#also sorry @ everyone who followed me for serious art and all that im sorry

[delulluart]

Due to a discussion on Discord on how he lives for pleasuring his partners, I bring y'all this -

and would like to apologize to my family who always supported me in pursuing the arts - only for me to end up doing things like this.

Plushia-free version here. Sorry for the intense Plushia, but tumblr's algorithm blocked this one right away. Please follow the link. I promise it's actually not a bad painting :(

#The band ghost #ghost #cardinal copia #copia #papa emeritus iv #the socks stay ON #also sorry @ everyone who followed me for serious art and all that im sorry #i used the classic plushia but tumblr completely blocked it so...sorry for this cursed thing

[blythsholland]

No More Secrets!

Pairing: Tom Blyth x Actress!reader

Warnings: None.

Summary: You join the cast of TBOSAS, sparks fly between you and Tom, and fans are quick to notice some things.

AN: For the sake of this social media au, let’s pretend spiderman: no way home was being filmed as well!

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

thehungergames posted a photo

liked by youruser, variety, tomblyth, zendaya and others.

thehungergames Rising Star @ youruser has joined the cast for the upcoming Hunger Games prequel: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, lead by Tom Blyth and Rachel Zegler. Character details still unknown. (📸 Getty)

View all 2,345K comments

youruser I’m so happy and excited to join such wonderful cast! 🤍🤍🤍

tomblyth Welcome to the hunger games! 🐍🕊️

↪️ youruser Can’t wait to work with you! 🫶🏻

↪️ user The hands heart emoji… oh I ship it already!

rachelzegler Fans aren’t ready! 👀

userfan If I have to guess, I’d say she’s playing someone from the academy. Maybe even have a relationship with Coryo.

comment liked by youruser

↪️ youruser You just have to wait and see!🤫

user1 AHHHH IM SO HAPPY. I just know she’s going to be amazing in this!

youruser posted a photo

Liked by tomblyth, tomholland2013, jacobbatalon, zendaya and others.

youruser That’s a wrap on No Way Home! 🎬 Grateful for this amazing opportunity! Catch me in the FoS crew!!! Iykyk 🕸️🕷️

View all 2,123k comments

zendaya I’m going to miss youuuu 🥺

↪️ youruser I’m gonna miss you too :(

jacobbatalon FoS crew let’s goooooo!! 🤙🏽

tomholland2013 now why would you post that pic of me giving the finger 😂

↪️ youruser your beautiful girlfriend told me to post and I follow orders!

↪️ zendaya you bet I did! sorry love @ tomholland2013 😂🩷

userfan1 FoS?!?!? What does that mean???

user @ userfan1 It means friends of spiderman. If you saw FFH they mention this towards the end!

blythloverrrr This is like the 4th consecutive post Tom has liked of youruser 👀

↪️ youruserfans1 right 👀 apparently he also liked one or two edits of her not too long ago.

↪️ blythloverrrr that’s interesting ✍🏼

youruserupdates_

liked by user1, blythloverrrr, userfan22, and others.

youruserupdates_ @ youruser posted on her story this morning on her way to Berlin . And surprise, a fan spotted Tom Blyth picking her up at the airport. The two of them shared a hug that looked very cozy. 👀

View all 125 comments

blythloverrrr that’s a cozy hug indeed. ✍🏼

userfan2 relax guys, they’re just friends!

user1 @ userfan2 who’s saying they aren’t?

youruserfans okay but can we acknowledge the fact that he went to pick her up? that’s so sweet!

user23 I ship them idc!!!

user3 him liking almost all her posts, liking some of her edits and now he’s picking her up??? Something is happening idk. 🫢

blythfan can a guy and girl be just friends? let them be!

youruser posted a photo

liked by tomblyth, tomholland2013, zendaya, rachelzegler and others.

tagged: tomholland2013, zendaya, rachelzegler, tomblyth

youruser Life lately 🤍

View all 4,589K comments

tomholland2013 gonna tell Sony to make that pic of me the official poster for nwh 😂

↪️ youruser you’re so unserious 😭

hunterschafer I’m going to meet you as soon as I get on set next week!

↪️ youruser YES PLEASE! 🥹

rachelzegler 🩷🩷🩷 that pic tho, tom can’t never be serious.

lionsgate Coriolanus snow, part time model!

user1 that pic of Tom belongs on an art museum!

blythloverrrr okay but the last pic??? Is everyone seeing this??? 👁️

user123 IS THAT TOM ON THE LAST PIC?? THE HAND HOLD??? THE ROSE???

user Yeah they’re definitely dating, I have no proof but I also have no doubts 👀

tomblyth 🤍🤍🤍

comment liked by youruser

↪️ youruser 🥰

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

part 2? 👀

If you want to be tagged let me know!!

#tom blyth x reader #tom blyth x actress!reader #tom blyth x fem!reader #tom blyth #tom blyth social media au

[exhaslo]

omg i like love ur writing so much its like not even funny i look forward to each thing you write

so im thinking: Miguel as like ghost from modern warfare and clumsy new recruit reader whos actually super good at what they do but the twist is that she uses the art of catching people off guard to fight aka flashing enemies her bewbs

so Miguel’s annoyed over that because its such an “indecent” tactic but it works because even he gets caught like a deer in headlights when she does that. So like ig like in the middle of a mission she does it again and miguel straight up challenges her to to it to him and things get steamy ???????????

Aweeeee, thank you!!! It means a lot to me that you read and like my writing!!! Also, I suck at FPS games, so I never played COD MW, but I can try my best with this one, haha

So sorry that I got to this so late! I'm still catching up to so many requests from last month! But I can totally do this! Sounds really fun haha!

Warning: MINORS DNI, smut, breast play, flashing, semi-public sex, grinding, oral (male receiving)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was supposed to be a serious game of friendly fire. This was supposed to be preparing everyone for the competition that was coming up with their rivals. This was supposed to be taken seriously as if everyone was really in the middle of the battlefield.

So why couldn't you?

Miguel was in awe as he read your stats and files. You had nearly a perfect score when shooting down the enemy team. Hell, you even had some military background, but yet you left there and applied here, which made him a little curious.

Miguel was also from the military, so he knew the rules and procedures. The only way he was going to find out more about you was the join you in action. Perhaps you were hiding something and could be used when Miguel had to get called onto the military again for a mission.

"We'll see tomorrow," Miguel hummed to himself, placing your file next to his usual ghost mask.

--------

This was a first. Miguel was impressed with you when you first came into the shop, gearing up and grabbing your weapons. You gave off a professional aura. Miguel was going to enjoy this fun little game and who knows, perhaps he could enlist you.

At least the thought last for a solid five minutes until the game actually began. You all split up, but Miguel stayed somewhat close by to you to watch you in action. You had everything set up and kept your focus for the enemies, but once you spotted one.

"Haha!" You yelled as you flashed your tits.

Miguel's eyes widen at the sheer shock of the action, but once you revealed your boobs, you immediately fired at the poor soul.

"Sucker," You said with a grin before fixing your shirt.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Miguel hissed as he stormed over to you. Your eyes glanced over at his tall dementor, knowing that he was hiding his anger behind his mask,

"Hm? It's friendly fire, all that matters is who wins." You said with a sweet chirp.

All Miguel could do was ask you to not do it again. You gave him a cute pout, apologizing before grabbing your gun and running off. Still not trusting your words, Miguel followed you to keep an eye on you.

---------

Miguel was beyond frustrated. While team did win with an overwhelming victory, the shame behind it was what made him mad. You had the most kills, all thanks to your little trick. It was a shame to the game, but there was no one else complaining but Miguel.

"Yai! Good game guys!!" You cheered, jumping in place.

"Hehe, good game." The enemy team chuckled, staring at your breasts. You smiled and made your way to Miguel,

"Aren't I good?" You said with a grin. Miguel glared at you, but you couldn't tell because of his mask,

"If this were a real war, would you even consider doing it?" He had to ask. You raised a brow,

"As much fun as it would be, there is no chance a real enemy will be swayed by my boobs."

"Hn, there's another friendly fire match in two hours. Can you join, and if you do, don't use your trick."

"Yeah!" You smiled brightly before giving another pout, "Fine. I suppose I could show you that I'm still a good shot."

"Good." Miguel said with a heavy sigh before leaving to his office.

You waved towards him, resisting a chuckle. At least he wasn't complaining about the size of your breasts. Besides, Miguel was fuming with anger, so he must be silently liking the trick too. At least you hoped he did.

----------

Miguel cussed quickly as he gripped the edge of his desk while pumping his dick in his hand. How frustrating it was to watch you carelessly show off those perfect bouncy breasts to other men like it was nothing.

It felt shameful to Miguel for even thinking about how perfect those breasts would look under him. His hands grouping them, giving you a reason to behave next time. You just looked so innocent and cute, to think you did something so daring.

Groaning as he cam, Miguel took a moment to compose himself. He was going to see you in proper action in the next game. Hopefully, your shots would still be up to par even without your little trick.

----------

You were doing good. You had kept your focus and still aimed perfect at each of the enemy team. Although, it did feel a little weird without having a laugh about your fun little gimmick. It just wasn't as fun without you giving the others a good laugh too.

Firing against another enemy, you stopped to reload. You felt a little frustrated. Right as you reloaded, you heard someone yell to show them your tits. Gripping the gun, you let out another sigh before hearing a gun go off.

"I'm confused. Do you, or do you not like to show the enemies your boobs?" Miguel questioned as he appeared beside you. You leaned against the wall, sighing softly,

"It's a long story of self worth and shit that I rather not get into. I left the military for a reason, and I personally think it's fun to throw people off guard, but then they start demanding it...I just, don't like it." You admitted. Miguel glanced at you,

"You're a good shot even without your trick."

"It's a fun stress reliever. I'm sure you would still be a good shot if you had something similar done."

"As if." Miguel replied coldly before shooting another enemy. You glanced at him with a devilish smirk,

"Is the famous ghost afraid of losing his kill streak?"

"Hn," Miguel grunted, not wanting to give you the satisfaction, but hell, he also wanted to prove you wrong, "Don't think they'll care about my chest." He teased.

You laughed and scooted over to him, "Not that kind of distraction." You cooed and saw his hard on through his pants, "Maybe I can help you do both?"

"Both?" He grumbled and hissed as you sat in front of his dick, "(Y/N), now is not the time."

"I read your file, Ghost," You hummed, undoing his pants, "Always perfect with everything you do, but such a hardass. When was the last time you relaxed?" You asked, glancing at his large dick that sprung out.

"Tch, now is NOT the time, (Y/N)" Miguel hissed, feeling himself lose concentration. You lifted your shirt, wrapping his dick between your breasts,

"I think it is the time," You hummed, holding your breasts as you started to massage his dick with them, "When was the last time you got to relax?"

"Fuck, I'm going to miss my shot."

"I thought something like this wouldn't affect your score?" You teased, leaning forward to lick his tip.

"(Y/N), you really...hn...really need to stop," Miguel groaned lowly, enjoying the feeling of his dick wrapping between your breasts.

"And leave you this hard?" You teased, gently sucking against his tip as your breasts did the rest.

"Fuck,"

Miguel cussed lowly as he fired his gun, shaking slightly from the pleasure you were giving him. Daring indeed. You had been single your whole life, so to do something like this, was surprising, but fuck, Miguel wasn't going to complain anymore.

Moving away from the window to reload, Miguel was panting and moaning as you kept sucking and pumping his dick with your breasts. How soft they were. Miguel felt the urge to pin you down and give you a reason to stop.

-------

You glanced up at Miguel, watching him melt under your touch. Honestly, you weren't planning on being this slutty, but you had to take the risk. You heard all about Miguel during your time in the military. You've seen his face and you knew that you wanted him.

But he was so difficult to approach, all the more reason why you came here. You wanted to be risky. You wanted him to notice you, and now here you were. His dick between your breasts and in your mouth.

Feeling his cock twitch in your mouth, you quicken your pace. Your panties were getting damp, eager to have this cock inside your cunt. Sucking against him more, you whimpered as Miguel started to grab your hair and move his hips along with you.

"Fuck, I'm c-close." He groaned.

You winced, tasting his precum first. His cock twitched against in your mouth, fucking himself deeper down your throat. You moaned from the feeling, and shook as you felt his hot, sticky cum flood your mouth. With a swallow, you coughed as Miguel pulled out of your mouth.

"How's...your shot?" You asked with a low chuckle. Miguel panted and picked you up, placing you towards the window,

"Why don't we test your shot now?" He asked, lowering your pants in the process, "Or can you only show off your breasts?"

"Mhm~"

You rested against your sniper gun, ass pressed up against Miguel. You shivered as you felt Miguel's dick rub between your thighs. His cock just rubbing against your damp panties, causing you to get even wetter. Oh how you wanted him inside you.

You went to fire against an enemy, moaning loudly as Miguel held your hips. The friction he was giving you was starting to burn. You moved your hips in response, nearly begging for him to stuff you full. Miguel must have noticed as slid his dick inside your panties, directly rubbing his dick against your folds.

"So wet. Don't miss your shot," Miguel groaned, trying his best to not shove his cock deep inside you.

No, that was for another time. There was only a few minutes left of the match. If Miguel was going to fuck you dumb, then it was going to be in the comfort of his own office or bed.

"Hah~ Ah~ M-Miguel," You moaned, attempting to fire your gun again, "R-Right there~ Ah~" You cried out.

Your body twitched as his cock feverishly rubbed against your wet walls and clit. Your vision began to blur as you felt yourself cum when he kept hitting your clit. Your panties were such a mess and you knew it.

"See me in my office after this match," Miguel whispered in your ear as he grunted lowly, "We need to go over your score for this round."

"Y-Yes, sir," You moaned as you felt him cum all over your panties.

You were a panting mess as you felt Miguel move away from you. He quickly fixed his pants as you did yours. You shivered at the feeling of his cum all over your pussy and not within. Glancing at his mask, you huffed your cheeks out and removed it.

"(Y/N)-"

You pecked his lips before fixing his mask again. A small smile against your lips as you trailed your hand down his chest,

"See you in your office."

"Match over. Top Score (Y/N)." The game spoke. You chuckled lowly and glanced at Miguel,

"I think I deserve an award for winning, again."

"Once I'm done with you, your winning streak will end next round."

You shivered in delight at his low, rumbling tone. Your pussy clenched at the thought, sitting right on your mess of underwear,

"I'm looking forward to it."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry if it's nothing like COD. Maybe one day I'll try and play the games, but I hoped you like the story none the less!!!

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel spiderman #atsv miguel #across the spiderverse #miguel x y/n #miguel x reader #miguel x you

[misspickman]

hii <3 8! 16! 17! for choose violence

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

god okay there are soo many u know there are so many. bc people refuse to read. tim isnt chill with killing he Does have a moral compass he is not just blindly following bruce, bruce doesnt hate kon, clark isnt a bad negligent parent to kon, on account of not being his parent (yea people can hc what they enjoy be free etc but in canon they simply dont have that relationship,, im sorry). cass is not the family therapist and she is not that fucking nice, cassie is not like the only braincell of yj she is not super serious and only there to wrangle her boys. come on. tim is also not the smart nerd robin but now i could just go on forever if we go there. kon is not a jock or stupid he is not a himbo!! aa red robin suit being ugly/bad youre all wrong but its fine

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

the whole fanon 'metas in gotham' bit,, the awful shovel talks in soo many t/mkon fics (specifically the fucking threatening with kryptonite hey what. also kon is not afraid of bruce. read superboy #85), jason and tims fully made up by fanon dynamic, fanon tim in general + the whole bad drakes bit, making tim like. a killjoy who is mean to his friends for no reason. in general the concept of batf/m as this happy family unit when they are so much more fun as a complex family/coworkers. the messy drama in 90s/2000s bat comics was so compelling to me this is just bland?

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

answered here but also, more helena in general. more kon and the ravers!! more tim and babs and helena bc their dynamics were soo fun. more cissie/anita, cassie figuring out shes a lesbian. cassie/rose.........

#thanks<3 #ask #i was gonna apologize for being a bitch for all of these but these are violence asks. that is the point

[veganfairie]

[tw: some mentions of past eating that could be considered disordered]

hey! another finnish vegan here!

I guess I'll just write some of my thoughts here.

- I hate it when I follow someone here and then they post pictures of "meat", or as I like to call it, mutilated corpses, especially when that particular person makes great art or writes amazing stuff or something, and I have to unfollow them

- I love how much better my relationship to food has become since I became vegan! Previously I had to force myself to eat, and when I did, I saw all those animals that had to suffer in my mind's eye. Then I realise I hurt others more than myself by this, and stopped eating animal products. Now I make food at home for my parents and myself all the time, sometimes several times a week! I actually enjoy food! I didn't understand why people said food could be good and enjoyable back then, but now I go to school lunches and eat my tofu or soijarouhe (don't know what that is in English, possibly soy groats) and actually think "this is so good" and then I eat my bread with hummus on it and for a few moments I think life might be decent afterall, you know. I even toyed with the thought of becoming a chef to a vegan restaurant when I get a bit older, but that wouldn't really be for me. I want to be a veterinarian, so maybe, just maybe, I could try to make the life of animals better. Or even ease some of the pain of those who are coming to their ends.

- Personally I don't understand when people say they couldn't be vegan because of cheese, or seem to think I made some kind of sacrifice when I gave cheese made from dairy up. I didn't. I just saw all of those pictures taken from the farms that "produce" milk by exploiting and hurting poor animals, and I felt no regret, ever. I don't really use vegan cheese much, pretty much only as a topping for pizza on special occasions. (Obviously I'm applauding for all the vegans who did struggle to get over (dairy) cheese. You did the right choice and I'm so proud of you!)

Thank you for being here, you know. Really.

Also, a question for you: Do you think it is right to call an animal "se" (it) in Finnish when talking? As background information for those who are not Finnish, in casual talk people often call other people "se" too.

I don't think it'd be wrong to do that, but I avoid it myself. All animals are "hän" (a third person pronoun, gender neutral) for me. Maybe they wouldn't be, if everyone or at least the majority of people understood their inherent worth as living, feeling beings.

Thank you once again!

hehe moi!! ihana tavata sinut myös!! 💗💗💗

🥩 - ah yes i also feel bad seeing mutuals post meat pictures. :( any time i see pictures of animal products or hear people talking about preparing them i remember all the ways animals are currently hurting. im sorry to hear you experience this so much. its good to hear you try your best to keep your space happy

🍎 - omg i love love love that you feel better about eating now !! 🥰 disordered eating is... hell. i have heard this is the case for SO many vegans. so nice that something we can do to help other animals also helps us and the enviroment. ding ding ding, you just won peace at heart. ❤ i got the job title of a cook before i went vegan and working at kitchens is fun besides the fact you are forced to taste meat dishes at work though unless it's a vegan place and i HATE it. 😢 becoming a vet is amazing omg, that takes some serious skill! a vet and a vegan fit together perfectly. you will be perfect for the job because you truly care 🐷🐮🐱 i wish i could make something soijarouhe based for you ahaha

🧀 - i agree, after i connected the dots and went vegan all of the arguments i made as a meat eater sound SO weird to me. i like how cheese tastes very much but because of the animal suffering involved i never really missed it again after going vegan. "taste or life?" is the best way to put it! but indeed vegans who struggled to give up cheese or really miss it are absolutely legends! :D

🐷 - okay so my situation with finnish pronouns is pretty weird 😅 basically, i have always used "se" for everyone. my family and friends all use "se" for everyone. it just comes so naturally ehehe... unless i'm talking about someone in front of them, then i'm more... alert? animal rights is such an important subject to me so when i talk about it i'm very alert as well. i do often use the "hän" pronoun for the reason you mentioned. sp it can help others consider how other animals are important individuals too 😁

💗 - thank you too lovely anon. for your interesting ask and the kindest words 💌

#we just got a letter

[ghelgheli]

🔥 - furries

oh boy. woof. i was initially overwhelmed trying to pick out an unpopular opinion but i realized. why settle for one!

yeah, furry stuff isn't all about sex for everyone. it would be fine if it was though. it is fine if someone's interest in furry stuff is purely a sex thing. in an AU where being a furry was all about sex, it would still be fine. trying to wash over the horniness of many (not all) furries in an attempt to defend is a waste of time. someone's investment in furry media can be for the exclusive purpose of jerking off and that's all good ✨

there are no requirements to being a furry. it's not an ontological state with necessary and sufficient conditions. you don't need a suit. you don't need a sona. you don't need an account on xyz website. IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS. nobody gatekeeping furryness in either direction is worth your time. you can appreciate one piece of furry media every three weeks and call yourself a furry. you can follow three hundred furry artists and say you're not. it's not serious.

there is no essential political economy nor demographic composition to "furry culture" of any sort. there are commie furries. there are lib furries. there are nazi furries. there are lots of gay and trans furries and there are lots of cishet furries. furries are, modulo the sort of selection that occurs in filtering who has access to online and offline spaces where furry stuff might happen, basically just a subset of the general population. which is to say that being a furry is value-neutral, and is neither inherently "revolutionary" nor inherently reprehensible nor inherently gay nor inherently straight. there is no one furry culture, and subcultures and communities can differ just as much as with non-furries.

furry aesthetics are a site of ambiguity. this is hardly unique to the furrosphere, but people can and do derive pleasure from furry content that may not in design align with their orientations and that's fine. as a very masc trans lesbian, i enjoy a lot of mlm furry art because i can project my own experiences of gender on to what is depicted (caveat: there is also a lot of nasty transphobia and transmisogyny in furry subcultures trying to misread trans characters, just as in many other subculture)

a lot of furry wlw art by wlws is boring. sorry about it. it's beholden to the same trappings of desirability as any other art and snzzzz. there are many many gems of course (gammelgaedda lookin at u) but the median looks like it was arranged in a sterile room with artificial lighting and forced poses. tbc i am in awe of the technical skill that goes into a lot of this art. it also just makes me feel absolutely nothing at all otherwise. and before someone grabs me by my goat horns: im not saying this is a problem unique to wlw art, nor that wlw stuff is especially vulnerable to it. but I'm a lesbian and that's what I seek out most, so it's what I'm commenting on

you can have as many sonas as you want. some people seem strangely committed to one person one sona. you can be as polymorphic as you like. you don't have to choose.

people joke about furry artists making bank but: a lot of them undercharge. i paid something like thrice the listed price for my icon bc it was worth at least that much.

there's this one furry art style, with airbrushed looking gradients and broad rounded curves and painfully neat lines. sharp colour boundaries and hypersaturation. idk if I'm conveying this successfully but it's everywhere. and i cannot stand it it's so unpleasant to look at sorry 😭

#ask answer #fur #ok this is getting long im done. for now.

[miekasa]

Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right. 

#anonymous #when.... when.... WHEN IS IT MY TURN #aot x reader #jean x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot imagines #no because he's the love of my whole life #jean fluff #jean smut #eren x reader

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n and ranboo

this is an extra part to the great adventures series

summary: part two to the angst imagine (the not so great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo) it’s a happier ‘ending’ please read what is written in bold

this is an “alternative ending” around 15 years into the future this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out, i feel the need to confirm this now love between y/n and ranboo in this imagine is completely platonic

it had been about a month since you last streamed whereas ranboo continued to stream a few days after the fallout as he wanted to make sure you were going to be okay. even though ranboo knew this huge fallout would eventually happen, it still hurt him, especially since he knew there was no way to prevent it, the four of you in the same house mixed with the stress of being some of the most-watched content creators made living rather difficult. it was like walking on eggshells as you didn’t want to interrupt someone's stream, then there was the additional stress of obsessive fans finding out where the four of you lived, you still remember that day very vividly. you were sat in between tubbo and ranboo watching the office whilst Tommy was in an interview when you received a message from your mod.

Chris: hey y/n I received this message earlier I don’t want to scare you, but maybe get the locks changed. someone sent a message claiming this is your address *image of message from ‘fan’*

it didn’t take long for tubbo and ranboo to receive a message from their mods saying the same thing

“holy shit...”

“chances are Tommy has the message too. we shall go check around the house when Tommy is done with the interview.”

luckily no one ever showed up to the house, but the fact some people were so obsessed to the point they found your address was enough to put everyone in the house on edge. and now it was just you and ranboo in the house. you didn’t feel safe as even though ranboo promised to not let anything happen, you didn’t wanna risk it.

“we should move. there’s no point in having such a big house for two people, what are we going to use the extra space for heh? hide and seek with people who have our address. no thank you. I say we move leave this mess behind and start completely over, hell I’d feel safer in the us and that’s saying something”

ranboo agreed the house didn’t have the happiest memories attached to it anymore, it hurt walking past the hallway as it would bring back the memory of him crying into the crook of y/ns neck whilst tubbo left the house.

“let’s do it, I’ll do an early stream then we can look for houses. go take a shower. I’ll stay close to the door so you’re safe, then you can stay in my room whilst I stream, you can join me if you would like.”

“you’re being very protective all of a sudden...let me guess you got the message from our mods announcing the obsessive fans are at it again?”

“go take a shower.”

“no.”

ranboo ended up picking you up, carried you to the bathroom and turned the shower on before putting you on your feet.

“quick shower I’ll see you later.”

and with that he left the room shutting the door behind him, 30 minutes later you got changed and followed ranboo to his room ready to join him whilst he streams

“hey boo, can I join you? I kinda wanna get into streaming again.”

“I'm so glad you asked, I was going to do a face cam stream, if that’s okay?”

“of course.”

you grabbed his mask and glasses whilst he locked the door so you were both safe. “here you go.”

