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strniohoeee · 4 months

Note

matt and reader are bffs secretely in love and as usual they go on car rides in LA and they stop on a hill bc reader wants him to take photos of her since it's golden hour and he just falls more in love seeing how beautiful she is and he can't help himself when he surprises her by kissing her and then they go home and have sweet loving sex and it's also her first time doing it

Inamorata

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Matt and the reader head to a hilltop that overlooks LA. Suddenly words and looks are exchanged, and some events take place that weren’t on their agenda🌅

Warnings⚠️: Smutttt, it’s cutesy though.🥺 I actually really liked writing this one 🤭

Song for the imagine: Like You’ll Never See Me Again-Alicia Keys

⚠️This is an 18+imagine, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

Everytime you kiss me

Kiss me like you’ll never see me again

Everytime you touch me

Touch me like this is the last time

Promise that you’ll love me

Love me like you’ll never see me again

“What do you mean?” I asked Matt looking over at him

“I just mean that it’s dumb for you to try and get the attention of a guy who clearly doesn’t care for you, come on Y/N he’s made it very clear he doesn’t want anything to do with you” Matt says merging onto the freeway

“Wow Matt” I said jaw falling slack as I glare at him

“Listen, I'm not trying to be mean at all. You are giving all your energy to a guy who just wants to use you and then discard you” he said looking over at me

“Use me?” I asked confused

“He just wants sex, and I know you want a relationship with the kid. He clearly doesn’t at all. I mean look at the way he acts when you turn down his advances. He doesn’t care about your feelings” he replied

“Oh” was all I could say

“I mean not that it’s any of my business, but hey if you just want casual sex then go for it, but don’t expect him to turn around and buy you flowers and offer you the world; because he won’t” be said back

“I mean I don’t just want a fuck buddy I want a relationship, but how do you know this anyways?” I asked him

“Well for one I’m a guy, and I’m not like that at all, but I’ve been friends with guys who are like that. And two I’ve been in that predicament myself. Girls who just want sex and then leave me stranded. Not the biggest fan of that” he said to me

“I guess you’re right, thank you Matt for always listening to my stupid boy problems and helping me see how shitty these guys are” I said to him turning my head to the right and looking out the window

“Of course Y/N I’m always here for you” he said to me

I looked over and smiled at him before leaning my head against the window as I looked out the window again.

“I just wish I could find that special someone. I’m always let down” I said shutting my eyes

Matt looked over at the girl, giving her a once over with a sad look in his eyes. Oh how badly he wanted her to look at him, no! Not look at him, but to see him.

“Yeah I get you, you never know he might be a lot closer than you think” Matt replied

“I sure hope so” I replied

Matt kept driving, and I was wondering where we were going because we never spoke of a destination.

“Hey where are we headed to?” I asked looking over at Matt

“I’m thinking of that hilltop on Sycamore grove. It’s beautiful at this time of day. It would make for some nice pictures, and some good talks” he said chuckling a bit

“Ohh I’ve never been there, but it looks so gorgeous I can’t wait” I said smiling at him

We kept driving for another 20 minutes before we pulled up to the hilltop. Not a single care in sight, and the view was amazing.

It overlooked a small part of LA, and with the sun slowly getting ready to set it casted a beautiful golden glow against the trees and the ground. The temperature was just right too. Not too cold and not too hot, just perfect.

“Holy shit this is beautiful” I said shutting the car door

“Isn’t it. It could make a grown man cry” he said laughing

“I’m sure it could” I said laughing back

“Let’s take some pictures” Matt offered

“I’d like that” I replied

Matt and I had taken pictures of the scenery, and some still shots of each other. Man I never realized how blue his eyes were until the sun hit them and made them sparkle.

I took the picture of him and slowly slid the camera down just staring at Matt. I mean I’ve seen Matt hundreds of times before, but I’m just now seeing him. And it made my heart flutter…..

“Is something wrong?” He asked getting confused

“Oh no sorry, I just never realized how blue your eyes were” I said smiling at him

“Really?” He said chuckling

“I mean when the sun hits them they really light up. It’s awesome actually” I said smiling at him

We took some more pictures of each other, and Matt actually took a lot of off guards of me that I hated, but he swore they looked amazing.

The sun was setting a bit more now, and Matt and I decided to sit at the edge of the hilltop. A bit scary, but I tried to face my fear of heights

“So talk to me Matt” I said bumping his shoulder with mine

“I’ve been talking to you” he said furrowing his brows

“No, tell me more. I feel like you’re so reserved now a days” I replied

“Reserved?” He said laughing a bit

“I don’t know, you just are super quiet. I get like a few good sentences out of you, and then just one word answers what’s on your mind?” I said to him

“I mean nothing really. I’m just in my own head a lot of the times” he replied

“Care to share?” I asked

“Ehh it’s nothing important” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Well that’s alright, I’m all ears though” I said nodding at him

A few minutes went by or silence. Just listening to the breeze ruffle through the trees as we watched the busy LA traffic beneath us. I could get used to this, sitting in silence with Matt and watching a sunset. It was calming

“That breeze feels so good” I said out loud shutting my eyes as the wind brushed through my hair

“It does doesn’t it” he responded

“I love when I get hit with a breeze because everything just stops for a moment and that’s all you feel” I said taking a breath in

“And all you can hear is your heartbeat” he said

“Yeah…..it makes you want to cry it feels so good” I replied looking over at him

“Do you ever cry?” Matt randomly blurted out causing me to look over at him

“Sometimes, do you?” I said in a whisper looking over at the sunset

“Yeah” he said in a soft whisper

“What do you cry about?” I asked giving him a soft smile

“Shit…I cry so much sometimes I feel like I’m gonna turn into drops”he replied looking down and swallowing thickly (IFYKYK)

“I get that, tell me more” I said in a whisper

Matt looked over at me with glossy eyes and licked his lips

“I just cry about it all. Where I’m at right now, who I’m surrounded with. All the troubles I went through to get to where I’m at. It makes me emotional” he said blinking his tears away

“Wow Matt, that was beautiful” I said wiping his eye with my thumb as he looked at me

“I cry about the beauty of life” he said chuckling

“That was embarrassing right” he said shaking his head

“No, it wasn’t. I understand you Matt. I see you” I replied looking into his eyes

Suddenly Matt leaned into me, connecting our lips. At first I was shocked. I mean never in a million years did I think this is where we would end up. Kissing on a hilltop, but I loved it. I kissed back, my hand caressing his cheek.

Our lips connect like two puzzle pieces that have been lost. I pulled away, breathing heavy as I looked into Matt’s eyes

“I’m sorry” he said blinking

“Don’t be Matt, I enjoyed it” I said before leaning in and picking his lips again

“The suns set, I think we should head back” he said

“Yeah” I said nodding my head

Math helped me off the ground and we got back in the car. A 30 minute drive filled with music, talking and the occasional silence. Every moment playing in my head from our previous interaction.

Truly fighting with my mind if it was Matt all along, and I’ve just been ignoring these feelings. My mind started to race with many thoughts.

We pulled up to the house and noticed that Nick and Chris were gone. This made me a bit anxious as to where things could lead to, but Matt wasn’t like that, so I felt better.

We headed to his room and just sat on his bed talking. This slight bit of awkwardness in the air that we were north desperately trying to ignore.

“I ummm I’ve been meaning to tell you how I feel, but I was so scared you didn’t feel the same way” Matt said looking over at me

“It never occurred to me that I could like you, but when you kissed me everything just felt complete. Like you were my missing piece all along” I replied back to him

Matt leaned over and kissed me again, soon becoming a heated make out session. Something I wasn’t prepared for, but was giving it my all. Our teeth clashing together as our tongues fought for dominance. It was such a heated and needy kiss, and it made my knees weak

He leaned us back as he was now hovering over me, his right hand running up the side of my left thigh. As his kisses went from my jawline to my neck as I let out little whimpers.

His right hand slowly kneading my hip bone. When suddenly Pulled away…this was getting too much for me

“Umm wait wait” I said pulling back

“I’m sorry I’m sorry” he said pulling back

“No it’s okay” I said shaking my head

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, and I wasn’t trying to force sex on you. I was just simply wanting to kiss you” he said giving me a once over

“No it’s okay Matt. I just ummm I’ve never done this before” I said avoiding eye contact

“What making out?” He said giggling

“Umm no like having sex or taking part in any sexual like acts other than kissing” I said to him

“Oh that’s okay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, okay?” He said smiling

“Okay” I whispered out

“But I do want to keep kissing you” I blurted out biting my lip

Matt smirked at me, and leaned back down reconnecting our lips. His kisses moved to my neck and back up to my lips. I know I said I only wanted to kiss him, but my body was burning with desire for him.

My lower stomach flips every time he lays a kiss on my neck, and my core throbbing and dripping for him. God why was he having such an effect on me.

“Matt” I said in a whisper

“Yes?” He replied back

“What if, what if I want to do more?” I asked looking into his eyes

“Then we can do more, but don’t feel pressured, okay? I can wait” he said running his hand through my hair

“You can wait, but I can’t….I need you like badly” I said breathing heavily

“Yeah okay okay” he said in a whisper

Matt had kissed down to my neck. Leaving light kisses that were making me burn up inside.

He leaned back and pulled his shirt off, so I pulled mine off as well.

“Can I…can I take my bra off?” I asked Matt

“Baby you can do whatever you want” Hs said licking his lips

I started to blush as I removed my bra . Never allowing a man to see me this way causing me to get a little shy

“Don’t get shy on me pretty girl” he said giving me a smile

Matt had started to kiss my neck, and slowly went down to my breast. Massaging both breasts before taking one into his mouth.

“Oh Matt” I said in a whisper as my eyes fluttered shut

He then went down to the valley of my breast, and started to kiss leaving sloppy kisses on my stomach. I was aching for his touch.

“Can I take your pants off?” He asked, and I nodded

He started to take my pants off as I lifted up a little for him to get them fully off.

He looked at me with a small smile before sliding his jeans off as well. Tossing them somewhere behind him.

Matt came down to lay next to me kissing my cheek.

“Okay baby. I have to stretch you out” he said. I turned my head towards him and nodded

Slowly he trailed his hand down to my underwear. Slightly dipping his hand in to massage my pelvic area before completely sticking his hand down to my aching cunt

“Can you open your legs a bit more?” He asked, looking up at me. I nodded and opened my legs more

“Good girl” he said, kissing me, and then he slid his hand all the way down coating his fingers in my arousal before bringing them back up to massage my clit

I just gasped and opened my mouth as I looked down at Matt’s hand. My own hands fistinf the sheets beneath me.

“Feeling okay?” He asked

“I feel so good Matt” I told him licking my now dry lips

“Has anyone ever done this to you?” He asked in a whisper his blue eyes piercing into the side of my face as I continued to stare down at his hand in my panties

“No….only myself” I said in a gasp licking my lips again

Math started to rub my clit in circular motions. Allowing me to squirm and moan at this foreign feeling.

“Okay baby this may hurt” he said before sinking his middle finger into my entrance.

This was a burning stretch I’ve never felt before, causing my eyes to shut and my brows to furrow

“Ow Matt” I said finally opening my eyes

“Too much? I can stop” he said reading my face

“No no keep going” I told him, and so he did. He slowly started to rock his fingers in and out curving them up to hit my G spot

“Oh fuck” I moaned out

“That feels so fucking good” I said as he started to rub my clit with his thumb

All that could be heard was the wet sounds of my cunt taking his finger and my moans and heaving breathing.

“Oh Matt….I've never felt something like this” I told him as my mouth fell open

“Does it feel good?” He asked

“So fucking good” I said whispering the last part

“Alright my love, I think you’re all stretched out for me” he said removing his fingers from me

“Okay” I let out in a careless whisper

Matt removed his boxers allowing his cock to spring up. My eyes immediately lit up. God he was hung, and I was burning with desire

“This will hurt, so I’m going to go slow, and if it’s too much I’ll stop” he said

“Okay baby” I whispered to him

Matt had both arms on either side of my head and was looking into my eyes

“Ready?” He asked one more time

“Yes Matt I’m ready” I told him

Matt lined himself up with my entrance and slowly slid in. My mouth dropped as my eyes screwed shut. I thought his finger was painful….this was hurting like hell

“Fuck Matt that hurts” I said gripping his left arm with my right hand

“Want me to stop?” He asked

“No keep going…..just slower” I told him

He slowly started to insert himself into me further. He soon bottomed out, and the feeling of his dick inside me made my stomach churn. He was made for me.

“So perfect,” he said, moving my hair out of my face. Matt was allowing me to relax around him and get used to the stretch before moving.

“You can move” I told him, and so he did.

Slowly he rocked his hips back and forth allowing the burning stretch to subside.

