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iwadori · 3 years

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Haikyu boys when they make you insecure PT 1 (Kenma,Kuroo)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6.

Word Count:3k

genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

Kenma:

You and Kenma have been in a long distance relationship for a while.

Both of you stream, Kenma doing it seriously for his job and you just playing it for fun,

Sometimes you stream together of course but because of your difference in audiences and games you don’t do it all the time

“Bye guys! Hope you enjoyed todays stream” You wave off to the camera and shut off your PC taking a few sips of water.

Kenma: Hey.. nice stream today Y/N are you going to watch mine?

Y/N: Of course I will

Kenma: Ok talk to you later

Y/N: okayy <3

Kenma is what inspired you to stream, he also taught you all the ins and outs of streaming making sure you were set and ready. Your gaming style was very relaxed and friendly as you obviously weren’t streaming as a career just for fun and to make friends with your online viewers. The games you played were usually: minecraft, COD, Sims 4, Roblox, Animal crossing and *Insert your favourite game here* the way I literally named all the games I play

You wait for Kenmas stream to start, kind of excited as you’ve always loved seeing your boyfriend in his ‘element’ when it comes to playing to games. As your boyfriends stream starts you see he’s already chosen what game he is playing today which is to your surprise Call of duty, since that was the game you were playing earlier.

As he gets into the stream you are entertained, as always since Kenma was being his usual self laughing at his own deadpan jokes and interacting with his viewers. He is currently waiting for his capture the flag game to start so as he waits he decides to read some comments in the chat.

You’re used to the usual ‘Kenma where is Y/N I miss your usual streams together’ or ‘kenma please RAIL me’ which always makes you laugh. You were also used to the common hate comments Kenma and You both got on your streams but you were definitely not ready for this..

@ Ihatewomanandiamadick : Hey Kenma did you see your girls stream today she is so dog shit at COD lmaoooo jhdfkjdrhdrr

“Well hello ihatewomenandiamadick” started Kenma “but yes I did see Y/N stream and obviously she is not the best at games and I would definitely NOT ask her to team with me for any serious gaming competitions ... but she’s fun to watch I guess” as he finished speaking about you his game loaded up so he focused his attention on that the words he just spoke going to the back of his mind as they end up at the forefront of yours.

You obviously knew you were no match for Kenma’s gaming expertise but you didn’t expect him to publicly agree with a hate comment let alone add more of his imput on you. Did he really think that about you? ‘She’s fun to watch I guess’ did he not even enjoy your streams that much?

You wanted to distract yourself, and you definitely couldn’t do that watching him so you close off of his stream and get in your bed deciding to watch your favourite show.

Waking up at 6pm after your sad nap, you see that Kenma has left some messages to you,

Kenma: hey did you watch my stream?

Kenma: do you want to facetime later and play some minecraft..?

Kenma: y/n r u ok??

Y/N: oh hey cnt play minecraft w you rn not really in the mood..

Kenma: oh ok..

Time passed since then a month to be exact and you basically dropped off of the face of the earth, you weren’t in the mood to do anything let alone game and stream, which was a constant reminder of your boyfriend (something you didn’t want at the time.)

You felt embarrassed over all the things he said about you and all the things you now think he thinks about you and the way you play. Maybe he thinks even worse things about you, beyond just how you game? What if he doesn’t even genuinely like you...or he has someone else...it does make sense, you do both live miles and miles away from eachother AND he’s a big streamer you see the amount of girls in his comments.

You shake your head to erase your protruding thoughts coming in your mind, but it doesn’t really help. You and Kenma haven’t spoken much over this month he tried to constantly reach out to you at first but you assume he got bored over your constant, repetitive dry texts. So you were almost content with you and Kenma not even being in a relationship anymore.

However on Kenma’s side, he was beyond worried about you. Since you haven’t been streaming or barely responded to his texts he thought something happened to you, but he didn’t want to be seen as ‘overstepping boundaries’ if there was nothing wrong at all with you and you simply were just ‘not in the mood.’

So here he is, in Kuroo’s apartment trying to get him to help him out on finding out what is wrong with you.

“So kenma can you remember what happened the day when Y/N went ‘ghost’“ asked Kuroo in a mock detective voice

“Y/N didn’t go ‘ghost’ Kuro, and take this seriously” said Kenma “I’m worried bout her”

“Okay fine, but for real what’s the last thing you remember before she started acting all weird.”

“Umm I think it was around a month ago I did my saturday stream and I think she was on it but she didn’t leave her usual nice comments throughout”

“Ohh that was the stream when you sai-” Kuroo said before pausing his words as the memory of what Kenma said about you on his stream came in his mind, as even Kuroo thought it was a tad bit harsh for Kenma to say all those things “I think I know why Y/N has been so distant kiddo”

“What why?” Asked Kenma

Kuroo pulls out his phone and brings up the clip off what Kenma said and Kenma’s face cringes ‘did he really say all those things about you’ he thinks.

“Shit.. I didn’t know I said all of that” he said quietly “how do I make it up to her?”

“There’s only one thing you can really do Kenma” said kuroo

You are woken up out of your sleep by a knock on the door. Getting out your bed like a zombie, you trudge to your front door only surprised by what you see. There in his 5′6 glory stood your ‘boyfriend’ Kenma with a controller and a kitten teddy in his hand. You were very tempted to shut the door in his face and get back to your dreamless sleep but you waited on him to speak.

“Hi Y/N” he said quietly “wanna play some minecraft...?”

“Why so you can ridicule me on how shit I am?” You ask bitterly ready to shut the door on him

“No! No not all” he said stopping you from shutting the door entering your place “Y/N i’m really sorry on what I said, I wasn’t thinking AT ALL... I love watching your streams and I think you’re great at playing games...I was just being a dick,”

You take a deep breath before tears pool in your eyes “what you said really hurt me kenma..” you say “ I know people say shitty things on the internet all the time... it’s the internet. But I wasn’t expecting you to agree with the hater and say even more shitty things on top of that.. I don’t think I want to even stream anymore”

Upon hearing that, Kenma’s mouth parts open with shock ‘you dont want to stream anymore’ were his comments that bad? Now he feel even worse as he should and is now more determined to make things right.

He impulsively drags your arm into your game room, catching your surprise ‘what is he up too?’ you think. He stops for a second seeing your usual pristine gaming set up, collected up with dust.

“What are you do-” you start

“Just wait!” He says, as he rushes away turning on all your stuff and logging onto his twitch account as he sees the views go up he starts to speak

“Hi guys, its me kodzuken and today I’m here on stream with my beautiful girlfriend and today I want to say..” he turns to you “Y/N im so sorry for the horrible things I said to you that day... I was just being a dick and I’m sorry I really am.”

You look at the chat and you see some confusion and some people recalling his words from last month. “It’s fine Kenma, I forgive you” you say giving him a hug”

“Okay Y/N, so what do you say... wanna beat my ass at bed wars?” He says with a smirk

“When have I ever loss?” you return his smirk

Of course you did beat his ass as bed wars for rounds on rounds never losing proving yourself to actually be a good gamer girl. You enjoyed your time with Kenma, forgetting what he said before about you and moving on.

Eventually, you guys moved in together and streamed together all the time and yes you still do play for fun but you’ve gotten way better at COD (some may say better then Kenma) but who is better didn’t matter to any of you, as long as you got to play together that’s all you both cared about.

Kuroo:

Kuroo and you have been together since you were in your first year of high school

You met as friends first when you got him to tutor you in chemistry ( a subject you still aren’t that good at.)

Now you have your upcoming entrance exams for university in a month so your school has you doing mock exams in preparation for them.

20%

You look down at your chemistry paper that your teacher just handed you. 20%. You’re surprised, very surprised since out of all your subjects (that you go 90+% on) you studied on the chemistry test the hardest ensuring Testurou, that you didn’t need his help at all. But I guess it turns out, you did.

This failing mock grade put a blunder on your day, you didn’t interact with anyone and didn’t want to see your boyfriend so you skipped your usual routine of meeting him on the rooftop and went to the library instead ‘might aswell start early on your studying’ you thought.

As you were going over your chemistry topics, you hear an ‘ahem’ next to you and you turn your head only to find your boyfriend and his friends next to you. Kuroo with his usual goofy smile on his face.

“Hey kitten where were you at lunch?” he asked

“Needed to go to the library, Chemistry is kicking my ass” you mumbled

“Oya” he said as he noticed your chemistry test laying under your textbook “20%, well damn Y/N I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t know you were that stupid” he laughed doing his stupid usual hyena-like laugh.

Ouch well that hurt. You slightly flinched at his words, “Really your name, you didn’t know the molecular formula for ethanol, that’s first year work” he said continuing to laugh “I’m pretty sure that’s one of the first things I tutored you on when we first met”

His overbearing laughter was not good for you, you were already having a bad day and yes you do know your not that good at chemistry but you didn’t need your chemistry-enthusiast boyfriend to make fun of you for failing. Kenma and Yaku stood there awkwardly obviously aware of how bad Kuroo is making you feel but they didn’t really know how to stop his friend in the moment.Whilst he’s still dying of laughter you decide to pack up your stuff and leave the library.

You managed to get your Chemistry tutor to let you retake your mock paper in a week so that means, extra hard studying with no distractions you definitely can’t fail again. Since studying on your own was definitely not a good option, and you couldn’t go to Kuroo (especially after he ridiculed you) you decided to ask the second smartest person you know to tutor you.

Y/N: Hey Yaku! Can I ask you a favour?

Yaku: Hi Y/N what do you need??

Y/N: I have my chemistry retake next week, and as you know from your loud-loud friend I failed my recent test so can you tutor me??

Y/N: Pleaseeee

Yaku: Ok Y/N why can’t you ask Kuroo you know that he’d be more than happy to help

Y/N: Yakuu pleasee just help me out

So there you was, nearly a week done with your study sessions with Yaku and you’re feeling way more confident than before.

“Y/N what is the functional group of a Carboxylic Acid” Yaku asked

“umm... COO?”

“Great! that’s correct Y/N” he praises i dont actually know if it’s correct or not

You then hear a knock at Yaku’s front door and hear his mum let the person in, Kuroo then enters Yaku’s bedroom with shock plastered on his face surprised to see you here.

“Y/N...hey?” he says confused “what are you doing here?”

“Oh Mori-chan is just helping me with chemistry for my retake tommorow” you say nochalantly internally smiling at the twinge in Kuroo’s face at the purposeful use of Yaku’s first name.

“So why didn’t you ask me to help you know I’m a chemistry whiz” he asks

“Maybe I’m too stupid to be taught under your tutelage” you mumble “since I seem to forget whatever you teach me, even when it’s 3 years ago... but ok”

“Y/N I-” he starts

“Oh save it Kuroo, I have studying to do” you say cutting him off

“But I-” he tries

“So Mori-chan COOH is the function group of ethyl ethonate right?” you ask ignoring your boyfriend who is now at a lost for words

“ummm yeah it is” says yaku who is clearly feeling heavily awkward at the tension in his bedroom.

Kuroo leaves and you and yaku finish off the studying for the night, you did feel a little bad for being a bit mean to Kuroo but it’s karma for him being a dick to you.

You wake up the next day ready for your exam which was first thing in the morning, before you hand in your phone you see a message from Kuroo,

Kuroo: I know you’re still mad at me, but I think you’re going to do so well on this test. You’re not stupid at all, you’re really smart and I love you < 3

Kuroo: Good luck Y/N

You don’t respond to the message but smile at the sincerity of it and thankful for the boost of confidence it gave you before you start your exam.

Finishing the exam with a smile, you were confident you did well as everything you and Yaku went over was on the paper and you’re almost certain you atleast got more than 75%. You have to wait an hour before your teacher can give you your results, so in the meantime you might aswell reconcile with Kuroo.

When you exit the classroom, standing there was Kuroo who seemed to have been waiting for you for the whole duration of the exam.

“So how was it?” Kuroo asked, apprenhensive as he assumed you would just ignore him like you did at Yaku’s house.

“It was fine, I think it went alright..” you say

“Kuroo”

“Y/N”

You say simultaneously, he pauses for a second to let you speak “I’m sorry I was being so stand offish when we were at Yaku’s I just wanted you to see I could do it on my own, and when you called me stupid I really took that to heart since you and I both know that Chemistry wasn’t ever my best subject”

“I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, and since it was only a practice test I didn’t think you’d take it to heart but I am sorry I know you aren’t stupid.”

Before you got to say anything else, your Chemistry teacher exited the room with your chemistry paper in hand. Kuroo grabbed your hand anticipating your nerves and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Miss L/N” said your teacher “Well done on your chemistry test” he turned your test around to sure a perfect 100%. Both you and Kuroo gasped, you were elated to say the least you wanted to jump up and down in excitement but a PERFECT 100%.

“I’d also like to add that you have now got the top chemistry score in the school beating the previous title holder Kuroo Testurou” said your teacher, this made Kuroo open his mouth even wider in surprise nearly making you giggle at his response.

Your teacher took his leave, leaving you and Kuroo in the hallway “ I guess i’m the chemistry whizz now “ you say wiggling your eyebrows just as Kuroo did to you before at Yaku’s this made him chuckle as he came to put his arm around you.

“Y/N don’t get ahead of yourself now, you may have won this battle but I will win the war” he said smiling

In the final exam, you continue your winning streak also getting a near 100% and still beating Kuroo which didn’t matter to either of you, now you’re just like him cracking chemistry puns and jokes all the time which none of your friends appreciated but atleast Kuroo found them SODIUM funny.

AN: Please kill me for the last line of Kuroos, I didn’t really like Kuroo’s since it was a bit self indulgent with my hate for chemistry but what do you guys think?

#haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyuu fluff #haikyu scenarios #haikyu headcanons #kenma angst #kenma fluff #kenma x you #kozume kenma #kenma scenario #kenma headcanons #kuroo x reader #kuroo imagine #kuroo scenarios #kuroo fluff #kuroo angst #kuroo tetsuro x reader #signedwithanE😌

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nyuksw · 3 years

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Thin Walls — Juyeon smut

warnings: unprotected sex, masturbation, sex toys

You knew Juyeon because he was your neighbor living next door in a department building. You weren't exactly friends or talked too often other than the casual greetings and small conversations when you two bumped into each other. You couldn’t deny the fact that he was very handsome, beautiful facial features and nice body proportions, but you two were only neighbors and that was it.

That was until he came home one Sunday night with a girl and stayed up all night, the creaking and banging from the bed and their moans keeping you up all night annoyed because you had to go to work the next day. Couldn’t he take it somewhere else? stupid thin walls and stupid Juyeon.

The next day you saw him as you two took the elevator and he greeted you like always, earning just a small nod from you acknowledging him.

“Have a good day.” He smiled at you and walked out of the elevator making his way to his car.

You scoffed, have a good day — how could you have a good day when you didn’t even get to sleep more than 2 hours thanks to him. Your day at work went surprisingly well and your co-worker Younghoon offered to drop you off since it was late at night.

The rest of the week went as usual until Friday came and again, Juyeon had another guest staying over for the entire weekend, keeping you up from all the noise they made.

One month passed by and it became a habit of him bringing someone over for the weekend. You grew even more mad after each night and then seeing him the next day on Monday acting like nothing happened flashing you that gorgeous smile and wishing you a good day.

Why were you feeling like this? Maybe it was because you haven’t had sex in so long after your last relationship ended and he had it good every weekend while you didn’t, or maybe it was because you liked him deep inside. But how could you not? He was so sweet towards you, and yeah maybe you never talked to him for more than 5 minutes but his actions towards you were enough for you to feel a little something deep in your heart. But maybe he wasn’t such a good boy as you thought after experiencing those sleepless nights as his next door neighbor.

Friday came again and you were getting yourself ready, expecting his door to open and close with a loud slam at any minute. Hearing the noise caused by bumping into things on their way to his bed probably by kissing. But no noise was made that night and for the first time on a weekend you fell asleep peacefully and fully. You thought they would come around the next day but they didn't either.

