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swallowedbymadness · 10 months

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♡ heavy on your tongue ♡

Pairing: hongjoong x chubby!fem!reader

Genre: the fluffiest smut for all the softies out there

Summary: You unexpectedly show up at your best friend’s apartment one rainy October night with unspoken feelings on the tip of your tongue.

Word Count: 4k

A/N: hiiiiiii! This is my first fic posted so I’m a bit nervous. Thank you to the very darling @babesindestroyland for your sweet words and encouraging me to post this. For the most immaculate vibes, listen to Mind Over Matter (Reprise) by Young the Giant. 18+ content beyond the line — No minors please. Enjoy! ✨

Warnings: Oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, and tooth rotting sweet romance 🥹

Proofread: Too many times to count bc I’m a perfectionist.

The rain pattered loudly against the window of his apartment, the lights turned off so that the small flames of the candles melting slowly onto dusty wine bottles could dance against the brick walls surrounding the two of you. It had been three years since you’d seen Hongjoong. Friends that surely longed to be more, but it was never the right time.

Now...now was the time. You had decided this once you found yourself standing outside of his apartment one rainy October night. You weren’t sure why you were there, but you didn’t dare question it. He was your best friend, so why did it feel so foreign to be there?

With a sudden rush of adrenaline moving through your nervous veins, you find yourself knocking lightly on his door, rocking back and forth on your heels. When the door slowly swings open, you’re met with his dark hair hanging in his eyes, the round metal frames adorning his face that were entirely too big and hung low atop the bridge of his nose. His eyes went wide at the sight of you in front of him. A finger pushed the glasses up as he blinked at you. His mouth fell open slightly while a shaky hand ran through his chocolate hair. He cleared his throat, unsure what to say in the moment, too afraid that this was all just another fever dream.

“Hi,” you supplied, hoping to fill the awkward silence with something, anything really.

“Hey,” the greeting slipped out automatically, not entirely sure if his brain was playing tricks on him again. Had he fallen asleep into another dream of you? He hadn’t stopped seeing your face everywhere he went since you left. Ever since you left that summer afternoon all those years ago, taking his heart with you. He swears he still sees visions of you walking down the crowded streets of the city, or sitting at your favorite table inside of the cafe you used to frequent together after class. You didn’t know it, but you kept the beating organ safe in your hands while he patiently waited for you to bring it back home to him. He never actually wanted it back, rather he wanted to see that you still held onto it as tenderly as you once had.

With a lump in his throat, he tried to swallow it and pleaded with his brain to form a tangible thought for a decent reply other than the one word he’s offered to you already. To his dismay, nothing came out. Instead, the words played at the back of his throat teasingly.

“I’m sorry this is so unexpected of me, I don’t even know what I was thinking. You’re probably busy and it’s the middle of the night...I’ll just go.”

“No-no, please. Stay.” His voice was laced with something needy as his hand reached out to grip your wrist. If he was dreaming, he didn’t want to wake up just yet. He needed more time with you. It was never enough time. “I mean...come in. Please. You must be freezing, and I just ordered pizza.” A hopeful grin appeared on his face, his eyes pleaded with you to just come inside and provide him with your company for even a moment.

You nodded, matching his small smile as a blush dusted across your cheeks and a familiar warmth began to spread throughout your chest. He never once let go of your wrist, his grip lightly tightening ever so often to ensure that you were truly real.

He shut the door and led you over to the living room where he then threw two black velvet cushions from the couch onto the floor in front of the coffee table.

“Please, have a seat,” he let go reluctantly and made his way to his tiny kitchen where the box of pizza sat untouched next to an unopened bottle of red wine. He plucked two glasses from the shelf just above his eye level and eagerly made his way back to your side, heart now making its way down into his stomach as he stopped in the doorway. He allowed himself a moment to stare at the back of your head, the way your skin reflected the soft candlelight so beautifully. He made his way back into the living room after deciding staring at you would only set his insides on fire the longer he gazed. He set the box down, clumsily opening the bottle and pouring the crimson liquid into both glasses, hoping you wouldn’t see the way his hand ever so lightly trembled in your presence.

“Thank you,” you said shyly. You allowed your eyes to follow his every movement until he sat beside you. You noted how he had ordered your usual, your chest beginning to light up with fireflies with the thought that he remembered your favorite after all this time. He took a slice and bit into it, closing his eyes and humming as he chewed, his head nodding in approval. Your heart fluttered with adoration when you saw the grease begin to stick to the corners of his mouth the more he ate. The two of you sat there in comfortable silence like you hadn’t been separated for years. That was the thing about Joong. It was just so easy.

As the candles melted and the air surrounding you two was filled with laughter as you exchanged stories to bring each other up to speed on your lives, you couldn’t help but spot a familiar glint in his eyes, the sparkle never fading, even after all these years. It was comforting to know that even after being apart for so long, his feelings were a constant.

He sipped the remainder of his wine before hopping up and waltzing over to his beloved record player that he spent an obscene amount of money on for the aesthetics, as he once told you that one winter afternoon at the little thrift shop just a few blocks from your favorite coffee shop. He put a record on and slowly allowed the needle to drop, the fuzzy static at the beginning of the vinyl filling the room. Once the smooth piano came sounding out of the record player, he came back over, offering his hand out in front of you. He sported a lazy smile, a light haze surrounding your figure as his eyes focused on you. He swore you stole his breath away from him in that moment, the shadows dancing against your soft features.

You let your hand slip into his and he pulled you to your feet, pulling you close to his chest as he began to sway you both to the beat of the music. You recalled the times he would dance like this with you. On nights when you both couldn’t sleep, or when you woke from a nightmare and needed someone to hold at two in the morning but your empty apartment would soon be filled with his comforting presence in a heartbeat. That’s the thing about Hongjoong. He was always there, and if he wasn’t, he would be there. No matter what. You sighed into his collarbone as you felt the heavy thump of his heart from underneath his rib cage.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Anything,” you find yourself whispering against the mole on his neck, unaware of the shiver that is suddenly sent down his spine.

“I’ve been waiting for you to come back to me,” he purred into your ear. “For you to be in my arms like this again,” His hands caressed your sides, the delicate brush of his fingertips sending shivers all over your body as he pulled you closer to him. Your head was rested in the crook of his neck now, arms tangled together between both of your chests as he clutched your hands in his. You two swayed slowly to the vinyl playing in the background, the air between you two thick with an unspoken desire. You inhaled deeply, reminding your senses of his cologne that used to stain the fibers of your sheets years ago. “I’ve missed you,” his voice came out as a strained whisper, the emotion dripping from his tongue like honey.

“I’ve missed you too, Joong. I’m sorry it took so long.” He hummed in response, lifting your chin so your eyes could meet as he pressed your foreheads together.

“Never apologize for bettering yourself.” You looked up at him through your lashes, his features soft with the warm glow of the flames surrounding you. “I’m just glad you didn’t forget about me.”

“Oh Hongjoong,” you placed your palm on his cheek, your thumb rubbing softly at the porcelain skin. “I could never forget you.” His eyes visibly softened as your melodic confession poured from your lips. He needed to taste your words on his tongue, he needed to so he knew they were real. Daringly, he dipped down and pressed his plush lips to yours, his tongue smoothing across your bottom lip, tasting the sweet words you kept hidden there. Always on the tip of your tongue, but could never get them out.

But not tonight.

He began walking you backwards until your back softly pressed against the wall. His hands roamed your curves while his mouth explored every inch of your own. You couldn’t help the small breathy moan that escaped into his desperate mouth, making him press up against you harder until you could feel the outline of his arousal against your thigh.

“Please,” is all he let slip in between wet kisses and rushed breaths. All you could do was nod, knowing exactly what he asked for. Your hands cupped his face, your lips smashing into his in hopes that you could merge into him like your heart ached to do. You wanted to reside within him, crawl into his rib cage and form a home around his sacred bones where it felt safe. He was home, and you never wanted to leave the shelter that was him.

“Joong, please, I-” your breath hitched as his lips ghosted against yours, his hands aching to touch every inch of you as they hovered over your skin, the tension becoming too much to bear.

“I know...Me too.” His breath flooded your space, and your stomach flipped with anticipation. You closed your eyes, not sure if you could look at him any longer without losing yourself completely to his delicate touch.

Soon you felt his cool fingers unbuttoning the front of your blouse, his fingers tracing delicately over the soft skin of your chest, enjoying the way you shivered underneath his loving touch. He pushed the delicate fabric away, revealing your bare trembling figure. He relished in the way every curve hugged the shadows around you, the way he could see your nipples begin to harden underneath the lace of your bralette as the fabric of your shirt lightly grazed your breasts before falling daintily over your shoulders. His calloused hands tossed it to the floor and grazed your skin, taking his time to remember how you felt under his fingertips. Your warmth felt like the heat of a thousand suns, burning him to the touch, but gods, he couldn’t get enough of it.

You giggled and took the frames from his face and put them down on the coffee table when you noticed a slight fog begin to form on the lenses.

“You won’t be needing these,” your eyes fell back on his panting chest, watching as his trembling fingers fumbled with the small buttons. He was so eager and you felt your heart swell. You reached your calm hands out and grabbed his, feeling the buzz of anticipation through his fingertips. His wide eyes landed on yours, lost in the moment completely. Your grounding presence refocused his hazy vision, a silent affirmation sent to him from your gentle touch calmed him down immensely. “It’s okay Joong. We don’t need to rush this.”

“I-I’m sorry, I’ve just…”

“Shh,” your slender finger made its way to his lips, a small coo to silence his anxious rambling. “None of that now. Just come here,” you grab him by the belt loops of his jeans and pull him closer to you, eyes hooded and hoping they were saying more than what your words ever could. “Just love me.”

Both of his hands wrapped around the base of your face, fingers tangling themselves in your hair as he reconnected your desperate lips, this time there was no trace of nerves present between the two of you. He needed you to know he heard you loud and clear, and would not stop until you felt as loved as humanly possible. The craving to be inside you, connected to you, as close as he could physically be to you set his skin on fire, an ache he needed to soothe. You were quick to assist with removing his shirt as he had yours, and you reached back to unclasp the thin lace from your figure, letting it drop between the two of you. You brought his hands from your face down to your breasts, encouraging him to play with the sensitive buds that awaited his eager touch. There was no hesitation on his part as he took your hardening bud in between his finger and thumb, massaging it roughly. You could feel the heat begin to fill your abdomen, the waves of pleasure flowing through you instantly. You moaned into his mouth while your shaking awaiting fingers impatiently undid the button and zipper on his jeans to allow your hand access to what you needed.

Hongjoong guided you over to the couch, leaving his jeans behind and sitting down in front of you. You stepped out of the remainder of your clothes to be left in nothing but dainty lace, much to his enjoyment. His hands clutched your hips as you stood in front of him, his lips leaving sloppy wet kisses on your stomach, your hips, your thighs, any skin he would get his hands on. You tilted your head back with your eyes closed as you felt his tongue drag against your sensitive skin, his lips lazily nipping at your most ticklish spots. Your fingers found their way into his hair, scratching his scalp and gripping his silky chocolate strands.

“Joong,” you sighed his name when you felt his finger tease at the elastic of your panties, his tongue snaking across your hip bone after lightly sinking his teeth into the delicate skin and sucking possessively. A wave of arousal spiked through his veins at the sound of his name falling from your swollen lips.

Once getting the lacy garment off of your skin, Hongjoong’s fingers grazed the outline of your core, your cheeks flushing at the realization of how damp you already were for him. He got down on his knees, hooking one if your legs over his shoulder and looked up at you from beneath his thick lashes.

“I’ve waited so long to have the taste of you on my tongue, baby. Will you let me?”

“Please,” You lightly panted as the pit of your stomach tightened with anticipation, his hot breath ghosting over your clit and sending your mind into a haze. With small kitten licks, he tried pacing himself as he got his first taste of you, but once your juices met his tongue, he felt an insatiable hunger take hold of him. “Devour me,” you found yourself saying under your breath. His gut twisted in the most sensational way, his cock twitching at the breathy moan. He did not hold back any longer, his tongue gliding all over and in between your folds, eliciting a surprised moan from you. His warm tongue was suddenly inserted into your awaiting pussy, eliciting more beautiful noises from your chest. Your fingers tightened in his hair as he worked his magic, humming against you when you began subconsciously moving your hips in time with him. When he felt you begin to clench around his tongue he immediately pulled away, your sweet juices shining on his chin as he flashed a devilish smile your way.

“Not yet, pretty baby.” He cooed, standing up and bringing his hand to caress your cheek. You leaned into his touch, not realizing that you were now craving it even more than you initially thought. “I want to look into your eyes when you come undone for me.” He let his hand lazily drop down to yours and pulled you close to him, guiding your hand down to his throbbing member. “Look what you do to me,” he wrapped your hand around his shaft, squeezing your hand that had wrapped around him without any thought. A raspy groan escaped his lungs when you began to slowly pump his member, the veins prominent and pre-cum leaking from the swollen rosy tip. He backed up, the back of his legs hitting the couch and he gripped your hips as he sat down on the couch with his legs spread. He guided you to hover over him, your chest nearly pressed against his as you slowly sank down onto his eager cock.

The pressure of your tight walls engulfing him, the stretch making both of you gasp at the pleasurable fit. You sat like that for a moment, allowing yourselves to take in every sensation and emotion you felt. You felt small tears threaten your eyes as your heart melted inside of your rib cage.

You felt the overwhelming amount of love for him begin to surface. There was just so much.

So so much.

“Hey,” he whispered, his blown out eyes soft and focused on yours. He cupped your cheeks, his thumbs rubbing small circles into the sticky flesh. “I’m right here,” his attempt at bringing you back to him was small but it was successful. His grounding touch helped the haze clear your mind as you were brought back to the moment, not realizing you had gotten lost in the emotion of the sacred act that was currently taking place. You closed your eyes and took in the sound of the dull scratch of the vinyl that had finished long ago in the background. The quiet beat of his heart pounding wildly in time with yours as you opened your eyes, all you saw was him.

Your breath hitched at the slow, deep and intentional pumps he made into you, each one making his tip push deliciously against your wildly sensitive spot. You felt yourself move your hips in a circular motion on top of him, your trembling hands making their way to his shoulders to steady yourself while you moved. You relished in the way your clit rubbed against his pelvis to stimulate the swollen bud between your legs. The pace picked up out of desperation for a shared release, but you both had a longing for the moment to last, so you pushed the warm feeling that bubbled in your abdomen down as much as you could. His hands splayed across your back, gripping your love handles that he adored dearly and dragged his nails down the delicate skin gently, most definitely leaving a raised and agitated trail.

“This,” his breath was lost at the sight of you coming completely unraveled in his embrace, your eyes never leaving his as you became as close as humanly possible. “Oh my gods, it’s all for you,” he moaned and his head lolled forward, your sticky foreheads now touching as he began to thrust lovingly into you. “Only you.” He repeated, like a prayer spilling from the lips of the most devoted disciple as an offering at the altar. You were a goddess, an absolutely divine being in his eyes. Birthed from the womb of Aphrodite herself. He was most certain with the way you glistened in the candle light above him, mouth slightly agape as your hips rolled and your curves moved in the sexiest way. If this was heaven, he did not wish to return to earth. He would pray to any god to live in this moment forever. A slow and sensual pace was what he desired. He wanted to savor every minute, remember every feeling you gave him while his member was deep inside your walls.

“Oh baby, fuck. I’m-I’m gonna-” you whined, feeling the peak of your orgasm rush to your core ready to explode. He took your face in his hands and crashed your lips together sloppily as he thrusted into you harder, riding out his own high through the stars he was seeing behind his eyes. You felt his warm seed spill into you, still bouncing lazily on top of him until your bodies came back down to earth. You collapsed your sweaty body to his, his fingers grazing your back lovingly while he enjoyed the weight of you on top of him. You both were panting, a small exhausted laugh coming from him as you lay there in comfortable silence.

“What?” You tried lifting your head, but ended up with your head in the crook of his neck, your nose nuzzling into the damp skin.

“Nothing. I just…” he paused, running his fingers through your hair, his lips pressing a lingering kiss to the top of your head. “I can’t believe we just did that” Another breathy laugh rumbled under his chest.

“I know,” you admit, your lids heavy as he played with your hair. “I didn’t realize I needed that.”

“I’ve always needed that.” He let the confession drip from his lips honestly, nothing holding him back any longer. “I’ve always needed you. And I don’t think I could ever want anyone else after that.” You felt your lips tug into a proud smile, your heart melting like ice cream in the middle of June. “I love you.” His words hung in the air surrounding you two, a response not required but hoped for. You sat up in his lap, his flaccid member resting in the confines of your walls still. You weren’t quite ready for the empty feeling once he pulled himself out of you, the fullness of him making you feel whole. Your hands rested on his flushed cheeks and you leaned down to press your lips to his forehead, then each of his closed eyelids. The tip of his nose next, and finally on his lips ever so slightly. You stayed there, hovering over his mouth, the words heavy on your tongue and ready for release. After all this time, you found yourself not afraid to let go of everything you kept inside for so long.

“I love you too, Joong.” You whispered against his swollen lips, kissing each corner of his mouth and leaning back to gaze at his stunning disheveled state. With eyes blown out completely, a few tears streamed down his cheeks at the late night confession you offered him. “I’ve loved you for seven summers now. Each one I found myself loving you more and more. The longer I was away from you, the more that love grew.” Your fingers brushed the strands of hair back that were stuck to his forehead, your own eyes watering as you allowed the affection to pour out of you. “Hongjoong, I’ve loved you for seven summers, and I will love you for many more.”

You felt your walls begin to clench around nothing as he pulled out of you, leaving you empty and longing for the intimate feeling he took away from you. He spread himself out across the couch and pulled you down onto his chest as he played with your fingers. Your eyes closed, exhaustion settling in quick as his fingers continued to graze across your back lovingly. As you drifted off, you almost missed his last confession of the night before he too lost consciousness.

“I have never loved anyone the way that I love you, and I don’t think I ever could.”

#ateez fanfic #ateez smut #ateez x chubby reader #ateez x reader #plus size reader #chubby reader #hongjoong x y/n #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong x you #hongjoong smut #khj

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shaykappa · 2 years

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Favourite/Funniest Lines From Six of Crows

"I am a businessman," he 'd told her. "No more, no less." "You are a thief, Kaz." "Isn't that what I just said?"

"I like it when men beg, but this isn't the time."

"Go tell your general to keep the Black Tips out of Fifth Harbor and that we expect him to make amends for the shipment of jurda we lost, plus five percent for drawing steel on neutral ground and five percent more for being such a spectacular bunch of asses."

"Oh, it's worse than that, Van Eck. If I fail, I don't get paid."

"Really, Jesper? If I want to watch men dig holes to fall into, I 'll find myself a cemetery."

"Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

"I had a question. About your mother and whether the rumors are true."

"I won't trust you to tie my shoes without stealing the laces, Kaz."

"You wouldn't know a good time if it sidled up to you and stuck a lollipop in your mouth."

"Also the proper way to fold a napkin and dance a minute. Oh and you can play the flute. Marketable skills, merchling. Marketed skills." "No one dances the minuet anymore."

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" "Gun to the back?" "Poison in his cup?" "You are all horrible."

"Moose is probably your native tongue."

"I don't need a nursemaid." "More like a chaperone, but if you want him to wash your nappies and tuck you in at night that's your business."

"I am glad I am bleeding all over your shirt." "I'll put it in your tab."

"Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I 'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost." Brekker's lips quirked. "I 'll just hire Matthias's ghost to kick your ghost's ass." "My ghost won't associate with your ghost." Matthias said primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

"I am going to pay someone to burn my kruge for me." "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what the big players do." "You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone to..."

"Wake up you miserable lump of muscle."

"It's not natural for women to fight." "It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet, there you stand."

"Just flip it open to the back." "So?" "Hold it up so we don't have to look at your ugly face."

"And I can tell you 've never given thought to your haircut."

"Nina is everything you say. It's too much." "Mmm, maybe you are just not enough."

"Well, we've managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We 're either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breath air."

"What is he doing?" "Performing an ancient Zemeni ritual." "Really?" "No."

"Saints" he said. "That bad?" "No, you just have really ugly feet."

"If any of you survive, make sure I have an open casket. The world deserves a few more moments with this face."

"How do we cross? I don't see anything." "Because you are not worthy." "I am also not nearsighted. There's nothing there."

"Yes I know, then a tree tells you the secret handshake."

"If only you could to girls in equations." "Just girls?" "No, not just girls."

Djel says you're a fanatic, drunk on your own power. Come back next year.

They are in trouble. Or you were dead wrong about Matthias, and you are about to pay for all of those talking tree jokes.

"I. Should. Let. You. Die."

"Behave or Nina Zenik will get you?" "Well, I do like the sound of that."

"Son of a bitch." "What is it, boss?" Rollins held up his watch chain. A turnip was hanging from the fob where his diamond-studded timepiece should have been. "That little bastar-" Then a thought came to him. He reached for his wallet. It was gone. So was his tie pin, the Kaelish coin pendant he wore for luck and the gold buckles in his shoes. Rollins wondered if he should check the fillings in his teeth. "He picked your pocket?" No one got one over Pekka Rollins. No one dared. But Brekker had, and Rollins wondered if that was just the beginning.

#soc #six of crows #best lines #kaz brekker #kaz rietveld #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #nina zenik #wylan van eck #wylan van sunshine #wylan hendriks #matthias helvar #jesper x wylan #kaz x inej #nina x matthias

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mlmxreader · 9 months

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Combat Stress Reaction | platonic!Dick Winters x m!reader

@satan-incarnate-666 asked: “I’m here when you need me, you know that” winters & platonic!m!reader

summary: even if you don't feel like talking, even when you're in your worst moments, Winters is always there for you.

tws: trauma, PTSD, depictions of war crimes, sick/vomit, swearing

support your fanfic writers by reblogging what you read & enjoy

Your hands trembled as you looked at them, eyes wide and breathing heavily, stare vacant and unblinking; Winters sat beside you, sipping from his metal flask of water with concern in his blue eyes. You had not long returned from combat, and he could see that something had clearly happened; he had asked Speirs, but nobody was willing to talk about what had happened.

He tried to look into the field reports, but had found little to explain why everyone seemed so… off. He frowned, licking his lips as he ran a hand through his rust coloured hair; the night was humid, and he could feel the dampness of his hair stick to his skin as he hummed under his breath.

Winters couldn’t help it, he always worried about the men he worked alongside, but even before the war, he always worried about you; he was a fair bit older, and took it upon himself to be your protector. Your guidance when you lost your way in the world. Your shoulder to cry on.

He was your support system for just about everything. When all else seemed to leave you, when everyone else had walked away from you and left you to rot in the dirt, Winters was still there. His loyalty was unwavering, his support was unshakeable, and his love was unbreakable. He was the big brother you never had. You were the little brother he always wished for.

But he sighed, shaking his head as he dared to softly nudge you, pressing his flask into your shaking hands. “Drink. I haven’t seen you drink anything since you got back.”

You unscrewed the cap clumsily, and brought the flask to your lips, taking long and loud gulps until you handed it back to him. “Thanks…”

Winters nodded, searching his pockets for a moment before he found it; it was only a small bit of food wrapped in a bit of paper, but it was better than nothing, so he pressed it into your hands with a firm but steady hand. “Eat.”

You picked at it, but didn’t really eat anything, and it was then that he realised what you were going through; he had been briefed on it enough by the doctors and medics.

They used to call it shellshock. They used to say it came from the heavy shelling, but the name was long outdated by now; Combat Stress Reaction, they were calling it these days.

Battle Fatigue. The doctors had told Winters that it was some sort of aftermath of witnessing trauma and stress in the battlefield, something to do with the brain. He couldn’t say he understood it the same way that they did.

But he knew the signs to look out for, and when he looked at you, he knew that he could see them clearly; you ticked off every box that they had given him.

Winters swallowed thickly, shaking his head for a moment before he cleared his throat, and planted his hand on your shoulder with a curt nod.

“When you’re ready to talk about it, we will,” he told you. “I’m here when you need me, you know that. But if you’re not ready to talk about it, we won’t. We’ll only talk when you’re ready, but you don’t need to rush yourself.”

“They hung people in the fucking streets,” you whispered, voice shaky and uneven. Hoarse and raw. “They hung them in the streets… one of them was a fucking kid. A kid, Dick.”

Winters sighed, frowning as he gave your shoulder a small squeeze. “I know.”

“I understand that I’m not fighting for myself,” you murmured. “But I just…”

“I get it,” he said softly, nodding slowly as he swallowed thickly and took a swig from his flask. “Do you think you can go back on the field?”

You shook your head; how could you, after what you had seen?

The bodies hanging from lamp posts with ropes around their necks and signs on their chests. The bloodied and battered remains of children strewn in the streets. The smell of gas radiating off of vans parked in alleyways. The dirty and trodden on stars in the gutters. The shoes piled up outside houses.

Thinking about it made you feel sick as you put down the bit of wrapped food and brought your hand to your mouth, audibly retching; you had left behind a puddle of vomit in those streets, and on the roadside on the way back. Yet your stomach was already trying to force up the bile again.

You wanted to be sick, and when Winters started to gently stroke and pat your back, you just wanted it to be all over; your eyes were watering, and you kept gagging on air as you tasted the wretched bile in your mouth. You leaned into him, gagging and retching the more you thought about what you had seen.

Winters wasn’t really sure what to do, what he could do; his influence and power only went so far, and it was unlikely that he could get you sent home until you were combat ready again. He would have to shoot you in the leg if he wanted that to happen.

But he knew that he could be human - he could offer comfort, a gentle guiding hand, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen with, a voice to reassure. Above all else, Winters knew that he could at least be a friend, be a brother like he was always meant to be.

So he put his arm around you, running his hand up and down your uniform and pretending he didn’t feel the dried bits of sick clinging to the material that made him cringe slightly. He fell silent, licking his lips and trying not to take his head, feeling more than useless; feeling more than stupid and foolish for not seeing the signs earlier.

He sighed, leaning into you so that, at the very least and above all else, you knew that you were not alone. You had someone there, when you needed him to be.

#mlem writes #dick winters x reader #dick winters imagine #richard winters x reader #richard winters imagine #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers imagine #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers fanfiction #band of brothers fic #dick winters #richard winters #band of brothers

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abla-soso · 1 year

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OMG "dehumanizing". Brrr

Ever since I entered MHA fandom I dreaded that word, because only this fandom (that I know) uses "dehumanizing" which in any other fandom (that I know) means extreme violation of human rights but in MHA fandom means "how dare they called my meow meow villain out of their shit". Ochako called Toga that her action has consequences and the fact that maybe her unclear question was not worth murdering (or hurting to give a benefit of the doubt) an innocent old lady? "Ochako dehumanized Toga/ she didn't see Toga as a person reee". Endeavor saw Dabi as his responsibility, his mistake, the exact way Dabi described himself to Endeavor? "Endeavor only saw Dabi as a thing, he dehumanized Dabi". Hawks outright called Twice a good person, saying that he had a better chance for atonement than his other murderous friends? I understand why Twice can't accept that offer but Hawks is not dehumanizing villains for that? Calling villains who planned to wreck everything as "unkind" is not dehumanizing? I can understand a little when Shigaraki had a monologue about rotten society and Endeavor said "thanks for the monologue but you are already dead" may be dehumanizing but context please? Shigaraki destroyed dozen people's lives with a single touch as if they were ants. And Hori made it clear that those people are not ants or mindless NPC, they're humans! A guy has an important document that was so important for his work, for his life! A bleeding guy begged for his wife's safety! A woman tried to lift concrete to save her beloved one! A kid was crying, outright yelling that her brother's life is so much important to her than a beloved merchandise that her brother offered to her before his death, an utterly heartbreaking conversation that no children should have! Shigaraki and LOV outright dehumanized them, lumped them as one big blob of "society that deserves to rot". For me it's understandable if those victims, and heroes who fought for their safety, prefer if Shigaraki's heart was as stopped as minutes before.

