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helliontherapscallion · 3 years

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(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Monday

Tuesday Wednesday Thursday (Part 1) Thursday (Part 2) Friday Saturday Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Pairing: SBI x sister!reader (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: swearing, toxic friends, panic spirals/attacks, injury, taking pills for pain

Summary: you have a very bad week, how will you manage? (Characters are fully human, but based on their DSMP characters. High school AU)

Word count: 4,818

(A/N): I’ve never played volleyball or watched Haikyuu before, so I’m not 100% certain how games work. Also, I probs should’ve split this into two parts, but eh.

“(Y/n) love, you look homeless in that sweater, it’s literally so fucking ugly.”

“Haha, yeah it is. I guess I just wasn’t really trying today.”

Adrian snorted, scanning your body with his cold eyes. “Today? You don’t try at all. You always look like trash.”

“More than trash, you always look like you just rolled in dog shit.” Sammy threw her head back and cackled at her own joke.

Your friends around you erupted in laughter as you four walked down the hallways of the hell that was your public high school. You awkwardly chuckled alongside them, you didn’t really find it funny, but you didn’t want to draw more attention towards yourself.

“Seriously, (y/n), I really don’t know why we still hang out around you anymore. You really let yourself go.”

“Yeah, now that I think about it, you did gain like five pounds in the past week.”

“Really not a good look on you, love. Then again, nothing you do can make you look good anymore.”

You tried to not let their comments get to you, you really did, but sometimes their comments just rooted themselves deep into your subconscious. You didn’t try looking good anymore, you couldn’t wear anything without them criticising it. You could never win.

“Awe,” Adrien poked your cheeks, “stop looking so sad. We’re just trying to give you advice. You really need it.”

“Yeah, (y/n). You’re so sensitive, get a grip.”

“Guys look, I think she’s gonna cry!”

You wiped at your welling eyes with the sleeves of your sweater. “I’m not. I just got allergies.”

Annie rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh. Anyways, what are our plans for Halloween? We should totally dress up like sexy angels! I think that’d be so cool. Like, Clint’s party won’t be ready for us.”

“Oh, about that Annie…”

“God, what now (y/n)?”

“I was actually planning on spending Halloween night taking Tommy and Tubbo trick-or-treating with my brothers and dad. I won’t be able to go with you guys, I’m sorry.”

The group groaned loudly. “C’mon (y/n), you never hang out with us anymore.”

“Oh my god (y/n) you still go trick-or-treating? We’re juniors.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy with my AP classes and studying for the SAT. My team captain’s really been pushing the team hard with volleyball practice. State finals are soon and we want first this year.”

“No matter how much studying you do, you’re gonna fail. You’re stupid, so why try? Just give up and hang out with uuussss.”

“Yeah (y/n),” Adrien looked at you suspiciously, “you’ve been ignoring us lately. I thought we were friends. Do you even wanna be friends anymore?”

You felt a flare of panic flare up in your gut. “I do! I-I just have so much going on right now. It’s starting to get hard to juggle everything.”

“We’re starting to think that you don’t like us anymore, we want our (y/n) back!” Sammy whined. The others agreed with her, making you feel guilty. You were ignoring them, it was selfish in your opinion. You supposed that you could skip out on taking Tommy and Tubbo trick-or-treating, there’ll be other years you could take them.

“I guess I can take Tommy and Tubbo another year. They’d just have to go without me this year.”

They cheered, giving you praise. You beamed at that, they seemed down lately and you loved it when they’d give you compliments. They didn’t do that much, so that made their praise more special to you. You strived to get compliments.

You four went off to your separate first classes for the day. Yours was statistics, a class you’ve been struggling in lately. You didn’t know anybody in there except for your oldest brother Techno, so you tried to stick with him. Unfortunately, the teacher’s seating chart placed you both on opposite ends of the room, probably because of your last names indicating that you’re siblings. You placed your stuff down on the table and plopped down into your seat, already drained. You had a long day ahead of you; you had a major AP world history test in your next class, you had to give a presentation in your AP english class that was worth a quarter of your final grade, and you had a semifinals volleyball match that would last until late in the night. If your team won, you would be going to state finals, so it was a lot of pressure on your shoulders. You were the main setter, so you had to really focus tonight if you were going to score your team points.

“Alright class, pull out your homework!”

Fuck, you had homework? You looked in your folder, only to see the unfinished sheet full of equations you didn’t understand staring back at you tauntingly. Mr. Mullins walked over to your desk, took one look at your blank homework, and just walked right past you. Another big fat zero in the gradebook for you, just what you needed. At least he wasn’t in the mood to berate you today. You didn’t need any more stress piled onto your shoulders.

The lesson felt like it dragged on forever with you frantically trying to copy down the notes on the board and trying to understand the content at the same time. Overtime, he would call students up to the board. Hopefully, he would skip over you today. “Ms. Minecraft.” Goddamn it, you spoke too soon.

Your head perked up and you looked at him. “Yes sir?”

“Come up to the board and solve this.”

Gulping, you felt panic rise up in you and stood up with shaky knees. On the board was part of the newer content he was just teaching. Something that you understood only a little bit better than the rest, and that’s not saying much. You still didn’t understand the content completely. Your writing was shaky as you wrote what you thought was right on the board. Finding the answer, you circled it and looked at Mr. Mullins. He looked disappointed.

“That’s wrong, Ms. Minecraft. Please sit down.”

You felt like your face was on fire as you saw the entire class burning holes into you with their eyes. Though they looked dead inside, as per usual with any morning class full of tired teenagers, their effects still took hold on you. You wanted to crawl into a dark hole and die. You sat back down and stared at your note packet, you couldn’t focus on the lecture anymore. Your attention was fully on your surroundings, you were hyper aware of every little whisper and bouncing leg in your peripheral vision. You could feel yourself spiraling, usually that wouldn’t happen until after your third class. Today was going to be rough.

The loud chime of the bell startled you out of your thoughts. You shakily put your papers back into your binder and put the binder back into your backpack. Right as you were about to walk through the door, you heard Techno catch up to you. “Hey, you good?”

“Yeah Tech, I’m just peachy.”

“Are you su-”

“Technoblade. I’m fine. Now if you excuse me, I have to get to my next class. I have an important presentation I’ve gotta prepare for.”

Without giving him any room to argue, you rushed off to your english class. You had Adrian and Annie in your class. For your presentation, you were paired up with people that you hardly knew. At least they did their part in the project, you were certain you were going to die if you got paired up with Adrian and Annie again. You loved them, but they never did any part of their portion of work. They left it to you to finish at midnight the day the project was due. To be fair, they both told you they had family emergencies, so you covered for them just that once.

You pulled out your flashcards only to have them knocked out of your hand when someone bumped into you. You quickly crouched to pick them up so you could have them in order by time class started. “Oops, sorry love.”

It was Annie. She and Adrian towered over your crouched form smirking at you. Looking back down to rearrange your cards, you murmured “it’s ok.”

“Are you ready for this presentation, I know I am.”

You smiled a little. “Actually, I think I’m going to ace this. English is my best subject.”

“Yeah (y/n), I wasn’t asking you. I was talking to Annie. Besides, you’re probably going to fail this.” Adrian scoffed.

“Thank you for asking, Adrian,” Annie shot a pointed look at you, “at least someone cares.”

The bell rang, signifying the start of your second block. You felt like you had a lump in your throat blocking your breathing. If Adrian, one of the smartest kids in your english class, said that you were going to fail, then you probably were going to fail. That would take a huge hit on your grade, this project was worth a quarter of your final grade after all. You were zoned out for the entirety of your classmate’s presentations putting yourself into a spiral. You jumped when Mr. Todd, your teacher, called your group up to present.

You stood stiffly in the middle of your two groupmates and clutched your flashcards with clammy hands. Luckily, your part of the presentation was not first. When it came to your part, you were stuttering and tumbling over your words. You even dropped your flashcards in front of everybody, causing half the class to snicker. Your face burned as you hurried to pick them up and your other groupmate took this as a signal to continue the presentation. You still had an important point to make that was integral for the set up to your other groupmate’s part of her presentation. You stared at your flashcards for the rest of the presentation.

When the bell rang, you made a mad dash out of the classroom. You didn’t want to talk to anybody, especially not Adrian or Annie. It was a relief that you had your lunch period at the moment. You could hide yourself in the bathroom nobody used and let your panic attack ride itself out.

You ducked inside a stall and sat on the toilet, bringing your knees up to bury your face in them. The tears and panic you were holding in all day let itself out with explosive effects. You started to hyperventilate as you muffled your sobs with your knee. Your chest painfully clenched so you couldn’t breathe. Your limbs felt like they weighed two tons each and they were shaking intensely. You didn’t hear the end of the lunch bell ring. By the time you calmed down slightly, you were five minutes late to AP world history.

You packed your stuff up in a hurry, power walking through the halls. You probably looked like shit, but you didn’t care, you had a class to get to and a test that you probably wouldn’t be able to finish now. You lost ten minutes of your test time. When you tried to open the closed door, you found that it was locked. You had to knock if you wanted to get in. You raised a shaking hand to knock, but the door was opened by a less-than-impressed Ms. Osborne. She ushered you to your desk and gave you your unit test.

You couldn’t focus. The multiple choice section was usually a breeze to you, but you couldn’t comprehend any of the questions. When you could comprehend them, you couldn’t concentrate on choosing an answer. You did your best to find the correct answers, but you were almost positive that at least half of them were wrong. Your handwriting was nearly incomprehensible and your essay topic was something you didn’t study for. When you were done with half of the body paragraphs, the bell rang and you had to turn in your unfinished test.

You had your independent online psychology course next in the library. You usually worked alone secluded in a corner deep inside the library where nobody went. You would get some solace in being alone. Maybe you’d calm down enough so that you could ride home with your brothers and not go for a long walk so you could avoid them.

You settled down in the comfortable chair and pulled out your laptop to get started. Psychology was your favorite class. It was easy for you to understand, it didn’t have much of a workload attached to it, and it was fun to learn about. It always calmed you down reading about the intricate workings of the brain.

By time the day was over, you got most of your psychology work done and you were on your way to the car you shared with Technoblade and Wilbur. You took out your spare keys and slumped against the window in the backseat. You were absolutely drained after your terrible day and you still felt panic swirling deep within you, waiting for the right moment to strike.

You stretched out your legs across the seat and leaned your back against the door. For the first time that day, you felt peaceful. You still had at least fifteen minutes to yourself until your brothers would start to make your way to the car. You felt the panic subside slightly and you fully relaxed. You closed your eyes and let yourself drift off into a light sleep. You needed your energy for tonight’s match.

The door you were leaning on swung open and you tumbled backwards smacking the back of your head against the metal frame of the car and reverse scorpioning onto the pavement. Your entire upper back and the back of your head exploded in pain and your lower back hurt slightly from having your back bent uncomfortably. You heard laughter above you as you felt tears of pain start to slip out of your eyes. Your legs swung out from their place above your face and landed on the ground with a painful thump.

You saw three blurry figures above you laughing at your pain. You reached up with a shaky hand to wipe at your tears and saw Adrian, Sammy, and Annie. They were cackling as you shakily stood up and sat on the comfortable seats of the car. You waited patiently for them to calm down.

Eventually, Sammy calmed down enough to explain what happened to you through chuckles. “I’m sorry (y/n), it was just too good to resist. You should’ve seen your face.”

She and the others broke back into uncontrolled laughter as they remembered your embarrassing fall. You were used to their antics, and quite frankly it felt good to make your friends laugh, even if it were at your own expense. Just as they were calming down once again, you saw Wilbur and Techno walk out the front doors of the school laughing at something the other said. Annie and Sammy heard their laughter and quickly turned around to watch them. They had massive crushes on both of your brothers, many in the school did.

Your brothers made their way to your shared car and stopped to look at you in slight confusion. “(Y/n), were you crying? What happened?” Wilbur asked worriedly.

“Yea-”

“Oh Wilbur, it was terrible, (y/n) fell out of the car. I don’t think she closed the door before she leaned on it.” Annie interrupted you with a faked concerned tone, a complete contradiction to her reaction before your brothers came.

Techno hastily made his way to the driver’s side door. “Well, if she’s hurt we better get going, right Wilbur?”

“Yes! We better get going, please excuse us.” He sat in the passenger seat and closed the door without hearing Sammy and Annie’s desperate attempts to stop them so they could talk to them. Your brothers thought Sammy and Annie were annoying. They absolutely hated being around them.

Waving apologetically at your friends, you pulled yourself into the car and closed the door. Annie and Sammy looked offended that you had let Wilbur and Techno get away from them. Avoiding their eyes, you looked down at your tightly clasped hands. They were shaking slightly.

After pulling out of the parking lot, Techno glanced at you from the rearview mirror. “You ok (y/n)?”

“Yeah, my back just hurts and I have a headache.”

“Well, do you wanna go and get some ice cream? We still have some time left before we have to pick up Tommy and Tubbo. Dad doesn’t have to know,” Wilbur asked you.

You sighed, you wanted nothing other than to take a nap before your match. “Sorry, but I need to watch what I eat today. We have semifinals tonight and I can’t have anything sugary. I just wanna go home and take a nap.”

Your brothers were quiet for the rest of the car ride until you reached your driveway. Techno twisted his body around in his seat to look at you after he put the car in park. “Did you actually fall out of the car?”

Shit, should you tell him the truth? If you did, they would almost certainly get mad at your friends. Sammy and Annie would never forgive you if you turned your brothers against them. You decided that you would take one for the team again. “Yeah, I wasn’t paying attention.”

Techno snorted. “Well, that was stupid,” he jokingly said. “Next time you’re gonna get run over by a parked car.”

You knew that he meant that as a joke, but it still stung. Stamping your emotions down, you laughed with him and Wilbur. It was stupid of you to do, you shouldn’t have let your guard down if you weren’t at home.

You winced as you slung your bag on your back and walked the best you could back into your house. Your upper back was killing you. You made a beeline to the bathroom and rummaged through the medicine cabinet looking for some pain relief pills. You took some and shambled off to your room to take your well earned nap. You set your alarm’s setting to its loudest volume and passed out.

You jolted up and gasped when you felt a wave of pain hit your upper back. You blearily looked at the time. You had a little under two hours before you had to get back to the school for your match. You groaned when you pulled yourself up, your head pounding with every turn. You pulled yourself out of bed and once again took some pain pills. You went downstairs to grab an apple or something to eat. Your dad was at the stove stirring something around in a pot.

He turned to look at you with an excited smile. “You ready for your match tonight? You’re gonna kill it!”

You only nodded halfheartedly and plopped yourself down at the table with your apple. Philza frowned at your lack of enthusiasm, but he figured that it was just because you just woke up from a nap. You’d bounce back eventually.

“Wilbur told me that you fell out of the car? How’d you do that?”

You shrugged, wincing slightly as it moved your back slightly. “Dunno, must’ve not closed the door.”

Philza was at your side in a hurry, his hands hovering over your shoulders. “Did you get hurt? Show me where it hurts.”

“My back and the back of my head.”

“Can I move your shirt so I could look?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

You felt him gently pull the neck of your t-shirt away from your body to peek at your back. You heard his breath hitch as he looked. Was it that bad? “Good god (y/n),” he breathed out.

“What, is it bad?”

“Don’t you feel how bad it is? Your entire back is bruised. I think there’s some blood too.”

“Damn.”

“First, language. Second, that’s all you have to say? Aren’t you in pain?”

“Yeah, but the pain pills are gonna kick in soon. I’ll be fine.”

“Would you be able to play tonight? I really think you should sit this one out.”

“No, I’m playing tonight Dad.”

“(Y/n),” oh no, he was using his stern dad voice. “It’s not a good idea to play tonight. You’re hurt, I’m sure they’ll understand if you sit this one out.”

You felt frustration rise up in you. “We’re in the semifinals. They need me, I’m the main setter. They’d lose without me playing.”

“(Y/n), I’m serious. You’re not playing today.”

“Dad, I am playing today. Look, I’ll talk to Coach Williams to see if I could be rotated out more often. I know she’d let me.”

He stared at you for a while before sighing. He knew there was no convincing you. “...Fine. But you better talk to Coach Williams about sitting out for a bit if your back hurts too much or I swear I’ll drag you off the court myself.”

You smiled a little at the small victory. “Thank you! I promise I’ll sit out if needed.”

He quirked an eyebrow at you. “If needed?”

You sighed, “when needed.”

He walked over to the pot, stirring the contents slightly. “That’s better. Dinner’s almost ready, I made some pasta.”

“It smells good, but I think I’m skipping out on it for today. I already ate this apple and if I eat any more I’ll probably hurl on the court.”

He made a displeased noise in the back of his throat, “fine, but you’re eating something when we get home tonight.”

He walked off to go get your brothers and Tubbo for dinner. You could hear their booming steps racing down the stairs towards the kitchen. They raced into the kitchen and almost crashed into the back of your chair. You stood up and looked at the two excitable fifth graders. “Careful boys, don’t want you getting hurt.”

“You’re no fun (y/n),” Tommy whined.

“Sure, sorry bout that,” Tubbo beamed at you.

You chuckled, making your way upstairs to get ready for your match. You took off your clothes with great difficulty and slipped on your jersey and your spandex shorts. They were way too short for your tastes, but you couldn’t wear longer ones, they’d just get in the way. You fondly remembered how your dad flipped out when he first saw you in them, he hated them with a burning passion. He still hates how short they are.

When you were struggling with pulling your hair back into a tight, sleek ponytail, the back of your head throbbed continuously with pain. You most likely bruised your scalp.

You slipped on your shoes that were made specifically for playing volleyball and headed downstairs. You were met with Tommy and Tubbo jumping in excitement seeing you in your uniform. They loved going to your matches, even if they would always pass out in the car after them because matches usually ended late at night. You grabbed your dad’s keys and headed to his car. Before you could lead the boys out the door, Philza’s voice stopped you.

“(Y/n), coat.”

You huffed, grabbing your coat and putting it on before tossing him his keys. You four got into the car and set out for the high school. The short drive was filled with Tommy and Tubbo asking you questions about volleyball and encouraging you. “(Y/n), you’re gonna kick their butts!”

“Yeah!” Tubbo cheered

Despite their voices causing a spike of pain to shoot throughout your head, you laughed at their enthusiasm. It was always nice to hear your little brother and pseudo brother in the stands cheering you on, they were your and your team’s personal cheerleaders.

Not long after you got to the school, you were stretching with your team on the gym’s floor. Your posse found their way into the stands, sitting in the front row. The away team watched your team like a hawk, analysing every single player for any weakness. It was because of them that you tried to not show any pain when you moved your back. You talked to Coach Williams before the team stretch and she was obviously sympathetic with your situation. She agreed to switching you out with the standby setter every few rotations.

The echo of the whistles caused pain to ring in your head every time someone scored or a foul was called. Your team captain, Haley, was constantly, yet discreetly checking on you throughout the game since she was always next to you. She was the team’s main spiker after all.

The game droned on and on before you realized that the opposing team was targeting you when they were offensive. They probably realized that you were injured a round ago. You tried your best to block every ball that was sent your way, but a few managed to slip past you when you couldn’t move fast enough. This team was good, but your team was better.

The score during the final round was tied and the clock was on it’s last ten seconds as the ball soared your way. You dove to hit it, landing on your shoulder on the hard floor and hitting it up high enough for Haley to spike the ball down. The crowd went wild as the ball bounced off from the opposite end of the court almost simultaneously with the screeching of the referee’s whistle, signifying the end of the game and your team’s victory.

You laid on the floor in pain, you thought you must’ve pulled your tender muscles in your back and shoulder. It hurt to move it. You felt one of your teammates grab your hand to yank you up into a giant full team group hug. You yelped slightly in pain as you felt arms press against your back and hands firmly patting your bruised shoulders. You were whisked away into the locker room to change into the pajamas you brought with you.

“(Y/n), are you alright? That was a pretty hard fall.” Haley’s soft voice asked you. You felt your heart sing in your chest.

“Yeah Hales, I’m fine. I just pulled a few muscles.”

Her perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed together, “are you sure? As your team captain and your friend, I’m worried about you.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. You felt warm knowing that she cared about you. “I’m sure, worrywart.”

She rolled her eyes playfully and breathed out a soft laugh. “Sorry for asking, grump.” Her laugh sounded like music to your ears.

Your phone vibrated in your pajama pocket, alerting you of your family waiting for you in the car and for you to hurry up. You sighed, “sorry Hales, I gotta go. Dad’s getting impatient.”

She gave you a small smile. “Oh, well, tell your family I said hi! Good work on the court today, I wouldn’t ask for a different setter.”

You felt your cheeks warm up and you watched with wide eyes as she left the locker room. Your phone vibrated again, your dad was really starting to get impatient.

You walked out of the school as fast as you could to find your dad’s car waiting for you up front. Jumping in and softly closing the passenger side door, you slumped against the window. “(Y/n),” Tommy’s tired voice slurred. “That. Was. Pog…”

You glanced back to see him and Tubbo snoring away in their seats. Your match was more exciting than usual, so that must’ve really tired them out. You chuckled, turning back around to lean against the window. You took care not to put any weight on your shoulder or back.

“(Y/n), you were amazing out there, but why did you dive for that ball? That fall looked like it hurt.”

You hummed tiredly, “thanks Dad. I just did what I thought would win us the game. We’re going to finals!” You quietly sang.

“Did you hurt your shoulder?”

“I actually don’t know, but I think I might’ve pulled a few muscles. Nothing too bad.”

“...I scheduled a doctor’s appointment for you tomorrow morning during your first and second blocks. I want you to get your back, shoulder, and head looked at. You looked miserable the entire match.”

You sighed, too tired to argue, “mmk.”

He chuckled before the car fell into a comfortable silence. The gentle bouncing of the car and the subtle hum of the engine was lulling you to sleep. Your eyelids were drooping by the time you pulled into your driveway.

You drug yourself out of the car and into the house, leaving Philza with the sleeping boys. You walked straight to your room and plopped down on your bed, passing out instantly for the second time that day.

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bbangsoonie · 3 years

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goal: your heart

member: sunwoo genre: fluff word count: 5,423 synopsis: due to a budget cut, you have to follow the soccer team around for both the school newspaper and yearbook despite knowing nothing about sports. before you know it, you find yourself warming up to the team’s star player, who you swore was the most annoying and arrogant person ever.

a/n: this is a part of the star player collab with @atbzkingdom for sunwoo’s birthday! (also, this will be written with the american academic calander in mind)

You knew exactly what you were doing. You were the top student of both your class and school and the leader of many clubs. Your college application was full of achievements and your essay exquisitely written. The only problem? You had no idea what to do after graduation. You didn’t know where you wanted to go or what you wanted to study.

Growing up, everyone told you that you’d eventually find something you love. By senior year, you thought you would at least have an idea by now.

But nope, you were even more lost if anything. Dream job? That was just a capitalistic lie meant to make people happy to slave away for money.

