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#also she is really big on not talking about trauma until you’re ready to which is just so good to hear as someone who was retraumatised by
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Sometimes I feel crushing loneliness but then I play piano and it makes my soul go :-)
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http-paprika · 6 months
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Bite the Hand / Phillip Graves
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part four - belonging ⋆★⋆ the masterlist ⋆★⋆ previous ⋆★⋆ next
summary preparing to deploy on her first mission with the shadow company, frost begins to grow overwhelmed by the shift in her feelings.
werewolf!au / pairing phillip graves x female!reader / callsign frost / wc 1715 / warnings mentions of past trauma, alcohol, and light swearing
notes well, after weeks of painful writer's block, here we are! this chapter is what really sets the gears in motion to fling together frost and graves along with diving a bit more into frost's past which will play a big part in her relationship with graves. also, i don't know anything about military planes and deployments, so, this is definitely inaccurate, but i tried. the taglist is still open, if you want to be added, let me know.
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The Shadow Company armory, as Frost had come to learn, was always uncomfortably warm. She stood, shifting her weight from one foot to another as Erikson dug around the boxes of unassigned tactical vests and gear to find something that would properly fit her. During her training, she’d been in ill-fitting gear that she had to suffer with, but now as Graves and Lerch had greenlit her for her first mission, Frost needed to be properly fitted. 
 “And you’re sure that last vest didn’t fit?” Erikson asked her again, Frost looked over at the growing pile of discards, shaking her head. 
 “It’s not my fault I’m not as beefy as the rest of you.” She shrugged, wiping some of the collected sweat off her brow. Even with how much she’d been shifting in the past months, Frost didn’t compare to them. 
 “Yeah, yeah. I know.” Finally, he stopped digging. “Here we go, this should do.” Erikson handed over a dark green vest, slightly worn on the edges but otherwise unused. Without even trying it on, Frost knew it would fit. “I’ll talk to Rodgers, and get a new set of gear ordered for you. But for now, that’ll do.” 
 As she pulled it on, Frost examined the blood-type patch that sat right over her heart, it would have to be replaced to fit her own. “So, who did this belong to?” 
 “Some corpse probably.” Erikson darkly joked, observing as she secured the vest and its various buckles and velcro before moving onto the gloves, and padding. “Very nice, one would think this was made just for you.” 
 She smirked, pulling the gear off and brushing off the dust. “Whatever you say, Erikson.” Surveying the vest fully, she spotted sloppy writing on the inside, indicating the soldier it belonged to, but the writing had mostly been smudged away, and she decided against asking and not wanting her curiosity to bring back grief. Whoever it had belonged to, as Erikson had said, was long gone.
 “How are you feeling, about finally being shipped out?” He asked, leading her to a free locker where she’d store the gear until the following morning when they would embark on the mission. 
 “Strange. Unsure. But, I’m ready to be back in combat. Even if things here aren’t the same as they were in the Marines. There’s a lot less of a moral code I’m being held to, less guilt if I fuck up.” Frost admitted, putting everything up and closing the locker. In some ways, that made her even more nauseous, she wondered how wild she could be before Graves stepped in and scolded her.
 “Just don’t plan on being reckless, and you’ll be fine,” Erikson assured her, patting her on the shoulder. “Now, let’s get out of here before I sweat my entire ass off.”
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Under the red lights in the plane, the only way Frost could describe how she felt was antsy. The mask secured over her face felt like a muzzle, like an attempt to keep her from snapping. It kept her canines, which grew sharper by the day from shifting and the new diet of fresh, hot game meat, from showing. There would be no barring of her teeth today, even if she wanted to. 
“You okay?” Graves asked, stopping in front of her. He’d been moving through the plane, making sure his soldiers were ready to deploy, that the radios were live, and everyone was in place for the hunt. 
 “Yeah, m’fine.” She promised him, but Graves shook his head with a displeased look. He’d become too familiar with her facial expressions and the way her voice strained when she tried to hide the truth. But Graves was too kind to Frost to push for the truth. 
 “You look good,” He commented, quickly finishing the sentence when she cocked an eyebrow up at him. “-In the Shadow Company uniform and wearing our insignia. Like it was made just for you.” She nodded in response, quieter than usual. It wasn’t the normal anxiety Frost had first felt when she entered combat years ago. No, it was something she couldn’t quite put words to, a fear that settled when she looked back up at her Commander or over at her packmates who chatted amongst themselves quietly.
“Frost, you’re gonna be just fine out there. I’ll be right there—“ He taps the radio strapped to her tactical vest. “If you need me. Just a call away.” 
 “Let’s hope I don’t.” Frost joked, trying to ease her unknown stress. At her feet, the case with her sniper sat, reminding her that she was the eyes for her teammates, they’d rely on her shots and calls to keep them guarded, and safe. A daunting task. She’d done it hundreds of times, but the edge of nerves would not cease.
 “What’s going on in that loud mind of yours?” Graves tilted his head slightly, a few locks of sandy hair obstructing his direct and piercing gaze. Frost quickly looked down at the gun lying across her lap, trying to find an answer that made sense of everything she felt. Loyalty, bonded, brothers, her borrowed vest, sisters, the feel of her gloves against her palms, the pack, the smell of pine needles, pale blue eyes, and Graves. 
  As she opened her mouth to speak, Frost quickly closed it, overwhelmed by the words and emotions that filled her. She’d never known how much she craved a place to call her own and surrounded by the Shadow Company pack, she had. A bundle of warmth settled in the pit of her stomach, filling the hole that she’d blinded herself to.
Graves didn’t speak, he just tilted his head again in a way that fully captured her attention. “Well, when the cat finally lets go of your tongue, you always know how to find me.” He told her, a quick pat on her shoulder before he stepped away to speak to Lerch. Her eyes followed his figure, it was the only thing she seemed to focus on, not the countdown to her deployment or the itch in her hands. Just Phillip Graves.
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Hidden in the thicket of the woods, her breathing was masked by the loud calling of crows. The pungent smell of whiskey and motor oil overpowered anything else. She didn’t know where he was, she couldn’t hear him through the trees, but she knew he was coming after her. 
“Don’t hide from me, girl. I am your father!” He barked loudly, the butcher knife in his hand still coated with sheep’s blood, his white apron stained red. The thirteen-year-old girl felt hysteric, on the verge of tears with the fear of what he’d do to her. She hadn’t meant to talk back to him, speaking before thinking. But her remark had invoked his wrath. “I can smell you, girl. A runt like you can’t hide from me, your stench is all over these woods.” 
The words hailed down on her like nails pounded into her bones, catching her off guard and unalert for when he finally found her and yanked her out of the indigo bush by her forearm. She screamed, the sound curdling into a howl. Her body convulsed, bones being broken and reformed, the skin stretched and hair grew, teeth gnashing as she tried to free herself from his grasp. 
That was the first time she ever shifted.
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Frost woke with a start, the sound of the landing gears and loss of altitude dragged her out of her slumber, ears popped in the descent. Stretching, she moved away from whoever’s shoulder it was she had fallen asleep on, her cheek indicted from the shoulder of the tactical vest, she tried to push back the memory that had invaded her mind. She didn’t like to remember how it all began, when she was younger she used to dream it had never happened, hating that she was her father’s daughter. In his eyes, she didn’t belong, even if she had the same noise and sharp tongue. 
But she was no longer seen as her father’s daughter. The Shadow Company had become the only pack she would align herself with. There, she belonged.
“Thought you would sleep the whole time.” Dipaolo chuckled across from her as Frost brushed the hair out of her face. She’d shed the mask and gloves before falling asleep, allowing herself to freely be. “Surprised Graves let you.” 
Almost launching herself out of her seat, Frost looked over at Graves who sat next to her. He didn’t give any indication that he cared, whether that was a good thing or not, Frost was unsure. “She did a hell of a good job out there, Dipaolo. Maybe next time if you do a fraction of the work Frost did, I’ll let you sleep on my shoulder.” 
“Favoritism! I’ve been here for three years and you already like Frost more!” Dipaolo gawked. “It’s because she’s a woman, isn’t it?” 
“Stop getting pissy, Dipaolo. She’s just better.” Vance tells him, cutting into the conversation. The attention was directed away from Frost as her teammates bickered back and forth, allowing her to bury her face in her hands with embarrassment, a groan escaping her lips. 
“Frost, there’s no need to act embarrassed. We’re a pack, we help each other out. Even if it means offering a shoulder to sleep on.” Graves said to her quietly as the plane jolted, touching the tarmac. “You are hardly the first person who’s accidentally fallen asleep on mine. And unlike Oz, you don’t talk in your sleep. So I don’t mind.” 
“Why does that not surprise me?” But even with his reassurance, her cheeks felt hot, a rosy shade that was hidden in the dim light of the plane. It was like an itch she couldn’t ignore. It was a feeling that Frost hadn’t felt in years, one that had once suffocated her and torn her to shreds. 
But everything was different this time, she wasn’t that same scared girl. And Phillip Graves was like nothing she had ever known.
taglist @iamcautiouslyoptimistic @delusionally-loveless-by-choice @bacon-sandwich-of-dionysus @anna-banana27 @unicorngirly1
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hay1ock · 8 months
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Episode 4 of Only Friends
Well, that was quite the episode. I’m going to be discussing stuff that happened, so if you’re aware of anything in the episode that upsets you please bear that in mind. I don’t intend to be all in your face about it but people have different limits. I myself was fine with the episode on first watch, but the second time it really hit me how there are certain things about Ray I relate to and I had a bad time for a little while. But *deep breath* it’s all good now and I’m ready to ramble. Also, I feel like my thoughts are going to be bouncing all over the place with all the various moving parts and stuff that happened this episode.
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So, might as well get straight to it, the big one, Ray (+ Mew + Sand). Ray, the human version of the Poor Boy t-shirt. His whole breakdown in the bathtub about being unloved, unwanted, how he ruined his mom’s life, man Khaotung delivered. I’m guessing it might be a case of his mom getting pregnant was unplanned/inconvenient - like his mom had to give up her career, or maybe having him trapped her with a man she didn’t love or in a bad relationship, which in turn led to her drinking and ignoring him, and ultimately to her death. Based on the younger version of Ray, he was what? Mid teens maybe. He said high school so maybe 14-16 range. Was his mom like that since his birth or did it start later, she slowly began resenting him?
I’m glad Mew had enough about him to go round and check on Ray. (I know his friends get some crap - Boston rightly so - about not caring about him, but there is only so much they can do if Ray isn’t ready, as he needs to be willing to help himself) Ray’s little face and his voice when he saw Mew had come though… “You’re here?” Surprise/relief that he’d put his faith in the right person. Mew really had answered his cry for help. Ray deserves a big hug. It’s not hard to see why he cares about Mew, why he answered his phone, why he would support Mew’s relationship with Top even though he dislikes Top, and yes, I’m sure jealousy is part of it, but there is genuine concern about the kind of person Top is, and if he’s good enough. But yeah, whether it’s romantic love or something else, I’m not sure. I imagine it’s a bit of a mix. He sees Mew as having saved him so there’s probably a bit of seeing him as his hero, the only person who, up to that point (or that we know of), had shown any affection or concern for him and it might be those feelings warped into a romantic love, or maybe it’s just the desperate need to keep Mew close, keep that one ‘good’ relationship and person at his side and he has mistaken his feelings for love beyond that of friendship. Ray is a whole bag of emotions and trauma, and untangling those for him to explore his feelings about both his past and what’s happening now will be hard and most likely hurt him and people around him (and me!).
I’m glad we got to see what happened regarding the video and the kiss and well, to say I’m disappointed in Boston and Top is an understatement - will talk more about them later. Also, I know Boston is a bad friend, but seriously, knowing everything about Ray and still messing with his head last episode and even calling Ray a burden back in episode 1, Boston you are the absolute worst lol.
But anyway, the kiss, the one in the past. I’m sad Mew couldn’t return Ray’s feelings and it must have been hard to hear that he was perhaps the only thing that was keeping Ray from hurting himself. 2 years ago, so he’s 19/20 yrs old, being told that must have been rough and a lot of responsibility, and then the fear of what Ray might do if Mew rejected him. That change in music seems like a reflection of Mew’s anxiety of the situation. I do like Mew and that from what we’ve seen he is pretty straightforward and honest. He kissed Ray back, but as he’s said, up until Top, no one had been able to make his heart tremble. I wonder how things might have changed if he had felt something. Would Ray have been able to get a handle on his drinking? Despite 2 years passing, he’s still in the same place, maybe worse where his drinking is concerned. Could he have changed? Or would he just have made them both miserable? Guess we might end up finding out as him and Sand get closer.
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Skipping back to the present and ahhhh Ray nooooo. I don’t agree with him kissing Mew and am glad he was called out for his behaviour, but I do feel like I understand why he did it, or at least see why he might have. First, we had Boston messing with him, bringing his feelings of ‘love’ back to the surface and also adding fuel to his worries about Top - don’t be a side character, do something before it’s too late, ie save Mew from Top. We also have Mew, he’s told Ray he phoned Top for help first and he’s also trying to push Ray’s feelings towards Sand (I believe Mew was doing so with good intentions, wanting to see Ray happy and have someone now Top has taken a chunk of his time), but I feel like Ray pushed back against that. I believe he has been feeling something for Sand, even if just out of curiosity, but in a way that’s a betrayal to his feelings for Mew, the person he literally owes his life to. I imagine he’s confused and desperate to reaffirm that Mew is the one he loves. Mew is telling him to be with someone who loves and takes care of him and for Ray that person is Mew. So, I get it, but don’t agree with it. Glad he apologised again at the end and I’m glad Mew was able to accept the apology. I feel like he backed down from pressing Ray further about the ‘why’ behind the kiss, maybe not wanting to distress Ray who looked to struggle when Mew asked. I hope they can maintain their friendship. I know Ray can’t change how he feels about Mew overnight. Whether Mew fully knew about Ray still liking him, I’m not sure, but either way, it’s all out there now, so hopefully, Ray can move forward.
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And talking of where he should be heading in his attempt to move on, him and Sand. I don’t know if it’s because it’s First and Khaotung, or just the way they are portraying the characters, but they have the most ‘romantic’ chemistry at the moment for me (Nick and Boston has so far been more primal, sexual, and then Mew and Top… I don’t even know what theirs is, it’s mostly anxiety inducing is what. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like my stomach drops and both characters give off vibes of wanting control).
I love seeing Ray and Sand together. I love Ray’s puppy eyes. I love that Sand can’t say no to Ray’s puppy eyes. Sand seems a pretty strong-willed guy so if he really didn’t want to do something I’m sure he would say so. He had no problems communicating to Ray about how he felt at the music store and I’m glad he didn’t actually scold Ray and call him any names. There was just this strange sadness when Ray said ‘Burden on Society’. I don’t know if Sand sensed anything, but I think him discussing his boundaries, like with Ray wanting to buy him things, and that he isn’t something Ray can pick up to play with when he’s lonely to then forget about until the next time, I think Ray needs that. Other than money, we still don’t don’t know what kind of relationship he has with his father, or if he had any positive role models/relationships growing up that would help him learn about things such as boundaries and making real connections with other people, not just by throwing money around. I do believe Ray cares about Sand’s feelings, not necessarily because he sees him as special or for romantic reasons, but Sand is a person in his life now and it feels like Ray doesn’t intend to upset people on purpose, he wants to be cared for but also wants to be able to care for others, even as far as to ‘save’ them. I like that Ray is able to realise when he’s in the wrong and apologise, he did it in episode 1, and a couple of times in this episode. People make mistakes, not everyone can admit to them and apologise.
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The record store scenes were lovely. The conversation about music. The suggestion that Ray is stuck in the past with his mother’s music and his trauma, and with his feelings for Mew. That discovering new bands brings Sand happiness and the implication that Ray should do the same, step outside that damn room that he’s surrounded himself with his mom’s records and find something new to explore. To find himself a little bit of happiness. I loved the small smile from Ray as he seemed to be considering Sand’s words. Chronologically, we then have them listening to music and staring and hand touching. The way Sand looks at Ray *dreamy sigh*. It was nice to see Ray in a moment of peace, at least that’s what it felt like. A moment to just pause the world and as Sand said “let music do the work.” And so, after going to Mew’s to apologise, we’re then back in a bath tub, bookending the episode nicely. That flashback though, yet again, can not blame Ray for clinging onto Mew and what feelings he had for him. Ray of sunshine *cries* I interpret the end as him making peace with his feelings, or at the very least, realising that no matter what, nothing more can ever come from them and so it’s time to move on, even if he just takes a tiny step in the direction of the owner of the Poor Boy t-shirt. I really hope that no matter what heartbreak lies ahead, these two find a way to a happy ending together, even if it’s Ray goes to rehab, gets some therapy and we skip ahead however many months, and they meet up again afterwards. So a fresh start and we’re left hopeful they’ll work things out.
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Okay, that first part might have been way too long, but I’m bias towards Ray and so… that’s how I roll lol. The next bits might be shorter, or they might not lol. Next the Boston and Nick and Top (+ Sand) mess.
Boston, you are the worst. I mean, I kind of get filming your friends in a ‘haha look at these idiots, I’m so teasing them tomorrow’ kind of way, but still, dick move. And you know what another dick move is? Screwing with your friend’s kinda boyfriend (still confused on how long it’s been - under 3 months based on what Boston said last ep - and what Top and Mew consider themselves to be, as Top kept referring to Mew as his boyfriend last ep and this one and Mew complained about Top not introducing him as his boyfriend to Beam at the silent disco), and then for his ultimate dick move, we have Boston forcing himself on Top. I’m glad Top actively pushed Boston off him this time and told him a few home truths. I said before it feels more about Boston’s pride and some weird one-sided rivalry/jealousy. Like even in the flashback, he seemed to be competing with Ray, but also dragging Mew into the conversation with Cheum. Like ‘I can’t beat Ray, but what about Mew? I’m sexier and a better option than him right?’. Honestly, I feel like, if gmmtv would let us have nice things and let Neo and Khao out of the friends zone for a minute, Boston would be that guy to comfort Ray and maybe makeout/sleep with him just to show he was that little bit better than Mew - ‘at least I fucked ya’. He seems to have no remorse over anything at the moment. Whether he grows as a person or is a dick until the end, I guess we’ll have to wait and see. We got a nice bit of info about his dad if anyone was looking to really mess things up for him. Not looking at anyone in particular… Nick.
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So, Nick. Boston really should have changed his passcode after Nick fixed his phone lol. He is walking a dangerous line of obsession and I’m not sure exactly where he’ll fall by the end. He was like a smitten kitten in the first couple of episodes, and he looked at Boston with hope and adoration, but there was a significant difference in how Boston’s words worked (or rather didn’t seem to) this episode when they were together. It currently stands as him wanting to get Boston, for them to be in love, but, depending where both his and Boston’s games take them, I feel like it might just come down to him wanting to ruin Boston in the end. You don’t love me? Well sucks to be you. I am here for Nasty Nick and his obsessive listening to Top and Boston moaning (poor Sand though - he did not need to hear that lol) And then he brings Top into it, and in turn Sand (and we find out Top stole Sand’s ex - gonna assume that person will pop up at some point). Well, everybody will know about Top and Boston but Mew at this point. I have this horrible feeling when stuff comes out Ray will find out Sand already knew and that might be one of many reasons they have problems.
So Top and Mew. Their relationship is the strangest to me. It might be because as the audience we know more of what Top’s been doing behind Mew’s back, see more of his smug smirky face that I want to punch occasionally, whereas we don’t know that much about Mew as an individual, but I don’t know… *stares at them*. I know Top got Mew’s heart all a flutter but sometimes, I’m left questioning what Mew sees in Top and does he actually like him? They can have some ridiculously cute moments, the disco, the Photo Booth, in the shower. Then they have some really off feeling and tense, challenging each other moments, Top coming off as possessive and pulling him away from his friends, the reset scene at laser tag, the scenes at the end of this episode. I like that Mew isn’t a pushover but getting with Top seems exhausting to me.
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Another thing I like is that Mew doesn’t judge Top based on his past or who he’s slept with. Like I said Mew seems to be honest and straightforward and he wants Top to be the same with him. And I’m very much a judge you by what you do now not your past kind of person myself (obviously there are some exceptions to that). The plane in Top’s room got me curious. Is there a Boeing? I assume so as even before he told Mew and the only B I could think of at the time was Boston, I was like, surely not. Boston doesn’t seem in the least bit sentimental and not sure what a plane has to do with anything, but I did have second thoughts as the camera lingered and shifted focus from the plane to the model car that looks very much like Boston’s behind it. It might mean nothing, or maybe ‘Boeing’ will show up, the shot is framing two issues that can come between Top and Mew in the future - Boston and this Boeing person.
Top keeps pulling me in and has me thinking, okay maybe he is trying to be a better person, he just keeps fucking up, you know, like people do, and then just as quickly, I’m screaming trash at him. Where as Boston falls on the love to hate him side of villainy, Top keeps sticking his head over the line into just hate him territory. We’ll have to see where things go. I did think he’d called Beam over for sex at first, but not seeing the scene play out I wondered if it was something else - like just hang out, drink and sleep, as Top was clearly feeling guilty thinking back to moments with Mew and Boston, so I thought he might have trouble sleeping. As it was it was drugs. One way to knock yourself out I guess… whether it’s always just been drugs with Beam, looking back at the conversation at the silent disco, who knows, and I would have given him the benefit of the doubt, as I do want to believe he wants to change, but he’d already got arsey over Ray, Mew’s friend, being there and apparently not happy that he got his knickers in a twist over a kiss from 2 years ago, so was doubting Mew when he said it stopped at the kiss, and THEN initiated some weird deal for him stopping drugs. Again, we know more stuff than Mew, but with that music choice too, it felt all kinds of sleazy to me. If I was Mew I would not have been in the mood for sexy shenanigans, but hey, you do you, and hand jobs don’t have to be that deep. Fucking loved it when Mew said no penetration, take it or leave it lol.
