#but I also don’t get to have a say in what we eat 90% of the time unless I make it (which I can’t because I have homework) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writersblog20 · 1 year

Text

Pancakes and a Milkshake

Pedro Pascal x reader

Summary: When everything gets a little bit too much and you have a slight moment of crisis, Pedro comes to the rescue with pancakes and a milkshake. Who would’ve thought what pancakes and milkshakes could bring you

Warnings: mention of anxiety and stress, edibles and smoking weed, reader gets picked up in her sleep by Pedro, vomiting because of stress, mention of a nightmare, calming medication

Words: 3,6K

A/N: So this is actually happening and I just can’t…. I need Pedro to take me out for pancakes and a milkshake and comfort me because I don’t know how I’ll survive on Monday. Please wish me luck and pray for me that I won’t make a fool out of myself

Pancakes and Milkshakes🥞🍨

To say you were stressed was an understatement. You were in the midst of exams and school made it way more troubled than it had to be. For example, they just told you that you had to have a conversation with an potential client from the branch where you wanted to go in. So you had to ask your boss, the one you unfortunately fell in love with. You had to choose him because that would be the most obvious decision and it would help you with your grade.

But now you were panicking and stressing about it for obvious reasons. For starters, you weren’t only dealing with the stress and anxiety about your oral exams but also the stress and anxiety with seeing your boss again, for the first time in a very long time, knowing that those feelings come rushing back and you really weren’t waiting for that.

Anyway, the point is, you were beyond exhausted and stressed yourself out to no point. Pedro saw it and wanted to help you but you shut yourself off. You were even counting the days. If it was just an oral exam with your teacher you wouldn’t have 90% of the stress that you were experiencing now.

Pedro stayed with you for a while so he could film in the location without renting a house. You and Pedro met on a set where you helped your uncle and you both hit it off right from the bat. You have never felt comfortable so fast with someone you just met. So when days passed and Pedro told you about the terrible place he was renting, you offered him a room in your house. Pedro didn’t want to be a burden so with some back and forth, you finally convinced him that he wouldn’t be a burden and that you would actually enjoy some company.

So that’s how we got to this point. You and Pedro had some amazing days already. You cooked together, watched some sitcoms and movies that he wanted you to see and it was just amazing. You couldn’t explain how you felt so incredibly comfortable around him. Yeah he definitely deserved the title zaddy from the internet.

So today was a lazy day. But as the days grew closer, the higher your anxiety and stress got to you. You weren’t sleeping well, felt physically sick and drained to the bone. Pedro could see it from a mile away. The bags underneath your eyes and the how much you’ve clenched your jaw that it was even visible when you weren’t clenching. Yeah you were a mess. You did tell Pedro the situation but you couldn’t bring yourself to open up more. That wasn’t because of Pedro. No it was because you didn’t want to say it out loud because if you did, then it would be real so you kept it shut because you really did believe that this was the way to keep in control of the situation when the day would come.

Pedro made some dinner but you really had no appetite. It was silent at the table and Pedro kept a close eye on you while eating the pasta he made and drank some of his wine. “You know what we should do?” he asked you with a smirk on his face and a playful undertone. You looked up and chuckled slightly at his mischievous look. “Edibles….. Or smoke a joint. Doesn’t really matter but why don’t we get high tonight?” he asked you and you chuckled a little, sitting back in your chair, looking at Pedro to see if he was serious, which he was. His face said it all with the raised eyebrow and playful smile on his face.

You looked down and thought about it. “Yeah, why not. At this point I’ll do anything to feel a bit relaxed.” You chuckled. Pedro immediately got a big smile on his face and leaned more forward. “Okay, so I got gummy bears, lollypops, even cotton candy and of course normal weed.” You chuckled. “I’ll think I’ll smoke a joint and maybe take a gummy bear” You told him with a smirk and took a sip of your red wine. Pedro smiled “Alright then.”

After dinner, you cleaned the kitchen since Pedro cooked. He came downstairs with the edible and weed. “You know how to roll sweetheart?” Pedro asked you. You shook your head “No just how to put everything in and crush it but not how to roll.” Pedro nodded with a soft smile “Alright, I’ll show you.” you smiled and nodded. You searched for a vinyl to listen to and put it on the record player. Pedro smiled as he heard the tune. You put some blues on for now and sat next to Pedro.

You had a pretty cozy livingroom to say the least. A lot of things were from wood so it gave a cabin vibe but a bit bigger and a little more luxurious because of the kitchen and how big your house was. It wasn’t a very big house, more regular but still bigger than a cabin if you know what I mean. The candles illuminated both of your faces while Pedro showed you how to roll a joint. He gave you one so could try it but obviously it wasn’t so easy the first time and Pedro saw your frustration and chuckled softly, taking it from you. “It’s okay babe, it almost never happens that you get it the first time. It takes practice.” You nodded. You filled the joint and let Pedro roll it so you were still doing something.

You put on the fireplace since it started snowing pretty bad and sat back in your place, your feet up on the table just like Pedro. He gave you a gummy and you clinked it as if it was a wine glass. You both chuckled and ate the edibles before smoking the joint, passing it over to each other. You leaned your head on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. You could already feel some of the tension leave your body and making you feel fuzzy.

You and Pedro started chatting about everything and listening to the music with some laughter in between because of the high. After a while you decided to watch a movie while Pedro lit the other joint. He could see that you were trying to lay down comfortably on the couch but was failing miserably. “Come here, princess. Rest your head on my lap.” He told you softly and scooted closer to you, taking a blanket and a pillow with him. He placed the pillow on his lap as you turned around to lay your head on his lap. When you finally laid down comfortably, he placed the blanket over your body. You held a part of his leg, for some more comfort and Pedro was completely fine with that.

Pedro softly went with his hand over your head and an adoring smile on his face. “This better princess?” You nodded softly, completely relaxed and high at this point. “Yeah, this is very nice. Thank you.” you mumbled a bit and Pedro had that same soft smile on his face. He bended forward a bit so he could place a kiss on your head. Pedro started the movie and now and then passed you the joint. This wasn’t the first time smoking a joint so you knew how much you could take and handle.

Pedro had his arm resting around your body and you felt so safe, relaxed and comfortable with him that you started to feel fuzzy inside and not from the weed this time. Pedro softly rubbed your arm while being glued to the tv. Your eyes started to get heavy and it was a losing battle so you just closed them, falling into a deep slumber.

~time skip~

You woke up from a nightmare and you sat straight up, rubbing your face. You looked around and saw that you were in your room. Pedro must’ve brought you to bed. You were sweating and your breathing was uneven when all the panic and stress started rushing back to you, making you almost sick to your stomach.

You quickly struggled to get out of bed and to the bathroom, clinging to the toilet and threw everything out. This wasn’t new to you. When you were in a serious amount of stress, it would make you physically ill. Once you were done, you flushed the toilet and brushed your teeth before making your way downstairs to get your calming meds.

You went into the kitchen and struggled to search for your meds with shaky hands until you heard Pedro’s voice. “You looking for these sweetheart?” he asked you softly and you quickly looked at him before slowly nodding. He gave them to you with a sad smile. “Where did you get these?” you asked him. “I saw that you placed them in your bag and figured that you forgot to take them out.” You nodded and took them with a glass of water. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?” you asked him softly, feeling guilty.

“Don’t worry about that princess. Let me make you a cup of tea. Go sit on the couch sweetheart.” He told you, making you nod. You made your way to the couch and stared out of your window. The whole city was covered white while more was still falling from the sky. You felt some sort of serenity and calmness floating over you. Snow always had that effect on you.

Before you knew it Pedro sat next to you with the tea. “Thank you P, but you don’t have to stay with me. You need sleep.” You told him, looking at him for a minute and then stared out of the window again. Pedro looked at you in all seriousness. “Y/N, You are more important to me. I’ll stay as long as needed princess. Talk to me.” he told you the last part soft.

You felt fuzzy from what he said to you and you gave him a sad smile but stayed silent. Pedro noticed and nodded before scooping closer to you. “Come here than.” He told you and you were aching for some comfort. Pedro already had his arms open for you as a hint. You climbed over Pedro and sat besides him, your legs over his while the side of your body was tightly against his. His arms wrapped around you. He tucked your head softly underneath his chin and gave a kiss on your head. And that was it. Both staying silent but still he provided all the comfort he could and let’s be real, you really, like really needed this.

You started to calm down a bit. “I’m a bit hungry… but like hungry for fast food…” Pedro suddenly spoke out. You looked up at him confused. “I think we should get some pancakes…. Maybe a milkshake with that?” he hinted with a soft smile. You thought about it and smiled at the idea. “Yeah, that sounds nice.” Your voice so soft that you weren’t sure if he heard you or not. “Okay, let’s get some pancakes, sweetheart. I know I great place that’s open 24/7.” Just with the line “Let’s get some pancakes.” Was an opening to your heart.

You got off Pedro’s lap and stood up. You were wearing an oversized hoodie and joggings, and Pedro was wearing some pajamas with a funny design. You looked down at the two of you. “Don’t worry, we don’t have to change.” You nodded and to be honest, you couldn’t give a fuck about your clothes right now. Pedro smiled and threw his arm around your shoulders, leading you outside and towards his car. You stepped in and now you saw what time it actually was. 2 AM. Pedro noticed and saw how your face fell a bit. “Hey, like I said, you are more important. Besides, I can’t pass up on pancakes with you, are you kidding me?” he made the situation lighter and achieved to get a smile on your face. “Let’s get some pancakes than.” You told him back with a soft but confident smile.

“There’s my girl.” He chuckled, making you smile shyly as he drove off. It didn’t take long to arrive. This was a side of the city that you never really went so seeing this restaurant was a positive surprise. It was like a diner straight from the 80’s. pink everywhere, jukeboxes and everything. You smiled at Pedro who held out his hand for you to grab which you happily applied to do so.

You both walked in, still wearing the pajama’s. It was a sight on its own but you wouldn’t want it any other way. You both sat down in the retro seats. You were happy that they had the lights lower so it gave off a homey and nice vibe.

The waitress walked your way and took your orders. Pancakes and a big strawberry milkshake. When she walked away, Pedro leaned backwards and looked at you. “Princess, I need you to talk to me. bobbling this up, is not going to work. Let me help you carry some of the weight. I might not be able to take it away but then I know how I can help and support you.” Pedro sat more forwards as he took your cold hands in his. Pedro started rubbing them, trying to warm them up. You took a deep sigh and decided to just open up. Maybe it’ll work and if not, then you don’t have that much to lose.

You started telling him about it all. Where it started, what is bothering you right now and what’s going on in your own head. Pedro listened intently to your story, keeping eye contact and held your hands, softly drawing circles with his thumb on the back of your hand. “We’ll get through this and I’ll be besides you with every step. I know it might not help a lot but I want you to know that I am certain that you will nail this. You are too amazing and you are so much stronger than you think. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen you and this… I know this is a big deal right now, but I know that you are going to get through this with a good grade. Otherwise, I’ll come to your school and make a scene.” He told the last part to lift the heaviness off.

You chuckled slightly which left a smile on Pedro’s face. “You know I’ll do it!” he told you, making you laugh, knowing he was serious. You nodded. “I know all of that but it’s just the feelings. Feelings aren’t rational, at least not in this moment.” Pedro nodded. “But this helps.” You told him with a soft smile which he returned. You felt that fuzzy feeling inside again when he smiled at you with those soft kind eyes, his bed hair and his silly pajamas which you actually loved a lot.

You took a deep sigh as your meds started to kick in. You nodded “I got this. I just need to survive the days following up to it.” Pedro smiled. “and I’ll help with that, I promise.” He told you and took your hand to his lips and placed a kiss on them, making you smile.

The food arrived with the milkshake that you and Pedro would share. You giggled at how old fashioned it looked and absolutely loved it. It even had a red cherry on top with some sprinkles on the whipped cream. “This looks amazing.” You told him with a smile and looked him. Pedro had that same mischievous smile on his face as he had before. He opened his palm and you saw two gummy bears. You looked at him with a grin and took one. “Cheers” you said as you clinked the gummy’s together and put it in your mouth, Pedro mirroring you.

You didn’t have to worry about Pedro driving because it would probably kick in when you arrived home. ( Edibles take a while sometimes.) You devoured the pancakes, now realizing how hungry you actually were. Pedro smiled, seeing how content you were. Both giggling while you shared the milkshake. You both joked around a little and you felt the stress lifting off of you. When you were done, Pedro paid while you put your coat on. Pedro came back and had something in his hands which made you curios but he put it behind his back. “It’s a surprise.” He told you with a smile. You knew he wasn’t telling you right now so you let it go. “Thank you P. For everything.” You told him and he smiled. “Everything for my favorite girl in the world.” You felt flustered and saw that Pedro was blushing and had a shy smile upon his lips.

You stepped in the car and instead of driving home, he drove to an empty field. You frowned a bit, not knowing what was going on. You’ve been here a million times before and it was close to your house but you didn’t understand why you were here.

You looked confused at Pedro, who smiled. “I know that the snow relaxes you, so this is the perfect spot to drink our extra Slurpee’s I got and smoke a joint before we go inside.” You smiled brightly. Pedro knew you too well. He gave you a couple cd’s so you could pick out the music while Pedro put his feet up on the dashboard and put the windows just a bit down. It was now a bit past 3AM but you couldn’t explain how much this has helped you. If you were still at home than you were a 100% certain that you would have a panic attack and a really bad one at that.

You both stared at the snow falling down while slurping on the Slurpee’s and sharing the joint while listening to the music. “P…?” Pedro looked at you. “Could you maybe stay with me tonight? In case the nightmares come back?” you asked him softly and he just smiled, kissing the top of your head. “Of course I will princess.” You smiled softly and stared in front of you again.

“You ready to go home?” he asked you as it was 4 AM now. You nodded with a yawn, which made Pedro laugh as he drove the last 3 minutes to your house. He opened the door and you shivered as you walked in the house. “Do you want to sleep here or in your bedroom? I really don’t mind.” You nodded but almost felt guilty. “Can we sleep here?” you asked him, feeling like a burden. “So a sleepover! Of course! I’ll get the pillows and blankets! You search for a good movie okay?” Pedro’s excitement washed away your negative feelings. You loved how childlike he sometimes could be but in a good way.

You put the couch out (you could put it out and make a bed from it). Pedro came downstairs but wasn’t even visible behind all the pillows and blankets. You chuckled and helped him out. You both tried to make the bed but you were both as high as a kite. So try making a bed and not fall into a fit of laughter. Finally, you both got the couch to work as a bed. Pedro swinged his arms up as an achievement which made you chuckle.

You laid down and got the tv remote, Pedro joining you. You both put on a movie that interested you both and when it started, it was time to get comfortable. You turned towards Pedro and he already held his arm up so you could lay down on his chest. You held his pajama tightly in your hand while his arm was wrapped around you, pulling you closer. You watched the movie a bit but felt yourself grow tired again. “Thank you for being my favorite person on this earth.” You told Pedro, who chuckled. “And you too for also being my favorite person princess.” He told you and pressed a kiss on your head, pulling you close and let out a deep sigh from relaxation.

The panic and stress wasn’t going away but with Pedro by your side, you knew it was going to be okay. And maybe now, you didn’t have to worry about the feelings towards your boss anymore because Pedro had your heart in his hands, and you trusted him with everything you got. So in the end, it actually worked out and your negative feelings were reduced and positive feelings got into that place.

You finally fell asleep in Pedro’s arms in a deep, peaceful sleep, feeling as if you were in the safest place on earth. And all of that because of some pancakes and a milkshake. One thing was for sure, the universe has it’s own crazy and funny way of how things would go.

#pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascale oneshot #pedro pascal one shot #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x ofc #pedro pascal x female original character #pedro pascal fandom

1K notes · View notes

sweeneydino · 3 months

Note

*BIG INHALE* Hi! I’ve been rotating the Spikeangelo au in my brain for a while, and things might get incomprehensible real quick. Not all questions, some just comments... 90% of this is just musing as the train of thought jumps rails and causes massive casualties; no need to answer all if you chose to answer any.

1. The fact that Master Splinter lets Titan live with them BEFORE he knows that he’s a version of Mikey, even after the attempted murder… man will look at a mutated turtle, ask, “Is anyone going to adopt that?” and not wait for an answer.

2. In Turtle Temper, Splinter says, “Spike, chew on your leaf if you are in the mood for a story”. Ronin has a choice here: pest Raph by eating, or troll Splinter by not. What choice would he make?

3. It seems like during the Slash and Destroy episode, Titan already had his outfit. If so… where did he get the clothes? The little turtles don’t really wear anything (and their clothes would be much smaller), so unless Splinter has a secret goth wardrobe, the only thing I can think of is that Raph is Very Optimistic about how tall he’s going to get, and has stockpiled clothes accordingly.

4. A while back you mentioned Titan “chewing [Shredder] out” after Shredder kills Splinter during the Triceraton invasion. The image you drew made it look like a tirade, but the first thing that came to mind for me was… more along the lines of using Shredder as a dog toy.

5. You said that after Slash and Destroy, Titan hides for a while out of shame. When does he rejoin the others? Before the invasion, *during* the invasion, after? Does he join the farmhouse arc, or does he do as canon Slash does and defend NYC while the rest of the turtles are gone?

Ah... there's a very long part six that's just about the ghosts... I don't think I'll be bothering you with that today.

When I see these types of asks, I can never control the squeal that comes out of my mouth. I love detailed analyses about my aus

I also love completing things, so let's do them all!

1) Yep! Idk whats with the Splinters, but if it's turtle-shaped and needs a home, well say no more!

When Spike turned to Titan, Splinter already sensed something off with him, something more familiar than a family pet, but he would never figure out why until their lair is attacked by the kraang at the start of the invasion.

It's hard not to realize that your son's former pet knows moves (and shows a strange amount of wisdom) that you're 90% sure you never taught or shown to any of your sons.

I think he's still upset about the pizza. Or Raph's anger.

3)Dumpster diving?

I'll be honest, I forgot to write it down... So we will stick to this simple solution for now🗿

Okay, well... Shredder ALMOST became a dog toy. Let's just say that (this will totally not be a future comic)

5) He reunites with them after the newtralizer arc! After a little convincing ofc

When the invasion begins, he's with Splinter and Leatherhead, having defended their home and now searching for the turtles. They find Shredder after they exit the sewer, and Titan isn't too pleased to see the old bastard, attacking him in a rage once he hears about Leo's possible "demise."

Unfortunately, when he gains the upper hand, Titan is the one caught off guard and knocked into the machine, crushed by the pipes.

Before Shredder could really begin his usual evil monologue, he becomes distracted with Leatherhead, allowing Splinter to check on Titan and help him out of the pile of metal. Despite the likelihood of having a huge bruise on his ribs, he'd be fine. Even better if he could get rid of all their issues right there in front of him.

The one wrestling an alligator. And somehow winning.

And when he sees that devil in that all too familiar armor toss leatherhead into the pit, he's all too ready to kill him.

Yet he can't. Because He's not the only one wanting to prevent the past from happening again.

Splinter sends him away to find his sons, Titan's brothers - well, sorta - and even if he wants to bring Oroku Saki, the worse pain imaginable, he's more concerned if they are okay.

...

Okay, well, if the rest of them are okay

COUGH COUGH.

He'd find them, with him.

And uh. I think Leo's perfectly fine.

So when they decided to leave for April's farmhouse, he stayed in the city to search for Splinter and the other Mutanimals after leaving Leo with the others.

Maybe he sees himself as a burden.

Then the rest you make up on the way 👍 /j

This was very fun! Maybe I should just write paragraphs or smol little chapters with much more detail and flow🤔

Nah, I'll just draw.

Can't wait for the looooooooooonnngggg part six :D

150 notes · View notes

nhlclover · 1 year

Text

textbook | trevor zegras

word count: 0.65k

summary: while you’re studying for an important exam, your boyfriend decides you need a break

warnings: mentions of sex

notes: btw the LSAT is the law school admissions test!

My various LSAT books were scattered across the dining table, papers thrown in here and there. There was not a piece of the table that wasn’t covered in law material, forcing Trevor to eat in the living room. My back was killing me and my eyes were so strained. I desperately needed a break, but I also couldn’t afford to take one. I was on a roll and the LSAT was in less than a week.

I read over the question this particular practice test was asking me, trying to make sense of it. I furrowed my eyebrows not totally understanding it. Fuck. I re-read it over and over until I could see the text with my eyes closed. I rubbed my eyes, sighing heavily. I could feel Trevor’s eyes on me from across the room, but don’t dare look at him knowing that if I did, I would end up getting distracted. So, I keep my head in my hands, reading the passage again.

The whole week he’s been trying to convince me to take a break but I consistently tell him I can’t. This is my one chance to do the test this year. Sure, I could always take it again next year but that would be another $200 down the drain and a year of my career I cannot get back.

Suddenly, the textbook is ripped out from under my face. I look up and see Trevor holding the textbook in front of him, reading the page.

“What the fuck are they talking about?” He asked himself.

“Trevor give me my textbook back.” I demand with a little more anger in my voice than I mean. I soften my tone a little when I speak next. “I need to study.”

“You need to take a break and spend time with your boyfriend.” He tells me, stepping away from the table.

“Trevor.” I groan, standing up and following him into the living room.

“Listen I am so excited to have a super smart hot sexy lawyer girlfriend, but if you don’t take a break you will combust and never become a super smart hot sexy lawyer.” He says.

