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hisui-dreamer · 1 year

Text

never too late

Characters: Jade, Kalim, Idia, Malleus

Synopsis: You shared a night of passion with your lover before you left for the other side of the mirror, but fate's cruel hands strike once again as you realise you have to raise his child alone in your original world. Thankfully, your child is incredibly drawn to magic, and they opened a portal...?

Tags: slight angst, fluffy end because im a sap, fem reader, reader gives birth to a child, reunions, bot proofread

Word count: 4.1k+

Notes: same as the last two, all the name ideas are in japanese. if it makes you uncomfortable, you can imagine that reader is japanese

also wow classical music makes me so inspired i wrote so much

Part 1✧Part 2✧Part 4✧Masterlist

A few months passed as you settled back into your routine at home. Eventually, with the noticeable changes in your body, it dawned on you that you were with child—his child, your lover from the other side of the mirror whom you could no longer reach.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turn into months. You had adapted to the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Juggling the responsibilities of work, childcare, and household chores was no easy feat, but you found solace in the small moments of your child's growth and development.

Your child was a true joy to behold, a mirror image of their father in many ways, and you often see the ghost of your past lover in them. Having inherited his magic, your child experimented with their powers, leaving you to support them with what limited knowledge of magic that remained from your NRC days.

On one such experiment, your environment started to shift as a wave of magical energy engulfed you. When you opened your eyes again, he was there, right in front of you—

Miharu (翠晴) with 翠 meaning "green, emerald, jade" and 晴 meaning "clear, fine, serene"

your daughter has straight teal hair and slightly angular eyes that are a complete replica of her father's

the name you chose for her has a strong connection to jade, also representing the peacefulness you found in Jade's presence

she's a quiet child who always has this calm smile on her face

she's loves being independent and hates asking other people for help

there are some times when you have to hold her and tell her "hey, you can rely more on your mother you know?"

she doesn't look like she wants physical affection, but when she's accomplished something, you'll notice her staring at you in anticipation

when you reach your hand over to pat her head for a job well done, she smiles so contentedly and just melts at your affection

loves playing around with plants and fungi, and thankfully she's quite good at managing them, so sometimes you can save money on groceries

loves swimming in the ocean, but much prefers clinging onto you in the water

will turn to her eel form if in bodies of water for too long, so you're careful about what times or places have fewer people

incredibly intelligent and good at quick thinking, always curious to learn more about fungi, magic, etc.

seemingly calm when you told her about her intelligent and sly father, but soon after learning about him, she'll ask questions about him a lot and start practising magic more

and when she finally accomplishes teleporting you two to him, you're in a pantry that smells of fresh tea leaves, and he's looking as elegant and charming as ever as he pours water into the teapot, his hair is sleeked back and the grace exudes just puts you in a trance

Jade's eyes widen as he beheld a sight that only seemed possible in his wildest dreams. There, standing before him, was the person he had loved so deeply and had thought lost forever.

"My love... is it really you?" Jade whispers, his voice quivering with a mix of disbelief and hope. His heart thuds in his chest, the sound reverberating through his entire being.

Tears glisten in the corners of his eyes as he closes the distance between you, his steps quickening with a sense of urgency. He envelops you in a tight embrace, his arms holding you firmly, afraid you might disappear once more. "Oh my pearl, how I longed to turn back time and not have let you go, to have kept you here with me," he whispers hoarsely, his voice trembling with a mixture of joy and sadness.

Jade is showing more emotion than you've ever seen and you're both crying and holding each other tightly

eventually, floyd barges in to tell Jade azul's complaint about how long he's taken to make the long-forgotten tea

when floyd sees you, he immediately tries to come over and squeeze you

but Jade is having his moment so he lifts you and keeps you away from floyd's grasp

pouting, instead floyd diverts his attention to Miharu, who's just curiously staring at him

eventually eventually azul shows up to see why everyone has disappeared and he's incredibly surprised to see you two

he complains that Jade will be busy for a while then, but you can see his eyes are teary and there's a soft smile on his face

for quite some time, Jade is incredibly alert when it comes to you, always paying attention to your needs, your feelings, and if you get up in the middle of the night for a bathroom break, he wakes up with you and waits outside the door until he can hold you again, and then he'll carry you back to bed

he didn't realise how important you had meant to him until you were gone, how lost and empty he felt, so best beware, he's never letting you go again

oh he's so cute with Miharu!!! building terrariums together and comparing notes and cooking mushroom meals together

father-daughter swimming sessions!!! sometimes floyd and azul join

definitely pranks azul as a trio, but azul can't get mad at her hahaha

you can tell Miharu is so enthusiastic about spending time with uncle floyd

Jade cries crocodile tears that his dearest daughter prefers his brother over him

and Miharu just tells him "well you belong to mommy, so i'll have uncle floyd"

the twin eels can't say they're unhappy with that arrangement, now can they

and don't forget mama and papa leech! they love spoiling Miharu with trinkets and treasures they find!

Jade's smiling genuinely more than ever, and you can't believe how lucky you are to have both him and Miharu in your arms

You direct your eyes towards Miharu, and his gaze follows yours, a tender smile tugging at the corners of Jade's lips. "And this... is she our child?" he asked, his voice filled with awe. He crouched down, his hands gently cupping her face, his fingertips tracing the familiar features.

"I'm so sorry," Jade confessed, his voice filled with raw emotion. "I've been such a terrible father, I've missed out on so much of your life,"

Miharu's hand instinctively rises to meet his, her small palm finding solace against his cheek. A gentle reassurance emanates from her touch, and her voice, soft yet resolute, pierces through his self-doubt. "It's okay, daddy," she murmurs. "It's not your fault.

Without hesitation, he pulls her into a warm and encompassing embrace, enfolding her in his arms as if shielding her from the world. "Oh, my darling, you are such an angel," Jade whispers against her ear.

Hidaka (陽夏) with 陽 meaning "sun, sunlight, positive" and 夏 meaning "summer"

your son has spiky white hair, glowing tan skin, and ruby-like eyes that often sparkle with joy

you named your son after his father's sunny disposition, and the warmth in scarabia that you look back on fondly in your memories with him

hoo boy you got yourself a piece of bouncing sunshine

he's so bright and happy and warm and there's always a wide smile on his face that makes anyone who sees it feel re-energised

will often do things on impulse out of pure curiosity, but if you tell him off he's immediately apologising and hoping you're not mad at him

snuggles so much!! the first thing he does when he sees you is run up and jump into your arms

he's always willing to share what he has with others, and is friendly with everyone

though he has a big appetite, he's not picky about food and will happily eat anything you give him

he's not the smartest and is rather oblivious much like his father, but he makes up for it with how passionate and motivated he can be

but when he's determined, he can be surprisingly smart

when he heard about the kind and brave man his father was, he was visibly shaking in excitement, firing question after question

and before long, his determination to reunite his family brought the two of you into a dim room lit by a single nightside lantern

Kalim sat at the bed clutching a turban you had gifted him, his face has matured and lost most of its baby fat

Kalim's lips are parted, his breath catching in his throat as he sits there, rooted to the spot. "This... this can't be real," he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper, as he takes a tentative step forward, his heart pounding loudly.

His feet move as if guided by unseen forces. His eyes fixate on your face, searching for any sign that this is not a figment of his imagination. A fragile smile begins to form on his lips, the corners of his mouth quivering with a mix of disbelief and joy.

His steps quicken, echoing through the room, each one carrying him closer to the person he thought he had lost forever. And then, in a burst of exhilaration, he is by your side, his arms encircling you with a strength born from the depths of his soul.

"It's you," Kalim gasps, his voice filled with raw emotion. His grip tightens, his embrace both gentle and fervent as he twirls you around in the air, a whirlwind of emotions propelling him forward. Laughter escapes his lips, an expression of pure elation and gratitude. "Thank the heavens you're back! I never thought I'd see you again!"

oh he's crying waterfalls nonstop, you and Hidaka try to comfort him and wipe his tears but he only cries harder at your touch

at this point, jamil bursts into the room,

alert and thoroughly confused why Kalim is crying in the middle of the night

though when he sees you, his expression visibly softens and after asking a few questions to confirm your identity, he genuinely welcomes you back

his reaction to Hidaka is "oh no another one" but with the way he lifts him into the air and the teasing smile on his face you can tell he's not completely serious

after graduation, Kalim worked hard to inherit the Asim family business and has grown to become a successful businessman who cares for his workers and people

jamil willingly offers to take over Kalim's role for a while so that he can spend time catching up with you two, and it's clear from their exchange their relationship has improved a lot

Kalim, despite having seemingly matured, clings onto you like a child and you feel things haven't changed much at all

as the heir, he has been pressured to get married, but it didn't feel right for him when he still longed for you

so he's incredibly glad you can now permanently be the person who stays by his side, showing his affection by showering you with gifts and snuggling with you any chance he gets

he's great with Hidaka too! they're both super energetic and curious though, so occasionally jamil or you have to step in and be the reasonable person

so many impromptu trips on the magic carpet with the three of you just exploring places and going wherever you want!

he's also very very cautious about your security, all of a sudden he has a wife and a healthy heir, so undoubtedly there are some eyes turned to you

but Kalim has grown stronger and wiser to be able to protect what he cherishes, so he's not letting any harm come your way

Kalim gently pulls back, his eyes flickering between you and the little boy who bore an undeniable resemblance to him. "You've brought us such an incredible gift," he whispers, his voice tinged with awe. "A child, our child. I can't believe it..." His voice trails off, trailing into a breathless hush as he tries to comprehend everything.

Bending down gracefully, Kalim positions himself at eye level with Hidaka. "Hello there, little one," he murmurs, his words floating on a cloud of softness. "I'm Kalim, your...dad." The weight of the word lingers on his tongue.

Hidaka's face lights up like a radiant sun, a beacon of pure joy. Without hesitation, he lunges forward, embracing Kalim in a tight hug. Laughter bubbles up from within him, filling the air with a melodic symphony. "My daddy!" he exclaims, his voice a chorus of excitement. "I've always wanted to meet you!"

Kalim's tears fall freely once again as he wraps his arms around Hidaka, holding him close.

Honoka (火華) with 火 meaning "fire" and 華 meaning "flower, splendour, brilliance"

your daughter had bright yellow eyes that seemed to shine in the dark, and seemingly normal curly blue hair, until it would act in a similar way to Idia's hair when she became emotional

you named your daughter after her father's fiery hair, his inner brilliance and potential, and of course, the idea of a flower blooming in the underworld (Persephone vibes hehe)

she's the child who's quiet and introverted on the outside, but has so much to say when she's alone with you

most of the time she's generally soft-spoken, mumbling and acting shy with strangers

but oh wait? there's a pop-up arcade of her favourite show??? gremlin child activated

ridiculously good at games, even if she just learnt the rules, it's very like she'll end up being the winner

you used to spend a lot of time styling her hair, but there were too many instances where soon after finishing styling, her emotions became too unstable and her hair turned into flames

still braidable, just not explainable to strangers

she's kinda like a cat in the sense that she'll act like she doesn't care or not want your touch, but when you pat her head or brush her hair, she just sits still and beams at your affection

definitely clings onto you when there are too many strangers and she's scared

ridiculously smart and good at math and technology, and she had no issues learning magical theory from you

when you told her about the brilliant but shy man her father was, she was dying to meet him when he sounded so similar to her

and after running some tests and calculations, she connected her magic to Idia and the next moment you know, you were in the Styx science lab, with Idia, his hair tied up, his eyebags worse than ever, standing right in front of you

Idia's heart skips a beat as he catches sight of your figure emerging from the radiant light, a surreal moment that defies all expectations. "OMG, it actually worked..." he exclaims, dropping his tablet to the floor, forgotten in his rush towards you.

With each stride, the weight of years apart seems to evaporate, replaced by a resplendent glimmer of hope that grows brighter with every passing moment. His palms grow clammy, but undeterred, he continues his determined approach, craving the warmth of your presence.

He finds himself standing in front of you, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The room seems to shrink, narrowing down to just the three of them, the air heavy with anticipation.

Idia's voice quivers, his words delicate as they tremble in the air, like a fragile melody woven with threads of longing and regret. "I...I can't believe it's really you. I've missed you so damn much." His voice cracks with emotion, his vulnerability laid bare as he reached out to hold you.

Idia's crying and Ortho's right next time him congratulating his success, though there's a loving and emotional tone to his robotic voice

he's holding you so tightly and crying and he just melts into your arms and warmth

soon after graduation, Idia began working more and more at styx to inherit the family business

but a side project of his for the longest time was opening a portal where you could go back and forth between two worlds

and miraculously, his system connected with Honoka's magic and you were back!

idia's incredibly nervous and surprised he has a daughter, and he has a mild panic attack before he's a bit more calmed down with your and Ortho's help

but once things have settled down a bit, you'll start living comfortably with your family in styx

though idia may be busy at times, he always has ortho with you or some cameras near you so you won't suddenly disappear on him

you're basically irreversibly a part of the shroud family now, and in his mind, you really didn't get to choose

his anxiety about you leaving keeps him up at night, but when he wakes up from nightmares and you're the first thing he sees, he slowly calms down and curls his body into you to feel more of your warmth

gaming sessions with Honoka!! he introduces all sorts of his favourite games to her, though you make sure they're not too violent and inappropriate knowing him, and they bond over playing and introducing games to each other

family game nights with you four playing basically Mario party or co-op games!!

and though Idia's still working on breaking the family curse, even more motivated now because he doesn't want it affecting Honoka, he's so grateful fate has finally given him this happiness, to be able to live together as a family with his most cherished people

Trembling with a mix of excitement and trepidation, Idia knelt down to meet Honoka at eye level, his voice filled with a gentle warmth. "Hey there, kiddo. It's... it's really nice to finally meet you." His words carried a hint of awe, as if he couldn't quite believe that this precious little being was a part of him.

Honoka's eyes sparkled with a mixture of curiosity and recognition, her small hand reaching out to touch his hair. She uttered her first words, a tender melody that danced in the air. "You have the same hair as me... Daddy?" she asked curiously.

Tears welled up in Idia's eyes as he comprehended her words, a tender smile graced his lips. His voice choked with love and gratitude. "Yeah kid, I'm your daddy." He pulls her into a hug, "Let's play lots of games together, yeah?"

Keitarou (蛍太郎) with 火 meaning "firefly" and 華 meaning "eldest son"

your son has black hair that fades at the tips to a blue reminiscent of the sky right before sunrise, and shimmering emerald eyes with a reptile-like slit in them

you named your son after the night you first met his father who manifested as fireflies, and a reference to the nickname you chose to call him

your son is very polite to strangers, but he struggles with getting along with his peers

he'd love to make friends, but his aura comes off as overwhelming to other people, so unfortunately he does feel a bit lonely

but he loves it when he's at home with you, when you shower all of your affection onto him and he feels so loved and cherished

he loves his mama so much he always wants to help you with chores and whatnot, but unfortunately he can be rather clumsy and oblivious which leads to more problems being made

but in those situations, you always show him the correct way of doing things, while also reassuring him it's okay he made mistakes, what's important is learning from them

super clingy and cuddly! sometimes he becomes territorial and his dragon tail appears and curls itself around your limbs

you have masterfully disguised his budding horns by wrapping his hair around them, explaining to others than he liked this Halloween costume so much he wanted it done everyday

being half fae, he's incredibly talented at magic and it really does come as second nature to him

when you told him about his charming yet fearsome father, he was really curious about this figure, but also a part of him wondered why his wonderful mama would choose someone like him?

well, mama seems to miss him a lot, and Keitarou loves nothing more than seeing you happy, and all of a sudden, you're standing in the throne room or the dark gothic castle, and right across the room was the King of Briar Valley, his expression stone cold and cautious until he met you eyes

Silver and Sebek, positioned in a defensive stance, braced themselves for whatever entity would emerge from the swirling portal. As the portal dissipated, revealing the figure within, Malleus gasped, his breath catching in his throat. A surge of emotions overwhelmed him, an electric current coursing through his veins.

His steps quickened, propelled by an overwhelming desire to bridge the chasm of time and distance that had separated you for far too long. The distance between you closed swiftly, his graceful stride carrying him closer to the embodiment of his deepest longing. The words that slipped from his lips were laden with a tenderness and longing that only you could evoke.

"My dearest Child of Man, is it truly you?" Malleus murmured, his voice a fragile whisper, as if afraid to shatter the fragile reality that had materialized before him. His outstretched hands trembled, yearning to cradle you once more, to feel the warmth of your presence.

A mixture of awe and reverence coated his words as he continued, his voice barely audible but drenched in profound emotion. "You came back. It's been so long, far too long..." His voice trailed off, swallowed by the weight of the years that had separated you.

he's so shaken the rain has cleared up to bring about a beautiful rainbow that hovered over the castle

silver and sebek go to get lilia, and it's a heartfelt family reunion

they've all seen how Malleus has returned back to his hollow shell of existence after you left, and they're so glad his eyes are glimmering with emotions once again

though some are more direct about it, and others felt the need to rant about how cruel it was to leave them (we love you sebek)

though he's been urged by his advisors to quickly marry and start producing an heir, he's adamantly refused because he firmly believed nobody would ever make him feel the same way you did

there are some advisors who are secretly unhappy with the fact that the queen is human and the new heir is half-human, but nobody would dare say a word when they see the Malleus Draconia act like an oversized puppy dog with his head in your lap

plus, Keitarou magical prowess and intelligence easily put them in their place

Malleus, with your return, has grown more openly dramatic and affectionate

for example, if you mention you like a certain flower, the next day the entire garden is replanted to that exact flower

do calm him down a bit so he won't be too extra with his love language

Keitarou and Malleus sort of have this rivalry between the two of them to get the most of your affections

but they do eventually reach a truce when they both agree you're the most important thing in the world

but you know, general lighthearted sabotage on both ends, Keitarou wants to sleep with his mama, so papa can sleep alone yeah?

no it ends up with the entire family sleeping together and you're sandwiched in the middle

well, at least it's a happy family of two possessive dragons and possibly a baby princess coming on the way?

Keitarou hid behind your legs, his small frame peeking out to catch glimpses of the man standing before you.

"Hm? Is he... our child?" His voice carried a soft tremor, as if he dared not let himself believe in the possibility. But your nod, filled with affirmation and a love that transcended time, set loose a cascade of emotions within him. A serene smile graced his features, radiating warmth and a profound sense of peace.

Malleus turned towards Keitarou, his eyes tender and gentle, a wellspring of paternal affection flowing freely. "Hello, young one," he began, his words carrying a weight of significance that only a father's voice could hold. "I am your father, and it is a pleasure to meet you."

Keitarou's wide eyes glistened with a mix of wonder and cautious hope as he listened to Malleus's gentle words. "Hello," he murmured, his voice filled with a blend of innocence and an innate longing for connection. "I... I'm Keitarou," he continued, his voice wavering slightly but growing stronger with each syllable. "It's... it's nice to meet you, Father."

Malleus's smile widened, mirroring the joy and relief that flooded his own heart. With open arms, he enveloped Keitarou in a warm embrace.

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

Part 1✧Part 2✧Part 4✧Masterlist

#twstnexus #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst wonderland #jade leech x reader #jade leech #twisted wonderland jade #kalim al asim #kalim al asim x reader #twisted wonderland kalim #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #twisted wonderland idia #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #twisted wonderland malleus

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jxckchxmpi0n · 3 months

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BOXER ETHAN HEADCANNONS

This has been on my mind for so long. Shoutout to the people who gave me some ideas 🙌 sorry for being short. I couldn't think of any [plus it's late and I haven't posted anything in a few days]

Mentions of NSFW | m.list

Ethan found an interest in boxing the year before he met you. He didn't mention that much, but when you came over to his dorm, you found his gloves and became obsessed.

He always has bruises on his knuckles.

Sometimes, if he's having a rough day and you haven't heard from him, usually due to arguments with his dad, you'll always find him at the rink.

The first time you visited him, he was fighting with another boxer. You sat at a bench watching him. Seeing him move so quickly was so mesmerizing.

On days he loses his matches, he will come back to his or your apartment so frustrated. You would help him out by making him feel good, but it was never enough.

He would then just become a different person and take his frustration out on you, but still be very sweet about it. "Fuck, baby making me feel so good. Taking me so well, look at you. You like it when I'm this, don't you?"

Everynow and then his walls would slowly have new posters to hide the fact that he punched some holes in them.

When you hang out, he will do his workout sometimes, and afterward, his hair will be sticking to his forehead. He'd be out of breath and sweaty. You never mind that look on him, though.

Once he's done with his workout, he would stand in front of the mirror and flex. Then, he would run to you and flex so you could touch his muscles. He always gets excited when he sees improvement.

"Do you feel that?"

"I do! Wow, look at you!"

One day, he forgot his water bottle at your apartment, so he asked you to bring it by. He was already in the rink, all sweaty and punching at his opponent. After his match, when he saw you, his face would light up.

"There you are, baby," he would then kiss you very passionately, not caring if the other saw.

Sometimes, when you're making food, he will just stand there and fake punch at you, and sometimes he really will punch you but not forceful. It would be the lightest tap ever.

You would ask about boxing all the time, which led him to show you some moves. He couldn't help himself in the end, but seeing you all serious and doing something he loves just turned him on.

After tournaments, you would wait for him to take a shower. The others would be gone by now, so you waited in the lobby. But you noticed a text from him asking you to come to the locker rooms.

He would then convince you to have a quicky. "That's it baby, fuck you feel so good"

Sometimes, when he's bored, he will sit there and just punch at your legs. Not hard or anything, just tap them mainly and make sound affects. "Psh boom pow bam psh"

On bad days, you would have to patch him up. His dad would get into his head, which made him doubt himself in boxing. "I know your dad says shit all the time, and he's wrong every single time. Do what you love! Don't listen to him, even if that means cutting him out of your life. If boxing makes you happy, do it!"

You would have so many first aid kit supplies, mainly for his knuckles, because he would split them so often.

Manz treats you so well!!

He will spoil the shit out of you! When winning matches, he always wins some cash, and more than half always goes to you!

He has this routine before a match, and if he doesn't kiss you, he believes he doesn't have good luck.

If he hadn't gotten a hair cut in a while and his hair was grown out, he'll let you braid his hair before he went to the gym.

#jack champion #ethan landry #scream vi #ethan landry imagine #jack champion x reader #ethan landry x reader #spider avatar #jack champion imagine #ghost face x reader #ethan landry x you #ethan landry smut #jack champion is all i think about #jack champion fluff #jack champion fanfic #avatar spider #avatar #avatar way of water #avatar the way of water

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honestlywtf04 · 1 year

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can you make a vinnie smut where they were fucking and someone’s ex would caught them and vinnie would just fuck her harder 🙈 OH AND have reader(she/her) do those pornography moans or maybe just those moans where you could clear hear her liking everything bit of the experience HAHAHHAHAH THANK YOU AND I LOVE YAH!! 🫶

𝐈'𝐦 𝐇𝐞𝐫

warning: nsfw!, praising kink, exhibitionism, lmk if i missed any.

a/n: thank you for the request! sorry for taking too long. i love you too! 😚🫶

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all you want is to turn your head to watch his face distorted in pleasure, but he's the reason that you can't do that. his hand is above your head pushing it down as he thrusts into you slowly, making sure you feel everything, every inch, every vein.

"vinnie- i want you," you manage to say without thinking. your body shudders, goosebumps overtake your upper body.

"pretty girl- you have me, inside you. what else do you want," he grunts which causes you to moan softly. everything about what's happening is erotic, never in your life has anyone made you feel so... wow.

he removes his hand and leans down, lowering your hips so your entire body is laid flat on the bed. your eyes close once you feel him breathing heavily against your ear. never stopping his movements.

"you feel so good baby," he moans quietly. your pussy tightens around him and you hear him laugh softly. "do you like being praised pretty?"

dirty sounds start spilling out of your mouth when he starts thrusting faster and faster. "i love being inside you, no one has ever made me feel the way you do," you are taken back from his sudden burst of confidence. not realizing that the man whom is currently drilling into you, is staring deep into the eyes of his former lover.

you open your eyes and look to your left to see who he was staring at. she looks at you with envy in her eyes, wishing she was you, wishing the man on top of you was doing that to her. but he's not. vinnie makes eye contact with you and smirks.

you quickly switch places with him. you lift your hips up and lower them at a pace that you know he loves. his ex-girlfriend watches his hands go to your back, pushing you down so you're laying on him. she watches the scene continue, paying attention to his hands that go low, and low, and low, until they are groping your ass.

he grabs onto your ass and starts moving his hips up and down, pride filling him up when he hears your beautiful sounds pour out of your mouth.

"fuck vinnie," you moan in his ear which causes his eyes to roll back. you hear him mumble something to himself.

he squeezes your bottom and thrusts even faster than before. your mouth hangs open as pleasure fills your body. dirty sounds- that sound like a classical melody to him- echo around the room.

you open your eyes and look down at man under you, seeing his face focused down to where the both of you are intimately connected. your hand moves to his cheek making him look at you, his face going red from pleasure and shyness.

you kiss him passionately and he immediately returns it. you moan into the kiss as you hear someone walk away a little too loudly which only makes the both of you laugh softly.

he lifts his head to kiss you again, in which you happily respond. "i'ma cum sweetheart, take it please."

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#vinnie hacker #vinnie #vhackerr #vinnie imagines #vinnie fanfic #vinnie x reader #vinnie hacker smut #vinnie x y/n #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker one shot #vincent hacker #vinniehacker #vinnie smut

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dr-solomon · 6 days

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(🔞) — "you can only touch me when the music stops."

w: bf!gyu × fem!reader, unprotected sex, pussy eating/slapping, dirty talk, little mutual seductive games?shows? (wildness wildness wildness wildness)

You had been busy all week, so when the weekend came, the excitement of having a chance to spend time with each other made you both silly.

This time Beomgyu was at your house and you realized once again that the house was really empty without him today.

You could have chatted in your bedroom until dawn. It was probably your favorite thing. Both of you would take turns talking about your week; Beomgyu's tragic events with his boss, or your annoying teachers were the most viral topics of your nightly chats.

For you, talking only under the moonlight and the led lights made this activity extra special.

That's why tonight you were sitting in your bedroom, which you had decorated together.

But tonight, something was different.

"Hey, is your alarm going off?" Beomgyu was the first to hear the strange sound coming from under the covers.

