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thebeautysurrounds · 1 month

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I’ve been thinking a lot about how people’s reactions to certain queer shows and something I think we need to examine how we treat more ‘dark’ and ‘emotional’ shows versus more ‘happy’ shows in this case I’m gonna be talking about the “debate” between Young Royals and Heartstopper.

Firstly these shows exist in two different lanes, and draw in two different audiences and potential age ranges, in my opinion, Young Royals is for older teenagers (think juniors or seniors or someone who is about to graduate high school and is going into college) while Heartstopper is geared towards those who are just starting high school or in the middle of it and is in that transitional period of their lives. Obviously, if you are not in these age ranges you can still consume and enjoy these shows, But I want to discuss how people act like they both can’t exist and you can’t like both or both shows existing for a reason. I’ve never really been a fan of punching down or belittling queer media (unless it’s harmful) Queer media in all forms is still lacking (especially those mediums centering WLW relationships). That being said the debate of which show is better is honestly so tired.

For people who say Young Royals is so much better (don’t get me wrong it is an amazing show and by all means like whatever you want) but liking it more because it’s “darker and more realistic” compared to Heartstopper which is "much happier" and "unrealistic," To me is so disingenuous because firstly so what? campy shows that feature queer characters deserve to be unrealistic, What's wrong with being unrealistic? Queer media has been subject to the Burry Your Gays narrative for decades or extremely unhealthy tropes and storylines so what's so wrong with having storylines and shows that are unrealistic or extremely happy? (even though the themes in Heartstopper are realistic).

Have you thought about how that may be an intentional choice? Now bare with me here this may be my over-analytic brain at work but Heartstopper has more or less some of the same themes as Young Royals just shot in a very vibrant and colorful manner to showcase how happy and colorful young love is BUT if you actually have watched the show or read the graphic novels you would know the show and graphic novels cover some heavy themes.

SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT……

I want you to keep the song Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People in mind throughout this...I have a point I promise. Heartstopper is shot in a very poppy colorful way and in my opinion, symbolizes how when you’re young and in love everything feels warm, colorful, and vibrant. While Young Royals doesn't utilize this cinematic style they do use some form of vibrancy to convey tone and emotion. In Young Royals many of the scenes featuring Simon and Willhem's 'good moments' feature the sun especially shining on Simon when Willie is looking at him or whenever they are just in each other's company, this is especially prominent in the last scenes of the last two episodes of season 3.

So while people's criticisms of Heartstopper can be warranted (not saying you can't dislike the show) the comments that it's just so bubbly and bright just aren't true. The last season of Heartstopper saw multiple characters go through traumatic situations and it has been building up that way from the very first scenes in the first season of the show (but for the sake of time I'm only going to discuss both main characters in the two shows) Charlie not only is still struggling with being outed but is also battling with an eating disorder, this is foreshadowed throughout the first two seasons leading up to its inevitable blatant reveal when he is at dinner with Nick and his family where Nick starts to piece together why he is never hungry, passed out on the Paris trip and never finishes his food, which leads his to eventually research the signs of an ED. Nick is also still figuring himself out when it comes to his Bisexuality, while also dealing with the feelings of, feeling abandoned by his father, and having to reckon with the fact his brother is not supportive and dismissive of his sexuality and relationship.

Now before I said keep Pumped Up Kicks in mind that's because while this song has an upbeat, catchy tempo the song actually has a really dark undertone and meaning. So while Heartstopper is shot in a very vibrant colorway most of its characters and content of the show deal with dark themes and it's not all just a happy love story, and if the script for the next season follows the graphic novel closely, then we will see the characters go through even more challenges which also falls inline with the "darker" more emotionally message of the show. So to end this so it doesn't become a dissertation, both shows more or less have the same themes they just exist in two different lanes, I don't know why exactly people are fighting for one to be more valid than the other. When both can exist and be impactful to both or each audience, more queer shows need to exist where the characters are just happy and in love and I need y'all to unpack why you view more doom and gloom (for a lack of a better word) queer shows or movies are more valid than ones where the characters are just happy and have relatively in some aspects great experience when it comes to young love and figuring out one's identity. Sepreatlty why do you want these characters to suffer to find love? Why do characters have to go through something traumatic for their identity to be more valid and for you to relate and want to root for it more versus the latter?

Anyway, this was longer than I intended it to be but I just had to get my thoughts out there. TL;DR: Heartstopper and Young Royals are two great shows and if you think one is better than the other cause it has darker themes you are missing the point or probably objectively missed the dark undertones of the show, and one isn't more valuable than the other.

#young royals #heartstopper #queer shows #lgbtqia #queer media #rant #anaylsis #netflix #nick nelson #charlie spring #nick and charlie #simon eriksson #willhem #prince wilhelm #simon and wilhelm

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squideo · 10 months

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Marvel's Secret Invasion used AI-generated images to create its opening credits, which is why we're revisiting this blog from June 8th. Because, if a human didn't create the credits, does that mean Marvel can't claim copyright? Read the blog to learn about AI and the interesting legal questions it's raising 🤖

Artificial intelligence (AI) is the hot topic in every industry, as experts and commentators speculate how this rapidly evolving technology will change the future of work; and humanity.

However the water cooler exists at your job – maybe you’re playing it retro and still have an actual water cooler in your physical office – people are gathering around it to ask if you’ve tried ChatGPT yet, if AI will result in a shorter work week, or if the robots are coming for us Skynet-style. While there is nothing to suggest artificial intelligence has become sentient, the line between reality and science fiction is blurring.

Where does this leave people working in industries like video production? Will AI replace us, or will it become another tool in our utility belts?

This Just In

News headlines surrounding artificial intelligence are constantly fluctuating, and the biggest topics of conversation can be forgotten only a week later once something new eclipses it.

AI is progressing so rapidly, it’s hard for experts to say with any degree of certainty where it may take us, but that doesn’t stop everyone having an opinion on what will happen next. At the time of writing in June 2023, here is an overview of the leading artificial intelligence headlines:

Sam Altman, creator of ChatGPT, says AI poses an “existential risk” to humanity.

The United Kingdom will host the first global summit on artificial intelligence safety (date TBA).

The Beatles are back, as AI creates brand new songs from the Fab Four.

The European Union (EU) asks social media companies, including Google and Facebook, to label AI-generated content.

The latest AI trend is to expand famous paintings, creating more content but no art.

Read this article again in July and half of this will be old news. Or a reunited Beatles, half of whom are back from the grave, will become an acceptable reality. Really, it’s anyone’s guess.

Are You Sure That’s Legal?

Artificial intelligence is not entirely new in video production. AI has been used already for image manipulation and content editing. As the power of AI grows, however, it comes with the potential to create imagery from vast datasets. Seemingly making something from scratch, like a human would.

In May 2023, Adobe added an AI-powered image generator called Adobe Firefly to Photoshop. The software is promised to turn your wildest dream into an amazing image in seconds, but how is this image made? Rival software, such as Stability AI, have already faced legal action over the creation of their images. Groups like Getty Images claim Stability’s artificial intelligence generates content using existing images, or combining multiple images from the dataset its creator uploaded, which infringes their copyright.

Individuals using AI for personal use have a lot more legal freedoms than companies using AI to create images and videos for commercial use. Companies have to consider the copyright of the matter, and this is a huge ongoing debate that could take years to resolve.

As noted in the Berne Convention, an international treaty on copyright, copyright protection operates “for the benefit of the author and [their] successors in title” – the assumption being that there is a human creator. This has been affirmed in the US in the now famous “monkey selfie” dispute, during which both the Copyright Office and the courts found that animals could not hold copyright. The absence of a human creator in respect of AI-generated content therefore presents obstacles to the subsistence of copyright in the output that is generated. INFORMATION AGE, JUNE 2023

If a company uses AI to create a video, do they have ownership of it? Could the company face legal penalties if the AI is found to have used existing images and the artists’ sue, or is that a risk for the AI creator? Will users want to watch AI created content when there is such a big debate surrounding art and humanity; remember, the EU is campaigning for social media channels to put a label on AI content.

The simple answer is, we don’t know.

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That’s a lot of potential legal issues and, because AI is evolving rapidly, there’s no clear answers. The earliest cases of these disputes are still ongoing, which means there’s little legal precedent to inform companies who are assessing how AI can help them with content creation.

Working with a video production company removes the uncertainty. Video production companies, like Squideo, give clients full ownership of the video once it’s created – meaning the video can be shared as widely as the company wants and, if it is replicated, the company can claim copyright.

Yet this doesn’t mean artificial intelligence has no place in the video production process whatsoever.

Judgement Day?

In 2023, 91% of businesses plan to use video as a marketing tool and 96% rate video as an ‘important part’ of their marketing strategy. There is growing demand for short videos, perfect for sharing to reels and stories on social media. Implementing AI in the video production process can speed things up and lower the cost.

ChatGPT can accelerate the scriptwriting process by providing a foundation to build upon – though it’s best not to rely entirely on AI writing generators just yet, as it’s still making a variety of mistakes. Voiceovers can be supplied by AI instead of recording artists too, as the technology has made artificial voices significantly more life-like. Although they’re less directable than voiceover artist, and not necessarily cheaper.

Video production companies like Squideo create your animated video from scratch, ensuring complete one-of-a-kindness. That doesn’t mean we can’t benefit from AI tools – but we’re not about to become obsolete either.

Ready to create a unique video of your own? Watch the video below to get a better understanding of how Squideo can help promote your business, then get in touch with us to find out more!

