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autisticlancemcclain · 1 year

Text

“—Lance isn’t even paying attention!”

Lance looks up from his phone, noticing Pidge whining to Coran for the first time.

“I’m paying attention,” he lies.

Pidge ignores him. “It’s not fair! He should forfeit his movie vote! He’s not even gonna watch, anyway.” She turns to Lance, glaring. “He’s gonna be too busy texting Keith and making ga-ga eyes at his phone.”

“I will not!” he says, rapidly trying and failing to delete the ‘wish you were here, Dropout’ text he just sent. “I don’t — I wasn’t even texting Keith! I haven’t talked to him in days!”

Not a single person is fooled. Even Coran, who can regularly be counted upon to be on Lance’s side, is raising an eyebrow.

“Honest!” Lance insists.

“Ugh,” Pidge complains, glaring at him before flopping back on the couch. “I still think your vote shouldn’t count.”

Regardless of her petulance, Lance does get a vote, thank you very much. Unfortunately it comes with an abundance of teasing and wiggling eyebrows from the rest of the team, but whatever. At least his point was made, and he doesn’t have to watch whatever nerd documentary Pidge was gunning for.

To his credit, he does actually try to pay attention to the movie. It seems mildly interesting, at least, some kind of Altean classic, and usually he’d be able to at least appreciate the costumes. He really does try.

Fifteen minutes in, his phone buzzes slightly.

Absolutely not, he tells himself. Do not Pavlov yourself to his ringtone, because that would be humiliating. You can go two hours without talking to him. You’re basically a grown-up, for fuck’s sake. You barely even like him mostly. Plus, if Hunk reads over your shoulder and sees the messages you’re sending to him you will never recover.

Nodding resolutely to himself, he shoves his phone deeper in his pocket and returns his attention to the movie. There’s some kind of conflict happening, maybe between the two romantic leads?

Whatever. Lance is paying attention. The movie is just…unclear.

The second time the phone rings, reasoning with himself is much harder. After all, Shiro isn’t even trying to pretend he’s not falling asleep into his popcorn — he’s not paying attention. And Hunk is intently braiding Allura’s hair, so he’s not paying attention either. The point of family movie night is to spend a few hours in each other’s presence outside of training or missions or meals, so it totally counts even if Lance is on his phone, right?

He has to physically sit on his hands to keep himself from checking his messages. Pidge will needle you about it for eternity, he reminds himself, increasingly desperate.

The third time it buzzes, he gives up. His hands fly to his phone so fast he cringes at himself.

How embarrassing.

Fully aware his ears are bright red, he clicks on the notification, opening his and Keith’s communication line.

mullet-head:

lance? you there?

mullet-head:

did you fall asleep during movie night

mullet-head:

are you pulling an old man shiro

Lance smiles to himself, glancing over at the snoring leader of Voltron, drooling on Coran’s shoulder. Keith never misses a chance to clown on his brother, even if Shiro can’t even see it.

loverboy:

i did not fall asleep u butthead

loverboy:

i’m not shiro

loverboy:

i’m not six i don’t need naps

Keith doesn’t respond for a second, and Lance pictures him with his head thrown back, eyes squinted shut and mouth open wide in the startled way he laughs when he unintentionally finds Lance funny. It makes something warm and simultaneously bitter churn in his belly, thinking of how many lightyears away he is from that brighter-than-the-sun laughter.

mullet-head:

stop making me laugh i’m going to get caught

mullet-head:

i’m on some boring patrol i’m not supposed to be on my phone

Lance narrows his eyes in alarm. If that dumbass is texting him instead of paying attention on a mission, he swears —

loverboy:

patrol where??

loverboy:

please don’t tell me ur dicking around on ur phone on a GALRA BASE

mullet-head:

no no no it’s some supply centre

mullet-head:

look

The texting bubble spins for a moment, loading, then a video comes through. Lance glances around the room surreptitiously, but no one is paying any attention to him. Pidge is chatting quietly with Allura, Coran is totally wrapped up in the film, Shiro’s still sleeping, and Hunk has moved to Allura’s other side to braid the hair on that half of her head. Still, he turns the volume as low as he can, angling the phone away from the others.

The video footage is shaky at first, eventually settling on Keith’s face. He looks good — well fed, healthy.

Handsome.

Embarrassed, Lance pauses the video, taking a moment to observe Keith’s face. It’s stupid and gay and sentimental, but — Lance has been looking for a reason to ask Keith to send him a picture, a video, hell, a voice message. Something to confirm, aside from texts, that he’s alive and well, something for Lance to hold on to, a glimpse of the face he’s missed so dearly (not that he’ll admit it). He’s been too embarrassed to ask, but wanting to feel like he’s in the same room as Keith again.

“I thought the Arizona desert was boring,” video Keith says, exasperated. “But at least it has cool lizards. This place has nothing but rocks, sand, and more rocks. Look.”

The video flips around, showing off Keith’s view. He slowly moves the camera to the side, presumably so Lance can see just how boring the rocks and sand and more rocks is.

Lance squints.

Hang on a second.

Is that flurexonomite?

He rewinds the video slightly, pausing it when he sees it again. He brings the phone close to his face, looking as closely as he can, and lets out a delighted little laugh when he sees it.

It is! It’s flurexonomite!

loverboy:

GET ME THAT ROCK

loverboy:

PLEASE

He screenshots the frame with the rock in it, circling it and sending it back.

loverboy:

THIS ONE

mullet-head:

are you serious

mullet-head:

i send you a video of this boring ass desert that i’m stuck in

mullet-head:

and you focus

mullet-head:

on a rock

mullet-head:

you massive nerd

Lance pouts, even though Keith can’t see it and feel properly guilty. That’s not fair. He’s not a nerd. Rocks are just cool! And he hasn’t been able to find flurexonomite, possibly the coolest of all space rocks that Coran has ever told him about, anywhere!

loverboy:

PLEASE JUST GET ME THE ROCK I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER

mullet-head:

i cannot believe what i am reading with my own two eyeballs

mullet-head:

you

mullet-head:

who calls hunk and pidge a nerd every single day for any reason

Lance can’t help his defensive scoff.

“Everything okay, buddy?” Hunk asks, beyond amused. Lance shoves his phone in his pocket, or tries to, but he’s flustered, so somehow in his panic the phone goes flying out of his hand and onto the floor, face-up, messages clearly displayed.

Lance has never moved so quickly in his life.

He scrambles to the floor faster than he can even register he’s doing it, rolling right off the couch and throwing himself at the device. Unfortunately, Pidge reaches it first, scooping it up with a cackle and tossing it to Hunk.

“Read it out loud!”

“No!” Lance screeches, lunging after the device. Hunk is quick, though, standing on top of the cushions and holding the phone far out of his reach.

“‘Wish you were here, Dropout —’” he starts, gleeful.

“Stop! Shut up! That was a typo!” He attempts to climb Hunk to no avail; the man simply holding him away with one big arm. He’s not even struggling.

Lance knows how embarrassing some of those messages are. He cannot let them see the light of day. The time has come for drastic measure.

Somehow anticipating Lance’s impending violence, Hunk tosses the phone to Allura, who catches it easily and runs to the other couch.

“‘Saw someone dressed in all black on our last diplomatic mission and thought of your emo ass,’” Allura recites.

Lance screams, collapsing to the floor. He won’t be able to wrestle his phone away from her. She could kill him with a toothpick, probably.

He is doomed.

Allura clicks a few buttons and then laughs particularly evilly, making something ice cold shoots through Lance’s veins.

She hasn’t found his notes app, has she?

He can’t risk it. If anyone finds out what he’s written on there — oh, God, there are angsty song lyrics. About Keith. He is going to die. He is going to melt into a puddle of humiliated goo. This cannot happen.

With an ear-splitting war cry, he jumps to his feet, sprinting at her at tops speeds and tackling her to the ground. Before she can react, he yanks the phone from her hand and scrambles away at the speed of light. He dashes out of the common room before anyone can stop him, speeding to his room and locking the door behind him. He walks over to his bed and flops onto it, screaming into his pillow as loudly as he can, face the colour of a red star going supernova and just as hot.

“Every part of being alive is a prison,” he laments to no one. He vows to wallow in his own self-pity for all of eternity.

His phone buzzes.

He gets up to check it so fast he honestly has to take a moment to consider if being this gay is truly worth it.

mullet-head:

video.attachment

He brightens. Two videos in one day?!

Being this gay is worth it, apparently!

“You are truly the biggest nerd I know,” video Keith tells him solemnly. His indigo eyes are bright in amusement — soft, even. He takes two steps and then bends down — Lance keeps his eyes firmly on his friend’s face, he does, he does — and picks up the brown, dusty rock.

Lance heart skips a beat when he realizes it’s the exact right rock, the first time. Keith must have looked very carefully at the photo to get the right rock, for all his teasing. The rock is as tiny as a pinky nail, and it doesn’t exactly stand out.

God, Lance loves him so fucking much.

Video Keith slips the rock into his pocket. “You’re lucky you have me, you goober.”

The familiar banter makes Lance smile wider. It took he and Keith a long time and a lot of understanding to come to the point where they are now, the familiarity, the comfort he knows Keith must feel around him to let his guard down so blatantly, to be so transparently teasing and playful.

It makes his heart hurt, a little. He wishes there wasn’t a screen and a bajillion miles between them.

———

The worst part about the Blades, Keith thinks, is that there’s absolutely zero in between. He’s either bored out of his mind, polishing his sword while patrolling some random supply station, or he’s running for his life, barely making it out of an exploding Galra warship in time to keep all his limbs. There are no middle moments, no time for him to be anything but praying for death to at least put him out of his mind-numbing misery or praying to make it out of a situation alive. No family meals, no strange space mall supply runs, no training with Altean superhumans.

He misses his family.

But he knows he can’t go back. At least not permanently. He made this decision for a reason, and that reason is more important to him than a little bit of boredom or some measly mortal peril.

(Lance is more important to him than a little bit of boredom or some measly mortal peril.)

He sighs as he stares at the bunk above him, tracing the shadows of the bed for the zillionth time. He’s not tired at all, but there’s fuck else for him to do in between now and his next mission. He’s already trained all day today, and there’s only so much he can do with a sword before he wants to put it through his own head.

He misses training with a partner.

He shifts around, looking for his phone. It’s late, and he can’t text Lance — the dumbass is in a healing pod right now because he pulled a Keith and tried to fight a nine foot tall Galran commander with his own two hands to cover for someone — but maybe he can send him a couple messages, anyway. Just for when he wakes up.

It’s not like he has anything better to do.

He leans over as far as he feasibly can in his bunk, trying to reach his uniform. He manages to hook his finger around the sleeve, pulling it closer until he can reach his pocket. He thinks he left his phone in the right one, if he can just pinch the corner —

His hand runs over something small and rough, and he stills.

He pulls out a rock, and for a minute he’s confused — he just washed this thing and he’s been on base for three days, how the hell did a rock get in there — then it hits him.

He smiles. This is Lance’s dorky rock.

He leans back onto the mattress, holding the rock out in front of him. It sparkles slightly in the low light of the barracks, it’s many minerals catching the glow of the Balmeran crystals. It looks like a tiny little jewel in his hands, like a sparkling piece of amber.

Like Lance’s eyes.

Immediately he’s embarrassed with himself for thinking it. It’s so — it’s such a fucking gooey thing to think, to compare this sparking crystal to the deep brown of his teammate’s eyes. It’s not even the right brown, anyway. This rock is on the lighter side — Lance eyes aren’t as ambery orange. In the right shadowy lighting, they’re more of a black, so endlessly dark that you could lose yourself in them, that you could be swallowed right up in the look.

Not always, though. Keith lifts the rock up a little higher, holding it right in front of one of the crystals, and squints, letting his eyesight go blurry.

Once, when they were on a planet startlingly like Earth, Keith and Lance snuck off from a gala and ran to the beach to watch the sunset. Lance has smiled so wide, then, squishing his whole face, and when the golden rays of the settling sun had hit his eyes, they melted into a honeyed amber the exact same shade of the crystal. Keith remembers his mouth going dry, his mind going completely blank. He’d been so starstruck by the sight that he hadn’t even dared to breathe.

Lance had thrown sand at him for staring, and cackled as Keith cussed him out.

Keith pulls his blanket up to his chin, smiling. He closes his eyes, rhythmically rubbing the roughened crystal.

He falls asleep faster than he ever has before.

———

The castle is buzzing with excitement.

Most of its resident are too excited even for words. Breakfast is a mess, everyone bouncing in their seats, grinning so wide they can barely eat. Pidge inhales her food so fast she chokes. Hunk sporks himself in the nose, not paying attention.

It’s visiting day.

In less than two vargas, Keith is going to land a pod in the hangar, here to stay for two full days. One of those days will be a mission, sure, but after that they’ll have several hours to just hang out with their friend for a while, catch up, remember how much they miss him. It’s exhilarating.

They all gather in the hangar when he messages to say he’s close, practically vibrating in place. None of them speak, too pumped for words. They all watch the doors with wide eyes, reading to sprint the moment they open and Keith lands safely.

Only, one of them is too impatient to wait that long.

“Keith!” Lance cries, sprinting forward when the pod is a foot from the ground. Before the pod even lands, the hatch is thrown open, and Keith comes tumbling out, half falling to the floor.

“Lance!”

They crash into each other so hard it’s a miracle they manage to stay standing, embracing so tightly it has to be painful.

“You know, I was once married,” Coran remarks. “I went on a two-decaphoebe exploratory mission in that time. When I returned, I was not embraced that tightly.”

“That’s because you didn’t have an intensely homoerotic rivalry and then a weird half-friendship half-romantic relationship you refuse to acknowledge as such that racketed up your sexual tension to levels that cannot be recorded,” Shiro explains.

Four pairs of eyes blink at him.

“Nobody is as gay as they are,” he simplifies.

“Well, gay or not, I’ve lost patience. Lance does not get to hog all the Keith time, not on my watch.” Hunk marches towards the couple (couple of besties) and lifts them both off the ground in a hug that looks to have rearranged their spinal cords. “Keith! Buddy! We missed you!”

The rest of the team rushes in soon after, hugging and holding and generally just piling Keith with all the love they’ve pent up in his absence. Keith is bright red by the end of it, but visibly pleased, obviously flattered.

“I missed y’all too,” he says. “Seriously. Blades aren’t the same.”

With a herculean amount of strength, they manage to pull away to give Keith some space, heading towards the briefing room to prepare for their mission. They have a fleet to destroy, after all, and an Empire to cripple.

And, of course, the faster they complete their mission, the more time they can spend together with no obligations looming over their heads.

They debrief quickly, making sure not to miss any important information but determined not to dilly dally. They split up to suit up, then run off to their respective hangars, ready and rearing to go. Keith lingers for a second next to Lance.

“Good luck, Sharpshooter.”

Lance grins. “I don’t need it, Samurai. I’m going to kick your ass.”

“Wrong ass to be kicking, dontcha think?”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Keith, you’re with me,” Shiro reminds him, when neither fool looks to be focusing on the impending mission, gently knocking his brother’s shoulders.

Keith nods. “Yeah, coming.” He jogs away from Lance, flashing him one last smile. As he turns to corner, he pulls out the crystal from his pocket, gently pressing it to his lips before slipping it back where he got it.

“What’s that?” Shiro asks, gesturing to the pocket.

Keith looks shifty, like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t. “Uh, just a good luck charm.”

“Since when do you believe in luck?”

Keith shrugs. “Since I started feeling lucky, I guess.”

Far behind them, stopped to tie his bootlace, Lance stares at where the brothers disappeared into the Black Lion’s hangar, wide-eyed.

He recognises that rock.

———

Several hours later, six paladins dock back on the castle, exhausted but satisfied.

“Man, I missed having a full team. That mission was way less horrible than usual,” Pidge says.

“Indeed,” Allura agrees tiredly.

“Almost like we had a good luck charm,” Lance whispers to himself, too quiet for anyone else to hear.

Shiro smiles at them all. “You did great, team. This was by far the most successful mission we’ve had in months.” He turns his smile to Keith in particular, who grins right back. “We missed you, buddy.”

“Missed you too,” Keith murmurs.

“We’ll have plenty of time to catch up tomorrow,” Coran says. “Right now we are all exhausted. Off to bed, my dears.”

They all comply without protest, stumbling out of the bridge and down the halls to their rooms. Keith and Lance walk together. It makes Lance smile, remembering when they used to walk each other to bed, everyone else long asleep, stupid tired after a late night of planning. He doesn’t miss the stress, but he does miss leading with Keith, more than he’d like to admit.

“Hey, wait,” Keith says as they approach their bedroom doors, hand on Lance bicep to stop him.

“What’s up?”

“I, uh, have something for you.” He digs around in his pockets, looking panicked for a moment when he can’t find whatever it is he’s looking for, then visibly relieved when his fist encloses around it. He holds it out to Lance, who accepts it without question. Onto Lance’s palm he drops a sparking brown crystal.

“The flurexonomite,” Lance says, grinning.

Keith rocks back on his heels. “Yeah. I’ve been keeping it safe, you nerd.”

Lance looks up at him softly, unable to summon any playful exasperation at the tease. “Thank you, Keith.”

Keith smiles softly at him. “‘Course.” He puts his hand on his lockpad, opening the sliding door. “Night, Bluebell.”

“Goodnight, Willie Nelson.”

———

The next day is as crowded and energy-filled as expected. To avoid fights over Keith-time, the paladins had made a schedule: most of the day will be spent all together, but each person gets one designated hour of one-on-one time to do as they please. Keith gets dragged from person to person, blushing every time someone grumbles about not having enough time, from sparring with Shiro, swimming with Lance, and painting his nails with Allura.

He cries four separate times. It’s nice to remember how loved he truly is.

As days tend to do, however, it eventually comes to an end. Supper is a somewhat bittersweet affair, everyone knowing that once it’s over, Keith has to head back to his pod, and they won’t see him again for weeks, even months.

They try to make the most of it.

Hunk and Lance cook up something to honour the occasion, Pidge at the kitchen door with Lance’s gun to prevent Shiro, Coran, and Keith himself from so much as looking at the food so they don’t fuck it up somehow. Allura serves her solemn duty as taste-tester, ensuring all food is fit for a royal feast.

It’s amazingly thoughtful, even though Pidge is way too trigger happy. Keith cries again halfway through supper, and half the table joins him.

By the time the team walks him to his pod, they’re all pretty cried out, and determined to put on a happy face. They all hug Keith for way too long and with way too much force, each making him swear to call and text frequently, and to not do stupid things or get himself killed. Keith promises to do one of those things.

Eventually they all, with very knowing and smug looks, wave goodbye and head out, leaving Lance and Keith alone. Both pointedly pretend that they’re not embarrassed about it.

“I have something for you,” Lance says, when Shiro finally exits.

Keith glances at his gigantic care package of collective gifts from the rest of the team, raising an amused eyebrow. “Will I have space for it? The barracks at the Blade are small as shit, you know.”

Lance huffs a laugh, nervous smile pulling at his lips. “It’s, uh, pretty small. Promise.”

He takes a deep breath, steeling himself, then grabs something out of his pocket, holding his fist out to Keith. In his outstretched palm, a mirror of the night before, he drops a silver chain, attached onto a small —

A small, brown stone.

The flurexonomite.

“Good luck charm,” Lance explains quietly. He hesitates for a moment, then powers on. “And a piece of me to carry with you. If you want it.”

For a moment Keith gapes at the precious thing in his palm, the chain Lance must have made by hand sometime when Keith was hanging out with the rest of the team today. It’s simple, just the chain and the rock, but to Keith it’s more valuable than all the universe’ riches put together. To him it’s everything. To him it’s a message.

It is, without even a sliver of a doubt, a manifestation of Lance’s feelings for him. Of his feelings for Lance, too, having picked up the stone at all.

Keith decides to hell with the waiting. To hell with the war, with the consequences, with the long-distance. He grabs Lance’s face in his hands and kisses him as hard and fast as he has been wanting to for longer than he’s willing to admit.

“I fucking love you so much,” he mutters against soft, ful lips. He feels Lance’s smile.

“Yeah no shit, stupid. I gathered that when you kissed the rick I begged you to pick up for me before a mission, like it was a picture of your sweetheart in World War Two.”

Keith huffs, but can’t resist kissing him again. “Are you physically incapable of saying I love you back like a normal person, you dickhead?”

Lance laughs loudly enough to disrupt the kiss. “Yes.” A beat. “I love you too, mulletbrain. If that wasn’t abundantly clear.”

