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ventisehe · 3 years

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crying on their wedding day / genshin impact / part one

this was a request from my old account and i am only transferring it here. there is a part two to this but i got busy with school and organizing my new account, as well as thinking over deleting my old account.

since bennett is fifteen or sixteen, his part will be a little different from the others. with aether, he is hundred years old so his part if just like the rest. this is unedited and i wrote it at night when i was supposed to be farming so please bear with me hehe.

requested by: @bakuhoe-is-my-bakubro

includes: diluc, zhongli, childe/tartaglia, aether, bennett

warning: unedited, not proofread

part two

THOSE WHO WOULD SHED A SINGLE TEAR

DILUC

After losing his father and his horrible fall out with Kaeya, Diluc has become a firm believer that a man can truly live as an island, to some extent. As much as possible, he kept to himself and worked alone. Having people share his burdens with him did not appeal to him. In fact, it miffed him, as it made him feel indebted to them.

He limited his interaction with everyone, especially those who are part of the Knights of Favonius, favoring solitude above else. But of course, this did not entail bad social ethics to others.

He treated his maids and employees with civility and respect, the same can be said with his patrons whenever he worked behind the counter (it would certainly be bad for his business if he behaved aloof to them) and those he was once close friends with. He always behaved appropriately to them, although he must admit he can be quite insulting to the Knight, he always stood behind an invisible barrier, careful not to cross it and grow attached to anyone.

He has long given up with amorous relationships. After all, what good would he be as a lover if he could not provide his woman the love and care she deserved? Surely, he cannot let a maiden suffer with his inadequacy as a potential husband. He is aware of how hectic his schedule is (he hardly has enough time for himself so spending time with his lover would be proven difficult) and how poorly he expresses his feelings, thoughts, and emotions. In a relationship, in marriage, communication is the key for it to be successful, and already then, he has failed. He may be a cold man at first glance, but he will not put a woman in s distressing dilemma, not intentionally anyway.

Being the richest man in Mondstadt and being considered attractive by many, Diluc was not foreign to having women throw themselves at him, attempting to seduce him. If maintaining a relationship with a woman with his current tribulations was hard, finding a woman who truly love and understand him was even harder. He has no means of deciphering who were pure with their intentions and those who sought him for his money and influence.

And he accepted his fate without easily, without question. This was the way it was supposed to be in the first place. Diluc Ragnvindr - a lone man, who lived in too big mansion, sleeping on a bed too big for him. It was all he knew. The bright days of his childhood long forgotten.

But then you came to his life so suddenly.

"Master Diluc," Began Jean, a polite smile over her lips. "This is ( Your Name )".

All it took was for you to give him shy smile to have his walls broken down, and for his heart to yearn for what he has resolutely denied himself of for years. And it twisted him, and not in a way he welcomed.

Diluc tried so damn hard to push you away. He avoided your presence, and made it his point to show you he wanted nothing to do with you, and made no attempt to cover it and ignored how his heart broke every time your smile fell. He resolutely refused to yield to your sincere advances.

He treated you the same way be treated everyone, to show you how you were no different from everyone. You were just another dot in his life waiting to be erased and thrown in the back of his mind.

But the harder he pushed, the harder you pulled. In his brightest days and in his darkest days, you have never strayed far and welcomed him with open arms. You always went out of your way for him.

It was hard not to fall in love with you? Why did you have to make things so difficult?

It wasn't too long until he was falling asleep in his bed with you in his embrace, his heart feeling light, warm and content. He hasn't feel like this in a long time - safe, and at home. Diluc found home from someone he tried to push away.

The horror of what could have happened if he had been successful weighed down on him, and it took quite an assurance from you to make him remember that he has failed, and you were his, as he was yours.

Back then, he thought your persistence was bothersome. But as he stood at the altar right now, watching you enter with your white wedding dress, he was grateful you never gave up on him.

Diluc cannot describe how beautiful you looked as you graced everyone in the place with your presence.

Your eyes locked with him, and his heart soared in his chest. And when you smiled at him, an excited gleam in your eyes - he cannot help but smile back.

Time cannot be any slower, and the aisle cannot be any longer. And have you always walked this slow? Or were you just teasing him?

Diluc's breath hitched - Perhaps you knew how much he wanted to get this over with so he can have you all to himself in the comfort of his room.

And when he saw you smiling mischievously at him, he knew that he was right.

His words failed to describe how beautiful you looked. His words failed the joy he was feeling. May Barbatos have mercy on him

But the tear that escaped the corner of his eye explained everything.

"Oh, what is this?" His best man whispered beside him, a teasing tone lacing his voice. "Master Diluc is crying. Why, I never thought I'd see the day."

Diluc shot him a glare. "Do not make me regret making you my best man, Kaeya."

Kaeya laughed. "Ah, ah, ah," He chimed. "Your wife won't be pleased if we fight at your wedding day."

A warm and pleasant feeling coursed through him. His wife.

"She's not my wife yet." Said Diluc.

Kaeya looked at you as you walked down the aisle. "And in just a few minutes, I'll have two Ragnvindr to annoy." He patted his brother on the back, smiling a genuine smile for the first time. "Congratulations, Diluc."

ZHONGLI

Zhongli, or Rex Lapis for that time, has watched over Teyvat for thousands of years and has witnessed firsthand how kings and tyrants rose and fell, how kingdoms were born, how camaraderie are conducted, how romance makes a man foolish and blinded, how society flourished in the hands of mortals as Archons guarded them from their resting place, and throughout the tales of humans, his eyes has laid upon many beauties.

But you? Oh, even the most esteemed bard of all realms could never bring the satisfactory glory to your name and pulchritude.

How dearly Zhongli missed the unspeakable power, money and authority he had back before he revoked his own position as a deity, keeping a close eye over Liyue and his people. But if ever presented with the opportunity to return to his rightful place as part of the Seven, he shall graciously decline, casting his gaze away and simply returning to your side.

After all, what benefit would he gain from it when he already has his heart is content in the possession of a mere mortal, a mortal he loved and adored. He would dream of ever choosing his old power over you, and that can be affirmed when he asked for your hand as the two of you took an evening stroll outside Liyue.

He has fallen for you and he cannot rise again. A gentle and kind woman with an understanding and patience which knows no bounds. If not for his revelation that he has accomplished all his duties and has come to decide to resign from his reign, your existence may be another reason for him to take the form or a mortal and ask for your hand.

He can still recall that faithful day when he first met you at the harbor. He stood by a high balcony, overlooking Liyue Harbor with arms crossed. The sun beat down against Liyue grounds and his skin, but it also casted an ethereal glow on you as you exited one of the ships that stopoed at the docks. And may he boldly say the sun was outshined that day, and his heart has been taken.

Zhongli can only imagine how many men has chased after you, but failed to woo you.

Zhongli understood the concept of love. After all, Liyue and every living being that sought shelter in its walls were close to his heart, but never in his life has he felt the way he felt for you. It was the sort of phenomena he observed between lovers for centuries - unconditional love and care, a sanctuary in the arms of their beloved, an individual to trust and come home to whether the day has been kind or unkind.

What he thought were trivial matters and the means of mortals for survival he has tasted its sweet flavor, and it was by your hand did he receive it. And he was thankful that you have found him worthy of being with you, and soon, being one with him in the contract of marriage.

And thus came the faithful day, the very day he longed to come ever since you have accepted him as your husband to be, and the day you have dreamt of every night you laid with him.

Zhongli counted the months, weeks, days, and if he had the ability to, minutes until the day of your wedding. He has a calendar in his room and everyday, he enthusiastically crossed out every passing day, watching as his wedding with you grow closer.

And when it finally arrived, Zhongli followed a meticulous routine to prepare himself, using expensive oils and perfume to which the Fatui money has provided splendidly. After all, he wanted to look the best he can for you. You deserved only the best of things, and he shall not hold back on anything to please you.

Though Zhongli, most of the time, was a calm man even under the eye of tribulations, when he stood at the altar in front of his close friends and colleagues, he can't help but feel anxious.

Of course he has no doubt in your love for him. He holds on your every word of love and affection as true, and his love for you was as hard as stone. Rather, it was he who doubted himself and his capabilities.

He wondered if he would be able to take care of you, love you the way you should be, bring a smile to your lips, and a laugh out of your mouth. If he had been Rex Lapis still, he would have easily uphold his duties as your husband. After all, what can an Archon not do?

It would be Childe, his best man, who would console him. He would tell Zhongli he is more than capable to care for you. He has a stable job (not to mention his connection with the Fatui), he was eager to please you and give you about everything if he can, he has a kind heart, he was a man who can manage his time wisely and never choose his profession over you, and above all, he loved you. Not many men can afford the luxury of being this perfect, but Zhongli was no man, not originally at least.

He will be unconvinced of what Childe has said. This unease in him was hard to diminish. Not being enough for you will tear him apart. The thought of it just gnawed at him. Will he make you happy? Will you regret marrying him when you realized life married to him wasn't as you expected?

It was only when the doors opened, and his wide and anticipative eyes darted over to the other end of the place did every little doubt in his mind is erased.

You stood by the entrance wearing the white dress you have fought hard not to show him until this day.

That bright smile on your face, those eyes that shimmered at the sight of him, the faint red on your cheeks - Zhongli did not even notice how love stricken he looked, and nor did he notice a tear cascade from corner of eye.

It was only when Childe stifled a laugh and pointed it out did he feel the dampness at the side of his face.

He forgot how to breathe when you finally stood before him. Even a veil cannot conceal your beauty.

With twinkling eyes, you smiled at him - like he was the only person in the room.

"Are you crying?" You ask playfully.

Zhongli will let out a chuckle, and as he take your hands in his, he said, "In such a beautiful day like this with the loveliest lady in Teyvat before me, how can I not?"

Indeed it was a beautiful day, made better when your lips met his.

He can't stop a few more tears from slipping.

THOSE WHO WOULD BAWL THEIR EYES OUT

CHILDE/TARTAGLIA

Childe understood his duties as a Harbinger even if his playful and flirtatious facade may say otherwise. He kissed hands of women and paid them golden compliments until their mind went hazy with his feigned affection, but he was still a Fatui at the end of the day - a ruthless and greedy scoundrel who had too much Mora in his hands.

And it was because of his line of work that he decided never to commit himself. If he was to find himself infatuated with a woman and she reciprocated his feelings and desired to pursue a relationship with him, it would inevitably drag her to the dangers entailed to his position.

The last thing he wanted was someone to dear to him to be harmed, not to mention his lover could become his weakness, she could be taken by his enemies and be used against him, thus, making things more complicated and harder for him to fulfill his duties to the Tsaritsa.

To him, nothing is more important than seeing through his mission with the finest quality of work he can give.

So damn you for coming into his life and distracting him. Damn you for bringing another bright to his life. Damn you for taking care of his family when he was gone. Just - damn you for making him fall for you.

He hated this - the feeling of being weak, of being vulnerable, of laying his guard down. One touch from you and he's no better than the people he despised for being so frail and powerless.

How ever do you possess this prowess to make him so dependent on you, to relish in your voice when you sing to him as the two of you laid together in his bed, how he let his defenses crumble when you whisper his name, the tug of his heart when you he sees you getting along so well with his family.

Childe wanted you. He wanted you more than anything and anyone in Teyvat. He was going crazy thinking about you.

He refused to acknowledge his feelings at first, thinking perhaps he can use you to comfort him and his family in these troubling times. That's all you were supposed to be, a tool for him to make his family feel better whenever he goes off to accomplish his work as a Harbinger.

But he couldn't stomach the thought of using you like that. He didn't want you to treat like a toy. And it did not help that one day, when he was returning from a mission, you come rushing to him and blurting out your feelings and your worry for his safety.

You loved him. Did he hear you right? You love a Fatui, and a Harbinger, no less. Surely, you aren't that stupid to fall for him.

And yet he smiled a sincere smile at your confession, and he too followed your steps. That night, he was at his weakest. Just relishing in your arms and ridding all the responsibilities over his shoulders. He can forget all his faults for a moment, with you. A peace of mind and heart was found in you.

Childe watched as you played with his fingers, and then he spoke. “Aren’t you afraid?”

You hummed. “Afraid? Of what?”

Childe shook his head and held your hand which toyed with his digits. You looked up at him, puzzled.

“Of me.” Said Childe, pulling your hand and holding it close to his chest. He closed his eyes, almost terrified of what your answer can be. “Of what I can bring to your life. I’m a Harbinger, [ Your Name ]. Your life is at stake just being with me. Do you know what you’re in for for loving me?”

You gazed at him, and he can’t see anything in your eyes. He let out a small gasp when you leaned in and kissed his cheek.

“I’m not afraid of you or anything this world can throw at me.” You confessed. “You’re going to protect me, Tartaglia. I know you will. I trust you. I love you.”

And fucking hell, did he protect you.

He tried to hide you from his fellow Harbingers, and especially to his enemies. Not because they will use you to get the upper hand against him, a leverage. No, he wanted to hide you, as long as he can anyway (because it won't be long until his secret is out, walls do have ears), to protect you. No one will lay a hand or even get a single strand of your hair. May the Archons have mercy on anyone who dares put you in the middle of the dangers of his job, because he surely won't.

Because of this, you and Childe decided to get married in secret, with no one else but Zhongli, the traveler, and their floating companion to be your witnesses in becoming one. The two of you knew well of the consequences your decision shall birth, but it's the one you're making. Nothing in this can stop Childe from making you his wife, and treating you as such.

Childe could not wait for the ceremony to begin. Even with such a small crowd - very small indeed - he did not hold back to make this day special for you. The finest of everything is what you deserved, and if he could give more, he would. But for now, all he can give you is himself, and he dearly wished he was enough.

The whole time, as he waited for you to emerge from the doors of the small cathedral the two of you chose to be wed in, he kept imagining how his life would be like with you.

Waking up beside you was the thing he looked forward to the most. When the sunrays peeked from closed curtains and cascaded down your slumbering form, a gentle and even breaths leaving your lips, a soft expression of rest - the thought of it filled his heart with warmth, a kind of warmth only you can evoke from him.

Waking up at your side on his bed always reminded him thst you were indeed there, and his. Soon, he'll be waking up beside you with a soft smile on his lips, a reminder that you were there, but now as his wife.

Childe never really considered him emotional. It was part of his discipline as a Harbinger never to let his emotions get the better of him. But when you stepped into the cathedral wearing the wedding dress you personally chose and had hidden from him for so long, a veil over your face but the soft smile still just as bright as the morning sun, it all came crashing down to him.

Childe wanted a lot of things in life. But what he wanted the most was to spend the rest of his life with you - providing for you, protecting you, comforting you, falling deeper in love with your every single day. All this he will do until his dying breath, and he knew you'd do the same.

His dream was walking towards him, never taking her eye off him as she approached the altar.

He can hear Paimon clapping and the Traveler reprimanding her for being a little too loud. He can hear Zhongli saying something to him but he couldn't understand a word he said. But he was too lost in his realization that you're going to marry him.

You chose him, a man with too many faults and imperfections.

Just as you arrived at the small steps leading towards the altar, the tears Childe has been trying to hold back streamed down his face, small hiccups escaping his lips.

You stared at him, worried. "Tartaglia, are you alright?"

Childe would try to formulate an answer but through his tears and hiccups, he couldn't make a single comprehensible word. His posture was regal and proper, as though he was trying to fool everyone that he wasn't crying.

How can you ask if he was alright? How can his heart handle how beautiful you looked right now?

"Excuse me, ( Your Name )," Zhongli interjected as he stepped beside Childe. "It seems that your soon to be husband needs a moment to collect himself. Please, excuse us."

Zhongli led Childe back to his room, and the Harbinger did not fight back. He was still crying even when the doors has closed behind him. Zhongli stood by the door, watching the Fatui sit on his bed, trying to stop himself from bawling.

Childe can feel guilt crawling up to him as he realized what he had done. What was supposed to the most perfect day, your most perfect day, was ruined because of him.

He was scared to think what you thought of him now. Were you resenting him for what happened? Did you still wish to marry him?

If only he had controlled his emotions much better. He shouldn't have let his joy break through him in tears.

"She was crying too, you know," Spoke Zhongli.

Childe raised his head to look at the former Archon. "Huh?"

"Your bride, she - " He smiled at him. " - she was crying too. She's happy to be marrying you."

Childe can feel his heart hammering against his chest in delight at what he said.

"So don't keep her waiting."

Childe bawled his eyes out once more when the words - "I do," - left your lips.

AETHER

When his sister was taken from him, Aether was a lost and wandering soul in Teyvat with the sole purpose of finding her.

Throughout his journey, he met different people from different regions. He learned their values and cultures, he grew to love the world he used to be a stranger to, he was able to utilize different sorts of Visions, and yet, despite all of this, Aether was lonely. Paimon - bless her pure soul - tried her best to keep his spirits and bring a smile to his face (he assumed she too felt the hollowness inside of him) but it was all futile as he often find himself seeking solitude and gazing out in an open field wondering where his twin could be and how she was fairing on her own.

He will let the cool breeze comfort him, but all it left was a searing kiss of reality that his search might have been all for naught. That very concept his mind was conjured haunted him in his every waking days. Is he still journeying through Teyvat and reaching out to all Archons with a solid purpose? Was he no wasting his time looking high and low for someone who could not be looking at the sky as he?

"And what if she is?"

Your words is what got his attention. Aether met you in the evening when the stars and the moon was absent from the skies. He sat on a fallen log overlooking the city of Mondstadt, alone and cold. Paimon has insisted in him accompanying him, but he had snuck away before she can chase after him. He needed to be alone with his thoughts, and with the scarce time he has for himself, he has to make the most of every night that comes.

Lumine was in his mind, and worry was gnashing its teeth at him. He was deep in his own world, sinking to the hands of his tragic thoughts, that he did not hear footsteps trekking the hillock he was at. Nor did he realize he was speaking his own worries in the air, eyes distant and staring blankly at nothing.

"What if she's not even looking for me?" That's what he remembered saying that time.

Then you made your presence known with an answer that refuted his initial thought. He whirled his head to the side, wide eyes with surprise. You stood next to him with a faint smile, hands behind your back and the moon slowly peeking from the shroud of clouds. A light in the darkness, the moon was. And so you were you to him.