“thank you.”

the pair of you started the stream and it was honestly going well, you were having so much fun you forgot about all the negative things currently going on, you began to understand why ranboo continued streaming as for those 2-4 hours of streaming it felt as though everything was back to normal. 3 hours later the two of you ended stream and Twitter went crazy. tweets ranged from fans talking about how ranboo was streaming with you, how Tommy was in chat, and how tubbo was modding as people who mentioned anything about their address being leaked were banned by tubbo. the one thing that caught ranboos eye was fan art and a picture of you both from the stream captioned ‘they’re platonic soulmates your honour’ ranboo went as far to like, retweet and comment on it.

ranaltboo: glad you liked the stream it was great having y/n back, think I might make them play tattletail next stream

definitelynoty/n: isn’t that the Furby game that terrified you in 2021? bring it on boo!

Twitter went crazy over this interaction, you had finally come back to social media after months of being inactive, and it looked like you were here to stay. a month later you and ranboo moved out of the house and sold it to your aunt and her wife and their three adopted children, you explained the situation and even changed the locks for them all before they moved in.

“Please do tell us if anyone shows up who shouldn’t be. we changed the locks as you were aware- oh hello little one.”

you noticed one of their children decided to cling onto your leg

“I like your hair it’s colourful!”

“Indeed it is.”

“WOAH A GIANT!”

the little girl let go of your leg and ran to ranboo asking to be picked up, unsure of what to do he looked towards you. however, you were too busy laughing about the fact he was compared to a giant.

“I'm so sorry uh if you want to pick her up you can, you don’t have to.”

“pick me up, tall man... I want to be taller!”

ranboo ended up standing next to you with an arm around your waist whilst the child sat on his shoulders happily playing with his hair.

“ranboo do not drop that child.”

“I didn't- I didn't plan on it y/n.”

eventually, it was time to leave and the child reluctantly let go of ranboo.

“bye-bye!! hope to see you soon!”

soon enough you were at a smaller house, far away from the old house, leaving behind the negative feelings. it could only get better, a week later the pair of you had settled into the new house, it finally felt like home. you and ranboo were now streaming full time again, safe to say the two of you were thriving and closer than ever.

“so I’m thinking if I hit the sub-goal today I’ll let chat pick what colour I dye my hair.”

“make it higher, and I’ll let you cut my hair.”

“Are you being serious? oh my god!”

a few minutes later you took to Twitter to announce you were going live.

y/n: kidnapping children in the sims with ranboo psst check the subgoal.

within 20 minutes you had hit the sub-goal, chat ended up picking another random neon colour for your hair.

“right hair dye and the cutting stream will be this weekend, now let’s go back to kidnapping.”

tubbo, tommy, and jack felt awful for what happened and went back to the house where you used to live, hoping to see you there so they could apologise, tubbo knocked on the door only to be met by a young child.

“my sister watches you on twitch!”

“oh that’s lovely.. are y/n and ranboo here?”

an older woman came to the door.

“oh no, I’m sorry dear they both moved out, but they left this box and said to give it to you if you returned.”

“do you know where they moved to?”

“I'm sorry dear, I'm not allowed to tell you that information for safety reasons.”

“I understand, thanks anyway.”

they ended up going back to jacks where the three of them had been staying.

“We should open the box.”

tubbo opened the box and emptied the items onto the floor, inside was the rocks y/n handed tubbo from every trip, photos of the group, a necklace y/n had gifted to Tommy a day before the argument, and a hat y/n had taken from jack during a trip to a zoo.

“what the fuck!”

“holy shit!”

“they really kept all these in hopes we would come back?”

“and now we’re too late.”

it was now the weekend you and ranboo were ready to stream, you stood leaning on ranboo who was significantly smaller than you as you lowered the chair he sat on.

“starting stream...now.”

after the starting soon intro played, you explained what was happening to any new viewers or people who didn’t watch the stream.

“so I’m about to become Edward Scissorhands...I love that film can we watch it later?”

“yeah mhm sure!”

you didn’t know this but your ex best friends were watching and ever so often would show up in the chat.

“so boo, what are we doing with your hair today?”

“just a trim please darling?”

“This is y/ns hairdressers you get what I’m capable of!”

you ended up doing a pretty good job of cutting ranboos hair, even he was impressed.

“I didn’t doubt you for a minute!”

“mhm sure thing please don’t mess up my hair tall one!”

soon enough you had the dye on. 45 minutes later you left to wash it off, leaving ranboo to entertain stream,

“chat I think I missed some of their hair it’s okay, I own scissors, I’ll just cut it.. speaking of they did a great job, didn't they? I honestly expected them to mess up.”

a few minutes later you joined ranboo again and spent the next few hours talking with chat. tubbo, tommy, and jack stayed the entire time. they loved the fact you and ranboo were able to stay close after what happened, Tommy noticed you were still wearing the necklace he got you many years ago and spammed them chat with him tubbo and jack

Tommy: THEYRE WEARING THE NECKLACE!!

jack: so what? they clearly don’t wanna talk to us.

tubbo: shut up listen to them.

“chat why are we spamming platonic soulmates?”

“they’ve been saying it all over Twitter, look on trending y/n.”

you started to blush slightly at all the amazing artwork soon enough the stream came to an end, after saying goodbye the pair of you sat together going through fan art. unfortunately the one that caught your eye was this one twitter post where the artist had created a drawing of a piece of paper with you, ranboo, tommy, tubbo, and jack, however the paper was ripped separating you and ranboo from the others, captioned ‘it was never meant to be’ this clearly upset ranboo as he took off his mask and glasses placing them on the desk before going straight to his bed.

“boo…are you okay?”

“Are you tired of me? are you going to leave next?”

“what? no of course not! I could never get tired of you, why do you ask?”

“everyone else has left..i thought they cared about us, i knew it would happen eventually and i couldn’t stop it, i’m sorry, y/n, please don’t hate me.”

you sat on the edge of the bed looking down at the floor,

“come here.”

you watched him roll over to face you.

“you know there’s no one else who I'd rather spend the rest of my life with, right…if i hated you i wouldn’t have moved house with you. it’s not your job to fix everything and make everything better, you’re a streamer for christ sake not a therapist.”

“i guess so.. can we watch that thing you were on about for ages.”

“edward scissorhands? “

“mhm!”

you could tell he wanted to be distracted, so you agreed and put the film on, towards the end you began to get upset due to how overwhelming everything was.

“Why are you crying?”

“poor Edward.”

“come here.”

ranboo pulled you into a hug you laid there crying into his chest, he knew that wasn’t the reason you were crying, but he wasn’t about to make you tell him, luckily it didn’t take long for you to stop crying as ranboo quickly distracted you.

“ranboo..”

“yeah y/n?”

“I feel bad i didnt realise how much pressure was on you whilst everyone was arguing.”

“Hey, it’s okay, is that what’s upsetting you?”

“mhm.”

“don’t blame yourself, i’d do it all over again to keep you safe and happy..then again i didn’t do a good job on keeping you happy.”

“you did..you were always there for me even when i gave up on social media, you shared your room with me after i started receiving creepy messages from that obsessed fan, hell you even went on adventures with me even though it was clear you hadn’t been sleeping, just so we could spend time together and forget about what was happening. you mean a lot to me boo.”

“i love you.”

“i love you too bud, I’m tired.”

“go to sleep, it’s been a long day.”

“okay.”

“you just staying there?”

“yes.”

“oh, oh okay, goodnight.”

about a year later the two of you were still thriving, ranboo got you a promise ring a few months earlier.

“heh what’s this for?”

“as your best friend i promise to stay by your side and keep you safe and make sure that you’re happy, in other words you're stuck with me till the end of time.”

“boo…i really don’t know what to say.. thank you so much!”

“you don’t have to say anything!”

you ended up going out to buy him a promise ring when he started the stream and decided to take your cousins with you now that they were a little older. ranboo was doing a facecam stream when the door slammed open revealing you covering your three younger cousins ranboo not realising you were hiding them from the camera, instinctively stood up covering the camera

“ranboooooo!”

“yes you three and y/n ,what do you need?”

“we would like to watch a film!”

“Okay, i’ll go put one on, y/n will you entertain chat?”

“sure thing boo boy!”

once they left you sat fixing your hair forgetting you were wearing the ring chat noticed this and went crazy, so did Tommys group with tubbo and jack.

tubbo: that’s a ring, right??

jack: yeah looks like it.

Tommy: holy shit I always thought if anyone was gonna get married it would be tubbo and y/n, they were inseparable.

tubbo: hilarious.

jack: it could just be a ring, no one mentioned marriage tommy!

Tommy: we should congratulate them.

jack: at least let them explain fucking hell.

soon enough ranboo came back into the room,

“sorry one of them found it hilarious to steal my glasses...”

“they’re little shits i swear to god but i love them.”

you both noticed chat going crazy and both looked at each other before laughing.

“i'm sorry, i can’t take you serious in the mask and glasses!”

“i can’t take you serious with neon hair, but here we are!”

“rude!”

you and ranboo quickly put an end to the rumours,

“no we’re not engaged or married, it is a promise ring. no they’re not our children, they’re y/ns cousins they just spend a lot of time here..chat stop calling me and y/n parents and comparing us to phil that’s not..that’s not how it works okay!”

“parent arc!”

“y/n, don’t encourage them!”

“it’s a little bit funny!”

soon enough the bit came to an end and eventually ranboo ended the stream.

“hey boo look what i got you”

you handed him a little black box, inside was a ring similar to yours

“i promise to always stick around and be here for you”

“oh my god”

ranboo tackled you into a hug thanking you several times for his rings. you and ranboo were living your best life meanwhile jack, tommy, and tubbo were stuck dealing with the guilt of what happened, but they’re weren’t giving up that easy. they wanted you both back, that’s when you received a notification, tommyinnit has sent you a message request: hey y/n can we talk..please?

taglist

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

#mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt writing #mcyt imagines #mcyt imagine #mcyt reader insert #mcyt fluff #ranboo x you #ranboo x reader #ranboo imagine #ranboo x y/n #ranboo fluff #tubbo x y/n #tubbo x reader #tubbo x you #tubbo imagine #tubbo angst #tommyinnit angst #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit x y/n #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit imagine #jack manifold imagine #jack manifold x y/n #jack manifold x you #jack manifold x reader #jack manifold angst #dsmp reader insert #dsmp imagine #dsmp fanfic

[blanknamed]

happy happy new years to everyone :))

just wanna say i really had an amazing year despite the rough start and end of 2021. i hope everyone stays safe and healthy!

here's some moots i'm extremely grateful for and i hope the sentiments similar under the cut

BACK TO NAVI

my discount sbi moots aka @redhoodsoot @thatplanetmarz @genesisrose74 and @sharkie-pog !

i like to see them as my very first friends and my tumblr family :)) i'm so glad to have met them and have them deal with my nonsense without any sign of (serious) judgement.

they all also write some pretty banger fics if i'll be honest and are the main reasons why i decided to come out of my shell and write. i also love the little banter i have going on for each and every one of them, albeit most of it being siblings-esque banter.

they really helped me grow in terms of confidence in my writing and confidence in myself outside of the computer! they helped me learn that caring for yourself is not at all selfish and people are kind (and not weird old men) no matter where you are or what your life is like, you just need to let yourself learn who's good enough for you :))

next up is @hufflepuff-writings

kait was probably the next person i decided to reach out to on a risk of not knowing if she'll ever respond. they're a ray of sunshine i love talking to when i manage to catch her on the same time i'm on tumblr as well. i was so honored to be tagged into her event and just being in the same prescence as them in general so i hope to experience more in the near future!

the one and only @mcytmushroom

met shroom by chance and honest to god we practically message each other on a day to day basis now, usually on discords, most times on snap. i was really happy to make them comfortable enough to let us get as close to each other as possible and i really, really hope we stay that way because, honestly, i don't know what my life is like with this snarky little shit.

and then here we have @inniterhq

edgy teenager. that's all i can say. also, i remember seeing sapnap's feet on my feed because of art's little... anons. very horrifying, but a core memory i can't shake when i go on tumblr so this is a thank you but also fuck you /j for putting that there. i hope getting hammy cheek'd was good payback for the unsolicited feet pics.

along with edgy teenger is other edgy teenager @mitzimania

just wanna point out to everyone that i turn 21 next month and not some anceint age mitzi tells y'all. like art, i saw mitzi through my search feed and thought vir writing was really good. ngl, i was lowkey shy to even say anything to mitzi for a while before hiking up my big boy pants and actually talk to vir before i realized mitzi is a little edgy shit lord like art 😐

astrology bestie @earthtooz

the minute crystals were mentioned i just knew earth and i would be tight. also said "that makes sm sense" when i said i mainly had aquarius in my placements and that kinda made me laugh. i hope she enjoys my crystal updates even though they're lowkey annoying WUXHWH if you want your charts read at some point, please go to earth if she has time. also one of her fics made me cry so

and to my favorite steamer @cherios

like most of my mutuals, i stumbled into cher's streaming by chance and thought it was funny to make stupid jokes in chat. i haven't gone into streams in a while due to some family related blockades (i'm sorry cher 😐💔💔), BUT cher has some awesome stories and an even more awesome personality so please follow and enjoy the posts she makes!

also, my favorite streamer @mikeyinnit

very patient. lovely moot. please love mikey and his writing i think they deserve sm attention. they are also very fun to watch in terms of streaming and is working very hard with making connections! love love love mikey please love them as much as me :))

next up is @strawberrymilkgeorge

finally @sunniewrites

fizzy usually gets bullied by me and shroom ngl (esp with that one sven comment WUDHEH im sorry if that's too much LMAO) BUT fizzy is amazing, funny, and overall the sweetest person i met so i love having met them and i hope to talk to her more since everyone lowkey disappeared near the middle of the school year starting, including me. i promise i'll be more active on your server, fizzy ;-; i'm just a little awkward WHSHAH

@basilly , another edgy teenager

one if the contributors on the "arielle is old" joke but i couldn't have it any other way. just like mitzi, i was scared to approach basil until i realized that all of them remind me of littile chihuahuas harassing me 😌 /j we haven't talked much lately but i hope once basil sees this they have an amazing year!

a ray of sunshine, pun intended. hurt sunnie's feelings and you're seeing the end of my bully stick (a promise, not a threat). very happy of have met them and gracing my feed constantly!

some more people i'd like to thank: my anons! don't think i haven't forgotten you guys i miss y'all 😩 playlist anon is the most active (and is also a beta reader for one of my fics so very grateful for my ading for that) BUT i love every single one of y'all for asking to be my anon and i hope to hear from you guys more :))

i'm also very grateful for my followers! we're at around 700+ right now and that's honestly amazing! i'm so happy my writing makes you guys happy enough to follow me and reblog my post you guys are the best ♥️♥️

hope you guys have a happy new year and hopefully we interact more! i'm sorry if i dropped off the face of the earth sometimes; college is a stressful part of my life but is something i find necessary to help me meet my end goals in life. love y'all!

12/31/2021 [10:01PM EST]

BACK TO NAVI

#happy new year #2022 ♥️

[atlabeth]

transferred part eight - atla smau

TRANSFERRED - zuko x fem!reader

masterlist | part 7 | part 9 

summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know he’s falling for you as well. 

wc: 4.5k 

warning(s): alcohol, gross guys, cursing, ppl getting drunk, suggestive themes, some pining, y/n being dumb of ass

a/n: i’ve been in a weird place with my writing so that’s why this took longer, it was a combination of writers block and lacking confidence in my writing so sdkjfhs. also for the ending? im sorry. but also im not 

taglist:  @ourbestfriend-mishacollins @lil-lex1 @xxshad0wxb1rdxx @zuko-is-the-sun @akiris @irohs-teapot @thatarthistorynerd @charlenasaxen @minninugget @marvel-ousnesss @count-thotticus @what-ye-egg @furblrwurblr @thesstuff @mariachiii @ietss @dizzy-miss-lizzieeeeee @xbarrjallenx @tommy-braccoli @dreamsluvrr @floofybread​ 

~~~~~~

“SOKKA, WE HAVE TO LEAVE IN FIFTEEN MINUTES! NOW OPEN THE DOOR OR I WILL BREAK IT DOWN MYSELF!” You banged your fist against the door for what felt like the hundredth time, and it seemed to finally work. The door swung open and your brother came out holding his hands up placatingly. You had to give it to him, his hair looked good, but with all the time he had spent styling it in there you would be disappointed if it wasn’t a masterpiece.

“Calm down, Y/N! You just don’t appreciate the art that goes into this,” he said with an exaggerated gesture to himself. You rolled your eyes and pushed past him, closing and locking the door behind him to make sure that no one would disturb you while you got ready. One downside to rooming with all boys was that no one knew how to knock, so you had to be extremely vigilant in making sure that no one walked in on you. 

You had spent a majority of your time picking out the perfect outfit for tonight after you and Zuko had gotten home. It was harder than you thought it was going to be to find something that said, ‘I’m available but not too available, I’m approachable but not too approachable, and also this is hot’, but after a lot of rifling through your closet you decided on a black backless top and navy blue jeans, something that looked good but did not warrant all the time spent searching. 

It didn’t take nearly as long to do your hair and makeup, maybe because you were rapidly running out of time, but you decided to just go with a simple look that brought out your eye color and what you usually did for parties for your hair. 

You nearly stabbed yourself in the eye with your mascara wand when you heard banging on the door. “Y/N, WE HAVE TO LEAVE IN FIVE MINUTES! NOW OPEN THE DOOR OR I WILL BREAK IT DOWN MYSELF!”

“Sokka, if you’re gonna yell at me then BE ORIGINAL!” You called back as you finished your eyes up. You shoved all the products back into your makeup bag then checked your hair one last time before leaving the bathroom. 

“How do I look, boys?” You walked into the kitchen and grabbed your purse off the island, testing the waters with the heels you had decided to wear last minute. They were only a couple inches but it had been a while since you wore them, and you would prefer if you didn’t fall over in front of every hot person at this party. 

Sokka followed you into the kitchen after nearly getting hit by the door, his tone somehow exasperated already. “You look fine. Now can we please get going? It’s one thing to be fashionably late, but we can’t be LATE late.”

“I love the heels, Y/N,” Aang gave you a grin and two thumbs up which you returned. 

When you looked to Zuko for his reaction, you were surprised to see a faint blush dusting his cheeks and his eyes wider than usual as they lingered on you. “You look- um- wow. You look great. Are you sure you won’t get cold?”

You felt your face heat up and you smiled, subconsciously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I guess I can just borrow your jacket if I need to,” you teased with a wink as you walked past him. “Come on Sokka, I’ll race you for shotgun!” 

“Oh, that is so cheap—!” Before you knew it, the two of you were sprinting out the door, pushing each other 

“Pick your jaw up off the floor, Zuko,” Aang said jokingly once you were out of the apartment, the distant yells of you and your brother bouncing through the hallway. “Y’know, you could probably make a move tonight. I think she’s into you!” 

“I- that’s not- I wasn’t- we’re just friends!” Zuko stammered as he picked up his keys from the table, finally snapping out of his stupor.

“Whatever you say, Sifu Hotman!” 

“I don’t— it’s not like that!”

~~~~~~

It was a quick ride over to the apartment with Sokka’s instructions — who had somehow beat you to the car winning shotgun (you blamed your heels) — and soon you were in front of Apartment B29 knocking on the door. A man about your age opened the door, and you blinked in surprise as you were hit by the wave of noise coming from inside. Sokka pushed past you and did a very complicated handshake with the guy before clapping him on the back. 

“Kento, how are ya doin’? I brought my roommates with me, is that cool?”

“Of course, man! The more the merrier!” Sokka grinned and high-fived him and the four of you moved inside, all of your senses assaulted by a barrage of.. everything. 

It was a surprisingly active party in a surprisingly big place, but you supposed that had to be the case for someone to throw something this size. Your eyes immediately started drifting around, searching for your friends that had arrived before you, and you started tugging on Aang’s shirt and pointing. “There they are! Come on!” 

You practically dragged the poor boy behind you as your brother and Zuko followed behind in a less forced way, and you barreled into Suki, each knocking the air out of each other with the strength of your hugs.

“You’re here!” Suki looked at your outfit and whistled. “And you look fantastic? This is the Y/N that I have been missing!”

You laughed and pulled away from her, giving one armed hugs to both Katara and Toph before settling in while everyone else greeted each other. “Gotta make a good first impression on BSSU guys, right?” 

“Oh, I think you already have,” Katara smirked, her eyes flicking over to Zuko for a second before training back on you. 

You furrowed your brows, about to question Katara further, when Suki gasped and grabbed your hand. 

“Oh, speaking of guys! There are a couple guys in my psych class tht are here that I think you’d really be into. Come on!” Suki started pulling you away and you looked back at the rest of the group with an amused expression before giving in and running away with her. 

Katara groaned, looking at Toph with desperation that she couldn’t see. “That girl is hopeless. How am I supposed to do my matchmaking if she’s trying to set her up with random guys?” 

“Guess you’ll either have to try harder or let it go, sugar queen.” 

“You know I’m not letting this go.” Katara could’ve kept going on about it, but thankfully for Toph, Aang slung his arm around Katara’s shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. 

“Come on, Katara! Let’s start this party off right.” The two of them grinned at each other and went off to the midst of everyone, no doubt to dance together. 

“Zuko? You there?” Toph questioned.

“Yeah?” Parties were very much not Zuko’s thing, so he didn’t exactly know what he was going to do now that everyone had split up.

Toph elbowed him and started walking through the crowd, Zuko following hurriedly after her as he rubbed his shoulder. “What was that for?”

“It’s how I show affection.” Toph grabbed onto his hand so that she wouldn’t run into everything in her way, and continued walking. “Now come on, let’s do something! Sokka’s talking with his boys, Y/N is probably off hitting on some guys while Suki encourages her, and Katara and Aang are doing some dumb couple stuff. Which means that we have to do something.” 

Zuko chuckled and shrugged. “Sure.” Hopefully Suki wasn’t serious about setting you up. Of course, he didn’t like you like that, but you were too good for the kind of guy that you would find at this kind of party. He supposed that he was that kind of guy because he was here, but he was different, right? You wouldn’t see him in that light— 

“Ow! Why’d you do that again?” Zuko was sure he was going to have a bruise if he hung out with Toph for the rest of the night.

“Because I can tell that you’re thinking of something stupid.”

“I am not—

“Zuko, I can’t even see you and I know you’re lying.”  

He was suddenly too distracted to focus on Toph calling him out because he saw you, talking animatedly with a couple of guys and Suki by your side. They all started laughing at whatever you said, and your smile, even from that far away, made his heart flutter. But for some reason, seeing you with those boys made him feel.. annoyed.

He didn’t even realize he was clenching his fists until Toph hit him, albeit softer, on the shoulder. “Lighten up on the grip, sparky!”

“Sorry,” he said, blinking a couple of times. “Let’s keep going.”