He was letting out little moans and grunts that were making me so wet.

“Fuck Matt you sound so hot” I moaned out gripping the back of his head

Slowly Matt started to pick up his pace. Sliding in and out of me in such a delicious way

“Fuck Matt you can go a little faster” I told him

Matt started to thrust into me a little faster and I was completely losing my mind. Never in my life did I think sex with a man would feel this good, but Matt wasn’t just any man; so it made sense

“Matt this feels so good” I said moaning out as my toes curled

“You feel so fucking good around me” he said moaning the last part

Matt leaned down more allowing our chests to touch. This intimate action made my walls clench around him. I never wanted this moment to end.

Matt continued to thrust into me, becoming a sweaty and groaning mess above me. Pulling him down more to leave kisses on his neck as he groaned into my ear.

He slowly snaked his hand down to my clit, and began to rub. My body convulsing against him

“OH MY GOD” I moaned out at the intense sensation I was feeling

“You okay doll?” He asked looking at me

“FUCK YES keep going. Fuck Matt I think I’m going to cum” I told him as I started to clench on his cock causing him to moan

Matt was fucking into me at a good pace, his thumb rubbing my clit harder as he chased his own orgasm.

“Matt Matt Matt” I said scratching his back and clenching down on him harder

“Come on baby! You got this” he said rubbing his thumb faster

“I’m going to cum. Fuck fuck fuck” I said shutting my eyes and throwing my head back even more

“Come on. Come on give it to me” he said into my ear

“FUCKKKKK MATTT” I screamed out as I started to convulse and tremble. My orgasm completely washing over me. My vision clouded with flashes of colors, my hearing fading in and out, my thighs shaking as my back lifted off the bed.

I locked eyes with Matt as I came down from my high, my brows furrowed and my mouth hung open.

Matt pulled out of me and he started to pump his cock. Rolling his neck as he let out little moans and pants

“Fuck I’m gonna cum” he said kissing my lips

He pulled away and his lower abdomen started to contract as his mouth fell and his brows furrowed. He looked into my eyes as he came all over his hand and my lower stomach. Slowly coming down from his high and rolling onto his back next to me

“Matt that was amazing” I said looking over at him

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself pretty girl” he said looking over at me

“You were so gentle with me I appreciate it, and you allowed me to feel pleasure” I said rolling over to my side and kissing him on the cheek

“I’m all about giving. Plus watching you cum on my cock will forever be engraved in my mind. It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen” he said biting his lip

“Thank you Matt” I said laying a kiss on his lips

Matt ran a bubble bath for us, and we sat in the warm water washing each other as we laughed and talked about the events that had just taken place.

Who would’ve thought Matt and I were meant for each other.

I was his Inamorata.

The End

Alrightttt I’ve been MIA FOR DAYSSSS, and I’m sorry I just had no motivation. However I hope you enjoyed this story and especially hope the person who requested it enjoyed it! 🤭 LOVE YOU GUYSSS🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

#sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplet smut #matt sturniolo x reader smut #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo x reader smut #matthew sturniolo smut #smut

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ecoamerica · 23 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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hushroomloser · 2 months

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Chris Evans Short Story Part 8

Part 8

Pairing: ReaderxChrisEvans

Request: Meeeee

Prompt: “I’m sorry I thought you were somebody else”

Warning(s): I’m a first-time writer

Word count: 586

A/N: Hey online strangers, I wrote the first part a while back and have the rest of the story in my drive but have never posted it. This story I wrote way back in 2019 :'(. I will be posting at random times if you stay and read it thank you so much. Enjoy xoxox - I have no idea how many parts this story and technically I haven’t an ending yet.

The dreaded block has come and taken me. That and university seems to enjoy giving me some solid sucker-punches every few days. Alas like life I might have given up on this story and writing it altogether. I do not know who’s enjoying this mess of a story. Lol, anywho I will update once again in a blue moon and edit all of the parts to make them more coherent. Especially now that AI can write cry ... my unattainable dreams

Xoxo

From a tired girly

White, red and purple consumed the cafeteria, filled with residents, doctors and other health professionals. Rush hour had yet to peak, and yet it was slowly starting to fill up.

Maybe we shouldn’t have coffee here, he thought.

Chris roamed around the hospital to find the best spot to grab a quick drink. Unfamiliar with the place he had gotten lost a few times, asking strangers to the nearest exit every time.

“Hey, you’re that guy right.”

Dreading it, he hadn’t been recognized yet, mostly because everyone seemed busy. He did not mind taking a picture and talking with a fan but he did not want to be late for his date, especially since he hadn’t found a place to take her yet. He turned around, looking at the person who had called him.

“Hi, I think so.”

In his shyness, he managed to smile at the tall stranger wearing a lab coat. He took a quick glance at the name embroidered on his coat, the name was Doctor Gagnon.

“Are you looking for Lizzy, uhm Dr. Kelley by any chance?” Frowning his brows, he wondered how he knew this specific doctor. A little sad that maybe hospital gossip had been playing a major role in his interaction.

His anxiety had been slowly elevated when the stranger seemed to recognize the emotion on his face, feeling his uneasiness towards him he quickly said “I am her finance, if that helps, do not worry she hasn’t told anyone. I just know because she texted me about the girl that hit you at the coffee shop.” he giggled thinking about her hitting the Captain.

Chris did not know why he would giggle or if it was an inside joke or anything he was just surprised at how this stranger, this doctor had been so nonchalant about who he was. He had been used to people being starstruck, especially after playing Captain America.

He paused and looked at him, he was beautiful even for a straight man the guy he was staring at was a very beautiful man, the movies did not do him justice he thought.

“Do not worry”, he laughed

“I won’t tell anyone that I saw the Chris Evans''

“What are you looking for?” the gentle giant asked. He wondered if people got scared of him because of his demeanour and his height. He was a very imposing and confident man compared to him,

Chris did not know what to think, the giant seemed so nice. “Uhmm thank you, I was just looking for a private coffee shop in this honestly big hospital. “ he started to ramble, ·” How is this soooo big but looks soo small I feel like I am in a maze”, he told the stranger, he felt at ease for some reason telling him of his struggles. The strangers giggled and said, “Yeah I am still confused about it and I have been here for like 5 years it is a very strange place.”

“The coffee shop next to the parking lot at the end of the hallway should be private enough if you are bringing her there.” he smiled.

Chris wondered how he knew but he guessed that they were all friends. Chris smiled back, shyly not knowing what to say.

‘Thank you”, he said shyly, he was truly embarrassed that someone had figured out what he wanted to do. He did not know what to say or add he just stared at the stranger, a very handsome stranger to boot.

…..

#chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #short story #fanfic #writing #chris evans #creative writing

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ziracona · 1 year

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Apparently Anders fans are 'ignoring the fact that he's abusive', ergo we're abuse apologists. Guess some things never change even in 2022..

That’s so funny rofl. 10% of the time I hear complaints it’s for something he actually did, 50% of the time it’s for something objectively awesome he did that people are being fucking insane about, and 40% of the time it’s something like that that’s literally just made completely up. People will be crazy about ‘abuse’ trying to win some kind of Most Woke Stance of Inarguableness contest to win a totally different argument than the one they’re even having in fandom spaces like Twitter and tumble all the time now and it fills me with such rage. Can’t you just be normal and think??? Or have arbitrary opinions or be normal??? I. Like. One time I heard an Infinity Train fan go fucking wild for 8 paragraphs about Grace Monroe being manipulative and abusive in a scene for literally just putting her arm around someone and cheering them up bc she knew being nice and putting an arm around them would help cheer them up. Like bro idk how to explain to you that every time you do something knowing it’s likely to gain a result that’s not manipulation it’s called interacting in a world with other people while having the ability to rationally think & some desire for not negative constant social interaction and life outcomes for yourself and others. Manipulation is tricking and pushing and controlling someone into actions or feelings and shit, not when your friend sees your ice cream cone fell and you’re crying so they buy you another to make make you feel better.

#ask #anonymous #you just gotta let humans burn themselves out there alone and ignore them. they’re so fucking not worth it or anything at all but that’s #/really/ funny. I saw someone call him manipulative once for being upset if you dump him after having sex and being like ‘you used me for #sex and then immediately discarded me?’ bro idk how to explain to you that he’s right and it’s fucked to do that & also people expressing #their own emotional reactions to something and you not liking how you made them feel isn’t manipulation it’s called living people have #rich inner lives and thoughts and feelings you dotn #every fucking time someone appeals to emotion they’re not being a manipulative abuser. human connection is about appealing and explaining #and convincing and changing and understanding. you DO owe people you bond with some kind of decency and responsibility you careless fuck #Was Naruto abusing Sasuke when he showed up to try to save him and convince him he still loved him? 🤔#Uh oh ladies Bruce Wayne is abusing Harvey Dent trying to convince him it’s not who he is or what he wants to shoot an innocent person in #the head. Yikes fam turns out Josh Washington have a psychotic breakdown and feebly asking Mike not to hit him again is emotional abuse he’s #using their relationship to guilt him into an emotional response more at 8 #you people are fucking batshit 🤣😭

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maddrmatt · 2 years

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The Gift From Beyond (SoKai Week 2022)

New to this fanfic? Click here to properly begin!

Greetings readers and fellow SoKai fans! Thanks again for coming back for the final instalment of this year’s SoKai Week story.

After the bittersweetness of the last chapter, let’s end this story on a more positive note with a little interaction between the groom, the bride, and the best man.

Enjoy!

________________________________________________________________

Epilogue: Moving Forward

Radiant Garden

“Sora? Kairi?” came a concerned voice from the side.

As Kairi continued to cry, Sora turned in the direction it came from. He saw, dressed in a black suit, his best man from the wedding party standing nearby.

‘Guess we’re back on the plane of regular time now. Would have been nice if Joshua gave us a little warning when that would happen,’ thought Sora.

“Sora, what’s going on? What’s the matter with Kairi? Why is she crying?” Riku asked.

“Riku, as much as I’d like to answer your questions, I really can’t. Not now. All I can say is that Kairi’s working through something,” said Sora.

“Oh. Well then, do you want to me to…?” Riku asked, unsure of whether he should stay or go and come back later.

Sora, however, knew what his best friend should be doing at the moment. He gestured to Riku to come over to them.

“Get on in here. I think it would really help Kairi if both of us were here.”

Then Kairi’s voice, slightly muffled from being against Sora, said, “Riku, please.”

That settled it for Riku. He nodded and walked over to them. He wrapped his arms around both of his best friends, so Kairi was right in between them.

Feeling the presence of her other best friend, Kairi let out a small sigh of relief. “Thank you, Riku,” she whispered.

The trio stood holding each other as Kairi continued to weep. After quite some time had passed, her sobs finally silenced and the three of them separated.

“Feeling better now, Kai?” asked Sora.

Kairi wiped away some remaining tears from her face and mustered up a smile. “Much better. I am still a little sad, but I’ll be okay. Thank you both. I really needed that”

“You’re welcome, Kairi. Now I don’t mean to pry, but would you and Sora mind telling me what that was all about? I know people who just got married tend to cry a lot on the day. But that didn’t sound like the usual happy crying,” Riku said.

“It wasn’t, Riku. I just had to do something very difficult,” said Kairi.

Riku looked confused. “What do you mean? You only stepped out of the reception to watch the sunset a short while ago. What could have possibly happened?”

“More than you know, believe it or not,” said Sora.

“I don’t understand,” said Riku.

“Let’s go sit down and we’ll tell you everything,” said Kairi as she and Sora returned to where they had been sitting with Riku following.

________________________________________________________________

A short time passed as the groom and the bride told the best man about what had transpired in the garden earlier. As he listened attentively to their story, Riku’s eyes widened as he learned what his two best friends had gone through. Once the tale was finished, he stared at them in amazement.

“Wow. I can’t believe Joshua did that. Bringing Kairi’s grandmother and birth parents from the afterlife to visit you. It sounds like it was quite a gift,” said Riku.

“It certainly was,” said Sora.

“I wish I could’ve met them myself,” said Riku.

“They would’ve liked to meet you too, Riku. We told them all about all the friends closest to us and how they all played a part in our lives especially you,” said Kairi.

Riku suddenly looked worried. “Um did you by any chance tell them about my not so good moments? Like when I gave into the darkness?”

Sora rubbed the back of his head. “Um yes, we did. They did tell us not to hold back on telling the bad stuff about our lives and unfortunately, the time when we were at each other’s throats did come up.”

“But it’s not like you were the only one of our friends who made mistakes that we mentioned to them. We also told them about Terra, Axel, Yozora and plenty of others,” said Kairi.

Riku scoffed. “Mistakes is a bit of an understatement, don’t you think?”

