#and then i think she asked for my email so we could keep talking after the show

[godofsmallthings]

had a taylor dream last night 🥰

#she was playing like a ~1000 cap school auditorium type vibe #and i was barricade #and she played love story and the crowd was not into it bc we were so burnt out on it from eras #and then at intermission i ran into her at the gift shop and asked her about #fair use of her image in merch and she couldn't answer my questions #so then i had to placate her and be like dw i know you're knowledgeable about music business #and then i think she asked for my email so we could keep talking after the show #dreams #first one in a min that didn't involve her dying so that's fun #it's so funny because she's always so like sensitive and aloof in my dreams. which is not at all how i would guess her to be irl #it's just interesting that that's what my subconscious conjures #i need to start keeping a dream journal fr #vi is typing...

[cookinguptales]

You know... I had an experience about two months ago that I didn't talk about publicly, but I've been turning it over and over in my mind lately and I guess I'm finally able to put my unease into words.

So there's a podcast I'd been enjoying and right after I got caught up, they announced that they were planning on doing a live show. It's gonna be near me and on the day before my birthday and I thought -- hey, it's fate.

But... as many of you know, I'm disabled. For me, getting to a show like that has a lot of steps. One of those steps involved emailing the podcasters to ask about accessibility for the venue.

The response I got back was very quick and very brief. Essentially, it told me to contact the venue because they had no idea if it was accessible or not.

It was a bucket of cold water, and I had a hard time articulating at the time quite why it was so disheartening, but... I think I get it a little more now.

This is a podcast that has loudly spoken about inclusivity and diversity and all that jazz, but... I mean, it's easy to say that, isn't it? But just talking the talk without walking the walk isn't enough. That's like saying "sure, we will happily welcome you in our house -- if you can figure out how to unlock the door."

And friends, my lock-picking set is pretty good by this point. I've been scouting out locations for decades. I've had to research every goddamn classroom, field trip, and assigned bookstore that I've ever had in an academic setting. I've had to research every movie theater, theme park, and menu for every outing with friends or dates. I spend a long time painstakingly charting out accessible public transportation and potential places to sit down every time I leave the house.

Because when I was in college, my professors never made sure their lesson plans were accessible. (And I often had to argue with them to get the subpar accommodations I got.) Because my friends don't always know to get movie tickets for the accessible rows. Because my dates sometimes leave me on fucking read when I ask if we can go to a restaurant that doesn't keep its restrooms down a flight of stairs.

I had one professor who ever did research to see if I could do all the coursework she had planned, and who came up with alternate plans when she realized that I could not. Only one. It was a medical history and ethics class, and my professor sounded bewildered as she realized how difficult it is to plan your life when you're disabled.

This woman was straight-up one of the most thoughtful, philosophical, and ethical professors I've ever had, one who was incredibly devoted to diversity and inclusion -- and she'd never thought about it before, that the hospital archives she wanted us to visit were up a flight of stairs. That the medical museum full of disabled bodies she wanted us to visit only had a code-locked back entrance and an old freight elevator for their disabled guests who were still breathing.

And that's the crux of it, isn't it? It's easy to theoretically accept the existence of people who aren't like you. It's a lot harder to actively create a space in which they can exist by your side.

Because here's what I did before I contacted the podcasters. I googled the venue. I researched the neighborhood and contacted a friend who lives in the area to help me figure out if there were any accessible public transportation routes near there. (There aren't.) I planned for over an hour to figure out how close I could get before I had to shell out for an uber for the last leg of the trip.

Then I read through the venue's website. I looked through their main pages, through their FAQs to see if there was any mention of accessibility. No dice. I download their packet for clients and find out that, while the base building is accessible, the way that chairs/tables are set up for individual functions can make it inaccessible. So it's really up to who's hosting the show there.

So then and only then I contacted the podcasters. I asked if the floor plan was accessible. I asked if all the seats were accessible, or only some, and whether it was open seating or not. Would I need to show up early to get an accessible seat, or maybe make a reservation?

And... well, I got the one-sentence reply back that I described above. And that... god, it was really disheartening. I realized that they never even asked if their venues were accessible when they were booking the shows. I realized that they were unwilling to put in the work to learn the answers to questions that disabled attendees might have. I realized that they didn't care to find out if the building was accessible.

They didn't know and they didn't care. That, I think, is what took the wind out of my sails when they emailed me back. It's what made me decide that... yeah, I didn't really want to go through the trouble of finding an accessible route to the venue. I didn't want to have to pay an arm and a leg to hire a car to take me the last part of the journey. I didn't want to make myself frantic trying to figure out if I could do all that and still make the last train home.

If they didn't care, I guess I didn't either.

If they'd apologized and said that the only venue they could get was inaccessible, I actually would have understood. I know that small shows don't always get their pick of venues. I get it. I even would have understood if they'd been like "oh dang, I actually don't know -- but I'll find out."

But to be told that they didn't know and didn't intend to find out... oof. That one stung.

Because.... this is the thing. This is the thing. I may be good at it by now, but I'm so tired of picking locks. I'm tired of doing all the legwork because no one ever thinks to help me. I'm tired of feeling like an afterthought at best, or at worst utterly unwelcome.

If you truly want to be inclusive, you need to stop telling people that you're happy to have them -- if they can manage to unlock the door. You need to fucking open it yourself and welcome them in.

What brought all this back to me now, you may be asking? Well... I guess it's just what I was thinking to myself as I was tidying up my phone.

Today I'm deleting podcasts.

#I guess it did save me a lot of money #I'll still probably go up to nyc to visit with friends for my bday but I won't go all the way out to brooklyn for the show #and I probably won't need to get the hotel room #and I DEFINITELY won't be supporting their patreon like I was planning lmao #I'll buy myself a new tarot deck for my birthday instead #cw: #disability #ableism

[thebibliosphere]

"But you're so successful without it."

Content warning: This post contains mentions of suicidal ideation.

I got a message earlier tonight that I'm not going to post, but I did ask the person involved if I could talk about what we subsequently ended up talking about in DMs because I feel it's important.

Basically, it was along the lines of "My kid got diagnosed with ADHD and really wants to try meds. I know from reading your blog that correct treatment for ADHD can be really beneficial, but I just don't think she's severe enough to need them."

The message then went on to ask me, as someone who is unmedicated with ADHD, for some tricks and tips on how to be successful without medication because clearly, look how well I'm doing without them. I mean, look at my blog, look at my book(s)! Surely if I can do all that without ADHD meds, other people can too. Surely there's a trick. A skill. Something you can learn if you just try hard enough...

This is not the first time I have received a message like this. In fact, I probably get about 2-5 messages like this a week.

Usually from other people who also have ADHD/suspect ADHD but don't want medication because they don't think they need it/don't want to need it, and yet can't figure out why they're struggling so much, and ask me how do I do the thing(s) and cope so well and get so much done, etc., etc.

So I'm going to tell you what I told this person tonight in case it helps someone. Yes, I have ADHD. No, I am not medicated due to severe health complications, and yes, I get a lot done. From the outside, I am sure it looks incredibly productive and successful. But I'm going to let you in on what that success feels like.

It feels like dying.

It feels like my brain is on fire; every nerve in my body scraped raw; every part of me wired and exposed to the noise of the world. There is no quiet; there is no calm. And even when my brain does fall silent, it's another kind of death. The inside of my head is sludge, flowing uphill like treacle, weighing me down, pulling me under in the riptide of my inability to focus. I can see what needs to be done, I can see it so clearly, yet sometimes it's like I don't control my own body. Not enough dopamine. Not enough brain chemicals for the message I'm screaming in my head to make my limbs do the simplest of tasks. Like, feed myself. Take a shower. Answer that email. Text my friends back. Go to bed when I'm tired. Write a best-selling novel...

A novel that almost killed me and not because of my other ailments, but because of my unmedicated ADHD.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I was already operating at critical mass when I went into final rewrites/edits. Every coping mechanism I had fell apart. Like training wheels falling off a tricycle, leaving me to wobble unsteadily until the main wheels fell off, swiftly followed by the handlebars until all that was left was me peddling frantically trying to keep my balance and not getting anywhere. I didn't realize it then, but I was heading towards a complete mental collapse. And even when I dragged myself across the finish line with the above and beyond help provided by my friends and editors, I was so burned out I couldn't enjoy my success. Worse, my success made me suicidal.

It took me until very recently, almost two years later, to be able to read Phangs without feeling suicidal. My brain associated it with the trauma of experiencing complete ADHD burnout but having to complete a monumental task anyway.

I had to go into intensive therapy to recover. I am still in intensive therapy for it.

It took me even longer after that to be able to sit down and write without harming myself. I still struggle with it, and I tell you this in all honest sincerity in the hope it makes you realize what it costs me to be "successful" and unmedicated.

And this wasn't the first time I've had to deal with this, either.

I struggled all through high school, all through college, all through every career job I ever had, knowing there was something wrong, but not quite being able to put my finger on it because hey, I still got stuff done, so it couldn't be that bad, right? Surely everyone went through life feeling this way? Right?

...right?

It wasn't until I got my ADHD diagnosis as an adult that I realized what was happening. Why I struggled so much. Why life was so hard. In many ways, it was like the sun coming up. An internal dawning of realization and acceptance, but also rage.

So much rage.

Rage at how much I'd had to struggle because no one noticed because I was quiet and undisruptive. Rage at a system that forced me to learn in ways that were not intuitive to my brain. To always being told, "doesn't apply herself" while it felt like I was clawing my brain apart trying to do what people wanted from me. To a work-life balance, that rewards all the things that make ADHD actively worse. Rage. So much rage it hurts. And to top it all off, I can't be medicated for it. I finally know what's different, I finally know why my world feels raw and turned inside out, and I can't take any of the medications that might help me.

Do you know how angry I wake up every day that there is a possible solution just within my grasp, but my health conditions prevent me from trying them? Do you know how much it hurts? How much I grieve for the person I could be if I was able to have help beyond therapy and coaching? How much happier I could be...

Not productive. Not successful. Happy.

So ask yourself, what do you want more? A child who has to go through all of this and resents you for prolonging their suffering? Who winds up hating themselves by internalizing the false concept that if they just try hard enough, they can do whatever they set their mind to.

Or do you want to help them?

Or if this is you, why are you afraid to help yourself?

Please, don't use me as an example to harm yourself or others. Yes, I am successful without medication. But the toll is high. Too high.

Rid yourself of the idea that you need to suffer more to be allowed help. You don't. They don't. No one does.

#adhd #adult adhd #actually adhd #chronic health tag #suicide mention #suicidal ideation #long post #mental health #I am not for you to bludgeon other people with #kindly desist

[mrslankyman]

Sinfully Gorgeous pt. 2

Vox x (fem) over lord reader

Smut

Word count: 5K

Working on: Part 3

3 weeks. 

It had been 3 weeks since you shot that porno with Vox. So why in the HELL was everyone in HELL still raving over it?!

It wasn’t anything special.

It was a brand deal and that was it. It wasn’t like you knew it was going to be Vox. Valentino stated after the shoot he chose Vox since it would boost you both. Sure it did but at what cost?

Your phone was flooded with texts and emails from sinners asking if you and Vox were a thing.

Have you joined the Vees?

Were you and Vox fucking on the low?

How long were you two together?

All these questions were getting to your head and making you sick. 

You laid back in your expensive bed. The silky pillows that most sinners could never afford comforting your head. Phone in hand you scrolled through your feed. Vox’s news show popped. 

“Top of the hour sinners. Today we will be discussing the ongoing discussion that I and I'm sure our lovely {Y/N} is seeing too.” He clasped his hands together and turned to the screen in front of him that was showing photos of sinners questions.  

“Has {Y/N} joined the Vees?” He read aloud. “No she has not, though I would not be opposed to the idea.” He chuckled, sending a wink to the camera. 

You groaned and fast forward on the video stopping when a clip of the porno popped up on the screen. Curious of what he would say about it. You hadn’t talked to him since a day after that was filmed. 

“How did it feel to fuck the {Y/N}?” He chuckled as he read that aloud. A smirk crawled onto his face. “Well folks I’ll tell ya. It was better than any sex I myself have ever had.” He leaned forward covering half his mouth with the side of his hand. “A little secret for you all, she has the tightest pussy you’ll ever fuck in hell.” He laughed leaning back. “Yes folk it’s true she was definitely a virgin and safe to say I took that card from her.” His cocky laugh echoed in your head. 

He took your virginity? 

What was he a fucking idiot?

Embarrassing you on Hell's public news. 

You were not a virgin, far from it and for this cocky ass tv faced man to state he was the lucky one to take it from you made you seeth. 

You instantly opened up your messages and searched his name in your contact. Typing out a text. Fingers flying across the screen as anger edged in every digital word typed. 

{You}: who in the HELL do you think you are? Saying you took my virginity on the fucking news? Real mature of you. What the fuck are we teenagers in high school. If you ever fucking do something like this again I will make sure you and your little fucking news channel are never broad casted again. 

{Vox}: Wow, didn't suspect you to see it so soon. What's the matter, I was just messing around. I bet it was the best sex you’ve ever had, why not say your best was also your first? 

{You}:oh were cocky as fuck huh? You really think you were the best? Keep dreaming. 

{Vox}: I must have been something for you to go off script. 

{You}: fuck you, you went off script as well. 

{Vox}: oh you wanna fuck me again? Maybe I'll make it an even better time, we can make our own script. 

{You}: you know what I meant. Never fucking mention me on your little show again. It was a one time deal. 

{Vox}: aren’t you just a ball of sunshine. Whatever you say darling. I’ll erase that part of the segment from the show and their memories. 

{You}: good, the only time your fucking mind control has been used for an actual purpose. 

{Vox}: Or I can just keep it up. You know you’re not being very kind. 

{You}: oh fuck off this is hell. I don’t need to be kind to the man who just publicly embarrassed me. 

{Vox}: and the man who publicly pleasured you. 

{You}: just take it down. 

{Vox}: yes ma’am. 

You groaned and turned your phone off. Throwing it to the floor and laying down fully. Pulling the covers over your head and closing your eyes. Sleeping the anger and annoyance off. 

—

Your alarm buzzed in the morning. You groaned and woke up grabbing your phone from the floor and turning it off. But not before you saw the message from Alastor. 

“You’re a virgin?”

That fucker didn’t delete the segment!

You dashed around your house putting on an outfit and doing your make up the fastest you had ever. Your shoes were on in seconds and out the door you went. 

You called a cab and got in, instructing them to take you to the Vees tower. Of course you know the consequences of this.

Everyone would assume you were going to see Vox in a different way. When in reality his ass was going to get a fist in his screen. 

The cab dropped you off and you paid them before getting out. Marching up to the front of the building. A few people looked over. Snapping pictures and videos. You rolled your eyes and pressed the buzzer on the door. 

“Who is it?” Voxs voice played through the small speaker.

“{Y/N}.” The second you said your name the doors opened. You smirked slightly and headed inside jumping as the doors closed behind you harshly. 

“Vox! Where the fuck are you we need to have a talk!” You yelled walking around the lobby looking for any sign of him. Footsteps echoed down the hall and there he was. A smile on his stupid flat screened face. 

“Ah {Y/N} So nice of you to stop by-” You grabbed him by his suit's flaps and slammed him against the wall. A groan escaped his lips and his screen displayed a loading circle before his eyes came back. 

“You asshole, I told you to take that segment down!” You screamed in his face without giving a second to think. “Do you know who the fuck I am?! I will end you!” You leaned into his face. Your spit landing on his screen. He glared at you but on the inside he was loving the attention. 

Your hands on him was enough to make him melt. But he had to be sure not to display it too much. Or you’d let go and call him weird. 

“You can end me anytime you want.” His words were smooth and flirtatious. He obviously did not understand the gravity of the situation he was in. 

“You do not wanna fuck with me Vox.” You warned re-shoving him against the wall. He grunted and grabbed your arms. “You know I would love to fuck with you.” He chuckled, eyeing you with a smirk. “You little-” Your grip tightened on him getting ready to shove him again. 

“{Y/N}!” He yelled his right eye widening as he used his mind control on you. You froze your eyes going wide. Your grip on him faltered as you shook your head. The daze wears off. 

“Why don’t you calm down?” He offered, pulling your arms down from his suit. “Don’t use that fucking mind control shit on me.” You pulled your arms away from him. He sighed and rested his hand on his hips. “Yes ma’am.” His voice was full of annoyance now. 

“Delete the segment. That’s all I want. I’ll leave you alone and you do the same.” You held out your hand. “Deal?” You tilted your head, pink fire appearing around your palm. 

“No deals. I just promise I will. I’m no idiot. I know how you pull strings.” He pushed your hand away, the fire disappearing. You groaned and pulled your hand back. 

“Very well.” You nodded even though a part of you knew he would never take that segment down fully. 

“I’ll go delete it.” He fixed his tie, closing his eyes. “Good.” You said before a ding came from your phone. You held it up. “At Voxs darling?” Alastor had texted. A part of you hated Charlie for getting him onto this phone kick. He was so against technology until he was told he could text you whenever. 

Vox opened one eye as he heard the ding. He eyed you and read the text. The words Darling and Alastor made his circuits spark. Why in the hell did that old timey prick have your number? 

“I better leave before everyone in hell assumes we're seeing each other. I do not need that in my life.” You shoved your phone in your pocket. Looking up at Vox whose face had a rather.. Concerning smile displaying. 

He let out a laugh though it glitched. He stepped closer to you. His hand grabbed your arm pulling you to him. “Why the fuck is the radio demon texting you?” His voice deepened. Eyes squinting as he grabbed your phone from your pocket. 

“Hey!- what the fuck.” You squirmed in his grip. A tsk tsk came from him as he used his eye to unlock your phone. Reading you and Alastors messages. Anger surged through him as you both had been sending jokes about him. His grip on you tightened and he squeezed your phone in his other hand till it shattered into pieces. 

“Vox what the fuck!-” You watched as he broke your phone, your attention being snapped back to his face as he slammed you up against the wall this time. 

He laid his arm next to your head on the wall and his other hand gripped your neck.  

“I’m not taking the segment down. You wanna talk shit about me to that damn radio demon go ahead. I'll say whatever I want about you. You are nothing to me.” His words were low and strung out. His eyes were wide and red drool dripped from his mouth. Though his grip on your neck was tight it wasnt hard enough to really choke you out. 

That was one thing he did not want to do. 

He was pissed off but not necessarily at you. The idea that Alastor got more of your attention than him is what pissed him off. He knew it was such a stupid thing to be mad over.

But he wanted you. Even if he had to pretend he didn’t. 

Your eyes squinted and you squirmed under him. Truthfully he didn’t scare you. This position didn’t make you feel threatened, it made you feel.. Other things. 

In a dark and twisted way his anger really made you think of that shoot. How his hands gripped your sides and he’d moan before glitching out. 

“If you wanna scare me you’re gonna have to try harder than this.” You grabbed his face. Your hand pulling him closer. “Cause all I can think about is you glitching out before you cummed inside me.” Your words made his screen display a light shade of red. 

“I-”

“You want that again hmm?” You kissed his screen. “Want to feel my tight pussy as you said? I guess since it was the best I’ve ever had you’d think I would’ve been begging you for more.” You whispered, making your voice low and seductive. His grip faltered as his screen turned red. His eyes drooped as you talked to him sensually. 

“Too bad I wasn’t.” You cooed, kicking him in the crotch. He groaned and keeled over. Holding his crotch in his hands. “Fuck fuck fuck..” He groaned in pain as you stepped over him. 

“You owe me a phone.” You spat on his withering form and walked out.

–-

Safe to say he gave you a new phone. That part of the segment was erased. To your knowledge from the general public of hell. Knowing Vox he probably cut it from half the people's memories and kept it in the other to confuse them. 

What an ass hole. 

Today you were off to Alastor's radio tower. He wanted to have you on this new segment he was working on. Whatever that meant. 

You had made it to the Hazbin Hotel. Charlie showed you to Alastors tower. You thanked her and headed inside. He greeted you and showed you the different buttons and the mic. Getting you accustomed to the technology before having a seat with you. 

Not having a camera in your face was both relaxing and strange. This seemed more like a conversation you were having with a friend that just so happened to be recorded. 

“Today I am here with my dear friend {Y/N}.” Alastor spoke into his mic. Smiling your way as you said hello. 

“So why don’t you tell everyone what it’s like to be the fashion overlord?” He handed you his mic. Urging you to introduce yourself further. 

After the basic introduction was done he began to ask you questions. It slowly became clear to you what he was doing. 

“What is your opinion on Vox?” He smirked and leaned your way. That question made you groan.

“That man? Come now Alastor. You know he isn’t something to talk about.” You leaned back in your chair and your reply made Alastor chuckle. 

“Go on dear. Just tell us about him.” He leaned the mic closer to you. 

“Fine.” You took the mic and leaned up. 

“Vox is something. Not the kind of something you’d want either. He is terrible in bed.” You snickered at the idea that Vox would be listening to you. “Oh is he now? I do believe we all saw that video dear. It seems the opposite.” He eyed you a shit eating grin on his face. 

“That’s what a script is for.” You sneered. 

“There's a theory you went off script. After all that Valentino did post it.” He checked his claws smirking. 

You groaned as Alastor was just doing this to stir drama. He hated Vox but loved to mess with you. So he was playing both ways. 

“Anyways, besides that he is a prick and snoops on everyone. He is fucking insane but I suppose that’s why he’s here. If you are thinking about trying to get with that man please do so he will leave me alone.” You handed the mic back to Alastor. He was holding in his laugh. “Thank you dear for your lovely insight on that clout chasing mediocre video podcasts.” He ended the broadcast and sighed.   

—

About 4 hours after the broadcast a ding sounded from your phone. Either it was Alastor or some random person. 

You checked the message and groaned as the name displayed on your screen. 

Vox.

Of course. 

You slid open your phone and sat down on your couch to answer him. 

{Vox}: doing a broadcast with the radio demon to degrade me? Really. After you begged me to delete your segment.

{You}: what's the matter? Thought you liked being degraded 

{Vox}: I'm not doing this. I’m gonna have to make you understand. 

{You}: oh really? Why don’t you just face that you suck in bed and you suck even more as a person. 

{Vox}: I suck in bed? Oh sweet heart. I don’t believe that's what you truly think. 

{Vox has sent a video} 

You pressed play, wishing you didn’t as a clip from the porno played. You were riding him moaning his name and begging him to go faster. His fingers digging into your sides as he rammed into you on your command. 

{You}: have to give the audience what they want.

{Vox}: oh yeah? What if there wasn’t an audience? 

{You}: then none of that would’ve happened. I’d be as quiet as a mouse.

{Vox}: we’ll see about that. 

{You}: what's that mean? 

:seen 3 minute ago: 

“Bitch.” You turned your phone off and laid down on the couch. Letting your mind wander back to the shoot. Perhaps you did enjoy him a little more than you’d like to admit. But you’d never tell him that. Or anyone for that matter. 

It’s bad enough there were more theories going around on you two. How the hatred was an act so you could keep things private. How it was fake or just a stunt for money.

You’d let the public guess and argue over it. You had no intentions on stating anything as of yet. 

So not thinking much of anything you turned on your tv and sat back. 

You sat up a little as you tv went to static. A blue glow came from it after a moment and a shock wave burst from it. The room went black and then the tv turned back on. Vox stood in front of you. Blocking the tv from view. 

“What the- Vox what the fuck!” You sat up all the way as Vox stepped closer with a smile on his face. 

 “We don’t have an audience here.” He leaned down looming over you as. Leaning back into the couch you slowly smirked. “Oh is that so? You wanna see if you can really work your magic on me?” You teased him watching as his face grew more annoyed. 

“Yes I do.” He put a finger under your chin and lifted it up. “I wanna prove to you that going off the script was because I am good at what I do. Not because you wanted to promote your bullshit brand.” He chuckled and moved you down on the couch to a lying position. 

“Oh you really wanna prove a point? Then I'm gonna make mine. I bet you can’t make me make a single sound.” You snickered as he threw his hat off to the ground. 

“Fine but I'm gonna make you eat those words.” He leaned down and kissed you. You rolled your eyes and opened your mouth. 

He slid his tongue inside your mouth. You closed your eyes and let your tongues tangle together. 

His hand slid down your sides and grabbed your jeans. You didn’t make a noise, the only sound was your pants rubbing together as Vox began to grind against you. 

A part of you just wanted to give in. Let him take you and win. But the bitch inside you wanted to win to shove it in his face every day. So you suppressed your moans and pulled back from the kiss.

He stared down at you and smirked, “Come on.. Just a little peep.” He groaned and made a quick upwards motion with his hips. It felt good you wouldn’t lie. 

You shook your head and smirked though earning an annoyed groan from the man above you. “Good thing we just started.” His voice was low as he undid your pants and yanked them off with a swift movement. 

You stared up at him and smirked. He slid off his blazer and undid his tie. The only thing left was his striped shirt. 

You sat up and pushed him down instead. He looked at you confused before smirking. He liked this and he didn’t care if you didn’t care in the moment if you didn’t like him how he liked you. Any form of attention from you was good. 

The feeling of you sitting on his bulge made his screen glitch as a low moan escaped him. He wanted to hear your approving moans as well but you weren’t giving it to him. You just moved against him with the best poker face he had ever seen. 

“F- fuck..” His voice buffered as he grabbed your hips and lifted you off him slightly. He didn’t want this to be over too soon. 

“I’m gonna break you. Just you wait.” He clawed at the sides of your underwear. Breaking the thin fabric, grabbing them as they fell down. He tossed them to the side and looked at you.