OKAY. I think I’m done. There were probably other things I wanted to comment on, but the rambling was strong with this one lol. Looking forward to Episode 5.
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specialagentsergio · 3 years
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rationalizations
rationalizations: a defense mechanism in which one makes up a false but reassuring explanation to explain their behavior and/or feelings to both themselves and others, thus avoiding the reality of why they are really acting or feeling as they do.
summary: You’re the psych evaluation for Spencer. You think he’s full of shit, so you refuse to sign his clearance form until he actually tells the truth.
pairing: spencer reid x f!reader
category: angst (happy ending)
content warnings: spencer’s canonical trauma, flashbacks, mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation, swearing
a/n: i wrote this for @imagining-in-the-margins‘ enemies to lovers event. it’s not my favorite trope, but one of the prompts sparked inspiration for me. i also took a good amount of inspiration from meredith’s various therapy scenes in grey’s anatomy, so if some of it feels familiar, that’s why! i swear i intended to make this cute and funny, but, well… here we are lmao.
word count: 3.6k
masterlist
Spencer throws his bag onto his desk with a frustrated huff. It thumps loudly, startling JJ at her desk across from his. She gives him a sympathetic look regardless. “Still not cleared yet?”
“No!” Forgetting that it’s wheeled, he drops himself into his chair. It skids backwards and he has to scramble to grab something to keep from falling out of it.
“Careful there,” JJ says, trying valiantly to suppress a laugh. “That psychologist's got you really worked up, huh?”
“I don’t know what she wants from me!” he complains. “It’s been nearly a month! Hotch’s ex-wife was murdered by an unsub, but they cleared him. I was only shot in the neck.”
“I mean, that’s still kind of a big deal,” she says. “You could’ve died, from the gunshot, or from the nurse that tried to kill you afterwards.”
“Speaking of that nurse,” he starts, “Garcia is the one who shot him and she’s been a wreck over it. She insisted on going to the guy’s execution. But the therapist cleared her!”
“Penelope’s not in the field,” JJ points out.
He crosses his arms. “Still. This isn’t the first time I’ve been shot. That possibility is part of the job. It’s not like it came out of nowhere and I was completely unprepared for it.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Spence,” she says. “Just keep all of your appointments and I’m sure you’ll be cleared soon.”
He pulls a stack of papers on his desk towards him. Paperwork—one of the things he’s actually allowed to do. “I better be,” he mutters.
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“And it was really scary, you know?” Spencer wipes at his eyes with a tissue. “Not knowing if I was going to live or die.”
“Mm-hmm.”
He takes a deep breath. “But… it’s over now. The preacher who shot me died in the same shootout. Owen McGregor, the leader of the corrupt deputies, died later that night, in another shootout. And Greg Baylor, the one who posed as a nurse and tried to kill me, was sentenced to death row and he’s gone now, too.”
His psychologist makes a note on the paper in front of her, but doesn’t say anything, so he continues.
“I… I feel better now, just letting that out.” He takes a new tissue and dries his nose. “I feel ready now. Ready to go back to work.”
She nods slowly, considering him. But she doesn’t even look towards her desk where the clearance form sits, frustrating him to no end. After five minutes of silence, he breaks.
“You can’t be serious.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I’ve been coming to these sessions for over a month, and I’m still not cleared to be in the field. I…” He musters up more tears and makes sure his voice wavers during his next words. “I just don’t know what you want? I’ve tried everything.”
“No, you haven’t,” she says plainly.
He blinks in surprise, sending some of the crocodile tears down his cheeks. “What?”
She crosses her legs. “You’re full of shit.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re not being honest with me, and I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself either,” she says. “You’re a great actor. I can see how you’ve gotten clearances easily before. But that stops with me.”
Spencer stares at her. “I don’t understand.”
She moves her notebook to the side. “What happened in Texas isn’t the first time your life’s been in danger. Why do you think that is?”
“Wh—that’s part of my job,” he argues, fake crying long since forgotten.
“Not to the extent that you take it. I’ve read your file,” she says. “You take unnecessary risks with regularity.”
The tissues crumple in his hand as he clenches it. “I do not.”
“Let’s go back to the beginning.”
“The beginning of what?”
“Of your career.” Yet she doesn’t take out his file, or look at her notes. She speaks from memory. “2005. The BAU is assisting with a hostage situation. You go into the train, posing as someone who is there to remove a microchip from the unsub, but the first thing you do? You take off your bulletproof vest.”
“Okay, clearly you don’t understand what the situation was,” Spencer cuts in. “Ted Bryar was suffering from a psychotic break. He was somewhat unpredictable, and he told me to take off the vest.”
“And you just listened?”
“He—he had a gun, and was threatening both me and the other passengers with it!” he says. “What was I supposed to do, not listen?”
“Uh, yeah,” she replies. “You easily played into his delusions just a few minutes later to distract him. Why not do that to keep yourself safe?”
“I was twenty-four and was running on adrenaline,” he says defensively. “And it was my first time doing something like that. You can’t expect me to think of everything.”
“You’re right, I can’t,” she agrees. “So let’s jump forward a few years. How about the time you approached a teenager who was wielding an assault rifle with no protection, not even your own firearm?” she challenges.
“You mean Owen Savage? That was a unique situation,” he protests. “I knew I could talk him down.”
“No, you didn’t. You thought you had a good chance, but there’s no way to be one hundred percent sure of that. He was volatile, and on a killing spree,” she counters. “You didn’t know if you’d succeed--”
“I did!” He startles himself by unconsciously raising his voice, but he doesn’t apologize. “I did, because….”
“Because you related to him,” she fills in. “And that’s fine. Having empathy for an unsub doesn’t suggest something’s wrong in and of itself. But you still put yourself, and the rest of your team, in danger, didn’t you?”
He crosses his arms. “I got that lecture from Hotch when it happened, okay?”
“So then why’d you confront an unsub alone a few years later in Miami?” she asks. “You didn’t even tell anyone where you were going. You left your vest behind and just ran off.”
“I was having a head—wait, how do you even know that happened?” he questions. “It wasn’t in the report.”
“Well, first of all, you just confirmed it,” she points out, and he wants to kick himself. “Secondly, I can read between the lines.”
“I was having a headache,” he repeats. “I wasn’t thinking all that clearly. I just knew Julio’s life was in immediate danger, so I went to help him.”
“Uh-huh. More recently,” she says, brushing past his excuse, “You confronted your girlfriend’s stalker without your vest or gun.”
Spencer’s getting angry now. “I was trying to save Maeve. She asked me to leave them behind.”
“And you simply listened. Do you see the pattern I’m drawing here, Dr. Reid?” she asks. “These are just a few of the instances that stand out. Time and time again, you put yourself in unnecessary danger. So I’ll ask you again. Why do you think that is?”
Spencer looks over her—really looks over her, trying to understand what she’s getting at. “Are… are you suggesting that I’m suicidal?” he asks quietly.
She looks him straight in the eye. “You don’t act like someone who wants to be alive.”
It’s like she set off a bomb in his brain. Memories, and the feelings attached to them, emerge—Elle handcuffed to a seat, a teenager with a rifle, a blinding headache, Maeve and blood on the warehouse floor.
“Here’s what I see,” she says. “I see a man who’s been through so, so much. Your mother is mentally ill, your father left--”
His father is packing a suitcase. Spencer doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do or say, so he falls back on what he knows.
“Statistically, children who grow up in two-parent households attain three more years of higher education than children from single-parent households.”
It doesn’t help. “We’re not statistics, Spencer.”
“Your file says she’s staying at an institution, and with your father out of the picture, I can only assume you were the one who had her admitted--”
“Spencer, please don’t do this to me!” she cries as she’s escorted out of the house by Bennington Sanitarium’s transport staff.
“A few years into your work here at the FBI, you were kidnapped, tortured and drugged--”
He’s tired and cold and his whole body aches. Tobias—the real Tobias—looms over him with a syringe.
“Please. I don’t want it,” he pleads of his captor. “I don’t want it, please.”
The needle punctures his skin regardless.
“—you were held hostage by a cult leader--”
Emily sits across from him on the plane with a black eye. “What Cyrus did to me is not your fault.”
He pretends to agree.
“—you went through the death and reappearance of Agent Prentiss--”
He’s tried to make it clear to Jennifer that he wants to be left alone, but she won’t stop trying to talk about it with him, and he’s had enough.
“I came to your house for ten weeks in a row crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth.”
“—and your girlfriend was shot in front of you.”
“Who’s Thomas Merton? Who is he?” Diane demands, gun pressed against Maeve’s head.
“He’s the one thing you can never take from us,” Maeve replies, and Spencer’s heart drops. Thomas Merton is Maeve’s way of saying goodbye—she’s giving up.
“Wait!” he cries out, but it’s too late.
“This is just some of the more traumatic stuff. And then there’s what happened last month, which is why you’re here. You present a face of not being bothered by all of this, because that��s what you’ve been doing all your life, but I think you are bothered. You really, really are. And you don’t want to admit to anyone just how much it all has affected you. Maybe you don’t even want yourself to know.” Her expression and tone of voice are certain.
Spencer can’t take it anymore. The whirlwind of emotions and memories is overwhelming.
“The number of times you’ve almost died is staggering--”
“Yeah, and sometimes I wish I had!” He glares at her, breathing heavily. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”
But she doesn’t seem intimidated or alarmed at all. She leans back in her armchair. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”
The response only serves to make him angrier. She questioned him relentlessly and made him admit something he swore in the dark hours of sleepless nights that he’d never think again, never voice, let alone admit to anyone. She forced it out of him, forced. She made him say it against his will.
So why does he feel a sense of relief?
“I…” Tears well up in his eyes—real ones this time. “I’m done,” he chokes out.
He pushes himself off of the couch and out the door, slamming it shut behind him.
---
He storms in Hotch’s office and demands to see a different psychologist. But she was one step ahead of him—a few hours before the appointment, she had emailed Hotch and told him that under no circumstances should Spencer be allowed to get a clearance from someone else.
“And you’re going to believe her?” he cries.
“She’s doing her job, Reid.”
“You barely know her! You’ve known me for a decade!”
“Yes, I have,” Hotch agrees. “And you’ve told me yourself that you’ve fooled psychologists and therapists before. So if this one is saying you’re not ready yet, I’m inclined to believe her.”
Spencer just stares at him, but as usual, Hotch doesn’t blink.
“Unbelievable,” Spencer eventually mutters.
“Take the rest of the day off,” Hotch replies, glancing down at fists Spencer hadn’t realized he was clenching.
“Fine.”
Too agitated to stand in the elevator, he takes the stairs. As he stomps down them, he swears he’ll never go back to her office, even if it means never going into the field again.
A week passes, then two, and he hasn’t seen the psychologist since. But he doesn’t feel any better—he actually feels worse. It’s like her words broke a dam in his mind, in his gut, and feelings of unease and uncertainty won’t pass. It keeps him up at night. Her words echo in his head. “You don’t act like someone who wants to be alive.”
Spencer’s had yet another sleepless night and is struggling not to doze off at his desk despite the coffee he’s drinking. He stands up with the intention of splashing some water from the bathroom sink on his face, but his feet take him somewhere else.
He stares at the nameplate on the door. He swore he’d never go back, yet he feels compelled to knock.
It only takes her a few moments to answer. “Dr. Reid. Can I help you?” she asks.
“I…” He sighs. “Are you busy?”
“No. Come on in.” She steps to the side, opening the door wider to let him pass. He sits down on the couch.
She waits patiently. She doesn’t rush him. She lets him speak first.
He wrings his hands in his lap, staring down at them. “Something you said is bothering me.”
“What was it?”
“About… living,” he admits quietly. “I… I think you might have been right.”
When he gets the courage to glance up at her, he finds a soft smile on her face. “Would you like to talk about it?”
Spencer hadn’t realized he was expecting judgment and disdain until it didn’t happen. His shoulders slump down in relief. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, I think I would.”
---
“You’re still thinking about her, aren’t you?”
Spencer looks up from his paperwork, slightly out of it, to find Derek watching him. His coworker had, indeed, caught him thinking about her again. His psychologist. Well, former psychologist. After his second session back with her, she’d handed over a clearance form and a referral to a therapist outside the bureau to see long-term.
“And you better follow up with that,” she’d told him, the corner of her mouth turning up despite her serious tone of voice. “I’ll know if you don’t.”
He’d promised that he would, and had followed through. But despite the progress he was making with the new therapist, he was feeling a little disappointed that he didn’t get to see her anymore. He only saw her in passing, sometimes in the elevator or walking down the hallways of the building. They would exchange hellos, she would ask how he was doing, then give him a little wave as she left. Each time his heart would skip a beat, and he’d feel an urge to follow her to wherever she was going.
Yet he hadn’t quite realized why he seemed to be preoccupied with her until a dream he had a few weeks ago—a dream in which he found himself kissing her. Despite being alone in his bedroom, he’d woken up feeling embarrassed. He promised himself that he would put her out of his mind. Having a crush on his psychologist? It was ridiculous.
But then he saw her in the elevator a few days later and he couldn’t help but analyze her body language. It was open, and she twirled her hair around a finger while she looked at him to ask him how he was. A few other people entered the elevator on the next floor, but her attention remained on him. They were subtle signs, but signs that he recognized nonetheless—signs of attraction. And once he started seeing them, he couldn’t stop.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Spencer tells Derek, picking back up the pen he hadn’t noticed he dropped.
“You can’t pull that on me, kid,” he replies. “It’s your psychologist. You can’t stop thinking about her, can you?”
Spencer sighs. “So what if I can’t?”
“So go ask her out already!” Derek says like it’s obvious.
“You don’t think that’s just a little inappropriate?”
“You’re not seeing her as a client anymore, are you?” he points out. “Go for it, kid. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”
Spencer takes the advice—as soon as Derek said it, he knew he was right. He would regret not taking a chance on her and the connection he felt. Sure, she’d helped him with therapy, but it went deeper than that. It feels like she knows him.
He leaves the bullpen ten minutes early that evening, hoping to catch her before she leaves for the day. On her doorstep, he feels just as nervous as he did on the day he admitted that she was right, but it’s a different kind of nervous. An excited nervous. He knocks on the door.
She’s surprised when she seems him. He watches as her pupils dilate, and it boosts his confidence. “Dr. Reid. Can I help you?”
“You can. I’d like to talk,” he says.
“Oh. Well, I guess I could do that,” she says. “I thought things were going well with the therapist I referred you to, though.”
He shakes his head. “No, I don’t mean I want an appointment.”
Her eyebrows come together in confusion. “Okay, then, what do you want?”
Spencer doesn’t hesitate. “I want to take you out to dinner.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I really like you, and I think we’re meant to be together,” he replies, voice softening a bit.
She pauses before answering. When she does, her voice is gentle. “Dr. Reid, sometimes a medical professional’s care can start to feel like affection over a period of time, but--”
“No one has ever listened to me like you do,” he interrupts.
“That’s my job,” she points out.
“I’ve seen therapists before, but none of them have been like you,” he counters. “You understand me.”
She sighs. “Well, I’m glad I was a good fit and was able to help you. But that doesn’t mean that I see you as anything more than a client.”
“You’re lying.”
“Excuse me?”
“You do feel something more for me,” he says firmly, but then backtracks a little. “Well, I know you’re attracted to me at least.”
She blinks and shakes her head slightly, take aback. “Dr. Reid, this is not appropriate--”
“Please call me Spencer,” he says, then jumps into his explanation. “See, when we’re attracted to someone, our bodies display involuntary signals, and I’ve seen you do some of them when you’re around me. Whenever we run into each other here, your body will turn a little towards me and you’ll play with your hair. Your attention is almost entirely focused on me. And, when you see me, your pupils dilate. They did it when you opened the door just a few minutes ago. Oh, and I’m attracted to you, by the way,” he adds as he realizes how one-sided he’s been. “I imagine my pupils probably dilate when I see you, too.”
Her mouth opens and closes a few times, like she wants to speak but doesn’t know what to say. She looks flustered, and he wonders if maybe he’s pushed it too far or said too much, but he can’t turn back now. “So, please, let me take you out,” he says quietly. “Just… just give it a chance.”
She bites her lip and looks at the ground. There’s a crease between her eyebrows, which he’s come to learn means she’s thinking. She speaks seriously when she looks back up. “If I go out with you, I can’t treat you anymore. If you ever need another evaluation or session, you’d have to get it from someone else.”
“I know,” he says. “I get along well with the therapist you referred me to, though. And having to get clearance from a different psychologist at the bureau is something I’m willing to give up in favor of getting to know you better.”
She considers him. “You’re serious about this,” she states.
It’s not a question, but he answers it anyways. “I am.”
She tilts her head to the side, eyes unfocusing as she ponders the situation. Eventually, she says, “Let me think about it.”
It’s not exactly the answer he was hoping for, but he’ll take it.
---
It’s only six PM, but Spencer is already exhausted. He unlocks his apartment door, fully intending to collapse onto his bed, but instead receives a pleasant surprise in the form of his girlfriend waiting for him on the couch. He can’t help but smile.
“Sweetie, what are you doing here?” he asks, then adds, “Not that I’m complaining.”
“Penelope told me it was a bit of a rough case,” she replies. “And I missed you.”
She holds out her arms and he takes the invitation, joining her on the couch and laying down between her legs, placing his head on her chest. “I missed you, too.”
Her next words are overly familiar. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Hey, we agreed to no therapy,” he says. “Something about I can’t be your client anymore?”
She huffs. “This isn’t therapy. This is being a good partner.”
Spencer smiles into the fabric of her shirt, snuggling in closer. “I know, I’m just teasing you. I don’t need to talk about the case,” he says, finally answering her original question. “I feel fine now that I’m here with you.”
She lets out a pleased hum and starts running her fingers through his hair. “I ordered take-out for dinner, by the way.”
“Where from?”
“You know where.”
A wide grin spreads across his face. She must have ordered take-out from the restaurant he took her to on their first date. He lifts his head to look her in the eye. “Aren’t you glad you said yes to me all those months ago?”
“Oh, I suppose,” she says with pretend annoyance, rolling her eyes.
Then she kisses him.
Spencer’s never been so happy to be alive.
---------------
tell me what you thought here!
please note that i DO NOT ENDORSE asking out your therapist/former therapist. this is fanfiction. thank you.
general taglist: @calm-and-doctor​ , @spencerreid9​
402 notes · View notes
ohworm-writes · 3 years
Text
BNA: Brand New Animal Relationship Headcanons!
bna masterlist
‼ General Dating Headcanons ‼
Featuring: Shirou Ogami, Michiru Kagemori, Nazuna Hiwatashi, Marie Itami, Pinga
Warnings: spoilers for BNA!, some angst amongst all of them, but mainly tooth-rotting fluff :,)
a/n - thank you for reading!!! BNA doesn’t have enough fanfiction content, so here you go!! i actually adore doing headcanons, so this was nice to be able to write!!! BNA is also my favorite/comfort anime soooooo I couldn't NOT write something for it!!! if you want to see more BNA related works, i’m definitely going to be open to writing them in the future!!! my requests open up next week, so drop one then if you’d like!!! thank you for reading <3
content below the cut!
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shirou ogami
» wolf husband!!
» oh we all know he’s gonna be nervous when it comes to love
» he’s scared he can’t trust you at first
» it’s probably gonna stay that way until he gets comfortable with you
» which, albeit, takes quite a while
» but when he does?
» he’s all over you!!
» i like to think he’s a very cuddly person
» he doesn’t show it a lot though, but for you?
» he’ll let it slide
» he’s not one for extravagant gestures though
» so if you’re going on dates
» expect it to being either at his place, or something extremely simple
» i don’t think he’d be particularly for PDA
» but if someone were to flirt with you?
» he won’t be afraid to show them that you’re with him
» again, very cuddly
» he likes to be big spoon cause he wants to make you feel safe
» but he also likes to be held
» the memories of his comrades dying is a memory that’s painfully engraved into the very fibers of his being
» so please show him some love
» kisses!!!!
» oh he LOVES to smother you with kisses
» he’s very affectionate in private
» he just loves you so much!!!
» i like to think that michiru got the two of you together
» just like
» michiru: hey look at that beastman over there! they’re super pretty!!!!
» shirou: yeah, sure
» michiru: i’m going to go say hi
» shirou: w h a t
» also, going back to trauma-
» he doesn’t like to talk about it much
» it brings up bad memories
» so he won’t outwardly talk to you about it
» but if you want to console him?
» you’re one of the few people he can really trust and get vulnerable with
» VERYYYY LOYAL PARTNER
» he loves you, and is so scared of you leaving him
» he would never think about cheating on you (the best boy)
» maybe it ties in with him being a wolf beastman-
» shhhhhhhhhhhh
» very very very nervous to tell you that he’s the silver wolf
» he’s so scared you’re going to leave him or hate him or look at him different
» but the sweet kiss you give him when he tells you melts all of his worries away
» GIVE HIM PETS!!!!!!!!!!
» he’s embarrassed but he loves it!!!!!!!!
» his love language is quality time!!!!!!
» he just wants to spend time with you
» he’ll go out of his way to blow off unimportant things (like michiru-) just to be with you
» softie-
» but we love him <3
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michiru kagemori
» AHHH MY SWEET GIRL!!!!
» i love her oh so much
» if she likes you, it’s obvious
» painfully so-
» she gets all flustered before you start dating whenever she talks with you
» tripping over her words
» making a fool of herself
» (somehow more than usual-)
» but when you express you like her back?
» you’re stuck with her
» loves cutesy dates!!
» you wanna just watch a movie???
» she’s got a pillow fort and a ton of snacks at the ready
» you wanna go for a walk?