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redemptioninterlude · 2 years

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a massive ick of mine is seeing you write rue, a nonbinary lesbian and shipping her with men... gross.

feedback in the inbox ( always accepting! ) + anon

hello anon! happy to take this feedback. if you've read the same article seen here, this was something that was never actually confirmed by the cast or by sam. it was something said as a ‘feels like’ by the costume designer.

the cast themselves have stated that they’re unlabelled and prefer it that way. they’re young and figuring it out! that’s high school. rue has limited experience with all genders, and has never expressed in the show anything in regards to being one sexuality, or being nonbinary. again, this was a comment made by the costume designer in regards to rue’s style, rather than about the character herself ( which i use here because in the show, she goes by she/her - not that nb people don’t utilize these pronouns, but just wanted to be clear in regards to the canon ).

i see this being debated a lot online, but from the canon, and even in interviews with hunter, the cast avoids answering anything directly around it. i ship rules pretty actively and write it here. i also ship ruelliot actively and write that here! same with rexi. i’ve done ruaddy, ruassie, and more. i figure, rue’s a teenager. she’s figuring herself out, she’s seeing what works for her, and she’s always, at least to me, been more attracted to people and their energy, than any gender in particular. is she a lesbian? pan? bi? i’m waiting to see what more the series gives us, because i’d also love to know.

sexuality and gender expression is complicated. we see that with rue, jules, elliot, nate... as kat says once, sexuality is a spectrum. i really try to embody that in my writing until we see what comes out from canon.

now for your massive ick, all i can say is ♡ UNFOLLOWING IS FREE ♡

#anonymous #❝ ooc ❞ ┆ mun answers ┆ if no one's putting numbers on the board !

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eltoncurtis · 27 days

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From Application to Graduation: Insider Tips for Thriving in GTA Colleges

The trend of studying in colleges in GTA is getting more and more traction among international students. The region has witnessed a sharp increase in number of students in the past few years. This increase in the number of foreign students studying in Canada reflects the country's growing reputation as a top destination for international education. There are multiple reasons why students choosing GTA specifically and they are debatable. This blog will be helpful for students planning to study in colleges in GTA or already studying here.

Important Tips for International Students in GTA

What do you think the most dominant reason behind increasing number of students. It must not be solely because of quality of education or just because its among top countries for education. There is more to it. It might be because of ease of acquiring permanent residency (PR). You can talk about this in comment section. Here are some important tips for students applying for colleges in GTA.

Navigating Canadian Culture

Traveling to the Greater Toronto Area (GTA) as an incomer, let me remind you several significant tips to help you with the transition and good academic accomplishment. Among the most valuable pieces of information is the fact that you must really know the Canadian environment and norms. First of all, punctuality is considered a must, secondly, personal space is also to be respected and lastly, this new environment allows one to embrace new experiences. Through experience, you will not only feel like home, but also build perceptive relationships with people you live among.

Utilizing Campus Support Services

Along with the above tips, checking the student service opportunities on the campus is also recommended for international students in the GTA. Most universities and colleges in GTA provide the needed support which includes academic assistance via tutoring, dealing with psychological problems through counseling, and the help of international student advisors. Lag no longer, use the support available to you whenever you need it as this is a powerful tool not only for your academic success but your wellbeing too.

Effective Time Management

A person with being in Toronto, they should care about how to keep the things in order and make better use of their time. Attempting the situation of classwork, social events and ones' person life in the new environment will be a very difficult task. Make sure your study pace is sufficient for keeping up with your coursework, develop working schedule, face realistic deadline and use digital timeline management tools.

Exploring the GTA

Last of all, don't forget to fact-find the city to acquaint with its glory. The GTA continuous to be one of the most ethnically diverse and entertaining communities with an abundance of cultural attractions, restaurants, and recreational activities. Make use of your time at college by trekking to different neighborhoods, participating in festivals, and tasting the new foods. More than expanding your experience during your time here in colleges GTA, you will also probably gain a lot of knowledge and perception.

And if you have any questions regarding college admission application, study permit, extensions, or PGWP, you can always reach out to experts like My Education Experience.

#Colleges in GTA #Change College #Education #Education Consultants #Canada

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broadthinkerhints · 1 year

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Kanye West Interview - What He Taught Me About Striking Out In Life!

There's been a lot of Kanye West-related news items in these past few weeks. From the "White Lives Matter" t-shirt and his comments about Jews as well as his upcoming fashion show guerrilla, there's been a lot to keep us all up all night. We asked those who have followed the rapper's career closely throughout the last few years about what they've learned from him. We're eager to share the results with you. Antisemitism It doesn't matter if you believe it is antisemitism or otherwise, Kanye West's recent interview with Lex Fridman has been praised by antisemite groups and Holocaust disbelievers. Fridman is born in Russia, is a Jewish host who often interviews controversial journalists, was caught recording an interview with West in October. Fridman said it was not possible to respond to West's recent comments about antisemitism in making statements that suggested Jewish control over the media. Fridman claimed that it is incorrect to assert that Jews have control over media since there are numerous slanders and defamations that can be used to discredit Jews and their beliefs. Nation of Islam, which claims to be a long-standing advocate of antisemitism, has in the past involved in the promotion of it. Ye was cited by Ishmael his student minister. The Nation of Islam is the largest Black nationalist group in the United States. Antisemitic views were a large aspect of previous speech and actions of other Black performers and activists. Guerrilla fashion show Kanye West hosted a secret fashion show at Paris Fashion Week earlier this month. Although it's not known whether West was able pull off the secret fashion event, he did attend with his children Saint West and Chicago West and Psalm West. The show was created by Riccardo Tisci, and featured a few high-end designers such as Balenciaga and Gucci. Ye was also there and was seen in the black military-inspired coat he was talking about for weeks. The hoodie and bedazzled flip-flops that Kanye dressed in weren't cut. Kanye West has been involved in many scandals since 2016 but his participation during Paris Fashion Week was the most shocking. He was not only present in the fashion show, but was arrested for an unrelated battery that was committed in Beverly Hills. Now he is under investigation for a more serious crime. Tee with the "White Lives Matter!" message

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Kanye West wore a shirt that said "White Lives Matter" at Paris Fashion Week. The phrase is frequently used by white supremacist groups for instance, the Aryan Renaissance Society and the Ku Klux Klan, to spread a white supremacist message. Kanye West spoke on Fox News about why he decided to write the phrase on his shirt. According to West the quote comes from a connection with God. West also claimed that he found it hilarious. However, his father texted him about it and expressed his concern over the future of his daughter. According to the Anti-Defamation League, this phrase is a white supremacist slogan. It's also claimed to be a hate phrase by the Southern Poverty Law Center. Kanye West was there for the Yeezy fashion show in Paris the models strolled down the runway wearing shirts with the phrase "White Lives Matter". Kanye claimed that the slogan was written on the shirt because people care about it in the event. Kanye West utilized social media to address the controversy that followed the show. He took aim at all the people who had been criticizing his comments in his post. West also stated that he'd made a donation of $2 million to three families of people who were killed during the Black Lives Matter protests. Political change Despite his worldwide fame and ability to make headlines across the world, Kanye West's political evolution has been a subject of debate. Kanye West has made controversial statements about race, slavery as well as President Donald Trump. Kanye was also accused of fraud in the voting process. Kanye was listed on the list of voters in 12 states, but was unable to get traction in the face of grave issues were plaguing the nation. A petition signed by Mickey Mouse was submitted by the Kanye West campaign. Kanye has also admitted to being ignorant of taxes and foreign policy. He has also made controversial remarks on slavery and abortion. He has also flirted with fringe conspiracy theories and racist ideas. One of the most controversial statements Kanye has made was in 2005, during a telethon. Kanye claimed that President George Bush does not care about black people. Bush later called this statement the worst moment during his presidency. Kanye attempted to refute the statement by saying that Bush was referring to Black people and not Jews. Watch the video

#Kanye West #Interview #Life

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noweyesee · 3 years

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Let’s talk about •••

••• Spirit Work

Pt.2/2

You’ve seen it around and decided you want to try your hand at Spirit Work or you have had encounters and would like to take back some control by deepening your knowledge of this practice. So:

I. Where to begin

• First Step

Ask yourself and define this: What do you want to work with? What do you classify as spirits?

Ancestors and Known Deceased

— These tend to be the easiest to communicate and connect with, due to your shared experiences and energies. In this type of Spirit work most people tend to utilize divinatory instruments or the astral.

Unknown Human Deceased

— Just like the first example, these also are somewhat accessible, since their plane tends to be parallel with ours. Normally it requires more steps of protection and precaution, since you don’t know the spirit's temperament nor it’s signature.

Nature Spirits: elements, plants, animals

— These are at the same time the most common and the most difficult type - common because people tend to, unknowingly, communicate with them all the time and due to that their presence is quite naturalized, making it tricky for some to actively seek them out. Each of the subcategories also have their own language and means of communication.

*I’ve added elements, because honestly, ask any nature or green witch out there, elements are also spirits and have their own language, messages and signature.

Nature Spirits a.k.a Entities: angels, fay, demon

— Ah, yes. The coveted and honored. These are easy to connect to, but also are easy to mess up with. Each subcategory of entity has its own subcategory, and in those the methods of communication and connecting vary a lot, but are heavily influenced by two aspects: Respect and also Trying not to mess up and unknowingly sell yourself.

Divine Spirits a.k.a Deities

— Divine Spirits and Deities are the most popularized, since many these days are visited and maintain a tight relationship with their deities. Each deity or divine spirit has its own specificities when it comes to communication and connection, not to mention the UPG’s and particular experiences of their followers, worshipers or workers.

Thoughtforms a.k.a Tar Spirits

— This is a topic to debate, as I’ve seen thoughtform being used in various themes with different connotations, but to specify, this one is related to what the web has been calling Tar Spirits. I, particularly, don’t communicate with them because their egregore and existence isn’t really one amenable to cleansing, enlightenment or anything - but there are people who claim they do so, these two have their own way of being handled when doing Spirit Work.

Those were only some (yes, only some!) generalize examples, each one has its own subcategory. So you see, deciding what you want to work with, first and foremost, is the first step to begin practicing Spirit Work. Also, nothing impedes you from broadening your range of work with time, as long as you have a clear intention as to who and what you’re working with.

• Second step:

With that done, you’re ready for the part that many dread and others adore - Research.

Yeah, yeah, I know. People in the community are already tired of seeing research be always recommended, as if it is implicit. But hey, doesn’t hurt to comment about it once again, because it is true.

This practice, as any other can be done through the empirical way, but will you really put, quite literally, your life at risk?

If the answer is no, then a way to prevent that is to research. Understand the details and methods of the target audience you’ll be working with so that you can prepare and protect yourself.

• Third step:

You defined your target audience, you researched, so much so that you’re confident in yourself and have a certainty that you’ll be safe. Now what? Practice!