“Well, yes, it is. They were pretty shocked when we told them. But we also explained why we forgave everyone, how they made up for their wrongdoings and why nothing should be held against anyone,” said Kairi.

Sora smiled. “And in your case, they were very impressed by how you got off that dark path and back into the light and how since then, you’ve done all you can to watch out for us.”

“They said we were lucky to have such a devoted friend like you,” said Kairi.

Riku smiled. “Well, that’s good to hear. Thank you for telling them that. They sound like they were pretty good people.”

Kairi’s face sightly fell. “They were incredible. Which made saying goodbye to them so much harder.”

Riku placed a hand on Kairi’s shoulder. “Well, for what it’s worth, Kairi, at least this time you actually got to say goodbye to them.”

“Riku’s right. That’s a chance nobody usually gets,” said Sora.

Kairi sighed before her smile returned. “I know. And though I’m going to miss them even more now, since I got this chance to know them as well as learning more about Grandma, I know that they’re always with me in a way. As long as I hold them in here,” said Kairi gesturing to her heart.

“That’s the spirit, Kairi,” said Riku happily.

“No matter what, I’m going to look back on this night with fond memories,” said the Princess of Heart.

Sora then sighed. “So, will I, Kairi. Although, I wish I had my Gummi Phone with me so we could have taken some pictures. I know you would’ve loved to have a picture of you dancing with your father. Maybe we could’ve even done a kind of family portrait, so you’d have something to remember them by.”

“Thanks, Sora. That would have been nice, but I wouldn’t really need it. The memories of our visit will always exist in my heart. While physical proof like photographs do make remembering easier, I believe by making the extra effort to remember without them makes memories all the more valuable. I mean, we didn’t have photographs of everything from our childhood and some memories may have been lost along the way. But the most important ones are the ones you make the effort to never forget,” stated the Princess of Heart.

“That’s a very lovely thought, Kairi,” said Riku.

“Thanks, Riku.”

Kairi then looked over to her husband. To her surprise, Sora looked like he wanted to say something, but he was hesitating to do so.

“Something on your mind, Sora?” she asked

“Actually, yes. It’s kind of been on my mind throughout the visit. Kairi, would you mind if I ask you something?”

Kairi looked surprised. “Of course, you can, Sora. But why the hesitation?”

“Well, it is kind of personal and if you’re not comfortable answering, you don’t have to,” said Sora.

Kairi gave a look of shock before smiling gently at her husband. “Sora, I am your wife now. You should know you can always ask me anything. So, out with it.”

Sora calmed down. “All right. Here it goes. Kairi, have you ever wondered what your life would’ve been like if you never left Radiant Garden and came to Islands?”

Kairi didn’t say answer immediately. Instead, she rose up from the bench and walked a short distance ahead. She looked in front of her at the sight of the town that had once been her home a long time ago.

“Well Sora, I told you long ago, where I came from originally didn’t really matter that much to me since I was happy on the Islands. But if I’m being honest, the thought of how different my life would’ve been had crossed my mind. Especially now, after learning more about my roots in this world tonight, I can’t help but think about how different it would have been if certain things had or hadn’t happened,” said Kairi not turning to face her friends.

“Like if your parents never died?” asked Sora.

“Or if Xehanort had never sent you away from here?” asked Riku.

Kairi nodded. “Yes. If those things never happened, maybe I would’ve just grown up like any other child in this world. I probably would’ve continued to be friends with Aerith and maybe even became friends with the others who live here like Leon, Yuffie, Axel and Isa. I might’ve even pursued a career like my parents’ or maybe even became one of Ansem’s apprentices. Who really knows what would have happened?”

The Princess of Heart then turned around with a smile on her face. “But if I had continued to live here, I would’ve missed out on so many wonderful things. I never would’ve known the love of my adoptive parents, a couple of wonderful people who opened their hearts and their home to a lost, little girl with no memory other than her own name. I also never would’ve known the many friends I made on the Islands like Selphie, who will always be my best gal pal.”

Kairi then looked to Riku. “And especially I never would’ve met you, Riku, the best friend who became the older brother I never knew I needed,” she said to him causing a smile to appear on his face.

Then she turned to Sora with a look of absolute love in her eyes. “But most of all, I never would have met the boy who would become the one person I love more than anything in all the worlds. And that’s why I wouldn’t change a single thing about the life I did live.”

Sora looked absolutely touched by his wife’s words. “That’s so beautiful, Kai. Just like you.”

Kairi blushed. “Oh, Sora! Stop it!” she said between giggles.

Riku then piped up. “Well, Kairi, while I believe you’re right for the most part, I’m afraid I have to disagree with you on certain things.”

Sora and Kairi looked at Riku with surprise. “What do you mean, Riku?” asked Kairi.

Riku then smiled at his two best friends. “I believe that hearts that are meant to connect will always find each other. Even if we had lived in separate worlds, I believe that, one way or another, all our paths would’ve crossed, and we would’ve become friends no matter what. And you and Sora were always meant to find each other and fall in love because that was always your destiny.”

Kairi smiled. “Thank you, Riku. I really think you might be right about.”

“Since when did you get so wise, Riku?” Sora asked teasingly.

“What are you talking about? I’ve always been the wise one in our group,” Riku shot back.

“Wise guy is more like it,” said Sora.

“Hey!”

Kairi had to laugh at the exchange between her husband and her brother figure. ‘Sora and I may be married now. But some things never change.’

“Well, I think it’s time that a certain bride and groom returned to their wedding reception,” said Riku.

Sora and Kairi gasped in surprise. They turned to the ballroom and finally noticed that everything was moving again, and the sounds of the multitude of guests had resumed.

Sora laughed. “We spent so much time with Kairi’s family on that plane of slower time that we almost forgot it was still going on!”

Kairi laughed along with him. “It certainly wouldn’t look good for a newly married couple to forget that little detail.”

“There are still some things at the reception that require you two to be present. That’s why I came to find you. In fact, many are clamoring for you do the bouquet toss, Kairi,” said Riku.

Sora’s eye lit up with a mischievous gleam. “Oh, right! That’s still on the agenda. After all, we’ve got to find out who might be getting married next.”

He then turned to his wife. “So, Kairi, have you decided whose hands your bouquet is just going to ‘happen’ to land in?” he asked with a playful smile on his face.

Kairi gave a matching grin of her own. “Oh yes. I know exactly who’s just going to ‘happen’ to catch it.”

Riku was shocked. “You’re planning to throw it directly to someone? Who?”

Then a thought came to him. “Wait a minute. Are you planning on throwing it to…?” he began to ask before Kairi interrupted.

“Maybe. Maybe not. All you need to know, Riku, is that my bouquet is going to one half of a couple who deserves the same kind of happiness that Sora and I have. And that is all I’m going to say on the matter,” Kairi said matter-of-factly.

Sora chuckled. “So, you might as well give up, Riku. You know once Kairi’s made up her mind about something, there’s no stopping her.”

Riku smirked. “Well, if that’s the case, then you’re certainly doomed since you’re the one married to her.”

“He’s right about that, Sora. You know that’s how I roll.”

As Kairi and Riku laughed, Sora folded his arms and pouted. “I thought marriage was all about compromise,” he muttered.

Kairi continued to laugh as she sauntered up to her husband and linked her arm with his. “Take it easy, Sora. You know we’re only teasing. Trust me, everything we do from now on, we do as a team like any good marriage.”

Sora’s smile returned. “On that, we most certainly agree, my wife.”

Riku sighed. “Come on, you two newlyweds. Let’s get you back to the reception.”

“Very well. Lead the way, best man,” said Sora.

Riku nodded and then walked ahead. Sora and Kairi followed close behind arm-in-arm.

“So, still our newest happiest day?” Sora asked to which Kairi responded by giving him a peck on the cheek. “I take it that’s a yes?”

“You know it, my husband. For now, anyway. It’ll be tough to beat like the last one but maybe someday, a different day will take that title. And I can’t wait to find out what it is together,” said Kairi.

Sora chuckled. “Me too, Dearly Beloved. Me too.”

Riku, having overheard the exchange, shook his head with amusement. ‘You two are definitely going give a whole new meaning to the words, ‘happily married’.’

Then a tender smile came to his face. ‘I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more.’

And so, Sora and Kairi followed their best friend to where they would finish up the day’s events. Their wedding, their reception, and their gift from beyond would remain in their hearts as memories to be cherished as they moved forward into a future that would hopefully be filled with light, laughter and love.

________________________________________________________________

Notes from the Mad Doctor:

I think we’re all in agreement with Riku’s last thoughts. Sora and Kairi truly deserve a happy ending and let’s keep hoping that will happen one day.

Who was Kairi planning on tossing her bouquet to? I do have an answer for that. But it might be a while before I actually reveal it. Until then, I’ll just let you guess. Yes, that’s evil. But a Mad Doctor has to have some fun with his readers.

Also, even though I hinted Riku had a significant other, due to the rules of SoKai Week prohibiting other ships, I purposely left it unrevealed. I do have a shipping preference for Riku, but it cannot be shown in a SoKai Week story so, sorry about that.

Now for some final words of thanks.

I give my thanks to whoever reads this chapter.

I also give my special thanks to @fandomchanger, @ratchetfan2006artsi, @hinataoc, @sakuranekogirl, and @lazerfighter for their likes on the previous chapters, as well as @sokaiweek and @the-secret-place, for reblogging the previous chapters.

I also give a big thank you to the artists and writers whose work I had the pleasure of witnessing this year. You all did a great job and I really enjoyed your work.

And an especially big thank you to the moderators of the SoKai Week Tumblr for enabling us to be part of a great collection.

Happy SoKai Week and stay tuned for more from the Mad Doctor in the future!

#kingdom hearts #kh fanfiction #sokai #sokai married #sokaiweek #sokaiweek2022 #riku #kairi #sora #maddrmatt

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thesoulofasurvivor · 2 years

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Anonymous asked:

3. whose writing has impacted your writing style the most? (you can choose anyone! famous writer or not.) & 9. when you look at a new blog, what is it that makes you press the follow button? is it the muse, the aesthetics, the writing–? & 13. what themes/motifs do you hope other people notice most about your character? 💕

No one in particular. The influence of my own writing sort of just comes from... Anywhere and everywhere? Actually, I’m honestly not much of a book fan. I do have very few and select books that I enjoy, and a couple that I haven’t even been able to read. I think it’s just because my concentration is very bad, and reading text on paper just isn’t entertaining enough for my eyes to hold my attention. It’s why I always prefer tv shows and movies and videos. My eyes must be intrigued otherwise you’ve lost me 👉👈 writing roleplay with others is just different don’t ask me, I have no idea.

How chill the mun seems. I am a very sensitive and shy person, I admit, I will cry over spilled milk, I am weak and people scare me. Yes, I do look at the muses of course as obviously I want to be sure we can write together, as not all muses work together, especially with bailey being an apocalyptic-based muse. BUT, if I had to number most important and least important... 1. the mun, I don’t want to be scared of people I follow lol. And obviously if I see that they are even the least bit involved with drama and callouts and shit, noooo thank you. I prefer to interact with muns who seem chill, nice and easy to get along with. 2. the muse or muses for multi-blogs, because obviously when you follow someone it’s because you want to write with them. Why follow if you never intend to write with them, yeah? and 3. aesthetics, this is a very low priority, I honestly couldn’t care less what your blog looks like, it could look like a mess for all I care. If you’re a good person, you have a muse that will write well with mine and your writing is good... I don’t care about the aesthetics.

13.

Erm, nothing really, I guess. I mean, if anybody ever reads through her story, I did try to make a sort of theme out of her losses. It’s obviously common to lose your loved ones to the infection, but in her case, each time she loses someone to the infection is another jab at the fact that she survived what they couldn’t, which contributes to the whole feeling of survivor’s guilt.

#** 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑢𝑛 ; 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 #`` 𝑎𝑠𝑘𝑠 ; 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡

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gimme-mor · 3 years

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ACOTAR THINK PIECE: ELAIN ARCHERON, UNTOUCHABLE

*DISCLAIMER*

This will be a long post.

Please take the time to read this post in its entirety and truly reflect on the message I am trying to send before commenting. My goal is to use my background in Gender and Women’s Studies to deconstruct the comments I have seen on Tumblr and Twitter and bring awareness to the ACOTAR fandom.

The reason I am tagging “Elriel” in this post is to call attention to the arguments in the Elriel fandom that: weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions about Elain’s character and her relationship with Lucien; victimize Elain’s character in fandom discussions; and coddle Elain’s character, which limits fandom discussions about her narrative development and prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions in the same way that the fandom holds other characters accountable for their actions and inactions. It is for these reasons that I WILL NOT remove the “Elriel” tag from this post because all of the above points contribute to the toxic discourse surrounding Elain’s character.