» you’re dancing with her under the stars in the park
» she’s a sucker for that kind of stuff
» she loves showing you off too
» michiru: everyone, this is my partner, y/n, and they are the best person in the world
» y/n: michiru i-
» she absolutely introduces you to everyone like that
» she loves you too much not to express it!!!
» that leads me to her love language…
» words of affirmation!!!
» she’s going to tell you she loves you at any chance she gets
» and if you’re ever insecure?
» she’s your girl
» she’s also big on physical touch
» loves holding your hand out in public
» hugging you and peppering your face with kisses
» the whole lot!
» she’s such a goofball-
» she’d do something stupid just to make you laugh
» michiru: Y/N! I GREW WINGS! AM I GOING TO LAY AN EGG OR SOMETHING???
» when she first told you she wasn’t a real beastman, she was nervous
» but it all washes away when you hold her and tell her you love her no matter what
» she’d definitely cry at that
» she’s so grateful to have you
» and she would go to any extent just to make you happy
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nazuna hiwatashi
» GOD SHE’S SO PRETTY I’M NOT EVEN GONNA LIE
» she’s a very caring partner
» when you first start dating though, she’s very nervous
» will you hate her for faking the silver wolf?
» or maybe because of her slightly dismissive behavior?
» but when you decide to stay? she know’s shes in love
» her love language is touch!
» she always wants to be touching you
» she’s not the best at expressing her love or gratitude through words
» so she lets the soft caresses, forehead kisses, and cuddles do it for her!
» oh i can imagine her being a cuddle bug
» just holding you while the two of you fall asleep
» or you holding her!
» she adores just being able to be near you
» when she introduces you to michiru
» it’s chaos
» y/n: in my defense, I was left unsupervised
» nazuna: wasn't michiru with you?
» michiru: in my defense, I was also left unsupervised
» just being absolute idiots together
» back to nazuna though…
» she gets jealous easily!!!
» you can’t change my mind
» if she thinks you’re giving someone too much attention
» she won’t be afraid to just come in and hug you until you pay attention to her
» it’s adorable
» with the church of the silver wolf tho…
» you probably met AFTER that was all said and done
» she doesn’t really have followers anymore
» and a few beastman still hold a grudge against her
» she gets insecure because of it
» make sure to tell her that you love her for her
» she really needs to hear it
» oh! she loves any romantic gestures
» fancy dates? walks in the park? sign her up!
» she loves too much not to show it
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marie itami
» crime weasel
» cbhmasbbchasb okay but seriously i love her
» i like to think that she’s sly with her flirting
» but if you flirt back?
» she’s a flustered mess
» she lovesssss pet names
» she particularly likes using “baby”, “love”, “sweetheart”, and “hun”
» loves if you use some back
» her love language? acts of service
» she loves to help you with small tasks
» opening the door for you? absolutely. grabbing the remote for you? of course!
» she wants you to know she loves you, but mainly in smaller gestures
» not as much of a cuddle bug as the rest, but definitely appreciates it
» she’d never turn you down for hugs or pecks
» any time she has by herself, she wants to spend it with you
» her dates aren’t extravagant though
» cuddling on the couch and watching a movie are her specialty
» i like to think that she usually falls asleep after you
» she’ll talk with you until you eventually fall asleep
» it’s more of a protective thing if anything
» she wants to make sure that you’re okay before she rests
» she loves you so so so much
» you’re the only person she’s allowed herself to be vulnerable with
» she has her own insecurities yes, but she tends to bottle them up
» she doesn’t want to bother you
» she’s better at listening and giving advice than venting it out
» it’s not your fault, she’s just not very keen to it
» she likes to keep your relationship more private than anything
» her job is… not normal, and she doesn’t want to eventually end up making the wrong people mad and get you hurt
» so PDA is kept to a minimum
» but she’ll always make up for that in private
» telling you how much she loves and appreciates you being with her
» she doubts your relationship sometimes, thinking that you deserve better
» tell her you love her
» that you really love her
» and her heart is yours
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pingua
» your honor
» i love him
» oh my goodness his love language is totally gift giving
» 100%
» you cannot change my mind
» if you look at something in a store for more than 3 seconds
» expect it to be in your possession by the next day
» he won’t say he did it
» but he totally did it
» taking you on flights???
» yes pLEASE!!!!
» he loves showing you the world from his eyes
» and adores it if you love it as much as he does
» wing hugssssss
» imagine him just draping his wings around you while you guys cuddle
» my heart-
» wait, here me out-
» y/n: mcdonalds! mcdonalds! mcdonalds!
» pingua: mcdonalds! mcdonalds! mcdonalds!
» HE WOULD THOUGH AND YOU CAN’T CHANGE MY MIND
» not afraid to get vulnerable with you
» he’ll talk about his comrades and the stupid regulations with ease
» yes, it’s a tough subject
» but you have to talk about difficult things to get through them
» he has nightmares because of it
» he wakes up in cold sweats sometimes, those images ingrained into his head
» hold him
» please
» tell him that you’re here and you’re not going anywhere
» give him kisses and help him ride it out
» aside for that, another goofball
» loves, and i mean LOVES making you smile
» also a HUGE flirt
» he’s cocky about it too
» pingua: aside from being adorable, what do you do for a living?
» y/n, dying: cjsdbivcbhshdkcjbakjcbhsadbmc
» another one who loves romantic gestures
» i like to think that he’s quite the gentleman
» restaurant dates and dancing are right up his alley
» but dear god he loves you so much
» he has no clue where he’d be without you in his life
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565 notes · View notes
triptuckers · 3 years
Text
Honesty - Kaz Brekker x reader
Request: oh hell yea "I saw we could send in requests which you don’t need to tell me twice bc I have some things in mind if that’s okay? I had an idea for a Kaz x female reader where he’s had feelings for you for the longest time but has never acted upon those feelings due to his trauma. Until one day something doesn’t go as planned during a Dregs job because his thoughts are with you and he lost his focus for just a moment. This is the moment he realises he has to talk to you about his crush on you but when he looks for you he notices you somewhere secluded in the arms of Jesper making out. How would he react to the fact that the girl he has had feelings for has been secretly dating his right hand? Lots of angst if that’s okay? 😬" Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader (plus some slight Jesper x reader) Summary: When Kaz finally figures out his feelings for you, and wants to tell you about it, he finds something he wasn't prepared to see Warnings:  angst oh god so. much. angst. let's see what else uhh mentions of violence, bruises, language, kaz being a lil jealous jerk Word count: 2.6K A/N: this is the one yall I got this request and HA I was so ready to write some heartbreaking angst, get ready for this one (also I wasnt sure if I had to tag this as kaz x reader of jesper x reader, but as you can see I went with kaz) TAG LIST (grishaverse): @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15 @dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha @story-scribbler @romanoffstarkovs @daliareads @meiitanoia @itsnotquimey @sanktaesperanza @whymyparentscheckmyphone @aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1 @marlenaisnthappy TAG LIST (Kaz Brekker): @mufnasa @Janesofia7 @stairscortana add yourself to my tag lists here
Because it was a one-person kind of job and it involved picking quite a few locks, Kaz told the crows to take the night off, while he took care of it.
Given that it was very rare for Kaz to tell you all that you could have the night off, neither of you was stupid enough to question it. Instead, you all wished him good luck and took off to do all those things you normally missed out on when you were away on a job.
Everyone trusted Kaz to be able to handle a simple job on his own. You'd spend enough time with him to know he'd be alright.
And he was.
It was indeed a simple job, all Kaz had to do was sneak into a merchant's home, pick the lock of the safe in the office, steal an important contract between two merchants, and get out.
Part of him liked the solitude of wandering around a big house in the dark. But another part of him wished you'd be there with him. Kaz had shook his head to get you out of his mind, and continued to do the thing he needed to do.
After successfully completing the job and getting the contract he needed, Kaz is standing in front of a closed door, listening for any sounds in the hallway on the other side of the door.
His minds wanders off to you again.
You'd wished him good luck before he walked out the door, and you'd given him one of you signature smiles. Saints, he loved your smile.
He was sure you could fix anything, all you had to do was smile at him. You comforted him in so many ways, and you probably had no idea. Though you could figure it out if you sensed something was going on.
The clues were all right there, all you had to do was find out all the times he asked for you help were all just excuses to be able to spend more time with you.
It was stupid, really. He would invite you up to his office to go over plans for a job, even though he had figured it all out already. He'd pair the two of you on jobs. He did anything to be able to spend time with you.
A cloud slowly moves through the night sky, allowing the moon to illuminate the room. The sudden light abruptly brings Kaz back to reality.
He'd been standing in front of the door for way too long, just thinking about you. He curses himself for losing his focus. For allowing himself to get so lost in his thoughts on you.
Kaz really needs to do something about it. It's almost embarrassing how starstruck he is by you. And he really can't have you distract him on a job like that again, even if you're not in the room with him.
After listening again for sounds in the hallway, Kaz slowly pushes the door open. Upon discovering the hallway is empty, he steps out of the office and makes his way to the front door of the house.
All the way back to the Slat, he's thinking of ways on how to tell you. He's never been really good at talking about his feelings. And he wants to make sure he tells you the right thing. The last thing he wants is to stutter to try and find the words to say to you.
Eventually, he settles on just getting you alone first. He'll figure out what to say after that.
The walk to the Slat takes a while, given that the Barrel is on the other side of Ketterdam. His leg starts to ache but he ignores it, he'd endured worse.
When he finally sees the Slat in the distance, he notices there are still some lights burning. The window of your room is dark. Kaz hopes you're just sitting downstairs.
But when he enters the kitchen, it's nearly empty. Except for Nina, who is sitting there having a cup of tea before bed.
'Hey!' she says. 'How'd it go?'
In response, Kaz shows her the folded piece of paper.
Nina grins. 'Told you it would be an easy job for you.' she says.
'It was.' says Kaz. 'Have you seen Y/N?'
To his surprise, Nina starts smirking.
'Oh yeah, I've seen Y/N.' says Nina. 'She went out back a while ago.'
Kaz moves to walk to the back door but Nina speaks up again.
'Kaz, I wouldn't do that if I were you.' says Nina. 'I don't think she wants anyone to see her.'
He gives her a confused look, not noticing the playful look in Nina's eyes. He then starts to worry about you. Did something happen to you? Why didn't you want anyone to see you?
Kaz quickly walks to the door and opens it, ignoring Nina who yells at him not to do so. He abruptly freezes in the doorway.
You're indeed there, but you're not alone. A tall figure, who Kaz quickly identifies as Jesper, has you pinned to the wall of the alley.
Aside from the street lamp, it's completely dark. It's hard to tell which limps belong to you and which ones belong to Jesper.
Kaz just stands there, rooted to the spot. He can't move. He just stands there, watching the girl he fell in love with kiss another man. And it's not just any other man, it's Jesper.
The cheerful sharpshooter who had been his right hand for so long. He'd been by Kaz' side for years, joining the Dregs just shortly after you had. Jesper had managed to save Kaz a number of times with his quick shooting. And now he's standing there, kissing you.
Kaz feels sick, like he's going to throw up. Like the air got knocked out of his lungs all at once. The world is spinning. This must be some bad dream, he was asleep and this is a nightmare, it isn't real.
But then you finally seem to notice something is going on.
You pull away from Jesper and look past his arm, to see Kaz standing there with a bewildered look on his face.
'Kaz?' you say, not letting go of Jesper. 'Are you alright? Did something happen on the job?'
Jesper turns around as well now, curiously looking at Kaz.
Instead of looking at you and answering you, Kaz turns his attention to Jesper. The sick feeling in his stomach fades away and gets replaced by anger. Jesper had the guts to kiss you, his girl.
Rage takes over, the same kind of rage that had gotten him the name Dirtyhands. It flashes like a red light in front of his eyes. Without wasting another second, Kaz raises his cane and jabs one of Jesper's legs, sending him to the ground.
'What the fuck, Kaz!' you yell at him.
You rush over to Jesper's side, but Kaz roughly shoves you away with his cane, kneeling next to the taller boy. He angrily looks at him, gritting his teeth.
'You don't get to kiss her just because I can't.' says Kaz in a low voice.
Both you and Jesper look confused, having no clue wat Kaz is talking about.
'Saints, what on earth are you talking about?' says Jesper, rubbing the sore spot on his leg.
'She belongs with me, and you can't kiss her because I can't- because I won't- I forbid you from it.' says Kaz.
You look at Kaz, not believing what you're hearing. You'd never seen him like this, so angry, so full of rage. And you'd never seen him use his cane to hurt his crows before.
'I don't know what the fuck you are talking about.' says Jesper. 'But I'd appreciate it if next time, you'd say something instead of using that damned cane of yours. Now if you could excuse us, we went out back to have some privacy.'
Kaz' eyes widen in anger and you watch in horror as he raises a fist and swings it down, hitting Jesper's cheek hard. Before he can strike again, you catch a hold of Kaz' arm and drag him away from Jesper.
You drag him all the way back through the door and into the kitchen. Nina looks up, probably having heard something was going on. It takes one look from you for her to hurry up the stairs, leaving you alone.
You take Kaz over to one of the tables and roughly push him into a chair.
'Stay here.' you say as you glare at him.
Kaz, a feeling of numbness washing over him, doesn't protest.
You walk out the door again and he can hear you softly talking to Jesper. A while later, you and Jesper walk into the kitchen. Kaz sees a bruise is already forming on Jesper's cheek, right where he hit him.
Jesper looks at Kaz with a mixed expression of pain and confusion on his face.
You find some ice and put it on Jesper's cheek.
'Keep that on there.' you tell him. 'Go upstairs, I'll come to your room in a second. I have to talk to Kaz first.'
Jesper nods and as soon as he's out the door, you furiously turn to Kaz.
'You're going to tell me what the fuck that was about right now. No lies, no excuses, you're going to tell me the truth. Now.' you say, dragging out a chair and sitting down in front of Kaz.
'You don't get to kiss her because I can't?' you say, repeating the words he said earlier. 'What the hell was all that about?'
Normally, Kaz knows exactly what to say. All the time. He's always got an answer ready. But whenever it's just the two of you, it's like he forgets how to talk.
'Well?' you press on. 'Say something, for Saints sake!'
When he still doesn't say something, you slam your hand down on the table, and Kaz flinches slightly. You never got this angry.
'I don't want to see Jesper kissing you because I want to do that. That should have been me.' says Kaz.
'Well you can't even take your damn gloves off, did you really think you'd be able to kiss me?' you say in a cold voice.
'With time, maybe.' says Kaz.
You sigh and softly shake your head. You've been part of the Dregs for years. You care a lot about Kaz. But the bond you have with him is just not a romantic one. Apparently, Kaz didn't think so.
'You fucking hit Jesper.' you say, your voice less loud. 'He's going to have a bruise on his cheek.'
'I was angry.' is all Kaz says.
'Clearly.' you say. 'You need to apologise to him.'
Kaz looks at you. 'Yes, Kaz, you have to say you're sorry.' you say.
When Kaz gets up, you stop him.
'Not now.' you say. 'He doesn't want to see you.'
Kaz sits back down again and starts to avoid your gaze. After sitting in silence for a while, you sigh.
'Why'd you have to do it?' you wonder out loud.
'I don't know.' says Kaz. 'Just- seeing someone else kiss you like that, it made me so angry. Like something snapped inside of me.'
'If your really feel the way you say you feel about me, why didn't you say something sooner?' you say.
'I was scared.' admits Kaz. 'That you wouldn't have me because I wouldn't be able to kiss you, to touch you.'
'Physical affection isn't the only thing in a relationship.' you say.
'I know, I know, I just-' 'Kaz.'
He finally looks at you and you can see he's hurt. But you'd rather tell him the truth than lie to protect his feelings.
'Even if you would be able to touch me, a relationship would have never worked. Not for me, at least. I'm sorry, Kaz, I'm not going to sugarcoat it.' you say. 'I love you and I care about you, but not like that. I'm in love with Jesper. We didn't tell you or the other crows because if word gets out, people will see it as one of our weaknesses. I don't want to know what they'd do to get to me, or to get to Jesper.'
You look at Kaz, scanning his face for a reaction. He's letting your words sink in, thinking about them.
'Look, Kaz, I'm sorry. I'd rather tell you the truth than lie to make you feel better. I love Jesper, and right now, I have no intention at all of breaking up with him. You're going to have to find a way to deal with that.' you say and you get up.
'Apologise to him tomorrow, I'll talk to him.' you say. 'And next time, use your words. Not your cane or your fists.'
Kaz watches as you walk toward the stairs, to get to Jesper's room. He watches you as you disappear out of his line of sight. Regret starts to set in. He shouldn't have hit Jesper. He just felt so angry when he saw you with someone else.
You love Jesper, and there's nothing he can do about it. Right now, all he could do was sit in silence, getting lost in his thoughts wondering about what could have been if he had only talked to you sooner.
Meanwhile, you have reached Jesper's room. You knock and open the door, finding Jesper sitting on the bed. He's still got the ice pressed against his cheek.
'Hey.' you say as you walk up to him. Jesper briefly smiles at you but winches immediately at the movement. You sit down next to him and carefully take his hand in yours so you could remove the ice and take a look at his cheek.
Indeed, the skin of his cheek is red, a bruise forming. You lean in to softly press a kiss to his cheek before putting the ice back in place.
'What did Kaz have to say?' says Jesper.
'Um, that he has feelings for me. And that seeing you kiss me just made him angry. That's why he hit you.' you say.
'Should've used his words instead.' mumbles Jesper.
'That's what I told him.' you say. 'But I also told him to find a way to deal with it, because I am not going to break up with you.'
At your words, Jesper smiles. 'Thanks for kissing my war injury better.' he says, making you chuckle. 'I love you.'
'Love you too, Jes.' you say. You smile and get up to go and get ready for bed.
Little did you know that Kaz was standing right outside the door. He'd stopped there on his way to his room on the top floor. The three words you spoke to Jesper stung in his chest.
He'd give anything to hear you say those words to him. But you had made it clear that wasn't going to happen. Eventually, Kaz would have to find a way to deal with it.
After all, both you and Jesper are two of his most valuable and skilled crows. He couldn't just dismiss you because you love each other.
He'd find a way to deal with it. But not tonight. For tonight, he settles for going to his room and opening a bottle of kvas instead.
A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit
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bakugohoex · 3 years
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- 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎 𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
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◤ currently write for
most popular posts are in bold
↞ back to masterlists 
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⤷𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝟏𝐀
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
➶ coming soon
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐄𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
☆ one shots ☆
“you could never last no nut november” | 1k event (0.9k) ↠ nsfw
in which bakugo bets kirishima he could never last no nut november, but in the last hour of november he finds you in bed all pretty and he just has to have you, even if he does lose the stupid bet
“i’d do anything for you” | 1k event (1.9k) ↠ fluff
in which kirishima helps you throughout the day and you finally ask him why he’s always so nice to you, gaining a response you’d never had expected
☆ headcanons ☆
“how do you expect me to not fucking love you, when you come in looking like that” | requested (1.1k) ↠ fluff
in which you have a cow quirk and in a relationship with kirishima
“if you win, i’ll take you out tonight” | requested (1.2k) ↠ fluff
in which you’re performing at the ua pageant and get a surprised visit from kirishima with a proposal in mind
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐎 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
➶ coming soon
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔 𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐘𝐀 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
➶ coming soon
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐆𝐎 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
☆ one shots ☆
“that’s literally the definition of jealous, you dumbass” | (2.5k) ↠ fluff
in which bakugo finds y/n and todoroki getting closer than normal, the more he sees them together the more rage he builds up over someone who he thought was just an extra to him 
“when he put the what, in the where...” | (1.3k) ↠ fluff
in which you’re in a secret relationship with bakugo until one fateful night in the dorms 
“probably married to this dumbass” | (2.5k) ↠ fluff
in which you and bakugo get interviewed on a talk show on what it’s like being pro hero, what turns into a simple where do you see yourself in five years leads to your relationship being announced on live tv 
“look bakugo you’re surrounded by extras” | (2.7k) ↠ fluff
in which you and bakugo are both pro heros and it’s work studies, what bakugo thought would be a pain seemed to have the benefits as he saw you in a better light  
“they’re are what?” | (2.8k) ↠ fluff
in which you and bakugo sneak out for a late night date and meet two kids, confused and lost, you take the kids back to the dorms trying to get help, the thing is they looked strangely familiar 
"you want to sleep on the floor”
part one | (3.4k) ↠ fluff
in which you’re neighbours with pro hero katsuki bakugo, one night your roommate and her boyfriend get a bit too loud, with no where else to turn you end up in the apartment of bakugo’s, sleeping beside him you both realise the hidden feelings between one another
part two | requested (5.4k) ↠ fluff and nsfw 
in which bakugo takes you on that date he promised you and leads your roommate to be the one to hear all the moans and screams
“what’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and makes everyone go crazy?” | requested (2.3k) ↠ nsfw
in which you and bakugo are studying together and after being interrupted by kirishima who tells you mina wants to study with you, you go out and help mina study but instantly get threatened by mina to go back, you realise you’ve got a long night ahead of you
“y/n just tell me the fucking truth for once” | requested (5.2k) ↠ angst and fluff
in which you were raised by villains, by being saved by the heroes, the trust issues and lying you were brought upon reflects you now, bakugo grows ever more frustrated at your lying and all your truths come out
“you really think i wouldn’t recognise you” | requested (1.2k) ↠ fluff
in which you have a transformation quirk and whilst trying to find information from bakugo about his crush, he reveals his love for you but most importantly how easily he could see past your quirk
“really? you wanna have sex...here? now?” | impatient collab (2.1k) ↠ nsfw 
in which you arrive at a pro hero event and with bakugo unable to keep his eyes off of you, you end up doing a lot more than catching up and drinking with your friends 
“i hate your old friends” | (2.5k) ↠ fluff
in which bakugo gets a visit from some old friends, making remarks about you and the other girls, a much more angrier bakugo realises that his past friends never grew up in the past months and he as sure as hell wasn’t letting some idiots talk about his girl in that way
“we’re you two...from the future” | (3.8k) ↠ fluff
in which you and bakugo sneak out intending to go see some stars but are met with the unlikliest of people, explaining their situation, you end up fighting alongside them, and realising just how far your relationship will go with the blond  
“i’m not sick, i always look like this” | requested (2.0k) ↠ fluff
in which your bakugo ends up getting sick, being the loving girlfriend you are you happily look after the angry boy who’s adamant he is not sick 
“becuase i’m fucking in love with you” | 1k event (2.5k) ↠ fluff
in which bakugo watches you get too close with another man and can’t help but let his anger take over seeing you with anybody other him
“that blood, it’s not yours is it?” | 1k event (1.5k) ↠ angst
in which villian!bakugo comes to your apartment, confessing to his sins before finding himself surrounded by pro heroes after your call for help, with nowhere else to go, his only option to take you down with him
“good girl, spread your legs more, you want me to make you feel good?” | corruption collab (4.0k) ↠ nsfw
in which bakugo has always been infatuated with the pure guise you put on, when you come to his office late at night, how can he not resist the temptation of ruining something so sweet?