You laid on your bed unable to focus on the book you were reading, your mind clouded with Juyeon. He must be really good in bed, considering the fact that the girls never stops moaning. You wondered how he was in bed, how his kisses must feel like. How he looked while shirtless, you have never seen him shirtless but you could see he had a nice upper body, the shirts he wore often showing some of his muscles nicely.

You didn't know why you were having these thoughts about him, and without thinking your hand no longer held a book and traveled down, passing past and under the waistband of your panties. You started touching yourself thinking of Juyeon, hissing at the sensation of your fingers rubbing circles on your clit. Would his fingers feel better than mine?

Not being satisfied with only your fingers, you reached to the last drawer from your night stand taking out a toy you haven’t used in so long.

You grabbed the vibrator and it replaced your hand inside your panties. You started moaning softly at first but then you clicked to make it vibrate harder. You were now a moaning mess, lifting your other hand to cup your boob under your shirt. But then the vibrator stopped working and frustrated you clicked repeatedly hoping for it to work again but it didn’t. You groaned and got up to change the batteries, but nothing worked.

“Stupid thing.” you said throwing the vibrator away not realizing it hit the wall, making the battery lid break and fly towards you.

You groaned and went to pick it up trying to fix it as you were still horny and desperate to have an orgasm somehow.

On the other side though, Juyeon was also sitting in his room finishing some work when he started hearing moans. Where are they coming from? He listened closely and realized they came from the other side of his wall. Were you moaning?

He got up and walked carefully towards the wall, placing his ear to it hearing more intense moans then they suddenly stopped. He heard some shuffling followed by a loud bang against the wall that scared the crap out of him and then he heard you groan. Are you okay?

He was concerned for a moment and was deciding if he should go check on you, opting to go knock on your door within seconds.

You heard a knock on the door. Now what?!

You walked towards the door and opened without looking at yourself first, seeing a surprised Juyeon standing in front of you. Juyeon eyed you from head to toe, processing the state you were in. Flushed cheeks, slight messy hair, he could see your nipples through your shirt and a vibrator on your hand.

You followed his eyes and realized you still had the stupid toy on your hand, quickly hiding it behind your back.

“W-what are you doing here?”

“Well, the walls are thin and I heard a loud bang and I came to check if you were alright but I see that you are perfectly fine.” He smirked at the last part making you blush furiously.

You were lost at words, you were beyond embarrassed.

“Does that work well?” He asked, referring to the vibrator.

What?

No response. So he spoke once again “Do you think that could be better than me?” He asked looking into your eyes, his eyes darkening.

You don't know where the courage came from but seeing his eyes and face features become dark in a way you’ve never seen before, made you feel that tingling sensation between your legs again. “Why don’t you come and we can find out?”

He wasted no time walking into your place, quickly closing the door behind him and kissing you hard on the lips. One of his hands goes behind you grabbing the vibrator and throwing it away somewhere in your living room.

“You won’t be needing that.” He said against your lips and continued kissing you as his hands went to grab your ass and make you jump on him.

“The door on the left.” You managed to say between kisses and he started walking towards your room while carrying you in his arms.

Both of you fell into the bed without breaking apart from the heated kiss. He started grinding slowly into your clothed core making you moan and he took it as a chance to slip his tongue. His hands started wandering on your body, reaching your boobs as he pulled apart. He lifted your shirt and threw it away, attacking your boobs. Sucking and kissing on them before his lips went to wrap around your nipple sucking on it before letting it go making it pop. He gave the other bud the same attention, making the pool on your panties grow bigger. He pulled away and removed his shirt revealing his body, you eyed him hungrily and pulled him back for another kiss, running your hands across his body.

His hand sneaked between your bodies and went between your legs, touching and rubbing circles on your clothed pussy. His mouth worked between kissing you and then moving lower to suck on your nipples as he rubbed your clit.

“I’m dying to taste you.” He said, his breath fanning against your wet nipple causing you to feel more pleasure.

He took his hand out from your shorts and pulled them down along with your panties.

“Open your legs for me baby.”

And you did, giving him a full view of your wet pussy that was aching for him.

“So wet and pretty for me.” He smirked as he positioned himself in front of it, looking at it in admiration while caressing your thighs.

He placed a kiss on each of your thighs before giving you a long lick making you moan and arch your back. His hands went to grab your waist, keeping you still as he went to suck on your clit. One of his hands moved to spread your folds so he could have better access before inserting his fingers into you. He kept sucking your clit, earning beautiful erotic sounds leaving your mouth. He felt your walls clenching around his fingers and knew you were close, his lips releasing your now swollen clit and moving his other hand to rub circles on it. You came on his hand in seconds screaming in pleasure, he kept rubbing your clit as you came down from your high making your legs shake with the overstimulation. He stopped his movements and placed a kiss on your thigh before going up and kissing you on the lips.

“How was that?”

“That was incredible.” You said breathlessly. “Way better than that toy for sure.”

“And I’m not even done with you yet.” He said trailing kisses from your jawline towards your breasts, softly sucking on your bud once again.

He stood up and started unbuttoning his pants before you gained some energy to get up and do it yourself, falling into your knees you pulled down his pants and his underwear, releasing his dick with the head soaked in pre-cum. Your hand wrapped around his dick and you pumped him a few times before your lips wrapped around the tip, sucking all the pre-cum.

Your lips released his tip and you started pumping him again, your tongue starting to lick down the veins on his dick, making him throw his head back in pleasure. You wrapped your lips around his dick once again and started sucking his dick, bobbing your head as fast as you could.

“You look so pretty with your lips wrapped around my dick.” He said while pushing your hair back into a ponytail secured by his fingers.

“How does it feel?” You asked, pulling away only to give him a long sensual lick from the base of his cock all the way up to the tip, only to wrap your lips around it once again and sucking him off.

He was getting close but he pulled you away gently by the hair. “I want to come inside you.”

He helped you stand up and pushed you gently on the bed on four with your ass in the air. His hands are squeezing your ass, slapping it once before grabbing his dick pumping himself a few times as he lowered himself to kiss and lick your pussy.

He positioned himself and pushed his dick into you, filling you perfectly.

He moaned. “You are so tight, it feels so good.”

He started thrusting into you, holding you by the waist making your whole body also move and thrust back into him, the sound of skin and your moans was the only thing that could be heard. He lowered himself and started giving your back open mouth kisses all the way up to your neck. He grabbed your hair again and pulled you upwards making you support yourself in your hands. He thrusted hard and deep into you, making your boobs bounce. You came for the second time, shaking uncontrollably and collapsing into the bed. He pulled out of you and gave you a moment to catch your breath and come down from your high before flipping you over now facing him.

He positioned himself on top of you, kissing your neck and sucking on it leaving a mark.

“Can you do it one more time?” He asked in a sweet voice making sure you were comfortable.

You nodded and he placed a sweet kiss on the corner of your mouth as he positioned himself and pushed into you once again making you gasp. He pressed his lips against yours and gave you several small and delicate kisses as he thrusted into you, this time doing it slow but full of passion.

“You take my dick so well, it feels like your pussy was made only for me.” He whispered against your lips and moved his head to kiss and suck on your neck again.

“I bet no one can make you feel like I do, not even that guy you’re always with.”

Which guy? You were too immersed in the pleasure to think further about what he said, a soft moan leaving your mouth as he sucked again on your neck.

“You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed about this, about us. Fucking you, making you mine.” He whispered in your ear.

His hips started to move faster and one of his hands went to cup one of your boobs, fingers playing with your nipple as the other rested on top of your head caressing it softly and moving some hairs out of your forehead.

“Come on baby, come all over me.”

You felt yourself getting closer to your third orgasm, wrapping your arms around his neck bringing him down to kiss him.

“Juyeon” You moaned on his ear as you came, your walls clenching around him, pushing him to the edge burying his head on your neck, causing him to finally reach his orgasm, coming inside you, feeling his warm cum filling you up.

Both of you stayed like that for a little while, just on each other’s arms.

He started to get up to look at your face, wiping the tears on your eyes from the overwhelming stimulation. Planting a soft kiss on your cheek he got up to grab a towel and some clothes to clean you up.

He helped you clean up and put on a shirt on you, you were too weak and shaky to move on your own so he carried you and moved you a little further to the top of the bed so you could lay on a pillow. He disappeared again to the bathroom to clean himself and came back with his underwear on. He went to lay down next to you and wrapped his arms around you.

“Was it too much?” He asked with concern in his voice but you shook your head.

“It was amazing. I’ve never felt like that before.” You reassured him by tracing soft circles on his arm with your thumb.

“I meant what I said earlier, I’ve wanted to do this for so long. And I don’t mean only having sex with you, but being able to kiss you and hold you just like this.”

“So did I. Not gonna lie, I felt somehow jealous when you brought girls with you every weekend.”

“What?”

“Oh, don’t even try to lie when I could hear everything you did. You know these walls are too thin.” You said hitting his chest lightly.

“But that wasn't me. Every weekend I go to visit my family so I leave my apartment under one of my friend’s supervision just in case.” He explained and now you were even more confused.

“Then that means that your friend was the one that came to your place with girls and didn’t let me sleep for 3 nights straight every week?!”

“Yes, trust me now that I know I’m as mad as you are. I will make him buy me a new mattress for sure. God knows what happened there...” and he cringed just at the thought of it.

“Well you can stay here with me in the meantime, that is of course if you want.”

“I’d love that.” He smiled down at you bringing you closer to him.

“But wait, don’t you have a boyfriend?” He suddenly asked.

“No, I don’t silly.”

“Then who is that guy that brings you home almost every day?”

“Oh you mean Younghoon? He is just a friend! He brings me home lately since our shifts are ending at night so he only wants to make sure I arrive safely.”

“I-I can drop you off and pick you up from your work from now on if you want.”

You smiled and turned to look at him. “Really? You’d do that?” and he nodded and smiled back at you.

“I really want to get to know you even more. Maybe I’m rushing into things but I would love to be able to be your boyfriend one day.” He sighed dreamily next to you thinking about what the future has for you two. “So how about I take you on a date tomorrow?”

“I would really love that. I can't wait.”

He kissed the top of your head as you cuddled him, laying your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he stroked your hair.

The two of you talked for a little while before falling asleep in his arms, both of you dreaming about each other that night.

#juyeon smut #tbz smut #the boyz smut #lee juyeon #tbz juyeon #tbz fanfic #tbz timestamps #tbz scenarios #tbz drabbles #tbz x reader #juyeon smut scenario

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deepspacedukat · 2 years

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The Only One - Part 4: Bajor’s Hand And An Urge

Obviously, this fic is an AU of some description, so don’t expect it to adhere too strictly to the plots of the episodes mentioned. I only did spoiler warnings because there are certain elements of those episodes that are included in this chapter. ALSO, this chapter is somewhere around 9300 words long, so um...be prepared for a long read. Part 4 is cross-posted to AO3 here.

Part 1 here. Part 2 here. Part 3 here. Part 5 here. Part 6 here.

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Weyoun 5 (ST:DS9) x Reader

[A/N: Spoilers for S3E1&2 “The Search” Parts 1&2, S3E21 “The Die Is Cast,” and S5E25 “In The Cards”. If you haven’t seen those episodes yet, you’ve been warned. Also there will be smut in future parts and there are some mentions of nsfw adjacent-ish things in this chapter, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Mostly feelings, angst, pining, Woun being an adorable Vorta muffin, instinct-driven pilgrimages, and some empathic bullshit that you’re just gonna have to deal with, because it makes me happy okay???? It’s my story, and it’ll give me pain and serotonin in turns if I want it to. *insert “It is law” gif here mentally cuz I’m too lazy to do it myself*

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About two and a half months later, I overheard a conversation between Captain Sisko and Major Kira detailing the impending arrival of a Dominion ship for the purpose of conducting diplomatic talks with Kai Winn. As I stood at my station in Ops, I felt a little thrill of hope. The Dominion had more than one Vorta, of course, but I couldn’t help but hope that maybe Weyoun would be assigned to this mission. My console chirped at me, and I saw an incoming transmission.

“I’m receiving a subspace transmission from a Dominion ship for you, Captain,” I called, and at his request, I redirected it to his office. Before I could do so much as begin to eavesdrop, Major Kira ordered Dax to send the Dominion ship to docking bay three. It was mere moments before Captain Sisko re-emerged and walked over to my station.

“I’d like you to join me at the airlock,” he said, and at my confused sounding ‘yes, sir’ he smiled. “You seem to have more of a tolerance for the Vorta than I do. It might be best if you’re there to smooth things over.”

“Yes, sir,” I acknowledged, and ignoring the buzz of anticipation that went through me at the possibility, I went to the turbolift with my C.O. The walk to the docking bay was both too long and too short all at the same time. Clasping my hands behind my back to hide how they were shaking, I stood at attention at one side as we reached the airlock door. I felt as nervous as a cadet on their first assignment. The door to the airlock began to roll open and I took a deep breath.

He was here. Weyoun was back! As he stepped through the doorway and caught sight of me, his polite smile previously directed at the Captain morphed into a real one. Surprise and elation flitted across his features as I couldn’t stop a smile from splitting my lips wide. He was here, he was really here! Even the two Jem’Hadar guards looming behind him couldn’t stifle my joy.

“Captain, Lieutenant, it is such a pleasure to see you both again,” he gushed taking one of my hands in his and bringing it to his lips with a dramatic flourish and a wink. My cheeks burned knowing that my commanding officer had witnessed the gesture, but after he’d seen us holding hands in Quark’s, I doubted he was surprised.

“I wish I could say the same,” Captain Sisko said sardonically, and Weyoun let out a small laugh.

“How delightful! You feel comfortable enough around me to make jokes. I’m so pleased to see our relationship evolving beyond the stale adversarial stage,” he said facing the Captain with a slightly more diplomatic smile.

“No, it’s not. But before you twist that into a compliment, let me be blunt. I don’t like the Dominion, I don’t like what it stands for, and I don’t like you,” Sisko said, and Weyoun’s smile fell slowly away. “So, let’s dispense with the hollow pleasantries and stick to business.”

“I can’t tell you how much it pains me to hear you say that, Captain. You see, I really like Deep Space Nine, I like you, and I’m quite fond of the Lieutenant here,” he said with a small smile directed my way. “After this meeting with Kai Winn, I think you and I will be seeing a lot more of each other.”

“Lieutenant, escort Weyoun to the conference room to await the Kai’s arrival,” the Captain said, completely ignoring the Vorta’s statement as he gestured down the corridor.

“If you’ll come with me, sir,” I said giving Weyoun a warm smile as I saw his eyes flick over to meet mine. As the two of us began to make our way there, I took a chance and linked my arm with Weyoun’s. He looked at me with delighted surprise. “For what it’s worth, I’m quite fond of you, too.”

“Believe me, my dear, it means a great deal to me,” the Vorta said as he waved his Jem’Hadar guards back a few feet to give us some privacy to speak without being overheard. “You look lovely as usual. I trust you’ve been treated well?”

“Of course I have. Deep Space Nine is my home,” I intoned with a slight huff of laughter. “What about you? How’ve you been?”

“Oh, quite well, my dear, though I...” he drew us both to a stop in a quiet alcove of an empty corridor and turned to face me. He seemed almost nervous as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “I must admit, I’ve felt the lack of your presence keenly over the time I’ve been away.”

There was something just beneath the surface as he spoke – something was begging to burst forth from his lips, yet he held it back, whatever it was. Perhaps it was the same thing I didn’t dare admit to myself.

“Being around you...steadies me,” he admitted, and that statement felt a bit closer to the truth. We’d both been dancing around it for so long, that forbidden feeling that had been building since the day we met. I’d felt drawn to Weyoun from the moment I laid eyes on him. What remained to be seen was whether that was just the Founder’s genetic programming or if there really was something more.