"Oh, yeah." You hurriedly found your phone and stopped the stupid sound.

Annoying music is always ideal for alarms.

You smiled at Beomgyu. "I forgot to turn it off." And he smiled back. "My love, are you setting an alarm for this time?" It was funny to him because he had never seen you set an alarm for the night before.

"Yeah, it's just a new way of getting to bed early." you laughed to yourself. "I'm too stubborn to ignore alarms."

"Yeah, I've noticed." He always hid something in that smile. "That's because you're so used to it that instead of turning it off again, you snoozed."

"Oh?" A real laugh this time. "God, I've been so stupid for the last week."

He looked at you as if to say you were cute instead of stupid. You reached for the bedside drawer with the phone in your hand but he stopped you.

"You're gonna cancel the alarm?"

"Yes."

"How many times does the alarm go off before it automatically goes off?"

"Um... I think it's 7?"

"So it's gonna go off 6 more times?"

"Mhm."

"Okay, so how many minutes does the snooze last?"

"Five."

"Good."

"What's on your mind?"

You smiled together, his was much dirtier. "Do you wanna play a game?"

"What kind of game?" asked curiously.

"It's like..." he licked his bottom lip. "Only when the alarm stops going off, you can touch me" whispered. "And I'll touch you."

"Wow."

Your body warmed up to what he was offering you, his little games and his cheekiness.

You realized that the game he was talking about would give you both heaven and hell, he let you think about it. He always liked to start fires.

You crawled towards him, he watched you curiously. Seeing in his eyes the endless desire he had for you. The only good thing about all those stupid days and weeks was that Choi Beomgyu belonged to you.

“I think the second alarm is less than 5 minutes away.” you whispered. Your foreheads touched, fortunately you liked playing with fire as much as he did.

His smile slowly left his face during the whole conversation. He put his hand on your cheek and joined your lips passionately. Your hair caressed his face, your bangs tangled. You listened to the wet sounds of your slow and warm kiss. And his humming.

Sounds were Beomgyu's weak point, he always went wild to hear more.

He bit your lower lip “Come here.” grabbed your hips and helped you sit on his lap.

This time he pressed your tongues together before your lips and you knew he wasn't closing his eyes. His hand moved down into your shorts and touched your bare cheeks. His palm was warm.

Your teeth touched his upper lip. Beomgyu opened his mouth and closed his eyes, letting you bite him as much as you wanted.

You squeezed his hair at the nape of his neck as his right hand slipped between your thighs and reached your pussy. He pressed his middle and ring finger against your hole through the panties and not even a few seconds into feeling that sweet pressure, the annoying sound was heard.

Second alert.

Beomgyu slowly pulled his hand out of your shorts and your whole body trembled with disappointment. You took your hands off him and got off his lap, reached for your phone and snoozed the alarm.

Beomgyu's cheeks were pink, he didn't like the space in his lap, but there was still a smile on his lips. “Do you like it?”

You leaned your back against the headboard and hugged your legs. You watched as he put his fingers to his lips, wet from having just touched your panties.

His cat tongue appeared between his lips, wiped his middle and ring finger nicely and went back inside.

My god. You gulped, looking like he was waiting for an answer to his question.

Really? He followed curiously as your hands moved down to your shorts. You locked your eyes on his as you slowly removed the soft fabric from your legs.

Beomgyu pressed his lips together and immediately looked into your eyes after your shorts fell to the floor. He wasn't smiling anymore, he was just there looking at you with his messy hair and going a little insane.

His eyes widened when your hand went to your hips again. “No.” Beomgyu growled. But what could stop you?

“Y/n...” He watched with his open mouth as your thin black underwear made its slow journey down your legs. Your t-shirt covered your thighs and you licked your lips, ending the show you were putting on for him.

You were happy to do such a good job while wanting his hands all over you. Beomgyu pressed his hand to the bulge in his pants and backed up a little. Cursing silently, closed his eyes and threw his head back.

By now your hands were sweaty and your t-shirt was a rag in your palms, you bit your lower lip excitedly. The sound of your phone letting you know that the stupid time you'd been trying to count in your head over and over again had come to an end.

And God knows, it was the first time you liked that brain-piercing sound so much.

Third alarm.

Beomgyu didn't even let you move. When he was on top of you with a speed you had never seen before, you squeezed his shoulders impatiently, but he wasn't thinking the same thing.

He pulled you down and holding your knees, spread your legs and buried his face in your pussy.

“Oh my-” at the end of a hellish five minutes, you regained the warm sensation of his mouth.

“B-beomgyu...” grabbed his hair. He repeatedly opened and closed his mouth over your hole as if his life depended on it.

He was squeezing and lifting your hips and making you settle better in his mouth, he was the best at it.

“Mmm” All those sounds he was making from you as your juices mixed with his saliva, almost making him cum too.

He parted your lips with his fingers and stubbornly pressed his tongue deep inside you. Just like he needed it more than you did.

He lifted his head and watched you drip a little more intensely and looked at that wonderful expression on your face. With his right hand he slapped your pleasure spot hard, “Ah!” that made you squirt a little. That's exactly why you felt you couldn't take it anymore when he landed the second slap harder. “Beomgyu, no-” you didn't want to cum right away but you wanted him to make you squirt like crazy.

You got up on your elbows, Beomgyu stuck his tongue out, looking into your eyes as his mouth covered all over your pussy again.

Well, you wouldn't mind coming more than once tonight, would you?

Just as your stomach is trembling with pleasure and you feel one step closer to the high...

Fourth alarm.

"Fuck! Fuck..." you turned toward the phone and snoozed the alarm with a tap, almost as if you wanted to break it.

The sensation of his mouth disappeared. Beomgyu is a total stunner with a dripping chin, teary eyes and red lips.

He put his hands in his messy hair, combed it back and returned to a sitting position on the bed. You could see him panting with rage, pulled his shirt off and threw it on the floor.

It was his idea and you were having fun, but now you can see he hates himself.

As you sat up, Beomgyu turned his head towards you and watched your glistening thighs. His art.

You didn't feel the need to fix your messy hair like he did, just leaned your head back and sighed as your pussy throbbed like crazy.

You took turns looking at his thin bracelet, his hair tucked behind his ear, his naked upper body and the triangle in his pants.

"I hate myself." Beomgyu laughed and made you laugh too. Both laughed at what a sucker you were to each other.

You touched the hair clinging to your neck, only your breathing could be heard in the room. You had never been eaten so savagely by Beomgyu before.

"You're gonna take that off too?" he taunted, knew there was nothing under your shirt. His hand settled on his belt, it was obvious he wished for nothing more than to see you naked. And that you didn't like the space between your legs.

"No." you replied, "This is for you."

Beomgyu laughed, you could see what you had done to his cheeks.

You watched him unbuckle his belt, he didn't just throw it on the floor, he ran his fingers over its surface.

The few scenarios in which he used it on you unfolded as if they had always been there. Pressed your knees together, your vagina, sensitive as hell, made a wet sound and that made Beomgyu turn to you.

You've never seen his eyes so dark before: "Can you do it again?"

The voices...

Swallowed, his eyes were on your knees and thighs, everywhere. Slowly spread your legs and... 'Pop!'

He watched all over your vagina, which was soaked thanks to him, getting a little closer. "You're a fucking goddess." His breath hit your pussy, your eyes watered with desire. "Beomgyu..."

Eyes met, you felt your nipples itch as he smiled at the needy expression on your face.

He stepped back, dropped the belt he was holding and continued to watch you, that smile still on his face. "Your pussy has never tasted anything like this before, has it darling?" licked his lips, looking quite delighted. "Even if I let you sit on my face all night, you wouldn't get tired of dripping, right?"

"Beomgyu-" his dirty words coming out of his still glistening chin made you drip some more on your sheet, you pulled your legs towards you and hid.

"Ahah," Beomgyu laughed, looking down at your writhing body with pleasure. "Even if the fucking alarm doesn't go off, I can make you cum with my words."

You pressed your face into the pillow, Beomgyu followed your movements, wishing he was right behind you now. "You're such a good girl."

Guessed he was pressed against his cock again.

Fifth alarm.

You lifted your face and threw the pillow on the floor, Beomgyu didn't let you break your prone position and settled on top of you. He lifted your hips up and stood behind you, just as he had just imagined.

When his penis finally touched your vagina, you gave him your most beautiful moan ever. Closed your eyes as Beomgyu slowly entered you. All his hardness expanded you, hitting your clit, sliding over your wetness, filling you mercilessly...

Your immediate grip and squeeze caused Beomgyu to fall onto your back. "Ah, ah..." You swallowed almost too well for him to move. He put his hands on top of yours, his hot breath coming in behind your ear. At this point you both forgot about your little game, there was only desire and passion.

Beomgyu introduced you to his fastest tempo, your bodies started pounding against each other. Both of you smeared all your wetness on each other.

Beomgyu was trapped between your walls, forgetting the whole world and making you forget the whole world.

The electric sensation in your stomach again, the sound of the alarm you heard along with Beomgyu's growl, could not be prevented this time.

He reached for your phone and, cursing, turned off the alarm, threw it hard onto the bed. You laughed at the sound the phone made as it slipped over the sheets and landed on the floor.

Eyes closed with passion, Beomgyu returned to rummaging through you. Faster, faster pace.

With great pleasure, your boyfriend broke his own game and made you cum all over him and came deep inside you.

He put his face to your neck, felt the last wave of pleasure as the sound of your breaths fought.

"C-condom-"

"Fuck the condoms."

The taste of fucking with him raw for the first time.*

Beomgyu wrapped his arms around your waist and made you lie on his chest as he lay on his back on the bed. He found your hands, which you made into fists, and took them in his palm.

You've watched the ceiling many times on this bed, but now enjoy watching it as you lie on top of him.

"Did your phone break?"

!! do not 'fuck' the condoms, USE the condoms🖖!!

©dr-solomon 2024

#txt smut #txt hard hours #tomorrow x together imagines #txt imagines #txt scenarios #choi beomgyu smut #beomgyu smut #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu scenarios #txt fanfic #tomorrow x together smut #choi beomgyu hard hours #beomgyu hard thoughts #beomgyu hard hours

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krashoutluv · 5 months

Note

GIVE US MORE ABOUT NSFW AL JAYYY PLSSS

HRHSJSGAHS OKOK!!

NSFW Arkham Knight / Ak!Jason Todd !! <3

detailed smut !!

(wet dream, praise, soft sex 2 somewhat rough sex, not super long, , im so obsessed with his brain)

rq are open :3

‘tis under the cut!! :p

M’SO EXCITED TO WRITE MORE ABT HIM M’SHAKING AND THROWIFN UP

NGL, i think one of the only reason he would come to terms with liking someone is bc he had a wet dream…

listen,, 99% of his dreams are nightmares, and you just changed his fuckin statistics for the possibility to the 1% chance of him coming in his sleep and being able to rest well after.

he has mixed feeling abt this..

on one hand hes like ‘wow cool i get to sleep well,’ but on the other hands hes like staring at his boxers and hes like ‘but at what cost…’

but oh,, he just knew he was fucked when it first happened and he woke up

after many , many years of overthinking, and his mind not being able to shut up … the thing that made his ass get so quiet was a fuckin’ wet dream

uuhhggrr it was such a good one tooo (hes internally cringing so hard)

ONE hand in his hair, softly rubbing his scalp, the other massaging his shoulder to the base of his neck. Jason has both hands on your hips. Being so gentle yet passionate with each thrust, fighting back the nastiest sounds begging to leave his mouth. So he starts kissing you, open mouth kissing your jaw to just between where your neck and shoulders connect. The noises you start letting out make his breathing stutter for a second. His kissing gets more passionate, soft sucking at your skin, and he’s feverishly rubbing and grabbing at your hips.

The wet sounds of him fucking you get louder. Poor guy is just barely stopping himself from rutting into you. His strokes were slowly getting more rapid but nonetheless coordinated, hitting that spot that had you loudest. Jason was marginally coherent but he’s still trying his hardest to make you feel good. Your body returning the favor by squeezing him so lovingly and he just cant fight back the soft gasps he lets out in between his strokes. The wet sounds, the lewd noises, the details of your body and skin he felt every time he pushed into you. All of this just because of him, just for him? You babble to him how good he was doing, murmuring how good it feels between moans, and it has him gripping your hips.

JASONS rocking himself roughly into you, but its that ever so loving hand, still gently massaging his neck and scalp. That sensation has his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Soft curses leaving his mouth. He buries his face right next to your head and has to grab the bed sheets just for an last attempt to stay composed. But the moaning gets louder, and you don’t stop gently massaging his hair.

So he can’t stop the “mmh, mmh, mmh” ‘s leaving his mouth with every rapid push of himself. He can’t stop the way his hands trail down to your legs to spread you wider for him. Grabbing at your thighs as he fucks himself through.

N’ just as he cums with a breathy gasp, his eyelashes are fluttering and eyes rolling to the back of his head. Letting his body weight press onto you and closing his eyes shut, trying to control his stammered breaths,,

he fuckin’ wakes up..!

First thought was “what the fuck.”

genuinely startled, he doesn’t freak out bad but he like slowly reaches to touch his pillow.

his mind was so blank, couldn’t tell if it was because of the wet spot on his sweatpants or he was genuinely so stunned.

*hes like scratching his head and looking at his pants.*

hes goes to take a shower and his eyes are so blown out he looks like one of those cat memes

but his mind is soo quiet,,

in my brain at the very back of his mind he’s like ‘whys there so much of it.’ HSIGSISHSISHSIDHS HES COMPLETELY SERIOUS TOO???

he’s taking a shower and his brain, oddly, isn’t foggy, not dissociating, just feels so here.

which is horrible because that means he really has to directly face his feelings

KRILLING MYSELF WHY IS HEART TO HEART PLAYING WHILE I WRITE THIS???

heart to heart, heart to heart, heart to heart <3

Next time he sees you he feels so odd, he knows it a natural thing that can happen.. but it was so

djsksnkdnd

tingling under his skin sensation is yelling at him to leave, and he does.

hes cringing

he likes you…

he cringes harder

ghosts you for awhile

realistically doesn’t want anything like that to happen ANYTIME soon

but is it weird that he kinda wants it to happen at all?

MENTAL GYMNASTICS COMMENCE !!

but when he stops ghosting you for awhile, and comes back to see you still being just as patient as you were every time you saw him before,

arms always open for him, food waiting for him, a sweet smile. and with your own patience, his own patience begins to thin.

Everytime he leaves you its a little harder for him to not come back

that tingly feeling under his skin slowly becomes a craving for just your presence. thats all he wants.

he doesn’t need to fuck you when he just has your eyes on him.

“what you run from is what you end up chasing.”

live footage of arkham knights brain cells falling for u insta reel

TEEHEE i loved writing this it was so fun, rq/inbox is open !! feedback is always appreciated >:3

#jason todd x reader #arkham knight smut #arkham knight x reader #arkham knight #red hood x reader #red hood smut #red hood #jason todd smut #jason todd headcanon #jason todd #jason peter todd

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asmosmainhoe · 5 months

Text

The reason and exact moment they fell in love Part 1

Notes: The others will follow!💞

Gender: neutral

Warnings: none

Masterlist

Lucifer -> you have his back

You: You should get some rest

Lucifer: I can't. There is still so much I have to prepare for the upcoming event. The entire elite will be there

You: Don't worry about that

Lucifer: How can I not? There is Diavolo's speech-

You: Already went through that with him

Lucifer: And the menu-

You: I got Barbatos and Luke to work together on that

Lucifer: But the live music-

You: Already booked

Lucifer: That's nice and all, but the decoration and seat arrangement

You: Asmo and I planned everything out regarding those two days ago

Lucifer:

You: Why are you staring at me like that?

Lucifer: Thank you

You: Wow, you really do need that break-

Mammon -> you trust him

You: Hey, Mammon! Can you hold onto something for me?

Mammon: What is it?

You: It's this ring. I want to wear it for the upcoming ball in the castle and I'm afraid I might lose it

Mammon: Why not buy another then?

You: Oh, it's not that simple you see. It belonged to something very dear to me and there isn't another ring out there that's like this one

Levi: Mammon is the wrong person for that. He's gonna sell it off the first opportunity he gets

Mammon: Listen-

You: Actually the reason why I'm going to him is, because I trust him the most. I know he will take good care of it for me- Mammon, are you crying?

Mammon: No! I'm allergic!

Leviathan -> you don't judge him

Demon #1: Isn't Leviathan's obsession with these figurines kinda stupid?

Demon #2: Yea. I heard that he spends all his money on merch and even waits until the exact moment it drops. What a weirdo

Levi: *overhears this*

You: *walk up yo him*

You: Hey! Satan told me you got that limited edition manga you've been so excited for

Levi: Why do you wanna know? Did you come here to mock me?

You: No, why would I even do that?

Levi: People talk you know...they think I'm weird and they're probably right too

You: I don't think it's weird to be passionate about stuff. I actually love listening to you talk about it

Levi: You're just saying that to make me feel better

You: Absolutely not! Remember the other day where you told me about this anime with the guy who talks to vegetables? The story itself bored me so much that I wanted to fall asleep

Levi: I don't see how-

You: But you made it sound so exciting! You really hyped me up for a guy who talks to vegetables! Your passion is rubbing off on me no matter what it is about and I'd hate for that light in your eyes to vanish

Levi:

You: You okay?

Levi:

You: Levi?

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me mc #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me luci x reader #obey me luci #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan #obey me levi x reader #obey me levi #obey me leviathan x reader

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themultifanshipper · 12 days

Note

..................reader riding logan soft and slow after miami, leaning down and kissing all over his neck, whispering gentle praises and "you did all you could"s and "it wasn't your fault"s and "i'm proud of you no matter what"s while his hands cant stop scrambling wherever they can reach- reader's shoulders, hips, ass, chest, waist, arms, anything he can hold on to because he's just so overwhelmed with how good it feels.

eventually it ends with him almost choking on reader's fingers, spit and tears mixing on his tongue and sobbing heavily after reader removes their fingers, saying "i did well, i believe you" when he finally, finally cums and it's one of those slow and smooth ones that just never seem to end and it's all soft and vanillay UGH i can't get over this. i thought of it on a high-speed train through korea (seoul to busan) and i didn't have service but WOOOOO i'm doing great

(can u tell i'm ovulating)

I'm ovulating too and this just ... wow kill me softly why don't you

Shoving your fingers into his mouth just to stop him trying to argue with what you're saying, and eventually his drool is dripping down his chin, over his abs, down to where you're joined, easing the slide even more.

You're splitting yourself on his cock as he struggles to not thrust up into you, using him as you please to punish him for saying negative things about himself.

In fact, whenever he gets close to coming, you pull off, making him wail around your fingers, tears streaming down his cheeks. You're not letting him come until he repeats the sentences you said to him back to you.

You take your fingers out of his mouth for the 3rd time now "Well? Anything to say to me?"

He shakes his head as you tut disapprovingly, seating yourself back on him, but not moving. "I've already come twice my love, I'm satisfied. I'm not letting you come until you've done what I asked, and if you don't want to I guess can just walk right out of here." You clench around him to emphasise your point and he whimpers.

"I did all I could-" he manages to choke out after a while "It- it wasn't my fault".

You hum in encouragement and start rocking your hips again, slowly.

"I did well...I-" he stops, the last part always the hardest to say for him.

You grab his face, forcing him to look at you, thumbs wiping at his tear stained cheeks. "Go on baby, say it, I know you can"

He surrenders completely at your touch "I'm proud of myself"

You smile and kiss him softly.

"Again" you order and he squirms as he repeats the words again under your heated gaze. You make him repeat them once more after that, rythm of your hips never faltering, until he finally starts sounding like he believes what he's saying.

You kiss him passionately and you pick up the pace, his hands grabbing onto the meat of your hips as you trail kisses over his face and neck. "Good boy, you can come inside now baby, I'm so proud of you"

He groans at that, and grabs your waist to start pounding into you from below.

"I'm so close!" He whines.

"I know, baby, let go for me, I've got you"

And he comes inside you with a noise somewhere between a sob and a wail as he wraps his arms around you and buries his face in the crook of your neck.

This is the best way to make him decompress after a bad race (and he has a lot of them at the moment) and you're only happy to embark on the long and hard journey that is making Logan Sargeant believe in himself again.

Logiiiiiie, this hit me in feels ngl I'm terrified about his future, and now I learn they're giving Kimi Antonelli dispensation to drive... truly cogs in a fucked up machine

Anyway

#f1 #formula 1 #my thots #logan thots #logan sargeant #ls2 #logan sargeant smut #logan sargeant x reader #gn reader

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pucksandpower · 1 year

Note

Can I request a Charles insta au where his gf receives hate from the fandom and Charles defending her <<3

Charles Leclerc x widow!Reader - Social Media AU

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc date night on the road ❤️

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yourusername so thankful i get to experience all of this with you

charles_leclerc i wouldn’t have it any other way

pierregasly wow just go ahead and crop us out i guess

carlossainz55 they were so caught up in each other i think they forgot that we joined them for dinner

gridgossip why is she private???

circlingthecircuit must have something to hide

leleleclerc or … she doesn’t want to sacrifice her privacy just because she’s dating an f1 driver

paddockgirlie awww they look so happy together

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourusername, arthur_leclerc, and 1,108,936 others

charles_leclerc my pianist in-training

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yourusername emphasis on in-training 🫣

charles_leclerc you weren’t that bad

yourusername don’t lie to me

charles_leclerc seriously, it was good for your first time learning to play

tifositalking in the words of avril lavigne: hey, hey, you, you, i don't like your girlfriend. no way, no way, i think you need a new one

ferrari4ever charles could do so much better than her!

leclercitup am i the only one who thinks they’re adorable?

feralforferrari me too! they genuinely look completely in love with each other

leclercalicious you deserve to be more than just a rebound for a gold digger

pierregasly

Liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 839,215 others

pierregasly no wonder charles actually let me drive without a fight today

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yourusername couldn’t help it. i had a comfy pillow

charles_leclerc and i had a personal space heater

luckyleclerc tell charles that she’s just using him

gridgossip seriously! how does charles not realize that she’s going to lead him on and then discard him just like she did her first husband?

totallytifosi you need to leave them alone. you know nothing about her or their relationship. stop blindly hating

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and 1,287,209 others

charles_leclerc an important note

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*comments on this post have been limited*

pierregasly no one should have to deal with this and especially not someone with a soul as kind as y/n’s

sebastianvettel so sorry to hear what y/n has been through. it can get very tough sometimes. we’re always here if you need to talk

carlossainz55 anyone who doesn’t like y/n is a horrible judge of character

yourusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, f1wagupdates, and 589,653 others

yourusername It has now been four years without you, my love. Your hoodies no longer smell like you no matter how long I refused to wash them. Your fingerprints on the mirror have been covered by dust. Sometimes I find myself forgetting what your voice sounded like and breaking down in the middle of work. Grief is a horrible thing. But you are permanently imprinted in my heart and my memories of you live on. I fight every day to keep them alive.

I met someone — his name is Charles. In many ways, he reminds me of you. You are both loyal and loving and so incredibly passionate. For the first time in years, I felt my heart come alive again. Charles understands how cruelly love can be snatched away from you. He understands the battle of trying to keep living while melancholy weighs you down. Alongside him, I learned that my heart has room enough for two incredible men and that I can love you both equally and in your own ways.

I know that this is what you would have wanted for me. I know that you’re smiling down on me right now. And it took me a long time to come to terms with it, but I know that it is okay for me to find love and happiness again. I have found it all with Charles. Time will keep passing us by but I promise that my love for you will never grow fainter.

To Ben, I will always love you. To Charles, I will love you just as faithfully until my own dying breath. To those who have supported me, you gave me a reason to keep living. To those who have misjudged and hated on me, I hope that going public with this will set the story straight and at the very least lead to me being treated with basic human decency. Thank you

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charles_leclerc so proud of you, mon amour. thank you for loving me and letting me love you

pierregasly one of the strongest people i know

arthur_leclerc charles has never been happier and anyone with eyes can see that

leclerc_pascale ❤️❤️❤️

carlossainz55 so much love to you both

landonorris i’m so sorry it came to this but we’re all behind you

georgerussell63 we always have your back

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bittenbyyou · 1 year

Text

Smitten

High School!AU | Peter Parker x Reader

genre: fluff

description: Just Peter Parker falling for you and coming up with the silliest plan to talk to you more.

word count: 1.8k

warnings: some Spider-Man Homecoming spoilers, Peter being a dork lol

a/n: Hello! This is my first time writing for Peter and I’m such nervous posting it, but I adore him and thought the origin story of how my bf and I got together suited Peter so well. Lol. So enjoy!

The first time Peter heard about you was in freshman year when you were ranked number one in academics, earning jealous stares from everyone. But not from him; he was rather impressed.

Sophomore year was when your name came up again through his ex-girlfriend, Liz. Turns out you were her partner for an English project, which he didn’t think much of. He was happy with Liz… until he defeated her dad, who turned out to be a villain called “The Vulture”, and she and her mom moved to Oregon afterwards…

Anyway, it was now junior year and for the first time ever, he had a class with you—good ol’ AP U.S. History.

“Dude, over here,” Ned called out from the first row of seats near the back corner. Peter smiled at his best friend and made his way over, taking the seat behind him.

“Hey Ned.”

“So glad we have another class together.”

“You said it.”

The two made small talk until you arrived, taking the seat next to Ned. He was mutual friends with a lot of your friends, so you felt comfortable sitting next to someone you were at least acquainted with rather than a stranger.

“Hi Ned,” you said sweetly.

“Oh [Y/N], you’re in this class too? Nice!” Ned gestured a hand towards Peter. “This is my best friend, Peter.”

“Peter… Parker, right?” you asked. Peter was surprised you knew his full name, but then remembered Liz. He nodded his head a few too many times, but you found it endearing.

“Y-Yeah. Hi.”

“Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m [Y/N].”

Wow. You were cute.

“Sup losers,” a deadpanned voice said from behind you. You turned around to see MJ, jumping out of your seat to give her a big hug.

“MJ! We’re in the same class, yay!”

“I know you’re not hugging me this early in the morning,” she said with her index finger raised.

“You know you love me.”

“Ew.”

She gave you two pats on the back and you let go, giggling at her expression of faux disgust. You returned to your seat, which was in the middle of MJ and Ned. MJ then quickly whipped her head around to look at Peter.

