look at you. “god, luke, just look at me!” you grabbed his arm, spinning him around so he’d have to look at you now.
“talk to me.” you pleaded. your eyes begging as you stared into his blue eyes. luke hated it, he hated how you had him in the palm of your hand ready to do anything for you if you’d just say the words. he detested that no matter how hard he tried, it would always be you. “oh, baby,” his hand caressed your cheek. “don’t make me spell it out for you…you know i want you”
“what?” you were only able to mutter, feeling the heat take over your face. maybe it was the liquor, or maybe it just was the fact that he said those words. you opened your mouth to say something but he cut you off. “every fucking day, I wish you were mine- every single goddamned day.”
you removed his hand from your cheek, silently missing his touch. “how was i supposed to know you felt more for me than just a friend, lu?” you saw his brows furrow. “you never explicitly told me, you wanted me..why?” you trailed off, you watched as he tried to come up with an explanation. “you never, ever, use your words like.”
you watched as he examined your face. you were mad but calm. it scared him, we’re you about to reject him? “for someone who writes songs for his job, he would be able to express his feelings freely. i guess not.”
“how did you expect me to decipher the hundred different ways you look in my direction? this isn’t just on me yknow. luke goes quiet, his eyes looking deeper into your eyes than before.
“i thought my actions would say all they needed to” you reply, “i thought you were just acting as a friend? you and all the guys act the same” luke locks his jaw, balling his fits by his side. “they act that way because they want to fuck you y/n.” you look taken aback legging out a scoff.
“so what about you, then?” “what about me?” “are you acting this way because you want to fuck me?” you smirk as luke realizes he backed himself into a corner.
“i—no? that’s not what—fuck.” he runs his hand through his hair. “let me start over. y/n, i’m sorry i wasn’t honest and i’m sorry i didn’t use my words. but i want you more than a friend should and i need to know, do you want me that way too?” you try to hide your smile while you step closer and wrap your arms around his neck. “see now was that so hard?”
he looks down at you, raising his eyebrow. “you didn’t answer the question.” you let the smile take over fully. “luke hemmings i have been tripping over my feet since the day we first met. yes, i very much want you too.”
he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, allowing him to peck your lips. “i was hoping you’d say that”
(and you can predict the end u filthy ppl<3)
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hoodharlow · 6 months
Text
Groundbreaking
AN: idk just vibes and before you get on my ass that I copied Ree, I didn't. We literally talked about about it and exchanged ideas as we wrote our fics
Requested? No
Warnings: miscommunication
Word Count:
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"Hun, that red is fine." Brian reassured Miriam for the millionth time.
They were all currently at Jack and Miriam's house in Louisville getting ready for a Halloween party Jack was throwing. Miriam had the day off from performing The Nightmare Before Christmas because Jacob was out of town promoting Priscilla. So Miriam decided to fly home for the day. She was gonna go to the football game but she ended up staying home to finish her paper for a class and rest up for the party. She finished most of the paper; she just needed to finish the conclusion and format it in the way her professor wanted. Now she was color matching Copeland's tattoo with the cream colors she had to paint on Brian's head. 
"Dad, trust the process." Jack nodded. 
His phone went off, alerting him that someone was at the gate. He excused himself and went to see what's up. Outside was a FedEx driver holding a large box for Miriam, but they needed a signature. Jack signed it and thanked them. 
"This came for you," he looked down at the label, "from Thom Browne."
Miriam squealed in excitement then turned to Jack's dad. "Okay let's let this dry for a bit so we can add another layer and outline it." 
"Got it, thanks hun." Brian nodded.
Miriam reached for the box and opened it like a kid at midnight on December 24th. She pulled out two more boxes with Thom Browne's signature labels. 
"What is it?" Jack asked. 
"I commissioned a chef's jacket to go as Syd and the apron for–" 
"Yo Jack, you're up for special effects." One of his friends called. 
"Special effects?" Miriam asked. 
"Yeah for my Wolverine costume. I found some retractable claws at Caulfield's. Cool huh?" He said gleefully. 
"Jackman Harlow as Hugh Jackman…groundbreaking." She said flatly. 
"You're such a smartass." Jack chuckled, leaning down to kiss her. Oblivious.  
Miriam watched him go to the makeup table. It was taking everything in her not to cry. When the second season of The Bear came out, Jack and Miriam agreed to go as Syd and Carmy. Miriam in Syd's chef's jacket and Jack in Carmy's slutty blue apron look. In August after a three hour lecture she went to visit Thom Browne and asked if he was able to make them the chef's jacket and apron. He agreed and worked on them later because he was busy with his upcoming show for Fashion Week. Miriam felt like an idiot for doing all that when Jack went and did his own thing.
She put everything back in the box and went to the kitchen for some pomegranates. Maggie had brought some over from her tree and deseeded them for her. Miriam poured some in a bowl and added some lime juice and chili powder from the bottles of the dupe Tajin her dad sells. 
"You okay?" Katalina asked her. 
"Do you have an extra costume?” Miriam asked her instead. 
Katalina was going as the Good Witch, Glinda, from Wicked. 
“I have the accessories for Elphaba. Do you have a black dress and gloves?” her older sister asked.
“Yeah, let’s go upstairs.” 
They went to the second floor where Miriam’s closet/spare bedroom was. Miriam put in the code and held the door open for her sister.
“I know this isn’t the sweater you swore you’ve never seen in your life when I asked you about it when it disappeared when you left my place back in New York.” Katalina held up the light grey Marc Jacobs cashmere knitted top. 
“Oh how did that get there?” Miriam smiled sweetly.
“So what’s bothering you? Don’t try to act like nothing’s bothering you. I’ve known you since you were inside mom.” Katalina crossed her arms.
“Nothing.” she shrugged her off. A few seconds passed. “It’s just that we agreed that we were going to be Syd and Carmy for Halloween and I went to Thom Browne and got our costumes custom. Now he’s saying he’s going to be the fucking Wolvorine.” 
“Jack as Hugh Jackman…groundbreaking.” her sister said in the same sarcastic tone as her.
“That’s what I said!” Miriam exclaimed.
“What did he say when you told him?” 
“Told him what?” 
“That he forgot y’all planned to do a couples costume.” 
“It’s whatever.”
“Miriam, it’s not whatever. If something bothers you, tell him. Y’all are literally engaged.” Katalina went off.
