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myfemininedivine · 5 months

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Can you please tell us what ending you planned for Taste? Always wondered if stupid Eva would have come back in the last chapters and what else you planned. It's my favorite story of yours.

I’ll give a very very bad and horrible run down of the last few chaps I had. I deeply apologize for not finishing, but I’m sure you understand. Still, im so sorry to not finish something I started.

The run down for the rest of TASTE would've been this:

Basically, if we focusing on the main couple..... (not gonna explain the smut but just know ofc it woulda been there)

WE LOVE IN SEPTEMBER:

I wanted to focus on all the miscommunication/horrible commitment issues. Most of the focus is on Lexi’s past relationship (guy basically ghosts her, moves out without comment, had commitment issues, extremely similar to Fezco in some ways except he never quite gets attached to Lexi unless she had other ppl after her; was planning on this guy and Fezco meeting in this chapter — Fezco does not know that this guy is the infamous ex).

You get a glimpse into Fezco and Lexi as an actual pairing, not just sex partners. Lot more domestic. curtains are OPEN. Fezco asks about her past relationship and gets the full picture. He sleeps over at her place most nights. He wants her to know that he’s serious about her, so they redo their entire first meeting. Retrace their footsteps under diff context. They go on an actual date, not just some meet up at the same diner I featured them in. She does meet Ash; some faye interaction. We r finally seeing a revealed business fezco voice!!!! lexi is like oh that's fine af actually.

Fezco does meet up with Eva to completely cut the tie. He feels that the only string between them is the fact that she sort of changed his life — I believe that it would’ve been like this reveal: how he got his job? She was the connect!!! And so he feels obligated to be there for her. From what I remember???). Lexi finds this out through Rue.

So, she inevitably doesn't know how to confront him. It doesn't matter tho bc Fezco tells her the moment that they meet!!!!!!

Anyway!

Rue is still plowing through relationship issues. Lexi meets up with Jules and basically sees the effects of heartbreak and gets some bad after taste of it. Jules reveals that it's not that she doesn't love Rue, it's that she doesn't know if they're ready or if they'll ever be ready. She's struggling with trusting the future. This sucks to Lexi. She trusts Fezco, but she also trusted rue and Jules relationship as it was the only stable relationship she had ever been exposed to. If not them, why would it would for her? (and nothing works out for her fr so it's like.)

Core thing is that Lexi is not really sure if she’s capable of trusting someone. All she knows is that she loves him and love is a fleeting, futile thing that doesn't have reason. Without reason, she goes to Fezco's apartment that same night, totally withdrawn and troubled, and he opens the door, doesn't ask question, pulls her into bed with him. This is where he tells her that he sort of really likes her, and she says that sort of really likes him. At first she's content with just that, but then he says something like 'I sort of really more than like you' and all of these thoughts sort of float and die away somewhere between that.

WE BLEED IN OCTOBER:

Halloween party is held to take place as planned by Fezco and Lexi (trying their absolute hardest to rekindle Jules/Rue) annnnddd Fezco does invite Lexi’s ex without realizing !!! It goes batshit crazy!!!!! Rue and Jules do not interact, Fezco's lead to believe that they're rlly done with each other (plot twist tho as Jules and Rue do reconcile and get caught being steamy in another room!!!!! who woulda thought !!!!!).

Lexi sees her ex, gets into a splat where this man is just DYING to get back w her all of a sudden since he seen Lexi and Fezco being full adults in love and shit. The guy does ask if Fezco is her boyfriend, and she hesitates. Fezco overhears this, basically gets this guy out and the energy between him and lexi just BOOM EXPLODE. They go into a separate room, have bit of an argument because he's confused as to why she didn't call him her boyfriend; she says she doesn't know why she hesitated.

Then, he says, "I love you, do you love me?"

She says yes but she admits to not knowing how to fully allow herself to. This literally KILLS him. Fezco says he's not a science experiment for her to prick and play with, and she either wants him or doesn't. They either work or they don't.

Lexi doesn't respond.

Fezco's distraught but calmly decides to take a break with their relationship at the end of this chapter. He isn't angry, he just really wishes they'd met with different intentions/desires.

WE FEAR IN NOVEMBER

you know how the chapter starts with the month? I was thinking of just being like "November." and then having blank space like BITCHHH LFAOOOOO I thought I was so slick for thinking of starting the chap all ominious with the twilight shit (Bellas depressed era!!!!).

ANYWAY. November.

Set the scene. They don’t talk. It’s hard to do that shit when you’re always 1 degree away from the person and planning a very very very small wedding ceremony that's due in 3 weeks. And the worst part? He doesn’t ignore her. He looks her in the eye, pretends as though they never tore away from each other. like !!!! He has literally no animosity for her and she's so riddled with guilt that she doesn't know how to soothe the fact that they aren't together without being selfish, saying she wants him when she, herself, is pretty broken in some way. but she loves him. she knows it but it's hard to accept that 'this' (her) is all she has to offer. She wishes he’d ignore her. He wishes she had more decency to not ignore him.

Wedding ceremony happens. Lexi IS best girl as Fezco IS best man, and they do walk down the aisle together. very much tension!!!! He tells her that she's beautiful!!!!!!! and she tells him that she misses him, to no response from him as the have to go on and walk in front of everyone. a bit gloomy but Fezco does stay looking at Lexi, and they do have a lil dance moment later in the night.

While everyone is cooling at the lil wedding after party, Lexi confesses to Rue that she always wanted something like that, what she has with Jules. And Rue basically hints that Lexi does even if it incarnated differently. Gives her some pep talk. If Jules didn't confront Rue, they wouldn't have gotten back together vice versa on if Rue didn't ask Jules out, they would've never been together. The chances of finding someone is slim and fleeting, that's why you grip onto the ones that root something into you. Fezco (of course) leaves the party.

Lexi does show up at his apartment later that night. He opens the door, doesn't know what to say but Lexi says that she's not all together, being broken and all. Fezco says that he is too, so they're of the same thing. A beat and then she says I love you and you love me. Fezco nods, says every little piece.

This terrifies Lexi and, in conjunction, terrifies Fezco. but what's worse to her is not being with him. And, thank the lucky stars, as he says some shit like “well I guess we gonna be scared together huh?” And she brightens up and says that she's never been so happy to be scared.

WE TASTE IN DECEMBER:

More of an epilogue. A calm after all that stupid shit.

Lexi decides to renew her apartment lease as does Fezco. They upgrade them friendship bracelets!!!!! Ash got himself a girl, on the phone with Fezco as he's getting ready for a lil party.

Reveal that mans has apartment key privileges!! He's letting himself in her apt and calling out her name !!!!

New years party that will be held at Jules's/rue's place (woop woop), Lexi is late as always but it’s ok bc daddy Fezco is there to joke about her needing to wear heels so she can stop running from him!!!!!!!!!!! They go, separate for a bit at the party where she DOES refer to him as her boyfriend, as he does refer to her as his girlfriend; then come back to the couch where they originally met. Lexi sits first, Fezco finds her this time!!! He jokes about whether she’s still in the streets and she says some cheesy shit like yeah, waiting for you (and we scream TOUCHDOWN!!!!). Fezco and Lexi basically simmer in their seats, smiling and kissing and finally fully engulfed, entwined to the soul.

P.S. Guilty pleasures would've morph into a connection between both characters; more interpersonal things rather than materialistic/celebratory items.

Here’s some of the writing that sits all glum! Hope this explanation gives plenty of closure.

#this is a very large sort of shitty detailed post on a tumultuous sex crazed fic lol #it is nice to write a little after note about Fezco and Lexi. extremely nostalgic to me.#I’m not confident that I’ll ever come back to this fic #Sooooo that’s why this is so very long!!!! tried to give some nitty gritty.#I fear I’ll never obsess this hard #yes this fic probably would’ve tipped to 150-200k of prose and conversation yes im annoying like that!!#also I could be remembering wrong/ the details may be off but that’s just bc my actual outline was skinny Minnie and I was delusional!!

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not-goldy · 9 months

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Hey Goldy

Love your blog ♥️

About the recent Wlives from JK and how he is been so open and so honest with Army. He wants to talk to us. He wants to tell us things related to him and his life and whenever he does that this fandom becomes so weired. Why is everyone acting like they know JK better then JK himself? He literally said he is avoiding sensitive questions but he still choose to say "JeonJimin" Out loud. Korean or not everyone in this world knows if two names are put together its because people like them together and they ship them. Its not like JK is from some diff world. The whole bird app is full of people saying how bad it was for a fan to write JeonJimin in comments. And now the people of this fandom have become some saints overnight and are teaching people how to write comments and what to say and what not to say.

Where are these teachers and these saints when Tuktukkers make noise? - Oh they are nowhere to be found.

Everyone need to understand that it was JK who choose to say it out loud while he was avoiding sensitive questions or things to say. But he still choose to answer questions about Jimin and say his ship name outloud.

I am sorry Goldy i am all over the place but i wanted to rant so i came to u. I have so mych more to say but then it will look like an essay lol anywas i am waiting for your post about Wlives happened recently and what u think about where this all is going and why was JK so desperate that he begged Jimin for a Live together for literally almost 2 mins straight. He almost risked it all. That boy needs his Jiminshii..

Love you Goldy and Love your blog♥️ You are one of the reasons for me to stay in this fandom. Thank God there is someone who actually understands boys and is not afraid to express her thoughts. Reading ur blog makes me calm and gives my tired brain some good Jikook therapy. Thank You

They just tried to ride on the wave of chaos and vitriol to express thier bigotry, anti Jimin and anti jikook sentiments but none of that works on me I'm afraid. been in this for so long I see right through their bull and it don't phase me. Not at all. Lmho.

And I'm glad he said he ignores comments he finds sensitive because we've seen them do that time and again on their lives through their pained expressions when they come across comments that are so vile and so grotesque.

How many times have we seen the Fandom akekeke over him reading YOONMIN on live or Tae Kook and explaining to Tae that's their ship name as if he was hearing it for the first time?

Look at his face reading that. Sounds like he's in on the joke to me🤷🏾

It's okay if he calls other ship name but it's a problem when he calls his own ship name- what a bunch of losers these ppl are.

Then they want us to believe this man had no idea what the fuck he was reading on that screen as if his intelligence evaporates when ITS TIME FOR HIM TO READ Comments about his own ship. LIKE GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE

The most annoying part of it all is, sometimes these boys read ship names from comments deliberately for whatever reason. Sope do this, Jikook do this.

Some times they are happy to see fans show love to other members by asking of them in the comments especially when we all know those members are going through tough times. It's a two edged sword situation. Some times fans over do it sometimes it really show live and support and other times it's a cute way of bonding with them and having our own inside jokes and secrets etc- we just have to learn to READ THE ROOM AND NOT OVER DO IT YA KNOW.

I recall Jimin reading comments about Jungkook (this might have been at a time when Jungkook was being heavily censored as I theorized years ago) Jimin saying fans kept asking of Kook during his live pushed Hybe to produce Jungkook the next day on live which if I remember correctly was even on YouTube not weverse😆

The power play is real- not that they need it now because SOLO. But still. The fans, the platform form, the attention all of that gives them leverage and if you are going to tell him what do with his own platform then he might as well delete it like he deleted Instagram.

PEOPLE NEED TO STOP TELLING THESE MEN WHAT TO DO WITH THEIR LIVES AND HOW TO LIVE THEIR LIVES.

Respecting them is respecting their complexities as human beings as well and not always viewing them in two dimensional black and white way. They can enjoy the ships and the delulu and the inside jokes and mentioning other members during their lives and still be frustrated with it sometimes, overwhelmed, disrespected or annoyed with it because THEY ARE COMPLEX BEINGS.

Some times they are in a bad mood and are easily triggered, other times they just couldn't care less.

COMPLEX BEINGS.

Pretty you're alright. I'll read your essays anytime. And love you same

Now lemme push my Jimin agenda, you won't happen to be a Jm Stan would you cos I want you to listen to his letters live version at 0.41 and 0.55 whatever he's doing there has me in a trance😭😭😭😭😭😭

When I die sing it on my boat ride to purgatory 🤧

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zylian · 10 months

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Au where everytime Subz returns to his base (any base since he has multiple) from either building/mining/exploring there is always someone in there, never 2 ppl only ever 1 person. Fyi Subz lives alone and doesn’t tell ppl where he lives

——

Most frequent is Planet, always makes himself a cup of hot chocolate chilling somewhere in the base. When Subz returns as if he’s a record tape he asks why Subz took so long. Subz never understands how Planet never fails to ask that question but Subz had come to learn out of all his “visitors” Planet is probably the most tame one

Less frequent is Zam surprisingly and whenever Subz comes back to find him, Zam has already made himself comfortable. He’s super warm welcoming to Subz or ominously asks a vague question that Subz knows that he has to answer right or Zam will go off to start some war without giving him the full context.

Occasionally is Speptical, he is rarely awake to greet Subz, he has usually crashed on the couch but when he is awake he has an extremely interesting story to tell.