“Sup Parker,” MJ said with a salute of two fingers.

“Hey MJ.”

“You met [Y/N] yet?”

“Yeah, Ned introduced us… you know her too?”

“Met her in an elective. She looked lonely.”

“You make me sound like a loser with no friends,” you said, pouting your lips.

“I have no friends either.”

“You have me!” you chirped.

“And what about us?” Ned asked, gesturing back and forth to him and Peter.

“Whatever,” MJ brushed off. The three of you laughed while Peter watched, feeling somewhat left out even though he was mentioned.

“I’m a bit jealous. You all already know each other,” you said. Wow, you said exactly what he was thinking. They knew you, but he didn’t.

“Well the only person you don’t know is Peter and I only met him because of the decathlon. He’s really not all that interesting,” MJ said, smirking in his direction.

“Are you serious? Peter’s the coolest,” Ned said, hyping him up like a true best friend. “Peter knows Sp—”

“Dude!” Peter exclaimed, hinting at him to shut up with his deadly glare.

Ned chuckled nervously. “I mean… you’ll get to know him, [Y/N]. And he’ll get to know you.”

*Ding!*

Saved by the bell.

From that day on, the four of you grew closer. Group work was always in teams of four in that class which worked out perfectly. Peter quickly learned you hated presentations because you would freeze up and trip on your words, so he volunteered to present instead just to hear you thank him and flash that sweet smile.

At lunch, Ned always invited you and MJ to join him and that’s when Peter learned how passionate you were about food. Specifically the school’s chicken alfredo.

“It’s delicious!” you said, doing a little happy dance after eating a forkful of pasta.

“It’s gross, processed food. Do we even know if it’s chicken?” MJ asked, eyeing the meat on her fork suspiciously.

“I don’t care, I’m still eating it,” you said, enjoying the noms.

“Aren’t you lactose intolerant?” Ned asked.

“That’s not stopping me.”

“I’m lactose intolerant,” Peter said without thinking. Everyone stared at him with a variety of expressions. MJ was skeptical, Ned was confused, and you were surprised.

“I literally saw you eating ice cream yesterday,” MJ pointed out.

“And his bowels paid for it,” Ned lied. Peter let out a nervous laugh.

“Hah, yeah, I was on the toilet… for hours.” You placed a hand over your mouth, trying your best not to laugh. “But I’m fine now!”

“Are you sure you should be eating lunch today then?” you asked. “Wouldn’t want your bowels to hurt again. I’ll do the honors of reducing food waste and eat it for you.”

MJ and Ned stared at Peter. Well, MJ was daring him to eat it with her piercing eyes while Ned gave him a knowing look.

“You can have it,” Peter said warmly, sliding his tray of food over to you.

“Yay!” you cheered. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Because honestly seeing you eat and doing that happy dance again filled him up more than any food could. You were too cute.

Peter was sure of it. He definitely had a crush on you. It took him until almost the end of first semester to realize it, but he knew now.

He liked how smart you were. The way you answered any question the teacher threw at you so flawlessly was a mystery to him because history bored him.

He liked how funny you were. The way you were passionately defending why mayo was the superior condiment against MJ and her love for ketchup made him die of laughter.

He liked how kind you were. The way you helped another girl plan a dance for her quinceanera despite having so much homework.

He liked how cute you were. The way you fell asleep in class after being the first to finish your test.

He even liked how clueless you were. The way you knew absolutely nothing about Star Wars but still allowed him to ramble on and on about it in class and listen to him with a caring heart.

Yup. He definitely liked you.

A lot.

But he didn’t know how to tell you. You two didn’t hang out outside of school at all and he was so darn shy. It wasn’t until he and MJ hung out at Ned’s place one day when an opportunity arose. You were invited to his house as well, but you declined because of some projects you left till the last minute.

The trio were building Legos and at one point Ned had to go downstairs and help his lola cook dinner while MJ and Peter remained upstairs. She was sitting on Ned’s bed while Peter was on the floor continuing to build the Lego Death Star.

“I’m going to give you some advice, Pete,” MJ started to say. Peter looked up at her in confusion.

“About what?”

“About [Y/N].”

His eyes started to wander around the room. “W-What about [Y/N]?”

“What do you think about her?”

“What do I think a-about her? What’s not to think, she’s sweet. She’s nice. She’s kind.”

“Those are synonyms.”

“She’s smart. God, she is so smart, and she gets my jokes and actually laughs at them and—”

“Yup. You like her.”

His face fell. “No… No… No~.”

“So should I call her for you?” She whipped out her phone and Peter panicked.

“Don’t!”

“Why not? You have got to talk to her.”

“I do talk to her.”

“Outside of school,” MJ specified. “I have her number if you want it.”

“No, she’ll find it weird if I text her out of nowhere.”

“So you’re going to continue staring at her when she’s not looking like a total creep?”

“I don’t… I don’t stare,” Peter mumbled. MJ rolled her eyes at his denial.

“You do,” she teased. “Look, I’m going to the restroom. Here’s my phone. Do whatever you’d like with it.”

If Peter was a creep, then MJ was a psychopath because who would let anyone use their phone so freely? He still took the device from her hands and waited until he was alone to tap your name in MJ’s messages. His heart was racing at the thought of having your number, but he didn’t feel ready for it.

So… he did something else.

5:44 PM | MJ🖤: Hey 🙂

Yikes. He really was a creep.

5:45 PM | You 😇: Hi MJ! What’s up? Did y’all finish building the Legos?

Peter smiled to himself at your enthusiastic greeting.

5:45 PM | MJ🖤: No, not yet. Ned left us to help with dinner. How are you?

Your next reply didn’t come as fast this time. Peter panicked, wondering if he said something weird. Then again, this whole situation was borderline crazy.

5:49 PM | You 😇: I’m doing my homework. It’s so boring. Wish I was with you all. 🥺

5:50 PM | MJ🖤: We wish you were here too. 💖

Peter saw the thought bubble with three dots pop up, eagerly waiting for your reply.

5:50 PM | You 😇: Hey MJ… I have a question.

5:50 PM | MJ🖤: Go for it.

5:50 PM | You 😇: Who are you? Lol.

Shit. Shit. Shit. You knew. Oh my god, Peter’s life was over. He got up off the floor and started pacing around the room in panic.

5:51 PM | You 😇: I know you’re not MJ… so either you stole her phone and I’m going to have to report you for identity theft or she let you use her phone.

5:53 PM | MJ🖤 : Okay, it’s Peter. Don’t report me. 🥺

He held his breath for your next response, facepalming himself for getting caught so fast.

5:53 PM | You 😇: Peter, why are you pretending to be MJ? If you wanted to text me, I could’ve just given you my number. Haha.

5:53 PM | MJ🖤 : Wait, really? I’m sorry. Idk why I did that.😅

5:53 PM | You 😇: Yeah. Here’s my number XXX-XXX-XXXX. Please text me as yourself. Lolol.

Peter had the biggest grin spread across his face as he fell onto Ned’s bed in relief. He couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. By some miracle he did it. He got your number… he actually got your number.

“Why are you staring at my phone like a creepy serial killer?” He looked up to see MJ leaning against Ned’s door frame.

“Uh… I got her number?”

“How?”

“... You’re going to kill me.”

#peter parker x reader #peter parker fic #mcu peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker blurb #my writing #smitten

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yuna542 · 10 months

Text

Connected (OT8 x reader)

Part 21<-

Part 22

Pairing: Han + Felix x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Warnings: 18+, Smut, Under 18 DNI!, ANGST, public sex, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, pet names, unprotected sex (just don’t), oral (f + m receiving), overstimulation, threesome

Word Count: 10.8k

Note: Since I did you dirty with the last chapter, here is some Jilix action to soothe the pain… I know know. You want to know what will happen with Channie, but it will come soon enough. What can I say? I‘m into edging ;)

On your first day of your new job as the personal manager of Stray Kids, you didn't expect to be standing in front of the man you made out with last night in a club. But it soon becomes clear that the Stray Kids don't just want you as their manager. Will this passionate arrangement end your career?

Fortunately, you were busy with your work and could hardly concentrate on the argument with Chan while rehearsals and sound check were going on the next morning.

Still, you felt nauseous and the oppressive feeling always swam along, like a disturbing noise in the background. You tried to avoid Chan as much as possible and succeeded most of the time. You also managed to pull yourself together and put on a professional mask. But you noticed Hyunjin's scrutinizing looks, Felix's additional attentions when he once again offered you his bag of cereals or asked you for the hundredth time if you were cold. Everyone sensed and knew that something was wrong, but Chan radiated such a coldness that no one dared say anything about it. If he didn't want to talk about it, no one would try to do so. Chan was intimidating when he was in a bad mood and you could smell it from far away. It was like a dark aura surrounding him. It was better that way. The performance was coming up and in just a few hours they had to deliver.

You thought you had yourself under control until you came backstage to tell them excitedly about the huge crowd of people in the stadium, but when you saw Mina doing Chan's makeup, across the room, and they were laughing and talking, you thought you were going to scream out loud. Instead, you bit your tongue until you tasted blood and wanted to run out again, but bumped into Jeongin, who held you by your waist.

"Wow... Are you okay?"

You just nodded, unable to get a word out, and rushed out. The show started and the guys were getting ready to get on stage. You felt Chan's gaze like sharp arrows digging into your back and when Felix came to you, you saw the excitement in his eyes.

"Can I get a kiss? For good luck?" he asked with a sweet smile and flushed cheeks. Smirking, you leaned forward and pressed your lips reassuringly to his. Directly his shoulders dropped and he seemed more relaxed as he closed his eyes and pulled you into a hug.

"Thank you," he whispered, giving you one last little peck on the lips before following Changbin.

"What about me? Can I see your tits, for good luck?" asked Han teasingly, sliding his fingers into your waistband to pull you closer. You slapped him mockingly on the shoulder and couldn't suppress a giggle.

"Ji! You don't need that much luck. Believe me."

He rested his forehead against yours and closed his eyes. You heard his breath catch and knew exactly what was going on. He had told you that he struggled with anxiety and soon you understood that he often masked his real insecurity with his humor. Whenever an anxiety attack threatened to overwhelm him, he would come to you looking for comfort and you would do your best to calm him down. Which is why you put your cool hands to his cheeks and took a few deep breaths with him. He grabbed your hands and concentrated only on them and your slow breathing, your sweet scent and your soothing touch.

Slowly he opened his eyes and the grin was back.

"Show them!" you whispered and he kissed your knuckles before following the others and hurrying onto the stage. The concert you were so afraid of was a big success. The atmosphere and the volume was enormous and when they said goodbye to the fans, your heart beat with relief. They looked damn good, danced like never before and also the live vocals left everyone speechless.

Euphoric and full of energy, they left the stage and came running backstage.

As soon as Changbin caught sight of you, he grabbed you, wrapped his arms around you and lifted you off the ground with his strong arms. Giggling, you wrapped your arms around him and relief flooded the backstage area. He spun you around and then set you down.

"We did it," he sighed and Seungmin gave you a high-five as he walked by before ruffling through your hair and giving you a slap on the butt that only you seemed to notice, by then Hyunjin was coming up to you and pulling you closer by your hips as well until you bumped your chest against him. The sweat on his face with that energetic glint in his eyes was so sexy that you had to bite your lip while looking up at him.

"If that idiot wasn't staring like a perv, I'd kiss you right now," he whispered as he pulled you into a hug, and when you turned around, you recognized Ji-Deung leaning against the wall, congratulating the crew for the successful concert. Still, he stared over at you and saw his lips pressed together tensely. Even when Hyunjin let go of you and brushed your thigh while passing. But before you could say anything back, Felix had embraced you effusively and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

You stroked his head and nearly lost your balance as he clung tightly to you.

"That was amazing!" he gasped, and when he let go of you, Jeongin was already waiting behind him, taking your face in his hands and pressing a kiss to your forehead. Completely taken off guard by all the affection, you staggered a bit until you saw Jisung and Minho, who both smiled wryly and wanted to give you room to breath first. But you couldn't help yourself and stepped towards them, grabbing their hands and pulling them closer to wrap both arms around one shoulder of each. Minho immediately put a hand on your waist and Jisung clasped your shoulder. You grinned at each other and the adrenaline of the last few hours floated in the air like smoke from a cigarette.

"Good job, kitten," Minho purred, and Jisung had to control himself to keep his hands to himself in front of all the people.

"See you later," he whispered and you nodded. They both disappeared into the changing rooms and now there was only Chan standing there. He walked slowly towards you, the adrenaline still crackling in his eyes and he looked damn good in the outfit, with the tight leather pants and the loose top that revealed a glimpse of his abs.

"You guys were amazing..." you commented, the tension in the air tightening your throat.

Chan nodded curtly, wanting to hug you as much as the others. But the argument hung between you like a thick curtain that no one dared to push aside.

"See you around..." he murmured and hurried past you, leaving you with an empty feeling. Something in your chest stung painfully and you grabbed your chest right above your heart, afraid it might just crumble.

That's when you felt someone step up next to you and put a hand on your shoulder. You looked up in surprise at Ji-Deung, whose hand was heavy on your skin.

"Was there trouble with Chan?"

He feigned sympathy, but you could hear the satisfaction coming from his voice.

"We just had a little disagreement," you lied, trying to wipe his hand away, but he was already letting it trail down your back. You instantly felt ice cold.

"It'll be fine... Idols are difficult to deal with sometimes. It just doesn’t work between them and people like us“

People like us?

You wanted to shove him away and yell at him that he didn't know what he was talking about, but the lump in your throat wouldn't let out another sound. His hand wandered lower and lower until it was at your lower back. You felt uncomfortable and feared being crushed by the walls.

"I have to go," you pressed out, shuddering when you finally managed to get your feet moving.

At the hotel, you all ate together in Changbin and Chan's room. The boys excitedly talked about everything they had seen and experienced at the concert. Meanwhile, you sat leaning against the headboard and struggled to smile from time to time, even though you wanted to cry. Chan didn't speak to you, he hardly dared to look at you anymore. It was painful and you longed for him so much. But the anger about what he had said kept you from doing so. Despite everything, he was attentive, had saved you the mango smoothie because he knew how much you loved it and put it right next to you without a comment. His caring side despite the argument was so much worse than if he had just hated and ignored you.

Way earlier than normally you said good night and disappeared to your room. Already tomorrow you flew further to Australia and you needed urgently distance from Chan, in order not to be constantly reminded of what you had lost.

-*—*-*-*-*-

"Is this really comfortable, Lix?", you asked with a giggle as you tried to look over your shoulder.

"It's perfect...", he sighed in such a low voice that it gave you goosebumps and snuggled his cheek closer against your butt.

After arriving in Melbourne in the middle of the night, you were all tremendously jet-lagged but luckily you still had a full day to sleep and get used to the new climate.

You all stumbled into your hotel rooms like zombies and fell into your beds. You didn't have a chance to give another thought to Chan, you had been too exhausted.

Sometime in the morning, when the first rays of sunlight had fallen through the window of your hotel room, you had opened your eyes for the first time and found Felix snuggled tightly against you.

He must have come into your room sometime during the night and snuck under your covers.

He had still been fast asleep, with both arms wrapped tightly around your belly, his head leaning against your chest, looking so beautiful that you had spent some time just looking at him.

The freckles on his pale skin shone in the glow of the sun's rays like a small galaxy and his plush lips were pouted in his sleep. You really wanted to kiss them, but you didn't want to risk waking him up.

He looked so peaceful and relaxed that you didn't even dare to move while his breathing brushed warmly against your neck.

You had to control yourself not to keep smelling his soft hair. He smelled of sweet vanilla, a little spicy ginger, and sweet woods, which made you close your eyes and take a deep breath. It wasn't long before he was growling deeply like a sleeping dragon, pulling you closer to him.

First slowly his eyelids fluttered and then he had looked at you with his chocolate eyes, making you all jittery.

"Morning, angel," he had said in a raspy tone and that his voice was even deeper in the morning than it already was made your blood vibrate.

"Did you get lost tonight?" you asked softly, and he buried his face at your chest between your boobs with a caught grin. You ran your fingers through his fluffy hair, playing with a few strands.

"I couldn't sleep. Was way too excited now that we're finally in Australia..." he explained, pressing a kiss to the vacant spot under your collarbone that was exposed by your thin pyjama top.

"I always get a good night's sleep with you. I hope that's okay."

You smiled as you felt his fingers on your hips, sliding under the hem of your pyjama shorts.

"How could I say no to that face?" you flirted, giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

He automatically closed his eyes, hoping for more, but you pulled back ready to reach for your phone and check the time.

"We're lucky... It's still early," you said and Felix yawned emphatically. He straightened up a bit and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it aside.

You watched him a little too closely. His abs were perfect in every way and you had to bite your lower lip to keep from drooling as he knelt on the bed in front of you and ran his hands through the mess of blonde hair, his eyes still full of sleep.

You knew he was more comfortable sleeping without clothes on, much like Chan, and you definitely couldn't complain about that.

However, you now also noticed how warm it was already in the hotel room. The heat of Australia would definitely get to you.

"Jet lag is really nasty this time," he sighed, looking at you crinkled from above.

His fair skin looked beautiful in the golden morning light, and he reminded you of a drawing of a god straight out of a history book, kneeling before you like that.

Then he grabbed the duvet and lifted it jerkily. Startled, you pulled your legs to your chest and looked at him in confusion.

"What are you doing?"

"I want to see what you're wearing," he murmured as his eyes were already excitedly gliding over your body.

The pyjama set was more reminiscent of underwear consisting entirely of lace, and you had only put it on because it had been the first thing laying in the suitcase on the top.

Felix mouth was open and he held the blanket as if petrified.

"Bloody hell..." he gasped in the most Australian accent you had ever heard.

"You wear that to sleep alone?"

You tried to take the blanket away from him again to cover yourself, but he was faster and held it a little higher.

"It's just a pyjama Lix!"

Actually, it had been a really expensive set, which you especially wanted to please Felix and Hyunjin with, since they both loved lace and white on you.

Obviously, you had hit the mark with Felix.

"Just a pair of pyjamas? You look like a princess! A sexy princess."

Slowly, the corners of his mouth lifted and you could see the mischievousness flashing in his eyes before he pounced on you, clutching you so tightly that you had no chance of escaping.

Chuckling, you tried to free yourself from his arms as he began to spread tickling kisses all over your neck and chest.

Playfully you rolled across the bed together and you could feel his muscles firm against your warm skin. The scuffle ended with you on top of him until he grabbed your wrists and threw you to the side.

Out of breath, you paused for a moment, but he did not release you from his grasp. Instead, he looked at you as you both lay on your sides, stroking his hands up your back.

You cupped his face with both hands as you never got enough of looking at him.

"You're so pretty," you whispered, unaware that you had spoken your thoughts aloud, and it was only when you saw his radiant smile that you realized it.

"Says the most beautiful girl," he replied, and before he could see how red you were blushing, you pulled him closer and kissed him.

It was a cute kiss that sent butterflies through your whole body and so you spent the whole morning cuddling, snoozing, kissing and enjoying each other's company.

At least until the door was yanked open and you seriously considered banning the boys from your room by not giving them an extra room card anymore.

You were working through the most important emails on your cell phone, lying on your stomach. Felix was lying with his cheek on your butt, his body between your legs and his eyes closed. He had been asleep for a whole hour and only stirred when his hands stroked your lower back or he grabbed your hips.

When the door slammed shut behind Han, however, he startled, but immediately rested his head on your butt and closed his eyes again.

"Morning Ji," you greeted him with a glance over your shoulder.

He was wearing ripped jeans and a tank top. His hair was a mess and apparently he had just woken up too.

"Here you are Yongbok! I should have guessed..." he said, dropping down on the bed next to you with a yawn.

Nimbly, he snatched the cell phone out of your hand and held it so high above his head that you couldn't reach it.

"You're already working this early in the morning? We're off today!"

He glared at you accusingly and placed the cell phone on the nightstand out of your reach.

"Good thing I'm here to save you now," he said, casually eyeing your body with a smug smile.

"Let's go to the beach!"

You both looked at him stunned, but he was quite serious.

"Are you serious? Ji-Deung will give us hell if we leave this close to the show," you said, shuddering at the thought of the fun brake with glasses who had been following your every move since you were on tour. It was obvious he didn't trust you and he was bothered by your intimate interaction with the guys.

"He doesn't need to know. Come on! Felix, you can show us your homeland!"

Han continued to try and you found it increasingly difficult to deny him any wish. His dark eyes shone like stars and you could only look at his plush lips as he spoke.

Felix clasped your hips with both hands and looked at Han silently, as if he were really thinking about it, resting his chin on your lower back.

"I looked it up on the internet. There's a small hidden beach just a few miles from here. We'll be all alone there and no one will know we were even gone. We wanted to see the sea after all!"

When Han wanted something, it was very difficult to dissuade him. In addition, Felix and you were the best people to persuade, since it was hard to refuse Jisung anyway.

"Chan will notice..." you said monotonously and just saying his name hurt. You wanted everything to go back to the way it was before. You would have preferred not to watch the video after all. In the meantime tried to forget it. You just wanted to lie in Chan's arms again, kiss him and hear his voice. By now you didn't care about the video at all.

"Chan's gone..."

"What?" you asked a little too loudly, and Han twirled a strand of your hair around his finger, which fell into your face.

"He went to see his family last night."

You jerkily turned onto your side, causing Felix's head to fall off your butt and onto the mattress. You hadn't known that. He hadn't told you, even though you always told each other everything. You always knew where the other was.

Your heart contracted painfully. Your last conversation had been an argument and now you had no chance to talk until after the show.

Felix straightened up a bit until you were sitting in a circle on the bed and shrugged:

"Let's just do this. What should happen? No one knows we're in Australia yet and the beaches here are paradise. I haven't been here in years."

You ran both hands through your hair and sighed loudly as you weighed whether it was really a good idea to take such a risk.

If someone recognized you, it could quickly become very problematic without security and someone in the know. On the other hand, the two of them awakened the urge for adventure in you and you also wanted to finally see the paradisiacal sea and beach that Felix was always talking about.

In addition, it was a welcome distraction from the thoughts about Chan and the painful argument.

They both looked at you eagerly until Jisung tilted his head and blew your mind with big begging eyes.

"Please, jagi! No one will know about this. I promise!"

Both your hands fell loudly on the mattress and you exhaled audibly.

"Alright. But then we have to go right away."

Cheering, Jisung clapped his hands and Felix laughed in relief.

"I'm going to go change. I'll meet you in the lobby!" Felix said and jumped off the bed.

Shortly after, he was gone from the room.

"Ji-Deung is going to kill us..." you muttered, grabbing your new bikini and a dress from your suitcase.

"That snob will never catch us. I'll see if the hallway is safe and then wait in the lobby."

You nodded and mindlessly pulled your top over your head to get dressed.

By now it was normality to undress in front of the boys. You trusted them blindly and living with them made you discard any sense of shame which is why you didn't even question it anymore.

Jisung ran to the door and just as he was about to push down the doorhandle, he turned to you once more.

The sight of your bare breasts made him freeze and just as you were about to put on your bikini, he came back again.

"Shit... Maybe I'll stay here after all."

With the words, he wrapped his arms around your hips and pulled you closer until his lips were on your bare skin, caressing your boobs.

Laughing, you tried to push him away. He was like an excited dog, fixating only on the treat and forgetting everything else.

"Ji! Stop it! We're trying to get going!" you laughed, trying in vain to dislodge his upper arms from your hips.

He lifted you up and threw you on the bed and before you could react he was hovering over you and his mouth was closed around your nipple while his hand was kneading your other breast.

He sucked your soft skin between his teeth and played with your nipples until you felt dizzy.

"Hannie!" you tried again to make him stop, even if it was the last thing you wanted. But you couldn't waste any more time if you wanted to disappear unnoticed.

Briefly, he let go of your breasts and looked up at you in confusion, as if he hadn't even noticed how it had come to this.

"I have to get dressed! Get off me!", you cried out and your face turned scarlet.

Reluctantly, he pulled away and leaned back against the wall to watch you slip into your bikini.

"I can't help it. You're just too damn sexy," he replied, smiling apologetically.

You threw on a summery dress and packed a beach towel, water, and sunscreen, since the guys certainly hadn't thought of that.

"Did you sleep with Yongbok?" he asked curiously, out of thin air while less successfully blowing a strand of hair out of his face that caught in his eye.

"Why do you care about that? Don't you talk about that stuff with each other?" you asked, tying the laces of your Chucks.

"We do... It's just that he's never been part of an arrangement before. I'm just curious about that."

"Mm," you commented with an amused smile, and you could sense without looking up that he was almost bursting with curiosity.

"Soo did you?"

A silent laugh escaped you and you straightened up to tie your hair into a high ponytail in front of the mirror.

"You two are always cuddling, always hanging on each other, I can hardly imagine it hasn't happened yet. I would have suffocated by now with all that physical contact."

It was true. Felix loved skin-ship as much as you did, and that's probably why you understood each other on a completely different level. Without words and only through perceptions and feelings.

"Ji, it is actually possible to cuddle without fucking right away. I know that's hard for you to believe" you teased and he held his heart playfully affected.

"Not true at all! I'm a romantic!"

"Pff. You're the horniest person I know," you shot back and he inhaled emphatically dramatically.

You gave him a little kiss on the cheek and threw your bag over your shoulder.

He grabbed your chin before you could turn away and held your face right in front of his.

"Don't act like you're not into it," he replied with the most suggestive grin you'd ever seen on him.

Your breathless expression was answer enough. With a satisfied laugh, he let go of you and crossed his arms in front of his chest again.

"You’re getting on my nerves with your handsome face, Han Jisung! Stop looking at me all sexy! Weren't you going to go ahead?" you asked rhetorically, and that's when he remembered again.

"All right. See you in a bit, babe."

With a wink, he disappeared through the door and you prayed that no one would run into you. Especially not Ji-Deung.

It wasn't until you had passed a few streets past the hotel that you relaxed. The way to the beach was along a small dirt road and through a forest.

In fact, the beach was so hidden that no one was to be seen far and wide.

Enthusiastically, you slipped off your shoes and enjoyed the warm sand under your feet. Felix had not promised too much.

The water was turquoise and shimmered like a sea of sapphires. The sky was cloudless and the sun made the yellow sand look like liquid gold.