“I’ll tell him later. I don’t mind. I was thrown off but I’m over it.” Miriam reassured her. “Now, let me find the lyrics to Moon River so I can be extra and sing it at the party.”
*
Jack stared intently at Miriam as her and her sister danced. He could tell they practiced the dance from the movie beforehand because Miriam had the same concentration face from when Britney Spears was giving her dance lessons for her movie. Before that her and Katalina sang Defying Gravity–well Miriam sang most of it and her sister danced in the back. Then she changed accessories to be Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's. As much as he didn’t mind watching her in a tight short black dress, he couldn’t help but wonder why she’s dressed as her favorite character from her favorite musical and not Syd from the Bear like she showed him hours before they went to the party. When Miriam is set on something, it’s rare for her to divert from that. 
A hand waved in front of his face, making him blink and break away from Miriam. It was Devin Booker’s hand. He had invited him to the party when he heard that Katalina was going. He knew they were talking but Miriam didn’t think so. Before the girls from the friend group went to the dance floor, Devin and Katalina were talking amongst themselves in a secluded corner. 
“You okay?” Devin asked him.
“Yeah, I’m confused by Miriam’s costume. She was going to be Syd.” Jack explained.
“From the Ice Age movies?” the NBA player asked.
“No,” he chuckled, “from the Bear. I wouldn't put it past her to be Sid from Ice Age.”
“And you would go as the white guy, I’m assuming.” Devin said.
“No, why would I?” Jack frowned. 
“I mean from what I’ve seen online, they’re a couples costume.” 
It took Jack a second then he looked down at his retractable claw. “Oh, I fucked up.”
*
The rest of the party went by in a blur. Jack and Miriam were back at their place devouring some tacos. Miriam finished and went to change out of her dress into one of Jack’s flannels so she could finish the last bit of her homework. She only buttoned the middle button of the flannel and one side of the flannel fell off her shoulder. 
“Do you want me to wait for you?” Jack asked when he brought Daisy back inside from her nightly potty break. 
“You can go upstairs.” She waved him off. “I have to finish the conclusion and triple check the citations page to make sure I did it properly.” 
“Okay.” he kissed her exposed shoulder and went upstairs. 
He passed her closet and saw it was open. He stepped inside and saw the box from Thom Browne. Jack genuinely felt bad he forgot they planned to go as their favorite characters. A light switch went off in his head. He took the box and went to their shared bedroom. He quickly shedded off his tank top and jeans, putting on a fitted white t-shirt and the blue apron. He opted to stay in his boxer-briefs, not wanting to be fully exposed. He saw one of Miriam’s pencil eyeliners and doodled some figurines on his arms and hands. He heard Miriam make her way to their room and laid on his side, resting his head on his palm.
Miriam took one look at Jack and rolled her eyes. “You’re such a weirdo.” she said, making her way to him. 
“Why didn’t you tell me you remind me about the costumes when I obviously forgot?” He asked, pulling her to his lap.
“Because I didn’t want to get in the way of you and Hugh Jackman.” she shrugged, running her fingers over the waist ties. 
“Miriam, if we agreed to do it, then we should’ve done it. I truly am sorry I forgot.” He said tugging her hands so she could look at him.
“It’s fine. You were kinda funny for going as the Wolverine.” she said passively.
“Instead of Syd and Carmy, we should've gone as Linguini and Remy from Ratatouille instead.”
Miriam scrunched her face. ”Why?” 
“Because I like you on top telling me what to do.”
Taglist: @heavyhitterheaux @cherry4everrr ​ @carma-fanficaddict ​ @youngharleezy @youngharleezyxo ​ @babyharleezy ​ @that-90s-girllll ​ @alinaharlow @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @webinurcloset @gassyandsassy1 @jackharloww @awhore4moree @noescapricho-essentimiento @neon-lights-and-glitter @purecinnamonextract @whywontyoulovemecami @camificrecs @itsyagirljaz @w1ldthoughts @vanwritesfan-fiction @xxkoolkatxx @sativachilombo
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kisakis-boyfriend · 4 months
Note
Making Christmas treats with Ranpo, but he pours hot chocolate into his sugar instead because the sneaky little detective is in the jolly spirit for diabates- And couch cuddles with smooches!
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Pairings: Ranpo x reader
Warnings: GN!reader, cuteness overload, baking that doesn't go quite as expected..., smooching
Genre/Format: Fluff; Oneshot
Please check my blog title to verify whether requests are closed or not! Thank you!
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“Ok... So now we just cream together butter and sugar. Got it.” You muttered to yourself, reading the recipe on your phone while cracking an egg into a small bowl
On the counter behind you sat your partner, Ranpo, drinking the hot chocolate that you made from scratch the other day. Creating your own dry mix was a bit difficult, since Ranpo decided to eat cocoa powder every time you looked away... Though you eventually mixed together a rich blend that the two of you could enjoy during your holiday baking marathon
“Hey, babe, can you put that butter in the bowl with sugar in it for me? Thank you.”
Honestly you should have known better than to take your eyes off of him for an extended amount of time... that never ended well. You'd learn your lesson today though
Turning around to find Ranpo tipping his mug over the bowl of sugar (and butter...he did at least do what you asked...). The entire world seemed to move in slow motion as you shouted a squeaky “Nooo!!”, watching in horror as half a mug of the warm, chocolatey beverage dissolved the dry ingredient and melted the fatty butter
Ranpo smiled that adorable eyes-shut smile, apparently pleased with himself, when he turned towards you. Words rose to the surface but quickly died on your tongue, leaving you to stammer in disbelief, flicking your gaze between the soiled bowl of goop and your giggling boyfriend. He broke the silence by explaining, “What? This recipe needs some chocolate! You should thank me for fixing it, y/n!”
“Ranpo you little shit! Why did you do that?!” Despite your shouting, a smile crept onto your face at your boyfriend's antics. You laughed as he started to mix his little concoction with a whisk, blurting out, “C'mere you! You'll pay for that!”