I nearly smile but push that down, giving him a pointed look. “I need to keep studying.”

“Y/n, you’ve studied enough.” He sighs. “I’ve marked so many of those practice tests for you and you’ve got 90% on all of them.”

“Then that means I have room to improve.” I tell him.

Trevor throws his head back, letting out a loud groan. “Y/n this is exactly what I mean! You’re so fucking smart and you’ll do great on the test. But that’s only going to happen if you let your mind rest as well.” Trevor tells me. I start to understand that he’s right. “You know, like how I nap on game day! My body’s gonna be working a bunch later, so I gotta nap earlier to balance it out.”

I let out a laugh at Trevor’s comparison. I decided that I will take a break, but only after I get this question figured out and answered. I stick out my hand towards Trevor. “Textbook, please.” I say.

Trevor huffs. “I will give you your textbook back…”

“Thank you.” I say.

“...If you come over here and make me.” He smirks.

I stare back at him, giving him an unimpressed look, to which he grins, shaking the textbook in my face. I give in and walk over to Trevor, standing right in front of him. “How do I get that textbook back?” I ask softly, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

“I can think of something we could go do in the bedroom.” He says, tossing my textbook onto the couch.

“But that’s not giving my body a rest.” I counter, reminding him of what he said minutes ago.

Trevor smiles at me. “It is if you let me do all the work.”

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey #anaheim ducks #luvzegras

444 notes · View notes

distorted59 · 8 months

Note

I need Danish Gremlin Lars headcanons so bad right now plsssss

Hi!!! first of all, I'm sorry it took a little while, hope you enjoy!! <3 and again, thanks for asking!

Loves it when you play with his hands! we all know this man has incredible hands, esp with all that tape around his fingers, lord have mercy.

Would absolutely love to teach you to play the drums

He WOULD tease you with his drumsticks, i fucking know it, this man is a kinky mf.

Like, he would slide one over the inside of your thigh and the other one over your neck and breasts.

THE TAPE AROUND HIS FINGERS STAYS ON!!! (need i say more)

He’d whisper sweet things to you in Danish, whenever he’s proud of you or when he tells you he loves you.

ALSO, during sex???? and he’d go all crazy cus it all just feels so, so good???

I feel like he’s quite dominant, maybe in his early years (‘81-‘84) he’d be a little bendable (not literally, but who knows?). But, in the 90’s he’d be FERAL.

Like I said earlier, I feel like he’s a kinky mf. Exhibitionism, he likes to get freaky in public. He loves getting praised, he wants to hear how good he is at something. Pleasing you, playing drums, cooking, mowing the fucking lawn. He doesn’t mind, please fulfill his ego.

Small dick, but the energy is BIG.

Has stamina for DAYZZZZ!!!

He would fuck you on his drumset, i can just imagine him eating you out and hitting the kickdrum while doing so. (IM SORRY I HAD TO)

I feel like early 80’s Lars is a real sweetheart, maybe still a little shy but definitely runs his mouth. 90’s Lars has no fucking filter, he’s cocky, arrogant, gets whatever he wants and takes whatever he wants.

Loves to just be around you, showing you he’s here. You’d watch him and the boys rehearse and he would squeeze your hand or your thigh, flashing you small smiles and giving you kisses here and there.

“You still with us, darling?” He squeezes your thigh, smiling with those adorable dimples of his.

"Hm?" You dozed off a little, but his fingers sliding to the inside of your thigh keep you very awake.

“Are you enjoying watching us, babe?” Lars grins.

“Oh, yeah.” You nod. “You’re doing great, baby.”

“You think so?” He smirks proudly, his fingers tracing circles over your soft skin. “You like watching me play?”

“Mhm.” You hum and smile down at his hand. Already knowing what you two will be doing later.

He would take you to Denmark, showing you his hometown and places he went to as a kid. His childhood home (which is now a fertility clinic I believe, lol) and his school, where he played tennis as a boy.

He loves art so he would take you on little museum trips and years later to these auctions where he would sell the pieces from his home for millions of dollars, (SKOM docu).

Loves bragging to people about you. “My girl is great, she’s the prettiest woman i know.” and "Well, my girl loves playing the drums with me." <3

You know those bandanas he wore in the 80’s? Yeah, tying your wrists up with them or putting it in your mouth to prevent you from moaning too loud <3.

He is a little fruity tho. (so threesome with Kirk maybe? yes/no?)

Load/Reload era, this man wore some heavy eyeliner. I can see him asking you for a little help.

He’s in the bathroom, trying to figure out what the fuck to do here.

“Babe, could you help me out here?” He holds up the pencil and gives you puppy dog eyes.

“With what, baby?” you walk into the bathroom and look at him, slight confusion written over your face. “Is that my eyeliner?”

“It’s for the new album!” He protests. “We got a new look, ya know?”

“What, cutting your hair wasn’t enough?” You tease him and sit on the sink counter.

You take the eyeliner from his hands and pull him closer by his shirt, you wrap your legs around his waist and make him look at you by holding his chin.

“Okay, close your eyes.”

He obliges and you softly apply the liner just above his lash line. He squints a little and breathes out through his nose.

“Don’t move, baby.” You scold him.

“Sorry, It feels a little weird.” a wide smile spreads on his face.

“Look up for me.”

He does what he tells you, looking at you before he looks up entirely. You apply some under his waterline, smudging the edges gently with your fingers.

“All done, babe.” You kiss his lips softly.

He smiles into the kiss and murmurs a “thank you” against your lips. He checks himself out in the mirror behind you and grins.

“Wow, I look sexy!”

“Larzy Poo” - James Hetfield, 2023

217 notes · View notes

adorethedistance · 1 year

Text

Black and White - Mat Barzal x Reader

Hockey Masterlist

Warnings: Swearing, mentions anxiety, almost pg13

Words: 1385

Summary: After attending one of the isles’ many fundraising events, a simple walk in the park turns into a moment the two of you will never forget.

A/n: I’m like 90% done with finals and so I’m filling this anonymous request as a result. I hope y’all like this quick little fic and as an update there’s a fluffy Zegras fic in the works.

“Thank you for coming with me tonight,” Mat says from behind a fleeting scoop of bubblegum ice cream. The Islanders fundraising gala was fun and all but Mat and I dipped out before closing remarks in favor of grabbing ice cream before Baskin Robbins closed. So now we’re walking around a random park, black tie attire, in the cold Long Island night.

“You don’t have to thank me, I’m your girlfriend. Being your plus one is part of the gig, and I’m more than happy to do it.” Mat lets go of my hand to lift his arm and gesture me over. I gladly accept the warmth as I’m nearly freezing from walking around at night in a light coat while eating ice cream. He hugs me into his side and kisses my cheek gently. I breathe a small laugh as his lips are still cold.

“How do you know if you want to marry someone?” Mat asks out of nowhere. I hesitate for a second, jarred by his candidness.

“Are you asking me specifically or like the general ‘you’?”

“I’m asking you specifically.” I pause to collect my thoughts and Mat watches me carefully.

“...Well…I think for me specifically…I want an equal relationship where I feel like I lean on them as much as they lean on me for support. I want someone who respects my boundaries and knows I’m their partner and not their therapist. Whoever it is will get along with my family and at the very least tolerate my friends,” we share a small laugh amidst the tense moment. “I want someone who understands how I give love and helps me understand how to give them love and- why are you looking at me like that?” Mat barks out a nervous laugh. He takes his arm off of my shoulders and messes with his hair a bit. One of his nervous habits that I’m not sure he realizes he has.

“Do you think… I meet those requirements?” I hesitate but only because I’m trying to remember everything that I said.

“Yes, I think you do.” Mat smiles relieved before taking my hand in his own once more, placing a kiss on the top of it. We continue through the park, heading back to the car when a sudden flash of light catches our attention. Looking to the source, we see that a gazebo covered in christmas lights had previously not been lit. I snap my head around to look at Mat and the look on his face tells me he already knows just how excited I am about it.

“I don’t know how I didn’t notice this before!” I say as I’m pulling Mat along with me. His pace was too casual for the kind of urgency this sight has instilled in me. As we get closer, someone stands up and I stop in my place. I don’t want to impose on someone else’s time with the pretty lights. Opening my mouth to speak, I immediately cut myself off when I recognize the not so unfamiliar stranger.

“Beau?” I ask when he turns around. He looks at me, slightly panicked. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh my god, no way!” I hear a woman’s voice from behind me and Mat. I turn around to see it’s Emma emerging from a weird angle. She’s coming at us from behind rather than from the parking lot or from the shops.

“Long time no see,” I joke, happy to see our friends despite just spending the last three hours with them. “What’s up? Are you guys also on a walk… at the same park?” Beau and Emma share a look before she gestures him over to where she’s standing.

“Yeah, I was telling him about this gazebo because I drove by one night and the lights were just so pretty I wanted to show him.”

“Gotcha. Well if you want, I can take some cute pictures of the two of you!” I offer happily and Emma and Beau share another look.

“That… would be great, thank you! Beau?” She looks at him and nods over to the gazebo. He looks at Mat with the most confused look I’ve ever seen.

“You okay?” I ask as Emma hands me her phone. She has to physically walk over and grab Beau which snaps him back into reality.

“Yeah I’m good,” he replies quietly and walks into the gazebo. Emma barely poses and I’m about to snap the third photo when she breaks away and walks over to get her phone from me.

“That should be good, thank you.”

“Are you sure? I only took like three-”

“Yeah, no, we’re good! Your turn!” She says urgently and nudges me toward the gazebo. I decide not to push back and when I turn to beckon Mat over, he doesn’t follow.

“I’ll hold your coat so you can get outfit pictures first.” I reluctantly nod and then shrug off my jacket. Why is everyone being so weird?

“You gotta hurry because I am FREEZING!” I instruct Emma and she laughs before nodding.

“Copy that.”

“Okay, I want full fit and shoes for some and then just waist up in the others,” I speak quickly before posing and trying not to shiver violently. “Fuuuuuucckk it’s so cold.” All three of them laugh at my dramatics. Mat shakes his head amusedly and then hands my coat to Beau so he can get in the pictures. He wraps an arm around my waist for a few pictures and Emma snaps approximately two before putting on her director hat.

“Okay, Y/n stay where you are. Mat can I have you stand to the side of her but take a tiny little step back?”

“How should I pose without him…?” I ask skeptically. I don’t think I can see the creative vision and I hope Mat is also a little lost so I don’t just look like an idiot. When I turn to see if he’s also puzzled, I don’t get the moment I’m hoping for. Rather than sharing a confused look and laughing about it, I find him placed just out of my line of sight on one knee with one hand tucked into his jacket pocket.

My eyes go wide for a millisecond before welling up so full of tears that I can no longer see. I hold my right hand over my mouth to keep myself from crying harder. Mat has small tears in his eyes as he holds a small velvet box the color of the Isles signature blue.

“Y/n… you are the love of my life. I remember the first time you came over to my apartment. It was date number four. I made us dinner and you went to the bathroom and when you came back you were very anxious.” I laugh through my tears as I recall the evening and how the story went.

“You were acting weird the entire night and when I asked what was wrong, you were silent for a minute before asking if I “actually” used 3-in-1 shampoo. I laughed so hard I nearly cried and from that moment on, I knew you were endgame.” His simple word choice makes me laugh and the swelling of emotions in my chest makes me forget just how cold I was before.

“Y/n Y/l/n, will you marry me?” I begin to sob so uncontrollably that I can’t speak so I just nod an emphatic yes. Mat smiles brightly before taking the ring out of the box and sliding it onto it’s permanent spot on my left hand.

I don’t even wait for him to stand up before grabbing his face and kissing him with the passion only two people madly in love could ever know. He kisses me back and places his hands on my waist. Emma and Beau cheer and I remember they’ve been here the whole time.

“You motherfuckers! You knew, didn’t you?” They laugh at my outburst and confirm my suspicion. Mat rises to his full height and when he’s standing I playfully shove his chest. “That’s why you were being so weird today!”

“How does it feel to be engaged, man?” Beau asks and Mat huffs a long sigh.

“I don’t know, I think I blacked out.”

497 notes · View notes

borathae · 2 months

Text

“Being a sorcerer has always been Hoseok’s dream. So when a well-known and powerful sorceress sends out letters informing the young minds of the city of an upcoming position as her apprentice, Hoseok takes fate into his own hands and applies. The only problem is that learning the arts of magic is reserved for women. He is convinced however that hard work and effort can charm the sorceress’ heart and get him the position.”

Pairing: Magic Student!Hoseok x Magic Student!Reader

Genre: Fantasy!AU, Magic School!AU, s2f2potential lovers!AU, Romance

Warnings: lots of plot, 90% of this is written from Hoseok’s POV, Queendom!Tae being the bestest friend, they’re both so adorable, the students are mean to him at first :(, except for reader heheh she is a sweetheart <3, also idk if this is important but i got inspired by Elden Ring as far as some names are concerned istfg best game <3, this will have a second part where reader’s pov plays a bigger part and the romance is gonna be bigger as well <3, for now this story is very magic & Hobi’s journey to magic centered, but also some romantic tension is present as well hngngn, istfg i love this universe

Wordcount: 6.5k of 24.3k

✴ Part Two of Two ✴

Hoseok returns to the school with new energy. Spending the days with Taehyung truly helped him see the bright side of things again. He knows that he can do it. Hoseok is motivated to find his connection.

Two weeks however pass and Hoseok still fails to find his connection. His fellow students have already managed the second step each and proved their worth, while he still struggled to connect. The motivation of once has long died out again.

It is dinner time, but Hoseok is not in the eating hall.

“Have you seen Hoseok?” Ainar asks you and Ash.

“I haven’t.”

“I haven’t either.”

“Do you believe that he is alright? He looked very sad after class today.”

“I think it really saddens him that he cannot connect to the magic”, Ash says, “poor Hoseok, I truly wish for him to find it.”

“Yes, me too”, Ainar agrees.

“I am most certain that he will. He has to. With the test coming up”, you say.

“What do you think will happen to him if he cannot connect until then?”

Nobody dares to speak, eventhough all of you share the same thought. That if Hoseok fails, it could mean that he will have to pack his belongings and leave this school. A kind heart will only prove one worthy for that long before the missing skill catches up with one. Hoseok might have the kindness a great sorcerer should posses, but if he cannot access the magic, it means that he is simply that. A kind person. Nobody dares to speak these thoughts however because you truly wanted the best for him.

Ainar moved into your room after Becca had to leave. Ash voiced her deep regrets for her behaviour in the beginning and confessed that she was too scared to stand up to Becca in fear of being excluded. Hoseok forgave her and then offered her a piece of chocolate. Ever since then, your little group has been good friends. If you weren’t practicing or studying, you spend many hours laughing and talking in your shared sitting room. You think that Hoseok has the most wonderful laugh and the most thrilling stories to tell. His absence would truly be painful and none of you want his leave.

You agree to take dinner back to your bed chamber so Hoseok wouldn’t have to go to sleep hungry. Tomorrow will be a busy day as you will have potion class with sorceress Zenith and her lectures are always very draining. Hoseok needs to eat something unless he wants to faint.

He isn’t in the shared sitting room and so you knock on your bed chamber.

“Mhm.”

You open the door, Ash and Ainar follow.

“Hoseok? We brought you dinner.”

“I am not hungry.”

Hoseok lies in his bed with the blanket pulled over his head and his back turned to the door.

“You must eat. We have sorceress Zenith tomorrow. You will suffer if you don’t eat something.”

“I am not going to class tomorrow.”

“What? Why?”

“But you love potion class”, Ash says.

“You say it always brings you joy”, Ainar insists.

“I don’t want to.”

You pull the blanket off his head. He whips around and tries to grab for it.

“Don’t. Just leave me be”, he complains.

“We worry for you.”

“Don’t you want to try the food? It is very delicious tonight”, Ainar tries.

Hoseok eyes it, then his friends. They look so worried for him. He gives up with a sigh, sitting up in his bed. He accepts the bowl of fresh fish stew and the piece of white bread with it.

“May we sit down?”

Hoseok nods his head. You sit down on his bed next to him, paying him company like this.

“You will be able to do it”, Ash says.

“Today was just the first day of the week and you still have three moons to prepare for the test. I am very positive that you will manage until then.”

“And if I won’t? We all know what this will mean. That I will lose my spot at this school. What good is a magic student who cannot even connect to his magic?”

You exchange a look with the others. One Hoseok notices. He sags his shoulders in defeat.

“Perhaps I should already pack my belongings and leave, before I embarrass myself.”

“No, don’t speak like this. You will be able to do it. I just know you will”, you insist, reaching out to touch his arm before pulling back again. You have never touched him before. It would be strange to do so now.

Hoseok doesn’t notice it as he is too busy staring sad holes into the wall.

“Please, you must at least try”, Ash insists, “we do not wish to say goodbye to you.”

“Do you truly feel this way?” Hoseok asks.

You each nod your heads.

“Oh”, he lets out and lowers his head. His cheeks feel hot, his heart light in his chest, “I didn’t think that you would”, he confesses, “thank you. I must work hard, so we do not have to say goodbye to each other then.”

“Yes, exactly. If you want to, I can help you tomorrow after class”, you offer.

“Truly?”

You nod your head, “yes truly.”

“Then, I would love this.”

“It is decided then. Now eat your stew. I think that they used the freshest fish tonight. It tastes so wonderful.”

You and Hoseok meet up after late lunch. Ash and Ainar are outside with a few other girls, practicing for the exam. Some others are occupying the library.

“Where should we go? Our chamber?” Hoseok asks.

“No, I have a better idea”, you say and wave him with you, “follow me.”

Hoseok follows you in a quick step, greeting a few students as you pass them by. You also meet Sorceress Ciri on your path.

“Where are you off to?” she asks.

“The caves. We want to practice for the exam”, you tell her.

“Be careful. Especially you”, she addresses Hoseok with it.

“I, I will”, he stutters.

“Good. Some stones may very well only turn out to be stones. Dull, lightless failures.”

Hoseok blinks in shock.

“And some may outshine all others once they’ve reached the light”, you throw back angrily and tug at Hoseok’s sleeve, “come on Hoseok, we are already running late.”

Hoseok stumbles after you with his eyes glued to Sorceress Ciri for as long as possible. The sorceress curls her lips and clicks her tongue, turning her back to him before strutting off with her nose stuck high into the sky.

“Pay her words no mind. She is a bitter old hag.”

Hoseok gasps at your harsh words.

“Forgive me, I grew up with less classes in manners”, you say, “I won’t take back what I said, however.”

Hoseok lets a small smile wash over his lips, “it is alright.”

The caves can be reached through a sturdy door. It is very important not to imagine the caves like one might imagine a typical cave. Dark, wet, cold. The glintstone caves are none of these things. They dig deep and lower into the mountain, but no corner of it is dark. Magic deep in the crystal makes them glow, illuminating the paths and stairs this way. The air is quite comfortable on the skin and leaves no wet sensation behind, carrying magical scents one might describe as sweet while others might take them in as fresh. Tables and chairs are scattered on the bigger areas where students can sit and practice. They are currently empty. And purple clouds of magic dance in the air. A waterfall is rushing in the background, its waters can be used in healing potions.

You and Hoseok choose a table surrounded by glintstone and not far from the door.

“Let me”, Hoseok offers and fixes the chair for you.

“Thank you”, you say with a quick flutter in your heart, “what a surprise.”

“Oh? Oh, forgive me. Force of habit. I am so used to fixing chairs for Taehyung.”

“It is alright. I didn’t mind.”

Hoseok sits down opposite of you, looking around the cave.

“I still cannot believe that something like this truly exists.”

“Yes, me neither”, you agree, “now, are you ready to practice?”

He nods his head vividly.

“Take out your stone.”

Hoseok obeys.

“Show me your process.”

Hoseok obeys. Just like always, he fails to lift the stone.

“As you can see, I am as far as I was on the first day”, he jokes, lifting the corners of your lips into a smile.

“I am most certain that something happened inside you. Something that perhaps needs just a little bit of help?”

“Help?”

“Please do not judge me, but I did some reading”, you say and pull out a carefully written paper, “here. You can have these notes.”

“Truly?” Hoseok accepts them gladly.

“Yes. These are only my theories and I am but a mere beginner as well, so take them with caution. But I was thinking that perhaps your own magic is simply not strong enough to find its connection with you.”

“Not strong enough you say?”

“Yes. Watch me.”

Hoseok follows you with his eyes. You reach to your side and touch the glintstone, making it glow. It feels warm and comfortable and you take this feeling to transfer it into the stone to make it float. Hoseok’s stone floats soon after, the small table follows as well.

Hoseok gasps in awe.

“You see? Perhaps you have to channel the energies in these caves and your magic will be stronger”, you say, lowering the objects again. The glow dies down, as does the warmth in your fingertips, “strong enough so that it can finally find its connection.”

“That was remarkable.”

“Thank you. Try it yourself.”

“Forgive me?” Hoseok gasps with widened eyes, “how should I do such a thing?”

“Simply try. Perhaps you need a little help to connect with your magic. Perhaps you cannot produce enough energy yet and need a strengthening from these stones.”

“So you believe that with a stronger source, I could awaken my magic inside? Like feeding a dying fire more wood?”

“Yes, exactly.”

“Perhaps this could work”, Hoseok says and stands up to touch the glintstone just like you did.

It makes soft sounds, soaking the pads of his fingers with coldness. He closes his eyes, focusing on the sensation.

