#but also i feel like our bodies only belong to us for so long. we pass on and what we leave behind goes back into the world | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ohwhataniight · 2 days

Text

"Oh what a night" – The case of the BBC Sherlock transmasc aesthetics: Relating to problematic masculinities in search for identity

So I sat down and rewrote this silly essay I wrote one day after returning from my trip to the US. Flaneurism at its best (or at its worst, idk). Please bear with me but definitely send in your feedback if you read and feel like it, it means the world to me and it will definitely help me unpack some of my problematicness! Thank you <3

I take a deep drag of my American Spirit cigarette whilst the tail ofmy long black coat swishes behind me dramatically. Dusk-time Boston is lit up. The skyscrapers towering over my tiny figure are glittering against the dark through the blurry lens of my camera phone.

I am consciously imitating the aesthetic of the modern but also always Victorian BBC Sherlock, in the scene following John and Mary’s wedding, in which the world’s only consulting detective surrenders to his noble, quiet pining for his not-gay best friend.

What even is masculinity, anyway? What would I like it to be?

The creators of the series, Gatiss and Moffat, spent 10 years religiously denying the possibility of a romantic or sexual relationship between the two protagonists, while driving the hordes of fans into delirium every time that Sherlock (Benedict Cumberbatch) and John (Martin Freeman) made love with their eyes or confessed their devotion to one another. Despite the queerbaiting, the homophobia and the sexism in the Moftis series, despite the 4th season fiasco, despite the actors denying the possibility of their characters ever running together into the sunset, Sherlock himself never denied being queer. Gay, asexual, demisexual, the interpretations are many, a breath of representation in the relative democracy of fandom. And as if that wasn’t enough, Sherlock and John end up canonically raising John’s daughter together at their 221B Baker Street apartment.

The modernized urban Victorian aesthetic, the provocatively coded dialogues, the deep homosociality, and the simple, pure bitterness towards the creators, renders the community of Johnlock fans more alive than ever almost 10 years after the series’ finale. In some hidden, bright corners of the internet, like fanfiction.net and archiveofourown.com, women and queers publish analyses and fanfiction in which they explore the endless galaxy of human genders, sexualities, and forms of kinship, writing the insufferably British male characters as women, non-binary, FTM, Alpha and Omega, pregnant, high, and always together - two human animals exploring bodies and experiences that belong to us in the shelter of Baker Street, with their landlady, Mrs. Hudson, being their most ardent shipper. We write entire full-length novels for free, with our sole motive being the exploration, the practice in writing, and the communication with other queers, other women, other people who feel like us and live in different sides of the earth which, despite Sherlock not remembering, keeps on orbiting the sun with the certainty born by a Johnlocker for their OTP being endgame.

Back to Boston now, which looks like Glasgow on steroids, with its red brick buildings and the glass towers that pierce the skies - it doesn’t feel as cozy and familiar to me as European cities, but it is big enough to swallow and hide me, safely, away from the suffocating and often murderous, homotransphobic gaze of my motherland, Greece. Boston feels big enough to make me feel free, invisible, and at the same time more visible than ever.

Here’s how I made it happen: in the name of an egotistical but seductive flaneurism, in the idea that here I can be non-binary and roaming the streets while smoking without thinking that, at any given moment, I might be spotted by the people from whom I’m hiding both facts, I end up romanticizing a stroll on stolen land, as well as the tar in my lungs. I feel the need to wander around, heavily perfumed, with a hanful of product in my hair, dressed androgynously in a way that my mother only accepts because she doesn’t understand the meaning of it, smoking as the soundtrack of Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons’ December 1963 (Oh What a Night) blasts through my old headphones. As a queer person living in Greece, I never felt that the streets belonged to me. I’ve always felt like a pariah looking for somewhere to belong to, and the irony of going after that feeling in America as a white European tourist brings a certain sourness to my mouth. Is that how Columbus felt? Was he a sissy who didn’t feel accepted by his mum in their suffocating mediterranean society? No, fuck that thought. Fuck that circle, fuck everything I've been taught by the writers of history. I decide to leave these streets to their people, without it meaning that I’ve suddenly found the courage to reclaim my own back in motherland.

Exhaustion, flight, cowardice? Survival.

Later I will learn that the American Spirits with the Native American on their turquoise box are anything but native-owned. What’s certain is that, in this trip, I found solace while smoking stolen land.

What does that make me? A citizen of the world?

After all, in the entire trip, I pretend I’m Sherlock, the whitest man to ever white man. It’s not as if I don’t have my own personality - at least I hope that I do. It is that through relating (to fictional characters, actors, role models who remind me of an aesthetic I had to build from scratch for my trans self, with the help of other queer people who created fanart or fanfiction, moulding new arhetypes) I find a vehicle for the exploration of my existence more easily, I see my reflection (or the one I’d like to have) in the mirror. In the fandom nobody tells you how to imagine your favourite characters and how not to. Nobody tells you how to write yourself, and nobody blames you for doing it. You create with self-indulgence, and you’re applauded for it. And that saved my life.

For years I related to a genderfluid Tonks, a trans Remus Lupin, a fanon Jean Prouvaire from Les Mis. Through all those experimentations and games, the changing of clothes in the dark, the opening and closing of the closet door, I found a name for myself: Sam. And Sam, like every other trans masculinity with the name Sam, Skye, Noah, and Eliott, contains multitudes.

For the timebeing, my persona of choice is that of Sherlock, perhaps the most insufferable (and one of the most privileged) characters in the history of British TV (which says a lot). “What do you have in common with that emotionally constipated man?” you ask me because you know that my own sentiments are constantly dancing naked before me. I wonder why that is. Indeed, what do I have in common with that guy and end up projecting so much on him? Me, who hesitates to even cancel a doctor’s appointment in pursuit of constant politeness and people-pleasing (AFAB, you see).

When Sherlock’s landlady, Mrs. Hudson, disapproves of his manners and threatens him with a tete-a-tete with his mother, Sherlock gives her his blessing, saying: “You can if you like, she understands very little”.

Sherlock and his turbulent relationship to his parents. Sherlock who always observes everything while staying outside, because he doesn’t know how to get in. Sherlock, always so different that he’s used to people laughing at him, gaping at him with awe, or wanting to punch him in the face. Sherlock who always attracts attention simply because he functions the way he functions, constantly failing to be a normal human being. Neurodivergent Sherlock, camp Sherlock, forgotten-in-another-era, flaneur Sherlock, who even in the Gatiss series (especially in the Gatiss series) is desperate to love, but he never manages to get it right. And finally, Sherlock the logical, the detached, the cynic: masculine elements that I never managed - and was never allowed to - acquire, and which I desperately, problematically craved, because in society and inside me they have been coded as masc.

I am the opposite Sherlock, and that makes me even more of a Sherlock, I decide, and if that helps me sleep at night, then so be it, for now.

As Hil Malatino writes in the chapter Fall Out Boy is Trans Culture of his essay Surviving Trans Antagonism: “The boy at the center of a [Fall Out Boy track, brackets mine] is [...] being eminently braggadocious and narcissistic [...]. He’s stationed directly at the center of a completely solipsistic universe. No matter how insufferable this kind of guy is in reality, I would have killed for a fraction of his swaggering self-confidence as a kid” (Malatino 2020, 17).

What even is masculinity, anyway? What would I like it to be?

“Do I look like Sherlock?” I ask you, hopeful and doe-eyed as I prance around in my black suit inside the house while packing for the trip. “Sherlock is gender, you know.”

“Do you really want to know how I see your gender? 100% honest-to-God?” you ask mischievously.

“Yes, I do,” I’m hanging from your lips.

“You are, deep inside your soul, in this tartan robe of yours, Bananas in Pyjamas.”

I think about it. Not exactly Sherlock. I smile though. I see my gender in your words. Goofy, boyish, vintage, loud, sleepy, badly dressed: Me. Headcanon accepted.

If headcanon and fanon - that is, reclaimed - Holmes played by (problematic) Cumberbatch teaches me how to be a boy or a man, then so be it, because I hope that my performance will be filtered, as much as possible, through my “girlish” (though still white) sensibilities. That, and the fact that there is a child inside me who never got to live as an openly, unashamedly neurodivergent, inquisitive little boy. Because there is a masculine side inside me that I must hide every day when I go to work. So I put together a playlist, I put on my scruffy headphones, and I tar my lungs, just a little more, a little longer until I’m able to finally leave my country for good and feel ready to love myself as I am. My coat swishes behind me as I dance alone on the street, invisible among the crowd, yet feeling more visible than ever before.

CITATIONS: Malatino, H. (2020). Trans care, University of Minnesota Press. https://doi.org/10.5749/j.ctv17mrv14

17 notes · View notes

roosterforme · 10 days

Text

The Younger Kind Part 59 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: With your wedding on the horizon, it wasn't the best time for you to question your place with Bradley. But he's always patient, and Noah is perfect, and it doesn't take you long to realize that your husband-to-be is always going to see you in a different way than you see yourself.

Warnings: pregnancy topics, swearing, blowjob smut, angst, fluff, and age gap (18+)

Length: 4700 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.

Now that you were looking at your wedding dress all spread out on the bed, you were afraid to try it on. It looked too perfect. Pristine and white. It was exactly how you imagined it would be when Natasha convinced you to order it, and it looked like it would fit like a glove over your belly which was starting to grow. But right now, you were feeling so overwhelmed.

With your reduced work hours, you were home alone until Bradley and Noah got back in another hour or so. You had the whole place to yourself to do as you pleased. Plenty of time to try this thing on and send some photos to Natasha for her opinion. Then you could unwind with a glass of juice and a nice shower. But today was starting to feel like one of those days where Bradley's perfect bungalow on the perfect street in Coronado wasn't really where you belonged.

When you felt like you were in control of things, this was your castle. You were Bradley's Princess. You were Noah's Mommy. But today you felt like a fraud. Part of you was missing your little rental house where you could feel small and insignificant. Where you only had to take care of yourself. Were you really going to marry a man over a decade older than you? Were you really capable of raising not just Noah but a baby as well?

Mortification and embarrassment flooded your body as the dress mocked you from its place on the bed. You would never be deserving of anything as perfect as this soft fabric. Or this perfect life. Why did Bradley even want you?

"Princess?"

You didn't hear him come in, but now you heard his heavy footfalls as his boots met the hallway floor. He was headed for the bedroom, and you were in tears, staring at the dress. You managed to throw the bedding and pillows on top of it as Bradley entered the room.

"There you are. I was calling your name," he murmured, wrapping his arms around you from behind and letting his hands rest on your belly.

His touch was everything you always wanted, and he hadn't seen your tears yet. You tried to pull it together as you whispered, "Actually, you were calling my nickname."

"Same thing," he whispered, his nose pressed to your neck.

"You're home early," you said, wiping your eyes. "Did you pick Noah up?"

"Not yet," he said, trying to spin you around to face him. "I thought I'd pick you up first and see if you wanted to go out to dinner after we get him. And maybe we can hit the mall so you can help me choose something to wear for that minor, little occasion that's just around the corner also known as our wedding."

You tried to fight against his grasp on your shoulders, but he spun you easily in place. You'd been too slow to remove all traces of your tears and worry, and his face fell when he looked at you. "Sorry," you whispered. "I'm just having a weird day."

"What's wrong?" he demanded softly, his grip on your hips tightening as his eyes dipped down to your belly.

"We're fine," you whispered, wishing you could convince him that was true.

"Something's bothering you," he said, his brown eyes meeting yours. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No." Then you started crying as he collected you against his rough flight suit. "You didn't do anything wrong. I don't even know what's wrong! I just don't belong here."

You felt his body go rigid as he held you impossibly tighter. This time he did use your actual first name, and you had to force yourself to meet his eyes. He looked concerned as he asked, "You don't think you belong here? With me? I love you."

But you just shook as tears streamed down your face. You didn't know how to say what you were feeling, so you just started talking through your sobs. "It's perfect though. You know that, right?" you asked, gasping for air as he looked at you in silence. "Your house and your son, and all of it. Everything here is perfect, Bradley. And the wedding dress arrived," you sobbed, gesturing to where there was some white fabric peeking out from the bedding. "And even it's perfect, and I just feel like a fraud. Like I'm inserting myself where I don't even belong. And I don't know how to be a mom."

You had your face buried against his chest, and he let you cry. He didn't say a word, and you weren't sure if that was better or worse right now. He just rubbed his hands in slow circles along your back until you were able to swallow and take some deep breaths. Then he guided you back so you were sitting on the edge of the bed next to the messy bedding, and he knelt down in front of you. His big hand came up to your cheek, and he swiped away some of your tears as he spoke.

"If anything here seems perfect, I can assure you it's because you're here now. It feels perfect to me, too, but it didn't always."

You swallowed hard, letting him trace your bottom lip with his thumb as you whispered, "It didn't?"

Bradley shook his head, his brown eyes wide and sincere. "No. It never felt like this before I met you. You showed up and made everything better until it was perfect. It happened slowly, but I could feel something shift right from the start. Each day got better after Noah fell in love with having you here. And after I'd known you for just a few weeks, I never wanted you to leave."

"After just a few weeks?" you asked as his hands and voice soothed you.

"Yeah," he replied softly. "I knew it. I'm sorry you had to put up with so much shit before we got to the point where it felt perfect, but I knew I wanted you with us. And then I needed you with us. And now I need you to understand that you belong here as much as Noah and I do."

"And Skittles."

The pup popped out of her bed and ran over as soon as you said her name, but Bradley kept his eyes on your face. "Always Skittles. And I hate to break it to you, Princess, but you already are a mom. So stop lying and saying you don't know how to be one. You are Noah's mom, and he's happier than I've ever seen him."

You closed your eyes and let all of his words fade into you. "But the baby will be different," you whispered even as you understood that you did know what to do. You handled kids and babies all day long at work, and you did it with care even though they weren't your own. And you did love Noah like he was yours. "But I think I can do it."

When you slipped off the bed and into Bradley's arms, he cupped your face in those hands and examined you closely. "You're not gonna be doing anything alone, Princess. I'm right here."

You nodded and breathed him in, and you already felt better knowing that this house and Bradley and Noah weren't as perfect unless you were here with them. "Can we go pick Noah up and just come back here for the night? I think I feel better, but I just want to relax."

"Anything you want," Bradley promised, and you let your arms go around his neck so he could help you to your feet. "We can come right back here, where everything feels perfect thanks to you."

------------------------

Bradley wasn't sure exactly what upset you so much earlier, but after you took a shower and ate dinner, he sent you and Noah to the couch to watch Mickey Mouse cartoons. When you paused in the doorway, you reached for him, and he went right to you with a soft kiss. You were wearing his sweatpants and an old tee shirt, and you belonged here. He didn't know how else to make you see that. But you seemed to understand it deep down where it mattered.

"I feel better," you whispered as he kissed your cheek. "My hormones are all over the place, and I'm always tired, but I do feel better. Thank you for being patient."

He was about to tell you that you didn't have to thank him for that when Noah called out. "Mommy? Are you coming?"

A beautiful smile found your lips as Bradley said, "You belong here."

You nodded and turned toward the living room, leaving him in the kitchen to clean up. But he didn't want to have it any other way. He promised you he'd take care of everything around here, and that included wedding planning and decorating for Christmas. One problem was the fact that he barely had any decorations, because he barely had time to do anything before you. The other problem was that you were clearly worn out this week after Disneyland, but he needed your input for the rest of the planning.

After loading the dishwasher, Bradley paused and decided to make you some decaffeinated coffee in his Aviators Look Down on Others mug with an extra dollop of French vanilla creamer. He let it cool on the counter for a few minutes while he wiped down the table, and then he took a sip for himself before heading into the living room. Noah was curled up on your lap, and your fingers were gliding gently in his hair as the two of you watched your show together.

"This is where you belong," he whispered, and you turned to look at him.

"I know," you said with a soft smile.

Bradley snuggled in carefully next to you and handed you the mug, and soon Noah started to fall asleep. When your head came to rest on his shoulder, Bradley said, "How do you feel about me asking Amelia if she can babysit Noah on Saturday so I can take you on a date?"

"A date?" you asked softly.

"Mmmm," he hummed. "Maybe go old school and do dinner and a movie. Something other than pizza and an animated classic. Actually leave the house and stay out past eight o'clock."

You laughed softly as Bradley pushed Noah's soft curls back from his forehead. "You do like to go old school, Daddy."

He rolled his eyes but smiled. "So is that a yes?"

"That's a hell yes," you replied. "A date with my hot baby dad sounds nice. And thanks for letting me have a freak out earlier." You looked up at him with his mug in your hands and his son sprawled halfway across your lap. "I love you, too. And I'm totally ready to get married."

He let your words settle in his mind. There was so much to do. The extra bedroom still needed some work if it was to become the nursery. There were still a few things to finalize for the wedding. But he wanted to do all of it, and that included enjoying every moment with you.

"Well that's good, because I'm totally ready to get married to you, Baby." He kissed your forehead and said, "I'll carry Noah to bed, and then I'll text Amelia and Penny."

When he stood with Noah curled up against his chest, you got to your feet as well, and Bradley's heart leapt as you told him, "I think I feel like trying on my wedding dress now."

"Yeah? You need any help with that?"

You shook your head and stretched, and the soft swell of all your curves was accentuated by your bump. You kissed him softly like he wasn't completely entranced by you. Like he wasn't aching to tuck Noah in and follow you to the bedroom.

"I think I'll keep it a surprise. You can see it on me in a few weeks," you said with a little smirk as he started following you toward the bedrooms.

Every mention of the wedding left him throbbing for you. When you started to close the bedroom door behind you, Bradley said, "As soon as you're undressed again and in bed, you let me know, and I'll be right in."

"Yes, Daddy."

----------------------------------

As Bradley pulled the Bronco out of the driveway, you waved to Noah and Amelia on the porch. Bradley let you pick the spot for dinner, but he said he was in charge of the movie. Then he mentioned something special that he wanted to get on the way there.

"What's the special surprise?" you asked several times as he drove. "You're just teasing me at this point."

He gave you side eye and reached for your hand. "Thought you liked that sort of thing."

You had to bite your lip to keep from laughing and encouraging him. "I like it when you do it in bed a lot more."

He hummed like he was mulling over your words. "Then consider this some quality foreplay: you'll learn what the special surprise is when we get there, and not a moment before."

You moaned like you were in pleasure, and you felt the Bronco jerk a little to the right as Bradley's hand tightened around your fingers. You burst out laughing and looked over at him. "I love it when you talk Daddy to me. Oops, I mean talk dirty."

"You keep moaning like that, and I'll drive off the damn road," he muttered, checking the mirrors and changing lanes.

When he turned right and drove a block, you saw Sweet Dreams Bakery. "Oh, wait," you said, pointing out the window. "That's where you got the princess crown donuts!"

Bradley pulled past and found a spot where he could parallel park. "Yeah, and we can stop later after we buy the special items."

"Oh, we're shopping now?" you asked, happy you brought your credit card along to keep teasing him.

"We are," he confirmed, and when he helped you down from the Bronco, you realized he parked right outside a jewelry store. He led you inside and said, "Shopping for our wedding bands."

You wrapped your arms around his waist, and bounced up and down a bit. You had been making yourself giddy over the idea of Bradley wearing a ring. He was literally letting you stake your claim with something visible, and if your moan in the Bronco was intended to wind him up, the one that just escaped you was one hundred percent authentic.

"Daddy."

His dark eyes were locked onto your lips as he whispered, "Behave."

A sales clerk with a bright smile was headed your way, and Bradley squeezed your hip in warning when she said, "Hi, Mr. Bradshaw."

You looked at Bradley with raised brows. How many times had he been here that they remembered him. "Are you here to pickup your special order?"

"Special order?" you asked as Bradley's cheeks grew pink.

"Uh, we're here to pick out weddings bands," he said, avoiding your eyes.

"Perfect," said the sales clerk, and she was immediately leading the way over to a display case. You were ready to dig your feet in and demand more information about Bradley's special order and why they knew him by name here, but he took you by the hand and tugged you gently along.

You pressed your lips together to keep quiet as you remembered that Casey lived in this neighborhood; you were really starting to dislike the idea of Bradley hanging around here when your eyes settled on a tray of men's wedding rings. "Oh," you said softly.

Bradley kissed your temple and whispered, "Tell me which ones you want me to try on for you, Princess."

You pointed to the plain band right in the middle, and you knew before he even put it on that it was going to be perfect. He picked it up with his right hand and slid it onto his left ring finger. It was a little thicker than a traditional band, and once he had it on, he held his hand up for your inspection.

"It's perfect," you told him, your voice a little breathless.

"You want me to try on any others?" he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

You kissed the edge of his mustache, letting your body clench at the rough feel of it. "No."

"You sure?" he whispered.

"Yes."

He removed the ring and handed it to the woman who worked there. "This one," he told her while he kept his eyes on you. "It's perfect."

When it was your turn to try some on, Bradley stood behind you with his chin resting on your shoulder. You started to reach for the plain bands that would match with your enormous diamond ring, but Bradley said, "What about one like that? With the little diamonds that go all the way around?"

It was gorgeous. You should have known he'd point out something spectacular looking when you considered how pretty your engagement ring was. "Bradley, it probably costs ten times more than the plain one. Besides, the plain one kind of looks like yours."

When you glanced at him over your shoulder, you were met with those Bradshaw brown eyes that you couldn't seem to say no to. "Humor me?"

So you slid it on with a soft sigh, because it was incredible. "I do like it," you told him, trying to take it off again, but he stopped you with both of his hands.

"Then we should get it."

You tore your gaze away from him and asked the woman, "What's the price difference?"

"Please don't tell her that." You turned back to Bradley to glare at him, but of course you didn't get an answer about the price. He had the upper hand in this store. "If the price didn't matter, would you want this one?" he asked you, tapping the ring where it was still sitting on your finger.

"Maybe," you whispered. "But the plain one is just as-"

"You're not plain. You're a Princess."

The kiss you gave him was a little indecent, but you didn't really care. He slid the ring from your finger as you tasted his mouth, and you assumed he gave it to the saleswoman so he could buy it for you. You just didn't want to let go of him as his big hands moved down your sides to your belly, and then he broke the kids.

"I would get you anything you want," he whispered, his lips ghosting along yours. "Same goes for both of my kids. Now let's get dinner before we miss the movie."

You tried to pay with your credit card, but this time he shook his head and told you to put it away. The woman was discreet when she ran his card, and then she handed Bradley a bag way bigger than was necessary for two, small rings.

"Is there something for me in the bag besides the wedding band?" you asked, trying to grab it when he led you back outside.

"Maybe," he muttered. "How about you stop asking about it, and I'll buy you some donuts."

Your stomach growled pleasantly at the thought. "Great idea. We can have dessert before dinner and the movie."

Bradley smirked. "And then after the movie, we can have another round of dessert."