“I know exactly what you mean,” I answered in a weighted sort of voice. He was adept at reading me. I could only hope he could see what it was that I was trying to communicate beyond these oh-so-inadequate words. With a soft smile, Weyoun brushed a few strands of hair behind my ear, letting the pads of his fingers skim over its outer edge and sending a light shiver through me as my cheeks heated from the attention. It was such a little thing, that touch, but it felt as though electricity had surged through me at every point of contact. At the awkward shuffling of Jem’Hadar feet behind us, I let out a slightly nervous laugh and averted my gaze from Weyoun’s. “We shouldn’t be late for your visit with the Kai...”

“No, indeed,” he agreed with a mischievous little gleam in his eye. Surely he had known what he was doing to me? I was convinced of his attempt to fluster me even as he linked our arms once again and we resumed our trek to the conference room that had been assigned for the diplomatic talks. “Are you familiar with the Kai?”

“We’ve met once or twice before. She’s...” I trailed off searching for the right way to describe her while still remaining polite. “She’s determined and...let’s just say she’s...not my favorite person to be around if you catch my drift.”

“Oh my. She must have done something truly odious to have garnered such distaste from you of all people,” Weyoun murmured sounding slightly amused. “Any pointers?”

“Now now, you know the Federation has a non-interference policy,” I said in a mock-chastising tone. “I can’t give you any advantages, much as I might dislike the Kai.”

“Ah, yes. The ‘Prime Directive.’ I’d nearly forgotten about that. My apologies, I didn’t mean to ask for more than you’re at liberty to say,” he said with an amused smile. “At least answer me this: will I need earplugs?”

“Undoubtedly,” I remarked, to which Weyoun winced. Much sooner than I’d have liked, we reached the doors to the conference room. I thought he’d leave me there, but I was wrong.

“Guard the doors,” the Vorta called to the two Jem’Hadar, who dutifully took up their places as I was pulled inside the room in question. As soon as the doors hissed closed, Weyoun brought both my hands to his lips and looked at me with an expression that was so openly joyful it brought a tear to my eye. “Forgive my presumptuous behavior, but I refuse to see the Kai without a moment alone with you. I truly did miss you, my dear.”

“I missed you, too. Perhaps when the first round of talks is done we can get together for dinner? After all, I did promise to teach you kal-toh,” I suggested, and Weyoun’s smile split even wide – a feat I hadn’t imagined possible.

“That sounds wonderful!” He exclaimed as the doors slid open to reveal the Kai. Seeing our position, she raised an eyebrow and gave me a blatantly false smile, even as Weyoun kept talking. “As soon as we conclude for the night, I’ll come to your quarters.”

I was torn between happiness at getting to see more of the Vorta and mortified at what Kai Winn must think given her lack of context. On the one hand, she might see this as sleeping with the enemy, but on the other, I couldn’t quite see why it should even matter in the first place. So what if a Bajoran spiritual leader read further into a conversation than she should? I knew the truth.

“Goodness, child. You keep some...exotic company,” she said in her usual poisonously, falsely pleasant tone. She reminded me of a passive-aggressive nun for what was definitely not the first time. “You may leave now.”

The annoyance that flitted over Weyoun’s features was quickly masked by a too-polite-to-be-real smile. I gave him a small nod and made my way to the door.

“Aren’t you forgetting something, child?” I paused at the sound of Winn’s voice and turned slightly toward her with a curious raise of an eyebrow. “You seem to have mislaid your loyalty and self-respect.”

Not wanting to create a diplomatic incident, I laughed like she’d made a mildly-amusing joke.

“Very good, Your Imminence. You had me going for a moment,” I said before exiting the room with my head held high. For a split second, I wondered how out-of-commission I’d be if I were ever to tell Kai Winn what I actually thought of her. No, she wasn’t worth the trouble I’d be in. I could only hope I’d be able to avoid her for the remainder of her stay on the station.

Several hours later when I covered a sick officer’s shift, I could have cried. Reluctantly, I’d made sure to send a note to Weyoun to let him know I couldn’t make our dinner engagement, but it pained me to have to cancel our plans. Of all the days for somebody to catch the Thelusian flu, it just had to be when Weyoun was finally back on the station, didn’t it? If I tapped away at my console in Ops a little more vigorously than was required, surely that wasn’t my fault. First Kai Winn’s remarks, and now this emergency late shift. Anyone would be frustrated in my position...right?

“Everything alright, Lieutenant?” O’Brien called with an amused, pointed glance between my console and myself.

“Yes, sir. I had a conversation with Kai Winn earlier, that’s all.” I may have conveniently left out the bit about Weyoun and dinner, but he didn’t need to know about that. A bark of sympathetic laughter came from the Chief Engineer as he moved toward a panel he needed to service.

“Ah, lemme guess: she decided something yeh said or did was fer the common folk and turned her nose up, right?” At my nod of confirmation, he shook his head. “Don’t let it get teh yeh. She’d judge even a Vedek as pond scum if it suited her fancy. She’s not worth yer energy. She’ll come off her high horse eventually.”

“Thanks, Chief. I’ll keep that in mind,” I replied with a smile. The jovial Irishman always did know what to say to cheer me up. We’d been working for barely a few minutes more when the lift arrived carrying Odo, who was holding a small bouquet of purple and white flowers arranged in a blue vase. As I watched curiously, Odo strode right over to my station looking slightly...well, if he was human I’d say he looked constipated.

“Lieutenant, I just caught one of the Jem’Hadar trying to access the lift to Ops. He told me he was ordered by Weyoun to bring these to you,” the Changeling said as he set the vase on the console in front of me and handed me a PADD. “I took the liberty of conducting a few scans to make sure the flowers weren’t harmful to humanoids, but...I think we both know the Vorta wouldn’t harm you any more than he would me.”

Curiously, I opened the note on the data PADD.

“My Dear Lieutenant - I’m sorry to hear about your extended shift, but perhaps you’d be open to meeting me for breakfast instead? I’d be delighted to be your host for a change. Should you decide to accept, I’ll have one of my Jem’Hadar waiting to escort you to our ship at 0900. In the meantime, I hope this floral arrangement will brighten the mood of your station while you work, and later, your quarters. I hope to see you in the morning. - Weyoun”

A small smile wound across my mouth at the Vorta’s note, and I absentmindedly thanked Odo for bringing the flowers and note. With a polite nod, the Changeling made his way back to the lift.

“Weyoun sent that to you?” The Chief asked as he made his way over to my station. “Looks like he asked Garak for some advice. That’s the same arrangement I gave to Keiko a couple of weeks before she went to Bajor for her ecological study.”

The thought that he’d cared enough to seek advice from the tailor made something in me go all mushy. After all, I was the one who canceled on him. He didn’t need to go to all this trouble just to make me smile. And yet...he had.

I decided right then and there that I’d make it to breakfast with him if it was the last thing I did.

True to Weyoun’s word, there was a Jem’Hadar soldier waiting stalwartly outside the door to my quarters at a few minutes to nine in the morning.

“I am First, Founder. Come with me,” he said giving me a respectful nod of his head. I joined him with a quiet ‘thank you’ and we made our way to the docking ring. “Did your delivery from the Vorta arrive safely?”

“Yes, it did. Thank you. I wasn’t told who it was that tried to deliver it to me, but please pass on my gratitude to whichever of your men was kind enough to make the attempt,” I said with a smile, but the man remained as stoic as ever.

“Kindness had nothing to do with it. Obedience brings victory,” he intoned. “And victory is life.”

He reminded me so strongly of Omet’iklan that I felt a small pulse of protectiveness over Weyoun as he spoke. If this First was planning to do what Omet’iklan had done, I wasn’t about to let it happen without a fight. As the airlock doors slid open, the Jem’Hadar led me through the ship to a closed door. Pressing the chime, the soldier took his place guarding the hall.

Almost as soon as the chime ended, the door slid open to reveal Weyoun looking anxious. His lips broke into a wide, surprised smile as soon as he recognized me.

“Good morning, my dear! I thought for a moment that you might not come,” he said sounding a bit sheepish. “Come in, come in!”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t jump at the chance to see you again?” I asked with a playful smile as I stepped into the room. Allowing my eyes to travel the space, I saw that it was all rather spartan. I supposed that was only natural given who Weyoun worked for. It wouldn’t be very on par for the Founders to allow their minions any luxuries. These were clearly his quarters, though. I could see a bed through a small doorway to the side of the space, and for a moment, I allowed myself to indulge in imagining what it would be like to wake up in bed surrounded by the Vorta’s scent...

“Is everything alright, Lieutenant?” The question from my side brought me out of my thoughts and back to reality. Now I just had to make sure he didn’t find out what I’d just been imagining.

“Yes. Yeah, everything is fine. Your quarters are lovely,” I answered, and the Vorta gave me a rather knowing smile.

“Thank you, my dear, but as I’m sure you’ve noticed, there aren’t any personal items. Your space is much more welcoming, if I may be so bold,” Weyoun said offering me his hand. Without so much as a thought, I laid my own in his gasp, barely blinking as he drew me closer to him. “It’s such a pleasure to have you here this morning. You were entirely correct about Kai Winn, by the way. By the time we finished last night all I could think of was...”

He trailed off with a nervous laugh, and I looked at him curiously.

“All you could think of was...?” I asked, quietly trying to encourage him to continue. Eventually, he did in a low, hesitant voice as he refused to meet my gaze.

“All I could think of...was how much I wished I could be in your company instead. I wished so desperately that I could hear your laughter to wipe away the sound of her irritating voice,” he admitted softly before something more determined washed over his expression. “And I...well, I wasn’t exactly trying to despise her, but after her remarks to you I couldn’t help it.”

“Don’t worry about that. She’s never been the most polite person,” I said trying to soothe his ire. “You, however, are incredibly kind. The flowers you sent me are gorgeous. You really didn’t have to go to all that trouble.”

“‘Trouble’? Oh no, my dear, that was a pleasure,” Weyoun said before leading me to a small table. “But, that aside, do please catch me up. How’ve you been? I feel as though I’ve missed out on so much already, and I don’t want to waste another moment.”

“Only if you’ll do the same for me,” I bargained, and he acquiesced with a playful little smile. The next few hours were spent swapping stories between the two of us. There was always the hidden danger that we could influence each other or give away diplomatic secrets, but there was an unspoken agreement that floated between us. Neither of us asked questions beyond the personal. It was no secret that he was a Dominion Ambassador, just as it was public knowledge that I was a Starfleet officer. Neither of us insulted the other by questioning our respective loyalties to our own sides, for which I was immensely grateful.

By the time Weyoun needed to make his way to the conference room once more, his fingers had been laced firmly with mine for the better part of an hour with no sign of separation imminent. Before I realized what was happening, I found myself escorting him to his destination, walking hand-in-hand with him through the various station corridors while we continued our conversation. Things were lighter now - easier, somehow - a fact that surprised me, as there had never been any tension between us to start with. At least, none of the unpleasant sort. And yet...it felt as though some invisible weight had been lifted, giving way for more natural interactions. Not that our interactions were unnatural or forced before – Weyoun had always made me feel extremely comfortable in conversation. Now, though, talking with him felt as easy as breathing. Inhale, exhale...question, answer.

As the door to the conference room slid open to reveal the already-seated Kai, Weyoun turned to me and brought my hands to his lips with a glint of defiance flashing in his eyes.

“Thank you for joining me this morning. There is no greater pleasure in the galaxy than that of your company,” he said just loud enough that I was certain beyond the shadow of a doubt that Winn had heard him. Turning to face her with his hands still firmly holding mine, Weyoun fixed her with one of those piercing looks I’d become so accustomed to. “Doesn’t the Lieutenant look lovely, Your Imminence? And to think, I was the one she chose to spend her morning with.”

“She does, indeed.” The Kai answered, and I realized what the Vorta was doing. He was making this into a diplomatic issue. She could either agree with his assessment or risk an incident between Bajor and the Dominion. “Though I must admit, I find myself rather confused, child. I was under the impression that the Federation was to remain neutral as this is a purely internal affair between Bajor and the Dominion.”

“Oh, we are. I was just having breakfast with an old friend,” I said squeezing Weyoun’s hands softly. “I should be going.”

“Of course, child. You may leave now,” the Kai said, and something akin to anger simmered in Weyoun’s countenance under just enough of a mask that she wouldn’t see. I knew him well enough to recognize it. Placing a hand gently on Weyoun’s chest, I murmured a quiet ‘thank you for breakfast’ before making my way out. I only hoped that Weyoun wouldn’t let her get under his skin – the opposite of what a good Federation officer should be thinking, but then...I wasn’t exactly the best example of a Federation officer.

After all, what good person ever harbored affection for the enemy?

Hours after the negotiations had resumed, I received a summons from Odo about a security matter, so I made my way through the hustle and bustle of the Promenade toward the Changeling’s office.

“Good afternoon, Constable. What was it you wanted to see me ab–” As I saw one of the displays on the wall near his desk, I froze as though I was a holoprogram that had been paused. On the monitor was a map of some sort of nebula, but not one that I’d seen before. My breath caught in my throat and I felt as though I was being pulled toward the monitor like a puppet on a string. “What is that?”

“Hm? Oh, that is the Omarion Nebula,” Odo answered in his usual gruff tone, but his chair swiveled quickly toward me when he noticed that all I could seem to do was stare at the computer’s display, motionless and silent as if transfixed. “Lieutenant...what are you feeling right now?”

“I...I don’t know. This...it’s strange. It’s as if...as if I...Odo, can you take me there?” I asked breathlessly, desperately, even though I had no idea why I’d even want to go there in the first place. It was as though some long-buried instinct was beginning to scratch away at my will and scream at me to begin the journey without delay. My life seemingly depended on it - of course in reality it didn’t, so why did I feel that way? This was just a star chart. Why would an image on a monitor make me feel an almost crippling urge to go to...wherever the hell the Omarion Nebula was?

“You feel it calling to you, don’t you?” He asked quietly, and without conscious thought, I nodded my head unable to tear my eyes away from the screen. “I was afraid you’d say that. Come with me, Lieutenant.”

“Are you taking me to the nebula?” I asked feeling hope bubbling up in my chest as Odo’s hand took up residence on my back and he guided me out of his office toward a turbolift.

“Perhaps later. First, we need to see Captain Sisko. Urgently,” he said before calling for the lift to take us to Ops.

“No, Odo, you don’t understand. I need to go to the Omarion Nebula. Now, not later,” I said, and he turned me gently to face him with his hands grasping my shoulders.

“I understand much better than you think. Trust me like you always do, Lieutenant. I promise I’ll explain everything when we get to the Captain’s office,” he murmured looking into my eyes. Despite the growing, overpowering feeling that I needed to leave now - now, nownow, right now, not later, NOW - I took a slow, steadying breath and nodded my head. “Everything will be alright.”

“I’ve been what?” I asked feeling stunned and violated as indignance flooded my voice. Even as my arms wrapped protectively around my middle, Odo placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“They did it to me too. All Changeling offspring are programmed with an instinct to return home. Mine was triggered when we were on the Defiant years ago. I caught a glimpse of the Omarion Nebula on a computer layout, as you just did, and the instinct to return home overruled any of my other thoughts and feelings. It even beat out my sense of duty,” Odo explained, and that certainly made sense. This...urge felt as though it was simply scraping away my free will, extracting it and replacing it with the almost frantic need to get in a runabout and go. “If the information I gathered from the Female Changeling during my own visit is anything to go by, then the only way to stop this sort of homing beacon is to return to the Changelings’ home planet.”

“She can’t do that. The Jem’Hadar would never allow her into Dominion territory. No Federation ship, shuttle, or runabout would survive the trip, especially after the incident involving the Tal Shiar and Tain,” the Captain stated, and I had a thought - a crazy thought, but one that just might work.

