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#also there's a loose tile outside my door so that always gives it away to the dog if he's looking elsewhere/dozing đŸ˜©
gefiltefished · 1 month
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đŸ˜©
I wanna sleep but I have the dog on my bed bc sister's out working late again and he already went for one of the cats tonight so I want to keep an eye out just in case đŸ˜©đŸ˜©
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talesofesther · 1 year
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I guess that's love
Wednesday Addams x Reader
Summary: Wednesday sees herself stuck in the memory of one night; the night you almost died. She feels it's her fault, your blood on her hands says as much.
A/N: This is loosely based on Can't Pretend by Tom Odell and After Hours by The Weeknd which was suggested by the lovely @abelvrla. Also, I think it's valid to say that this story is mostly me having fun with some of my favorite tropes, so idk if this turned out kinda bad or similar to any of my other works; but I do hope you can enjoy it anyway. <3
Word count: 4,5k of feelings.
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It's red. All she sees is red.
It stains the white porcelain of the sink before going down the drain.
Blood never bothered Wednesday, one could say she enjoyed the sight of it.
Now, she's almost rubbing her hands raw. It's a hurried motion, she brushes the soap over her palm with urgency, clawing at her own skin under the running water; yet it's still there.
She feels a little nauseated. Maybe it's because her breathing is all over the place. Sometimes too fast; sometimes not fast enough, clogged up in her throat.
She washes. And washes. And
 keeps washing. The skin of her hands becomes reddish. The blood — your blood — eventually, finally fades.
But does it really? Wednesday feels the stain to be permanent.
Looking down at her hands — her vision a little blurry but she doesn't think about that — she catches herself shaking. Her chest is impossibly tight, it hurts to feel the beating of her own heart.
How'd you do it? How'd you get her to dread your death?
She's disoriented when she exits the bathroom, not registering immediately where she is. The white walls of the hospital hurt her eyes.
It's been such a long night.
Is it still night?
The tie around Wednesday's neck seems to be choking her. She reaches her hands up to loosen it, but the feeling doesn't go away. She discards the garment altogether.
That's when she notices the blood stains on the cuffs of her white shirt. She curses under her breath. She wants to throw up. Or change out of these ruined clothes, but it feels like a waste of time.
"
nesday? Wednesday!"
She looks up upon hearing the calls of her name, only to see Principal Weems regarding her with evident worry. She's a little paler than usual, the night definitely hasn't been kind to her either.
There are only a few doctors walking around, some of them give Wednesday a strange look as they pass her by. A pungent smell of disinfectant hangs in the air. The sky outside the window bleeds in soft shades of dark purple and orange — the sun is already rising to a new day.
"You need to get checked out too, follow me." Weems reaches out to Wednesday's shoulder, trying to guide her to an empty room.
Wednesday ignores it, shrugging off the hand on her shoulder. "Where is she?"
Weems avoids her eyes then, sighing exasperatedly because she knows arguing will lead her nowhere; "she's being treated, we'll be able to see her soon."
"I want to see her now," Wednesday states, before walking past Larissa without even knowing which door she should go to.
"She's in surgery, miss Addams," Weems insists, finality in her tone. "We'll only make things worse going there now."
It's funny, how you've always told Wednesday she should put herself out there more, not be afraid to feel or let people close. Yet now you only prove her right in her reasoning that emotions only exist to torture people. Not in a good way.
But she did it anyway, didn't she?
She allowed herself to feel things.
Wednesday is frozen to the pristine tiles, her nails almost piercing her skin as she clenches her fists.
"I'm worried too, but all we can do now is wait," Weems softens once she notices the shaking of Wednesday's body. She takes a careful step closer to the girl, "if you don't want to see a doctor come back to the school with me, take a shower, put some clean clothes on. I'll drive you back when we're allowed to see her."
—
The warm water soothed Wednesday's muscles, it washed away the dried blood from her hair and the dirt clinging to her skin. It was relieving.
She's now standing in front of the bathroom mirror and the reflection staring back at her is not one she easily recognizes. Her skin looks paler than usual — if that's even possible — there are dark circles around her eyes and even she has to admit she looks exhausted.
Wednesday reaches a hand to touch her abdomen, nimble fingers tracing the spot that should be ripped open but isn't. Not even a scar remains; no telltales that she had been stabbed just a few hours ago.
She shivers at the thought. Death's cold embrace is a little more taunting when seen up close.
For a fleeting second, Wednesday catches herself planning to go to your room — as she usually did most nights before she pushed you away. She would sit beside you on your bed, her shoulder would brush yours and she'd comment about how you could even sleep in a bed this small, yet she wouldn't pull away. She'd talk with you about how good it felt to drive a knife into the old pilgrim's heart. Maybe she'd even tell you she had been scared. Maybe you'd try to hold her hand and she'd let you, gripping you tighter than she should.
Your comfort was Wednesday's most prized secret. You were her favorite broken rule.
The salty taste of a tear on her lips brings Wednesday back to reality. The reality where she doesn't have a single scar on her body and you're in a hospital bed fighting to stay alive.
She dries her cheeks harshly, turning around to put on her sweater and dark pants.
—
It's 6 PM when Principal Weems brings her back to the hospital and Wednesday is finally allowed into your room.
There's a stillness to it that she hates. You are too still. Several tubes are attached to your body as you lay on the hospital bed, there are bandages around your torso, some of them faintly tainted red. The machine that tracks your heartbeat is beeping in a lazy rhythm.
Wednesday doesn't dare breathe as she walks closer, stopping right beside you so she can cast over each scrape on your skin.
There was too much blood loss, Weems had told her moments ago. Wednesday knew that, she was the one who kept what was left of your blood inside your body until the ridiculously slow help finally arrived.
Weems also told her the bullet was short of doing major damage, and that despite now being weak, you were lucky and should wake up within a few days.
It does absolutely nothing to set Wednesday's heart at ease.
You're too still.
She can barely see your chest moving with the soft breathing. Your features are so serene, so emotionless. She could say you're dead if she didn't know any better.
Wednesday doesn't move for several moments, it's almost as if she's afraid to. She holds herself stiff at your side, glaring at you as if you'd wake up only to hear her scolding.
She hates that this is the first time she's been this close to you, in what? Two or three weeks?
It feels unfair, unfitting. Like it's all wrong.
But she can't complain. It's her fault.
A vain attempt at keeping you safe. Maybe it only made things worse;
—
"You know, as far as dates go, this is pretty creative," you told her, dodging fallen logs and rocks as you walked amongst the woods.
Wednesday turned back to look at you with an unreadable expression, "no one said this was a date."
"What would you call it then?"
"Investigating."
You groaned, falling into step beside Wednesday. Just so you could see the heavenly way the moonlight shaped her features. There was fog in the cold air, trees nothing but dark silhouettes around you; it suited her. "You're no fun."
"Flattery will get you nowhere," Wednesday felt your hand brushing hers. She hated how it made her focus waver. "Besides, you're the one who agreed to accompany me."
"Of course I did," you explained easily, "you asked me to."
Wednesday gulped, things felt more intimate than they should when the only witnesses around you are trees.
"Why was that?" You dared take hold of her hand then, your cold fingertips closing around her own. She stopped abruptly, and you observed the way her shoulders tensed. "You say you don't need anyone, yet here I am."
Wednesday's breath turned shallow, she didn't feel like looking at you. Because you were right, it was a break in her pattern; her rules.
How'd you do it? How'd you get her to break her rules?
You came to stand before her, your other hand taking hold of her free one so you could pull her closer. And she let you. Another step and any left space between you will vanish.
"Why won't you tell me?" You asked for what felt like the millionth time, but you didn't really hope for an answer.
You're familiar with her. She allows you close; you hold her hand, you touch her cheek, you braid her hair. Yet she never tells you why she allows you to do it.
Wednesday kept her eyes focused somewhere on your lips, counting the specks of color there, still as a corpse.
She saw the ghost of a smile that came to your lips before you leaned closer. And alarms were blaring inside her head, her lungs aching because of how she refused to breathe; yet she didn't move away.
You kissed her softly, gently. Your lips mapped hers in a way that felt like it always should've been.
And she melted against you, her hands clutching yous.
But as all things do, as Goody warned her time and time again; it didn't last. Shockwaves cursed through Wednesday's body and she was taken to another reality.
A reality where you were screaming her name in one second, and the next you were laying on the dirty ground, a pool of blood forming under you.
Wednesday jumped away from you the second she came back to herself, her eyes wide and breathing frantically as she strived to not pass out from what she'd just witnessed in her mind.
You were speaking, trying to reach out for her again as you asked what was wrong.
Wednesday felt her eyes sting, all she could see was your blood on her hands.
—
Her vision from that night came back in the form of nightmares for many nights after. Getting Wednesday to start dreading sleep.
She remembers warning you to never come near her again just before she sprinted away, leaving you alone in the woods with no further explanation. She avoided you, accepting the fact you might hate her, but it was okay because you'd be doing it alive.
All in vain, because her vision became a reality anyway.
"How could you be so stupid?" Wednesday tells you, but only the hospital walls hear it. "Jumping in front of me like that, it was ridiculous. Don't you see it? That's why you should've stayed away."
It's useless, you won't wake up to hear her complaints.
Wednesday exhales sharply and turns away from you, "it shouldn't have happened, I tried to-" There's a lump in her throat, it tangles her words, "but you're so stubborn
 If you die before me, I'll kill you, I will-"
I don't know what I'll do. Wednesday thinks to herself. She sits on the chair that's beside your bed, watching through the window as the sun hides behind Jericho's mountains.
"You're missing your stupid sunset," Wednesday finds herself whispering. A last attempt at getting you to open your eyes, because for some reason, you liked to see the ending of sunny days.
Nothing happens. You remain still. The beeping tracking your heart rate is still slow. The room remains too quiet.
Wednesday leans back on her chair, she stays motionless for several minutes; until her hand eventually finds you.
Wednesday wraps her fingers around the pulse point on your wrist, not trusting the machine to tell her you're not dead yet.
She holds tightly onto you. There's no one around to witness it.
—
You didn't wake up for four days. And every day, without failure, Wednesday came to see you. She'd sit beside your bed and wait, sometimes silent, sometimes speaking as if you'd talk back to her.
It was her own way of keeping herself calm, busy.
Though the sleepless nights were starting to take a toll on her; sour mood and thinner patience being her new normal, along with the dark circles around her eyes.
Every time she closes her eyes, she's back there — warm blood on her hands and your life slipping from her grasp — so she refuses to do it.
Enid has seen her roommate nap hunched over her desk too many times to not get worried, but with being shut out every time she asked what she could do to help, she eventually stopped.
Wednesday could hate you for messing up her life.
She doesn't.
—
The day you woke up, Wednesday was nowhere to be seen.
All of your friends came to see you, overwhelming you with love and tales about how each of them missed a part of you in their lives.
You felt sore all over, as if you'd been hit by a truck — getting shot then staying unconscious in bed for days will do that to someone, you figured.
Enid was the one who stayed to accompany you back to school when you were discharged from the hospital, along with Principal Weems, of course.
"It feels like I'm learning to walk all over again," you groaned, one hand coming up to clutch at your abdomen as you got to your feet.
"Take it slow, we've got time," Enid kindly held a hand out for you, which you promptly took.
There are a million questions swimming in your mind, losing these many days from your life feels strange. You halted but the world didn't.
You asked the one that you first thought of when you woke up; "Enid," you stop walking so you can look into her eyes, "how is Wednesday? Did she got hurt?"
A complicated array of emotions pass through Enid's features, too fast for you to put your finger on any of them. She looks at you with something akin to sympathy; "she's
 fine." Enid chews on her bottom lip, pondering whether she should tell you or not. Naturally, she can't hold back, "she hasn't left your bedside once."
You must have looked rather surprised, because Enid keeps going; "it's true, there wasn't a day that she didn't come to see you."
You don't know how you should feel. You think it's unhealthy for your heart to be beating as fast as it is right now after what you've just been through, but you can't get it to slow down, not when such a bomb is dropped on you.
Almost a month ago, Wednesday told you to never come near her again. Today, Enid tells you she's been by your side this whole time.
"Why?" You ask.
Enid doesn't know the answer.
—
It feels like a fever dream. Your bullet wound, the hospital visits, the remains of the fight. Everything. It feels like it didn't happen.
Because when you got back to Nevermore, everything was back to how it was. The damage to the school was repaired, classes were steadily going back to being routine, and Wednesday hasn't looked in your mere direction once — she, being the epitome of healthy coping mechanisms and dealing with feelings, avoids you like the plague.
You asked Enid to tell Wednesday that your door was open if she ever wished to talk.
Several days have gone by already and she hasn't taken you up on your offer.
You walk out of the cafeteria with a heavy heart and twirling an apple in your hand. You miss her. You hate how your days still feel hollow without Wednesday's presence on them, it's weird because she's not the type of person who usually makes her presence known; but you miss the weight of her shoulder resting against yours, the familiar comfortable silence you'd share when only enjoying each other's existence while reading.
It's a grey day outside. You see her before you see anything else when you walk into the quad. She has her back to you, black braids haphazardly done falling over her shoulders as she sits with Enid on one of the tables.
The werewolf notices you and waves you over, an encouraging smile on her lips. You give her a look that shows your uncertainty, but she insists.
You take a deep breath and follow the stone path that leads to her table. There's a limp on your steps still, telltales of the fight; sometimes you feel the eyes of your peers lingering on you. You wonder what they're thinking about, what they see when they look at you. A brave hero or a stupid kid?
What do they see when they look at her? A lonely, unfortunate soul or the savior of the school?
You sit down beside Enid, consequently in front of Wednesday, your hands resting in your lap as your knee goes up and down anxiously.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Enid greets you happily, as if there isn't a tension thick enough to cut through in the air.
The question almost goes over your head. You're focusing on the Addams girl in front of you, on the way her knuckles suddenly go white as she grips the lunch tray like her life depends on it.
"I'm alright," you answer, eyes fixed on Wednesday — she holds you in a trance.
"I've been meaning to ask if you have the notes from our last class?" Enid continues, in a kind effort to make things less complicated.
"I uh-" you start, but cut yourself off when Wednesday hastily gets up from her seat, not sparing you a glance as she turns around and walks away.
You watch her retreating figure, the ends of her skirt bouncing with her steps. With a groan, you begrudgingly take a bite from your apple, "there's no figuring her out, I'm done," you mumble over your mouthful.
Though you're not sure if you truly mean it.
"Don't say that," Enid pouts, keeping her eyes on Wednesday until she disappears through the doors that lead inside the school.
"She made it explicitly clear she wants nothing to do with me, Enid," you shrug, a bittersweet smile tugging at your lips, "I think it's my fault anyway, so
 I won't bother her anymore."
Enid turns, straddling the bench she's sitting on so she can fully face you; "what do you mean?"
You breathe in deeply, feeling the familiar flutter in your stomach just thinking about it. "A few weeks before all that shit happened, we shared a- a moment."
Enid instantly smiles, her eyes twinkling with excitement, "you kissed?"
You chuckle timidly, smiling along with the memory, "yeah," but your gaze dropped to your hands right after. "I think it was a mistake."
"I doubt it," Enid tells you confidently then, as if she's in on a secret you're not.
You raise an eyebrow at her.
Enid glances between you and the door that Wednesday had disappeared into, tasting the words on her tongue before she spills them over for you. She breathes in, and relents; "after you passed out
" she gulps, dreadful memory still fresh, "right after you got shot, from the blood loss. Wednesday, she- I never saw her so desperate."
Only from the emotions swimming in Enid's eyes, you could tell she was being honest. You couldn't help the tightness in your chest upon imagining Wednesday going through that.
"It was almost as if she knew you wouldn't make it, that you wouldn't survive," Enid keeps going, "or at least that's what she believed in."
Clarity shoots through you like a bullet as your eyes widened with the words. Ironic much, but that was the feeling.
Because there was a possibility, that Wednesday saw your misfortune before it even happened. Right when you kissed her, no less.
And if that was the case, you couldn't imagine the torment she's been under ever since.
—
The night is calm, you can see clouds shaping the moon as you walk the path outside that leads to Ophelia Hall. It's a little late, just past curfew but you prefer it that way — fewer people around, the hallways will be empty.
It's a struggle for you to walk up the stairs, you have to stop once to catch your breath and allow the nagging pain that shoots up your leg to subside. Details. Tonight feels important, because you're going to see her; you'll make sure of it, even if she insists otherwise.
You stop in front of the dark wooden door. If you strain your ears, you can hear the faint noise of her typewriter. Enid isn't there, you know she's at Yoko's room tonight — her idea, not yours. Privacy is important, she told you, right after all but commanding you to do what you're doing.
With a deep breath in and feeling more nervous than you thought you would, you raise your fist, and knock.
The typing noise stops, you hear her chair scratching the floor. You couldn't breathe even if you tried.
The door pulls open and your heart melts a little at the sight; Wednesday stands in front of you with a hoodie and sweatpants on, and her hair free of braids, clearly not expecting anyone to show up at this hour.
You're snapped out of your trance when you register the door closing again. You quickly hold it open with your hand; "hear me out, please."
"No," Wednesday huffs, "I told you to stay away."
"Yeah, and not much else," you push through, squeezing your way inside her room and closing the door behind you. Wednesday takes a big step back as if you'd burn her. It hurts. "Could've given me a reason."
With a deep breath in, Wednesday sets her jaw tight, "I don't owe you anything."
You avoid her eyes then, "maybe not, but I thought we had-"
"We didn't," Wednesday tells you, the shake of her voice makes you look up, and you think you see her eyes glistening, "we don't."
You nod slowly, and despite the bleeding of your heart, you speak softly; "did you see it?" You chew on the inside of your cheek, fumbling with your hands so they don't tremble, "that night, you had a vision didn't you? About what happened to me?"
There's a sudden stillness to the room that feels awfully familiar to Wednesday. She hates the way she can't seem to control her breathing pattern, she hates that the image of you in front of her is becoming blurry.
"Is that why you've been avoiding me? Because I got hurt?"
Your words urge Wednesday's mind to travel back to that night. She closes her eyes tightly, causing a tear to roll down her cheek and part of her wants to kick you out of the room for making that happen.
"You're a liability," she tells you the first thing her mind conjures up.
You chuckle humourlessly, "ouch, considering I saved your life that's-"
"Exactly the problem." Wednesday interrupts urgently, "are you stupid? If you insist on staying close to me you'll only hurt yourself." Her voice breaks at the end of the sentence, as if it caused her physical pain to speak.
You've never heard her this vulnerable, this scared. Your heart bleeds but for a different reason; for the affection you hold for her, for not being able to protect her from what happened. You take a step further towards her and breathe a sigh of relief when she doesn't take one away from you. "And what if staying away hurts me just as much? What then?"
It's quiet. Wednesday doesn't make a single sound. All you see are her cheeks slowly being stained with tear tracks as they roll all the way down to her chin and drip to the floor, her eyebrows scrunching in hurt. But she's so quiet.
You take one more step. "Tell me why."
A beat of silence, and then; "you made me
 care about you and then you go and almost die." Wednesday chokes out angrily.
You smile sadly, finally hearing the words you've been chasing; though you'd prefer them in better circumstances, "caring about people can be
 scary."
You don't think she registered that you were so close. Wednesday flinches when your hand touches hers, it's a ghost of a touch, barely there, yet it feels almost like an embrace.
"But I promise you, I'm not going anywhere," you say quietly, tears pooling at the bottom lid of your eyes as you carefully hold her hand properly.
Wednesday is frozen in place, it feels like someone reached past her ribs and is squeezing the organ that pumps her blood. She hates that she must look like a mess, yet this is the first time in weeks that she feels she can actually breathe. Part of her has been stuck on that night — hands stained with your blood as the paramedics take you away from her — until now.
Her fingers tentatively close around yours, her lips part and she struggles a little to get the words out, "it's not a promise you can keep."
"I can try," you whisper. You see it clearly in her eyes; the guilt she's been carrying. "What happened that night, it wasn't your fault, you have to know that, Wednesday."
"It was because of me," she reasons just as quietly, "and almost took you from me."
Goosebumps raise on your skin at her words. Your thumb gently traces her hand. It's private, it's delicate, it's a moment that belongs to you two only. "It'll take more than a bullet for you to get rid of me," you tease with a tearful grin.
Slowly, you bring her hand up so it rests over your chest; her palm flush with your skin as your heart beats rhythmically right underneath it. "I'm right here," you breathe.
It's all it takes for her to, finally, surrender. Wednesday stumbles forward, and you're there to catch her. Her head rests on your shoulder and her hands clutch at the fabric of your shirt to the point of ripping. You encircle your own arms around her waist, pressing her tightly to you.
Wednesday is still mostly quiet, the only thing you can hear if you focus hard enough is the occasional hitch of her breath. But you feel the way her tears soak your shirt, the way her body trembles as she gives her all to contain her sobs.
"There was
 so much blood," is all she tells you, words muffled against your skin.
"I know," you slide one of your hands up to her head, entangling your fingers through her hair, "I'm so sorry it had to be you." You plant several kisses on her temple and on her hair, each one is a different promise.
I'm here.
I won't leave.
My blood will never be in your hands again.
You think she understands, because you feel her own lips brushing the skin of your shoulder; cold, damp with tears. Tender.
I love you.
⋆* ☟ ⋆*:⋆*
Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keep me motivated to continue posting here, so I'd appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3
Wednesday’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @heelaechan @imagine-reblog @sakurarukas @bluetreecloud20 @the-night-owl-blr @imlike-so-gaydude @user284747 @dreifhraniquo29 @emeraldevan @simp4nat @boobabietch @impossibleliv1031 @deadpool-in-a-snood @rainbow-love4ever @maria-403 @pompompuri @halleest @wandaromanova @marveloussimp @rainbow-hedgehog @left-and-right-up-and-down @get-the-fuck-outta-here @awolfcsworld @elduster @alexkolax @georgi-salva @imdumbhi @youralphawolf72 @reginassweetheart @justyourwritter69 @yangsroboarmm @8e-h-e8 @irish-piece-of-trash @femalehomosexual666 @wol-fica @wednesdays-woes @vorsdany
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acertainmoshke · 11 months
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@sam-glade @moonluringfrost @writernopal you liked the snippet of Liz's story, so now that I finished it I decided to post the whole scene. TW for (mild) suicidal ideation and yelling at a kid.
Elizabeth Nora Brusk was mature for 12. Everyone said so. Mrs. Anderson from 4-H called her impressive because she always said please and thank you and never backtalked. She was the favorite friend among moms because she never asked for anything and seemed delighted by whatever they offered. Her imagination and quiet attentiveness charmed her teachers. She was the Smart Friend, the Logistics Friend, the girl with her nose in a book who didn't cause any trouble.
Elizabeth Nora Brusk raked her fingernails down her cheeks and shrieked in rage. The anger was red and liquid and too much for her small frame, bubbling up and out of every orifice. Buried hot and small and dense at the bottom was her hatred. No one who shrieked like this until she couldn't breathe, who despised her mother's face, who wished herself dead could also be a good person.
“I hate you!” It came out of her mouth before she could bite it back, and it felt good.
Her mother's face was twisted and ugly with equal rage. “You do, do you? Then tell me, why do I drive you all over town for your activities and meetings? Why did I just spend my weekend taking all your little friends out into the blooming cold woods? Why am I even here, if you don't want any of it?”
Liz's breath was gasping. She could feel her limbs changing, becoming clumsy and loose in another dizzy spell. Everything was starting to look like a washed-out photo, too pale. She wished it wasn’t far too late to reach out for a hug and say sorry.
Her mother was still talking. “You think I wanted to give up my career and never see my friends so I could ferry you around town between soccer and 4-H and robotics? You think it was my dream to nag you about homework or plan middle school events when I could be sewing, going to shows, sitting on the damn couch eating bonbons?”
The red-hot anger boiled over, spilling all over the grubby kitchen tiles. The fresh scratches on her cheeks burned. “Fine! I'll run away then!” She didn't mean it. She never meant it, but words were the closest thing to power she had. “As soon as Halloween is over I'll run away!”
A door slammed open across the house. Liz's mouth clicked shut. The red anger was suddenly replaced with something tingly and cold.
She forgot he was home.
THUD. THUD. THUD.
Her father should have been a silly sight, big and fat and harry in nothing but fuzzy penguin pajama pants and white socks.
There was nothing silly about his scowl or the thunderous voice that boomed from under his mustache.
“Why wait?”
Her brain couldn't figure out what he meant. She sat unmoving and silent.
“I said, why wait? Get out. NOW!” His voice shook the small house down to its foundation.
Liz darted to her feet and stumbled across the kitchen and living room. She was careful not to look at Leo huddled under his blankets. This wasn’t his fault—just another way she ruined everything.
Her mind was racing. She had books and dolls and toy horses. How much could she carry on her own? Her journal would have to come, and Lacey, even though she didn't play much with baby dolls anymore. Did she have a bag to stuff with books? It was late afternoon, where would she sleep tonight?
“GET YOUR COAT AND GET OUT!!” He bellowed behind her.
Heart racing, she grabbed the hand-me-down orange coat she loved so much and ran outside without bothering to reach for shoes.
The front patio was cold, but Liz didn't care. In that moment, nothing at all mattered because her father didn't want her. He was inside right now deciding how best to get rid of her. She hoped he would let her go back for her stuff at least. Maybe spend the night. It was getting dark already and she was so tired her whole body felt heavy. Hot, slimy tears drenched her cheeks. She didn't care who saw her now as she threw herself into a patio chair, pulled her legs up, and continued sobbing.
For a long moment, Liz wished she could stop existing. Wished she was strong enough to die.
But, inevitably, practicality resurfaced, just as being miserable started to get boring. She knew when the downtown churches gave out free lunches and dinners. She could spend all day at the library computers with the homeless guys, where it was cold in summer and warm in winter. She had no idea where to sleep, but she would figure that out. She read enough adventure books. Maybe she could hide until the library closed and stay there among the books all night? What about Leo, though? He was too little to come and he never did what she said, but she couldn't leave him. And what about—
Warm inside light cut through the dusky twilight, streaming off the porch and onto the street.
“Come on!” Her father was wearing a shirt now, but still scowling.
“Yes, Papa!” Relief rushed through her. Whatever happened later, she was about to be warm again.
Her feet tingled on the wood floor. Her mother was bent over the kitchen table, shoulders shaking. She didn't look mean and ugly now, just sad. The hatred under her anger cracked open and guilt floated up, filling her and pushing everything else away.