“Try to visualise it”, you whisper.

Hoseok imagines glowing stones and warmth in his fingers. He imagines purple haze all around him and how it soaks his fibres. He imagines his practice stone floating and how much warmer his hands would get.

He imagines, but he fails to truly put it into reality. He opens his eyes. Coldness. No glow. He drops his hand from the stone and sinks down on his chair, burying his face in his hands.

“I tried so hard”, he gets out shakily.

“Try again.”

“No, just give it up. It won’t work.”

“But it has to”, you say and touch the stone. You make it glow, “look! I, I did it for you. Keep this glow alive”, you try.

“How?”

“Touch it and try to keep it alive.”

Hoseok obeys even if his eyes seem hopeless.

“I am counting to three and then you give it life. One, two, three.”

Bright light for but a breath, sudden flickering which weakens the glow more and more until the stone is dark again.

“You did it!”

“I didn’t do anything. I failed”, Hoseok insists and pulls his hands away.

“No, you did something. The stone flickered before it died out. You kept it alive for but a moment.”

“No, I didn’t. It was simply your magic leaving it.”

“No it wasn’t. You did that.”

“Give it up, ___. I am hopeless.”

“No, you are not.”

“Why do you want my success so badly? Why can’t you just let it go?”

“Because I like you”, you blurt out.

Hoseok closes his mouth, gawking at you with widened eyes. His pulse flutters for but a moment.

“And I want your dream to become reality. I want it so very much. Not only for you, but also for my brother. You cannot give up, Hoseok please. You could change the world and make it possible so that dreamers like my brother have a chance as well.”

“But I am just a boy”, Hoseok whispers,

“You are not just a boy. You are Hoseok, you are strong and resilient and a wonderful dreamer.”

“But how should I change the world?”

“By not giving up. By believing in yourself.”

Hoseok lowers his head shyly.

“And if you cannot believe in yourself right now, believe in me and my support for you.”

Hoseok meets your gaze. Honesty, hope, admiration. He can see it in your purple eyes. You speak the truth. You really believe in him.

“Thank you”, he breathes, looking at your lips for but a moment, “for saying this.”

“I meant it. I cannot say goodbye to you, so please do not give up already.”

He smiles shyly, “I won’t.”

You retort his smile, letting your eyes run over his face. He has a birthmark on his lip. You never noticed it until now. Your mother always tells you that birthmarks show up on a person’s body where they were kissed especially much in their past life.

Hoseok lets out a shy laugh, ripping you back to reality. You look away instantly, clearing your throat loudly.

“I uhm”, you begin.

He clears his throat and looks away, turns to touch the glintstone. His cheeks feel hot. He closes his eyes and tries to imagine how his hands warm up as well.

A tickle. At the very tips of his fingers. Hoseok gasps and pulls away instinctively.

“What is it? Did you feel something?”

“No. Yes. I mean, I cannot say. My fingertips tickled.”

“Try again. Oh, this could be it!”

Hoseok touches the stone with both hands and closes his eyes. A tickle. He has to imagine a tickle which becomes warmth.

Nothing happens. He pulls away, shaking his head sadly.

“Try again.”

“I don’t think that your theory works. I am truly sorry.”

“But it has to”, you say and take his hands so you could place them on the stone.

Hoseok gasps quietly, gawking at his hands engulfed in yours. The touch goes so deep. He quite frankly, finds it a little hard to breathe all of a sudden.

You make the stone glow, keeping his hands between yours and the glowing crystal.

“Feel it? How warm it becomes?” you try, squeezing his hands, “how it is tickling your palms?”

You look at his face. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes widened slightly. It is enough to make you realise the situation you currently find yourself in. You are touching him. You crossed the line.

“Forgive me”, you say, pulling away instantly.

Hoseok keeps his hands on the stone, looking at you just as you look at him. You both miss how the stone keeps glowing, just as Hoseok doesn’t take in how warm his hands have become. The eye contact takes all your attention.

“I shouldn’t have taken your hands. Please forgive me.”

Hoseok shakes his head, “there is nothing to forgive.”

He retreats his hands. The stone finally darkens. Neither of you take it in.

“I-”, you begin.

“Young students, why are you still here?”

You never get to finish your sentence as sorceress Zenith interrupts you before you can. You and Hoseok stand up to bow at her.

“Forgive us, sorceress Zenith. We practiced for our exam”, Hoseok says.

“Hard work is honourable, but do not forget your sleep. It is late, young students. You must prepare for the night and I cannot allow you to be here any longer”, she says and waves the big set of keys around she uses to lock the caves overnight.

“We are already leaving. Forgive us”, Hoseok says and hurries away with you by his side.

You wait until you cross a corner before breaking into giggles.

“I cannot believe that we got caught by sorceress Zenith”, you snicker.

“My heart is racing. Did you see how she looked at us?” Hoseok giggles.

“Oh, we are so doomed.”

“No, do not say that. I am already doomed enough”, he chuckles.

“Forgive me, oh forgive me”, you laugh, stumbling from laughing so hard that Hoseok has to hold your sleeve for support.

You stumble into your chamber still laughing about your run in with sorceress Zenith. Ainar and Ash are already in their room.

“Do you mind if I washed myself first?” you ask him.

“Not at all. I might go to the library either way. I must read up on the theory.”

“But what if sorceress Zenith will catch you again?” you tease, stepping closer to him in a playful way.

“Then I will tell her that it was your idea”, Hoseok throws back and gives your shoulder a little poke.

You snicker, moving closer. Hoseok grins, chasing you. Your faces are mere inches away from touching.

Realisation. Hearts flutter.

You break away instantly, looking everywhere but the other person.

“I uhm, I am in the library”, Hoseok stutters.

“I understand, uh, have fun”, you say and leave for the washing chamber.

Hoseok calls your name. You look over your shoulder.

“Yes?”

“I uhm”, he clears his throat, blushing slightly. He shakes his head and looks away coyishly, “forget it. I was rambling.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll be in the library”, Hoseok says and bows deeply, “thank you for helping me.”

“I uh”, you do not get to finish you sentence before he is already gone. What did he want to tell you?

Hoseok attempts to concentrate, but his mind is racing. Thoughts about you and the unexplainable flutters you awoke in him tonight, thoughts about the tickles in his fingertips but also worries about the test and his continuous failures.

The theory you told him sounded so perfect and yet he still failed to find his connection. The good thoughts of you drown out more and more, the longer Hoseok thinks about his failures.

He doesn’t quite know how many hours he spent pondering his dark future and trying to find help in books, but his tired body lets him know that it must have been a few.

The library is dead silent. Hoseok should really be in his chambers already. Not only because the school rules say so, but also because it is way too late to still be awake. But Hoseok couldn’t sleep if he tried. Five moons passed ever since the weekend and he still hasn’t found his connection to magic. Not even practicing in the caves helped him. He feels like a failure. Perhaps Sorceress Ciri was right. Perhaps he is destined to be dull, lightless stone.

“Hoseok?”

He looks at the person having whispered his name.

“Sorceress Selen?” he gasps, scrambling to his feet to bow at her.

“Please stay comfortable”, she tells him and sits down on the chair opposite of him, “what are you still doing up?”

“Please forgive me. I didn’t notice how late it already was. I will go to my chambers right away. I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Sit, Hoseok.”

He follows her orders with a racing heart. He is scared. Will this be the night he is finally told to leave? He fumbles with his fingers nervously, trying to look into the sorceress‘ purple eyes despite his hammering heart.

“You do not seem like yourself lately. Is there something troubling you?” she however asks him with motherly concern in her voice.

Hoseok looks at his lap instantly, feeling his eyes water. It has been too long since someone spoke to him with such maternal worry in their voice. He feels too fragile tonight not to have a reaction to it.

“There is something troubling you, isn’t there?” she gasps upon seeing the tears in his eyes.

He nods his head.

“Talk to me, my young student.”

“I am scared.”

“Scared?”

He nods his head, “scared to fail tomorrow’s test. I am such a failure. I feel unworthy of your teachings. I even fail to do something as simple as lifting a stone with my mind.”

“Do not give up hope yet, my young student.”

“It all feels hopeless”, Hoseok sniffles, “what if I was never meant to learn magic? What if my dream is truly foolish? What if boys are simply not meant to possess magic? Sorcerer Argon was proof enough. I am but a foolish boy with foolish ambitions”, Hoseok says and rubs at his eyes to stop himself from truly crying.

The sorceress Selen studies his sad stature, taking a deep breath. She fixes her dress and straightens up.

“I am going to tell you a story”, she begins.

Hoseok looks at her.

“A story of a powerful sorcerer and how he managed to write history.”

“A sorcerer? There was another sorcerer?” Hoseok gasps.

“Oh yes there was.”

“So it is truly possible for boys to learn magic without losing control?”

“Oh yes it is. There was one sorcerer, who traversed these lands many, many centuries ago and who till this day is spoken about.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes. He was a powerful mage, who had incredible magic inside him. He always spoke of creating a spell so grande he will be able to leave this plain and travel to another universe.”

“This is impossible. Nobody could be that powerful. You said so yourself.”

“But he was.”

“No”, he gasps.

“Yes, yes indeed he was, dear Hoseok. Indeed he was. He worked decades on this one spell and he always spoke of leaving this universe and finding another where he will be able to create his own school of magic.”

“For boys and girls?”

“Yes indeed. For boys and girls. He spoke of it in many of his writings. And so he worked on the spell until one day he was gone. His servant had gone to the market for fresh eggs and when he returned, the mage’s office was completely cleaned out. Except for one small letter.”

“What did it say?”

“Dear Bartemo. That was his servant’s name. Dear Bartemo, if you read this letter and I am nowhere to be found, it seems that my spell was finally successful. I took my research with me. However, the estate and all its belongings are yours from this day forward. I am off to teach many young children the arts of magic. With kindest regards, Nilrem.”

“Nilrem”, Hoseok repeats, “I have read this name in scriptures long ago. I never believed this name to be important. Was he ever found? Did he return? What about his research? Is it truly lost?”

“Oh yes, sadly he took it with him. He was never seen in this realm again and Bartemo lived to eighty years of age before a fever took him. He never saw his master again, but he always spoke highly of him.”

“This is truly such a wonderful story. I thank you for telling me. Nilrem. I will remember the name and see it as motivation to grow as a sorcerer”, Hoseok lets out an excited giggle, scrunching his nose, “do you believe that he was successful? That he managed to teach magic to younglings?”

“I like to believe that he was. It is truly a shame that in this realm, it is still so frowned upon for boys to learn magic, so I truly hope that in at least another universe, Nilrem managed to make the world a fairer place.”

“Yes, yes this sounds good”, Hoseok says and nods his head, “oh, I am spilling over with sudden motivation. I need to practice my spells, yes I must. Please if you would excuse me”, he says and jumps up to hurry away.

The sorceress Selen watches him with fond eyes until the library door closes behind him. He is a student she finds herself very fond of already.

“___!” Hoseok calls your name, stumbling through the door.

You lift your head from your pillow, studying his face with sleepy eyes. He looks out of breath.

“Yes?” you croak with your voice heavy from sleep.

“Sorcerer existed in these lands!”

“What do you mean?”

Hoseok jumps onto your bed and touches your arm in excitement, shaking you in your comfortable blanket cocoon. You whine quietly, feeling oh so dizzy.

“I spoke with sorceress Selen in the library and she told me a story of a powerful sorcerer, who wandered these lands thousands of years ago. His name was Nilrem and he was so powerful that he could traverse universes.”

“Universes?” you murmur and yawn loudly, “what do you mean universes?”

“Yes, universes! He went to another universe and was never seen again. Oh ___, boys can learn magic”, Hoseok drops his head into your blanket, hugging you this way, “and they can be powerful without losing control. I can learn magic as well, it is possible.”

You tense up in shock, feeling your heart speed up in your chest. He feels very warm and comfortably heavy on your chest. Oh by Frenya, you wear but a thin sleeping gown and his head is dangerously close to your bosom. Thankfully for your own sanity of heart, Hoseok sits up again. He is too overtaken in excitement to truly realise what he has done and what he did to your poor heart in the process.

“I can learn magic as well, ___”, he says and laughs so brightly his lips form the prettiest of hearts.

“So this means that sorceress Ciri lied today”, you say.

“Yes it was a lie”, Hoseok says and sighs in relief, “I am not a failure.”

“Of course you aren’t”, you say and sit up, covering yourself with the blanket, “I always believed in you. She was very rude and wrong for talking to you like this.”

“I thank you for saying this”, Hoseok gives your upper arm a gentle rub, “I am very happy to have you as my chamber mate.”

“Oh”, you feel your cheeks heat up, lowering your eyes shyly, “I am happy as well”, you whisper.

“Now, you must excuse me. I am in the garden, practicing until I can finally lift a stone”, Hoseok says and jumps out of your bed. He slips into his shoes and gives you a smiley wave goodbye before finally disappearing out of the room.

You touch the spot on your upper arm he rubbed, then the spot on your chest his head rested upon, taking a deep breath to calm down the flutter of your heart.

He is already doing magic. Deep, deep in your chest where you pulse just doesn’t want to slow down.

Hoseok isn’t in his bed when you wake early the next morning. You leave your sleeping chambers. The door to Ainar’s and Ash’s chamber is still closed and right there on the soft seating, Hoseok is sleeping with his mouth wide open. Half of his limbs hang from the edge off the seat, his long hair does as well. His practice glintstone sits on the table. The notes you made for him lie beside it.

For but a second you let him sleep peacefully, letting your eyes wander over him. His body is still dressed in the white clothing of yesterday, his shoes are scattered by the entrance. Your eyes linger but a second on his exposed neck and how the morning sun paints streaks of golden light on his skin.

You had a difficult time falling asleep last night as your mind kept you awake with thoughts of what happened between you and him. Barely anything did if one compares it to truly big happenings, but it meant a lot to you. You touched his hands, you shared playful banter in front of the bathing chamber with him, he hugged you. You never experienced something like this before and you couldn’t quite place the feelings it awakes in your chest.

You lift your eyes upon hearing Ash open her door. She and Ainar leave their room.

“Oh? What happened to him?”

“Practice. I think he practiced all night.”

Hoseok, who wakes up from your voices, sits up. He groans loudly, touching his neck instantly.

“By Frenya, my neck”, he whines, massaging in vividly, “huh?!” he suddenly straightens up, “what time is it? Oh, the test!” he blurts out and jumps up to run out of the room.

“We still have two hours left”, you stop him before he can.

“Oh”, he stops, “really?”

“Yes, enough time for you to wash up. You look rather battered.”

“I feel battered. My neck is going to kill me”, he says and rolls it, groaning as he does.

“Did you sleep here all night?” Ainar asks.

“No. I fell asleep with the sun rising.”

“But it has only been light for an hour.”

“I know”, Hoseok says and yawns.

“Why did you stay up this long? How should you concentrate today?”

“I will make it work”, Hoseok says, furrowing his brows in conviction. He lets his eyes drift to yours, “I have a dream to fulfil.”

A smile graces your face for but a moment, before you feel too shy to keep the eye contact going. Hoseok looks to the side.

“Now if you don’t mind, I would like to wash the day away.”

“Go ahead. I already bathed last night”, Ash assures him, “Ainar and I will be in the eating hall.”

“May I accompany you?” you ask them.

“Of course.”

You leave Hoseok alone in your shared room. He picks up his practice stone and walks to his room to get new clothing so he could get dressed in the bathing chamber.

He meets you and the others in class. Like so very often, you bring breakfast because you knew that he would skip it for the sake of practicing just a little more. He eats it seated by his desk and with his nervous eyes glued to his practice stone. The swell of his eye sacs and the redness of his eyes haven’t gone down yet. He is so visibly tired in fact, that sorceress Selen asks if he was feeling alright once she enters the classroom. Sorceress Ciri is with her as well.

“I simply practiced all night”, he tells her.

“Sleep is important, my young student”, she tells him.

“I know, sorceress Selen. I will get it today.”

She nods in approval, then claps into her hands.

“Very well then, shall we get started with the tests? I am most certain that you all want to get it over with as quickly as possible. Who wants to start?”

Some students lift their hands and so the testing begins.

The test consists of two parts. One based on knowledge and the other on action. Sorceress Ciri asks each student two questions about the history of magic and then sorceress Selen asks two more questions about glintstone magic. The practical part comes last where the students have to lift their practice stone and guide it to a mug on the teacher’s desk where they will have to lower it into the mug carefully.

The other students are asked to be quiet during the testing. Some busy themselves by drawing in their books, while others read up on their notes and others listen to the testing. There are also people like Hoseok and Ash, who use the time to practice. Ash manages to lift her stone, moving it around with swirls of her finger. Soon it is her turn and then it will be your turn and then it will be his turn.

Hoseok gulps nervously and tries to concentrate on practicing. He didn’t manage to lift the stone during his nightly session. He will have to make it work or else he will fail. He knows what he needs to know, he could have answered each question the sorceresses asked his fellow students, but fails at the most crucial part. How will he be able to pass when he cannot put the knowledge into practice?

Ash returns to her seat, looking relieved. You stand up.

“Good luck”, Hoseok tells you, earning himself a sweet smile.

“Thank you.”

Hoseok listens to your testing. The questions are easy and you manage to answer them quickly and coherently. The practical part follows. You move the stone with ease, ending it by painting a circle with it before lowering it into the mug. It brings a chuckle to sorceress Selen’s lips.

“Good job, my young student”, she praises you, “please return to your seat.”

You hurry to it with a relieved grin on your lips. Ash and Ainar praise you instnaly.

“You did so well”, Hoseok says.

“Thank you”, you tell him.

“Hoseok, please come out”, sorceress Ciri tells him.

He takes a deep breath and stands up.

“Good luck. I believe in you”, you tell him.

“Good luck”, Ash says.

“You can do it”, Ainar encourages him.

Hoseok acknowledges them with a nervous smile. He can hear how much quieter the classroom became. Which means a lot, because it was already quiet. Everyone is watching him. He is aware of it. This is it. The moment which will decide if he is worthy of being a sorcerer or not.

Hoseok sits down, sweating buckets from just his palms. At least it feels like it.

“When was the first magic school founded?” sorceress Ciri asks him.

Hoseok has to think for a moment. This wasn’t in the curriculum. He isn’t surprised that she asks him a question like this.

“It depends. If we take the writings of Sorceress Sorn into consideration, it is said that the first school of magic was founded as early as 218 of the second age by a group of dragon worshippers who discovered that glintstone can be harnessed for magic, but her writings are still seen as a rather incomplete source because of the great fires nine hundred years ago. So we use the Book of History written by sorceress Cicil in 1306 of the third age as the guide. In it, it says that the first school of magic was actually founded around two thousand years later than sorceress Sorn says in her writings and that the founders weren’t dragon worshippers, but scholars who studied glintstone for many centuries.”

Sorceress Ciri scrunches her nose in distaste. She didn’t think that he could answer this question. Hoseok lifts his head proudly.

“Very good”, she presses out, “where did the practice of Mending originate from?”

“The Glass Mountains in the school of sorceress Reah.”

“What even is Mending?”

“It is the magic of healing wounds by channelling the energies of the planets and using them to mend what was broken.”

“And why do we channel energies from the planets?”

“Because they are the strongest and purest form to channel. Nothing earthen has touched these energies yet and therefore soiled them. So they can be used to safely close wounds or mend broken bones.”

“And-”

“Thank you, sorceress Ciri”, sorceress Selen interrupts her, “I believe that Hoseok has already answered enough of your questions.”

The sorceress scrunches his nose in distaste.

“Fine”, she says and looks away with an annoyed gleam in her eyes.

Hoseok sends her a victorious look then shifts his eyes to sorceress Selen.

“Now Hoseok. Given how sorceress Ciri has already asked questions about glintstone magic, I believe that it is time for you to show what you have learned.”

Hoseok gulps. Truly, for just a second his heart stopped. He looks at the stone in front of him. This is it. The moment which determines if he is worthy.

“Take your time.”

Hoseok lifts his hands and visualises how the stone floats.

Nothing.

His heart races faster.

He tries harder.

Nothing.

Whispers begin in the classroom.

Hoseok lowers his hands. This is fruitless.

“Silence”, sorceress Selen warns, then speaks to Hoseok in a motherly tone, “try again. I believe in you.”

Hoseok lifts his hands again. He closes his eyes and visualises the stone. He thinks of his dream. Of how he told Taehyung that one day he will move the stars and make flowers grow from his fingers. Of how he promised his mother that one day he will be able to grow her a garden in the cold weathers of the Snow Isles. Of how he stayed up many nights to think about his life as a sorcerer. He thinks of sorceress Ciri and all the other people who so clearly see no future in him, but he also thinks of sorceress Selen and Taehyung and the princess and his chamber mates and how they all believe in him. He thinks of you and your little brother, then imagines all the other young boys who dream a dream which seemed so unreachable to them.

He thinks about how he was once one of these boys until he managed to get a spot at a magical school and how he could be the boy who changes the future for many other dreamers.

He opens his eyes, meeting ecstatic happiness in Sorceress Selen’s eyes and surprised pride in sorceress Ciri’s eyes. He looks at his hands.

The stone is floating.

“Oh! Ah!” he exclaims and almost drops it again.

“Concentration”, sorceress Selen says.

“I-I’m doing it!” he stutters with glassy eyes, “the stone is floating!”

“How wonderful, Hoseok. Now move it.”