The bowl clattered on the countertop as Ranpo took off running with you hot on his heels, both of you playfully screaming during the pursuit
“You can't run from me, boy! I'll get you!” You shouted, rounding the corner into the living room. Ranpo chucked a throw pillow at you (how ironic) but you expertly smacked it before it hit you in the face. Eventually, you tackled the boy onto the couch, pinning his hands to the cushions and straddling his hips, exclaiming a hearty “Gotcha!” in victory
A pout found its way onto Ranpo's lips. “Y/nnn!! No fair!” Ranpo's childish demeanor is far more obvious when you get into play fights together
“Hehe~ Mess with me, I'll tie you down and eat every last one of those pastries while you watch!” You teased, to which Ranpo stuck his tongue out at you, unable to do much else since you had him pinned
“Stick your tongue out again, see what happens.” You smirk, staring your partner down in a heated showdown. As soon as he did, you closed the distance between your faces, startling Ranpo with a surprise kiss. When you pulled away he was pouting again, this time with a light blush spreading under his skin
Your triumphant giggles filled the room, soon joined by your partner encouraging you (oh so subtly) to continue kissing him, unless you're a coward! The bait worked though, seeing as you attacked his face with soft pecks; not missing his cheeks, nose, jawline, forehead, corners of his eyes, and really any inch of skin up there
By the end of your vicious barrage Ranpo was slightly less upset, giggling along with you. “Ok ok!! Jeez... I know you can't resist me, but can we finish baking now? I'm hungry!”
Ah, yes. His craving for snacks is never quite sated... “In a minute. Just lay in my arms for a tiny bit? Then we'll finish up, I promise!.”
Reluctantly, Ranpo's arms wrapped around you, hugging you close and sighing in content
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rouecentric · 2 years
Note
okay but the agriche family with a iskeai'd gen z reader?
lante : i could kill you
reader, sitting crossed legged on the floor trying to find service on their phone : yeah you could but so can a dedicated duck with ambition
lante : ...
the agriche members present : ...
the agriche servants, soldiers, and workers : ...
reader : so...um, do you have like data, wifi or even a charger? this isn't exactly how i expected my day to go but who am i to complain?
you're batshit creative, i like you. OKAY BUT GEN Z READER WITH YAN!AGRICHE FAMILY?? HOOH, YOU'RE JUST ASKING FOR CHAOS. i'm using a different format just so i could write more efficiently btw / crackfic hc's taken seriously, probably.. - lowercase intended - i also decided to make gen z!reader into something of a know-it-all(i'm generous, i know x) - p!yan!agriche fam btw
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-okay so, you were REALLY close to finishing reading the novel, like ten words away from finishing it and you somehow had this feeling of tiredness crashing down on you?? you tried to continue reading it but your goofy body said 'nope!' and you passed out
-when you woke up you realised you were in some victorian-esque villain manhwa looking house in some god damned room
-and that's when it hit you ''where the hell even am i??? 😕''
-turns out your dumbass somehow subconciously travelled to a different REALITY??? shocking
-you quickly sat up with your legs crossed, grabbing your phone and pushing your hair away from your view, and that's when you saw multiple people surrounding you, it looked like to be multiple staff, such as maids, butlers and guards
-and then you know what you saw? some emo looking fuck with a receding hairline😖(yeah, you heard me, RECEDING HAIRLINE.)
"i'm sorry, but, do you know where i am?? " you asked, looking at the man in front of you, staring dumbfounded.
"you woke up in the agriche's household and all you can say is 'where am i'? i could kill you right now, kid." the older man, lante agriche, answered with somewhat of a cold tone.
"look sir, anyone could kill me, even some random duck with enough ambition could do it! but then again.. the same could happen to anyone in this room if i were to be honest." you snidely shot back, staring at the red-eyed man. the whole room went silent, with only the sound of your incoherent mumbling on some square device fumbling around, which you refer to as a "phone".
only when you turned your head did you see the all-too familiar blonde with red eyes did you spoke with an unsure tone and confused expression "are you roxana agriche?"
the blonde quickly nodded and curtsied, confirming your question.
"shit, am i dreaming or did i just get isekai'd?" you quickly asked, raising your hand to your cheek, pinching it before quickly holding it gently "fuck..yep, i guess i did somehow get isekai'd.." you mumbled.
"isekai'd? wait.. they got isekai'd here?! then they must know the story, right?" roxana agriche thought with a bewildered expression.
"father, if you would, can you keep this kid alive? although they seem to be in a state of shock, they're bold and brave enough to answer you without showing fear. they might be useful enough to keep them alive." the red-eyed woman asked her father, walking next to the kneeling person in the middle of the room.
you could feel multiple eyes on you, but that didn't matter, as the man in front of you was the one who'd determine your fate in a world you just got into.
-thankfully, lante begrudingly agreed, only demanding that you'd be locked in a room close to his office
-you were personally investigated by lante, and when he asked you about the rectangular device you were holding, you confidently answered his question, even telling him how it works and how it's made (god damn you're smart😧)
-he probably made you sign some sort of contract if you wanted to be able to leave your room that you wouldn't cause any problems for them
-every time you're out of your room, you're assigned to be with either roxana or sierra, because although they're not that sane, they're still the sanest people you can interact with
-sierra probably saw achilles in you, so she treated you like you were her own child, which had a lot of pros, actually
-one of the only cons it had was going with sierra to the tea parties maria would have, and the older brunette would show off her "dolls"
-maria would be delighted to have a new person joining her tea parties! she normally wouldn't, but you're going with sierra, a woman she's obsessed with bc she looks like a doll
-maria would also probably tell you that you look like a doll, therefore your nickname from maria being "doll"
-oh well, looks like you're now inclined to go to her tea parties from now on!
-of course, the longer the two of you interacted, the more you and sierra got along. but by being close with sierra, you were bound to also be close to roxana
-roxana found comfort in your personality and existence, you were the only thing left that could remind her of her past life, so she asks you to assist and escort her most of the time
-she also brought in multiple seamstresses/tailors to sew your clothing so you'd look as amazing as her in those silk clothes
-roxana has one or more of her butterflies following you, just in case deon or any other member were to approach or threaten you
-she also gets you a loyal and capable maid that will do everything for you, don't stress your pretty hands, legs and fingers over trivial things, just let the maid do the work x
-of course, since you're close to roxana and her mother to such an extent in a rather short period of time, jeremy was also bound to get curious about you
-but if i was honest, it's reasonable, who can be confident and bold in front of the head of the agriche family AND catch the attention of the second heir of the agriche family and SURVIVE?