“Mama
”
“No.” Papa's voice was a knife edge. “Sit down!”
Afraid to venture any farther into the house and make a wrong move she didn't see coming, Liz sat on the floor. For this to be accomplished, she had to push several coupons, a handful of Legos, and Leo's teddy bear back into the pile of things that filled the room. Small as she was, Liz filled the one walkway through the house.
She watched the patterns of shadow cast by the uneven piles of boxes and loose items on what little floor she could see. It didn’t make the guilt or fear go away, but it kept her from crying again.
“Would you look at me?”
She forced her eyes up. Not quite to meet Papa’s, but no one seemed to complain if she stared at his nose. It still took more focusing than just looking away and listening.
“Thank you. Geez.” He took a deep breath and his voice got louder. “Would you mind telling me what the hell is wrong with you?”
She didn’t have an answer, at least not one that wouldn’t sound like a pointless excuse: Mama wouldn’t stop reminding her about all the homework she had left and it made her insides boil because it was too much. Too much what she had no idea, but it made her snap and act like a bratty little kid. She didn't fully remember why she had been so very upset.
But that didn’t matter, not even a little, because the point was that she was a disrespectful, horrible little child who didn’t deserve the life she had.
“I’m sorry,” it was little more than a whisper.
“Uh-huh, that’s nice. Do you know how you made your mother feel?”
Liz risked a glance at Mama, who was watching them both with equal wariness.
"Yes, Papa."
“And how’s that?”
Liz tried to form her words carefully, to find the right answer, but Papa was tapping his foot impatiently. “Hurt because I was disrespectful.” Too simple, probably, but the truth.
To her relief, he accepted it without need for further detail. “There will be no Halloween for you. Go to bed. I’m done looking at you.”
Liz decided not to point out that it wasn’t even 7:00 yet or that they hadn’t had dinner. She didn’t dare try to take her jammies all the way to the bathroom to change. She didn’t have enough emotion left to care that she wouldn’t get to dress up and trick-or-treat next week. She did notice a hint of relief that he hadn’t felt like lecturing her tonight. Because then she would have cried again, which always made him madder, and then it would turn into a whole thing that would last until midnight

As fast and quiet as she could, Liz scrambled up the foot of the white bunk bed, crawling over her pile of stuffed animals and books to hide under the covers. She listened as Papa turned away like she wasn’t there, but his voice was still stiff and tight as he asked Mama about dinner. As soon as they went into the other room she reached behind the books on the top shelf for her soft black journal and mechanical pencil.
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heavenlyhischier · 3 years
Text
only when you're high - rafe cameron
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word count: 4.3k
summary: Rafe only ever talks to you when he's high, and you've eventually had enough.
warnings: angst i guess, language, mentions of drugs and alcohol, lil makeout sesh at the end
note: ik this isn't the request but i've been working on this for a while so here ya go <3 this is def not my best writing so dont judge it too harshly
3:53 a.m.
You had been dreaming about your cat taking over a world full of people with fish heads when the incessant ringing from your phone jolted you awake. You blindly flung your hand onto the nightstand, knocking over a half empty water bottle and a bottle of ibuprofen before your fingers grazed the cool screen. You picked up the device, nearly blinding yourself when you opened your eyes to see who was calling you at such an ungodly hour. Once your eyes adjusted to the screen’s brightness, the name ‘Stupid Kook’ was displayed across the top. You hesitantly swiped to answer.
“What in the flying fuck do you want,” You whisper yelled, propping your half-conscious body up with your elbow.
“Hey, baby,” He greeted, his voice dragging as if he was thinking too hard about his words. “Just wanted to hear your voice.”
You stopped breathing for a moment, not sure what you were supposed to say to his weird revelation. You had been having a weird thing with Rafe for a few months now. After many drinks, you would often finding yourself making out with him in a secluded area. Despite your random make out sessions, he had never once called you to simply hear your voice. In fact, he hadn’t even called you before. It was usually always a quick ‘wyd’ text at midnight and nothing more.
“That’s weird, you’ve never called me before,” You pointed out, “You’ve also never called me baby before, so what’s that about?”
“Mm, I don’t know. Always wanted to call you that before so why not? What are you up to, baby,” He asked, his words slurring together in a way that could only happen while under the influence.
“You’re high aren’t you,” You sighed. Of course, he was high. You should have known that from the get-go. Rafe Cameron wouldn’t have called you sober; he never even looked at you sober.
A brief silence hung over the line, Rafe’s heavy breathing being the only thing coming through the receiver. “Maybe a little. Had a rough day, so I went to see Barry and now I’m at Topper’s. Talking to you.”
You couldn’t help but let a small smile grace your features; a smile that was gone almost as soon as it came. You let your elbow fall from its position, your head falling back onto the pillow that was still warm from when you were asleep. “How sweet of you. What are you doing, anyways? Shouldn’t you be getting shitfaced and taking some innocent girl to bed?”
He let out an airy laugh before speaking. “The only one I’d like to take to bed is you, and we somehow always stop before it gets to that point. Anyways, it’s just me, Topper, and Kelce, and I started thinking about us in the back of my truck when we were outside. Before I knew what I was doing, you answered the phone.”
Your cheeks flared red as images of Rafe’s hands exploring your body flashed through your mind, the feeling of his ring on your skin igniting something inside of you. His mouth latching onto the sensitive spots of your neck as your moans filled his truck. You let your fingers ghost over your lips as if you could still feel his own on yours. More memories of him exploring your body in every way but the way you wanted him most were running through your mind. Every time you wanted to give in to him, give in to your urges, but you couldn’t.
“You know, I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want you and I hate it,” He started, his words still slow, “I hate it because you’ll never let me have you.”
“Rafe,” You groaned, running a hand over your tired face, “I don’t really feel like giving myself to someone who only talks to me when they’re drunk or high. Someone who would rather be caught dead than with a pouge.”
“You know it’s not like that, baby. It’s complicated,” He tried, and you could tell there was a hint of unfamiliar panic in his voice.
“It always is. Guess I’ll see or talk to you next time you get fucked up. Goodnight Rafe,” You whispered before hanging up on the boy, ignoring his desperate protests.
1:38 a.m.
You turned the shower water off before stepping out onto the cool tiled floor, water dripping from every part of your body. You chose to ignore the buzzing coming from your phone, moving to grab the towel hung on the back of your bathroom door. However, the buzzing started again as you were drying off your legs.
“Who the fuck,” You groaned as you wrapped the towel around your still wet body. ‘Stupid Kook’ was making a second appearance, much to your surprise. “Yes, Rafe?”
“What’s up your ass,” He laughed his infectious laugh. You could picture him throwing his head back and his glazed over eyes twinkling with amusement, something you had only seen when you found yourself admiring him from afar.
“Nothings up my ass. Just don’t know what your high ass wants this time.” You gripped your phone in your hand and started to walk back towards your room. Your parents had fallen asleep hours ago, so you had to make sure you were quiet. However, that deemed difficult in the darkest hours of the night in your already poorly lit house. You bumped your hip and stubbed your toe on just about anything that was out in the open. Once you were in your room, you hastily shut the door and flipped the light switch on.
“Hello! Hello! Hello! Where are you,” Rafe yelled, making you wince and pull the phone away from your ear.
“Jesus, dude. Calm down, I was walking back to my room,” You chastised, doing your best to hold your phone in between your ear and shoulder.
“What were you doing? I missed you,” He pouted.
You ignored the swelling you got in your heart and said, “I was leaving the bathroom. I just finished showering. What are you doing?”
You grabbed a clean pair of underwear and a shirt you had taken from JJ after you had thrown up over whatever you were wearing that night. Rafe began telling you what he was doing, which was quite literally nothing. However, he quickly dove into a spout of how you were naked and wet and how badly he wanted to see you without any clothes on. Your cheeks were burning as he went on and on about all of the sinful things he wanted to do to you. You let him ramble on a bit more as you turned the light off once you were clothed and ready for bed.
“Okay, that’s enough, Rafe,” You stopped him, pulling your blanket back so you could crawl in bed. “So, calling me two times within a week? You falling in love with me?”
It was so painfully obvious that it was a joke, but you could practically feel the tension radiating through your phone from Rafe’s end. His abrupt silence concerned you because this boy was far from silent when he was doped out.
“Maybe I am,” He finally got out, and you couldn’t detect any sarcasm in it.
“Sure you are,” You rolled your eyes, blaming exhaustion for briefly clouding your judgment, “If you were in love with me, you’d actually talk to me when you aren’t too fucked to remember your own name.”
You started picking at a loose thread on your blanket as you let your mind wander to what life would be life if you had an actual relationship with Rafe. Going to parties with him. Hanging around the Island Club with him and his friends. Him doing lines off your body before having his way with you.
“I will talk to you when I’m not high,” His voice broke you from your thoughts, “If that’s what you really want.”
“I do,” You said way too quickly, “I mean, yeah sure. That would be nice, I guess.”
“Just text me and I’ll answer.” You couldn’t stifle the yawn that escaped your lips, but you did try and hide it from Rafe. Your attempt was no good, though. “You’re tired, go to bed.”
“No, I’m fi-.”
“Goodnight, Y/N,” Rafe shouted over you, “Talk to you soon, baby.”
Rafe’s name popped up on your phone screen every few days after he had gotten drunk out of his mind or too high to do anything other than find your contact. You didn’t mind it at first, but after you had texted him during the day and those messages went unanswered, you grew hurt and annoyed. You had tried asking him why he wouldn’t respond, but he always found a way to change the subject. You wanted to ask him about it in person, but you hadn’t seen him in almost a month. You wanted to ask him why he couldn’t bother to pick up the phone when he was sober, but wasted no time in calling you as soon as he got his bump in.
One of the nights he called, you offered to have him come over because your parents were gone, but he said no. Made up some excuse about how he was staying with Topper for a while since Sarah cheated on him and he wanted to be there for his friend. You understood that, so you didn’t push him after that. Then, the next time you told him about a party everyone was going to and how you wanted to see him there. You even told him to bring the other two. That time he told you he was staying away from parties for a while, wanting to stay to himself for the most part due to the constant stress from his dad. You knew how Ward could be sometimes, so it wasn’t hard to believe him and move on from there.
You wanted to be mad to him for only acknowledging you when he was high, but you couldn’t be. You’ve always wanted to feel wanted by somebody, and he made you feel like that albeit only when he was far gone from reality. You could deal with it as long as you got to talk to him, no matter how insecure it made you. Well, you thought you could.
2:25
Your parents were gone for the night, so you opted to watch Marvel movies in the living room. You were so invested in watching Iron Man and shoving popcorn in your mouth that you didn’t feel your phone go off the first six times. Or the fifteen times after that. Not that you would have cared either way. You knew the only person it could be was the boy who never wanted you sober. The credits began rolling across the TV, so you finally decided to pick up your discarded phone. You were shocked to see Rafe had called you eight times and texted you thirteen. Overall, his texts said the same thing.
Why aren’t u answering me :(
Call me pls
I wanna talk to you baby
It was if he knew you were finally looking at your phone because his contact popped up not ten seconds later. You rolled your eyes, but reluctantly answered.
“Y/N! Where have you been,” He whined into the receiver, “I’ve been trying to call you for like two hours.”
“Watching movies,” Your words were sharp and short, not particularly wanting to talk to him right now. You’ve nearly reached your breaking point with him.
Rafe could immediately tell something was off with you by the way you sounded. “What’s wrong, baby? Are you okay?”
You took a deep breath in, setting your bowl of popcorn on the coffee table after you paused the end credit scene. You leaned forwards and planted your elbow on your knee as you held your head in annoyance.
“I’m fine, Rafe. I’m just getting fed up with you only wanting to talk to me when you’re high or drunk,” You started, “I used to be fine with it because it once every couple of weeks, but now it’s almost every day and it’s annoying. You told me to text you when you’re sober, and I did, but you never responded. I try and offer to come over to you or have you come to me, but you always have an excuse. I know you want to be there for Topper and you don’t really want to be around anyone right now, but that doesn’t mean I have to put up with it.”
“Y/N, I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just-It’s complicated. Please understand that,” He was practically begging you to listen to him.
“Rafey, are you coming back to play beer pong with us,” A female voice suddenly cut through the sudden sound of music.
Your breathing stopped and your heart felt like it was being squeezed by Rafe’s own hand. A wave of heartbreak crashed over your entire body. “‘I just don’t want to be around anyone’ huh? Thought you were just spending time with Topper for a while? You know, if you didn’t want to see me, all you had to do was say so,” You whimpered, hurt now mixing with your anger and annoyance.
“No, wait,” He tried, yelling at whoever came in the room to get out, “Y/N, please. It isn’t lik-“
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. It is like that, Rafe. It is exactly like that. You don’t want to see me, and that is fine. I get it. Why would you ever want to be seen with someone from the Cut? It doesn’t matter, though. Don’t call me anymore. You lied to me. That is not something that I can forgive,” Your tears were too strong to hold back now, “I don’t care for liars, Rafe Cameron, and you’re the biggest one of all.”
You quickly hung up and turned off your phone, throwing it towards the end of the couch so you weren’t tempted to grab it. You grabbed the large blanket from the back of the couch, picked another movie, and let your tears fall as it played in front of you.
“Honey,” Your moms gentle voice broke through, “You fell asleep on the couch.”
You slowly opened your eyes, letting them adjust to the bright light shining through the giant window. The headache hit you like a ton of brinks, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut in pain. Your mom was hovering over you, her hand on your shoulder and her soft eyes pretending to not notice how puffy your cheeks and red your eyes are.
“I guess so,” You mumbled, pushing yourself up into a sitting position, “I’ll go lay down in my room. I’m still tired.”
She gave you an understanding nod with a caring smile and helped you off the couch. Her hand lingered on your back as if she wanted to say something to you, but she decided to leave it alone for now. You would talk to her when you were ready, if you ever were. You gave her a thumbs up when she told you her and your father would be out again most of the day.
Your feet dragged as you stumbled back to your room, using the wall to keep you steady. You pushed the door open with your foot and gave your cat, who was laying on your bed as if she owned it, a stupid smile. You fell onto the bed and pulled her onto your chest as you turned your phone back on. You were scared to confront the actions from last night, but knowing Rafe, he probably wouldn’t have bothered to even send you a text about it. You were quickly proven wrong the moment your phone turned back on. The vibration from all of the texts, voicemails, and snapchats felt like it lasted for five straight minutes. Nearly all were from the boy you wanted nothing to do with. Although, you noticed a voicemail from Topper, who you forgot even had your number.
Um, hey its Topper. Look dude, I don’t know what happened, but Rafe is freaking out like a bitch right now. He keeps mumbling shit about how he fucked things up with, which I didn’t even know you two were a thing but whatever I don’t really care. He kicked everyone out of my house and has been calling and texting you for like thirty minutes straight now so please call him back, so he shuts the fuck up. If not for him, do it for my sanity before I kill him. Uh, yeah, thanks, bye.
You sighed deeply after the voicemail cut off, your heart rate increasing at the thought of Rafe being upset. If he was bad enough that Topper of all people called you, you knew it was bad. You wanted to not care because of how he made you feel, but you did. You’ve always cared about the blond boy more than you cared to admit. You finally decided to look at the messages he sent you.
Y/N pls call me back
I’m sorry its not what it looks like and I know that sounds stupid but its true
Pls talk to me. I need u to talk to me
I promise that I never wanted to hurt u ok???
I love you, Y/N. Please call me or I’m coming to your house tomorrow.
The world stopped spinning when you read the last message. You kept reading it over and over again as if you misread it the first time. Rafe had never been any kind of affectionate with you until he called you baby. Rafe Cameron was not someone known to get emotional, so you weren’t sure if you believed his words. He was a liar and would do anything to get what he wanted, so what was different now?
You heard a knock on the door followed by your moms muffled voice, but you were too focused on the situation in front of you to notice who it was. Your eyes were glued to the screen, staring at the three words you never thought anyone other than your family and friends would say to you. The world around you was fading away, your heart feeling as if it was going to beat out of your chest as tears slid down your still puffy cheeks. You weren’t going to let him do this to you. You weren’t going to let him toy with you anymore.
“Y/N,” A deep voice dragged you out of your subconscious.
Your eyes darted over to the door and saw the last person you wanted to see. Rafe was standing there, his eyes wide and blood shot and he looked like total shit. His hair was a wild mess, nothing like its usual tamed state. You met his gaze and you wished you hadn’t. One look from him and you were puddy in his hands. One look and every thought you had about never seeing him again flew out the window.
“Hey, can we talk,” He mumbled, his bright blue eyes looking everywhere but at you. “Please.”
Not trusting your words, you gave him a swift nod and gestured to the spot next to you on your bed. You leaned to the side and placed your cat on the ground, watching as she rubbed herself all over Rafe’s leg before scampering away. His walk to your bed was painfully slow, and you wanted to tell him to hurry up, but you knew that was unreasonable.
“What do you want, Rafe,” Your voice was harsh, trying to ignore the urge to reach out to him. “What do you want to talk about? How you only use me for your own pleasure? How you only ever even look at me when you’re drunk or high? How you lied to me? Wanna talk about that?”
Your anger surprised even yourself. One second you wanted to hold him in your arms and comfort him, but then the memory of how he treated you came back and flipped a switch in your brain. You don’t know how you feel and you hate it.
“I deserve every bit of your anger,” He breathed out, letting his hand fall dangerously close to your own, “But please let me explain everything to you, okay?”
“Fine,” You gave in, “Talk.”
“Yeah, thank you, okay. I really do want to talk to you when I’m not absolutely fucked, I do. I know that it doesn’t seem like that, but its true. I just, I can’t. Every time I look at you, think about you, I hear my dads voice screaming at me that I will never be good enough for anyone. I have this thought drilled into my head every day that no matter what I do, who I am, I am just never enough. To me, you’re no exception to that. In fact, you remind me even more. Wait no.”
Rafe rubbed both of his hands over his face and tugged at his hair, afraid that he’s already fucking this up. “Rafe,” You gently spoke up, turning to grab his hands from his face. “It’s fine. Keep going.”
His eyes met yours and you could see how strained he was. There were too many emotions swirling in his eyes for you to pinpoint exactly what he was feeling. “Okay, um, okay. To me, you are way too good for me, so the only time I feel comfortable talking to you is when I’m high. I’ve never had trouble talking to any girl before, but you’re more than that to me. You’re more than just some girl to me and it scares me, so I feel like I have to be, yanno, not me. When I talk to you. I want to be with you more than I have ever wanted to be with someone in my life”
Your hand was still holding his as you let his words sink in. Him revealing how his dad truly made him feel made your heart ache for him. It made you want to grab him by the face and tell him how he is more than good enough. You wanted to let him in, but you weren’t sure if you were ready for the risk that came along with it. You’re not sure if you want all the things that came with being with Rafe Cameron. He’s followed by hurt and lies, and you do feel guilty thinking that, but it’s been proven true countless times.
“Rafe, listen to me,” You began, moving so you were straddling him and holding his face in your hands. His hands immediately came to grip your hips, and you are well aware that this was a more than compromising situation. “I understand that your father is probably the worst person we both know, but that doesn’t excuse you lying to me. I don’t know if I can trust you, no matter how much I may want to.”
You watched as tears gather in his eyes, and he was doing his best to keep them at bay. He had never felt the way he feels about you before, and he’s more than aware that his reputation precedes him. He knows that he’s done nothing more than prove how untrusting he is to you, but he wouldn’t let that stop him from trying to prove to you that he means what he’s saying.
“I know that nothing I say will fix what I’ve already done. I know that, but I can show you just how much you mean to me, if you’ll let me. We can go at your pace. Do things your way. Just, please, give me another chance to prove myself to you.”
You’re searching for any detection of a lie in his eyes, in his voice, but you come up empty. You wipe away the stray tears that broke through his wall of protection. You hesitantly placed your forehead on his, and you could hear him take in a sharp breath at the connection. Your eyes fluttered closed, your nose brushing against his as you weighed all of your options.
“Did you mean what you to me? In your last text,” You whispered, too scared to open your eyes and look at him. “Do you actually love me?”
“More than you know,” His breath was hot against your chin, and he pulled you closer into him.
You decided to take a leap, dive into something that scared you more than anything. Your lips finally met his, and Rafe wasted no time in returning the feeling. Your hands fell from his cheeks and clasped each other behind his neck, while his hands stayed placed on your hips, too scared to push you too far. You deepened the passion filled kiss by pulling him closer to you and running your tongue across his bottom lip. Rafe’s lips moved in such a sensual way that you almost didn’t know how to react. It was much different from the lust filled kisses you’ve shared in the past. You started moving your hips on top of him, an action that had him gripping your hips tighter than before.
Y/N,” Rafe breathed out after he broke away from you, “If you don’t stop, I don’t know if I can control myself.”
“Then don’t.”
i have not edited this so if you see a mistake lmk. love u
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wheelsup · 3 years
Note
okay but can you imagine spencer washing your hair for you?
like, i never (ever) let anyone (at all) touch my hair, but i feel like he'd be really gentle about it, and there is just something so soft and tender to me about the idea of washing someone's hair for them đŸ„ș
that’s my dream <3 ik you didnt specifically ask for a blurb but i think about this very often. i wrote two versions of this, but this one (with two bickering best friends who are v much in love) won my heart. 
wc: 1.6k   contains: friends (to crushes, maybe ;) ), injured reader. gn!reader
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“Spence, I promise you that I can do it by myself,” you huffed, attempting to yank off your tank top as you walked toward the hotel bathroom, using only one arm while trying to keep the other as still as possible.
“I’d be more inclined to believe you if you didn’t sound like you were going to cry,” he snickered, following hot on your trail as you tried to escape his hovering. 
“You’re being dramatic.” 
“Oh really? Lift your arm up, then.” He leaned his hip against the marble counter, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited for you to do it. One obnoxiously smug eyebrow arched on his forehead.
Sometime during the case, you’d gotten into a brief tousle with a suspect, who just had to run away when approached. If Morgan had been there, you wouldn’t have even batted a lash, but he wasn’t. So not only had you detained him by yourself, you also wound up with a minor pulled muscle in your shoulder. 
You shot him a sarcastic smile, toothless and irritated, and raised your right arm into the air. He let out an airy scoff. 
“Other one, smart ass.”
Your arm dropped down to your side, your smile falling with it as you turned sharply towards the shower. 
“Look, I’m disgusting right now. So either I suck it up and shower, or you’re going to smell me until the day we solve this case.”
Spencer’s nose crinkled at the gross truth. He wasn’t ungentlemanly enough to tell you, but sharing a bed with a coworker was quite a quick way to discover if they were in need of a shower or not. Your shoulder might be out of service, but both of you could agree that hygiene was a bigger priority. 
“You can’t even move. Just
 just let me help you.”
You snorted. “Nice try, Reid. I’m not letting you shower with me.”
He rolled his eyes at your use of his last name. You only called him that when you were annoyed with him. He pushed off the counter and turned to the wall, hitting the light switch and earning a shriek from you as the room suddenly went dark. 
“I won’t look,” he shrugged, amusing no one but himself. 
“You’re a clown, you know that?” you muttered under your breath, drawing back the shower curtain and fumbling around, searching for the knobs in pitch black. “Absolutely fucking theatrical.” 
You found them moments later and ran the water, testing the temperature on the back of your hand. By the time it went from cold to warm, you noticed that he still hadn’t moved. From the sliver of light peeking under the door, you could make out just his silhouette in the corner, perched on the vanity. 
He was being stubborn about this. That, and the comforting fact that you couldn’t see a single thing –– thankfully, not even his face –– wore you down.
“Close your eyes,” you murmured. 
“It’s already pitch black in here ––”
“Close your eyes, Reid.”
Sighing through his nose, he did just that. To make sure you knew it, and also maybe just to be annoying, he made a show of getting off the counter and turning himself around to face the wall. You peeled out of your clothes as quickly as you could. In the process, you caught the long shower curtain under the heel of your foot and, as you stumbled over it, accidentally dragged it along, sending the metal curtain hooks screeching as they slid along the bar.  
The second you found your ground, you immediately shot daggers into the back of Spencer’s head, waiting for him to make a joke. As if he could feel them, he bit back his quip. Not without letting a barely contained cackle slip under his breath. 
“Okay,” you warned, stepping into the shower. Grabbing the end of the shower curtain, you pulled it tightly over your body to cover yourself as you poked your chin out to talk to him. “I’m in.”
Spencer turned and approached the shower, eyes still shut with his hands out in front of him, feeling the walls for guidance. He was still mocking you for making him close his eyes. You raised your brows; he must’ve thought he was quite funny. 
“You look like Velma when she loses her glasses.”
That knocked the funny bone right out of him. His hands dropped to his sides.
“Just get your hair wet and hand me the shampoo.” 
You drew the curtain shut again as you dipped your head under the shower stream, coming back moments later with sopping wet hair and a little bottle of complimentary hotel shampoo. 
He let you sit on the floor of the bathtub, just slightly removed from the spray of the water. Your back was to him, as he kneeled down on the tile floor, just outside of the bathtub so he didn’t have to get wet. You bent your knees to your chest, resting your chin on them.
Spencer first pushed up the sleeves of his sweater as far as he could before deciding to remove it altogether for the sake of protecting the wool against stray water. The cuffs of his work shirt were unbuttoned and rolled up to his elbows as he got to work.
Taking a healthy quarter-sized amount of shampoo into his palm, he lathered it between his hands before running soapy fingers through your scalp. The pads of his fingertips softly dug in as he carefully massaged the shampoo in.
When he started working his fingers in patterns, putting pressure near your temples and increasing it as he dragged them up the curve of your scalp, you let your eyes close. He was getting rid of a headache you didn’t even realize you had. 
The tension you’d been carrying in your shoulders eased a little, and it made him think about how much you probably needed this. One of his hands came down to massage the muscle between your neck and your good shoulder, knowing it was best to just let the hot water do its magic on the bad one. 
When the shampoo had been sufficiently lathered, he stood up and detached the shower head, bringing it down to you so you didn’t have to move. You leaned your head back for him as he carefully rinsed the soap out.
You weren’t going to ask, but thank God Spencer told you to hand him the conditioner next. This, he slathered all over the ends of your hair, making sure all of it was sufficiently covered in conditioner before loosely twisting it into a low, makeshift pony for you. 
“Mm. I was about to ask how you’re so good at haircare,” you chuckled lowly to yourself, in a half-sleepy voice with your forehead resting on your knees. Dangerously close to falling asleep. “Then I remembered what you used to look like.”
