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eluxcastar · 4 months

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With a yandere s/o

── ୨୧：ky luc, urd geales, rígr stafford, shikama dōji x reader (separate)

୨୧﹑synopsis :: yandere s/o ideas let's gooo

୨୧﹑genre :: Idk tbh

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, repeated themes of obsession, yandere, unhealthy relationships, imagined relationships (rígr), it's implied shikama does a lot to them 💀, mostly proofread

୨୧﹑words :: 1.2k

I had this idea a while ago but I couldn't be bothered until now (<- me from literally over a year ago)

I FISHED THIS OUTTA THE DARKEST CORNERS OF THE DRAFTS TO FEED Y'ALL I can't even believe I'm about to do this it literally had green dividers from my THIRD Tumblr theme 😭 I wanna post more ONS content again though so expect it here and there. requests are a VERY hard maybe

── ୨୧：ky luc

Ky is entirely unbothered by this little arrangement you've made, letting you do as you please around him and indulging you in some of your little gestures of affection, all in exchange for keeping him fed straight from the source. You can sense Ky is not fully invested in this relationship-- may not even see it in the same light that you do. How dare he act so casually toward you. You wanted him to be less formal, but Ky is always brushing you off as 'livestock' that he claims to somewhat fancy, though not for anything but the taste of your blood.

In truth, he finds you quite strange. He has warned you before that you better not dare be too bold and involve yourself too personally in his affairs publicly. He's quick to remind you how easy it would be to kill you, all done with a hand to your throat and the blade forming around his hand as he offers to fulfil that promise immediately. He's noticed how overeager you are, and he almost doesn't like it. Ky doesn't trust you on your own; he's put off by how strangely you act. He's tried to tell you a million times he does not and cannot love you, but each time, you go crawling back to him, begging him to continue your deal.

Ky has figured out he can use your own adoration and idolisation of him against you because you will keep falling for the things he says for now. He knows he can offer even shallow acts only vaguely reminiscent of lovers, and you'd do it in a heartbeat. You're somehow so stubborn yet so easy to control, and he takes advantage of that to the full extent, watching you run around like a headless chicken trying to please him. It's entertaining to know you still somehow think this is moving you up some kind of ladder closer to him accepting your love without a deal.

── ୨୧：urd geales

Urd has developed a growing tolerance for you ever since you first appeared and kept appearing in the places he was going you could access. You seemed too nervous to talk every time he approached, so he had to wait until you began your advances, and once they started, they didn't stop. He hated to admit that a part of him was strangely enamoured by the idea that maybe if he let your infatuation fester enough, you'd be the one person who would never leave, but he also knows you're extremely abusive at times.

You can't hurt him, nor could you dream of it, but it was saying too much that hurt him. You smothered him, babied him for a time and swore you'd hurt anyone who just so much as brushed against him too harshly for your tastes. It is uncontrollable, and Urd never knows if you'll go through with it. Urd tries to calm you down, but you've managed to convince yourself he's too nice, and this is how you'll 'protect' him from the world. You suffocate Urd so much that he doesn't know if you still think of him as an adult or as a child.

Urd requires your utmost attention, and there are many times he's considered ending your life so that you can't be a bother to the peace he's created, but he keeps getting drawn back. Urd knows if he leaves you to your devices and allows you to fuss over him, you'll be at ease, even if you seem to want to control him. If Urd lets you fuss, you stay put, and if you stay put, you won't leave to go anywhere. For a while, you'll remain with him, and he can subject himself to the headache for the reward.

── ୨୧：rígr stafford

This relationship you have with him always seems to go unnoticed. He ignores you all the time, he's never around, and he never pays even a hint of attention to you. You're glad to find yourself locked up because, for the first time in a while, he looks back at you with all of his attention. It's just like how you imagined it to be intense and with a strange interest that perhaps doesn't belong.

You're so glad he's finally started paying attention to you. This is much better than when you borrow his things and imagine him, the way he'd scold you for it, the disappointment you would think was visible on his face.

"I took more than just that." You confess just as he opens his mouth to speak and don't even allow him a chance to ask what you are doing. You keep idolising this man; you likely always will, adoring him and holding him on the pedestal he deserves. He can only shake his laugh at you and say something about how this is inevitable. He does this on purpose. He runs a cult. Everybody starts somewhere.

You have to hold back losing it on him because he doesn't seem to understand you are long past the isolation period of thinking him a God. You used to believe that, but not anymore. You used to feel dirty every time you took up his time, like the greatest sin you've committed, and you still revel in it. You are the mortal who dragged him from his place, and you will never truly allow him to leave you behind if he should leave this world. You must keep leaving him gifts and perhaps borrowing his personal items right under his nose. Couples share everything, don't they?

── ୨୧：shikama dōji

You're such a mild inconvenience to his plans that he almost doesn't even notice after a while, letting you indulge yourself as you ignore every single boundary he sets out for you. The only reason he sits you down and scolds you is that you got too close to something he's not eager to share. You follow his word like law. Once he figures out there is nothing you wouldn't do for him, there is seldom a thing he won't do to you. You are his everything, and not in a good way; his plaything is a better description.

He finds your infatuation with him to be of enough interest as it is, but you also pose a very good catalyst for all of his other questions about humans as well. At his fingertips is someone who would do anything that he asks in order to please him. You had better be good and do whatever he wants, and you might be rewarded for it, and though he's quite selfish to do this only for him, he is very good at pleasing you for your troubles. He won't make any exception for you, not when he's prizing you above the rest, which he reminds you is not to be treated lightly. It isn't fair for only you to get happiness, is it?

If keeping you on a chain makes you behave, even if you begin to grow bored of your obsession with him (which he doubts you will), he's become far too interested in what made you this way. He wants to know how far he can push, how long it will take you to fall out of this 'love', how much he can taunt you and use you for his own sick amusement. Not for the same reasons as you, but your reasons certainly make it easier.

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justaredheadf1fan · 11 months

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High hopes in Monaco after the cancellation of Imola

Heya!

Well, I was originally planning on writing last week after the announcement of the GP in Imola being cancelled due to the floods going on in the Emilia Romagna region, but between my shitty shifts and exhaustion, I couldn't even think about it.

It was a sad thing, but it was the necessary decision. For once, the FIA was quick to decide what was best and also for once, they made the right choice. Just wish people in the area were all okay...

This weekend I'm watching it all after work, so yeah I'll be late once again. On another note, we started this race weekend with the news of Honda teamming up with Aston Martin starting 2026 and rumors about Yuki being a possibility to join Alonso. That would be funny tbh. Also, Mercedes FINALLY got rid of the "no sidepods" concept on the car. Really hope this levels things, at least a tiny bit (I'm expecting no miracles).

Anyway, onto the actual purpose of this post, so I'm starting at last.

Press conference - Thursday

First press round and not really anything interesting except for Yuki's take on the floodings in Italy. I'm here just waiting for the second round to start so that I can watch the chaos unfold 🤣

Chaotic Sharl is on and I'm here for it, "Hello, Lewis" sounded like the funniest shit in the world with that laughter of his. Seriously, I can't 😗 I do love those Lewis-Sharl interactions, they're so cute seriously and they'd make an insane duo, lots of fun stuff would be sent our way for sure.

Piarles clowning together about the football match a few days ago and how they just clashes into each other despite being in the same team. Really, boys? 🥲

Do people still think, given what we've seen this year so far and also last season, that Ferrari is a good choice for Lewis? I mean, yes Mercedes is not going through their best moments right now, but Ferrari? After so many disasters and making their own driver lose the chances of gaining a championship? I love Ferrari, but come on.

Free Practice 1 - Friday

Finally some movement in the streets of Monte Carlo and I'm actually thinking about all the new rumors that we might get after the race. I've been waiting for this weekend just for this 🤣

I know there have been a few Red Flags today so I'm just here waiting for them. I don't care how boring this track can get, I just love it and nothing's gonna change that. Ever.

Sid the Sloth is crying on the radio. What for? He has a fucking missile despite that much complaining and whining about it.

Not much else going on, pretty calm session for now. Apart from Sargeant having some kind of problem, nothing else to say. And I obviously spoke too soon, since Nico span a little bit too hard and fucked up his rear left tyre, causing a Yellow Flag that turned into a Red Flag. First of the day.

Sharl probably touched the wall or so, and right afterwards Albon crashed on his side, so the session was Red Flagged permanently now, with 3 minutes to go. Quiet one despite those problems, but not the worst news possible considering.

Free Practice 2 - Friday

SEB IS AT THE PADDOCK, I REPEAT, SEB IS AT THE PADDOCK 🥹 PLEASE SEB, COME BACK TO US, WE NEED YOU 😭

Besides different drivers trying out setting times and so on, there's been nothing going on. I do love that tunnel, though. That must be scary as fuck, honestly.

Aaaaand Carlos tries to goes as close to the wall as possible but crashes. Fantastic job causing another Red Flag. Quite a few drivers have gone very, very close but have managed to get out unscathed. I guess it's damn luck (on top of skill obviously, they're going over 200kph).

Commentators are talking about the future 2026 PUs and honestly, if the regulations for that year are as bad as the ones introduced in 2022, this will just get worse by then.

Maybe tomorrow something else will happen, especially during Quali, which I'll obviously watch late.

Free Practice 3 - Saturday

Well, I already know what happened in Quali today, but just gonna watch in order first so that I can finish this one post, I don't want extra tabs open on my browser right now, it's been a tough day at work 🤪

So Estie Bestie stopped in the middle of the tunnel (on the side anyway), but managed to get back to the pit lane, so at least nothing scary going on.

Wasn't Laurent Mekkies supposed to be in Alpha Tauri by now? Or did I miss something? I keep seeing him on the Ferrari pit wall 🤔

Honestly, nothing going on in FP3 so I was just watching memes on IG the whole time. Oh Jesus, and Lewis against the wall all of a sudden?! What the hell. That car being moved by the crane.... Was that really necessary, taking it so high!?

Red Flagged session so that means I'm gonna go watch Quali finally.

Peace out!

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wongyuuu · 1 year

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Boys Planet | Episodes 5&6

Finally, the second round of performances. I thought that the bad performances would have stopped in round one. However, here we are with more bad performances. I'm mention them from least to most liked by me, so keep that in mind.

Vocal + Rap

#4 Not Spring or Cherry Blossoms - I expected a shit show, and it was okay? I Chan did good here, his voice was really pleasant, but I don't think any of them will survive.

#3 Limousine - it was fine. Their voices were good together, but nothing much tbh. For this team too, I don't think any of them will survive

#2 Man in Love - I liked it a lot. It's weird how Taerae looks like Seokhoon, could have fooled me that he was Taerae's dad hahahaha. Is it weird that, although I'm not voting for him, I want Tae Rae to make it into the group? I think that one Taerae will survive from this group

#1 Tomboy - everyone already sort of expected this performance to be good, and it was. Props to Zhang Hao for placing first, but Gunwook was better over all (but I may be biased as he is my one pick). Everyone will survive and Gunwook will make it to top 9 and he will stay there (saying it to the universe).