I urge those who use these arguments to understand their implications, why they are problematic, regardless of intent, and reexamine their contributions to the ACOTAR fandom. I WILL NOT tolerate anyone who tries to twist my words and say I am attacking people and their personal shipping preferences. In fact, I AM CRITIQUING THE ARGUMENTS THEMSELVES NOT THE PEOPLE USING THE ARGUMENTS.

Also, I highly encourage the Elriel fandom to read this post because it addresses how the concept of choice as an argument enables arguments to exploit social justice and feminist languge in order to vilify Elucien shippers, among other problematic things.

Elain Archeron is one of the most polarizing characters in the ACOTAR fandom. Though opinions about Elain vary, arguments in the Elriel fandom cite society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters as the reason behind the hate, and this belief is used to provide an explanation as to why other characters in the series are favored over her. In the series, Elain is portrayed in a wholly positive light and this image carries over into the Elriel fandom, painting her character as a good and kind female who has been unfairly wronged and a victim of circumstances that were out of her control. When arguments in the Elriel fandom oppose other viewpoints in the fandom, they fall into one of three categories:

Category 1: Weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions

Maybe people who hate Elain are just jealous of her in a weird way similar to when someone hates the pretty, nice, and charming girl in school just because she is too perfect

Disliking Elain is misogynistic

What happened to feminism? What happened to women supporting women? What happened to she can say no? All of that disappears the second you force Elain to be with Lucien

Elain antis are misogynistic

All Eluciens are Elain antis

Antis claiming they’re feminists when in reality they hate on Elain and Feyre but love Nesta

Elain antis are such sore losers. Y’all were that bunch of people who could not get over being rejected from hanging out with the cool kids so y’all are projecting your hatred towards pretty people now to get validation

I don’t get how Elain’s love for gardening equals boring for some people. I’m sorry your misogyny finds traditionally feminine activities boring

Why are you attacking a female? What did Elain do? Where are your feminist voices?

The fandom is misogynistic towards Elain

If people loved Elain they would ship Elriel

If you hate Elain it says a lot about your feelings toward women

If you hate Elain because she has no “development” then you must hate Azriel because otherwise you’re misogynistic

Eluciens are turned off by the idea of a woman that has the autonomy to reject a man for the simple reason that it is her choice

Eluciens are all about feminism and “it’s HER choice” until it comes down to females not wanting a male

Eluciens don’t respect Elain’s feelings when they ship her with someone that was part of her trauma and makes her feel uncomfortable

The way some Elucien shippers completely disregard how uncomfortable Elain is around Lucien is so hilariously not funny. Prioritizing being mates over Elain’s feelings is just regressive

It’s hard as a fan of Elain to see someone ship her with a person who makes her physically uncomfortable to be around. Wouldn’t you want both characters to be happy to be around each other

Imagine if SJM saw all the awful things her “stans” had to say about Elain

It’s true that we know comparatively little about her, but is she really boring or do you just not value stereotypically feminine traits?

So y’all are just gonna tell me you prefer Elucien over Elriel? Even though Lucien treats Elain as if she’s something that belongs to him? The only reason he wants to be with her is because she’s his mate, he doesn’t respect her, doesn’t treat her as his equal, even though that’s what mates should be? He doesn’t bother to look past what’s on the outside to see her for who she is. And Elain is obviously repulsed by the idea that she should belong to anyone or have no choice in who she can be with. Azriel is her friend and the only person who sees her quiet strength. He has so much faith in her, in her abilities; he’s the one who kept her company when no one else did, he’s the only one who bothered to see her for more than her brokenness. You’re going to tell me you still prefer Elucien over Elriel?

The more I see Gwynriels that ship Elucien out of their hate for Elain, the less I can understand Elain stans that ship Elucien. Pls Elain has made it very clear that she doesn’t want Lucien, why would you ship her with him? Do you hate her too? Smh

The real question would be, if you care and understand Elain why would you ship her with Lucien (where she canonically shrinks when he is near)?

People crying over Helion and Lucien’s mom not getting to be with each other and her being forced into a relationship she didn’t want, but also ship Elucien? Just say you hate Elain

When Elain’s book is out, Gwyn stans will look like clowns and I will laugh because they set her up by shipping her with Azriel just because they hate Elain. Watch them play the victims now because Elriels are clapping back the hate they’ve sent towards Elain

As romantic as wanting girl who is visibly uncomfortable around a guy who caused her trauma to end up with the said guy. Guess their standards for romance are in hell

Category 2: Victimize Elain’s character

Gwynriels only want Gwyn with Azriel because they despise Elain

Gwyn stans and Gwynriels are Elain antis

No one in the books dislike Elain, so why are there so many people who do?

Elain hasn’t done anything wrong or questionable to warrant the hate she gets

Not having Elain’s POV makes it easy for people to be swayed a certain way about her character if you already don’t relate to her in some way

It’s been years since this series came out and we haven’t gotten a lick of an Elain POV, but people still hate her for what? We don’t know her thoughts, dreams, or aspirations

We haven’t even had Elain’s perspective yet and people are passing these judgments off on her

Elain antis who say she’s boring are just cruel when she has obvious symptoms of PTSD like Feyre and Nesta

Gwyn is one of the most overhyped characters and that’s only because most people hate Elain and they couldn’t wait to find a random girl to ship Azriel with

Nesta was abusive to her sisters but Elain (who has only ever been kind) is painted as the villain

From the text we know that Elain is the epitome of feminine stereotypes (gentle, gardening, baking, non confrontational for the most part). Yet people still call her boring or deny that she has any interesting character traits?

You can’t love Nesta and hate Elain

People hate Elain because of internalized misogyny and lack of taste. All the girl does is tend to her garden and mind her business and they treat her worse than Tamlin

Does Gwyn deserve all this support? Of course yes! She is amazing! But where’s that support when Elain was in the same situation as she? Where’s that support for her right now? Why do they idolize Gwyn for her interactions with Azriel and hate Elain for having any interaction with him?

It’s not even a ship war anymore, they just hate Elain

People hate Elain for no reason

Some of y’all don’t like feminine traits and it shows

We know less about Eris and Helion but people don’t call them boring. Why would rejecting femininity make Elain more interesting?

Elain has had a lot forced upon her

The main reason I believe most people love Gwyn so much is to get Azriel away from Elain. It’s not a secret that Elain has been a widely hated character for years so suddenly we get a new female who has a minimal amount of interactions with Azriel and BOOM. New ship that once again doesn’t make sense (just like Azriel x Emerie after ACOFAS)

Elain hasn’t done something so terrible for her to get this hate. At this point some of you are just being misogynistic and you don’t want to accept it. Don’t call yourselves feminists and then say bs like this, it’s embarrassing. She’s pretty and everyone agreed to hate on her

Just a personal feeling, but I feel like a lot of the Elain hate stems from internalized misogyny. That to be a strong female lead, you need to pick up a sword and fight. That to be strong, you need to adapt traditionally masculine traits

Elain is feminine. She is beautiful. She loves to bake and garden. She is docile, quiet, observant, and a people-pleaser. All traditionally feminine traits. Yet for some reason, she’s like the worst in these people’s eyes?

I think also maybe a lot of people can’t relate to her femininity? That her being so beautiful and quiet doesn’t allow for the people who dislike her not to self-insert? Most of the hate stems from people not wanting Elain to be with Azriel. It’s mean, but maybe the people who hate Elain literally just can’t self-insert if they have a story and that’s why they’re vehemently against it?

Poor Elain. The Cauldron dealt her a bad deal. Upon emerging as Fae, she is immediately declared by Lucien as his mate, never mind that she was already engaged to a prick. Her love life is not good

It blows my mind how they really think that they can compare all the shit that Elain gets with some dumb jokes about Gwyn on Twitter (and yes, the “hate” towards her started mostly because Elriels are clapping back, it was bound to happen)

I would think of it as anti-feminist with Elain and Lucien because she has consistently stated that she does not want him so if she was forced to embrace the bond that would be taking away her right to have a choice but with Az she feels comfortable around so if they were mates then Elain would be happy and feel safe which again should be the priority for women to feel safe in their relationships with anything and to not be forced into any type of situation aka the mating bond in this

Category 3: Coddle Elain’s character

Elain has value the way she is, in all her domestic girly glory. Not every character has to be badass

We don’t speak of Elain’s flaws frequently because everyone else already speaks badly of her, mainly in an unfair way

There is definitely something deeper going on with Elain but by no means will she ever be evil or any less feminine. That goes against everything we already know about her

It’s ok to critique Elain because she needs growth but y’all keep forgetting the shit her and her sisters went through

The last “bad” thing Elain did in ACOTAR was not help Feyre when they were impoverished and I’m tired of people acting like she’s a terrible character when it was their father’s responsibility. It happened 4 books ago and Feyre has forgiven both Nesta and Elain

Elain’s character and the evil Elain theory are a great example of the trend where people only consider female characters interesting if they reject femininity

We don’t know enough to hate Elain

Many people want Elain to turn evil (which in my opinion seems to come from a place of internalized misogyny)

However we don’t tend to talk about her faults, at least not publicly, as that has been, and still is, done to death, and I--personally, at least--find it much more fun to theorise about potentially interesting aspects of the overall plot, than dwell on negatives

And ultimately, I would be shocked if Elain has a more karmically-charged story than Nesta, considering that Elain’s “wrongs” are so much less severe and bad than Nesta’s, and Elain has already apologized for them (or paid the price in other ways, like through what Graysen did)

I guess I also think Elain has suffered and been punished enough. I hope her story is about finding hope in terrible situations, and learning to love her new life, and choosing her own path after everything that has been done to her. I don’t think she needs to be punished anymore or face any additional trauma

Also, why is she being judged on her decisions as a human at all? Fae are monsters to humans! They enslaved them for thousands of years, and the Wall was erected to keep them out

Like I’m sorry, but think Elain would want to leave her ONLY FAMILY AND FRIENDS for the Spring Court where she has no one because--oh look, lots of flowers!--is the craziest thing I have ever heard

Her sisters are in the Night Court. Her nephew is in the Night Court. Her closest friends (Nuala and Cerridwen) are in the Night Court. Her love interest is in the Night Court. Her extended family is in the Night Court. Her home is in the Night Court

SJM isn’t going to keep two sisters together and split up the third. Especially not keep Feyre and Nesta together and separate Elain. They were either all going to end up in separate places, or together. Not 2 here and 1 there

Compared to the other female characters in the series, Elain is the only character whose femalehood is at the center of conversations; this is because arguments in the Elriel fandom fixate on it when discussing her character. While Elain, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor are all representations of white womanhood and white beauty, Elain epitomizes the most fragile version of white womanhood. It’s easy to blame society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters when it comes to the discourse surrounding Elain’s character because it: falls in line with the fixation on Elain’s femalehood to silence opposing viewpoints; is a simplistic explanation that fails to tackle the underlying issues with Elain as a character, the same issues that are downplayed in-universe; absolves Elain of her wrongdoings; prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions within the series; and diminishes the impact Elain’s actions and inactions have on those around her. It’s not that Elain is hated in the fandom because she’s a traditional female character; it’s the fact that arguments in the Elriel fandom deflect a critical analysis of Elain’s character because she’s a traditional female character who embodies the ideal white woman in need of protection. White fans and white-aligned fans of color, especially white women, have a tendency to vehemently defend, gatekeep, and coddle white female characters in fandom; this makes it difficult for other fans to engage in critical discussions about these white female characters because they’re viewed as flawless and all around perfect characters despite evidence to the contrary. Since Elain is viewed positively by the other characters in the series, it has rendered her character untouchable to any perceived slight or criticism in fandom discussions because those negative opinions challenge what has been said about her character thus far. And as a result, her character has been placed on a pedestal and implicitly hailed as the epitome of white womanhood; and when she’s criticized, it’s seen as a direct attack against white womanhood. Arguments in the Elriel fandom: exploit feminist language and perpetuate white feminist tactics under the guise of defending Elain’s character; center Elain in conversations about female oppression in the ACOTAR world and uphold white feminist ideologies in their critique of ACOTAR’s patriarchal society; and use the fragile white woman narrative to victimize Elain in Lucien’s presence, playing into racial biases that are associated with white supremacy’s defense of white womanhood.