Grumbling, you listened as your friends rambled on about the campuses they visited. It was only the first day back and everyone was already obsessing over one thing and one thing only.

“Y/n, you’re so lucky,” Juyeon pouted. “You don’t have to worry about getting into a university. Your stats are literally perfect.”

“I have other things to stress over,” you groaned. “At least you know what you wanna pursue.”

“Y/n has other things to worry about. She’s about to graduate without ever finding love,” Younghoon teased.

“It’s all our fault,” Jaehyun squinted as he pinched his nose bridge. “We raised her standards too high. I’m sorry, Y/n, that I can’t take responsibility.”

The notebook in your hand threatened to fly over to his seat. Luckily for him, he was saved by Juyeon’s very unnatural attempt at changing the subject. He inquired about the school newspaper that was barely spared in a major budget cut last year.

Thinking about it made you sigh. You had poured in so much effort over the years for the paper and it was almost taken from you. The school was cutting funds for a lot of clubs and diverting the money to the many sports teams that brought home trophies.

A part of the negotiations to save the newspaper club was to feature more sports events and student athletes in order to garner support for the teams. You weren’t pleased with the decision. Your plate was already full without trying to inflate the ego of players who had a god superiority complex. Jaehyun was a great example of the type of jock you didn’t want to raise on a high pedestal.

You had also promised Kevin, the president of the yearbook committee, to help out with photographing games since you had to attend them anyway. Despite the many tasks assigned to you, you were relieved that you could spend your last year continuing to write articles.

“Does that mean you’ll get to come to practice with us? The basketball team is always on my ass about introducing them to you. Now I can finally stop being pestered to be the middleman,” Jaehyun grinned.

“No shot,” Younghoon shook his head. “My swim team has already tried but Y/n puts up a cold front.”

“Hey, I’m a delicately guarded rose with sharp thorns,” you joked, making Jaehyun pretend to gag. This time, the notebook hit his arm.

“No one is good enough for our Y/n,” Juyeon defended. You turned around to coo at him and said something about him being the only nice one as Younghoon guffawed.

The first day of soccer practice meant you had to stay behind after dismissal to meet the team. The coach introduced you to the players and beamed when he got to the last one.

“This is our ace, Sunwoo. Although I’m sure you know that already,” he said proudly.

To be honest, you had no idea who he was. The school was too big to know everyone and you had absolutely no interest in sports. You rarely even went to Juyeon and Jaehyun’s basketball games and Younghoon’s swim meets.

Not wanting to offend anyone, you simply smiled. Sunwoo, catching your hesitance, raised a brow. However, he kept quiet until he approached you during one of his breaks.

“Do you really not know me?” he asked as he took a seat next to you on the bleachers.

Surprised by his sudden question, you blankly stared at the boy in front of you. Sweat was dripping from his hair but he paid it no attention as he chugged an entire water bottle.

“How cocky are you?” you scoffed.

“You really don’t know our soccer team’s star player, Kim Sunwoo?” he gaped.

“Sorry to disappoint but I really don’t care or know much about soccer. Or any other sports for that matter,” you shrugged.

“You’re going to write about the soccer team… when you don’t even know who we are or what we’re doing?” he asked incredulously.

“That’s why I’m here to observe,” you snapped back.

Finding you amusing, he finally wiped away his sweat as the coach blew his whistle to gather the players again.

Sunwoo always gave it his best but for some reason he found himself practicing extra hard that day. Knowing your eyes were on him motivated him to show off his skills by annoying his teammates and stealing the spotlight. After his third goal in a row, he looked at you to see your reaction but was baffled to see you busy writing something down.

Frustrated and peeved, he kicked at the grass with a huff.

When practice came to an end, he snuck up behind you to see what you were so intently focused on. Reading the notes on your notebook, he hummed.

“So that’s what you were doing instead of watching me,” he mused.

You were listing physical traits and personality attributes of each player. He scanned the paper for his name and frowned when he saw what you wrote about him.

“Arrogant and conceited? That’s all you have to say about me?” he whined.

“What? It’s true,” you deadpanned.

“Haknyeon gets “tall, bubbly, and extroverted” but I get “arrogant and conceited”? That’s not fair. This is biased journalism!” he exclaimed.

Realizing that practice was over, you gathered your belongings and stood up to leave. With his cheeks puffed, he watched as you left the field. You were unlike any person he had ever encountered.

“Sunwoo? Kim Sunwoo?” Younghoon repeated with his eyes wide. “The soccer caption Kim Sunwoo?”

Jaehyun and Juyeon’s chopsticks froze midair in shock. Finding their reactions odd, you nodded as you took another bite of your lunch.

“I can’t believe the lady killer got rejected by the man hater,” Jaehyun broke out into a fit of laughter.

“Now that’s a title I’d like to see on the school newspaper,” Younghoon snickered.

“Okay, first of all, I did not reject him because he did not come on to me,” you rolled your eyes. “Secondly, who the hell is he anyway? Why do you all know him?”

“He’s notorious for his fuckboy image. Although I think that’s an exaggerated reputation,” Juyeon said you picked out all the vegetables from your plate. He willingly moved them to his own and you smiled gratefully in response.

“So my first impression of him was correct,” you said.

“He’s not that bad. He’s actually pretty cool. Rumors don’t do the sweet guy justice,” Juyeon explained.

“Our lovely Juyeon sees the good in everyone,” Younghoon gushed as he pet his friend, earning him a smack on the back of his head.

“We were partners for a history project,” Juyeon clarified. “I got to know him a bit and he’s a good guy. Just enjoys attention a little too much. Like Jaehyun.”

Weirdly offended, Jaehyun scowled. You shrugged it off, returning your attention back to your food. You had no intentions of getting to know Sunwoo anyway. At least, that was the plan until he bombarded you in the hallway while you were walking to class.

He blocked your path with that irritating smirk on his face. Exasperated, you asked him what he wanted.

“So I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday,” he started.

“Oh, so you do think?”

“Hey!”

“Do you think you can move and get out of my way?”

“Anyway, as the president of the newspaper club who’s in charge of covering the soccer team, I think you lack way too much information about the sport. And our school’s players.”

“How do you know I’m the president?”

“I asked around.”

You look at his eyes, trying to peer through any ulterior motives. He was being suspiciously generous. But he wasn’t entirely wrong. Even you thought it was ridiculous that a person who didn’t know a thing about soccer had to write articles about it.

You were also aware that any interviews with the athletes would be surface level stuff that all the students probably already knew. You were the only one out of the loop.

You pursed your lips, annoyed that he was right. Realizing that you were in agreeance, Sunwoo grinned.

“I am offering you the very special privilege to follow me around and learn everything there is to know about the team. For the paper of course,” he quickly added the last part after seeing the look on your face. “I can teach you about both soccer and my teammates.”

After pondering his proposal, you finally nodded.

“Deal,” you eyed his happy expression. “What do you want in return?”

He was taken aback by your question. He hadn’t expected you to assume that he would demand compensation. Your presence and attention were what he was after in the first place. However, he couldn’t let the opportunity pass by.

“Bubble tea,” he declared after some thought. “You can treat me to bubble tea after practice and I can tutor you then.”

“Fine,” you sighed before pushing him aside to make it to class before the bell rang. He was left behind with a stupid smile on his face.

The first tutoring session was extremely awkward for you. You weren’t used to hanging out with guys other than Juyeon, Younghoon, and Jaehyun. They were the only members of the male species you didn’t despise. This riled up Sunwoo’s competitive side. He was determined to get close to you.

He couldn’t stand having someone not like him. He was used to being on friendly terms with everyone—including teachers and even wallflowers. He had a strong desire to receive acknowledgement from everyone.

Perhaps that was why so many girls fell for him.

Nevertheless, the wall around you remained thick and high. Just as he was well known for his playboy persona, you were infamous for never letting guys in. You cold heartedly turned down any and every guy who asked you out. And there had been a lot.

Sunwoo, on the other hand, was excited to spend time with you. Bubble tea was just an excuse to meet you outside of school grounds.

His phone dinged, notifying him of a text. Haknyeon had sent him a screenshot of a post made on the school’s gossip page and wrote “this you?”. He snorted at the content speculating his relationship status after supposedly receiving another confession and rolled his eyes. Curious, you asked him what he was looking at.

“Ah, it’s nothing,” he shook his head as he put the device away. “Just the stupid tea account.”

“Oh you mean that anonymously run social media page that popped up over summer break?” you frowned.

You hated everything about it. It spread rumors, without fact-checking, and started drama. It resulted in both a breakup and the end of a friendship in the span of two months. It was exactly what you and the school newspaper stood against.

Nothing could be done to stop the false information and invasion of privacy because it wasn’t officially affiliated with the school and the students continued to feed into it. People even sent in stories to be posted.

“So tell me what you do know about soccer,” he leaned in and propped his chin on the palms of his hands.

“I know the very basics from catching glimpses of the World Cup,” you leaned back on your chair, making him pout.

“Well, to be honest, explaining the rules is a lot easier to do when directly pointing things out during a game. There’s a match airing tonight. Do you want to come over and watch it with me?” he asked expectantly.

“We can watch the replay tomorrow during study hall,” you said.

“Then we can start by talking about me today,” he chirped. “My squad number is 19 because 9 is usually worn by centre forwards but I wanted to be special and added a 1 in front of it. I’m the centre forward, which is the main striker. That means playing offensive is my main objective. Which is why I’m the highest scorer on the team.”

You wanted to wipe the smug look off his face. It irked you how he so easily bragged about himself.

“I also really like movies and can play the guitar. A true all-rounder and romanticist,” he smiled.

He continued to reveal fun facts about himself for another half an hour. It was only at the end that you realized most of it was useless when writing for the paper. You groaned, realizing you had fallen for his trap.

Still, you learned some things about soccer and his position in the team. Following him to the cafe hadn’t been a complete waste of your time.

The next day, Sunwoo hunted you down to make sure you kept your promise about watching the game together. He dragged you to the computer room during study hall and pulled out the earbuds he prepared. He had purposely rummaged through his drawers the night before to the share wired ones with you.

You had to admit he was extremely helpful when explaining the rules and strategies of soccer. Despite being uncomfortable with the proximity of his body to yours, he was a great teacher. He made everything sound so simple. After you began to understand the game, you even found yourself enjoying the match.

After spending a week with him, you hated that you couldn’t say you still disliked him. After all, you two met almost every day for hours.

You had a gut feeling that you would come to regret it and were proven right. You had a bad feeling the moment you saw Jaehyun run up to you as if his life depended on it. Panting, he barely pulled himself together to show you the post that made him immediately report to you.

“KSW and Y/INITIALS seen cozily spending time together. Will he be the one to finally break through her?” you read aloud.

A photo of your backs from the computer room and a mosaicked side shot of you two at the cafe were attached to the title. The comments under the post were even more ridiculous.

“A challenge to be anticipated.”

“Poor girl will only end up as one of his many heartbroken playthings.”

“I know who KSW is. Who’s Y/INITIALS??”

“The legendary man hater? With a guy?? Wow how good must he be 👀”

“Damn so she rejected me for him?”

Your blood boiled and you shoved the phone away. Trying to calm yourself down, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. And failed.

“What is this, fucking Dispatch?” you exploded. A few students passing by stared at your outburst and widened their eyes when they saw that it was you. You sighed, knowing that the whole school saw the post.

“I’m not a celebrity! Why are people so invested in fake rumors about me?” you yelled, trying to keep your voice to a whisper as you pulled Jaehyun into an empty classroom.

“I’m sure it’ll blow over,” he assured.

“If I ever find out who the admin of this page is, I will ruin them,” you glowered.

You almost didn’t go to the soccer practice that day. But you knew that avoiding him would only add fuel to the fire so you sucked it up and went to the field after school as usual. You heard the hushed murmurs that stirred among the team when you arrived and you wanted to turn back around and leave.

Before you could, however, Sunwoo appeared and shut everyone up with a warning glare. He announced that the coach would be late and to start by running laps.

You were more annoyed than upset about the post. It just stupefied you that people really had nothing better to do than gossip about you. You didn’t think you were that interesting.

You were so close to escaping after practice but Sunwoo caught you trying to sneak away. He stood in front of you, crossing his arms as if to ask where you were going. Giving up, you muttered a “fine” and waited for him to change out of his uniform.

This time, you two wordlessly agreed to go to a different cafe. With the bubble teas on the table in front of you, you sat in silence until Sunwoo finally spoke up.

“Don’t mind what the post or others say,” he huffed.

“I’m not too bothered by it,” you shrugged.

“Good. Because I want to get to know you as just Y/n and Sunwoo. Through whatever you wish to tell and show me. I feel like we’re always just talking about me.”

His words left you speechless. Juyeon hadn’t been kidding when he mentioned how thoughtful Sunwoo was. You felt your heart warm as you smiled.

“Well what do you want to know about me?” you asked.

“Anything. Everything.”

So you spilled about your interests, hobbies, and goals. It was strange. Although it hadn’t been long since you met him, you felt comfortable around him. He made you feel at ease and you didn’t think twice about opening up to him.

You told him about your struggles as a high achieving student. About the pressure you felt and how embarrassing it was to tell people that you didn’t have any dreams.

With your grades, all the teachers expected you to apply to medical school. On the other hand, your parents encouraged you to work towards a high paying and stable salary as a corporation employee. Your friends suggested that you go for something in journalism because of your passion and commitment to the school newspaper.

But the club was just something you did for fun. You didn’t know if you liked it enough to pursue it as a career.

Sunwoo listened attentively as you went on about your concerns. From the outside, you looked like you had your life together. You were the perfect student and the girl that many guys chased after. But as he spent more time with you, it became clear that you were very uncomfortable with boys.

“Can I ask how you got so close with the Bermuda line?” he asked.

“The Bermuda line? What’s that?”

“You’ve never heard of the term? Juyeon, Jaehyun, and Younghoon are called the Bermuda line because they’re the most popular athletes out of all the sports teams. The girls say that once you fall for them, you’re stuck in between them forever because you can’t get out.”

You hadn’t laughed that hard in so long. You knew they had fans but found it hilarious how the trio even had a nickname.

“Oh man, I can’t wait to make fun of them for this,” you laughed, nearly in tears.

When he told you that they actually took great pride in the title, you bursted out in laughter again. Their self love truly was on another level.

“So how’d you end up friends?” he asked again.

“Juyeon, I’ve known since middle school. We were in the same class for all three years. Jaehyun didn’t go to the same school as us but he was friends with Juyeon because they played basketball together. I met him and Younghoon at the end of freshman year. They kinda crash landed into my life but we really clicked so that’s why I still bless them with my friendship.”

Sunwoo giggled at your own overwhelming confidence. He loved that you never sold yourself short. He didn’t notice he had been staring at you until you pointed it out. Blushing, he insisted that it was nothing and took another sip of his bubble tea.

Two months passed by and you eventually came to call Sunwoo a friend. Younghoon teased you about him being more than a friend and at first, you thought he was crazy. But with him planting the idea in your head, you began to question your own feelings. Cursing Younghoon, you blamed him for confusing you.

As the designated photographer, you tagged along to the soccer team’s last match. The entire team was nervous as it would determine the winner of the tournament. Even Sunwoo was anxious.

Before the game started, you offered him a supportive smile and he felt all worries lifted off his shoulders. He erased all thoughts of winning and losing and just concentrated on the ball. He wanted to enjoy the last match of the season and look cool in front of you. That was all that mattered to him.

Fortunately, he got both plus the win. The crowd erupted into cheers as he scored the winning goal just seconds before the whistle was blown to signal the end of the game. His knees fell to the ground and his teammates rushed to surround him.

Seeing how happy he looked brought a smile to your lips. He jumped up and scanned the bleachers for your face. When he finally spotted you, he broke away from his team to run up to you and embrace you in a giant hug.

Caught off guard, you froze as his teammates hooted and applauded. You felt your cheeks heat up at the attention.

“Congratulations,” you chuckled, patting his back. “You did well.”

“Did you get a lot of pretty pictures of me?” he grinned, pulling away to look at you.

“No, I only took pictures of Haknyeon,” you joked. By now, he was used to your teasing and simply ruffled your hair in response.

“There’s gonna be an after party tonight,” he brought up carefully. “I’d really like it if you came. Only if you’re okay with that type of scene though.”

Surprised, you nodded before you fully thought it through.

That was how you ended up moping at Jaehyun’s house. The invitation was extended to the Bermuda line as well and they were all planning on dragging you there. Younghoon was excited at the thought of finally going to a party with the whole group and Juyeon was picking out an outfit for you from Jaehyun’s sister’s closet.

“I don’t know if I trust your fashion sense,” she made a face at the top he held up.

This was your first party and you weren’t sure how you felt about it. There was a reason you hadn’t gone to one throughout your high school years.

Nonetheless, you were dressed up in an outfit that definitely reflected Jaehyun’s sister’s style more than yours. She fawned over how pretty you were and urged you to go with the boys.

So you walked through the doors and into the house vibrating with music. Everyone who recognized you was shocked to see you there. Feeling awkward, you stuck by Jaehyun’s side as you maneuvered around the throng of people. When he finally caught sight of Sunwoo, he dipped and left you alone with him.

“Thanks for coming,” he shouted over the loud music.

“Thanks for inviting me,” you shouted back.

Sunwoo offered you a drink, which you declined. Following your choice, he opted for a soda instead as well. You weren’t much of a dancer so you enjoyed people watching instead. It was fascinating to see your classmates have so much fun.

You giggled when you saw Juyeon be so painfully oblivious to a girl’s advances and walked away to dance with Younghoon. Meanwhile, Jaehyun was having the time of his life flirting with girls. You blocked your eyesight when you saw him leaning in to kiss one of them.

“Ugh, gross,” you cringed. “I do not need to know this side of my best friend’s love life.”

Laughing, Sunwoo offered to take you outside for some fresh air and a change of scenery. You gladly agreed and let him guide you to the backyard.

The night sky was full of tranquility that contrasted the chaos that ensued indoors. You sat on the grass and Sunwoo joined next to you.

“You look beautiful today,” he commented.

“Only today?” you laughed.

“Especially today,” he answered in a serious manner. His sincerity made you clear your throat and look away. He stunned you by cupping your face with his hands.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Are you drunk?” you blinked.

“I haven’t had a single sip of alcohol.”

His voice was slow and raspy. Your heart was beating faster than you wanted it to and you knew the corners of your lips were betraying you.

“You can either lean in or pull away,” he said as he brought his lips closer to yours.

Your heart now felt like it was about to jump out of your chest. Red alarms were going off in your head and you didn’t know what to do. All you knew was what you were only a few centimeters away from kissing Sunwoo.

So you did what any insane person would do and closed the gap between your lips. You wanted to punch him when you felt him smirk but he pulled you closer and held onto you tightly.

The weekend passed without much changes in your relationship with Sunwoo. You were worried that you had either ruined your friendship or that he was sick of you but Juyeon reassured you that he probably wanted to talk about it in person. Anxiously, you overthought things until Monday finally arrived.

Wanting to keep yourself busy until you met Sunwoo, you stopped by the club room early in the morning to import the photos from the last game. Shortly after you connected the camera to the computer, you heard a knock on the door.

Startled, you looked at the door and saw Jacob sheepishly poking his head through the door. You told him to come in and he took a seat next to you.

“Kevin told me to drop by before class for an interview,” he said. You nearly facepalmed. You had completely forgotten about that. You were supposed to interview him for the paper.

“Oh yeah! Hold on, let me go get my notebook,” you searched through your backpack to find it.

The volleyball player was this month’s star of the month and you had to write a piece on his past achievements. He was extremely kind and was careful not to use any advanced sports terminology to make sure anyone could easily read the interview, which you were grateful for.

Before you parted, he gave you a side hug out of habit and apologized when he realized that it was only his first time meeting you. You laughed it off and insisted that now you could be friends since you two hugged already. Relieved that you weren’t disturbed, he happily waved goodbye to you as he walked away.

Being in a different class than Sunwoo meant that you had to wait until lunch period to see him. You honestly didn’t even know if you wanted to see him. You weren’t ready to face him yet.

When the bell finally rang and it was time for lunch, Juyeon forced you to go to the cafeteria instead of hiding out in an empty classroom. The moment you sat down with your tray, however, you felt all eyes on you. Your stomach dropped, knowing it couldn’t be good news.

“Y/n, is this true..?” Jaehyun asked, showing you the new post on the gossip page. You hated that you were always right about bad intuitions.

KSW and Y/INITIALS caught making out at last night’s party… is BJY a side hoe?

You had no idea when a photo was taken in the brief second you and Jacob hugged that morning. When you scrolled and saw the next part, your heart dropped.

A shocking revelation of history: Y/INITIALS and SYJ used to date in freshman year. Does this have anything to do with the swimmer and basketball players always next to her?

You felt your breath caught in your throat as you read through the comments.

“Isn’t BJY on the volleyball team and SYJ on the baseball team?”

“Wow she clearly has a type.”

“I guess athletes just hit it well 👀”

“And here I thought KSW was the hoe… who’s playing with who?”

“Aye so KSW finally managed to break through her. Thanks for my $10 bro.”

“Aren’t the basketball players LJY and LJH? And the swimmer KYH? The Bermuda line, right?? I always thought she had a thing with one of them.”

“So much for the icy Y/INITIALS. She was acting all pretentious when she was already having all her fun.”

Juyeon grabbed the phone out of your hands and glared at Jaehyun. You never thought your past relationship would ever get exposed. There were only a handful of people who knew about it and it had stayed hidden under the rug up until now. It was something you wanted to bury and never think about ever again.

Shakily, you got up and ran out of the cafeteria with Younghoon calling out after you. You ran as fast as you could. You didn’t stop until you busted through the doors and collapsed on the rooftop. Your lungs were on fire and you closed your eyes to stop the ringing in your ears.

Meanwhile, Sunwoo was running across the school to find you. When he didn’t see you in the club room, he changed his target and sought out Eric.

“Is it true?” he demanded when he finally saw his friend.

“I can’t believe people already figured out that it’s me,” Eric sighed.

“Is it true?” Sunwoo repeated.

“Yes, yes, it’s true,” he answered with his hands up in defeat. “She never wanted anyone to find out. We didn’t exactly end on good terms. It’s something I’m not proud of.”

“What happened?” he asked, trying to contain his anger. “What did you do to her?”

“I…” Eric trailed off. “I cheated on her.”

“What the hell, Eric?” Sunwoo yelled.

“I-I was stupid! And young. It’s the biggest mistake I made in my life,” he admitted.

Frustrated, Sunwoo left and ran off in search of you again. When you weren’t anywhere to be found, he checked the rooftop as a last resort. He didn’t expect to actually see you there.

“Y/n,” he breathed. You felt a lump form in your throat. It was the first time he had addressed you by your name.

“Get away from me,” you glared. “Was I nothing but a bet to you? Was I just a challenge for you to win?”

