#but part of me wants the comfort of a million past lives i had and knew

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

Childs play (Miguel O’Hara x fem! Reader [ex-Childhood best friend turned Fwb AU]) Part 1

Hiiiii! I’m so freaking excited for y’all to read this I’m literally shaking! This will only be 1 part. (Edit: I’ve changed my mind it will get a second part but it won’t be put right away) Shout out to @chickenshit03 for beta reading the one shot. Absolute sweetheart 🫶🏼. Not proofread, enjoy!!

(Y/N)-Your name.

NSFW!! SMUT!! MDNI!! Cursing, light choking during the deed , protecting PinV, Miguel being a big meanie near the end, Comfort/Hurt, lmk if I can’t think of anymore

Word count: 4.6k

Part 2

Masterlist

—

Knock knock…

“Hello, I’m sorry if I’m intruding but I wanted to introduce myself, me and my family just moved in next door and I wanted to introduce ourselves.” Your mother said as she stood at her neighbors door, you hid timidly behind her leg as she spoke to a Hispanic woman with curly dark hair. Your eyes wandered around her living room, or at least as much as you could catch from your spot. Not paying any mind to the conversation they were having when your eyes spotted a young boy around your age, about five or so walking past with a few legos in hand.

Your shyness was quickly overtaken with curiosity as you went to pull on your mother’s hand, she must have been watching you stare at the brunette, because before you could even turn up to ask her if you could go play, she was already shooing you in the direction of him as her and the other lady went to go talk over coffee in the kitchen.

He didn’t glance up at you as you sat down in front of his spot on the living room floor, being too preoccupied on the Star Wars set he was working on.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“My name’s (Y/N).”

“Cool.”

“What’s your name?”

“Miguel.”

You paused, shifting to sit down better before speaking again.

“Can I help? I love legos.”

He stayed quiet, and for a second you think he’ll say no, until he shrugged and moved the instruction book so you both could read it, making your lips come up in a smile.

“Sure.”

—

“You can teach me to play street fighter a million times and I will never understand it.” You huffed as you dropped the controller on your lap and leaned back on the couch, the tv in his living room sounded out a “finish her” as Miguel’s character killed yours, you couldn’t even be bothered to remember the names, peeved off that’d he beat you for the upteenth time, him not even having the courtesy to let you win one round.

“I’m not gonna be sorry for you being bad.” He retorted in a teasing tone, sticking out his tongue at you, and blew a raspberry. Your arms quickly crossover your chest as you puff your cheeks out with a pout.

“You’re so mean to me Miguel, I hate you.” You mumbled the half-lie to the other ten year old, looking away as you felt your cheeks heat with embarrassment, you didn’t even notice his movements until you felt him grab for your hand, turning your head to realize he was now standing in front of your spot on the couch.

“You don’t hate me, I’m your best friend.” He states, making you nod your head in confirmation after a beat, “Good. Because you’re my best friend too.” You smiled.

“Can we play something else then?”

“Nope.”

“Ughhh.”

—

“(Y/N), it’s your turn to spin the bottle.” Mj’s voice snapped you out of your head, suddenly aware of all the other fourteen years olds turning to stare at you. Was it a bit embarrassing you were about to lose your first kiss in a game of spin the bottle?

Half-dried nail-polished fingers gently grabbed the base of the empty Coke bottle, praying to god no one saw the way your hand trembled slightly, as you gave it a good twist. As your eyes tracked the blur of clear glass, you got your lower lip, silently hoping it was someone who you wouldn’t fluster up in embarrassment when you had to tell them who was your first kiss in the four walls of the lunch room. Like Kyle, or Ben or-

“Oooo- you got Miguel!” One of the other girls giggled as your eyes shot up to where the tip was pointing and surely, there he sat in front of you. Miguel was good…yeah, great even! You trusted him, he was your best friend since you were practically in dippers…So with a fine silent look of confirmation, you crossed the circle, closing your eyes as your lips connected for the first time.

Is it normal for your heart to skip a beat during a kiss? God how red is my face right now? Have I been holding it for too long? I wonder if he’s enjoying it, he hasn’t pulled away so that’s a good sign right? I should probably stop now. It's been like four seconds.

You finally pull away, sitting down on your knees as you bring a hand up to wipe some excess saliva away from the cover of your mouth. The sound of the next person going to spin the bottle muffles out around you as you focus on the weird flutter in your stomach.

—

“SLOW DOWN MIG-YOU’RE DRIVING LIKE A MANIAC!” You yelled as your left hand flew to grab at your seat belt, right hand gripping the overhead handle so hard your knuckles were turning white, pushing yourself as much as you could into the passenger seat at you could while he just let out an eye roll and chuckle as you were being dramatic (you weren’t).

“I’m not taking driving advice from someone who doesn’t have their license yet.”

“You got your license yesterday! I don’t turn sixteen for another four months!”

“Don’t care, you could ever shut up or take the bus.”

You couldn’t respond right away because another scream came from your throat as he turned a corner.

“If I die in this stupid car, I’m going to haunt the shit out of you O’Hara!”

“I’m not gonna let you die, stop being dramatic.” He scoffed, finally pulling up to the school parking lot, finally slowing down as he looked for a place to park. His arm comes around the back of your car seat as he goes to backwards park in an empty spot. “See I didn’t let you die.”

“I’m actually traumatized…” You muttered, eyes still wide as you kept still in your seat. Miguel let out a huff and he goes to take your seatbelt off once the car was shut off.

“If I buy you some subway during lunch will you stop complaining?”

“…yes.”

—

“Maybe I could just take a gap year-or-or go to the community college nearby, just until I can transfer, then I can try for Columbia again?” You kept fumbling your words, looking at the rejection letter in your hands. If you tried to focus on it enough, you’d be able to hear the paper shaking lightly in your hands. Glossy eyes trying to rapidly blink away tears before they fell on the paper. Miguel quickly shook his head as he placed his coffee cup down on the table of the cafe you two would frequent.

“No. Not happening, I’ll just reject my application and we can go to Stanford together in California.” He told you, making you copy his actions as you placed the paper down next to your other University letters.

“Are you crazy? That’s your dream school! I am not letting you do that for me. I’d never forgive myself for that.” You admitted, looking at him in those familiar brown eyes, praying to god yours weren’t growing bloodshot from the emotional moment between you both. Miguel letting out a heavy sigh, his hand going to run through his pushed back brown locks as he looked down at his letters again. The silence that grew over you two was almost suffocating, a thing it never felt like around him. It made your heart ache, trying to keep back a whine and some tears as you closed your eyes and took in a shaky breath before opening them again and finally breaking the silence between you both. “I mean…FaceTime is a thing right?” Miguel raised a brow at your sentence, before it clicked in his mind what you were implying. Quickly shaking his head, his hand coming up to stop you.

“No. No. I can’t even go a week without seeing you, I’ve lived next door to you for thirteen years and you expect me to be okay with us being two thousand miles away from each other!?” You glanced around you when Miguel raised his voice slightly, luckily other than you and the owner the place was practically barren.

“Mig, we’ll figure it out! We’ll call and text, FaceTime, and I’ll come back for breaks! And besides, you don’t strike me as a type to enjoy California.” You attempted to lighten the mood, thankfully being met with an amused grunt and his lip twitching up slightly.

“Fine… just, promise we aren’t going to end up like all those friends who stop talking because we’re going to separate college’s alright?”

Your smile grew. “I promise.”

—

Ring…

Ring…

Rin- “Hey it’s Miguel,” your ears perked up, quickly scrambling up from your position on your bunk bed, where you were laying on your stomach, “I can’t come to the phone right now, leave me a message.” Beep.

“Hey Miguel… just wanted to see how you were, I finished my exams for the semester, and I’m going back to Neuva York tomorrow. I wanted to see if you’d want to hang out during the break, let me know… bye…” You mumbled before you hung up the call, tossing your phone on the other side of your bed. Running your hands through your head, letting out a heavy sigh. Closing your eyes to keep any forming tears of frustration from spilling out.

You and Miguel weren’t as close as you’d like to be anymore. How did a few months apart completely unwind the tight knit threat that had kept you both close for years? It had started out well, you did good at keeping your side of the promise and he did as well. Texting every hour, FaceTiming him every weekend, calling every night while you both studied, it almost felt like nothing had changed.

Then, classes became harder, you’d both start to develop new friends, new routines. The text became less frequent, now lagging to every few days, FaceTime sessions were now non-existent and your daily calls now became monthly, never lasting more than half an hour. You hated how you two were growing apart, and it hurt to see that Miguel didn’t seem to care. You didn’t have to see him in person to notice his new friend group was starting to change his personality. He was starting to seem more stoic, dry, it almost seemed like he was constantly agitated or something of the sort when you finally would get a hold of him. Still… despite the gradual change he seemed to be going through you still had hope that deep down he was still the same old Miguel you had grown to love and cherish. And that spark of hope only grew when you heard the faint buzz of your phone from the foot of your bed, quickly grabbing it to read a new message.

Text me when you get in tomorrow.

—

This was not what you had in mind.

Somehow Miguel had convinced you to go to some random bar that didn’t ID with him and his college buddies. “I’ll be fun” he said, “you’ll love them” he said. Now here you were forced to listen to some snobby trust fund kid bitch and moan about how he had to inherit his father’s company and blah blah blah. You weren’t even paying attention anyways, his words were going into one ear and flying out the other, opting to sip on your mixed drink to help keep you from banging your head into the bar counter. Tonight had simply e been the worst. Not to mention Miguel had been acting… different.

Maybe he just wasn’t good with distance, but it still struck you as odd how the second you were both finally in close proximity it was almost as if nothing had happened, like your friendship with each other wasnt badly strained for weeks on end. It didn’t stop there though, no no no. Because now that you were with him in front of his new friends and all dolled up he had been more… touchy, and not in a way he had been before.

A hand on your thigh, an arm around your waist, a finger idly twisting and twirling your hair. It was so… intimate… like he wanted them to think there was something there that was more than just a childhood friend. You couldn’t say that you hated it, it was just unexpected.

“Hey… let’s get out of here?” Miguel’s whisper snapped you out from your thoughts. The way his voice murmured lowly against your shoulder as he all but rubbed against it like a cat making your cheeks flare up and a shiver ran down your back. Quickly ignoring the feeling of the spike in your heart rate and the wetness growing in your panties, nodding as you go to stand up, not wanting to be in the over cramped bar any longer and just waiting to head back to Miguel’s place since you were staying there for a week. Feeling like your knees were going to give out from underneath you when he slid his large hand from between your shoulder blades and upwards to squeeze your right shoulder.

Not sure if your hazy mind was from the alcohol or from his actions anymore. Not sure if things would go back to how they were before you’d left when he went to leave sloppy wet kisses on your neck as soon as his apartment door was closed and locked. Not sure if you could look at him the same way after he made you see stars from the comfort of his sheets. Still you couldn’t stop. It felt too good, he felt too good.

“Fuck- felt so fucking good…” He hissed as he pulled out from between your legs, taking a moment to let himself to catch his breath before rolling the condom off and tossing it in the trash can. You didn’t respond, still out of it from the aftermath of experiencing nirvana in the form of drunk sex. Letting out a sigh as you turned to your side and closed your eyes as drowsiness starts to seep into your bones. Feeling the other side of the bed dip before a strong arm came around to hug your waist.

“…Miguel?”

“Yeah?”

“This… was a one time thing right?”

A pause, a heavy sigh before you felt his soft lips kiss the nape of your neck.

“… of course.”

—

A flash of light shined through the darkness of your studio apartment. You didn’t even need to check the notification screen in order to know who it was. Only one person would text you at two in the morning.

Come over?

If you told your high school self that the only time you ever saw Miguel was in the deeps of night while you were tangled in his sheets, she would have thought you were lying. The most fucked up part was that it was starting to affect you mentally, how your best friend had turned into a booty call because of one night from a drunk fuck seven years ago, it was painfully obvious you’d never get to the point where you’d be able to go back to the way you both once were. You couldn’t help but cling to the last broken bits he was willing to give you though. So every time he calls or texts you at random hours of the night since you’ve moved back to Nueva York, you’d show up at his doorstep like you are now.

“I know it’s late, I'm sorry, these Master exams are kicking my ass.” He apologized while letting you in after a few seconds. Closing and locking the front door before gently pushing you against it, his lips already finding their usual spot against the crook of your neck. Calloused hands began to slip underneath the baggy material of your hoodie, his large fingers gently grazing the exposed skin, you’ve learned to stop wearing shirts to these sessions a long time ago. “Need to blow off some steam…”

“Miguel…”The way you’d breathe out his name always made him feel like he had died and gone to heaven, your hands wandering upwards against the black fabric of his tank top. His lips separated from the blossoming red and purple mark they left in their wake so he can pull your jacket off before stripping off his own shirt. Your arms quickly wrap around his neck, any guilt that had been lingering in your mind quickly melted away when his hands ran down to your hips underneath your waistband, thumb fidgeting with the thin fabric of your panties. “Need you-“

“Need you too Cariño.” He muttered before going to place a gentle peck against the edge of your lips, you couldn’t help but let out a small whimper at the movement. You’ve noticed he never kisses you directly on your lips, always on the edge, on your neck or cheek. You would have felt your heart ache if the feeling of your core throbbing when his hand dragged your bottoms down to squeeze your ass wasn’t more overwhelming, lifting you up to wrap your legs around his waist.

Half of the time you two didn’t even make it to the bedroom, finding a spot on the hallway wall or against the kitchen counter. This was one of those times, he stumbled over to the couch, too distracted on leaving hickies all over your chest and dipping his fingers into your wet cunt. You let out a gasp when you landed on the brown leather rather harshly, making the couch move a few inches from its original spot due to the weight of both of your bodies hastily climbing on top of it. He made quick work to strip the rest of your clothes from both of your bodies once he made sure you hadn’t accidentally hit your head. Quickly slipping a condom before lining himself up.

“Fuuuuck-fuck…” He groaned, as he pushed the tip of his cock between your folds. Your mouth falls open in a silent scream from the deliciously painful stretch that he always provides. Giving you a second to adjust to his length and girth before pulling out and slamming his hips against yours, each thrust making your silent whimpers and whines turn into pornographic moans and incoherent babblings. “Love filling you up. You love this cock don’t you?” He taunts, it was so cruel the way the words fell from his mouth but you loved it nonetheless. Nodding rapidly as you gushed around him for the first time tonight.

“Nah uh… need to heard you say it. Use your words.” He smirks, enjoying the plop plop sound that started to quietly reverberate off the walls of his living room. Glancing down momentarily to watch a thin layer of cum that was forming a ring around the base of his cock. “Tell me how much you love it.” He urged.

“Fuck-fuck… love it so much.” You moaned, overstimulated from your orgasm, squirming underneath him just the way he liked. He couldn’t help the way his ego swells at the way you feel apart for him.

“Don’t know what I’d do without you.” He cooed as he propped your leg over his shoulder to get a better angle, his sweet words always messed with your foggy mind. “Such a sweet little thing, all for me.”

“Don’t-don’t say that Mig.” You whined, head turning to the side, as your hand dropped from his chest to drop off the couch. His right hand quickly leaves your hip and runs up to your neck, keeping his grip light as he props your head back to face him with his index finger.

“Aww poor baby, can’t handle when I talk all sweet to her, huh?” He let out an airy half chuckle. Despite the honey-like toned he’d use, the underlying taunt was always present. “Let me make it up to you baby.”

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he thrust deeper into your core, making your hips subconsciously jump up to meet his.

“Mig-Miguel, I’m so-so close.” You whimpered and whined, clenching around his length, his hips stuttering slightly as you felt the heat building in your lower belly start to grow with each thrust.

“Cum with me baby… Cum all over this cock.” He groaned.

“Fuck-Fuck.” With one final thrust, you finally came undone around him, his name falling from your lips over and over like a mantra. Miguel followed suit, stopping his thrust while fully inside your cunt, letting out a deep groan as he came.

“Shit… You okay?” He asked once he was able to collect himself enough, climbing off top of you before rolling the used condom off his softing member, picking up his forgotten boxers and placing them back on.

“Mhm…” You nodded, trying to stabilize yourself on shaky arms and legs. Miguel seemed to have noticed, picking up your clothes from the floor and making his way over to hand them to you.

“Let me get you some water.” He said before retreating to his kitchen. The only sound in the air now was the faint noises of him rustling around his cabinets, and the quiet shuffling of clothes. Hating the feeling of putting your legging and hoodie back on due to the thin layer of sweat still on your skin. Once you were decent enough Miguel came back with a glass of water and handed it to you. Mumbling a “thank you” before taking a sip. Miguel cleared his throat as he sat down on the other edge of the couch, eyes cast down, hands rubbing anxiously together, finally deciding to break the steadily growing awkward silence. “Look, (Y/N), I wanted to talk to you about something… something kinda important.”

You raised a brow, noticing the sudden change in his behavior, taking another quick sip before placing the half empty glass on his coffee table. “What’s up?”

He released a heavy sigh as he brought a hand up to scratch the back of his neck, still not making eye contact as he continued. “I’m not sure how to say this, so I’ll just put it out there…” He finally brought his gaze up to meet yours, “We need to stop seeing each other.”

Huh?

“I’m sorry what?” The words came out of your mouth before you could stop, your face quickly filling up with confusion and a bit of disbelief as you stood up. Miguel follows your actions as he puts his hands up in defense, but you continue before he could try explaining. “You can’t just fuck me on your couch then tell me afterwards we need to stop. You know how much of an asshole you sound?”

“I know, I know it makes me sound like an asshole.” He tried to reason with you, going to finally put on his shorts and tank top that were still on the floor. Not feeling like being half-naked during this conversation. “Look, there’s this girl I’ve been seeing and it’s getting pretty serious-“

“A girl you’ve been seeing?” You repeated in disbelief. “You can’t be for real.”

“Well, we never agreed to be exclusive. It’s not like we were going to start dating or anything.”

Ouch.

You had to turn away so they didn’t see the tears building in the corner of your eyes, but even with your face hidden your body language gave you away.

“I know we weren’t exclusive but fuck Miguel.” You shake your head, going to make your way to the door. “I’ve known you since we were five and you’re just gonna throw me away like some old toy?!”

“Hey-no. That’s not-that’s not what I mean, you know that.” He takes a step forward, grabbing your arm before you could get too far. “We can’t sleep together anymore, but we can still be friends.” You couldn’t help the scoff that left your lips, finally gathering yourself enough to pull your arm away and face him again, not caring if he saw the tears cascading down your cheeks. He’s made you cry one too many times, it’s about time he saw what he did to you. “We can still be friends! You’re still my best friend (Y/N)!” He couldn’t help but let his voice come out in more of a panic, a bit more rushed. You quickly shook your head.

“No. No, we aren’t best friends anymore Miguel, we haven’t been in a long, long time. I know that, you know that. So don’t pretend like we are just because your afraid of losing your emotional support fuck buddy.” You finally head toward the door and towards your car in the driveway, not turning to face him as you hear him call your name. “Don’t call me, don’t text me. If you're as serious about this girl as you say you are, you’d do the right thing and block me. Because I’m so tired of waiting around and pretending like one day you’ll wake up and realize I’m in love with you.”

You froze once the words came out, hand still on the car door handle as you came to the realization you finally admitted the secret you’ve been holding for the past ten years. Your free hand going to cover your mouth as you finally turn to look at Miguel, the look of shock from the confession was evident. You shook your head as you attempted to back track.

“Wait, Miguel I didn’t mean to tell you that-it just happened-“

“… You should leave.” His voice suddenly became stoic, his face hardening so it was hard to read his emotions. “This is just helping my case. Leave.” The tears flowed harder down your face as he slammed the front door shut. Leaving you to sob into the emptiness of the night as you finally let all the pain from the last seven years catch up to you.

You weren’t surprised to see your text bubbles turn green the next morning.

—

“I really think this one is it.”

“Me too!”

“He’ll love you in that dress.”

“Aww I can already see the waterworks.”

All you could do was smile, your hands repeatedly smooth non-existent wrinkles as you looked at yourself in the mirror, you looked like a real life princess. After what felt like hours you finally found the wedding dress. You couldn’t be happier.

“Alright Miss future Osborn.” Your maid of honor squealed, finally getting your attention, “You need to get out of that dress, you need to meet up Harry to look over the venue.”

You sighed, as you turned back to admire the white wedding dress one more time. “You’re right, I don’t wanna keep him waiting just cause I can’t stop staring at myself.” You giggled, before heaving to the back.

You and Harry have been dating for four years now, and he had proposed last month during your anniversary. You couldn’t be happier, he treats you like a queen, better than any other Man you’ve ever been in romantic contact with.

Once you had finally finished changing out of your regular clothes, you grabbed your phone out of your purse. Sending a quick text telling him that you found a dress, before doing a quick check on insta, wanting to look at the engagement pictures you posted on your page last week. But the soft smile on your face quickly dropped, like your heart did to your stomach when you checked your activity page.

Miguel.Ohara.99 and 4 others liked your post.

Miguel.Ohara.99 started following you.

1 message request from Miguel.Ohara.99

Fuck.

—

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[doobea]

I CAN MAKE YOUR BED ROCK - RIN ITOSHI

synopsis: You're a famous online smut author, married to an international superstar athlete, and everyone around you thinks you have the perfect sex life. What they don't realize is Rin sleeps in the guest room and you're still very much a virgin.

contents: fem!reader, arranged marriage, suggestive themes but nothing too explicit (read with caution), characters are all in their mid/late-20s, reader has a small supportive friend group of other smut authors, mentions of alcohol, sex toys, and lots of failed attempts to seduce an oblivious (?) husband, mdni word count: 2.4k a/n: you guys already know that this is gonna be a wild one. is this my debut attempt to write smut but make it a romcom? maybe. this is gonna be a four-part series!!

一 : Oh baby, I be stuck to you like glue ->next.

To say that you’re infamous on the internet isn’t an exaggeration but a truth. No, you haven’t posted anything controversial regarding your marital status and haven’t gotten yourself into a crazy D-List influencer scandal; you’re infamous solely because of your erotica literature and, surprisingly, your in-laws were fine with it.

“Whatever brings home the money.” Your father-in-law would always chime. 

You weren't ashamed of your career, and it practically all started in college when you wanted to pass the time writing for your favorite fandom. In a short amount of time, you had gained a small devoted following on your blog that made a lightbulb switch go off in your head - what if I could do this for a living? And so you did. Fast forward three years, now you are making a comfortable living working from anywhere with a wifi signal available and have over 950k followers on your socials, all under your alias 'YN Finalis'. With that many followers, most people would feel worried about their personal life being breached, but you're not dumb; you like to keep your personal life on, what you like to call, "low battery" mode.

Here's what your near million followers do know about: you’re 24 pushing on 25, you've come from a rather wealthy background, you’re married to an athlete, you’ve written well over 40 original explicit stories, and you have a plethora of sex toys and contraptions in your master bedroom.

What they don't know is: you're in an arranged marriage with Rin Itoshi for the past year, he only sleeps in the guest bedroom, and you're a virgin with a really creative mind.