You blushed. Thanking Lucifer a blush didn’t count as a noise. That action was pretty hot. The desire in his eyes shone through. He slid off two of his claws. Just as he did for the shoot.

He lifted his hand to his mouth and licked them. Red saliva littered them. You anticipated the feeling of them inside you. Trying to prepare yourself so you didn’t moan. 

But he didn’t just slide them in. He circled his fingers around your clit. 

Smirking as he saw you twitch. Biting your lip before going back to a straight face. 

“Oh come on. I almost got you.” He laughed and slid one finger in. Pushing it in and out before adding the second and curling them inside. 

He kept pumping them in and out at different paces trying to make you moan. Anything really. A small gasp or groan. 

He wasn’t given the pleasure. 

You just closed your eyes and enjoyed the feeling. You hadn't met a man who could finger this good. He sure was something and you would love to keep this up. But his fingers just weren’t like his dick. Which was under you twitching and leaking pre cum. 

Just waiting for it’s turn inside. So you grabbed his wrist and he slid out his fingers. 

“Come on.. I’ll only give it to you if you beg.” He smirked and slid his finger down your slit teasingly. You shook your head. 

“Come on!” His voice statticed and he shoved his dick inside you. The amount of force you had to use to suppress your moan was astounding. 

He groaned as he noticed you didn't make a sound. 

“Fine, but I'm still gonna give you a damn good time. So you can’t say im shit at this.” he pulled out of you and flipped you over. Pushing you down under him. He wrapped your legs around him and slowly slid inside you again. Leaning his head back a quiet moan escaping his lips. 

You grabbed his shoulders and bit your lip. With each steady thrush the feeling of giving up echoed in your mind. It was starting to hurt holding in your noises. His eyes were squeezed shut, teeth bared and red drool dripping from his mouth. Blue static came from him as soon as he picked up his pace. 

“F-f-fuck.. I fucking hate you.” He slammed into you and a quiet moan escaped your lips. 

His eyes shot open and he looked down at you. Your face was red and sweaty. You covered your mouth, a smirk displayed on his face.

“What was that?” He taunted and slid all the way out of you then back in. A quiet moan escaped your mouth again. 

“Yeah that's right, I knew you couldn’t last forever.” He chuckled, his cocky attitude back. He kept his thrush gentle and slow. You gave in and let your moans fill the room. Vox loved the sounds. All your attention on him every moan, grunt, and whimper from your mouth was for him. It made his dick even harder. “Vox..please.. Please I'm.. I’m almost..” You stared into his eyes on the verge of orgasm. 

“Go ahead, we’ll do it together darling.” He slid his hand down and circled your clit and thrusted into you on more time. His cum filling your inside as yours too gave way and hit your orgasm.

His screen glitched out and his voice buffered as he moaned your name. 

After you both came down from your highs you looked into his eyes. 

“I hate you.” You glared at him. 

“You may hate me but I know you love him.” He chuckled as he slid his dick out, rubbing it against your slit. Earning an annoyed groan from you. 

“This was fun. Good to know you enjoyed it.” He winked and stood up. Putting on his clothes. He walked down your hall. You groaned and looked down at the cum on your couch. Annoyed now. 

He came back with a damp towel. He pushed you down gently and cleaned you up. Then rubbed the excess off the couch. 

“Gotta keep my toy clean.” He pinched your face before sliding his claws back on. 

“Least you have decent manners.” You scoffed and sat up. 

“Of course.” He smiled and glitched out. Disappearing into the tv. The room went black before the lights turned on. 

You got dressed and sat on the couch. Embarrassingly repeating the way he moaned your name in your head over and over. 

Why did you let him win? 

—

Today was your and Alastors photo shoot. You were modeling Sinfully Gorgeous but just a few of the modest outfits. With Alastors old time camera it made things look more classy. So he had agreed to do a small shoot in your studio. 

He had arrived about an hour ago. He was all dressed up just waiting for you now. You had gone for an old timey style of makeup and hair. 

Walking out of your dressing room he looked over. His eyes widened and a pleasant smile erased the plain one. 

“You look lovely darling.” He titled his head. “Thank you. You look rather handsome yourself.” You complimented back, gaining a chuckle from him. 

“Shall we do this?” He stood up straight. “Yes.” You replied back heading over to the backdrop. It was plain white but it made the photos show up better.

You did a few different poses and outfits. Some silly and others professional. 

“Wait, I have an idea.” You smirked and Alastor looked at you with a confused smile. 

“Voxtek is sponsoring this shoot. Part of a contract deal after that shoot with Valentino. I made Vox sign a contract to sponsor whatever I want when I want since I had to.. Fuck him” You rolled your eyes. 

“Right.” Alastor chuckled. He knew better. You and that tv headed fucker for sure had something going on. But you were his friend so he wouldn't say his true opinion. Though he sure as hell did back at the hotel. 

“I know just the way to tick him off.” You smirked at him and he instantly knew what you meant. Loving the idea of pissing off Vox for fun. 

—

You did a few poses. Holding each other. Alastor dipping you and finally the ones that would piss Vox off the most. You knew Alastor wasn’t one for these types of things. Though he agreed he did not mind if it was just to piss off Vox. 

You had ordered your helpers to set up a chair. They did as asked and Alastor sat down.

“Go head darling. I wanna see the look on his face when he sees these.” You both laughed as you sat between his legs.

Alastor gripped your chin and turned your face to his. His smile on his face. Though it was a more intimate one. He sure played this well. You look into his eyes with as much passion as a smirk displayed on your face.

 The photo was taken and you stood up. Slinging your legs over Alastors lap, your assistant changed the camera's angle to get a side view. Alastor looked into your eyes. “Excuse me if I am not good at this.”He chuckled and you smiled. “It’s okay.” You both had a short laugh before getting ready for the photo. 

He closed his eyes and you leaned in. Pressing your lips to his. He kissed you back but he wasn't hesitant. He just wasn’t sure how to move his lips. You pulled away the second the photo was taken. 

“You aren’t terribly bad.” You joked, gaining an eye roll from him. 

The last photo was one of you both standing. Alastor kissed you one last time but in this one his eyes were looking at the camera. A bigger dig at Vox. 

—

“Thanks for helping me.” You thanked Alastor as you had gotten the photos ready to be sent out to Voxtek. “It’s not a problem. Anything for an old pal.” Alastor smiled as you both walked out of the studio. 

—

Vox sipped on his coffee until a ding came through on his screen. He flicked his finger and sent it to one of his monitors. He opened the email and sifted through the photos your team had emailed him. 

He groaned as it was you and Alastor. Pissed off that the radio demon was getting your attention now. 

His anger was pretty controlled till he got to the attachment labeled ‘surprise.’ 

A part of him hoped it was some sinful photos of you in your outfit. Though to his dismay it was not. 

He opened up the file with a smirk on his face only for it to be erased in a meer second as his eyes landed on you and Alastor kissing. He gripped his desk claws digging into it. Leaving a mark. 

He groaned and looked at the next photo. Alastor kissing you and eyeing the camera with that smug grin tugging on his lips. He screamed and slammed his fist into the monitor, cracking it and causing the screen to glitch out. 

The monitor turned off as he kept punching it. His screams and groans of anger echoing through the room. 

“The fuck is your problem?!” Velvette asked as she slammed open the door. 

Vox turned around to look at her. A deranged smile on his face as his eye twitched. 

“Set up my showroom. If this bitch wants to play dirty we’ll play dirty.” He pulled his hand out of the monitor watching as his blood trickled down his arm.

#vox #vox hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel vox x fem reader #vox smut #vox x reader smut #vox x reader #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #ima keep this story going #enemies to lovers #enemies

[softspaceboibrian]

Fell in Love with the Fire Long Ago || Jamie Tartt

Chapters: 1 - more to come

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Y/N - Social Media Manager for AFC Richmond || I used she/her pronouns, but there is no actual physical description, so the pronouns can be switched with whatever anyone wants or prefers!

Summary: When Y/N received that email, she couldn't believe it. He was coming back.

Warnings: maybe some swear words. hints and mentions of sexual acts (still SFW). S1 Jamie Tartt aka a dick. a little angsty. Sam being is lovable self.

Characters: Jamie Tartt, Sam Obisanya, Isaac McAdoo, Colin Hughes, Dani Rojas, Ted Lasso, Rebecca Welton. Some others may appear as mentions.

Wc: 3800 (this works as a pilot or a prologue, to set up the story)

A/N: this story is based on this idea I had and that a few people seemed to like. hopefully you enjoy this first chapter/prologue. and if you want to read more, feel free to leave a comment. If enough people like it, I was thinking to do a taglist, so that people can stay updated. anyways, thanks for reading <;3

When you first heard the news, you couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe that they could do such a thing. Not to the team, not to you. That was the reason you were stomping up the stair, the clinking of your heels echoing against the walls, as you reached Rebecca’s office.

You didn’t knock, you didn’t wait for them to welcome you in. They knew you were coming. Especially after the email they had sent out. The email had been sent only to the “necessary” people that needed to be involved, and you, being the social media manager for the club, received it. It was probably a way for them to warn you to start preparing the content for the announcement. But you obviously didn’t take it well. They knew about your history, they knew how things had gone down. They had to be expecting you.

“How could you?” Your loud, clear voice, full of anger and disappointment filled the room.

“Good morning, Y/N!” Ted’s cheerful greeting made you want to scream. “To what do we owe the pleasure?” The sarcasm was obvious.

“How could you? After what he did to the team? After what he said about you?” Your tone was loud, so much so that you were sure people from downstairs could clearly hear every single one of your words. “How could you?” You choked on your last words, and as you finally met Rebecca’s gaze, you could feel the familiar sting of the tears that threatened to fall, spill, pour.

The woman sighed, getting up from her chair to make her way around the big desk. “Listen, love, he’s a great player. When Ted told me about their talk, I knew we had to get him back.” She explained, walking over to her. “We cannot let our feelings get in the way of the team’s success.”

You shook your head, taking a step back. “I never thought you would become this cynical.”

“I’m not cynical, just rational.”

“It’s all the same thing. He’s a prick. And pricks don’t change.” You were furious. “And it’s not just my feelings, but the team’s feelings. But you obviously don’t remember how he used to treat everyone.” You lingered on that last word, looking briefly at each of them, before turning around and making your way out of the office and down the stairs. “No one understands.” You whisper, your fists so tight you started to feel that burning sensation of your nails leaving marks on your palms.

Keeping your head low, trying to hide the tears streaming down your face, you made your way to the changing room. You knew you couldn’t say anything to any of the boys yet, but still, you needed some comfort. You needed Sam.

You quickly reached the locker room and knocked, waiting for them to give you a sign to let you know you could come in. And, as soon as you opened the door, you ran straight to Sam, immediately burying your face in his chest.

“Hey, Y/N/N. What is going on?” His thick Nigerian accent immediately bringing comfort to you. “Did something happen?” He asked as he tried to pull away slightly, trying to understand what was happening.

“Just… hug me… please.” You pled, the voice muffled by his jersey. And he did. He wrapped his arms around you, softly placing a kiss on top of your head, before laying his chin in the same spot. You’re immediately comforted by the warmth of your best friend’s embrace. However, you didn’t fail to notice how the familiar chatter of the changing room had started to slowly simmer down until it ultimately came to a halt. A sense of pain and anxiety washed over you at once, and your head started again to fill with the same questions you had asked Rebecca and Ted. Why? Why him? Why now? How could they?

But soon, your stream of thoughts was interrupted by Isaac’s voice. “Who do we have to kill?” You didn’t need to raise your head from Sam’s chest to know that the feeling was shared by most if not all the team’s players.

“No one. Yet.” You mumbled, sniffling. “It’s complicated.” You added as you finally pulled away from Sam, yet still remaining extremely close to him, as if his presence was the only thing keeping you sane and calm at that moment.

“When the moment comes, just call, okay?” You gave a quick nod to the team captain, accompanied by a shy smile. To any casual passer-by, the comment may have seemed sarcastic, the usual banter between friends that care about each other. But the team knew that that was not sarcastic at all and that Isaac would indeed, without a shadow of a doubt, kill someone for you.

You couldn’t exactly remember when, but somewhere down the line, the team had become your chosen family. However, you could clearly remember how that process had started.

You had started working for AFC Richmond around the same time that Ted and Coach Beard did. You didn’t care much for football or sports in general, but you had just recently graduated from university and had found this work through Keeley. You and her had met at your cousin’s going away party a few years before, when he had decided to move to Greece to become an archaeologist. You had immediately bonded over who can even remember what, and remained close friends ever since. So, when she heard that the position had just opened up, she immediately sent your CV to Rebecca, without warning you first. You found out about the job only when you received a call from a certain Mr Higgins, who told you that they had read your curriculum and found it really interesting. And so, you ended up moving to Richmond-upon-Thames and started working for the club.

It didn’t take you long to get to know the team and become friends with them. Obviously, you had your prejudices against footballers, who you thought were self-centred egomaniacs – and you weren’t completely wrong about that – but, to your surprise, most of them turned out to be great people. You quickly became very close with Sam; Roy tolerated you; Isaac and Colin were always kind to you. Even Jamie Tartt, the prick of the team, would usually drop his dickhead persona when he was with you. And that was how you two ended up together. For the first month or so, you would notice his constant flirting, but you never really gave it too much thought. You had read about him in the tabloids, and you knew how he was famous for having a different girl every week. You weren’t that oblivious, you knew he was fit. But, every time he would flirt with you, you would play along for a while, before brushing it off and going back to your business. I’m just his latest challenge, he will move on sooner or later, you thought. Until, roughly a month and a half after you had started working there: he started waiting for you outside the clubhouse, asking you if you needed a ride home. Which then turned into him asking you to grab a coffee with him one day before practice. Then it was dinners. Movie nights at his place. Stolen glances in the hallways of the clubhouse. Sneaking in the boot room to secretly make out. And sooner than you could realise, you were sleeping over at his place most of the time.

You asked him to keep things private for a while. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of him. You just needed to be sure about him. So, you kept sneaking around. Avoiding each other as much as possible, too worried that the team might just figure it out. Let me show you off, Jamie would whisper into your ear, in-between wet kisses, as he stood behind you in the kitchen in the morning, wrapping his arms around your waists. Let me take you out to a restaurant, on a proper date, he insisted. But you kept declining his offers. Not yet, baby, you would reply, as you slowly melted under his touch, I need a little more time, you said as you turned around in his arms. And the conversation would die there, with Jamie immediately picking you up and placing you on top of the kitchen counter, his lips trailing their way down your neck, your collarbone, your chest, down, down, until your vision turned hazy and you had to grip onto the marble countertop with all the strength you had in your body, too afraid you might fall off of it, as his lips met finally met your core.

You were able to keep your relationship private longer than you had expected. It was after almost 4 weeks that Nate eventually walked in on you two in the boot room. You weren’t doing anything too private, you were merely making out. But Nate being Nate, froze on his feet as he saw you two holding onto each other, too stunned to move. I was… I needed to… sorry… I didn’t…. As usual, he was too embarrassed to form a complete sentence, so he simply left the room. You two looked at each other and knew that it was only a matter of time before your secret would be out. And you were right. The secret didn’t last the entire day, and when it was time to go home after practice, you were met by a horde of football players, asking you when it had started, how long had that been going on, if you two were official, and so on.

Somehow, but still not completely unexpectedly, the news reached the press in less than a day. The next morning, as you lied in bed with Jamie’s head on your chest, you were woken up by the constant buzzing of your phone. Check this article from The Sun, said a message from your high school friend, with a link attached to it. Is it true? Asked your mother. Congratulations! read the message from your aunt from whom you hadn’t heard in ages. And the messages kept coming. Yes, it was true. You were now in a relationship. Yes, your boyfriend was a famous footballer. Yes, you knew about his fame. Still, you didn’t care. Because, when Jamie was with you, he wasn’t Jamie Tartt, star striker for AFC Richmond, but just Jamie. And you loved just Jamie. He was sweet, he was passionate, he was kind, he always made sure you were feeling well, he brought you flowers once a week, he left some coffee for you in the pot in the mornings, he always made sure you were sexually satisfied – something he was really proud of.

Sadly, you hadn’t realised that, with going public, also came the hate from his fans, who thought that you would be too distracting for their beloved favourite player, and from the girls, the actresses, the top models, the reality tv stars, who had hoped to one day end up with him and whose dream you had shattered overnight. You pulled through it, and that was also thanks to Jamie, who never missed the chance to remind you how much he loved you and cared for you.

However, two months after going public, things started to change. You couldn’t understand why if it was something that you had done or said, but he started to become distant, cold. He would invite you less and less over to his place, and when he did, it was mainly to have sex, to ‘release the tension from practice’. And whenever the team lost, the sex would be rough. He was always on his phone, texting, dming, emailing. A part of you knew it was girls he was talking to, but you couldn’t bring yourself to confront him about it, so you just said nothing and held on. He soon stopped asking you how you were, telling you how much he loved you. You tried asking him what was going on, but he would always deny everything, saying that you were imagining things, that you were just paranoid, and that everything was fine. Fine. Oh, how you came to hate that word. You asked him how he was. Fine. You asked him if he wanted to spend the night together. Fine. You asked him if he wanted to drive to the clubhouse together. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. You hated fine. In Jamie’s language, fine meant if you really have to, or I would rather you left me alone, or I don’t really care. You hated it. And you hated what your relationship had become. But still, something stopped you from leaving him, maybe the hope that soon things would go back to normal, that soon he would go back to being just Jamie.

But that never happened.

And things only got worse when Ted decided to take him out during a match. You knew that Ted was doing it to teach him a lesson, and he was right to want to do so. But as you watched your boyfriend leave the pitch, you knew things would only get worse. So, you stopped constantly looking for him. You stopped texting him every day. You only met when he asked you.

It was in that period that you grew closer to Sam. You could distinctly remember the day he walked into your office to ask you for a few suggestions on how to make his Instagram page more appealing. Instead walked in on you sitting on the floor, with your back against the wall and your hands in your hair. You didn’t even have the strength to pretend things were okay, so you simply looked up, black lines scarring your cheeks, and met his eyes. “Sorry, Sam, it’s… not a great moment.” You struggled to get the words out.

But Sam didn’t say anything. Instead, he closed the door behind him, made his way across the room and took a seat on the floor next to you. “Is it Jamie?” He asked with his thick Nigerian accent that you would grow to love and even find familiar. You nodded silently. “Do you want to talk about it?” You shook your head. “Do we just sit in silence?” A nod. A beat. Then your head slowly fell to the side, until it found its resting place on his shoulder.

You don’t exactly know how long you stayed there, on the floor, in silence. It could have been a few minutes or entire hours. In either case, Sam stayed there, and didn’t leave your side. He never once took out his phone to check his messages, even though you could feel it buzzing in his pocket. He only changed position once, to move his arm and wrap it around your shoulders. That was the first time you had spent that much time in silence with someone without feeling the need to fill it with superficial chatter.

From that day forward, you and Sam were inseparable. There was something about him that simply brought you comfort, a comfort that not even Jamie had been able to give you. Whenever you weren’t sleeping over at Jamie’s, he would come to pick you up and drive you to work. He would drive you home in the evenings, making sure you were all the way inside your house, before sprinting off the road to go home himself. You would start having lunch together, usually joined by some of the other guys – in all of this, most of the time Jamie was nowhere to be found. And whenever your boyfriend acted like a dick with you in front of everyone, he would speak up. Are you his boyfriend now, Sammy? Jamie would mock him, using your nickname for him. I don’t think so. She’s me girl, so I’ll talk to her how I want, a’ight? He would puff out his chest, trying to look bigger and intimidating.

That evening, after practice was over, Jamie sprinted off to who knows where or to who knows who, leaving you there, alone. And, as per usual, Sam would come to the rescue, offering you a lift home.

“Why are you still with him?” Sam asked you as he stopped in front of your house. “You deserve better, not an asshole like him.”

You shook your head. “He’s not like that when it’s just the two of us.” You would always find a way to make excuses for him.

“I don’t care how he is when he’s alone with you, Y/N! If he really loves you, he should treat you well in public as well!” You had never really heard Sam raising his voice before, and it would have been a lie if you had said that you were not intimidated. But, despite everything, you could feel the care and preoccupation in his voice. “You deserve someone that truly cares for you, and that isn’t afraid to show it!” You knew he was right. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to say something, to break up with him.

But you never had to.

It was maybe a week after your discussion with Sam when you showed up unannounced at his place. It was cold outside, and you were only wearing a thick jumper. You stood there, in front of his door for at least three whole minutes, before finally knocking on his door. You knocked instead of ringing the bell so that if he was already asleep, you wouldn’t wake him. But he had heard it, and less than 10 seconds later, he was opening the door.

“Y/N, what are you-” He didn’t even finish his question. He took one look at you and knew exactly what had happened. He took your hand gently in his, and immediately pulled you inside, guiding you to the living room. “Wait here a moment.” He said, making you seat on the couch, before running off in search of a blanket. “Okay, wrap yourself in this while I put the kettle on.” He opened the blanket and put it around your shoulders.

“Stay here, please.” You whispered, grabbing him by the wrist before he could move away again.

“But you’re shivering.”

“Just… please.”

As soon as he met your eyes once again, he felt his heart drop to his stomach. He had seen you in distress before, he had comforted you multiple times after your fights with Jamie. But this time he didn’t even need for you to tell him what had happened, he already knew. He took a seat next to you, fixing the blanket so that it was properly covering your entire body, before pulling you to his chest.

“He said that I was too much work.” The words left your mouth watery. “That I asked too much of him. And that, since he was going back to Man City, it was better to call it quits.” You whispered. You could feel Sam’s body tense, the air blowing through his nose. You knew he wanted to say a lot of things. He wanted to tell you that he was a dickhead, that he never realised what he had in front of him, that he had just lost the best woman he could ever find, that he was a moron, a jerk, an idiot, a fool. But he didn’t. He remained silent. And he did the best he could to comfort you. He stroke your hair and your back, he rocked you and hummed to you, until you fell asleep.

After that night, it didn’t take long for the rest of the team to find out what had happened, and how it had happened. Every single one of the boys sent you a text, saying, each in their own way, that they were sorry, that Jamie was a dick, and that they were there for you if you needed them. And you were glad to know so many people cared for you, people that up until a few months ago didn’t even know you and that you would have never expected in your life to end up being friends with. They all stopped and hugged you when they met you in the corridor for the first time after it had happened. But some of them surprised you.

You hadn’t been able to sleep for the last few nights, which was made obvious to everyone by the way you dragged your feet against the floor whenever you walked around the clubhouse, your legs too heavy for your exhausted body to properly move. You had also stopped taking care of yourself. Yes, you showered and brushed your teeth because you hated not being presentable for work. But you had stopped brushing your hair every morning and every night, like your grandmother had thought you when you were little. And you had stopped wearing make-up. Not that you would normally put on a full face every day, but you stopped using mascara because it made your eyes burn whenever you cried, and the light concealer you used under your eyes to make yourself look fresher, more awake. And now your puffy red eyes and dark circles were there, on display, for everyone to see, a reminder of how you were feeling.

That morning you had opted for a very comfortable pair of sweatpants and a warm AFC Richmond hoodie. Using supportiveness as a way to hide your depression. Smart, you thought. Sad. You were sitting in your office, alone, working on the new social media campaign, when suddenly you heard someone knock on your door. “Come in.” You said flatly. As the door opened, you looked up from your laptop, only to see Sam walk in, followed by Isaac, Colin and Dani. “How can I help you, boys?” You forced a smile on your face.

“Want to watch a movie with us tonight?” Asked Isaac, taking the lead. You looked at the quartet in front of you, unsure of what to say. “We can watch whatever sad movie you prefer, and Dani can bring some Mezcal.”

“Boys, I-” You started, but you were instantly cut off.

“Uh-uh!” The Welsh stepped forward. “We don’t want to hear any I’d rather be alone or I don’t want to be a bother bullshit, okay? We want to do this.”

“Yes, we only asked to be nice, but if you say no, we will just kidnap you and force you to do it.” Said Sam, a soft, warm smile on his face, as he leaned over your desk.

“Por favor, Y/N” Dani pled, showing you his big, brown puppy eyes.

“Fine!” You gave in. “On one condition: we order Chinese.”

They all look at each other, before bursting out laughing.

A/N: if you read all the way through, thank you ! feel free to leave a feedback/comment. i would love to know what you think about it and if you would be interested in reading more of this story. let me know if you would like to be put in a taglist for this fic! love you <3

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fic #ted lasso #softspaceboibrian writings #ted lasso fic #sam obisanya #isaac mcadoo #colin hughes #dani rojas #rebecca welton #roy kent #keeley jones #coach beard

[le-92vi]

It's You and Me (Part 2)

Suguru Geto x Reader

Genres/Warnings: hs!suguru, biker!suguru, fem!reader, academic weapon!reader, mostly fluff and banter, v little angst.

Word Count: 3.3k

When your highschool crush moves across the street from you, there's not much option other than befriending him. Especially, when he's the one suggesting it.

Notes: It's me! I'm back, hello.

(Part 1)

----

You had to admit that being around Suguru was easy.

He just had this way of making people around him so comfortable, so heard. And him being a year senior to you came as an additional perk.

He'd help you with your projects and assignments whenever he had the time to spare. His well-polished reputation among teachers at school gave you a free pass to many things you couldn't get, even as the top student of your grade.

He'd introduced you and Maki to his other cool, senior friends, often sitting with you during lunch. Let you know about upcoming events and competitions, grabbing you all the extra credits for the perfect final grade.

Your high school life was passing by like a breeze.

And, if he insisted on helping you to make it easier, who were you to say no?