“Y/n, I never placed bets on you. I don’t know what other people have been betting on but I have always been genuine with you,” he affirmed.

You refused to let your tears fall. There was no way Kim Sunwoo was going to see you cry.

“I like you,” he confessed. “I like you a lot. I meant to say this that night but got too flustered. So I wanted to tell you today. Whenever I see you, the butterflies in my stomach won’t go away. When I don’t see you, I miss you like crazy. You inspire me to become a better person and all I want to do is hold you and call you mine.”

And now Kim Sunwoo has officially seen you cry. He bent down to wrap his arms around you as you sobbed into his shoulder.

“You’re an asshole,” you mumbled after you calmed down.

“I think you mean the opposite,” he chuckled. “Whatever barriers you put up to protect yourself, I’m going to take them down one by one. With you. Together.”

“Who said I’m helping?” you muttered.

“Then I guess I have to work twice as hard to prove myself,” he softly smiled.

“This is embarrassing,” you groaned.

“This will only be embarrassing for me if you reject me,” his hand reached out to the nape of his neck. “So what do you say? Will you go out with me?”

“I’ll think about it,” you huffed, prompting a chuckle from him.

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916 notes · View notes

rikumorimachisgirl · 4 years

Note

Iris, I like your Miya Twins hc! Please write more!

Hello, Anon! Thank you so much, I'm happy to hear you enjoyed the HC I made. I hope that you enjoy this one, too. I thought I'd write about how they met/fell in love with you. 💕

Title: Falling in love (with the Miya Twins)

Word count: 1,816

Genre: Fluff

Disclaimer: I don't own Haikyuu!! nor its characters, but the HC below is my idea.

You and Atsumu had been classmates since middle school, and you, fortunately (or unfortunately) always end up sitting next to each other at some point during the school year.

He knew that puberty wasn't kind to you - what with having bad breakouts, and excess pounds. He also knew that you had a thing for him back then - stealing glances when you thought he wasn't aware, sneaking into the gym a few days a week to watch him practice, and bringing extra pens for him because you knew he was bound to forget his own.

Since there were very limited choices of schools in your district, he knew you'd end up studying in Inarizaki, and he was open to the fact that you'd end up being classmates again. BUT - what he didn't know was that you were starting to bloom into a young lady and that you've shed some weight since he last saw you.

While he didn't exactly fall in love with you the moment he laid his eyes on 'High school you', he was enchanted - quite so that he often caught himself stealing glances at you and asking himself, "did she always have rosy cheeks" or "why hadn't I noticed how deep her dimples are", and he'd immediately look elsewhere when he knows you'd notice him watching.

Since you no longer seemed interested in following him around, nor did you seem to find the idea of watching volleyball practices remotely amusing, he thought he ought to let you know that he was even more amazing now than in middle school. He would talk louder when you were around (even if what he says doesn't make sense). "Samu, yer wonderful older brother is here to lend you a hand," he once called out to his younger twin when he knew that you spotted his twin in the hall with an armload of books. "Huh? Our parents have a child other than the two of us," the quieter twin gasped. "Shut yer trap and give me that!"

He started leaving notes in your locker, too. He'd try his hardest to copy Osamu's penmanship and write the lyrics of a song he heard that made him think of you, or a cheesy love quote he found in Kita's Literature textbook, or sometimes, he'd write something random like, 'your pen writes so smoothly', or 'oversized jackets don't look good on you', and 'your notes are the neatest I've ever borrowed'.

He knew you read the notes, but you just didn't give off the reaction he was hoping for… or any reaction for that matter (you were pretty hard to read, and it was driving him crazy. Lol!)

A day before the Volleyball Team left for the Nationals, he left another note on your locker that read, 'I like you and I want to get to know you better, but if you're not interested, it's cool. If only middle school me paid more attention to middle school you, then maybe High School us would've been a thing.'

He thinks about you when he's not busy with practice, and when he gets a wee bit anxious about their upcoming game (because believe me, he does get nervous about it), he thinks about the possibility of you showing up in his games and he gets all fired up.

He saw you cheering with your friends in the bleachers, during the championship match against Itachiyama. He knew he had to work harder because he wanted you to see how cool he was. He played his best - serving, setting, and blocking the ball perfectly every single time. Unfortunately, luck wasn't on their side, and they lost by a few points. No one in the team was more crushed about the outcome than he was, and he stayed in the locker room a little while longer after everyone had left.

"Miya-san!" You were the first person who greeted him as soon as he stepped out of the locker. His eyes widened and he didn't react for a few seconds because he couldn't believe you were standing in front of him. Clearing your throat, you gave him a shy smile and said, "you were amazing! I think you did even better than when we were in middle school."

He continued to stare at you, which made you even more nervous. "A-anyway, I wanted to say I thought you were the best player out there - win or lose. And… and.. If you ever need to borrow my notes, I could pass them on to you when you get back to school." You shifted your weight awkwardly from one foot to another, thinking you must've looked like an idiot in front of him because he was just staring at you like so. "That's all I wanted to say," you said awkwardly, "that, and I know it was you leaving the notes in my locker. I thought you should know that I also like you, and I want to get to know you, Miya-san."

"Atsumu," he finally said, cutting you off, and took a step closer. You felt something warm over your shoulders and suddenly, you were engulfed by his scent radiating from his jacket. "If you want to get to know me, you can start by calling me Atsumu."

"Atsumu," you smiled back, holding his jacket closer to you. "But I thought you said oversized jackets don't suit me."

"Yeah, but mine looks perfect on you," he shrugged before offering his arm out to you. "Well, shall we go get to know each other then? I don't know about you, but I feel so bad I could use some comforting and a nice big serving of Chūtoro." And with that began your love story, and the rest, as they say, was history.

Osamu and you go way back. The Miyas lived next door so you practically grew up with the twins.

Since you were the same age, you used to play with them when you were younger. Of the two boys, you got along with Osamu better and you shared a lot of secrets - including a secret hideout, secret handshake, and secret codes. He knew everything about you, including - much to his dismay - the huge crush you had on his twin.

You love playing board games with Osamu and would happily come to their house so you could beat his ass in a game of Monopoly, Scrabble, Risk, and Clue. You were usually so good at this, except when you spot an Atsumu sighting nearby and lose your composure. Osamu would tease you, of course, but little did you know how much he despised it - especially since his twin also thought you were cute. This carried on until you went to high school.

He completely lost it one weekend. When you and Aran came over to play Guesstures with him, Atsumu decided to join and insisted that the two of you team up. Osamu rolled his eyes, and hoped you'd pick up on his mood, but you were currently on cloud nine.

Thirty minutes, ten cards, and a dozen googly eyes (between you and Atsumu) later, Osamu declared he was done playing and stormed off. Clueless as ever, you looked at Atsumu and Aran to help you understand what was happening, and the two guys just shook their heads in silence.

You were sorely mistaken for thinking that he would be over his upset when Monday rolled in. He avoided you like the plague the moment you both set foot outside the gates of your houses. "Samu," you called and jogged up to him, but he didn't stop or slow down. "I'm in a hurry today, I'm on class duty," he said coolly, without sparing you a glance. And all you could do was watch your gray-haired best friend disappear into the distance.

He didn't bother waiting for you during breaks and lunchtime and talking to him after class was a lost cause due to his volleyball practice. You initially thought giving him space would help, but two weeks had passed, and you were desperately missing his company, so you sought the help of the only other person you could think of at the moment.

After stalking him for most of the day, Aran finally agreed to help. He called Osamu so that the two of you could talk, but your best friend was too stubborn to care. Little did you know that after you left, Atsumu and Aran confronted him for acting like a jerk.

"The hell was that about, Samu?" Atsumu called out, just as his twin was about to walk back to the court. "It's none of yer business, Tsumu," he replied nonchalantly. "Sure it is! You like her, don't you? Why don't you just tell her instead of treating her that way?" The older twin said, forcefully grabbing Osamu's arm. "Because she doesn't like me -," Osamu replied harshly. "Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that," Aran said, as he patted Osamu's shoulder and walked back to the court.

He tossed and turned in bed that evening, thinking of what Aran had said. Grabbing his phone, he went through all your messages from year's back, across all the different messaging channels - he went as far back as the time you confessed you liked Atsumu, and the entire year you only wanted to talk about his popular twin. And then he noticed how you stopped mentioning Atsumu at one point and started asking how his day went or if he's eaten. He saw the food pictures you'd sent from your trips with your family, and how you wished you could eat those with him someday.

And then it hit him - you wanted to be with HIM - not Atsumu."I'm such a fucking jerk!" He groaned.

He was waiting at your gate bright and early the next morning. He hadn't slept much nor thought about what to say to you, all he knew was that he had to see you. As he thought about what to say, he heard your front door open. "Samu-san?" He straightened up at the sound of your voice and saw you looking genuinely confused. "Y/N-chan, I… I…," he started to say as you hurriedly opened the gate to stand in front of him.

"I like you, Y/N-chan, and I was jealous of my idiot brother." Your eyes widened in surprise at his admission. "So, I'm sorry I acted like a jerk, but I hope you could -you know…," he trailed off, blushing furiously. "Did you want me to forgive you or go out with you? Because I could do both," you said, as you grabbed his hand and looked into his dark eyes. "You… you do?" The shocked look on his face made you chuckle, and you tiptoed to plant a kiss on your boyfriend's cheek.

The end.

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halictus-writer · 3 years

Text

Strangers on a Plane

Sirius swung his overnight bag up into the overhead compartment and climbed into his chair. He had the window seat, and despite being too tall for any seat on an airplane (who isn’t though, Sirius remarked), he was content. He could spend the next two hours reading or staring out into the sky in peace.

Increased noise from the front of the aisle told him that more passengers were boarding. Sirius began to play a seemingly-mandatory game of guessing which passenger would be his seatmate. No, no, nope, and then oh. The man he had noticed earlier, in the boarding area, with the tawny curls and the oversized jacket, was apparently on this flight.

The woman who had boarded before him had decided that now was an appropriate time to remove her sweater and stow it in her suitcase, and so the aisle was blocked. Sirius’s guessing game took an unscheduled intermission during the wait. He took another glance or two at the man. James had elbowed him in the ribs earlier for it, because he wasn’t paying attention to whatever his brother was saying at him. But now, with James seated several rows back, Sirius could stare all he wanted.

He certainly wasn’t Sirius’s usual type. Bookish, slightly awkward, the man looked like he would be more comfortable in a library or in the front of a history classroom than in a bar or a club. But looking at him now, Sirius wasn’t sure he had a usual type anymore. He couldn’t really remember any of his ex-flings anymore.

Eventually, the aisle cleared, and Sirius got to resume his guessing game. People walked past him, and then, suddenly, the man stopped. Their eyes met, and Sirius, very confidently and suave, of course, said “4A?”

The man looked down at his printed boarding pass, then up at the seat numbers briefly. “That’s me,” he confirmed, before swinging his long legs down into the chair beside Sirius.

“Cool,” Sirius said after a pause.

“Are you going to try to talk to me during this entire flight?” Bookish man asked.

“Nope, definitely not,” Sirius said, raising his eyebrows. So the bookish and slightly awkward professor man is a dick, too. That’s fine, Sirius thought. He isn’t even interested. It’s not like his left leg was still tingling from where his seatmate’s right had brushed against it briefly.

Determined to display his indifference, Sirius dug into his backpack for his book. He read it in silence, and it wasn’t until after the safety announcements had come and gone that he heard from his nemesis again.

“What are you reading?”

Sirius narrowed his eyes briefly, but couldn’t help the small smile on his face. If playing hard to get was a game, then he was winning. “Just a random, uh, book.” Okay, so maybe he’s still not on his game one hundred percent.

“Is it any good?” The seatmate asked.

Sirius blushed slightly. He didn’t really know how to answer that, seeing as he suddenly became aware that he was reading gay erotica on a plane next to an attractive man who he suddenly realized may be straight. If he hadn’t been charmed by Sirius’s natural good looks by now, then maybe he was of the more unfortunate persuasion, Sirius thought. “It’s fine?” Sirius answered loftily. “Bit of a guilty pleasure, to be honest.”

“Guilty?” He asked. And really, what’s with this guy, Sirius thought. First he was rude when Sirius talked to him, and now he won’t let him read in peace.

“Uh, yeah. Guilty because the writing is kind of bad. But I’m almost done with it, so. Yeah.” Sirius decided to go back to haughty. He actually was in the middle of a more interesting scene, so he was currently quite a bit invested, even if the writing wasn’t very high-brow.

“I’ll leave you to it, then.” The stranger replied curtly.

Eventually, a flight attendant came by, offering drinks and snacks. Rather absorbed in the book at this point, Sirius was actually rather grateful to find his seatmate tap his shoulder to get his attention. He never would have forgiven the man if he had let Sirius go without the free pretzels.

A little while later, a baby began to cry rather loudly, from somewhere behind them.

“God, who brings a baby on a plane,” the bookish man complained.

Sirius quirked his eyebrows at that, but didn’t play his cards. “Yeah, pretty inconsiderate. The parents should just drug the baby or something. They do it for dogs anyway.”

The stranger furrowed his brow, as if not agreeing completely with Sirius’s feigned cruelty.

In the resulting silence between the two of them, but the sustained volume from a (familiar) baby, Sirius finally finished his book. When he got to the inside of the back cover, he was shocked to see his seatmate’s face printed in black and white.

“Oh my god,” he said reflexively. “It’s you.” Sirius held up the book towards the other man’s face, and sure enough, it was him. The same haughty expression, and upon being presented with his own book close to his face, the man’s eyebrows knitted in the same way.

“Yeah.”

“You write gay erotica,” Sirius said plainly.

The man didn’t even blush. “It’s lowbrow writing, or so I’m told.”

At that, Sirius blushed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to insult your, um. Writing. I liked the ending?” he offered. The man shrugged.

Remus Lupin, Sirius read. “Is it a pen name?”

He didn’t really expect an answer, but surprisingly, the man turned back to him again. “No, actually. I was born with that ridiculous name.”

“Me too. Well, not that one, obviously. But also ridiculous. Sirius Black.”

“Nice to meet you,” Remus returned, still looking slightly peeved.

Just then, footsteps came from down the aisle. Suddenly, James was there, and stretched over Remus’s personal space unceremoniously to dump baby Harry in Sirius’s lap. “He wants you,” James said, then turned and walked away without waiting for a response.

Sirius laughed slightly, then focused his attention on Harry. He bounced the infant on his knee, and watched as his green eyes took in his new surroundings. He didn’t seem close to tears at the moment, but Sirius almost hoped he would make noise, just to annoy the standoffish author.

“I, uh. Sorry?” Remus stammered.

“For?” Sirius grinned.

“I didn’t realize that the baby was, um. Yours.”

Sirius shrugged, still looking at Harry. “I insulted your book, you insulted my brother’s choice of bringing his infant on a short plane trip. We’ll call it even.” He got a sudden mischievous thought. “But only if you autograph the book.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he prompted. “Hand it over.”

Sirius watched, surprised, as Remus scrawled an elegant signature across the title page.

“Where do you live?” Remus asked.

“London,” Sirius replied. “Same as you, according to your author bio.”

Remus returned to the book briefly, before stowing it away in Sirius’s backpack for him. With a baby in his arms, Sirius welcomed the extra help.

It wasn’t until after Harry screamed his head off during the landing, and after they left the plane, and after Sirius reconnected with James and Lily, and after Sirius said goodbye to the haughty and standoffish and cute Remus Lupin, and after Fleamont and Euphemia picked them up, and after a whole day of food and family time, that Sirius reopened the book. He was laying in bed, at the Potters’ house, thinking, and he opened the book to peak at the signature, just out of curiosity.

To his surprise, underneath the cursive, was a string of digits, and a note in block letters. When we’re both back in London.

#wolfstar #Short Writing #fanfic #meet ugly

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planesofduality · 3 years

Text

Full Transcript edition:

“The Story Behind Solas with Dragon Age Lead Writer Patrick Weekes” by Dialogue Wheel/Video Game Sophistry

Reblog of one of my first posts ever. I didn’t understand how tumblr worked back then really, and long story short, I split the transcript of this interview into 3 parts :) I’d probably do things differently now. Reblogging it as a single transcript for my own convenience, as I still refer to some of the things Weekes said here from time to time!

Interview is from before Trespasser DLC; posted to YouTube 12/20/2019

Note: pseudo-reblog

“Interview with lead writer for Dragon Age Patrick Weekes years ago about how the enigmatic character Solas was created, here is what that magic elf could have up his sleeve for us in Dragon Age 4.” Not my interview, just wrote transcript of questions and answers for reference.

Full video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFx1nCdZFjw&t=1s

Time: 2:54

Solas, tell us about little old Solas. Talking about your other characters you created we always start at the beginning. Pen to paper - How did the idea of Solas first start? What was that first iteration?

So actually Dave and Mike both, you know, we - everyone knew who Solas was - everyone knew what the ending was going to be with him. And, you know, Dave and Mike said, “Well Dave is writing a ton of the crit path, the main part of the game. Dave really wants to do Dorian, that’s very important to him, and are you comfortable writing this guy? Are you comfortable writing someone who is going to be, in some respects, deceiving the Inquisitor for the entirety of the game?” And, honestly, how do you turn that down?

Time: 4:02

So really it was that simple then - from there, in the way you described it, they already had some ideas and some concepts about what Solas needed to bring?

Oh, yeah. Originally, one of the most difficult parts of writing him - and, you know, I said Iron Bull was the one closest to how I originally planned him - Solas and Cole are probably tied for least like how I originally wrote them. And, really, it was getting past the secret. It was getting past Fen’Harel.

Iron Bull: badass former spy, the opposite of Sten.

Blackwall: awesome Grey Warden who is not actually a Grey Warden.

Solas: He’s Fen’Harel…

Okay, can he tell you he’s Fen’Harel? No.

Okay, well what are we going to talk about?

[Pretending to be Solas:] “Hey Inquisitor, I’m still not Fen’Harel, do you have any questions?”, “I will not take any questions about whether I am Fen’Harel.” That was the big stumbling block of writing him.

I remember the first draft… the first draft all we talked about was elves. It was elves all the time. Every conversation went “Elves, elves… Elves were awesome back in the old days.. Everything was great with the elves.” And then you’d go, “You really like elves huh?” “No, shut up - I’m not Fen’Harel.” And we all kind of looked at that and went, that’s not really much of a character hook. You cannot have a character hook built on something that you only reveal after the play has watched the credits. That is how we got to Fade expert. That is something where, if something had gone terribly wrong, if we were six months from shipped and we decided not to do anything with elves in the future, we could have taken the Dread Wolf out of the equation entirely and a mage named Solas who loves the Fade, is an apostate but without all of the fear and anger that you think of when you think of an apostate, but is just this guy who wants to travel through dreams and find mysteries and explore… that was a good enough character to stand by itself. That is what it took us a couple of drafts to get to.

Time: 7:04

You mentioned the first two phases of Solas - share with us a little more of that journey, when you finally go to this character that could stand on its own. If you don’t mind, a little more of that journey- was it just those first two and now everything’s cool?

First draft was “ ‘Elves, elves’ but ‘I don’t like elves’”. Second draft was about how much to tell. I think in the next draft it was significantly closer. Anyone who looked at that draft - and, you know, I apologize to anyone who looked at that draft - but, anyone who looked at that draft you would find places where “Oh okay that’s the Solas I know and love. There he is. He likes the Fade.” That’s something that’s actually interesting. But, he lied a lot more. And it actually really weakened his character. We played it so close with both Blackwall and Solas - both characters are the liars who don’t actually lie. They will tell you almost truths. With Blackwall - he never actually flat-out says “I am a Grey Warden.” If you ask him what it’s like being a Grey Warden he will say "Well a warden embodies this and a warden embodies that… I’ve been blessed in my travels.” You know, he never actually quite says “I’m a Warden.” With Solas it’s the same way with the hand wave of ‘in the Fade’. I would start putting ‘in the Fade’ at the end of a lot of sentences. “Yeah turns out that all of the stuff you thought was true in history was wrong… because I saw it…. in the Fade.”

In revision 2, he lied a lot more. On the one hand it worked, on the other hand it made him less tragic, more of jerk when we got to the reveal. So that is how we got to what we made him into: this character who is intelligent, wise… Solas will think very carefully before he tells you anything and anything he tells you is exactly as much as he wants you to know. That actually led to one of the funny little game moments - one of the last things we do is add the places where characters will approve or disapprove. I think what I want Solas to approve us is you actually asking questions . He’s kind of unique in that regard - What Solas approves us is people who are interested in finding out knowledge. Whether they are finding it out from him or they’re talking with other people, Solas wants people to explore, he wants people to find information, he wants people to learn. What he disapproves of, honestly, more than what you do, is in many ways how you do it. You can do the thing that he wants you to do, but if you do it in a knee-jerk way, Solas hates that. He wants to know that you are carefully considering your options and taking a measured approach.

Time: 12:16

When it comes the characterization of a character that you’ve already been give at least some sort of name to. We know that this character is some sort of trickster god - when you were trying to develop and make him some a stand-alone character, did you ever have to rely on what the mythos already established of this particular kind of eighth-seat god that maybe a lot people hadn’t heard a lot about?

Well, I think, like we talked about before, one of the great things about the Dragon Age universe is everything that you learn in a codex entry is something that someone else heard in a story and wrote it down somewhere and you’re reading half of the book. So the good news on that is anything we wanted to do with Fen’Harel, there was so little and what was in there was already so sketchy that we had all the freedom we needed to play with him.

That turned out to be a nice thing because I think if we had someone that was completely by-the-books, already established, their character already given, it would feel like more of a letdown to write that as a character or you would have to play against type, you’d have to do something completely different to show he wasn’t just what the stories wrote about him. And, you know, in some ways that is both liberating but also disappointing to people who might have liked the original stories. This was a fun experience of getting to fill in some of the gaps.

The only thing I think we had to struggle against is that anyone who hears “trickster” or anyone who hears “oh, he’s chaotic and unpredictable” it feels like there is a natural urge to go to “He’s Loki in the Avengers. He’s the guy who’s gonna make large grand-standing plans.” Or, you know, “He’s the Riddler, who’s gonna leave clues to test you.” We had to get away from that: “Let’s tone that back a little bit, let’s not have him be the Jack Nicholson Joker version of the Dread Wolf.”

That’s quite a quote.

You got Dorian as a large, grandiose , extravagant figure and it would have been easy to have him go that way. It was fortunate that we had Dorian as the mage who had the larger-than-life persona already to make Solas be the quiet one.

Time: 15:21

Was there ever an instance where you were really pushed with giving some indicators to the player that Solas may have some connection to this going through the gameplay? Because you do see a lot statues of Fen’Harel. There’s many instances of where you’re discussing it, you’re traveling through those lands. Where do you walk that line, how do you walk that line, or do you just completely disregard it whatsoever?