Vocal + Dance

#4 Feel Special - I knew that it was going to be bad, but I didn't expect it to be this bad. Woongi carried the whole performance on his own and still didn't manage to get first place because, like I have always said, Koreans vote with their asses. The guy who placed first, I don't care enough to look for his name, was terrible in every sense of the word. He got to perform the song he wanted, feel special was his pick from the moment it was announced, and he didn't even try to pull his weight. The amount of anger I have towards this guy is not even funny. I swear to God that if I see anyone saying "he has to debut" I'll pick a fight because dude can't dance, can't sing and isn't a team player so what the fuck does he want. Woongi maybe has a chance to survive, but indont think any of the others will

#3 Butterfly - the dancing was good, as expected, but the vocal part fell short. Everyone will likely get eliminated

#2 Home - this was a very hard song to cover, seventeen sings very high, and their dances are really hard. I really like Jong Woo, I hope that he can make it all the way to the final, and if he makes de debut group I won't be angry. I think Yunseo (?) Will probably be eliminated but I hope not.

#1 Love Killa - only placing it as number one because they had no issued vocally and their dancing was good. But I would easily place home as number 1. Seowon is in risk on elimination.

Dance + Rap

#4 Rush Hour - it wasn't bad, but it also wasn't good either. I don't know. It felt like they went on stage because they had to, and that was it. They didn't look like they enjoyed it at all. I know that there was some evil editing, but some stuff weren't either, so their lack of teamwork made the whole stage sort of fall apart. Most likely, only Ricky will survive.

#3 Zoom - I thought that whoever got this song would have to work extra hard because it's not the best, you know, but they managed to make a fan stage and they really looked like they were having fun. I love Keita so much, I hope he makes it to the final lineup (it looks like he will, considering the current ranking and how much people seem to like him). Keita and Haruto will for sure survive but the others, probably not.

#2 Gang - ah this fucking meme song but they did so well. Junhyeon is so funny, and he didn't want this song at all but managed to do a great job. Seunghwan, too. He got the song no one wanted and turned it into something great. I love it. Seunghwan may survive, Junhyeon too.

#1 Law - to me, the best performance of this round. I hate how that stupid master has been crushing Yujin from episode three and how the kid looks like he's about to throw up every time he sees him but he's sooo good with his dancing and he can improve I'm his vocals, yes, but he's going through puberty so his voice is yet to change. Yedam was so good, Hanbin was great, Wang Zihao gets no screen time although he is possibly the best dance in the whole fucking show and it pisses me off. I hope he survives. Yujin and Hanbin and the only ones I'm certain of.

I want to briefly mention the ranking from last week and the 12th place announced from today.

Taerae made it into top 9 but Hui dropped out of the top 9 and that worries me. I don't think he will have the same arc as Yujin and he won't make it into the final lineup. I think a lot of people voted for him as a filler vote.

Jiwoong also dropped a little in ranking. However, he is still the top 9. I think he also may have had a lot of filler votes

Jay is no longer in the top 9. He dropped to 12th. Like Hui and Jiwoong, he probably got a lot of filler votes, but now that things are narrowing down, he lost those votes. It happens. If he dropped, there's a chance Gunwook will be in the top 9.

I will never shut up about Gun Wook in this show, okay? I want him to make it, so just deal with it.

#boys planet #mnet boys planet #boysplanet #boys planet mnet

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awek-s-archived · 1 year

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i started following you recently during the whole twt/tumblr situation and i’d like to say you have such an impressive mindset when it comes to tackling people who approach you that way. maturity is such a rare occurrence these days and i am glad to see so many people among your friends and other accounts here utilise it. on a lighter note i would like to announce my friend was a managing staff & filled in for one of the dance troops with the sabers in jungkook & fahad al qubaisi’s dreamers performance and she was so happy to be able to work with him 🥺 i’m extremely proud of her because she’s always handled a lot of events & organized them (ever since highschool) so it’s like a mom moment seeing her take part in such a huge occasion like the world cup; despite me not being a huge fan of football/soccer or kpop. and it just makes me extremely happy seeing her happy about what she’s passionate for and the absolute joy in her eyes when she met people she admired was heartwarming. i hope kids these days realise that it’s okay to not be able to experience something for themselves yet still be happy for their friends & vice versa. you can be happy experiencing or partaking in something that is special to you without your friends by your side and still have their support. the whole streaming and voting argument stating that that’s what gets these musicians to be popular is like saying that i am to be credited for my friend’s achievements despite me just being there to support her through it all; not only is that statement undermining their hard work and talent but also insinuating me riding on their success as if it were mine to gain popularity or approval. and forcing someone else to do the same makes you come off as even more shallow of a person, not a supportive and loving one.

hi -- thank you so much first of all! it feels really weird to know that not a lot of adult people seem to be that mature in these spaces but i do try to surround myself with them as much as i can (as long as i think they're actually nice people, and there are plenty around who aren't). i'd be happy any time to rec any people i'm friends/mutuals with that i think are very intelligent and mature and also permanently losing their minds over their interests on here <3

i'm so happy for your friend!!! that's a huuuge achievement and i'm always happy to see people finally realising their dreams and furthering their careers like that!!! i have a few friends in events who have gone quite far as well and you do swell with pride at that kind of thing. it makes me more excied to reach a point in my life when i achieve something that significant in my career as well!

and you're so right, i do hope kids (and adults alike tbh) will understand this concept but i think that they're too busy taking that achievement for their own because of the support. i've always said (about the popularity of the piece of media in particular) that if that media didn't exist then there would be nothing to support, so at the end of the day mass-voting or mass-streaming or any kind of mass-consuming it doesn't mean anything. it's not organic. and if you've been in that position yourself you'd know that while it feels good at the beginning it soon becomes expected and doesn't have the same effect anymore. i'm 100% sure it means nothing to them after a certain point.

anyway, you're completely right!!!! i'm glad to see someone else sharing that view particularly since a lot of ppl are reluctant to talk about it at all -- one thing abt this website/app is that false positivity thrives in a lot of circles so any kind of serious discussion like this tends to be painted as negative and avoided. thank u!!!!

#asks

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vitruvianmanbara · 4 months

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what are ur favorite jo malone scents? i want to try their perfumes but idk where to start

I haven't had the chance to try most of them, but Wood Sage & Sea Salt and Oud & Bergamot are my favorites, and the only ones I own actual bottles of!

Four main things to know about Jo Malone colognes:

Their fragrances are beautiful and well-composed, but not very daring and a bit linear (i.e., the scent doesn't change much as you wear it)

They work really well layered, in fact the brand encourages it - some people have mixed feelings about that but imo it's fun to play around

Their longevity & projection isn't very strong (your mileage may vary depending on skin chemistry)

They lean expensive! 🫰💸

Not all bad things tbh, but I think it's important to know that going in so you can manage expectations (and decide how much you want to spend for the experience).

Wood Sage & Sea Salt was my first bottle purchase as a proper adult, I've been wearing it since before I started caring about identifying notes or curating a scent wardrobe, so if I'm being honest it's familiar to me to the point where I have a hard time picking out the notes...she just smells like her own thing to me atp you know? I'd say the draw for me is that after the initial burst of citrus, it has this addictive clean muskiness to it that I never get tired of. Truly unisex, refreshing, comforting, and works well in every season! Easily my #1 pick for a first sample.

Oud & Bergamot is exactly what it says on the bottle, and a great introduction to oud scents if you haven't tried one before. Lots of ouds can skew a little mossy & almost green mold-y smelling but this one is really gorgeous and clean...it kinda ruined other ouds for me lol. Deliciously woody, unisex but a bit masculine, kind of serious. As you saw sometimes I throw it in my bag because it focuses me up lol. I love layering this with WS&SS to make it a touch more playful & adding a masculine edge to it. I don't encourage placing too much stock in whether people say a perfume is a compliment grabber, but I literally always get compliments when I layer those two - the citruses & woods play so well together!

Here's some quick impressions of other ones I've smelled in case that helps inform your picks!

Wild Bluebell - floral, slightly juicy, clean musk. It's pleasant but interesting enough for the price point imo

Silver Birch & Lavender - mixed feelings, I stole a spritz off my brother's gf to layer with Oud & Bergamot while in hot sunny Florence this past September and found the combination so refreshing & sexy that I ordered a larger sample size...trying it again in winter unfortunately gives me mall Abercrombie or Hollister vibes. I do like that the lavender is fresh and woody though and that it leans a little masculine too. I'll definitely be trying it again in summer!

154 - a little spicy, a little patchouli...a little more of a mature scent imo. Honestly can't remember too much about this one, I got it for my mom for her birthday this year and she loves it.

Lime Basil & Mandarin is another one I've smelled and found nice, but it's been ages since I've smelled that one - mentioning it anyway because it's one of their more popular perfumes!

Hope this helps! ☺️

#fragrance #tldr try ws&ss #I actually put a spritz of that over my kiehl's today bc I love how the musks smell together!