“I am! I am moving it! Watch me!” he exclaims and makes the stone move with swirls of his fingers. And as he moves the stone with just his mind, purple soaks the white strands of his hair until even the last inch of his long locks are painted in it.

He drops the stone in the mug, jumping up with a loud yelp of excitement.

“I did it!” he turns to the class, “I moved the stone!”

His fellow students jump up in joy, cheering with him because all they wanted was his success. They run to him, circling him with some even patting his arms in congratulatory happiness.

You are with them as well, crying tears of happiness.

“You did it”, you tell him.

“I did it.”

“And your hair. Look at your hair!”

“My hair?” Hoseok tugs it into his vision, “my hair?! It is purple?!”

“The magic has deemed you worthy”, sorceress Selen says with pearls of tears in the corner of her eyes as well. She truly rooted for her dear student.

„Very impressive, young student“, sorceress Ciri says with an respectful bow of her head.

Hoseok smiles in gratitude, before looking at you and the others.

“Hoseok! You are worthy!” you exclaim and take his hands to squeeze them excitedly, “I told you. I knew that you could do it!” “Worthy? I am worthy”, Hoseok presses out and spills tears as realisation finally sets in, “I am worthy to be a sorcerer. I did it. I am worthy.”

44 notes · View notes

hotchaways · 2 years

Text

pov: your instagram but you’re dating aaron hotchner (part 2)

Liked by jenniferjareau, spencer.reid and 90 others

its(Y/L/N): the love of my life and aaron :) #wheninlondon 🇬🇧

view all 28 comments

itspennyg: WEEEE LONDON!!! have the best time my lovely furry friends 💘

↳ its(Y/L/N): aaron did not enjoy the furry friends BUT we’ll get you loads of penelope coded things :) miss you!!

e.prentiss: oh coffee is the love of everyone’s life ❤️

↳ jenniferjareau: mine would be cheetos

↳ its(Y/L/N): we know that. your breath smells like cheetos

spencer.reid: i believe (Y/N)’s love language is to bully hotch

↳ jenniferjareau: it’s so weird to think about because he’s our unit chief…..

↳ aaron_hotchner: the bullying never stops in the hotchner household

↳ its(Y/L/N): don’t forget the loaf of bread and baguette retaliation :)

↳ aaron_hotchner: jesus christ please stop with the breads

↳ e.prentiss: no (Y/N) keep going with the breads

Liked by daverossi, e.prentiss and 95 others

its(Y/L/N): “no, coco is mine.” and do you think coco enjoys being in your arms 🤨 #dognapper

view all 21 comments

spencer.reid: what is even so endearing about that rat?

↳ its(Y/L/N): no clue why i started dating him honestly

↳ e.prentiss: it should’ve been our ship that sailed 🙄

↳ derekmorgan: hotch gotta watch out for emily, she’s about to steal his girl

↳ aaron_hotchner: she’s right, she’s out of my league. i don’t know why she did either

↳ its(Y/L/N): AARON, BABY :( i love you, you’re the one out of my league

↳ aaron_hotchner: also, emily– why not make the ship sail with cheeto breath?

↳ itspennyg: LET THE JEMILY SHIP SAIL 🚢🤍

↳ jenniferjareau: man when will i ever stop being called cheeto breath I HAVE A NAME

Liked by daverossi, spencer.reid and 88 others

its(Y/L/N): cause of my death: my boyfriend in a polo shirt playing golf 😩

view all 17 comments

derekmorgan: any news about the women fawning over him?

↳ e.prentiss: we haven’t received texts in the group chat so im assuming all is well (for now)

↳ aaron_hotchner: she followed me like a lost puppy and publicly displayed her affection to make sure they knew.

↳ jenniferjareau: well! looks like you’re not gonna be attacked by bread this time

↳ its(Y/L/N): no he’s gonna be attacked by bread when we get home

↳ daverossi: i just have to say– why do you have to attack him with bread?

↳ itspennyg: so she doesn’t waste money buying a weapon and if she attacks with bread, she can eat it afterwards, mr. holy pasta man 🍝🧔🏻‍♂️

↳ aaron_hotchner: (Y/N) just said it’s because she can and she will…not because she found out about the soccer moms fawning over me from the clubhouse this time

↳ e.prentiss: the bread retaliation will literally never stop

Liked by jenniferjareau, itspennyg and 91 others

its(Y/L/N): my handsome boyfriend being all grumpy and it’s tempting to smooch him all over 🥺

view all 18 comments

e.prentiss: you both are my close friends but you have to tone the mushiness down at work

↳ itspennyg: NO LET THE LOVEBIRDS BE. PENNY LOVES LOVE 🤭❤️

↳ jenniferjareau: penelope you’d be glad you don’t have to be with (Y/N) out in the field because she goes feral when she sees hotch with kevlar vest

↳ its(Y/L/N): uh no i don’t. psh kevlar vest? nah doesn’t look good on him. i don’t know what you’re talking about

↳ spencer.reid: your respiratory rate increases whenever you see hotch wear that and in general your pupils dilate when you just see hotch

↳ its(Y/L/N): go choke, spencer

derekmorgan: she wants another dog, doesn’t she?

↳ aaron_hotchner: yeah. she saw one at this little adoption event held at the park last week

↳ daverossi: you’re about to give in, aren’t you?

↳ e.prentiss: the silence is loud, of course he’s going to give in to her

Liked by derekmorgan, e.prentiss and 84 others

its(Y/L/N): why has he not looked at me for the past hour :(

view all 24 comments

derekmorgan: i smell jealousy in the air 👀

↳ spencer.reid: who? hotch or (Y/N)?

↳ jenniferjareau: have you not seen hotch’s eyebrows go deeper than it usually is, spence?

↳ e.prentiss: sulky (Y/N) is also my favorite version of her

↳ its(Y/L/N): i just want my boyfriend to give me attention :(

↳ daverossi: guess aaron’s still a jealous man when it comes to detective peralta aka that goofy detective here in brooklyn.

↳ aaron_hotchner: i don’t know what you’re talking about, dave.

↳ itspennyg: sir hotch, don’t you worry! detective peralta is in no way infatuated with our (Y/N) because he’s happily chained to detective santiago

↳ spencer.reid: i don’t know whether i should thank you for this penelope, but i did not miss the mushiness of lovesick (Y/N)

↳ e.prentiss: aaaaand we’re back to the madly in love hotch and (Y/N)

Liked by jenniferjareau, itspennyg and 89 others

its(Y/L/N): i am gifting everyone with young aaron hotchner because i simply cannot stop swooning

view all 13 comments

aaron_hotchner: sweetheart, i love you but– this is embarrassing.

↳ e.prentiss: this feels almost illegal to see. what even happened to you?

↳ jenniferjareau: i seriously cannot believe this was hotch

↳ itspennyg: HOTCH??? I AM??? IN ABSOLUTE SHOCK??? 😧

↳ spencer.reid: just erase the wrinkles and lessen his eyebrows a tad bit, we’ll come up with the image of the present aaron hotchner.

↳ derekmorgan: boss man must’ve gotten a lot of ladies

↳ its(Y/L/N): my man’s so handsome though. present or past >:( also morgan, no

↳ aaron_hotchner: my girl :) and morgan, i do not want to bread to be thrown at me

↳ daverossi: she’s saying that so you could let her get that dog.

↳ its(Y/L/N): literally go choke on pasta, rossi 😒

Liked by daverossi, derekmorgan and 97 others

its(Y/L/N): someone sent jack and i to run errands just so he could send me this selfie saying “come home mama” 🥺 HE GAVE IN TO ME. welcome to the hotchners, cooper! 🐾🤍

view all 19 comments

e.prentiss: i simply cannot believe how much of a simp hotch is for you

↳ derekmorgan: she should make him give us more weekends 😉

↳ its(Y/L/N): your wish is my command my lovely friends

itspennyg: every time (Y/N) uses ‘welcome to the hotchners’, i forget you two aren’t married :( WHEN WILL I HEAR THE WEDDING BELLS 🙈👀

↳ aaron_hotchner: soon enough, garcia.

↳ jenniferjareau: hotch, im gonna need you to pay for my ear check-up because (Y/N) just called me to screech into the phone

↳ spencer.reid: yeah, you’re gonna need to pay for two check-ups.

↳ e.prentiss: make that three, she busted out my ear drums. put a ring on her now, hotch

↳ its(Y/L/N): EXCUSE ME I DID NOT SCREECH IN YOUR EARS 😒

↳ aaron_hotchner: i heard you from the sidewalk when i threw out the trash, sweetheart.

↳ daverossi: i don’t know whether i should be terrified or amused. but im gonna need that (Y/L/N)-hotchner wedding soon.

A/N: im enjoying way too much with this fake social media thing and this makes me yearn more for our favorite grumpy dilf 😒 ANYWAYS i hope you love it, lmk what you think :)

ps. yes i did put brooklyn 99 in the cm universe 🤭 just want my crime fighting worlds to collide <3

click here if you wanna be a part of my taglist for my future works!

tagging my lovely hotch girl nation: @ssamorganhotchner @14buddy22 @allthefandomstogether @sbeno22 @1234-angelika @fandom-life-12 @sprentiz @themoontoyourshine @aaronhotchy @singinginacargettinglostupstate @gspenc @616wilsons @fadingpersonaspyexpert @thenewnormalforensicator

1K notes · View notes

holy-hysteria · 1 year

Text

I’ve seen a lot of headcannons on the Sinclair brothers in high school and here’s my take on them:

Bo Sinclair

I don’t think Bo was popular AT ALL.

He’s the kid that gets in fights all the time, disrespectful to teachers + peers, and just doesn’t give a shit whatsoever about anything.

He’s super smart though. He never does his work but he understands what’s going on. I think he was a naturally gifted kid, didn’t have to try in school to get good grades, probably could have been in the top of his class. He probably tried to use his grades when he was younger to get his parents attention but when that didn’t happen, he just gave up.

Along with being smart, I think he’s also pretty good at art too. I feel like if Trudy gave Bo as much attention as she gave Vincent and his art, Bo could have been just as good as Vincent. But since Trudy neglected Bo and his interests, he kinda gave up on it. Thought that it really wasn’t good enough.

His favorite class was probably math. I know most people would think shop but i really think he’d like math.

I think he did play sports in high school, or at least tried to. His temper got him kicked off most of the teams. Out of all the sports he played though, I think he probably enjoyed wrestling. It was a sport where he could get on the mat and all he had to focus on for a few minutes was getting a pin and scoring points. No thoughts about home or his parents, just the sport.

He probably didn’t have many girlfriends in high school. I feel like his whole demeanor in school kind out girls off so he didn’t get much action till high school was over.

I think the one teacher to actually like him was the librarian. The librarian probably knew about how Vincent was favorited and they felt like he was misunderstood. He probably ate lunch in there too since it was quiet and no one was around. He’d even help shelf books and things like that.

I don’t think Bo really had friends. Sure he’d hangout with the douchebag jocks, but it was never more than being friendly and cracking a joke here and there.

Probably started smoking bc of them.

Wanted to be an electrician and would read any books he could find on it while eating lunch in the library. ( That’s why the town still has power and everything works electrical wise down there. )

Vincent Sinclair

I’m gonna say it, Vincent was probably popular. He’s the kid that’s nice to everyone, teachers love him, and he’s always willing to lend a hand.

He was on student council. He helped make decorations for the dances and design the class shirts.

He did get bullied a little in school, only by certain kids, but I feel like he got through school pretty unscathed.

Like Bo, Vincent really didn’t have any true friends. Sure he was friendly with people, and would eat lunch with them sometime, but they weren’t super close.

Vincent had a lot of pressure put on him by Trudy. He always felt like his every move was being watched. As the “gold child”, Vincent felt like he had a lot to live up to.

Vincent was average in school. He wasn’t terribly bad but he wasn’t a child prodigy either. He had to study, things didn’t come easy to him, but he got good grades.

He HATED high school art. When he signed up, he thought we he’d be able to create whatever he wanted, but when he got into class and realized he had to follow assignment rules and didn’t get to have as much creative liberty as he would like, he dropped the class.

His favorite class would have to be English. I can see him liking the classics they had to read in class and would often go home and draw the scenes from the books. His favorites are To Kill a Mockingbird and Mice of Men. He cried while reading both of them.

I’m guessing Bo and him went to high school during the 80s/90s? But i think they both dressed somewhat similar, in that twin way that most parents dress their young children. Probably band t-shirts, pearl snap shirts (since they’re from a rural small town), and jeans. Vincent would have a turtle neck or sweater thrown in there somewhere though.

Vincent wanted to be an art teacher, so that kids wouldn’t have to get projects with little room to take creative liberty.

He drew comics for the school newspaper.

He took french. Just look at him. He DEFINITELY took french.

Also like Bo, he’s very awkward with girls. Not as much as Bo. He’s just shy and i think he doesn’t realize when someone hits on him.

Lester Sinclair

He’s no different than he was in the high school.

He was very much the class clown. Cracked jokes in class all the time and definitely planned the senior prank.

Unlike his older brothers, he had lots of friends. He had one or two super close friends but he got along with everyone.

No one was a stranger to him. He got along with people so well that when a new student came, he was asked to show them around.

He’s also very much like abi when it comes to school. He’s super smart but plays himself down to make people laugh.

HATED math class. Didn’t like the material, didn’t like the teacher, thought he was super creepy bc he flirted with all the female students.

Wore Vincent and Bo’s hand-me-downs.

He played soccer in school. I can see him play forward/striker. He’s super fast and very aggressive.

Unlike his brothers, he’s a ladies man. Always had a date to dances, always had a girl fawning over him. He’s funny and nice, true southern gentleman.

Favorite class was science. Loved learning about how things work, why things are the way they are.

If you looked in his senior yearbook, he’s on almost every page.

Wanted to be a park ranger. I don’t have to explain why, it fits him so well.

Went to parties all the time. He was the life of them too. He smoked pot a couple times too. Still does to this day just to relax.

#bo sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair x reader #lester sinclair #lester sinclair x reader #house of wax #lester sinclair x you #vincent sinclair x you #bo sinclair x you #headcanon

206 notes · View notes

wannab-urs · 1 year

Text

You Have Me In a Chokehold | Mr. Ben (SNL) x teacher!reader | 18+

Summary: You’re a teacher at Mr. Ben’s school and you’re sitting in the “No More Fancams” assembly freaking out because he just showed your fancam on screen… Do you think he knows it was you? (AU where he’s not in love with Ms. Jenny, the assembly just ends with him being like “please don’t do this anymore, thanks”)

WC: 2.4k

Warnings: MDNI | 18+ | SMUT | no ages implied (all legal obvi), hair pulling, sir kink, very mild degrading language, fingering, unprotected PiV (don’t be silly, wrap your willy) (also y’all are teachers, you should know better), rough-ish sex but no one gets hurt, Mr. Ben is girthy (Big Ben ;) ), brief mention of the picture of dorian gray, which deserves its own warning if you’ve ever tried to teach that book to teenagers, extreme cringe in the first half. Gets weirdly fluffy at the end so if that kills your vibe just stop reading after the uhhhh climax of the story (if you catch my drift). Sorry we support aftercare in this house. I think that’s it, love y’all, enjoy!

It’s 8 in the morning, supposed to be first period, and the principal has called for some technology assembly. You’re unlucky enough to have first period planning, you have essays to grade, and you won’t have a spare minute for the rest of the day. But sure, let’s all go sit in the gym so the boomers can lecture the zoomers about technology use. This is a great use of everyone’s time.

You slip into the auditorium with 5 minutes to spare, hoping to go unnoticed in the back row. You’re just about to subtly put in your airpods and watch TikToks like 90% of the students, when you hear the principal introduce Mr. Ben. This assembly suddenly became worth paying attention to.

Ben is by far the prettiest thing to look at in this school. He’s ridiculously broad chested, always wearing these just-shy-of-too-tight button ups that he pairs with definitely-a-little-too-tight pants, accentuating his cute butt. He has toned forearms, usually peeking out of rolled up sleeves, and huge hands that he waves around in the air or clasps in front of him when he speaks. And then, despite being this big, broad, powerful looking man, he has the sweetest face.

His eyes are soft brown, hooded and turned down a little, so he’s basically making puppy dog eyes constantly. His nose is prominent and curved and sitting above the most adorably pouty lips. His facial hair is sparse and a little patchy, but honestly it just makes him even more charming. God, you have it so bad for this man.

Your internal drooling over Ben is interrupted by the sound of a freshman at the front of the room yelling, “Come on guuurrrrl, eat it up!” Your eyes flick to the screen beside Ben. There are two very vague tech rules followed by… Shit.

“Do not make fancams of school staff, such as this,” says Ben, gesturing at the screen. And your stomach does a somersalt. Shit! There’s a TikTok playing on the screen, and though you can’t quite make out the username, you definitely recognize the video. That’s your fancam. And Ben looks… mortified. He looks extremely uncomfortable.

“You have made thousands of fancams of me and i’m not sure what they mean, but I know it has to stop,” he pleads. And fuck is he looking at you? He can’t know can he? There’s absolutely no way he knows. He’s just looking out toward the back of the auditorium. Yeah. You wouldn’t want to make eye contact with a bunch of 14 years olds while pictures of you flash on the screen either. That makes perfect sense.

“We make them because you’re our beloved and you have us a in a chokehold,” screams another student toward the front. You wish he would put you in a chokehold. GOD what is wrong with you. Pull yourself together.

“Okay, don’t say that,” Ben says, wringing his hands together in front of him. You can see that he’s clearly uncomfortable. You should delete your account. Ban him from your thoughts. You’ve crossed the line big time.

“I just don’t understand. Why do you make sparkly fast romantic montages of me every single day?” he asks. Another fancam, thankfully not yours, begins playing on the screen. You have to get out of here.

You stand up and try to sneak out as inconspicuously as possible, whispering “Bathroom,” in response to a disapproving look from another, older teacher.

You break into a run as soon as you get into the hall and only slow down when you’re safely locked in the handicap stall of the teacher bathroom. You slide down the wall to the floor and press your face into your hands. You are so stupid. Of course making fancams of school staff is a bad idea. It’s bad when the kids do it… and really weird because they’re kids… but when another teacher does it? He could have you fired for this.

But he doesn’t know. There’s no way he knows.

You manage to make it through the rest of the day, somehow facing your classes and teaching them about nouns and reading a bit more of The Picture of Dorian Gray aloud.

It’s finally the end of the day, but you still have those essays to grade, so you decide to set a timer for one hour and power through as many as you can. The school is so weirdly silent this long after final bell. The custodians won’t be in for another couple hours and pretty much every teacher and student has long gone home.

You finish packing your tote bag and start shrugging on your coat when you hear a knock at the door. “Come in!”

You freeze when the door opens. Shit.

“Ben! Hi! How can I help you? I was just leaving, but-” the sharp sound of the door slamming shut cuts off your nervous rambling. Ben stands with his hands behind his back, puffing his very broad chest out.

“I was wondering if you could tell me something, sweetheart.” His voice is low, gravelly, and you feel like you’re being raked over hot coals. He knows.

“Um. Sure?” you squeak out. Your face is on fire and you have no idea what to do with your hands. He takes a step toward you, looking for all the world like a predator stalking it’s pray. His eyes are dark, brow lowered, lips set in a hard line. He looks nothing like the shy, uncomfortable man from the assembly.

Your bag drops to the floor and you take a stuttering step back toward your desk.

“What’s your TikTok username?” he asks slowly, taking another step toward you.

You gulp and fall back another step, thighs pressing against your desk now. Your shake your head and glue your eyes to the floor.

“Don’t make me ask again.” And oh god he’s right in front of you now. He hooks a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes up to meet his. His pupils are blown so wide, you can barely see his usually warm brown irises. Wait is he turned on right now?

“It’s- uh… I don’t have one!” you stammer out. You try to look away, but his fingers hold your chin in place. He leans a bit closer, his breath ghosting over your face, and presses his other palm into the desk beside you. He tsks and presses his thumb to your bottom lip.

“Don’t lie to me,” he growls out, and oh that went straight to your core. You squirm in his hold and that’s when you truly realize how close he is. His body is nearly pressed against yours.

“It’s- it’s… fuck. It’s MrBensLittleSlut…” you stammer out. You feel like you’re on fire, ashamed of your actions, but also incredibly fucking turned on. The object of your not-so-innocent crush has you pressed against your desk like some school girl fantasy.

“And do you really want to be my little slut, sweetheart?” Holy. Shit. Did he really just ask you that? Your heart actually stops beating in your chest for a second. You nod.

“Aloud, please.”

“Yes, sir,” you whisper, squeezing your eyes shut.

He brings one hand to the back of your head and wraps your hair around his fingers, pulling your head back slightly. You whimper and he leans in, brushing his lips against your ear.

“Good girl,” he purrs. And you think you’ll melt into puddle on the spot. His hands slide to your hips and he lifts you up onto the edge of the desk. You instinctively part your legs and he presses himself flush against you. He keeps one hand on your waist to steady you and slides the other back up into your hair and suddenly his lips are on yours.

It’s sloppy and open mouthed and greedy. He licks into your mouth, curling his tongue around yours. Your hands find purchase around his biceps and you hold on for dear life. His fist tightens in your hair and you moan wantonly, throwing your head back and pushing your hips up into his, chasing friction.

His lips trail down your jaw and he nips at your earlobe before sucking a kiss to the spot where your jaw meets your throat. You dig your nails into his muscular arms and choke on a gasp.