Keith smiles, kissing him one last time before pulling away. “It was.”

He lets Lance clasp the necklace around his neck, relishing in the touch of Lance’s cold fingers on his skin, committing the feeling to memory.

“I’ll miss you,” he says from the pilot seat. “I’ll call you.”

“If you don’t, I’ll fly Red to the Blades and kick your ass,” Lance informs him.

Keith feels like his heart is going to burst. “I don’t doubt it.”

When he finally takes off, castle shrinking to a dot behind him, the weight of his good luck charm around his neck makes leaving feel like less of a goodbye.

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angelofthenight · 4 months

Text

The Monster You Created Pt.12

(Sam Fortner x Reader)

Warnings: Yandere!Sam, Dark themes, Swearing, Kidnapping situation, Unreciprocated love, YN has a fear that Sam will assault her, YN talks about her emotionally abusive dad, YN was awful to her mom, Toxic exes, Toxic bf, Fear of stockholm syndrome, Self blame, Memory of dad leaving

Word Count: 4.4k

Table of Contents

( POOKIES SO SORRY THIS TOOK LIKE TWO YRS BUT THINGS WILL SOON PICK UP IN THE BOOK IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OR TWO )

You stirred awake in the warm cocoon of the blankets, rubbing your face into the pillow. The fresh November coldness hovered against the walls which did nothing but make you lazier while wrapped in cotton. But the heavy weight of the realization of waking up was enough motivation to push yourself up. You wanted to stay awake longer last night to keep listening to Sam and Alan’s conversation but you couldn’t fight off sleep for very much longer. You tried to pinpoint what was the last few things you heard before drifting off but your memories of real life and your memories of your dreams were blending together, making it unclear.

You lifted yourself up enough so that your back was pressed against the wall, rubbing your eyes to rid your fuzzy vision as you tried to focus on Alan who sat cross legged on a mattress in the far left corner. You focused on the chain still trapping his ankle but his seemed to be even shorter than yours, not close to being long enough to open the sliding door.

You shifted your attention to the center table that held a plate of the dinner you didn’t touch last night that Sam said was going to be your lunch. Have you really been asleep till lunchtime? It wouldn’t surprise you though. Your sleeping schedule has been very sloppy and inconsistent lately. The colder the weather got, the more you layered on blankets. And the comfier you were the heavier and deeper you slept. You hated that. You wanted to know exactly when Sam would momentarily leave his room during the night, still vigilant over the reminding thought that he has watched you sleep before.

But you would feel safer if Alan stayed in the same room as you, just in case Sam tried anything and Alan would be there to verbally protect you. …Unless he was just like Sam’s mom and believed everything would be easier if they just let Sam do whatever he wanted with you; believing everyone would be safe if you just surrendered yourself over to his love.

But you knew that was not true. At first, you felt selfish for refusing to give yourself to him, knowingly endangering lives. But you knew that kind of thinking Sam has. Being guilted into a relationship does not fix the man.

You’ve never been in that kind of relationship, but one your friends from highschool has. A boy in her class had a huge crush on her and made it everyone’s problem. He would follow her around the school despite her protests and would mouth off anyone who tried to defend her. He was a short, little nightmare. That same boys’ friends privately begged talked to your friend and told her he would stop being crazy and be normal if she just dated him. She was guilted into dating him. And he did not change. He acted the same exact way except this time he got way worse and even tried to gain control over her whole life, both social and personal and trying to rearrange exactly who she could hang out with.

Thank god your friend reached her breaking point and cursed him out in a humiliating way in the hallways in front of everyone. The boy was so mortified and humiliated that he avoided her the rest of highschool. You wished you could do that. You knew exactly what you wanted to say to Sam, what insults and names you’d call him. But that wouldn’t embarrass him, it would infuriate him.

Your mind returned to you from the memory as your eyes refocused on an eyes-closed Alan still cross legged on the mattress. “What are you doing?” You spoke up softly, a slight scratch to your tired voice.

Alan took an inhale, not yet opening his eyes. “Meditating.”

You scooted upwards to create a more comfortable sitting position on the bed. “Why?” You asked neutrally and a look of downcast. Alan spoke slowly and softly. “My wife would always tell me that it helped clear the mind and reset your state of stress levels.”

You watched him for a bit, observing his form and breathing pattern. You wondered if it helped. You were never one for meditation or yoga or any self care in general. However, you couldn’t remember a time when your stress levels were down. You always had a different weight on your shoulders throughout all the stages in your life, and ever since you’d been kidnapped you couldn’t even remember what it felt like to be calm.

“Does it work?” You questioned quietly, almost shy in a sense. Alan opened his eyes, his posture slumping and he stared at the carpet with mental exhaustion practically writing his features. “I don’t know. I can never do it right. This was always more of my wife’s thing than mine.”

You sadly stared at the man’s obvious downgrade in overall attitude at the mention of his partner. I guess that made two of you with a lover left alone at home. “I bet your wife is missing you terribly.”

“It’s the opposite. She’s passed.” He stated hesitantly, causing your expression to stiffen and your fingers found themselves trying to knot together. “…Oh. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t respond.

You chomped down on your bottom lip with agonizing awkwardness. Your eyes scanned the room for anything to occupy yourself with and you walked to the table in annoyed defeat to eat the leftover food from last night. You hovered your fingertips over the food only to sigh at its low temperature. Your empty stomach growled at you prompting your hand to force the cold food down your own throat.

“Sam’s at work right?” You asked after the first miserable bite. Alan answered simply. “Yes.” He raised his head to face you and spoke carefully with the scratch till present in his voice. “He told me all about the man at your work that you talked with and how he looked at you in an inappropriate way. And how that same man is friends with his supervisor and talked about you in another-”

You cut him off after noting he clearly didn’t want to use more specific words in order to spare your comfort. “I know. He told me that story. Crazy thing is I barely remember that guy. I meet, like, a hundred faces and names a day and I’m used to some of them being creeps. It’s just the female experience.” You noticed the discomfort you spread to Alan and directed the conversation back towards Sam. “What else did he say about that? Does he still want to kill him?”

Alan deeply sighed, vaguely nodding as he still stared at the carpet. “…Yes. He didn’t sound so calm when he talked about it. He’s still very angry. I tried to make him focus on the positive side that he’s been holding back this long. But I don’t think he sees that as a notable accomplishment.” After you ate a few more bites he added, “When he comes back, I’m going to try and convince him to unchain me.”

You scoffed at his naivety, already knowing exactly all the plans conducting in his brain because you thought of them first. They’ve never worked and the others take too much time. “Don’t bother. He’d probably say something douchey like… ‘The chain's on your leg, not on your mouth’.”

Alan looked at you in deep thought as you continued eating with a slight cringe. It was weird to him, he knew a lot about you (minus the lies Sam admitted to making about yours and his relationship) yet he didn’t actually know you. Sam kidnapped him and brought him here for you.

In hindsight, he didn’t truly know anything about you. At least from your own mouth. And despite the main reason that Sam just wanted him to basically convince you to fall for Sam, Alan hated that he believed that there was something actually going on with you. Something you didn’t think you needed help with, something you didn’t consider wrong, something you kept buried within you. Something you really did need help with, not for Sam’s sake but for your own sake.

“(Y/n).” You looked up to catch his focused gaze. “For us to work together against him, I need to know the truth from you.” He paused for a beat. “How bad was your relationship with your father? Was he physical like Sam’s?”

You physically tensed up from the mention of your dad, your jaw tightening that Alan even brought him up in the first place. Your eyes hastily thrashed down to your food as you began to play with it a bit with a physically irked expression. “My dad was an asshole who didn’t care about me. That’s all there is to it and that’s all you need to know.” You spat. You didn’t want to come across as that foul, especially towards your fellow prisoner who’s obviously not doing great mentally, but you just got very worked up with the subject.

“You have to give me more to work with, (Y/n). Have you ever done therapy?” Alan asked before you shook your head, still keeping your eyes glued below you. “No, not unless rehab counts.” “Well, in effective and healthy therapy the patient-” You instantly cut him off with a harsh bite, your eyes finally looking up to throw a glare his way. “I’m not your patient though. Even though Sam brought you here for me, don’t ever turn our conversations into sessions. I already have one man on my back trying to fix what’s not broken, and I don’t need another.”

Alan cleared his throat and straightened his back. “I understand. Don’t look at me like your therapist then. Look at me as someone you can vent to without having to worry about any manipulation or consequences. Whatever is spoken between us will never be known to Sam. Unless of your consent.” He stated clearly and calmly.

You sighed and your eyebrows began to curve upwards. You let the fork slip out of your fingers before leaning back into your chair. “At five years old my dad basically declared me the biggest failure of a human being. He was a man impossible to satisfy and treated me more like an annoying dog in his house rather than a daughter.” Your lips puckered to prevent them from quivering. “He hated me. And still to this day, I have no idea why.”

Alan’s frown sincerely deepened. “What about your mother?”

“I was an asshole to her. Before and after my dad left. Before, I was trying to get my dad to like me by joining him in berating her and mocking her. I would even verbally take his side on arguments that didn’t even involve me. And after, I just needed someone to blame for my dad leaving.” You felt your eyes begin to scarcely burn, your mind going back to all the times you yelled at that poor woman. “She deserved a better daughter than me. I think when I moved out it was the next best thing that happened to her next to my dad leaving.”

“You shouldn’t think like that.” Alan comforted you but you refused it. “Well you weren’t there to see how I treated her.”

“And what’s your dating history like?” Alan continued, wanting to know the full layout of the people who played significant roles in your life. Especially the ones that could’ve led Sam to believe in your unhealthy relationship with men who resemble your father. You crossed your arms to let your elbows rest on top of your knees, a shrug pulling your shoulders. “Just a lot of bad guys. They all specialized in their own form of assholery. And I was always the one being broken up with. Never the other way around.” Your eyes frowned with your lips.

Alan slowly nodded. “I see… And what’s your current boyfriend like?”

Your frown twitched but eventually went upturned. “He’s a good, sweet person. More of a man than all my exes combined. He helps make me a better person.” Even a colorblind newborn could see the red flag waving through those words. Alan shifted in his seat, wanting to put all the pieces together but almost scared to. Because then that would make Sam right. “How so?”

“He lets me know when I’ve done something wrong and how I can correct my behavior.” You narrowed your eyes on the older man. “Alan, no matter what Sam tells you, my boyfriend is a good person.” He ignored your last statement, much too focused on what your explanation could mean. “(Y/n)... how often does your boyfriend criticize you?”

“When it’s due.”

“But how often?”

You rolled your eyes. “Look, I make a lot of mistakes and questionable decisions, alright? Thank god I had him with me to stop me from embarrassing myself.” You defended brashly.

“But what exactly-” Alan’s nearly fearful tone was snapped off by the skyrocket pace of your heart as you quickly shushed him, your eyes blown open by a foreboding sound of a truck. “He’s back.” You squeaked before practically throwing yourself off the chair and back into the bed, not wanting to be in a space that was welcoming a conversation.

However, you didn’t plop your head onto the pillow immediately as a certain train of thoughts began chugging around your mind. Your bottom lip felt heavy and cold as you spoke up. “Alan?” Said man looked up at you with concern and curiosity. “Yes?”

You straightened up your form to say what you wanted to get off your chest in front of a trained professional for that exact sort of thing. “As much as I hate what he’s doing to me, it’s really hard for me to accept Sam’s a murderer.” You said, quietly yet shakingly, with your eyes locked on the sheets. “I can’t even picture him doing… that. I’m still clinging to that soft spot I have for that sweet and bashful Sam that became a regular customer then a friend to me.”

You finally lifted your blurry, glossy gaze to set onto Alan. “This isn’t the beginning of Stockholm Syndrome, right?” You asked with a fear weighing down your voice. Alan frowned deeply at your question and expression. “It doesn’t appear that way to me. You’re just suffering a very cruel and traumatic betrayal. And I’m sorry you have to go through all this.”

Your lips began to quiver as you slowly looked toward the ground, the weight of everything gradually closing in on you. Little voices that sounded like your own crawled around your head, whispers that overlapped with each other that this was all your fault. Everything that has happened was because of your decisions. You were the one to blame. “No. I’m sorry.” You said with a hushed tone. “It’s my fault you’re even here in the first place.”

You couldn’t tell if Alan was speaking or not, you couldn’t hear over the haunting and self-blaming thoughts that chewed away at your brain like nasty little woodworms. They were so intense and painful, triggering hefty tears to swarm your eyes and slip over your bottom lashes, that you didn’t even hear or register Sam walking in through the sliding screen door and holding up two bags.

“Hope you guys like Pierogies.” Sam announced with a smile of self-approval. However it was very short lived when his attention instantly locked onto you, seeing your quivering sobbing lips and tears before his very own eyes. His heart broke and dropped down to the pit of his stomach. He practically threw himself across the room, dropping the dinner on the table once he passed it, to fall to his knees by your side.

“Woah, woah, why are you crying?” He asked as gently as he could as his hands hovered over your arm and shoulder, not knowing if you would either be okay with him touching you or would bite his head off. His heartbroken worry, though, was quickly replaced with an overprotective anger. He whipped his head over his shoulder to send Alan a nasty glaring snarl. “What the fuck did you say to her!?” He barked out loudly over your tearful whimpers.

“Sam.” Your meek voice perked up the said man’s ears, that anger vanishing like a spec of sand by the power of that voice of yours. The voice of the thing that mattered most to him in the entire world. He looked back up to you to meet your weeping eyes. “You have to let Alan go.” You told him in between your sniffles and shaky breaths from your sobs. “It was a mistake bringing him here. You should’ve kept this between us.”

Sam’s brows curved upward as he finally placed his hands softly on your knees. He appeared so submissive and lovesick by the way he looked up at you on his knees. “I’m sorry but you know I can’t do that. He knows too much now, too much stuff leads back to this location.” He said as he rubbed small circles on your knees. “And you need help. He’s gonna help me help you.”

You sniffled one more time before your quaking lips shifted into a harsh frown, eyebrows sharpening into a V shape as well with your gaze growing fiery with hate. “Don’t you get it?! I don’t want your help! And please back up!” You wailed as you thrashed your legs away from his unwanted massage.

Sam extended his arms in an attempt to reach you with the intent of making you calm down despite your clear objecting distaste, but Alan’s voice wrung out quickly before anything could have happened. “Sam, when she’s like this you have to know boundaries and give her space.”

The brunet stalker took a second to ponder before sighing, “You’re right.”, rising to his feet and turning his back to you to walk back to the bagged food. “You know last time she threw a big crying fit, she used it as a ploy to escape.” He told Alan with a bitter scoff while he pulled out one of the white boxes from the bag.

He walked back up to you, keeping a certain distance, and lightly tossed the box with food in it to the space next to you. “Here. You can eat in your bed. Away from me.” He said with a bitter smile aimed at your back. “We’re having a session after dinner though.” He added over his shoulder at you as he sat down to eat with Alan.

You released a few more breathy whimpers before rubbing your palms across your cheeks, trying to pull yourself together so that you could eat. You kept your back turned to the men as you ate the dinner in the corner of your bed like you were in time out. You listened to their conversation when Alan began with, “(Y/n) told me you live with your mother”.

Sam shot your back an irked look, not appreciating that you felt it was your place to spill that secret. “Is this the house you grew up in?” Alan continued. Sam snatched his food so that he could lean back in his chair, releasing a gruff sigh. “Yup.”

Alan prompted Sam to tell him more about his comforting relationship with his mother and his abusive, power imbalanced one with his father. Sam even briefly told a quick version of when his father left him. This triggered your own overview.

You remember your dad leaving in vivid detail, as if you just experienced it merely a few hours ago. And sometimes you still felt those emotions as vividly as you felt them in that moment. And sometimes you felt as if you were still in that moment, as if you never left it in the first place, as if you were stuck in a never ending time loop with the outcome being the same each and every time.

You remember how the sky looked with light gray clouds passing by and allowing the blue sky to peek through. You remember what you were wearing, from your hairstyle down to your socks. You remember what your dad was wearing and the exact shades of color his packed bags were and how many there were. You remember how he moved every muscle of his stoic yet aggravated expression.

You remember every single word from both of your mouths. You remember your words of questioning why he was leaving and your words of begging him to stay. You remember his apathetic words of briefly explaining to you how he met a superior woman and he was divorcing your “troublesome” mom. You remember asking him about the custody of you and you remember his dry response about how a custody battle was never an issue and that your mom had full ownership of you.

But the strongest thing you remember, the thing that affected the rest of your life and mentality, was how your sixteen year old self ran to your daddy and threw your arms around his torso as burning tears streamed down rapidly from your pink, stinging eyes. You choked on your sobs and hyperventilated around your mewls. Your dad didn’t hug you back. Instead he patted you on your head.

Then he moved his hand to your shoulder and softly pushed you away. You sniffled through your runny, pink nose as your dad placed his knuckle underneath your chin where your tears kept slipping off and lifted your chin so that you could make eye contact with him. It was hard though, your eyes were burning as if someone was cutting onions or squirted lemon juice in them, making you keep squeezing them shut to rid of that pain, and globs of hot tears blurred your vision. But despite not seeing him clearly, you heard him as clear as day.

“Best of luck, you’ll need it.”

Those words always lived in the back of your mind like an unwanted guest that was long overstaying their welcome. You were so bipolar with those last words of his. Sometimes, when you’re reflecting about how much your dad sucked, you loathed those words. What a dick thing to say to the child you were abandoning. But the other times when you felt yourself subconsciously miss him, you defended all his wrongdoings with that last spoken sentence toward you. He could’ve said something nasty to you, could’ve yelled at you, could’ve belittled you or said exactly what you did wrong that made him snap and leave. But he didn’t. He found the last remaining compassion in his heart for you to wish you the best of luck.

You just wished you weren’t crying so hard in that exact little moment so that you could’ve seen what expression he was wearing. It would’ve answered so much and revealed his intentions. Was he giving you a stern, cold look? Did his eyes soften with those last words? If you knew, it would have answered the question that tormented you for years: Did he even care about leaving you forever?

But now you’d never know. And you would never, ever, go to him to ask him.

Your far off mind returned to you when Alan cleared his throat and began saying something that caught your attention. “You know, your mother is an impressive woman, and she would clearly do anything to help you feel better, help you live the life that you want to live, and I think that she can help us now. We are all part of family systems. You, me, everyone. Changes to those systems can have a profound effect on us, even at your age. And I was thinking that it might be beneficial if we were to do some family therapy work with you and your mother.”

Sam started with a subtle shake of his head then the shakes grew more obvious in feeling. “She's been through enough. She doesn't need to be dragged into what we're doing here.” He spoke stiffly and gave him a look that told Alan it was a terrible idea.

“I think that's kind of you, and I can see why you'd want to protect her. But I don't think you need to worry about her feeling dragged into this. I think she might find it helpful, too.” Alan said as Sam kneaded the skin between his thumb and index finger, his leg beginning to bounce in an anxious manner as his eyes threatened to water with that same nervousness as in his leg. “Sam. You don't have to take this next step alone. There is someone who wants to be there with you. She doesn't want you struggling with this by yourself.”

Alan saw he wasn’t convincing his patient with his stare not expressing any kind of agreement or openness to the idea. So he decided to hit his Achilles heel despite really not wanting it to come to that, and knowing that you would get the wrong idea on where his allegiances resided. “And I really believe this could be beneficial for (Y/n) as well. I think she would be more open to therapy if you use yourself as an example for how helpful it truly is.”

Sam’s eyes vaguely lit up, glancing at you for a mere second. Bingo. Alan knew he had him now.

Sam’s mouth moved around as he struggled to find words, his glossy eyes continuously returning to you. Alan could practically see the thoughts through his forehead like closing credits. Sam glanced at your back one last time before looking back to his therapist. “We’ll make this quick.” He said quickly before pushing off his chair and moving to and up the stairs with a jittery twitch to his movements.

One beat then another had passed before your harsh glare peeked over your shoulder. “What are you doing?” You questioned with distrust and attitude evident in your quiet voice. Alan held his hand up to try and signal you not to worry. “Just trust me. I think I can get through to him using his mother.”

You shifted on your butt a little to look at him more clearly, you gaze sharp. “I told you we couldn’t trust her. She’s basically on his side.”

“Exactly.”