-well, you, obviously 😐
-anyways, i think jeremy would ask roxana to let him meet you, and after a week or so she'd finally give in, arranging the time for him and you to meet, it was decided to be in roxana's room the day after roxana gave in
-and when the two of you finally meet? shit goes loose, jeremy kept on asking you questions, to the point you'd probably go mad
-thankfully you didn't lose your shit and refrained from yelling as well as hitting him, he found you quite interesting! so good luck with a curious jeremy and an overprotective roxana+sierra as well as obsessive maria
-you met grizelda in the gardens, with you simply going to fawn over how well the flowers are being cared for. unfortunately, the brunette was walking into the same direction as you were. it was like a start of a cliche romance novel; a romantic meeting in a garden full of colorful flowers, the both of you greeting each other, with grizelda deciding to escort you back to your room, promising each other to talk to one another more
-your meeting with charlotte was..weird, to say the least, it took at the time when charlotte yelled at roxana for taking away her "toy", or something like that
-of course, you saw how the event went down in the manhwa, but seeing it in real life is.. well, terrifying, so when roxana left the corridor without a care after traumatising the red haired girl, you ran to her, trying your best to comfort charlotte in the best way you could
-after that, charlotte tries her best to be more mature and is clingy with you, not wanting you to end up like sierra. looks like you tamed another agriche!
-your relationship with fontaine is rocky, on one hand, you want to beat him up for being sexually interested and in love with his half sister, but you also pity him for growing up in such a family
-fontaine regards you in a highly manner, seeing you as a dove, someone that keeps him and everyone else company, deeming himself as your prince charming, the one who will protect you from such a cruel world
-now back to lante, you usually have dinner with him as to talk to him about stuff, but with you usually talking about the other agriches and even more so, giving him small suggestions that could help him(more like his family) in the future
-he definitely takes some ideas of yours into consideration, and slowly overtime sees you as his own child, you're obv his favorite btw
-and with the pros of the head of the black agriche seeing you as his own child, you get spoiled, like, REALLY SPOILED. you also get a better room with a decently sized balcony
-roxana and jeremy were happy when they were informed that your crusty and musty dark room was renovated into a more grander room, like damn you have an aditional room for your CLOTHES, AND, and, your bathroom looks grander
-roxana's goals also start to slowly change, not only is her goal now to keep you alive, but to get more money and leave with you from the agriche dukedom after keeping cassis pedelian alive
-sierra becomes rather clingy in a week with you, you're like the second sanest person here(probably..she doesn't know of your dark humor and florida man actions)
-speaking of florida man actions, lante is growing white hairs bc of your dumbass, how the hell did you, NOT ONLY, bring an entire LIVE BEAR inside the mansion and WRESTLE IT, but YOU ALSO SOMEHOW WON???
-no one lets you leave the mansion without supervision now
-please stop singing mitski lyrics, you're making everyone melancholic and sad, even more if you memorized the piano notes and sing her songs while playing the piano(maricore💋😍🙏)
-you definitely sang jeremy to sleep by singing "i will" by mitski in a hushed voice
-as always, bc you sing songs that are from a literal different world, people think that you personally wrote them and deem you a lyrical genius
-look, you're trying to live and desperate times call for desperate measures, so you accept the fact that people think you write the songs and move on
-lante probably ordersasks you to play the piano for him when he's working or stressed out(que your dumbass playing duet made by omori)
-look, you're gaining more and more (positive) attention by the day, you're now rumored to be "the agriche's capturedb siren" or sm dumb like that, an "angelic siren" taken by the head and gifted with a voice that could calm down all of the agriches if wanted, so be prepared to out of nowhere get tutors hired, as you're now known outside the agriche family and will need to join the banquets the five dukedoms go to yearly, as lante obviously treasures you and wants to show you off to the world
-of course, roxana and jeremy were opposed to it, why should the others expect the treasured person of the agriche's to act accordingly to whatever idiotic rules and ideas on how to act!
-surprisingly enough, the etiquette teachings and rules were pretty much the same as those cliche isekai/victorian romance novels, quickly rising to the top as one of the most proper and smart students the tutors ever had
-with your surprisingly huge attention on you, deon was bound to get involved with you
-he really had no choice! he personally felt like he needed to know of this "siren" that captured the hearts of the agriche children
-but he was rather taken aback by your personality, you weren't afraid of him, and it seemed like you weren't going to use him to your advantage
-he had no choice but to get used to your weird personality and actions, getting more and more closer to you
-deon is naturally a possesive man, but can you blame him? his mother hates him and his father only sees him as a tool to continue the agriche bloodline
-so when some eccentric kid takes the agriche dukedom by storm and becomes friends with everyone including him? he'd obviously be overprotective of his sibling! >:(
-please don't be mad at the man when he tries to lock you in your bedroom so you wouldn't run away when you gave him physical affection, he's new to it and doesn't want this fuzzy feeling in his heart to leave, it's pleasant, so just lightly scold him on how that's not the correct way to treat someone you care about
-roxana and jeremy didn't like it. why were you even so close to dion? don't you know he killed roxana's older brother? don't you understand? you're their sibling, not deon's!
-roxana definitelyprobably punishes you by either: starving you, breaking a bone of yours or using your blood to feed her butterflies. of course she does apologise everytime she does it! but you need to learn your lesson!
-jeremy would lock you in a room without any lights and doesn't let you out until you sincerely apologise(and that "sincere apology" you crying while screaming about how you're sorry and cling to him)
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stinkyme · 1 year
Text
Hello! I made second part of this, thank you for the love you showed in the first part! It means a lot, truly! <3
First part:
Characters: Dazai, Jouno & Nikolai x GN!Reader
Format is a short scenario. :)
CW/TW: none, I think, GN!Reader and loving petnames
I hope you enjoy this and I apologize for any mistakes in advance! :)
Also I don't know how to make hyperlink on my phone, bear with me :")
Little pranks on BSD men || BSD characters x Reader
Dazai
You had a rough morning, getting prepared for work and somehow everything was awfully wrong. You couldn't calm down your hair, you kept tripping and none of your clothes seemed to fit the way you wished it to. Somehow you pulled yourself together when your phone buzzed. A message.