——

Subz has gotten used to these visitors but when it’s not any of these 3 he has no idea what to expect.

When Spoke is there, Subz immediately knows he needs to move soon, like a crow warning bad things are a foot. He usually is here to eat all of Subz’s snacks.

When Mapiccs there he either straight up doesn’t talk to him or needs his attention the entire time. Mapicc will absolutely tell the current drama he’s in to Subz for validation. Mapicc sleeps over every time, he even makes a little fort in Subz’s living room.

When Parrot shows up, Subz immediately tries to leave. He rather wait for him to leave because If Parrots in his home he either is extremely tired and just wants to crash or will drag Subz into some sketchy ethical stuff.

When Roshambo arrives, Subz is worried. This man does not say a word, usually just sitting on his couch mindlessly watching TV. Subz offers him snacks and water cause he can’t imagine what could of happened for Ro to show up in his base.

When Pangi shows up, Subz knows Pangi got mixed into something and usually waits for Pangi to open up. Pangi usually makes a garden somewhere in Subz’s base that Subz has to take care or else Pangk would get sad.

When Red arrives, Red is concerned. Telling Subz to take a break for his health right before asking to go on some wild idea he has. Red rarely comes by but is the most welcomed.

When Leo shows up, Subz knows something is wrong. Someone has crossed Leo’s path and from the story Leo is about to tell him, Subz has to hope it only involves losing a few items to aid him.

More ppl but summed up——

Clutch is polite, but eats his food.

Vortex somehow always has nothing when he’s there, he always needs an enderchest

Vitalasy forgets where Subz lives so he can never surprise him, he always has to ask

Terrain NEVER comes inside uninvited, he waits outside and is possibly the most polite guest ever

Bacon usually needs to trade information

Jaron just wants to look at the base

Poafa gets kicked out

Ashswag accidentally stumbles upon it always

Clown looks around and has a normal chat with him

Mid has TEA to spill from ppl who’ve annoyed her, a life update usually

Cube is very appreciative and helps around to unattended plants and such

Woogie cleans up immediately and makes Subz a proper meal, while asking about his life

Rekrap stumbles upon it but never overstays

Branzy is usually looking for something that Subz somehow never has

Minute is just shocked, he can’t help it and Subz asks him how long he’s been like this

Jumper runs away the second she sees that Subz is back. All Subz knows is she was watching TV

4C is very happy to be there, usually needs a place to crash and is happy to tell his side of the story.

#I love casual aus they just have a good vibe to me #zy au #random zy thought 💭

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musashi · 1 year

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1, 12, 30, 32, 42, 50 for the fic asks?

tysm!

What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

oooh thats hard and would depend on fandom too. maybe just chapter 1 of DTE? honestly i feel like DTE is me at my best i'd feel weird reccing anything else, but. its long x3

Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

nope! i've been the same forever.

Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

talked about this a little bit in a previous ask abt swallowtail :] but also, both my multichapters were WAY outside of my comfort zone. i did not think i had ONE complete multichapter in me, let alone TWO.

it just made me more cocky. i already genuinely believe i can do anything, but kicking so much ass at both of them really didn't help.

Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

one time i wrote a very short fic about franziska von karma snotting like a toddler all over her brother's fucking work desk while passionately denying that she was capable of catching a cold and @pictureswithboxes left me a review that said 'you made franziska von karma so gross in this fic' and i think to this day it's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. the fastest a comment has ever grown on me. idk how to explain this. idk how to explain why i loved it so much, its like

everyone compliments me on my tenderness. my caretaking. and its cool ig. but i don't think i'm good at writing that stuff, and it's not why i write sickfic. or like, it's not what i enjoy most about writing sickfic. my favourite part of writing sickfic is torture! obviously there has to be comfort or i dont enjoy the hurt, but i feel as though misery is what i write best. i am soooo good at writing low-level misery, itchy discomfort, little minute details. and i feel like most ppl focus on the other part. and im like, BUT DID YOU SEE THE MISERY?

and bailey's out here like yeah i saw it. if i was in that room w her i'd be spraying her with lysol. you made this hot lady a plague rat awesome job. one time this same mutual said something along the lines of "i wanna say i wanna eat this fic but i dont. its full of germs. im patting it gently, from far away, with gloves on, and disinfectant" ljsghsfhf

it's just nice to be seen for the craft i REALLY enjoy: giving hot girls messy headcolds. like yeah its cool that they get looked after. but did you see how disheveled i made them? <3

also just the complete lack of worry that i'd be offended by this comment, too. as i'm sure you all know i hate it when people are anxious/scared around me and try to butter me up with sweet/soft language. it makes me feel handled with kid gloves at best, and it makes me feel intimidating and scary at worst. having someone just boldly come into my comment box like "YOU MADE HER SO GROSS. THANK YOU" without a second thought about if i might find that phrasing indelicate, i was like oh my god please be my friend. i need to be friends with you or i'll die. speak my damn language some more i'm thriving. anyways this is now a bailey appreciation ask, sorry for party rocking.

not gonna answer 50 cause i dont do broad/nonspecific questions sghdfg

#wendy answers #Anonymous

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llycaons · 9 months

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ep21 (pt 1): jyl the mvp!

oh god oh fuck I forgot how emotional the last one ended. jyl pulling wwx inside to get a look at him and everyone's crying 🥺

😭😭😭

this is so funny. jc what are you so worried about? your brother hearing that you looked for him for 3 months? which you did? he's so silly and emotionally constipated. that is a totally normal thing to do for your family

I remember ppl being SO mad at jgy for saying the same thing to nhs in fatal journey before a Mandarin speaker had to step in and be like 'that's actually a normal thing to say to someone grieving, he wasn't being rude or inconsiderate' which. jgy is so gifted with social graces, of COURSE he'd say the appropriate thing at that time

this is so dramatic lmao. I know how you die old man and it's pretty embarrassing

ah the dramatic look over the shoulder bc he misses his boy best friend who HE pushed away wwx you mess

literally shut the fuck up sect leader yao you would be dead and powerless without the protection of the jiang clan you owe your life and your clan to this family be polite

wwx saying this is very 😮 but it immediately cutting to jc is ALSO 😮 and I don't think its intentional

oh my sect sect leader ouyang???!!

ofc the lans get put in rooms that have a name like that

wwx getting sick of everyone there and just getting up and leaving. politically not great but he lives his truth. I think along with missing lwj he just got sick of the old sect leaders congratulating him for torturing and murdering a man, and then hounding him about his sword

jc I am so fucking proud of you I could cry

the kicker is that jc is for once saying the RIGHT thing, compared to his usual sarcasm and aggression and sneers. but wwx is the one in these episodes who's not cooperating. he's being deliberately contrary, vague, and disobedient. he's not playing nice with jc or the other sect leaders. and I can tell why politics is the last thing on his mind given the fact that he just pulled himself out of three months of utter hell and he's still traumatized, but it doesn't help. his defense mechanism of joking and dismissal to cover his severe trauma and his massive secrets doesn't make him look very good either. it's so sad bc it's all he can do though!

also this is a grade A eyeroll from jc here. impressive

do not break my heart like that wei wuxian

*cues the observation that wwx is wearing his robes in the way that corpses being prepared for burial are dressed*

it is very annoying when fans create content where wwx is unwilling/unable to meditate when 1. how the fuck do you think he formed his core in the first place and 2. it's clearly an important part of his process as a demonic cultivator as well

jyl is being so supportive and compassionate about chenqing in a way that literally nobody else is. she compliments it! she compares it to her mother's most powerful tool!

I think the other translation is 'to give a full account'. I think chenqing's name is really neat, I love reading analysis for it

kill me. and wwx's face after she says this...

she's like the only person here who halfway knows how to approach someone with trauma. express your love and support and concern but don't push them. allow them to tell you on their terms, in their own time. don't make it the only thing you talk about. don't make them have to ask not to talk about it. lwj gets a little better at this but it takes like 20 years

and who else says this!!! who else thanks him!!!! im going to cry

jc and wwx both take a great deal of comfort and guidance from jyl in these scenes - she's level-headed, compassionate, affectionate, caring, and gives solid advice that her brothers can act on. and she stands up for wwx in ways that jc can't or won't. love her

literally shut the fuck up jzx I know how you die

see jc!!! this is what you SHOULD say to those assholes who won't leave you alone and who question your leadership! THAT'S what's called showing a united front!

on the other hand, given how things progress I don't doubt the jins would invent some pretext to attack the jiangs if jc didn't go along with them so it's not like simply saying this would have solved things. but man, this was a good deflection

#cql re-rewatch

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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 3 years

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perfect now - a close reading

only pure and true love for this one. it’s soft and sweet because the one he wrote it for is and needs cheesy uncool romcom soundtrack-worthy affirmations and it’s the most wonderful thing oh my the flurries

some album booklet art for your viewing pleasure

((just a warning for below: while the lyric analysis was kept fairly neutral and close to the words and their meaning, more and more parallels did ensure me larrying out by the time the analysis kicked off so if you’re not into that, you can skip this one!))

⟼ check out @bluewinnerangel ‘s magnificent post with all the parallels to 1d/h&l bc it’s exhaustive and was a source for mine <3 thank you again for your service <3 bc this song really is a fanpiece of every song that has been important to them throughout their career so far, whether they wrote it or not, and it’s honestly kinda impressive

SUMMARY

you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway

lyric breakdown ft. the many parallels, incl. little things, through the dark and wmyb

what this says about louis, his partner and the relationship he is in

never gonna dance again frenzy

identity

louis is a marvellous majestic sonofabitch basically <3

walls, track 10

～ little things “you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you’re perfect to me”

You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss

later lyric: “like a neon sign” - i see through you trying to hide away your insecurities

I wish that you could see my point of view As someone staring back at you

“you” is also staring at him, but perhaps is too insecure to realise how mutual the adoration is

i wish i could get you out of your own negative spiral and give you a look at yourself from my perspective

～ wmyb “everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you”

～ wmyb “right now i’m looking at you and i can’t believe you don’t know you’re beautiful”

～ little things “you never love yourself half as much as I love you, and you’ll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to. If I let you know, I’m here for you, maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you”

On Friday night when we’re all out I turn to you and you’re looking down And you don’t wanna dance I know you love to dance You never stop given half the chance

heavy echoes of kmm again, but the opposite: the “nightmare on the dance floor” doesn’t want to dance

when “you” is confident rlly not being subtle with who i think that is, they love to dance <-> tpwk “feeling good in my skin, i just keep on dancing”

“i know you love to dance” = i know what you love bc i love you

“given half the chance”

～ tpwk “giving/given second chances”

given a chance tattoo, making another appearance (see below for more tattoo meltdowns)

Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up

term of endearment <3

～ dlibyh

this album is full of encouragement to keep going and as much as it gives me life it ruins me

Don’t hide away, don’t ever change

“be happy, proud”

～ “just hold on”

“pick someone who’s supportive”

Keep your head up, love, keep your head up Don’t look away, don’t look away

don’t look away from me

～ through the dark “and I can see your head is held in shame”

Cause everybody’s looking at you now, my, oh my

they have the stage to themselves / new career paths they’re doing on their own

could also mean ppl they’re going out with are looking at them, which “you” interprets as sth negative, which makes them self-conscious, while they’re actually admiring them bc they steal the scene

～ wmyb “you’re turning heads when you walk through the door”

I guess some queens don’t need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still, somehow, you’re perfect now

“you” is royalty to louis, to put it simply

they don’t need something on their head to make it known to everyone else - they’re a queen and everyone knows it

gendered: female - also used in drag contexts - the only time L has used any gendered word to identify his partner on the entire album (more on this below)

～ steal my girl "she's been my queen since we were sixteen" can't believe i forgot this one thank you @mortalenemiestolovers for reminding me!!!

～ falling

～ through the dark “you tell me that your tears are here to stay”

You never do, but if you asked me to I’ll tell the truth lying next to you

“you” never asks for affirmations directly, but by saying shit like their pants are too tight make it clear enough to L that they do need to hear once in a while that it’s not true

Cause you’re the only one when it’s said and done You make me feel like being someone

Good to you even at your worst

～ always you

i love you so much you are a force of life to me, and even when you hate me i want more

～ drag me down “If I didn’t have you there would be nothing left, the shell of a man who could never be his best. If I didn’t have you, I’d never see the sun. You taught me how to be someone” (sung by louis first, harry second)

～ through the dark “even if you scream and shout, it’ll come back to you and I’ll be here for you

You steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed

reference to working on a stage - their natural presence wins everyone over - that charisma is never manufactured

Don’t you wanna dance? Just a little dance I’ll never stop given half the chance

L keeps encouraging them, will also not pass by any chance to dance with them

Every insecurity, like a neon sign, as bright as day If you knew what you were to me You would never try to hide away

“it’s hard to miss”

L sees through them trying to hide their insecurities, pretend to be strong

～ through the dark “but I know you were only hiding”

SYNTHESIS

Perfect Now is not a fan favorite and I am so not here for that discourse, so please do not pester me with negativity about this chocolate drop of a song.