This was going to be a long night for Zuko.

~~~~~~

You had separated from the group to get another drink, having already finished your cup in the time it took to tell a couple stories. You pursed your lips and picked a beer up from the cooler, then placed the cap on the edge of the table and slammed down on top of it with your other hand. The bottle cap fell off and you took a sip, pleased that it worked. It was a party trick you had picked up when you first moved to Kyoshi, and though using a bottle opener was loads easier, this was more fun. 

“Nice move.” You turned around, surprised when you heard a voice behind you, nearly spilling your drink in the process. It belonged to a tall, brown haired boy with some interesting eyebrows and a toothpick in his mouth. 

“Thanks.” You smiled lightly and moved to walk away, but he blocked your path. 

“What, do I not get a name?” His words had an air of cockiness to them, and he leaned against the wall next to the table. “I’m Jet.” 

“Ohhhh, you’re Jet.” You took a sip of your drink to mask your grimace and rolled your eyes, already looking around for Suki to get away to. Your sister had told you about her experiences with this guy, and though there was some irony in him hitting on you all these years later, you weren’t into it. “Yeah, no thanks.” 

You started to walk away but he wrapped his hand around your wrist and pulled you back to him, causing you to let out a small yelp. You were already kinda tipsy, so you got much closer than you would’ve liked (being in the same room with him was too close to be fair) and he smirked at you. Now this, this was definitely how you wanted your night to go. 

“Come on darling, just give me a chance. I’m not that bad.” He was attractive, you would admit that, but the way he was acting was a red flag that you weren’t going to miss again. 

“Oh, I’m sure you are.” You tried to pull your wrist out of his grip but he wasn’t budging. You glared up at him and set your jaw. “Do you really want to do this tonight? Because I’ve got time, buddy.”

“I’m just asking a pretty girl for her name, it’s not a crime. Of course, I’ll also go for your number.” He was smooth as ever, unfazed until another voice cut in.

“She said no. Now leave her alone, Jet.” 

You felt his grip loosen on your wrist and you immediately pulled away, looking over to see who had saved you from the fight that you were sure was imminent. Your eyes lit up when you saw that it was Zuko, and you backed over so that you were on his side. You noticed he ever so slightly positioned himself in front of you. 

“Ah.. You two a thing?” The confidence from before was replaced with what looked like anger with a hint of jealousy. 

“No, he’s just a guy that knows what ‘no’ means,” you shot back. Now you wanted to fight, but Zuko took your hand and shook his head. 

“He’s not worth it. Let’s go, Y/N.” He started walking away and you followed, but were unable to resist one more jab at that cocky jerk. 

“I’m not into jerks that fuck over my sister!” You yelled over your shoulder as Zuko pulled you away. The two of you emerged out of the apartment onto the empty balcony, and you inhaled the fresh air. 

“Thanks for that. I think I would’ve started a fight if I stayed there for another second.” You tipped back the rest of your beer and frowned, twirling the bottle between your fingers before setting it on the ground next to you. “God, this sucks. Why am I drinking it again?” 

“Because you’re a broke college kid that wants to get drunk at a party thrown by other broke college kids?” Zuko offered helpfully. 

You hummed in agreement and leaned your back against the railing, pointing your finger at him. “Right on the mark, mister.” 

He smiled as he leaned against the wall, conveniently ignoring the chair right next to him. You figured it was for his ‘cool guy image’, but it was once again doing it for you. “He didn’t hurt you or anything, right?” 

You snorted and shook your head, running a hand through your hair as you looked into the night. The party was still going on strong back inside, but it was nice to get away for a moment, especially with Zuko. “Nah. If he tried anything, he would be the one getting hurt.”

Zuko chuckled, pushing himself up from the wall and walking over to you. Another thing you had noticed from living with him and being his classmate — this boy could not sit still. “I believe that wholeheartedly.” 

“Does Jet have something against you?” You questioned, casting a glance at him. “Because as soon as you showed up, he looked really angry.” 

“We have some.. messy history. Some stuff that happened in high school that he can’t let go.” Zuko stared down at the ground and you nodded, taking that as a sign to not push further.

“It’s like the only guys I attract are douchebags,” you groaned, letting your head fall back to stare at the sky. “But seriously, thank you. You never know how guys like that get when you reject them.”

“Anything for you.” Zuko’s eyes widened when he realized what he said and he tried to cover it up with a cough, stammering to fix it. “B-because you’re one of my roommates! And my friend! And it’s not like I would just leave one of my friends to fend by themselves especially when they’re drunk—”

“Shhhhhh.” You waved your hand in front of his face, trying to get him to stop. “You, my good sir, talk too much.” You let out a laugh at his expression and mimicked his stance, resting your forearms against the railing and shivering a bit as a gust of wind blew by. “Just.. stand here for a little with me. Appreciate the stars,” you crooned with a flourish of your arm. 

You both stood there in comfortable silence, the sounds of the party raging behind you reduced to mere background noise as you became lost in your surroundings. It was just you, Zuko, and the sky. 

“It’s beautiful,” you mused.

“It is,” he agreed. When you glanced at him, you saw that Zuko’s eyes had never left you. Your face immediately heated up and you averted your gaze with a small smile, self-consciously brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. This time when you shivered you felt something being draped around your shoulders and your eyes widened in surprise when you saw it was Zuko giving you his jacket. You prayed to any god that would listen that he couldn’t see how flushed your cheeks were. 

“What are you doing?” 

“You did say you would borrow mine if you got cold, right?” 

You hummed thoughtfully and slipped your arms into the sleeves, already feeling warmer. Whether it was from not having your whole back exposed or wearing something of Zuko’s though, you didn’t know. “I guess I did.”

When you met his gaze again, it was like some invisible force was stopping you from looking away. All of the sounds of the party faded away, and it was like the world around you had stopped. It was just you and Zuko, and you unconsciously started leaning forward. 

You jumped and nearly screamed when you felt a buzz against your back pocket, letting out a relieved breath when you realized it was only your phone. You pulled out your phone and tried your hardest to look absorbed in it, trying to pretend like you weren’t just about to try and kiss Zuko right then. That moment was completely and wholly ruined. 

“Ugh,” you rolled your eyes as you read the text on your phone and started to walk back inside. “Apparently Aang and Toph have gotten into a debate about… moral relativism? God, I have no idea why they’re talking about that at a party, or who they’re even arguing with, but apparently it’s getting heated. Wanna come with?” 

Zuko chuckled and shook his head. “I think I’ll take a few more moments out here. Parties drain me sometimes.” In truth, he needed a while to process what just happened between the two of you, what he had done. He definitely hadn’t imagined that moment, and he knew he would be thinking of your eyes and how they sparkled in the moonlight for days to come. 

“Ah, I totally get you, man. Take all the time you need, text me if you need anything!” You winked at him and ran back inside, which Zuko reciprocated with a light smile.

~~~~~~

You spent the rest of the night having a great time — drinking more shitty beer with Sokka, dancing with Katara and Toph, singing so badly to the music with Suki that you were amazed they hadn’t kicked you out, and telling stories to anyone who would listen with Aang’s assistance (you two made a great team). The only thing you needed was some time with Zuko - besides the time you spent together out on the balcony you had hardly seen him doing anything that wasn’t hanging on the outside of the party. The not-so-hushed conversations between three drunk girls and the designated driver about it went just as well as one might think. 

“Look how sad he looks! Who comes to a party just to not party?” You caught Zuko’s eye again and waved, which he returned with a smile and a small wave of his own. 

“Zuko does. He’s all ‘look at me! I’m going to show how cool and brooding I am by not doing anything. All the chicks dig it,’” Toph mocked, dropping her voice lower to imitate Zuko. 

“Toph, that is so mean! You can’t even see him.” Suki placed her hands on each side of Toph’s face which Toph immediately slapped away. “You are so beautiful. You are a beautiful blind woman, and we need to dance.” 

“Suki, why are your hands so cold- oh my GOD—” Suki grabbed Toph’s hand and pulled her into the fray, causing you to dissolve into giggles. You grabbed Katara’s shoulder and looked back over at Zuko. 

“He looks so sad, Katara! I can’t stand it!” You stared your sister in the eyes and put your other hand on her shoulder. “I’m gonna ask him to dance. I’m going to pull that beautiful man out of the shadows of his angst and I’m going to make him dance to this trashy pop song with me and bring out his happiness.”

Katara snorted and placed her hand over yours on her shoulder, casting a glance at Zuko as well. “Are you sure? I mean, I’m pretty sure the only reason he’s here is because he has to drive you guys home.”  

“My dear sister, I’m afraid to tell you that you are wrong. No one—” you gestured to yourself. “—can be sad around this.” 

You clapped Katara on the shoulder then pushed your way through the crowd until you got to Zuko, not even giving him a chance to react before you grabbed his hand and started pulling him behind you back into the center of the party. 

“What are you doing?” He yelled, having to raise his voice to be heard over the music and everyone around the two of you. 

“I’m getting you to dance with me!” You grinned, letting go of his hand and facing him once you had gotten far enough in. He looked so out of his element that your eyes softened immediately and you put your hand on his shoulder. 

“Zuko, if you’re uncomfortable then you can tell me and you can go back to what you were doing before. But please, just give this a chance for one minute. I think you’ll have fun.” 

A beat of silence passed before he nodded, and your smile returned. “Y/N, you know I’ve danced before, right?” 

“I don’t doubt it. But you haven’t danced the Y/N way.” The song conveniently changed to an upbeat, commercial pop song, and you gasped. “And this is the perfect song to start with! Come on, just follow my lead!” 

You started to dance like no one was watching, jumping up and down, waving your arms around, and doing some truly ridiculous moves. Zuko stifled a laugh and you beckoned for him to come closer. “Get in on this, man! You promised me one minute, which means one minute of this.” 

Zuko started to inch closer but you grabbed his hand once more and pulled him in, doing all of your moves from before but this time holding onto his hand. You looked so carefree, so happy, that Zuko couldn’t not do this with you. You were right that this wasn’t his scene, but he would do a lot of things if it meant seeing you like this.

Suki ran back to Katara, pulling a disheveled Toph behind her, and she gestured with her head at you and Zuko with a questioning look. “Is Zuko.. dancing? To a trashy pop song?” 

Katara chuckled and nodded. “Yep.” 

“Oh my god, is she wearing his jacket?” 

“Yep.” 

“Zuko doing things at a party and not just brooding in the corner? I think the world’s about to end,” Toph said. 

“I think my sister just has that effect on him, somehow.” Katara sighed happily, looking back at her two friends with a twinkle in her eye. You grabbed onto Zuko’s hands and pulled him closer, swinging your hands back and forth between the two of you as the song changed to a more chill beat. “I haven’t seen him smile this much in ages.” 

You ended up dancing together for a whole lot more than one minute. 

~~~~~~

“I just- I want you guys to know how much I love you. Sokka brought us to this cool ass party, Aang is a ball of literal sunshine, my girls always got my back, and Zuko gave me his jacket because I was cold. Not that I could be cold around you, because you. Are. Hot.” Your words were slightly slurred as you and your friends walked through the parking lot. and your eyes widened as you started taking it off. “Oh shit, do you want this back? I totally forgot that I was wearing it.” 

“No- no, you can keep it! I don’t mind.” Tonight had definitely changed something between you and Zuko. Your time on the balcony together, him giving you his jacket, somehow roping him into dancing like an idiot, and all these compliments that you were just throwing around? His feelings were all over the place, but it was just the party getting to him, right? You two were friends. Nothing else. But the more you flashed that smile at him, the harder it got to convince himself that was all you two were. That it was all he wanted you two to be. 

“Alright, so let me get this straight. Toph and Y/N are coming home with me to our dorm, Zuko is driving the boys back to their apartment, and Suki is abandoning us to get it on with my brother?” Katara questioned, clicking the button on her keys a few times to unlock her car. 

“I’m not abandoning you if I told you about it before we came here!” Suki and Sokka were holding hands, constantly whispering and laughing to each other the entire way out of the apartment. “You know that every party there’s a very real possibility of us going home together.” 

“Yeah, and I try not to think about it,” she said wryly as she helped Toph into the passenger seat. “Make sure they don’t do anything stupid, Zuko?” 

“I can’t make any promises. You know how they are.” 

“Hey! We are two adults in a loving relationship and we are allowed to do whatever we want—” Sokka protested, leaning against Suki for support. 

“We don’t want to hear about that, Sokka! Just— don’t mess up my part of the room, okay? And if you do anything on my bed I will ruin you.” You pointed at him accusingly and Suki gave him a big kiss. 

“Don’t worry, Y/N! It’s all gonna be fine,” Suki grinned at you and poked Sokka’s cheek, and you shook your head. 

“I’m too drunk and too sleep deprived to deal with this,” you grumbled as you climbed into the back seat of Katara’s car, nearly falling over as soon as you sat down. 

“Take care of her, okay?” Zuko muttered to Katara as he walked past her. She mock saluted and grinned. 

“As if I’m capable of anything else.” 

Through the window you could see Aang and Zuko talking about something while you left the parking lot, but you couldn’t hear them. “Whaddya think they’re talking about?” 

“It’s probably nothing,” Katara said with a smile. 

~~~~~~

Soon, you, Katara, and Toph were all back at the dorm, sitting on the floor talking together. It had been a long time since you had gotten some girl time, and no other time was better than after partying your heart out. 

You pulled out your phone and stared at it, tuning out Katara and Toph as they started going on about one of their classes. You had an internal conversation with yourself, then unlocked it and went to your messages. Drunk you was taking control, and drunk you was not the smartest.

#avatar #avatar the last airbender #avatar smau #atla smau #atla #smau #social media au #zuko #zuko smau #zuko x y/n #zuko x reader #avatar the last airbender smau #fic #writing #sadie writes

[kiwibirbs-library]

Not What You Expected

a/n: hi hi so i had this idea after seeing a bunch of things on how everyone thinks kags is super scary but he really is a cinnamon roll and about how hes only really seen like because of middle school. So imma play off that. im thinking about making this a type of series but idk on who other than like three charcters soooo

btw this is kags second year so the third years arent there there to much. Im also going to warn you right now this is INCREADABLY LONG as crap and the stories are uneven i got carried away

word count: 3460 words

warnings: fluff of the century, not read through

pairing: Kageyama Tobio x fem!reader

summary: Tobio Kageyama looks like the type to be mean at any time of day to anyone. Of course of the past couple of years you’ve learned different. Over plenty of moments you’ve seen that reputation get proven wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

not my art

The Day You Met

Tobio Kageyama.

The name is known around Karasuno now that he’s a second year. Normally that’s a good thing. But his name was known for being a guys the was mean and snappy. A name known for a guy with no friends and no sociability. 

You had never met the guy. Never even seen him in all honestly. You had transfered from Fukurodani half way through this year so it wasn’t to surprising. Still you would think you would at least see him at some point. I mean he even came to the school while you were there. Bokuto had told you about him enough times to know that much.

So when one of your friends invited you to a practice game they were having,, you took the chance to finally see the dude. And dang when you saw him, you SAW him.

There, in the middle of a game that tired YOU out by watching, was this guy running around and jumping like crazy. Everyone was so focused on him and how he was moving. Your eyes how ever were focused on the tall boy with black hair near the net. He seemed so focused on everything. The players, the ball, the net, everything. It was crazy to watch him. He seemed so serious at first but then when he would score a point with a serve his eyes seemed to sparkle. He didn’t smile to much or anything but his eyes just screamed excitement. 

When he set the ball for set point and it landed the whole team yelled in excitement. The tall boy whipped around to his team. Before his eyes could lower from the stands they locked on yours. You both just stared at each other for a second before he went back to teams celebration. Your friend pulled at your arm so she could go talk to the friend that told her of the game. 

She hooked her arm with yours and started down the stairs toward the gym doors. Who was the friend again? Ya- something? You two waited in the hall when a small girl came through the doors. She gave your friend a small smile, walking over to talk to her.

“Y/N this is Yachi! She’s the teams manager, Yachi this is Y/N,” she introduced you two. She smiled, saying hi. You three talked until she needed to go back to the coachs. Thats when you saw him again. He was walking with the small speed demon from earlier. He seemed like he was snapping at him but the small kid wasn’t phased by it. He turned forward where you were standing, locking eyes with you again. You didn’t miss the light pink that hit his cheeks. None the less, he ignored you as they passed by.

Tobio Kageyama, interesting.

Your friend waved goodbye to you as she got into her mom’s car. As they drove away you grabbed your jacket from your bag. When you looked back up you could see Kageyama at a vending machine in the corner. He leaned down, grabbing a carton and stabbing a straw into it. You watched him as his eyes sparkled again when he grabbed it. You laughed a little as you watched him. Here he was getting so excited over a carton of milk. 

You watched him as he left. He was going in the same direction as you. As you followed behind him the sun began to set. There was a quiet meow from a bush up ahead. Your eyes wandered to the noise. When you reached the maker you found a small black kitten. As you stepped closer you found someone else there too. 

Squatting behind the bush, holding a finger out trying to get the small cat to notice him, was Kageyama. He looked frustrated that the cat wasn’t paying him any mind. The kitten turned its head away towards you. It immediately started to you after it saw you. Kageyama followed the animal with his eyes until he saw you. You were sitting on your heels, scratching behind the kitten’s ear. He watched the exchange for a second before standing up to leave. When you looked up it was a lot darker and he was slowly leaving your sight. The wind started picking up and there was wierd rustling coming the trees. All of it was slowly starting creep you out. Looking in front you caught sight of the tall boy again and before you thought about it you were running up to him. 

To say he was shocked when his sleeve got pulled was an understatement. He jumped comically high into the air. He looked down at you with fear before relaxing a little. He was tense and looked a bit confused. 

“um can I help you?” he was leaning away from you but you still had his sleeve in hand. 

“oh I’m sorry. It just got kind of dark and I was hoping I could stick closer to you? Sorry I just wanted to not have something happen,” you said letting go of his sleeve. He looked throughly confused still but (ahem he does have a sister after all) he nodded.

“ya that fine,” you smiled at him and he blushed slightly. As he walked you followed close behind. Then he turned to you. “are you going to stay back there?” he looked over his shoulder to you. It took you back but you took the offer. Jogging up besides him and thanking him a comfortable silence drifted over the two of you. You would have thought you would be scared or intimidated but no, it felt really nice to walk next to him. You turned to him.

“by the way, I’m Y/N L/N. Nice to meet you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When You Met The Team

You were with Kageyama at the vending machine before he had to go to practice. He pressed the button, handing you your own drink before grabbing his own. You leaned on the wall as you two talked. 

It had been a couple months since that walk home, and you had made an effort to say hi every now and then. You didn’t really know why but it was nice talking to him then. And now you were comfortable enough to meet up everyday before his practice. It was always a peaceful interaction and he was always so quiet and calm.

Of course when a little ball of energy came into the picture that changed fast. He came running around the corner and barreled towards Kageyama, not seeing you yet scince you were hidden by the vending machine. 

“KAGEYAMAAAA!” Kageyama flinched turning to the smaller kid. “Come set for me before practice starts!” he hopped up and down.

“ya ok I’ll be there in a second,” Kageyama turned back to you. “sorry I’ll talk to you tomorrow Y/N.” You smiled and nodded to him.

“ok have fun with your practice.”

Hinata froze. That was a girls voice. A girls voice that was talking to Kageyama. He poked his head around the vending machine. When he saw you and confirmed that it was a girl he whipped around to look at him.

“YOU KNOW A GIRL?!” he yelled out. You flinched back while Kageyama jumped back.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN?! YES I KNOW A GIRL HINATA YOU DUMBASS!” he yelled back. As they yelling back and forth, you slipped out from behind Hinata. 

“um Tobio I’m gunna head out,” you patted his shoulder before giving Hinata a small smile before walking off. They both quieted down, watching you go to the road look around then walk down the sidewalk. As you disappeared the two boys turned to each other before Hinata smirked. He bolted down in your direction, Kageyama chasing after him. He raced in front of you, sliding to a stop.

“Hi! I’m Shoyo Hinata! What’s your name? Do you know Kageyama well, you called him by his first name too,” he smiled widely at you. You however had been incredible surprised by his sudden show that you were stumbling backward. Kageyama was the one to stop you from fully falling over. 

“I- uhh hi? I’m Y/N L/N, um yes I do know him,” you stuttered. Kageyama, who was still holding onto your arm, glared at Hinata.

“HINATA DON”T DO THAT YOU IDIOT SHE ALMOST FELL!” he yelled. Your eyes widened. You really hadn’t heard him yell other than that first practice game you watched. He stiffened with his tone, remembering you were still listening. 

“SHUT UP! Oooo wait did I embarrass you or something?” he snickered “No way, did you actually get a girlfriend?!” he looked shocked.

“SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND YOU IDIOT!” you looked up to see his beet red face an you laughed. They both turned to you with a confused look.

“is there something wrong Y/N?” Kageyama asked you.l

“no no I- I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve never seen you like this, you’re normally calmer than this,” you laughed. Hinata snorted

“Pfft I don’t think I have ever heard anyone call him calm,” Kageyama seemed to almost growl at him. You and Hinata continued to laugh however. Thats when Kageyama’s worse nightmare happened. “OH Y/N you should come to todays practice!” he bounced on his heels. You smiled widely and nodded, both of you turning to face Kageyama. “isn’t that exciting Kageyama!” Hinata poked.

Kageyama glared at him mumbling something.

“Tobio? You good?” Hinata smirked at the sound of his name. Kageyama blushed slightly, continuing to glare at Hinata.

“no whatever come on were going to be late,” he turned on his heel and started back to the gym, Hinata and you skipped after him. Hinata went on about the other kids on the team. He was in the middle of saying something about a tall guy with glasses when there was a yell. 

A guy with a shaved head was standing in the door way, hands on his hips and a wide, kinda scary smile, on his face. A small guy slid into the space behind him, a bleached section of his hair swinging with the momentum. 

“well you two are never late wh- oh...” the guy with the buzz cut stopped when you came out from behind Kageyama.

“helloo pretty girl I have never seen before! Whats your name?” the short one asked with a smile. You just smiled and introduced yourself. Hinata bounced into the gym, telling them about how he invited you to watch. They followed along with the excitement, introducing themselves and throwing in some complements here and there. They whole time Kageyama was grinding his teeth and glaring. He stayed quiet though, not wanting to full on yell in front of you. He followed behind you into the gym, the other third years noticing you as well. The three came up to you and introduced themselves. The captain, Enoshita, was in the middle of telling you where you could sit when Nishinoya flew in out of nowhere almost jumped on you in the process. You weren’t paying attention to what he was saying out of surprise. 

There was a faint snickering from somewhere, gaining your attention. A tall boy in glasses sat on the floor, laughing into his hand.

“honeslty, you should calm down around Kageyama’s girlfriend a little. If you don’t it looks like he’ll crack a tooth,” he said quietly. You turned to Kageyama and sure enough, he was glaring on the wall quietly, teeth grinding again. You laughed lightly at how he stiffened and yelled at the kid with glasses. Noya snickered along with him, switching his attention to poking at Kageyama. 

“its not like that idi-”

“Y/N!?” Yachi came barreling up to you. You smiled, finally seeing someone you were familiar with. She gave a glance to the boys, gently pulling you away. “sorry if they were a bit overwhelming,” she laughed as you two got the stage area. 

“oh don’t worry its actually really nice to watch. Not to mention I’ve never seen Tobio so, I don’t know, uncalm I guess,” you laughed. Yachi gave you a look.

“oh you’ll get used to it. He’s normally like this. I do have to admit that hes a little more intense today,” she giggled.

You ended up staying throughout the whole practice. You watched on the stage as they played against themselves, walking over at one point to help Yachi through the balls up. At one point Kageyama missed a set or two and they bounced off his head. It took about ten minutes each time for the boys to refocus from teasing him. 

By the end of the practice it was dark outside. Yachi had already left, her mom calling her to get home for dinner a little earlier tonight. You waved a goodbye to the team and walked outside, sighing at how uncomfortable you were with walking alone at night.

“wait up!” you turned to the familiar voice. Kageyama jogged up beside you. “sorry I just remembered you don’t like walking home alone at night,” he rubbed the back of his neck. You smiled up at him.

“thank you Tobio,” you paused for a second. “sorry for embarrassing you in front of your team.”

“you didn’t embarrass me. It was actually nice to know you were watching,” you looked back up to him. He was turned away but you could see the red glow to his cheeks. You laughed lightly, returning to the peaceful silence you two could always hold with only one thought. 

‘scary my ass’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Day You Started Dating

Out of all the time you spent with the young setter, this was both one of the sweetest and scariest. 

You had a steady schedule now. You went through your classes, went to the vending machine to meet Tobio for lunch, more classes, and then meeting the boys for club. After meeting them all you became a somewhat unoffical manager, helping with set up, clean up, and over all practice. You were enjoying it, and when you all went to matches you were able to meet people and socialize more than you were. 

You were especially excited for this coming up trip. It was a training camp with the tokyo schools and you were ecstatic to see Bokuto and the team again. As you all filed onto the bus you were practically bouncing off the walls with Hinata in tow. The newer first years watched in slight fear that you two might explode. Even though you sat with Tobio you were still basically having a race with words with Hinata. Unknown to you, however, the tall boy had been waiting for your attention the entire ride.

“Y/NNNNN!” Bokuto was speeding down the stairs in front of Shinzen. 

“BO!!” you yelled back. he picked you up and spun you around in a hug, both of you laughing. The rest of Karasuno watched the interaction in semi-shock. 

“you need to come visit at some point! I haven’t seen you since you transfered!” he said as he set you down. 

“I know, I know I’m sorry,” you both continued talk as the rest of the team came down. Akaashi casually slide into the conversation when he met up with you both. Soon enough he was calming Bokuto down a couple knoches after detecting Tobio’s aura of death from beside the bus. The team was able to catch onto it too, snickering and poking at him. 

This continued throughout the rest of the week. Between Bokuto’s constant hovering with you and the overall simpingness from E V E R Y O N E with all the girls in general, not leaving you out, Kageyama was on the edge of murder. He really wanted your attention more and more throughout the week, but you were busy half of the time. It wasn’t until the third day that he fully snapped.

Karasuno had just lost a set and were taking a breather before their next match and you were talking with the shinzen manager. Shinzens new captain came up to you and joined into the conversation. Kageyama noticed immediately, his attitude getting worse by the minute. He unconsciously moved closer to hear.

“so you’re with Karasuno right?”

“yes I am.”

“oh cool cool. So are you... seeing anyone up there?”

“umm not really,” his head whipped in your direction. You were alone with the captain now, he was slowly leaning closer to you as you backed away.

“not really? So is that a yes or no?” he asked again. It wasn’t even like he was making a big scene or being mean about it, but you were still uncomfortable. You probably looked normal but Kageyama could see it. The way your eyes were shifting between him and around the room. The way you were leaning backward and shuffling backward at the same time. The way you held his gaze when you found it. He immediately stood up and walked over to you. The captain took notice quickly and backed off a little with the glare he was getting. 

Tobio grabbed you hand, throwing one last glare, then pulling you away and outside. He sat down and pulled you in between his legs. You were currently confused, flustered, and scared. Confused because what was happening. Flustered because you were now located basically in his lap with his head on your shoulder. And finally scared because the glare he just gave the other player was scarier than any other he’s ever thrown to Hinata or Tsukkishima. 

“um Tobio?” you tried to turn around to look at him but he help you in place.

“I really didn’t like it,” he said quietly.

“what?” you turned your head a little.

“I really didn’t like him hitting on you. I didn’t like how I haven’t been able have your attention these past few days. I really don’t like that,” he mumbled into your shoulder. You smiled lightly. You knew you should be trying to comfort him in a way but, listening to how he was talking, you could only smile .

“Tobio can I turn around?” he stiffened slightly before letting go of your waist. You turned, sitting on your knees. “you know, if you wanted my attention, you could have just asked,” you giggled.

“harder said than done with a girl that is constantly surrounded by guys,” the start of a smile spreading on his face.  

“oh please, you could steal me away at anytime and I wouldn’t complain,” you flirted. He blushed at the comment. 

“so like does that count at school too?” he asked looked back up to you.

“as long as anytime means what I think it means, then yes,” you laughed again.

“and at random times of the day?”

“yes,” the laugh you had was growing.

“and  at practice?”

“oh.my.GOD. Tobio just ask me out!” you laughed into his shoulder. He was bright red and had been for a while. His smile was growing despite that though.

“isn’t it cheesy if I just ask ‘will you go out with me’?” he was starting to laugh too. You both just sat there, his hands on your waist and you head on his shoulder, shaking with laughter.

Little did either of you two know you would get caught in a couple of minutes by one shocked coach Ukai after not being able to find Kageyama.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Graduation

It wasn’t anything really special. Just everyone after buzzing with excitement about after parties and pictures. You had run out to meet your family and friends a little late. You saw everyone in a little group, the now third years on the team, their families, and a couple others. You could see Nishinoya and Tanaka jumping up and down and patting Hinata and Kageyama’s heads. You smiled as you got closer to them, knowing that they didn’t need to come. Kageyama saw you and smiled softly. You sped up slightly, running head on into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you. 