In turn, you'd treat him with your mom's delicious food all the time. It was a win-win situation for both of you.

Your families--especially your mothers--had grown closer too, they were practically always hanging together, save for the time they went to work. It was like your mom was back in her teenage years with her best friend. And oddly enough, you'd always be reminded of Maki when you saw them.

Everything had progressed into the present so, so naturally, it was almost scary. It had always been an object of your fascination how humans formed bonds with each other so easily and then lived to protect them forever.

"Wait," You placed your fork down in disbelief, "So, you went to school together?"

"We did!" Suguru's mom chuckled at your astonished face. She and Suguru were over for the afternoon, just a small lunch get-together, planned out by your lovely mom. "Sadly, I had to move away after for my final year. My parents wouldn't hear a no."

"That's crazy." You were unsure of how to process the piece of information you were presented. You turned to look at Suguru, who was nonchalantly still indulging in his food. "You knew?"

He looked up from his plate, cocking an eyebrow, "I just assumed they knew each other from somewhere, not that they were already friends. I would've never guessed that one!"

"Right? I mean, what are the chances of moving across your best friend from high school?" You mused.

"Well, It was hardly a coincidence," Your mom chimed in, amused by your antics. "We did keep in touch after she moved away, honey. How old do you think we are? We had emails."

"Yeah, and we had been planning to move back here, sooner or later." Mrs. Geto spoke. "Suguru's eventually leaving for college, so we thought a little change wouldn't hurt."

"And by little, she means 30 more minutes of commute to school every day," Suguru contorted his face playfully at his mother, earning a slap on the shoulder.

"We did ask for your opinion, mister!" She defended herself.

And, so the lunchtime chit-chat continued. But your mind stayed hung up on that one sentence.

Suguru is eventually leaving for college.

He won't forever be your next-door neighbor who helps you with homework and brings you to get takeout with his friends. He won't be at your house for these little luncheons soon enough. And, he won't be around to hang out with you forever, soon enough.

Of course, he would visit when he had time and you could talk on the phone, but you knew things wouldn't be the same once he left for college. He'd have a completely new life there. Would he even want you to be a part of it? Would he call? Would he have any time to think of you, or his friends?

Would you ever see him again, after he moves for college?

As his (secret) admirer, it was a painful realization, but more so as his friend.

A mere, off-handed comment hit you like an arrow, straight to the heart. You didn't even realize how much a single sentence could affect you, until Suguru shook you by the shoulder, jolting you awake from your daydream, "Where are you?" He looked at you with a slightly confused expression, wondering what you were so lost in thought about. "You said the other day you wanted help with your physics assignment?"

You were--evidently-- not used to dealing with a situation like this.

When you realized Suguru was your next-door neighbor, you were repulsed by the idea of it, the first thing. You liked him. Maybe it was even enough to call it a crush but, feelings are scary, man! Constantly seeing him around would only accelerate your feelings for him.

You didn't want that. You couldn't be distracted. You wouldn't let him distract you. And, certainly, you wouldn't become one for him, either.

"I think I told Maki I'd call her." you brushed off his question.

***

"Yes, but now I don't Iike him like that anymore…" you were plopped on your bed, on a call with your one and only.

Suguru had left earlier to meet up with his friends. You'd pass on the offer, saying you had homework to complete, which was partially true.

You turned around to lay on your stomach, head resting against your free hand, ranting like she was your therapist, "I just don't understand why I'm acting this way, Maki"

"Didn't you just say, you don't like him like that? I don't see the problem?" She spoke calmly. She always did.

Even if you cried to her about the most random stuff, she'd always listen to you and never judge you for it. Well maybe, she did judge you a little but that's just what friends are for. "Have you considered the possibility that you're still not completely over him and want him to be around longer?"

You hummed in response, repeating after her. "Umm, I'm not sure where you are trying to go with this, but it's not that."

"I think you're just confused. You used to like him, but now that you actually know him he's not your type, so you're just confused." She finished, emphasizing the last part.

"You sound experienced." You chuckled, trying to get a rise out of her.

And, just as if she could see right through you. She cleared her throat, "We are not doing this again," putting on her sternest voice.

***

"Did you miss the bus?" Suguru inquired as he straddled his bike across the street.

"Looks like it," Your hands shot up with dejection.

What could you do?

Both your parents were off to their offices right before you rushed off to school, yourself. "I swear I was out on time."

"I can't believe I get to witness a sight like this, Ms. Perfect missing her bus to school." Suguru snickered as he got off his bike to walk back inside his garage.

He's been hanging out with Maki too much.

You were already crossing over to his house when he emerged from the garage with a skating helmet. "That won't protect my head from a truck," you chuckle.

"Might protect the truck, who knows?" He shrugged. "Who knew there'd come a time that you'd need a ride? I would've been prepared."

He placed the helmet on your head and buckled it securely before revving up the bike's engine, "Hop on," He patted the seat.

With a sigh you climbed his bike, sitting behind him. Your hands gripped a part of the seat behind you to find some sort of balance.

This was as nerve-wracking as it was new to you. Sitting on a bike.

On Suguru Geto's bike!

"What are we waiting for?" You turned to get a look at his face, which was shielded with a helmet.

"You'll fall off if you sit like that," he commented, pushing his visor down.

"How else am I supposed to sit on a bike, then, Suguru?" You sounded annoyed, as you stole a glance at your wristwatch. You were already late. "I'd be really thankful if you get us to school on time."

"I know, so just hold onto me, or something." He turned around to look at you with his visors still blocking you from getting a look at his face. You couldn't make out from his tone if he was getting annoyed at you, or laughing.

"I'm entrusting you with my life. Is that not enough?"

"Oh my god! Just hold onto me. It's not that deep!"

"Alright!" your hands snaked around his waist, awkwardly unsure of how to be. Sure, you were friends but friends don't get a feel of each others' waists, do they? Do you rest your palm against his abdomen, or do you hold your hands in front of him?

Your mind wreaked as you fidgeted with your hands.

Suguru must've noticed.

He removed his hands from the bike and placed them on yours. He crossed your arms flat around his waist, so you were practically back-hugging him now.

You could feel each and every crevice of his abdomen, and it was messing with your brain. His hand rested on top of yours until he was sure you wouldn't take them off anymore.

You could smell his cologne and his shampoo from how close you were to him. You felt a small laugh vibrate through his body as he revved the engine one last time and finally made his way to school.

You were definitely late.

***

You were completely zoned out when the teacher called your name for the third time.

"I get that it's been a long day. I do, but--" She closed her textbook with a sigh, seeing the drowsy and listless bunch sitting in front of her. "Let's end the class here for today."

And, without missing a beat, the whole class was up and about their businesses for lunch. The teacher shook her head, half in disbelief and half in mirth.

You were packing your stuff to leave as well when the teacher tapped on your desk to get your attention, "Would it be possible for you to drop by the library and get these books for me?" She slid a piece of paper towards you.

Noticing how short the list was, you agreed, "Sure, Ms. Seige. I can drop them off by the end of the lunch break."

You folded the paper, tucked it in your pocket, and bid her goodbye.

You looked at your wristwatch and, noticed that you had a good twenty minutes before lunch began. You could still enjoy with your friends if you quickly dropped off the books in time and rushed to the lunch hall.

Not that fifty minutes for a lunch break was a short time, but you hadn't seen any of them all day, except Suguru, of course.

You greeted Shoko with a hug and handed her the piece of paper with the list of books your teacher wanted, along with a few snacks you had picked for her on your way. She had been a huge help to you for most of the year in finding all the books you were asked to gather by your teachers, being the student in charge of the library.

"Who is it this time?" She unfolded the list, flat on the table.

"Ms. Seige. Physics." You dropped your bag by her chair, as you watched her type away on her computer and scribble some things on the list.

"Oh! She's a good one." She turned in her seat and remarked, as she handed you the list.

"That's rare- you praising a teacher," You chuckled.

"She deserves it," She shrugged, turning back to her work. "Do me a favor and, drag Suguru on your way back. He should be somewhere in the back. Let's get lunch together. I'll text the others."

It was flabbergasting and borderline frustrating how Suguru was so effortlessly smart. "Does he ever attend any of his classes?"

"None that I know of."

"Must be nice…" You muttered to yourself, as you wandered off to find him and your books.

***

Suguru was cooped up in a small corner of the library, sitting-- rather leaning the upper half of his body against the bookshelf. From the looks of it, he must've been in that position for a while. Just looking at his stance made you question everything you knew about him.

How was he sitting-- laying, whatever he was doing-- in that position? What about the book captivated him so much, that he was torturing his back like that?

You quickly slipped your phone out and clicked a picture to show the others later. Placing the books on the nearest table, you slowly crept up behind him, mostly to give him a scare, but you were also very much intrigued by his novel's contents.

A little detour and you were practically breathing down his neck. But, the guy still hadn't a clue.

You were able to easily read into his book from where you were standing.

Touch me, tease me. Feel me up.

Two sentences were enough for you to understand what captured Suguru's undivided attention.

"So you were actually into friction, not fiction!" You mock-whispered in his ear, with every intention to give him a jump scare.

And boy, did it work!

Suguru's shoulder, which supported most of his body weight against the bookshelf, slid from the sudden shock. "What the-- OUch!" He was flat on the ground in a matter of seconds. Yet, that didn't stop him from concealing his book at the sight of you. "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

You tried your best to not break into a burst of laughter as you stood straighter, towering above him. "Nothing,"

"Why would you creep up on me like that?" He brushed off his clothes, still trying to tuck away his book. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, all flustered and unmoving. A bright red tinge rose on his neck, face, and ears. He was so red he could qualify as a traffic light.

All you wanted to do was pull out your phone and click another picture, but you decided to spare him the torment. One embarrassing picture in the group chat was enough to rid him of his sleep for a few months. Gojo and Shoko would never let him live this down.

"Oh, come on! Don't act like you wouldn't," You grinned, unable to hold back anymore. You held out your arm towards him, "Be grateful that it was me."

He grabbed your hand as he hoisted himself up. "Did you," he sighed, "read any of it?"

He looked like he was on the verge of tears. One wrong move, and you'd be the first reason Suguru ever let his emotions win.

Your face turned blank, almost mirroring his. But, you'd be lying if you said you weren't enjoying teasing him. He wouldn't be upset with you if you told him the truth, right?

That just wasn't like Suguru.

Right?

The corners of your lips curled up into a ghost of a smile, as you looked up at him through your lashes, "Touch me, tease me, feel me up?"

His hands immediately flew to his face, covering up any expression,

"Oh my god!" he whined.

You burst into laughter once again at his unexpected timid behavior. "Suguru," You seized his hands away from his face, "That's all I read. I promise."

His lips turned into a sheepish smile, finally looking at you, "This had to stay between us. Forever!" His hands swung side-to-side, and so did yours, holding onto his as he whined.

You drew your hands back, cringing at his coyness. You had never seen him act like that, and it was kind of creepy. You had to admit.

"Ugh," You mindlessly reacted. "Why are you acting like this?"

Before he could respond, Shoko yelled from her desk up front, "Guys, it's been FIFTEEN years! It doesn't take that long to find three books and a guy!"

You rushed to pick up your books at the sound of her voice, but Suguru caught you by your wrist, "I promise I'll bring you to school and back every day. They can't know," He pleaded.

You could tell how serious he was, just by one look at his face, "I won't." You reassured him. You felt slightly disappointed in yourself for teasing him. Just his expression sat like a heavy weight on your chest. You had no idea a little joke would affect him this much. "You don't have to bring me to school every day. It was meant to be a harmless joke, Suguru."

"I know," He stuck his tongue out at you, walking past you and picking up your books. "Let's go."

This bastard.

He was very much aware of the affect he had on you and used it to the best of his advantage. It took you a whole moment to realize that you had been fooled by his stupidly pretty face.

"Suguru!" You followed after him, but he was already dropping off your book with Shoko and running out of the library.

***

"On a school night? Your parents will ambush everyone," Shoko flicked Gojo's forehead, stopping him from stealing her fries.

"But, this would be our last one!" he theatrically caressed his forehead, turning around frantically to persuade everyone. "They're out of town for the weekend, anyways."

"Still, don't you think it's a little short notice?" You blankly stated. But, who were you kidding?

High school kids from your school would sell their souls to attend one Halloween party thrown by THE GOJO SATORU. There was no such thing as "short notice".

You looked at Maki for some sort of sign, and then towards Shoko.

Your eyes didn't dare look in Suguru's direction. You weren't upset with him. Of course not. Yet, you couldn't. He was never one to talk much, unlike Gojo. It was never easy to understand his true feelings.

"You'll come right?" Suguru nudged your shoulder lightly.

"I don't know," You whispered back.

"Please?" He said leaning ever-so-slightly into you. Looking at you the same way you did, in the library, and his head tilted.

Anything Gojo said after that faded into nothingness, as you looked at Suguru's face. Blood rushed through your whole body so furiously, that you could hear your heart beating in your ears. Your face grew uncontrollably hot. Subconsciously, your hands fanned your face and you leaned backward in your seat. That look on his face felt so foreign to you. It was almost like he was playing some sick joke at you.

His smirk grew into a boyish grin. He so knew he could convince you with just a smile. "Hmm?"

You cleared your throat, bringing your focus to your wristwatch. You needed an excuse. Anything. "I have to drop these off," You gathered Ms. Seige's books from the table, as you scrambled to leave.

"I'll go with you-" He began saying, but was cut off by one of his classmates. You were out of earshot but could still make out by the looks of it that she demanded all his attention.

Dissatisfaction greeted with you a warm hug at the sight of him talking to the girl. You hated feeling this way. Why should someone else get to control how you feel? As disappointed as you felt, you didn't let it get to your head. You didn't look back at the group for a second time.

Sure, he could have other friends or girlfriends.

It was none of your business.

Suguru was just a friend to you.

And that's all he'll ever be.

Tags: @mandysfanfics

#suguru geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jjk x you #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #getou suguru x reader #jujutsu geto #geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk geto #geto suguru #jujutsu kaisen shoko

[fanficwritinggirl]

My Montana (Cole Walter Fanfic)

Chapter 1

“Mom,” a desperate, tiny cry of a voice wailed as she sprinted towards the body. Turning her over onto her side she put her frail hands over the now scarlet top, trying to stop the bleeding. But there was no hope of saving her, she had been gone long before she had been able to get there. An adult has approximately 10 pints of blood pumping throughout their body. You never really realize how much blood that is, until it’s pooled on the floor, painting it a dark crimson color. The bloody handprints smeared on the door, creeping closer and closer to the door handle, never quite reaching it besides one lone maroon fingerprint. Dark chocolate waves of hair lay in the pool, covering her cold, white face, hiding the cuts and bruises on her face. “Mom, please wake up,” she cried again, shaking her. Her hands were covered in crimson blood. “Wake up.” 

“Josie!” a voice said loudly in her ear. Startled, her body shoots up, head turning quickly with her eyes wide, tears threatening to fall. “Hey, it's okay, it's just a nightmare, it's okay.” A warm hand sets itself upon her forearm causing her to turn her head and look at the brunette haired woman sitting on her bed, eyebrows pinched together and the corner of her lips pulled down ever so slightly. 

“You're okay Josie, you're not there anymore, he’s not here,” assurance was present in her voice as she ran her hand up and down the panicked girl's arm, offering comfort. Her fingers comed through her hair as she pulled the few parts out of her face and brought it together on one side of her shoulder.

“Same dream?” the brunette woman asked her as she removed her hand from Josie's arm and grabbed the glass of water that was sitting on the white bedside table. Trembling hands take the glass and bring it to her lips taking a sip. 

“It was the blood, it was everywhere. On her, on me. It's just…” she falters. “It was just everywhere Aunt Hat,” she cried, bringing her shaking hands down into her laps cradling the glass between them. 

“I know honey. But we have to remember that it was a long time ago, no one is going to come and hurt you, okay.” All she could do was nod, barely listening to her aunt and keeping herself focused on the glass.

“How long until school starts,” she asked, changing the subject.

“An hour, but I'm going to call Miss Jacobs and ask her if you can spend some time in her room this morning, just until you are ready to go back into class. That's okay?” Josie nods and lifts her head to give her aunt a small smile. Her aunt sighs, offering her the same expression before leaning forward and giving her a kiss on her forehead. 

“I love you Josie.” 

“I love you too Aunt Hat.” 

Tapping on the keyboard was all that could be heard in the room as Miss Jacobs typed her emails and Josie sat on the couch, a book in hand, losing herself in another world. Sitting in Miss Jacob's room was a normal occurance for her, she was in here most mornings of the week after the nightmares happened. Miss Jacobs never forced her to talk about anything she didn't want to. If she just wanted to sit and read a book then Miss Jacobs was happy to give her the space to do that, as long as she caught up with the classes that she missed, which was never a problem.

“Josie, how are you finding your classes at the minute?” Miss Jacobs asks from her desk. Josie lifts her head up and looks at the woman, her eyebrows coming together in the middle.

“Um fine… i think. I mean I am passing everything at the moment. I'm not making A's or anything but I don't think that's a bad thing.” The counselor laughs, shaking her head, standing up and walking towards her and taking a seat in front of her.

“No, I know that. Your grades are great, but are you having a hard time keeping those grades?Have the nightmares been affecting you in this aspect?” Josie leans back in her seat, crossing her arms and pursing her lips a little.

“I mean not really. Sometimes Chem can be a little hard to keep up with but nothing major, usually I can push through by finding some extra time to study,” her voice was filled with certainty and confusion.

“And the nightmares, do they affect any of this?” Miss Jacobs eyes travel around the young girl's face, taking in the bags under her eyes. Josie shrugs.

“Not really. I’m used to them by now. I just have learned to get along with them. That’s all I can do,” her voice was firm. Miss Jacobs gives a small smile and nods.

“Well that's good. Now if you ever have problems with chem just let me know and i can get some help for you.” Josie offers her a polite smile and nod before grabbing her book and returning to her page. Miss Jacobs, seeing that the conversation is over, stands up and returns to her desk continuing with her emails, hoping that one of these days Josie will open up to her.

Three knocks chimed on the door of Miss Jacobs office before opening, revealing the one and only Danny Walter. Danny though was not the most popular Walter boy was still liked around the school and many of the girls still had a crush on him, which Josie could understand. Danny has been her best friend since she moved here when she was nine and since the day that they got put together for a project, they had been attached at the hip, though over the past few years they do spend a little more time apart, she still loved him very much. Many have assumed over the years that the two are more than friends but that couldn't be further from the truth. Danny was her platonic soulmate, he understood her better than anyone and told him practically everything, she loved him, just not like that. He was the brother that she never had. 

“Oh Danny, lovely to see you again. I can guess why you are here,” Miss Jacob teases and Danny laughs. 

“Lovely to see you too Miss. I am here for Miss Whitlock,” he turns and gives her a goofy grin and she snickers. He struts towards her with one hand behind his back, stopping in front of her and extending his hand to her. “Miss Whitlock, would you do the honor of coming with me to lunch,” to say that his posh accent was terrible would be an understatement. Josie puts her book down and shuffles to the edge, straightening her back and posing her face. 

“I do not know, kind sir. For I find that I actually have some much needed work that must be done and must therefore, with greatest regret, must decline your offer,” with that she leans back into the couch and bites down on her tongue to stop herself from laughing. Miss Jacobs sits in the corner watching the entire interaction with a smirk on her face, chuckling while eating her salad. 

“Oh my fair lady, how you have hurt me so,” Danny gets down on his knees and takes her hands in his. “Please dine with me or I shall die of a broken heart,” his hand touches his heart and Josie cannot do anything but laugh. 

“You are ridiculous,” she tells him before grabbing her bag and putting her book in. “Well i am only ridiculous for my bestest friend in the world, which just so happens to be you, Josie Whitlock,” Danny moves back as Josie stands up and turns to Miss Jacobs. 

“What would you say, Miss. Was our performance to your liking,” Miss Jacobs laughs. “I must say it exceeds it. I hope that it shall be a while until I see your next performance so that you have more time to prepare,” Danny’s face drops a little bit, understanding what she's saying but decides to ignore. “Understood Miss. I will make sure that the next time I see you I will give you that most amazing performance of your life,” Miss Jacob nods, shaking her head with a smile. Josie puts her hand on Danny’s shoulder and turns him. 

“Enough with the dramatics. Let's go, now that you are talking about lunch I want some,” Danny smirks at her and waves his hand towards Miss Jacobs as he walks out of the door. 

“Bye Miss Jacobs,” Josie says as they leave. Miss Jacob smiles to herself as she eats her salad, feeling the weight lifted ever so slightly, knowing that at least for now, everything was fine again for Josie. 

“So are you coming over tonight, we are having lasagna for dinner” Danny asks as he and Josie stroll towards the cafeteria. Josie smirks looking at him. 

“Danny, do you even have to ask? There is no point in me heading home because no doubt my aunt and your mom are going to end up on a job till late so what is the point of being home on my own.” Danny shrugs at her. 

“Well I don't know. Maybe you could have some friends over… A guy,” Josie turns and hits him on the arm. 

“Danny Walter, how dare you suggest that I would have a guy over. We all know what happens when others are given the opportunity. Trust me I have had to listen to many of our classmates' hookup stories,” she states as they walk into the cafeteria and walk towards the line. 

“Oh trust me, you do not have to have the house to yourself for people to take liberties about inviting ‘guests’ over for… that,” Danny informs her with slight discomfort which Josie can’t help but laugh at. 

“Let me guess Cole has had a ‘guest’ over recently,” grabbing a tray starts putting food on her tray. 

“Oh no, not for a while actually, which i'm confused about. Maybe he has decided to take a break for a while after Jackie sees Olivia sneaking out. Probably just goes to their house now,” Josie lifts her tray and pinches her eyebrows together and shrugs. 

“I don’t know, maybe. I mean it must be hard for Jackie being in a house full of people, not being able to get much privacy and then having to see someone sneaking out, knowing that they have done that, would be pretty awkward,” Josie trudges towards one of the table with Danny behind her with his own filled tray. 

“Oh yeah. And on top of that after the whole hair thing. Maybe he is feeling bad and deciding to stop being such an ass,” Danny concludes, tucking into his sandwich. Josie’s head falls to one side looking at her food and she plays with it with her fork, she shrugs.

“I mean… I don't know. I think after everything that happened with his leg and not being able to play football… really got to him. Ya know,” Danny nods, placing his sandwich down while finishing chewing. 

“I mean, I know he feels guilty after how much money mom and dad spent on his treatment. Sending him away for the summer just for it to come to nothing but he can’t just use that as an excuse,” Danny's voice was serious and Josie couldn't help but sigh. 

“I know. But maybe he is just a bit lost. Wouldn't you be if the one thing that you were good at was taken away from you. I mean what if you were never able to watch all of your movies, or study plays or whatever,” Josie puts a bit of her chicken in her mouth and looks at Danny as he sighs and leans back in his chair. 

“Fair point. It is just when you are dealing with his mood swings all the time you can forget. And I just don't like the way he treats people sometimes. Especially what he's like with girls,” Josie laughs and nods. 

“Trust me i agree but like you said it seems that maybe he is turning over a new leaf,” Danny raises an eyebrow and nods his head towards her. 

“We’ll see,” he concludes and Josie snickers at him. Nathan walks up to them with a tray in his hand and sits down next to them.

“Hey guys,” he greets as he sits, smiling at the pair. 

“Nathan, to what do we owe the pleasure,” Danny asks sarcastically. 

“Ha ha ha,” Nathan counters, causing Josie to snicker at the pair. “So are you coming over tonight Josie, we are having lasagna,” Nathan asks and Danny rolls his eyes. 

“I have already been asked, and as always I would be honored” Josie smiles at him and Nathan shakes his head with a smile on his face. “I don't know why we even bother asking you anymore,” Nathan states and Josie and Danny look at each other and look at each other with a knowing look. 

“Well if you are coming over tonight can you teach me that one song that you do on the guitar that i like. I have been trying to figure out the chords but i can't get it,” Nathan shoves some food in his mouth and Josie nods her head at him. 

“I would love to, but I am going to have to stop at my house on the way to get my guitar,” she tells them and Danny nods his head. 

“I’ll make sure that Cole stops off,” Danny tells her and she nods back at him. Lifting her head up she sees Cole walking in with his hands in his pockets, hair messily laying on top of his head, covering his forehead. Cole looks over towards her direction and sends a small smirk towards her and Josie can't help turning her attention to the food on her tray, a maroon colour decorating her freckled cheeks. When it came to the Cole effect, to say the least she wasn't immune to it, if anything she was very much impacted by it. 

Authors Note- Read on Wattpad to get a playlist and cast list.

Wattpad - Fanfic_writing_girl

Taglist- @lol6sposts

#cole walter oneshot #cole walter x fem!reader #cole x reader #cole walter #cole walter x reader #alex walter #my life with the walter boys #noah lalonde #danny walter #nathan walter #own character #mlwtwb #mlwtwb imagines #will walter #katherine walter #george walter #isaac garcia #lee garcia #benny walter #parker walter #jordan walter

[marie-swriting]

The Slut Of Hawkins - Steve Harrington [1/2]

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

Stranger Things Masterlist

Part two

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : You're paying for the consequences of dating Steve Harrington.

Warnings : italics are for flashbacks, Slutshaming, school bullying (reader getting bullied) (talk to someone if you're being bullied!), implied sex, Steve is a bit of a coward, bad relationship with parents, angst, sad ending, fighting.