As others have pointed out, the parallels with other songs written by Louis, Harry or for One Direction are extremely present. Especially Little Things is echoed loudly, but there’s so much more to be read, as you’ve seen. These are songs that are clearly near and dear to Louis, bc he wrote them or bc performing them was special, like with Little Things and What Makes You Beautiful. A lot of the same emotions come back in Louis’s writing, so much so that you can’t help but see the larger story behind it all. Throughout Walls you can hear him singing about not giving up and holding your head high despite hardships, and if you look back at his earlier writing, it’s always been there. Through the Dark is an early and striking example of this style of Louis song: you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway

basically through the dark’s chorus:

Oh, I will carry you over Fire and water for your love And I will hold you closer Hope your heart is strong enough When the night is coming down on you We will find a way Through the dark

It is very clear that Louis is faced with a partner - I can freely say it’s Harry now right? are the antis gone by now? i think so - that struggles with his body, with his identity, with how he wants to present himself vs how opinions on that might push him down and dampen his spirit. Louis, always the supportive boyfriend, then tries his best to make him see the light, while keeping that space for his sadness, his struggles, or their joint struggles. Accept the sadness but don’t lose your heart to it.

I’ve linked @bluewinnerangel ‘s post at the start of this post, but I need to stress how good it is once more as I also shamelessly insert a screenshot from it here bc it makes me feel a lot and summarizes perfectly just how deeply Perfect Now is woven into the history of their lives, relationship and especially “you”s/Harry’s personal struggle with their identity/body/confidence...

Because yes, i absolutely think these tattoos are being echoed in the song. “Never gonna dance again” as a lyric and then as a tattoo on Harry’s legs like shackles around his ankles represents the sensation of shame, of being stuck, bc of your desires, bc of your sexuality. Obviously we can never know why Harry got the tattoo, as in what experience pushed him to choose those lyrics or what exactly he recognizes in himself, but it’s safe to say it’s about the struggles of being queer and navigating relationships with that identity and with others.

Most importantly, the sense of shamelessly dancing, dancing like no one’s watching, dancing together with your lover, as a celebration of self, life, love, is the key here. Harry got that tattoo ages ago, at a time when he undoubtedly felt way more stuck. When he couldn’t dance freely the way he wanted to and with whom he wanted to. Perfect Now is a reminder to him, an encouragement to still dance if he wants to, no matter what people say or think. Significantly, then, Harry’s own Treat People With Kindness heavily features that same sentiment, but in an extremely positive light: i have found a place (in life and in myself) where i feel like i have given and was given second chances and now i dance bc i finally feel good in my skin.

Louis has obviously been there from the start, or at least from when or before Harry properly started experimenting with/questioning how he likes to present and how he identifies as. Before he ever dared to consider pulling on a pair of women’s skinny jeans, never mind a ball gown. Louis has seen him limit himself as well as being limited by others ofc and has always seemed to have been there, with a secure hand on Harry’s back, to encourage him. Even at a time when boys wearing nail polish or skirts was unthinkable. Just remember how much encouragement Harry needed when growing out his hair; Louis literally joined him. yes this might make me cry okay i need to stop bc i’m going off track and this is just becoming a larry breakdown while i was trying to hype up this beautiful song.

What I’m trying to say is: Louis has always seen all of Harry. He’s always had his back, no matter what. He’s loved every part of him. And now, on a completely gender neutral album, in the sweetest, softest song off of the entire thing, Louis puts in the word “queen”, and that is so very deliberate it makes me want to scream. It’s Louis confirming his love again and again while affirming the multitudes contained by Harry, including everything involving his gender journey. brb crying

It’s a raw Louis, an honest, sweet, kind, loving partner, and both of them are fucking lucky to have each other, and I also wish that all of us end up in a caring and wholesome relationship like that. I truly do.

#wow i thought this one was gonna be easier #i always do why do i think that???#every time i look closer into l's lyrics i see more depth #this is all just a perfect mushy mess so it's on brand for me #perfect now analysis #lyric analysis #my posts #parallels

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shoezuki · 3 years

Text

ok so like i been Thinkin a lot on that stream techno had today and i may be Thinkin Too Much cuz i was doing psychology while watching but im going to say Words Now

the entire idea and Plot of tommy going from only interacting/being manipulated by dream to only interacting with techno is a Lot. theres a lot here. and i am feasting like a fucking king on the potential of it and what this could all Mean

I think we’re building up the idea of how techno and dream differ and how they house both similarities and extreme differences in their ideals.

So if we considered how Tommy’s arcs have changed theres a very, VERY clear juxtaposition between the exile arc to.... raccoon arc? whatever the fuck is goin on

Tommy Was manipulated, isolated, and gaslit by dream. that was the only guy he really had interacted with and that was Intentional entirely. Its very obvious this will have and currently has an affect on tommy.

Now, he’s with technoblade. theres a lot of shit that can be read in this simply as considered right now. I feel we’re clearly supposed to at least somehow compare dream and technoblade because their positions are somewhat similar concerning how they are interacting with tommy.

Tommy can only really interact with techno, only techno really has the ability to see him (although ranboo, ghostbur, and phil could see him but theres obvious difficulties in their case), and how tommy regards technoblade is.... complicated. like how he regards dream at the moment.

but theres some really, really important and clear differences in this that i think will show a lot about techno’s character and what’s to come

first of all, there’s a question of why techno is seemingly ‘letting’ tommy live with him. No joke, i’ve discussed this a LOT in the technocord and it’s made me realize it from a different perspective since many of those people in there are from Before techno joined the smp.

so, there’s no clear ‘rational’ reason why techno would benefit from teaming with tommy. there’s some arguments that could be made; tommy’s position with people and especially tubbo, using tommy as a bargaining chip with dream, and something else i cant remember. but the technocord hardcore ppl feel tommy is a liability in the long term. techno doesn’t really have much to gain beyond a distraction. the idea of using tommy in order to convince him he’s getting the disks and then to destroy lmanberg is kinda.... its jus more trouble to techno. In fact, it wouldve been defendable for techno to kick him out; he stole his stuff, and we saw how he reacted to his cows being killed, his previous base being pillaged. You’d have thought techno wouldve been angrier.

but like. that aside. there’s little reason for techno to open up to tommy. and thats the point.

there’s no necessity on techno’s part. he doesnt need tommy. he could kick him out easily. but he won’t.

I imagine technoblade sees the trauma and hardship tommy went through and he sympathizes with him. Its been made clear that techno doesnt know the full extent of what happened, but he doesnt need to. he knows enough.

Now, back to the happenings of the last stream,

it wasnt plot heavy at all. (mostly because techno’s fuckign glasses are held together with SCOTCH TAPE the guy couldnt even fucking use ducttape i hate that) but there were a Few interesting things, including the Plot Stream a bit;

the ‘box’ techno made with the idea of hiding tommy from dream. (perhaps a joke but it still shows something i feel)

how he’s been giving tommy a Lot of stuff. he hasnt Genuinely been upset at his golden apples being taken; in fact, techno gave him more food in protest of him eating all the gapples instead of.... demanding them back

went mining in the nether with the intention of getting tommy better stuff

he replaced the log he accidentally stripped. extremely funny considering he got the wrong type of wood but he tried

expending more resources on tommy with invisibility potions so that he wasnt in danger of being seen

Repeatedly would assure tommy that dream Is Not His Friend.

at the idea of tommy being ‘banned’ from the nether and being attacked in lmanberg, techno laughed at the idea of him being ‘attacked’ and killed even when tommy worried that he’d die for the Last Time

implicated that techno WOULD defend him. and the idea of someone killing Either him or tommy was funny because of that

okay so slight comparison to dream; techno is instead GIVING tommy resources instead of blowing them up, he’s obviously intent on protecting him in some way, and he assures tommy that dream is No Good (rather than how dream was telling tommy no one cared about him)

But there’s one instance that was really, really important to me

the control room had a very bad impact on tommy. most likely a panic attack (the shaking, heavy breathing, scattered speech/thought is something i know so intimately lmao) and techno’s reaction to it was extremely interesting.

first, techno said he was ‘freaking out for no reason’ which could be a) techno is horrific at emotions and vulnerability lmao and b) to Him, it Is nothing. he has no clue what tommy had been through.

He repeatedly asked what was wrong. what had happened in that room. He pressed Slightly. but as soon as tommy said he didnt want to talk about that, techno instantly backed off and said its alright. specifically, he said:

“It’s fine, no one recovers in a day tommy. Healing is a long process, it’s fine.”

that shit hit me like a freight train. Mostly i didnt expect anything to come from this stream like that but FUCK LMAO.

The biggest thing is, i think technoblade is going to help tommy heal from the dream shit and get back on his feet.

but also, even though im not entirely sure i need to see more, tommy will get techno to be more caring. We know philza is the only one techno is really close to, and ghostbur as well. both of which either weren’t involved in betraying techno, or doesnt remember it. i see it pointed out that techno is going at tubbo and his government rather than dream, but i think it makes sense.

dream technically hasnt challenged techno’s ideals or what he wants; while tubbo stole from him, used him as a weapon, and reinstated a government despite everything techno was saying.

Tommy took part in betraying him, thats without a doubt. but tommy was also screwed over by the government in place. so techno empathizes with him. maybe they dont fully trust each other, but thats a work in progress. and it will progress to technoblade trusting tommy despite their past, and realizing that dream is in a position of power over Everyone.

tl:dr: tommy is going to heal with techno’s help and full come to terms with/realize what dream did to him, and techno is going to realize he CAN trust people and that dream has been the one pulling the strings all along

#mcyt #dream smp #technoblade #tommyinnit #long post #THIS IS A LOT OF WORDS I COULD TECHNICALLY SAY MORE BUT #i feel bad putting a MASSIVE wall of text on ppls dash lmoa #like. i could continue on with what their 'alliance' could mean from techno's perspective #because looking now it looks more like tommy is going to 'use' techno again. as a means of getting his discs back #although yeah it kinda is but i think that will change #i want it too #and i want techno to go towards being TRULY anarchist like cmon ur close buddy but not quite #hes got the 'screw the goverment let us people be our own ruling bodies of ourselves' which is right #but the idea of 'the powerful live above all' is NOT right. at all #like its the opposite #but technoblade acknowledges he wasnt really 'that anarchist' and has said in the past he doesnt have like. a specific idealogy #that he follows beyond 'an anarchist'#ok im stopping talking in the tags but technoblade please. please. become a real anarchist cmon

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fandom-eclectics · 3 years

Note

Hey Kat!! I have a request for you that I believe you might enjoy writing! May you please do Shinsou, (Character (s) of your choice & each separate) who they get hit by a quirk who turns them into a little toddler, and they’ve got the biggest crush on their female chubby/plus size classmate. She is stuck with babysitting the toddler versions of the guys since they automatically wanted to be with their crush and they personally felt safe and overall wanted to be with her, and maybe they are in the age the toddler version of the guys’ quirks began to appear? And also what their reactions would be when they transform back, and they reminisce what their toddlers selves acted towards their crush? It’s a cute idea that came into my mind and I thought you would enjoy writing it however you feel the most comfortable💞 Muchas Gracias💗💗

Tysm for the request!! I love love LOVE the idea, definitely a genius one! I hate that I won’t be able to do it to full justice, I don’t write or at least I try my best to stay away from specific body types. I just don’t feel comfortable writing about that stuff. I really don’t mean it in a rude way, I just don’t want to mess anything up or write something to wrong way and offend someone. I still wrote the request though, just unfortunately nothing specified. Also, I only did Shinsou, cause this surprisingly took me longer than expected. Yk what just cue the constant apologies for not doing this right 😅. Sorry this took so long btw. Have a wonderful day/night, ily dear 💞

|| 𝕋𝕠𝕕𝕕𝕝𝕖𝕣𝕤 ||

Characters: Shinsou

Status: Not Proofread

Reader: Nothing specified

Type: Headcannons // Fluff

Warnings: kids? Idk, some ppl hate kids with a burning passion if you are one of those ppl then….be warned.

A/n: I really hope this doesn’t suck. I’ve been around tons of toddlers all throughout my life and they all seemed to have different personalities and annoyance levels so I tried my best to make them each different. Also, I wrote this at like 3 a.m. so if it makes no sense complete apologies.

✎ Shinsou

You had been crushing on Shinsou for awhile now

But of course you hadn’t confessed your feelings yet because

1. Everything about that scenario was scary…and

2. You genuinely didn’t want to ruin the great friendship that you two had

Even though everyone around you insisted that you where just oblivious and that you could totally see that he liked you

“Y/n, do you not notice him staring in class.”

“Y/n, you are literally the only person he’ll talk to in the mornings.”

“Y/n, he shared his coffee with you the other day, HIS COFFEE, he never does that.”