Crazy, right?

But it's not like you're alone in your thoughts, today was the day when you decided to finally vent to your close fellow internet authors about your sexual frustrations.

"My in-laws keep asking me the same thing every time they call," Your voice reaches your laptop where your weekly meeting was set up on the kitchen counter. "I mean just how do they expect us to have a kid when my own husband doesn't even touch me?" You finish the remaining wine in your glass in dismay as sudden gasps were heard from the laptop's speakers.

"He hasn't initiated sex with you in these last few months?" Chigiri gasps.

"More like in the entirety of our relationship." You cry as you pour out another glass. You pick up your laptop, frowning seeing everyone's solemn looks, and make your way to your living room couch. "I'm still a virgin for crying out loud, like who's still a virgin at 24?"

Probably a lot of people but this is about you, not them!

"Oh my god," Hiori looks like he was going to cry for you. "Maybe your husband's just shy? Could it be he hasn't found the right time for it?"

"But a whole year?" Bachira is next to speak. "No wonder your stories have been popping off, you've been super horny."

You try to hold back your drunken sniffles. "I just don't understand! It's not like I'm ugly or anything, plenty of people wanted to date me back in college! He comes home to a clean house, I make fantastic meals that aren't just a ham and turkey sandwich, and for his past birthday I even gifted him an all-paid trip to Okinawa!"

"Shit," Shidou whistles, "I'd fuck you if you made me a ham and turkey sandwich."

"Not now for jokes." Hiori scolds and his tone softens when he speaks to you, "Outside of sex, has your husband been good to you?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration. "God, yes. He's so good to me you have no idea."

It wasn't like Rin was neglecting you in other forms of intimacy. Hugs and brief kisses were frequent both in and outside of the house. He loves holding your hands, shopping for clothes with you, giving you forehead kisses, and kissing you 'good morning' and 'good night' every day. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him, other than the occasional 'I'm irritated and I need my space' phase that required a whole evening to himself - but that was beside the point.

"Have you guys even talked about it?" Hiori continues.

"Oh god, absolutely no, it's an arranged marriage for fuck sake. What if I come off too strong and he doesn't even see me like that? Then the whole marriage will just be awkward!"

"But he's willing to do all those other things you listed down, maybe he is just shy." Bachira retorts.

"You think maybe he swings the other way?" Shidou asks but it's genuine this time.

A long period of silence falls over everyone as they try to figure out what they could help you with. But ultimately this was your husband to figure out, Rin wasn't married to them and they don't even know who Rin Itoshi was.

“Ah, whatever!” You swirl the wine in your glass around, frowning at your sullen reflection. “Maybe we’ll just end up adopting a baby instead of having one, maybe his parents won’t be able to tell the difference. And maybe I’ll just have to resort to reading other smut to satisfy my lack of intimacy. Chigiri, when is that next chapter coming out?”

A few clicks are heard from the other side of the screen before he says, “You’re in luck, I’m about to have my friend beta read this and it should be up by tonight.”

Perfect, you thought.

Chigiri, whose online username is RedPanther, has the third most followers on the adult website that everyone in the group was a part of. He's known for his works centering around the tropes 'forced proximity' and 'enemies to lovers', often the smut he writes will include a steamy threesome that has some sort of pegging involved - but that's always towards the second to last chapter.

"Oh!" Bachira calls out your name with a smile, "Aren't you working on a new story yourself?"

“Remind me again,” Shidou leans forward, "what's this one about?"

You find yourself feeling slightly lighter now that you've vented and the topic has shifted to something you're more confident speaking about. After a few seconds of rummaging through your Word documents, you drag the file labeled "I CAN MAKE YOUR BED ROCK - rough outlines & ideas.doc" to the group chat. Rarely do you ever share your creativity flow with other people but, after your unwarranted trauma dump, you figure it was better than nothing.

"Funny enough, it's loosely based on my marriage." You confess sheepishly, "This is my way of coping with it, I guess."

"Nothing wrong with that." Hiori chimes in, "It's free compared to having a shitty therapist!"

"Damn woman," Shidou's pink eyes dart back and forth from the screen, eyebrows furrowing up and down as he makes his way through your well-detailed outline. "you need to get laid, ASAP."

You click open your story file to follow along. In the tags section, you listed: Arranged marriage, unrequited love/one-sided, brat tamer, BDSM, choking, spanking, spitting, breeding kink, cum slu–

Okay, maybe Shidou is right (which is a surprise), you do need to get laid. But it's also okay to get slightly defensive for the sake of your ego, right?

You playfully roll your eyes at your group mate. "Ok ok, no need to judge that hard coming from the person who literally writes degradation kinks for a living!"

"Well, I think this story will be your best one yet!" Chigiri and Bachira both flip you a thumbs up over on their end of the call.

After a few more exchanges of small story updates in everyone's life, you all decided to end the call since it was getting rather late in the afternoon and you have yet to get started on dinner. You briefly thank Chigiri for his upcoming update and hop off, just in time before you hear the familiar sounds of the front door opening.

"I'm back."

"Welcome back, Rin!"

You can't help but feel slightly embarrassed and guilty that you were essentially gossiping about your husband's lack of sex drive to your friend group, which he hardly knows about, when he comes home with a large bag of takeout and your favorite coffee order. Rin is dressed in his typical workout outfit, which consists of a black form-fitting t-shirt and grey sweatpants that were just loose enough that you can still make an outline of his 'magic jewels', as Bachira likes to write.

"Baby, you didn't have to." You quickly grab the items from his hands so he can set down his gym bag.

He hums in response, briefly kissing your forehead before making his way into the kitchen to fetch a tall glass of water. "You've been cooking all week so I wanted you to take a small break," Rin says with a smile.

Your ears go warm and mimic the smile back, “Thanks, how was practice today?”

He sighs through his nose and wipes away the remaining sweat-covered bangs sticking to his forehead. “Rougher than usual but nothing too crazy. Isagi was more annoying compared to yesterday.” Rin says with a small pout.

“Boo,” You stick your tongue out in agreement, “how dare he annoys my one and only husband?”

“Oh, shut up.” He flicks a finger to your cheek and lets out the slightest fake scoff.

After hydrating, Rin announces quietly that he’ll come back to eat as soon as he takes a shower and darts to the guest bedroom. And with that, you’re reminded of your odd predicament.

He is a good husband and knows that you care for him and vice versa. When both sets of parents first introduced you two, it was awkward and you knew from reading his background that he wasn’t the most sociable of people but you were, and still are, patient. This arranged marriage was more or less a business deal between fathers; your father held the CEO title at a top entertainment company in the nation and Rin’s father wanted to secure the spotlight for the growing star athlete. Rin didn’t say much during that meeting, and neither did you.

Your first kiss with him was also on your first date. It was at his apartment, both of you shared the same hobby of playing horror games, and you were sitting thigh to thigh on his two-seater couch. You were dying multiple rounds in, fingers bruised from button-mashing and mind-busied with inappropriate thoughts as you kept stealing glances at your painfully attractive fiance. It didn’t take long for Rin to notice because it was stupidly obvious. He sat his controller down, took one look at you, and asked, “Do you want me to kiss you?” with a weird little smile that was seemingly almost out of character from what you knew of him. And the kiss was … awkward to say the least. You remembered him leaning down and you were leaning up, mashing lips and a little bit of teeth together. No amount of research that you had done days prior could’ve prepped for that. And it was almost as if it was his first time kissing too, but you fixated on your inexperience than pay any mind to his mysterious relationship track record. 

One year later and you’re still stuck at first base.

As if on cue, you feel your phone give out a series of buzzes in your back pocket, already knowing that it’s from your online penpals. You break out from your thoughts and scroll to the top of the messages:

Bachira M. [BluntBangs] “You should try seducing him tonight!” Hiori Y. [ChoppyCyan] “You remember reading Chigiri’s fan favorite short story - “Till Death Do Us Part”? There was this one scene where the characters had to share one bed because the other bedroom got ruined by a leak! Maybe you can “accidentally” make that happen too?” Chigiri H. [RedPanther] “I remember I had a fun time writing that scene. You should definitely try and flirt with him, y/n.” Shidou R. [HornyDemon] “And if your husband won’t fuck you then I will /jk” Hiori Y. [ChoppyCyan] “Shut up you’ll fuck anything that has a pulse”

They weren’t necessarily wrong. You didn’t want this dynamic to potentially go on for another year or even for the rest of your life - trying wouldn’t hurt anyone, right? 

You quickly fill up a pitcher of water then peer into the spare guest room and notice warm lighting bleeding through the cracks coming from the bathroom door and the sounds of running water. With Rin still busy washing up, you take the liberty to start messing around for your impromptu operation. You weren’t exactly sure when or who suggested sleeping in separate bedrooms to start but, to your knowledge, this is the first time that you’ve actually sneaked around in his room.

You start with the closet, opening its double doors and seeing his clothes all hung in order and by color. His sneakers and cleats were all stored in separate clear cases in the bottom corner while there is a small center shelf in the middle that holds his cologne, deodorant, and moisturizer. He’s neat, you think to yourself before deciding that it’s probably best to leave his belongings alone and focus on ruining something in the room that was less personal. Next is the carefully made bed with extra fluffed pillows, then the freshly well-kept plants on the window sill, followed by the small framed photo of your wedding day on the bedside table. Guilt immediately rushes over your consciousness.

“No, this won’t do either.” You groan, suddenly feeling like this is the dumbest thing on earth now. “I should just give up.” 

“y/n?” Rin’s voice calls out and you snap your head towards his direction, soon to be met with a series of incoherent sputtering from the male as you realize that he’s completely wet and naked.

“Oh my god!” Hands and pitcher fly to your redden face as you try to come up with an excuse but nothing comes out the way you want it to, “I-I uh–water! I thought you needed more water–I’m sorry!”

You hear him scrambling around the room, most likely searching for a towel to cover up his impressive lower half. “You’re fine,” Rin’s voice sounds flustered and unusually high pitched, “just give me a second–”

“N-No I’m sorry! I don’t even know why I’m standing here I should just go and–” Closing your eyes might’ve been the worst choice all day because soon your body meets the wall and soon the floor, spilling the pitcher’s contents all over you in the process. 

Your phone vibrates again, text reading:

Bachira M. [BluntBangs] “Did it work?!”

#blue lock #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #doobea writing #itoshi rin #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin x reader #blue lock smut #itoshi rin smut #rin itoshi smut #bllk smut #idk how slow but like slowish #they are not gonna fk until like the last chapter i think #but will do everything else in between #i can make your bed rock - rin itoshi #mdni

[elatedfool]

SEEING AVENTURINE IN THE LIVESTREAM MADE ME THINK ABOUT MEMOKEEPER! READER WITH HIM :o

I mean since he have such a tragic past, it would be very interesting to see someone who can look into his memories as a Sigonian

I'm so happy you like him too (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠) hope I'm not troubling you

not at all :3 this will contains some leaks and fanarts i've seen about his past! may not be 100% accurate. also memokeepers can choose who they want to be visible to, but i'm not sure about the fortune telling part. this still looks bad despite being in my draft for days goddamn.

the first time he met you was when you're passing by ipc's pier point, only to spot an exhausted aventurine splayed on his million-credit couch.

since memokeepers are able to become invisible, you curiously approach his room, intrigued by his wealth. and out of kindness, you carefully moved him into his bed, before finding his 'aventurine' stone—which indicates his importance to the corporation.

your growing curiosity led you to pry into his past, watching all the hardships and suffering he had to go through during his childhood, which was supposed to be filled with joy and laughter. instead, you watch as they place thick and heavy chains around his neck and wrists, left him with little to no food, marked his neck with the word 'slave', and force the poor boy to work tirelessly. scene after scene plays out like a film, as a proof of just how cruel the ipc can be.

you stopped looking into his memories, tears forming in the corner of your eyes. you would never guess that this easygoing and arrogant man hides such a past.

eventually, you start following him around—watching him gamble, standing in the corner when he sleeps, even sneaking into the ipc's annual meeting just to make sure he's safe. you find him fascinating, the way he can acts so haughty while having experienced so many things he should never have gone through.

until one day, aventurine's guts tell him to catch this strange, mysterious creature that has been stalking him. but you're so hard to catch, so hard that he has to pretend to sleep to make you lower your guard and make yourself visible.

"snooping around again, little memokeeper?" he chuckles the moment you turn around in surprise. you do want to show yourself to him, but not this early! and when you tried to escape, he caught your hand just before you could teleport, pulling you closer, "since you already know so much about me, i can't possibly let you roam freely anymore,"

so now you live with a rich senior manager of the largest corporation in the cosmos, always stuck to his side—aventurine wouldn't like it if you were to use the knowledge about his past for something that'll ruin his business!

he spoils you, of course—while ignoring the weird look he gets from his subordinates and acquaintances when they saw him talking to the air. so you take care of him in return! comforting him when he has a bad day and making sure he did not forget his meals.

this is a memokeeper's love language me thinks: you also create light cones of the moments when he's the happiest—which are usually when you're around, and you bring them to the garden of recollection to make sure you have something to remember him when the fated day comes. aventurine also keeps some of these rectangle objects in his room, and he probably gaze at the pictures when you're away collecting memories.

bonus: imagine aventurine asking you to reveal his luck for today before he went to gamble, to which you refuse, since memokeepers cannot use their powers for self-indulgent reasons—congrats, now you have earned yourself a pouty aven!

#cottage's mailbox｡ #hsr fluff #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr x reader #aventurine x reader #aventurine x you

[hanyjar]

do stars return?

itoshi sae x reader

summary: your childhood friend leaves, and you question if he’ll ever come back.

notes: [1.2k words.] i like to think this man has super angst potential but that won’t be unearthed today LOL no beta we die like men <3

disclaimers: childhood friends trope, angst (if u squint) to fluff, making out for a lil bit, poetic dialogue, forgiveness theme.

masterlist.

Itoshi Sae shines.

It's a truth you've come to realise at the budding age of seven. He, with his tepid stature and equally cold attitude, is destined for greatness.

A star, you whisper, once upon a time. A time where he lived without a million eyes watching his every move. You will become a star, I just know it. 

And back in the day, it wasn't just you who believed it. Everyone did. From his teachers to his classmates, to his parents and his brother. It was an indisputable fact that the boy who dedicated himself wholly to soccer, a prodigy who made the sport look like an art form, had his future set out for stardom.

So it is no surprise to anyone when your naive declaration comes into fruition.

His face is plastered on every billboard - as far as the eye can see. Japan's pride, he is known as. The Ice Prince; he who dominates the field; a force to be reckoned with.

Itoshi Sae: the star.

You are proud. No doubt. Though, it’s false to say that you aren’t envious. Sae is a trailblazer: one that surpasses all of his enemies with a nonchalant stare, and transcends into the sky with the other geniuses. He is a part of the lucky few who are destined to be gazed upon with awe. Everything and anything you have achieved pales in comparison.

(You’d surely hear reprimands if you voice those thoughts out loud, though. In your time, you have made a name for yourself. An expert in your passion at the mere age of seventeen; a trailblazer in your own right.

…It’ll just never compare to the name Sae built for himself, you think with finality.)

But above the awe and envy you feel whenever Sae’s name comes up, is love.

Love: a trap that is inevitable for a childhood friend of his. A pitfall that you have fell into. Your love for him is a bittersweet fact, one which tugs at your heartstrings whenever his face shows up on your phone. Sweet, because childhood love is a beautiful, rare thing - you’re glad that it has happened, in all honesty - though bitter all the same, because he is a star.

And stars shoot past. They never go back.

(He, will never go back.)

So for the years that Sae is gone, you float by on that knowledge. Merely acknowledging him as the one who crashed into your life, and left as turbulently as he came. You work diligently to mute the love that festered in your heart, knowing it will never be. 

You wholeheartedly believe that your life will continue in this fashion.

Then, the impossible happens.

The star returns, seven years later. On your doorstep, nonetheless.

"Itoshi?" 

Somehow, even in the ungodly hour of 12:56AM, Sae manages to look as beautiful as the day he left. It's unfair. Unfair for him to show up at your doorstep unannounced; unfair for him to have grown into his boyish looks as gracefully as he did.

It’s unfair for him to still make your heart race, even after all this time.

"Who else would it be?" He scoffs, the bite of his words not quite reaching his eyes. "And, Itoshi, seriously?"

His voice makes your heart leap. It's like you are ten again. "Well… You haven't been Sae for a while now," you say. "Not since you ghosted me, anyways."

Sae's eyes flicker with an emotion you thought he is incapable of feeling. "I didn't mean to." Regret. The Ice Prince is feeling regret, all for you. And if you were ten again, maybe that alone would shake you. But you aren't. You are several years wiser. You know better.

"It's fine if you want to be the best in the world. I don't blame you for that - not at all. But you can be number one and not neglect the ones that love you, y'know?" You slowly retreat back into the comfort of your apartment, hand creeping onto the back of the door. "Goodnight, Itoshi. You should go home; it's late."

You push the door, preparing to end the conversation then and there.

It’s not supposed to be like this, you realise. He, your first love, is supposed to stay in the past. Itoshi Sae should not be at your doorstep past midnight, suitcase in tow, as if he came straight from the airport to your house. The feelings you hold for him should be locked up within the depths of your heart - not surging in full force from just the sight of him.

But alas, fate plays its mischievous tricks once again. And Sae is not the type of person who lets blunders get away scot-free.

"…You love me?” He says, barely above a whisper, foot wedged between the door and the entrance. An impenetrable silence follows from your end. 

Seven years older, but still a fool in the face of love, it seems.

“I did,” I still do, your mind yells. “But you’re a star now, Sae. Just like I said you would be.” Your breath hitches, nails forming crescent-shaped indents within your palm. “…And stars don’t fall in love with the big, black sea of nothingness, do they?”

A beat of silence ensues from his end. You cringe at your own word choice. Maybe he left, you think. Great. Itoshi Sae was at your door, and you scared him away with your stupid love and even stupider confession. How stupid can you even get—

The door hinge creaks as you topple over, shattering your inner turmoil. Sae announces his intrusion with a loud sigh.

“Hey! What are you?— This is considered trespassing—“ You begin. Sae shuts you up with a forceful kiss, pinning you against the door that you were hiding behind minutes before. It’s messy, tantalising, addicting. The smell of his aquatic cologne fills your senses, and he cups your face in between his hands. He feels so warm. He feels like home.

Sae’s whole body screams of need. The need for you; the need to make up for the lost time. 

You hate how you are so weak for him. 

“Idiot.” He deadpans as the two of you part. “If you’re going to get all poetic on me, fine. Stars don’t fall in love with the galaxy.” 

You remove yourself from his arms, eyes scrunching in offence. Bold thing for him to say, especially after he just kissed your lips raw. “So… You’re not in love with me?”

“Let me finish.” Sae is quick to pull you back into his embrace, voice impossibly soft for the otherwise stone-faced boy. “Stars don’t fall in love with the sky. They live in it; I live with you.”

Sae hopes that the implication is clear.

You, alone, are his hope; you are the reason he sparkles as much as he does. Even while you were miles apart, his childhood friend was the sole thing on his mind. A star cannot shine without its galaxy, after all.

“You’re not off the hook, by the way.” You breathe lightly, laying your head against his chest. “Seven years is still a long time. I don’t think you can cuddle your way out of this one, Itoshi.”

A small smile elicits from his face, “I can try, can’t I?”

…And this star is willing to wait for his galaxy to forgive him, no matter how long it takes.

#blue lock x reader #itoshi sae x reader #sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #itoshi sae #blue lock #blue lock sae #blue lock imagines #blue lock fanfic #itoshi sae x you #itoshi sae x y/n #blue lock collection ! #honey pot !

[tasteleeknow]

HELLO STRANGER. PART FIVE.

PAIRING: minho ft. hyunjin x fem!reader GENRE: smut, angst, fluff, soulmate!au. enemies to lovers. jealousy. pining. unrequited love. WORD COUNT: 5.4k

masterlist and taglist ♡ pt.1 | pt.6

do not repost to other sites, including translations.

You came. You came to the thought of Minho wrapped around you and… inside you. Minho. The same Minho who tossed what remained of your self esteem into the dirt and pressed it so deep into the earth you have no idea if you’ll ever find it again. 

It’s fine. 

You’d already accepted he was pretty, maybe the prettiest person you’d ever seen. But that was before. Before he’d called you an infection and made you feel so, so, small. It was easy to see past his pretty face after that. 

And then he’d been kind. Fucking sat with you through a storm and asked you if you were okay and told you not to cry. It’s not enough. It shouldn’t be enough. He has an unfair advantage. He was picked out for you. Soulmates. Soulmates. Soulmates.

You could cry. Or scream. 

You do neither. 

You crawl into bed and try to forget. He didn’t want you. 

You are alone. 

—

It’s like he knows. It’s some sort of cruel joke. A soulmate who can read your thoughts, your internal conflicts. He’s sitting at the table when you stumble out of the bathroom the next morning—a pile of fruit in front of him like a peace offering. 

“I made fruit salad,” he says, all soft and fucking irritatingly sweet, “if you’re hungry.” 

You freeze, completely and utterly fucked. 

“I’m fine.”

—

Avoiding him is a ridiculous, impossible task. You live with him. Still, you avoid him at breakfast, and—after a few failed attempts to avoid him in the pool—you stop going all together. Hyunjin had attempted to squeeze the truth from you. He couldn’t understand why you’d stop doing something you seemed to enjoy so much. Never in a million years were you going to confess that seeing Minho dripping wet and shirtless each morning was fucking with your head. Not after everything. You couldn’t give Hyunjin any hope. 

“You can tell me,” Hyunjin says as he taps the end of his pencil on the small coffee table. 

He’d been spending the afternoon drawing while you read. It’s a peaceful, quiet company. Or it has been before his nervous tapping had started.

“Tell you what?” 

The tapping doesn’t stop as he looks up at you from the floor. “Have you fought?” 

You frown, closing your book and dropping it onto the couch beside you. 

“No,” you reassure him. “I mean a small one but we made up. We’re fine.” 

His pencil stops. He places it down gently. “Then what is it?” he asks. “What’s wrong?”

I think I want to fuck my soulmate. The one who made it clear he does not want to fuck me. The one we live with. 

“What… makes you think something is wrong?”

He offers you a sad smile—a knowing smile. He always seems to know. How can you be surrounded by people who seem to know your thoughts and still feel so… adrift… alone.

He joins you on the couch, replacing your book with his fluffy socks as he curls up beside you. He’s warm. He radiates warmth, as always. “You’re avoiding him,” he says, like he’s pointing out the sky is blue or the grass is green—like it’s simply and utterly true. 

How do you deny a fact?

“We’re being civil.” 

He tucks his feet underneath you and leans back on the armrest, making himself comfortable. “So this was a mutual agreement? To distance yourselves from each other?”

“We didn’t wanna argue anymore.” 

Hyunjin says nothing in return. Just looks at you, like he’s caught you with your hand in the cookie jar and you’ve just tried to deny it. 

“What?” you blurt.

“He asked me this morning if he’d done anything to upset you.” 