“Please,” you whine, shifting your hips against him again.

“Please what, sweetheart?” you can feel him smirking into the skin of your throat. He loves how riled up you are. Loves watching you try and fail to grind yourself on him.

“Please- please touch me, sir,” he rolls his hips into yours, finally giving you something. Anything to ease the burning desire between your legs.

“You’re so pretty when you beg,” he growls in your ear. Then you feel his right hand leave your waist and pull up your skirt. He drags his fingertips up the inside of your left thigh, featherlight. Finally, he hooks two fingers into the soaked crotch of your panties and drags his knuckles across your clit.

You suck in a gasp and a little “Oh” falls from your lips. He pulls back, keeping his left hand in your hair and watches as he slowly sinks two fingers into your cunt, down to the knuckle. Your hands ball up into fists, twisting the sleeves of his shirt and you let out a long, breathy moan.

“You’re so wet for me already, sweetheart. Really are a little slut, aren’t you?” Your pussy clenches around his thick fingers at his words.

“Yes! Yes, I’m your little slut!” you gasp out.

He pumps his fingers in and out of you, hooking them just right so that he hits the spongy spot inside you every time. You’re holding onto his shirt so tight you think you might rip the sleeves off. You can hear how wet you are, the sound echoing off the cinderblock walls. You start moving your hips to meet the thrust of his fingers inside you, chasing your orgasm.

“I’m-- I’m gonna--” you clench hard around his fingers, so close to tipping over the edge.

And then his touch is gone. He’s pulled his fingers out of you and let go of you completely, taking a step back. You let out an actual scream of frustration. “No!” you shout, slumping back until your head hits your desk. You actually pout at him.

“Not yet, sweetheart. Want you to come on my cock.” His voice is so low, you almost can’t hear him over the sound of your heaving breaths. “Sit up, pretty girl.”

You push yourself back up and take in his appearance. Other than his rumpled shirt, he looks completely unbothered. His hair is still effortlessly tousled, his face is set into a teasing smirk. The fucker didn’t even break a sweat and you’re gasping for breath like a fish out of water. Pretty girl. He called you pretty.

“Bend over the desk, sweetheart.”

You scramble to obey his request, standing up and bending over, pushing your ass into the air. You press your forehead into the desk and try to calm your fluttering heart rate.

Suddenly… finally… you feel his hands on you. He grabs your skirt and bunches it up around your waist. His fingertips slide into the waistband of your panties and he pushes them down, letting them settle around your ankles. You hear the clink of a belt buckle, the tug of a zipper, and then you feel him.

He slides his cock between your clenched thighs, through the wet folds of your pussy and oh god. You can’t see him, but you can feel that he’s thick. The head of his cock presses against your clit and you moan.

“Such a pretty little pussy… I’m going to ruin it.” You gasp, but before you can respond, he’s moving. In one fluid motion, he pulls back, kicks your feet apart, and pushes all the way into you.

“Oh fuck,” you moan out. You might pass out from pleasure. His cock is thick, filling you up and stretching you out more than you ever have been before. He holds still inside you while you clench and unclench around his girth, trying to get used to it. “So big.” you gasp into the desk.

“I know, baby.” And then he moves, pulling all the way out to the tip and thrusting hard, all the way back in. The force of his hips smacking against your ass jolts you into the desk, making you cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain and sprawl forward on the desk.

Ben grabs your shoulder with one hand, tightens his grip on your hip with the other, and resumes fucking into you at an absolutely brutal pace.

Some part of you is scared you’ll get caught, but that part is overpowered by the euphoria you feel. You’re moaning and babbling incoherently as his cock hits that sweet spot deep inside you and grinds into it with every thrust.

“Is my. Little. Slut. Gonna. Come. on my. Cock?” Ben grits out between thrusts.

You cry out a garbled response. Your cunt is fluttering around his thick length and your eyes are rolling into the back of your head and there’s no way you can form words right now.

Ben wraps his arm around your chest and pulls you back against him. His cock hits something deep inside you and you come with an agonizing cry, gushing around his cock and soaking him to the base.

Your whole body goes limp with the force of your orgasm, but he holds you up and continues fucking up into you. After a few more thrusts, he pulls out and covers your ass and thighs in his release, letting out a low groan as the thick ropes hit your skin.

You’re lying on the desk on your stomach, naked ass still in the air. It’s a ridiculous position to lay in, but you’re still riding the high of your orgasm and too blissed out to care. You jolt as you feel silk move across your over-sensitive skin.

“What’re you doing?” You’re so drunk on his cock, it comes out slurred.

“Cleaning you up, sweetheart,” Ben says. Is he- he’s cleaning you up with his tie. Fuck that’s hot. And sweet?

“Thank you…” you sigh into the desk. He pulls your panties back up for you and settles your skirt back down around your legs.

“Can you sit up for me, baby?” He doesn’t wait for you to answer before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to your feet, nestling your head into the curve of his shoulder.

It’s not fair for him to fuck you that good and go right to being the sweet, bashful man you thought you knew.

He brushes your hair out of your face and presses a soft, almost tender, kiss to your nose. You giggle and the sound makes him break out into a smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners and his dimple peeking out behind a 5 o’clock shadow.

“Come on, sweetheart, I’ll walk you to your car.”

He grabs your coat and your tote bag, slips his hand into yours, and leads you out to the parking lot.

a/n: I’m so sorry. This is ridiculous and I apologize for the no plot snl character porn fic.

Tags: @beskarandblasters @meveispunk

#Mr. Ben #mr. ben x reader #Mr. Ben snl #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro fics

144 notes · View notes

w-wren · 1 year

Text

Bunny hybrid Y/n x Genshin boys

Featuring :: Albedo, Thoma & Kaeya

Summary :: Just some moments of the three genshin guys with their bunny hybrid girlfriend

Warning :: non-proofread, slightly suggestive…ig?

Word Count :: 1273 words

Since 2023 is the year of the rabbit, I came up with this random idea. Still, if you’re reading, I hope you enjoy!

Albedo

• This man will carry out all kind all sorts of experiments on you. He’ll probably come across a random flower on the street, and go like, “Hmm, I wonder what will happen to Y/n if she eats this?” Of course, being the sweet heart he is, he’ll make sure he takes care of any side effects of his experiments.

• Having a strong passion for drawing, there’s no doubt that he’ll have you pose for all kinds of drawings. Even some…sussy ones. 😏 Your face turned as flaming red as Klee’s bombs when you came across one of your boyfriend’s sussy drawing of, ahem, a certain body part of yours 😏 😏 😏

• As a lover of dessert himself, he often suggests activities such as baking / cooking together. Not having much experience in cooking, he relies mostly on the recipe. You’ll see him spend 90% of the whole baking process reading the cook book. He’ll probably use his alchemy equipment to measure / contain the ingredients, I mean, accuracy counts for a lot, right? (Author-san has never cooked before hehe)

○♥︎♡

“So… 10.57g of sucrose, and 0.25g of sodium chloride…” Albedo murmured as he flipped through the cook book. Listening to him, your face just went like ??? “Uh… Bedo? We’re going to bake Sucrose???” The alchemist chuckled a little before he explained, “I’m referring to sugar, not our friend Sucrose.” “O-oh…” Your face immediately flushed red. He gently stroked your soft cheeks before bending down to kiss you on the forehead, “It’s alright darling. I’ll avoid using alchemy terms in the future.” “Mmm…”

After some slight struggling (You dropping the flour onto the ground, you adding too much salt thinking it’s sugar, you dipping your fingers into the bowl to taste some of the batter etc etc) in which your boyfriend just sighed and resolved for the both of you, the both of you were able to put the cake into oven quite quickly.

“Bedo, how long more does it need to bake?” You whined for the who knows how many times. Your ears drooped and a small pout appeared on your face. The man pecked at your huffed cheeks, “Darling, the timer says 25 more minutes.” You groaned, “That’s soooo long!” “Mhm…” “H-hey! B-bedo!” You gasped as your boyfriend suddenly straddled you closer to him, kissing the exposed parts of your breast. You felt his warm breath ghost your sensitive skin as he whispered silkily, “Well… Since we still have another 25mins to wait, I might as well keep the both of us entertained~”

Thoma

• Since you were part rabbit, so you eat carrots, right? That’s why this male wife came up with all sort of carrot dishes for you, like dango which dough is made up of flour + carrot juice, and filling is sweet carrot paste. He only started serving you regular food when you told him, “Uhmm… Thoma, I actually eat other foods apart from carrots too, so you don’t need to make me special food…” His face went blank after that…

• Apart from cooking, Thoma also excels in knitting, which is exactly why challenged himself to knitting you a winter hat. That turned out much harder than expected because he just couldn’t get the measurements of your ears right! “T-Thoma!” You would gasp and whine every time his hand / the ruler touched your sensitive ears. When he finally completed knitting your hat, you refused to wear it! 😫😫😫 “B-but love, you’re supposed to wear it! It’s a hat!” He protested with a small pout. “I might ruin it if I wear it! I don’t want waste your hard work!” You argued. Not wanting to argue with you, the hat officially resigned from being a hat.

• Thoma had a girlfriend and a lot of friends, but another group of companions always gets his special attention — the stray cats and dogs in Inazuma City! He makes them clothes and feeds them. Hearing him blab about those animals everyday, it took a lot of persuasion for you to believe that you were Thoma’s favourite and most adorable animal.

○♥︎♡

“Loveee, I promise! Maru doesn’t bite!” “Fine-” Despite having agreed to pet Taroumaru, you immediately withdrew your hand the moment the shiba barked at you. “He was just saying hi!” Thoma tried to persuade you, but you refused to listen. Being the smart dog he was, Taroumaru had his ways of persuading you to give his furry head a stroke.

“A-ah!” You yelped as the shiba leaped out of Thoma’s arms and pounced onto you, knocking you over. He then proceeded to licking you. “H-hey! I-it’s ticklish!” You couldn’t stop giggling as the dog’s tongue lapped against your skin. Seeing Taroumaru enjoying his time, your boyfriend couldn’t help but feel jealous. He knew how childish it was of him to get jealous over a dog, but you’re his girlfriend!

“Good boy, let Y/n have a rest.” Thoma lifted Taroumaru off you before he himself bent down over you, leaving hungry kisses all over your body. “Thoma…” You whined, looking up at the male. “Maru’s had his turn, so now it’s now my turn to enjoy you!”

Kaeya

• Being half rabbit, you were quite tiny, and he will not stop teasing you about your size. You’d hear him go like, “Hmm? Where are you, I don’t think I can see you?” when you’re right in front of him until you get pissed off.

• Another prank he likes to play on you was serving you stir-fried radish with sauce instead of your favourite carrot. After the dark sauce was added, the radish looks convincingly like carrots coz you can’t tell the colour. After falling for that prank once, you always tried to exercise caution when eating that dish cooked by your boyfriend, but you always fell for it anyways. Who could you blame for getting overly hyper whenever a dish looked like carrot?

• After finding out that you were afraid of water, he will unhesitatingly suggest activities like swimming and bathing together. He found it adorable to see your ears fall flat against your head as you trembled slightly. But hey, at least you got to spend time with your lover and get your regular bribe of carrots.

○♥︎♡

“K-Kaeya…” You whispered in protest when your boyfriend filled the bathtub up with water and dragged you into bathing with him. You were not going to stepping into that torture tub (bathtub) again! “Aww, but you agreed earlier…” Kaeya was trying so hard to hide his smirk as he said that. “Y-you promised me that there was only going to be half a tub of water!” You retorted, face turning slightly pink as you watched your boyfriend who was already starting to strip himself. “Hmm… I might have poured to much water in…” Kaeya murmured, voice filled with pseudo innocence.

“A-ah!” You yelped out as Kaeya dropped you into the bathtub. You grabbed for the man’s shoulders as you felt your ass slip on the bottom of the bathtub. Compared to the freezing coldness of the bath water which sent shivers down your spine, he felt so warm! “Now my little bunny wants me, huh?” Your boyfriend smirked as he pulled you into an embrace. You made a little “hmph!” sound. If it wasn’t for his genius idea, you wouldn’t be here freezing! He pressed a kiss at the base of your right ear, before praising, “You’ve been a good bunny today, how ‘bout carrots for dinner?” Your ears immediately straightened up in excitement as you pouted, “F-fine… You’d better give me more this time!” “Of course babe.”

251 notes · View notes

damn-stark · 1 year

Text

Chapter 4 This charming man

Tragedy at the Miller’s Chapter 4

A/N- Not ready for what’s coming

Warning- ANGST, talks of death, swearing, long chapter, fluff :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x06 (not all of it)

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

Family reunions are supposed to be heartwarming, joyful!

Maybe it was for the first 10 minutes, but now it’s awkward, there’s tension, there’d be deafening silence but the area you’re at is filled with the sound of obnoxious chewing. It’s an annoying sound, a usual pet peeve of yours, but right now, fuck it, it’s the first real meal you’ve had in two years.

“There’s more if you need it,” Maria interjects through the urgency of all the chewing.

“Thank you, ma’am,” your dad says when he finishes chewing. “It’s been a while since we’ve had a proper meal.”

You smile up at her with your mouth full of food and nod in agreement. Your uncle Tommy notices and shakes his head in disapproval, but he can’t help but smile faintly.

“Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper meal,” Ellie cuts in, causing you to slowly swallow your food and look at her with a bit of pity—“this is fuckin’ amazing.”

Your dad shoots her a pointed glare before looking up at the couple in front of him. “Sorry,” he apologizes for her, while you stifle your laugh with the food you shove in your mouth. “Ellie, let’s mind our manners.”

You smirk down at your food, but feel your uncle pat your back. “Don’t worry,” he adds. “Someone tends to have a way with words too.”

You look over at him and respond back with your mouth full of food. “I’m just expressin’ my freedom of speech.” You shoot him a smile and then return to eating, bringing back a bit of silence.

Albeit seconds later the peace is broken by Ellie snapping at someone behind you. “What?!”

You slowly peek behind you and see a girl storming off; you actually recognize her, albeit she was younger then. She liked to help with your sets when you did plays, she’s cool. But yes you understand Ellie’s…caution towards her just staring, but! you don’t get the snappy attitude.

“What’s wrong with you?” You remark Ellie with a pointed look.

“What about her manners?” She counters.

You roll your eyes and catch your uncle's curious gaze at that moment, so you can’t help but smirk faintly now in response—he’ll get hell of a kick out of her, he just needs to get to know her.

“She was just curious,” Maria tries to explain. “Kids around here don’t usually look or talk like you.”

“Right.” Ellie nods. “Well, maybe I’ll teach them. And I want my gun back.”

Yeah that’s not happening.

“They also aren’t armed,” Maria says.

You set your silverware down and grab your cup of water, whilst your uncle interjects. “You know what? Uh, I think maybe y’all got a little off on the wrong foot.”

“She was gonna have her guys kill us,” Ellie snaps right away.

“Well, we gotta be real careful about who we let in this place,” your uncle explains. “But it’s all bark. We’re just tryna scare off those who might wanna try us is all.”

You sit back and sip your water, only choosing to hear the argument being had.

You wouldn't be as…uhm…bold as Ellie, but you also understand her uneasiness of this place and all those people. You were new once too; afraid of everyone and cautious of everything.

“Well, you got a couple of 90-year-olds shitting themselves out there. Not much of a superstition, is it y/n?” She argues with a pointed glare aimed at you.

What? What the hell did you do?

“Ellie,” your dad warns her.

“They say that you leave dead bodies around?” Ellie remarks to your uncle and Maria again.

Now your uncle glances at you and passes an amused look at you right as Maria answers Ellie just as quickly. “Those are the people that tried us.”

“A bad reputation doesn't mean you’re bad,” your uncle adds.

“Not always, at least,” Maria adds in, and you catch her pointed look aimed at your father; which only makes you begin to frown as things get awkward. At least for you since you know the context behind her judgment.

“Ma’am,” your dad cuts in thereafter. “We’re grateful for your hospitality and all,” he pauses and looks between you, your uncle and Ellie. “But it’d be nice to have a moment here, maybe just for family.”

Oh right, given your silent treatment, you never actually talked much about this place or about your life here to him—that makes things uncomfortable. So you slouch and put your cup down to stare at the water.

“Well, uh,” your uncle interjects as he straightens up on his chair. “Maria is family, actually.”

You glance over at them and offer them a soft smile, but when you glance over at your father and see his face of slight disbelief your smile falters.

Why does he look so shocked? It was going to happen.

“Oh, shit! Congrats.” Ellie adds, but you can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic or genuine—probably sarcastic giving she’s not really liking Maria.

“Joel, say congrats,” Ellie whispers to your dad like if he’s some kid that needs a reminder.

A moment of awkward silence passes before your dad says it back a bit dryly. “Congrats.”

Can’t say you’re surprised, he didn’t like Henry at first either.

“She’s the one that helped me get this one through her teenage phase,” your uncle says and pats your shoulder to give it a small squeeze.

You look up at the both of them and smirk before glancing at your dad.

“I can’t say she made it hard,” Maria adds. “She was good…up until she left.”

You scoff and look over at her with a smirk. “Mama,” you whisper. “Besides, I wasn't a teenager then, I was 22.”

“You acted like one,” she rebuttals.

You roll your eyes in a lighthearted manner and shake your head, while your uncle grabs your shoulder and interjects with a lighthearted tone. “How old are you now, Sunny? Old?”

You snap your eyes to him and get ready to spat back, but he continues. “You even have gray hair there.” He points to the side of your head.

Your eyes go wide and you pick up your spoon to see your reflection through it, but he begins to snicker.

“Oh wait, it's just dirt.” He laughs.

You scoff and push his arm off you. “At least I can wash mine off, unlike you,” you counter and use your eyes to point to the white hairs on his side.

He snickers and you glance away, catching your dads gaze and slowly frowning as you catch that same hurt look you caught earlier. Your uncle Tommy notices a glimpse of your tension and sighs before breaking it. “How ‘bout a tour?”

Maria nods. “Yeah.”

Once you’re all completely done with your food you step out again. And you're not obligated to tag along, you knew this place already, it was home, but you want to accompany Ellie until she and your dad get some place to go for however long they’re staying—or correction for however long she’s staying, who knows if your dad has changed his mind about letting your uncle take her.

If he doesn’t then….you’ll go with her and your uncle. Even if being surrounded by the tall walls of Jackson made you finally feel completely safe, and let you drop the habit of needing to look over your shoulder every few seconds. Here you also didn’t have to live on the edge hoping that some infected wouldn’t creep up on you, or some fucker wouldn’t jump you out of nowhere. But if it meant being her one piece of support after your fathers abandonment, then it would be worth it being gone for one more month. Just for her, not for your dad.

“We settled here about seven years ago, just a handful of us then,” Maria tells Ellie and your dad. “That section…”

Her words trail off as suddenly you’re startled by an arm thrown around you. And when you snap your head over to your side, Apollo is next to you with a smile on his face.

“What’s wrong with you?” You quip as you fall behind the others doing the tour.

Apollo snickers. “Just checking you’re not some sort of hallucination.”

You roll your eyes and look ahead again. “I’d be a pretty cool hallucination,” you mumble and catch Ellie glancing at you over her shoulder when she doesn’t see you near her.

“Yeah,” Apollo agrees. “Good thing you aren't though.” He moves his other hand toward you to offer you a piece of dry meat. “Jerky?”

“Please,” you scoff and meet his gaze from the corner of your eyes. “I’ve had enough of jerky for now.” You then begin to smirk and hold his gaze as you throw him a reminder. “Aren't you supposed to be working bum?”

Apollo shrugs. “I was, but again, just checking on you, and…” he trails off and holds the piece of jerky in his mouth to reach into his back pocket and pull something out. “…give this to you.”

He pushes his hand towards you to show the Mariah Carey Daydream casette in his hand. “For you,” he says as he pulls out the piece of jerky from his mouth.

Your grin immediately widens and your eyes twinkle as you stop to take it from him. “Oh my god,” you squeal. “Where did you find this?!”

Apollo steps back and folds his arms over his chest to shrug smugly. “I have my ways. But I thought of giving it to you for Christmas when I saw you, but then I thought, why not give it to her now as a welcome home present.”

You meet his gaze with a smirk. “You were thinkin’ of me?” You tease.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” He quips lightheartedly.

You shoot him a smirk, and he holds your gaze to mirror the gesture for a lingering moment before you look down at your gift and smile softly. Albeit, you then can’t help but step forward to throw your arms around him.

“Thank you,” you whisper and hold onto him tighter, feeling your heart flutter, and a warmth that wants to mend the bleeding gap that was on it.

“You’re welcome,” he whispers back and rubs your back softly. “I missed you, you know.”

You smile sweetly and try to fight the tears that threaten to rush out at the simple feeling of this embrace. “I missed you too,” you redirect softly, but suddenly begin to feel a twinge of guilt now stab at you as you feel comfort and yearning for him in his embrace.

“Mia is at home,” Apollo says and pulls back to face you. “I haven’t told her yet so it can be a surprise.”

You smirk. “I’ll make her shit her pants.” You snicker.

“I’ll see you at home later, yeah?” He queries in a way that makes it seem like he’s almost afraid you would leave again. “I have a bottle of tequila and a movie of your choice ready for you for later.”

“Can’t wait,” you assure him with a sweet smile playing on your lips.

Apollo begins to walk back and nods as he holds your gaze for a lingering moment before he turns and walks off to go back to work. You now put your gift away and catch back up with your group heading to the barn.