These where all things Mina and Jirou had pointed out to you

Though, you where still doubtful about telling him

You guys had so much fun bashing the idea of a healthy sleep schedule and sharing coffee

What if when you told him how you felt that all went away?

Of course, you didn’t have time to deal with all those feelings and thoughts because of training and the recent increase in villain attacks

You never would have dreamed, that one day, whilst you were sitting in your dorm room, taking a most needed break, that you were going to get a phone call.

It was from Aizawa, explaining that Shinsou, someone who he had seen you where very close with, had been hit by a villain and turned into a 3 year old

He practically was begging you (or at least, as much as straight faced Aizawa could) to take the kid.

So, you went over to Aieawa’s office, and picked up your crush, but in toddler form.

The first thing Shinsou asks you is “do you have any of that brown stuff Eraserhead was drinking? It was good!”

You quickly tell him that you do not have any, because a caffeinated todler is the last things you need.

However, this was followed up with a series of more questions.

“Why? Can we go get some? What’s it called? Where do you get-“

“Because it’s an adult drink. No, we can’t get any. It’s called coffee, and you can get it almost anywhere.” You answered all his previous questions before he had time to answer more

You decided to head back to your dorm and watch tv, kids liked tv, right?

Unfortunately, since Shinsou was caffeinated AND for some reason extremely energetic? You couldn’t let him out of your sight

You had called Mina up to your dorm room after awhile of watching Eraserhead videos.

Because that seemed to be the only thing that kept Shinsou from asking yo questions about your whole life story

You swore, he wanted to know Every. Little. Last. Thing. About. You.

You couldn’t figure out why though. You weren’t cool or interesting…..you were just….you!

So why would this little three year old wanna know everything?

You had been drinking a lot of water that day, doing your best to stay somewhat on the training diet All Might had given you all this week.

Therefore, it wasn’t long until you had to pee.

“Mina’s just going to stay with you for five minutes, I have to use the restroom.” You reassured him.

He had instantly curled up closer to you and insisted that you stay right beside him.

“Noooo, you can’t goooo, your gonna miss the best part of the video. What am I gonna do without the cool and awesome Y/n?” He whined, giving you the biggest puppy dog eyes.

Needless to say, you just had to hold your pee, and drink nothing else for the rest of the afternoon.

Shinsou, eventually and thankfully, grew tired and started to fall asleep on you

You changed the Eraserhead videos to your favorite tv show since you thought he was asleep

But you where wrong, because he was still awake brought to say one thing

“I really like you y/n.”

The words that came out of the small toddler’s mouth made your heart warm

Of course, you figured it was 1. Because he wasn’t in the right mindset since he was hit with the quirk

And 2. Because he was extremely tired

He fell asleep shortly afterwards, and you kept your tv show on

Watching intently at the screen

Though, you son felt your eyes grow heavy and tired

So you convinced yourself if you just closed them for two seconds, and layer your head back just a tad you would feel completely fine

You did such things and to your later dismay, ended up falling asleep

My word, you wished you would have seen Mina’s face when she came into your dorm to pick you up for Saturday morning breakfast

And she found you, and your purple hair friend/crush, affects of the quirk gone, back to his normal age, asleep on the couch, snuggled up next to you.

She was flipping out! This was absolutely adorable!!

She tried to keep her calm, but ended up waking you with a bunch of intense wikis peeing

“Y/n, Y/N, WAKE UP.” She sort of whisper yelled into your ear.

You quickly jerked your head up, careful not to move the rest of yourself in case small Shinsou was still sleeping.

“Mina, geez, how did you….you know what it doesn’t matter. What’s up?” You asked, your voice still groggy from sleep

“Not important! Do you see who’s asleep next to you!” She pointed out, somehow still whispering yet sneaking in a squeal?

You looked down and saw your friend, Hitoshi Shinsou, all back to normal, completely snuggled against you, fast asleep.

Internally you where freaking out, externally……well you where freaking out but just quietly.

“What am I gonna do Mina? This is gonna be so awkward when he wakes up!” You exclaim, not controlling your volume.

“Y/n? Why are you yelling? It’s 8:00, it’s too early.” You heard a tired Shinsou say,slowly sitting up and breaking the physical contact you two had.

“Oh my gosh, I’m no sorry, I uhm, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” You apologized quickly, becoming even more embarrassed

“It’s okay, waking up to the sound of your voice wasn’t such a bad thing. I mean, well, I don’t mean, I just, you know-“ Shinsou’s rambling was cut off by Mina practically yelling

“Will you two just DATE EACHOTHER already!”

You and Shinsou both looked at each other, looked at Mina, then both said, at the exact same time

“I would but he doesn’t like me.”

“I would but they don’t like me.”

Then you both turn back to each other and immediately start blushing

Turns out even when Shinsou was turned into a five year old he was right

He actually liked you

And…..wanted to date you?

W o w

You are so loved! <3

You are beautiful! :)

Have a wonderful day/night!

#bnha hcs #bnha headcanons #bnha shinso hitoshi #shinsou headcanons #shinsou hitoshi #mha hcs #mha headcanons #shinsou hcs #shinso hcs #shinso x reader #shinsou x you #shinsou x y/n #shinsou fluff

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reidgraygubler · 3 years

Text

last christmas (spencer reid/reader)

Title: Last Christmas

Requested: no

Couple: spencer reid/gen-neutral!reader

Category: mostly fluff, but some angst

Content Warning: cheating, swearing, christmas (tagging bc i know some ppl don’t celebrate and could be a trigger), pregnancy, engagements, verbal arguments, kissing/making out, swearing, post prison/post series (minor spoilers, but idk)

Word Count: 7,864

Summary: last christmas: reader gets proposed to on christmas night. The very next day, they find out their fiance is cheating on them. So they go spend the night with their best friend, Spencer Reid. this year: Reader gets proposed to by someone special.

A/N: being forced to listen to christmas music for 3-6 hours at work can really do something to someone. And that’s either murder or writing a cute one-shot… so I went with the latter… bc that’s so much easier than murder. and, this was hardly edited.... sorry for any grammatical errors... Anyways, happy holidays, thank you all for the love and support! Check out my masterlist! {***}{***}{***}

Last Christmas:

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, as the song would say. The lights on the trees and houses around were beautiful. The downtown was always decked out with bizarre lights and statues, as well as people in full 18th-century garb. Loved ones gathering to celebrate the holidays with their friends and family.

I didn’t know anyone who loved Christmas more than myself. Everyone who knew me, knew that Christmas was my favorite holiday. I tried my hardest to live my best stereotypical Christmas movie life. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend hated it… So, I guess it’s a good thing that all my friends and co-workers loved it.

“I don’t exactly understand why we have to go to this party,” Jasper looked down at me with a mild annoyance. I smiled before knocking firm on the door. A quick glance at him told him to be quiet.

“We went to your work party, so it’s only fair we go to mine,” I looked back at the door. A moment later, the door flew open and there stood David Rossi with his wife, Krystall, beside him. “David, Krystall,” I smiled as I pulled my hand from Jasper to hug the couple. “Merry Christmas,” I hummed happily once we parted. I turned to Jasper and took the bottle of wine to give to them.

“And to you. Please, come in. Reid, Penelope, and Emily are all here.” David graciously took the wine from me and invited us in. I grasped Jasper’s hand once again and pulled him inside.

“Do you need help with anything?” I looked towards David as I took my jacket off. Krystall took it and brought it to a spare room, where I would assume all the other jackets were kept.

“We’re almost done. Just get yourself a drink and relax,” he smiled and hugged me one last time. I looked up at Jasper and led him to the living room where Spencer, Penelope, and Emily were. I only knew they were there because I could hear their laughter and lively conversations.

“C’mon, we don’t have to stay for too long,” I looked up at him with a smile. He nodded before pecking my lips, “I promise,” I smiled as I stared at him.

“Yeah, okay,” he nodded as he glanced at my friends, “I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick, I’ll be right back,” he whispered before pressing a kiss to my lips. I smiled and watched as he walked away. Once he was around the corner, I walked over to the living room.

“Hey you,” Emily looked up at me as I sat next to Spencer, “How are you?” she smiled. I looked at Spencer and smiled.

“I’m good. Jasper’s nieces and nephews woke us up at like 5 in the morning… And we were up late wrapping their presents,” I laughed and shook my head, “But it was exciting watching them rip through everything,” I added and nodded.

“Sounds Henry and Michael,” Spencer dryly laughed as he looked over at me.

“Or was it because they got to see their Uncle Spencer?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Spencer looked away from me and smiled, a small blush rising on his cheeks. “I’d get that excited too if I saw you first thing in the morning,” I smiled.

“Could you be any cuter, I swear,” Penelope looked between Spencer and I. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

“And on that note, I’m going to the bathroom real quick,” Spencer looked at me before standing up.

“Oh, Jasper’s in there right now, so it could be a minute,” I looked up at him as he started to walk away. “Or you could find one of the other many bathrooms Rossi has,” I smiled at him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Spencer waved me off before he walked away. I watched as he walked around the corner, leaving it to be just me, Emily, and Penelope.

“How was your guys’ morning?” I looked back at them with a smile. Emily looked at Penelope before looking at me. The smile she wore made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

“It was good. It was pretty lazy. Just Andrew and I,” Emily nodded before taking a sip of her wine. I nodded and watched her sip. “He said he’d be joining us, but he’ll be a little late,” she added once she put her glass down.

“Oh good! I’d love to see good ole Mendoza,” I laughed. Emily looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “What? Andrew is a great guy,” I shrugged.

“Well, I had a great Christmas! I got to see my Chocolate Thunder and his spawn and Queen,” Penelope cut in before either of us could further a comment.

“How is Morgan? I wish I got to see him more,” I frowned as I looked over at Penelope. Jasper stepped back in, and Spencer was right in tow. Spencer returned to his seat beside me and Jasper on the other side. There was a certain tension in the room now that those two stepped in. I knew those two always butted heads, but they tried to get along for me. But at the same time, I hated when they were around each other. There was always something for them to fight about. And, most of the time it was nothing.

“Uh, well,” Penelope started after a moment of very awkward silence. I looked at her and swallowed the lump in my throat. “Derek’s great! Hank’s great! I swear I could just eat him up,” her voice was high pitched as she lifted her hands like she was pinching an imaginary person’s cheeks.

“Derek or Hank?” Emily looked at Penelope with a raised eyebrow. I wanted to listen into the conversation. But it was so hard when I had two bags of testosterone sitting beside me.

“Are you okay,” I looked over at Jasper and whispered. He tensed as I grasped his hand. He looked at me and smiled lightly.

“Yeah, yeah, work called,” he nodded and looked down at me. I furrowed my eyebrows before pouting. I furrowed my eyebrows before pouting. I could hear Spencer’s scowl from behind me. I wanted to turn back and tell him off, but I refrained.

“But it’s Christmas,” I whispered.

“Don’t worry. It was an easy fix, over the phone,” he smiled before pecking my lips.

After several minutes of banter with everyone, Jennifer and Will, Matt and Kristy, and Luke arrived, all with various bags or boxes. I instantly got up to help someone or everyone, or anyone who wanted my help (and that happened to be Luke).

“Merry Christmas,” Jennifer smiled as she embraced me. I squeezed her tight before muttering the words back to her. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow, a little bit of concern in her eyes. “Did you have a good day,”

“Of course I did,” I smiled as I looked at her. I sighed deeply before looking over my shoulder at Spencer and Jasper. They were talking to each other and I honestly couldn’t tell if the conversation was a good conversation or not. I was just worried that Jasper and I would be leaving early and having an argument on the way home.

“Your boys fighting?” Jennifer asked as she followed my gaze to the two men.

“Honestly, with those two? I never know. I just wish for Christmas they wouldn’t fight,” I rolled my eyes. Jennifer laughed lightly as she looked back at me.

“I’m sure they’ll get along, someday,” she reassured. I looked back at her, dropping my shoulders. “And, for now, don’t worry about it,” she hummed once she saw my disappointment.

“Anyways, Penelope saw Chocolate Thunder for Christmas,” I looked over at Penelope and smiled. She looked back at me with a childlike excitement once I talked about her forbidden love.

“Oh? Really? I would love to hear more about that trip,” Jennifer looked over at the people sitting in the living room. I smiled as I watched Penelope recount her trip to the others.

“Wine,” David appeared beside me with a glass of wine. I smiled before graciously taking it from him.

{***}{***}{***}

I was happy to see that Jasper seemed to join in on the conversations with everyone, instead of sitting and wallowing in whatever emotion he was in. But I knew something was going on, because I could feel a certain annoyance or nervousness coming from him. Being on a team with a bunch of FBI profilers really helps to tell when something is wrong.

I smiled at Spencer and Jennifer before silently excusing myself to sit beside Jasper. Even though I couldn’t see him, I could feel Spencer’s eyes watching me. No matter what the situation was, he was always protective of me. He was my best friend, so I shouldn’t be too worried. He was more protective over me when it came to Jasper, too. He hated Jasper.