-------------------------------

Bradley couldn't get enough of watching you eat your dinner with your hand occasionally pressed to your belly as you chatted away. He wasn't too concerned about the way you'd been overwhelmed to the point of tears a few days ago. You were tired and pregnant and working and busy being a Mom to Noah. Your hormones were changing again after the progesterone shots ended, and he knew it was a lot. Honestly, it was a lot for him to process, too.

But tonight you looked like you always did. Young and perfect and vibrant as you told him a story about something that happened at work. You ate and ate, picking up another piece of garlic bread after you told him you were getting full.

"If you're still hungry, we can always skip the movie," he mused, and you paused as you ran the last bit of bread through the sauce on your plate.

"Oh my goodness," you said, eyes wide. "I didn't know I was basically inhaling my food."

He just shrugged as he said, "Well, you are gaining weight."

A smile found your lips, and then they were twitching before you started laughing. "Wow, Bradley. You got all the smooth lines. It's a wonder none of your app dates were successful."

He hooked your feet with his under the table as you tried to stop laughing. "That was entirely your fault. It had nothing to do with my lines, because I wasn't trying very hard. And you're supposed to be gaining weight."

You were still grinning as you said, "Once again, coming in hot with the seduction."

You were still teasing him when he signed the credit card receipt and stood. He helped you to your feet and said, "Maybe I was just saving all my worst lines to use on you. Make sure you really love me. You ever think of that, Princess?"

"It worked," you told him. "I actually do love you. And I especially can't wait for you to start wearing your wedding band." You gasped as he held the restaurant door open for you. "What are we going to do for music for the wedding? We don't have a wedding band."

"Oh," he said with a laugh. "I made a playlist."

"You made a playlist?"

"Yeah, you wanna hear it while I drive to the movie theater?"

He handed you his phone and let you start up the playlist. The first song was okay. So was the second one. You skipped along a few more songs, and then you looked at him while he drove and said, "It's all your old people music."

"Damn. Who's being rude now?" he laughed.

"It's just that it's all from the '80s!"

"So am I."

"Bradley! Be so serious!"

"What? You know how old I am."

"I'm adding some things to the playlist, and if I find the Electric Slide in here, I'm deleting it."

Bradley ran his palm across his mouth and said, "There's my little brat."

You sat up straighter in your seat, clearly proud of yourself as you tapped away on his phone screen. It was so hard to surprise you; the way you reasoned through things was exquisite. He should have known you'd call him out on the extra item from the jewelry store, and now you were glancing out the window as he pulled past the movie theater.

"Throwback '80s night?" you said, reading the marquee out loud. "Bradley Bradshaw!"

"Okay, fine," he said, parking and killing the engine. "I'm old, and I like old shit. But really, the movie selection was just for you, Princess."

You turned and looked at the marquee again as it changed to show the retro film of the night. "Adventures in Babysitting!"

-----------------------------

Bradley pulled some of the cash from the spot behind the TV and gave it to Amelia as she collected her belongings. She and Noah made some art projects together which she said were drying on the kitchen table, and once again, she offered to watch him anytime.

"He's the sweetest little guy," she promised as her eyes dipped down to your belly. "But you'll have to pay me more to watch two."

"We can negotiate your rate when the time comes," Bradley said with a laugh while he opened the front door.

"Deal."

She walked along the path to her parked car, and Bradley made sure it started up before he shut the door. He was turning the lock as he asked, "Did you like the movie?" But then his hand froze when he realized where your fingers were.

"I did," you promised, pulling his jeans zipper down over his considerable bulge. He wasn't even hard yet, but you were already so turned on. "Wanna go on your own adventure? With your former babysitter?"

You weren't subtle as you looked up at him and licked your lips, tugging him gently toward the couch. "If I ever say no to you, then there's something seriously wrong with me," he groaned, letting you pull his jeans and underwear down so his soft length hung out from beneath his shirt.

When he dropped down onto the cushion, you dragged his jeans down to his calves so he could spread his legs open a little wider. You kissed his tip and he made a soft sound at the back of his throat as he started to get hard. You dragged your hands up and back down his full length, keeping your eyes locked on his. "Hi, Daddy," you whispered before dragging your tongue along the pretty bead of his precum, enjoying the way he throbbed.

"Hi, Princess," he managed as you smiled up at him. His voice sounded strained as you moved slowly and meticulously, stroking him until he was rock hard.

Right before you took him between your lips, you said, "We're getting married." You smiled around his length as he whined your name, and you let him thrust until he tapped the back of your throat. Then you sucked along his length, inch by inch, until he popped free from your lips, and you whispered, "And we're having a baby."

His fingers found your cheek, his skin a little rough against your face as you rested your head on his thigh. Bradley's eyes were glued to yours, watching you with wide pupils as you lazily kitten licked his cock and stroked his balls with your thumb. "You look so pretty like this," he rasped, and you kissed him before continuing with your little licks. "You're gorgeous when you're driving me out of my mind."

You giggled softly, and his cock throbbed against your lips. "I like teasing you."

Bradley grunted, his fingers tipping your chin up as he said, "I can fucking tell. And you can tease me all you want as long as you suck me off in the living room for the rest of my life."

You licked his length and whispered, "I'll put it in my wedding vows." Then he guided your parted lips around his cock again, and he moaned in satisfaction as you took him deep.

His stamina was commendable like always. You gagged yourself on him over and over until your saliva was dripping down your chin and his balls. You gripped at his thighs as he thrust up to meet you with his fingers gentle on your face. And all the while, he words were sweet in comparison to the rough hairs rubbing your lip and the tears burning your eyes.

"You're perfect, Baby. Can't get enough. Gonna marry you... my beautiful Princess."

When he finally came, you were sputtering and practically in tears before scrambling up onto his lap as he told you he loved you. Bradley's hands found your belly as you kissed him.

"I love you too, Daddy," you whispered before he dipped his tongue between your lips to taste himself. Soon you and he would be married. You were pregnant and exhausted and letting him do most of the planning, but it would be great. No matter what happened on your wedding day, it would be perfect. You'd have Bradley and Noah as your family. The baby was healthy. You didn't want to overthink how you belonged here and fit with them. You knew that you did, even when it was hard to see yourself the way Bradley always seemed to. You snuggled against him and said, "I think you're perfect, too."

-------------------------

I love this family. The next chapter was originally going to be their wedding, but I got some asks about Bradley's bachelor party, and well now I'm intrigued. So there may be one more chapter than I anticipated! If you have DILF Bradley bachelor party thoughts, please let me know. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 60

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@chassy21

@solacestyles

@daisyhollyxox

@wintercap89

@blog-name6996

@bcon24

@chaoticassidy

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@katiebby04

@marantha

@averyhotchner

@abaker74

@heli991113

@k-k0129

@noz4a2

@shanimallina87

@little-wiseone

@ccbb2222

@xoxabs88xox

@thedroneranger

@cherrycola27

@fanboyswhore9

@xomrsalliej4787xo

@desert-fern

@sylviebell

@wkndwlff

@horseslovers2016

@gennyanydots

@mattyskies

@hookslove1592

@blahehblah

@sadpetalsstuff

@local-spidey

@schoollover

@lex-winchester

@magicalmorg

@nicole01-23

@jessicab1991

@happyrebelruins

@samsgoddess

@ughthisisntright

@bellaireland1981

@sagittarius-flowerchild

@mygyn

@yuckosworld

509 notes · View notes

vanilladove · 4 months

Text

~ get free (3/3)

pic creds luvpngs | gif creds akashi-tetsuki

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ pairing: asylum patient!nikolai x asylum attendant!fem!reader

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ genre: smut w/ plot + dark content; 18+ only pls!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ content warnings: smut/nsfw, kidnapping, mentions of abuse + death, manipulation, violence, unhealthy relationships, infidelity (revenge hehe), slightly yandere!nikolai, dubious consent, husband yapping🤓

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ summary: you've been kidnapped by your patient and taken to meet "dos" and another member of the doa. you notice someone familiar and are forced to make a quick decision. will you free yourself or stay in another man's cage? ˚₊‧꒰ა read pt 1 & pt 2 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ word count: 5.6k

Your head was pounding and your eyelids felt heavy, along with the intense soreness coursing through your body, especially on the left side of your waist. Trying to open your eyes through the blinding light, you could barely make out two figures in front of you--they looked like they were talking, so you tried to listen to the warped voices as much as you could with the remaining consciousness you could muster.

"Nikolai, I've meaning to ask you..." A deep, disinterested voice inquired. "What are you planning to do with that?"

"That? Don't be rude, Dos! This is Dove, I wrote to you about her in our letters, remember?" You could make out Nikolai's whines.

"Yes, but what use does she have for the Decay of Angels? If she's just another plaything, then she doesn't belong at the base. Besides, that woman is just another liability."

Nikolai sighed annoyedly, "She's my lover. I intend to keep her with me. I'm sure we can find a way for her to contribute later," he smirked, "I guess you wouldn't understand though...When's the last time you felt the touch of a woman, anyways?

You heard Dos scoff loudly at Nikolai's remark, "Fine, do what you like with her. Also, Sigma and I have finished getting information out of the target, so he's ready for disposal in the basement. He was a real pain to deal with."

Nikolai giggled at that, joking more with Dos. The exhaustion was taking over you again, though, so you couldn't keep yourself awake to glean anymore information from their conversation.

You heard the two men's voices fade out into the background as sleep overtook you once again.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

When you finally woke up, it was dim. You winced as you got up and took in your surroundings: the silk sheets you were under, a large bed, a spacious gothic-style room, cream curtains covering tall windows, and cuddled next to you...Nikolai?

You flinched lightly when you looked down to see his eyes staring directly into yours. He got up slowly and pulled you into his strong arms, moving the stray hairs--which had been mysteriously braided--out of your face and kissing your forehead lovingly. "How are you feeling, myla? Did some of the pain go away?"

You blushed as you felt his warm chest against you. He was shirtless, and all of the passionate hickeys you'd given him were exposed. Nikolai smirked cheekily when you stared at them for too long and watched your blush deepen when you realized you were wearing his white button up with nothing underneath. You looked so cute in the oversized shirt, so his.

Confusion coming back to you, you pulled away a bit, "Wait, Nikolai, where are we?" You frowned, last remembering being in the bath house, "The asylum...what happened?"

A sigh left his lips as he placed your head on his shoulder, "Well, after we had sex in the tub--by the way, you're pretty good at riding--" heat rose in your cheeks from his dirty comment, "back up was on their way and I didn't have enough time to explain things, so I needed to subdue you quickly for us to escape. That was why I had to use the tranquilizer on you. Sorry, you must've been shocked..." Nikolai stroked your hair softly, but you pulled back in bewilderment, staring into his softened eyes.

"Wait, why couldn't you just tell me that before? And how did you escape so fast? Where is this pl--" Nikolai cut you off suddenly, dramatically pressing a finger to your lips, "This is the Decay of Angel's temporary base...we're pretty far from the asylum and ran away like you wanted. I couldn't tell you anything because we needed to know if we could trust you." You tried to object at that, but your ex-patient only pushed his finger further to silence you. "And how we got here? Hmmm..." he paused to giggle manically, "Well, dove, that's a secret I can't tell yet...I'm a jester after all. I have tricks up my sleeve that I can't reveal to the audience--even to pretty girls like you~" You groaned as he replaced his finger with his lips and peppered kisses all over your flustered face.

He clearly wasn't telling you everything, but you didn't have any choice but to believe him. After all, you were still in one piece and out of the asylum, and he'd at least taken you to a nice place with silk sheets and roses. Nikolai wouldn't lie to you or harm you without a good reason, would he?

You pouted, "Fine, I believe you..." Nikolai grinned proudly and rolled off the bed. He stretched and threw you your black biker shorts and underwear that he'd pulled seemingly out of nowhere along with a loose white shirt that matched his uniform linen pants.

"Come on, pryntsesa, there's someone I want you to see."

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You shakily stepped forward as Nikolai led you deeper into what seemed to be a basement. The walls were covered in pale bricks and dimly lit lanterns--keeping up with the medieval theme of the overall base. In the barely illuminated darkness, you could make out what looked like a jail cell. You kept trying to peer at Nikolai to ask him where exactly you were going and who he was taking you to see, but he only stared ahead with the same proud smirk on his face.

Maybe he was taking you to meet Sigma? Or the other members of the Decay of Angels? You shivered thinking about the fact you really were in their base; Nikolai's files had included that he used to work with a terrorist organization and the various atrocities they'd committed. Now that you were with them, you wondered if that made you a hostage or co-conspirator. You briefly recalled Dos mentioning "the target" in the basement. Was that who you were going to see?

You were snapped out of your thoughts when you bumped into Nikolai's back, his soft braid tickling your nose. You muttered out a quiet apology as he flipped on a switch to brightly light up the jail cell you stood outside of. He turned slightly to face you and smiled gently at you as he brought you in front of him, putting his hands on your shoulders and making you blush. Some sudden cries grabbed your attention to what was in front of you, causing you to instinctively recoil at the familiar face staring back at you.

The boss of the asylum--your husband.

"Dear, is that you?" His raspy voice called out. Getting a full look at him, he looked worse than ever--sweaty disheveled hair clinging to his forehead; uniform tattered and stained with dirt, sweat, and what appeared to be ash; and a desperate, blown out expression on his face. You couldn't believe your eyes--Why was he here?

"T-that man kidnapped you, didn't he?" He got up from the floor and stepped closer in response to your silence, "L-look, I don't know w-what those terrorists told you, but that f-freak--" your husband shrieked, pointing at Nikolai but quickly bringing his finger down in fear, "--burned down the entire asylum and dragged us here. The new girls, the guards, they all got burned or severely injured." Your eyes widened as he started crying and wailing miserably, "A-and Lacey...sh-she's dead...what a brutal way to die...Oh God...Lacey--" The boss clutched his face as tears streamed down his face, mixing with the ash and further sullying his appearance.

Disgust and shock hit you, partly from the mess in front of you that was still reminiscing about the home wrecker he'd cheated on you with and partly because of the events you'd just learned--assuming your husband wasn't lying, Nikolai committing arson and presumably killing Lacey were details that he kept from you. You turned to face the jester, but he only kept his smile from earlier--eyes now devoid of warmth and stoically cold, gazing back into your dilated pupils before turning your head around back to the cell. You shuddered lightly: that was him confirming it was true.

Your husband's eyes twitched at your lack of reaction. He abruptly lunged towards the jail cell, clinging onto the cell bars and struggling against them to try to reach out to you. You screamed as his arm extended in your direction, and Nikolai stepped back to wrap his arms protectively around you, pulling you into his chest.

Your husband was banging against the bars, "Please! L-listen to me, darling!" You cringed at the fake nickname. "Forgive me for what I did in the past and save me--I'm sure h-help's coming. After this, I-I'll...buy you a new car and w-we can go on a nice vacation, start a f-family--start over, y'know?" He gave you a distraught smile, and you cringed at his pathetic display of promises. There was absolutely no way you could willingly go back to a man who'd abused and betrayed you.

Snot was now falling down his nose as he tried to fix his hair and steady his voice; he was practically yelling at you now. "Look, I'm sorry for cheating on you. Lacey was just too tempting...but I regret it, a-and now I know that I really love you." You weren't convinced, he was clearly just trying to save face. "S-shit!" He clanged against the bars again, knuckles turning white from how hard he was gripping them, "I'm trying to apologize to you, dear. I love you--I'm wearing my ring for fuck's sake! C-can't you see that that freak's manipulating you?" He tried to make eye contact again with the white-haired man in front of him, but only cowered back in fright after meeting his intimidating gaze.

You could sense Nikolai glaring back as he tightened his grip around you. It made you frown seeing your husband trying to act like he knew everything about your relationship...Nikolai wasn't manipulating you; he loved you in the way your unfaithful husband never could.

"What are you talking about?" You asked sadly, completely shattering whatever pitiful resolve your husband had left. He gasped horribly and fell to his knees, realizing that you were too far gone, too in love with Gogol.

He stopped when he looked up and noticed your bare neck. "Your ring...why isn't your necklace on?" You traced around the empty space, feeling how light it was now that it was gone. Nikolai smirked in response.

"I--"

"She doesn't need it anymore." Nikolai replied darkly, cutting you off. He laughed a bit, the expression not quite reaching his eyes. He turned to you, startling you a bit. "Actually, you threw it away yourself, didn't you, dove? 'Cause you don't love him anymore." You nodded affirmatively, exasperating your husband even more as he resumed his sobs. Nikolai only curled his lip up coyly at his reaction and brought one of hands down to stroke your inner thigh provocatively as another brought your chin up to kiss you passionately. Heat flowed throughout your body as you blushed deeply. You couldn't tell how much time passed as you felt dizzy after he slipped his tongue in. The anguished cries in the background were drowned out as Nikolai pulled away slowly, making you flustered from the string of saliva left behind.

He licked his lips satisfyingly and gave you a peck before whispering in your ear, "Go on, ptashka, tell him how you feel."

Flush still on your cheeks, you looked directly at your old partner, who was now shaking in agony, "He's right--he's not manipulating me, either. I'm not yours anymore, and I don't want our old life back. I--" Nikolai was still stroking your thigh and was dangerously close to your panties. "I--mmh--I'm in love with Kolya now, and I want to be with him." You missed the pink on Nikolai's face as you saw your husband practically collapse, banging on the ground as he bawled awfully.

"Y-you fucking slut! How could you betray me like this? A-nd your p-parents--w-what would they think about this?" You backed away from the cell, bothered by his yelling. You wished he would shut up already.

Your husband's rambling was stopped suddenly as the sound of a gun cocking reverberated off the brick walls. It was from Nikolai. He placed it in your hands while gazing into your eyes sincerely. "Dove, you've been trapped in this man's cage--stuck on a ride you want to get off, but you keep riding. I want you to decide...If you want to keep playing his game or live your own life."

Your eyes widened at that. This was your chance to change your life and free yourself from the burden of your old life. There was no more chasing rainbows and hoping for an end to them, no more waiting for an inconsiderate man to love you. There was no sure promise of a better life if you saved him and went back to him...

Shit, what the hell were you thinking about? Could you really kill someone by yourself so easily?

Brain an absolute conflicting mess, you felt like you had a war in your mind. You couldn't think clearly as your thoughts jumbled together, and the intensity of the cold metal was making you unsteady. Nikolai noticed and wrapped his warm hand around your shaky one, bringing it up to aim at your husband's head.

"Do you want him gone, myla?" He whispered into your ear, placing your finger over the trigger. "All you have to do is shoot, and it'll all be over." His soft whispers drowned out the sound of your husband begging for his life and backing away desperately in the background. Nikolai gave you the same warm smile as before and his usually dull right green eye was sparkling with emotion. In a strange way, it was comforting, reminding you that you weren't alone.

You didn't remember much after that, just feeling the gun go off and Nikolai's hand over yours, followed by a deafening silence. You winced as you felt something wet against the side of your skin and blood splattered across Nikolai's white clothes. You didn't dare look at your own shirt. Your heartbeat was so loud in your ears, and you swore you were about to explode. Nikolai was grinning and laughing maniacally, while you could barely register your own emotions. You slowly turned your head to peer into the cell, but Nikolai put his hand out to block your sight. It was probably for the better, anyways. The stillness already confirmed your husband was dead.

Instead, Nikolai put his hands around your face and crashed his lips onto yours possessively. You closed your eyes as he muttered sweet nothings in between kisses and wrapped your arms around his torso, collapsing as your body slowly gave out and the gun dropped to the floor.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Nikolai kissed your forehead gently again as he wrapped a warm towel around your shivering body. After leaving the murder scene, you'd taken a shower together. You guessed it was like 'washing away your crimes' and getting clean again. It was strange, despite how lovesick he was over you, he didn't touch you sexually at all while washing your body. You thanked him and mustered up a small smile as you turned away from towards the mirror.

"Are you still shaken up, myla?" From your--no, our--first kill?" You stared into your reflection and looked down, basically giving him your answer. "It's okay, it's human to feel guilt and remorse after a death...even a horrible monster like me still feels that way, too!" He beamed at you, giggling contagiously.

You pouted back at him, feeling a slight burden lifted off of you, "Don't call yourself that--you're my lover now..." You mumbled, blushing slightly. You could love each other openly now.

He smirked and hugged your waist, the fabric of his clean white button-up--unbuttoned and exposing his toned six pack--and black slacks pressing against your skin. He'd gotten ready while you were spacing out in front of the fogged-up mirror, but you couldn't help stopping to admire how handsome he was.

"Ahhhh, I almost forgot...I never told you why I fell in love with you in the first place, did I, dove? You looked up at him curiously and he kissed the tip of your nose, "It's because you reminded me of my past self. Unknowingly in a cage, slightly different from the rest--I still remember the pretty little smile you flashed me the day we met and how sweetly you treated me...kinda unprofessional by the way...flirting with a crazy man..." Nikolai slowly trailed his kisses over your jaw and down your neck, making you start to feel warm inside, "I wanted to free you from the control of the outside world...I could tell you already had the willingness to change and just needed a small push." You yelped as Nikolai bit down softly to mark your collarbone and dropped the towel from your body.

You instinctively tried to cover up your body, but Nikolai stopped your arms, placing them on the rim of the sink instead. His hands left your waist to fondle your tit, drawing circles around the hardened bud while his other hand crept down your stomach to slip over your slit. A familiar rose dusted your cheeks as he kissed your neck softly and a moan slipped out from you, "A-ahhh, K-Kolya..." He nudged your jaw up towards the mirror.

The fog had evaporated away, so you could now see your reflection. To see yourself in such a lewd, shameless state, completely naked while Nikolai was basically fully dressed was...you couldn't describe it. He tenderly kissed your skin again before grinning at the mirror and taking his hand off your chest to lift up your face.

"Look how cute you are, dove. You really love my touch, huh~?" He pulled his slick-covered fingers out from your thighs and licked them clean. Watching him do it through the mirror was an enticing sight: it made you want more. Nikolai wasn't oblivious to your slight panting and trembling either. "Watch clearly as I make love to you, pryntsesa." His fingers dipped back into your cunt, parting your folds as his middle finger slipped inside of you while his thumb played with your clit. His other hand resumed massaging your breasts as he licked down his trail of kisses. You couldn't help but mewl at his actions, getting wetter watching the sight in front of you.

It was strange, he was typically rough and forward, but he was unusually soft with you this time. You didn't have time to think about why as he inserted another finger and went at a slightly faster pace, making you start to rock your hips against his hand. You moaned as the sensation coursed through your lower half, fingers gripping the rim of the sink and ass arching into his back, making you blush when you brushed against his clothed bulge.

"Mmmm~Kolya...your fingers...they're--ahh--s'good--"

"Y-yeah? You like 'em, pretty girl?" He heaved into your ear. He wanted to be gentle with you today, but the sight of you in the mirror and the way you were moaning his name so angelically was making him more hot and bothered than he wanted to admit. "C-cum whenever you want, 'kay?" Nikolai pumped his fingers more intensely into you, needy to make you finish as you struggled against his hold, the pressure making you lose balance and lean forward. He sturdied you against his chest again and captured your lips to pull you into a deep kiss, your tongues wrapping around each other.