You spread out your towels under a large pine tree halfway in the shade. A few rays of sunlight sneaked through the dense branches and the air smelled of salt and vacation.

You spread out on the big beach towel that you had taken with you and Han had taken off his tank top so quickly and spread out on the towel that you didn't even manage to sit down.

Felix also slipped out of his shirt and to see the two of them now shirtless was something completely new. The continuous training before the comeback had left its mark and both of them had defined abs and muscular shoulders by now.

They both watched you slip out of your dress as unobtrusively as possible and gave each other meaningful looks as soon as they finally saw your green bikini.

It showcased your curves in all the right places, and seeing your skin glisten in the glow of the sun was something so sexy that Han would never need porn again when you were in his life.

Jisung whistled suggestively as soon as you tossed your dress aside, which made you throw a water bottle at him. You lay down between the two of them and you silently just enjoyed the soundscape and the paradisiacal panorama that Australia's beaches offered you.

"It's really beautiful," you said after a while and Jisung nodded in agreement.

"What made you leave this paradise?", Jisung murmured and looked questioningly at Felix.

"A dream," he replied without looking at him, letting the soft sand run through his hands.

The silence filled only with the sound of the sea and the rustling of the branches above you was a welcome change from the noise on tour and at home, which otherwise constantly surrounded you like a dense fog.

You had to admit that Jisung had had a good idea for once.

But of course, the silence didn't last long.

After all, you were traveling with the Chaos Twins.

Jisung got bored quickly and it showed again now.

"Let's go into the water!" he said, already slipping out of his jeans.

"You can't even swim," you retorted, looking up at him as he stood in front of you.

"Then you'll just have to hold me so I don't sink."

He bent down to you, grabbed your legs and lifted you up with ease. A surprised squeak escaped you and you clung to his shoulders as you lost the ground beneath you.

"Come on Yongbok!"

With those words, he walked down the beach to the water's edge, with you in his arms as if it were no effort at all.

He waded into the water and as soon as it touched your feet, you wrapped your arms tighter around his torso.

"Ji no! Please... It's too cold!" you gasped, but he continued to carry you mercilessly into the water. When he was up to his waist into the sea, he looked at you with that familiar glint in his eyes that you knew all too well.

Panicked, you shook your head and tried desperately to hold on to him, but he let go of you and you fell into the water with a loud splash. Gasping, you resurfaced, your hair all over your face like a doused poodle, and Jisung held his stomach laughing at your outraged expression.

"Well wait, you little shit..." you pressed out, throwing all your weight at him.

Cursing, he rowed his arms and fell with you into the waves.

Bubbling, he went under until he regained his balance and his hair stuck to his forehead as he broke through the surface of the water again. Laughing, you pushed each other and splashed water all over each other until you saw Felix standing in the shallow water.

He had his arms wrapped around his body and was also wearing only boxer shorts.

With a unifying look, Jisung and you had found a common victim and as soon as you headed toward him, his eyes grew wide and he waved his hands in the air defensively.

"No! No please don't!" he pleaded, but you both had already grabbed an arm and pulled him mercilessly into the cool water until he submerged and resurfaced with narrowed eyes.

Your laughter resounded over the beach until he put an arm around Jisung's neck and pulled him off his feet.

You wrestled like that for quite a while, and you felt transported back to your carefree childhood years. It was liberating to think nothing and just have fun.

That was the effect of the two. When you were around them, you couldn't help but have fun.

At one point, Felix and you had a swim race and Jisung played referee in the shallow water. Of course, Felix won and Jisung wrapped you in his arms as you pouted and crossed your arms.

"He cheated!"

"How am I supposed to cheat at swimming?" asked Felix laughing as he brushed his wet hair out of his face.

"Aww our girl is a sore loser," Jisung chirped, wrapping his wide arms around your shoulders from behind to sway you back and forth teasingly.

Felix came through the water towards you and put his hands on your hips until his face was right in front of yours. The water beaded off his cheeks like crystals and he smiled so brightly that you wrapped your arms around his stomach.

"Don't be mad, pretty! What do I get from you now?"

Jisung rested his chin in the crook of your neck and let his hands rest against your stomach.

"Oh the winner wants a reward?" you asked challengingly, lightly pinching his side so he winced.

"I think I earned it..." he said amusedly, pressing his hands meaningfully into your hips.

"And what do you want?" you asked with a sneaky grin as you noticed his gaze down your body.

He looked at how the thin fabric of your bikini covered so little that it left enough room for naughty fantasies.

God he loved your body.

"I think Lix wants something in particular..." murmured Jisung, and directly the blush shot into Felix's cheeks. Caught, he released his gaze from your breasts and looked back and forth between you and Jisung.

Jisung pressed your hips against his middle and you could feel his length clearly through the fabric of his boxers on your butt.

"Tell me, what do you want Lix? All you have to do is ask..." you breathed seductively and jerked him closer by the hips until barely a hand's width fit between your bodies.

Panicked, his eyes raced up and down your face, while Jisung grinned knowingly. You leaned a little against the chest of the older and enjoyed the way his fingers circled your belly.

Felix blush was cute and he swallowed hard as you bit your lower lip charmingly.

"I... I don't know..." he stammered and that's when you leaned forward a bit until your lips brushed his. His heart was almost jumping out of his chest by now.

There was nothing adorable about this anymore. You were sensual and sexy and all that at once confused him. You kissed him slowly, nibbling into his lower lip, taking his hands as you did so and bringing them to your breasts.

You heard Jisung exhale sharply and he pressed your ass even harder against his length, which gradually became harder and grinded it against your skin.

Felix looked down at his hands perplexed and began to cup your breasts gently at first, then as you smiled against his lips and deepened the kiss he closed them tighter around them and began to knead them through the fabric.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down to you, moving your lips against his so sensually that he growled softly as he returned the kiss. You were trapped between the two men and your bodies were pressed tightly together as Jisung groped your hips and sucked on your neck.

Felix tongues stroked your lower lip in a demanding manner and you let it slide into your mouth. The kiss was so much wilder and more animalistic than anything you had ever done with Felix before, and you could clearly feel his dick pressed against your thigh. The waves washed over your bodies and as Felix greedily slid his hands under your bikini top and firmly squeezed your bare breasts there, with Jisung's mouth all over your neck, a heated moan escaped into his mouth.

You broke away from Felix, only to feel Jisung's hand on your chin, turning your head and impatiently pressing his lips directly onto yours.

Sighing, you let yourself fall against his chest as Felix pushed the straps of your bikini off your shoulders and kissed down your chest while Jisung closed his hand around your neck a little tighter.

"Let's go back. You can see us here," Jisung murmured, and you could clearly see how greedy he was for more.

You nodded, breathing heavily and aroused.

At the towels, Jisung pushed you down by your shoulders without waiting long and sat next to you while Felix knelt between your legs.

Immediately he leaned over you and kissed you while Jisung's hand ran up your thigh. You stroked through Felix's wet hair and licked needy into his mouth as Jisung ran his fingers over your covered middle.

A gasp escaped you as he let his index finger wander right over your clit. Automatically you buckled your hips against his hand and he watched you shudder under his touch. His other hand was suddenly at your back.

"Let's free those pretty tits," he murmured against your ear and pulled open the straps of your bikini until the top fell off.

Jisung set it aside and grabbed your right breast directly while Felix stared at your body with his mouth slightly open.

"I told you her boobs were perfect," Jisung said with a smile and your head dropped to the back of your neck as Felix wasted no time in taking your other nipple into his mouth and sucking on it.

Your hand was on the back of his neck and you looked down at him, who's face was red as he nibbled and licked on your breast desperately.

"You guys talk about my boobs on a regular?" you asked with a grin, and Jisung kneaded your other breast so hard that a hiss escaped you.

He leaned down to you, gave you a peck on the lips and looked you in the eye.

"Of course... With a smoking hot body like that, can you blame us?"

Then he pressed his lips harder on yours, catching your sighs as Felix worked your heated skin with his mouth and twirled your nipple between his fingers.

The heat of Australia was nothing compared to the one in your body right now.

As the two assaulted your body with their mouths, you grew increasingly dizzy and jerked them both away at once.

"Fuck... I can't breathe," you gasped as they both stared at you uncomprehendingly, as if you had taken away their favorite food for no reason.

Handling one of them was an experience in itself, but having both outrageously hot guys all over you at the same time was something that almost knocked you out.

"We're in public, you know?" you said, running your hands through your hair in a befuddled manner. Anyone could come to the beach, even if it was rather unlikely.

The guys seemed to be slowly remembering that as well, and both of them dropped down on their backs to the right and left of you.

"You're too tempting," Felix murmured, snuggling closer to you again.

"Just let me take a breath..." you sighed and put an arm around Felix, who rolled onto his side and placed a hand reassuringly on your boob. It fit perfectly in his palm and he just wanted to hold it forever. You stroked through his slowly drying hair and he grumbled contentedly.

"I think this is a good idea for all of us," Jisung agreed with you and his hand rested against your inner thigh where he circled his thumb over your soft skin as you snuggled into his arm and leaned your head against his chest.

So you dozed for a while in the warm sunshine, recharging your batteries.

"Can someone help me?"

Felix straightened up directly. He had been watching you smear your skin with the sunscreen all along. The shiny film on your inviting skin, the white cream and the way you let your hands glide over your belly, your legs, your arms, made him digress into naughty thoughts. Han was lying next to you on his stomach, just waking up from his stupor.

"Sure... I'll do it." Felix said a little faster than necessary. He was waiting all the time to be able to put his hands on you again. You turned onto your belly, stretched and waited until Felix climbed over you and spread the sunscreen in his hands. His heart was racing like crazy as his thighs were tight against yours, he hovered over your lower back and began to spread the cream on your shoulders. Like an artist, he was focused on his work as he worked the cream into your skin with supple fingers. You sighed softly, closing your eyes and enjoying his soft touches.

Soon he was working his way down your back, feeling the soft curves of your butt beneath him, and had to force back his gasps as arousal ran hot between his legs.

Your bikini covered just enough to leave room for his swirling fantasies, and by now his cheeks were so flushed that he didn't dare look at Han, who was watching him with a wide grin.

When Felix stopped moving and just stared at your ass, which he was supposed to cream next, you looked over your shoulder in confusion.

"You may touch me Lix," you assured him and he was snapped out of a deep trance, nodding vehemently:

„Yes... yes sure. I was just...", he stammered and tried to ignore Han's snort as he began to spread the sunscreen on your butt cheeks. By now he was so hard he was embarrassed. All he had to do was touch you and he was helpless infatuated with you and desperate for any kind of you attention. When you sighed as he felt the soft flesh of your ass between his fingers, he gasped out loud. You smiled as you felt his hard length pressed against your lower legs, and looked over your shoulder while Felix's eyes were glued to your ass, his fingers kneading it more intensely even though all the cream had already been absorbed. It took him several seconds to notice your gaze, and he got wide-eyed right away.

"I'm so sorry..." he coughed, trying to cover his hard cock building a tent in his shorts by now with his arm. But he didn't get a moment to breathe because you were already turning around, putting your legs around his hips and propping yourself up on your elbows. The way he couldn't stop himself from looking at your breasts, swallowing and moving further down gave you so much self esteem. He looked at you as if he had never seen anything more beautiful and you felt desired, expensive, special with him.

The feeling of what he gave you was intoxicating.

"Yongbok, after all this time you should learn one thing from your hyungs," intervened Han, who had been watching the spectacle with amusement. Felix looked at him questioningly as he slid closer, took your hand and placed it against his chest, where you grinned and drew circles with your thumb.

"If you want something, you can't wait too long. You have to go get it."

With these words he winked at him, turned your head and kissed you so hard that you felt dizzy. One hand moved to your breast, gripping it tightly and twirling a nipple between his fingers until you breathed loudly. You buried your hands in his hair and opened your mouth until he licked into your mouth and your tongues fought for dominance. It was filthy and rough, but heated you up in no time. Felix watched you and it felt like his heart was going on a merry-go-round. The desire was so intense that he could hardly sit still and Han was also so hard after the little interlude that he put your hand to his crotch so you could feel what you were doing to him. You kissed his neck and sucked on it heated, until you found his lips again.

When he broke away from you, you were breathing hard, your cheeks were hot and you were so wet that Felix could feel it through the fabric of your last bit of clothes.

Han gave him a challenging look and finally Felix leaned down to you and lifted your chin with two fingers.

"Is that all right?"

His deep voice made butterflies fly up inside you. Breathless, you nodded.

After all this time, he was still making sure he didn't cross a line and that you didn't change your mind. He made you feel safe that you could break off at any time, and that made you fall for him even more.

Then his lips crashed down on yours, he kissed you hotter and more passionately, grabbed your tits and excitedly began to roll his hips against yours so that you felt his hard length pressed right against your aching cunt. Desperate, you wanted more. Your body was flooded with heat and you would have loved to rip away the last of the fabric to finally feel his length deep inside you. He was so beautiful, his hair shone in the sun, was messy and his freckles adorned his face like expensive jewelry. You needed to brush your lips over his abs, licked them until he breathed heavily and sucked his soft skin between your teeth.

That's when you felt Han's hand at your side, undoing the bows of your bikini, and you helped him by lifting your hips and he pulled the last bit of fabric from your body. Felix grumbled overwhelmed as he felt your bare cunt pressed against him and almost lost all self-control.

Desperately he rubbed his cock against your thigh until Han's words froze him:

"Oh our dear Felix... So desperate for a pretty girl in his life he is practically leaking by kissing one. How are you ever going to please her if you can't get passed kissing her?" Hans mocking had exactly the effect he wanted to achieve on the younger member.

Felix furrowed his brows, smiling in amusement, but there was the challenging gleam of competition in his eyes:

"We both know damn well I can please her just as well if not better than you Hyung!"

Han put a hand to his head and smiled conspiratorially.

You could tell by the gleam in his honey-kissed eyes that he had a plan and how much he liked the whole thing.

"Then show our pretty girl how much she means to us. Believe me she tastes divine.", he cooed and pushed the younger's head down decisively until he rested between your legs. Hungrily his eyes glinted open as he saw the wetness and beauty between your legs and growled:

"So gorgeous... Fuck want to taste you so bad."

You shuddered and a naughty sound escaped your throat as Han pressed Felix's head into your pussy with a mischievous grin.

Immediately his hands closed around your thighs, pushing them apart as the sensation threatened to overwhelm you and his tongue poked against your clit. You threw your head back, the blue sky began to spin as Felix sucked and worked your clit as if he had never tasted anything tastier. As if caught under a spell, he buried his face deeper into your pussy and as soon as his tongue penetrated you, you clung to Han's biceps and arched your back.

"Oh fuck... Felix fuck... so good," you pressed out between moans and Han had to bite his lip to keep from coming in his boxers from the sight alone. Felix's growl vibrated to your core as he spent wonders with his tongue, rubbing his nose firmly against your bud of nerves. You feared crushing Han's arm, but he held you tight, unable to help but kiss your pink lips and stifle your moans with them. His hands wandered over your belly, to your breasts, circling your nipples until he kissed your neck, sucking and nibbling on it. One hand was in Felix's hair and one in Hans's, greedily working your heated skin until he was satisfied with the red marks. Felix's tongue slid deeper and deeper, he took your breath away, Han broke your mind with his sucking on your skin until you were completely at their mercy. Overwhelmed you didn't know which name to moan, both sounded like liquid cotton candy from your lips and your high rolled in so fast your thighs squeezed Felix's head and as you pulled on his hair he rutted his hips against the towel. He wished he could live forever between your legs, trapped by your plush thighs and the sweet taste of your arousal on his tongue. Han had reached your breasts by now, licking them and pulling your nipple between his teeth until you gasped for breath.

Curses and whisked words with moans slipped over your lips and when Han guided your hand between his legs, you didn't hesitate long and slid into his boxers to grab his hard dick. Gasping, he wiggled them down before rutting into your hand and pressing his forehead against your chest.

"Your hands are so soft, honey. Keep doing that!“ he moaned and the whimpering only fired you up and you palmed him sloppily.

But your eyes rolled back as your orgasm overtook you while Felix pressed his plumb lips firmly against your throbbing pussy. With a pornographic moan, you came and time stopped.

„Felix." You groaned, and he only hummed in response, noisily lapping up your leaking juices. Han bit lightly into the soft flesh of your breast as your grip on his cock squeezed him and he nearly exploded. Your moans had Felix cock also rock hard, painfully stretching against his shorts. If he didn't get to fuck you, he'll definitely masturbate to the thought of your moans, the way your cheeks were red and eyes glossed over.

Felix guided you through the high that made your legs tremble around his head and he licked clean everything he had caused.

Until you saw clearly again and your breathing calmed down, he straightened up and looked at you. He looked like an angel chiseled out of marble, kneeling between your legs with all the galaxy shining through his eyes, while the sun shone around his head like a halo.

"Fucking hell, Lix... Why are you so good at this," you gasped, and Felix just grinned. His lips were still shiny from your wetness and he leaned in to press a kiss to your lips. You tasted yourself on him and you immediately got hot again. His kiss was soft at first, then he gently bit your bottom lip and you let out a small whimper. He only scoffed and let you brush your tongue along his. Your arms made their way around his neck and you soon found yourself pulling him closer.

Han gasped loudly as you continued to slide your hand up and down his dick and buried his face against your neck, muffling his adorable whimpers.

You held Felix face and looked deep into his eyes.

"Lix I want you to fuck me."

He swallowed, cleared his throat, and nodded slowly.

You straightened up, helped him take off his shorts as well and palmed him a few times and could only stare at how big he looked in your hands. Then you leaned back, looked at him and wrapped your legs around his hips.

"Fuck her good. Like she deserves," Han grinned, stroking himself while watching.

"I waited so long for this...," Felix growled, his cheeks rosy with excitement and he couldn't wait after months of fantasizing about you, lying awake all night, getting off and imagining what it might sound like when you moaned his name. You gasped when Han reached for your neck, one hand on your chin, leaving you a mess and desperate for so much more. He was gentle but hard with his kisses, wanting to leave bruises on your skin, wanting to devour you whole.

Felix penetrated with the tip, making you gasp loudly and the deeper he slid, the more you melted. He growled deeply until he felt his balls pressed against your ass.

"Fuck you feel amazing. So warm, angel."

His voice deepened with each word and you clawed into the towel as he rose up, lifting your hips higher with his hands until your ass rested on his thighs and he could sink even deeper into your cunt.

"Lix please... please fuck me," you moaned and he didn't need to be told twice.

„Don't worry baby, I'm gonna make you feel real good, okay?" he purred, overwhelmed by the feeling of your warm walls welcoming him and squeezing his cock just right. He stood still for a moment, allowing you to adjust before starting to slowly thrust into you. After a few seconds he couldn't stop himself and snapped his hips into yours and right away you pressed your legs even tighter around his body.

A strangled moan came from the back of your throat, a noise you didn't even know you could make. A noise you shouldn't make, on the beach in public, while you were fucked by one of the men you worked for. But you couldn't help it. You couldn't stop the chorus of moans falling from your lips, and to Felix it sounded just like the most beautiful melody he had ever heard. So beautiful and melodic to his ears. He loved it.

Han watched, his hand tightly closed around his throbbing cock and he couldn't get enough of the sight of the younger man pounding into you.

The pleasure inside your veins unlike anything you've felt before. So intoxicating and mind numbing, you could live on this feeling. Your hands gripped the sand through the towel, knuckles turning white as you moaned, your hips subconsciously rocking and grinding against him.

Heat pooled in your gut as Felix cock massaged your inner walls at a relentless pace, and you arched your back up into his thrusts, wrapping your legs firmly around his waist.

Han bent down to you, stroking his fingers down your neck, while Felix dug his fingers into your hips, hitting the sensitive spot each time, guiding you to your orgasm in record time.

Jisung sucked on your neck, just below your jaw, cupping your breast with his hand and noticing how your body tensed.

He pulled his lips away from you, smirking up at you. "Gonna cum, baby?" He asked and Felix deep whimper, made you roll your eyes. "Let go, sweet girl. Show us how you cum all over Felix cock," he said and you cried out, the burning sensation stronger than ever as you felt yourself being stretched out around his thick cock. Tears pricked your eyes and with a few deep thrusts that made your insides light up, you came trembling and with the naughtiest moan around Felix cock, who groaned loudly as your walls sucked him deeper.

He stopped for a moment, watching how beautifully you fell apart beneath him, never wanting to look away again. Your body was made for him and he just had to lean down and kiss your lips while lazily continuing to roll his hips against yours.

That's when Han said:

"Now that Yongbok finally got his dick wet, I should join, huh?"

Eagerly you looked up at him and you pulled him down to you while Felix was already sucking on your nipples, lapping your warm skin with kisses and continuing to thrust into you, making your overstimulated cunt pulsate.

You pushed your tongue into Han's mouth and kissed him desperately with more teeth and force than necessary. When he briefly broke away from you, Felix was already kneeling between your legs again and slamming deep inside you, this time his own release in mind.

"Be a good slut and open your mouth for me.... I want to fuck your pretty face, honey."

Jisung's voice was like liquid caramel, so sweet you couldn't get enough and would end up taking more than you could bear. But when you nodded and he climbed over you to press his knees right and left against your ribs, you wanted nothing more than to choke on his cock.

He put his red angry tip to your lips, spreading the bit of precum on it and you began kitty licking Jisungs cock while moaning from the pleasure on your pussy coming from Felix devilish dick, thrusting deep inside you. Jisung reached into your hair with one hand and slowly pushed his entire length into your mouth with a sigh of relief. Everything around you began to blur as Felix continued to use your pussy for his own pleasure, caught in his own trance of lust and desire.

As Han hit your throat and you gagged softly, he grinned and began thrusting into your mouth.

"Fuck so sexy... Taking both of our cocks like a slut."

That same hot bubbly feeling as before was forming in your stomach as Felix fucked you harder, faster, deeper than before, once he heard the gagging and whimpering as Han fucked your mouth restlessly. You groaned at his words and Felix completely lost control of his hips as he abused your body for his own pleasure. He was chasing after his own orgasm too, he couldn't help but crumble when it came to you. You were just too perfect, and your pussy was his own personal brand of heroin. Felix couldn't look anywhere else but where you two were connected. How his cock, covered with your juices, disappeared again and again in your sore pussy.

Han roughly rutted into your mouth, whimpering and gasping your name and your mind hovered somewhere between hot passion and sizzling explosions. Your eyes fell closed and you loosened your jaw, surrendering to the act of it. Yes, you were on your back and it was your mouth around his dick, but the sounds pouring out of Jisung, the stern hand he kept strangled into your hair, it felt like he was worshiping you. At the same time you felt every movement of Felix, every touch and every pulse beat so intensely that soon your body was floating above the clouds. Both of them sounded so mesmerising, Felix with his vibrating deep but sweet groans, and Han's adorable whimpering. Jisung tasted like a dessert you waited the whole day for, and when you moaned you couldn't have told if it was because of the way he pulled your hair, the pressure building between your thighs as Felix fucked you just right or the fact that the two men used your body like a toy, while strangely giving you the feeling of security and respect at the same time. Jisung hissed suddenly, and a muscle in his abdomen twitched, "Fuck," he whispered, because of the view you gifted him. Between lowered lashes, you blinked up at him, only to find he was already looking at you. The look on his face made your stomach tingle and your fingernails clawed deeper into his thighs. So you took him deeper, spurred on by his reaction, taking him so far into your mouth that you felt him tickle deep inside the back of your throat. He was so heavy on your tongue, his fingers so firmly entangled in your hair, that the stinging traveled all the way to your clit. Tears pooled in your eyes as the sounds of Felix thrusting into your soaked pussy mingled with all your growls, moans and whimpers.

It was dizzying, blinding, raging through you like a fire. It should be impossible for a body to withstand so much pleasure, all your sinews sung along, all your muscles tensed in anticipation. You gagged, tears streaming down your face, and as Jisung moaned your name and came with a final curse in your throat, you felt your orgasm rushing in like a storm.

"Oh fuck... babe... fuck," he stammered, pulling his cock out of your mouth to shoot his remaining load onto your chest and over your breasts with a few final strokes. With rattling breath and his chest rising and falling rapidly, he dropped onto his back beside you and stared up at the sky until the hundreds of glowing flashes and black dots dancing before his eyes calmed.

Felix and your eyes met, as he watched Hans cum all over your body, he choked on a moan and his thrusts became more chaotic, more unpredictable.

"Fuck so hot... keep squeezing me like that, angel," he growled and his fingers had already left marks on your soft skin. Your high gripped you, leaving you in a sea of white bliss until Felix shuddered too, coming inside you with a few final thrusts. He collapsed on top of you, burying his face against your neck, his hot breath hitting your skin as you mutually savored your climaxes for as long as possible.

Your limbs shook from your second orgasm, your lungs howling as Jisung had choked you on his cock and Felix pounding into your aching cunt.

After you calmed your breathing, Felix straightened up a bit, you felt his cum mix with your juices in your pussy and drip down your legs onto the towel.

Felix lips crashed into yours kissing you messily and desperately again, his tongue running along your bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth nibbling at it as his hands came up to cup your face stealing your breath and making you dizzy.

„Thank you," he whispered against your lips and you laughed softly. He had just fucked you senseless, made you come and he thanked you. He rolled over to your other side on his back and so the three of you just lay there for a while, listening to the sound of the waves hitting the beach and looking at the blue sky.

After a while, you turned your head and looked at Han.

"We have to go back soon... I'm sure the others have already noticed we're gone."

Han nodded slowly and looked at you as well. That's when you spotted the hickeys on his neck that you had caused and exhaled loudly when you saw red bruises on Felix's stomach and above his collarbone as well. You'd probably have to cover the red marks with makeup yourself before they had to go on stage tomorrow.

"You don't have to stare like that. You don't look any better," Felix smirked when he noticed your look and knelt down next to you to help you clean yourself up with a towel.

With a furrowed brow, you looked down at yourself and recognized several spots on your stomach, around your breasts, and probably on your neck in so many shades of red that made Hyunjin's color palette pale with envy.

"Oh God..." was the only thing you managed to get out. The guys just grinned at each other in amusement as you slipped back into your bikini. Just as you were about to put your bag away, Felix said:

"Let's go into the water again before we leave."

Han immediately agreed and you too could use a wet cool down after the sunshine-twins just turned you into a cock-drunk mess.