Taglist: @alices-halcyon @katlover63 @valareina @kaitcreatesart @girl-next-door-writes @queen-of-elves @pearlstiare

#reader insert #yandere #yandere x reader #dark fic #domhnall gleeson x reader #domhnall gleeson #the patient fx #the patient #the patient Hulu #sam fortner x reader #sam fortner #Sam fortner imagine #yandere sam fortner #yandere sam fortner x Reader

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spatialwave · 6 months

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asking for jordan marie content and specially communication, like early on stuff when maybe they aren't dating yet but they are hanging out more and they start to get closer and marie starts to realize that jordan tends to shift to his male form when things get slightly romantic and she asks them about it, maybe playing like "how do you decide when to shift?" phrasing as a silly curiosity and jordan opens up about their insecurities and marie reassured them and yeah they kiss !

oh, i adore this! i hope this does your ask justice. 🩵 word count: 684

marie had noticed something about jordan in recent days, a peculiar tendency about their shifting form. since their first kiss, the two of them had become quite close, still a bit unsure about what they were. both of them were great at avoiding the big question, in fact, it was fun with it being a bit unclear. though, marie was craving a deeper connection, wanting to see what jordan was like when they were vulnerable. jordan could sense that too, which scared them. they were having fun with marie, without the responsibility of a relationship, but they were smart enough to know that this blissful ignorance wouldn't last forever.

"hey, jordan," marie asked softly with a smile on her lips, the two of them had been sitting in a grassy area of the quad on campus. enjoying a break from class and the sun, it was marie's idea. "can i ask you something?"

they looked over at her, quirking an eyebrow, "as long as you're not asking me for a favour. i'm actually enjoying doing a bit of nothing." they responded with a soft sigh, turning ahead as they closed their eyes and soaked up the rays of the sun. marie admired them for a few moments, taking in their shoulder-length hair and how the curls framed the side of their face.

"i've just been curious about the way you shift," she started, smiling as she tried to keep her question lighthearted, not wanting jordan to think she was prying, "how do you decide to do it? is it an emotional thing? do you have to think really hard for it to work?"

jordan looked over at her, swallowing thickly down their throat when they connected their gaze. they knew this question would come up eventually, but they were unaware of why marie was asking. "it's kinda' hard to explain," they said, shrugging, "it's second nature, i don't really have to think so hard about it. i can do it whenever i want."

marie nodded along as they spoke, trying so damn hard to keep the question inside, but it was like word vomit, "then why do you always shift into your male form when you're with me?" she questioned, eyes widening, "i mean, like, you know. not right now obviously, but if we were alone in your room. that's when you would." she swallowed a lump down her throat

she regretted the question immediately because she saw the pain that formed in jordan's eyes. yet, she felt she deserved an answer.

another sigh came from jordan, their eyes flickering away as they began fidgeting with their hands, "do you want the honest answer or the easy answer?" they asked back but didn't get a response. wetting their lips, they looked over to marie, eyes softening, "i, uh," their voice cracked, "i wasn't sure what you wanted, i just assumed... that's what most girls want from me. no one's ever wanted to be with both." they said, cringing at the word, hating that they often times had to talk about themselves like they were two different people.

jordan couldn't look her in the eyes anymore, their brown orbs falling down to look at the grass underneath them. how embarrassing.

"don't assume anything with me," marie spoke, her voice gentle. a hand reached over and slid over jordan's jaw, then their neck, "it's new to me, but... i like you. all of you." she whispered, staring at jordan like there was no one else in the world.

their gaze met once again, both filled with adoration for each other. jordan was about to scoff, ready to brush it all off, but it didn't take much to see the sincerity in her eyes. jordan's lips parted to speak, but marie didn't let them.

"i mean it," she whispered, leaning forward towards jordan. there was a tense feeling that moved through them, wanting to shift for security - but they didn't. they let marie move in close until their lips pressed into a chaste kiss.

jordan had been waiting for this moment for years. for someone like marie.

#limoreau #gen v #jordan li #marie moreau #im alive but im dead #andy answers

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eustasskidagenda · 6 months

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Hi hi! I was wondering if you could write some fluff for Ace with a male reader that is struggling coming off his ADHD meds and sleeping properly. Or something simpler like Ace being with the reader while the reader works on their personal projects and keeping him on task, reader still has ADHD. More details could be that the reader is apart of the Whitebeard crew. I don’t mind what form you write it in, how long you want to write it is up to you. I did not know how to word this correctly and I am extremely sorry if it is completely unclear or entirely wrong requesting format. English might be my first language but that does not mean I can make sense of English's extensive grammar that is utterly flawed and quite irritating.

Thank so much for taking time out of your life to take people’s requests and write them instead of just ignoring us. Fanfic writers like yourself are what makes the world go round, mostly, have to give at least the tiniest bit of credit to the governments. Also have a great night/day/afternoon/evening!!!

Hi hi dear, of course, I'm always willing to write some fluff, especially with a cutie like Ace. :D And don't worry, it was totally clear and you did the request correctly. Hope the result will match your expectations, thank you so much for requesting. ☆

☆Ace helping his s/o struggling with ADHD

CW : m!reader, reader has ADHD, fluff, using of DF in some fluff way

WC : around 700

Ace definitely knows how to take care of others. He is both a commandant and a big brother, and he takes his position very seriously. He used to keep an eye on Luffy during his childhood. So he’s always watching for you, even from afar, to make sure you're alright. Ace has no problem with your ADHD since he has to deal with Luffy anyway. Even if his brother doesn't have ADHD, some things you may do may sound familiar to him.

He would be unsure at first. He doesn't know a lot about ADHD and is stressed about bothering you with possibly uncomfortable questions. Ace is likely overthinking and afraid of being annoying, because he always thinks he's not worthy of being loved. He would seek Marco's aid in learning the fundamentals by reading books on the subject. He wants to do his best.

He will ask you for the specifics. With a flushed and embarrassed expression. Let him know if it's alright and if he's not bothering you.

Reminding you to take your medication would quickly become a part of his own routine. And, even if he's not around, he would make sure to leave a cute note with some random drawing, like a Stickman and some… hearts, but it doesn't look like hearts. Although he doesn't know how to draw, it's nonetheless cute.

If you struggle to go to bed early because of hyperfocus and overthinking, he would just say something like "I'm going to bed. You come with me?" He doesn't want to constantly remind you about your ADHD because you're more than that. So he wouldn't bring the subject up all the time.

You're treating him like a normal guy and not like "the son of someone" so he would do the same to you.

Depending on whether you struggle with physical touch or not, he would or just lay close to you, trying to soothe your potential overthinking with random jokes and sweet nothings. Or just using his DF to make you count the fire sheep. What a cutie. And if you don't struggle with physical touch, then prepare yourself for a lot of cuddles. He would use his DF to gently run his hot palms over your skin, making sure you're comfortable again.

And if you really struggle to sleep, then he doesn't mind chatting and learning more about your hyper fixations. Ace likes that kind of stuff, and honestly, he's just so happy that you're actually just… talking to him.

Imagine his cute laughter every time you say something funny.

He might fall asleep randomly while you're talking due to his narcoleptic tendencies. But overall, he likes long-night conversations because, as you know, often the night conversations are the most intimate, the ones where two people bond closely.

When you need to focus on your work, again it depends. If you're in a hyperfixation mood, honestly, he would just look at you and randomly smile because he thinks you're adorable when you're that serious. He won't bother you since you're in your own world. But if you're hyper-focused for hours, then he would come from time to time to remind you to stay hydrated or to eat something.

"Y/N, look, I've made some grilled fish" while placing the plate in front of you.

During your night work, Ace would leave a small candle on your desk that he would light himself as a small reminder of him. He's always with you this way. "I want a goodnight kiss" with a cute pout before leaving you alone.

If you're having trouble with your tasks, he'll remind you not to procrastinate too much. Because he knows that it would just stress you more and more as the deadline approaches.

He would help you take some breaks from time to time. "Okay y/n, that's enough work, let's visit this island together"

Once you come back to work, he doesn't interfere much. Just helps you here and there as best as he can. He doesn't want to distract you. "Get outta there, you goddamn pineapple, he's working" when Marco randomly comes to talk to Ace.

And, once you are finally done with all your duties, he would proudly lend you his hat with the warmest smile ever. "I knew you could do it. That's my sweet boy, always so brave."

Ace is so wholesome, help.

#one piece headcanons #one piece x reader #one piece requests #portgas d ace #portgas ace x reader #portgas ace x you #portgas d ace x reader #portgas d ace x you #portgas d ace x y/n #ace x reader #ace x y/n #ace x you

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ashersanity · 3 months

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Dropping by to say omg AUGHH I love your writing! Always gets me hooked and gets me to scroll till the end, especially the Whitney stuff-

Idk if this has been asked/answered before, but Whitney piercing headcanons? What spots they might have chosen? I've always imagined they had a fuck ton of metal rings and studs-

That where the spam liking is coming from? I’ve been getting lots of spam likers lately, not that I mind but it’s nerve inducing whenever someone randomly likes a recent post only to pull up with one from months ago out of nowhere. Just where the fuck are you guys finding these things? Usually sift through someone’s blog by their top posts or recent posts in order, maybe per a specific tag then too. Appreciate it though, thanks.

Whitney piercings.. have been on my mind lately too. I’ve got a tongue piercing scheduled soon so this is wildly timed well.

content warning! accidental self-harm? whitney tries to pierce some things themselves, fucking fails. blood. do not attempt to do these at home, you stupid fucks.

Know one would likely think that’s Whitney’s first piercings would be the regular earrings shit but to me, it was the tongue they did first. Y’know, it’s easily hidden behind the tight line of their lips firmly pressed together, not that the bitch doesn’t openly show off the muscle whenever they get the chance to whenever they speak, but can get away it. Maybe their parents would disapprove though the bully doubts so themselves, don’t got the money to get such a procedure so they settle on a handcraft piercing for their tongue. Where’d they find the gleaming pearl to do that? Who knows really.

Pulls up with some random tutorial on their phone, cheap and blurry camera with the instructions unclear but by god, Whitney does some dumbass decisions at times and this is one of them. Would be lying if they didn’t hesitate for a bit, shit, they’re going to get that damn piercing whether their dad or mom, both likes it or not. Sharp needle fisted in their hand, tongue peeking out and does it go well? Fuck no. Yells out a curse as stray droplets of blood drip across the tiled floor of their narrow bathroom space, leaving fresh, bloodied marks in their wake. Wasn’t all that serious of an injury, least not to the delinquent where it caused serious, permanent damage. Begrudgingly gets it done by a professional the next time, slight flush on their face from the sheer embarrassment of having failed pathetically so.

Next were earrings, the typical way that it’s done with an ice cube and of course, a needle again. Got an infection for a week, the blonde heals fast. Doesn’t affect them all that much other than the annoying routine of having to apply the same disinfectant over the surface of their swollen skin for a week straight. I’m talking a couple of rings wrapped over their ear shells and lobe, typically sharp since it suits them. Probably has snake bites too, seen too many arts to not say so otherwise and they like the look of it.

Genitals.. Yeah, the genitals for sure. Whitney wants to enhance their sex experience and fuck, do they love to hear a bitch squealing from the friction of the glinting metal fresh against their skin, lightly kicking back.

Whitney with a dick? Jacob ladder piercing, the bars set upon the length of their dick, ranging from their base to the flushed tip oozing pre-cum. Likes to specially tease you with it, making you count the number of bars as they slowly sink into your stretched out hole, struggling to form coherent words from being stuffed so full by a fat cock. You fail? They’re doing it all over again till you get it right.

Whitney with a pussy? Labia piercing. (Seen them before but I had to search that shit up for the name.) Rings snugly tucked around their clit, sensation all the more heavy as they comfortably grind themselves down on your lap at the pub, shameless in their erotic display. If you’re eating them out whenever or wherever, a light flick of your tongue across their drooling clit is enough to have them dizzyingly stupid and moaning, head thrown back.

Nipples, the fucking nipples. Visible against the shirt they wear beneath their scruff, leathered jacket, proudly standing erect. I’d say this is actually one of the main bodily weaknesses of the bully. Sure, their genitals is definitely an erogenous zone, but play with the pink buds a bit and you have yourself a whimpering Whitney struggling not to cum from your playful touches alone.

Know this isn’t about piercings but thanks to @princesstokyomoon, I’m convinced this motherfucker has a womb tatt regardless of gender and you get a slight glimpse of it whenever they’re out and about with only their old, grey sweats on. Hipbones right above the elastic waistband, trailing below the inked art. Fucking.. Fucking stupid bitch whining at the press of your palm flat against that exact area.

#I made this longer than I should #happens whenever we’re talking about whitney headcanons #I’ve got specific shit for the bully in my mind #they were one of those kids with bunch of bandages slapped on from the amount of bruises they’d get #no. they didn’t grow out of it — just doesn’t bandage themselves anymore #dol #degrees of lewdity #whitney the bully #whitney dol #dol whitney #curious anon #asher gets asks #asher writes

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thegeminisage · 6 months

Text

THE VOYAGE HOME breakdown

i liveblogged this on the notes app on my phone bc i could not be bothered w tumblr while i watched it. 10/10 movie i love spock's little bandana

first scene was really rough bc they made us watch the enterpise blow up again. i did NOT like reliving that. she's a beautiful woman and i loved her

kirk being in trouble was so funny. like hes been in trouble in tos before but not THAT kind of trouble

did gasp aloud when they said vulcan exile. kirk spock and bones were on VULCAN EXILE for THREE MONTHS and you're telling me they didn't fuck. impossible. i have so much fanfiction to read

gasped when i saw spock far away on that cliff too. i went from watching the movie to doing whatever it is i do when i see spock on my screen. i was so instantly invested like 100x more than i had been previously. cathy made fun of me for calling it the spock movie but lo: there was spock

thrilled to see his mom again even though she fucking sucks. i thought she had died or something since she wasn't in search for spock lol he doesn't need that!!

me when they mentioned yorktown: omg another aos reference

i knew this movie was about whales but not in what capacity. so when the probe showed up we went back and forth for a really long time on whether this was The Whale. we were very impressed with its little laser

uhura remains the most beautiful woman to ever live. she gets hotter in every film idk how she does that

i liked when kirk gave bones a direct order to like "stay here" or whatever and he said with his mouth "no way" and followed him out anyway. fucking hilarious there's no use trying to hide behind rank anymore captain. their relationships have evolved so wonderfully <3

the time travel cgi was wack. idk what they were doing but it made me uncomfortable

"we can get back but only with NUCLEAR POWER" it's just like back to the future fr

spock's bandana.

i knew he wore it in this film because i have seen fanart and a couple of gifs but it was even better to see it in person as it were

spock was great in this film. unclear how much of his personal memories he had back, i would like to assume most of them? but back at factory settings nonetheless. i liked getting to watch jim and bones teach him to be "human" all over again, even down to jim asking to be CALLED jim, instead of by his title. i have a feeling we're gonna get a lot of that with data in tng and knowing i will love data is all that makes it possible for me to part from spock. spock failing at swearing, being bad at lying, being bad at loving italian - bones said he wasn't firing on all thrusters and he was right, but he's still competent enough to get them back to their own year. i also really liked him knocking out the dude with the radio lol. AND THEN EVERYONE CLAPPED which would have been ridiculous for anyone but spock.

whaling videos sad. i do love that this movie was pro-whale propaganda...i feel like we got a lot of that in the late 80s/early 90s, so maybe whales really WERE gonna go extinct and we saved them thru the power of cheesy movies. one likes to dream

kirk is losing his touch as a honeypot. he so throughly failed to seduce this biologist it's embarrassing. she only cares about whales, dude.

scotty hunting and pecking on the keyboard at the speed of light is me fr. i never learned to touch type and now i have a role model. i mean you can't expect HIM to touch type he's missing a fucking finger

giving the molecule to those guys early is ALSO an aos reference. this is where spock got the idea in the 2009 movie i bet :(

chekov being russian when he got caught is both more hilarious and more distressing, like. considering.

"he is a man of deep feelings" on vulcan this counts as a slur

extremely skeptical of them taking the whale biologist until she pointed out that if whales were extinct there would be no whale biologists in the future and so they needed her. fair point, movie

i feel like movies just never have real water anymore. is that just me? 90s movies had water all the time and these days you never see any real water. shit's expensive. they just cgi it.

THEIR SWIM PARTY CELEBRATIONNNN it was so good. jim dunking people in the water but also william shatner would have drowned in leonard nimoy wasn't holding him up lol that shit looked choppy as hell

i recognized their outfits at the trial all together like that from the photo in aos...made me sad

GIVING JIM THE CAPTAINCY BACK...god FINALLY. the sheer hell he goes through as a retired man...let him work...

i wasn't gonna cry during this movie but when spock said i feel fine i did in fact: cry. HE FEELS FINE.

AND FINALLY. ENTERPRISE BEING BACK. perfect touch to a perfect movie

tonight we start tng (we're going in release order) and i am sooo nervous to leave them but at least we have two more tos movies left so it'll be a gradual transition...ik im gonna like tng but i don't think i'll ever love any star trek character more than i love spock. hes everything to me!!!

#personal #star trek blogging #tvh lb #HIS LITTLE BANDANA #so far my fav movie is still search for spock #wrath of khan and voyage home tie in a very close second tho. i go back and forth on which one wins second place

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skye-huntress · 2 years

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RWBY Ice Queendom Reaction

Episode 9: “My Dream, Your Dream”

Well what do you know, Weiss actually was able to communicate directly with Ruby.

This is the kind of White Rose moment I’ve been waiting so long for where Weiss makes it clear how she really feels about Ruby. Sure, she has her criticisms and concerns, but despite that she trusts Ruby completely. And Weiss relates to her loneliness, something I never thought about before.

Once again I have to reassess how much Weiss has been resisting the Grimm and secretly helping her friends. In retrospect, I realise it is quite odd that Weiss altered Crescent Rose so much when everyone else’s weapons are more or less the same. Thinking about it though, turning into a snowboard did make it easier for Ruby to move around at the start of the dream. Why would she do that if Ruby is supposed to be locked up all the time? Same thing with Yang’s bike. Same with where she placed those weird signs and the Relics, and her friends. So she had her reasons for altering Crescent Rose the way she did, even if it’s not yet clear how it’s supposed to help. Also there was some cryptic nonsense about the “shadow of the person you’re fighting” if I got that right but I was too busy watching to give it any real thought.

The little Weisses continue to be the most adorable thing on screen.

Once again I think I’ve underestimated Jaune. Not just with the sword thing, but also lifting someone even Ruby’s size that high, for the weakest person in his year, is quite the feat. It also seems like his semblance may have helped a bit even if he hasn’t fully unlocked it or is even aware he is using it.

So that was Ruby’s last coin. Did it actually do anything or did Zaiden use her last one up trying to wake her up themselves? At least their aura doesn’t seem to be in the red yet, but we’ve still got a few episodes to go. I should probably go back and do a count of how many coins they have used up because it’s easy to lose track of who uses their’s when they were all together.

Also, Ozpin definitely made a subtle reference to Ruby’s silver eye abilities. It’s unclear but still possible that we might see them in action but I doubt it will be for much if at all. Other than the fact that its not something the show will be able to get too deep into for new audiences, I feel like even in the main show it is being hinted that the silver eyes are not something you can rely on for a victory. Even Maria, a former silver eye warrior, flat out tells Ruby that her training and semblance are still her greatest assets.

Can we talk about how Negative Weiss first asks about Ruby? She might be obsessed with Blake but Ruby is clearly never far from her thoughts.

So did Negative Weiss absorb the little Weisses and normal Weiss into herself before making them all go to sleep? I suppose it could symbolise Weiss’ negativity winning over her other thoughts and desires and dragging her closer towards that eternal sleep.

Also I can’t remember exactly when in this episode it happens but seeing the little Weisses frozen in fear just hurts me further.

So what are Blake and Yang up to?

Bashful Klein’s line about being embarrassed about the inside just further reinforces my earlier suspicions that much of what he keeps locked up are things Weiss is deeply conflicted or even ashamed about. I think what the Bees said about everything being a disorganised mess like Weiss didn’t really know what to do with these thoughts fits.

And as expected, Blake’s room is actually quite nice, huge contrast to the rest of the mess. There’s the Relic Weiss gave to Blake. And removing awakens the White Fang because of course it does, but they’re docile and not attacking the Bees.