"Sorry," You apologized, sheepishly giving him a smile as you rubbed the back of your neck. "I didn't mean to interrupt. You were speaking out loud and-and I just had a feeling I needed to say something." You took in a deep breath, and Aether found the pink dusting your cheeks adorable. "I . . . I'll just go now - "

Aether didn't regret asking you to stay.

Before you came to his life, Aether did not know how much he was dwelling in the own hell he made. His inner tribulations, his worries, his insecurities - he only took notice the torture he was putting on himself when you keep saving him from his own mind.

At first, all he thought of you was a precious friend - someone he leaned on and entrusted with everything, whether it be secrets or help with his quests. He told you about his past, his twin, how exactly he was different from the people of Teyvat, how he and sister fought an unknown god, how she slipped from his fingers when he reached out for her, how much he wanted her back. He was terrified of what you may think of him when he told you these things, but to his surprise, all you did was wrap him in your arms and comforted him.

Along with Paimon, you were his dearest friend.

But as time passed, the longer you accompany him and Paimon in his travels, he noticed something strange. The way his heart skipped a beat when you smile at him, how he can't keep his eyes off you when you laugh at one of his tales, how his heart hammered ceaselessly when you press a chaste kiss on his cheek, the relief that seeps in his system when he sees you unscathed from a battle, how irritated he becomes when someone makes an offense against you, the joy that seizes him when he listens to you talking about something you loved, and how much he adored it when you scold him for being a little too reckless in fighting.

Aether, despite being older than he seems, did not know what to make of what he was feeling. It was strange, a good kind of strange - the kind of feeling that makes him feel like he was floating in the sky. All he thought of it was an overwhelming adoration for a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

It wasn't until Paimon pointed it out did he realize what he was feeling for you.

Upon learning his feelings for you, Aether couldn't sleep for many nights. He was plagued with the desires of his heart and his insecurities. It was like falling back to the same hellish pattern before you came along.

He was in this world for one reason only - to find his twin. And when he does - and he fucking will - he will depart from here with her and continue their travels. Leaving you was the last thing he wanted. He couldn't bear the thought of it. It felt like leaving a piece of him behind in Teyvat, a hole in the shape of your name.

The solution he had for this is directly confessing to you. Of course, the blond was a nervous wreck when he approached you and asked for a moment of your time. Paimon knew of his plan and wandered away for the time being, wanting to give the two of your privacy.

If you did not share the same feelings as he, he can already imagine the pain he will have to deal with, but it'll be much easier to leave. At least then he knows you won't be as hurt as he thought once he takes his leave. He never entertained the idea of you reciprocating his feelings. It would be foolish to - surely you can't find anything appealing with someone like him ; to which you rendered him speechless and a bumbling mess when you pressed your lips against his when he was in the middle of his confession.

Aether shouldn't be this happy with you. He loved you too much to see you hurt when he tells you that he must leave. He was not welcome in this world, he was an outsider, a being not under the authority or influence of any Archons.

But still, he spent months loving you, caring for you, doing anything to come back to you no matter what is thrown at him. He loved having you in his arms when you slept, he loved watching the stars with you at night, he loved you even with the inevitable arguments you two have - Aether was utterly and hopeless in love with you.

And thus, he decided to tell you what will happen after he finds his sister.

He knew he would be heart broken in seeing you cry, but it hurt more to see you smile at to him so genuinely and embraced him, saying, "You used to doubt you'll ever find your sister. It broke my heart everyday seeing you so hopeless, and I - " You composed yourself, shaking your head as your tried to gather your thoughts. " - now look at you," You cupped his cheek, the corners of your eyes wrinkling as your smile broadened. "I always knew the day will come when you have to leave me. When you told me you weren't from this world, I knew then I'll have to let go of you someday. But until that day comes - Aether - "

What a shock it came to him when you got down on one knee and presented to him a glittering ring - there was unconditional love and hope in your eyes. It was like looking back at his reflection. "Marry me, Aether, let me make you happy for the rest of the days we still have remaining until you leave."

Aether can never say no to you.

To his surprise, Master Diluc has already agreed to host your wedding at Dawn Winery. Aether was puzzled as to why he seemed unsurprised by the news of his engagement with you, and the Claymore wielding male answered, "( Your Name ) came to me for help when she planned to propose to you."

Aether knew Diluc, as much as possible, wanted to be alone. A lone wolf, he was. But with gratitude for what he has done, he asked him to be his best man. Diluc was startled by this requests but obliged. The red head might not show it but he was immensely flattered by Aether asking him to be his best now (and now time to subtly show it off to Kaeya).

At the day of the wedding, contrary to what he thought he would feel, Aether woke up with his an ache in his chest. He found himself looking out the window of his room, torn between his happiness and sorrow.

In a few hours, Aether will be able to adorn a ring on your finger, symbolizing your promises with one another. He shall be granted the sole blessing of calling your his wife. It was something he was looking forward to - seeing you in your wedding dress, watching as you walk down the aisle -

But Aether's mind kept drifting back to his sister - She would have wanted to be here. He thought.

Aether felt like he was committing a crime when he decided to take a walk just hours before his wedding. But he needed to clear his mind. Lumine never left his mind. He always thought that they would always be there for one another, or at least in big moments like this.

And yet she was still nowhere to be seen.

Is she still alive? Have I been wasting time? Is she still in danger? Is she lost in Teyvat as well?

"Didn't expect to run into you here."

His body tensed when he heard your voice, and he twirled around only to have his breath taken away.

You stood before him in the white dress he had longed to see ever since you proposed to him. He thought he would see a frown on your face, dismayed for his impromptu walk, but you wore a soft smile - a soft and understanding smile.

Aether did know what to say to you. He just stared at you, overwhelmed.

He opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't say anything. His shoulders slumped, and he sighed.

You approached him and kissed his cheek. He hummed in delight, eyes closing. "I hope you're not having second thoughts on marrying me." You told him.

Aether was quick to respond. He took your hand in his and kissed your knuckles. He looked into your eyes with affirming hues, "There is nothing I'm more sure of than marrying you."

You beamed at him. Seeing your face brighten up is always a beautiful sight for Aether, and it was enough for him to feel enlightened in the midst of his internal crisis.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Of course you can already tell something is bothering him. Aether shook his head. He has already ruined a small part of what is supposed to be a perfect day, he can't risk another mistake.

"I'm not going to push you to tell me anything." You stated.

Aether smiled. "Thank you." He replied. He gazed at you for a little while, taking you in. "Why are you out here anyway? And in your wedding dress too."

Your eyes widened and you looked down to assess his evaluation. "Oh Archons," You mewled. "I forgot I was wearing this." You let out a groan. "Great, now my surprise is ruined. I won't be able to see you cry when you see me walk down the aisle."

He laughed a little. "But still happy as ever to see you." He said. "So why are you outside?"

"Just . . . " You began, and Aether can detect a hint of nervousness in your voice. " . . . picking some flowers."

"I thought we already ordered flowers." Aether thought, frowning. "Did someone forget to deliver the flowers? I can call someone if - "

"No, I just wanted to pick some flowers, randomly. Like how you wanted to take a walk, randomly."

He looked at you with hesitant eyes. He didn't believe you. There was something hidden behind your motive to be out here. But like how you didn't press him with what was the problem, he did the same for you.

"Okay," He breathed out. "What flowers did you pick then?"

Aether's breath hitched when you pulled out a bundle of Windwheel Asters and several more flowers that was all too familiar with him.

He stared at the white flowers that combined with your Windwheel Asters, the very flowers that he remembered adorned his sister's hair.

"Aether? Aether are you okay?"

He stared at you with glistening eyes, his heart blossoming with adoration and gratitude. Without even meaning to, you managed to make everything alright.

"Yeah," He smiled at you. "I'm okay."

Aether thought when he stood at the altar, he would have Diluc trying to soothe his nerves as his insecurities slowly sink in his mind. But it didn't happen. Diluc merely stood by him with a relaxed expression, glancing at him every now and then.

"You don't look nervous at all." Diluc remarked.

Aether chuckled. "This is the only decision I fully know I won't regret."

Aether felt like it was his first time seeing you in your wedding dress. His heart was filled with the brim with utmost joy, but what caught his attention was the bouquet of flowers in your hands.

You told him before that you will have roses as your bouquet, but to his surprise, he can see the Windwheel Asters and the white flowers that reminded him of his sister.

His emotions was all over the place. He had no idea how he could look so calm. Somehow he managed to hold himself together until you finally stood before him.

When you stared at him behind the veil, he couldn't take it anymore. You were too perfect. How could he be so blessed with you?

Tears sprung to his eyes when you reached out to take his hands in yours. He retracted one of them to rub his arm across his eyes, wiping away the wetness that streamed to his face.

Why am I crying like a child in my wedding? Stop it!

He couldn't.

He only cried harder when you leaned forward, removed his arm from his eyes, made him look into your vibrant hues, to give a small peck on his lips - "You're okay, Aether."

BENNETT

Bennett understood his bad luck more than anyone. He had lived with and through it his entire life he graced the surface of the earth. It was almost pitiful to see the boy smiling ever so brightly as misfortune after misfortune comes hurtling his way, but to him? It was an everyday and normal occurrence, nothing he hasn't seen or experienced before. His spirits has never let their roaring flame vanish, however, and if it had not been for his bad luck, everyone would have been drawn to his warm, welcoming, affable, and cheerful soul.

But just because he was used to the constant array of debacle thrown his way, doesn't mean there were never days where he won't be upset over everything it brought to his life, and others as well, and wonder how long it will take until his unluckiness will lead him back to the very situation he was rescued from when he was a mere baby.

He forgot how long it was when he had experienced something good, miraculously so. The only time he can recall being so was when he encountered the Honorary Knight, convened with them as a temporary adventure team, and found a treasure chest containing items he has only dreamed of in his sleep deep within a domain. However, that was many moons ago, and nothing has ever compared to it ever since. The moment he departed from the Honorary Knight, his bad luck came instantly to bite him.

It was far too long ago. Sometimes, Bennett wondered if that would be the only good thing that can happen to him in his lifetime, and thank the Archons he was wrong because the very worst day that came upon him is a day he will never exchange for another - the day he met you. When it was raining, thunder in the distance, lightning striking trees and soil, his bruised and bleeding form hardly covered under a small and flimsy tent, you graced him with your presence, and an umbrella which you used to cover both of you.

He had never stopped admiring you ever since. His eyes always followed you, wide and shining. He remembered the warmth in his chest and the redness tinting his cheeks when you brought him to your abode and treated his wounds with care gentler than the Deaconess. When he told you what happened to him, he anticipated to he shoved out of the house immediately and have your front door slammed on his face, but you did not. When he warned you about his curse, telling you how you will be affected when you spend a little too much time with him, the look of fright did not cross your visage and you even insisted that he not leave your house until you were sure he was capable of moving without pain, even if you had instantly been affected by his unluckiness (you pricked your finger quite badly when you were stitching a deep wound of his. He always felt guilty for that and has not stopped offering his apologies whenever it pricks the corner of his mind).

Other than the team of adventurers who had saved him from peril when he was a baby, it was difficult to find someone who will stay with him, through bad times and more of it. One cannot simply imagine and comprehend the confusion and happiness that seized him when he found out you were spending more and more time with him, not out pity but because you enjoy his company (which was weird, but he'll take it).

You possessed no Vision, but Bennett never saw you in an inferior light. In fact, it impressed him how you can hold yourself without the aid of any power. Enemies took a little longer to eradicate but ultimately, you were always successful. He held you in high regard, and very much like a certain blond traveler, the poor boy thought it was merely friendship and respect he felt towards you. After all, wouldn't a friend accompany him in his adventures no matter what disappointing or gratifying the outcome is? Wouldn't a friend prepare meals for him before he goes off on a solo expedition? Wouldn't a friend stay up late up waiting for him to return after? Wouldn't a friend welcome him by the entrance of Mondstadt upon his arrival? Wouldn't a friend give him butterflies in his stomach? Wouldn't a friend make his heart pound in a way

It had taken the Traveler and his floating companion for Bennett to learn about how exactly he was feeling for you.

He liked you, and not in the way he liked the traveler or Razor - he liked liked you.

When he realized about his feelings, Bennett nearly short circuit every time you go near him. His face flush a rich color of vermillion, his confident posture stripped down to a coy and uncertain stance, his eyes darted and never meeting yours for too long, a sheepish smile painted over his brims - Bennett had never felt this way before. It was foreign to him - liking someone - and it was worse for him because you were his one of his few friends (you, Razor, the Traveler and their floating friend), and having you withdraw from him if you ever learned his feelings frightened him more than any Ruin Guard could.

He didn't bother entertaining the idea of you returning his feelings. With his bad luck, it was bound to end in a rejection, and he didn't believe he had the heart to accept the hurt that would come.

Bennett tried to keep his feeling a secret, he really, genuinely, did. He locked his feelings for you in a box and stowed away somewhere behind his mind. But it didn't take you too long to catch on. Bennett's theatrics wasn't as impenetrable as he originally thought because there was no other reason for you to corner him in a street in Mondstadt after he tried to avoid crossing paths with you, and admit your feelings to him.

"( Your Name )," Stuttered Bennett, eyes darting to the side to avoid your eyes as he pressed his back against the wall behind him. You gazed at him, a tint of red over your cheek.

Archon, how are you so adorable?

"Uh, hi," He greeted meekly, as he rubbed the back of his head. "I-I was just about to leave for an adventure - "

"Bennett," You spoke, and he froze at the tone of your voice.

He looked at you properly, gulping. Shy eyes, shy smile, shy, shy, shy - and yet somehow, Bennett thought the worse - that you found out about his feelings and was about to turn him down.

He almost got down on his knees and press his hands together in a praying position, head bowed, and beg to keep your friendship. It didn't matter if you did not share his feelings. You were more important than his stupid feelings. He can deal with the hurt of rejection that will soon to come, but losing you completely? Can he even come to terms with that?

But before he can do such humiliating display, you leaned in and pressed a kiss on his cheek,

It was almost too good to be true, and with someone like him, Bennett had to take a moment to comprehend what has happened. His feelings were reciprocated, opposite of what should have been considering his dilemma. How can this be? He was sure your friendship would be put to an end when you learn about what he felt for you. How did you even know that he liked you? Has he been too obvious? Surely not (he was). Perhaps you were merely toying with him, discovering his feelings and choosing to use it as a way to alleviate your boredom -

Horror struck him when he processed the message behind his doubt. How could he think so little of you? Someone as sweet and kind as you would be repulsed by the intention of the actions he thought you were presenting to him. Prideful as this may sound, Bennett believed he knew you enough to know you were sincere in everything you do.

But even if both your feelings are revealed to be mutual, the two of you agreed to wait until a certain age before forming a romantic relationship. The two of you are young and there are a lot more the world can offer outside Mondstadt. There are countless of opportunities to grow and be mature, to be able to have a set of qualities to take of one another.

But that didn't mean the two of you easily managed to hold back showcasing your favor for the other. Bennett will always find himself exchanging secret glances and smile with you whenever a third party joins in on your adventure. He would stick by your side in situations he think could potentially lead you to a major injury. He will attempt (and fail, unfortunately) to whip you up with something delicious when he has free time. And you did the same to him.

With you, there was never a time where his heart wasn't beating against his chest. He can't stop himself from bounding recklessly through his adventures whenever you accompany him, although he will still keep a close eye on you just in case something bad happens to you (but it's always him who ends up injured).

But what he liked the most are the kisses the two of you share. Short, chaste, and shy - whether it be behind closed doors, when others are looking away, or when the two of you set of on an adventure.

Bennett would lay in his bed with a smile on his face, his thundering heart preventing him from sleeping. He'll often find himself burying his face against his pillow, grinning from ear to ear.

This smile was different. This wasn't smile that he usually wore, the kind of smile that persevered through hardship after another. No, it was the sort of smile that was too carefree and too full of utmost joy, no worries or doubts in his heart. Everyday he always woke up to the excitement of adventure, but now, the excitement of it and seeing you once again always had him brimming with the want for the night to be over with so he can chase after his dreams with you. Chasing his dreams with you, what a life.

His world is full of a bad luck, but he thanked the Archons for giving him someone he can depend on in the troubling waters he always he seem to drown in.

Bennett, embarrassing it may sound, often laid on his bed imagining about marrying you.

He can see himself making a fool out of himself when he gets down on one knee and propose to you. It'll be set in the most beautiful place he discovered in one of his adventure, somewhere quiet. Like maybe on top of a mountain overseeing a vast field.

Because of his bad luck, he'll try to prepare for every outcome. To be very sure everything will be saved, he made sure he created a plan B for his plan A, a plan C for his plan B, and so on, and so forth.

He can imagine himself fumbling over his words, blushing a bright red was made prominent because of his white hair, holding a bunch of hand picked flowers a little too tightly, sweat pouring from his face, his suit and hair a little ruffled -

If you say yes (spoiler alert, you will), he will most probably go haywire with shock and happiness, causing him to drop the ring down the mountain, and the two of you will spend quite some time looking for it. But in the end, you two will find it somewhere deep underground or deep underwater (to which you will ask help to retrieve) (Bennett offered to go down to get the ring but you can’t take any chances) and then you can start planning the wedding.

If Bennett had backup plans for his proposal, then expect there'll be much more backups with your wedding. He needed this day to be perfect for you, and his bad luck won't stop him from providing it for you. Even if he had to fight through horde after horde of Hilichurls (please stop him when he does, he definitely will do that for you), making you happy is his top priority.

Bennett will be extremely anxious the day before the wedding. He'll be pacing around his room, and has half a mind of running over to your place and spending the night there to reassure himself that you still want to marry him, and that you’re absolutely sure you want to spend the rest of your life with him. It will be Razor - who the Traveler spent hours teaching the basic information of the role of Best Man to - who will calm his nerves. He’ll stop Bennett from reaching your house and carry him back to his own, and giving him a lecture (he did his best) like the best man he was.

Was he having second thoughts on marrying you? No way! He will just be nervous about how the wedding will go. With his bad luck, something horrible is bound to happen.