"Whoever gets in the water first!" you shouted challenging, jumping up and running along the beach. Surprised, they stared at each other and then rushed after you.

They chased you across the beach, all the way to the water, where Han grabbed you from behind and swept you off your feet. Together you fell into the waves laughing and chuckling, and just as you got your breath back you could only watch wide-eyed as Felix pounced on both of you.

So you fooled around in the water for a while, your laughter echoing across the sea and the sand dunes, until you were out of breath.

As you made your way back, exuberant and exhausted, you realized how much you had needed this day. You hadn't thought for a second about Chan or your work. You were just having fun together and your soul felt so much lighter.

You held hands with Felix and you swung your arms playfully back and forth between you, while Han carried your bag and put one arm around your shoulders, you embraced his waist. So you chatted boisterously as you strolled back, Felix constantly stopping to take pictures of you or the scenery. You posed laughing or making faces to tease him. You were just happy with them and the warmth and fresh air, made everything easier.

But then Felix's cell phone vibrated in his hand as you went through the photos, and when you read Chan's message in the group chat, the memory of the argument settled over you like a dark storm cloud.

„I forgot my power bank. Can someone bring it to the venue tomorrow?“

Immediately, the guys looked at you and Felix put his phone away so you wouldn't have to look at Chan's name for a second longer. You directly imagined him being with his family, happy and not giving you a second thought.

"You need to talk to Chan..." suddenly came from Jisung and you quickly shook your head as you just kept walking. They followed you and you could already see your hotel at the end of the street.

"No... There's nothing to talk about."

In truth, you were just incredibly afraid. Afraid that it was already too late and you had lost what meant so much to you.

This paralyzing feeling kept you from doing anything. You hung in the air, not daring to move for fear of falling deep and hitting even harder on the ground. Not being able to breath or think straight.

Felix reached for your hand and squeezed it reassuringly, and Jisung brushed a strand of hair from your forehead before you reached the lobby entrance. Both of them knew how much the argument was bothering you, but they were also aware that this was Chan and your business. They could stand by you, show you how important you were to them, and distract you for a whole day. But in the end, you had to work it out with Chan alone.

On the one hand, you hated that realization. On the other hand, you were grateful to them for not trying to interfere.

But you did not know what to do. You were desperate, afraid and incredibly confused. However, the one thing you knew for sure was that you would forgive Chan anything if only he would ask. You only had to look at his face to know where you belonged, but from here, you could do nothing. He was unreachable and the more time passed, the more you feared he would get over you. He would just forget you and move on.

The feeling of fear ate deep into your heart, until you hardly dared to hope anymore.

->Part 23

——————————————————————-

Taglist (closed):

@poisonivy21 @elizalabs3 @chartrucewhore @smutlemononeshot @hgema @bookwyrm28 @jeongchaos @jihanlovic @comingupwithacoolnameishard @marked-unknown @yuhjoeyuh @bakedlilgoonie @itstorimf @toomuchtellyneck @ana-stasssiaaa @galaxypox @n034sy @amara-mars @purple-bell @amararosesblog @tori719 @rindomo @freakinthesheets-excelexcel @crazyllamasurfer @luunaruwu @mariegalea @kimseungminsprincess @julciaqwerty @officialshania @whore4stucky9104 @foxinnie8 @i-dont-know-me-either @sirenthalia @mixling-blog @httpsmultifandom @hyunlixwife @eastleighsblog @tzalethhwang @queenofdragons12 @fixation-dump @midsoulz @emmxxsworld @scarletrosesposts @jinniespuppy @minervasystem @hyunlixsbbygirl @3rachasninja @cuddlethebear @sinforsuccubus @sweetpeas-serpent-princess

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leavingsunsets · 24 days

Note

Helllloo!!

I would like to request a senkuu x reader if possible! (Preferably some angst + romance but anything works!) Been looking for some inspiration and I love your work!

Also hopefully you're okay if I draw some of your work too

Thank youuuu!! (>u<)/

im okay with you drawing my work! saw some of ur art, and wow! glad ur a fan tehee :33 i see you've given me an angst plot, with romance? yes i will definitely fulfill this. i waaaassss ssupposed to make this action filled with scene wit reader dying in battle of treasure island arc and senku going "WHAT" and head in hands and sobbing and the gang has to go back to the mainland hat on stomach like ":(" but exams and research defense finished and i also jus watched cute little vid of an old couple so this is jussttt hmmm a softer angst set between events ig

"ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴍʏ ᴡᴀʏ."

[ꜱᴇɴᴋᴜ x ɢɴ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ]

It wasn't really a secret. You didn't even try, honestly.

Since the first of times of where you'd glimpsed his face at school, to the latest catch of him swirling fluid in a beaker, you've always been confident in your feelings.

Albeit a bit clumsy in your attempts, you were honest, never mincing them, never embarrassed.

"Senku, I really really like you!"

"Yeah, okay, could you pass me that screwdriver?" he says, both of you 6 years old in his room, as he gestures to the tool beside you.

"Senku, I want to date you. I heard Aimi had a boyfriend recently and I was thinking-" your voice goes interrupted as the loud sound of Senku's machinery overpower yours. 13 years old, another one of his favorite past times.

"Senku, if we were both nobles in medieval fantasy and I had to marry someone in order to get a persistent suitor off my back, I'd go to you. Offer a contract with an eventual divorce, but then we fall in love in a slow burn romance and start rethinking about our agreement."

"Can you- just- HELP ME, DAMN IT." Senku heaves, 16 years old, face turning red as he struggles to hold the boxes of equipment you came to help him with.

All these confessions, all these words, even before everything changed. The clatter of a can hitting the ground.

...

In this new life, surely, you know, Senku's had an absolute goal for this world. To rebuilt it as it was, from his own two hands. In your own way, you've had to learn how to pace your feelings.

Instead of words, as you always did, you decided to translate your affections into a language that matters most in a time like this.

Actions.

For every problem, every step he takes, you take with him. Express your thoughts, concerns, ideas. Any progress, you're there to celebrate with, any process, you're there to assist.

Declarations of love aren't so frequent, though you do like to sneak it in rarely. Announcing it in bursts of passion at the top of your lungs. Quite an antic you do, much to his embarrassment. It's become a well known fact, and often a joke between company.

Though, sometimes you wonder if it's what makes him doubt it. Your overt confessions, cheesy poems and bustling energy that could rival Taiju's. Was it too clumsy? Too obvious that he feels it's an exaggerated farce for show?

To this, you whisper gingerly in the dead of night, in the earliest of mornings,

"Senku. I really really like you."

In the times of uneventful hours, peacefulness in comfortable silence,

"Senku,"

You know, of course you do, of all people.

No one knows him more than you and that fact would've made you happy of such a thing if it couldn't break your heart more. The love of your life, saying everything said in a language that matters most in this time.

An unreadable glance. When the sun beams down brightly and you stare at him lovingly like he's hung the stars in the sky.

Winter strikes mercilessly, days are rough, tensions are high. When everything's all good and done, a bold pinkie inches towards his own. He doesn't pull away, but his hand moves back just as further.

Late at night, behind the tree he leans upon, watching, just watching. His ruby eyes enraptured by the night's celestial pearl.

Gaze too high, to see you.

You close your eyes.

You don't think you can ever stop loving him, despite that. That man doesn't like dragging things out, so you're sure a rejection is soon to come. Whether you approach first or not.

Why he doesn't do it sooner? You know why. As much as he doesn't reciprocate, you know how hesitant he is when it comes to close relationships such as you. Is he scared of breaking your friendship?

It's not the warmth you're looking for, but it's the warmth you can get. Even so, you would never expect him to return just as much as you've given. You love him for him, and not for anything else.

Tragic, how terribly you do.

Maybe one day, you'll learn to forget, to move your heart from where it isn't supposed to be. Maybe one day, you would stop gazing at him with something much more than fondness, waiting for his eyes to find its way back to you.

But until then,

"-I love you."

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poisonlove · 8 months

Text

A macchiato, please | j.o

part 1

I'm finally home, wrapped in the familiar atmosphere only my apartment can provide. Tex, my affectionate German Shepherd, is my sole company at the moment.

"Hello, sweetheart," I whisper gently, bending down to pet his head as his tail wags happily, displaying pure joy.

"I know... you're hungry," I confirm with a resigned sigh, heading to the kitchen. I open a can of dog food and mix it carefully with the kibbles.

"Enjoy your meal!" I add with a shy smile as Tex starts to happily devour his food.

I toss the keys onto the table.

I was so tired that I decided to skip my usual nightly routine and went straight to bed. I fall onto the soft mattress, exhausted from the long day.

As I turn on my phone, the screen greets me with a notification that seems like a dream.

Jennaortega has started following you.

A thrill of excitement rushes through me.

"I can't believe it," I whisper to myself with a small smile, feeling as if I've won the lottery of luck.

Curious to know more about her, I access her profile, smiling at her beautiful close-up picture. Her bright, happy eyes convey an infectious vitality.

"Wow, 40 million followers," I thought incredulously. It was like stepping into a whole new world, filled with enthusiastic followers.

I smile as I see numerous comments filled with love and support for Jenna, carefully observing her latest post: she was inside a car, wearing headphones. An involuntary sigh escapes my lips; her brown eyes seem to gaze at me as if wanting to read my soul. Her slightly parted lips, her perfectly falling bangs... her posture so natural by the window told a story of freedom and carefreeness.

I follow her back.

With shyness and anxiety, I open the chat and look at Jenna Ortega's profile picture. "You can do this... just say hi," I murmur to myself, trying to muster some courage.

Hello, I hope you enjoyed the place I manage to write, my fingers trembling slightly. I send the message, feeling my heart race. I exit the chat, letting the adrenaline rush through my veins.

I wait anxiously, heart in my mouth, hoping for a response.

The minutes seem endless as the chat remains on standby. Then, suddenly, the phone emits a sound, indicating a new incoming message. The lit screen shows the name Jenna Ortega and a short but kind message: Hi! Yes, I really enjoyed the place, the atmosphere was truly cozy. Thanks!

A spontaneous smile spreads across my face. Is there something you're particularly passionate about? I write, hoping to make the conversation deeper and more interesting.

Jenna's response comes quickly: Mmmh... why this random question?

I nervously bite my lower lip. I don't know, I'd love to know something about you that the internet can't tell me I write honestly.

I involuntarily smile as Jenna puts a heart on my message. "In that case... I love art and culture, so I enjoy visiting museums and art galleries. And also nature, taking long walks in parks."

I feel an immediate connection, as I also loved long walks, especially with Tex, my loyal four-legged companion.

I decide to share this detail:

I also love taking long walks, especially with Tex, my German Shepherd. He's my faithful adventure companion!

Jenna seems to like the bond with the four-legged friend, and the conversation continues on this topic. We've found a common ground that makes the conversation more authentic and enjoyable.

How about we have a call? she suddenly asks.

I feel a thrill of excitement at the opportunity to hear her voice and get to know each other better.

I reply: I'd love to.

A few seconds later, Jenna's profile picture, a white light, appears.

I swallow and, sighing, I accept the call.

"Hey!" My voice trembles slightly, nervous.

Jenna softly laughs, making my heart beat uncontrollably.

"Hello," Jenna responds.

I can sense the smile she's wearing.

"How are you?" I ask and close my eyes at such a basic question.

"Good... just a bit tired," she comments shyly, letting out a small yawn.

My eyes glance at the alarm clock next to my bed, seeing that it's only 10:08 PM.

"Maybe... we talk tomorrow?" I ask worriedly, biting my lower lip.

My heart hammers rapidly in my chest.

"No... I enjoy talking to you," she confesses, and my cheeks flush.

I sigh in relief knowing she couldn't see my blush and smile widely, almost feeling a pain in my cheeks.

"Oh, well... I can say the same," I reply.

Jenna gently laughs, making me smile even more.

"Do you have any interviews tomorrow? Or have the recordings already started?" I ask curiously.

"Mmmh," Jenna murmurs, thoughtful, "I think we're meeting with Tim," she says almost hesitantly.

"Right, it's not certain they're shooting here," I murmur almost sadly.

"I have no idea... but it's very likely," she admits weakly.

An not uncomfortable silence envelops us.

"And tell me... you said you'd be meeting. Who's with you?" I ask with curiosity, clutching the sheets out of nervousness.

"Oh... let me think," Jenna murmurs, "I believe it's Percy and Emma," she admits.

"Emma?" I ask excitedly. "Enid?" I ask with a smile on my face.

"Yes..." she laughs softly at my enthusiasm.

"Do you know I ship them in Wednesday ?" I say excitedly. "Enid and wdenesday are so close and adorable!" I exclaim happily.

Jenna bursts into laughter.

"Maybe it'll be canon... who knows," she says in a sing-song tone.

"Come to think of it..." she begins. "Maybe one day I could introduce you to the cast," she proposes, and I open my mouth in surprise.

"You're not joking... really?" I ask, and she gently laughs at my excitement.

"Seriously, let's say it's a way to pay you back for the coffee," she murmurs, yawning.

My excitement grows as I talk about my passions, the books I love to read, and the places I like to visit in the city. But then, I notice Jenna murmuring timidly, almost incomprehensibly, not responding.

"Jenna, everything okay?" I ask worriedly, sensing something off in the air.

"Mmmh," Jenna responds even more timidly, as if wanting to hide something.

"Did you see the new movie talk to me?" I ask absentmindedly, trying to change the subject and lighten the mood. "It was strange... I feel sorry for the guy, his face got messed up... but the ending... wow," I murmur absentmindedly, hoping to liven up the conversation.

I notice Jenna getting quieter and quieter, and worry grows inside me. "Am I... boring you?" I ask uncertainly, fearing I've made the conversation dull or tiresome for her.

"No," Jenna barely manages to respond, her voice weak and tired.

"I like your voice... keep going..." she affirms with a yawn, trying to encourage me to talk, but it's evident that fatigue is taking over.

Confused, I stutter in my thoughts, "What was I saying?" My mind is a bit foggy, and the fear of having bored her grows.

Jenna's steady breath makes me realize she has fallen asleep. I smile tenderly, knowing it's been a long day for her. Unfortunately, it's clear that tiredness has taken the lead, and I realize it's best to let her rest.

I gaze at the ceiling of my room, smiling.

"Goodnight, Jen," I whisper with a small smile, feeling the breath of the girl on the other end.

#jenna ortega x reader #wednesday addams x reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x fem!reader #miércoles addams #wednesday x you #wednesday addams x you #jenna marie ortega #jenna ortega imagine

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tsukishimasbaby · 5 months

Note

Hiiii! Could you do some more Hazbin hotel headcanons? Just who you see as caregivers and littles!

Hazbin Hotel Agere Headcanons!

A/N: Oooh yesyesyes!! I love Hazbin. My hyperfixation on it is starting to come back HARD. Also this will be a mix of character x character and character x reader simply based on vibes. :3

Characters: Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, Husk, Angel Dust, and Nifty!

Charlie

Caregiver! She’s like a mom. She loves taking care of others and she’s honestly an amazing caregiver. Like the best ever. Very encouraging and very good at comforting.

Vaggie is her little.

Does well with littles of all ages! But does prefer a little bit if you’re old enough to go out on adventures with her without her having to worry about it too much. :)

Calls you things like “Sweetheart” and “Little one”

Not very strict at all. Just sets a bedtime and makes sure you eat well!

Just overall extremely sweet and loving.

Vaggie

Little. Very reserved and quiet when she’s little. Doesn’t speak much. Prefers to be private about it and gets overstimulated very easy. Not gonna write too much about her because I’ve already made headcanons on her and I don’t wanna sound like a broken record!

Little ages are 4-5 and her caregiver is Charlie!

She likes playing with other littles sometimes. Not for too long, though, because hanging out with people drains her social battery easily. But she still loves playing!

Calls Charlie “Mama” and is very clingy to her, especially in public. She likes when Charlie sings to her. It calms her down a lot. :)

Doesn’t really like rules very much. Not because she’s a troublemaker or anything, rules just make her anxious and she feels a lot of pressure to follow them.

She’s a very shy, awkward baby but she’s adorable!

Alastor

Caregiver. He’s my caregiver actually it’s canon in case you guys didn’t know. He’s violent and manipulative with everyone else, but with you he’s sweet and gentle. He’s EXTREMELY protective, though. Like anybody looks at you wrong and they won’t be heard from ever again.

He’s not a caregiver for anyone except you. You’re the only one he’ll take care of like that.

Does well with littles of all ages but since I’m projecting, I’m gonna say he likes more dependent littles, so like…0-3. He thinks it’s so cute when you babble and waddle and want him to pick you up.

When you babble, he’ll nod his head and be like “mhm…mhm…oh wow!” like he’ll just play along.

He’s also really good at understanding your baby talk. He analyzes and takes note of your baby talk and your mannerisms.

Sometimes if you’re babbling and your babbles are in like…a passionate or aggressive tone, he’ll hold his microphone up to you. Just because he thinks it’s funny.

He loves playing with you and walking around the hotel with you. His little shadow thing plays with you a lot.

He buys you toys, pacifiers, coloring books, anything you want or need!

He’ll use his powers to like. Sing and dress you up and be super dramatic with you. Like that scene in Hazbin where he starts singing and prancing around and changes everyone’s outfits lol.

Calls you things like “Darling”, “my dear”, “beloved”, “sweetheart”, etc.

Likes being called parental names or just “Al”. :)

Very strict. Has a bedtime for you, sets mealtimes, makes you hold his hand around the hotel or outside in general. Also no TV. He does not like TV. :(

But that’s okay, he puts on the radio for you! You can sing and dance around to songs. :3

Overall a very loving and protective caregiver!

Husk

Caregiver. He’s like Haymitch from The Hunger Games. At first he acts annoyed and displeased, but he grows fond of you and enjoys taking care of you and he ends up being a really good caregiver!

He’s your caregiver and sometimes he babysits Angel Dust if Cherri Bomb is busy or just not around.

Does a bit better with slightly older littles. Like 6+ years old. It’s just because they tend to be more independent and whenever you’re regressed, he has to be able to trust you to not get into things you’re not supposed to. Like if he’s watching over you while at work, he needs to trust you to not get into the alcohol lol.

He likes physical affection and needs to have you around him no matter what, surprisingly enough. He’s super soft with you and if anyone else confronts him about it, he’ll tell them to F off and insist that it’s not because he’s clingy; he just risk a child messing things up if he’s not watching them, that’s all!

STRUGGLES with deciphering baby talk and it’s really funny and also another reason why he does better with older littles.

Likes calmer activities. Like if he’s at work, you can sit at the bar coloring or doing a puzzle or something and he’s perfectly content with that! When he isn’t at work, he likes having you in his lap while you color or play. He also really likes cuddles.

He himself tends to act out and be aggressive as a defense mechanism, so he’s actually really understanding when it comes to temper tantrums! He’ll ask you why it is you’re mad and then he’ll try to comfort you.

Like if you throw a fit because you wanted something but couldn’t have it, he’ll straight up gentle parent you. He’ll be like “I understand that you’re mad, and you’re having big feelings right now because you really wanted that, but that is not an option right now.” and then he’ll give you choices of something else you can have or do.

He’ll call you like a shortened version of your name or something related to your personality!

Idk how to explain it but as an example, because I love jellyfish and I go by jellyfish, he’d call me Jelly or something!

He likes any name you give him, although it takes him a bit to warm up to more parental ones! It isn’t that he doesn’t like it, quite the opposite, actually, he’s just not at all used to somebody trusting him like that.

Also pretty strict. Has a nonnegotiable bedtime, makes sure you eat enough and on time, not afraid to put you in time out or take away desert, etc. He isn’t mean, just protective.

He does not trust ANYBODY to babysit you, which is why you tend to sit at the bar right in front of him while he works. If he absolutely HAS to leave you with somebody, he’ll leave you with Charlie, and even then it’s very rare.

Angel Dust

Okay so I don’t really write for Angel Dust, as I’m not really sure how to. Characterize him. I don’t know how to write him very well and I deeply apologize for that. He’s just a very feminine and stereotypical gay man and I don’t wanna somehow be weird. Especially since I’ve seen a lot of gay men say they don’t like the way Angel is written. 😭

That being said, I think if anything he would be a little. Purely involuntary trauma regression. Regression is a trauma response for him and often times, whenever he’s little, he’ll be in his bed, holding Nuggets (I think that’s its name…), and just crying. :(

When he is feeling better and it’s one of the better days, he’s a troublemaker! His little age is around 6 and he’ll run around pulling pranks and generally causing chaos. Alastor isn’t his caregiver or even his babysitter by any means, but if Alastor picks up on it, he absolutely encourages Angel to just. Be a menace.

You have to have rules for him. Like you HAVE to. And even then it’s not like he doesn’t break them a lot. You have to put him in time out and take away TV privileges or send him to bed early a lot.

Cherri Bomb is his caregiver, and she’s like a big sister to him. He calls her “big sis” and “sissy”. She calls him “rascal” and “troublemaker”.

Likes playing with other littles but he can get a bit too rough sometimes. He’s just not very good with interacting with people, but he’s trying!

Overall just a very silly and mischievous little. :)

Nifty

So, I feel like, if anything, she’d be a babysitter! Like she thinks littles and age regression are adorable but she will absolutely encourage acting out. 😭

She’d set up littles to act out, actually. She’d be like “Hey…you wanna go prank Alastor?? :3” and it’s always disastrous 😭😭😭

Does well with littles of all ages! Either way, she’s gonna be like that one aunt that gives your kid a LOT of sugar right before sending them home lol.

Probably mostly babysits Alastor’s little but isn’t his first choice for. Obvious reasons. But if Rosie isn’t available, then he’ll let Nifty or Charlie babysit and if it’s her, all hell breaks loose.

She plays with you a lot. She’ll join in on games of play pretend and even make up story lines! She’ll read you books, color with you, help name your stuffies, etc!

Sorry I’ve written so little for her. I’m not really sure how to characterize her either but I’ll probably update this entire thing once the first season of the show comes out! :)

#agere #age regression #Hazbin hotel #Hazbin hotel agere #Charlie Morningstar #vaggie hazbin hotel #Alastor #Alastor Hazbin Hotel #Vaggie #Angel Dust #Angel Dust Hazbin Hotel #Husk #husk hazbin hotel #Nifty #nifty hazbin hotel

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skzdarlings · 1 year

Text

part v: bodyguard!felix x reader

masterlist.

PART I ; PART II ; PART III ; PART IV ; PART V ; PART VI ; PART VII ; PART VIII ; PART IX ; FINAL PART.

( READ ON AO3. )

Your father hires an inconspicuous bodyguard to accompany you at school and supervise you at home. What seems like an innocuous change in routine eventually spirals into a forbidden romance that grows more passionate over the years.

pairing: lee felix/reader content info: smut. violence. parental abuse. situations of intense peril overall. forced proximity. enemies2lovers. angst with eventual happy ending. (chapter word count; 18k words)

warning for this chapter: the usual story dynamic plus explicit violence, threatening behaviour, mentions of homophobia, implied suicidal ideation, and explicit sexual content.

Jisung sighs with agonizing sorrow as he turns his baseball cap around. He tugs the brim low then steeples his hands on the desk.

“I see,” he says grimly. “I understand. You found paradise in Hyunjin. You had a good friendship, it made a good romance. So you didn’t need a friend like me. Now you come to me and say, ‘Han Jisung, come bowling with me and my evil boyfriend.’ But you don’t ask with respect. You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to go bowling—”

“We’re in earth science right now,” Felix says, bemused.

“He’s quoting a movie,” you say.

“Ah.”

“And for the last time, Hyunjin is not my boyfriend,” you say. “We’re just… hanging out.”

Your second ‘date’ with Hyunjin was once more a family affair as your father invited him and his parents to the mansion for lunch. It was professionally catered because your father does nothing by halves, so at least the food was good. You and Hyunjin were mostly silent in the company of your parents, but you were allowed to walk around the yard by yourselves after.

He looked good because he always looks good, in a fuzzy purple sweater and name-brand jeans. His charisma was dwindled to nothing, though. He kept his fists curled up in the sleeves of his sweater and smiled a lot of forced smiles. His parents’ presence clearly does a number on his mentality. He did unwind somewhat when you were finally alone, but it was hard to shake the feeling of observation, their eyes stalking your every step like animals in a zoo.

“Maybe we should just have sex on the ground here,” you said dryly. “See if that satisfies them.”

He burst out laughing at that, an endearingly wheezy sound that made you giggle too.

“Wow,” he said, shaking his head. “When you make jokes like that I remember you and Han Jisung really are best friends.”

“Guilty,” you said with a snort. “Stupid jokes is what is friendship is all about.”

He smiled at the subject of friendship. His expression was full of so much warmth, very contrary to his polite but cold countenance during lunch when he only flirted appropriately.

You like Hyunjin as a friend and you think he might feel the same way, hence the reservation on both your parts to truly commit to this farce of a relationship. It feels wrong to use him to keep your father happy.

You caught his eye this morning in the school corridor, sharing a smile as you crossed paths. Even though a true relationship has not been defined, you told him you wanted to tell Jisung before you started hanging out at school.

You made the mistake of saying this within earshot of Hyunjin’s parents. His father unfortunately overheard you, enquiring as to the identity of this Jisung.

“Just her little school friend,” your father said. “Nobody important.”

Jisung might be nobody important to your father but he is still your friend. And unlike your father, who merits the value of life on business calculations, the first question Jisung asks is, “Does he make you happy?”

Felix is scribbling in his notebook but lifts his head at that question. You cannot look at him directly because you know it will shatter your very careful mask.

“Hyunjin is actually really nice when you get to know him,” you say, because the best lie has a hint of truth in it. “And I really do like spending time with him. So… it would make me happy if you could be happy for me too.”

Jisung scrutinizes you, then glances at Felix who has gone back to scribbling in his notebook. Eventually Jisung smiles and spins his cap backwards.

“If you’re happy, I’m happy,” Jisung says. He turns very dark and serious when he says, “But that pretty rich boy is paying for my nachos.”

You catch up to Hyunjin in the hallway. He laughs when you tell him Jisung’s stipulation.

“I think I can afford it,” he jokes, then quirks an eyebrow. “Jisung… He doesn’t know about your dad, does he?”

“Only a bit,” you say, thinking back to the countless times you abstractly complained about your father to him. “I mean, he knows he’s strict but he doesn’t know why. I complain about some stuff but… I don’t really go into detail.” Truth be told, you like that your friendship with Jisung is so far removed from your home life. He has nothing to do with your father or your wealth or your abuse. He likes you for you and that has always been the case.