“Sir, what about Weyoun? He’s on the station conducting negotiations with Kai Winn. He views me as the child of his gods, so maybe I could convince him to take me there. After all, he came in a Dominion vessel,” I suggested, and the Captain raised an eyebrow.

“And what makes you think he wouldn’t betray you?”

“Captain, he has made it clear to me that he would take orders from me just as he would from any of the other Changelings. He wouldn’t betray me - that would be like betraying one of his gods.” I hated my reasoning, but I knew it was correct. Odo made a grunt of agreement next to me.

“She’s right. I’ve seen the way he treats her. He’ll help if she asks him to,” Odo said, and the Captain sighed heavily before tapping his combadge.

“Sisko to Weyoun,” he called, and when the Vorta answered he hesitated only a moment before giving his order. “I need you in my office. Immediately.”

“Of course, Captain. I’m on my way now,” he answered, and I took a shaky, nervous breath as I met the Captain’s eyes.

“Sir, I-I’m sorry. I know this isn’t exactly convenient–” I started, but he held up a hand to silence me.

“This situation isn’t your fault. You never asked for the Founders to program you. My only concern right now is for the safety and well-being of the officers under my command, and that includes you, Lieutenant,” he said giving me a small, fatherly smile. We hadn’t been waiting for long when the office door slid open with a hiss. I already felt ashamed that I’d caused such a dilemma that I couldn’t bring myself to face Weyoun and his gaze that always seemed to know too much about how I was feeling.

“Are you well, Lieutenant?” The Vorta asked standing beside the chair I was seated in. Hesitantly, I glanced up only to find Weyoun’s eyes already fixed on me and an expression of concern woven across his features. I felt heat rise to my cheeks as I looked quickly away, gathering my thoughts and trying to figure out how to approach the question I needed to ask. One of Weyoun’s hands rested carefully on my shoulder, and my mind jolted into clarity for a moment.

That was odd. At least I could think a little more coherently for the time being.

“I need your help, Weyoun,” I answered quietly, and as I looked back up at him, he gave me a reassuring smile.

“You need only name how I may assist you, and I will make it happen,” he answered, and Odo spoke up, sparing me the embarrassment of explaining the situation myself.

“I’ll be brief. The Founders encode their offspring with a sort of homing instinct. Mine was triggered years ago, and until a few minutes ago, I wasn’t sure if the Lieutenant would have the same reaction. She is half-human, after all,” Odo said gruffly. “In short, she does and the only way to silence it is to bring her to the Founders’ home planet. We can’t bring her there in any of our Federation vessels.”

“I thought that...maybe you could help,” I muttered looking up at him. “I know you have your orders and that you need to conduct your negotiations with Kai Winn, but...you came here in a Dominion ship...”

Weyoun smiled widely as he caught my meaning.

“You wish me to bring you home?” He asked, and I placed my hand over his where it still rested on my shoulder.

“Sort of? I need to get there to shut off this homing instinct, but I also need to come back here to Deep Space Nine,” I clarified, and Weyoun positively glowed despite my added condition.

“Your wish is my command! I’ll have my ship prepared immediately. Negotiations with the Kai are paused due to her need to consult with the Bajoran Ministers, so we’ll have ample time for the trip,” he said, and the Captain cleared his throat.

“I want your word that you will conduct my officer there and back again safely,” Sisko stated in a tone that brooked no argument.

“You have my word, Captain. I would never allow any harm to come to her,” Weyoun promised, but that wasn’t quite good enough for the Captain who stood and moved directly in front of the Vorta.

“If she ordered you to bring her back to Deep Space Nine without having reached the planet, would you do it?” He pressed, and Weyoun looked at him quizzically.

“Of course. She is a Founder, even if only by half. I’m sworn to obey the Founders in all things. She will be in command of the ship, not I,” he clarified, and I felt my eyes widen. “Any orders she gives will be carried out, you have my word.”

“They’d better be,” Odo growled. “If you or any of your men let her get hurt, I promise that you’ll wish you’d never lived to be cloned.”

Weyoun gave a deferential half-bow to the Security Chief.

“She will have safe passage and be treated as nothing less than royalty. I swear on my life she will not be harmed,” he said before turning to me. “I’ll have my men prepare the ship. We should be ready for departure in less than an hour. We’ll be away from the station for a few days, so if there’s anything you need to pack, I’d suggest you do so, my dear.”

“I will. Thank you,” I answered feeling somewhere between anxious, excited, giddy, and absolutely terrified. As soon as his hand left my shoulder, my thoughts began to race again - that was something I’d definitely have to look into while we were traveling. Odo walked up to me and looked into my eyes when the Vorta had left.

“Be careful, Lieutenant. Keep our training in mind,” he ordered, and I gave him a quick ‘yes, sir’ before thanking the Captain and leaving his office to get packed. What the hell was a person supposed to pack for an instinct-driven trip into a hostile part of the galaxy, anyway?

As I stepped through the airlock with a small bag slung across my shoulder, Weyoun was there to meet me.

“Welcome aboard, my dear,” he said with a wide smile. He gestured to one of the Jem’Hadar. “Take the Founder’s bag to her quarters.”

In the interval since we’d last spoken, I felt just that much closer to insanity. What the hell sort of sadistic homing urge was this? I felt as though I could barely think beyond the need to get to the nebula. I barely heard any of the introductions to the Jem’Hadar soldiers despite my attempts to focus. Weyoun escorted me to the bridge of the ship where the Jem’Hadar stood to attention when they saw me - as any Starfleet crew would if an Admiral were to come aboard. I supposed I would have to go along with this if I was going to survive the journey. Giving the order to depart the station, I felt a brief surge of what it must be like for Captain Sisko to be in command of the Defiant. Did he feel the same anticipation at the start of a journey, or was that something else unique to this Founders-be-damned homing instinct?

After passing through the wormhole without incident and ordering the course to the Omarion Nebula, I stayed at my post in the Captain’s chair for several hours, trying to keep my mind occupied with the task at hand: reaching the nebula and commanding a starship for the first time. All things considered, I really should have been more nervous than I was. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that all I could seem to focus on was reaching the Changelings’ planet.

Several hours into the trip, Weyoun cleared his throat beside me.

“Lieutenant, may I have a word in private?” He asked, and I agreed readily.

“You have the bridge, First,” I ordered, and at the soldier’s salute, I walked with Weyoun into the Dominion ship’s equivalent of a Captain’s ready room. As soon as the doors hissed closed, Weyoun took hold of my hands. My breath shuddered a bit at the clarity that washed over me when his skin made contact with mine. There had to be some sort of biological connection that the Changelings encoded between themselves and the Vorta that was making me react this way.

Concern flowed over me and through me – at me? – and I saw my own confusion mirrored in Weyoun’s eyes.

“Did you feel that?” He asked quietly, and I nodded my head hesitantly. “Perhaps the genetic coding that causes this homing instinct is reacting differently because of your human half. Can you...feel others as well?”

“No...No, just you,” I answered trying to gather my fragmented thoughts. “There’s something else as well. When...Each time that you are in physical contact with me, my mind goes quiet.”

Weyoun tilted his head in confusion, and I tried to explain the best that I could.

“It feels as though my brain is full of subspace interference and you cut through it all. For some reason, you’re helping me focus,” I murmured as my cheeks heated in embarrassment. Surely now he would think I was insane if he hadn’t before.

“How intriguing,” he breathed, and I felt several positive emotions swirling together from him. “This must be some sort of imprinting mechanism. Perhaps the Founders realized that their offspring might need some assistance. A connection like this would certainly help any Vorta in their company understand their needs more clearly.”

Odo hadn’t mentioned any of this from his own trip, but then, he hadn’t been anywhere near a Vorta at the time. Oh shit, how much could Weyoun feel from me, if I could sense his emotions?

I had my answer a mere moment later when Weyoun drew me into his arms and kissed my forehead so fucking gently.

“You have nothing to fear. You’re safe with me.” His promise struck a chord, and I found myself nodding my head silently in his embrace. “It has been a long day. Perhaps I should escort you to your quarters so you can rest?”

That...actually sounded heavenly. I agreed quietly, and with Weyoun’s hand on my lower back, we exited the ready room and gave a few final orders to the Jem’Hadar before heading to the turbolift. Within moments we were arriving outside a set of quarters that I noted was directly next door to the ones Weyoun occupied. When the Vorta made to leave me in peace, I was ashamed at how much anxiety washed over me. I couldn’t stop myself from clasping his hands in mine.

“W-Would...? I mean, you’re probably busy or have better things to do, but...could...you maybe stay? Just for a bit?” I hated how shaky my voice was, but to my surprise, Weyoun just smiled, opened the door to my quarters, and walked inside with me as if I hadn’t just sounded completely pathetic. If he still viewed me as the child of his gods, there was no doubt in my mind that he was seeing more clearly how limited of a being I was for the supposed half-deity he thought I was.

Without a word spoken between the two of us, we walked to the bedroom and laid down together, our shoes having been discarded somewhere between the door and the bed. Weyoun’s asymmetrical vest had also been removed revealing the soft shirt he wore beneath it, and as I took my place in bed beside him, I hesitated. I’d thought about falling asleep in his arms so many times, but was that something he’d be comfortable with? Sensing my reluctance, the Vorta gave me a warm smile and opened his arms.

“It’s alright,” he murmured gently. “I don’t bite, I promise.”

An image I really should not have thought about went through my mind of his teeth worrying a sensitive spot on my neck. I shook it away and carefully laid down in his arms.

“There we are,” he practically purred, and I felt a little shiver of delight run up my spine at the feeling of him surrounding me. A quiet hum came from my lips, and Weyoun’s lips pressed softly against my forehead. “I quite enjoy this as well. I must admit...I’ve imagined this before, but those thoughts pale in comparison to the real thing.”

I’d have to unpack that statement when I wasn’t being pulled slowly into unconsciousness by the steady sound of Weyoun’s heartbeat. Before I allowed myself to fall asleep, however, I nuzzled drowsily into the crook of the Vorta’s neck and pressed a slow, soft kiss into the spot just above his thrumming pulse.

“Thank you,” I breathed just millimeters away from his skin, but from the way his breath hitched, I knew he’d heard me.

The next morning, I was awakened by a summons from the Jem’Hadar First stating that we’d be arriving at the Changelings’ planet in a few minutes. As I blinked slowly awake and acknowledged the information, I was stunned to find that Weyoun was still in bed with me. I’d thought he’d have left not long after I fell asleep, but...he’d stayed. As he awakened as well, his eyes drifted to his arms to take in the sight of me where I lay. A soft smile played across his lips and mine, and after a moment’s pause we reluctantly got out of bed to get dressed.

The instant we reached the bridge, the Jem’Hadar reported that we were in orbit around the planet. Consulting a scan of the surface, I gave the coordinates for a beam in site.

“I shall accompany you to the surface,” Weyoun said placing a hand on my lower back as he guided me to the transporter room. As I gave the order to beam us down, it felt as though things were moving too quickly. There were so many questions running rampant through my mind, but as we re-materialized on the planet’s surface, I felt a breath escape me that I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. The insanity-inducing itch in my brain faded, leaving me with curiosity and a little apprehension.

Standing on a rock formation in the planet’s dim light, Weyoun and I quietly surveyed our surroundings. There was a small landmass that we were standing on, but beyond that, there was only a vast, still-looking ocean. Something about it seemed...odd. What looked like a wave moved in slow motion before separating from the rest of the liquid and forming the shape of a woman on the edge of the shore.

She looked very similar to Odo as she glanced between myself and Weyoun.

“You have dared to bring a human to our world, Vorta?” She asked sounding sufficiently intimidating. Weyoun gave a bow and stammered out a response.

“Founder, she is not just a human. She is half-Changeling. She is Meris’s child,” he explained, but the Changeling didn’t seem impressed.

“Meris’s child? You thought it wise to bring the one who shouldn’t exist here?” Her words froze the blood in my veins. Through the connection that had been formed between Weyoun and me, I could feel fear more intense than he’d ever shown before - fear that spoke volumes about how the Changelings had treated him. “You will pay for your lack of judgment with your life.”

“No, he won’t,” I called moving in between Weyoun and the Changeling so she couldn’t get to him. “Weyoun brought me here because of a homing instinct that you or one of your people programmed me with. He has done nothing wrong, and you will not touch him.”

The Female Changeling tilted her head curiously at my show of protectiveness.

“You would risk your life...for a Vorta?” She sounded as though the mere idea was unthinkable to her.

“I would and I will a thousand times over if you continue to threaten his safety. From what I’ve heard, no Changeling has ever harmed another, but if you want to get to him, you’ll have to do a hell of a lot more than just harm me. Weyoun is under my protection,” I said as I put some of Odo’s training to use and shaped my forearms into sharp lengths that resembled swords. The Female Changeling continued to stare at me impassively for a moment before nodding her head.

“Very well. He will not be harmed.” The ocean behind her rippled, whether from discontent at her decision or agreement, I couldn’t quite tell.

“I want your word and the word of every Changeling here that Weyoun will not be punished for this now or ever. He was following orders - my orders. Given that I’m half-Changeling, he was sworn to obey even me in all things. He was only doing what you programmed him to do. I don’t want him punished for that whether I’m around to protect him or not. Is that understood?”

“I give you my word, as do all the other Changelings. As of this moment, he is forgiven,” I chafed at her choice of words, but at least the meaning was clear. “However, we want something in return.”

“And that is?”

“We desire your word that no matter the circumstance, you will never return to this planet once you have departed,” she intoned as if she was asking for something as simple as a replicated meal. I felt Weyoun’s hand rest gently on my shoulder.

“No! I’m not worth such a promise–” He began, but there was no changing my mind. This wasn’t even a choice. If a single promise protected Weyoun and kept me from having to interact with murderers, then I was happy to make it.

“You have my word,” I promised, and I heard the Vorta behind me draw a sharp intake of breath. I let my arms return to normal. “Before I leave, tell me one thing. Are you aware of how much damage you’ve caused?”

“‘Damage’? We’ve done nothing more than impose order where there was none, half-breed, but I wouldn’t expect you to understand. After all, you are the one tarnishing what our species stands for with your human DNA,” the Changeling said in an imperious tone. “You know, the Vorta was correct. He was not worth such a promise. Now leave us. Your homing instinct is sated and you’ve polluted our shores long enough as it is. Give our regards to Odo.”

Without another word, she turned and walked to the edge of the rock she’d been standing on before reverting to her liquid state to rejoin the vast ocean that was the Great Link. Quietly, I turned to face Weyoun who was wearing a stricken expression on his face. Activating his communication device, I spoke as steadily as I could manage.

“Two to beam up. Energize when ready.”

When we re-materialized on the transporter pad of the Dominion ship, I gave orders to set a course back toward the wormhole to the Alpha Quadrant, and escorted my very shaken Vorta companion back to the quarters we’d shared the night before. The stars outside the windows began to move and blur as we went to warp, but I paid no attention. Weyoun was my main focus. As soon as the doors slid closed behind us, he dropped to his knees in front of me and clutched at my legs as tears began cascading down his cheeks.

“I-I’m so sorry, Founder,” he stuttered in a voice heavy with emotion, and he looked up at me as if he truly was pleading with a god. “This is all my fault–”

I held his hands and dropped to my knees to pull him into my arms. The Changelings were evil. They’d caused so much death and destruction. They’d oppressed whole worlds and traumatized so many people in their quest for power - for order as the Female Changeling had said to me - including Weyoun. Weyoun, who was now beside himself, not because of something he’d done, but because of what the Changeling had implied about my choice.

“No, Weyoun, it’s not. You haven’t done anything wrong,” I promised, but the Vorta shook his head.

“It is! It is, if you hadn’t needed to protect me, you wouldn’t have been asked not to return! You’d still have your family,” he protested, but kissed his forehead tenderly and looked directly into his watery eyes.