The goal we had is we wanted the very careful players, the very sensitive players, who were playing attention and watching every scene with Solas to know that something was up and to want more answers and then go to “OH MAN” as soon as the stinger after the credits rolled. But we wanted most players to just go “Oh, okay, he’s like ‘Fade nerd.’ He’s like ‘hippie guy.’”

The other thing we wanted was everyone on their second playthrough, as soon as they talked to Solas to be like “Oh, man, he’s just saying it. He just flat-out said it right there and I missed it completely the first time!” I think we called it the “inevitable in retrospect”- or the “slap the forehead on the second playthrough” style of writing, where we wanted people to see that the most interesting thing about the trickster god is he’s not actually that great of a liar - He is almost telling you a lot of the time. And, you know, some of the tragedy is it that you never had the chance to actually ask, “Wait -are you Fen’harel?”

Time: 17:13

We talked about leaving breadcrumbs, what that meant. Now the big turn, the big scene at the ending: How did this come about, were you really involved in that sort of process and are you happy with it?

Oh, I’m absolutely happy with it. It went through several iterations,. Mike was hugely involved. The writing was definitely done by Dave; it was a huge crit path moment. He had me give a look at the Solas voice, I think I looked at it, I don’t think I actually changed a single word in the final one.

We had versions where after the main plot it was actually going to be a full plot where you the player went and were actually present when Solas confronts Mythal. We had a part where we said, “Wow that’s too big, a lot of players are gonna miss that, we’ll make it a DLC.” So it was gonna be a separate DLC where that happened. At one point we said “No, this is too big, we actually - let’s cut it and address it next game.” So it was going to be this thing that we pushed off into some future content.

I am really happy with what we went with, because, I think, you know, for my money, that short, little Marvel-style, after-the-credits stinger is what we needed. We needed something so that everyone who was paying attention and everyone who was really invested could go “oh my god!” And go, “Okay, so, just in case you were wondering, we’re not done, we have more stories to tell, and we are confident enough in what we are doing that we are willing to throw that ball.” That stinger is essentially us throwing a football to future us, trusting that we are going to catch it. Because, you know, at the end, we had that level of confidence. We felt that we had that level of confidence, we felt we made a really good game. Dave led an amazing team of writers, and I’m really touched that he has the confidence to believe that I’ll be able to carry that on for him.

Time: 19:49

When we spoke to Dave, one of the big moments that he mentioned, was when he created kind of a long-term idea for what’s going to happen in the Dragon Age universe. And to hear him say it, he mentioned that what he originally wanted for Dragon Age: Inquisition couldn’t happen - it was far too big - it wouldn’t work. And you guys had talked about taking that concept, finishing Inquisition somewhere in the middle of that concept arc, and then using at least an influence or something like that to affect the franchise going forward. Speaking with you now, as someone who has taken up the reins, do you know what I’m talking about? Am I talking crazy? Where do you see it going?

Um…

Reasonably - of what you can say on this.

So here’s the last scene of the next game… (laughs). I think there’s an extent to which no plan really survives contact with the audience when it comes to video games. We look at how fans react, we look at what hit, what rang true with everyone. You know, it’s funny, having people react angrily actually isn’t as bad as having people ignore things sometimes. Having people react angrily means they were definitely emotionally engaged, so you know you hit something there. Whereas having fans go, “I don’t know, fine, I guess, whatever” and move on means, “Okay, I don’t know if that’s what we want to go back to. We didn’t actually get anything from them there, they didn’t actually remember that later.” So that’s a phase that comes after every game we ship. We look at what hit, what missed, and where we want to go from there.

Now that said, Dave’s future plan is, I think, fantastic, epic, and heartbreaking. Our plan is to use that as our starting point. To look at where we want to go, what we want to do, and it will not be - and I, you know, Dave and I have talked about this - it will not be the story that Dave would tell if he were still here as lead writer. Because it could never be that. We can get into that when we talk about Cole a little bit, but if I tried to do that I would just be doing a bad impersonation of Dave Gaider and no one is ever going to be as good at that as Dave is. My goal going forward is to, as lead, put my own spin on that process, put my own spin on the plots going forward, on the thematic elements, while keeping those same thematic elements that we had. Because, I think, what Dave has set in motion in three games, countless DLCs and expansions, is something that can endure: The idea that no choice is ever really that easy and that the great events always stem from human-understandable motivations.

So, that is where I think where we are going to go, as vaguely as I can say.

Time: 23:30

Speaking of specifically to Solas: His continuation of the story. Adding that little “Marvel moment” at the end - what do you think that did for the crit path and the overall arc of the story that players experienced in Dragon Age: Inquisition. Do you think they would have been more satisfied if there was a DLC or is that just us gamers complaining because we can’t get everything we want right away?

Well, I think you want to leave people wanting more. “Man I wish you guys had done more” is a better problem to have than “Man I wish you guys had done less.” So, I think, looking at it from inside the studio, we didn’t have the resources to do much more than we did. So it was never going to be the big moment right then anyway. From my perspective, the reason I’m really happy we have it is, like I said, I thought it was a vote of confidence. The team is still the Dragon Age team and it is still the writers and designers who did everything else, who made such wonderful characters and were responsible for such fantastic plots.

Time 25:10

Well, again, looking at that in its completion, it’s good to see that even a character that needed to give you a stinger in your estimation didn’t take away, I guess, from the overall story you were trying to tell.

Well, thank you. Yeah it was obviously the moment we were building toward, but again, the goal was even if we didn’t have that stringer, he was still an interesting enough character that people would have not felt cheated that he was in the party.

Time: 25:35

One of the most beautiful scenes I think in Dragon Age Inquisition is the scene that you get with Solas if you play as a female elf Inquisitor. Talk a little bit about that choice to have this romance option very, very specific. It’s race- and gender- specific. Why that scene - what that scene meant and a lot of the subtext, because it is a very rich sequence of scenes, not just one. And, I think it’s really one of the most interesting romances in the game.

I love that scene because that scene for me shows how far we’ve gone past - not the make myself irrelevant anymore - but how far we’ve gone with the digital acting. Jonathan Epp the cine-designer for that scene put it together and when you take everything that Gareth David Lloyd - the voice actor - everything he did on his lines. And just putting so much tragedy, and making it clear in every line that he wants to say more than he can. And with Jon Epp the cine-designer, just in the wordless scenes: showing the tragedy, showing the heartbreak, showing how much he does genuinely care against his better judgement, and how he finally forces himself to step away.,

You know how I said when we were talking about the Iron Bull - everything, every major moment we do, is there for a specific type of player fantasy fulfillment. And you know, not all types of fantasies are the happy ones. There’s a reason why The Phantom of the Opera was on Broadway for so many years and it’s not because it has a happy ending.

The Phantom of the Opera isn’t exactly the theme for the romance - the razor was something closer to almost professor and student in some ways. He definitely comes across as a mentor in some ways. When he finally steps back it is him beating himself up, not you, saying “Wow what I have done here is actually really unfair to you, and you, player, at the time don’t know that I’m beating myself up because I’m actually 1000s of years old and not the person you think I am and it’s disrespectful to you for me to continue this relationship.” So it’s a very moral perspective for our ancient, quasi-evil, trickster god to come with.

Time: 28:41

And it’s amazing because it’s another instance of content that so few players would actually get an opportunity to see. When it comes to making it that specific, I guess, why was that choice made? Because usually a lot of your content - most of the Dragon Age content - it’s very easy to get really rich, wonderful characters right in your face and have those wonderful “eat-em-up” experiences, why for this one was it such a steep price to get in?

You know, I won’t lie, a lot of it came from some of our designers. Some of the women in the design department really, really loving his voice and saying, “You are absolutely fools if you do not make him romance-able in some capacity.” And, really, his story overall is - and, you know, I think we’ve only hinted at that but I think we have hinted at it enough that I can at least say this part of it - his story isn’t a happy one. His story is one, where, if you look at him and Mythal, there is clearly some grief, there is clearly some tragedy. And, adding in the option - even for players who don’t take it - on my end as a writer, knowing that some players will have this as a star-crossed, forbidden romance, you know, it makes him more sympathetic. It’s important to me as a writer because when you’re writing about someone who, according to Flemeth, is at least somewhat responsible for the bad guy getting the magical item that he used to blow up half a mountain in the prologue, it’s important to have something in there that you can always have, as a writer, look at as your touchstone and go “This is a real person. This is someone who experiences sadness. This is someone who falls in love.” Even if he doesn’t do it with that Inquisitor on that playthrough, this is always someone who can be like that.

Time: 30:58

Where do you see a character like Solas ending up?

(Big sigh) Musical theater.

(laughs) Right when we reach those beautiful moments, Patrick!

I think that it is fantastic that people have emotionally engaged with Solas and I hope we get a chance to explore that in some future content.

Alright and that’s the most that we’re getting right now.

Time: 31:37

Oh, and here’s a little tie in: Here Lies the Abyss, the demon that spoke to Solas - what was all that about, what was that going on?

Oh yes - the demon who speaks perfect Elven!

Yes perfectly to him, and if you remember any of that - did you have anything to do with that?

Yes, Here Lies the Abyss was mine. It was a fun plot. It was a terrifyingly difficult plot, because - I’m not sure how clear this is to players that have one done one playthrough or with one import state - but your key characters throughout the events at Adamant Fortress and then the events of the Fade, it’s a customizable Hawke. Which means it could be a male Hawke or a female Hawke and within that, Hawke from Dragon Age 2 is characterized by one of three different attitudes: friendly, grim, or sarcastic. So, that’s three attitudes times two genders, that’s six different Hawkes and three different possible Grey Wardens: Alistair, Loghain, or Stroud. So, the process of going through Adamant Fortress and then going through the Fade was a crazy juggling act of trying to keep track of “Okay, now one of these five people, these five Schrodinger’s cat quantum people, will say this line, and then another of these five Schrodinger’s cat quantum people will respond with this line.”

It’s important to remember that as we went through everything in Adamant Fortress and the Fade was taking place in that contest. There was a long period time when we were looking at that really going, “Okay, I just have to hope this actually makes sense when it’s nothing but Alistair and my sarcastic female Hawke.”

But, to actually answer your question. As I recall, the Nightmare, who as a friendly, chipper guy was basically - I do basically two types of villains: I do the villain who thinks he or she is the hero, and is misguided and has opposed goals, and is kind of tragic and tortured in that way. And then I do the mean-girl villain who says snotty high school insults.

That’s it - that’s the gambit.

Well, just about, yes. I’m looking forward to see who writes the villain in the future Dragon Age games - so get ready for either tragic pathos or really, really good high school mean-girl zingers.

As I recall, he was speaking Elven to Solas and if I remember right, he said, “Your pride is responsible for everything that has gone wrong” and I think he said “You will die alone.” And then Solas said something that translates to either “Nothing is known for certain” or “Not necessarily.”

And what does all that mean?

Well I think it’s fascinating that people are emotionally engaged, and I hope we have the chance -

It was a very asked question - it was a question that was asked a lot. Specific to that.

Oh, I’m not surprised, and I hope one day that we can tell you. But, obviously, that demon knows that Solas is hurting and Solas feels guilty about some stuff and really wanted to dig in there, and Solas was shouting back.

Literally just describing what happened (laughs). All right, so something that will clearly be talked about in other games.

TIme: 36:22

Dealing with this particular quest I really think that this was one opportunity to involve the Grey Wardens in a story, and a world, that kind of progressingly, after the first game had less and less of a need to exist - let alone in the world - but in the main characters arc. Talking to David I remember initially there was some idea for this particular mission they would just fall into the hole and be hanging out in the Deep Roads, and having out with the dwarves, so tell us a little bit about this creation.

A lot of the process of writing these large plots, like I talked about the razor, you figure out what the core concept is, you always start with a lot of things, and in most cases what you then end up having to do is cut. And if you’re not someone in the studio, talking about having to cut things sounds like you’re losing awesome content, you’re ruining what would have been clearly the best part of the plot. Inside the studio though, most cases what you’re cutting is the stuff that didn’t actually help tell the story you wanted to tell.

So yes in the original version, in a very early draft, actually this was before I was actually on the plot - this predates me - there was, yes, going into the Deep Roads, and when you fell in instead of ending up in the Fade you ended up down in the dark. And finding out what the Grey Wardens in this version of the story had been involved with the Architect from Dragon Age: Awakening. It was an interesting direction, and it was, I think, a very cool direction, but it did not help tell the story of the Inquisition. It was more a story of “Hey, if we wanted to do more with the Hero of Fereldan, here is an interesting place we could go” and it did not help tell the story of “What is the Inquisition doing?” “What is Corypheus doing?”, “How do these two organizations bounce off each other and who’s caught in the middle?” So trying to come to terms with the Grey Wardens in this game not being the protagonists, not being the group that is in the center of the action but being the group that is caught in the middle of this power struggle was something that led to us having to eventually do the re-jiggering that got us to the plot you saw.

#i remember this took forever to transcribe lol #much respect to the people and computers who do this for a living #dragon age #patrick weekes #solas #reblog

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utterlyinevitable · 4 years

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I’m bored and you’re headcanons are honestly so quality omfg but anyways write a headcanon of ethan and MC having a high school, slow burn love/not love (angsty ✨✨✨ kinda like us with our muses 💀 I’m not sure if Ethan ends up coming out as gay at the end tho-honestly if he did I’m living for it) love you lots! 💖 your tumblr niece

AHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAH no no nope Ethan will not come out as gay 🤣 But I am going to take full on creative liberty with this and you’re just gonna have to deal 😘

Ethan and Becca Meet in High School

Ethan Ramsey was 26 years old and a TA for the school’s science department. He took the part time role on a year’s contract to help pay off some of his student loans before he started residency.

At 17 years old, Becca was a senior at a small-town high school.

Becca was an interesting student - very quiet but intelligent. She surrounded herself with the strangest group boys. Those boys were her lab bench mates, and were incredibly subpar.

More than once Ethan caught the three boys playing games on their laptops and scrolling their feeds instead of paying attention.

He watched her carry them all on her back through the course. And ask for nothing in return.

It made his blood boil - they were clearly taking advantage of their friend.

The next week Ethan persuaded Ms. Cook changed up the seating arrangements.

Ethan took great pleasure in marking the boys Cs instead of the B+ they were used to getting with Becca’s help.

Second Semester, AP Bio was kicking Becca’s ass. She needed help preparing to get the 5 she needed on the exam in order to rank Top 15 in her class before graduation.

So she attended Ms. Cook’s after school sessions.

It seemed half the class needed extra help, so they were split up into groups. Half with Cook and half with Ramsey. Becca was assigned to Ramsey.

As the days and weeks progressed, the after school group dwindled.

After a choose-your-partner lab that day, Becca ended up with the same group of useless individuals.

At study group that afternoon, Ethan confronted her about it: “I don’t know why you let them take credit for your work. Be proud of your accomplishments.” “Being proud gets you enemies.” “You’d rather have friends and compromise your integrity, than showing everyone what you’re capable of?”

That made her think.

“I’d rather come out of high school unscathed.” “You can’t make everyone love you. The sooner you learn that, the sooner you’ll come into your own.” “And who are you, Dr. Ramsey?” “Someone who took every opportunity I could. I advise you do the same.”

Over the next few weeks they got to know one another better. Ethan becoming her somewhat mentor and encouraging her to speak up more and assert herself.

She took all his words to heart.

He was proud and a little taken aback when she found a fallacy in one of their labs and called Ms. Cook out on it. It resulted in it being postponed to fix the errors.

Being a high school senior meant having to choose what college to go to.

She was getting acceptance letters left and right but she had absolutely no clue what she wanted to to with her life.

“Did you always want to be a doctor?” she asked one afternoon. “No. But it’s what I’m good at.” “How did you know it’s what you wanted to pursue?” “As much as I regret saying this, it felt like a calling.” “Hmph. Okay.” “You don’t agree with the notion?” “I don’t know what I want to do. I’ve applied to so many schools and different programs. How do I know which one’s right?”

They talked about what she’s passionate about and what makes her happiest and what careers she thinks she could pursue.

That got her to think. Think long and hard and over a few days.

She had a new outlook on life - she was on a new quest to find her eternal happiness.

May came around and she took her AP exam. She got a perfect score. _

Becca has eyes. She notices how attractive Dr. Ramsey is. Tbh everyone notices - he’s the thirst of the school district. Her girl friends even ask her about him multiple times a week. All she does is roll her eyes and say he’s too old for them.

Becca had been all but dating Bryce Lahela for the last year and a half.

They were friends.

Friends who kissed and touched and spent almost every Friday and Saturday night together with the gang.

It wasn’t a secret that Bryce was completely enamored by her.

He wanted her. Officially. And he was tried of waiting.

One day after school, Bryce was waiting outside Ms. Cook’s classroom for her.

He nodded at and dodged every student that passed him as he waited. She was the last one to leave.

“Hey,” he gave his megawatt smile. “Hey, what’re you doing here? Don’t you have practice?” “Ended early.”

They exchanged small talk and Bryce finally began to lay everything out in a young, round about way. He kissed her to butter her up.

“Be my girlfriend?” “What’s wrong with what we already have?” “C’mon, Becks,” he pulled her in closer by her beltloop. “No.” “No?” “What’s the point? We’re just going to break up before college.” “You don’t know that.”

She rattled off all her reasons why: they aren’t going to the same school, they’re young, she doesn’t want to resent him, she doesn’t want to fall in love with him just for it to end badly.

Bryce went to fight for her but was interrupted by the slam of a door. The two looked up and saw Dr. Ramsey and Ms. Cook locking up for the evening.

She pulled away from him and turned on her heels.

At the bus stop, Becca sat with her head in her hands.

Ethan came up next to her. “For what it’s worth, I think you made the right decision. You’re going to change immensely over the next few years.” “I know,” she grumbled into her palms. “It just hurts.” _

Becca went to Stony Brook and double majored in Chemistry and Biology.

She then attended Med School at UCLA.

Her second year, a familiar name stared back at her from her required internal medicine textbook: Dr. Ethan Ramsey.

Becca couldn’t help the smile as she remembered him. She’d almost forgot about the TA that impacted her life more than she could ever know.

Out of curiosity she consumed all his research. And when she finished everything, she found his direct email at Edenbrook.

She spent an entire weekend wondering if she should email him - Ask if he remembered her and that she followed his advice. She found her calling and it was helping people, just like him. She thought about throwing a joke in there but figured it had been too many years and it probably wouldn’t translate.

When residency came, she only had applied to Edenbrook.

And that’s when she emailed him.

She hadn’t gotten a response for months.

Actually, she didn’t hear anything until her decision letter came.

That same evening she found an email from him at the top of her inbox: Glad to see you’ve found your voice. We look forward to welcoming you to the team.

Ethan vaguely remembered Becca.

Honestly, he blocked the whole TA part of his life out.

Though, once he received her email, he personally vetted her application. And he was blown away. She wasn’t some naïve teenager.

Becca started working at Edenbrook and wanted nothing more than to learn from Ethan himself.

But he was different - jaded and cynical and not as approachable as she remembered.

He pushed her to reach her potential and she pushed his buttons.

They grew closer, especially with Naveen’s case. Basically the slow burn in canon happens.

These two get together, officially, once their jobs at the new Bloombrook Diagnostics Hospital were instated and they were definitely both staying in Boston for the foreseeable future. _

Becca didn’t particularly want to go to her 10-year high school reunion. She went because she was being recognized for her accomplishments with a few other alum.

She brought her boyfriend Ethan with her. “If I have to sit through this, so do you.” “I can honestly say I’ve never been to a reunion.” “Well, you’re my excuse to leave early. Gotta put the old man to bed,” she winked.

She was grateful for him playing along instead of taking another shift at work, and it would be nice to just be a couple for once. Without expectations hanging over them as the heads of their respective departments at work.

They had been in the ballroom for less than 15 minutes before they heard the loud whispers circulating.

Seems like Becca wasn’t the only one who remember the sexiest TA in all of high school history and of teenage dreams.

There were a bunch of intrusive questions being thrown at them and people coming up to them for the low down.

They tried not to be rude in their admonishments but the whole situation was awkward as fuck. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to bring him with her....

But there was no going back now.

And then Bryce sauntered over.

They hadn’t spoken to one another since senior prom when he took her best friend as a date and then hooked up with someone else at the after party.

“Rebecca, you look amazing,” he came in for a hug. “Thank you, Bryce.”

They had awkward catch ups at one side of the table as Ethan sat at the other end fending off questions from other girls and a select group of boys that remembered him.

Bryce and Becca talked about what they’ve been up to, how he’s now a surgeon and what brought him back home.

They lamented about how it’s strange they’re both in medicine and never spoke of that as a career path way back when.

In their long, flowing and unawkward conversation, they settled that it was best they went their separate ways.

They settled on the agreement that they didn’t think they’d end up at the schools they went to if they did date. They assumed love would reign and they’d choose to stay close by, and New York and California were not close by.

With all the long awaited closure finally out of the way, Bryce motioned towards Ethan; “So, you and that guy? How’d that happen?”

She knew what he was thinking and was quick to squash any rumors from starting.

“We work together. Didn’t mean for it to happen, it just kind of fell together.” “You look happy.” “I am.”

Bryce was bold in his next assumption. Knowing Becca as the girl who always spoke about never getting married and being a free bird as her main reasons for never committing to a boy, he wanted to catch her of guard: “Is it love?”

He wasn’t prepared for her answer.

“Yes.”

People change and are allowed to evolve. But it’s hard to imagine someone you once loved as anything other than who they were. And it’s even harder to see them in love with someone else.

#love you the mostest #open heart #open heart headcanons #hc #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #bryce lahela #asked #you weren't expecting this and i wasn't expecting to write this #what did i just write????#Anonymous #bryce x mc

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yikeswtfmate · 4 years

Text

Jenga

previous part // It’s All Fun and Games Series Masterlist // next part

main masterlist

Summary: The gang goes to Tony’s pool party. Y/N finds out that Bucky lost at Jenga.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: swearing; threats of violence

A/N: ok, i’m having so much fun with these that i don’t even care they became an entire series without me even realising it; plus, who cares i’ve already posted 4 parts in a week already????

ironic how i’m writing about a heatwave when we’re literally going through a huge storm rn tho....i miss summer so much 😭

Y/N loves Tony. What she loves most about Tony, however, is his pathological need to throw a party for the most insignificant of reasons. It is no wonder then that he’s now invited all of his closest friends to his penthouse, that has a casually built-in pool, to celebrate the first day of the heatwave that’s supposed to torment New York for the next week.

Making her way out to the patio, idly chatting with Maria about a book they’ve both read, Y/N notices how there’s now a huddle of people right outside the glass doors. She can hear Wanda’s shout of surprise, while Clint doubles over in laughter, Viz just puts a hand over his mouth in shock, but she can’t see anything because Thor and Steve are right in front of what they’re looking at. Tony leans back, enough so he can see Y/N from behind Nat, and wiping away at a corner of his eye under his sunglasses, he calls them over.