Word count : 3.5k

Song inspiration : Because I Liked A Boy by Sabrina Carpenter

The laughs were filling the fresh air of the early night. Laying on your backyard trampoline, you were cuddling against Steve. You had been getting closer recently and you had to admit, it made you feel good to have someone to talk to, especially when your parents weren’t there - which was pretty often, that night was another proof.

Steve held you a bit tighter in his arms while you were talking about your favourite singers. You had said some names like Madonna, Bowie though, it was the mention of The Beatles that caught his attention.

“The album Help! is definitely my favourite.” Steve informed you.

“Same for me, I love all of the songs but You’re Going To Lose That Girl and It’s Only Love have a special place in my heart.” you said whilst Steve looked away. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, it’s just that It’s Only Love was our song, to me and Nancy.”

“You really loved her, didn’t you?”

“She was my first love. Unfortunately, it ended pretty badly. It became complicated after her best friend Barbara disappeared. Besides, I have to admit, I was at fault, too but I’m trying to be better.”

“I’m sure you will.” you affirmed hugging him a bit more against you. “You’re not the same Steve you used to be. We wouldn’t be here, otherwise. You’re a good person, Steve, don’t doubt it for a second.” 

“Thanks for what you just said.” Steve smiled at you.

“Anyway, what do you think of I Need You?”

“Not really my favourite.”

“Steve Harrington, I am appalled! How dare you say this kind of stuff?” you exclaim, faking shock.

“You asked for my opinion.”

“And you were supposed to agree with me.”

“I don’t like it, it’s not my fault.”

“You just don’t get this song. You’ll see, you’ll be a fan of it one day, I’ll make sure of it.” you stated looking at him right in the eyes.

“I’m dying to see that.”

Your lips were only a few inches away. You didn’t dare to make the first step, even if you were dying to, you were too afraid to have read too much in between the lines. You liked Steve a lot, but you weren’t sure he wanted the same thing. Steve looked at you with stars and tenderness in his eyes, yours were quite similar. You both were waiting to see which one would bend first. Steve was the one who ended up breaking the inches by pressing his lips against yours. Your lips were moving slowly, taking in this innocent moment of the beginning of your relationship.

Now, the innocence is gone. Once you close your locker door, the word “slut” is written in big letters, reminding you of the price you had to pay for this moment. Who knew cuddling on trampolines could be so reckless? 

Far away, Steve is watching you. However, the second you turn your head toward him, he looks down and goes in the opposite direction. It’s been the same thing for a month. You are called names and Steve turns a blind eye. You are accused of being a homewrecker and Steve receives sympathy for the pain you supposedly caused him.

During the day, you keep your head low, not wanting to draw more attention to you. Unfortunately, the insults just like the degrading pieces of paper keep coming your way. The only moment of peace you have is during lunchtime. 

At first, you hid in the bathroom then you ended up running into some girls who made you understand they weren’t on your side so you went to find a safe place in the janitor closet. At least, no one can bother you there. You don’t like the way you accepted the bullying however every time you tried to explain the situation, no one listened to you. So, now, you don’t say anything and you let people tell you who you are, hoping this story will end soon. 

In the afternoon, you have chemistry. As you got used to the past month, you sit at the end of the class, wanting to be far away from your classmates' judging look. You do your best to stay focused on the lesson but you have to admit since the beginning of the rumours, your grades have been falling. You keep your energy to survive the comments so you don’t have enough of it to keep your grades high.

While you finish writing what Mr. Kaminski just said, he announces you’ll work in pairs. Right away, your stomach twists and you want to throw up. You can’t work in pairs. You’ve never been a fan of group projects however now you hate it; it’s an open door to being called names nonstop for a whole hour. The teacher informs he’s already made the groups before saying them out loud. Like a convicted person, you wait for him to say your name. You’re part of the last group and you’re with Tucker Walker. At the mention of his name, you want to die. He’s part of the basketball team and he’s entitled. You don’t like him. You try to negotiate with your teacher to work alone but he insists.

“Come here, Y/L/N, I’m not gonna eat you.” Tucker laughs.

Reluctantly, you gather your stuff and go to his desk. You put as much distance as possible, wanting to avoid new rumours.

“I’m going to do the whole exercise and I’ll put your name on the sheet like this, you’ll have nothing to do.” you announce while starting to read what you have to do.

“Who said I didn’t want to work with you?”

“I don’t want to work with you.” you specify. “Now, do something else and let me work.”

“On the contrary, I’m sure I can be useful.” he contradicts, putting his hand on your knee.

“Take your hand off.” you say through gritting teeth.

“What?”

“Your hand. I don’t like you and if I’m not mistaken, you’re with someone.”

“It didn’t stop you with Harrington.” he says before leaning in. “You can meet me behind school later.”

“No.”

“You don’t have to play hard-to-get because we’re in class.”

“I’m not playing hard-to-get, I just don’t like you.” you repeat, trying to stay calm.

“That's what you say now.”

By some luck, Tucker takes his hand off and lets you work. You’re surprised to see him give up so easily. You know it’s hiding something else, from now on, you have to avoid him.

You finish the work sheet the same second the bell rings at the end of the class. You pack your stuff quickly and give the sheet to your teacher before leaving the room. Tucker doesn’t follow, allowing you to sigh in relief.

Walking by your locker, you discover the insult is gone. It’s one of the positive things with the janitor, he always erases the insults right away. Though, no matter how many times he erases them, he’s never reported it to the principal, leaving you on your own with the high schooler venom.

The moment you leave school, you walk to your car when you get stopped in your tracks. In front of you, there are four girls, Jessica - Tucker’s girlfriend - included. You try to not show anything, mentally preparing yourself for what she’s going to tell you.

“What makes you think you can hit on Tucker, my boyfriend?” she asks drily, “Being his chemistry partner and telling him to meet you behind school? That’s where you were going, weren’t you? He’s not coming. Unlike Steve, he won’t let the slut of Hawkins destroy our relationship.” Jessica affirms, you’re about to answer when she beats you to it. “Don’t even try to deny it, Tucker told me and Sarah heard you!”

“Well, she can’t hear correctly then and your boyfriend is lying. Tucker is the one who hit on me and I stopped him. He put his hand on my knee and told me to meet him behind school.” you retort, annoyed.

“You think I’m gonna believe you over my boyfriend and my best friend?”

“I know you’re not going to believe me. It’s so much easier to believe your boyfriend who tells you what you want to hear rather than the girl who shows you the true colour of your boyfriend. Don’t be too disappointed the day you’ll discover he’s cheated on you, if he hasn’t done it already.” you state with a fake smile.

“Take that back.”

“Why ? Everyone knows he’s a cheater.”

“He’s different with me.” Jessica insists and you shake your head.

“That's what he wants you to believe but the truth is, he’s sleeping around while keeping you under his hat.”

The sound of the slap resonates in the school parking lot. You look at Jessica with eyes wide open whilst you’re touching your cheek. For you, that’s your last straw, you answer to her attack by pulling at her hair. Jessica’s scream alerts the adults around while her friends try to separate you two. You keep giving her a piece of your mind when two arms wrap themselves around your body and gets you away from Jessica. Being separated doesn’t stop both of you from insulting one another and trying to go for the throat again until Mister Jenkins arrives.

“That’s enough! What is going on here?”

“She attacked me!” Jessica lies, pointing at you.

“What? You’re the one who slapped me first.”

“She’s lying, we saw her, sir!” a friend of Jessica adds.

“They’re lying, Jessica did hit her first.”

Looking behind you, you discover the one who is holding you back and who is defending you is none other than Eddie Munson. You didn’t even see he was around and you certainly didn’t expect him to defend you.

“Are you seriously going to believe what Munson is saying?” Jessica questions, faking tears. “He’s always against us! He’d say anything to get us in trouble. I’m the victim here-”

“You’re talking nonsense, you-” you cut her off before Jenkins gets your attention back.

“Enough! I have enough. Go to the principal, now!”

And that’s how you end up in Mister Higgins’ office for the first time. You can’t believe the situation got this bad. The worst part isn’t listening to the disapproving speech of the headmaster, it’s actually witnessing your mom’s disappointment beside you as he speaks.

While the principal is explaining to your mom and Jessica’s mom what happened, you look at your feet, holding back tears of anger. Once he’s done talking, Higgins catches your and Jessica’s attention.

“Do you have anything to add?”

“I didn’t attack her first.” you insist.

“Everybody saw you!” Jessica retorts.

“You’re the one who accused me of stealing your boyfriend. I did nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, just like you didn’t break Nancy and Steve’s relationship.”

“Sir,” you start, trying to keep a calm voice, “I’ve been receiving insults for more than a month now from everyone including Jessica. She called me a slut then she slapped me when I told her her boyfriend was cheating on her. Eddie Munson saw it, he told Mister Jenkins.”

“Munson,  the one leading a cult? What a reliable source!” Jessica’s mother states, rolling her eyes.

“Madam, please.” Mr. Higgins reprimands. “One witness against Jessica’s three friends doesn’t bring a lot to the table.”

“So you’re not even going to do something about the harassment I’ve been receiving?”

“Y/N.” your mom says drily.

“I’ve never heard anything about people being mean to you. However, your grades haven’t been going down for some reason.”

“If you cared a bit more about your student, maybe you’d know why.”

“Y/N, enough!” your mom orders you before turning to Mister Higgins. “I apologise. I guess Y/N will be punished?”

“Indeed, we can’t tolerate this kind of behaviour. Technically, this kind of situation can lead to expulsion though considering Y/N has always been a good student - until now -, we’ll just say she’s going through a bad phase. Y/N will have a month of detention and you will be doing an assignment on bullying.”

Before you can protest, your mom glares at you. You stay silent while your mom apologies once again for your behaviour. Your mom’s grip on your arm forces you to stand up and to leave the office. She doesn’t say anything until you arrive at your car where she orders you to get home right away.

Once you’re home, your mom informs you you’re not allowed to drive your car therefore, you have to take the bus to go to school before informing you to stay in your room until your father arrives.

The second you close the door, you finally let your tears of anger stream down your face. You’re frustrated by the whole situation and you have never felt this alone before. You lay down on your bed rolled up in a ball, searching for some comfort. As you search for that much-needed comfort, your mind takes you back to a time in your life when you had it without needing to make any effort.

At one point, you had this comfort with you. When everything was still going great, it wasn’t rare for Steve to come to your place and put on a smile on your face.

You had been a couple for three months and no one knew about your relationship. You preferred to not say anything, wanting to protect what you had. Thanks to your relationship, you both felt less alone, you finally felt like someone cared about you, that was why you felt so good with him. Therefore, you would see each other when your parents weren’t home. As you didn’t want to stay alone for another night, you had invited Steve to come. Knowing he was in the same situation, Steve had rang at your door thirty minutes later.

Laying on your bed, you were enjoying each other’s presence after your first intimate moment you had just shared. Steve had his arms wrapped around your hips, pressing your back against his torso.

“You know,” Steve started, whispering in your ear, “maybe you’re too late to be my first love, but you’ll always be my favourite. I like what we have.”

“Me too. I like you, Steve, a lot.” you told him, turning around to look at him.

“I like you a lot, too.” he replied, tenderly kissing you.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the harsh voice of your father ordering you to come downstairs. You fastly wipe the tears away from your cheeks and prepare yourself for what your parents are about to tell you. While you’re walking down the stairs, your father makes a sign to go to the kitchen. You sit whilst your parents stay on their feet on the other side of the table, a severe expression on their faces.

“Is it true what your mother told me? You’re getting into fights now?” your dad says, angry.

“I was only defending myself, Jessica attacked me first.”

“Why would she attack you? I know her dad, she’s a nice girl.”

“She called me a slut and she accused me of stealing her boyfriend when I didn’t do anything.”

“Why does she say you did then?” your mom questions, annoyed.

“Because she’s against me like everyone else in this school!”

“Lower your tone, young lady.” your father orders.

“It’s about what she said about Steve and Nancy, isn’t it?” your mother wants to know with accusing eyes.

“Yes, they accuse me of breaking their relationship when it’s not the truth.”

“Because you never did anything with Steve, didn’t you?”

“How do-” you start, shocked to discover she knows.

“It’s a small town and you really thought the neighbours wouldn’t see you sneaking in a boy in our own house?”

“You sneaked in a boy?” your father angers.

“And according to Miss Johnson, it went on for several months,” your mom specifies, “aren’t you ashamed of yourself?”

At this sentence, the tiny bit of hope you still had about your parents disappears. You can’t believe your own mother is against you. You’re getting used to the reputation people gave you but hearing your own mother implying you’re less than good because of your relationship is the final blow. You can’t understand how liking a boy could destroy everything.

“Steve and I got together after he broke up with Nancy, I almost wasn’t talking to him when he was still dating her. Steve was my boyfriend and we did nothing wrong!” you defend yourself, feeling the tears coming.

“Of course and you did nothing wrong when you attacked this poor Jessica.”

“Poor Jessica? She insulted me and hit me. I did nothing. Why don’t you want to believe me? I’m your own daughter and yet, you’d rather believe Jessica than me.”

“The facts are here!” Your father yells. “Besides, we should have reacted a long time ago, have you seen your grades? Do you really think you’re going to pass your year like this?”

“My grades are getting worse because I’m going through a living hell at school.”

“Stop playing the victim! We have enough of your behaviour. You have to do better and quickly. Go to your room right now! And don’t forget to apologise to Jessica.”

Tired of screaming in the void, you don’t answer your mother’s order and run to your room. Mad, you slam the door behind you. Normally, you’d be scared to hear more reproaches however at this moment, it’s the least of your concerns.

You throw yourself on your bed and you hold back a scream of frustration. You can’t understand why your own parents don’t have your back. They didn’t even try to listen to you, they only blame you some more. You know it’s stupid yet a part of you was hoping they would understand. You were wrong, no one is on your side; you didn’t think it possible, yet, you feel even more alone.

If you thought you already were the public enemy, the second you get back to school the following day, you realise it’s worse. Everyone is staring at you, you’re called even more names just like the whisperings got worse. You’re being even more discreet than usual - if it’s possible - wanting to keep to yourself.

In hindsight, you tell yourself you wouldn’t recommend dating boys with exes, it’s not worth all the pain and all the bullying that comes with it, in particular if the boy in question ignores you.

When you go to your last class of the day, you wish you could say you’re finally about to breathe but you still have detention. You have to stay at school a few more hours.

Sitting at your usual seat in your history class, you put your notebook on your desk. Your eyes land on the last page you wrote until they fall on the inscription carved on the desk: “the slut of Hawkins = Y/N.” It’s not the first time you see those words, it’s actually on this very table you discovered your life was about to change before you could do something about it. Despite the time, those words still feel like a knife in your chest. You distinctly remember the moment where everything fell apart.

You were behind the school building with Steve. You had been together for four months but contrary to the first three, it wasn’t going on so well between you two. You didn’t get along anymore. No matter your effort to hold him close, it was always ending in an argument. The main reason for it was that you were more invested in this relationship than Steve. You had noticed this the moment you had tried to get closer to him at school.

“I’m not asking for a lot, Steve! I’m not asking to make out with you in front of everyone, I just want to, at least, be able to talk with you without you ignoring me. I’m your girlfriend and yet, it looks like you don’t know me.”  you pleaded, mad and desperate.

“You said you wanted to keep our relationship for us.” Steve retorted, avoiding your eyes.

“That was before it became more serious between us. I like you and I want to say you’re my boyfriend.”

“I know but you know that with Nancy-”

“What are you bringing her into this? She moved on, unlike you! She’s with Jonathan, I don’t think she cares if you’re dating again. Why are you searching for an excuse? I thought you liked me, too.”

“It’s true.”

“Really? It doesn’t look like it!” you said, outraged. “I feel like I’m alone in this relationship. Everytime I take a step towards you, you push me away. I’m getting tired of it. I don’t even know why I even try to save our relationship when it’s clear you don’t care.” you finished, going inside the building.

“Y/N, wait-” he tried to hold you back.

“No, we’re done, Steve!”

That day, you ended your relationship with Steve, signing at the same time the end of your peaceful life in high school. While you were arguing, someone had heard you and had twisted the whole story. Before you could react, the rumours had started to fly a few days later at school that you had ruined the relationship with Nancy and Steve by seducing him. There was nothing you could do to correct the rumours. Just because you liked a boy, you got judged as a homewrecked and you had to accept your sentence.

Emails I Can't Send Masterlist

Stranger Things Masterlist

#marie swriting in english #Spotify #stranger things #steve harrington #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x you #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x female reader #stranger things angst #marie swriting with music #marie swriting with sabrina carpenter #marie swriting with eics

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twenty-Three

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: Another update this week?? I'm as shocked as anyone else, but hopefully this one will make up a little for the last! It's longer and a little less, um, idk, I can't say emotional?? because that would be a lie:/ Still, there are some developments! Also, it'll make sense a lot later but the 2nd image and the use of a Ride song are used in this one!

Hope you enjoy! Also thank you for all the love on this current series, it means a whole lot and keeps me writing xx

Warnings: similar to that of the last post! so pls look back there if you'd like to know!:)

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

“I said no.”

Stressed was a feeling beyond words at this point. The past couple of days all I’d had was press hounding at me, calling and texting, emailing at all hours of the fucking day. They wouldn’t let up, even after I’d stayed silent. Adi reckoned it was mostly down to Teddy’s involvement in the whole thing. I didn’t want to think much more about it, although I knew she wasn’t wrong.

“Give me a reason at least?"

I shot a scathing glare over my shoulder before turning back to the filing system I’d taken to reorganising. It was my first morning back at the studio since... yeah, well Finn had Teddy- another factor to my current load of stress- whilst Adi was off doing something or other. I hadn’t asked, fearful of putting more of a strain on her current friendship- relationship??- with Ross, so instead I’d just chosen to tidy and rearrange the entire setup we had going on here. Because that was perfectly normal. And not a fucking way to evade talking or thinking about the mess that was my life. Okay?

“I don’t need a fucking reason, I just don’t want to.” I retorted, hissing slightly when I suddenly cut my thumb on the edge of a document. I withdrew my hand quickly and raised it towards my mouth, letting my eyes slip close for a moment when I heard a footfall step closer.

“Let me see.” Jamie sighed, probably thinking I’d done something worse to my hand than just a papercut. To be fair, the cabinet was old. One of them filing types from the ninety’s that we’d gotten for a score down at some boot sale, so I wouldn't be surprised if one of us did eventually end up losing an arm.

I shook my head and pushed the cabinet drawer closed, “It’s fine, just a papercut.”

Jamie huffed an amused chuckle before settling down on the edge of the desk nearby. It was Adi’s, you could tell from the sheer amount of shit she had accumulating it.

“One thing after another with you.”

My head tilted towards him with a deadened expression, “Ha ha.”

The older man raised his hands up in a mocking surrender, showing he hadn’t meant any real harm. “Too soon?”

I kicked at the toe of the leather boots he wore in retort as I moved towards the kitchenette, aware that he was just trying to lighten my horrendous mood but not really in the right mind for it. 

“You want a brew?” I asked, not bothering to give him an honest reply to that question of his. Too soon? Yes, that was all too fucking true.

“Have a coffee if there’s one going.”

I dipped my head in a slight nod, filling the kettle and setting it to boil before snagging the coffee often reserved for guests on the show from a shelf nearby.

Jamie moved to better face me on Adi’s desk as I did so, wearing that same expression he’d turned up in, all concerned and weary. It bothered me a bit, seeing as though it was all I had garnered since the press had had their field day with my life, but I could also understand why. They all just seemed to feel for the idiot stupid enough to fall into another of Matty Healy’s traps.

“Stop.”

“Stop what?” He wondered around a light chortle at my demand, hands falling to rest between his thighs.

I gestured towards his face whilst I poured a splash of milk into my mug, “Looking at me like that, like I’m gonna break or something.”

With a sigh, he pressed his lips together. “You know it’s not like that.” I rolled my eyes in return but he just bounded on, “You know it’s not, I just care is all.”

I forced out a breathless chuckle, “That why you’re here trying to get me to hear him out then?”

To be fair to him, Jamie had come right out with it when he’d first popped by, having messaged me asking after my whereabouts earlier this morning. I’d told him, having spoken to him quite a bit over the last couple days, and then found him on the doorstep. 

Jamie had been good with everything. He’d let me vent, rally against one of his friends and clients, question his own motives- and hadn’t even complained one bit. But now he was here asking me to give Matty a chance, a lot like he’d done that first time around in that small cafe all those months ago.

“I know you’re angry, you have every right to be.”

“Of course I’m fucking angry!” I immediately shot back at him, the rattle of the teaspoon ringing out as I dropped it into a mug, “I wouldn’t care if it had just been me he’d gone and fucked over! But he brought Teddy into this shit, Jamie. My son! So tell me, how am I supposed to hear him out after he’s done something like that and then lied about it? For weeks, mind you.”

Jamie looked back at me, wearing that ‘this meant business’ mug of his. I slumped at the sight, pressing my knee against one of the lower cabinets to continue stirring the drinks. I didn’t care, I didn’t care, I didn’t care.

“There’s a lot you don’t know, Mouse.”

My eyes slipped closed at his words and I took a second to just breathe. Because I wasn’t angry, not really. I was hurt and humiliated, and just so fucking sad. Fed up with it all, if I was being honest. Enough so that I knew that Jamie was being truthful here- and not just because it was a fact that I hadn’t spoken to Matty since things had fallen apart, but also because I hadn’t had the heart to ask Teddy about things yet. Or if ever.

The kid was four. Four, and asking after a man every night before he fell asleep and then as soon as he opened his eyes the next morning.

He knew something was up, he was smart like that. But what was I meant to do- to say? When I was just as confused as he was.

I’d ended up leaving him with Finn today, having had no other choice in the situation because the nursery was closed for an inset day, or some shite like that, and it seemed I had no other friends than the few around me. 

Could quite literally count the lot of them on one hand. 

But still, Finn and I’s relationship had still been rather rocky after that whole incident with him and Matty, and hadn’t improved since. In fact, he’d been a little unbearable about everything, always one to toot his own horn whenever he was right about something. But it was always slyly and I couldn’t help but feel as though it was a constant dig, like even when he wasn’t commenting on it he was still thinking it whenever he looked at me.

Which felt so horrible to think, let alone say out loud. He was my best friend. So I’d kept my mouth shut and just dealt with it, like I did everything else in life.

“He’s messed up about it.” Jamie then spoke, his voice having startled me a tad, breaking me out of my musings. He was watching me again, only when he did it, it didn’t feel as condescending as everyone else's. Like he understood my position. And I guessed that he probably sort of did.

“I bet.” I scoffed quietly, an airy titter escaping through my nose, and then I turned to toss my teabag away.

“It’s true.” Jamie shrugged, then nodded in thanks when I pushed a coffee his way. “He’s been ‘round Ross’s ever since shit hit the fan, hasn’t left the flat. Driving the lot of us mad, but he’s torn up, Mouse.”

Tongue in cheek, I wrapped my hands around my cup and propped my hip up against the counter, staring into the still swirling liquid. “Serves him right, I guess.” I replied with a soft shrug of my own, though we both knew I didn’t quite mean it.

Jamie looked over towards one of the windows to the right, most of them were either way too long or too tiny for the space, an odd build, but this particular one gave way to the skyline lying over the remainder of the city. I often wondered what the lower levels might look out at, thinking it was probably the majority of the surrounding buildings, and couldn’t help but feel a little thankful that we’d managed to snag this unit.

When he glanced back over at me, I took a sip and let him speak.

“A lot went on, that much I know, and it’s your choice how you deal with it. But, I saw the two of you. I saw him change. Which is stupid to say, I know, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. He was different with you, he actually tried in other aspects of his life and not just with the band and the music. He looked genuinely happy.” He smiled softly at the eye roll I gave, but it didn’t appear to deter him. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you didn’t fucking cure him. Don’t work like that, does it? But you helped. You and Teddy both.”

I looked away then, back towards the window, unable to really help it, and instead allowed my eyes to trail over the clouds which powdered the dusty blue sky. 

“It was different. Things were different, and I know that there was love there. There couldn’t not have been. The way he looked at you…” Jamie shook his head ever so slightly as he breathed out, unaware of just how deeply his words had cut. But then he peered over at me and I found myself already looking back, air caught somewhere in the swell of my lungs. 

“Don’t.” I choked out, the grip on my mug having tightened tenfold. “Just,” I shook my head.

Jamie put his coffee down on the desk and moved to stand, hands raised to convey he wasn't a threat. “I’m not saying this to hurt you more, love. Just telling you how I saw it.”

I licked at my lower lip, casting my eyes downwards. Our silence stretched and all could be heard was the odd car horn and chirp from beyond the walls of the studio, until-

“Anyone here?”

I blinked back the tears which had started to well in my eyes and sniffed, head shooting up just in time to spot a familiar giant ducking their head under the beam of the doorway, limbs following right after.

George entered but then stopped short when he spotted his manager stood by me, and I laughed to myself at the way the pair of them seemed to eye one another, before stepping in, “Didn’t hear you ring the buzzer.”

Kind eyes darted over to find my soft smile then, welcoming him in, and so George finally moved in closer, laying the jacket he wore to rest over one of the armchairs.

“Yeah, someone was just leaving and let me in.” He answered my unasked question, shrugging as he added, “Dunno whether they recognised me or if they just let anyone up.”

“Probably the second,” Jamie piped up, seemingly having broken himself from his previous bout of surprise, “This lot ‘round here don’t give much of a shit about crap like that.”

I rolled my eyes, but was glad to have a reason to smile slightly. “Or they spotted the BFG making his way over and wanted to avoid pissing him off.”