“What about Felix?” Hyunjin asks. He nods behind you because Felix is never too far away. He is blending in as inconspicuously as he can, pretending to read notices on a bulletin board.

“What about him?” you say, heat creeping up your neck. You hope you appear casual.

“How close are you?” Hyunjin asks, his casual tone coloured with a hint of suggestion, like he already knows the answer.

You suppose anyone might assume Felix has a crush on you seeing as he is never far from your side. There is little explanation that a civilian could glean other than Felix being clingy or lovesick. No one would guess it is his job to trail after you.

But the suggestion is difficult to rebuke because your true feelings get all twisted up inside you. You and Felix do like each other – too much for your own goods. Though there has not been a reprise of the other morning, in fact you have not mentioned it once, there is a new electricity in all of your touches. That exchange did not satisfy or quell any desires, in fact it seemed to accomplish the opposite. When you wake in the morning to him so close, your heart turns into a thunderstorm and it sends sparks flying through every inch of your body.

You want him more than ever. You also hope you never get him or you will never find the resolve to let go.

“He’s just my—” You cannot force the word friend. “He’s just Felix,” you say. “He drives me crazy, to be honest.” That much is true.

Hyunjin’s brow furrows. He looks at Felix then turns your body so he is blocking you from sight. He leans in close to speak.

“He isn’t bothering you, is he?” Hyunjin asks. “Because if he is—”

A sharp laugh jumps out of you. The offer of protection is unexpected and unintentionally amusing. You have seen Felix in the midst of his training, his body a well-honed instrument that he knows and controls with utmost precision. Hyunjin uses his body in a different way, playing to his strengths with his showmanship, but he would be no match in confrontation.

Not that he knows it. His offer is very sincere.

You gaze at him, studying his kind but determined face. You remember how Hyunjin was expelled from his old school for fighting with another boy, supposedly over a girl. You read the report yourself and you recall how the other boy was badly pulverized. It is hard to picture Hyunjin doing something like that, but you know how violence often lurks in unassuming places.

“Thank you,” you say. “But it’s fine. Really.”

You guide the conversation back to bowling and it distracts him well enough.

At least you were allowed to plan this date. Your father essentially ordered you to go on a solo date with Hyunjin, except you could not be truly alone because Felix had to be there. When you questioned the logistics of that, your father said to work it out, that he would heed Felix’s discretion on the matter.

Fortunately, even with things tense between you, Felix does take your opinion into consideration. He agreed when you suggested a casual venue where you could hang out with Hyunjin and better acquaint him with your friends.

You are still not sure how long this charade is meant to continue, but for now you try to enjoy having another friend. This turns into a daunting task. Your social skills are lacklustre to say the least and attempting to befriend Hyunjin’s huge circle of friends proves perilously overwhelming. Fortunately, Hyunjin doesn’t take offense when you bail early at lunch to sit with Jisung instead. Hyunjin has a lot of friends but none with whom he is especially close.

“Having a best friend isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” you joke, watching Jisung bowl by swinging the ball two-handedly between his legs. You slouch in your seat as if embarrassed by him, shaking your head while Hyunjin laughs.

“He’s funny,” Hyunjin says.

“Then why do you antagonize him?” you ask, lightly but curiously.

“Because it’s fun,” he says with a smirk, making you laugh and Felix chuckle. “And easy.”

The three of you watch Jisung wail as his ball predictably rolls into the gutter.

“Fair enough,” you say.

You can tell Hyunjin has his guard up. It does not make him unkind but he is less personable even while he is more charismatic. You know that persona is in place to protect him, that Hyunjin wears happiness and charm the way you wear ire. Although they are contrary dispositions, both keep people at bay.

Jisung, being Jisung, manages to slip through the cracks of that guarded wall, much like he did you. You got to know Jisung slowly then all at once, empty moments passing between you until one day you realized he had long passed the guarded gate.

You are mulling this over when you spot him. You are so surprised that you choke on your soda and sputter the liquid painfully out of your nose. Your spontaneous violent hacking startles the boys, all of them jumping then fussing over you.

You are still coughing when Lee Minho approaches.

Hyunjin and Jisung do not see him at first, too pre-occupied with wiping your shirt and asking if you are okay. It is Felix who spots Minho next, realization dawning on his face before his expression sours. You have been seeking that reaction, looking for the vaguest hint of jealousy or at least acknowledgement. Felix does not seem very intimidated by Hyunjin, even when he flirts with you or touches you. He can probably tell your feelings are only friendly. But you did like Lee Minho once and he knows that.

Your heart skips beats when you and Felix look at each other. He has not been holding your gaze lately, quick to look away when you catch him staring. It sounds strange to say that you miss him when he is sleeping in your bed every night, but you ache with the loss of intimacy. He is the first person you see in the morning and the last face you see at night, but he has never felt farther away. Even your very first night together involved more genuine interaction.

If he truly did not want you, it would be easier. But when you do catch him staring, his eyes are intense, his gaze forever thoughtful. When he is not minding his actions, he naturally leans towards you just as you do him, orbiting planets around the light of your stars.

Jisung likes you as a friend, Hyunjin likes you as an ally, but Felix knows every part of you, the good and the bad, the normal and the crazy. When he touches you, he touches all of you, and you feel like a whole person, full of more life and possibility than you ever thought you could be. You told yourself not to rely on his touches and maybe you should have listened, maybe this withdrawal would not ache so terribly now, but you cannot bring yourself to fully regret it.

What you want is to reach across this table and hold his face, to bring it close to yours. Even if you don’t kiss, it would be enough to have him close, his breath on your lips and his freckled cheeks warm under your palms.

You will take what you can get, basking in the devoted attention of his gaze as your former crush approaches the table.

Minho comes up behind Hyunjin and smacks a hand onto his shoulder, startling him.

“I could hear you from the parking lot, Hwang Hyunjin,” Minho teases. “How many degrees was it again?”

When the rival popular boys were both at school, their interactions were minimal despite their reputations. Their few encounters were only jokingly hostile, one running gag revolving around Minho cooking Hyunjin in an air-fryer.

“One-hundred-eighty degrees,” Hyunjin completes the joke. He laughs with everyone else but he is blushing scarlet from the tips of his ears all down his neck.

It is strange. Hyunjin is a physical person, at least when performing. This is the same guy who made out with his girlfriend in a classroom. The same guy who got detention on his first day for skipping class to fool around with some girl. And yet his shoulder dips as if Minho’s hand is too heavy to bear, as if he is overwhelmed by the touch.

Hyunjin once remarked on your powers of observation. It is especially easy to read someone when their behaviour is similar to your own. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. The stilted proximity, the way they naturally lean towards each other, so heavily affected by the simplest touch on the shoulder.

How they absolutely cannot bring themselves to meet eyes.

Minho talks to your table, friendly enough, but it is obvious he has no idea who the rest of you are. He only knows Hyunjin, and he addresses Hyunjin directly, but he does not look at Hyunjin for more than a few seconds, and they do not look at each other at the same time.

Eventually, Minho squeezes the back of Hyunjin’s neck and Hyunjin curls up his fingers. Minho smiles and says his goodbyes, casual, friendly, sparing one final glance at Hyunjin that Hyunjin does not return. Hyunjin reaches for his glass and takes a drink while Minho leaves to join his own friends across the room.

You wonder if Felix registered any of it, but he is still frowning at Minho’s retreating back. You suppose he was watching you more than Hyunjin. Jisung is taking a picture of his abysmal bowling score.

You look at Hyunjin but he is smiling again. He offers to pay for dinner, swiftly diverting the conversation in that direction. Jisung goes with him to counter to order, leaving you and Felix alone.

Felix has gone back to feigned indifference, sipping from his soda as he stares at nothing particular.

“I need to be alone with Hyunjin for a bit,” you say. That quickly snaps his attention to you. “I just want to talk to him.”

“Talk,” Felix says, lifting an eyebrow. “Uhh, about what?”

“If it was your business, I wouldn’t need to be alone with him,” you say curtly. You are being intentionally antagonistic with that one, but you get a little thrill when it succeeds in piquing his interest. You suppose you have always resorted to bad behaviour for attention. Encouraged by the heat darkening his gaze, you flutter your eyelashes and drawl, “My daddy would get mad if you got in the way of us, you know.”

He laughs with disbelief. Stubborn as ever, he looks away, popping an elbow on the table and digging his fist into his temple.

“What?” you say with exaggerated innocence. “Wouldn’t he, Felix? Doesn’t he think I’m a bad girl who needs a good boy to fix her?”

He looks at you, just a sideways glance out of the corner of his eye, but it gets you so hot that you momentarily forget your whole endeavour.

He drops his arm with a thump, smiling at you with all that performative saccharine sweetness. It is the smile he projects when he is convincing the world he is just sweet, innocent Lee Felix. Beanie, flannel, ripped jeans, just another guy, cute and unassuming.

He stands and swiftly turns on the heel of his foot, slapping a hand down on the back of your seat so you instinctively lean back. He follows you down, in your face when he speaks in that low, honeyed voice, “Hyunjin doesn’t have what it takes for that, sweetheart.”

Then he is back in his seat, arms crossed and back to ignoring you.

“I hate you,” is what naturally falls from your lips, no other word sufficing to summarize the sheer inundation of feelings.

The corner of his lips quirk up in a little grin.

He is the present bane of your existence, but Felix does oblige your request. At the end of the evening, he purposefully leads Jisung away with some empty distraction, holding conversation while watching you over his shoulder. He does not go far, but far enough to be out of ear-shot.

Hyunjin is bent down, changing his shoes, and it takes you a minute to muster the nerve to speak.

“Hyunjin,” you finally say, your voice coming out weaker than you intended.

Your tone is usually sharp so the unexpected softness has him tensing before he even lifts his head. When he does, it is with a dimpled smile, handsome and so polite.

You scrub a hand over your face, shaking your head, trying to think of something to say. You do not want to put him in an awkward spot, but you definitely do not want him walking into a worse situation because of ignorance.

“You… you weren’t expelled for fighting… were you?” you finally ask. “And you and Minho weren’t enemies.”

His expression caves, a sharp breath parting his lips. He stares at you for a long moment, flickering between a fake laugh, anger, fear, and finally resignation.

“How did you…” he starts, then laughs without any humour, dry and airy as he pushes his hair back. “You really are good at seeing people, huh.”

“I stand by what I told you at that party,” you say. “That I’m sorry you feel like you have to hide the best parts of yourself. But as your friend, I need you to understand… my father is a very, very dangerous man. He uses people. All the things that make you who you are… he will just categorize them statistically and work out how to use those things against you to benefit him.”

He covers his mouth and stares at the ground, looking contemplative. After some time, he drops his hand, and speaks in an unsteady voice that makes him seem very young. “I can handle it,” he says. “My father…” Another dry laugh. “I had a… friend… at my whole school. My father found us together. He tried to get him leave me alone but… stupid kid… he didn’t listen. So my dad hired this thug, I mean, I didn’t even know you could do that… He shook him up and we paid off the family and then he moved me here and he said… he said…” His voice trails off and you don’t think he will find it again.

“Image,” you say. “Expectation. Whatever.”

He huffs a breath, rolls his eyes, laughs again.

“Yes,” he says. “I thought it would be easy. He wasn’t asking me to change, just pretend. I said… well, that’s not that bad, it could be worse. It’s worse for other people. I can pretend. But it’s not easy and…” He sucks in an unsteady breath, his face crinkling with emotion. His voice is strained when he continues, “I don’t like lying, and just because I don’t like girls it doesn’t mean I like using them. You were the final straw, I just…” He rubs his temples and shakes his head. “I just need to get through this year. I can move out after school but… my dad won’t give me access to my savings until the end of the year and only if I can show him I’m… ‘better’. So I… I need to get through this year.”

“Hyunjin, I want to help you,” you say, “but you need to know what you’re getting into with me. My father is more dangerous than just hiring a thug. He is the thug, his whole operation is thugs. He snaps his fingers and half the city is rearranging itself for him.”

“You talk back to him a lot,” Hyunjin argues, a fact you cannot refute. Though you are marginally better behaved in company, you are never truly docile.

“Yeah,” you say with a helpless laugh, “but trust me, I’m messed up.”

“So am I,” he says. “We can help each other. Keep our dads off our backs for now then figure it all out.”

Silence falls as you consider each other’s words. You feel like no matter what choice you make, it will be the wrong one.

“He works two jobs,” Hyunjin suddenly says, staring over your shoulder. You don’t have to turn to know it is Minho, on the other side of the room, laughing with his friends. “One is at a coffee shop. On the weekends he teaches dance classes to kids. His family isn’t well off but he is so casual about it that no one cares. Things everyone else gets ashamed or embarrassed about just doesn’t seem to bother him. I thought I hated him at first, because it all seemed so easy for him, and I was jealous because I thought I should be the lucky one. Then one morning after a party I was hungover and bitching at him, and he just said tsk…” Fondness creeps into his expression now, smoothing out the sadness that was there before. “Then he made me some coffee and kissed me when I wasn’t expecting it. I started working myself up about it and he called me idiot and did it again.” He looks at you. His voice is steady now. “My dad would never make coffee for someone. He doesn’t even know how. He pays someone to do all that meaningless stuff for him. Meaningless. That’s all his life is. He think it’s so important but it’s not. But I know better.”

He sits straighter and says with complete confidence, “My life will not be meaningless. I just need to get through this year.”

You know it is not so simple as that. You do not see a light at the end of the tunnel the way he seems to do. But he speaks with so much heartfelt conviction that you really do feel it for a moment.

In the end, it is impossible not to take his hand.

Felix is quiet on the car ride home. You know despite the pretence, he is curious about you and Hyunjin. His regard was a scrutinizing one, watching you hold hands until you said goodbye in the parking lot.

But Felix is acting his role, an indifferent and professional bodyguard. You take turns glancing at each other, occasionally catching eyes but looking away soon after.

The house will be empty for the next couple weeks as your father is on a business trip overseas. You strut confidently into the house with Felix on your heels. You busy yourself with scrolling on your phone, pretending you do not hear his agitated sighs. You plop yourself down on the couch and cross your legs.

Felix stands in front of you, arms crossed. You smile an excessively syrupy smile and bat your eyelashes.

“Yes?” you say. “Can I help you?”

“What are you doing with Hyunjin?” he asks.

“You know what I’m doing with Hyunjin,” you say dryly, looking at your phone again. “Just what my daddy said.”

“Okay but uhhh, you don’t like Hyunjin,” he says. “And you definitely don’t like obeying ‘daddy’.” He pitches up the word in a nasally whine to mock you, smiling when you glare.

“Maybe I changed my mind,” you say. Then you shrug like the whole thing is beneath you, like you could not care less about his reaction even while it is all you care about.

You stand and knock shoulders when you brush past. You make it a scarce foot before he grasps the back of your neck and guides you back to him, gentle and slow but ungiving in its demand. Even when he lets go, you feel tingles where his fingertips so lightly pressed.

You are standing close, almost cheek to cheek. You can count each familiar freckle.

“Are you free right now?” he asks, dropping his voice in such a suggestive way that you immediately feel flushed. You nod without thinking too hard. When you do, his face lights up with enthusiasm and he smiles, eyes oh-so adorably crinkled with mirth. “Great!” he says. “Put on exercise clothes and meet me in the gym for training.”

He leaves the room in a brisk jog, waving over his shoulder. You stand there for another moment, staring at the empty doorway and computing the whiplash of that whole ridiculous exchange.

Never have you come so close to actually hating that abominable nightmare boy.

You have clearly worked Felix into a mood, so you decide to be marginally complacent and do what he asks lest he hunt you down and force you to do push-ups in the bedroom. We can work-out in the bedroom all right, you imagine yourself saying with a wink, knowing very well there is not a chance you would ever actually be able to say that. Agitating him with a healthy dose of implication is different than outright stating it. Though the look on his face would be funny.

When you reach the gym, he is in sweatpants and a t-shirt just like you. He is stretching in front of the mirror wall. He smiles that sardonic smile through the reflection, beckoning you to join him. You make sure to stomp as petulantly as possible, crossing your arms like a stubborn child when you reach the mirror.

“You need to warm-up first,” he says. “Do you know how to stretch?”

“Yes, I know how to stretch,” you say venomously, a useless lie since he has witnessed your pitiful demonstrations of athleticism in gym class. He doesn’t comment, though, just lifts his eyebrows and says, “okaaaay,” before moving on.

You copy a few of his stretches, though he makes his movements look easier than they are. Then he makes you run a few laps around the room, simply smiling when you scowl at him. You are pretty sure that part was just a petty punishment.

Finally he sets up some mats and starts explaining basic tactical defense positions. He clearly knows what he is talking about and the familiarity of the subject seems to ground him in his body. It draws you into a similar state of relaxation and soon you find yourself actually listening to his instructions.

You mirror a few of his positions, focussing on holding yourself steady, on finding your centre of gravity.

“You won’t beat most people with brute strength,” Felix says. “I mean, uhhh, ha-ha, I’m not exactly the biggest guy in the world, myself, you know? It isn’t about that, though. Look, feel your core strength…”

You lose yourself in your concentration, watching your own motions in the mirror as he steps around you. Your attention only fractures when he lays a hand on your shoulder. He is just fixing your posture but your body does not seem to care that the action is casual. You curse your own sensitivity and tell yourself to get over it, especially when he starts demonstrating more bodily manoeuvres, requiring you to put your hands on his arms or hands or shoulders.

He acts unbothered the whole time, making you feel even more ridiculous. Then he explains something while wrapping an arm around your neck from behind. You step closer instinctively and your eyes widen when your backside collides with his front and you realize he is not as indifferent as he is acting. It is only the vaguest stirring of interest, but his sweatpants do little for modesty.

He nudges you away and clears his throat, continuing his lesson but with a little stutter. You feel flustered and embarrassed too, somehow simultaneously craving this sort of evidence and also balking at it. You actually masturbated in front of each other but for some reason it is more embarrassing when he catches you looking at the subtle imprint in his sweats. He clears his throat again but continues the lesson like nothing happened. When he steps up behind you again, you are both careful to keep your distance, his arm only hovering around you.

“So the best thing in a situation like this—” he starts.

“I know what to do,” you say, the tension so unbearable that if you do not shatter it, it will break you instead. You abruptly swing your arm back, elbowing him in the gut. You catch him by surprise and he stumbles back with an oof, holding his stomach and glaring with playful intensity.

“Very funny,” he says and steps closer again.

“This works too,” you say, giggling then stomping on his foot. It isn’t very hard but it is unexpected so he curses, taking a playful swipe at you when you skip away.

“Mature,” he says sarcastically, but with a genuine smile. You stick your tongue out at him and he reaches again, laughing when you dance out of arm’s reach.

He chases after you and you yelp when he catches up, his retaliation a truly heinous, punitive tickle attack. You squeal and laugh in his arms, squirming to get away and apologizing through your shrieks. He just laughs, continuing his evil barrage of tickles. You get tangled together in your flailing, stumbling around and eventually landing in a giggling heap in front of the mirror.

Finally he stops, just as winded from laughter. You are sitting between his legs, slouched against his chest, facing the mirror as you pant and wind down from your giggles.

You look at each other through the reflection, the longest you have held each other’s gaze in a while. It feels different, less direct, but also more complete. You see yourself as well as him, sitting in a fairly intimate position and looking for all the world like a normal young couple, glowing with carefree happiness.

You take a few steadying breaths. He does as well. The rush of your game settles. In the absence of laughter, the room is quiet. The whole house is quiet, a big empty space with the two of you alone in one small room, securely tucked away in your privacy, looking at each other through a mirror.

He swallows.

Your heart is racing and not from any playful exertion. He has a hand on your elbow and the other on your knee, but he is holding very still, as if a move in any direction will be catastrophic. He is probably right to think that.

You touch his hand anyway, holding his gaze in the mirror while you slide his hand from your knee to your thigh. His brow pinches, expression contorted as if in pain, though the hardening press of him against your backside tells you it is not pain.

He says your name. Then he sighs, closes his eyes, and rests his temple against your head.

“Sweetheart,” he says, drawing out all the softness of heart in his low drawl. You whimper, from that or his touch, his hand high on your thigh. Even through your clothes, his touch burns, waking nerves where it roams.

“Please,” you say, watching his face through his mirror. Finally he meets your gaze there, dark eyes on your face as he lets you guide his hand between your legs.

One deft stroke through your clothes has you making a sound like a sob. It pulls him over the brink of his hesitation, leaving it all behind as he cups you with a possessive sort of determination. His touch is clumsy and desperate but you don’t care, because it’s him.

It all seems to happen so fast and not fast enough, two pairs of nervous hands pushing and pulling. He tugs your knee over his, spreading your legs wide, and slides his hand into your sweats while you buck back against him. Your eagerness overwhelms you so he shushes gently in your ear, his free hand splayed across your collarbone. His forehead is pressed into the side of your head and he looks at you sideways through the mirror. You nod, holding his gaze as he touches you properly.

It is a fumbling, hungry touch, the hunger of someone who thinks he might never eat again after all this plenty. He might be right. He might be wrong. It doesn’t matter right now. You give yourselves over to the experience, as raw and inelegant as all that earnest passion is.

Your breathing is loud enough to fill the whole room, the whole house, broken sighs and guttural moans louder than the yelling that usually fills this place. His touch is only surface, not daring to go so far as putting his fingers inside you, even while rubbing his fingers through all that wet desire. Your knee is hooked over his, keeping you helplessly open under his touch when you come. He looks at you with an incredulous sort of amazement, then his eyes close and his low moan turns to a broken whimper as tumbles over the edge too.

You are both breathing hard in the aftermath, eyes closed, heads touching. You slowly bring your leg back and he slowly withdraws his hand. You look into the mirror when you take his hand, when you put it back between your legs over your clothes and hold it there. He says your name and curses.

It is the last thing he says for a while. You are both quiet. It is only later that night when the silence breaks, when he gets into bed after checking the security system. You look at each other across the space of that bed and mutely come to an accord, his arm outstretched in offering as you move into his embrace. He holds you against his chest, his heart beating under your ear.

“Do you hate me,” he asks, like he already knows the answer.

You sniffle. You nod.

“Okay,” he says, and strokes your back until you fall asleep.

Your final year of school passes in a blur of afternoons with Jisung, fake dates with Hyunjin, and long, unsatisfied nights where you and Felix hold each other with the knowledge of everything between you – and do nothing about it. He keeps his head down, trains, and dutifully reports to your father. At least your father is more agreeable these days because of your supposed relationship with Hyunjin. He thinks it is changing you for the better when really you are just being careful for Hyunjin’s sake.

The end of the year rolls around and soon you are down to the last few days of classes. You and Hyunjin are due for a conversation about what happens next. You whisper this to him in class, sitting close as you are sharing a lab desk for two. He is bent down scribbling in your yearbook, his pen scratching when he freezes. He looks up at you and nods.

“Yo, are you lovebirds done?” Jisung asks, spinning around from the desk he is sharing with Felix. He points a ruler at Hyunjin. “You better have left the last page blank like I said, man. I have things to say to my girl.”

“I did, I did,” Hyunjin says with playful exasperation, handing Jisung your yearbook so he can sign it too. Jisung takes it with a snap, clapping the ruler on the desk before turning back to his own seat to write his message. You and Hyunjin look at each other, helpless but to laugh at his shenanigans.

You catch Felix’s eye. He knows your relationship is fake, though he doesn’t know why. He probably figures you are just trying to keep your father off your case. Even if you trust Felix, it is not your place to tell Hyunjin’s story, guarding it so long as he asks.

It does mean Felix looks at you with the occasional battered-puppy eyes.

“Come on, Felix,” Hyunjin says with his big, dimpled smile, “let me write in yours too.”

The yearbooks were handed out this morning so everyone is running around getting their friends to sign farewell messages. You have already signed more yearbooks than you ever imagined you would, Hyunjin’s friends considering you an acquaintance if nothing else. Signing for them was easy at least, lots of have a great summer and good luck with your future.

It is much harder coming up with something for genuine friends. While Hyunjin writes in Felix’s yearbook, you stare down at Hyunjin’s, trying to think of what to say to your fake boyfriend and real friend.

I hope you get everything you want and more, you finally write. I’m glad I got to know you. LUV U BOYFRIEND!!!!

He laughs at the last part when you show him. “I wrote the same thing in yours, loving girlfriend,” he says.

You laugh too. You crumple up some paper to chuck at Jisung who is still scribbling in your yearbook.

“What, are you writing a novel?” you ask. “Hurry up!”

“Patience!” Jisung says. “You can’t rush a masterpiece!”

You, Hyunjin, and Felix all laugh. Once more, you and Felix look at each other a little longer. You did not bother to write in his yearbook as no words could suffice to summarize anything.

He jokingly wrote Have a Great Summer : ) in yours.

Jisung finally finishes his apparent epic, smacking your yearbook onto your desk. You reach for it but he holds it shut, giving you a very serious look.

“You can’t read my message now, okay?” he says. “Read it at home. Alone. With violins in the background.”

You snort and roll your eyes but smile fondly at him.

“Okay, Jisung,” you say, “I promise to cherish it and read your masterpiece properly.”

“That’s all I ask,” Jisung says with a salute.

After school, Felix waits while you and Hyunjin have a quick word.

“Can you come to my house?” Hyunjin asks. “I want to talk properly. Not here.”

You know your father will agree but you need his permission as you cannot visit without an escort. Hyunjin knows you always have a bodyguard not too far from sight; he just does not know that Felix is one of them. Your father sends his own men on your excursions together.

Felix is never too happy when separated. He is cordial enough with your father’s security team but it is obvious that Felix thinks he is more skilled than them, often commenting on their weaknesses or blunders. You do not see things with his professional precision but you take his word for it. It is easy to believe Felix is the best. After all, it takes a whole team of people to replace him.

As predicted, your father agrees to let you visit Hyunjin for the evening. The Hwang mansion is nowhere near as big an estate nor are their security measures even close to your impenetrable, bulletproof, gilded prison, but it is still a secure location where you can be supervised. You go with a few of your father’s men, sharing a dry look with Hyunjin when you arrive at his house. He just smiles, used to it.