You had a lazy smile on your face just thinking about the days where Spencer’s hair used to be down to his shoulders. He looked so pretty like that (not that he didn’t look pretty now, too), you always wondered why he got rid of it. 
“Remember when I got shot in the knee?” he hummed, returning to work your shoulder. He adorned a tiny smile of his own as he started to reminisce. “You came by my house at least once a week. Brought me meals, watched movies with me. Helped distract me from the pain. Even drove me to my physical therapy appointments.” 
You mm-hmm’d that you remembered.
“You pretty much did everything shy of helping me bathe. Though, I feel like you would’ve helped with that, too, if I asked.”
You both laughed at that. You hadn’t really noticed the parallels of your situation, being injured and needing his help for once. He was happy to repay the favor. 
“I’ll, uh. Let you wash your body yourself,” he said, coming out of his daydream for a moment. He rinsed his hands off and got up, patting down his wet hands on his trousers. With one nod from you to confirm that you’d be able to do it, he quickly exited the bathroom to give you privacy. 
You emerged seventeen minutes later, clad in pajamas with towel-dried hair. Spencer was still awake as you crawled onto the bed beside him, more than ready for bed after that. He looked to the side to ask you how the rest of your shower was, and before he could get it out, you shuffled up next to him, winding one arm around his and resting your head on his chest.
“I take it you had a good shower?” he laughed. This was one of his “I told you so” moments, and for once, you didn’t mind it. 
“Mhm,” you smiled, chuckling behind it as you shut your eyes. You were falling asleep fast. “Spence, the scalp massage
” 
“Was good, right?” he boasted, inflating his own ego a bit. 
You nodded against his shoulder, not caring if you helped blow up his ego another two sizes. Burrowing deeper into the covers, nestling tighter against Spencer, you got one more quip in before falling asleep. “S’good that I think I have a crush on you now.” 
Joke or not, he pulled the blanket higher until it reached your chin, holding you with both arms and kissing the top of your head before falling asleep himself.
*
*
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weepinglevi · 3 years
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summary: fem!reader and porco get it on in the bathroom. porco has his phone to document everything for colt, who is reader's boyfriend. all aged up to be 21+. warnings: 18+ minors dni. infidelity! semi-public sex, slight dacryphilia, heavy dirty talk, mirror sex, creampie - reader doesn't know he's filming at first but is okay with it. also poor colt :( word count: around 1.6k beta reader: the most wonderful @1252291 came through. love you to the moon and back. <3 A/N: contribution to my adult movie tropes collab! pock brainrot is strong with this one. i hope you enjoy and feedback is always greatly appreciated. take care and lots of love. xx
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you know it’s wrong.
the moment he closes the door behind him and turns the key, you’re torn between wanting to push him away and pulling him in even closer. leaning against the cold porcelain of the sink, you take a shaky breath. outside, they’re playing music and you hear annie’s shrieking laugh.
outside is the party colt took you to. to meet his friends, as he had put it.
now you’re here, in a small bathroom at an unknown house, not with colt – but with porco galliard. heart beating heavy in your chest as he lets his eyes wander over your body, you feel small and pathetic. still, the longing that has brought you here is slowly catching fire, turning into lust.
he doesn’t say a word when he takes a step toward you, placing his hands on your hips and grabbing them tightly. his grip is sure to leave a bruise but with how he breathes against your ear, you don’t care anymore. “i-“
“shh, you’re gonna kill the mood,“ porco chuckles and dips his head down, driving the flat of his tongue against your collarbone before pulling away and blowing against it, causing you to shiver and the tiny hairs on your body to stand up in anticipation.
you know it’s wrong, know you shouldn’t allow him to hook his hands under your thighs and lift you up so you can sit on the edge of the sink – so why are you wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling him in even closer than he already was?
“fuck, you’re needy, aren’t you,” he rests his forehead against yours, voice coming deep and stirring the heat in your belly, making you feel as if you’re about to implode, “he doesn’t know how to fuck you in the right way, huh?”
there’s no need for you to answer, no need to state the obvious, so you stretch your neck to close the small distance between his lips and yours, crashing against him. tasting the bitterness of the vodka he had just minutes ago, you close your eyes and let a whimper escape. he’s right.
he’s laughing against your lips now, knowing you agree with him.
“he shouldn’t have brought you here.” leaning back, his eyes seem to be darker than before and his pushed back hair is starting to come loose, “should’ve known i’d be all over his pretty little girlfriend.”
even though you hate yourself for it, you nod.
“that’s right,” he brings his hand up to your jaw, grazing his thumb against your lower lip and then pushing into your mouth, index and middle finger soon to follow, “make sure they’re nice and wet, we don’t have much time.”
he’s not nice and doting, not asking what you want like colt always does. he just takes with expectations – ones you are more than willing to meet. so you lock your eyes with his as you gag on his fingers alone, knowing to heed his warning; you try to soak them in your own drool.
when your eyes are brimming with tears, he pushes down even further, causing you to cough and the tears to flow over.
“crying, already?” he coos. “he must treat you like you’re made of glass, hm?”
leaving you gasping for air when he finally pulls out, he breaks free from the hold your legs had around his waist. there’s a short laugh leaving him when he’s giving you another once-over and then nods.
“stand up,” tugging at your dress, he seems impatient, “told you we don’t have a lot of time.”
as soon as you slide down, porco turns you around and presses you up against the sink, cold stone digging into your hips as he bends you forward. looking up, you see the reflection of yourself and him in the mirror in front of you. catching a glimpse of his smirk, you look back down.
as long as you’re not looking at him, you wouldn’t feel as bad and that’s why you train your gaze on how your hands are grabbing the edge of the sink.
his hands slip under your dress, he’s quick to pull your panties aside before gliding his thumb through your slick folds. “so wet already.”
one hand placed on your ass, thumb holding your underwear in place, he slides his fingers into you without any warning. your walls tighten around him instantly, causing you to bite down on your tongue to hold back the moan that otherwise would’ve filled the room.
“c’mon, tell me how good i feel,” his digits pumping in and out of your already throbbing cunt, obscene sounds bouncing off the tiled walls, “how much better i feel than he does.”
“some-” - trying to collect your thoughts while also fucking yourself onto porco’s fingers leaves you breathless, “someone’s gonna hear.”
all he does is laugh when he pulls out one final time and goes to circle your clit, leaving you to clench around nothing and bucking onto the ball of his thumb until he completely pulls away from you.
legs already shaking and head hanging low, you hear him unbuckling his belt and spit into the palm of his hand. the groan coming from him sends waves of heat up your spine and you try to brace yourself for what’s going to follow.
pulling your panties down and bunching up your dress in one hand, the thick head of porco’s dick is already pushing into of you, causing you to hold your breath because you know he isn’t planning on letting you adjust to his size.
and you were right. even with his fingers stretching you out, you’re struggling to fit him but he keeps on pressing into you, leaving you to suck in the air through gritted teeth.
“look at her,” you hear coming from behind, “how hard she tries.”
with your brain in a haze, you know you should wonder about what he’s saying but you don’t. you’re too concentrated on how good he feels inside of you. and how wrong at the same time, but this only makes your pulse quicken even more.
to know the others are in the room next door, having no clue about how you’re being spread open on porco’s dick, having no idea that you’re nothing but a cheating whore, has walls fluttering around his length.
and when he finally bottoms out, he starts pulling back out. at a mind numbingly slow pace, you feel him come to a halt before he leaves you feeling empty again.
“don’t stop,” being the only thing to leave your lips, “porco, i dare-“
“hear her begging?” he places his hand on your hip and pulls you back onto his dick, “i bet she never begs like this when you’re the one fucking her.”
driving his hips forward again, he hits the bundle of nerves inside of you that makes you forget about how you wanted to be quiet. the moan escaping your lips as he switches to a steady pace.
“oh, she sounds so sweet,” his laugh is breathless this time, “you never told me how good she sounds, colt.”
as soon as you hear the name of your boyfriend, you look into the mirror to see porco holding his phone in one hand, obviously filming himself thrusting into your cunt. stuttering in your movements, he lifts his gaze from his phone and smirks back at your reflection in the mirror.
“c’mon now, keep fucking yourself on my cock,” he reaches forward, wrapping his free hand around your throat, “be a good girl for me, and i might let you do it again.”
raising the phone, he now films your reflection.
and you know you shouldn’t look straight into the camera and push back onto porco. it’s too late now, you think, too late to go back so you might as well enjoy yourself.
“tell him how good i feel,” his words are coming slurry now.
and with his tight balls slapping against your clit, with him continuously hitting the right spot, you nod, “feels- feels so good.”
“that’s what i thought,” letting go of your throat, he quickened his pace, “little whore that you are- one dick isn’t enough for you, huh?”
his hand sliding down your side, he reaches in front of you to rub circles against your clit again. the sensation of watching him do that, hearing him moan as you clench your walls around his dick and at the thought of all of it being filmed for your boyfriend to watch has you losing your mind.
“you-“ you turn your head to him now, graze your lips against his jaw, “your dick is enough.”
“hear- hear that, colt,” he groans, “my-“
his hips stuttering against your ass, he places the phone on the counter in front of you, grabbing your hips instead.
seeing him losing his cool pushes you over the edge, slapping one hand over your mouth to muffle the sound of your moans as your whole body trembles, heat rushing over you with every thrust he makes.
porco shoves your hand away the moment he realizes you’re trying to stay quiet, “let him hear.”
and you do. you couldn’t care less at this point, so the breathed “you fuck me so good,” flows from your lips naturally.
his fingers dig into your soft skin as he pulls you down onto his dick and holds you there, pumping his hot load into you, his cock twitching inside of you as a low “fuuuck-“ leaves him.
you stay like this for only a few seconds, and then he reaches back for his phone, turning the camera to face him. he makes a peace-sign before bringing it back between the two of you, filming how he pulls out of your cunt.
“will you look at that,” he spreads your cheeks to allow a better view.
feeling his and your cum drip down your thighs, you shudder at the thought of what you’ve just done – and even more when you realize how badly you want to do it again.
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junghelioseok · 4 years
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clandestine. | 01
↳ forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.
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◇ jungkook x reader ◇ smut | fluff | brother’s best friend!au ◇ 10.3k [1/6]
notes: this fic was originally going to be a oneshot, but i changed my mind and decided i didn’t want to kill tumblr with a totally unnecessary 50k jk fic so đŸ€·đŸ»â€â™€ïž here is part one of a fic that 100% only came about because @puellaigmotum​ coerced me into it like 2 years ago (lmao rip 💀) and also bc i have zero self-control and am hopelessly h*rny for jungkook these days and don’t look at me i don’t wanna talk about it okay??? 🙈
warnings: jk’s massive noona kink, some ~under the table~ action, too much detail about jk’s dumb veiny arms probably, but at least he doesn’t have tattoos bc i started writing this before he got them and i don’t need to torture myself anymore than i already do!!!
⇱ 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 
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It’s always been easy to spot your brother in a crowd. Passengers flood off the train, jostling around you on their way to the station’s exit, but even in the swarm you can perfectly see Jimin’s golden head of hair bobbing its way toward you, a deep scowl etched across his face. “You’re late,” he says in lieu of a greeting, his honey brown eyes raking over your scuffed suitcase distastefully as he comes to a stop a few feet away.
“And you’re just as impatient as ever,” you retort, coming to a stop before him with your luggage in tow. “Think you can lord it over me since you can drive now?”
“Don’t forget that I’m your ride home,” Jimin scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I could just as easily leave you here to fend for yourself.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” you tell him, raising a brow in silent challenge.
Jimin stares down at you unflinchingly, and you stare right back. The tension stretches between you, taut and heavy, until every passing second feels like a light year. Around you, the crowd slowly dissipates, but still you remain—two motionless statues locked in a wordless struggle. From somewhere overhead, a monotone voice announces the next train departure times.
Jimin’s mouth twitches. You blink, twice in quick succession.
And then your little brother breaks into a grin—one that’s so wide you fear his mouth may detach from his face entirely. An answering smile settles across your face as you watch him throw his head back, dissolving into laughter that you can’t help but echo.
“Damn it, Chim!” you say, instinctively grabbing onto his wrist when it looks like he might fall over. “Your poker face still sucks.”
“I’ve gotten better!” Jimin immediately defends. “I mean, you’ve got to admit that, right?”
“Nope.” You sigh and hold a hand over your head so you can measure your height against his ever-so-slightly taller frame. “Same old annoying kid I grew up with. Seriously, have you grown at all in the past year?”
“Whoa, too far, Noona.” Jimin takes ahold of both of your cheeks, pinching them affectionately. “You’re only a year older than me, you know. Besides, I’ve been taller than you for two years now!”
“I’m pretty sure hitting puberty at age seventeen isn’t something to be proud of,” you reply, pulling away from him with a mock grimace and giggling when he lets out an offended squeak. Playfully, you reach up to ruffle his hair, scrubbing your knuckles just a little too roughly against his skull.
“Noonaaa,” he complains, drawing out the last syllable until he runs out of air. “Jeez, you haven’t even been back for an hour yet and you’re already being mean to me. When do you go back to Seoul again?”
“Three weeks,” you reply, narrowing your eyes. “But I can and will make these three weeks hell for you. Don’t test me.”
Jimin snickers and drapes his arm over your shoulders. He picks up your suitcase with the other hand, and you thank him with another, gentler hair ruffle as the two of you start toward the exit of the train station. “College hasn’t changed you one bit.”
“And senior year hasn’t changed you,” you say, letting him guide you outside and breathing in the balmy summer evening air. Jimin’s brow furrows as he tries to remember where he’s parked, and you kindly take your suitcase back when he nods decisively and heads toward the left side of the lot. “You excited to graduate?”
He sighs, fumbling in his pocket for the keys as the two of you approach the car. “It’s going to suck. Your ceremony was boring as hell last year.”
“Wow, rude.”
Jimin looks up from where he’s unlocking the driver’s side door. “Am I wrong, though?”
You flash him a grin as he unlocks the remaining doors, heaving your suitcase into the backseat before sliding into the passenger seat beside him. “Nope. But afterward, you’ll be done with high school forever.”
“Thank god.” Your brother rakes a hand through his hair, mussing it further as he carefully starts the ignition and checks his mirrors with all the diligence of a new driver. Once satisfied, he pulls out of the parking space, meandering his way out of the lot and onto the main street.
The ride back to your childhood home is a short one, full of familiar storefronts and landmarks that dredge up all sorts of fond memories. You hadn’t expected your first year of university—away from your family and your hometown—to make you quite so emotional. But before you know it, Jimin is making the turn into your neighborhood, and you can’t stop the way your eyes begin to well up when you see your house in the distance.
As if reading your mind, Jimin glances at you as he pulls into the driveway. “Feel good to be home?”
You nod, blinking back tears. “Feels great.”
He grins. Pulling the key from the ignition, he climbs out of the car and grabs your suitcase, waving for you to head inside. Eagerly, you start toward the front door, but you barely make it halfway up the driveway when it bursts open, revealing your father standing there with open arms and an enormous grin. He’s just as tall as you remember, and looks exactly the same save a few more strands of silver lacing his hair. All of a sudden, you’re a little girl again, running up to give him a hug and giggling madly when he tries to scoop you up like he used to do so many years ago.
“Hi Dad,” you greet when he gives up and sets you back down on two feet. “Where’s Mom?”
“Cooking up a storm,” he replies, chortling. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, he leads you into the kitchen where your mother is hunched over the stove with a spatula, delicious aromas wafting up from the array of pots and pans in front of her. “Honey, look who’s home!”
“Hi Mom,” you say, grinning when she whirls around, startled. The spatula, still dangling loosely from her hand, drips sauce onto the tiled floor, but she barely notices in her eagerness to give you a hug, throwing it down into one of the simmering pots and striding forward to wrap you up in a tight embrace.
“How was your trip?” she asks, pulling back and angling your face this way and that. “Did you sleep on the ride? Did Jimin drive safely?”
The last question draws a protesting whine from your brother, who has lugged your suitcase over the threshold and is now seated at the dining table, fiddling with a spoon. “My driving was fine, right Noona?” he says, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout.
“Yes, Chim,” you agree, laughing at the pleased expression that overtakes his face. Curiously, you walk over to the stove to inspect the food, your jaw dropping as you take in the assorted vegetables and meats. “Wow, Mom. Are you cooking for an army?”
“Jungkook is coming over for dinner,” she explains, following you over and plucking up the spatula again. “That boy has the biggest appetite I’ve ever seen—you remember, right?”
You laugh. “Of course I remember. He and Jimin were always stealing bites of my lunch at school.” Peering over at your brother, you fix him with a mock glare before walking over to the cutting board on the counter and sizing up the pile of onions and peppers sitting there. “It’ll be nice to see him again, though. How is he doing?”
To your surprise, a new voice answers your question—a voice that somehow manages to be simultaneously familiar and foreign. “Why don’t you ask me directly, Noona?” it says, and you whirl around, wide-eyed, to face the newcomer.
This can’t possibly be Jeon Jungkook, is your first thought upon seeing the young man standing in the kitchen doorway. The Jungkook you knew in high school was a scrawny kid—all gangly limbs and a nose that was too big for his face. The Jungkook you knew wore oversized white t-shirts that made him look even younger than he was, a look that was only enhanced by round wire-rimmed glasses that always gave him a look of permanent astonishment. The Jungkook you knew was nowhere near this tall, and definitely not this broad.
But this Jungkook—this Jungkook takes up nearly the entire doorframe with his bulk. Dark eyes stare at you from beneath equally dark hair, his gaze unhindered by his old glasses. A cobalt blue shirt stretches tight over his chest, and you swallow when you notice just how much the buttons are straining to contain the muscle underneath. Black jeans and simple black sneakers complete his outfit, and the entire look is so jarringly different from what you’re used to that you are left momentarily speechless, gaping like a fish out of water. Vaguely, you wonder when he got his ears pierced.
And then Jungkook—or at least, the young man claiming to be Jungkook—takes three steps forward, his entire face melting into a crinkly-eyed grin. You catch a glimpse of the adorably prominent front teeth that always made him look like a rabbit, and that’s all it takes to break the spell.
“Jungkookie!” you exclaim, darting forward to greet him. “It’s been so long!”
“Hi, Noona,” he replies, his grin widening at your approach. In an instant, he has you wrapped up in an embrace, easily lifting you off the floor in a display of strength that would’ve had a lesser woman swooning. His hands curl firmly around your waist, and you have no choice but to wrap yours around his nape, squeaking in protest when he spins you in a full circle.
“Kookie!” you gasp, wriggling helplessly in his grasp and huffing when he only cackles. “Put me down!”
Obediently, Jungkook lowers you back to the ground. His hands linger on your waist until he’s certain that both your feet are planted firmly, and it’s only then that he pulls back to get a good look at your face. “You know I’d never drop you, right?” he asks innocently.
“As if I can trust anything that comes out of your mouth,” you retort with a laugh. “I’ve seen you scam your way out of detention with those pretty doe eyes. Don’t try me, kid.”
Jungkook snorts. “Kid? I’m not that much younger than you. Plus I’m older than Jimin, y’know.”
“By a month!” your brother protests from the dining room, his blond head popping up from behind the vase of daisies serving as a centerpiece.
“Month and a half,” Jungkook stage-whispers to you, cupping a hand and bringing his mouth to your ear conspiratorially. His breath tickles your cheek, and you swat him away with a giggle that becomes a full-on laugh when Jimin lets out an offended cry and rises to his feet. Striding over, he pokes Jungkook squarely in the chest, his eyes narrowed.
“I invite you over to my house and this is the thanks I get?”
Your dad chooses that moment to interrupt from the living room. “Your house? When exactly did you start paying rent, Jimin?”
Jimin’s jaw drops. “Are you taking his side?” he asks in disbelief, glaring at Jungkook when he starts laughing. “I’m your son!”
“I’m your father,” your dad replies.
“And I’m your mother,” your mom pipes up, brandishing a spoon. “And I’m telling all of you to get your butts over to that dining table in the next ten seconds, or no dinner for any of you.”
Your dad, Jimin, and Jungkook immediately fall silent, cowed by her proclamation. Grinning, you join your mother at the counter, grabbing a handful of spoons and accepting the platter of kimchi she hands over. “Direct as always, Mom.”
She laughs and picks up a bowl of rice. “To deal with men like them? You have to be.”
Food in hand, you make your way into the dining room. The table is set, the steaming food arranged neatly in the center, and you watch as your mother takes her seat next to Jimin and leaves you to sit beside Jungkook on the opposite side. Your father beams from his spot at the head of the table, glancing at each of you in turn before turning and giving your shoulder an affectionate squeeze.
“Look at you kids, all sitting at the same table again.” He sighs, and you’re certain that he’s thinking back to the last time all of you were together—well over a year ago, at this point. “It’s a shame that your parents couldn’t join us, though, Jungkook.”
Jungkook nods. “Yeah, they told me to apologize on their behalf. They have tickets for the theatre tonight, and couldn’t get a refund on them.”
Your father laughs and waves the apology off. “I’m sure we’ll catch them next time,” he says. “Pretty hard to avoid each other when you live next door, isn’t it?”
“Definitely,” Jungkook agrees with a chuckle. Then he turns to you, the silver hoops in his ears glinting in the light from the overhead chandelier. “I’m sure they’ll drop by soon to see you, Noona. Mom wants to hear all about Seoul—I think she’s worried about sending me so far away by myself.”
“Junghyun stayed in Busan for university, didn’t he?” your mom asks.
Jungkook nods. “Yep, he still lives downtown and everything. He wanted to come over tonight, but his work wouldn’t let him take the time off.”
Your mom sighs. “That’s such a shame. Is he at least attending your graduation?”
“He’s driving in the day after tomorrow for the ceremony,” Jungkook confirms. Then he pauses, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. His gaze flickers down to the plate of sweet potatoes on the other side of the table, and before he can even open his mouth, your mother is already passing him the plate. He thanks her with an embarrassed chuckle but digs into the food nonetheless, and everyone else takes it as a sign to follow suit. You’re in the middle of scooping rice into your bowl when Jimin speaks up again.
“So what’s it like living in Seoul?” he asks, his cheeks bulging with pork belly. “You have roommates, right?”
“Suitemates,” you correct. “But yeah, I live with three other people. Namjoon, Hoseok, and Jennie are all great though, so it hasn’t been a problem.”
Jungkook pauses mid-chew to gape at you. “You live with guys?”
“My building’s co-ed,” you explain. “We all have separate bedrooms, but we share a common space and bathrooms.”
Your mother—on the lookout for any potential future grandchildren, as always—perks up. “Namjoon and Hoseok sound like nice boys. Are you friends?”
“Yes, Mom,” you sigh. “We’re friends. Just friends.” And then before she can ask about whether or not any other boys have caught your eye, you quickly turn back to your brother. “So, what’s your plan for next year? Are you and Jungkook living together?”
Jimin hums. “Yep, that’s the plan. Unless you want to live with us too, Noona.”
You laugh. “Why, so I can protect you from all the bullies like I did in elementary school?”
He flashes you a cheeky grin. “More like so I can protect you from all the weird college guys. Who’s this Hoseok guy anyway? Do I need to beat him up?”
“Please don’t beat up Hobi,” you entreaty, giggling when he pretends to crack his knuckles. “Or Joon!” you add quickly when he remains undeterred and makes to stand up from the table to defend your honor. Balling up your napkin, you throw it at him, and both of you burst into hysterics when your makeshift weapon bounces off his forehead and straight into his glass of water. The rest of dinner passes in a haze of similarly playful antics and happy chatter, and by the time the last bowl is scraped clean, it feels as if you’d never even left.
“I’ll do the dishes,” you volunteer, standing up and gathering up the empty platters. Jungkook and Jimin are quick to jump to your aid, collecting any utensils that you missed, and you offer them a grateful smile as they follow you into the kitchen.
“Let me do the washing, Noona.” Jungkook rolls up the sleeves of his cobalt blue shirt to expose a familiar silver watch glinting on his left wrist—a watch that his father handed down to him when he was sixteen, and that had been worn by his grandfather before him. You still remember the day he’d first worn it to school, proudly displaying it even though the band was too loose around his narrow wrist.
He’s grown into it now, you realize. The watch no longer flops around like it used to, and sits snugly in place instead. Your eyes trace the silver buckle on the inside of his wrist before trailing up to follow the network of thin, branching veins in his forearm, admiring the smooth flex of muscle as he grabs a sponge from the wire rack hanging above the sink and squirts some dish soap onto the surface.
“I’ll dry,” Jimin chirps, selecting a towel and brandishing it. “Noona, do you want to help me? We’ll finish faster that way.”
Nodding, you pull another towel out from the drawer and rejoin the two boys at the sink. Jungkook washes quickly and efficiently, and you determinedly avoid staring at the way water trickles along the patchwork veins on his hands as he gives you bowl after bowl to dry.
It doesn’t take long for all the dishes to be washed and dried. The three of you take the time to put them back into the proper cabinets before bidding your parents a good night, heading out onto the back porch. Falling back into old routines feels like second nature, so you plop down onto the steps without hesitation and grin when Jungkook takes a seat beside you.
“Wait, I almost forgot!” Jimin exclaims, bouncing up from where he was beginning to sit down next to Jungkook. “I bought some beer earlier and left it in the trunk. Be right back!”
You watch your brother run off, his floppy blond hair a stark contrast with the deep blue evening sky. In seconds, he’s disappeared around the corner of the house, leaving you and Jungkook alone on the porch steps.
“Chim really hasn’t changed one bit,” you remark with a laugh, turning toward your dark-haired companion.
Jungkook chuckles. “The kid loves his alcohol, that’s for sure.”
“Please.” You elbow him in the ribs. “I know you’re just as bad as he is.”
“Maybe,” he concedes with another chuckle. “But come on, Noona, you can’t tell me you don’t enjoy a drink every now and then. What about all that college stress?”
You hum, leaning back on your hands and staring up at the sky where the full moon is just beginning to rise, surrounded by a smattering of stars peeking through the velvety darkness of night. “I never said that I didn’t enjoy a drink, or five.” Jungkook laughs at your remark, and you smile before letting out a soft sigh. “I’m glad Jimin got the beer, though. Maybe I’ll finally be able to stop stressing out about my internship.”
That sobers Jungkook up immediately, his eyes widening as he peers down at you and lays a gentle hand on your back. “Are you still worried? You already got the job, didn’t you?”