"you promised...” | (0.7k) ↠ angst
in which you see the first time you and bakugo fell in love
“you think that waiter could make you cum the way i do” | 1k event (2.0k) ↠ nsfw
in which after having a dinner date with bakugo, his irritation at how the waiter seems just a bit too close to you, he can’t help but take you right back to his car, ready to show you who’s really in charge
☆ headcanons ☆
“she’s doing what?” | requested (1.5k) ↠ fluff
in which you’re seen as the mom of class 1a, the boys got to spy on the girls sleepover and what they didn’t expect was you to confess your crush but also for you to have hidden talents that makes bakugo realise he needs to have you
“if you win, i’ll take you out tonight” | requested (1.5k) ↠ fluff
in which you’re performing at the ua pageant and get a surprised visit from bakugo with a proposal in mind 
“how am i supposed to protect everybody if i can’t even protect you” | requested (1.5k) ↠ angst and fluff
in which you and bakugo are the ones to go against each other in the final of the sports festival and after you win, he makes it seem like he let you win, after confronting him he finally gives you what you wanted.
“you’ll never be a fucking hero if you keep acting like a dick to midoriya” | requested (1.4k) ↠ angst and fluff
in which after seeing bakugo continue his bullying with midoriya, you take it upon yourself to stick up for the boy and bakugo get’s a lot more than he expected, finally realising that his act cannot go on for any longer 
“you bought more, didn’t you” | requested (1.1k) ↠ fluff
in which your sweet tooth becomes the bane of bakugo’s life, finding out you house even more sweets in your pockets, his only way to finally get you stop seems to be a bit more different than his initial plan
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐈 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
☆ one shots ☆
“your ability to remain silent really pisses me off” (1.1k) ↠ fluff
in which you go to a haunted house with the class and get stuck partnered up with todoroki
“i thought you hated me” | (3.1k)  ↠ fluff
in which todoroki has a crush on you, and whilst trying to get closer to you his social awkwardness kicks in, making it harder and harder to not mess up whilst talking to you, but in the end he finally confesses after a whirlwind of a week
☆ headcanons ☆
“i want to talk about it now” | (1.0k) ↠ angst and fluff
in which at the sports festival, you finally talk to the boy in your class who seemed to always keep to himself, you both unveil your own trauma that you went through
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⤷ 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝟑𝐀
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐉𝐈𝐊𝐈 𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐈 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
☆ one shots ☆
“if you ate pussy does th-” “y/n do no finish that sentence” (2.5k) ↠ fluff
in which you had been shot by a quirk that makes you say your thoughts aloud, the big three come to class 1a, you’re long time crush and friend tamaki gets made to answer questions and you stupidly raise your hand
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⤷ 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐎 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
☆ one shots ☆
“you guys did it where” | requested (2.1k) ↠ fluff
in which you’re in a secret relationship with shinso until at his party celebrating his first day in the hero course, he can’t keep his hands off of you
“why aren’t you scared of me?” | requested (4.0k) ↠ angst and fluff
in which shinso joins class 1a and whilst everybody seems to be scared of him out of fear he’ll use his quirk, you try to befriend the boy and he develops feelings as soon as you talk to him
“one more word out of you and i’ll leave you tied up with no release” | 1k event (1.2k) ↠ nsfw
in which after teasing shinso all day he can’t wait to get his revenge by overstimulating you until your crying, begging to cum
“i want you to have me...all of me” | corrupt a virgin collab (5.3k) ↠ nsfw 
in which shinso finally takes the next step with his sidekick after being unable to confess he finally works up the courage finding out your own secret as you both decide to take the next step in your newfound relationship
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐍𝐄𝐈𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐌𝐀 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
☆ one shots ☆
“who ruined you, go on, say my name” | 1k event (1.7k) ↠ nsfw
in which after an encounter with your ex boyfriend, monoma makes sure that everybody in the restaurant knows who you belong too
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐘𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐎 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
☆ one shots ☆
“what else can vibrate?” | (2.8k) ↠ nsfw
in which you meet a pro hero who can vibrate and things get a lot personal 
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⤷ 𝐏𝐑𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐄𝐒
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐀 𝐀𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐖𝐀 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
☆ one shots ☆
“did he steal two babies?” | requested (3.0k) ↠ fluff
in which you’re aizawa’s secret wife, aizawa gets a call in the middle of class that you’re going into labor and eventually leaves, the class being noisy pricks follows him to a hospital, feeling worried they continue to follow until they see him holding two babies with a smile at his new family
“i’ll always support you” | requested (1.0k) ↠ platonic relationship and fluff
in which you confide in your teacher about your sexuality and he brings you the support your parents never gave you
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐊𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐎 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐈 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
☆ one shots ☆
“you really have got nothing to do on a friday night” | (4.4k) ↠ fluff
in which your friend keigo invites you to a pro hero event as his plus one, the event leads to a lot more than you expected 
“you’re going to show the whole world who you belong too” | 1k event (1.0k) ↠nsfw
in which you find yourself in a hotel room after your dinner with keigo, pressed against the glass window for the whole world to see
☆ headcanons ☆
“where the fuck did you learn how to do that" | requested (1.1k) ↠ fluff
in which keigo hears you rapping in the shower and even though it was a shock he can’t help but to join you showering 
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⤷ 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐒
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐈 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
☆ one shots ☆
“i tried to move on, but nobody was you” | (1.4k) ↠ angst and fluff
in which you find yourself in front of the league of villains base as nobody could compare to how your ex made you feel
“we’re you” | (3.3k) ↠ fluff
in which you and dabi go out to get food and find yourself meeting some familiar faces with destruction arriving with them
“your boyfriend is going to kill us” | 1k event (2.2k) ↠ nsfw
in which dabi finds himself at your apartment seeing an upset you, how could he resist not comforting his girl even if your boyfriend arrives half way through
“you don’t remember me?” | 1k event (3.0k) ↠ angst
in which after losing your memory in what seemed to have been a week, the capture of shigaraki is the only thing on your mind but when you meet face to face with a distant memory, the reality of the torture the heroes inflicted on you finally comes to light
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐊𝐈 *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
☆ one shots ☆
“keep moaning, go on” | 1k event (2.0k) ↠ nsfw
in which after a loss to all might, all shigaraki needs is a relaxing bath with you which ends up turning into a lot more
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1K notes · View notes
lieutenant-simp · 3 years
Text
Protecting You Is All I know How To Do
Shield Powered Reader x Wanda Maximoff
Warning: Mentions of childhood trauma, beatings, injuries. Angst. Little fluff at end. 
Request: YES :))))
Summary: Protecting Wanda was all you knew, she was your rock and you were hers. 
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Not my Gif
A/N: This is my first request, so this is a big deal! This was not proofread but I really enjoyed writing this. 
Words: 1,508
Your powers were the cause of all your problems, the damage to your health, to your head, the trauma they caused you never wanted to use them. When you first got to HYDRA, you were taken, no given. Your parents trusted some men in suits because they were too messed up to care about anyone but themselves. They wanted money, power and the men promised everything and more to them. You don't know what happened to them after you left, but you hope whatever it was, was worse than anything you'd been subjected to. 
Every day, like clockwork, you were taken to a small dark room, had serum after serum injected into you. Test after test to see what happened to you, nothing worked, until it did. You were upset, you were tired of them beating you, they blamed you for their serums not working, and you just put your hands out. They were blasted to the other side of the room, the force from your shield launching them back. Once again, they blamed you for not finding out your powers sooner. All your tests came back normal, and they didn't know which serum made you this way. The beatings only got worse from there. 
Now that you had powers, you were bound, you didn't want to cooperate. You became numb, numb from the pain. They beat you no matter what. No matter if you cooperated or not. All you could do than pass the time was to be in your head. It was your safe place. When you were subjected to their beatings, you went inside your head to distract yourself. You never felt alone there. You had imagined a new life, one with your parents, what might've happened if they weren't such deadbeats. You imagined love. You imagined anything and everything. Your head was the place that made you sane. 
"Hey, I hear your thoughts are you there?” You hear a voice in your head, you look around your room. The men had already left, where was it coming from. You laugh, you're finally going crazy from being alone. “I am your cellmate, I can hear you, you're not crazy”
“You can hear me? How?” You were definitely crazy now. There was no one here. 
“I have powers, I can read and communicate with others in my mind.” Ah, that makes sense, you were alone in the corridor, clearly, it was made for those with powers, and you were the first successful one and now they had found another. 
“How long have you been here?” You heard her sigh inside your mind, “I just got here, my parents, they uh, they passed away recently and well turns out twin orphans with powers travels around,” You sympathize with her, you want her to not feel alone anymore. She was the only one you had anymore. 
“You have a twin?” You hear her laugh, “Yeah, he’s like me, he has powers too, but he can’t read minds. Do you have powers?” You hesitate to open up to her, afraid of everyone but she seems comfortable, at least in your head, you are relaxed, you’re not afraid. 
Quickly you became friends, her name was Wanda, and she told you about her family. Her twin brother, you could talk to through Wanda, he was nice, witty, and he also became your friend. She would tell you often about her life before HYDRA. You both had created plans, plans to escape, plans for what you'd do after you got out, but you never followed through. Sometimes it was nice to wonder. Wanda was your age, young, and she was new. You once heard her cry about the same men that tortured you. To escape the beatings from them, you'd create a shield surrounding her. She told you when they came in, and you had shared the world inside your head with her to go to, it kept her distracted. When they saw the shield, it would distract them from her as they would march over to you and hurt you instead. You needed Wanda, she was your friend, your closest friend. After some time you would do the same with her brother.
You still despised using your powers, you could've easily used them to shield yourself instead, but you couldn't. You were scared of them, but Wanda and her brother needed you, they needed you to protect them. 
After Ultron, when Pietro died, you were crushed. Your job was to protect the twins. Thankfully Wanda was okay, You felt as if your purpose was to protect them, and you failed. Wanda leaned on you, and you leaned on her. His death wasn't easy on either of you. 
You join the Avengers the same time Wanda did, you didn't want to leave her side and she didn't want you to leave hers. You both still communicated inside your head, it was a comfort you both could only get from each other. When you went on missions you both were paired together, you protected her. You didn't give a damn about what happened to you, but the first time you were injured, changed your perspective. 
Wanda was in the waiting room, waiting for you to come out of surgery, the bullet was lodged in your stomach. Wanda needed you, as much as you need her. She loved you, she always had. She had a crush on you the moment she talked to you. You, on the other hand, had never really got to experience those emotions, you had pushed them down but you did love Wanda too. You were her rock, her protector. A tough egg to crack to everyone else, but to her, you were soft. You held her when she cried, and she would hold you. Your rooms were next to each other, but you usually ended up sleeping in the same room.
When you were ready to receive visitors, she was there in an instant. She held your hand and waited, prayed for you to wake up. And you did. You woke up to her hand in yours. You opened your eyes to see a scratch on her head. You reached over a brushed your hand against it. She looked at you softly, a small smile on her face, her eyes full of tears. You could tell by the look on her face, the injury took a toll on her, it caused her pain. The pain you tried every day to avoid, to help her with.
You realized, to protect her you had to protect yourself. How were you supposed to help her if you were dead or unconscious or just unable to. You didn't want to lose her, she's already lost so much. You knew she could probably hear you because squeezed your hand softly, before you hear her soft voice inside your head. 
"I need you moya lyubov, I need you here with me" You smile at her softly, your hand reaching up to hold her face, your thumb drawing lazy circles across her skin. Your actions say all the words you can’t say. "Can I ask you a question printsessa," you nod your head, "Why me?" You obviously look confused because she continues, "Every time on missions, I am the only one unharmed, the others, they have bruises and black eyes. We both know how many gunshot wounds have been had between all of them. I don't get that experience, you only use your powers to protect me." You think for a minute pondering, you didn't protect the others. They chalked it up to you both knowing each other longer. But you look at your interlocked hands, you thought of the way your heart raced with Wanda. You loved her, the realization hit you like a truck. 
"Because I love you Wands, I always have. I can't stand seeing you hurt if I could do something about it." You look up at her, no words had to be spoken as she leaned in and kissed you. Your hand stayed at her face as she pulled you closer. The kiss said a lot of words between you two, years of love that has been saved between you. 
-
Its been two years since that day, you and Wanda have decided to move in together a few months after that. But today is your anniversary. This day 2 years ago, you asked Wanda to be your girlfriend. You had asked Nat for help then, and you're asking Nat now. 
“Please Nat, you know her so well, do I get this ring,” You paused to show her a picture before showing her another one a moment later, “or this one?” You heard her sigh.
“Y/N, you have been dating for a couple years, and have known each other countless before that, you know her better than me!” You sigh, she's right but that didn't make your decision easier. 
“I just want this to be perfect Nat, it's not every day you ask the love of your life to marry you.”
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natsukitakama · 3 years
Text
What kind of Yandere Floch is ?
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Could I please get Yandere Floch since I’m really curious what type of yandere would he be but with a fem s/o who isn’t member of yeagarits and she’s with Hange and others instead, wanted to stop Eren. She’s also afraid of Floch since she can sense something odd about him
Hey I’m that anon who request yandere Floch with a reader who isn’t a yeagarist, well just so you know they’re not dating but perhaps they are friends and the reader is type of person who’s not ready to be in relationship even if she has a crush and Floch is aware of that. you could reply this ask at the same day when you post this request
Hey it’s me again, the same anon who request yandere Floch, there’s something I want to add more is that the reader figure it out that eren was using and manipulate Floch and the reader was telling Floch that he’s being used so really curious what would he tell her. Once again reply this ask until this request is posted which I know you’ll take long but I’m fine with it since I’m patience
Author note : Hi there, first of all thank you for being so patient with me ! I hope you’ll enjoy your request. It’s like a HS of my what kind of Yandere are they with two part : part 1 and part 2, the only difference is this headcanon got context
Before we started, let me reminds you those relationships are TOXIC please be careful. No one should treat you the way they did in this headcanon, you’re precious and deserve someone who’ll be able to take care of you properly.
Warning : violence / Mention of stress / Toxic relationship and behavior / slight nsfw / mention of violence / Spoiler from season 4/manga if you didn't catch up with the manga you might be spoil so be careful
-->if you don’t feel confortable wit those kinds of things don’t read, I want you to feel good on my blog this is a happy place.
Masterlist
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We’re going to start with the basic, during a long time you guys got a hate/love relationship
None of you knew if you hate each other or if you were too into each other, like you were always teasing each other, always trying to get on the other’s nerve.
It was kinda cute until it became an obsession for Floch.
He didn’t notice it though. Not at first, he thought that he was genuinely crushing on you. I mean you were pretty hot, you got a big mouth not afraid to tell whatever you had in mind, you were even bold enough to argue with Floch with that damn smirk of yours.
Before he could acknowledge it he was already in his kneel for you (not literally not now though).
But to you, you were just friends. With your life and what was going own outside of the wall you knew it wasn’t the right time to get in a relationship, so even though you were in love with Floch you decided that it wasn’t appropriate to start dating.
But Floch disagreed with you. It was already too late, he was into you. He wanted to be by your side, he was craving for your attention whether it would be by arguing with him, fighting (not in a bad way you know just teasing each other) or even romantic attention.
He wanted to get everything that you might give him.
And he was ready to do everything in order to get what he was craving for.
At first you didn’t mind it, you didn’t even notice how bad the situation was. I mean, you were in love with him and as you got to know him you realized that he went through a lot of things. You were aware that the Shinganshima’s event left a huge mark on his soul and now he was dealing with a trauma that might stay forever.
It pained you to see him sometimes struggling with his dream because he was always dreaming about the death of his friends, the way he almost dies and for nothing. Yeah they got Shinganshima back but now they needed to be strong in order to fight the whole word outside the wall.
He needed to be strong so he wouldn’t live this again, he needed to be strong so no one would be able to touch you. He knew at this point he became addict to you and you were the only who can maintain a sort of serenity around him.
So yeah when it came to Floch you weren’t exactly unbiased, you cared a lot about him, so you couldn’t manage to just straight up and tell him to let go.
And he knows it oh boy he knows and he is not afraid to use it against you.
Especially when it was time to choose your side, would you be a yeagerist or would you stay with Hange ?
He expects you to make the right choice ( aka follows him in case you were wonderin)
But it was more complicated than that, of course you were afraid. Since you’ve realized that your nightmare started because some people outside of the wall (who used to be your boundaries) decided that you were monster who needed to be killed because some of your ancestor made war against them. You weren’t a fool, you were aware that talking won’t be enough, it’s been decades since the outside hated you, but you weren’t ready to use such a powerful and dangerous power (aka the rumbling) against people without being a hundred percent sure there weren’t a way out.
So for now you decided to follow Hange much to Floch’s dismay
Not gonna lie he was ready, I mean he knew everything about you so of course he kinda expected you to not follow him easily (where’s the fun then ?)
Even if he expected you to confront him and not follow him already, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. I mean why you wouldn’t follow him while all he was doing was fighting for a better word for both of you ? Why wouldn’t you agree with him when he was protecting his people ? Why would you disagree when he was obviously right
So yeah he felt bitterness against you, especially because since you’ve decided to join Hange’s side all you were doing was to confront him about his relationship with Eren. « He is obviously manipulating you ? » « Why are you following him ? I thought he was an ass ? » « We didn’t even try to talk to them how could you be so sure there is no other way ? »
Quickly you came to realize that you couldn’t change his mind which pains you, even though you weren’t ready to be in a relationship for now, you couldn’t help the feeling of emptiness each time you were thinking about him.
Yeah you were missing him, you missed the way you two used to tease each other, you missed his cocky smile each time he was showing off to own some of your precious praise.
But sometimes you swore this man was scaring you, the way his eyes was always on you no matter what (he could have been talking to some of his companion his eyes would remain on you)
Sometimes, you swore that he was following you even though you didn’t have any proof that he was doing it, you just felt it. He was here no matter where you were he was here looking at you from your usual spot to your training spot, you were even starting to think that he was here when you were showering or when you were sleeping.
This sensation was driving you crazy, everyone started to believe that you were a little bit paranoid (yes the man was always looking at you but he told you he was in love so it’s normal right ?)
The feeling became stronger after one of your last confrontation because his behavior (and himself) change brutally :
When you decided to follow Henge-San no matter what, you knew that it would affect your relationship with everyone especially the one you got with Floch. After all he decided to become a yeagarist and to betray everyone in order insure paradis’ safety. In his mind everything made sense, his trauma, all the things he had to go through was because of them, because some people behind the wall decided that paradis was the real danger and needed to be annihilated. What he couldn’t understand was why you hadn’t join him yet ? His goal was noble, he was doing everything to provide you safety. Why were you against him ? Why would you meddle into his plan ? At first, he thought you were playing hard just to amuse him, because you used to love teasing him and while he was enjoying a little opposition coming from you, now that he was about to betray everyone including his superior by changing them into titans he needed to have you by his side. He couldn’t wait anymore, the plan already begun so he needed to convince you to follow him.
That’s why you were here now, in jail behind the bar while Floch was looking at you a frown on his face. No, it was more than that, it was the face you made when you were about to scold your child from acting like a brat. He looked disappointed and quite angry, though you got some ideas why he might be angry you couldn’t however understand why he was so disappointed. After all, you told him that his plan was insane so why was he acting like this ? To be honest you should be the one being angry, he got the nerve to send some rookie from the survey corps find you to arrest you so they could bring you to your jail. You’ve been here since your last argument with Floch and it was like a week ago.
« You know I always knew you were a bad looser but I didn’t expect you to bring me into jail for not being cooperative. Don’t you think it’s a little bit excessive ? Like a LOT »
« Always sassy right Y/N »
« It’s not sassiness at this point it’s just being rational »
« Rational ? You are talking about being rational while being the one who claimed that my plan was full of shit ? »
« I didn’t really say that I just underlined the fact that we still got some cards to play before sending whatever Eren want to send »
« The rambling »
« Yeah whatever that’s not the point »
« It’s definitely the point »
« Absolutely not there is plenty of things to do before even consider sending them titans to kill a whole population »
« A WHOLE POPULATION ? Did you hear yourself y/n ? THEY kill us, THEY were the reason we don’t have a home anymore THEY are the reason so many people died and for what uh ? »
« Not because their government want us dead does it mean the people want our death most of them are probably innocent. There are other way Floch »
« There is no other way y/n the world has to be fix »
« Fix ? Now you are scarring me Floch »
« It doesn’t matter what you think y/n »
« May I ask you why ? »
« Because you’re not leaving this jail »
« I beg your pardon ? »
« Look, here you’re safe from both them and the yeagarist »
« I’m not afraid I’ll kick their ass »
« I won’t take the risk of losing you, so you’re going to stay here all you cute for me yeah ? I Wont be too long I need to work on a little problem then I would be back and you could yell at me as much as you want ok ? I’ll be back »
« No no no Floch look come back OI come back ! I’m not going to stay here you now I’ll find a way out »
« No you won’t nobodies know you’re here I told the yeagarist that you were dead. They won’t look for you, your friends believe you’re dead too. I’m the only person who knows where you are. But it’s okay, it was always about us right ? »
With that he just left your jail, without even a look, all he could was your scream but he didn’t care. The jail was hiding under the military court no one would even think about looking for you here. Besides the wall was thick enough so no one would hear you screaming, for now he decided that you will remain here until he was done saving paradis. But of course, he promised himself to take great care of you so don’t worry.