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fizzingwizard · 8 months

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goodness why is sims coming out with a pool kit now?? summer is almost over wtf. i really expected one in june but *crickets* whatever i bet they'll do halloween in february

there is a cafe i like which is conveniently very close to work, but i just found out they're closing on saturday. so today i went to have a last treat there. but tbh i stopped going in recent years. when covid happened and business were hit so bad, a lot changed their menus. some just upped prices but a lot did that and cut costs by changing the menu to be pricier for less. this cafe was no different. pretty much they just stopped serving anything i wanted at least for what they were charging for it. today was only the second time i've gone in about a year. almost 600 yen for some ice cream and cereal and like four slices of banana. at least give me the whole banana for that price lol. i bought it anyway because i do reeeeally like their ice cream but yeah it's pretty ridiculous. so not much of a loss. especially since there's another of the exact same cafe across the street bahahaha

now ranting about work commence...

covid is back! not that it ever left...

both of my coteachers were out sick mon and tues. one with covid, the other something else. among the other staff, one other teacher is out with covid, two others are out sick, and two others aren't sick but were assigned observations at different schools on certain days this week. this happened last year too and i really don't understand why, if we're so badly understaffed, the observations aren't just rescheduled so those teachers can stay here. it's not like the schools they're going to have to do anything special for them. they're just going to watch the regular classes.

so on monday i had our one sub in my room. the third co-teacher's role was a rotation of random teachers from another close school, who came in and out basically every hour. they are very nice, but they don't know the routine or the kids. that day was mostly okay, exhausting, but i got everything done, mostly because of the sub who is awesome and was a full time teacher before this year so she knows what to do really well. still I had to write most of the kids notebooks by myself, in Japanese, before two p.m. usually we have till 4, and there's nap/prep time between 2-4 so sit down and do them. until 2 we have all the kids and it's teaching time so trying to write notes for all the kids to take home before two by myself was hard. the sub helped with the few that are ok to be written in english though.

tuesday was hellish. didn't have the sub because she was needed in another class. so it was me, that random rotation of other school's teachers, plus my manager and her assistant coming in and out. it wa just a constant ricochet of people it felt like xP manager and assistant were on the phone half the time and talking to each other about admin stuff. not to say they weren't helpful, they definitely were, and it would have been much tougher without them. I didn't have to write notebooks, because one of the other school's teachers did them. (which i'm confused about because i thought someone not from our school wasn't allowed to write notebooks. but tbh policy has become very murky due to the constant understaffing. i shouldn't really have let the sub help with notebooks yesterday either, or with lunch, but i literally didn't have anyone else. what am i supposed to do? technically i can do all the notebooks, although i don't know when, but it isn't possible for me to both hand out lunches and double check myself on the lunch list at the same time. that's the whole point of two people doing it, so a second pair of eyes can catch a mistake before it happens.)

even so, i still ended up writing two of them. the reason is the poor teacher who helped, she was great, but of course she has a lot of her own work to do, so when it was time for her to leave she just had to leave, even though it was the middle of my day. and since she's not used to our routine there were no checks in place except myself. i checked everything and discovered one unwritten notebook and one that was missing completely. i found it and wrote both. i also found a kid's missing smock and dealt with three pee accidents (but my poor coworker in a different class had like a pee apocalypse, like eight or ten kids had accidents in the same day - they just got back from summer break so i think they're just shocked and regressing.) and i took care of my kid's missing futon, and just... the list goes on. also the kids were like, what's going on, how come we've got all these random people, where are the usual teachers? most were pretty fine overall, but it meant the sensitive ones only wanted my attention and i had to do everything regarding them, while also leading the class because the helpers didn't know what to do. also having no coworkers at school meant our cleaning duty was all on me, so i cleaned the entire bathroom both days by myself. (sub was awesome and helped by cleaning my classroom for me on monday.)

but what's difficult to explain is the hard part isn't just what happened, but the randomness of it. when you have a routine, you know whose role is what, and when to check and who to check with. when it's all up in the air like this and i'm the only one who knows how things are supposed to go, then i have to think of everything. there's no one to check me. on the one hand im proud of myself because somehow i did it. but it was really really hard. and it's very physical too. my legs and back are so sore, almost like in my first year before i got more flexible lol. when i walked into the staffroom on tues at 2:30 after finishing the bathroom, my manager and another coworker looked over and were like "otsukareeee are you okaaay what a day!" and seriously yeah it was. like getting hit by a truck. actually not to be dramatic but i kept thinking this is what the start of a mental breakdown feels like... it literally felt like my head was gonna break. i dont know how else to explain it. just stress overload. but i really appreciated the uplifting words my coworkers said to me. everyone was really understanding about how tough the past two days have been. and i kept my temperament even. im especially proud of that. im not super great with stress lol. ive worked hard in my adult life to get better, but i'm a very hard worker and when there are expectations of me that i can't meet for reasons beyond my control (like having to take care of a whole class of two year olds and do the work of three regular teachers almost by myself), i feel like i'm drowning. but although i was tired i didn't ever feel frustrated, because we had a similar incident a few months ago where i was alone in my class as far as regular teachers go, and that day was much, much harder than this week because the kids were brand new to my class and didn't know the routine at all. many weren't verbal at all either. now they know the deal and they're talking so much. they also know me better and i know them, and we love each other. it's so much easier to lead them now, which is always the case this time of the school year.

today at last both my regular coteachers were back. also although we've had a near-full class on mon and tues (just one kid out also with covid), today randomly there were four absences. so we had just fourteen students. it was so nice. busy, but not overwhelmingly so. i could take a break lol. my poor coteachers though, they worked hard although they're still recovering. and the one with covid was supposed to have taken some time off last week, but because she got covid she couldn't enjoy it. and she's the same cowoker who had approved time off in june that was retracted the day of because of terrible understaffing on that day. the fates just don't want to let her have a nice vacation -_- i say fates buuut... taking away someone's approved PTO is pretty shitty. it's the only time it's happened in all the years i've worked here, but tbh if it had been me it would have been a pretty big nail in the coffin. we all love our students and we care about our coworkers too, so that's why we make those sacrifices. but i often wish people would be more selfish and maybe drive the point home to the head office that we're not being treated well at all and we're all just surviving. however i am pretty sure it would just result in us getting yelled at and then quitting of our own volition, like happened to six teachers last year... my school is good, the upper management isn't, go figure :P

#fizz's life #work

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geddy-leesbian · 2 years

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ok so mice update: beginning to suspect the 2 mice we've seen were actually just the same mouse twice. neither of the traps have gone off. (and the peanut butter I put on for bait was undisturbed so it's not an issue with the trap not triggering) and idk, I feel like there would have been smth if there were more? mice shit a LOT honestly looking behind the stove again it seems like a very reasonable amount for one single mouse. and again, not even a trace of mice activity anywhere else in the whole house. with how I placed the traps, they most likely would have had to trigger one if they were doing anything behind the stove again. and I know mice don't always follow the laws of physics and could have avoided them, but they still would have been close enough to the peanut butter to be tempted. again, the cabinets/drawers are all 100% clear. so idk where the fuck else they could possibly be rn??

plus the smoking gun is that the goblins haven't been staring under the stove anymore. now let's all just pray that the mouse found its way outside or some shit I guess.

and I know I posted that the goblins killed it the other day, but that was because my mom was freaking the fuck out over having mice again so I lied to her and on here to keep my story straight lmao. reality is that they were trying really hard for hours and Journey would have been able to get it on his own, but Baby Rush is so stupid that he's basically just deadweight and worse than being alone. he did defy all expectations and actually had it in his mouth at one point, and then went back to what I expected when he forgot where he was or smth and just. Dropped It. and it ran under a cabinet. Journey watched the cabinet like all night, it started at 11:30 and he was still watching when I got up to pee around 5 am. so idk its current whereabouts, except that it's not under the stove. I'm really just hoping it managed to get out, because it was kinda cute tbh and I felt a bit bad for it because being in Baby Rush's mouth must be terrifying, and also I obviously don't want to deal with a dead mouse. like with how fucking determined Journey was watching that cabinet the other night, there's definitely a nonzero chance that he actually did kill it and the body is god knows where, and the only thing worse than getting a dead mouse out of a trap would be just Finding a dead mouse somewhere you're not expecting it.

#baby rush is too dumb to kill mice but he is also too dumb to tell the difference between a toy mouse and an actual mouse #meaning he plays w actual mice #at the old house journey did actually kill a mouse and then baby rush was just fucking batting it around Everywhere #bc im also dumb apparently since i thought he had a toy at first #but in my defense i didnt have my glasses on and he's a fucking cat so he's supposed to be the hunter #also the other night when journey was attacking the mouse it started to play dead and that was when baby rush got involved #bc he lost his favorite toy mouse a bit before that by batting it under smth and his tiny brain saw not moving mouse and thought My Toy!!!!#he literally lost interest when he dropped it and it moved #fucking dumbass #i love him #but if his brother killed it and he batted the body somewhere weird im going to lose my shit

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terresdebrume · 3 years

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The one good point of sweating so much out of stress is that it helps with the rotation of shirts I've set in place so my smell is always mostly fresh and in the wind from my building

I'm also going to try and prepare pieces of fabric again because the last place I saw maybe-Pouet in yesterday is generally upwind from my place but not very far so I figure a trail of ribbons can't hurt

I'm also, I'll admit, hoping that if it is Pouet two months outside will help her move a little bit more confidently and come back faster ><

#Matt has a life #Pouet #I'm trying very hard to manage my own expectations here tbh #I've also planned to do a night run every night until I go back to work next Monday #If I nap about two hours during the day that'll leave me with about seven and a half hours of sleep per 24h which is about decent i think

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shotorozu · 3 years

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Hiii how's your day?

Can you do Shoto, Tamaki, and Katsuki where their s/o hides under their bed and scare them to see their reaction? I saw this on tiktok and here is the link https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJLpvqrn/

Btw I really admire your works and I'm always excited for your new posts🥰

Keep safe! Love youu

hiding under their bed

(tiktok prank)

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, amajiki tamaki, todoroki shouto (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : crack (x reader)

note(s) : SWEARING obviously bc of bakugou, anyways— i wrote this bc i was fixing up the 5 character post i was making. (i hope you guys actually read it, otherwise i’ll be really really really sad /hj)

will edit later!

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

okay, you must be INSANE

pretending to be a monster, under the bed you share with KATSUKI BAKUGOU?? what more if it was his bed 💀

you decided to do this prank for what again 😭❓ unless it’s for a bet/money, WHY?? JUST WHY?? you’re very ballsy. its impressive

you actually decided to pull this prank on katsuki, because you and mina wanted to see who could get the most views out of this prank 💀

you then hide under the bed— phone in hand, and you’re left to wait patiently for his expected return from training.

i can practically see your life span decreasing by 10 years, because he is not going to take things lightly.

he enters the room, aspirated from training, and obviously very sweaty— he just wants your touch at this point.

katsuki was always jumpy when it came to ‘spooky’ things, like that time he jumped during the test of courage in the training camp arc

so when he sees a slipper getting CHUCKED out from under the bed, exactly when he comes in the empty room— he JUMPS

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT” he jolts back, his hand making mini explosions— almost tripping over his feet.

c’mon, katsuki knows it’s probably not the paranormal— which is wHY HE’S GONNA CHUCK EVERYTHING OFF THE BED, AND LIFT IT UP TO INVESTIGATE

uh oh. you’re met with a set of glaring irises, wanting to fight whoever was down there— doesn’t matter if it was dunce face, or a nameless intruder.