You have dinner with his him and his parents, smiling all the while, playing the part you have played all year. Your father’s men surround the house and you pass them in the backyard, making your way to Hyunjin’s old tree-house for some privacy. It leaves you within sight of your father’s men but well out of ear-shot.

You plop down on the little wooden balcony, sighing as you stare into the distance. The sun is setting over the neighbourhood, an orange sky dappled with rosy pinks, sparkling as it catches glass panes and ostentatious embellishments. The creaky old tree-house has a cozier feel, a world separated from the nonsense below.

“Thank you,” Hyunjin says after a moment of shared silence, just watching the sunset. You look at each other and he smiles. “Having a real friend who knows me made a difference this year.”

The forthright sincerity is a bit much for you, seeing as you are not so good at communicating so plainly. You think you are improving, though. The old you would have drawn back, but you are able to smile at Hyunjin in return.

“I hope it helped,” you say.

“It did.” He moves a little closer just to be safe. “My father gave me control of my savings. My grandmother left me an inheritance and I needed the money.” His smile brightens his whole face in the rosy light. “I bought a house.”

“A house?” your voice breaks as you try contain your surprise in a whisper.

He laughs at your reaction, still smiling.

“Yes,” he says. “Well, it’s more like a cabin. It’s not much to look at. I needed it to be off the record, all in cash, and far away from here.”

You find the image of a small, homey cabin to be devastatingly beautiful. It could be the most dilapidated, ramshackle mess of a construction and you would still consider it perfect. You imagine sitting on a tiny porch with Felix, him smiling a big smile that crinkles his eyes and shows his teeth, his face sunny and golden and truly carefree, not just pretending.

You look at Hyunjin and see him staring into space with the same smile. You picture him with all the tension gone from his shoulders, laughing his wheezy laugh instead of forcing polite smiles. You swallow a lump in your throat.

“Oh, Hyunjin,” you say, holding his hand. “That’s really wonderful.”

It brings him back to you. Some of the dreaminess leaves his expression but he is definitely still happy. He squeezes your hand back.

“I can’t go yet,” he says. “My parents would just… They’d find me. I’m their only son. It would be an embarrassment to them if I just left. When I think about what my father did to my friend just to teach me a small lesson…” You squeeze his hand in sympathy. You both know his parents did not have that boy beaten to keep him away, but to teach Hyunjin a lesson.

Hyunjin takes a deep breath and says, “They won’t let me walk away easily. I have to do it right if I’m gonna be free.”

“How are you going to do that?” you ask, curious for his sake and even your own. The image of a far away cabin, untouched by trouble, is quickly nestling itself in some hidden cockle of your heart. You know that it will be difficult for him to leave but it would be next to impossible for you, so there is no sense in dreaming.

And yet… If Hyunjin can find a way, it makes you think that maybe certain dreams are not so impossible.

But he just sighs and looks away.

“I don’t know yet,” he says. “But I’m going to find a way.” He lets go of your hand to reach into his pocket, pulling out a small slip of paper. He passes it to you and you unfold it. You brow furrows as you read.

“Is this—”

“The city and address to the cabin,” he says.

“Why are you giving this to me?” you ask in a small voice. Not for the first time, you curse your inconstant feelings, the quick rise to emotional heights in the matter of seconds.

This is Hyunjin’s future written in a single line on a single piece of paper, such a seemingly simple thing and yet it has the power to completely destroy him. This is his means of his escape, his only avenue of liberty, and he is showing you despite your proximity to some truly wretched forces. He trusts you more than he fears them.

“It’s an easy address to remember,” he says. “I know things are hard for you. I don’t know what will happen to you. I don’t even know what will happen to me. But I know it’s harder when you’re alone. I know having people make a difference because they made a difference for me. If you ever get out, if you ever need somewhere to start…”

You cannot think of what to say. No words seem sufficient in reply. You can only nod and take a deep breath. You look up into the fading light and blink away your tears.

“Thank you,” you say. “I hope if we meet again, things will be different.”

The address has a sweet rhyming lilt to it, easy to remember like he said. You read it over a few times, commit it to memory, then tear up the slip of paper beyond any salvaging.

You sit in the tree-house until the sun fully sets. Little lanterns flicker to life one-by-one in the darkening yard below. When the sky is a blue wash and the path below is twinkling gold, you sigh.

“I don’t want to go back,” you say miserably. You don’t want to see your father or that house. Even Felix will stir nothing but anguish right now, as you think about how you are trapped and he is shackled to you. You also don’t really want to linger here. Your uncontrollable emotional pendulum has swung back from its precipice. A few minutes ago, you were close to crying, and now you feel so empty and resigned that you think you will never cry again. I’m so broken, you think helplessly. You want someone to tell you otherwise but you don’t know how to ask.

Hyunjin leans back, peering into the yard. Your father’s men are getting a little complacent in their boredom, one of them yawning where he is slouched in a deck chair. They are not really paying attention to you. They figure there is no where for you to go, the main steps from the tree-house leading right into their path.

Hyunjin puts a finger to his lips. You follow him quietly across the tree-house, obscured in enough darkness that none of the security team notices. He leads you to a dangling rope ladder, hidden on the opposite side of the tree. He points across the yard to a little garden around a koi pond.

“There’s a gate just past the pond,” he whispers. “There’s a path that leads through the neighbourhood. I’ll stay up here until they say something, then I’ll tell them you went home.” He smiles and puts a hand on your shoulder. “You probably should go home,” he says, “but at least this way you’ll have a bit of time alone first.”

You smile back at him, patting the hand on your shoulder.

“Thank you, Hyunjin,” you say.

“See you around,” he says, then pushes back his hair and smoulders at you. “And don’t take the break-up too hard. I know I’m handsome but there will be other men.”

You laugh and roll your eyes, pushing his shoulder.

“Oh, please, I broke up with you,” you say. “I couldn’t keep up with your vigorous beauty routine.”

“This face is natural,” he says, laughing too. Then he nudges you and looks more serious. “Go now. They’re not paying attention.”

You briefly weigh your odds. You have not snuck out in a very long time so the punishment might be proportionate to your otherwise good behaviour. Felix is not here so he will not be blamed for your escape. And you will not be avoiding a reprimand no matter what you do, because your father is going to be angry that you and Hyunjin broke-up – especially without consulting him first. If you are going to be punished anyway, you might as well take a walk and clear your head first.

You grab Hyunjin’s hand one last time, giving it a squeeze as you smile. Then you climb down the rope ladder and hurry across the garden. You are out the gate and on the path before you know it.

The wealthy neighbourhood is quiet and brightly lit, every yard illuminated despite the quietude of the street. They are all so pristinely manicured, different yet identical magazine-ready mansions. They look a bit eerie with the darkness around them, like some alien recreation of what a home should look like. It makes you dread the return to your own house. You wonder how much time you have to yourself, if the car is going to pull up alongside you any second now to drag you home.

It is then you remember you do have one more place you can go. Ridiculously, stupidly, your emotions come back in full swing and you feel like crying again. Maybe it is because you have not snuck out in so long, so it is reminding you of the very first time you ever did. You went to the very place you are going now: Jisung’s house.

You always met there before darting off to a party together. Those parties never amounted to much. You and Jisung always talked a big game then spent most of the time in a corner or on a roof, but it was the only time you were ever away from the prying eyes of your father’s overprotective security. You passed many nights that way, complaining to your best friend, talking about nothing, then rushing home before your absence was noticed.

You remember the route to his side of town, catching a bus and getting off at a familiar stop. This neighbourhood looks very different than Hyunjin’s, a range of houses both new and old, rundown and fixed-up. They don’t waste energy lighting their yards unless they have guests. All the light is from the streetlamps and the little yellow squares of homey light beaming through their windows.

You have never actually been inside Jisung’s house. You would usually just meet him in the yard before continuing on. This is the first time you walk up the porch steps and ring the doorbell.

You start to shiver. The adrenaline or your escape kept you warm but now you can feel the chill of the evening.

You are looking around the block and shivering when the door opens. You turn and see an older woman with a scowl on her face. Even if you did not know Jisung lived with his single mother, you would recognize her because of her round cheeks and big eyes, much like him. Except where his face is usually open and friendly, she looks at you like a bug she wants to squish.

“What?” she asks.

“Um, sorry to bother you,” you say, somehow more intimidated by her than your father’s burly security team. “I’m friends with Jisung. I was just wondering if he’s home…?”

She takes a step back and screams his name into the house. You stand awkwardly in the doorway, waiting while thumps and bangs come from the upper level, then Jisung is hurrying down the stairs and skittering into view. You so seldom see him without a hat that it is momentarily jarring, his flop of dark hair going everywhere as he comes to a wide-eyed stop.

He gets over his surprise and smiles wide, saying your name with an upward what-the-fuck inflection.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, stepping aside to let his mother pass. She says nothing more to you, disappearing into a side room.

“I, um, I don’t know,” you say, your emotions in turmoil again. You think about what Hyunjin said, about how having a friend made all the difference for him, and you suddenly realize how much you missed spending time with Jisung, how he was your first and only escape for so long. Tears are falling before you can stop them, a mess of everything with Hyunjin and Felix and your father, but you can only stammer a vague excuse, that you broke up with Hyunjin and wanted to talk to someone.

Jisung’s face is twisted up with surprise and sympathy. He says your name a few times and apologizes, guiding you into the house.

“Come on, let’s go upstairs,” he says, taking your hand and leading you up to his bedroom.

“Won’t your mom mind?” For some reason, despite the mania of emotion inside you, that is what you fixate on.

Jisung just laughs dryly, shaking his head as he closes the bedroom door behind you. “Trust me,” he says. “She won’t care. Sit down.”

Jisung’s bedroom is undeniably him, music posters overlapping on the wall, stacks of journals on his desk and bedside table. It is a sprawling canvas of music and writing, not to mention litters of clothes and baseball caps. He pushes a pile of clothes off his bed so you can both sit, shoulder-to-shoulder. His bed is against the wall, under the window, cool stars twinkling down at you while his bedside lamp fills the room with warmth.

Your sobbing has slowed to a heaving stutter. Jisung hands you some tissues to wipe your eyes.

“I’m gonna kill that evil pretty boy,” Jisung says.

You hiccup and shake your head. “It was me,” you say. “Hyunjin is my friend, he’s a good guy, I just—” You start crying all over again, tearing the soggy tissues to shreds. Jisung leans over to fetch some more, his face scrunched up with concern while he watches you dab your sore eyes. “I’m just so messed up, Jisung,” you say. “You have no idea how much. I don’t even think I could properly love someone if I tried. I just make a mess wherever I go.”

“What! Yo! No. Why are you saying these things?” He looks equal parts bewildered and horrified, quickly wrapping an arm around you. You let your head fall on his shoulder, still wiping your eyes while he rubs your arm. “You are not messed up. You’re my best friend and you’re awesome. How could you have a best friend if you can’t properly love someone, huh?”

“I’m a bad friend though,” you say. “I bail on you all the time and I’m crazy and emotional and—”

“And you have an evil dad who locks you in the house, remember?” Jisung says. “Look, I know it’s not my business, I’d never make you say it, but from what you’ve told me… Dude, that guy fucking sucks.”

You cannot help but laugh at that. Jisung smiles, tweaking your nose.

“I’ve never been mad about that stuff,” he says gently. “Not at you. At your dick dad, sure. But that has nothing to do with you.”

“I’m emotional like him,” you say, tears slowing to a lip wobble. “I fight him all the time but maybe that just proves it. All that anger inside me.”

“Anger isn’t bad,” Jisung says. “It’s a feeling just like anything else. Some people do bad shit while smiling the whole time. Remember that guy who bullied Felix that time at school, and how you hit him with that book? Or other times you just snapped back at some stupid dick? That wasn’t bad!”

You don’t have an argument in you. You just exhale, dabbing under your eyes with the crumpled tissue. Jisung continues to rub your arm.

Your eyes drift and land on one of his baseball caps. It is perched on a stack of schoolbooks. You think back through the years, all those school days, all those stolen parties and late nights. It was a slow beginning, then one day you realized he was your friend, your first ever friend, that he was making you laugh and you had inside jokes and you wanted to spend more time with him. You weren’t afraid to be around him and you knew he wouldn’t make fun of you or push you or judge you.

You feel his arm around your shoulder now and realize you are not afraid of it. You can no longer remember the first time you hugged Jisung, probably because it wasn’t a kiss or anything romantic and so you did not really register it. It was a moment that arrived silently, without any heart palpitations or fanfare, no sweaty palms or hot cheeks. He would have just put his arm around you like he is doing now, asking for nothing in return for it.

You realize he must have been the first person to hug you. Your mother passed away when you were in infancy and the only family you ever knew was your father and his now-late father. They did not hug each other and they did not hug you. The only kind of love you knew was a violent, controlling one, and it made you into a distrustful, feral little child in return.

You have reflected before how it took a long time to warm to Felix. Bit by bit. Touch by touch. It would have taken longer if you had never known Jisung. He drew you out of your shell before anyone else did. You were able to reach for Felix because Jisung reached for you. You were able to befriend Hyunjin because Jisung befriended you.

You find yourself choking back a different sob, one conjured by the realization of just how much Jisung has done by being there. You understand what Hyunjin meant, about a friend making all the difference.

Before you can say anything, Jisung gently asks, “It’s bad, isn’t it?”

You sit straight to look at him, brow furrowed.

“Your dad,” he says. “Things are… they’re bad, aren’t they? Worse than just not letting you hang out?”

Tears spill over again. You realize he is sniffling now too but holding back tears. He reaches across to wipe your face with his bare hands, swiping at your tears.

“I knew for a while,” Jisung says in a strained voice. “I could see the bruises. I didn’t know what to do. And I felt like I was letting you down because—”

He chokes on his breath. It gives you a moment to interject.

“You have nothing to feel bad about,” you say. You wipe his tears too, laughing at your equal dramatics. “Seriously, Jisungie.”

“No, you don’t understand,” he says, grabbing your hands and pulling them off his face. He shakes his head like he is trying to shake his tears out of him. It seems to work. After another breath, he manages to speak clearly. “Do you remember our first conversation? At school?”

“About the weather?” you say, thinking back to the first time Jisung started a conversation.

“No, before that,” he says. “We sat beside each other for months but we never spoke. Then I missed a week of school because I made myself sick, all my stupid anxiety and whatever. My mom, you know, she tries but she… It’s just easier for her to ignore me most of the time, I think. I know she didn’t want kids. So I was taking care of myself. And I missed school sometimes because of it, but no one ever noticed when I was gone. It’s like I was invisible everywhere I went. And I got so sick that week that I just wanted to die. But then I went back to school and I got my homework from the teachers and then you—” He slaps his hands in his lap and looks at you, smiling a teary-eyed smile. “You were the first person to ask where I was and if I was all right. And you made a face like you didn’t believe me when I said I was. Then I started talking about the weather.”

“Oh,” you say, shredding the tissue in your lap for something to look at, trying to keep your tears at bay. “I didn’t remember that part.”

“You’re really good at seeing people,” Jisung says. “Even when they’re trying to hide or pull away. I don’t know how you think you can’t love when you’re like that. You know how to do it better than the rest of us who forget to even look.” He takes your hand again, drawing your eyes up to his. “But I’m looking back now, okay? And I’m gonna save you.”

It is so frank and sincere that it makes you laugh.

“I am!” he says, laughing through his own watery voice. “Don’t laugh at me! You saved me and now I’m gonna save you too.”

“It’s not that easy, Jisung,” you say. “You have no idea how crazy everything in my life is—”

“It is that easy,” he says. “You’ll see. I promise. And a best friend promise is a forever promise, okay?”

You cannot bring yourself to argue. You just nod, your bottom lip wobbling again.

“Okay,” Jisung says. “Now come hug me so you can’t see me when I start crying like a baby.”

You laugh but fall into his arms nonetheless. You sit under that window for a long time. At least, it feels like a long time. You don’t look at the clock and you don’t count the minutes. It is not the kind of hug that is leading to anything because he doesn’t want to kiss you and he has no other motivation. He just hugs you until you are both calm, when your tears feel silly and dramatic and your eyes are sore but you feel strangely refreshed.

“I need to go,” you say, to which he whines in complaint. You laugh. “Saving me will have to wait for another day. For now, if I don’t get home…”

As if summoned by that very thought, your phone erupts with buzzes and rings. You sigh and fish it out of the pocket of your shorts, watching messages from your father, his security, and Felix come flooding in. The others are making commands and demanding your whereabouts. Felix asks, Are you okay? Then, I have to turn on your GPS. They’re gonna come get you wherever you are.

You answer Felix, telling him you’re fine, that you’re with Jisung. He sends an emoji that manages to look very unimpressed, then just says, that’s what the boss gets for sending amateurs.

Your father’s men are far from amateurs but it is still funny when Felix insults them.

You turn your phone to silent after that, not bothering to answer the others. They will find you in no time with Felix’s help.

“I better go,” you say. “My dad is sending someone to pick me up. I’ll be fine tonight, I promise. But I’m gonna start walking because I don’t want you mixed up in any of this when they get here.”

Jisung tries to argue but lets you go when he sees how serious you are. He insists you take a hoodie for warmth so you do. You give him one last wave before you begin the trek down the block, hoping to get far away before your father’s men find you.

You have made it two blocks over when a sleek black car approaches. You start to walk towards it because there is no other reason for a car that nice to be slowing down on a street like this. Only when it gets closer do you realize you the make and model of the car is not one that your father usually uses, and you do not recognize the driver.

Your heart kicks up with a startled, frantic flutter as the car comes to a slow stop not far from you. You swerve, crossing to the other side of the street to avoid it. You try to act nonchalant, reassuring yourself that it is coincidence, that your father’s insanity is seeping into your brain and making you paranoid.

By the time you realize your anxieties are not baseless, it is too late. Not that you stood much of a chance in the first place.

You try running but there are three of them overall, one driver and two armed muscle guys. They chase you down and cover your mouth before you can scream. You kick and jostle but all of Felix’s self-defence lessons fly out of your brain in your panic. Your tears are all used up so you don’t cry. Even terror passes, leaving only nausea in its wake.

It doesn’t feel real, being shoved into the back of a car by men in black suits. This is not something real that happens. This is something your father threatens, something inane and melodramatic, something out of a movie or a book, not real life. Not your life.

Yet here you are, flanked by two strange men while the driver peels across the tarmac. They do not cuff or gag you, simply buckle you into a seatbelt and point a gun at you. You are shaking too bad to do anything useful anyway, and your voice feels clogged in your suddenly dry throat.

They are talking to you but it takes you a minute to register any word, everything fuzzy and out of focus.

“—just be a good girl and co-operate and everything will be fine.”

That is all you hear.

That and the name Miroh.

You try to calm yourself. You think rationally. Miroh has no reason to kill you or even torture you, as far as you know. In all likelihood, he is using you as leverage to get something from your father. That is why your father is always worried about you being taken. He doesn’t talk about damage to you, just his business.

You manage to calm the worst of your shaking. Then the one with the gun yanks on your hair and you jerk away violently.

“She’s better behaved than Miroh said,” he says with a laugh. “Might not even have to take a finger.”

You clutch your hands tightly together, glaring at him, but it just garners more chuckles. The driver laughs too, peering at you through the rear-view mirror.

“Too well behaved,” he suddenly says, eyes narrowing. “You check her pockets?”

It is then you remember your phone. Felix turned on your GPS. They can track where you are going. Felix can track where you are going. If nothing else, you trust that Felix can do something. Felix, Felix, Felix. It is all you can think about. Felix will find you. You will be back with Felix tonight, safe in your shared bed. You are always safe with Felix. You want to be there right now. You can’t even remember how you got here. Your whole day is turning into one blacked out nothingness, a dreary bleak empty before you found yourself in this car hurtling to god-knows-what fate.

The man finds your phone. You try to reach for it but then you feel the gun at your temple and your whole body locks up. You have seen a gun before, many times, but you have never had one pointed at you. You always thought you would be brave, having been around them your whole life. Maybe that is why you are afraid. Your body is trying to protect you, freezing you like it always does.

The man rolls down the window and throws your phone into the wind.

You sit back and close your eyes, willing this nightmare to end. You try to convince yourself that this is your father’s doing, that he is just trying to teach you a lesson. You wouldn’t even be mad. You just want to go home.

But there is no sign of your father’s security team. You pass dozens then hundreds of cars as you leave the residential area and take the highway. None of your father’s vehicles are among them. And how could they be? They can track as far as your phone and then they have nothing. There is no way for them to know where Miroh’s men are taking you. You have no idea what they want. You can’t even cry or panic because your body is shutting itself down in its panic. The periphery of your gaze is obscured in shadow. Their voices fade in and out, rarely directed at you anyway. They seem to know you will not answer. They have experience with this sort of thing.

Of course they do. Miroh is your father’s only equal. Your father does nothing by halves. Miroh would only send the best.

You leave the highway and turn onto a country road out of the city. Wherever they are taking you, it is far and they are unhurried. You have a long time to stew in your anxiety.

You can only see directly in front of you, through the windshield and the rear-view mirror. You stare, willing one of your father’s black cars to appear in it even though you know that will not happen. The only cars are civilian cars and even those begin to disappear as they take side roads to their own destinations. Soon it is just one other car trailing you at a distance. It is a beat-up civilian truck, not very big, a splotchy, peeling burgundy. The rims are muddy from frequent use and little washing.

It is ugly but it could be the last thing you see for a while. It makes you stare more intensely.

You are focussing so hard on the tiny details that you do not even notice it is speeding up. It goes from a distant spot to filling the rear-view in moments.

The driver mumbles a curse to himself, shaking his head and frowning.

“What’s this idiot doing?” he grumbles. “As if we don’t have enough to deal with. Now we got some drunk on the road.”

The truck is swerving, back and forth, then it speeds up and whips past your car. It startles the driver, making him veer a hard right as the truck goes left around him. He shouts a curse even though the other driver can’t hear, the truck already speeding away into the darkness. There are no street lamps on the country road so it completely vanishes, disappearing when it leaves the glow of your headlights.

There is a moment of quiet. A tunnel of light. Darkness around it.

The truck appears again in the middle of it, parked and blocking the entire road lengthwise. The driver shouts another curse and slams on the brakes to stop from barrelling into it.

The whole car lurches with the sudden halt. You snap forward and back again, held down by the seatbelt. The other two hit the seats in front of them, cursing as they fix themselves. The weapons guy drops his gun and it clatters somewhere on the ground of the vehicle. You watch him dive down, cursing to himself before he finds it.

“Get him out of the way!” the driver shouts, pointing to the stopped vehicle. The two men get out of the car, sounding more aggravated by the obstacle than afraid. The other one pulls a gun so they are both armed as they approach the vehicle.

The men circle the truck. You can see they are yelling and cursing again. They come stomping back over to the vehicle. Even with all the windows rolled up, you can hear him as he shouts, “There’s no one fucking there!”

“What!” the driver returns, pointing ahead. “He didn’t just disappear! Check the—”

He is interrupted by the rattle of unexpected thunder – what sounds like someone running up and over the car from behind. You both look up as if you can see through the car roof. The men outside react just as fast, guns raised. Shots are swiftly fired and you cover your ears, flinching.

The figure comes into view. It feels like your heart stops.

Felix takes a flying leap off the roof of the car and comes swinging into view. He lands on the shoulders of one of the men. In one sharp move, Felix snaps the man’s neck. When his body crumples, Felix jumps, tackling the other man and knocking his gun out of the way. He pulls his own gun out of his waistband and you don’t even have time to cover your eyes before a bullet shatters the man’s temple. That body falls too.

It was a matter of seconds. The driver scarcely has time to react. He is fumbling with the glove compartment when Felix walks up to the car and shoots his window. The bullet does not penetrate the glass but it fractures it, sending shards flying onto the man.

You shriek, your voice coming back to you. Felix smacks the broken window with the butt of the gun, shattering it completely. He unlocks the car, his face devoid of all emotion as he throws open the door and reaches in. He grabs the man by the scruff of his neck and repeatedly slams his head against the steering wheel, knocking him out cold.

He closes the door with a kick and tucks his gun back in his waistband.

Adrenaline completely takes over your body. You do not think or reflect, only feel and act. Felix steps toward the car to open your door but you are already pushing it open. He steps back when it flies past him, already breathing hard when you stumble out of the vehicle on shaky legs.

“Do you have any idea—” he starts, his deep voice breaking. “Any, any idea how worried I was? And those stupid, fucking, incompetent—”

He is pointing to nowhere, just gesticulating in his emotions. It all seems to pour of him, terror and agony, anger and helplessness. He is wearing casual clothes, ripped jeans, a sleeveless red flannel over a t-shirt. He was probably sitting at home when he jumped into action.

His dark roots are starting show in his golden hair. You will have to colour that for him, you think, giddily, half-mad.

“You could have died,” he is saying. “They could have—”

You throw your arms around his neck and crash into him. It is a collision of a kiss, more teeth than lips until you figure out to close your mouth.

Those men could not move him but you can. He backs up under the guiding push of your soft hands, walking, walking, walking, each quick backward step until you have him pressed up against the truck, your lips still locked. When you finally separate it is with a gasping, wet split. You stare at each other, taking in the reality of the other person. Him, with blood disappearing into the red threads of his flannel. You, alive, unharmed, right here in front of him with no one to stop him from kissing you again.

He grabs you by the neck and pulls you back to him, kissing you with an open-mouthed desperation that has you practically sobbing with need. He flips your positions, cupping the back of your head so you are not hurt when he pins you to the truck. You sink your fingers into his hair, wrapping a leg around his waist as he grinds against the softest spot of you. He licks into your mouth, making a rumbling noise of deep, heartfelt satisfaction that makes you throb.

His lips are pink and raw when he stops for a breath. You kiss the side of his face, clinging to him, making a pleading noise when he does not resume kissing you.

He steps back and points to the car.

“Get in the truck,” he says firmly. “This isn’t the time. Don’t argue.”

You have no desire whatsoever to argue. You climb into the passenger seat while Felix makes a phone call. You watch him through the window, running a hand through his hair, his mouth pink, his shirt blood-stained.

You have always known Felix was capable of this sort of thing, but seeing it is very different than imagining it. Before it was some nebulous concept of a person but now the reality of him collides with the boy who has been sharing your bed for years. This is the same boy who needed your help to tie his school tie. Cartoon-watching, computer-building Felix, with his dry wit and toothy smiles.