Speaking about dehumanizing, one baffled moment that seared into my brain forever was when a meta said that Hawks dehumanized Dabi because he... told Tokoyami that Dabi's monologue is a way to stall time and he searched a chance for Tokoyami to make an escape. The offense? They said that Hawks didn't listen to Dabi's "valid" points and had "dehumanizing observations" of Dabi. THAT MAN IS ON A FREAKING BRINK OF DEATH WITH HIS KID INTERN IN THE MIDDLE OF DEADLY AREA WTF WTF WTF. Since when being logical in a dangerous situation is dehumanizing?? Oh right, forget it, they called Hawks who yelled at Endeavor to focus on his fight with big boss AFO and not fall for AFO's clear manipulation tactic as "abuse apologist" so they clearly are not the biggest fan of logic. And the same guy had a gall to be offended when someone condemned Dabi for calling Twice's murder video a good footage, saying that he masked his grief (I mean, maybe I am too harsh but that's a truly dehumanizing thing? Just as dehumanizing as Youtuber today who saw tragedy and capture it instead of helping or even just saw it as entertainment?). That's the point I know that villain stan in this fandom is a lost cause

Ughhh yes yes yes! It really does feel like we're taking crazy pills when we try to reason with these outrageously irrational takes, isn't it? I've ranted about them A LOT in this blog but they never fail to make me wanna tear my hair out with frustration and bewilderment.

Hori's overly sympathetic writing for the villains made me dislike them and made me struggle to feel sympathy for them, but it was the gross hypocrisy and stupidity of the villain's stans that made me this 👌 close to fully hating the villains and losing all sympathy for them.

#bnha manga spoilers #the league of villains

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the-lupine-sojourner · 2 years

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Aftermath [One-shot] [Featuring my OCs] [RotTMNT Movie]

So, I know I should wait til I’ve done all the Rise series, or at least the movie, but I just cann’t help it!

The Rise Movie is still giving me brain-rot, so here we go!

In case you are new, I made a bio for my OCs, Asami and Lupa Hamato! If you have questions, the bio should answer them, but if not, feel free to ask! :)

I would like to take a moment and tag @fluidfoxwritting123 since they have been super supportive of my girls!

I hope this isn’t too confusing! ^.^’

Again, please let me know if you guys have questions! *thumbs up*

Last thing I’m going to say is, if you like my writing, please consider buying me a ko-fi, or if you want, you can continuously support me writing stories by joining my Patreon!

(P.S: ‘Ane’ is Japanese for big or older sister. Asami likes using just a little Japanese after finding out her human DNA is Japanese. The others like making her happy so they use it like a nickname.)

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

It’s hard, staying awake after such an intense few days, but I don’t have a choice.

My brother and future self need my help. I have to monitor Big Me’s ribs and shoulder, plus Leo’s shell came this close to cracking all the way through from whatever the Kraang did to him in that prison realm.

Understandably, neither of them wanted to talk about their time in that other realm, the memories too fresh.

From what I’m seeing, though, I know whatever was done to them was meant not only to hurt, but also to kill, and kill slowly. The Kraang wanted to draw out killing them, to make them suffer until the end.

Of course, I didn’t dare say that out loud. Because that would make it too real.

So I bandage their gashes, stitch Big Me’s shoulder again, set a few ribs and patch Leo’s plastron as best I could, and then I sit and monitor them quietly. They were unconscious, unable to stay awake even the short time it took to get back to the Lair. I had looked them over for signs of concussion and hadn’t seen any, so I let them sleep. They’d need a lot of rest to recover for this...

The others come drifting in and out to get their surprisingly few and minor injuries looked at.

There was no sign of Mikey’s mystic strain except a small tremor in his hands and a feverish warmth to his skin. If either of those symptoms would go away was anyone’s guess, but for now, I wrapped his hands to stabilize them, had him drink some ice water, and gave him a big hug.

Lupa, who'd stayed with April, Casey, and Dad, had been smacked around pretty good, so she needed some pain meds and a few minor bandages, but all in all she got off easy.

Donnie, fortunately, did not have any marks or lasting effects from his time connected to the Kraang Technodrome, but he nearly refused to let me touch his shell, flinching away, eyes wide in fear, before his brain registered that it was me and he calmed down. All I needed was a few small touches to ensure there were no signs of damage before I cleared him. There weren’t any serious injuries on him, thank God.

Casey, thanks to his armor, had little to nothing physically wrong with him, but he kept asking about Leo and Big Me, which wasn’t helping anything. I told him again and again they would be ok, that they just needed to rest, but it seemed like this poor kid expected them to…you know.

I eventually convinced him by letting him listen to Leo’s strong heartbeat with a stethoscope. He sat there for what felt like a long time, just listening, before he quietly asked to do the same for Big Me. I let him, and it was another few minutes before he stood and slowly walked out, casting several glances over his shoulder.

Raph’s eye showed no damage from the strange mutation he had endured. Not physically, anyway, but I could tell by the way he hesitated to touch anything, to look his brothers in the eye or scoop them up in a hug like he normally would, that the experience had not left him unscathed.

This whole situation had been even worse than the Shredder.

When Leo and Big Me were in the prison realm…it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I’d begged Leo to portal us up, to do anything but what he was about to do, but he only asked Casey again to close the portal, begging the poor kid to finish the fight. And just like that, Casey grabbed the Key and the Technodrome was no more.

It was gone, but the victory felt worse than fighting the Kraang.

I thought for sure I’d lost them for nearly 25 agonizing minutes until Mikey pulled that miraculous mystic stunt to get them back.

My heart stopped when I saw those yellow cracks on his hands, and it started to shatter when I saw the pain in his eyes at the new sensation. Holding back tears, I’d instantly run to him, right alongside Raph and Donnie. We all shared the burden of creating such a portal, and it worked…somehow.

Somehow, we had defied all odds and rescued our siblings without re-releasing the Kraang. I still can’t believe how well this whole thing went, all things considered.

This very easily could’ve devolved into history being made worse with Raph’s capture and the Technodrome being brought in from the prison realm, but somehow we still clung to any scrap of hope we could find and kept fighting and that led to…this.

This moment, watching my future self and my little brother breathing. Maybe not breathing easy, but the point is they’re here and they’re alive. That in and of itself is a miracle.

I don’t realize my eyes are closed until the heart monitor for Big Me started beeping just a little faster and I had to open my eyes to check on her.

Her eyes are open. “H-hey.” Her voice is small and strained.

I smile at her. “Hey.” I murmur, trying not to wake Leo.

“Everyone else ok?” She asks, thankfully not trying to sit up, which is probably more a testament to her pain than her self control.

“G-guys…I don’t think…I don’t think Leo and I can walk right now…” She’d said as we stayed in our family hug for longer than we probably should have, considering their condition.

Now…it was clear she was hiding her pain. I’ll give her a bit more morphine…if we have any left.

But for now, I gently move hair from her face and nod. “Yeah, they’re alright…thanks to you. You and Leo…” I swallow. “I hate that it came to that.” I suddenly can’t speak past a lump in my throat. “I thought…” I manage to force out, but can't get further.

“I know. In our defense, Leo didn’t bet on losing his swords. We planned on portaling down as soon as we had the Kraang in position and Casey could grab the Key, but…” She grimaces and draws in a slow breath. “That’s not how things turned out.”

I hold back an angry, hurt tirade about how stupid their stunt was and how scared I had been, and end up just sighing, tears pricking my eyes.

“Leo’s just lucky Casey found them.” I try for humor, but there’s none in my voice. The poor kid thought the swords were all that was left of his mentor and Leo…

“Yeah, he’s a lifesaver.” Big Me smiles fondly, then glances over at Leo. “I hate that he did that, too, you know. S’why I went with him.”

I nod through tears soaking my mask. I move it up and let them flow. “I know.” And I did, cus I felt the same way. I felt the same sadness and small bit of shame that my poor little brother had to shoulder that burden at only 16 years old.

16…way too young to understand real sacrifice, to understand what responsibility is.

What if Raph and I had taught him that being a hero means sacrificing yourself? That responsibility means putting everything on yourself?

I'll have to talk to him…

“For what it’s worth…I’m sorry.”

I exhale to rid myself of sarcastic retorts or angry words I’d regret later.

“What happened over there?” I ask instead.

Maybe, if I knew exactly what they endured, I’d be less angry, I’d see that they’d been punished enough for their poor choice.

“Oh, the usual villain thing; Kraang wanted to take his anger out on us, get his revenge, yada yada.”

I wince. “I see.” Yeah…they’d definitely been punished enough. I knew that from the moment Big Me said she and Leo couldn’t walk.

But somehow it took til now to really start to forgive them for scaring us like that.

“It’s not your fault.” Big Me says and I can’t help a sob.

“If I’d managed to stop the Kraang from sending us off the technodrome--”

“Then what?” Big Me interrupts gently. “We all might have gone to the prison realm, or the fight would have dragged on, and we all might have gotten this badly hurt. Bringing you back up wasn’t worth that risk. I just…I just hate that Leo chose to make that sacrifice. I wanted so bad to be the one to save him this time…”

I grimace. Big Me had mentioned that Leo sent her back here, but nothing other than that…

“I’m sorry.”

“You wanna know what happens to your brothers in the future? They all die fighting the Kraang!” Casey had said that to Leo in that hole in the rubble, no idea what damage those words did to Leo. Or to me…

“It’s ok. At least…I’m here now, in this time. And I know we won’t end up like them…but I can’t help missing them.” She takes a breath. “I’m sorry. I...I don’t know how much Casey told you and Leo…but--”

“He told us they all died. I don’t want to know how.” I interject, hand on her good shoulder. “Like you said, you’re here now. You can honor them, grieve them, and eventually find peace here…or at least, I hope you can.” I sigh. “This whole…situation is kinda messed up, but…I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad Casey is here, too.”

Big Me chuckles a little, but stops with a barely contained wince. “Y-you know, you’re supposed to come to me for wisdom like that.”

“We’re the same person.” I quip in a deadpan voice Donnie would be proud of.

Big Me laughs, but stops quickly with another subtle wince. “Stop making me laugh, kid!” She tries to poke me, but can’t quite reach.

“Never.” I reply.

Silence falls over the lab and suddenly my eyes are heavy again.

“Do me a favor?” Big Me asks.

“Yeah?” I take a long blink before looking at her.

“Go take a picture of everyone for me, then come back, ok?”

I grab my phone. “You got it.”

I find them all in a pile in the living room, pillows and blankets haphazardly strewn about them.

They haven’t done this since Shredder…

I smile, grabbing a blanket and settling it over Mikey, who hums a little but doesn’t stir from Raph's chest.

As the blanket settled over him, Donnie flinches subtly at Raph's left side, but he stills just as quickly, scooting subconsciously closer to Raph, who has his arms out, complete with pillows for his siblings.

Good. At least he isn’t scared to touch them any more…

Lupa is curled into a ball against Raph’s other side, one hand clutching his belt like she’d never let go. I’m almost glad to cover that hand with a blanket.

Mikey is flopped on Raph’s chest, snoring lightly as I tuck a larger blanket around him and Raph.

It takes me a minute to find Casey, and when I did, I nearly wished I hadn’t.

He’s stationed himself like a guard by the door to the lab, curled up against the wall as tight as he could go, with only a blanket covering him. His mask is down over his face and he’s still wearing his armor.

I grab a spare pillow from the pile and stealthily lift Casey’s head, slipping the mask off and the pillow under his head in one movement.

Years of being a big sister had paid off.

That is, until I notice Casey’s eyes are half-open. I ease the hair off his face and shush him. “Sleep, Casey…” I murmur softly and his eyes drift close.

Once I was sure Casey was asleep, I take a quick picture of the pile of mutants and Casey and make my way back to the med bay.

“Give you one guess where they are right now.” I chuckle as I resume my seat next to Big Me.

“The living room, right?”

I nod and show her the picture. “Where else would they be?” I shake my head, amused.

“And Casey?” The humor fizzles a bit.

“Outside the lab. I had to get him a pillow. Poor kid…” I sigh. “You know, I almost wish they wouldn’t do the pile any more…”

“Yeah...They only do it after they’ve been through something like this.”

"I guess I'm just glad they're getting sleep. They've been through so much lately…" I muse.

“You’ve been through a lot, too, you know.” Big Me points out softly.

“Not as much as--”

“No. You went through the same hell they did and deserve a break.” Big Me pats the space beside her.

Whatever protest I might have come up with can’t make it past my throat, so I just take off my mask and lay down, my arm automatically going over Big Me’s hip when she gently puts my arm back. “Huh?” I can’t help but ask.

“Turn over.” She instructs.

I blink stupidly at her, but in the end, I do turn over, feeling distinctly childish. Even more so when her arm, pulling the covers up in a fluid move I’d done a thousand times myself, settles on my hip.

“You're not, um, sleeping on your bad arm, right?”

“Sleep.”

I smile, cheeks warm. “I feel a little childish.”

“Sleep.” Big Me insists firmly.

I sigh. Maybe, just for tonight, I can let myself relax.

Just for tonight, it’s ok to share a bed with my future self, to have her hold me like I held the kids all those years after a nightmare.

And so, my heavy eyes finally close with no cause to open them again, blessed sleep coming swiftly.

If I had stayed awake, however, I would have seen Leo briefly wake up, notice my sleeping situation, carefully get out of bed to snap a picture, then lay back down, staring at the picture for a while before he sets his phone down and falls asleep.

But I knew none of that til the next morning at breakfast.

=#=#=#=#=

I slowly start to come awake and realize I don’t hear the monitors any more.

Instantly, adrenaline rushes into my veins and I leap up, scanning the room frantically for the patients that should be in bed.

But they aren’t!

I grab my mask and tie it on as I rush out of the med bay into the lab, but they’re not there.

I make it to the living room, but no one is there!

What the--?!

“--had pancakes?! Oh, booyyy am I about to blow your mind!”

Mikey! The kitchen!

I sprint over, ignoring some overworked muscles protesting my rapid movement, to find my family in the kitchen, getting coffee and waiting for Mikey, who was pouring batter on the griddle like he was being timed, eager to show off his cooking skills.

Before anyone sees me, I march into the room.

“Hey!” I bark, pointing at my renegade patients, who were sitting at the table, thankfully. “You two! Back to bed!”

Everyone goes silent and still.

“Morning, mis hermana!” Leo chirps, pointedly not showing any pain he’s feeling as he waves.

“Donchu ‘mis hermana’ me, boy! Bed! Now!” I protest hotly.

“Little me, it’s ok, I promise. Remember, I’m the team medic, too. I’m watching him for you. You go get ready for the day. We’ll still be sitting here when you get back.”

I hate that Big Me knows me so well, but I guess she’s just speaking from experience…

“...” I turn and walk off, not trusting anything that might come out of my mouth.

I grumble to myself about how stupid it is that those two are out of bed with their injuries while I brush my teeth and grab some fresh clothes, though.

But then it hits me.

Leo and Big Me, they looked so…relaxed and happy being around the others. They probably needed the company…

I feel like such a jerk as I walk back to the kitchen.

“...I’m sorry.” I mumble, fiddling with my fingers.

Big Me smiles patiently at me. “Come sit. We’re having pancakes.”

I nod mutely and sit, accepting the mug of coffee Donnie presses into my hands.

“You guys feeling better today?” I ask automatically, sipping at the warm coffee.

“Other than stiff from sleeping on the floor…nothing has changed.” Donnie reports, smiling a bit at me as he sits across from me, knee brushing mine under the table.

“Good. Raph?”

“All good, hoss.” Raph replies, and I notice Lupa in his lap, scrolling on her phone.

I smile. “Excellent. Hey, chef, you feeling ok?” I call.

“A-ok! Oh! I left something on the table there!”

He’d drawn a picture.

Our new family group, posing for battle with the words Mad Dogz: 1 Kraang: 0 as the headline. It was clearly done hastily to test how steady his hands are, but I still snap a picture on my phone.

“Fantastic, Angelo.”

I take a breath. Things are…fairly normal for a change. It felt really nice just sitting here enjoying breakfast, so I drink coffee.

The only warning I have of the coming embarrassment is a split second of mischief in Leo’s eyes as he grabs his phone, then I hear Lupa’s phone vibrate in her hands.

Seconds later…

“Awww that’s so cute!” She squeals, eagerly showing Raph, who visibly melts, eyes shining with happiness.

“D’awww! Show Don!”

I raise a brow. “What’s going- -”

“Ohmigosh that's adorable!” Donnie chuckles. “Didn’t know you two were cuddlers!”

My heart skips a beat. “What're you- -Leo!” Lupa thrusts her phone in my face, revealing a picture of Big Me and…me, asleep, Big Me’s arm still around me, but I’d turned to face her, one hand against her stomach as if I needed her touch.

Maybe I did…

Despite the embarrassed warmth in my cheeks and ears, I smile.

“I won’t apologize. It was a good night’s sleep.” I sniff haughtily, as if daring anyone to try to tease me, but no one does.

Evidently, they all knew I’d needed the sleep and the comfort.

“Nor should you apologize.” Big Me nods like the matter is settled. “Now, how’re those pancakes coming, Mikey?” She asks and for the first time I notice her eyes…they’re shiny with tears. I can’t tell if they’re sad tears or glad tears, so I don’t call attention to it, just smile at her and shake my head to say ‘what’re we gonna do with them?’.

She smiles back, shrugging, and I realize they’re happy tears. She most certainly needed the company…she’s been suffering so long…

“Coming along great! Oooh Raph! Can you get some bacon going? Maybe some of those sausage patties, too! After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!” Mikey is back to his bubbly, hyperactive self, which brings me no small sense of relief.

“Really?” I hadn’t even noticed Casey in a corner of the room closest to us, as if he wasn’t sure where he should be.

I notice beside me is a free seat, so I gesture. “Yup! C’mon, don’t be a stranger!” I call, patting the seat beside me.

“But you know me.” Casey replies, confused.

“Sit’own, kid.” Big Me chimes in. “Breakfast is supposed to be a social affair.”

“I guess…” The kid reluctantly sits down and I notice he doesn’t have the armor on, or the mask, and I find I like seeing more of him.

I then get an idea and grab my phone and text Leo the picture I took of the pile.

“You guys did a pile without me?!” Leo snaps, looking at his siblings in betrayal as he slams his phone down on the table.

“You can be part of the next one, soon as your plastron is healed.” I sip more coffee as Leo crosses his arms (careful not to hurt his plastron) in outrage.

“No way! I should’ve been there! I never miss a pile!” He whines.

“Sorry, Leo, but our injuries made a pile not possible. We’ll have one the night we’re cleared, right little me?” Big Me glances at me, knowing I’d back her up.

I nod. “Sounds like a plan!”

“...What’s a ‘pile’?” Casey asks timidly. I show him the picture, noticing everyone’s phone chiming. Leo must’ve texted them all the picture.

“The kids like to sleep all together after…something like this.”

“I wondered why no one was going to their rooms…” Casey murmurs.

“We all have coping strategies.” I shrug, putting my phone down as Mikey brings over the first big plate of pancakes.

Of course, he splurged and put chocolate chips in them, but I let it slide. This was definitely worth the chocolate chips (which were a bit hard to come by lately).

“I’m just glad I didn’t roll over on you guys.” Raph quips as he puts the bacon on a frying pan, another one heating up for the sausage patties.

After all, some of us had dietary needs to meet. Namely, Lupa and I, but Donnie and Raph as well.

I grab a few pancakes and snicker. “Remember that time Mikey had a cold and climbed into your bed? He elbowed you to the edge before you could say ‘cowabunga’!”

“That little tike almost had me on the floor!” Raph huffs, but his smirk betrays his amusement.

“You know I need room to move, Raphie-boy!” Mikey retorts, winking at Raph, who just rolls his eyes.

“Yeah yeah.” He grabs a pancake and eats half in one bite. “Great job on the pancakes, little- -I mean big man!” Raph rubs Mikey's head as if he were ruffling hair.

Mikey beams at Raph, happy Raph's recovered enough to touch him. “Thanks!” Mikey pats Raph on the arm and I don’t see Raph flinch, so hopefully all this means he’s starting to trust himself again.

That mutation…we still don’t know what part of Raph was conscious of what he was doing, or if it was all a blank.

I kinda hope it’s a blank…

I then shake myself. “Anyone got the syrup handy?” I ask the table, grabbing a few pancakes and stacking them on my plate.

"Here, Ane!” Leo calls sliding it over without moving his chest too much.

“Thanks, mis hermano.” I pour it on and sigh contentedly as I look around me.

Everyone was here, everyone was safe and recovering.

That’s what matters here.

#RotTMNT #rottmnt movie #rottmnt movie spoilers #Fanfiction #OC #Original Character #Original Female Character #Asami Hamato #Lupa Hamato #Hamato OC

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looooooooomis · 3 years

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FINAL GIRL | FIVE

You were his final girl. And there was no chance in hell that anyone or anything was going to mess that up.

p a r t five | t h e c a b i n (part I)

masterlist here

pairing: Billy Loomis x f!reader word count: 5.6k (I’M SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY) warnings: s m u t (18 +!!!!!)

A/N: after 8 months of MIA, SHE’S BACK BABY!!! this is part 1 of 2 of our fav couple being at the cabin x next chapter will have soft moments I promise lmao

You should have been paying more attention.

If you’d been paying more attention, you wouldn’t have had five sets of eyes currently watching your every move, waiting for an answer you didn’t have. Why had you thought it was a good idea to stay up as late as you had packing your overnight bag for the cabin? If you had gone to bed at a reasonable hour, you wouldn’t have been as braindead as you currently were and, if you hadn’t been braindead, you wouldn’t have wound up in whatever ring of hell you were currently stuck in as your friends stared at you as though you’d grown a second head.

You pleaded with your tongue to say anything, pleaded for your brain to register a decent enough lie to make this uncomfortable silence end but nothing came out of your mouth. Only a pathetic hum and a gusto of forced laughter.

You wanted to die.

It should have been an easy enough answer to what was an even easier question. One that you’d practiced answering for the last two days and yet, as the moment for the lie came and went, you were left scrambling like a fucking moron.

You didn’t dare look at Billy as Sid curled into his side knowing if you managed to catch his coffee-coloured stare, you’d only be met with something between terror and amusement as you royally shit the bed. So, instead, you did the next best thing. You replayed the question over and over again in your head until you were driven mad.

‘Are you up for a movie this weekend?’

It was a simple enough question, one you’d managed to decline easily enough but, as Tatum frowned and asked the one question you were expecting to hear, your mind went blank.

‘Why? What are you doing?’

The answer you were supposed to say: I have to babysit my cousin in Santa Rosa all weekend. The answer they got? Silence. Pure, awkward as fuck, silence.

“Earth to Y/N,” Tatum laughed, brows furrowing. “Are you alive?”

“Sorry,” you huffed out a quiet laugh and shook your head, “I barely slept last night, I’m braindead.”

While it wasn’t a lie, you were still on edge. You’d think after months of sneaking around with the asshole sitting in front of you that you would have chilled out a little more but not today. Maybe it was the nerves of a full weekend away with Billy Loomis as his girlfriend hosted a fucking movie night sans her boyfriend and best friend – but something was making you stumble over what should have been second nature to you.

“You feeling okay?” Sid, the angel she was, asked with a small frown. Your stomach twisted in the familiar way it always did when your sweet friend showed concern. Concern which you most definitely didn’t deserve. “You seem…off.”

It would have been so easy to confess your dark little twisted affair with Billy right then and there. To just open your mouth and let the truth of everything you’d been doing behind her back play out. But you knew it would break her heart and, more than that, you were a fucking coward.

“I’m fine, Sid,” you smacked on a small smile and leaned into your locker. You had one more class until you were home free. Free of your friends’ inquiring eyes, free of Biology, free of Woodsboro. If you managed to get through this incredibly uncomfortable moment. “And I would if I could, trust me. I have to babysit my little cousin in Santa Rosa.” You feigned disappointment with a small frown. You could see Stu’s lips tug up in mild amusement out of the corner of your eye. “She’s nine, so if I don’t come back on Monday, know that she annoyed me to death.”

Randy scoffed and casually threw his arm around your neck. “Every day I’m thankful I don’t have any snot-nosed kids in my family. Losing my weekend to babysit? I’d rather rot.”

Despite your guilt, you managed a small smile as you looked across at him. “I think the kid would rather you rot, too. You’d be a terrible babysitter.”

“She’s right,” Tatum smirked, “you’d show the kid one of your weirdo movies where a girl with big tits is running helplessly away from her killer. It’d scar the kid for life.”

“Or,” Randy mused, “prepare them for the real world. Put some hair on their chest and all that shit.”

“Furthering my point, Meeks, you’d be a shit babysitter.” You laughed. “But, yeah, I’ll be suffering at the hands of a nine-year-old, so you guys have fun without me.”

“How about you, lover boy?” Tatum asked, looking across at Billy. “Will you be joining us this weekend?”

You should have averted your eyes. Should have done anything besides wait, with bated breath, to see what Billy would say. Slowly, those brown eyes tapered over towards you just briefly before looking at Tatum. With a casual shrug of his shoulders, Billy shook his head and leaned into Sid. “Can’t,” he merely said, “I’m going up north with my dad. He wants to get some of his affairs in order or something, I don’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair. “All I know is I was promised free beer if I helped him. So, I’m helping him.”

If Sid caught onto his lie, her face didn’t betray her once. And, as she looked up at her boyfriend with doting eyes, you couldn’t help but feel that pang of shame slice into your gut once again. She believed him. She always believed him. Believed you. Regardless of how good it felt to have Billy, that shame of knowing just who it was unwittingly hurting in the process never dissipated.

“You sure you guys won’t need help?” Sid asked, further digging that knife of shame into your chest. “Besides this movie, I’ve got nothing else going on this weekend.”

“Real nice,” Randy teased. “She’d rather watch Billy’s dad punch away at a fucking calculator then sit down with her nearest and dearest.”

Billy ignored Randy entirely as he glanced down at the brunette. “I’m sure,” he affirmed, giving her a quick squeeze. “Enjoy the movie night. I’ll be there for the next one.”

He lied so effortlessly, so casually, that it should have unnerved you. But it didn’t. Because for as good of a liar Billy Loomis was, you were right here with him. This dangerous little game the two of you were playing was becoming second nature to you and for as much as it pained you to see Sidney get lied to, you couldn’t help yourself.

You loved Billy. Billy loved you. Right person, wrong time. Only rather than wait like you knew you should have, Billy’s glow was much too enthralling to miss. You were both moths to each other’s’ flames and no amount of guilt or shame was strong enough to outweigh the otherworldly affliction the two of you had for one another.

The bell signifying your final class rung out, snapping you out of your brief reverie as you blinked and focused on pushing Randy off of you. “Want to drive me to the bus station?” You asked him. “I don’t want to drive all the way to Santa Rosa, so I bought a bus ticket.”

“Tonight?” Randy considered it briefly before shrugging. “Sure, I guess. I’ve got a shift tonight at seven, though. When’s your bus leave?”

“Six thirty,” you lied, mainly doing this so that should anyone drive by your house this weekend and see your car still neatly parked in your driveway, they wouldn’t bat an eye. “I owe you.”

“Yeah, you do,” Randy agreed. “And, lucky for you, I accept a lot of different payment options.” He wriggled his brows, earning a playful smack from you and an annoyed glare from Billy. Thankfully, Randy didn’t catch onto the latter. “Pick you up at six?”

You nodded. “Perfect.”

With your eyes flickering to Billy’s once more, you managed to shoot everyone a quick smile before disappearing down the hall towards Biology. Just how you’d managed to dance your way out of what could have been an incredibly awkward moment, you didn’t know. But as you felt that weighty stare of Billy’s on your back as you walked away, there was an air of excitement that swallowed you whole.

No matter how much guilt you felt, no matter how sick it made you to see Sidney get hurt, even if she didn’t quite know about just yet, there was a much larger part of you that couldn’t wait to get Billy alone.

Because for the first time in the seven months since you’d started this torrid little affair, you were finally getting Billy all to yourself. No prying eyes, no secret kisses, no having to hide every part of your relationship with the man. None of that.

This weekend, it was you and it was Billy.

And you couldn’t fucking wait.

»»-------------¤-------------««

Randy, being the superstar he was, had dropped you off at the station a little after six-fifteen and by six-thirty-two, just around the time the actual bus was leaving for Santa Rosa, you were scrambling into Billy’s car with a wild grin on your face.

Just how the pair of you had managed to pull it off, especially given your brain lapse earlier in the day, was beyond you. But, as Billy tore off down the main street leading to the freeway, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of freedom engulf you the farther and farther you got from town.

It was exhilarating.

And, as you glanced at Billy, who couldn’t have looked more like a movie star with his dark locks blowing with the wind cascading in through his open window, you couldn’t help but reach across the divide to gently squeeze his jean-clad thigh.

“Thank you,” you found yourself muttering and as those brown eyes met yours, you couldn’t help but grin. “For your stupid key proposal. In hindsight, it was very sweet.”

The dimple in Billy’s cheek deepened as his own grin grew. “Glad you let me steal you away?”