You nod slowly, thinking back to the job offer that you had accepted at the end of the semester. It had been difficult finding a company in your desired field that offered internships to first-year students, but with dogged persistence and a lot of luck, you’d managed to snag a summer position. It isn’t due to start for another three weeks, however, and while you’re grateful for the chance to visit your family, part of you also wishes that you didn’t have to wait such a long time. “I just have no idea what to expect, you know? The only jobs I’ve ever had were in retail and food service, and that was all ages ago. I don’t feel ready at all.”
A strong arm settles across your shoulders, and you look up to see Jungkook gazing down at you with something indiscernible sparkling in his deep brown eyes. “You’re gonna be amazing,” he murmurs, his voice whisper-soft. “You know that, right? You always are. This won’t be any different.”
And you believe him. Every detail of his face is bathed in silvery moonlight—the gentle slope of his nose, the sharp angle of his jaw, the little scar high on his cheekbone—and you wonder how you never realized how handsome he is before now. And maybe it’s the low, soothing timbre of his voice, or maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you—with unspeakable tenderness and gentle affection glimmering in his irises—but you lean in before you can even realize what you’re doing. You don’t look away, and neither does he.
Jungkook’s gaze drops, trailing down the slope of your cheeks until it lands on the curve of your mouth. He hesitates for a split second, his throat bobbing harshly as he swallows and sucks in a breath.
And then his lips are pressing against yours—soft and tentative and just a little bit chapped. Your eyes flutter shut almost on instinct, your body relaxing as he shifts and pulls you a little more firmly against him. Slowly, his arm finds its way to the curve of your waist and settles there. Your fingers curl around his nape, carding through his silky hair.
It’s only when Jungkook’s tongue darts out to run along the seam of your lips that reality comes crashing back down, your stomach plummeting down to somewhere around your toes as you wrench away from his embrace. “Kookie!” you gasp, your breathing labored. “We can’t!”
Jungkook blinks, momentarily entrancing you with the way the stars reflect in his gaze like glittering diamonds. “Why not?” he asks, reaching out for you again. “You kissed me back, didn’t you?”
Squeaking, you bat his hands away. “Jungkook, no! We can’t! You’re Jimin’s best friend, and god, this is all kinds of weird, and—“
The dark-haired young man looks like he wants to protest more, but the sound of footsteps coming back around the house sends both of you scooting back to your original positions on the porch steps. Jimin appears two seconds later, plopping down beside Jungkook cheerfully and dropping a six-pack of beer at his feet.
“What’d I miss?” he asks, seemingly oblivious to the tension lingering in the air as he pops open a bottle and hands it to you.
“Nothing,” you say immediately, accepting the proffered beer. The cool glass bottle is a welcome relief, and you hurriedly take a long sip when your mind unwillingly begins to wander back to just how warm and soft your dark-haired companion’s lips had been.
Jungkook is much slower to respond to Jimin’s question. His shoulders slump as he reaches down to grab a drink of his own, twisting the cap open viciously and taking a swig. “Yeah,” he mutters, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Nothing at all.”
Luck must be on your side, because Jimin doesn’t seem to notice anything amiss as he grabs a beer for himself and flops backward, resting his weight on his elbows as he gazes up at the night sky. “It’s nice out,” he remarks, looking utterly at ease.
You are anything but. Beside you, Jungkook is sipping pensively on his beer, and you are painfully aware of the heat radiating off his body. Jimin is still chattering away, rambling about whatever pops into his head, and you take the opportunity to sneak a glance at Jungkook. His face is cast in silvery luminescence from the moon, his mouth pulled down into a deep, contemplative frown—and you are once again forced to shake off thoughts of how nice it felt to have his mouth pressed against yours.
This is Jeon Jungkook, you tell yourself sternly. Friend, neighbor, and Jimin’s best friend in the entire universe. You kissed him, sure, but it was a mistake. A moment of weakness. And it won’t happen again.
You repeat that over and over, silently reciting it in your head like a mantra, until, at last, you finally start to believe it.
///
You’re in the middle of brewing a fresh pot of coffee after a lazy morning spent sleeping in when you spot Jungkook outside through the kitchen window. He’s standing in the yard in a sleeveless white tee, wiping at his forehead with the back of his hand as he thoughtfully regards the row of hedges that serves as the property line between your house and the Jeons’ house next door. In his other hand is a shovel, and you can’t help the way your gaze automatically traces his exposed biceps, admiring the way they flex when he finally selects a spot and begins digging.
“Is the coffee done yet, Noona?”
Jimin’s voice yanks your attention away from your gardening neighbor, your vision overtaken by a mess of fluffy blond bedhead as he sneaks into the space between you and the counter and obnoxiously cuts you off from the pot of fresh brew. “Hey!” you protest, but Jimin just gives you a cheeky wink before grabbing a mug and pouring out a generous helping of piping hot coffee. After a moment’s thought, he pours you a mug as well, handing it over with an exaggerated bow.
You roll your eyes, but accept the warm cup nonetheless. Following him into the living room, you make yourself comfortable on the couch as he flops down onto the carpeted floor and turns on the television. Idly, he begins flipping through the channels in search for something to watch, and you endure random snippets of the morning news, a cheesy soap opera, and a series of infomercials before sighing and rising to your feet again. “I’m getting some food. Want some toast, Chimchim?”
“Mmm. Sure.”
Slowly, you meander your way back into the kitchen. Your mother is standing at the counter stirring sugar into her coffee, and you smile as you walk up to join her. “Morning, Mom.”
“Good morning, sweetie,” she says, taking a careful sip of her drink. “Did you sleep well?”
“Like a log,” you reply with a grin. Grabbing the loaf of bread off the counter, you pull out a few slices and shove them in the toaster. “Do you want toast? I’m making some for me and Chimchim.”
“Just one slice for me,” she says, opening up the dish cabinet and pulling out three plates. Obligingly, you hand her one of the two freshly toasted slices and drop the other onto your plate. Popping some more bread into the toaster, you’re just about to grab the jam from the fridge when there’s a knock on the door.
“I’ll get it!” Jimin yells from the living room. You hear the soft pad of his footsteps in the hallway and the low creak of the front door as it swings open—and then your brother is snorting out a laugh at whoever is on your doorstep. “Dude, why are you covered in dirt?”
You’re beginning to have a sneaking suspicion as to who your guest is, and it’s confirmed when your brother’s question is answered.
“I’m helping Mom plant some hydrangeas out back,” Jungkook’s voice explains, his tall figure stepping into view a moment later. “Can you come help me lift the bushes?”
Jimin rolls his eyes. “You could’ve just texted me.”
“Who knows if you would’ve answered?” Jungkook asks, laughing. “Knowing you, you’d just leave me on read. Besides—” and here he glances over at you, dark eyes glimmering with an emotion that you can’t quite pinpoint, “—I wouldn’t get to see two of my favorite ladies if I didn’t stop by.”
Jimin pretends to vomit at the line, but your mother laughs delightedly as Jungkook takes another step into the foyer and flashes her a winning grin. “Good morning, Jungkookie,” she greets him. “Have you eaten breakfast yet? {Name} was just making some toast, and we’ve got fresh coffee.”
Jungkook’s gaze slides over to you again, taking in the flannel pajama pants and oversized t-shirt you’re wearing. “Thanks, Mrs. Park,” he says, though his eyes never leave yours. “I ate already, but coffee sounds wonderful.”
You are beginning to feel increasingly vulnerable as Jungkook continues looking unblinkingly in your direction. Thankfully, your mom pipes up, drawing his attention away with a decisive clap of her hands. “Coffee it is, then!” she says brightly. “{Name}, why don’t you grab Jungkook a cup?”
Hurriedly, you turn toward the cabinets, trying your best to ignore Jungkook as he chats comfortably with your family. Your success is limited though, and you can feel his penetrating stare lingering on your back even as you fetch a mug and fill it up to the brim.
“Noona.” Jungkook’s voice comes from behind you, much closer than you remember him being. “Can I have some cream and sugar, please?”
Somehow, you manage to reply without stammering. “Yeah. Sure.” Dumping some of the excess coffee into the sink, you spoon in some sugar and give it a quick stir. Just as you turn toward the refrigerator for the cream, a strong arm cuts you off.
“I got it, Noona,” Jungkook murmurs, backing you up against the counter as he tucks the little white carton into your outstretched hand. His proximity has your heart skipping several beats, and you almost drop the carton entirely when he speaks again in a husky whisper, his mouth at the shell of your ear. “Just a little bit, please.”
You are acutely aware of the heat radiating off of his body, warming your back and flushing your cheeks. Quietly, you open up the carton and pour a splash of cream into his mug, the swirl of white melding with the dark liquid within. “Is—is that enough?”
Jungkook reaches around you to open up the silverware drawer, grabbing a spoon and giving the coffee a stir. “That’s perfect,” he purrs, his hot breath stirring gooseflesh on the back of your neck.
This close to him, it’s easy to forget where you are and who you’re with, but you somehow manage to regain enough of your senses to wrench away and reclaim your personal space. “G-great,” you stammer, picking up the mug and shoving it into his hands, determinedly ignoring the ripple of his arm muscles as he accepts. “Um. Chim. Did you want your toast?”
“Yes, please,” Jimin says, barely glancing up from where he’s made himself comfortable at the kitchen island, idly playing on his phone.
Your mother pokes her head around the doorframe of the adjoining laundry room, where she has clearly started a fresh load if the sound of splashing water is anything to go by. “Don’t make your sister do all of the work, Jimin. Go help her—it’s your food, isn’t it?”
Obligingly, Jimin hops off the stool and grabs his favorite jar of jam, joining you at the counter. He takes the slice of toast you offer him, slathering it messily and taking an enormous bite. “Thanks for breakfast, Noona,” he says, blowing you an exaggerated kiss. “Ready, Kook?”
Jungkook raises his mug of coffee in acknowledgement. “Ready.” Then his gaze flickers back to you, twinkling with silent mirth. “And Noona—thanks. The coffee’s delicious.”
You can’t find the words to answer. Silently, you watch him disappear out the front door with Jimin, following his dark head of hair as it bobs across the yard. His biceps flex as he gestures for Jimin to help him lift a hydrangea bush, and your eyes linger on the stretch of defined muscle, tracing the network of prominent veins running along his forearm before your brain can caution you to stop. It’s almost as if you’re on autopilot, and by the time you zone back in, your gaze has wandered too far south for your liking. Letting out an audible groan, you tear your eyes away from the mouthwatering view of his thick thighs and return to your now-cold breakfast. And you don’t think about Jeon Jungkook again, pushing the image of his broad shoulders and handsome face into the darkest recesses of your mind.
Or at least, that was the plan. Jimin comes back inside after about an hour, tracking mud through half the house before your mother reprimands him and orders him to take off his shoes. Jungkook, thankfully, chose to return to his own home as well, and you immediately banish the thought of him showering off all the sweat and grime that has no doubt accumulated on his toned body. You shove away the mental image of water slicking his golden skin and collecting in the hollows of his collarbones, and when your mind conjures up pictures of what lies south of his waist, you resist the urge to scream into the pile of freshly laundered pillowcases your mom presses into your arms.
You’re just about to head upstairs to scream into a real pillow when there’s another knock on your front door—a familiar cadence that you heard just this morning. And that’s when you realize—to your complete and utter dismay—that Jeon Jungkook isn’t done tormenting you yet. Not by a long shot.
“You again? You do realize that this isn’t your house, right?” you ask, swinging open the door and thanking whatever gods may be out there that your voice remains steady. Then you raise a brow, glancing down at his change in attire. “Wait, why are you wearing a suit?”
Jungkook gives you an infuriatingly impish grin. “Do I need a reason?” His hair is still damp from the shower, a stray lock flopping down across his forehead, and as you watch him brush it away absently, you notice that he’s holding something in his free hand.
“What’s that?” you ask curiously.
Footsteps sound from behind you, interrupting before he can answer. “Jungkookie?” your mother asks, appearing at the foot of the stairs. “I thought I heard your voice. Are you here for Jimin again?”
Jungkook flashes her a winning smile and raises the garment bag he’s holding. “No, I was actually hoping to get some advice. I’ve got my suit ready to go for graduation tomorrow, but I can’t decide which shirt looks better. My mom likes how I look in blue, but I wanted a second opinion from you and Noona.”
To your utter annoyance, your mother coos and gestures for him to come in. He’s already wearing the blue shirt—a pale periwinkle one that reminds you of a cloudless day—but your mom takes the garment bag out of his hand and unzips it to look inside. “What are your options?” she asks.
“Blue, red, and yellow,” Jungkook replies, pulling each shirt off its hanger and holding them up to his chest in turn. “What do you think, Mrs. Park?”
“The blue is lovely,” your mom says thoughtfully, straightening his collar. “But this shade of yellow looks nice too. A handsome young man like you—you really can’t go wrong with any of these.”
Jungkook grins and scratches behind his ear, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Thanks, Mrs. Park.”
The dryer chooses that moment to beep shrilly, signalling the end of its cycle, and your mother darts off to tend to it, leaving you and Jungkook alone in the living room.
“What about you, Noona?” Jungkook asks, just as you’re about to try and sneak out under the pretense of helping with the laundry. “Which shirt do you like?”
“Does it matter?” you ask. “It’s just going to be hidden underneath those horrible black trash bags they make you wear.”
He laughs. “Sure, but what about before and after? You know my mom’s going to want to take a million pictures.”
“Can’t argue there.” Resigning yourself to your fate, you put your stack of clean pillowcases down on the arm of the couch and cross your arms over your chest. “Show them to me again?”
Jungkook raises the yellow shirt, holding it up for a few seconds before swapping it out for the red. “Well?”
You pause to consider it. “Red,” you decide after some deliberation, pointing at your choice. It’s a deep crimson color—almost burgundy—and you rub the silky material between your fingertips before taking it and replacing it onto its hanger. Jungkook joins you with the yellow shirt, his arm bumping into yours as you both reach for the garment bag, and even though you flinch away from the contact, Jungkook doesn’t let you stray very far. A strong hand clamps down around your forearm, and you inhale sharply when he backs you up against the wall and cages you in with his solid body.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
Jungkook looks thoroughly unfazed as he blinks a few loose strands of hair out of his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“Jungkook—” you hiss, struggling to see over his shoulder if your mother has returned. “Get off me.”
“Come on, Noona,” Jungkook murmurs. “I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me. Ever since you got back—ever since we kissed—”
“A mistake,” you say, cutting him off with a finger to the lips and glancing around furtively to make sure no one is eavesdropping. “That was a mistake.”
Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “Was it? Because I really wanted to kiss you, and I’m pretty sure you wanted to kiss me too. You kissed back, didn’t you?”
“Y-you—“ You clear your throat and try again, cringing at how shaky your voice comes out. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
But Jungkook simply laughs. “Don’t I?” He inches closer until you’re chest to chest, his gaze darkening as it flickers downward and lands on your mouth. Your heartbeat quickens, thudding erratically in your ribcage. It would be so easy to push to your tiptoes and close the distance between your lips.
“God,” you huff. “You’re so—”
His other eyebrow rises to join the first. “I’m so—?” he presses, tilting his head as he awaits your answer. The loose lock of hair flops across his forehead again, and this time you cannot stop yourself from reaching up to brush it away.
“Shut up,” you hiss as your fingers drop down to wind into the soft hair at his nape. “Just shut up.”
And then you’re kissing him—really, really kissing him—pulling him down to your level and sliding your free hand up his infuriatingly toned chest.
“See?” Jungkook’s lips curl up into a smug smirk as he pulls away slightly, his warm breath fanning across your cheeks with every word. “I knew you were into me.”
“God, do you ever stop talking?” you retort, pushing him back until you have enough room to switch your positions and maneuver him against the wall.
Jungkook lets you pin him in place, blinking down at you lazily with his mouth still stretched into that maddening little smirk. “Only if you make me, Noona.” His hands slide down your sides, coming to a stop at your hips in an ironclad grip. “Only if you kiss me like that again.”
So you do. Your fingers tighten in his hair as you crush your mouth to his, and when his lips part you slip your tongue inside. Jungkook—still smirking—relaxes and lets you take control of the kiss, but his hands continue to wander. Before you know it, he’s already snuck underneath the hem of your shirt, rubbing warm circles into the soft skin of your waist. His lips move languidly against yours, his tongue careful and gentle in its exploration of your mouth, and you sigh when he tugs you closer. You’re pressed flush against him by this point, pinning him between your body and the wall, and neither you nor he have any intent to move anytime soon.
The sudden slamming of a door jerks you back to reality. Here you are, standing in the living room where anyone could walk by and see you kissing your brother’s best friend—again. Shakily, you pull away from Jungkook with your heart in your throat, putting as much space as you possibly can between your bodies. “Fuck,” you mutter. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. We can’t do this.”
Jungkook’s chest is heaving, his lips swollen and red. “{Name}—” he tries, but you shake your head and cut him off before he can continue.
“You need to leave,” you whisper.
“But—”
“Please,” you say, your heart hammering wildly in your chest. “Please, Jungkook. Just leave.”
Jungkook swallows, hard. And then, much to your relief, he picks up his garment bag, shoving both shirts back inside. “Okay,” he rasps. “I’ll go.”
Elsewhere in the house, you can hear your mother calling for Jimin. Your father is watching TV in his study—you can hear the low hum of voices and a laugh track. Your entire family is here.
And yet, you’ve never felt more alone as you watch Jungkook stride down the hallway and disappear out the front door.
///
Returning to your high school is odd. The hallways and classrooms are familiar, but they all seem smaller than you remember. And were the ceilings always this short? You aren’t sure. What you are sure of, however, is that Jungkook and his family are currently headed your way, with beaming smiles on their faces and colorful flower bouquets in hand. Greetings and congratulations are exchanged, and it isn’t long before you are face-to-face with Jungkook himself, a tight smile on his face as he meets your eyes.
“Hi, Noona.”
“Hi,” you reply. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
Now that the graduation ceremony is over, he’s taken off his robe to reveal the red shirt underneath. The silky material drapes over his torso and clings to the toned planes of his chest, and your fingers itch to run across the defined muscle. Swallowing down the urge, you instead gesture toward his parents, who are engaged in deep conversation with your own parents while Jimin chats with Junghyun off to the side. “I guess we’re all getting dinner after this, huh?”
He nods. “Yeah, at that one place downtow—“
“Jungkook! Jimin!” A feminine voice interrupts him mid-sentence, and you watch in surprise as both your brother and Jungkook are suddenly engulfed in a massive tangle of limbs. Immediately, you recognize Jisoo and Lisa—two girls you considered casual friends from your own high school days. The third girl in the trio of friends—Chaeyoung—is noticeably absent, but you don’t get a chance to question her whereabouts. “Can you believe it? We’re graduates!” Lisa is saying excitedly, still clutching tightly onto Jungkook’s shoulders. She’s pressed flush against him, her chest molded to his, and the sudden rush of jealousy that takes root in the pit of your stomach takes you aback with its ferocity.
Calm the fuck down, you instruct your pounding heart. Stop it, right now.
“Has Tae told you about the party tomorrow night?” Jisoo asks, breaking you out of your thoughts. “You guys better be there—and that means you, too, {Name}! It’s been forever since we’ve seen you!”
You clear your throat and attempt to smile. “Yeah, it’s been way too long. It’ll be nice to finally catch up.” Unwillingly, your gaze flickers back over to Jungkook and Lisa, doing your best to maintain a neutral expression when you notice the casual way his arm drapes over her shoulders.
Your attempts are in vain. Jungkook notices your stare immediately, a massive shit-eating grin spreading across his face. One eyebrow rises in a silent taunt, and you swear his grip around her tightens. Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you instead turn back to Jisoo, finally voicing the question that’s on your mind.
“So, where’s Chaeyoung? I saw her during the ceremony, but haven’t seen her around since. She didn’t leave already, did she?”
“No, she’s still here,” Jisoo answers, exchanging a look with Lisa. Curiosity piqued, you watch her gaze dart over to Jungkook for a split second before returning to you, a tiny smile gracing her face once more. “She’s with her family right now, but she’ll be at the party tomorrow.”
“I’ll congratulate her there, then,” you say, returning her smile with one of her own. Silently, you wonder at the uneasy glance the two girls had exchanged, but decide not to press it, chalking it up to some senior year drama that isn’t any of your business.
“Well, we should probably get going,” Jisoo says after another beat. “We’re off to dinner.”
“We should be on our way too,” you agree, glancing over at where your parents are still chatting, having absorbed Junghyun into their conversation at some point. Bidding the two girls goodbye, you sidle over to join them, trying your best to subtly nudge your parents toward the door.
After what feels like an eternity, your parents finally decide that they’re ready for a change in scenery. The drive to the restaurant is blessedly short, much to the relief of your grumbling stomach, and you are more than grateful for the brief reprieve from Jungkook and his knowing smirk. It doesn’t last long, however, and you mentally brace yourself when you spot the Jeons’ car in the parking lot of the restaurant. Upon entering, you are quickly ushered to your reserved table where the Jeons are already waiting, and somehow in the shuffle you end up right between Jungkook and Junghyun, the former’s face dissolving into a satisfied grin as he watches you sit down.
Then he turns to Jimin, who’s seated on his other side. “Hey, man.”
You bristle at the blatant way he’s ignoring you. But two can play at that game, so you turn to Junghyun with a winning smile, laying a hand on his shoulder for good measure. The older Jeon brother is four years your senior, but despite the age difference, you’ve always gotten along well.
“Junghyun, I haven’t seen you in ages! How have you been?”
The elder Jeon grins and leans in to give you a hug. “Good, good—work’s insane, but that’s old news. What about you? How’s school going so far?”
You can feel Jungkook’s gaze on you, hot and heavy. The hairs on the back of your neck prickle under the weight of it, and you resist the urge to shiver. Instead, you give Junghyun’s bicep a final squeeze before pulling away, steadfastly ignoring the way Jungkook lets out a disgruntled hiss from between his teeth.
“School is good,” you tell Junghyun. “I’m trying to get all my general requirements out of the way early, so my first semester wasn’t very interesting. I took some more focused classes in the second, though, which made things infinitely better.”
The elder Jeon laughs. “Guess that means you’re on the right track then, huh?”
“Guess so,” you reply, laughing right along with him.
The server stops by to take drink orders, and your parents take it upon themselves to order food for the table as well. You continue chatting amicably with Junghyun as the server returns with a tray of water, sodas, and soju; beside you, Jungkook does the same with Jimin. The only break in conversation comes when the server—a pretty girl with a chirpy voice and a nametag that reads ‘Mina’—leans over to set a glass of Coke down in front of Jungkook. He thanks her with a crooked smirk and a low purr of gratitude that has her cheeks flushing pink, and it’s all you can do not to gape at him like a fish. The flirtatious quirk of his lips, the seductive tone—it all comes far too naturally to him, and you wonder for a moment just where the old Jungkook has gone. The Jungkook you used to know stammered every time he had to talk to an unfamiliar girl, and had trouble looking even you in the eye despite having known you since grade school.
But now, he’s nowhere to be found. The young man sitting beside you remains as calm as can be, shifting his body toward Mina so that he can request a straw.
“Of course, here you go!” Mina’s gaze lingers on his hand as he accepts the proffered straw, eyes widening when his fingers brush against hers lightly.
“Fast service,” Jungkook remarks, his voice dipping into a low, indolent drawl. “I like that.”
Mina giggles and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She’s clearly about to respond to him—flirt right back, undoubtedly—but your father stands up and taps his glass with a spoon before she can open her mouth. “I want to make a toast,” he says, and you send him a silent, heartfelt thank you when Mina wisely chooses to make herself scarce. “Congratulations to Jungkook and Jimin, our two rad grads!”
An audible groan rises up from your side of the table, where Jimin has buried his face in his hands. “Oh my god, Dad.”
“What?” your father asks innocently. “I really think you’re rad, grad!”
Jimin groans again, muffled by the sleeves of his jacket. “I want the earth to swallow me whole.”
Laughter all around. More toasts are given, and the bottles of soju scattered around the table slowly dwindle down to their last dregs. Junghyun picks up the one closest to him and fills up your glass for the fourth time, drawing a protesting whine from your lips as you try to cut him off. “Wait, that’s not fair! Pour some for yourself too!”
“Relax, we can always order more,” Junghyun says with a laugh, topping off your glass before glancing around to find Mina. Much to your irritation, she’s already headed your way, bearing loaded platters of meat and vegetables and wearing a bright smile that seems to only be directed to Jungkook.
“I hope you’re all hungry!” she chirps, coming to a stop between you and the subject of her affections. You swear she shoots you a dirty look over her shoulder before turning back to the table, her cheerful facade back in place as she smiles at Jungkook. “Where did you want me to put the meat?”
“Anywhere it’ll fit,” Jungkook tells her with a suggestive smirk, keeping his voice soft enough so that only you and she can hear.
Mina cannot hide her answering smile. Likewise, you cannot hide the way your nostrils flare, throat bobbing as you swallow down the ugly feelings bubbling up in your chest. You can feel Jungkook’s gaze roving across your skin, but you refuse to look at him, stubbornly facing the front as Mina distributes food around the table. As soon as she’s departed again—her fingers brushing across the back of Jungkook’s chair in the process—you’re up and out of your seat, heart beating faster than you’d like to admit.
“Restroom,” you say shortly by way of explanation. It’s thankfully empty when you arrive, and you immediately make a beeline toward the sink to splash some cold water on your cheeks.
It’s absurd—this snaking jealousy coiling in your belly and winding up between the slats of your ribcage. Straightening up, you give your reflection in the mirror a stern look, silently willing the feelings in your chest to abate. Gradually, your heartbeat slows into a regular rhythm, your cheeks cooling, and after waiting another two minutes, you decide that it’s been long enough. Drying off your hands, you exit the restroom and wind your way back to the table, keeping your pace leisurely even when Jungkook looks up and catches your eye. His expression is unreadable, and you valiantly ignore his burning gaze as you take a seat.
“How is everything?” you ask Junghyun, picking up a spoon and piling your plate with food from the nearest platter.
Junghyun pauses mid-bite to answer. His mouth opens, but you don’t catch his answer because there is a sudden, heavy weight on your knee. A warm palm caresses the skin exposed by the hem of your dress, slow and sensual and deliberate. Your eyes widen and your lips part, but no sound escapes. The rest of the table’s occupants fade away into the background, conversations and laughter dulling into a low drone. Beside you, Junghyun is still talking, but all you can hear is blood rushing through your ears.