At the day of the wedding, Bennett can imagine himself constantly seeking reassurance from his best man.

"What if I mess up?" Questions Bennett to Razor, anxious hands fiddling with his tie.

"Messing up is . . . normal." Razor will reassure him, but Bennett will shake his head.

“But it's me. When I mess up, it's always . . . catastrophic . . . ”

Bennett hoped that at least for his wedding way, everything will go smoothly. A perfect day, for you and for him. He won't embarrass you or himself. He won't forget the rings, he won't have his clothes tucked inside out, he will not spill any food or drinks on himself or on his guests, there will be no random Hilichurl attacks - none of that.

He really hoped for the Archons to spare him from his bad luck.

He will be able to stand by the altar with confidence and a smile, waiting for you to walk down the aisle.

As Bennett is consumed with his thoughts, his eyes drew to the small table at the side of his bed and caught sight of the picture of the two of you perched on the surface. It was a picture you took with a kamera after one of his adventures. The two of you smiling happily as he showcased the loot of vegetables and wheat he gathered in numerous luxurious chests. It was good day, that picture was. He found more resources than usual. Of course, he learned from the Traveler that most of the chest they found contained treasures but hey, vegetables are better than nothing, right?

Bennett stared at your smiling face and can feel the heat creep on his cheeks as he imagined you in a pretty, white wedding dress, smiling at him so shyly and cute - oh, Archons, help him. May them have mercy on him. Of course, you always looked pretty to him - so, so pretty - but in your wedding day? Archons, he doesn't know if he can take that. It'll be too much for his big heart.

He can only imagine how your wedding will play out, but there is one thing he was sure of and that is that he will burst into tears once he laid his eyes upon you - and not the soft cry most men do in their wedding, oh, not at all like that. His heart is too big with too much love for you, and too soft to control his emotions properly.

Bennett will cry (bawl, actually), his tears of joy coming in streams, and it was loud enough for strangers to think he was grieving over a deceased loved one. He was hiccupping and sobbing, will probably be holding on to his vest tightly as if his entire lifeline depended on the pressure of how he crumpled the fabric. He hoped that in that time, Razor or the Traveler will lend him a hand and calm him down before he can ruin his own wedding.

Bennett, as he happily imagined that fateful day to come in the future (spoilers again, it will) did not feel a tear slip from the corner of his eye as he drifted off to a pleasant slumber with a beaming smile.

The boy absolutely adores you.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #diluc x reader #zhongli x reader #aether x reader #bennett x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader

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cowboyjen68 · 2 years

Note

Hi jen! 20 something masc bisexual who just cant figure out if theyre a man or a woman here. I dont really feel comfortable talking about this stuff but writing anonymously is a lot less daunting and you seem like a really chill person and such a good mom. When i was youger, around 16, i cut my hair short and dressed less conventional (stopped wearing what my mom put out for me lol), bc i wanted to express myself. I didnt get the "mens" haircut i wanted originally, but i made up for it with flannels and hoodies. Slowly, occasionally, people started to ask me my sex/gender and when someone read me as male i was over the moon. By the time i was 18 i had stopped wearing makeup and tried hard to pass as male. It became pretty exhausting and my bestfriend is a very feminine guy, who usually gets read as a woman, inspired me to care less what people think i am. Im trying to take things as they come but with my mullet (thick long hair in the back) i noticed people read me as female more often than not. Its not insulting, but i cant help but feel disappointed. It felt so right when people read me as male. Im considering transitioning but i hate the idea of coming out to my family (as trans) and im scared of "being wrong about all this and screwing my body up", even thougt I like the prospect of the physical changes testosterone brings. All in all, I feel like ive been stuck in this undecided period for so long and something needs to change.

Im grateful for any words of advice :)

I am so sorry for the delay, my seasonal side jobs keep me very busy. I owe you some sincerity here because you asked and trust me to give you the truth, at least as I see it.

Of course I cannot in anyway see inside you or know the mix of emotions you have or the complex amount of experiences you have had in your 20 something life. When someone is struggling with hard questions being “PC” does no one any favors so here is my best take, but ultimately you know what is best and perhaps a therapist that will not just be a "yes" person would be very helpful.

Firstly, if you decide to transition for whatever reason, comfort, ease of experiencing the world etc, there is no rule that says you have to do anything at all to alter your body. You can be who you are within yourself. I am a lesbian and a woman whether or not some stranger on the street thinks so. (and the amount of time I am called "sir" in one day changes absolutely zero about me). Same applies to you. If you are concerned about medical or hormonal intervention you are not wrong to have caution. Anytime we take any medication from a blood pressure pill to nasal spray, doing due diligence and understanding the affects on our body is important. And each of us must take into consideration body health, genetics, dr suggestions, past medical history and the reality of what time, money and effort we are capable of exerting, especially if it means for a life time

That all being said short hair, clothes, your interests and personality are not (should not) be gendered. There is no reason a woman can’t be and exist as a female who is not always thrilled with her body (looks and function) and be a human who loves doing a myriad of things that may or may not fit what society prescribes as our gender roles.

You say you are disappointed when read as female? Why? Do you dislike that they are not seeing the real you OR because you know being read as such means, in our culture, you are seen as less capable, treated differently, perceived as weak, not as smart as men and treated as the lesser of our society simply based on your body? Either way, this is a them problem and not a you problem. You are as flawed, strong, smart, confident as you are no matter how they see you. It is not up to them to decide how human you get to be based on what sex you are. No one fits all the general attributes imposed gender roles wish for us to follow.

Ask yourself, if I transition and am still consistently read as female, how will that affect me? Will I become angry because I am putting time, effort and money into presentation and people still see what they see? Am I going to feel better able to shrug off mistakes make by quick glances or because people have known me for years because I am more true to me? Transition should happen in a vacuum, in my opinion. (disclaimer: I am not trans so perhaps this is not how trans men feel) You are who you are whether in a crowd of people or alone in a forest. Others should never make that decision or set the bar for you. EVER. They have no investment in your internal self.

Since you are asking me, this is my experience. In my early years i understood very quickly how I was treated differently when people (men and women) saw me as a little boy instead of a little girl. In my teens I saw the way girls who hit puberty before me were immediately treated sexually, will less respect and I was like” well shit”. I would have happily been seen as a boy/man and probably went to length to insure that. At 12 I was pretty confident I wanted to be or should have been a boy. My mom very colorfully explained to me there are issues with both sides and am a girl who wants what boys get in the world.. sooo get them as a girl. THEN I met other lesbians and butches and bi women who are masculine and they told me their stories.. which were just like mine. I realized to be a man I had to give up being a woman and being a woman, my reality, physically and in my upbringing (in the 1980′s and 1990″) was the best and only way to connect to other people because I was not different with them or alone. I needed to be me 24/7 not just in public, not just at parties, not just with friends, but when I was alone, at night or mowing the yard. Perception and societal opinion had nothing to do with my body, my mind, my personality.

Am I still affected by gender roles? Of course. Our society genders everything from pocket knives (camo or pink camo) to cars, abilities to shampoo! Do i sometimes let it slide when a man thinks he is talking to another man, sure.. why not? I learn somethings (some things I don’t want to know on occasion). But at the end of the day, most of the people I deal with begin to see me as a kind, capable women or...(translation: human) and when it counts I don’t want to be vague or dodgy about my sex, my gender or my sexual orientation. Who I am, who I deserved to be, my right to exist as me is too important. None of these were over night revelations. Time, experience, community as all helped me understand:

You have to live with you forever and always, don’t try to exist as the easiest way for society to view you.

#bi #masciline #butch #trans man #my opinion #personal story #lesbian

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daevastanner · 3 years

Text

Elucien: 20 lashes pt II

link to part 1 here

He should let her walk away from him.

He should remain in the corridor.

But her words keep replaying in his mind as she strides down the steps and out the front doors.

“You deserve better,” she had said.

And Lucien realizes… who was the last person to ever consider what he deserved?

For the life of him, Lucien can’t recall the last person, the last instance, where someone took his side.

Where someone stood up for him.

But Elain…

His reluctant mate.

She’d taken his side.

Lucien’s legs are suddenly restless, and he starts down the stairs and towards those double doors.

Out on the front lawn he sees Elain making a bee-line for the stone bench, that sits beneath a dogwood tree.

He nearly chuckles when she plunks herself down unceremoniously.

But then she’s frowning, cradling her hand in her lap. She is in pain.

Lucien hastens his stride to join her. That right hook she had thrown was piss poor. Her fist had been balled up tight, thumb tucked in. She probably jammed her fingers.

And the second punch to Tamlin’s shoulder certainly hadn’t done her any favors.

Lucien cautiously closes the distance between them with extreme caution.

It feels like he’s approaching an easily startled deer.

He wants her to know that he holds her to no promises. He is not taking her display of defiance on his behalf as consent. Lucien only means to help.

He expects nothing in return.

Lucien gestures to the empty space beside her. “May I?”

Elain doesn’t look up from her already bruising knuckles, but nods.

Lucien fluidly sits beside her, taking a deep, steadying breath before speaking again. “I can fix that. Your hand.”

She stills and Lucien curses himself.

He is searching his mind for an excuse to leave when Elain slowly offers him her hand.

It sits there for a moment, hovering in mid air. All Lucien can do is stare at it.

But the soft voice of the mating bond returns to him for the first time in a very long time, and urges Lucien to act.

Willing himself not to tremble, Lucien gently takes Elain’s hand.

It is warm and soft. It reminds him of her eyes.

He holds her fingers in both his hands, lips twisting as he runs a thumb across her knuckles.

“Is it… bad?” Elain asks. “It does hurt. But it doesn’t feel like I broke anything.”

“Can you try and move your little finger for me?”

Elain swallows then hisses as her pinky gives the smallest of movements.

“That’s what I thought,” he murmurs. “It’s a fairly common injury. Usually seen in drunken brawls.”

“I confess myself inexperienced with such injuries.”

Lucien chuckles at her quiet humor.

Her cheeks pink, Elain presses, “I’m assuming it’s not so grave an injury.”

Lucien meets her eyes and dares the hint of a smirk. “You may never garden again.”

To his surprise and delight, Elain laughs. A true laugh. She tosses her head back and the setting sun casts her hair a burnished gold.

Still, he doesn’t allow himself to hope that this amicability, this easy conversation, will ever evolve beyond this day. Beyond this moment.

He clears his throat as her laughter winds down. “This may tingle a bit,” he cautions.

Elain bobs her head, and Lucien holds her hand just a little tighter, focusing on healing those fractures.

“I didn’t know you had healing magic,” Elain says, a current of discomfort lacing her tone.

“Only the barest amount. No more than your standard fae.” He looks up from her slowly mending hand, meeting her gaze yet again. “You likely have some yourself.”

She hums in approval and the wrinkle between her brows smooths as Lucien finishes healing her hand.

He is reluctant to release it.

When will he touch her again?

When will they be this close again?

No.

He cannot allow himself to hope for that. He cannot allow himself to even consider the possibility.

With no small amount of effort, Lucien releases his hold on her hand.

His chest pinches when she doesn’t immediately withdraw.

Instead she lifts her hand from his palm and holds it to the sunlight, examining it curiously.

“Can you move your fingers?” Lucien asks (even though he knows the answer).

She wiggles her delicate fingers, and something primal in Lucien is pleased.

He has cared for his mate. He has made her feel better. He has healed her.

“I don’t regret it,” Elain says, still admiring her hand. “Hitting him.”

Lucien’s mouth is dry. He doesn’t know how to respond.

She drops her hand then folds both of them in her lap. Her brown eyes focus on the ground as though she’s seeking out an answer in the emerald blades of grass.

“I was just… so angry.” Elain sighs. “I’ve never been so angry in my life.”

He had seen it. He had seen the anger break out on her face. Had practically smelled it on her before she turned and marched into the manor.

And he recognized it. He recognized that feral animosity.

Elain had learned that someone had harmed her mate, and had felt that primal urge to defend him.

“It was like I was burning. It felt like my blood was… charged.”

Lucien nods and considers his next words carefully. “I am familiar with the feeling.”

Elain’s eyes snap to him, and he can’t tell if she’s curious or crestfallen. “It’s… it’s part of… what we share then.”

He nods again.

She sits a little taller, steeling herself. “It’s a part of the mating bond.”

Lucien fights to keep his jaw from dropping. For some reason it’s… staggering to hear her say those words. To hear her mention the mating bond and call it by its name.

“I thought I’d gone mad,” she murmurs. “It felt like I’d lost all control.”

Self-admonishment and guilt flicker in her eyes and Lucien feels a pang of sympathy…

…and again that primal urge to fix this, comfort her.

“No, you aren’t mad.” He didn’t dare hold her stare when he spoke the next words. “It’s white hot when it starts. Your blood roaring in your ears. Your heart thundering against your chest. It blinds you. You feel a need, a compulsion, to act.” Lucien folded his arms and leaned back against the tree, trying to appear casual though he felt anything but. “It takes root and you feel entitled to the rage, because… because the person who… who, erm…”

He doesn’t know how to say it without alarming her.

So she says it for him: “The person who you are bonded to?”

But she says it not as a suggestion.

She says it as a mercy.

To let him know that she is not afraid of him. Not afraid of the bond. He had, in keeping his distance, gained this much ground in her trust.

He continues, “Yes, you feel entitled to rage for that person, and that call to protect… it has to be answered. You think the only way it will fade is… is if you take action.”

“And it did,” she says. “It went away after I hit him…”

There’s an awkward pause and Lucien takes no time in filling it.

“And don’t forgetting spitting at him…”

A soft, wry laugh.

Silence that Lucien is again happy to fill.

“…and then hitting him again.”

Her laugh is a little brighter this time, and when she again meets his gaze her expression is… grateful.

He clears his throat, not wanting to allow himself the chance to savor this moment. To savor the way she looks at him without apprehension.

He doesn’t want her to run.

But he also wants her to know that she is free to.

It pains him to say it, but he forces himself to: “The bond causes many urges, but they are… more easily ignored than some may believe.”

It’s a lie.

But something like disappointment flashes across her face…

It’s just as quickly gone as it had arrived. “I see.”

Lucien feels something between them then. A sort of static thread anchored at the center of his chest. The place where he had felt that warmth spark all those years ago when she’d tumbled out of that cauldron and he had realized she was his mate.

And he suddenly notices that her dainty fingers are resting over her breastbone. Right where she might feel a similar sensation to the one he is experiencing.

This remarkable thread he’d never noticed till this day.

Lucien’s heart wrenches. Oily regret seepes through his veins at what can never be.

He debates telling her now. Telling her what he has planned to give her for Solstice this year.

The opportunity to break their bond.

Gods dammit he had just accepted that their bond was a sham.

He had just resigned himself to being without a mate.

He’d been training his mind for months not to go mad at the loss of her.

And then she had shown up today.

Looking like an angel.

Smiling at him.

Laughing at his jokes.

Wearing his earrings.

Defending him.

Letting him touch her.

Discussing the bond.

Her human heart, he realized, still existed there. It still beat. Fickle and volatile and full.

Did he dare unlock those doors?

Did he dare break the locks he had forged to keep her out?

Did he dare allow himself to dream again?

Did he deserve to?

“I asked you once,” Elain begins, her voice as fragile as a rose petal, “if you could hear my heart. You said you could not.”

Lucien nodded.

“Is the answer the same now?” she asks.

And he can tell that for whatever reason… Elain is hopeful his answer will be different.

But he cannot lie to her. He cannot lie to his mate.

“I cannot.”

The only sound is the breeze rustling the leaves, and Lucien’s blood pounding in his ears.

He remembers her response from before as though it was the rhythm of his own heart:

“No one ever does. No one ever looked—not really.”

Her expression then, so forlorn, so hopeless…

She did not wear it now.

Instead, Elain nods, and she seems almost resolute. As though she’s come to a decision.

He doesn’t dare consider what that decision may be. He doesn’t dare to hope.

And even still, as their eyes meet, he can almost hear what she’s thinking. Or at least he thinks so…

But you see me all the same, don’t you?

And he knows she can’t hear him, but he answers her silently: Yes, I do.

The easy silence continues and Lucien, for once, has no words.

“This Court is far too pretty for Tamlin,” she scowls.

And Lucien laughs, full bodied, at such a menacing expression on such a lovely face.

“You should tell him that.”

Elain balks. “I think I should ration my abuses towards him wisely. I’ve already punched him twice on this visit.”

“And spit at him,” Lucien adds wisely.

She laughs and Lucien is reminded of fox-glove flowers.

He is reminded of light and happiness.

The mating bond is the farthest thing from his mind.

Only Elain and her laughter remain.

Elain, her laughter, and the promise of maybe purchasing a new set of sheers for this year’s solstice gift instead.

#elain and lucien #elain archeron #elucien #lucien vanserra #acotar #acotar headcanons

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lazycheesecakeee · 3 years

Text

Stray kids as love languages

Ok so I started thinking and that’s never good and somehow this got CHUNKY AF :))) But I hope you enjoy reading my messy thoughts about skz expressing love :)

Bang Chan

Giving: Gifts/Words of affirmation

Yeah SO… we all know how he always seems to always give the closest people to him, like everything, including the moon and a fucking rocket to the moon as well, and build it too, that before he gets anything at all? He is definitely a giver. He buys food, drinks, anything.

Anything you would accomplish, no matter how small would be an excuse for him to go out and buy you a meal and while you are there, if you only happen to glance at something twice, you already have it? Yeah you might feel bad and try to pay or say “stop giving me things all the time” but he would not stop and he would buy you the thing and shower you with praises for how well you did, even if you think it is not such a big deal.

You have a normal day when nothing happened? You go to the store together, he pays. He comes to visit you randomly. On the way he buys a flower and a random chocolate or a drink because he remembers somehow that you said you wanted to try it like 3 months ago. And the list never ends. He has a good sense for what people want too. So if you are close to him he gives you EVERYTHING. Showers of praises and all of his fucking money :)))) BOY HAS NO LIMITS.