You loosened your seatbelt momentarily and leaned across to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Very glad.” You made a move to pull away but stopped when he gently grabbed your chin with the hand not holding the wheel. “What—”

The kiss, while dangerously stupid, was short and sweet but the emotion behind it, the genuine happiness that exuded out of Billy in those few seconds was palpable. “I really do fucking love you, you know that?”

“You’ve mentioned it,” you hummed and slinked back into your seat. When his large hand found your thigh, he gave it a firm squeeze that sent shockwaves throughout your whole body.

“Not going to say it back?” He teased, giving you a sidelong glance as he drew nearer to the freeway.

“I’d rather show it.” Rather than put your seatbelt back on, you shimmed in your seat and leaned into him as your fingers scraped along his thighs towards the button of his jeans. “Eyes on the road, Loomis.”

Easier said than done, Billy thought, torn between watching the road and watching you unzip his jeans. Raising his ass out of the seat just long enough to allow you to tug his pants down his thighs, the second Billy saw yours eyes light up as his now somewhat erect cock sprung free of his jeans, keeping his eyes on the road seemed impossible. But, the second he saw that pretty mouth of yours perk up in anticipation, it was game over. “Are you trying to get us killed?”

A low chuckle escaped your lips as you began to pump his length with your hand. “Focus on the road, Billy.”

“You say that like it’s easy.” Not being able to keep his hands off of you, he reached for your nipple and gave it a pinch through your shirt. “Take your shirt off, baby.”

“Shut up and drive.” You chided him, shimming in your seat so that you were on your knees leaning over the console. His cock was rock hard now and, as you ran your tongue alongside his length, from the base of it all the way up to coax your tongue along the precum that had gathered along his head, you felt him shiver beneath you.

“Fuck,” he hissed, tangling his fingers through your hair. You were too fucking good with that mouth of yours.

Still pumping the base of his cock with one hand, you swirled your tongue along the tip of his dick again before taking that perfectly girthy cock in your mouth. His grip tightened on your hair and your eyes watered as he pushed your head down to fully take the length of him inside of your mouth. He heard you gag on him but even as his grip eased up, you continued your pursuit of deepthroating him.

His breathing was shallow as he felt your hot mouth all over him. Between the sounds of your wet mouth taking him in and the occasional gag as you choked on his length, Billy was in heaven.

But having you this close as you fucked him with your mouth whilst still fully clothed was killing him. He needed to feel you. He wanted to feel your juices on his fingers and running down those perfect fucking thighs as he fingerfucked you. He wanted to hear you moan, feel you moan on his cock as he made you feel as good as you were making him feel.

He wanted all of you, needed all of you.

Trying his damnedest not to shut his eyes as your mouth brought him closer to the edge, he reached beneath you to work on your own zipper but when that proved to be impossible, a frustrated growl tore out of his lips. “Undo your pants.” He hissed through bared teeth.

You hummed against his dick which nearly sent him into the other land of traffic. “No,” you purred, “I want to make you feel good.”

With one hand on the wheel and the other now gliding up and down your back as you fucked him with your mouth, Billy couldn’t help but buck into your mouth as you began to massage his balls. He was going to bust and soon if he wasn’t careful.

You were too fucking good and he was too fucking in love with you not to get lost in the way you made him feel.

“Touch yourself, at least,” he breathed out, desperate to see that pretty cunt. “Please, baby.”

Not granting him the satisfaction, you simply dug your nails into his thighs and moaned onto his cock and the sensation of it alone was almost enough to make him come down your throat. It seemed to slither around his cock, making him twitch and buck into your mouth.

But it was the second you moaned out his name as you swirled your wet mouth along the head of his dick one final time, swallowing back his precum with a contented hum, that Billy blew his loud inside of your mouth.

For a good five seconds, he didn’t care if he crashed the goddamn car as he watched you swallow his seed. He was bucking into your mouth, his breathing was ragged, as you guzzled him back and, as you finally released his cock with a pop, Billy almost lost it.

With a devilish grin, you simply wiped a finger along the edge of your lips and leaned back into your seat with a satisfied glimmer in your eyes. You knew you’d be in for it once he got his hands on you at the cabin, but for now, as you watched him lamely try and pull his jeans up his body to cover his slowly softening cock, you couldn’t help but laugh.

“What’s the matter, Billy?” You teased, fastening your seatbelt back up. “You look a little rattled.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he simpered, not bothering with the zipper or button of his jeans. Instead, he reached across the divide and grabbed for your hand as he ghosted his lips across your knuckles. “Just wait until we get to the cabin.”

With your suspicions confirmed, you couldn’t help but beam across at him as you drove further and further away from Woodsboro. That was definitely a threat and good god were you excited for its execution.

»»-------------¤-------------««

By the time you’d pulled into the Loomis family cabin, it was pitch black outside.

The moon was too high in the sky and only a sliver of its light poked through the tall pine trees that surrounded the small house but, even with the low light surrounding you, the shadows that danced along the lake was enough to bring out a small smile as you quietly made your way out of the car. You didn’t need full sun to see the beauty surrounding you and the smell of the fresh air mixed with the spice of pine made any ounce of nerves filter out of you.

You were happy.

Unreservedly so.

Glancing across the roof towards Billy, he seemed almost distracted as he looked around at the familiar surroundings. You couldn’t quite tell if he was feeling as happy as you were in those brief moments, but you couldn’t quite blame him for that. The cabin held a lot of memories within it, many of which you knew included his mother. Where you felt freed and excited, you could tell the weight of his current whereabouts was heavy on his shoulders.

“Hey,” you muttered, slicing into the quietude around you. Walking around the front of the car, those brown eyes found yours as you circled your arms around his middle. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” he assured, but his voice was low and distant. All the same, however, his strong arms enveloped you as he kissed your hairline. “Lost in a memory, I guess.”

You nodded into the crook of his neck but said nothing. He needed time to decompress, to familiarize himself with a house he hadn’t been in since his mother left. So, you’d give him that time.

For what must have been minutes, the two of you simply stood at the helm of porch holding onto one another. It wasn’t until Billy placed another quick kiss to your forehead that you felt his arms slowly fall only to grasp your hand in his own. “Come on,” he hummed. His grip on your hand was firm as he walked up the steps leading to the wrap around porch and as he stuck the key inside of the lock and opened the front door, the smell of cedar surrounded you.

The cabin was gorgeous. Wooden slats covered every square inch of the small house and a small fireplace sat at the front of the house with a worn-in couch and chair facing it. It was obvious nobody had come to visit for quite some time judging by the dust lining most of the countertops and shelving units, but you didn’t care.

To you, it was perfect.

Your own little oasis with the boy you loved without any sort of outside interruption.

You released his hand to take a brief look around the small living space but you could feel his eyes on you with every step you took. You knew he was looking to get even with you after your little stunt in the car, but you also knew that he hadn’t quite been expecting the swell of emotions to hit him upon driving up to the cabin. So, you continued to wander around the cabin to both grant him the space he may or may not have needed and, simply, to snoop around.

There were family pictures lining the tables and one in particular made you smile as you caught sight of a young Billy swinging from a tire swing. With a quiet laugh, you picked the frame up and surveyed it with a fond smile on your lips. “Cute,” you remarked, looking across to catch his stare. “A little model, eh?”

Billy watched you carefully place the frame down on the table before continuing on with your self-guided tour. No matter how hard he tried, regardless of the bittersweet memories swirling around inside of his brain, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Not that he ever really could, but there was an ease rolling off of you tonight, coming off of you in waves, that drew him in.

“I’ve been thinking about this all week, you know that?” He remarked, leaning against the back of the couch as he watched you pick up another picture frame. “Just me and you. Out here alone in the woods for an entire weekend.”

“Sounds like a scary movie when you put it that way,” you goaded with a wink. “Or a really niche porno.”

“Why not a bit of both?” His molasses coloured eyes glimmered mischievously as you walked up to him and stepped between his legs. The second you were close, he pulled you flush against his chest and kissed the tip of your nose as he pushed your hair back and away from your face. “Both could be fun.”

You grinned. “I’m down for anything,” you shrugged. “So long as you promise to take me on an actual date tomorrow. We’re not just fucking like bunnies inside of the cabin all weekend.”

“Heaven forbid,” he leaned in and gave you a slow, torturous kiss.

“I’m serious, Billy,” you moaned.

Pulling away from your mouth, Billy nudged his nose against yours and nodded. “The entire population in Bumfuck, California will know you’re my girl by the end of the weekend,” he avowed, skimming his hands down to your ass to give it a firm squeeze. “I promise.”

“Oh, yeah?” You hummed, kissing him again.

His calloused hands slipped beneath your shirt and scraped up your side. “Yeah.” Digging his hips into yours, he gave you one last kiss before nodding towards the bedroom. “Take your clothes off.”

You giggled as he slapped your ass to steer you down the narrow hallway. “And if I don’t?”

“I’ll rip them off of you,” he simply said, “so either they remain in one piece or I ruin your outfit.”

You glanced down at your jeans and tank before frowning. You looked cute tonight and you’d be damned if the bastard ripped them. So, being the good girl you were, you held his stare and slowly slinked out of your clothes. His eyes seemed so much darker as he watched you strip and the small smirk he wore slowly fell into a hungry thin line as you then perched yourself on the edge of the bed, completely nude.

“You just going to stand there looking pretty or are you going to do something about this?” You slipped your fingers between your thighs and ran your fingers along your swollen clit. A low moan slipped out of your lips at the sensation. “I’m already so wet for you, Billy.”

Slowly, Billy stepped towards you and undid his belt. Leaning down, he kissed you, hard, and steered you backwards on the bed beneath you until your head reached the soft pillows. You could feel his cock straining against his jeans but rather than grant himself any sort of reprieve, you watched him gently grasp your hands and raise them above your head only to wrap his belt around your wrists.

In the blink of an eye, you were tied to the bedposts.

“Is this payback for the car blowie?” You laughed, looking up at your restrained wrists. “If it is, I can’t say I’m mad about it.”

“You wanted something between a horror movie and a niche porno, remember?” He hummed against your skin, placing sloppy kisses along the vein that ran along your neck as he pinched your nipple. “God, you’re fucking perfect. You know that?”

He bit down on your collarbone, kissing his way down your chest until his warm mouth wrapped around your nipple. You could feel his teeth slither along your breast as his tongue lapped expertly on the sensitive bud. You hissed, arching into his mouth as your wrists, on instinct, fought for freedom. “Hardly.”

His eyes met yours as he slowly released your nipple. You were in nothing, of course, but he was still fully clothed, and you hated him for it. You hungrily eyed the bulge in his jeans as he propped himself up on his arm, letting his other hand glide up your chest and neck until it cupped your cheek. His nose brushed against yours, nudging it up to allow his lips to hover just over yours. Close enough that you could almost taste them, but much too far away to satisfy the hunger you had for the man.

“I love you,” he whispered, thumb stroking the apple of your cheek as his warm, brown eyes swallowed you up. “You know that, right?”

“Yes,” you swallowed hard and tilted your head up just enough to finally catch his lips. But, just as quickly as it happened, the man pulled away and let his hand begin to roam down your body. His mouth was at your ear now, nibbling at your earlobe as his hot breath slithered against your neck. You shivered. “I love you, too.”

His voice was gruff in your ear. “I’d kill for you,” his hand continued its journey down your throat, brushing past your nipple, down the length of your stomach until reaching the small smattering of hair along your mound. He was careful to keep his hands from dipping any lower, tormenting you as best to his ability, which just about killed you, if you were being honest. “You know that?”

Bucking your hips up, you nearly growled at the lack of attention you were receiving. You were soaked and touch-starved for him. His fingers, his mouth, the erection currently poking into your thigh, anything. “I wouldn’t ask you to do that,” you managed a quiet laugh. “But I appreciate it.”

His teeth bit down on your neck again. “But, I would. I’d do anything for you, sweetheart.”

His hand slipped further down to your sopping cunt and as he slowly slipped his fingers through your wet folds, the moan he got in return nearly killed him. “Billy,” you whispered desperately. It felt as though you were going to die if you didn’t feel him inside of you. “Please.”

His lips hovered over yours and on instinct, you caught his bottom lip between your teeth and bucked your hips against his hand. He snarled as you bit down on his lip but as the metallic taste of blood met his tongue, it was as though Billy was transcending. His pace on your clit quickened but it was still too slow for you and he knew it. He was torturing you, killing you, and he was enjoying every second of it. Struggling against the belt, your struggle was all for naught as it didn’t so much as move an inch.

“You’d love me, no matter what, right?” He asked, slipping one of his fingers inside of you as he kissed his way down to your chest. Lapping at your nipple, Billy was gentle at first before biting down hard enough to draw blood. Tit for Tat.

“Yes,” you moaned. Your entire body was on fire as his fingers brought you closer to the edge. “But I’d love you even more if you fucked me. You’re killing me, Loomis.”

Licking up the small trail of blood off of your tits, Billy hummed against your nipple and added another finger inside of your pussy. He’d fuck you soon but right now, he needed to feel your entire body light up the way it always had when he drove you into that fit of madness. You were a woman unhinged in the bedroom, he knew as much, and he knew exactly how to get that animal inside of you out.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he admired, reaching his hand up to coat your tit in your own slick. When it was sufficiently wet, he licked your juices off of your breast and growled. God, you tasted so fucking good. “You’re my girl, Y/N, you’re always going to be my girl, right?”

You looked up at him as those words fell from his lips. His brown hair hung down his forehead, his neck red from the strain of having to watch you writhe beneath him without doing a damned thing about it. But what struck you was the look of vulnerability in those brown eyes. That longing, far-away look as his eyes searched yours.

He wanted nothing more than to hear you say that you wanted him. Needed him. Just as much as he needed you.

“Always,” the answer tumbled out of your lips before you so much as thought twice. “I’m your girl, Billy.”

His mouth caught yours in a bruising kiss. Finally, his pace quickened inside of you as met your throbbing core with his dept fingers. With his thumb circling your clit, he dipped two fingers inside of you and grinned against your mouth as you let out a low, desperate moan.

It happened so fast after that. One moment, you were the one tied up on the bed and the next, he’d released you, stripped himself naked, and managed to flip you over so that you were the one on top of him, straddling his waist. Pulling away from you mouth, Billy’s eyes darkened as he saw that familiar glimmer in your eyes. That animalistic side of you was out in full force now.

“Get up here.” He demanded.

You smirked and leaned across him so that your lips hovered over his. “Why would I want to do that?”

He leaned up, the veins in his neck swelled against his neck as he caught your bottom lip between his teeth. “Get. Up. Here.”

Releasing your lip, Billy watched you smirk and crawl up the remainder of his body until your pussy was less than an inch away from his mouth. Grabbing onto the metal of the headboard you’d just been tied up to, you gasped as Billy’s tongue slid into your folds. Finding your clit instantly, you moaned and allowed your eyes to fall shut as you reached down to play with your hardened nipples.

Fuck, what Billy could do with his mouth should have been illegal.

He sucked and lapped at your clit as you rocked back and forth against his mouth. His fingers dug into your hips, so much so that you knew there would be bruises in the morning but, blinded by the pleasure between your thighs, you couldn’t care less.

The moans that were coming out of you were raw and guttural and, as you played with your own tits, envisioning his hands being the ones to squeeze and nip on the swollen buds of your nipples, you saw stars.

“Fuck,” you moaned out, “Billy, baby, fuck.”

He pulled your hips further down so that you were sitting on his face. Not just hovering but sitting on that perfect mouth of his as he held you in place. You knew it must have been hard for him to breathe but he was adamant and as his tongue continued its assault on your throbbing cunt, you came devastatingly hard and incredibly loud.

Stars danced behind your eyes as you continued to ride out your orgasm. When you couldn’t take another second of Billy’s skilled tongue, you climbed off of him only to feel his large hands take hold of your hips again.

Swinging you around so that you were on your back and he was the one hovering over you, Billy wasted no time in slipping his rock-hard erection into your soaking pussy.

He was thrusting hard and the sounds of your juices squelching with every thrust of his cock would have been off-putting if it hadn’t been for the raw, primal need coursing off of the pair of you in waves. He was kissing your lips and biting them and suckling your neck as he continued to rail into you with all of passion in the world. You weren’t sure you’d ever seen him this riled up and you had to admit it was inherently sexy seeing him so affected by you.

Not surprising in the least, it didn’t take him long to come. You’d riled him up to the point of no return in the car and, as you felt him come inside of you, you all but laughed when he dramatically crashed on the bed beside you.

Sweat glistened over every inch of body and the sheen of your juices was still on his lips as he kissed you. This kiss was slow, methodical. Sweet. And you felt yourself fall even harder for the man as he broke the kiss and gently brushed your hair away from your now damp forehead.

Wrapping one arm around your chest, Billy held you against him as he propped himself against the headboard. You were both naked and sweating and while a shower was something you both definitely needed, neither of you found yourselves all too willing to move out of the other’s embrace.

“Is it hard being back here?” You asked, listening to his heart beating in his chest.

“For a second, maybe,” he admitted, soothing your hair down. “Not now.”

“What’s changed?” You asked with a small smile. “The sex was that good, huh?”

A quiet chuckle shook his chest as he kissed the top of your head. “I think horror meets niche porn is my new favourite genre.”

Kissing his naked chest, you grinned into his body. “Same.”

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

Text

If I Fell For You (Part 16) - Drowning

Summary: The reader’s night goes from bad to awful fast but thankfully Jensen shows up at the last second to stop things from getting any worse. But the guilt the reader feels over trying to end things with Jensen to protect him starts to become too much...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,600ish

Warnings: language, being drunk, minor violence, scary situations, angst, fighting, fluff, offscreen death of minor character, anxiety, panic attack, minor injury

A/N: This chapter is a whirlwind! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

It was a close to an hour later and you were halfway through a bottle of bourbon, laying on the back porch of your mom’s house, staring at the rafters and debating finishing off the whole thing.

“Y/N?” you heard. Your skin crawled as you sat up, spotting your father at the other end of the wrap around. “Are you drunk?”

“This would be an appropriate time to tell you that yes, I am and I also have this,” you said, reaching behind your and picking up a hunting rifle. “I might be plastered but I think that’ll only improve my aim. I’ll be nice and shoot for your balls first.”

“You got so much wrong about me kid.”

You fired a shot near his feet and he held up his hands.

“Why don’t you go jump off a bridge or some shit,” you said.

“Y/N.”

You pulled the trigger as he took a step forward and he jumped when it hit the window nearby. You pulled again but it just clicked as he walked closer.

“Your new momma never taught you that kind of rifle only has two shots, did she,” he said. You tried to stand but got way too dizzy and fell down.

“Well I can still tear you apart with my teeth,” you said.

“You’re drunk and judging by your face, very upset. What happened to that boy you were with? I didn’t see him when I looked around.”

“Touch me and that boy will rip your head off.”

“This doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” he said, stepping far too close for your liking. You swung the rifle at him but he caught it and kicked the bottle away before you could get at it. “All grown up. Probably enjoy it now.”

You crawled back as far as you could, eyes darting behind him when you saw movement. You barely caught the brown hair and green eyes before your father was face first on the porch. You tried to stand but he yanked on your ankle and pulled you down hard. It took a long time to peel open your eyes again, your father now at Jensen’s feet. Jensen pushed down on his back while he talked on the phone to someone and it didn’t take long to hear sirens in the distance.

“For the record,” said Jensen as he walked over to you and crouched down, his belt around your father’s wrists, “I didn’t believe you for a second. Oh and you’re a dumbass but you’re my dumbass. Forever. Got it?”

“I couldn’t…” you trailed off. He nodded and took off his flannel, wrapping it over your shoulders. “I knew he would do something and I couldn’t have him near the kids or know they exist. I couldn’t-”

“I know, honey,” he said. “But don’t you dare ever do anything like that again.”

You put your head down sniffled, dizzy still as he rubbed your back before going back to watching your dad.

It took an hour or so before you could go home and you were sober enough to stand on your own.

“Can I ask why you made the executive decision that you did?” asked Jensen, holding your arm loosely as you got into his car to head back.

“Because I’m stupid,” you said dryly from the passenger seat as he turned on his SUV.

“I mean more so why didn’t you come to me if you were scared? Why make up a lie?”

“You did let me go. You must have believed me at least for a few seconds,” you said.

“No, I actually didn’t.”

“You let me go.”

He was quiet until you got close to the brewery, Jensen pulling off onto the plot of land he owned next to it. You leaned your head against the cold window and he turned off the engine.

“This whole, tired, don’t talk to me attitude right now? Been there. Lived it. I know it’s bullshit.”

“You let me leave so you did believe me so-” you said, Jensen pressing a finger to your lips.

“I am certain of very few things and you are one of them. I let you go so I could figure out what scared you so badly you’d lie, to me. There’s only one thing I can think of so before you even had a foot out of that house, I was calling people and I got put on with Detective Finn who worked your case as a kid and I find out that dick for brains sack of shit just moved practically down the street from us. It does not take a genius to put the pieces together.”

“Fine! I did it in some stupid attempt to protect you,” you said. You glared at him and he shook his head. “What?”

“I’m not gonna get mad at you.” You put your head back on the window and stared out to the dark trees, sniffling some. “Why do you want me to be angry with you?”

“Uh because I didn’t forget to turn on the washing machine or leave on a light. I lied. I lied so big that-”

“You lied to protect your family from a monster. Do I wish you had told me? Yes. But I fuck up so much and you’ve never once been angry with me for making a mistake and I’ll never be angry with you for making one either. I know you want me to be angry with you, feel like you should be punished for what you imagine is hurting me. But you didn’t hurt me, Y/N. You didn’t and I know you get that because so many times you’ve been on the other side of this and I know you’ve never once thought, oh yeah Jensen’s a piece of shit, let him really have it. No. Just no. So I’m not getting mad at you and I don’t know what to fucking say to make you feel better like you always do me and I’m so sorry he got so close to hurting you again. But I’m really good at fighting monsters in this family. So please next time, I don’t care if you’re scared of the bug on the wall or you think someone’s outside the house or what it is. If you’re scared, tell me and I’ll do my best to make it go away, I promise.”

“What do you do when you want to hate yourself for being an idiot?” you asked quietly. You heard him shift in his seat and you shut your eyes, the sound of a door opening and then another. Strong arms wrapped around you and you buried your face in his chest.

“I try to treat myself as kindly as she does. She would never hate me and she hates when I’m in pain. I see it all over her face. So I try to cut myself some slack and ask myself if she would hate me and when I realize no, I’m forced to forgive myself and it normally takes a few hours but it works pretty good. A lot of hugs and cuddling don’t hurt either.”

“Thank you for stopping him.”

“Don’t.”

“Thank you. I owe you so, so much.”

“You don’t owe me a damn thing. We got each other’s backs and that’s all there is to it. I’m just sad I missed you trying to shoot his dick off.”

“How did you know where to find me?”

“Find my iPhone. Also I figured that was a good place to check,” he said. “I would have been here sooner if Jared didn’t drive like a tortoise over to the house to watch the kids.”

“I’m sorry I scared you...and you had to do that tonight.”

“Oh punching your father was a personal highlight for me. Trust me,” he said. He stroked your cheek and you turned into the touch, eyes squeezing shut. “You’re safe.”

“He’s going to get out on bail and-”

“And we have a very good lawyer. Oh, and I know the mayor so fuck his ass, he’s not getting bail.”

You buried your face once again and he put a finger under your chin, lifting it up.

“You’re still scared.”

“He’s gonna get arrested for what, trespassing? Attempted assault? I was drunk and shot at him. He can spin it. He can spin it and be out on the street like that.”

“I’m going to ask the lawyer to do something else, something that maybe can take care of that problem.”

“What?”

“Once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit. He’s been gone for fifteen years. I have this bad feeling you weren’t the only one. Or even before that.”

“Or maybe he just hates me.”

“You don’t have to be scared. I’m gonna take care of it.”

“Jensen, I know you don’t have to worry about the money but it might still not be enough.”

“It’s enough,” he said. “Or else next time I’ll be the one with the rifle.”

“You would kill him?”

“Honestly? Yeah if it came to it. I wish people like him died in car crashes, not innocent ones. We have every right to protect ourselves and our family and I’m not letting him touch the kids or you ever.”

“I should probably say that’s bad but I don’t disagree.”

“Money works a lot. A real lot. Maybe he did something super bad and he can rot in prison forever.”

“Maybe,” you said, spotting a cruiser pull up nearby.

“Stay here, sweetie,” he said. He walked over while the officer got out. He spoke to Jensen for a moment, Jensen’s face a bit blank when he turned around.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your dad had a heart attack in the backseat,” said Jensen quietly. You cocked your head and he shook his. “Your father. In the police cruiser that was taking him for booking. He was just pronounced.”

“He died?”

“He was really overweight and didn’t look to be in the best health. He probably got his heart rate up too high and...the officer said he’d escort us home, stay outside the house for the night, calm our nerves.”

“He’s really dead?” you asked. You looked over at the officer and he came over, giving you a quick smile. “He really died?”

“Yes mam.”

“What...happens now?” you asked.

“We’ll file the report but you don’t necessarily need to press charges anymore. You’re next of kin as far as we’re aware so the body…” he trailed off when he looked at you. “We can talk about this with your lawyer.”

“Thanks,” said Jensen. “We’ll be on the road in a minute.”

The officer climbed back in his cruiser, Jensen leaning against the doorframe. He tucked your hair behind your ear, letting out a deep breath.

“Y/N,” he said. He stroked your cheek, your head turning up. “What is it, honey?”

“I don’t feel bad at all. I’m actually happy. That kinda is freaking me out a little. You shouldn’t be happy someone died.”

“Most people you’re right, you shouldn’t. But there are exceptions. He tormented you. He harassed you. He came after our family. I’m gonna sleep just fine tonight knowing he’s never coming back in our lives.”

“Were you scared of him?” He ducked his head down and you took hold of his hand. “Jensen.”

“Put it this way, I’d protect my family by any means necessary. What scares me was what if I was five minutes later tonight. Ten minutes. My job is to protect you and especially from monsters like that.”

“I’m a big girl Jensen. You don’t have to protect me from anything.”

“Yes I do, just like if it were me in your shoes I know you’d have done the same exact thing. We protect each other. It’s not because I’m the guy or I’m stronger. You’re my family and that’s what we do.”

“Thank you for protecting me and forgiving me for being stupid earlier,” you said. He smiled and nodded.

“You’re my dumbass and I’m yours,” he said. “Want to go home now?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I really do.”

“He’s really gonna spend the night?” you asked half an hour later in bed, Jensen shutting the door after himself. “He knows there’s a cop outside, right?”

“What can I say, Jared...he thinks of you like a little sister,” he said. “I can’t blame him for being protective.”

“I’ll be right back,” you said. You climbed out of bed and went downstairs, the light dim aside from where Jared was reading on the couch, a blanket over his legs. He looked over the top of the book and set it down, sitting up.

“Everything alright?” he asked. You smiled and took a seat on the edge of the couch, pulling him into a hug.

“Thanks for staying,” you said, a pair of large arms wrapped around your back.

“Of course.”

“You do know there’s nobody to bother us now, right?”

“I know. Some peace of mind never hurt anybody though,” he said. “Go on back to your fiance. You guys had a rough night.”

“Yeah,” you said, closing your eyes. “Thanks.”

He kissed your temple and you returned to your room, Jensen pulling you under the covers. You let out a deep breath, turning into his side.

“Here,” he said. He started to take off his bracelet but you shook your head.

“It’s yours, Jensen. I feel safe, I promise.”

“You’re tense still, honey.”

“Still working on that not being so angry at myself thing,” you said. He smiled and kissed you quickly, laying an arm over your waist. “I know what you said but I still want you to be pissed at me for lying.”

“You didn’t hurt me.”

“But-”

“You didn’t hurt me, Y/N and you know what? Sometimes, you’re gonna hurt me and I’m gonna hurt you. We’ll have bad days and get annoyed with one another. I’ll leave dishes in the sink and make a mess of the closet. You’ll chew with your mouth open and never fill up your car with gas until it’s too low. We’re not perfect. But even if we do hurt each other, we forgive each other because that’s what you do. We’re not always gonna like each other and what we do but we’ll always love each other. I don’t want to be mad at you. I want you to feel safe and know that I understand why you did what you did. I do. Please try to let it go, for me.”

“I am trying,” you said quietly. You shut your eyes and turned away, his arm over you pulling you back against his chest. “You’re normal. I can’t just stop hating myself like that.”