Finally the time to start acting and testing all the theory you went through, so… how do you begin?

I’d suggest here beginning in controlled environments with controlled methods. Those, different from just wandering around on energetically charged places (like hospitals, cemeteries and so on) are the ideal to at least not be straight up traumatized in the beginning. So, choose your method of communicating - will you use divination, herbs, meditation, trance, the astral plane, channeling, psychography (the spiritual one, not the study method)?

Whichever method you choose make sure it’s one you're well versed in interpreting, so the chances of having your leg pulled are lesser.

So, do a checklist

Target audience ○

Study and Theory ○

Confidence ○

Preparation ○

Protection ○

Plan and Method ○

Plan B ○

Checked all of those? Then you’re ready to go.

Always make sure to tell a friend who knows what you're doing before, so they can also serve as a second pair of eyes if anything goes haywire.

II. Getting Better

Now, that’s a complicated topic. One because the answer, as you have probably guessed, is to practice. But other than that, when doing Spirit Work you have some… branches of possibility you may choose to follow.

One is to master one technique, applying yourself to the specific type of Spirit with one specific method. Another is to branch out, try as many different Spirits and methods as you want.

So yeah, pretty contradictory, though nothing impedes you from mastering something and then branching out after, just a thought.

III. Instruments

Most Spirit workers do their practices alongside instruments, that of course is not an obligation and it doesn’t mean that if you don’t have one of such you won’t be able to do Spirit Work - but I can not lie, having at least an aiding instrument helps a lot, specially so that you don’t use all your energy up, specially in the beginning of your practice.

Okay, so, these instruments will include herbs and such because they work as an aid during spirit working and also methods of communication, because these too are instruments. With that said, here we go, yeah?

Divinatory Methods: Cards, Runes, Charms, Seashell, etc.

— Used for communication.

Smoking Stick, Candles, Crystals or Incense

— Used for either channeling, warding or intensifying. Can also be used for inviting.

Rue Broom

— Used for cleansing the space before the Spirit work session and after to get rid of any lingering negative energies

Wands and Blades

— Used for directing and controlling energy

Tibetan Tingsha Bells

— Used for attracting and Inviting

Tibetan Bell and Dorjee

— Used for cleansing and passing on the Spirit.

Bones, Remains and Plants

— Used for channeling and Inviting.

Rope and Vessels

— Used for binding.

IV. Interesting Readings

-> How to Communicate with Spirits: Seances, Ouija Boards and Summoning by Angela Kaelin

-> A Brief Introduction to Macumba - on The Culture Trip site

-> Features of Trance Mediumship in Tibetan Buddhism and Modern Spiritualism by Martha Maxine Meilleur

-> The State Oracle of Tibet, Spirit Possession, and Shamanism by Homayun Sidky

-> Buckland's Book of Spirit Communications by Raymond Buckland

-> Talking with the dead: Spirit mediumship, affect and embodiment in Stoke-on-Trent by Nadia Bartolini, Sara MacKian and Steve Pile

••••• 👁•••••

This is it, I’m happy I could approach this topic because it has been one that I’ve been wanting to breach for a while here on tumblr. The readings above are mostly easily accessible pdfs, so if you have time take a look at them, yeah?

Hope this somehow can help someone.

-Lou

( ・∇・)👇🏽

Etsy | Donations

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that-blue-vault-dweller · 3 years

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Can you write about the various activities the SS does with each of the companions?

I was a little worried about this one, but I tried! Hopefully it's good! 🥰 Thank you for the request! 💙💛

Cait - If F!Sole drinks, then they go drinking together and get into the biggest bar fights ever. But if F!Sole is not the type to drink, then they are both perfectly happy with spending time in silence together as they each do their own thing. However, F!Sole also works with her and teaches her how to add mods to her weapons. They are currently working on an upgraded baseball bat for Cait to use in combat, and Cait is both frustrated with the process as well as thrilled with how awesome the bat is and will be.

Piper - Helps her proofread and brainstorm for different articles. (If F!Sole is according to canon) Her time in law school really helps with refining Piper's grammar and punctuation. They also people-watch together and make up funny backstories and names for the people they see. They can spend hours in Diamond City and Goodneighbor whispering amongst themselves and giggling like madwomen and at the same time trying to look innocent. They also spend quite a bit of time discussing things from the old world with Piper eagerly taking notes as F!Sole answers any and all questions the reporter may have.

Curie - F!Sole usually goes out scavenging with her to look for various things to experiment with. Most of it consists of mole rat teeth and bloatfly glands, and F!Sole loves to listen to what Curie is doing in her work. F!Sole oftentimes helps her with the experiments, and even when their efforts blow up in their faces (sometimes literally) they have a good laugh and debate about how to avoid the mistake next time.

MacCready - They work together oiling and polishing each other's guns. They also go out hunting together since they both have great aim and good eyes for spotting creatures moving in the bushes and grass. They also like to talk about their kids (providing that F!Sole kept the robot Shaun) and they spend a lot of time scheduling play dates for the boys.

Deacon - They like to disguise themselves in plain sight and see if the other companions recognize them. They also have absolutely zero reservations about pranking anyone nearby. Their most favorite target of all is Glory because although it is rare that they ever successfully prank her, it is very rewarding when they do due to her very gratifying reaction.

Codsworth - They oftentimes work together to repair things around Sanctuary Hills. He will happily hand her tools and offer assistance if she cannot quite reach something or is not quite strong enough to get it into place. They also happily recount stories from their time together before the bombs and they sometimes speculate about what life would have been like if the bombs never happened.

Hancock - If she is into chems, they get high together. If she is not into chems, then they like to go and make some people uncomfortable in Diamond City. (Post-McDonough-synth-reveal) Now that McDonough is no longer mayor, they have nothing stopping them anymore. They take a particular pleasure in striking up conversations with the higher-class citizens just to shake them in their hoity-toity attitudes.

Danse - They work on power armor together. It seems a little obvious, but they both genuinely love to give one another pointers about mods and help one another through issues and snags with the armor. They are currently trying to build the most fortified, safest, most invincible power armor that they both can possibly piece together.

Preston - They love to go out and take walks through the woods near Sanctuary Hills. They are always armed just in case something goes wrong, but overall, it is just a relaxing look at nature as they talk about anything and everything. It is a really nice way for both of them to wind down and calm themselves from the stress of running the Minutemen and helping so many people.

Valentine - They love to share stories of the old days and experience all of the nostalgia. They also work out detective cases together and with their astute minds put together, they sack the bad guys almost every time. They also like to look into old cases before the war and dive deep into all of the potential motives of the criminals that did it.

X6-88 - They usually do target practice together, and work on one another's aim. He gives her recommendations for improvement and she wastes no time in utilizing them, becoming almost as fast and strong in a gunfight as the courser himself. Of course, whenever he screws up (which is extremely rare) she wastes no time in teasing him a little. After all, he gives her pure heck when she messes up.

Dogmeat - F!Sole loves to play fetch with him and they can go for a while with that. They also play hide and seek. She tells him to stay and then runs away and hides. She then calls for him, and runs around, looking for her everywhere. When he finally finds her, he barks excitedly and she runs from him, the game evolving into tag as they run.

Strong - They have made up a game where they each challenge each other to lift different things. F!Sole almost always loses, but Strong has a good time boasting and picking up things. F!Sole enjoys seeing him happy rather than his usual grumpy self, so she is more than happy to take a few "puny human" comments for the opportunity to bond with Strong.

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butwhatifidothis · 3 years

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So. Took a look into that fic @nilsh13 is going through the comments of. Dunno if I’ll actually go through the entire thing - 300k words is certainly a lot of words to read through, especially with it still updating, but I’ve read through/am reading through longer ones - but I jumped to the latest chapter to get a feel for where the fic’s at now.

I’m not halfway through the chapter and I have Words To Say lmao, under the cut

This is going to be as serious a critique about the sections I’ve selected as possible - I want to be clear why I think what is being written is not of high quality, pointing out specifically what I have wrong with it.

Here are some snippets of the fic (boldened), and following those snippets are my thoughts on them:

“My actions have caused immense turmoil, pitting friend against friend, mother against daughter, and brother against sister*,” muttered Edelgard, desperately trying to drive any hint of self-pity (emphasis mine) from her voice. “My best friend has been disowned by her family, Hubert and Ferdinand’s fathers are dead or imprisoned, and the woman I love is now deemed a heretic by the Church that once offered her shelter. The weight of my decisions seems to pull down all who are caught in the shadow of the Imperial crown.” The Flame Emperor gave Professor Hanneman a wan smile. “Whatever imagined slights you believe you have committed against me, they pale in comparison to the carnage my own words and deeds have unleashed.”

""I made my choice, the only choice I could make, and dragged this continent down to hell with me. It makes me a poor ruler, and an even baser person, but that was the path I knew I must take.""

“"It is funny you use the word ‘choice’, Miss Edelgard. When I resigned my title to study at Garreg Mach, I lost marriage prospects, became penniless outside of a small stipend…I even renounced the opportunity to have a family.” Hanneman smiled, his whole body suffused with melancholy. “Really, how could I dare to dream of bringing a daughter into a world this senseless and cruel, knowing that someday, she too, could be hurt in such a way? I…I would not survive it.” The man’s body shook. “I sacrificed those things, things I desperately wanted, because the chance to allow my sister to rest in peace was more important. And I would make that choice again, despite all that it has cost me. You are much the same.”"

"“But your sacrifices were your own,” protested the Emperor of Adrestia. “Thousands bleed for the choices that I have made, and sacrifice themselves for the cause that I have placed before them. There is a profound difference-“"

"“We are both wise enough to know a painful truth,” said the scholar with a melancholy smile. “No matter how grave the sins, no matter how many innocents suffer…there will be countless individuals who will defend the law not because it is just, or righteous, but because it is the law. They will permit a hundred Abysses, and a thousand women to be raped, and a million dead children, as long as such actions do not disturb their order.” He placed a hand on Edelgard’s shoulder. “To stand against such moral rot, knowing that the world will despise and vilify you for it, is the truest sign of not only a just ruler, but a good woman.”"