The coil in your stomach got tighter as his long fingers pressed against your sweet spot, and his pointer and thumb coming together to pinch your sensitive clit finally sent you over the edge. You cried out his name as you came all over his fingers, staining the front of his pants and shaking from the intensity of your orgasm. Nikolai gently kissed away your tears as you came down from your high, hugging your waist and caressing your sides.

You gasped as you heard him unzipping his damp slacks, and you looked in the mirror, your eyes traveling straight down to his hardened member. Nikolai started stroking his length slowly, pale pink tip sticky with pre-cum, as he lowly groaned your name. "S-sorry dove, I--fuck--wanted to play with you more, but I--ah--can't wait any longer..." Heat went straight to your core upon hearing that.

"I-it's fine, p-put it in..." You looked back at him sweetly before parting your folds with your pretty nails, and he grunted after seeing some of your arousal drip down your thighs.

"F-fuck, myla, you're so beautiful~" You hissed at the feeling of Nikolai teasing past your slit before entering you slowly. Even though he'd prepped you more than last time, you still whimpered lightly from the stretch, secretly making him smirk pridefully. He silenced your moans with another gentle kiss as he started thrusting inside of you, lewd sounds bouncing off the walls. Both of his hands went back to your tits to play with them again as he broke away from the kiss, groaning into your neck as he pushed deeper into your pussy. It wasn't enough for him, though.

He lifted your leg up slightly and bent it slightly at an angle before drilling his cock harder into your cunt, your hands pressing close to the mirror as your back arched, so he could go deeper inside you. Nikolai groaned and bit his lip as your walls clenched around his length. He soothed your pleasured cries by kissing down your back, pressing his abs against your hot skin. The foggy reflection of your tits bouncing up and down with his movements and the fucked-out expression on your face made him moan lowly, praising you for taking him so well.

You whined at the tight feeling in your core as your pussy sucked in his cock. The feeling was so good you were moving your hips back and forth to meet his thrusts, ass recoiling perfectly in response. Nikolai was still hyper-focused on leaving hickeys on your skin and squeezing your tender nipples, and his hot breath tickling your neck was driving you crazy. He groaned as you squeezed his length again, pre-cum starting to leave a creamy ring at the base of his cock.

"A-ahh~ I'm close--keep going, p-please--" You begged, desperate to cum and hoping he wouldn't edge you like last time. He smirked, pleased by how needy you were. He nodded, locking you in another messy kiss as his free hand traveled down to your hips. Nikolai pulled away from you slightly before re-entering you harshly, making you see stars.

You choked on your moans as you whimpered his name, pussy clenching around him even more. He was breathing heavily, and his thrusts were getting slower and messier, signaling that he was close, too. You got up slightly on your elbows and looked back at him affectionately, "I love you, Nikolai."

His eyes widened as he pulled your back against his chiseled stomach and buried his face into the crook of your neck, secretly blushing like crazy. His strong arms came back to wrap around your waist, making you yelp when you felt him all the way inside you. "L-love you, too, dove~" He rasped quietly as he came in your pretty cunt.

The warmth made you moan as you followed with your second orgasm, panting at the euphoric sensation. Only Nikolai could make you feel like this. He pulled out slowly and turned your fragile body around towards him, hugging you intimately and kissing your forehead softly. He tucked your damp hair behind your ear and kissed the spot again, "You did so good, myla." You hugged him back, nuzzling into his chest and blushing when you heard his frantic heartbeat.

"I'm so happy you're mine now..." He whispered quietly, kissing your head again before steadying you against the sink to wet a towel and clean himself off. Nikolai bent down a bit to wipe you down, and you impulsively ruffled his fluffy white hair, making him giggle and plant a small kiss on your inner thigh. You smiled adoringly.

So he has his soft moments, too, huh.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Your and Nikolai's hands were intertwined as he led you to a grand dining room. Apparently, you were supposed to have dinner and meet two other members of the Decay of Angels. You fidgeted nervously as you approached the grand dining table, which was decorated with gold candelabras and a cream cloth table runner. Despite the warm decorations, the room still had a slight eerie feel.

The two men seated at the end of the dining table looked up at you. Nikolai had given you some fresh clothes, lending you one of his oversized chunky cream sweaters and a silk midi skirt that he'd quickly sewn out of the sheets. From the occasion, you'd learned about his surprising little hobby. On the other hand, he kept on his white button-up--now loosely buttoned--and just changed into a different pair of black and white striped pants.

Nikolai placed his hand on your waist and beamed excitedly, "Sigma, Dos, meet Dove! She's my lover and is going to be staying with us from now on!" He pushed you forward a bit and you nervously bowed.

"N-nice to meet you both. Thanks for accepting me, and I hope we all get along." You cursed yourself mentally for not coming off as confident as you wanted, but you couldn't help but crack slightly under the two men's stares.

Dos, who was sitting at the head of the table merely sneered silently and continued glaring at you as you sat down next to Nikolai. The man sitting across from you offered you a bashful smile instead, "N-nice to meet you, too. I'm Sigma." You smiled back at him, secretly grateful that he was trying to cut the tension.

Nikolai clapped his hands, "Okay, we've gotten introductions out of the way! Let's eat now~" Your eyes drifted to the bowl of pelmeni soup and borodinsky bread in front of you. To be honest, you were starving but concerned since Dos hadn't touched his food at all and was still intently staring you down.

Sigma cleared his throat and spoke up again, "Y-you can eat the food. It isn't poisoned or anything. Ivan made it." Ivan? You didn't know who that was, but you nodded and thanked him quietly, trying a spoonful of the soup. You wished you could just scarf it down, but you decided to eat in a ladylike manner as to leave a good impression.

You weren't quite sure if you'd impressed Dos, though, who had finally introduced himself as Fyodor Dostoyevsky a few minutes later, resting his chin on his linked hands.

"Welcome. We're the Decay of Angels, a terrorist organization that commits murders and causes great fear and suffering--find a way to make yourself useful or you'll be disposed of--" He stared straight into your eyes, "--by me personally." Your heartbeat increased in fear and your hands went slightly clammy upon hearing that.

Nikolai put down his spoon, "Oi! Be a bit more gentle with her, will you?" Fyodor's gaze left you and he turned to Nikolai, "I know this is the first woman you've interacted with face-to-face in years, but you're already threatening her? Seriously? No wonder you're single..."

Fyodor's eyebrow twitched in response as Sigma turned away, obviously trying to stifle a laugh, and he and Nikolai glared daggers at each other. You hid your face in embarrassment as Fyodor scoffed annoyedly and dismissed himself from the table, taking his dinner with him. So much for getting along.

"God, he hates me now...he's probably going to murder me in my sleep..." You looked sadly at Nikolai, but he only grinned snidely.

"Don't worry about it, ptashka, Dos is just like that. Anyways, the mood's lightened up so much now that he's gone, right?" He giggled maniacally--unserious as always. Sigma chimed in as well, trying to cheer you up,

"Y-yeah! To be honest, I haven't spoken to him much, either, and I've been here for a while. He's just the serious, loner type." You weren't convinced fully, which he noticed. "I-I'm the general manager of the sky casino." You looked up and nodded, hearing about it before--a luxurious place for people to gamble away their fortunes and essentially be ungoverned and off-the-grid. "If you're not doing anything tomorrow, why don't you come and visit? I'll give you some money, on the house!" You perked up at that, taking up Sigma on his offer, much to his relief.

"I'll be going, too, just so you know." Nikolai butted in, making Sigma sigh and tell Nikolai he wasn't invited didn't have to come with. The two bickered back and forth, Nikolai being insistent on going to the casino with you two.

You giggled at that, they were just like real friends. Perhaps your stay here wouldn't be too bad--at least now one more person liked you. Sigma and Nikolai stopped arguing after hearing you laugh and looked at each other before smiling softly at you. You yelped as Nikolai jumped at you suddenly to attack your face with kisses, making Sigma cringe.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You'd finished dinner with Nikolai and Sigma, successfully being cheered up from the previous tension. It wasn't too long-lived though, as Nikolai had asked you to get Fyodor's dirty dishes. You tried to object, but he'd simply just waved his hand at you while he resumed washing the dishes with Sigma.

Knocking on the door to Dos's room, you hesitantly cleared your throat and spoke, "Can I come in? I just need to get your dishes." You heard him shuffle around and click his tongue,

"The door's unlocked. Come in." You gulped before turning the knob and entering. The stone room was cold and barren, with the only 'decoration' being a table holding several different monitors and keyboards. The room was only lit by the screens, which were circling with code and all sorts of data. Fyodor didn't even try to acknowledge your presence or turn around, so you just tried to step around the various cords on the floor and grab his bowl in front of him.

He was reading a book in his chair and still didn't speak a word, but you could feel his glares cutting into the back of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. You grabbed the bowl and turned back around--again trying to avoid stepping on any cords--and your eyes curiously tried to see what book he was reading.

He rotated his chair briefly, "You know, being a housewife isn't--"

"Crime and Punishment?! Oh, I remember reading that book in the asylum's library. It's a great commentary on the transformative power of guilt and the possibility of redemption, isn't it?" You chirped, instantly regretting your impulsive input on the book. Why did you have to be such a bookworm?

Fyodor's eyes widened slightly as he closed his mouth, truly caught off-guard, "Yes, it is." He went back to his book as you shyly smiled and made your way through the cords, back finally turned away from him. He paused, "You can borrow it if you like. I can give it to you tomorrow after breakfast."

You stopped in your tracks, turning your head slightly. You were only met with the sight of his chair, though. "R-really? T-that would be nice, actually...Thank you." You trailed slowly towards the door before leaving. "G-goodnight!" Flustered, you closed the door quickly, missing him saying it back and the pale rose that was dusting his cheeks.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Life with the Decay of Angels had been going surprisingly well. It had been two months since Nikolai had taken you to the base, and you'd adjusted in that time span.

You got close with Sigma, who admitted he was a bit intimidated and scared of you at first because you were Nikolai's lover, but he was relieved you weren't exactly like him. Fyodor had become more open and accepting of you, and you both mostly connected over the literature he would share with you. Nikolai tried to keep you away from him as much as possible, though he would never tell you why...

You had become a decoy of sorts and helped Nikolai on the ground with disguises and espionage. Currently, you were both infiltrating Mersault. You had learned that the true reason for Nikolai coming to the asylum was to get a hold of the space-creating ability that both Mersault and the asylum were built with. Fyodor was hoping to harness it to build a secret, impenetrable base for the Decay of Angels.

Criminal profiling and socialization skills from your previous attendant position had come in handy when going undercover, along with your "feminine charm" that none of the other members possessed. Of course, Nikolai was all too excited to have you working with him, never missing the chance for quickies or subtle flirting and teasing. You couldn't exactly say that you hated it, though...

Whenever you walked around in public, you would occasionally see a "missing" poster with your face and information on it. You would always discreetly rip up and toss them, though, having no desire to be found or go back to your old life.

After all, you'd finally crossed the threshold from the ordinary world to a new life with your true lover. You'd been freed, and you were never going back.

˚₊‧꒰ა bad ending໒꒱ ‧₊˚

446 notes · View notes

itsallyscorner · 11 months

Text

Coffee Talk | H.S

pairing: boyfriend!Harry x fem!reader

warnings: it’s supposed to be like a podcast episode so it’s a little long and has a lot of dialogue—just did some experimenting, lmk what you guys think :)

overview: Harry is a guest on your podcast.

a/n: Clearly, I’ve been listening/watching a lot of podcasts. I just like hearing people talk. Reader’s co-host, Mable, is inspired by Selena Gomez <3

Coffee Talk Ep. 96: (Y/n)‘s Boyfriend, Hobama, and Marriage

“Hello friends and welcome back to another episode of Coffee Talk! I’m your host, (Y/n), and I hope you are all doing well!” You waved at the camera doing your usual intro.

You did a drumroll with your hands on the table and continued, “Now, we have an exciting episode for you guys today. You have been asking—basically begging—for us to get this person on the pod and it’s finally happening today! So grab a blanket, get some snacks, and get comfortable, because this is gonna be a fun one!”

The video cuts to your co-host, Mable, who is sitting across from you on a loveseat.

“I feel like we should build the tension before we tell them who it is.” Mabel chimes in, stirring her Starbucks cup (whose label has been covered since you guys aren’t sponsored by Starbies).

“That was a really good segue for Roll Call, Mae.” You pointed out, calling her by her nickname.

“I gotchu, babe.” Mable assured you, throwing a wink in your direction. You laughed and adjusted your legs up on the couch you were on, “Right, so obviously, we have Mable across from me. How are ya, Mae? What’s the coffee order today?”

Mable smiled at you and crossed her legs, “Well since you asked so kindly. I’m doing very great this morning (y/n/n) and I have a caramel macchiato today.”

The video then cuts to Ryland who had a “bitch please” look on his face, “Mable’s only happy because she got laid last night.”

“RYLAND!” Mable screamed in shock, the video cutting to her reaction. The room erupted with laughter as she flipped him off and let empty threats stumble out of her lips at Ryland.

“YOU LITERALLY TEXTED IT IN THE GROUP CHAT!” Ryland stressed, leaning over the table to get closer to Mable. The video moved to you taking a long sip of your coffee while a familiar tattooed arm rested behind you on the couch.

“Clearly, the energy is through the roof today in the pod—we’ll probably get to Mable’s sex life in a bit.” You paused, smirking at your friend, “But back to roll call, we’ve got Ryland on cameras and sound. Ryland, how are you pookie?”

Ryland posed at the camera in front of him and waved wildly at it, “I’m doing swell stinkabutt.”

“What’s your coffee order today—actually Ryland doesn’t have coffee today, he has juice.” You explained to your listeners. Ryland held up his green juice, “Yeah, I’m on a juice cleanse everyone. Me and Sean are going to Aruba in a few weeks and I refuse to work out, so I’m drinking juice instead.”

“You look great Ry.” A voice off camera chimed in. The voice had a distinct accent that could only belong to a specific someone. Ryland smiled at the person, “Thanks Ha—wait I was just about to spoil who it was.” He immediately clasped his hand over his mouth with wide eyes.

“Y’know what, we’ve made you guys wait long enough.” You sighed before continuing, “Our guest is very special to me. He’s a recent Grammy winner, one of the biggest artists in the world, and he happens to be my boyfriend; please welcome to the pod mister Harry Styles!” You cheered, causing everyone in the room to clap. The video finally cut to Harry who was sat next you on a blush pink couch nursing a pastel yellow mug.

Harry adorable scrunched his nose and waved at you all bashfully, “Oh, stop it.”

“How does it feel to be on the pod, Harry?” You asked, turning your body towards him. Harry nodded and looked around the room, “I’m happy to be here, love, thanks f’having me. Also, I like what you’ve guys done to our shed, s’very comfy.”

“I totally forgot we were in your shed.” Ryland chuckled.

“Oh yeah, to everyone listening or watching, we’ve been filming this podcast in Harry and (Y/n)’s backyard.” Mable explained to the audience with a chuckle.

“It’s not a problem honestly, I’m glad you guys are getting some use out of it.” Harry assured you all as he glanced at the decorations around the room. There was an old school looking blush couch in the center of the room, which was across from a burnt mustard colored love seat. While the walls were painted a darker shade of matcha green with fairy lights strung along it.

Harry was seen glancing at the rug as he toed at it with his socked foot. “Where’d y’get the rug?” He asked you.

You peeked at said rug, “Your mom picked it out when she was helping me furniture shop here.” Harry’s mouth made an ‘o’ shape as he leaned back into the cushion, one of his legs crossed beneath him and the other hung off the couch.

“So Harold, what’s the coffee order today?” You motioned to his coffee. He proudly held the yellow mug up and smiled at the camera, “I’ve got my usual black coffee, courtesy of my lovely girlfriend.”

The camera panned to you hiding behind your Starbucks cup trying to hide your heated cheeks.

“And what do you have today, love?” Harry returned the question, naturally fitting into the conversation. You looked at the label on your cup, “I have my usual coffee order—H actually went out on a coffee run for me and Mable, so thank you bubs.” You answered, the corners of your mouth quirked up.

“They make me sick.” Ryland fake gagged.

“Aren’t you also in a relationship?” Mable narrowed her eyes at him. Ryland rolled his eyes at her, “Yeah, but they make me sick in a good way, like the wholesomeness is just too much.”

“What the fuck..”

Harry grinned at Ryland, “Y’gonna be fuckin’ puking by the time we’re done then.”

The camera cut to Mable smirking at you, “I find it so weird how you’re being so quiet.”

“Me?” You pointed at yourself amusingly. Harry glanced at you and visibly scooted closer to you. The sound of equipment being moved can be heard over the audio since Harry attempted to discreetly move his mic stand next to yours.

“Yes ma’am.” Mable nodded. You placed your cup on the round coffee table beside you.

“I don’t know why, but it just settled in that this is us, kind of like hard launching our relationship to the public.” You softly answered, hands fiddling with your (Harry’s) loose knitted sweater.

“But everyone knows you guys are together.” Ryland stated, confusion etched on his features. Harry rose his hand to answer. You giggled at him and nudged his arm, “You don’t need to raise your hand to speak, hun.”

“Sorry.” He shook his head.

“Don’t be.” You chuckled, allowing Harry to continue. “Everyone knows, but we haven’t been very public, y’know? We like keeping things between us. Like, this is the most public we’ve ever been.” He gestures to you guys sitting beside each other.

You chimed in jokingly, “Yeah, this is our first time sitting next to each other—like ever.”

Harry nodded along, “I’m shitting m’pants right now.” He stated, causing a few chuckles in the room.

“How much persuasion did it take for (Y/n) to get you on the pod?” Mable asked Harry, sipping her coffee. Harry’s brows furrowed as he stared at the ceiling.

“Not much. She asked and I was like—yeah, I’m down.” He answered, shrugging his shoulders for emphasis. You chuckled at him and added, “He’s forgetting the part when he admitted that he’s been waiting for me to ask him to guest star.”

“Have you really been waiting?” Ryland questioned your boyfriend. Harry’s brows raised as he exclaimed, “Yes! I bloody have! You guys literally had my sister on here before me!”

You all laughed at his slight frustration, “I swear it wasn’t on purpose!” The camera cuts to you and Harry, your hand squeezing his knee.

“Wait so did you guys meet through Harry’s sister?” Mable asked you both, she then was quick to add, “If you guys don’t mind me asking!”

You waved her off to assure her it was fine.

“We met through his stylist Harry Lambert.” You began before pointing to the camera, “Shout out to Lamby by the way!” Harry followed suit and instead waved at the camera with a lopsided grin.

“Anyway, Lamby and I know each other through work. We’re under the same company and we do similar things, etc. One day he invited me to come out to one of H’s shows, I didn’t have anything better to do, so I decided to go.”

“We met before the show though, remember?” Harry gently interjected, using his arm behind you to tap your shoulder. You nodded, “Yeah we did, I was fortunate enough to meet him before he went out on stage and we got on really well—“

You looked at Harry, “We probably spent about five minutes talking, right?”

“Yeh, it was pretty quick. I don’t know if you felt it at first, but like—Y’know that feeling when you kinda just know a person is gonna have some kind of impact on y’life?” Harry wondered aloud, hands waving around to try and get his point across. Mable and Ryland nodded, making sounds of agreement.

“It was like that and I thought about it the entire time I was on stage. After that everything seemed to fall into place and the rest was history.” Harry finished, smacking his hand on his leg. Ryland was the first to speak, “So after the concert did you try to always come up with an excuse to go to his shows or did you try to persuade Harry Lambert to invite (Y/n) more often?” Ryland pointed between the couple in front of him.

You and Harry stared at each other, his brow raised at you while your eyes squinted at his. Harry stuck his pointer finger out, “Well I got her number after, so I didn’t have to make any excuses for her to be at my shows. I’d invite her, she’d come and watch, then we would hang out after. Sometimes when we were in the same place, we would meet up too.”

“I’m assuming this went on for months?” Mable looked between you and Harry.

“Yeah, but the thing is, he was touring and I was working. So we had to be in different places all the time.” You clarified. Harry picked off where you left, “We managed to make it work though, I don’t think either of us were going to give up that easily.”

The video caught you and Harry gazing into each other’s eyes momentarily.

“Absolutely.” You agreed, scrunching your nose at him, similar to what he did earlier. Mable pouted at the two of you, “You guys are so cute.”

Harry quietly thanked her as he situated himself on the couch again. While Mable and Ryland gushed about how much you guys were “goals”, the famous singer got even more comfortable on the couch. He placed his mug down and leaned his body against your side, he softly took your arm and held it against his chest so you were holding him. He leaned the mic lower so it was closer to him and was mindful of where his feet was to avoid bumping his mug on the floor.

“I’m just curious, but what are like the weirdest rumors have you guys heard about yourselves?” Ryland asked, moving the conversation along.

“I don’t have any.” Mable shrugged.

“Maybe that guy last night can share some, should we call him?” You sang, jokingly pulling out your phone. Mable groaned and slapped her forehead with her palm, “I hate the both of you.”

“I’ve heard stuff about us, but I really think this rumor would be more fun to talk about.” You pondered. Harry shifted his head on your chest to look up at you, “Wha’ rumor?”

The corner of your lip turned into a smirk as you simply said, “Hobama.”

Harry suddenly threw his head back and bursted out laughing.

“Like President Obama?” Ryland screamed in shock, his brows raised to his forehead.

“I honestly don’t know how it started. It randomly popped up on the tabloids and followed me around for years—till this day, might I add!” Harry tried to clarify.

“I feel like it got even worse when Graham asked you about it.” You chuckled, fingers mindlessly playing with Harry’s brunette curls.

“What did Graham ask?” Mable leaned towards the couple.

“He asked if it was true that I had a sexual relationship or affair with Obama—I knew they were gonna ask me about it prior to the show being filmed. But at the time I was like fuck it and just went along w’it.” Harry started, “I didn’t know that it would become an actual thing.” He deadpanned, sending a look at the camera.

“Have there been any Hobama signs at any of your recent shows?” Ryland squinted his eyes at Harry.

“Not a one.” Harry paused, “But after this episode airs, I wouldn’t be surprised if I see a couple in the crowds.”

Mable crossed her arms, “Your shows are very interesting—in a good way—of course.”

“Thank you.” Harry grinned, “Yeh, we’ve got a lot of things going on. Every night it’s like a giant sleep over with a bunch of friends. We sing songs, we dance—“

“Trauma dumping!” Ryland interjected excitedly. Harry gestured to the man opposite him, “Right, we do therapy sessions.”

“Don’t forget the gender reveals, proposals, and helping them come out.” You continued to list, Harry nodding his head at every thing you said.