Jamie cackled whilst George just shot me a narrow-eyed look, “Hilarious. That pot just boiled?” He asked me as he wandered over. I nodded in turn and moved to grab him a cup, only faltering when he lowered my hand with his own and shook his head. “I got it.”

I dipped my head slightly, blinking before taking a step back to let him work. He made a quick go of it, rummaging around the cupboards briefly to find what he needed and only asking for the spoon I still held for some odd reason when he was near done. 

Jamie appeared to have been watching him too, a calculating glaze to his eyes, and he chose that next moment to speak up, “How you been anyway, George? Not seen much of you lately.”

Something unspoken passed between them when George glanced over at him, but I couldn’t tell what.

“Good, busy.” Was what the taller decided on, throwing Jamie a quick smile when he crossed to toss his own teabag in the bin before settling on the counter to the left of me. “You?”

It almost sounded sarcastic, not how he said it but simply because he’d asked it at all, knowing everything that had recently occurred. It must have been a right nightmare for Jamie these last few days, what with him being the band’s main man.

Jamie just laughed though, goodnaturedly, though it was apparent that he was still trying to suss out what was going on, what with George’s sudden appearance. Seeing as I’d never once mentioned him to Jamie.

See, things with George had all started after that studio session Teddy had attended, followed by my wishing him a happy birthday just before Matty had gone and done what he did best. Wrecked it all.

Teddy had become all too smitten with the drummer since he’d first been introduced to the band and their many songs and music videos. He enjoyed the guitar he’d been gifted an awful lot, often playing with it and practising, but each time any sort of song played on the tele or the radio, or even in the car, it wasn’t hard to note the way Teddy instantly mimicked George’s swift movements, pretending to drum along to whatever beat heard. 

George had messaged me on Instagram later that same day, seeing as how apparently Teddy’s appearance at the studio had stuck with him, and asked after him a little. It seemed strange worded like that, but George reckoned that Teds had a real streak of a musicality about him, even as young as he was, and wanted to see if Teddy would be up for learning some more. 

Which had been a Godsend, honestly, what with how the next couple of days had gone down. I’d given him my number via dm just before the storm had started and then the afternoon that had followed the plethora of articles he’d called.

He’d asked how I was at first, almost consoling me in that easy way of his, so full of little words, which had been all too refreshing in truth.

I’d had texts and calls off of practically everyone I knew, even Ronan, the utter prick. And none had managed to soothe me quite like George’s had, seeing as the man had been there too. Not quite in my position, sure, but near enough. He’d even let a little of it slip when he’d popped on over that same day, bringing a bag of takeaway and a roll up drum mat as a gift for Teddy, who had been cooped up with me on the sofa for most of the afternoon. 

The two of them had bonded over it rather quickly, Teddy having been caught off guard by George’s sincerity almost as much as I had been. But then I'd found myself getting to know the drummer too and very much appreciating the unnecessary gesture he’d made for me, even with the pair of us not knowing one another as well as we could have.

I had no idea what was going on between him and Matty, I hadn’t had the balls to ask, but he’d mentioned he hadn’t heard much of anything from him since the night of his party, as well as the fact that his girlfriend, Charli, had been just as annoyed with everything that had gone down.

I knew he’d be stopping by at some point today, we’d made plans to get lunch once he’d heard I was back at the studio on my own, but not recording. I reckoned he was concerned and this was his way of showing it, but it was hard to tell with him most of the time seeing as he’d made it out as though I was doing him a favour here. An effort I came to find I much appreciated. 

“Work, you know how it is.” Jamie replied after a long pause. He was still standing in the same position he’d been in since George arrived, but seemed to move then, picking up what was left of his coffee and pouring what remained down the sink. “But I’d best be going, got a couple calls to make. You gonna be at the studio tomorrow?”

George hummed around his next sip, pulling away with only a dip of his chin. “Should be.”

Jamie smiled, nodding, “Good, I’ll let the rest of them know then.”

I caught George’s slight wince at that, though he didn’t protest his manager's comment. It made me wonder.

Jamie turned to me then, shucking on his jacket. I perked up, not having realised that he really was rushing to leave now. “Remember what I said, alright?”

I blinked, but then nodded. How could I forget? I wanted to ask, but instead said, “You don’t have to head out so quick.”

He sent me a reassuring grin as he flipped over the collar of his coat. “You won’t miss me much,” He then teased before roping me into a hug, “Weren’t lying when I said I had a couple calls though, so it’s best I get out of your hair whilst I still can.” 

I smiled softly at the sound of his lighthearted chuckle and nodded before following him over to the door, “Stay safe.”

Jamie rolled his eyes, all too used to my typical parting now, though amused by it all the same. “Can’t promise anything.” He retorted with a smirk, shuffling over the threshold whilst his eyes flickered back to where George still stood once more. “So, about before?”

I inhaled shakily, though Jamie didn’t seem to notice, fingering the pockets of his jacket in search of his mobile. “I’ll think about it.” I told him.

He flashed me a grin at that, pleased, then let his heel trail over to meet the top step of the metal grating. “Talk to you later then.”

I nodded and watched for a second as he descended the staircase, head bobbing down the first set before he turned and disappeared from view. Sliding back inside, I shut the door quietly behind me, taking a second to steel my nerves before facing the room again.

During that time, George had seemingly gone and made himself comfy on the settee, his mug settled on a coffee table coaster. I moved to join him after putting both mine and Jamie’s cups under the tap to rinse before just leaving them to soak.

George was fiddling with something when I sat down beside him but shuffled over a tad to allow me to get more comfortable, “So what was that about?” I questioned.

“With Jamie?” He asked and I nodded, even though I reckoned he already knew what I was on about. 

He shrugged slightly and I noted the way his finger trailed over a slip of folded paper, it was creased as though it had been played or fiddled with a dozen times too many. My brow seemed to furrow at the sight of it. 

“He tried phoning a few times but I’ve not been too keen on answering, learnt that I’ll just get dragged into the drama if I do.” George finally answered, and for some reason I felt a wad of guilt pool in my stomach upon hearing it, even though I hadn’t been the one to cause this mess.

Or maybe I was just kidding myself.

“Sorry.”

George huffed as he turned to peer over at me, elbows resting on the tops of his knees. “Nothing to be sorry for.” He told me and then gifted me a sweet smile, “None of this is on you. Just thought we were in the clear, you know?” He looked away at that and his smile dimmed into something smaller, almost sadder. “Figured I wouldn’t have to go dodging my mates calls anymore, or be roped into cleaning up everyone else’s messes.”

He reached a hand out to settle on my knee then, probably having noticed the way I was chewing on the insides of my cheek, or maybe the fact that my lip was now trembling. I’d never felt so shitty. So at fault for something I hadn’t really seen coming, nor could I prevent.

“Not your fault, remember?” He reiterated to me, squeezing my joint softly before pulling away. I sniffed before looking up at him with a tiny smile. 

“Promise I don’t usually cry this much. Just been a shitty week is all.” I told him, laughing pitifully as I toyed with the hem of the jumper I’d put on earlier that morning when I’d purposefully avoided the hoodie that had been left on my desk chair, as well as the cupboard full of clothes that didn’t belong to me.

I felt the settee dip slightly before I found him sitting right beside me, lifting an arm to wrap me up in a hug. His cheek came to rest on the side of my head and I felt my heart break that little bit more, because it reminded me that in a second, or two, I wouldn’t have that sense of protection he now offered, shielding me from the rest of the world.

“You’ve been put through the wringer.” George murmured and I had to laugh just a little bit, he laughed too, the sound of it reverberating through his chest to where my head rested. “Fucking cry if you want to, alright? No judgement here."

I spluttered a little on my next chuckle, smiling as I wiped at my eyes. George’s arm just tightened its hold by a fraction, as though he knew it would make things that little bit easier. We both sat there like that for a while, and I appreciated the fact that he was okay with a bit of quiet. That he didn’t run scared from it or try to start up an awkward conversation simply to fill it.

Silence was something I’d come to realise that George often favoured. Because sometimes that was all you really needed.

I don’t know how long we continued like that before he shuffled and pulled that same piece of paper from earlier back into view, holding the corner of it between his forefinger and thumb. I pulled away slightly, looking down at it and then back up at him with a small frown.

“What?”

George merely blinked, staring down at the paper with an odd look before he finally placed it in the hand I had resting on my thigh. My frown only deepened.

“What is it?” I asked him, finger trailing over an edge just as he had done when I’d first spotted it. When I went to unfold it from the opposing corner, he stopped me. 

Confused, I turned to raise a brow at him, only to find him already looking back at me. He bit into his lower lip and then flattened his mouth into a stern line, “I found that when I was last in the studio.”

My chest tightened for some reason, but I was still so baffled. “Okay?”

We were sitting up better now, George’s arm having slipped from my shoulders to come to rest in his lap, fingers trailing over his left hand’s rigid set of knuckles.

“I figured you should see it.” He added in his usual drawl, though his eyes flickered up from the paper to catch mine then and I realised it must've been important. He seemed wary enough to warrant it.

I went to unfold it once again, but then his hand really reached out to stop my own, “I don’t know if I should be here when you do.”

That alone made me even more curious, although there was an edge of caution that now warred at me. “Why?”

George gifted me a gentle smile, the hand that still laid over top of my own squeezing kindly. “I’ll go grab us some food, alright? If you want to open it then do, if not. I won’t mention it again.”

He moved to stand then but my hand shot out to grab at the sleeve of his arm, “George.” But I didn’t know what else to say, I knew I was fearful though.

His fingers moved to meet mine, resting there for a short moment, “It’s your choice. Just, I couldn’t keep it from you.”

I swallowed thickly as he pushed to his feet, the scuff off his heavy boots bouncing off the hardwood floors. Slowly he moved to grab his jacket, giving me time to say no, to deny his offer. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do much of anything really.

The door shut behind him with a soft click a minute later and the quiet of the studio suddenly consumed me. When I glanced back down at the paper I held once more I saw the slight tremble of my hands. I forced myself to exhale, but even that was shaky.

I was careful as I unfolded it, listening to the rustle it made before scrawled lines that had bled through to the other side caught my attention. Pausing, I took a moment to just look at them and then thoughtlessly hurried to reveal the rest of it, taking in its full form. My throat tightened at the sight of familiar scribbles.

You had me from the start  Pulling all the stops out  On the down low, secretly  But I think you knew your psychology  Was working on me  Infatuated  And doing this all wrong  You've got  My number and my name  And you've got me going  Yeah, you've got me going  Can I see you every day?  Do you love me  Like I love you?  Ah, you've got me going  Yeah, you've got me going

(Song: Ride - Future Love)

It was as if something in me had shifted and then turned, sparking itself its very own flame on a bone too sharp and growing and growing until its singed edges burnt and blackened every part of me. 

I must've sat there staring down at it for ages. Crying silently and alone in an empty room, something I’d been avoiding doing since this had all started. Though I supposed it had been inevitable.

His words. His thoughts. Bared to me on a single page. Him none the wiser to any of it. Probably having not even realised it was gone, or missing. And George had read it. He’d seen it and still, after everything, had given them to me.

A tear dropped from my chin then, blotting the page and I could only watch on as the dark ink appeared to cling to it, seeping further and further into the paper. Smudging the ‘Do you love me’ enough so that my breath stuttered and I was suddenly moving all too quickly for my mind to catch up with my thoughtless actions.

Not even a second later my phone was in my hand. 

Messages now To: Jamie O (glasses!) When can he meet me? 

–

Matty had always had a thing for Sundays. 

There was just something about them. Not all that Godly shite that people preached about it being holy and the first day of the week, ‘cause to him Monday would always hold that title- and Monday’s fucking sucked dick. 

No, it was because there was just something peaceful that settled on Sundays, it took him back to simpler times, of days when he’d just been a kid and roast dinners were spent ‘round his nana’s house. Or when Newcastle would play on afternoons and his dad would finally be home to watch with him. 

There was just something about them, you know. He didn’t much believe in luck, typically only the bad sort. But if someone held a gun to his head and told him he had to claim a day which would forever work in his favour, it would just have to be Sunday.

Still, he was unsure on where he currently stood with that sentiment as of late. Seeing as how he was currently in the backseat of a cab, jittery hands clinging onto shaking knees whilst rows of houses, broken up by hues of green and blue, rolled on past him.

It hadn’t been a last minute thing, but it felt much like it. The anticipation was getting to him, he knew that much, sweat licking at the back of his neck whilst his shoulders worked their way up to the lobes of his ears.

Jamie had somehow managed it.

Called him up late last night just before Ross had headed off to bed to tell him that she would finally see him. Jamie’d asked if he’d be alright going alone or if they’d prefer a buffer there, but Matty had immediately declined. So he was doing it alone. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if that had been a misstep on his part, if it would have made things easier on her having someone there, or maybe just given him some semblance of relief as the car slowly drove its way over to her house. The very place he hadn’t stepped foot in since the night of George’s birthday party.

But he hadn’t earnt that reassurance. Felt wrong to bring somebody else along either way. So he was stuck, toying with his phone, hoping or praying that a text wouldn’t come through saying that she’d gone and changed her mind.

It had been just under a week since he’d last seen her. But it felt as though time had dragged out slowly, mocking him or maybe even torturing him for all of his many wrongdoings. 

He fretted over what she might say when she caught sight of him, he himself having only spotted the state he’d worked himself into when he’d been getting ready that morning.

There were heavy bags set beneath his eyes from where he hadn’t really slept and his cheeks were hollowed in that way that they used to revert to when he’d have a particularly hard weekend way back when. If the papers caught wind of him he already knew what the first articles would say, what they would so obviously claim. But he knew the truth, just hoped that she would know it too.

He was startled from his mind at the jerk of the car pulling up onto the nearest curb. His eyes widened in sudden alarm when he realised just what that meant and then caught the look of dismay that crossed the driver’s face when the bloke looked back to announce that they’d arrived. If the man didn’t already think he was on something, then now he definitely did.

Matty swallowed stupidly and then tried for a smile, struggling to undo his seatbelt with the kickstart of shaking that overtook his hands. The driver took pity on him though, turning away to fiddle with something up front that probably didn’t need fiddling with, and finally Matty’s thumb managed to catch the button.

Releasing himself from the confines of the car, he paused just before the door could slam close behind him, handing the man a couple notes in tip, if only to apologise for his edgy behaviour or buy himself a little more time if the driver had somehow managed to suss him out even with his hat, hood and scarf. “Cheers.” He said.

The man blinked at the onslaught of cash and then nodded repeatedly, “Yes, thank you.”

Matty exhaled shakily and then dipped his chin in another goodbye, stepping back onto the curb and watching the cab pull away before he found himself alone once more.

This was it, he supposed.

The street hadn’t changed much in a matter of days but his mind made it seem as though it had. As though suddenly he didn’t belong. The odd man out.

He shoved his hands into the confines of his pockets, pivoting on his heel to face what he’d come here to do. But nothing had prepared him for the way his stomach suddenly bottomed out at the sight of her front door.

The sound of a car horn a way away spooked him, causing him to jump, but did eventually force him forward off the curb and onto the cracked pavement. He stared down at all the dips and curves they had to offer him the entire way up the path until finally, he reached her front steps.

If anyone asked, Matty would tell them it was as though he’d been working on autopilot when he pried the silver knocker up from the wood and let it rap twice. Though that would be an utter lie. His head screamed at him the whole while and his fingers blurred before him when he’d raised them up to grasp at the chilled metal. 

He’d never felt so sick, just standing there, the seconds slowly trickling into minutes, or perhaps even hours. It honestly felt as the day was slowly growing colder the longer that he stood there, staring at a coat of familiar paint, before finally hinges creaked and the door opened, revealing a sight that would’ve surely cured sore eyes, if only it hadn’t gone and broken his heart first.

It wasn’t immediate, the effect the past couple days had had on her. It was more in the way she held herself, the sadness which clung to her every fibre, the way she wouldn’t quite look him in the eye.

She stared, caught in a standstill, and for a long moment did nothing before silently and slowly she withdrew enough to allow him through.

Matty didn’t dare utter a word, let alone breathe. Careful to avoid brushing against her or stepping on her toes as he slowly crossed over the threshold to get in, though the hands he’d hidden in his coat pockets curled into fists to keep himself steady.

The first thing he noted upon first entering was the significant state of the flat, it wasn’t messy or untidy by any means, but looked nothing at all like a house typically inhabited by a child should, or at least a monster as chaotic as he knew Teddy to be. It was almost as though Mouse had been expecting a letting agent to pass through with a couple dozen couples, what with how clean it was. He almost reckoned that if he were to crouch down right there he’d probably be able to make out the seam of his jeans in the reflection of the floors.

“You can just hang your-”

“I know.” Matty whispered, not intentionally meaning to cut her off but unable to help himself anyway. 

It hurt, feeling as though he was just a guest in a place he had practically considered home not too long ago. He coughed lightly and shrugged off his coat to do so anyway, hanging it up where he usually did, something which made him pause for a split second, wondering whether this could possibly be the last time he’d have the privilege of doing so.

“Right.” Mouse murmured somewhere behind him, snapping Matty out of his thoughts. She stepped on by him just after, eyes trained on the end of the hallway until they reached the living room, “Erm, I’m just starting on a brew. You can wait here if you want.”

He wanted to follow after her, to fall down onto his knees and fucking sob there at her feet, but he was scared he’d dirty her floors or more than likely end up looking like a total knob. He would. Fucking felt like one just from thinking it. So he did as instructed, moving towards the sofa, taking note of everything and anything the room had to offer him. 

Matty’s eyes flickered over to the kitchen doorway when he realised she’d stopped there, fiddling with her nails before she caught him looking and dropped her hands. “Just realised I didn’t ask if you wanted anything.”

God, it was so fucking strained.

He took a short breath in and attempted to smile, “Tea sounds good.” Was all that he said, and watched on as her brow wrinkled, head tilting with it.

“Uh, I still have that coffee you like. The one you brought over, if you’d prefer.” She told him and he recognised her confusion for what it was, or maybe it was just her weariness over letting him know that his stuff was still where he’d left it. Or, maybe, just fucking maybe he was reading way too much into everything.

“Tea’s good.” Matty murmured, feeling a little less tense now that he knew that she was sort of sitting in the same boat. “But thanks.”

Her chest rose and fell with her next breath and he watched her nod with difficulty at him, still not meeting his eye. “Right, just be a sec then.”

She disappeared past the door with that, whilst he simply stood and listened to the run of the tap and then the flick of the kettle, feeling stupid for having missed something he hadn’t even realised he’d taken note of before. 

But that was just typical, wasn’t it? To miss something so mundane now that it was no longer expected.

Once he heard the clink of mugs Matty allowed his gaze to roam, trailing over the bundle of neatly folded throws settled on the wicker basket by the sofa, ones he knew that if Teddy was here would still be scattered all over the floor before the tv. 

There were a couple of coasters laid out on the coffee table, though the fruit bowl had since been removed, something he knew Mouse did whenever there were only a few pieces left or none at all. There would probably be grapes or something of the sort in the fridge though.

She had a couple of receipts left out on the shelf below the mirror she’d hung up on the wall when she’d first moved in, and the picture frames beside them were still the same. Only one was missing, and he knew which. 

He noticed that the candles over by the lamp were new though, expensive if he remembered rightly because he was sure that he’d spotted them round someone else’s place recently. He wondered briefly over who could’ve gifted them to her, knowing that she much preferred her usual scents, only ever splurging on the larger Yankee Candle jars they had to offer in the local Debenhams.

He found himself smiling at the thought.

It was then that she shuffled back into the room though, stalling his observations. She carried two mugs in her hand and a small plate loaded with biscuits on her forearm. Immediately Matty moved to help her, taking the plate from her even with knowing that she had it handled.

“I could’ve managed.” She murmured, though not unkindly, and then thanked him quietly once she’d gone and placed the mugs down. 

Matty followed her lead, settling the biscuits near the edge of the coffee table, between the two coasters, before fumbling for a second over where to sit. Squeaks seemed to take to one end of the settee so Matty perched on the other, though closer to the middle crease than the arm.

“You got hobnobs?” Matty finally asked, breaking the silence again, eyes flicking over to the plate he’d just held before shooting back over to find her.

She blushed faintly at his comment, then shrugged. “You like them, don’t you?”

Matty scoffed lightly, a soft smile limning his lips, “Yeah, but you hate them. Once claimed that they were like digestives only after being shat out.”

She wrinkled her nose at that, though Matty was quite sure he could spot the mirth that flickered across her face. “Want them or not?”

Rolling his eyes in fond exasperation and knowing not to push it, he picked one up and settled in a little more comfortably into the sofa cushions.

The silence would’ve been almost unbearable if she hadn’t had the foresight to have turned the tv on low before he’d arrived. So whilst a documentary played on one of the many BBC channels, Matty struggled with himself to find the best thing to say. Though he needn’t have bothered, she was always one step ahead.

“So, I think I should start by saying that I um, I know I held a lot of expectations.” 

Almost simultaneously, Matty frowned.

She just wrung her hands together once before thinking better of it and laying them flat in her lap. Matty merely wished to reach out and take them in his own. “And I get that it must’ve been a struggle for you, to basically go from like one end of a scale and then jump right off the other side. But, I-”

“What are you on about?” Matty interrupted, unable to help himself in truth, so beyond baffled by the sudden speech she’d started. She stopped and blinked over at him, finally looking him in the eye. At last.

“What do you mean?” She retorted with a pinch between her brows, “Listen, I planned this all out, alright? So can I just get out what I want to say?”

Matty stared, then forced out a breath of air. “Squeaks,” She shuttered at the name, closing off slightly, enough so that Matty took quick note and wished he hadn’t said a thing, but yet, he still carried on. Desperate to save any blundered attempt he’d make. “Look, this weren’t on you. None of it was, okay?”

Her eyes trailed back over towards him at that, though her expression was almost unreadable. Matty struggled with that bit the most, he’d always been able to read her for the most part.

“So, this crap about expectations and me struggling with whatever idea you’ve made up in your mind is stupid.” Her eyes narrowed then and he watched her work her jaw, obviously none too happy about his retort. He withheld a heavy sigh, “I’m not- Look, I’m not trying to be difficult I’m just saying that- What I’m trying to say is, that every relationship has goals or expectations, that’s normal. But nothing you ever did forced me do what I did. That shit? It was all on me. It was me being insecure and scared, yeah? So, don’t go trying to excuse it. Because I’ve had people do that for me for far too fucking long now and hearing it come from you...” 

He sort of felt himself slump at that, a little bitter and resentful over the fact that she’d since come to think of it that way. As though his mistakes were all just down to her and her inability to do right by him. He realised though, belatedly, that if anyone else had done exactly that, or even attempted to, in any other scenario he just might have taken up the offer and ran with it. But this was her, this was Squeaks. 

She was quiet for a time, then she picked up her mug, eyes trained on the movement of it before, “What then?” 

“What?” Matty frowned once more, shuffling forward in his seat in an attempt to catch her eye again.

“Why did you do it then? Why’d you lie, why didn’t you tell me about Teddy?”

That knot he’d been feeling for weeks now. The one at the very end of his tongue, all tied and tangled in the back of his throat, suddenly shrivelled up and slackened, leaving a bitter aftertaste and a plethora of guilt behind.

Matty’s gaze wandered over to the window, to where Teddy’s guitar sat in its stand just before a heavy set of grey curtains. He withheld the urge to pick at his nails as he searched for the right words to give her, wanting so honestly to tell her the truth, to give her a play by play of what had happened in detail, as well as every thought that had gone through his mind. 

“It wasn’t what it looked like for a start.”

Mouse scoffed a little at that, and Matty couldn’t be mad at it. If he was sat on the other end of this he’d been doing more than just that, he’d be up in arms, tossing shit about and raving to all who would listen.

Still, his eyes trailed down to where his hands now laid in his lap and he pressed his thumb to his palm. “We were on the highstreet, on the way back here.” He started, voice quiet as his stare tracked the faint lines of his hand, “The guy you saw in the pictures came out of nowhere really. Me and Teds had just been at that ice cream shop a way down, I didn’t even spot him until he was there, in my face.”

Matty wet his lower lip, mouth suddenly going dry. Mouse just waited.

“Teddy was quick to hide behind me, you know? The loudmouth didn’t even really notice him until the last minute. But you have to know, all I wanted was to get him out of there. To avoid staying too long and attracting the wrong sort of attention. Okay? So I’d said I had to get going as soon as he'd spoken, told him I didn’t have time to stay and chat.” 

He took a quick breath with that, eyes still centred on the deepest groove of his palm. “But then he, then he brought up Luke. Said something about the funeral he didn't go to and wanting to celebrate his life.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Squeaks’s hands still from their previous bout of fidgeting. “But I told him I was clean. He didn’t believe me at first, which,” Matty huffed out a self-deprecating laugh, “Well, I can’t blame him for that, what with my track record.”

He heard her inhale then and looked up, it seemed as though she was going to say something but thought better. So Matty bit down on the insides of his cheeks to keep from asking before he exhaled slowly, digging a nail into that groove.

“He got a bit aggy, started calling me a toff and whatnot, because I 'spose I was just a rich boy who bought him a couple grams of coke every now and then.” He clucked his tongue thinking about it, but eventually shrugged. “Then I don’t know, he must’ve looked down or something ‘cause that’s when he,” Matty paused and his gaze shot over to her, then away again, “That’s when he spotted Teddy.”

Mouse wrinkled her mouth, then tried to nod, obviously wanting him to continue. Though she kept her eyes trained on the rim of her mug.

“That’s when he said some shit and I reacted.”

“Said what?”

Matty startled a little at the sound of her question but was hasty in his attempt to answer. “Just, he reckoned that Teddy was mine and that I had to have knocked someone up. So now they were just using me for the money.”