Receiving: words of affirmation

Listennnn, as much as he gives and never stops, like NEVER. (Take his credit card away lmaoooo), when you acknowledge his little appreciations and thank him sweetly or give him a hug to let him know you are grateful, he gets immense satisfaction. I feel like he is the one to give but if he feels like he is used in the slightest he definetly cuts the rope short real FUCKING FAST.

I feel like he def is SUCH a sucker for appreciation and words of affirmation AND COMPLIMETS. He wants to feel needed and like his efforts are worth it. And giving him the verbal queue that his efforts don’t go unnoticed, that despite his busy schedule you appreciate the time with him, that his hard work and struggles to be the best are worth it, that the nights in the studio are fruitful and he is doing a good job, THAT would really make his entire day and his anxieties dissipate. Let him know he is wanted. Poor baby someone give him a sleep schedule too and some melatonin :)))))

Lee Know/Minho

Giving: Acts of service

He def strikes as one weird cranky, moody, annoying bitch with his behaviour but if you pay closer attention he is actually so observant and thoughtful/caring. He seems like you would not want to go to him for things but I actually think that if you take the time and grow close to him he is one of the most caring and protective people tbh.

Like it’s in his nature to pay attention to what close ones are doing, their schedules, interests and habits. He is the kind of person to never purposefully say or make a fuss out of doing something but somehow he knows you need something or you want something. And he buys the thing and puts it in the fridge. Or changes the sheets because he feels you are too sad and unmotivated and that would be good. Or buys something definitely because “he wanted it” but gets more, and a side of the thing you like a lot, because “it was there”, definitely not because he thought of you and that it would bring you joy. Or he would like pick a prescription for you or refill your water bottle before leaving or tell you to bring band-aids because you complained those shoes hurt you. Or tell me this boy would not chop the onions for the pasta sauce so you don’t ruin your mascara (I am not sobbing you are). And he somehow fits himself in and things add up so well and your life is so much easier despite him claiming he „did nothing”.

Receiving: Words of affirmation

Although it doesn’t seem like it, something tells me it’s true. I read on an internet thing that people that seem cold and don’t want/seem to have the need for verbal affirmation and validation from strangers get actually more satisfaction from it than people who say it explicitly.

He also def strikes me like he was raised to be tough, to recover fast, to not be a cry baby and just get up and do the job, suck it up, be strong and independent. A little bit of trust issues into the mix as well ☹ You can actually kinda see a sort of anxious behaviour type of thing in him. So I feel like if you actually grow closer to him (ahem Jisung), acknowledging his efforts and how he makes your life easier, THAT would bring out the asshole being like “oh really? Hm interesting you think I do so much for you huh?” but he actually does thooo and you saying it would bring him like so much joy and make his heart happy.

Like each time you give him a compliment TM he would act like “yeah I know” or act disgusted but high key it soothes his spirit and ego when you say such things. He just loooves to hear how much you loved something he cooked or how attractive he was while dancing or how he was really thoughtful, and you appreciate it sm. He seems to have the nature to give, and he seems to expect to go unnoticed but when and if you do acknowledge his heart is actually swooning over it.

Changbin

Giving: Physical touch/Gifts

I think he would be the type to bring weird things to you for no reason along with 1000 kisses and a hug that is a bit too tight you know? Like his mind gets occupied with you if you are close.

And like he saw this weird card at the store or a little figurine or something which has a weird patters and he thought “Hm they must see this. They would like this strange ass thing I bought which was overpriced”. And when he gives you the thing you give like an odd smile and in your eyes is a „love you but wtf is this” and he would take your hands and look down and kiss them and say “I don’t know i thought you might like it?” And you would tease each other and he would start doing ayego and get really shy and just hug you again and place his head in your neck to avoid the eye contact, then lift you up and spin you and from there you have no chances of escaping the embrace TM.

Receiving: Physical touch

I feel like he would be a sucker for physical touch as your love language as well. If you reciprocate hugs, kisses and stuff. You know he seems like the kind to find comfort in holding you for no reason, like a hand on the knee or on your waist and if you two are comfy and give him little pets, stroke his hair, place your hand on his shoulder or biceps or take his hand with both yours or grab his middle randomly, he would swoon. Also you clinging to him and letting him cling to you I think is like thing he wishes for most tbh:) I feel like he feels safety and love by holding onto you and you onto him like he can protect you. He would like to know you trust him with that, ya know? Like he is a strong bitch ready to fight anyone coming at you and can protect you but is also your smol koala child which you can never escape.

Hyunjin

Giving: physical touch

Now this might seem weird to you BUT. He seems like he touches people out of nowhere sometimes and kinda clings. Not like all the time but enough. Like he likes being really close to you if he is close to you, you know?. He would be all up in your face with his weird ass mannerisms and humour but if they are reciprocated and he feels safe and good around you he naturally starts to cling if that makes sense? Like in a way a sort of telling others: “mine, you cannot have them before me” but also in the sense that you know he would do anything for you if you ask in those instances. Like YO, you have me, soul and body next to you, I am here :)))

Like he doesn’t seem like the type to buy things a lot (cheap ass I see you :)))) although he would sometimes) But he makes up by being there and encouraging you despite not knowing how to act or what to say all the time, he lets you know you can count on him and he is there. I feel like his touch expresses appreciation.

Receiving: words of affirmation/quality time

He strikes me as attention demanding lmao:)) OH I am yours pay attention to me I am your baby I require love and affection, undivided.

So if you make time to have lunch with him or have conversations before bed in peace (my dude seems like his thoughts overwhelm him all the time and honestly same :/ it’s kinda yikes tbh), or watch a movie/tv show, or just be in his presence when he is both excited or down, and listen to him rant and give him solutions or rant with him about random subjects and jumping around between them subjects, you would get all the uwus and he would probably be ready to dedicate his entire existence to your well being and desires.

He is just like that, a dramatic ass with overly changing emotions who wants a good connection, like a genuine one, where hours go by and someone truly understands him and things flow, ya know? (seems like the type to believe in fate type of love, which I find interesting)

Han Jisung

Giving: Physical touch/ Words of affirmation

He seems really touchyyyyy TM. But like in the way that shows physical affection because he seems a little insecure? That is kinda what he strikes me as. Like he wants to hold you. He wants to show you have him. He wants to be appreciated :( my child (and bias) help me I am sobbing:))) and he wants to make sure you know he appreciates you just as much.

Like he would hold your hand, hug you a lot or place random kisses and linger in those places? An he would compliment you and tell you your work is amazing and that he is proud and he would make lots of idiotic jokes to cheer you up, no matter the mood (we stan crackhead humour in this household) and he would tell you the most random shit he likes about you. Like “I like your socks” or “you changed your bag” or “the perfume is oddly floral just like your shirt and I like it”.

And he would make random short freestyle raps (kill me now I am in too deep) about you or a random thing you are doing. And he would just linger around you when you are busy and can’t give him attention. He wants to show trust and love through little gestures and trusts you to see them as a sign of his love because you make him happy and all.

Receiving: ALSO Physical touch/words of affirmation idk

I feel like he would like physical touch back? Like he would be fine if you didn’t like it, but like since he is like anxious and (to me) seems like a little overly aware of his “flaws and deficiencies”, he would like to know he has your “hold”. Like some sort of security type of thing.

Like small gestures, your hand on him, a little kiss, a hug, a squish :))), a little grip of reassurance and a nod of “you are doing good”. I think he would be a sucker for that. And also despite him lowkey rejecting your compliments like “yeah I know I am the best”, giving it to him would boost his self-esteem a lot, as I think he has many insecurities and quite a few complexes that are hard to express for him. So that, along with your touch and words to reassure him, he would love and get the idea that you want him close too, that he’s desired enough for you to seek his love, something like “you my dude are seen and loved for who you are”.

Felix

Giving: Giving gifts/Physical touch

He is defiantly a giver. He literally seems like he is so thoughtful and cares so much. Like we all know how his fellow members said he is great at gifts. Well duh. I feel like his gifts are not always big but like a small food or drink he brings because he knows you always love it, a flower he saw in the front of a flower shop he thought was pretty. Something you said you needed (or you didn’t say) but he knows you do need it because he just pays that much attention. A pendant necklace. A ring. A small ice-cream because the day is hot so why not. A donut that had flower sprinkles because you like to post aesthetic foods and so on. You name it. They would not be obnoxious, but it would sure show how much you are occupying his thoughts.

We also always know how he is attached to the hip to the people he is close to and he loves skinship. He said he loves back hugs, hugs, kisses he wants it all:)) So he gives plenty of cuddles for sure. You can never escape the octupus arms as you go to sleep each night, so might as well set up the air conditioning in your house as it’s about to get warm but affection and love above all, right? :)))))))

Receiving: Words of affirmation/Physical touch

I think he thrives if you return his little ministrations of affection. Does it matter? A hug, a kiss, holding him, a little massage, hand size comparison, throwing yourself on top of him on the couch or the bed at the end of the day. He LOVES it. You are also competing with Chan lol but no worries, he has plenty affections for all:))

Also I think he needs reassurance and a sense that people that are closest are proud of what he is doing(wipe your tears bitch). So I think acknowledging his hard work and the fact that he pulls through despite certain mental heath problems and telling him he does an amazing job and complementing his work would definitely mean a lot to him.

But give the boy your affection, A VerY tOucHy BoI. It makes his heart swell with joy knowing you pull him close and feel so much love for him that you don’t hold back from giving. Be an octopus with him tambien😊

Seungmin

Giving: Acts of service

Another one for acts of service. Our smol good boi which somehow does not seem smol at all because he exudes maturity and rationality lmao.

He would be such a servant if he loves you. AND YOU WOULD NOT EVEN NOTICE at first. Like I feel like he does stuff in a way similar to Minho where he makes sure your life is as easy as can be. Like puts your shoes out of the way, checks the weather so you don’t leave dressed inappropriately (forces you to take the puffier jacket despite it not going with your outfit, because “do you want to catch a cold, hm?”), gives you an umbrella. Fixes a random necklace which you broke by accident because he knows it will sit there for like 3 years if it’s in your care, and you like the necklace 😊. Makes sure you eat something healthy too(would definitely bring you washed and cut-up fruits after going out to eat at mcdonalds). And he for sure does not expect you to really notice, but if you do he is getting flustered and runs out the room with a big smile😊 what a baby tm.

Receiving: Acts pf service

I feel like he would appreciate most if you also took time out of your day to ease his life too. I feel like he would feel such relief and happiness and his heart would swell with affection and appreciation if you took on one of his (no matter how insignificant) tasks. Like he would be in a rush to leave and you woke up earlier before work to make him a coffee. Or when he comes home late you already put his clothes on the bed and prepared a bath. Or getting up and asking for extra napkins if he was not given any, or simply asking how can you make his day better. I feel like being helpful and listening and paying close attention to him would be what makes him happiest.

I.N./Jeongin:

Giving: Quality time/Gifts

He gets awkward when he tries to express feelings with words and is def not the most fond of skinship. However, I think if you were close he would be an amazing listener and sit with you and you could both share and grow together so much. He would give you the feeling he is ready to listen and be with you if you need him.

That and also I feel like when you are out and about it makes him feel good to know he can buy you things you can enjoy, and you are appreciative of them and he has that power to brighten your day and be a mature adult by buying you things, despite not really needing them sometimes.

Receiving: Quality time/Words

You know how he struggled a bit with the dancing at first and you know how the other members say that he does nothing when someone criticizes him, he just goes out of his way to fix his “mistakes”? And also in Vlive when he said he doesn’t like to watch his own fancams because all he sees are his mistakes? My baby seems to have a bit (quite some) of an imposter syndrome and since he is young and everyone teases him, although with love, I feel like it gets a bit uncomfortable and tough. He seems he just wants to keep up, and be the best at what he does but it gets tough when you have to catch up with people who have been doing the thing for many more years than you and you are struggling with your feelings and figuring things out as you grow within a demanding contract. So I think someone to listen to his worries and give him undivided attention without judgement and put in their input without being intrusive would be the most amazing thing to him. That, along with compliments and acknowledgement of his efforts, telling him that he is doing GOOD and you are proud (although he might think that you are just saying it, since he seems to only see ways he needs to improve) would be good at raising his self esteem and encourage him to continue with his hard efforts.

#stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #skz #stray kids fanfic #stray kids au #skz imagines #skz scenarios #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han #felix #seungmin #jeongin #love langauges

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5-falsehoods-phonated · 3 years

Text

You Don’t Own Me (You Don’t Even Know Me)

Chapter 3

Summary: As the son of a Baron, Roman Sanders always knew that when he married, it would be due to a political arrangement rather than true love. Still, when he is sent away to marry an older, more powerful Earl, he is determined to make the best of his situation. Despite the Earl’s indifference towards him, Roman forges ahead and prepares to become the best husband he can possibly be, making new friends along the way. But when his fiancé’s demeanor turns from cold to cruel, Roman must shift all of his focus to survival, and find a way out of his marriage before it’s too late.

Ships: Logince (Logan x Roman) Moxiety (Virgil x Patton)

Content Warnings: arranged marriage, abuse, attempted sexual assault, murder, poisoning, character death, hurt/comfort, angst

Chapter Warnings: none

Word Count: 2689

Read on AO3: here!

Cowritten with @ironwoman359 masterlist

False masterlist

A sharp knock pulled Roman from a fitful sleep, and he groaned, cracking open one eyelid.

“Who is it?” He called blearily.

“Patton, sir!”

“Come in, then,” Roman said around a yawn, and Patton entered the room.

“Good morning Lord- Roman!” He said, quickly correcting himself. “I trust you had a good night’s sleep?”

“I've certainly had worse,” Roman admitted, stretching. “Do you need something?”

Patton nodded, clasping his hands behind his back.

“His lordship requests that you meet him at the stables this morning for a ride around the grounds. New riding clothes and boots should be in your wardrobe.”

Roman raised an eyebrow. Three days of near pretending he didn’t exist, and now Lord Howard wanted to take a romantic ride around the grounds together?

“Very well, I will be ready shortly,” Roman said, then he frowned as Patton turned to leave. “Patton, wait…”

Patton paused, looking back at him. Roman hesitated for a moment, but the housekeeper had said anything he needed...

“Could I...that is, do you know what happened to my clothes? The ones I brought with me, I mean?”

Patton’s face twisted in sympathy.

“Oh, um...well, I...” he looked away, and guilt flickered through his eyes. “Mrs. Wakefield, she...she told me to burn them.” Roman’s eyes widened, but Patton quickly continued, “I didn’t, though! I snuck them into the laundry when she wasn’t looking...I was planning on taking them down to a charity shop in town when I could get an afternoon free. It...it didn’t feel right, to have perfectly good clothes like that thrown out when someone could still use them.”

Roman sucked in a breath. “There’s one thing,” he said quietly, leaning closer. “A cloak, torn at the hem, is it...do you think I could get it back?”

Patton glanced behind him, as if Mrs. Wakefield herself might suddenly materialize in the room.

“I...if Lord Howard sees you wearing it, I-“

“I won’t wear it,” Roman promised. “And the rest of the clothes, you can go ahead and give away. I don’t want any trouble, I just...I don’t want to lose it for good.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Patton said, and Roman smiled.

“Thank you, Patton, I’m truly grateful. Now...I must admit, I don’t quite know my way around the estate yet. Would you be able to show me to the stables?”

Patton perked up at that, his face splitting into a wide grin.

“I’d be absolutely delighted to!”

Patton stepped out for a moment to let Roman get dressed, and then he led him through the halls of the manor. Roman did his best to memorize the layout as they went; the estate technically was his home now, and he wanted to know it like the back of his hand. Patton led him outside through a set of double doors set with frosted glass and onto a meticulously kept gravel path. As they walked, they passed by an immaculate flower garden and what looked like the entrance to a hedge maze before reaching what Roman assumed were the stables.

Lord Howard was already there waiting for them, dressed in smart white riding pants and a tailored vest. Two men stood beside him, each holding the reins of a horse.

“Ah, good morning Lord Sanders,” the Earl called, and Roman bowed his head in greeting. “Come, let me introduce you to my stablemaster.”

The shorter of the two men beside him bowed.

“Joseph Acton,” he said. “I am at your service, my lord. And this is Angel, and her handler, Virgil.” He gestured at the taller man, who held the reins of a snow-white mare.

Roman nodded to both stable hands, then reached out to pat Angel’s nose.

“She’s lovely,” he said, smiling at Virgil.

“She’s yours,” said Lord Howard, and Roman’s eyes widened.

“I- really?”

“Indeed,“ said the Earl. “I trust you can ride?”

“Yes, I can,” Roman said. “I- you are too generous my lord, thank you.”

Lord Howard gave him a short bow, clearly preening at the expression of gratitude, and Roman smiled to himself as he took Angel’s reins. This may not be quite the marriage of equals he had always hoped for, but it didn’t mean he was unprepared for his situation.

A man like Garret Howard had wealth and power to spare, and everything he did would be in service of either acquiring more or showing off what he had. If Roman wanted to improve his standing with him, he first had to stroke the man’s ego. So as they rode through the grounds, he oo’d and ah’d at the impressive landscaping and architecture, when asked how he was finding his stay at the estate so far he gushed about the size of his rooms and the quality of service from the staff, and at every opportunity, he brought the conversation back to Lord Howard, allowing the Earl to not-so-subtly boast about the size of his estate and investments.

When they circled back around to the stables, Lord Howard swiftly dismounted his horse, and gave Roman a nod.

“Thank you for your time this morning, Lord Sanders. You of course have free reign of the estate. I have much business to attend to today and cannot be disturbed, but I do hope you will join me for dinner this evening?”

“Of course, my lord,” Roman said with a smile. “It would be my pleasure.”

Lord Howard snapped his fingers and Acton hurried forward to take his horse’s reins.

“Until this evening, then,” said the Earl, and then he turned and left without another word.

Acton gave Roman a quick bow before leading Howard’s horse away, and Roman glanced around. He didn’t see the other stableboy anywhere nearby, so he steered Angel towards the stables himself. As he drew nearer, he finally spotted the tall, dark haired boy who had first handed him Angel’s reins leaning against a fence post and talking to Patton, of all people.

“Virgil! Get to work!” snapped Acton, and Patton jumped, guilt flashing across his features. The stablehand, Virgil, rolled his eyes, but stepped forward towards Roman, ducking his head and holding out his hands for the reins.