A short laugh bursts from your lips. You can’t help it. “Upset me?” you question, struggling to wipe the laughter from your face. “He asked if he’s done anything to upset me?” 

“Recently,” Hyunjin clarifies. 

You turn to face him, grasping his calves in your hands to use as leverage as you rearrange yourself. “Jinnie,” you start. “We should go out.” 

His eyebrow twitches. “Out?” 

“Mina’s wife is having a party tomorrow, for her birthday. Come with me.” 

He pulls his legs from your grasp, tucking them to his chest. “You’re trying to distract me.” 

“I’m inviting you to come out with me. It’ll be fun.” You lead forward and rest your chin on his knees. “Please,” you plead, offering him a small smile. 

He looks to the hallway as the water cuts off. Minho has finished his post pool shower. “What about him?” he questions. 

You press your lips together to prevent ‘what about him?’ slipping out. It’d be easy to find a reason, an excuse to keep this just between you and Hyunjin. Mina invited him specifically because of his attendance at her wedding. You want to spend a night with Hyunjin alone. Quality time minus the beautiful, asshole soulmate. Instead, you sit back and—with a slight furrow of your brows—you mumble, “He can come if he wants.” 

Hyunjin laughs, falling forward over you—his face pressed into your shoulder. “Try not to look too happy about it,” he says around his lingering laughter. “He probably won’t come anyway.” 

You push him off you gently before tucking his hair behind his ear. “You’re annoyingly caring, you know that?” you say. 

“Thank you,” he says. 

—

Minho does say no. He’d rather stay in, he says. Fine with you. You and Hyunjin leave him sitting on the couch with one of the cats curled on his lap. 

His eyes drift down your bare legs on your way out. You wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t taken one last glance back at him. You don’t know how you feel about it. 

You find yourself at the bar before you’ve even attempted to locate Mina or her beautiful, rich wife/soulmate. Alcohol is nice. Alcohol and friends and loud distracting music. It’s not something you usually enjoy. In fact Mina had made it clear you weren’t obligated to come exactly because she knew you so well. It feels different now. It feels like it’s exactly what you need. 

Hyunjin gets dragged off by the birthday girl at some point in the night, when you’ve had more drinks than you probably should have and then attempted to take the edge off the inevitable hangover with a tall glass of water. Mina sits with you, her legs stretched out in front of her to touch yours—each of your backs pressed up against opposite walls in the empty hallway. 

“It has to be weird,” she says. “It has to be.” 

You take another messy sip of water, wetting your lips more than anything. Then you nod. 

“Has… anything happened?” she emphasises her point with a look up and down your body, her eyes lingering between your legs. 

You kick at one of her feet. “God, Mina.” you scoff. “No. Did I not make it clear? He fucking hates me.” 

“And… you hate him?” 

You nod. 

“You sure?” she questions. 

You attempt to chug some more water. Most of it ends up down your dress. “Yes,” you grumble as you wipe at your dress uselessly. “He’s an asshole. He’s maybe the biggest fucking asshole I've ever known.” 

Mina gives you a look. A really fucking annoying look. Like she knows. Would everyone stop thinking they fucking know. 

You pull yourself up on your feet, a little less steady and graceful than you’d prefer. But you make it upright. Mina joins you with only a little help—a clumsy tug to one of her arms. 

“You can hate someone and be attracted to them,” she says as you stand there in the middle of the hallway, cool water dripping down between your breasts. 

“I…I know.” 

She shoves your shoulder, almost sending you back into the wall. “I knew it!” she yells. “You’re fucking—”

You slam your hand over her mouth. “We are not. I am not. I got myself off and he happened to be… the face I was thinking of. That’s it. Okay?” 

She nods and mumbles something into your palm. You release her. 

“Are you okay?” she asks, swaying a little on her feet. It almost sobers you completely. 

You had no idea. 

“I can’t want him,” you say eventually. “I can’t.” 

She must see something in your face because you find yourself tugged into her arms. It’s nice. “What do you need?” she asks as she strokes your hair. 

“I don’t want… to want him.” 

She takes a small step back and takes your face between her palms, holding you in front of her like a mother about to give her child a serious life lesson. “I saw a very pretty man in a tight black shirt earlier,” she says. “Would you like me to get him for you?” 

You huff out a small breath of laughter. “No,” you say. “Thank you anyway.” 

“You sure? Maybe you’re just horny.” 

You sigh, taking her hands from your face gently. “He’s my soulmate, Mina. I’m… fighting an uphill battle.” 

“Or… you’re horny.” She raises her eyebrows and bats her eyelashes. “It might help.” 

“If it doesn’t?”

She takes your hand. “I’ll text you everyday reminding you how much of a prick your hot soulmate is.” 

“You’re a good friend.” 

She smiles. “Let me show you the pretty man in the black shirt.” 

—

It’s a mistake. 

From the moment he kisses you, it’s wrong. It’s a pair of lips and they’re warm and wet and attached to a very pretty man but… that’s it. It’s nothing. 

You must be fucked in the head. A masochist. You want pain and hurt and suffering. The pretty man in the black shirt had been nothing but kind and sweet and pretty. You don’t want him. 

Still, you don’t stop it until he’s cupping your tits in his large hands. You don’t know why. It’d be easier to keep going, to pretend this is what you want—to pretend the man you want touching you isn’t at home with a cat in his lap. It’s tears that finally signal to the man pressing you into the wall that this is a mistake. It’s embarrassing and awkward and Hyunjin asks no questions when you find him shortly afterwards and ask him meekly if you can go home now. 

It’s only when you’re tucked under your covers an hour later that you confess. Hyunjin crawls in beside you. He doesn’t ask. He just waits. 

“I tried to sleep with someone.” 

It’s too dark to see his reaction. You’re grateful. 

“It didn’t go well?” 

“No,” you whisper. 

“Why?”

“He wasn’t him.” 

He wraps himself around you, tugging your face into his chest. It can’t be more than a minute before the tears come. You promised yourself you wouldn’t do this—you wouldn’t make Hyunjin carry any of this anymore. It wasn’t fair. It’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s not—

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t—I told him to sign up. I’m sorry.” 

You shove yourself backwards, pressing your hands onto his chest to keep distance between you. “What?”

“I forced him into this. You wouldn’t… be dealing with this—with him. I—”

“Stop. Please stop. You can’t… seriously be blaming… yourself right now? You can’t. That’s not what’s happening.” 

He’s quiet. 

“Jinnie,” you whisper between shaky breaths, “You’re breaking my heart.” 

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” 

“I don’t regret it,” you murmur into his chest. “I don’t. I’m so grateful you made him sign up for that stupid app. I found you. You’re so, so worth it.” 

He lets out a shaky breath as his arms wrap around you. 

—

“I’ll be down in a minute,” Minho says as Hyunjin waits at the door with his towel draped over his shoulder. 

Hyunjin nods and then he’s gone. A sense of foreboding falls over you before the door even closes behind him. You’re alone with Minho.

“Can we… talk for a second?” he says, confirming your fears. 

You place your spoon down slowly, contemplating just making a run for it. “Sure,” you say instead. 

He clears his throat as he takes a small step towards you. “I just… I wanted to check that I haven't done anything recently… to hurt you.” 

“Recently?” 

It’s a low blow and not as satisfying as it should be. His shoulders drop and you watch as his towel drags on the floor as his arms hang at his sides. “Yeah,” he says. 

“No.” 

“I thought… I thought we were… getting along. Or better at least.” 

You wish you weren’t having this conversation right now, with his shirt off and his arms out. God his fucking arms. 

“We are. I’ve… been dealing with some things. I’m sorry if I've been distant.” 

“Some things?” 

“Personal things.” 

None of your business things. You didn’t want me. 

He blinks. “Right. Yeah. I uh… I just thought maybe you’d prefer I didn’t come to the pool. I know you liked it.” 

He’s offering to stop, to leave the pool sessions with Hyunjin to you. It should be easy to agree to his offer. But you can’t avoid him forever. Exposure therapy, you tell yourself. The more you see him… exposed, the less you’ll care. You sigh.

“Would you… wait for me to change? I’ll come.” 

You can’t help noticing the way he perks up a little. “Yeah, yeah I’ll wait,” he says.

You find yourself alone in the shallow end, watching as Hyunjin guides Minho out into the deep. They’d made some progress in your absence. Minho could almost make it to the other end unaided. You've known how to swim for as long as you can remember. It’s instinctual now. It’s hard to imagine what’d it be like to be unable to swim; to not be able to keep yourself above the surface… to sink. 

You lift your feet off the bottom and tuck your knees to your chest, letting yourself sink down under the water. It’s quiet; dulled. Apart from the muted sounds of the others moving at the other end of the pool, there’s nothing. 

It feels like yesterday, when you’d found yourself alone in the waves—heavy storm clouds overhead. The smell of the ocean mixing with the freshness of the incoming storm. The small group on the beach looked so far away as you made your way out of the water, your arms wrapped around yourself to shield from the chill. It was the start, the first moment you’d felt it. It was dark and cold, the heavy weight in your chest. It existed to remind you that even when you were surrounded by people, you were alone. You’d managed to ignore it a little in recent years, with Mina around so much. But then you’d been abandoned, by your ex, by Mina, by Minho. 

You were unwanted. 

A hand wraps around your bicep and tugs, hard enough to hurt. 

“—fuck are you doing?” 

Minho’s voice is the first thing you hear when you surface. You gasp as you shove your hair from your face, only realising as the oxygen floods into your lungs how much they were burning. You blink as you catch your breath. Then his tone of voice sinks in along with his grip on your arm.

“What—”

“What are you doing?” he says again, cutting you off. 

Your brows furrow. “Let me go.” 

He blinks and then releases you. You watch as his eyes widen a little and then he’s taking a large step back until he’s pressed to the edge of the pool. You suck in a breath—to say what exactly, you aren’t sure.

“You alright?” Hyunjin says, interrupting you before you can find out. 

“I’m fine.” 

“You were under for a while. We thought—” 

“I’m fine,” you insist, suddenly embarrassed—by the situation but mostly by the self pitying thoughts you’d let yourself be consumed by. They couldn’t know, you knew they didn’t know but the embarrassment bubbles up nevertheless. 

Hyunjin stands there, a comforting hand on your shoulder, looking at you like he cares. 

Because he does. 

You weren’t alone. He’d suffered so much more than you ever had and here he was, warm and kind and caring. You paint a small smile on your face and step into his arms. “Sorry,” you mumble. “I… didn’t realise.”

“Just don’t forget to breathe,” he mumbles back. “Please.”

—

Mina had been diagnosed with Celiac Disease three years into your friendship. She couldn’t eat gluten ever again, she’d explained to you. No bread. No pasta. Your favourite ice cream was even off limits. They snuck that shit into everything you had both come to realise. Still, she stuck to it. Even when she was piss drunk on a night out she’d remember to ask the bartender exactly what was in each drink. The thing that amazed you the most was her ability to turn down cheesecake. It was your shared kryptonite. You’d both taken countless midnight trips to the convenience store just to satisfy your all consuming craving for cheesecake. She’d cried the day you’d both tentatively read the ingredients label only to discover the dooming words in bold print ‘Contains Wheat’. She never touched it again. 

You’re reminded now—as you sit quietly on the edge of the pool—what Mina had said when you’d asked her how she did it; how she managed to resist the cheesecake. “Because I have to,” she’d said. As simple as that. “It’s off limits. I’ve crossed it out as an option. I can’t eat cheesecake like I can jump out of a plane without a parachute. It’s not an option.” 

You watch as Minho stretches his arms above his head. Shirtless and wet. He shivers a little. You imagine if you were closer you might be able to see the warm droplets making a slow path down his skin and into the water. 

Then you blink. 

It seems to click after that. He’s there. He’s beautiful. He’s dangerous. He's convenience store cheesecake… and he’s jumping from a plane without a parachute. 

It makes it almost easy. 

You can spend more time with him this way. It seems to take him a little off guard at first. He’s almost awkward. Then he settles. It works so well you wish you could go back in time and slap yourself for not realising it sooner. Treat him like he’s anyone—no one. Not an option. 

You’re a genius. 

“How much further?” Minho asks as he steps around you and nudges you away from the curb with his shoulder. The first car in five minutes passes you both a few seconds later. It’s late. So late the streets are nearly empty. 

“If you ask me that again I’ll push you into traffic.” 

“Well ‘not much’ doesn’t mean anything. You said ‘not much’ half an hour ago.” 

“Don’t be dramatic.” 

“I’m not dramatic.” 

You huff out a short laugh. He grumbles something under his breath in response. 

“There!” you shout, pointing across the street. “I knew I hadn’t missed it.”

“Hey!” he calls after you as you take off across the empty road. 

It’s exactly as you’d seen it last, the small gap in the hedge. It was easy to miss. You had to be looking for it. Minho is a little out of breath as he joins you at the wall of foliage. He shoves the sleeves of his hoodie up to his elbows. You expect him to question you, to make a snarky comment about the wall of shrubbery you’d dragged him to in the very late hours of the night.

But he doesn’t. 

You’re both quiet as you catch your breath. You’re silently hoping everything is exactly as you’d seen it last. You haven’t been here in years, not since long before Mina had found her soulmate. It was Hyunjin you’d thought you’d be bringing here. Never Minho. But then, you’d never imagined yourself getting along as well as you had been over the past month. The suggestion to come here had slipped out of your mouth before you’d even taken a moment to think about it. 

You were both awake late. Both sitting around with not much to do. “Wanna go for a walk?” you’d asked. 

“Where?” 

“There’s a place nearby… I haven't been there in a long time. It’s nice.” 

“Alright,” he’d said. Simple as that. 

You step forward into the hedge, pushing the branches aside as you go. Minho reaches in behind you, holding a few back before they can snap back into you.

“It’s here.” 

His breath tickles your neck as he leans over you. “A door?”

“A door,” you confirm with a smile, eyes fixed on the large wooden arch in the stone wall. 

It’s a struggle to get it open. You both end up pushed up against it until finally, it gives. You manage to catch yourself as you stumble forward. Minho isn’t so lucky. He takes you down with him, falling into your back and sending you both crashing into the grass below. 

You’re just grateful he manages to avoid landing on top of you. He just misses, landing hard just beside you. It only takes a moment for you both to recover from the shock of it. Then you’re laughing. You roll onto your back, laughing up to the star-littered sky. 

“Did you bring me here to murder me?” Minho asks as he sits up. “Is that it?” 

You look up at him from your bed of grass. “There are much easier ways to kill you.” 

“You’ve thought about it have you?” 

You smile sweetly as you give him a small nod in reply. 

His eyes flick across your face as the corners of his lips curve up to mirror yours. “Why did you bring me here then?” 

It’s a good question. One you’re not sure how to answer. So you don’t. Instead you pull yourself to your feet and take in your surroundings. It’s just how you remember it, your garden. It’s as dense as a forest with a small path winding through the bushes of flowers and towering trees. It’s lit by soft yellow lights scattered through the shrubbery and along the path. It’s only because you’ve been here before that you know where the winding path leads. A large tree at the centre, with a swing hanging down from one of its thick branches. You have no idea who tends to it all. The whole garden is well-kept. You’re unaware of any other entry point. It’s not something you want to know. Magic is better when you don’t know its secrets. 

“Is this… someone’s garden?” Minho asks, standing beside you now. “Are we trespassing?” 

“Dunno,” you say with a shrug. “I’ve never seen anyone else here.” 

He takes a small step forward, seemingly in awe. You can’t help smiling a little at his reaction. It feels like yours, this garden. It only deserves awe. 

The smells are the best part. It’s different at night. The fresh midnight air mixed with the fragrance of the flowers. How can anything be wrong in the world when a place this soft exists? 

Minho is quiet as you both wander down the spiralling path. He’s tugged his sleeves back down and his hands hang by his sides. You can almost feel the warmth radiating from him as his fingers swing past yours. Yours are practically ice cold.

“Has Hyunjin been here?” Minho asks.

Hearing a voice almost feels wrong now. A disruption to the perfect serenity. 

“I’ve only ever been here with Mina.” 

The fresh breeze picks up for a moment, rustling through the leaves above you. “How’d you find it?” 

“Her brother,” you say as you tug your sleeves down over your frigid fingers. “He brought her here. I don’t know how he found it.” 

“Mysterious.”

You hum. “Doesn’t it make it so much better? The magic of it all. It’s like stepping out of reality.” 

“Is reality so bad?” 

You kick a stray rock. “Sometimes.” 

They’ve been rare recently: the reminders. He’s someone who caused you pain, who worsened your self-doubt and anxieties. You haven't forgiven him. He hadn’t been redeemed. 

You shove it all down again. 

“Guess where this leads.” 

He shoves his hands in his hoodie pocket, the small pouch at the front offering him warmth you highly doubt he needed. He runs warm, you’ve come to learn. You were incredibly jealous. “It leads somewhere?” he asks. 

“Mhm. Guess.” 

“Do I get a prize for getting it right?” 

“No.” 

“It leads to hell.” 

A short burst of laughter escapes your lips. “What?” 

“You did bring me here to murder me after all. I’m being lulled… hypnotised by this spiralling path before you push me down an empty well in the centre.” 

You pause. He pauses too, turning to look at you. 

“You’re weird.” 

“Am I?” he says with a small tilt of his head. 

God, how you wish you had more self control. Then you could prevent your lips curving up into an amused smile. He reacts exactly how you expect. He smiles back. 

By the time you reach the centre, you’re half convinced he’s right. The spiralling pathway seems to have worked to lull you into some sort of strange spellbound state where you’re enjoying Minho’s company. You tolerate him usually, a neutral sort of company that you can find in most anyone you’re forced to share space with. Or, you’d thought it had been neutral. In this garden there’s no distraction, nothing you can use to convince yourself you’re not finding joy in his company in its own right. You wonder how long you’ve been in denial. 

It’s an uncomfortable thought that is happily disrupted by the centrepiece of your garden. The giant oak towers above the rest of the vegetation. You imagine it being here long before the wall was ever built to enclose her in. A swing hangs from one of her thickest branches, swaying in the gentle breeze. In a different garden the whole atmosphere might induce fear, an unsettling feeling. But not your garden. She’s good, soft, and welcoming. There are no ‘deep empty wells to hell’ in your garden. 

Minho leans against the trunk of the great oak as you rock back and forth on the swing—keeping your feet on the ground. He’s a comforting presence, you realise. You thought you might regret bringing him here, that he might taint your memories of this place. 

“Why haven’t you brought Hyunjin here?” 

“I haven’t brought anyone here.” 

He readjusts his position against the tree. “Except me.” 

“Don’t let it go to your head. I didn’t… think about it. I haven’t been here in a long time.” 

“Why?” he asks after a short pause. 

You shrug. “I don’t know. No reason I guess.” 

“You do.” 

“What?” 

“You do know. You always have a reason.” 

You watch him sink to the ground with his knees bent and his back against the trunk. He looks so comfortable, like he’s been here a million times before. 

“I always have a reason?”

He nods. He doesn’t offer any elaboration. 

You can’t help frowning a little, confused by his apparent insistence that he knew something about you that you didn’t. He knew something… about you. You shuffle in the swing, suddenly a little uncomfortable. 

“I wasn’t ready.” 

He waits for you to continue, seemingly completely relaxed. 

“I was always happy here,” you continue. “This place is… it’s happy. It’s outside of reality and it’s magic and it’s—” you suck in a deep breath before letting it out slowly, emptying your lungs. Minho waits. “I didn’t want to taint it with… all of my shit. If I started coming here when I was sad, that’s what it would be: my sad place.” 

“That makes sense.” 

You look up at him, finding him still looking entirely at home beneath your oak tree. “It does?” 

He nods with a small hum. “You’re good at that.” 

“At what?” 

“Knowing yourself, your… feelings.” 

It’s a strange compliment. You’re not sure what to make of it. You’re not even sure it’s true. 

“Are you not?” you question. “Good at that.” 

He drops one of his knees, leaving one leg bent and the other stretched out in front of him. “No,” he says simply. “I’m not.” 

“You’re good with Hyunjin’s feelings. He told me about what you did. Taking him to Europe after—” 

“That was nothing,” he intejects. “It was… an attempt to distract him. That’s it.” 

You’re walking on a tightrope. One wrong word and this all goes to shit. The last thing you want is to spark an argument in the middle of your garden. But this is what you did, you and Minho. You had these conversations in odd hours of the night. 

“I think… you’re cutting yourself short. You… You held him together. You showed him happy places, like this.” You’ve stopped swinging now, the movement feels dangerous. “I can’t imagine it. It must have been—” 

“I thought he might die.”

You hold your breath. 

“He just fell apart,” he continues. “He wouldn’t eat. He hardly drank anything. He just slept and cried.” 

It’s hard to think about. Hyunjin’s tears terrified you. Just the thought of him being in pain cut so deep inside you, you almost wished you didn’t care about him at all. 

“I could feel it,” he says, voice so low it’s only the stillness of your garden that allows you to hear him at all. “I could feel what he felt. It just… seeped out of him. He hadn’t even met her and he was so…” He sucks in a shallow breath. “I just needed to distract him.” 

“You’re a good friend, Minho.” 

He smiles at you. A sad smile. One you’ve never seen before. “Am I?” 

“You loved him when he needed it most. You… held him up until he could stand on his own.” 

His brows draw together as he looks at you, a heavy look filled with nothing you recognise. You can see his thoughts swirling, spiralling somewhere you clearly weren’t allowed to go. It’s only when he looks like he might cry that you stand abruptly from the swing. This wasn’t a sad place. 

“Your turn,” you say, gesturing to the empty seat. 

He blinks, unmoving. You march over and grab his hand from his knee, giving him a hard tug. “Up,” you command, taking note of his warm hand. Always warm. He complies, letting you drag him to his feet and push him gently towards the swing. 

You’re both quiet for a minute or two as you give him a head start, pushing him gently each time he swings back to meet you. 

“I haven’t been on a swing since… I don’t even remember.” 

He sounds lighter now, like the cool breeze has swept away some of the darkness with each swing. You’re surprised to find you care. That the thought of him recovering from sadness settles some anxiety deep in your chest you hadn’t noticed was there. 

“Minho?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m sorry if I made things harder for you. For both of you.” 

He stops the swing abruptly, his feet planted in the grass. You stand behind him. He’s completely still for just long enough to make your stomach drop completely. You’ve fucked up. 

Then he stands and turns to face you, the swing separating you both. He grips each rope, holding the swing still. “What?” he says. 

You can’t take it back. “I said I’m sor—” 

“I heard you,” he interrupts. “I just don’t understand why you would say that.” 

“I caused… a lot of distress to you both. I’m just s—” 

“Don’t. Don’t say it again.” 

He seems almost angry. Please, please don’t ruin this place, you silently plead. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing. You don’t apologise to me. You never—” He cuts himself off before closing his eyes and breathing deeply. When he opens them again he’s much calmer, the intensity mostly gone as his grip on the ropes relaxes. “You did nothing wrong. You’re fine. Okay?” 

All you can do is nod. You’re fine. 