“Weyoun, listen to me. You did everything I asked of you and more. You haven’t done anything wrong, I promise you. They would have asked me to leave whether you were there or not,” I said, and his hands clutched desperately at my thighs. “The Changeling was wrong. I would make that promise over and over again in a heartbeat if it meant your safety.”

“Why?” His question was so sudden and filled with stunned confusion.

“Can’t you tell?” I asked quietly, looking into his eyes. Something unspoken passed between us as those wide, violet irises cast gently, hesitantly over the most vulnerable parts of my soul. His eyes dropped to my mouth for a brief moment, and all at once my desire to close the gap between us as I’d imagined countless times was heightened - doubled, perhaps? In the back of my mind, it occurred to me that whatever the connection was that Changeling’s homing instinct had created between us hadn’t been broken, at least not completely. This wasn’t just me, not entirely anyway. Some slight amount of surprise must have registered on my face because Weyoun’s brow furrowed slightly.

“Is something wrong?” He asked nervously, and I shook my head.

“No, but I...I think I can still...feel you,” I murmured, and the Vorta looked startled at the prospect. His cheeks went a beautiful shade of lavender, and he lowered his eyes as if in shame.

“I-I sincerely apologize. If I’d known you could still...I-I mean I wouldn’t have–” he broke off abruptly when I reached for him and cupped his cheeks softly in my palms. The fear in his eyes when I finally coaxed him into looking at me again nearly broke my heart on the spot. His voice came out as a shaky whisper that could’ve been carried away by a light breeze. “I’m sorry. I-I’m so sorry.”

“Weyoun, you have no reason to apologize. If I can still feel you, then I assume you’re still able to feel me?” I asked quietly, and he nodded his head hesitantly.

“Y-Yes, but I swear to you, I’m not actively trying to pry. It’s none of my business what you feel. I could never be worthy of the knowledge,” he answered hurriedly as if I was angry with him – as if I ever could be. With a gentle smile, I let my thumbs skim over his cheeks.

“But you are,” I replied just as quickly in an attempt to dispel the Founder’s lies and conditioning. “Trust me, Weyoun.”

“I do–”

“Then reach out and feel what I’m feeling. Please,” I murmured bringing one of his hands so gently to my lips. At the brush of skin on skin, I felt a burst of pleasure from Weyoun and a hesitant desire for more. As my eyes met his once more, I saw - and felt - surprise wash over him the moment he took my advice and reached out through that odd connection we shared. I knew what he’d find. I may have tried to hide it from myself for a long while, but there was no use denying it when the person you’d harbored a secret affection for was literally sifting through your feelings as easily as picking through a salad. Heat rose to my cheeks even as I gave my companion a sheepish smile.

“You’re not angry with me...” he stated in a tone that all at once conveyed relief, confusion, and surprise. How could he imagine I’d be upset with him? He’d done so much for me and never asked anything in return. What reason would I possibly have for being angry? His voice was hushed when he continued. “But...But that’s impossible. You can’t seriously feel the same way I feel about you...can you?”

Not trusting my voice, I nodded my head and watched in astonishment as the last of his tears trickled down his cheek. Acting entirely on impulse now, I leaned in and delicately kissed it away, pulling a whimper from his chest as his hands came up and grasped my arms.

Precious, gentle man.

“Please...” The supplication tumbled from his lips laced with desperation, but I had to be sure. I had to be sure that what he was feeling wasn’t just a sympathetic reflection of what I was feeling. He deserved that much respect.

“Are you sure that this is what you want?” I asked looking into his eyes. Weyoun wetted his lips with a dart of his tongue and spoke through a shaky breath.

“Reach out and feel what I’m feeling, my dear. Please,” he begged using my own words from earlier. I did as he asked, and the wave of emotion that washed over me was overwhelming. So many feelings overlapped and melded into one another that my hands started trembling – lining every bit of it was sincerity.

And at the heart of it all was a love so powerful it took my breath away.

How was he holding so much inside of himself? I was acutely aware of the unadulterated wonder that was no doubt plastered on my face as he spoke once more.

“You see them now, don’t you? All of the things I don’t have the words for...” I did. The argument that this was all due to the genetic coding that the Founders had placed inside him was losing strength by the minute, but there was still a part of me that wondered...

But Weyoun seemed so certain about what he was feeling. He seemed sure that this was real, and yet...I didn’t want to be a regret. I’d have to approach this slowly. It was of paramount importance that I give him every chance to back out should he change his mind–

While those thoughts had been swirling around in my mind as a chaotic cloud of doubt and analysis, Weyoun, or I, or perhaps even both of us had moved closer as if pulled by a magnet. His breath was my breath was his breath until suddenly his lips brushed mine timidly, shattering any coherent thoughts left in my mind like glass over a concrete slab. Pressing my lips more solidly against his, the both of us melted – or did we combust? One of Weyoun’s hands slid to my waist while the other wound its way up into my hair. A quiet, desperate little whine came from between his lips – or had it come from me?

Locking lips with my Vorta on the floor of our quarters in the middle of the Gamma Quadrant certainly wasn’t where I’d seen this trip heading when we’d departed the station, but I wasn’t about to start complaining. ‘My Vorta’? When had I started thinking like that? At the feeling of his hands coaxing me ever closer and his tongue tracing the seam of my lips, I ceased thinking altogether.

All too soon, we were forced to break apart for air, and taking advantage of that, I stood and helped Weyoun up. At his slightly dazed, curious expression, I caught his hands in mine and led him into the bedroom.

“I think the Jem’Hadar can manage without us for a while, don’t you?” I asked coaxing him into sitting with me on the bed. We obviously needed to talk this through at least partially. This was a big shift that needed addressing. “Weyoun...I want to know what you want.”

“...Well, I’d like to kiss you again,” he said in the most innocently eager tone I’d heard since he asked me to teach him dabo. With an amused giggle, I clarified what I meant.

“You’ll be able to, I promise, but I mean what do you want to come of this...change between us?” I asked, and he hummed in comprehension.

“Ah, I see. No Weyoun since the original has been in a romantic relationship, so I’m afraid I have no more than his memories to guide me. As for personal desires, I’m quite open to wherever this takes us,” he said sounding more clear-headed than he had since before we beamed down to the planet. “I suppose whatever is the most natural progression in a situation like this is what I’d like, but only if you want that too.”

“Why don’t we take it slow and see where we end up?” I suggested, and the Vorta nodded his head in agreement. The rest of our journey was spent alternating between idle bits of conversation, enjoying our closeness, and reacquainting ourselves with each other’s lips.

Upon our arrival back at Deep Space Nine, Weyoun seemed much more like his normal self - with the added bonus of a new cuddly streak. He even escorted me back to my quarters via the Promenade while holding my hand. Those small gestures held a new meaning for us, and they were worth the scowl on the Kai’s face from her spot on the upper level. After a brief meeting between Weyoun and a scientist called Giger, the Vorta gave me a gentle parting kiss and made me promise to be safe until his return. Having successfully extracted the same promise from him, we parted ways once more – a practice that was becoming rather tiresome. If only he could come live on the station permanently. Then I could kiss away all his troubles.

#weyoun 5 #weyoun 5 x reader #weyoun x reader #deepspacedukat fic #emotions #pain #fluff #angst but then it's kinda better and fine #spoilers for In The Cards #spoilers for The Search Pts 1&2 #made up empathic/telepathic bullshit #this is my world and THOU SHALT SUFFER WITH ME PEASANTS #spoilers for The Die Is Cast #NOW KISS

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mgsapphire · 3 years

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My K-drama recommendation master list part 1

I've recently found that people who just got into k-dramas don't know where to start, and more often than not, feel overwhelmed by all the content.

Before I give my recommendations, I'm going to say where I watch my k-dramas and how I watch them (and legality of it)

My main source of content are Netflix and Viki (VPNs may come in handy). In Viki, there are some shows available for free with ads, but they have different plans. I have the highest plan (by volunteering) and in Netflix, well, there is a category for k-dramas.

Now, I won't talk about cdramas in this post, but I will talk about other sites I use to watch content, and well, most of them are for cdramas.

Qiyi (I used it for a while, but you're not missing much without it)

YouTube (you can watch cdramas and Thai dramas legally and completely free as studios upload them to their YouTube channel)

Dramacool (now, this one I use sparingly and for watching a variety show mostly, as it's not legal, but it's free and safe. THIS IS A LAST RESORT, ALWAYS TRY TO SUPPORT THE CONTENT)

Moving on to what you actually came here for, my kdrama recommendations, according to themes and genres.

If you're an absolute beginner, here are my recs (and they don't include boys over flowers)

The Legend of the Blue Sea (2016) It has Lee Min Ho and Jun Ji Hyun as the main leads, it's 20 episodes long with an special, most episodes lasting less than an hour. It's a modern fantasy romantic comedy. On a personal note, it's probably my most rewatched k-drama. Available in Viki with no membership needed.

Kiss Goblin (2020) This one is a short web drama, following the theme of modern fantasy romance. While the quality of production might not be as great as other dramas listed here, this is one of the most wholesome k-dramas you will see. It's 12 episodes long, each shorter than 15 minutes, and also available to watch for free on Viki.

Coffee Prince (2007) A true classic among k-dramas, starring two iconic Korean leads; Gong Yoo and Yoon Eun Hye. While some of the tropes are problematic, and some overdone (Although they were the first to do them), this is, in my opinion, one of the best classics out there. It's 17 episodes long, each one lasting an hour or a little bit more. It's a romantic comedy available on viki plus.

Not into romance? A little bit more of a med drama myself, here are my recs

Being right on S2 D-day, my top all around k-drama recommendation: Hospital Playlist (2020) is a drama about a group of 5 doctors and their daily life in the hospital. It's more accurate than most shows I've seen, and it doesn't glamourize medical life in any way. The first season is 12 episodes long, each lasting on average 1:20 hours, except for the last one, which is nearly two hours long. Available on Netflix.

D-Day (2015) is a disaster med drama, which tells the story of doctors struggling to continue on after a catastrophical earthquake in Korea (Fictional of course). It's 20 episodes long, with each episode lasting about an hour. Available on viki.

Dr. Romantic (2016 & 2020) There are two series, I prefer the first one, but they both hold good on their own. It's a good k-drama to pass the time, but it does grow repetitive on the second series. Available with VIki Pass Plus. Dr Romantic has 21 episodes lasting about an hour, and Dr. Romantic 2 has 16 episodes with about the same length.

But... I want an entertaining law drama. Don't worry, I got you

Lawless Lawyer (2018) a slightly biased because Lee Joon Gi is my absolute fav, and is just so bingeworthy. It's 16 episodes long action packed law drama. It's honestly one of the best. Available on Viki.

Law School (2021) also slightly biased because Kim Bum is also one of my favs, but this one touches on so many social issues, and is just so bingeworthy. It's 16 episodes long , each one lasting a little over an hour. It also has one of the best written leads I've seen. Available on Netflix.

Fine, but I like to suffer and cry my eyes out. Well, get your tissues out, because I have some for you.

Move to Heaven (2021) will make you cry every episode, and will leave you devoid of tears by the end of it. It's 10 episodes long, each one lasting on average an hour. Available on Netflix.

Rain or Shine (2017) is a love story filled with sorrow, and pain. It didn't make me cry, but it's really freaking sad at times. It's 16 episodes long, each one lasting like 75 minutes. Available on Viki.

Hi, Bye Mama (2020) is about a dead mother seeing the world move on. Pretty freaking sad. I cried most of the episodes.

A Piece of Your Mind (2020) Look, the premise of this story is about trying to preserve the human mind, and about grief and moving on. It's 12 episodes long, each one lasting around 70 minutes. Available on viki.

Mr. Sunshine (2018) I'll put it like this, this one is one of my favorites, and I still can't bring myself to watch it again, because the ending left me feeling all sort of feelings for weeks. It's 24 episodes long, each one lasting about 80 minutes.

Look, all of them have been great, but can you recommend me one with strong female leads? Of course, here ya go.

Run On (2020) Look, this one has a couple that turns the overbearing CEO trope on its head. It's 16 episodes long, averaging 70 minutes per episode. Available on Netflix.

Mello is My Nature (2019) is honestly a feminist anthem. It's 16 episodes long. Available on Viki.

Search: WWW (2019) Women are at the center of the narrative, and are the ones who make the world tick. It's 16 episodes long averaging 70 minutes per episode. Available on Viki.

Hello, My Twenties (2017) It's about a girl dorm and the sorority they begin to build. It has 2 great seasons. Available on Netflix.

Weight Lifting Fairy Kim (2016) We love this romantic comedy that puts the end to a lot of cliches. It's 16 episodes long, averaging 60 minutes per episode.

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon (2017) A girl with supernatural strength, what else can I say?

I'm still reading, you haven't mentioned thrillers... Here's some for you, thank you for sticking around.

Beyond Evil (2021) A great thriller filled with plot twists, and refreshing. Available on Netflix and Viki.

Flower of Evil (2020) Lee Joon Gi is the lead, and it's a romantic thriller. An interesting concept. Available on Viki.

Dark Hole (2021) I still don't know wtf I watched, but I still watched it. Available on viki.

Forest of Secrets (2017 & 2020) One of the best thrillers out there. Available on Netflix.

Fine, you seem to find a lot of recommendations, I'll bite, what about action?

Rugal (2020) Action Sci Fi with an awesome soundtrack. Available on Netflix.

The Uncanny Counter (2020) Paranormal action...? Awesome series, my brain is turning into putty....

The K2 (2016) It took me a long time to get around to watch it, but it was worth it. Available on Netflix.

Two Weeks (2013) Third Lee Joon Gi entry, absolutely awesome. Available on Viki.

Stick around for a part 2, bc I grew too tired, and the post is already too long, and the images wouldn't load, so you're stuck with a text dump.

#kdrama recommendations #netflix kdrama #kdrama quotes #kdrama #lee joon gi #hospital playlist #rugal #flower of evil #move to heaven

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pair-annoyed · 4 years

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Anime I Watched This Summer

Summer 2020 has officially come to a close. It’s fall in Animal Crossing and the trees are beginning to turn. Much like quarantine, I spent a lot of my free time watching anime when I wasn’t stressing over starting college. Now that the school year has begun, I thought it would be nice to reflect on everything I’ve watched!

These Anime were seen between 6/14 - 8/31 (my Birthday!) and are listed in chronological order.

They will be rated on a 1-10 scale; 1 meaning complete garbage, 10 meaning masterpiece. I will offer my thoughts on what I did/didn't like about each show!

1. Bakemono no Ko - 8/10

This was such a great way to start out the summer! I love the dynamic between Kumatetsu and Ren. Overall its a little cliche, but it’s also very wholesome. It’s by the same studio that made Wolf Children (which I loved!). so I knew it was going to be good. My favorite aspect of this movie was its backgrounds and world building!

2. Wan Sheng Jie - 9/10

Oh my gosh! I know that this is technically a donghua, but its on MAL, so it counts. This show quickly became my favorite slice of life of all time. I adore the art style and all of the characters. The comedy, plot, and design blends so well together. Everything in Wan Sheng Jie feels warm and comfy. It’s also confirmed for a second season! After seeing its cliff hanger ending, I’m so anxious for what comes next!

3. Dororo - 7/10

I’ll be honest, I’m a sucker for studio MAPPA. I really liked the historical aspects of Dororo. From the outfits to the ways characters behave, its grounded in the constraints of feudal Japan. I would have given this show a higher score if it was a little more grounded in science. I feel like more time should’ve been given to the demons and antagonists of the show. Our MC was so over powered, which made the final fights of the series more lack-luster. I think its less of the anime’s fault and more because the original source material is from the 60s. That being said, I loved this show! It was cute and action packed. Though it isn’t perfect, it holds its own.

4. Bungou Stray Dogs - 5/10

The concepts and action are misconstrued in Bungou Stary Dogs. This is one of those shows that I chose to watch because it was all over Tumblr. The powers themselves are cool, but I can’t understand why this series is so praised. At it’s core its predictable and basic. The fights seemed low stakes and low energy. None of the humor really felt like it belonged. It tried too hard to be something it isn’t. I don’t think I’ll watch beyond this first season.