Dazai: Can't wait to see you, heheheheee~
His message made you feel a bit better and as you were leaving bathroom, you got this amazing idea. Why not torment Dazai today? You packed a roll of toilet paper in your bag.
As you arrived to work, Dazai came up to you, giving you a kiss.
"Hellooooo darling, you finally came." he said in his usual, expressive and excited voice and you giggled, hugging him.
Luckily Dazai wasn't wearing a coat today.
He went to bother Kunikida, meanwhile you greeted rest of your coworkers. They were all piled in work, focused and trying to finish it up as fast as possible.
"Dazai, come here." you said in nonchalant voice; your usually all noticing boyfriend didn't have any idea about your plan and came up to you.
"You have some string here, let me cut it for you, turn around." he tried to see for himself but his eyes couldn't reach so he just turned around waiting for you to do your thing. He didn't really expected anything since you always did this sort of things for him.
You put your hand in your bag, saying how you are just looking for small scissors while pulling out a roll of toilet paper and scissors. You cut through nothing just for him to hear noise of scissors.
"Wait, your shirt is out, stay still." you ordered, pulling end of toilet paper into his shirt and then in his pants.
Yosano and Atsushi noticed and gave you questionable look. You just put fingers over your lips, smiling and they smiled back.
You've put roll on the floor by lowering yourself, 'cleaning his pants'.
"Oh not here, love, you are so naughty, did you just want to touch my butt?" Dazai teased. Couple of your coworkers giggled, meanwhile Kunikida gave him warning look.
"Ah, I am busted." you laughed.
"All done, now I wanted to show you something." you came to him, putting your arm under his, not letting him turn around and you walked with him all around the office, talking about some nonsense like how you should hang your pictures on walls, etc.
Dazai seemed invested in conversation and he loved doing anything just to skip work, just as much as you did.
Roll kept rolling, covering the floor, got wrapped around Kunikida's chair and that got his attention. Everyone else tried to keep in their giggles when Kunikida took a deep breath, adjusting his glasses.
"DAZAI YOU STUPID BASTARD! NOT ONLY YOU ARE A BANDAGE WASTING MACHINE, BUT TOILET PAPER TOO! STOP SLACKING OFF YOU LAZY ASSHOLE!" he was screaming out, Dazai was confused, you started laughing and everyone else just busted into laughter.
Dazai looked around and saw trail of paper and saw it was coming out of his ass basically. He looked at your flushed face, you were holding your tummy.
"Oh, I see, so you did this little dirty trick, how meaaaaaaaan~" Dazai whined out, but clearly entertained.
"Sorry, sorry, it was just a small prank. Sorry Kunikida, don't get mad." you brought your hands up as defence and to push your innocence.
"Get your asses back to work. Now." Kunikida ordered sharply, he was visibly ready to strangle you both. You got scared.
"Yes sir." you both said quickly and went to sit down opening up your laptops, not even cleaning behind a mess that was made.
(you did stay after work hours to do so, unfortunately)
Jouno
Jouno was a man who had a lot of courage. He wasn't easily scared, he could feel and sense anything. One day you were on your walk and saw a baby raccoon and your heart sank as you couldn't leave it there so you brought it home. You knew Jouno won't like this but who asked? You couldn't leave it alone and in cold. However, you decided to see how would he react, but...away from home. You fed your new family member, left it to sleep and you went to local café to be "safe" once Jouno meets new friend he didn't ask for.
Jouno came home and immediately felt something was wrong. You weren't here and he could hear weird, unfamiliar heartbeat. He slowly moved around the house, he could sense its presence was so...small? What the hell? Is this an ability?
"Come out you coward!" he yelled out.
"I know you are here, show yourself."
His "enemy" wasn't moving and he was confused. It was...on the couch? No. It just went under couch. What is going on? He immediately called you and you picked up, answering like everything is fine and you have no idea about an intruder..you brought in.
"Are you okay? There is something really weird going on and AAAAAAAAH!" Jouno screamed. His senses were too focused on you, he didn't sense little creature coming to him and jumping on his legs, hugging them tightly.
"THEY ARE TRYING TO CAPTURE ME! CALL REST OF HUNTING DOGS! NOW!" he yelled in your ear and started wiggling around to get off this criminal of his legs. You started laughing, tears coming to your eyes and your tummy hurting.
"Cap..capture you? Hahahahahahhhhahahahah"
Jouno kept twirling around, trying to hold his phone, yell at you and get this creature off of his legs.
"WHAT IS SO FUNNY TO YOU? ARE YOU INSANE?" he yelled out visibly overwhelmed and stressed.
"Okay, calm down, caaaalm down, it's not an intrudor, it's uh..um..well.." you tried explanining yourself.
Jouno then realized 'intrudor', 'criminal' and an 'enemy' stinks horribly. That and the fact it didn't move or harmed him.
"Is this..a child? It smells like shit dirty diaper. What is this?" Jouno asked you.
"Um..no, don't be mean Jouno..it's, heh, a baby raccoon.." you said hesitantly.
"A...baby.....raccoon....raccoon?" Jouno was in disbelief.
"What the hell Y/N? Why do we have a fucking raccoon in our house?" he asked.
"LOOK, I felt bad and it was freezing, I couldn't leave it outside, you would do the same!" you tried to convince him. He wasn't even bothered by the fact raccoon kept hugging him because he was so out of it.
"No, no, I wouldn't to the same. Or I would at least ask you before I bring home some hairy dumpster disgused as a raccoon. This dude stinks and I want to vomit. We won't keep him, no matter what." he said firmly.
"First of all, I will give Jouno Junior a bath.." you started but he cut you off.
"YOU NAMED HIM TOO? Jouno Junior?? That sounds insanely stupid Y/N." he was serious.
"Khm, it's Jouno Junior so his nickname can be JounJoun, I think it's cute! It sounds french and rich.." he cut you off again.
"No, it sounds like he is a local alcoholic who would get bullied by everyone how his parents didn't love him enough." Jouno said seriously. JounJoun still wrapped around his legs.
"Well, you would bully him because you are mean! I think it's lovely. Second of all...I think your coworkers would be thrilled to know how big, strong, brave Jouno was yelling like a little girl because he was captured..by a raccoon. Baby raccoon." you said firm but teasingly.
"..."
"We will discuss another name once you get home." Jouno said after some silence.
"Sounds good!" you started giggling.