Feminism is a social movement that seeks to promote equality and equity to all genders, and feminists work toward eradicating gender disparities on a macro-level, in addition to challenging gender biases on a micro-level. As feminism became more mainstream, a flat and oversimplified version of feminism emerged: mainstream feminism. The mainstream feminist movement is meant to represent all women, but rarely does it center conversations around issues that concern most women. The problem with mainstream feminism is that it’s just a popularized version of white feminism. White feminism has relied extensively on an individualized understanding of women’s oppression, exclusively from the lens of privileged white women. White feminism only focuses on the oppression experienced by white, able-bodied, affluent, educated, cishet women; and it views gender as the key mode of privileged white women’s oppression, isolated from the privileges granted by their other social identities. White women can be and are oppressed under the patriarchy but only because they are women; their identity as women does not exempt them from the privileges granted by their whiteness. The term white feminist does not mean any feminist who is white, but refers to feminists who prioritize the concerns of privileged white women as though they are representative of all women. However, the term is not exclusive to white people. Because white feminism is so pervasive, people of other racial and ethnic backgrounds often buy into white feminism, believing that if they work hard enough, they may be able to reap its rewards.

Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism only recognizes the identity of being a woman, assumes that all women share common experiences of gender oppression, fails to address other social identities in relation to overlapping systems of oppression, and disregards privilege in relation to various social identities. Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism is palatable because it doesn’t seek to challenge the systems in place, instead its goal is to succeed within them. Essentially, mainstream feminism and white feminism are extensions of performative feminism. Performative feminism is a type of performative activism that’s used to describe feminist views that are surface level and solely for the benefit of one type of person. It’s a pretense which often has nothing to do with genuine activism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom normalize and promote performative feminism because the topic of feminism is only referenced when discussing Elain. This indicates that these arguments are engaging in disingenuous discourse to push a personal agenda within the ACOTAR fandom, and it becomes more apparent when they use white feminist tactics to shut down opposing viewpoints:

White feminists weaponize and exploit feminist language to silence the opinions of other women, especially when they’re called out for their problematic behaviors

White feminists use the phrase “Women supporting women” to defend other white feminists who exhibit problematic behaviors instead of holding them accountable

White feminists weaponize phrases like “Women supporting women” and “You just hate women” to attack other women who disagree with them on any given topic

White feminists use phrases like “All women face challenges” and “Stop pitting women against each other” to sidestep conversations about privilege

White feminists divert conversations away from privilege and towards the Trauma Olympics to equate their struggles to the oppression of marginalized people

White feminists skirt around the realities of other forms of oppression and discrimination, downplaying the experiences of marginalized people

White feminists diminish or ignore the ways in which gender oppression affects other marginalized people

White feminists paint those they harmed as aggressive, mean, or divisive when confronted with the ways they have harmed a marginalized group

White feminists deflect criticism by focusing on the anger or emotions being expressed rather than the issue that is being discussed, invalidating the concerns of marginalized people

White feminists speak over marginalized voices in an attempt to sound “woke”

White feminists get defensive and insist there’s no way they could be a part of the problem because of what they’ve done to help marginalized groups already

White feminists say they don’t see color in an attempt to obscure racial issues that need to be addressed

White feminists center and victimize themselves in conversations about racism, which derails necessary conversations from taking place

White feminists who are white weaponize the intersectionality of their race and gender to avoid accountability

Feminism is not meant to be approached from an individualistic perspective nor is it only about addressing the experiences of privileged white women, it involves addressing the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, and other social identities as well; and it involves addressing how these social identities relate to privilege. Moreover, feminism is not about women upholding complete loyalty to other women because of a shared gender identity, and to claim that it does implies that women should be held to different emotional standards than men. If men are able to dislike and criticize other individual men, real or fictional, without their characters being compromised, why aren’t women granted that same privilege?

It’s clear that SJM set up the ACOTAR world to mirror a patriarchal society, and that the imbalance of power between males and females stems from sexism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom analyze the ACOTAR world through a feminist lens to show how ACOTAR’s patriarchal society, to which the mating bond is innately tied, contributes to female oppression and limits their agency. When choice and free will are emphasized as part of Elain’s arc, they imply that Elain, through the mating bond, experiences female oppression under ACOTAR’s patriarchal society because of her identity as a female with that identity being the focal point of her oppression in the world. Elain is one of the most privileged characters in the ACOTAR world: she’s High Fae; she’s the sister of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, which gives her access to wealth and political influence because of that connection; she’s able-bodied; she was magically blessed by the Cauldron; and she lives in Velaris, a place that grants females autonomy and power because of the beliefs of Rhysand and Feyre. Arguments in the Elriel fandom trivialize female oppression in the ACOTAR world because they disregard the fact that Elain’s privileges prevent her from experiencing female oppression in the same way that other marginalized females in the world do. The mating bond being one such example because those around Elain are not forcing the bond on her, instead they’re allowing Elain to reach a decision about the bond for herself; a privilege that other marginalized females in the world probably wouldn’t have. Just because Elain has endured hardships in her life and is a female in a patriarchal society, they do not erase the privileges she holds within the ACOTAR world. The failure to include Elain’s privileges in discussions about Elain being a female in a patriarchal society feeds into white feminist ideologies because white feminism operates from a very narrow perspective; it doesn’t take other intersecting identities into account when it examines gender oppression, leaving no room for discussions about privilege (or lack thereof) in relation to those intersecting identities. When discussing oppression in hierarchical societies, it’s imperative that privilege is also included in the conversation because privilege and oppression are not mutually exclusive; they equally affect the ways in which people navigate those societies through their social identities.

Rather than attributing Elain’s uncomfortability to her new life as a Fae female or the mating bond itself and her trauma to the Cauldron, the King of Hybern, or Ianthe, they’re placed on Lucien to cast his character in a negative light. Moreover, fandom discussions portray Lucien as a possessive character to further emphasize Elain’s discomfort despite the inaccuracy of this characterization in canon. Arguments in the Elriel fandom play into racial biases when it comes to Lucien (a male character of color) because they mischaracterize his character in order to victimize Elain (a white female character), placing her character in the role of the white damsel in distress. In Western society, the concept of womanhood has been conceptualized from a Eurocentric perspective with femininity and feminine attributes favoring white women. It’s the idea that a certain type of femininity is only inherent to white women as they are seen as the embodiment of an ideal womanhood. White womanhood has been a symbol of innocence and purity, and white women have been viewed as fragile beings in need of protection. The reason white womanhood functions within white supremacy is because it’s the same idea that has motivated white men to kill and beat black and brown men. The so-called protection of white women has been used as a justification for the horrific violence committed by white men because black and brown men were stereotyped as aggressive and seen as a threat to the virtue of white women. The white damsel in distress trope considered white women as worthy of protection because of their perceived innocence and purity; women of color were not granted that same treatment because they did not fit into the ideal image of womanhood. Over the years, this trope became a means for white women to exercise limited power in a patriarchal society with white women weaponizing their status as the damsel much to the detriment of black and brown men. It’s through the white damsel in distress trope that white supremacy sustains its dominance in Western society. The misrepresentation of characters of color in fandom, the dismissal of their importance to the overall story, and using them as tools in arguments centered around white characters are the foundation of fandom racism; they’re examples of how racism moves silently in fandom spaces. Instead of examining their behavior and taking constructive criticism from fans of color, white fans will often double down on their bigotry and center their uncomfortability in the conversation when confronted with their complicity in fandom racism. White fans expect fans of color to swallow fandom racism in its many forms in order to not ruin the experience of fandom, dismissing the fact that racism is prevalent in nearly every aspect of society. This mentality ensures that no one is held accountable for the harm they caused and alienates fans of color in fandom spaces.

To reiterate what I mentioned in my first think piece: terms like “oppression”, “the right to choose”, “feminist”, “feminism”, “anti-feminist”, “anti-feminism”, “internalized misogyny”, “misogyny”, “misogynist”, “sexist”, “sexism”, “racist”, “racism”, “classist”, “classism”, “discrimination”, and “patriarchy” are all used in specific ways to draw attention to the plight of marginalized people and challenge those who deny the existence of systems of oppression. Yet these words and their meanings can be twisted to attack, exclude, and invalidate people with differing opinions on any given topic. When social justice and feminist terms are thrown around antagonistically and carelessly to push a personal agenda, it becomes clear that these terms are being used to engage in disingenuous discourse and pursue personal validation rather than being used out of any deep-seated conviction to dismantle systemic oppression. Being an ally, activist, or feminist is not an identity, it’s a practice. It requires: ongoing self-reflection; holding ourselves accountable; listening to marginalized people; educating ourselves; dismantling implicit biases; challenging those around us who are exhibiting problematic behaviors; and action behind our words.

It’s important to be aware of the language that is used within the fandom when defending or critiquing characters and ships. It’s also important to question how an argument is framed and why it’s framed the way that it is to critically examine the intent behind that argument: is it used as a tool to push a personal agenda that reinforces problematic behaviors, or is it used as an opportunity to share, learn, enlighten, and educate?

-----------

Tagging: @spell-cleavers @bookofmirth @m0bulidae @ilya-boltagon

#elain archeron #elriel #acotar fandom #acotar: fandom critical

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wonlouvre · 3 years

Note

could you do a demigod mingyu son of dionysus au :> something like gyu has fallen for reader who is mortal i’ve been wanting to read one ever since and i’m a big fan of of your works :> i would prefer it to be fluff though but you could put angst as long as its a happy ending

flawless | k. mg.

pairing: son of dionysus!mingyu x g.n. reader genre: fluff, modern greek mythology warnings: super tiny rating m in the end (please tell me if i missed anything!) word count: 1k

💌: hello! i would like to apologize in advance if this isn’t what you wanted. i really don’t have any extensive knowledge about greek mythology and demigods, i’m sorry if there are inaccuracies :( thank you so much for reading my works though and sending this request! <3

The memory is vivid inside Mingyu’s mind. The surroundings, the sounds, the dialogue, the feeling. He remembers them all. He remembers you and how he started falling in love with you.

The first time he saw you, you were playing the piano at one of the musicals that his winery sponsored. Wine and performing arts come hand in hand for Mingyu, being the son of a god who enjoys them so much. Don’t take him wrong though, he loves them as much. It’s just that seeing you sparked a different joy that he never thought he would feel in all of his existence.

Mingyu thought it was just a fleeting feeling, an infatuation of some sort that would pass away someday. He tried to convince himself that maybe, just maybe, you only caught his eyes because you were brilliant and the performance you were accompanying with your talented hands was moving. But then again, you were not the first best performer he ever witnessed.

Maybe it’s because you were not only the best, but perfect instead.

Mingyu did everything that he could to not dive and invest himself in getting to know you. He told himself no, he’s not going to introduce himself to your production team and treat them to a nice and fancy dinner. But guess who won?

Mingyu invited everyone, from the cast members, the dancers, the band and up to the production crew in charge of the lighting, make-up and costume. Everyone. He held that dinner under the guise that he enjoyed the musical so much, they deserved a reward (they did). When the truth is, he held that dinner so that he could admire you eat, laugh and enjoy even though you were ten tables far away from him.

Mingyu can tell his resolve has crumbled down since then.

Sometimes, Mingyu forgets his apprehension in interacting way too much with humans. He has nothing against them. His mother is human for crying out loud. It’s the attachment and fear that he’s afraid of. No other human has ever loved him without judgments other than his mom.

Mingyu has always been stubborn with that belief until you came along and changed his mind.

It was during the final curtain call that Mingyu finally had the courage to go out his way and introduce himself personally to you. He watched every show with flowers in hand but never got the guts to give them to you. The expensive arrangement only gets left behind on the chair he sat on, sometimes confusing other audiences. But that time around, it became different.

“Oh!” You exclaimed as you opened the door of the dressing room. “Which cast member do you wish to give this to? I’ll put them on their table.”

Mingyu’s breath got caught in his throat and his grip on the bouquet tightened. He lightly bit his tongue before extending his arms and finally giving the flowers to you.

“It’s actually for you,” Mingyu confessed, nervously waiting for you to accept his gift, his heart.

The demigod was successful in capturing your heart. It was inevitable to not fall in love with him anyway. Mingyu’s sincere affection didn’t stop at flowers. The romantic gestures continued and never stopped. Dinner dates, museum dates, musical dates, and winery dates just like now.

Mingyu almost chokes on the red wine he is drinking at what you have just said.

You know of Mingyu’s kind and they have been co-existing with humans for centuries. It’s not hard to know them, but Mingyu was a mystery. He was kind of dumbfounded when you told him, in genuine honesty, that you didn’t know that Dionysus, his father, had a son. Five months into your relationship, you had only just found out.

“Are you serious right now?” Mingyu asks and places the wine glass back on the table and leans closer to you.

You swallow your own drink while blinking at him. “Yes?”

“Babe, you really didn’t know?”

You nod and distance yourself from his handsome face because he keeps leaning closer and closer, you could fall.

Mingyu laughs, no he cackles, and leans back on his chair. You frown at him in confusion. What is so funny anyway? Your boyfriend’s eyes are tearing up, you couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

“Look, of course I wouldn’t ask anyone ‘hey are you a complete human or a demigod?’” You defend yourself and cross your arms with a pout. “That’s a little offensive, you know. Plus, it doesn’t matter anyway. Demigod or not, you’re my boyfriend.”