After this « incident » (aka his way to save you from the trouble outside according to him), his behavior change toward you. You noticed it, he became possessive and rather paranoid when it came to you.
So you might ask what kind of Yandere he is ?
Possessive : I mean he was already possessive before he became the Yandere that he now is, he just lost so many people that now he was afraid that you would be next. So yeah he always makes sure to have his hand on some part to your body mostly your hips or even better holding your hand, since you were attracted to him you let him do his things. But as he falls gradually into darkness, his touch which used to be light touch became more rough. Floch wasn’t holding you anymore he was grabbing you, as if to demonstrate to everyone that he owns you. It wasn’t a mark of affection, but a way for him to illustrate your affiliation to him (as if you were wearing a leash). Speaking of leash, he started to think about it when he notices way too many people was looking at you as if they didn’t understand that you belong to him. And when you two started to be intimate, he was more than ready to mark each inch of your body whether from his teeth, mouth or even from the way he is grabbing at your thigh. It quickly became a habit of him to ask who you belong to especially each time he was giving a rather hard slap from his hips or his hands (because if you think he wouldn’t spank you for being naughty or a brat you’re wrong he loves that) and even though at first you didn’t like the idea of moaning your belonging you quickly discover that it was better for you to just do as he said.
Paranoid : It might because of his trauma from the mission in Shinganshima or because he was more aware about the fact that everyone outside the wall want to erase paradis from the world but he was afraid to loose you. I mean since he joined the survey corps all he has do was losing someone, he lost Erwin, he lost his friends, he lost a part of his mind, he almost lost his life. There is no way he was about to lose you. So yeah as you may notice before, he started by locking you from the world in a jail under the military court after claiming to everyone who wanted to hear it that you were dead. One night he woke up after dreaming that one of the yeagarist would discover you in jail after bringing another prisoner, what if they unlock you ? So after multiple days in jail, without any light, he decided that he couldn’t let you here it was too dangerous, although he claimed to you that he did because he noticed your unhealthy body cause of the lack of light. But since he wasn’t sure if he could trust you enough, he took some handcuff with him so he could link you and him, which made him laugh cause it was as if he put a ring on you. That day he locked you into a house secluded from the world, meaning that you couldn’t reach any city without a horse, it was safe for him and for you and here he was sure no one would ever notice you.
Threatening : Of course, you wouldn’t let him do as he pleased, so some times you tried to kick his ass to steal his horse, or to climb into a tree to help you finding the closest city. You even tried to make him believe you kill yourself so he went completely crazy, screaming, crying so you could knock him you. Unfortunately it never works, and after your failed attempt to leave him he started to threaten you. At first he uses light poison, like he gave you a poison that he mixed on your meal or your drink without you noticing so you were ill during the whole day and you needed to wait like a good s/o that your lovely husband as he calls himself, so he could give you the medicine. Sometimes he even let you believe that he might give you something that will change you into titan like : Do you remember all your officer ? Yeah ? They all drink that famous spinal liquid that change everyone into titan, what if you drank it by accident mh ? Maybe when he gave you food he already mixes your drink with that poison ? Whether it was true or not no one will know, but it works you never attempt to leave him after that.
Violent : I hate to say it, but at some point when dark would entirely cover his mind, he would start being violent against you. Though he would never be something that could kill you, he wanted you to remember that you were living a peaceful live because of him, you were safe because of him. To him you got no reason of being such a brat to him, not when he was giving you everything you wanted. He took care of you, you had no right to be mad at him. So yeah sometimes he had to break your ankle, or maybe your leg so you won’t escape. Sometimes he would strangle you slightly just enough to knock you out. It barely happens because to act like this he needed to be really really angry, like loosing every common sense you know ? So it barely happens but it happens. Your body still have so marks as proof that you shouldn’t get on Floch’s nerve. Despite his physical violence, he tends to be quite violent with his word too so it wouldn’t be a surprise that you’ll break. The emotional amusement in addition with the physical violence would be enough to break anyone so you shouldn’t be ashamed. After all maybe he has been looking for this since the beginning ? Who knows ?
154 notes · View notes
alittlesimp · 3 years
Note
Another Platonic relationships, Reader seeing Atsushi, Kyoka, and Kenji as little siblings! +ADA'S reaction to it!
a/n: another super fun request! i've seen stuff like this around a few times but i hope i gave my own little flavour to it <3 tbh i love doing headcanons more than i first thought i would! i couldn't really fit the ada reaction in with kenji, i hope that's okay haha :)
warnings: none? there might be very mild swearing, haven't checked lol
Atsushi, Kyouka and Kenji with an 'older sibling' - headcanons
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· Every single time this boy comes back from a mission and is beat up your sibling instincts get awakened
· You will literally Drag him to Yosano to get healed
· (and always make sure to be super nice to him afterwards, bringing him a snack and some tea)
· Since he's kind of like an older brother to Kyouka too, he often comes to you for advice on how to be a good mentor
· You'll also have to give advice on how to deal with Lucy (in a friendship way or a romantic way, doesn’t really matter!)
· Even though he's not weak and can definitely handle a fight, you'll probably have to protect him from others sometimes because he's Just Too Nice and can't say no (cough, Dazai)
· Oof, death glares @ Dazai every time he tries to mess with him
· Or tries to get Atsushi to do his work for him
· Get his ass y/n !!1!
· Dazai will be kind of butthurt about it but hey Atsushi needs to learn how to stand up for himself
· But he’ll also understand Atsushi needs someone like you
· He has low self-esteem so you better hype him up every chance you get
· He also has quite a bit of trauma so get ready for a lot of venting and emotional support
· Which honestly, I'd love to do,, come on Atsushi baby you need to talk about your issues <3
· He'll definitely appreciate the support though
· Expect him to do nice things for you in return :)
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· Kyouka would be such a sweet little sister
· She’d take care of you more than you take care of her honestly
· Offering to cook, suggesting movies to go watch at the theater, you name it
· She could do it on her own but she wants to go with you!
· But make sure you take the initiative sometimes, she doesn’t have extremely high demands so it shouldn’t be too hard to arrange something super fun
· Atsushi will tag along sometimes too! You’re co-big siblings!
· If you really want to make her happy
· Please adopt a rabbit for her
· She’s pretty responsible for a young teenager so she can definitely handle it
· She’ll be SO happy pls, heart eyes and all
· You’ll still have to check every now and then to make sure she’s really taking care of it (like come on, she’s a kid)
· But it’ll be very satisfied and happy every time you see it, cage squeaky clean
· If you like baking, expect a lot of that too!
· She’s a very fast learner so you’ll have a ton of tasty stuff to hand out at the Agency give to Ranpo
· Everyone will be delighted to see Kyouka expressing herself a bit more under your care
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· God I love this boy so much
· He can be a bit clueless at times but he's just so sweet
· Will offer to go to lunch with you every day
· You will get so many stories about life in his village! So so many!
· He might not understand money but he does have a very positive and relaxed outlook on life so you'll learn from each other!
· Sometimes it feels like you're talking to a middle-aged farmer but nope, it's just Kenji
· On your day off take him to a petting zoo!!
· The stars in his eyes when he sees the animals,, im cryinf
· Will SPRINT towards them until he's close and then just does a complete 180 and starts being very gentle with the animals
· Animal facts !!!!!!! He has so many animal facts
· Will know more than the zookeeper
· Who in return will just be stunned at this funny 14-year-old in overalls and a straw hat on his back lecturing him on goats
· While said goat is eating his hat
· You will have to forcibly remove him from the animals
· Which doesn't work cause this kid is strong so you'll have to lure him with something (food)
· In the end y'all had a really fun day!
· You'll both stink of goats for the next few days though :(
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please comment/reblog if you enjoyed! i'd love to hear what y'all think <3
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syn0vial · 3 years
Note
Hello Wise One! I was actually hoping if you can give me some solid personality pointers on Jango, rather than Boba, Fett?
sure thing! full disclosure that my knowledge of jango is not as extensive as my knowledge of boba, but i’ll do my best with what i have! here are some personality traits of jango’s i’ve observed:
paranoid/protective: this is a big one if you ask me. jango endured a life of betrayal and loss before he became a bounty hunter and it shows. besides boba, he doesn’t trust anyone fully, not even those closest to him and is always ready to cut ties at the drop of a hat—lethally, if necessary. his mistrust of the rest of the galaxy is so potent that when he takes boba on missions to populated areas, he instructs him to hide even from normal foot traffic and becomes anxious when he learns that others may have spotted him. it becomes pretty evident that part of the reason boba was so isolated growing up was that jango didn’t trust the vast majority of the galaxy enough to let them near the kid. and when other bounty hunters find out about him? ho boy. jango actually convinces them that he killed boba using a cloned child’s body, bc he’d rather be known as the worst kind of monster rather than make boba a target. there’s also the fact that, after their apartment on kamino gets found out by obi-wan, jango is packed and ready to leave in minutes. not only is he ready to bug out at the first sign of danger, but he’s well-prepared to do so at a moment’s notice.
a loving father: another big one. for those who look at a man as battle-hardened and stoic as jango fett and wonder whether boba got enough affection as a kid, worry not: in the vast majority of depictions, jango is a very loving father, especially when he’s out of the prying eyes of clients and colleagues. he hugs boba, tells him he loves him, joins him in playing with toy starfighters, and tries to make time for him as much as he can. he even does his dadly duty of going fishing with his son (though he and boba practice spearfishing rather than using a rod and tackle). there’s also a wistful little scene where, trying to help boba feel better after zam’s death, he takes him to kamino’s main spaceport and lets him infodump about all the ships he sees there :,) so overall, he has a lot of good qualities as a dad
controlling: and the other side of the coin! while jango is a genuinely loving father, he’s not at all the type to encourage his son’s independent development. self-sufficiency? sure. interests in anything other than the path jango has laid out for him? not really. he actively discourages boba from learning about “unimportant” topics from books, an apparently very broad category given it includes things such as schools, moms, and other children. he drills into boba’s head that he’s going to be a bounty hunter and that he needs to abide by a code with such healthy guidelines like, “don’t have friends or attachments” and “trust no one but use everyone.” boba, of course, goes with it bc he loves his father and wants to live up to his expectations, but he never really gets a choice in the matter. honestly, i think this side of jango is best summed up by him leaving a post-humous note for boba that says, among other things, “i am more than a parent to you.” it kind of goes along with how, after jango’s death, boba continued to think of his father not just with love and grief, but also an almost religious dread of failing his expectations. jango undoubtedly loved his son but he also seems to have defined a very narrow path for him to walk, without room for deviation.
possesses an actual charisma score: okay, now for a more fun one: jango has a charisma score and he apparently makes a habit of using it, to the point where his old friend rozatta pokes fun at him for it (he compliments her and she’s like “oh, you’re flattering me? must mean you want something!”) he also pulls the same thing on zam, calling her charming to get her to agree to help him break into a target’s stronghold. so yeah, jango fett turning up the charm to get people to help him/give him info? 100% canon, baby
very fun friendship with zam wesell: look, this isn’t a personality trait, but it’s important to me. these two are just so fucking funny together. like, on the surface, it’s just a fun dynamic of zam making flirty banter and jokes while jango pretends to be annoyed and drag her, much to her delight. but then on a professional level, you have these two ammoral assholes bouncing wildly between being one another’s Sexy Rival and being one another’s Unhinged Partner but whoops, jango went and had a kid, so now they’re Unhinged But Mostly Responsible Co-Parents. one of my favorite scenes is when, in an attempt to intimidate a prisoner into talking, zam impersonates a politician and lets jango pretend to “kill” her in front of him. for some reason, even after they’re done, jango continues to bridal carry zam’s “body” into the cockpit of slave I, at which point, she perks up, bats her eyelashes at him, and goes, “you’d never really kill me would you, jango?” jango quite honestly replies, “only if i had to.” there’s a beat and then zam’s like, “....you’re so sweet! 😘” honestly, they’re so stupid, i love them
ascetic: much like his son, jango doesn’t seem to have much interest in luxury or “the finer things.” despite having enough money to live very comfortably, his apartment on kamino is described as “spartan” in design and furnishing. this may have something to do with the first bullet point, given that a simple life is easier to pack up and take with you at a moment’s notice, but i do think there’s some amount of preference in this lifestyle, given it’s what both fetts seem most comfortable with in all circumstances.
traumatized: i mean, he’s a fett, ain’t he? particularly, just like boba after him, jango is traumatized by the loss of his family, especially his own father figure, jaster mereel. much like boba, jango seems haunted by the need to live up to jaster’s name and legacy. for background, jaster was betrayed and killed in an ambush by the leader of deathwatch, after which he passed on the title of mand’alor to jango. however, some time after this, the true mandalorians led by jango were wiped out by a combination of death watch and the jedi, with jango himself being stripped of his armor and sold as a slave. after this point, jango does not seem to see himself as worthy of jaster’s legacy and thus attempts to pass it on to his son, resulting in the high and narrow expectations he sets for boba as mentioned in bullet point #3. boba himself concludes as much as an adult. on top of the trauma of losing his family, jango also seems to have been traumatized by his time as a slave. most notably, when he’s being tortured after being captured by target komari vosa, he at first remains fairly stoic, even as she starts to mutilate his face. it isn’t until she mentions enslaving him that he seems to panic, struggling desperately to get away. vosa even laughs and says that she must have touched a nerve with her comment. basically: fetts be traumatized :(
soft spot for (some) kids: another thing that’s interesting about jango is that he... usually attempts to do right when kids are involved. i say “usually” bc fat lot of good it did all the cloned children he had a hand in creating >:( but, for example, after killing a runaway clonetrooper as part of a bounty, he finds out that the clone had a son. unwilling to let the child live in poverty due to his own actions, he has regular payments sent to the boy’s mother to help support him. in another instance, jango and zam help deliver an artifact to a client who intends to use it to carry out a terrorist attack on coruscant against millions of civilians. when zam finds out about the client’s intentions, she’s horrified and goes to jango demanding they steal the artifact back. jango completely brushes her off at first, telling her it’s not his problem and that he needs to spend more time with his son. zam coldly asks him how many “sons” he thinks live on coruscant. needless to say, her argument convinces him to join her in stopping the terrorist plot :,)
aaand that’s all i got at the moment! i hope it helps to characterize jango a little bit more!
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poisonousquinzel · 3 years
Note
https://lady-ha-ha.tumblr.com/post/160715688748/is-that-comic-before-the-reboot-and-which-one-is
(I have not read this comic) Is this true? (if so, ivy deserves someone better).
Post
Kay, first off both of those people are Jarley shippers so take everything they say with a grain of salt and then some, cause no. that part isn't about how much Harley loves Joker and will always choose him over Ivy. Literally you can tell ops don't know what they're talking about cause her whole thing in those issues is going to kill him for years of graphic abuse but ultimately falls back with him once she’s face to face with him.
Like wow, congrats on missing the fucking point again but not surprised from people who ship her with The Fucking Joker.
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also, ffs, can anyone please have basic comprehension skills and realize that Harley and Ivy are both fucked up sometimes because they’ve got issues and that’s not comparable to Joker’s long ass history of graphic and disgusting abuse.
Harley and Ivy are villains, they're not a wholesome cookie cutter, White Picket Fence, super vanilla ship with no bad moments. They're both bad guys with a fuck ton of trauma that they both have to work through, and have done so at this point. 
Gotham City Sirens was published between 2009 - 2011, Harley and Ivy weren't blatantly romantic at this point nor had they had anywhere near the development that they’ve had at this point.
Like don’t go into Harlivy content expecting them to be the perfect wlw rep with no flaws during their arcs from BTAS to current time cause that’s just not realistic. They’re both deeply flawed people who’ve got a fuck ton of trauma that they need to (and have) worked through. 
I have talked about the BTAS issues here and this post is good at explaining them too. 
X
X
Harlivy is not and has never been a purely wholesome, goody-goody ship. They’re messy, they have issues, and they have bad moments sometimes, but they both worked through their seperate trauma and came out stronger and better because at the end of the day, they care about each other. 
Harlivy has messy, toxic moments sometimes, but they’re not, and have never been, abusive. There’s a difference between unhealthy moments and a ship being abusive. 
That’s completely different to how Joker acts Constantly, because he does not care that his actions towards Harley are abusive, because he doesn’t give a shit about her. 
He enjoys hurting her. He enjoys ruining her. 
Jarley has always been intended to be written and shown as a domestically abusive relationship.
This is also the first instance where it's directly referenced that there's something more than platonic between her and Ivy, other than the reference in Batgirl Adventures. 
Gotham City Sirens is also not connected to any verses.
This didn’t happen in the timeline we’re in rn with Harley Quinn (2014)/(2016)/(2021).
Comic timelines and shit are stupid and make everything more confusing and awful and I hate it sdfjdksksdkjsd
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this is gonna be a long post since ops wanna just cut and paste random bits of the issues like jarley stans always do (cause jarley never has good moments that aren’t entirely surrounded by him abusing her) I’m going to show them in full context. *added a keep reading cause it is a lot
(All panels shown are from #15, #18, #19, #20, #21, #23, #24, #25)
So, Harley's entire thing at this point in the GCS comic in that she's been triggered by flashbacks of Joker's abuse and she breaks into Arkham with the intent to kill him.
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The entire thing in these issues is showing her smarts and how she knows people's trump cards to get under their skin so she can break into Arkham. 
She’s trained to identify these things in people and she's fucking good at pushing people's buttons. 
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this is also just one of my fav Harley covers so I wanted to show it jsdjksdks
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“Trump cards. Everyone has one. Places where the armor we build around ourselves is weakest.” 
She’s right. And it’s now shown that Harley’s willing to use those below the belt trump cards if she has to.  
And frankly, I’d say this is worse than what she says to Ivy. And I’m not surprised she did it. She didn’t want to, she tried to get him to just open the door - 
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“Don’t make me do this, Aaron. There are some secrets that should stay hidden. Things you should never learn about your own life.” 
but she’s also entirely fueled by rage and the desire to kill Joker. She came here for a reason and she’s not leaving until she’s done it.
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“I’m going to kill you. For everything you’ve done to me. All the times you’ve made me feel useless and small. For all the times I will never forget. For all the things I can never forgive. All the memories -”
“Hello, Harley. I’ve missed you.” 
“Memories. That’s all I have left. The past is gone and all I have is... memories. 
Memories.
Memory. 
Gone.
I guess I too have a trump card.”
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“Oh, Ivy. You know exactly what my answer is going to be. But you’re hoping you’re wrong, aren’t you?”
She’s also right about this, they already mentioned this in #18.
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“How did I become the bad guy?”
“You’re the one choosing a man over her girls.”
“Are you kidding me? You would never say that to Harley, and we both know she’d dumb us in a flat second if Joker called her.”
“Hey! That’s not fair-- Actually, that’s probably true.”
“The difference is, she can’t help it. You can. And she’s working on it. You’re not working on it.” 
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“Too easy, Ivy. Too easy. I know your weak spots. Now I just need to push.”
This is exactly what she’s been doing since the starting point of this post. She’s still in that mindset and she knows she can’t beat her on a regular battle field. Neither of them can. 
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“Like I said-- You beat me in any level playing field. But I don’t fight on those fields.” 
Harley’s biggest strength as a villain is her ability to completely mentally stall her opponents and learn their weak spots. She wouldn’t win against the majority of the Big Bads if she didn’t fight on a different field than they are. 
so, like yeah, out of context what she says to Ivy seems awful and completely screwed up, and it is, but it’s also built up really well and it’s completely in character for her at this point in her fall during these issues. 
Is what she did fucked? absolutely. It’s not painted that it’s not. 
Ivy Literally Goes To Kill Her For It.
In the end of this all three of them are recaptured by Catwoman and Batman and that’s where we’re starting off at again. 
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“Oh, Harley.
The only human I’ve ever called a friend.
To what lengths will I go? Where are my own limits? She is the Strangler fig. And I am the tree, choking underneath. 
Without me, she could never grow. 
But without her, I would fall if I grew too tall.” 
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“Will she ever stand by herself? 
Will she ever be ready? 
She is in throes of madness. She sees him, her brain flooding with adrenaline, it makes her excited, nervous, then the feelings start to fade, and she needs more. And more. 
She sees it as passion. She sees it as love. 
But it’s not. It’s addiction. And she’s relapsing.” 
Ivy is well aware of the nature of their relationship. She’s not stupid and she’s been shown already to know that it’s something that takes time. It’s not a one off break up and it’s over. That’s not how abusve relationships work. 
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What do I do?
I could use my pheromones to alter her brain chemistry.
I could leave her behind abandoning her to the wilds of her own mind.
I could kill her right now.
Show her how red Nature can be.
There's one other option.
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It would require patience.
Even love.
Maybe I'm more human than I want to admit.
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"You have one chance to answer this."
I know, if she agrees, she'll be doing it for revenge. For him.
"She put us behind bars."
But maybe if I get away from this place, if I give her something else to think about. Maybe she can break the cycle. But it has to be her choice.
"I'm going to kill her. Come with me."
So yeah, it’s definitely not a just “Harley hurts her and runs off with Joker and it’s just a plain ol’ her choosing him over everyone and that’s that.” 