“it’s you,” he sighs, rolling his eyes as he puts down the bed— dragging you out of the bed, “what the fuck are you doing down there??” he shouldn’t be surprised

you gotta hope the tiktok blows up (which it does, by a lot) because katsuki will scold you for a while, snuggling you close to him while he mouths you off

he’s glad it’s not actually an intruder though

amajiki tamaki

poor, poor tamaki.

it’s so similar to most of the pranks that get pulled on him— intentional or unintentional.

you probably didn’t even mean to scare him like that, but mirio wanted you to do it— because it would’ve been very predictable if he did it

you saw his reaction coming, but you still pushed through anyway.

hesitating, you sneak under the bed— your phone in hand to record tamaki’s reaction and a slipper in the other hand, and you wait for tamaki’s return back

when he walks in, he’s surprised to not see you there— but he IS surprised to see a slipper sliding out under bed

for the dramatic effect, you also managed to bring a SPEAKER down there, and you also prepare sound effects

you press the play button of the recording’s menacing laugh, and you can literally see him jump slightly

tamaki’s there like 😟 scared shitless— because he wasn’t expecting to hear a laugh under the bed. sliding slippers? sure! but,, a laugh? 😟

“u-uh,, hello?” he shakes, stuck in place as he listens to the sound of menacing laughter bouncing off the walls

you’re gonna give him a heart attack i swear

i don’t know if i should laugh or be concerned, since tamaki’s reaction is to immediately runs to the corner of the room

he’s now rocking back and forth— rambling and hoping you’d just miraculously make an entrance

it’s sad bc he’s not normally THIS scared but please— he wasn’t expecting this in HIS room, out of all of the places

laughs out of fear relief when you come crawling out from the bed, laughing hysterically at his reaction.

cuddle and give him kisses afterwards, just do it. you almost made him faint— and that wouldn’t have been good, nuh uh.

mirio laughed HARD, but you promised yourself not to post it— since you didn’t feel like getting clout over a prank you filmed for mirio specifically 💀

todoroki shouto

he gradually start expecting tiktok pranks coming his way— ever since he got with you, of course

shouto will have to get used to it, if he wants to spend his life with you

but this still managed to make him shook to the core, he’s heard of the usual traditional pranks— but this?? this is new

tbh this wasn’t even planned on your behalf. you decided on a whim to hide under the bed and scare him— just to see how he’d react.

you hide under the bed when makes a quick trip to fetch some water, snickering when you start filming the tiktok.

shouto’s confused when he comes back to an empty bed, and when he moves towards the bed— he’s surprised to see a slipper flying from the bed

to the point he DROPS the plastic cup of water he was holding— backing up towards the wall.

“oh.” so he’s going to play it off casual, huh? it’s hilarious seeing how he tries his absolute best to avoid the sides of the bed.

then, you see him quickly jumping onto the bed— and when his legs are still dangling off the bed’s ledge, you grab his ankle

he ends up freezing your hand 💀 and he apologizes to you while your laughter cuts through the silences, unfreezing your hand in the process.

“you startled me, love.” he sighed in relief as he embraces you for comfort, thankful it wasn’t actually something paranomal. “though, i should’ve expected this.”

the tiktok blows up in a short amount of time, and the comment section is CLOWNING him— shouto can only stand there like 🧍 “i see.”

thankfully, you’re happy so— he’s pretty pleased by the tiktok’s results too! just,, try not to shorten his life span. or he’ll get you back 10x harder

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

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chokiipng · 3 years

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Hay fever : Genshin various

a/n : suffering from seasonal allergies isn't fun . so instead of trying to do school work, i'm gonna write hcs to make myself feel better

character(s) : Xiao, Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Childe contents : fluff with a bit of crack (my specialty) + : reader has really bad seasonal allergies

Xiao :

he doesn't really understand tbh

he plays it off as a common cold at first and entrusts you with Verr, much to her annoyance. he didn't realize the true severity of the situation until a week had passed.

he's heard of seasonal allergies before, so it's not like he was entirely clueless, he just didn't know how to go about treating it.

because of this, he turned into a big ball of concern for the entirety of spring

he asked everyone he could for help, even that ginger haired harbinger (to which he had no clue since he basically lives on an iceberg)

this also happened to peek Zhongli's interest, who then took him to Bubu pharmacy to learn more. it took Xiao about 5 different interrogations to actually visit Bubu, he cursed himself internally for not checking there in the first place

of course, Baizhu laughed it off and informed the both of them on how allergies work, how they're triggered, and how to prevent/soothe them

if you sneezed/sniffled, he was immediately by your side with a tissue and some water. itchy eyes, he had a small bottle of eyedrops for you courtesy of Dr. Baizhu and Qiqi

it was amusing to say the least, watching a feared Yaksha running around frantically in order to soothe your allergies

of course, he soon picked up that it was because you went outside every goddamn day to complete commissions and to pick flowers for who knows who (Qiqi, you often found yourself picking herbs with her because who could say no to that face?)

he legit locked you in your room at Wangshuu Inn and did your commissions for you. he didn't want you in any pain, so he stayed with you when he finished all of his tasks

he didn't isolate you though, but if he takes you out he makes sure you take your allergy medicine (given by Qiqi, ty bby) and that you have a mask on

Diluc :

he never really experienced hay fever, but he knows the gist of it

he's heard stories of it from customers of the Angel's Share and was immensely grateful to the Archons for blessing him with immunity to seasonal allergies

but he wasn't prepared to catch you practically sneezing your guts out one morning

Diluc drops everything, much to Adelinde's horror, and orders for a box of tissues and water immediately. he whips out the blankets from under the couch that he knew you hid and props you on some pillows he fluffed in a panicked rush

the maids watch with a nervous chuckle as he runs around the mansion, completely forgetting about his shift at the Angel's Share and his nightly heroic duties

as soon as he calms down from the initial shock of how hard allergies hit you, he asks you how your feeling and if he can do anything

the next day he asks Donna (who stutters at his mere presence), who mind you is an employee at the Floral Whisper, since Flora isn't there herself about hay fever. he figured that people who worked at a flower shop would know about allergies caused by the pollen produced by flowers

he brings back medicine that you've been instructed to take daily as to lessen the affects of your allergies

despite his day duties, he offers to take up your daily commissions during the days you are physically unable to do them or just does them of his own volition

he trusts that the maids will take care of you in his stead

in the mean time, you're allowed to roam the city as you wish, but that's about it. he threatened Lawrence and Swan that they would feel the wrath of retribution if you stepped foot outside the city

Mondstadt was a land of eternal springtime, there was no way in hell he was letting you out of the city without his supervision

while all of this may be a bit much, he makes sure to let you know that this is just him caring for you. he doesn't want to seem overbearing and trusts that you know what's happening to your body and how to treat it

Kaeya :

he laughs at your demise

what did you expect ?

but he really is worrying on the inside

he makes sure to check in with Barbara just to make sure that you're not suffering from a lethal disease

once he knows that they're just seasonal allergies, (almost) all his worries subside and he sighs of relief

he notifies Jean beforehand (but sometimes forgets), he works considerably less during the time of your allergies since he doesn't really trust anyone else to take care of you

he also doesn't drink as much, surprising, he knows

he refrains from bringing you flowers as he usually does and instead spoils you with unnecessary affection

Kaeya doesn't worry as much since he puts faith in you that you know what's going on in your body. since they're seasonal allergies, he realizes that you must've gone through this before and know how to treat it

since you can't really cure it, you just act more cautious in the outdoors

he often accompanies you on your daily commissions and such, just to be sure that your okay. he takes over the moment you pause to sneeze or itch your nose even once

aside from this, he's the other reason why your allergies are unbearable

once they're all done and over, he teases you relentlessly about how reliant you were on him when in reality it was him doing your tasks of his own volition rather than you asking him. you told him several times that you could handle it, but he persisted nonetheless

he's more reasonable during your hay fever, and despite his unnecessary comments, you find it endearing

Albedo :

he is among the few men who are actually calm during the situation, but since when is he not?

he probably already has a remedy for you that greatly lessens the affect of your allergies

but even without it, he trusts that you know how to handle it

the only factor in here that would cause chaos-

is Klee

once Klee hears you sneeze all hell breaks loose in Albedo's workspace

she runs around everywhere looking for tissues and then ends up bringing Mondstadt's entire supply, which you and Albedo laugh nervously at

once Klee calms down, you explain the bare minimum of hay fever, which she manages to understand

while he has faith that you can treat it yourself, Albedo still recommends that you stay inside more rather than going out exploring and looking for chests, to which you sheepishly comply

Jean cannot thank you enough when it comes to Klee's behavior during this season, as Klee tends to spend more time at home with you and Albedo once you finish your commissions so that "you don't feel lonely!"

she even drew you a picture to show how much she cared!

if you can't sleep at night because of your allergies, Albedo (who is probably still up working) will gladly allow you to indulge in his studies or to just simply read with you until you fall asleep

he too is also happy that you managed to tame Klee

Childe :

this man has no idea what the fuck hay fever is

need I remind you that he grew up in the land of perpetual winter, hay fever doesn't even exist to him. unlike everyone else, he hasn't even heard of the concept

so when you hold a finger up during your weekly sparring, he pauses with a curious tilt of his head

he screams in horror as you sneeze out all of your bodily fluids not once, not twice, but three times

Childe calls off the spar and cradles you in your arms as if you're about to die

it's until he rushes you to Baizhu in a panicked frenzy that he realizes that its...a fever?

now Baizhu is a patient man, he had to raise a zombie child who basically loses her memory each time she wakes up and wields a sword/cryo abilities

but he was getting tired of Childe's endless questions quick.

Childe shrieks as the normally passive pharmacist slams his hands down on the counter with a sickeningly sweet smile

he ceases in his questions, apologizes for bothering him, and races back to the Northland Bank in a cold sweat

it takes you explaining it in a calm voice for him to finally understand it

and he takes this very seriously

while he knows that it's seasonal and that you've gone through it before, he can't help but worry for you

he coddles you, and he doesn't relent even if you tell him

he slaps a mask on you, takes away your fighting privileges, and even order his subordinates to keep an eye on you at all times

that is if he's not already

he clings

he's attached to you

he just wants you to feel better, and you appreciate it, but it can get a little too much sometimes

and while you do tell him this, the same situation happens every year when spring comes around and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Baizhu can't catch a break from the rowdy harbinger

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asmo-ds · 4 years

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I hope I'm not sending in too many asks, I have too much ideas and not the skill to write them. But, how about MC is in devildom and their older twin brothers comes to visit? Like MC greets them with the classic run and jump in arms hug and they seem to be really close with occasional 'fight me'. And maybe one of the demon bros are in a relationship with MC and MC's brothers gives them the 'you hurt my sibling we' ll kill you ' talk?

never feel bad about sending in asks babes! i love writing these and the things all of y’all come up with are so creative and I could never come up with some them on my own tbh

Meet MC’s protective brothers

- When he finds out MC has siblings they’re close with he immediately goes to Diavolo to suggest visitation to the Devildom (which who is Diavolo to say no to even more MCs)

- When he sees MC greet their brothers with a run and jump, ultimately knocking them all over into a laughing pile of dorks

- MC introduces Lucifer as their boyfriend, which immediately makes him feel a bit flustered but also proud

- He tries to impress them all night by making fancy meals and keeping his brothers in line as well as coddling MC all night to show they’re being taken care of