Nikolai
You were bored, waiting for Nikolai to come home from a meeting, but you knew he had a mission right after. He worked a lot and you had understanding, but you wanted to entertain yourself.
You noticed that he left his cane behind and you got a little lightbulb moment.
You took the cane and decided to decorate it. You had plenty of stickers and some paint because you loved to be creative and constantly used those for either your notebooks, walls, letters and such.
You covered his cane in ducks, fairies, anime characters, barbie, bratz, clowns and some other animal stickers. It was fully covered, it looked horrifying and you remembered you had a rubber duck so you decided to glue it on handle of his cane in order for when you squeeze it, it lets out noise. You loved your craft and decided to wrap some long scarf around your neck so it looks like a coat, similar to his.
You painted your nose red and practiced for your role. You had so much fun, giggling and poking his decorated cane into air.
You heard door knob and took prideful stance.
"Sorry it took me so lo-..." Nikolai said as you loudly exclaimed.
"Squeak in front of me peasant!" you said and squeezed rubber duck that made squeaky noise.
"This place is too small for two clowns!" you playfully threatened him with a cane.
Nikolai's eyes scanned you. From your red nose, down to your self crafted outfit, over his freshly decorated cane. He was in shock for a second but started bursting in laughter right after.
"HAHAHAHA YOU ARE AMAZING, ABSOLUTELY AMAZING Y/N! WHAT A LOVELY SURPRISE, WHAT A SHOW TO ATTEND!" he was saying through laughter, coming closer to you to lift you up, moving in circles.
"You are a natural! I don't think I can win against you!" he laughed and put you down in front of him.
"So you are not mad?" you asked him guilty.
"You know..I ruined your cane.." you kept in apologizing voice.
"Ruined it? Don't be silly! You gave it more character! I absolutely love your creativity. You know, I have another one, you can make us matching ones." he smiled at you, stroking your head.
"Really?!" you said as your eyes got bright.
"Really!" he said back in excited voice and pulled you in for another hug.
The End :)
I hope you enjoyed and thank you once again! :)
Feel free to request if you want other characters to be added as well. :D
Thank you for reading! <3
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14buddy22 · 9 months
Note
omg hi!!!
i saw ur post about aaron requests! im not too sure what format to put this in but could i request a secret relationship reveal fluff w/ mr hotchner please?
thanks a bunch and have a nice day <3
Thank you for the request!! One request down, many to go :) I hope you like this anon!
It was no surprise that you and Aaron actually ended up together. Your chemistry from the first time you met really just set the tone for you two now.
You two had been dating for nearly a year now. It was decided early on that you wanted to keep it a secret for a long as you could, even if the BAU were trained profilers.
The good thing was, nothing in your routine changed when you got together. He still got up early, came to work early, and you slept in, coming to work barely before you were scheduled to clock in.
The hardest part was when you wanted to leave for the day. You couldn't just waltz in his office, telling him to come home, you had to get in your car, drive home to see Jack, and then Aaron was home between a half hour to an hour later.
When you were away on cases, it wasn't unusual that you two didn't share a hotel room, especially when you two were best friends for 10 years before getting together. Your team would have thought it was weird if you asked to stay with someone else.
You loved working with him and you loved spending all your extra time with him. That's why on a Saturday morning, no cases coming in and just getting back from a longer one, he wanted to spend the day with you and Jack.
After sending the text to the BAU at midnight last night that everyone had the weekend off, you already started planning what you wanted to do with him and Jack.
As you got your morning started with breakfast, you and Aaron quietly talked about what you guys could do with Jack today.
"He's been wanting to go to the zoo, do you want to go?"
"Yeah. We can go. That'll be fun. And, it's far enough away where I can hold your hand and kiss you in public."
You rolled your eyes at Aaron's comment. Hiding your relationship was getting harder and harder, especially when you saw yourself marrying this man sooner than later.
"If you would man up and tell the team, you could kiss me and hold my hand in public all you want."
He kissed you in the kitchen and he said, "I just want to protect you. Protect us."
"I know. But I'm in the same line of work as you. The team would be happy for us, Aaron. You have to know that."
"I know they would, but maybe we should really get married, that would be the biggest shock to them."
"I don't know if the girls will ever forgive me if I got married and didn't tell them."
He laughed at that, knowing the girls have tried to se you up on multiple dates within the past year but you kept telling them that you're not ready, it was only the same excuse for so long.
When Jack finally came downstairs for breakfast, you talked about going to the zoo and he was excited. Knowing he had his Dad and you off together, spending time with everyone, it made him excited.
When you finished breakfast and got going with your day, you loaded up into Aaron's car and Jack talked the entire car ride about what animals he wanted to see and some facts Reid had told him about certain animals.
Walking hand in hand with Aaron at the zoo, taking pictures of your Hotchner boys, Aaron taking pictures of you and Jack, and listening to Jack point out all the animals he was talking about in the car.
As you stopped for lunch, you three sat on a blanket, you leaning into Aaron as Jack ate his PBJ.
"Dad! Y/n! Let me take a picture of you two."
Jack took Aaron's phone and began taking pictures of you two. Aaron caught you off guard, kissing you, making you laugh. Jack began to laugh, making Aaron then laugh. You loved your Hotchner boys and they loved you.
Aaron knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. You were his best friend, and even better, his girlfriend. He wanted you as his fiancé, his wife.
"Are you guys ever going to get married?"
You looked up at Aaron, waiting for his response.
"Someday I want to. What do you think?"
"I want to marry you, too."
Jack smiled and you kissed Aaron again. Jack doesn't remember much about Haley, and he only remembers his parents fighting, so to see his Dad happy now, it made him happy.
Jack said, "Uh oh."
Aaron and you immediately looked at him and said, "Jack, what's wrong."
"Hotch?"
You and Aaron visibly tensed up, you felt his grip on you tighten. You both knew that voice. You couldn't miss it.
You two turned around, only being met with Garcia.
"Oh my god! Y/n! Wait. You were kissing Y/n! Wait, Y/n, you were kissing Hotch! What is-"
She immediately ran over to hug you both. You couldn't help but laugh and hug her back, knowing Aaron's hugs couldn't out last Penelope's.
It wasn't long before you saw the rest of your team with Derek and his son and JJ's two boys.
"Why are you all at the zoo? Didn't you all have somewhere better to be?"