Her eyes slipped closed and her fingers tightened their grip on her cup.

Swallowing thickly, Matty went to continue, “I shoved him and told him to do one- that’s what they caught in those photos. I didn't take anything he offered, I didn't even look back after. Just walked away, thinking of Teddy, trying to get him out of there. The bloke, he kept on shouting, saying some crap about this and that. But I carried on walking.”

Matty was proud of that fact, even with everything that had happened since. Not too long ago, a different version of him would have handled it all too severely. It was a step, a tiny one, sure, but it was progress.

“Then what?” Mouse voiced, prompting him along with just a look.

“Then we walked home.” Matty replied, feeling that familiar cloud of shame dawn over him. “We didn’t really speak, I- I was a bit of a mess, trying to figure out what to do next, what to tell Teddy, to say to make it right again. But Teds, he,” Matty hauled in his next breath, all too fucking close to bawling, that he could admit. “He called for me and I looked down at him. All I could say was sorry, Mouse.”

She nodded tightly, the knuckles she had wrapped around her tea cup had whitened.

“He,” Matty felt the corners of his mouth lift as he remembered the bittersweet memory of Teddy trying to soothe him, “He told me it was alright, that we were okay, but I just kept on saying sorry. He said that the bloke was just a bad man, and I assured him of that. Wanting him to know that we were okay, that the guy was long gone. But then he-”

Matty stopped altogether then, a picture of Teddy's little face coming to the forefront of his mind, and Squeaks immediately took note.

“Then what?”

Her eyes were so full of emotion, but which ones he wasn’t too sure. Still, the sight tightened every muscle in his chest as he forced himself to finish what he’d started. “He said we couldn’t tell you.”

Matty knew he couldn’t have imagined the sharp inhale that sounded from her then, as though she'd just received a blow to the chest. And he so desperately wanted to reach out, to wrap her up and just fucking hold her. But he couldn't. It wasn't his place.

He watched on as she licked at her top lip though, blinking back the wetness that shone in her eyes, “Why?” Her voice cracked on the question but she did not cry.

It was a simple answer. “He didn’t want to hurt you.”

Mouse stood then, placing the cup down with some force before she hastily made her way over to the front window. Matty stayed seated, unsure if he’d be welcome near her.

“It fucking broke me, Squeaks.” He admitted after a moment, his lips now tingled with the sheer amount of effort it took for him to not let his emotions get the better of him. “I didn’t know what to do.”

“You should have told me.” Was her reply, sharp and cutting, enough that it fucking wounded. Because Matty knew that she was right.

“I know.” He answered.

“You should have fucking told me, Matty!” She repeated, turning then to face him. He saw the tremble of her shoulders, the curve of her mouth and how it quaked. He stared, couldn't bring himself to look away.

“I know.”

He swallowed, throat almost aching as much as the hole that made up the majority of his chest. 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

“I don't know.” He murmured, mostly to himself.

#the 1975 #fic #matty healy #angst #radio host #reader #x reader #x you #george daniel #ross macdonald #the 1975 band #adam hann #fluff #humour #smut #matty healy fic #matty 1975 #matty healy x reader #matty x reader #matty healy x you #ao3 #fame #strangers to lovers #mum reader #kid fic #getting together #SLOWBURN #mutual pining #Warnings #aipoban

[shashashina]

The person you are

Ok, I'm obsessed with Jordan Li from the Gen V spin-off series of The Boys, so I decided to write for them, give me some constructive criticism if you have any, I want to understand if I wrote things wrong, I keep repeating that the English is not my language and I am Italian, I struggle with English so I limit myself to using the translator to make what I write reach far away. I created this story in less than half a day, and I can say I'm proud of myself, I've had this idea in my head for a few days and I finally put it in writing.

The story more or less follows the events of the series, but in many events the protagonist is also involved, some scenes are not present or are modified and the story does not fully follow the chronological order of the events of the series.

I also apologize if the pronouns are not recognized correctly in the story, I worked very hard to ensure that the pronouns are adequate, but the transcription from my language to English distorts them.

Warning: Mentions of death and suicide, mentions of violence, otherwise just the protagonists being sweet to each other.

Summary: You and Jordan start dating after a clumsy hookup and end up liking each other, but you notice some unusual behavior on her part and ask why he's doing it.

Word count: 3,085

I've known Jordan Li since my first day at Godolkin, we met or rather bumped into each other at the entrance. I was completely busy reading my emails to check my dorm room number, I had my head down and I wasn't looking where I was going, they were talking to a guy who I later discovered was called Andre Anderson, Polarity's son. I lose my balance and fall to the ground, the cell phone falls from my hands and slides not far from me, Jordan immediately offers his hand to help me get back on my feet and apologizes in the meantime, then picks up my cell phone from the ground, in the process he notices that it is completely destroyed due to the impact with the ground "Oh damn, your cell phone is destroyed" "Nooo, no, no, what do I do now? I bought it just yesterday..." I take the cell phone from his hands and I give him a look with sadness on my face "Don't worry, if you bought it recently there is a guarantee and if there are any additional costs I will pay them" "Will you pay them? Why? You didn't break it...?" I ask confused, yes it's true, my phone fell because of the collision, but it wasn't his fault "Because I wasn't looking where I was going and I hit you" He says "Yes, you're right, but I wasn't looking where I was either going, and this is my punishment for walking distractedly while looking at my phone" "Anyway I feel guilty, so I would like to do something to make up for it" "Ok, well, if you really insist, I don't have a car to get to the store , it would take too long, so could you give me a lift in your car if you have one" "Yes, I have it, go for the lift, shall we say today at 05:00? Shall we meet here?" He asks "Yes it's perfect" "I'm Jordan Li by the way and this is my friend Andre" He says pointing to the other guy with him "I'm YN YS, nice to meet you, I have to go now, I have to take my bags to the room" "Ok, see you later" "Yes, see you later" I smile and wave, quickly heading to my room.

When I enter the room I am greeted by a girl with the wardrobe doors open, she is probably deciding what to wear "Hey" I call her attention and she turns to look at me, I hold out my hand, I smile and introduce myself "my name is YN YS " "Hi, I'm Anna Gordon I assume you're my roommate, it's nice to meet you" She hugs me tightly and then lets me go, goes back to her closet "What do you think I should wear tomorrow? I really want to make a good impression . It's a constant struggle to get to the top here and wearing something appropriate for the first day will give me a little advantage. Do you have instagram, tiktok? What super power do you have?" "Mmmm, I don't know what you could wear for the first day, I'm also undecided on what to wear, but I know I want to wear something nice to make a good impression just like you, I have Instagram and TikTok and my power is telekinesis, yours instead?" "Ohh telekinesis, cool, I have the power of teleportation, I'm not very good at using it yet, but I'm learning" I have the impression that my roommate is a big talker and that she is very sociable, in fact we continued to talk for at least another two hours before he decided it was time to go for a walk, I instead decided to tidy up my part of the room and then take a shower, when I finish it's almost 05:00 so I get ready for go out. I get dressed and leave the house wandering around the college before seeing Jordan and going to their place. "Hey, ready to go?" She asks “Yes, have you been waiting long?” "No, we just arrived" We go towards his car and he changes shape, from a boy he becomes a girl "Anyway this is my power, I change gender, the seats in my car are adjusted according to this shape and it bothers me to arrange them according to the my male form" I'm impressed, but not that much, I can only think that both forms are beautiful "Okay, don't worry, it's a really interesting power, I have telekinesis" they smile at me and get into the car and start the car and let's go to the store.

After I dropped it off, I was told it would be fixed in three days. I return to the car and Jordan takes a different route than the one we used before "Where are we going?" I ask curious about the change in direction "I'll take you for ice cream, I have to apologize for making you fall" "But you didn't make me fall you were the one totally distracted and having accompanied me to the shop is more than enough" "Ok, so let's put it this way, I want an ice cream and you will keep me company by eating an ice cream bought by me" I sigh in defeat, I think we could continue talking about it at infinite if I didn't give up "Okay, you're stubborn from what I see" I say laughing "Ohh you don't know how much" After talking about various topics during the journey for a while, we arrive in front of the ice cream shop, park and go in, I get a strawberry ice cream and they got vanilla ice cream. After eating our ice creams we go back to college and say goodbye "Bye, see you around" I say with a bit of disappointment in my voice, I enjoyed spending time with Jordan and saying goodbye is a little sad "Yes, see you, it's it was nice being with you" He says "Yes, it was nice for me too spending time with" I go back to my room and lie down on the bed to use the computer, after a few minutes I get notifications on Instagram, Jordan has started following me and he liked some photos, I follow back and in turn I like some of his photos, I really like his photos. It's getting late and I'm going to sleep for tomorrow, impatiently awaiting the start of lessons.

It's morning and together with Anna we get ready to go to class, in the end we will both put on a cute dress for the first day, we also have the same lessons, so we will go together, it's nice to have someone I know in the same classes as me, at least I won't feel alone. We walk through the corridors and chat, I bump into someone who, to keep me from losing my balance, grabs me by the shoulders "We should stop meeting like this" "Jordan, hi, yes, we really should" I laugh feeling shy about the physical contact suddenly, they let me go and I step back due to being too close, Jordan notices Anna and I decide to introduce myself "This is Anna, my roommate, Anna, they are Jordan" "Nice to meet you Jordan" Anna smiles toothily "We were going to class" I say "Okay, do you know where you need to go?" Jordan asks, Anna answers before she can I "Actually we're lost, could you help us?" "Ok, no problem" I have no idea why Anna lied, but we both knew exactly where to go, but it's okay, I don't mind being with Jordan, he accompanies us and then goes in the direction of her classroom. “Oh my god, oh my god, you and Jordan?” She's completely excited, but I don't know exactly why. "Me and Jordan what?" "Are you together? Are you friends?" "No, we are not together, and I cannot say that we are friends, I only met them yesterday and I think we could define ourselves as simple acquaintances" "Do you know that he is in second place in the Godolkin rankings? They are the most sought after in the school both as boys that as girls, many would kill to even be able to be next to them" "Well, then I must have made a massacre since yesterday I was in the car with them" "Really? Oh my god and how was it?" "Are you seriously asking me what it was like to be in the car with Jordan? Seriously? What do you expect me to tell you?" I ask laughing at the absurdity of the questions asked by Anna "I don't know, but I bet it was nice, and it smells really nice" "We just talked, and yes I enjoyed spending time with them, but I don't think that it will happen again"

And I couldn't help but be very wrong, in fact a few days later I met Jordan in the corridors of campus who invited me to go out with them and his friends. Now we are in a pub sitting on some sofas, I am sitting next to Jordan who takes a sip of his drink, on the other side there is Cate, Luke's girlfriend, with whom I immediately found myself in tune, she is nice , all of Jordan's friends are. Cate takes me to dance in the middle of the floor and we let loose, I feel a fixed gaze on me, at first I don't give it much weight, but then I turn to the point where I feel observed and I meet Jordan's gaze, my my heart skips a beat and I feel butterflies in my stomach, I think I like them, he comes closer to me and we start dancing together, out of the corner of my eye I see Cate go to Luke and leave me alone with Jordan, not that I mind. We start dancing provocatively and get closer and closer until we are just a few centimeters apart, we both stop dancing and stare into each other's eyes for a few seconds, until he cups my face and kisses me, it's a wonderful kiss, we break away from the kiss and smile at each other in embarrassment "Do you want to have a drink?" I ask "Yes of course" I take his hand walking towards the counter to get some drinks. At the end of the night we're all pretty drunk and we all go back to our dorms, Jordan walks me to my room and kisses me goodbye. I think I like it a lot. It's the next day and we meet during the break from class "Hey, do you want to talk?" I'm a little anxious, questions like that are the prelude to sad things and what if they regretted kissing me? What if he wants to tell me it was a mistake? I'm not ready to hear this. As my mind wanders I forgot to respond. "Hey, YN? Are you there?" He moves his hand in front of my eyes to distract me from my thoughts "Yes, yes, I'm here, of course we'll talk" He grabs my hand and leads me to a less crowded place "About last night... I wanted to apologize to you, you were drunk and I I kissed, I shouldn't have, it's just that I like you and I couldn't help myself, I didn't think enough about what I was doing..." "Wait, do you think I didn't like the kiss last night? Or that I didn't Did you want it? You don't have to apologize, I wasn't so drunk that I didn't understand what I was doing and then I like you too" I smile cheekily "So what does this mean?" He asks with a very red and shy face "It means that if you want we could start going out together, as more than just friends" "I'd like to, can I kiss you?" “And you even ask?” I grab them by the jacket and kiss them, it's a more overwhelming kiss than yesterday, but we are interrupted by Luke who whistles and calls our attention "Get a room if you want to make out like this" He says laughing and patting Jordan on the shoulder . We break away embarrassed and take each other's hands, we head towards our classes giving each other a quick kiss.

Timeskip

Jordan and I have been together for two months now, and a lot has happened in that time. Luke killed Rich Brink and committed suicide, he tried to kill me and a girl we had befriended, Marie Moreau, just because we were in the wrong place at the wrong time and witnessed the murder. Jordan had to protect me from her friend and he protected Marie even though he didn't get along very well with her. We have discovered that under the school there is a laboratory where Sam, Luke's brother, and other kids are locked up and we are hatching a plan to save them. Jordan supported me when by pure chance I rose to third place in the Godolkin rankings, overtaking them who were in second place and who found themselves in fifth place after Rich's death. I reluctantly participated in interviews and together with Marie we ended up becoming the object of attention from Indira Shetty, a woman I don't trust at all. Jordan even though I accidentally obscured the fact that they actually saved us, he didn't hold a grudge against me, he knew it wasn't something I could control, I tried to say that if I'm alive it's because of Jordan, but they didn't believe me, they believe that Marie, Andre and I collaborated to defend the school from Luke, there is no point in telling the truth, they all believe that we are being modest so as not to receive preferential treatment. I felt sorry for what happened to me Luke didn't seem like a bad person, he must have had his reasons for doing what he did, reasons that we all later discovered, I don't blame him, I just think it wasn't necessary to try to kill me and Marie.

I'm walking around campus talking to Anna, Marie and Emma about how hard the classes are, I see Jordan in the distance with Andre and other kids, I walk up to them and join Jordan's hand with mine, when he notices that it's me, it changes shape, from a girl it becomes a boy "Hey, beautiful, how are you?" He asks kissing me "Good now that I'm with you, what are you talking about?" "I'm fine, we were talking about how harmless Rufus has become since his dick exploded" "It was an accident, but if this is the result I'm happy it happened" Marie says intervening in the discussion, we all burst into loud laughter. Jordan and I get together in the afternoon to be together and while we relax sitting on the bed I can't help but think of one thing, every time I get close to Jordan and they have the feminine appearance they immediately change into the masculine one, not the I had noticed at first, but when I first noticed it I couldn't help but notice all the times he did it. I don't understand why he changes and I'm going to ask him right now. "Jordan?" "Yes?" "Can I ask you a question?" "Of course, as many as you want" "I noticed that every time you have female features and I get close to you, you immediately change them into male ones, why do you do that?" "Because you are a girl and so I thought you wanted to be with a boy, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable so I adapted to your preferences..." I remain silent for a moment absorbing and summarizing his words, then I reply "You're right I'm a girl, but I never said that I only like boys and then I don't like you because you're a boy, I like you for the person you are, you don't have to change when you're with me and above all you don't have to change for me. I don't care what you look like, I still love you in every form, you make me feel good and make me feel protected and safe, you don't have to think about making only me feel comfortable, but you too, I'm sorry if I have you given the impression that they had to change for me, I didn't want to..." I look down, feeling guilty for having somehow given the impression that they had to change for me, I reflect on what action of mine led Jordan to this conclusion.

Jordan makes me look him in the eyes one more time "It's not you who made me act like this, it's just that in middle school I had a girlfriend who always wanted me to be a boy, so I pleased her and every time I had In relationships I have always adapted based on the gender of my partner..." "You could have told me about it, you spent two months with me thinking that I didn't accept you for who you are, you took it for granted that I limited myself to preferring you as a boy, but you have never felt completely at ease with me and this makes me sad, you have to promise me that from now on whatever problem there is between us you will talk to me about it, I will do the same, I want there to be the freedom between us to be able to talk of everything and of being able to solve it together" "You're right, I should have told you about it, I just didn't think it was necessary, from now on I'll tell you everything" I go closer and kiss them, a sweet kiss, to express all the love I have for them "Did you say you love me before?" The realization of my confession came after a few moments, I had never said it before, I turn red and look away embarrassed "Because I love you too and I'm happy that my feelings for you are mutual" Jordan kisses me again and again and we spend the whole afternoon kissing and cuddling until we fall asleep hugging each other.

#x reader #jordan li x reader #jordan li #gen v #the boys #marie moreau #cate dunlap #luke riordan #andre anderson #emma meyer #sam riordan

[lovelyiida]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐬.

KATSUKI BAKUGO X SECRETARY READER

❥SYNOPSIS: as the years went by, bakugo realized that he was the last to get married. the days grew cold and the nights turned lonely. bakugo want's to marry, but he doesn't really feel like falling in love. at least he has his trustee secretary!

❥ WARNINGS: implied fem reader, aged-up!, Pro-hero MHA characters over the age of 27, vulgar language, sexual themes, suggestive wording and content, mentions of anxiety, mental breakdowns, experiences of panic attacks!, strained mother-son relationship, imbalanced family dynamic

❥ MASTERLIST

❥ JOIN TAG LIST!

WORDS: 4.02K

CHAPTER 5: THE BREAK DOWN

"we just want our son back"

"Office whore Y/n L/n takes the cake, honestly."

"Please, I can't talk about it anymore!"

Around three days after the whole shit-show of a performance your boss put on, you cowered away from the whole office scene entirely; you were on paid absence, of course. Red Riot tried to get a hold of you, but you never responded to any of his calls and emails.

Things were becoming too intimate for your liking.

The line between secretary and lover was blurring right before your eyes, and you didn't even know the man's damn birthday. So now you sit here, eye to eye with the one person you really didn't want to see—your sister.

"We have to talk about it so that we can get it out of your system, and so you can get back to work with Mr. Money," she laughs. One thing you knew about your sister is that the both of you never got along. From stolen clothes to stolen boyfriends, if someone told you they could pay to push her in front of a bus, you'd say, "How much?"

But at the end of the day, she was your sister, and you loved her. She was there when you had many breakdowns, mid-life crises, depressive episodes, etc. And you wouldn't let just anyone push her in front of a bus; you'd do it in a heartbeat for free.

So when your sister arrived at your doorstep as a "surprise," the sight of her face made you break down in tears and confess everything that has happened to you. It's like she could sense when you're in utter despair.

As your sister stands in your kitchen, you sit on the floor with a bottle of wine and take turns from the bottle, talking ever so thoroughly about the situation.

"I mean, the man asked for my hand in marriage after shunning my existence in front of the press! What am I to him?" you say, tear stains drying on your cheeks. Your sister frowns at your state, bending down to your level, she smiles.

"What you are to him is reliable, headstrong, hardworking, and hot as fuck. He knew he couldn't lose you, so he needed to keep a tight leash on you," your sister responds, swiftly snatching the bottle from your hands. She stands back up and sets it on the counter.

"Everyone's life is given to them for a reason; what you don't realize is that the universe just blessed you. And you're getting everything you've ever wanted and more," she says, her tone calculated and sharp. With a smile on her face, you could tell she was plotting something.

You sniffled to yourself, wiping away excess tears as you looked into her eyes. "What do you think I should do?" you whimpered. With a smile, she spoke, "Play his game." Furrowing your eyebrows, you became confused at her answer. "And what do you mean by that?… 'Play his game'?" You asked.

With a roll of her eyes, she stood up once more. Extending her hand out to you, you grabbed it with ease and hoisted yourself up. With swift movement, she grabbed both sides of your arms and looked deeply into your eyes.

"You make him want you even more than he wants you, and once you get what you really want… you leave and never turn back," she said with a sinister smile. It took a little bit to really grasp what she was saying.

"Don't think of it in a harsh or conniving way. Think of it as a get-back. A taste of how much he's treated you like shit, how he's disrespected you; embarrassed you; put you through hell and back every single day! If you gave him a single taste, you'd fight for you and all the other secretaries that he's done wrong."

Looking into her eyes, you saw her burning passion to protect and take up for what's right… to help you get what you deserve.

"Now you have something none of those girls had, and it's a chance… it's up to you if you'll take it," she said.

You pondered with your thoughts. Everything that she said was right. From all the moments when you were disrespected and degraded and made to feel like absolute shit, maybe it was time to finally fight back. This plan, while not what you initially had in mind, started to appeal to you. It would give you a chance to turn the tables, to regain some power and control in a situation where you had felt powerless.

With newfound determination, you looked back at your sister and nodded. "You know what? You're right. I'm not going to let him walk all over me anymore. I'll play his game, and I'll make sure he knows that he messed with the wrong secretary."

Your sister's smile widened, proud of the strength and resolve she saw in you. "That's the spirit!" She exclaims in excitement, quickly getting yourself up from the ground, you grab your sister by her sides and walk her towards the door.

"Thanks for the advice, I'll let you know if I have another life-defining breakdown," you say softly. Earning a chuckle from your sister, she silently nods at your praise "any time." Letting go of her, you watch as she lets herself out. As you watched the door close with a thud, you let out a sigh.

Feeling a mix of nerves and excitement, you prepared yourself to face "Mr. Money' once again. This time, though, you were armed with a plan and a newfound sense of self-worth. You were ready to play his game and take back the control he had taken from you for far too long. With a determined glint in your eye, you stormed to your room and picked up your phone from your nightstand.

It was time to show him that you were nobody's lapdog that just followed anyone's orders, it was time to fight back. Opening your messages you immediately press onto your boss's contact and begin tying into a frenzy.

To: Dynamight (BOSS)

coming into work tomorrow

same time as usual?

Placing your phone down, you turn away to make a run for the bathroom but the buzz from your phone puts you into a halt. Scurrying for the phone you pick it up and race for the bathroom once more.

As you sit down to "handle your business," you turn on your phone to see an immediate text back from your boss. You let out a disappointed sigh as you read the message.

from: Dynamight (BOSS)

sure

Nonchalant as per-usual.

After finishing your business, you get some dinner and prepare for bed, as you finally lie on your pillow you can't help but smile at the thought of your plan. The thought of seeing him the next day made you shiver for all the wrong reasons.

As you drifted off into a deep slumber, you never read the next message he sent to you back...

Things went smoothly for your return, at least so far...the day just started.

You woke up and got ready for the day ahead of you and comfortably sat outside your apartment doorstep to wait for your knight in shining armor. As you waited there you realized one thing about your plan.

There weren't necessarily any steps or phases to it, just great. It's not anything new that you have to do something on your own.

You started to think hard, what were you even going to say to the man when you saw him?

Hey Dynamight! Feeling better after being called the office slut the other day!

No, that’s not how it’s going to go.

You need to stay calm today, no matter what is thrown at you. Even though that may seem hard because every day is a new problem with your boss, you think you have it in you to do so.

Should you even accept his proposal? He has a right to know an answer, but you’re just not ready.

Going from Secretary-to-fiancé wasn’t that exact promotion you were thinking of when you walked through the two front doors of this office.

Keep calm. Stay cordial. Stay balanced.

Stay grey.

As you stand outside, you clutch tightly on your bag. (Late) documents held inside as the cool breeze of the early morning air tickled your neck. With a frown on your face, you shiver whilst looking at your watch.

10 minutes past schedule, that’s a new record.

As you casually checked between your watch and your phone; you began to throw yourself in a frenzy. So now he doesn’t even want to show his face? Are you that embarrassing?

Rolling your eyes, you turn your phone off and shove it into your work bag. Letting out a sigh of defeat, you tread your tired feet towards the bus stop.

Thirty minutes roll by and you stand in front of the offices’ glass doors, waiting to be walked through with just a push. But it wasn’t that easy, at least not today that is.

Your eyes were dry as the fluorescent bright lights bore into the core of your irises; slightly red and agitated from the night before (mental breakdown and lack of sleep in all). You close your eyes to try and soothe them, but the uncomfortable feeling in your chest begins to take over. Imagining the sight of everyone’s faces as you walk through those doors makes your chest sting with anxiety.

Blinking your eyes open, you began to frantically check yourself. Was your skirt too tight? Were your buttons too loose? Did you wear the dark lipstick, or the nude one?

Even the tiniest of details could throw your alibi out of the window; not that you hide any…only thing that you hide is the underlying self-embarrassment you feel.

But what’s new?

Licking your lips ever so slightly, you take in a deep breath and walk through the doors. The sound of the door breaking open causes everyone to crack their eye.

With your face held high and a new swing to your hips, you take in the situation around you. Coworkers amongst coworkers chatter quietly to themselves. The sight almost makes you want to vomit, but you promised yourself to not show any weakness.

Eyes set on a deep brown wood door of your boss’s office, step ahead and stop in your tracks. The golden plate etched with the hero’s name shined ever-so dull. Seems like it hasn’t been polished, maybe you should get someone to fix that—

Focus!

Blinking down at the matching golden knob, you reach towards it. Your fingertips lightly grazed the handle, treating it as if it were the more delicate; fragile thing on earth. Your other hand laid firmly against your skirt, hand balled in a fist; slightly shaking.

“Just do it, Y/n” you whispered to yourself. Cursing under your breath, cowering at the thought of what was (obviously) behind the door.

Taking slow deep breaths, you then grasp the door entirely. The feeling of the cold metal graced your skin. Adding a cooling comfort to your body; hot with anxiety.