“You think I’m normal?” he chuckled. “Me?”

“Did you ever have to punch Dee’s psycho father? Did you ever have to talk about protecting her? Did she ever put your family in danger? Did she ever-”

“Y/N.”

“Go away,” you said, pushing his arm off of you. You moved over farther on your side of the bed, tucking your covers under your chin. The bed shifted and you tried to move again but his arm pulled you straight back to his chest, fingers dipping under your ribcage and holding you in place.

“I might not have had to have done those things for her but I would have. For the record, you didn’t put anyone in danger. That fucking asshole did. It is not your fault he was an evil and vile person. All you did was try to protect us because you were scared and I know, I know you didn’t tell me because you’re so scared of that man and I don’t blame you. He made my skin crawl and I interacted with him for all of five minutes. Get it out of your system however you need to but you are stuck with me forever. There is nothing you could do to make me want you gone so get used to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this,” you breathed out. You pulled your sheets over your head, taking deep heaving breaths. “You have so much to worry about already. You shouldn’t have to…”

“Did you think I couldn’t handle the news?” he asked. “That your father was so close by?”

“I thought you’d hate me,” you whispered. He tugged down your sheets and you squeezed your eyes shut as he turned you around.

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Now you’re angry.”

“Look at me.” You forced them open, meeting a soft face and sad eyes. “Why would I ever hate you?”

“My shit’s supposed to stay in the past. You don’t…” you said, Jensen furrowing his brow. “See, you’re mad.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Your shit stays in the past.”

“It means you’ve had the world’s worst fucking year and you’re in such a good place now and you need to focus on you and not have my shit come in and fuck that up.”

“Do you think I can’t take care of you?” he asked.

“No of course not.”

“It sounds like you’re saying that you think you can’t have problems cause I can’t handle it.”

“Well at least I got what I wanted with you pissed,” you said, glaring up at him, tears welling in your eyes. You tried to push away but he held his arm around you. “Jensen, let me up.” You pushed again and he glared right back. “Stop it. Let me out of bed.” He only glared and you tore your eyes away from his face.

“Do you think I’m weak?”

“No,” you said, keeping your head low.

“Then why-”

“Because you need a fucking break. I dealt with this shit years and years ago. I understand needing a fucking break and people need to take care of you, help you. You’re a different man than the one I met way back in January. You’re so happy and healthy and you have a different outlook on life again and that’s incredible. I’m so proud of you for that. But you’re just, just out of the woods and I’m not gonna be the one that sends you back in because of my fucking problems.”

“They’re our fucking problems,” he said. “Our problems. There’s no your problems or my problems anymore. It’s us together. Why do you think I’d hate you?”

“Jensen,” you said, pushing on his chest. “Stop.”

“Why?”

“I said stop!”

“Tell me.”

“Because I’m scared,” you said. He let his hold go lax and you sat up, getting out of bed. You walked over to the balcony door and rested your forehead against the cool glass. The bed creaked and you felt his presence behind you.

“You’re scared of me.” You scrunched up your face and nodded. “Why?”

“Because if you realized how fucked up I am, you wouldn’t come near me with a ten foot pole. I’m not supposed to cause you problems. I’m supposed to fix them, be there for you.”

“But I can’t be there for you. You assume I’m just a dick where it’s only me and my shit that we can work on right?” he said.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Relationships go both ways, Y/N. I don’t expect you to take care of me for the rest of my life. You are allowed to need help too.”

“You don’t understand.”

“No, you don’t understand,” he said, grabbing your arm and spinning you around. He was frowning, his voice an octave higher if you didn’t know any better. “Do you honestly think I would have been angry at you if you told me about your father being in town? Do you?”

“I put the kids-”

“For the last time, you didn’t put anyone in danger,” he growled. “What is going on with you?”

“How many times do I have to say it, I’m not supposed to cause any problems!” you said.

“Yes you are! You, me, the kids. We’re all gonna have fucking problems sooner or later. Why do you think I’d hate you for telling me you had a problem, sweetheart?”

You fidgeted with the bottom of your shirt, looking past him.

“Something with your dad, isn’t it. Something got triggered in you after that phone call with the detective, didn’t it.”

“Call Ray. Tell him to come over,” you said quietly. He nodded and grabbed his phone, sending off a quick message before he was guiding you to sit on the bed.

“Honey,” he said when you pulled away from him. “Okay, no touching. Can I get you anything while we wait for Ray?”

“Probably should tell that cop that we’re expecting someone,” you said, rubbing your hands against your thighs. “Fuck, tell Ray it’s the help thing. He’ll understand.”

“Okay,” he said with a nod. You rubbed your legs harder and he stared at you. “Y/N.”

“I’m trying not to have a panic attack,” you grit out. “I haven’t had one since I was eight.”

Your head was turned and you felt his hands on your cheeks, Jensen forcing a smile. You stared for a long beat before you took a breath, his head nodding.

“That feels better,” you said, your hands not rubbing so hard. You heard feet and the door open, glancing behind Jensen to catch Jared in the doorway. You could feel your heart rate pick up, Jared nodding.

“I get panic attacks too,” he said. You nodded and Jensen glanced over his shoulder. “I heard arguing.”

“Can you tell that cop outside Ray is coming by and to let him in?” said Jensen.

“Sure. Who’s Ray?” asked Jared.

“Her mom’s old boyfriend and foster dad. He was her therapist when she was little. Something’s not right,” said Jensen.

“I’ll send him up as soon as he gets here.”

You felt calmer by the time Ray was walking in fifteen minutes later in sweats and not much more.

“Hey kiddo,” said Ray, giving you a quick hug before he squatted down in front of you. “Doing okay?”

You shook your head and shut your eyes, Jensen holding an arm around you. He explained what happened, Ray staying quiet. You eventually opened your eyes to stare at the floor, Ray standing and pulling over the bench from the end of the bed to sit on.

“Y/N do you want Jensen to stay?” he asked. You nodded and he hummed. “Y/N.”

“Yes,” you said dryly. “Can I have some water?”

Jensen got up and retrieved a glass from the bathroom, the pair of them watching you chug half of it down before you sat it on the nightstand.

“Y/N, does Jensen know what triggered you?” he asked.

“Not specifically. Asking for help he figured out but not the reason,” you said, looking away.

“Well on the bright side, you didn’t have a panic attack, you worked through it, you trusted Jensen to help you through it even if he didn’t know why and some of your coping skills helped you out quite a bit. But this is something Jensen needs to know. You’ll need help in a relationship and I know this is the big one but he needs to know so this never happens again,” said Ray.

“What if he thinks I overreacted?” you said.

“I won’t, trust me,” said Jensen. “Secret’s safe with me.”

“Go on, Y/N,” said Ray. You took a deep breath and Jensen held your hand, stroking his thumb over the back.

“So you kinda figured out that me having a problem was the trigger and that I didn’t ask for your help earlier and kinda assumed a bad reaction if I did.”

“Yup and that’s all okay,” he said softly.

“It wasn’t because of you that I assumed you’d have a bad reaction. It was something that happened to me that sort of...default my head to react and anticipate things in a certain way in that particular situation.”

“So if you have a problem and ask for help, you assume the person you’re asking for help from will not take it in a good way?” he asked.

“Yeah, basically. If it’s a really big problem and if I anticipate that the problem would upset the person I’m asking then my head assumes this bad thing will happen. In that case, it assumes the much better option is to not reveal the problem at all and handle it myself because then the bad thing won’t happen,” you said.

“The bad thing. It’s bad isn’t it,” he said. “Really bad.”

“Y/N, remember you can share without the graphics involved,” said Ray. You nodded and leaned your head back.

“When I was six I broke something of my dad’s. A mug. His favorite mug. I picked up the pieces but I knew it was his favorite so I didn’t throw it out. I asked him for help putting it back together,” you said. “The amount of rage he had over a broken mug...I never experienced such a horrible day in all eight years as that one.”

He didn’t say anything and you tucked your feet up, holding one up to him and showing the bottom. He stared at it and cocked his head, narrowing his eyes. It took him a moment but you saw when he noticed the small little scars. His eyes flickered back to yours and you nodded.

“He hurt me badly,” you said. “All day long.” He stared at you and you told him exactly the way the scars came to be, Jensen shuddering and closing his eyes. “It wasn’t a good day.”

“Fuck,” he said, standing up and rubbing his arm. “You were six?”

He shook his head and went to the balcony door, taking a deep breath.

“Jensen. You alright?” asked Ray.

“No,” he said, turning around, looking to you. “That many times?”

“One for every broken piece,” you said. He ran his hands over his face and shut his eyes. “The worst thing was just that it went on all day. It was long enough for me to interpret it as conditioning for a result of an event rather than just a bad memory from everything me and Ray worked out back in the day. It hasn’t been a trigger for me ever really but we knew it could be someday for a big life problem potentially. I’m guessing with it involving my dad, it kinda sent me into overdrive earlier.”

“Jensen,” said Ray, shooting you a quick glance. “Y/N’s okay. I’m actually quite impressed with her behavior. There was no hesitancy or waiver in her voice. I don’t feel as though this will likely be an issue ever again now that it’s out in the open and her father is gone.”

“You’re the closest thing to a father she’s ever had,” said Jensen, rubbing the back of his neck. “You know every horrible thing that’s happened to her and, and you just...all you did was throw him out of the country for fifteen years?”

“First off, the law was different back then and it was a lifetime ban. Second of all, buddy, violence isn’t always the answer to violence,” said Ray, getting to his feet.

“You should have adopted her.”

“She didn’t want me to.”

“You were the damn adult. She was the kid. Act like one,” said Jensen. “I mean fuck, you adopted two other kids only a few years later.”

“If I had adopted her you wouldn’t even know she fucking exists,” shot back Ray. “Her father still would have come back and this would have happened regardless.”

“You should have done what you needed to the second he popped up again when she was a teenager.”

“I did not strike you as a violent man but I do not like it.”

“She was almost assaulted by that man again tonight,” growled Jensen. “He tortured her and tormented her and he got barely any time at all for that. I would have-”

“Why’d you call the police then?” he asked. Jensen swallowed and Ray shrugged. “Why back at the farmhouse did you call the police? You could have killed him, called it self-defense and been done with it. Why?”

Jensen looked down and Ray sighed.

“The price for being a good person is making hard decisions, Jensen. Would I have loved to have rid the world of that son of a bitch the second I learned all about him? Oh you don’t know the half of it. I’m a trauma therapist, Jensen. Mostly for kids and teenagers. Do you know how much fucked up shit I’ve heard in my life? The world has so much ugliness in it. But it’s got good too and that’s why you called the police like you were supposed to and that’s why she loves you. She needs a good man, not a violent one. I’m not saying don’t think about protecting your family. But don’t act on it unless you don’t have a fucking choice, kid. Understand me?”

Jensen nodded and Ray cleared his throat.

“Say it.”

“Yes, sir,” said Jensen quietly.

“Ray, don’t get mad at him. He’s not used to this stuff,” you said. You stood and pulled Jensen back to the bed, Ray crossing his arms and nodding. “If I ever feel this happening again, what should I do?”

“You could work on reconditioning instead,” said Ray. “Work on saying I have a problem to Jensen and ask for help, even if there isn’t a problem. If Jensen responds positively or even neutrally and you two work at it maybe an hour or so a day for the next week or two, I don’t think you’ll ever have to be afraid of that trigger coming back. All of your triggers Y/N have involved your father. I know similarities can set you off but they’re small, manageable. You never have to worry about anyone hurting you ever again.”

“I know. I should have trusted my partner to have my back,” you said.

“I don’t blame you. I didn’t before and I definitely don’t now,” said Jensen. Ray smiled and pulled the bench back over to the bed.

“Get some rest you two,” he said.

“Ray?” you said after he gave you a hug. “Why didn’t you adopt me?”

“Honestly?” he asked. You nodded, Jensen preening his ears. “You reminded me so much of your mother and I was devastated when we lost her. I should have been the adult and done what was right but after seeing her in pain for years...I didn’t have it in me to take on a grieving teenager that would have been just as angry back at me. She already was so angry then, I would have put fuel on the flames. I didn’t have it in me to be strong anymore and that’s my mistake for not trying.”

“You can adopt adults,” said Jensen. You both looked at him and he smiled. “Adults can be adopted.”

“Not sure if…” trailed off Ray as you smiled at him. “Y/N, we’ve only just started talking again.”

“Maybe if that keeps going well...maybe things could...work out…” you said. “If you wanted.”

“Yeah, maybe we can do that,” he said with a smile. “It’s getting late. Put her to bed. Don’t be surprised if there’s a nightmare or two tonight.”

“Okay. Thank you,” said Jensen as Ray started to leave.

“Take care of her kid,” he said. Jensen nodded and you lay back in bed, the house growing quiet.

“I’m so sorry,” said Jensen, his head lowering after a few moments. “I should have realized…”

“You did realize,” you said, sitting up. “Even when my head couldn’t come out and say I trust you and I know I’m acting a certain way because of what my dad put me through, you stayed calm and figured it out. You got nothing to be sorry for.”

“I’m sorry he hurt you. I got to pretend to be a cowboy and my dad read me stories when I was six. The worst thing I ever got was a few smacks but I know he regrets doing that,” he said. “Even then it was because I was acting out not…I just don’t understand why he would ever hurt you.”

“I stopped trying to understand him a long time ago,” you said, the door opening. You both turned, Arrow walking in with a pair of wet eyes. “You have a nightmare, sweetie?”

“I went…to the bathroom…” she said when you noticed her holding her wrist. Jensen hopped up and walked over, picking her up gently and setting her beside you. “I fell down off the step stool. It was wet.”

“Tell me what hurts,” he said.

“My hand,” she said.

“Let daddy see,” you said. She moved her hand back and you both saw her wrist was swollen and bruised. Jensen swore under his breath and guided her hand back on it. “Okay, you hold it if it feels better that way, honey. Daddy, I think Arrow should go to urgent care.”

“Arrow, why don’t you go get your dolly and we’ll bring her with us. We might have to wait a minute,” he said. “Be careful okay? I’ll come get you in just a minute.”

“Mommy?” she asked, staring up at you.

“Mommy’s really tired-” said Jensen when you stood up.

“Uncle Jared is staying over though, daddy. Go get your dolly and mommy and daddy will get dressed,” you said. She sniffled but climbed down okay, Jensen sighing when she left the room. “She wants me there and I want to be there. I’m going.”

“Alright but you’re going to try and get some sleep in the waiting room at least, please.”

“No promises.”

________

A/N: Read Part 17 here!

#spn #supernatural #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x reader #jensen series #rpf #rpf series #spn fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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dropsofletters · 3 years

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a couple hearts under a smile [lyy]

SUMMARY: the length of his relationship comes with new discoveries in every portion of her that she could even dare call an insecurity. romance is filled with growth, yangyang recognizes, as his fingertips twirl around every bit of her and her heart.

though, from her part, the feature she discovered first was his heart, not held on his sleeve but in his smile instead.

TITLE: a couple hearts under a smile PAIRING: liu yangyang x reader GENRE: slice of life!au ; established relationship!au ; epiphany!au ; normal people!au TYPE: teeth-rotting fluff, glimpses of angst WORD COUNT: 4,215 NOTE: this was a kofi request. hope you enjoy it!

FEATURE DISCOVERED (!): The Unknown.

Moles are lands. Endless valleys of curves that end on miniscule dots of earth. Some are darker, caressed by the sun, and some lay on rosier tones, like a lukewarm pink lemonade in a summer morning. It shouldn’t be something he notices, eyes trailing over the expanse of her back and the rise of her shirt, the way she folds her body on the bed to inspect the video on her phone with utmost detail. To anyone who is not in love—and Yangyang swears, he isn’t—, matters like dots shouldn’t make or break a person.

They shouldn’t make his heart contract.

Truth be told, maybe she matches his bedroom a little too well. Forgotten are the hotel beds for when they need privacy; for now, Yangyang plasters on his side, watching the contort of his bedsheets plastering to her half-heated skin. Her hair messes itself up with perhaps two days of being unwashed, standing at certain spots, her cheek squished, lips half-parted and as always, that look in her eyes. He never recognizes it; it’s the unknown part of her land. Of the piece of earth that she is, so complex and yet so full, so small in its stance in the world just as big as she is in dreaming and thinking.

His hand expands in front of him, bending his digits around the glimmer of the lightbulb in golden hues. It’s endless; for once, the seconds pass by with enough force to catch him breathless but still, they are far too slow. As if the world is screaming at him to notice this moment, to grab her in his arms and give oaths to protecting her.

“Do you think there is an end to us?”

She pauses, long beads of silence that fall just like the sweat on the back of his neck. This AC isn’t working quite right this summer, but maybe, it’s his style choices for oversized t-shirts that does it. “Is that your way of breaking up with me?” Her fingers pinch softly at the skin of his forearm, only to form a toothy grin on his face.

He turns to her, cascades of rich caramel hair falling across his forehead before he shakes them away from his vision. “No way.” It’s the third week of the relationship, but by now, she knows Yangyang is not the best at wording himself. “Like, the expanse of the universe. Do you think we’re a loop of a story, that repeats even after we die, like a videogame or a show? Or do you think it just ends, with the credits rolling and no one to remember us?”

She ponders for a moment, leaving room for Yangyang to cocoon the small of her back in between his fingers, only to briefly stare at her constellations, dots of skin that wishes he could thank whoever drew her in their imagination. “That’s where I think we divert, Yang.” Her words barely leave her mouth but he is thankful. Never would he have these kinds of conversations with his friends. “…I would remember you with so much strength that I’d keep you alive.”

“You say that just because you like me now.”

“I’m not saying you’ll always be a good memory, though I really hope so.” She confesses, contrasting the creamy champagne of his walls. “But Yang, in retrospect, if we’re talking deep shit…I think we keep two kinds of people alive in our brains. The ones that hurt us the most and the ones who we never want to let go of. Everyone remembers the worst day of their lives in vivid detail of pain and transition, but we also remember that one person that changed it all for us.”

He shouldn’t think about it, let silence take over them for the first time in their brief relationship. Three months ago, he was spitting funny lines into her texts, and now, he is speechless. He licks his red lips, his delicately sunburnt skin turning into a faint tan with a glimmer of pink blush, on his cheeks, respectively. All natural.

“…Like that one man that gave us free ice cream on our first date?”

The rapid chuckle that escapes her throat has him figuring out that whoever added sound to art in drawn form, paired with those moles of hers, must have been a genius. “That old man was the kind of old men we were told to run away from as kids but also the best old man ever.”

“Say old man again.” Yangyang teases.

“Want to call Kun in the room?”

“Hell no.” He finalizes, pushing his lips together before tilting his head to the side. “…What kind of person am I to you?”

“Well, the one who changes it in a good way.” She adds, pausing her video—though, it’s very close to ending and pretty much not watched to its entirety by her—, before turning to her. “…You know, not exactly the prince one would gush about in The Princess Diaries, but my prince nonetheless—”

More heat collects on his cheeks as he squishes his face to her shoulder-blades, sighing in the process. “Stop.” He drags.

“You’re like Shrek, babe.”

“Stop. It doesn’t help Kunhang kinda looks like donkey.”

Her laughter softens him, shaking his face on its position before she places one hand on the nape of his neck, rubbing at it softly. “It’s too early to say if we’re endless. We’re young, firstly. Most of our days feel like it’ll be our last, not because we live it to the fullest—though, that you do, I’ve seen you dip French fries in lemon ice cream—,” Now, he looks up, tugging at the edge of her shirt to ask her to stop. “But because being young is being scared, Yang, but even though I am afraid of the deepness and endlessness of what I feel for you, I also know that you don’t fear me. You don’t fear falling for me and that makes me want to try, even if you’re not my forever-and-ever love affair, you know?”

She’s not a land. She’s the universe at that moment, with its stars and its questions, its interest in dragging him into loops of what he will never understand but peacefully glorifies. Instead, he presses a kiss to those moles across her back, because she is right about something—he doesn’t fear her. Yangyang was the one that deep-dived into this relationship, breathing underwater, holding her hand through it all and they are just now getting used to the temperature of the water.

Their fingers interlock when he pushes his face away from her. “French fries and ice cream is top tier.”

“Not with lemon, Yang.” She completes, turning around and letting her eyelashes flutter like feathers on her skin, softly luring him in for a kiss.

“You have no tastes.”

“…In men or in food?”

“Half and half. The men before me were phew—”

“Well, I don’t.” Her arm hooks around his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “Because my tastes in men have led me to you.”

At three weeks into the relationship, he thinks every mole scattered on their bodies were meant to connect.

###

FEATURE DISCOVERED (!): The Nostalgia.

A crisp cup of hot chocolate blows dense smoke into his face, ever so slowly, like a caress of the skin that inspires itself in a dance. The room is bustling, his family members scattered along friends of the family, each their own polaroid memory of what Yangyang has always known. Backbones, companions, a structure so defined that he could never see it falling down, and he doesn’t even think about the possibility of it disappearing, because that would be impossible.

December meets him with dense sweaters, better skin and the tip of his nose dying in coldness, as the chill music in the background lures the older adults into a slumber, annoys the teens, goes ignored by the children that jump from one side of the thickly decorated room to the other. The tree, the dangling lights, Christmas has come full force and yet, Yangyang is glued to the side of whom he calls his ‘five months of everyday’.

His girlfriend, if anyone asks.

He notices, then, when he places one hand on her hip when nearing her at the other side of the living room, that there is a dip. Not so sly, perhaps ignored in the plenty of moments in which his fingers had grazed the feature. In the dark red dress, barely clinging to her skin, it is more noticeable. It fits him perfectly, like a portion of her being that bent only to be completed by him. His chocolate eyes dissert her face, coated in prettily done bronzed makeup, as her eyes stare anywhere but at him, a nervous smile appearing on her features.

“Yang, I didn’t see you coming! Uh, how’s it going?” Her hand trails over his shoulder towards his forearm, nearing their stomachs until they are flush together, but Yangyang keeps studying her face.

“What’s going on, babe?” He questions and maybe, he should try to lighten things up just to bring a smile back to her face. A real one, that’s what he’s looking for. “Normally, people look me in the eye when I’m talking to them, but I like this new technique. It gives me the time to look down your shirt without you scolding me for it—”

She rolls her eyes, the ghost of a grin poking at the side of her lips before her fingers start to skim across his covered skin. “I’m okay.”

“You don’t seem like it.” Yangyang points out the obvious, pressing a kiss to her temple before scrunching up his small nose. Not out of distaste, but the cold is killing him. Another sip of his hot chocolate should be enough, much more when he shares it with her. “…Anything you want to talk about?”

While still holding her by the hips, her eyes divert towards the rest of the room. There is that lonesome look in her eyes, the one that he always wants to describe but never manages to reach for its fullest meaning. “It’s been a long time since I saw this.”

“My family?” Yangyang asks, pointing around with his mug. “Well, you’ve got lots to see, even if it’s your first time seeing them. I think the booze may have gotten to you. Did you drink anything? I’ve been downing chocolate before getting myself some of the cocktails my aunt prepared but—”

“It’s been a long time since I have seen happiness like this during the holidays.” She completes and it only takes her a second before hiding her face in the crook of his neck. Puzzle pieces that people would have never thought they could pair up so well; so different in every way, but made for the other’s every curve. The breath she gives against his skin, in and out, is harsh and pained. “The last few years, I’ve spent them on my own, and I thought I’d continue to do so every year after that. Me, seated in the same old couch, crying to the Bridget Jones films, eating some dinner that I don’t really like, and just…looking through the window in hopes of seeing someone pass by, at least, to feel less…”

His digits press harder into her skin. Enough to tell her that he’s there, because he knows the rest of that sentence. To feel less lonely. Yangyang had never been much of the lonesome type, and the time hasn’t come around for him to be so, neither does he ever want it to. “You’ll spend every holiday with me from now on. Each and every single one. Even if we hate each other, we’ll just scowl at one another from across the room and sip on hot chocolate.”

“Sounds inviting.” She chuckles against his skin, pulling away before looking up into his eyes, trailing her gaze around before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. The apples of his cheeks don’t paint in such a dense blush like it did in the very beginning and the flutter of his stomach has dissipated, but the heart…the heart speaks of all the longing he has for her.

“I’m sorry that you were so alone.” Yangyang mumbles, almost like he wants to change the past and he’s doing it right now. Though, if his mom taught him something is that wounds heal, but they never disappear. They leave their wake behind in burns that can scald forever or just momentarily. “…I’m sorry that I wasn’t there.”

“How could you have been? You’re here now.”

“But you remember it.” Yangyang argues, tossing his head back and letting a deep sigh shake through him. “…Why you?”

“Why me what?”

“Why did you have to be alone?”

She wraps her arms fully around his neck, almost making the mug tumble in between the two. Instead, he balances it on the hand that dares leave her skin, because the other is forever glued to a part that he knows she tries to cover. “I asked myself that for a while,” Her mouth starts, but then, she smiles sweetly. “But then I realized every lonely moment was leading up to you, and that doesn’t make it hurt less, but it makes me accept it.”

“No,” Yangyang drags, putting his mug down and fully engulfing her in a hug. “God, you don’t have to, like, shit, I don’t know how to voice out to you how good you deserve to have everything—”

“Mom!” One of his little cousins screeches at the top of her lungs, her pigtails moving with the swing of her feet. She’s only a few centimeters away from them. “Yangyang and his girlfriend are hugging it out!”

“Ling, stop bothering your cousin.”

“You want to be annoying, Ling?” Yangyang utters in a low tone before pressing his hand to the top of her head. “Tag, you’re it! Come find me, loser!”

That way, he’s rushing and she is joining him, too, because stupid things done by a couple together is better than done on their own.

###

FEATURE DISCOVERED (!): The Confusion.

Panic settles on the pit of his stomach with so much force that he widens his eyes the moment he steps into the room, completely paralyzed. It’s not always that Yangyang sees a woman tucked with her own blanket like the cocoon of a butterfly, her vision already settled on the door he had just entered by, lips half-parted, a scowl on her features, and her most childish pajamas on her.

“Babe,” Yangyang calls out, giving a step forward that is almost careful, before the biggest questioning slips past his lips. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Nothing.” She replies, eyes staring upwards before blowing out a raspberry into the thin air. Yangyang drops his coat near the entrance, kneeling in front of her once he reaches her. “Want dinner? I prepared your favorite lasagna.”

“You did?” The roaring of his stomach becomes more noticeable, eyes twinkling with excitement. His fingers scatter across the sparce strand of hair falling on her face as he tucks it behind her ear. “…We’ll eat together after you tell me what’s going on with you.”

Pronounced by the throw of his body against hers, making them both lay down on the harsh wood flooring, Yangyang rests his weight on his slim elbows before pressing a kiss to her lips. “You’re really pretty.”

“Compliments won’t get you out of this situation, lady.”

“Mhm, I kinda like that.” She jokes, placing a hand on her forehead and pretending to take off a hat thereafter. “You should do it with a tip of your head and a sly smirk. Ooh, and maybe say, m’lady instead. It’d be hot.”

His forehead wrinkles under the weight of his confusion. “You’d like that?”

The biggest grin he had seen takes over her features. “Oh, please do! I promise to give you all the kisses you want for like a month.”

“I already get that.” Yangyang starts, tipping his fake imaginative hat off before smiling. “M’lady.”

The screech that leaves her lips matches the well-earned laughter coming from him, her arms wrapping around his neck only to press a big smooch to his lips. “Oh God, you’re the one. That’s it. I was thinking about the fact that I wondered if you were the one and—”

Unbelievable is the beat of his heart, racing with so much force that it almost breaks in half out of pure ecstasy and love. He doesn’t say it; Yangyang bites his tongue for a second before pressing a deeper kiss to her lips, where his tongue caresses her bottom lip, her breathing becomes uneven, limbs feeling lighter when he pulls away and breathes out.

“You’re my one, too.”

“My one?” She whispers, fluttering her eyelashes before biting her lip. “I may save you on my phone with that name.”

“I like it.” Yangyang mumbles, sitting up and tugging her with him. “Now, get up and let me heat up that lasagna because your one is starving.”

###

FEATURE DISCOVERED (!): The Love.

The tale is packed with friends by the time a year has passed by. Friends of friends, those who have been there in the loudest moments and the quietest, too. They are figurines; little reminders of the steps both Yangyang and her have taken in their lives. Scratch and make up, until they found the ones.

Kun’s smiling, so brightly that Yangyang almost teases him about it, but after so long without seeing each other, he only stuffs his cheeks with more food and grabs onto the hand that rests on his thigh. Lukewarm in such a heated place, where the soft hues of the café blend with the brown of the mugs and the pancakes to match.