The team immediately threw down a blanket next to yours and you watched as Henry and Jack started talking and everyone just looked at you and Aaron.
Rossi said, "So, how long has this been going on? We knew you two were best friends, but this is something more than what best friends do. Especially the way you two were kissing."
You didn't care what Rossi was saying, you thought it was funny, but what was the best part was seeing Aaron's reaction. How your stoic, unit chief began to blush at the thought of getting caught. He was blushing like a school boy talking to his crush.
You put your hand on the back of Aaron's head and said, "Next week will be our 1 year anniversary."
Penelope spoke up just then, "Hotch is the reason why you wouldn't go on any dates!"
"Yes. You all really had no idea we were together?"
The team all collectively shook their heads and said, "No."
Aaron chuckled to himself and said, "Maybe we should have gotten married."
Rossi said, "I don't think that would have went over very well when we would have noticed the wedding bands on your fingers."
Everyone began to laugh and began to bombard you, Aaron, and Jack with questions. They still couldn't believe that they didn't know you two were a thing. They all suspected it would happen, but they suspected that 10 years ago, not now.
For the rest of the time at the zoo, you spent the time walking around with your team and this time, you can show your affection for Aaron, giving him quick kisses and holding his hand.
It turned out to be a really good day, and next week, when your 1 year anniversary rolled around, you were happy to see the team at dinner after you and Aaron had gotten engaged.
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stayconnecteed · 3 months
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❪⠀🪐. memories⠀𓏔⠀hwang hyunjin⠀❫
you were in love, until you weren't anymore. or maybe you still were, but chose to learn not to be just to heal from all that meant falling in love with him⠀★⠀2.7k words
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content: tbh idk what is this,, i don't even know how to categorize it, i felt kinda sad and started writing, and i thought on sharing it here. plot,, the point of view of hyunjin after your break up. i would say angst but at the end it kind of good. reader and hyunjin don't end up together tho. warnings,, think of this as a beautiful relationship that turned slightly toxic, hyunjin was very very whipped for reader, the format is like a letter to you he never sent. note,, i wrote this listening to hannah bahng's cover of memories by conan gray, one of my favourite audios in the world.
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─── Excerpts from Hwang Hyunjin's diary over a year after the break up.
September 6th
Yesterday I walked by that coffee shop you liked to go to so much, at the end of the street where you used to work, the one with the navy couches and old photographs hanging on the wall. It's now closed. On the notice taped to the door it says that it is for sale, that they were very sorry but they decided to go out of business because they could no longer afford the expense, to call the phone number listed there if you were interested in buying it. And I did. Call, I mean. I had that urge to buy it, because it reminded me of you, because I knew you would like it. I listened for two rings and then hung up. The couches were purple. I saw it, even though the glass was full of dust, and I don't know anymore if they had been navy from the beginning or you had convinced me of it, but at that moment I saw them purple, and the magic was gone again. I guess it doesn't matter now. It had been a while since I had been here, maybe they had to change them. To see if they could attract more customers, as you always joked with the owner. That's why you liked the place, right? It was quiet. Peaceful. You could barely hear the music in the background or the murmur of the street, and as much as you adored their coffee, we both knew it was doomed to have an end. Like us, I suppose. You were always drawn to lost causes.
That's why I called you. I think you had blocked my contact, but it didn't hurt to try. I thought about everything we had shared. On my way to the apartment I live in now I bought those noodles you liked so much, and the ice cream we had every time there was something to celebrate. The TV was playing one of those movies from the 2000s that we watched over and over again on Friday nights, even though we had already seen them, just because I loved that look on your face you had when you did something you were apssionate about. It seemed like a hoax. For a moment it seemed as if I could touch you, as if by reaching across the fabric of the couch you were going to be there, on the other end, waiting for me to finish dinner so you could snuggle up next to me. I guess it was one of those days, wasn't it? Those when you stop pretending that everything is okay, even though nothing was wrong, and let sadness win you over.
I don't actually think I'm sad, though. Not really. Just… nostalgic. I miss what we had. I miss you. Not in the unhealthy way I did in the beginning, when we decided to split up and I instantly regretted it. It's more of a warm, bittersweet memory that creeps up on me from time to time. Your smile, so beautiful and bright, how soft your hair was when you rested your head on my lap and I couldn't stop caressing it, how your hand felt against mine as we entwined them, the hurried way your heart pounded under my lips as I kissed your skin, how I felt your chest vibrate as I fell asleep on top you in the middle of a conversation… Now that I think about it, I think I've forgotten your voice. The temptation to search for old audios is too strong, but I'm afraid to find out what I would really feel if I get to hear you.
I have seen pictures. I have too many, so looking for them was not a big problem. I keep them on that hard drive you gave me when you got tired of watching me stress out because I thought I had lost flash drives that had never left my desk. In it is my favorite folder, the one with all the captured moments that reflected that side of you that you didn't let anyone else see. The ones I took of you when you didn't realize it, with your hair disheveled on our bed, your bare back contrasting with the sheets, still asleep; or playing with Kkami in the park, running next to her, with your scarf tangling in the wind and your smile brighter than ever. Those for which you did pose, with amused expressions and seductive glances, with our friends and in the intimacy of our home, those you approved of after I showed them to you, acknowledging with an embarrassed blush that you did look pretty, and also those you couldn't even see, your mind betraying you by making you see so many flaws that you thought you were drowning in them, so many defects I was unable to see.
It's the first time that the sight of you didn't make my heart tear apart. Each new file I opened was a memory that I could bring back to life, at least for a few minutes, moments that I treasured fondly, and that finally made me smile. Can you believe it? Me, who so many times left voice messages begging you to come back, who had to stay at home for weeks after breaking up because visualizing a life without you by my side made me want to die, the person who every time they saw something that reminded them of you would burst into tears, feeling the loss of your presence like the shadow of death, was finally enjoying those memories that included you.
You'll be happy to know that I'm starting to draw again too. I had thrown away all my art supplies when I moved, and I have all my paintings locked away, but the other day I stopped by the store I used to go to and bought a sketchbook. I didn't intend to do anything with it, I just wanted to run my hand over the pages again, just like I used to do before starting a new project. As soon as Felix found out, he bought me new watercolors and pencils. You know how he is, the first to cheer every time something good happens to you. He celebrates your victories as if they were his own. I guess that's what this is, isn't it? A victory. I've managed to win against the ghost of our past, and my reward is a nice charcoal sketch of a tulip. It's not my best work, but for the moment it works for me. Little by little, with training wheels.