There were groans from the boys, while their parents cooed and awwed. He always was like this with you though. No matter how pissed or upset he was he would always smile when you showed up. It meant a lot to you, knowing how he hated the teasing. 

Thats when he did what he never does. He pushed you away slightly, then taking your chin in his hand. When he kissed you there were quiet gasps and gags from your little group. 

“sorry I just needed to do that,” he mumbled against your lips. Once again you could only think one thing as you smiled back to him.

‘scary my ass’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: dang that was long ok thanks for sticking through it tell me if you would like this with more of the charcters :)

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #kageyama #tobio kageyama #kageyama x reader #volleyball #oh my god #ok but when i wrote him asking Y/N out ahhhhh

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

Roma Marinette pt. 1

Marinette's parents joined a traveling circus a year before Marinette was born. They make all the food that's sold as well as food for their fellow travelers.

Marinette is born in the circus. She is one of three kids. Only one year younger than Dick Grayson, Dickie as she grows up calling him, and five years younger than Johnny Grayson. Dick's nickname for Marinette is Marigold. Marinette takes to the Graysons she and Dick adore each other and all the Graysons love little Mari. With Tom and Sabine's permission they start training her along with Dick. Both kids fast learners with what seems like an ability to completely defy gravity and break its rules.

Dick and Marinette are stuck at the hip learning everything their circus family can teach them. Marinette is the one that decides that they should learn knife throwing and fire spinning. While Dick decides they are going to work out with the strong men and learn how to handle the animals. 

While they are still too young to join in on the trapeze they are allowed in the show. Together they wow crowds doing cartwheels, flips, and complicated floor routines together. Once they are 6 they are allowed to fly with the rest of them. Their shows garner more and more attention, everyone wanting to see the two youngest aerialists in the world.

Everything is perfect in their lives, until they go to Gotham for a show. Dick parents begin acting weirdly, hugging Dick more and more, while looking at him in a resigned manner. This causes both to worry a bit but they don't let it show. When Dick sees people messing with the trapeze both of them brush it off. Before the show they meet the young Drake family and take a picture together. Marinette and Dick are on one knee together with Tim sitting on their bent knees.

When the lines snap Marinette and Dick stand on the boards opposite of each other watching in horror as the lines snap. In minutes both are on the ground near the bodies, Dick crying silently holding his mother's bracelet while Marinette holds him tightly crying herself.

Bruce walks up and talks to the two and is slightly surprised to find that Marinette wasn't their daughter. Marinette smiles weakly telling them she was pretty damn close. Bruce comforts Dick before going to talk with the Commissioner and a Social Worker.

Before the end of the night Dick is packing up his stuff and getting ready to leave with the social worker. Bruce never leaves their sides. Marinette stops Dick from leaving and hands him her stuffed tiger named Sikhaya. Dick hugs it tightly before pulling out his elephant Zitka and giving it to her.

Marinette pulls him into a tight hug sniffling into his shoulder.

Mari- Don't you dare forget me Richard Grayson. We'll find each other again someday Dickie. So until then don't you dare forget me.

Dick- I could never forget you Bluejay. 

Two months later Marinette and her parents leave the circus and settle down in Paris. It breaks their hearts but after the Grayson's tragedy Tom and Sabine find it the best option.

Dick and Marinette don't see each other for a very long time, but they never forget the other.

Zitka is well loved and taken care of. The stuffed animal has a special place on Marinette's bed even when she is an adult. While Dick takes to putting Sikhaya on a shelf when his brothers come into the mix, not wanting it to be destroyed if they become destructive.

Dick grows up as Bruce's son becoming Robin when he turns nine. At thirteen he joins a team of young superheroes, at fifthteen he leaves behind Robin giving the mantle to his new brother Jason. He also begins dating Barbara. They break up a year later when Dick realizes he is continually comparing Barbara to Marinette. When he becomes seventeen he mourns the loss of his brother and nearly kills the Joker, only stopped by Batman. He takes a year break, taking counseling sessions with a reformed Harley Quinn. During his break he meets Tim Drake once again, he doesn't remember him however. He begins training Tim to find solace in acting as a brother again, he also digs up evidence on why the Drakes are terrible parents. Dick encourages Tim to become Robin, his first night out as Robin is Nightwing's return. When he turns 18 he goes to the police academy, and once he graduates he becomes part time and goes to college for business. He is 20 when Red Hood begins targeting the entire family. Jason was not prepared for how vicious Dick got when he shot Tim. Batman once again stops Dick in his anger, telling him once again that neither of his brothers would want him to kill. Jason uses this time to escape from the family and drops into hiding. He hacks into the Batcave and watches the caves videos and reading reports of what's happened since his death. When Jason finally comes back he is ashamed and is surprised when Dick simply hugs him crying. Things are tense between Bruce and Jason, but a few counseling sessions with Harley and their relationship is slowly rebuilding. Shortly after Damian comes into their lives. Dick is quick to knock Damian down when he attacks Tim. He tells Damian that he doesn't care who his mother is, or that he is Bruce's blood son. He slowly brings Damian into the family. While the boy is still distant and mean to the family they all notice he doesn't mean his insults anymore. When Dick is twenty-two he graduates college with a degree in business. He begins working at Wayne Enterprises as well, he mainly works from home and behind the scenes with Mr. Fox. No one outside the company knows he also works there, the entirety of Gotham believes he is just Officer Grayson.

Marinette grows up in Paris with absent parents. They love her but now that they have their own business they only have time for dinner with Marinette. While she is upset she joins gymnastics and aerial arts classes, quickly rising to the position of top student. She also begins going to regular school during her first day. She is so nervous she keeps tripping. The entire class soon begins to view her as clumsy, something that sticks. Even though Marinette only trips afterwards when someone does it on purpose, they choose to ignore the fact she catches herself quickly. While everyone believes she is just clumsy Marinette no one realizes that she is Paris's national champion in Gymnastics. Marinette is so good that they want her on Paris's Olympic team once she turns 16. When she turns ten she realizes she can sell her designs online. She pulls out all her notebooks pulling out her favorite designs and begins to make them all. Once done she creates a website under the name Marigold. On each outfit she hand stitches Mari in gold thread, for a signature marking. Marinette slowly makes friends outside her classmates, while they are nice they all stand by when Chloe attempts to bully Marinette and she doesn't like that. Especially when she sticks up for a few of them, she remains civil and polite to them although in her eyes she is clearly distant. When she is thirteen she becomes friends with Alya, the two girls slowly growing closer. She also develops a crush on Adrien that Alya blows way out of proportion wanting to help her new bestie. While Marinette likes Alya, Dick still holds the spot of best friend in her heart. Marinette also becomes Ladybug, she struggles at first but her years of training in flying helps her greatly and her aim has not deteriorated since leaving the circus. Marinette begins making less clothes and takes up karate classes as well four days go to gymnastics, two go to aerial arts and one to karate. Her three main instructors make the connection to her being Ladybug after a year, when Ladybug uses an aerial move that only she has ever used in front of them. 

Aerial Arts- Madeline Saint Cloud

Gymnastics- Tasha Buchanan 

Karate- Abraham Lebanon

Instead of confronting her the three get together and come up with a way to help Marinette. They start by deciding that Chat Noir either needs to get serious or get lost. One month later they all have solid examples of. why Marinette needs to bench him if he doesn't. It's at that time they confront her. Marinette attempts to lie saying that she isn't but stops when Madeline speaks up.

Madeline- My dear bird, you've never liked lying. You've rarely done it, and because of that you are truly terrible at lying

Marinette is dejected and apologizes to Tikki, but the Kwami just smiles telling Marinette that it wasn't the first time a Ladybug's mentor had found out.

Tikki- It's just never been three before!!

Marinette listens to her instructors carefully before telling them that she agrees. She tells them her partner looks through life with rose colored glasses. That while she does find him kind and silly she doesn't have a crush on him. That she doesn't find him as kind, caring, or as funny as Dick. She pauses after saying this, surprised that she hadn't said Adrien. Her instructors watch her as she closes in on herself taking a moment to sort through her thoughts. Once she is done a stray tear falls from her left eye.

Marinette- After all this time my thoughts still drift back to him…Chaton will never measure up to the person I truly love. His insistence and pushing do nothing more than cause stress on our partnership. I will look into having him either replaced or given one last chance.

That night she lays in bed hugging Zitka close to her chest as she stares out her open trap door at the stars. A few minutes go by and Marinette gets out of bed gently setting Zitka down. She walks over pulling the pictures of Adrien down, as well as his schedule tossing them all in the trash. Once done she climbs out onto her rooftop garden Tikki following her and sitting on Marinette's knee once the girl sits down.

Marinette- Adrien...Adrien Im sorry. I took your act of kindness and compared it to the kindness I use to have daily. Instead of seeing you, I saw Dickie. I thought I loved you, but I loved the kindness you showed me, that reminded me so much of him. I don't love you like that Adrien, instead of wanting to be your girlfriend. I just want to be your friend, so from this day on I will try harder to be that.

Two days later Ladybug tells Chat Noir to meet her on the Eiffel Tower that night after patrol. She tells him that she isn't in love with him and that she never will be. She knows she is coming off harsh and she tells him that, then explains that she needs to because after a year he is still acting like this. Chat is clearly saddened, this causes Ladybug to sigh and hug him.

Ladybug- I know it hurts, but you need to come to terms with this Chaton. You are my partner and you're like a brother to me. My heart is already taken, Chaton I have loved him since I was a child. Even if I was to date another right now I would just continue to compare them to my Robin.

Chat agrees to take things more seriously telling her that he still loves her, but he understands. He promises her that he will not let his feelings get in the way anymore. As the months pass the two become closer and closer. When Lila arrives Adrien already knows that she is lying and takes to avoiding her. When he spots Marinette getting put down by Alya and Nino for telling them Lila was lying he is quick to stand up for her. This causes a split among their classmates they don't want to be mean to Adrien, but he is always with Marinette. Lila is constantly telling the class that Marinette is bullying her and they want to do something but Adrien gets in their way. While Adrien and Marinette get closer they both realize one day that their partner in suits and civies is the same person. After them the two are rarely separate from each other. Gabriel finds Marinette very respectable despite Marinette being Roma, which would caused him to turn up his nose at first. He allows Adrien to spend more time with her, giving him permission to attend her gymnastics competitions. She is fifthteen when she becomes the new Guardian. By the time both are sixteen they have been outcast by their class and forced to the back. However they did not allow this to way down on them. Adrien had gained permission to model for Marinette along with their friends Luka and Kagami, and Jagged and Clara, two of Marinette's most famous clientele. Marigold was a very well known designer however no one knew what she looked like. Marinette never stepped out in public so the media didn't know the designer was a high school student. Marinette was also old enough to try for a spot on the Olympic team. She is sent an email the day of her birthday and Tasha laughs at the subtle begging in the email. Marinette is quick to agree and the four friends go out for dinner to celebrate. Only for it to be ruined when Lila shows up with Alya, Rose, and Alix claiming that they stole the table she reserved. Adrien was going to snap until Marinette placed a hand on his arm. She wiped her mouth standing up gracefully. She smiled politely at the four telling them not to worry the table was open now. The four walk away together not acknowledging Lila's glare. Marinette is seventeen when she participates in the Tokyo Olympics Adrien going with both her and Tasha. She uses Kaalki to get her and Adrien back to Paris for Akuma attacks. She loves her entire time in the Olympic Village. Marinette takes the gold for all four events. She is crying as she stands with her teammates four medals around her neck. Returning to Paris had been wonderful, she was greeted by the President and the Mayor and many fans. Adrien teased her relentlessly over the amount of fans she had. Once they returned to school the entire class demanded to know why Marinette never told them. Marinette simply sighs telling them she never kept it a secret. That she'd told them plenty of time she couldn't do something because of training. The class is really upset and they try to get Bustier on their side and the teacher just sighs softly wishing she never agreed with the Principal to teach Lila Rossi. Bustier knew she wasn't the best teacher but that girl destroyed her reputation by turning her class into the worst in the school. They are eighteen when they begin attending college Marinette for fashion and Adrien business. Marinette is nineteen when she and Adrien take down Hawkmoth only to discover Gabriel Agreste underneath. They hand him over to the cops before heading to the Eiffel tower together. Once there Adrien and Marinette de-transform and Adrien breaks down, Marinette pulls him into a tight hug tear of her own falling. Two months later Adrien sold off his father's company and the mansion. Moving into a cosy apartment with Marinette. Adrien takes the last name Dupain-Cheng and the announce it together on their way to the next Olympics when Marinette is twenty-one. She once again takes home all four gold medals, keeping her title for another four years. They graduate college together at twenty-two, and decide its time for the world to meet Marigold. Marinette reveals herself to the world as Marigold, and everyone in the fashion industry is talking about the young women who built her fashion empire before she was even 18. Adrien takes a job in her company head of PR. When they fully introduce themselves they become known as Marinette and Adrien D.C. The world is talking about the D.C. siblings, most of the conversations being around Adrien no longer going by Agreste. Together they travel the world, nothing changing in their lives until they visit Gotham, and Marigold receives an invitation to the Wayne Charity Event.

Marinette's first stop in Gotham is the place where the Graysons fell. Adrien goes with her hugging her gently as she softly cries. The next day she visits their graves alone, saying hello to the cold stone and asking if they remember her. She leaves flowers on the graves and a letter to each of them, including one to Dick. 

Marinette- Thank you for all you taught me and encouraged me to learn. I never thought I'd use my flying to save peoples lives when I returned to Paris.  Please continue watching over me and Dickie. I'm going to find him, I promise.

She leaves the graves feeling a lighter happy to have visited them once again

When the Charity Event arrived Marinette and Adrien D.C. couldn't wait to leave their mark on Gotham high society. Unknown to both of them that Dick Grayson had become Richard Grayson-Wayne.

@blackmagicforever

@chocolateherringtacofan

@mythogaychic

#maribat #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fandom #miraculous marinette #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #miraculous au #dinette #batfam dick grayson #dick grayson #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #lila salt #circus #class salt #batman #batfamily #BatFam

[slowly-writing]

Puppy

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word count: 1K

Requested by @im-salt-but-not-salty: I'm thinking of concepts (?) That aren't really a whole detailed idea but you're writing for Wanda and you're my favourite writer for her ❤️   • Wanda being taller than reader • reader wants a dog (maybe poodle?) And Wanda surprises her adopting one.   All of them up to you, I appreciate you a lot and wish you the best always

“I’m gonna get a puppy,” you say and Wanda literally chokes on her coffee, almost spitting it across the table.

“What?” She asks and you shrug not looking up from your cereal.

“I’m going to go get a puppy today,” you say and she sighs. You’ve always been a bit impulsive, and she can’t quite tell if you’re being serious or not.

“Love, we are in no way prepared for a dog,” she kisses the top of your head as she takes her dishes to the sink and it’s your turn to sigh as you follow.

“I know. But I want one,” leaning into her side, your head barely reaching her shoulder, you let your disappointment shine through.

“We’ll get a puppy one day. I promise.”

xxxxx

“What’s y/n doing?” Steve’s question causes Wanda to glance towards you. You’re sprawled upside down on the couch, legs dangling over the back as you stare intently at your phone.

“Looking at dogs, probably. She’s on it like crazy lately. I get it, dogs are cute, but with how much both of us are away it’s just not realistic,” Wanda says with a shrug and Steve nods.

“I get that. Bucky keeps on fighting for a cat saying it’d be practice for children. I’ll retire for kids, but I’m not leaving the field for a pet. What kind of dog is she looking at getting?” Steve asks.

“This week it’s a Great Dane. It’ll hopefully change by next week,” Wanda rolls her eyes and Steve’s almost pop out of his head.

“She realizes that would be bigger than her, right?” He whisper yells, trying to keep you from hearing his comment.

“I’m aware. You go try and talk some sense into her, because she’s not listening to me!” Wanda practically yells, she knows there’s no way you’re paying attention to anything but the dog pictures you’ll no doubt be showing her later. Steve glances to the couch and shakes his head. He’s not touching that.

xxxxx

“Is y/n still begging for a dog?” Steve asks one morning, a few weeks later, over breakfast.

“Unfortunately. I love her, and it’s killing me not to be able to make her happy, but there’s just nothing I can do,” Wanda says sadly, stabbing at her pancakes with a fork. “What about you? Is Bucky still on that cat thing?”

“Sort of. We found out Sam is allergic. At first it made Buck want one even more, but I convinced him it was a no go. Now he’s on the dog train too,” Steve says and Wanda shakes her head.

“Those too will be conspiring against us in no time.” As soon as the words are out of Wanda’s mouth, Jarvis’s voice is coming over the loudspeaker.

“Your presence is requested in the common room,” he says and the two glance at each other.

“Who’s?” Steve questions.

“All of the Avengers,” Is the response they get and the two stand, wondering what could be happening now. When they get there it’s not the secretary of state with a new set of rules or Fury with a mission. It’s you and Bucky with a powerpoint. This is gonna be good.

“We’ve gathered you here to discuss a very important topic,” You say dramatically clicking to the title card as everyone settles on the couches.

“A dog,” Bucky finishes and they look at the poorly made slides with corny clip art photos.

“Reasons we need a dog, number one protection. Dogs are historically good at guarding your home! They’ll keep us all safe!” you begin proudly.

“We’re literally called the earth’s mightiest heroes. I’m not too worried about a home invasion,” Tony teases and you deflate a bit.

“Reason number two, responsibility. Dogs have always been used to teach children responsibility!” Bucky adds in.

“You’re both adults. Plus you’re in charge of protecting the world, is that not enough responsibility for you?” Clint says calmly. He's had this conversation with his kids more times than he can count, he gets the excitement they feel.

“You spelled responsibility wrong,” Natasha cuts in and you glare.

“Anyway! Number three Navigation. If we get lost they’ll lead us home!”

“That’s what phones are for,” Tony’s comment is ignored this time.

“Number four, they’re great with kids!”

“There’s no kids here,” Wanda says gently as she steps towards you and you shrug.

“Not yet, but it’s bound to happen eventually!” You say enthusiastically and she sighs.

“Love, if there was anyway I could, we’d do it. But it’s just not realistic,” Wanda says and it’s your turn to sigh as she pulls you into her arms. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you say softly, standing up on your toes to place a kiss on her cheek, “it was a dumb idea anyway.”

Wanda’s heart breaks as you walk away. It may be silly, but it would make you happy, and now she’s determined.

xxxxx

“Alright, there’s one more gift. Y/n, Buck come here,” Steve announces and you glance to the tree. Christmas is here and you’ve spent the morning opening gifts, but you thought you were done.

“It’s not under the tree, and it’s for everyone,” Wanda explains. “This gift is a team effort, but I think it’ll make you two the happiest. Come on Nat!”

You and Bucky glance towards the doorway as Natasha comes in, leading a tiny puppy on a leash and you both gasp.

“You got us a puppy!” you cheer, jumping into Wanda’s arms. She catches you easily, laughing as you press kisses all over her face.

“We figured at least one of us is normally here, and Pepper agreed to look out for her when we were all gone. I just wanted to make you happy, love.” You smile at her, tears gathered in your eyes.

“You do make me happy. Puppy or no puppy, though this is a bonus I won’t say no to,” you say and she sets you down with a watery laugh.

“You make me happy too. Now go play with your new dog,” she says and you press one more kiss to her cheek before running off to do just that.

xxxxx

Also, if you wanna see the powerpoint, that’s an option

tag list: @rvgrsbrns @rororo06 @prizmix-and-friends @5aftermidnight @worlds-in-words @riotmaximoff

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff reader insert #Marvel #marvel fic #marvel reader insert #avengers fic #avengers #avengers reader insert #puppy

[illfoandillfie]

5 Simple Rules For A Successful Fake Relationship: Ben’s POV

5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: 14 scenes told from Ben's Perspective.

Warnings: A whole lotta angst and badly handled feelings. swearing, drinking, a little bit of smut/masturbation (18+) basically everything from the other chapters but from Ben’s side lmao

Words: 22 790 (oh god im sorry, but all the sections are separated so you don’t have to read it in one hit!)

A/N: I know it's like super duper late but here is the final chapter of this series that I promised! Basically just a collection of blurbs (maybe a few oneshot length parts too) that tell the story from the other side. Some are his point of view of things that occurred in the main chapters, some fill in gaps that reader wasn't around for. 

I had a lot of fun writing from a perspective I don't normally write from! It was a bit of a challenge at times but definitely something I'd like to do again.

Taglist: @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @taron-egrotten @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies

@coni-martina @hardforbenhardy @cubedtriangle @vicouscirce @arianabrashierstuff @pattieboydwannabe @maggieroseevans @theprettyandthereckless @friccinfricks​ 

“Pick up Joe, pick up,” Ben mumbled to himself, pacing around his trailer. The phone rang out and he let out a grunt of annoyance as he switched to text message.

I fucked up. Call me.

It was an anxious ten-minute wait in which Ben found it hard to sit still or focus on anything other than what a colossal mistake he’d made. He tried to go over his lines instead, tried to focus on the next scene you’d be filming together but all he could think about was you. You and how badly he’d fucked up. Finally Joe put him out of his misery. “Thank Christ,” “Sorry I was asleep,” a yawning Joe said from the other end of the line, “What happened that you needed to contact me at 6am?” “I said yes,” “To?” “Joe, I know it’s early for you but please try to keep up. I said yes.” There was a pause as Joe tried to work out what Ben meant and then realisation dawned, “Nooooo,” “Yes. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking. Oh my god,” Joe groaned, sympathetic, “You said yes? To the fake dating schtick?” “I wasn’t going to,” “I should fucking hope not. After everything we talked about yesterday? After we agreed it was a horrible idea?” “I know! I know,” Ben had to pause to gulp in a breath, his chest suddenly feeling too tight to handle the oxygen, “I was going to say no. I came in with a plan to say no and it was on the tip of my tongue for the entire meeting. They were going through these pages explaining it all and all of the rules we’d have to follow and I was ready to say no, I was going to say no,” “So what happened?” Ben flopped down onto his couch, the one he liked to nap on when time allowed, running his hand through his hair as he spoke, “I looked over at her and my mind clouded over and I said yes,” “Did she ask you to?” “Nope. I think she knew what I was thinking through the whole thing, she seemed shocked when I agreed to it. Fuck, why did I say yes?” “Cause you’re a fucking idiot.” “You can say that again,” “I could but I won’t.” Joe exhaled slowly into the receiver, “Jesus man,” “Yup. You wanna know the worst part though?” “Agreeing to it wasn’t the worst part?” “I’m not totally disappointed,” “Ben,” Joe sounded mildly horrified so Ben hurried to explain. “I mean, I know it’s bad. I know there were a thousand ways to better handle it...sticking to the plan and asking her out after we wrapped being the least of them. But...I have date ideas picked out already. There’s this wine and art place she’d love and the ice-skating rink and I’d love to take her to that Chinese restaurant near me. And I’m kind of happy I have an excuse to look at her now, touch her. I don’t have to worry about if she’s caught me staring or if I’m doing a bad job of hiding my feelings because everyone’s going to think we’re dating anyway so what’s the fucking harm,” “Alright Ben, I’m gonna stop you there. You need to get this shit under control. I suggest going to a bar, getting drunk, and getting into the pants of the first girl who talks to you.” “Can’t,” “Oh don’t give me that bullshit. You’re not so hung up on this Y/N chick that you can’t think about sleeping with someone else, are you?” “Doesn’t matter, I literally can’t unless I want everyone to think I’m cheating on her. Don’t think that’d go down well with the studio or anyone else really. They’d crucify me for fucking up the plan after less than a day.” “Would you have followed my advice even if that wasn’t the case?” Ben mad a non-committal noise, “Probably not. I just want her,” “Doesn’t she have a boyfriend? I distinctly remember you whining about a boyfriend.” “Apparently it was never that serious. He was boring.” “You’re boring too Ben. Hate to break it to you but you’re dull, unexciting, tedious. She’s not going to want to date you either. Might as well give up now,” “Have you got a thesaurus sitting in your lap?” Joe laughed despite himself, “I thought this was going to be a crush Ben. Short lived.” “Me too. It’s not though. I can’t get her out of my mind. When I’m with her I don’t want to leave and then when I have to leave all I can think about is when I’ll next see her. She’s so wonderful and beautiful and kind-hearted. She likes pulling faces at me from behind the camera and she’s got the cutest laugh…When she’s nervous about a scene she bounces her leg. Every time. And she’s so sweet to everyone on set, always chatting with whoever is around and making jokes and stuff. I want to make her laugh. I want to calm her when she’s nervous. I want her.” “Maybe you should just tell her how you feel now. I know you wanted to wait until after the movie but I think that horse has bolted,” “I can’t tell her now, are you insane? If I tell her now she’ll call up her agent and cancel the whole fake dating thing and she’ll never want to see me again,” “Maybe she wants to date you too,” “Nope. She literally said to me she wouldn’t date me in real life,” Ben paused, thinking, “d’you reckon there’s a chance she might fall for me too? Like, with the whole pretending to date thing? Maybe I could convince her I’d be a good boyfriend,” “Don’t get your hopes up Ben,” “You’re right. She’s not going to change her mind about me. We’re friends and that’s it. And I’ve just gotta focus on finishing this movie and getting through the whole relationship without her figuring anything out.” “I don’t envy you, buddy.”