- MC realizes they are out of Wine and volunteers to leave Lucifer’s study to go grab more, and they vanish before anyone can protest

- the second they leave the brothers are leaning over towards Lucifer with hard faces

- “If you hurt our sibling trust us you’ll regret it” one of them says as the other nods along

- At first Lucifer is shocked at the balls on these guys but then he simply smirks and turns to his demon form, leaning into them as well before saying,

-“Ok? and if you hurt my lover you’ll regret it” which causes the brothers to smile and laugh before they all calm down and have a casual convo

-MC had overheard the interaction and had to calm their racing heart before entering the room

- When Mammon finds out MC’s brothers are coming he nearly pisses himself

- he also spends the entire visit on the verge of pissing his pants

- when he sees how happy they all are as they fall into a giggling pile of dorks his heart bursts though

- very sweaty™️

- when MC introduces Mammon as their boyfriend he blacks out and doesn’t come back until they’re at the house of lamentation

- decked MC in shiny things before the brothers came so that they’d be happy knowing Mammon spoils them

- As soon as MC goes to the bathroom their brothers gang up on him

- “Listen up Mr. Avatar of Greed, you better treat our sibling right or else we’ll get some holy water in this place”

- A very audible gulp from mammon

- “.... please don’t bring my dad’s piss water into this”

- that gets a laugh out of everyone and MC’s brothers and Mammon end up being best bros

- When MC comes back they all tell them what happened and MC nearly pisses themself laughing (why can’t i stop talking about piss)

- is very sad when they leave but starts planning their next visit

- another sweaty man™️

- Tries to hide in his room the entire visit

- When MC drags him to come pick their brothers up he gets really whiney and flustered

- Nearly screams when MC tackled them bc he knows how fragile his normie is

- When he sees them all laughing though he calms down and stands stiffly letting them greet eachother

- When attention turns towards him he almost runs but MC grabs his arm to stop him

- Being introduced as their boyfriend gave him more confidence

- MC had left Levi’s room to go grab a movie they were going to watch from their own room

- “Listen up fish boy,” oh goodness here we go “don’t even think of taking up all of MC’s time we still need her too”

- as soon as Levi felt their envy he let out a breath

- “I should be jealous of you guys! you’ve had all of MC’s life with them i have only had this year :(“

-*sad fishy noises*

- Henry watches from his fish tank like: 👁👄👁

- When MC comes back and they’re all crying and hugging they’re like wtf happened

- He gets to reading up on proper ways to act around a significant other’s family

- Finds MC’s excitement to see their brothers adorable

- When he sees MC tackle them in a hug he flinches because hes so used to MC having to be careful around everyone in the Devildom

- Gives their brothers firm handshakes and makes eye contact

- At one point when MC is summoned by Lucifer for a quick report on their school work Satan is left alone with the brothers

- “Alright buddy lets get this over with,” one of the older brothers starts.

- Satan tenses expecting them to be angry at him for dating their human sibling and being the avatar of wrath

- “You seem trust worthy and I am honored to have you as a future brother-in-law”

- *cue Satan blushing at the idea of marriage*

- “BUT if you ever let your wrath effect MC and bring harm to them we will come down here and make you wish you’d never met them.”

- You’d think Satan would be mad, but hes actually impressed by their boldness and pleased with the love they hold in their heart for MC

- MC comes back to them all having a political discussion maturely and calmly

- MC has brothers??

- “... are they hot too?” *MC slap*

- Is nervous about accidentally making raunchy comments in front of them and ruining a future with the only person to ever love him for more than whats in his pants or his status

- When MC goes to tackle their brothers in a hug he joins the hug as well

- Their brothers are confused at first but seeing MC happy made them feel more comfortable with Asmo hugging them as well

- Asmo mainly sticks to gossipy humor and avoids any sort of lustful topics

- MC leaves the room to go stop Beel from eating them out of house and home

- “Asmodeus” oh f*ck

- “I definitely like you, you seem like the perfect person for MC, BUT if you ever lay a hand on them without their consent I will pop that pretty little nose of yours straight into your skull”

- At first Asmo is worried about his nose but then when he realizes what they said he chuckles

- “No matter how strong of a desire I may have to touch them I would never dream of doing so without clear consent, darling. You need not worry your pretty little heads about me hurting your MC”

- Their brothers are shocked by his words but ultimately begin to share embarrassing stories from when MC was younger

- Asmo definitely made copies of a few baby photos for his wallet

- Twin brothers ? he sure knows about those

- Whenever MC talks about them he can’t help but smile bc it’s obvious how much family means to them

- Seeing MC knock over their brothers was funny to him because he is so used to MC trying to tackle him and barely managing to make him flinch

- Will be very casual and comfortable easily (at least on the outside)

- on the inside he’s like a little kitty hiding in the corner :(

- Big teddy bear boyo is so nervous but those nerves don’t show until MC leaves the room and the Brothers give each other a nod

- oh gosh are they gonna beat Beel up?!

- “We know you like eating everything but if you eat or hurt our sibling in any way shape or form we will kill you.” Beel stops shaking and sweating

- he laughs and the brothers seem to grow angry

- After all MC had done for him and his family he wouldn’t even have a passing thought of hurting them

- When he tells the brothers that they seem very relieved

- When MC comes back the boys are all smiley and chatting up a storm which makes their heart swell

- Twin brothers like him and Beel? sounds easy enough to deal with

- Gets lots of sleep before they arrive to avoid being exhausted in front of them definitely still is exhausted tho

- MC tackles them in a hug and he smiles sleepily before helping MC and their brothers up

- Stays quiet and lets MC catch up with their brothers

- Beel comes in and asks MC if they can cook some human food for him, leaving Belphie with the Brothers

- “Belphegor, lets make this quick and simple,” Belphie sits up but groans internally

- “We know being tired is your whole shtick or whatever but we need you to never get tired of our sibling, okay? MC deserves the world and if you can’t give them that, we won’t hesitate to come back down here and beat your sleepy ass”

- ,,, wonders if they know about the accident from when he got out the attic

- “Knowing who MC is, I don’t think I could ever get tired of them, and if I did they’d kill me before you even made it down here” Belphie chuckled

- MC came back quickly due to not telling Belphie that they DONT know about the whole murder thing lol but is pleased to see them all in casual conversation definitely teasing MC in some silly way

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#om! swd #obey me headcannon #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #obey me hc #om! headcanons #obey me beelzebub #asmodeous #beelzeebub #obey me lucifer #mammon #leviathan #obey me satan

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kanesthirstblog · 3 years

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NSFW ALPHABET: ABE HARUAKI

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Requires lots of aftercare but also wants to take care of you. Very clingly, like, will latch onto you and cuddle you for the rest of the night clingy. You should probably give him some reassurance or comfort, he seems like the type to stress about whether or not he was any good to you once the fun is over.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Hmmm... Totally the sappy kinda guy who tells you he loves all of your body and thinks it's beautiful and 100% means every praise he sings you about it. He loves everything about you from your soft hair to the tips of your toes.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

God. Just imagining him sprawled out on any surface with an exhausted yet dopey look in his eyes, covered in his own cum (and/or yours of course!) after a few rounds of sex really makes me feel satisfied. Really can't explain this one

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Secretly a bit of a masochist but also scared of being hurt so he never asks even if he really wants to.

Also secretly owns a couple erotic novels he used as "research" when you first brought up wanting a sexual relationship. Since you are his first, he would want to see how he's supposed to act in that scenenrio so he could please you properly. (But damn was he shocked when you wanted to be the dominant one. That wasn't in his books.) Haruaki learns the importance of communication that day.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Dudes a canon virgin y'all. This also excites me.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Secretly loves it when he's on his back so he can see your face as you ride him or peg him. He just thinks you're the prettiest person he's evermet and loves watching you even as you tease or toy with him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's a sappy guy. Would probably look at you like a puppy who sees someone they really love. Besides that he's have that dopey look like he's never been happier than he is in that moment, smiling up at you.

Once you've had sex a couple times he might start opening up more, cracking jokes and asking shy requests from you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Yup. Makes sure he's nice and clean especially

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He really tries hard to be romantic but he has 0 experience in this area and often fumbles his way through it by trying to be sweet and make you feel good. Very bad at saying romantic things and would probably give up after a bit before he dies from embarassment.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Tbh I actually think he'd barely masturbate if he did at all. This is partly because I actually have an asexual headcanon for him and partly cause in canon he seems really put off by sexual things if not being outright afraid of them.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Contrary to some of the fandom headcanons, I don't really imagine the sailor uniform thing as a kink. It just seems like a typical fixation or something that gets played up for laughs to a strange degree. But maybe thats my ADHD dumbass brain projecting my ADHD onto a fave. (Off topic but him knowing everything about sailor uniforms, from design to creation, being able to make them himself, getting happy any time he sees one, ect. Are headcanons I have because his weird fixation with them reminds me of my fixation on rocks, mushrooms, and jewelry.)

HOWEVER

Praise kink. Body worship. He'd love to be pet gently while you tell him how pretty he is. How you love his soft hair or his long legs or slender form as you lightly trail you fingertips down his body or card fingers through his hair. And he would do the same for you too.

Might at least try pegging, and then realizes he actually likes it when you hold him down and pound his ass.

Would be too embarrassed and a bit scared to bring this up but actually likes the idea being treated roughly. If you could pull at his hair and bite him even a little bit he'd practically melt in your hands.

Might try bondage if it's light. Soft hand cuffs or silk ropes are the way to go.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

At home. Anywhere is fine as long as its at home

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The fastest way is probably being physical with him or just stripping for him. He gets embarassed and tries to hide but you know he's aroused, you can feel it when you sit on his lap.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He'd probably not be okay with having more than one partner. You might frighten him if he starts feeling like you guys are ganging up on him.

Public/semi-public sex is a no go. Especially since he is a teacher, he wouldn't risk his job on the off chance you both get caught.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

I think he actually might no be very into oral at first. But will give or recieve though you may have to hear some complaint about it being kind of unsanitary or something. He's also kinda bad a giving oral but what did you expect? He's a virgin.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Personally prefers the slow and sensual kinda sex but you set the pace regardless so ultimately it's up to you. He won't be turned into a stuttering mess right away if you guys take it slow.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Alright with it as long as it stays private. You'll be the only one asking for these but try to get him in the morning before he leaves for work so you can corner him against a counter. Its best when his back is turned so you can grab his hair and lick along his throat, nipping here and there. He'd shiver in your arms as you trail a hand down to undo his pants

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

As long as it isn't a risk to him (would probably be too scared to try knifeplay) or job (no public/semi-public sex) you could probably talk him into it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Hmmm... Depends I guess. I feel like he might only be active for a round or maybe 2 before he starts slowing down. You could still pound the guy into the mattress but he'll have those half lidded doe eyes cloudy with exhaustion. He'd wrap his arms around you loosely as if you'll help ground him to the waking world and try to hold you closer to him.