And on your other side, Jungkook is smirking.
The bastard.
Gentle fingertips skim along your skin, leaving trails of fire in their wake. Your entire body stiffens, but Jungkook refuses to relent. He’s still chatting with Jimin, chuckling at a joke you didn’t hear, and you wonder how he can remain so calm when you are anything but. Your heart takes off in a sprint, clattering wildly against your ribcage, and for a few moments you are absolutely positive that everyone at the table can hear. Any moment, one of your parents will look over and see how wide your eyes are and how warm your cheeks feel. Any moment, Jimin will look down and see his best friend’s arm snaking beneath the table and realize what’s happening.
And then Jungkook squeezes your thigh, and all thought flies out of your head, dissipating like fog in the sunlight. He’s growing increasingly bold, his fingers trailing up until he can trace the hem of your dress, teasing at the soft material. Your breath hitches in your throat, and Jungkook’s smirk widens. You can see him out of the corner of your eye, trying to hide his smugness behind his soju glass, and for a moment you’re tempted to throw his drink in his face.
But more than that—more than anything else right now—you want him to continue touching you.
He’s sliding beneath your dress now, inching down to the delicate skin of your inner thigh and tracing nonsensical patterns there. You grip the edge of the table as he trails closer and closer to the lace of your panties, knuckles turning white against the dark wood. It’s a wonder no one has noticed your flustered state yet, and you cast concerned glances at Junghyun and Jimin before Jungkook notices your inattention. Punishingly, he slides a single finger into your panties, snapping the lace against your skin and covering the sound with a cough that he buries in his elbow. He can’t hide the way you jolt in your seat though, your knee thudding against the table. Junghyun gives you a worried look, laying a hand on your shoulder as he asks if you’re okay, and you hurriedly nod. And underneath the table, Jungkook resumes his ministrations, languorous and soft and deliberately avoiding the place you need him most, as if he has all the time in the world.
There’s a growing damp spot between your legs. You can feel it seeping through the cottony material of your panties, sticking uncomfortably to your folds. Jungkook’s touch is whisper-soft, caressing along your thigh until your skin is tingling, and it’s all you can do to swallow down the whimper that’s bubbling up in your throat. He’s thoroughly enjoying this—you can tell—and you’re certain he can feel the way you tense up when he suddenly drags a single finger up your clothed slit. A low hiss escapes your parted lips, and in an instant, all eyes are on you.
“Noona?” Jimin asks curiously. “Something wrong?”
“I—” Your mind whirs, searching for an excuse. “It’s nothing. I’m fine. The, uh, sauce was just spicier than I was expecting it to be.”
You haven’t touched a single thing on your plate in minutes, but no one seems to notice your obvious lie. Conversation resumes, and you determinedly pick up your spoon again, intent on getting something more substantial in your belly than the fluttering butterflies that have taken up residence there.
“You sure you want to eat that, Noona?” Jungkook’s voice reaches your ears—a low, dulcet purr that sends electricity shooting down your spine. “You should probably drink some water to cool down.”
And before you can answer—before you even manage to reach for your water glass—he’s slipped his hand into your panties, the warm pad of his thumb pressing experimentally against your clit. The slight pressure has you gasping, your heart pounding hard enough to leap out of your chest as you drop your spoon. Your hands drop down to your lap—one gripping the edge of your chair while the other finds its way around Jungkook’s wrist, and you aren’t sure whether you’re trying to stop him or spur him on. His arm muscles flex underneath your fingertips, and that’s all the warning you get before he angles his hand, a lone finger sinking inside your drenched entrance.
“Oh, fuck.” You can’t stop the strangled curse that escapes your lips, an airy hiss from behind clenched teeth. Your grip on Jungkook’s wrist tightens, but it doesn’t seem to dissuade him at all as he begins a leisurely pace, sinking deeper into your cunt with each thrust.
Luckily, no one hears your whimper. Sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, you bite back the sounds threatening to spill out and instead focus on maintaining as neutral an expression as you can muster. Beneath the table, Jungkook remains relentless. Even when your mother looks over and addresses him directly, he doesn’t cease his ministrations, keeping both his tone and his pace even as he responds.
“Jungkookie, you’ve barely touched your pork belly. Are you full already?”
“Stuffed,” Jungkook replies smoothly. He punctuates the word by adding a second finger, and you almost bang your knee on the table again, your eyes going wide at his audacity.
Your mother pushes the platter of meat closer to him anyway. “No need to be polite, honey. Here, eat up.”
Obligingly, Jungkook picks out a few pieces with his free hand and piles them on his plate. “Thanks, Mrs. Park,” he says as he brings some to his mouth. “It’s delicious.”
Satisfied, your mother turns her attention elsewhere. Jungkook returns his to you, and you almost groan aloud when his thumb brushes against your clit again, rubbing tight circles around the sensitive bud before he sheathes both fingers inside you once more. There’s a growing heat coiling in the pit of your stomach by this point, lighting every single one of your nerves on fire. Your body is screaming for release, and Jungkook seems more than eager to give it to you. He’s freed his wrist from your grip, leaving you to clutch helplessly at the table as he angles his fingers upward. No doubt he’s searching for the spot that will have you seeing stars, and you know he’s found it when a sudden burst of pleasure spikes through you. Your mouth falls lax, and Jungkook grins, thoroughly satisfied.
There’s something building inside you, something that has your tummy tensing and your toes curling in your shoes. Jungkook’s fingers dig deep, his palm rubbing against your clit with every thrust, and it takes every remaining ounce of your self-control to resist the urge to rock your hips into his hand. A bit more of that delicious friction, and you’ll be falling over the edge. You know it, and so does Jungkook if the smirk on his face is anything to go by.
And then a voice is pulling you back to reality, a warm hand settling on your shoulder. You flinch at the contact, your startled gaze flying up to Junghyun’s, and balk when you see him staring at you with equal parts amusement and concern.
“I—what?” you stammer. “Did
 did you say something?”
Beneath the table, you feel Jungkook’s fingers retreat, leaving you empty and aching for release. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook wipe his glistening hand on his napkin, a frown that can only be described as petulant settling onto his face.
“Whoa, relax!” Junghyun drags your attention back to him, raising his hands in mock surrender. “I just wanted to say goodbye. I have to be up early for work tomorrow, so I’m driving back into the city tonight.”
“Oh!” It takes you a few seconds to process his words. “Right, yeah. Have a safe drive back. It was good to see you.”
“Ditto,” he replies, flashing you a warm grin. “But hey, are you all right? You’ve been a little weird the whole night. Was it the food?”
Gratefully, you seize upon the excuse. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine. I think maybe something isn’t sitting quite right in my stomach, but I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about it.”
He nods and leans in for a hug. “Take care of yourself, yeah?”
“You too. Bye, Junghyun.”
With the elder Jeon brother’s departure, everyone else quickly decides that it’s time to disperse as well. You adamantly refuse to look in Jungkook’s direction as your parents fight over the bill, focusing your goodbyes on Mr. and Mrs. Jeon even when he glances your way with a knowing little smirk and a soft murmur of, “Bye, Noona.”
You can’t look at him. Not when every movement reminds you just how damp your panties are, your core begging for relief. Not when he’s waggling his fingers in farewell—the gesture anything but innocent. “Bye,” you warble weakly, before fleeing to the car.
The memory of his fingers burns fresh in your mind later that night as you lie in bed, your hand stuffed down your panties and working furiously to find that sweet, sweet relief.
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yunhostinyuyu · 3 years
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pairing: bad boy!san x fem reader
genre: college au, suggestive, almost smut
wc: 3.1k
sïżŒynopsis: Y/N swore herself to never get involved with people like Choi San: the typical fuckboy. She hated him (or she at least made herself believe she did) but thats the exact reason that drew him towards her...
warnings: teasing, making out, mentions of sex, alcohol and drugs
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—
„look at who we have here? Y/N doing her dirty laundry, never thought I’d witness that.“
you were hunched on your floor with baskets of freshly washed clothes all around the floor. Whipping your head to the door of your dorm‘s bathroom, and you immediately regret it. The cheeky comment came from no other than Choi San - Resident fuck boy and unfortunately, your roommates best friend. He is the type of guy your parents would warn you from. The type to play with a girl until he’s satisfied and dips right after.
The type of you you would never want to get involved with in any sort of way.
But, since he hangs around your dorm frequently and you share a few classes and lectures, that was not easy. Crashing on the couch you bought with your roommate bought together when you moved in, more often than you’d like. Throwing certain looks at you when you entered the lecture halls or passed by him when he was chatting and smoking with his friends off campus. Never letting you breathe for a single moment, he enjoyed teasing you. Needless to say you hated his guts for many things, and he just added more reasons to your imaginary list with every passing day you saw him around campus.
Meanwhile, you’re lifestyle was the complete opposite of his, being the well mannered and friendly classmate, the typical nice girl everyone thought you were - and what your parents wanted you to be. Of course, you were not always like that, especially around your friends. With them you could act the way you truly are, and that was anything but the front you put on most of the time. But San made you drop any sort of friendliness to curse at him every chance you got. And right now was no different:
“Fuck off Choi. Wooyoung isn’t here, so leave.” you spat while not paying anymore attention to him, instead going back to the task at hand.
Taking a few steps towards you, inspecting the room as if he had seen it for the first time, and paying close attention of you putting clothes out of the washing machine. His eyes paying close attention to your hands that move in fluid motions.
“I know, but he’ll be here any second.” Trailing off, and you decided to not even answer him - he isn’t worth your time or nerves right now, after all he just wanted to get under your skin and rile you up. And the less you talk, the better.
He hums to himself, as he bends down to pick up one black, lacy pair of undergarments, inspecting them closely. His thumbs grazing over the neat material, fingertips holding them up in the air. You don’t realize he took something from the basket to your left until he comments on them.
“Are these new? Must be, huh... your little ass would look sooo cute in them. Are you gonna wear them for me one day, Y/N?” his low voice echoed through the tiled room, and you are fast to react: snatching the pair of panties back, out of his grip and throwing it back into the basket. Scoffing, showing your stride at him without any hesitation. “In your dreams. Now, leave me alone. I’m not gonna repeat myself, Choi.” Your features twist as you grow more and more annoyed with him.
“Oh don’t worry,” he backed up a few steps, but the cocky grin stayed on his lips, “with that attitude I’ll most certainly dream of it.”
You heard the door twist, which could only mean that Wooyoung was finally here to save you from any further suggestive comments. Considering you couldn’t stand anything more that was about to leave his mouth.
Admittedly, San has his reputation for a reason: him being one of the most handsome guys you have ever laid your eyes on. And if he wasn’t such an asshole, there would be a possibility you’d be interested in him. And yes, if the stigma that your parents had embroidered into your brain, that ‘sex is bad’ and to stay ‘pure’ until you’re married. If you could push that out of your mind for good, you would be maybe like San. Maybe, you’d even be with him... but god forbid he would ever find out you thought of him like that, especially when you had one of your moments, late at night. If he would know about your honest thoughts, he would use it to his advantage. He wouldn’t give in until he got his way with you - in his very own way.
“San-ah! Come on, we gotta go!” your roommate screams and prompts the visitor to get going quick.
“Too bad, guess I’ll see you around, Y/N. Maybe one day my dreams will become reality nonetheless.” He turns on his heels and dashes towards his friend. The repeating sound of the lock falling into place made you sigh out loudly, pressing your forehead against the cold material of the washing machine you’re still sitting in front of.
Incidents like these are not new and you have already gotten used to San having zero shame when it came to anything even remotely personal or sexual. He knew how he comes across, which only scores him more and more girls to take home and to make his body count grow rapidly. But until now, it hasn’t worked with you, and he’s trying time and time again to wrap you around his finger. Without success.
And you planned to keep it this way.
–
“I hate you for dragging me here.” you groaned after you kept chewing on the rim of your red cup. The girl on your right ignored your comment and kept scanning the crowd.
It was unbelievable, but yes: you were stuck on a frat party... again. Your cousin Mijung needed to meet a guy she was planning on hooking up with, and you lost a bet, so you had to go with her. In secret, she was still scared to go by herself and you wanted to help her - regardless of that you hated parties like this. Obviously, you hoped that she wouldn’t leave your side too soon, but at the same time it only meant you could get home earlier, which was a win in your books.
„Sure you do. But I don’t care right now, because you owe it to me. You could let loose for once and also get some good di-“
„No, I’m not, and you know I can’t!“ you cut Mijung off and she lifts her hands up in defeat.
She just scoffs while scanning the place for faces she might recognize. “Yes, yes I know. God forbid your parents ever find out your at a party like this, or even have sex. But they have nothing to worry about.” Thinking to yourself that they really do not need to worry, but deep inside you wanted to do all these things that you got restricted from. Forcefully restricted yourself from, and the longer you thought about it, you wanted to go against it. Date and sleep with guys as you please, live a little. But still, something unknown was holding you back from it.
“You know it’s not just that but also-“ you started explaining yourself for the nth time in your life, but now she cut you off and hopped off her barstool. The man she was waiting for finally appeared and she left with him after they exchanged a quick peck as a greeting. Being uncomfortable with the scene, you fumbled with your phone in order not to look awkward or out of place - but that’s exactly what you were. And on top of that, you were alone.
You held your phone tightly in your grip, watching over the intense crowd, people on people and the sight made you nauseous, especially when you locked eyes with someone that was kissing or grinding on each other. You wanted to be able to do those sorts of things, but at the same time it scared you, almost disgusted you. But the sting of alcohol in your cup that you barely drank made everything worse. The situation altogether was just too much for you.
“Now look at that, am I high or is the notorious Y/N at our place?”
You cursed to yourself when you recognized his voice.
“Fuck off, Choi.” was the first and only thing that you could think of while still scrolling mindlessly through your apps to appear busy.
He slides into the seat Mijung left empty just a few minutes ago. “Now, you know that doesn’t affect me. I just wanna talk a bit. I’m not feeling getting hammered tonight if I’m being honest.” He started a conversation and you forced yourself to look at him. He looked too good to be true with his messy hair and black shirt and jeans. But you ignored his visuals in order to give him a strict look.
“And what do you wanna talk about? We never talk. And I’m not gonna be here for much longer anyways.” You explained and San rose and eyebrow at your comment. “Oh? So we’re do you plan on going?”
You didn’t know, since Mijung was left so early, you haven’t given it any thought other than going back home, even if it was too early to leave, but yet dark outside.
“Home. To my dorm. I hate places like this.” You looked away, and he noticed your discomfort. The atmosphere was really awkward between the two of you. As a result you turned slightly away from him.
He sighs, “You know, we can go somewhere quiet.” You adamantly shake your head at his suggestion, “no, I’m not going anywhere with you. You’re aware of your reputation and so am I. I’m not doing that.” you spat disheartinly, assuming it was another one of his attempts to get into your pants. But surprisingly, it wasn’t.
“No, you listen now,” he took hold of your arm and twisted you back to face him. “You’re uncomfortable here, I can see that. I’m taking you to my room. And not to get with you, but because I promised Wooyoung to take him home when he’s completely wasted tonight. I can take you home then alongside him.” he says and his brows furred a little.
Wooyoung was someone you trusted, so if he trusted San to take him home when he’s completely shitfaced, then maybe you could also trust him? All alarms went off in your head telling you he was anything but trustworthy. But as you looked into his eyes, there was something genuine about his offer. But after a few moments of thinking, you gave him the benefit of the doubt: you complied and nodded, “okay, but just because Woo trusts you.” But that was enough for him.
He got up and urged you to come after him, walking up the stairs until the loud noises from the other people steadily died down. After the two of you entered his room, your nervousness und sense of awkwardness disappeared again. Even if it was San, you were used to him, to his presence. And it was better then to be lost and alone downstairs.
“Make yourself feel at home.” He introduces you when he plops down at his bed, while you took a closer look around his personal space. There were plenty of books on his shelf, a flag hung up on the wall, and the desk was messy in books and other stuff he used frequently. To be honest, you imagined his room to be more messy, but it was just a kind of creative chaos.
The silence in his room was thick. He watched your movements closely for a while, but you tried to give him not much attention, even if you felt his stares linger on you. Minutes passed until he started to speak up again:
“Do you mind if I ask you something? I’m kinda curious, y’know.”
You turned around and look into his eyes, that are loosely hidden behind his dark strains of hair over his forehead. Arms pushed behind him on the bed to support his upper body, leaning back. You walk back a little until you sit down in a giant bean bag that was in the center of the small room. While you adjust yourself you look over to him once again, signaling him to continue talking. He sits up a little, leaning forward, elbows resting on his thighs.
“You know, any other girl would beg me to fuck them if they were in your spot. Why are you so determined to do anything but that?”
Taken aback, you knew San was bold, but you didn’t expect him to go there, especially not at this time, when he offered a hide out for you so considerably. Shrugging your shoulders you dip your chip to your chest and try to figure out a way to answer his question.
“I’m, uhm, I’m... it’s just not my thing.” You stutter out, and you are pretty sure you have an aura of uncertainty surrounding you. Of course, San picks up on it:
“Wait, not your thing? What kinda guy did you sleep with that make you think that way about sex? Or girl?” His facial expressions clearly confused, not yet understanding your reasoning.
You stayed silent. Because you couldn’t muster to say the truth: you haven’t. Yes, you were a still a virgin, in college. Nobody knew other than Mijung, not even any of your closest friends. And the fact that San was this close to discovering your secret, or probably already did, made you anxious.
“Mmh, I get it now. You never got laid. Not even once in your life. Am I Right?” He assumed and hit the nail right on the head. You wanted to cuss him out, hit and slap him, but that would only prove him right. The blush that crept on your face was answer enough for him. He stood up from his place on the bed to sit back down next to you on the floor. You couldn’t look at him, because of the pure humiliation he’s putting you through, trying to get swallowed by the fuzzy material of your seat.
“So that’s the reason you’re acting like this most of the time: you have never gotten any action together than with yourself. How am I only just now figuring this out?” He chuckles, having you in a spot were you couldn’t get out as easy as you’d like. Still not opting to speak, gnawing at the inside of your cheek instead, but you don’t need to anyway, because he continues to piece the evidence together.
“Wooyoung once mentioned you had strict parents, you know. Judging by how you act around your friends, I didn’t think you’d care about what they thought, no? You’re well past the age of being ‘daddy’s good girl’. And also by the way you throw shallow insults at me every time we are in the same room, I can tell you that you’re anything but the nice girl your parents want you to be. That’s not the real you. But Y/N, you know it’s your life? You can do whatever you want? If you want to take drugs, take them. If you want to smoke, smoke. If you want to get dicked down, then for fucks sake get some! You’re old enough to make your own decisions.”
Stunned by his rant, you scanned his face for any signs of emotions, but it was really hard to tell what was going on in his head. He sighs and dips his chin to the side, before finding your eyes again, taking your hand into his rough ones. The physical touch had a certain effect on you, and you wanted to be closer to him. Your future self your probably slap yourself in the face for this, but right now you got lost in his dark eyes and deep stare. Feeling vulnerable under the intensity of his gaze, not knowing what to do or say. Taking a quick breath, you uttered under your breath “where is this going, San?” Against all expectations, he smiles.
“Anything that happens here, between you and I, nobody else is gonna know about it. Not a single soul.” His hand slowly start to wander up your arm, touching the skin of your neck and threads his fingers through the strains of hair that rest on your shoulder. You don’t feel anything other than the alarms in the back of your mind slowly subside and be replaced by other thoughts.
“Just tell me no and I’ll stop.” His voice comes out raspy and seductive, and it sends waves of arousal down your core, even if the only physical contact you two had was from his wandering hands. The thought excited you, and he had a point: you could do whatever you wanted, and up until now, the consequences would keep you from giving into him. But there are no worries of the sort holding you back anymore, and if it was only for tonight, so be it. He was to strong, his effect was too strong.
His eyes never leave yours, until you give him an answer.
“Yes, okay. Yes I want it. I want you to show me what I’m missing out on.” You brace yourself for whats coming next, but nothing could prepare you for what he had in mind. He grabs your hips to lift you up, and in shock your arms fly to grab his shoulders. He settles you down in his lap, hands immediately find your ass and grips the flesh through your jeans. You both lean forward, hot breath mixing and hitting your faces. That was until San looses his patience just a few seconds later and presses his lips onto yours. And it wasn’t like anything you have ever felt before.
The two of you move in sync for what feels like ages, his tongue entering your mouth and taking the lead as he continues to grip your waist and butt to draw a few whimpers out of you. Your fingers found their place in his nape and gripped his hair as you busied your mouth with his. He breaks the kiss and moves down towards your neck and starts to suck on your skin, making marks blossom in shades of red and purple.
“If you want this to be a secret, you should make sure to cover up your marks later, because I’m not letting you go without adding my mark to your beautiful, beautiful body.”
Eyes blown out in lust, and you died in anticipation. He sucked more and more hickeys until he was satisfied with the finished product. He lifted his head up again and you wanted to kiss him again.
But then, you heard something hit the door from the outside, followed by a thud and a load groan. “San-ah! Let me in, I need to -“
—
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The Pack: Heated Petals
Summary- 2.7k Alpha Steve x Little One Reader. Steve is finishing up a project and was planning on taking you out but things get side tracked and turns out you two are not leaving for a while. 
Warnings- Smut, Female receiving Oral. 18+ readers only please. 
Written for @imanuglywombat​ “Is that even a sex position” weekly challenge. Divider made by @firefly-graphics​
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“Weekend plans?” Sam asked Steve while they waited for the logs to be unloaded from the back of the truck to be sent into the mill to be filed down and then Steve could arrange to have them shipped out to buyers. It had been a busy week, both the Alpha and Steve feeling like they neglected you in that time. Early days and late nights had him giving you a chaste kiss while out the door and quick bouts of sex late in the night before you curled up to him to sleep. 
No, he had to make it right. “I’m thinking about a weekend away, take Little One to a nice dinner, maybe go into the city and get a suite for us for the weekend.” Steve checked the time, anxious to get finished so he could do just that, he never was able to take you out on a date or a trip anywhere just for the two of you. “Peak foliage season right now, I think she would enjoy all of it.” The Alpha agreed with Steve, thumps of his tail marking his approval. 
“Sounds good, Sara is gonna catch a hint of that and be wanting to do the same.” Sam grinned while the last log got unloaded. “Think I might just steal your idea.” 
Steve dug for his keys now that they could head back. “Do it Man, I'm not one to stand in the way of love.” Sam rolled his eyes at the Pack Leader, Steve flashing him a grin as he hauled himself back into the truck. 
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You woke up knowing what was going to happen. Your thighs kept clenching together for the relieving pressure it would put on your pussy that started to ache. Not even playing with yourself in the shower had helped relieve it till Steve could get home. Growling in the hot water as you leaned your forehead against the coolness of the shower tile, willing yourself to just calm down. Your Alpha would be home soon. 
The Little Wolf whimpered, her ears flattening against her skull in discomfort. <Call him maybe?> 
I can’t, it's still early and he has been busting his ass to get this last order done. He's stressed out enough as it is. You countered with the Little Wolf, who although miserable with want, agreed that you were right. 
You both were stronger then the heat, you could get through today. 
Just as a precaution, you messaged Sara cancelling your typical coffee date. She didn't ask why, it was thankfully an unspoken understanding between shifters what was going on. Then you paced, back and forth through the cabin, out onto the deck and down to the dock, trying to let the cool fall air ease you to relax. 
If anything it all made you more on edge. Your gut clenching, and your thighs sticky while your pussy throbbed with what felt like every beat of your heart. Throb Throb Throb. 
You clenched your fists and pressed them against the top of your quivering thighs, whispering out “Son of a bitch.” To the only thing around you, the still lake water that seemed so calm, the complete opposite to the Little Wolf crying for her mate inside. 
He will be home soon, I know it. It's Friday. He always cuts the crew loose on Friday. You reasoned, probably more for your sanity then anything, but you could feel the Little Wolf try to settle down with that knowledge. It was then you heard the heavy machinery of the crew's gear rambling down the dirt road leading to the compound and you turned on your toes, head tilted listening for one in particular. The one Steve always took up the mountain. 
The distinct rattle of exhaust sounded and you broke into a sprint back along the dock and up the stairs. Buzzing through the house, you sprang onto the porch, tilting your nose up to inhale deeply, searching for him. Tangles of scents hit you. 
Motor Oil, the trees lining the compound, the cool musty lake, other pack members. None of them were your Alphas heavy calming scent of pine forest and iron, a soothing balm to your soul as well as gasoline to the embers of your hormones driving you mad. 
But it didn't take long for you to locate it, swarming your senses to cloud your mind of rational thought. Steve was in the garage, with a few other stragglers. He always stayed behind to make sure the equipment was put away correctly, a man was only able to work as good as the tools provided for him. 
You skipped down the steps and sprinted again, right now you needed one thing and one thing only. You needed Steve.
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Steve was just wiping his hands on a rag, biding the others a good weekend when his back stiffened. It was so distinct, the flooding of honeysuckle that had long ago became a pleasure scent for him, the one that was all you. Steve wasn't the only one to sense it, the other shifters still in the garage pausing to look warily back at the Alpha. Steve’s hair on the back of his neck stood on end, and the Alpha immediately raised from his slumber in the back of his mind. The Wolf’s hackles raised seeing so many between him and the Little One, his Little One who was just in heat and it made Steve’s mouth water and cock ache just catching the faintest whiff of you. But you were growing stronger, just outside of the garage door, and the Wolf started pressing for control of Steve, ready to rip through his lingering pack mates to get to you. Steve did what he could to keep the beast in control. “Get out” He growled deeply, challenging any to oppose him. 
Then you stepped in the doorway and that growl in Steve’s chest turned more threatening, short of a snarl. “Little One, come over here.” Demanded while his nostrils kept flaring, scenting you and you pushed through the packmates who were making a hasty retreat. It was dangerous to get between an Alpha and his mate in heat. Steve never broke eye contact with you, using you making your way towards him as his lifeline to keep in control. The Alpha visibly started shaking in restraint when you would accidentally brush against another on your way to him. The moment you reached him, the garage door slammed shut to the pair, leaving them alone. 
Steve immediately circled your waist with his hands and picked you up to perch on a nearby pickup truck's hood. Pressing his face into the top of your thighs, pressing in against the juncture of them, inhaling the addictive scent that had turned him completely feral in the moment. 
Your fingers pressed into his hair and pressed him in closer as he inhaled against your heat, your hips rolling into his face with a whine. “I really need you Alpha.” 