“Is everything okay,” I asked as I sat beside him on the couch. He turned to face me more and grasped both my hands. A certain worry was in his eye, which made me worry. “Is everything okay,” I looked at him, trying to push away all my anxieties.

“I just wasn’t sure if I would get the chance to ask you a question,” his voice was low. I furrowed my eyebrows as he pulled his hands from mine. I watched as he stood up in front of me. He cleared his throat, getting the attention of everyone else in the room. The room went silent as everyone turned to look at Jasper and I (but mostly Jasper). “Can I have everyone’s attention for just a moment,” he spoked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Once he was certain he had the floor and everyone’s attention, more specifically mine, he looked back at me. He had a certain gleam in his eye that made me feel happy, and the exact opposite of nervous and worried.

“You’re the only person I’ve ever loved. There is no one I would rather spend my entire life with than you,” his words were smooth like butter and he was as relaxed as ever. He slowly lowered to the ground, kneeling on one knee. I brought my hands to my lips as I gasped. The girls around me were instantly squealing from excitement and the guys were stunned into silence. Spencer just glared from his seat across the room. “Will you marry me?” Jasper asked as he pulled his hand from his pocket. A black velvet box was in his hands, and inside was a diamond ring. I widened my eyes and felt the breath escape my lungs.

The room fell silent with his proposal. Everyone’s eyes fell on us, and I could feel the cold and mildly judgemental stare from Spencer. Of course, I wanted to say yes. I loved Jasper. And, no one could make me feel otherwise.

“Of course I’ll marry you, you fool,” I smiled at him as slid to the edge of the couch. A series of applause came from everyone as Jasper slid the ring on my finger. I rested my hands on his cheeks before pulling him into a kiss.

“Well, I think it’s time to pop open a bottle of champagne,” David spoke in a cheery tone before standing. I looked up at him with a smile and watched as he walked towards the kitchen. I looked back at Jasper before kissing him once again.

“I’m going to see if he needs any help,” Spencer spoke cooly before leaving. I looked at him, watching as he left. I looked over at Jennifer with a raised eyebrow, silently asking her to go see what’s wrong. She nodded before chasing after Spencer.

{***}{***}{***}

“Again, congratulations,” Krystall smiled as she hugged me. I returned the hug. As I pulled away, she grasped my hand. “Merry Christmas,” she looked up at me. I smiled before turning to David.

“Thank you guys so much. I’ll see you on Monday,” I looked at the couple again before turning to leave. Jasper had already gone out to the care to start it, seeing as it was very cold out.

“I’ll walk you out,” Spencer spoke up from behind David and Krystall. I looked past the couple at Spencer. He was already wearing his jacket and scarf. He wanted to leave the second Jasper proposed.

“Yeah, of course,” I smiled and nodded. Spencer gave his pardons to David and Krystall before we finally stepped outside.

“Did you have a good Christmas, Spence,” I looked up at him as we walked down the sidewalk. He kept his eyes low on the ground as we walked, and the silence he gave me was nearly deafening. I glanced at him, half worried because he’s never ever this quiet. Even when a sour police officer was getting annoyed or fed up with him, he wouldn’t even shut up.

“Yeah, yeah, spent it with my mom and JJ’s family,” he nodded as he kept his eyes low. I smiled and nodded. “What about you,” he finally looked over at me.

“Yeah, yep… Spent it with Jasper and his family and friends,” I nodded as I shoved my hands into my pocket.

“Not yours?” Spencer stopped walking. He grabbed my wrist, causing me to stop. I turned around and looked up at him. “I mean, it’s not very fair that he forced you to spend the holidays with his friends and family, and he looked like he wanted to jump off a bridge the whole time you were here… And you weren’t even here that long,”

“Spencer!” I looked up at him as I exclaimed. I stared at him with wide eyes. “What the hell is going on with you?” I dropped my shoulders as I looked at him.

“I’m just speaking the truth,” Spencer shrugged before he put his hands in his pockets. I shook my head and let out a laugh of disbelief.

“I gotta go,” I shook my head before turning to leave. I could hear Spencer muttering something to himself as I turned, and I just knew he had more to say.

“He doesn’t even love you!” Spencer shouted as I walked towards the car. I froze, staring at the window and Jasper sitting inside. I’m sure he could hear my argument with my best friend. My heart was in my throat and I could feel myself starting to get sick. My head started to get a little woozy. “I’ve seen the way he’s looked at you and talked to you! And, he doesn’t…”

“Spencer,” I turned around to look at him, feeling the irritation growing in my head and my heart. He was looking at me, face filled with fury. The expression on his face told me he was telling the truth, but also Spencer would never lie to me.

His eyes grew watery as he stared at me, and I knew the next thing he would say would probably break my heart. He was already telling the truth, a truth that I didn’t want to believe.

“Please don’t marry him,” his voice lowered as he spoke. And I swear I heard it crack. I swallowed roughly as I looked at him. “He was constantly talking to someone tonight, texting someone. I heard him on the phone with someone when I left the bathroom, and I know it wasn’t work,”

“Stop,” I looked at him, trying to get him to stop talking before he said anything more that would embarrass the both of us. “Goodnight, Spencer. I’ll see you Monday,” I nodded at him before slipping into the car.

“Ready?” Jasper asked, looking over at me as he grasped my hand. I looked over at him with a smile before nodding.

“Yeah,” I whispered before looking back out the window at Spencer. He was still standing on the sidewalk, staring at me. He wore a very hurt expression on his face, and I swear a tear was rolling down his cheek. And before anything could happen, Jasper started the car and pulled away from David’s house and my best friend.

{***}{***}{***}

“Have a nice day,” I looked up at Jasper as he slipped from the bed. He pressed his lips to my forehead, wishing me a good day, before leaving to get ready for the day. I was only asleep for a few minutes before my alarm went off, forcing me to get out of bed and get on with my day. And, although I still had a few more days left of no work, I still had my plate full of errands and chores.

Once my day finally started, I made way towards the dry cleaners. I had to pick up a couple of my blouses and a few slacks. Work had wrinkled and nearly ruined a few of my clothes, and the only place that could fix them was the dry cleaners. After the dry cleaners, I had to get a few groceries, seeing as all we had was some leftovers from Jasper’s parents’ place.

My phone started ringing, almost shocking me because I wasn’t expecting anyone to call me today. But I was more relieved when I saw that it was Jennifer calling.

“Hey, have you talked to Spence?” Jennifer asked as I pressed my phone between my head and shoulder. I furrowed my eyebrows as I readjusted the grip on the bags in hand.

“No, not since last night. We kind of had an argument before I left,” I muttered as I grabbed my phone. The memories of the argument with Spencer came back, and I tried my hardest not to recount them. I looked up at the sidewalk and people ahead of me and saw Jasper. He wasn’t alone though. Another woman was in his arms.

“Are you even listening to me?” Jennifer spoke, her tone mildly annoyed that I wasn’t answering any of her questions or acknowledging anything she was saying.

“I’m… I gotta go. I’m sorry,” I muttered before hanging up and shoving my phone in my pocket. I looked at Jasper and the woman and watched as he deeply kissed her.

I took a deep shaky breath before rushing back to my car. I didn’t even care about my fresh dry cleaning as I shoved it into the back. Tears were slowly rolling down my cheeks, and I wasn’t sure if there was a way I could stop them.

Not wanting to go home, the place that I would be reminded of him, I drove around, trying to figure where to go. Until I found myself standing outside Spencer’s apartment. I wasn’t exactly sure if I had knocked until the door swung open and Spencer was standing in front of me.

“Wh-what are you-Wait, is everything okay?” he asked, reaching a hand out to grasp my arm. I swallowed roughly and allowed him to hold my arm, and then my hand.

"I'm sorry… I didn't know where else to go. I didn’t want to go home because he’s there. And I just didn’t want to be around him,” I looked at Spencer with moisture in my eyes. He looked back at me with confusion settling on his face as he stared.

“What… What happened? What’s wrong?” He asked as he stepped out of his apartment and rested his hands on my shoulders. I looked up at him before allowing myself to fully break down. Spencer widened his eyes before pulling me into a hug. I pressed my face into his chest and sobbed.

“He cheated on me!” I exclaimed after a moment of crying. Spencer backed away from me to get a better look at me. “I was out doing errands… And I saw him…” I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes. Spencer looked at me as he slowly realized what I had said. I could tell he didn’t really know what to do, so he just hugged me again before pulling me inside.

“Sit, I’ll get you… I’ll get you tea. You like tea.” Spencer looked at me as he sat me on the couch. I looked up at him before wiping my cheeks. “Yeah, I’ll make you tea,” he nodded before leaving me alone in the living room. I looked towards the direction of his kitchen, listening to the clatter he was making. I could hear him talking to himself, saying stuff about Jasper, and me, and work, and the party last night, and our argument last night. I definitely shouldn’t be hearing him saying these things. It was an obvious thing that should be said to me another time.

“Can I stay here for the night?” I looked up at Spencer as he reentered the living room with a mug of hot water and teabag. He looked at me as he sat beside me. I graciously took the mug from him and put the teabag in it.

“Of course. You didn’t even have to ask,” Spencer looked at me as he grabbed a throw blanket. I sighed deeply as he placed it over my shoulders. “You can stay for as long as you need,” he looked at me as he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Thanks, Spence,” I looked down at the tea and shrugged, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. All my stuff is over there.” I wiped my eyes again. Tears just wouldn’t stop rolling down my cheeks, I was starting to feel a little ridiculous.

“Luke, Matt, and I will go over and bring it here. And you can stay for as long as you want," he insisted. I swallowed roughly before wiping my eyes. I looked up at him, trying to smile but it was rather unconvincing for the both of us. “You know that my place is your place,” he added and returned a genuine smile. His smile made me feel a little bit better and turned my unconvincing smile into something more convincing.

“Thank you, Spencer,” I whispered as I looked down at the cup of tea. The steam coming off it was rather soothing. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it! God. I’m so stupid! I’m sorry I didn’t believe you,” I looked at him, my statement sounding stupid.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he whispered a hand and wiped my cheeks. I could sense that he wanted to say more, because he always as more to say, especially when it’s about proving someone wrong. So, when he stopped at ‘It’s okay’ I was a little confused. “You didn’t want to believe something that should be false. I understand that,” he folded his hands in his lap.

“I just don’t know what I’m going to do,” I looked down at the engagement ring on my finger. I wrinkled my nose before taking it off and chucking it at the coffee table. The ring dinged as it bounced on the hard surface. I muttered a few profanities as I stared at the ring. Spencer looked at me with a raised brow. “I guess that means you’re getting what you wanted… I’m not going to marry him,” I dryly laughed as I looked up at him.

“I didn’t want it like that,” Spencer whispered as he looked back at me. I looked up at him and frowned. “I was being selfish,” he whispered, mostly to himself. I raised an eyebrow before looking down at the ring.

“You’re allowed to be selfish, Spencer,” I mumbled before looking back at him.

“You’re right. But I want to be selfish for the right reasons,” he looked back at me. I swallowed roughly and shook my head. “He doesn't deserve you. And you don't deserve to have your heart broken by some guy,” Spencer muttered. I raised an eyebrow. “We don’t have to talk about it now, though, when you’re ready,” he assured.

I didn’t really want to press why he wanted to wait till I was ready. I was honestly always ready to talk to him, no matter what it was. So, I guess we’ll have to wait till he was good and ready. Even if that meant a very long time.

{***}{***}{***}

New Year’s Eve:

New Year’s Eve was especially difficult. Usually, I love it, just like Christmas. But this time… This time was different. I supposed being cheated on during such a big holiday can do that to you. My spirit for any exciting holiday was simply diminished and gone now.

So, that’s why I was sitting at the kitchen counter in Rossi’s house with my third glass of wine. I was really trying not to wallow in self-pity. But it was so easy when my excitement for the new year was just… gone. The others seemed okay with my sadness. Although, Spencer was the most concerned than anyone else. Everyone was off in the living room, laughing in their conversations. I just wanted to be alone for a moment.

“Hey,” Spencer looked at me as he sat beside me at the counter. I looked up from my drink and at him. A lazy and drunk smile grew on my lips as I looked at him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m doing great, Spence,” I looked at him as I stood up. He raised an eyebrow as I stumbled a bit. He grasped my arm to steady me a bit. “I’m gonna go outside. I need some fresh air. You stay here,” I patted his chest before leaving.

Spencer allowed me to go outside alone, I was half expecting him to follow me. So, I was happy when I took a seat outside. The air was a little bit chilly and nippy, which was mildly sobering. I kinda wished I had another drink with me.

I heard the back door open and then slam shut, causing me to turn around and look. Spencer was walking towards me with a blanket over his arm. It was only a few minutes since I came out here, he can’t have missed me that much.

“Here, it’s cold,” he offered me the blanket as he sat on the other outdoor chair. I took it and wrapped it around my shoulders like a cape. We sat in an uncomfortable, unnerving silence. I just wished he would say something so we wouldn’t be in the quiet.