It’s an important reminder here of how similar Weiss and Blake are. Jacques Schnee and the SDC gave Blake plenty of reason to hate the company and Schnee’s, while in turn Sienna Khan’s White Fang gave Weiss plenty of reasons to hate the White Fang and distrust Faunus. I wouldn’t dare say either are wrong to feel that hatred, but both let the hatred control them and cloud their judgment for a time. That said, deep down both knew there were issues with their own side. It’s why Blake left the White Fang. It’s why Weiss has tried so hard to free herself of her father’s influence, but doing so in a way that she can still one day inherit the company and make the changes she knows are needed. It’s possible Weiss’ desire to reform the SDC was the inspiration behind Blake wanting to take back the White Fang instead of just destroying it.

So Yang immediately wants to charge off again and Blake being the voice of reason points out they already tried that, twice. Any time they get close to the Grimm Negative Weiss stops them and drives them back out before they can even really fight the Grimm itself.

A similar conversation is going on with Ruby and Jaune with the former being more desperate than ever to get to Weiss knowing how close she is to sleep. Then Ruby takes the knowledge Weiss gave her and the immunity Jaune gave the train and puts them together. The train likely only stopped where it did so Ruby and the others could get the Relic, but if the tracks only just appeared when they got to the city, why not take it further? Especially now Ruby knows that in Weiss mind she can go wherever she wants.

Ruby still wants to bring the little Weisses along and we know the reason why. They’re too adorable!

The clock rewinds and Negative Weiss is awake, which is really good but at the same time, it’s Negative Weiss.

Oh yeah, a train full of dust so they have all the ammo they could want. Hah, Negative Weiss isn’t the only one who can cheat! Also, Pyrrha is also actually fighting as well.

That damn Arma Gigas knockoff is really a pain. Of course it’s nearly unstoppable, it’s the toughest enemy Weiss ever faced at this point. Seriously, can someone destroy that thing already.

So, back in Episode 5, I made a prediction that Blake would command the White Fang to make a distraction that would be enough to occupy Negative Weiss. It seems Blake has taken it a step further and embraced the role of the villain. This wouldn’t just be playing to Weiss’ hatred but also a fear she no doubt had the moment she learned Blake’s secret, that the girl she wants to think of as her friend is really her enemy. That might mean that in her mind, a Blake that is still a part of the White Fang is more dangerous than the Blake who is her friend. Blake might possibly be a match for Negative Weiss. The flip side is just like what happened with the children, things could get out of control, especially with the last Relic removed from its place. Blake might even risk losing herself in the role she is playing and become infected as well. Well, fortunately Yang is there, too.

Speaking of whom, did Yang go back for her motorcycle?

#RWBY #RWBY IQ #RWBY IQ spoilers

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she-toadmask · 2 years

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Ok today my brain has just been on and my friend is enabling me so I am going to tall about my feelings about crossover fanfics.

Below the cut because I have no idea how excessive I will be.

SO.

There are generally two ways for crossover fics to be, blended universe and what I'm going to call 'faller' crossovers.

Blended universe is like these two have existed in the same universe forever, they're just only interacting now. The only examples coming to mind right now are this Disney/Transformers crossover that was overall really good but also there was Megatron x Maleficent as a ship and it actually worked pretty well and this series I read before I really got into Transformers that was a crossover with Sonic and all I remember about that one was Shockwave was a femme (who Eggman found attractive), gender mattered/sex was a thing in Cybertronians, and I didn't like how Optimus was being written. Actually no this one MHA/Transformers crossover counts and it's great I love it so much the closest I can get to a complaint is it's using some elements from TFP and doesn't have Knock Out and Breakdown because the author might want to do combiner stuff with Breakdown which is fine but it means we didn't get Knock Out flirting with Optimus Prime which is a crime if you ask me.

Anyway, something that fic does really well that is one of the things I really like about a lot of crossovers is that it explains both sides of the crossover really well. Like it starts off with MHA, but from what I have learned from consuming multiple MHA crossover fics, it starts from the beginning of MHA, so if you're coming from Transformers, you still know what's going on, and then it also explains everything going on with the Transformers side of things. A lot of good crossovers that aren't already being really niche do this really well, explaining both sides of the crossover so both fandoms can enjoy it equally. This has also led to me reading crossover fanfiction between two series I have no intention of ever seriously consuming canon over, like Danny Phantom and Batman crossovers.

Ok now I am going to talk about faller crossovers. This is when a character (or multiple characters) from one franchise or continuity, either from dying or some kind of incident involving a teleportation device or magic of some kind, suddenly wakes up or falls into another franchise or continuity. Some time travel fics also work this way. (The fact that faller is also the term in Pokemon for a human who came through through Ultra Wormhole was not intentional but fits extremely well.) I really really like these. Like. So much. One of my favorite crossovers that I am always hungry for content for I only am after based on faller plots. It's also really cool how it can be unclear about how obvious it is. Maybe it's obvious that the person is from another dimension/reality. Maybe someone witnessed the person appear or fall from the sky, or it's blatantly obvious that they don't belong. (I am only restraining myself from going off on Transformers Prime/Transformers Animated crossovers of this variety, especially the one being created by @ justawannabearchaeologist because I know like one person will know what I am talking about and they already follow her and are very aware of my preferences.) Or maybe they woke up somewhere and can blend in. They may not have all of the appropriate knowledge, but they can try and work things out and live on their own. I am reading what is probably an embarrassing number of 'MCU Peter wakes up in Gotham' fics but they are a really good example of what I'm talking about. Also 'Friendly Foreign Dimensional Exchange Student Spiderman!' on AO3 is a MCU Peter into MHA fic that also fits really well with my point and it takes forever to update but it's good imo.

MHA fics actually seem to do crossover explanations really well? Maybe it's because the setting lends itself to explaining itself, especially to new characters, and there is the extremely high likelihood for a MHA fan to go into the fic without being familiar with the other fandom (I think I still have an active Danny Phantom/MHA crossover fic open) so the character gets an explanation too.

Idk crossovers are cool and I don't think I have ever written The Talk about why I think they're so cool.

#fandom discussion #if you have good crossover fic recs of the faller variety please send them my way

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kleiner-detektiv · 20 days

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So. Today's rehearsal.

This one woman I already talked about a while ago got angry with me.

For you to remember: she is a "I don't hate trans people but"-, "I'm not racist but"-person and a covid denier.

So she once again asked everybody on stage what she has to do and finally came to a friend of mine and me. And she asked:

"Do you know what I'm supposed to sing at this part?"

My friend already was annoyed (he hates her so much), so I answered:

"As far as I remember you don't sing this song at all."

She got angry. "No! I'm singing it! I just don't know what I have to sing there!" (special mention: our premiere is this Saturday and even if we still change a lot, we all know what to sing for 2 weeks).

Me, also annoyed at this point: "Well, as in the last mail our Regisseur sent us, you, [another friend] and I aren't supposed to sing it. But I might -" not remember it right, I tried to calm her down. But she already interrupted me.

I don't even remember what exactly she shouted at me there. It was just embarrassing how childish she got. Afterwards I just told her:

"I just said you should just check the last e-mail. All in all you should be the one knowing best what you have to do at what point and if you have questions, please, ask [Regisseur] or [Assistant of Regisseur] if something is unclear to you."

She then continued to annoy my friend whose words also weren't what she wanted to hear - except she took his words as a joke and just asked me: "do you now know what I meant?!" as she jokefully pretended to kick my friend who clearly felt uneasy about it.

Goddammit. She isn't part of this song, therefore never practiced it with our singers and now sings whatever comes into her mind and asks everybody on stage to send her a mix tape with what she is supposed to sing.

My friend told me someone important watched the conversation and might tell the Regisseur to help us. I really hope they does. This woman is going on everybodies nerves and backbiting everyone on stage even if she is wrong.

Everybody comes to me to complain about her. She wants to be part of so many projects and just doesn’t get anything right, always causing others trouble. I can't count the times we had to interrupt our rehearsal because of her.

At the very latest, when the main cast (!), who doesn't even have things to do with her, comes to me to hear what's wrong with her, it should be time to put her on a leash. Please! I'm just a small background character. Let me have some peace Dx

#She doesn't like me anymore since she complained 'I'm not allowed to do anything on stage anymore!' and my answer was just a #'we are background characters. We serve in the background to expand the background. Everything else we are allowed to do is special.'#She got so angry. 'NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! I was allowed to DANCE AND SING in rocky horror 10 years ago!'#Gosh. And I can tell the cast and crew weren't happy about her thinking that.#Les me has spoken

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sundaysundaes · 3 years

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Drunk Antics

Mark Lee X Reader, ft. Johnny | Smut, Fluff | 5.8k | College AU

Summary: After being caught having sex with your previously virgin boyfriend, you thought Mark and your brother Johnny would never get along. That is until your boy comes back to your room in the drunkest state he’s ever been after a short trip to the bar with his Johnny-hyung, asking you to try new tricks he’s learned from the Master of Sex.

Sort of a continuation from Our First Time but can be read separately.

Warnings: Smut, oral sex, drunk unprotected sex. For the sake of the very little plot there is, Mark is intoxicated in this fic so his consent may be unclear. Please don’t read this fic if this makes you feel uncomfortable. I also don’t approve nor allow taking advantage of your romantic partner while they are under the influence of alcohol.

“You forgot that you borrowed his AirPods?!” Your boyfriend is shrieking in whispers, doe eyes shaking in fear and horror as he kneels on your bed, trying to shamelessly hog every inch of your blanket to cover his body.

Mark is so drowning in panic that he doesn’t even notice that you, in fact, are still naked. “I was going to use them before to work on my assignment,” you try to reason, “but then you came so I kind of forgot about them.”

“Kind of?!” He screeches. “I agreed to have sex with you because I thought you were sure that he had his AirPods on!”

You stare at him flatly. “You’re making me feel like I just took advantage of you.”

“I am feeling like you just took advantage of me!”

“You just lost your virginity, I think you have to thank me instead.”

“Babe,” Mark grabs both of your shoulders, staring with wide eyes as if there’s a ghost lurking behind your back but he’s trying his best to calm you down (though he’s pretty much shitting his own pants). “You should’ve remembered that you took his AirPods. He heard us.”

“Mark,” you imitate his tone mockingly, taking a hold of his shoulders in the same manner. “It would’ve been super weird if I thought about my brother when I have my hot boyfriend rubbing his dick against my ass.”

Distracted, a sheepish smile forms on his face. “You think I’m hot?” But he shakes himself awake on the next second, going back to yanking out his hair with both hands. “No, wait—what am I going to do—your brother heard us having sex—I can’t—”

“I heard my brother having sex all the time.” You shrug nonchalantly. “Sometimes even when he’s alone in his room, which is gross.”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT—”

“Guys?” Johnny’s knocks on the door are becoming more impatient. “I swear to God, if you two go back to sucking each other off, I’m going to throw Mark under the bus and run him over myself.“

Mark’s eyes nearly pop out of his head. “Did you hear that?!”

You roll your eyes in response, reaching out to the table beside your bed and snatch Johnny’s AirPods from inside the drawer. “Here,” you hand it over to Mark.

Your boyfriend reacts as if you just handed him a bowl of hot lava and he fumbles with his hands, shoving the AirPods back to you with so much horror in his eyes. “Why are you giving me this—no—no—”

“Mark, honey.” You gently smile, pushing the thing back in the most motherly way you can manage. “I’m covered in cum—your cum, in case you forgot—and you’re hogging all the blanket—“

“No—”

“Also, I’m sweaty and gross. Can you please be a man for once and let me take my shower? You can still join me afterward.”

“Babe!” You can tell he’s about to throw up out of fear but he’s just so cute, you can’t help but keep teasing him about it. “This is not fair—he’s going to kill me! And what do you mean ‘for once’, am I—“

“Okay, guys, any day now.” Your brother, Johnny, calls again from the other side of the door. “If one of you don’t come out and hand me back my AirPods in the next ten seconds, I am literally going to call the police.”

Mark nearly jumps out of his own skin. “What?!”

“Oh, shut up, Johnny,” you shout back, mouthing calming words to your boyfriend who looks like he’s seconds away from fainting. “You’re not going to do that and we both know it!”

“But I am going to call our Mom.”

“That he might do,” you say, wincing a little at Mark. “Okay, I’m going to take a shower.” You lean forward to give him a peck on his cheek. “Good luck, babe.” And you sprint off to the bathroom inside your room, all while holding out your best not to cackle loudly.

“Where are you going—Baby, get back here!” You can hear Mark protesting in whispers, but you just send him flying kisses and a wink, and shut the bathroom door behind you.

Mark’s soul is leaving his body, he can feel it. And that’s okay, because Johnny is going to kill him anyway. But when the older man really starts to count to ten, Mark jumps out of the bed, tripping approximately three times as he tries his best to dress himself back in his own clothes while muttering the words “shit” and “fuck” repetitively under his breath.

When he’s sure he looks less fucked than before, Mark opens the door, breathing hard as if he just did the worst workout in his life.

“H-hey,” Mark starts, attempting to throw his best look-at-me-I’m-a-good-boy-who-did-not-just-fuck-your-sister-when-you-were-around smile at the other man. “How’s it going, man?” His voice breaks in the middle of his line and he winces as he tries to calculate the least painful death options he can commit.

Johnny unenthusiastically gazes back at him. “What are you doing?”

“I’m… smiling at you?”

“Don’t. You look like a serial killer.”

“S-sorry, I’m—“ Mark’s eyes start searching everywhere but Johnny’s eyes as he feels his own feet turning into jelly. “I guess I’m nervous.”

“Nervous? Why?” Johnny places his hands inside the pocket of his jeans, looking way too intimidating for your boyfriend to handle. “Because you just had sex with my sister while I’m in the house?”

Mark’s jaw is almost dislocating from his face from how wide he opens his mouth. “I—I, umm—“ He clears his throat, wiping a bead of sweat off his forehead. “S-so, you really heard us, huh?” He tries to laugh it off, which he soon regrets from the way Johnny’s eyes are throwing daggers at him.

“Yeah, well,” Johnny shrugs, “My ears don’t have on-and-off buttons that I can switch whenever I want. I used to have my AirPods to do that job, but she borrowed them to help her concentrate while doing her assignment.” He gives out a sly grin, almost mockingly. “Little did I know that her assignment was you.”

If he didn’t feel like dying before, Mark is sure as hell feeling it now. “I’m so sorry—I swear, she told me you had them—I also thought you were downstairs—“

“Yeah, I do go upstairs from time to time, you know, ‘cause my room is over there,” he dully replies, nudging his head to the end of the corridor, where his room is located next to yours.

Mark’s entire body shudders in horror. “Dude, I didn’t know—I thought that was a storage room—oh God—”

“Don’t call me dude. I’m not your dude.”

“Fuck—sorry, you’re right—I’m—“ He’s hyperventilating by this point. “Is there any place in this house where I can kill myself?”

“You can try jumping off my balcony,” Johnny answers in the most casual way that Mark begins to question whether he’s really being serious about it.

“G-great, I’ll put that in my options,” is all Mark has to say. “Thanks.”

“Sure thing, bud.” Johnny yawns, offering one hand to the other man which Mark stupidly enough stares in confusion before he takes a hold of it and gives it a sweaty handshake. Johnny switches his gaze from Mark’s face to their hands before he brings back to stare at him straight in the eyes and says, “My AirPods, you idiot.”

“FUCK—“ Mark is so embarrassed that he stumbles on his feet, knocks the side of his head against the door frame, and does a silent scream when the pain jolts to his entire body.

“Man, I wish I had my phone ready to record all of that,” Johnny comments.

Mark is too much in pain to recognize his mumbling. He fumbles with the AirPods in his hand, shoving them to Johnny’s chest. “Shit, I don’t know why I thought you wanted a handshake—here—oh my God—I’m so sorry—“

Even Johnny seems a little bit amused at his antics by this point. “Thanks,” he says, tucking the AirPods inside the pocket of his jeans. “You have some time to spare?”

Mark gulps. “Are you going to kill me?”

“Not until the end of the day.” Johnny says, and Mark laughs a little bit too loud and a little bit too hard and by the way Johnny smiles, he still can’t tell whether he’s joking or not. “Come on, let’s go have a drink.”

“Umm I-I don’t think I should—“

“Not a request, Mark.”

“Yes sir, on my way!” And he knocks himself once again against the door frame as he rushes forward to follow his steps.

“Also, Mark?”

“Yes?”

“Your shirt’s inside out.”

***

“Mark?” Your voice is answered by the silence of your room. You’re feeling a little bit dizzy from the hot shower you just took. You took a bit long in the bathroom, waiting for Mark to come and join you with a cute pout on his lips and tears in his eyes (that’s how you imagined him to be anyway) but your boyfriend, it turns out, was not even in your room. You put on your clothes—a knitted navy blue sweater with sleeves a little bit too long for your arms and a simple pair of jeans—and head downstairs, searching your house but nobody comes to answer. Sighing, you go back to your room and try to call his cellphone but immediately feel disappointed when his ringtone comes from under the bed.

“Great, he forgot his cellphone,” you mutter to yourself, picking his phone up and throws it on the bed. “Did he really run home without telling me?” The image of Mark panicking and running away from your house like his life depends on it sure does look like it’s something he does out of shame. But judging by how great your previous sex activity was, you figure that he’s probably going to go back to you sooner or later. He also has his phone to retrieve anyway.

So it’s time for you to actually get some work done. There’s no other reason for you to run away from your goddamn thesis and the day is getting late. After having some ramyun for dinner, you finally begin working on your assignment.

It’s hard to start, but a few minutes after you get your head to it, you start losing track of time. You’re finally done with your work (most of it anyway), already closing your laptop and place it back on your backpack, when your door abruptly swings open, showing your boyfriend’s face with the biggest grin on his face.

“Baby, I’m home,” he says in a sing-song voice, a bit slurry and a little high pitched. Before you can say anything—too busy trying to figure out how high he is judging from the dopey look on his face—Mark is giggling and walks closer to you. “You know,” he says, placing a hand on your desk and leaning close enough for you to know that he reeks of alcohol. “I just had the greatest day of my life today. And it’s all because. of. you.” He pokes your nose repetitively between every word.

“Mark—“

“Are you hungry? I’m hungry. Do you want some pancakes, because man, I’d love some pancakes—“

“What, are you drunk?” The answer is obvious but you ask anyway.

“No, I’m Mark.” He grins, chuckling at his lousy joke.

“You are so drunk.”

“And you,” he snickers, pinching one of your cheeks, “are so cute~”

You swat his hand away. “Where have you been?”

“I went to a bar with your brother,” he giggles again, playfully massaging your shoulders. “He’s so coooool~”

“What?!”

“Yeah, he’s, like, so tall and, like, so fit.” You can’t believe you’re hearing your boyfriend fangirling over your brother. “And he knows a lot of stuff—like, a lot a lot.”

You certainly have to kick Johnny in the shins after this. “How—why—I thought you were—“

“Babe, you’re rambling.”

You can’t believe you’re turning into him, so you clear your throat and try again. “How drunk are you exactly?”

“Drunk enough to know that this,” he stops to pick up the fishbowl you placed on the bedside table—where Marky the Goldfish is sleeping with its eyes open—and lifts it up to his face, “water cannot be drunk but drunk enough to contemplate about doing it.”

You make a face. “Leave Marky alone.”

“Why did you name it after me?”

“Because it’s dumb. Like you.”

“Huh, can’t really argue with that.” He snorts, placing the fishbowl back to the table and tripping on his feet as he does so—spilling some water from the side but thank God, your fish is safe and alive, though probably also a little bit drunk because of that sudden… turbulence.

“Oops,” he giggles, “Sorry, Marky.” He doesn’t look regretful in the slightest. You stare at him in silence, unconsciously judging him with all you have and usually, he would start becoming nervous and fumbling with his words but now, he just looks at you like you’re the best thing that ever happened to him and rushes forward.

“Man, I love you.” He tackles you into a hug, almost sending you toppling down your chair, “I love you so much. Have I said that today?”

This is certainly not the way you imagined your first confession to be like, especially coming from Mark who’s usually shy and too childish to admit his feelings. “No, you haven’t,” you retort. “Ever.”

“What, really?” His eyes are perfectly round and wide, actually surprised about it. “Shit, I’m sorry. Come here.” He pulls you up to your feet, cradling you into his arms, hands flailing all over your body before they finally rest on your waist. “I can’t believe we had sex and I didn’t even tell you that. I’m so sorry.” He leans back, putting some space between you so he can stare directly into your eyes. “I love you. I’ve always been for a while. I’m so in love with you that I can barely concentrate whenever you’re around.”

You wish he wasn’t drunk out of his mind because those words, those lines, could have been so romantic but even though he looks romantic, you’re not sure whether he’s being one hundred percent conscious about it.