“my god”

Looking up, you turn to see a random group of workers looking at you. Snickering at your efforts to open the door. Eyes sharp with judgment and lips turning upwards in a sinister smile. Their energy oozed with toxicity.

Pretentious fucks.

Swallowing your spit, your eyes begin to tear up. Head leaning low, your nails dig into the skin of your palm. Your face grew hot as you tried your hardest to stifle in the wanton sobs you yearned to let out.

‘This wasn’t supposed to happen.’

Lips quivering, you let go of the door handle and adjust your things. Turning around you quickly head for the door. You felt as if the room was closing in on you whole, your body felt heavy and your heart felt like it was going to burst.

“should’ve never came,” you mumbled.

“Y/n!”

Startled, you stop ahead for the voice before you. Looking at the ground, you could make out from the shoes who it was.

“Mr. Riot?” You slightly whimpered.

“Hey, I was looking for ya! Sorry, we couldn’t get ya today—“ the redhead cuts himself off. A silent pause fills the room, if your head wasn’t so stuck on the floor you would’ve seen a very rare sighting.

An angry Red Riot.

His red eyes shoot across the room, piercing metal bullets into each and every person in the room. Mr. Riot was an indescribable force when upset. He’s the total opposite of himself.

From a cheery, happy-go-lucky optimist, to an absolute brute. You feel him grab ahold of your shoulder, his large hand warmly covers your shoulder and gives it a squeeze.

“Come on—take this conversation to my office…” he says, his tone almost unrecognizable. Deep and monotonous, unusual from the peppy and colorful use of tone he’s had equipped.

Following him over, raising your head just a little. You notice how you walk a new path today. Just beyond a new set of frosted glass doors lies a whole new office.

The workers seemed laid back, getting their work done. The slight tune of music added to the atmosphere of the office— is that a cat?

“Muscle!” The hero beamed.

With quick steps, the hero scoops up the grey-haired feline. The cat lets out a startled noise as the pro-hero picks them up. The hero turns towards you and extends the fur ball towards you.

Blinking, you let out a soft smile. Before you could reach your arms out, the hero placed the cat under his arm. Reaching out for your bags, he takes them away from you, letting you reach your arms out for the cat.

“Ms. L/n, meet Muscle,” he hero quipped.

You look into the blue-eyed animal, silently cooing. You place the cat in a cradle position. “Why the name muscle?” You slightly chuckle.

Walking alongside him, he turns a corner. Smiling, he stops at a billboard, turning you to look; you can’t help but chuckle.

‘NEW OFFICE KITTY NAME: PLEASE VOTE!’

1. Sunshine

2. Misty

3. Muscle

4. Cat

5. Feline Riot

It was nice seeing how Riot would interact with his workers, he kept things light and casual. Unlike the other side of the building, maybe you should’ve applied here first.

“Personally, I chose muscle. Feline Riot is too corny, right?” He says. This earns a laugh out of you, holding out the cat in front of your face you smile.

“Well, I’d have to agree. But I think sunshine would be nice, but I think cat is quite silly as well.”

With a smirk, you bring back the animal into your embrace. The hero nods, taking note of your response. With a sigh he turns back around, “Well c’mon; that’s up for the people to decide.”

Walking a few more doors down, you head into Red Riots' office. Your eyes widen, letting out a small gasp; you are amazed by the interior of the office.

Surprisingly not as red as you thought.

Besides the obvious action figures and cardboard cutouts, his was modern. Sleek glass and cutting-edge metal. And maybe he was quite a botanist as well, his desk (along with other various places) sprinkled with succulents and hanging plants scattered around the area.

Walking slowly, your eyes catch a large wooden shelf. Adorned with many awards, collectibles, and photos.

One of these photos you couldn’t believe.

“Oh my god!” You whispered to yourself.

“Yep, the older days…kinda get a little teary-eyed when I think about it for too long” he replied bashful yet humble.

“Look at you guys, there’s you, and Mr. Dynamight!” You chuckled. Looking at a group photo of the notorious class 1-A of UA High. More than half the people in this photo are currently in the top 10 for pro-hero.

“Yeah, that’s us! We were so young and determined, but that’s what fucked some of us over in the end eh?” He says.

You frowned, unsure of what he possibly could’ve meant by that. But you chose not to probe. Breathing in, you walk away from the bittersweet photo and sit down by his desk.

“So…why am I here?” You asked.

The pro hero rolled his eyes at your response, “I mean—I feel like I should be asking all the questions around here—what happened back there?” He asked, his voice filled with concern.

Pressing your lips into a line you shuffle in your seat. Letting out a sigh you put “Muscle” down to frolic and place your hands in your lap.

“Just the coworkers that’s all, they can just be assholes y’know?” You chuckle, trying to blow off the situation. This earns a not-so-amused expression from the hero.

“Mhm—I hope you know that bullying of any kind is strictly prohibited within these corners we call our office. I can drop anyone from here just as easily as your boss can” he says sternly.

Eyes widening you shake your head, “I promise you that no one needs to leave this office. They need that job just as much as I do… no matter how much they deserve it.” You say softly.

The pro-hero nods at your response. “Reconciliation before retaliation is what I always say!” He says, tone somewhat defeated.

A long pause is set after his words, it was somewhat comfortable. Unlike your boss, when it’s silent it’s suffocating, almost deadly.

“He wants to apologize…we want to apologize for not taking you here today. I totally forgot to swoop in and bring you once he canceled on you. Got to take my kids to school today, I couldn’t miss up on that opportunity,” he smiled.

You nod understandably, “so then where is he?” You asked.

“Uh…he’s at a meeting,” Riot responds. Turning your head to the side, you were confused by his words. “He knows not to go to a meeting without me, damn show off…thinking he can do everything himself—“

“No, it’s not that! It’s a more personal meeting.”

You paused, irritation turning into curiosity; you sit back and bite the inside of your cheek.

“Personal you say?”

“So you bring me all the way over here to talk about—babies?”

The blonde says, trying to not show the visible anger in his every being. Sitting before him was his mother in father, visibly distraught; over what? Babies.

Currently sitting in the living room of his old home, he was called over to have an "important" talk with his parents. He assumed maybe it was time to hear one of the inevitable.

They are dying, they're selling the house, or they're disappointed in him (the third one is highly unlikely). But no, they’re bitching about babies.

“It’s just— your mother and I aren't gonna be young for too long. We’re not asking for too much, maybe at Ieast have a girlfriend?” Bakugo’s father tried to soften the blow.

“Excuse me?”

It failed.

“Oh please! By the time he settles down I’ll be a grandma when I’m goddamn 90” his mother complains. "I mean, have you ever lost your virginity Katsuki?" She quips in.

"Mitsuki!" his father complains, throwing his hands towards his face he lets out a sigh.

"What did you say, woman!" Bakugo says in anger, the blonde shoots from his seat and walks closer towards his mother. Bakugo's father stands with him and gets in between them.

"Please guys, not today" his father groans.

"No, no, no...she's the one who started it, stop trying to fight her own battles for once," Bakugo says. "I'm not just some teenager you can talk to any type of way, I'm the fuckin' #2 hero; understand me?" His tone is quiet yet poisoning as it seeps through his teeth.

The blonde peers over his father's shoulder and looks into the matching red eyes of his mother. Her frown; visible with disappointment.

If only she could look back and see how tired he was, if she would actually understand.

Ever since Bakugo stepped through the doors of UA High School, things haven't been the same between him and his parents. One of the major costs of becoming a pro-hero. He's not able to be at home like he used to, it would come to times like this where the overwhelming emotions would all spew out.

Anger being one of them.

"Do you even love us anymore?" Mitsuki whimpers, tears begin to brim her eyes as she rises from her seat. Bakugo is taken aback by the accusation.

"What the fuck are you going on about?" he says, offended that his mother could even come to such a conclusion. Bakugo looks at his father, eyes wide and searching for answers.

Looking into his father's eyes, he finds the results that he regretted to find.

"Oh, so you feel the same way?" he chuckles, hurt prevalent within his tone.

"Son...you're always busy, even when ya' aren't," he says quietly, his father lands a hand on his shoulder as he tries to console him but it doesn't work.

The blonde groans, slapping his hand away from him, and backs away. This makes his father frown, "you don't call us or text us! Every day me and your mother watch you risk your life on TV wondering whether or not another battle will be your last!" he says.

Bakugo's head starts to hang low.

Lips pressed into a thin line, Bakugo's father places his hands on his hips in defeat. "We can't always come and pick up the pieces when you break down at our doorstep in the middle of the night, you have to talk to us Katsuki—"

"Do you even know how much I sacrifice just so that the both of you are able to go to sleep at night?" Bakugo's voice grows strong, hands balled into fists; smoke growing visible from his palms.

"Do you even know how many nights I go to sleep and wake up from night terrors just so that the both of you can go out freely? Every day I'm out there busting my ass so that the both of you can live normal lives. And I'm not doing enough? Okay."

"That's not what we're saying son—"

"Then what the hell are you saying?" Bakugo exclaims.

"Because that's what it exactly sounds like to me! It sounds like you guys don't care what I go through as long as you reap the benefits—"

"You seriously think we want you out there risking your life for us? Katsuki you could quit the next day and we would care! We just want our son back" Mitsuki says. Exasperated and teary-eyed, she clings to her son.

"We don't want you to bottle things up anymore, we don't want you to suffer as you think we do. You have to talk to us in order for us to be there for you!" Mitsuki yells.

A rift of silence follows after her words.

Bakugo looks at both of his parents with a frown, biting the inside of his cheek he closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath. Hands softly simmering down, he softly pushes his mother away.

Reaching in his pocket he pulls out his phone and calls the only person on his mind.

"Hey bro, when ya comin' in?" Kirishima says on the other end.

"Ejiro," the blonde says.

"What's wrong?" The redhead's tone matches Bakugo's with a twinge of worry. "Not comin' in today, um...just take over for the time being alright?" he says.

"Got it," Kirishima says.

Bakugo ends the call and throws his phone on the couch. Walking back into the brown couch, he crashes down and sighs. "If we're gonna talk we're gonna do it now."

His parents then look at each other then at him, with no words said they follow suit and sit next to him on the couch. "Just say whatever is on your mind, we're here for you," Mitsuki says.

Swallowing his spit, Bakugo says something he never would've thought to come out of his mouth.

"I have a fiance."

WOOOOOO WELL SHIT, THANK YOU FOR 1K!!!

Apologies to all of my readers out there, I’ve been so busy with school that it’s consumed my life whole. I hope you all understand :(

— 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐢𝐝𝐚 ❤︎︎

❥: @r-ans, @xo-evangeline, @inlovewithteo217, @im-better-than-your-newborn, @nar00 , @king-dynamight , @gold24fish , @xasilex , @the-queen-of-sorrows , @itgetzweird08 , @yoyosocks165 , @pebblepoop , @lovra974 , @bakugospartner , @gaby-11 , @akqsa-xxi , @jolynegf , @goldenglow149 , @aliruuiz , @zukowantshishonourback ,  @ilovedenk-i , @atsushiki , @smolbeanzzz , @urdecentartist09 , @lem-hhn , @stevenknightmarc , @katsu-shi @ryumiii , @idontevenknowlolls , @lyn07 , @kennshifts , @ackerman-suck-3-r , @alicen23 , @xasilex , @elegantvoids , @lowkeyremi , @plutounderbridges , @k0z3me , @thecurlyhairedgoddess , @sunyrose , @winterv-black , @chuugarettes , @kiarathace , @thisbicc , @thekookiecorner , @hyu-hl , @katsukisxslut , @optimisticprime3 , @cosmicbreathe , @yessimo

#mha headcanons #lovelyiida #mha imagines #mha x reader #mha #bnha x reader #bnha headcanons #bnha insert #mha fanfiction #bakugo x reader #theracetoweddingbells

[twice-inamillion]

Night With Mommies

Smut (deep penetration, oral, and creampie, g x g oral)

Chapter 208

1972 Words

(Late-night sex with Mina and Dahyun. They want to give you a little something before your wedding day. )

Jihyo comes to you and asks, “Could you sleep in the other bedroom? Some of the girls are getting together for some girl talk, and I don’t know what time we will finish.” 

Mildly offended by being kicked out of your room but won’t want to argue with Jihyo with only a few days from your special day, you agree, “Sure, babe. Let me just get some of my things.” 

You grab your duffel bag and basically drag it across the room, annoyed with being kicked out of your room, but what else can you do? Placing your bag on the bed and then decide to shower before going over some emails and some work for the next album.

With the lights dimmed, you scroll through your laptop, you hear a sudden knock, “Come in, it’s unlocked.” The door opens and two silhouettes appear, which brings back a sudden memory. 

“I suggest you put that laptop away, Oppa” says Dahyun as she steps into the room. You see both Mina and Dahyun in matching see-through black lingerie. 

“What’s going on?”

“What do you mean? We want to spend some time with you. It’s been a while since us two have had time alone with you, so Jihyo came up with the idea of three-way as your bachelor gift. What do you think?”

You watch as Mina and Dahyun climb onto your bed, crawling towards you. “You do want to spend some time with us, right? asks Dahyun.

You have no words, but none are needed when they see your member rising up under the bedsheets. Mina pokes at it and says, “I guess our little friend here is excited to fuck two lovely mommies, right?” 

Dahyun and Mina look at each other with a devilish smirk; they pull the bedsheet down and go for your shorts. With your shorts being pulled, your cock springs out, at standing tall and proud. “Daddy is so big already, right Dahyun,” says Mina. “Yes, you can tell he really wants to fuck the both of us.” The two of them get close to your cock, and look at each other with a smile before planting a small kiss on the tip of your head. 

Mina takes the initiative and puckers up her lips before taking you in her mouth. She looks at you as you watch her go down on you. Taking a fourth of your cock she focuses on the head and your shaft, giving it small licks. She then turns and looks at Dahyun and tags her in. Dahyun takes your giant cock into her tiny mouth, pressing it against her cheeks which makes her cheeks puff up. Dahyun then continues to swallow half of your cock, causing you to moan as she gives you a small preview of what’s to come. 

After playing with your cock she releases you and looks at Mina, signaling to come cover. Mina and Dahyun stare at each other and begin to kiss, Dahyun sharing the precum she collected from you. 

You watch as the two mommies make out with each other and can’t help but lower your hand to your groin and stroke your meat. You get startled when they catch you in the act and give you devilish eyes. 

“Since Oppa is good and ready, I’m going to call dibs on this bad,” as she begins to stroke your cock. She mounts you, grabs your member, aligns it to her entrance, and penetrates herself. “Fuck!!” she pinches your thighs as her cunt swallows you whole. You feel her walls choke you cock as it wraps itself around you. 

Mina gets jealous that only you and Dahyun are enjoying yourselves and makes her way to your pillow, takes off her panties, and mounts your face. “Oppa, I’m going to ride your face, so make sure to eat me out good,” as she buries her cunt against your face. 

You feel her wetness on your lips and Mina wrapping herself around your face. The smell and taste are sweet, causing you to grab onto her legs and eat her out. Your tongue penetrates her insides, licking every inch of her walls. Mina grabs onto your hair as she’s overwhelmed by the ecstasy. “Ahh… just like that. Fuck, keep eating me like that, babe.” 

Dahyun, on the other hand, is having fun with your cock as she rides you slowly and increases the pace occasionally. She plays with her breast, kneading them and squeezing them when your cock hits her deepest parts. You can’t see Dahyun’s facial expressions, but you know she’s a mess since she hasn’t had your cock in a while. “Babe, you’re cock is so big, it’s stretching my small pussy out!” 

Being attacked from both sides, you’re reaching your limit. Dahyun’s tight cunt and Mina’s love nectar make you reach your peak faster than usual. Mina’s nectar is like an aphrodisiac that flows down your throat. It causes your body to get hotter and your cock harder, making it more pleasurable for Dahyun. You increase the pace at which you eat Mina out and go all out, making Mina orgasm. Her legs tighten even more around your head as she force-feeds you her special juice down your throat. You can’t do anything but take it all in as fuel for what's to come.

When Mina’s orgasm dissipates, and she loses strength in her legs, she slides onto the side of the bed. Filled with energy, your attention is on Dahyun as you suddenly flip her over into a mating press. Frighten, she looks at you with eyes wide open and yells, “Oppa, w…wait…!” 

With her legs in the air, you start to thrust deep inside of her, making her moan out loud, “Ahh, oppa, you’re fucking me too rough!” Mina makes her way next to you and watches as you pound Dahyun, “After you’re done with her, it’s my turn, okay?” 

“Not until h…he cums” moans Dahyun. You adjust yourself to a better position and grab onto her breast. Kneading her breasts with your hands, her breast releases her precious white liquid. It runs down from her chest to her belly and eventually towards her cunt. After playing with her breast, you give her nipples a slight pinch which makes her tighten up her walls around your cock. 

Your core feels extremely hot, signaling that your orgasm is approaching. You give Dahyun one last warning, “I’m going to cum.” She wraps her arms around your neck and gives it one last thrust, “Fuck!” 

Dahyun immediately feels your cum flood her womb and yells, “So hot! Yes, fill me up with your cum!” You feel a throbbing sensation as your cock fills her small womb, and Dahyun spasms as she has an orgasm. “Ahh, ahhh,” moans Dahyun as her eyes roll back from the ecstasy. 

After pouring your hot cum inside of Dahyun, you get off the bed and grab a bottle of water to refuel yourself for the next round. When you turn around, you see Mina crawling towards a passed-out Dahyun and buries her head into Dahyun’s leaking cunt. She begins to lick the oozing cum while lifting her firm ass up in the air. 

“Mina, your ass is so good,” you whisper as you walk towards the bed. Mina doesn’t seem to listen, not realizing what’s to come. You give your cock a few strokes and align yourself to her entrance. You grab onto her hips and immediately insert yourself into her leaking cunt. 

“Ahh fuck!!” yells Mina when her body realizes your cock is inside of it. With a firm grip on her hips, you give Mina no chance to adjust to your length and begin thrusting deep inside her. “Oppa, I’ve missed your cock inside of me. Please fuck me.” You do as you are told and begin to fuck her doggy style.

While she’s getting railed from the back, she turns her attention back to Dahyun and continues where she left off. “Let's do you cleaned up, don’t want to waste this tasty meal,” as she uses her small tongue to lick off the oozing cum. 

Looking at Mina’s back, you notice how perfect it is: no marks or blemishes, just pure art. You trace your finger from her back to her ass and give it a nice grab and focus on your thrusting again. 

Dahyun wakes up and sees Mina’s head buried in her cunt and feels her small tongue against her folds, “Mina unnie, it’s dirty down there.” Mina lifts up her head and says, “I’m just cleaning you up.” Dahyun can’t believe that her unnie is eating her out and is embarrassed but then realizes how good Mina’s tongue feels. Dahyun starts playing with her breasts as she enjoys getting serviced by her older member. 

Suddenly, Dahyun feels Mina’s face crash into her cunt when you pull out and crash back inside. “Oppa, you made me fall,” whines Mina. You can’t help but laugh, and her face covered with your cum. “While it seems like you were focused more on Dahyun than me, so I’m going to pick up the pace.”

“Wait… fuck” she feels a jab in her stomach when you stab her with your cock. You increase the pace of your thrusting and hold Mina down. Her ass jiggles every time your body crashes onto hers, and you decide to give it a nice smack. “Ahh!” Mina yelps when she feels your large hand on her cheeks. She turns around and glares at you, telling you it isn’t nice, but that makes you want to do it even more. You lift your hand again and smack her again; she yelps from the sting. You repeat this again and again until her ass is entirely red. “Who’s ass and pussy does it belong to?” Mina, who’s flushed red and entranced in pleasure (heart-shaped eyes) replies, “Yours. My ass and pussy belong to you,” and crashes onto the bed. This gets you pumped, and you place her into a better position (jockey doggy style). 

While you are on top of Mina, you hold her hair with one hand as you thrust deep inside of her. Dahyun gets turned on and watches Mina’s expression as you straddle her. It doesn’t take long until you warn Mina of your upcoming orgasm, “I’m going to cum, Mina. Where do you want it?” You already know the answer, but you want to hear it coming from her mouth.

“In…inside. Cum inside of me!” 

You bury your cock deep inside of her and unload a thick load of cum. You pull Mina’s hair, tilting her head up as she feels your hot, steaming cum invade her womb. “Fuck!! You’re going to get me pregnant!”

Your heart is pounding a thousand times a second when you notice Dahyun masturbating to you fucking her member. “Did you like that show?” Dahyun nods and watches a worn-out Mina lying on the bed. 

After your session with the two, your energy is gone. You can go for another round but are not at your best. If you could have prepared beforehand, you could have gone all night, but now you’re tired. 

You head to the bathroom to clean yourself up and see a passed-out Mina and Dahyun when you come out. You don’t want to wake them up, so slowly pull the dirty covers and throw in the one that was on the floor before going to sleep.

It’s morning, and you wake up to Mina and Dahyun sleeping in between your arms. You can’t help but thank them for a good night and think about the big day. 

#twice smut #kpop smut #twice fluff #kpop fluff #twice dahyun smut #twice mina smut #twice mina #twice dahyun #girl idol smut #kpop idol smut #idol x male reader #TM smut

[chrisevansdaughter]

Hi!!!

Could you do a Chris Evans x autistic child daughter reader where shes finished school for the holidays either Christmas or summer and she’s struggling with the routine change?

THANKS LOVE YOU MWAH

The holidays are here, the routines are out

Chris Evans x autistic daughter

Summary: finally the holidays are here, school is out and so is the routine. Chris helps reader though the struggle of routine change.

It was finally December 17th, school was out for the holidays. Three long weeks of social events and recuperation it couldn’t come sooner the relief that left your face was comforting for you dad to but he knew that with the relief came the hardship of the dreaded routine change.

Like clockwork you are up at 7am on the dot ready to go though your morning routine, by 8 it was blueberry pancakes in the kitchen for breakfast. Something was off you could sense it, you knew it was the holidays but where was your dad… you thought, that thought was soon shook off when you noticed the time. Finishing the rest of you breakfast like it was going to disappear.

You were late. You were never late. Routine it’s my routine, it’s good.

That was what tipped you over the edge. No one could ever predict how badly routine changes would affect you it was always different.

So when Chris heard a sobbed scream from the kitchen he knew the realisation had hit for you. Sprinting like his life depended on it with sleep still ever present, in his joggers that he went to bed in he got to the kitchen in 5 seconds but it felt like 5 minutes.

Gripping you softly, as to not make you hurt yourself, he murmurs “breathe for me baby, breathe.”

Hyperventilating the slow steady rise and fall of the hard object your sloped against in a exhausted pile of yourself. Slowly you come back to your senses the ringing stops, the dizziness fades. It’s your dad the lifeline you always came back to.

“Hey sweetie, you don’t have to say anything but how about we talked about a routine for the holidays, you can work on some coursework whilst I work in my office if you want to - if you think it’ll help.” Chris says noting your quiet exhausted demeanour. He knew routine was essential for you to keep some sort of grasp on reality.

“Huh, yeah that sounds good dad, thank you for always being the level head whilst I’m all wobbly and out of sorts.” A small smile formed on your face.

It made Chris’ heart flood with relief.

“My pleasure sweetheart.” He lightly kisses her forehead.

A couple of days later the plan previously mentioned was underway and it seemed to be working really well. It not only made Chris smile it made you feel content and like you had a hold of something.

Sometimes if you needed it you would go on the daily dog walk in the morning with dodger and your dad, just to get out of the same “4 walls” that sometimes drove you nuts.

But all in all the holidays were always the best regardless of if the routine was out.

Finally finally, she’s back.

I’m gonna get straight to it, I might be leaving again in a weeks time ( I don’t know i literally just get an email telling me it drives me insane) but I thought whilst I really have masses of downtime here is the first ask after a long hiatus!

Thank you so much to @remuslupinsdaughter for this ask and girl I get you! I hope you all enjoy and please don’t hesitate to send in asks and reblog!!

Tag list:

@f0rehead-0f-security @positivelyholland @angelbaby-fics @angelbabydoll28 @ace-of-gay @velvetcloxds @reginaphalange2403 @buckybarnesandmarvel @writersblog20 @youre-amazing-say-it @dumb-fawkin-bitch @imyourbratzdoll @nana1000night @f10werfae @full-timephoebefanatic @jessybarnes @bergarasunsolved @haleybr @yelenasdiary @babyhatesreality @lu-morningstar @lyrarodriguez @remuslupinsdaughter @mxssingmemories @sarahrogersevans @callsign-revenge @kaeissupergae @mxltifangxrl @sergeantbarnessdoll @maximeverstappen @eulalielatibule @megalony

#chris evans fanfic #autistic!reader #chris evans x autistic reader #autistic spectrum #daughter! reader #fluff #chrisevansdaughter online 💖 #chrisevansdaughter moots #chrisevansdaughter loves 💖❤️ #chris evans daughter #chrisevansdaughter #chrisevansdaughter speaks 🫶🏻

[cowgurrrl]

Too Close

Pairing: rockstar!joel x actress!reader

Author’s note: this isn’t exactly where I wanted it to be but I still like it (ps fic named after this song)

Summary: “Why, get you gone! Who is’t that hinders you?” “A foolish heart, that I leave here behind.” A Midsummer Night’s Dream Act III, Scene II, Lines 318-319 [2.5k]

Warnings: arguing, language, tumultuous co-parent relationships, the l word, allusions to substance abuse, vague depictions of a panic attack, brief description of disassociation, poor sleeping habits, fictional situations of survivor’s guilt/traumatic events, this one’s a doozy y’all

Joel ushers you into his bedroom and quickly closes the door behind him like you two are sneaking around and don't want to get caught. You bite your thumbnail as you think, replaying the brief moment you saw Angela over and over again. He stands there, hands on his hips, and takes a deep breath. You don't know where to start. Two hours ago? Last week? Twenty years ago? Time seems to collapse between the two of you.