“Who’s that?” Ellie immediately asks once you’re by her side again.

You glance at her and scoff softly before you answer. “My…best friend, Apollo.”

Ellie scoffs and begins to smirk as she turns her head away. “Okay,” she mutters.

You squint your eyes in confusion and immediately press her hint of smugness. “What?” You giggle nervously.

Ellie shrugs before she glances at you and bats her eyelashes as she just simply repeats herself. “Okay.”

Before you can further question her she runs ahead of the group as they’re entering the sheep pen.

“Hey, Joel, check it,” Ellie now directs to your dad, and proceeds to mimic the sheep to tease him. You would’ve laughed but she was just teasing you so you keep quiet and follow them.

“So are you, like, in charge?” Ellie asks Maria.

“No one person’s in charge,” Maria says. “I’m on the council. Democratically elected, serving 300 people, including children. Everyone pitches in. We rotate patrols, food prep, repairs, hunting, harvesting.”

“Everything you see in our town,” your uncle adds. “Greenhouses, livestock, all shared. Collective ownership.”

“So, uh,” your dad interjects, making you glance at him. “Communism.”

Your uncle sniffles. “Nah. Nah, it ain’t like that.”

No it is that. Exactly that.

“It is that,” Maria corrects him. “Literally. This is a commune. We’re communists.”

You smirk, and end up sharing an amused look with your dad before you both glance back at your uncle stopped behind you looking a bit baffled.

“No way!” Ellie exclaims, making you drift your attention back to her and noticing her rushing toward a cute brown foal.

“That’s our newest one,” Maria shares. “Couple months old. You wanna pet her?”

You smile and rush towards the foal too.

“Yeah, what’s her name?” Ellie asks.

“Shimmer.”

“Shimmer,” Ellie repeats as she begins to caress the little baby horse. “You’re so beautiful.”

You lean against the gate and scratch the side of her jaw.

“Well, I’m sure they’d like a shower,” Maria adds on, correctly of course. “Some new clothes. We can put Joel and Ellie in the empty house across the street from us.”

You pull your hand away from the horse and peer over your shoulder.

“Yeah,” your uncle agrees. “It’s a decent place. Pretty much untouched since ‘03, but it’s got the heat goin’ in it.” He nods. “Could do worse.”

“Oh,” you add. “We have been.”

Ellie nods in agreement, but your dad quickly rebuttals you. “We’ve been doin’ fine.”

Yeah cause sleeping in caves and taking watches to make sure you won’t get killed is fine. Whatever man.

“Well,” Maria adds a bit awkwardly. “I’ll take Ellie over there if you two wanna catch up?” She suggests as she looks between your dad and uncle, making you look between both men with curiosity.

Only if you could go too just to snoop and know if your dad would go through with it. And to know how it’d actually go between them.

“Yeah,” your dad agrees and passes a look with your uncle. “Okay.”

“Joel,” Ellie whispers with concern.

“You’ll be fine,” he assures her and walks off with your uncle without another word, making her watch him as he did so.

“Come on,” you encourage her and grab her shoulder to gently nudge her ahead towards Maria

Ellie begins to follow, but spares one more glance at your dads retreating figure. Once he’s no longer in view she immediately questions you. “Where are you going?”

“Not far from where you’ll be,” you assure her. “Just down 2 streets, and then a right. I live in a yellow house with a white fence around it. I’ll be there.”

Ellie glances at the ground and frowns deeper, so you nudge her gently and continue to assure her. “You can come over after you’re done showering, if you want. If I don’t answer the door my friend Mia will, just tell her you came to visit me and she’ll show you to my room, yeah?”

Ellie lifts her gaze with unsureness but nods regardless to assure you she comprehends. “Yeah,” she whispers. “Okay.”

Once you see Ellie off you walk to your own house. A place you always hoped you’d return to, a place you longed for on cruel days. Yet when you’re there, past the white fences gate, at the doorstep of your house, it feels…fucking weird. Like some dream. A good dream you were scared to wake up from.

What if opening the front meant waking up? That’d be terrible.

But you can’t know if you stand there, so you let out a deep breath and slowly wrap your hand around the knob. You hesitate for a second and close your eyes to hope it isn’t some dream—fuck. You open your eyes as you turn the knob and slowly push the green creaking door open. And luckily nothing vanishes, nothing comes at you. You walk in and you don’t fall into some dark abyss; it’s warm, it smells like cinnamon and a Christmas morning. All the furniture you can see is the same, Christmas decorations greet you at the entrance bringing the holiday cheer to the house.

When you close the front door behind you and you take your shoes off at the entrance, happy tears fill your eyes, and a wobbly smile spreads on your lips. You’re home! Home!

You laugh softly with relief and feel tears actually rush out of your eyes.

“Who’s home?” You hear a familiar voice ask from the hall.

You wipe the tears off your cheeks and walk towards the hall in a giddy silence as you also hear footsteps approach. Once you make it under the hall's archway you stop at the same time your friend does only mere inches away from her.

You begin to grin brightly, while she stands there with her eyes widened with disbelief.

“Hi, Mia,” you greet her.

Said girl studies you, the dirty outfit you’ve worn for months, she studies your face and looks into your eyes in that stunned silence that paralyzes her. Meanwhile you give her time to grasp your presence and study her too; her hair is still short due to her fear of having it pulled by infected like when she was young, it’s still dyed like last time, and she’s remained ageless.

“Wh-how?” She stammers before she closes the gap left between you with an embrace that almost knocks you back.

“Hey,” you murmur happily.

“Apollo was just here,” she says by your ear. “He didn’t tell me anything.”

You laugh softly. “Yeah, he wanted me to surprise you.” You pull back and grab her shoulders. “I've missed you.”

Tears roll down her cheeks, and her smile wobbles. “I missed you too,” she redirects. “So much. I was so worried.” She hugs you again and lets out a relieved sigh as she holds you in her arms.

Along with Apollo and Atlas, Mia was one of your oldest friends too. She was a firefly like them and you, she was also your best friend. You all basically grew up together when you were with the firefly’s, you were all unbreakable.

“Did you just get here?” Mia asks and pulls back to turn you around and lead you away from the hall. “Have you eaten already?”

You nod. “Yes, I ate just a few minutes ago, and yes I just got here….with my dad actually.”

Mia stops, making you stop along with her. “What?” She queries and turns to face you. She looks into your eyes to try and read your emotions, but she instead questions you more. “How are you feeling about that?”

You let out a deep sigh that makes your smile falter, and simply shrug. “I don’t know…besides angry, I don’t know where I’m at, but I guess we’ll see won’t we?”

Mia hums and caresses your shoulder, and smiles a lot softer. “I’m so happy you’re back home. You must want to take a shower, and sleep, so I’ll leave you be.”

Yeah until maybe an hour later where she’ll be checking on you.

“Your room has been untouched so everything is in its place,” she adds, and now walks you around the kitchen to walk you to your room like if you’re new and need a tour. “You’ll just need a towel which are out in the closet, you’ll need blankets, I can get those for you, uh, a razor, new sanitary stuff, I can go…” she continues on but you tune her out as you open the door to your room. And as she walks forward you stop just in front of the doorway.

“….We can bake something later,” you tune Mia back in. “We can make your favorite for dinner, Apollo and Atlas should be home then”

She was right, your room was untouched, every piece of furniture was in its place, every decoration and accessory was left the same way you left it. There wasn’t even dust, and didn’t smell odd, which is probably thanks to Mia; your room actually smells like flowers, oddly enough.

“Yeah,” you agree mindlessly with a nod. “Sounds good.”

Your picture wall was still up and well kept, your posters aren’t ripped, it’s all clean.

“Okay,” Mia says as she turns to walk out of the room. “I’ll leave you now and go get that stuff. Need anything else?”

You follow her leaving figure with your eyes and shake your head. “Nah, but if you are leaving mind leaving the front door unlocked, a girl named Ellie might come over so if you aren’t here and I’m in the shower she can just walk in.”

Mia looks immediately curious over who you mention but she doesn’t probe now, she’ll do it later, you’re sure of it. “Okay, I’ll leave a note then.” She lets you know and grabs your door handle to begin closing it as she walks out. “I missed you.”

You shoot her a sweet smile and quickly counter. “I missed you too.”

She offers you one last smile before she closes the door behind her, letting you turn back to fully take in the fact that you’re now standing back in your room—it’s fucking unbelievble, it fills you with happiness and comfort. And as if it’s your first time you walk to your closet first and pull it open, you run your fingers along all the clothes that are hung up and smile.

If you could describe your room to someone, let’s say Ellie, in a few words it would be Old Hollywood meets vintage old money aesthetic—albeit a post apocalyptic version considering you can’t fully fill your room with all the things you want and need….

Sucks…

Anyhow, you then skip on forward to your brown and gold vintage round vanity mirror, and the first thing you notice that wasn’t on it last time is a bouquet of fresh flowers with a small note.

‘Welcome home - Atlas & Apollo’

You smile and tuck the note back to its place to then swipe your fingers across the counter, making sure not to touch the few perfumes and fragile trinkets you had collected. You then proceed to walk to the corner of the room to brush your fingers along the strings of your guitar as you walk to your shelf with music records, cassettes and movies; it’s all still there and now you can add another to your collection, thanks to Apollo.

After that you then walk to your picture wall to study every single picture with a faint smile. The one that makes you the happiest though is the picture strip of Sarah and you; it’s one you had taken in one of those photobooths. Alas it’s when you see the family picture of Sarah, you, and your dad that the happiness turns to sadness, and that smile falls to a wobbly frown.

What would be of your lives now if she had lived? What would she say about your estrangement with your dad?

Would she be mad at the both of you?

Probably.

You were a little family, you were too young to know if it was anything other than perfect, but it worked…you were happy then….

God you miss her….him too. He’s close, here now in Jackson, but it feels like you're strangers. Strangers forced to be together, forced to travel together. You miss him and your relationship. The man he was wouldn't return, but you’re okay with the man he is now, as flawed as he is you’re okay with him, as tainted as his past is you’re okay with him. But, what you are…are strangers.

——

A deep relaxed exhale leaves your lips as you find comfort on your mattress, in your clean clothes, and refreshed body after a long and deep shower.

Fuck that felt good, it’s like you took decades of dirt off you. It’s like you feel fucking lighter because of it now too. Maybe a week-long sleep would suit you well, maybe you can even hibernate like a bear, that’d be nice.

You smile to yourself and only sit up to put on your headphones, and turn your music on blast now that you don’t have to worry about what’s around you—You’ll go deaf your uncle Tommy and Mia would say, but who cares, it’s fun getting lost in the music.

That’s what you do listening to the cassette Apollo gave you. However, not for long because you then feel a nudge on your leg, and when you sit up there Maria is with a very deep purple jacket in hand.

“Hey,” you greet her as you pull your headphones down to your neck. You then look around for Ellie, but she’s not here. “Where’s Ellie?”

“I left her at the house,” Maria says. “I went to grab her this.” She lifts the jacket in her hand, and you scoff in amusement.

“It’s very purple,” you point out.

“Plum,” she corrects you and sits by you on your bed. “I just came to check on you, make sure you were settling in well.”

You sigh with relief and nod. “Yeah, it feels good being back home and showering, and changing clothes.” You let out a deep exhale and fall back on your bed. “I missed it, never let me leave for that long ever again.”

“I tried that the first time, you fought against logic,” she argues.

You shrug to brush her off. “Let’s call it an existential crisis, yeah?” You snicker.

Maria lets out a long sigh that means nothing good, so you sit up and narrow your gaze on her.

“What?” You immediately question.

Maria glances down and doesn’t hold back. She never did. “How did you end up with the cause of that existential crisis?”

Oh yes, you should've known she wasn’t going to leave it alone.

You blow out air and begin to fiddle with the string of your headphones. “We ran into each other at…KC. We were coming to the same place so we decided to travel together.”

Maria scoffs. “Months on the road and nothing seems mended,” she says. “Did he even try?”

You swallow thickly and shake your head softly. “No, but,” you add and pick at the fluff on your sheets. “It’s not like I tried either…if it wasn’t for that girl I don’t think I would’ve stayed with him.”

There’s a moment of silence before she picks on that. “Who is she?”

No one can know Ellie’s immune, as much as you trust Maria, it’s now up to your dad and Ellie to tell who they want, not you.

“A girl, some important firefly’s daughter he was ordered to deliver,” you lie and look up at her so she wouldn’t find you suspicious. “That’s all I know. He isn’t much for sharin’.”

Maria hums and doesn’t seem to find you suspicious so she moves on. Thankfully.

“Look, you’re an adult, you know what’s right from wrong, but you have too much of a good heart….”

You blink and avert your gaze to sigh.

“I don’t want to see you tormenting yourself any longer because of that man y/n—”

“He’s my dad, mama,” you cut her off with no anger or judgment, you cut her off quietly, sadly. “I can’t….” You pause and draw in a deep breath as you feel the need to cry slowly building up. “I can’t just,” you sigh, “forget him. No matter how much he’s hurt me. I can’t do that to him…or her…she’d be devastated.”

Maria carefully grabs ahold of your hand, making you lift your eyes to meet her soft yet hard gaze.

“I just don’t want to see you hurt,” Maria adds softly.

You offer her a comprehensive nod.

“Your uncle Tommy and I are always here, we’re here for you no matter what,” she continues and this time begins to caress your cheek. “You don’t need him. If those plants are dead there’s no need to waste water.”

You stiffen and draw in another shaky breath. You don’t add anything in his defense, you can’t come up with anything else to say but what you already put out.

“Whatever happens to that girl,” she adds on in your silence. “You protect her from him—”

Now you have something to say. “He’s not a bad guy,” you cut her off and meet her gaze with a pointed glare. “He’s just…tough because of what he’s lived through. But he’s not a bad guy.” You understand that now.

Maria raises her chin and doesn’t retreat. “He left you, his own daughter, tell me if that makes him good?”

You blink rapidly as you’re cut off guard by her comment.

“I’m just looking out for you,” she further explains herself. “You’re my family, I love you as if you were my own daughter which is why I just want to protect you.” She pulls her hand away and stands up. “And that girl doesn’t deserve to have her heartbroken by him.”

Maria then waits if you’d say something, but there was nothing you could add anymore, so you let her leave.

“I’m taking Ellie to the movies, enjoy the night with your friends, okay? And at night if it’s hard to sleep, the door will be open, you can sleep in your old room.” She offers.

You break your eyes from the bed to look at her in front of you and nod slowly. “Yeah, okay. Thank you.”

“If you don’t come tonight then come over for breakfast tomorrow, I can make pancakes.”

“Okay sounds good I’ll be there.” You assure her and offer her a very faint smile.

Maria walks to the door and lingers there for a moment before she walks out and closes the door behind you, letting you then throw yourself back to contemplate what was just discussed. She’s right about Ellie, but maybe he deserves time to explain himself to you, even after you said you’d be done with him. He deserves one more chance, if he doesn’t want to try and heal what’s broken then…you’ll stay true to your word and be done with him, for good…

You sigh and slide your headphones back on before flipping around on the bed to attempt and get lost in the music again.

However, now! Now…agony and grief slams back into you just as you were doing good today not thinking about Henry and Sam. All because of the stuffed giraffe on your bed that reminds you of them.

It happens all the time, one minute you think that you’ll get over it, that you’ll heal past that grief and let them be beautiful memories, but it hits you like a ferocious wave. And it’s hard to swim up when it does, you’re slowly drowning each time, sinking deeper and deeper. Not only that but looking at your dad everyday doesn’t make it any easier, there’s just more force that pushes you further down.

Funny and unexpected enough though, it’s been Ellie who has been such a….relief, a breath of fresh air, that ounce of hope that helps you get over the surface. Without her honestly it would’ve been hard getting back home.

Still…as of now it’s taking you again, that damned wave, so you take your headphones off and leave your music on the bed to instead grab the stuffed giraffe and walk outside to your backyard.

The precious meadow that you had grown is under a blanket of snow, much like everything else outside, so you can’t find a bit of bliss there. However, there is something new outside connected to the small white fence that surrounds the cement patio, a wooden bench swing with a canopy and all, hm.

It’s smooth, sturdy, and nice. Now you don’t have to get your ass wet on the snow. Maybe your uncle Tommy built it? Or maybe Mia’s boyfriend built it for her, he thinks himself a carpenter.

Whatever the case, you sit down and just ponder in the silence, watching the stuffed giraffe in your hands and thinking about them; about Henry most of all. You let time pass even as you begin to get cold, and don’t really come back to reality until you hear the backdoor close behind you.

When you sit up and look back you see your uncle Tommy walking to you.

You put the stuffed giraffe down and then beam at him. “Hey!” You greet him.

He offers you a sweet smile and pushes the gate open to walk over to you. “Hey, Sunny,” he greets back. “I’m sorry I let myself in, there was a note on the door.”

You shake your head and pat the open space by you. “Don’t worry about it,” you assure him and watch him study the bench with a smirk.

“Apollo built this for you, did you know?”

You blink in surprise and shake your head as your heart begins to flutter. “No, I didn’t.”

He hums and takes his seat, but rubs the armrests. “Yeah, he said that it’d be a good touch so you wouldn’t have to lay on the grass all the time. Or if you didn’t make it back home then it’d be hell of a memorial...it wasn’t really funny then,” he laughs softly. “But it is now.” He clasps his hands on his lap and glances at the stuffed giraffe before meeting your gaze. “He’s always had a sweet spot for you. He’s a good guy.”

You slowly grin and drop your head to nod. “I know.”

Is he implying something?

“Did you talk to my dad?” You probe and glance up at him. “You guys catch up?”

Your uncle lets out a deep sigh and nods stiffly. “Something like that. We…sorta got into an argument.”

You click your tongue and nod slowly in comprehension. “Sorta?” You probe.

“It wasn’t big but you know how he is.”

You nod. “Yeah,” you sigh.

Your uncle notices the frown and the sadness return in your eyes, so he presses you. “You, have you talked to him?”

You look on ahead at the snow covered meadow and shrug. “Sorta. We talked when we first reunited in KC, but after….after I just got mad at him all over again. I haven’t talked to him since.”

“Is that what has you all down?” He asks and hits you right where it hurts. He knows you too well.

Your eyes sting and your throat begins to feel all clumped up with all the emotions that rapidly build up, but you hold it back as best as you can and try to assure him. And yourself. “I..I don’t want to ruin today.” You offer him a strained smile. “We can talk about it some other day.”

Your uncle shifts in his seat to face you better and doesn’t brush it off. “I cleared up my whole day today for your dad, and for you. I have time to talk. Talk to me.”

He was never one to shy away from an emotional conversation, not with you anyway. Not like your dad. Your uncle Tommy was good that way, open and understanding. Not closed off and dismissive. You owe who you became through all the tragedy to him. It’s sad to admit but if you had been completely raised by your father you would have turned out like him perhaps.

Yet it’s quite hard saying what comes to mind. You part your lips to try and speak, but all you can muster is a shaky breath as you clutch onto the stuffed giraffe.

Your uncle doesn’t press you, he waits until you can finally mutter out.

“Can you tell me…” you pause briefly and glance down at your hands. “If somethings wrong….with me?” You ask in a quivering voice and slowly look up at him, catching his confusion and disbelief.

“My dad left rather than staying with me….and,” you continue through tears. “…the guy that I…loved killed himself rather than wanting to be with me. And I know it sounds selfish, h-he was just grief stricken, his little brother died….but we were partners…and,” you sniffle. “And he left me. So please be honest with me, tell me that I’m no good, that I’m a failure because that’s what I feel.”

Your uncle Tommy lets out a shaky sigh and immediately grabs your face to wipe away your tears and comfort you. “There is nothing wrong with you, baby, nothing. That guy…seems like he couldn’t handle what he felt, it happens, but you had nothing to do with it. And your dad,” he exhales and caresses your cheek. “Your dad did what he thought was best because he loves you. Losing your sister took a lot from him, but that doesn’t mean that somethings wrong with you, he loves you, and leaving was his way of showing it.” He says try and comfort you, and then pulls you in for an embrace, but you only sob more in the comfort of his arms.

You can hardly breathe, your chest feels heavy, your mind is racing, and your heart feels like it was going to jump out of you. Now you couldn’t hold anything back.

“I couldn't help him, he got bit and I couldn’t help. I couldn’t save Henry either, I should’ve just snatched the gun from him but I froze, and I couldn’t help him…just like I couldn’t help Sarah…” you spill out now through sobs.

Your uncle pulls back and grabs your shoulders to keep you close so you’d listen to what he had to redirect. “Sarah was not your fault, you understand that? There was nothing none of us could have done, especially not you, you were only 4. You understand?”

You keep your eyes averted and nod. But that isn’t enough for him.

“Look at me y/n,” he orders, causing you to slowly raise your eyes. “It wasn’t your fault. And I know I don’t know those people you knew, but one thing I am sure about is that it isn’t your fault what happened to them.” He wipes more tears off your cheeks and leans in closer so you’d listen intently. “You cry as much as you want, grieve as long as you need to, but you move on, you keep living for them. You understand? Don’t lose yourself, that’s the worst thing we can do. You understand me?”

You nod through heavy tears and get pulled into a tighter embrace that you sink into, that you bask in for a moment without saying anything. All until your heart slows down, and your head isn't filled with so much noise.

“Thank you uncle Tommy, thank you for listening,” you whisper and pull back to face him with a gentle smile. “I missed you.”