“I just needed a few minutes alone. Everyone inside is just a little bit too loud for me,” I shrugged as I looked at the space between us. Spencer’s hum was unconvincing, but I’m sure my excuse was just as unconvincing too. “They’re too happy and I’m, well, not,” I looked up at him.

“I understand,” Spencer nodded, like he knew how I felt. I stared at him, only a little bit annoyed that he said that he understood. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Spencer, I’ve been living with you for the last week, you already know how I feel,” I looked up at him. The previous few nights I was up most of the night sobbing, mostly because I was heartbroken. It was bad and a little embarrassing because Spencer was the one who took care of me. “Thank you, for that… I do appreciate it,”

“You’re my best friend,” he whispered as he looked at me. A friendly smile grew on his lips as our eyes locked. “I care about you. And, I’d do anything to keep you safe,”

I didn’t really have anything to say, because I knew he meant it. He knew I felt the same way about him. There was a reason why I went to his home instead of Jennifer’s, or Emily’s… And, that reason was because he cared about me and he was my best friend.

I scooched the chair closer to him and threw the blanket over his other shoulder. He looked over at me with a smile and his hair flopped in front of his eyes. I smiled as I brushed the hair away from his face.

We fell back into our comfortable silence. My head was rested on his shoulder as his fingers slowly entwined with mine. I don’t think I was supposed to notice him holding my hand, but I did.

“Can I ask something from you, Spence,” I asked, lifting my head from his shoulder. He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows, like he wasn’t sure if my question was a trick or not.

“Of course,” he nodded and looked at me. I turned to face him more, looking up at his face.

“Kiss me,” I whispered softly. My eyes flicked between his eyes and lips, and it was taking everything within me to not just kiss him. I could easily blame the copious amounts of alcohol I consumed earlier in the evening. Or I could blame the true and exact feelings I had towards Spencer. If I could, I’d wrap them up in a box with a bow and give it to him with a note tag that simply said ‘I love you’, but I wouldn’t. I won’t tell him the real reason why I want him to kiss me. It’s only been a week since my doomed relationship ended. I couldn’t tell him, yet. So I told him a lie. “I’m drunk and heartbroken, Spencer, please just kiss me,” I whispered as I lifted my hand to his tie.

“I, uh, I... “ Spencer mumbled as he glanced towards the house. I knew no one was watching what I was doing out here, and I knew they wouldn’t care about what Spencer was doing. They were all too busy playing various drinking games and too involved with themselves to care. “Is that a good idea? I’m not so sure that’s a good idea,” he muttered as he moved closer to me. And it wasn’t because I was tugging his tie.

“I think it is… I think it’s the greatest idea ever… Why else would I be asking?” I looked up at his eyes before smiling. I dropped my hand from his tie and noted that he wasn’t moving away from me. “Tell me, Spence, would I be a fool if you kissed me?” I looked into his eyes. My reflection was noticeable in his irises and it made me smile knowing I was that close to him.

“You’d never be a fool,” Spencer whispered, his breath tickling the space above my lips. I smiled and nodded.

“I don’t know about you, but I was pretty foolish last week,” I dryly laughed. Spencer furrowed his eyebrows before shaking his head. “Please, kiss me,” I quietly begged.

He placed his hands on my cheeks before pressing his lips to mine. I hummed happily as we kissed. I could barely keep myself up and myself breathing as he gently worked his lips against mine. My heart was beating in my chest, but at the same time, it was fluttering. He was so gentle and soft, like if he went any harder he’d break me. But, I’m already broken. The butterflies I was feeling in my stomach grew and caused a heat to work its way up my cheeks. But it wasn’t just a kiss. It never is just a kiss with people. And, Spencer is more than just a person. A kiss with Jasper just felt like eh, it left me feeling nothing. But a kiss with Spencer left me wanting more. I wanted more of my life with him. It was in the few mere moments we were kissing that I realized I really did love him.

Spencer was the first to move away from me, but only a few inches. Our noses were still touching and our foreheads were still pressed together. I licked my lips and smiled softly.

“That was…” I opened my eyes and looked at him. The smile on my lips grew wider as I looked at him. His eyes scanned my face, looking for any sort of worry or fear I might have had. But I had none. “Amazing,” I whispered as I dropped my shoulders. Spencer visibly relaxed as I finished talking.

“Good,” he laughed softly as he looked back at me.

“Best kiss I’ve ever had,” I whispered with a smile. Spencer returned the smiles he looked at me. “I know you’d fool me if you kissed me again,” I murmured against his lips. Spencer smiled before pressing his lips back to mine. I hummed as I wrapped my arms around his neck to hold him as close as possible. I didn’t want to move from my spot, and I knew Spencer didn’t want to move either. “I’d be okay if you did it again,”

“I love you,” Spencer muttered into my mouth, causing me to freeze in my spot. I kept my eyes closed because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to look at him. “Oh fuck, I shouldn’t have opened my mouth,” he groaned before tilting his head back away from me. I quickly opened my eyes and looked for his face. “Now I’m the fool,” he murmured against my lips. He was clearly embarrassed because I didn’t say anything back. I was mostly shocked because I wasn’t expecting it.

“Don’t say that,” I whispered, bringing my hands to rest gently on his cheeks. He looked at me with furrowed brows, like I was the one who was wrong about our words. “I love you too,” I smiled softly at him. Spencer looked at me, like I was suddenly a light in the darkness. And, I really liked the way it felt when he looked at me like that. “Like, I wished I realized it sooner… And, before I met, you know,” I muttered as I talked about the man who broke my heart a week ago. A look flashed in Spencer’s eyes at the mention of his, I suppose, enemy. I knew he wanted to kill the man. “I’m happy I did realize it though,” I smiled as I looked at him.

“I am too,” he finally said something after a moment of silence. The smile on his lips and in his eyes, and all the previous anger and hatred melted away. “I wish I could have told you sooner,”

“You told me at a perfect time, Spencer,” I whispered before kissing him again. I nearly fell back in a fit of laughter as he tried deepening the kiss, but I was happy he kept me steady.

“Don’t worry, I got you now,” he whispered as he held me close.

{***}{***}{***}

This Christmas:

You would have thought that I was going to hate Christmas this year. I mean, considering what happened last year? He basically ruined my week and the whole holiday for me. But it got better, thanks to Spencer.

I looked up at Spencer as I wrapped my arms around his and rested my head on his shoulder. He looked back down at me with a smile before knocking on the door.

“I hope everyone had a good Christmas,” I whispered as I looked at the wreath on David’s door. Krystall must be happy about her decor this year.

“Well, this is the first year neither of us really spent it with anyone else from the team,” Spencer replied as he brought his other hand to rest on my arm. I smiled before nuzzling my head more into his shoulder. “Well, This would be the first year I didn’t spend with JJ and Will,” he spoke again, changing his answer.

“Next year,” I smiled softly as I looked up at him, “Who knows, maybe next year we’ll have our own family,” I smiled smugly. Spencer laughed and shook his head, but the happy gleam in his eyes told me otherwise. Of course he wouldn’t actually verbalize that he wants kids, it’s just been known for years that he wanted them.

“Maybe,” he looked down at me and winked. I rolled my eyes and shook my head lightly. My words were cut off by the front door swinging open. Krystall was standing by the door with a wide smile on her lips. She looked pretty happy to see Spencer and I.

“Merry Christmas, you two,” she smiled as she stepped to the side to allow us in, “Did you have a good morning?” she looked at us as we walked in.

“Wonderful,” I smiled as I looked up at Spencer and smiled. He returned the smile as he unbuttoned his jacket. Of course, we wouldn’t exactly talk about what we did this morning, I’ll just say it was a little NSFW to share with people you work with. And, somethings gotta stay between Spencer and I.

“Is anyone else here?” I looked back at Krystall as I slipped my own jacket off. I don’t really know why I asked if anyone else was here… Spencer and I were the last ones to show up...

“You’re the last ones to arrive,” she smiled at us, “Jennifer and Will brought their boys,” she spoke as childish laughter filled the moment of silence after her words.

“Oh! We were just talking about we didn’t see them this morning,” I looked up at Spencer as I moved closer to him. He carefully wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me closer to him. “I can’t wait to see them,” I smiled as I looked at Spencer. He returned the look with a loving look in his eye.

“Well, I know you two know your way around the house, everyone is in the living room. If you need anything just let us know,” Krystall smiled at us before leaving to put our coats somewhere. Once she was out of our sight, I looked back up at Spencer.

“We should probably go see everyone,” I smiled as I looked towards the kitchen. Spencer gently placed a hand on my cheek, guiding my face to face his. “What,” I whispered as I looked up at him.

“I love you,” he returned the whisper before pressing his lips to mine. I hummed as I melted into his kiss. His hand was firmly placed on my waist and he carefully pulled me closer to his body.

“God, not in Rossi’s house,” a groan came from behind us. I pulled away from Spencer and looked over my shoulder. Emily was standing in the doorway, looking at us as she lifted her glass to her lips.

“What, he was just hugging me,” I smiled at her. Spencer’s hands were still firmly on my me. And, it was very clear that he was not just hugging me. Judging by the expression on Emily’s face, she definitely saw more than she bargained for.

“Sure you were,” she smiled at us, “Spence, David needs you in the kitchen,” she looked at Spencer before pushing herself off the wall and leaving. I pouted and looked up at him.

“It’ll be just a minute. Save me a seat,” he whispered before quickly pecking my lips and swiftly leaving me in the foyar. More laughter came from the living room, causing me to smile. I instantly knew I wanted to join in the laughter and fun with the others, more specifically the two young boys.

When I stepped into the living room, everyone greeted me with a lot of excitement. It felt like they hadn’t seen me in months, but we just saw each other two days ago.

“Hey, Merry Christmas,” I smiled as I looked at everyone. Michael and Henry ran up to me and wrapped their arms around my legs, “Hey you two,” I ruffled my hand in their hair.

“Boys,” Jennifer called from her spot on the couch. I looked up at her and smiled as her two boys let go of me. I smiled before taking a seat at the armchair. “Where’s Spence? Did he come?” Jennifer asked as she watched me sit. Everyone had this weird sort of energy, like they knew something that I didn’t exactly know. I always hated when they did that. They knew that too. Granted, I’m not typically a person who likes surprises or secrets.

“Yeah, he’s helping Dave with something in the kitchen,” I smiled as I looked at her. Michael ran up to me, holding a toy truck he got this morning. “Whoa! That’s such a cool truck, Michael! What else did you get?” I leaned and braced myself on my knees. He was very quiet as he told me what he got, but he was very enthusiastic about everything. When he finished telling me everything he got, he cautiously climbed onto the chair and sat beside me.

“You were supposed to save me a seat,” a voice came from behind me. I looked behind me and saw Spencer, looking down at me with a wide smile. “I’ll just have to sit over here,” he faked a pout before going to sit on the other armchair.

“What can I say, the fellas love me,” I smiled as I watched him sit. As much as I loved sitting with Jennifer’s boys, I really wanted to sit with Spencer. Even from across the living room, he knew that too.

As the night went on, food was eaten, drinks were drunk, presents were exchanged. I still had a 4 year old little boy attached at my hip, and there was no getting rid of him. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him… But, there were things that I wanted to do. Like sit with Spencer, and talk about things other than toys and little kid things…

“Can we talk real quick?” Spencer asked as he squatted beside me and Michael. I looked at him and nodded, feeling my face falter slightly. I looked down at the boy on my knee, silently telling Spencer that my shadow probably won’t leave me alone. Spencer looked over his shoulder at Jennifer, silently telling her something.

“Hey, Michael, c’mere,” Jennifer spoke to her child. Michael looked up at me before hugging me and leaving me alone. I looked back up at Spencer before standing up.

“Privately?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Spencer swallowed roughly and nodded before grasping my hand and bringing me outside. The door clicked shut behind us as we walked towards the sitting area. I was instantly hugging myself to keep myself somewhat warm, because it was cold and I wasn’t wearing my coat.

“I’ll be quick, I’m sorry,” he cringed, grasping both my hands to hold them. I furrowed my eyebrows as I warily looked at him. The anxiety that I was feeling was through the roof, and I knew he noticed it too.

“Is everything okay,” I whispered as I looked at him. I was worried something was wrong. Why else would he want to talk to me alone? But, something couldn’t have been wrong, because he was smiling and laughing and looked happy.

“I just wanted to talk to you for a second... And without Michael by your side,” Spencer laughed as he looked back at me. I smiled as I looked up at him. “And I wanted to have a moment with you, alone,” he looked over my shoulder at the house. Something flashed in his eyes as he pulled one hand from me and put it in his pocket. “In fact… I wanted eternity with you,” he whispered as he looked at me. I dropped my shoulders as I slowly realized what he meant. “I know Christmas is your favorite, and last Christmas was ruined… But I wanted to make it mean something to you again…”

“Spen-”

“Will you marry me,” he whispered, pulling out a small grey box and opening it up. The ring was a plain silver band with a diamond embedded in the center. I looked at him and smiled. “I know it’s barely been a year… But,”

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” we both said it in unison. He looked up at me and smiled, his eyes a little bit moist. Mine were also welling up a little bit.