“What’s going on?” Maria asks as the others break rank to let them notice it’s Bucky they’ve been judging.

“Aw, babes, I was wondering when you’d get here. I thought Sam’s gotten you hostage or something.” Y/N goes to hug Bucky, but she stops in her tracks when she notices the cap on his head.

There’s complete silence, as every gaze is trained on her, watching her narrow her eyes, a frown deepening between her eyebrows. She senses something is wrong, but she’s too focused on what’s wrong with Bucky to comment on their silly behaviour. He’s completely still, his breathing coming out in short bursts, as if afraid to scare her if he’d make any loud noise or move too fast. He licks his lips while one of her hands slowly grabs his cap and yanks it off.

Her mouth falls open, unhinged from its socket and someone takes the cocktail glass from her hand before it slips from her fingers. The blood drains from Y/N’s face and with an animalistic growl in his direction, she turns around and storms back inside. A door slams somewhere inside the apartment, before Bucky can even shout after her.

“Aw, man, come on! I thought she was gonna lose it!” Sam shouts in disappointment, suddenly breaking the eerie silence.

“Well, it could’ve gone so much worse.” Nat says, taking a swig of her beer. “I was expecting broken glasses and maybe a concussion.”

“Shouldn’t someone go after her?” Pepper asks, tone laced with concern, still looking into the direction Y/N’s disappeared.

“No, don’t worry.” Bucky replies. “She’ll come back out to punch me after she’s processed it.”

He brushes a hand through his hair, trying to get used to the short strands himself. He guesses he could’ve handled it better, maybe given her a warning before she took off the cap, maybe even told her before he’d done it in the first place. But he lost at Jenga, and the rules were set by Sam, which he now realises in hindsight were stupid to begin with. There’s nothing to be done now, he thinks with a shrug. Besides, hair grows back, and if she really hates it that much, he’ll just wear a cap around her until it grows back.

Tony slaps him on the back, congratulating him for not looking like a ‘ratty hobo’ anymore, although he himself concedes that Y/N’s going to kill him eventually and with that, everyone disperses into different directions to entertain themselves and enjoy the sunshine and the pool. Steve’s the only one left next to him, arms crossed in front of his chest, water still dripping from his trunks, and yet he still looks like a disappointed parent. Bucky sighs and moves towards the bar, trying to ignore his best friend who just follows him determinedly.

“I just want to say that for all I appreciate you finally deciding to give that ridiculous bun up, do you really think it was the right choice to do it because you lost at Jenga?”

“Hey!” Sam shouts, right behind them. “Last time I lost I had to wear all my shirts inside out for a week. This is fair. A loser’s a loser and he agreed beforehand.”

“Man, these were so easy on them, give me a break.” Thor’s head pops over the counter of the bar. He hands them each a bottle of beer and as they all sit on the stools, he points his finger towards Steve in warning. “Y/N made me tattoo a smiley face on my butt when she was playing, so be grateful she wasn’t there last night.”

As the conversation falls into the typical subjects like jobs, holidays, and how they can annoy the girls next time, Bucky realises half an hour later that Y/N still hasn’t come out. Just then, Nat places a hand on his shoulder, shifting his attention from the debate on who would win in an arm wrestling match.

“She’s in the last guest room on the right. You better go and talk to her or I’ll rip your eyelashes out.”

Bucky nods, leaving them behind as Clint announces that none of the guys would win because Nat would just beat them all up with her eyes closed. He makes his way through the apartment that feels more like a mansion, until he finds the room, which surprisingly is open.

Y/N is laying on the floor, head turned toward the windows, probably watching the fluffy clouds. There’s no point in him questioning her choice of position, considering there’s a perfectly made, heavenly looking bed a few inches away from her, so Bucky just lies down next to her, right in her line of sight. They look at each other for a few minutes, neither saying a word, and Bucky interlaces their fingers together between them.

“What did I say?” She finally grumbles.

“You say a lot of shit, baby. You’ve gotta be more specific here.”

“Don’t be a smart mouth with me, you little asshole.” Her free hand pokes his ribs, hard enough to make him wince. “What did I say?”

“You said I’m not allowed to ever cut my hair.” He sighs.

“And what did you do?”

“I cut my hair.”

“Why?”

“Because I lost at Jenga.”

Y/N sits up a bit straighter, leaning on her elbow, a frown still on her face. “No. You cut your hair because you’re an asshole. You could’ve agreed to literally anything else.”

“Fine, babe. You’re right.” He concedes. “Now, can you stop being mad at me and come out? The pool is really nice and I can’t chicken fight without my best partner.”

“I’m still mad at you, Barnes!” She pouts, trying in vain to escape Bucky’s arms as they lean on the side of the bed, but he manages to grab her and tuck her under his chin, blocking her with his legs.

“I’ll grow it out again if you really hate it that much.” He whispers with a kiss to her temple.

She looks up at him, her hand yet again going to his hair and she tugs at the strands in her usual manner. The curls bounce back, and she smiles softly. “I don’t hate it. It’s just…that bun was so you. I guess I just have to get used to it.”

“Hey, at least I didn’t shave the beard as well.”

Y/N’s eyes nearly pop out of her head and she punches him in the shoulder, earning her a laugh. “Don’t you fucking dare. I will end you, Barnes.”

“Eh, you’d live.” He shrugs. “You’d love me even bald.”

“Debatable.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Do you really want me to cut your balls and you don’t know how to ask?”

“Why do you insist on being so violent with me?” He asks.

“Because I love you?” She offers with a shrug.

“That’s a good reason.” He concedes. “But it’s not the answer to everything.”

Y/N shrugs again and extracts herself out of Bucky’s arms. She stands up, offering him a hand. He throws an arm over her shoulders, and with their fingers interlaced, they make their way towards the pool again.

“How the fuck did you lose at Jenga anyway?” She pipes up, a flare of anger emerging again. “Didn’t I teach you everything you need to know?”

Bucky just stops in his tracks, and leaning to the side in order to look at her, he frowns. “You’re shit at Jenga. You literally won only once.”

“And it was enough to bestow the best sentence in history!” She declares.

“I don’t know about that. Thor seems to love the tattoo.”

“That fucker. I’m going to so beat him at chicken fighting now.” Y/N yells, nearly dragging Bucky behind her now.

“Ah shit, here we go again.”

***

Taglist:

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes

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jacaranda-bloom · 4 years

Photo

Monthly fic rec showcasing some of the fics I’ve read this month, and let me tell, you there have been a lot - partly because I’m reprioritising my reading again and partly because we are being inundated with an avalanche of amazing fics at the moment. So yeah, be prepared for a fairly sizeable list under the cut.

In this instalment, there are fics from @sunflowrsix @kiddleau @metal-eye @flamboyantommo @icanhazzalou @sadaveniren @crinkle-eyed-boo @lululawrence @beau-soleil-louis @homosociallyyours @kingsofeverything @crazyupsetter @laynefaire and @allwaswell16.

Thank you to all the writers for sharing their wonderful talent with us. Please don’t forget to leave kudos and a comment if you enjoy their work. 💜

💜 an entire desert in our hourglass by tofiveohfive

@sunflowrsix Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 19k

# Pre-apocalypse, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, post break-up, getting back together, anal sex, alcohol.

The world is ending. Harry comes over.

💜 bloodsport by tofiveohfive

@sunflowrsix

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 40k

# Friday Night Lights AU, angst, post break-up, getting back together, underage drinking, anal sex, American football.

“You know how our next game is against the Cardinals, right? You remember how vicious those guys can get. I wanted us to come up with some plays, maybe work on a block from the left—”

Louis stops when he hears a chuckle.

He doesn’t think he’s said anything particularly funny, so he turns to Harry, waiting for an explanation.

“‘S funny, ‘s all.” Harry throws his finished bottle somewhere near the other discarded ones. “This is the first time you’re talking to me in eight months, and it’s still about football.”

💜 Half A Million Strong by kiddle

@kiddleau Part 1 of the Woodstock Series

Harry/Louis | Mature | 51k

# Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Famous Harry, Non-Famous Louis, Historical, 1960′s, Woodstock, Coming of Age, Recreational Drug use.

Louis Tomlinson is a young writer for a relatively new-on-the-scene rock magazine called Rolling Stone. His assignment is to fly across the country to cover the highly anticipated Woodstock Music and Art Festival. Armed with a notebook, audio recorder, and a camera, Louis just needs one big interview.

Harry Styles. A new name in rock music and a future name in rock history. His first album sold tens of thousands and his interviews attract audiences across the country. He has the poetry of Jim Morrison and the stage presence of Mick Jagger. And after seeing him perform at the festival, Louis is willing to jump through hoops to put Harry on the cover of Rolling Stone.

💜 Gather No Moss by kiddle

@kiddleau Part 2 of the Woodstock Series

Harry/Louis | Mature | 50k

# Friends to Lovers, Famous Harry, Non-Famous Louis, Historical, 1960′s, Pining Tour bus, Coming of Age, Recreational Drug use.

Music journalist Louis Tomlinson will do just about anything to get a story he’s passionate about. Including spending a week on tour with the hard-to-manage rockstar-in-the-making Harry Styles. In the late 60s, every long-haired kid thinks they can make it in music, and Louis’ job is to figure out what exactly makes Harry so special. That is if he can get him to put down the bottles and guitars to answer a question truthfully.

💜 Caught By The Sun by metal_eye

@metal-eye Tumblr Fic Post Part 1 of the Caught By The Sun series

Harry/Louis | Mature | 19k

# Cabin AU, Summer Romance, Young Love, Skinny Dipping, First Time, Idiots In Love, Symbolic Thunderstorms, Bonfires.

He came every summer. It wasn’t even a question. Harry and his parents—one step, one real—picked up their lives, packed it into a car, and drove long enough to land at the ends of the earth.

The cabin had been in his family for a hundred years. There was no TV, no phone, no computer, no radio. There were decks of cards and plastic deer and marbles. There were skis and leaves and a treehouse.

And then there was Louis.

Or, Harry and Louis meet every summer at the lake.

💜 Somewhere Where You’re There by metal_eye

@metal-eye Part 2 of the Caught By The Sun series

Harry/Louis | Mature | 4k

# Cabin AU, Timestamp, Nostalgia, Blow Jobs, Boat Sex, Lake Sex.

The greatest luxury, in this new part of their lives, should have been time. It stretched at varied intervals with no attention to what the real world might find convenient. Hours yawned like horses’ mouths, stretching backwards in the effort of seconds. Except that Harry couldn’t help feeling like he’d missed out, somehow. That he needed to hurry. They’d been denied their formative horny years. Something had to give.

A Caught by the Sun timestamp in which they are both lazy and horny, and some things get resolved.

💜 Members Only by kikikryslee

@flamboyantommo Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Mature | 14k

# Gyms, Boxing, Awkward Flirting, Mutual Pining. Locker Room, Semi-Public Sex, Smut.

“Well, I’m gonna go work out now, so…” Harry said, his voice trailing off. Louis nodded. “Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Go get, uh, you know, strong and buff.” What? Louis wanted to die. “Um, thanks?” Harry said. “Um…” Without another word, Harry walked away from the desk. Louis pinched his thigh – hard – hoping that was some terrible, awkward nightmare that he might soon wake up from. Or, the one where Louis works at Harry's new gym and neither one of them knows how to hold a coherent conversation with the other.

💜 I’d Still Dance With You by kikikryslee

@flamboyantommo Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Mature | 57k

# Age Difference, Louis is 28, Harry is 21, Mutual Pining, Angst, Student Harry, Ad Exec Louis, Slow Burn, Smut, Bottom Harry, Top Louis.

💜 Naked and Proud by kiwikero

@icanhazzalou Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 19k

# Farmer Harry, Songwriter Louis, Small Town, Organic Food, Summer Romance, Lust At First Sight, Pining, Smut.

The town itself is tiny, as evidenced by the ten minutes it’s taken Louis to drive the entire thing. There’s not a single recognisable brand in sight—no Tesco or McDonald’s or even a bloody Starbucks. Lining the streets instead are mom and pop stores with names like ‘Jerry’s Burgers’ and ‘The Market Basket’ and…

“'Naked & Proud?'” Louis almost slams on the brakes at the outlandish sign, the name written in a seemingly innocent font, words curved around a large cartoon peach. He can’t help turning into the carpark, easing the car into a spot next to a beat up truck.

He isn’t sure what to make of it. Surely it isn’t a strip joint or sex shop, not with the families and little old ladies going in and out of the establishment. Some kind of nudist hangout, perhaps?

And, oh, God. Did Louis’ mother accidentally send him to live in a nudist colony?

In which Harry runs an organic store, not a nudist colony, and Louis doesn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

💜 Paint The Sky With Stars by kiwikero

@icanhazzalou Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Mature | 63k

# Titanic AU, Strangers to Lovers, Happy Ending.

On 10 April 1912, Harry Styles boards the finest ship the world has ever seen. Still grieving the death of their mother, he and his sister are being sent to America to live with a callous uncle who cares more about his business connections than family. Harry prepares himself for a long, disappointing voyage alone in his stateroom.

Louis Tomlinson has borrowed and saved, and finally has enough to purchase a Third Class ticket to America. With all of his belongings in a single ruck sack, he boards the Titanic filled with hope for a brighter future. Never one to sit still, he can’t resist exploring the massive ship, and soon goes sneaking into First Class in a stolen steward’s uniform.

By a twist of fate, Louis finds himself in Harry’s stateroom, entranced by the most attractive man he’s ever laid eyes on. He keeps returning day after day, even if he doesn’t understand what it is about Harry that continues pulling him in. That’s all right; Louis has a week to figure it out, and Harry is plenty willing to help.

Except they don’t have a week. They have four days. Because on 15 April, their entire world will be turned upside down.

Or, the historically accurate Titanic AU with a happy ending.

💜 Just For Tonight (I can be yours) by SadaVeniren

@sadaveniren Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 43k

# ABO, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Prince Harry Styles, Secret Relationship, Arranged Marriage, Mpreg Harry, Smut.

Harry, prince of Cestrescir, has been betrothed to Ludvic, prince of Yorvik, since birth. He'd accepted a loveless marriage as his duty to his country, until an accident threw him in the path of a gentle alpha.

💜 Live A Thousand Lifetimes by Layne Faire (HisDarlin)

@laynefaire Tumblr Fic Post

Liam/Zayn | Explicit | 58k

# Exes to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Farm Setting, Vineyard, B&B, Horses, Smut, (check full tags).

It’s 2025.

After secretly writing and producing their first album in ten years, One Direction is weeks away from releasing their first new single and announcing a world tour.

With the whirlwind about to begin again, Liam re-evaluates the last ten years - the fame, the money, the people who changed his life forever - and the person who walked away.

💜 Mine Would Be You by crinkle-eyed-boo

@crinkle-eyed-boo Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 115k

# Exes to Lovers, Artist Harry, Writer Louis, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Jumps, Smut.

Louis blinks his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as the room swims around him. He takes several gulps of beer once he confirms that he’s definitely not hallucinating, that the very first portrait Harry Styles ever painted of him is hanging on that wall.

Louis stares at the wall, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he realizes that there’s not just one painting of him, there’s five, the portraits lined up like they’re some sort of storyboard depicting the rise and fall of his deepest love. His greatest heartache. A pain that cut him so deep that he left the fucking country, severing all ties with his life in New York, now suddenly surrounding him as if he’d never left.

Fucking shit motherfucker fuck.

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

💜 Own The Scars by crinkle-eyed-boo

@crinkle-eyed-boo Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 115k

# Friends to Lovers, Drug Addiction, Coma, Rehab, Intervention, Recovery, Therapy, Tomlinshaw (Larry Endgame), Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, (check full tags).

“But I don’t belong here,” Louis insists. “Why do you say that?” James asks. “These people are all drug addicts and alcoholics,” Louis shrugs. Something sparks in James’ eyes. “And you’re not?”

Louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friend, for the life he's supposed to want. After an accident that nearly costs him his life, Louis' parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to face his demons. On the long and difficult road to recovery, Louis must confront the truths he’s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. Because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

💜 Fiction Romance by orphan account

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 18k

# Strangers to Lovers, Blind Date, Punk Louis, Student Harry, Smut.

Harry has a type.

He likes older, sophisticated, mature men. Well-educated men. Men with life experience and passion for arts and social causes. Men who are established in their careers, who've sorted their lives out.

Niall knows this.

And so Harry can't understand why he's sat here opposite Louis Tomlinson.

💜 If Only We Wish Hard Enough by lululawrence

@lululawrence Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Not Rated | 5k

# Peter Pan Fusion, Louis is Peter, Harry is Tinkerbelle (except he’s the same size as Louis), Friends to Lovers (no smut), Flirting, Pining, Fluff.

Before Harry let Louis know he was there, he gave himself a moment to just admire him. Truly take him in.

Today, Louis was wearing one of his soft, simple green dresses that in many ways resembled the ones fairies often wore. Harry loved when Louis wore dresses. They showed off Louis’ waist and thighs more than any of his other outfits, and Harry loved that about them.

“You know I can hear your wings fluttering so you aren’t fooling anyone,” Louis said before turning and looking over his shoulder.

Or the five times fic where Louis is Peter Pan, Harry is his best friend Tinkerbelle, and it takes them awhile but they figure things out.

💜 I Can’t Do This Alone (Sometimes I just need a light) by Only_angel_28

@beau-soleil-louis Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Not Rated | 8k

# Strangers to Lovers (no smut), Meet Cute, Doctor Harry, Tattoo Artist Louis, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Loneliness, Touch-Starved Harry, Flirting, Fluff, Hopeful Ending, (check full tags).

“Harry,” he says after another contemplative moment, “can I hug you?”

It’s been...well, Harry doesn’t actually know how long it’s been. Less than an hour, probably, but already Louis says his name like it’s safe in his mouth, and now he’s opening his arms like Harry could be safe there too.

“Please,” Harry nearly sobs, and sinks into him the way butter melts on toast. It’s an apt metaphor, really, because what Louis is giving him is as essential and sustaining as a loaf of bread to a starving man. His basic need for physical affection is as vital as his need for sustenance, for sleep, and he can’t believe he’s allowed himself to ignore it for so long.

Or: Harry is having a rough time. Louis is the kind stranger who makes him smile again.

💜 You Make Lovin’ Fun by homosociallyyours

@homosociallyyours Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 110k

# Girl Direction, Strangers to Lovers, Polyamory, Cruise Ships, Silver Fox Louis, Daddy Kink, Age Difference, Smut.

Harry is a 28 year old travel writer at a gay magazine who gets the assignment to go a lesbian cruise. She figures it's a nice chance to have some fun in the sun, but she's not expecting much else-- even if her partner and best friend are both encouraging her to hook up with someone while she's there.

When she locks eyes with a gorgeous silver fox from across the room, she starts to think she could've been wrong. There are lots of things standing in the way of anything real happening with her and Louis, but that doesn't stop them from falling for one another. True love isn't always easy, but they do make lovin' fun.

💜 As Deep As The Sky by swallowsmateforlife

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 12k

# ABO, Strangers to Lovers, Alpha Harry, Omega Louis, Smut.

A passed-out omega on the bathroom floor isn't exactly what Harry had in mind when he thought about taking a cute boy home. The idea of leaving Louis there, vulnerable and unresponsive, weighs guiltily at Harry's conscience. Turns out it's the best decision he'll ever make.

💜 Someone To Fly Home To by kingsofeverything

@kingsofeverything Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 35k

# Exes to Lovers, Divorce, Older Harry/Louis (in their 50s), Pilot Louis, Teacher Harry, Smut.

Louis. 55 year old pilot who wants someone to fly home to. Harry swipes right.

💜 Ghost Note Symphony by whoknows

@crazyupsetter

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 96k

# Proximity Curse, Blood and Gore, Supernatural Elements, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Smut, (check full tags).

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago.

It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to.

That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

💜 Soaked In The Blood Of Angels by whoknows

@crazyupsetter

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 41k

# Creatures AU, Vampires, Incubus, Dubious Consent, Blood and Violence, Smut, (check full tags).

The boy looks drugged, caught between a man who’s almost twice his size and a girl who looks like she wouldn’t even break a sweat snapping him in half despite her small stature, eyes closed and mouth open as he pants, arching up between them almost as if he’s trying to escape.

Normally, Harry would ignore it and continue on his search for someone to drink from, someone who wouldn’t mind his sharp teeth and rough hands. He’s seen plenty of boys like this one, ones who picked the wrong playmates, and if he stopped to rescue every single one of them he would have died from thirst a long time ago.

This one, though. There’s something about this one, the sheen of his bright blue eyes as he blinks slowly, looks around as though he doesn’t know where he is, the weakness of his hands as he tries to push the girl off of him and make his escape.

💜 Say Something by kingsofeverything

@kingsofeverything Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 105k

# ABO, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Age Difference, 50 Year Old Harry, 28 Year Old Louis, Insecure Harry, Unplanned Pregnancy, Lawyer Harry, Theatre Manager/Actor Louis, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, (check full tags).

At fifty years old and recently divorced, Omega Harry Styles isn't interested in dating. When his doctor suggests a heat and rut matching service, he signs up out of necessity. It’s the only use he has for an Alpha in his life.

Twenty-eight-year-old Alpha Louis Tomlinson aims to change that.

💜 Until by allwaswell16

@allwaswell16 Tumblr Fic Post

Harry/Louis | Explicit | 38k

# Strangers to Enemies to Lovers, Famous Harry, Non-Famous Louis, Actor Harry, Songwriter Louis, Cowboy Harry, Farm Setting, Smut.

Rural Eagle County, Colorado wasn’t the type of place to find a famous musician or actor. At least not until songwriter Louis Tomlinson showed up with pop star Niall Horan to visit his uncle’s horse ranch, and they just happened to find themselves next door to a reclusive former movie star.

#June 29 2020 #28th appreciation #except I'm a day late - oops #june fic rec #fic rec #monthly fic rec #ficrectag

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bewaretheidesofmarchyall · 4 years

Text

Soulmate Shenanigans Four: A New Shenanigan

I think you know what’s happening. If not, parts one, two, and three are here.

Basically, there were prompts for Soulmate AUs meant to be done in September. And now I’m doing them.

Midway through October.

Woo!

Prompt #4

There is a trail of color only you can see that marks out where your soulmate has been.

Warnings for death mentions (less than normal, but still....it’s there)

World Building

Color trails had been around for all of human history.

Gods were invented to explain them, and maybe some of them even existed once.

The truth is, no one knows how they were created or for what purpose, some choosing to blame it on pheromones and some on divine will.

This is despite all the scientific advancements color trails caused.

After all, Julius Caesar and Cleopatra knew they weren’t meant to be, so they never even tried. Therefore, Caesar never burned the Library Of Alexandria, which changed the course of human history forever.

Now, technology is on the up and up, and things are even more of a cyberpunk dystopia!

The Havens

No matter what happens over the course of human history, people are going to want to take solace in something. Corporations were able to isolate the basic things people seek and create Havens (special centers for the things).