                                                       ***

It took Ben a few moments of lying in the dark to remember why he felt so nervous first thing in the morning. But the waiting message from Peter about what time the photographer would arrive was enough to remind him. He lay there a little longer, trying to prepare himself for everything, trying to convince himself that seeing you first thing in the morning would be enough of a turn off to stop him from feeling the way you made him feel. It didn’t work, the convincing or the seeing you. If anything, seeing you yawning as you left his spare room just made it all the worse. You, in his pyjamas. It made his stomach flip. He found it hard to pull his eyes from you as you drank your coffee, found it hard to not enjoy the sight of you in his pyjamas in his kitchen. You’d never been there before but you didn’t feel out of place. He could imagine other mornings, making pancakes together, you with a spot of batter on your nose that he’d wipe away and replace with a kiss, or else making you the first tea or coffee of the day and bringing it to you in bed, snuggling under the covers with you, your head resting on his chest as you talked quietly about whatever was happening that day. But planning out how you’d look for the camera was a sharp reminder that it wasn’t real, that you were only there because of work.

“And, um, he was very careful in how he worded it, but they want us to look like we fucked. Also I told them I’d take you home so there may be someone waiting for us there too, he never got back to me on it.” “Shit, okay. Umm, guess I’ll just wear this then?” he watched as you indicated the pyjamas you’d borrowed, his pyjamas, “might lose the pants though, help sell it a bit more.” “Yeah, guess so,” Ben had to clear his throat and avert his eyes, terrified that you’d be able to see what he was thinking, willing himself to stop thinking about helping you out of them. “What time is it?” He glanced at the oven, thankful to have even the smallest of diversions, “Twenty past eight,” “God I haven’t been up this early on a weekend in months.” “Not one for farmers markets or anything then?” This was a better topic. Boring, safe. “Not really. Much prefer lying in bed doing nothing.” Shit, “Me too,” he laughed, trying not to imagine you in his bed in just his shirt (fuck the pants they were too big for you anyway). “We’re meant for each other,” Ben took another sip of coffee to keep from groaning. You had no idea what you were doing to him and he wasn’t going to be the one to tell you. Not now at any rate. He’d killed any chance of anything happening when he’d agreed to this stunt and now he had to suck it up and deal with it. “Did you want to have a shower or anything?” “Nah, you can if you want though,” “Might as well wait until I get home. But I am gonna clean my teeth, especially if we have to kiss.” Jesus, the kiss, he’d almost forgotten about that, “Maybe mess up your hair too, make it look like you didn’t sleep much.” This is dangerous territory. “Well how could I when you’re such a good lover,” Oh god oh god oh god, “I know you’re joking but if anyone asks, I’m incredible. You came like three times,” “Did I now?” “Of course,” “Good thing no one’s gonna ask then, don’t think I’m great at lying,” Ben wanted to stop, wanted to switch back to talking about farmers markets and breakfast options but he didn’t seem to have control over himself anymore, “Besides, it’s not really a lie, I am that good. You just haven’t experienced it personally.” You poked your tongue out at him as you turned back towards the bathroom. As soon as he heard the door shut Ben collapsed forward against the kitchen counter, leaning on his palms as he grappled with what had just happened. He’d need to keep his wits about him from now on. Flirting like that couldn’t happen again, he’d been lucky that you'd treated it like friendly banter. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to drown out the voice that suggested you’re lack of awareness was proof of how disinterested you were. It was only when he heard the bathroom door swing open again that he forced himself to move.

“How do I look?” you asked as you re-entered the room. Can’t avoid looking at her now, she wants your opinion, “Gorgeous.” It was true. Everything you’d done to make yourself look like you’d had a late night just made you even more desirable. The messed up hair, the smudge of makeup around your eyes. He gulped when he noticed the undone buttons of the flannel shirt, just enough to tease, and the missing pants. Tell her you want to pin her to the wall and undo the rest of those buttons. Tell her you want to wake up to that sight every morning. “But do I look like I’ve been thoroughly fucked?” “Oh, right, ummm,” he gave you another cursory look, trying not to linger on any part of you for too long, “yes, I think so,” “I feel like there’s something missing,” suddenly you turned on your heel and stepped back towards the bathroom. Ben waited where you’d left him until, “Oh! I know. Might be taking it a bit far though.” Clearly he was supposed to be part of this conversation, so he followed you to the doorway, stepped just over the threshold, “What is it?” You were scrutinising your appearance in the mirror and he let himself watch your reflection, “what if you gave me a hickey?” Ben’s breath caught in his throat though he managed to stutter out your name. “Yeah, I know, that’s a weird thing to ask. Don’t worry, I think we’ll be fine without it,” He inhaled deeply wondering if your backtracking was a sign that you’d worked out what was going on in his head. He couldn’t let that happen. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to give you a love bite, though he’d prefer to be covering you in them. Slowly, he let the breath go again, “no, you’re right. A hickey will definitely make it look more authentic,”

“It’s not totally inappropriate for me to ask?” Babe this whole thing is inappropriate, “No, no, we have to make it look legit. Here, I’ll uhhh,” With another, less than steady, breath, he stepped behind you, close enough that you were practically leaning against him. His heart began to beat faster, his stomach did summersaults. Carefully he wrapped his arm around your waist to steady himself, pull you closer, as he pushed your hair to the side. He glanced at your reflection, waiting for you to stop him, to notice his shaky fingers and burning skin and to jump away from him. But you didn’t. You let him lean in, let him press his lips to your neck, let him mark you. He felt your own breath speed up, felt you tilt your head, inviting more. And then. It was only a small hum, but it had definitely come from you. He glanced at the mirror again, saw you had your eyes shut. You liked it. He was giving you a hickey and you were enjoying it. This might be his only chance to do that, to make you feel that way. He refocused on your neck, where his lips met your skin, soothing the fresh brand with his tongue. He could happily have given you ten more, was tempted to go in for a second at least. Instead he let you go, stepped backwards as quickly as he could manage. If he waited too long he’d end up saying something he’d regret. “Will that do?” “It’s great Ben really ties the whole look together,” He tried to match your smile though it felt like there was a warning siren going off in his head, “Good. Good. Okay then, I’ll umm, what time is it?” “Just after nine. Wonder if the photographer is here yet,” “I think I will jump in for that shower actually, by the time I’m done he will definitely be here,” he needed some time to compose himself before he even thought about stepping outside the door with you, “Make yourself comfortable though, watch some TV or something.” “Alright. Thanks for being so cool about all this. I know you’re a little sceptical about the benefits and everything.” “It’s fine Y/N, no need for any of that,” he forced another smile as you left but the moment you’d pulled the door shut it slipped again. Slowly he made his way to the tap, splashed his face with cold water. His fingers still tingled where they’d rested against you. The echo of your hum was stuck in his head. Your perfume still lingered in the air. “Fuck,” Ben directed the curse at his reflection, unsure any other word could sum up better than that. The fact that you didn’t want him was fucked, having you here looking the part of the perfect girlfriend was fucked, giving you a hickey for the performance was fucked. And the fact that he was sporting a semi from it was really just the cherry on top of his totally fucked sundae. He couldn’t go back out to you in such a state, especially not when you were going to have to make out for the camera. A shower to relieve himself was the only answer, though he felt bad about you being only a couple of rooms over.

With a final prayer that you wouldn’t overhear or work out why he’d changed his mind about the shower, he turned the taps on and began undressing, wincing a little as he stuck his arm under the scalding hot water. With some adjustment he was able to fully step into the shower, pausing for a moment to relax under the steady beat of the water before reaching for the soap. Of course, you were on his mind as he wrapped his hand around his cock and slowly started stroking himself. The way you looked in his shirt, the swell of your breasts just barely exposed, tantalisingly so. The hem of the shirt draped over your bare thighs. You’d make such a sight dressed like that, lying in his bed, the sheets tangled around your legs. Better still his legs tangled between yours. He thought of the hum you made as he’d sucked at your throat. On the verge of a whine, maybe even a moan. Would you whine if his lips were on your chest instead? What about your thighs, leaving a trail up to… His breathing was faster now, hand moving at a similar speed. We’re made for each other. Your voice, your words. You’d say it, half pant it, while he was inside you. Made for each other. And you’d hum that hum of pleasure. Your thighs, under his shirt. His arm wrapped around your waist, holding you close as he pulled your hair aside. What if you gave me a hickey?  The warmth of your body leaning against his, such a contrast to the cool bathroom tiles. That hum. Those thighs. The way you say his name. Made for each other. Your lingering perfume. Your lingering warmth. Your lingering hum. His name on your tongue. He bit his lip to keep from making any sound as he came onto the floor of the shower. It took Ben a few moments to right his breathing, eyes pressed shut so he could hold onto the fantasy for just a little longer. But he knew he didn’t have the time. At least you get to kiss her again. He rushed through washing his hair, scrubbing himself clean. As he stepped out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and swiped his palm over the fogged-up mirror. He forced himself to smile, tried to make it seem natural but that just made it feel more fake. Maybe you wouldn’t notice. With a final exhale he left the bathroom, heading towards his bedroom to find some clean clothes. Your laugh cut through the mostly quiet house. Something on the tv, a cartoon by the sounds of it, had made you laugh and Ben couldn’t help but smile for real at the sound. It made it all seem worth it. 

                                                      ***

It had been a bit of an odd week. Everyone at work knew about the relationship and Ben had found himself set upon by well meaning set dressers and ADs who were curious to know when it had started and how they’d kept it such a secret because “seriously Ben, no one suspected anything.” That was nothing to his friends though, who were shocked he’d never brought it up even in passing and who demanded to know when they could meet this secret girlfriend of his. “Someone’s gotta tell her about the time you pissed your pants at the fair,” “I was seven and had drunk a lot of coke,” “Excuses, excuses. What’s your excuse for never mentioning her before?” “I thought we were going to play FIFA, not talk about my love life,” “We were but that was before we all saw your girlfriend’s arse online,” “You can’t see her arse in that shot,” “Near enough. And we can definitely see the giant fucking hickey on her neck. Now explain yourself,” “Alright mum,” Ben shook his head, “I mean, you know I don’t normally date people I work with. Neither does she. We both wanted to give our selves some time to see if it worked, to make sure what we thought we were feeling was legit and not on screen emotions carrying over or anything like that.” “Well it looks legit judging by photos,” “Shut up,” Ben sighed, rolling his eyes, “I actually really like her,” “Hey, I have a question. When the fuck have you been seeing this chick? Because your down time is spent with us.” “Oh, umm, y’know, after work and stuff. I don’t spend all of my time with you guys,” “Uhhh beg to disagree,” Ben tried to keep his tone normal though his heart was racing. If they figured it out now it could all be over, “Fuck off I have a life outside of you. And just because I was hanging with you guys in the evening doesn’t mean I didn’t see her earlier in the day.” “Nooners?” “Lunch dates.” “Uh huh. Okay, lunch dates. She’s a good shag though, right?” “Oh yeah, fucking….great shag,” “You gotta give us more than that mate,” “Sure, okay, but first can one of you kill me,” “Boooooo,” Ben laughed as he was pelted with crisps, “I’m so going to kick all your arses, now hand me a controller.”

The week had also brought him a copy of your rules. He’d taped the sheet to the bottom of his sock draw where no one else was likely to see it but he could still have a daily reminder that none of it was real. Being around you made it easy to forget you weren’t actually his girlfriend, the lines between friendly banter and flirty teasing becoming too blurred. Of course, he also had Joe reminding him to keep his head straight. He’d called after he saw the morning-after photos. The conversation had started with Joe calling Ben a moron but quickly shifted into Ben ranting for close to an hour because he’d, that morning, heard all about the conversation with Felicity and how you’d spent so long talking up his prowess. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or scream. “Is this some kind of punishment? Did I do something completely fucked up in a past life and now I’m paying for it?” “Maybe. Or maybe it’s a lesson on why you don’t agree to something because a pretty girl smiles at you.” “Oh bugger off, you’re absolutely no help,” “Well what do you want me to do?” “I don’t know.” “I could talk to her for you.” “Mate, that’s you’re worst idea yet.” “When’s the date?” “This Saturday.” “Just keep reminding yourself you’re there as friends. Don’t get sucked in by the act.” “I’m trying.” Easier said than done, especially when he’d had the date planned for a solid few months. Not officially of course, but in the back of his head. You and him and a bottle of wine as you sat close together and painted. When he imagined the date you wore a sun dress and decorated your canvas or plate, or whatever it was he pictured that time, with little hearts and lipstick kisses. He’d make you laugh with some kind of joke and you’d lean your forehead on his shoulder. Everyone else would melt away as you looked up at him, still smiling. And you’d say something about how you should have realised you loved him sooner. “Because I do, Ben, I love you,” Which is when he’d kiss you, softly.

Ben shook his head to clear it, focusing back on the script in his hand, though you’d soon distracted him again. The real you, not the fantasy date one. The one who was bouncing her knee and staring off into space. He gently touched your shoulder, “Hey, are you okay?” “Huh?” “You’re jiggling your leg a lot which you only do when something’s worrying you, what is it?” “Oh, nothing,” He didn’t believe you, “Is it about our date tonight?” “What if it’s bad? What if we don’t look like we’re actually together and Mary and Pete have to cancel the whole thing?” What a blessing that would be. I might actually be able to get over you. I could stop imaging you in my bed, “I’d get a decent night sleep not thinking about us,” “What?” Shit. He hadn’t meant to say that last bit out loud, “I’ve been worried about it too.” You nodded, your leg twitching as if gearing up to bounce again. “But I think we’ll be okay. It’s not like we’ll be starved for conversation and we’ll have the paint and the wine and we’ll be fine. Plus, weren’t you the one who said this would be easy?” “Yeah I was, but-” “No buts. It’ll be a piece of cake,” Ben didn’t necessarily believe it himself, or at least not for himself. He was going to struggle. But you didn’t have any underlying feelings to fight. For you it really was just a good time painting, “they’ll get whatever shots they get, and they’ll spin it so we look like a couple,” “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry,” “It’s okay,” before he could stop himself he’d reached for your hand, rubbing the back of it. He wanted to do more, to hold you tight and tell you it would be okay. But that would be too much. Instead he rubbed your hand and tried to distract you, “I’m honestly so much more nervous about shooting that scene tomorrow.” “The one where we’re playing matchmaker?” “Yes! Have you seen how many names are in there?” “Theres like six, Ben,” “Yeah but they’re all repeated, and I know I’m going to get the order wrong,” You laughed. It was the best sound in the world and he was determined to make sure he heard it again on your date.

It took Ben an hour to decide on an outfit. He’d had one set aside but looking at it in the mirror it felt too dressy, he needed something more casual. He paused for a calming smoke and then had to brush his teeth again. On set he chewed gum after a smoke, especially if there were kissing scenes, out of politeness more than anything. But the small part of him that hoped you were treating the date as an audition for the roll of real-life boyfriend worried that it would hurt his chances if he tasted like cigarettes. Assuming you’d kiss. So he brushed his teeth again and changed into an outfit he didn’t hate and then worried that he was overthinking it and should have gone with his first outfit, and needed another smoke. Which meant he had to brush his teeth a third time. It took all his willpower to not ask the uber to pull over so he could have another quick puff. But then he was at your place and you were there and he wasn’t panicking anymore. Maybe it was because you looked jittery and nervous and something in his brain overrode his own anxiety to ease yours, or maybe you just had that effect on him. Whatever the reason it meant he could focus on helping you relax. “D’you wanna grab something to eat?” He was nearly positive you hadn’t eaten yet, too anxious. “Uhh, s’pose so,” “Has anyone ever told you you’re indecisive?” “I swear I’m not normally.” “Oh? Do I make you nervous, snookum?” Ben inwardly groaned. When the fuck did snookum become a thing? Why won’t you stop me Y/N? Please god stop me from flirting with you!  It was a relief when he made it to the McDonalds without any more slip ups and he could focus on his food and encouraging you to eat yours. He felt things were going well as you walked hand in hand through the bottle shop. He’d squeeze your hand if he felt you tensing up, make you laugh again, distract you. But then you had nudged him and pointed out the photographer. “Relax, he’s not important,” he said softly, pulling you into his side, trying to keep his own breathing even. Your face had paled at the sight of the camera, and Ben was hit by an overwhelming urge to protect you. He kept you as close as he could, soothed you as best he could. It became easier once you’d reached the shop and could get lost among the other couples and groups of friends, though he caught you checking for the photographer through the glass of the shop front. Ben hesitated for half a second before he turned your head towards him, “Forget the photographer Forget Mary and Peter. Forget our arrangement. We’re just two friends having a fun night out, okay?” This wasn’t the carefree date he’d been fantasising about for months. But he held out hope it still could be. If only he could make you see it. He opened the wine, talked about the art options, anything to distract you from the world outside of the shop. You took a little to warm up but he was glad to see you looking around the room as he went to collect your blank ceramics, taking everything in, and soon enough you were both contemplating designs for mugs, the photographer and the reason for the date seemingly forgotten.

Ben’s hope grew with each passing minute. The longer you were there, the more at ease you became. He got to hear your laugh again, frequently. And the conversation flowed naturally as each of you concentrated on your artwork. The design came to him quickly and he went slow, trying to make his lines as straight as possible and trying to make the engagement ring look like the one you’d spent so much of the shoot wearing. We’re really good at this dating thing. Part encouragement to help when you got nervous, part wishful thinking perhaps. But it was a quote from the movie so you wouldn’t read too far into it. He couldn’t wait to see your reaction to the mug and, as soon as he was done, announced it. “Alright, show me then,” Ben watched closely as you examined the still wet design, chewing on his lip as he tried not to care if you cared that the lines weren’t totally straight or the colours didn’t work. But as soon as you realised what the quote was you smiled. He found himself grinning as you told him how much you loved it. “Thought it was kind of fitting. Plus, it’ll be a nice little souvenir once the movie wraps.” “That was a fun scene to shoot. Best proposal I’ve ever had,” Ben turned the mug back towards himself, double checking for any flaws. He wanted it to be perfect for you, “Best proposal I’ve ever given.” He was on the verge of adding, “My real one will be better though,” but stopped himself short. That would lead to a topic of conversation he didn’t want to deal with. Not with you. Not now. He was a little surprised as you leaned in close and lowered your voice. “Promise I’ll get to keep it after we break up?” “Promise,” he said leaning closer as well. From the outside you must look like a proper couple, whispering sweet nothings as you ignored the rest of the room. His eyes darted to your lips. Kiss her. He could, couldn’t he? He could get away with it. That was what you were there for, to be a couple, to have photos taken of intimate moments. No one would question it if he just closed the gap, not even you. But he hesitated too long, the shriek of laughter from another table interrupting the moment. He leaned back in his seat, trying to put some distance between you before he lost his head again, “So do I get to see mine?”

Ben was nearly speechless when you did eventually let him see it. The guitar with the lyrics beside it. He couldn’t have stopped from smiling even if he’d wanted to. “And how did you know that’s one of my favourite songs?” “It is? It’s just the song I overheard you playing that one time.” That one time. A few weeks previous. Between scenes, as he’d waited for the cameras to be organised around the new set. He hadn’t meant for anyone to hear him, least of all you. But he’d been starting to feel tense and wanted to unwind before filming resumed so he’d gone back to his trailer and taken out his guitar. It was a song he’d always liked but he’d been listening to it more often since meeting you and it was the song his fingers had begun to play without him realising. Now here it was, on the mug you’d painted for him. And you had no idea that when he sang about the stun gun lullaby, he was singing about your laugh, or that you so completely had his attention that no other woman could compare. The song might have been written for someone else but whenever he heard it, it was you being sung about. Was that a sign to not give up hope? His heart ached with how much he wished you loved him the same. Fuck, love? He’d never let himself think the L word before, that was serious shit. But it fit. He was hopelessly in love with you and there didn’t seem like there was much he could do to change the situation.

                                                      ***

Ben looked up from his laptop to see you, brows furrowed, digging through your bag. “Something wrong?” he asked as you pulled your lips between your teeth, worrying at it absentmindedly, in what he had to admit was an adorable fashion. “Uhh, I think I need to go home,” “How come? If you forgot something I have a replacement here. What was it sunnies? Chapstick? A book?” “No, it’s not that sort of-” “Then what? You already have a toothbrush and PJs here,” “No it’s something else... I just think I’d be more comfortable at home today,” Ben tried to keep his voice steady but his mind was whirring with the possible reasons for your sudden wish to leave. Did you know about his secret? “Well a-are you sure I can’t help. We’re meant to be seen together this afternoon and if we leave now they won’t be able to get a shot of us smooching,” You chuckled at his word choice and he found it hard to repress his smile. “I’ll apologise to Mary and Peter, tell them something came up and see if we can reschedule,” “Are you positive there isn’t anything I can do?” You shook your head slightly, “if you really must know my period is a little early and I don’t have any tampons on me. Happy?” “Oh,” he began to laugh at your slight embarrassment, more relieved than embarrassed himself, “is that all?  Y/N, you’re not the first girlfriend I’ve had, fake or not. I’m a 29 year old man I can deal with talking about periods, and I can certainly run to the shop for you,” “No, no, you don’t have to go out of your way like that. I’ve got plenty at home I just didn’t think I’d need any today,” ““Y/N, I promise, it’s no trouble. I feel bad I don’t have anything here for you already. Been a while since I’ve lived with a girl and it didn’t even cross my mind. Seriously, it’ll take me two minutes.” You didn’t look convinced, eyeing the doorway to the hall. “Plus, if I go we won’t ruin Peter and Mary’s plan for today. And the Paps can get a shot of me staring at boxes of tampons like a good caring boyfriend. It’ll help our image.” You hesitated a moment longer, “oh alright, as long as you don’t mind,”

It took Ben two minutes to collect his shoes and wallet and car keys and then he was out the door, assuring you he’d be as quick as possible. On his way out he saw the photographer, getting into position by his front gate. He shot Ben a questioning look at the detour from the set plan as Ben hopped into his car. As he reversed out of the driveway he caught the photographer’s attention. “Making a run to the shop to pick up something for Y/N. Might be a good photo in it,” Ben felt odd talking to the man – a man who he recognised well enough, who had witnessed every intimate moment he’d shared with you (and who had been the catalyst for a number of them), but a man he knew next to nothing about. But he hoped that by leading the photographer away he was ensuring you’d have a peaceful respite from the constant intrusion of knowing you were being watched. The photographer nodded, replaced the lens on his camera and headed to his own car, following Ben to the closest supermarket. The distraction of communicating with the photographer was almost enough to make Ben stop kicking himself for not being more prepared for this eventuality. It was only once he was at the store, standing in front of a shelf of feminine hygiene products that he was truly side-tracked from his lack of foresight, and realised he had no idea what you wanted. You picked up your mobile on the third ring. “Hey, it’s Ben, what do you want?” “Don’t tell me you forgot already,” “No, I mean, what sort. There’s hundreds of boxes to choose from, I have no idea which brand you like or what, um…strength you need.” “Oh,” you laughed and described what your go to brand’s packaging looked like. He scoured the shelves, trying to block out the snap of a phone camera as the photographer got his shot. “Ah, got it,” he said as he finally located the right one, pulling down a box for you now and one to keep in his bathroom for future use, “see you in a few.” “Thanks Ben,” “It’s nothing,” he refrained from closing the call with a love you, instead just saying, “Part of the boyfriend package.” On his way back towards the register he detoured into the tea and coffee isle, picking out a box of herbal tea bags that said For Women on the box, hoping they’d sooth whatever cramps you were dealing with, and then grabbed a box of chocolates in case you wanted something sweet to snack on. The photographer was outside already, waiting to get a shot of him leaving with a full bag. 

It made Ben’s heart swell to see how grateful you were for his haul. He went to the kitchen to make you a tea and himself a coffee as you ducked into the bathroom. “Did you find the Panadol?” he asked, rattling the box of painkillers as you joined him in the lounge. “Yeah, thanks. I took two but I might need more in a few hours, if I’m still here. I’ll buy you a new box if I use too many,” “Don’t be daft. How are you feeling?” “Yeah fine. A few cramps but it’s nothing.” “Do you want a cuddle?” he asked without thinking. “What?” Ben shrugged, “I don’t know, my ex said that cuddling up with me made her feel better. But that’s a different- she probably said it so she had an excuse to make out a bit,” You laughed, “a cuddle would actually be very welcome right now,” “Oh, well in that case,” Ben shuffled over, patting the space beside him, and tried to remember that you weren’t really dating. But he couldn’t stop himself from pulling you tight against him and breathing deeply.

                                                      ***

Ben wasn’t drunk. Not properly so anyway. He was too much of a chatty drunk to trust himself when he was sloshed. He’d had enough to loosen up and to dull the ache he felt whenever he looked at you. And to leave his keys at the bar. Nothing a glass of water and some TV couldn’t fix. He’d lost himself in the show when his phone dinged, nearly jumping at the unexpected noise. It was a text from Joe.

WTF?