“Harry’s like a Swiss Army knife, he just does everything.” Mable joked. Ryland sighed and rested his chin in his palm, “You’re so talented.”

“You’re better at controlling cameras and all the sound equipment than me.” Harry acknowledged, raising a brow at him. Ryland snapped his finger at the Brit, “You’re so right, thank you, Harry.”

Harry placed his hand on his heart, “I gotcha man.” You then raised your hand, catching Harry’s attention, “Yes, m’love?”

“Can I just say how proud I am of you and like how insanely successful the tour has been?” You sat up, making Harry sit up as well. He remained close to you, wrapping his arm back around your shoulder. Though your statement made him pout at you, “Y’make my heart feel fuzzy.”

Mable and Ryland audibly awed at the both of you.

“No! Like seriously, it makes me so proud to see how much of a safe space your concert is to all you fans and anyone who steps foot into those shows.” You placed your hand on his tattooed arm and gave it a small squeeze. “I don’t think you realize how much of an impact you make on people’s lives, like we all appreciate you so much and I just wanted to remind you of that.” You shrugged, shrinking into your own shoulders.

“C’mere.” Harry said dragging out his words as he pulled you into a hug, this time he held you and your head was tucked into the crook of his neck. Instead of letting you go, Harry helped you get comfortable in his arms.

“While we’re at it, I just wanted to say how much fun I’m having right now. Thank you guys for having me” Harry gestured to Mable and Ryland across from him then turned to you, “And thank you to you for allowing me to be in your workspace and sharing it with me. You’ve always supported me throughout everything and now I finally get to support you and your craft, so thank you for trusting me to be here.”

Now it was your turn to pout, though there was a twinkle in you eye, “Thank you, H.” You hummed as Harry pecked your temple.

“I’m rooting so hard for you guys, you have no idea.” Mable said from her seat, the camera cut to Ryland who agreed.

“Yeh, I guess we like each other a lot.�� Harry joked. You smiled softly at him.

“I don’t wanna intrude but is there a possible wedding in the future?” Ryland asked. It was silent between you and Harry, the both of you staring at each other before answering.

“I think so, I have some pretty high hopes.” You answered. Harry made a sound of agreement, “I think when everything calms down we’ll figure it out, but without a doubt it’s definitely in the cards.”

Harry let out a small chuckle and added, “Let me release the fourth album and then I’ll put a ring on it.”

The camera cut to you blushing with wide eyes, clearly taken off guard by your boyfriend’s comment. Mable and Ryland were quick to react, sending you teasing looks and screaming “oooo”.

The corner of Harry’s mouth lifted into a smirk, turning his head to look at you he asked, “How’s that sound?”

You scrunched your nose (adorably, Harry might add) and pretended to put some thought into it.

“Sounds like a plan, but on one condition.”

Harry’s brows raised as he waited for you to continue.

“You have to release Medicine.” You said, Harry caught on to your banter and feigned an annoyed sigh, “Babe, we’ve talked about this.”

“Fine, then can we get a puppy?”

“Of course we can, darling, we’ll have one by tomorrow morning.” Harry jested, sounding incredibly posh.

You turned to the camera apologetically and spoke directly to your boyfriend’s fans, “Sorry guys, I tried.”

Though in reality, you knew that Harry would release Medicine in a heartbeat if you asked him to.

#Harry Styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles headcannon #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry edward styles #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles drabble #Harry Styles

2K notes · View notes

martyfive · 2 months

Text

i lay in bed sick for two weeks straight. first there’s body temperature i never knew was possible for a human to have, then there are coughs that feel like they may be the last ones i could ever have in my life, then there’s weakness, then my five year old phone falls down from the bed ending up completely broken, then the bed sheets become something i couldn’t bear to see anymore. then i get up, go outside and unexpectedly find myself at the offer of a somewhat steady part job at this small italian restaurant we’ve been visiting every sunday sharp for the last year and a half except for these two weeks i spent lying sick in bed. we are leaving the bar for the night when R. asks me if i’d like to help her at the bar a couple hours a week.

“i have no experience or anything,” i say, feeling extremely daft. “i’m not even sure i can talk to people properly. i never really could.”

“it’s okay,” she says. “you’ll be polishing the glasses. it’s not hard. i’ll teach you everything.”

on our way home A. says, “it could be good for you, you know. being among people and trying something new,” and i feel like he’s right.

at this point this small restaurant already feels like another home i want to belong to. going there every sunday for so long totally helped with that. they have one of my works i gave them as a present for christmas on the wall. it hangs up above the table me and A. occupied the first time we ever came to eat there. the frame contains pages from a sketchbook i used to draw in while visiting italy five years ago. it feels too personal, but also somehow on it’s place. i hate to hoard the stuff i create. i want to be bolder.

regretting my life choices, i spend all what’s left from my last year’s salary on a new phone. it’s a first phone i bought without anyone’s help. it costs more than i deserve.

i can’t find any will to start drawing again after being sick for two weeks.

a couple days later i go to the restaurant to ask R. about the time i can get to work. she says, “this thursday, 6:30 pm,” and then adds, tugging on my star wars hoodie, “and put on a black shirt, if you have one”.

so i find one that looks like A. has been wearing it during his teenage years when he looked more like a stick than a human and i go for the job that for the first time in my life has nothing to do with any kind of art except the art of making cocktails i still keep messing up. a couple hours a week somehow soon turns into ten as normally as “polishing glasses” turns into “doing everything there is possible to do as quickly as possible”.

“would you like to do thirty hours a week?” R. asks one day looking hopeful as if i hadn’t broken ten of their glasses in the first five days of work.

“my back is gonna die sooner than you expect it to if i agree to that,” i answer. and it really is the only reason i don’t say yes.

i soon notice there is no time to think of anything else except the work to be done while i am behind the bar once again forgetting the difference between prosecco and chardonnay or picking the ice from the ice machine or freezing in the giant fridge while looking for the specific crate of beer everyone in this town drinks more often than water. the countless amount of crates are brought from and to the back room. the ten glasses are crushed, four of them in my own hands just from squeezing too hard on them. i cringe about every single one of them before falling asleep after coming home around midnight with my aching back and more money than i ever earned drawing pictures. i think about that one time my friend told me that once you start working in catering, there’s no way back. i haven’t talked to her in a while and i can’t ask her if she still thinks it’s true.

i still can’t draw. i guess it will pass. i still cough although i’m trying not to be loud when i’m behind the bar.

“you smoke?” R. asks. “i do. i just don’t have time.”

“i’ve been smoking since i was sixteen. but not anymore really,” i say to that. “when my mother calls me, then i smoke. but that doesn’t happen very often.”

M. laughs at that as if he understands what i’m talking about and says, “with this job, i either smoke a cigarette or kill somebody,” and i laugh with him.

M. is the chef and the restaurant is named after him. he cooks so good there is surely nothing better i’ve ever eaten in my entire life. i hear all about it from guests while picking the dishes from the tables, smiling and pretending my hands are not shaking. he and R. speak to each other in loud italian and i like how they sound even if i only understand a couple words from their dialogues.

“what’s allora?” i ask one time.

R. looks at me like i’m the only one who ever asked her a silly question like that, “huh,” she says, “i don’t know. it’s like here we go or something like that,” and she smiles.

i like talking to her. for some reason i like asking her questions and seeing the surprise on her face. she’s five years older than me but i feel like a child around her. she also has her birthday in november.

“all my family are scorpions,” she says after revealing the fact that there’s ten days between our birthdays. she names at least ten of the members of her family and all their november birthday dates in a row.

i say, “the parties must be hilarious when you all gather together.”

more often i feel like she’s my serious boss i keep disappointing with my every move but at the end of the shifts she turns into what feels more like a friend. i secretly hope i can be her friend one day even though it seems like she knows the name of every human being in this town and even some other nearby towns and doesn’t really need any more friends than she already has. but after all, i’m a part of this town now, too.

“what is your favourite thing to do here here at the bar?” i ask the other day.

she looks puzzled for a second, “maybe serving fish,” she says and this time it’s my turn to feel surprised. i saw how it’s done, and i don’t really know what she means.

“i thought it’s talking to people or something,” i say.

“nah,” she waves her hand, “it’s just my job, you know.”

i regret entering this territory but i still ask, “would you better like to do something else? some other job?”

“nah,” she says again, smiling, “i like it.”

and i like it too. horrifyingly, i like it too much. thinking about sitting at home and drawing stuff like i used to do all my life feels like a torture. it surely is one when i pick up my tablet and pencil and stare at the white canvas not knowing who i am anymore. there is nothing in my head i want to say. there is nothing my hands can do. i have no idea why. i want to go back behind the bar and ask R. what her favourite colour is.

“i’m proud of you,” A. says one night while we’re going back home from the restaurant where he got his two beers and one glass of whiskey i poured for him myself. he spent two hours sitting at the bar not far from these three teenage boys who have been drinking an enormous amount of beer and playing cards and then trying to guess where i come from according to my accent. “i’m proud that you’re doing good and you found something that you like so much.”

i buy two black shirts and jeans. i take my old black coat out of the wardrobe. i walk for two minutes from home to the bar and back looking fancier than ever. i feel happier than ever. i don’t look at my social media. i feel like this rotten sadness and loneliness that occupied my head for so long has nothing to do with my life now. i wonder if it’s just a phase. i consider finding a new therapist just to ask them if it’s okay to feel this good or i should be medicated before it’s too late. i want to go to bed at proper hour, wake up earlier, spend the day feeling good and then go to the bar and ask R. stupid questions and be stressed about the things i can control. i look at my workplace at home, at the white canvas that reflects nothingness in my head, at everything i have ever known, and i don’t know what to do.

i go back to work.

“you like it here?” M. asks almost every time. “is everything okay?”

“everything’s okay,” i say, smiling. and i mean it.

someone’s ordering an espresso at 11 pm. R. says, “tell them the coffee machine is already off,” turning it off while saying it. i laugh. i feel happy. i go home knowing there’s gonna be more work to be done tomorrow. i miss drawing stuff. i have nothing to say. i fall asleep thinking of the ten glasses i broke. in the morning, i can’t draw. i used to draw most of my stuff at the evenings and during the nights. now they are full of beer glasses and beer crates and adhd people who want an espresso before bed.

i ask myself if that really is how growing up feels like. i ask myself what i am going to do if i will not be able to draw a single piece of art ever again. i read the email of the person who wants me to draw an artwork for them. i wonder if they should know i’m an imposter who can’t draw anymore. i tell myself to shut up and stop being dramatic.

i go to work.

there’s a wedding at the restaurant. i once again bring what feels like an endless amount of bottle crates from the back room to the bar. i smile. i talk to people. i wipe the tables. i polish the glasses. i pour beer into them.

“my back hurts,” R. says.

“willkommen to the club,” i tell her, although for some reason my back doesn’t really hurt.

someone orders a beer and then changes their mind after the bottle was already opened.

“it’s yours if you want it,” R. says. “your shift is over anyway.”

and i stay. i sit at the bar as if i don’t really work there. i drink my beer, i talk to R. while she puts the new napkins on tables, makes sure everyone from the wedding paid what they had to and lets me ask her my questions. i pay for another beer, taking money from my fresh salary. R. rolls her eyes at that but allows me to pay anyway. she’s not a boss anymore. just… a friend. i tell her i don’t wanna go home.

“i can see that,” she laughs. “do you have friends here in town?” she asks.

i look at the bottom of my glass.

“no,” i say. there’s a lady on our street i sometimes walk our dogs together with. she’s as old as my mother. i always forget the names of her three kids although they’re all around my age. i wonder if i should mention her. “i have friends in other places. you know. not here.”

“i can be your friend here,” she says, smiling.

i feel like it’s the happiest day of my life. i’m also a little drunk on schwarzbier. even if my back would hurt i wouldn’t have noticed.

“if you need someone as me as a friend,” i say, “then. yeah. sure. uh. why not.”

we talk some more. the beer tests my language skills. i tell her i want a new tattoo. she says she got the first one when she was sixteen and it was a horrible butterfly.

“what is your favourite colour?” i finally ask.

she looks really baffled at that, then pulls out her phone. “i guess it’s red,” she says, showing me some of photos from her instagram where she’s younger than me now and is dressed up in red. “see, it looks good on me,” and she’s right. “but white is also good. and pink. and maybe purple. not black though. with my black hair, it doesn’t look good at all.”

we’re both dressed in black for work.

i come to the conclusion that colours are the least important thing in the world to her. that’s okay. i think about all the years i spent trying to make colours work. i wanna say something, but end up saying nothing.

she turns the lights off and locks the restaurant up. we spend a couple minutes walking in the same direction to our houses. i tell her about the name my friends from other places are calling me. i don’t tell her why it’s different from the one she saw on my id card. i’m not that drunk. she says she’s gonna use it from now on. she kisses my cheek before we part. i was at school the last time someone did that.

i go home. i sit at my workplace. i answer to the email of the person that wants me to draw an artwork for them from a new phone i spent enormous amount of money on. for a second i wonder if i should still tell them i’m an imposter and my career will be over by the morning when i wake up sober.

i think about the ten glasses i broke, then let myself forget about them. i tell myself to shut up and stop being dramatic.

i draw.

29/02/2024

#martyfive text #text post #text #diary

186 notes · View notes

potentialguybodyswaps · 9 months

Text

Cum Locked Into a Marine:

Are you in the military but feel like you joined the wrong branch? well there’s a way to swap branches, only catch, you have to swap bodies with someone in that branch and live their life, you can always swap back but only after both parties have finished their contract, so if you have 1 year left on yours, and you decided to swap with a fresh boot, you gotta finish the rest of their contract

Not many people wanna swap with a guy fresh out of boot camp but I did.

I’ve spent a year in the navy and didn’t like it one bit, when I joined I was hoping to join a brotherhood but the comrodery wasn’t there , when I was in A school, the base I was at for training was actually a joint base with the army, navy, Air Force and marines

Something that always upsetted me is when ever we’d see the marines, they were fine as fuck, for no reason, hands down the best looking fucking branch, no homo.

Even when I got to my ship and did a deployment with the marines onboard, they always looked hot and way fitter, if I would have join them instead of the navy, I’d definitely have abs but a lot of the navy struggles to stay within height and weight regulations

So I decided I wanted to swap with a marine, I made an account for the Body Exchange Program (or B.E.P. For short) and went to the subsection for military swaps and clicked on the marine branch to see what bodies were available

One thing I loved about the B.E.P. Is while the swaps are basically contracts and ment to last for the agreed time, they’re a couple ways to get out of that aswell… The B.E.P. Isn’t actually ment for long term swaps, so the only real way to do so is by breaking the TOS (terms of servicing). if both parties end up ejaculating while swaped, they end up locked in each others bodies

A lot of them had high standards in order to swap with them but I did find one Private named Matt Cummings. his profile says he’s only been out of boot camp for a week now and hates it, willing to swap with anyone from any branch as long as their not old.

I’ve only done 1 out of my 5 years so it didn’t bother me basically losing a year and having to restart a 5 year contract, especially if it ment I got to look hot as fuck and be a marine

Luckily I was only about 3 years older so I sent a request and after a little talking he agreed saying “I’d love to be in the navy and see more countries than just being deployed and stuck in 1”

Since we were in the same time zone this would actually be somewhat easy, we just set the time to swap to 3 A.M. when we’re both sleeping, and since we both actually had the next couple days off, it’d give us time to adapt and try to figure out our new lives

He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this, promising it’s not like how I think it is. And I told him yes I’m sure…

Unfortunately he was one of the few profiles on here that didn’t have a profile pic so I was a bit worried about walking into this blind, but checking out the basic stats on his profile made me a bit more confident, 5’10 and 140. At the very minimum I might lose like 2 inches of height but atleast I lose about 40 pounds of weight also haha

I woke up the next day in a bed that didn’t belong to me and a dorm room that didn’t look familiar to me. Needing to piss I flung the blanket off me and saw that I was in nothing but my underwear, I rushed to the head (bathroom in military talk) and lowered them to piss and was kinda shocked, nothing too special about the dick, I mean about the same size as my actual body, but maybe a bit longer, ok, more than a little, I had to be atleast 3 and a half inches soft now, bro probably had like atleast 2 inches on me hard, I don’t know yet, so I’ll assume im about 6.5 or 7 inches hard maybe more now. What had me shocked tho was that I’m now uncircumcised! This is awesome man! I always wanted to be uncut. I just woke up and I’m glad this guy wanted to swap, definitely lucked out.

After I got done pissing and shooked my dick, I went to the sink to drink some water straight from the facet, after I got done drinking I stood up water dripping down my face onto my chest and onto my thin 6pack… if you could even call these abs, I’m not sure, maybe inbetween toned and abs status. Finally taking the chance to look in the mirror, I believe I lucked out, this guy seems to be one of the finer looking ones

While admiring my new self in the mirror I started to get hard and decided to check out the goods, pulling my underwear down my initial assessment seemed to be right, definitely bigger than my original body, so definitely atleast 7 inches. I decided to save playing with myself for later, hate to be a cliche and immediately go to touching myself after a swap, I’ll save it for later when I decide to act like a true marine and go get day drunk!

I tried finding some clean clothes but everything that wasn’t a uniform item was kinda just thrown onto the floor so I don’t know which piles are clean and which are not… I decided to take from the pile that smelled the lest like B.O. and get dressed

Once dressed I grabbed a backpack I saw laying around and left the onbase housing and found a store that happened to sell some IPA’s in there. I got a 6 pack and headed back to my room. on the way to the store and on the way back I was getting looks from everyone like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be, can’t be the alcohol can it? I mean no way, I tucked it into my bag. I mean, ya bro didn’t check the back of my CAT card to see my date of birth, so it’s technically underage drinking, but no one knows I have beer in my backpack nor does that explain the looks I was getting on the way to the store in the first place

I shrugged it off and just went back inside to my room. Once in I started drinking right away after I found some good shows to watch on this guys phone, I don’t know his password but the finger ID works, I’ll have to message him and ask him for the code later

It was taking me longer than usual to finish these due to not liking the taste anymore, and they were fucking me up more than usual making me a bit nauseous, I guess it makes since, this Matt guy has only been in for a week, probably didn’t have a taste for alcohol yet, not to mention different tastebuds in general, dam that sucks, this was one of my favorite brands too!

It took me almost 3 hours but I was finally on the last one, on a scale of like 1-10 I was probably a 6 on the drunk scale, trying not to throw up, which is ironic sense I use to black out and wake up never throwing up once throughout the night

When I get drunk I like to start cleaning or working out drunk, makes everything a bit more fun, I decided to do laundry, sense I can’t tell what’s clean and what’s not, I decided to just wash everything on the floor

Once I put everything in the washer I had a thought, technically I don’t know if the clothes I put on today were clean or not, and after spending some time in them today, technically they are dirty “fuck it” I said outloud and stripped completely naked tossing my clothes into the washer too before starting it

I went back and sat on the couch buck ass naked, it always felt weird walking around naked, so the fact that I’m doing it now in a slimmer body, balls swinging? Was kinda erotic, I started to get hard but the hornyness turned into fear when I herd a knock at the door

I remained still hoping they’d just go away, but then herd the sliding of the lock and the door open

“Aye Private FuckFace, I gotta talk to you. A sergeant and 2 corporals came in with him and closed the door behind them. For some reason I forgot that I was totally nude and thought it’d be a good idea to just start playin a movie again and pretend like I didn’t hear them

They walked around the corner into the living room to see me naked on the couch making them freeze and recalculate for a few seconds

I tried to not look up at them and continue watching my phone

“Well what do we have here” the sergeant said walking up to me

“Uh, uh, nothing much sergeant, just watchin a movie, you?”

“Me? What do I have? Let’s see, I’m given the task of coming to scald you for going out in public today and not shaving, what is this? Like my 3rd time telling you in the last week since you’ve been here that you have to shave EVERY DAY. And now I have YOU sitting on the couch, buck ass naked with beer cans on the table” he yelled knocking my partially full can over

“So that’s what we’re doing now? Underage drinking in base housing, not shaving. Sitting in the couch naked, legs open, not even trying to cover yourself, you know I told you if you kept fucking up I was gonna cum on your fucking face Private Cummings, I wasnt joking” he said unbuckling his belt

It didn’t register with me the first time, but it did the second, I’m so fucked up right now that I totally forgot that I was nude, fuck. Wait did he just say he was gonna fuck my face!?

I went to get up off the couch but he pushed me hard when I got half way up, sending me back on the couch.

“Now you know the rules to this, you can try to get out of this but I doubt you’ll be able too” he said nodding to the two corporals as he pulled his 5 inch hard dick out

I went to get up a second time but the corporals went behind the couch, each grabbing an arm and holding it back so I can’t go anywhere

“Suck” he said dick inches away from my mouth

“Fuck that” I screamed trying to spit on his dick as a sign of disrespect

Due to my slow reaction time the moment I tried to build up saliva and spit out on his dick, he just Jammed it in my mouth the second I opened it

I didn’t dare move, I’m not gonna fuck him up by hitting his dick but I’m not sucking it ether

I quit trying to fight to get up and just fell back into the couch more trying to get the dick to come back out my mouth

“Private FuckFace you are to suck my dick until I cum in your mouth, do you understand? That’s an order soldier” the sergeant said yelling at me

The moment he said “that’s an order” it’s like the combination of my boot camp instincts and this Cummings guy’s kicked in and I just quit resisting giving in and sucking his dick

Like a good soldier does, I gave it my all trying to do a good job and I suppose I did cause he yelled “I’m about to cum” I sped up a bit just so I can be done with this gay shit, the moment he started to blow his load in my mouth I quit sucking, but he wouldn’t pull out

I looked up to see my sergeant looking down on me, saying “you know the rules, now swallow, Private”

The moment I swallowed my sergeant nodded again and the corporals finally let go, they came back around the couch laughing

“Oh my god sergeant did he actually do it? Haha” one of them said laughing

“Yep, he swallowed it, which by Marine Social Code, means you, private fuck face, are officially my bitch now and have to do whatever I say whenever I say it” the sergeant said with a smile

“Bro what the fuck is wrong with y’all, fuck that I’m not nobodies bitch, you just mad a private has a bigger dick then you dude” I said standing up

“Private I told you, you know the rules, if anyone is able to take you by force and make you swallow their cum, your their bitch now, you could have gotten out of the hold we had you in, you just decided to say fuck your training, I feel like becoming a bitch all of a sudden right? Just accept it for what it is and do what I say like a good little bitch”

One of the corporals decided to tap the sergeant and ask him a question

“So uh, sense he’s your bitch now, do we get any sort of compensation for helping you? I mean he did put up a fight in the beginning and make us put some effort into holding him down, for someone that decided to become a bitch, he should have known he shouldn’t fight with his superiors” one of them said

The sergeant smiled and said “perhaps… Private go ahead and suck these two’s dicks aswell, take as much time as you’d like”

“No dude what the fuck is your problem I’m not doing that gay shit I’m a marine” I said angrily

“Private, you will suck these two men’s dick, that’s an order” the sergeant said

Once again it was like something in me was triggered and I proceeded to get down on my knees to make it easier for them to stick it in.