To find Havens, there’s the cyberpunk dystopia version of a wooden signpost that points in different directions. The arms read:

This Way To Feel Safe

This Way To Feel Lucky

This Way To Feel Self-Righteous

This Way To Feel Content

This Way To Feel Beautiful

This Way To Feel Euphoric

This Way To Feel Nothing

Whoever controls a Haven controls the people, not the government. Everyone’s pretty aware of this, including the government, which spends most of their time in the Havens anyway.

Each of the main Havens is trying to become the only one, but it’s really a stalemate, since different people want different things. Their goal is to stop that pesky habit.

Characters

Virgil: Virgil really should be the famous hacker. After all, he’s pretty tech-smart, socially reclusive, and kind of scary.

Sadly, he’s too practical to be the famous hacker. If he was a hacker, he’d just hack stuff instead of leaving an honest-to-god calling card, which will eventually get any hacker caught.

No, Virgil’s just a petty thief in the sky.

He and Janus were trying to buy their way into a Haven, but they’ve gotten more and more expensive as the years have gone by, hence the thievery. Janus runs the scams on the ground while Virgil uses all manners of hovering to scale the buildings no one expects to be scaled.

That was the plan, until Jan went missing.

Virgil assumed that his friend abandoned him as soon as he got enough money for one person, so now he intends to find Janus in whichever Haven he ran off to and give him a piece of his mind.

But now he really needs money. Luckily, he knows where to find it.

He knows for a fact that his soulmate is, in fact, the famous hacker, and he has one hell of a bounty on his head.

Roman: In his defense, he didn’t know he was going to get famous. But he was loving it.

Roman started out coding games with his brother. They had a whole plan for the stories they’d create and tell to the world.

Remus went missing around when Janus did.

Now, Roman’s going to hack into every single Haven until he finds the one that took his brother.

He’s pulled off a few stunts in the past, leaving his calling card (a diadem) every time, but they were just practice events. His next idea is hacking into the Lucky Haven’s system, but things get a little complicated.

The Actual Plot

Virgil noticed the glowing red trail at the first hacking site, but he assumed it was just a coincidence. But when the ground glowed red at the next five sites as well, he realized he’d struck gold.

All he had to do was follow the trail and turn in his soulmate, and he’d be able to find his friend.

He saw the red glow on the top of the skyscraper across from the Lucky Haven, and hovered to where his soulmate was.

Meanwhile, Roman was furiously crashing through firewalls when he saw a guy hover up to the roof. He was going to run when he saw that his footsteps stained the roof violet.

He’d found his soulmate!!

Virgil had expected a lot of things. He expected a fight, he expected a chase scene. He definitely didn’t expect the 6th most wanted hacker to greet him like he’d known him for ages and flirt.

And, to be honest, he didn’t expect him to be this cute.

Roman was convinced that, if someone was his soulmate, their motives had to be pure. So, he’s treating this entire situation like a first date while Virgil tries awkwardly to mention the fact that he was trying to turn him in for a bounty, which is an interesting conversation starter.

Over the course of the conversation, Virgil finds out that Remus disappeared around the same time as Janus, as well as what exactly Roman’s been doing with that keyboard. He puts a few things together, and realizes that there’s a chance that they’re in the same place.

Virgil decides that he’ll help Roman, for now.

Unfortunately for him, that’s when he accidentally mentions the whole “turning him in for a bounty” thing, and Roman bolts.

It’s hard to run from someone who can see your footsteps, but not impossible. If you take an elevator, it’s impossible to tell what floor you get off on, and if you steal a bike, you’re home free.

Roman bikes as far away as he can, while Virgil curses at himself.

Where Have Janus And Remus Been This Whole Time?

Experimenting on people against their will is illegal. No one, especially a respected corporation, would ever do such a thing!

The Havens merely have an Anti-Non-Involuntary Focus Group, which is perfectly legal.

It’s like a normal focus group, but the participant’s leave times are postponed indefinitely.

Janus and Remus quickly became close friends because they’d been put in a room together once in the hopes that at least one of them would kill the other. No such luck. The two of them went on to do Crimes together, because if they weren’t going to be released from the focus group they’d make the focus group wish they were gone.

Back To The Actual Plot

Virgil searched for Roman, trying to find a way to say “hey, I was totally going to turn you in, but I changed my mind” that would actually convince him. So far, it didn’t work at all, but he kept trying.

Meanwhile, Roman planned to hack into the Self-Righteous Haven. He found yet another skyscraper, checking far and wide for violet glows. He pretended that he wasn’t thinking about Virgil, but...he was clearly thinking about Virgil.

He managed to bring down a significant portion of the Self-Righteous computer system and leave his diadem calling card, but here’s the thing about the Haven of the Self-Righteous:

They’re always on the lookout for someone to hate, and they carry plenty of weapons to get rid of them when they find them.

Roman found himself cornered on that roof, surrounded by sharp smiles and even sharper blades. He managed to fend some off, but eight against one is too tall of an order, even for a guy who knows how to use a sword.

At the last second, he heard Virgil call out to him. He was hovering along the edge of the building, and held out his arm.

Roman took it, and had the most terrifying few minutes of his life on the way down, clinging to Virgil like a young koala and screaming.

After they got their bearings and went on the run together for a little while, Virgil explained his plan.

Now that he had a feeling that Janus hadn’t left on purpose, he reexamined that day in a different light. Roman said that Remus had disappeared in a certain area, and that was around where Jan was at the time.

In fact, that block was a hotbed for mysterious disappearances. So, Virgil was going to get kidnapped!

Roman greeted this suggestion with a calm, “What the actual fuck, Virgil”

Virgil said that he was going to find Janus and Remus, then send up a signal. When the signal went off, Roman would hack into the doors and release him from...wherever.

It takes some convincing, as they’d been on the run together for weeks and gotten kind of attached, but the plan went into motion.

Virgil went and got himself kidnapped, but the plan went south fast when he was brought through physical, metal, non-electronic doors.

Non-hackable doors.

He was screwed.

Virgil found Remus first, because Remus is extremely hard to miss (can’t miss someone who’s literally lighting people’s feet aflame at random), and then got a wholesome reunion with Janus.

PRISON ANTI-NON-INVOLUNTARY FOCUS GROUP BREAK

The three of them and Roman find a clever way to escape the focus group. What is the clever way? Ask the me who actually writes the fic, not the me who’s writing this instead of doing homework she really needs to do.

The four of them later team up to weaken each and every Haven, travelling through a regular Dante’s Inferno that gets to call itself paradise because of good marketing.

They travel to those that get simulated safety, and luck, and self-righteousness, and contentness, and beauty, and euphoria, and emptiness

Of course, rebellions never rely on one or four people. There are a thousand small acts, thousands of straws pouring upon the camel’s back. But it cannot be denied that a hacker and a petty thief, alongside a scam artist and an agent of chaos, left a mark on the world, besides the glowing ones only they could see.

And when the two finally got around to a kiss, they could see their own reflection softly glow for weeks.

Now I need to do my homework

#prinxiety #soulmate au #ts sides #sanders sides #fanfic #beware the drafts of march #virgil sanders #roman sanders #ts virgil #ts roman #janus sanders #remus sanders #ts janus #ts remus #janus #remus

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trilies · 5 years

Text

an argument for AO3

So I’m in a conversation with someone who is kind of in the “against AO3″ camp, and they asked me a couple of questions. Namely, who wouldn’t be uncomfortable with pedophilia? Isn’t it sketchy that a beta website is asking for so much money despite reaching its goals?

And my answer became so long... I figured it might as well become its own post. Please bear in mind that this is cut from a whole conversation.

But here it is.

------

No. It doesn't seem sketchy to me at all. Why would it? I know we make jokes about how much money tumblr has cost the various sites which purchase it like Yahoo, but there's some truth there: it's really expensive to host a website to thousands and thousands of people. It's why we see so many tumblr owners trying to shoehorn in ads or make people buy services, or why Photobucket tried to pull that truly atrocious bullshit a year or two back. Without image hosting capabilities (tumblr and photobucket's big thing), the strain isn't as huge.... but AO3 is MASSIVE. It is hosting literally thousands of accounts, millions of stories. That's massive on a server scale alone, ignoring all the other work they do. Yeah, it's in beta... but that's because it's trying to reach a goal of being as good a fanfic archive as they can be, and they don't believe they've reached that goal yet. Being in beta means they can better listen to their uses on shit like tagging systems and make those changes. Not to mention, again, they are INCREDIBLY transparent. If you are worried about where the money is going, you can go on the site and they have all their stuff up there.

As for the pedophilia subject matter.... Please give me a moment. because there's honestly a lot to say on that particular issue, if nothing else. This will take a while, so if you see this and there hasn't been a reply yet.... I'm still typing lmao.

To start with, of course people are uncomfortable about pedophilia. However, there are a lot of problems with how pedophilia is viewed or *used* as an accusation in the current fandom climate.

For example, in honestly EXTREMELY recent times, I was told I was "defending" pedophilia because I disagreed that a character (an immortal food gijinka) was "minor-coded" or "designed as an underage teenager". (As a note, an argument for this view was that the character's breasts were too small.) When I pointed out, hey, that's kind of a fucked up accusation to throw at a complete stranger, especially as I am a CSA survivor, I was told "You have to be lying about that, then, because a real CSA survivor would understand."

c o o l

That's just my personal experience that happened within a couple of months. Other people have talked about running into people who think that a character turning 18 means they're a pedophile for still dating a 17 year old. Or running into people who think a 40 year old dating someone in their 30s is pedophilic. Or believe that even SHIPPING characters who were not yet 18 was pedophilic if you yourself were over 18.

(Of course, you also have the kinds of people who try to use Moral Purity as a way to bash ships they don't like. I once saw someone try to claim that a popular mlm ship, A/B, was pedophilic because one half of the equation looked young.... when some other artists drew him... Of course, on the side, this person liked to also get angry that *their* favorite ship, a dude/chick ship composing of A/C, wasn't more popular. So. You know.)

So that's one half of the problem: the word "pedophile" being so warped that a lot of people now have no idea if the person using it has a genuine concern or if the accuser is trying to smear someone who doesn't ship the same thing. FFnet and Tumblr have gone with the "burn it all down" approach, which hasn't actually helped anyone and is, to boot, sloppily moderated. So we know from history, from experience in cases like mine, that it doesn't help in that area.

The other half of the problem is... How far is too far?

This is where "anti" culture begins to find similarities with the whole Warriors for Innocence thing. If you completely and blindly block an entire tag, or anyone associated with it, you have to ask: who are you hurting? Warriors for Innocence hurt actual rape victim, and queer folk, and a whole lot of others. Far as I can tell, anti culture is on the route to the same thing, because I have yet to see appropriate answers to a lot of issues.

If one says "anything with underage sex in it is bad and should be banned", what about fics that tackle it in a serious manner? The young adult novel "Speak" deals with rape of an underage girl and how she works through that mental trauma; are fics with stories equivalent to that allowed? Do fics with underage sex have to focus purely on how it is Horrible And Bad to be allowed? Does only a chapter have to be allowed? A paragraph? An author's note? A tag? Or are we allowed to never explore dark subject matter?

Is fic with underage content in it only horrible if it's someone over the age of eighteen who writes it? Can a teenager write smut (terribly written as it may likely be) between teenage characters? Can a teenager write smut between a teenage character and an adult character? For the record, i did in fact, over the summer, run into someone who said that teens/minors "shouldn't even know about NSFW", which is asinine to me, because Abstinence Only is a terrible thing to put in schools, and somehow worse in a way when you try to put that into effect in fandom. If the answer is 'yes', what are you going to do, demand to see people's birth certificates in fandom?

(As a note, I think this is a terrible message to put into fandom for teenagers because I believe it will inevitably lead to self hatred and a warped view of sex. If you make the extremely simplified black-and-white statement of "teens and sex should never go together ever in any way", that's going to mess up teens who are starting to experience arousal in their bodies. The message, whether intended or not, ends up as "NSFW things are bad, which means my brain which thought NSFW thoughts is bad, and my brain thought those thoughts because my body had these feelings". )

(This is bad for any average teenager. This will be especially worse to CSA and rape victims, along with queer youth who, in a lot of places, are still struggling with their bodies and/or feelings because the world is still pretty damn queerphobic.)

Speaking of CSA and rape victims, what about those of them who write/read underage ships or dark content as a way to cope with what happened or Just Because? That's a thing lots of us do, especially those of us who don't look like the Perfect Victims people can use as an excuse for whatever crusade they're waging. I've heard anti types go "Well, it's an unhealthy way to cope" or claims that CSA/rape victims who write such dark content are "just as bad as their abusers"... But are they psychiatrists/therapists? Are they the psychiatrists/therapists of *those specific people*? Will you moderate this kind of content by forcefully interrogating CSA/rape victims to out their trauma to a complete stranger? Will you demand to speak to their therapists? Over fanfic?

When I was a teenager, I wrote all sorts of stuff. I wrote dark dub-con fic, because I liked to explore those dark feelings in the process and the aftermath separate from myself. I wrote a fic with a fairly young teenage girl (what age was kh2 kairi? who even knows, I sure didn't) falling for a MUCH older man built like a brick shit house so that there was never any doubt to him being an adult, even giving him her first kiss, because they were my favorite characters, I wanted both of them to have a moment of happiness (that i promptly ruined but hey), and, *in this fic*, I knew it would be alright. I knew the girl would always be in control, she'd be the one making moves, that the guy was nonthreatening and kind and protect her and work alongside her.

(and then I began the process of killing him off in the next paragraph through him saving her life, but, like. Drama (tm), baby)

This was all good for me. At an age where I was young, vulnerable, and figuring out weird shit like arousal and romantic feelings, it was *invaluable* to have a space where I could explore all of that while relatively safe from actual danger, even if the stuff I wanted to explore was a little messed up. This whole thing against AO3 wouldn't have helped me, and I'm pretty sure it's not helping a lot of other people too.

There is an issue with underage people and sex stuff- not just in fandom but in culture at large. We have Hollywood dressing up young girl actresses in super slinky or revealing clothes. We have schools saying girls basically should never wear shorts, and capitalism fucking this up further by only selling SUPER SHORT shorters. We have media of all sorts giving us adults, whether in real actors or character design, in the roles of young people. (See: "how do you do, fellow kids") We should probably take more care about fandom spaces, so that people of all ages don't feel pressured to engage in sexual shit they're not 100% game for or into, or just have it shoved into their faces without consent. It's a complex issue... and it's not stuff that can just be 'banned' and have that fix it.

AO3 has on its plate a very complex problem that will, if we're all honest, never have a perfect answer. It has given us the best that can possibly be asked for. It obeys the law by not having actual child pornography on it (aka visual proof of actual real children, defined by us law as such), which is closest to "objective" we can get at the current stage in humanity and state of fandom. It has a very comprehensive and moderated tag system, so that people can post warnings along their fic so that people don't stumble onto shit they don't need to, and so that people can moderate their own reading experience to some degree.

If some people aren't comfortable with AO3, that's fine. However, most of us are getting annoyed not with those people, but with the people who just blindly say "AO3 supports child porn and is probably stealing money" (statement simplified for the purpose of this post). It shows an ignorance of the fandom history that lead us here, no understanding in either AO3's practices or how expensive it is to run a site, and no consideration for how complex this problem can really be. It would be great if this was a black and white issue, if there was an easy answer as just "banning" certain kinds of content... but there isn't. And that's where I am.

#long post #ao3 #fandom #here comes the ruckus #csa tw #rape tw #you never realize how long what you've written is #until it's in a whole ass tumblr post #well!

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whattaloser · 3 years

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Why I’m a Leftist

I know I’m probably just some dude who reblogs cool stuff to most of my followers but I’ve got a nice long story/rant about my political beliefs here that I’ve been wanting to write for awhile

I am a leftist first and foremost because I value human life. Everyone matters. No person is inherently more important than another person. Everyone has inherent rights that should not be infringed. People who infringe on other’s rights are morally wrong to do so. In essence my leftism is based on doing what is right. Obviously everyone has their own opinion on what is right but what is vitally important is knowing why your moral code is right. This is why so many people become liberals or conservatives or otherwise rather than leftists. They simply do not know enough about how the world works. There are a lot of reasons they don’t know, not the least of which is intentional covering up history and preventing education. I don’t believe people who aren’t leftists are stupid, but I do believe leftists know more. It’s kinda fucked up but it’s the only way you can explain inconsistencies in other’s values.

My path to leftism was full of cringe. When i was 7 years old Al Gore was running against George Bush for president. I did not know enough to have a real opinion on it but I am happy to say that I wanted Al Gore to win. This thought was based on very little if any logical reason. I basically flipped a coin in my head I think. Or maybe there was some outside influence that I wasn’t aware of, like my older sister who I looked up to might have said she liked Al gore. Either way, from then on I was in favor of democrats and did not like George Bush. When 9/11 happened I remembered thinking how dumb it was that people lined up around the block to get gas. Even as a child I knew that some buildings going down wasn’t going to end the great nation of the United States. In general I thought the United States was a great country. I knew from movies and tv as well as elementary school history that the United States was the most powerful country in the world.

I recall in Sixth grade my teacher mentioned she liked George Bush because he was against gay marriage. Somehow at the time my opinion was the opposite despite being raised Catholic. I believed in god until I graduated high school and suddenly my desire to be religious slipped away and so did my belief. I do not consider this a great loss.

Sometime in middle school or early high school I had solidified my opinion that the war in Iraq and Afghanistan was pointless and George Bush was a bad president. I was heavily influenced by movies and somewhat by video games that had imparted plenty of anti-war messages. Talks with my dad about nuclear missiles, watching History channel shows about world war 2, and playing Metal Gear Solid which had explicit nuclear disarmament messages, all informed me on the horrors of war. This was not enough to make me totally anti-military. In high school I wanted to join the military because I thought it was an easy way to get life experience and eventually pay for college. I was attracted to the Marines because of how cool movies like The Rock and video games like Call of Duty made it seem to be a Marine. I thought they were the best of the best. I was simultaneously against war, against veteran worship, and very pro-military. I was indoctrinated by years of government propaganda but also disillusioned by all forms of media including the book All Quiet on the Western Front which was about a soldier becoming disillusioned by witnessing horrors of war and the negative impact it had on everyone in his country. I spoke with a recruiter during my senior year and expressed my desire to be a Marine but I told him I wanted to wait a year after high school so I could get physically fit enough. The recruiter did not care that I was underweight and out of shape. He didn’t even care that I was very enthusiastic about joining, he was still putting on his best salesman demeanor which made me incredibly uneasy. The experience is supposed to pressure people into signing up on the spot, I think they even had forms for me to sign (i can’t really remember though) but I was not ready and was aware enough how I was being manipulated although not entirely cognizant. After that I no longer wanted to be in the military.

I also have to point out that I grew up in an unstable household. My parents were both loving but they were flawed and made mistakes and had problems. My dad was a typical Gen x man’s man. A little bit too emotionally repressed, but actually really good with kids when it came to play time and still is. He worked a lot because my mother couldn’t. My mother has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder as long as I can remember. Her medical bills related to her problems combined with other financially bad decisions by my parents caused my home life to be fraught. I lived in varying degrees of poverty until my parents separated and me and my siblings moved with my mother to her parents’ house away from my father. Prior to moving though, we endured great financial difficulty. We were unable to afford school lunches but could not apply for free or reduced lunches because technically my father made a lot of money, however it was all garnished for medical bills. My father always tells about how he bought a car that had hidden frame damage and when he attempted to sue the dealership for selling a bad car he lost and was garnished for that as well. Despite making over 25 dollars an hour in 1999, my father could not afford school lunches for three kids and couldn’t afford to pay the gas bill. Without going into too much more detail, life sucked and continued to suck until I graduated, at least financially. I still found plenty of joy and it wasn’t always that bad. We still found ways to have good things like video games and we could always rewatch old movies but there’s a lot of psychic weight that comes with being that poor as a child and I’m sure it affects me and my ability to empathize with others who in bad conditions.

So i watched a lot of movies and documentaries, read a lot of books growing up, discovered internet forums at the age of 11, played video games, moved to a town that had a very large Hispanic population, and I even grew up poor. All of this life experience turned me into a very average liberal upon graduating high school. I was a very optimistic 18 year old. I thought science could save the world. If I was 18 today I would be an average redditor stereotype probably. The point here though is I still wasn’t a leftist. Only vaguely progressive and full of optimism. This is when I got sucked into the anti-feminist pipeline.

I can’t remember what exactly what I had going on in my life but I remember it was around the time of Gamergate. Everyone on the internet, celebrities, and pop culture were saying “if you believe in equality between genders you’re a feminist” an did not like that. And there was a ton of people online to tell me I was right in not liking that. They all said feminism was not necessary anymore because legally you couldn’t discriminate against women and I agreed. Gamergate made it worse for reasons too complicated to get into in this already long post but suffice it say I was “pro Gamergate.” This put me at odds with my closes friends who thought feminism was great and had no qualms with it, and were already embracing the idea of being a “social justice warrior.” Despite reading all kinds of anti-feminist think pieces and reveling in the discourse, I was still very progressive and liberal minded person. Still thought the military was bad, that black people were discriminated against etc. But so many aspects of anti-feminism were appealing to me as a white guy who tried their hardest to do what they’re told is right, had low self esteem, undiagnosed adhd and depression, and a fundamental misunderstanding of what feminism was. Two things got me out of anti-feminism though. The first and most important thing was having friends who were patient with me about it. I didn’t reveal how into anti-feminism I was because I was ashamed but they could sense it and pushed back when they could. The second thing that got me out of it was actually finding feminists online and reading what they had to say, staying away from poorly written clickbait articles that fueled misogynist tirades against feminism. After reading and learning from feminists it finally clicked. Our society is patriarchal and that affects how people interact with each other regardless of what is legal. Many of the complaints of anti-feminism talk about how men have it in society, so how can society be patriarchal. It’s because of patriarchy that men are put in bad positions. Some of the more self aware anti-feminists had retorts against these ideas but they were emotionally charged. There’s still some anti-feminists I have respect for because of how well prepared and logical they were when it came to disputing feminism. But when it came down to the fundamental tenants of feminsim all they could respond with was anger or outright denial of reality. (If you’re like I was and don’t understand how anyone can thing modern feminism is good please feel free to ask me more, I just can’t get into specifics in this long ass post) Anyways, once you understand patriarchy and how it affects an individuals actions then you can start seeing how other institutions and cultural norms can affect an individual. This is basically fundamentals of leftism. I’d say about 90% of my path to leftism was just naturally absorbing cultural and historical information through consumption of media. The most conservative people I know are people who haven’t read very many books or seen very many movies. I’m not saying watching Austin Powers at the age of 10 will make everyone a leftist but constantly recontextualizing the world by learning something new, even if you learned it from some dumb comedy movie, can give you better grounding in a shared reality. Don’t know how to end this but I want to say when I was a teenager I thought “communism is good in theory but it doesn’t work in practice” and I had almost no historical basis for it other than the vague notion that USSR = bad despite having consumed a massive amount of media. None of it taught me what communism actually was, I didn’t know who Karl Marx was, and I had no clue why communism in the USSR failed. You can know a lot without knowing the truth so if you’re struggling with a loved one who is mind poisoned by conservative keep in mind that they know a lot but they’re missing something important to give clarity.