It took Ben a few seconds to work out what it referred to but then the afternoon came back to him, the last scene you’d filmed, the photo he’d posted. Shit. “Ah, shit. Forgot I said I’d call Joe. Do you mind if we pause the ep?” he cast around for a reasonable excuse, “We’re trying to organise travel stuff for him and it’s easier if we talk it through rather than texting it all.” “Sure,” you said, already pressing buttons on the remote. “I promise I won’t be long,” “Take your time, it’s fine.” Ben smiled though it slipped as he left the room and pulled up Joe’s number. He shut the door of the room he used when he stayed over, already sure this would not be a conversation he’d want you to overhear. “What the fuck is that photo Ben?” “It’s nothing,” he sighed, “just the last day of filming,” “Are you alright, you sound weird?” “We went out for a drink.” “You and Y/N?” “And the rest of the cast and crew. And, before you say anything, no I didn’t get so drunk I blabbed about anything. I do have some self control,” “I wasn’t saying anything,” “No but you were thinking it. Anyway, I think I’m allowed to have a few drinks under the circumstances. Not exactly easy being secretly in love with your co-star who you’re also fakely dating,” “Alright, alright, point made. But that doesn’t explain the photo,” “Like I said, last day of filming,” Joe waited for more and begrudgingly Ben continued. “It was our last scene together and I wanted to commemorate it,” “Thank you Y/N for being the perfect Edith to my Andy. And thank you @theperfectmatchmovie for finding me my perfect match.” “Y/N said it was a bit cheesy,” “Uhh yeah, little bit,” Joe laughed, “you’re not worried it was a bad idea?” “No. We got told to post stuff, which you already know since Y/Ns posted tonnes and you’ve commented on nearly all of them. Figured I should pull my weight,” “Someone has to keep an eye on you two. Stop you from doing something stupid.” “That’s what you’re doing is it?” “You sure you didn’t post the photo with that caption because you’re dying to tell her how you feel and this is a safe way to do so?” Ben scuffed his foot along the carpet, digging his toes into the rough material and feeling like a school boy being admonished by a teacher, “So what if it is?” “All I’m saying is be careful. You’re keeping two very large secrets and–” “Yeah Joe, I fucking know but I don’t have much of a choice here,” “That’s what I’m saying…look, I know you’re a bit of a romantic at heart but you’re also not the sort to get this hung up on unavailable skirt so I believe you when you say you love her. But don’t let it slip out because that’ll just make things worse.” “I don’t know what I was thinking getting into this mess,” “Neither do I. Frankly I don’t think you were thinking. At least, not about yourself.” “Yeah maybe. Doesn’t really matter though now does it?” “Alright. This is going to sound harsh, but it’s coming from a place of friendship. Just stop.” “What’s that supposed to mean? I can’t just call it quits now, the story is doing too well and Peter has assured me that the numbers are promising or whatever I don’t really know how they measure it. All I know is that people are going to see the movie because of us.” “That’s not what I meant. I understand you can’t get out of the fake relationship stuff. But, maybe you can get out of the other side of things. Just tell her. Intentionally, tell her. I know it’s not what you want to hear and I know you’re going to argue with me and say you can’t but why not? If you tell her and she admits she likes you then great, you can be together for real. Or, if you tell her and she says she doesn’t feel the same then she can’t get out either and you can be miserable together and she’ll at least stop hanging around you so much when you don’t have to be seen together and you can get over her.” Ben shook his head, “It doesn’t matter Joe. It doesn’t matter how I feel,” “I just think this whole situation…sucks for you. A mirthless laugh rose in Ben’s throat, “of course it sucks. It’s fucking shit man. I just keep waiting for her to tell me she feels the same but it’s not happening,” “Are you sure she doesn’t feel something, even if she’s not saying it?” “No I know it’s completely one sided.” “Is there any chance she already knows? You’re not the most subtle guy in the world Ben, maybe she figured it out before you were approached about the fake out,” “No, I don’t think she knows. She wouldn’t have wanted to do it in the first place if she knew,” Ben heard Joe sigh, “I don’t know what to say then man,” “I just wish things were different. I love being around her and being able to hold her and kiss her. But it fucking sucks that it’s only in public.” “What about now that the movie’s finished?” “I don’t know. Maybe not filming together will make it easier to stop thinking about her…I doubt it though. It’s not like I haven’t tried already. I spent the whole of pre-production and the first weeks of filming trying to get her off my mind and I couldn’t I don’t know how and I don’t think I could unless we literally stopped talking to each other entirely and, honestly I don’t know that I could handle that. But again, we’re back at I don’t have a choice here. I have to keep seeing her and being with her and being her boyf-” A door slammed at the other end of the house, making Ben jolt. “What is it?” “Nothing, I think Y/N just went to the bathroom or something.” “She’s at your place?” “No, I locked myself out of my place. I’m at hers. I should go though, we’re halfway through an episode.” “Ben. Be careful.” “Always am.”

Ben hung up with a sigh. Joe could tell him to move on or spill the beans all he liked but it wasn’t so simple. He slapped his cheeks and shook his head to clear it, pulling a smile back onto his face as he headed back to the living room. He was a little surprised to see the room empty but settled himself on the couch once again, pulling a throw blanket over himself. It smelt like you. Without thinking he pulled up Instagram on his phone and revisited the photo. You’d commented on it, less cheesy but there were heart emojis strewn throughout. A similar sentiment to his original caption. He sighed and shook his head, clicking out of the app to find something else to read until you returned. The sound of your footsteps drew his attention. Something had changed. You looked pale and unwell. “Are you okay?” “Fine, thanks. Just tired. Might call it quits after this ep.” He didn’t think you’d drunk that much but maybe it was just starting to catch up with you now. Then again, it had been a long and emotional day. You had every right to be wiped out by it and especially now that you were home with no filming or celebrating to distract you from how exhausting it all was. He offered you a spot under the blanket in case it would make you feel better to have some human contact. Just for that reason of course, nothing to do with wanting to hold you. He shrugged it off when you refused and didn’t really think of it again until the episode ended and you went off to bed. He was still too alert to sleep himself, still dwelling on the conversation with Joe. So he flicked TV channels until he found something mildly distracting, a rerun of a dumb home renovation show that was easy to get sucked into.

When he did finally feel tired enough to go to bed he turned off the TV and the lights and began to tiptoe down the hall to his room. But there was light coming from your room. Not the yellow light of a bulb but the blue light of a phone or laptop. You were still up. Maybe you really weren’t feeling well. He wondered if he should check on you, offer to make you a tea with honey and lemon or something else comforting. Did you need tissues? A pot in case you had to throw up? Someone to hold your hair back? He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and sighed. This is exactly what you shouldn’t be thinking. He glanced at the light under your door again and then turned and continued his path up the hall. But, after that, he felt awake again. Unable to sleep. There was too much to think about. Maybe the caption on the photo had been a mistake. Maybe Joe was right and he should tell you. Maybe, maybe, maybe. When it came to you that’s all there was. A noise interrupted him, you groaning and the creak of springs as you shifted in the bed. Is she having a wank? That was his first thought. Does she need help? Was his next. Dangerous. Everything fell silent again and he realised you must have just rolled over to try and get comfortable. He didn’t know whether he was relieved or disappointed. He rolled onto his side, pulled the blanket up a little higher, willed himself to fall asleep but it was out of the question. You shifted again, your bed creaking with the movement. Maybe he should check on you, in case you were unwell. Or maybe there was something on your mind too. Maybe he could help. It was bound to be easier to solve than the mess he was in at any rate. He was on the verge of swinging his legs out of bed again when he was reminded of what Joe said about trying to forget you. He could feel that need to protect you, look after you, rising in his chest again. That wasn’t helpful, it wasn’t what he needed. He sighed and stayed in bed and listened to your tossing and turning until he finally managed to sleep himself. Only to dream of you.

                                                      ***

Ben settled the bill, walked out of the restaurant and kept walking. The entire time thinking back on the days, weeks before the fight was due to occur. Something had seemed off about you. Or maybe that was just hindsight. If he had noticed anything, if he had ever thought you seemed out of sorts, he’d put it down to stress from auditions, trying to find the next job. It wasn’t always easy lining up another project after one had finished. He understood how stressful it could be, especially for an actress like you who was on the cusp of something bigger, looking for your big break. But maybe he’d been blind. After that dinner, after everything you said, there was no denying that something more was going on.

You’d been…not your usual self. From the moment you arrived. He’d asked if you were nervous, but he hadn’t been able to see any of the usual signs. No bouncing let, no bitten lip. So nervous wasn’t it. But you weren’t happy either. He had been though, happy to see you, happy to be with you again. Even with the looming argument. Truthfully, he’d been thinking of what would happen after, when you were alone together and able to just hang out or whatever. He should have realised things were going south the moment you told him to stop looking so happy. He just kept repeating the evening over and over, rewinding and rerunning every moment as if he could figure it all out just from that. Another moment leapt to the front of his mind. “So having a public spat doesn’t bother you but you almost lost your lunch over our first date?” “That was just because the whole situation was new and I felt weird about going on a date with you.” That had hurt though he knew he shouldn’t have let it. Of course you’d have felt weird about going on a date with someone you had no interest in just for the sake of a movie. But still, it had hurt. A taste of what was to come. “Are you nervous?” You didn’t really seem to care what he said. Of course, he hadn’t given you the whole truth. It wasn’t totally dishonest to say argument scenes made him more nervous than love scenes but that was omitting bigger elements. Maybe it would have been more truthful to say the concept of a public fight wasn’t something he was particularly fond of. But at the time he’d felt like if he’d said then he’d have ended up admitting that it was especially true when you were involved. That all he wanted to do was look after you and love you, not argue in a room full of strangers just trying to enjoy a nice meal. After that he felt like he hadn’t been able to get you to say more than a few words. You who was usually so open and conversational. You who he’d spent more time with recently than just about anyone else. You who he could always talk to, joke around with. It was frustrating that you wouldn’t just tell him. He remembers feeling frustrated, of getting short with you. He regretted that. But that was when he was sure something was wrong. He might have ignored all the signs before that but as soon as he felt you had closed yourself off, he wanted to know why. Wanted to figure out what was bothering you, what could have happened. A fight with Felicity? Bad news about an audition? Maybe he’d said something offhanded and hadn’t realised he’d upset you (god if thats the case I want to know even more so I can apologise a hundred times over). He asked about it all, wanted to make things better, but then you were letting rip. Completely off book and unscripted, even when he gave you cues to get back on track. He would have been impressed with your performance except he was so taken aback by it. Without thinking he’d reached for your hand. He can see it happening in his mind, as if he were viewing the scene from above. The way you’d wrenched your hand away, leaving his sitting uselessly in the middle of the table. And all he could hear was “clingy and needy” in your voice with such…what was it, disgust? Hatred? And before he could so much as open his mouth to stop you, you were gone. That’s not what was meant to happen. You were meant to leave together and laugh about it afterwards. He wasn’t meant to be walking through London on his own, trying to figure out what went wrong.

It was then that Ben looked up and realised he didn’t know where he’d walked to. He considered stepping into a bar with all the noise to drown out your voice, all the alcohol he could handle to make him forget. Clingy and needy. But he thought better of it and turned to hail a cab instead. What he couldn’t stop himself from doing was calling you, though he was left disappointed when it went straight to voicemail. He listened for the beep as if he were going to leave a message but when the beep came he didn’t know what to say. What could he possibly say? What changed? Am I really so clingy? What can I do? Closer to home he tried again but the same thing happened. He hung up before the beep.

As he was letting himself inside his phone rang and for the length of a heartbeat he thought it was you. But it wasn’t. It was just Peter telling him that the video had gone live, congratulating you both for putting on such a good show, being so convincing. He ran through some early statistics, something about how many times it had been shared already, and then followed it by saying they wanted separation for a few weeks, until the make up dinner. Ben listened in a daze. When Peter finally hung up Ben opened twitter. The video was easy to find. He put his phone down on the kitchen bench and moved to pour himself a drink. Maybe he didn’t have quite as much alcohol as a bar, but he had enough to do the trick. His phone was staring at him the entire time. He shook his head, moved the phone to his pocket and headed to his bedroom. His guitar was there, the perfect way to clear his head. He picked it up, sat on the end of the bed and, without thinking, he played the opening chords of that song. Your song. With a slight clatter as his hands knocked the wood, he let the guitar drop back to the bed, trying to dig his phone out of his pocket. The video was still there, waiting for him. Proof. It wasn’t a nightmare, it wasn’t made up. He couldn’t see your face from the angle it was taken. But he could see the tension in your shoulders, the way you pulled your hand back as if you couldn’t think of anything worse than having him touch you. And he could hear you. Clingy and needy.

Ben watched it just the once, unable to suffer through it again. It wass already playing on a loop in his head, he didn’t really need the visual reminder. And then he called Joe. There wasn’t really much else he could do. No one else he could talk to about it. Joe had seen it, had watched it, and he commented on how good it looked, how real it seemed. “I think that’s because it was. Y/N went completely off book. We didn’t plan it to be like that,” “Is that why you look so shocked?” “Yeah, guess so.” Ben gulped down a mouthful of his drink and wished he’d brought the bottle with him. “I’m trying very hard not to call her something beginning with B right now,” “Joe she’s not a bitch, she’s…I don’t know. Something must have happened, I just don’t know what. “Maybe she’s starting to crack? Pressure of keeping up a fake relationship is getting to her,” “Can you try not to sound too excited by the idea. I’d remind you I do actually love her and if things work out between us I’d like for you to meet her.” “You can’t blame me for disliking her when I get a call from you every other day telling me she’s broken your heart again,” “You’re such a drama queen,” “Fine, I’ll try to keep my dislike to a minimum. But could it be that? I know she doesn’t have the same baggage as you but it’s probably not easy for her either,” “She called me clingy. Needy. Why would she say that?” “Because she’s a bitch.” “Bloody hell Joe,” “Unless…” “Unless what?” “Is there any chance she knows?” “You mean about me? Come off it, absolutely not. It’s not like I tell everyone I meet about it. You’re the only person who knows.” “Alright, then it must be something else.” “What do I do? I can’t,” Ben sighed, “It was meant to be different. We were going to have words at the restaurant and then go home together looking tense and then laugh about it when we were alone but instead…instead I’m home alone with half a bottle of whisky and a fake girlfriend who won’t answer my calls. What the fuck am I meant to do with that?” “Just give her some space Ben. You don’t know it was you. It could have been any number of things. It might just be that she was having a bad day and because you were already set to have the spat, you caught the brunt of her frustration. She’ll call in a day or two, embarrassed and apologising and you can go back to pining in peace. Out of curiosity, what was the fight originally going to be like?” “Oh, um…We’d decided that I was going to suggest she meet my family and she was going to say she wasn’t ready for that and it was all getting too serious or something like that.” “Well, that’s pretty much what she actually said isn’t it?” Ben thought for a moment. He’d been so wrapped up in her description of him, he’d not really thought about the overall message of her monologue, “Yeah, I suppose it is.” “See, she wasn’t as off script as you thought. She just jumped the gun a bit and took you by surprise. I’d guarantee that it’s something else entirely and you just happened to be the unlucky outlet for her anger.” “Maybe you’re right. She did say that thing about pretending everything was okay and acting like we’re serious….how I love her more than she loves me,” “And you’re certain she doesn’t know,” “100 per cent. She’s never had the chance to find out,” “Then of course I’m right, it was just an issue of timing and you being in the line of fire,” “Maybe I should see her,” “No! Bad idea Ben. Really bad idea.” “I just want to be sure it wasn’t my fault. If I’d been less wrapped up in pretending she was my girlfriend then may-” “Stop beating yourself up. Just try not to drink too much and get some sleep. She’ll sort herself out and call when she’s less mortified by the whole thing.” “Okay, yeah,” “And for fucks sake, stay off twitter,” Ben hung up, feeling marginally better but unable to shake the feeling that it was somehow his fault. Clingy and needy. Clingy and needy. Clingy. And needy. The way you’d spat the words at him. The way you’d stormed out. He sighed, slumped forward, and ran his hands down his face. No, Joe’s right, it’s not you. But, as much as he repeated it, Ben still found tears clinging to his palms as he pulled them away.

                                                      ***

Ben looked at his phone and bit his lip. His eyes shifted back to the ocean of brake lights ahead of the car and then back to his phone. He was already running late and the traffic didn’t seem to be moving. God he did not want to be late. Not after everything that had happened. Not after you’d cleared up the mess from the fight, not after he’d made such an effort to be less clingy, to give you more space. Things weren’t back to normal by any stretch but at least you were talking again, at least you’d missed him. The conversation you’d had the previous night, staying on the phone to watch TV. He’d been surprised by your suggestion but equally as thrilled. It had to be a sign that you felt something too. People don’t just watch episodes of TV over the phone for anyone, do they? He was in with a chance, he knew it. But, in the hours after the episode had ended and the call with it, he’d come to one conclusion. He had to tell you. He had to bite the bullet and tell you. If he wanted something real with you, you had to know. And if he kept it secret any longer it could lead to more arguments which he definitely did not want. What he wanted was for you to understand why he’d become so attached, and hopefully, to reciprocate. So he was going to tell you. And he couldn’t be late.

As the car inched forward Ben made up his mind. He was going to be there on time, one way or another. With a thankful word to the driver he got out of the car and hurried onto the pavement, beginning to walk towards the restaurant. He’d spent all day feeling like he was about to have a heart attack, chest aching with how badly he wanted to see you and how nervous he was about your reaction. He wasn’t going to fuck up now. As he walked a display in a shop window caught his eye and he quickly stepped inside. The bell tinkled as he entered, getting the assistant’s attention. She gave him a up and down glance as she greeted him, as if trying to determine the occasion based on his outfit alone. “Welcome to Coming Up Roses, what can I do for you?” “I need a bouquet,” “I can certainly help with that. Any flowers you had in mind?” “Uhhh not really. Spur of the moment,” “Well what’s the occasion then? I have flowers for everything from weddings to funerals, I’m sorry to Congratulations,” “Um, I’m about to tell the girl of my dreams that I’m in love with her,” The woman smiled, “I’ve got just the thing,”

A minute later and Ben was once again hurrying up the street, clutching the freshly wrapped bouquet, his heart pounding as he tried not to worry about how much time was passing. He had to pause at one point to get a map up on his phone, unsure of the restaurant’s exact location. He was further away than he thought and quickened his step, threading through groups of people on nights out, trying not to bump into anyone. You were already there, waiting. He could see you from half a street away and ran to meet you, kissing your cheek and handing over the bouquet before he really registered that that’s what he was doing. It was only as you were smelling the flowers and complementing them that he realised you were there, actually there, and he suddenly felt extra nervous about it all. “I saw it in the shop and, um yeah, I don’t know, they seemed nice, a-and I know you, um, like nice things, so,” Ben wanted to die, wanted to be sucked into a hole in the ground, sent through a time warp, anything to not be there babbling at you like a fucking idiot. “It’s very sweet of you, thank you,” “I’m glad you think so because right now it feels kinda cliché and cheesy.” Shut up “Now you have to carry them around all night,” fucking shut up, “what was I thinking?” for the love of all that is holy, “And god can I just shut up. Sorry.” He didn’t know what had come over him, but he wished it would go away. And things only got worse as he looked you over, took in your whole appearance. Seeing you just made him want you even more, especially with how gorgeous you looked. He wanted to kiss you, tell you. But he had to be able to speak to tell you and he wasn’t going to be able to do that until he relaxed a little. A drink, that’s what he needed. He downed his first one fast, willing it to work its magic. It did help calm him, though your laugh just made his heart race again. Halfway through the next glass he felt like he could say it and was on the verge of just getting it out into the open when you were interrupted, shown to your table. He took it as a sign that it would be bad timing and that he needed to wait. Instead he focused on just having a good night with you. The memory of your last dinner was still in the back of his mind but he pushed it away by reminding himself that things were better now. He felt himself relax more as you talked and with every touch you gave him. The drinks were definitely part of it too but he put it down to you mostly. How much you sooth him, how happy he finds himself when he’s in your presence. He could breathe properly again. You startled him a little by saying Joe would want to meet you but of course, you don’t know that he knows that it’s all a big production so you just meant it in a friend-being-curious-about-the-girlfriend type way. Very far from the truth. But Ben agrees and changes the topic.

When dessert arrived, he thought maybe that could be a good time to say it because it’s the end of the meal and you can leave quickly if you need to. But before he get’s to it he finds himself asking something else instead. “Can I ask about these last couple of weeks?” He hoped he hadn’t wrecked the evening by bringing it up but he was curious too, “Was it good? The space, did you get what you wanted from it?” Ben worried at his lip as he watched you slowly finish your mouthful and set the spoon down. “Yes. I’m not going to lie and say it wasn’t helpful because it really was. Just, having that break from everything. I think I really needed it. But I really really missed you too.” That was a relief. Proof that you were on the same page again, back to normal. And proof that you did care about him. “I’m glad. It was hard not seeing you but yeah, helped me figure some stuff out too. Confirmed some other stuff.” “Like what? If you don’t mind me asking.” This is it, this is your moment, “Like, um,” He wanted to say it, had the words picked out already but, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t risk driving you away again, causing another scene. Maybe he could say it back at his place, away from the cameras and the interested public. Maybe that would be smarter. All the same, he felt disappointed with himself for not having the guts to just tell you, and to try to cover the moment asked if you wanted to leave. As you step outside he remembers the kiss that was expected and he leans in to remind you. It’s more than a kiss though, different to all the other times you’d kissed. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to it. Any excuse really. And he says as much when he, somewhat accidentally admits to having missed kissing you. It was a thought that somehow slipped out of his mouth, but either you didn’t hear him or you were too caught up in the moment to say anything. Or she feels the same. He pushed the hopeful thought down as you kissed him back. His heart pounded as he felt your hands on his chest, as if it were trying to tell you what he’d been too much of a coward to say. And then you whined and settled on his lap and god what a fucking gorgeous sound. He’d spent months getting off to the memory of a hum and now you were gifting him a whine? An eager, excited whine at that. The sort of thing he’d been trying to imagine and it was so much better than anything he’d come up with. Your hand was in his hair and he very nearly echoed your noise back to you from that alone, but it caught in his throat as you kept kissing him, tongues twisting, your chest pressed against his. He wanted to hold you close and touch every part of you he could reach all at once, unsure of whether to grab your arse or you hip or the back of your neck. So he did a bit of it all, slid his hand along your arm and then down your back and then to your arse. And all too soon it stops. He could have cursed that driver and the heartless car horn that interrupted and sent reality crashing back down around him.

Once you were inside the safe zone of his house, away from the act, he expected things to go back to normal. You’d take off your makeup and then make a cup of tea and fill a glass of water for your flowers and you’d wind down with something on TV before you both went to bed. He’d have to have a shower to get off without you suspecting anything because there was no way he was going to be able to sleep with the memory of your tits pressed against him and your whine and your kiss swimming around his head. But you don’t walk to the bathroom like you normally do. He pulls the wallet from his pocket, places it deliberately next to his keys. But you still haven’t moved. He turns slowly, notices the way you swallow and lick your lips and he swears he’s on the verge of asking what you’re doing or saying something about it being a mistake, at least the thought crosses his mind, but you were standing so close (when did she get so close?) and when you kiss him again he just kisses back.

It’s a mistake probably, definitely, he knows that. He can hear the siren in his head again telling him to stop, pull away. But the problem is that it doesn’t feel like a mistake, doesn’t feel like it should be, and when he takes a step back you step with him and again and again until he’s somehow on the couch with you on his lap again. And why would he stop that, why would he say no to you when you fit there so perfectly and you feel so good? And all he can think about is that whine and that hum from all those months ago and he wants to see what other sounds he can pull from you so he drops his lips to your neck. “Wait, wait,” He’s confused as to why you’re stopping him and even more confused when you’re not in his arms anymore. “It’s rule one Ben,” Bugger rule one. Bugger all the fucking rules, you’ve broken most of them tonight anyway if they weren’t already broken. A voice in the back of his head reminds him what a big mistake that would be, but it can’t argue against making out. Making out isn’t against the rules and you know it too, you hesitate when he says it out loud. “I’d be good to you Y/N, you know I would,” he’s not sure if he’s talking about here and now, physically, or something deeper, something in the realm of boyfriend but what does it matter because both are true. You shake your head, “You know this isn’t real, right Ben?” And then it all comes out. That you knew about his crush. And everything stops. Just stops. He can’t breathe, air doesn’t exist anymore, and he’d say his heart had stopped too except he can hear it pounding in his ears, drowning out whatever you’re saying. You knew? You’d known for months? All those times Joe had suggested it, all that time he spent worrying about keeping it from you and you already fucking knew? And then everything seems to speed up all at once. The air rushes back, as loud as his heart, which only doubles it’s pounding until he can feel it trying to punch a hole through his chest and escape. Rational thought returns, connecting dots and drawing conclusions almost faster than he can keep up. “Is that why you were upset before the argument? Is that why you didn’t want to see me for the last two weeks?” “I thought some space might help you stop feeling that way.” He has to laugh at how fucking ridiculous an idea that is. That space would have ever helped him purge you from his system. Love isn’t that easy to get rid of. And his tongue must have sped up with the rest of his body because he’s saying it, the thing he’s been putting of saying, the thing he’s been wanting to tell you all night, and he wishes he could stop because this isn’t how he wanted it to go. This wasn’t how you were meant to find out. But no matter how much he screams at himself he can’t take it back. It’s out there. And you look horrified. “You love me?” Three words have never been spoken with more contempt than you managed to cram into that once sentence. “You don’t have to say you don’t feel the same, I know.” Your silence cuts through him like a knife, shredding what little hope remained. His heart isn’t beating against his chest anymore. It’s been kicked across the room and lies lifeless against the wall.  “That’s what I thought.”

He can’t be here anymore, can’t look at you. He wants to leave but he remembers all the cameras outside, reminds you of their presence in case you’re planning the same escape he is. He’s trapped there and so are you. So he puts as much space between you as he can, heads to his room and slumps heavily onto the end of his bed. All he can think about is those three words, you love me? Not a hopeful question. Not even stunned surprise.  More of an accusation. He tastes blood but otherwise barely notices when he tears his lip with his teeth. You must hate him for getting you both into this mess. He hates that he’s done it, that he’s put you in this position. And he knows you’re never going to want to speak with him let alone see him again. And he knows that as soon as the cameras leave, you’ll leave too. And that thought hurts just as much as everything else. You’re moving about, he can hear you walking around. It sounds like you’re pacing. Five steps and then a turn and then five more steps, another turn. Something about the rhythm breaks through his overactive, panicking, worrying mind. Something about it calms him. Maybe it’s that knowing you’re restless and agitated makes him want to comfort you, despite everything he’s feeling. Or maybe it’s just because the sound of your footfall means you’re still here. And if you’re still here then maybe he can smooth things over. He doesn’t expect to fix everything. He’d understand if you still wanted to erase him from your contacts and pretend you were only ever colleagues. But if he can just explain himself, explain that he never meant for this to happen, explain why he kept it from you or tried to anyway and maybe explain what he’d wanted tonight to be instead of the clusterfuck it’d become. If he can get any of that out then maybe you won’t hate him quite so much.