Brunch, she calls it, the most important meal of the day.

She’s different. Not as bubbly as she is when Kun pours more maple into her pancakes, or when Lia decides to take a picture of the two of them. She’s not exactly somber, either. It’s the ethereal in between that has her studying every single miniscule detail of the table. Today, he notices something important about her, and it’s the dangling tear on the corner of her eye, playing between her highlighter and whatever it is that she puts in her waterline.

Where water is located in the eye passes Yangyang, apparently.

Her hand tightens around his digits, leaning back on her seat and toying with her bottom lip, once again giving a once-over to the rest of the people at the table. “Anything you want to talk about?” He whispers against her cheek, pressing a chaste kiss that has Ten hollering from the other side of the table.

“Look, two babies kissing—”

“Could you, like, shut up?” Yangyang spites, earning laughter from the table before Ten shrugs his shoulders.

“Mom couldn’t make me shut my mouth in twenty-five years of the glory that is living like me, so that’s a no…baby.”

She laughs at Ten’s antics, not forgetting to press a kiss to the back of Yangyang’s hand before chatter and speech leaves them on their private solitude when he leans into hers.

Denim to denim, because skin to skin is not exactly the description Yangyang would think about, their thighs touch, his thumb toying with the small tear before he asks the question:

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” She replies, voice velvety to the touch when she lowers it lightly. “I think this is it.”

“…It as in…wait, you’ve just confused me.”

Yangyang sees her smile then, slowly and drawn over her face, a stream of consciousness that is so perfectly given, almost like a gift. “…The moment I tell you I love you more than I’ve ever loved anybody else.” She whispers, resting her head on his shoulder before toying with his fingers.

Yangyang expected the first time he heard that romantically in a real setting to feel electrifying, but it’s so fitting. So relaxing that he is almost surprised. Her every insecurity is his utmost love, and vice versa. She is not a fan of adrenaline and rather, he is, but he can’t bear to tell her that he had fallen long ago.

Instead, he says: “I love you, too.”

They are surrounded by people, but he sees it again, that teary-eyed glance that now covers her utmost happiness. No longer does he see glimmers of the insecurities and loneliness that had once clothed her, but they are both reborn. Now he listens, instead of over-talking. He grew into a better version of himself alongside her.

“You once asked me something along the lines of you wondering if this was forever,” She explains, jutting a single finger out. “And I want to change my answer.”

“Go ahead.” Yangyang chuckles.

“…I’d like it to be.”

###

FEATURE FORGOTTEN (!): The Beginning.

Going to a comedy stand-up night alone is a little out of the unusual. Pathetic, she’d tell herself, as she sips on her soda and leans on burgundy fuzzy seats. She laughs at some points, a quirk of her mouth that goes ignored when the man by her side tosses his head back and gives out the loudest, yet the sweetest, laughter that one could ever experience.

Brown strands of hair cover the expanse of his bronzed forehead, where the sun has kissed him with enough love to make him glow naturally. His eyes are the center of his soul, gleaming with the openness and sweetness of simplicity. There are no complexities, no secrets, no shame to unveil. Lips maimed by the force of the dryness of the air, the reddened and quite well-defined skin breaks into a grin that she’d never forget. So much that she ends up knocking her drink straight into his lap.

The darkened liquid splatters on his jeans, making him stand up with a gasp that matches her own.

“I am so sorry!” She lets out, looking around for something for him to pat around his pants when she hears it. That same laugh, now even closer, lingering with a deep tone.

“…The design needed to be spiced up.” He comments, taking off his hoodie and wrapping it around his hips, snug like a glove. Soon after, his irises are studying her mortified expression, stutters leaving her lips.

“I—I can fix it. I’ll buy you a new pair and then, I’ll wash those for you. Or I could get a laundry place to do it for you—”

“Hey, hey, hey, I know how to use a laundry machine. I’ll be fine.” He shrugs. “People may think I peed my pants but we’ve all been five and peed our pants. I think that’s usual—”

“For the couple over there, I know we are doing stand up,” The comedian in his fifties says, rubbing the plaid material on his stomach before saying. “I never said to literally stand up. This is not the kiss cam, give me my attention back.”

Instead of looking mortified, the man in question giggles, crinkled nose, all teeth, with small breaths passing through his teeth. His hand extends to point at her seat, asking: “I think we should sit down?”

“We could.” In there, she sees the innocence in his gaze. Never had she felt such at ease with someone who is clearly much different from her, but once the seat meets her legs, she hears him speak again.

“I don’t find him funny.”

When she looks at him, his profile is what she sees. He has such a cute nose, gorgeous lips, probably the nicest looking man she has seen in a while. “Then, why are you here?”

“To support my friends. He’s one of the openers for tonight’s event. Kunhang?”

“Oh, I saw him.”

“Yeah, I tell him his jokes suck, truth be told. Each and every time.” The stranger confesses, a quirk of his eyebrow following after when he connects his gaze with hers. “…I lie.”

“Why?”

“Because I silently want to be funnier than him.” He jokes, nudging her side before waving his eyebrows. “There it is, a smile. I didn’t see that one since Kunhang finished his set.”

With a heated face and blurring heartbeats, she asks: “You saw me?”

“Each and every time you laughed.”

Little did he know that it was his smile that made her believe there was something more than somberness in this world.

#yangyang scenarios #yangyang #wayv scenarios #nct scenarios #nct #kpop scenarios #writing #wayv #yangyang fluff #yangyang au #yangyang angst #nct fluff #nct angst #nct au #wayv fluff #wayv angst #wayv au #this is an epiphany it's poetic trash but like...........i kinda like it lol

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

Prisoner - Bucky Barnes

a/n: hi everyone! i am really excited to share this with you, because this one was written for a writing challenge! it is part of @wkemeup ‘s 9k writing challenge and it’s the first time i take part in anything like this with a Bucky fic! not that i have many but im sure more is about to come lol! let me know what you thought after reading!

prompt: Character A is possessed/controlled and attempts to harm Character B. [B] refuses to fight back in fear of hurting [A].

pairing: Bucky X Reader

warnings: blood, violence, mind controlling, just the usual jazz lol

word count: 7.8k

masterlist

Bucky and you were a pair made in hell. Only that he is the only one out of the two of you who really went through the deepest and darkest corners of it while you were basically just waiting in the lobby, as you like to say it.

He wasn’t the only person HYDRA had plans with. Being an orphan from the age of four, you didn’t have the life you probably deserved. Abducted at the age of twenty, you lived in cells and labs for years before they gave you the serum, turning you into a super solider, with determined plans to turn you into a kind of winter soldier 2.0, eventually wiping your head like his and turning you into the perfect assassin. Only that before they could start with the torture, you were rescued by none other than Captain America during a raid on one of HYDRA’s secret bases.

The Avengers gave you shelter when you had absolutely nothing left in life. Your previous life was long forgotten, almost entirely non-existent, all you had is the safety these extraordinary people were offering you, that you took more than willingly.

You were there when Bucky was captured, still very much fighting with his own conscious. You were in the building when Zemo triggered him into being a murderer again and he broke free, fought his ex best friend, saved his life and then disappeared again. You often found yourself thinking about how you’d be just the same if you weren’t saved. How you’d be out there, used as just a toy to end lives.

You never had to go through the process of ripping this side of yourself out of your head, because they never succeeded with you. But Bucky didn’t have it as lucky as you did. When Shuri contacted you that he was awake from his hibernation and they were working on wiping the winter soldier out of him, you didn’t hesitate to drop everything and be there for him. You didn’t know him that well back then, but you felt like you shared a deep connection through the torturous things you had to go through. You were there for him until he finally became entirely himself. No more winter soldier, just Bucky.

The two of you have tens of missions together behind your back at this point. Partners in work, friends in life, that’s what you are. And in your dreams?

Definitely lovers.

Now as you are rotting in a dark and musty cell somewhere in the middle of Poland, you are starting to regret you never really told him how you feel. You had so many chances to come clear but you were too afraid of rejection and the possibility of ruining your strong friendship and most importantly partnership that you chose to keep it all bottled up inside you.

It might have been days or hours since they locked you in your cell, you wouldn’t know. You lost track of time and you’re not expecting to see the daylight anytime soon either. Are they looking for you? Or do they think you died? No one was around you when you were abducted and there were no signs left behind that would have let your team know you survived. There was a massive explosion near your location in the raid, anyone would easily think that you were caught in the middle of that.

Does Bucky think I’m dead too? Has he given up on me?

You’re starting to think you’ll never find that out. Just like how you’ll never find out what it’s like to grow old, have a home that’s not just a room in a facility, spend your days with your hobbies rather than trainings and missions.

As the thick metal door opens and a creak of light breaks the heavy darkness in your cell, you look up at the man who walks in. If your hands weren’t cuffed with fucking vibranium cuffs, you would easily kill him in a heartbeat along with the three bulky guards he brought with himself.

“It’s time to make a use out of you,” the man grinned before two guards grabbed you by your arms, dragging you out of the cell, taking you God knows here. Probably to your death.

“You have to check twice,” Buckly growled upon hearing Agent Hill’s report from what was found at the scene. Or what was not found.

“No signs of Y/N were found, Bucky. But that explosion was so massive, it wiped out everything in it’s close radius. If she stood close to that…” “But what if she didn’t?!” he snaps, barking at the innocent agent. The room falls silent, no one dares to speak up against Bucky’s raging anger. Fury steps forward and places a hand to the upset soldier’s shoulder as a soft warning to control himself. Bucky takes a deep breath before looking over at Fury, no longer determined to rip anyone apart who wants to argue with him.

“Let’s all calm down and see what we can do. Do you think she survived?” Fury simply questions him. Bucky taps on the panel and a map of the location pulls up on the big screen, showing a little red dot at the places where the team members were located last before the explosion.

“Her last location was far enough of it for her to survive,” he explains pointing at your dot.

“But if she moved just a little closer—“ Hill starts again, but she quickly silences herself when Bucky shoots her another warning look.

“I think she was captured. We can’t just assume that she is gone that easily,” he insists, refusing to even think about the possibility of you dying in that explosion. That’s just simply not an option for him.

Fury stares back at him hard, searching for something in his eyes before he finally nods.

“Alright, let’s get on the case. We need to find out where they could be possibly hiding her.”

Bucky breathes out in relief as the team gets down to work immediately. This is not the part he can help with, he sucks at technical things, so now he is left with just the painful wait until a lead pops up and he can come to your rescue.

The gym is eerily quiet without your bickering. He always trains with you and it’s been one of his favorite things to do. The two of you liked to race in everything and thought you both knew he was faster and stronger, he always let you win a few times, giving you the chance to tease him about being second after you.

But now as he is punching the heavy bag on his own, he wishes he could hear one of your snarky comments about his lopsided moves, because he still hasn’t entirely gotten used to the uneven strength in his hands.

“If she is really out there, I’m sure she is doing fine.”

Sam walks in, his steps echo in the empty room and though Bucky stops for a moment, he doesn’t look at him, just keeps punching the bag.

“She is tough, Bucky. She can take care of herself.”

“Not when she is outnumbered by a dozen,” he growls back. “I know she is tough, but sometimes that’s just not enough.”

For a long time Bucky thought Steve is the only person he can work with as partners, but he had to realize that he had a special bond with you through the tortures you both had to go through and sometimes he felt like you were the only one who understood him truly. Even though your brain wasn’t washed like his, you were close to it and it gave you a great understanding of what he had to go through.

But it wasn’t just about the trauma. As you grew closer to each other you easily became friends, really good ones for all that matters. Bucky loved spending time with you on and out of missions as well. He finds your humor a little dark but quite entertaining, he likes how you are more social than he is so whenever you need to work with someone else you always take the role of the communicator, building a bridge between him and others easily. He loves how much you care about others, how you show your appreciation for your loved ones in the tiny details as making breakfast or baking their favorite cookies. He loves the way you smile whenever he messes up something and you have to take care of it eventually, he loves the way you laugh at his lame, old jokes, he loves how you always fall asleep on horror movies and he loves…

He loves you.

For years he thought he would never feel this way again for anyone, because it’s so raw and human, he thought it was wiped out of him when he became the winter soldier, but you proved him wrong. And now he wishes he told you how he felt, because if you won’t return, he has to live his life knowing you never knew how much you meant to him.

Tossing and turning in his bed, he stays wide awake, not able to even close his eyes when he knows you are out there somewhere, because you have to be. He refuses to nurse the thought of you gone for even a second. You’re qualified, the best fighter he has ever met and he has this feeling in his gut that you made it out of there alive. Maybe you knew the explosion was about to happen. Maybe you ran the opposite way before it was too late. Or maybe you found shelter, or simply was just knocked out of the impact of it and they captured you.

So many possibilities that are way more better than the fatality of your death.

Kicking the silky sheets off his body, the ones he deep down hates because it’s way too smooth against his skin, something he still has a hard time to grow accustomed to, he pulls a hoodie over his head before creeping his way out of his bedroom, down the hallway until he reaches yours. He stands still at the door, a sense of anxiety washing over him as he thinks about what’s inside. Not that it’s the first time he is here, he has spent endless nights in your room, the two of you talking and laughing as you showed him your favorite movies he hasn’t seen. You often bought a big bag of snacks for your movie nights and the two of you sprawled across your comforter, your legs sometimes touching, or there was this one time when he let you braid his hair.

“You should come to missions like this,” he remembers your teasing as you ran your fingers through the neat braids running along his head.

“And give the boys another reason to tease me? No thank you,” he chuckled.

“Another? What do they tease you about?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows as you popped a gummybear into your mouth.

You. It was you they teased him about and how obvious his feelings for you are. Seemingly everyone saw how you looked at each other but you and him.

He twists the silver doorknob before pushing the door open, part of him hoping to see you curled up under the sheets, snoring lightly and peacefully, but the room is terribly empty without your presence.

Everything is just the way you left them. The abandoned workout clothes hanging from the edge of the hamper, your running shoes under the window, your journal lying on your nightstand with a pen on top and his favorite… a framed picture of you and him on your bookshelf with all your favorite romantic novels stacked neatly on the shelves.

Bucky steps closer, his hands hidden in the pooch of his hoodie as he stares at the photo. It was taken a few days after the two of you returned from Wakanda, Bucky was finally free from the winter soldier and it was probably the best few days of his life. The two of you decided to take a trip to London before returning to your duty, a place you always wanted to see, but never really got the chance. It was just the two of you, taking some time away from the avengers, SHIELD, all the bad in the world, pretending like you’re two normal people for just a weekend before returning to your duties in New York. The photo was taken when you returned from the getaway, Steve took it in the gym, the two of you sat at the edge of the boxing ring after a killer fight. It was a simple moment, his arm stretched behind you as you leant against his side. The glow from your alone time was still apparent on your faces, neither of you felt happier in life before, or not at least in the last decade.

His vision blurs as he runs a finger through the frame, a sharp pain stabbing in his chest as he watches your bright smile and rosy cheeks. He never thought he would feel this way about anyone, not after everything he went through, but you proved him wrong. You showed him how much more human he still is that what he thinks of himself and you might not even have realized it.

Too restless to go back to sleep, Bucky storms out of your room, carefully closing the door behind him before going down to Tony’s office, determined to make himself useful. He can’t just sit around and wait, he needs to feel like he is doing everything he can.

When the first rays of the sun shine above the horizon and the first agents arrive for their shifts, He has already gone through an immense amount of security tapes from all around the world that had even the slightest match through the face recognition system with yours. None of them turned out to be real, but he never gave up.

“Barnes, were you here all night?” Tony asks in awe when he finds the long-haired avenger with his eyes glued to one of the screens, watching yet another tape.

“Not all night, but… for the majority, yes,” he nods without even sparing Tony a look.

Any other day Tony would tease him for maybe finally doing something useful, or not only using his fist in a case, but not today. Everyone on the team knows how much you mean to him and how hard it is to not know where you are. So he just nods, places his coffee down to the desk and gets down to work without a word.

Soon enough the rest of the team joins them and everyone is working together to find even the slightest lead. Every other minor case is put aside, you are their priority.

The more time passes by without anything found, Bucky feels like a part of him is dying more and more. Hopelessness and fear is taking over his already messed up mine, but he is still holding onto the light and that small little feeling in his gut that you are still out there somewhere. And then they find a lead.

“We’ve got a match!” Nat beams from behind her screen and everyone gathers around her as a series of blurry photos play in front of them, showing a group of men carrying a clearly unconscious person to a minivan before driving away. The quality is definitely not the best, your face is also half covered by your hair, but your uniform gives you away. It really is you.

“Where and when was this taken?” Bucky asks in a hurry.

“Last night, outside of Krakow. We have one last coordinate for the van,” Nat informs the group as she brings up a map, a red dot signaling the last spotting of the same van.

“There’s a closed off military based near,” Steve chimes in, pointing at the map a few miles away from where the pictures were taken.

“Alright, suit up everyone. Guess we are going to Poland,” Tony announces and a moment later everyone is running off to get ready for takeoff.

The ground doesn’t feel that bad anymore. It’s wet and there’s gravel here and there, the coldness is not too comfortable either, but you are getting used to it. Probably because it makes you feel things and that’s important to you now. In times when you often lose contact with your own body and mind, feelings keep you grounded and they remind you of who you are.

Last night you finally found out who caught you and it wasn’t a pleasant surprise. Aziel Nowak is a name you’ve already heard before, but not in the best way. The guy is totally crazy and if that’s not enough, he is kind of a genius as well. These two never sit well with each other and you knew it was just a matter of time before you had to face him, but you didn’t think these would be the circumstances.

Nowak’s father, Aleksander was a well-known scientist in the circles of HYDRA, he was one of the assholes responsible for wiping Bucky’s head, unfortunately, his own creation brought his death upon him. Bucky killed him during a raid, all while Aleksander was trying to trigger him, but Bucky was faster than him and shoot him in the head before he could get the second trigger word out. Aziel swore to seek revenge for his father’s death and made it clear that his big plan is to take out every avenger one by one, but all during completely destroying Bucky in every possible way.

Stuck in a clear tube, one that was built specially for super soldiers, you stood in his lab as he got everything ready for his master plan with you.

“The winter soldier was full of flaws,” he started to explain to you, working behind his computer while you couldn’t do anything to stop the madness. Even if you could break out of the tube, you were terribly outnumbered with the hoard of guards in the room, all of them armed and ready to rip you apart. It would have been a suicidal mission.

“The trigger words take a lot of time to enlist and sometimes, we just don’t have time for that. We need our soldier instantly, in a push of a button, if I might add,” he smirked and you almost gagged. He was a lowlife, disgusting middle-aged man, completely out of touch of reality, wrapped up in his own head with his ridiculous misconceptions and twisted view of the world.

“But fear no more, I have a better solution,” he grinned at you, holding up a tiny chip between his fingers and your jaw flexed. You didn’t know what it was, but you had guesses. “Spent years working on this little thing and now I can finally test it out and you get to be the lucky one to do it. Start the gas,” he ordered and a moment later some kind of gas started to fill the tube up. Your pathetic attempt to escape was cut off shortly when you felt your whole body freeze as you inhaled the gas. You just stood there, completely no control over your own body. The back of the tube opened with a hiss once the gas cleared out from around you and you felt a sharp stabbing at the back of your neck. You couldn’t even gasp, you were as frozen as a statue, unable to defend yourself and you truly felt like it’s the end. You wish it was though.

Nowak implanted the chip into your spine and you could feel the wires cling into your nerves, melting into your body like a parasite. A single tear rolled down your cheek as your wound was closed off.

“This is going to be so much fun,” Nowak smirked when he walked into your sight again. He had a control panel in his hands and as he pushed some buttons electricity bolted through your whole body and you completely lost control over your actions. Your body moved without your consent, arms and legs acting without your brain actually telling them.

You became a prisoner in your own body.

The night was spent fighting with Nowak’s best guards as he tested out his new toy: you. He could control your whole body thanks to the chip and while you were screaming and shouting in your head, there was no escape. He made you into his ragdoll and there was nothing you could do against it.

He switched the chip off when you were thrown back into the cell. You sobbed for hours probably as you tried to get the thing out of yourself, blood was dripping down your back, but you had to accept that it was too deep, clinging onto your spine, you couldn’t get it out with your bare hands.

Now you are lying on the floor and try to remember who you are, because you’ve been feeling like you lost touch with your true self. The only thing that has been helping is remembering your favorite memories.

It makes your heart flutter when you realize that most of them have Bucky in them. Your most favorite? The time you spent in London. Those days are the closest and dearest to your heart and now you just wish you could go back in time for even just an hour. Strolling down the streets like any other tourists without a worry in the world, watching the city lay in front of you as you ride the London Eye or walking along the River Thames. You felt so normal, so happy, sharing your time with the man you probably love the most in the whole wide world.

“I could live here,” you sighed when the Big Ben came into view above the brick buildings.

“It rains too much here,” Bucky furrowed his eyebrows at you, his arm brushing against yours.

“I like the rain. Love the smell of it, love how refreshing it feels after it,” you chuckled.

“And what would you want to do here?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “Maybe I would work at a library. Or a café!”

“You want to be a barista!” He chuckled, smirking down on you. “Is this why you wanted Tony to get a fancy espresso machine?”

“Well, not just because of this, I just really like good coffee,” you smiled up at him. “What, do you not like my coffee?”

“Oh, I do. You make the best in the tower,” he nodded.

You could always talk about anything and everything with him. He understood you so well and you liked to think it worked the other way as well. That you were just as important to him as he was to you.

“Bucky.” His name falls from your lips like a desperate plea, as if you could summon him and he’d be here any moment to rescue you. But nothing changes and you are still on your own.

You’ve been wondering if this is how he felt when they made him to be the winter soldier. If he went through the same struggle or if it was worse. He said he doesn’t remember everything he did, as if sometimes he just completely disappeared in his own head, but other times live vividly in his memories.

You remember everything too. The chip has no control over your mind and thoughts, it works as another brain that takes over control in your body, caging your mind in your own head while it works your body.

A siren rings through the building and you gasp, your head snapping in the direction of the metal door. You hear orders in a foreign language and running footsteps somewhere down the hallway. Pushing yourself up you move to the far end of the room as you hear someone approaching your cell. Before the lock clicks on the door, you feel the familiar electricity run through your body and you breathe out before you lose control over your body again. You stand up, not because you want to, but because this is what they ordered. The door swings open and Nowak walks in.

“Guess your little friends figured out where you are. It’s time to show them my masterpiece.”

The military base is pretty lively for a closed off one. As the team is approaching the complex they inspect the possibilities they have to get inside.

“Alright, we have to be smart about this. Nowak is a psychopath,” Tony announces when the quinjet is nearing the base. “Barron and Natasha, we need a diversion. Banner, you stay here and only come in if it’s needed,” he starts and everyone nods along. “Wanda, the same goes for you as well. Listen to the call word and be ready to interfere. Sam and I are going to clear the main building, try to find Nowak. Barnes, Cap, you are tracking Y/N down. Everything clear?”

“As daylight,” Steve nods as he grabs his shield from the side.

Once the quinjet touches down, everyone goes their own way, going along the plan they discussed. Nat and Clint do well with the diversion, a great amount of guards and soldiers are drawn in their way as Tony and Sam make their way into the main building of the base.

“Where should we look, Buck?” Steve asks his friend as they hide behind one of the quarters. Bucky looks around, inspects the place and nods towards a building that’s clearly powered with a lot more electricity for whatever reason, Thick cables running inside, snaking under the doors, pouring extra power inside. Steve nods and once the way is somewhat cleared out, they head inside.

They take down the few HYDRA agents that try to get in their way as they run further into the building without even breaking a sweat. They easily reach the lab and it almost feels way too easy.

“Something is not right,” Steve says as the two of them walk into the empty lab, curious inspecting all the machines and equipment they have absolutely no idea how to work.

Bucky’s eyes fall on the tube in the far corner of the room and walking closer he gets an eerie feeling and he can already picture you trapped inside, the thought making his stomach churn.

“Anyone found Nowak yet?” Steve asks through the com.

“Negative,” Nat grunts back in the middle of her own fight.

“Haven’t seen the fucker either,” Tony answers and Steve sighs.

Just as Bucky is about to head to the door that leads out of the lab at the other end from where they entered, the sliding door opens and they both get ready to fight whatever is about to come into sight. But neither of them were expecting you to walk out.

“Y/N?!” your name falls from Steve’s lips as he lets his shield down, staring back at you confused. But you don’t answer, just stop a few feet away from them, staring blankly ahead of you and Bucky swears he was on the verge of fainting from his anger, because he knew those eyes all too well, because he used to see them in the mirror.

“Y/N, what did they do?” he whispers desperately, a hand reaching out to you, but it’s quickly cut off when you grab his hand and easily throw him over, his back contacting the floor with a painful thump.

Hell breaks loose fast as you start fighting them off, using the advantage of their shock upon seeing you, working against them while they try to make you remember them.

“Y/N, it’s us! We don’t want to hurt you!” Steve growls when he saves himself from one of your hits, his shield coming between the two of you.

I know! I know it’s you, but I can’t do anything! You scream in your own head, unable to even form the words. You’re a prisoner in this body you thought to be yours, but it betrayed you.

You never fought both of them before at the same time, but now that it’s happening, you’re surprisingly good at it, handling two super soldiers at the same time when one of them has a vibranium arm while the other one keeps throwing a vibranium shield at you, though it’s clear they aren’t giving their best, afraid of hurting you even though you’re in killer mode right now and determined to rip them apart.

“Do you think they did the same to her as they did to you?” Steve asks out of breath when you throw them against a wall and return to fight Bucky.

“It’s something else. Look at the back of her neck!” he growls when you throw a punch in his way that he catches with his metal arm, holding your fist tight as you keep pushing it and this moment of pause allows Steve to take a look at you from the back.

“Oh shit,” he breathes out.

Yes! Take this shit out and I’m free! You scream, but no one hears. Your fist frees from Bucky’s grip and you kick him in the stomach so hard he snaps against the desk behind him and wasting no time you jump right at him, the fight continues.

“If anyone finds Nowak, don’t kill him. We’ve got Y/N and she is being controlled by something,” Steve explains through his earpiece before throwing his shield in your direction right when you’re about to attach your hands to Bucky’s neck. It hits you in the side and you fall to the ground grunting.

“Don’t fucking hurt her!” Bucky growls at him, but Steve gives him a look.

“She is trying to kill us, we have to do something!”

You’re on your feet fast, already charging at Steve and it catches him by surprise, he stumbles back as your knee collides with his stomach, a punch thrown at his pretty face.

“I see Nowak!” Tony’s voice comes through the earpieces, but they don’t have the chance to celebrate, because you’re kicking their ass big time.

When you want to launch yourself at Steve again, Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist from behind and he pulls back, pushing you away, making you stumble, but you’re back on your feet quickly. Your eyes meet and you want to touch him so badly, run into his arms, tell him how happy you are to see him and that he was the only thing that kept you sane, but instead, you throw yourself at him, fist colliding with the side of his head.

I’m so sorry, Buck!

“We’ve got Nowak!” Tony announces and Steve sighs in relief.

“Does he have something like a remote or controller?” he asks while you and Bucky are at each other’s throat. You throw him to a desk and drag him across it, papers and equipment flying everywhere before he ends up on the floor groaning. You have the perfect chance to throw a punch in again, but you turn around and run back towards the door you came through.

“He has a controlling panel, do you think it’s connected to Y/N?” Tony asks.

“Very much likely, but please hurry up, she is trying to run away!” Steve begs as they both start to chase after you in the labyrinth of hallways. You’re footsteps are echoing on the checkered floors as they are trying to catch up with you. You take a left turn and get out of their vision just for a split second. As they get around the corner they immediately freeze when they find you standing there, a gun pointing right at Bucky’s head, a deadly, but still rather blank expression in your eyes.

“Shit,” Steve breathes out.

“Y/N, I know you are in there,” Bucky speaks up.

Yes! I’m here! I’m here Bucky!

“The controller is locked, but we are working on it,” Tony announces through the com, but it doesn’t help their situation right now. If he can’t unlock the controller, you are likely to shoot them both if they don’t do something. As you stare back at your two friends, you are using everything in you to try to get back the control over your own body, but it’s like you’re just silently screaming in an empty, locked room.

“I know you hear me. Please, try to fight it off. I know how hard it is, but if anyone can do it, it’s you,” Bucky continues and if only you were in charge of yourself, you’d already be sobbing at the broken expression he is staring back at you with. Your finger is on the trigger and you can feel your muscles trembling.