This has been my Ted Talk

#rambling #rant #Leftism #Conservative #feminism #anti feminism #Communism #Media #I definitely did not accomplish what I wanted to with this lol #Someone please clap #uwu

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felassan · 4 years

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Countering Solas

This is a subject I think about a lot, and not just post-Tevinter Nights. Whether you chose ‘try to redeem’ or ‘resolve to stop’, whether the Inquisitor returns as PC or there’s a new guy on the block, whether Solas is the Actual Big Bad in this game or the ‘Dragon’ to something else or just another key player on the ‘field’ over which some other encroaching threat is looming down on, the reality is we’re likely to be spending a lot of the main plot in DA4 trying to counter Solas and his steps. I say “counter” not “defeating” because most of this post deals with that, although at the end it does inevitably dip into the hypothetical defeat scenario (so I guess don’t read to the last point at the end if you don’t like to think about that scenario). I also say “counter” because there is no guarantee that we can straight up stop him. (To be clear, I’m not against the idea of the main plot having him always succeeding from a top-level meta/enjoying the universe and developments within it perspective, nor asserting that he will not. There are seeds in the lore that allude to him succeeding. A post-Veil world would be a fascinating thing to explore and really change things up/refresh the universe. A post-Veil world setting for DA5 has a lot of cool potential. It’s just that even if he does always succeed, we’re still likely to be spending most of the game trying to counter him, kind of like Hawke trying to put out various Kirkwall ‘fires’ until eventually it reaches the Act 3 crescendo and you can’t stop Anders no matter what. I’m specifically wondering about how the writers will have our PCs go about the attempt, trying to explore what that could entail on a practical level, and that’s okay. It’s trying to think about what the story beats and even some game mechanics could involve, given his power. The PC isn’t going to spend the game sitting on their hands and doing nothing re: the Dread Wolf, since Thedas seems aware of this new threat, unlike how Kirkwall was unaware of Anders’ goal. This post also doesn’t mean I don’t like Solas, that I haven’t played out his dialogues or romance, that I don't realize how Powerful he is, or that I think that there’s no other big threat to Thedas that is a serious danger to the world and that Solas is concerned about - the Solas romance is my favorite one and my canon. I shouldn’t really have to make so many qualifications of this kind on a post like this) Anyway I wonder a lot about the specifics of how they’re going to write the PC doing this in terms of the PC’s in-universe efforts and maneuvers on this quest, and about how they can portray this in a satisfying way. I also think a lot about what my Inquisitor would be doing in her own specific efforts to try and stop him.

Here’s some wandering thoughts on the subject of how it might be possible to counter him. It’s a mix of things to keep and mind and literal suggestions of possible measures. This list is by no means intended as prescriptive or exhaustive, and I don’t claim that it’s realistic or ground-breaking or that these ideas would be super effective. There are also bound to be a bunch of things they have in store that we don’t know about, both in terms of what he can do and what they’ll have us do. The rest is under a cut for length and Tevinter Nights spoilers.

Let’s face it, from what we know of Solas, added to how he is at the end of Trespasser, now in combination with the new additions to his repertoire in Tevinter Nights, he’s clearly very powerful, even seeming in some lights a bit OP. He’s a powerful ancient mage from a different time with ancient knowledge, a Dreamer, a Rift Mage, a Fade expert, capable, shrewd, very intelligent and already experienced in this kind of covert stuff/guerrilla warfare. He can kill people in their sleep, freeze people from a distance with a flash of his eyes, he has a powerfully explosive mind-blast move, probably can take the form of the massive draconic Dread Wolf to fight, and it seems like some spirits are helping him. He also has an extensive network of spies and agents, some of whom are fanatically loyal to the cause to the point of being willing to giving their lives up for it; he has eyes everywhere, even in the Qun, Tevinter and the Inquisition. He and these agents are also able to easily move quickly and secretly around much of Thedas thanks to his control of the eluvian network. They seem to have a lot of info, resources and money at their disposal. He is a very substantial power and is of course also a god figure.

Recruit. This is fairly self-explanatory. We already know that since he knows who the Inquisition are, we’re in need of help from people he doesn’t know. This can be people he’s aware of but not super experienced with i.e. that he doesn’t have a complete psychological profile of thanks to having not spent a year working closely with them, like Irian and Vadis. Naturally, an even better idea would be recruiting people he doesn’t know of at all, that have never attracted his attention. It’s also important to remember that there are entire factions we’ve never encountered before in Thedas, like the Fex and the Par Ladians. Very little is known about these groups. We have no idea what they’re capable of, and the dearth of information means it’s totally possible for the writers to write whatever they want about their capabilities and powers.

Some recruitment specifics: Since we know now that he can kill dwarves in their sleep the same as anyone else, even though they supposedly don’t dream, focusing on recruiting mostly dwarves because they wouldn’t be vulnerable to that doesn’t really hold as a viable strategy. A degree of caution towards both existing and new faces is required also, as he has spies/agents placed everywhere - in the Inquisition, the Qun, Tevinter, across Thedas even (which I took to mean across most of its nations and factions). New people need to be highly vetted. Where did they come from? What’s their personal history? How long do the records say they’ve been around for? If there’s anything odd, questionable or unknown/unsure, they can’t be trusted. (Frustratingly, my Inquisitor genuinely mistrusted Solas from the very outset, but you have no option of telling him to go away or not recruiting him). I also hate saying it but an extra layer of caution is unfortunately needed with elves. His agents so far are all elves, including some City, some Dalish, and some ancients, and we can’t know at the outset who is working for him and who is not.

And possibly… even someone he does know. Seemingly clashes with the points above, but there’s merit in the idea. Solas makes a big deal of how he has spies everywhere and how all organizations inevitably have problems with betrayal and corruption. Even with the fanatical-ness of some of them, what makes his follower group any different? I know he keeps them in separate cells so that it’s need-to-know and such, but it’s actually rather boring to me if as a whole they’re completely immune to being infiltrated, having double agents present or outright defections. We already have one example of an ancient elf who turned from the cause and began to think of modern elves as people - Felassan. I bring him up less as a ‘Felassan as a companion pls’ thing (although, pls pls) and more of an example that it’s possible such a character exists/could turn. Felassan didn’t know everything, but if we managed to get someone like that on our side… he knew parts of Solas’ plans and what he intends, and he knew the guy himself quite well and so knew a thing or two about how he operates. Advice from someone like that would be invaluable. You could either have someone acting as an agent of Fen’Harel but in reality they’re a double-agent for us, or a straight up defector who joins our party, turning their powers and what they know about him against him. Additional note: There is now even official indication that the writers have left the door open on Felassan’s “death” in case they decide they want to bring him back.

Not all elves will support him. Ties into the point above. Elves are not a monolith. We have examples of this already - see Charter and her love for Tessa, Irian’s refusal to join them when approached for recruitment (and her relationship with Vadis and general opinion on the whole Fen’Harel cult thing). We even have an example of an ancient not supporting him (Felassan). I would appreciate it if there is an option in-game at some point to try to have a dialogue with some of the elves who follow Solas (but mostly only if race-selection returns and the PC is an elf themselves, otherwise it could take on a not-right tone). Their decision to support Solas is understandable and not stupid, and their concerns are valid. Gaining better understanding of their perspective would be a good thing.

Adapt / change things up. Also fairly self-explanatory. We already know that he knows how the Inquisition works, about its strengths and weaknesses. They are naturally going to need to radically alter their modus operandi. This includes their structure, approaches to things and the specifics of their secrecy measures. They need to try and be unpredictable to him and do things he wouldn’t expect, and double down on being clandestine, need-to-know basis, etc. Real black ops shit. This battle is a chess-board, not open warfare.

Talk-no-Justu. Some amount of this are inevitable I think, especially in ‘try to redeem’ universes. This isn’t a criticism. If it’s well-written and executed well, I have no problem with it. Part of this involves trying to appeal to his better nature and sense of reason, and part of this involves trying to convey the value in and the pockets of good in the modern world, which TN gives us examples of. We have examples of some modern elves who occupy or occupied different positions of relative power or prestige - Charter, Irian, Teia, Cyrros, Guili, Bolivar. There are examples of good deeds; Teia’s ‘don’t kill the help’ policy, Irian and Vadis avoiding killing Tevinter elven servants and Qunari elves who were just doing their jobs, Dorian no longer keeping slaves and only now having paid servants, Lucanis endangering his job and current contract to free a group of elven slaves from their cruel Magister master, the development of an anti-slavery movement in Tevinter. Much of Thedas is still a widely problematic crapsack, and these things don’t in the slightest make up for it for its oppressed groups, but I can see BW putting us in a position where we have the choice of trying to advocate for the modern world and creating change within it as it exists now.

Solas hasn’t been as mysterious and opaque as he thinks. We too spent a long time with him and know his character traits decently well. Sometimes he even could not resist dropping a hint here or there (whether out of pride, moments of weakness or the unconscious desire to be stopped is up to your reading of him). We too know something of how he organizes his forces, how he operates, his tactics and way of thinking. We are not the only ones in this compromised position. He inadvertently revealed some of this stuff in instances like his guerrilla warfare banters with Sera and even in his vocal chess match with Iron Bull. Please note that this is not me suggesting that he is stupid or that he does not carefully consider what to say and what not to say.

He is not all-knowing and all-seeing. He doesn’t have complete oversight of his agents. Sometimes they do things he would not approve of or even that are in accidental complete opposition to what he wants. The best example of his is when Gaius in the comics traded away the idol for information, the very idol Solas has been keenly-seeking all along and is key to his post-foci plans. To add, some of his people are fanatical, and fanaticism is not traditionally a notorious hotbed of critical thinking or making the best decisions.

He is also not infallible. I don’t doubt that he is eminently capable, or that he’s logical and considered, or that he’s keenly aware of what his flaws are. But in his own way, he’s human. He has made mistakes. By his own admission he’s prideful and hotheaded. Pride is his fatal flaw and the crux of his character. He will continue to make mistakes, as anybody would.

There is a bit of a front going on. In a way, the booming ordering wolf and the “I’ll destroy anyone who gets in my way without hesitation, you cannot stop me” persona isn’t quite true. I mean, it is, and he will, he’s dedicated to his goal and feels he has no choice. He’s also quite pragmatic and ends-over-means. But he’s also simultaneously deeply regretful, and very sad and tired. This duality can be capitalized on. Also tying to the above, when we’re sad and tired, we’re more inclined to slip up and make mistakes. In some universes he straight-up seems like the wants to be proven wrong or wants to be stopped or die in the attempt but be thwarted.

He himself acknowledges the threat modern Thedosians pose to him and his plans. He is on record saying that many people oppose him and that he knows they’re not fools. He’s worried enough to personally attend a meeting of the top spies in all of Thedas in order to try and find out what they know about him and attempt to throw people off his scent. That’s a big deal. He is worried for a reason

He underestimates modern Thedosians. Related to the point above. Not by much, but still a bit. Felassan straight-up tells him that they are stronger than he thinks. This goes for their intelligence and resourcefulness also.

How many followers can he even have? A few dozen at least, a few hundred at most imo. That’s considerable but not actually a lot in the scheme of things.

Length of time. Self-explanatory. It’s going to take a few years for the ritual to complete. HoF stopped the Fifth Blight in a year. Inky stopped Cory in a year. A lot can be done in a year or two.

Forge alliances. There are seeds of this happening already and it’s a standard part of a BW narrative, ‘oh we must unite against our common enemy guys’. He clearly has knowledge of many intelligence-related groups in Thedas, including but not limited to the dwarven Carta, Inquisition remains, Nevarran Mortalitasi, Tevinter Siccari, Qunari Ben-Hassrath, the Executors and probably Orlesian bards. But, could he really stand against all of them, were they to work together? They in turn have been keeping tabs on him and have various intelligence on his movements, goals etc. What if we pool and share all that knowledge? We’d get a much clearer picture of what he’s doing. Some are already actively working against him and reaching out to one another. What if we add in other groups he doesn’t have a signposted-eye on to the mix, like the Antivan Crows, the Grey Wardens and the Rivaini Lords of Fortune? I think all or most of these groups working together are a formidable adversary for anyone to face. A potentially very potent ‘let’s counter him’ alliance between the Inquisition and the Qunari Ben-Hassrath is already alluded to. What if the Ben-Hassrath then re-direct the Antaam’s attentions to the real magical threat (and boy do they hate magic)? They have canons, explosives, dreadnoughts, advanced technologies, many well-trained soldiers.

Information-gathering. If there’s one fallen piece of Arlathan with bits of libraries with ancient elven texts in them that can be located by the Inquisition and ransacked for clues on the Evanuris and their potential undoing, there are others. The Inquisition and Qunari are both clearly researching this subject and pursuing this line of thinking, and they clearly both had this idea independent of one another. If one expedition can be mounted, others can. Laudine can’t be the only person for a gift for ancient elven language. Among the Dalish there are probably others who are good with it. Who knows what useful information we might find in these places/ventures, or already found in the TN expedition?

Smash the eluvianarchy. His agents would still be able to get around a lot and easily, because there are bound to be many more and many that we don’t know about. It’s also a waste of priceless ancient artifacts. But every barricaded door is one they can’t get through, one more tool denied them. Briala and her people probably know where a portion of them at least still are. So do the Qunari. Doing this to every one that’s known of and every one that’s found along the way partially hampers their ability to travel through them and therefore partially impacts their movements

[and/or] Construct our own eluvians. Having our own means of instant travel and our own network of eluvians would be helpful. Two can play at that game, sort of thing. Modern inventors like Dagna are brilliant. The Glassworks in Serault are renowned across Thedas for their skill and knowledge, and Morrigan even went there to conduct research on eluvians. What they have there, and what she researched, was enough that it enabled her to be able to repair an eluvian. The Inquisition has done some research into eluvians and has contact, either direct as in the case of Morrigan, or indirect as in the case of Merrill (via Varric) with its own eluvian experts. And in Trespasser, Dorian comments that they have many eluvian samples and discusses the possibility of them building eluvians of their own (Varric even pipes up about Merrill if he’s there). Dorian indicates a desire to do this and take it on as a project, so this isn’t out of the realm of possibility.

Seize the means of lyrium production. Okay not literally, and not all of it. But there’s something to be said for the idea, both at the point of extraction and the point of sale/trade. If his ritual truly does require lyrium as the characters in the final story in TN speculate, if his ritual is anything like what the Magisters Sidereal did, it’s likely that he needs looots of the substance. The Magisters Sidereal needed an unimaginable, inordinate amount, actually over two thirds of the lyrium in the entire Tevinter empire at the time. The Magisters had to set 100 acolytes just to the task of gathering it. This amount of such a valuable substance would surely take some time to acquire, even with his many agents and all his money. If you remember, all those coffin-like boxes in Trespasser may have contained lyrium. The companions remark that this was enough lyrium for whole armies of mages. So much lyrium that the Imperium would be jealous and it outstrips the amount Orzammar keeps on hand. That sounds like a Magisters Sidereal Ritual 2.0 amount, if not more. Fortunately we flooded that room and put everything that had been mined underwater. Is there more elsewhere, or was that The store, was that a setback for Solas and he had to begin acquiring it all over again? It does sound like his ritual has already begun, to be fair, which would perhaps imply he had all he needed in order to have begun it in the first place. But I enjoy the thought. Maybe it requires more like a constant stream fed into it, like how we must routinely add wood to a fire in order to keep it burning? Track missing lyrium shipments, find out who is buying up an oddly-much amount. Follow these lines of thinking back to route agents of Fen’Harel and prolong this labor of his. However, a note: if Solas’ ritual requires red lyrium to fuel it and not blue lyrium, this is unlikely to be possible and would not be wise to attempt.

Tap the templars and the Seekers. I don’t like the templars either, but. Tevinter templars have access to enchanted anti-mage weapons that shoot beams of light. Even better, the southern templars and the Seekers are trained specifically to counter and deny magic. They can reinforce reality and the immutability of the world, close off a mage’s access to the Fade, disrupt mana and dissipate magical effects. This is in stark contrast to the magical/Fade-y themes of imagination defining reality and using magic to direct the river of the Fade and therefore influence the world, and I think this contrast is highlighted for a reason. Templars are also somewhat immune to the effects of magic, and even without their powers are among the best warriors in Thedas. They would be capable allies in this specific battle, against a powerful mage with some strong mage followers. And more specifically, a few dozen elite/veteran templars were all that was needed to seal the Breach that first time in DAI if you sided with the templars. Okay yes, via the Herald and through their tool - the Anchor - but that was to seal an already-open tear. What would happen if a few dozen elite templars directed their wills and nullifying abilities at the ritual-in-progress? What about a few hundred? Would Solas be able to cast, for example, his mega mind blast if a few hundred templars were focusing their “nope” on him?

Disrupt the ritual. Ties to the above. Find the ritual site and interrupt the casting or proceedings. It’s going to take several years to complete and sounds intricate. Until it is completed, it is vulnerable. It might be fairly possible to locate as well - the site is likely imo to be somewhere where the Veil is thin. Some such places are already known to modern Thedosians, due to what happened there in the past being a matter of historical record (blood and death) and the weird nature of these places in the present e.g. Brecilian Forest, Arlathan Forest. Others can feasibly be located via research. Solas is the premiere Fade/Veil expert, and he led the work on this at the time, but the Inquisition helped him get readings of the Veil and measure its strength. The results were then overlaid on Thedas maps to predict which areas had a higher chance of tears developing. Are they still in possession of some of this work/some of the notes? Maybe this could be used or developed further.

Nullifying the effects of the idol. This is something that’s clearly possible. The Carta had a special thick double-shielded chest that effectively rendered the idol inert enough that its song and weird effects could no longer be heard/felt. It was marked with protective dwarven runes. Later the idol is kept on a pedestral wrought with - presumably similar - protective runework. I’m super interested in these runes and how they might be adapted to help our cause. (What implications in a general sense btw, do these nullifying runes have for combatting/negating red lyrium and Blight? There’s something going on here) The dwarves are great at this kind of thing, experienced in it and have some really cutting edge technology/creations. In addition, there are some really smart cookies and inventors among modern Thedosians. Dagna for example. She’s brilliant. One step further, destroy the idol. If his MacGuffin is destroyed, what’s his Plan C?

The effects of red lyrium. LOTR-y, but how long can he use or wield the red lyrium idol safely, without becoming corrupted/losing his mind? We know what its effects and the effects of red lyrium in general are. Maybe this is a complete non-issue for him, but it’s possible. In the teaser, red lyrium crawls up the spine of the Solas-esque figure on the idol. I don’t know that he can be immune to its effects indefinitely.

Approach existing modern Dreamers. The talent seemed to reappear in Feynriel, but he’s not the only one. There are still Dreamers in the Imperium, like Aurelian Titus before his death. I doubt he had no counterparts. There is also a belief that a few Dreamers might still exist among the Dalish. Maybe they can help us and our people find a way to defend against or ward off being killed in our sleep.

On the killing in sleep thing in general: It’s not the same as defending against being killed in sleep, but even some strong non-Dreamer mages like the Mortalitasi woman in the final TN story have the ability to create some kind of wards that keep the spirits that whisper in their dreams at bay. She could still hear/sense them whispering but they can’t get to her for vengeance. Similarly and in addition, Felassan had herbs that could keep him from dreaming most of the time, and wards that would do a good job of blocking him from the Fade when the herbs failed. It wouldn’t have been pleasant and it would still have been plenty risky, but it seemed like he could have feasibly used these measures to live a life, albeit constantly looking over his shoulder, at least for a time (this reminds me of keeping Will drugged up in Sens8 so Whispers couldn’t get to him). Modern Dalish have alluded to at least knowing of these herbs’ past existence (Mihris). I’m not sure what the exact connection is, because the dwarves were killed, and they supposedly don’t dream, so it seems like sleeping itself not specifically dreaming is the thing that makes one vulnerable to this thing, but maybe there’s something there that can be utilized or adapted. Even ‘partial cover’ would be super helpful. In emergency situations in the short-term, coffee and other mundane ways of preventing sleep are handy temporary measures, as the Carta dwarf was doing (I’m thinking about situations where an agent’s wards have dwindled and need like refreshing but they still have some distance to travel or time to wait until a mage arrives to refresh them - for example. Don’t mistake this for “we’ll stop him by drinking coffee”… writing that sentence made me laugh). Key to the defense here btw however for me is the fact that Adralla of Vyrtantium, you know, as in who made the Litany of Adralla, discovered or formulated a defense against dream-walkers. Get Adralla’s research, stat.

Along with the sleep-killing, the other major obstacle imo is his freezing ability. The Inquisition are implied to have discovered some kind of knowledge-y MacGuffin. As above with Talk-no-Justu, some amount of MacGuffin-ness is inevitable I think. Again this isn’t a criticism, if it’s well-written and executed well, I have no problem with it. In an ideal universe for me the MacGuffin includes some kind of defense against or way of negating the effect of his freezing powers. Notably, there is a precedent for something of this sort in the lore. In the MotA DLC, we gather jewels and reconstruct the Dagger of the Four Winds. With this dagger, the pirates who are petrified stone statues can be unpetrified. Interestingly, the Fog Dancers (who live in the north, where we’re going..!) have a story called the March of the Four Winds. Perhaps it’s connected, and the Fog Dancers know how to counter petrification. Even if they don’t, example MacGuffins like the Dagger clearly exist in Thedas, so it’s not much of a stretch to suggest that we could engineer a means of protection against this power. Or if not protection, perhaps a way of reversing? It’s debated if the Fog Warriors’ fog is magic or alchemy - if they also have the means to counteract petrification, it could also be either one. I like the scene in Narnia when Aslan breathes life and motion back into the frozen victims of the White Witch.

His true name. Not sure what exactly all that was about, but in that one story the Qunari allude to the fact that his names that we know aren’t true or aren’t quite true. They seem to be looking for information on his supposed-”true name”. Not sure if it’s just Qunari philosophy or Rasaan being Rasaan, but they believe that with this true name they can track a person back through the best and the worst of themselves, find flaws, exploit weaknesses, know what they had failed to be. A common fictional trope is I Know Your True Name. It’s like functional magic whereby knowing the secret true name of someone grants you control over them or some similar great advantage. I’m very intrigued by this idea, what it could mean and the potential here. “Find the Dread Wolf’s true name” quest arc?