“Okay, let’s talk about this again when you’re sober.” You tap his cheek with one hand and pinch it when he whines. “Have you even taken a shower yet?”

“Yeah, this morning.” He smiles dreamily at you, kissing the inside of your palm. You can’t believe how bold and greasy he becomes when he’s drunk. “And yesterday. And the day before that. And—”

“Okaaaay.” You shut him up by placing your hand above his mouth, which he licks like a little puppy, earning a surprised yelp from you. “Mark!”

“Babe!” He imitates before throwing himself to the bed, laughing at your face. “Come here, join me in my bed.”

“That’s my bed.”

“Isn’t that what I said?”

You exhale loudly, rolling your eyes. “I don’t think you can go home at this state. Your mom would kill me.”

“But I’m already home,” he says, crawling toward you until he kneels at the edge of the bed, face to face with you. “Home is wherever the heart is, right? And my heart is with you.”

You curse yourself inwardly for having your heart flutter at his embarrassing line and you hate yourself even more when he notices you’re blushing.

“Whatever. Just take a shower and get some sleep.” You walk back to your desk, flipping around the pages of your textbook. “I still have two chapters to read.”

You can hear your boyfriend huffing behind you, but try your best to ignore him. It’s an impossible feat, it turns out, when Mark sneaks up behind you, circling his arms around your shoulders and peppers few kisses down the side of your neck.

“Mark—“

“You smell so good.” He inhales deeply, burying his nose in the strands of your hair. Standing up, you turn around to face him so you can protest and push him away but the look on his face makes you freeze.

“You’re so cute,” he says, running his hand up from the curve of your neck to cup your cheek. “And You’re so pretty. And hot. You’re so…” He begins staring at your lips, eyes unfocused. “Hot.”

You can tell it’s coming but when he kisses you, almost hungrily, it feels like he’s snatching your breath away. “Mark, wait—”

“Not waiting,” he murmurs against your lips, pulling your hand over his shoulder so you’re forced to lean your entire weight against his chest. Mark’s calloused hands travel down your body, wrapping both against the back of your thighs and lifts them up so you can wrap your legs around his waist. You follow his lead though still not entirely convinced that you should continue this.

Mark kicks your sliding chair away with one leg and places you down on your desk. He roughly pushes all your papers and textbooks to the end of the table, making enough space where you can sit facing him, with your legs tangling around his waist.

You have spent a decent amount of time kissing Mark over the months you’ve been dating, but only now that you have the chance to kiss him when he’s drunk and you’re aware just how much you’ve been missing.

The drunk version of Mark Lee unexpectedly kisses much more slowly compared to the sober version of Mark Lee, and if you thought fast, passionate kisses were hot, then these slow, deep kisses are sending actual shivers down your spine.

Mark has his right hand cupping your cheek, rubbing comforting circles on your skin with his thumb, while his other one is around your waist, slipping his fingers underneath the hem of your sweater. He angles your head to the side, and his parting lips fit like a perfect puzzle piece with yours. There’s a shy trace of his tongue along your bottom lip, as he nibbles at it slowly and he lets out this small moan as he does it as if it’s something he’s been wanting to do for years and just finally able to do it now.

He tastes like alcohol and you’re not particularly fond of it but the more he kisses you, the more you think it doesn’t matter because he still somewhat tastes like how Mark usually does and you always love the way he tastes on your tongue.

He drags your chin down with his thumb, tasting you a little bit deeper and as he presses his hips against yours, his breathing becomes ragged and you just realize that you probably have a kink for all of this stuff because holy mother of God, this is just so hot.

“Mark,” you sigh as he moves away to kiss your ear, warm lips pressing against your earlobe. He hums in a low, breathy voice that you’ve never heard him do and it makes your stomach flip. “Mark, you’re drunk.” It’s more like a reminder to yourself because you know that as the sober one, you have to put a stop to this but what can you do when he has his tongue tracing against your skin and his soft moans vibrating through your ears?

“Baby,” he whispers, pulling away a little so you can see his eyes and fuck, it’s the biggest mistake you’ve made today—bigger than forgetting that you borrowed Johnny’s AirPods. His eyes are half-lidded, utterly filled with lust and the way he licks his bottom lip as he stares at you has you breathless. He leans closer, as if he’s about to kiss you again, and whispers, “Don’t you want me?”

You remember that you said the same thing earlier to him that day and it makes you think how karma is a fucking bitch. You secretly wonder whether you have the same effect on him because Mark is being so irresistible right now and he successfully makes you throw all of your reasoning to the back of your head.

“Fuck this,” you claim under your breath, pulling him down to you by the neck and crush your mouth together. You can feel your boyfriend smiling into the kiss, and the sounds of your wet kisses make your heartbeat go crazy.

“Take off your shirt,” you command, already grabbing the end of his shirt and struggling as you try to pull it over his head. Mark helps, chuckling a little bit and when it’s off, he has his lips against your neck again. His teeth are prickling against your skin, sucking it until it’s bruised and you have to remind yourself to be angry about it later—because you have classes tomorrow and what if anyone sees that nasty hickey on your neck?—but right now, you just want him to mark you over and over again.

Mark starts to unbutton your jeans, pulling the zipper down and you use your free hand and legs to shake your pants off. It’s not easy, and you almost kick your boyfriend in the face while doing so, but he laughs it off and kisses you again. You can tell how hard he is when he presses himself against you, and you’re eager to put him out of his misery but he suddenly pulls away, saying, “Wait, let me do this first,” and he kneels on the floor, his face right between your legs.

You can feel your breath hitched when he runs his fingers on the inside part of your thighs, his lips follow soon after. He slips his fingers around the edge of your panties and pulls them down. You suddenly feel so exposed to the way he’s looking at you so you pull the end of your sweater down, trying to cover your thighs as much as you can.

“Why are you so shy?” Mark says, taking your hand away and pressing his lips against your palm. His eyes never leave yours and they twinkle in the most teasing way. “You weren’t shy about this before.”

“Stop looking at it too much,” you reply nervously, can’t help but to blush about it. “I feel weird.”

Mark chuckles, airily and soft. “Sorry, I just didn’t have the chance to really see you before,” he explains, one hand unconsciously rubbing your thigh, trying to calm you down. “Can I eat you out?”

Sober Mark will definitely not say anything like this—hell, sober Mark will probably faint just thinking about saying stuff like this—which is why you’re becoming even more nervous and excited at the same time.

“Baby?” Mark calls, smiling softly. “I kind of asked you a question.”

Fuck me. “Yes,” you breathe out, and you realize he was just messing with you before but who the fuck cares right now.

“Yes what?”

“Yes, Mark, please.” You can hear yourself whining and you hate yourself for it, but desperate times call for desperate measures. “Please eat me out, Mark.”

He smiles in the sexiest way that you don’t think it’s possible—like seriously, who is this guy?—biting his lower lip as he does so and if he keeps doing that, you figure he doesn’t even have to eat you out to make you come undone.

He presses his lips near your heat, whispering, “Good girl,” before he places his mouth on the exact spot you want him to be.

“Fuck,” you hiss, biting your own lip as you see his head move between your legs. Mark has his eyes closed, repeating what he has learned earlier that day and does the thing you like the most. When he locks his eyes with yours, you almost choke out a sob.

“Mark,” you try to keep your voice down in whispers but Mark is so good that it feels much easier to work on your goddamn stupid thesis rather than holding back your moan.

“Mmm.” The way he moans at the back of his throat as if he’s having the best time of his life makes you weak and you press your thighs together without knowing. Mark places his hands on each side of your thighs and spreads your legs wide apart, allowing himself to be even closer and making you feel way more exposed. You have to grip your desk with both hands to keep yourself from falling.

“Okay, no, stop—“ You find yourself breathing hard, pushing him back by the shoulder and he raises a questioning eyebrow.

“Was it not good?” He asks and you curse inwardly.

“Mark,” You grab him by the silver necklace he has around his neck, pulling him up so you’re face-to-face. “I’m about to come, what do you think?”

“Really?” He looks impressed with himself. “Then, why did you stop me?”

You tangle your legs around his waist, bringing him close and grind your hips against his. “You know why.”

Mark’s thin lips part in a silent moan, whispering, “Fuck,” under his breath but he tries to keep his composure. “No, I don’t,” he says, teasing you though he doesn’t look like he’s able to hold himself back long. “Babe, I literally just lost my virginity a few hours ago. You have to tell me what you want.”

“Mark.”

“Babe.”

You scowl at him and scowl harder when he has this shit-eating grin on his face, and if your eyes could throw daggers, he’d be in so much pain right now. But Mark is making a sound between a giggle and a snort, which is rather cute but you still kick him in the stomach for playing with you at a time like this. “Mark, come on! I want you to fuck me!”

He takes a hold of your thigh, leaning down to place kisses under your ear. “And where do you want me to fuck you, exactly?” He whispers, purposely making an mmm sound as he sucks on your earlobe. “Should we move to the bed?”

“No, fuck, just do it here.” You unbuckle his belt, pushing his jeans and boxer down to around his thighs, low enough for you to stroke his member and position it toward your entrance. “Mark, just put your cock inside me.”

It seems like he’s beginning to lose his mind over how desperate you are actually begging him. You guide him toward you, making sure he’s not doing anything wrong and when he pushes inside, you just have to bite on his shoulder to muffle your moan.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groans, eyes closing shut as he grips on your thighs, nails sinking into the skin almost painfully. “I couldn’t remember whether you were you this tight before but—oh God—”

His movements are still a bit sloppy, but soon he finds the pace you both like and maintains it. When he sees you throwing your head back in pleasure, he grins to himself and lifts your sweater up to your chest. You help him take it off, unclasping your bra with so much effort as he continues pounding into you.

He’s so consumed by the sight of your breasts bouncing up and down matching his thrusts until he can’t take it anymore. “Babe, can I go a little bit rough?”

“Wha—fuck!” It’s your luck that you don’t slam your head against the wall from the sudden force Mark is thrusting into you. He has his mouth on your breast, moving his hips much quicker than before, and moaning your name several times under his breath. The desk is clearly making a sound as it bumps against the wall but you don’t care—your parents are out of town and Johnny already heard you two before anyway. You can just apologize to him tomorrow.

Mark suddenly changes position, lifting one of your legs up in the air while keeping the other down so he can slide in deeper. “Johnny-hyung told me to try this,” he says with a smirk on his face. He’s breathing quite hard, just like you. He kisses the side of your ankle once before he lays your leg on his shoulder. “Tell me if it’s too much.”

When he moves his hips again, with so much force that you have to hold on to the table, you’re pretty much just screaming his name. Mark’s bangs are sticking to his skin as beads of sweat start to form on his temple, and he pushes his hair back with one hand, chanting your name like a prayer and recording every expression you make in his mind.

You can handle his movements but you’re sure the skin around your waist is going to bruise tomorrow from how hard he’s holding you. You’re getting distracted by the way the muscles on his abs flex with every movement that it catches you off guard when he suddenly says, “I love you,” between his soft moans. You shudder at his words, leaning forward to wrap your fingers around his arm, begging for support. “Mark, you’re not fair—“ The rest of your sentence dies when he hits the spot that makes you see stars.

It’s a little bit embarrassing for you, the much more experienced one, to come undone before he does but Mark doesn’t stop, even if you beg him to. “Hold on to me,” he says, smashing his lips against yours and adding, “Just a little bit more, baby,” between kisses.

When he’s finished, your back and legs are aching so much that he has to carry you onto the bed. Mark shakes his pants off before he slides under the blanket next to you. He asks whether you want to shower and you shake your head. “Tomorrow. I can barely stand right now, to be honest,” you comment which earns a light chuckle from him.

You both sigh out loud, staring at the ceiling and trying the process what the fuck just happened.

“Mark?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“I know it’s bad for your health, but do you think you can get drunk more often?”

He giggles at that, turning to his side so he can face you. He looks so sleepy and you let him caress your face with his fingers with the little energy he has left. “Thank you for today,” he says, smiling dreamily. He leans closer to press your temples together, rubbing the tip of his nose to yours in a childish manner before he kisses you softly. He drifts off to sleep soon after.

When you wake up the next morning, still naked and gross from the night before, you realize that yes, small purplish bruises are forming on the skin of your thighs, waist and for sure, your neck. You look to your right, seeing your boyfriend still sleeping soundly with his stomach pressed against your bed and his lips slightly parted. You don’t have the heart to wake him up, but your parents can come home anytime soon and they cannot catch the two of you looking like this.

“Mark,” you softly call, placing a hand on his cheek and rubbing his skin with your thumb. “Mark, wake up.”

He groans, turning his face away from you. You tap his shoulder, run a hand through his dark locks and still nothing. Huffing, you gather the very little energy you have—without coffee in the morning, you’re pretty much nothing—to turn his body around and crawl on top of him.

“Wha—” Mark’s eyes are half-open but don’t stay so for long when he notices how you’re basically straddling his bare abs with your naked body. He panics so much that he begins to flail all over the place and end up falling from the bed and knocking you off his lap in the process.

You break into a train of laughter, pulling some blanket to cover your body. “Guess sober Mark is back.”

“Why are you naked?!” He shrieks, head peeping out from under the bed, and he shrieks louder when he notices that he’s also in his birthday suit. “Why am I naked?!”

“You seriously don’t remember?”

Mark takes a few seconds to himself, trying to process everything that his blurry memories can give and his jaw falls slack on his face when he realizes that, “We had sex!”

“Yeah, we did. Twice.” You giggle, nudging your head toward your desk which is literally in chaos—papers scattered everywhere, books falling to the floor, pens unaligned.

Mark follows your gaze and gapes harder. “Shit, yeah, on that desk—I remember—wait, but how?! Why—” He looks like he’s physically hurting trying to remember every detail, and probably that’s his hangover talking.

“Want some aspirin?”

He pouts rather cutely. “Yes, please.” When you step down from the bed, leaving your blanket behind, Mark blushes and immediately turns his face away, unconsciously letting out a girly yelp as he does so.

“Umm, babe?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re naked.”

You stifle down a laugh. “Yes, I noticed. And so are you.”

Mark covers his bottom half with a pillow, face flushed. “C-can you put some clothes on?”

You were planning to, but seeing him react like this makes you re-think your decision. “Mark, we literally had sex twice yesterday.”

“I know, don’t say it!” He hides his face behind his palm. “It’s still embarrassing for me.”

“You certainly weren’t embarrassed last night,” you tease, “You even asked whether you could eat me out—”

“GAH!” He has both hands covering his ears, turning his entire body around to hide his face but the way his ears are going red is contradicting his action.

“Mark, look at me.”

“No way in hell!”

Smirking to yourself, you slowly walk to his spot, not covering even an inch of yourself. When you call him again, softer this time, Mark makes a mistake and throws you a glance. He’s no longer able to take his gaze off you after that.

You spread your legs, sitting on the pillow he has on his lap and wrapping both legs around his waist. Pressing your chest to his, you lean close to his ear. “Wanna go for another round?”

Mark gulps.

***

2K notes · View notes

angellesword · 3 years

Text

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK | 15 (FINAL)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It’s simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if…Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

“A future without you is a world without color.”

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 4k

SERIES: CHAPTER 14 | SPECIAL CHAPTER

"You sure you don't need anything?"

You weren't sure if it was annoyance or amusement that caused you to chuckle upon hearing hesitation in your father's voice.

"I'm good, Appa." You assured him, "it's just Jeongguk. Don't worry."

You were wrong. He wasn't worried because of Jeongguk. He was worried because of you.

"Okay," your father let out a deep sigh as he tried to calm his mind. "I trust your soulmate. Have fun, love."

And just like that, the call ended.

Soulmate.

After everything that had happened, your father still believed that Jeongguk was your soulmate.

You still did too. How could you deny that fact when you could clearly see colors now?

It had been four months since your eye surgery. You didn't think it was going to be a successful, mainly because you were convinced that Jeongguk's hatred towards you was the reason why you went blind.

Apparently, it was your fault.

You knew it was reckless to drive when you were under the influence of alcohol. This wasn't just about you. This was also about the people who could have suffered because of your stupidity.

Your father was actually disappointed in you. He didn't expect you to do something like this, especially because he knew that you had a careful approach in life.

You hated being a burden. Your greatest fear was to be the reason why someone was hurting. Your father didn't understand what ticked you to break out of character, and so he asked. He asked what was wrong—causing you to break into tears.

You couldn't keep this to yourself anymore.

You told him about everything you had been going through—like how your soulmate didn't love you and how stressful being a lawyer was.

Of course your father understood, but he told you that it wasn't an excuse to put yourself and other people in danger.

There were other ways to welcome or ignore pain. You agreed since it wasn't like you planned this to happen.

Your father didn't believe in you, though. He felt like you were trying to harm yourself. This was why he called you every single day. He wanted to make sure that you weren't driving or doing things you weren't supposed to do.

He freaked out when you told him that you were going out with Jeongguk tonight. It wasn't because he hated your soulmate. Admittedly, he felt like you were lying when you told him that Jeongguk didn't love you.

That can't be right. It was obvious. Your father had met your soulmate and he saw the way Jeongguk looked and talked about you. He couldn't be wrong; the boy destined to be with you was whipped—as in madly in love with you.

His claim turned out to be true when right after your surgery; you gasped and cried so hard because finally, you could see colors.

It was too good to be true. Was this seriously happening? Was Jeongguk really in love with you?

You couldn't tell.

You used to think that seeing colors was the indication of your soulmate's love for you, but it had been months now yet Jeongguk hadn't verbally told you that he loved you.

Sure. Actions spoke louder than words. You guessed you just had to be contented with this.

The past four months felt like a dream. Jeon Jeongguk, the most stubborn and egotistical person in the world, was acting like a lovesick fool because of you.

You told yourself that you did not want to love your soulmate. You stood by this. You had been ignoring Jeongguk's attempt to 'win you over.'

(Un)fortunately, the boy just wouldn't stop.

He would send you letters written in a small sticky note every day just to tell you the sappiest thing. On the other side of the sticky note, there's an exquisite drawing of every detail about you.

You realized that it was some sort of puzzle, but you hadn't really had the chance to piece it together because you were too caught up with the words written in the sticky notes.

Note 1 Red Red is the first color in the rainbow. She is my first love, but it ended. I'm saying this because I realized that the start isn't always the end. She’s the beginning, you are my end game.

This was the first note you had received from your soulmate. It was plastered on your front door—this was also the first thing you had seen after you had been discharged from the hospital.

Note 2 Orange Orange is the color I thought I know by heart. As it turns out, I've been fooled. I have been fooled by the world, but it's okay. You helped me see.

This note was unclear to you, yet it didn't fail to make your heart feel light. You weren't aware that Jeongguk was talking about how the florist who sold him orange tulips for almost a decade, the one who fooled him.

No one could take advantage of him now, though. You helped him with this problem.

Note 3 Yellow My mom said that yellow is the prettiest color. She also said that it shines the brightest. I'm glad I didn't believe her. It wasn't bright at all. It only reminds me of the time I thought I'll lose you.

It took you long to realize what he was implying.

Yellow.

This was the color of your shirt when your car crashed. Jeongguk remembered how dark life was when you were pushing him away.

Your soulmate had sent you hundreds of letters by now. All of his notes started with colors. Out of all the things he sent you, the yellow note was what stuck to you the most.

The black world was frightening. It felt cold and lonely and Jeongguk was exactly like that. He was lonely. He suffered from a major heartbreak that was why he turned cold. He hated what Red had done to him, but he wasn't really different from his ex-girlfriend.

Jeongguk hurt you the same way Red hurt him, but your soulmate was willing to do everything to make it up to you.

Aside from the notes, you also found out that Jeongguk was the one who cooked your food each day. You got mad at Red because she failed to tell you the truth. There was even a point wherein you stopped eating the food your soulmate had prepared since you literally didn't want to do anything with him anymore.

Jeongguk was still persistent. He would always pick you up from work and then he would ask if you wanted to grab dinner with him.

You always declined his offer to take you out. Turning him down was always part of your daily routine, so you didn't know what changed this Saturday night.

Why, after four months, did you finally accept Jeongguk’s attempt to ask you out?

"Can't resist his bambi eyes, can you?" Jimin laughed on the other line. Your best friend called right after your short phone conversation with your dad. It was like everyone was interested in your business tonight.

"It's just one date, Jimin," you rolled your eyes, yet the blush in your cheeks indicated that Jimin was right.

You still couldn't resist Jeon Jeongguk.