Jarley shippers love to just reduce all her scenes and arcs down to their “epic love” and shit, but that’s taking away literally everything about her and reducing it down to the 3 panels that they’re “cute” in. Her arc in this part is fucking heartbreaking to read.
And Ivy damn well knows what’s going on with her. She’s smart and she’s the one that’s been there throughout all of this. She found her in the park after he shot her out of a rocket. 
And she knows it’ll take time for Harley to get over and through his manipulation, that’s just how it works with abusive relationships. 
But she’s also not forgiving at first, she’s mad and rightfully so, until she sees the sate of Harley’s cell and realizes how bad her addiction is at that time.
A lot of the unhealthy moments on Harley’s side when it comes to them are directly caused from the effects of being in an abusive relationship with Joker. Because she’s always in this area of her journey in those moments. She’s never fully over him or emancipated. 
And that’s realistic. It’s hard sometimes to be friends with someone who’s in abusive relationships like theirs, having to watch them return to that person time and time again and it’s frustrating after a while. 
I know from personal experience, it’s really hard to watch someone you care about go back or forgive someone that continues to hurt them. 
But abuse victims desperately need a support system outside of their abuser. It’s a crucial part of being able to escape, because when they do try to get out they need someone there or they’ll literally have no where to go but back into their abuser’s arms.
It’s heartbreaking and it’s really rough for everyone effected, but that’s just how it is most of the time. Especially in their case, as they’re not just regular folk dealing with this. 
If she doesn’t have Ivy, Harley has no one else to go to but Joker, on more than just an emotional level. 
She’s lost her job. Her income. Her home. Her livelihood. Her everything.
Most of the time she has no other choice but to return to a life of crime after she’s released from Arkham because she can’t get a job, she’s a notorious criminal and she’s got a lot of issues that don’t just disappear with a bit of therapy. 
She has no other choice but to return to Joker because the other alternative is the streets. At least she knows what to expect with him. 
And that’s not even getting into the manipulation, gaslighting and degrading abuse that he drills into her constantly. 
He’s made her believe she’s not anything without him. That she’s not smart or useful or anything. 
And that’s why it’s so damn important for her to have a support system and why he’s so damn against Ivy. 
Because Ivy is the good voice on her shoulder telling her he’s wrong and that she doesn’t deserve that. 
-
And on Ivy’s side, she’s aware she gets very near cutting off all parts of her humanity. 
She’s a plant goddess, she’s insanely powerful and she feels everything through the green. Frankly, she’s not even on the same playing field as these villains. She’s significanty more powerful than Harley and Joker. 
Her connection to Harley is what keeps her humanity in tack, because despite everything, she does care about her. She was the first person she let in, the first person Ivy called a friend. 
The person that was able to get through to her in #14/#15 when she was losing herself. The one that was able to get through to her that the dude was manipulating her. 
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“Ivy, I know you think you love this guy... but you’re just gonna end up strapped to his rocket!”
She had to knock her out for the dude to trust her / not attack them anymore. But Harley got through to her by mentioning how they first met in the park when she saved her after Joker shot her off in a rocket.
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And Ivy is understandable turned off towards humans considering her origin and trauma around that. 
She’s got a lot of trust issues.
But both of them work through their seperate traumas over the years because their affection for each other is stronger than the issues their trauma has given them.
-
and also, sometimes, they just have shit writers. that’s an issue overall in comic fandoms. Some writers just fucking suck at getting any of the characters right, let alone LGBT characters, who’re notoriously treated like garbage by DC. 
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pascalpanic · 3 years
Text
Blood, Sweat, and Tears (Javier Peña x f!Reader)- Chapter One
Summary: You live in Bogotá in the ‘90s, and work odd hours. No, you’re not a DEA agent, but a nurse. These odd hours prompt odd habits, like working out at 2:03 A.M. after a shift. Odd hours attract odd people, and you have a chance encounter with one DEA agent by the name of Javier Peña. Warnings: language, blood and violence (both graphic), descriptions of death and gun violence Chapter 1 W/C: 2.3K A/N: you guys! I am so in love with this fic. I already have quite a bit more written and can’t wait for you to read it! I hope you love it as much as I do! Javi deserves some softness... but not too much. this can’t all be fluff when you’re Javier Peña. Okay, this is not super canon-fitting of Narcos, I’m just gonna be honest with y’all. This is between the time of Escobar’s escape from La Catedral and his final capture and death, but also… Connie’s still in Colombia. Additionally, I don’t really have a year in mind, it’s just somewhere in that period. Please note that this is not a very lighthearted story- it begins with a death, though not of a significant character. Javier and reader both have some trauma, so please check the warnings of each chapter before you start reading. If you’re continuing on, I hope you like it! For the most part, if I use italics here when someone is speaking, it’s indicating that it’s in Spanish. I’m okay at the language, but I don’t want to butcher anything, so… just imagine it. Otherwise, it’s just the way anyone would use italics I guess.
next chapter
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Chapter One
You watched a woman you didn’t know die in your arms tonight.
 She was beautiful, all dressed up to go out and party, her makeup running down her face with tears. Her lips were the painted the color of the blood that trickled from the side of them, eyes glazing over as she coughed and coughed and ruined the beautiful dress she wore. The nurses had asked what happened, and she had told them, through gurgles of blood: she had slept with one of Escobar’s men. She got too close, learned too much, and they tracked her down. 
She flatlined not long after telling the nurses around you. You had stood in the corner, paralyzed at first. You were an experienced ER nurse, nothing was new. You had seen patients die, but something about her was different. Maybe it was the way she reached out to you right before her body went limp. You didn’t make it to her bedside in time to calm her, the panic holding you down, but you finally took her hand right as she took her last breath. 
After she passed, you threw up in the bathroom, shaking and clutching the toilet. The night air had grown unbearably hot and humid, causing your scrubs to cling to your skin, and the sweat from the heaving of your stomach didn’t make things easier on you. Lorena, a fellow nurse and your best friend at work, had found you and comforted you, rubbing your back and bringing you water. It didn’t matter. It couldn’t reverse what had happened. 
Now, you sit on a bench in the staff’s locker room, redoing the ponytail holding your hair from your damp face. Your shift ended a few minutes ago, but you don’t know what to do now. You don’t feel like drinking; that would only make the visions swimming in your head worse. You know you can’t go home, can’t attempt to find sleep tonight. You look up and spot a bag with tennis shoes and spare clothing and settle your mind on at least one thing: the gym could do you some good. You change into the clothes and put the blood-spattered scrubs in the laundry pile. 
As you leave, you give Lorena a little wave goodbye and exit the building. You’re hyper-aware of your surroundings tonight, and you groan as you look at your watch and notice that it’s precisely 2:09 A.M. here in Bogotá. The walk to your fitness club is short, but your step is slightly extra hurried and your hand is on your pepper spray the entire time, extra vigilant to the fact that a hit went down somewhere around here just a few hours earlier. Surprisingly enough, no one catcalls or bugs you tonight. 
The little gym is run-down and dilapidated, and there’s no working air conditioning, but it’s the only one near you. You paid the small monthly membership fee to gain access, and you were going to use it to get in shape, you’d decided. As you swipe in and enter, the tiny fitness center looks more depressing in the fluorescent lights, no daylight to sugarcoat the atrocities of the center. There are two of every machine, a punching bag and a speed bag, two weightlifting racks, and a couple of benches. 
It’s nice that you get to work out alone tonight, you tell yourself. Even better is the fact that you now get to control the music. Desperate for a taste of home, you flip the large boombox in the corner on and begin scanning the airwaves with the dial. There’s a station in town that plays American music, and you need it more than anything tonight. You listen carefully and nearly start sobbing again as you hear Billy Joel’s voice through the speakers. With a sigh of relief, you lock your bag in the rusty lockers in the corner and head to the treadmill. It’s a beat up old thing, but this is the one you always use. It provides a little bit of comfort tonight, the familiarity of it. You turn it on low and start walking. A few moments later, you up it to a jog, mouthing along to the words of the familiar song. 
As the song ends, you push the buttons enough to enter a running speed. Your feet slam into the treadmill harder than normal tonight, feeling as overwhelmed as when you left the hospital. Your body finally works up a sweat, the physical stress overwhelming the mental stress. 
As the events of tonight replay in your head to some other song from the late 80’s, your eyes start to water. Everything was so overwhelming, and your mind is just starting to process it. You finally allow the tears to fall, mixing with the sweat coating your cheeks. It’s hard to tell which is causing more of the mess, but you let yourself cry it out as you run for the next few minutes. 
The next song that comes on is Venus by Bananarama. You almost chuckle at the fact that it’s a few years old by now, but the song is comforting. It reminds you of home, of a time before you had issues like these. You slow down the treadmill a little, singing to the words aloud once you catch your breath enough. Daring to do a little spin on the rolling surface, you groove along to the music, chuckling a little
After the first chorus, you hear a creaking noise and whip around to find a man standing in the doorway. “Jesus fucking Christ!” You shout before you can stop yourself, hopping off the treadmill and onto the non-moving one before you get flung off. Your heart is pounding from the running, only intensifying the adrenaline rush from the scare. 
The man chuckles a little, but the smile on his face doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s tired- of course he is, it’s now 2:30 in the morning. “Lo siento,” you offer in Spanish, cringing at yourself and your reaction just now. “I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here this late,” you stutter, still panting from the running. He shakes his head lightly. “You’re American,” he says simply. In English, in a beautifully American accented voice.
Your sweaty brow furrows, a glimmer of hope sparking inside your chest as you notice that he speaks like an American himself. “So are you.”
He nods at that. “That I am,” he says as he puts his things in a locker, snapping it shut behind him. He looks at you for a moment. You’re not working at the Embassy, or he’d know you. It was rare to find an American down here that wasn’t working for the government somehow. He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair, looking at how tired he appears in the big mirrored wall. He’s curious, but he’s exhausted. 
You look at him for a moment. “You going to explain anything, like, tell me about yourself? Or do I have to go first?” You ask, hands on your waist as you hop back on the slowly moving treadmill, back into moving. He doesn’t respond. “Fine. I know you’re government. I’m not an idiot.”
He chuckles and tugs on his t-shirt, moving to the treadmill next to you and getting on. It’s been ages since you’ve held a conversation in English, and you missed this, missed how easily your first language flows from your mouth. “And you’re not.”
“Correct,” you nod, turning up the speed a little on the machine until you’re at a light jog. “My bigger concern was going to be why you’re here at 2-fucking-30, but I’m guessing I know the answer. You get called in around here for the hit?” He nods, starting the treadmill up and walking on it. 
“You don’t have to be so guarded, Jesus. I fucking hate Escobar, I’m on your side,” you scoff before turning up the machine until you’re running once more.
Javier shrugs. “Makes sense. How did you know-”
“She died,” you say quickly and firmly, keeping your eyes straight ahead and looking at the room around you. “Add that to your file.”
He nods, understanding a little more now. You knew her somehow. He doesn’t say a word either, cranking up the machine and heading into a jog too.
A few more minutes pass of the two of you silently running next to each other, the American music still playing throughout the gym. It’s a comfort to Javier too. Tonight was shit for the DEA- they had known Escobar’s men would be around here. They had the intel, they had everything ready, but the men somehow had escaped and left a victim in their wake. 
The frustration of everything, of the man being something close to home for you yet being a brick wall, threatens your eyes with welling tears again. “I just wanted to talk with an American,” you sigh and cross your arms, moving back into the walking stage of a treadmill. 
The man next to you gives a similar sigh, stopping his treadmill completely and offering you a hand. “Javier Peña.” You take it reluctantly, feeling the sweat of both of your hands mix, and tell him your name before retracting it and stopping the treadmill too. “So, what brings you to the gym at 2:30?” He asks, crossing his arms and leaning against the center part of the treadmill. 
“I’m a nurse. I work the graveyard shift. Bad night, a patient died because she got fucking shot for having a boyfriend and not knowing he was a narco, I need to get something out, I come here,” you shrug, unconsciously mimicking him by folding your arms as well. 
He nods at that. “I’m here for the same. Shitty stakeout, I’m pissed off, I come here.” He leaves out the part about his favorite call girl being taken, and how he needed another way to get the rage inside of him out. He walks off of the treadmill and to the weight rack, pulling a bench beneath the bar.
You turn again and turn the machine back on, slowly jogging. “I see. Odd hours to be here, that’s why I asked,” you say simply. “And to see another American at such a time. I haven’t interacted with one since I came here.”
Javier nods, adjusting the weights on the bar. “Yeah. Weird,” he nods. “And that you’re an American who isn’t working for the government and you’re down here. What, you got a husband who works for us?”
You shake your head, swallowing hard for a moment. “No, don’t have a husband in the first place,” you admit, adjusting the ponytail holding your hair up. “It’s a long story.”
“We got time,” he shrugs as he gets on the bench beneath the rack, looking at you in the mirrored wall. Even with the sweat and the stress of working out, he notices that you’re gorgeous. You have a nice body, and even your face is pretty while you’re working out.
You shake your head. “Fine, if you really want to hear it.”
“Might as well. It’s that or more of this fucking Wham! music, and I’m sick of George Michael.”
“First of all, first person here gets the music, so mind your manners.” This finally earns a chuckle from the man, and you want to smile but it just can’t come. “I came down here with a man. He’s a citizen here. We were going to get married, but he left me. That was a couple of months ago now,” you admit, the tears beading in the corner of your eye again. “My work visa was still valid, and I renewed it so I can keep working at the hospital. I don’t really have anyone down here except the girls I work with, but I like helping out. They need me.” He nods a little as he listens, breaking his focus as he starts his reps with the bar.
“And you’re government, so that explains everything I need to know about you,” you continue to babble. “One of the girls I work with has a husband who’s at the Embassy. Murphy,” you say offhandedly. 
Javier’s attention is caught, and he sets the bar on the rack. “Murphy?” He asks, and you turn your head to look at him and give him a nod. “No shit. That’s my partner.”
You chuckle slightly and look back at him, stopping the treadmill. “So you know Connie?”
Javi nods. “Yeah, great gal. She could do better than Steve,” he says, sitting up.
You laugh softly at that. “From what I’ve heard of him, I agree. She’s a really great girl, you’re right,” you nod in agreement, looking back at him. “She’s never mentioned you. She says her husband’s in janitorial, but we all know that’s not true. What, you guys CIA? DEA?”
Javier nods again. “DEA.”
“I see,” you say, folding your arms and leaning against the machine. “Can’t make you many friends around here. I learned pretty quickly to keep my mouth shut about being a gringa. They can usually tell though.”
“You’re right,” he chuckles and cracks his back.
You bite your lip as you look at him, your voice watery when you can finally speak again, suddenly overwhelmed by emotion again. “It’s nice to talk to someone in English again,” you admit with a forced smile. 
He can read your eyes easily. You’re a nurse, and you told him that the victim died. You saw it. “It is,” he nods, reading your pain and trying to show you he empathizes with it. Your eyes are beautiful, he notices as he looks into them. So much more hope and trust than anyone else he works with, but the pain in them is unbearable. He looks away, leaning back on the bench to lift again.
“So where you from in the States?” You finally ask when the silence is too long. 
“Laredo, Texas,” he chuckles. “Yourself?”
322 notes · View notes
xoxo-teddybear · 3 years
Text
Oh, The Lies You Tell - Bakugou Katsuki - pt. 2
Bakugou x f!reader
Warnings: angst, trauma, abuse, betrayal, fluff, slice of life, smut, cursing, manipulation, possible spoilers, physical harm, 18+
BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST
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Ep. Warnings: fluff, childhood trauma, cursing, Bakugou kinda OOC, DADZAWA
Summary: More Bakugou x reader interaction! And Y/N’s first time training with the students and showing off her “quirk.” How will the students react?
Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9
Once you saw the familiar blonde, you smiled. “.....hey back, cutie.” You said with confidence. Bakugou only blushed at the comment and sucked his teeth as he rolled his eyes.
“Soo...you’re my escort?” You flirtatiously asked. You can’t help it, it’s just your personality. Plus, after years of villainous work, you had to learn how to speak with a calm and seductive voice to get your way with your victims.
“Yeah, that means I’m stuck with your dumbass for the next few months. So try to keep up and don’t you dare hold me back.” He ferociously said. You just giggled and went to mess with his unbuttoned shirt collar.
“Whatever you say, Fiesty,” as you examined his clothes, you just had to speak up again. “Whattup with the clothes? No tie, no tuck, no....prestigiousness?” Bakugou scoffed at your question.
“Oh yea? Like you’re one to talk. You completely changed your uniform. You realize the girls in UA don’t dress this-“ you cut him off.
“What? Rebellious?”
“I was gonna say hot.”
“That works too.”
“Suits you real well.”
“Oh, I bet it does,” you smirked. During your time throwing spitfire replies to one another, you realized how close both your faces have gotten. You saw ruby eyes, perfect porcelain skin with the perfect amount of tan, soft but fluffy, spiky, blonde hair, and a smirk that copied your own. As Bakugou was too busy admiring your looks, you gently placed two fingers under his chin.....and flicked his head upwards at the sky.
“Hehe...let’s go, Cutie. You gotta show me my dorm, remember? Cant stand here forever staring at me.” You chuckled to yourself.
“I was not doing any of that shitty woman!” Bakugou yelled. As Bakugou did that, Rumor ran right across him making his balance go all outta wack.
“Heh..yeah, sure.” You said as you walked off with Rumor, petting his head. Oh, this is gonna be fun.
——————————————————————————
On the walk to the dorms, you and Bakugou got to know each other quite well. Just the basics though. Favorite music, favorite foods, personality types, likes and dislikes, all that good stuff. You also both shared a little flirtatious banter, not that you minded, however it threw Bakugou off. When the fuck does he ever talk like that? As you both walked up to the entrance you realized something.
“Hey, you never asked me about my quirk. How come?” You asked as you both continued to walk to the doors.
“Don’t need to. I’ll see all I have to see tomorrow during training.” Bakugou said.
“Makes sense.” You replied.
“Of course it does,” He said as he opened the doors to give you a tour. You were in awe. Growing up, you never really had a home before the league. You slept in benches, jail cells, or straight on the ground outside in the rain. But this? Basically luxury to you, but of course you kept up a chill persona.
“This is the common area, kitchens over there, everyone gets their own bathrooms, the showers are that way, and I’ll show you to your dorm,” Bakugou said, giving you the “grand” tour. As you walked up to your room, you saw how already filled it was...but this wasn’t any of your stuff.
“Didn’t realize you were into music like that.” Bakugou said. When you turned to look at your desk, you saw how large it was and how there was a control panel they used at recording studios on it. Set up with it was a microphone that artist used when recording their songs and there was a mini keyboard and acoustic guitar set up on the side. Then it hit you. You had gone over your interest with Mr. Aizawa, guess he filled up the room to make you more comfortable OR to make it seem like you were a normal kid who actually had stuff. In reality, you had nothing but your villain costume (which you demanded to be kept) and Rumor.
“Umm...not really. I just sing a little and enjoy writing little songs. Nothing special really,” you replied to him. “Uh, could you give me a sec? I wanna change out of this uniform and relax a little.” You said to him.
“Yeah, sure. Dinner starts at 6 so be down by then and come meet the rest of the morons.” He said as he backed out the room and walked on to wherever. You began to explore the room. Rumor took comfort on the soft bed, and you looked at the recording area. It was amazing. You strummed the guitar, taking in it’s beautiful sound and dabbled on the keyboard. You then realized.
“Rumor! What am I gonna change in to?! I literally have nothing!” You said as you ran to your closet, astound when you saw the large amount of clothes, along with a little sticky note.
Enjoy the gift, Y/N! Cant wait to have you in class!
- Ms. Midnight
“Midnight, huh? Then these clothes must be hot as fuck!” You excitedly said. Safe to say you put on a little fashion show for yourself and Rumor. As you put on the clothes and made new outfits, you noticed how she had gone for the typical “baddie style.” Lots of ripped jeans, plenty of casual heels, thigh high boots, leather jackets, bomber jackets, crop tops, tube tops, and of course booty shorts. You also noticed the massive amount of jewelry given to you. Plenty of necklaces and anklets. Very pretty.
Once done with your little show, you and Rumor looked at the clock. 5:30.
“I think we should stay in here. Who needs dinner anyways?” Rumor only growled at you. He knew better. You both needed food and you should go down there and make some friends.
“Oh c’mon! We’ve gone days without food before, why not now?” You saw how Rumor gave you this look of ‘because it wasn’t available then’ and you rolled your eyes knowing your friend was right.
“Fineeeeeee,” you reluctantly said as Rumor gave a happy bark and wagged his tail. You changed into some comfortable clothes and went to the common area.
When walking down there, you saw a spikey read head, a tall black haired boy, a girl with long greenish hair, and then you saw Deku, Kaminari, Uraraka, Todoroki, and Bakugou. While they were talking, the red head took notice of yours and Rumor’s presence.
“Oh! Hey L/N! Rumor! Come join us!” How sweet of him to include Rumor. As you both walked towards a single open seat on a solo couch seat, you saw how everyone had their eyes set on you with a smile.
“Umm....hey.” You nervously let out with a small laugh. As you tried to settle, Rumor placed his head on your lap to calm you down and Bakugou took notice of this.
“Would you idiots stop staring at her like that? She’s obviously kinda nervous.” Bakugou said with his head thrown back on the couch. The red head then spoke up to agree.
“Oh right! Sorry about that L/N!” He said kindly.
“No, it’s no trouble. And you guys can quit the formalities and just call me Y/N. I don’t mind!” You sweetly said.
“Alright then, nice to meet you Y/N! I’m Eijirou Kirishima, this is Hanta Sero, and Tsuyu Asui. I’ve heard you already met these guys, and I’ve also heard you got Bakugou as your escort!” Bakugou growled at Kirishima for mentioning that.
“Yeah! He’s kinda.....bratty?” You teased. Bakugou only looked at you with wide angry eyes and a small blush.