Bring the full might of nations and their armies to bear. The idea of entire nations standing against him is already hinted at. This is a purely hypothetical situation, as the devs might not even have us fighting him, or the final battle could easily be against a possible true or bigger antagonist. Consider though a final assault launched on the located ritual site, with our main squad as the tip of the spear and being the ones who facilitate/convey the means to disrupt it to the center, or the entrance to the center (they would also inevitably be the ones who fight the final battle against him personally at the ritual-site-proper, where I imagine he’d be, trying to complete the cast or ready to do his thing when it’s done). Even with hundreds of followers and some mages, can he really defend the site against entire armies of multiple Thedosian nations, especially when he himself is mostly-occupied at the site-proper? Especially when said armies are peppered or reinforced/led by ‘special forces’ like the organizations I’ve named above?

A final battle against the literal Dread Wolf: I’m actually not worried about this. His form is mighty and dangerous, and I know that in-universe it would post a massive threat. I’m also aware of gameplay/story segregation and how our MCs in these games are invariably special or especially heroic compared to normies. But the fact is we and other people defeat giant beasts in this setting - Archdemons, high dragons, Blighted dragons, hyped up power-goons like ancient Magisters, ancient powerful demons like the Forbidden ones - on the regular. I am not worried about a squad of 4 wailing on a giant wolf. In addition, if there is a true or bigger antagonist, we might never even have to fight the DW.

On a meta level there’s going to be a combat-based game with bosses and a Player Vs Antagonist arc, and it has to be fun to play, have an engaging plot, be of a certain length. However it works out in the end in terms of him succeeding/not succeeding (btw us not succeeding, the ‘you failed despite how hard you tried to keep a cap on this thing’-style narrative, has value as a different kind of story which is cool - see DA2), the characters are still going to try. If he just freezes the PC on first meeting or at any subsequent meeting, how is there going to be a game/plot..? Is the PC never going to sleep for the in-universe duration of their campaign, or are we just supposed to buy that he had the ability to kill them in their sleep for the whole game all along and not once decided to use it to stop them? Solas isn’t stupid! I love a ‘desperate odds, how are we gonna do this, the villain is so incredibly powerful, this feels hopeless’-narrative, and don’t doubt that it’s gonna be in there, but it also has to be sensible - believable. We need to feel both threatened and also that if we try, we might be able to do something. It’s a balance to be struck. There’s going to be something, some kind of creative writing around his power gains or limit on it, some series of steps the PC will be investigating and attempting to take, or else the premise is nonsensical - even if the story has him always succeeding and even in the case of a true or larger threat.

The need to ensure permadeath/permadefeat: In the case of redeem universes, this is only a possible potential scenario that I’m posing to explore. I am not asserting nor wishing that this will happen. If even in those universes we fail in the attempt to convince him, or outright cannot convince him to stop, and in a general sense if there’s no other way (and disregarding for this one point/scenario here the possibility that for plot reasons his plans actually railroad to success - which I acknowledge is entirely possible - and he then dies or something as a result) - the first of his people do not die so easily. He’s not so far from the first of his people. He is an ancient and they were immortal. Flemythal’s various survivals over the years is an example of what might be possible. Plus if he was originally a spirit, or given the ancients’ spirity-ness, consider how when spirits ‘die’ they return to the Fade, and if the idea that gave it form is strong or other spirits have memories of it, something similar might reform one day. In this specific scenario, we need to be sure that killing him is a true permadeath, or that else that the means of disabling/depowering him is permanent. I don’t like the idea and don’t like the Rite of Tranquility and what it does to mages, it’s abhorrent, but this is a specific hypothetical scenario and I’m thinking about all options. If he can’t be swayed and can’t be truly killed, maybe making him Tranquil is an effective means of neutralizing the threat. Even it can be reversed however, so in this specific hypothetical scenario I’m curious what they’ll do here/how it would go down. Maybe he can’t even be made Tranquil, or would need to be killed in the Fade and then made Tranquil ‘twice-over’ kinda by doing it irl too? Interesting thought.

#dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #dragon age #tevinter nights #solas #bioware #tevinter nights spoilers #tevinter nights spoiler #video games #mj meta #felassan #Best Elf #Gryff Lavellan

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moonstruckwytch · 3 years

Text

So I was inspired by @birkholtzlovebot posting her first fic the other night and I accidentally wrote 4k of nurseydex their senior year after the first loss with Dex as captain. No one has read it but me and it’s mostly unedited but I enjoyed writing it and figured the hivemind would like to read it... so....

Full fic under the cut because like I said it’s 4k and no one needs all of that on their dash

Dex’s weekend is not off to a great start.

Samwell’s first loss with him as captain happens on Friday night in Boston. It’s not even a close game. Sure, they shut out BU’s team in the first period, but then one of their guys took out Tango and that knocked Whiskey off his game, and the next thing Dex knew he was walking back to the locker room and they’d lost 4 – 0.

He’s worried about Chowder. Hopes that he knows it wasn’t his fault. Needs him to know that. Dex knows it’s his fault. He’s the captain and he’s responsible for the team. He should have kept it together and kept BU away from C entirely. Walking back to the bus back to their hotel he can practically hear Jack’s voice in his head telling him that’s not true, but the nasty comments coming from his own internal voice are louder.

He really should rally the team, give some kind of pep talk, but he can’t bring himself to. So instead he sits silently on the bus, headphones in but not playing anything, until Nursey appears next to him. Ford walks past, gives him a sad smile, and when she and Nursey nod at each other Dex thinks it’s going to be a long evening.

Nursey, blessedly, leaves him alone on the 15 minute ride to the Marriott, or Hilton or whatever chain they’re staying at, and Dex pulls himself together long enough to hand out keys with Hall and Murray, who really don’t seem any more disappointed in him than usual. Eventually he’s alone in the lobby, holding the key to his own room, and Nursey’s gone ahead with Chowder, even though they’re staying in the same room, so Dex turns to his coaches.

“I’m sorry –“ he’s got more, but Hall cuts him off.

“Dex, you all played a good game. There’s nothing for you to apologize for. Not to us, or to the boys.” Murray nods in agreement, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Go take a shower and get some sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.” Murray’s tone brokers no argument, and his eyes are sympathetic, so Dex nods to the two of them before heading to the elevators alone, still feeling the weight of the loss on his shoulders.

When he gets to the room and lets himself in, his first step is to drop his overnight bag at the foot of the bed closer to the window. Technically it’s the bed Nursey prefers, and usually Dex lets him have it, but he wants to be as far from the door as possible tonight. If Nursey were here it might be an argument, or he might just let it lie, a concession to the fact that Dex just lost his first game in charge of the team. He texts Nurse and C to let them know that he’s in the room and gonna take a shower, so Nursey either needs to come back now or in 40 minutes.

About 30 seconds elapse before there’s a knock on the adjoining room door he didn’t notice was there. When he swings it open, he’s face to face with Derek M. Nurse, and if that would usually be enough to set his heart racing, it’s not doing much tonight.

See, on top of the responsibilities of being captain, the stress of senior year as a comp-sci major, and the sheer terror of figuring out what comes after graduation, Dex has a less-than-small crush on Nursey. He’d come to this realization sometime over the last summer (just after Nursey waved goodbye at the South Station Amtrak stop when Dex dropped him off in May if he’s being honest with himself) and has been managing it ever since. Their friendship has gotten better – he feels comfortable calling them best friends now even – but he’s pretty sure the revelation of his feelings would send everything crashing right back down to where they started.

So, while Dex has a massive crush on his d-man partner, and usually being just inches from his face would turn him into a blushing, stammering mess, nothing is getting through the fog of the game just yet. He leaves the door open, ad goes to take his shower, leaving Nursey standing where he is.

He steps into the shower and turns the temperature as hot as he can get it to go, and if he cries a little under the water, no one else needs to know about it. And 40 minutes later, he feels cleaner. Not any better, but at least he doesn’t smell like game sweat and his gear anymore. Throwing on an old t-shirt and a pair of Samwell sweats, he remerges into the room and finds Nursey and Chowder on the bed closer to the door, both with wet hair and wearing similar t-shirt and sweat combos. Chowder has his Sharks hoodie on.

Nursey looks up at him, smirking.

“Finally,” he says “me and C both managed to shower in his room with how long you were taking. I thought we might have to save you from drowning.”

When Dex doesn’t respond to the chirp, doesn’t even tell him to ‘fuck off, Nurse’ his face goes softer. And maybe Dex wants Nursey to look at him like that sometimes, but right now it just makes him feel fragile.

“Hey, are you okay? You know how that went down wasn’t your fault.” Nursey is speaking softly, like he’s trying not to spook Dex, and that, that just makes Dex mad. But when he turns, rounds on Nursey with something sharp on his tongue, he finds the concerned faces of his two best friends in the whole world looking at him and he just, breaks down.

Dex sits down heavily on his bed for the night, trying to take steadying breaths that he can hear come out shaky and ragged, too loud in the now very quiet room.

Immediately Chowder is at his side, pulling him in tight for a hug, leaving no room for Dex to even move his arms to hug back.

“Dex! Dex it’s okay. It’s not the first time we’ve lost, and it won’t be the last. We can’t win every game. I’m sorry I didn’t block more of their shots.” He sounds frustrated with himself at that last part.

Chowder’s earnestness is endearing, and it would be easier to let it lie, but the loss isn’t his fault, and Dex can’t let him think it is.

“’S not your fault C. I lost control of the situation. I should have been more on top of it, done my job as captain.”

And at that, Nursey comes over to his other side. He seems less than sure of how to fit himself into this equation, eventually settling for resting an awkward hand on Dex’s shoulder. Fleetingly Dex worries that Nursey isn’t comfortable with his breakdown, and for a moment that comingles with a wish that Nursey would hug him the way Chowder is, which is just even more pain on top of an already bad night, so Dex shoves that to the side and figures he’ll deal with that later. When he tunes back into the situation around him again, Nursey is talking.

“Dex…” Nursey’s tone is soft again. “you’re not responsible for how the whole team plays. If BU hadn’t taken out Tango Whiskey still might have had an off day. It’s not your fault.”

And then Dex remembers Tango, slammed into the boards by a dude half a foot taller than him. He’d been helped off the ice and not allowed back into the rink for the rest of the game.

“Oh god, Tango. I didn’t even ask if he’s okay.” Dex groans, feeling worse by the second.

“It’s okay. I checked on him already. He’ll be fine, no concussion or anything.” Nursey soothes.

Dex swipes at his face, not wanting to let the tears pricking at his eyes fall. He knows neither of his friends will judge him if he cries, but old habits die hard and he’s never been one for public emotions other than anger. Call him repressed if you will, he’ll admit it. He presses the heels of his hands into his eye sockets, hoping that will help. He doesn’t know how long they sit like that.

Chowder and Nursey seem to be having some sort of silent conversation above his head, and the next thing he knows Chowder is pressing a soft kiss to his hair and unwinding his arms from around Dex’s shoulders.

“I’m gonna go call Cait,” he says. “You should get some sleep, Dex.” He gives a pointed look to Nursey and leaves their room, the adjoining door shutting with a click.

Without C’s arms around him, Dex feels suddenly cold, and the room seems even more silent, his sniffling attempts to not cry that much louder. Nursey moves away from him and his heart sinks, fearing more proof that Nursey was only comforting him because Chowder was there, but he’s back in a moment. Dex hears the TV turn on and listens as Nursey flips through channels until landing on some late-night program on the history of space travel, turning the volume down low. They sit in silence for a while, listening to a monotone man drone about shuttle specs and astronaut fatality rates.

“Hey. Let’s get you into bed.” Nursey says suddenly, pulling the covers down on Dex’s bed and putting a hand on his back until he shifts so he’s sitting in the middle. Dex thinks this is going to be the end of the interaction, but then he sees Nursey grabbing the pillows off his own bed, and the blanket he always brings with him on the bus.

“Move over Poindexter,” he says, continuing with “you’re not crying yourself to sleep alone tonight. Move.” And climbing into the bed next to Dex.

“Ah, fuck.” He says immediately after he’s settled, climbing back off the bed and padding to the door to turn off the lights. Now the room is illuminated only by the glow of the TV, and when Nursey climbs back into the bed, he slips and arm around Dex’s shoulder and settles them both against the mountain of pillows he’s created behind them.

Dex goes willingly, decidedly not thinking about how he’s got his arms wrapped around Nursey’s torso, his head on Nursey’s chest, their legs tangled together. He’s not thinking about the fact that Nursey is slowly rubbing circles into his side with one hand and carding his fingers through Dex’s hair with the other. He’s not thinking about any of this, because he’s too busy crying into Nursey’s t-shirt.

Incrementally he settles down, slowly, rough sobs fading into sniffles, into low hiccups which eventually also die out. And then its just the sounds of their breathing mingling with the history channel, and Dex still doesn’t feel better necessarily, but he does feel a little calmer.

Nursey’s voice is still soft when he asks the question, almost like he’s scared of what Dex’s answer might be. “Do you want me to stay here tonight, or get back in my own bed?” Dex just wraps his arms tighter around Nursey in response, not trusting his mouth and his brain to work together well enough to avoid telling Nursey how he feels here and now.

He falls asleep like that, Nursey’s warm arms still around him.

---------------------------------------------

When Dex wakes up the next morning, much more sun is coming through the windows than there should be. He groans and reaches for his phone before registering the fact that his pillow is Nursey’s chest, and Nursey’s arms are solidly wrapped around him, holding him where he is. The next realization is that Nursey is also awake and watching him. That fact will have to be tucked away for examination later.

“Nursey… what time is it?”

“Good morning to you too Dexy. It’s about 9:30 right now. I figured you could use the sleep.”

Dex groans. “We missed the bus. I lost my first game as captain and we missed the bus. Hall and Murray should just replace me now.”

Nursey’s arms tighten around him for just a split second. “I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you.”

“What… what does that mean?”

Before Nursey can answer the (very good, very reasonable) question, a knock from the adjoining door, and Chowder’s voice.

“Nursey? Are you guys up? We’re coming in!”

“We? Who is we?” Dex asks, but he doesn’t have to wait long before he finds out. Chowder pops his head into the room and is immediately followed by Lardo.

“Dude” she greets him “rough night.” She nods to Nursey, a knowing look in her eye, and only then does Dex realize that he is still in bed with Nursey holding him. He extricates himself as gracefully as possibly, pointedly ignoring the pout Nursey gives him, and goes to hug the former manager.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“C texted me. Told me that you’d lost, and it was your first. I called Hall and Murray and convinced them to let me keep you three for the day, with the promise that I’d have you back on campus by 5 tonight.”

“I still… what?”

Lardo looks at her phone. “I’d love to give you a deep explanation, but we’re going to be late if you don’t hurry up, so get dressed. Come on C.”

As she heads to the door, she looks back. “We’re getting brunch. It’s not Jerry’s but it’s almost as good. You have 15 minutes.”

With that, Lardo and Chowder head out to wait in the Lobby, and Nursey and Dex prepare to face the day.

Face washed, teeth brushed, and wearing everything except something warm, Dex regards his captain’s hoodie with suspicion. He’s still not sure he deserves to wear it this morning, and he could just ask to trade Nursey for the day. But while he’s considering, Nursey takes it from his hands and sticks it over his head, looking almost unbearably fond when Dex’s face reappears through the collar. Yet another thing to think about later. Once Dex has his arms situated, Nursey pats him on the chest right above the C and grabs their bags.

When they meet Lardo and Chowder in the lobby, they’re herded out to a familiar looking jeep, which Dex is pretty sure belongs to Holster. Something about Lardo being in charge for the day feels calming, and he feels a little more settled in his own skin, though he’s still concerned about how the rest of the team is handling the loss.

A five-minute drive and a little bit of Nursey’s infuriatingly upbeat music (who on earth handed him the aux?) later, they’re parked outside what looks like the Boston version of Jerry’s. This is to say that it looks like it’s seen better days, might have margaritas on the menu, and definitely does the sombrero thing on birthday’s despite the fact that it’s not primarily a Mexican restaurant. Dex see’s a couple familiar faces waiting for them.

“Brahs!” Shitty is emphatic as ever, pulling each of them into a tight hug that somehow smells residually of weed, despite the fact that Dex has been around him long enough to know that he’s totally sober at the moment. For one, he’s fully dressed, though that might be a condition of the fact that they’re going to a restaurant. Holster and Ransom offer him fist bumps and matching commiserating smiles, and he wants to ask how they dealt with their first loss, but he’s being herded, along with the rest of them, into the place by Lardo.

They end up at a round table booth. Dex is squished between Ransom and Nursey, Holster to Ransom’s other side, and Chowder, Lardo and Shitty on the other side of Nursey. It would feel claustrophobic with anyone else, but this is his team, his group. The only people missing are Jack and Bitty. He says so and Shitty laughs.

“Not by their own choice you know. Bitty threatened to cancel the photoshoot for the book he’s working on, and very nearly convinced Jack to take off from practice to be here.”

Dex looks at him aghast.

“We told him not to under any circumstances” Lardo pipes up from behind her menu. “But don’t be surprised if you get a phone call from both of them this evening. They’re worried – and Jack wants to talk to you.”

Dex isn’t entirely sure he’s prepared for that phone call, but it will be nice to hear from both of them. He then decides it’s now or never and turns to Ransom and Holster.

“What did you guys do when you lost your first game as captains?” he asks, because honestly, he isn’t quite sure he remembers.

“Called Jack to freak out.” Ransom says casually. “Dude was captain for 3 years, plus the Q, and the stuff with the Falcs. He knows a thing or two about losing.” Holster looks a little less pleased, but Dex knows that his rivalry with Jack is mostly superficial.

“Once we talked to Jack, we sorta just, watched sitcoms” Ransom continues. “Put together a list of the best episodes of Holster’s favorites and stayed in the attic for the day.”

Dex nods. That, makes a certain amount of sense actually. Holster jumps in.

“You probably remember Bitty sort of corralling you all that day, and stress baking. He dealt with you guys so we wouldn’t have to.”

Dex thinks about that, and hopes that Ford, Tango and Whiskey are managing the rest of the team. Especially because Nursey and Chowder are here with him. Almost as though reading his brain, Nursey speaks up.

“Just got a text from Ford. Everyone is fine. Whiskey is making muffins with Tango, and Tricky and Marsh want to know if you’re okay. Hops and Bully say hi.”

“The team will get it. First loss as captain feels like a bigger deal than it is. You feel responsible. But it’s really not your fault.” Holster says.

Chowder pipes up. “Remember how Bitty packed off to Providence the day after he lost that first game?”

Nursey presses his knee against Dex’s. “The point is, we’ve got your back, Dex.”

The rest of brunch passes in a blur. There’s eggs and hash browns, and a cinnamon roll that Dex is pretty sure is bigger than his head. Shitty orders something sweet that probably has too much alcohol in it for a Saturday morning, and they laugh, and joke and it feels like home for a while. A couple hours later the checks have been dealt with, and they’re getting ready to go their separate ways. Dex feels lighter than he has in the past 12 hours, and that’s in no small part due to the fact that he’s just missed these people. It might also have something to do with the easy way Nursey threw his arm around Dex’s shoulders in the diner, or how their knees stayed pressed together under the table.

On the 30-minute ride back to Samwell, Chowder and Lardo chat up front while Nursey sits with Dex in the back. Dex is quiet, happy to just listen to his friends and bask in the moment, but he is acutely aware of the way Nursey has inched his hand closer to Dex’s own until he’s grabbed it completely. Dex hopes he isn’t bright red at this, but doesn’t say anything – too busy running the morning through his memory, thinking and overthinking waking up in Nursey’s arms, and the fact that Nursey was just watching him.

Lardo drops them at the Haus, and after they’ve hugged her goodbye, the three of them head inside. The kitchen has cleared out except for Ford, who just nods to them, and looks pointedly at Nursey. Nursey shakes his head in response, and Dex isn’t going to press what that means at the moment. Instead he grabs Nursey’s wrist and pulls him down to the basement bungalow, and if Nursey seems surprised by this, he doesn’t say it.

“Do you mind staying? Do you have time?” Dex asks, realizing that he didn’t ask before taking up Nursey’s time.

“For you I’ve always got time, Dexy.” Nursey replies, smirking, but there’s something warm behind his eyes that Dex hasn’t noticed before. He glances to the bed, and produces his laptop from his bag.

“Movie?”

“Sure.” Nursey shrugs, and climbs up onto Dex’s bed, settling like he belongs there, and oh fuck Dex should not let his brain go down that road. Nursey looks over to see Dex staring, and pats the bed.

“You gonna join me here or stand there and stare?” and then Nursey fucking winks.

“Are you hitting on me?” Dex asks, before he can stop himself. Fuck fuck fuck fuck no don’t ask that, his brain practically screams at him.

“Nice of you to finally catch on.” Nursey laughs, and his eyes light up. “Now are you gonna join me or not?”

“Finally catching on? What?” Dex is frozen in place, not sure how to process the sudden left tilt his world seems to have taken on.

“Oh, I don’t know Dex. I’ve only just slept with you last night, spent all of brunch trying to make you laugh, and held your hand the whole way back from Boston. And that’s just the past 24 hours.”

Dex tries to cast his mind back over the past month or so, trying to see if there’s a pattern he’s missed in Nursey’s behavior. Has he been so caught up in making sure Nursey never found out about his feelings he completely missed them being reciprocated? There was the time Nursey brought him coffee in the comp-sci lab, for a full week when he was pulling all nighters trying to get ahead early in the semester. The time Nursey stole his hoodie and wouldn’t give it back. The time, times, Nursey has made sure he actually eats when he gets lost in a code, so focused that if Nursey puts something in his hand and tells him to eat it, he will. He’s lucky Nursey hasn’t taken advantage of that to comedic effect. There’s more he’s sure but that seems to be enough proof to him, and he’s been standing here staring at Nursey with an open mouth for too long already. Dex scrambles for something eloquent to say to respond, but what comes out instead is.

“Can I kiss you?”

Now it’s Nursey’s turn to freeze. It’s a much shorter moment than the one Dex had, and he covers admirably well, smirking and replying with “I thought you’d never ask.” Before patting next to him on the bed again.

Dex doesn’t waste any time with that, climbing up next to Nursey and getting in his space. Once they’re face to face however, he’s not really sure what to do. It’s Nursey who leans in first, tilting his head to meet the angle Dex is at, grabbing one of Dex’s hands with his own, the other coming up to gently cup Dex’s jaw. Once their lips touch Dex feels a little like he can breathe again, and it’s slow, and soft, and overall, just, nice. It’s not Dex’s first kiss, not even his first kiss with a boy, but it’s certainly the one that’s felt the best so far. When they eventually break apart, he’s pretty much ready to keep doing just that for the next month.

“So. Movie?” Nursey asks, smirking at the blush Dex can feel spreading across his face, heating up his ears and flushing down his neck. Dex takes a breath and decides to be brave, however.

“I think I’d like to just do that again if you don’t mind.” He says, and Nursey blushes this time, nodding and already leaning in.

Dex’s weekend did not start out great. But it’s certainly getting better.

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