It wasn't like you were giving into him. No. It would take more than his wide, doe eyes to melt your cold, cold heart. He hurt you after all.

But last night was different.

You were supposed to have dinner with your subordinates since it was Friday, but then you spotted Jeongguk waiting outside the building of your small law firm.

He was standing there with trembling lips. Your soulmate was freezing under the cold winter, yet he still chose to wait for you.

You see, Jeon Jeongguk was banned from entering your office. You told the securities not to let him in since he was distracting everyone at work.

Your employees just couldn't stop gushing over your soulmate to the point that they weren't able to finish their task for the day. They were always trying to get Jeongguk's attention and the most annoying part was that your soulmate didn't seem to mind—not because he was a flirt too. It was actually because he was too naïve for his own good.

So yeah. You banned him from entering the building because he was a distraction and definitely not because you were blinded by your stupid jealousy. No. Not at all.

He was your soulmate, yes, but it didn't mean you had to stay together. The only thing you two should do was to try to be casual and not hate each other.

You couldn't afford to make Jeongguk hate you. This was the only rational reason why you agreed to go out on a date with him tonight. You were just scared and guilty for letting him wait for you in the snow.

"Whatever you say," you could imagine Jimin's teasing expression despite not seeing his face. "Have fun, okay? Love you!"

"Ditto! See you soon," you pressed the end bottom of your phone as your doorbell rang.

Seven pm. You bit your lower lip, glancing at the clock. Jeongguk was right on time. He told you last night that he would be outside of your door at exactly seven in the evening.

You sighed and fixed your hair a little before opening the door.

Jeongguk practiced speaking the things he would say to you tonight in front of the mirror. He swore he prepared so hard because he didn't want to disappoint you. He felt like this was his only shot with you, unfortunately it seemed like he was destined to fuck things up with you again.

"Oh fuck," his eyes dilated upon seeing you.

You were wearing this pretty dress that accentuated your curves. You looked so expensive and exquisite that Jeongguk felt like he was out of place.

Your soulmate was wearing a thick sweater and black sweatpants. His hair was messier because of the winter wind.

"You're not dressed." This was the first thing you said to him. The scowl on your face made him think that you already regretted agreeing to spend this night with him.

He was wrong. You were only frowning because you felt embarrassed. You took your sweet time preparing for this date. You even rushed to buy a fancy dress just this morning, causing you to feel like a fool.

It was clear now that you were more excited than the man who practically begged you to go out with him.

"I-I just thought it'd be better to stay home because of the weather." The boy said sheepishly while showing you the home cooked food he had prepared for this date.

You swallowed hard.

"Come in." And then you opened the door wider for him.

Jeongguk let out a sigh of relief. At least you did not kick him out. He wouldn't know what to do if that happened. He missed your home so much. He missed Miri as well. Too bad the fury pet wasn't around.

Miri visited the Kims' mansion every Saturday. Red picked the cat earlier this day. She said Miri was the only one that could make Soobin smile. Red and Seokjin, the newlywed couple, were only allowed to visit Soobin every Saturday. They always take the little boy to a nice place with your cat Miri.

Jeongguk realized that it was a blessing in disguise that the cat wasn't around since no one was scratching the couch where you and him currently sat on.

Jeongguk's idea for this date night was to simply watch some movies while eating. He thought that this was the perfect plan, sadly it looked like you didn't share the same sentiment.

"Jeongguk," irritation was laced in your voice as you called your soulmate's name.

You were irritated for the reason that you felt like he didn't really want to be here.

Jeongguk seemed preoccupied. It was apparent when you asked him what film he wanted to watch. He simply said 'whatever you want," while staring at you blankly.

You let it pass at first, but you couldn't ignore it now that the movie had ended and it appeared like he didn't even realize.

Jeongguk was silent beside you, but he couldn't sit without fidgeting. The air was awkward. He looked awkward, like he was uncomfortable or something. He wasn't even eating his food.

"Did you like the movie? Were you scared?"

"Uh," Jeongguk was staring again. "I'm...yeah. It's pretty scary,"

"Oh." You narrowed your eyes at him. "I didn't know you were afraid of zombies."

"Yeah. I am," he wasn’t and you knew it.

You huffed, crossing your arms. He was such a liar.

"The movie that we just watched," you gritted your teeth. "Isn't about zombies, Jeongguk. It's not even a horror film. It's Toy Story 4!"

You were annoyed. Why did Jeongguk even ask to be with you when he wasn’t going to pay attention to you or to the things the two of you were supposed to do?

"I'm sorry..."

And there's it again. The insincere apology. He was always sorry, but he never changed.

"You know what? Just go home. I..." You trailed off as tears filled your eyes.

Why did you always have to make a fool of yourself because of him?

"I don't want you here."

Jeongguk's heart sank upon hearing the words that left your mouth.

"No please," he also turned pale, eyes turning wide because he wasn't expecting this date to turn out like this. What he wanted to happen was to enjoy the winter night cuddled with you as the two of you watched a romantic movie.

Jeongguk imagined watching Love 911 to give you an idea of some of the things he wanted to try with you.

"What do you mean no? It's obvious that you don't want to be here. You're not even paying attention."

"It's not like that," he avoided your gaze.

You only scoffed. Typical Jeongguk. Always telling you that you didn't get him.

"Then what is it? Why do you look uncomfortable? Why do you look like you don't want to be here—"

"I told you it's not like that!" He was staring at you using those big eyes. His thin beckoning lips protruded into a pout.

"I just!" He sighed like he found it hard to explain what he felt. "Can't concentrate on other things because all I can think about is you!”

"What—"

He didn't let you finish. Jeongguk was rambling. He was nervous. He didn't want you to get mad at him again.

"Your dress really looks so good on you and your make up is really nice. You're really pretty...and really beautiful and really sexy and I really just...really—"

"Huh." you pouted, slightly cringing because of his excessive use of the word really. "So now you're blaming the way I look?"

You were teasing him to get rid of the funny feeling in your stomach. Damn Jeongguk for confusing the hell out of you. You were supposed to be annoyed, but why were you smiling?

And why the hell was it so easy to melt into him?

"No!" Jeongguk groaned. He was getting frustrated. You seemed to always twist his words and extrapolate things.

"Look..." He closed his eyes since he couldn't bear to look at you anymore. He was scared to see the disappointment in your eyes.

"I just love you okay? Like really, really, in love with you."

Jeongguk's heartbeat doubled when you didn't speak.

Silence engulfed the whole room that he was forced to open his eyes.

His heart went even crazier. It was beating erratically.

Why were you staring at him with an agape mouth?

"What did you say?" You were no longer in the mood to fool around. Sure, you were teasing Jeongguk, but it didn't mean he could also joke about feelings and love.

It wasn't fair.

"I love you?" Jeongguk said, unsure.

He wasn't unsure of his feelings. He just didn't know if you were referring to the last words he uttered.

"You...love me?" You were still in doubt.

Jeongguk simply nodded his head; a soft smile was plastered on his lips as he scrunched his nose. You knew this look well. This was his genuine self and it only meant one thing.

He wasn't lying.

"But..." you bit the inside of your cheek. "This is the first time you told me that."

"I thought it's obvious?" Jeongguk mirrored your confused expression.

He expressed what he felt for you by singing. Jeongguk thought you understood.

You did not. The song lifted your spirit and you also found the gesture sweet, but you still didn't realize it was his way of confessing.

"I mean..." Jeongguk pouted his lips more. "Your eyes tell, right? You can see colors now."

As soon as these words escaped his mouth, Jeongguk felt like he had been hit by a truck—crushing his bones and telling him how stupid he was for crossing the street even though there were signs that told him to stop.

Signs.

The signs had been there all along.

"You love me..." Jeongguk blurted out. His realization was too sudden that he couldn't help but a cry a little.

You panicked as you asked him what was wrong.

"I wasted six months because of how stupid I am!" His answer was unclear.

"Gukkie," you put your hands on the either side of his shoulder, urging him to look at you. "You're not making sense. Speak slowly."

Jeongguk shook his head, tears still painting his cheeks. It was funny how the situation kept on turning around. Just a few breaths ago, you were the one who was on the verge of crying.

"I told you you didn't understand!" Jeongguk was still not making sense, but you decided to stay quiet and let him speak.

It looked like he needed an outlet for the reason that his emotions were overflowing.

"I left b'cause I thought...you...d-din't love me!" He sobbed and your heart cracked.

How could he think this way when all you had ever done was make him feel the love you felt for him?

Jeongguk's twisted expression told you that you had voiced out the question running inside your mind out loud.

"I called you delusional since I believed that you really are," he was bringing back the wounds that you were trying so hard to forget.

Still, you didn't stop him from speaking.

"H-How can you be sure you love me when I myself know that I am not worthy of your love?"

Jeongguk knew that he had always been mean to you. He hadn't done anything to make you fall in love with him that was why he was questioning your feelings.

It wasn't him whom you loved. It was the idea of him being your soulmate. You liked the thought that there was someone out there for you.

It made sense now, though. The fact that he could see colors brightly made him realize that your feelings were real, but it didn't mean he understood your reasons.

Jeongguk stood by his statement. He was unworthy of your love.

"You're not doubting yourself, Jeongguk." You shook your head at him, proving him otherwise. "You are doubting my feelings for you."

This wasn't about Jeongguk's beliefs. This was about you. You grew up thinking that when you felt like everything was collapsing, your only choice was to trust what you feel was right. It's because at the end of the day, you were going to be the one to face the consequence of your actions—not your parents, not your friends, and not even your soulmate. They would be affected by your decisions, yes, but only indirectly.

They could make their own choices that would directly affect their lives even if their choice was based on your decision. People would end up having different results even though they walked on the same path.

"But why me?" Jeongguk sounded broken as he asked this. It hurt you to think that he really thought so lowly of himself.

He couldn't be blamed. He loved Red before; however, it was still not enough. He had moved on from her, but it didn't mean that all the scars would fade away.

His first breakup up caused him to think that despite giving your one hundred percent, it would still be lacking for some people.

But you weren't some people.

You were you and you had your reason.

"Sometimes you don't need a reason to love someone." Your reason was not having a reason at all.

Your soulmate wasn't sure if he agreed to what you said.

Jeongguk didn't believe that just because things existed, it was already valid. Validation cannot be valid if one would not give enough reasons to prove why it's worth validating.

This was the reason why Jeongguk was questioning the love you claimed you felt. He needed reasons. He was just a human after all—always in need of affection and reassurance.

"I mean...I tried thinking of a reason why I shouldn't love you, but I just can't find any." Your confession made Jeongguk blush.

You had always been straight forward.

The way you loved was the opposite of how your soulmate loved. This was probably the explanation why it took him long to admit his feelings for you.

As stated, Jeongguk was in constant need of reason. His drawings of you were his proof of the love he felt.

"If you can't find any reason, then just allow me to tell you the million reasons why I love you."

He didn't wait for your answer. Jeongguk simply moved closer to you. His face was just inches away from yours.

"You're smart." And then he kissed your forehead.

You weren't only a book smart. You were emotionally intelligent. You had taught Jeongguk a lot of things, especially when it came to forgiveness and compassion.

"You're brave." He kissed you left eye.

He remembered the night you told him you liked him. It was in front of many people. You didn't hesitate even when he was running away.

"You're patient and understanding," he kissed your right eye.

You tried to understand Jeongguk's annoying attitude.

"You work hard in all aspects." He kissed your nose.

"You're beautiful," he kissed your left cheek.

You really were. Inside and out.

"It's you,"

Jeongguk didn't know if he could love someone who wasn't you.

"Most importantly, I love you because you are my soulmate." And then he kissed you on the lips.

You laughed in between the kiss, but you didn't stop kissing him back.

Did you forgive him?

The answer was yes.

Were you ready to love him again?

Perhaps.

Were you still hurt by his actions before?

Yes.

Did you want to be with him?

Yes.

There were many questions flooding your mind right now. Some of your answers might not be the truth, maybe you were just too happy right now—caught up in the moment because you were in Jeongguk's arms again.

But it didn't matter now because one thing was sure.

You were willing to love Jeon Jeongguk again because you didn't want to repeat his mistake.

You didn't want to lose your soulmate just because of hatred and denial.

Things were clear now.

Jeon Jeongguk loved you and the world was no longer black and white.

BONUS: (a poem made by young OC that made her realize why she should trust her own feelings)

holy. after 6 weeks???? i’m finally done writing this baby. wow. thank you thank you everyone for reading this—especially those people who never failed to send me feedback. i love you all!

New fic alert! READ HERE >> SAVE ME - Demon!Taehyung x Doctor!Reader

YES. I LIKE USING BTS’ songs as the title of my fanfics. 😅

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leviiattacks · 3 years

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Two Faced | Chapter Ten

↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it’s all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared, for now at least.

pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au ??? (at this point idek) angst, fluff, slice of life etc ?? word count :: 4k author note :: haha.... wowww it's been long since i last updated. honestly my physical and mental health have just been horrible... that's about it, i lost a lot of motivation but if you're still reading i am very thankful and i will try to deliver the story well. i tried my best but writing whilst sick is very tiresome :-) tags :: @patience-is-here , @chwlogy , @a--nonymousse , @imkumichan

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Keeping yourself cooped up within Levi's estate and never daring to step a foot outside should have been what you had done. Blackmailing him to keep you confined within the walls of your bedroom would be much better compared to the problem you have to resolve now. Perhaps if you had done so you wouldn't have collided face first into this muddle.

Jean fiddles with the ends of his button up, he doesn't take the chance to glance up at any of his superiors. He's either much too embarrassed or has nothing noteworthy to start off with.

Erwin chooses to call the shots seeing as neither you or the Viscount by your side wish to begin.

"You both understand why we're here. Correct me if I'm wrong?" The Commander looks between you, Jean and your unfortunate excuse of a husband. Suddenly it looks as if the gears and cogs in Jean's brain move without warning.

Offering a demure nod you expect for him to follow in your footsteps and do the same only he stands there looking between you and Levi.

"Wait...The two of you are? A couple?" Stunned isn't the word, Jean's completely flabbergasted.

"If you figured that out this late, I do not understand why Erwin sees you remotely fit for my team." Levi's beyond insulted at the fact he's only just understood the situation.

Jean, now more intimidated than ever before straightens his back and coughs clumsily, "Sorry." He murmurs chestnut eyes making contact with the hardwood floors.

The Commander's laced hands sit atop his desk, elegant fingers moving similar to honey on a spoon. He sighs not out of fatigue but pride. Whatever plan he's come up with has to be decent at the very least, his body language is telling you that much.

"We have a number of possibilities we can choose from. We owe that pleasure to Mr Kirstein here." Erwin offers him an almost cynical smile, you can't help but gulp thinking about how this is essentially your fault. With all the constant training sessions and team building tasks it makes sense for Jean to have completely forgot about your unspoken rule. Solely blaming him is incorrect.

Raising your arm above your head to intervene you make it known that you're aware of Levi shooting you a look of warning by returning it. It's best he knows you don't care for anyone's opinion let alone his.

"Permission to speak Commander?"

Your request is agreed to immediately with the wave of Erwin's hand.

"It's my fault for not reminding Jean. I'll take the blame, I hadn't even told him the full story concerning me and Levi."

Levi doesn't enjoy your defense in the slightest. "I don't expect my wife to fling herself at other men and allow for them to snoop around gathering the details of our personal lives."

Scoffing you shield yourself with your arms over your chest.

"Oh dear husband. If you want to get personal do tell me where my family is?" It's an inside joke only Levi will be able to understand.

"If you call those people family your standards are disgustingly low."

"Maybe that explains why I settled for you."

Again, other's opinions are not at the forefront of your priority list. Regardless it's quite enjoyable pushing Levi further into a corner with that sentence. You see the internal struggle play out within him. Jaw clenched, hands balled together. He doesn't have an appropriate response

Jean bursts out unable to hold it in any longer, chest trembling with every quake of laughter that ripples through him you have to shove him with your elbow. For a Viscount his etiquette sure is nonexistent.

"My word, the two of you sound like..."

Levi stares at him most probably expecting something along the lines of "An old married couple."

But, no. It's nothing anyone in the room expects. That includes you.

"It's as if you're unhappy with each other..."

Not a noise is made after that. Jean isn't mistaken, your heart is miserable. You've never had many relationships to begin with, whether it be familial, romantic or platonic and for someone such as your husband to treat you the way he does - it feels futile having to navigate around the complexities. Even if he isn't really your husband it's disappointing to reflect on your marriage so suddenly.

Feeling your face droop a little you bite your bottom lip with your teeth. Hearing the truth from someone you barely expect to hear it from has an effect on you.

You're so caught up analyzing everything it takes you a minute to even register Levi grumbling and lunging forward pilfering the collar of Jean's shirt.

"Every day you prove to be more and more pathetic than I expect." Levi turns to look at you after that. His stare bores into you but he doesn't come off threatening, you assume his last remark is directed solely at Jean.

When he turns back only glaring at Jean now with even more tenacity than before. He's ready to snap but Erwin has clearly had enough of the unwanted altercation in his office.

"Enough. The both of you. This is most bothersome." At the Commander's orders Levi is silenced although it takes all of his resolve to do so.

Finally bothering you take a good look at Jean. He's calm in an incredibly out of character way.

Is this not the man who trembled in his boots the first time he and Levi came into contact? It's almost as if he seems pleased with himself for drawing out such a reaction from his Captain.

Erwin shuffles through stacks of paperwork on his desk. The man needs an assistant at this point. You doubt you could find anything in that haphazard pile. Edges of crumpled paper poke out uncomfortably and Erwin becomes increasingly annoyed when he can't locate what it is he's looking for.

Just as you're about to ask if he requires any assistance it seems he's found what he's been looking for, that's if his eyes are any indication of the relief he feels.

"This." He holds up the paper, all eyes in the room are trained on it. "Under normal circumstances would not have to become an option."

"But these aren't normal circumstances?" Jean's thoughtless question is irksome when the answer is so obviously staring him down in the face.

Nonetheless Erwin nods incapable of losing his cool over something so minor.

"Sign to confirm to my proposition."

The document he places onto the desk isn't what you imagine, you can practically feel the dread climb up your throat once you're done scanning it. Jean's full name placed right next to yours in bold lettering has your stomach lurching. You don't have to read the rest to understand the new circumstances you've landed into.

To make matters worse Erwin places two rings down right in front of the both of you.

A pot of boiling hot water is what you've been thrown in.

Are you supposed to be some sort of replacement for potatoes? What's Jean in this scenario? Carrots?

"It is troublesome to have the two of you put on an act to be involved with one another but I see it as our safest option." Erwin notices your parted lips and slacked jaw. "You need not worry this isn't a marriage contract, you're simply acting."

There's no path out of this pot, you and Jean will simply have to deal with the prospect of being boiled alive.

Ah, you forgot to mention who would act as the hot water but you're sure the suspect is obvious.

Even right now Levi's fury radiates off of him, it's unclear if he was given the details of the Commander's plan beforehand but if his furrowed brow and pursed lips are indicators of the truth he must have had no idea.

Your suspicions are confirmed to be correct once Levi reaches forward plucking the paper away, it just so happens he's snatched it away the very moment Jean leans in to get a closer look at it.

"I was never informed of this."

Erwin gives him a guarded smile. "Do you have any jurisdiction over what I think is best?" Is his freezing reply.

"Yes. When it concerns my wife and another man - Correction. I meant boy."

Jean's taken aback by the subtle jab and shamefacedly shoves his hands into his pockets.

You watch the scene go down with a perplexed look the entire time. Levi's frustration seems to be legitimate yet he has no logical reason for it to ever be present in the first place. Unless he has a plan which outperforms the one you've just been given he's doing this all for nothing.

"I assure you your wife is in safe hands so long as you stop interfering."

Levi's about to bark back until he catches your confusion. He's become aware of your tilted head and telling expression and only then does he silence himself permanently not before sighing deeply, muttering an expletive under his breath.

"I’ll sign it.” That seems to be Jean’s indirect way of asking what your choice will be.

“I... will too.” Is your hesitant reply.

Levi only becomes avoidant after that. Half way through Erwin explaining how you and Jean have to look believable Levi just ups and leaves without a word. Perhaps you've hurt his pride but for what he's done to you it's a small price to pay and so you do nothing to make amends. He has no reason to feel uncomfortable, you aren't really his wife, you're essentially strangers. Does he even know your favourite colour? Your favourite food? Your favourite pastime?

You doubt he does.