He bit the top of your thigh lightly before moving back to start working your pants open while you leaned back on your elbows, tilting your head back to try and breath through the next wave of arousal scorching you now that your Mate was close. Your panties and jeans were starting to stick to your skin, and felt so constricting. Your legs kicked out as he started to pull them down. 
“Fuck Little One, why didn’t you call me to come home? There was no need for you to suffer like this.” He growled in a reprimand as he tugged your pants off and you lifted your head guilty while his hands braced along the inside of your thighs and spread them apart to groan at the sight of slick covered petals, swollen in need for him. His cock so fucking hard in his jeans, raging with desire to sink into your heat and knot you while filling you full of cum. But this wasn’t about him. 
You rocked a bit under his gaze, which Steve didn't try to hide the fact that he was staring right in your most intimate spot that was weeping for him, ready to feel your Alpha claim you in every which way. “Because I didn't want to bother you while you were so busy.” 
His eyes snapped up and he stepped in closer, his fingers digging into your thighs. “I thought we went over this, when you go into heat, you're my focus. Fuck everything else.” Harsh kisses started at your ankle and moved up as he lifted a leg to lope over his shoulder, his tongue dragging through the slick on your inner most part of your thigh, but he yet didn't touch your sensitive folds and that made you whine sharply in protest at how he bypassed it. 
“We did-” You panted as your heel pressed into his upper shoulder blade, the cool air washing over your heated core making you shiver. Steve repeated the action with kissing your ankle and then biting in your calf sharp enough to leave his teeth imprint, cutting you off. 
“Next time Little One, you won’t wait, correct?” Dragging his tongue back up your inner thigh and resting his chin against the top of your mound, arched brows waiting for you to confirm. 
The Little Wolf huffed in frustration at you holding out from answering him right away, snapping at you while Steve nudged his nose through the tufts of pubic hair, also holding out on you till you growled out. 
“Yes Alpha, Yes. Please now?” You lifted your hips to have him touch you where you most wanted and strong hands were quick to grasp your ass cheeks, keeping you raised up near his mouth. “Even the Little Wolf is scolding me now.” You huffed and he chuckled as now he let the tip of his nose follow your slit, dragging your scent in like he could drown himself in it. 
“Cause she has common sense.” He teased, when he buried his mouth into your folds, dragging through the slick folds and sucking those sensitive petals into his mouth. You tensed at the sensation of Steve feasting on you. He never was subtle about how much he enjoyed you sprawled open like this for him. Groans and growls following thick hard laps of his tongue, pressing his face harder into sensitive flesh till you swore he imprinted himself into you. 
Slick mess coated his chin as he spread your petals apart to your weeping channel tightening with the sensations of the tip of his tongue tracing tight circles around, dipping into tease the walls before leaving you wanting more while he turned attention to your clit. 
Your sensitive little clit that he tugged between teeth that made you squeal and try to rock into him, scratching a bit at the truck's hood with a screech through the old paint job. “Steve! Fuck Alpha.” You yelped at him and he shook his head to stimulate you more while glancing up at you heatedly. 
“This pussy is mine Little One, I'm going to enjoy my meal.” He sucked the top of your mound into his mouth, his tongue putting pressure against your swollen bud till you were rocking to grind into his face, his hands helping you move back and forth. Now you gushed around him, coats of arousal catching in his beard, glistening while he rubbed his chin against your thigh with a scratchy brush against soft skin, turning it red. Rubbing his scent into you as well as marking you. 
Plump handfuls of your flesh in his hands made him strengthen his grasp on you, digging in harshly while you tried to make your own rocky demands. It would be some time till those fingertip bruises left your flesh, just as his sharp bites to your inner thighs or the beard burn your folds were taking. He was heady with intoxication on your honeysuckle arousal. Warm and enticing, he could keep buried in your pussy just because you were so good to him, slurping up your addicting juices with demanding lips and tongue, your quivering flesh captured in his teeth and he suckled on you. Loud growls overtook the wet sound of him feasting on your pussy, and in no time you started thrashing in your orgasm, bangs of your body on the unforgiving metal of the truck hood. 
He lifted for air, your body heaving as you tried to catch air and your head tilted back while you let the satisfaction of your orgasm wash over you for a few moments of relief with that first orgasm. Steve massaged his hands against your ass while your trembling thighs fell off his shoulders to drape over the edge of the hood. He pulled you open for him once more and the cold air once more made your sweat streaked body goosebump. Steve eased your hips to rest on the edge of the pickups hood, you let your sticky back rest down, running your hands up and down your still clenching body, riding out the last of your orgasm as you heard a zipper drop and buckle open. 
Closing your eyes while you hummed happily, you could already feel the coil spiral in your lower belly, but knowing your Alpha was just about to knot you kept you from getting too impatient. Steve leaned over you while grasping your hips to pull you to the edge. Your legs wrapped around his hips while you reached up to grasp his biceps, to pull yourself up to sit. 
“Mmhh, hold on Little One.” Steve warned before pressing his erection into you. There was no easing in, stretching you open, he just forced himself hilt deep and you revealed in the way it burned with a hiss escaping you, his ruts deep and demanding while you did just as he told you. Digging into his straining biceps and tightening around his hips that rocked upwards to continue railing you, ready to knot your weeping pussy when you came for him again. 
It wouldn't be long, so sensitive after he ate you out. Your head dropped to his shoulders while he grunted against your ear, bouncing you off him and the truck's hood while he pulled you up and down his cock. 
“So fucking good Little One.” He bit your neck sharply while mummering the words, muffling his noises while he angled himself. Reaching between your bodies, he thrummed your clit expertly, causing your flutters to start clenching his pounding cock, until you shuddered around him, coming again while giving a cry into his shoulder, loosening your hold a bit tiredly and letting your body just go slack. But he didn't let you sink back, he crushed you tighter to his chest, his thrusts staggering with utmost goal in mind and when he painted your channel for the first time, the knot followed to keep his seed deep in you, small thrusts pushing him deeper till he stalled with a moan, licking where he bit you harshly to clean any blood dotting the mark before pulling back. His hold loosens a bit to rub up and down your back.
You to lift your head, purring while you pressed your lips to his, nuzzling your nose against his before brushing your face against his in a affectionate way, your hands sliding from where you grasped his biceps to smooth along his chest, lifting and lowering under his palm where he was breathing heavily. 
“Can I ride you next?” You asked heatedly, your mind still lust filled with desire to have him fill you with his seed again. Rubbing your body against his while moaning at the way his knot kept you stretched and stuffed with him. “We could probably sneak back home now.” 
Steve growled, placing nipping kisses along your face and then sucking on your neck. “Why do we have to go back home? Little One, that is exactly what truck beds are made for.” Circling his arms under your thighs and ass, he lifted you off the hood while you were still full of him, making you squeak in shock at the movement and tightening your legs around his waist to keep you in place while he carried you around to the back, making you giggle excitedly as he set you down on the edge, easing from you now that his knot loosened. You moved to crawl into the truck bed, him following along right behind you with grabbing hands and flipped to his back, pulling your thighs to straddle him. Instead of easing you down though, Steve pulled you up towards his face, licking his lips. 
“But you can only ride my cock after your ride my face Little One.” 
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alch3mic · 3 years
Note
Beast or Prince's darling discovering their yandere tendencies? I'd love to see some drama go down
Strange how the twisting shadows of night made the estate halls feel so.. unfamiliar.
Those once pristine and well decorated walls that lured you into the estate so long ago now looked tainted by the darkness scrawled upon their surface, while the tile flooring felt even colder beneath your bare feet as you traversed the dim halls with nothing but a cellphone flashlight and the rain to keep you company.
Thunder and lightning crackled outside distantly, enlightening the hallways briefly in brilliant white flashes before plunging them back into the depths of obscurity. It, along with the deafening sounds of rain pattering against the windows, was enough to make your heart nearly pound right out of your poor chest.
.....
Was this some kind of classic horror movie set up or what?
Sheesh!
Talk about clichĂ©! The only thing that was missing from this scene was some kind of terrible scary monster or knife wielding psycho lurking around the corner, and then you’d be the star of the next box office thriller!
At least the thought was funny enough to make you chuckle before another flash of lightning and crackling of thunder made you nearly jump out of your own skin.
...
.....Maybe.. you should’ve stayed in bed..
The thought of turning your butt right back around and just returning to your room was rather tempting.. but..
You had three burning questions in your mind that you just knew would keep you up all night if you turned back now.
Number one, what was that loud crashing sound that had woken you out of your dreams? You’re at least very certain it wasn’t thunder because the storm only started a few minutes after you left your bed.
Number two, why was the power out? Never, in all of your time of staying here, had the lights ever gone out like this. Papyrus once told you they ran on their own line out here on the estate with their own generators, separate from the city grid just so they could keep things on in case of a city wide power outage. So.. why? Why was the power out, even before this crazy storm even started? What happened?
And lastly.. number three..
....Where was Sans?
He had bunked with you in your room today after a late night of playing some video games together, but when you suddenly awoke he was... gone.
That had concerned you, because he wasn’t there when the crashing sound happened, which meant he left sometime before the storm started. It wasn't until you found his phone still placed upon your nightstand that your worries grew. He always kept his phone on him..
Now straddled with anxiety you gathered yourself before heading out in search of your boyfriend.
Just where in the world did he go?
.....
You checked your cell phone again.
...Still no service.
Dammit.
Great.. juuuust great.
...Maybe Sans' would..?
Nope.
That was a bust too.
You let out a huff of annoyance, even trying to wave his phone above your head in the hopes of getting a single bar of service, but it was to no avail.
There was another moment where you looked back to the hall you had just been wandering through, wondering if you really should just head back.. but..
It was foreign now.
You in all honesty had no idea where you were.
Like, you weren't even sure if you were in the west wing anymore, the once bright halls becoming like an endless labyrinth or darkness and spooky noises.
....
..Well, looks like your only choice now was to press on in hopes you’d find one of the brothers. The estate really was big, but they had to be somewhere..!
...Right..?
.........Right.
So onward you walked.
......
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Even the soft steps of your bare feet made eerie echoes that resounded with the quiet hum or rain.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Another flash of lightning and crackle of thunder, another small scare.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
A left..? Or maybe a right? Well that flower pot looked familiar at least. ...Maybe..? K-kind of?
.....
Alright maybe you were a little scared now.
How could you not be!?
Everything felt tense and haunting, your anxiety spiraling the more you wandered around in the dark! Maybe this was just a dream.. a weirdly realistic dream.. and you’d wake up to find yourself still nicely snuggled in bed with your bone friend all safe and soun-
Wait.
.....That was..
Oh! You recognized those doors! They led out to the garden!
That sinking feeling in your chest was replaced with a sense of hope as you finally gained a sense of your surroundings, taking a few hopeful steps forward.
BANG.
You nearly screamed as the double doors out to the garden swung open accompanied by a flash of lightning. Thankfully the light faded just in time for you to see..
"Sans!" you called out as your skeletal boyfriend stepped inside and shut the doors behind him.
You quickly approached, stopping just a few feet away.
"You're...!" you inhaled sharply, gazing upon him. "...Soaking wet!"
And also dressed.
No longer was he adorned in one of his cute sets of pajamas, but a clean white button up, dark pants, heavy boots and thick work gloves, all now sticking to his bones from being soaked by the rain.
A deep sigh came out from your boyfriend and he shook his head, drops of water twinkling as they caught the light before splattering to the floor, while other droplets were just encouraged to finish their run down his face.
"HEH. IT'S REALLY IS RAINING SOMETHING FIERCE," he muttered lightly. "I'M THANKFUL TO SEE THAT DAMNED SKY TUCKED AWAY SINCE IT'S BEEN SO SUNNY THESE PAST FEW WEEKS BUT.. WHAT TERRIBLE TIMING."
You closed the distance between you two, stopping once more right before him and looked up and down in worry.
"Are you-" you began, but he merely reached out to gently catch your chin in his gloved hand.
It felt wet and cold, sending shivers down your spine.
"I'M ALRIGHT DEAREST," Sans chuckled, his eyelights roaming over your face.
"..Really?"
The ever so familiar hearts in his eyelights seemed to grow a bit bigger as he looked at you, his hand leaving your chin to carefully brush a few strands of hair.
"REALLY," he confirmed.
You found yourself shivering once more as his cold gloved fingers lightly lingered on your cheek before he fully retracted his hand and began pulling his gloves off.
"AND WHAT ABOUT YOU MY DEAR? ARE YOU ALRIGHT? IT'S QUITE DANGEROUS TO BE WANDERING AROUND SO LATE ESPECIALLY IN THE DARK."
"..I'm fine," you said, your hand reaching inside your pocket to pull out his phone. "I just.. woke up to a crashing noise and you weren't there. Then I saw your phone and it started raining like crazy and the lights wouldn't turn on so I got.."
You flushed a bit when he smiled at your ramblings.
"..Worried."
"HEH. THOUGHT I DO APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERNS MY SWEET, YOU SHOULD NEVER WORRY ABOUT ME," he chuckled, taking his phone. "I'M HERE TO PROTECT YOU, ALWAYS."
He didn't even give the device a look over before stashing it into his wet pocket, shoving his gloves into another one and began rolling up his sleeves and loosening his collar.
A strange silence fell for a moment as you both stood there, a small flame being ignited in your chest as you watched him move.
"..Sans?"
"YES, DEAREST?"
"Is everything really okay?" you asked quietly, your hand scrunching up the fabric at the end of your pajama t-shirt.
"OF COURSE!" he said, giving you one heck of a cute smile. "...WELL, I MEAN.. THE POWER IS STILL OUT AND I AM SOAKED TO THE BONE, BUT YES EVERYTHING IS FINE MY LOVE."
....
"...You're lying to me, aren't you..?"
....
Sans didn't say another word, instead just keeping that impossibly sweet smile swept over his features as he stopped unbuttoning his collar and looked at you for a moment.
His silence was calculated, just like his expression and his movements. For he knew that if he spoke anything more, you'd catch on more to the underlying anger in his tone.
It was the exact kind of anger that always stuck around after something happened.
You've.. gotten better at hearing it over the months that you've become closer to him.
At picking up the emotions he hid behind that princely charm and smiles.
It's how you could tell that things were absolutely not alright.
That he was lying to you.
...Again.
Once again you were being kept in the dark about something.
Once again Sans was covering your eyes from seeing clearly.
Why..?
Even though the two of you had grown so close. Even though you've swore to him to the moon and back that he could trust you. Even though you promised..!
Why does he still..!?
.....
He offered his hand to you, catching your eye before you looking back up at him. That smile of his turned just a bit fonder, and he merely tilted his head in a quiet encouragement for you to take his offer.
Stand your ground.
Don't let him do this!
Not again!
....
Quietly you took his hand, the feeling of his bones damp and clammy against your warmed skin from having your fists clenched so tightly before.
He bent in, and placed a tender kiss upon your check, making you shiver from the cold water that trickled on to your neck and shoulder.
Then he pulled back out, giving you one more loving smile before taking a step, and then another..
And you did the same, following as he led you away from those double doors out to the garden and back into the blackened halls from whence you came.
His boots squeaked against the marbled floorings and loose raindrops continued to descend down his skull, followed by the soft patter of your feet as he led you without another word.
...Again.
Again you were.. too afraid to say anything. The words came bubbling up your throat, threatening to break free at any moment.
But you kept your mouth shut tight.
You were afraid....
Of what the truth might be.
Of this fairytale that you so desperately sought and now finally had.. falling to pieces.
Of who your Prince Charming might really be.
Was he really the soft, sweet and lonely skeleton you saw beyond all of the make believe? Or was he..?
.....
Another distant flash and strike of thunder, and once again the halls were enlightened.
Your gaze dipped only for a second from Sans' back, enough to catch a bare glimpse of something before it became dark once more.
....
That..
Couldn't have been right..
..Right?
Something like that... shouldn't be...
.....
..No..
Your eyes were certainly not deceiving you.
You know what you saw.. without question, even in the passing light.
For at the very edges of Prince's dampened white shirt.
...Was red.
"DEAREST."
"Y-yes?"
"JUST REMEMBER, I LOVE YOU VERY, VERY MUCH... AND THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT."
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petri808 · 3 years
Note
hi!! can u do 30, 25 and 21 for bakudekuđŸ€”đŸ€”
Smut prompts Quick, while the kids are asleep + Someone is feeling frisky tonight + I know the best way to celebrate đŸ€Ł this’ll be fun. As a parent I totally understand the feeling lol
Bakudeku with A/B/O underpinnings. O!Izuku & A!Katsuki. Porn Drabble w/minimal plot lol
If you think parenting is exhausting, try having fraternal twins whose personalities resemble their father’s thrown into the mix. Between working as a pro hero part time and raising the little alpha hellions, there were days Izuku Bakugou fueled himself on coffee and a prayer. Frankly, going out and taking down a villain was the relaxing part of his week.
After putting the twins to bed, Izuku dropped face first onto their downy nest where his husband was sitting propped up and reading the daily paper. “Akane and Takao finally went to sleep,” he mumbled into the pillow. “They just had to inherit your energy levels instead of mine.”
Katsuki chuckled, “they start school in spring, so that’ll help them burn some off. And you love my energy level,” he teased, tickling lightly at his mates’ side. “If it wasn’t for the birth control, we’d have a pack by now.”
Izuku turned to his side to avoid the tickling with a small blush lighting his cheeks. “Congrats on catching the villain today, Kacchan. He’s been a menace all week, so it’s great someone finally caught him.”
“Mmm,” Katsuki hummed as a grin took over, “and I know the best way to celebrate.” He put down the paper and pulled the man closer while sending out a wave of intoxicating pheromones to awaken his mate’s inner omega. “You’re tired, I can tell,” Katsuki crooned low and deep as his mate whimpered, “but I’ll take care of you Izu.”
“We should be quick, while the kids are asleep.”
“Tch. They’ll sleep till morning, as long as you’re not too loud.” Izuku’s blush deepened from the truthful words. “Come on baby,” Katsuki pulled his mate into his arms and stood up, carrying the man towards the bathroom. “I’ll give you a bath.”
“Someone is feeling frisky tonight,” Izuku giggled, for he knew exactly what his mate was insinuating. Water sex was a treat, but also dampened the noise— a necessity when you’ve got kids.
“I’m always feeling frisky when you’re this close.” Katsuki teased back. “Besides,” he kissed Izuku’s forehead. “Taking care of you is my honor.”
Izuku purred and snuggled to his husband’s chest. “And no one takes better care of me then Kacchan.” Outsiders who only saw Katsuki’s tough side would be shocked at how soft he was behind closed doors.
“Damn right!” Katsuki’s inner alpha preened with pride. He put his mate down and stripped them both of clothing, before turning on the shower. Their modest house had a fully enclosed, tiled hybrid bathroom containing both a modern shower and a furo tub for soaking. Izuku could bathe the children in the traditional manner, while the adults could shower or soak after a grueling day of work. It was a feature that prompted Katsuki to buy the place for his growing family.
While Izuku kept his arms loosely draped over his mate’s shoulders, Katsuki kept his nose buried in the man’s neck, kissing along the flesh as he gently lathered up the rest of his body, and took in the licentious scent emanating from Izuku’s mate mark. He didn’t need to see what he was doing, having mapped out and committed to memory every curve and crevice on his mate’s form. Toned and sinewy muscled back and chest, the man’s childbearing hips, sweet, juicy ass, to a cute little cocklet and his plump little pussy. Even the tiny little pooch still evident on his stomach— a mark of having born a pup, they were all beautiful to Katsuki. Izuku had always been his, and there was nothing in the world that could ever take that away.
As the water cascaded over their bodies and washed away the soap, Katsuki’s fingers teased, palming the short shaft full of sensitive nerve endings. “Kacchan
” Izuku mewled at the man’s lingering hand over his cocklet.
“Shh,” Katsuki silenced the whining with his mouth.
The steamy air grew thick with their heightened pheromones. Izuku’s muffled moans melded with the sounds of the water and his thighs squeezed together, rubbing at the burning ache building up between them. His inner omega only wanted one thing, but the alpha aimed to satisfy all his other senses too.
“Izu
” Katsuki growled headily as his fangs bit down on the man’s mate mark.
“Ka—” Izuku bit down and clenched his jaw to stop his cries. No way he wanted to wake the kids now as the flood of stimulants surged through his body. “Please
” he whined.
The alpha picked Izuku up and placed his back against the wall as a brace, while the omega moved on instinct to wrap his legs around the man’s hips. Izuku then maneuvered the alphas cock into place and ground down, sheathing it until the knot caught hold. Katsuki gasped, moaned into his mate’s neck— oh, how he loved the completed feeling it always gave... His lips found purchase once again, taking all that Izuku gave in return, their heated breaths and tongues exploring as if for the first time.
Izuku wove a hand through Katsuki’s wet hair while the other dug into the flesh of his shoulder, squeezing, nails digging in with each forceful push, and rock of the alphas thrusting hips. He wanted to call out the man’s name in a mantra for the world to hear, but bore it down in his mind, with only slips of wispy mewls and purrs leaching through clenched teeth. Harder
 he begged psychically, and as if heard through their bond, Katsuki suddenly planted his footing and pressed harder, pumping his hips faster until Izuku was bouncing off the hard tile wall.
The increased rubbing against his cocklet, coupled with the friction burning the walls of his entrance became too much for Izuku as he came undone. Katsuki clamped his mouth over the man’s lips seconds after his name was screamed and held it while the orgasm spawned through his mate’s entire frame, legs clenching and releasing, and nails drawing watery bloody trails along his back and shoulders. Adrenaline was all that kept him from feeling any pain, the high of satisfaction ready to force his own inevitable conclusion.
Katsuki thrust his hips full force one more time to push the knot all the way in, “Fuc—” groaning into Izuku’s mouth at the euphoric feeling. He held his mate down by the hips, fingers gripping to the bony points to make sure he didn’t pull out accidentally and rode out each pump of seed being milked dry.
So far, so good, no sounds of waking children, only the flow of water cascading around them, mixed with their heavy breathing. Izuku’s legs loosened, but Katsuki kept him from falling. He kissed the omegas skin above the red and swollen mate mark, giving it a few healing licks. “I’m so lucky to have you,” he crooned to his beautiful, green-haired omega.
“I’m lucky to have my Kacchan,” Izuku purred back. “My
 Kacchan
” he kissed the alphas lips soft and slow. “Maybe
 after the kids start primary, we could have one more?”
Katsuki chuckled and kissed his mate while placing a gentle hand over the omegas stomach. “I can’t wait to see you waddling around the house again.”
“Kacchan!” Izuku pouted. “That’s mean.”
“Why?” The alpha grinned. “I think you’re fucking adorable.”
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the-iceni-bitch · 3 years
Text
Somethin’ Warm to Come To
Pairing: Billy Lee x dark!Fem Reader
Words: ~2.9k
Summary: There’s a new girl in the big house, but you’re Billy’s favorite.
Warnings: DARK!!!!!!!! Explicit language, explicit sexual content (f receiving oral sex, unprotected vaginal sex, forced voyeurism), violence (implied character death, mentions of killing and butchering animals for food, f to f violence), definite psychological torment, smoking, SMUT!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!
A/N: I am definitely going to hell guys, this proves it. Please avoid if you’re one of my soft sweet babies! Thanks so much @sweeterthanthis for giving this a once over to make sure I didn’t go too overboard! Also, I know it’s pretty heavily implied in the movie that Billy’s partners are underage but we’re gonna say everyone here is over eighteen.
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You hummed softly to yourself as you worked on slicing the vegetables for the stew you were making for dinner.
Heather and Autumn were helping you in the kitchen, the two younger women working on butchering the chicken you had slaughtered earlier as you gave them instructions over your shoulder. Billy was still out, taking care of some problem one of the families on the commune was having, but he’d promised he was going to be back before the sun set.
It was your night, one of the two Billy set aside every week when it was just the two of you, the other women sent to their side cabin while you got lost in each other. You didn’t mind sharing him the rest of the time, but you were his first and his best, the queen of his little kingdom.
You turned to look when the screen door opened and sighed in exasperation when Rose came flowing in, eating an apple that she must have picked from the tree in the yard.
“Hello Rose.” You said, putting the cut up onions in the pot before moving on to the carrots. “Where have you been all morning?”
“Just walking around.” She said with a shrug, perching on a stool as she watched the three of you work. “It’s gorgeous outside.”
“I could’ve sworn I asked you to take care of the laundry.” You murmured, shooting your eyes towards the basket you had set by the back door.
She rolled her eyes at you before tossing the apple core in the bin and standing up to stretch lazily. You could feel the other two women tensing up behind you at her attitude, sensing your anger that the youngest woman seemed oblivious to.
Rose has only been with you a few months, and you were still a little pissed at Billy for bringing her into your delicate little ecosystem. She was lazy and stubborn, but so pretty and Billy just had to have her. At least she was good in bed, a little selfish though.
You’d almost slapped her last week when she refused to help keep the sheriff off Billy’s back when he was over for dinner. You had been buttering that man up for years with Billy’s sweet young wives and she almost blew the whole fucking thing until Autumn stepped up. She’d had the audacity to suggest you take care of him yourself and Billy had to hold you back to keep you from doing something stupid.
“I’ll do it tomorrow.” She said with a light laugh as she slapped the counter rhythmically. “Where’s Billy?”
“Taking care of something with the Hendersons.” You told her, chewing the inside of your cheek to keep from yelling at her. “They’ve been having trouble with coyotes getting into their chickens.”
She just snorted as she sauntered into the kitchen, inspecting what you were doing with minimal interest.
“Fine.” She said, hopping up onto the counter next to where you were working. “I think I’m gonna join you guys for dinner tonight.”
You heard Heather let out a gasp behind you and felt her and Autumn go completely still as you continued slicing.
“That’s not up to you.” You seethed as you tossed the carrots into the pot.
“I think Billy will be fine with it.” She said with a wicked grin. “He’s always so happy to see me.”
“Not up to him either.” You growled, stabbing the knife into the cutting board with a vicious thrust as you grabbed a hand towel.
“What, you jealous?” She teased you, kicking her feet lazily. “Not my fault Billy’s getting sick of that dried up snatch.”
You felt a wave of calm wash over you and stared at her for a beat before grabbing the back of her head and slamming it into the corner of the wall.
“Get out.” You said flatly to the other two women who were giving you terrified looks. “Now.”