5. Kami no Tou - 4.5/10

First off, fuck Rachel, me and my homies hate Rachel. I really really had high hopes for Tower of God. It paves the way for Webtoon adaptations in the future. Its such a shame that this adaptation SUCKED. I have not read the source material, I’m going solely based on the anime. It wasn’t good? It was horrible. I hate Bam, I hate Rachel. I think all the characters expect Rak were awful. Please don’t make a season 2. Please. If you’re interesting in Tower of God, just read the webtoon.

6. Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun - 7/10

Shoujo anime is my guilty pleasure. I especially liked the way Gekkan Shoujo tackled Sakura and Nozaki’s relationship. Besides just the main characters, even the side characters were enjoyable! It was a fun and creative show. My only complaint is how dense Nozaki is, but I also absolutely love that part of him.

7. Jojo no Kimyou no Bouken (Parts 1-2) - 6.5/10

Jojo is not the saving grace of shounen anime. It isn’t something super revolutionary and it certainly will never be a 10/10. Part 1 was so slow and boring. Jonathan was just mediocre at best. I definitely liked Joseph a LOT more than Jonathan. Part 2 overall was much easier to watch than part 1. The fights are good, but there’s just something about Jojo that I can’t get behind. Although I’m completely bashing this series, I’m going to keep watching it. At this point, I wanna know what a stand is.

8. Clannad - 5.5/10

I was expecting Clannad to be sad, but instead I got a cute, slice of life, romance. It wasn’t unenjoyable, but it was also a pretty slow-burning show. I loved watching Nagisa and Okazaki slowly fall in love with each other. It was funny at times and sad at other points. I am currently watching Clannad: After Story (which I’ve heard is heartbreaking), so I’m hoping to get some catharsis out of that.

9. Otome Game no Hametsu Flag shika Nai... - 6/10

This show is only 12 episodes, and yet it still has filler episodes for some reason? I’m a person who doesn’t typically watch isekai because the genre is so over done. However, when it’s done in a very specific way it’s really fun to watch! This show was definitely a lot of fun, it’s also cute and has so many interesting character-character interactions. The ending is painfully cliche, but I think it adds to this shows charm.

10. Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai: Tensai-tachi no Renai Zunousen - 8/10

I loved Love is War so much! I love their weird romantic dynamic. I love the characters, and I love the animation. It’s over the top and executes it humor masterfully. The entire show fills you with anticipation for the two main characters. Kaguya is my favorite character. Although I haven’t seen season two yet, I most certainly will! I’m so upset I hadn’t seen this show sooner.

11. Great Pretender - 8.5/10

This show is so colorful and bubbly. The animation is so smooth and they are able to tackle so many different kinds of things given its plot. The whole show itself just feels like summertime. It came out not to long ago, so some people may not be familiar with it. On top of the show itself, the music is great, with a Jazzy OP and and ED that features Freddie Mercury

12. Steins;Gate 0 - 8/10

I loved the original Stein;Gate so much! So it’s no surprise how much I liked the second season. It builds significantly off the first season in a sort of “off shot” OVA kind of way. The events of Steins;Gate 0 don’t actually happen, but that doesn’t stop it from being meaningful. The big “twist” was predictable and a bit of a let down, but I still enjoyed this. Granted, I’m bias.

13. Seishun Buta Yarou wa Yumemiru Shoujo no Yume wo Minai - 9.5/10

I sobbed. So much. This movie was phenomenal, it was such a trip. Having watched the original series, this tore my heart apart. It gets a high score for being able to take the characters I love and creating a wonderfully emotional experience. If you haven’t seen Bunny Girl Senpai, please watch it, and then watch this movie. You won’t regret it!

14. Hotaru no Haka - 6/10

Grave of the Fireflies made me stop watching anime for a while. Studio Ghibli created something grim, something that leaves the viewers feeling hollow. Its a movie about WWII from Japan’s perspective. As an American, all I could feel while watching this was immense guilt. I will say though, that some of the movies main plot could have easily been prevented if the main character had swallowed his pride. His younger sister was also my least favorite character. I get that she’s a kid and that kids are fussy, but you would think that during wartime, she’d be more understanding and at least try to eat the things she dislikes.

15. Yagate Kimi ni Naru - 9/10

This was a great way to end the summer. This is more that just GL romance, its a love story. Its about growing up and learning to understand your feelings. I related to Yuu so much, which made this more emotional than I expected. It’s really unlike another romance anime I’ve seen. I hope it gets confirmed for a second season. If not, I’ll be reading the manga.

Seasonal Shows: (Things that are still airing as of 9/5/2020)

1. The God of High School 7.5/10

Another thing done by studio MAPPA. Are you surprised? I absolutely love the action in GoH. The plot however, is all over the place. The story seems fragmented and hard to follow. Like Tower of God, it was poorly adapted. I’m giving it such a high score, because it’s SO much more enjoyable then Tower of God.

2. Enen no Shouboutai: Ni no Shou - 4/10

My thoughts on season 2 are about the same as my thoughts on season 1. The only difference is that this season has more Jojo references. I’ve rated it lower because its so repetitive. I’m so sick of watching it, but I’ve got to see it through the bitter end.

3. Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu 2nd Season - 8.5/10

All I’m going to say about Re:Zero is that I love it. I can’t give an accurate review of it because I’ve been hyping this season since it was announced. If you’re into non-typical isekai, watch Re:Zero, its so enjoyable!

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comicreadingorder · 3 years

Text

Ben Reilly Post-Clone Saga Reading Order

Ben hasn’t been up to much since Revelations, the arc that brought an end to The Clone Saga, probably because he died. But he did show up in a few flashbacks and nods before being brought back proper.

Bold=Important Italics=optional [Brackets=one-shot]

Brand New Day

ASM Annual 36, ASM 608-610 — Also features the first appearance of Kaine since the Clone Saga ended. I considered adding all of Kaine’s appearances because of the overlap but that’s a big list by itself. I wasn’t planning on doing one but does anyone want it?

Spider-Verse

An alternate universe version of him is part of the clone trio in this tie-in, totally skippable but the lineup is great (Ben, Kaine, Ultimate Jessica Drew) and the brotherly bickering is fun. The plot is somewhat self-contained enough to enjoy it even without the rest of the event.

Scarlet Spiders 1-3

The Clone Conspiracy

This is his big return. If you don’t care about the tangential stuff you can just start here. There are 2 chunks, the first is basically a prelude arc, second is the real thing.

ASM (V4) 16-18, [Captain America FCBD (2016) B story], ASM 19

Clone Conspiracy 1, ASM 20, CC 2, ASM 21, CC 3, ASM 22, CC 4, ASM 23, CC 5, ASM 24, [CC Omega]

Scarlet Spider: Ben Reilly

After the events of Clone Conspiracy he peaces out to Vegas. This title starts slow but around issue 7 it really kicks into gear. Stick with it.

SS 1-6

Secret Empire -- This isn’t about Ben but it has an effect on Vegas that is followed up in Ben’s story. For an idea of how crucial it is, I still haven’t read it and got along fine.

SS 7-14

Damnation 1, 2

SS 15

Damnation 3

SS 16, 17

Damnation 4

SS 18-25

Spider-Geddon

After SS: BR is cancelled he next appears in this crossover. I made a post just for it that you can find by clicking on the name above.

Team-Ups

Random appearances that don’t progress his story in any way.

Conan: Battle for the Serpent Crown 2 — He shows up, gets smacked around, and is never seen again. Literally in 5 pages.

Iron Man (V6) 5-? — This story and his being part of it is still ongoing, but presumably when finished it’ll count as having happened before his Beyond stuff. As far as relevant he’s barely there or has any lines, but he does have some good ones in the latest issue (13.)

Beyond

ASM/Venom FCBD 2021 — As Marvel has done with the title since BND, this new era (dubbed Beyond) begins with a free comic book day issue before continuing in the main 3-issues-a-month title.

ASM (V5) 74 — V5 (Spencer’s run) never includes Ben until the last 8 pages of 74, a teaser for Ben’s run, which officially starts with 75.

And that’s where we are at the moment. If you have questions, corrections or suggestions feel free to message me or ask.

#ben reilly #scarlet spider #spider-man #Brand New Day #clone conspiracy #spider-geddon #kaine parker #peter parker #clones #why did it have to be clones #clone saga #scarlet spider: Ben Reilly #reading order #spider-man beyond #reading list

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thefirstknife · 3 years

Note

Help, I ran Garden of Salvation with some clan mates and i'm Experiencing Great Sadness about the Kentarch 3 again.

I haven't been following you since shadowkeep, and was wondering if you had some theories about what happened, because a lot is left unexplained, specifically about Lisbon-13's motivations. The story from Yardarm-4's perspective shows that something is influencing them before they accept power (stasis teaser?) from the darkness. Do you think they really had a choice? Do you think he was influenced in his decision to kill them? If so, why? As a test just for him? Presumably he's still out there somewhere, and I can't tell from the lorebooks whether Rekkana let him kill her first or not. I just feel so bad for them, they all loved each other. Yardarm probably took the power in the first place to help get them out safely. Do you think it'll ever get concluded? The whole lore series seems interestingly close to what happens with Shayura, just sort of in reverse.

Kentarch 3 fireteam and the whole story on the Garden of Salvation armour and the associated weapons and equipment is amazing and very interesting, I agree. I haven't talked about it before but it's a good thing to revisit every so often! I think there's still a lot we don't really understand, mostly due to not fully understanding the power of the Black Garden.

In short for the general audience, Kentarch 3 was a fireteam that consisted of Yardarm-4 (Titan), Rekkana (Warlock) and Lisbon-13 (Hunter). They went to explore the Black Garden at the behest of the Warlock order called the Cryptochrons which Rekkana was a part of. This order got exiled some time after Osiris for dabbling in prophecies. Cryptochrons were formed around a Oneiromantic Circle and led by a Sibyl (or multiple sibyls; or Sibyl was just a name of one member, it's unclear). Oneiromancy is the practice of interpreting dreams to predict the future and sibyls were ancient Greek female prophets and oracles.

I didn't think this would get long but it did so the rest under the cut:

The Cryptochron order continued operating after its exile and Rekkana received a prophecy from them that revolved around a fireteam learning about the Black Garden and retrieving from it a Vex relic of some sort. The relic is the exotic weapon Divinity and the lore tab on it details the prophecy they were chasing:

"And after any other Cryptochrons they learn of. But your path is more dangerous than most. The Circle has foreseen many fireteams following in your footsteps. You can find the knowledge the order seeks at the Tree."

"Can? Not will?" For the first time, Rekkana sounded concerned.

"The Circle has had limited success in piercing the veil that surrounds the Black Garden, so the order offers no certainties. They say that a group of Guardians will discover secrets about the origin of the Black Garden at the Tree. The Oneiromantic Circle foresees no reason why it will not be the Kentarch 3."

"Nor can I. But…?"

"There is another thread in the tapestry, entwined with this one. The Vex, or some fractal faction of them, worship or honor a… divinity there."

"The Black Heart? It was destroyed."

"Yes, but this is something different. An object. Something like a sacred relic. It is important to the Vex for reasons that we have not yet fathomed. The Circle has determined that it is dangerous—"

"A Vex weapon?"

"Perhaps," the Sybil sounded annoyed at the interruption. "Rekkana, the Circle concluded that it is a danger to you."

"To me? But then, why send me on this mission?"

"When the Circle dreamed of the object, you were beside it."

They agreed that, should they find this object, Lisbon should be the one to carry it. They did find it and he was indeed the one to carry it, as is shown later in another lore tab detailed below.

We know that Lisbon-13 killed the rest of his fireteam because they got corrupted by the Black Garden, something happened to their Ghosts (they all just dropped down and started losing their Light) and then turned on him. He was being hunted and he really had no choice. But he couldn't live with it. In Beyond Light, he's shown trying to kill his Ghost in order to stay permanently dead because he couldn't bear the burden of what he did to his fireteam, even though his actions were justified and he acted in self-defence.

But before he managed to do that, he was faced with his own doppleganger, just like the YW at the end of Shadowkeep. In the end, Lisbon didn't kill his Ghost because the doppleganger offered him power and Lisbon (presumably) chose to take it: his wish was simply to make himself forget about his fireteam (and Rekkana specifically, whom he loved). It's implied that he accepted and after that, we have no formal information what happened.

The outcome of what happened to Kentarch 3 is somewhat known, as detailed in this ship lore. The Vanguard knows Lisbon killed the other two, they're not sure when they lost their Ghosts and they have not found anyone's body, not even Lisbon's. But we know from the lore that came out after that Lisbon accepted the deal with his doppleganger and we have no idea what that entailed. Is he still in the Black Garden? Was he killed? Replaced? Just memory-wiped and sent back? Something else entirely? We'll explore at the end.

I'm pretty sure the voices they heard talking to them were also their own dopplegangers. And it's somewhat implied that they made some sort of a bargain and accepted "new powers" that came "from the wrong side." There's only one description of it:

Her fist glimmered and quaked with an unfamiliar power. She only had to release her grip, and that energy would rip through him, burning without fire.

That's Rekkana attacking Lisbon. It's never fully explained what it is, but it could very well be some sort of prototype Stasis in my opinion. Or some other Darkness power. Not sure why the Black Garden would give them this, which is why I think they simply harnessed the power of their dopplegangers. This is something that's been mentioned a few times in regards to Darkness: duplication. Same is present with the Taken as well (Taken psions duplicate). I mentioned the duplication theme being discussed in Clovis' journal before too.

Honestly, I can't make any definitive conclusion, but Kentarch 3 definitely found something horrifying in the Black Garden and fell to its influence. They also reference doing the puzzles to get Divinity, which they got and Lisbon used it to kill the other two.

Garden of Salvation raid ends with a Pyramid scale opening up and leading us down into the area with the Darkness statue. I think this could've easily been some sort of a lead into the future of Destiny and the powers of Darkness. Kentarch 3 may have accidentally received this power early on or were perhaps some sort of a test the Darkness did on Guardians before offering them Stasis for real.

It's an interesting story and yep, it does mirror Shayura's fireteam and how the story is told! Each member of the fireteam tells the same story from their own POV on armour for that class. I'll link all of them in order, roughly how I think it's best to read each POV:

Rekkana: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Yardarm-4: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Lisbon-13: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

I like how the armour follows the same name pattern: Righteousness, Exaltation, Transcendence, Ascendancy and Temptation.

Associated Garden of Salvation weapons also have some tidbits of lore that might help, namely:

Ancient Gospel Hand Cannon:

"These forces have existed forever, but only one of them speaks to us." —Rekkana, Warlock of the Kentarch 3

Sacred Provenance Pulse Rifle:

"These gifts were not made for us, but we were meant to have them." —Rekkana, Warlock of the Kentarch 3

Zealot's Reward Fusion Rifle:

"Why not use these gifts we've been given?" —Yardarm-4, Titan of the Kentarch 3

I would really like to learn more about them, and specifically Lisbon because he might be able to actually tell us what happened. He or his Ghost, Piri, who managed to survive last we've seen her. I think the Ghost might be able to give the most accurate version of events. It's interesting that Lisbon was very much against whatever power they received and that was the reason he abandoned his fireteam, which made the other two consider him a traitor to their friendship.

Very intriguing lore story that could possibly be mentioned again in some form. Also as a brighter note, yes, Yardarm literally flew into the Black Garden with an entire ship and crash landed inside. On a less brighter note, we've never seen the remains of a ship in there (to be fair, Black Garden is huge) and it's somewhat implied that they entered through the Vex Gate on Mars which puts the timeline of when they got there into question. The Vex Gate on Mars that led into the Black Garden was destroyed in the Red War. The new gate showed up on the Moon in Shadowkeep (and you can't fly a ship into it because it's in a cave).