“Apologies, my lord,” he said lowly, and Roman flashed him a reassuring smile.

“It’s quite alright, sir,” he said as he dismounted. He glanced up to make sure Acton wasn’t listening, then added quietly, “and you may just call me Roman, if you wish.”

Virgil’s eyebrows quirked up in surprise, and he glanced over at Patton, who smiled and nodded at him.

“Alright then, Roman,” Virgil said. “How was Angel for you?”

“Oh, she was excellent. Weren’t you, girl?” Roman asked, patting Angel on the neck. “You deserve a whole barrel of apples for doing such a good job!”

“I do have some sugar cubes saved back at the stable, if you’d like to give her some,” Virgil said slowly, almost warily.

“I’d love to,” Roman said honestly, and Patton’s face lit up.

Virgil nodded to himself, as if coming to a decision, then he turned around, tugging gently on Angel’s reins.

“Come on then, her stall is this way.”

Roman and Patton followed Virgil into the stables, which housed around a half-dozen horses. Virgil led them through to Angel’s stall, then gave them all sugar cubes and baby carrots that they took turns feeding to the mare while he removed her bridle and brushed her down.

Roman held out another handful of treats to Angel and glanced at Patton. Patton was stroking Angel’s nose, but the soft smile on his face was clearly directed more at her handler rather than the horse itself.

“So...you two know each other well?” Roman asked. Virgil looked hesitant, but Patton nodded, a sheepish smile on his face.

“When I started working here, I didn’t know anybody...and, um. I’m sure you’ve noticed that the senior staff can be...”

“Assholes?” Virgil grumbled, and Patton laughed nervously.

“That’s, um, a strong word for it.”

“Not necessarily inaccurate though,” Roman said, and Virgil blinked, clearly surprised.

‘Well, suffice it to say, I had a little trouble fitting in at first!” Patton interjected. “But Virgil was actually nice to me, helped me find my feet, and we’ve been friends ever since!”

Roman raised an eyebrow; based on the way that they looked at each other, he’d have guessed they were more than just friends...still, he wasn’t about to pry.

“Pat, it was great to see you, but I don’t want you to get in trouble,” Virgil said. “You should get back, before Wakefield gets wind of where you’ve been.”

“He should be fine, as long as he’s with me, right?” Roman asked quickly. “Since he’s my attendant, if I ask him to accompany me somewhere, that would supersede any other duties he has.”

“I mean, yeah, probably,” Virgil said. “Still, you don’t know how Wakefield can be...I don’t wanna risk you getting in trouble.”

“And I don’t want to risk either of you getting in trouble, so we’ll make sure we keep our visits on the short side,” Roman said.

“Our...visits?” Patton asked, tilting his head to the side.

“Well, as my attendant, it’s essentially your job now to accompany me around the estate, right?” Roman asked. “It just so happens that I love horses, and taking walks around the grounds, so Mrs. Wakefield can hardly blame you if you end up spending more time than you used to outside the mansion.”

“Oh!” Patton said, his eyes widening. “Oh, Roman, you don’t have to do that if you don’t want to…”

“I do, though,” Roman said honestly. “It’s no trouble. And Angel is a sweet girl who deserves all the extra sugarcubes in the world, aren’t you?” he added, patting the horse on her neck.

“Alright, if you’re sure,” Virgil said. “But you two should still probably get inside now, I don’t need Acton on my case again.”

“Okay,” Patton said, quickly pulling Virgil into a hug. “I’ll see you later!”

Virgil looked embarrassed, but he hugged Patton back and waved to him and Roman as they exited the stables.

“What else would you like to do today?” Patton asked Roman as they headed back inside. “Lord Howard takes dinner at seven thirty, so you have quite a bit of free time until then.”

“Hmm...well perhaps you could give me a tour of the mansion?” Roman asked. “I believe there are several wings I haven’t even seen yet.”

“Absolutely!” Patton said. “Follow me!”

Roman was happy to do just that, and the two of them spent nearly an hour wandering through the house, Patton pointing out various features as they went. Roman’s head spun at the sheer size of the place; it was nearly unbelievable that just one man could own so much. At midday, Patton left him to arrange for lunch, and Roman found himself wandering the corridors alone. He decided to try and find the library again and turned around, only to collide headfirst with someone hurrying down the hall.

“Oh goodness, I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed as the person went sprawling, papers flying everywhere. “Here, let me help.”

Roman got to his knees to help gather the papers up, pausing when he saw just who he’d bumped into.

“Oh...it’s Logan, right? Again, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention at all to where I was going!”

“It’s quite alright,” Logan said, getting to his feet and pushing his glasses up on his nose. “For once, I was not heading anywhere in a particular hurry, I merely intended to take my lunch in the library.”

“Oh, I was heading that way too!” Roman said. “Or at least, I was trying to find it. Is it alright if I walk with you?”

Logan shrugged.

“You may do what you wish, Lord Sanders.”

He resumed his walk down the corridor, and after a moment, Roman followed, glancing around to ensure none of the other servants were nearby before he leaned over and spoke quietly.

“Roman.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You may just call me Roman, as long as we aren’t around somebody who might get upset with you for it.”

“Is there a particular reason you prefer not to be called by your proper title?” Logan asked as they reached the library, and Roman shrugged.

“Formality has its time and place,” he said.

He paused and opened the library door, gesturing for Logan to enter. After a moment, Logan did so, heading towards a small table beneath a window, and Roman followed.

“However,” he continued, “I’ve found it more beneficial in the past to be on more personal terms with members of my staff. Everyone is free to be at their best when they aren’t spending half their energy worrying about decorum.”

“Members of your staff?” Logan repeated as he sat down, and Roman nodded.

“So unless you have your own objections, I really don’t mind if you call me Roman,”

Logan regarded him for a moment, then tilted his head forward slightly.

“Very well then, Roman.”

Roman grinned, and sat down opposite Logan.

“So, tell me about what you do! Lord Howard called you his business secretary, what duties does that entail?”

“You...want to hear about my work?” Logan asked, sounding puzzled.

“Of course!” Roman said. “Lord Howard has been...busy, lately, and I haven’t had much time to learn about everything that goes on here at the estate yet. I was hoping you would be able to fill me in, if that’s alright of course?”

“I...suppose there is no harm in that,” Logan said slowly. “Though I’m afraid you won’t find what I have to say very interesting. My job mostly entails keeping track of paperwork, creating and distributing documents, managing the taxes paid to the estate as well as balancing the earl’s personal finances-”

“All that, and he calls you a secretary?” Roman interrupted. “That’s the work of a manager, if not a full business partner!”

“Yes, well” Logan cleared his throat, and shuffled some of his papers around. “Lord Howard would likely benefit from having a manager or business partner...however, he prefers to handle all matters that fall under his responsibility personally.”

“Or have you handle them,” Roman finished, and Logan gave him a wry smile.

First Previous Next

“Or have me handle them,” he agreed.

“So Lord Howard trusts you, then?”

“I would not use the word trust, ” Logan mused. “Rather, he knows I am capable of my job, and expects me to perform it to his satisfaction. Much of the day to day of running the estate falls to me, leaving him free to speak directly with other nobles and officials. I give him a report at the end of each week, and we discuss what expectations are for the next week.”

“Would I be able to get a copy of those reports?” Roman asked.

Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Technically those documents are for the Earl’s eyes only. What would you even do with a copy?”

“All my life, I’ve been preparing to run an estate,” Roman said. “And now I’m getting married in six months, but I’m not sure the Earl even realizes I exist half the time. I don’t want to just sit around and twiddle my thumbs and not even know what’s going on under my own roof. I want to actually do something.”

Logan watched him for a long stretch of time, and Roman wondered if he’d made a mistake, confiding in the man. Would he refuse Roman’s request? Would he tell Lord Howard what Roman had asked for? What would the Earl do if he found out Roman had requested confidential reports without his permission?

“In all honesty, the Earl pays very little attention to what I do,” Logan said, pulling Roman from his spiraling thoughts. “As long as the numbers match up to what he expects. I should have no problem creating a second copy of my weekly reports, if you truly wish to see them.”

Roman grinned.

He had a feeling he and Logan were going to get along just fine.

Previous Next

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #roman sanders #logan sanders #pattton sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides au #you dont own me #ydom

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outofangband · 3 years

Text

Masterlist/Explanation of the Dark Arafinwë verse

Other masterlists

Maedhros is attending a formal event near Alqualondë and is accosted by another elf. Unable to wrangle the truth from the ages of pre-existing biases and feuds, Teleri wardens arrest both the accoster and Maedhros who finds himself fighting against his own memories. When, to his very great surprise, Arafinwë himself intervenes on his behalf, Maedhros is brought back to the palace to be kept under supervision until the matter is investigated. (More details at the end notes)

CW: forced stripping (non sexual), abuse of power, callous disregard of past trauma/exploiting trauma responses, dissociation, gaslighting

Edit: I’ve had some people tell me that the gaslighting in this story is very difficult to read so I wanted to give an extra warning for that element

Tag list: @iwenttomordor @elarinya-nailo @mozart-the-meerkitten @tears-and-lilies @much-ado-about-whumping

“Strip.”

There was no malice in the command, simply an almost weary calm. Nelyafinwë was aware of his own eyes widening just as a sense of unreality came over him. The soft warmth of the evening felt suddenly oppressive and the clean and comfortable room he had been lead into twisted and distorted. He took a step backwards and his half uncle raised an eyebrow.

“I know you carry weapons upon thy person, Russandol. For rather obvious reasons I cannot allow you to keep them.”

The room did not come back into focus but Maitimo gave a small sigh, apprehension as much as relief. He raised one booted foot and undid the laces, pulling out a small blade and handing it over to Arafinwë who pocketed it with a small nod of acknowledgment. Maitimo then undid the other boot to show there was nothing in it.

Arafinwë looked impassively at the other elf, fingers pressed together at his chest.

“It would not be very prudent to simply take thy word, Russandol. Remove the rest, I will give you something to wear.” Maedhros’s gaze traveled to his face, his own expression of startled disbelief. He waited for a few moments for Arafinwë to leave or turn away. Arafinwë does not.

Maitimo swallowed, aware of the tingling, almost trembling in his arms or legs. He started on the buttons on his tunic so it fell into two sides, revealing the scars on his chest. Including the numerous iterations of kinslayer carved or tattooed into his flesh. He winced as he thought about this, not wishing to force Arafinwë to view another reminder of what had happened here so many years ago.

But he handed the tunic over over. Arafinwë set it and his boots on the bed, more of an examination table than for rest. He gestures for Maitimo to continue when the Noldor prince pauses again. Next come the trousers, slightly scuffed from the altercation that had landed him here in the first place. The heat rises to his ears and he can no longer maintain any sort of eye contact, directing his gaze to the floor instead.

Maitimo procrastinates pulling off his leggings until Arafinwë makes a soft sound of impatience, jarring him back to the present. The present where he is standing almost completely naked in front of the king of the Noldor in Valinor.

“I was there when Angamando fell and I have worked as a healer. I know you are scarred. Please remove the rest.”

Maitimo hands over the last of his clothes and finally Arafinwë looks away from him, gathering up his leggings, tunic, trousers and boots along with his jewelry.

“Stay here, Russandol. I will bring these to my guard to examine.” He starts towards the door.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Maitimo sees that the beaded bracelet Rôg had crafted for him is visible in the pocket of his trousers. He longs to hold it, to rub the smooth stone between his fingers as he does when the memories of the past intrude so vividly into the present.

“Lord Arafinwë?” He starts to say but the look on his half uncle’s face, that same impassive, cool interest, prevents any more words from leaving him and he merely shakes his head and waits as the other leaves.

...

Arafinwë returns nearly half of an hour later and Maitimo has not dared to move, even to try and cover himself. Loathe as he is to admit it to himself, any scolding or reprimand he might receive is likely worse than the shame of being so exposed. The door is closed, perhaps it was locked.

The king moves past him to take up his previous position. His expression has not changed.

“I am afraid you will have to be restrained for the night, Russandol. I do not have guards to spare.” Maedhros looks up at him, his heartrate spiking again.

“I do not need to be restrained, My Lord” he says slowly, carefully, “I am hardly going to attack you nor anyone else, naked and with no weapon.”

Arafinwë studies him. “I have absolutely no idea whether or not you will attack another should you become frightened or angry. I cannot afford the possibility that you enter such a state and harm someone. Lay down,” he gestures to the narrow bed before continuing, “This is a process that would typically be done by our wardens. Are you not grateful you are not suffering this under the hands of strangers?”

Maitimo was more acutely aware than ever of his nakedness as he took the few steps forward and lay down on his stomach. He hears rather than sees Arafinwë come to his right side, using a strap made of a soft leather to fasten his hands down. He urges himself silently to breathe through his nose, to remain calm. By the time his ankles were also strapped down, he had to actively count his breaths to keep them steady.

“Open your mouth.” This next command is spoken as calmly, coolly as the others, it is only Maitimo who is experiencing the dizzying panic. He doesn’t obey this time. Arafinwë approaches him again, kneeling beside his head and holding out what seem to be more of the leather straps.

“Your teeth are a weapon, Russandol,” now there is something like sarcasm, mocking in the king’s voice, Maitimo is sure of it.

(Is he sure?)

“You can hardly be surprised that you are not trusted here. Do you not understand I have made this process significantly better for you? Open your mouth. This will not hurt you and it is only until the morrow.”

Maedhros tastes cleaned leather as something is forced into his mouth, preventing him from moving his tongue. More straps are fixed around his head. Arafinwë is careful to keep his hair out of the way of them so it does not become caught or tangled. But the parts that press against his face irritate the old scars made when less considerate hands strapped similar devices over him.

Finally, Arafinwë takes a step back. Maedhros’s shallow breathing is softened slightly by the piece in his mouth.

“Good. Get some rest, Russandol. I will check on you in the morning.”

To be continued

Author’s note: This type of gaslighting used both implicitly and explicitly throughout here, the “no, of course there’s nothing sinister about me doing these things, that’s just how you’re interpreting them because of Angband and it’s really offensive of you to compare me to the Dark Lord” is incredibly insidious and makes me really angry! Unfortunately it will only get worse from here.

Author’s note: Maedhros was caught off guard here and his shock as well as his guilt is used to manipulate him into thinking this is legitimate procedure however he soon starts to understand more how dangerous Arafinwë and please know that he becomes an absolute nightmare to hold hostage. Or well he’s not currently a hostage but he’s soon to be

There is more about why Ara is doing this linked in the AU masterlist and more will become known as the story progresses!

More backstory here:

Maedhros is attending a formal event near Alqualondë and is accosted by another elf. Unable to wrangle the truth from the ages of pre-existing biases and feuds, Teleri soldiers arrest both the accoster and Maedhros who finds himself fighting against unpleasant memories of being confined and restrained. He’s alone in his cell, trying not to flinch whenever a guard comes by and alternating rapidly between the instinct to fight and scream and lash out and the instinct to hide and be subdued. He sees the guards stop and bow and he stands and walks to the door and sees Arafinwë. To his astonishment, he’s told that Arafinwë has agreed to have him released into his custody. He can’t leave the city for a few days, at least not until the matter gets sorted out. Maedhros starts to refuse just on instinct, saying it’s not necessary, etc. Arafinwë looks loftily at him.

“Do not speak foolishness, Russandol. Come with me.” And the guards unlock the door and nod to him and he can’t exactly insist on staying in prison especially because he is actually innocent in this encounter so he agrees reluctantly and follows Arafinwë to his carriage.

#the silmarillion #maedhros #finarfin #Arafinwë #splinters like jewel shards #short writings #saved

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thevirgodoll · 4 years

Note

Do you have any idea how I can become spiritual or improve my spirituality? I've read the four agreements but I need more guidance. I don't know you, but I'm thankful that I have you. Thank you!

Doll Diaries: Spirituality

1. Start a journal.

I’m always telling you guys this in my advice tag but a journal has helped me so much becoming more aligned. I keep my thoughts, prayers, and my gratitude journal all in one notebook. This truly is key to becoming centered with oneself because you are focusing inward.

You must reflect on what has happened in your life and become introspective. Question yourself, question your life. Look within.

Pray for others, wish love and abundance for those you love.

Always write what you are grateful for every single day or at least have an alarm set at a specific time to make you stop what you are doing, close your eyes, breathe, and list five things you are grateful for.

2. Practice affirmations.

This is something I am a believer in. Affirmations will never steer you wrong because they speak to your truth.

Your affirmations must reflect your core personal values, and what you believe in. They have to reflect what reinforce your self worth and identity.

You actually say affirmations, and you may not even know it.

Negative: No matter what I do, nothing works out for me.

I am so fat, ugly, and stupid.

I always embarrass myself.

By thinking black and white statements, you are affirming something to be untrue. Sometimes, our thinking is impaired by mental illness. Affirmations have helped me in my cognitive impairment. Affirmations are essentially a declaration of your inner desires and what you wish to see in the world. You are manifesting an outcome.

Create your own positive affirmation with me.

* “I am” is typically the beginning due to its power and weight.(versus I will, or I don’t.)

* Affirm what you want — in present tense.

* Be very specific and concise.

* Include an action word (this can also replace I am).

* Include emotions.

Examples:

•I am attracting abundance into my life.

•Success effortlessly flows into my life.

•I am compassionate and forgiving; I release all beliefs that prevent me from expressing my highest self.

3. Develop your intuition.

Your intuition is the strongest force you can have. It is the subconscious. It is your guardian angel guiding you, step by step. It is your ancestors.

Always trust that your ancestors will give you a sign or a “knowing” about any situation. I am extremely intuitive and always know what to do because of my intuition.

In this day and age, we have instant gratification. What sets me apart is that I wait and read a situation before responding. I allow my angels/guides/ancestors to aid me in making an intuitively led decision. I trust myself, I trust the Spirit. Instead of searching desperately for an answer, I let it come to me.

Ask yourself: “What is this trying to teach me? What is God/my ancestors/etc trying to tell me?”

4. Inner Journey

You cannot aid a spiritual awakening until you begin to transform yourself inside and out. You have to examine what you need, personally. However, there is no way you can truly go on the journey without sacrificing the old to become the new.