He takes a small step back. “Your turn,” he says. 

please reblog and share your thoughts. caption, tags, replies, or ask box, i read it all. feedback is what motivates me to write more!

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[javierpena-inatacvest]

You're My Home

Summary: You and Javi have both had one of those weeks where no matter how hard you try, nothing seems to go right. It only takes so long before something stupid makes the both of you snap. When Javi confesses to you what's been putting him on edge, you find a way to make it up to each other.

Word Count: 4.9K

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no use of y/n)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), established relationship, unprotected p in v sex (wrap before u tap), vaginal fingering, creampie, angst, PTSD (poor Javi has a panic attack but you help him through it), hurt/comfort, makeup sex (!!!!), bad communication but apologizing/forgiving each other, mentions of food/eating, reader wears Javi's shirt and is carried by Javi, fluff fluff fluff bc you two are so in love with each other it hurts

This can be read as a stand alone or as a part of the It's Never Too Late Series!

A/N: I don't know what's been in the water that has me so compelled to make something angsty, but here we are!! Once I started writing this I quite literally could not stop, and it turned out to be one of the most intimate things I have ever written 😭🥺 I love these two sm

It had been a week. 

A long fucking week. 

One of those weeks where it felt like no matter how hard you tried, everything just felt… off. You had just started volunteering to run the Alma Pierce Elementary School drama club, which had you staying an extra hour and a half after school every Monday and Wednesday, on top of preparing for Parent-Teacher Conferences next week. You loved your group of students this year, but holy shit, were they chatty, and the past few days you felt like you might as well have put a cardboard cutout of yourself at the front of the room and left, because your class had absolutely zero interest in paying attention to you. To top it off, you could tell that Javi was having a bad week too. You hadn’t seen much of each other the past few days, with you working late and prepping for conferences, and Javi working on a new project the department had dropped in his lap without notice. Even though you lived in the same apartment, you had felt like strangers this week. Sure, you’d had off days before, but the two of you were always open and honest with each other, seeking comfort and safety in the other's presence, knowing that you were both there for one another, through good times, and bad. 

But this week was not like those “off” days. Something about it had felt tense, cold, even. You hated it. You hated every second of it. The two of you were never like this. Javi was your best friend, yet somehow, sitting in the same room, you still felt a million miles apart. Every interaction that you’d had left a worse taste in your mouth than the last- snapping at each other over stupid things like unclosed containers in the fridge or leaving towels on the bathroom floor. The worst was that Javi just could not seem to let things go, his presence feeling overbearing, almost bossy, with everything that you did. 

“You left the iron on while you were getting ready, you’re gonna burn down the fucking aparment.” 

“Double check the locks on the door, you forgot this morning.” 

“If you don’t fix the bath mat before you get in the shower, you’re gonna break your goddamn head open.” 

Even worse than that, when you tried to politely remind Javi about something, or do something helpful for him, he had been a complete asshole to you. 

“Yes, I can remember to clean it up after I’m done, I’m not fucking 8 years old.” 

“Jesus, I know we need more coffee creamer, you put it on the grocery list and reminded me twice.” 

“I can put away my own laundry, just let me do it.” 

It felt like he was breathing down your neck, the fly in your ear that just wouldn’t go away, and it made you want to scream. You had considered yourself to be a pretty patient person- working with kids, you had to be, but this week, Javier Peña seemed to be testing every ounce of patience you had left in your body, and you were about to run out.  

Your Friday night routine with Javi normally consisted of the 3 same things every week

Javi picking up pizza from place down the street on the way home from work

Eating the pizza and watching a movie 

Pausing said movie to have sex, finish watching the movie, and then fall asleep on the couch. 

On this particular Friday, you had a very strong suspicion that none of those 3 things would be happening tonight. When you came home, you practically collapsed from exhaustion the moment you got through the door. Dropping your bag and kicking off your shoes, you crawled your way to the couch, completely collapsing in its cushions, taking a few deep breaths to try and regain your composure from the hellish day it had been. You finally mustered up enough strength to get up and change out of your work clothes into something more comfortable before sulking around the apartment, making yourself finish chores that had seemed to go neglected all week. Javi was normally home a half hour after you, but as you looked up at the clock, he was 20 minutes later than usual. It wasn’t long before another hour had gone by, leaving you absolutely starving, unable to wait for the dinner Javi may or may not be bringing home. You scavenged through your fridge and pantry, pulling out sauce and spaghetti to make yourself pasta to at least tide you over. 

When Javi got home two hours past his normal arrival, you were shocked by the smell of pizza that filled your apartment as he walked through the door. You were even more shocked by the reaction he had to seeing the pot of noodles you had left out on the stove while you sat at the kitchen table to finish report cards to hand out at conferences. 

“Did you already fucking eat?” His tone was sharp and brash as he dropped the pizza box on the kitchen counter. 

“Well you’re home two hours later than normal, Javi. What was I supposed to do? Not eat? I’m more than capable of fending for myself if you’re not here with pizza.” You could feel pressure in your stomach rising, clenching your fists to try and hold in the last bit of patience you had. 

“That’s not the fucking point. You know I always get pizza for us on Friday, you know I’m bringing you dinner, I can’t help that things have been a shit show at work and I’m still trying to at least do something to take care of you.” 

Take care of you? Nuh, uh. That was the last straw. 

You stood up out of your chair, palms flat on the table as you glared at Javi. “Take care of me? Seriously, Javi? Like I’m some sort of helpless little puppy that can’t fend for themself? I am more than fucking capeable of taking care of myself, and this whole week you have been acting like I am literally incapable of doing anything in this house. Listen, I can tell things have been shitty for you at work, and this week has sucked for me too, but every time I try to go do something nice for you, something to actually help take care of you? You’re already halfway down my goddamn throat, telling me to stop or fix whatever it is I’m doing.” Your heart was racing, blood pumping through your veins so intensely, you could feel your hands begin to shake. 

“Because it’s my fucking job to take care of you!” He growled, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers as you stood with your hands on your hips, laughing at him in the least humorous way possible. 

“Your job? Your fucking job? You don’t think I’m capable of taking care of myself? That’s fucking great. So you can take care of me, but I can’t take care of you? Yeah, that makes sense. Un-fucking-believeable. I don’t know what the fuck has been going on with you this past week, but I can’t do this right now. I’m going on a fucking run.” You stormed to the door, throwing on your shoes as you white knuckled your keys in your grasp. 

“You fucking hate running!” Javi yelled, clenching his jaw before burying his hands in his face. 

“I don’t fucking care!” You grunted back, deliberately slamming the door behind you as you sauntered down the stairs of your apartment to the parking lot. Javi was right, there was no physical activity you hated more than running. You weren’t really sure what your plan was, just that you couldn’t stand there fighting with Javi anymore. You could feel the adrenaline flowing through you, enough to make you pick up your feet and actually begin sprinting down the sidewalk. You just kept running. Running until you could feel your sides begin to hurt, until your eyes began to sting from the tears welling behind them, until your chest felt like it was collapsing in on you, making you stop in the middle of the cement pathway in a full on breakdown. You could barely catch your breath, sobbing, as your hands dropped to your knees, your body trembling with each pathetic whimper. 

What the fuck were you doing? Why was Javi being like this? Why were you being like this? Why won’t he just talk to you? Why can you just not make things right? Why was the one person you loved more than anything in the world the one who was making you feel like you’d been run over by a semi-truck? 

Wiping your tears and snot with your sleeve, you took a deep breath and turned around to head home, determined to get to the bottom of whatever was causing you to both suffer through the worst week ever.

“Javi?” You peeked into the apartment, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“What?” He answered, his voice still sharp, making you wince as you walked over to the couch where he sat. 

“Javi… Javi what’s going on? I can’t do this anymore. If I did something to make you mad, I’m sorry, I just-” 

“Fucking work has just been a shit show, okay?” He snapped, cutting off your sentence. “I’m going to bed, I’m fucking exhausted.” He sighed as he got up, storming his way down the hallway, leaving you there alone on the couch, your bottom lip quivering as the tears began to stream down your face again, leaving you in a silent, sobbing heap on the couch. 

You waited a while before getting into bed with Javi, entering your bedroom in its already dark state to avoid crossing paths while the two of you finished your nighttime routines. You crawled into your comforter, eyes still red and puffy as you lay back to back with Javi, without so much as even a good night, let alone, an “I love you.” 

You could feel yourself stirring, tossing and turning in your sleep as you rolled over, outstretching your arm to an unfamiliarly empty space. You turned over to face Javi, now finding yourself wide awake at the fact that he wasn’t there next to you. Immediately, you shot up, calling out his name as you got out of bed, wondering where the hell he was. As you made your way into the hallway, you whispered his name once more before hearing the sounds of heavy, labored breathing coming from the living room. You rushed in, finding Javi sitting on the floor, his hand grasping at his chest with a look of pure panic on his face. 

“I feel like… Fuck, I feel like I can’t breathe. My heart is beating so fast.” He whimpered between his shaky breathing and sobs. “I just- I just kept seeing it over and over again in my head and I woke up and it still wouldn’t go away. Every when I wake up, it’s like it’s fucking haunting me. I feel like something’s crushing my chest. Baby, what’s happening?” He gasped as he looked up at you, helpless and desperate.  

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. You knew exactly what was happening. 

Immediately, you climbed into his lap, wrapping yourself around him as tightly as possible, stretching your arms as widely as you could around the broadness of his body. You tried to slow your breathing down, taking long inhales and exhales as you held him. “Just breathe, baby. It’s okay. You’re safe, I promise. I’m here. Deep breaths, okay?” 

“Osita, I can’t- Fuck. Fuck, fuck.” His voice was trembling, each word low and labored as he grasped at the back of his shirt you had draped over your back. 

“I know, baby. I know. I know it’s scary. I promise that you’re safe. I’m here, okay? Just breathe. In and out. I’m not leaving. You’re safe with me, I promise it will be okay.” Even though your heart was shattering, you did everything you could to be the calm in his storm, whispering your reassurances in your soft, sweet voice. Slowly but surely, you could feel the intensity of his breaths lessen, the rising and falling of his chest easing as he grasped tighter at your shirt, pulling you closer to him. 

“It’s okay, Javi. It’s okay. Listen, I’m gonna ask you to do something, alright? It’s gonna sound stupid but it’s gonna help.” You could feel him nod against your chest, his sobs finally beginning to slow. “Can you open your eyes and tell me 5 things you see?” You felt him lift his head, looking up at you, his face wet and red as his deep brown eyes locked with yours.

“Fuck, um, the- the wall, the carpet, the uh, um, the couch, shit, the TV, you. I can see you.” 

“Okay, perfect. What about 4 things you can touch, like feel in your hands?” You smiled gently at him as his breathing was now at a near normal rate. He raised up his arm, wiping his damp face with his palm. 

“My fucking wet face.” The both of you smirked, bringing you relief that Javi was already half laughing. “The carpet, my shirt, that always looks better on you than it does on me. Fuck, I can feel your skin, it’s always so soft. I love feeling it.” He ran one of his hands along the bare skin of your thigh, his fingers grasping at your flesh. 

“You’re doing great, baby. How about 3 things you can hear?” 

“Um, the cars outside, the fan, I could feel your heartbeat when I was on your chest.” He pressed his head back against you, raking your fingers through the ends of his damp curls, sticking to his forehead from his panicked sweat. 

Okay, almost done. What about 2 things you can smell?” You asked, running your fingers along the nape of his neck. 

“Your shirt smells like laundry. No matter how hard I try it just always smells better when you do it. And your shampoo. It always smells so sweet and fruity, it’s my favorite.” He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his hand gently tugging at the ends of your hair, twisting his fingers through it. 

“Okay, last one. Something you can taste.” He lifted his head, looking at you as he slid the hand in your hair to cradle your jaw, cupping your face. 

“You.” He rasped, his lips barely pressing against yours, feeling the hot breaths between your mouths as they met. He pulled back, pausing for a moment before he spoke. “Baby…I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. This week has been all my fault. I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything. It’s been so long since I’ve felt like this and I was scared. I was so fucking scared.” 

“Javi, it’s okay. Please, I just want to be here for you. You know you can tell me anything, okay? I love you, Javi. I love you more than anything. I know it hurts to talk about the things that scare you the most, but it’s even scarier watching the person you love hurt so badly and not knowing what to do to help them. I don’t care what it is, baby. There’s nothing you can tell me that’s gonna scare me away.” The look on his face nearly broke you. You could tell he was so hurt. Hurt by whatever had been haunting him. Hurt by the fact he wasn’t okay. Hurt by the fact that he had hurt you. 

“The project I’ve been working on this week… It all started because of how bad things are getting across the border in Mexico. A mom was out with her kids and they were all shot in a hit and run accident between two people making a drug trade. It was only an hour from here. I watched so many people do so many fucked up things that I thought I would never have to worry about again once I got home. And even if I did, I was going to be the only person I needed to worry about. But I couldn’t stop imagining that mom with her kids was you. You and our future kids. Every night since that fucking case file got set on my desk, I wake up to the same fucking nightmare of me running down the street, trying to grab you, push you, do anything to get you out of the way, but every fucking night I’m never fast enough. All I can do is watch as that bullet goes through you and you fall to the ground. I can’t let it happen to you. What if something goes wrong and I can’t protect you? I couldn’t fucking live with myself. I just want to keep you safe Osita. I’m so sorry. I love you too much to lose you.” 

Fuck. 

It wasn’t long before you were crying with him, squeezing him tightly once again, pressed against the warmth of his bare chest. That’s what had been going on. That’s why he had been so overbearing. That’s why he hadn’t been the Javi that you’d known and loved this week. On the night he’d told you the worst of the things he had seen and done away in Colombia, you had seen how his eyes had filled with regret, remorse, even anger. But this was different. Never once in the time that you’d known him had you seen Javi so scared. The look in his eyes when you found him sitting on the floor was one of pure terror. You couldn’t imagine what it would be like, waking up night after night to the image of Javi slipping away, let alone coming to grips with the reality that you couldn’t even fathom, and he knew far too well. Javi knew you had no problem sticking up for yourself. You were strong, tough, and fiercely independent- those were all things he loved so much about you. But those things weren’t enough to protect you from the dangers that haunted his past, or the terrifying reality of the present. 

Through the silent cries of your sobs, you felt Javi’s hand under your chin, lifting your head to force your eyes to meet. “Osita, I’m so sorry. Pease, please forgive me. I’ve been so lost in my own world this week because I’ve been so scared about what could happen to you. I had my head so far up my own ass that I thought I was doing everything I could to try and keep you safe in any way that I could, and instead I’ve just been a fucking dick to the person I care about more than anything in the world. I don’t wanna fight anymore, I fucking hate it. I’m so fucking sorry.” 

You draped your arms around his neck, your fingers tracing small, gentle circles along his back as you stared back at him. “I didn’t know, Javi. I didn’t know you were so scared. I’m so sorry. I don’t wanna fight anymore either. This has been the shittiest week. I missed you. I missed my best friend.” He pressed his hand against the back of your head, cradling it in his palm as he hugged you tightly. “You just have to promise me something, okay?” 

“Anything. Anything, baby.” 

“You have to promise me that you can’t keep all of this in. You have to promise me you’ll talk to someone about it. Me, your dad, people at work, Steve, a therapist, someone. There are so many people who care so much about you who just wanna help. You’re the strongest person I know, Javi, but it’s okay to not be strong sometimes.” He let out a long, shaky breath, darting his eyes down at the ground, the Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed. “You promise me?” You asked again, grabbing his face in your hands, swiping your thumb along his wet cheeks. 

“I promise.” 

In that moment, it was like the two of you could feel something in the air change. The tension lifting, the frustrated fog fading, the both of you desperately needing the other to know how sorry you were for the way you had acted. You found yourself face to face, eyes closing as your mouths came together in the most gentle, tender kiss. But even as your parted lips barely pressed against one another, you could practically feel how desperate you both were. 

“I love you.” 

Even though you whispered it against the soft, unshaven stubble of Javi’s cheek, it feels like you’re screaming it, determined to make sure he hears those 3 words as they fall from your lips, that he knows how much you mean each one, every second of every hour of every day. You can feel the heat in your chest as his hands grasp around the small of your back, pulling you closer as your bodies melt together, the tension straining in your muscles dissipating with each second he pulls you closer. 

“I love you too.” 

It felt like suddenly, all was right with the world again. The Javi you knew and loved had come back, returning home to you. All of the fear and sadness was replaced by a rampant desperation to know how much you needed him, almost as much as he needed to show you how desperately he craved you, too. The tingle built at the base of your spine as his fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt, his hand creeping further up your belly, pressing against the curves of your sides. You raised your arms as his fists balled up the worn fabric, carefully lifting it over your head as his hot breath ran against your neck, leaving gentle, tender kisses along your newly exposed skin. Your hands pressed against his hips, tugging at the waistband of his cotton sleep shorts as he locked his arms under your legs, bringing you both to stand as you wrapped your legs around the small of his back, the skin of your bare chests brushing against each other as he carried you toward the bedroom. Each kiss of your parted lips was like a plea, begging that the other would forgive you, that despite the way you had treated each other there was no one in the world that you loved more, that you would rather be with right here, right now. 

Crossing the threshold to the bedroom, Javi leaned his body over the mattress, carefully placing you down in the warm, tangled sheets of your bed that had felt so cold and harsh only a few hours ago. You looked up at Javi standing at the end of the bed as he nudged his shorts off of his hips, leaving him exposed, the clothes now pooling around his ankles. Crawling over you, he hooked his fingers around the waistband of your underwear, the only thing left on your body after your shirt had been left behind in the living room. You lifted your hips, helping him shuffle the fabric down your legs as he ran his hands along the meat of your thighs. He leaned over you, the temples of your foreheads pressed against each other as his fingers danced along the skin of your bare legs, barely grazing against your entrance. You could already feel the slick of your arousal pooling under his touch, the calloused pads of his fingers ever so gently tracing up and down your folds, making you shutter. 

“Javi... Please.” Your voice trembled as Javi nodded, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You gasped as you felt the thickness of his fingers heedfully pushing themselves inside you, arching your back against the bed as his thumb delicately pressed on your clit. Each thrust of his hand in and out of your heat was dragging and deliberate, the rubbing of his fingertip along your sensitive bundle of nerves making your moans muffled against his chest. Every touch of his hand made you feel better than the last, but there was something primal about the way that you needed him inside you, how you ached to feel him buried deep in heat, to feel every inch of him. “I need you. Please, I need you.” You whimpered against his skin, making him lift his head to look at you as you watched the chocolate brown of his eyes grow darker with lust. He worked in silence, removing his fingers as he stroked himself, making your cunt throb in anticipation as you felt the tip of his cock stroke along your entrance, a moan escaping from your parted lips as he guided himself inside you. 

“Fuck…” He whispered, pushing himself in further, inch by inch, before bottoming out, his tip bumping against your cervix. You wrapped your legs around his back, doing anything you could to bring him closer to you, trying to melt your bodies into one and hold him so tightly you could never let him float away again. You dug your nails into his muscular back as he began to thrust in and out of you, taking his time with each stroke, as if he was savoring every sweet moment. “I love you, Osita. I love you so much, baby. Gonna make you feel good, okay? I promise.” It was like you could feel his words with each stroke, the promise that had fallen from his lips burying itself deep inside you with every rock of his hips against yours. Your bedroom was filled with the sounds of your mixed moans and skin hitting against each other. Even when no words escaped from your mouths, it was almost as if you could hear each other through the sounds between the two of you, coating your walls. 

I love you. 

I need you. 

I’m so sorry. 

His palm pressed along the sheen of your skin, snaking down your body to rub against your clit, intensifying the throbbing that you already felt growing between your legs. With each thrust of his hips, his cock pounded deeper into your heat, hitting the spot within you that had the arousal beginning to pool intensely within your belly, that creeping familiar feeling building at the base of your spine. You dug your nails deeper into Javi’s skin, grasping for the damp curls at the nape of his neck, your whimpers growing louder and more desperate with each stroke as you could feel yourself beginning to crumble beneath him. 

“Javi, pleaseee. Bab-ahhhhh, I’m so close.” You felt your cunt begin to clench around his length, making him moan as each push and pull of hips became more intense, punching against your g-spot and making your writhe under his touch.

“I know you are, Hermosa. Cum for me baby, cum all over me and show me how you’re mine.” 

His words make something inside you snap, making you shake and your body tense as your arms and legs tightened their grip around Javi, crying out his name as your orgasm rushed through you. His lips met yours, swallowing your moans as his pumps became frantic and sloppy, only taking a few more before he was chasing his own high. “Fuck, baby. You’re so fucking perfect. Te amo más que a nada. Soy tyuo para siempre. (I love you more than anything, I’m yours, forever.). Fuck, I’m gonna- shit- I’m- ahhhhhhh” With one last push, you could feel him throbbing inside you, spilling against your walls, pumping every last drop of himself inside you as he slumped into your body, your hearts racing, chests rising and falling as one. The two of you laid there for a moment, your bodies tangled in each other, letting each of your breaths sync as you came down from your blissed out highs. Javi hissed as he turned over to pull out of you, making you whine at the loss, before rolling over to lay your head on his chest. You could feel his arm wrap around you to pull you in closer, his fingers tracing along your shoulder blade as you draped your arm across his stomach. 

“I guess that’s one way to make up for this shitty week.” You giggled as Javi shook his head, joining you, the both of you glad to hear the sweet sounds of each other's laughter for the first time in much too long. “Can we never do this again? I never wanna fight like that ever again. These last few days have sucked without you.” 

“Never. This was the fucking worst. Never again. I promise.” He kissed the top of your head, burying his nose in your messy curls as he held you just a little bit tighter. 

“Okay.” You smiled against his warm, tanned skin before looking up at him. “You wanna know the worst part?” 

“What, baby?” 

“I didn’t even get to eat any of that pizza.” Javi chuckled as he shook you playfully in his grasp, making you squirm and snicker as he held you. 

“There’s still some left in the fridge. Let me go get it and you can tell me all about your week, okay?” He kissed your forehead as he pushed himself out of bed, making his way to the door. 

“Okay. We’ve got a lot to catch up on, I didn’t even get to tell you how I had to call Mark’s mom in the middle of math because he stuck a crayon up his nose yesterday.” The both of you snorted as Javi looked back at you. 

“I can’t wait to hear all about it.” 

Taglist: @cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed

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[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Older Male Yandere x Young Female Reader

I don’t want this to sound/look bad, but a new yandere who has DILF energy. NOT an actual DILF (he doesn’t have any children…yet), but he could basically pass as one since he’s amazing with children and is on the older side (so like 40s?)

I’m sorry…I kinda have a thing for older, mature, responsible men. And I just wanna be a baby girl for them sometimes (yes don’t worry I’m an adult adult, not someone who just legally became an adult; I know about relationship power dynamics, potential for abuse, etc.)