He offers you a sweet smile and wipes away more stray tears. “I missed you too, Sunny.”

You sit back and watch the delicate snowflakes begin to fall from the sky. You sit in silence next to your uncle with a much lighter feeling on your chest.

“I have to tell you something,” your uncle breaks the silence with an obvious nervous voice.

You blink and look at him with a teasing smile and a curious gaze. “What? Oh my, don't tell me…are you pregnant?”

Your uncle meets your gaze and doesn’t laugh even if you said it as a joke, he instead lets out a deep breath and just holds your gaze with the same nervous look that clues you in that you might have guessed right.

“Are you?” You ask seriously now and lean in.

He averts his gaze and nods, making you slowly begin to grin with utter fucking joy. “That’s amazing news, uncle Tommy!” You exclaim and jump off your seat out of excitement. “That’s like, the best news ever.”

Yet you couldn’t help but begin to feel just a bit envious. You were happy, excited, of course you were, but you couldn’t help but feel a smidge of envy. You never thought of that before, you never yearned for that, a family of your own; you were younger, hurt by your own issues with your dad, there was too much going on in your head to even think about that, you wouldn’t have made a good wife nor a good mother. But now after returning from your country wide trip, now after hearing that your uncle's family is growing, there’s this want growing in your own heart. There doesn’t even need to be a baby, but a partner would be nice.

“Why the long face?” You press as he doesn’t seem to match your excitement.

Your uncle sighs. “I'm just nervous, that's all. I’m very fuckin’ nervous, you know it’s going to be a whole human being. I just don’t know…” he trails off.

You giggle and sit back down next to him. “You have nothing to be nervous about, you’re gonna be a good father,” you assure him. “You might not be mine, but you were—are like one, and you did good.”

Your uncle meets your gaze with a soft look and a soft smile. “Thank you, Sunny,” he says.

You grin brighter at him and can’t help but get even more excited. “I’m finally gonna have a cousin, man. I mean I would have appreciated one like 20 years ago, 22 years ago, but I can teach them things now. I’m wiser now.”

He chuckles and then corrects you. “Sister,”

You snap your eyes to him and stiffen.

“You might not be mine, but you are like my daughter.” He says with a smile. “Mine and Maria’s.”

Your eyes water again, but you hold back your tears now and just laugh softly. “Can I hug you now, or do you want to celebrate with a shot?” You add.

“One wouldn’t hurt, but I’ll take that hug too,” he says and lets you throw your arms around him for a tight embrace.

“Thank you for telling me, I needed to hear some good news.”

He smiles and caresses your back. “I’m glad. I’m happy it made you smile.”

You giggle and pull back to shoot him another beaming smile.

He smiles now too and interjects. “Thank you, I needed that too. Made me feel better.”

You lay down on his lap and can’t stop smiling over the news. He sits back and lets his arm rest on you to enjoy each others presence and relish in the joy he brought.

“Don’t push me in the snow,” you warn him as he begins to make the swing sway back and forth. “I just took a shower.”

He scoffs. “Don’t give me ideas, ‘cause I’ll do it. Unless you’re gonna go snitch to your daddy now that he’s here.”

You giggle. “Don’t give me ideas.”

He slowly slides his hand to your back and applies a small amount of pressure, making you stiffen and hang onto the bottom of the seat. “Don’t,” you warn him.

“I ain’t doing nothin’.” He chuckles.

You turn and look at him with a pointed glare, but all he does is smirk mischievously. He then moves his arm back where it was so you turn back to face ahead.

Yet that’s when he gets you and pushes you off the seat, making you fall in the snow.

“Oops,” you hear him say.

You slap your hands on the cold ground, and slowly sit up on your knees to wipe the snow off your face roughly as you turn your head to glare at him.

“Go on,” he says with a stifled laugh. “Bring out your guitar so we can tune it up. Let’s make sure you haven’t forgotten that talent of yours.”

“Fine,” you grumble and stand up to brush the snow off your body. “I’ll get the bottle too.”

You’re only not getting him back because you just got back and because he shared that news with you. You’ll get him back though. Old fucker.

——

*LATER*

The tv played one of your favorite movies, but it played for no one since you and your friends gathered around the living room and got lost gossiping, drinking and playing some card game Atlas insisted on playing to make drinking “more fun”. That cinnamon scent that basked the room was pushed away by the smell of food Mia had made and the alcohol in your cups.

“That’s total bull,” you complain to Atlas about the number of infected he’s killed.

He scoffs. “You can’t say that, you weren’t here.”

You pull away from Mia’s arms wrapped around your neck to lean closer to Atlas. “That number is too high. I don’t believe you.”

Atlas shrugs. “Don’t believe me then, but I did kill that many.”

You roll your eyes and meet Apollo’s gaze to press him for the truth. He however shrugs and just shares a small smirk with you.

“I’ll let you off the hook and tell you how many I killed if you say the truth,” you suggest.

“No,” Atlas blurts and pushes you back to Mia with his foot, making you scrunch your nose in disgust. “You were out in the world, your number doesn’t count.”

“Sure,” you snicker. “You old vanity. You just don’t want me to beat you. You can’t take it. You’re too fragile.”

“Whatever,” he grumbles. “Can we just continue with the damn game before someone here talks about herself.”

You smirk. “I am a very interesting person. Just ask your dad.”

Atlas narrows his gaze and scoffs, whilst you and Mia high five.

“Okay, really did any of us get the number right?” Mia’s boyfriend asks to keep the game going.

You look between them all and shake your head. “Nope, you all drink.”

They all groan and Atlas is the one that mumbles of course. “That’s impossible.”

You watch them all take their shots with a playful smirk, but once you land on Apollo, your eyes linger and your smile softens. However, you then catch him shifting his gaze your way so you quickly look away and just feel his stare.

There’s something different about him now compared to before, the look in his eyes, his face maybe. He was never immature as his little brother is still til this day, but Apollo is far more mature than before. More handsome maybe—well he always was you just never gave it too much thought, you were far too troubled for that. And he was—is your best friend….

Damn….there’s that guilt stabbing at you again.

“Okay!” Atlas exclaims and sits up. “My turn, let’s change this game to the Apollo game.”

Mia groans. “Atlas that game is stupid. We know everything about each other—”

“Y/N’s been gone,” Atlas cuts her off. “So, let’s go on. Remember we make a statement about her and if it’s true she drinks, and you are then you drink, okay? Okay! Come on now SunnyD get up.”

You roll your eyes and sit up to drag yourself between Apollo and Mia.

“Okay,” he keeps yelling and does a drum roll on the ground. “You’ve been in love.”

Fuck.

You swallow thickly and get ready to answer, but a knock then raps on the door at that precise moment. Much to your excitement actually.

“Oh!” You jump up. “I’ll get it, you know how much I’ve missed actually answering a door without fearing for my life.” You run over to answer the door, and Achilles gets out of the couch to follow you to the door.

And much to your surprise once you open it you see your dad outside.

“Daddy,” you mutter in disbelief. “Hey.” You sligtly furrow your brows in confusion due to his very much vivid presence.

Your dad averts his gaze to stare at the ground and swallows thickly before stating his reason for this late visit. “Can we talk?” He asks.

Your heart skips a beat, and you grow speechless for a second. “Uh….sure, come in.”

He looks up at you and shakes his head. “No,” he says and glances past your shoulder to steal a glance at all your friends sitting in the living room listening in. “Can we take a walk?”

Must be important if he bothered to come all this way. “Okay,” you whisper and open the door wider. “Come in, I need to grab my jacket and my shoes.” You step aside and he shuffles inside awkwardly, causing the curious dog to sniff him before he runs back to Apollo.

“Uh,” you interject and walk to the end of the hall. “Now that you’re here, meet my friends from when my uncle Tommy and I were fireflies.” You point to Mia first. “That’s my friend Mia. And that next to her is Arthur, her boyfriend. Over there,” you point to the dark haired boy. “Is Atlas, and,” you shift your eyes to Apollo and smile softly. “That’s Apollo. Guys,” you breathe out. “This is my dad, Joel.”

Mia offers him a very faint half smile and simply waves, and her boyfriend does the same, whilst Atlas smirks and throws up a peace sign and a very quick greeting. “‘Sup.”

Gosh.

“Hi,” Apollo greets more properly, but stays sitting down. “It’s very nice meeting you Mr. Miller.”

You glance at your dad and see him just offer them a stiff wave and a dry greeting. “Hello there.”

Better nothing, and better than a gun to their heads.

“Okay,” you breathe out awkwardly. “I’m going to get my stuff.” You offer your friends a quick smile before you run off to your room to get what you need, whilst your mind races and spins with all the different outcomes to what could be said.

He doesn’t seem mad. Maybe it’s about his heart.

Or about choosing…no, it can’t be that. Positive thoughts only.

You let out a deep exhale before leaving your room to join your dad back at the entrance. “Okay,” you encourage him and throw a quick wave at your friends. “I’ll see you guys.” You open the door and walk out to the snowy night with your dad at your heels.

You expect to see Ellie waiting outside, but she’s not here, it’s only him.

“Where’s Ellie?” You ask as he now walks by your side when you exit your yard and now get on the street.

“Uh, she’s at the house,” he answers. “I just…wanted to talk to you. Alone.”

You shoot him a nervous glance and let out a small exhale. “Okay,” you whisper and grow even more nervous. “What’s wrong?”

You catch your dad scratching the back of his head and averting your gaze at all costs. “Just…just give me some time…I’m not that good at this.”

This doesn’t help whatsoever.

“Alright,” you whisper and glance at the falling snow as you take a turn to exit the street you lived on.

“I just,” he interjects and fists his hands. “I just need you to hear me, that's all I want, you don’t need to say anything, you don’t owe me nothin’. I just need you to hear what I have to tell you. Okay?”

You blink rapidly and nod. “Okay,” you whisper.

But he ends up taking another long moment to himself to think of the reason why he brought you out in the cold so late at night. You even pass your uncle's house, his own house that he was given to stay at. You pass lit streets, and only fill the silence with the crunches of your feet against the snow. You make it to the center of town where the large glowing Christmas tree brings cheer to the town.

“I,” he breaks his silence. “I’m sorry.”

You gasp softly and stop in your tracks as his words…words you never thought you’d hear, words he hasn’t spoken in a long time register in your mind.

“I’m supposed to be the one protecting you,” he continues and stops to turn around to face you. “I was the one who was supposed to teach you how to be the person you are now, I was the one who…needed to watch you grow up, but I…I let you down. I left,” his voice breaks. “I left you even if I knew your mother, even if I knew….Sarah would be mad. I left you, I hurt you…” his breath shudders and you can’t hold back your own tears now, no matter how much you wanted to fight them away.

“And I’m so ashamed of it,” he adds as…tears roll down his cheeks. “I am. But I don’t regret it,” he reveals and meets your watery gaze. “Because if I didn’t leave, you wouldn’t be who you are now, a strong, independent woman. You would only be angry like me, you’d be vain, and a monster.”

You shake your head against his words, but don’t say anything, you keep listening to him.

“I just wish I would have done things differently,” he mutters with more tears steaming down his face, tears that shock you to your core, leave you speechless and heartbroken.

“I’m sorry,” he says again in a tearful voice. “I am. There will never not be a day where I don’t regret how I hurt you.” He shakes his head and steps towards you. “And you have every right to keep on hatin’ me, to move on and not deal with me. I don’t blame you, I wouldn't. I just needed you to hear what I owe you.”

You let out a shaky breath and look up to watch the snowflakes dance down from the sky, littering the ground with their white icy texture, and making the ground twinkle against the street lights yellow hue, against the beautiful colors that wrap the grand green tree a few feet away from you. You watch the sky to take in all his words, to gather your own thoughts.

“I…” you murmur against the winter wind that blows past you. “I don’t understand,” you cry and look down at him, but his face blurs because of your tears, and the twinkling lights cloud him and your vision. “Why….why me? I….” you shake your head. “I love too easily…I don’t like to see the reality of things because it makes me sad, I dream too big and too much, I…I’m too boastful,” you sob.

“I’m not strong, I’ve never been. I’ve tried to change for you, I’ve tried to be a better daughter, one—one who you’d be proud of, but I can't, and you can’t ignore it…you can’t,” you shake your head with your quivering lip and step back away from him. “I’m not enough. I'm not perfect like Sarah was, I’m not…important like Ellie, I’m nothing,” you whisper. “You deserve better. You do.”

Your dad lets out a shaky breath and nods as more tears escape past his eyes. “It’s true,” he admits. “You might be a bit boastful, you might see the beauty of the world and hold onto too much hope, your dreams might be too big, but,” he quivers and takes a step towards you. “That is why I love you. I love every bit of it. I have loved it since the moment I held you in my arms for the first time. You…you are everything to me, baby, you are the reason I keep livin’, you are my entire world, and the beauty that this world lost. You are what makes all this worth it, you are everything to me.”

You scoff softly at his words and let out a shaky sob as you find them beautiful yet unbelievable.

“I’m sorry,” he says again and gets close enough so he can cup your cheeks. “I can’t do this without you. I can’t lose you too.”

You grab his hands, you hold onto them as you hold his teary gaze for a moment, before you throw your arms around him.

He’s caught off guard for a few seconds, but he then hugs you back and presses you against his chest and rests his head on yours.

You don’t have the luxury of time, neither of you, and you know you’d only hate yourself if something happened to him and you couldn’t say what you feel.

“I forgive you,” you assure him and hold onto him tighter. “I do. I forgive you.”

He lets out a relieved sigh and clutches onto you as his tears soak your head.

“Will you forgive me?” You ask, and he quickly pulls back to hold your face in his hands and look at you with confusion. “For not trying either. I should’ve tried too. And for that I’m sorry.”

Your dad quickly shakes his head and wipes away your tears. “You have nothin’ to apologize for, okay? Nothing.”

You sniffle and smile softly. “Still, I'm sorry, just take it, okay?”

He scoffs in protest, but nods regardless before he pulls you in for another tight and loving embrace, letting you find comfort in his warmth that wraps around you, and by the sound of his beating heart that eases as you hold him close to you.

“I love you,” he says by your ear. “So so much.”

You laugh softly and nod. “I love you too. I do.”

He gives you one last squeeze before you both pull away from each other and face the Christmas tree in a peaceful silence, hand in hand. You linger there until you remember what you have for him.

“Can I give you an early Christmas present?” You ask rhetorically.

But he still answers. “I don’t have anything for you, and well you shouldn’t.”

You scoff and turn to pull him back to your house.

“Look,” he interjects. “One more thing, about Henry….”

You blink and feel your smile falter.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.”

You swallow thickly and shake your head. “There was nothing you could do. Nothing any of us could do…” it’s sad to admit now, it tears your heart apart, but it’s true.

“But,” your dad continues. “You’ll be okay?”

You glance over at him and hesitate a moment before you nod softly. “I will. With time. The best thing we can do…is move on.” You know that now after the talk with him, he lifted that weight off you, and helped you from drowning under the depths of the suffocating waters. “As hard as it is, as impossible as it may seem now, we have to live for them, because we don't have the luxury of time….so that’s the best thing we can do, right?”

Your dad lets his eyes linger on you for a moment before he smiles softly. “I would’ve never thought of that…it’s sweet.”

You smile softly and hum, leaving the rest of your walk to your house silent. Once you do reach your house, your friends are still out, but calmer. “Excuse me,” your dad directs at them as you make him follow you to your room.

“Now I didn’t have time to wrap it, but it’s the thought that counts,” you tell him and turn the light on in your room. And luckily the gift is easy to find on your vanity.

“This room is…very you,” your dad comments as you hear him walk over to the corner of your room where your guitar is. “You play better now?”

You scoff and snatch the disc from your vanity to turn and face him. “Yes,” you admit. “I mean I'm not as good as you, but I’m better than I was before.” You grin and then close the gap between each other to hand him his favorite movie, Curtis and Viper 2.

“I never payed much mind to it before, but I watched it for the first time a couple years back, and it’s not bad,” you share. “That is the movie though, right? All I could remember were the funny men from the cover.”

Your dad looks down at the disc in his hands and immediately smiles. “You’re right,” he assures you, letting you let out a relieved sigh. All this time you thought you’ve been wrong—“It’s a great movie,” he adds. “Where you find it?”

You smirk. “I found it in the tunnels at KC. I just never got the chance to give it to you. You like it?”

He meets your gaze and nods. “I love it, baby. Thank you.”

You smile sweetly and clap softly out of joy. He notices your smile and his smile softens.

“It’s not that late yet,” you add, “even if it looks so. My tv works….I can pop it in. If you want.” You suggest.

Your dad doesn’t hesitate—he can’t turn you down, so he nods. “Go on, pop it in.”

You squeal softly and take the movie from him to now head to your small tv. “You can lay on the bed, just take your shoes off.”

He hums, and as you’re putting on the movie you hear your bed sink and shoes thump on the ground. And as overjoyed as you are, someone comes to mind and brings your mood down slightly. Yet you don’t bring her up until you’re laying down next to him watching the previews play with your head on his chest, finding comfort by the sound of his heartbeat and his arm around you.

“About Ellie,” you bring up without shame, hoping he’d be honest. “What are you goin’ to do?”

Your dad lets out a deep sigh and you feel him swallow thickly. “I’m not the man I used to be,” he admits quietly as he caresses the side of your head. “I’m old now. You know that, I’m…not strong enough no more, but…trust me when I say I'm going to do my best by her.”

He’s right about being old, but is he right about letting her leave?

You can’t let her leave with just your uncle Tommy. You know that heartbreak too well, and you know your dad has the best intentions, you wouldn't have seen that yourself before, but hopefully she’ll see it with time. If that’s what he wants. You can’t force him to do anything.

“Alright,” you trust him. “But whatever happens, I’m going with her, I’m seeing her off. For her and for what she can mean to the firefly’s and humanity,” you say softly. “I owe it to Sam, to everyone else that I’ve lost to that infection.”

Your dad lets out a deep breath. “That’s fine,” he says. “That’s good. Your Uncle Tommy plans to take her tomorrow morning. It’s a week's ride.”

You just got home, but fuck it. One more trip and that’s it.

“What about you?” You probe. “What will you do?”

He stays quiet for a moment and watches the movie finally start. “I don’t know.” He breaks his silence.

You sigh softly. “That’s fine,” you assure him. “Just…do what’s best by her, and you. Okay? Promise?”

“I do,” he whispers. “I promise.”

You smile softly. “Good,” you whisper.

——

*THE NEXT MORNING*

Flashlight?

Check.

Extra clothes?

Check.

Books to read?

Check.

Multiple pairs of fingerless gloves that keeps your hands warm but helps with other purposes?

Check.

New cassettes to listen to?

Check.

Every other little thing that goes in the backpack?

Uh….check!

Weapons?

Need to check those out, but it’s all here. Good. You get off the edge of your bed and once you’re at the door you make sure to be quiet since it’s still pretty early and neither person living here gets up just yet.

However, as you quietly step out of your room you almost run into Mia waiting outside of your door with her arms over her chest, and her dark eyes piercing your very soul—she’s pissed. She knows.

“Mornin’,” you greet her with a small smile.

Mia doesn't return it, or return that same energy. She remains pissed.

“Don’t,” she cuts you off. “Don’t smile at me like everything’s okay.”

She might be shy and gentle, but she’s no one to mess with when she’s upset. Like now.

“You’re leaving again.” She knows. How?

You lose your smile and let out a deep sigh. “Yes,” you admit. “I am but not for long. Maybe just a month this time, or even less. I just need to see someone off.”

Mia shakes her head and her brows furrow deeper. “Can’t someone else do that? You just got home from a 2 year trip. A trip you probably barely survived…”

“Mia,” you interject to try and comfort her concern, but she continues and drops her arms to her sides to take an angry step towards you.

“No. No! We waited, I waited for you for 2 years, everyday I prayed that you wouldn’t meet the same fate everyone else did; my mom, my brother. I waited and now you’re leaving again.”

You swallow thickly and quietly mention who you’re going with this time in hopes that would help. “I’m going with my uncle Tommy. I’ll be back, I came back this time. I promise.”

“No, that’s no excuse—”

“And you can’t make me stay,” you cut her off this time. “I appreciate your concern, I do, but I have to see this girl off, I have to make this worth something…I lost people Mia, a guy I loved, and his brother who I adored…he got bit….” You pause and swallow back thickly. “If taking her might be worth something I have to do it for them.”

Mia seems puzzled by what you said since she doesn’t see the bigger picture, but she doesn’t argue now.

“I’ll come back,” you assure and take another step toward her to take her hands in yours. “I promise. I won’t leave after that. I’ll stay home. Just one more trip.”

Mia drops her gaze and hesitates before she nods softly and whispers, “okay. One more.” She then pulls her hands away to wrap you in an embrace. “Come back, okay?”

You return her embrace and nod. “I will,” you assure her. “I swear.” You give her one gentle squeeze before you pull away to offer her one last smile before you continue your way outside.

Yet, of course, as you walk past your yard, there, against the fence is Apollo with a backpack, and Achilles waiting next to him. How the hell did they know you’re leaving?

Did they overhear?

“Apollo?” You question and come to another stop.

Achilles runs to you and rubs his body against you before sitting by your side now, while Apollo turns to face you as he drops his folded arms down to his sides.

“I can get the horses, you check out the weapons.” He peels away from his spot and steps off the sidewalk, whilst you just look at him in disbelief.