"The academic’s words blazed with the passion of both a scholar and a man who had watched his world crumble to ash. A man who had been forced to live in the remnants of a life forever altered by the cruelty of both society and of humanity. And yet he had fought, the only way he could, to make the world better. It gave the Flame Emperor new resolve."

"“I…” He turned and looked away. “I believe in you, Miss Edelgard. When I see you, and your determination, your spirit, your bravery in choosing not what is easy, but what is right…it reminds me of her.” Fingers clenched around his locket. “I will fight for you, in the way I should have fought for my sister, long ago. My strength is meagre, and my courage more meagre still. However, all of it is yours.”"

The author writes Edelgard as one trying to give pity onto herself for her actions, despite how negatively they affect her, due to the immense ramifications those actions have had on those both around her and those under her care. This is the appropriate response to someone who has done as morally dubious an action as starting and spearheading a war that has led to the deaths and suffering of countless innocent people, some of whom were undoubtedly already going through immense suffering without war compounding itself onto their already existing pain. She - rightfully - points as, as a negative towards herself, that she has forced thousands of people to sacrifice their lives, livelihoods, friends, family, homes, etc. in order to continue with her war. Edelgard's canonical self-justification - that she had no other choice to do this - is properly utilized, and further characterization is given to her when she herself recognizes that performing such horrendous actions on the people under her care makes her a poor ruler and terrible person. This is, in truth, a decent set-up for her to go onto a possible path of redemption or self-realization.

However, that progress is forcibly stopped and reverted by Hanneman justifying her actions and recontextualizing them in a morally good light. In fact, the entire story does this, as characters act wildly out of character in order for Edelgard to be seen as good in comparison to them. Focusing on the quoted lines, however, Hanneman relating him giving up nobility and going into momentary poverty - whether true to canon or not - to Edelgard's war actively paints her actions as something that she had a right to be making, which she does not, as they force others to make sacrifices for her cause. When she herself rightfully points this discrepancy out, Hanneman excuses her actions by pointing to another - supposed - source of turmoil and essentially saying "You are more right than x, therefore your y actions are not only better, but objectively good, and make you a good person." He says nothing of the inherent injustice of taking away the choice of the people to live as they want and fight for who they want as well as deliberately taking away any semblance of safety from them, and makes objective statements about Edelgard's moral righteousness despite her taking actions that would, by definition, make her moral righteousness a subjective matter at minimum.

Hanneman is projecting the image of his sister and his own personal sense of justice onto Edelgard, and thus sees her as just as much a victim of the war and society as everyone else. Edelgard is a young woman who has gone through trauma due to Crests, as was his sister, and he himself (in this story, though not within the quoted lines) wanted to beat the man who abused his sister to death, and so he sees Edelgard using violence as a means to achieve justice as not only not questionable, but morally good and brave, as he felt he was not brave enough to enact "justice" onto the man that caused his sister's death. Instead of this being settled, focused on, or even mentioned, despite its obvious nature due to deliberate connections Hanneman himself makes, it is used as a means to showcase that Hanneman is a, for lack of a better term, "expert" on what he is saying when speaking to Edelgard. He knows what it's like to want to force change, he has by-proxy experienced the apparent injustice of the Church - not human society, not his family's decision to allow his sister to be married off, not the man who caused her death's decision to discard her, but strictly the Church and only the Church - and so he can "rightfully" justify and excuse Edelgard's morally questionable actions and paint them in a solely positive light, with no nuance or gray whatsoever.

Edelgard, in the first quote, attempts to say her actions without a tone of self-pity, and yet the narrative itself pities Edelgard. She should be allowed to feel bad about her actions - not because they are causing unfathomable suffering on people who were underserving, but because they’re just hard decisions that she was good and brave to make and maybe she can feel a little bad for herself for making them. She shouldn't feel responsible for choosing to start the war - in fact, did she really have a choice, or did everyone else in society force her to? She shouldn't question whether she's a good person or not, because she simply is - no debate, no question. She is - “justly” - standing up against "moral rot"; that she does so with even more moral rot is irrelevant, because, according to the story, it is not as rotten as that she's up against, therefore it is no longer rotten in the first place. War has been completely justified, as it is now not the last resort of desperation that could only ever be morally grey at its absolute best, but an objectively morally white decision of an objectively morally white person who is facing an objectively morally black opponent.

The actions of other characters attempt to paint Edelgard as someone closer to the former, but I will - maybe - eventually go over how those characters are extremely mischaracterized in order to prop Edelgard as their moral superior.

#anti edelgard #Anti-edelgard #Edelgard critical #o captain my captain #<- borrowing nilsh's tag for this lmao in case I do end up continuing this #but yeah from just the latest chapter there are characters that 100% cheerlead for the pure righteousness that is Edelgard #so yeah that's... gonna be fun lmao

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1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years

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🚨Thurs 17 Dec ‘20🚨

No one will argue, this year has been the worst and I'm not really into that whole 'silver linings to bad things' bit, but... BUT! If the demise of live shows and rise of livestreams meant Zayn deciding to perform for us?! Well. I would be willing to reconsider my whole ass philosophy on life! Unfortunately, despite the excitement (or was it hysteria?) he inspired last night by getting all our hopes up, it might just be a music video? We'll see though. He definitely did register a new song, UNFXWITABLE (!), and then, and THEN: slid a single photo into his instagram story, a truly beautiful old baroque theater stage, fitted with live show speakers and a tantalizingly closed red curtain. The stage lights are on, the seats are empty... prepping for zomething?? It was discovered to be the St George Theater in Staten Island, very exciting, but today more video of them working on whatever they're working on surfaced (a snippet at the theater with a bit of an unknown song audible) that makes it seem more likely they're working on a music video than a livestream set up. Still, we can DREAM. At the very least we're getting a new song any minute now and at best-- Z3 and a video AND a liveztream?? (or prerecorded, that's FINE.) The pap pics the other day were him leaving a menswear boutique (sorry I said home, my bad, it was the usual 'front door to car' walk though) leading to speculation he was getting fitted for zomething zpecial... maybe we'll get to see it soon!

Likely on account of the added European show tickets going on sale today, Louis came online to check in, and also to laugh at old videos of himself, send larries into a tailspin, and best of all, weigh in on and shut down discourse left and right THANK YOU SIR! Louis is happy to walk us all through how not to get Live In London video taken down (“do it on a burner account haha?” tips from the master truly, no one would know better so listen to him); he denies having such an account himself (“maybe I should”) though unlike Liam (see below) HE doesn't go that extra step into obvious lie territory and say he's NEVER had one. On how he deals with comments about his height (which are up again these last few days due to a video circulating that uses math to conclude once again that he is in fact, as documented, 5'9”), “I rise above them,” he zings back, and in appreciation of someone who actually got the joke, “you're on my level,” DOUBLE PUNNING, BOOM but that's not all: he finishes off with the comment that finished ME off, “such a peculiar debate.” REALLY. Peculiar specifically, not like strange or weird or annoying you just... went right in for the Eroda copyrighted word huh. OKAY. Also: no, probably no collabs on LT2 (“doubt it”), yes he loves twitter “in doses, no better way to talk to you lot” (you mean even better than via t shirts?? sounds fake but okay), tells us he is “100% for sure” is gonna get the vaccine, and that “cucumber is shit” which isn't really a discourse we needed him to solve that I knew of but like, okay! Sorted! Antis seethed about him talking to larries and larry UAs and picking a video of him and H singing You and I to reply to, and probably cucumber enthusiasts and anti-vaxxers were unhappy too, but the rest of us? WINNING.

Liam is all over, first appearing in a fisherman's cap that nicely sets of his full and fluffy beard, then demonstrating answering questions for the Naughty List insta filter. He says he has never made a fake social media account, so I guess he's not lurking here reading these or I would guess that if I believed THAT for one second, he also says yes I have lied to my best friend so I'll just chose to believe he means us by 'best friend' since here he is, lying away. Dixie is absent from the recent promo, which is a blessing not just because they don't mesh particularly well but also because she's gotten even more terrible on main, moving from simply allying herself with racists to producing her own racist content- if we're lucky she'll simply fade away along with xmas and we can move on without any of that thank you very much. Liam is still a good BFF to us though: today he's offering himself up as prize in a raffle, you can enter to win a 'once in a lifetime VIP Experience in 2021 with Liam' for a low low £5, funds going to Stagehand's #ILoveLive campaign to support industry workers. And on the 17th day of christmas, my LP Advent Alarm woke me up with... Roman Kemp leading us through a weirdly peppy breathing exercise, backed with both soothing spa music and a sample of Liam's voice taken from the sleep story played over and over at near random intervals! I said it before and I'll say it again, they REALLY should have recorded all the material at once last month, but tbh I am enjoying the chaotic daily scramble to find something to put on the thing that's come of them being caught short maybe even more than I would normal content, it's getting downright experimental and I'm fully here for it. It's got that classic janky af for no reason 1D feel you know!

Rob Sheffield found better things to say about Watermelon Sugar, naming it his number one song of 2020 and calling it “a lost Stevie Nicks/ Stevie Wonder duet” plus gifting us a Harry quote: “that one we reworked a bunch of times, and it died a couple times, then it just kept coming back. We fully killed it a few times, but it kept coming back in. So I thought, There’s a reason it’s surviving.” And Chris Pine- who also says that he's all done shooting his part of Don't Worry Darling- said, “Harry Styles is an absolute delight. He's one of the most professional people I've ever met. Couldn't be kinder, more gracious, I mean, really, I was stunned by this kid. He's off-the-charts cool.”

And finally, as 2020 draws to a close we are being flooded with a barrage of our guys being declared winners of incredibly narrow categories (Harry on a list of 'groundbreaking magazine covers' for example), but I think the winner of MY list of 'Highly Specific Accolades' is sewn up for the year already; Heartbreak Weather is officially “the first [advertising] campaign to utilize weather-tracking technology to target content to users”! I'll definitely be keeping my eye out for competitors but beating that for reaching for a category will be TOUGH.