P.S. There needs to be older yandere men in general (like genuinely older than reader darling). It’s such an untapped archetype

Thanks!!! 💝

Yandere! Male! Dilf! NSFW asmrtist! x Fem! regular! Superfan! Reader

Hmm, I actually had problems thinking of what to put as a plot... Then my keyboard autocorrected Dilf to D*ldo and I was like 👁️👄👁️ and then WAIT. HOW ABOUT A NSFW ASMRTIST? (since you know, d*ldo is sexual and some people please themselves with the toy when they listen-- you get the gist)

I remembered a certain ASMRtist(?) that introduced me to NSFW yandere audios, so I'm naming the yan from him. He just did one from what I know? But "Hot Boy Summer" will have a special place in my heart bajwkdkxmf

Note: this one has explicit NSFW in this one, just putting it out. Daddy kink, but only mentioned once.

Yandere! NSFW asmrtist name: Rose

"Another Rosas banger"

"It was so good help"

"My legs just spread apart"

"Daddy just served dinner AND I'M EATING WELL TONIGHT"

As Rose posted on a certain subreddit for NSFW audiophiles, people immediately flooded the post. They upvoted, commented, some dared to share.

But to a lot, it's a sweet, dirty secret that they listen to NSFW audios. Especially yandere audios.

I mean, who in their right mind want somebody as obsessed and possessive as yanderes? Even in fiction, they are weird!

Well, not for Rose and his audiences.

He feeds into their fantasies. May it be CNC, full on NC, BDSM, or his audience's favorites: Yandere Dilf audios.

God, people eat them up like no other.

Due to this, Rose, with his username RosasAudios, achieved some kind of cult following. Close to a million followers, he made being an NSFW voice actor a full time job.

His naturally deep voice with a little bit of huskiness, a little bit of accent that's vaguely SE Asian, and an undertone of sweetness, made people giggle and writhe in their bed. And to those more peculiar, he feeds into their daddy issues.

He was never loud in his audios. Just a modulated talking tone, maybe even a whisper. So when the NSFW part happens, due to the binaural nature of his audios, it feels like he's really there when you listen to his audios. Whispering hot breath into your ear as the wet sfx filled your senses.

He loved the attention. But at most, he looks at it as a past time that provides enough money to live in slight luxury due to commissions and subscriptions.

In reality, he's a 40-ish year old man, living alone in a suburban neighborhood. Bookish in nature, he dons a soft, yet reliable look. Messy hair that covers his forehead, thick framed black eyeglasses, a carefully trimmed short beard that clings to his olive skin, soft, resting eyes that feels like it soothes one's soul whenever they look at them, a tall frame with enough buff-ness that one can rest on his chest with comfort, and an outfit consisting of light academia clothes of sweaters, shirts, pants, vests, etc. Laugh lines and slight wrinkles decorated his handsome face.

Even then, neighbors swoon for the man. Even married people.

He's sweet, reliable, generous, kind, good with kids. Why doesn't he have a spouse again?

With a gentle shake to his head, he scratches his neck and whispers bashfully with a red face.

"I'm waiting for somebody."

That made people swoon over him more.

As people longingly look at the lonely man, he bows to them and enters his home to record another set of audios for the highest tier on his subscription.

And, despite having a handful of people there, there's one person he's excited on making a dedicated, personal audio for.

You

And you? A superfan. You've been listening to Rose for a long time. Dare I say, one of his first, if not the first, regular.

You discovered him first when your friend introduced you to the subreddit.

His post, not getting that much attention due to being plain. No that much tags nor flairs at all. Just an inconspicuous "first audio [M4F] [Vanilla] [yandere]" and that was it.

When you listened, the mic had a weird quality to it, but god where you aroused due to how genuine it sounds. Like he's specifically talking to you with how... Personal it sounds.

And yeah, his first audios were not for you at all. Just your typical audios for a lot of people.

So, you lurked on his account, being his first follower.

You commented on the post also.

"first audio? Are you sure? You sound so good! This is my first time here in the subreddit. And if a newcomer like you already has this quality, I know I'll have a good time here."

Lengthy, but it gave Rose the boost of confidence he needs.

So, naturally, he replied.

"thank you so much! I just saw this subreddit one day and, by sheer boredom, decided to try it. It's weird, but thrilling. And it's your first too? I'm glad to be your first 😉"

He felt the wink and joke was too risky, but you replied in barks so, despite being bewildered due to not used to internet in-jokes, he laughed and decided to continue the grind.

Even as he continued to pump audios, you never failed to listen to every. Single. One.

You were in love with his audios and voice.

And he was falling for you.

God, is it weird to fall for a stranger on the internet?

So, by the time he reached 100k followers, he decided to do a small meet and greet online to those who can decipher the message.

And you, feral little minx you are, deciphered it in a jiffy and slammed the answer on his inbox.

You were the first too.

Rose, frozen, shakily sent you the zoom meeting room.

Nobody other than you deciphered the message yet.

He wants to talk to you one on one.

So, as he fixes himself and slaps his own cheeks to wake him up, he nervously waited for you to join the meeting with the password.

Then, he saw you.

Gorgeous, beautiful you.

His eyes sparkled like it didn't sparkle before. His heart, painfully beating on his chest and his ears, overflowed with attraction and love as he drank in your figure.

"Rosas omg hi! We finally got to talk one on one. Well, as one on one as a video call is."

Oh, how he groans. Your voice is sweet and lovely in his ears.

"Hi, y/nDarling. I can't believe I get to see the face of the person who has been with me since... Forever!"

"Right?! And damn. Rosas, take this with full confidence, alright? You're fucking hot."

Rose shakes his head with a chuckle.

"You... You're as cheeky as your typings."

You stuck out your tongue childishly and he laughs. His deep voice making you shiver.

"Oh and, you're actually old?"

"ouch?"

"OH MY GOD NO WHAT I MEAN IS, since you frequently make dilf audios, and you're actually one--"

Rose blinks. You consider him a dilf even in person?

He leans forward with a lopsided smirk.

"So, you consider me as a daddy you'd like to fuck?"

"No, stop STOP I DIDN'T MEAN THAT! WAIT, I MEAN IT, WAIT OH MY GOD ROSAS PLEASE STOP TEASING ME."

And as he laughs loudly, he knew you were the one.

He continued to talk to you for a long time, due to his other followers being quite slow in deciphering the message.

He did make the message with you solving it immediately in mind, while the others will struggle.

They were not you, after all.

Why would he care?

When he ended the video call, he had a silly, lovesick grin on his face.

He wants to make an audio.

And that audio was his most viral due to being so genuinely feral, lovesick, and longing it is for the listener.

"Ugh... Fuck, you're so tight..."

"Bend over for me, love. Don't you fucking dare crawl away."

"yes, just like that. Open your mouth, stick out your tongue like that..."

Rose, in his recording studio (his walk in closet), recorded the personal audio for you. You requested CNC, predator and prey, DILF, and breeding, along with other tags that can make a victorian lady die from how obscene it is.

At first, when he opened his subscriptions, he was bewildered by your wild and straightforward requests, but now he's used to it. Maybe even love it.

He imagined you bending over for him, your sweet hole gripping his c0ck as he pistons inside of you. Your tear stricken face, aroused with fear and desire, looks at him, begging for more.

Rose flinches, as he lets out a loud groan to the microphone. Cumming all over his hands.

Hey, it helps with authenticity, okay?

Rose sighs, imagining you cradled into his tight embrace as he said the last lines of the script.

"You're mine, y/n. Nobody else's, just mine."

And, he ends the audio with a sloppy kiss.

He slumped down to his chair, spent yet satisfied.

But he wants more.

Yes, he did screenshot when you video called him, but that was it. It was years ago too, and he needs more material.

After cleaning up, he spun around and went to the computer to edit his raw audio with sound effects.

At first, it was weird hearing his voice saying all of the deprived shit he said, but now it's just work.

But with your audios, he was meticulous. Making sure to put as much genuine wet sfx (from him masturbat1ng), and atmospheric sfx to make your listening experience the best of all. Yours were the longest too, at least climaxing twice every personal audio.

Can you tell he has favoritism for you?

And, when he finished editing, it was already morning.

Sending the audio to you, he stood up, stretching, and went to the kitchen to make himself coffee.

It was supposed to be a typical Tuesday. Nothing that much happens in this suburbs, let alone the town he's in.

So, he turned on the radio, grabbed his coffee mug, and went outside to watch the beautiful sun coming up to the sky.

Settling in his usual chair on his patio, he drank his coffee, greeted people as they passed by, doing their own thing.

The wind was kind of cold, but nothing unwelcomed as Rose's attention got picked up by a moving truck just in front of his home.

Huh, finally. A new face to the suburbs.

He drank his coffee, before coughing it out when he saw a familiar face getting out of the car following it.

It was you.

How?

What?

Why?

Huh?

He watched with wide eyes as he watches you bounce around in excitement as you helped the movers take out your things and into your home.

He doesn't know what to do. He wants to run to you, embrace you and twirl you around.

But no, not yet.

Why are you here?

By some kind of sick joke, he thought you were stalking him.

But no, that's too much.

You're too sweet. You can't do that.

So, he just watched, waiting for you to notice him.

But you didn't, too busy on your own work to notice the older man on his patio looking at you with such longing and desire.

With you finally going inside your home, he ran inside the house and slumped down behind the door. He clutched his chest, eyes wide, blood pumping, soul rattled.

You were here.

You came to him.

He gulped, shakily standing up. The coffee mug forgotten outside but who gives a shit right now.

You're so close to him, within his grasp, and he will make sure to utilize it.

He went to the kitchen, immediately whipping up breakfast food from your country of origin before stopping.

Were you allergic to anything?

God is he stupid?!

4 decades of being alive yet he forgets if you have any allergies?

His hand shook before scrapping the food altogether.

What should he do?

He decided to whip up something relatively tasty and safe before letting it slightly cool down.

He rushes to his room, frantically showering and lathering and cleaning as much as he could, getting dressed in his casual fit that looked like he just "carelessly put together despite how amazing it looked". He trimmed his beard, dabbing on serums and moisturizers, concealers on his eyebags, before running downstairs.

He grabbed the food before rushing to your doorstep.

Wait, would it be weird?

Wouldn't it be awkward?

He did do NSWF audios, so that means you pleased yourself to his voice, right?, ( God please let it be real that you did use his audios as material)

So, it's like... Maybe seeing your teacher in public?

No, the comparison is off.

He knocked on the door.

"hello, do you..."

You froze.

He froze.

Time seemed to stop as the both of you looked at each other.

You recognized him, he recognized you.

"Ah... Rosas...?"

He grinned, laughing gently. You shivered, hearing the voice you unconsciously conditioned your body to become aroused in person for the first time.

"Hey, Y/n. Welcome to our neighborhood."

He revels in the desire in your eyes as you squeezed your thighs together.

You both became somehow good friends.

It was still awkward, seeing as how much you listened to Rose moaning and doing NSFW stuff.

But it didn't overwhelm your excitement.

It's like, seeing your idol irl, but you're his neighbor.

It made you giddy, happy, and nervous.

Meanwhile, Rose loves this new development.

He's not going to die alone.

You were there with him.

God gave you to him on a cement platter.

At first, it was just an innocent pass by.

He would pass by your house, looking at the inside by your window, his mouth whispering loving words to your figure inside. Then he got a bit risky by going boldly to your house at night to spy on you sleep.

But he wanted to know more about you. He ached, craved to know more.

So, with little to no morality left, and the only source he knew of extreme ways to show affection are his audios, he decided to fully embrace being a yandere.

At first, he still felt guilty. You inviting him over to talk, he pocketing some of your mundane things like a sock, and him bringing hidden cameras and microphones to plant inside your home.

He shivers. The thought of seeing you inside your home so vulnerable and unprotected is making him aroused.

Next, he does the next script. Using your sock to pleasure himself to make the moans and groans genuine.

The feeling of your sock, the knowledge that you wore this is making him burst at the seams.

"God, you make me feral, love."

"you're only mine, only mine. Nobody else to have you, just me."

"Yeah, cum for daddy. Come undone, baby."

How he wishes to tell you these words in person.

And, as he finishes with a jolt and a loud groan, he imagines you laying on his chest and him combing your hair with his fingers.

By the morning, he finished editing the audio, and uploads it.

He waits for you to listen to it.

He didn't need to wait for long, as the coms crackle with your giggle.

He turns on the hidden cameras, and saw you dive to your bed with headphones on, watching you close your eyes and probably imagining him.

He saw you look longingly at the window that faces his house, and he grins at the thought of you wanting him so bad.

He watches as you writhe and relax, your hands going under your clothes as you followed what's happening on the audio. He felt himself harden once more.

Fingers playing with yourself, and his hand encircling his hardened c0ck.

He pants in want, seeing you bite your lip and arch your back from the pleasure. Your eyes trembling with the euphoria.

He continued to please himself to you pleasing yourself, groaning and grinding into his hand. Wishing it was you.

And, as you came, he threw his head back, breathless and dizzy from the overwhelming pleasure.

As he stayed there lying, he watches you do the same thing again. Looking longingly at the window.

"Soon, love." Rose whispered to the computer monitor. "I will have you in my arms soon."

Both of you were relatively normal after that. Like you didn't just pleasure yourself to his voice and him doing the same to you.

But the unmistakable hunger in both of your eyes and teasing touches were a sign that things are going to break soon.

And he just waits until you can't do it anymore.

Yet he waits.

He'll continue to upload audios.

Make you ache for him so badly, knowing he's just a few meters away.

Who will break first?

But in the end, you will still end up in his arms.

"Come to me, love."

And he'll whisper to your ear lovingly as he breeds you in an animalistic way.

Don't you want that, baby?

#yandere boyfriend #yandere imagines #yandere male #yandere writing #male yandere x reader #tw yandere #yandere x darling #yandere x you #yandere fic #lizzaneiaelizalde

[odoraful]

Somnium pt2

zayne finally meets with you again in his dreams, though he is unprepared to face the harsh truth

read part 1 🙇‍♀️ content: dawnbreaker!zayne x reader; a direct continuation from zayne’s anecdote 'still in dark' (spoiler warning); 2.2k words; angst :( reading bgm ♫ It is The Nature of Dreams to End (Julia)

It took a few seconds for Zayne’s brain to register that he should reply to you. 

Stop staring with your mouth agape. Say something. 

The words were lodged in his throat.

You fidgeted with your hair, eyes turned downwards. “Excuse my manners. I should stop addressing you incorrectly and ask for your name.”

Zayne cringed internally. A great start — he now gave the impression that he was deliberately ignoring you for your supposed impoliteness. 

“No, please, it's alright.” The sentence tumbled out of him. “My name is Zayne.” His arms remained glued at his sides. 

“It's the same as his… everything is the same,” you murmured, shaking your head in disbelief. Your brow was in a deep furrow, as if you someone had given you some incalculable equation to solve. He could tell that a million questions were flooding your thoughts right now. 

“If it’s any consolation,” he tried his best to give a reassuring smile, but he felt his lips tremble as he lifted the corners of his mouth, “I also have questions about how we’ve come to meet.”

You raised your head, finally meeting his gaze. In all his dreams with you, he'd never seen such worry on your face. He felt a crushing urge to take you in his arms, smooth a hand over your hair, whisper in your ear that he was here for you, that he was here to protect you. Instead, he squeezed his fists tight.

“Then, should we go somewhere more comfortable and have a talk?” You offered, turning around to face the pavilion suspended on the river. You lifted a hand to shade your eyes. “The sun is too bright to be standing outside.” 

Zayne nodded. It would be too embarrassing for him to say that the golden sunlight targeting you was likely a product of his own subconscious. Moving to your side, the two of you headed towards the bridge leading to the pavilion. As he walked, Zayne relaxed his fists, feeling the sting in his palm from his own digging fingernails.

Your eyes went wide with alarm. “Humans that slowly transform into wanderers? That’s horrifying.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, goosebumps forming on your skin.

Sitting now on the bench that lined the inside of the pavilion, the two of you conversed about your respective worlds. With embarrassment, he mentioned how he dreamt about you since he was 12. You laughed at how shy he was getting, as he turned his head away from yours, not wanting you to see the break in his coolness. When you spoke, he acted as a dutiful listener, despite having already extensively researched the fabled Linkon City. It felt surreal to hear your experience first hand. It made him feel less crazy to hear everything he learned was true. 

“And are there hunters to help control this? To keep everyone safe?” You asked. 

Zayne inhaled a long breath. He looked out past your shoulder at the shimmering river. He turned solemn, his eyes unfocused. 

“I don’t know of anybody in my world who has an evol, as you’ve called it, besides me.” 

He felt no pride in owning this power. It was a burden he shouldered since he was a child. Yet, he understood the gravity of the responsibility forced upon him. If he abandoned this role, what would become of his world? The cards he were dealt gave him a singular purpose in life. 

That was until you entered his life. 

You remained silent, digesting the information he had given and what it implied. Zayne felt acutely aware of every one of his senses. The rhythm of his breaths, the weight of his hands clasped in his lap, the stiffness in his posture. 

“You save people’s lives.”  His eyes shifting back to you, Zayne unexpectedly saw a wistful look on your face. “It reminds me a lot of my Zayne.”

This should have been the part where you condemned him, like everyone else in his world. Called him a monster, a killer, nothing but a story to scare children into behaving well. If he wasn’t mistaken, the faint smile on your face was one of admiration. Never had he seen himself as heroic. Those few words you spoke made him crumple. He placed his head in his hands. Not only that, you said it reminded you of your Zayne. 

He heard the rustle of your dress beside him as you sat closer to him. Your legs almost flush against his. If he leaned barely a millimetre to his right, your arms would touch. 

“I want to know,” he started, finding his voice again. “In the past, you never realised I was someone else. What changed in that last dream?”

Humming in thought, you tapped a finger on your chin. “I’m not too sure about it myself.” You began to chuckle sheepishly.  “I do have a working theory, but I would need to…” Your sentence trailed off. Zayne stared at you, confused. You seemed to shrink under his gaze. 

“Is it alright if I…” Biting your lip, you fidgeted with your fingers. “Touch you?” 

What kind of theory is this? Zayne could never guess your next move. Freely speaking your mind, acting on your first instinct, these were traits so foreign to him. Your unpredictability was something he loved and feared.

“Of- of course,” he blurted out, less composed than he would’ve liked to show. He prayed his cheeks didn’t betray him by turning bright pink. Turning his body towards you, he rested his hands on his thighs, waiting for what you would do. 

You reached a hand and gently cupped his cheek. 

Unable to contain his reaction, Zayne let out a shuddering breath at the contact as he leaned in. The casual affection that was so natural for you to show completely overwhelmed him. As you leaned in, your eyes slowly examined him, moving up and down his face. All Zayne could do was yield under your attention. Despite no words being exchanged, he felt more vulnerable to you than ever before. 

He grasped your hand, holding it against his face. You felt so real. How could his mind conjure something so tangible? The shape of your knuckles, the creases on your fingers, all of it was warm and alive under his cool touch. He was certain that if he touched the underside of your wrist, he would feel your steady pulse. 

“Zayne.” Your voice was a hesitant whisper. “You’re hurting me…” 

Caught up in exhilaration, Zayne didn’t notice how tight his grip had become. Your fingers were being crushed together by his. He immediately released his hold, cursing inwardly at himself. What was he thinking? Your Zayne wouldn’t have done that. He wouldn’t have been so aggressive, so overly emotional. 

“I remember now.” Feeling your breath graze his skin as you spoke, he fought off the urge to shiver. “I started to notice that there was something about your gaze…” Your eyes softened with sympathy. “There’s no warmth to it.”

Your hand trailed down his cheek to his neck. “And when I touch you.” Tingles followed wherever your fingers went. “You tense up everytime.” Emphasising your point, your hand rested on his shoulder, forcing him to relax his muscles. “Almost like you’re scared of me, somehow.”

No, this wasn’t how it was meant to go. He had expected you to say something trivial — his appearance was slightly off, or he had just forgotten to say or do something that was an obvious tell. These were easy fixes for him.

Zayne screwed his eyes shut, defenceless against your pity.

After all these dreams living in snippets as this doctor, this perfect version of himself, he still couldn’t get it right. No matter how well he could copy, from watching all those medical show episodes or tasting as many desserts as his barren world could offer, there were fundamental things about himself he couldn’t change.  

“I-I don’t understand.” He said, strained. He felt like a child again, terrified of making the wrong move. “I thought I did everything right.”

“You did!” You exclaimed. Bringing your other hand to his other shoulder, you gently squeezed them. “You treat me so kindly whenever we met, but my Zayne is the one back in my world, in Linkon.”

Your hands withdrew from his shoulders. “And in any case, this-” You gestured around, “- is just a dream. I might not even remember this exact conversation when I wake up. I don’t think I’m even real in this-”

“Don’t say that.” He snapped. 

His voice seemed to reverberate around the garden. The severity of his tone silenced you instantly. 

Sitting still was too restricting for him now. He ran a hand through his hair, needing to move around. He stood up, nausea swirling at the pit of his stomach. Rubbing his eyes with the edges of his hands, he saw stars in the vision. 

To hell with composure.

“I’ve known you for so, so long.” It was difficult to speak when every word constricted his throat. “Do not tell me that you’re not real because then everything I’ve worked towards would be for nothing.” 

You cocked your head, confused. “Everything you’ve worked towards?”

Sparing himself the shame, he stayed quiet. He wouldn’t tell you how he spent his entire life in a fruitless endeavour to become the person you loved. It was a shattering realisation he arrived at. He was nothing but an imposter, a poor imitation. He could never be your Zayne. Desperation bubbled rapidly within him. The pressure reached a tipping point. 

“You told me before that you’d always stay by my side" His tone wavered, struggling to keep stable between his quickened breaths. "Don’t leave me, please.” He pleaded, face contorting with agony. This loss would be more painful than any Abomination strike to his heart.

Your eyes were downcast, shoulders slumped. “Of course I can meet with you again, but I don’t think I can stay with you forever.” You wrapped your arms around yourself. “I’m so, so sorry, Zayne. It- it just doesn’t feel right for some reason.”

The floor of the pavilion swayed under his feet. The tranquillity of the garden felt more like a mockery now than a solace. Why did you have to see through him? Could he have prevented this from happening? Seized by his own racing thoughts, he didn’t even detect you moving towards him. You encircled his waist with your arms and he crumpled into the hug instinctually. Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes. Nobody would be there to comfort him when he woke up. He’d share his misery with only the birds that nested at his window in the mornings. So, he savoured the feeling of your hand rubbing his back soothingly, letting your warmth consume him.

”Perhaps there’s an equivalent version of me in your world.” He could just hear your voice over the thumping heartbeat in his ears. “If there’s me and my Zayne in Linkon, then shouldn’t there also be someone for you?”  

A version of you? He couldn’t begin to process what you were saying. No one could replace you, it was a ridiculous suggestion. How easily you would brush him aside like this.

He dared to look at your face once more. There was no contempt in your expression like he thought there would be. There was genuine care in your eyes. Of course, you were always the hopeful one. 

“It’s not too late for you to find out who you truly are, Zayne.”

That was the last thing he heard before he was abruptly pulled from you. 

Dreams seldom have satisfying endings to them — bouncing from one scene to the next, blurring beginning, middle, end, and finishing far too soon. And so, like the snapping of thread, he was flung back into the waking world. 