“Buck, we need to disarm her,” Steve tells him, but he shakes his head.

“No. We can’t do that without hurting her and I’m not doing that.”

Oh Bucky! That’s the only way now!

“She is gonna shoot, Bucky. We have to do something!”

“She could have already fired. She is fighting it off, I know it.”

“Or maybe it’s just whatever it is inside her messing with her head as Tony is trying to break the controller.”

“Y/N, sweetheart, I know you can do this. I’m not gonna hurt you, you can fight it!” Bucky continues, ignoring Steve’s words, who stands behind him with his jaw flexed.

I can’t do it, you need to knock me out! I’m not strong enough to do it!

You are trying everything you can and you are already holding your finger back, you would have already pulled the trigger if it wasn’t for your resistance somewhere in this cage. But you just know you’re not strong enough to stop yourself forever, they will need to disarm you, there’s no choice.

You stare back at Bucky, his forehead and left cheek bloody from wounds you gave him and he probably has a few bruises under his leather jacket as well, all because of you. Nowak made you hurt the person you love the most and now his life is being threatened. You know he won’t fight you, he will not try to disarm you, he would rather take the bullet than cause pain to you, more than what he already did during your fight.

The gun trembles in your hand as you’re desperately trying to gain your control back, sweat beading on your forehead, your chest heaving.

“Stark, we are running out of time!” Steve warns him through the com.

“Just one more second!” he answers, but you’re afraid you don’t have that much time.

“Y/N, please!” Bucky begs, a single tear rolling down his cheek and you can feel your own heart breaking at the sight of him. You can’t believe it’s because of you, you are causing him pain when you swore to work to see him his happiest in his life.

Your jaw flexes and you are on the verge of breaking, the tiniest light flashing in front of you as you keep pushing, trying to take back control, but then you feel like losing again. It all happens so fast, you can barely process.

You know you’re about to pull the trigger, you can’t stop yourself, but just as you are about to do it, Tony’s voice rings through the com.

“We got it!”

In a blink of the eye, the invisible grip that’s been keeping you tight vanishes, the cage opens up and suddenly you feel yourself come alive again as the most painful, deafening and desperate scream rips from your throat, the gun falling from your grip before you collapse on the ground in complete shock of everything that went down.

“Get it out! Get it out! I can’t do this!” you scream, your nails scratching the back of your neck once again, trying to reach the chip, but you’re just breaking your own skin once again, blood dripping down your back.

“Hey, it’s alright, sweetheart. We got you. You’re gonna be fine!” Bucky falls to his knees, cradling you into his arms as you sob into his hard chest, hands gripping the fabric of his jacket tight as your salty tears soak your cheeks, your whole body shaking.

“I’m so sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” you repeat, shaking your head as if you were trying to get rid of the memories, but they are still there, you still know what it’s like to be a prisoner in your own head but at least now you are with Bucky and that brings you the peace of mind you’ve been seeking all along.

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s alright. You’ll be alright, sweetheart, you’re safe with me now,” he murmurs into your hair, his arms holding you so tight it’s starting to get hard to even breathe, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You cling onto him as if your life depends on it and in a way, it really does. Bucky gathers you into his arms as you keep mumbling your apologies and begs to make it stop even though you are not being controlled any longer. He carries you to the quinjet as he keeps murmuring reassuring words into your ear, telling you that everything is going to be alright now. You are in good hands.

You don’t let go of him on the way back and he doesn’t seem to want to do it either. Curled up on his lap, you let yourself fall into a shallow slumber as his fingers are dancing up and down your back, keeping you close to his chest, the feeling of finally being home taking over your senses.

Arriving back to New York you are helped off the jet by Bucky or course as he walks you to the med bay where Dr. Cho is already waiting for your arrival.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. We’ll fix you up,” she smiles at you as you are expected to let go of Bucky, but your head snaps back in his direction in panic, hands grabbing onto his anxiously.

“It’s alright, I’ll be here waiting for you. My stupid face will be the first thing you see when you wake up,” he jokes, his tired eyes fixated on you as you hesitate to let go of him, but eventually do it.

Keeping his promise Bucky stay outside as long as you are under Helen’s hands, not able to even drag him away to change clothes. The only thing he can make himself is dragging his ass to the nearest restroom to at least wash the dried blood off his face, but he quickly returns to his previous spot.

It turns out removing the chip is a bit more complicated than anyone thought. The micro wires are so deep in your nerves, Dr. Cho has to be careful if he doesn’t want to paralyze you with just one wrong move. Five entire hours pass by before the chip is finally out of you, before they place you in one of the rooms until you wake up from the anesthesia. Bucky is right by your side, holding your hand soothingly as he waits for you to open your eyes again. When he sees your eyelashes fluttering, he holds his breath as your eyes open and you adjust to the light and the view around you.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” he softly asks, gently brushing a strand of hair out of your forehead.

“Like… I just fought against two super soldiers,” you breathe out in a joking manner that makes him chuckle. You’re back and he missed you more than he could ever express.

As you let out a long and heave breath, you feel everything coming back to you and you can’t stop your sobs and the tears falling from your eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky,” you gasp and he is quick to leap forward, one hand holding yours while the other one cups your cheek as he makes you turn your head towards him.

“No, no, no. You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N. You did everything you could, you fought it so well!”

“But I hurt you! I didn’t want to hurt you, I was screaming inside my head, but I just couldn’t stop!” you sob shaking your head.

“I know, it wasn’t your fault! Please don’t think for a moment anyone blames you!” he begs, his bright blue eyes glued to your pained face as you fight your tears back. A hand moves to the back of your neck, feeling the wound where the chip used to be.

“Is it gone?” you ask in a whisper.

“It is. Helen took good care of you. You’re free now,” he smiles and you feel a wave of relief washing over you right away. Your body is yours again, finally.

“I didn’t think I would be myself again,” you admit, your voice slightly shaking. Bucky’s heart breaks at your words, but remains silent as you carry on. “I kept thinking of memories that feel the closest to me and it was the only thing that kept me sane. And I realized that the dearest ones are all with you, Bucky.”

His lips part at your revelation as his heart is beating fast against his ribcage. He has been waiting for this moment to come for what feels like eternity and now it might become his reality.

“When I thought I would never be the same again, I just thought about… you. That I don’t get to see you again, when I always wanted to spend all my days with you, Buck.”

“I want to spend all my days with you too, sweetheart,” he breathes out, leaning closer until his face is only inches away from yours. “I hated the thought of you being gone without ever telling you how I feel.”

“How do you feel, Bucky?” you ask in a trembling voice.

“You are my everything, Y/N. You are my best friend and everything beyond and I was such a fool for not telling you before this, but the thought of losing you made me realize that I have to stop being a coward,” he chuckles with tears bubbling in his eyes. You reach out and cup his face in your palms, your thumb running along the dark circles under his eyes and you wonder if he even slept a moment since you’ve been gone.

“We were both idiots, don’t beat yourself,” you chuckle softly, making his mouth turns into a grin before he leans closer and his lips finally press against yours, capturing them in a sweet, so-good-to-have-you-back kiss you’ve been dreaming about for probably way too long but at least since London. It’s soft and gentle, filled with the promise of many more to come. Thought you’re trying to stretch it as long as possible, a cough is heard from the door and you both pull back, turning your attention at the rest of the team standing there, all of them happy to see you again, or maybe to see the two of you finally taking the step they’ve been waiting for to happen.

“I guess you are feeling better now, yeah?” Nat smirks as she walks further inside, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Much better,” you admit with a shy chuckle. “Thank you for the rescuing, guys.”

“It’s the least we could do,” Sam smirks at you.

“And Barnes would have gone nuts if we didn’t find you so that was also quite motivating,” Tony jokes nodding towards the man by your side, who is still holding your hand as if you could disappear any moment.

“Steve, I’m sorry for trying to hurt you,” you breathe out at the sight of the tall blonde man, but he just shrugs with a warm smile.

“It’s alright. At least now we know that you could easily kick our ass at the same time,” he jokes nodding towards Bucky, though you all know they were holding back, not wanting to hurt you. You still remember the look in Bucky’s eyes when you held him at gunpoint. He could have easily disarmed you but it would have cost you at least a broken arm, yet he refused to lay a hand on you and believed that you could control yourself again.

When the team is gone and it’s just the two of you again in the room, Bucky sits at the edge of your bed, his fingers playing with your hand over the white sheets as you let yourself fall into the sense of safety again.

“You should have disarmed me, Bucky,” you tell him, breaking the silence.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I could have killed you,” you retort.

“I know,” he nods, his lips pressing into a thin line. “But I just couldn’t cause you any more pain.”

“The fact that I was hurting you was already a pain, Bucky. You should have just knock me out.”

“Would you ever do the same to me?” he questions and though you open your lips to answer, you realize that he is right. You would have never hurt him on purpose, not even if he was back at being the winter soldier. You could have never hurt your sweet Bucky, the man that means more than anything ever in your torturous life.

“See? How do you expect me to do it then?” he smiles softly. “But it doesn’t matter, you are free now. It’s all in the past.”

“It still broke my heart, seeing you like that.”

“I can only say the same,” he breathes out, his eyes softening on you. “I wanted to help you so bad, but I couldn’t…”

“You helped me a lot,” you smile at him, brushing a few loose strands of hair out of his forehead. He smiles back at you and through his ocean eyes are still looking tired and a little bloodshot, but there’s a tiny little glimmer in them, something you’ve seen before, it was the most apparent when Shuri was successful at ridding him from the winter soldier and you also saw it in London. You’ve been seeking this little shine for a long time and you’re happy to have it back.

“We should go on a vacation,” he suggests, his smile growing wider with each passing second.

“Oh, I didn’t know avengers had vacation days,” you tease him.

“They do, as much as they want,” he nods grinning. “Where would you want to go? Do you want to go back to London?” he questions as he brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your bruised knuckles.

“Mm, we should go somewhere new,” you purse your lips. “I’ve always wanted to see Amsterdam.”

“Then Amsterdam it is,” he chuckles before leaning closer he kisses your lips gently with a promise of a bright future together.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#kas9kwc #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes

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dabilove27 · 3 years

Text

How Far We've Come

Paring: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: Angst, Character Death, Smut (female-receiving oral), A Cocky Dabi, Cussing, A lot of Pet Names

Word Count: 7.8K

A/N: This is my contribution to the Smut Pile Apocalypse Collab! If you have the time check out some of the other amazing pieces! Everyone has worked so hard to make some beautiful fics!

Thank you so much to my wife @lady-lunaaa for reading, encouraging, brainstorming, and helping me the whole way from start to finish. I have said it before but I will say it again. You are absolutely amazing and this fic wouldn't exist without you! 💜 Also thank you @/deathcab4daddy (not sure if you want to be tagged) for taking the time to read through and for your advice!

You've seen all those movies, the decaying zombie hoards, the massive explosions that wipe out nations, or an unexpected illness that mysteriously kills off the population. But you had never really expected for any of those apocalyptic things to become true in your own world. They were just fiction, never something that could actually occur. Yet here you are faced with the reality of a hoard of rotting zombies. Like you have been thrown into one of the many movies or TV shows yourself.

People aren't even sure how it happened, especially in a world full of quirks where this should be somewhat controlled, right? Wrong, whatever caused this zombie apocalypse also seemed to nullify quirks over time. There was so much speculation whether it came into the water supply or passed through the air. But none of that really seems to matter anymore when you are fighting for your life every day.

And as the mass of decaying, walking corpses steps closer and closer to you, it seems like your end is near too. The smell of organs exposed to the air and sun stink up the room. You can see the blank, milky white eyes of the undead that somehow can still find you even though they can't really see. You've had a partner, at least—the man who has stood with you during this entire shit show.

He stands close to you, a single rusted knife covered in stagnant blood, not nearly enough even combined with whatever you could find for fighting off the seemingly endless mindless bodies coming your way. He's covered in burn scars and rusted staples that pull at his healthy skin. People used to jab at him for looking like the walking dead before all this went down. His firepower from before would have solved this problem in an instant. This rotting mob wouldn't have stood a chance.

But instead, it looks like it's the conclusion for the two of you. Memories flash through your mind. A memory of escaping the daily struggle of your mundane life by sharing take-out on your old couch. Or how his kisses always felt like burning flames against your lips. Your regular life consisted of trying to numb the pain of the past with alcohol or working endless hours. Even though you didn’t have a traditional relationship where you could go on public dates, being in a relationship with a well-known villain was worlds better than this. But if you were going to die, at least it was together. Solidarity in times like this seems to help the never-ending dread that the Reaper looming around every corner ready to take you. Every moment in this new hell had you wished you had more time to develop your romance with him instead of the tragedy that was about to befall you. You wished you had more time with this romance and that it wouldn't end in tragedy. It's hard to believe that there was ever a time when you couldn't stand this man, but even now, that's a fond memory for you. You would give anything to return to that old bar where the two of you met and relive all of these memories.

It really isn't a surprise that you met Dabi in a dark, run-down bar near Kamino. No, not the "bar" run by Kurogiri; everyone who lived in this area knew that it was just a setup. This bar is a tiny little hole in the wall with paint chipping off the walls and where the seats were hardly held together anymore, but that didn't really matter to people who lived in this area. You didn't come to this bar for a luxury experience.

The main reason people came to this bar was its location. It sat deep in a seedy area which meant no police patrolling nearby so you wouldn’t need to look over your shoulder constantly. Plus, the cheap liquor was enticing enough.

Every Friday night, you were perched on one of the worn-out bar stools as you nursed your gin and tonic. This was your place to unwind after another hellish week of your mundane job. It was still early enough in the evening that the bar wasn't thoroughly packed with bodies trying to get their drink. The music was still soft, later it would blare whatever song was currently sitting at the top of the Billboard charts. You were able to turn your brain off and listen to other patrons' mindless chatter in the background. You could just sip your drink, maybe take a shot or two if you felt like, and then head home to pass out.

You relished this little getaway, an oasis in the slums that made up your small world. The bartender and regular patrons didn't bother you, so you could have your own peace. But your Eden got interrupted by a cocky, fire-wielding asshole who had set his sights on you.

You didn't stir when said asshole plopped himself down in the barstool next to you with a thump. It wasn't until the jerk actually spoke to you that you were brought out of your mindless daydreaming.

"Hey, pretty girl, what are you doing in a place like this?" He said with a smooth tone. You didn't even have to look at him to know he had an arrogant smirk plastered on his face.

Who the fuck does this asshole think he is? The irritated thought instantly pops into your head. Anyone who frequented this bar knew you were from around here. You weren't some soft, delicate flower that wasn't supposed to be "on this side of town." Preparing yourself by putting on your best "I'm not interested face," you maneuvered your body to face him, ready to tell him off.

Your words caught in your throat as your eyes met his two endless pools of cerulean. Your gaze shifted to take in the burnt skin clinging onto the shining staples that were rooted in his healthy skin. A familiar black coat spread across his frame that was even more recognizable than those eyes, and the patronizing smile that you wanted to slap off his face. As much as you wanted to throw up your middle finger at him and tell him off, you knew who this was. Hell, everyone knew who this was.

The League of Villains didn't necessarily keep quiet around here. They didn't have to. This is the area where they recruited people to join them. You didn't just flick off and ignore a LOV member. Especially the infamous Dabi, who wasn't really known for his kindness or compassion. More for his ability to burn anyone who defied The League to a crumbling crisp.

But still, who did this asshole think he is? Waltzing in here like he owned it and saddling down into your escape from the world only to tell you that you don't look like you should be here? Fuck that nonsense, League member or not.

You swallow down a bit of the initial anger as your eyes narrow into a glare at the cocky asshole. "Thanks but no thanks, I'm not interested in being involved with the League. So if you don't mind going somewhere else to scout, that would be great." You try to say without a tremble in your voice as you wave your hand in a "shoo" motion.

You aren't sure what you expect Dabi to do next., burn down the whole bar you included? Tell you that you have no choice but to join, and you're coming with him? Rip you out of your seat and reprimand you for disrespecting The League? But instead, none of those things happen. Instead, he does something you don't expect, and his grin grows a little wider as the staples begin to pull more at his healthy flesh.

You can feel your anxiety rising. Get out, get out, get out, this asshole will kill you, leave NOW, your mind is practically sending off every warning signal it can.

Your chest tightens when Dabi lets out a low chuckle. "Oh no, sweetheart, you've got it all wrong." He says with a dark tone. "I'm not recruiting you for work. My interest in you is personal." Dabi points at you and then at himself and finishes with an infuriating smirk that seems to be mocking you. He's moved his hand and placed it on your forearm that was resting on the smooth bar top.

A shiver runs through you as the mismatched textures of his skin and the cool metal of the staples. You feel your anger bubbling up again. How dare this jerk think that you will just fall for him like a desperate fangirl. You are livid at this point, frustration coursing through your veins, fuck the niceties and preservation. He needed to be put in his place.

"I know you think you are some big shot because The League is doing so well right now but fuck off asshole. I'm not a League groupie that will just kneel down and suck your dick just because you want it." You spit out at him while shrugging off his hand and moving your body to face the way you were initially sitting. Grasping your drink and lifting it to your lips, you try and down what was left so you could leave immediately, any extra moment around Dabi was a moment you didn't want to have.

You were sure Dabi would have given up or at least killed you by now. You can't imagine that he is used to being rejected by women. He's handsome in a way that doesn't fit with the norm. He fills in that bad boy check-list like it's his job, which it practically is given his profession. Again though, Dabi surprises you with his response. He doesn't yell, he doesn't use his quirk, and he doesn't kill you. He lets out another dark chuckle like he's enjoying this and continues the conversation you had tried to cut off.

"I didn't say anything about sucking dick, but if you're offering, who am I to turn down a gift?" That smooth tone is back as he moves his hand to your hair and runs it through his fingers.

Bewilderment overcomes you, and you can't even stop yourself before you are turned towards him again, glass in your hand, ready to throw what's left of your drink on him.

As if he anticipated the response, Dabi moves quickly and grabs your wrist in a tight grip. "Now, why would you want to waste what you have left, doll? That's not a very smart choice." His grip tightens a little more around your wrist, and you can feel the staples begin to dig into your skin as he lets out a deep chuckle. He moves your hand back down to the bar but doesn't let go even after your glass has left your hand. "There we go, good girl. Now let's talk just a bit." He says sweetly, loosening his grip just a bit, but not enough for you to move your hand.

If looks could kill, Dabi would have died a cruel death by now. You are seething at this point. But instead, you're stuck there as he continues to do whatever it is that he’s trying to accomplish. "What were you drinking? I'll buy you another one and then leave, okay doll?" He says playfully and with a cunning grin on his face as you mumble out your drink order. You just want him to leave, and you really hope he plans on keeping his word.

Dabi motions for the bartender's attention, gives your drink order and plops a few bills on the bartop. He still hasn't let go of your wrist, and each and every moment he is even touching you, you can feel your annoyance continuing to build. You want to ask him if he's done yet and will kindly get the fuck out, but you have a sneaking suspicion that he likes the cat and mouse game, which would just lengthen the amount of time he sticks around.

The bartender finally delivers your drink, and it takes everything in you not to rip your wrist out of his grasp and grab the new glass to pour over Dabi's head. "Okay, one last question, and then I'll leave." He drawls out as you put all your focus into the condensation forming on your glass. You stay silent, waiting for his stupid question so you can move on and never see him again. Dabi continues with that condesending tone that is starting to cause your head to ache, "How often do you come here? I'd love to see you again."

Your heartbeat picks up, and little shots of adrenaline start to flow through you as you contemplate how to respond. Of course, you don't want this asshole to know when you come here. This is your escape from the world. You never want to even see Dabi again, but something from this interaction tells you Dabi isn't going to give up easily. So you tell him your regular time that you show up at the bar every Friday.

Dabi squeezes your wrist a little bit before letting out another "Good girl, sounds like a date. I'll see you then." You never want him to know how those few words send a shiver down your spine. He saunters out of the bar without having a single drink himself. Patrons stare dumbfounded between you and the doorway that Dabi just exited, trying to comprehend what just happened.

You let out an exasperated sigh before leaning your head down into your folded arms. The bar top isn't necessarily the cleanest of places to lay your head, but it’s pounding and racing with thoughts, and you can't really bring yourself to care right now. You try to formulate a plan so you won't ever see him. You'll just move your regular day to Saturday instead of Fridays. But then that stubborn anger flares inside of you again, and you sit up straight, glancing at your newly unwanted drink as the ice slowly melts, lifting the remaining liquid in the cup. No, I'm not going to let that asshole ruin my spot for me. He can come around here every Friday, but I'll turn that jerk down a million times. You think a little smugly to yourself. We will see how the big bad Dabi feels being turned down over and over. Maybe that will sting his ego.

And so you and Dabi play this game of cat and mouse. He comes every Friday when you are there without fail, buying you a drink, chatting to you with sentences filled with pet names, and planning another "date" each time. And every time you tell him you aren't interested or to go away, or really anything to try and get that stupid fucking smirk off his face. But it always remains cemented there as he watches you get fired up. And what you don't realize is the two of you are getting to know each other. Dabi adds in little questions, "what's your favorite food, least favorite, what do you do for work?" And the questions go on and on. You don't realize your walls coming down as the two of you find similarities in each other. And if there is one thing anyone who sees these frequent interactions between the two of you can say, it is that Dabi is determined.

You are so used to Dabi's Friday visits that they don't bring headaches anymore, and you realize something more has developed when he doesn't show up one week. A mixture of feelings rests in you, anxiety, confusion, anger. You wonder if he's okay, or has he finally given up. And then anger if he has. You don't want to admit it, but you miss his company, and you don't even have a number to reach out to him. You feel a sense of loss in your chest. How could he just give up? He's been trying for months! You think as tears begin to sting for a moment in your eyes.

You leave the bar that night not feeling uplifted or relaxed but sad and angry. And you aren't necessarily looking forward to returning the week after, but you do come back to your regular spot and hope Dabi will show. Your heart almost stops in your chest when you see him walk through the entrance of the bar, and before you can contain the words, they tumble out in a frantic sound, "where were you last week?" You are standing in front of him now, looking up at that little grin he always has on his face whenever you get annoyed with him. You cross your arms over your chest and exclaim, "Well? I'm waiting."

"Aw, did you miss me, baby girl?" His poker face never falls, but his grin grows a tiny bit wider as he stares into your fiery eyes. And without warning, he wraps one of his long arms around you, pulling you into a tight side hug.

A small eep escapes you at the movement, and you move to push him off. "What the hell are you doing? Answer my question, you jerk!" You practically yell as you push away from him. He doesn't let go and just pulls you tighter to him, and you find yourself not struggling anymore as you take in the weathered texture of his coat pressed against your arm and the smell of cigarettes on him. You feel your walls starting to fall entirely, "I was really concerned about you." You let out in a whisper, not really wanting to admit it to him, but you weren't sure how you would feel if something like this happened again.

"Aw, babe, you did miss me." The delight in his voice makes you shiver a little. He gestures you over to your regular spot at the bar, and the two of you sit down in the weathered chairs. He puts a calloused finger under your chin to bring your gaze to his. You stare into his cerulean depths that you used to hate and find yourself softening a bit. "I had to do something for The League, but I don't have your number, love. So I couldn't call and let you know I wouldn't make our date." His face relaxes a bit as he watches your frown turn into a bit of pout.

"Okay, well fine, I'll give you my number. But don't just text me randomly, okay?" You huff as you lay your palm flat and motion for his phone. Dabi chuckles and shakes his head before handing you the phone without another word. Lifting the phone, you type your number into the cracked screen and hand it back to him. "Okay, now text me, so I have yours. " You say, moving to grab your phone to wait for his upcoming text.

"Hmmm, I don't think so, doll," Dabi says, taking in your furrowed brow and then relishing in the way you roll your eyes at his taunting.

"Fine, whatever, Dabi. Just text me next time you can't make it." You say sourly while searching for the bartender to order your drink. You don't want Dabi to see the slight sting of hurt in your eyes because he won't give you his. The rest of the night goes as expected, drinking and talking, and you find yourself laughing more, not realizing how much you truly enjoyed this time with him.

The two of you depart with another hug, this one much shorter than the first, but you find yourself leaning into the warmth that radiates from him instead of wanting to push him off. As you begin walking down the street home, you feel a buzz in your pocket. Pulling out your phone, you unlock it to the message from an unknown number.

Unknown Number: Hey babe, see you same time next week - D

A small smile comes to your face as you type a response back.

The following year you grow in your relationship with Dabi. There are never really any titles between the two of you. Just that the two of you are together. You never meet The League. Dabi is insistent you aren't involved with them in case things go awry. But you spend a lot of time together when work or villain work doesn't take up the time.

Your relationship together comes to a head at the very start of the apocalypse. The two of you sit snuggled together on your worn-out couch watching the news as a young reporter stands in front of a local research building in town and goes through the facts of citizens becoming "mindless and violent in a matter of hours." And how they have people under lockdown who are experiencing symptoms of this "mysterious illness."

A slight shiver goes through you as the reporter goes on. "That's really scary. No one knows what's causing it," you reflect aloud while you lean in closer into Dabi's outstretched arm that is resting around your shoulders.

"Aw, babe, don't be scared. Those mindless fools wouldn't stand a chance if they tried to lay a hand on you while I'm there," Dabi says with a glint of amusement in his voice. He always sounds so condescending, but you know it's the truth. Remembering a time at the bar when a guy wouldn't take no for an answer-not that Dabi really followed that either- but Dabi didn't hesitate to let the guy know you were already taken. He flirts and likes to jab a lot, but there’s a complete shift in the atmosphere when he's serious.

"Ugh, Dabi, you know I don't mean them attacking us. It's whatever is causing it that worries me. What happens if one of us gets it? There's no cure right now," You say and worry your lower lip between your teeth.

Dabi picks up on your anxious state, and his cocky facade fades. He pulls you on his lap so that you are fully facing him with legs pressed on either side of his. Dabi holds one large hand on your waist, and the other he presses to your cheek. Leaning your cheek further into his hand, Dabi moves his thumb to trace over the slight marks in your lip where your teeth were just placed. "Hey, listen to me, nothing is going to happen, okay? I won't let any of these maniacs hurt you, and we won't catch whatever they have," Dabi says tenderly as he gives you a small smile.

It's nice to see him like this- when his mask of superiority disappears, and he's focused on encouraging you. It doesn't happen often because you like to keep walls. Comfort from Dabi doesn’t need to happen often but you can’t say you don’t like it when he does. You enjoy these softer moments with him that only you get to see.

You pull Dabi into a light kiss. The gentle pressure of his mismatched lips fit seamlessly against yours. You pull away after a moment to look into his deep blue eyes that now captivate you. Dabi has that coy smile still on his face, and as his eyes meet your in that moment, it's like the horrible events of the world aren't happening anymore. All that seems to exist is the two of you, not the TV still prattling in the background or even the noises outside your city window.

Dabi lightly caresses your cheek down to the length of your neck and finally ending near where your collarbones sit. Everywhere he touches leaves behind a trail of goosebumps on your skin. Even with these simple touches, you can feel yourself starting moving against him, trying to create a bit of friction. Dabi knew how easily he could rile you up with simple touches. It was frustrating at times, and you wished you could have the same effect on him.

"I love you, babe. And no matter what, I won't let anything hurt you," Dabi tells you, and you swear his voice seems to be cracking, but the moment is gone before you can think about it. Dabi lives on being mysterious most of the time, and you rarely get to see this vulnerable side of him. Even if he doesn't say it behind that mask of cockiness, you can feel that there is fear of what's happening right now. Or at least that's what you think the fear is from, but Dabi will never admit the fear is from losing you to whatever this is. He isn't sure he could survive this hell of a life he's been given without you.

Your heart aches at his sincere words from earlier, and you whisper back, "I love you too, Dabi." Drawing him into a more intense kiss. Dabi begins to run his fingers along the hem of your t-shirt and delicately brushes the skin right under with his fingertips. You feel a moan bubble up inside of you, but his mouth moving against yours swallows the sound.

"I want you so bad, doll. Let's just forget what's going on right now, let the world fall away," he says in a husky voice after breaking away from the kiss.

You nod to him before letting out a content sigh and letting your eyes fall shut while Dabi continues to trace his hands over your body. Dabi trails his massive heated hands under the thin shirt you are wearing and down to your hips. You can feel the bulge of his cock through his jeans as it begins to press against your clothed core.

Opening your eyes, you meet Dabi's half-lidded lustful eyes and bite your bottom lip and allow yourself to give into Dabi taking over you.