He says your name softly, not sure he’s allowed to say your name, “I heard you pacing.” “Sorry, I’ll keep the noise down.” “No, that’s not- it’s okay. I just thought, since we’re both clearly awake and since they haven’t left yet, I thought you might like a cuppa.” “I didn’t think you drank tea,” Have you really not noticed yet? He never bought tea bags, until you started coming to stay over regularly. Twice you opined about not being able to have a cup of tea before bed and that was all it took for him to start keeping them in his cupboard along with the biscuits you prefer. That’s how he knows it’s love. He took a breath as he pulled out mugs and stuck the kettle on, resolutely not looking at you. If he looks at you he’ll spill his guts and won’t be able to stop. He has to make tea first. Just the way you like it. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.” It comes out the second he looks at your face and it’s only that you’re telling him you understand that he doesn’t immediately say more. He drops his eyes to the brown liquid in his mug, undrinkable in his opinion, but a perfectly adequate distraction. He needs to get the words right this time. No stumbling and stuttering, no blurting things out without thinking. He needs to say it right so you’ll listen and understand what he’s trying to do. “I promise I understand where you’re at and I’m not going to try and convince you or to chase you or anything like that. I really am trying not to feel this way.” He glances back at your eyes, terrified of what he’d see there. “It’s okay Ben, I know you wouldn’t. I just wasn’t expecting you to drop the L bomb.” “Please don’t hate me,” it’s a whisper compared to everything else he’s said but there’s no way to make his voice stronger. It’s the thing he’s most worried about and admitting it out loud to you is harder than he imagined it would be. “I could never,” the sincerity with which you say it is almost enough to make him cry but the hug is what pushes him over the edge. It’s more warmth and kindness than he thinks he deserves after everything he’s done. And it’s exactly what he needed. Comfort and reassurance in one simple gesture. He wraps his arms around you for the third time that night, his face pressed into the cook of your neck, and you let him, squeezing back, as he lets everything out.

                                                        ***

The night after you met Joe, Ben visits him again, this time without you. It had always been the plan, to see Joe a few times, as much as the press circuit would allow, while he was in the US. But after the previous night it’s more necessary. And yet, Ben was struggling to vocalise any of his questions. It’s not until after dinner, when Joe suggests they take their drinks out onto the veranda, that any of it comes up. It’s peaceful out there, sitting in the cool night air, each of them taking turns to swig from their beer bottle as they talk. But Ben’s mind is constantly disrupted with thoughts of you. It’s the first time since all the promotion stuff started that he’s had more than a couple of minutes away from your side. Joe isn’t helping, constantly glancing at Ben, frowning, as if he’s trying to work something out. But he’s the first to crack, making it easier for Ben to talk. “How’s it going?” “Press is fine, bit boring. You know how repetitive it can get,” “And you know that’s not what I meant,” “Yeah. Nah, everything’s fine. Mostly,” “Mostly?” “It’s not easy having to share a room with her. I mean, it’s fun though. I’m glad she’s the one I’m doing all this shit with. We’re mates and we’ve been working so closely for so long now that we…get each other. Like there was this interview where one of the questions made me uncomfortable and she knew straight away and broke in to take some of the heat. She just says whatever she can to make me laugh or ease the tension or whatever will help. And I know when she’s getting nervous and needs a break or a fresh cuppa. But when it’s just us in our suite it’s…hard. I don’t know, I’m just trying to keep some distance even though there’s not much to be had. What did you think of her?” “Honestly?” “Of course,” “She’s perfect for you. Except for the not being interested part.” Ben nodded, letting his eyes fall to where his fingernail was digging into the label on his bottle. “Although…” “What?” Ben looked back at Joe, “You think she might be?” “I don’t know. And I don’t want to get your hopes up. She certainly doesn’t think she is. I asked her about it while you were out here last night and she was adamant that she doesn’t think of you that way but that’s not how it looked to me.” “We had a moment yesterday. Just before we came here. Nearly kissed.” “Seriously? Again?” “I stopped it. Kind of wish I hadn’t. Maybe if something happened, she’d change her mind,” “I know I’m not part of this situation and I wasn’t there and can only go off of what you’ve said and the one time I’ve met her but, for what it’s worth, I think you made the right call.” “Yeah?” “I don’t think you want anything to happen with her until you’re both more sure where you stand. Definitely not while you’re stuck sharing a hotel room.” “But what if -” Joe shook his head, “I watched her last night. She looked at you a lot and not just because you were the one talking. She also smiled a lot whenever your attention was on her. I was half expecting her to say she had a thing for you but wasn’t sure if she should tell you or something like that. So I think there is a good chance she is attracted to you but for some reason, doesn’t want to admit it and I think sleeping with her would just make things more complicated and worse for both of you. You said she had her little freak out thing when you were hooking up after that date. You don’t want to let things get further and have her freak out again.” “Yeah, you’re right. I’m just confusing myself because we’ve been in such close quarters. I just wish things were more certain y’know? Like, she keeps saying she doesn’t like me as more than a friend but then we’ll have a moment like we did in the hotel, or like on the plane when she was leaning on my shoulder to help with my crossword puzzle, or when we fucking made out. And then I’m back getting my hopes up only for her to turn around and crush me again. And it’s probably nothing anyway. Just pent up urges since we’ve been fucking trapped in this for months now.” “I don’t know man, it might be more than that. She seemed really into you last night.” “Nah. She’s horny and I’m there and that’s why we’ve had these near kisses and stuff. She’s said she doesn’t like me so that’s it. Maybe it’s better that way anyway.” Joe shook his head again but let the subject drop, “So how long are you here for again? There’s this restaurant up the road I should take you to.”

                                                      ***

The closer he got to his parent’s place the more tightly wound Ben felt. Bringing a girl home to meet the family was always at least a little nerve wracking – wondering whether they’d like her, whether she’d like them, how many embarrassing stories he’d have to sit through. But he could safely say that with you it was worse than with anyone else. There was so much history with you, despite never having legitimately dated, that he couldn’t stop thinking about. You meant so much to him. And he knew his mum was going to love you (how could she not) and that meant he was going to be asked why it took him so long to bring you around and about where it was headed and they were questions he didn’t really feel up to answering. Of course, on top of all of that, there was the prospect of sharing a room with you, maybe a bed. You hadn’t entirely worked out the arrangement and not knowing was just making him more nervous. Not just for himself either, for you as well. If he was nervous he could only imagine you were too. You were going to be facing questions as well, judgement from a new family. A family you didn’t even want to be part of. So he kept close to you all night. Because it’s easier to pretend to be a couple when you’re by his side and it’s easier to avoid tough conversations when he has the excuse of introducing you to someone else up his sleeve. And it’s so much easier to keep his folks away from you when he’s got your hand in his. He does circuits of the garden with you, chats to everyone with you, repeating the story of how you met and the fiction of how you started dating. And the whole time he’s trying to make sure you’re comfortable and enjoying yourself at least a little because you don’t even have actual feelings for him to push you on. He’d gladly endure first meetings with every single member of your family tree if you asked but he knows you’re only there because you have to be. Unfortunately, he’s also had a bit to drink so eventually he has to relieve himself, silently cursing his bladder because it means he has to leave you on your own. You don’t seem to mind too much. If anything, it feels like you’ve found your feet and are actually having a good night which he’s glad for. But he still goes as quick as he can.

He’s on his way back when he sees you and instantly realises something’s wrong. Your leg is bouncing so rapidly it’s a wonder you don’t knock the underside of the table, and you’re looking around as if you’re trying to find him. His first thought is that someone has said something inappropriate. There’s plenty of drunk cousins around and who knows what one of them might have said or done in a misguided attempt to be charming or impressive or flirtatious. But then he realises who you’re sitting next to and his stomach drops. So he hurries over to the table and takes the seat beside you, laying his hand on your knee to try to calm you. It works well enough for you to be able to sit there a little longer until he can find a reasonable excuse to leave the table and his mum. He’s not in the mood to be at the party anymore and leads you to the exit, politely waving off anyone who tries to convince you both to stay a little longer. “Better?” he asks once you’re outside, relieved when you say yes. “She mentioned us getting married,” “What? Why the fuck would that have come up?” Ben couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He’d been prepared for a lot but not that. “It was just a passing comment but I….” “It’s okay, c’mon, let’s go home you can tell me everything.” Without thinking he pulled you into a hug, breathing out when he felt you lean into him.

By the time he got back to the house Ben wanted another drink. You’d sat under his arm the entire ride back, keeping quiet, obviously lost in thought as you absentmindedly played with his fingers. Every brush had made him want to take your hand properly and tilt your head up to kiss you, irresponsible and selfish as it might be. One of the upsides of being back home was knowing where his parents hid their best booze, so he dug out a bottle of his dad’s Johnnie Walker, feeling a little like a teenager again, pinching a drink to impress a girl. You laughed though so he counted it as a win. But the reason you were alone together, no longer at the party, was still weighing on him and clearly on you as well. “So what happened back there?” He handed you a glass and waited until you felt you could speak. “I guess it was just harder to be around your family than I was expecting.” Everything you said made sense he supposed. He’d not really considered it that way because he wasn’t so much lying as just playing pretend. But, as much as he wished you were on the same page, he understood where your guilt came from. He tried to make you laugh again but when it didn’t work he set his glass down and took your hand. “Seriously, Y/N, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. The premiere is coming up in a couple of weeks and then pretty soon after that we’ll break up and I’ll tell them it just wasn’t working. They’ll accept it and never have to know the truth. And then we can forget this whole thing and move on.” His chest tightened at the thought of it, not being allowed to even pretend to have you anymore but he clamped down on it for your sake. “But it must be hard for you too. Having me here and everything,” He half shrugged, looking down at where his thumb was brushing the back of your hand softly, “I’m a big boy, I can handle it.” Ben glanced back at you, about to tell you it was sweet of you to care about how he was doing, but when he saw your expression he stopped.

He was a little shocked by the kiss, stumbling back a step or two, the warning siren blaring in his head again. Everything told him to run away and yet his feet were frozen in place. Joe had been right when he said he shouldn’t do this, and he’d been here before. It hadn’t gone well then so what made him think it would be better this time? But somehow he can’t find the words and you kiss him again and he decides he’s going to let it happen. He’s sick of trying to fight how badly he wants you and you clearly want this too. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be trying to undress him. He decides he’s going to let himself be selfish for once and just go with it. After the decisions made it all turns into a bit of a blur really. You’re leaning against the table and then he’s carrying you up to his room and it’s like every almost kiss, every missed opportunity and pent up moment you’d never let yourselves have is breaking all at once. You’re on his bed now and god he’s wanted you like this for so fucking long and who cares if it’s wrong. One night won’t matter. And he’s surprised by how wet you are when you pull his hand towards your cunt but he loves that you’re taking the initiative and that you clearly want him just as much as he wants you. You don’t tell him to stop. You tell him how to touch you, what feels good, and he loves that about you too. Even more than he loves how you sound saying his name as you clench on his fingers and shiver through your orgasm and fuck, he thought the whine from last time was a captivating sound but it has nothing on this, on how you sound when you cum for him. He’s going to be thinking about that moment, about you saying his name like that forever. He wants to be inside you, wants to hear it again, wants to make you feel even better and he’s forgotten where you are and how you got there so he leans over and realises this isn’t this room. This room isn’t as prepared as he’d like. For a moment he thinks that’s it and maybe it’s for the best except then you say you have condoms as you get up and rummage through your bags. He wants to know why – were you planning this or are you always just prepared like that? – except then you’re coming back towards him and he really doesn’t care why, just that you do. You climb on top of him and he feels breathless at the sight. He wants to worship you, every inch of you, and he wants to be as close as possible, pushing himself up to kiss you again because he loves you. He says it without meaning to but he doesn’t care, he’s just trying to get you to moan his name again, rubbing your clit until you’re both finished, breathing hard against each other. You’re kissing along his jaw and he wants to stay like that forever, blissed out and tangled in each other’s embrace. But reality rushes back, ignoring how desperately he’s trying to cling to the moment, and he realises how messy everything suddenly is. It hurts too. Knowing it’s not real, knowing that you don’t want what he wants. He remembers what he said just moments before, that confession whispered against your lips, and it makes him feel queasy with embarrassment on top of the heartache that’s already setting in. How many times does he have to put himself through this pain before he gets it through his head? It’s not reciprocated. It never will be. “I’ve gotta…” Ben nods his head in the direction of the door, hoping you’ll fill in the blank yourself. He wants to leave but he also wants to stay there with you, so he settles on shifting out of your reach and looking over at you, not quite able to meet your eye. “I wasn’t expecting that to happen,” Weren’t you? “Neither. Are you okay?” “Yeah. I, um, it was really good and I-I think I kind of needed it.” Ben tried to smile but it didn’t feel like it worked properly. Sure you needed it. A quick fuck to break the forced dry spell. He wanted to run from the room, flee the scene “It was good for me too. Really good. But it can’t ever happen again.” He averted his eyes again, focused on slipping back into his underwear. There was half a second where he looked around for his shirt before realising it was out at the table with the unfinished whiskies. He’d have to tidy up so no one would be able to work out what happened.

Ben downed what remained of both drinks, the burn of the alcohol a welcome distraction, though much too brief. He grabs his phone from the table, drops the glasses onto the kitchen sink and heads outside to throw the used condom into the garbage bin. As if he was going to leave the evidence of his cowardice and misjudgement inside for anyone to find. Ben turned to head back towards the door, but he didn’t want to walk through it. Inside he’d have to face you and he wasn’t sure how to do that yet. Instead he walked down the sideway into the backyard, taking a seat on the retaining wall by the flower bed of peonies. It’s not exactly warm sitting there in just his boxers and his fingers shake a little as he unconsciously find’s Joe’s name in his contacts. Joe must be busy or asleep or something (What’s the time difference again?) because he doesn’t pick up. Instead the call goes to voicemail. “Joe, it’s Ben here. Um… you’re gonna laugh so hard when you hear how fucking stupid I am,” Ben forces a laugh himself, “So I, uh, I just told Y/N that I love her….again….while we were having sex.” A pause as it sank in, “I’m not even sure how it…how we got to… We were just talking and then we were in bed and…. But it’s okay because I told her it could never happen again,” Ben thinks of how affectionate you’d been after, kissing his jaw and his nose, clinging to him, but it wasn’t real, it was just your post-sex, post-orgasm mood. He starts to laugh, less false but not entirely natural either, “I have to drive back with her tomorrow. Christ. Talk about bad timing, huh. But it’s fine though, it’s fine, totally fine. Joe, it’s fine. Because it wasn’t real. We’ve both been pent up and she spent all day with my family and had to listen to my mum talk about us maybe getting married. This was her reward. And that’s all it was. And I’m the idiot for hoping it could ever be more than that. I mean it’s not like friends don’t sometimes fuck, right? Especially when they’ve been drinking and pretending to date. Sex doesn’t have to mean feelings and it doesn’t for her and that’s fine.” There was that tight feeling in his chest again. Ben cleared his throat. “The drive will give me a chance to tell her it was a mistake. Because it was. This whole thing was a mistake. It was a mistake to fuck her and it was a mistake to bring her to meet my family and it was a mistake to pretend to date her and the biggest mistake of all of them was falling for her. And I haven’t been doing enough to reverse that. I know I said I have been, but I haven’t. I got caught up in the maybes and what ifs and I didn’t really try to move on. But now I…. It’s gotta fucking end sometime. I can’t keep doing this. So I’ve got to tell her it was a mistake and I don’t love her. Maybe I never did. Maybe I’m the same as her and it was all just because I was horny. Whatever. Now I can move on with my life. She doesn’t love me and I don’t love her and she’ll just be some bitch I nailed and we’ll both be happy, right?” Ben sighed and swiped at his blurry eyes. He’s not sure if the voicemail cut out midway through his thought process but it probably doesn’t matter. Movement from upstairs catches his eye. You in his old bedroom, getting dressed and leaving the room. He’s a little worried that if he heads back inside now he’ll bump into you on your way to get a drink from the kitchen but he can’t sit outside in the chill air all night. He takes a breath and swipes his knuckle over his eyes again before heading back inside, creeping towards the bedroom. You weren’t anywhere to be seen, though he guesses that means you’re in the bathroom. When he reached the bedroom again, he dug into the closet and pulled out a number of spare blankets, stealing a pillow from the bed. It’s not a particularly comfortable nest that he makes but it’s warm and doesn’t smell as much like you as the bed does. The pillow still holds a trace of you, but he flips it over and the scent is gone. He’s there when you get back, already pretending to sleep, curled in on himself facing away from you. “Ben?” He squeezes his eyes tighter shut, listening as you flick off the light and tiptoe back towards the bed. There’s a creak of springs as you get comfortable and then another as you move again. “Ben?” Your voice sounds even softer that time and Ben is tempted to answer but he bites his tongue. “Ben I-I…. Goodnight.” There’s another creak as you settle back down again. Ben lies perfectly still until he’s sure you aren’t going to move again. He doesn’t want to hear whatever you’re trying to say. It’ll just be everything he already knows. So he keeps quiet and feigns sleep in the hopes that real sleep will bring it’s respite sooner rather than later.

                                                      ***

Ben’s phone rang and he admonished himself for hoping it was you. He was meant to be getting over you. Besides, the hope was misplaced. It was his mum. “How did Y/N’s audition go?” “Uh,” It took him a moment to remember the excuse he’d made up, “yeah, well I think.” “She’s lovely, Ben. I’m glad you finally let us meet her,” “Yeah,” He didn’t know how else to respond but his mother didn’t need much more encouragement than that. “You should bring her back soon, I’d love to have more of a chance to get to know her. It was a bit hard with so many people there.” “Yeah, um, I’d have to check when we’re free.” He said, dragging his fingers through his hair. “I’m sure you could find one night for us,” “Yeah. But there’s the premier coming soon and we’ve both got auditions and meetings lined up so I don’t know for sure. But let me talk to Y/N and we’ll find a day that works.” “Maybe a weekend? You could stay for a couple of days then, wouldn’t have to rush off.” “We’ll see. Depends.” “Don’t leave it too long honey,” “I won’t mum. Sorry, I’ve got to run, expecting a call back about something.” “Alright, love you,” “Love you too mum,” Ben threw his phone to the other side of the couch and sighed. He’d been expecting that call but that didn’t make it any easier to get through. Not when he’d spent the last few days thinking about that night and everything that had happened. The way your lips felt on his, the way you’d looked sitting on his lap, the way you’d sounded when you came. He shook his head as if he were an etch-a-sketch but the thoughts didn’t disappear, they just morphed into thoughts of later, in the car on the way home. How you’d nodded when he’d said he didn’t love you, clearly overjoyed with the news but trying not to show it.

 Ben hadn’t gone cold turkey with you, there was still some contact, but he refrained from anything too unnecessary, spent as much time as he could with his other friends, and tried to keep any replies to you as simple as possible. Unfortunately his parents was less restrained. A few days later his mum called again, checking if he’d had a chance to invite you over yet. The day after he received a message from his dad suggesting he come down for lunch on the weekend (and encouraging him to bring you along), and then a couple days after that there was another call, one which he ignored. Every time he was thrown back to that night. But not even ignoring the calls helped. It just left him dwelling on everything and it didn’t even deter them. When next his mum called he found himself in yet another conversation on the topic and only just managed to stop himself from hanging up in her ear. He couldn’t do it anymore. It was pointless, all of it. The part of him that had thought you’d fall for him if you slept together had been proven wrong so there was nothing left to hope for. But with his family and friends thinking you were dating, always asking after you, and with you texting him memes and requesting his help, how was he meant to move on? What he needed was a clean break. But the breakup wasn’t scheduled until after the premiere and it wasn’t like a date had been set, it was up to the studio or your agents or someone else. And Ben wasn’t sure how he’d be able to wait it out that long.

 A breakthrough came in an email from Peter, an update about the movie Ben had signed on for. Originally it was meant to film in England, but those plans were in the process of changing. Part of it would still be done around London but now it seemed a big portion of the filming would happen in Spain too. Peter seemed unsure as to how this change would clash with the plans for the breakup but Ben saw it as the opportunity he needed. He wouldn’t be leaving until after the premiere anyway so it wouldn’t change your last public appearance together, but it would also work as the clean break he’d been looking for. Plus, as he reasoned to Peter, they could use the distance as an excuse for why the breakup happened. Peter seemed to like the idea and agreed that the change of location wouldn’t affect anything enough to make Ben drop out. Ben was relieved, having been excited about the project since he first picked up the script, and began looking forward to getting away from you properly. Being in a completely different country would give him the time and space he needed to stop thinking about you. It would be easy to sever all ties to you and get on a plane and move on, maybe meet someone who could drive you from his mind. He’d have to break up with you though, not just through the press but as a friend too. He couldn’t have you texting him while he was away or commenting on photos he posted online. It had to be complete. He had to remove you from his life entirely. After the premiere would be a good time to tell you. He’d pull you aside at the party or maybe tell you in the limo on the way home. It’d be hard to explain but you’d understand. She’s probably been wondering how to get rid of you anyway. Surely, you’d be pleased to hear he was going to leave you alone, not bother you with his stupid feelings anymore. You’d agree it was for the best.

                                                      ***

The night of the premiere snuck up on Ben. He’d been distracted with warding off his parents every invitation, on top of sorting out everything for his trip to Spain. Before he knew it the night had arrived making him feel equal parts excited about seeing the final product of what he’d spent so many months working on and anxious about seeing you. All he could think about was what he was going to say to you. He felt bad about cutting you from his life but there was relief too, knowing it’d be over soon. As he dressed in the suit his stylist had picked out he went over the speech he’d mentally written. It’s just a breakup, you’ve done it before. Tell her you’re sorry but you can’t see her anymore. That’s all you have to do. So, it was with this confusing mixture of emotions that he got into the limo and he only felt more ill at ease as he approached your place to pick you up. “You look lovely,” he said as you climbed into the car beside him. It came out more robotic than he meant it to. But there was a sense that this was the last time he’d be allowed to properly look at you so, while you were getting settled and taking in the interior of the limousine, he allowed himself a final chance to look you over. A hundred other adjectives to describe how beautiful you were, all dressed up and glowing, popped into his head but he kept those to himself. He couldn’t second guess his decision now. It was the only way to stop caring about you. And yet, he could feel his resolve crumbling just from being near you for the first time in weeks. No. Don’t let her get to you. This is why you can’t be in contact. Ben felt his hand curl into a fist as he reminded himself how useful the space would be. What he needed was some rules, guidelines to follow to help him stick to his plan. He ignored the irony as he came up with them. No holding hands. Actually, make that no physical contact. No voluntary physical contact anyway. He was bound to be asked by someone to take a photo with you or appear on camera with you and he couldn’t refuse if they asked for him to touch you or kiss you or anything. Do as many interviews as you can without her. That would hopefully keep interactions to a minimal. Don’t look at her during the movie.

 It was surprisingly easy to stick to the rules as you both made your way down the red carpet, but he knew it wasn’t so much his choice as it was how busy and noisy and chaotic everything was. People called his name from every side, reporters looking for quick interviews, fans looking for autographs or photos. He was able to sidestep you easily, answering questions that were thrown at him on his own until someone asked if they could speak to you both at once or get a photo of you together. Whenever you were waved over to join him, he attempted to maintain as much space as he could, but you seemed to have set your own rules just to make it harder for him. You took his hand, leant your head on his shoulder, stood so close your leg brushed against his, stroked your hand over his arm, anything and everything you could to be closer to him. Ben wasn’t sure if you really were acting more affectionate (clingy and needy) than normal or if it just felt that way because he was attempting to hold back. He put up with it though, unable to do much besides press on to the next interview without you. The hardest part was when you reached a bank of photographers who wanted a number of photos of the happy couple. Someone called out for him to kiss you and then suddenly the entire crowd was calling for it. He kept it soft and brief, though a part of him regretted not making the final kiss you’d share better.

 After that he was able to escape you for a little, talking to people as everyone gathered in the theatre to watch the movie. He didn’t look at you again until he was on stage with you, introducing the film and saying his words of gratitude and celebration. But even that didn’t last long and then he was able to take his seat and focus his attention on the screen. Watching himself was always a bit of a weird experience. Part enjoying what he’s helped create, part critiquing his performance, and part wondering why it had been edited the way it had been edited. But somehow it was even stranger sitting beside you and watching you play at being in love with him. He recognised expressions, small smiles and looks, that you’d given him on dates during the course of your relationship. Just proof of how fake everything with you was. It left him with a bitter taste in his mouth and an oddly jealous feeling in his gut. And he could feel you looking at him but he stuck to his rules and kept his eyes fixed ahead.

 He turned to his other side afterwards to talk to Alfie, wondering aloud how everyone would react to the movie and laughing about how well it had turned out. Ben couldn’t think what to say to you, knowing the inevitable end was coming. It was closer now that everyone was heading to the after party. So he was grateful when Alfie joined the two of you in your car. “You two ready to party?” He laughed, “Fuck I love that work gives me such a good excuse to get plastered.” Ben laughed along but he was stuck by the realisation that of course there’d be drinking. He’d have to watch how much he had, especially around you. He didn’t want to say something he’d regret or not be able to explain himself properly. “I think shots are in order to get us started. Meet you both by the bar?” “Sounds like a plan Al,” “I’m making yours a double Jones. We’ll have him dancing on the table by the end of the night, right Y/N?” “Oh I’d love to see that.” Cameras flashed as the small group got out of the car. Alfie headed off down the line, catching up with one of the others, leaving Ben and you on your own. Ben felt you press into his side, hanging off his arm, and thought about what waited in the club. Alfie with shots followed by champagne and cocktails and whatever else would be pressed on him during the night. He didn’t want to blurt it out or let it slip in front of other people. He had to tell you before he’d had anything to drink, just in case. It was now. It had to happen now.