When Zayne awoke from previous dreams, he’d always feel at peace. However, this time he jolted awake, gasping for air. Taking in deep breaths to steady himself, he saw the blankets had been kicked aside onto the floor. Sweat slicked the back of his shirt and beaded down the side of his head. 

Zayne sat up against the bed head, letting his head roll to the side to gaze out the window. The sun was just beginning to rise, the landscape outside diffused by pale blue light. A bird flew up to the sill, hopping curiously on the ledge. It then settled down, legs disappearing into its feathery body. 

He opened the drawer of his bedside table and wearily reached for his journal and pen. With a heavy heart, he scrawled down everything he could recall about the dream. Where he was, what you wore, what you said. The occasional lilting chirp from the bird cut through his pondering.

“Another version of me.”

Could there be someone like you in his world? Someone who would want to spend time with him? He’d never thought to talk to anyone else, he only ever needed you. 

He finished his final sentence, the writing almost unintelligible.

“Who you truly are.” 

When he wasn’t chasing down the person in his head, when he wasn’t trying to be someone else, who was he, truly? 

a/n: thank you for reaching the end xx 🥹 you've hit the surprise author note! i'm putting it here this time cuz i didn't want to detract from the main story with all my yapping at the start! i thought the bgm had a title fitting for my interpretation of dawnbreaker zayne's arc, and it does have the appropriate melancholic vibe to it :') this was my first time writing something longer and angst-ier, so apologies if it reads awkwardly D: i will continue honing my writing! i wish you a lovely day or night <3

#it did hurt a little to write this because i wish only for zayne's happiness in every timeline :'( #but i thought it would be interesting to imagine a different kind of continuation for dawnbreaker zayne! #✏️〰odorawrites #love and deepspace #l&ds #lads #love and deepspace zayne #zayne love and deepspace #l&ds zayne #lads zayne #zayne #love and deepspace x reader #lads x reader #zayne x reader #zayne x mc #zayne x you #dawnbreaker

[mondaymelon]

— 𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗮𝘂: 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗰𝗼𝗹𝘆𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆? ♥

:feat~ diluc, childe, kaeya, zhongli x gn!reader:

(warnings~ obsessive behavior, cult au!)

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open!) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside

DILUC is just about as dedicated as they come.

And while his schedule is tightly packed, he spends every free minute he has by your side… Just listening to your voice energizes him more than any amount of rest will! No matter what has happened in the hours prior, everything, all worries, just seem to wash away when he faces your holy presence!

You are a pure, perfect being in his eyes.

Every breath, every step you take, should be heralded as a gift.

The only thing stopping him from abandoning all of his duties and staying with you for every waking second is… well, you, who insists that he has to do his work too. And if he disobeyed that order, you’d be upset at him, and he certainly can’t have the creator like that! If you glared at him… told him that you despised him… well, Diluc might as well just die.

Because he lived for you, and if you found him useless, then that was just what he was. He was what you determined he was.

And that fact almost reassured him.

“Diluc… you have to make sure not to overwork yourself.” His head is in your lap, eyes blissfully closed as you comb your fingers through his fluffy red hair.

“Right now, I feel better than I ever have, my savior.” ♥

Blissfully loyal CHILDE.

Who trails after you all day, every day, wanting to help you in any way he can! It was your voice that spoke to him, comforted him in his darkest times, it was you, the miracle who saved his existence. He doesn’t even want to imagine what’d he be like if you weren’t there for him… Most likely still, cold… with noone to bury his sorry corpse.

So now, he has to repay you, no matter what. He can’t just take your kindness for granted!!

After all, without you, he wouldn’t even be here. So, he’s dedicated himself to you, his life, his love, to do something, anything to benefit you.

It doesn’t matter if the other fatui members and cultists think ill of him - because they don’t matter. All that matters is you, you who is always on his mind.

“Childe?”

“Yes, my majesty?”

“I don’t know what’d I do without you.”

His eyes widen, just by a fraction, and his steady breathing hitches.

Has his heart stopped? Was this the afterlife? How come he couldn’t hear anything anymore?

“...I…” He can barely utter a word, and it’s less than a whisper.

“Is it so selfish that I want you all to myself?” ♥

Overprotective KAEYA, who can’t stand it when other cultists try to take his place.

And why should he stay silent? He has to make sure his position by your side will never change, otherwise, you might tired of him!

His flirtatious side hides his more desperate one - desperate for your attention. Your affection - your shy touches. He wants you, all of you.

But he can’t be so selfish and hasty. After all, the Savior has blessed millions and earned countless devout followers, and he’s just one of many.

Still, a small part of him has hope.

Hope that maybe, just maybe, he’s special to you.

He could be that greedy, at least, right?

The greed that fuels his racing, aching, heart whenever he’s by your side, listening to your beautiful voice with a love-sick smile.

“Kaeya, don’t you ever get tired of following me around? You should have some time for yourself… am I being a bother…?” You sheepishly glance at the blue-haired man whose walking next to you, shoulder brushing against yours. 

“Never, for as long as I live, will that ever happen.” ♥

Unwavering ZHONGLI, who will follow you to the grave and beyond if you will it.

For you, he’d do anything.

And that’s no understatement.

Ever since the death of his past lover, he had grieved, conspired against the heavens, let hatred run amok in his heart. He had directed his sorrows toward you, set his sharp gaze to you, and sought to seek revenge. Sought to seek answers. 

Why had she died?

What had she done wrong?

Why did you have to take her away from me?

But all of his troubles seemed to dissolve when you descended. It was as soon as he saw you in person, eyes glittering with unspeakable knowledge and the air of absolute fragility - as if one misspoken word could fracture you, forever.

And since that day, he had sworn to repent. Sworn to be by your side until the end of time.

“Zhongli, why do you always act so indebted to me? You’re free to act more comfortably, if you like.” You glanced at his form as he poured you a cup of tea. The man only smiled in return, before staring up at you with his seemingly golden eyes.

“You are my savior, and you deserve to be treated as such.” ♥

(a/n) inspiration is back along with a bailu theme yippeeeee yeah so im not sick anymore hehehasfadgdg

#★ ˎˊ˗ mondaymelon #astronetwrk #favoniuslibrary #sagau zhongli #yandere sagau #sagau x reader #sagau #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #x reader #sagau cult au #self aware genshin #genshin cult au #genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #genshin zhongli #zhongli x reader #zhongli genshin impact #zhongli #x gender neutral reader #genshin impact diluc #diluc imagines #kaeya x gender neutral reader #kaeya #yandere childe #yandere genshin x you #yandere genshin impact #genshin oneshots #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin imagines

[samkerrworshipper]

tourniquet

leah williamson x reader

warnings: smut, self harm, hurt n comfort with fluff n protective leah. 18+ minors dni.

There was country music thrumming across the living room, drowning out the background noise that came from the bustling London street outside the door of Leah’s house. You were both lying down on her couch, lazily making out, Leah was on top of you, her lips moving rhythmically against your own. It was sweet, the taste of Leah’s spearmint gum and glass of wine welcome on your tongue as you granted her access to your mouth. All you could hear was the sound of Chris Stapleton and laboured breathing as you both took a break to breathe every once and a while. The telly was playing behind Leah, a premier league game or something that neither of you had been paying much attention to once you’d gotten your hands on each other.

Leah’s hands were gently rested on your hips, her nails grazing up and down the delicate skin, her soft and luscious lips caressing yours like you were a piece of fine china, delicate to the touch. It put you on cloud 9, just allowing yourself to be completely enveloped by the pure love and adoration that was flowing from Leah’s body to your own. You felt immaculate, like you were made of a million dollars, Leah had a habit of making you feel that way. You’d never gotten past this stage, never beyond heated kisses and little feather light touches. Leah was cautious of how young you were, and as long as you were happy so was she. But right now, all you wanted was more, you felt desperately greedy as you allowed your hips to grind up into hers. Leah didn’t even notice the first time, until you bucked them up into her and her eyes bursted open, looking at you with a mixture of shock and complete adoration.

“We don’t have to do anything.”

Leah was an absolute golden retriever, never wanting to push you more than you could handle, but that also didn’t mean that she didn’t have desires of her own, desires to make you feel better than you ever had before.

Leah lowered her lips to your neck, sucking a light mark into your unembellished skin, leaving her mark on you. You moaned open lippedly, your hips arching upwards into her own, your back attending back into the pillows.

“Lee, please.”

Leah smirked against your neck, her innocent girl begging was something that she’d never get over. She lowered her head down your neck, to the top of the tank top you were wearing, kissing along the lines of it. She moved her mouth down, to the part of your stomach that was on show, the milky abdomen that she loved so dearly. She flattened her tongue out against your stomach, making you feel better than you ever had before with her tongue sensually sliding against your soft skin. Leah’s hands moved to hook into the waistband of your shorts and suddenly your had shot out to stop her.

Leah jerked away from you, a guilty look on her face as she looked down at you with regretful eyes.

“Fuck I’m so sorry, I read the situation wrong, we don’t have to do anything, I didn’t mean to push y-.”

You stopped Leah’s worrying before she could say anything else to you.

“Leah it was perfect, I wanted it. I just thought I should warn you, there’s a lot of scars on my thighs and hips, and I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable about them.”

Your voice is anxious, full of uncertainty about what questions Leah might ask or what presumptions might come to her head. You knew this moment was inevitable. that as perfect has your relationship had been in the last few weeks, you were going to need to face your fears and eventually venture to this part of your relationship.

Leah moves back up your body, pressing a gentle peck to your lips and smiling against them.

“You're beautiful to me no matter what, if you feel comfortable I’d love for us to keep going. Have you done this before?”

Your lip jutted out between your teeth, your evident embarrassment about your virginity coming to light.

“Not exactly, but I’ve experimented and I feel safe with you, I don’t want us to stop.”

Leah nods her head against your lips, smiling and sliding her body back down yours, to the space she had previously occupied between your legs.

“I’ve got you sweetheart, we’ll just take it nice and slow.”

Leah’s hands rehooked into your waistband, this time with zero push back from you. When you nodded your head at her she smiled, pulling your shorts down tantalisingly slow. You bit the inside of your cheek, watching Leah’s face expressions closely as she tugged your shorts down to your knees. Suddenly you felt so vulnerable, so scared. Leah’s face didn’t falter, as she continued to tug your shorts down to your ankles and then down onto the end of the couch. She kept her eyes trained on the lines between your thighs, a completely neutral facial expression as she surveyed the tattered skin. It wasn’t something you were proud of, the raised skin all over the insides and outside of your thighs and hips. It wasn’t a pretty sight, there was a reason why you never wore bikinis in front of anybody. Leah did something you never would have expected, she leant down to the space between your thighs and gently placed a series of kisses to every single line. There were hundreds, she could spend hours between you thighs kissing them and it wouldn’t have mattered to her, all that mattered to her was making sure that you knew just how loved you were in her care.

“So beautiful, so perfect, so brave.”

Leah’s words were murmured warmly against your skin, there was nothing sexual about her actions, just complete honesty and pride at what you’d gone through to get to where you were. She took her time with the old, new, raised, red, white, faded. Every single one was equally important to her, every single one of the proof of just how brave you were, just how hard you’d fought.

“Lee, please.”

Your words were desperate, the image of Leah between your thighs mentally imprinting on your brain, like a tattoo to your skin. She was doing everything but dealing with the wet patch between your thighs though, the place where you desperately needed her the very most. Leah smiled up at you, the corners of her lips stretched tightly with a smile on her face.

“Is someone getting inpatient?”

Leah’s head came to rest on the inside of your thigh, as she looked up at you with hooded eyes that held pure desire in them.

“I need you.”

The pure want in your voice sent shivers down Leah’s back, shocking her straight to her core.

“I suppose.”

Leah’s hands came up to the elastic of your black thong, a simple enough piece, nothing particular about it, yet Leah felt like she could worship that item of clothing for months if you let her. She tugged it down though, down to your knees before deserting it and looking down to appreciate your glistening sex.

“So wet, I haven’t even touched you where it matters yet?”

You mewled at Leah, desperate for her to just give your dripping hole some much needed attention.

“Leah.”

She smirked at your needy tone, almost a whine.

“Fingers or mouth?”

It was such a simple question, and yet you struggled to answer out of the sheer amount of pleasure that the ultimatum brought you.

“Both.”

As soon as the words left your mouth Leah’s mouth was diving into your folds, licking a stripe from your clit all the way down to your hole. It was inexplicably perfect, and you let her know as much by the moans that feel sinfully from your lips. She licks again and again, and again, and again and again, until her lips finally suction to your clit and you almost fall from the couch from the electric shocks that are sent all over your body. Leah sucks gently, treating your clit like the treasure it is, savouring every single second that her mouth gets to taste you and learn what you like best.

“You taste so good, baby.”

Suddenly your hand is on top of your mouth, muffling the scream that Leah’s words force your body to produce from the pure desire coursing across your body. One of Leah’s arms comes to rest on top of your hips, to stop their unsynchronised bucking so she has a stabler grip on your pussy. Her voice sends vibrations across your sex, Leah suckles at your clit one last time before moving her head down to your hole, giving you her nose as a means to grind on. Your wound so tight from the simple actions that Leah knows you won’t last much longer, not that she minds, as long as your feeling pleasure thats what matters the most to her.

She thrusts her tongue into your sex and suddenly your thighs, the muscular thighs that not long ago Leah had been littering with adoration are wrapping around her head, somewhat cutting of Leah’s air supply. Leah doesn’t hesitate, only diving in further, helping you to chase your impending high. Leah’s hands come to rest on your thighs, pushing them open carefully so she can breathe and then diving back into your hole, thrusting her tongue in and out of it and resonating in the moans that fall from her mouth as she does. Leah’s taste buds are being completely bombarded with your scent and taste, it’s the best thing she’s ever experienced.

When she realises that you need a little bit more she brings one of her hands down from your hips and to your wetness. Your body jerks at the sensation of her rough pads making contact with your clit. Leah doesn’t spend long on it, replacing her fingers with her mouth and moving her fingers down to your clenching hole. It comes as no surprise to her when one of her digits slides in with zero resistance, your needy pussy sucking up whatever Leah gives it.

Leah begins a relentless pace, pumping her single digit in and out with rigour, It’s great, but you want and can take more.

“Leah, fuck, more.”

Leah only hums against your sensitive drippiness and on the next pump she adds another finger, slowing her strokes slightly to allow you to adjust to the intrusion. You’re so tight on her fingers, clenching down on her so hard that she has to put a little bit more effort into pushing her fingers in and out of your entrance.

When she begins to curl her fingers you're a goner, moaning wildly above her.

“Fuck Leah, fuck, fuck.”

The coil in your stomach is wound as tight as it can go, the need in your stomach at its capacity.

“Cum for me sweetheart, I’ve got you, cum all over my fingers.”

Leah’s words are enough of a booster for you, and in an almost embarrassing lot of moans and jerks your body is falling directly over the edge, your thighs shaking on either side of Leah’s head. You try to press your legs together, to protect your spasming cunt while it clenches and makes a mess all over Leah’s face, but she holds your legs open with her spare hand, desperate to see exactly what she’s done to you, the way she’s ruined your perfect little pussy. She guides you through your orgasm, gently cleaning you up with her mouth and easing her fingers out of your cunt when the aftershocks have dulled down. She cleans her fingers with her mouth, savouring the taste of you on her tongue. Once she was done cleaning up she snaked her way up your body, resting her head on your chest and admiring the thoroughly fucked-out facial expression that adorned your face.

“Your a devil.”

Leah only smiled at you, pressing a series of kisses all over your face, covering your skin with her lips.

“It was good?”

You nodded almost immediately, still shocked at how good Leah had been able to make you feel with just her fingers and mouth.

“It was perfect.”

The smile that graces Leah’s face is perfect, it’s full of happiness and pure bliss.

“Are you doing alright?”

Leah can’t help herself but ask, because the part of her that’s constantly worrying about her teammates is now worrying about you, worried if she’s been missing the signs that you're not doing okay.

“Leah I’m doing better than ever, you make me so happy, moving to Arsenal has been the best decision I’ve ever made.”

Leah nods dutifully, observing the information that warms her soul, knowing that you're happy and that her home is making you happy is music to her ears.

“Can I ask you why you do it, or did it?”

Leah’s voice is shaky, uncertain, she doesn’t want to push you, but she also wants to know this part of you, all she wants is to care about you and prove to you that she loves you like you deserve.

“How about we move up to bed and get into pjs and then I’ll explain it all to you, or as much as you want to hear?”

Leah nods quickly, pushing herself off the couch and picking you up easily, walking towards her bedroom. She helps you into the bathroom, the both of you doing your business and going about your night time routines. Whilst you’ve only been dating Leah for two months now, since you started at Arsenal, you’ve very quickly intertwined your life with hers, your toothbrush had a permanent space in Leah’s bathroom, your clothes in her wardrobe, your favourite snacks in her pantry. You stayed over at Leah’s house more often than not, claiming it was convenient because she was closer to the training ground. Leah loved your company so she was hardly one to object.

Once you’d both finished brushing your teeth and going about your nighttime skin care she dragged you into her wardrobe, throwing one of her hoodies and a pair of her boxers at you. You threw them on nonchalantly, watching curiously as Leah found her favourite oversized shirt, an old Arsenal one and a pair of sleep shorts. Once she was done you both walked into her room, her arm wrapped around your waist as she led you under the covers.

She leant her own body against the bed head, bringing your head to rest against her chest whilst she carded her fingers gently through your scalp. It was everything you’d grown to love about Leah, sure, Leah was terrifying on the pitch, terrifying as a captain, but in private she was one of the sweetest people you’d ever met.

“I started when I was 14.”

You let your words hang in the empty space, focusing on the feeling of Leah’s fingers working their way through your scalp, it was almost as good as the massages you got at the hairdressers when they were washing your hair.

“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”

Leah wants to know, she wants to know every single little detail about you, but she also doesn’t want to push you, good things come to people who wait, and as far as she’s concerned her biggest worry is you and making sure that you feel comfortable with her.

“No, I want to, I just haven’t really talked about it like this with anyone.”

Leah nods her head and continues her movements across your scalp, smiling to herself as you relax into her touch.

“It was my coping mechanism growing up, in a house with so many kids and parents who are stretched so thin isn’t easy, and I was going through a really tough time. So I turned to self harm, a few of my friends had been joking about it so I tried it. I never really did it with the attention of seriously harming myself or killing myself, it was just my stress reliever. It’s not a healthy coping mechanism, I know that, I’ve tried my hardest to quit it over the past years, I really have tried. I hae a therapist, you know that though, and we’ve been working on it for a few years, I’m 4 months clean currently, I’m trying my best.”

Leah just nods at your words, forever supportive of you.

“I’m not here to tell you what's wrong and right, obviously I would love for you not to hurt yourself, but I also understand that everyone has coping mechanisms that work for them, I bite my nails when I’m nervous, and obviously there not the same things but I have my ways of coping as well. All that matters to me is that you are happy and doing okay, you’re putting in the work through therapy, you're trying your hardest and that’s all that matters. I’m here to be your person, to be the person in your corner, not here to tell you that you’ve fucked up your life. You are so incredibly strong and brave y/n, that’s what I see in you, a girl who has struggled but she found a way to survive, a way to get herself through the day. Sure, cutting yourself isn’t the best alternative, but you learnt how to survive and I commend you for that, I commend you for finding a way to deal with all the pain that you were going through. I love you so much sweetheart, all I want is to support you and be here for whatever you need.”

You can feel tears welling up in your eyes, you bring the corner of Leah’s hoodie to your eyes, wiping away the wetness from your face.

“I love you too Lee.”

She smiled down at you, your face shining under the moonlight that was flowing in through the open curtains.

“I know sweetheart, now get some sleep, we can talk as much or as little about this in the morning.”

The topic doesn’t come up for a few more weeks, both you and Leah enjoying the absolute bliss that your relationship is providing. You're riding on cloud nine at Arsenal, scoring goals in most matches and earning your spot on the squad. You feel so happy, so secure, more than you ever had at any stage in your life, it all comes crashing down after a game though.

You didn’t even notice what was happening when it was being pointed out. You were post game, getting changed in the locker rooms after a tough loss to Chelsea 3-2. You weren’t really thinking straight, if you had been you would have waited until you were in the shower cubicle to get changed, but all you wanted to do was throw on some sweats and find Leah so she could take you home. You tugged off your shorts and compression shorts without much care, slinging them into the back of your locker whilst you searched through your bag for the sweatpants that you were sure you’d packed.

“Chook, what are those?”

It’s Katie’s deep Irish accent that catches your attention, your eyes moving to meet hers, which are fixated on the outside of your thighs. Katie’s voice attracts the attention of some of your neighbouring teammates and suddenly you're frozen to your spot, staring at the same marks Katie is looking at.

“Y/n/n, goo game darling.”

It’s Leah’s arms wrapping around your shoulders that draws your attention, her eyes quickly fall to where both you and Katie are looking.

“Mccabe, do we have a problem?”

Leah’s voice is so defensive, she had known this day was going to roll around at some stage, she’s just glad that she was here for you when it happened.

“Er, I was just asking y/n about what was on her thigh.”

You body goes rigid in Leah’s arms, Leah’s defensive mode doesn’t falter though.

“Hardly any of your business, I’d think.”

Katie gulps, but her confidence doesn’t waiver, and she’s now attracted the attention of Caitlin, your national teammate who is peeping over her girlfriends shoulder to get a view at what the focus of the three of you is. Caitlin’s eyebrow raises in questioning, but she doesn’t vocalise.

“Was just curious.”

Leah glares at Katie, and you can tell by the facial expression she’s going to bring this up at a later date with her, but not right now, not when you're present.

“Take your curiosity somewhere else.”

Leah’s hands reach for your sweatpants, and you're forever grateful as she hands them to you and you quickly slip them on. Leah helps you with your hoodie and packing up your bag, before leading you out of the rooms with one of her hands on the small of your back, guiding you out to her car. You don’t say anything much on the way there, but as soon as your in the safety on Leah’s car you just turn to her.

“Thank you, you don’t know how much I appreciated that.”

Your voice is quiet, shy, something that Leah wishes you’d never feel in front of her, but she understands that your teammates curiosity has gotten the best of you, and whilst she loves Katie like a sister, she’s just a little bit pissed off at her bluntness.

“Not a problem my love, I’ve got you remember, I’m here for you.”

Leah notices a change in you after that interaction, you shut down a little bit, especially in front of your teammates. She doesn’t push you, she understands that you're going through an adjustment period, plus you seem pretty happy when it’s just the two of you hanging out. That’s why she didn’t hesitate to go out tonight, it was a pre planned dinner with Alex and a few of their other mutual friends, you insisting that she go out and enjoy herself.

It’s a fairly relaxing night, Leah eats salmon and veggies, her go to when she’s out for dinner, drinks a glass of wine and catches up with her best friend, it’s nice, but she wants to come home to you, that’s why she stays sober, she doesn’t go out clubbing when Alex asks, because she has something to go home to now, somebody she can hold in her arms and feel so incredibly fulfilled. Alex jokes about Leah being completely infatuated with you, puppy love, and Leah can’t find any reason to deny it, because it’s true, she’s fallen head over heels in love with you. She leaves dinner at a more than reasonable time, just past nine.