You can feel your heart beating a little faster, watching Dabi drink in every ounce of you. Dabi is one of the only men you have ever trusted like this. To have you so totally vulnerable. It's strange how someone you didn't want anything to do with for months has become someone you rely on for everything- love, comfort, pleasure.

Dabi places open-mouthed kisses along your neck that leave you breathless. "Fuck, I'm obsessed with every inch of you," Dabi growls out before returning to kissing and sucking your neck and exposed collar bone.

You grip Dabi's shoulder to ground you back from floating away into complete bliss and tip your head out to give him more access to your neck. Dabi's mouth is like a flame that licks at your sensitive skin as he continues to trail his mouth all over. You could be trapped in this pleasure forever.

Dabi grasps the back of your head and roughly brings your lips back to his. With your mouths slotted against each other, you moan as Dabi finesses you to where you are lying on your back on the old couch, and he is hovering over you.

You break the kiss to quickly pull off his jacket and expose Dabi's scarred arms. And just as you have only trusted Dabi fully with yourself, he has done the same. Of course, the two of you have had sex with other people, mostly with lights off clothing still left on to hide the imperfections. But with each other, there is no more hiding.

Heat begins to pool in your belly as you watch Dabi pull off your shorts and slide his warm hands all the way back up your leg and massage the plush skin of your thighs. Once your shorts are removed, Dabi brings himself back to your face and, with a lustful sigh, traces kisses on your jaw and neck.

"Just relax and let me take you away from all of this, love. I want to hear every sound you make." He growls as he moves down towards your pussy and lays himself between your spread legs. Dabi lifts your thighs to rest on his shoulder as you let out a little gasp. You can feel the excitement and heat rising in you.

Dabi kisses down the inside of your soft thighs and stops to suck at certain spots, leaving minor marks in their place. He stops for a moment until you are looking directly into his captivating gaze, and then he licks a stripe up your pussy over the cotton of your underwear. You let out a breathy moan at the sensation. That jerk knows precisely what he's doing.

Dabi then grabs the thin material of your underwear and rips them away from your body with a tear. Groaning, you are about to curse at him for ruining another pair but are cut short when he sleekly licks up your folds. A delicate, playful moan leaves your separated lips. Your eyes close, and you cling onto his white shirt to ground yourself.

"Baby girl, you're soaking wet," Dabi teases as if you weren't aware but cuts off any retort again with a quick suck to your aching clit. You can't hold back the loud moan that bubbles up in your throat.

Dabi smiles against your lower lips and continues his ministrations. His mouth is open wide, so he can move back and forth from quickly licking up and down your sensitive pussy as well as suck softly on your clit. You feel light-headed at the extended sensations, little whimpers and moans falling through your lips. Dabi has always been able to leave you speechless with just his mouth.

"Dabi please," Your breathing hitches, and you moan out as he flicks his tongue repeatedly over your small bud. You can feel that hot pressure building in your stomach as Dabi continues. He laps at you like you are holding the only source of liquid left in this world, his tongue working wonders on your dripping hole.

Dabi pulls back and looks up at you as you eagerly meet his blue eyes, begging him to continue. He smirks before lowering his mouth back down and laps at your sopping core teasingly. Fucking bastard. Always a tease from day one.

Dabi licks his lips before returning to eating you out even faster as a series of cries and obscenities continue to fall out of your mouth. You can't hold them back. His mouth is so hot and wet against your core.

With another curse, you tell him you are close. A sigh escapes your lips, and your head tosses back onto the cushy arm of the couch. Dabi pulls away but inserts two fingers inside of you in place of his mouth.

"Fuck, sweetheart, as much as I want to hear you beg and plead for me, I want to taste you right now." Dabi lets out with a rough voice filled with desire. You whimper as he continues to fuck you with his fingers. He smirks at your blissed-out face and then returns his mouth to your pussy. His tongue flicks over your clit repeatedly as whines and cries continue to be let out of your mouth. Back arching, you bite at your lip, barely able to even process the words that came out of Dabi just a moment ago.

"Oh, fuck, Dabi, please. Please, I'm gonna cum soon." The words fall from your lips, and your mind feels numb to everything except the feeling of Dabi's tongue on your pussy.

Dabi grunts and gives another hard suck to your clit before pulling away just a bit. "Hell yeah, babe, come all over my face."

Your eyes roll back, and your mouth opens with another cry as your legs begin to tremble as the tension starts to rise in your stomach. One more lick, and you know you'd come. Dabi's continued suckling of your clit sends you careening over the edge. Your cries fill the room, and your back arches as your legs try to squeeze around his head. Dabi continues to suck and lick as you orgasm. Panting and with your eyes twisted shut, you cling to his shirt as you start to come down. A final curse gently leaves your mouth as you wait for your legs to stop shaking. Dabi takes one last long slow lick before sitting back and wiping his face with the back of his hand. You can't bring yourself to move from the couch, still panting and weak.

Your mind starts slowly coming back to you as the bliss begins to leave. The realization of everything happening in the world washes over you. But you were thankful Dabi took the time to distract you from the horrors of what's going on. You move over so Dabi can cuddle with you on the couch. It isn't much room, but it feels good to be this close with him, wrapped in each other's arms. You both slowly start to drift off to sleep, but you don't miss Dabi's final words mumbled into your hair, "I'll never let anything happen to you."

Shortly after that, the world seems to descend into madness. The illness grows more and more rampant. People are getting infected every day. Whether it's through the original source of contamination or by those contaminated biting or scratching someone. Panic spreads throughout the country. But through all of it, you and Dabi stick together.

From the moment it was declared an emergency Dabi was banging at your door, insisting the two of you find somewhere safer than your run-down apartment. Because while the two of you needed sleep, whatever these things are could go non-stop, and your apartment was not fortified.

You and Dabi lost your quirks a month after the emergency declaration, along with the rest of the population. People couldn't fight these zombie-like creatures off anymore. Like all the movies and TV shows, the bodies became more zombies than actual living people.

After a while of jumping around from a destroyed place to another, the two of you found yourself in an apartment building that had a sturdy enough entrance that the zombies couldn't break through. The daily struggles were still hard, though. Finding food and water to survive became a daily task for the two of you. Through all of this, he never left your side. He always insisted the two of you stay together. And so you did. Fighting the living dead, but sometimes the living too when things got even more terrible, and scavenging was your everyday routine now.

You lost track of time and could only follow when the seasons changed. But Dabi was really the only thing getting you through this. Seeing people destroy one another for food or shelter destroyed you inside. Never knowing if these zombies you were killing were someone you had known at one point, or just another faceless dead person tore at every corner of your brain. Dabi stayed strong for the two of you. Holding you every night on the ripped blankets, you could gather for the strange bed the two of you slept in. You would sob into his muscled chest about how you couldn't live in this world anymore, how you couldn't kill another person, alive or dead.

But Dabi would never let go. He would hold you close and let your never-ending tears stain the only shirt he had now. He would rub your back with his warm hands; even though his rusting staples would catch on your shirt and rip from his skin, he still did it. He would hold you until you fell asleep, whispering how strong you were and how he could never do this without you. And after all the tears, you were thankful too. Because without him, you'd be dead or alone. You knew that without Dabi, you would have never survived this long.

But you could see Dabi was hurting too. You couldn't find supplies to treat his decaying skin. He hid his daily pain from you, but when Dabi thought you weren't looking or listening, he would hiss at the pain of another staple pulling at his burnt skin or let out a huge sigh when he would try to put it back together, but it wouldn't cooperate.

The only hope the two of you held onto was each other and that possibly a cure would come soon. Not that either you could really access that information with no electricity; there wasn't any way to get information other than hearsay. You survived the best you could in this world.

And as much as this wasn't what you would have picked for either of you, at least you had each other. You tried not to think of a time when you wouldn't be together, even though the chances of that happening were high- it hurt too much. To survive in this world without Dabi would be too fucking much.

It's almost as if fate chose to play a cruel game with the two of you. It seemed like a "normal" trip out to scavenge for food and water. The two of you had to expand your search area since places closer were mainly empty.

This time you found yourself outside of a convenience store, a reasonable distance away from your home. It hadn't been completely destroyed by some miracle and was not overrun by the zombified people. Still, in a state of decay, though, Dabi was quickly able to kick his heavy boots through the door and get the two of you in.

Sauntering through the gas station, you quickly begin to pick up canned food and stale bags of chips and shove them in your worn backpack. Dabi is doing the same on other aisles until he lets out a chuckle. "Hey babe, look what I found." He says with a cocky voice holding up a few boxes of wrapped condoms above the aisle for you to see.

You roll your eyes. "Thanks, Dabi. Is sex really what we want to be thinking about right now? Let's just get this shit and get out." You let out with an annoyed huff and continue to push the limits of how much your bag can hold.

Dabi comes over to your aisle and snakes his arms around your waist with your back pressed to his chest. He places his chin on your shoulder and whispers in your ear. "Yes, all I can think about is getting your beautiful body back home and finally being able to finish in you, and with these, I can." He lets out a dark chuckle as he pulls you closer against him and bucks his hips playfully.

"Okay, horn dog, let's get this shit done, and then we can do whatever you want back home." You let out with an eye roll. It's hard to stay mad at him. You know he's trying to keep things light for you, to keep you happy because he can see how hard this is. And his regular teasing is one way he knows will bring a smile to your face.

As you are finishing up trying to take inventory of anything else in the store that you can take back, you spot the clear plastic that holds the cartons of cigarettes behind the cashier counter. While you didn't necessarily want Dabi smoking, you knew he missed the vice. Cigarettes were just as hard to find as medicine in this new world. Smiling to yourself, you move behind the counter and reach for the plastic flap to lift it up.

As you try to lift the latch, it doesn't budge. You look around for what might be blocking it before seeing the tiny silver keyhole to one side of the compartment. Crap, of course, it's locked. You really wanted to surprise Dabi with this. Maybe you still could. The key had to be here somewhere, right? You think while scanning around the counter. You try searching through the counters for a hidden key but no luck. Letting out a heavy sigh, you call Dabi over.

Dabi wanders over to your annoyed face and can't help but smile at your slight pout. "I wanted to surprise you! But I can't open it. Can you get it, please?" It comes out almost like a whine as you gesture to the cigarettes.

Dabi's smirk turns into a genuine smile, and he pats the top of your head before saying, "My sweet doll. Thank you for thinking of me. Let me help you out." You could smack him, but instead, you watch as he hastily rips the plastic covering away and slips his hand below it to grab one of the wrapped cartons.

At that moment, everything changes. The fun times the two of you were having shatters as a loud alarm rings through the store. Panic floods your system as you stare at Dabi wide-eyed. "There is no electricity. What's happening? There shouldn't be an alarm." Horror is laced in your voice as words spill out of you. Every walking corpse within miles will be here soon with the sound.

"Fuck, must have had a battery attachment. Come on, let's go." Dabi's usual playfulness is gone as he abandons the cigarettes and grabs your hand. He's grave now. Getting the two of you out of here safely is his only goal.

You follow Dabi quickly, a hand grasped tightly in his as he runs towards the broken-down front door. And that's when even more terror settles into you. Zombies are pushing their way through the open door. Their rotting bodies and white eyes focused on the area where the alarm is coming from. There weren't many around when you broke in, but now it seems like they are multiplying by the moment.

"Fuck fuck fuck." Dabi curses under his breath, quickly turning around and pulling you towards the building's back exit. You follow behind adrenaline surging through your veins fueled by your flight response. Dabi grasps at the metal handle to the back door and shakes it only to find it locked. "Damnit!" he shouts before kicking the door violently.

Your heart is pounding, and you feel helpless as you stare at Dabi while he continues to slam himself at the door. While the front door was glass and flimsier, this door was only budging slightly. With all your focus on the door, you don't notice the continuously growing herd filtering into the gas station. Not until you feel one brush against your shoulder.

Your eyes widen as you feel a scream bubbling in your throat. This is it. This is where the two of you die and either become fodder for a herd of living dead or turn into one yourself. Your brain is pure panic as thoughts fly through faster than you can catch them. You don't even realize you have screamed out Dabi's name until you see his face turn towards yours.

His typically blue eyes are almost entirely covered by his dark pupils as he takes in the monstrosities behind you. But unlike you, he doesn't hesitate. He pulls out a knife he keeps in one of his pockets and slams it into the decaying skull of the zombie that is right behind you. Splurts of dark blood hit your cheek as he pulls out the knife, and the creature behind you crumples to the floor.

"Keep trying the door! I'll keep them off you." Dabi shouts, pulling you into the spot he previously stood. Your heartbeat is so loud you can feel it in your head, and you can't even make a coherent response as you begin to slam your body against the solid surface. You can feel it give a little more with each push of your body, and everything in you is screaming not to give up. Doing your best not to glance at Dabi's grunting and movements as he continues to try and put down zombie after zombie.

You can't give up; this can't be the end . Desperately your brain is screaming as you continue to feel the door give more and more. Your shoulder hurts from the continued impact, but you aren't letting it slow you down. You can feel it; it's almost there.

Suddenly the door gives, and you can see the sun shining through on the other side. You cry out in relief and turn back to tell Dabi to come with you. But as your eyes meet, fear fills every ounce of you.

He's still fighting them off, but there is a gaping bite wound on his right arm— rows of teeth marks embedded in his skin. You feel like you're going to be sick. There is no coming back from this; there's no known cure. At any point within the next twenty-four hours, he would be another one of the walking dead, no sense, no logic, and looking to consume others. This can't be happening, this can't be happening. Your heart is sinking with every second that ticks by.

"What the fuck are you waiting for? Get out! Get out!" Dabi screams at you as he embeds his knife in another zombie.

"No, no, I can't leave without you! I-we can find something. I'll find something, please! Come on, Dabi, I can't do this without you!" You are sobbing now, hot tears streaming through the dirt and blood mixed on your face. An ache in your heart starts to form. You know you don't know how to help him, but you'll do anything to not leave him behind.

Dabi lets out a grin despite the feral dead people closing in on him. And gives you a wink before saying in a voice that seems too calm for the situation, "Come on, doll, you are the most intelligent person I know. You have to go. Live for us, babe. Look at how far we've come. Go show this world that it won't ever break you down. I love you, and I'll come to find you wherever you are in the afterlife and annoy the shit out of you. Now go!"

It's like your heart is being ripped into a thousand pieces. Your breath comes out in short huffs, moving towards hyperventilating. You want to go back to Dabi and cling on for dear life, but you won't let him die in vain. Not after that speech. That would be an insult to everything the two of you have overcome. So with all your strength, you give your lover, the man who has come so far with you, the last look before letting out a final "I love you too" and burst out the door.

You don't look back, aching feet propelling you forward as tears continue to stream and fall off your face. When you first met Dabi, you would have never thought you'd miss him. But you will , you'll miss every snarky comment, every flirty glance, and the tender way only he has loved you. The man that you were sure was just some asshole trying to get laid became the love of your life and sacrificed himself so you could live. And you could never let that go to waste.

#smut pile collab #Dabi x reader #Dabi smut #tw: character death #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #Dabi fanfiction #my fic #how far we've come

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mlmxreader · 2 years

Text

Biggest Fan | Black Noir x m!reader

@lluvin asked: I spent literal ages looking through my followings because I remembered seeing that you wrote for The Boys, and there’s barely any fics on here for it, so literally tysm for that!!

I have literal Black Noir brain rot 25/8, would you be able to write for Black Noir x Male Reader who isn’t apart fo the 7 but he’s like a big fan, and getting to meet Noir at a signing event. He actually brings him a gift that no one would really expect but the reader somehow found out about how he likes to draw and brings him a large sketchbook with a few art supplies to go with it. Just Noir being silently suprised because people don’t usually bring him gifts, well not really these types anyways. Reader is just a fanboying mess and is a bit embarassed by his reaction because he thinks he may have been given wrong info about Noir online, but turns out they were actually right! Sorry if this was too much but you’d probably write it better than what I can think of 😭.

summary: your friends get you tickets to finally meet Noir, but when you do, it turns out to be a little more than you'd expected.

tws: n/a

You were a big fan of Black Noir for years, despite hating the rest of the Seven except Starlight and Maeve, you always remained a fan of Noir; he was absolutely your number one celebrity crush, and you had dreamed of the day you would ever meet him, you dreamed about it so much - just being able to shake his hand in person and tell him how much you admired him. It was just a shame that, usually, ticket prices for events that the Seven attended were way out of your budget; you would have had to have saved up for at least a year to be able to even afford an event - let alone to take a picture with him or to meet him.

A lot of people stated that he liked to draw, snapping pictures of him at press conferences and events with a little notebook or some scraps of paper, absentmindedly doodling away while everyone else spoke; so you bought a notebook, a pen, and some other art stuff that you could give to him if you ever met him - for a while, they stayed in a little bag in the back of your wardrobe, at least until the day that your friends had announced that they bought you a ticket to meet him. You were so excited, even though your friends wandered off while you were waiting in line, you could feel your pulse racing and your palms start to sweat a little as you started to shake.

Waiting in line, you could see the tips of his fingers as he signed various things for other people, gripping onto the bag tightly as you wondered if he would like it; maybe social media and the papers were wrong, and he didn't actually like drawing at all. Maybe he just got bored sometimes and that was the nearest outlet for it, after all, he was expected to sit at things like this for hours on end; maybe he just got bored and he actually hated art.

But then you finally approached him, clearing your throat as you lifted the bag up. "I got you this, I, uh, I saw that you liked to draw a lot and uhm..."

Noir took the bag, sitting it on his lap gently as he peered inside for a moment before setting it down and quickly scribbling something on a notepad; he flipped it around so that you could read the words, "thank you :) I actually love to draw. What's your name?"

"(y/n)," you said quietly, rubbing the back of your neck as you let out a nervous laugh.

He scribbled on the notepad again. "(y/n), nobody ever brings me things like this. Can I take you to get something to eat, as a thank you?"

"Oh!" You all but yelped, grinning as you nodded. "Yeah! Uh, sure!"

Noir extended his hand, shaking it for a moment before he dared to stand up, making sure to grab the bag and gesture for you to follow; he couldn't say it, but he was shaking a little. No one had ever brought him gifts, at least, not ones specifically meant for only him - some brought gifts for him to pass along to other Supes, some brought gifts for them all to share. But you... you were the first, and Noir wanted to thank you properly.

But as you followed him, your nervousness only grew, especially when he took you into a more private area, grabbing some packeted snacks before sitting down at the table with you and scribbling something on his notepad again.

"I can't thank you enough, you're a kind man. I actually love the notebook."

You were smiling like an idiot, your features hot to the touch as you struggled to open one of the packets with shaking hands. "It's... it's no big deal, really - I'm a huge fan and I just... yeah."

Something that sounded almost like a laugh left him as he nodded, his hand must have hurt from having to write all day. "Can I put my number in your phone?"

"Yeah!" You cursed yourself for sounding so fucking eager, passing the phone to him after you had unlocked it. He handed it back after typing in his number under Irving. "I'll text you so have mine, hang on."

Noir nodded, looking at his phone until your text went through and quickly saving it to his contacts; he texted back, though. "It's a pleasure."

"Yeah," you said quietly. "Yeah, it is..."

"Won't your partner get jealous?"

You shook your head. "I'm not anyone's boyfriend yet."

"If you like Rammstein, I have a spare ticket," came the reply, making your phone buzz in your hand. "If you'd like to come with?"

"I'd love that!" You nearly shouted, laughing nervously as you sank into your seat. "I mean, I'd like that... a lot... sorry, I'm such a mess, I just..."

"It's okay :) it's kind of cute 🖤"

You hung your head as you bit the inside of your lip. "You're amazing, Noir."

#mlem writes #black noir x y/n #black noir one shot #black noir x reader #black noir imagine #black noir #the boys imagine #the boys fanfic #the boys #the boys fanfiction #the boys noir

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marauder-exe · 4 years

Text

Prompt List #2

Welcome to my biggest prompt list ever

if you wanna request something from this list, just use the character and ‘ prompt 34 from prompt list #2′ thank u!

Theres like 200 so be wary

Angst

“I love you ! Is that what you wanted to hear ?”

“I love him/her, and I know that I shouldn’t.”

“Can you just shut your mouth ?”

“wHY DO YOU KEEP LYING TO ME ?”

“We both know that I should walk away, but I can’t.”

“Wait, he/she has a girlfriend/boyfriend ?"

“I lo—-” “No, please… Don’t say that. You love her/him, not me.”

"Could you just take this pain away ? It hurts, so much… Help me.”

“You’re safe here, I got you.”

“Don’t ask her out again, please… You’re killing me, every single time you ask that.”

“Look, he/she wants you, just make him/her happy.”

“If you go, I’ll know that you never loved me.”

“We never were just friends, and you know it.” “I know it, but you deserve someone better than me.”

“SHE WAS CRYING BECAUSE OF YOU!!!”

“You love me like I’m the person who actually deserves your love.” “But you are the only one who deserves it.”

“I know for a fact that you’re not “fine”.”

“You’re looking at me like.. you’re disgusted. What did I do? Just tell me what I did, please!”

“What happened between us?”

“Nothing has changed!” “Yes it has, and you know it.”

“Love isn’t supposed to hurt this badly.”

“You said you needed space. You were 5,000 miles away for a year, and you’re still unsure. I’m starting to think that an entire universe apart wouldn’t be enough space for you.”

“I remember when he/she/they used to look at me that way”

“I want you to list every lie you ever told me. Then I’ll forgive you.”

“I don’t hate you. I hate that after all of this, you’re still trying to lie to me”

“I can’t keep this secret for you anymore.”

“I’m sorry I’m not what you signed up for.”

“Why she/her/them? It could have been anybody, and you chose to betray me with her/him/them.”

“This will be the last time you lie to me.”

“You never loved me, did you?”

“You made me miserable and I still loved you.”

“Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”

“We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”

“Your mind must be a horrible place.”

“Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”

“And I thought you loved me."

" And I thought I loved you."

" Aren't you even going to cry?"

“I didn’t expect you to wait forever. I just hoped…”

“Did you always know that you were going to leave?”

“If you cry, I’ll stay, and if I stay that will just give you another reason to hate me.”

“I’m addicted and at this point I don’t think anything could make me stop.”

”If you wanna know, then ask.”

“You never asked because you knew I wouldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear.”

“We grew apart, and at this point I’m glad.”

“Find somebody else to kiss your ass.”

“When are you going to stop clawing for something that’s never going to happen?”

“What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.”

“It was easier to believe that the you I knew was dead than deal with the fact that I still have to see you every day.”

“What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.”

Fluff

51. “You’re hair is really soft after you wash it.”

52. “Ssh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.”

53. “You smell really nice.”

54. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”

55. “I might have slept with your robe when you were gone.”

56. “If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you.”

57. “Here, let’s share the blanket.”

58. “You’re comfy.”

59.“You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.”

60.“But I want to hear you sing.”

61.“Don’t get up - I’ll do it.”

62.“Care to give me a back scratch?”

63.“I think I love you.”

64.“Your bed head is really cute.”

65.“How about a kiss?”

66.“You made this for me?”

67.Aw, you’re blushing.”

68. Uh oh, I know that look. What do you want?”

69. “Let me help you with that.”

70. “I don’t want to forget this moment.”

71.“Are you really flirting with me right now?”

72.“I like the way your hand fits in mine.”

73.“You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?”

74.“It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.”

75.“This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?”

76.“Wait, don’t pull away… Not yet.”

77.“Half the time I get too embarrassed to say anything”

78.“No, it’s fine. I can wait until you’re done talking to them.”

79.“No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

80.“You’re a big piece of inspiration for this, honestly.”

81.“I’ve been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because I know you’re going to look so good and I need to try and match up.”

82.“I wanted to say “I love you” for the first time without stuttering, but that failed.”

83.“My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about how sometimes.”

84.“No, mom, don’t tell him/her I said that about him/her!”

85.“I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”

86.“ You are so beautiful — So fucking beautiful. “

87.“And just WHERE do you think you’re putting your hands?”

88.“Wow, you look even better in the daylight.”

89.“I don’t remember ever having this many hickeys. But I don’t mind.”

90.“We could order pizza and just stay like this all day.”

91.“It was always you.”

92.I love you in every possible way.”

93.“I didn’t mean to love you so much.”

94.“Don’t you hurt a single hair on his/her/their head.”

95.“Duck, you idiot!”

96.“Hey. Pal. I’ve got a wand and I’m not afraid to use it.”

97.“Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.”

98.“It’s not a double date. We’re just third and fourth wheeling.”

99.“Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”

100.“I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..”

Sarcasm

101.“Define normal.”

102.“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”

103.“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

104.“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

105.“It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”

106.“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

107.“And you wonder why you’re still single.”

108.“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

109.“That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

110.“She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.”

111.“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”

112.“If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”

113.“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

114.“My middle finger salutes you.”

115.“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”

116.Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

117.“Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”

118.“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

119.“All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”

120.“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

121.“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

122.“What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

123.“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

124.“I need therapy after this.”

125.“You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”

126.“I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.”

127.“I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.”

128.“I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”

129.“Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.”

130.“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.”

131.“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

132.“Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!”

133.“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

134.“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

135.“Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”

136.“I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”

137.“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”

138.“So stick that in your juice box and suck it.”

139.“Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”

140.“Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

141.“Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”

142.“Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

143.“You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.”

144.“Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.”

145.“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

146.“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

147.“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.

148.“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

149.“Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.”

150.“You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.”

Drama

151.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”

152.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”

153.“Don’t think I forgot about what you did last time.”

154.“I know you lied to me.”

155.“I’m not even sorry.”

156.“You backstabber!” 157.“I never want to see you again.” 158.“You never mattered to me.”

159.“I knew this was a bad idea.”

160.“Rot in hell.”

161.“It was supposed to be a secret!”

162.“No one loves me.” 163.“He/she/they is/are so petty…” 164.“You made me cry.” 165.“I don’t know who you are anymore.” 166.“How DARE you?!” 167.“I know you’re not talking to me…” 168.“I SAW you with him/her/them!”

169.“Just leave me alone.”

170.“What did you do?!” 171.“I told everyone that I didn’t want to talk but I’m actually dying for attention.”

172. “Just admit that was extra…”

173.“I forgive, but I don’t forget.” 174.“Did you see what he/she/they was/were wearing?” 175.“So what if I had sex with your ex?” 176.“There’s something I have to tell you…” 177.“I can’t do this anymore.” 178.“You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.” 179.“I never loved you.” 180.“It’s too late.”

181.“Quit ignoring me.”

182. “Don’t you get it? It’s because I love you!”

183.“I love you. I’m sorry.”

184.“I don’t want to be friends.”

185.“Can we please pretend I never said that?”

186.“Friendzoned again.”

187.“You should’ve loved me when you had the chance.”

188.“Fuck you for toying with my emotions like that.”

189.“I was there for you when no one else was!”

190.“Alright – I can tell a ‘no’ when I hear it.”

191.“I’m sorry I acted so creepy.”

192.“Fuck. It’s like what they say – nice guys finish last…”

193.“I’m tired of keeping this secret. Even if you don’t love me back.”

194. “I knew that’d be your answer. That’s why I never told you before.”

195.“When I said I loved you, I meant it.”

196.“Is there any part of you, deep down, that might love me back?”

197.“You were the one that left all those notes for me?”

198.“You’re in a relationship with another person – you know this can’t end well.”

199.“We agreed this was just physical!”

200.“I love you. I know you don’t love me, so don’t say it back.”

Ahhh im sorry that was so long, but if you read all the way to here, your a real one.

Again i write for all Hp characters! Feel free to use these prompts as ur own

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m0srael · 3 years

Text

For @hp-fearfest’s day 2 prompt: From Beyond the Grave. Thanks 4 the beta @corvuscrowned. CW: spooky vibes and graphic depictions of corpses.

(on Ao3 | T | 2.5k)

Making a Family Makes a Home

“Happy anniversary, love,” Harry pants into Draco’s wet, open mouth. He thinks he can make out the chirping of morning birds over their slowing breaths, and the warm lamplight in the room is slowly being suffused with cool grey from the dawning sun. They hadn’t slept at all that night.

Harry has never felt happier. He’s loved Draco for so long, and now, finally, he’s allowed to show him. The fact that Draco loves him back makes him feel incandescent, like he’s flying.

Draco hums tiredly in response, hands stilling in Harry’s hair. “��Spose we can tell everyone to settle their bets on whether we’d make it to a year or not. I think Longbottom is the only one who went in our favor.”

Harry laughs gently and captures his boyfriend’s kiss-swollen lips in his teeth. “Fancy shocking everyone even more?”