“Ha, yeah. Bakubro can be a brute, but when you get to know the guy, you find out he’s just a big ole softie with rough ways.” He joked.
“I AIN’T SOFT SHITTY HAIR!” Bakugou screamed. The group just giggled and watch the interaction go on. You guys talked and laughed and they got to know about you and Rumor a little better. Finally, a girl with a black ponytail came in.
“Hey guys! Dinner’s ready! Oh! And L/N, we made 2 steaks for Rumor. I hope you don’t mind.” She said.
“Oh not at all! Thanks you guys, that was really sweet of you.” Rumor understood what was going on just by the scent in the air and he was excited. As you all walked to the table and took ur seats, everyone got to talking again. Dinner went on and Rumor was enjoying his steaks.
“Man..what a lucky dog. Steak for dinner.” Kirishima spoke. Everyone chuckled and continued on. The girl with the pony tail, who you learned was nicknamed Momo, walked in with a final pot.
“Okay you guys! This is the final dish! Just some Miso soup to peck on. Kaminari, can you go and grab the ladel?” As the blonde walked away, everyone was excited for the dish.
“Sorry guys, the soup is a little too hot. You should wait for it to cool down before digging in,” Momo said apologetically.
“Oh hey, no worries, I have a solution!” You said as you made a tiny little tornado with you air bending and sent it to the pot of soup on the table to cool it down. The massive amount of steam was clearly decreased and everyone thanked you.
“So your quirk is tiny tornadoes?” Bakugou whispered to you as he was the one sitting next to you.
“No, you dummy.” You giggled until you heard a crack. Everyone looked over and saw Kaminari broke the one and only ladel. Everyone booed and sighed at the loss of miso soup and the poor blonde just apologized with a nervous smile.
“It’s fine you guys, we don’t need a ladel. Who wants some miso?” You asked and everyone raised their hands. So, you used your water bending to pick up the soup give some to all your classmates. Everyone was confused but impressed.
“Okay, what the hell is your quirk?” Bakugou asked in confusion.
“You’ll find out soon, Cutie.”
“Whatever you say, Princess.” He replied back.
It was safe to say the new nickname left you in shock with some blush and you noticed everyone stopped eating to look at you both.
“........huh?!” The group simultaneously said with blank and confused faces as Bakugou yelled at them saying they heard nothing.
——————————————————————————
The next day the students met up with Mr. Aizawa wearing any comfortable gym/fighting attire. Instead of meeting at Gym Gamma, the teacher took his students out to the Sports Festival Areana. The students all buzzed with excitement, most only wanting to know the new student’s quirk and fight style.
“Okay, today we’ll be doing sparring matches. We’ve paired you all up based on skill level and experience. One battle at a time. Whoever makes it to the top 3, those students are excused from classes tomorrow. Get warmed up, take your seats, and I’ll call up the first two fighters.” Mr. Aizawa spoke.
The students were ready. Everyone was, but no one was prepared for you. They never saw your fight style, never saw you use your quirk for battle, never even saw you pick a fight. This’ll be interesting.
“Okay bud, since it’s a 1v1, you’re benched.” You spoke to Rumor. He whined at the fact that he wouldn’t be getting any action but nonetheless, listened to his best friend. “Oh don’t give me that sass, why don’t you go talk to Kirishima or Bakugou while I’m in battle. Fair?” Rumor huffed at you, but you took it as compliance.
“Hey, Princess.”
You turned to who called you and saw Bakugou and what appeared to be his little posse following him. It consisted of Kirishima, Sero, Kaminari, and Mina.
“Oh hey guys. What’s up?” You asked.
“We’re all pumped up to see your quirk! Those tricks you did during dinner last night had us all coming up with ideas on what it could be.” Mina squealed. “I guessed substance manipulation.”
“Telekinesis,” Kirishima said
“Weather powers,” Sero guessed
“Food control!” Kaminari answered. Oh what a piece of work that one is. Everyone looked at the fool with raised brows.
“Heh...guess not.” The goofy boy said with a scratch to his head. You all laughed and you looked towards Bakugou waiting for him to answer.
“Well..what’s your guess, Cutie?” You looked towards Bakugou as he just stared at you.
“Elements,” he said calmly. That shocked you. Who knew someone was gonna guess. Well, he was still wrong considering it wasn’t really a quirk but yeah.
“Just a guess. I’ll figure it out once I see you fight.” He added on.
“Oh yeah! Mr. Aizawa pairs us up based on skill level and experience! We’ll get to know more about how you fight based on your partner.” Mina said.
As the group continued talking, Mr. Aizawa finally came to speak up.
“Okay, listen up. I’m sure you’re all curious as to what L/N is able to do, so our first match we’ll be L/N vs. Todoroki.” Everyone had their jaws drop. Shoto Todoroki?!? He was one of the top students in the class in both intelligence and physical skill. He is an excellent fight with a powerful quirk. How the hell are you supposed to win. You only smirked and walked up to the fighting area. As you walked, a pair of red eyes followed you.
‘What the hell can this chick do?’ Bakugou thought to himself.
As you and Todoroki met in the middle facing each other with Mr. Aizawa in between you both, he spoke up.
“Okay, here are the rules......there are none. The match will begin when you hear the buzzer go off. You’ll hear 3 beeps then a ring, then you can spar. You can use your quirk at any level, do whatever you may please, do whatever it takes to win. The match stops when one of you falls off the square or is knocked out and unable to continue fighting. Understand?” He said while looking at both of you and speaking loud enough for everyone to hear. You both nodded your heads but Mr. Aizawa looked at you with a more stern stare.
“Do you understand, Y/N?” He asked once more. You nodded your head and waited for him to start the match. He walked off the field and went to sit with the class. They all stared in anticipation. Bakugou focused his eyes on you.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Ring!
At the first second, Todoroki used his left side to throw some fire your way. At the sight of the burning flames you only smirked and extended your hand. Everyone watched you do, what they thought was, nothing. They only saw you stand there.
“Y/N DO SOMETHING!” Bakugou screamed in fear of you getting hurt.
When the flames came close enough, you used your fire bending to move them around your body and attack Todoroki. The boy had a quick reaction and sent an ice wall towards you. Perfect. You ran to the ice coming your way and turned it into water, which you used to push back Todoroki, closer to the edge. You sent fire his way and he ran at you, dodging it and attempting to strike you. You flipped away from him. Everyone saw how acrobatic you were. When he came closer once more to punch you, you turned to you side and struck his right shoulder, paralyzing his arm.
Todoroki screamed in shock and pain as he realized he couldn’t feel his arm. He sent more fire to you, in which you used your air bending to put the flames out. You used your earth bending to lift the area that Todoroki was standing on into the air, as he flew through the air, you blasted fire from your feet to get up in the air and blasted him with a gust of wind that knocked him out the area of the square. When he fell to the ground, he hit the field instead of the square, meaning he lost. You fell closer to the concrete but used your fire to slow down before you could crash. Once you landed you looked around for Aizawa.
Beeeeeeeepppppp!!
“That’s the match. L/N wins.” You looked around and everyone still sat in shock. Nobody even clapped. They just looked so....impressed? Kaminari was in the middle of petting Rumor and when he stopped, Rumor noticed the match was over and saw you standing. He howled to cheer for you as everyone ran down to say something. As the crowd came up to you, you were hit with compliments.
As the class continued to hype you up, you saw how Bakugou still just stared at you. You walked over to him.
“Impressed?” You asked.
“......you’re good.” Bakugou still said in slight shock. You only laughed at his answer. You knew he thought more, but you weren’t gonna push him. Every one saw Todoroki get up and limp towards you.
“L/N....that was a great fight. You’re incredibly skilled.” He complimented.
“Thank you Todoroki. And please, I told you to call me Y/N.” You kindly said
“Right, of course...ah.” He hissed in pain. You felt bad for how hard you went on him.
“Here..let me just,” you took the moisture in the air and took water out of it. You used it to heal up Todoroki’s injuries and soothe his pain. “Feel better?”
“Very much, yes. Thank you.” He said.
“No problem, but your arm is a different story. I temporarily paralyzed it with my dim mak fighting style. It’ll take some minutes for it to come back fully.” You explained.
“Okay. That was really impressive. I had no idea there was a fighter like you.” He said once again.
“Whats dim mak?” Kirishima asked.
“It’s the fighting style I use. It’s attacks a person’s pressure points with quick and sharp jabs. It paralyzes a person or just a limb for a good hour depending on how hard I hit.” You replied.
“Pressure points?” Kaminari asked.
“They’re the parts in your body where you’re sensitive and can be detained when they’re hit. With that, it means I know the human body like the back of my hand. Thanks to that I’ve come up with a skill called Chi Blocking.” You explained.
“What’s that?” Mina asked.
“Something you’ll all find out about the next time Y/N fights. Until then, let’s have Todoroki get to recovery girl and let’s continue the matches.” Aizawa said. As everyone went to their seat and Aizawa called up Iida and Aoyama, Bakugou asked you a few questions.
“What the fuck was that?!” He asked.
“What?” You giggled.
“The fucking fire, and the wind, and you moved rocks and you turned his ice into water!!” He spasmed out.
“Uh huh...” you said with a smile and raised brow.
“A-and the flips! You flip and did a bunch of acrobatic tricks, and the jabs, the “dim mak,” it was- I was- it was-.......HUH” he exclaimed.
“Not like Bakugou to freak out over a fight like that. What happened to Mr. Cool Guy?” Denki said.
“You shut your mouth, Sparky!” Bakugou threatened. “Look, all I’m tryna ask is..how and when did you learn all of this? Your quirk is crazy OP, and your fighter skill is insane! Appreciate that bullshit cuz I don’t say shit like that often.”
You just laughed and sighed. You weren’t sure how to answer his question. “Umm,” you started “I don’t really know...I just-“ you were cut off by a mouse. Principle Nezu, you remembered him.
“Mr. Aizawa?” The peppy mouse asked.
“Yes?” Aizawa replied.
“May I speak with you? Concerning your new student and her transfers. There’s been a few complications with her paperwork that need to be solved.” He politely asked.
“Yes, I understand sir. Class, free day. Head back to your dorms but be sure to get in an hour and a half of training today. That’ll be all. Dismissed.” The pro said as he followed the principle. As students gathered to leave and head back to the dormitory, Bakugou stopped you.
“Hey, wait. You still gotta tell me how you learned all this, Princess.” He said.
“What’s there to say?” You awkwardly laughed out. “Uh..I discovered my...quirk.. while doing some work-“
“Work as a child?” Bakugou asked.
“Sorta. I discovered it there and then..I met someone who trained me how to fight like that.” You explained.
“Your parents must be really proud.” Bakugou slightly smiled.
“Umm..yeah, I bet they are.” You said kind of skiddish.
“I can imagine the look on their faces when they saw the pretty impressive quirk you got. My parents were pretty shocked too with mine.” He added on.
“Oh really? You can imagine their faces?” You laughed out nervously. ‘I sure can’t,’ you thought to yourself.
“I mean yeah. Parents usually....” you drowned him out. Parents...parents...parents...PARENTS. You snapped.
“Bakugou!” You said with tone. “I don’t have or know my parents....” you said as he stopped talking and dropped his jaw to the ground. Before he could say anything, you bit your lips, called Rumor to go, and left, leaving Bakugou in regret.
As you ran with slight tears in your eyes, you told Rumor to change into a giant wolf. He shifted and you hopped on him.
“Let’s go to the spot, Rumor.” You said as he took off.
——————————————————————————
When Rumor arrived at ‘The Spot’ you settled. The spot was beautiful. Tall trees, beautiful plants, plenty of adorable creatures, and a gorgeous pond right in the middle of it all. You layed against a tree as Rumor placed you down so you could stop your tears and he transformed back into his wolf-dog form and cuddled up against you.
“No parents...” you said aloud. Although sad you never really got to experience or meet your parents or what it’s like to have them or a family, you were conflicted. Yes it was sad not having parents or a family, but you never had one so it’s hard to tell how you feel about the topic. As the thoughts ran through your mind, your eyes glowed a bright white and when you opened them, you weren’t at the spot anymore.
“Hello....?” You said as you looked around. “Helloooo...?? Anyone there?”
“Welcome back to the spirit world, Y/N.” When you turned to your side, you were in awe.
“Avatar Korra!” You bowed to show respect but then went to hug your spiritual mentor. She embraced you with wide arms. She’s always been the friendly, open, optimistic type. “What am I doing here, Korra?”
“Why do you think you’re here, Y/N?” She said with a sly smile and hands on her hips, but beaming eyes.
“My parents?” You questioned but she only shook her head.
“Your path.” Korra stated.
“My path?” You asked.
“Yes. Or more so, the path you choose.” She corrected.
“I don’t understand.” You said.
As Korra continued to smile at you, you both stood still as the world shifted. You looked around and saw the LOV hideout.
“The league? I don’t understand, what does my path have to do with them?” You questioned, but before she said anything, the world shifted once more and you were infront of UA’s building.
“The school?....Oh, this isn’t some typa light and dark thing, is it?” You asked Korra.
“It is.” She replied back.
“Ugghhhh, we’ve been through this. I’m a bad person. I could never fit in with those goodie two shoes! I’m a member of the league of villains! Not heroes. My path is the darkness.” You stated.
“Is it? You weren’t born into darkness.” Korra said.
“What?....”
“Y/N, you’re not a bad person. Your a villain because of survival. That’s the life that you know. That’s the life that you were kidnapped into.” Korra began.
“Yeah but-“
“But nothing. You know in your heart you would much rather be a hero than some low life villain!” Korra exclaimed.
“No I couldn’t. They’re too good. I could never be that great. Hell, I’m on a plan to take down UA right now!” You said.
“And are you doing that because you want to? Or is it because you think the league is gonna torture you any less if you succeed......you don’t wanna take down the heroes. You wanna be like them.”
“I don’t.”
“You do.”
“I can’t!”
“But you can. You can be all these amazing things, but you’re just on the wrong path with the wrong people. All you have to do is make the choice to leave them. You want to be good, Y/N. It’s in your nature. You’re the avatar after all. It’s your destiny to bring peace to the world.”
Once Korra had said that, a flash came and you were back in the spot. You gasped as you returned and shook your head. You saw it had gotten dark now and figured it was best if you headed back. You woke up Rumor and asked him to become a giant wolf again. He shifted and brought you back to UA. Along the walk, you couldn’t help but think back to what Korra said.
“My path......light or dark...” you looked down at your palms and squeezed them shut in frustration. You huffed and looked ahead, and saw you arrived at the front of the dorms. Standing there, waiting for you, Mr. Aizawa.
“Welcome back.” He said to you.
“Hi...” you blankly said as you attempted to get past him. However, he stopped you from going in.
“Not so fast, we need to speak first before anything else.” He stated
“What about? Because I’ve had a really long and kinda frustrating day, and I don’t need some bullshit to fuck it up even more. I mean, I’m so aggravated that I-“ a piece of paper dangling in your face shut you up.
“What are those?” You asked the hero.
“Adoption papers. I’m now your legal guardian.” Aizawa stated.
“.........HUHHHHH?!?!???” There was no way this was happening. It couldn’t be. You??? Adopted??? By a pro hero??? One that you almost killed???
“Okay, I’m sorry but I don’t need a guardian. I’ve been by myself, on my own, the second I was born. No family raised me, no motherly figure, no nothing. It’s just been me, the spirits, and the villain who took care of me till I was, what, 5? And then kicked me out and left me stranded. I’ve been surviving on my own for over a decade, I don’t need you to look out for me.” You exclaimed.
“Yeah, don’t worry. I won’t be an annoying parent, I’m just your legal guardian. You’re still underage, meaning you’ll need permission for certain things to continue to move forward.” He explained to you. You thought about it, and damn it, he was right. If you wanted to go about this whole thing the legal way, you’d need this.
“.....Fine. Just don’t tell me what to do dAD,” you sarcastically said.
“I’m your guardian and teacher now, I can tell you whatever I want, brat. Now get inside, you’re past curfew.” He said but you only squinted your eyes at him in disbelief. Did he really give you a curfew?
“Student curfew. You live in the dorms, all students have to be in this building by 10:30,” he explained. You just scoffed and went inside with Rumor.
“Guess I have a dad now, Rumor.” You sighed. You never had a father before. It warmed your heart a little, but then you remembered he wasn’t really your dad. Just a guardian. As you walked into the common area, you saw the lights were out. The students must’ve been in their dorms. You walked to the kitchen to grab a snack before heading to bed but you saw Bakugou sitting there with a water bottle in hand. He seemed kinda bummed out. You cleared your voice to get his attention and when he looked up at you, you told Rumor to head to the room.
“Y-Y/N! Hey!..” he said to you.
“Heh..hi Bakugou...Umm..I’m sorry about the whole..running away thing. I just needed to clear my head a little.” You said as you took the seat next to him.
“No, don’t apologize. I’m.....i-.....I’m sorry for pushing you about the whole parent thing. I didn’t know.” He apologized. You only shook your head and stared at your hands before speaking up.
“It’s fine. How could you know? After all, I’ve only been here for 2 days. Besides, you didn’t really upset me, it’s just..I feel kinda outta place when the parent topic comes up. Guess I just freaked out,” you saw the look on his face. Disappointment. Is he that upset that hurt you? Or at least thought he did? “B-but don’t worry! I’m fine! For real! I’ve been parent-less for almost my entire life so it doesn’t sting like that. Hehe..wow Umm. Depressing. You know I feel like I’m rambling, am I rambling? Should I stop? I think I should shut up, or maybe I’m just gonna go now that I-“ Bakugou placed his hand on yours which shut you up real quick. You looked up at his face as he stared into your eyes.
“You can talk to me about it you know. It’s clear you wanna get some things off your chest and I’m really interested in you.” You raised your brow at that last sentence. He realized what he said and quickly tried to correct himself.
“I mean- uh- not like that, or um it could be like that! It could be, if you’re cool with that. But it’s not, or maybe, i don’t know, it’s not it’s, I was, it was, I- yeah I’m gonna stop talking now.” He cleared his throat at the end of that, settling down. You giggled and reassured him.
“No, no it’s fine. I really don’t mind. Umm, what do you wanna know. I’m fine with sharing anything.” You said.
“Okay, let’s just continue with this parent topic then....how were you raised?” He asked. This scared you. You had to be real careful with your choice of words or else your cover would be blown.
“Okay, let’s see. I was born in a place-“
“Oh really?” He teased.
“Shuddup,” you laughed and playfully hit his shoulder.
“And that place was..very private. Very unknown, but my parents Umm, i don’t really know what happened to them. The earliest thing I can remember is that..someone found me and told me my parents were gone, they weren’t my real family, they just took me in because they couldn’t let a baby die, and raised me till I was 5.” You said.
“And then?” He asked.
“You sure? It just goes down hill from here.” You warned. But he only nodded and asked for you to continue. You looked at your hands in your lap before continuing.
“I was kicked out. Left on the streets. I slept on park benches, in alleyway tunnels, on rooftops of buildings. I pawned for food and..” you didn’t know if you should admit the next part. But Bakugou held onto your hand and asked for more.
“And then?” He questioned.
“.....I did what I had to do to survive. I committed crimes, but I had to live. I was just a child and didn’t know what to do. If you look at me any different for what I did though, I won’t judge you.” You said. He squeezed your hand almost as if he was telling you he understood. He nodded and pleaded for more.
“After 2 years on the streets, a cult found me. An evil and dark cult. They used their quirks to torture people they kidnapped and made them slaves to create weapons. They kept us in cells and chains, working 24/7. It was there that I learned of my abilities. I found out I could control the 4 elements and their sub-elements. There, I also met a master. He was old and couldn’t fight anymore, but he saw the potential in me and taught me dim mak in the shadows. After a year of being enslaved there and secretly training, these people (the LOV) came in and killed the cult members and stole some of their weapons and destroyed the rest. Once I saw them taking down those horrible people, I used my abilities and they saw. I guess I impressed them and they recruited me to join their little family. I’ve been with them ever since. But then I met Mr. Aizawa and he asked me to join UA. Since the group I joined wasn’t really family, I didn’t need their permission. They were more like friends and they were even the ones who pushed me to come here.” You finished up your little story and saw Bakugou looked at you with worry in his eyes.
“And now I’m here! Sitting in a dim kitchen at UA with a cute boy at 11:00 p.m.” you said trying to cheer up the mood. “Bakugou...”
“You’re not..affected? By everything you’ve been through?”
“You don’t have to feel bad!”
“But I do! You’re here! You’re not...”
“Dead?” You teased.
“Basically!” You laughed at that.
“Y/N, I’m serious!” Bakugou tried to say.
“And so am I! You don’t have to be upset. I value everything I went through, all the good and bad.” You explained.
“Why?” He asked.
“Because it made me the kickass baddie that I am today!” You said flipping your hair and laughing. “Seriously though! Everything I went through made me who I am. It’s made me stronger, more independent. It lets me know I can handle myself. So I’m good, you don’t have to worry.” You said grabbing onto his hand again and reassuring him. He used his thumb to rub at your hand and enjoy the feeling.
“You are...probably the strongest person I’ve ever met.” He said calmly with a small SMALL smile on his face as he looked at you.
“I’ll also bet that I’m also the only “criminal” that you look like you wanna kiss.” You playfully said.
“Maybe I do...” he said with a smirk and soft voice as he leaned in closer.
“And maybe I’ll let you..” you said as you leaned in. As you two got closer and closer, your eyes filled with daze and the world around you two fell apart. It was just you and him in that moment. Until it was ruined. Just as your lips were about to touch, Mr. Aizawa came in.
“Hey!” He shouted
“GAH!” You both screamed and jumped away from each other with a blush adoring both your faces. Aizawa walked up to both of you, shoving the adoption papers in bakugou’s face.
“No smooching with my newly adopted daughter!” He said with a stern voice.