“ and you might be a marine but your a fresh marine, ment to be made into whatever the fuck we want you to be, if we want you to be the bottom bitch of the whole platoon, guess what your doing? Suckin dick just like we want you too” the sergeant said as I was giving one of the corporal the works

Both the corporals were bigger than the sergeant, so my only assuming is that the sergeant likes to get drunk with his power and assert it whenever he can, like now

After I got done blowing the first corporal, just like the sergeant did… he ordered me to swallow after cumming in my mouth. laughing, he pulled out and let the 2nd corporal take his turn

This time I didn’t need any instructions and just knew to swallow that way his dick come out my mouth faster, I hated every second of this, I thought the marine corps was the straight bad ass branch but I guess their even worse than the navy somehow

As I swallowed the 2nd corporal’s load I moved my eyes and glanced over at sergeant to see a pissed off expression

“What sergeant, I’m just doing what you told me to do” I said feeling the urge to please my superior officers

“I told you to suck their dicks, I didn’t necessarily say to let them cum in your mouth and swallow it, did i” he said rubbing his hands against the sides of the his temple

“Your point” i asked

“My point is now that you swallowed their cum, your all of our’s bitch now…. man you must really love this don’t you? It’s ok private, I knew from the beginning you must be a little gay from our first encounter, with that being said, we’ll round up the rest of the platoon and make sure you have plenty of cum to swallow and dicks to suck by the end of the week, I’m sure the rest of the guys will be ecstatic to find out they can get free blowjobs whenever they want and not have to go out into town to get it. Good work private” he said now smirking a little bit

“Ok I’ll leave the rest to you two” sergeant said and then walked out

Once the sergeant walked out the corporals both started dying laughing

“Hold up just stay right there private, ima make a call to the E-4 Mafia and get you some more dicks to suck tonight” one of them said pulling out their phone and started reading aloud the text he was sending to a group chat

“E-4 mafia, new platoon bitch is with me right now, drunk as fuck, giving out free blowjobs and swallowing, hit me up if you’d like to get in on this day one, goal is to get him to swallow every guy in the platoon by the end of the week” and send he said

Guys, come on now, this isn’t cool, y’all are gonna make me get a STD or something, you really want that? I said panicking

“Really only a problem for the ones after/if you get one private, but I think most would say it’d be a fair trade off in the hopes of having a platoon wide bitch, it’s gonna be a long 4 years for you dude haha” he said sitting down on the couch keeping an eye on me to make sure I don’t escape before his buddies show up

For some reason thinking about what just happened has me getting hard, the sergeant can go kill himself for all I care, but just like my new marine body, these corporals are starting to look kinda hot

The one that send out the group chat noticed I got hard and addressed me

“You find this hot Cummings” he said with a sly smile on his face

“I got something for you private, just go ahead and close your eyes and start stroking your dick dude, slowly”

I do so, and next thing I know I hear the corporal searching his bag behind me untill he found something, I herd a bag open and he asked me

“ do you like poppers private”

“I love them! What type of popper tho? Like jalapeño poppers?” I said starting to sound excited from the sound of food, drinking on a empty stomach wasn’t my brightest idea

As I’m still stroking my uncut cock I feel the corporal grab the back of my head and go

“ no these ones” he said as he forced my face into the bag inhaling chemicals

It suddenly felt like my dick was about to explode and so I let go immediately but it was too late

My dick started to twitch for a few seconds before I shot my load all over myself

“Noo!! What the fuck was that I yelled”

What I thought you said you liked poppers? I just figured I’d help you get off since you’ll be helping a lot of guys tonight he said with that same sly smile

My whole life has been turned upside down, I was hoping if I could make it pass the next few days the B.E.P. Would swap us back knowing I never cummed, not wanting the swap to be locked in

But now I’m stuck as this private Cummings guy for sure, since the corporal wanted to mess with me and make me cum myself, locking me in this body for years to come

#edit, I’ll try to make a patreon next week where y’all can see the pictures I really want to use for these stories 😏

#body swap #bodyswap #jock #male body swap #Military #Marine Corps Gay #permanent #temporary2permanent

557 notes · View notes

chaengluva · 2 months

Text

Who Wrote This?

Regina Geogre x Fem!Reader: 1.3k words: Masterlist.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as you walked into the cafeteria, you saw your girlfriend sitting with the plastics as usual, it was Wednesday, you were wearing a pink crop top and a white skirt. As soon as you sat down next to Regina, she pulls you in for a heated kiss, that's how it went everyday. At first you didn't really understand the whole PDA thing but you got used to it after a while. She just wanted everyone to know that you belong to her.

She didn't do anything to extreme, only she could see your body, that would either be done in the closet or her bedroom. She pulled away after kissing you for awhile, Karen and Gretchen smile at them, whistle Cady just looks away, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Cady, come back to my house today, I want to give you some shoe's." Regina said, looking towards her. "Am I invited?" You ask, she rolls her eyes nodding. "Of course you are, don't ask stupid questions." You nodded in response, and headed to your class which was AP calculus, luckily, Cady was also in your class.

You were trying to write notes but you felt a tap on your shoulder, you turned around, Cady sent you a shy smile, you smiled back at her, and then went back, you could feel a small death stare of hers on you. After a long hour, the bell rang and it was time to go home. You went outside, waiting your girlfriend by the stairs. When she saw you, her face lit up, you held onto her forearm as the two of your eventually joined the others by her car, Regina opened the door for you in the passenger seat.

As she drove, she had her hand on your thigh, her touch was calming you. She pulled up to her amazing house, getting out to open the door for you and help you down. You walked into her house, looking over at Cady, remembering that it was her first time here, she looked shocked at how nice the place was. She then you towards you, making you quickly look away. Regina as about to say something but was cut off by her Mom.

You liked Regina's mom, she was really sweet and you tried to stop Regina from being men to her, but her mom didn't seem to mind. You knew if you spoke to your mom like she does, you would be grounded for months. Your thoughts were cut off by Regina's voice. Walking up to her room, you took your shoes off and fell straight on the bed. Regina smiled at you, moving your shoes to the corner of the room before sitting on the bench to take her shoes off.

"You're room is really nice." Cady told Regina, making her smirk. "I know, It used to be my parents, but I made them trade me." You got up, walking to Regina's closet to put on some cosy clothes. Something else caught your attention, It was a hot pink book, you pulled it out and walked out. "Gina, Baby. What's this?" She looked over to you, as soon as she saw what was in your hands, she smirked. "That's just something the girls and I used to do." Gretchen took the book off Regina and started to look through it.

Cady and you looked over, wondering exactly what it was. "We cut photos from the year book, and write comments." Looking trough it, seeing that they were all mean comments that they wrote about the girls in our school. You could see that Cady looked a little down, worried they would write something about her in it. Gretchen started to reassure "Oh don't worry, we only write stuff about nobodies in here, we would neve-" Regina cuts her off. "Gretchen, she gets it! go get the shoes." Gretchen looked around, confused. "She shoes we are giving Cady, Oh my god, you are literally being so annoying." Gretchen nodded, walking over to the closet grabbing them for her.

They were hot pink high heels, you saw Regina smirk as Gretchen handed them to Cady, she smiled, thanking her softly. She looked over at you, but as soon she did, Regina grabbed your chin, lifting it up, pulling you in for a heated kiss. Her hands moved to your waist, pulling your body closer to hers, pulling away, Regina looked over at Cady, smirking. "See you girls at school tomorrow, I wanna spend time with Y/n." Gretchen and Karen nod, Cady just follows them.

As soon as they leave, Regina pushes you onto the bed. "Be careful of Cady." she tells you, hovering over you. "Why?" you ask, confused. "Are you kidding? She has a huge crush on you." You only focus on Regina's eyes, so you didn't notice Cady looking your way. "But you're mine." She starts kissing your lips passionately , she then moved her lips down to kiss all over your neck, things didn't get to heated, the two you wanted to just hold each other close and stay in each others arms.

The next day at school, Cady starts trying to talk to you more, you try your best to avoid her, you don't want Regina to get mad at you, or for Cady to get the wrong idea. A few weeks past with the two of having a relationship like this, now it was October 27th. You were studying in your free period, Cady walked up to you, sitting down next to you, smiling at you before she started to talk. "Are you going to the Halloween party tonight?" You look at her, nodding then going back to her study. She smiles, "Me too." You hope that Regina doesn't walk out right now, because she won't be happy.

Regina was wearing an angel costume, she looked like a goddess, you were wearing a matching one, it was just a bit darker then hers. She had you up against the wall, kissing your lips, holding your body close to hers, she bits your lip, pulling away stretching your lip, "Do you want a drink?" She asks, you nod, she walks off to get you something to drink. As soon as she leaves, Cady walks past, she's wearing a traditional scary Halloween costume, she walks closer to you. You want to walk away but there is a wall right behind you.

She pushes you against it, kissing your lips, you try to push her off but her grip is way to strong, eventually, she pulls away. Looking over at Regina, she's pissed, she walks out of the house, you run after her. "Regina! Wait!" You try to get her attention. "Don't start! You cheated on me!" She yelled back. "No. Cady Kissed me! I would never cheat on you baby!" She sighed, pulling you in for a hug. "It's okay, I just panicked, sorry for assuming," You stay in the hug for a while, Regina then calls her mum to pick her and you up.

Once you were back at her house, you changed and washed up, you walked into the closet, changing into her clothes, you saw that the burn book had fallen down, you bent down to pick it back up, but your face dropped when you read the page.

"Y/n is a slut"

You, put it back down and walk out and see Regina removing her make up, "R-Regina..Who wrote this?" You ask her, showing the page. She looks up at you, stands up, moves into give you a hug. You push her away. "Regina! Tell me!" you exclaim, you can see in her eyes that she is staring to panic. "I'm leaving." You tell her. You left, leaving her dumbfounded and alone.

The next day in school, you walked into the bathroom, you heard people come after you but you didn't know who. "If the kiss didn't work, the comment in the burn book did, I know they have broken up by now." You hear someone say, that's when you realise that it is Cady saying that. You text Regina what you just heard. You can tell that she's mad just by her texts.

You walk out of the bathroom stall, having eye contact with Cady, her eyes went wide, she didn't know that you were in there. Regina walked in shortly after. "I never liked you Cady. Y/n didn't either, can't you pick up a fucking hint? She's mine okay?" She grabbed your hand and was about to leave, she turned around to say, "Oh and by the way, you are not sitting with us anymore."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#janis imi'ike #reneé rapp #regina george #fluff #angst #mean girls #mean girls 2024 #gxg #lesbian #wlw #cady heron #angourie rice #auli'i cravalho #i love girls #oneshot #imagine #requests open

176 notes · View notes

goddessxeffect · 9 months

Text

《 MASTERPOST: Let go and let God 》

Quotes from blog post and answers from other bloggers regarding certain topics based in the teachings of law of consciousness and non duality. This is a summary of everything I think is incredibly useful and has been for me in understanding and applying this lifestyle. Long post ahead.

Basics & Teaching

"I contain all, nothing contains me." - Nisargadatta Maharaj

This subject cannot be learned intellectually, it cannot be learned through the mind [ego] because it's perceived just behind the mind. We can use the mind to gradually undo the limitations enough so that we can get behind the mind by getting it quieter. @4dbarbie-backup

What you can point out as 'this' or 'that' cannot be yourself. Surely, you can not be 'something' else. You are nothing perceivable, or imaginable. Yet, without you there can be neither perception nor imagination. Identity or Ego is merely a pattern of events in time and space, which are also just concepts belonging to the world of ego.@4dbarbie-backup YOU are life. you are life itself. you are all. you are how this all works. "me? this body? this mind?" not the body, mind, ego or thoughts. not even the feeling, beliefs & emotions. i'm talking about Self. Infinity. God. I AM. the awareness. the one that observes all. the life force is you. you animate all of what you see. @lains-reality

Realize you are never not IT. We are actually fully realized all the time. We are fully realized Beings saying that we are not. @4dbarbie-backup There is no becoming "aware". You can't become something you already are! You keep forgetting you are not the body-mind (ego). The body-mind lacks things, the body-mind takes it's surroundings to be real. The body-mind has a very limited viewpoint, it knows what it knows, it only sees what it sees. @iamthat-iam The [body-]mind cannot intimidate the Pure Self, it can only intimidate the idea you have of who you are, your self image. what the mistake is, is that we are taking the idea of who we are as the fact of who we are.@lains-reality

Everything you see and experience is only a mental condition, a dream-like state, easy to dispel by questioning its reality. Both sleep and waking are imagined.@4dbarbie-backup Dreams are just "materializations" of whatever our consciousness is aware of while the body rests. You can touch it, you can interact with it, your senses become active when you're dreaming at times. there's even a phenomenon where people actually thought their dreams were memories or something they legitimately experienced.@piercedblunt "But I am not conscious of myself when sleeping?!" You are aware of something though, being unconscious, which manifests instantly, you are sleeping. Being unconscious is an experience, and you're doing the same thing in the waking state.@4dbarbie-backup

Let's now take a look at this so-called physical world. The apparent solid outer world is just an illusory world. We created it mentally, which is also backed up by human science. But, and that's the catch, it is not external and so the only way to control the outside world is to step out of the world. The ego IS IN the world, and not you. Both the ego and the world are IN YOU.@4dbarbie-backup

When 'you' desire something, you [Consciousness] already have it. How do you already have it? Your true self is everything, it can't desire anything if it's already being anything. Everything that your ego desires already exists within consciousness. Remember that whenever your ego tries to bring up a desire. @iamthat-iam After all, when 'you' desired in your mind, wasn't there a moment where you had it? Where you imagined what it'd be like to have it, what it'd look like or how it'd make you feel? @cheryawa It is not instantly visible to you because you identify with the body and not your pure being. No matter how much you use your mind/imagination, you are who you are regardless of the imagines playing in the head. I could think of a panda a million times, imagine what it's like being a panda a thousand more, that doesn't make me into a panda when I still know myself to be a person.@4dbarbie-backup

Here's a scale of emotions you'll go through in your journey, from bottom to top: apathy, grief, fear, hostility, anger, indifference, acceptance, freedom finally - and then unlimited, independent joy. @4dbarbie-backup It’s not an euphoric feeling either but a real feeling of knowing and with that - indifference and power. It is very calm and serene, as if nothing can disturb you. @adadisciple

I've been looking at the things I want as existing for me to experience them. When I have a desire, I experience it as something that already belongs to me because everything is coming from (within) me. @4dbarbie-backup

NON-DUALISM

"It is the Self that believes there is a person and is conscious of being IT." - Ada B.

Let's break the word down first. “Non” of course means “no” or “not.” And “dual” means “two.” So, non-dual means not two. It says there is only one. This is referring to you, awareness [or consciousness], that there is only you, [...] the only thing that exists. You are the true reality. The only purpose for awareness is to observe, to oversee, to be. Nothing more, nothing less. For example, awareness is human, it can take on a human form, but human is not awareness or defines awareness as a whole. A human is simply a temporary form, but awareness is always free to be aware of any other form @itzalizeyyy

Whatever you imagine is the same as seeing it in the physical world, because both are still being an observed experience by the awareness, and therefore both are the same, as one (imagination). @itzalizeyyy

Helpful metaphors: When you watch a movie, you know it is a movie bc you are outside of it. you are observing it. now what about the characters in the movie? they dont know its a movie bc they are not outside of it. they think they are just regular ppl and they dont see the truth, their true selfs: which is just characters in a movie. @msperfect777 The ego is like your character in the game (of life), it's already a "manifestation" so it can't manifest (just like a book can't write itself or another book). You are aware of a character you go through life with. @consciousnessbaddie

Ego Death is then the disappearance of the egoistic sense of Self. You feel that your are no longer that.You don't disappear; you don't lose anything. There's no reason to fear losing your body, or losing anything. Yet, most of us are fearful that we're going to lose our body and be nothing. That's a serious error. You could be a hundred bodies! When the idea 'I am this body' dies, the witness does not. Death is merely the idea 'I have lost my body'. What you think yourself to be before death continues to be after death. Your sense of Self survives. @4dbarbie-backup

In Non Dualism, the goal is to stop identifying with ego and realize who you are.You see there's no seperation between you and anything so that means everything you once "desired" is already who you are. You never feel the sense of desire again because of this. Any "physical materialization" that happens after will not seem like such a big deal, since it was already who they were to begin with. @iamthat-iam

"I am that, I have always been that. All is well. There are no mistakes. I am in my right place." All you have to do is realize/ know your are not the mind (= identitiy, character, ego). Robert Adams

Self-Inquiry

" To know the source as source and appearance as appearance, and oneself as the source only is self-realization " - Ada B.

The mind is doing a good job actually, because it bites you and kicks you and teases you, because if it doesnt do that, then you'll want to make this limited feel your home.@lains-reality

Every thought is a thing of limitation. Therefore when we quiet the mind, we still these limiting thoughts and this infinite Being that we are becomes self obvious to us. We have convinced ourselves over the millenniums that we are these limited bodies, and we think it takes time to let go of these concepts of limitation. But time is a thing of the ego, it's a thought. @4dbarbie-backup

Learn the art of being aware of you (awareness). [...] You must not become what you already are, as the detached witness of every thought or sensation that comes and goes. [...] The practice of self-inquiry is returning to the fact of who and what you are. @anon-i-mus

It's a kind of surrendering but to me, truthfully and honestly, it felt more like a giving up. Even if it makes you miserable, accept the person you're identified with until you no more fear it or care if you stay the same. @4dbarbie-backup

-> Questions to ask yourself

Detachment

"Transcend your desires and your fears and you will have everything." - Ada B.

As Buddha taught, the root of suffering is attachment. It is not having the emotions and thoughts [...] but resisting or supressing them, and resisting the transitory nature of life and all things. Emotions and thoughts pass. No big deal. It is holding on to them when they are just coming up to leave or pass through that causes suffering. @lains-reality You need not stop thinking. Just cease being interested. It is disinterestedness that liberates. If you say, “There's no problem,” they won't vanish because you're saying, “There's no problem.” You're mentally holding onto the problem and therefore sustaining it. Erase the problem from your mind means to know (be aware) that everything is perfect and then the problem is necessarily non-existent. Basically, let go of it, because the problem is just an illusion. @4dbarbie-backup

You then ask how to stop being "Vanessa" ? - the reason you can't stop is because it's ALL YOU THINK YOU ARE. For example: You're driving a car. "I AM" is the car. You know how to drive it because you're already driving it by being Vanessa. Vanessa is something you add to the "I AM" and not you. You can't stop being Vanessa while being Vanessa! I think that's what everyone keeps asking: Vanessa wants to be Lara, not awareness [first]. @4dbarbie-backup

To talk of re-uniting the person with the self is also not right, because there is no person, only a mental picture given a false reality by conviction. Nothing was divided and there is nothing to unite. You are That. @4dbarbie-backup Nothing can remove your being. Nothing has ever stained your being.@lains-reality You think you have to do this and that because you think you're it, and you should act from it. That is not the case. There's nothing to do except disbelieve. But disbelieving and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. @4dbarbie-backup

Detachment is not lonely. It's freedom and it's real love. Needing is selfish, it's self-centered. The self has no preference and it's because of that that it can be everything. @4dbarbie-backup

Some of you are on this path for a while but to some extent still are identified with ego and that's OK. Don't get caught up in "your" expectations of what self-realization is supposed to be like. The expectations are making you turn this into a task, when it is supposed to be effortless. Yes, we have talked about feeling peaceful once you've realized yourself, but you're going to need to drop the expectations. It's okay if ego isn't completely grasping it, ego isn't real and it isn't who you are. @iamthat-iam

Fear is an invitation to remember who you truly are. Acknowledging fear doesn't make you any less worthy of or further away from what you truly desire. Similarly, acknowledging your shadows does not dim the Light that you are. The shadows you battle against are simply the seeming absence of you. Becoming entangled in the world of shadows is simply the forgetting of your Self; and Light casts shadows that come and go only to remember itself. The truth is that Light knows no opposition or enemy. Shadows have no separate existence from Light. Your fears are made of you. @lains-reality

The more I detached from ego, the freer I was to imagine what ego wanted without interference from conflicting thoughts/thoughts that "oppose" the desire. @iamthat-iam In fact, abandon all imaginings and know yourself as you are. Self-knowledge is detachment. All craving is due to a sense of insufficiency. @4dbarbie

To anyone who also wonders "how am I still picking this ego?": how many times have you thought about tomorrow? next week? future plans? there's your answer. and the worries about "life" come from them too. "if I don't prepare for/worry about this event that'll happen, I'll have to deal with the consequences of this action" you're telling yourself you will keep waking up as this exact same ego over and over. @glitterdoll888

If you come straight from Law of Assumption or Law of Attraction please keep on reading this last section!