They scurried out the back door without a second glance as you stood over Rose, who was holding her face and whimpering as she rolled around on the floor. You cocked your head as she tried to crawl away, grabbing her hair and yanking her up as she yelped in pain.
“C’mon sweetheart, let me see that pretty face you’re so proud of.” You cooed, a mocking look of concern on your face as you bent to look into her eyes.
She sniffled as she pulled her hands away from her face slowly. You tutted once you got a look at her, blood streaming over her chin from her nose and mouth.
“Not so pretty any more.” You said with a grin as you straightened back up.
She yelped as you slammed her face into the counter twice more until she finally shut up, dropping her to sag to the floor as you moved back to finish the stew. You frowned when you noticed the spray of blood across the front of your white linen dress but eventually shrugged before setting back to work, ignoring the crimson pool that was spreading across the tiles.
Billy walked through the door two hours later and grinned when he smelled the food. As much as he enjoyed having one of the pretty young things share your bed, he really loved having you all to himself.
“Hey sunflower.” He hummed when he walked into the dining room, wrapping himself around you and pressing his lips to yours as he wrapped his hands in your hair.
“Hey stardust.” You murmured happily against his lips. “I made your favorite.”
“You’re my favorite.” He cooed, rubbing his nose against yours before turning to take in the meal you’d set out. “Oh, what happened?”
Rose was tied to a chair at the opposite end of the table, her face purple and swollen as she cried around her gag. Billy noticed the blood splattered across your dress as you moved to slice the bread and he sank into his chair.
“Rose here wanted to join us this evening.” You said nonchalantly as you served him. “So I decided to make an exception to our alone time.”
“Shit, she mouth off to you baby?” He asked, his palm running over your thigh absentmindedly as he pulled you closer.
“Just a little.” You muttered as you sank into his lap.
“Well fuck, honey.” He purred as you tore off a piece of bread and brought it to his lips. “That’s no good.”
“I know. I fucking told you this would happen.” You hummed as he took a bite of the bread, his hands slowly dragging your skirt up to your hip.
“Yeah, I’m sorry sunflower.” He murmured before nuzzling into your neck. “Dunno why I didn’t listen to you.”
“Mmm, I forgive you stardust.” You moaned as he slid a hand between your thighs. “You really should eat your food though before it gets cold.”
“I’m only hungry for one thing, and it’s always nice and warm for me.”
You laughed lightly as he tossed you onto the table and wrenched your skirt up until it was gathered around your waist. He tossed your knees over his shoulders and started to plant soft kisses on the insides of your thighs.
He burying his face at the apex of your thighs and you moaned as he mouthed hungrily at your sex. You buried your fingers in his chestnut locks as his tongue swirled through your folds and he growled into your core.
“Fuck, Billy.” You whined when he wrapped his arms around your legs and pressed himself even further into you, shaking his head softly to bury his face even deeper in your folds.
You felt him grinning as your pussy clenched against his face, your arousal soaking his mustache and chin as he lapped at your clit. He held your legs open as he thrust his tongue inside you and you let out a wail.
“You taste like heaven, sunflower.” He purred as he gazed up at you through his lashes. “You wanna fuck my face while that little bitch watches?”
“Mm, yes. You know me so well, stardust.” You said, biting your lip and grinning as you peeked over your shoulder at Rose, your smile growing even wider when you saw tears leaking down her cheeks.
You started to grind against Billy’s face as he curled his tongue inside you against that spot that made your toes curl. His fingers pressed into your hips so hard they were going to leave bruises as you fought against his grip to clench your thighs around his head.
“Shit, right there.” You sobbed, your legs quivering with strain as your body went rigid before your release flowed into his mouth.
He groaned as you came around his tongue, your pussy fluttering wildly as you planted your free hand behind you to keep you from collapsing back against the table. You slowly relaxed as you came down, tugging Billy’s hair softly to tilt his head back and grin at him as you watched him run his tongue over his lips slowly.
He stood up between your legs and cupped your cheek as he gazed at you before bending to press his lips to yours softly. You sighed with content as you tasted yourself on his lips, tracing the curve of his mouth with your tongue and sliding his loose shirt down his shoulders.
“Hey! Open your fucking eyes!” He hissed over your shoulder as he snapped his fingers at Rose who had screwed her eyes closed and was trying to turn away. “You wanted to be here, so now you're gonna watch.”
He stepped away from you and prowled towards the opposite end of the table, ignoring the muted pleading that was coming from behind Rose’s gag. You swayed your legs lazily as he started to drag her towards where you were waiting. He slammed the front of the chair down dangerously before slotting himself between your thighs again.
You purred as he slowly undid the buttons on the front of your dress and bent to brush his lips over your collarbone. His hands moved to your waist after he slipped the sleeves down your arms, drawing you closer to him as his mouth traced the column of your throat.
Your hands moved between the two of you as he moved his face to run over your breasts, your fingers working quickly to undo his jeans.
“Fuck, flower.” He groaned as you drew his cock out and wrapped your hand around him, swirling your thumb through the precum that had collected at his tip. “Wanna feel that perfect cunt of yours around me.”
“Yeah? I want to feel that pretty cock of yours split me open, baby.” You teased as you lined him up, reaching out to slap Rose across the face when you saw her closing her eyes again. “Eyes open, bitch.”
He slid into you slowly with a low groan, leaning his forehead against yours as he watched you closely. You mewled softly as you felt him fill you up, your pussy fluttering around him once his hips met yours and you adjusted to his girth.
Your eyes rolled up into your skull as he drew out of you halfway before thrusting forward again, his hips slapping on your thighs as he drove into you roughly. He ducked his head and sucked a bruise below your ear as his arms wrapped around you, on hand trailing up your back to wind through your hair.
The soft sobbing sounds from Rose really spurred the two of you on, Billy’s thrusts becoming more vicious as he let out a feral growl against your throat. You dragged your nails over his back as his tip nudged against your cervix, making your vision white out for a second before you let out a shriek and came around him.
“Fuck, god you feel so fucking good.” He groaned as he followed you when you collapsed back against the table, pressing his chest to yours as he fucked you through it. “Like you were fucking made for my cock.”
“That’s cuz I was, stardust.” You cooed, wrapping your legs around his waist and arching your back to meet his thrusts. “We were made for each other, all this other pussy is just icing on the damn cake.”
He grinned before kissing you deeply, hooking his hands under your knees and drawing them up to loop over his shoulders as he sank into you even deeper. You whined as he ground against you, rubbing his pubic bone into your clit and making your breath hitch in your chest.
“So damn beautiful.” He murmured as he watched you fall apart. “Can’t believe this stupid cunt thought she could take your place.”
You bit your lip and your entire body spasmed with the force of your orgasm, your release squirting across Billy’s stomach. He buried his face in your neck and let out a low growl at the feel of your pussy clenching around him.
Your legs unwound from around his shoulders as he slowly pulled out of you, giving you a teasing grin before he flipped you over and slammed back into you. He brushed your hair out of his way and bent to press his lips to the back of your neck as he leaned his chest on your back, sinking his weight on top of you as his cock dragged against your g-spot.
“You close, flower?” He cooed, nipping at the shell of your ear. “I want this bitch to watch me fill you up.”
You turned your head to the side and beamed at Rose as Billy’s cock twitched inside you and his tongue traced the curve of your ear.
“Yeah, I’m real close baby.” You purred, arching your back to meet his hips as he buried his face in your hair.
He wrapped one hand underneath you, snaking his arm between your breasts before pressing his fingers to your throat and giving a gentle squeeze. His other hand brushed your hair from your face softly and cupped your jaw, his thumb tugging at your bottom lip until you sucked it into your mouth with a moan.
You gasped when he suddenly straightened, pulling you up with him as he knelt with one knee on the table and the other foot planted on the floor.
“Do it honey.” He groaned as you nipped at the pad of his thumb. “Wanna feel that pretty pussy cream all over my cock. Show this stupid cow what she thought she could steal from you.”
He sank his teeth into your shoulder and you let out a low moan as your whole body tried to arch off the table. You wrapped your hands around his forearms to anchor yourself as stars exploded behind your eyes, your voice leaving you in a hoarse cry as a wave of ecstasy crashed over you.
You felt Billy swelling inside you, his thrusts starting to become erratic as his own end loomed. He stilled his hips suddenly and groaned in your ear before he was filling you with warmth, his spend coating your satiny walls in thick ropes that started to leak down the insides of your thighs.
“Oh, that’s my good girl.” He cooed, holding you close to him as he relaxed, leaning back on his heel as his lips traced the curve of your neck. “My perfect little sunflower. Love you so much, honey.”
“Mmm, love you too, Billy.” You hummed, sinking back against him as his fingers ran over your skin. “What d’you want me to do with this cunt?”
He pressed his lips against your cheek in a warm kiss before untangling himself from you slowly. You groaned when his softening cock slid out of you, a soft wet sound accompanying it as his seed ran down your thigh in a slow trickle.
Billy stood up and walked towards Rose slowly, frowning as he watched her sob around her gag and fight her bonds. He gripped her chin harshly and turned her face towards him, looking closely at the bruises you’d left all over her pretty face.
“Disgusting.” He spat, releasing his grip on her chin and letting her head sag against her chest as he wiped his cock off on her skirt. “Should’ve been happy with what she had. Get rid of her baby.”
You beamed at him as he prowled to the kitchen to grab a cigarette, ignoring the renewed screaming that was coming from Rose’s mouth. You followed after him, grabbing your carving knife off the counter before heading back to the dining room.
“The west garden bed needs some new fertilizer anyway.” You said, hefting the blade and cocking your head at Rose as she knocked the chair over in an attempt to flee.
“Whatever you want baby.” He murmured, taking a long drag when the screaming finally stopped. “I’ll let you help me pick the next one.”
——————————————————————————
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261 notes · View notes
nvrrmiind · 3 years
Text
Not In The Same Way ; Calum Hood
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: smut & swearing -- like always
Summary: the one where y/n doesn't love Calum the way she used to.
(Read more of my work here)
***
It started like most relationships did, with fiery passion and unrealistic standards of happiness. In the beginning there was an overwhelming feeling of love and trust, like they’d known each other in a different life and had somehow found each other again in this one. They’d joked about being soulmates, but as their relationship progressed it would become evident that that wasn’t the case. Not because they didn’t love each other enough, but because they loved each other too much. In fact, they loved each other so much that it prevented them from being happy.
Calum had met her through a friend of a friend, who couldn’t stop talking about the beautiful girl with the killer smile and vibrant personality. Eventually one thing led to another and they met for drinks on a terrace overlooking the city. They seemed perfect for each other, both adventurous, yet laid back, and both aspiring to make a name for themselves. Perfect, however, as the years progressed, was the last thing outsiders would dare to call the pair.
It’s like what everyone says, what is good, must eventually come to an end.
***
“I love you. You know that, right?” He whispered, fingers trailing up and down her naked back.
“Yea, I know that.” She sighed, trying to muster up the strength to give him a smile.
Their bodies were covered in a light layer of sweat, yet she was cold to the touch. Her face lay on the back of her hands as she turned away from him, her chest feeling heavy. She couldn’t muster up the courage to tell him that she loved him anymore, much like how she couldn’t muster up the courage to give him cheesy smiles or squinting eyes that were filled with happiness.
She’d given up responding to his ‘I love yous’. It’s not that she didn’t love him anymore, because she did, but not in the same way she used to. She used to love him with the entirety of her heart and soul; she used to admire everything he did and couldn’t find a single thing wrong about him. But as her infatuation dwindled and real life began to kick her ass, it was getting harder for her to remember all of the things she used to love about him.
“I’m going out.”
“Okay.” She felt him leave a lingering kiss on her shoulder before their bed dipped and he was leaving to the bar yet again.
Two and a half years, she’d sigh. Have I wasted two and a half years of my life on a relationship that is going to amount to nothing? And am I going to continue to allow myself to feel this miserable, and if so, for how long? These questions swirled through her mind constantly for the past couple of months; and to be frank, she wasn’t sure how to answer any of them. She felt stuck between her past and present self, because she didn’t want to leave the man who she lived with and built a life with, but she also wanted to branch off and do different things. She was still so young and full of life, why should she spend it with a man she was no longer in love with.
That was it, she decided. She still loved him, but she wasn’t in love with him.
By the time she’d managed to get out of bed and showered off the lingering smell of him, he was stumbling up the stairs, drunk off his ass; a normal routine of his for the past few weeks. Because while she was ignoring and avoiding her relationship issues, he was feeling all of the blow-back from it. Calum was feeling the space that she was putting between the two of them and how she hadn’t told him she loved him. He could tell that she wasn’t happy and he knew that he was the reason for it, but he wasn’t sure why.
She avoided her problems by shutting down and he avoided his problems by drinking. Maybe they still were a match made in heaven, he thought sarcastically.
“You’re home early.” She remarked, meeting his drunken gaze. He was standing in the doorway, slowly swaying on his feet. It was hard not to notice his puffy lip and the cut above his eyebrow. While she continued to trail her eyes down his frame, she stopped at his busted knuckles.
“They kicked me out.”
“I can see that.” Her eyebrows were furrowed as she approached him, loosely linking her hands with his. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”
“I’m sorry.” He hissed as she brushed the alcohol pad over his cut. His hands were bruised, and hurt when he gripped them into fists, but he still gripped her close to him.
“What happened?”
“You want me to be honest?”
“I always want you to be honest with me.” She nodded, her free hand cupping the side of his face, her thumb running across the underside of his eye, his eye-bags evident from the lack of sleep he’d been getting.
“I wanted to fight.” He was sitting on the side of the tub, his body melting into hers.
“You’re a psycho sometimes.”
“Only for you babe.” He winked, flashing a quick smile, something she had missed seeing.
Times like this, when he held her close, and they had their comforting witty banter, she felt like everything was okay again. But nothing would really ever be the same again, not with the two of them. The damage was already done, but neither of them wanted to admit it -- to admit defeat. They stayed like that for what could have been hours, but in reality it was only minutes, until she pulled away to throw away the bloodied tissues.
She could feel his stare, but refused to meet his gaze in the mirror. She could see Calum’s eyebrows furrowed in sadness and confusion, like they had been for the last few dreary months.
“I love you.” He spoke quietly.
“Me too.” She whispered, feeling her chest tightening each time she refused to acknowledge both his love and the love she had for him.
So, she did the only thing that she could think of to ease the tightening in her chest and the hopelessness in his; she made her way to him and cupped his face gingerly and brought his lips to hers. It was sloppy and laced with desire, everything they both needed at the moment. While they both knew that sex wouldn’t solve anything, they couldn’t help themselves.
Calum’s hands gripped the hem of her t-shirt, or rather his, and pushed it quickly up her body, before he tossed it across the bathroom. He left wet kisses up her stomach and between the valley of her breasts, his hands grabbing at her perfect ass. She hastily worked at his jeans, pulling him up by his belt loops, before she yanked them down his legs.
It didn’t take long before her knees and forearms were pressed against the cool tile floor and he was filling her up like he’d done hundreds of times before. She felt so warm and snug wrapped around him, like he was meant to be inside of her, pounding in and out of her with pure lust. He loved looking at her from this angle, with her ass in the air and back arching in pleasure. Small pants left her mouth as her eyes rolled back with every rough thrust he gave her. The sound of skin snapping against skin filled the room and her sweet whimpers mixed with his breathless moans.
“Harder,” She gasped, her body shaking with pleasure. “Please, Cal, give it to me harder.”
His hips slammed into hers with fervor, sliding in and out of her slick folds with ease. She could feel her orgasm in the pit of her stomach, waiting desperately to be taken to the edge, so she could release around him.
“Come for me, baby.” He whispered into her ear, nipping at her neck. “Come all over my cock.” He continued, suckling on her neck, making sure to leave a mark. He needed to, to remind her that she was still his, despite all the recent flaws of their relationship.
“Fuck, Cal, I’m gonna--” She whimpered, hot pants lingering past her dry lips.
“That’s it.” He groaned, feeling her clench around him, her legs spasming as her orgasm flooding her senses. He fucked her through her high, before he was a garbling mess behind her. Spurts of his hot white come filling her up.
He stayed inside of her, holding his come inside of her in desperation. Desperate, that if he pulled out of her that she would walk out of the door at the very next moment. As much as he tried to drink away his problems, nothing could fix the pain he was going through. Calum felt like there was a hole in his chest, like part of him was missing. He felt empty and sad and angry; and all of this was because of the fucked out girl in front of him, who was still coming down from her high. But she couldn’t have been the only problem, he knew that he played a part as well, but he didn’t know where he went wrong or how he could fix it.
When he finally pulled out of her, his come dripped from her weeping hole and down her thighs. He marveled at the sight, but it didn’t last long, before he was in his head again, thinking about how the only time he felt close to her now was when they were having sex. Inevitably, he knew, that they would end up fighting sooner or later since nothing seemed to be going right for them.
He wondered if they’d reach the point of no return.
***
Tears slipped down her cheeks with ease and stained her tear-ridden hands. She was tired, so tired. Tired of having to deal with this tightening feeling in her chest from her mixed and muddled emotions. She couldn’t keep living like this -- feeling like she was confined and trapped inside of her own mind and body. She paced around their kitchen in nothing but an old t-shirt, her sock clad feet scuffing against the smooth hardwood. There was a glass of whiskey that she’d slowly been drinking, set on the island, it was her second glass -- maybe third -- not that it mattered.
Calum was passed out upstairs, having come home after he helped close out the bar. The clock above the stove brightly shined 3:12am, and she couldn’t quite figure out why she was awake or why she decided that drinking whiskey would fix her. She was turning into him, she thought dryly. Her mascara was making her lashes clump together and was drastically smeared below her eyes like she was going through a life crisis in some generic movie. Tissues were littered across the counter, full of her sorrows; she’d gone through half a box of tissue already and wondered how much more she’d go through before she’d be able to stop pouring her heart out over a glass, or rather bottle, of whiskey.
She scrolled through her phone for the past twenty-five minutes, looking at pictures of the two of them together. Seeing how the both of them looked so happy, so in love. Pictures from years ago flooded her screen, of them at some lousy bar -- his arm hanging lazily over her shoulder, holding her tight. Pictures at the beach, of her holding him in the water with cheesy smiles on their faces. Pictures of them cuddled up next to each other by the fire, photos that their friends had taken of him. There were pictures of them after one of his shows, where you could see the light sheen of sweat layered across his body, where she still held him close even though she secretly hated his sticky post-concert skin.
There were the more intimate photos of them, and silly ones, and romantic ones -- and paparazzi photos that she’d saved to her phone from Twitter. The longer she stared at the photos the tighter her chest felt yet she still couldn’t look away from them. Her eyes continued to fill to the brim with tears that spilled from her eyes and continued to leave streaks down her cheeks. Why couldn’t she look away? She nearly let out a sob, reaching for her tissue box once again. Her phone hit the counter with a soft thud and she threw back the last of her whiskey before refilling it for the third -- maybe fourth -- time.
Sniffle, sigh, sip. That was her new mantra and as she looked at the clock above the stove the numbers shined brightly at her, 3:54am.
“What are you still doing up?” Calum’s groggy voice shook her from her thoughts.
“I couldn’t sleep.” She murmured, downing the last of her whiskey.
“Why don’t you come back to bed.” He spoke softly, matching her tone.
Her back was to him as she leaned over the counter, her glass discarded to her side and large piles of tissues were scattered around her. She wondered if he could feel her sorrow from across the room but he often decided to play the oblivious card whenever he could. Part of her wished that he would sweep her off of her feet and take her upstairs where he’d whisper sweet nothings into her ear until she fell asleep. Another part of her wished that he’d yell at her for being so distant and moody lately or yell at her for not loving him the same way that he loved her.
“Why haven’t you left me yet?” She questioned, turning around to face him, sniffling in the process.
“What do you mean?” His brows furrowed, and although he wanted to act dumb he knew exactly what she was talking about.
“I’ve been a complete and utter asshole to you. I’ve been the shittiest girlfriend imaginable for at least the past month and you’ve stayed by my side like a sad fucking puppy.” She was angry, irrational, sad, and broken -- and she’d take it out on him if she had to.
“Because I know you’re just going through it. You’ll get over it, I know you will.”
“It’s not that simple.” She all but sobbed. “You don’t get it.”
“Then make me understand.” He came to her with soft eyes and open arms. “Help me understand what you’ve been going through so you don’t have to go through it alone.”
“I just don’t want to hurt you.” She fell into his arms, clinging to his shirt, fearing that he might slip through her fingers.
“I’d rather be hurt by knowing what’s going on in that brain of yours than be hurt by you not telling me anything.”
She breathed in his scent with nostalgia, thinking about all the memories they’d made together. She thought about their first date and their first kiss. She thought about the first time they said they loved each other and the last time she actually meant it. She also thought about moving in with him and getting their first dog together. Her memories came flooding back to her in waves, making her clutch onto him tighter. She didn’t want to leave him, but how could she stay with him if she didn’t love him?
“I - I don’t think I love you anymore. Not in the same way I used to, at least.” She cried into his shoulder, mascara staining a shirt he should have thrown away a long time ago. “I want to love you so bad, Calum; I swear! I just, I don’t know what to do.”
“We’ll figure this out, y/n, I promise.”
178 notes · View notes
hermannsthumb · 3 years
Note
nsfw prompt: hermann in lacy boxers. newt is verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry into it
Anonymous said: Follow up to the hermann's lacy briefs ask: newt wears tacky neon briefs and Hermann is Just As Into It
loosely inspired by a conversation I had with @k-sci-janitor the other night 👀 second part isn't AS incorporated, but, I did try. not sfw below cut! (but it's more of an M)
------------
“Well, shit,” Newt says.
As far as lab accidents go, it’s not as bad as it could be. Neither of them are bleeding, for one thing. All their limbs are still intact. And only a very small portion of the lab is on fire, not even anywhere near Hermann’s shit, and Newt manages to deal with it before it spreads by deploying the emergency fire extinguisher in record time. True, their clothing is splattered with a very mild (non-lethal!) amount of kaiju blood, and true, it does sizzle worryingly at first (kaiju blood will apparently eat through cotton like nothing), but Newt’s grown very adept with dealing with these sorts of things. (He kind of has to—they happen every other day.) “In ya go,” he says to a stunned Hermann cheerfully, tugging him along to the decontamination shower by his elbow. “Don’t be shy.”
It takes Hermann a few seconds of pleasant silence to get over his initial shock, and then he begins bitching. “This is the final straw!” he declares, along with stuff like “I can’t take your incompetence much longer!” and “I will be submitting several complaints to the Marshal about this!”, and even smacks Newt’s ankles with his cane a few times. Once he realizes that there’s now a neat little hole burned into the front of his sweater, though, and an even larger one spreading by the shoulder, his complaints fade away into weak sputters, and he doesn’t make as much as a peep when Newt shoves him under the freezing spray.
“Sorry, dude,” Newt says. “How was I supposed to know kaiju blood was combustible?”
Hermann growls at Newt.
As per lab containment protocol, once the shower is turned on, the lock is engaged, and they’ll only be allowed to exit once they’re deemed sufficiently toxin-free by the...toxin-censors, or something. Newt's still not really sure how it all works. That, or, you know, if one of them punches in the override code. But that kind of takes a while, and Newt kind of did need a shower anyway, so he decides to just roll with it and let himself be sanitized. Better safe than sorry. Even though he’s pretty sure that blood was neutralized. Probably. It is a little worrisome that it was dissolving the fabric that fast, since Newt hasn’t had that happen to him before. “Okay, warning,” Newt says, “I’m gonna take off my clothes. You might want to, too. I’m not sure why that had the reaction it did but we probbbbably don’t want to get it on our skin.”
“No,” Hermann says.
“Tough luck, I’m gonna get naked,” Newt says. “It’s happening. You need to, too.”
“Absolutely not,” Hermann says.
“Safety protocol!” Newt shouts.
It’s hard enough to shimmy out of his skinny jeans bone-dry, but in the shower it may as well be impossible, especially since he forgot to take off his boots first. Also, it’s hard to move even a foot without bumping his ass against Hermann, and Hermann growls (like, seriously, what?) again each time he does. Newt finally succeeds in stripping down to just his undershirt and neon-green boxers, and since a quick once-over confirms his skin seems to be totally burn-free, and he can't feel any sort of excruciating pain that would suggest otherwise, he decides he’s fine to just stop there. No reason to needlessly flash Hermann his junk. When Newt turns around, he’s almost surprised to see Hermann in the exact same position as before: clutching the shower railing for dear life, his eyes fixed directly at the ceiling.
Oh—Newt’s dumb. Hermann left his cane outside. A wet shower is already potentially treacherous, but a wet shower without anything but a crappy railing to properly stabilize himself definitely is. “Okay, look, don’t take this the wrong way,” Newt says, “but can I help you undress? I just mean—it’ll probably be hard for you to do it like that.”
He points to Hermann’s iron grip on the railing. Hermann shakes his head.
“I would rather you not,” he says. He looks down at Newt's briefs, goes red in the face, and looks back up.
“Hermann, seriously.” Newt steps forward with a sigh and tugs on Hermann’s blazer. “It’s a safety thing. I promise I won’t look at your old man bloomers or long johns or whatever, you just seriously need to take this all off so I can make sure you’re not hurt.”
“Stop it, Newton,” Hermann grumbles, and then, when Newt gets the top few buttons undone, full-on snaps “Newton!” and pushes Newt away. "Get off of me."
Newt is not dealing with this shit right now. It's one thing for Hermann to be pissed at him when they have a whole lab between them and plenty of space to cool off, but crammed in to a tiny shower together where he's within arm's distance of a grumpy Hermann, who would probably joyfully throttle him at any moment, is just not how Newt wants to spend the next twenty or so minutes. Especially not when all he wanted to do was make sure Hermann wasn't getting literal acidic burns. It's a completely un-cool way to repay a kindness. “Fine!” he says, and throws up his hands. “Whatever! I don’t care. You always have to make everything weird."
Hermann glowers at him, which looks pretty silly, because it's hard to take him seriously with his hair plastered to his head like that. Then, (to Newt's surprise) he reaches a trembling hand up to his top button. “I will do it myself,” he says. “But please look away. I need—privacy.”