“Hold up, where are you going?” You interrupt him.

Apollo stops in his tracks and just peers back. “I’m going with you and Tommy.” He mentions it casually.

You blink in disbelief and let out a breathless laugh. “What?” You shake your head. “Why?”

Apollo turns around completely and looks almost surprised you’d ask such a question. “I accidentally overheard you and your dad talking on my way to bed last night—”

Sure. Accidental.

“I'm not sitting on my ass here while you’re off risking your life and having all the fun—“

You scoff softly.

“Besides,” he adds in a softer voice. “I don’t want to wait for you to come back home again. I’ll go with you this time.”

You breath traps in your throat out of disbelief over his words, and a soft smile begins to appear on your features. “That’s nice,” you tell him. “Very…but…I can’t be who you want…not yet at least. I lost someone, someone I loved, someone I fell in love with. It’s still a fresh wound, ” you scoff as your eyes begin to sting. “I can’t be who you want, or what you want.”

Rather than being hurt, or upset by your words Apollo smiles. “I loved someone too. I was in love with her too. It hurts too. But,” he adds in a soft voice as he takes a step towards you. “I’m not asking you to be my first love, nor do I want to be yours….we can be each other's last, whenever you’re ready, I’ll wait.”

Tears fall past your eyes and you can only whisper. “Okay.”

He grins, but you step back again. “But I can’t make you come with us. I don’t want you to. Your brother is here, your dad,” you insist. “They need you alive.”

“I can die here too,” he interjects. “It doesn’t matter, y/n, I would go to the edge of earth with you. I would’ve had you asked me before.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you can’t help your smile. But as nice as his words are to hear, the answer remains the same. “What if I want you to wait for me here?” You say and now get closer to him. “So you can greet me when I get home. So I can have something to look forward to. A light in the dark.”

“That,” he chuckles softly. “Is the cheesiest thing ever.”

You laugh and nod in agreement, stopping now as you’re only inches away. “Yeah, but will you?” You querie.

He holds your gaze and offers you a soft assuring smile. “I already did, what’s another month or so?”

Your grin widens and you immediately throws your arms around him. He immediately returns the embrace and nuzzles his head on your shoulder.

“Be careful, okay?” He adds.

“I will,” you assure him and linger in his embrace for a moment longer. “You take care too, promise?”

“I promise.”

You smile and pull away to cup his cheek, he offers you a soft smile before he raises his hands to unwrap his scarf around his neck to instead carefully wrap it around yours.

“There, nice and toasty.” He murmurs.

You giggle and hold his gaze for another moment before you pull away before you couldn’t bring yourself to leave, and turn to walk to your uncle Tommy’s house now. You want to look back, but you don’t, you can’t, it’d only make you feel bad for leaving, so you just feel his stare and walk away. You can’t even give it too much or else you’ll feel bad too, you just clear your mind and walk.

Once you make it to the street where your uncle lives you catch him walking out of his own house. He spots you right away, and is rightfully surprised by your presence.

“What are ya doin’?” He asks once you meet halfway in the middle of the street.

You shrug. “Makin’ Maria even more mad.” You glance at his house and nod slowly. “Goin’ with Ellie, and you. Leaving, one more time. And don’t you dare fight me, I’ll fight back.”

Your uncles lips pull into a soft smile and he scoffs as he nods. “Okay then,” he doesn’t question you further, he respects your choice without a fight.

You glance at his house again and sigh. “No pancakes in there, is there?” You ask with a bit of hope.

He shakes his head. “Nope.”

“Well It’s a good thing I ate beforehand then.” You turn and begin to walk to the house Ellie and your dad were staying at. “Wanna go fetch her?”

He nods. “Yep.”

As he goes inside you wait outside and think about your dad now. He said he was going to do right by her, you trust him, but is he really not going to see her off at the gate or even just outside the house? You said your goodbyes last night just in case, but what about her?

“Y/N?” You hear Ellie’s voice as the front door closes behind her.

You lift your head, and offer her a sweet smile and a small wave. “Hey.”

She stops by you and studies you for a moment in this soft shocked reaction before she probes. “Are you coming?”

You nod and begin to follow after your uncle as he leads the way. “Yep. I’ve been gone from home for two years, what’s another month or so?” You tell her. “Besides, I don’t want to miss another hell of an adventure.” You smirk at her, and she offers you a soft smile. “Is that okay?” You make sure regardless of the relief you read on her face.

“Yeah,” Ellie says without hesitation. “Yeah.”

You offer one more smile before you skip ahead to walk at your uncles side. “Stables and then can we get my rifle and pistol? I’ve felt like I’ve been missin’ something all day. It’s weird.”

He peers back and then glances at you to nod. “Of course. How did it go with your friends? Have fun?”

You nod and begin to get ahead a bit. “Yeah. We had fun, we ate some food, we drank, watched Pulp Fiction—which,” you say and look back at Ellie, “we need to watch by the way, when we get back. Sorry, have you watched it?”

Ellie shakes her head. “I never have, no.”

You smirk. “Great movie. You’ll like it, I’m sure of it.”

“Is it romantic? I prefer more action and scary movies.” She says.

You scoff and shake your head. “Nah, it’s not romantic. You’ll like it, trust me.”

“You make a play based off that too?” Ellie comments, making your uncle chuckle.

You shoot her smirking face a narrowed glare. “No,” you deadpan. “I didn't. I couldn’t bring myself to do that to that movie.”

“No but seriously,” your uncle interjects. “Once we come back you need to tell her to make a play, they’re all surprisingly good.”

“Of course they are,” you quip. “And! What is that supposed to mean?”

He smirks. “Just surprisin’ that’s all. Don’t know where you get that talent from.”

You hum and shoot him a pointed glare, and leave at that as you see the stables coming up ahead.

“I get my own horse right?” You ask and run up ahead.

“You’re sharin!” Your uncle exclaims.

“Beats walkin’!” You comment and slow down as you enter the pen. And rather than waiting for them to catch up you walk in the stables to start getting the horse ready.

Albeit, just as you walk in you stop right away as you catch your dad saddling a horse. You know what it means; he changed his mind about staying. So instead of diving into questions you just smile at him as you meet his gaze, and look back as your uncle and Ellie walk in.

“You come here to say goodbye or something?” Ellie asks in an upset tone.

“No,” your dad says. “I came here to steal one of these horses and go.”

He could’ve just asked.

“Well,” your uncle interjects. “I woulda gave you one.”

Your dad pats the horse's neck and looks at his brother. “I know,” he says. “Anyway.” He glances at Ellie. “That was 30 minutes ago, and I guess…” he pauses and walks to Ellie to continue. “You deserve a choice. I still think you’d be better off with Tommy—”

He gets cut off suddenly as Ellie shoves a blue bag of supplies so he can hold, and retorts. “Let’s go.”

Your dad glances at you before looking back at Ellie and adding, “okay.”

Silence follows so you move past them to saddle your own horse since three don’t fit on one. Your uncle helps so the progress moves on faster, but as he does you come to the realization that now he won’t be coming. The only reason he was going was because your dad wasn’t, but now that he changed his mind your uncle stays.

“I’ll make it back before the baby is born,” you break your silence.

Your uncle looks over at you and shoots you a smile. “You better.”

“I’ll make it back before my birthday too,” you add with a playful smirk. “So you better start plannin’, you’ve been let off the hook for 2 years now.”

“You come back and I’ll throw you the biggest party you’ve had,” he feeds to your demand.

You smile softly as you feel sadness in your heart knowing you have to leave him again. “I’ll hold you to it.”

“Wouldn’t expect it any other way.”

You giggle and finish up saddling up your horse to then meet up with Ellie and your dad outside the stable.

“General direction?” Your dad asks your uncle, but he looks to you instead.

“She knows it, she can lead the way.” Your uncle points out. “You remember the school, right Sunny?”

You nod as you caress your black horse's neck. “Yeah. I remember.”

Your dad nods in comprehension, and once he looks back at his brother in front of him they quickly move in and embrace each other. It’s short but sweet, and makes you smile with joy to see that they’re doing okay.

It’s not like it was before, but the love is there.

“There’s a place for you here,” your uncle tells your dad once they’re apart. “For Ellie and you.”

“Countin’ on it,” your dad says, letting your uncle now look at you again.

“You come back now, understand?”

You shoot him a smirk. “Have to. Can’t miss my own party.”

He smiles and lets his eyes linger on you to take in the sight of you one more time.

“Can I borrow that?” Your dad interjects.

Your uncle breaks his gaze away from you to glance at his rifle before meeting your dads gaze. “Yeah.” He accepts and then slides the gun off his shoulder.

“‘Cause Maria took mine, you know?” Your dad says.

“I already said yes, Joel,” he retorts as he hands your dad the gun. “Adios, big brother.”

Your dad offers him a nod before finally moving out. And once you collect your own rifle, pistol, and other supplies you may need, you climb on your horse and head on out. One more time.

But, this time with not such a heavy heart, or a tormented mind.

——

*LATER*

The sound of the gunshot rang against the secluded grass field, and the sound of the bullet breaking a tree trunk echoes out, making you snicker at Ellie’s failure to shoot the close target.

She chooses to ignore you though and shoots again, but once again misses and hits a small pile of snow near the target. And this time you smile at the ground as you shift your position.

She does it a third time, but no luck, so she lets out an annoyed sigh that lets your dad comment. “Wide right.”

Ellie shakes her head in denial.

“You’re flinchin’,” you comment, and unfold your arms off your chest.

“The targets too small,” she rebuttals you and your dad.

“I made it bigger than I should’ve,” your dad mentions and points to the gun. “Eject the cartridge.”

Ellie does so and the bullet falls to the ground first before she argues back. “And I’m not flinching.”

You and your dad share a teasing look before you hum. “Mm-hmm.”

“The rifle just sucks,” Ellie keeps mumbling.

You roll your eyes, and your dad steps forward. “Okay, give It.”

Ellie hands the rifle to your dad with a sigh and another comment. “It doesn’t aim right.”

You crouch down beside your dad as he switches spots with Ellie, and hum again with a little playful smirk on your lips. “Mm-hmm.”

“You’ll see.”

“A deep breath in,” your dad says as he gets the gun ready. “Slow breath out. Squeeze the trigger like you love it.”

“Mm,” Ellie hums as she looks through the binoculars.

“Gentle,” he continues and lowers his head, and closes one eye to look better through the scope. “Steady…nice and slow.”

“You’re gonna shoot this thing or get it pregnant?” Ellie retorts, making you snicker as your dad looks up at her with a disapproving look.

“It isn’t gonna work. It doesn’t aim right,” Ellie continues, so your dad then hits the trigger gently and the bullet hits the target straight on, causing him to lower the gun and look up at her all cocky.

“You dick,” Ellie quips with a grin.

Your dad shrugs smugly, causing you to snicker at Ellie.

“2 out 2?” You suggest smugly.

Your dad smirks and happily hands you the rifle, making Ellie shake her head in disapproval.

“Watch carefully, kid,” you comment as you scoot further in the middle.

“Don’t get the gun pregnant,” she quips.

“Haha, funny,” you mumble and eject the cartridge as you close one eye and aim at the target. “Now…” you trail as you hit the trigger, and the bullet whizzes out and hits the target inches away from where your dad hit it.

“See,” you taunt Ellie and lift your head. “Can I get a bump?” You offer her your fist.

Ellie scoffs lightheartedly and pushes your fist away. “No,” she grumbles, so your dad gently taps your fist with his.

“You guys suck,” Ellie scoffs and turns around to head back to the horses.

You snicker and push yourself to your given height, and hand the rifle back to your dad to quickly catch up to Ellie. “You just need patience,” you assure her and look around the fields. “You’ll get the hang of it.”

Ellie glances at you and then looks back at your dad following at your tail. “Did it take you time?”

You sigh deeply. “Not much, but it’s not because I had much of a choice, I was forced to adapt, forced to learn everything quickly to survive. It’s not super easy for you, but you have it easier, you’re used to all this shit since you were born in it, I wasn’t.”

“So you’re saying I can be better,” Ellie comments.

You glance at her and scoff as you nudge her to the side. “Sure, practice and then we’ll see.”

Ellie smirks and nods in comprehension. Once you reach your horses you continue on ahead down your path, filling the day with silence at times and conversations that come up at other times. Due to the horses it was faster to get around the land, it was also less stressful since they can pick up sounds neither you might hear.

Luckily though they didn’t catch anything bad, no infected or people, the path was clear and the day was easy, making for a calm night in the spot you settled down at.

“Now that we have time,” you interject and grab your backpack from behind you to plop it down in front of you. “I have a Christmas gift for you Ellie.”

“What? Really?” Ellie queries curiously.

You hum and open your backpack. Since what you have for her is placed on top you look over at her sitting to the side of the campfire and add on. “I gave my dad his Christmas gift early, so might as well give yours early too.” You shoot her a smile, and she glances at your dad with slight shock before getting up from her seat to sit next to you.

“Now keep in mind,” you continue and now begin to pull out her gift. “I didn’t have time to go into town to actually shop well, but I do hope you like it.” You fully pull out her gift and hand it to her. “And it’s not wrapped either so sorry.”

Ellie’s smile turns timid as she takes the brown leather holster from you, but she soon grins once she figures out what it is exactly. “No way!” She exclaims and stands up to hook it around her hip. “A thigh holster!”

“Now you don’t have to be scared about shooting off your ass,” your dad comments.

You giggle and nod in agreement as you watch Ellie now tie the last strap above her knee. “Cool,” she mumbles and tucks her pistol in the holster before quickly sliding it out and pointing at the empty space between your dad and you—“Fast move,” she mutters to herself, and then spins the gun around her finger to try and insert it back in the holster all swiftly, but the gun hits the ground instead.

“Jesus, Ellie,” your dad snaps.

Ellie stifles her laugh so as to not piss your dad off and picks up her gun to put it back. However she then finds the tip hits against something inside so she pulls out the gun and digs her fingers inside, and pulls out a leather necklace with a small piece of wood carved into a neat circle with a butterfly burned onto it. On each side of the necklace, over the wood are small wooden beads.

“Is this…” she pauses and her smile softens as well as her eyes. “Is it for me too?”

You nod. “Yeah. The necklace is adjustable so you can have it where it feels comfortable.”

Ellie grins softly and turns the small wooden pendant and smiles wider.

“It has my name on it—did you do this?” She asks.

You scoff and shake your head. “Nah, my friend did. I can’t do that.”

Ellie looks back at the necklace and shifts her eyes to the other thing around it, something small, thin, plastic and shaped like a dull triangle. “What is this?”

You glance over at your dad and let him answer. “A…guitar pick. Uh…I figure that once we go back to Jackson you’ll need a hobby so you won’t get bored, so I thought maybe you’d like to learn how to play a guitar.”

You smile wider and look back to Ellie, seeing her eyes only twinkle brighter. “You play?” She probes.

He nods. “Haven’t played in some time, but yeah, I do. I taught y/n a bit. I can teach you if you’d like.”

Ellie nods quickly. “Yeah, that’d be cool. I’d like that. Thank you, the both of you. I’m sorry I don’t have a gift for you, y/n.”

You shake your head and assure her. “Don’t worry about it. You can make it up for my birthday. My uncle Tommy is throwing me a party.” You share with a sweet smile.

“Oh is he now?” Your dad probes.

You glance at him and nod. “Yep. You guys are invited by the way.”

“I’ll think about it,” your dad teases you, making you scoff and roll your eyes.

“By the way,” Ellie interjects as she ties the necklace around her neck. “Why does Tommy call you Sunny? Is it like a middle name or something?”

“A nickname,” you tell her. “But I don’t know why exactly he does, he just does. I’ve never asked.” You shrug.

“He says it because,” your dad cuts in, causing Ellie and you to look over at him. “Back when y/n was a little girl she always had a Sunny disposition, she was always smilin’. As a little baby she was easy to make laugh too, so one time this song by some 70s band with the same name began to play, and he got it from there.”

Ellie smiles. “Sweet,” she comments, whilst you grin and miss your uncle all over again.

At least this time it’s not as bad as before though, because at least now you do have your father, and are closer to Ellie, so they make it all easier now. They make the long days of riding that follow a lot easier, and even make those days seem quicker. Especially because Ellie has a lot of questions regarding the time before.

Like now for example, as you’re riding on horseback through the woods she breaks the peaceful silence with a question. “So the way they ran stuff in Jackson, was how things used to be?”

“No,” your dad answers this question. “The country was too big for that. Back then there were basically two main ways of lookin’ at things. Some people wanted to own everything.”

“Mm-hmm,” Ellie hums in comprehension, and your dad continues.

“And some people didn’t want anyone to own anything at all.”

“Which one were you?” Ellie asks.

“Neither,” he says. “I just did my job.”

“Which was…” Ellie trails off as she thinks, and glances at you since you had told her once before. “Building?” She asks.

“That’s right,” he answers. “Houses, stores, that kinda thing. We were called “contractors”.”

“The contractor,” Ellie says in a deep voice, making you grin down at your handle—“that’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah,” your dad adds on. “We were cool. Everybody loved contractors.”

Really? Hm.

“Nice,” Ellie says and proceeds to rest her head on his back.

You try to think if he’s right, but you were too young before to know otherwise, and your uncle Tommy never said anything against it so your dad must be right.

“This has been ‘Construction corner with Joel Miller’,” you quote in a deep voice.

Ellie and your dad look over at you, and you laugh.

“It’s what Tess used to say.” You let Ellie know, and remind your dad.

Ellie smiles and then adds her own bit. “The Contractor!” She mocks in a deep voice.

You smirk. “The Contractor!” You mock as well. “Joel the Contractor.”

Ellie laughs and repeats what you said. “Joel the Contractor.”

Where is Tess? You may have not known her long, she might’ve scared you a bit before, but she was nice and cool. You’d ask, but you didn’t want to sour the mood, so you went on going without knowing.

Eventually the day turns to night and so as to not exhaust yourselves you camp for the night; this time in a place deeper in the woods.

“Okay,” you add as you stare up at the starry sky. “So if you could name 3 songs to describe yourself, what would it be?”

Ellie hums, and you glance over at your dad that has his back turned to Ellie and you.

“I wouldn’t know,” she mutters.

“Okay,” you nod. “Then to describe each other.”

You have three perfect songs for Ellie.

Ellie goes silent for a second before interjecting loudly in defeat. “Fuck, I don’t know!”

You giggle, and unexpectedly your dad interjects when he’s supposed to be sleeping.

“Three? For you, y/n, Uptown Girl by Billy Joel, Sunny, and,” he pauses and begins to laugh.

“What?” You probe and flip around to face his back. “What other song?”

“That song you sang for my birthday 20 years ago, by that one rapper named after two quarters.”

“Oh god,” you grumble and flip back around to face the sky. “I thought you forgot that! That’s so embarrassing!”

“Wait?! What?!” Ellie exclaims and flips around to face you and your dad. “What song is it?”

“I don’t know,” your dad says. “Tell y/n to sing it for you.”

“Daddy,” you warn. “Don’t.”

“What?” He chuckles. “It was cute, I told ya it was. She,” he continues and looks over his shoulder. “She dressed up as me that day; she wore one of my shirts, put on this fake mustache, and sang this rap song as one of my birthday gifts. It was great, one of my favorite gifts by far.”

You slap your hands on your face to hide your embarrassment.

“Really?” Ellie probes with a snicker. “That’s nice. Do you remember the words, y/n? I’d love to hear them since you know, I’m not that well up to date about the world before.”

Guilt tripping you? Not nice.

You don’t fall for it, you shake your head. “No!” You deny her, and pull your hands off your face to pull your sheet over your face as you drag yourself further in your sleeping bag. “This is over goodnight!”

“Come on!” Ellie presses you, and you can practically feel her grin. “Just one verse!”

You ignore them and pretend to be asleep. They both then try to press you, but you stay defiant and don’t give in. They eventually drop it after relentless teasing, so the night passes, a day does too and so on until finally that day comes when you’re finally close to your destination.

“Here we were,” you say as you bring your horse, and the other two to a stop in front of the intersection. “We’re here.”

“Well,” your dad interjects. “How ‘bout that? Made it in five days.”

“Easy days,” Ellie says, and you keep on moving now towards the city. “I don’t know what Tommy was so afraid of.”

“Still time to find out.”

“Still time to find out,” Ellie mocks your dad using a deep voice.

You glance over at her and scoff in amusement, while your dad shoots her a hard pointed stare.

“The contractorrrr,” Ellie whispers creepily.

You laugh and play along too. “Joel the Contractor.”

Ellie lets out a chuckle and repeats what you said. “Joel the contractorrr.”

You both share a laugh that’s quickly cut off by your dad.

“Quiet, the both of you, we’re going to enter the city now we don't know what lies ahead.”

You stifle your teasing smile and assure them. “Nothin’, the city isn’t wiped out from infected, but it’s not bad considering it’s where the firefly’s come to. Same goes for stragglers and groups. We’ll be on the clear if we head directly to campus.”

“And that’s where they’ll be?” Ellie asks with no laugh or smile now.

When you steal her a glance you see slight fear and worry, so you do your best to come off confident. “It's where they stay,” you assure her. “They’ll be there.”

Hopefully….

A/N- Why can’t the Miller’s just eat pancakes and be happy? Anyway don’t forget that gesture of reader laying her head on Joel’s chest, it’s gonna come back and bite everyone in the ass iykyk

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @traceylader @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @punisherinthealps @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl

386 notes · View notes