“I’m not your daughter! You’re just my guardian and it only happened like a few hours ago!” You stated.
“You can’t tell me who I can and can’t kiss, old man.” Bakugou said.
“Listen you little punk! I outta...” then Bakugou and your teacher were now going at it, yelling over each other and saying whatever, completely leaving you outta the conversation. You let out a little gust of wind to shut them up and get their attention.
“Okay, it’s late, tomorrow is Saturday, so you two won’t have to see each other, MAYBE, for 2 days. Can we just let this whole thing cool over?” You asked.
“We can, I’m just annoyed at the fact that this dynamite stick was gonna steal my daughter away from me!” Aizawa complained.
“I wasn’t stealing her, I was-“
“STOLEEEEEEE” Aizawa corrected and Bakugou just sucked his teeth and looked around.
“Whatever, can we just let it go?” You asked again. They nodded and you all went your separate way. Except for the fact that once Aizawa was outta sight, Bakugou went running right back to you and walked you to your dorm.
“Sooo..about that kiss.” Bakugou said. You just giggled and opened the door to your room.
“Goodnight, Bakugou,” you said but as you were about to walk in, he said something else.
“Katsuki.”
“Huh?” You said looking back at him.
“Katsuki. It’s my name. You can call me Katsuki.” He explained.
“Wow, trust me that much?” You teased.
“You trusted me enough to open up, this is the least I could do.” He said. You smiled and corrected yourself.
“Okay then...goodnight, Katsuki.” You said smiling. He pulled you in by your waists and held you close as he placed a soft kiss to your cheek.
“Goodnight, Princess.” He said and walked off.
A/N: Ok Cubs! That was the second part and in here we got to see the spirit world! We’re intorduced to Avatar Korra and we’ve discovered Y/N is the present avatar! How do we feel about this? Good? Bad? Let me know!!! I hope your enjoying the story so far. I know it’s kinda weird and all outta disorder but this is my personal day dream that I wanna bring to life that I’m hoping some of you enjoy. It’s just a jumble of avatar elements with a BNHA/MHA base. Please be patient with me! I know this is a Bakugou x Reader fic but it is also a story. It’s gonna grow and build and once we establish the basics, more Bakugou x Reader issues will show up along the way! I hope you’ve liked it so far! See you next time! 💗🧸
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kyoongboxi · 3 years
Text
Delight —
[Baekhyun AU]
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— Summertime with Baekhyun —
Summary; You were going to a waterpark to spend your summer with your highschool friends but who would have thought it would be your first meeting after a long time with your all-time highschool crush, Baekhyun.
Pairing; Baekhyun x Reader
Genre; fluff, cute, romance.
——
You've already passed almost three years of college. You feel like you've been through everything started from missing the class especially the one which started in the morning, missing assignments, lack of sleep, skipping the class because of certain things, and others. You also rarely going out in season break because you feel like you didn't really need that. And now summer break is here again.
You were planning to go back to your parents house and spending time probably at the beach just like every summer with your little sister. But the last few days, your high school chat group is always ringing non-stop. Actually you don't care at all but your name keeps being mentioned in the group chat. It said you have to come because everyone misses you. You frowned as you scroll up the group chat and it turned out they're planning to go into a reunion in a local waterpark.
You were about to type something but your phone screen suddenly changed. Showing your high school's bestfriend name on it. Kayla. She was begging you to come because she also hasn't seen you in a long time. At first you were firm in your choice that you wouldn't come but Kayla who kept on sulking managed to melt your heart. You agreed.
And now here you are. Dressing in a simple black swimsuit, watching Kayla and your other friends splashing water into each other. You bend your knees a little so the water reached below your chest. There was a few people including your bestfriend below the big bucket waiting for it to be filled with water and creating a big splash of water when it spilled. Kayla noticed you were watching and she's gesturing you to come.
A laugh escaped your lips as you keep shaking your head telling that you didn't want to come. You don't really like playing in the waterpark because you almost seeing death when you were playing on a waterslide with your friends in high school. You disobeyed the playing procedure. At that time you were sitting on the front, followed by three of your friends in the back. The height of the swimming pool was more than 1,6 meters. You thought it wasn't a problem at all because you can swim. But then you were drowned for about three minutes because your friends keep pushing you down accidentally.
You pushed away your thoughts as the bucket spilled causing a big splash of water and people screaming happily. A smile automatically drew against your lips as you saw Kayla laughing with her friends. Not long after, she was approaching you and splashing you with water.
"Let's go to the waterslide. Wanna come? C'mon bestie just this time?" Kayla asked you suddenly. She knows everything about what happened to you back then so there was a little hesitation slipped between her tone.
"I don't—"
"Aaahh.. Please? You're gonna be fine. I promise. Yeah?" Then she did that again. Showing her puppy eyes and grasping your hands with her.
You rolled your eyes at her before getting up from the water and agreeing. Kayla jumped and pulled you into a tight hug. You both were giggling until your friends approaching you and heading into the waterslide together. There was around nine people including you who wants to play the waterslide.
You climb the stairs carefully with your heart starting to race inside your chest. It was your first time trying this again since that accident. Kayla noticed your stiff movement and she throws her arm around your shoulder and telling you you're going to be just fine.
"Loosen up a bit.. You're fine. Okay? All your friends in here we wouldn't let you drown" Hearing the last sentence, your hands automatically flew to her chest. Hitting her lightly caused your friend to laugh.
After a few minute climbing up the stairs, you and your friends finally reached the top. You peeking out how far the waterslide is and it was kinda long. Maybe it took around one minute or more for reaching the ground. You shivered but your thoughts being pushed away when four of your friends already sliding down through it using the yellow swimming tire made for four people.
You immediately glancing around because now only five people are left and four of them including Kayla was getting ready to start their adventure. Your friends only brought a two swimming tire and basically it only fits for eight people.
"Gu—guys.." You called out and four of them glancing against your direction.
"The tire was made for four people and— we were five. I— I don't want go alone.. I'll just going down using the stairs—"
"Right— I'm sorry I didn't realize that. That's fine I'll come down using the stairs with you—" Kayla spoke and getting up from the tire, walking towards where you stand at the corner but you stopped her by saying its fine.
"No no.. Kayla you can join them. Its fine actually— I'm having a doubt for sliding this down" You gestured. "I'm going to use the stairs. Its fine— guys" You let out an awkward laugh and Kayla sent you an apologetic look meanwhile the other three was calling her to come with them.
"Its fine, Kay. Just wait for me" You spoke softly.
"Okay then—" She nodded and turned her back to you. "I'll wait on the pool. Join us asap, yeah?" Kayla turned her head around once again and you nodded.
They disappeared against the waterslide tunnel not long after and you could hear their muffled laughter echoing through it. You sighed and wraps your arms around your torso. You shouldn't have agreeing to come because now you feel bad for ruining your friends summer time.
You turned around walking towards the stairs. You keep your head down and you saw a man feet walking in the same direction. Without thinking twice you move aside, letting him to walk first but a familiar voice calling your name caused you to looked up.
You feel like someone is pulling you harshly into the same hole that leading into your past when your eyes met those warm yet captivating brown eyes you wished you will never see again. Baekhyun, Byun Baekhyun. Your biggest crush ever when you were in the high school.
He was there. Looking at you with one arm holding the yellow swimming tire behind his back. The last time you saw him on his Instastory, his hair was white. But now he dyed his hair into a darker color. Slightly wet and half parted. It was like he's been running his fingers through his hair because it was a little bit messy. And you noticed that he was wearing a black shirt that clutching into his skin perfectly paired with red shorts. All wet.
Oh you just want to disappear and curse at Kayla for not telling you he was also coming. You feel shy under his gaze because you noticed he was looking at your exposed skin before going back into your eyes. You hugged your exposed torso a little bit tighter and shoot him a smile. A forced one because it was too obvious and Baekhyun noticed your awkwardness.
"I thought you went down already with Kayla and the others?" Baekhyun finally spoke. "I just talked to someone a few minutes ago and I told Lucas to going first with the others. Did he join you?" And now you realized you missed him that much. Even his voice sounds like a great lullaby when it reached your ears.
You could only nodded because you feel like your tongue are tied and its very hard to speak. Your heart keep thumping loudly meanwhile your brain keep telling you to leave him. Right now.
"Ah I see.. And— what happened to you why didn't you joining?"
And you finally open your mouth. "They only brought two tire— only fits for four people— all of us were nine so I didn't get the space" You answered with a soft laugh.
"And now you wanna go down using the stairs?" He asked again as he put the yellow tire on the slide.
You nodded.
Baekhyun glanced at you. A smile drew against his lips showing his teeth and those cute cheeks. "Wanna slide together?" He offered.
Your eyes widened immediately as you heard those words rolling out his tongue. Slide together? Hell nah. "But— you only brought the tire designed for one people—"
He chuckled. "Not a big problem. You can sit on my lap" He answered easily. "C'mon"
You close your eyes for a sec and trying to control your breathing because God this man is crazy and your heart is also beating crazily. "I'm sorry Baekhyun, but I got a trauma—"
"I know, I know. I would never forget that" He shook his head and threw his gaze into another direction before coming back to you. "I'll hold you tight. You're gonna be fine. C'mon" He then offered his hand to you.
Both your heart and mind is racing. You really didn't know what to do and what to choose. "C'mon.. You should live a little we both still young. I know you since long ago. You trusted me, right?"
Did you trust him? "Is that okay with you if I sit on your— la— lap?"
"More than okay. Let's go"
Baekhyun climbed against the tire. Trying to find the right position with his legs spread open. Once he was done, he gestured for you to sit on top of him. To sit on his lap.
You walked up slowly towards him with a shaky legs and you just hope he didn't noticed. Take a deep breath, you crouched down to sit against his lap carefully. You could feel the wet material of his shorts rubbing against your inner thighs as you sit down. His right arm immediately snakes around your naked torso and you shivered because his skin feels cold against your warm one meanwhile his other hand clutching into the side of the tire for safety. Your both hands also joining him clutching the side of it.
"Ready?" He spoke softly against your ear. His breath caressed your skin.
You nodded softly before you closed your eyes. You don't want to see everything. You were scared of being drowned. "Relax.." Baekhyun tightened his grip around your body. "We'll go in one.. Two.."
"Three!"
With that, you could feel the tire sliding down in a fast motion. Moving deeper inside the tunnel of the waterslide. You could hear the man behind you screaming and laughing happily when you wouldn't dare to open your eyes. It took around one minute or more for reaching the pool and the next thing you realized was your body being slammed hard into the water as your breath hitched in your throat. A lot of water filling up your nose and you panicked. But you were pulled to the surface just in time as a pair of arms wrapped around your body.
You couldn't help but clutching into his arms as you coughed. Your breathing was fast and you probably looks like a dying fish in the hand of the fisherman. "Easy— easy... Let it out" You heard Baekhyun talk as he patted your back soothingly.
A minute passed and you were greeted by his warm gaze. You could tell he was worried about you from the way he looks at you in your eyes. "Are you okay?"
You nodded and let out a laugh as you throw your arms around his neck. Pulling him into your embrace. "I'm alright. I'm— I'm so sorry Baekhyun"
He gladly returned your embrace and running his fingers against your tangled locks. "That's fine. You're okay. We both fine. You trusted me, didn't you?"
You nodded and close your eyes again. You could feel Baekhyun chuckled because your chest was pressed against him. "Let's go for another ride then?" He asked you.
And not far from where you were at, stood Kayla smiling and winked against the man. Baekhyun nodded and raised his thumb towards her. Mission success.
——
Hello! I'm back again hehe thankyou so much for your feedback on my first entry! I love you ❤❤ more are definitely coming please wait for me ehehe ‘ㅅ’!
And oh I can't replying to comments I'm kinda new on this app could someone please tell me how to? Thankyou 😂😭😭
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canary3d-obsessed · 3 years
Text
Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 21, part one
(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)
Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!
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Reunions
All together in The Unclean Realm, The Yunmeng trio find a spot inside where they can sit down and have a proper Yanli-Wuxian reunion, while Jiang Cheng sits across the table watching them. 
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For years Jiang Cheng has been rejecting Wei Wuxian's free and easy affection; now Yanli might be the only person Wei Wuxian offers to hug until Wen Yuan comes into his life.
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Jiang Cheng is really going through it. He'll do nearly anything for Yanli--except, uh, stay in the goddamn inn with her when she's sick and the Wens are hunting them--and what makes her happiest is Wei Wuxian. He's brought them together, and so he's happy, even though he's excluded from their dynamic. This absolutely fucking kills me.
Here Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian are sweetly pledging to always keep the trio together and put each other first. Neither of them will keep this promise. 
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Wei Wuxian will leave first, to take the Wens to the Burial Mounds. Jiang Yanli will leave second, staying in Lanling at Jin Zixuan's request instead of accompanying Jiang Cheng to retrieve Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng will be the last to let go.
(more after the cut)
Nie Huaisang comes literally running in, filled with joy at Wei Wuxian's return. When he goes to pat his shoulder Wei Wuxian flinches away.
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I feel like something important is happening in this rapid sequence of glances and expressions between Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang. NHS is startled, and WWX realizes he's shown something about himself that he didn't want to show. He glances at Jiang Cheng and back at NHS before laughing and covering his slip with a squeeze of NHS’s hand.
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NHS switches from shocked to cheerful just as quickly, helping with the coverup. It’s like they have a quick mutual agreement, rooted in their history of shared shenanigans, to not point out that something is wrong.
Meanwhile, Lan Wangji is wandering around the grounds, having feelings. At this point it's presumably been at least a couple of weeks since their breakup fight. 
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He sees Wei Wuxian sitting contemplating his flute, and as he sees him he goes from sort of neutrally apprehensive to full on angry judging, complete with sword clenching. 
Part of this may be that his feelings are hurt over their fight, but the larger issue is his distress over Wei Wuxian's apparent heretical cultivation.  That, at any rate, is what's on his mind when he's selecting music, later in the episode, and when he's selecting flashbacks. 
Party Time
Later, the Nies host an excruciating party to celebrate Wei Wuxian's slaughter of Wen Chao return. Jiang Yanli is sharing a table with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng is sharing a table with his crippling social anxiety. 
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Everyone starts grilling Wei Wuxian about his sword, because that's suddenly all anybody cares about even though Jiang Yanli, Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao, and probably plenty of other people don't carry swords most of the time.
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Wei Wuxian says "after the Wens caught me, Wen Zhuliu crushed my core, so I can't use my sword any more, too bad so sad, can we change the subject?" And everyone is very understanding and admires his resiliency. HA HA HA HA HA. Of course he doesn't opt for that simple lie, but instead mopes audibly without saying anything.
Nie Huasiang tries to change the subject by asking how he killed Wen Chao. Apparently "I had a sexy ghost mostly flay him" isn't good party chat, though, so neither Wei Wuxian nor Jiang Cheng opts to tell the story. 
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Everyone lapses into awkward silence, all the more noticeable because there are no dancers, musicians, or entertainers of any kind at this event. OP has gone to audit-kickoff meetings that were more fun than cultivator banquets.
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Moment of Clarity
While the awkwardness builds, we hear the sounds of the Song of Clarity. Lan Wangji is skipping the party, which is part of why Wei Wuxian is so mopey. But instead of sitting and stewing in his anger, Lan Wangji has shifted gears, and is starting to work on his "save Wei Wuxian's soul" plan.
This isn't the God-botherer version of soul saving, however. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian disagree about correct practice, but they both are still practitioners within the same spiritual system, and the majority of their beliefs are closely aligned.
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Lan Wangji has powerful magic at his disposal, and now he's taking a step back from his plan of forcing persuading Wei Wuxian to give up heterodoxy, and instead he's preparing to use his magic to offset the consequences of Wei Wuxian's choice.
He still isn't ready to accept that choice, but he's working on it. This is a big moment for Lan Wangji's relationship with Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji is a deeply, deeply uncompromising person, as well as being super bossy, and he’s taking his first steps toward supporting Wei Wuxian’s free agency. 
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Wei Wuxian leaves the party in the middle of Yao's toast, saying "I have to see you and your lover all over my tumblr dashboard but I am NOT going to listen to you talk!" He takes his wine to go roam around near Lan Wangji's quarters to pine and feel conflicted.  Lan Wangji has thoughtfully set up a projection scrim to catch his shadow and make the pining easier.
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Jiang Cheng comes looking for Wei Wuxian, partly to reprimand him for rudeness and partly to see what the hell is wrong with him. Jiang Cheng is trying very hard to be pleasant. He's bad at it, but he's trying.
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Wei Wuxian is trying to be unpleasant and he's pretty good at it. He won't say why he isn't using his sword. He’s obviously super fucking depressed about it, calling his former self childish for liking to spar, and only smiling once during the whole exchange.
He finally tells Jiang Cheng that he will always want to do the opposite of what Jiang Cheng tells him.  Jiang Cheng lets this go with an eyeroll.
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(Point Break Quote Alert)
But actually this is a sign of trouble, right here in River City, with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for abandoning the Jiang Clan. Wei Wuxian has just told Jiang Cheng he has no intention of obeying him; not just about the sword, but in general. That's no way for a disciple to talk. 
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OP has nothing to say about this gif. OP watches gif over and over and over and over
Wei Wuxian ends the conversation by tapping Jiang Cheng's chest with his flute and then walking away. The (still nameless) flute has no problem with this - does it, like Subian, recognize Jiang Cheng as an extension of Wei Wuxian?
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The next day, Wei Wuxian is chilling in his room, looking ungodly sexy in his bold slashed robe, holy frack. I mean, he is sex-on-toast at all times, but the cut of his post-burial-mounds combo is particularly heart-stopping when he decides to stick a knee or two out. 
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He's meditating and flashing back to being in the burial mounds, where he was also meditating. I admire his ability to fractally meditate about meditating. 
Chenqing
He didn't put a sock on the doorknob, so Jiang Yanli comes in and startles him. He brandishes his flute at her before calming down. The flute definitely does not see her as an extension of Wei Wuxian, because when she touches it, it smokes and then knocks her out of the frame so fast it's comical.
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Did they put her in a jerk vest for that shot?
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Wei Wuxian hides the flute from her, freaked out by its behavior. She, however, is unfazed, and gives him the first & only affirmation he's gotten about his new cultivation path, and says the flute is "like Mother's Zidian."  She kind of walks him through the whole "first class spiritual tool" concept, beaming with approval and telling him he must name the flute.  
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Jiang Yanli is hardcore Jiang Clan, seriously. Freedom and impossibility. You survived 3 months of mystery trauma and now you're all fucked up? We'll roll with it. You have a demon flute now? Rock on. You're going to use necromancy to beat the other clans in a group hunt? Gold star for you.
He names the flute Chenqing, which @hunxi-guilai​ translates and explains in depth over here.
Bichen
Lan Wangji has finished practicing the Song of Clarity, and regardless of whether it's had an effect on Wei Wuxian, he himself seems much calmer. 
As Wei Wuxian contemplates Chenqing, Lan Wangji contemplates Bichen and remembers Wei Wuxian's assertions about resentful energy way back in Gusu summer school. 
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This time when he grips his sword, it's loosely, as if he's made some progress with his anger.
Soup
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Jiang Yanli sits Wei Wuxian down for some soup, and talks to him about what's going on with him, saying he's changed. He insists he's fine and works very hard to be convincing.
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She's not convinced but says she won't press him, and then abruptly shifts tone and works very hard to act like everything is fine. She leaves, taking a lot of soup with her, and Wei Wuxian remarks that it's unfair she is giving so much to Jiang Cheng. But of course, some of it is secretly for Jin Zixuan.
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Everything isn't fine, as Wei Wuxian scream-meditates with resentful energy just rolling off of him. He's got some of the dark energy stored in the Yin sword in his bag of holding, but I get the impression that a lot of it is just stored in his body.
Club Ruohan
At some point in the episode we stop in to check on Wen Ruohan. He and his wind machine are mad that Wen Chao is dead. 
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Meanwhile, his interpretive dances with the Yin iron now turn his puppets into...Klingons? Sure, why not. 
Literal Stand-Up Meeting 
Jiang Cheng needs Wei Wuxian at games night a meeting and comes running to Jiang Yanli to find him. He is freaking out and she tells him to chill. 
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No matter what fuckery is going on in the world, Jiang Yanli is going to find herself a nice little outdoor table and she is going to sit her ass down and have some tea and civilized lady activity. Queen.
This shot of the meeting is composed so nicely. The blocking (placement of actors) in this scene encapsulates the familial dynamics, and I’ll talk about that as soon as I finish admiring Jiang Cheng’s proportions. 
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Here we have four clans represented by four family pairs around the game war table. The Jin cousins, despite their differing personalities, are side by side, matchy-matchy, in lockstep. Jin Zixuan lets Jin Zixun do the talking for him, so maintains his own rep as a reasonable guy.  
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The Nie brothers are even closer together, also in matching greys, Nie Huaisang giving all of his attention to his brother/clan leader. You can see his careful watching of his brother's temper...not fearful for himself, but fearful for Mingjue.
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The Lan brothers have a growing distance between them; they are in different colors (which is pretty usual for them), and Lan Wangji is standing well away from his brother and the rest of the group. Partly this is his personality, but it's also symbolic of his growing distance from his brother and other proper cultivators. He's carrying WWX-related secrets, and he's wrestling with what he's learned.  
While Nie Huaisang is looking at Mingjue, Lan Xichen is turning around to see what's up with his own volatile sibling.
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Lastly you have Jiang Cheng, alone in the room, with his shidi nowhere to be found, and seriously feeling the heat because of his isolation. 
He's alone in his purple, but the color value (lightness/darkness) of his robes exactly matches Xichen's. 
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And Xichen, bless him, makes a point of speaking to him respectfully as a fellow clan leader, gives him a path out of the "where is your brother" conversation, and is just generally his kind and helpful self with Jiang Cheng.
Next: Awkwardness Increases!
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