“The simplest answer is usually the right one!.” - Occam’s razor

I think, that what we call 'manifestation' is life itself. i do not mean life in the way that you live A life, like its happening outside of you. i mean it as: it is natural & normal to manifest, its existance itself. it is not something you have, it just is. 'manifestation' is just life itself. it's how all works & is.@lains-reality

The similarity between ND and LOA is in the fact that What you’re aware of, is. LOA’s inner self is still ego. To talk about fulfilling self means fulfilling ego. There is nothing to fulfill if you are the Self and the only one that needs to be fulfilled is an ego, you’re still catering to an ego. @adadisciple

Please, please, understand that you don't have to DO anything! You are always awareness,you will never lack anything. Please stop worrying about the "physical" world and stop trying to materialize things within it! Non Dualism isn't a "new manifestation method" to "get what you want," you are realizing you never lacked anything this whole time. @iamthat-iam

The way the sun rises up in the morning, in the same way Vanessa happens to awareness. It is natural. Do you try to make it happen? It comes by itself (because you choose it as you).@adadisciple For example "I am a body" is a thought that runs automatically ("subconscious), because we do not look at it/know it, we have just accepted we are bodies and that's why we "see" a body. @4dbarbie-backup

You just need to allow something else to happen, not try to make it so!! You cannot help being what you are: Vanessa is the absolute to you now. But if she can be TO YOU, if she happens TO YOU, who is YOU? Your Vanessa "I" runs on autopilot, she is a symbol. She has no free will. To the Self, she is only an idea. She has been conditioned and programmed to think the way she does, it’s the only way she knows how to function. And that’s fine, let her be. Just don’t pick her as you.If she were a random stranger on the street, you would have no concern about her life. If you were Lara now, where would Vanessa be in your thoughts? That is the behavior you should strive for in your thinking, dispassion, disinterest, detachment. Let the thought of being her go. Just let them BE. The way you let Vanessa be. And you let Vanessa be by thinking that’s all you are, that’s what is true. @adadisciple

If you want a "method", then the very best method of all methods is to quiet the mind to see the Being that you are. Pose the question: “Who am I?” and if other thoughts come in, ask, “To whom are these thoughts?” The answer is “To me.” “Well, who am I?” and you're back on the track, seeking to see your Self. @4dbarbie-backup I sit in the feeling while focusing on something else in the present moment, and it usually goes away. @iamthat-iam

Non Dualism does not believe in “affirming” or “persisting” because if awareness is already everything, then it does not need to affirm or persist for its desire if it already has [or IS] its own desire. @itzalizeyyy Like repetition, it keeps you in lack. Do you need to remind yourself that you are a man or a woman? That experience, that form, is already being observed, is already being aware of. You know 'your' gender. @4dbarbie-backup

The truth is, there was no "3D" or "4D" in the first place. there is no imagination VS reality. nothing is real, it has always been illusion VS illusion. If anytime you get thoughts like "why is it not here" "why don't i see it" "why hasn't it manifested yet" you are immediately identifying with your human self. [...] Relying on the human senses will always be our downfall. @iamthat-iam

If you don't have the discipline to at least cut off all this excess of knowledge of information, you'll only be making it tougher on yourself. After you do that, stick to it until you're ready to let go and rely on yourself. Until you start behaving like the teacher and one is needed no more. You create the teacher because you think someone is more knowledgeable than you. That's fine for now, but trust the teacher, listen and apply.@4dbarbie-backup

I have Psychiatrist & doctors appointments, work, still need to eat, want to commit suicide? Psychiatrist appointment. What is that for? To correct your thinking, isn't that right? Reconditioning, changing, or even eliminating patterns of the mind. Now, I'm not telling you to stop going/stop working and or eating. That would be irresponsible of me. Leave your mind alone, that is all. @4dbarbie-backup

DO NOT ACTIVELY INTERFERE in ego's life or try to stop living that life while still being very attached to it, i.e. still identifying with that ego. Let the person continue to live it's life and fulfill it's obligations like studying, but maintain the knowing that it's not who you are. @iamthat-iam

But what about random things that I wasn't even aware of before they came? It's very simple, really. You are aware of being Vanessa and with Vanessa come specific beliefs. Characters have their own beliefs like certain weather can give you a cold, certain environments have insects etc. Thoughts dominate you only because you are interested in them. By resisting evil, you merely strengthen it. If you are "I AM", it means you are not the person experiencing the 3D world/thoughts/circumstances, you never were. The problem is excessive interest, leading to self-identification. Whatever you are engrossed in you take to be real. @4dbarbie-backup

#masterpost #consciousness #law of assumption #non dualism #non duality #non-dualism #non-duality #law of consciousness #i tried addressing a lot of faq #long post #this took me way too long to make #nondualism #goddessawakening

586 notes · View notes

monster-slxt · 5 months

Note

Vampires you say? I happen to be a vampire connoisseur, some little things that have been on the brain lately - A vampire that can't stop themselves from sinking their fangs into your neck while they rail you into next week - Alternatively, a vampire who can stop themselves from biting you, they just don't. They whisper "hold still" in your ear and then bite you as hard as they can - Being a free use fuck toy/bloodbag for a covenant of vampires. They of course have to be careful not to drain you too much before your body has time to replace its blood volume, but they drink form you till your weak and unable to struggle, and then they spend all night using you like a fleshlight. They are creatures of the night afterall, they sleep all day and then have plenty of energy to use up at night. - Being a servant sent as a sacrifice to a vampire ruler, you presume you are meant to be a meal but instead they stuff your holes full of cum and you're made to join the group of other 'sacrifices' all of which are also filled to the brim

God these are all so good. Let's see if I can't combine them into something fun<3

"Really, they'll make a wonderful... servant! Very healthy, this one." It was all I could do not to shudder at my soon to be ex-employers words, offering me up as a lamb to the slaughter. The man, mysterious with sharp eyes, carefully took me in but said nothing. Instinctively I knew he wanted to watch my boss squirm.

Everyone knew the truth. Our town was practically run by a group of vampires. No one ever said it outright, but we all knew. You kept your head down, didn't get close to new comers who wouldn't last long, and everything was fine.

But everything was not fine. My boss had gotten himself into a spot of trouble. He never told me the details but it must be pretty fucking bad if he's desperate enough to offer me up on a silver platter. To call attention to himself.

"I think you might just have a deal." The monster, the head vampire if the whispers were correct, finally spoke up, "get out of my sight. You, come with me."

And just like that, i belonged to the vampire coven.

The first night had been utterly terrifying. Instead of being ripped into like I expected, the leader showed me around their manor and introduced me to the coven. Of course they fed from me that first night, but nothing more. Four mouthes latching onto me, sharp fangs piercing deep into my neck. Something about their bites left me uncomfortably warm and light headed, and I'm quickly shown to a room to recover.

Over the next few weeks my postion as blood bag is made painfully clear. All four of them are nipping at me every chance they get, and getting progressively handsier as time goes on. I get to learn their personality and preferences through these feedings.

The youngest is wild and impulsive- biting deep and harsh and almost having to be pried off of me by the others, lost in their hunger. They're the most handsy too, ice cold fingers slipping under my clothes feel far too good in my loopy post-feeding state. Another realm they need to be reigned in, no matter how hot and bothered feeding the vampires, the leader never allows anything further than heavy petting. It's honestly starting to drive me a bit insane.

The sweetest vampire has platinum blonde hair and likes to coddle me, cooing about how sweet I am and petting me while drinking my blood. They always make sure I end up somewhere soft and comfortable in the end. I think they must be getting off on taking care of me when blood loss makes me dizzy and frail.

It's still preferable to the second in command. They're outright cruel. Biting the deepest, holding me down and mocking my inability to fight back against supernatural strength. They like the hunt, following me in the shadows only to pounce when i least expect it- leaving me jumpy and paranoid.

I still don't know if I prefer them to the leader though. The leader treats me like food, nothing more. Just a pretty thing to sit on his lap and quench his thirst. He hasn't said a word to me since that first horrible night.

And so here I am, sitting on his lap as the others watch him feed from me. It's clear whatever aphrodisiac properties vampire venom have are getting to me- im hot and barely suppressing the urge to moan and grind against his thigh.

"Look, it's broken in enough isn't it? Poor things desperate." The leader detaches from my neck at that, cold eyes taking in my desperate form.

"You know, I think you're right." He says, leaning in close and nipping my ear. "I think it's finally time we showed our new pet some proper hospitality."

In an instant the others closed in, their freezing hands roaming every inch of my body. The chill felt heavenly against the heat of my own body. I was too lost in blood loss and vampire venom to have any idea what was happening, not that it would have mattered against the four of them.

#asks #monsterfucking #monster smut #dubcon #vampire #god i hope this is good its Very Late #and im Very Tired

265 notes · View notes

pinguwrites · 5 months

Note

Dark!Neil refusing to pull out when the reader needs him to due to not being on birth control.

"no please stop, we can't! . . . hehehhehHAHHHAHA "

Drabble: dark!neil refuses to pull out

pairing | dark!neil lewis x girlfriend!reader

Warnings: non-con, smut, dark!neil, forced breeding kink, sexism, implied reader co-owns gumshoe video with neil, PROCEED WITH CAUTION, DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE

Disclaimer: Watching The Detectives characters, plots, quotes, etc. do not belong to me and belong to the rightful owner(s). This is only fanfiction and this is just for fun.

A/N: you have @mrkdvidal1989 to thank for this, I took a break from another fic to get this out real quick so I could give you guys some fuel 😘. Writing about neil also reminds me of a dream I recently had where Neil spit in my mouth on a beach sooo yeah

"Fuck, Neil!"

You weren't sure what had gotten into your boyfriend today. Since morning he had been uncharacteristically handsy and needy — not that he wasn't a little pervert most days — only that it was becoming so public and obvious that you had to swat Neil's hand away and give him a warning glare just so he would quit warding of the customers, multiple times since you both arrived at Gumshoe Video.

"I had a dream," he had murmured, wrapping you up in his arms, only for his hands to slide up underneath your skirt and feel the curve of your ass, to which you had snapped at him before frantically looking around the store to see if anyone saw.

"Well," you said in response, "you can tell me about it later — Friday's are one of our busiest times!"

Neil had backed away after that, but you could still feel the longing glances he sent over to you. You almost felt bad, though you knew you had to be professional at work. Besides, you relished in the idea of teasing him.

The moment you two had stepped foot inside your shared apartment he had pinned you against the wall and attacked your lips. He carried you to your bedroom, shoved you down on the mattress, grabbed some lube, and started thrusting like mad dog.

"P-please, slow down," you whimpered, the bed shaking so hard the creaks could be heard through the halls. His cock slid in and out of you at a pace Neil never used before, filling up your walls ungracefully, like you weren't his girlfriend, but a hole.

"Can't," he moaned, burying his face in your breasts. "Can't help myself when I'm around you. Just need you so bad . . . You know that dream I was telling you about?"

"Neil — just a break — "

Neil groaned, his hot breath on your neck. "I know women aren't that smart, but c'mon, it was only this afternoon."

Neil could be sexist sometimes. Your family and friends told you to avoid men like that, which was the specific reason you avoided telling them about your boyfriend's often slips. It was just — you loved Neil. You really loved him. There wasn't much else about the topic to discuss, or at least anything you wanted to admit about how problematic it really was.

"I remember," you said, breathless. "Is this what it was about? Fucking me till I pass out?"

"I bred you."

You froze, though your body was still moving due to Neil's deathly grip and the way he was shoving into you so desperately.

"N-no," you protested. "You can't now, I'm not on birth control. I don't have anymore, I ran out, the store's closed — "

" — It's not just that," Neil hissed, interrupting you. "I want a child."

This was bound to happen soon. You and Neil were well on your way to marriage, but not now, not like this. Not when you knew that you both weren't ready to raise a kid.

"You're just saying that because of the dream." You placed your hands against his chest, halfheartedly pushing him off. You didn't want this to be a struggle. You were hoping that he would understand the message and pull out, but he didn't.

Neil shook his head.

"Yes," you insisted, then you got scared. You didn't want to be the woman who only married her man because she got knocked up. What if Neil and you broke up after this? That would be even worse! These few moments of pleasure weren’t worth all the headache in the future.

Neil took your hands and pinned them above your head, pushing them into the soft, cold pillow.

"You do what I say, understand?" Neil said sternly, looking right into your eyes. "Be a good girlfriend and let me give you a child."

"No," you cried out, turning your head, your fear increasing by the second.

Neil used his free hand to grab your chin and forced you to look at him. He had never been this forceful, this violent before.

"Stop being so goddamn stubborn," he spat. "You're gonna have my child wether you like it or not."

He wiped away your tears and buried his head his head back in your breasts, muttering, "Stupid bitch."

Taglist:

@henrywintersdearestgirl @shroombloom-rry @meetmeatyourworst @nela-cutie @madnessandobsession @slut4thebroken @qqquartz7 @mrkdvidal1989

#neil lewis #neil lewis x reader #neil lewis x you #neil lewis x y/n #watching the detectives #cillian murphy #fanfiction #pinguwrites #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #kinktober masterlist

244 notes · View notes

unangelic-thoughts · 4 months

Text

Forgive me...I want you. (Joel Miller x AFAB!Reader)

Summary: After a drunken mistake where you expose yourself to your aunt's boyfriend, you unknowingly start something between you beyond your wildest dreams…

Warnings: NSFW smut 18+, infidelity, age gap, masturbating while being watched, phone sex (sorta?? but more like window sex??)

Word Count: 3k

Author’s note: A specific part in this is loosely inspired by taylor swift's 'you belong with me' scene where they see each other through their bedroom windows…hehe…;)

Reblogs and interactions are most appreciated <333

I walk as quietly as I can up the stairs of the house I currently live in with my parents so as to not wake them at one thirty in the morning. Although I'm in my mid twenties and would love nothing more but to have my own place, rent is ridiculously expensive and I'd rather save up for as long as I can. Thankfully for me, I get along with them both and we respect each other's privacy - so it works.

I shut the door to my bedroom quietly, extending my hand to the wall beside me to switch the light on. I take my cross-body bag off over my head and throw it on my bed with a sigh. Running my hands through my hair, I think back to today's unfortunate events. From deciding to surprise my girlfriend on our six month anniversary, to catching her in bed with my best friend, to going from bar to bar with my sweet Angel of a cousin to try and forget it all; I am completely and utterly emotionally and physically exhausted.

The makeup I put on earlier today is patchy and smudged but I feel too numb to care. Walking into my on-suite bathroom, I stare at myself in the mirror while my arms rest on either side of the sink. Black streaks of mascara cover my cheeks from where I'd been crying. I take a deep breath, grabbing a makeup wipe and take it all off.

Once I'm done with skincare, I walk back into my bedroom and pick out a clean pair of undies and oversized tee from my closet, setting them out at the end of my bed. I begin stripping from my clothes, starting with my top, then my skirt and tights. I stand up straight, my hands reaching behind my back to take my bra off when I lock eyes with Joel and I freeze.

Joel is my next door neighbour. He is also my dad's sister's husband. In my current messy state, I completely forgot to pull my curtains shut and that Joel's office literally faces my bedroom. In my defence, I wasn't expecting him to be up this late.

The initial state of shock begins to subside but neither of us has attempted to look away first. I'm reminded of the very innocent crush I've had on him since the day my aunt introduced us to him five years ago. Of course, I knew it was futile - considering the whole Joel-is-now-technically-my-uncle thing as well as the age gap thing. I never let myself think about it too seriously except for the times late at night whenever I've struggled to fall asleep. Thoughts of him laying on top of me, kissing down my neck while his hands caress my body intrude my mind more often than I'd like to admit and I feel so guilty, but I can't help it.

It feels like I've been standing there half-naked in front of my window for hours when in reality it's only been a second or two. I spot my dressing gown draped over my swivel chair in the corner of my eye and I quickly grab it to cover myself as best as I can.

When I look back at him, his eyes have fallen to the laptop in front of him and I instantly feel the loss of his intense stare. A pang of disappointment hits me, missing the feel of his eyes on me and the way it ignited a fire in my lower belly.

Desperate to get his attention, I loosen the grip I have on my dressing gown and let it fall in front me, exposing me once more. His dark brown eyes instantly meet mine again and it makes my insides flip.

I swallow down the lump in my throat, deciding to ignore the warning lights and sirens going off in my head that are telling me how terrible of an idea this is. But in this moment, I couldn't care less. I just want to feel wanted.

My hands find their way to my bra for a second time and unclasp it. I hold the cups of my bra against my breasts, a moment of hesitation washing over me but I shake that feeling away as I shake off my bra.

Joel goes very still and it feels good to know I'm having an effect on him, so I continue. My hands drop to my panties, my thumbs hooking on either side as I slowly slide them down my legs and step out of them.

I feel so empowered and in full control of the situation, which is exactly what I need right now. I turn around, grabbing my clean undies and slipping them on followed by my oversized tee. I walk to my window, wishing I could reach out to touch him but instead, I pull the curtains shut knowing I've already gone too far and put an end to whatever this is.

***

I've avoided Joel for two whole weeks since that night; not that it has been hard to do since he's definitely been avoiding me too. He hasn't even spared me a glance when we've passed by each other in our adjacent driveaways, oftentimes me going out and him coming home at the same time.

The anxiety of what I'd done was eating me up the first few days, worried that he'd tell my aunt about it. But the longer it's been, the more confident I feel that he's not planning on telling a soul. God, if anyone found out about my drunken mistake, it would completely destroy our family.

I've thought of countless of ways I could apologize to him but none seem good enough, worried it'll just make things more awkward; if that's even possible. Sometimes it's better to pretend like nothing ever happened and things will eventually fix by themselves with time. Yes...I just have to give it some time and it'll soon be a distant memory...

***

The chime of the doorbell distracts me from my current seated position on the sofa, one hand holding the book I've been reading and the other stroking my cat, Felix. I place the book next to me and cradle Felix in my arms like the little baby that he is and head to the door.

It's my aunt, Tess. "Hi hun, are you enjoying your weekend alone?" She extends an arm to rub Felix under his chin.

"Yeah, it's been nice having the house all to myself. Mum and dad won't be back until late Monday evening so I still have a couple of days of peace." I say, chuckling.

"That's great! Although I'm about to disturb that peace, but not for long. I promise! I just need a small favour." She cautiously smiles at me.

"As long as it doesn't involve screaming kids or maths, I'm happy to help." I respond lightheartedly.

"So, I ordered a couple of new sculptures of Athena and the delivery driver just dropped them off outside our door. He ran off before I could get the chance to ask him to help bring them in." She sighs.

"Oh my God, more Greek sculptures? You're obsessed! Don't you already have like 50? How do they all fit in the house?!" I say half-serious, half-laughing while I shake my head. For the past year, Tess has developed a fascination for Greek mythology and the house has basically turned into a museum of Ancient Greece.

"I know, I know." Tess replies, swinging her hands back and forth to dismiss my accusation. "Anyway, I've hurt my back so I can't lift anything and Joel needs another person to help him. Would you mind lending him a hand?"

"Yeah, sure." I somehow manage to say nonchalantly even though inside I'm screaming. The last thing I want to do is be near Joel but I can't tell Tess that. "I'll be out in a minute" I say, forcing a smile and nod my head as I step back into the house to slip into something more appropriate.

Once I've pulled my shit together and reassured myself that this isn't a big deal, I make the short walk over to their place. The door opens before I reach the steps, both Tess and Joel coming out at the same time. She places a quick peck on his lips before making her way to her car. "Just going to do some grocery shopping, I won't be long. And be careful with my sculptures!" She calls out as she shuts the car door after her.

I notice the silence between us immediately, fiddling my hands nervously. "Where do these need to go?" I ask as I point to the sculptures in front of me, desperate to be done with this as quickly as possible.

Joel doesn't hold my gaze however, and it makes me think that what happened is still bothering him. "One in the living room and one in the bedroom."

Once we've figured out how to carry the first one, we manage to place it in the living room with relative ease. The second one however is much trickier, needing to be carried all the way to the upstairs bedroom. I can feel myself building up a sweat but I try my best to keep my breathing steady. Once we reach the room, we set it down in its new spot. Not even a second later and I trip over my own foot, falling towards the direction of the sculpture. Joel is there before I know it, one hand holding Athena and the other steadying me. The feel of his arm around me feels different to any other time we've hugged, I notice.

"That was close." He says, pulling back once I've got both feet on the ground.

"It was. Thank you. Tess would kill me if anything happened to it." I exhale, widening my eyes in horror at the thought of breaking the sculpture.

"And I'd be right there with you too. She can be a scary woman when she wants to be." He jokes, an uneasy smile on his face.

"I'm sorry." I blurt out as I fix my gaze on the sculpture rather than Joel.

"Don't worry about it, nothin' broke so we get to live another day." He shrugs his shoulders as his hands rest on his hips and laughs.

"Not about that...I'm sorry about what happened that night. I was drunk and it was wrong of me." I find myself saying before I can stop myself, the guilt finally getting to me.

The grin on his face immediately drops and I brace myself for what he has to say.

"It was a fucked up thing to do and it's best that we forget about it." He says, his tone razor sharp.

"I know and for that, I sincerely apologize." His words sting even though I know they shouldn't. I mean, he didn't look away either. It can't just be all on me, he could've easily left. He had plenty of opportunity to do so.

"You put me in a really uncomfortable position. What would Tess say if she found out? What would your parents think?" His brows are furrowed together in anger and I regret ever bringing it up.

"I-I wasn't in a good place mentally and I definitely wasn't sober but I don't think it's fair to put all the blame on me." I defend, shaking my head.

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "And who should share the blame? Me?"

It's my turn to furrow my brows, not liking where this conversation is going. "Well, yeah. You clearly didn't dislike what you saw. You could've left at any time."

"I think you should leave." He responds firmly, crossing his arms.

"You don't have to tell me twice." I scowl. Turning on my heal, I strut out of the room and slam the door shut behind me. Regret fills my chest, not for my drunken striptease, but for my stupid attempt at apologising to that asshole.

*** He tries to apologise to me twice this week but I blank him both times. He tells me that Tess noticed something has been off with us and confronted him about it. He told her it's because he yelled at me when I almost broke one of her statues and now I'm mad at him. That's the only reason he wants to apologise, so that everything seems normal in front of everyone else; not because he's genuinely sorry. So no, I'm not ready to forgive him that easily.

***

I'm having one of those late night closet clear outs, deciding whether my denim midi skirt is staying in the keep pile or the donation pile when my phone rings.

My breath hitches as the name of last person I thought would be calling me right now pops up on the screen. At first I think it might be a mistake, but as it rings for the fourth time, I have to decide whether to answer or ignore it.

He's never called me this late before and the curiosity takes over, so I swipe the green button on the screen and put the phone to my ear.

"Joel?" I ask hesitantly, even though I know it's him calling.

"Can we talk?" His voice low on the other end of the line.

"I'm busy right now." I reply, finally tossing the skirt I've been holding to the keep pile.

"No, you're not. I can literally see you in your bedroom." With that, I turn around and look up. Lo and behold, Joel is standing in front of his office's french doors and he's looking right at me.

"What do you want?" I ask, my heartbeat increasing tenfold.

I watch as his hand trails up his shirt, his fingers starting to unbutton it from the top.

"Tell me to stop at anytime, and I will." He whispers as I stand there completely dumbfounded.

Once his shirt is unbuttoned, he shrugs it off his shoulders, letting it fall on the floor behind him. It exposes his soft chest and belly, and I can't take my eyes off of him.

His hands move on to his belt, swiftly removing it from his jeans and popping open the button. He stops just before he pulls his zipper down and I feel a pang of disappointment until I hear his voice once more.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asks simply, as if he hasn't just asked me such an incongruous question.

I shake my head from side to side ever so slightly, it's barely noticeable.

"I need you to use your words darlin'" He's looking at me intently and it makes me feel lightheaded.

I don't want to say it out loud but if I-

"Don't. Don't stop." I surprise myself at how sure I sound, not realising how badly I've wanted this since I exposed myself to him until this very moment.

I notice his chest contract as he exhales in relief; Like he was hoping I'd want this just as much as he does.

He continues then, removing his jeans completely and takes a seat on the chair behind him while still facing me.

"Your turn." It takes me a minute to process what he's saying. He wants to see me naked. Again. Part of me questions whether this is a prank but the part of me that has secretely wanted to do this since forever decides to push the doubts aside.

I hesitate only for a second before I remember that I've done this before and he's already seen my exposed body, and then I strip down to my underwear - just like he has.

His hand reaches inside his boxers and he begins to stroke himself. My panties are soaked within seconds. His breathing becomes shallow as he increases the speed of his hand on his member. My hand is on my breast, squeezing it hard as my thumb and index finger stroke my nipple.