“Of course I’ll marry you, Spencer,” I whispered looking at him with a smile. He returned the smile before sliding the ring on my finger. I placed my hands on his cheeks before pulling him into a kiss. Cheering and applause came from inside, causing me to laugh against his lips. I looked up at him and smiled. “I love you,” I whispered softly.

“I love you too,” Spencer smiled before kissing me again.

{***}{***}{***}

The following morning Spencer and I were downtown. We didn’t have much to do, so we explored downtown while the holiday decorations were still up. Spencer was actually taking me to an after Christmas movie thing at a black and white theater. Our quiet laughter and conversation made me feel happy. Our conversations were mostly filled with the excitement of our new engagement and future wedding.

That was until I was stopped abruptly as we walked into a familiar man and woman. I stared at him, feeling a certain sickness rise in my stomach. Spencer’s arm went back around me in a protective manner. My body went frigid as I stared at the man and the woman, so I was thankful for Spencer’s embrace.

“Jasper,” I spoke, almost breathlessly. I swallowed roughly as I stared at them. Jasper was quiet for a long time. I knew for a fact he was pretending to not know who I was. But he 100% knew who I was, and who Spencer was.

"I almost didn't recognize you," he laughed as he looked at me. I started back and held back the scoff. "You look so different,"

“Well, it’s been a year, so it doesn’t surprise me,” I looked at him and then at his wife. His pregnant wife. I only knew they were married now because of the ring she was nonchalantly showing off to Spencer and I. I wouldn’t be surprised if she thought I was wallowing in pity for a full year. They’re probably both surprised by seeing me with Spencer, Jasper more than her. I bounced back from our spilt faster than he probably thought.

I ignored them and looked up at Spencer, who was staring at Jasper with such laser precision I swear he’d kill him. But, to be fair, Jasper was staring at Spencer with the same amount of hatred. I knew his wife was clearly uncomfortable with everything that was happening. I was uncomfortable.

“Well, it was nice seeing you again,” Jasper looked at me with a smile that was faker than a Kardashian’s ass.

“We best be going now. Spencer and I have an appointment we can’t miss,” I spoke as he opened his mouth. It was obvious he wanted to have the first out, but we just spoke over each other. I looked up at Spencer before grasping his hand and pulling him past the couple. Not another word was spoken between us, and not another word will ever be spoken between us. But, that’s okay. I have all I could ever need or want.

I looked up at Spencer before looking back down at the ring on my finger. The ring that he placed there. This is a lot better than last Christmas, and I can’t wait for the rest of my Christmases to be with Spencer.

spencer taglist: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto

#shadow writes stuff #shadow posts stuff #masterlist #matthew gray gubler #spencer reid #criminal minds #mgg #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #matthew gray gubler imagine #matthew gray gubler x reader #doctor spencer reid #doctor spencer reid imagine #doctor spencer reid fanfiction #doctor spencer reid fan fiction #criminal minds one shot #criminal minds fan fic

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kuekyuuq · 3 years

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Gloria, Jet-lags and Imps [6x11]

Let’s jump right in:

Kinda love how Kara lamp-shaded addressed the fact she didn't tell the gang about her adventures in the PZ. She’s not wrong, tho.

...what do I want to say about Mxy using what's basically a well-known gay-anthem to tell his tale? I mean, it didn’t lead anywhere. The original song is about freeing oneself, liberation, stepping out of a (gone bad) relationship and moving on, stronger for it - empowerment. The only connection I could make, is that originally it was Nyxly’s aim to just do that (freeing herself and her kind from an oppressor), but in the way Mxy performed it, that part of the parallel was long over before he even reached the chorus. It’s also a popular Karaoke song, tho, so... he chose it because it’s catchy? I’ll try not to overthink it for now. At least, the Superfriend’s reactions were fun.

Nia exiting the elevator, "And what's this Old Stone?" I love it when ppl enter a room / situation and pick up on words that they couldn't have possibly heard. I think cinema sins ding such... Are we to assume, she dreamed Mxy's rendition of ‘I will survive’? Or is the elevator not sound-proof at all? (If it’s the latter, Nia later apparently telling Brainy “in private” between scenes / during the elevator ride about her Nyxly adventures, was a silly thing to do.)

So, "Jared" created the ring Old Stone to rule them all, it got shattered into the Paragons totems? Nyxly needs the totems and to get them she needs a crystal which also belonged to "Jared" - who happens to be Mxy's ancestor, which is why she needs Mxy / his blood, too.

I have one important and incredibly relevant question here, tho...

With the introduced imps and their names... Why’s dude named Jared of all things?!

Really, did I mishear that? If so, I’ll leave it as is and never edit, bc that would be hilarious in its own right 😋

...

Not sure what to make about Supergirl paraphrasing a Dirty Dancing quote. "Nobody puts Mxy into a power crystal on my watch." ...is he Baby now? (Seriously, though: Which of the writers thought that was a fitting quote to use in that particular context?)

...now, is the exposition section of the episode over yet?

Sensitive Brainy sensed something was up with Nia. He can relate... Nia doubting Kara would understand, too, is ridiculous. But I get it... insecurities and all. But, I mean, just 5 minutes later Kara announces she wants to save Nyxly despite her wrongdoings. And yet Nia still remains convinced, Kara wouldn’t forgive her own personal mini-me... After having witnessed Kara forgiving Lena for a whole season of the writers being stupid messing up to the nth degree. But I digress, Lena’s Lena.

...how old is Nia meant to be again? Just asking out of completely unrelated curiosity.

F*ck. They really went with NewFoundland...

Imma assume it was an executive choice after realizing they couldn’t find enough actors and actresses with a convincing Irish accent... maybe. Again, no offense to Newfoundland! Just... we got the insinuations of Ireland, not Newfoundland... And truthfully, when I think of magic, Ireland is an easy association. Whereas I only due to this whole debacle learned Newfoundland has Irish ancestry. So, okay, the show forced me to learn something new... I give ‘em that.

An easy journey, she said.

Lena's been off-screen for two whole episodes, Kara announcing at the beginning of ‘Dreamweaver’ [6x09] Lena being “back east” (at least insinuating Lena’s left the west-coast already), which span over at least one full day (feat. a scene at night), and ‘I still rise’ [6x10] at least another a whole day (the whole Nia’s mom back for a day deal). And, now, after at least 48 hours she barely just arrived.

Lemme check how long a regular plane would need to fly from California to NFL......... ... .. .. So... approx. 10 hours with at least one layover.

Yeah, using a private jet made it easier, but apparently also much, much slower...

Or, Lena randomly went some other places / did some sight-seeing in NFL before she decided to finally visit her mother’s hometown... [Either that or the timelines don’t match up and Lena’s scenes are flashbacks of sorts.]

Optimistic and relaxed Lena is a sight to behold. I rewound 3 times, just to enjoy it for as long as possible. We all knew it was going to be short-lived...

Let’s check off a few more items...

OMG, Kara hiding behind Alex at the mere sight of the PZ-projector broke my heart! 😢

"Elisabeth Walsh" is the new 'the one you shall not name'. ...poor Lena. 😭

Oh, so Mxy wants to be Patrick Swayze instead of Baby... gotcha.

...is this going anywhere?

KITTY!!! Okay, this must be the best opponent in the history of CWSG.

Despite the horrible CGI, SG using her heat-vision to project a laser-beam to distract the cat had me in (happy-) tears! 🤣

Gotta love the civilians of National City quickly returning to business as usual once the giant cat is gone. Even the police officers looked rather chill...

Nyxly did look fabulous this episode ^^

Andrea being Lena's rock is both great and annoying. I can't fault Andrea. It's just, that we still have to see an on-screen interaction between Lena and Kara and that bugs the heck out of me. I can’t help it. I’m sorry, Andrea.

Nia: "...is my fault." Kara: "Nu, is MY fault!" J'onn: "Stop fighting, kids!" Space-dad has spoken.

Mxy used an LuthorCorp copy machine... and of cos it's faulty. It's not an L-Corp product.

Kara forgiving Nia came as a surprise to her... Oooookay. I mean, the show has been writing Kara a bit inconsistently the past two seasons... so, yeah, maybe being unsure which of her traits apply this week was not such a far stretch...

Maybe it's the hair, but I wished, Florence was played by Alex Kingston.

So, not-Alex-Kingston shows Lena herself with a funny wig and tells her how her mother was still watching her...

If it wasn't for Katie's acting skills (I love her.) I would have already hit my head against the wall repeatedly. Something about these scenes had me constantly cringe and I made it through 5.5 seasons of this show already... Can’t quite put my finger on it, but it was highly distracting from the story that explained Lena’s mom was special even to another witch, where there was domestic abuse, and an accidental murder. Y’know, important stuff, deep-cutting stuff!

At least, poor widddle Lena got some closure there. Elisabeth was a good cookie. And filled with magic. And Lena’s gotta have that ‘spark’, too...

....so... Lena’s gonna stay in NFL for how much longer, to train becoming a witch? Please, just hand her a how-to manual and send her back home, to figure it out on her own, please... (Yes, that would be horrible decision-making, but I need her back with the team!)

On to the finish line:

So... Mxy IS Nyxly's brother? Wait, that doesn’t sound right... then Nyxly would have the same blood... Did I miss something? Can someone explain, please? Or is he her ex, and that’s where his rendition of “I will survive” makes sense?

Hnn... I can't help, but think Kara's speech for Nyxly was 85% based on her experiences with Lena in s05.

Awww... he said "stronger together"... Mxy... I hope, you'll be okay!

Lena believes in magic now. And I absolutely love how Lena wants to science magic XD

...but apparently magic isn’t science that hasn’t been explained yet, but parallel... powers? concepts? ether strings?

Nyxly has a loyal henchman now. Which was a bit heavy-handed. Took way too much of screen-time, so it better leads to something interesting.

And Kara is on a warpath now. Wooooot! Girl’s got enough.

...what else?

Did I miss a third Patrick Swayze hint / quote / mention? I learned, these things come in threes... Y’know, basic writing rules...

I guess, for once the episode title was meant to be taken literally, Mxy popping up between characters, to try and help. (I need in-show footage, of Mxy sneaking up on ppl, without his powers, on all fours / crouched, just to get the desired effect.) I mean, I’ve never really watched Malcom, but wasn’t he like what Mxy usually is? A bit of a trouble-maker, prankster, chaos-ensuing wherever he goes? ...well, in that case, the episode title didn’t hold up, as Mxy’s scenes were not fun or really goofy. Yes, there was some superficial humor, but just to serve Mxy dealing with not being able to use his powers, which in turn was only barely scratched at (although it turned out to be his final character development crisis, appreciating not having powers and - in turn - facing consequences for once). Again, a whole lot going on in the episode, so a lot of that may have ended up on the cutting-room floor.

...where’s Kelly? Secretly adopting a kid, maybe?

...Kara’s still a reporter, right? I mean, whenever it serves the immediate plot, yes? ...Not even a throw-away line, that she has to pop up at CatCo for appearances sake? Since Andrea is already upset with her AND looking into her friends’ identities? At least, Kara should take a peek to make sure Andrea hasn’t uncovered anything yet... No?

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. Kue out.

#Supergirl #supercorp #Mxy in the middle #6x11 #mxy #nyxly #lena luthor #magic #lena's mom #fiction dissected #fandom #episode #Nia nal #dreamer #brainy #brainia

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years

Text

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers

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yashanydoren · 3 years

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Why do ppl watch other ppl play dnd I don’t get it. Why not just play?

why do people watch other people play dnd?

it’s fun! I wouldn’t have understood how much fun it could be before I watched it but it really is a lot of fun. you get to watch a group of friends enjoy each other’s company and trust each other enough to make something really great together, and mutually create an epic story that comes from something completely on the spot as well as a DM that plans out a larger world purely out of love for the genre and the act of storytelling. It’s a true labour of love that is shared between friends and then extended and shared with the rest of the world to make a really nice little community full of creativity and for the most part, love. It’s a lovely thing to be a part of. And because it’s improv based no one knows what’s going to happen, not even the cast, which makes for some very authentic real live reactions which I gotta say is genuinely something special to watch. It’s very refreshing coming from scripted shows with a writers room that inevitably end up being a big disappointment more often than not because even if actors want something to happen in the shows, the writers often shut it down and there’s no room for collaboration or creativity outside of that. at least with something like dnd players can steer things the way they might want them to be or talk outside the game with their friends about what they might have an idea of happening and there’s that collaboration that so many things are missing.