#zayn #zayn malik world domination!!#as they say on the twits #louis tomlinson #harry styles #niall horan #i guess #Dixie deets in intern's tags but I abstain on the basis that's she's irrelevant and soon to be history #but if you're looking for that full story head over to her reblog #note her url has changed!!#the intern is now 1DdotdHQ! A promotion!! you can still call her intern if you want but she also answers to Hot Oli #other HQs are welcome to join my internship program if they wanna learn a thing or two #working conditions are bad and pay is worse! get in!#so like I'm not suggesting Zayn would schedule his life around anything so silly but if he did a stream that HAPPENED to be before the end o #of the year #he would totally knock Louis out of his record holding spot? Like I don't want to see that specifically but #if that would tempt his petty ass maybe we should wave it as a motivator #don't think he wouldn't be able to either Louis said about his louies 'they never see us coming' and how right he is #but even the FANDOM never see the zquad coming and it is a FORCE and has even harries beat for sheer numbers #anyway #Roman Kemp's breathing exercise sounds like its led by Arthur Shappey #rich spirit #dixie d'amelio #roman kemp #Rob Sheffield #chris pine #this account is so weird the people who I'm like huh THAT person has a tag now on my 1D update account OKAY THEN #17 dec 20

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15-dogs · 3 years

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can you write about sirus (you’re dating) and you get the death mark even thougjt you didn’t want to (a draco-like situation) and she pulls away from everyone because shes scared and sirius finds out and helps her

fixing a hole |s.b.|

pairing: young!sirius black x fem!reader

summary: you realize that things for sirius black don’t always work out the same for you

warnings: food mention, implied depression, isolation (if there’s anything you want me to add don’t hesitate to message me!)

guide: (Y/N) = your name, (Y/L/N) = your last name, (Y/N/N) = your nickname, italics = flashback

word count: 2.6K

a/n: I wanted to give a little context so I started a little earlier than you and him dating I hope that’s ok!! this is a little like fluff to angst to hurt/comfort ish?? it does have some topics that could be difficult so be mindful of the warnings and I hope you like it!!

Everyone in your family talked about Sirius and Regulus Black. It was a well known fact that Sirius had run away from the family to live with those blood traitor Potters, deserting his position as a soldier to the Dark Lord. Sirius’s name was a dirty word in your family, like poison that dripped from the tongues of your predecessors.

Regulus was a godsend. Your parents would constantly talk about him. They had even mentioned you marrying into his family a few times. The command would send shivers down your spine and you weren’t sure why. This is what you wanted, this is what you’ve always wanted.

Then why couldn’t you stop thinking about Sirius Black?

You’d get distracted during classes just staring at his simple elegance. He had these strong hands that you would study as he wrote an essay in class, wondering if they were soft or rough, if they were firm or gentle, if they would fit perfectly in yours. Your eyes would glaze over as you would divulge into your imagination, imagining his arms wrapping around you and pulling you tight against him.

“Control your perverted fantasies, (Y/L/N),” Severus scolded. His eyes never once left his paper as he continued to reprimand your behavior. “Don’t deny the fact that you were staring at Black. Learn to manage those feelings.”

You scowled at the boy who you had once considered a close friend. He had no right to talk to you the way he did, seeing as he was the one who was in love with Lily Evans. He was simply bitter. Bitter at Evans, and Potter, and Black. Bitter at the lot of them just because he made bad decisions.

The more you thought about his actions, the more you feared you were to become him. But that wasn’t it. Not really, anyway. You were more concerned that everyone thought that you were like him. And by everyone, you really meant Sirius Black.

You chanced a look at the raven haired boy, until to find him staring back at you. Your heart froze over as his gray eyes were trained on your body. But then a fleet of butterflies occupied your stomach as he gave you a kind and genuine smile, waving gently at you. Potter knocked his hand down a moment later, whispering something to his friend. You took the small opportunity to stray your eyes from the boy that you undoubtedly fancied, hoping your cheeks weren’t as red as they felt.

In Divination later that day, you and Sirius were partnered up to read each other’s palms. Your hands were sweating, you were sure of it. You debated the consequences of wiping your hands off on your robes but decided against it, fearing it would lead to a risky line of questioning from the boy across from you.

“I have to be entirely honest with you, (Y/N),” Sirius began. Your heart sped in your chest as you stared at him with wide eyes. “I haven’t been doing the notes. What exactly is...palmistry?”

You cleared your throat awkwardly and shifted in your seat to avoid his piercing gaze. “Palm reading.”

A wicked grin crept onto his face. “And I get to read your palm?”

“Yes.”

“Finally, an opportunity to hold your hand.”

Your heart leapt into your throat. Sirius could see it, too. He could see how flustered his comment made you. But the longer you thought about it, the more you recalled how he always acted like that towards you.

Before Sirius left his family, you used to spend time with him. Not in a friendly way, but in a we’re-the-same-age-at-this-dinner-party-that-our-parents-made-us-go-to kind of way. He would always make gentle comments like that one. Nothing too crude, just enough to make your stomach turn. Although, the idea of him being crude to you thrilled you a little, but you’d never admit it to him.

“Hand, princess.” Sirius outstretched a hand to you, yanking yours by the wrist into his field of vision.

You always blushed when he called you princess. You were an only child, and most pureblood families lived in a sea of boys so Sirius knew you as one of the very few pureblood girls (that he wasn’t related to) he used to spend time with. He’d call you princess because that’s what you were: a pureblood princess.

You rolled your eyes at his gruffness, pretending that you were affected by it. Sirius flipped open the textbook and spotted a diagram of a hand, glancing between that and your palm in front of him.

“This looks like your...head line.” He traced a finger across your palm which had you shivering; his hands were most definitely rough.

“And?”

His eyes snapped up to yours. “And what?”

“What does it say, Black?” Your tone was borderline irritated but you knew you couldn’t be mad at Sirius. Not when he looked at you like a wounded puppy.

“What do you mean what does it say? Aren’t we supposed to be identifying the parts of the palm?”

You stifled a laugh and playfully kicked the boy in the shins. “No, you idiot, read my palm!”

“Alright, alright, okay!”

You furrowed your brow slightly, a smile still on your face; you were positive that Sirius Black was blushing. It was a good look on him.

“Your head line” —he looked up at you for confirmation, to which you nodded— “says you can’t get me out of your head.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “It does not-”

He silenced you with another stroke across your palm. “Your life line says you want to spend the rest of your life with me— how romantic.”

“That’s just cheesy-”

“Your heart line says you desperately, desperately want me.”

“Impossible-”

“And your fate line says that we’re destined to go on a date to Hogsmeade this weekend.”

You blinked in shock. Your eyes darted around the room, expecting to hear someone gossiping about what Sirius had been saying. But you were simply being paranoid, and you knew it, too.

You leaned in slightly towards him, faltering as his musky cologne hit your senses. “Is that a joke? If it is, it isn’t very funny.”

You tried to lean away when he didn’t respond, feeling shame boil up in your stomach when he utilized the grip on your wrist, yanking you towards him so his breath was hot on your ear.

“No, princess,” he growled lowly in your ear, a devilish smirk on his lips, “I’m serious.”

—

From that point forward, Sirius and you were inseparable. Well, to an extent. Your relationship was a secret, the only people having known were James, Remus, and Peter at Sirius’s request. He understood the importance of hiding your relationship, seeing how he was the trademark blood traitor and all. So that was that, no one could know that you were falling in love with Sirius Black.

One of the very few places you convened for dates— or even just to spend some time together— was the illusive Room of Requirement. It opened for you one day as you wandered the halls, head cloudy with decisions that needed to be made about yours and Sirius’s relationship. Ultimately, it convinced you that you and Sirius could work together as a hidden couple, so you decided to continue things with the boy that you had admittedly grown quite fond of.

The door appeared and the room was slightly different this time, that of which had you on edge because you knew that you had come to talk to Sirius about a certain decision that he had made. So that’s exactly where you were, the room that fostered it all, cuddling up against your boyfriend’s chest as he recounted the memories of leaving his home.

Sirius’s hand ran its course up and down the side of your arm as he talked about showing up at the Potter’s familial home. “I was scared, of course, that they wouldn’t take me in. But they did, and I should’ve known that they would-”

What you said next was purely accidental. You didn’t mean to tell him in this hurried way, but you did. It was like the hours of listening could only fit in your head if you let one piece of information go; an eye for an eye. That was the sentiment that propelled you to say, “I’m thinking of moving out.”

Sirius’ movements stopped instantly. He craned his neck to meet your watery eyes, almost to check if what you said was sincere. He knew how much you hated your family, and how that hatred had bloomed and blossomed throughout the years but never did he expect you to say such definitive words.

“Do you know what you’re saying?” he asked carefully like his words would shatter you, if not drive the chisel further through your cracks.

“I do.” You sat up out of his grasp, leaning against the armrest on the couch which you two sat upon. “You did it, and I want out. I’m going to do it, too.”

He reached up to cup your cheeks, directing your line of sight to align with his. “Love, what’s going on?” You noticed his eyes flicker towards your wrist, sending your stomach tumbling. “Did they…?”

You jerked away from him. “They want to, so I want out.”

Sirius took a few sobering breaths before settling back onto the other end of the couch. He ran his hands over the worn fabric as he studied you like it was the last time he’d be able to see you. He ran a hand over his face as he sighed, “How can I help?”

—

Things did not go according to plan. You and Sirius had figured that you would escape in the middle of the night during winter break and meet him at the Potter’s home. But things went sour quickly.

You rarely showed strong emotions, feeling that you could keep them intact. But right then, you couldn’t. All the fear and anger had sat inside you for too long and you couldn’t help but cry and rage and scream and sob in the comforts of the Room of Requirement.

“I’m asking you to be quiet, Ebbol!”

“Master Veritas! Master Treagar! I fear that Master (Y/N) is attempting to escape! Masters? Masters!”

You felt that you were flush out of tears, but that emptiness still sat inside you. As you sat on the couch, your eyes unfocusing as your mind narrowed in on that hole. The emptiness hurt. You wanted it gone, or at least wanted something to fill it. Even a temporary fix would do. Just something to stop the pain.

“No, no! Please, mother, please! I swear, I wasn’t…”

You stood up a moment later, clenching your eyes shut as if that would hide the horrors that replayed relentlessly in your head. You wiped your tears away, taking out your wand to place a glamour charm that would hide your puffy eyes and pale lips.