"Touch yourself." He orders and I immediately oblige, my hand gliding from my breast to my soft tummy and finally underneath my panties. I hiss as my fingers touch my bundle of nerves, making circular motions. I'm already so wet at the sight in front of me that it doesn't take long for me to slide my fingers through my contracting walls. I pump my fingers with the same rhythm that he strokes his cock as I close my eyes to imagine that it's him inside of me. It feels so good and yet it's not enough, but I know that this is going to be as good as it's ever going to get. This won't ever happen again. I shake those thoughts away and decide to savour the present moment.

Opening up my eyes again, my gaze is back on Joel. His mouth is parted lightly and his eyes are half shut as his head rests on the back of his chair. His movements under his boxers become more frantic and I know he's close. It drives me to go faster and I yelp as I unexpectedly hit a sweet spot, "Fuck!"

"Keep going baby." He urges me on as he grunts in pleasure. My eyes shut tightly and I bite my lower lip, fastening my pace which causes squelching sounds from my dripping pussy.

"Atta girl." He praises, seemingly satisfied by the sounds travelling through the phone.

I whimper in pleasure as I feel the orgasm build inside of me. I stare back at Joel who lets out a "Fuck" at the same moment that I do. We both come apart together, moaning and whimpering in unison; creating a sweet melody of pleasure.

I never, in a million years, thought that I would ever get the chance to see and hear him coming undone but it's the most mesmerizing thing I've ever witnessed.

"Am I forgiven?" He asks once his breathing has returned to normal.

"I think you already know the answer to that." I say, as a smile creeps up on my damp face.

--------

Thank you for reading! I'd love it if you let me know your throughts <3 (Uuumm personally, I would jump straight through that goddamn window and onto his lap...fuckkkk)

Lots of love, Elki xoxo

197 notes · View notes

mamibaddie · 2 years

Text

18+ only!! Contains smut. Minors DNI or you will be blocked.

Perv!Boyfriend!Eddie installing a mirror right in front of his bed. You’re a bit curious as to why do you ask. He says he wants to be able to see you from all angles while he fucks you. And that’s exactly what he does. You’re straddling his lap, riding him. He’s sat on his bed, meeting you half way. He’s sucking and tugging on your nipples. After that he moves his head to look over your shoulder. He places his feet on the ground for better leverage. He starts pounding into you. He smacks your ass and grabs both sides, spreading you wide open so he can see everything. He loves the view he gets of his heavy balls hitting your tight hole over and over. Eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head.

Perv!Boyfriend!Eddie making you a spooky basket. It has everything. From cute Halloween socks, to baking kits, to some good scary movies. At the bottom you feel something big. You pull it out and furrow your eyebrows in confusion before you ask him why he added a Ghostface mask at the bottom of your spooky basket. “I wanted it to be a surprise.” He moves closer to you and moves the hair away from your ear. “I’ve seen the look in your eye whenever Ghostface comes on screen. What do ya say? Wanna make our own scary movie?”

Working out with Perv!Boyfriend!Eddie and he’s so distracted by your body. He loves the way you look in your gym attire. Especially those certain pairs of shorts that makes your ass look good. He walks up to you, touching your shoulder all the way down to your lower back. He whispers in your ear, “I think it’s time for us to go.” As he leans his hips towards your ass, you feel his hard-on. “We can continue working on our cardio at home.”

Perv!Boyfriend!Eddie taking you on a late night picnic at Lover’s Lake only for you two to go skinny dipping. Since no one is out there at the time of night you two go, you also decide to fuck in the water.

Going back to spooky season with Perv!Boyfriend!Eddie. It’s kinda been a fantasy of his to fuck in an old abandoned house. There’s one on the outskirts of Hawkins that used to belong to a farmer. He brings everything. Candles, lube, toys, and some blankets. He wants to try to be romantic but he’s been dreaming about this for so long that he can barely wait.

Perv!Boyfriend!Eddie with a corruption kink. Eddie was the first guy you lost your virginity to. Of course, you fooled around with others but that wasn’t anything serious. Once he found out you’re pure, he was shocked but all his dirty thoughts went straight to his dick. He did everything you could possibly think of to make sure you were wet enough and loose enough. He ate you out while fingering you, spat on your clit, and made you cum three times before he put the tip in. First he’d fuck you slow and passionate before your warmth and wetness called to him like a siren. He got so caught up in the feel of you that he started going rough and fast. But you loved it. “W-why is this considered b-bad?” You whined while letting out a whimper. Eddie turned from the inside of your neck and looked at you. “What do you mean babydoll?” “This. Sex. Why is it considered bad before marriage?” He moaned. He shouldn’t be so turned on by this but he felt his dick get impossibly hard by that question. “Why is this a sin if it feels so g-good?”

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #perv!boyfriend!eddie #perv eddie #perv!eddie #perv!eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x black!reader #eddie the freak munson #eddie munson x female reader

2K notes · View notes

mustainegf · 7 days

Note

Can you write something about james and the reader being both in Metallica and go on tour and they get put in the same room and it only has one bed and you know the rest 😉😉😉😉

I ADDED SOME FLUFFY BUILDUP I HOPE THATS OKAY!!!

Stepping into the dimly lit hotel room, the hum of the city outside faded into the background, replaced by the soft glow of bedside lamps.

My heart pounded in my chest, not from the day's workload or the technical challenges I'd faced as the band's sound director, but from the unexpected situation I found myself in.

Due to a mix-up with the room assignments, I was sharing this intimate space with James, the band's charismatic lead singer and rhythm guitarist.

I had always admired James from afar, not just for his undeniable talent that captivated audiences night after night, but also for the genuine kindness and humility he displayed offstage.

There was something about his voice, his presence, that had always drawn me in, stirring feelings I had often dismissed as mere infatuation. But now, faced with the reality of being forced to share a bed with him, those feelings resurfaced with a newfound intensity.

As I unpacked my belongings, trying to maintain a sense of normalcy amidst the unexpected situation, I couldn't help but wonder how this would change our dynamic.

Would the close quarters bring us closer together, or would it highlight the professional boundaries that had always defined our relationship? I found myself torn between the excitement of being in such close proximity to someone I had admired for so long and the apprehension of navigating the complexities of our newfound living arrangement.

I heard the door open, following with a gentle shut. "Hey," James greeted me, a tinge of awkwardness settling in the air.

"Um. hey." I tried to remain composed, but I could feel the heat creeping up my neck as I avoided eye contact, struggling to find the right words.

I nodded, trying not to let my cheeks go red. I was already wearing the clothes I planned to sleep in; baggy sweats and a tight lacy tank top which seemed to draw in his attention.

I slipped into bed, the thin cool blanket tickling my skin. I could almost feel James' eyes on my figure.

James cleared his throat and I could hear him shuffling around, probably getting himself ready to sleep.

He then laid down next to me. I felt the mattress dip, and so did my heart, feeling his warmth radiate to my skin. We were both silent for what felt like an eternity, neither one of us making the slightest movement.

I was so cold in my tank, shivering slightly. I was too nervous to get up.

"You okay?" He asked. My stomach dipped at the sound of his low voice. I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine.

Just cold."

James cleared his throat again as I shifted to face him, closing my eyes so he didn't think I was watching him.

I don't know why I was so paranoid. It wasn't like we hadn't been friends for years. Sure, there was a little bit of attraction between us, but I was a grown woman who knew how to keep her cool. Me and James had maybe had under 10 conversations with each other— that weren't work related.

And that was because I was always too busy watching him sing on stage or avoiding eye contact in the hallway. The only thing we really talked about was the occasional show or gig we went to.

"Come here then, you know. if you're cold," James oftered, sounding hesitant. My eyes shot open in confusion, taking in the sight of James lying shirtless next to me. His body was highlighted by the dim blue moonlight, his eyes dark pools of understanding waters.

My heart skipped a beat. I never thought I'd ever be in bed with James, much less in this position. I never thought I'd ever be in bed with anyone, period. "I don't bite," James laughed softly, pulling his arm around me and urging me to nudge closer.

I scoffed, feeling defeated. And so, with a racing heart, I allowed for his arm to fully wrap my body and pull me to his warm side. I nervously let my head rest on his shoulder, my hand resting dormant on his chest.

With each passing moment, the silence grew heavier until the familiar sound of his heartbeat became the background music to my thoughts.

How strange, to lie here in bed with him after all these years.

"Your heart is going kinda fast," James whispered, his words hanging in the air above me.

I wasn't too sure what to say, I knew he was right.

"It's nothing," I mumbled, kicking myself for even saying anything, it sounded stupid. He chuckled softly.

"Is it me?" James asked slowly, running his hand down my back.

"No, no, I just." I trailed off, still unsure of how to articulate myself without sounding like an idiot.

I sat up, propping myself up on my elbow so I could peer down at him. The precious look on his face was a mix of care and vulnerability, complete trust. Somehow.

I felt his eyes on me, studying my every feature. I let out a deep breath.

James curled his fingers to fold my hair behind my ear, those perfect eyes of his still analyzing me.

I couldn't control what I was doing, I was being fueled purely by passion. I Leaned down softly, letting my lips rest over his for a second or two before pulling away. The kiss was gentle, soft, something so full of love.

I was so intoxicated, my heart was racing, and my body was on fire. I wanted more, but I was afraid to ask. I was afraid to want more.

We stared at each other as we took in what had just happened.

"Are you sure?" He eventually whispered out, his voice was all I needed to hear for my heart to calm.

"Yes." I answered. "I am."

I found myself smiling for the first time in a long time. "Then kiss me again," James said, his voice soft and commanding. I did. This time, it was longer, wetter, and I was lost in his kiss.

All I could taste was him, and feel was his touch.

When we finally broke apart, his hands cupped my face as he peered at me with need. "I've waited so long for this." He admitted quietly.

"So have I," I smiled, my hand sticking resting on his chest.

"C'mere.." he barked quietly, pulling my waist up to sit over his hips.

My lips devoured his in another kiss, his hands roaming over my frame.

He must've been needy, desperate even, because he was already clawing at my tank, pulling it off of me.

"Lift your arms," he ordered, and I did, not thinking twice about it. His eyes widened when he saw my breasts, and he made a low growl.

I giggled slightly, surprised that he would react like that. It hadn't occurred to me that he'd be seeing them for the very first time. Or ever.

"Jesus Christ.." he groaned, his mouth darting to the sensitive flesh.

The feeling took me by surprise, moaning at the feeling of his tongue grazing my nipple.

He was attentive and passionate. He knew what he was doing. I couldn't stop moaning, and he ate it all up. I was so intoxicated with his touch, his attention.

It was the most amazing feeling I've ever felt. After a few minutes of his worshiping, I decided it was my turn.

I moved down his body, taking my time. I knew he was enjoying every second of it. I took my time, every kiss, every stroke, every lick... I knew exactly what I was doing.

I pulled the rest of the blanket off of him, he was only in boxers.

I continued to kiss my way down, all while stroking him through his boxer shorts. He sucked in a sharp breath, almost like he was hurting himself. The tent in his boxers was sure evident, I liked knowing I had that effect on him.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you are killing me here," he muttered, his fingers intertwining with mine.

"Shh..." I hushed, wanting to make this last forever.

I wrapped my fingers around the wait band of his boxers, pulling them down slowly to reveal his erection, which stood up in attention.

"Fuuuuck," he groaned, as his head rolled back, eyes closing in ecstasy. "Mhhmm..." I hummed, taking his throbbing cock in my hand.

"Fuck! You don't even know how good you look.." James rambled on "I should probably warn you now, I'll cum if you keep that up." He winced as I brushed my thumb past his tip.

"Really?" I teased, squeezing him lightly. "Ah-Y.Yeah," he huffed in pleasure.

"Hmm," I hummed again, taking him in my mouth and swirling my tongue around the head. "Fuck!" he shouted, his grip tightening on my hair. "That feels good." He stated, as he started thrusting against my lips.

God, Iloved his cock. I didn't even know why. He tasted good, and he looked even better. I was addicted. I'd never be able to get enough. He moaned as I took him deeper. I took him all the way in, making sure to hit his sensitive spot on the underside of his shaft. He grunted, making the room shaky. His grip on my hair loosened, I Looked up to see if he was okay.

His face was so red, I could see the veins on his neck. He was close. I loved the power I held in my hands.

I bobbed my head on his length, feeling the tension build in him.

I pulled my mouth off of him, finishing him off with a few final pumps.

"FUCK!" he yelled out, coming hard, shooting his seed onto my hand. His orgasm had rocked his whole body. "Oh, fuck!" He mumbled, dropping into the mattress.

"So messy.." I purred, licking the salty cum off of my hand and his cock.

Ilicked him clean, the list in his eyes the heaviest I'd ever seen.

"You are so dirty, sweetheart." He chuckled, running his fingers through my hair.

I gave his tip a soft kiss before crawling back up to straddle his waist. "I need you to fuck me, James.." I whispered into his ear.

"Baby, anytime." He replied. With those words, my heart exploded, like a thousand fireworks going off.

I sat up, rocking my hips on his cock, which was still hard as a rock. His member slid through my wet folds, teasing me with the curve of every vein.

"J-James..." my voice shook wildly, before he slid the head inside of me.

He was big. He stretched me further than any other man. I gasped, biting down on my lip to stop myself from crying out. "I know honey.." he whispered, slipping completely into me.

We both sighed simultaneously. It was like we were meant for each other. No one else would fit in our places. "Do you want me to go slow?" he asked, when I tensed at first.

I shook my head, starting to ride him harder, setting the pace for us. "Good girl," he praised, loving how I rode him like a pro.

Our skin slapped together softly, wet and obscene sounds filling the room.

"That's it, ride this dick, so good..." James uttered, his large hands gripping my waist so tightly.

The bruises were already forming. I couldn't help but love it. I'd be sporting those marks for weeks.

"Fuck me harder," I groaned, loving the way he made me feel. I was about to fall over the edge.

"Gladly, sweetheart." He responded, bucking me hard, causing my breasts to bounce.

I threw my head back, grinding my hips harder along with his thrusts. He had found my g spot and was hitting it relentlessly.

"Yesssss," I moaned. I needed more. This wasn't nearly enough. I wanted more of him. More of everything. If only time stood still. I wished it did right then. Without a moment's notice, James flipped me over onto the mattress and pulled my leg up over his shoulder, his thrusts not pausing for even a second.

I squealed, but that just turned him on more. He pounded into me like there was no tomorrow. I'd never had sex like this before. It was intense, hot and passionate. He drove into me, knowing exactly where I needed to be hit. It was heaven. Nothing else in the world compared to this. "Come for me, sweetheart."

He demanded, reaching between us and stroking my clit. My walls contracted, and I came all over him, my juices coating him. My inner muscles tightened around his dick, sucking him in deeper.

"Mmph," I gasped. James' hips stuttered as I felt him fill me up with cum. I basked in the warmth, knowing he'd be inside of me for a good while.

James stopped moving and collapsed beside me. I felt drained, exhausted, but in the best kind of way.

While trying to catch our breaths, we glanced over, meeting the others' gaze.

I giggled, blushing at our shameless display of lust.

"Is it a good time to say I like you?" James heaved, a dorky smile at his lips.

I smiled back, my heart bursting with happiness.

"Yes, I like you too."

I chuckled under my breath, cuddling up to him as we swam in the afterglow of our love making.

69 notes · View notes

the-fiction-witch · 2 months

Text

A Visit P2

Media House Of The Dragon

Character Daemon Targaryen

Couple Daemon X Reader (Named Alyssa Targaryen. Sister of Rhaenyra and Daughter of Viserys)

Rating SMUT

Incest (Niece X Uncle)/ medieval marriage discussion/ Underage (Characters are over the age of concept but discuss times when underage)/ sexual discussion / Fingering/ nudity/ breast play/ eating out

Part One

Daemon’s mind began to shut off as the only thoughts that remained were of their passion. He felt his body growing hotter, as his breathing began to grow heavy as they continued their sensual kiss. He fell under her spell, as any semblance of composure he had had now left it entirely. His heart was thumping in his chest like never before, as the way she kissed him now began to touch every nerve in his body. His mind became hazy, as the kiss went on and on. She moaned into the kiss now, the only sound in the cold dragon stone room was the fire cracking and their kisses clacking, she shuffled to wrap her legs around his waist still sitting in his lap with her chest against hers and slowly she began to move her hips grinding herself on him with wicked desire. Every new movement she made made him feel a new level of excitement. The heat now began to increase as they kept kissing each other. Like true dragons their passion burned with the heat of dragon flames.

Daemon's thoughts became lost to pure desire now, as the way she moved her hips on his lap filled him with even more pleasure. His hands gripped her hips harshly attempting to be the one to control her movements but all he did was guide her exactly as she had planned.

She pulled back and giggled "Oohh when Father finds out he's gonna be very upset with us,"

"Let my brother Stew in rage, We belong together. Just you and me."

She happily moaned with joy as she hugged his chest, she squeezed her body against him filled him with an intoxicating sense of love. Her touch also made his desires and passions grow greater and greater, as he couldn't get enough of her physical affection. Their bodies fit together in such a natural way as well. "I love you,”

He looked down at her with a sweet look filled with pure love, Her tender words were like music to his ears, he whispered quietly in her ear so not a soul other then her would hear such words from his lips, "I love you too Alyssa."

“Will you marry me? I like you always promised?”

"I was thinking of taking you into the Gods-wood. We can get married under a heart tree like many of the old kings and queens of the north did. We can be married in the presence of the old gods and the seven and they can bless our union. Then we'll have a massive feast One that everyone in the Seven Kingdoms will talk about for many years to come."

“Much to do and plan then,”

"I will have my servants plan such an event to be the greatest the realms has ever seen. You would not have to lift a finger. My men will take care of everything." He explained as he ran his fingers over her hair, “But for now I want nothing more than to spend every waking moment with you. I want to be with you all day long and I just want to love you. Do you wish to spend some time together now? If you'd like I can carry you to my bed chambers, spend some time showing you how much I love you."

She blushed bitting her lip and she nodded, He smirked and began rise to his feet, while making sure to pick up his new love and bride in the process. He then carried her in his arms to his bed-chamber, where he would make up for all the time they had lost by being apart from each other. As he carried her His lips kept pressing against hers, as their bodies were now starting to grow closer towards each other. She felt so natural in his arms now, as if this was truly where they belonged. They could stay in this embrace forever, letting the time just slip away.

Daemon placed Alyssa down on the bed, as their bodies lay inches apart from each other. His hands began to slowly wander around her body, caressing her skin in a delicate and slow manner. His soft kisses were now filled with a deeper level of passion, as the heat in the air was only growing greater.

"much cosier than my bed in the red keep.”

His fingers now began to gently caress her face, as his kisses began to grow more and more passionate as his lust for her began to overflow in a glorious manner. She giggled her hands stroked down his body until she held his hips and shifted their weight so she could sit on his lap so she could straddle him on the bed, his hands began to grip her waist and began to shift her hips back and forth in her spot. It was like her hips were in constant motion now, shifting against him in a way that seemed to never end. Moans fell from their lips as it only grew more intense silenced only by their kisses, his fingers now began to knead her back, his hands moving in circular motions as she moaned and made noises of satisfaction.

Daemon himself felt as if she was sending him into a new state of existence, as he was filled with such euphoria.

Alyssa briefly stopped only to tug off her dress ties and slip them off her body kicking her dress off and her corset leaving her sitting on him completely naked sat over him, he was still fully clothed but that didn't stop his desires. She was far far more than the little girl he fondled while she developed in King's landing this wasn't a girl. This was a woman. His woman.

He pulled her forehead to his own and gasped against her lips as his voice was thick with desire. "I want you like never before. I desire every inch of you, as everything about you is now perfect. I want to touch, kiss, and love you all over." He demanded forcing her down on her back.

He now began to slide his hand down lower from her waist petting her mound, as his body was now pressing tightly against her own. His other hand wrapped her into his grasp, as he began to kiss her neck all over. She squirmed under him moaning for his attention, Her moans turned him on immensely. His other hand rested softly on her stomach just above her hips and mound keeping her still so her hips couldn’t squirm and he loose his pace, he began to softly moan as his hand slipped down and he mercilessly began to thrust three fingers inside her his thumb rubbed her mercilessly, Alyssa began to scream his name soaking his bed and fingers as she desperately arched her back,

He growled enjoying her like this, His fingers now rubbed in a circular motion against her at a faster pace she pulled him into a kiss making out heavily before she pulled down his neck and suddenly squealed his name at the top of her lungs arching off his bed, soaking it as she did, her body shaking as she reached her orgasm and collapsed against the bed gasping,

He watched her with a dark look in his eyes he slipped his hand away and licked it clean as he made eye contact,

"uhh... I remember the last time you did that, I don't remember it being as good as that was .." she blushed gasping hard,

“It has been a while,” he smirked, “I remember the first time… Humm you screamed like a dragon,” he growled, as he moved his hands to her breasts He began to squeeze them and fondle them,

She giggled, "do you remember sneaking into my room and doing this before? I was only a little thing then they were half the size they are now"

Daemon had to stifle a laugh "They might have been smaller back then but… I wasn’t complaining then, or now. I think it's more than fair to say you have some truly spectacular breasts, Alyssa.”

"I think it's your fault there so big"

"Is that so? So it's my fault your curves are so tempting and attractive? It's my fault your body now drives me crazy with desire? Do you really think I could stay away from those breasts now that they're so... mature?"

"Sneaking in my room every night and playing with them for an hour. I think it encouraged them to grow big for you"

"They grew well for me, as it seems they're a perfect size for me to enjoy."

"I wonder if they'll get even bigger one day, when I get pregnant," she teased,

He growled under his breath bit his lip hard at the thought about her being pregnant with his child, as her words now made him desire her even more. The thought of her breasts growing bigger while she carried his child was almost too much for him now, but he could not hold his desire back any longer. His lips suddenly came down to kiss her again. He kissed her lips before trailing off down her jaw and neck he kisses along her neck and continued to lower and lower, his lips now reaching around her breast where he began to gently kiss her there. He began to kiss her upper breast, using her moans and giggles as encouragement to continue. Her words and reactions filled him with so much satisfaction, as he began to kiss a little more vigorously and deeply. His tongue began to circle around her nipple hardening it and gently biting it, he suckled and licked flicking her nipple with his tounge before he moved to the other and did the same He would switch back and forth with that rhythm, taking his time to enjoy her. She arches her back and squeals his name for his kisses her hips bucking up off the bed in her desperation for attention,

Daemon began to kiss her even more vigorously and to rub more of her body grinding himself against her as he teased her breasts before he grabbed her thighs kissing down her stomach until his lips met her clit he kissed her, sucked on her clit, teased her labia and clit with his tounge all, while she continued to buck her hips up towards his lips, scream his name, squirm her body against his bed, He even teased her dripping cunt with his tounge.

Alyssa screamed and moaned desperately "Daemon! Please!"

Couldn't help but grin at the sound of her screams and cries, as he began to feel like he had already won. He continued as she screamed for him,

"noo! Please! No More No more No more!"