Mingyu snorts and pulls your chair closer to him. He wraps his arms around your shoulders and plants a kiss on the side of your head.

What he says next surprises you.

“I could love you forever.”

Your eyes widen as you feel the warmth of his lips and the warmth of his words he didn’t even know he just blurted out.

When he feels your muscles tense up, Mingyu asks, “What’s wrong?”

“Mingyu,” you whisper, eyes darting back and forth between his eyes and lips. “I—, did you just?”

“What?” Mingyu panics and holds your cheeks. “What did I do? What did I say?”

You giggle and kiss him, long and sweet. “You love me?”

Mingyu frowns. “What? You didn’t know?”

You roll your eyes and throw a soft jab on his toned stomach. He’s teasing you now and he’s trying to get away with it by trailing kisses on your cheek, jaw and neck. You almost release a moan when he finds a particular spot to nip on.

“Okay, big boy. Calm yourself down,” you reprimand and push his head away.

Mingyu groans and tightly hugs your waist, nuzzling his nose on your neck. You smile and massage his scalp, now he’s the one moaning.

“You have to say it back.”

You smirk and remain quiet.

“Hey,” Mingyu’s head pops back up. “Didn’t you hear me? I love you.”

You chuckle before finally giving in. “I love you too.”

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jisungsmochi · 3 years

Text

i’ve got this friend - mark lee

based on the (unreleased) song by 5SOS

neighbour & friend! mark + a very oblivious y/n (female)

word count: 1.7k

summary: after a rumour stirs that you have a secret admirer, your neighbour and friend, mark lee begins to drop some, not so subtle, clues on who it might be. will his mission be a success?

mark hated lee haechan more than anything in the world right now. the little menace decided to spread the rumour that you had a secret admirer. mark was in panic mode, wanting nothing more than to roll up in a ball and cry.

“what the hell, man? what if she finds out?” mark groaned, holding the bridge of his nose, as haechan continued to giggle.

“would that be so bad? you’ve been pining over her since you became neighbours. isn’t it time for you to finally tell her how you feel?”

“what if she’s disappointed?” haechan immediately stopped laughing, furrowing his eyebrows at his glum faced friend.

“but what if she’s over the moon? you always look for the bad in these situations. you’re confessing to her, you have to” mark knew inside that he was partially right. it had been almost two years since he developed a friendship with you. although you weren’t attached to the hip, you were both friendly towards eachother and spent a fair amount of time together. haechan claimed he had a fool proof plan to ‘get the girl’ so let the games begin...

“hey! y/n, wait up” mark caught up with you as you exited your house.

“oh goodmorning mark” you smiled as you walked over to him, continuing to walk alongside him on your way to school.

“i gotta tell you something” he looks away from you, eyes drawn to the ground. you silently urge him to continue,

“i heard that someone likes you”

you immediately stop in your tracks, your face contorting into confusion yet also, excitement.

“really? do you know who it is?” you trailed slowly behind him, he didn’t even notice you had stopped briefly.

“uh yeah, i’ve got this friend, he doesn’t really want me to tell you who he is yet” you felt your heart sink, is this all some sick prank?

“mark, you don’t have to feed into these rumours-“

“no i’m being serious, you have an admirer” he softly smiled, making you feel slightly more at ease. mark had never lied to you before, why would he start now? you decided not to pry him anymore, wanting to keep this to yourself for the time being. of course you were curious as to who it was, but maybe keeping their identity hidden is giving them the courage to contact you eventually. you were hopeful, and so was mark. he wanted nothing more than for you to make your way to him.

“so is there anything else you wanna tell me about said admirer? is he tall? do i know him?” you begin to become impatient as you sat across from mark at your usual lunch table.

“um he’s kinda my size? i guess. you might know him, he does go to our school” you begin to turn around, scanning your eyes over the courtyard.

“don’t look now! he might be looking” mark hurriedly spoke, not thinking about his words.

“oh so he’s close to where we are?” you grew even more curious than before. you were going to get mark lee to crack, it was the only way.

‘oh fuck’ he thought to himself. what is he going to do now?

“mark, it’s honestly killing me! you really can’t tell me who he is? is he really that shy? or am i just intimidating?” you frown as you sit on mark’s couch in his basement. he invited you over sometimes whenever he was bored and needed someone to go over some of his song ideas with. mark was in a band with some of his close friends, they didn’t really have a proper name yet, and had barely played infront of people.

“you’re not intimidating at all! you’re one of the kindest people i know” he quickly jumps to your defence. he hesitates for a moment before continuing,

“well he plays the bass guitar, and oh! he thinks you would like him better if he had a car, kinda feels like a loser for not having one” your mind begins to wind, who do you know that can play bass and has no car...

well jeno was the official bassist of their band...and you remember him complaining at one of their practices that he was late because he had to take the bus. but really? did lee jeno have a crush on you? that seemed unrealistic. you barely had any interactions with him, only greeting him nicely whenever you tuned in to their practices. was mark trying to set you guys up or something?

“is it someone from your band?” mark froze, not expecting you to catch on so quickly. (not like he was being so discrete either)

“uh maybe, maybe not. i don’t know” he begins to ramble.

“i’m beginning to think you’re playing some weird prank on me, mark lee. i hope whoever this guy is, comes to me soon. the suspense is killing me!” and with that, mark knew he needed to speed up the plan.

“you gotta tell her soon, your stupid clues are probably making her stressed. and why the hell do you wanna make her stressed?!” haechan gave the older boy a hard smack on the back of the head.

“look, we need a new plan, asap”

“no shit, you’re lucky i’m the damage control” haechan huffed, putting on his figurative thinking cap.

“aha! you’re going to write her a song” mark raised an eyebrow at the younger boy as if he was insane, he can’t write a song in a day, not even a week sometimes.

“not an actual song! just a little snippet of a song describing your feelings, since you can’t seem to say it to her straight out. it’s a brilliant idea and you should thank me” mark understood where he was coming from. maybe if he sat you down, with his guitar and sang to you, it wouldn’t be as awkward or pressuring. lee haechan was in fact a genius.

“mark? it’s like 1am, what do you need me for?” you groan from your side of the phone call.

“i need to get something off my chest, meet me at the park in 10” part of you wanted to hang up and fall back asleep, but another part of you was curious as to why mark lee needed you so late in the night. you dressed yourself in a warm puffer jacket before making your way to the playground across from your and mark’s houses.

you saw him sitting on one of the swings, his guitar tucked close to him, his fingers strumming to a random tune.

“this better be good” you sigh, taking a seat on the swing next to him.

“the reason i asked you to come out here is because i haven’t been completely honest with you. i don’t want you to say anything until the song is done, it would really save me the embarrassment” he warned, making you slightly nervous. he took a deep breath, eyes focused on the strings of the guitar, before he began to play.

[ *cue ‘i’ve got this friend’ by 5sos hehe]

“I've got this friend who's crazy about you

I've got this friend who can't be without you

I've got this friend and I wish I could see

See what you'd say if I told you it was me

I want to tell you to see what you'd say

Before I jump in and I ask for that date

I've been that friend

I've been that friend and I wish I could see

How this would end if you knew it was me?”

your heart melted at each lyric. mark lee had been that ‘friend’ all along. the mark that always waited for you to walk to school together. the mark that always brought you home bubble tea when you were feeling down. the mark that always invited you over just because he enjoyed the company. it was him. it was always him.

you felt tears begin to fill your eyes, causing mark to place his guitar down and stand across from you, holding your shoulders gently.

“d-did i say something wrong? did i mess things up? i’m so sorry, y/n. i should have come clean so-“

“no mark, i’m not mad or sad! i’m just really overwhelmed. here i was thinking that this was all some silly joke when the whole time, you were my admirer” you slightly sniffled at the last part, making mark’s heart swoon. he wiped a tear that fell from your eye, as you leant into his warm palm.

“i don’t need you to say you like me back or anything, i just couldn’t go on with life without you knowing”

“i understand. and trust me, i’ve always seen you as my cute next door neighbour. and honestly, i’d be lying if i said that i haven’t thought about dating you” you felt heat rise to your cheeks, hoping he wouldn’t notice due to the cold.

“but all those clues! it must have been so entertaining to watch me struggle with piecing it all together! everything makes sense now, except for the bass guitar one. i thought you were just the lead guitarist?” you furrowed your eyebrows as mark began to chuckle.

“i kinda slipped up there, i can play both guitar and bass. i was actually the initial bassist of the band until we found jeno” mark explained, making you feel even more stupid.

“gosh, there i was thinking that jeno was my admirer” you saw mark begin to frown, causing you to stand and face him.

“but don’t worry about him, all my attention and focus will be on you now!” you smiled with glee, watching as mark copied your expression. he leaned down close to you, placing a small peck to your cheek, his breath slowly fanning your cheeks.

“so what do you say? go on a date with me?”

“of course, tell your little ‘friend’ he finally got the girl” you pulled him into a warm embrace, feeling him melt in your arms.

it was safe to say that you and mark didn’t remain friends for much longer.

#mark lee imagine #mark imagine #nct mark imagine #nct fluff #nct imagine #nct fic #mark lee fic #mark lee fluff #nct mark fluff #nct mark scenario #nct dream scenario #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct 127 imagine #nct writing #jisungsmochi masterlist #jisungsmochiimagines

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mcyt-imagines · 3 years

Note

Hey, can you do a dream x fem!reader where the chat hears the reader mumble to herself in the background of dreams stream and he introduces her to his fans. I hope this is ok, thanks in advance xx

Thanks so much for the request! I hope you enjoy :) Also, I’ve used she/her pronouns, as requested!

Once A Silent Bystander

Dream’s quick rise to popularity left little space for you to believe that introducing yourself beside him in the limelight was ever going to be a good idea. Part of you thought that you wouldn’t be able to handle the pressure of so many eyes being on you at all times. You’d seen firsthand the highs and lows that came with internet fame, you had shared countless sleepless nights with Dream in the early days. His popularity was still rising but now his drama and controversy had begun to plateau nicely, leaving him far more mental energy to focus on bigger and better projects to further his channel. One of these ‘projects’ was a commitment to stick to a concrete streaming schedule for as long as he could.

This had led to Dream frequently texting you whenever he would start streaming, knowing you could come into his streaming room unaware of him being live. However, Dream is merely human and quite forgetful if he’s distracted, and he is easily distracted. Dream hadn’t planned on streaming for at least a few more hours but upon receiving several messages from George and Sapnap pestering him to join them in a discord VC he gladly joins them, going live as he does so. This spur of the moment stream decision is what allows you to slip from his mind as his friends’ laughter reaches his ears upon his arrival into the VC.

“Hey, babe! I ordered your usual from the Chinese place, is that okay?” Your voice pours into the room, Dream’s door now wide open as you look up from our phone to realise the damage you had just caused. Your eyes lock onto the microphone sat on his desk the little red ‘on’ button tauntingly blinking at you, silently mocking you. Dream stills for a moment when you initially enter, looking over to you.

He presses something on his stream board, you assume he’s muted his mic. “I’m streaming, and they definitely heard you. And yeah, my usual is fine.” He motions for you to join him at his desk as you groan. “You’re sure they heard?” You shuffle over to him, when you grow close, he happily pulls you onto his lap. His chin comes to rest on your shoulder, arms wrapping tightly around your middle. “Look at the chat.” You tentatively cast your gaze onto Dream’s second monitor; the chat is running a mile a minute and you can only make out a few phrases. Most of them being a mixture of, ‘WHO WAS THAT?’, ‘IS THAT A GIRL?’ or ‘DREAM HAS A GIRLFRIEND??’

You both knew this day was going to come eventually, keeping it a secret, unfortunately, couldn’t last forever. “What do you think we should do?” You peel your eyes away from chat to watch your boyfriend hum thoughtfully, he’s spent a decent chunk of his time online dealing with controversies and drama. So surely, he has some idea on where we should start with this whole thing, or if we should just refuse to open that can of worms at all. He can always just lie and say it was a tv in the background, or someone passing by a nearby open window.

His suggestion catches you off guard, “Why don’t we just tell them? You don’t have to come on stream or anything but there’s no real point in denying it now. They heard you clear as day babe.” He offers a hopeful look, hand moving to intertwine with one of your own and squeezing. “But it’s entirely up to you. I’ll follow your lead.” Dream presses a soft kiss to your forehead watching as panic continues to flash behind your eyes, his eyebrows are drawn together in worry. “I wouldn’t have been able to survive without you in the early days of my channel. You know I will always return the favour. I’m here for you sweetheart.” His tone lightens at the cheeky pet name, giving your waist a soft squeeze.