Jean and you are rather successful with your act. It feels pleasant having him brush your hair out of your face occasionally or lovingly place a hand on your forehead to check if you've come down with a fever. He laces his fingers with yours when others are around and when they aren't he lets the act go. It's satisfying having a cooperative partner.

Naturally Jean is still a tease, even now he makes the odd suggestive comment or two in passing but you can't say you hate it. In fact it excites you to think of a response that borders the edge of teasing and simple fun between friends.

The increasing openness between the two of you is enough for the cadets to deduce that he's most probably the noble man you wed in secrecy.

It's only been a few days since yours and Jean's newfound behaviour, thankfully you haven't been flooded with questions just yet. The higher ups sit nearby during breakfast, lunch and dinner keeping watch over the cadets. It leaves you able to eat and drink without having to handle the constant inquiring of your comrades.

However, you aren't as lucky today. A meeting's taking place and after yours and Jean's convincing act Erwin deems it safe enough to leave you unattended for a short while.

Of course it doesn't go according to plan because when you're involved when does anything ever go according to plan?

The cadets are flocked around your table at dinner as soon as they notice they've been left to their own devices. The opportunity to sit down without everyone invading your space is barely provided to you. Krista is sat to your right leaning into you rather animatedly, Annie has made herself at home sat across you which in itself is completely out of character and slightly unnerving, Annie never and you repeat never concerns herself with you.

"Why did you and Jean hide it?" Armin hovers over your shoulder as per usual. He can't be blamed for naturally being inquisitive and it does give you the opportunity to lay out the foundations of your plan. Now's your time to muster up one of your rehearsed responses.

"It would interfere with work." You respond immediately wanting to appear natural. Pondering on an answer for too long would raise suspicions.

Armin makes a sound of approval and shuffles into the seat next to Krista, that is until Ymir can be overheard telling him to move if he knows what's best for him.

"I have a question." Says a voice across the table, you don't have to look at the blonde parallel to you to know it's her.

For once Annie’s initiated a conversation with you, she’s not particularly great at keeping her intentions discreet. Maybe she doesn’t care if you can tell what she’s up to? But if that’s the case her plan isn’t all that foolproof, there's no way you're to let any details slip away.

Sharply inhaling waiting for what it is she has to say you find that her sentence never comes. Instead she shakes her head and murmurs a "Never mind.". You don't even have the time to ask her to stick around, she's already rose from her seat taking her unfinished plate of food with her, you let her go assuming she feels unwell.

"So how'd you two meet? Jean already told me earlier but I'd like to hear your side." Reiner's taken Annie's empty seat and his gaze is unwavering. The trap they've set up is a clever one. Surveying the hall for Bertholdt you know he has to be observing too. The two never operate alone.

You suddenly hate Reiner. For whatever reason he and his trio are endlessly obsessed with you, they've caught onto something that's for sure but you don't know what it is and now they've completely ensnared you with a backhanded trick. There's no way out of this, you have no idea what it is Jean said to Reiner, the chances of you providing the exact same answer are slim to none.

"My memory is really fuzzy, I don't think Jean gave off much of a first impression so I've forgot." Your horrible excuse doesn't fly by, everyone simultaneously narrows their eyes in disbelief. What you've said isn't convincing at all.

Husband and Wife yet you've forgot how the two of you met?

Fidgeting with the ring adorning your finger the cool metal isn't doing a great job at alleviating the pressure of the situation.

"Jean said the two of you hit it off almost instantly. Who's being dishonest?"

Reiner's either lying to catch you out or he's saying the God honest truth and right now all you can do is hope and pray for a miracle to sweep you off your feet. Mikasa and Jean still aren't within view. At this point you're hoping for Levi to save you, it doesn't matter how so long as you escape unscathed.

"Hey, I think we're just making her anxious with all the questions." Armin is quick to side with you, deep down you know he only does so due to the respect he holds for his Commander. You thank the Heaven's for Erwin's admirable smile and commendable leadership, it seems to be the only reason Armin believes you and Jean.

"Or she's lying." Reiner's resting his head in one of his palms, he's still boring holes right into your frame.

Your eye twitches, this is all unnecessary and uncalled for, whatever it is Reiner wants out of you it better be worthwhile.

He still eggs you on. "You walked out of the Captain's quarters. I saw you."

Standing up and leaning forward you plant your feet to the ground as firmly as you can you.

"And if she did what's it to you?"

Fighting the urge to sigh in relief you've never been happier to hear Jean's voice but something's off. His breathing sounds heavy - like he fought his way to get inside. Turning only then do you notice Mikasa standing by him. She looks equally as exhausted. There's been some sort of a struggle.

"You think it was funny getting Annie to guard the door?" He heaves and runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

"And you think hiding secrets from the rest of us is any better?" Reiner's adamant there's information that the both of you are hiding, he's not wrong but that doesn't change that he's challenging you unprovoked without a reasonable motive.

"We're hiding nothing." Unlike you Jean is sure of his words, he's confident speaking up and he seems to be able to pull off the role of a protective husband perfectly.

“I came out of the Captain’s quarters because he had access to hot water. He said I could use his shower. That’s all it was.”

Reiner quirks an eyebrow upwards and is pleased with your answer. God you’ve said something incriminating haven’t you? It's not incriminating per se but it's without doubt malleable and easy to twist.

“Jean, you were okay with your wife doing that at the dead of night?” Reiner's still leading the interrogation.

“I was the one who suggested it.”

“I don’t believe you’re a couple." If it were Reiner who said that you wouldn't care much, after all it's pretty clear he never believed it but to your displeasure it isn't him who's spoken. Ymir's lopsided grin is all knowing and you're beginning to lose your footing in this argument any second now if any more people start to side against you.

If Ymir disagrees that almost certainly means Krista has her qualms about you too, you've observed beforehand that Ymir tends to speak for Krista on occasion. This happens to be one of those times.

Krista timidly raises her hand and Ymir gives her an approving nod encouraging her to speak.

"I don't like the conflict going on but it is suspicious..."

"Why have I only ever seen you two hold hands?" She asks.

Ymir slings her arm over Krista's shoulder affectionately. "Yeah, I tell Krista I'll marry her every day of the week."

Mikasa mumbles something unintelligible, Ymir gives her a look of warning but Mikasa doesn't seem to care. Instead she repeats what she has to say loud and clear.

"Stick to only speaking when Krista is involved."

Krista holds Ymir by her arm so she doesn't get up, she knows how she gets when she's been provoked. Even if Krista has her suspicions it isn't worth Ymir gaining a permanent penalty point on her record.

Thankfully Armin cuts in. "There's no solid evidence to show they're lying and even if they are the Commander's most probably told them to. Don't you think there's a reason? Leave it be if that's the case. I trust him with our lives."

"We have a right to know." Annie's returned and insists to keep this back and forth going.

Just as you're about to fire back Jean takes a hold of your waist, you look down and seeing his large hands planted securely around your frame has your stomach bubbling with anticipation.

"What are you— "

And then he kisses you, he doesn't ask and instinctively your arms move to whack his chest but you stop yourself in time. You realize it's for the sake of your plan not falling through and so you gently place your hands on his shoulders attempting to ground yourself. It becomes increasingly difficult when you sink deeper into the kiss than you'd like to admit. Blood rushes to the tips of your ears and the thumping of your heartbeat makes it difficult to articulate any thoughts, all you really know is that you like this, whatever this is.

Jean's hands don't feel like they were made to rest against your back, they feel slightly out of place as if he's a key and you're an unmatched lock. In spite of that the circles he comfortingly rubs into the sides of your waist are appreciated, you almost forget you're in a room full of people until you're flooded by cold air.

You've been dragged off of Jean and something in the pit of your stomach has you wishing Levi isn't responsible for the interruption.

To your relief it's just Hange, they're glowing in mischief, the grin on their face shows they aren't mad. They might even find this entertaining.

"Well I be damned... maybe they weren't bluffing?" Connie's been persuaded by the looks of it and Krista's busy whispering to Ymir, you hear the faint sound of the word "Romantic" escape her lips, she's equally as convinced as Connie.

Hange smacks your back light-heartedly and looks to the door for a second. "We leave ya' both for a while and you decide to give everyone a show?"

Erwin's stood by the doorway with a humorous smile playing at his lips, Levi however is anything but amused, he glares at you with murderous eyes, he looks like he's ready to end your life then and there but you know he won't dare do so and for a second you feel braver than you ever have before. Without much thought you grab onto Jean's forearm.

"Me and my husband will get going now!" You allow your gaze to loiter when you get to Reiner. He grunts an apology and you're oh so tempted to ask him to repeat himself but you'd rather not instigate anything.

With that said and done you and Jean leave after giving the performance of your lives.

Slowly but gradually the sky outside becomes dark.

The will to sleep left your body long ago. It's by pure luck that you even manage to catch three hours of rest. Training is the only available distraction and dying out in battle isn't favourable by any means, your boredom may as well be used resourcefully - Strapping yourself up in your ODM gear is the best option.

A quarter way through your warm up you can sense a presence behind you, the leaves rustle and the wind feels noticeably quieter. You'd bother to turn around to see who's intruded but Levi's snuck close enough for you to be able to smell his perfume from where you're stood.

"Feel disrespected? Embarrassed even?" You jab at him knowing it'll rile him up, you don't face him not wanting to give him the pleasure of seeing your face.

"Watch your mouth." he warns sharply.

Rolling your eyes you go about your business, it stays that way for a few minutes. All the while Levi stares at you darting from tree to tree, his scrutinizing gaze scalding you repeatedly.

"Y/N!" He yells at the top of his lungs.

For some unknown reason you automatically stop and lower yourself to the ground

"I have something to tell you." Comes his tense follow up. A finger of his latches onto one of the leather straps on your back.

You can't believe he's still denying the undeniable.

"You can wait till tomorrow. I'll be going to bed."

Levi doesn't seem to care for your cold response and proceeds with no warning.

"I'm jealous." His voice shakes. The grip he has on your harness doesn't let up. With your back turned to him you're still somehow able to detect the very obvious crack of pain.

Levi, jealous?

Gritting your teeth together you feel deceived.

How much longer will you have to tolerate Levi's push and pull?

“May I ask, what he is to you, my love?”

Your breathing grows heavy, tensing up you're completely shocked by the term of endearment that falls from his lips. You haven't heard it for so long, Levi sounds eerily different.

You hate to admit it but a flicker of foolish hope lights in your chest.

"Levi why would you ask— "

"Why don't you call me Lev anymore?" He whispers sounding strangled. You can't take it anymore and hesitantly look his way.

His eyes are filled with tears "I'm sorry my love, I don't know what went wrong." you falter for a second not knowing what to think.

At that moment the flicker becomes a flame.

The man who stands right before you is meant to be dead, never to be seen again. By all accounts this should be impossible, but Lev has always been a fighter.

Bitterness stings your heart, the wounds you've collected are still fresh but despite your body's protests you don't flinch when he gently takes a hold of your wrist, bringing it closer to his mouth.

"Lev...? Is that really you...?" You ask desperately.

The warm kiss he presses against your pulse point provides you with the answer you've been longing for.

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babychoko · 2 years

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🎀𝔽𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕝𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕡𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤🎀

Part 6

Note: This story might come to an end soon. I had to change a few things here and there..and then this chapter came out😶. Have fun!

Sometimes times change. It can come all of a sudden. It can be positive as well as negative. And at some point you wonder if you could turn back time. I should have guessed.

Not everything turns out positive.

Or is it just me who thinks that?

"No, you don't have to pay for me!", I protested and was about to open my wallet.

"No. It's on me."

The old ice cream vendor looked at us wearily. "Otherwise, I'll feel bad, Xingqiu." I eventually conceded defeat because he wouldn't budge. When Xingqiu paid for our ice cream, the ice cream vendor looked like he was 10 years younger. "Enjoy." We thanked him and walked out of the store. This time we decided to pick a flavor we hadn't tried yet. We walked to the dock and sat down on us on a bench. "Let's see if you like it."

"I hope so for your sake too." On the count of three, we tasted the ice cream. Afterward, we looked at each other.

"Well, the kind I chose doesn't taste bad. How about you, (name)?"

"Same here. Want to try it?" I held the small spoon in front of his lips. But he didn't seem to respond at first and stared at my spoon.

"Xingqiu? Are you dreaming?" I looked at him in confusion. Does my ice cream look inedible?

"Ah, sorry! Thanks..." He bent down to my spoon, brushed his long strand of hair out of the way for a moment, and tasted my ice cream. "Tastes pretty sweet..." he appraised.

Approvingly, I shoved the spoon into my mouth as I scooped some of my ice. "Yup!"

Suddenly, he offered his spoon toward me as a sign that I should try some of his ice cream flavor. "Yours tastes like citrus...but much more sour than normal!" I screwed up my face a little. "But still, I kind of like it. I don't know why! I'll buy that flavour next time," I laughed.

"Don't say that..." he muttered, looking at his lap.

Huh? Why does he look so embarrassed about that? When I spilled, I wanted to reach for a napkin, but Xingqiu was faster.

With his thumbs, he smiled and wiped away the ice stain over the corner of my mouth.

I mumbled a thank you and leaned on his shoulder to continue enjoying the view of the harbor. We looked at the sails in peace and the fresh air did us good. Of course, we were careful to make sure there were no seagulls around. That can't end nicely and he didn't pay for our ice cream for nothing. I was glad we could spend time together again. "How's your book coming along?", I asked, not taking my eyes off the sea.

"I haven't finished it yet, but I think it might be good. Would you maybe want to keep reading it?"

"Sure. I can't wait to read the next chapters." He may not have fully realized it, but he really does have a knack for creative writing. However, it is still unclear whether he would like to publish his stories one day. I'm quite sure, however, that he will succeed. However, I wonder if he will have time to do so once he starts working for his father's company. Xingqiu told me that although his brother will take over the company, he is quite sure that his brother will make many mistakes, so Xingqiu will most likely have to correct them. It won't be long before we will all go our separate ways. Suddenly, I felt some anxiety about whether we will all see each other at all after graduation. But it's not like it's already started that everyone will go their separate ways.

While everyone knows what they want to do, I'm left with no future plans. And the pressure of my family doesn't make it any better. Not wanting to ruin this moment with my worries, I decided not to say anything for now.

Xingqiu must have noticed that something was wrong with me, because he put his hand on mine. But he didn't spoke a word. I'm sure he has a lot to say too. But I’ll give him time until he is ready.

And who would have thought? Xingqiu became more and more daring.

"I want you to try harder!" exclaimed Mr. Tartaglia, grinning at us. It was afternoon and our last lesson of the day was gymnastics.

Have I ever mentioned that he is the most sadistic teacher ever? Although he put on a friendly smile, what he demanded belonged in the grave in my opinion! His physical education classes are pure torture.

The students continued to run through the sports field with difficulty. I have forgotten how many laps I have run. I would like to run away from here instead of running around. But Mr.Tartaglia seems to keep an eye on all of us like an eagle. At some point I stopped for a breather. I was very hot and I certainly could not run anymore. That will certainly give a point deduction, but at the moment I had no nerve to do so. I drank water briefly until someone grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me behind a building. Out of reflex, I wanted to make a sound, but I was immediately turned around and as it turned out, it was Xingqiu who pulled me here.

"What are you doing?" I slowly breathed back to normal. The boy just smiled. I raised an eyebrow.

"Let's go. It's very boring here." Uh?

"Xingqiu... you actually want to play hooky?" I think I can't believe my ears. He pointed his thumbs behind him, towards the school building. "Do you want to stay here and sweat through it or... rather pass the time with me?" The way he said that last sentence kind of won me over. It's not like I can say no. I want to spend the time with him, of course, but skipping classes is not the way to go.

"Listen, I would love to..but if we get caught-"

I couldn't mention the sentence as Xingqiu placed a hand gently on my cheek and smiled at me in a relaxed manner.

"Who said we'd get caught?" I watched as he took a few steps forward already. Then he held his hand out to me. "You coming?" I agreed after all and held his hand. Laughing, he ran and pulled me after him. "What if someone does see us?"

"Don't worry, most of them have gymnastics or are in the classroom!" I ran after him laughing.

We took off our gym jackets and tied them around our waists. When we arrived in the hallway, he held an index finger in front of his lips as a sign that it should now be quiet as a mouse. He glanced behind a wall and moved off with me when the coast was clear. We strolled through the hallways lit by the orange light of the afternoon sun and looked at some pictures hanging on the walls. Slowly, my fear that we might get caught faded. Or that I would dare to play hooky so that I could spend time with a boy. When Xingqiu caught sight of a picture of Mrs. Ningguang, he rolled his eyes and playfully stuck his finger down his throat to show his dislike for her over. I held a hand in front of my mouth and chuckled softly. When he pulled something small and white out of his pants pocket, I widened my eyes.

A sharpie. A waterproof Sharpie...

Using his sleeve to cover up fingerprints, he held the Sharpie and scribbled a piggy bank that spit out bills. It didn't look clean, but you could see what was pictured thanks to its nose. Shocked, I looked at him. He usually didn't show his dislike to others. Mrs.Ningguang definitely won't be amused. He put the Sharpie back in his pocket for safety's sake and continued our little discovery tour. If this is found out, he will be in mighty trouble. But the blue-haired one didn't seem to care. It must have felt good for him to have done this. As we walked along, he stretched once. "Let's see..." he whispered, looking around. When he turned his back to me to look behind a wall, I got a little playful and stroked a finger along his back. He jerked up from the goosebumps and immediately turned to me because it startled him. I smiled at him and stuck my tongue out once innocently. He looked at me blinking with a neutral expression before briefly grabbing my chin with one hand and pulling my face towards him.

I couldn't react at all and didn't even realize what he was doing. A few seconds passed.

Gobsmacked, I looked at him as he released his lips from mine and withdrew his tongue into his mouth.

Woah.

I learned my lesson and remained well-behaved. No more little pranks were played on Xingqiu.

For now. Somehow... I already wanted to tease him more.

We went up the stairs to the school roof, which was a good hiding place. Right now the school roof is closed and so no one would think of coming here. We sat down in front of the door and took a little break from our tour. In front of us are the stairs with a huge window. If one would pass by there, one could see us. But that happens rather rarely at this time.

"I wonder if they've noticed we're not there yet?", I wondered. Xingqiu shook his head.

"There are a lot of us students. It won't be noticed. And if it is, I can talk us out of it. I'll think of something." How could I forget that Xingqiu can cleverly talk his way out of anything?

"What about the others? Are you making them suffer?"

"Then it would be conspicuous. The other students will be fine. And besides, I'd like to spend more time with you..alone." Xingqiu said. I turned my head toward him. "I want to catch up on what we've missed lately, (name)."

I played a little with the sleeve of my sports jacket, obviously embarrassed by what he said. I just love it when he sweetly expressed his desires. That he felt that way about me made me happy. "Mmm, me too," I replied softly. All this learning was getting to both of us. Or rather, the pressure. Not to mention worrying if we'd even find time again one day. The fact that he dared to play hooky to see only me, I appreciated it.

Our clique seemed to be slowly and gradually unraveling. In the last few months, we spent a lot of time together. But ever since school work started piling up more and more and we started going to other classes and making new connections..everything became different. Even our free time was packed with preparing for the future. No meetings, few to no calls, just smalltalk..that didn't feel right.

"Xingqiu, do you think things will be the same one day?"

"I can't tell you," he whispered.

It was silent between us for a while. I was deep in my thoughts and didn't notice him approaching me.

"(Name)..are you feeling lonely?" I kept eye contact with the ground. "Mhm..." I nodded afterwards. "Yeah." It was clear that he was feeling lonely as well.

He put his hands on my shoulders and smiled at me until he gave me a hug, which I returned. I slowly sank down the wall with my back until I was lying with my back now on the floor. The sun's rays gave us a slight warmth. I snuggled up to him and tried to forget all my worries. I wanted to forget them completely. At least just for a moment. Guilt, fear as well as sadness had been building up for some time.

I shrugged my shoulders as his lips were near my neck as he leaned his head on my shoulder.

The next moment, he sat up over me. Our eyes still held contact as he now bent over me. His brown-gold eyes shimmered through the warm rays of the sun, but his expression remained gentle. I could tell he wanted to say something, yet his lips remained sealed. He knows he can tell me anything and I will give him the time he needs.

I looked to the other side, down to the stairs where the large window was, as he came closer to me and placed a gentle kiss on my neck.

At least he doesn‘t make me feel lonely..right?