She drives home with an almost giddy smile on her face and when she pulls into her driveway she can’t help but feel completely inebriated with the sheer amount of excitement coursing through her body at getting to see you, and love you and just be with you. She knocks her door open as she rushes through the entryway, her eyes searching for you. She doesn’t see you in the kitchen or lounge room, so after sliding her coat and shoes off she moves into her bedroom. When she doesn’t find you in bed she’s a little bit shocked, but then she hears the sound of the shower steadily beating down against the tiles of her bathroom and everything makes sense. She moves to the door, sliding it open, hoping to be rewarded with the sight of your beautiful naked form, and secretly hoping that maybe she’ll be able to join you. What she hadn’t expected was to find you sitting on her bathroom floor, a razor blade in one hand and red lines bleeding all over your thighs.

Your eyes snap up at Leah, unaware that she’d even entered the threshold of her house, let alone the bathroom that you were currently sitting on the floor in. Your eyes almost pop out of your skull, as do Leah’s as she realises exactly what’s going on. You shriek, involuntarily, absolutely terrified of the predicament that you’ve been found in. Leah freezes, her body unmoving as she stairs down at you, completely unsure what to do.

“Leah it’s not what it looks like.”

It’s exactly what it looks like, your sitting on her bathroom floor, with a razor pressed to your thigh, blood dripping steadily down you skin. It’s a sight that Leah never wanted nor expected to see, you’d been doing so well, she’d even sat in on one of your therapy appointments and talked with your psychologist about just how much of a change they’d seen in you since you’d made the move.

“Fuck-sorry, I didn’t mean to walk in on you- Fuck. Fuck, I’m going to go get some towels, and bandaids, and disinfectant.”

Leah’s words come out in shambles and you manage to soothe her with your own voice.

“Leah, beside me, I’ve got it all.”

Leah’s shocked at your preparedness, her eyes darting to the pile of supplies beside you, telling her that this was clearly premeditated.

“Okay-Fuck-I’m so sorry, do you need me to help? I should help, shouldn't I? Fuck, what do you need me to do?”

You nod at Leah, the both of you are clearly so unsure about this whole interaction. Leah’s brain seems to be short circuiting, and it doesn’t help with your uncertainty.

“Leah, just leave, I can sort this out myself.”

Your voice is short, dismissive, you don’t want to push Leah out but you're also so unsure right now and Leah’s own insecurity isn’t helping you. Leah’s captain instincts seem to kick in though, and before you can object she’s shaking her head and walking towards the shower, turning it off because it’s clearly not being used and then moving to sit down next to you.

“How about you let me clean you up, hmm? We’ll talk about it later, just let me look after you, you don’t have to do this all by yourself, I’m here for you.”

You look into Leah’s eyes, and whilst there’s still uncertainty hiding in them somewhere, she looks so much surer, so much more caring and you just nod your head helplessly, like a goldfish.

Leah reaches for your pile of supplies, first reaching for a damp towel and pressing it down onto the inside of your thighs, essentially using it as a form of absorption and tourniquet for your bleeding. She holds it like that for a few minutes, just waiting for your blood to clot. Once it does she throws the towel into her hamper and reaches for the disinfectant.

“This one will burn, just be brave for me yeah, my brave, strong, beautiful girl.”

Leah’s words of comfort do wonders for you, your body relaxing as Leah moves between your thighs. She smears a dollop of the disinfectant on her finger before gently bringing the pad of her index into contact with your scars.

You groan out in pain, the disinfectant searing as it ingrains itself in the lines that you’d inflicted on yourself. Leah tries her best to be quick about it, but she also does a thorough job, ensuring that none of the lines are going to get infected. Once she’s done with the disinfectant she moves for some bandages and takes her time addressing each individual scar. Once she’s done she pressed a kiss to every mark that she’d dressed, pressing her lips gently to the bandages. It makes you think of when your mother used to kiss every single football injury you’d procure, telling you it would feel better, and it never really did make it any better, but it made you feel safer, happier, like everything would keep moving even with the pain you were feeling in the moment. This time with Leah was no different, the action making you feel all cosy and warm on the inside, something that a few minutes ago you’d felt like was completely unachievable.

“I’m going to go get some shorts and water for you, is there anything else you need?”

You shake your head shyly, and take notice of the way that Leah palms the blade that you’d previously been using and watched as her eyes search around the bathroom to see if there are any more.

“That’s the only one.”

Leah nods and smiles at you, pressing a kiss to the point of you nose before leaving the bathroom.

She isn’t gone long, returning in a record amount of time with the water and shorts she’d gone out to get and a protein bar. She opens the bottle and packet of the bar for you, handing them to you whilst she sits herself back down in front of you and helps you into she shorts, being eternally careful of the bandages that she’d just put on your legs.

Once you’d drunk the water and eaten the bar she gives you a lopsided smile, on that tells you that you have a lot to talk about.

“How about we get into bed chook, tonights been a lot.”

You nod at Leah, she helps you off the floor and leads you into the bed, tucking you under the covers before lying down beside you.

Leah wraps one around your waist, her hand coming to hover on top of the scars that not long ago you’d inflicted on your own skin.

“I’m sorry.”

Your words are a whisper, meant for only you and Leah, not that there’s anybody in earshot to hear you.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for chook.”

Leah’s words come out as a sigh, she’s disappointed in you for a series of reasons, but not because of your actions.

“Why do you look disappointed then?”

Your hands fiddling with the corner of your pillow, your eyes trained on Leah as she ums and ahs over how to answer that question in the best way. She lets out a deep breath before speaking.

“I’m disappointed in myself for not seeing that you were struggling this much. Never at you though, I told you that I understand why you do this, and I meant it. I’m a little bit disappointed that you didn’t try to talk to me, but I understand that it’s not always that easy, I’m worried about you more than anything, chook and I was just a little bit shocked when I walked in on you. That’s not to say that I’m in any way shape or form angry with you, I could never be angry at you, I’m just doing a lot of thinking.”

You nod at Leah, trying to compartmentalise every single word that leaves her mouth.

“I didn’t want to bother you, especially when you were so excited to see Alex.”

Leah bites down on the inside of her cheek, she feels a little bit guilty about the fact that Alex had taken priority over you, tonight of all nights.

“Baby, I don’t care if I’m in the World Cup final, I want you to talk to me when your struggling. I love Alex, yes. But there’s a reason I came home so early to you tonight, because I wanted to spend my night cuddled up in bed with you, because that’s how I love to spend my free time, with you. I would pick you over anyone else in the world. You can always call me, I’m always here for you, I’m always going to be your crutch or tourniquet.”

Leah’s words bring tears to your eyes that you didn’t know where there, and it pulls a guttural sob from your lungs.

“I’m sorry, I was just so stressed, and feeling so alone and it was all I could think about, so I walked down to the drugstore and bought a blade, I wasn’t even sure if I was going to use it, but then it was in my palm and it felt so good and I missed it so much, but then you were home and I realised that I don’t have to do this anymore, because you make me so happy, you make life worth living and you make my world turn.”

Leah brings her hand up to rest on your cheek, her fingers brushing away the stray hairs that are falling down in front of your eyes.

“I love you too chook, you make me happier than anybody else in the world. I’m by your side for it all, this world will never be enough for you but I’ll try to okay, from now on it’s you and me against the world, and if you feel like this I want you to talk to me about it. I’m not going to try and stop you, but at least I’ll be by your side, I’ll bandage up your body and your bones and every single one of your bad days as well, okay? Just promise me that your going to try and talk to me about it, that’s all I care about, that you feel safe enough with me that you can talk to me.”

You nod at Leah, the fat, warm, wet tears dripping down your face. Leah’s thumb wipes them away, clearing your vision and allowing you to see the welcoming smile that has graced Leah’s lips.

“I promise, you make me feel safer than anybody else and I’m going to do my very best for you, because I love you and I want to be happy with and for you.”

Leah nods her head, it’s all she can ask for, that you are happy and healthy and doing well.

“I’ve got you sweetheart, if you're not doing it for yourself then do it for me, show me just how strong and brave you can be, whatever you need, I’m here.”

You nodded your head, letting Leah’s words sink in like a tattoo on your skin.

“I need hugs from you, right now, you need to hug me.”

Leah just chuckles, but she obliges your request, wrapping her arms around you tightly, tight enough for you to know that she’s never letting you go if she can help it.

#woso #woso community #leah williamson #lionesses #marry me rn #arsenal wfc #leah williamson x reader #golden retriever leah vibes #leah williamson is boyf #leah williamson is mother #leah makes me cry #i love leah williamson #leah williamson is mom #leah williamson imagine #pain #woso one shot #woso smut #woso imagines

[c00kieguy]

𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝙴𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚜 [Ch.3]

relationships: Aventurine x GN!Reader summary: Despite his fears and worries, Aventurine finally tells you about his past. Read more here cw: 2.1 quest SPOILERS, fluff, comfort, a bit of humor. a/n: not proofread unfortunately [The series is done!] Good luck on your Aventurine pulls! wc: 1.5k Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 (this one) masterlist

Before long, the next day emerged. It was Sunday now and you only had today to spend with your beloved boyfriend before you were back to working your regular shifts. It seemed the dishes had other plans however, having forgotten to wash them yesterday you had no choice but to get at them today. 

Unbeknownst to you, your boyfriend approaches you from behind. You feel his gentle touch as he wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on you, his soft breath tickling your back. You take comfort in his presence but pay him no mind as you continue doing the dishes.

“Can we talk?” He suddenly asks. His quiet tone concerns you so you immediately stop what you’re doing to face him.

“What’s wrong?” You gently cup his face in your hand in worry. The sudden question had you run a million worst case scenarios in your head already.

“Nothing, don’t worry.” He places his hands over yours and gives you a careful smile. “I just have a few things to share, if you have the time?” 

You don’t even hesitate before dropping everything to accompany him to your room. Lying down on your shared bed you face each other. Kakavasha has his head on your chest while you rest yours on his hair. Normally your presence alone would be enough to calm his nerves, but today it had the opposite effect on him. 

Eventually you hear a quiet voice come from under you. “I…used to work for the IPC…” The IPC?

“Is that all?” You laugh a little. “Well, surprise! Me too.” Was this all? What a simple matter.

“You did?” He’s a little taken back at your confession and looks up at you for an explanation.

“It was just contract work, so not exactly working with them, but it’s basically the same isn’t it?” You say with a laugh. “Was this your big secret? That’s all?” He goes quiet at this. Here you were giving him your full attention and he couldn’t even muster up enough courage to spill the truth. He half wanted to just go along with it and live out his life with you in peace. ‘Yep that’s it haha’ and he could go on pretending like the former part of his life didn’t exist, but that would be unfair to you. More importantly, it would be unfair to his loved ones. 

He wanted you to know of his past, of his parents, his sister. He wanted to share with you the joyful and sorrowful parts of his past. He wanted you to know everything about him, but that’s the thing about being honest, he had to talk about it. Oh how he wished he could just airdrop his memories into your brain, maybe if he didn’t have to verbally state it, it won’t hurt as much.

You keep your eyes trained on him, waiting for him to continue, not rushing him. Your boyfriend simply tucks his head back under your chin, unable to look at you anymore. His ever growing anxiety makes him want to bury himself alive. There’s a long pause before he speaks again.

“Aventurine…” It’s soft, so soft you almost miss it. “That’s what I used to go by.” His voice slightly cracks at the end and he hopes you don’t notice.

“The stoneheart?” You can’t help your accusing tone. He couldn't be one of them…right? You’ve always been vocal about your dislike for the IPC, so to think your boyfriend was once an integral part of them left a pit in your stomach. Is this why he was so hesitant to share his past with you? Did he think you’d hate him?

“I’m sorry…” His voice only comes off as a whisper. He’s not sure if he wants to hold onto you tighter or if you’d prefer if he stops touching you altogether. Clenching his fist he really hopes it’s the former, he’ll allow himself that much hope at least.

“No, don’t apologize. I’m not mad at you, just a little shocked.” You quickly try to salvage the situation. To think the whole time you were the problem and not him, you couldn’t forgive yourself enough. “I should be apologizing. I’d never hate you, I could never do such a thing Kakavasha.” You allow yourself to rest your forehead on his, hoping he learns to trust you again, but he already does, he always did. “Should I call you Aventurine now?” He’s quick to shoot you down with a frantic look in his eyes.

“No, that was just a title. I…” He looks at you with such desperation in his eyes. “I love the way you say my name, so please, don’t ever stop using it.” Then that’s exactly what you’ll do.

Ah, wait. Amidst all your feelings you seemed to have brushed aside a crucial detail.

“What do you mean ‘used to’, you’re not a stoneheart anymore? What happened?” He sighs and looks away with an uninterested look. 

“I…left.” He says slowly. “I’ve fully repaid my debt to the IPC, so I just left.” He looks back at you, this time with a more certain look in his eyes. “I made sure they won’t have a reason to come find me again, and since they haven’t hunted me down yet, my plan must’ve worked.” He ends with a dry laugh. Anyone could tell he didn’t want to talk about it so you decide to change the topic to something a little more lighthearted.

“So, your friends. I’m guessing there’s more to them.” You found it cute how his face instantly lit up.

“Haha yea. The businesswoman I mentioned? She’s Topaz, a senior manager of the Strategic Investment Department.” It almost felt like he was bragging, 

“Another stoneheart…of course.” Your boyfriend misunderstands you and gives you a worried look so you immediately correct yourself. “Sorry it’s just. I thought you ran away from home, or maybe you were divorced with kids or something. Not…not this.” You say with an exaggerated sigh. You hope a small joke like this will lift the mood a little.

“Divorced with kids? Do I really look that old to you?” He laughs at your attempt at lightening the mood and you can’t help just join him. 

“I’m just…glad. That you feel comfortable enough sharing this with me.” You give him a warm smile. “I’m glad you trust me, Kakavasha.” You really did. You trusted him so wholly, and to have that trust given back to you felt wonderful. “Oh! What about the guy from Veritas Prime? I’m guessing he doesn’t actually go there?”

“Oh, he does. He’s not a student though, he’s a lecturer there.” He says nonchalantly. “Have you heard of Dr. Veritas Ratio?”

“Veritas Ratio? You’re friends with Veritas Ratio?!” You ask in exasperation. “I mean, who am I kidding, of course you are!” Being so high up in the IPC must give him unique privileges after all.

“You look a lot more shocked about this than Topaz haha. Why’s that?” He’s clearly amused by your reaction.

“I’ve always wanted to go there, but I could never pass the entrance exam.” You reply sheepishly. “The curriculum was way too packed and I realized I preferred something more down to earth anyway.” Reaching out for his face you gently tuck a strand of hair behind his ears. “And I’m happy I became a baker, after all, I wouldn't have met you otherwise.” Kakavasha gives you a small smile with his cheeks a slight tint of pink.

“So…any other strange friends you’re not telling me about?” He takes his time to think about it before replying.

“Well, there is one other. I’d like to think we’re friends but I’m not sure if she would agree.” He sounds melancholic at the thought. “She really helped a lot. There was a point in my life where…everything seemed meaningless. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.” It must have been rough, being all alone, but you were glad there was at least someone there for him. “She was there to help me, a little. Something about an Emanator of Nihility telling you that there’s meaning to life is really encouraging I suppose.”

“AN EMENATOR??” You practically scream at him. 

“Yes, an Emenator.” How did he manage to get himself involved with an emenator? And not just any emenator, but one of Nihility?

“Incredible, your life is a million times more interesting than mine.” You say in defeat. He truly was amazing, and his circle of friends are as unique as one could get. Part of you felt a pang of jealousy, why couldn’t your life be even a fraction as interesting as his? You couldn’t help but want to know more. “How did you manage to escape? If you don’t mind telling me, I’m just a little curious.” 

“It’s a very long story.” He chuckles.

“I’m willing to listen.” You place a small kiss on his forehead. “If you’re willing to share.”

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 (this one) masterlist

© c00kieguy ➼ do not repost/copy/translate (without my permission) or claim any of my works as your own. Reblogs are appreciated ❣

#hsr aventurine #aventurine x reader #aventurine x you #aventurine x y/n #aventurine x gn reader #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr x y/n #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #star rail aventurine #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr x gn reader #gender neutral reader #hsr fluff #hsr fanfic #honkai aventurine #honkai star rail #c00kie.writes

[stevenssacrab]

Tell Me Everything

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ✧ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ*

Summary: After a successful first date with Loki, you spill all the details to Wanda and Natasha

Rating: 17+

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, kissing, insecure Loki and reader

Word Count: 1.6k

a/n: got this idea from a random dialogue generator, had tons of fun writing this one, Loki holds a special place in my heart, love that mans

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ✧ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ*

"Goodbye, darling," he says; you can't deny this gravitational pull between you and Loki; you tiptoe and delicately kiss him. Loki rests his hands on your waist, drawing gentle circles into the fabric of your dress; when you pull back, you're met with a soft smile.

"Goodnight, Loki," you say happily; you close the door softly; you're on cloud 9; you sigh happily and flop onto your bed, excitedly kicking your legs about; happiness bursts out of you, reminiscing on tonight's events. You stand to change into something more comfortable when you're interrupted by a light knocking on your door.

"Who is that? It's almost 2 am," you ponder, dodging the articles of clothing scattered on the floor; you barely get the door open when Wanda and Natasha barge into the room, throwing a million questions at you before you've even had a chance to say hello.

"How did it go?" Wanda shrieks, dragging you to your bed. She and Natasha sit directly across from you; you feel you're about to be interrogated.

"So well," you practically swoon, a smile creeping across your face; Wanda squeals excitedly, gripping your hands tightly. She and Natasha have been with you throughout this journey, through the mutual pining, the denial, the awkward stage, everything; they know how much this date meant to you and are happy to see you happy, to be with someone who will finally treat you right.

"Tell me everything; I want to know it all," Natasha says excitedly; you laugh; you've never seen them so excited; you cross your legs together and get comfortable, ready for the long night ahead of you.

"Okay, well, he picked me up at 9, and he was wearing this well-fitted black suit, with accents of gold, oh and his hair was slicked back, and I wore this spaghetti strap dark green floor-length corset dress with a high slit, I picked the color on purpose," you giggled wholeheartedly.

You're dressed in a dark green dress with a column silhouette and spaghetti strap neckline, with a corset detail in the midsection, accompanied by a high slit that stops at your hip bone; to compliment the dress, you went with gold earrings and beige block heels tying the whole outfit together perfectly, opting to part your hair directly down the middle; Loki donned a fitted black suit, with a black and gold tie, with a complex pattern, following with a black and gold handkerchief, hair slicked back smoothly, his long hair cascading past his shoulders.

"Where did you guys go?" Wanda questioned, leaning forward, anticipating your response.

"He took us to this lovely restaurant with a live pianist and a beautiful chandelier, and the food was excellent; I got this fantastic tomato basil pasta, and he ordered a steak covered with a mushroom wine sauce."

Hand wrapped around Loki's, you walk into an ethereal interior that could bring a grown man to tears; beautiful white columns line the walls with intricate crown molding of vines and swirls, the whole room white, with flicks of gold everywhere, tables adorned with white clothes, and greenery on every table, complimenting the white and gold perfectly and a gorgeous white and gold crystal chandelier illuminating the entire room, soft piano music filled your ears, completing the whole experience.

"What did you guys talk about?" Natashed pressed, scooting closer, eagerly awaiting your response.

"Well, at first, it was kinda awkward; we talked about how nice the restaurant was," you laughed nervously, scratching your head quizzically, "then we started talking about the moment when we began to develop feelings for each other.”

"I knew when I came down for a glass of water in the middle of the night, and you were helping Sam get back to his room safely after he had drunk too much; I'll admit, I was a little jealous. I wanted you to hold me the way you were holding Sam; I knew that I needed someone who always saw the best in people, a person who could remind me I'm not a terrible person, regardless of how I feel, someone like that deserves to be cherished and worshipped every day of their life " Loki said, looking deeply into your eyes, blush inched from your cheeks to the tips of your ears.

"I knew when I saw you were playing with Morgan and Cassie; I knew that everyone had you all wrong; you weren't the monster everyone made you out to be; I never once believed it for a second; I knew the person you were underneath, a kind, benevolent god, I was and still am determined to help you see it for yourself," you said, gently caressing Loki's hand, running your thumb over his knuckles.

"What did you guys do afterward?" Wanda inquired, eyes flicking between you and Natasha eagerly.

"We went to the beach, watched the waves, and talked about moments when we thought we couldn’t contain how we felt.”

With the cool summer air blowing through your hair, you walked near the shoreline, feeling each grain of sand between your toes and gasping slightly whenever the cold ocean water pricks your skin, small gentle waves kissed the sandy beach, the rhythmic sound of the waves creating a soft hum, heels in one hand, the other hanging onto Loki; luckily, Loki came prepared with a basket of pillows and a blanket to lay on, you both picked a secluded spot and spread the blanket, making yourselves comfortable, you started off laying separately but eventually gave in and embraced into each other, resting your head on Loki’s chest, drawing patterns haphazardly. At the same time, he played with your hair absentmindedly; you sighed contently, watching the gentle waves form soft, undulating hills on the ocean’s surface. “Was there ever a moment when you wanted to confess how you felt about me?” You asked whimsically, resting your chin on his chest, watching him closely.

“A few times, but one in particular sticks out for me: when you came to comfort me when reporters asked offensive questions in an attempt to get a rise out of me, you came and sat with me and told me how the reporters were wrong for asking such questions, and you told me how you could see who I truly was,” Loki reached for your hand, and brought it up to his mouth and kissed it delicately, playing with your fingers. “Then you grabbed my hand and looked at me so lovingly. You have no idea how badly I wanted to kiss you then. It took all my strength not to; I desperately wanted to tell you how I felt, but I had convinced myself that someone as unique as you could never love someone like me,” your eyes slowly filled with tears. You sat up, trying to hide them, Loki caressed your cheek, wiping away your tears, “oh darling, I didn’t mean to upset you; please don’t cry my love,” he said compassionately, you sniffled and nodded slightly “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to cry it’s just, Loki you truly are amazing I hope one day you’ll see yourself as I see you,” you said grabbing his hands and interlacing your fingers tightly.

“I almost told you after the Christmas dinner party, the day was so perfect; I was with everyone that I cared about, and I had a few glasses of wine in me, and you were helping me back to my room; you were holding me so carefully, you were so cautious of where your hands were, most men would’ve taken advantage of the situation but you, you went out of your way to make me feel safe and comfortable, and then when you brought me to my room you made sure I drank plenty of water, you were so caring and concerned for my well being, but the moment I almost caved was when I had finally laid down and was slowly dozing off, you were caressing my hair and humming a lullaby to me, I opened my eyes to look at you one last time and the look in your eyes, took my breath away, I was going to express how I felt, but I had accidentally dozed off before I could say anything,” you smiled to yourself, ruminating in how you felt then.