You are not sure what it says about you that you are not afraid of him, not even a little bit. Maybe it is because you are not surprised. Maybe it is something else. But the only thing you want right now is for him to put his arms around you.

He gets into the truck and sits there for a moment, just breathing as he looks down at his phone. A thought flickers across his eyes, a twitch of his brows, then he turns off the phone and tosses it into the backseat. The gun follows with a clatter. You look back at both then at him with shock.

Felix has never turned off that phone. It is always completely charged and within reach. The GPS cannot be tracked if it is off. Your father cannot reach him if it is off. It is never supposed to be off.

You stare at him, tracing his profile as he pushes his hair back then starts the car. You only look away when you pass the other vehicle, the unconscious driver still slumped over the wheel. You turn your head, watching the scene disappear into the darkness behind you.

“Your father’s men will clean it up,” Felix says, drawing your eyes back to him. He does not look away from the road, resolutely focussed despite the lack of traffic on the country road.

“You left one alive,” you say. “What if he wakes up?”

“Uhh, he’ll be lucky if he is conscious in two days,” Felix says with a scoff. His lips draw into that thin line. “Your father will want someone to interrogate.”

You look out the windshield and sigh. You feel like you have aged years tonight yet it also feels like none of this really happened. It seems impossible that moments ago you were staring through a different windshield, petrified.

Felix looks at you. You turn your head and meet his gaze, watching grief twist his features before he looks ahead again.

“Did they hurt you?” he asks, gripping the wheel tight with both hands.

You shake your head, still facing him, studying him.

“I was thinking about you,” you say, the words escaping in a breathless slur. “It was the only thing that made me feel safe.” You find it easier to speak your feelings after everything. It’s like all that fear blasted through a barricade. You thought you might never see him again and all those feelings were trapped inside you. You cannot help but let them pour out now, like blood seeping from an open wound, your hand shaking as you reach across the console to touch the side of his face.

His breath stutters. He takes your hand and for a moment holds it, squeezing it in his. He does not look away from the road. Eventually he puts your hand in your lap, curling it around your thigh and squeezing, then he grabs the wheel again.

Your gaze drifts to the wheel then the overall truck. The rest of reality comes back to you in increments and you suddenly realize this is obviously not one of your father’s cars.

“Where did you get this truck?” you ask.

“I stole it,” he says.

“You stole a car?!” you shriek, voice naturally pitching up with surprise.

He looks at you incredulously.

“I just killed two men,” he says. “You’re worried about the car?”

“I don’t know!” You slouch in your seat, looking out the window. “Don’t talk to me, I’m traumatized.”

He shakes his head but laughs a little. You do not speak for a bit, the only sound the tires rolling over the gravel road. Then Felix sighs.

“They wouldn’t listen,” he says. “Your father’s, hmmm, ‘professionals’.” He rolls his eyes and clicks his jaw, clearly still pissed about it. “I knew it had to be Miroh. You were heading west to the highway when your GPS stopped. I knew where they’d be taking you. But your father’s geniuses thought you threw your phone and were running. But you wouldn’t do that, yeah. You want to be found. That’s why you run. You want him to care enough to chase you and bring you home.”

You look out your window, resting your head in your hand as rows of dark trees pass you by.

“Home,” you say. “Miroh. Not sure there’s going to be a difference in what’s waiting, is there?”

Felix says nothing to this. The gravel road comes to an end as you approach tarmac. Instead of turning left to return to the highway, Felix turns right. You look back through the window, confused, wondering if you mistook your location. But no, you are definitely driving further into the countryside.

“The highway is that way,” you say, looking at him. His whole body is tense, eyes locked on the road. “Aren’t we going home?”

“Yes,” he says, then turns up a different country road. “Eventually.”

You do not know what to expect with Felix. His emotional fluctuation is not as blatant as yours, but he does waver unpredictably, one moment leaning towards you and then pulling away. You do not know what he is planning and you do not ask. You simply stare through the window as you turn up a few more roads, getting further and further from the main road until you turn into a small gravel lane between some fields. Bushes surround the car on either side, the main road very far behind you.

Felix turns off the car but keeps both hands on the wheel, still staring intensely out the front window.

“Where are we?” you ask, squinting through the dark at the fields. It feels exceptionally quiet without the engine running.

“This cannot happen again,” Felix says.

He is still facing forward, concentrating on nothing that you can see. You look ahead then back at him, sighing with exasperation. If he drove you out here to just to lecture you some more…

“I know,” you say. “I shouldn’t have left in the first place. I’m sorry. I know it’s your job to—”

“This has nothing to do with my job,” he says. He shakes his head. “I— You—Do you understand how I— This is— This is reckless. Stupid. It cannot happen again, yeah? Do you get me?”

“I know,” you say. “And it won’t. I get it. No more running, I just—”

Your breath catches when he looks at you. There is so much heat in his gaze that you feel immediately flushed.

He undoes his seatbelt then reaches across the console and undoes yours. When you hear the click, it all registers. You reach for him as he wraps a hand around the back of your neck and pulls. This kiss is a crash as well, but a stumbling one, less vicious than thirsty. Arms get tangled in seatbelts but he manages to whip them aside. He guides you into his lap as you climb ungracefully over the console with all your shaking limbs.

You make a sound like relief when you are in his lap, chests touching, knees pressing into his hips, arms around his neck. His hands are under your borrowed hoodie, then under your shirt, palms splayed against the bare skin of your back as he kisses you with a wet open mouth, hungry and seeking, asking and taking.

He reaches to the side and fumbles for something. You squeal with surprise when the seat abruptly drops, your combined weight pushing it flat when he flips the lever. The surprise passes and he spills back, taking you with him. He yanks at your hoodie and you sit up to pull your arms through. Embarrassingly enough, you get tangled trying to remove it at the same time as your shirt. You get them both off, laughing shyly and feeling ridiculous with your ungraceful action.

He blinks up at you, his face full of much more wonder and affection than you think you merit. It is almost more embarrassing than your clumsiness.

Your awkward hand covers your collarbone but he takes that hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing you palm then your fingertips. You throb with the recollection of the last time he took your fingers in his mouth, except this time he doesn’t look away, all that heat centred on you.

He grasps your hips then slides his hands up your body. You wonder if other people feel like one big shivering mess at such simple touches. You blame it on today’s chaotic episode. For a moment, you were nothing and no one, floating in a bleak emptiness with no past or future. Just a bartering tool, business collateral, a thing sitting in a car for transport to be used by a different bad man for financial leverage.

Felix touches you and your body comes to life, all that humanity rushing back. You’re a person and so is he, flushed and excited, just a little messy but earnest. You find yourselves in a stolen moment in a stolen car, nothing yours but each other.

He palms your breasts through your bra then fumbles with the clasp, his usually dexterous hands suddenly jumpy. It makes you both laugh, tittering little sounds as you get it off and toss it aside. His calloused hands on your bare skin erases any lingering embarrassment.

Straddling his hips, you rock against him. The hard line of him is pushing at the fly of his jeans, as receptive and eager as you. You make similar sounds, soft low hums, used to keeping quiet. You remember you don’t have to restrain yourself so you moan when he cups you through your shorts, grinding the heel of his palm against the soft wet heat of you. You push his shirt up, running your hands over his chest, noticing a few scars but not lingering much right now.

You touch him like he touches you, hands wandering, working each other up until you are wild in your wanting. He makes a rough sound when you squeeze him through his jeans, then he is trying to work off your shorts while you unbutton his fly. You have to get off him to take the rest of your clothes off. His fingers are twitchy as they scrabble over his fly, unzipping then shuffling his jeans down his hips.

You are confronted with that moment of intention again, when his jeans are at his knees and his shirt is pushed up, when you are completely naked in a car in the middle of nowhere and climbing back on top of him, making the deliberate choice to do what you are doing. It is exhilarating. It is scary. You have big fears, about the repercussions in the world outside this vehicle, and you have little fears, like what if you are not good at this and you let him down after everything.

But that seems impossible when he looks at you like that, warm and desirous, breathing hard as he drags his fingers down your body and slips them between your thighs. You touch him too, marvelling in his sounds and faces, the flush of his cheeks, his mussed hair. With just his fingers inside you, he is already looking at you like you are a singular miracle.

It does feel miraculous. When you think of where you started, when you think of who you are, this seems so impossible. But you are here, losing yourself to his steady touch and tender gaze. You grab his wrist, instinctively seeking control when he works you up to an orgasm, making you clench around his fingers. You shudder on top of him, your head tipping back.

“Fuck,” he says, so low and guttural it hardly sounds like a word. Then he says softly, “Sweetheart.” This is accompanied with a long touch inside you, dragging his fingers so slowly, drawing out your orgasm until your whole body feels soft and pliant. You ache with the loss of him when he withdraws his touch, just his thumb rolling across that oversensitive nub of pleasure. Your skin already feels sweaty where you are touching, your hand curled around the length of him as you position yourself above him.

Even with his effort, it is a stretch and burn when you first sink down. You smack a hand on the roof of the truck, scratching your nails over it as you sit in his lap with him inside you.

He curses. His head falls back, his eyes closing.

“Is it okay?” you ask in a strained voice.

He replies, “Ahh…” then, “Uh!” then “Uhhhahh…” then finally, “Yes, yes. God yes.” He lifts his head and looks at where he is inside you, then he looks up at you. “Are you, uh, are you okay?”

His voice is a raspy thing, his face so raw with pleasure that you find yourself giggling in spite of yourself.

“Yeah,” you say on a breath. “Just… a lot.”

He sits up, careful not to jostle you too much. You still feel him moving inside you. When you clench, he makes a sound, but he is not distracted from his mission, cupping the back of your head and bringing you close for a kiss. You sink into it, your hands sliding onto his shoulders as his tongue slips past your lips.

He helps you move, both of you following base instinct and little else. It starts to feel deliriously good. You are light-headed from kissing, worked up from knowing he is as close to you as he possibly can be.

You move slowly, hands roaming over each other. You get his flannel off and toss it into the passenger seat. Then he braces himself to move his hips better, holding you steady. You touch the roof so you don’t hit your head, rolling your hips to meet him. It’s good but not enough and soon he is turning you over, laying you on your back under him. He has to separate from you to get comfortable.

You whine, touching yourself, and he smacks his head hard against the roof with surprise. You laugh, slapping a hand over your mouth while he winces and rubs his head.

“Are you okay?” you ask, still giggling. Fortunately, he chuckles, wincing again for show before sighing.

“Never better,” he says, and takes off his shirt. You are both perspiring and not just from exertion, the car trapping all your combined heat and breathing. The windows have completely fogged over and it shields you completely. You have never felt more safe. You eagerly open your legs to him as he settles on top of you and finds his place again.

You wrap around him, whimpering and moaning and sighing when he finds a rhythm in this position. He cradles you in his arms, rocking into you until you are dizzy with it. He somehow feels deeper and deeper with every motion. He kisses your chest and throat, up to your ear, across your face, your mouth. You kiss him back, hooking your ankles behind his back and pulling him hard against you like you want more.

“Got you,” he murmurs, lips grazing your ear. “Got you, sweetheart.”

He makes you come again, tears springing to your eyes from the sensation of it all. When his breathing gets frantic and his hips erratic, you let him go. You breathe hard under him as he sits back and grabs his discarded flannel, coming into that.

He tosses it aside after, then runs his fingers through his hair as he stares down at you. You slowly sit up and lean in for one more kiss. He obliges, cupping your face and kissing you deeply.

You want to wrap around him again, hold him to your chest and lay there until you are both ready for more.

You take what you can get. This was dangerous, but you have no regrets. Even when you are both dressed and in your own seats, you feel enflamed and alive and glowing.

He tosses his flannel out the window, leaving it on the ground behind you. You roll down the windows and return to the highway. It is a long drive home.

Your father does not punish you. He does not punish Felix in place of you. The house is deathly silent when you arrive home. Your father is in his office and Felix takes you there to see him.

Your father does not even look up from his book. After a moment he asks, “Did they hurt you?”

You shake your head but he isn’t looking at you, so you are forced to find your voice and answer, “No.”

“Good,” he says and turns the page to his book.

You are teetering on the edge of panic all over again, waiting for him to erupt, to throw something at you, to grab you by the hair and give you a beating worse than anything ever before. But he just turns another page to his book, so it’s you that erupts.

“It wasn’t my fault,” you say in a frantic rush. “Hyunjin and I broke up and I was upset so I wanted to see Jisung, that’s it, I just wanted to see my friend. It’s just because—”

Felix puts a hand on your shoulder, trying to stop you from running your mouth when you don’t need to do so. It succeeds in silencing you, your voice breaking. You swallow down a sob.

Your father finally lifts his head. His expression is completely blank. There is no trace of anger, no sadness, no guilt. You do not know what to do when he is like this. He is giving you nothing worth a reaction so all your emotions bubble inside you with nowhere to go, spilling over and scalding you like a boiling pot.

“Go to bed,” your father says. “What’s done is done.”

It is not surprising that you have a nightmare, waking in a fit that even Felix cannot comfort. Your half-asleep mind panics when he grabs you, forgetting who he is. Only when he repeats your name in that sweet, low voice do you remember yourself. You collapse against him, shaking while he strokes your back and talks gently to you, lulling you back to sleep. It remains fitful and uneven but you get through the night.

You are expecting the punishment to come in the morning but your father does not speak to you even though he is in the house. You do not see him all day. You have another restless night of bad dreams, Felix comforting you as best he can. You wake the next morning thinking that surely, the punishment would come today. There is no way your father is letting you get away with this. He is planning something, something big, something you will never forget.

But your father is gone and so is the security team. Felix phones him and your father informs him that he had some impromptu business to take care of, that he would be gone for the next week.

You are driving to school on Monday morning when Felix says, “Maybe he thinks it was punishment enough on its own.”

“Do you really believe that?” you ask.

Felix does not answer because he knows how far-fetched that is. He knows your father as well as you do.

There are only a couple more days of school. This late in the semester, the lessons are completed, exams being graded. Everyone is gearing up for graduation, signing yearbooks, taking pictures. Classes offer more down time than work, letting students mingle. It is easy few handful of days, the most exceptionally fun days of the whole year.

Jisung would not miss it. And he would not abandon you after your conversation. When he is missing from school on Monday, you are immediately filled with horror.

Felix looks at you when he realizes Jisung is missing, doing his best to calm you with his eyes.

“He wouldn’t,” you murmur, just loud enough for Felix to hear. “Tell me he wouldn’t…”

Felix says nothing. He knows your father as well as you do.

You try phoning Jisung at various intervals through the day but it keeps going straight to voicemail. Jisung is not great at keeping his phone charged so this is not unusual on its own, but you cannot shake the dread in the pit of your gut.

Before the day ends, you all but throw yourself at Felix. All it takes is one teary-eyed please for him to nod, understanding.

You have the driver take you to Jisung’s house. Felix steps out of the car and calls your father, needing to report your diversion from routine, but also hopefully gleaning some intel into your father’s potential involvement. Meanwhile, you run up the porch and frantically bang on the door, not stopping until Jisung’s mother whips it open.

“What?” she snaps. “Why are you banging— oh it’s you.”

“Where is he?” you ask. “Is he sick? Can I see him?”

“He’s just at the hospital,” she says like this is no big deal at all, even while you are sweating through your clothes with anxious terror.

“The hospital?” you ask. “Why is he—”

“Calm down! He just had an allergic reaction,” she says. “Stupid child ate peanuts and didn’t have his pen. He’ll be fine.”

“Can you tell me which hospital?” you say. Some tension leaves your body with this revelation but even so, you will not feel truly at ease until you can see that Jisung is safe with your own two eyes.

His mother tells you where to find him and you thank her while she closes the door in your face. You are feeling lighter already, heart bursting with light when you spin and jump off the porch.

You rush up to Felix, eager to report your good news, but you draw to a slow stop at the look on his face. This is not his professional indifference, listening to commands, but instead an expression of obvious remorse. He looks apologetic, eyes full of pity, as he extends his arm, handing you the phone.

You press the device to your ear, heart skipping beats in the worst way.

“Hello?” you say.

“After everything I have done for you,” your father says. “After everything I have given you. After my leniency despite your repeated abominable behaviour. For you to end things with an appropriate boy to go chasing after some no-count, miscreant loser with no future and no—”

“What are you talking about?” you say. “I don’t even know—”

“You stupid little—” You can picture his face, mouth frothing with rage, brows pinched in fury. You can picture him catching his breath as he slams a hand on his desk. “Do you think I couldn’t see it all over your face? That you were out whoring around with that nobody boy you call a friend? I could see your commitment to the Hwang boy was a front but I foolishly thought you were making an effort to improve yourself. How long have you been deceiving me? Fronting with the Hwang boy while you run around with your schoolboy behind my back?”

He thinks you’re dating Jisung. He thinks this is all because of Jisung. You cannot tell him the truth without ruining your life, Felix’s life, and Hyunjin’s life.

You scramble for a defence, a denial, but memories of you and Felix flood your mind, the panic of that night takes over you, and soon you are freezing up.

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” you eventually manage, your voice quivering with the rest of you. “Please, Jisung is completely innocent, he’s just my friend, he—”

“Please,” your father says derisively. “You have the audacity to say please to me now. To ask for my permission now. You listen to me and you listen well. What I did to this boy was nothing. Having an allergen slipped into his food was a warning to you. Your one and only warning, a warning I am only giving you because I prefer not to deal with civilian messes when I can avoid it. But I whole-heartedly assure you, that if I find out you are in contact with this boy, if I find out you are even thinking about looking in his direction, it is over for him. I will have him shot in the fucking head in front of you if that’s what it will take to get through to you.”

You are bombarded with the image of Felix shooting those men. Suddenly, you imagine it is Jisung across from him instead. You look at Felix with a frantic, terrified look. Your voice is weak when you say, “Dad, please, he’s—”

“Do not talk to back me!” he screams. “You spoiled little slut! He’s trash, is what he is! Do you know what kind of life I have given you? How dare you insult me this way. How dare you throw it all on that waste of a person. You go to that boy and you tell him to stay away or it will be the end of him. Do you understand me? Say yes or so help me—”

“Yes,” you say, sucking in a hard breath to keep your tears at bay. “Yes, fine, just leave him alone. Don’t hurt him, please.”

Your father hangs up without another word.

You look up at Felix. He takes the phone, sucking in a breath of his own.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“It’s not your fault,” you say.

Jisung is sitting up in his hospital bed when you find him. His phone is a dead brick sitting on his bedside table, uncharged as anticipated. He is sipping from a carton and watching television when you walk into the room, surprising him. His face lights up with delight and he chokes on his drink, dribbling a bit down his front.

You hurry to his side, worried, but he just laughs and wipes his chin.

“Hey, hey, don’t worry,” he says. “It was just a flare-up. They’re just keeping me for observation to make sure I don’t, you know, suffocate and die in my sleep.” He says this like it is ridiculous and funny but you are overwhelmed with the image of Jisung lying still in this bed, all the life and colour of your wonderful and vibrant best friend drained to nothing.

Jisung can see something is wrong. The humour falls from his expression, replaced with concern as he sees you well up with tears.

“Hey,” he says, softer. “I said I’m fine. Don’t worry. Is this about something else? Are you okay?”

You are not crying but you can feel the emotion in your throat. If you speak, you think it will pour out in a flood. You can only sit there, perched on the edge of his bed, staring at him. He still looks strange without his hat. Although he is joking around, there is an admitted pallor to his complexion. He is on the mend but he has clearly been very ill for a day at least.

That pallor and serious expression look so wrong on his face. When you think of Jisung, you think of happiness, the first burst of sunshine in your life after growing up in shade. You think about his awkward laughter during your first conversation, his many hugs, his stupid jokes, his winks and encouragements. You did not know how to love anyone or anything until you met him.

In your silence, he looks around, spotting Felix hovering in the doorway.

“Felix!” he says. “Hey! What’s going on?”

“Hey,” Felix says gently. He looks at you, sees your downturned face as you gather yourself. He smiles at Jisung with his best distracting grin, like everything is fine, like everything has always been fine. “Just saying bye, man,” Felix says.

“Bye?” Jisung asks. “Where are you going? Right before grad? Not back to Australia, are you?” Jisung looks at you and pets your head. “Is Felix leaving? Is that why you’re upset?”

“No, Jisung,” you say, forcing your voice. You shake your head. “No, it’s not Felix. I just…” You look up and meet his eyes, so big and concerned. You see him at age twelve, thirteen, fourteen, all those years he coaxed you out of your shell and ran around with you. He was the first person to look back at you, to see something worth reaching for. You want to touch his face and hug him, but you are certain if you start any of that, you will not be able to do what you need to do. “Jisung, I’m leaving,” you say. “I won’t be able to see you again.”

“What?” he asks, confused for just a moment before he shakes his head and frowns. “This is about your dad, isn’t it? Is he doing something? You have to let me help you—”

“Jisung, you can’t help me—”

“Yes, I can—”

“You can’t—”

“Then who’s going to?” he demands.

“Not you!” Anger and sadness combine and you look away, staring at the crinkled juice carton on his bedside table. He is here because of you. “Jisung, he made you sick. He will try to kill you.”

“What?” Jisung asks, barely above a whisper. “H-how? I don’t even—”

“He has professionals,” you say, meeting his bewildered gaze again. “And he can do much worse than this.”

Jisung opens and closes his mouth, failing to find the words, then finally he shakes his head and says, “No. I don’t care. I’m not scared, I’m—”

“I’m scared,” you say. “Jisung, I don’t want to see you ever again, because if something happened to you—” You cannot conceive of a world where this is no Han Jisung. You would not be the person you are now if he had never existed. You would not have any emotions at all. For the first time, you do not curse your sensitive feelings, rather you relish in feeling them at all, that you have a friend that it hurts to lose. “Jisung, please,” you say. “Don’t make this harder for me. I’m going to go and we can’t see each other again. The best thing you can do for me is have a good life.”

Jisung starts crying, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes.

“That’s not fair,” he says. “What about you? What am I supposed to do?”

“I’m sorry,” you say. You laugh dryly, looking aside. “It would have been better for you if you never knew me.”

“You already know that’s not true,” he says in a small voice.

You are certain his face is full of pain but you cannot bring yourself to look at him again. You try to say the word goodbye but it gets stuck in your throat, so finally you just stand up to leave.

He grabs your arm, tugging you back. You stare at the bed, not at him.

“I said my promise was forever,” he says. “I don’t care if it’s in five years, or ten years, or fifty. I know I’m not—I know I can’t do much but—if you need me—”

You just nod, scrunching your face to stop the tears. It does not work. You pull your arm away and he lets you go, his hands falling helplessly limp to the bed. You stare at the ground as you walk away, not looking back at him, not even looking at Felix.

You are standing in the doorway when Jisung says your name one more time, barely more than a whisper yet stopping you faster than all your father’s screaming.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” he says.

You look up at Felix. You know when you leave this place, you are going to take his hand. When you climb into bed tonight, you are going to wrap your arms around him and let him hold and comfort you. You are going to soothe his nightmares the way he does yours. You are going to carve out a corner of light and happiness in your otherwise dark life. You are going to do that because you know how, because having a friend made all the difference.

“Oh, Jisung,” you say, wiping your face. “You did save me.”

You do not stop again, walking past Felix and into the corridor. He follows swiftly behind, laying a hand on your lower back then taking your hand. You squeeze it and he squeezes back. You let him guide you out of the building, your vision blurry. He knows there is nothing he can say to help right now, but he touches you gently and helps you along. When you get home, he trails behind you as you trudge up the stairs to the bedroom.

“Can I do something?” he asks.

You shake your head. “Not right now, thank you.” Your voice is still weak. “Maybe later.”

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll be here.”

You nod and continue up the stairs, not even sure what your plan is right now. It feels strange to go about your usual routine but that is what you do, your body carrying you automatically through each task, changing clothes, putting your uniform away, washing your face.

You sit at your desk and decide you might as well go through your stack of school supplies. You have been dumping textbooks and notebooks here as the semester ends. You sort the empty notebooks from the used ones, the books you will never re-read from the ones to shelve. You find your yearbook in the middle of it all. You realize you never actually read Jisung’s message.

You open the book, skimming the other messages from other students. Lots of Have a Great Summer from Hyunjin’s friends, but a few cute personalized memos too. Felix’s joking scrawl is at the bottom of a page and it makes you smile and shake your head. You smile again when you read Hyunjin’s note: Our lives will not be meaningless. He ended it with a playful, LOVE YOU MY GIRLFRIEND!!

You flip through the book. You were not in any clubs or on any teams so there are very few pictures of you, just your posed portrait and one photo on a collage page – you, Jisung, and Felix awkwardly smiling as the yearbook photographer snapped a picture of you at lunchtime.

You swallow. You already know turning to the last page is going to make you cry. You could avoid it. You could close this book and never think about it again. Your father would never walk into any situation that would deliberately compromise his mental and emotional integrity. He would deride you for doing so. You used to think he was right, that your feelings were a weakness.

You realize your feelings make him weak, not you. He wants you to be a robotic doll, devoid of feelings, blindly obedient, but you are not. You will never strive to be that.

You flip to the final page, filled with Jisung’s writing. You smile and cry and curse out your father, then close the book and hug it to your chest, your heart beating steadily where you cradle it close.

To the bestest most awesome girl in the world (not just saying that because you’re the only girl I know) from the bestest most awesome boy in the world (including your evil boyfriend, sorry!)

Usually it’s easy for me to put my thoughts in writing but I’m drawing a blank. How can I tell you in words how important your friendship is when that friendship is made up of more than words? I never thought I’d be someone who runs off to parties or sneaks out onto rooftops, and I never thought I’d have so many friends. Thank you for giving me the world. I hope we can keep exploring it together. I know no matter what, we’ll still be friends, even if we’re far away after school ends. Our parents might suck and we might be kinda weird as hell, but we have each other and that counts for something. We loved each other first so no matter what else happens that will be always true. Boyfriends will come and go but your best friend is forever!! And you know I’ll be ready with a shovel if anyone breaks your heart. I know it’s sappy to say, but it’s always safe with me.

Times might be hard and we might drift apart, but I know we’ll see each other again and it will be like we never left. Take care of yourself if I’m not there. Keep fighting!!! Nothing will be impossible for you.

Your best friend now + always,

Han Jisung ♡

#skz smut #stray kids smut #lee felix smut #lee felix x reader #felix x reader #skz x reader

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