You snuck out and walked to your first class, skipping breakfast because you truly didn’t think that you could stomach it. Your eyes could only focus on what was ahead of you, which is why you didn’t see Sirius jogging up beside you.

“Hey...hey! (Y/N/N), are you okay?”

His words were dull in your ears. You blinked slightly before shrugging out of his grasp on your arm, walking into the classroom ahead.

“You didn’t show up,” Sirius continued as he followed you in. “Are you okay?”

You felt sick bubbling up in your throat and you couldn’t continue talking to him any longer. Every second that you did, you were reminded of who you were: a pureblood princess.

“Go away,” you sneered shakily.

Sirius knew better than to argue with you so he shuffled back to his seat, stealing hurt glances at you every few seconds. Not that you could notice with that ache on your wrist. That was too powerful to focus on anything else.

—

You spent most of your time in the Room of Requirement. It became a second home to you if it wasn’t before. You knew that you couldn’t go back to your common room, knowing that all the eyes on you would make you feel sicker than you had before.

Your emptiness had swallowed you whole. You would stare, you would sleep, you would wake. Nightmares had taken a toll on that cycle, removing the sleeping portion. For a while you had debated brewing your own sleeping draught but you soon realized you couldn’t, barely having enough energy to get out of bed and attend classes each day. Some days, you skipped classes all together.

Sirius noticed your gaunt face and sunken eyes. He had seen you pull away and seal yourself off from everyone— especially him. He wasn’t really sure what your relationship was anymore, but it didn’t matter. He cared about you. Deeply, at that. Lover or friend.

You didn’t turn around as you heard the groaning of the old stones moving to welcome the familiar door. The door opened slowly and quiet footsteps padded in. The couch sunk slightly beside you, and it was only then that you looked up. Sirius jumped at the sight of your face without all the protective beauty charms covering it.

“Merlin, (Y/N), you look ill. When was the last time you ate something?”

You slowly turned away from him. “I...I don’t remember.” You didn’t have the energy to be mad at him, or feel anything towards him, for that matter.

“I brought some chocolate,” he explained as she rifled through the pockets of his leather jacket. “It’s from Moony’s stash. He let me take some for you.”

You absentmindedly took the chocolate, peeling away at the wrapper and biting down gently. As you chewed on the chocolate, Sirius patiently waited for you to speak up. You knew why he was there. You had dreamt about it going quite badly, but you had dreamt about it, nonetheless. You had to tell him. You had no choice.

So, without speaking, you set the chocolate bar down and raised your sleeve to reveal the Dark Mark on your left forearm. He jumped up from the couch, running his hands through his hair.

“I knew it, I knew it,” he mumbled to himself. “Those sick bastards.”

“I can’t get it off, Sirius. I tried charms to hide it, even muggle makeup. Nothing works.” Your voice turned shaky as you looked up at Sirius.

His pacing stopped and he sank down to your level, cupping your jaw. “How did they do it?”

“My house-elf caught me on the way out. He called my parents in and they just...mother said they couldn’t wait any longer...that I was to be a blood traitor if I didn’t get it.”

Sirius mentally scolded himself for allowing you to do such a reckless thing without backup. He helped you plan your escape, and now he was responsible for your downfall. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes but he fought them back as he looked at you.

“I can’t go back,” you whispered.

“You’re not going to,” he said decisively.

“I can’t just leave, you know that didn’t work last time.”

He took a careful breath to calm his nerves as his hands trailed down from your face to your hands. “When someone I love gets hurt, I get involved.”

You jumped into his arms. As he tugged you closer to his chest, you felt that emptiness slowly start to fill up with...something. It was a warmth you had never felt. A warmth that made you tear up. Sirius started to tear up as well as he ran his hands over you like he hadn’t seen in you in years. Maybe he felt that emptiness, too. And maybe you filled that emptiness, too. And maybe, just maybe, you filled that emptiness with love as he did for you.

#cw food mention #tw food mention #cw implied depression #tw implied depression #cw isolation #tw isolation #sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black headcanon #sirius black imagine #young sirius black #young sirius imagine #young sirius x reader #young!sirius black #fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years

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Which member do you think is the most supportive of VMIN?

Admin 1: For a change I’ll be the one that’ll use comparatively few words since I don’t have that big of an opinion. As much as I enjoy joining in on the jokes about how Jimin is the president of the Namjinists (due to his April Fool’s Day joke tweet from years ago and other such things), I’ve never given much thought to who among the members might be the most supportive of vmin.

But perhaps I’d say it could be Hoseok due to his general fondness of both Jimin and Tae as individuals but also as them together, how he said his favorite song off of MOTS7 is Friends and even sung it during the FESTA karaoke with the iconic (very suggestive and heavy on the implications) hip thrust during Tae’s “hey, Jimin, oneul” part. I’m sure you know exactly what I mean. Also if we consider that Jimin and Hoseok were roommates for a long time, I guess it wouldn’t be too far-fetched of an assumption to make on my part that surely they had a number of deep late night talks over the years, and chances are Jimin would’ve sought out advice from Hoseok during one of them, perhaps even confided in him about his feelings for Tae (regardless which ones, both would be valid and something you’d talk about with a close friend).

Another option might be Namjoon, since he’s the leader and thus certainly the person who would have to know about such developments within the group for obvious reasons, but also it seems like Namjoon sought out consolation and advice from both Jimin (like that scene in BV4 around the bonfire off to the side from the group) and Tae (like the story he told at 5th Muster Seoul (?) about how he was kind of sad/feeling off so he talked to Tae before the encore and what Tae said made him feel better), meaning they are more than close enough to bring up certain topics with each other. So, based on that, it doesn’t seem too much of a stretch that he would stand up/look out for them if need be in conversations with BH etc.

That being said, regardless of how we interpret vmin and their bond, I think it’s safe to say that all the members are endlessly supportive of them, just like they are with any other duo within the group, though it’s easy to see that they do highlight vmin at times as something…special. A bond that’s noteworthy, stands out, even within a group as close as they are.

Admin 2: Chances are that what I think and am about to say might be a bit controversial. At the same time I’d like to note that this is only my personal opinion and theory, and not some kind of proven fact, yes? Perhaps no one will agree with me, but after putting many thoughts into this and looking at different content and events that have transpired over the years, as well as some other factors I’ll explain later, these are the conclusions I’ve drawn when it comes to the members and vmin. Furthermore, I don’t want to negate/comment on other ships since those don’t really play any role in this the way some might assume.

I think it’s important to remember that BTS basically exist in two version (though they are closely intertwined):

1: the idols on screen, who stand on stage, who share their music with us, who film content and who, to a certain degree, play a role, keep up an appearance that’s part honest and part mystery.

“I think V can show parts of Kim Taehyung and parts of V, but Kim Taehyung can’t show V. Kim Taehyung is Kim Taehyung. Kim Taehyung is someone who’s still filled with a lot of curiosity and he’s inquisitive about a lot of things. There are so many things he wants to do. Also I think there’s so many things he is curious about.” – Tae, Break the Silence: Persona

2: the real-life humans with private lives, private friendships and personalities that are similar but not quite the same as what we know and see.

Both of these are real in their own right, and both of them influence each other in more ways than one. So, when we look at vmin in the context of both, the question of support and showing certain things and how those affect version 1 and 2 are tricky, multifaceted and much more complex than some imagine or present it as. Because the moment we assume private life vmin are real, that sort of swift in dynamic ultimately also affects their work and demands adjustments from all parties involved, especially the other members. A large portion of what they do and say on screen or anywhere that we can see it is, to a certain degree, planned or has been discussed prior.

More below the cut since this kind of got long:

In one of the Break the Silence episodes Namjoon spoke about how with the more recent tours they haven’t been really able to do as much “free style” stuff (as in moving freely around stage and being silly, that sort of thing) between songs with choreographies, as opposed to how it used to be in the early days, since much of the show is perfectly timed and planned down to every little detail and every single light surrounding the stage. Much the same way everything else sure is, too. Look at RUN, even there you can notice them looking at printed out pages that surely contain a short storyboard of how the episode should more or less go in general terms, since that makes editing and keeping things cohesive much easier, especially since BTS are seven people, therefore seven moving independent variables.

Keeping all of this in mind, I’ve come to the conclusion that, in my opinion, the biggest vmin supporter is JK, followed by Hobi and Namjoon. I don’t mean, by any means, that completely idiotic theory some have created that one ship hides another, because that isn’t at all what I am going for with this. Of course Tae and JK are T*ek*ok (a subunit name they’ve after all created themselves though that context of that moment has long been changed by people) and Jimin and JK are J*ko*k, and depending on the demand (from a PR point of view as well as those of fans) and situations, those ships are utilized/highlighted in certain ways to achieve certain things. With this I don’t mean to belittle the actual real-life bonds between the real-life members, merely the “fantasy” versions created in large parts by shippers.

But that isn’t what I mean. Let me explain.

There are several situations that I think support my theory/opinion, past and more recent, but for the sake of fresh memories that we’ll all be able to recall, I’ll use more recent ones. During their vlive when BE and Life Goes On were just released, the one where they wore PJs, had pizza and that cardboard cutout of Yoongi, there was a moment when Tae was supposed to put lipstick on Jimin. He pulled Jimin close with his arm around his shoulder while Jimin giggled and playfully pretended to try and push him away or stop him from doing it, despite seemingly holding on to his top to keep him close anyway. While that was happening, the other members checked what they were doing and notably JK, upon seeing what vmin were up to, moved a few steps away closer toward the cameras and stood as though between vmin and said cameras while holding that silver screen thing used for lighting in photography (I’m not sure how it’s called). Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but seeing as Namjoon, who carried the Yoongi cutout, joined him, it seemed like they were trying to hide vmin, which of course didn’t work out since the producers simply switched to a different camera.

This might be me going temporarily delulu but toward the end of that sequence there was a moment where we couldn’t see much of vmin save for the tops of their heads. At some point Tae made a move with his head which some (including myself) have interpreted as a potential smooch (as in an actual one or just him pretending/doing the motion of it, that’s up for debate) which caused Hobi to break out in loud laughter.