At that point you should definitely ask a few times before you start another round to make sure he's okay and reassure him that it's alright to stop now. Strikes me as someone who could easily fall into a place where he'd hide his desire to stop just so you can use him for your own fun since it makes you happy. That could be kinda bad for his mental health.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

You'd be the one with all the toys tbh. But you can sure as hell use them on him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He's not much of a tease but if he's feeling playful, he might play up the innocent look of his. He really is a pretty innocent guy actually, but he knows you love that sweet look he's got to him and he will use it on you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

So damn loud. This guy would moan and beg loudly, scream your name and plead for mercy, for relief as you all but eat him alive. Might even cry and whine and beg. Oh, but he tries to be quiet so he doesn't risk disturbing anyone. He'd purse his lips and turn away from you while you play with his body in an attempt to stay quiet but he always gives in quickly. It's easy to turn this guy into a whimpering, begging mess no matter how many times you do this.

You'll know when he's tired because he will be unable to make much noise besides low pants and gasps. Probably best to wrap things up at that point before ya fuck him unconcious.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I have a few actually.

-Has a hard time saying no to you. He's a bit cowardly and overthinks and he would be afraid to lose a first relationship. This is potentially hazardous to his mental health because he might say "yes" to something he doesn't want for fear of losing you. Consent is important though so even if it's difficult at first, keep checking to make sure he's alright.

-I actually headcanon him as a sex indifferent asexual. He can 100% live with sex or without it. Doesn't matter to him, though he's terrified of trying it for the first time.

-The first time you tried to get him in bed, you pinned him to a wall and he was terrified because he thought you were trying to shake him down or harass him. (Well, the latter part was true but not the way he expected.) And then you kissed him and he straight up broke, wrapped himself in blankets and hid under the futon for the rest of the day. Disappointing? Sure, but damn was it cute.

-I'm actually caught up on how he would take to dirty talk tbh since a lot of it I've seen or heard involves some form or another of calling your partner a slut or whatever. Seems to be popular. On one hand if he's secretly a masochist, he might be into it. But on the other, he also seems like he might take anything you say to him to heart and beat himself up over it and would ultimately not like it. Also probably would not be comfortable if he did the dirty talking and assuming he manages to make it through the night without apologizing to you for everything he says, then you'll hear it when you finish.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Mandragora patterned briefs. You cannot change my mind on this one.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not very, so he's pretty chill about it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends on how much you exhausted him but it usually doesn't take that long.

Bonus:

Some more cute Haruaki.

#youkai gakkou no sensei hajimemashita #a terrified teacher at ghoul school #abe haruaki #haruaki abe #nsfwheadcanons

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muzaktomyears · 3 years

Text

thank you for the tag in the Beatles fic questions, @dusted-0negin & @cinnamontoastandtears!! <3 Sorry, I've had this in drafts for a while but it took ages to write because it got so long....

Which is why it's all going under a cut:

Have you written rpf before, or are the Beatles the first you’ve ever done it for?

My main fandom is ancient history rpf of my academic area of expertise, which is rpf, technically, though that's so divorced from the modern day that even trying to write actual analytical history of it is so close to fanfic tbh. But I am a historian and I do try hard to make it as historically-accurate as I possibly can; I don't write the main pairing based on a book or film as most people do, but on the history as I perceive it. And I try to do the same here though obviously I don't take it anywhere near as seriously lmao (or I try not to but it happens anyway because that's just my nature). (Do message me if you want to read my other fandom fic, I'm happy to give out the name!)

What’s your favorite ship to write and why?

John/Paul (sorry, I don't like smushnames, I am Old), because it's so fucking ridiculous and drama-y and you can write any version tbh, angst or fluff or smut or whatever, it has everything at different times. I am also getting in to Paul/George though largely in an unrequited way (on George's side) and of course George/Ringo which is a lovely antidote to the ott-ness of John/Paul, though I've not yet written it as an actual pairing let alone published what I have written. (I've fallen in love with George/Bob too which I did not ever expect so maybe I will return to that...?)

Easiest beatle to write?

PAULPAULPAULPAULPAUL, a thousand times Paul. It does scare me a bit because I don't even try, or at least I don't think I do, I just think of a scenario and think 'What would I Paul do??' and it just comes out endlessly until I have to physically stop myself writing more (I don't always succeed). Not sure why but yeah, I think we are fundamentally very similar people and I hate that tbh. I was and still am scared to write John but he's actually not that bad when you get down to it... at least when riffing off Paul, from Paul's POV. I still haven't finished my first John POV fic though so we'll see, his internal life terrifies me tbh, who even knows what's going on there?? Certainly not him.

Hardest Beatle to write?

Oh, George. I was a bit worried that I'd written so much Paul, and planned/mostly written John and Ringo POVs, but I still hadn't managed to come up with a George POV no matter how hard I tried. Then the other week I had a perfect idea and wrote down notes for it and it ended up over 10 pages long lmao. Again, not fully written yet so we'll see, but I did find it easy once I got going, though I did have some issues with J&P trying to take over again... but that's sort of the point of the story. I hope I can finish it soon anyway because I really enjoyed even just writing up notes for it :) I'm not sure why I find George so hard (though it seems other people do too) - I think I am quite similar to him (though nowhere near as much as I am to Paul) and strangely it works the other way round, I therefore find him harder to write. And I feel very sorry for him. I feel sorry for them all of course, but George and Ringo especially, and George most of all because he was stuck within those stupid dynamics for years before Ringo, and Ringo both because of that and by dint of his personality found it easier to disengage, where George suffered a lot in (not quite) silence, I feel, and writing his internal monologue of that wounds me to my core. I think writing break-up George would be acutely impossible for me. But yeah <3

Do you prefer to write in the original era or modern au?

Original. I will read Modern AUs and I've enjoyed them but I'm really here for at least an attempt at historical accuracy both in my own work and in other people's, so yeah. That's just my opinion though - Modern AUs are fine! Great, even! And I do like to see how people change stuff/adjust it. Just not my cup of tea.

What’s your least favorite pair to write and why? Elaborate if the reason isn’t incredibly negative!

I dunno because I haven't written many yet or at least not fully/published... I think it would be something like Paul/Dot which was just absolutely awful for both of them but especially Dot, who I am so so glad got out tbh. But we'll see.

Do you read or write more?

I read more. Though it does depend - I go through writing phases where I spent a few days/a week doing almost nothing but in my spare time, but even then I tend to read as well. I look at the main tag every day and I will give most things a try. Still haven't commented or even kudosed yet...... sorry! I will get round to it and there's a huge backlog of fics I have bookmarked (not an AO3, literally bookmarked on Chrome) to get through and comment on! <3 This summer when I have some time!!

Aus or canon compliant? If you prefer aus, what is your favorite to write about?

I do prefer canon-compliant because of the historian thing but... AUs are good too, especially if they're based on some slight divergence like 'what if x never happened/did happen?' and then it all just spins off from there. But then ridiculous AUs like what if they were in Star Trek also excite me lmao and I have at least three Star Trek prompts in my prompt list at the moment...

Is there a ship you like to see more of?

Tbh anything that's not any combination of the main 4. Like, a ship of one of them with a 'side character' can be way more interesting to me in terms of characterisation and dynamics. And even of two of the 'side characters' tbh even if it's a 'traditional' ship... idk. But in general terms: I am Obsessed with the John&Ringo relationship at the moment, not necessarily shippy but just their relationship as friends, plus the same (but less so) for Paul&Ringo, John&George, and (of course) Paul&George.

Is there an au/a trope you’d like to see more of?

omfg. Let me open my prompt document. Okay, here's a few I have either on the go or I intend to look at eventually:

- Mafia AU (obviously - the (less awful) inversion of the Kray fic, essentially!)

- Bodyswap where it's all four (and even other people too??)

- Philippines fic!!!!! Either where it all goes wrong(er) or just canon tbh

- Group therapy fic (lmfao)

- Social media AU (modern or an alt universe where they had Twitter in the 1960s idk) - mainly for Brian trying to monitor it all tbh

- Jelly bean incident fic (serious and/or crack)

- More random outsider POVs, either of famous people (I have Little Richard mostly written, and I want to do Elvis but that would take time to research) or just rando OCs (like their neighbours and stuff like that? idek)

- Just more Bob Dylan tbh, as POV character, as a side character, just being referenced, I don't even care, I love him <3

- We have quite a few 'back in time' ones (and I've written one too) but........... what about 'forward in time'???? IMAGINE THAT. >:)

Okay I'm going to stop there before I give away all my ideas lmfao (not really, I have at least 50 others oh god) <33

What’s a fanfic trope pet peeve?

Hmmm. Not sure because like I said, I will give almost anything a try, and I tend to be convinced to some degree by most things even if it's not my idea of the characters (esp re: Paul). But yeah the stereotypes thing gets old very fast, unless you do something very clever with it, and the wife-bashing or even just wife-ignoring tbh (or other character-bashing, even of guys). And the ones where you can tell that the author has an absolute fave that they put most of their effort into (though not always to great effect). I admit that I do this too (well, not much effort lmao) but I do try to write the others as well as I can and not stereotype them, especially in serious fic. This isn't only a problem in this fandom tbf - it occurs in every fandom, especially in the main pairing, and you wonder wtf people are doing writing it if they love one character so much that they see none of their faults and hate the other so that they see only faults. It's weird. But yeah.

Other little things: I feel that people tend to write people being too (immediately) forgiving of John&Paul, and not even of their weird relationship but just stuff like wanting to have careers in music when it looked like throwing their lives away. Especially thinking of Mimi and Jim here but applies to a lot of people tbh.

Also, not a trope as such but: the Americanisms do get to me because I am super petty, sorry! I don't immediately backclick or anything but it does pull me out of even the best fic. Some are very easy to fix (like 'closet' or 'couch') but others are harder to pin down if you don't have close knowledge of vocab. tbh I even dislike some Britishisms that I don't think are accurate to their place or time or class (especially). But this is just one of my many Issues that I have even irl with friends who call it a sofa and a lounge etc., so please ignore me!

Do you prefer to write one shots or multi-chaptered fics?

One shots. I have never written a multi-chaptered fic in my life in any fandom. I don't like not knowing where it's going, so I do have to plan at least an ending before I start writing. I've tried to get more into it here but it still terrifies me. I don't want to become the WiP-abandoner! :(

On a scale from 1 to 10 how much have fanfiction taken over your life?

Right now?? Like, 8. I have other stuff to be doing but it is always at the back of my mind lmao.

Do you have an author you look up to?

Oh god. I haven't been here long so I'm not fully versed in what's been written, especially a while ago, but yeah, I have so many. Sorry, I cannot list them or we'd be here all day but see my answer to the next question for some of them (though by no means all!).