“Always.”

“Let’s move in together…” Harry whispers into the dip between Draco’s collar bones, where sweat has pooled and started to dry. He darts the tip of his tongue out to capture the salty tang.

Draco goes stiff underneath him and says nothing.

Harry pulls back to gauge his expression. It’s firm, unreadable. “It’s just, we’ve been dating for a year and you’re here just as much—if not more—than you’re at home. We don’t have to stay here, we can find a place we both want to live, somewhere new. You talk all the time about how much you hate still living with your parents. We could… We could really start our life. Together. The way we want.”

Draco’s enigmatic expression breaks a little. “Oh, Harry, love. You know I want that. Of course I want to build a life with you. It’s just… I know I complain about mother and father, but they’re getting old. They need me. I’d… I’d worry about leaving them all alone in that big old Manor.”

“Yeah. I get that, I do. But…They have house elves, don’t they? To look after them? It’s not like you couldn’t visit whenever you want.”

“We couldn’t afford to pay the elves, after the trials. We had to let them go.”

“Oh, right. Sorry. Well, I don’t want to pressure you into anything, so—”

“Harry. I… Want to. I do. Just. Let me think about it a little?”

“Yeah. Of course. Of course, love. Take all the time you need. I’ve already got more of you than I ever thought possible. I’m happy.”

“Sap.”

“You promised you weren’t going to pressure me, Harry,” Draco snaps as he drops their dinner plates into Harry’s sink with a clatter.

“I know, I know, and I don’t mean to. But we’ve been together for nearly three years, Draco, and you still refuse to even stay the night half the time you’re over here. Is it… Do you not love me anymore? Has something changed, have I—”

He watches the shutters fall behind Draco’s eyes, like they always do when they have this conversation. He’s tried so hard to respect Draco’s request for time and space, but lately it’s like a chasm has opened between them, and Harry doesn’t know how to bridge it. His gut reaction to the feeling of impending loss has always been to hold tighter, to grasp and pull. He knows how suffocating that can be for some people, but he can’t help it.

Draco sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Harry, no, of course not. I love you more every day, you know that. It’s just... not that easy. My parents—”

“Oh, sod your bloody parents!” Harry bites back, sharper than he intended. “I mean—I’m sorry—but I feel like you’re sacrificing your own happiness for them. Again! I know you love them, but after everything they’ve put you through. Everything they asked of you. You deserve the chance to make your own choices and live your own life, Draco.”

“I… I know that. I do. I just feel so guilty, sometimes…”

“Look. We can look into some care homes, maybe. Neville says his Nan loves her community. Or—” Harry raises a hand to cut off Draco’s interjection, “—we can interview some live-in Healers. I can help you, you won’t have to do it alone.”

Draco’s face twists into an ugly frown. “No. How dare you—I’m not dumping my parents into some disgusting care home to be ignored and overlooked by overworked nurses. And I’m certainly not allowing a stranger into my home, Harry! Haven’t you heard of elder abuse? How could I do something like that to them?”

“Your home…”

“What?”

“You just called the Manor your home. I thought… I’d hoped you considered this your home.”

“Oh...well I—”

“Forget it. Look, I just need some space. I don’t want to say something in anger that I’ll regret later. Your feelings are valid, I just...feel a little hurt right now, to be honest. I’m going to Ron and Hermione’s for the night. Feel free to stay. Or not. Merlin knows you never do.”

“Harry—” Draco pleads as Harry turns toward the Floo.

“What do you want, Potter? I’m terribly busy.”

“Pansy, you don’t have a job.”

“And?”

“Nevermind, look. It’s about Draco…”

“Isn’t it always?”

“Please, Pansy. You know I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t serious. I...need your help.”

Pansy sighs, settling herself and her glass of scotch on the chaise in front of her fireplace, which Harry had just tumbled out of unannounced several minutes earlier.

“Fine. Make it quick.”

“Right. Well. Draco won’t move in with me.”

“Mm,” she hums, taking a drag on the cigarette in her other hand. “Sounds normal to me. I don’t see why anyone would want to live with you.”

“Fuck’s sake—” Harry hisses, beginning to pace across the hearthrug. “I know you don’t like me, you wish Draco were with someone else, whatever—can you please just take this seriously for like, one second. Please.”

Pansy exhales an exasperated cloud of spicy smoke into Harry’s face and sits up straight.

“Potter. Draco’s relationship with his parents is… complicated.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

Pansy eyes him sharply over the rim of her rocks glass for a long moment. “No, I don’t think you do, really. Not the whole of it, at least.”

Harry throws his hands up, frustrated. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

A series of emotions passes over Pansy’s face as she eyes him. Amusement, then scorn, then sadness, and finally pity.

“Pansy,” Harry says, slumping down onto the chaise next to her and letting his head fall into his hands. “I love him so much. I…want to marry him. But, I can’t if he won’t be honest with me about why he won’t live with me. I’ve done the best I can so far, but I can’t envision a future where my husband won’t even stay the night with me, let alone share a house with me. And I definitely can’t envision a future where we move into the Manor together.” He shivers involuntarily.

“No, I don’t think that would do anybody any good. Harry… I can’t say any more. I know, I’m sorry, but I just can’t. If you really need to know why Draco won’t move in with you, and he won’t explain it himself, you need to go see them. Lucius and Narcissa. I think you’ll find your answers there. I just hope you’re prepared for them.”

“He’s never asked me to go home with him. I haven’t… I haven’t been to the Manor since the War.”

“Mmhm,” Pansy hums, lips pursed condescendingly.

Harry stands and takes a palm full of Floo powder, gut twisting and thoughts racing.

“Harry—” Pansy says, stopping him as the flames flare green. “If you really love him—”

“Pans—”

“—You’ll let this go. You won’t go to the Manor.”

“I don’t… I don’t think I can do that, Pansy.”

Pansy draws her worried eyebrows down between her liquor-glassy eyes. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Harry never received a reply to his owl to Lucius and Narcissa asking if it’d be alright to visit that afternoon. He isn’t surprised; he knows there’s no love lost between them even now, even after he’s been with their son for years.

He’d considered sending owl after owl until one of them responded—even if it was just to serve him with a restraining order. In the end, he knew he would never be at peace if he didn’t talk to them face to face. He needs to settle this once and for all, so he can move on. So he and Draco can move on, and move in, together.

After deciding that he’s given them enough warning, he apparates to Wiltshire.

When he lands outside the Manor, he’s confused. For a minute he thinks he’s apparated to the wrong location. The once-gleaming gates are rusted and bent, hanging from their hinges. Ivy creeps across the damp stone pillars and flagstones, eating into every fracture and crevice. The footpath beyond the gates is thickly overgrown with weeds and brambles, as though no one has walked it in years.

He pushes past the gates and begins fighting his way through the underbrush. His breath catches in his throat when he comes around the final bend in the path. There’s no way Draco has been living here for the last six years. There’s no way anyone has been living here in a long time.

The entire house seems to sag. The stone walls are covered in a thick layer of black muck. The same ivy that threads through the front gates has all-but consumed the lower half of the building, making it look as though the Manor is scrabbling up from the depths of the earth. All the windows Harry can see are coated in a thick layer of dusty grime; some are broken and grimace at him like mouths full of jagged, glass teeth. The once-resplendent gardens are now buried under thick snarls of thorns and wild, venomous tentacula that wave menacingly at Harry, welcoming him. To what, he doesn’t know.

Dread settles into the pit of his stomach like a heavy stone. His breathing becomes sharp and ragged, and he knows—beyond the shadow of a doubt—that something is very wrong.

When he finally picks his way up the crumbling front steps, he finds that the stately front door is cracked open. From the look of it, the lock fell from the moist, rotting old wood at some point.

He pushes the door open more fully and is hit with a wave of the thick, sickly-sweet scent of decay. His shocked brain finally jumpstarts into action. He jogs into the foyer, the clacking of his dress shoes muffled in the thick layer of dust on the floor. Despite the blood rushing in his ears and his short, wheezing breaths, he can hear the sounds of voices coming from a door down the hallway to his left. He recognizes one as Draco’s.

He moves quickly but cautiously toward the sound, pausing just outside the open door.

“Mother, I’ve told you a hundred times, you can’t have milk in your tea anymore. It upsets your stomach for days. Here, let me—”

“Oh, stop fussing, Draco. I’m an old lady I can do what I like,” comes Narcissa’s high-pitched, croaky voice.

Draco chuckles warmly, and Harry can hear the clink of teacup on saucer.

“So, Draco, my boy. How is your Mister Potter?” Lucius asks. Harry had forgotten how alike he and Draco sound, though Lucius’s voice is a touch deeper.

“Oh, well. Don’t tell him I told you, but I think he’s going to propose soon!” Draco replies, sounding genuinely pleased.

Harry’s stomach flips, despite his overwhelming unease.

“Oh, my love, that’s wonderful. I know you love him very much. Perhaps now you can invite him to come live with us? We’ve got more than enough room, you know,” Narcissa’s reedy voice cracks a little, and Draco clears his throat.

“Mother. No,” he responds sternly, almost shouting, “We’ve talked about this many times. You know I can’t bring him here. As much as I would love—” Draco sniffs wetly, as though he’s crying, “—to have all of my family together, he would never want that. He could never understand. He’s not...not like us.”

Draco sobs, then, and there’s a clatter of china as though he’s shoved his teacup away from himself.

Harry can’t take it anymore. He takes a deep breath, sets his shoulders, and moves around the doorframe to face them.

Draco glances up from the opposite side of the small table, startled. He looks like a rabbit caught in the gaze of a hungry dog--hunched and shivering, eyes wide and darting erratically. But then a smile cuts across his pale face. His pink lips curve up at the edges, but the expression doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Oh, Harry. We were just talking about you. You’ve come just in time for tea. Sit.”

It’s then that Harry looks to Lucius and Narcissa, seated in chairs on either side of Draco.

Neither of them move, and it takes Harry longer than he’d like to realize that’s because they can’t.

Their bodies are stiff and cold-looking. Their skin is waxy and grey, and both of their skulls are swathed in wisps of white-blonde hair that looks to have been tacked on with a hasty sticking charm. Harry shifts one step to the right, enough to see that Lucius’s eyelids are gone and his eyes have been replaced with shiny, black marbles.

He cuts his eyes frantically over to Narcissa, whose ivory teeth look too huge in her face. Harry realizes on a wave of nausea that her lips have rotted, exposing fleshless gums.

“Yes, Harry dear, Draco has told us so much about you, please sit. There’s so much we need to talk about. To clear the air.”

A manic laugh rips from Harry’s throat as what he thought was Narcissa’s voice drips out of Draco’s mouth like the chime of discordant bells. He takes several stilted steps backward toward the door.

Draco shoots to his feet, a soft, pleading look on his beautiful face. He moves toward Harry carefully, extending pleading hands until he can grasp Harry’s shoulders.

Harry wants to scream. He wants to run away from that place and never look back. But here’s Draco, his Draco, jarringly pretty among all this rot. Draco places a soft kiss on Harry's trembling lips.

“Harry. Please. Join us.”

The snick of the door echoes in his ears as it’s spelled shut behind him.

#hpfearfest2021 #hpfearfest #hp fanfic #drarry fic rec #drarry fic #drarry #mosewrites

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amiwritesthings · 3 years

Note

Established deanjohn. The argument that leads to Sam leaving to Stamford were he ends up screaming at John that he knows about his relationship with Dean. Dean tries to explain but Sam starts accusing him too and John kicks him out. Cue afterwards either soft deanjohn scene or them starting fighting, leading then to a more rough scene

so i said i wasn't gonna fill this prompt BUT- here we are. just a warning, sam is, well, let's say harsh

---------------

Dean pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off the headache he can feel coming on from hearing his father and his brother yell over his head for a solid half hour. He had given up trying to referee a few minutes ago, hovering uselessly in the middle as a buffer, just in case things turned physical.

“I’m disappointed in you, Sammy. Family comes first. Thought we raised you better than that,” John says, almost eerily calm now, and Sam bristles at the words, fists clenching tightly at his sides. Dean straightens just as a precaution, grounds his stance.

“It’s Sam, I’m not a fucking child anymore! And you really think you have a fucking leg to stand on here? Father of the year, right here, huh? Neglecting one son while fucking the other.”

Dean freezes for a second, more from the shock of Sam knowing than the actual words, his eyes, wide, unsure, flickering to Sam, who’s curled so tight Dean’s afraid he’s going to explode any second. Dean instinctively takes a step closer to his father.

“What, you think I don’t know about that fucked-up twisted thing between you two? You haven’t exactly been hiding it well, not for a long time!” Sam rages and behind him, Dean hears John draw in a breath, feels his father's body tensing, and Dean gives him a short look, silent communication – let me handle this -, before turning his attention back to Sam, stepping closer.

“Sammy-,” Dean starts but then doesn’t continue when Sam huffs, a whole-body thing, his shoulders rising, his chest puffing out, eyebrows drawing together as he narrows his eyes.

“Sam,” he corrects, ignoring the sting in his heart at being forced to do so, “whatever you think you know, it’s not-“

“It’s not what, huh, Dean?” Sam interrupts, nostrils flaring. “He’s got his dick so far up your ass, you don’t even know right from wrong anymore! You know there’s more to life than following orders and bending over, right?”

Dean reels back, feels more than sees John move behind him, only manages to turn and bring a hand up to John’s chest in the last second.

“Don’t Dad,” he tries, but John’s eyes are firmly fixed on Sam over Dean’s shoulder, furious, jaw ticking with anger, muscles tense beneath Dean's palm.

“Don’t do something you’ll regret, please, John?” Dean tries again, quieter, putting some pressure into his touch, and John finally tears his gaze away from Sam, eyes softening just a little as looks at Dean.

“Oh, it’s John, now, is it? God, I don’t know who’s more deluded, him for thinking this is okay or you for thinking you actually want this! I’m so sick of both of you!”

Dean recoils at the words, from John, from Sam, and when he finally turns to face his brother, hurt in his eyes, and says ‘c’mon Sammy, you don’t mean that’, so quietly, Sam almost – almost – seems to feel bad, his scowl softening, eyes going wide. It has the opposite effect on John, though, anger flaring, shoulder squaring, as he bellows “You wanna leave so fuckin’ bad, boy? Take your shit and go. Go to Stanford, live a normal life. But you leave now, you don’t come back, you hear me?”

Dean tries his hardest not to flinch, at the words, at the sudden determination in Sam’s eyes.

“Fine by me! You just keep living your backwater hillbilly fantasy, ruin him some more, tell yourself it’s okay. See if I fuckin’ care,” Sam yells back as he shoulders his duffel, slings his backpack over the other shoulder.

“Sam, c’mon,” Dean tries again, hovering uncertainly, itching to stop his brother from leaving but not quite daring to move.

“Sam,” Dean implores when Sam reaches for the door handle and while there’s a slight halt in the movement, it doesn’t stop his brother from opening the door. Dean tenses when fingers curl around his wrist, John’s voice low in his ear a moment later. “Let him go, son. He made his choice.”

Sam doesn’t look back when he walks out, the door falling shut behind him with a heavy thud. The silence feels suffocating, makes Dean swallow against the lump in his throat. John’s fingers are still on his wrist, a light touch that should ground him, would ground him in any other situation, the slight stroke of thumb against his pulse point.

He wrenches his hand free, rubs at the skin as if he could chase John’s touch away. He’s feeling untethered, his whole life upended with the slam of the door, a constant removed, just like that.

“Dean.”

“I need a minute,” Dean manages to choke out, stumbling over the words, stumbling away from the looming presence of his father and out into the dark.

Part of him hopes to find Sam still outside, sitting on the porch, on the curb, but there’s only darkness and rain, cold and damp, and God, he wishes they weren’t staying in this god-forsaken residential area with nothing around them for miles, wishes he was at a motel, a truck stop, somewhere with a bar around.

But here, there’s nothing, no people, no bar, no Sam. Just trees, a rotting porch and darkness. He sinks down on the steps of the porch, the rain only hitting his shoes and legs, fat drops that soak through his jeans.

He couldn’t care less.

He takes a deep breath, releases it again in a shudder, his breath forming a cloud in the cold. He wonders if Sam really meant it, if he’s really sick of them to the point where he can’t even stand being around them anymore. If the boy he’d raised, the boy he’d carried out of their burning home on unsteady feet, can’t look him in the eye anymore, can’t accept what living this life has made of their family.

And Dean knows he should feel bad about what he's doing with John, for loving his father too much, that it’s dirtybadwrong for anyone who doesn’t know this life, their circumstances, how Dean has always been more of a partner than a son.

Sam knows all of this, first hand, and he still doesn’t understand. Doesn’t want to understand.

It hurts more than anything ever has, claws at his insides, makes him feel raw and ripped open and he quickly runs a hand over his face when his eyes well up. He’s not going to cry, not over this.

Fuck Sam and his high and mighty attitude, he thinks, and his brain cheers, but his heart keeps aching regardless.

The door opens, closes softly, heavy footsteps that stop just behind him.

“It’s raining,” John says as he sinks down beside Dean on the steps, the old wood creaking ominously under their combined weight.

“Yeah,” Dean mutters, keeping his eyes on the ground, the patchy grass in the front yard, the muddy puddles forming in the spaces between.

They sit in silence for a while and Dean lets John’s presence soothe his nerves, lets his warmth seep into him where their shoulders touch. He’s thankful, for once, that they don’t talk about shit like feelings. They are Winchesters after all, stoic and focused, with no room for something as pesky as emotions.

Dean releases a shaky breath when a big hand settles heavily at the back of his neck, squeezing softly. He bites his lip against the tears surging up again, the sharp point of pain enough to keep them at bay. “C’mon, back inside.” The low rumble of John’s voice is comforting, something that bypasses his brain and goes straight to relaxing his body.

“Yeah,” he breathes, soft, as he follows John in rising, grimacing at the feel of wet jeans sticking to his legs. It’s uncomfortable, like the whole evening has been. And he’s so ready for it to be over, for all of this to be over, for John and him to get into the Impala and just drive, hunting whatever comes their way and forget about Sam.

Not tonight though. John has been drinking, he can smell it on him when he follows him inside, their shit isn’t packed and it’s coming down in sheets outside. Tonight, they are not going anywhere. Tonight, they are stuck here, in this ramshackle house with the memory of Sam haunting the space.

“We’ll leave in the morning,” John says, as if reading his mind, and Dean is glad he doesn’t need to ask for this, doesn’t need to ask to get away from this place.

He follows John up the stairs, to the bedrooms, where they each had their own, a rare luxury. John doesn’t say anything when Dean hovers in the door to his room, doesn’t ask for him to join him in John’s, doesn’t push.

“Night,” is the only thing he says, quietly, before he disappears into the bedroom, leaving Dean alone in the hall. Dean’s eyes linger on the door across from his, the room where Sam slee- used to sleep, and his teeth dig into his lip again, the flesh already sore, the pain a welcome distraction.

His bedroom is dark safe for a sliver of moonlight through the curtain, finding its way between heavy cloud as the rain momentarily lets up. He sinks onto the edge of the bed with a sigh, toes off his boots, then peels the wet jeans down his legs. His calves are clammy, cold, and he shivers in the cool air, mind still whirling.

Did Sam really hate him that much for finding comfort, love in his life? Did he really think he-

Dean clamps down on the thought, forces it back. Fuck Sam. The thought is foreign, forced, leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

He strips out of the rest of his clothes, slips into his sleep shirt, one of John’s old USMC shirts that still hangs long on his frame.

He eyes his bed, the lumpy pillow, the ugly comforter with the stupid roses.

It’s not even a conscious decision to leave his room, pad down the hall to the door that’s left slightly ajar. “Dad?”

There’s rustling in the dark, like John’s turning over to face the door.

“C’mere,” John says, one hand lifting the sheets for Dean to climb in. Dean hovers for just a second before crossing the distance and sliding under the sheets, fitting himself to John’s body until he can’t tell anymore when one ends and the other begins.

It reminds him of simpler times, when he was just a boy, climbing into his dad’s bed to escape a bad dream, letting his father hold him until his mind quieted down.

There’s a hand softly running through his hair now, the other resting just lightly on his belly. It’s warm and comfortable and familiar and for the first time since Sam had whipped out that stupid envelope, Dean begins to relax.

“Do you really think he hates-,” Dean starts after a while, not even sure if John is still awake, letting his words trail off into the dark. John tightens the arm around him, presses a kiss to the back of his neck. “No,” he answers, a puff of warm air against Dean’s skin, and he sounds so sure that Dean can almost believe it.

#angst #deanjohn #johndean #sam knows #writing #asks #ami answers #ami writes #sorry this took so long #hope you like it #liddellhart #why do y'all always hit me with the angst

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brivetaroundtown · 3 years

Text

To say that I am nervous about posting my writing onto the internet is an understatement.

But the lovely and extremely talented @lumos-flies has inspired me to do so after working with me on making my Villain Denki brain rot a reality. So this is a part 2 to that.

Link to "About Last Night" also a Link to KoFi because their work is impeccable

Denki Kaminari x F! Reader

+18 Minors DNI

TW: Overstim, electricity play, use of Puppy as a pet name, slight possessive yan vibes if you squint. That’s really all I could think of, if someone catches more PLEASE let me know!

___________________________________________________________

It has been 2 weeks, 5 hours, and a quick glance at the clock shows 30 minutes since that text from Denki. Not that you were keeping track or anything. No, you were perfectly capable of living your life as normal all while knowing that the best sex of your life was had with the infamous Chargebolt.

“Miss me?”

That the same electric quirk that lit your body up like the grand finale New Year firework display was also capable of leveling a city block. Those hands that stoked such euphoria from your body that you could still feel him on a cellular level, were also the hands responsible for the death of hundreds. And you, a grown capable woman was going to work and living your life as normally as possible in this crazy city. You weren’t still obsessing over the idea of texting Denki back, or having flashbacks to that night while alone with yourself at night… or in the shower… or hell even currently riding this elevator at work down to the first floor so you can start your walk back home. The memory of Denki’s head between your thighs as electric sparks swirled across his tongue wasn’t plaguing your every waking moment.

Too bad you were a terrible liar, even, maybe especially to yourself.

How demented was it that him becoming a villain turned you on more? Was it the risk? As if living in this city without quirk wasn’t risky enough in and of itself, you were now fantasizing about a villain?! Granted, the fantasies were based on a very real encounter but still. You should probably speak to a therapist, but were also concerned that they would be legally obligated to tell the authorities. You would be the worst bait, after all you couldn’t even lie to yourself.

You don’t even remember making it back to your apartment. So caught up in your own thoughts you must have walked the whole way on autopilot. Which is a shame, because thoughts like those required wine and you cant remember if your roommate remembered to add it to the lis… thoughts halted abruptly by the current obsession leaning against your door.

Are hallucinations a common symptom of sexual frustration? Why would he be here? As you stare at the blonde casually leaning against the frame, slight smirk gracing his face as Denki takes in your presence.

“Hey Puppy, long time no see” his voice ran through you, sparking along your spine, further fanning the dark need inside of you. Yet you couldn’t say a word, too shocked that he was here, in the flesh.

“You know, you should probably let me in. Wouldn’t want your neighbors to call the cops. Bakugo is real big on property damage. I think he gets off on it.” Denki’s smirk deepens into a grin at your blanched expression. Its not fair that someone so evil can make a grin look that sexy. Spurred on by the fear of others seeing him does rush you into action, urging him inside your apartment.

Before you can even ask what he was doing there or how he found out where you lived, Denki had your back against a wall with his face shoved between your neck and shoulder.

“J..just give me a minute”

The vulnerability of the moment had you forgetting all the news segments and every other thought in your head. Your arms reacted on their own accord, wrapping tightly around him, stroking his back to offer comfort. As if this was a completely normal situation, and not the fucked up one that was your reality. This softness did not last long. It started with soft kisses, that turned to a quick nibble, and paused with a whispered “You should say no now, this is your only out”. Your voice responded without any input from your conscience or logic with a desperately whispered “please.”

Denki let out a growl, pulling your body roughly against his, already feeling sparks of heat through your work shirt while his teeth bit into the softness of your neck. You knew that you said yes to something more than just another night, but as Denki lifted you your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you to your room, you were not really sure that you cared. As the buttons from your blouse snapped and landed on the floor, with every rip and tear of thread as Denki rushed to see your skin, you let the world know with every moan and gasp that fell from your lips, how willing you were to fall into this sin.

“Watch me” You had not even realized your eyes had closed, Denki was still dressed, though he had lost his jacket to the floor. Your clothes were in tatters around you, naked and vulnerable sitting on top of your comforter at the edge of your bed. Now that he had your full attention, Denki traced his fingers from your neck to each of your pert nipples, the electricity from his fingertips shocking you as he traced your body. Claiming every cell as his lighting danced along your skin leaving no inch of it untouched. You would never be the same, but you should have known that from the last time. Possessiveness filled his yellow eyes, trapping you in their depths. You couldn’t look away, even if you wanted too.

“Do you know how many times I have thought about this body of yours puppy?” With each words his fingers traced lower down your stomach, the other hand tightening its grip on your thigh. “Almost constantly. You not messaging me back stung a little bit though” the electricity went a little sharp on the word stung, ripping out a whimper from your lips, before it returned to the pleasing level of heat that you went wet for, the reality being so much better than the memory. You did dare to speak back though, voice thick with lust “you didn’t text back for the longest time either.” The words may have been whispered but they did not go unnoticed by Denki. With a crooked grin, he pulled you closer to the edge of the bed, forcing your thighs apart so that his body could stand between them.

“So my puppy did miss me” his teeth nibbled along your jaw, drawing out a moan as he made his way to your sensitive ears “don’t worry Y/N, you won’t have to miss me anymore.” With those words sealing your fate, Denki drops to his knees pressing his lips against your wet cunt. “Keep those eyes on me puppy, and those hands to the bed. Want to be a good girl for me dontcha?”

All it took was a nod from you before his tongue was licking along the seam, teasingly dipping into your folds, only using the tip of his tongue to flick over your sensitive clit. “Already so wet for me puppy” the words vibrated through your core, as his tongue kept tracing a path from your folds to your clit and back. You were so close to the edge of bliss already, just a bit more pressure and you would… the scream that came out of your throat your orgasm ripping through you at Denki’s sudden use of this quirk on your clit caught all of your senses by surprise.

Denki chuckled against your core, the flat of his tongue against your clit riding you through the pleasure. Kissing your clit, shocks electricity still coming from his mouth, he gave no warning when he plunged two of his fingers into your clenching depths, instantly finding that special spot within you. As if he had a map. Which really wasn’t fair, especially as he released more shocks against your clit and spot in tandem, ripping another orgasm from your body in quick succession. Your conscience never stood a chance when Denki had claimed every nerve, every thought, every breathe.

Licking his lips, Denki rose to his feet so that he stood between your thighs. Grabbing your chin with one hand while releasing his dick from his pants with the other, never breaking eye contact. “Y/N” your name like a prayer on his tongue as he nudged your clit with the head of his dick, his hand stroking himself as he used your slick. “I am taking you with me puppy, wont need anyone but me” and with those words he pushed inside of you, moving his hands to your waist to pull you even closer.

Shocks from his quirk along with the way he slammed himself into your cervix, eyes still locked together had you coming undone around his cock. Fucked dumb, you don’t even remember gripping onto his shoulders, “you know puppy” Denki groans into your ears “your hands were supposed to stay on the bed. But don’t worry baby, we got time to train you on how to be a good girl for me later.” His voice in your ear combined with the relentless pounding into you, electricity dancing in and around your body, wrapping around you like hands had you coming again. Your eyes rolling back, whimpering at the blend of pain and pleasure, not sure how long you were going to be able to grasp consciousness.

You weren’t even completely done with the orgasm rolling through you before you felt the next one building. Denki was like the fucking energizer puppy, as you fluttered and gripped around his cock he started to pound faster, something you weren’t even sure was possible.

“Go on puppy, give me one more”

The fabric of his shirt against your nipples, his teeth and lips marking your neck and shoulders, your body electric with the waves of yellow lighting shocking against your skin at his every touch had your final orgasm exploding within you. Body alive with the white shock of blinding pleasure you barely registered Denki whispering your name or the feeling of his warm cum painting your inner walls. All you could register was the softness of your comforter against your back as you fell against it, darkness blurring your vision as you succumbed to sleep, and the whispered promise.

“I am taking you with me.”

#villain denki #overstimulation #BrivetWritings #mha x reader smut #denki x reader #Brivet Writings #Brivet Filth

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