"Privacy," Newt echoes with a snort, but obliges. Anything to get Hermann to cooperate is a-okay with him. Once he's got his back to Hermann, he hears Hermann's clothing hitting the ground with a series of small wet splats against the tile. Blazer, sweater, button-down, pants. His belt jingles when it drops. Despite the chill of the water, Newt feels the back of his neck grow warm. Hermann is practically naked behind him. Newt doesn't think he's seen Hermann any nakeder than his pajamas before, once when they dragged themselves to LOCCENT at three in the morning for a kaiju alert system test run and he got an eyeful of Hermann in a dressing gown and slippers. Even that was almost too much for Newt. "Any burns?" he says over his shoulder.
"Er," Hermann says. "I think—"
"Well?"
Hermann is silent. "I'm not quite sure," he finally says.
Newt sighs. "Okay, just let me—"
Newt's scientist mode kicks in over his holy shit Hermann is semi-naked next to me mode (and, okay, maybe his protective over Hermann mode kicks in just a little too), and he turns to Hermann unthinkingly to assess any possible damage. And then freezes in place. Because, well. He's not sure what he expected—maybe Hermann scowling and shivering in some dorky little striped boxers and an undershirt, or maybe that he layers up on undergarments just like he does sweaters.
He is absolutely, one-hundred percent not expecting to see Hermann in a lacy blue pair of underwear and a matching bralette.
And, well. At least the water is cold. Newt doesn't like to think about what sort of physiological response his body might have otherwise.
As it is, Newt just sort of stares at Hermann. And his sexy underwear. Or maybe he gapes. He definitely does when he realizes that it's not just plain sexy underwear—both pieces have little gold stars embroidered across them—and it's simultaneously so cute and so much sexier that his knees begin to wobble, and he's worried he might pass out. Hermann stares back, chin raised almost defiantly, his jaw set hard. Neither of them speak.
Then Newt clears his throat and makes an attempt at it, because he's not sure what else to do if not play it cool. "Um," he squeaks. "Um. I don't—I don't see any burns." Newt does not look anywhere else on Hermann's body, so there's a good chance that's a lie. It's kind of hard to pull his eyes away. "Are you—do you—" He takes a deep breath. "Do you always...?"
"No," Hermann says. He works his jaw back and forth. "Well, go on, then."
"Go on what?" Newt says. Is Hermann sensing the (frankly) pornographic thoughts racing through Newt's head at a mile a minute and giving him permission to act on them? Because Newt doesn't have a problem with that. He 100% does not have a problem with dropping to his knees and begging Hermann to let him put his tongue on him through the lace, or groping Hermann's chest through the top...
"Tease me," Hermann says. In a sexy way? Newt wonders, because he can do that, and he's all set to start grabbing Hermann's ass or something when Hermann clarifies "I know you want to tell me how silly I look."
Oh. That's dumb. "Why would I do that?" Newt says. Before he can help himself, he blurts out, "Dude, you look fucking hot."
"What?" Hermann says.
The shower shuts off, and an alarm beeps twice as the door swings open. The emergency protocol seems to have ended. Neither Newt nor Hermann make a move to leave. "What?" Hermann repeats again, a little quieter. He's looking at Newt like he's grown a second head.
"It looks," Newt says, "um, hot. I like—" He feels himself blushing furiously. He's not sure where to stare—still at Hermann? Or does he force himself to turn his gaze to the floor or over Hermann's shoulder or something? He can see one of Hermann's nipples through the lace top. Oh, my God. "I like how it looks on you." (Insane understatement.)
Hermann falls silent again. "You do?" he says.
"Yeah," Newt says. "Do you—like, every day? Or?"
Hermann shakes his head. He's watching Newt with a carefully guarded expression, like he's still skeptical that Newt is telling the truth and isn't about to just start laughing at him or something. "Not at all," he says. "Er. This was rather unfortunate timing. It's—well, it's a way to feel more confident, I suppose, when I've had a rotten week."
Newt doesn't start laughing, of course. Newt inches closer. He likes the contrast of the dark blue against Hermann's skin, and he wonders how soft it is. He wonders if it would feel soft to him, too, if he touched it, or dragged his palms up and down Hermann's chest. He wonders if Hermann would like that. "I often," Hermann says, and then his voice trails off.
"Huh?" Newt says, somewhere to the vicinity of Hermann's belly button.
Hermann clears his throat. "I often think of you. What you would do, if you saw me this way, and..."
Newt finally snaps. "Can I touch you?" he says.
Hermann nods, the smallest, shyest little smile on his face. "If you'd like," he says.
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talkfastromance4 · 3 years
Text
when i’m dreaming--calum hood oneshot
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yeah so i’m going through something so this is very, very self-indulgent. 
word count: 2.3k
warnings: drinking linked a little with coping, going through a depressive low, best friend!calum
feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!
***
Calum notices something is wrong the minute she steps outside. He was about to take a drink of his white claw, but his eyes went to her nails when she pulled Crystal in for a hug. She typically paints them to match her mood and today they’re opalescent pink, barely noticeable but still there. In plain sight but still visible while she secretly wants to be invisible.
She smiles and cracks jokes with everyone she says hello to then when she steps in front of Calum, he sees the sadness in her eyes. They’ve been best friends for awhile now, they’ve shared secrets, stories of first loves and heartaches, their fears, their wildest dreams. But there was always something she kept hidden, tucked away in a box welded shut.
“Hey bud,” she sighs.
“Hey short stuff,” he grins playfully pulling her in for a hug. Her arms wrap around him and he makes sure to give her an extra tight squeeze.
“I’m not that short,” she grumbles in his chest.
“You’re shorter than me,” he reminds rubbing her shoulder with his thumb. Although her arms are loose around him he can feel the tension in her shoulders that she’s carrying.
“Stop hogging her! I haven’t seen her in weeks!” Ashton exclaims and Calum pulls away.
He knows it was too soon to break the hug but to keep up with her own façade he doubts anyone else sees, he does it.
“Hey, you’re the one who disappeared into the desert for all those weeks,” she jokes rising on her toes to loop her arms around Ashton’s neck.
He gives her a big bear hug that lifts her a few inches off the ground, Calum sees her nails digging into her arm as she squeezes him.
“Had to recenter myself, you should try it sometime,” Ashton teases right back. As if she was shocked, she removes herself from the hug then accepts a bottle of Mike’s from Luke.
“I can take something stronger than this, Hemmings,” she takes a large chug regardless.
“Yeah? Like tequila? I got some limes,” he jerks his thumb behind him towards the drink table.
“I said stronger not deadly. You know I can’t handle tequila,” she scrunches her nose.
Everyone else laughs but alarms are going off in Calum’s head.
“Yeah, the floor of my Tesla doesn’t like tequila either,” Michael chimes in with a tray of shots.
“I told you to pull over,” she shrugs lifting up a shot. She takes a whiff and nods in approval at his selected alcohol choice.
“I was going 75 on the freeway!”
“And that’s why I threw up. Ready?” she lifts her glass.
Calum meets her eyes as over the hands of their friends as Ashton gives an impromptu speech about friendship and long rides. He wasn’t really paying attention because when their eyes locked, he saw the panic, he saw the fear of whatever was going on in her head.
**
The next time he sees her is at the movies. Her eyes are darker along with her nails that are now a hunter’s green; camouflaged but still visible. While they’re waiting in line for snacks, he lifts her hand in his and runs his thumb over the color.
“This is a pretty color, I’ve never seen it on you before,” he says.
“Yeah, um
wanted to try something different,” she shrugs. “Do you want the blue icee?”
“Is that even a question?” he raises a brow, and she laughs.
Once they’re settled in the seats the previews start. Calum opens up the bags of sweet and sour treats while she opens the boxes of milk duds. The large bowl of popcorn (with extra butter) is settled between them, long red straws sticking out of their frozen drinks.
Throughout the whole movie, it’s an action romantic comedy, Calum keeps glancing at her. He watches her fingers disappear in the popcorn bowl, her hunter’s green nails appearing black in the dark theater. Calum’s seen enough movies to know this moment is foreshadowing the darkness she’s slipping into. He’s preparing himself for the fall but he’s not entirely sure she is.
**
Two weeks have gone by and he hasn’t seen her since the movie. Their schedules didn’t align so he decided to surprise her with takeout from her favorite Asian restaurant and chocolate cake from her favorite bakery.
When he opens the door, he hears Friends playing on her tv and he finds her horizontal on the couch. The hood of her sweatshirt is over her head, her arms wrapped around her torso, her black nails clutching the fabric.
Calum braces himself for what he’s walking into, sets the food on her counter and crouches in front of her. He pulls her hoodie back a little so he can see her face a bit better, her eyes are distant and staring off behind him.
“Hey,” he says softly then touches her hand. It’s very cold. “Y/N.”
Upon hearing her name does she finally look at him. Her eyes have filled and spilled with her tears in a matter of seconds. He links her fingers through his.
“Hi,” she mouths, her voice barely registering.
“Is this about
him?” he asks delicately.
About a year ago he chipped away at the welding on the box. He knows it involves a guy. He knows it’s about bad timing. He knows it’s about deep emotions.
She nods and the tears erupt more. She buries her face in her hands then adds another layer by hiding in the pillow.
“Nope, nope, hey,” he tugs on her arms. She’s pliant and allows him to drag her in a sitting position. He takes the place where her head was then brings her onto his lap. “I’ve got you, I’m right here.” He murmurs and pulls her hoodie down so he can rub at her hair.
She sobs loudly into his neck. Calum holds her as tight as he can, murmuring comforting words in her ear. Her sobs would subside, but he wouldn’t let go until she did. She’s very good at keeping her emotions at bay and even better at keeping people further away from her harbor. She doesn’t ask for help often, she doesn’t open up too much and when she does it’s always the footnoted version.
Three episodes of Friends later, her hold lessens, she gives a big sniff and peels herself away from Calum. He uses the sleeves of his shirt to wipe at her tears and nose.
“Have you eaten?” he asks, and she shakes her head. “I brought food. I’ll heat it up for you.”
She nods and falls back onto the couch. He rubs her knee then heads into the kitchen. When the food is prepared on plates he brings it to her and she takes it, scarfing down the first few bites heartily.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she finally speaks when her plate is empty.
“I know,” he nods looking over at her until she meets his brown eyes. “It’s okay.”
Calum ends up staying the night, his mind reeling from what the history is with this mystery guy. His thoughts get away from him as he stares at the ceiling above the couch. Was he some celebrity that kept her under the radar and broke her heart repeatedly? A Prince from some far-off country that got her hopes up and crushed them again and again?
He’s tossing and turning until he hears the shower turn on. Sad songs play over and over on her speakers, her voice singing along with the yearning words. Ghostin’ by Ariana and When the Party’s Over by Billie replay one after another.
She’s really hurting.
Calum bounds off the couch and opens the bathroom door.
“Y/N?” he makes sure his voice is a little louder than the music.
A sniff. “Yeah?” her voice is thick.
“Just want you to know I’m here,” he shuts the door and sits next to the shower.
His heart aches when he hears her crying again, the vocals echo and bounce off the tiles. Her sadness fills the room just as it’s filled in the hidden box of the guy who’s making her feel this way.
Four more repeats go by and the shower is finally shut off. Calum scrambles off the floor, sees her tug the towel from the door of the shower. Her shadow figure wraps it around herself and she opens the door. Her skin is red from the hot water, as are her eyes and cheeks from crying more tears. He grabs another towel and helps dry her hair while she stands there avoiding her reflection in the mirror.
“It’s been five years, why do I still feel like this?” she asks quietly.
“It hurts the most when it meant something.”
He left the bathroom after he dried and brushed her hair then waited for her in her bedroom. There’s pictures on her desk from high school. Her and some guy at prom. Her and the same guy a little bit older posing in a selfie on a couch, drunken smiles on their faces. Her and the same guy a little older again posed outside.
This must be from that box. She’s cracked it open and Calum is staring at some of the pieces that have broken her wholly.
“His name’s Henry,” she explains suddenly behind him.
Calum turns to her voice. The drastic change from the happy girl in the photos to the sad girl before him startles him. He remains silent to let her speak or to go into silence again. She moves onto her bed, sitting in the center and tucks her legs against her chest.
“We never dated. But we were always
together. Together in the physical sense for four years,” she continues. Calum joins her cautiously on the bed and listens. “Back and forth always. After every relationship we fell back into each other. He’s the longest relationship I’ve had, and it wasn’t even a real one.
“We cared about each other, and
I think he loved me. Time wasn’t on our side. It was too much or too little, I don’t know,” she shrugs. “Just when I think I’ve let go; I dream of him. Then he’s on my mind for days. And now this time
” she shakes her head and Calum pulls her against him. “I went on socials and I found out that he um
he’s a dad now. And I feel so stupid because that could have been me if we kept what we had. I feel stupid because a part of me wanted it to be me.”
Calum doesn’t fully understand the ins and outs of their relationship, but four years of physical affection and a rock to lean on, that’s a lot of history. He also doesn’t fully understand how this guy didn’t make it official with Y/N. She’s the perfect best friend with a big heart.
Calum wishes he knew her in school because he would have been the one to take her to prom. He would have been the one take her to movies and dinners and surprise her with flowers. He would have made it official rather than keep her guessing.
“I’m really going through it and I don’t know how to get out,” she whispers sadly.
“I think
” Calum heaves a big sigh and kisses her wet head. “I think you’re just cracking the surface of breaking free. I can tell he meant a lot to you and you meant a lot to him. Even if he never said it, you’ll always be a part of him just like he’ll be a part of you. Someone that important won’t just poof away.”
“But I want him to, it hurts.”
“I know it does, sweetheart. I’ll help you in any way I can, okay?”
“You’re so understanding and you’re so good, but I don’t want to cry over another guy when you’re here.”
“That’s what best friends do.”
She turns her head and gazes up at him. He notices the storm in her eyes aren’t as dark, her lips are chapped from the cracking of memories she spilled out.
“Calum, you’re more than my best friend.”
He hears a deeper truth in her statement, and it causes his breathing to quicken. The subtle yet very noticeable flick of her eyes to his lips causes him to react. He gives her a quick peck, but that smallest touch sent an enormous shock through his system.
They settle against her pillows, the kiss wasn’t awkward, but it filled them both with questions. Questions that will be answered at a different time because right now he wants to hear this most vulnerable part of her life. She takes his hand in hers first and plays with his fingers while she talks.
He makes comments and asks questions to try and understand a bit more. Calum kisses her head when her voice starts to shake. Hours go by and the sky starts to lighten, birds are awakening.
“Hey,” she says right as he’s about to fall asleep. They talked all night, but she quieted down about twenty minutes.
“Hm?” he opens his eyes.
“We match.”
He looks down at their intertwined fingers when she taps on his nail. His polish is chipped away from chewing on a hangnail then smiles at the black color. He lifts their hands and kisses their knuckles.
“I feel what you feel.”
“What exactly do you feel?”
“I felt you slipping. I can sense your emotions when no one else can, and I guess I painted my nails subconsciously because I didn’t want you to be alone in the dark,” he explains. She’s quiet for a moment and he thinks she really fell asleep this time.
“Thank you. I don’t think I’ll be this bad again.”
“If you are, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here.”
“Cal?”
“Hmm?” he sighs. It’s getting harder to keep his eyes open, but he doesn’t want her to stop talking. He doesn’t want her out of his arms.
“When I’m dreaming tonight it will be of you.”
**
Taglist: @calpalirwin @myloverboyash @loveroflrh @cxddlyash @princesslrh @spicylftv @notinthesameguey @itjustkindahappenedreally @calumance @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sarcastically-defensive17 @another-lonely-heart @devilatmydoor @thatscooibaby @suchalonelysunflower @dead-and-golden @mymindwide @blackbutterfliescal @redrattlers @karajaynetoday @quasighost @i-like-5sos @creampiecashton @calpops​ @littledrummeraussie​ @sexgodashton​ @f-mu​
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cno-inbminor · 4 years
Text
a/n: drabble dump for our boy kuroo -- i love him loads and think about him endlessly. i also apologize beforehand for the awkward ending bc i’m terrible at ending things. hope you all enjoy! gonna go knock back a melatonin and sleep my wooziness away
w/c: ~2.4k; some angst, fluff, mentions of alcohol
you’re avoiding tetsurou, and he’s keen on figuring out why. college!au, friends to lovers.
“you’re not as slick as you think, y’know.”
instantly, a shiver creeps up your spine, electrifying you in quick, tiny bursts. those eight, nine words were more than enough to let you know who was standing behind you, peering over your shoulder in an effort to catch your gaze. his voice made your heart clench and lungs fight for oxygen – you begin to curse the high, intellectual level of tetsurou’s observational skills. you just wanted to make it another day without seeing his face outside of class, opting more for longer walks and just looking back to see the back of his stylishly mussed hair in the far distance. it frustrates you how much you’ve used the word ‘infuriating’ when it comes to him, but there’s no other better word you can think of without having to consult the thesaurus.
you have a few seconds to dart your eyes around, desperately searching for a way to escape. your productivity typically thrives within the library, but he’s always there, so with lots of pleading and promises of baked goods and decent coffee, you were able to borrow a close friend’s ID, a graduate student, and access the graduate resource room in a less traveled hallway. and in the expanse of that area, you’ve tucked yourself away into the back corner behind some shelves where almost no one visits. but it leaves you cornered and vulnerable – no matter which direction, in combination with his long legs, tetsurou would catch up to you in a heartbeat. you thought you had finally found a way to permanently escape his grasp, but apparently not.
much like you, he’s not supposed to be able to access this area. after all, you’re both senior undergrads so –
“how did you get in here?” you quietly hiss. you’re pretty sure you’d be booted out if you made any sound above 15 decibels, and you’re not about to let tetsurou ruin this haven for you.
there’s a rustle of clothing, a hand that rests on the back of your seat, and the hairs on the nape of your neck spike, before a delicate whisper informs, “you’re not the only one with grad student friends, love.”
if you weren’t so focused on keeping yourself rigid, body absolutely understanding of the effect that this man has on you, you definitely would’ve shivered from the proximity. but the gentleness in his tone sends you back to three weeks ago – you’re no longer under a fluorescent light tucked between cream-colored walls, but rather basked in a somewhat garish hue of crimson. your veins were tinged with alcohol, the substance leaving you feeling like you were on clouds, a silly smile breaking across your face uncontrollably. other bodies surrounded you but the only one you were focused on was the one in front of you, following your swaying movements to the beat of the music coming through someone’s speakers. even in the warmth of the house, tetsurou’s hands on your waist seared your skin, branding the feeling on you for eternity. his eyes twinkled with apparent affection, unbridled and screaming at you for you to understand the line he wanted to so desperately cross, that the alcohol pushed it behind his efforts to deny himself the one thing he’s been searching for in all these years.  
“i’m a little drunk, but fuck, you have no idea how bad i wanna kiss you,” he had murmured just loud enough into your ear, then ghosting his lips over the shell of it. everything around you dissolved into a blur as you could only focus on his breaths and the tightening of his grasp on you. his confession wasn’t completely unwarranted – not at all.
tetsurou and you had met in the quantitative analysis lab freshman year, having been assigned as partners for the semester just by how the ta’s drew the seating chart. he was a friendly, kind soul – had saved your ass multiple times from overshooting your titrations, prevented multiple beakers and graduated cylinders from falling over, always down to compare numbers to help ensure that neither of you were fucking up too hard.
coincidentally, the two of you were registered to the same ochem lab the next year and immediately gravitated towards each other, grateful to find some familiarity in all the anxiety. he witnessed your breakdown mid-lab, did his best to comfort you and salvage your sample so there was enough for recrystallization because you somehow got landed with a shitty, leaking separatory funnel, and stayed back with you when you had fallen behind in the cleanup process. from then on, it was a weekly habit to study together and work on your lab journals and reports together, not taking long to become close friends.
tetsurou did his best to keep his growing feelings at bay, knowing that you had explicitly mentioned swearing off relationships as you tried to figure out your future first. he wasn’t oblivious enough to think that you didn’t feel anything for him whatsoever – you were stubborn and tenacious at best. the house party at miya atsumu’s was simply a suggestion for the both of you to relax after a brutal midterm in your inorganic chemistry course, to let loose and treat yourself. he really hadn’t meant to say what he said, but just looked so good, so lovely and beautiful and enthralling, and you were looking at him like he hung the stars and moon in the sky – he knows he’s sent that same look to you multiple times when you weren’t looking, completely sober and unfazed.
he couldn’t stop himself from leaning close into you that night and you hadn’t stopped in – he knows he should’ve resisted, but feeling your soft lips against his was easily one of the top ten highlights of his college career, and his love for you only surged beyond his hold, overwhelming him to the point where all he could think about was nothing but holding your cheek in the palm of his hand so he could get a better angle and let himself indulge just this once.
that’s all it was – kissing and kissing in the middle of the makeshift dancefloor until there was no more oxygen left in either of your lungs. like a decent human being, he dropped you off at your apartment and bid you goodnight, hoping that you wouldn’t forget all the events that had transpired. and maybe, just maybe, he wished that you would let it happen again, that you could make him the exception in your plans.
evidently, you did remember it, because suddenly your responses to his texts were delayed and dry. you were picking up extra shifts, showing up to class at the very last minute, and leaving as soon as the professor dismissed you, allowing practically no room for him to make small talk. and while he would usually pass you in the halls of the chem building at some point, you were always too far from him and scurrying away in a different direction. tetsurou did his best to give you your space, but the less he saw of you, the more nervous and frustrated he grew. there was a wrench thrown into his daily routine, and your presence had always managed to bring some peace to him. so when he realized that you had truly abandoned your usual study spot in the library a week and a half later, he set himself on a mission to find out exactly where you were hiding.
it honestly had been sheer luck that he saw your figure ducking around into a hallway he’s never bothered to go down, and by the time he caught up, the door to the graduate resource room had just closed on your and there was no way he could get in without some help. luckily, his mentor who had stayed at the university for their phd was pretty nonchalant about letting him borrow it for a few days, preferring to study at home or in a coffee shop off-campus themselves.
he knew that since you were hiding, you were probably going to be in the most inconspicuous spot possible. so while there was some time dedicated to navigating the new maze of an area, he immediately felt a sense of relief when he saw your back hunched over your notes, hair tied up into a messy bun, and your laptop open with a spotify playlist.
after you’re done reminiscing, you begin to pack your stuff up, opting to just nor respond to tetsurou and ignoring the pleasant sensation that his term of endearment for you brought. he pulls back and stands straight to give you some room, but the tapping of his foot against the tile floor speaks to his blooming agitation at your silence. you’re still wordless as you weave between the shelves to the exit, knowing that the man plaguing your dreams is not far behind. the game of ‘follow the leader’ (or is it ‘cat and mouse’?) continues until you both have exited the main door, and right before you can walk down the granite steps, tetsurou seizes the opportunity to run ahead of you and stand in your way.
“tetsu, please,” you sigh, avoiding his piercing stare by fiddling with the sleeves of your jacket. “is there something you need?”
“you can’t play coy with me,” he chastises, bending down slightly in hopes that you’ll finally look at him. “you know why i’m here.”
it’s a bad habit of yours to nibble on the inside of your lips when you’re searching for the right things to say. tetsurou only picked up on it just last year – the action itself is very subtle to the outside viewer, and he hadn’t been paying close enough attention back then. “don’t bullshit me right now.”
“do we have to do this now?” you whine a bit.
“yes, or else i’m never gonna get you to talk to me. come on, you don’t do this, love.”
“what do you mean?”
“you’re running away. that’s pretty cowardly, don’t you think? you’ve had 3 weeks—”
you start to walk forward and around his tall, lanky figure. “i’m not humoring you with this—”
“with what—”
“—you’re doing that provoking thing, you’re trying to get me to think that i’m wrong in avoiding you—”
“so you have been avoiding me—”
“i said not now!” you protest in a raised voice, path once again blocked. tears of frustration are beginning to build in the corners of your eyes, and you’re cursing yourself for feeling so weak in this moment. part of you wants nothing more than to run into his arms.
it’s dead quiet for a few seconds – the ambient noise of the wind and the occasional passing car this late at night fail to make themselves known over the pounding of blood in your ears. only tetsurou’s first knuckle underneath your chin to raise you up grounds you, and you can no longer avoid his gaze. small crests of guilt wash over you as you recognize the uncharacteristic brokenness in his eyes – the last three weeks must’ve been much harder on him than you thought.
“just hear me out for a few minutes, okay? you can make your decision then.”
he takes your nod as a signal to continue, but also softening a bit at how nervous you look.
“i’m in love with you,” he softly confesses, a smile of defeat gracing his complexion. “and i have been for a while. i don’t think i’m bullshitting when i say i think you feel something for me, too, but i knew it wasn’t in your plans. didn’t wanna push or force you into making a decision when you weren’t ready. so i held back – but i couldn’t help it at the party, and
i’m sorry, love. i really am.”
tetsurou doesn’t miss the flash of hurt that crosses your eyes. “so does that mean you regret it?” you bite out, nails clenching and digging into the fabric of your jacket sleeves. he shakes his head.
“i don’t regret kissing you at all – it’s all i’ve wanted to do for the last two and a half years. but i’m just sorry that i did it without your explicit, sober permission. i went against your wishes in a time of vulnerability, and that’s pretty shitty of me – i’m not gonna excuse myself either just because i was a little drunk, so i hope you’re able to forgive me.”
he watches you sniffle and fight the grin that’s trying to creep across your face. “someone had their shot of respect women juice this morning, didn’t they?” you chokingly tease.
“five shots directly injected into my veins, every morning,” he jokes back, thumb sweeping over to catch your falling tears. “but i mean it though – i’m really sorry.”
“you’re forgiven, and i appreciate that more than you know. but if i’m being honest
it was something i’ve wanted to do for a while, too. i was just really scared because it was so unexpected and i wasn’t sure if i was ready for our relationship to change, or like if i would be emotionally available enough for you, y’know?” you blubber, hand reaching up to rest against his on your cheek.
“hey—”
“i really want this to work out.” tetsurou can hear your voice shake, and he’s sure you’re almost trembling. “you’re one of my best friends – i can’t lose you, tetsu. and what about grad school? what if we end up too far away from each other and video calls aren’t enough? what if you get tired of me or—”
“i know you hate it when i interrupt, but honestly (y/n), you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. i’m gonna do everything i can to make this work, too, mmk?”
“okay,” you whisper. “okay.”
his thumb gently sweeps back and forth against your cheek for a little bit before speaking up again. “not to ruin the moment, but do i have permission to kiss you now?” his eyes shine despite the midnight sky, and you can’t help the small chuckle that leaves your chest.
tetsurou swears up and down that your kiss in response is much, much sweeter than the one at the party, and he can’t wait to see what the future holds for you two.
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