With a deep breath, you make your decision. “We’ll tell them. You’re right, there’s no point denying it. I mean, we were gonna tell them eventually anyway.” You shrug a little trying to relax your tense shoulders, he notices and places his cheek against one of your shoulders. “Exactly, this is just a natural progression! Plus, the guys have been asking me for ages about playing with you on stream.” He chuckles, “But we’ll only do that when you start to feel more comfortable obviously.” Dream adds pressing soft kisses to your neck, you feel his grin against your skin as you giggle at the ticklish sensation. “Alright, I’ve been muted long enough. You ready angel?” You nod with mock confidence.

Dream presses a blinking button on his stream board, “Sorry for the short break guys! But I’m back and with a special guest.” Dreams tone lightens as he looks to you expectantly, “Hi chat.” Your voice sounds foreign when you speak mouth feeling as if it was filled with cotton. You watch as the chat explodes with messages, “To all of you who guessed she was my girlfriend, give yourselves a little pat on the back.”

He mocks knowing that the whole chat was begging for that outcome, “Now be nice or I’ll end the stream. Yes, that is a threat.” He smirks as you blush, “Baaaabe.” You smile softly shaking your head exasperatedly, somehow the chat runs by even quicker. “Sorry mods, I’d planned on giving you guys a heads up for when we were gonna announce this but uh, not everything always goes to plan.” Dream chuckles his own eyes widening a little at the sheer number of people who are tuning into the stream, obviously, news has already gotten around Twitter.

Dream leans forward to type furiously on his second monitor trying to control chat as you stammer through your personal introduction, refusing to use your real name of course. Chat runs by with nicknames to call you akin to the naming conventions of ‘Drista’ “Drearlfriend? Like dream and girlfriend? Is that really something I just read in chat?” You laugh, Dream watching as your shoulders relax and a soft smile grace your face. “C’mon chat you guys can do better than that! I was hyping you guys up earlier and this is the reception my angel gets?”

Dream looks to you happily gauging your reaction as you blush and stammer, “Baaaaaaabe.” You groan, trying to cover your face with one of your hands. “Oh no, I want to see that blushing face.” He grins, “Hey! Not on stream!” You cry, face only growing a darker shade of red. He continues to grin but backs off to stop pestering you, your phone buzzes. “Okaaaay. But you’ve gotta stay and keep chat company, because I need to go and grab the Chinese.” He is quick to hop up from the seat, placing you gently back down where he had been. “Wait don’t leave me here!” You cry as he waves with a cheeky grin and disappears from your view.

You audibly gulp before looking back at Dream’s screen pulling on his headphones, “Now that he’s gone put in chat what kind of embarrassing stories you guys want me to spill before he gets back.” You giggle lightly watching chat explode with cheers and suggestions.

Dream returns in a few minutes to see you interacting with chat and laughing along with their jokes like a natural. He simply stands in the doorway for a few moments dumbfounded over how lucky he is to be able to call you his.

#dream x reader #dream #minecraft dream #mcyt #minecraft youtubers #x reader #mcyt x reader

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sprinklesandshatters · 3 years

Text

A Review on NCT 127′s 3rd Album <Sticker>

So NCT 127 just came back with their 3rd Full Album <Sticker> and this is my first 127 comeback since I became a fan last year! Neozone is such a special album for me as it was their first album that I explored entirely. I've known NCT as the group who never fails any expectations so I've kept mine up although I know they'll exceed it anyway. And guess what, they did! I absolutely love their new album hence this review~

This isn't a technical music review—as I am not a musician myself—but rather a listener's honest takes, goofy notes, and interpretation on each of the tracks in the album. I admit I've also struggled to build my own opinions on some of the tracks until I listened to them over and over again.

I have also heard there are mixed opinions on the title track <Sticker> and a lot says it's another acquired taste. But I think it's not just that, as it can be a grower, just like how most of NCT's songs were for me. Maybe after a few listens and a right passage of time, it will grow on those people. The bottom line here is, I like it a lot! 😛

So I listed down the songs according to their respective track numbers and followed each with a bulleted list of my opinions and interpretations.

(Viewer/reader discretion: before you continue, minors, do not interact as there are few 18+ contents under the cut. Thank you.)

1. Sticker

THEY DIDN'T JUST PUNCH A NEW NOTCH ON THE BELT LIKE THAT

THIS SONG SLAPS, LITERALLY SLAPS… AND WHIPS

The recorder at the intro boyyyy I thought something was wrong but then I remember it’s NCT lmao

It already stuck in my head from my first listen from the Instagram audio.

With Taeyong opening the verse with his divine rapping, I knew I'm in for a new ride.

STICK-UH STICK-UGH STICK-UGHGHGH

To those complaining it sounding like noise music, imagine it sounding generic. I don't think it would fit as the title track. Not a b-track or in their repertoire, even. They are called NCT because they define the NEO in the music culture and music technology!

It honestly was an unorthodox, just like all of their title tracks, which I’m inherently here for.

Literally, no one does it like them!

The growls and the vocal flexes and adlibs! (You can tell it has Yoo Youngjin's brand.)

The crisp metronome sound that’s consistently ticking except for the pre-chorus and the dance break adds depth to the soundscape. I love how it’s used instead of the usual snaps.

The production quality blew my mind. Like how can someone think those melodies would sound so exquisite? CAN I CALL THEM GENIUS?

The piano at the back, oh my God—Yes! It adds this mystifying element to the song.

I'm not sure if it's a midi violin at the pre-chorus, but it added thrill to the song. It was a great transition from the bass line in the verses to the combination of the flawless harmony with the same instrumental.

"You treat me like a boy, like a grown-up child chasing a dream" JUNGWOO BABY NO MORE HUH

Taeil, Doyoung, and Haechan—the bridge vocal trinity!

But why the heck are they cowboys? I dig the concept, but why? LMAO

BTW GUNSLINGER MARK I’M ON MY KNEES YEEHAW

This is easily one of my favorite tracks from NCT 127's entire discography 💚

2. Lemonade

(⌐■_■)

Jaehyun starting off this song with his deep voice eee

The song opens to a verse oozing with chill confidence. They're like, yeah you're lurking because we’re cool.

This is such a huge slap to their haters. NCT's not chillin' like a villain, nah they're the main characters!

Well maybe they’re villains, but still ya not cooler than them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Funny enough how they could have just referred haters as simply lemons whose sour/bitter to the taste, but 127 squad's success is sweeter than all the haters' spiteful remarks so yeah, SIPPY SIPPY LEMONADE 🧃

"WOOF"

I might have just barked too wOW

Yuta’s vocals hooooO his voice just sounds so glamorous mhmm

Also Mark referencing their previous title tracks such as: Firetruck, Cherry Bomb, and Regular (it's Irregular in the lyrics) in his rap part 👌💅

I just love Mark's energy when he raps. HE RESOLUTELY BITES AND STRAIGHT UP EATS EVERY TIME HE DOES.

3. Breakfast

Now breakfast time, oh jeez!

AAAHAHFU—

Summer 127's bestie!

If Summer 127 talks about dancing all night long, Breakfast is the morning after.

You know what it is.

"Even if I gulp and drink you, it's not enough for me." oho Taeyong no you ha—STOP

Sexual innuendos aside, isn't it just sweet if someone tells you they'd want to have breakfast with you every day? Okay maybe I'm melting at the thought 😩🙈💞

And I can see myself dancing to this song as I make breakfast (in the afternoon or at midnight bc I’m crazy)

This was an okay b-track for me at the first skim on the album, but boy it grew on me wildly.

Honestly one of my favorite tracks in this album.

4. Focus

Did I just invade a private call? LMAO

The analog voice filters make it like so.

Dude, this feels intimate in the level of eavesdropping a phone call between seasoned lovers. Then you realize you hear them whispering their kinks over the line and you're ooh, that's sexy! hfgklhfhf

My first listen to this, I almost went feral because,

"I can't wait to eat you…" when it's actually "I can't wait 'til we chill…" aahaha

"Baby call me when you want me." OKAY!

This sounds relaxing and chill. I'd love to play this on a late night drive or just before bed time along with Fly Away With Me, Sun & Moon, My Youth, and Long Flight.

Belongs to ‘make out session’ playlist ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That was lowkey a playlist recommendation, huh?

I'd be kidding if I don't say I could touch myself while listening to this song AHAHAFGHFJFJ

I didn't know this would grow on me this much lol I love love LOVE THIS!

5. The Rainy Night

Ooh, the holy melancholy!

Piano at the intro—I knew I'd cry to this.

This song isn't just about break-up, but the heartbreak after one.

The yearning; the remnant pieces from the shattering of what was once there.

I think I crumbled from this one.

This hit so hard I felt like I fit in the shoes with the lyrics throughout the entire song.

What’s fascinating is I clearly forgot the title when I mentally said this sounds like a sad rainy day song from the first listen.

Something I’d turn up when it suddenly rains, just because I want to feel the blues.

Taeil and Haechan singing in lower register? I wanna cry :( they’re just one of the best vocalists in K-music industry right now.

Could have been also nice if they added Yuta to the vocals.

"My selfish heart who waits for you to come back," OKAY WHO HURT THEM?

And the fact that they sang it so good that it translated every ounce of the emotions well even before I looked up for English translations is the reason why I love this song too.

6. Far

Hmm… What the hell?! Do I like this? Wait...

Alright!

The jumpy vibe from the first verse to the pre-chorus set the mood for this song. It sounds merry and heavy. It was honestly too much to take until I’ve reached the chorus part.

Honestly, I think this song could fit NCT Dream better, as it gives off a vibe similar to Hello Future's b-tracks. If some credible source say this could have made HF’s track list, I might believe you too fast.

Also Dream’s Deja Vu where they go na nananananana na na na~

Playful yet confident! That’s what I mean!

As usual, the vocals are insane! Vocal flex from left to right!

I swear Jungwoo sounded a bit like Taemin at the second verse that I had to replay it hahaha

I love hearing Johnny as a vocalist! SM, how many signs do you need until you utilize his vocal talent???

Taeil's part where he sings, "go nuts, go nuts, 'til we go bust, go bust" IDEK BUT I SNORTED A LAUGH AT FIRST LISTEN HFCAHKFHK

Not my favorite, but still great though!

But wait it’s actually stuck in my head???

7. Bring The Noize

Yes, they never beat those noise music allegations

HERE'S SOME NOIZE, BITCHES

I love me some noisy percussions. AND THE BASS YO

This screams so much confidence!

The build up from the pre-chorus to the chorus—FIRE!

This song reminds me a lot of SuperM's Super Car, especially with the engine roar samples and the battle cry-like singing at the chorus.

JAEHYUN RAPPING? You mean Jaehyun the visual, the vocalist, the actor, the model, the funny dude, aka my everything?! (markie bb look pls look away for a moment)

THEY DELIVERED IT STRAIGHT FROM NEOCITY THAT'S SOME NCT MUSIC RIGHT THERE NO ONE DOES IT LIKE THEM

When I said I'd play Focus on a late night drive, and if I add this in the playlist, VROOM VROOM SPEED LIMIT WHAT

OUTTA MY WAY

“We got no shame” ouh TAEYONG’S FLOW IS JUST VERY HIM AND HE’S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN

You know what's so clever about this song? It's how it ended with Mark's final rap without any instrumental, leaving you standing there with a doppler effect-like post experience.

A super car on a super speed just whooshed past you and you look its way as it zips through the road. It's gone in an instant but you're floored dumbfounded at a sidewalk. That's how I describe this song.

8. Magic Carpet Ride

This song… Wow. Oh gosh it's so beautiful.

Their harmony in the chorus—it makes me want to kiss someone so passionately that I'd cry.

This makes me want to feel love that transcends the universe. Literally, just please take me on a magic carpet ride :(

The background harmonies too oh my goodness—HEAVENLY.

Jaehyun's voice is so warm and soulful it fits perfectly with songs of this genre.

Okay alright Doyoung Grande!

And Taeil makes me feel like I'm listening to old school R&B.

The first time I heard this from the track video, I can't stop replaying because it's just that great.

This makes me want to love. I think that sums it up.

9. Road Trip

This is such a soothing song for me, especially how I easily become nostalgic thinking about the road trips I've had.

Whenever I listen to this, my brain immediately conjures up thoughts of my ideal getaways. Gazing at the sky through the car window, stirring up from a nap in the middle of the ride, and eventually reaching your destination.

Oh, to travel around anywhere... (curse you covid-19)

Okay that's it. I'M PACKING UP.

But where do I go—

I could also imagine Mark playing this on the guitar and the other members sing along together, something like that.

Just Wholesome™ vibes.