“Did you guys kiss?” Wanda and Natasha asked simultaneously, laughing at the situation; they smiled at each other.

"Yeah, I kissed him, actually; he walked me to my room and wished me goodnight; there was this alluring look in his eyes that you can't help but fall in love with," your cheeks turning deep, rosy pink.

"Goodnight, darling," Loki whispered, eyes flicking down to your lips and then back to your eyes; you subconsciously lick your lips, Loki's hands resting on your waist, drawing small circles into the fabric of your dress. You wrap your arms around his neck and bury your hands in his hair; he sighs tranquilly, closing his eyes, losing himself. He's putty in your hands, and you don't even know it, your eyes dancing between his eyes and his lips; you both dance around what you want, waiting for someone to move first; you can't wait any longer, nearly a year of pining after each other has lead up to this moment, you pull him down and kiss him tenderly, his lips fitting against yours perfectly, like he was made just for you, he eagerly returns the kiss, pulling you against him tightly, his hands exploring the expanse of your back, memorizing every bump and ridge, you both pull away for air, staring at each other, panting, with smiles painting your faces, Loki glides his hands down your arms, holding your hands softly, you break away, stepping into your room, you close your door, giving Loki one last smile before shutting it completely.

"Ah, so cute! We're so happy for you, Y/N! I'm glad it went so well." Wanda shrieks, yanking you and Natasha into a tight hug; you giggle with them, feeling on top of the world.

#loki #loki laufeyson #mcu loki #marvel loki #loki headcanons #loki imagine #loki x reader #loki odinson #loki fluff #loki x y/n #loki x you #loki x female reader #loki x f!reader #loki x reader fluff #loki fic #loki fanfic #loki god of mischief #marvel #mcu #marvel x reader #marvel headcanons #mcu x reader #tom hiddleston #tom hiddelston loki #tom hiddelston x reader #tom hiddelston imagine #loki laufeyson x y/n #loki laufesyon x reader #loki layfeyson imagine #jennys.work

[visionofvoid]

Messy Bed Sheets - PG10

Summary: “rule number four.”

Warnings: suggested and implied sex, implied female and male oral, implied p in v, protected sexW

Pairings: pierre gasly x oc

Word Count: 1205

PART TWO PART THREE

Before it began, they laid out some ground rules;

No soliciting the night before a race day, unless Pierre explicitly asks for it;

Pierre was in charge of making all the arrangements due to his busy schedule;

Pierre was to ignore all contact from Serena when it was her cycle, and finally;

Don’t fall in love

It seemed easy enough to follow. 

Serena recalled matching with Pierre on Tinder, she remembered thinking it was just another crypto king traveling the world that enjoyed race cars but she never imagined he would actually be a racecar driver with millions of fans. Pierre enjoyed the fact that Serena never really cared for Pierre Gasly, but instead enjoyed the late night conversations and the hushed breaths and moans on expensive silk bedding in hotels all over the world. He knew he was going above and beyond, paying for her to travel across Europe for a night or two, but he didn’t mind if it meant an expensive dinner and night in with $1000 wine with a beautiful girl that wanted nothing more than to earn her degree and just live. 

Pierre’s head rested on the soft pillows, his back slighting sitting up whilst he played aimlessly with Serena’s hair. The two both had a sweaty sheen on them, the bed sheets covering their naked bodies, though his chest was on full display. The past few months the two had explored all their fantasies, kinks and each other’s bodies. You could say they are quite in tune with one another on a more intimate level. 

“Something on your mind?” Serena questioned, turning her head slightly to rest on her hand that lay flat on Pierre’s exposed chest. Usually Pierre would clean up after they just had sex and the two would cuddle all the way into the night until Serena had to get ready and head home the next day, however the atmosphere felt significantly different this time. Something had changed. Serena watched Pierre’s cheekbones harden slightly, knowing that he was having an internal battle with himself. “Pierre, you can tell me.” Her fingers moved slightly, the movement warming up Pierre internally. 

“That was the last time.” He mumbled, looking everywhere but at Serena directly. He was always incredible at eye contact, something that Serena had only just started getting comfortable with. He saw from his peripheral the confusion on her face. This arrangement was good, and she genuinely cared. Just perhaps not in the way that Pierre wished for her to. “This, whatever this is, it ends tonight.” He reaffirmed, again keeping his gaze from Serena. 

“Can you tell me why?” Serena questioned. She could tell he was avoiding her face so she resorted to pulling back from him, wanting to give him space and ensure he was comfortable. If he was calling off the arrangement, she could only think of a handful of reasons why. The main reason was that he met someone else. Serena always knew that this was strictly a friends with benefits situation and despite the feelings she had developed for him over time, she valued his friendship more than anything to ruin it by speaking up, plus the sex was amazing. How often did you get amazing sex and a man that genuinely cared about female pleasure?

“I just- this ends tonight.” Pierre sighed, finally looking at Serena, catching her eyes staring up at his. He recalled the first time he saw them staring up at him, filled with absolute ecstasy, rolling into the back of her head as he glanced up from his position near her core just months prior, before the arrangement began. 

“Pierre, please. You can tell me anything.” Serena reassured, moving herself to match his position in the bed, one arm awkwardly nudging her way onto the pillow and the other holding onto the sheet to give her some discretion though it wasn’t like Pierre was a stranger to her naked body. Once again he refused to look at her, actually look at her and give his full undivided attention. 

The silence lasted a few more minutes, the air growing colder as they both started to breathe a little normally. Serena decided to stop pestering Pierre, no matter how nosy she was and how much she wanted to try and convince Pierre that it was a safe space. He obviously didn’t want to talk and she wouldn’t push that. She pushed herself to the side of the bed, letting the sheet fall where she once lay. She swung her legs over the side of the plus mattress, bending down to pick up her unmatching bra and panties. 

“What are you doing?” Pierre questioned as she put on her bra expertly, something he was always so fascinated by.

“I’ll go to sleep in the other room.” Serena grabbed her baggy shirt, throwing it over her chubby torso and turned to quickly look at him. “You said that was the last time. I’ll be gone in the morning.” The air was much different now. What was once a warm atmosphere with a hint of musk and champagne in the air was now cold and the scent of stale sex lingered. The atmosphere had changed between the two within minutes. Serena knew herself and knew that if she tried to convince Pierre to keep up with the arrangement that she would blurt out her feelings. 

Pierre was lost for words. He wasn’t too sure how to go about it, about his feelings. He was certain that this was just sex and an obligation of talking with Serena. He was certain that he was also falling for Serena. He knew that if he kept up with the arrangements he would only be damaging his feelings more than anything else.

The bed was big enough to sleep the two of them, even with space in between so they didn’t have to touch one another, it would be like your own bed. Pierre wanted to protest, he wanted to argue with Serena and beg for her to come back, that he was just joking. But instead he pushed his feelings aside and watched as she gathered her phone and handbag. How was it that she looked absolutely gorgeous in just a baggy shirt? Her hair knotted as it pooled down the back of the shirt, the middle of the shirt getting caught between her bra and skin, her thighs peeking out from the hem. She was the epitome of beauty. 

Serena opened the door leading into the conjoined room that Pierre always booked out of respect in case she wanted her own space and paused when she heard Pierre mumble. She stopped for a moment, her head turning slightly in the hopes he would repeat himself a little louder this time. When he finally did and her mind processed it, she was shocked. There was no way he could have known. 

Pierre took the pause and then eventual disappearance into the other room as evidence enough that his feelings were one sided. 

“Rule number four.”

#pierre gasly #pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly x oc #pierre gasly smut #formula one smut #formula 1 fanfic #formula one facfic #formular one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 smut

[mqsi]

Hey babes 💕 I'm being lazy so I'll put up a request. Would you write sth where Gavi gets teased by the team that he's Spain's little prince and the reader picks up on it leading to smut

Thank you, love

(Prince Gavi 👑🥺 is just >>>>)

Hey love,thank you for requesting💗 At first I didn’t know how to transition to smut part so I hope you like this🫶🏻

warning:smut

_______________________________________________

“So pretty boy,when are we seeing you on tv next to royal family?” Raphinha teasingly asked as the boys were leaving Camp Nou grounds after practice. You were supposed to meet Gavi outside so the two of you could go for casual brunch since you had free time.

Gavi clicked his tounge trying not to react to yet another joke about princess Leonor’s confession about him. Since that information spread out on the internet, the boys main idea of fun was teasing him about it before he explodes and gives them a reaction. And we are talking about Gavi here so that doesn’t take long.

“Guys he is just nervous about wearing all those shiny prince clothes, leave him for now” Pedri jumped in the conversation, waving his hands around to mimick Gavi appearing all sparkly as a newfound Spain prince. He was basically jogging away from them,trying to find you and escape another argument with his teammates. However, he heard your voice coming from behind him.

“Prince clothes, seriously Pedri?” you said feeling anger bubble inside as you were tired of the prince joke as well. Comments and articles on the internet strarted getting to you lately,most of them hyping up the “potential relationship” even tho Gavi was already taken and happy with you. You shoved past them at frist but when his teammates started talking about it you became really annoyed and insecure.

“Amor-“ Gavi tried reaching you before you burst but it was too late.

“No Pablo I don’t wanna hear it. They’ve been teasing you about it for who knows how long now so you’re obviously giving them a reason to!” you yelled.

“Shit we didn’t mean to make a fuss about this, sorry” Pedri said and rushed Raphinha and the others before things escalted.

“Y/n I told them to stop a million times but they think it’s so funny to joke about it so I started ignoring it. It’s definietly not what you think. So let’s just relax now and go where you want” Gavi said trying to calm you down.

“Forget about it let’s just go home” you said, your mood ruined.

You got home and layed on the couch in the living room when you heard Gavi yell from the bathroom.

“Amor can you come help me with something?”

You were still kinda angry but went upstairs regardless.

As you opened the door of the bathroom, your mood suddenly changed. Gavi was leaning against the counter, wet hair and boxers only, his erection evident trough thin material. You stopped at the door, staring at him.

“Come here” he said motioning towards the counter. You walked up to him, his mouth instantly caging you in a heated kiss. You moaned softly against his lips, his hand lightly tapping your thigh as an instruction to sit on the counter behind you. You jumped, spreading your legs letting Gavi get comfortable between them.

He grinded his erection against your shorts, the friction making him hiss and your panties wet.

“If you’re so worried about me leaving to become a prince I wanna show you who I belong to” he whispered while kissing your neck. His fingers found their way down to your clit, touching you trough your shorts.

“Pablo more” you moaned.

“So needy already” he said, stripping you down and getting on his knees.

He kissed your core lightly before licking a stripe, spreading your wetness on his tounge. He started sucking on your clit, making you squeeze your legs against his head, your fingers tangling in his still damp hair pulling him in.

“Fuck feels so good”

He hummed against you sending shivers down your spine. Before you could cum he pulled away, standing up and taking off his boxers. “Turn around for me princesa”

You smiled cause of the nickname and turned around, leaning your elbows against the counter. You met eyes with Gavi in the mirror that was now in front of you and felt him tease your entrance with his tip.

“Let me show you how much I love you” he said before thrusting into you. He started slow making you feel every centimeter of him before speeding up and grabbing you by your hair.

“Look in the mirror princesa, look who I’m making love to” he said as you became a moaning mess. “Of course it’s you, there is no other girl” he continued, now chasing his high.

“Pablo I’m so close” you whined, struggling to keep yourself up. His fingers started working on your clit and you snapped. Legs shaking, Gavi’s hands being the ones to keep you up. He followed soon after, emptying himself on your lower back. You turned around, your forehead against his.

“I love you” he said, trying to catch his breath

“I love you too prince” you replied, chuckling.

——————————————————————————

#footballer imagine #gavi x reader #pablo gavi #x reader #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi x reader #gavi smut #gavi blurb #gavi fanfic #gavi x you #gavi #gavi imagine #barcelona #fc barcelona #writer things #pablo martín páez gavira #pablo gavira #x you smut #x yn #hope you enjoy #this took longer than expected

[rebuilding-the-garg]

The Gargantuan Fossil

This post was from the beginning of my project, thus some information I’ve written here is outdated. Please read my recent posts to see up to date information.

The Gargantuan Fossil is one of the most recognizable parts of the mid-portion of Subnautica’s gameplay. Its sheer size strikes both terror and awe into the hearts of players who stumble upon it. It’s unfortunate that only a third of the creature’s fossilized remains can be seen. Even using the Freecam command to check under the map reveals that the rest of the skeleton remains unmodeled. This is all we have of the Leviathan.

“Gargantuan Fossil” is quite the accurate name, considering just a third of this creature’s skeleton measures 402 meters in length, with the creature’s total size being an estimated 1,100-1,500 meters. Just the skull itself is under 100 meters, and our human player character can nestle comfortably in even its smallest eye socket. I would’ve tried to show our human character’s model for a size comparison, but this thing is so large you wouldn’t even be able to see him.

There have been many different reconstructions of this behemoth of a fossil, the most popular being this commission piece made by Tapwing, for the YouTuber Anthomnia, shown below. And while it’s cool, it’s... not all that accurate.

In the past, I actually helped create a Gargantuan Leviathan mod based off Tapwing’s concept, working alongside other incredibly talented artists (who will remain anonymous, they can talk about their experiences as they please) and some... not so savory individuals. I don’t want to be associated with that old Garg. This reconstruction project is both a way for me to move on and make something better than what I had in the past, and to test my skills and knowledge in the various natural sciences.

Although there is a second specimen, the skull of a younger instance, this fossil holds no significant data outside of showing just how small these creatures start out as. As shown in the image below, despite being a much younger instance, our player character could still fit inside the Leviathan’s smallest eye socket, although it wouldn’t be as spacious as its adult counterpart.

The game’s PDA (Personal Data Assistant) states that the Gargantuan Fossil is approximately 3 million years old, which is INCREDIBLY RECENT. For reference, 3 million years ago we still shared the planet with multiple other hominid species like Australopithecus afarensis back in the mid Pliocene. The Subnautica we know today is a byproduct of a mass-extinction of megafauna, such as Leviathans. My guess as to how the Gargantuan got this big is a combination of deep-sea gigantism and an evolutionary arms race against the other megafauna alive during its time, with prey attempting to become larger than its predator to avoid predation, and the predator growing to continue this cycle. When this ancient ecosystem of leviathan-class super predators collapsed, likely because of the meteor that struck Planet 4546B, the Gargantuan Leviathan was out of a substantial food source and went extinct. It could be possible that these creatures even gave live birth due to their serpentine body and massive size, making them too large for life in the shallows, where laying eggs is easiest.

NOW. LET’S TALK ABOUT THE BONES!! It’s important to figure out if the Gargantuan Leviathan had a cartilaginous skeleton or a bony one, so let’s count the bones!!

There’s TWO WHOLE BONES!!! AND IF YOU LOOK NEXT TO IT!! THOSE RIBS ARE BONES TOO!!!! UWAA!!! SO MANY BONES!!!! How can we tell this is bones? It’s simple! Cartilage is rubbery and flexible, so it doesn't fossilize well, while bone is hard and rigid, perfect fossil material!! Cartilaginous skulls also tend to be made up of many little interlocking bones, with bony skulls being made up of only a small handful! 

Another thing I found interesting about the Gargantuan Skull is that it seems to have a ball and socket joint? This could have just been a similar mishap to the top and bottom jaws being fused in the skull’s model, but I’m trying to keep things as close to the original anatomy as possible. The ball and socket joint probably evolved to help with the burden of such a massive and heavy skull and allowing for greater speed and range of motion. In a world full of Leviathan-class predators, being able to have a wide range of motion would be extremely beneficial in locating both potential predators and prey.

Despite its immense size pushing the claim this Leviathan was an apex predator, it sports a small pair of horns, which is unheard of in large apex predators here on Earth. The darker coloration leads me to believe that these aren’t just horn cores, but the entire horn. These horns were most likely used to assist in defending itself against predators while it’s still small and vulnerable. It could also be a possibility they were used for threat displays and territory fights though it seems unlikely due to their small size. Sexual displays are also unlikely since just about every creature in Subnautica seems capable of asexual reproduction, as noted in the PDA entry for eggs. Asexual reproduction seems to be a very ancient basal trait in Planet 4546B’s evolutionary lineage and was most likely evolved to help species persevere even with low numbers and harsh conditions, preventing the dangers of inbreeding.

Overall, the skull’s shape and tooth structure suggest a piscivorous diet (of course it eats fish, the planet’s 99% water), and its shape specifically is reminiscent of an Orca and Redondasaurus. The lack of nostrils stumps me, there’s no openings in the skull aside from its eye sockets, however there’s also no evidence for a gill apparatus. I’m... going to have to come back to that at a later date. Though I personally believe the Gargantuan Leviathan was an air breather due to the lack of evidence for gills.

OKOK, ENOUGH ABOUT THE SKULL ASRIEL, WHAT ABOUT THE RIBS?

WELL... THE RIBS ARE... SOMETHING.

Behold! My very poor photomash of the same two images to show the total approximate length of the Gargantuan Leviathan, and a bad edit to show off what I believe the whole skeletal system would look like! (skeleton image credit)

Despite the game’s PDA describing the Gargantuan Leviathan’s body as “eel-like,” its skeletal structure is more reminiscent of a snake. The ribs show no indication of limbs, so it probably had a dorsal fin similar to eels or sea kraits.

One thing I’ve noticed about the Gargantuan’s ribcage is the existence of what appear to be bony, avian-like uncinate processes, which help the trunk’s muscles pump in and air out of the body, adding onto the idea that this leviathan breathed air. These uncinate processes in diving birds are especially long, which help reinforce the body and musculature, allowing the animal to stay underwater for longer periods of time.

My hypothesis for the role the Gargantuan Leviathan played in its ecosystem is similar to the Sperm Whales of our world, taking in large amounts of air before diving into the depths to fetch their food.

Next week, I’ll be doing more research into the skeleton and possibly beginning work on fleshing the Garg out! If there are any sciencey folks out on Tumblr who want to add their own input, feel free!! I want information!! Correct me if I got anything wrong!!

#long post #VERY long post #speculative biology #speculative paleobiology #paleontology #marine biology #fictional biology #subnautica #character analysis #monster biology #leviathan #gargantuan leviathan #essay

[mockerycrow]

I SEE YOU EVERYWHERE (Soap x GN!Reader)

soap masterlist

a/n: i wrote this after listening to this song. not proofread LOL enjoy. 984 words! also i’m sorry about how i’m basically non existent. i’m trying, y’all </3

[WARNINGS: MWIII spoilers, major character death, grief, mentions of catholicism. pure angst, hurt/little comfort.]

Sixty-seven days ago. Two months it’s been, approximately nine whole weeks. Estimating around ninety-five thousand minutes and over five million seconds. 

It’s been sixty-seven days since.. You know. You always wake up feeling like it happened sixty-seven seconds ago instead. Your eyes flutter open and you take a breath, inhaling a certain kind of heavy and thick into your lungs. Your chest expands uncomfortably in the morning, your ribs squeezing your lungs a bit tighter than before. Accompanied with the tightness of your chest is this tingling feeling, so slight it’s almost like background noise, just like how the past few weeks have felt. They’ve flown by in a flash, but at the same time, are oh so slow. 

Sometimes, you wake up expecting to see him standing over your sleeping form to wake you up after staying up a tad bit too late because he insisted you do so. So he wasn’t lonely because ‘The LT denied me’, in his words. Sometimes, your eyes are sick and twisted towards you. Your eyes are faster than your brain and you see him. You see his shadow so thick you’re convinced until you reach upwards, your fingers pushing through the dark smoke that enters your lungs after you’ve blinked. 

You’re sure the others have noticed the toll it’s taken, despite your efforts to hide. You know they’re hurting in their ways, too. Being in a tightly packed task force like this, you’re bound to know each other's tells. Part of you wonders who is hurting the most. Is it Gaz? The man who’s been the most logical out of all five four of you. Is it Ghost? The enigma of your group? He’s always been quiet, hard to read. Harder since.. Everything. Maybe it’s Price. He’s the one who actually saw, really. The one who watched him…

…

You feel something in your throat bubble, so you push the thought away. 

Then you come back to it. Maybe it’s you who’s hurting most, being his lover. The person he insisted that was his other half he had been looking for. Maybe that’s you being hopeful and cheesy; maybe it’s you being selfish. You aren’t sure. Honestly, you aren’t sure what you should be feeling, nor are you sure how your teammates should be reacting. There’s five stages of grief and everyone’s path looks different. 

Denial – you aren’t sure who you think denial is at first. Symptoms are fear, avoidance. What happened, you can’t avoid it. Not really when he was so integral to the team. Is. He never stopped being. After a few days of people watching, you’ve decided it’s you. You wanted to put it onto someone else at first, maybe Gaz—perhaps Ghost. They’re still.. Living. Going through the motions, at least. But you had to look at yourself late at night, around two forty-five am to ask, “are they the one’s waking up thinking he’s standing over them?”

No. They are not. It’s you. Of course it’s you.

Next—anger. You debated this one, of course it was tied between Ghost and Price but after Shepherd died, of course the Captain took that title with no question. There is a major difference between peaking into the gym, watching Ghost gasp for air after a night full of boxing and then hearing through Laswell the General has been killed. Major difference, indeed. It’s not often your Captain loses his cool and when he does, it’s for good reason. He deserved it, you only wish Price was more cruel.

Bargaining? It’s a no brainer, you decided as soon as you thought of it. Gaz. None of the men cry much, but it wasn’t a surprise when you found Gaz sitting on the steps outside of the temporary base, smoking a cigarette with misty eyes paired with a lost look. A look where he wasn’t completely there; lost somewhere, maybe in thought, maybe back in that moment. In the moment where he had to ignore his mutilated body to focus on the bomb. On the fact that Makarov was getting away. He lit a second cigarette.

Maybe it doesn’t quite fit him, but Ghost was the last one to decide for. Depression is what you ended up assigning him. There’s not many words for how you could describe him. Ghost’s been flighty, quiet yet hostile. He never means to snap at any of you of course, you all know it. You can tell from the heavy, long look he gives you after snarling at you like a cornered dog. He’s just sad and scared, something you can understand on a deeper level. With him, it feels like beckoning a wolf with bits of meat—a wolf who isn’t afraid to bare his teeth. You’re willing to get bit.

Then… what’s left?

Oh, yeah. 

Acceptance. Left for the one who is forever missing.

In a way, it feels wrong. You know he’ll never be able to move on like the rest of the world can. It feels even worse when you realize only a select amount of people will know about his death—the world won’t know who he is. Work in the dark to serve the light, hm? What a fucked world. After spreading his ashes across the hills, it feels like he’s become one with the Earth. Maybe that’s his form of acceptance; going back to what housed him. The green roots and blue skies. The rain that pours down over the ruined cities you’re crawling through, the beautiful stars and planets above you during a late night in God knows where. You see him everywhere.

You hope God is taking care of him, as you rub your fingers over his cross necklace. The last thing you have left of him; his dog tags sitting in a memorial on base. You may or may not believe, but Johnny sure did. And you know, somewhere deep down, he’s alright.

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