What is a fic you can’t get tired of, no matter how many times you’ve read it?

I haven't re-read many as I don't have the time yet, but here's some that I have or am fully intending to read again properly (a lot of these authors I'm not aware of as having tumblrs, so please let me know if they do so I can link them here too!):

- 'metered' by @fingersfallingupwards - as I've said before this is the first thing I read in this fandom that made me think 'wow', and want to read more stuff like it

- 'What Happens in Cheshire' by cloudy_blue - because I love outsider POV more than anything and this is my favourite so far I think? (Also adore 'Tessellate' by the same author for similar reasons)

- 'Ignorance is Bliss' by bunnoculars - another great (and unexpected to me at least) outsider POV

- 'burning' by Keiser Franz/@dusted-0negin - for (the absolutely accurate) John's praise kink

- 'Mendips' by mrswinstonmccartney - because it's so well-written and I particularly love any Mimi-Paul interaction lmao (as you shall see.......)

- anything and everything by LouisWain1939 (dunno if you want me to link to your tumblr!), but especially 'Turn Me On Dead Man' which is terrifying and perfect

- 'swallow back that fear' by softsmilesandbrokenhearts - because Jim, I love Jim :( <3 This I feel is the peak level of Jim concern

- 'See Us In The Real Life' by RedheadAmongWolves - another excellent outsider POV that I ADORE <3

...that's just from a brief look at my bookmarks. So yeah. MANY <3333

Do you have a current fic obsession?

I mean, there's a lot, but right now the one I click on fastest whenever there's an update (and that is some competition!!) is 'You Like Me Too Much, And I Like You' - whoever is writing this, idk if you're even here, but I love you! Again it's not particularly how I see the characters but I just love how you're writing it and obvs I am here in the front row for any and all Paul whump haha <3

How seriously do you take fanfic writing?

On the surface not but then actually deep down I take it super fucking seriously, like, if I make one typo or mistake I WILL DIE. That is just my personality tbh. I am Paul and criticism hurts me :D

tagging: I shan't tag directly but please, other people, do this!! I did find it fascinating to analyse and I've loved reading other people's

nsfw bit below

Do sex positions (top/bottom) effect your enjoyment when reading or writing a fic?

Yeah, to an extent. I have clear preferences for both reading and writing and I tend to in most fandoms but here it's not so bad... especially because I feel the John/Paul dynamic in particular changes over time and is inherently very switchy. I've only written top John/bottom Paul so far, which is my preference, at least at the beginning, which is what I've addressed so far, but it does and will change and I'm fine with both writing and reading that. (As opposed to my other fandom where it is VERY VERY set and I find it hard to even contemplate them switching........ I have tried but my brain just slides off it lmao - very different context though and power differential especially, though in ways also very similar)

Do you have a preference over who’s who at all? If yes, then what are they?

Like I said above, I prefer bottom Paul in almost any pairing (apart from perhaps Paul/George?? and like idk Paul/Jane but even then...), but that's just personal preference, not based on much (though I could argue it...), and for John/Paul esp it changes both within a current dynamic and over time. One of the whole attractions of that pairing to me is that aspect, that they're relatively 'equal' in that and in most other respects, or at least they are in an ideal world and sort of aspire to be but that doesn't always work out...

Is there a kink you have to fight back including in every fic?

Hahaha oh god. This fandom has (re)awakened a hell of a lot of kinks that I kind of knew I had but had never written myself because I'd never found an appropriate outlet for them. So that's why I've just been sort of HEY GUYS HERE'S THE WORST THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN, AGAIN :D - so idk about any one kink, but... yeah, I do think that I cannot ever just write smut, it has to have some stupid emotional aspect to it, especially at the end. idk. That's what I like to read tbh so I try to write it too, and most of the time I cannot help myself, it just ends up with a devastating last line that ruins the rest of it, thank you, brain!! It's like an anti-kink tbh.

Otherwise: dirty talk. I am OBSESSED.

When do you feel comfortable adding a smut scene in your fic, if it matters to you at all?

idk. Some (most) of them are literally pwp and the smut is the point, and I haven't tended to do longer fics anyway so I haven't had this problem of feeling 'comfortable' to add a scene yet... But generally I do not plan at all, I just let the Muse flow, so if one happens then that's that :)

#fanfic #writing #meme

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thedreadvampy · 3 years

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Like idk what you want from me here. If you want to engage me in a specific question about ace/aro identities, as I've said several times and nobody has ever actually done, then ask me the specific question. Don't fuck around with vague gestures at Points of Discourse and then get cross with me because I haven't answered the Exact Question you Didn't Ask But Expected Me To Intuit.

Preface: If you don't want to answer any of these because you are allo/allo and don't have a say because its not your place, say that. In fact, I'm asking these because you seem to do have opinions on things you shouldn't based off things you have said in the past.

I also want to state that I agree fully with your points about Martin- minus the blatant aphobia. Not just acephobia, arophobia as well.

1. Do you think qprs are problematic? I believe you once made a post saying roughly that qprs are just normal friendships, or something like that, that has since been deleted. What is your current opinion?

2. Are het aros lgbt?

3. Are het aces lgbt?

4. Cis aro/aces lgbt?

5. Cishet aro/aces?

6. Do the spectrums and micro identities exist? You've implied in the past they don't, in the post about how they were supposedly created from sex positivity

7. Can aros be in or desire romantic relationships?

8. Can aces have or desire sex?

9. Does the split attraction model exist and does it benefit people?

10. Can teenagers identify as aro/ace or do you think they're too young?

11. Can you be, say, an aroace lesbian, or an aroace gay, aroace bi, etc. Idk how to phrase this one but like can you be aroace and still id with another orientation?

I could send another anon detailing the aphobia in the post, because I at least am certainly not upset about Martin being sexual, rather it was the very blatant aphobia. It could have stemmed from ignorance, and if that's the case I don't mind explaining it.

Ok this is a lot of questions, some with quite involved answers, so I'm gonna answer them chunk by chunk so it's a bit more manageable, and then I might come back to some of the surrounding message. This isn't gonna be an immediate bang bang bang, but I'll try and work through them over the next couple of days.

Question 1

1. No, I don't think qprs are problematic. I don't necessarily understand them but I don't need to understand them to understand and respect that they're a thing that's important to a lot of people. I don't know what post you're referring to, but I'm surprised that you say it was deleted, because I very rarely delete posts except, occasionally, reblogs where people have flagged up misinformation or dogwhistles or which I reblogged by accident. tbh I'm the messiest online presence I'm way too lazy to delete past posts or block people even when I probably should bc I don't like to feel like I'm ~hiding evidence~. So I'm not saying you're wrong, you're probably totally right, but I'm surprised.

I'm thinking about what posts I've made that you could be thinking of, and obviously I don't remember everything I say on here bc I say A Lot and I actively post to get things out of my head so 🤷‍♀️ but I do remember making a post a while ago where I said that it was a normal expectation of friendship to have some friends close enough that you'll live with them, raise kids with them, etc, and I'm wondering if that was the post you're thinking of? I did have qprs in mind while writing that to a degree, but only because I think 'you wouldn't do this with your friends' is a very common argument people put forward about qprs and I think it's a weak argument, because many people have different definitions of friendship, and the only argument I think is needed for any sort of I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing is...I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing. Like you can't offer a universal materialist definition of the differences between romantic, queerplatonic, sexual and platonic relationships, because the boundaries are very personal and it's really an emotional and experiential difference. so if that is the post you're thinking of, I wasn't criticising The Concept Of QPRs as much as saying that I thought trying to put hard lines around What Friends Do Vs What QPPs Do was a) counterproductive when arguing with someone who thinks QPR is Just Normal Friendships bc. if they do those things with their friends then saying NO THIS IS A QPR THING just reinforces their existing belief that you're talking about the same thing as they mean by friendships and b) to me seems to set a painful expectation to young people that you can only get these kinds of close friendships occasionally and in the form of a QPR and it will be stigmatised and misunderstood (and depending on how people talk about it, is only accessible to aspec people and allo people should only expect it to come through romantic/sexual relationships), when in fact most people of most ages I know have friends with whom they can share things like housing, deep feelings, futures, finances, who they miss if they don't see for a few days, who are mutually supportive and vital to their wellbeing. I don't think that's mutually exclusive with the existence of QPRs though - like I personally don't know what the difference is between a QPR and a close friendship, but I also don't know what the difference is between a romantic relationship and a close friendship but I know there is one and I know it's not a question of What You Do but a question of How You Feel And Interact, and that's pretty hard to define in unambiguous terms.

Like generally I don't Not Think QPRs exist, and I think it's a dick move to try and tell people they're wrong about how they experience and define their relationships because???? how are you meant to know that better than the person whose relationship it is??? but I do think the way people talk about QPRs (both from the perspective of defending them and from the perspective of attacking them) is pretty rife with problems and I don't think it's invalidating the reality of QPRs to talk about where the arguments and language around them potentially falls down or has unexpected consequences.

On the other hand, I don't know if that actually is the post you're referring to - the reason I'm calling back to that is that that and a few resultant asks are the only time I remember talking about QPRs on here in the last year or so. So like, several of these questions reference past posts, which is very fair, but I do need it to be clear that, since I don't really tag anything and I don't have a great memory, I can only really speak to What I Think Now In This Context, not to what I posted in the past and what I was thinking when I posted it. Like, this isn't too deny responsibility - I reckon I'm responsible for what I post even if I don't still agree with it, which is why I don't tend to delete my own posts on purpose - but just to deny capacity, I guess? I don't really KNOW what I've posted so if you talk about it in vague terms (and I do understand that if it's been deleted there's not a lot you can do but that) I may not necessarily be responding to the part of it that's worried you, so if I'm not speaking to something specific I've said or done, it's not because I Don't Want To, I just don't necessarily know to.

I'm waffling about this because looking through your messages there's a lot of "you said X" and like. given that the intended message of the post that's kicked this off was very different to the message people have taken from it, it feels important to me to know whether if I looked at the posts you're referencing I'd be like "ah yeah I did believe that but now I believe X" or if it's more a situation of "oh right I can see how you took X from that but my thinking was more Y".

(also sometimes when people say "you made a post" they mean "you reblogged a post" and I am a compulsive discourse scroller so sometimes I reblog a random post to bookmark my place on someone's discourse blog or I accidentally longpress the reblog button while scrolling - I try to delete reblogs that I don't agree with but sometimes I miss some, all of which to say if there's a post on my blog that doesn't seem to reflect what I say in my original posts then it doesn't necessarily mean I'm a crypto-whatever so much as I'm very lazy and messy with my blog. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be held accountable for reblogs but it's useful to know if we're talking original content or reblogs bc I'm unlikely to fully accidentally make a post. but I quite often accidentally reblog stuff. I doubt this is the case with this sitch just bc of your phrasing but I want to cover my bases)

anyway tl;dr: no I don't believe that QPRs themselves are inherently problematic, nor do I think I have at any point believed that, but I do think that a lot of the language and ideas used to talk about them are based in miscommunication or absolutist ideas about relationships and can have damaging knock on effects.