A spiritually powerful person will

•Take the utmost care of themselves.

•Tune out unnecessary distractions.

•Help others.

•Learn to forgive.

•Practice patience.

•Be truthful.

•Be happy for others.

•Love themselves.

•Understand the power of now.

This is a journey you must be willing to embark on. Spirituality is from the inside out.

5. The Power of Now.

There is so much power in this very moment. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is a book that will give you necessary tools to navigate your spiritual journey, especially if you are a person that feels like happiness never comes or you are enraptured in negative thoughts.

It is easy to be stuck on things that have happened in the past and have hurt you in the past. To truly move on, you must focus on what you can do in this present moment. You’re not saying your past doesn’t exist, you’re using your past as a model for how to handle the present. Focus on what is occurring right now, and the rest will fall into place. This is why meditation and yoga is popular as well with people, because it forces you to be present in this very moment.

The most precious thing in the world is this present moment.

Books:

The Power of Now

The Four Agreements

The Secret

The Alchemist

Movies:

Eat, Pray, Love — A woman travels the world and it changes her life. Learn everything with her. This is a life changing movie as you can learn crucial spirituality lessons without traveling physically.

The Secret — Basically the same as the book. This is the origin of Law of Attraction.

Avatar: James Cameron — as it questions morals and has a strong root in spirituality with the pantheism and environmentalism. Look at it from this angle and you will see the movie differently. It’s truly emotional and a work of art.

YouTube:

Super Soul Sunday: Oprah Winfrey

Yoga With Adriene

TedTalk: 1, 2

#answered #advice #spirituality #dolldiaries

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wisherbysharlight · 4 years

Text

Adrenaline Rush of Admitting a Crush

Word Count: 1622 Ships:Prinxiety, mentioned Pintroverts AO3: here Thanks to @vintagesquid for the beta! Description: Spoilers for FWSA! Virgil can’t wait. He just can’t. He needs to do this now, but there are limits to even the adrenaline high of bravery...

Roman is right there. And he’s smiling, and dancing around the room, and squealing in a way he hadn’t in months, if not a year, and Virgil has to say something.

“Do you need to pee?”

He can’t stop shaking his hands, bouncing in place. He’s hearing Roman spouting off ideas left and right, sees his delighted expression, and,

“Are you sure you don’t need to pee?”

Virgil can’t wait. He just can’t. He needs to do this now, but there are limits to even the adrenaline high of bravery. As impatient as he is, he has to wait for Thomas to not be paying attention to them.

All this energy, all these emotions, all this bravery, he has to do it now, before he loses the adrenaline high, but of course Thomas still needs them. He still needs to run back through the entire scenario at least five times, to check and double check and triple check that it actually happened. Virgil can’t fault him for that, hell, he wants it all too.

But Roman.

Roman is right there. And he’s smiling, and dancing around the room, and squealing in a way he hadn’t in months, if not a year, and Virgil has to say something.

Finally, finally, Thomas goes upstairs to change, claiming to try to use some of his nervous energy for a run. They won’t be summoned again for a bit, most likely, and they’re safe to sink out into the mindspace’s version of the living room. No one else is around, and this is it, this is his moment, he can do this, he squares his shoulders and he looks at Roman and he opens his mouth and-

“You don’t have to say it Virgil,” Roman says before the sound can leave Virgil’s mouth, “I know. I won’t tell the others about,” he waves his hand vaguely at Virgil’s eyes, “sparkle city, or whatever, until you’re ready. I know you, worry. Heh. About the whole ‘emo nightmare’ reputation.”

Virgil’s shaking his head furiously before Roman can even get his whole sentence out, the shadows under his eyes darkening in concern, “No, Roman, they- if they don’t know already I don’t care if they do now. I’m excited, it happens, no use trying to hide it.”

Roman looks concerned at the change, taking a hesitant step towards him without seeming to think too much about it before stopping himself, “Then - then what’s up, Legion of Gloom?” “I wanted to talk to you. About today. And. And tell you that I- shit, I am terrible at this. How did Thomas do it?” Virgil grumbles, feeling his face flame up and sparing a thought to be grateful for his foundation. He has to break eye contact because looking straight at Roman is not helping, “Ok listen. I wasn’t going to say anything. I really wasn’t. But Roman, today. You said - you said a couple things that … that set off alarm bells for me, and I just - I feel like I need to tell you this so just let me get it all out before you say anything.”

Roman nods mutely, but his hands are still restless, still moving and grabbing onto each other then onto his sash then to his belt loops.

“Ok. Ok so, I’ve noticed. Recently. That you have been a little. Ugh, shit, what’s the word. I should’ve practiced this better. I’ve noticed you’ve been a little, uh, insecure? And I just wanted, no. No I needed you to know that I see everything you do and how hard you’ve been trying. How much you want to be right. I’ve been there, Princey, and it’s not a fun place to be. But Roman. Just. Know I see you, and that ... that you can trust me to be honest with you. About my feelings. Because god knows I don’t talk about them often. And Ro? I really, honestly, care about you. Seeing you happy today? Knowing that I, me, I myself was able to do that for you? Well. It forced me to acknowledge something I’d been trying very hard to ignore.”

Roman looks absolutely shell-shocked, eyes wide as saucers, mouth hanging open a bit, hands now twisting his sash between them, face flushed almost as red as his emblem. He drops the sash when Virgil stops talking, gesturing wildly at him, voice clearly on the verge of breaking, “What is it? Don’t leave a man in suspense, Virgil, a story like that cannot be left unfinished.” Virgil huffs out a laugh, fidgeting with the zipper on his sleeve, “You would be focused on the story, dramatic ass.” He huffs again, then stares up at the ceiling, “Roman, I- If I could make you smile like that. You- God you’re just so good Roman, and for a long time I think I was denying ... that I could ever be enough. But if I could do that, today, for you, for Thomas. Well. I think I can try. To be enough. And to let myself want to be-”

Virgil’s voice dies in his throat as Roman’s thumb gently presses on his chin, tilting his head down - when had he even moved that close - and oh. He’s smiling, that brilliant smile that Virgil was worried was reserved just for Nico - “Virgil. I was also concerned. About being. Enough. For you.”

“Well that’s stupid,” Virgil bursts out, then feels his face flame up and theres no way his foundation is enough to cover that. “Because. Because.”

“Because we’re both a bit stupid?” Roman grins, and his thumb moves slightly from where it’s still on his chin, the rest of his hand cupping his cheek, and that feels really nice. Maybe Virgil leans into it a bit, feels that light tingle under his eyes that means his shadow is shifting and fights the urge to sink out and hide it, “And maybe we are both enough? Or rather, that we balance each other quite nicely?” Virgil nods, and idly wonders when he became the mute one in this conversation, and where all this suaveness had been when they were trying to woo Nico, but those thoughts fly out the window when Roman’s thumb brushes feather-light over his bottom lip, “And maybe? We could try to explore how well we work together? As a team, and as more?”

Virgil knows he’s gone full-lavender at this point as he nods, careful not to dislodge Roman’s thumb. He leans in, feeling even braver than when he had shoved Thomas earlier, bolstered even more by the urge to assuage the doubt still hiding in Roman’s eyes, but still slow in case he’s wrong (oh god, what if he’s wrong), but Roman surges forward, capturing his lips and holding onto his face with both hands. Virgil even doesn’t know what to do with his own hands, he’s so happy he can’t possibly keep them still, so he just holds onto Roman’s shoulders, then his arms, then his hair (oh soft hair that’s a good place to stay), and lets Roman take the lead.

Virgil notices a moment later that Roman’s humming, and it doesn’t feel intentional, which makes him grin into the kiss and causes Roman to start laughing, and then they’re both off. They’re leaning into each other still, but Virgil’s hands are flapping on either side of Roman and Roman’s bouncing on the balls of his feet and neither of them can stop giggling long enough to even say anything. They just exist in each others’ spaces, giggling just like before, only this time Virgil can smell the mint from Roman’s breath, can see the sparkle in his eye, and it makes him feel like he can take on the world.

Eventually, Roman quiets enough to speak, though he’s still grinning like a loon, “So, I guess I have to start thinking of fun pet names instead of just plain nicknames, huh Hot Topic?” “I knew you thought I was hot,” Virgil croons back without missing a beat, feeling less off kilter with his trademark smirk, though he knows his shadow still betrays the levity in his entire being.

Roman leans in to kiss him again, and their laughter returns when Virgil is caught off guard enough by Roman nipping at his lip that he stumbles. ‘You’re supposed to be alert, Virgil. Get back on your game.’ the nasty voice that sounds a lot like his own from the past hisses in his ear, but is drowned out quickly when Roman swoons dramatically and coos, “Oh Virgil I knew you’d fall for me eventually.”

“I’ll show you falling,” Virgil growls playfully, pushes Roman to the couch and straddles him, getting his hands back in that soft hair and pulling him up for another kiss, then another, and another, each only to be interrupted when one of them gets so overwhelmed they squirm, or squeak, or hum, or flap, and they dissolve into laughter again, like they have all the time in the world.

At some point, they’ll have to debrief the other sides on the particulars of what went down at the mall food court today. They’ll discuss Janus being overworked and exhausted and in everyone else’s business, and address Patton’s suspicious absence in a matter of the heart, and assist Logan with his inevitable sulking about yet another emotional connection to maintain, and deal with Remus’ certainly ever-growing list of new material featuring that new connection.

Eventually, they, Roman and Virgil, would have to address their insecurities in a less indirect manner, and actually talk through them to make sure neither one was rushing in blind. It all needed to happen, but later. For now, with just the two of them here on the couch, Virgil couldn’t bring himself to fear any of it, even though it was all residing in the back of his mind.

Bravery. Huh. He could get used to that.

#prinxiety #roman sanders #virgil sanders #fwsa #flirting with social anxiety #stimmy virgil #stimmy roman #look at me writing canon fic who AM i #my writing

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taetaespeaches · 4 years

Text

“Please forgive me if I end up breaking your heart.”

jimin x reader (or oc) genre: fluff word count: 3.2K

a/n: I hope this isn’t too much of a mess :( as I was editing I ended up changing things and adding a bunch so I’m not sure if it flows all that well but nonetheless, here it is. This takes place a week after Jimin and Dear define their relationship in “I think we should avoid overthinking.” I hope you all enjoy and thank you for reading! :))

p.s. Happy Jimin Day! I love this sweet, one of a kind man so much!! I hope he had an amazing birthday <3

p.s.s. Happy birthday @thatredwine!!! <3 Jimin’s birthday twin :( thank you so much for all of the support you give me and my writing. It’s unreal and I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you found this blog. I love having you here and I just adore you. 28 is going to look amazing on you. I hope you enjoy this drabble, it’s for you <3 (it also features a bit of Joon bc you deserve it)

WITH his hand encasing yours, fingers intertwined, he dragged you through the hallway, you giggling as you he told you to hurry up.

“We have about thirty minutes, maybe more,” he told you, turning the corner, Namjoon’s studio door in sight. “Gotta hustle, Dear.”

“You’re gonna yank my arm out of its socket,” you joked, Jimin scoffing as he looked back at you with a fond smile.

“So dramatic,” he teased as he pulled you against his chest, wrapping his arms around your body and leading you backwards toward Namjoon’s studio, your hands enclosing over his slim waist as you giggled. “Remind me to get you a crown.”

“Huh?” You asked in confusion, Jimin smirking.

Suddenly, he halted, his arm leaving your body momentarily to knock on the door. “Drama queen,” he told you simply, you huffing as you rolled your eyes, Jimin letting out a light chuckle.

Knocking on the door again, Jimin’s eyes pulled together in question. You both waited in silence for a moment, hearing no “come in” or “one second”; just complete silence, which would have been fairly normal for Yoongi’s studio, but not Namjoon’s. Jimin knocked again, you both waiting for a response, still receiving none.

“Should we just walk in?” He asked, you shrugging against him. Waiting a couple more seconds, Jimin tried the knob, and when it turned, he shrugged and pulled the door open, turning his back to it as he walked backward into it, you peering over your boyfriend’s shoulder to spot Namjoon’s new but very close friend shaking out her hair as Namjoon straightened his posture in his chair, spinning around to look at his intruders.

“Oh?” You said in surprise, Jimin quickly letting you go as he turned around in suspicion.

“Oh, sorry,” your boyfriend immediately said, both of you staring awkwardly at Namjoon as he sat in his chair, his hair slightly disheveled as his friend stood beside him, her hand on her hip as if to look nonchalant. “I didn’t know you were here, my bad,” Jimin explained, the girl shaking her head as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“What are you two up to?” She asked, trying to act normal, despite you and Jimin nearly catching them in a… compromising position, despite the duo’s claim to be ‘just friends’.

“Ah, not much, I just finished recording for a bit,” he told the girl. “We’re actually just heading to do the thing I told you about,” Jimin said, directing his comment to Namjoon, the man’s eyes widening as Jimin spoke. “So I just thought I’d let someone know in case they need me sooner than they expected,” he explained to Namjoon, the older man clearing his throat as he nodded.

“Oh, yeah, cool,” Namjoon continued to nod, his friend holding back a smile. “Have fun,” Namjoon added, smirking as he caught the girl fighting her amusement.

“Yeah,” Jimin said, grabbing your hand. “You too,” your boyfriend noted with a teasing tone, Namjoon snorting as his friend slapped his arm. Leading you out of the room, Jimin chuckled to himself, you following along with an amused smile of your own.

Shutting the door behind you both, you and Jimin looked to each other with knowing expressions. “They’re just friends,” you told Jimin innocently, the man throwing his head back in laughter, falling against you adorably.

“Ahh,” he yelled out, pushing you down the hallway, “so awkward,” he did a little wiggle to physically express his discomfort at catching them as they were up to something.

“Oh shush,” you giggled, “they’re cute. And they’re taking things at their own pace, which we know all about, now don’t we,” you told your boyfriend, the man smiling as he nodded.

“Points,” he noted, you scrunching your nose at him. “Now come on, we got places to be,” he told you, you giggling as he led you to god knows where. Reaching the elevator, you gave him a skeptical look. “Just trust me,” he giggled. “Close your eyes.”

With a bit of hesitance, which was just to tease him, you shut them, allowing him to press the floor number without you watching. Stepping behind you, he placed his hands over your eyes to shield your vision from his pending surprise.

“Where the hell are we going?” You asked through your massive grin, Jimin pressing a kiss to the back of your head.

“Patience,” he whispered into your hair.

“I have none,” you added, Jimin giggling as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

When the elevator dinged, the door opening, he gently guided you out, you both taking a few steps forward before stopping. “Ok,” he breathed out. “We’re nearly there.” Spinning your bodies 180 degrees, he continued covering your eyes. “Any guesses?”

“I literally have no clue,” you admitted, just as Jimin’s giggles intermingled with the sounds of a door opening, street noises soon joining the mix. Hit with a rush of cool air, you gasped. “Oh my god, are we on the roof?”

Uncovering your eyes, Jimin stepped back from you as you turned around to see him standing with his arms open, the Seoul city lights shining behind him. “Surprise,” he told you softly, you shaking your head in disbelief.

“Jimin,” you cooed. “This is so cool, oh my god.” Looking around in surprise, you wondered why you had never been up there before. “Wait, I didn’t even know there was access to the roof, since when is this allowed?”

Letting out a light chuckle, he reached out for you, pulling you into him as he held you in a hug, your arms easily wrapping around his waist. “Honestly, I don’t know if it is allowed, which is why I had to tell Namjoon where we are so he can tell me if I’m needed. That way we can hurry down without getting caught,” he chuckled, you pulling away to shoot him a look of shock.

“You’re so bad,” you smiled as you teased him. “Sweet, and unbelievably amazing, but so bad.”

“Thank you,” he smirked. “Come here,” he told you, grabbing your hand and leading you further into the space, allowing you to see the little picnic basket, which you immediately recognized at Jin’s.

“Chim, oh my god, what have you done?” You asked, the man laughing in amusement by your surprise.

“We’ve been a couple for a week now, and I haven’t had time to take you out on a proper date yet,” he told you, turning to look at you. “So I thought maybe this would be a decent alternative until I can take you out.”

With the moonlight and the Seoul skyline reflecting off his face, you were able to make out his bashful expression, his nervousness etched into his pretty features. Driven by pure love and appreciation, you wasted no time in placing your hand to the side of his face, pressing your lips to his as you kissed him passionately.

Since deciding to take the step from friends to lovers, there had been a lot of kissing between the two of you, but this one felt different as you tried to pour every ounce of love and admiration and gratitude you’d developed for him, not just in that moment but over the course of your entire time knowing the man.

No man had ever respected you and cared for you the way Jimin did, and you found it easy to open up to him, which was rare for you. You’d been in love with him for so long, you forgot what it felt like to not love Jimin. And that’s what you wanted to tell him with the kiss.

You were afraid that words would never be enough. Or that you wouldn’t be able to speak the words as you meant them.

Pulling away just slightly, you pecked his lips once more before whispering, “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express to you how much I love you, and I’m sorry for that.” Tears began forming in your eyes as you spoke. “But please know, you’ve changed me and my life, and I couldn’t be more grateful for you and your existence.”

Jimin let out a breath of air, as if he had been holding it in, scared of missing a single syllable of your confession. “I-“ he started, searching his overwhelmed mind for the right words. “This really isn’t much, Dear,” he downplayed the thought he put into the evening.

“It’s everything, Chim,” you assured him. “Thank you.”

“I love you,” he told you before kissing you repeatedly, you giggling at the action, the kiss becoming perfectly messy, riddled with laughter and smiles. Pulling you against his frame, he hugged you close and tightly, you exhaling into the embrace as you melted in your boyfriend’s arms. “Do you want to see what I brought?” He whispered in your ear, alluding to the picnic basket.

Pulling away from him to look at his face, you nodded. With a stunning smile, he turned away from you, releasing you from his hold as he crouched down next to the basket. Pulling out a bottle of wine, he gracefully used his other hand to model it, you gasping in appreciation.