November 24th
I would like to know how you are doing. Changbin hyung told me that you finally moved in, just like me. I guess every little corner of the apartment reminded you of me. I wouldn't have lasted long there either. You hardly talk to the rest of the guys, and it makes me wonder if you were really happy with me. When I met you you had your own group of friends, but you stopped talking to them to the point that all we knew were my friends, and each other. That was probably one of the reasons you encouraged me to break up. It wasn't healthy, was it? I find it pathetic that I realize it now, so many months later, although it was pathetic even then, with how desperately in love I was with you. I tend to get so lost in my feelings that I forget everything else. Sometimes, "everything else" is often more important than what's going on in my head, and in my heart, because in the end, thoughts are just thoughts. I wonder if Changbin hyung would tell me if you were having a hard time. You know that after what we went through together, I would come in an instant if you called me. Some things don't change. You can separate us, but you can't ignore what once existed. And I like to think you feel the same way.
I know you have a boyfriend. I've seen you around town, walking hand in hand, just like we used to do. I thought about waving, approaching you and introducing myself to the lucky man who can call you his, but cowardice gets the better of me. I don't want to make a fool of myself. You've always been sharp with words, and the last time we met was humiliating enough. I'm not talking about the last time we spoke, but when we met. That afternoon when Chan accompanied me to collect the boxes that were left in what had been our home, my name written in that chaotic handwriting you have, set aside in the entryway. We looked at each other in silence when you opened the door, and I never knew how I had the strength not to burst into tears. What I wanted most of all was to take refuge in your arms and for you to tell me that everything was going to be all right. Did you feel it? That pain? You always noticed it at first, it was almost unnatural the way my chest began to open with grief, as if my own heart was crying tears of blood.
You felt it too, I'm sure. That's why you looked away. That's why you didn't open your mouth except to wish me well. I remember thinking that it wasn't fair that it was going to end like this, that I didn't understand why it had to end at all. We were doing great. True, we argued, as all couples do, and not even that often, or that we were somewhat possessive of each other. But it was okay, wasn't it? It meant that I cared about you. That you loved me. That we would rather be with each other than with anyone else. But you looked away, and I shut my mouth, and I didn't have time to memorize you before I left. Even after calling you for days, when you finally picked up the phone and begged me to stop, even then I couldn't catch the exact tone of the words you had used to keep them in my memory forever. And now you're gone, and I'd like to think I don't care as much as I used to, but sometimes a person's absence is more present than the people you have sitting next to you. And it hurts more than the worst wound, because you crave something you can't have.
I guess we were destined to end up together and end up apart. It was impossible for us not to have fallen in love when you approached me in that library, with the book I was looking for in your hand, just as we were bound to untangle ourselves after a while, having to suffer through the process of accepting that everything we had built was falling apart. We both knew it, and came to accept it in the haze of those who have just found their soulmate, but only you were smart enough to see it coming and protect yourself, leaving me as the only victim. And worst of all, I know that had never been your intention, that you would never have hurt me on purpose. But I was doing it to you, and you decided to be selfish, pushing me away so you could move on. And after all I can't hate you, I can't even stop loving you, because you became so blended with my soul that removing you would be like taking away an essential part of what makes me being me.
That's my problem, isn't it? I live it all so intensely… It's exhausting. When someone loses the person they thought was going to be the one, they usually console themselves with the thought that they weren't the one. But I can't indulge myself, I don't deserve that consolation, because we were meant to be. Maybe not to last a lifetime, but for the little bit we got to share. I have had to say goodbye to you, to see you become a stranger, but the people we were when we were together are still alive, in some space of our memory, like a story written by both of us, one in which we each have our favorite chapters, and to which we know we can come back whenever we want, to remember each other. I know that at some point in my future I will be able to open that book and read any page and it will no longer hurt, that I will savor every word with a smile on my lips, the smile of someone who knows that while it lasted, I made the most of every single second. And I know that future is closer than far away.
January 15st
I have stopped counting the days since we broke up. I feel like I'm getting better, I know I am. Yesterday I went out with Seungmin and Jeongin for a walk, and I took my old camera with me, after so long. My hands no longer shake when I hold it. They started goofing around, and playing among the trees in the park with Kkami, and it didn't hurt me to say that was something you used to do. I told it as an offhand comment, as if I were telling them about what I had eaten the day before. Now you are just another memory in my mind, floating among the gray matter of moments in my life. You no longer hurt, you no longer harm.
On the way to the dance studio last week, the driver drove past that coffee shop. I don't know if you'll have time to go now that you're so busy with your new life, and anyway I guess coffee doesn't suit you as well as it used to, but someone bought it. And it's still a coffee shop. I went today morning, and I felt better than I have in a long time. The new owners have done an awesome job, and business is running smoothly. In the hour and a half I sat at one of the tables in the back, more customers came in than I've seen in all the years we've been together. The iced americano is delicious, and the atmosphere relaxes me enough to doodle in the margins of my lyrics notebook.
I feel attached to this place, somehow. You found us, and made us feel special. During the time we enjoyed your company, and your trust and love, we were fully happy. When you left us, we had a terrible time, letting our inner selves shut down, refusing affection or help. But now we are doing well. We've gotten over that rough patch, we try to look out for ourselves, we smile at life. And the couches are maroon. I asked the barista, who is one of the people who came up with the new design. I didn't want to find out what the original color had been, that will be something I'll never get to know, I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. It was fun when we would go and spend minutes arguing about the exact shade. But now they're maroon. And I like that color.
I was in love with you. I know you heard me say it that night I came home drunk, when I chose to pretend you were asleep and told you how you truly made me feel. I didn't fall in love with you, I ran to you knowing full well that I was going to love you with all my being, full of devotion and ready to end up devastated by you, but I guess it wasn't enough. Now that I have slowly learned to forget you I know that in all possible scenarios we would have ended up the same way. We were so obsessed with each other that we didn't realize we were consuming each other, but that's okay. Not everything is timeless, nothing lasts forever. The important thing is not to regret your memories, and I don't regret a single moment by your side.
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