An additional note which answers certain things when it comes to Lisbon's fate that I hinted at before: in order to acquire the quest for Divinity, you have to go to the Moon to the Vex Gate for the first time. The gate will open up and a Vex mind will come out. This giant Vex minotaur is called Zeteon, Redemptive Mind. Upon killing this minotaur, you receive "Divine Fragmentation" quest. Details of the quest here. You pick up a Vex core that has strange readings coming from it and you have to decipher it by running it through various Vex technology. Once fully completed, you have to go into Garden of Salvation, do the Divinity puzzles and the weapon will drop from the extra chest at the end.

Why am I mentioning this? Well. Zeteon, Redemptive Mind drops a core that contains information about how to get Divinity. Lisbon was the member of the fireteam that held Divinity and used it to kill his fireteam. There's a quote from Lisbon on the weapon called Accrued Redemption:

"I should never have let it come to this. Now each arrow is a penance." —Lisbon-13, Hunter of the Kentarch 3

Divinity's perks are called Judgement and Penance.

Basically, I believe that whatever deal Lisbon accepted that made him forget his fireteam, free him from the suffering and redeem him ended with him being converted into Zeteon, Redemptive Mind. It's the reason why this Vex in particular had the pieces needed to construct Divinity again. Lisbon was the last person who had it. Becoming the bearer of parts needed for Divinity was both his Judgement and his Penance.

Final note because I love ancient languages being used for the names of things in Destiny: "Zeteon" most likely comes from Greek "zeteo" which means:

to seek, search after, look for

to inquire into, examine, consider

to strive for, desire, wish

Probably tied to Lisbon's search and desire for redemption for what he's done. I think that wraps up his fate quite nicely, although tragically.

#destiny 2 #kentarch 3 #lisbon-13 #rekkana #yardarm-4 #garden of salvation raid #black garden #darkness #vex #ask #long post #anon if you've been wondering what's taking so long for your question to be answered or if i've received the question #this essay is the reason shfksjfhskjfhks

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imonthinice · 3 years

Text

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 22/?

Word Count: 1.8k

Author's Note: Y/N - Your name, A/N - Any name (Your best friend's name)

We're back, we're in full swing, we've hit like 50 followers, we've hit 500 notes. We're thriving.

Also! Fun fact but I can't actually watch Young Justice season 3 (and 4) or Titans :/ They're on DC Universe, which is only available in America. (If you can't catch on, I'm not from America lol)

Warnings: Swearing, Description of Injury, Kidnapping, Police/ Justice System, Manipulation attempts, Gaslighting, Violence, No beta bitch we die like Jason Todd.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20) (Part 21) (Part 22)

The days became longer and kept bothering Y/N. She was losing grip on reality. Aria would come in occasionally and feed her. Give her water. Let her use the bathroom. She was stuck. She wanted to knock off that stupid fucking bird plague doctor mask and, look her pathetic sister in her eyes. And let Aria know that she knew, she knew who it was.

But she was backed into a corner. And the mask was not going to come off anytime. Boy, oh boy, she wanted it to fall. She wanted it to slip so she could boot it into the walls she had become accustomed to. She wanted it to fall and shatter.

Aria came into the room like normal, to be greeted by Y/N not even looking her in the eyes.

"Come here, love," Aria said.

"Go to Hell."

"I need to use you for a "Proof of Life" video. So I can use you for ransom. Come here."

"No."

"Come here. Now," Aria said, voice getting more hoarse and pissed off with Y/N and her actions.

"No."

"Come. Here. Now!" She screeched.

"No!"

She felt Aria's claws grab her wrists and dig in, she could feel the blood seeping through the claws from her wrists. Aria pushed her into the wall, still gripping her wrists and letting the blood flow down Y/N's arms.

"Listen here, you fucking bitch," Aria said, dropping her voice a few octaves, to seem intimidating. "I want that money. If you don't cooperate, I'll kill you."

Y/N whimpered but spat at her sister, "You'll fucking die trying."

Aria wrestled Y/N into her seat and handcuffed her to it. She then set up the video camera.

"And, recording. Talk."

"I fucking hate you."

"You should."

"Go to fucking Hell."

"The date is February 14th. Here," she shoved a newspaper into the view of the camera, Y/N didn't even notice Aria bring it in. She saw the article on the back of her kidnapping. She knew people were still talking.

"Here is the date. On a newspaper. This video will be released today. If I don't get the money within a week, I'll kill her. Along with the Waynes."

Y/N gulped. This just got so much more real than she was expecting.

Aria left the room, with Y/N still handcuffed to the chair. She took in the room she had become used to. She had spent a week in captivity, expecting the vigilantes of Gotham to come and get them, but they didn't. She was confused as to why-

Wait a damn minute, she thought. Are you- Wait- Wait- Wait- Wait. Oh my god? The family is in captivity, the vigilantes haven't come for us yet, are- she paused. Are they the vigilantes? There's no way, they can't be- Can they? They can- Can't they, huh? Fuck. We're- We're not getting out anytime soon. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

This is a God damn pickle we've gotten into. Aria must know what I think, the family- she paused, almost as if she didn't believe what she was thinking. That they're the Gotham vigilantes. She must- Fuck!

I don't care that they didn't tell me- she thought like someone could read her thoughts. She figured that someone might be able to. She knew that Martian Manhunter had those abilities. she figured that Miss Martian, who she didn't see often, likely shared those abilities.

I care that we might be fucked.

---------------------------------------

Before she knew it, that exact day, she figured, February 14th? The door was broken down by Superman. This just put the pieces together more for Y/N. Her assumptions about the Waynes being the Gotham vigilantes were just seeming more likely as time went on.

Superman uncuffed her and she thanked him before running out to where Aria was being arrested by the Gotham police. But she didn't stop, and she knocked off Aria's mask.

"Oh, hi Y/N," Aria said, nonchalantly.

"Oh, hi Y/N," Y/N mocked. "You fucking bitch!" she yelled and pushed Aria, while the police tried to detain her. She struggled and tried to attack Aria further, "Let go! I know her power of attorney is going to be her sister-"

"How do you know that?" Commissioner Gordon asked.

"Because her sister is me!" She yelled when she finally broke away from the police, trying to get closer to Aria, before Commissioner Gordon stopped her, grabbing her arms and squeezing lightly. She stared at him, dead-faced. No emotions were there, other than anger, raw, seething anger.

Aria laughed, "Oops. I guess the jig is up."

Y/N was seething, she didn't even notice the JLA and the rest of the Waynes were behind her. She was still struggling to get towards Aria, yelling and just making noise.

She was making a scene, but she didn't care. She felt betrayed.

"You fucking bitch. You absolutely pathetic piece of shit."

"Keep yelling at me, Y/N. Mom and Dad will be disappointed in you. They always are, aren't they?"

Y/N turned to Commissioner Gordon, who was still holding her in place, "You either get her out of my fucking face in 5 seconds or I'm going to hurt her. That's not a threat," she turned to Aria, "That's a fucking promise."

"We might have to detain you at this rate, Y/N."

"And I would understand that, but I'm going to hurt her."

"Ma'am, calm down." Commissioner Gordon said before waving his hand and the other police took Aria into the back of a police car. "I'm going to have to arrest you," he said, trying to show sympathy for the pain that Y/N was in.

"Then do it already," Y/N mumbled, eyes still locked on the police car her sister was in.

"Gordon?" Jason called, "I swear, I've never seen this much anger in her. I'm sure you can send her home with us."

"You better be right about that, Jason."

"I really think I am right."

Gordon looked at Y/N, which she caught in the corner of her eye. She could tell he was upset about this, he was trying to get to her, to get her to understand her anger was okay, but beating her sister wasn't.

And then Aria waved as they drove her to the station.

But she wasn't even paying attention and before she knew it, she was in Jason's arms. He was holding her while talking to the police about the attack. He had his hands wrapped around her waist while he was behind her, maximizing the ability he had to stop her should she run.

He knew what he was doing, and it was working to calm her slightly, to the point where the police were able to talk to her about her experience with the attacker they knew as Hour, or as Arianna (Last name).

Once they were done with questioning her, they spoke more to Jason, who still had her in his grasp.

She surveyed the area and noticed that Bruce was talking to Superman.

The pieces were all falling into place. She knew he had to be Batman at that moment.

And she wanted in on it.

The hopelessness she felt when Aria had her kidnapped was astronomical. She wanted to make sure no one ever felt that way again, not if she could help it. She wanted in on it all.

She thought back to Jason's stab wound, the scar still fresh. She knew it wasn't a mugging. It had to be him saving the city from peril. She realized how dumb she was for buying into that lie, but she wasn't mad at anyone in her vicinity.

She was mad- pissed- so far beyond angry at Aria.

She didn't know she could be so angry. She didn't know she had it in her to be so angry at Aria. But she was. She was so unbelievably pissed. Any mention of her name sent Y/N into seething anger, and Jason could feel her heart race in her body.

She wasn't paying attention to words anymore. She just wanted to get out of there, to go home. To her home, not Jason's. She didn't feel safe in the Wayne Manor anymore.

No one could blame her when she told the police to drive her to her house, not the Wayne Manor. Jason just hugged her and asked when he could see her next. She told him in the morning. "Or," she added, "At 3 in the morning. I don't care. Just leave me alone right now."

Everyone understood. They didn't have their own sister kidnap them after all.

She got to her house and got inside, A/N immediately trying to flag her down to talk to her, but she just put up a hand and waved her off. Slinking to her room without a second thought and locking the door.

She didn't want to talk about it. The thoughts about her sister racing through her mind. The thoughts about how her boyfriend was a vigilante. How was she going to bring this up? How was she going to tell him that she knew? That she wanted in on the act? That she wanted to fight alongside him- and his family?

Before she knew it, and like clockwork, it was 3 in the morning. And Jason was knocking on her window. She assumed that he had tried to let himself into her room, but to no avail since she hadn't unlocked the door.

She went over to her window and unlocked it. She lifted it and Jason crawled in.

"I have a front door," she said.

"You didn't answer when I tried to knock on your door," he joked. "How are you holding up?"

"As well as anyone can in my situation."

"Well, everyone wishes you came home with us, so we could watch you on your first night away from-"

"From my sister?"

"I was going to say from captivity."

"So, my sister."

"Yeah, that."

"Uh-huh."

"So, anyway," Jason said, trying to get Y/N's mind off of Aria. "Did you sleep when you got here?" he asked.

"No. I was busy."

"Doing what?"

"Lost in thought. There's a lot of thoughts, not enough brain," she joked. "You probably get that part."

"I do-"

"When were you going to tell me?" she but in.

"Tell you what?" he questioned, confused.

"That you're one of the vigilantes," she answered, studying his face. He seemed taken aback by the statement and tried to avert her gaze. Oh yeah, he knows what I'm on about, she thought.

"I-"

"You know what I'm on about, Jay. You know I know so don't lie anymore."

"Y/N-"

"No. You know I know. I know you know. Don't lie anymore. I'm not even ad at the lies, you're trying to keep me safe, obviously."

"Oh."

"The truth is, babe, I want in."

"What!?"

(Oh my god? Are we going to get Red Hood action? (The answer is yes, in due time)

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qitwrites · 3 years

Text

|| 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 ||

Momo is 13 when she gets her first period.

Her parents had talked to her about it of course, told her it was completely natural and normal and healthy, and to come to them when it happens.

What nobody was prepared for was the pain.

She’s in the family garden creating some Lego blocks for herself when a bout of cramps, sharp and intense, roils through her abdomen and up her left leg. It’s so sudden she can barely call for help, and by the time the guards reach her, she’s on the ground sobbing, clutching her stomach and shakily taking in gasps of air.

They tell her it’s a combination of her diet and her genes. The high-fat diet has consequences, no matter how much she uses her quirk to balance it out and her father’s side of the family has a history of debilitating period pains. It’s just really bad luck, or so they tell her.

Of course, this doesn’t deter Momo from her plans of becoming a pro-hero. It’s all she wants. So, it’s what she chases and works for and earns.

The period pains get worse.

Class 1A doesn’t notice for the longest time. Momo is good at hiding it, at hiding how often she uses the loo for the first two days, how much pain she’s biting back in class, how badly she’s performing in training. She practices her smile in the mirror, sits through hours of class and training and socializing with a smile plastered on her face, and screams into her pillow at night. She spends those nights on her bathroom floor, alternating between throwing up and enjoying the cool feeling of the tiles underneath her.

Nobody realizes until Momo doesn’t show up for class one day.

Of course, everyone is immediately concerned- Momo isn’t one to skip. She takes the best notes, has perfect attendance, submits her assignments on time, the works. First period passes like that, and Aizawa even brings it up but nobody knows where she is. She hasn’t messaged a soul or called anyone about anything.

They’re on break after second period when Todoroki finds her on the staircase landing between the first and second floor.

Momo is on the ground, laying on her side. Her hand is in her mouth, blood dripping down her skin as she clenches it tightly between her teeth. Her other hand is wrapped around her abdomen, squeezing tightly. Tears stream down her face continuously, like an endless river. She’s muffling her screams, and it’s almost like she can’t even see Todoroki, her gaze piercing straight through him.

Todoroki is immediately alarmed, getting to his knees in front of her. He looks over her and can’t see any physical injuries, any signs of trauma.

‘Yaoyorozu,’ he says urgently, ‘what’s going on?’

Momo blinks at him, some of the tears dispelling. She finally sees him, recognizes him, and gasps. She pulls her hand away and the tears spill again.

‘I can’t-‘ she starts and sucks in a sharp breath ‘-I can’t breathe. I can’t- there’s too much pain fuck.’ Todoroki raises his brows- Momo never curses. Never. Not even when she stubbed her toe against the dining table and broke it.

‘We have to get you to recovery girl,’ Todoroki says, moving to help her up.

‘Wait,’ she groans. ‘I need- dammit, Todoroki let me borrow your left hand for a moment please.’

Todoroki complies without question, and watches as she takes it and places it on her abdomen above her uniform.

‘As hot as you can go,’ she says, ‘without burning my uniform. Please.’

Todoroki has no idea what’s going on, but he does as she asks. The effect is almost immediate- her breathing evens out, her eyes focus again, her body stops jerking in pain. It’s almost like she’s been sedated.

After nearly 2 minutes of sitting in silence, she gently takes Todoroki’s hand and places it on his own knee. She sits up gingerly and wipes away her tears, smearing some of the blood on her cheeks instead. Todoroki watches her carefully, ready to step in if she asks for help.

‘What happened?’

Momo looks at him with sad eyes. ‘It’s just my period cramps Todoroki. I’m ok, I’ll be alright.’

Todoroki quirks a brow. ‘You’re not ok Yaoyorozu, even I can tell just by looking at you.’

Momo is about to voice another protest when the door to the stairwell bursts open. Bakugou and Kirishima walk through with vending machine drinks in their hands and stop when they spot the pair on the floor.

‘Yaomomo?’ Kirishima shouts, running towards them. Bakugou trails just behind, eyebrows furrowed.

Momo plasters a smile on her face, trying to hide her bloodied hand.

‘What happened?’ Kirishima yells, crouching down with a concerned look in his eyes.

‘I-‘

‘She said it’s period cramps,’ Todoroki interrupts. In all honesty, he never grew up around his mother or his sister, so he has limited knowledge of periods in general. But with that limited knowledge also came the lack of a stigma towards periods in general. He doesn’t think anything of talking about it.

Kirishima’s concerned look melts into one of sad understanding.

‘Oh man,’ he says, ‘that sucks Yaomomo. They’re that bad, huh?’

Momo keeps her smile in place. ‘Really, I’m fine, it’s nothing I cannot handle, I’m ok-‘

A hand, absurdly gentle, pulls her bloodied one away from where she’s hiding it. Momo startles when she sees Bakugou holding her hand, giving her a tight look. He drops it gently and sighs. With a grunt, Bakugou sits down next to her, back leaning into the wall. Kirishima sits cross legged in front of her while Todoroki sits on her other side.