“Is there even food in there or is it just wine,” you teased, Jimin giggling as he pulled out some insulated lunch boxes. “Wow, my boyfriend, everyone,” you noted, looking around at the city. “Incredible.”

“Jin helped me,” he exposed himself, you giggling as Jimin set the food and wine down. “I did however forget wine glasses, because I’m an idiot,” he told you as he pulled out a pair of plastic cups. “So I stole these from Yoongi’s studio.”

“Resourceful,” you complimented with a grin. “That’s sexy.” With a snort, he put the cups down, grabbing his phone and connecting it to a Bluetooth speaker before starting some music. “You really did plan everything out,” you appreciated, Jimin smiling shyly as he worked on uncorking the wine.

The song that echoed across the rooftop, fading into the night sky, was ‘Sweet’ by Cigarettes After Sex. As you swayed to the song, Jimin pouring the wine into the disposable cups, your eyes were set on him. Looking up at you, he smiled before standing, holding out one of the cups to you.

You know that I’m obsessed with your body

But it’s the way you smile that does it for me.

Jimin’s smile. There really was nothing quite like it in the world. You were obsessed with it; especially when it was directed to you, his expression full of love.

Taking the cup from him, you tapped it against his own. “To us,” you spoke softly, Jimin’s smile only widening, his eyes turning to crescents.

“To us, Dear.” Both of you took a drink of the wine, the swallows a bit larger than what most people would take. And as soon as the slightly bitter liquid slid down your throats, Jimin’s arm was wrapped around your waist, pulling you to his body as he swayed with you.

“I still can’t believe you did all of this,” you told him, Jimin’s gaze scanning over your face thoughtfully.

Cocking his head to the side, he pulled his eyebrows together slightly. “Of course I did this for you,” he told you sincerely. “I want to do more for you. I want to give you everything.”

“You love me in a way that no one ever has,” you whispered. “With my dad,” you started, Jimin nodding in understanding, making it so you didn’t have to elaborate on your father’s absence in your life since you were young. “And my dating history,” you added, your boyfriend’s hand sliding from your lower back to your side, squeezing comfortingly. “It’s hard for me to feel worthy of you sometimes.” The admission had him shaking his head slowly at you.

“You’re worth more than what I can give you,” he assured you while also revealing one of his own insecurities. “But thank you for allowing me to try to love you the way you deserve.”

“Jimin,” you started, your boyfriend talking over you.

“I’m always going to be trying,” he told you firmly. “I promise.”

“I wouldn’t ask you for more, Chim,” you assured him. “What you can give me is more than enough. Never doubt that.”

Leaning toward you, Jimin caught your lips with his own, kissing you passionately, expressing unspoken promises into the action. You knew Jimin was very much in love with you, and though you loved him just as deeply and devotedly, you were still learning to trust yourself with someone as generous and sensitive as your lover.

Resting his forehead against your own, your hand met the side of his face as you cradled his soft cheek. “Jimin,” you breathed out shakily. “Please forgive me if I end up breaking your heart.”

You weren’t sure where the words came from. Perhaps it was the song’s bridge, repeating the lyric, “And I will gladly break it, I will gladly break my heart for you,” and your knowledge that Jimin would do just that for you. Or perhaps it was your internalized belief that you could never treat someone like Jimin the way they deserved to be treated. You didn’t mean to speak the words, but you realized how truly you felt them. If you broke his heart, you wouldn’t just lose a boyfriend, you’d lose your best friend. Your favorite person. Your soulmate. And it would be all your fault.

“Hey,” he interrupted your thoughts, placing a sweet peck to you lips to bring your attention to him. “You won’t break my heart.” Before you could protest, he shook his head. “No, I trust you, Dear.”

You hoped he was right.

Nodding, he smiled comfortingly at you. “I love you,” he told you for the second time that night, your lips curving into a small smile that you just couldn’t hold back.

“I love you, Chim.” The phrase had been exchanged frequently between you both but you didn’t think you’d ever tire of hearing them, or saying them.

As the song faded out, the next one starting, you rested your head against his shoulder, nuzzling your nose against his neck in a way that made him squirm from being ticklish.

In that moment, the man who owned your heart blissfully happy, you could see the accumulating moments throughout your friendship that led you to this rooftop with him. It was as if it was playing back in your mind like a movie montage on one of those old film reels…

Your first meeting with Jimin on that October night, his birthday, his smile as bright as the street lamps and neon signs shining in the night sky; the time he brought you body wash, handing it to you as you showered, you splashing his face with water, teasing him about sneaking a peak at your naked frame; the countless times he had brought takeout and wine to your apartment after work asking you all about your day as you both downed the bottle, becoming increasingly touchier the more the alcohol influenced your actions; the night you first told him about your childhood, opening up about the absence that had impacted you throughout your life; dancing with him in the studio a few weeks prior, nearly kissing him for the first time before Taehyung barged in cluelessly, asking if you wanted to go get pancakes at 11 pm; and the night you and Jimin finally crossed the line of friendship, just a week ago after two years of holding back, hands feeling every morsel of flesh as you tried to grasp onto the reality of the moment, feeling rushes of excitement and relief, Jimin’s stunning features glowing in the low light of your bedroom as his darkened eyes focused on you and only you.

With the past two years of experiences with this man running through your head, you realized that maybe you didn’t completely trust yourself with loving him quite yet, but it was Jimin. And as much as no one had ever loved you like Jimin did, you also had never loved anyone like you did Jimin.

Placing your trust in the universe that led you into one another’s arms, and more importantly, in Jimin, and his unwavering faith in you, you realized that was enough. This moment, him, it was all enough. Relaxing in his arms, you kissed the side of his neck tenderly.

“I think you’re the end of all my endings,” you whispered, Jimin smiling as he soothed his hand overtop your hip.

“I know I am,” he said simply, you giggling at his surety as he lifted his cup to his lips. Downing the wine in a few gulps, he nodded to you, you smiling before doing the same. Taking the cup from you, he dropped them to the ground, grabbing your hand to pull you against him, leading you in a proper dance as he hummed along with the melody of a song you didn’t recognize.

Soaking in the moonlight, every touch Jimin placed upon your body felt like home while simultaneously sending a rush throughout your frame. Spinning you under his arm, you threw your head back in laughter at nothing but the bliss that came with being with Jimin in this way. Carefree and in love. So fucking in love.

Draping your hands over his shoulders, his find your waist, you sighed contently. “Thank you for always believing in me,” you sincerely expressed your gratitude for the man. His gaze was kind as he watched you carefully. “You help me see the good in myself.”

Jimin’s soft eyes scanned your features, a smile forming on his pretty lips. “I won’t stop until you see what I see,” he told you with a grin. “And even then, I won’t stop.” You giggled at the comment, Jimin pressing his lips to your cheek. “Do you think there’s another us somewhere in the world?” He asked thoughtfully, his orbs staring into yours.

Lightly chewing on your bottom lip, you hummed. “No,” you answered simply, watching as the smile on your boyfriend’s lips widened, his eyes crinkling. “Maybe that’s naïve,” you shrugged, “but I don’t think there’s anyone else on the entire planet quite like you,” you told him. “And I think we’re special.”

“I agree with that last statement,” he nodded cutely. Giggling at his adorableness, you pulled him into another kiss, the man easily falling into step with your lead, arms wrapping fully around your waist as he pulled you flush with his own stature.

With the music humming in the backdrop of the chilly night air, you basked in the rareness of your union, your lips moving against his own. It was that moment that you vowed to always fight for Jimin. Fight for your us. You promised yourself and you promised the man, though he was unaware of it, that you would battle anything that tried to come between you both. Even if it was your own mind. You wouldn’t let him slip away.

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tetsustation · 3 years

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APPRECIATION POST !!

in another words, lina loves her friends a little too much & doesn’t necessarily know the right means of expressing it </3

cass [ @misutv ] — uh im in a sappy mood so if you’re not rockin with the sap please scroll! epic, okay. hi... lol hey. thanks for pushing me to do this. now i know you know that i love you, with my chest! from when we first started talking to all these months later, that feeling hasn’t changed (even though you took two months ALLEGEDLY to warm up). i think our friendship is unique in the sense that i really never expect anything from you, when we’re on the phone or texting it feels natural and when i think of you my first thought is that i want whats best for you. isn’t that crazy? i don’t think i say it enough, but i care a lot about you—about all of you, whatever your feeling at any given moment or whatever project you chose to pursue at the time just know i’m there to back it and never expect anything from you, besides just that—you. i hope this is making some sense, knowing me this might be a bit of a mess, a ramble even. still, i think your exceptional—inside out, i’m really glad to be your best friend even if its just through some silly little app. i appreciate everything you do for me, even if i’m shit at saying so, because its baffling that you feel so inclined to dedicate some time in your day to me—i could melt i think. fair warning, i’m gonna crush your lungs at the airport. all my love loser >:)

hesther [ @hesthermay ] — how many months has it been now? hesther, you are such a solid constant in my life and i literally cannot thank you enough. from our strangely comparative music taste to the oldest sister bonding, i really feel like your the one person i can really resonate with that i haven’t met in person (yet). even if it’s weird to say, i love reading your marvel drabbles and personal pieces because it’s oddly intimate in personal in a way that implies a lot of trust. i know i can rely on you if i need anything, and vice versa. every week i pull you into my world, and the next week you pull me into yours—it’s an entertaining constant that remains me i’m not alone in my silly little struggles. i’m really glad i met you, and i’m so grateful i get to call you my friends (and i get butterflies when you call me butterfly). not to be gross but please don’t stop being you, it makes me smile, thanks hes <3 love you.

selene [ @hajigumi ] — hey whore (lovingly). we’re coming onto two months now and it doesn’t really feel like it but i guess i’ll take it. honestly, it feels like we’ve known each other for a really long time—maybe its the same timezone thing but you just feel so familiar. i get a little skippy when you tell me that i’m stuck with you because i really love being your friend, its such a comforting experience and i’ve grown such a fondness for you i don’t think will fade. you suck, frankly, for being so welcoming. i love hearing about your day, boring or not—and i’m grateful your always willing to be about mine. despite what anyone says, your a great cat mom and an even better friend... giggles... love you mwah.

ly [ @kyotarou ] — i almost typed out the govt name help... babe i love you so much. it’s impressive how you put your heart into everything you do, and it’s really shocking to me when you yourself don’t realize just how much of yourself you put into the things you do. just today when you were making those little polaroids, the dedication that you had to finish them and package them all pretty was truly heartwarming. that, among many other things—including your work which is always quality despite the seemingly mass production of it. i know your younger than me, but i aspire to be like you in that respect. your wit never ceases to amaze me and i think you were one of the first people i felt comfortable thirsting with because our taste is so similar (daishou fucker solidarity i think). i have such a strong appreciation for you as a friend and i hope it stays like that for a long time.

angela [ @oikirstein ] — i think i’m gonna take a step in the right direction and try to be civil (kidding) but bestie when you’re sending audio messages of you scream sobbing about manhwa i can’t help but giggle. something that drew me into you was your humor, because honestly, i couldn’t help but feel really comfortable with you? even one on one, its just easy to talk with you because theres always so much on your mind—so much so that it’d be impossible to be bored. NO YOU KNOW WHAT SIDETRACKING BECAUSE YOU JUST CALLED ME THE EVIL TWIN UM. angela please never change, i don’t think i could bare it. i tolerate (love) you... ig....stay swag.

violetta [ @hikariakaashi ] — once again i am tempted to pull out the govt name HELP. that’s just how comfortable we are with each other, i think. you were one of the first people to interact with me on hq tumblr, so far back that you probably remember my red/black alyssa layout lol—but thats really shocking to me because our friendship has grown so much sense then. it makes me giggle to think that i can just text you about stupid stuff and you’d tolerate it. you’re another person i feel as though i know in real life, its just so easy talking to each other, and my only hope is that we get even closer. mwah mwah!

rissie [ @levbug ] —rissie rissie rissie! i don’t care how much we slander and tease you, i love you to bits. please because you’re so funny and easy to talk to i feel like we’re besties. i could listen to you ramble for like an hour i just wanna hug you bae, thank you for being the only armin lover in the room—it makes me feel very seen. we gotta stick together >:)

rheya [ @diorpieck ] — hey rheya twirls hair...i really have a lot to thank you for because without hq radio i wouldn’t have met over half the people on this list and it baffles me how close we’ve become since. you are such a natural leader and i feel so honored i get to talk to you (the fact that you handle me is just as surprising). thanks for looking out for me and everyone else, because i don’t think we’d be where we are without you. thank you :>

jade [ @iwaizoom ] — jade i honestly do not know how to say this but apparently i’ve followed you since like last july (this is news to me too) and i’ll spare you the speech—but in short there was some fan behavior. i truly love talking to you, its so smooth and your energy is beyond welcoming. laughing at stupid shit with you makes me giggle like crazy and i’m so glad i get to call you a friend. stay in school mwah!

issy [ @cafemiya ] — hey pissie <3 i don’t know what it is but your presence is so comforting i love just talking to you, being around you, interacting—it feels like spring if that makes sense. you’ve written a lot of my comfort fics on this hellsite and for that i am permanently indebted to you. please consider this the start of my reparations and just know your existence in and of itself makes me all bubbly (lovingly) KISS!

nayru [ @luvoratomi ] — i feel like we’ve known each other forever even though it’s only been a few months. still, you’re so consistent which is something i really admire about you, your messages to ask me about my day or hanging out in the discord is so grounding because i know i can count on you—which sounds silly but just know despite the teasing i love you a lot <3

cal [ @lovekags ] — don’t tell anyone but you’re my favorite epic gamer cal, i know we just started getting close but you’re so incredibly cool and talking to you feels so natural! your raw skill in so many different areas is baffling to me and makes me all blushy lol, thanks for rockin with me and i can’t wait to see how that powerpoint turns out >:)!!

#mutual.love #the typos in this are astronomical uh #angela dni 🙁🙁#THIS MADE ME WARM AND FUZZY.#i apologize in advance bc i'm not a very gush-over-my-friends type of person #but i love them a lot #note that i adore all my mutuals these are just the weirdos i talk to on the daily giggles #KISSES YOU ALL SO HARD.#help okay #yall have seen my face and have my socials.... better stay humble

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heliads · 3 years

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Troubled Waters Chapter 2: The Summoning

Strange happenings are starting to plague Beacon Hills. Scott McCall and his pack have always been able to defend their hometown no matter how dangerous the threat, but they may need the help of mysterious newcomer Y/N L/N.

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For a moment, everyone is silent. The chatter of nearby students fades to a distant hum, and all Scott can focus on is the words that just left Y/N’s lips.

Beware the naiads.

In a second, Scott’s trance breaks and he blinks to regain his concentration. “The naiads?” Stiles looks confused. “What are naiads?” Y/N looks down at the paper, and then back at the gathering of bewildered friends. “They’re these water spirits from Ancient Greece. They used to live in rivers or any source of fresh water, and they were often worshipped as minor goddesses.”

Malia squints at Y/N, trying to figure something out. “Could they, say, control water and make it move around like crazy?” Lydia sends a warning glare at her friend, but Y/N doesn’t appear to notice anything. “Yeah, they could probably do that. Most naiads would stay in a specific area or region, and they could control the water in that area.” Malia leans back, nodding and looking thoughtful.

Kira looks at the paper again. “Is there anything else you could tell us about the message? Like, which naiads or how to find them?” Y/N looks over at her, curious. “Well, I could probably help you with researching them, but I don’t think we could actually find any. They’re mythological entities, they don’t actually exist.” Her eyes clear. “Oh, is this for a project? I thought some history or English teacher was doing something like this.”

Stiles’ eyes go wide. “Yes! Yeah, that’s it. A project. Definitely, definitely just a project. I mean, who would believe in mythological creatures, you know?” Scott raises his eyebrows at that, and turns his gaze back to Y/N. “Would you mind helping us? You seem like you know the most about these naiads, and where to start looking.” Y/N nods happily. “Sure! Meet you at the library today after school?”

Scott and his friends readily agree, and just like that, the pack has their first lead. As the bell rings and everyone disperses to their classes, Scott can’t help but think more about the events of that lunch. Are naiads the latest threat to Beacon Hills? How could he stop something that could control water? Hopefully, Y/N will help them uncover something helpful, like wolfsbane for mermaids or a naiad-proof symbol that could be carved into the boundaries of the town. Scott laughs quietly to himself at that. Maybe his curiosity is making him a little paranoid.

By the time Scott makes it from his last class down to the library, Y/N and his friends have already claimed a table in the back. Stiles has his laptop up and running, scanning Wikipedia pages and different Greek Mythology websites. Lydia has pulled a bunch of books from the library shelves, and she and Kira are paging through them.

Scott pulls up a chair, sinking down exhaustedly. “Hi! We’re just doing some background research, nothing much so far.” Y/N greets him cheerfully and Scott smiles at her, grabbing the nearest book and starting to flip through it.

They end up spending about half an hour in the library before they have to leave. Between lacrosse practice and general protection of Beacon Hills, none of them have a whole lot of free time that they can spend on research. Scott bids his friends goodbye, and, slinging his backpack onto his shoulder, walks out of the library and into the fresh sunlight of the afternoon.

Scott’s just about to start up his motorcycle when he sees Y/N walking home. An idea pops into his head, and he jogs over to her. “Need a ride? I can take you home on my bike.” At the sound of Scott’s voice, Y/N smiles at him gratefully. “Actually, that would be great, thanks.” She follows him back to the motorcycle and hops on behind him, accepting the offered helmet and wrapping her arms around him to steady herself. As the bike takes off, she leans into him, and Scott realizes he is all too disappointed when he finds himself coming to a stop at her house.

His mom had always been a stickler for manners, and so Scott walks Y/N to the front door of her house. Just before she unlocks her door, though, Y/N turns to Scott with the air of someone desperate to get something off of their chest.

“Look, I’m sorry for intruding on your project so much. I’m kind of feeling bad about it now- I’m not even in your group and I feel like I’m already too involved. I didn’t mean to take it away from you, I guess I just got excited about the topic. I’ll back off, I promise.” Scott looks up, surprised. “Oh, no, it’s nothing like that. Trust me, we are desperate for your help. I mean, without you we’d still be staring at that piece of paper. If anything, I’m sorry that we’re forcing you to do all this research for a project that isn’t even yours.”