In terms of critical role (because I haven’t watched any other live dnd games) the cast have a lot to do with it’s general success and why it’s so popular, having a cast so loveable, so receptive to fans, and so clearly enjoying themselves helps a lot. watching other people have fun doing something they love with people they love is just pure joy.

why don’t people play it themselves?

many people do! there’s enjoyment in watching and enjoyment in playing. but to speak on those that don’t play it (I can only speak to what is personal to me and from what I’ve seen other people say) there are many reasons:

1. you need a group of friends, some people simply don’t have that, and even if they do it requires you all to be in the same place at the same time, even if not physically, you have to schedule time in and it’s a lot of commitment and organising to keep a campaign going.

2. certain health issues whether it be physical or mental may mean people can’t play. I know a lot of people who play online with strangers as that is their only way to play, but some people can’t/don’t want to do that for anxiety reasons, for example.

3. people might just not want to as they get enough out of it just by watching.

I mean ultimately the same question can be asked about many things: why do people watch sports or gamers online but not play the games themselves? why do some do both? each has their own merits and there are many reasons why someone may do one and not the other, but either way there can be a lot of enjoyment in both.

#critical role #dnd #like critical role has some of the best lgbt rep i've seen and a cast that genuinely cares and respects it's relationships #it allows time and energy in the whole process so that no one is left out #where else do you get that?#many people watch it for combat and action etc which is fine although that's not for me #i watch it for the relationships that are deeply entrenched in every interaction and that are given the actual time of day to shine!#i came from watching twd that didn't respect that AT ALL and was constantly begging for crumbs from relationships that THEY set up only to #completely forget about or disregard #now i feel like i've hit the jackpot #and that's not to say it will never disappoint me but it's a far cry away from begging for scraps like before #like you CAN actually have a much larger story AND well thought out characters AND relationships that are given the attention and respect t #that they deserve #YOU CAN ACTUALLY HAVE IT ALL #the only negative is that seeing people have so much fun with their friends like that makes me so envious that i don't also have a group of #friends of my own to do that with #so sorry this got so long but apparently i could talk about this forever #Anonymous #asks

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vibing-and-writing · 3 years

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Suavemente

A/N: hello beautiful ppl!! i hope you’re all doing well!! here is my submission for the #marveldiversitychallenge hosted by @allaboardthereadingrailroad. i know i’m a couple days late but school has been really annoying ;-; i hope you enjoy and as always feedback is greatly appreciated!! edit: i forgot to mention my prompt was “Are you stupid or stupid?” which I put in bold. thanks sm

Summary: When Tony organizes a team-building exercise at a Salsa studio, Steve doesn’t know what to expect. Shenanigans ensue.

Latin!Reader X Steve Rogers

It had been an established tradition that once a month, everyone who was free that called themselves an Avenger had to participate in what Tony had dubbed “team-building activities.” Steve thought these were fun, like the time they played laser tag or when they went to that pottery place and the team made mugs. These team activities were always the time where they could relax and do something fun, ignore the weight on their shoulders. A time to spend time together without bad guys around every corner. So when Tony walked into the boardroom, he wasn’t too worried.

The meeting starts off like any other, updates on other regions, a call to the Guardians, the usual. Near the end of the meeting, Tony stands confidently in front of the projector after a pause. “Set the mood FRIDAY,” he says, his face conniving and too cheerful. Very loudly, FRIDAY plays a Spanish song, one he’s definitely heard but doesn’t know the words to.

Suavemente, bésame!

Te quiero sentir tus labios,

Besándome otra vez.

Steve’s eyes widen a bit, his mind running through the different activities. Glancing around him, Steve looks at the team’s various reactions. Bucky seems a bit taken aback but not surprised, Nat looks like she knows where this is headed, and Sam is already dancing in his chair. Vaguely shimmying to the beat of the song, a mischievous smile pulls on Tony’s lips as he raises his voice over the music. “We’re going to a Salsa class. Spiderboy, Wanda, Pepper, and Vision are going too. You can thank Sam for the idea. Be ready by 1:30, I booked an hour and a half” Before anyone can say anything, Tony shimmies his way out of the room, the music fading with him. Sam looks around the table excitedly, hopeful his friends like his idea. His eyes practically glow with happiness. “Make sure to wear workout clothes, y’all. Y/Ns gonna make you work,” Sam says, his voice almost mischievous. Steve lets out a defeated sigh, accepting his fate of stepping on many toes and struggling to keep up. Thinking back, Steve was never the dancer, and even less now with the change of music over the decades he’d been in the ice. But he’d be damned if he didn’t try, especially if Sam was gonna be watching, poking fun at him the whole way through. Bucky gives a nod, a small smile on his lips. “So this is where you spend your days off,” Bucky says like he should’ve seen this coming. Sam gives him a smirk as he gets up and grabs his jacket. “How do you think I got these thighs,” Sam replies, gesturing towards said thighs, barely contained by his jeans. Steve lets out a chuckle, chancing a look at Natasha. Grabbing her laptop, her smile is warm but challenging. “I’m gonna dance you into the floor Wilson,” she says, confident in her dance experience. Sam lets out a laugh, his tone just as confident and challenging, “Are you stupid or stupid? I’d like to see you try.” With that, they leave the boardroom together, the faint sound of Spanish music filling the Tower until they all pile into a car and drive to the dance studio.

---------------------------------------

Getting out of the car, Steve can still hear Bucky and Sam bickering, though the parking lot seems deserted save for a few cars. Steve doesn’t know what to expect. Especially since he’s never been a dancer, and knows less about Latin culture, something he only got educated on when he was in the 21st century. As someone who was always in control, this was very new. But nonetheless, he walked into the studio behind Sam, Bucky, and Tony with Pepper on his arm, with Peter, Nat, Wanda, and Vision trailing behind. The first thing that catches his eyes is the glass case full to the brim with different trophies and medals. The studio’s walls were floor to ceiling mirrors and a front desk area near the entrance, with a door that led to what Steve assumed was a locker room. “Y/N, your favorite Avenger is here!” Sam called into the empty studio. The locker room door opens, and Steve couldn’t stop his blush from spreading if he tried. The woman, who he guesses is Y/N, walks out confidently, her arms outstretched to hug Sam. She is stunning, to say the least, her brown skin glowing under the studio’s lights. Her hair is in a slicked-back puff, donned in a simple muscle tank and leggings. And she’s wearing red lipstick. “It’s always the lipstick,” Steve can hear Bucky teasing in his head. “Just because you’re my student doesn’t mean you’re my favorite Sam,” she replies, her voice teasing but fond. Steve feels Bucky nudge him with his arm, breaking him out of his obvious ogling. Releasing from the hug, Y/N turns to the rest of the group. “I’m Y/N, incase Sam didn’t give it away, and I’ll be your instructor today.” Steve feels his heart skip a couple of beats at the prospect of getting to stare at you for the next hour, though his pathetic dance skills will probably kill any chance he has with you. Steeping on someone’s toes wasn’t the best way to make a first impression. In a fight, Steve was light on his feet and agile, but fighting was very different from dancing. Plus his experience with women isn’t exactly the best and he would probably break one of your toes before getting your number- He suddenly felt all eyes on him and a long silence. Blinking, Steve notices you looking at him, your hand outstretched. If Steve wasn’t blushing before, he definitely was now as he stuttered. “I- I’m sorry what did you say?”

Looking at him consideringly, you awkwardly retract your hand. “I was asking if you wanted to be my partner for this class.” Steve can hear Natasha and Bucky holding back their laughter behind him, and Sam just looks as smug as ever. “Oh, I don’t think I’d be a very good partner. I’m probably the worst dancer here.” Steve replies, laughing nervously and rubbing his neck with his hand. Your face lights up in understanding before walking closer to him. You grab his hand and usher him closer to the front of the studio near a laptop and speaker set up. “Which is exactly why you should be paired with me, Captain Rogers. You’ll learn better if you’re with me. Plus, I’m used to students stepping on my toes.” Your voice is resolute as you hold him by the hand, grouping up the other team members as you fiddle with the music. Steve can’t help but feel like this is set up as he looks between your hand grasping his and his teammates, all looking various stages of smug or suggestive except Peter, who just looks happy to be there, and Vision, who is just staring at Wanda. Grouped in partners, Natasha is with Peter, who actually has experience with salsa he found out, Sam is with Bucky, both noticeably not looking at each other, Tony with Pepper and Vision with Wanda.

Looking at the other groups, you start to explain the starting position and the basics of salsa without the music. “Normally, the taller of the pair will lead with their right and the shorter will lead with their left.” You seem to think for a moment before you continue your explanation. “While salsa is meant to be danced in pairs, the lead is the one who guides the dance.” Gently grabbing Steve, you place your left hand on his shoulder and hold his hand with your right. Before Steve can form a thought, you start to slightly move him by the shoulder, using your weight to push him. “When you lead it is very important to use your body weight. Even a dancer with no experience can dance well if they have a good lead.” Most of the group is either trying to hold back their imminent laughter or they’re too busy trying to ask questions so you continue to use Steve as a test subject. You either don’t notice or ignore them as you run over to the speaker, start the music, and go back to Steve. “Can I do a quick demonstration?” you ask him, and it was really unfair because there was no way Steve could say no. Steve nods slightly, and before he can blink you shoot off like a rocket. You push him into a spin to the right, a turn to the left, another spin, and Steve can only see vague flashes of movement as you move around him fluidly. You almost leave him dizzy, until you finish, letting him fall gently into a dip. Steve opens his eyes, not realizing he closed them, and is greeted by your face inches away from his. His face erupts in a blush as you stare at each other, your breath only slightly labored. He can vaguely hear applause and Sam complaining about not getting to dance with you before you let him stand upright. You let out a small laugh before looking back at Steve. “I hope that wasn’t too bad Captian,” you say, your hands fidgeting with your muscle tank. Steve can only open and close his mouth repeatedly before just replying, “Wow.” The team and you laugh a bit and his blush continues to spread down his neck. “Well, we won’t be doing too many spins today, but I hope that was fun for you.” Steve laughs lightly, his hand coming behind his neck. “Well I- it was a lot of fun. Felt like a rollercoaster.” Your smile widens as your laugh rings through the studio, and Steve tries not to think how nice it sounds before you turn to the rest of the team.

You seem to get back into a professional element, letting go of Steve’s hand to help out the other pairs, especially Buck and Sam as they bicker over who should lead. Coming back to the front of the studio you grab Steve’s hands and get into the starting position. Reaching behind you, the music streams from the speakers. Leaning into Steve, you talk to him over the music. “I’ll lead for now Captain Rogers,” you say, your voice almost teasing. Steve can only nod jarringly, before replying shortly, “Steve is fine.” You nod in acknowledgment before addressing the rest of the pairs. “We’re going to start by doing the basic salsa step, just forward and back,” you say as you demonstrate. Steve stands trying to follow your instruction, his hand clammy against yours. Everyone nods before you start counting the beats and doing the basic step.

The rest of the class goes on without incident, and Steve is proud to say he only stepped on your toes twice. The team seemed happy as well, the couples very comfortable with dancing and lots of laughter coming from Pepper on Tony’s behalf. The rivalry between Nat and Sam got squashed very quickly because Sam was too busy bickering with Bucky, and Nat was trying to make sure her and Peter’s hands wouldn’t stick together. Wanda and Vision seemed the most peaceful, though it seemed they were staring at each other more than actually paying attention. Bucky and Nat kept sneaking teasing glances at him, especially if you used him as another demonstration, your hands landing on his waist or vice versa. By the end of the class, the team was tired but pleased. Everyone was joking around and laughing, so much so that Steve could almost ignore the blush that had coated his cheeks for the past hour and a half. Saying their goodbyes, Steve went to give you a handshake, but you held his hand for a moment. Your eyes lock for a moment before you look back at your intertwined hands and take a deep breath. “I don’t want to be too forward, since we just met and all, but I was wondering if you’d want to go out sometime? Not dancing but maybe dinner-?”

“Yes,” Steve interrupts. You both let out surprised laughs, Steve’s free hand going to rub his neck, a nervous tick you’ve noticed. Both of you are thoroughly flustered and whipped for each other already, Steve found it hard to imagine how he could’ve said no. You let go of his hand, happily running towards the front desk to grab a pen and piece of paper to jot down your number. As you write down your number, you hear a thump against the window of the door of the studio. There stand, very squished together, Sam, Bucky, and Natasha, looking very pleased. Out of your peripheral, you can see Steve trying to shoo them away. “I’m sorry about them,” he says, his voice only half upset. You smile at him and gesture back at the trio. “I’ll have to get used to that if I want to keep you, right?” Steve laughs, his smile lighting up the studio. “Yeah, but I’ll get them to leave us alone somehow.” You nod in affirmation, the trio finally trickling away from the door as they notice their position has been compromised. Handing the paper to Steve, you lead him out of the door, the afternoon light making your skin glow.

“I’ll talk to you soon Captain,” you say, leaning in to give Steve a kiss on the cheek before closing the studio door. Steve might’ve convinced himself the kiss happened, except for the red lipstick stain on his cheek and the hollering of his friends a few feet away from him. As Steve walked away, his friends trailing behind, he knew he had a great feeling about you, and he couldn’t wait to find out more.

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