"If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. Not Sarah." He says as if getting pissed at Sarah was even on your radar. 

"I'm not gonna get mad at her. She's a kid," you scoff. The fact that he even had to specify that makes your skin crawl. At what point during your relationship have you made it seem like you would ever be angry with her? "How long have you known?" You ask the million-dollar question, and he sighs, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Sarah reached out to her a couple of months ago, and she responded. I didn't think she'd actually show up."

"How long is a couple of months?" 

"She emailed her before we left for New York." He says, and you have to sit down on the ottoman at the front of his bed to catch your breath. You bury your head in your hands and fight the tears stinging behind your eyes. Your knee bounces with unspent anger and anxiety, and your heart hammers in your chest. 

"So, the entire time I was telling you everything about my past and showing you where I lived and trusting you for the first time, you were in contact with your ex-wife?" You ask, but he doesn't say anything. You look up to stare at him, and he shakes his head.

"I didn't think she'd actually come into town." 

"That doesn't matter, Joel! You should've told me!"

"I didn't know if we were even anythin' before we went to New York, so it didn't feel important." He says like it's your fault, and you raise your eyebrows at him. You walk over to him, fire in your veins and venom choking you as all your frustration spills from you.

"Oh, is that why you fucked me? Because you didn't know and wanted to try something? Wanted to see if I was worth keeping around?" You ask. "Because you seemed to have a pretty good idea of what we were when you stuck your tongue down my throat, so please tell me what revelation you had that made you think you didn't have to tell me you were talking to the woman who left you with a baby."

"I didn't want to ruin our time together."

"Well, it's pretty fucking ruined now, isn't it?" 

"You don't get it!" He raises his voice, and you throw up your hands in defeat as he turns his back to you. You groan and rub your face, looking up at the ceiling in hopes that some sentient being will smite you right then and there.

"Then, explain it to me, Joel." You say, and he shakes his head as he faces you. You think of the young Joel you saw in the picture you saw two weeks ago. The Joel who was a single dad working construction to afford formula for his daughter. The Joel who was in his early twenties and divorced and scorned. The Joel who wrote one of your favorite songs and released it alone, not knowing what his future would hold. That Joel is hard to find when you look at him now.

"She's sober. She has a steady job in Texas. She's finally gettin' back on her feet. I've been tryin' for eighteen years to get her to even pick up the fuckin' phone, and now here she is, and she's better. This could be a chance." 

"A chance for what?"

"For us to be a family or, at least, for Sarah to have a relationship with her." He says, and you nod, biting the inside of your cheek. You’re not family. You’re an outsider, someone to hang around until Mom gets to come back and take what’s hers. You’re not permanent in the grand scheme of his family.

"Do you still love her?" 

"What?"

"Do you still love her?" You repeat slowly. He gives you a look before running his thumb over an invisible ring on his left finger. It might've been a nervous habit, but you saw it. You saw the way he flinched when he felt skin instead of metal.

"I…" he starts. "I will always have love for her. I-"

"Oh, my God." You can't even stand to hear the rest of his sentence. You push your hair out of your face and start pacing.

"She's Sarah's mom!" He yells.

"And she left! She left and didn't give a shit about either of you, Joel! And now that you're famous and have money, she suddenly checks her inbox?!"

"You don't know what you're talkin' about." 

"Apparently, I don't know a lot," you say. He softens momentarily as the words hang in the air, and you shrug. You furiously wipe at your eyes as unauthorized tears roll down your cheeks. "I trusted you. I let you into my life. I told my fucking parents about you. Do you know how hard that was for me? Do you know how many years I spent protecting myself from this exact situation? But I trusted you not to do that. I," your voice catches in your throat, and Joel rushes over to put his hands on your arms. You know he's trying to rub his hands up and down your skin to soothe you, but you push him away, stumbling back from his touch. "I don't know where to go from here. I don’t know if there’s even anywhere for us to go after this.”

"We can work through this. We just needa talk bout it and figure somethings out, but we can move forward."

"No, we can't." You cry, and he gives you a confused look.

"Honey, look at me. Yes, we can."

"The contract is ending early. Apparently, your team is fucking ecstatic with how things are going and decided you don't need me anymore. That's what Melanie came to tell me before I fired her," you laugh, wiping your nose on your sleeve and letting out a sharp exhale. "I should've fired her a long time ago, but I did it today because she said I shouldn't be with you. It was my last straw, and I thought that not having any auditions or work lined up would be okay because this morning, I believed in us so hard that I was willing to endure that. I let myself make the stupid choice to be happy for once because I-" You cut yourself off. You can't even bear to think the words, let alone say them out loud. Joel stares at you with big watery eyes, but you can't find it in yourself to feel sorry enough for him to comfort him.

"I have to go. I can't be here right now."

"Please, just wait," he begs, and you shake your head, pulling your jacket closer to your body. He might've tried to say more, but you don't wait to hear it. You fly down the stairs, hiding your tears from the girls, and leave the house. You don't slam the door or throw one last comment Joel's way. You're sane enough to know not to put children in the crossfire of anything, let alone relationship problems.

Once you're at the curb outside of Joel's house, you let out a loud sob. Your hands shake as you pull your phone out of your pocket and hit the first number on speed dial. Ryan picks up on the third ring. The second he says your name, more tears fall down your face, and you feel like you can't breathe.

"What's going on?" He asks urgently, and you hiccup.

"Can you come get me, please? I don't... I can't go home. I don't want, fuck," you press your palm to your scorching forehead and try to force yourself to think. "I really need you."

"Stay where you are. I'm getting in the car now. Where are you?"

Ryan and Carolina hold your hands, rub your back, and offer you tissues as you tell them everything. The contract, the fake dates, the phone calls from Texas, New York, the girls, Melanie, Angela. Everything. They don't yell at you for lying about your relationship or blame you for what went down with Melanie. They just offer soft assurances that you're okay, and they love you. You cry through most of it, and they take turns holding you while you three sit at the dining room table.

You don't remember the last time you've cried this hard about anything. It feels like there's a gashing hole in your soul, and you're desperately trying to keep everything together so you don't lose it. And you want to blame it all on Joel because that would be easy—convenient. But you think that maybe this hole in you has always been there, and you've slowly been losing pieces of yourself without even realizing it. 

You think Melanie took a lot of it, pawning your shiniest pieces for brand new Range Rovers and Birkin’s. You think you left a bit here and there every time a director pushed you too hard, and you sat in your trailer for hours, staring at the wall and wondering how you could feel so disconnected from your own body. And you think that more was taken in every unwanted picture taken of you, in every headline talking about your appearance or lack of a partner, in every interview question that had nothing to do with your work as a trained actor. You want to go around Los Angeles with invoices, demanding that people give you back to yourself because how dare they take those pieces. You want to gather them in a box and try to fit them together again like a puzzle with bent and missing connections. You want your fucking life back, but it’s not yours anymore. It’s theirs. Maybe it always was.

"I'm so stupid," you whisper as you stare at your hands. Carolina wraps her arms around your shoulders and presses her cheek to yours, the smell of her floral perfume and Elizabeth's baby lotion surrounding you.

"You're not stupid. Not by a long shot, okay?" 

"God, why does this hurt so much? I feel like I'm dying."

"Because you love him," she says, like she didn't just destroy your world. You clench your jaw and try to stop yourself from crying more, but her soothing presence around you is enough for you to break. "You love him, and he loves you, and it's not enough to change anything."

"That's dismal." You try to laugh as you wipe at your eyes, and she nods. Ryan reaches across the table for your hand and holds it like it's fragile china.

"It's awful, and I wish I could take this pain from you. But, I swear to you, one day, you won't hurt like this. One day, you're gonna sing and dance again. You're gonna smile and laugh and make jokes again. You're gonna make beautiful art and fall in love with the way leaves fall, and you're gonna be okay." 

"How do you know?" You ask.

"Because I know you." 

Because I know you. Those four words scare you and make you grapple with the terrifying reality that they've seen the rotted parts inside you and still chose to love you. They remind you of how much you love them. They remind you of how much you love Joel, and it doesn't even matter because it will always end this way. It will always end this way, but it matters that the love was there. You wonder if it always will be. You wonder if one day you'll hear his song on the radio and be able to sing along. You wonder if he'll be able to see your movies. You wonder if supporting each other from afar is enough and decide that it has to be. There is no other choice. It will always end this way.

Carolina and Ryan let you sleep in the guest bedroom down the hall from them. The one that's always ready for you when you need it. The one with a pile of borrowed clothes with your name on it and the one with the soft sheets and extra quilts. You lay in the dark, your head throbbing with the weight of your tears, and you should be sleeping, but you're not. You're running through every single moment with Joel like you can will things to change. He fucked up. You both did. There are a million things you would change or take back, but Jesus Christ, were you happy. 

You shake the tears out of your eyes and reach for your phone, ready to mindlessly scroll through social media until you feel the tiniest bit better. However, your email inbox flashes with an unopened message before you can get to Instagram. You furrow your brows and open the app to see an email from Melanie. You open it out of habit and almost immediately sit up in bed.

From: Melanie Lundquist

Subject Line: Opportunity

Pike's assistant reached out since I'm your last manager on record. The role's written specifically for you, so it's yours, without a doubt. Don't say I never did anything for you.

-Mel

Attachment: THE_BEGINNING_OF_THE_END_R.PIKE

Richard Pike wrote you a role. An Oscar-winning producer wrote you a role. You immediately open the document and begin reading. You really should be asleep, especially after the day you've had with reshoots, but you can't stop devouring the words. It's about a young woman dealing with the survivor's guilt of living through a terrorist attack, mental health, and substance abuse issues. She's angry, sad, and hard to love at times, but she's also so fucking funny and caring. She's dynamic and heartbreaking and raw. She's everything you've ever wanted in a role. 

You stay up reading and crying over her story, feeling her pain so deep in your heart that it hurts. When you get to the end of the script, the sun is slowly rising, and you're almost certain that you'll die of dehydration, but you don't care. You find Pike's assistant's email address and tell her you need this role. Surprisingly, she writes back not even ten minutes later despite it being almost six in the morning.

Happy to hear it. Mr. Pike will produce the movie, but Mrs. Liliah Hanover will be directing and working with you directly. I will pass the message along to her team. Shooting begins at the beginning of next month in Ireland. The expected film time is six-twelve months, and housing will be provided upon arrival. Are you still interested?

For some reason, you type back a single, enthusiastic "yes!" before locking your phone and falling asleep for fifteen hours.

#one for the money two for the show #rockstar!joel #tlou au #the last of us au #the last of us #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #the last of us x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller the last of us #the last of us hbo

[autisticlenaluthor]

Music

'When all you wanted was to be wanted, wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now'

-

Kara arrives fifteen minutes early. 

She gets dropped off in front of the school by Eliza, and promises her she’ll be okay on her own. Once she’s alone, she crosses the quad by herself.

Earbud strings dangle across Kara’s body as she walks, head down, focused on the leaves and how they crunch beneath her boots. Taylor Swift’s Fearless echos through the tiny speakers and Kara can’t help but drum her fingers against her thigh to the beat.

The air is salty and damp with the smell of fallen leaves. It feels almost like she’s stepped into a painting, with the castle-like brick building in the foreground. It’s surrounded by trimmed hedges and trees with orange branches. Alex has always said private school kids are a different breed. But god, is their world fascinating. 

She finds the meeting spot with relative ease. It’s a round concrete picnic table just off the main path, near the massive lion statue Lena described in her email. Kara sits and plops her backpack beside her, quieting the music on her iPod so she can focus as she takes out her pens and spiral notebook. 

It’s supposed to be a simple project.

Sophomores from Metropolis Tech work with sophomores from the all-girls private school, Spence to clean up parks in the city. The whole thing is worth five extra credit points on her Earth Science final. Five extra credit points Kara desperately needs- because what kind of cruel joke is it to put an alien in Earth Science when they’ve only been on the planet for a year? 

She gets her stuff organized and looks up, freezing when she sees the girl she’s been paired up with standing across the table. For someone with super hearing– spatial awareness does not seem to be a skill Kara possesses. 

“You’re– are you Lena?” She stammers. 

The girl nods. She has raven hair and pale skin like the vampires in the movies Alex forces her to watch. For a second, Kara selfishly wonders if she might be an alien too. She just looks so unlike the other people Kara knows. But Eliza says it’s rude to make assumptions, so Kara quickly tries to suppress those thoughts. Lena would likely perceive being asked about her home planet as a targeted insult. 

“I’m Kara, it’s nice to meet you,” Kara says after a moment. “I like your outfit– you look so professional!”

Lenas brow furrows as she looks down at herself. She’s wearing a grey sweater vest with a blue crest over a white button-down and blue plaid skirt. 

“It’s a uniform,” she says. “We all wear this.” 

“Oh.” 

Kara scans the campus- for the first time noticing all the girls in identical get-ups, all paired with knee-socks and Mary Jane shoes. A few of them wear dresses instead of skirts, one or two with school-branded sweatpants beneath them. Where had they all been five minutes ago, before she’d made a complete fool of herself? 

“So… I was thinking we could go to Glacier Park,” Lena says, breaking the silence. “Most girls go to Central because it’s bigger. But Central is a tourist trap– Glacier Park hardly gets the same environmental attention.” 

She’s quiet, keeping her eyes fixated on her hands as she speaks. But even so, she seems so sure of herself. 

Maybe it’s a private school thing, Kara thinks. The students here are so smart, they don’t need to follow the social rules everyone else seems to abide by. 

“Unless you were thinking something different?” 

“Uh… I guess I hadn’t really thought about it,” Kara admits with a nervous laugh. “My classes and everything have been kinda crazy.” 

Lena nods but doesn’t respond. Kara can’t tell if she’s judging her or if she just doesn’t have anything to say. 

“You know… midterms week. Can you believe they do this every year?” 

She isn’t sure why she keeps talking. In the emails they’ve sent, Lena only ever mentions the project. She doesn’t seem to be the chatty type– the type to care that Kara’s had four exams this week alone and that that’s why she can’t bring herself to be as invested in this whole thing as she should be.

It’s just that Lena is right there and maybe the reason she reminds Kara of aliens is that she may just be the prettiest girl she’s ever met– on Krypton or on Earth. And sure she isn’t talkative but that doesn’t mean Kara can help it either. 

“Yeah,” Lena says, expression blank. 

For a second, Kara freezes. She isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do with that. 

“We um, we should start on the report too,” Lena restarts, as if nothing happened at all. “I brought some articles on pollution levels in the city. I thought it might be easier to get the reading portion out of the way today, so we can focus on the actual cleanup later.”  

“Oh… okay, yeah, that sounds good.” 

\\\\\

They go with Lena’s suggestion and meet at the entrance of Glacier Park.  

Kara gives it her best attempt to look nice for her. Alex says it’s silly– they’re going to be cleaning up garbage all day, so why does she need to look good? But Kara can’t help it.

Lena is clean and elegant and weirdly perfect. And for whatever reason, she seems to know so much more than Kara does. There’s a gap between them and even though they’re strangers, even though they don’t have to be friends (Kara isn’t even sure if she wants to be friends) Kara hates it. She hates how isolating it feels. 

So she does her hair in two braids, and puts on her favorite jeans with the black long-sleeved v-neck that reminds her of Rory Gilmore. It isn’t much but it feels good– feels like she’ll surpass whatever expectation Lena has of her. 

When Kara finds the entrance, Lena is already there waiting for her. She’s standing under the big iron archway, carrying her backpack and the trash grabbers she’s borrowed from the school. 

Kara smiles and waves over at her. 

“Hey!” 

Lena gives a slight smile in return and nods in acknowledgment. 

“You look nice,” she says. She hands a trash pick to Kara who mentally pumps her fist and kicks a leg with excitement. 

“Thank you.” Kara smiles. “So do you.” 

Everything after that feels easy.

They pick up trash in relative silence. Lena stays in the grassy section while Kara cleans the pathway. It’s quiet and simple until it isn’t. 

“Lena Luthor?”

Lena lifts her head and Kara drops the trash bag she’s been holding. Standing a few feet away are two girls around their age. One wears a Spence School Phys ED t-shirt. Lena must know them, Kara figures. 

“How nice of you to help your brother with his community service,” says the one not wearing the Spence shirt. She has a high ponytail and blue Converse sneakers. She reminds Kara of the girls in Bring it On.

“But I don’t think it’s gonna make a real difference, didn’t he get like… what, twenty-five years?” she adds. Her friend– Spence shirt, laughs. 

A crinkle forms between Kara’s eyes and she waits for Lena to react. She’s seen fights like this go down at her own school– groups of bullies ganging up on lower-classmen in the girl’s bathroom or staircase. They always seem to have the upper hand until they push too far. 

But Lena doesn’t do anything. Her face doesn’t change. She just looks straight past them, the same way she does when she speaks to Kara, and says nothing. 

“Hey, be careful with her,” Spence shirt jokes. “She might snap like he did.”

Lena looks down. Her face is red. She grips her trash pick so tight her palms grow sweaty and knuckles turn white, but still, she’s silent. 

So Kara says something. 

She can’t help it– she knows she shouldn’t. But the words slip out, and before she knows it, she’s asking-

“What are you talking about?”

Converse sneakers looks at her like she’s crazy. 

“Lex Luthor,” she says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Ya know– that psycho who’s obsessed with Superman and killed all those people?” 

Kara nods.

“That’s her brother.” 

Kara swallows. 

It feels like being punched in the gut– knocks the wind right out of her. 

And suddenly, she’s back in the living room, watching the TV with the volume off at three in the morning because she couldn’t miss the live reports on her cousin’s condition. Because she needed to know if he was dead or alive. Because she couldn’t cope with losing one more person, and if he died, that meant she had to go to. 

She’s in her closet the night after the attack after hearing a crash in the backyard. It’s raining out. Pouring, thunderous flurries. Eliza said the noise was just branches hitting the window in the storm. But Kara couldn’t believe her. She couldn’t get his face out of her head, trailing the worry that now, he was after her too. 

By the time she finds herself back in reality, the girls are gone and Lena is still looking at her shoes. 

“You can go home,” she says through a forced, wavering smile. “I’ll finish cleaning and write the report. You’ll still get the extra credit.”

This time, it’s Kara’s turn to go quiet. 

This stranger, this girl who she found so pretty and alluring, who she dressed up for, who she emailed with for weeks, is the sister of the very person who wants all of her kind dead. Maybe they don’t have a friendship, but to be acquaintances is still too much. To know her at all is to feel every ounce of hurt and damage her family has inflicted. 

Kara isn’t aware of how tight her jaw has been clenched until she starts to taste blood spouting from the sides of her cheeks. 

She isn't going to put up with this. She isn't going to be around her.

So she does as Lena says-- drops her trash bag, and walks away.

#supercorptober2023 #this got sad fast #supercorp #supercorp fanfic #lena luthor #kara danvers #tw death mention

[unexpected-character]

Hearts and Choices

Pairing: Amelia Shepherd x Reader

Summary: You were offered by Yang a position that will help further your career in Cardiothoracic instead of your old specialty Plastic Surgery. However, this could mean leaving Amelia behind. 

Warning: Abandonment issues (?), (idk if there’s more, but if you think so just tell me so I can add them)

Words: 1.4k

When I was offered to be the Director of Cardiothoracic Surgery in Switzerland, as Yang would be the next Klausmann’s Director of Surgery and Head of Surgical Research, she needed my expertise and helped her manage the load. I wanted to accept it immediately, knowing this would be a big step in my career in Cardiothoracic. However, I need to talk to Amelia. I don’t want to leave her after Meredith is gone, and just last month, Maggie did too. I know how she is when the people close to her are leaving.

I met her when Addie brought me to Seattle Grace. I was with her in Seaside moonlighting. They said she did work at the seaside before, but I hadn’t caught her as she was leaving and going to Seattle to stay with her brother. We weren’t together then, just shameless flirting and almost kissing ‘til Addison interrupted us. We reconnected when Cormac and I transferred with Cristina’s arrangement for him to be Head of Peds and I Head of Cardio but become Head of Plastics instead, as apparently Maggie and Winston are in Cardio now, so I have to find a job. Thankfully, I’m triple certified in plastics before transferring my speciality to become a surgeon in Cardiothoracic. Anyway, before I bore you with my achievements from a young age. Let’s return to my big problem about telling the woman I love about my job offer.

I had just finished my surgery when I saw her about to berate Yasuda as I heard the Kid may have dropped an instrument. I know that intern has been sleeping in on-call rooms, and I wonder what her story is about, but I don’t think the kid needs a lecture. So I had to interrupt.

“Hey, Dr Yasuda and Dr Shepherd. Can I talk to you for a minute?” I said to her and pushed her to a supply room before she could reply. I gave Yasuda a look, and she nodded in appreciation. “Okay, what’s going on, babe? I saw you about to embarrass the intern in front of many nurses and probably her patients.” I asked. She was just looking at the floor and exhausted for the day. “Hey, Amy. Talk to me, babe.” I approached her and raised her head so she could look at me. “I know about the offer,” she said, trying not to look and maintain eye contact. “Oh, okay. Well, first off, why did you look at my emails? That's kinda shitty as my privacy is – “ “I didn't mean to. It was just there in front of me when I asked to use your laptop when you were in the shower,” she interrupted. “Well, you should have just showered with me, you know, and we wouldn’t have this problem,” I said, and I could see that she was hiding a smile. I held her hands and kissed them to get her to calm down. I spoke, “I was going to tell you about it later when we get home, as I don’t want to keep this a secret from you. I love you, Amelia and I want your opinion about it as it would be a huge step for my career.” “Do you want it? Are you planning to take it?” she asked. “Truthfully, it is a very tempting offer and a huge one for me, babe. I was supposed to be here for the head of Cardio, but because Maggie and Winston happened, I had to give that up and become head of Plastics.” I said. “So you are taking it,” she said as she let go of my hand and sat on the floor, trying to settle her feeling and not wanting her tears to fall. I sighed. I followed and sat near her, taking her in my arms and letting her feel me. 

“I love you, Amelia. I have never loved someone so unique and complex that each waking moment I have with you is never dull and always unpredictable. When I came back here, you were with Link and also very pregnant, and I know you were happy, so I never disturbed you even when my feelings for you grew so much in the years that I finally know you. Then did you know how much it was killing me to see you being proposed to by Link on that beach? God, I thought my heart would stop, and that’s coming from a world-class cardiothoracic surgeon who knows it is a rare feat, so I left for three months. I went to see Yang and told her my predicament. I helped her in Klausmann, and I tried and tried to forget about my feelings for you, but I can’t. I told her that I had to go home. Home, even though I’m not sure where that was until I saw you performing that flawless operation on David. You were my home even if I wasn’t yours. It was always the wrong timing for us. I didn’t realise that you met Kai and, I guess, gotten to know them, and maybe you love them, but I just let it be.” “Uhmm, excuse me, but you weren’t so available yourself. You were hooking up with the new Plastics surgeon. I thought you didn’t want to do with me. I never expected that you also have feelings for me.” she said. “I know I wasn’t a saint, Amy. I am human too, and I needed people, and I hooked up with people, but you, on the other hand, were always in a relationship, so I didn’t do anything not until after a few months when I saw you in the backyard when Kai left you. I consoled you but kept my distance because I didn’t want to be your rebound.” “You are not my rebound. How many times do I have to tell you that.” “I know, Amy. I know. I just want to tell you that these past few months of being with you are never enough, Babe. I love you so much a-” “But you’re leaving. That’s what people say before they abandon me.” she interrupted again. “God, woman, let me finish.” I held her closer as if she’d run away and said,” I love you so much, and I love my job too. However, after many relationships on your part and flings from mine, I realised that I want it just to be you, and so I told Cristina that I have to talk to you about this, and here we are.” “You’re going to leave me, aren’t you? Just tell me already. Stop my suffering.” she said and hugged me tight. 

“You don’t listen, huh? I love you, and I will always choose you, Amy. I’m accepting the Chief of Cardiothoracic Surgery but not in Zurich. I’ll be accepting it here. I will tell Yang she can offer it to Ndugu even though he shouldn’t leave the hospital. That guy is amazing with his techniques, and Maggie taught him well.” I said. “You're not leaving. You are not leaving?” she said, surprised. “I’m not leaving, baby, but I want to explore the options of having Klausmann and Grey Sloan partner, especially with Cardiothoracic research. Cristina owes me some favours. Maybe she and I can talk about it as well as Teddy. Though I have to talk to Winston and maybe persuade him not to leave and instead be my co-chief.” I said out loud. “Thank you, and I love you. I do.” She said, kissing me passionately as if we didn’t need air to breathe.

We got interrupted when someone walked in, “seriously, you two? Not again.” Addison said. Amelia and I laughed, and I said, amused, “Why is it always you, Addie?” “I don’t know, and I hate you two.” She said and left the room. I got up carrying Amelia with me. I settled her down and said, “We’ll be okay, love. I love you, and I’m staying.”

After the missed opportunities of being with the woman I love, I don’t think I’ll ever leave now that I have the taste of it. I love her and Scout and my profession, so I guess I made the right choice.

#amelia shepherd #amelia shepherd x reader #amelia shepherd imagine #greys anatomy #addison montgomery #greys anatomy imagines #caterina scorsone #meredith grey #maggie pierce #cristina fox #amelia shepherd x female reader