 As soon as he was inside, Ben looked around for somewhere he could have a quiet word with you, somewhere no one was likely to overhear. A nearby mirrored hallways seemed the perfect place. Everyone else was busy heading into the main room and it was out of view of the photographers still hanging around outside, waiting for the stragglers to show up. “Can I speak to you over hear a sec?” he lead you around the corner, looking around to double check for eavesdroppers, “So, there’s something I need to…Y/N?” he realised you hadn’t been paying attention, probably keen to get inside and celebrate. “Yeah, sorry, Um…” Ben didn’t hear what you said next, too busy trying to remember everything he wanted to tell you, “I was going to hold off until later but I don’t want to let something slip after a few drinks or anything like that. I can’t do this anymore. This whole thing was a mistake that I should never have agreed to and I need it to be over now.” He could see how confused you were, “You know they’re going to break us up in like a week, right?” “Yeah well, that’s too long to wait. I’m breaking us up now.” He kept talking, sure the shock of it would wear off and you’d agree with him once you’d heard it all, “And…I don’t think I can see you again, not for a while at least. I need some space to forget this ever happened. I, um, I start my new job in a few days so I think they’ll probably use that in the magazines to explain our breakup. And I don’t expect I’ll see you until after it’s finished. If then. So…good luck with that witch movie. Take care of yourself.” He didn’t want to hear you agree with him, didn’t want to hear you say it was for the best or that you were going to suggest the same thing or even a goodbye. So he pushed past you and followed the noise until he found the bar. As promised Alfie was there, with a few others, a shot glass in each hand. He handed one to Ben. “Where’d Y/N go?” “Oh, uh, loo. She’ll be here in a minute.” “Well here’s to a job well done and hopefully some fucking record breaking box office numbers,” “Cheers to that,” Ben clinked his glass against Alfie’s and downed the shot, hissing a little, “another?” “Read my mind,” Ben lost himself in conversation and drinks, chatting with those around him for a while before moving on to talk to more people. Beer in hand, he headed towards the side of the room where a couple of the other main cast were sitting. Claudia looked up as he approached, “Heya Ben! Where’s Y/N? I haven’t seen her all night,” It was only then that Ben realised he hadn’t seen you come in after he’d left you in the hallway. He glanced around in an attempt to spot you, a pang of worry shooting through him but then he stopped looking. She’s not yours to worry about anymore.

                                                      ***

Ben woke up with a minor hangover the day after the premiere. Maybe it was karma. Despite what he told himself, he’d kept an eye out for you all night, but never saw you and he was more than a little worried that it was because of what he’d said. It was tempting to call and ask where you’d gotten to but a quick glance at the clock told him you’d likely still be asleep anyway. Besides, he knew he shouldn’t. He’d told you he wasn’t going to see you again and he intended to stick to his word. Instead he sent a group message to his mates and invited them around for one last hang out before he left for Spain. The next call he made was to his mum. “Hi honey. How’d the premiere go? “It was really fun, movie looks good.” “How long before you fly out?” “Couple of days,” “Shame there’s not enough time for you and Y/N to come over for dinner,” “Yeah, um, about that… we broke up.” “What? Why?” “It just wasn’t working. Mutual decision, we both felt it had run its course but decided to keep it quiet until after the premiere. So, yeah, no dinner, even if I was going to be in the country.” “Oh, honey, are you okay?” “Yeah, fine. Like I said, we both knew it was coming so y’know, no hard feelings or anything.” “It’s a shame, she was so lovely,” “Yeah, well, sometimes things just don’t work the way you think they will.”

The boys arrived in the afternoon, bringing a mixture of snacks and a few beers with them. They settled in the living room to play video games. Ben liked the company. It was a good distraction. Or it would have been if talk hadn’t turned to you. “Bit surprised you wanted us here and not Y/N. Figured you’d spend your last days in the UK with her,” “Why would I when we broke up?” “You what? When?” Ben shrugged, “We broke up. Few days ago,” “Jesus man, I’m sorry,” “Don’t be, it’s fine. I dumped her.” “Yeah but you had to go to the premiere with her right? That’s rough,” “Was a bit but there was an open bar so I coped,” Ben laughed. “Might be time we got him back on the market then,” “What? We only broke up a couple of days ago,” “You’re clearly not too cut up about it,” “What the fuck would you know, you’ve been single for what is it, three years now?” “Well you didn’t tell us when it happened, and you never even told us when you got together. We found out through a magazine, so obviously you weren’t really that serious about her” “We were waiting until after all the movie stuff was done, and that’s bollocks.” “Excuses. Besides, getting someone new to suck you off is the best way to forget an ex. This is your phone right?” “Oi give that back,” There was a scuffle as Ben tried to grab his phone back but he was outnumbered and pinned down as the boys redownloaded his Bumble app and signed in for him, laughing about how he used the same password for everything. “She’s fit, give her a like,” “Oh I like her, might be a bit tall for you though Ben,” Ben rolled his eyes as he watched them swipe on profile after profile until they heard a noise that meant one of the girls had sent him a message. “There you go Ben, didn’t take long did it. You’ll forget all about that Y/N chick in no time,” Ben snatched his phone back, “You guys are such wankers,” “That’s not very nice considering we’ve just got you a new girl,” There was laughter and more teasing as controllers were passed around and the game was loaded. Ben closed the app, thumb hovering over it to delete it again. But maybe they were right. Maybe someone new would be good. He set the phone down again and turned his attention to the game.

                                                      ***

Spain was beautiful and having a new movie to work on was the perfect distraction, especially considering how many stunts, fight scenes, and action sequences were involved. It gave him a chance to meet more people in the industry, people he was excited to work with, and really focus on something other than you. The cast went out together frequently too, dinners at local restaurants, drinks in the hotel bar, getting lost in an unfamiliar city. There was no trace of you there, no reminders of date nights, nothing but work and a new country to explore. Occasionally he’d get a notification that a reporter or curious individual was trying to message him, asking questions about you and the split but he ignored them. Ben deleted the Bumble app too within the first few days, knowing he wouldn’t use it. There was no time, even if he’d wanted to hook up with anyone. He could always reinstall it once he was back home. Once he knew you were in the past. Because the problem was that at some point every night, Ben would get back to his hotel suite and be left alone again. For a while he’d be able to think about what scenes would be filmed the next day, maybe practice some fight choreography. But eventually he’d run out of distractions and then all that was left to think about was you. Peter had sent through the first articles that reported the breakup and since then he’d found himself wondering if you’d moved on yet, found someone else to date now that you were allowed to. He’d considered checking your Instagram account but had held off, knowing it was a step in the wrong direction. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know anyway. He hadn’t gotten over you enough yet to deal with photos of you and another man together.

 This night was much the same as the others had been. Everyone met up for dinner, followed by a couple of drinks and then headed back to the hotel to unwind. Ben decided to call it an early night. He’d spent a good part of the day hooked up to harnesses and wires, being flung at a wall over and over. He was sore and tired figured some extra rest would do him good. He was just settling into bed, trying to keep his mind on the TV show he’d put on when he heard the knock. He listened closely for a moment but it couldn’t be for him, he’d put up a do not disturb sign on his door, so he turned back to the TV and flicked to a different channel. Another knock. It definitely sounded like his door but who would it be? Maybe one of the other actors? But they’d all heard him say he was going to have an early night, so surely not. Again Ben ignored it. The third knock got Ben out of bed, stumbling to the light switch and then the door, ready to politely tell whoever it was to fuck off and let him rest. “Sorry but can you not see the do not dis- Y/N? What ar-” Ben was surprised. Surprised you knew where he was, surprised you’d come there after he’d told you he didn’t want to see you, surprised that you were covering his mouth to shut him up. “You wouldn’t reply to my texts and I didn’t know if you’d listen to any voicemails I left you but I have something I need to tell you so that’s why I’m here.” There was a beat as Ben waited to hear what could be so important that you’d come all the way to Spain to tell him. “I love you.” He gasped but your palm was still over his mouth so he couldn’t say anything. It had to be a joke, didn’t it? But you didn’t look like you were joking. He waited, listening as you explained everything. It was wonderful to know you felt the same but his shock didn’t lessen. He’d been so sure about everything. So sure about how little you’d felt for him, so sure you would have understood why he needed space. And now you were here telling him the exact opposite? It was unfathomable. Maybe it was a hallucination? Maybe he’d got a concussion when he hit the wall too hard earlier. Does concussion make you hallucinate? But blinking didn’t make you disappear and the hand against his mouth felt real enough. “I’ve missed you so much, so fucking much, and all I’ve wanted is to see you again and hear your voice and hug you and I’d really like to date you for real, or at least be friends again because not having you in my life is complete shit.” Ben felt tears prickling his eyes as he realised how backwards he’d had it. You loved him. You. Y/N. You loved him so much you’d flown to Spain just to tell him. “That’s all I had to say,” you said softly, pulling you hand away. Ben staired in disbelief for a moment but you looked as if you were fighting the urge to run for it and it brought him back to his senses. “Thank god,” it was all he could think to say as he reached out to hold you, pulling you tight against him and kissing you the way he’d wanted to kiss you for so long. Relief flooded his system when you kissed back. He didn’t have to forget you or force himself to move on. It had been an impossible task anyway. He was glad to stop trying.

 It’s only when someone makes a noise further down the corridor that he lets you go, asks if you planned to stay, lead you inside and towards the couch. There were things he needed to clear up first, before he could let himself be fully happy with the situation. He looks at you properly then. You look tired, worn out. He’s not sure if it’s from the late hour or the flight or because you’ve not been sleeping properly but it makes him feel guilty that he upset you. He hates that he pushed you away and wasted months trying to get rid of you when you’d both actually wanted the same thing, to be together. But you’re here now. He reached out to brush a strand of your hair behind your ear, almost dizzy with joy that he could do that. “I’m really sorry for how I acted,” You smiled softly as you took a seat and Ben fell into the spot beside you, unable to take his eyes from you. He lets you lead the conversation, trying to sort out his mess of emotions as he explains himself. I thought if I told you I’d never been into you, acted like it, then I could make it true.” “Did it work?” “Of course not,” How could you ever think it would work? That he could just forget you so fast, after he’d fallen for you so hard? “Which is why I pushed you away.” You nodded, seemed to understand where he’d been coming from. He hesitated before reaching out to grab your hand again, a little afraid of touching you lest you turn to smoke and vanish. But you didn’t. He stifled a yawn, hoping you wouldn’t take it as his disinterest in the conversation. He’d stay up as long for as long as it took to go over everything, no matter how tired he was. “Has there been anyone else?” “Anyone else what?” “I saw a thing about you dating again,” That was surprising, not what he’d expected you to bring up. He hadn’t even realised it had been reported on. But he shook his head, explained about his friends encouraging him to move on. It seemed to satisfy you because you leant on his shoulder, let him hold you. He apologised when he yawned again, about to suggest he put a pot of coffee on so he could keep talking. But then you suggested going to bed and he had to agree.

 As soon as his head hit the pillow Ben knew he’d fall asleep fast. Even with the excitement of your arrival and the buzz of joy you brought. He kept his eyes on you. Everything seemed too good to be true. You grabbed his hand and placed it around you, shuffling as close as you could. “You’re actually here, yeah? I’m not just dreaming it?” Ben asked, voicing aloud his biggest worry. “I’m here Ben.” She’s here. In your bed. “Don’t leave, okay?” “I won’t.” She’s here and she’s staying. “I love you,” he needed to say it again, to make sure you knew that he still felt the same. “I love you too,” It was comforting to hear you say it again too, made his heart burst as he kissed you again. He didn’t want to stop but he was much to tired to do anything else. Still, he fought sleep for as long as he could. He’d lost so much time being apart from you that, now he had you back in his arms, sleep felt like a waste of precious hours. Hours he could spend kissing you, being with you, making sure you felt loved. He couldn’t fight it forever though, eventually had to give up. The last thing he saw before he shut his eyes was you, smiling at him, as you lay beside him.

                                                      ***

It had been a long day what with moving you into his house. Even after the boxes were inside and everyone who had been helping out had gone home, there was still a lot to do. Everything needed to be unpacked and put away. Ben had been clearing space on all his shelves and in all his cupboards to fit everything you’d brought with you. Plus there was new furniture from Ikea to unpack and construct. Like the chest of draws he’d been working on before he got up to stretch his legs and grab a glass of water. He caught sight of the magazines that had been left in the kitchen and, chuckling at their stories of marriage and babies, stacked them in a neat pile before he grabbed his drink. As he walked back through the living room he saw you, curled up on the floor beside the box you’d been working through. “Y/N?” Ben shook your shoulder to wake you, trying not to laugh as you blink at him groggily, still half asleep. “Alright, cuddle bunny, up you get. Time for bed, yeah?” “But the boxes,” you argued though it was unenthusiastic and slurred with sleep. “The boxes will be there tomorrow. C’mon, come with me,” Ben half carried you to the bedroom and helped you under the covers, leaving you with a kiss on the forehead before heading back to the draws he was halfway through building.

 By the time he was finished putting the draws together Ben was feeling fairly tired himself. He moved the spare screws off the floor so no one would step on them and then headed back to the bedroom. You were still there, sleeping soundly. Ben paused in the doorway to look at you. It was a sight he loved, you in his bed. The first time you stayed over and slept in his bed rather than the guest room had been a monumental occasion though the novelty of it had worn off a bit now, especially with how frequently you’d stayed at each other’s places before the move. But still, he’d never get sick of seeing you beside him, where you belonged. Same as he’d never get sick of making you tea or trying to convince you to eat an actual breakfast or making you laugh. It was in that moment, leaning against the doorway of the bedroom you now shared, one wall lined with boxes of your belongings yet to be put away, it was then that he knew he wanted to marry you. Have a family with you, spend his life with you. He’d go out and buy a ring once you were moved in properly, though he could hear his friends telling him to wait a little longer, see how everything was living with you first. But that didn’t matter. He wouldn’t have to give it to you straight away after all. But he knew that was what he wanted with you. And now that you were together, after so much time and trouble, he never wanted to let you go.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy smut #its currenty 1am #i have to be up for work in about 5 hours #this took longer to edit than i thought it would #(probably because its 22 effing words long lmao) #but here you go! #its done! #i think some of my formatting went a little janky when i was copying it into this post #but whateveri think its just added extra line breaks between paragraphs #so it should still be readable #anyway #im gonna pass out now #i'll see you tomorrow when i come to complain about work

[luvdsc]

hi cat !! ive been following the entire plagiarism thing and i wasnt gonna say anything but i cant help myself anymore after seeing after all these anons.

i literally cant believe that you have not only been plagiarised for the tenth time now (literally whats wrong with people?? i swear ive seen you need to call out people for plagiarising your work so many times now), but that anons are coming into your inbox and talking shit and calling you a bully?? its absolutely ridiculous and it really goes to show how people dont seem to understand how fucking hurtful it is for someone to plagiarise your work!

not just that, i think people are literally forgetting that you were gaslit and not offered a proper apology until later on!! youre literally being so generous and mature and patient!! about everything and yet youre getting shit for! i think if i were you, i would have stopped responding and just posted reaction memes to those anons because why the fuck do you have to defend and justify yourself when you have done literally nothing wrong? make it make sense lmao this is why we cant nice things 🤧 those anons better leave your inbox soon. they should use that energy to stream red velvet's comeback next week <3 the girlies look so good ✨

either way im wishing you well and hope lifes treating you well!! 💕 take care!!

OH MY GOD LINH I JUST REALIZED I NEVER RESPONDED TO YOUR MESSAGES I’M SO SO SORRY 😭😭😭 but hi hello, I missed you and I hope you’ve been doing well and school has been going well and you’re still painting and doing fun art !!!!! 💛💛💛

but also yeah ): it’s actually my 19th time getting plagiarized overall…. but some of the other times were from my old writing blogs for other groups or I dealt with them privately because they replied, genuinely apologized, and took down the fic. I really don’t understand the point of those anons, like I’ve said it multiple times why I posted about it and I never spoke badly about her, yet they send me the same arguments over and over again /: but !! I blocked one of them, and they all disappeared so 🥰

Aside from those select few, everyone has been so supportive and understanding of the issue, so I’m very grateful for that though !! 💗 and yeah, I can’t believe I was getting gaslit and treated like this by a fanfic writer on tumblr when it should only be by the toxic men irl 😤 (jk it’s never okay to do this, regardless of who you are; I just wanna make this clear before anyone comes after me about this - it reminds me of that tik tok sound: no no but it’s not funny, at the end of the day it’s actually quite serious dhjdkdkddn) I would put reaction memes, but last time I did that regarding making a closed collab, more anons came after me and I’m just too tired and annoyed to deal with that /: I will use the block button from now on ☺️ and YES oh my god I’m soo excited for their comeback !!!! The visuals have all been so 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Thank you so so soo much, linh, I appreciate you so much, and I wish you all the best and I hope life has been treating you kindly too 🌷🌷🌷 ily !!!!! 🌼🌼

#asks #latetaektalk

[grxceblqckthxrn]

TDA characters as types of tiktokers

y’all KNOW i’m bored when i’m doing this shit lmao 

i’ll get around to doing the other TSC characters eventually TDA was just the first to come to mind also if you’re not actively on tiktok some of what i say might not make sense ahaha

also i named some tiktokers who yall can use for reference for some of them and from what i’ve seen they’re all fairly unproblematic so you should check them out!!

EMMA CARSTAIRS

okay so she’s DEFINITELY super popular and she uses her platform for good

she’s really funny and a lot of her audios go viral posts videos of her dancing saying that she cant dance but she’s actually really good at it

6M followers and growing fast 

 hypes up her boyfriend’s account ALL the time

calls out misogynistic/racist tiktokers through duets and KEEPS THEIR TAG IN THE CAPTION  

 she is not afraid of starting drama lmao

occasionally hops on POV and transition trends but its usually satire 

emma can’t act for shit lmao 

super active on tiktok and has a spam account

people are always asking her to drop the skin care routine but she doesn’t have one?? 

*pushes Zara down* “and no one’s gonna help her?? WOW some world we live in”

JULIAN BLACKTHORN

there’s no way he doesnt  have an art account lmao

a lot of his paintings go viral but 90% of his comments are 14 year old girls thirsting over him

yall know that pottery guy on tiktok?? the cute one?? (i searched up his account just for this post he’s @/daxnewman769) that’s the best way to describe him

literally all the famous tiktokers commission him

probably has like 4M followers lmao

will occasionally make about how respecting women doesn’t make you a “simp”

doesn’t get into tiktok drama tho

posts candid videos of emma and all his jealous 14 year old fans get so pressed but he shuts down anyone who says anything bad about her

sometimes does painting or drawing tutorials and he’s really good at teaching stuff lmao

CRISTINA ROSALES

omg okay so like yall know those really pretty girls on tiktok who are literal models and are always dropping tips on how to frame your face for pictures and best clothes and poses and whatever  ( @/ameliezilber is the first person that came to mind as an example)

thats her

alot of her content is just for the aesthetic

BLING EFFECT

GRWM’s all the time

10 step skin care routine 

GOOD VIBES

has a pretty decent following?? like at least 2 million

has a spam but it’s exactly the same as her main lol

also calls out problematic tiktokers but not by name

her entire account is full of body positivity and does a bunch of stuff on loving yourself

sometimes does POVs and all the comments are like “@ netflix hire her rn”

sometimes posts crack videos with emma and cute vids with mark and kieran

MARK BLACKTHORN

does a lot of reaction videos and duets

a lot of his videos go viral but he doesn’t have a huge following like maybe 800k

 everyone still knows him

gets at least twenty “are you wearing only one contact” comment about his eyes every post

he’s really funny without even realizing it 

sometimes goes inactive for weeks at a time and just forgets that tiktok exists lmao

shows off kieran and cristina ALL THE MF TIME AND EVERYONE IS SO JEALOUS LIKE HOW ARE ALL OF THEM HOT

KIERAN 

doesnt have a tiktok lmao sorry

but shows up so much on mark’s and cristina’s that a lot of people know who he is

DIANA WRAYBURN

unironically does POVs but is actually good at them??

lots of videos talking about the struggles of minorities like LGBTQ+ and POC and women

posts a lot of those vidoes that are like “what to do if you ever get kidnapped” “red flags in relationships” “most powerful parts of the body” etc

probably has like 500k followers 

at the end of the day she doesn’t really use tiktok that much tho ahaha

LIVVY BLACKTHORN:

does a little bit of everything??

posts dance videos sometimes 

omg her transitions are SO good

everyone is in love with her and she has to remind them that she’s a minor (i’m just a kid plays aggressively in the background)

posts videos that are just vibes?? like her skating at night, dancing in traffic with dru/her friends, walking through the city at night etc

lots of lip syncing videos to whatever sounds are popular and all her comments are like “i wish i looked like this” “guess im not eating today” and she gets so upset :((

she wants everyone to know that they’re perfect the way they are!!

also posts POVs sometimes and she’s not that bad at them ahaha 

probably has like 1 million followers 

doesn’t even need a spam just posts everything on her main 

shouts out her sibilings accounts all the time

overall just great energy

TY BLACKTHORN

never posts his face on his main but he does on his spam

yall know those accounts that post fun facts or psychology facts?? his is like that except he talks to explain them and everyone finds his voice SO calming 

he posts a lot of content of animals and everyone is in AWE with how good he is with them

his username is probably theanimalwhisperer or something djkfskjd

every single time he posts Kit on his account all the comments are like “OOH ICU” and “SHIP” and “ASK HIM OUT ALREADY”

he gives 0 shits about popularity on tiktok he’s just posting for fun because he likes teaching people about his interests

so he has like maybe 500k followers

lots of philosophical questions that has everyone questioning their existence

ugh i love him

KIT HERONDALE

be honest this is what y’all were waiting for 

yall know those unproblematic ppl that everyone refers to as the “king(s) of tiktok”???

yeah thats him

SO FUNNY

LIKE HIS CONTENT IS GENUINELY HILARIOUS

lots of sarcasm and satire

think @/adamkindacool  ?? (one of my favourite tiktokers lmao)

does reaction videos for those “pov: im the annoying hot cheeto girl sitting next to you in math class” videos

dark humor (not like rude humor but actual dark humor)

like “i put the baby in the oven and the pizza in the bed” type of jokes back when those were a thing

has like 4M followers but almost every single one of his posts go viral so he’s gaining fast

lots of pranks

starts a bunch of trends

any video he posts of Mina goes viral

sometimes he posts some really weird stuff that has everyone laughing so hard irl (@/benoftheweek)

he NEVER thirst traps but still gets a lot of those weird sexual fairy comments on his posts (iykyk)

TO BE CLEAR I MEAN THE FAIRY EMOJI ONES NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING FAE 

reacts to the comments with a video of him just staring at the screen with the “oh to see without my eyes” or “im just sixteen” audio going on in the background which only encourages them to make more weird comments

anyways everyone loves him

any of his povs are pure jokes meant to make fun of pov’ers

posts maybe one serious tiktok every 5 months that talks about being respectful and using your platform for good

“i miss old tiktok”

posts a lot of random videos of Ty where, again, all the comments are shipping them except even more so on his account because everyone can see his heart eyes for Ty

collabs with Dru a lot and does a bunch of duets of her videos

everyone loves him bye

DRU BLACKTHORN

SO many memes

she deletes any hate in her comments bc she honestly doesnt care to respond to them and doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life

but one time she got a “the f in women stands for funny” comment and she WENT OFF

does really dark povs sometimes that are really interesting

CLOWN MAKEUP + SCARY CLOWN TIKTOKS ( think @/avani ‘s clown make up posts

REALLY good at makeup and sometimes gets julian to do scary makeup on her for tiktoks and povs (like those ones with stitches over the mouth or skin peeling off)

huge ally!! posts a lot about minorities struggles and white privilege, and acknowledges hers

does movie reviews and stuff sometimes

“types of” videos

pulls a lot of pranks on her sibilings with livvy and sometimes with Kit

lots of body positivity + self love

calls out back-handed compliments

also has a lot of content like Livvy’s of just vibing in LA

julian and emma and mark go off at anyone who sexualize her in the comments

probably has like 650k followers

posts a couple of times a week

BONUS: 

JAIME ROSALES

lots of skateboarding videos idk he just gives me that vibe

doesn’t post that often but is super popular

like maybe 1.5M followers

really passionate about systematic racism

HATES all those privileged white boys using the “this is america” audio to pretend they’re oppressed ( this is a may 2020 thing so it probably wont make sense to anyone who sees this after lmao)

POSTS A LOT OF THIRST TRAPS LMAO 

also posts lots of videos that’s just him yelling about stuff but they’re really entertaining to watch ( like that guy sebastian @/sauceyogranny)

everyone thinks he’s super hot he always shows up in those “hottest boys on tiktok” videos except sometimes he’s just the token POC boy and it makes him mad :( 

DIEGO ROSALES

HIS ACCOUNT IS SO PRACTICAL LMAO

lots of tips 

“what to do if you’re trapped in the desert” “what to do if you’re kidnapped and stuck in the trunk”

doesnt reply to comments EVER unless it’s to clarify a point he made in the video or answer a question

has like 200k

okay thats it lmao im done bye this took me like an hour to make

i’ll get to all the other characters from the other series’ eventually 

also if yall are wondering abt the lack of f*ckbois in this post they’re coming dw

TMI CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TID CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS 

TLH CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

#tda #the dark artifices #tlh #tmi #tid #shadowhunters #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #twp #emma carstairs #julian blackthorn #mark blackthorn #cristina rosales #kieran #kieran kingson #diana wrayburn #Livvy Blackthorn #livia blackthorn #Ty Blackthorn #kit herondale #kitxty #kit rook #jaime rosales #diego rosales #dru blackthorn #Drusilla Blackthorn #tiberius blackthorn #qoaad #queen of air and darkness #lord of shadows