‘My old hag,’ Bakugou grumbles, ‘has period pains. More like period torture, I guess. She threw up every month on the first day. She’d have dark circles from the lack of sleep, and she’d slap hot water bags to her stomach 24/7. She even burned the skin there a few times. Painkillers didn’t do shit, there were no surgical options, not even birth control made much of a dent. She’d just grit her teeth and bare it every month.’

Momo listens silently, her hands slowly unclenching.

‘My moms,’ Kirishima pitches in, ‘are pretty chill with it. Well, Mama’s get really bad sometimes, but mom is usually ok. I’ve seen them bring each other ice-cream or squeeze each other’s shoulders. They sync up a lot too! Mama would always tell me to be nicer to mom, and mom would always tell me to give mama a kiss. They’re both so manly when they battle their periods every month.’ He offers Momo a gentle smile.

Todoroki hums. ‘I admit, I don’t know much beyond the biological part of it. But from what I can see, Yaoyorozu, this isn’t very normal, is it? This level of pain?’

Momo sighs, brushing away the fresh tears welling up in her eyes.

‘I, between my quirk and my genes, I have received the shorter end of the stick. Of course, I have looked into treatments. There’s nothing I can fix with surgery, and painkillers are usually ineffective. I have tried birth control measures, but they interfere with my quirk.’

Momo looks up at the ceiling. ‘I don’t think we talk about this enough, about heroes that menstruate. I can’t stop being a hero on the days I have my period, but sometimes, I’m in so much pain I can’t see straight. I-‘ she sucks in a stuttering breath ‘-I don’t know what to do sometimes. I want to stand on equal footing with my peers.’

Bakugou scoffs. ‘You shitting me? You’re top of the class, your quirk can make fucking canons, you tutored our fuckwit classmates into not failing miserably, and you did it all through this shit? What part of that is not equal with your peers?’

Kirishima nods in agreement. ‘I mean, Mina has some cramps too, so I usually bring her hot water bags when she asks. I read somewhere that spinach is great for period health, so I make us both protein shakes with spinach and banana! She says it helps.’

‘The iron in spinach must be beneficial,’ Momo muses, her face breaking into the first genuine smile of the day. ‘I usually up my iron intake as well. It does help.’

‘You’re right though,’ Todoroki adds, eyebrows furrowed, ‘we don’t talk enough about heroes that menstruate. Plus, the fact that you can’t seem to find a way to manage your pain without it affecting your life is proof that they haven’t put much thought into it, isn’t it?’

Bakugou grunts in agreement. ‘My hag volunteers at women’s shelters and tries to raise funds for pain meds and hygiene supplies and shit. It’s ridiculous. All of that shit should be free. No one asks to have a period every month.’

‘We can change that though,’ Kirishima pipes in, always the voice of positivity. ‘Look at the four of us, talking about it! Yaomomo, I’m sorry.’

Momo blinks, ‘What for Kirishima?’

‘For not noticing! You must’ve been in so much pain all this time, huh? I’m sorry for not noticing and doing more.’

Momo feels something cold press against her arm. She looks down to see Bakugou pushing his unopened drink into her elbow.

‘Take it, staying hydrated helps with the cramps.’ He stands up and brushes his pants. ‘Think you can stand?’

Momo takes a sip of the drink, relishing the cold fizzy burn as it slides down her throat. She takes a deep breath and stands, stumbling a little before catching herself. Todoroki steadies her around the elbow.

‘Can we take you to recovery girl?’

Momo smiles warmly. ‘I’ve been already. We’ve been working together on some remedies. It’ll take time, but I hope we can come up with something.’ Momo hums. ‘I should put more work into this. I can’t be the only hero that faces such bad period pains.’

‘That’s so manly Yaomomo!’ Kirishima beams. ‘I’m kinda dumb so I don’t think I can help with the research but let me know if there’s anything else I can do.’

Momo giggles into the back of her hand and they start moving towards class together. As they reach the top of the stairs another bout of cramps settles into her gut, and she clenches the railing with a white knuckled grip.

The boys stand around, guarding her, supporting her, giving her small smiles and reassuring nods. Todoroki offers her his hand again, and she quickly makes a heating pad and hands it to him, so she can continue to use it during class. Bakugou urges her to drink more water, and Kirishima keeps telling her how manly she is.

When they get to class, everyone crowds around her and she laughs softly, promising to explain everything later. The rest of the day passes by with little incident, and throughout it all, Todoroki takes the heating pad from her, heats it up and hands it back, hour after hour.

They talk about it in the dorms after class, and recounting her episode opens the floodgates for all the girls.

‘I get really bad migraines,’ Uraraka sighs, rubbing at her temples as if in anticipation. ‘It makes the nausea from my quirk even more unbearable.’

Jirou nods. ‘I get you. I have leg cramps, makes it impossible to use my legs during heartbeat surround. The speakers are too painful to use, and I’m never as stable as I’d like to be.’ She gives Kirishima a pointed look. ‘I’ll join you at the gym next time, teach me some leg moves. I want to get stronger.’ Kirishima gives her a huge thumbs up and a blinding grin.

‘My back gives out sometimes,’ Mina says. ‘I have this pain that burns in my lower back on a few occasions, it’s the worst.’

‘I don’t have a lot of physical symptoms,’ Hagakure pipes in, ‘but I do have PMS and depressive episodes. I’ve been trying to figure out a good med balance to fix it.’ All the girls nod at that, squeezing her arms and shoulders in silent support.

The teachers are brought into the loop too, and Aizawa gently berates Momo for not coming to him sooner.

‘We’re here to help,’ he says, eyes the gentlest she’s ever seen. ‘Learn to rely on your teachers more, will you? Such troublemakers , the lot of you.’

Momo makes hot packs for the girls after that, and the teachers don’t blink when one of them passes it to Todoroki in the middle of class as the boy just heats it the appropriate amount before passing it back without so much as a hiccup in his work.

Bakugou sends Momo articles and tips from his mom about pain management and dealing with cramps. He says it’s because he wants her to be in top condition when he beats her for #1, otherwise it won’t, in his eloquent words, mean jack shit. Momo tries some stuff out, happily surprised when her symptoms are even the slightest bit reduced. Kirishima offers to make them all spinach shakes, and they take him up on that every so often, complimenting his limited cooking abilities.

And on the days Momo is back on the bathroom floor heaving into the toilet, Jirou holds her hair back. Mina cuddles her on the couch when her hands are clenched as she bites back tears, and Ojiro sits by her feet, a reassuring presence to depend on if she ever needs something.

They’ve still got a long way to go as a society, but it’s a start. And a damn good one at that.

#boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha: thicker than blood #momo yaoyorozu #todoroki shouto #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #class 1a headcanons #so today in thicker than blood #lets talk periods!#there's no talk of blood or anything #it's more about period cramps #and how period pain manifests in different but very painful ways #i've thought about this a lot you know?#like the female heroes can't just take a few days off every month on their period but they'd still be in so much pain #and in my country period products are still taxed as luxury items which is a load of fucking horsecrap #i have feelings about this because my own periods are pretty shite tbh #i just wanted to write about the boys actually caring #and having an open discussion about this #and give momo some love because she's actually great???

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autisticcassandracain · 3 years

Text

I have many thoughts on the weird phenomena in the DC fandom and the Batfam fandom specifically where probably the majority of people just straight up. haven’t interacted with the source material. and almost all of those thoughts can be summarized as ‘lmao that’s weird and mildly concerning’.

and because I’m annoying I will list them all here right now <3

1. To preface this post, I mean, obviously, comics are inaccessible as all hell, both in the disability kind of way and the ‘you need to understand the concept of hypertime to fully comprehend the DC timeline’ kind of way. Because of this, even if you don’t have a disability that prevents you from reading comics, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to look at the amount of comics you need to read to have even a base understanding of a character and go ‘no thanks <3′ and just enjoy fanart and fanfic in a vacuum. Ultimately, this is fandom, this is supposed to be fun, it doesn’t really matter.

2. That said, it’s VERY weird to me that the majority of this fandom just straight up hasn’t interacted with the source material, and moreover, that it’s considered rude to tell people that they should do so. It’s especially weird considering the amount of fanon-only fans I’ve seen who straight up have a superiority complex over canon. The idea that it’s gatekeeping to tell fans of something to actually interact with canon is just. so weird, and a fundamental misunderstanding of what ‘gatekeeping’ actually entails.

3. But honestly I’m less interested in discussing the ways in which canon and fanon fans should interact with each other (personally, I think it would be helpful to create separate tags of some kind, but that’d require quite a big overhaul of the current fandom state) than in figuring out how this actually happened in the first place. On the one hand, it’s obvious; long-running superhero comics the way DC writes them have made themselves so thoroughly inaccessible that most people are simply too daunted to even try. Most media has a cohesive beginning and end (or at least, a planned end somewhere). Comics just... don’t.

But I do think it says something that, even among people who are clearly interested in the characters (since they have, you know, entire blogs about them), the effort to get into comics just seems to be too much to even bother. This really doesn’t bode well for the future of DC Comics. Obviously, I am no expert on anything at all ever, but I’d personally be surprised if DC survives beyond the few decades, at least in its current form/without a big overhaul.

4. But on the other hand, I don’t think the confusing state of DC Comics is the only thing to blame here. Fandom has a well-known problem with reducing any character down to archetypes to more easily ship and write fic/make content with. This problem is particularly prominent in fanfic, which, if you read enough of it, you’ll eventually start seeing not just the same tropes and trends, but essentially the same fics over and over again. And not just within the same fandom; everywhere, or every large fandom, at least.

Fanon Batfam is entirely built on a bunch of those tropes; insecure/depressed sadboy Tim, team mom with optional hidden trauma/emotional problems Dick, bad boy with a heart of gold + sadboy combo Jason, abused sadboy Damian/angry easily-villified-for-fic-reasons monster Damian, good dad Bruce for found family fic and bad dad Bruce for angst fic, etc. This all culminates in a found family dynamic that’s generic and malleable to whatever fic the writer wants to write.

(This isn’t getting into the ship fic, which I avoid like the plague because the vast majority of it is incest, but I’d bet real actual money that the tropes in those fics fall under what is often preferred by the Migratory Slash Fandom.)

By having a decent excuse not to get into canon (the inaccessibility of comics) and a, by now, well-established fanon fandom, many fans feel free to use the batfam fandom as essentially an excuse to write whatever fic with reduced archetypes and tropes they personally feel the itch to write, without having to bother with even consuming a canon. This is compounded by the fact that canon itself is often contradictory and frankly bad, meaning that whatever interpretation of a character you want/need to go for your fic is at least theoretically backed up by canon (for example, you can just as easily cast Bruce as an abusive shithole dad who his kids need to get away from as a loving father figure who cares deeply for his children), which you can always use as a defense if people question your characterization.

5. This focus on fandom trends and tropes over actual creativity or care for the characters is also visible in the way bigotry manifests in this fandom; namely, in literally the exact way you’d expect. The female characters and characters of colour are shuffled to the side, non-existent, vilified, and/or reduced to harmful stereotypes.

Barbara is probably the one I saw the most often in fanfic, but usually just as ‘Dick’s girlfriend’, and even then, she was often vilified for Dick angst (especially in fics about examining Dick’s trauma from his canon sexual assault; Kori also often gets the short end of the stick in those). After that, probably Stephanie, who fanon fans don’t really seem to know what to do with, so she’s basically just there as comic relief waffle girl, most of the time, though sometimes she can be used to either further Tim angst or further vilify Tim, whatever the fic calls for. Cass has gotten included more in batfam fics as of late, likely in response to critiques of fandom racism for leaving her out, but again, it’s clear people don’t actually know what to do with her. She’s often reduced to a racist stereotype of a quite, stoic therapist for whatever guy du jour needs it. That, or she’s in Hong Kong and just not there. Duke especially gets left in the dust in fandom, usually just being non-existent, but when he’s there, he’s almost always nothing more than the straight man for the actual fun characters to play off of. Talia probably has it the worst, though, and almost universally gets vilified by fanon stans in order to write sadboy Damian.

All of this is extremely predictable behaviour and falls entirely in line with general fandom misogyny and racism; ignoring or vilifying women and characters of colour, or using them as very minor characters at best. The only two characters of colour who aren’t regularly left out of fic are Dick and Damian, who are both also conveniently the two characters most often drawn and written in a whitewashed manner. In addition, there’s a real trend of demonizing Damian in fanon fics where he isn’t written as an abused sadboy, which I’d argue is in no small part due to fandom racism, considering Damian’s behaviour is in no way as bad as Jason’s, who doesn’t get anywhere close to the same demonization and gets woobiefied instead. I also find it convenient that Damian is probably the batboy who receives the most vilification in fic, when he’s the most obviously non-white of the batboys they’re willing to acknowledge.

Fandom often cries for more diversity in canon, only to ignore the diversity already there and focus on the same generic white guys. The batfam fandom is a brilliant example of this.

Which is not to say that fandom racism and misogyny isn’t present in the canon parts of the fandom (and canon itself); it absolutely 100% is. But I’ve found that canon fans are also more likely to like and care about at least one of the characters I’ve listed as ignored/vilified, and are willing to create and consume content for them, whereas fanon fans... aren’t, really. I’ve never seen a fan of fanon Cass the way I’ve seen fans of fanon Dick, for example. Obviously, this could just be by coincidence, or I’ve just surrounded myself with people like that, but it’s been a trend I noticed. Racism and misogyny is present in every part of this fandom and should be addressed as such, but I feel like it manifests the most blatantly in the fanon parts of this fandom.

(I’d also recommend the articles Migratory Slash Fandom’s Focus and Beige Blank Slates, which expand more on the type of fandom racism I think is especially prominent in the batfam fandom, as well as literally every article in the What Fandom Racism Looks Like series.)

6. All this leads me to conclude that the majority of fanon fans don’t actually like the characters all that much; they’re convenient excuses for them to participate in fandom. Which I also think is, in no small part, a reason why so many of them react so negatively to being told to pick up a comic; they came to this fandom specifically to consume it as a fandom, because they wanted the fandom experience without having to consume a canon.

This is not a phenomena unique to the batfam fandom (again, see the Migratory Slash Fandom), but it does fascinate me. While fandom is often said to be an experience focusing on transformative art, I think it’s also safe to say that, especially as fandom has become more mainstream, an increasing amount of people are looking to it less as a way to engage with their favourite pieces of media, and more as a type of media in and of itself. I think the reasons for this are similar to the reasons mass media entertainment like the MCU are so popular; you gain a lot of enjoyment out of it with very little risk involved.

By consuming the same fics of the same characters (or the same archetypes) over and over again, you are rarely at risk of being challenged or even disappointed. It’s often very clear right from the start whether or not a fic will appeal to you, and if it isn’t, it’s easy to just look for another one. It requires less emotional investment than most other types of media, even ‘popcorn media’ like the MCU - or, yes, DC Comics. It’s safe, it’s enjoyable, it’s comforting, like McDonalds, but just like McDonalds, it’s ultimately bland and unsubstantial.

7, TL;DR. Ultimately, I don’t think it’s like, wrong to enjoy the fanon version of the batfam without wanting to engage with canon, and I certainly don’t think it’s okay to harrass people over it. But I do think it’s in large part based on a desire to interact with fandom rather than other pieces of media because people are scared of being let down by those pieces of media (or worse, just uninterested in actually thinking), which is mildly concerning.

#long post #my posts #infodumping #btw i say this as someone who also has trouble consuming much more than popcorn media/fanfic due to emotional exhaustion #but it's not a healthy habit and it's something people can and should try to break out of #also obviously this isn't about EVERY fanon fan specifically so if this doesn't apply to you specifically great then move on

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