A second example is day two of MOTS ON:E when it was time for Dynamite. Usually vmin just walk past each other doing something funny or interacting in some way, but on that day instead Jimin pulled Tae closer, enough so that their foreheads touched, and they looked at each other in quite a meaningful way. At the same time JK stood right behind them, since he’s the one that opens the song, and watched what was happening. Just like with the above example, he stepped toward them and put his hand on the back of Tae’s head in a gesture that I interpreted as a form of safety measurement that IF vmin were to potentially do something…risky, he could intervene by quite literally pulling them apart/stopping them. This moment of course has been twisted and manipulated in many different ways to, for example, showcase some supposed jealousy or alike, but I think that’s just plain stupid.

I’d also like to show you a few other pictures that I think show us the kind of dynamic he really has with vmin, how he watches (over) his hyungs with affection and support, so to speak:

(the following pictures, left to right: JM, JK, TH)

The sole fact that three maknae ships can exist simultaneously, while vmin might be the likely one to be real, in my opinion shows that everything between the three of them must be more than okay, that there’s harmony and understanding between them, everyone knowing their place/role exactly, that there’s no jealousy or other negative emotions involved. Even more so when we consider the stakes that come with it all, at the top of it all being money, not only for the members but also BH (including everyone who invested money in stocks, as well as all their employees that need to be paid). And the fact that BTS aren’t rookies anymore, but instead they have a big and very relevant role in a broader sense when it comes to influence, power, and fame.

Look at how professional they are when it comes to being idols and everything that entails, including shipping. Just look at how despite Tae’s Weverse comment to that one shipper, and the conversation in In The Soop, they played their roles so convincingly that no one who is in favor of that ship is willing to believe them or consider that perhaps they were wrong. But, this is more of a topic for another post, so I’ll leave it at that.

Looking at all these moments, bigger and smaller ones, gestures that some didn’t even notice or did but interpreted in a completely different way for their own reasons, it brought me to the conclusion that JK is their biggest supporter.

Just like Admin 1 said, I also think that Hobi and Namjoon are big supporter as well. Although I can’t for the life of me remember the piece of content where he said this (if anyone knows, please do let me know), I recall a moment where Namjoon spoke to Tae and said that he’s his responsibility, which made me wonder if that perhaps meant that Namjoon gave his vote of confidence about Tae (and vmin) to BH or agreed to keep an eye on him/them to keep them in check. But that’s just a thought/theory.

At the end of the day, whatever our opinion may be, we have to remember that we know very little about their private life, a tiny percentage if even, so it’s important to stick to/pay attention to/based our opinions on the original material and what the members say, instead of taking into account edited videos on YT or opinions influenced by others agendas, but that, too, is something to be discussed in a different post.

Thank you for this interesting question!

#answered ask #answered ask by admin 1 #answered by admin 2 #vmin #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #a little discussion on the dynamic within the group in a vmin context #jimin #taehyung

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whenisitenoughtrees · 4 years

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Congrats on 500 followers!!!!! Your writing is amazing and you totally deserve it! Would you be able to do “Can you please stop biting your lip…it’s distracting.” for analogical? If you don’t get inspo for it that’s totally fine I’m just on a total analogical kick recently lol

@wisherbystarlight thank you!! i absolutely love analogical so here you go

Title: abject impermanence

Word Count: 3,570

Content Warnings: implied suicidal ideation (in reference to virgil ducking out), negative self image

(fic masterpost)

Virgil would rather die than admit this to anybody, but he develops a crush on Logan after their first debate.

It’s ridiculous, and bothersome, and stupidly humiliating, and he has to spend a few days in his room before he feels prepared enough to face anyone again, prepared enough to put up his usual walls and throw around his usual sarcastic comments, and all the while, his heart is beating far too fast, his mind racing, insisting that he’s being obvious, that everyone knows.

(That is what being Anxiety means: he is under a microscope all the time, his every movement watched and analyzed and derided, alone in a crowd of people who wish him nothing but ill.)

It’s awful, really. Is he truly so pathetic that the first time someone treats him like his opinions are valid, he falls head over heels for them? Because he has to admit, that’s the root of all of this. The debate, and the fact that even though Logan didn’t agree with him, he still treated him with respect, like he was someone worth listening to, and none of the light sides have ever acted like that before.

And they’ve certainly never told him that they don’t mind his company.

So. He has a crush on Logan. And it takes him a few weeks to calm down enough to really think about it, but when he does, he decides that nothing has to change. It’s not like he’ll ever work up the courage to act on these feelings

(because holy shit, how badly would that go? He can picture it now: Logan sneering at him, Logan rejecting him, Logan informing him that he would never in a million years have feelings for someone so irrational and useless, and while Virgil is at it, would he kindly remove himself from his presence and never come back and— well. Maybe Virgil is irrational, but he can’t bring himself to risk something like that)

so the only thing to do with them is pretend they’re not there, right? He’ll keep all of his emotions right here, in his chest, and then one day, he’ll die, and no one else has to know a thing about it.

He doesn’t see what could possibly go wrong with this plan. Which is odd for him because usually, he can only see the things that could go wrong. But the only factor in this plan is him, and his own ability to disguise his feelings, and he’s been successfully doing that for a very long time.

(After all, it’s been years, and none of the others have managed to figure out how much their rejection hurts him, how deeply it strikes at the heart he pretends not to have.)

But he doesn’t anticipate things changing. He doesn’t anticipate trying to duck out, at least, not until the moments in between making the decision and actually going through with it, and he doesn’t anticipate anybody coming after him. He certainly doesn’t anticipate their reactions, doesn’t anticipate being told that he’s important,

(because since fucking when?)

and doesn’t anticipate their acceptance.

He doesn’t anticipate telling them his name.

And alright, maybe he could deal with all of this. Maybe he could ease his way into being one of them, edge his way into their inner circle. It’s something he once would have thought impossible, but now, they seem determined to make him one of them, to bring him into their family, and even though part of him wonders whether they’re just trying to make sure he doesn’t duck out again, doesn’t hurt Thomas, a larger part of him is ecstatic about the fact that they’re including him at all. Maybe he can let himself have this, for once.

But that night, Logan comes to his room.

“Do you have a moment to talk?” he asks, and reluctantly, Virgil takes off his headphones.

Because, yes. Of course. He’s hardly busy, and even if he were, he’s certain he’d figure out a way to put it aside in favor of Logan, because really, he’s helpless to do anything else.

“Yeah, sure,” he says, aiming for casual. He thinks he makes it, if only because he is very practiced in hiding how much of a mess he is internally. “What’s up?”

Logan looks uncomfortable, a bit shifty, even though he hasn’t been in his room nearly long enough for its effects to take hold.

“I merely wanted to check in with you after today’s events,” he says, and then pauses, biting his lip, something that Virgil finds incredibly distracting. “Specifically, to ensure that you are alright.”

He blinks. “Of course I’m alright,” he says. “Why wouldn’t I be alright?”

“Well, I was considering everything that happened, and it occurred to me that we glossed over precisely what ‘ducking out’ would have done to you in the long term.” In an oddly vehement motion, Logan shoves his glasses further up his nose. And Virgil knows very well that as the embodiment of Logic, Logan tries not to display his stronger emotions, but right now, he is the perfect picture of distress. “I find it likely that if Thomas had been unable to utilize you for an extended amount of time, you may have… disappeared, for lack of a better word, not unlike a muscle that atrophies after disuse.”

Well, yes. He knew what he was risking. But he’d felt low enough that he didn’t particularly care about himself.

He was just tired of hurting Thomas.

(And maybe, just maybe, if there was a part of him, small and insidious in the back of his brain, that found the prospect of nothingness appealing, he’ll keep that to himself.)

“I mean, yeah,” he says. “But that didn’t happen. You guys came and got me, and I’m okay now. Not gonna do anything like that again, I swear.”

“That’s not my point,” Logan says, even more upset entering his voice. He crosses his arms, holding his shoulders tensely. “No matter how illogical it might seem, I find myself wondering what might have happened had we not attempted to reach you in time, and the idea is… displeasing.”

Oh.

Despite himself, Virgil’s heart flutters.

“So, I arrived at the conclusion that assuring myself of your continued well-being would help to assuage my concern.” Logan fidgets. “As well as the fact that… I want you to be alright. For yourself, and not just because I am…”

“Anxious?” Virgil can’t resist finishing, even as he feels his face flushing underneath his foundation. God, he hopes Logan doesn’t pick up on that. He shouldn’t be reacting this strongly to something as simple as basic worry, especially after the day they all had, but to know that Logan has been thinking about him? That Logan doesn’t like the idea of him not being around, doesn’t want him to vanish?

That Logan cares enough to come check on him like this?

It’s a strong, heady feeling, and Virgil has the sneaking suspicion that his crush has just upgraded itself.

“Yes,” Logan answers, and he seems a bit embarrassed, but he holds his ground, staring Virgil straight (gay) in the eyes. The direct eye contact is intense, almost too much for him to handle, but Virgil finds himself unable to look away.

“Well, uh, I appreciate it, I guess,” he manages. “Really, it’s nice to know that you care.”

“Of course,” Logan says, and seems almost indignant at the idea that he might not. “I value our discussions,” he adds, and Virgil has to pretend that that statement doesn’t almost give him a heart attack.

But that is mostly the end of that conversation, because really, neither of them is very good with touchy-feely emotions. Logan sinks back out shortly after, and Virgil is left alone in his room, his headphones lying uselessly on his lap as his mind reviews their exchange over and over again, searching for all the places where it might have gone wrong, or where he might have messed up. He can’t really find any, and that is a realization in and of itself, almost enough to distract him from the bigger one, the one that looms over him.

It’s not just a crush anymore. He could try to deny it, but he thinks that would summon unwanted attention. So he accepts it, accepts that he is… he’d say infatuated, but infatuated isn’t the right word. Infatuated doesn’t even begin to cover what he feels when he looks at Logan, doesn’t cover the way his heart races and his words trip over themselves and the way he longs for his approval. It doesn’t cover the way he knows so many little details about him, like the way Logan pushes at his glasses or fiddles with his tie when he’s nervous or upset, or the exact way his lips curl around the edges when he’s pleased and trying not to show it. So many little details, none of which would be on his radar at all if he wasn’t—

Well. He won’t deny it. But he doesn’t particularly see the need to voice it, either.