He held her thighs and hips down on the bed so she couldn’t resist him only becoming more intense teasing her to the very edge

Daemon Targaryen

Daemon chuckled at this request now. Her screams and cries of desperation were such a turn-on for him, as he was just eager to keep making her experience all this pleasure.

"Please Daemon! Enough!"

Daemon smiled at her plea, as this only made him desire her more, He began to kiss her again with renewed intensity, as he wrapped his arms around her and pushed her back hard against the bed so she was completely at his mercy, as he continued to kiss her clit all over with increased ferocity. His fingers moved to slip inside her thrusting with equal speed as he continued to passionately kiss and lick her clit.

She screamed his name loudly enough to echo through DragonStones halls, her body trembling and shaking, her head thrown back against the bed, she immediately soaked his bed completely and tears flooded down her face before she collapsed on the bed gasping for breath muttering his name over and over as she reached her second orgasm

Her screams of his name sent shivers down his spine, as her whole body shook. Daemon was now a bit overwhelmed with pleasure himself as he gradually slowed to keep her in her pleasure as long as he could, as she suddenly collapsed back onto the bed and her body went limp. He stopped, as he was left gasping and breathing heavily from watching her.

Daemon pulled back and sat over her with his cocky smile, "Tell me what you want Alyssa." He demanded,

She blushed her face red, her breasts bounced as she gasped desperately, all she did was grab him by the belt and pulled him short and fast so his hips met hers so his erection would rub against her dripping pussy.

"Right answer." He smirked pinning her arms on the bed and kissing her lips with a firey passion.

#matt smith #daemon targeryen x reader #daemon targeryan #daemon x reader #daemon #house targaryen #gameofthrones #game of thrones #game of thrones fanfiction #house of the dragon #houseofthedragon #daemon targaryen #Daemon Targeryen

78 notes · View notes

misshoneyimhome · 3 months

Note

Please please tell us that she will conduct another press conference cause she deserves all of that praise kink and beard burn. I feel he flip his shit if one of the fans gets too close to her after having so many simps on social media.

Well of course she'll conduct another press conference, babe! Did you really think we could just let it go and not have our possessive Willy have the chance to almost lose his shit 😉

Warnings; 18+ smut; oral sex (f receiving); uprotected sex;

Word count; 4.5K

・✶ ｡ﾟ

Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep I William Nylander 🖋️⚡️ [intern x willy]

It was scorching.

Never before had you felt so hot while doing your work. Yet, luckily, you were relieved today that you opted for a darker outfit, ensuring that your sweat wouldn't be too conspicuous. And nothing too revealing, either.

Ever since William's reaction the last time you appeared on camera, you'd become cautious about your wardrobe choices. It's not that William didn't appreciate your work outfits; in fact, he seemed to enjoy your skirts and fitted blouses more than anyone.

However, being your boyfriend, he wasn't thrilled about the public eye getting a glimpse of you as well. Sure, you might look alluring and beautiful for him, but the moment others laid eyes on you, he turned into a bit of a protective force.

Which became even more challenging since your relationship was also a secret.

William Nylander could only savour the view of you from across the room when you were fulfilling your duties as the MLSE intern, working for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

And you could only admire him from the sidelines, observing how he commanded the ice, put in the hard work at the weight room, and efficiently handled media availability.

It was tough not to want to give him a bit more media time whenever you conducted questionnaires with the players or lingered around during training just to watch him pursue his passion.

Yet, despite the tempting moments, both of you managed to maintain professionalism at work. After all, dealing with work pressure and showcasing your best skills were crucial for your future career.

Brad even threw in a few words that could pass as compliments – something like 'so far so good' paired with what might have seemed like a warm smile to some.

You played it off casually. The banter remained the same as before your relationship, so it didn’t really raise any eyebrows. As long as William didn't come too close with his flirty remarks, only smiles of joy graced your lips.

However, he did have a habit of leaning in and whispering sweet nothings or suggestive comments, well aware of how it made you blush entirely.

You knew he found it amusing, and despite hating the sensation of your cheeks blazing, deep down, you enjoyed his teasing. It was almost like a little naughty foreplay.

But today, there was no such thing.

Instead, you had to stay focused as you were once again given the opportunity to kick off the brief press conference before tonight's match at the UBS Arena in New York.

And you were a great mess. Despite having a go at your makeup four times and adjusting your outfit, you still felt out of place. In your opinion, you didn't even belong in front of the cameras.

Yet, as you practiced the lines Jennifer had given you, you were slowly feeling more and more confident and comfortable in your own skin.

It was going to be just fine. All you had to do was introduce tonight's players for the pre-game interviews, offer a few words about tonight's expectations, and, as always, manage the journalists. You'd been instructed to guide them on what to focus on with their questions and try to maintain order on who speaks when, well aware that the press always had their own agenda.

However, just as you were about to make an exit from the dressing room, a large body collided with yours. Why does this keep happening, you thought. And worst of all, you spilled your almost-empty cup of coffee all over your nice shirt, just minutes before you were to go on.

"Fuck," you muttered, at least following an apology from the man who'd rushed past you, bumping into your shoulder. And so, you had to turn back to the dressing room. However, the only spare shirt you had in your go-bag was a light-coloured one and knowing you hadn't exactly matched your underwear for that outfit, there was a risk it could be see-through. Normally, you'd have a jumper or cardigan to cover any transparency, but of course, today you hadn't brought one.

"Shit, shit, shit..." you mumbled again. Yet, you acknowledged it was at least the better of the worse, since a coffee stain wasn't exactly proper dress wear either.

So, as you took your place before the cameras, amidst chatting and microphones, you took a deep breath and exhaled deeply before offering a small introduction.

First, Coach Keefe would talk about tonight's strategies, how he'd spoken to players, and the encouraging words he'd shared. Then, Captain John Tavares would step up, talking about how he'd lead the team tonight, letting every player do their best and ensuring everyone supported each other and gave one another the space needed.

And finally, Rielly and Marner would offer a few words on how they'd focus on the offence and defence.

"So, if there are no more questions, I'd like to thank you all for your time," you flashed a great smile, standing tall and confident as you eyed all the individual journalists.

"Could you tell us more about how the fans are reacting to the team?" interrupted a man's voice just as you were preparing to take off.

"In what aspect?" you inquired; a bit unsure about the reason behind his question.

"How do the fans feel about the management's focus on building a stronger core with key players like Matthews, Nylander, Marner, and Rielly, rather than spreading the talent across the lines for a broader strength, relying on more players than just a handful?"

You instantly knew the topic at hand. This had been a hot discussion in recent years, especially when the team had had a few standout players and others were more average, while rival teams opted for lines with multiple strong players.

And you were also well aware that the public's response had been mixed. Some wished for the core players to leave if it meant getting more talent to diversify the team's strength. While others believed the key players were the very core strength of the team.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure if I'm the right person to comment on the team's strategic preferences..."

"He's not asking about strategies; he's asking about the fans' reactions – something you've been dealing with, right?"

Indeed, you had been actively involved in the team's social media, posting content, and monitoring comments. So, you did feel a level of confidence in responding to the questions they deliberately directed at you. And with a reassuring nod from Jennifer in the background, you decided to share your insights.

"Truthfully, the reactions have been mixed – both positive and negative. People naturally raise valid concerns about the team's performance, wondering if this approach is the best. Yet, there's a sense of trust within the team that the management knows what they're doing and has the right experience to navigate the path for the Toronto Maple Leafs."

"Have there been any instances of online backlash?"

"No, fortunately, Leafs' fans have shown tremendous support for the team, as they always do."

You felt confident in your words, letting them come straight from your heart as you posed and smiled. And as they seemed satisfied with your response, expressing gratitude and nods, you stepped away from the spotlight.

However, despite feeling good about your brief press conference, everyone shared disappointment when the Islanders clinched the win in overtime. Regardless of Auston Matthews' impressive return, the Islanders remained formidable and sealed the match just 21 seconds into overtime, concluding with a score of 4-3.

Once again, you gathered the press to secure post-game interviews with the coach and a few players. However, without speaking a word this time, you concluded the media availability time and bid farewell to everyone.

"Miss Y/L/N, you really did an amazing job; you're almost like a natural," a familiar voice spoke from behind. Surprisingly, it wasn't your boyfriend William's voice; it was Christian, one of the content creators for the Leafs fan social media. You had spent a significant amount of time working on content together for the players and maintaining fan pages, ensuring no detrimental rumours circulated.

"Thanks, Chris," you smiled at him. "But I'm far from a natural… I work hard to make sure I get it right."

"You most definitely did... the only thing, though..." he gave you a slightly crooked and nervous smile.

"What? Chris, what did I do wrong?"

“Nothing, it’s just… you maybe should have thought twice about the choice of your shirt…” he spoke gently as he rubbed the back of his neck, making an effort not to stare at your chest. Your eyes widened in bewilderment.

“Shit…what…” you looked down at yourself. Christian, instead of explaining, handed you his phone to show the video he’d recorded. It turned out your shirt wasn't completely see-through as you had feared, but a button had decided not to stay put, ensuring you unintentionally flashed the cameras with a bit more cleavage than most would consider appropriate.

“No...” you mentally kicked yourself.

"Yeah, you really gave the audience a view to remember," Christian chuckled lightly. However, you found it far from amusing. While you were aware of having nice-looking breasts, they weren't intended for the entire internet to see, and you were certain William wouldn't appreciate it either.

With a final smile and a soft wave, Christian bid his farewell, leaving you to hastily button up your shirt before more people could catch a glimpse.

“Fuck…”

As you made your way back to the hotel alongside the rest of the staff, a sense of worry crept in. William hadn’t spoken to you since the match, nor had he sent any of the naughty or flirty messages as he usually did. Initially, you thought he was caught up in gathering his thoughts after the loss or the team was discussing the game. But no matter what, you hadn't heard from him.

It wasn't until you were back at the hotel.

After gathering the equipment with David and Peter, you grabbed your go-bag, navigated through the lobby, and finally breathed out as you waited for the lift.

But once again, a voice disrupted your thoughts. This time though, it wasn’t familiar to you.

“Hey,” the man said, standing next to you.

“Hi,” you offered him a friendly smile, not entirely sure why this stranger decided to strike up a conversation. Moreover, you didn't have the extra energy to be excessively nice and chatty.

But the stranger didn’t let the awkward silence linger for too long, though.

“Can I just say, what a great job you do for the team,” he flashed you a wide smile, his eyes slightly sparkling as his lips formed what seemed like a smirk.

“Uhm… thanks, I’m just doing my job really,” you tried to provide a brief answer with a friendly smile, but your friendliness seemed to encourage him further.

“They're really lucky to have you; you should know that,” the man continued, and you couldn’t help but wonder why the lift was taking so long. Apparently, it seemed to be stuck a few levels above.

“Thank you, I appreciate your kind words,” you simply nodded, turning again to check the number indicating the elevator's location.

“You know, I don’t mean to come off too straightforward here, but I really don’t think you realise what kind of attention you’ve drawn from the fans,” he chuckled lightly, and now he had your full attention.

"What did you just say?" you inquired all baffled.

“Yeah, I mean, we’re like a bunch who really enjoy that you’ve gotten some extra camera works, and you should know that you’re doing more than just fine,” he flashed you a mischievous smile, and you could feel the blush rise to your cheek.

It's not that he wasn't good-looking or anything, but his words had you beyond surprised. The fans had been looking at you?

While you knew some had commented on the video from a few days ago, you couldn’t believe that you’d drawn more attention to yourself like that.

“Well, uhm… thank you, but uhm, I really don’t want to make it about me – it’s about the team,” you tried to brush him off, and just as the lift fortunately pinged and you could walk in, the man suddenly grabbed your wrists, holding you back.

“How about a drink, maybe?” he quickly asked, and you had to stop the doors from shutting close.

“Please, I don’t mean to be rude or anything – but thanks, but no thanks,” you offered him your best smile in the given moment, trying to pull your arm away from him.

“Come on, just one drink,” the man persisted; however, he was quickly pulled away from you by a very familiar person.

"She told you no," William spoke with a sombre tone, his piercing blue eyes revealing his simmering discontent.

"Sorry, my mistake..." the man quickly apologised. And in no time, you found yourself pushed into the elevator, the button for your floor illuminated, as your boyfriend stood before you, jaw clenched, and eyes ablaze.

"Willy..." you softly breathed, a mix of surprise and confusion lingering.

"Don't talk," William spoke firmly, and you knew better than challenging him at this very moment. His entire body was tensed, his hand forming a fist, exerting every muscle to restrain himself.

Yet, his face maintained its usual calm demeanour. He kept a straight face as the two of you reached the floor, aware of the risk with his entire team possibly in the hallway.

Yet, with only a few teammates down the hall, William followed you straight to your room, shutting the door behind, before he grabbed your bag, tossing it across the room.

It was rare to see William Nylander react with such frustration. You'd only seen him once break his stick in anger; otherwise, he always found a way to keep his cool.

But not tonight, not after seeing a stranger, a man approach you like that. And he knew he couldn't just yell, proclaiming you were his, as your relationship was secret. No, he had to stay composed in case anyone noticed.

Yet, he felt the boiling within. Slamming his hands onto the desk, William let out a deep sigh.

"It's not fair..." he mumbled, looking down at the wood, as you slowly walked towards him.

"Willy, it's okay. He was just a bit flirty. He didn't hurt me or anything," you tried your best to reassure him, wrapping your hands around his larger body, prompting him to stand up straight and turn in your arms.

Your eyes met in a tender moment, yet his body remained tense, and his eyes dark.

"That's not... baby, it's not okay," William sighed again.

"What do you mean, Willy?" you asked softly, looking up at your boyfriend.

"Do you realise how difficult this is for me? To see you do so amazing at your work, but then I read comments about men drooling over your boobs, writing about how hot you are, and then finding you in the lobby to ask you out?"

So, that's why he hadn't texted all evening. It wasn't just frustration from the match; he had seen your brief press speech, and it really got under his skin.

Normally, William wasn't the overly jealous type, but since he’d started dating you, he couldn't stand other men approaching you like that. Maybe it was because he couldn't openly share your relationship, but regardless, he couldn't suppress his jealousy.

As you looked up at him, your hands gently cupped his cheeks, caressing them as his rested on your hips, leaning against the desk behind him.

"Willy..." your voice slightly trembled as you were about to ask a question you knew you'd immediately regret. Yet, seeing your boyfriend in this state, you felt it needed addressing. "Do you... do you want to end this?"

Your heart ached as the words left your lips in a soft whisper. But William only furrowed his brows and straightened up.

"What? No, why would you ask that," he said in surprise. "Do you want to end this?" he countered.

"No! Not at all... I just don't want you to feel like this, like we can't be together, and you regret it every day whenever I do anything work-related..." you raised your voice slightly, eyes searching for any hints of his thoughts.

Yet, William didn't display anger or anything of the sort. Instead, his eyes softened and showed a hint of concern.

"Y/n, the only thing I regret is falling in love with someone I can't just shout to the world is mine..." he spoke in a dark, husky voice. "All I want is to tell you how fucking amazing you are at your work! How proud I am of you every day for doing what you do... I just don't like that everyone else gets to look at you like that."

It was one of those rare moments when William showed his true feelings. He wasn't always the best with words, but his deep desires were unmistakable.

And a smile crept onto your lips as you took a moment to mull over his words. "God, you really are the cutest, did you know that?"

William couldn't help but let out a light chuckle in response to your sweet smile and compliment. "No... no, I didn't," he returned the smile, the hotel room's lingering stress and tension slowly dissipating.

"Willy, there's nothing else I'd want more than to shout how much I love you to the world – and I'm sorry that I've apparently become the new spokesperson, but just remember that I AM yours, and no matter what the fans write about me online, it won't change anything between us," you reassured him once again, and this time, it seemed to sink in much better.

"I know... I guess I just have a really amazing girlfriend, huh?" William grinned, his hands moving a bit further down, resting on your ass as he pulled himself closer, causing you to tighten your grip around his neck. Your eyes locked, and a sense of growing lust was palpable in him.

"I suppose you do," you chuckled up at him before he leaned down, closing the gap between you.

His strong arms held you closely, your mouths dancing in a passionate kiss. His tongue gently slipped past your lips, deepening the connection. Your body relaxed and sank into his embrace as your tongues sensually intertwined. Gradually, William's firm grip on your ass lifted you into his arms, prompting you to wrap your legs around his hips. He took a few steps towards the bed, and gently placing you on your back.

"Well, how about I show you just how proud I am of you?" he asked in a dark, seductive voice, standing before the bed as you propped yourself onto your elbows.

You couldn't help but bite your lower lip as his eyes darkened, and his fingers smoothly found the button of your trousers.

Following his every move, you offered him a gentle nod before he undid the button and removed your piece of clothing. His hungry eyes admired the dainty piece of lace covering your core. However, first, William took the opportunity to get rid of the item that had been on his mind all night.

Swiftly, he leaned over your body and ripped your shirt apart, breaking every single button to expose your breasts in a matching lacy bra.

"That's more like it."

You felt your heat almost pulsating merely from his husky words. And before you knew it, he knelt between your legs, tucking down your thong as he discarded it and tossing your legs over his shoulders.

If there was one way William knew how to reward you, it was with his skilful mouth.

And as he then delved his head further between your legs, his warm mouth coming in contact with your most sensitive area, you already felt yourself rolling your eyes to the back of your head, letting go of your elbows as you rested on your back.

"Oh yes, Willy," you moaned as his tongue and lips found your sensitive flesh. His arms held your thighs as he savoured the sweetness of your cunt, tasting every bit of juice you provided him with.

Your hands were unsure what to do, one finding his long hair as the other gripped the bedsheets above your head.

His mouth felt so fucking good, and William was well aware of it.

Exploring every part of your heat, he left no inch untouched. His tongue switched between flicking your clit and probing your entrance, licking between your folds and then sucking on that little bud of nerves.

He was making you feel incredible.

William's beard grinded against your inner thighs, leaving burn marks as he gazed intensely up at you. He loved how you tossed your head from side to side, unable to control the sweet sounds escaping your lips as air emptied from your lungs with every breath.

The pull on his hair became firmer, indicating the pleasure coursing through your body, as your heels dug into the back of his shoulders as the build-up of an orgasm took hold.

And William was beyond satisfied.

He wanted to show you how much he loved pleasing you, how he was just as much yours as you were his, and he wanted to devote every minute of his life to you.

And seeing how he could make you squirm under his touch brought him a sense of pleasure as well.

His cock slowly grew as he listened intently to your moans growing louder, not caring about who might be in the next room. And he didn't care either. All he wanted was to make you feel good.

"Fuck, Willy... I'm getting close..." you breathed out heavily, and William knew it was his cue to bring you over the edge.

Shifting one of his arms from his grip, he kept his mouth on your clit as he guided two of his fingers to press against your entrance. Easing them into your warm depth, your hand in his hair pulled away and joined the other above your head, gripping firmly into the sheets as you let out deeper moans.

"Yes… oh, shit, fuck…"

Incoherent words tumbled from your lips as you felt his fingers curl and pump in and out, complemented by his skilful mouth. Your walls tightened, and your vision became blurry as a rush took over your mind.

And with only a few more pumps, you surrendered to the intensity of an orgasm. Letting go completely, your juices soaked William's fingers, mouth, and beard entirely.

You heard yourself making noises you'd probably never done before. And slowly, you came down from your high as William withdrew his digits and released your core from his mouth, a giant smirk forming across his lips.

Despite the slight pain of beard burns between your legs, you were pleased to see he'd grown it out again, now glistening with your liquids.

"Shit, Willy… how are you always so fucking good at this…" you managed to speak between breaths as you gently moved to lean on your elbows once again.

"I just love pleasing you, babe," he simply replied, smirking at you before kissing your inner thighs a few times, gently nipping and biting. His teeth dug a little deeper into your skin, leaving a good solid mark to remind you of where he'd been.

"You're so fucking amazing, and you deserve the world," he added, rubbing his beard against your already red skin, admiring the sweetness of your dripping cunt before him.

And you couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle.

His sweet, dirty words were making you weak in the knees as you were still coming out of the euphoric state of mind.

"Come on, let's take care of you too," you spoke gently, looking down at your boyfriend between your legs. But William simply shook his head.

"Mm, no… y/n/n, this is about you and how incredible you are… I can wait."

With those words, William once again dug his lips to meet yours, making the scenario repeat itself.

However, this time you didn't last as long. You couldn't help but squirt all your juices over his face as he brought you to your second intense orgasm, painting his satisfied smirk as you loudly moaned out his name again.

You were a hot mess before him.

And as he finally released you from his grip, standing to admire what a piece of art he'd turned you into, you could feel his eyes especially looking between your thighs where you were sure he'd painted you red. And what would most likely turn into dark blue and purple colours over the next few days.

"Let's go to bed," William suggested with his ever so casual and confident smug face, despite his hard cock tucked away in his boxers.

"You're sure you want to stay in here?" you inquired with a soft expression, finally gathering enough strength to rise from your position and sit on the bed. You tossed the shirt away and unclasped your bra, but the sight of your bare chest wasn't exactly going to convince William to leave the room.

Instead, he undressed, keeping his eyes on you, as he joined you on the bed, swiftly pulling you onto him. And before you could say "goalie interference," you had his cock buried deep inside you as you rode him to the moon and back.

It was passionate lovemaking as you rocked your hips, feeling every inch of him stretching your walls. You supported your hands on his chest, moans escaping your lips as William grew more eager to reach his own climax, and he began pounding up into you.

"Fuck, baby, you feel so fucking good!" he blurted out with every thrust. "I'm gonna… shit, I'm gonna come…"

And with a few more thrusts, he spilled himself into your depths, letting out a deep grunt and your name along the way with heavy breaths.

It hadn't been his intention to have sex with you tonight; he had only planned to go down on you and spoil you as you deserved. But when you were there, naked in front of him, how could he resist the temptation?

And as you then cuddled up, spooning in the dark and letting your tiredness take over, William suddenly broke the silence with a soft whisper.

"I'm sorry..."

"Sorry for what, Willy?"

"For being so jealous all the time..."

You couldn't help but turn in your position, softly caressing his cheek as you listened to his heartbeat.

"I kind of love that you're jealous... it just shows that you care," you tried to comfort him, and he couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle.

"Fuck, what have you done to me, baby."

But as sleep slowly took over you, William couldn't drift off entirely. His thoughts raced about what had happened throughout the day, how much he loved you, and how he wanted to support everything you did. However, he couldn't deny either that the comments from fans were keeping him awake as he thought about how you could have chosen someone else over him, someone you could be exclusive with, openly and officially to everyone.

Yet, he also knew that he needed to believe when you told him that you didn't want anyone else.

#my asks #intern x willy #18+#william nylander imagine #wn88 imagine #nhl hockey imagine #toronto maple leafs imagine #nhl smut #william nylander smut #william nylander fic

91 notes · View notes