i want my childhood back, i want a do over, i want a retry i still have things i want to do.
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I can tell my mother tries.
Sometimes, I find her unreasonable through the way she nags about minuscule things. She catches my flaws quicker than I can catch myself. Sometimes, I find her overbearing. How she would excessively call me every time I go out alone. And every time, I would feel as if I was not given the same freedom or trust as my peers. Sometimes, she crosses my boundaries. Many times, we have made each other cry.
But I can tell she tries, nonetheless. I can tell she's trying to break the cycle. She's trying to be everything her own mother wasn't. She's trying to be the loving figure in my life that she's never had.
And she tries to listen. She tries her best to hear me out in ways her family never did.
I realize always, that is all I need.
Despite everything, she has loved and cared. She hugged me the tightest when I could not breathe from sobbing. She holds my hand when I am scared. She's always there to reassure me. She showers me with affection, kisses and cuddles and smiles.
She never fails to tell me that she loves me. She always tells me that she is proud of me, no matter what. I realize always, that is more than I need, more than anything I could ever ask for.
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