After all, it’s not like it changes anything. Or at least, it shouldn’t. He wasn’t planning on sharing his feelings when they were a simple crush, and he’s certainly not going to share them now that there’s more.

Except, nothing is ever that simple,

(Nothing ever can be, with him. It’s what he does best, turning easy things into overcomplicated messes because he can’t let go of all the what ifs—)

because suddenly, he’s welcome to spend time with the others. Is welcome at their table, is welcome in the commons, is welcome to join their movie nights and their game nights, and most of the time, he even feels mostly okay with doing so, because Patton is enthusiastic in his invitations, and he can tell that even Roman is honestly trying. And sometimes, it makes him want to cry, because this is all he’s ever wanted, to be one of them, and now he can and it’s almost too much.

The only problem with that is that he’s spending a lot more time around Logan.

Which is fine. Great, even.

Except, sometimes, Logan will do things. Little things, inconsequential things, but things that remind Virgil all too clearly of the feelings he keeps nestled under his heart.

For instance, Logan bites his lip a lot. When he’s working, when he’s watching movies, when he’s listening to the others, and sometimes for no reason at all. It’s a stupid thing to get caught up on, but he can’t help himself. And it’s not as if Virgil’s attraction to him begins or ends with the physical, but—

Whenever he does it, Virgil can’t stop his eyes from zeroing in on his lips. Can’t stop himself from thinking about how much he would like to kiss him.

He would like to kiss him a whole lot. And he’s fairly sure he’s being pretty obvious about it, but he can’t bring himself to stop.

So, really, he should have prepared himself for the possibility of being found out. Under any other circumstance, he would have, but there’s a saying, he thinks, about love and fools.

“Can I help you with something?” Logan says, and Virgil flinches violently, the rest of the world coming back into focus. He snaps his gaze up to meet Logan’s eyes, and the expression on his face might be amusement, maybe, but it could also be annoyance, and in fact, it’s probably definitely annoyance, because actually Logan is annoyed with Virgil and maybe even angry and now their budding friendship is completely ruined and all because Virgil doesn’t know better than to stare when he really shouldn’t be staring and—

No, stop. Stop. He’s not going to do that, not right now. He wrests his thoughts back under control with an effort.

Logan was working, typing away on his laptop, biting his lip as he concentrated. And Virgil just so happened to be out in the commons as well, in the perfect position to watch him and daydream, just a bit.

He needs to reply. He’s left it too long, and Logan’s eyebrows are inching up his face as he awaits a response. And the longer he takes to come up with something, the more suspicious Logan will be, so he should just shrug, mutter a denial, and pointedly turn his attention away. Something like that.

But it’s his job to make snap decisions under pressure. And sometimes those decisions aren’t the right ones.

So instead of taking another second to think things through and deflect Logan’s interest, his mouth opens ahead of his brain and says, “Can you please stop biting your lip?”

Logan stares. Virgil feels himself wilting.

“… It’s distracting,” he finishes weakly, and prays for the ground to swallow him whole. He can’t even manage to sink out

(because his mind is screaming at him now, screaming horrified recriminations, screaming all of the worst case scenarios, and it’s taking all of his concentration to breathe properly, much less get out of here)

because the sheer force of his embarrassment is leaving him paralyzed, curled up in his chair and with nowhere to go, nowhere to escape Logan’s widening eyes.

“Is it now,” Logan says, and he doesn’t sound particularly angry, but Virgil could very easily be wrong. Or, he could be angry and trying to hide it. Or maybe he’s not angry, but irritation would probably be just as bad, at this point.

“Sorry,” he mutters, hunching in on himself. “Nevermind, forget I said anything.”

“Virgil, you’re magnifying,” Logan says softly, and that softness is worse than any anger could be, because what if he’s figured it out? What if he pities him? Virgil would take just about anything over pity. “Whatever you think you just said, I assure you that it didn’t come off nearly as badly as you seem to believe.” He pauses, tilting his head. “Though, I can’t say I’m certain of what you meant, considering—”

He cuts off suddenly, and Virgil can practically see the cogs turning in his head. He should leave now, leave before Logan draws his conclusions, but he is frozen, powerless to do anything but let this train wreck happen in real time.

“I wouldn’t ordinarily consider biting my lip to be a disruptive habit,” Logan says slowly. “It makes no noise and does no one any harm, and it’s not something I would think affects anyone else. But you were staring, which means there is something about the habit that draws your attention. I can only think of a few reasons for that.”

He takes it back. Pity would be far better than this, than this slow and measured reasoning, drawing out all of Virgil’s best-kept secrets, spiraling toward a conclusion that he never wanted anyone to know, much less Logan himself.

Perhaps that is why he says what he says. Because with this, Logan is only prolonging the inevitable, and it’s torture.

It’s like a band-aid. The biggest band-aid ever, maybe, covering one of the worst wounds of his life, but a band-aid. And it’s coming off one way or another, so he might as well rip it off now and brace himself for the sting.

“Oh my god,” he says. “It makes me want to kiss you. That’s why it’s distracting. And I’m just gonna go die in a hole now, if that’s alright.”

His face is burning, mortification rising up in him like a tidal wave, threatening to swamp him. This is, possibly, the worst thing that has ever happened to him, ever.

(It’s not, of course, because anything and everything is better than it was before he was accepted, when he was on his own and so lonely and bitter all the time. But this comes close, he thinks. It’s a different kind of hurt altogether, but a hurt nonetheless.)

Logan sets his laptop down, giving him his full attention. For a moment, he is completely silent, and Virgil prepares himself to stand and sink out and into his room, where he will spend the next few weeks huddled under the covers on his bed with his headphones on blast, hating his life and himself for being such an idiot, because here he is, ruining one of the best friendships that he has ever known, and for what? Because he was too much of a moron to keep himself from staring, from forcing his unwanted attentions upon the one side who was more likely than any of the others to notice what he was doing? It’s pathetic, and stupid, and he knows it, and Logan knows it, and—

“I don’t see why you need to do that,” Logan says. His voice shakes, just slightly. “You could kiss me, if you wanted.”

Virgil stills. He can’t have heard that right.

Logan clears his throat. “That is to say, I would enjoy it, if you kissed me. If I’d realized you were interested, I would have broached the topic sooner.”

Hysterical laughter threatens to escape him, his brain dissolving into static, because what? And he knows he needs to say something, needs to respond, but his vocal cords refuse to work, so he’s left sitting there, staring, stricken dumb.

Logan glances away, something like uncertainty crossing his face. “I apologize,” he murmurs. “I’m not doing this right, am I?”

And that is what finally spurs Virgil to action, because Logan sounds so terribly dejected, and that is absolutely not allowed. Not when it’s Virgil that’s made such a mess of things, when none of it is Logan’s fault at all.

“Do you mean it?” he croaks.

Logan blinks, his expression clearing, and then landing on comprehension. His face softens, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he stands, crossing the floor and kneeling in front of where Virgil sits.

“Of course I do,” he says, and then reaches out with one hand, cupping Virgil’s cheek. Virgil’s breath catches, the contact shooting lightning across his face and down his spine. His heart starts beating faster, and he doesn’t know whether it’s fear or anticipation or some mixture of the two. Most of him still hasn’t processed that this is happening, hasn’t made the jump from Logan can never know about my feelings because he’ll reject me and then I’ll have no choice but to jump off a cliff to Logan knows about my feelings and he is doing the exact opposite of rejecting me hoooooly shit what do I do—

“I think about you often,” Logan says. “Ever since our first debate, if I’m being completely honest.”

Virgil blinks.

The laugh escapes him, then, but there’s not much hysteria in it. It’s something warm, now, something bright and colorful and blooming as he realizes just how much of an idiot he’s been, as his anxiety slowly begins to fade away,

(not completely, never completely, because he is who he is and that will never change, and his mind is already looking to the future, at all the fresh new opportunities he is going to have to screw this up, but for now, in this moment, he has Logan here in front of him, offering to kiss him, telling him that his feelings aren’t as one-sided as he convinced himself they had to be, and it’s very difficult to be negative at all, in the face of such a beautiful thing as this, as him)

morphing into something that he is tentatively willing to call hope.

“Yeah?” he says. “Me too.”

Before he can lose his nerve, he shifts position, leans down, and kisses Logan. Lightly, briefly, and it’s really more of a peck than anything else, but in the split second in which their lips meet, Virgil can feel just how soft Logan’s are, and when he pulls back, anxiously searching for a reaction, Logan’s cheeks are dusted with red.

“Yes, um,” Logan says. “That was… good. Would you like to do it again?”

A wave of fondness washes over him, and he lets it drag him away.

“You dork,” he says, and pecks him on the lips again. He doesn’t yet have to courage to try for more, but he thinks that might come with time. If he is allowed time, if he is allowed this, and he is not prone to optimism, but for once, he might be willing to give it a go.

Optimism, and whatever this is, new and exciting and budding between them. And there is a part of his mind that is screaming at him, insisting that he’s only going to hurt Logan or get hurt himself, and that no brief happiness could ever be worth that, but—

Logan’s lips are gentle and soft, and Logan is smiling at him, and that, he thinks, might be worth the world.

(“I would be extremely displeased if you died in a hole,” Logan informs him a bit later. “Please refrain from doing so.”

He agrees, if only because of that fact that if he died in a hole, he would never get to kiss Logan ever again. And now that he’s started, he doesn’t ever want to stop.

He is not one to believe in permanence. Or in happy endings. But just this once, he’ll try it, and trust that Logan will catch him if he falls.)

General Taglist: @just-perhaps @the-real-comically-insane @jerrysicle-tree @glitchybina @psodtqueer @mrbubbajones @snek-boii @severelylackinginquality @aceawkwardunicorn @gayerplease @elizabutgayer @dwbh888 @thatoneloudowl @sanderssides-angst @gayboopnoodle @wildfire5157 @a-ghostlight-for-roman @ldavmp4

#analogical #virgil sanders #ts virgil #logan sanders #ts logan #my fic #long post #cat does prompts #wisherbystarlight

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