His warm fingertips slid from my shoulders slowly down to my sides and then to my hips. I lay with my hands stretched out a bit and continued to absently watch the orange sky. My sports jacket rustled softly as the sleeves that were tied around my hips were now untied from him. Apparently I looked far too absent-minded, because Xingqiu put a hand on my cheek again and turned my head to look at him.

He looked worried.

I shook my head with a slight smile. "It's okay..let me do it," I whispered and sat up. He looked at me confused for a moment, but agreed. Now I was the one bent over him.

A little embarrassed, he looked at me and then at the ceiling as I placed my hand unassuredly on his stomach and slowly slid them under his shirt.

We hadn't been very close for several months. The last time was when he kissed me in his room after he was engrossed in a novel and we had dinner together afterwards. But I think that was the first time I touched him in that way. I don't even know if I deserved it, though.

His skin was incredibly soft and there was not a single hair on his body. Somehow I envied him. Slowly, I slid my hand further down from his chest to his lower stomach area. I could clearly feel him breathing in a little deeper. He squeezed his eyes shut after I went a tiny bit lower.

At that moment, guilt took over me and I stopped. I slowly withdrew my hand and placed it on the floor. Xingqiu sat up and looked at me. But my gaze remained glued to the floor. He placed a hand on mine and squeezed it gently with a soft smile.

"Shall we go back?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Do you want to stay here for a while?"

I gave a nod in response to that question and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Do you think I'm a bad daughter?", I asked quietly. "I haven't accomplished anything for the future yet, have I?"

"I don't think so. You're not bad and you still have a lot of time," he smiled. "Your time will come. And besides..I should feel guilty after all." He said very quietly the last part. But I was interrogating myself.

It turned out that no one noticed that we sneaked out of the gym class. Luckily.

After I changed and was ready to head home, Xingqiu was waiting for me outside. I looked around to make sure he was waiting for his house helper to be picked up, but his eyes were only on me. With a hand signal, he indicated that I could come over, which I did.

"Don't you have a management class to go to?", I asked, confused.

"I can skip that. Once is like no time."

"N-no, you can't do that. And sure it was just once?"

"We should still use the remaining time," he whispered. Remaining time? What's he trying to say. Over his shoulder I could see Chongyun, who seemed to be heading in our direction and then caught sight of us. He looked a little conflicted, as if he couldn't make up his mind about something. Xingqiu noticed where I was looking and turned to the corresponding direction. But he said nothing when he saw our friend.

Is something going on? I must have missed something...?

He mumbled a soft "Hello" before walking on past us.

"Chongyun! Long time no hear from you.", I started delightedly. He turned to me and smiled. "Yeah..uh are you okay?" He brushed a strand of hair from his face. He'd been wearing his hair differently lately. You see, his hair is slicked back. He looked completely different in it. It reminded me of an idol I once saw on TV.

"Yeah. Is everything okay then?" I now looked back and forth at the two of them. The atmosphere now felt... weird. The two still weren't really making eye contact. "Don't worry about it." he said calmly.

"Xingqiu and I were going to go together. Don't you want to go with us? It would be really nice if we all did something like we used to..“

"Sorry, you know..." he scratched the back of his head. "Maybe some other time...?" he must be busy. No wonder, if he's going to take over the family shrine in the future.

"Chongyun, you could at least try too?", Xingqiu gave out and I could have sworn he sounded a little..annoyed?

"It's okay! You don't have to...", I quickly jumped in. "Maybe we'll have more time after graduation?" Chongyun looked at me in slight surprise and then unreadably at Xingqiu.

"So you didn't tell her?"

"Please..can someone tell me what's going on?", I now wanted to know. I was getting tired of this secrecy.

"(Name), Xingqiu is going to college overseas. That... has been certain for a very long time. He will most likely not come back."

I couldn't believe my ears. Immediately, I looked at Xingqiu. His eyes did not turn away from Chongyun. He looked so calm that it was impossible to predict what he was thinking.

This was the reason why Xingqiu was playing truant lately?

I couldn't even process what to think about it. That everyone was hiding something from me..that was mean. Very mean.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?", I whispered because I was getting hoarse. It was like there was a lump in my throat.

"I've wanted to..for a very long time." I remembered that something was then. When I visited him but he was interrupted by his servant.

"At first it was a little unclear...but recently it was confirmed to me! I wanted to tell you today." Xingqiu now looked at me. "I'm sorry from my heart, (name)."

I pressed my lips together and nodded. I should have seen it coming. Chongyun mumbled an apology.

In the end, Xingqiu accompanied me home. We didn't talk at all for a while. I still didn't want to believe it.

"How are we going to see each other again?", I whispered.

"I try to visit you very often. My family is still here."

"Will you write to me often then?"

"I'll write and call you every day. I'll figure something out."

"Do you really want to study overseas?" I immediately turned to him. Xingqiu looked at me a little surprised.

"I... have to..."

"I see." I wiped my eyes for a moment. It must be hard for him too. After all, he's leaving behind not only his friends, but family as well. The town where he lived out his memories. I couldn't be mad at him. I was just disappointed that I was only told now.

Xingqiu grabbed me by the arms. "I'll- just wait please..okay?"

"Okay..."

I wondered what he was up to.

It wasn't until he left that I couldn't hold back my tears.

"Xingqiu, your father would like to speak to you. He is in the office."

He could guess what it might be about.

Quietly, he entered his father's office. The latter sat in his chair and hung up the phone. Then he turned to his son with a look of disappointment.

"May I ask what you have been doing? I just found out that you didn't attend your preparation classes. Several times! Is that true?"

"Yes, it is true."

"And that why? Don't you know how embarrassing that was for me? Are you trying to embarrass your family and..."

Xingqiu only recalled his girlfriend's sad face.

"Yes." However, he didn't think about his words.

A very, very ugly sound arose.

The red spot on his cheek was glowing.

Masterlist

Part 7

#What were Xingqiu and reader up to at the stairwell?🧐#itsgettingsad #SADTIME #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #romance #fanfic #xingqiu x reader #chongyun #love #sad

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kuroo-shitsurou · 3 years

Text

Weekly Meal Prep (Yandere!Omi Fushimi)

note: this is my first attempt at working with the yandere theme so i don't really know if i did good or bad,,, but something about messed up omi just sends me straight to hell. hope you enjoy!

word count: 2.9k

Monday.

"This is so good! This has got to be one of my favorite curry dishes so far." You gushed, shoving another spoonful of the new curry in your mouth.

"Glad you liked it. The place had bad reviews, but I think it's just because normal people don't know how to appreciate the raw and concentrated flavor of curry." Chikage grinned as he looked at you endearingly

"Ugh," You scoffed, "Why can't people understand that the raw flavor of the spices are supposed to taste like this? I dislike the artificial flavors of watered down and manufactured spices because of how... fake it tastes in curry dishes." You were about to go on a full-on rant about how using real spices in curry dishes should be the only way to cook curry.

Chikage watched you with his emerald eyes, admiring how beautiful you looked when you talked about something that you were so passionate about. Yeah, sure, he disliked women, but being here with you made him realize that maybe the other gender wasn't all that bad. Actually, he still hated women; He just didn't hate you.

You weren't a woman. To him, you were a goddess.

"Thank you for taking me out, by the way." You suddenly spoke, breaking your rant about the whole curry ordeal. "You didn't have to, but you did. I appreciate that a lot, Chikage."

His lips curled up in a warm smile.

"Don't mention it, director."

After you two finished your meals, you had to go back to the dorm immediately to hold several meetings with the troupes regarding their next projects. As Chikage held the door open for you, his eyes darted back inside the bustling restaurant.

"Hm? Is something wrong, Chikage?"

Again, he smiled at you, but it was more strained than the last.

"Of course not. Let's go home, shall we?"

Tuesday.

"Oi, careful." Juza wrapped an arm around you and pulled you closer to him. A motorcycle was speeding by and it nearly hit you, but thankfully, Juza saw it before it impacted. "Tsk, careless drivers piss me off. Stand here." He then guided you to walk inside of the sidewalk.

"Oh crap, I didn't see that. Thank you, Juza! You're so nice." Juza blushed at your kind words, but he shook his head to rid of the thoughts.

"'S nothin."

"Hey, look at that! They're selling a new flavor of crepes! Come on, let's check it out!" You grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him over to your favorite crepe place. They didn't have a line yet, which was good, because you were able to purchase the new crepes for you and Juza.

"Here!" You grinned at him, handing him one of the crepes

"Lemme pay for them."

"Nonsense!" You gently pushed the crepe further into his hand, and his mind went wild when your fingers brushed his skin. "Consider this a thank you gift because you saved me earlier."

He took the crepe hesitantly, and muttered a quiet "Thanks." before he bit into it.

His face lit up immediately.

"'S sweet. I like it."

"Marshmallow crepes. Genius! We should bring one home for Hisoka. I'm sure he'd love this!"

Juza smiled. He adored how you were always considerate and thoughtful of other people even when you weren't physically with them. It's one of the many things that he loved about you.

Suddenly, he felt a shiver down his spine. He looked around, but was suddenly distracted when you were spilling the cream all over yourself.

"Crap!"

"Oi, tissue!"

He handed you a few tissues so you could wipe your shirt, and you had to admit that was a little mortifying to be that clumsy in front of the younger male.

"Thank you for being so reliable, Juza. Makes me feel

As you were mindlessly walking home, Juza couldn't help but think to himself why that motorcycle looked so damn familiar.

Wednesday.

"Come on, director-chan! I promise you, it tastes good!"

"Kazu, I am legitimately going to HURT you."

"No you're not! That's so mean!" Kazunari wept crocodile tears.

"Come on, director-chan! It's just a bite!"

"Kumon, I'm going to die. If I don't make it, tell everyone in Mankai that I love them and that I always treated them as my own family."

"Director-chan, you aren't going to die here." Kumon sweat dropped.

"No, I've accepted my fate. If this is what I must do for love, then at least I'll go out knowing that I did it for you boys.

"Director-chan, it's just a salad. You don't have to be so dramatic about it!"

"It's a death trap! I know you boys want to kill me so you can always get free time!"

"If anything, we're concerned about you health! That's why we want you to eat this!" Kazunari made sure that the fork had greens, kani, and a mishmash of everything before he held it in front of your mouth. "Here, say ah!"

You wanted to throw up. Vegetables. Disgusting.

"This store sells the best kani salad! You have to try it, I promise you'll like it!" Kumon looked at you with big doe eyes and you sighed in defeat.

You leaned forward to eat the portion on the fork and Kazunari blushed because he realized that he was feeding you. It was an adorable sight, and maybe peer pressuring someone into eating healthy food could be an addition to his growing list of love advice.

You blinked. "It's... actually pretty good."

"Right?!" Kumon beamed before giving the restaurant owner a thumbs up.

"Here, director-chan!" Kazunari filled the fork again, "Say ah!"

Your face bloomed red and you snatched the fork from his hand, "I can feed myself just fine, Kazu!"

"You really are the cutest!"

"I wanna feed you too, director-chan!"

Kazunari watched as Kumon bothered you while you ate the rest of the salad. It was off-putting how there seemed to be a cold atmosphere in the room. He looked around to see that there were just a few customers sitting in the dining area. His eyes landed on a hooded figure who was sitting in a lone booth in the corner of the room. The figure had his face hidden behind a menu, but there was something about the person that reminded Kazu of a certain brunette that they loved in Mankai.

Maybe that was just coincidence.

After all, there were a lot of brunettes in Japan.

Right?

Thursday.

"It's odd for you two to take me out for Chinese." You stated. Your eyes were scanning the menu of the new Chinese place that opened just a few blocks away from the Mankai dormitory.

"Tsumugi found out about the egg drop soup because apparently it's famous outside of Veludo Way. He was insistent that we take you to try it." Tasuku replied, eyeing how excited Tsumugi looked.

"I've heard great reviews about the egg drop soup and I've been dying to try it." Tsumugi's usually calm and gentle tone of voice was laced with a child-like glee, and it took all of your willpower not to reach over the table so that you can pinch his cheeks.

"He already ordered individual soups for us, but if you want anything else off the menu, go ahead and order it as well." Tasuku won't admit it aloud, but he liked spending time with you and Tsumugi. Being with his bestfriend and his favorite director made him feel a sense of comfort that just made him feel all warm and gooey inside. He felt at home with you two and he wouldn't exchange that feeling for the world.

"It's refreshing to be with you two, especially since it's a lot calmer whenever Tasuku isn't at your throat, Tsumugi." You giggled, ignoring the deadpan look that the athletic male beside you was giving you.

"I'm glad you feel that way, director-san." Tsumugi chimed, smiling. He took your hand a placed a gentle kiss on the back of it. "Spend some more time with us, alright?"

Your face immediately felt hot and you pulled your hand back to save yourself from being more embarrassed than you already were.

"Is it just me, or does it feel like we're being watched?" Tasuku murmured as his eyes quickly scouted the room. Ever since you entered the restaurant, Tasuku already had this instinct in his guts screaming that there was someone watching you. Not just you in particular, but the three of you. You heard him speak, but what he said was unclear.

"Sorry, did you say something, Tasuku?"

"Oh, I was just mumbling. Don't worry about it.

"Three orders of egg drop soup. Can I help you with anything else?"

"No, thank you!"

"Enjoy your meal!"

Tsumugi immediately began to eat his soup even though it was still hot. His face melted into pure bliss as he felt the delicious components sliding down his throat.

"It's so good." He commented, masking his elation.

"It really is!" You added, taking quick slurps from your spoon. The soup itself tasted rich in flavor; It wasn't too runny, nor was it too starchy.

"It tastes okay to me."

"That's so disrespectful, Tasuku." You jokingly said with a mocking tone. "This soup legitimately changed my life. I wish I could have it everyday, along with curry."

"You somehow managed to sneak curry into the conversation again, huh?" He sighed, smiling at the way you laughed afterward.

Tasuku continued to consume his soup while observing how you and Tsumugi were practically worshipping the soup. He decided to ignore the eerie feeling building in the pit of his stomach gnawing at him alive.

Maybe it was just the soup.

Friday.

"Hurry up. We don't have all day."

"Gee, you don't have to be so mean about it!"

"I told you to make it quick. We have to get back in town because we have another meeting to attend to."

You and Sakyo just got out of a business meeting outside of Veludo Way. It was regarding a sponsorship for the Autumn Troupe's next play. Sakyo, the greatest cheapskate and money-pinching Sakyo, was more than willing to accompany you to the next town over if it meant saving the company tens of thousands worth of yen. As long as it involved finances, the blond always needed to be a part of it.

"I know that, but we need to grab lunch before we head to the next meeting. It's bad to miss out on meals, you know! Come on, we'll just grab something from this store and rush back to Veludo Way."

Sakyo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, but you did have a point. He was also feeling the hunger starting to rise inside of him. It was already lunchtime by the time you guys finished with the first meeting of the day, and he didn't really have a proper breakfast earlier.

You walked into this quaint little restaurant on the side of the road owned by a lovely old couple.

"Good afternoon, may I help you with anything?" The old lady asked warmly.

You felt your heart soften, "Is it possible to get two yakiniku bento boxes to go?"

She smiled, "Of course, dearie. They'll be right out."

"She seems nice!" You whispered to Sakyo, who was sitting across from you.

"She reminds me of you."

"Eh? Don't tell me I'm already aging! I don't wanna be like you yet!"

"I can and will leave you here."

"Eh, but seriously, how?"

Sakyo sighed exasperatedly. "She... sounds nice. Lovely, even. She just has a nice smile and it reminds me of how nice you are when you talk to other people."

"S-Sakyo, is that really you? Who are you? Are you an alien? How are you being so honest right now?"

"I'm going back to Veludo Way without you.

"Hey, I'm kidding!" You pouted.

"Two yakiniku bento boxes to go?" An old man, presumably the husband of the lady they talked to, walked over to you two and handed you the bag of bento boxes.

"Ah, thank you!" You bowed before taking the bag from his hands. You took your wallet out to pay, but Sakyo already left money in the box where you put your payment.

"Hey, I can-"

"Consider it my treat. You'll be working hard today, after all." For a brief second, he gave you a warm smile. However, it was quickly replaced by his usual scowl. "Now hurry up and let's go."

"Geez, I was just about to call you cute as well!

"I am not cute, _____."

As you two were walking out of the restaurant, the old couple gave you a fond smile.

"We were like that too when we were younger."

"Mhm. They look good together, don't you think?"

When you got back to the car, you began to snack on the onigiri part of your bento. You didn't notice how Sakyo's eyes were glaring daggers into the figure who was idly sitting on his motorcycle just a good few meters away from the car.

The figure was wearing a denim jacket and a black helmet, but he could see a few tufts of brown hair sticking out from above the nape of his neck.

His hand grasped the steering wheel in a tight grip until his knuckles turned pale. What was he feeling? Anxiety? Hostility?

The sensation of being... followed?

His mind was racing at the thought, but he decided to rid the negativity filling his consciousness to the brim.

"Sakyo, here's your onigiri." Your voice snapped him out of his daze, and he shot you a small smile.

"Thanks. Let's head back to town now."

"Mhm!"

Seeing the pure innocence, joy, and trust in your smile made him content. He wanted to protect you and your smile forever.

If only he could.

Saturday.

You woke up earlier than usual because you promised Itaru that you'd go with him to the game store down the street since today was the release day of the new game he'd been itching to buy.

You sat up to stretch and noticed that Omi was in your room.

"Gah!" You gasped, pulling the sheets up to cover yourself. "Omi?!"

He gave you a warm smile, "Oh, good morning! You're finally up. Sorry for barging in like this, I just wanted to call you over for breakfast."

"Th-Thanks for waking me up but um, do you mind? I'm still kinda in my nightwear." You blushed, knowing that your bra was still unhooked.

Omi's eyes darkened for a brief moment, but it was gone as soon as he blinked. It was replaced by the usual hazel eyes that gave you the warmest and kindest looks.

"I'm sorry! I'll be waiting for you outside." He then left your room, shutting the door behind him without making a sound.

"Jeez, Omi." You muttered to yourself. You quickly hooked your bra together then changed into a more decent t-shirt, appropriate enough for the other boys in the company to see you without being flustered or bewildered out of their minds. Seriously, Azami acts as if he's never seen a girl's shoulders before, what's up with that?

You tied your hair in a ponytail and went out of your room to head over to the kitchen where a bunch of familiar platters were waiting for you.

"Oh, wow, isn't this quite a... variety for breakfast?" You spoke, careful with your words. You always appreciated Omi for making food for the company, but the dishes he served this particular Saturday morning seemed like a mishmash of different food combinations and you just couldn't put your finger on why the food looked and smelled so familiar to you.

"Dig in, my dearest director." He replied, with his back facing you. It seemed as though he was still preparing something by the sink.

You took a seat and viewed the selection he prepared for breakfast.

Curry. Delicious, by the way.

Yakiniku.

Kani Salad.

Egg drop soup.

Crepes.

"Hey, didn't I..." You whispered to yourself, finally realizing that the meals he prepared for you were all meals you've eaten that week.

How did he know? Did the guys tell him about it?

"Well? Aren't you going to eat? You've been enjoying these all week, why not relive the moments one more time? I made sure to prepare them just the way you like them, after all." Omi's voice was laced with something... unknown. Was it possessiveness? He didn't sound like the warm and loving Omi you knew and love.

This Omi was... dangerous. He was terrifying. His back was still facing you, but you could feel a threatening aura from his broad shoulders because of how they looked so stiff.

He turned around and you froze upon seeing his half-lidded eyes. There was a crazed look in his pupils, something that reeked of want, lust, and obsession.

"You had curry with Chikage on Monday. Marshmallow crepes with Juza on Tuesday. Kani Salad with Kumon and Kazunari on Wednesday. Egg drop soup with Tsumugi and Tasuku on Thursday. Then you had a yakiniku bento box with Sakyo yesterday, right?"

Your eyes widened. The boys were pretty aware of the places you went to and who you went there with, but how in the world did Omi know everything?

"Don't worry about it. You don't have to go out with them anymore. I'm the only one who gets to cook for you from now on, okay?" Omi took steps closer to you. You wanted to scream, to run out of the room, to call for help from anyone, but you felt as if you were paralyzed with fear.

This wasn't Omi anymore.

He stopped when he was directly in front of you from across the table, and you could see his thin lips twist into a sadistic smile.

"Dig in, my precious director."

#omi fushimi #a3! game #a3! fanfic #a3! x reader #a3! omi #fushimi omi #yandere #lmao please ruin me omi sir

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