Y/N grins at that. “Well, I’m glad you still want me around. See you tomorrow, Scott.” With that, she slips inside her house, leaving Scott with a smile spreading across his face. Tomorrow afternoon cannot come fast enough.

Now that Y/N has been reassured that the group wants her there, she throws herself into the project. She finds websites exploring every detail of the naiads, pictures of ancient murals, and any tidbit of information that could possibly be helpful. However, Scott knows that they’ll have to come clean about the true purpose of the project. He and his pack had had a long discussion the previous night about just how to tell Y/N that naiads and the supernatural were all real, and living in Beacon Hills.

Scott folds his arms in front of his chest and turns to Y/N, who closes the top of her laptop when she notices his gaze. “What’s up?” She inquires, and Scott mentally prepares himself. “Have you found anything in your research about how to summon a naiad? Like how to capture one or where to find one?” Y/N’s laugh is a little incredulous. “Well, I don’t think you’d really need to know. You know, you actually haven’t told me much about the goal of this project. Surely your teacher left you with some clues or something?”

Scott lets out a troubled breath, fixing Y/N with a steady gaze. “We lied to you about that, I’m afraid. See, the thing is, there was never a project. We needed your help with finding out about these naiads because they are real, and in Beacon Hills. We have to find and capture one because they are a real, legitimate threat to the town and everyone in it.”

Y/N is silent for a moment, and Scott notices that there’s absolutely no emotion in her face. No fear, no shock, no surprise. Nothing. Is she really taking the news that well? Then she speaks, and Scott realizes that it’s actually going a lot worse than he had hoped.

“You know, when you first came to me about the naiads I thought you were just really excited about this project. I thought that you truly wanted my help, and I’ll be honest, you did a really good job of convincing me that you had the purest of intentions. Tell me, were you really planning on humiliating me this entire time? Did you really think I’d fall for that? Man, I was just thinking you guys were maybe even friends of mine. All for what, so you could prank me into trying to track down mermaids?”

She heaves a disgusted sigh, and roughly sweeps her laptop and books into her backpack before storming out of the library. The pack exchange similar expressions of worry, alarm, and guilt before Scott hurries after Y/N’s retreating figure.

He manages to catch her just before she leaves the door. The hallways are empty of students, as everyone else has left school, so he feels no shame in calling her name. “Y/N, wait! I swear, we weren’t trying to trick you.” She spins around, looking at him bitterly. “Then what was the point of that? Are you really trying to tell me that you honestly want help in tracking down a mermaid?” Scott sighs, then nods. “Yes, we were. And before you go, please hear me out.”

Scott glances quickly down the halls, making sure nobody can see them, then speaks quickly in a low whisper. “I can prove that it’s real. All of it. You just have to promise not to tell anyone.” Y/N looks curious now. “Okay, I promise. What’s your proof?” Scott checks one last time to ensure that they are alone, then makes his eyes glow the crimson red of the True Alpha. He extends his claws from his right hand, and Y/N stares at them.

Her eyes are wide, from fear or shock he cannot tell. She stands there for a moment, Scott too nervous to say or do anything. How is she going to respond to this? Then, she speaks slowly. “What are you?” Scott puts away his claws. “I’m a werewolf.” Y/N nods slowly. “A werewolf. Cool. So, a werewolf wants me to help track down a mermaid. Okay.” Scott looks at her uncertainty. “You’re fine with that?” He notices that she doesn’t seem afraid, just a little overwhelmed. Y/N just shrugs her shoulders. “I’m sure it’ll hit me harder once I come to terms with it, but for now, I guess I am. Time for more research?” Scott breaks into a relieved laugh. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

Scott’s friends look just as grateful as he feels to see Y/N walking back into the library with him. She sits down, then looks at each one of the friends in turn. “So, if he’s a werewolf, what are the rest of you?” Stiles raises his hand. “Well, I’m just a human, but Lydia’s a banshee, Kira’s a kitsune, and Malia’s a werecoyote.” Y/N raises her eyebrows. “Wow.” Kira smiles comfortingly. “Yeah, it’s a little much, but at least you know we aren’t being mean, right?” Y/N smiles in return. “Definitely. Now, let’s see about finding a naiad.”

They work for a little longer before Y/N plops a book down into the center of the table. She and Lydia have been poring over some chapters, and they seem to have found the right thing. Y/N points to a selected page. “Look here- to summon a water spirit, all you have to do is say this chant thing, and they’ll be bound to you. It looks like they’ll use mountain ash-” Malia cuts her off. “Check, got that.” Y/N flashes her a thumbs up and continues reading. “Mountain ash and this chant, which they have written here. It’s in Ancient Greek, but I think all you’ll have to do is just sound out the syllables and you should be good to go. Who’s going to read the chant?”

She is greeted by dead silence. Y/N looks at each one of them in turn. “Come on, surely you’re not going to make me do it? Wouldn’t it be better if a supernatural being said the chant than some human who read about it once?” Scott lays a hand on her shoulder encouragingly. “Honestly, I think you would be the best one to do that. You’re the only one who understands Ancient Greek, and that would most likely be best for reading the chant. I mean, if I tried to say it I’d probably end up just saying some random gibberish that wouldn’t work. You’re our best shot at this.”

Y/N still looks unconvinced, but she eventually relents. “Fine, I’ll do it. It’s pretty easy anyway, only a paragraph. So, when are we summoning this naiad?” Lydia looks to Scott. “What about tonight? I can get us to the lake house, so we’ll have a body of water to reach the naiad.” Scott agrees. “It’s better to find out what’s going on with the naiads sooner rather than later. Are we all okay for naiad-summoning tonight?” Stiles shrugs. “Well, I’ve got nothing better to do. What’s wrong with a good night of talking to mermaids?”

They all disperse back to their houses, preparing for the events to follow. Scott grabs a jar of mountain ash, and double-checks to make sure he’s brought the book with the summoning chant. By the time Stiles arrives in his Jeep to pick him up, Scott can feel the stress building. “Come on Scott, it’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” Scott sighs. “I hope so.”

Lydia greets them once they arrive at the lake house, with Malia and Y/N sharing a ride shortly after. Kira is already out back, preparing mountain ash borders just in case. Before he knows it, it’s time for Y/N to summon the naiad. She gives Scott one last worried look. “Are we sure this is a good idea?” Scott wraps his arm around her comfortingly. “Don’t worry about it- you’re practically fluent in Ancient Greek and I know you’ll pull it off just fine. Besides, it’s supposed to follow your every command and if not, you’ve got a small gathering of supernaturals ready to defend you.” She smiles at that. “Well, let’s get started.”

Y/N takes her place at the dock. The rest of the pack is circled behind her, mountain ash at the ready. Y/N flips open the book to the proper place, and starts to read. The Greek words flow from her mouth as easily as if they were her natural tongue, and as she gets farther along into the chant, the water starts to churn and eddy just like it had that weekend. Y/N doesn’t let it affect her, though, and she keeps reading. Just as she finishes the chant, the water starts to swirl into a whirlpool just a few feet away from the edge of the dock.

Y/N backs away, apprehensive, as a figure emerges from the center of the whirlpool. It walks slowly across the remainder of the water separating itself and the dock, and then climbs up until it’s standing opposite Y/N, beads of water dripping off of it and onto the wooden planks of the dock.

Scott stares at it. Although they’d been presented with more than enough proof that the naiads were coming to Beacon Hills, he still wasn’t sure that it was real. This presence before them, though, is more than enough to convince him. Its skin is tinted blue, shining and ghostly in the rising light of the moon. Its hair is soaking wet, plastered to its shoulders and back. Pearls and shells adorn its clothing, which is light and silky. Its eyes glow a blue of the ocean, twin sapphires that seemed to hold the world’s seas in the depths of their gaze.

It opens its mouth and speaks to Y/N, addressing her in a glossy voice that reminds Scott somehow of the glide of foam across ocean waves. “Greetings, sister. You have my command.” Y/N stiffens almost imperceptibly. “I don’t know who you are or what you’re doing here. Are you a naiad, one who sent the message to those gathered here a few days ago.” The naiad’s eyes dart to the gathered friends. “Yess, I am.” Y/N nods, drawing up the courage to look the naiad dead in the eyes. “I order you to follow me.”

She leads the spirit off of the dock and into the circle of mountain ash. Just as planned, it flies up and encircles her wrists like chains. Y/N speaks one last line of Greek from the book, which causes the naiad to fall to the ground, unconscious. Y/N looks up at her friends, an incredulous smile starting to creep across her face. “Well, we did it. One naiad.”

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pluto-writes · 4 years

Text

Osamu Dazai x Reader| Fluff Alphabet

A/N: Happy birthday to everyone’s favorite bandage wasting detective! And! We got the bsd wan manga anime adaptation announced today!! I’m sorry if it’s lacking towards the end its late;;; and I cannot deal.

Reminder: The reader will always be gender neutral so everyone can read (◠‿◠✿) (oh and there’s like one mention of suicide, letter A)

Words: 2,200

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Dazai loves doing anything with you. If you’re by his side he won’t complain -that much- to Kunikida about working. He’ll take you to all types of different places, you guys will go to seasonal festivals, the movies and out to eat. On multiple occasions he’s even tried to get you to commit double suicide with him, and you had to tell him no every time.

“But (Y/N)-chan~ why not~!” He whined.

“Osamu, I am not going to commit double suicide with you, we’re in the middle of WcDonald’s.”

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He admires everything there is about you. He loves how accepting of him you are and when you found out about his past you understood that he was changing for the better. He thinks that if Odasaku were still alive you two would be great friends. He can’t help but smile at the thought of making his dear friend proud.

He absolutely believes your smile is the most beautiful thing in the world. Especially when he’s the one who made it happen. He’ll be as dramatic as possible whenever he catches you smiling.

“Ah~! Your smile is too bright!! I can feel it piercing into my soul and cleansing it!”

It never fails to make you flustered and he loves it.

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

His number one priority is making sure that you’re not only aware of your surroundings but that you know you’ll be safe with him. He always makes sure to carry something that you like with him so that he can use it to help ground you easier, whether that be your favorite candy or smell. His voice is also very calming, and he always manages to find the right words to calm your heart.

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He honestly didn’t think someone would find him worthy enough to date him, so just being with you in the present is a miracle enough, he doesn’t want to be too greedy, but if you’d allow it he’d like to spend his last seconds with you. He would always joke saying that he wants to see your face before he dies so he could die happily. You’d just laugh and tell him to knock it off, but he truly means it, if he at least is able to see your face before he goes.

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He’s the dominant one in the relationship, he’s always thinking about what the two of you can do and you mostly follow along. Because most of the time his antics are rather fun, and you can definitely expect to do something you’ve never done before with Dazai around.

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He doesn’t like staying mad at you for long, but he can hold a bit of a grudge at times depending on how deeply the fight impacted him. He’d never get physical with you, if he did he’d hate himself for putting his hands on you.

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s so very grateful to have you. He always makes sure that you know how much he loves you and everything you do for him. At first he didn’t think he deserved you, but you made sure to remind him how much you love him. He reminds you on a daily basis how thankful he is for your mere existence.

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

*Slaps car roof* This boy right here can fit so many secrets.

Of course he’d have secrets he doesn’t tell you. He doesn’t tell you anything major in case it could put your life at risk as well, Dazai is a wanted man and just being with him makes you a target as well. He doesn’t want to involve you in something due to his past mistakes so he makes sure he doesn’t tell you anything too private.

He will however tell you the stupidest secrets that he swears are very deep and embarrassing to him. He tells you enough that you feel like he’s telling you something important so that you don’t question that you don’t really know him.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Meeting you made him realize how much he’s really changed from his Port Mafia days. Since before he didn’t really feel like he was doing good enough no matter how hard he tried. He would do ‘good’ deeds but didn’t feel any connections with them, but you reassured him that you can tell how hard he’s trying to be better and that he should focus on the progress he’s made rebuilding himself.

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He tends to get jealous depending who’s talking to you. If it’s someone you both know, he doesn’t get jealous, he has faith in them that they won’t try to pull any funny moves on you. However, the same can’t be said about strangers, he doesn’t have trust in them cause why should he?

When he sees a stranger talking to you, a bunch of alarms goes through his head telling him to get you away from them. He gives into those feelings and comes to your ‘rescue’, you make sure to scold him later since most of the time they’re asking you for help but he doesn’t trust that.

He’d pout and say, “All men are wolves, (Y/N), I don’t want you to get hurt by them.”

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Yes, he’s usually a very good kisser. But you got the jump on him for your first kiss. As he was leaning in to kiss you, he pulled away and was about to tease you so that you’d have to earn it. But what he didn’t expect was for you to kiss him so boldly. When you pulled away he was stunned for a second, but just seeing that moment where he was caught off guard made it worth it, even though it left you a blushing mess afterwards.

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

It took him a while to get his feelings to reach you. Not because he didn’t want you, but because when he did proclaim his love for you, you dismissed him with a wave of your hand. You’ve seen him flirt with countless others, so what made you so different?

He was determined to let you know that his feelings for you were real, so he asked the agency members for their opinions on how he should ask you before settling on his decision.

The next time he asked you out, he wasn’t over dramatic, he didn’t have his usual flirty smile he wore, he was just him. He spoke directly from his heart and hoped you’d understand that he wasn’t leading you on and he meant every word. Thankfully, his feelings got to you and you were willing to give him a chance.

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Dazai would love to marry you, he wants to show how deep his love for you goes, and would go to great lengths to express how he feels towards you. He’d recreate the first date the two of you shared and would propose to you there.

Being married to Dazai is never boring. There’s always something exciting going on whenever Dazai is around. One time he made his specialty dish called, ‘peppy hot pot’, you don’t quite remember what happened after eating it but you vowed to never let Dazai cook again. So you left him do the cleaning while you cooked.

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

“You can be my Juliet!! And you can call me your Romeo!! Isn’t that romantic~!” Dazai’s eyes practically shined.

“Didn’t they end up dying in the end?”

“Yes! Their love caused them to go to such great lengths! And that’s what makes it so romantic! Don’t you think?”

“.....sure?”

“Great! By the way, my wonderful Juliet, I have a potion right here-”

“No.”

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s hard for others to tell when Dazai is in love since he’s known to be a flirt. At first it was hard to tell, but after a while others started to notice that he wasn’t flirting with anyone else while he was vying for your attention.

After his confession where he opened his heart up to you, he realized that to get his feelings across he has to be completely sincere. Though there would be times where he’d act overly dramatic to show his love for you, mostly because when he does that it embarrasses you and makes you show the cutest flustered face.

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He’s very open about his relationship with you where he knows it’s safe. He’s cautious while you guys are out since there can be prying eyes, but other than that in the agency he’s free to show his love for you on full display.

He’d kiss you and say it’s for ‘good luck’ or ‘if I don’t kiss you right now I’ll combust’. You’ll laugh and kiss him back anyway.

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He’s very good at smooth talking, and whenever he does that it instantly calms you down and makes you fall asleep.

It also helps when the two of you get in trouble due to an idea Dazai thought would be good. Like that one time you guys stayed overnight at a mall, or when he climbed into one of the animal cages at the zoo.

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

You can expect Dazai to shower you in love. Everything he does for you he thinks about how happy it’ll make you. He’ll do small things like ordering your favorite food when you’re too tired from the day to cook, or something big like filling up your room with your favorite flowers (if you’re allergic to flowers then he fills it with your favorite candy).

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He wants only the best for you, and he’ll do his best in having complete faith in your abilities and gives you the extra push you need. He’d offer that he can pull some strings for you, but you deny him saying that you want to earn it on your own accord, which only makes him smile since that’s what he wanted you to say so that you can achieve your goal.

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He loves doing new things with you, so you can expect him planning something fun and exciting with every date. It’s not because he’s bored with you, but because he wants to give you the most memorable dates, and the only way to do that is to do stuff that people wouldn’t normally do. He knows that the mundane life will take getting used to, but with you by his side makes it all worth it.

Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Dazai can read you most of the time, but there are times where you’re unpredictable and he lives for it.

Being empathetic doesn’t come naturally to him, but when it comes to you he would try his best in understanding your situation and would think of the best thing to say to you so that you understand that you’re not alone in whatever you’re going through.

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?

He values your relationship deeply, and he’d do whatever he can to keep it. However, if the choice ever came between your safety and your relationship, he’d prioritize your safety since as much as he loves you, he wants you to be safe no matter what and doesn’t want you to get hurt due to something out of his control.

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

You often help him change his bandages. When you first started dating he was wary about showing you how he looked under them so you never saw what he hid underneath. But when you had asked to help him, your voice was so gentle and comforting he couldn’t refuse you.

Once you saw the scars hidden under them, you didn’t react the way he thought you would. He thought you’d be repulsed by him, but you were too kind to do that, he knew that but the fear was still there, instead you kissed his scars and let him know how beautiful you thought he was, scars and all.

You even told him that his scars are proof he lived and survived, he’d never forget that, so whenever he sees his scar he’d smile fondly at that memory.

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He is very affectionate, he absolutely loves showering you in kisses and having you in his arms, where he knows you’re safe with him.

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He’d look back on all the photos he has of the two of you together instead of doing his work. Kunikida will scold him and tell Dazai to do his work, but instead of listening to him, he’ll put his headphones on and listen to recordings with your voice on it.

Just listening to your voice is enough to soothe his aching heart while he waits for your return.

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He would hold your life above his own, so he’ll often talk about what he’d do for you, but it was one of those rare days where your answer surprised him.

“(Y/N), I want to let you know that I love you so much, I’d die for you if the time ever came for that.”

“Oh, really? That’s strange since I’d want to live for you.” He blinked back in shock at how quickly you came up with your answer, and how genuine it was. After coming over the initial shock, he’d just smile back at you and give you a soft kiss on your forehead. You’re not sure what to think about his reaction but you can only hope he’ll feel the same way.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #osamu dazai x reader #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs headcanons #plutowrites #ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ please take this #tumblr played me so im posting this again;;#i dont know why??? my posts wont show up in the tags???#dazai osamu x reader #suicide tw

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