#i recognise that your past ask implied that it was somehow evasive to answer in long form #so sorry but this is gonna get loooong #but I'd rather be long and honest than say something snappy and absolutist that doesn't reflect what i actually think #so yeah this is gonna go ooooooooooon

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idlecreature · 3 years

Text

the buried fic comment from hell (it's so long i'm SO SORRY, I GOT EXCITED)

DEL.. I WASN’T SURE IF IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO LEAVE A LONG ASS COMMENT ON UR BURIED FIC IN PUBLIC….. SO I’M DROPPING IT HERE i’m so sorry in advance this is about to be a mess,, i’m so fucking emotional right now

((the review under the cut is in response to my fic which can b read here))

okay first –

The mental image of tiny gangly Barnabas and Jonah crouched with their hands in the dirt….. is so fucking cute?? I could feel Jonah’s jealousy just burning off of him. You had me right away. Fuck. You know how to open a story and I’m deeply envious, I’ve always struggled with it. Also, you threw in that little hook:

Despite what Jonah believes, there are some things that just can’t be explained in words.

Barnabas’ voice is so fucking good… guh… you know. I didn’t much care about Barnabas in any deep way before I joined the Jonah server and you guys have all just completely GUTTED me, I can’t believe how much I care about this highly-strung bastard,, he is so GOOD. HE’S SO GOOD???? HE’S SUCH A SWEETIE. LIKE. BARNABAS FEELING GUILTY AND HORRIFIED THAT PEOPLE ARE GRATEFUL TO HIM AND WANT HIM AROUND???? AAAAAAAAAA. And the melancholy aspect, too, which I imagine is how Mordechai was able to relate to him, get attached to him… Barnabas being bitter about how useless his tears are while he’s crying anxiously at the prospect that he might not be able to help those families after all…….

All of those scraps of Barnabas’ letter to Jonah made such EXCELLENT transitions, holy hell. Again I am inspired by your storytelling prowess. I am taking notes, for whenever my ability to write longform fic returns from war. This one was my favorite, made my heart clench:

A good world starts with a good person and a few choices that are made with the heart—

He’s so earnest I’m going to weep ;_; Barny.. you can’t make Jonah a better person he’s AWFUL,,

(Side note, super digging that I can indent stuff, block quoting makes this SO much easier.)

Also really digging that Jonah doesn’t have as nice a reputation as Barnabas… Jonah is the bad influence friend lmfao. AND JONAH’S CAT… I LOVE HIM…

And then you delivered a swift blow straight to the religion kink, as promised… “There’s something undeniably old testament about Jonah; the fire and fury of creation, the self-annihilating stare of Lot’s wife.“ LOSING IT I’M LOSING IT… WHAT A WAY OF DESCRIBING HIM God, here I thought I couldn’t possibly be more attracted to this bastard man. I am aghast at myself.

LOSING IT EVEN MORE OVER BARNABAS STACKING TEACUPS ON JONAH’S HEAD???? Why must you make them so fucking cute oh NO this is going to hurt isn’t it. ((This was the note I stuck in the Word doc while I was reading it and I thought I’d leave it as was for your enjoyment))

“Taking cues from your dreams?” Barnabas replies. “You know only the desperately mad do that?”

“Or desperately inspired—savants and prophets and visionaries.”

And then you continued to try to kill me… Jonah thinking of himself as a prophet……. hhhhh canon-typical overambitious zealotry I’m HERE FOR IT………

“Are you trying to make me angry with you by playing the devil’s advocate?”

“Just testing you,” Jonah says in his alloyed voice, silver-and-honey-gold.

Del I cannot stress enough… My religion kink………. It’s been SO VERY ACTIVATED.

“Your morality has only ever been a thin cover for your shame.”

OUCH, JONAH, JESUS

Every bit of their dialogue was so familiar and tinged with bittersweetness and I owe you my entire life… Sincerely. Ugh. Like, how you described Barnabas’ internal angst about it later on – when he’s thinking of Mordechai, and he refers to "his many dog-eared fantasies” about Jonah it just really vividly conjured the thought of he and Jonah having a sort of? Queer solidarity, ESPECIALLY having grown up together. And that makes Jonah’s flash of betrayal at Barnabas not wanting to be SEEN with him that much more agonizing, personally. Like. I’ve had that happen to me more than once in real life. And much as Jonah is a piece of shit who is absolutely manipulating him………. still, ouch. Ouch. (Barnabas’ thoughts on the company Jonah keeps also made me wince. You did an AMAZING job with all of the internalized shame and frantic rationalizations, hooooooboy.)

The Lukases being colorblind is such an interesting piece of lore by the way I love it????? Now I have. Some questions, about Peter. Mordechai’s characterization in this is so fascinating to me. I’m enTRANCED by how you reverse-Uno’d it so that Barnabas was the reason Mordechai lost himself to the Lonely… the power dynamics……. so tasty. Ugh. And all of the sensual descriptions, especially of that first visit Barnabas had at Moorland house?? I didn’t clip any because I would have ended up clipping the whole fucking thing. It was aching, haunting, beautiful, holyshit. Their romance is somehow more fucked up than Barnabas and Jonah’s…

Also, I was so eager to read this I skipped the tags/warnings and completely didn’t realize Mordechai was going to be an actual vampire so that was a VERY fun surprise lmfao.

Barnabas feels like he’s close to learning something about violence and desire, how close they are, how the wires can get crossed.

THIS QUOTE IS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEE ugh I’m having an aneurysm over how Jonah managed to fashion Barnabas into a creature that could understand him by gifting him to Mordechai for a while… letting Mordechai crack him open at the points where he was already brittle and experience an influx of some of the true darkness of the world. Just a tasty taste. That way when he discovers the truth of Jonah’s occult interests he won’t run away, because he’s already got his own fingers in the mess. He’s already given himself to one horror, why not Jonah? Shave some of the shine off of his morality, make him nice and gray so he won’t contrast so much with Jonah… And satisfying his curiosity at the same time. Two birds.

Oh, also, still sobbing about this line:

he realises that he doesn’t want to wear any colours that Mordechai can’t properly see.

EVERY TIME I let my guard down for ten seconds you smacked me with more of Barnabas being the most precious bleeding heart in the universe!!!!!! He aches so much for the people he’s trying to help and he hates people like Mordechai but part of him also wants to save Mordechai, somehow… maybe recognizes the parts of him that are like these people, still. Nearly faded but not quite gone yet. And as you’ve already established, Barnabas simply cannot let things go. Can’t disappoint people… can’t leave them when he could be doing something. Anything. Augh, FEELINGS.

Of course he knew Mordechai and Jonah were friends, he’d just temporarily believed in a sane and fair universe where things like this don’t happen.

AND YOU HAD SUCH A PERFECT BALANCE OF HUMOR… This could have been such a feelbad fic, and tbh it still would have been spectacular. But you always eased it at just the right moment to keep it from going off the rails into irretrievable deepdark territory. Fed me little soft moments so I’d still be vulnerable enough to have my HEART RIPPED OUT LATER…

I’m not super interested in the Buried canon-wise but I love how you’ve written Barnabas’ natural affiliation with it… so subtle but powerful? (Of COURSE Jonah was jealous, lmao. He had to work so hard and he’s still not on Barnabas’ level. There’s some kinda beautiful commentary on ambition versus goodwill in there somewhere but I’m too busy nursing my battered little heart right now to articulate it.) It wove its way in and out of the rest of the plot so naturally, too. For some reason it compliments Barnabas’ temperament as I read it in canon just… so well. Was there a discussion about this on the server, and if so, PLEASE tell me about it sometime I’m so fascinated.

Jonah wasn’t even present for a lot of the fic but his characterization was so INTENSE and luminous, Christ… I know I already praised it a bit but. Woof. I wasn’t expecting to get a taste of his POV at the end and I was so excited I kicked my feet (my cat was very disgruntled) like, this line!!!

Now, he thinks there’s some truth in those false statements, in the lies we tell and why we want to be believed.

GOD, YOU’RE REALLY GONNA GIVE ME FEELINGS ABOUT JONAH AND FUTURE-JONAHLIAS IN THE SAME FIC?????? EVIL… I’m so so so fucking here for it, oh my God, Jonah with an amplifying anxiety disorder, THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY… too bad the Eye doesn’t let you see the future, Jonah, lmao… the line “immortality just made his anxiety turn nuclear” is SEARED into my brain now, I am NOT accepting canon to contradict this ever again. I’ve always wondered how Jonah’s neuroses might have worsened in two entire fucking CENTURIES and I love the way you wrote it. I am fucking. Losing my mind.

There’s so many other things I could comment on, like. The brief but glorious Jonah-grinding-himself-off-on-Barnabas’-thigh shenanigans. Was incredibly hot, and Mordechai’s poor fragile heart breaking, and Barnabas telling Isabel that it’s fine to call him Barny…….. I’m hhhhhhhhHHHH fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m just!! I am incomprehensible!!! Everyone told me this fic was amazing but it’s fucking amazing, Del, what the hell. I’m never gonna be the same after this. The end was SHOCKINGLY sweet and I have WHIPLASH.

………… So, now that I’ve made you read a novel. Hah. Sorry. My point is. I loved every bit of this. It deserved heaps more praise but my eyes are starting to cross. Thx for sharing :’)

Love,

Tony xx

TONY. TONY THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. FIRSTLY I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS. SECOND OF ALL, THANKS TO YOU I’LL BE SCREAMING FROM THE ROOFTOPS FOREVER HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW THIS REVIEW HAS AFFECTED ME? IT’S THE BEST FEEDBACK I’VE EVER RECIEVED IN MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE A FIRSTGRADER GETTING THEIR FIRST GOLD STAR I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD LIKE I COULD THROW THE JEWEL OF THE SEA OFF THE SHIP AND LEAN OVER THE RAILINGS BECAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE AROUND ME TONY IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN A FIREPLACE KEEPING ME WARM THROUGH THE WINTER MONTHS I LOVE YOU DEARLY FOR THIS YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE CHAMPION IF YOU WERE IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW I WOULD FRENCH KISS YOU WITHOUT HESISTATION UNTIL THE BOTH OF US HAVE RUN OUT OF AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING BLESS YOU TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#fic review #mayormurdock #what the fuckkkkkk tony when are you getting your sainthood #long post #submission

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