I love how it evokes such a nice emotion within me effortlessly.

This isn't my favorite, but I still love this.

10. Dreamer

Eyyyy such a refreshing song!

This song is so bright it makes me want to dance. I play this first in the shower!

It reminds me so much of Elevator (from Neozone)

The horns make it more lively I think!

Yuta and Jungwoo's voice suits lively songs like this.

The background vocal in low register in Taeyong's part in the first verse is so good ahhfhf

Taeil, the R&B vocal king you are...

There's this part where Doyoung and Johnny harmonized, that at first listen they seemed to clash, but it sounded actually fine after a few listens. Maybe it's just that I've never heard them do it before.

And I think it's Doyoung's laugh at the end of the bridge? Oh my goodness I really love this too!

11. Promise You

MY FIRST LOVE AND MOST FAVORITE SONG IN THE ALBUM!!!

The first time I heard this from their NCIT Sharehouse Sitcom, I fell in love with the song already.

It sounds like something you'd feel from a warm, welcoming hug.

The lyrics are so beautiful and endearing. It's definitely a be-there-for-you type of song that will touch your heart.

It definitely sounds like a promise.

A song about platonic intimacy.

This really fits to be the closing song of the album. It's like the end of it but holds a promise that says “see you soon.”

Because they cherish their fans like that.

It's also like I've watched a movie with a happy ending, where the camera pans up to the clear sky and this song starts playing.

Speaking of ending, I would love to hear them sing this as an encore stage in their concert. You know, that moment just before the stage lights die down at the end of the concert where they send final blows of flying kisses to NCTzens. Then you come home smiling and crying.

This wasn't supposed to be this long since I originally planned to write this with just simple phrases and emojis but I got too engrossed lol. I also meant to include my own ratings but I figured it’s pointless since I can’t really decide about them hahaha

I really enjoyed the whole album and I love how they're progressively defining what NEO means by breaking through standards. It's not NCT music if it doesn't make you say "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" But then you realize it’s stuck in your head and you’re enjoying it already.

✨ OVERALL RATING: 127/10 💚

if you’ve reached until here, thank you for letting me share you a braincell or two 💞

64 notes · View notes

amarimaryllis · 3 years

Text

I Do Not Think I Would (Bokuto x Reader)

Pairing: Bokuto/Reader

Prompt/Summary: The rational side of you tells you to leave, but for Bokuto Koutarou, you choose to stay. Alternatively, Bokuto Koutarou’s fangirls are ruthless.

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Haikyuu Timeskip Spoilers

Note: I used she/her pronouns for the reader, Bold Italicized sentences are excerpts from the poem “Love is Not All” by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Warnings: Mild Swearing, Mentions of self-hate, Mentions of insecurity, Bokuto has toxic fans

Part of A Sensitivity to Ephemera

You met Bokuto Koutarou in your 3rd year at Fukurodani, but you had known of his existence for longer. It was hard to not know of Bokuto Koutarou if you studied in Fukurodani. Hell, it was hard to not know of him if you studied in Tokyo in general. Aside from the fact that he was the embodiment of solar energy, Bokuto Koutarou also had a ton of admirers.

Fangirls

Fanboys.

And everything in between and beyond.

However, the first time you ever interacted with him was in Honda-sensei’s room. It was quick, a brief encounter that promised longer ones. Bokuto’s grades had been slipping, and you were his assigned tutor.

“Bokuto-san, this is L/N-san from Class 6.” Honda-sensei introduces you two briefly. “She’ll be tutoring you until your grades are back to… Satisfactory. I trust you to not give her a hard time.”

“Nice to meet you, L/N-san!” Bokuto bows briefly, the grin plastered on his face, unfading. However, there’s a sense of urgency in his stance, vibrating, itching to run off. Probably because he had volleyball training, and nothing in this world could keep Bokuto Koutarou from his beloved sport.

You didn’t know why, but your heart was beating a little bit faster than normal.

Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink

Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain;

After a few weeks of tutoring, Bokuto’s grades were slowly getting better. It wasn’t “satisfactory” yet, according to Honda-sensei, but you guys were getting there. As a celebration, right after volleyball practice, Bokuto drags you to the closest cafe and tells you to choose anything you want because it was “on him” as he enthusiastically stated.

“Bokuto-san, you didn’t have to.” You mumble bashfully as Bokuto sets a tray down and seats across from you.

“Don’t worry about it!” Bokuto grins as he slides the food over to you. “It’s the least I can do since you’ve been such a great tutor.”

A small smile makes its way to your face. “I guess I’ll take it then. Thank you for the food!”

As you eat, you can see Bokuto’s eyes continuously flitting back and forth between a spot on your face and away from it. He looked hesitant, but your sudden speaking urges him to reply.

“Is there anything on my face?” You furrow your brows, raising a hand to wipe at your cheek.

“Ah yeah, wait, not there.” Bokuto reaches over the table, a large hand cupping your cheek before he presses his thumb to the corner of your mouth and swipes to remove whatever it was on your face. “You had sauce on your face.”

Fire and ice could co-exist at once, you concluded. Because if it didn’t, then you would like to present yourself as evidence. You were frozen, but inside you, there was an inferno of different emotions swirling, sparked by a single touch on your skin.

That night, after Bokuto had walked you home and you had settled in for the night, you dreamt of black and white streaks paired with the brightest golden eyes. You let yourself dream. You knew that this was the closest you could get to him. The real world wasn’t as kind to you after all.

While you slept soundly, Bokuto walked home. It was raining, but it didn’t matter to him because as the rain drops onto his skin, he wished that it was your touch that fell upon him instead. And for a second as he imagines, it almost felt like it was.

And though he so desperately wished for it as he lied in bed, slumber never came. Instead, in its place, were a hundred different stories, a hundred different futures, a hundred different lifetimes, and they all ended with the sight of a bashful smile, and the prettiest eyes.

Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath,

Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;

You gripped at your skirt tightly, fighting back the tears that threatened to escape your eyes. Fear gripped your chest as you watched Bokuto’s sleeping figure from your place on the chair beside the bed. There had been a small accident during Fukurodani’s practice match, a small collision, but it was enough to send him to the infirmary and you running after him.

It was stupid, you think to yourself. You had rushed to the clinic the moment your break started, and by the time you reached the room, you were a mess. The nurse only gave you a cheeky smile before she patted your back and said, “Don’t worry about your boyfriend. It’s a minor injury and it was probably just an ant bite for someone like him.”

Ant bites didn’t usually require sleep for recovery.

Also, he wasn’t your boyfriend, but you’d be the biggest liar on earth if you said that you didn’t want him to be. You were just his tutor. Sure you’d been tutoring him for a long time, and that was enough to form a friendship of sorts, but that was all you’ll ever be: a friend. So why were you acting like you were something more? Friends get concerned, they’ll drop by, check on you, go off once they realize it’s minor and you’re in good hands, and then wait for you to recover. They don’t stay, fussing, practically crying, and worrying over something so small.

You’re so caught up in your thoughts that the sudden placement of a heavy palm on your head startles you.

Bokuto chuckles as he takes in your disheveled state. Your eyes are damp, your hair is slightly messed up, and your skirt is still tight in your grip, but even then, he still couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the way you looked. “Hey hey hey, did I make you worry that much?”

You can’t help it. He’s recovering, you know that, but you couldn’t stop yourself from lunging at him and enveloping him in a hug. “I hate you so much. Promise me you’ll never make me worry like that ever again.”

Bokuto chuckles and you could feel the vibrations since you two were practically chest-to-chest. “If making you worry means you’ll hug me like this, then I don’t think I can make any promises.”

“Bokuto-san…” You attempt to pull away, but find yourself unable.

Sturdy arms wrap around your waist, and your frozen figure is pulled tighter against Bokuto’s body as he engulfs you with his larger frame. “Do you like me, Y/N-chan?”

You freeze.

Oh hell no.

Out of all the conversations in this world, this one was the one you did not want to have, especially not when you were emotionally vulnerable. You didn’t know if you had enough control over yourself to give the proper answers.

“What? No! I mean yes? You’re my friend, of course I like you.” Your fight or flight response to this conversation seems to have given you ample strength to pull away. You attempt to stand straight and face this problem head on, but your feet are pointing you towards the exit.

Ready to run. From this conversation. From your feelings. From rejection.

Bokuto raises a brow, a teasing grin on his face. “Oh, really?”

Contrary to popular belief (see: Honda-sensei), Bokuto Koutarou was not stupid. Very far from it. While he’s not academically gifted, he’s definitely smart on the people side of things.

You were an open book, and Bokuto was taking his time rereading every page.

“I…” You’re unable to answer, unable to find the words that would make the impending rejection hurt less.

“Well, if it helps—“ Bokuto sits up and sets his feet on the ground, lightly grabbing you to make you stand between his legs. “—I like you a lot.”

Your heart stops. Your world stops. Everything just stops. You’re gaping at Bokuto, mouth closing and opening as you try to find the proper words. You want to reply, eloquently, confidently, to save what’s left of your dignity, but you can only blink back at him.

You weren’t expecting this. Bokuto wasn’t expecting this.

A wave of uncertainty flashes through Bokuto’s eyes, and for a second, he wonders if he misread the situation. “Hey, it’s ok if you don’t feel the same—“

“Wait, no! That’s—“ You take in a deep breath, attempting to calm your racing heart as you try to find your next words. For someone who usually kept a level head, you sure weren’t acting like it. “That’s not it at all. I just… Are you sure?”

Bokuto is confused. He could understand the words individually. He could understand the sentence too, but he couldn’t understand its relevance in this context. What did you mean by ‘are you sure?’. Would he tell you if he wasn’t? Why wouldn’t anyone be sure about you? I mean, it’s you.

“Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?” Bokuto grabs your hand, and he laces his fingers through yours.

You don’t answer as you attempt to arrange your whirlwind of insecurity into one coherent sentence that could sum it all up. You didn’t want to burden him with an entire monologue of self-deprecation, but you couldn’t find a way to express the years of insecurity into one sentence that could do that feeling justice.

Bokuto sees this, and his heart breaks for a second. He was familiar with it. He knew those feelings all too well.

Uncertainty.

Doubt.

Self-Hatred.

“Can I kiss you?” Bokuto blurts out, and as he watches you get flustered, he thinks that this is a much better look on you compared to the one you were previously wearing.

You don’t speak. You just nod.

With that, Bokuto grabs you by the waist and reaches up to press his lips against yours.

It was Bokuto who broke the kiss, breathless as he pressed his forehead to yours. It was almost as if you had taken his breath away to breathe a new life into him with a simple kiss. You can feel his warm breath against your lips, his calloused hands gripping at your waist, and at the same time, you feel nothing. Maybe this is what it felt like to know of everything and nothing all at once. Hyperaware of every feeling, every part of your body that was connected to his, but at the same time you felt weightless, floating on a plane that didn’t seem to exist on earth.

“Can I do that again?” Bokut asks with a grin.

You don’t answer, simply grabbing at his collar and smashing your lips against his.

That was how your love story with Bokuto Koutarou started.

And you wish it ended there.

It well may be that in a difficult hour,

Pinned down by pain and moaning for release,

Bokuto’s fans were ruthless.

Bokuto’s fans are ruthless.

The toxic fangirls? Even more so.

Not all of them are terrible to you, some are kind, but there are enough bad apples that you start wanting to run away the moment you see the tree. His fangirls during highschool only ever went as far as gossipping and making snide remarks, but now that you were older and Bokuto was part of the MSBY Black Jackals, they had gotten worse.

Facebook? You don’t spend time there anyway.

Instagram? You’ve always avoided that place.

Twitter? Ah, good luck.

People are ruthless when they hide behind a screen and a fake name. Anonymity has a way of sparking bravery in even the most sheltered souls. There wasn’t a single tweet on your account that had no comment telling you how you’re not good enough, how Bokuto probably only stayed out of pity, how he’d probably break up with you soon, how they could make him happier than someone like you ever could.

Bokuto doesn’t know. He doesn’t have to know. You don’t want to tell him.

You’re never going to tell him.

It’s pathetic, you think to yourself. You’re afraid that if Bokuto saw these comments, the rose-colored glasses he wore would shatter. You were afraid that these tweets would tip him off the edge and plunge him into the sea of realization. The realization that he could do so much better than someone like you.

You were tired. So tired that you just want to give in to the comments and leave. It’s logical, after all. Bokuto would find someone much better than you. He’d go off, marry a girl deserving of him, and she’ll give him a family, a future, and a life worthy of someone like him. And you? You’d be free. Alone, heart destroyed beyond repair, but free. You could move on, move away, move as far as you could: out of sight, out of mind. It was so easy.

Or nagged by want past resolution’s power,

But you couldn’t.

The only thing you could do was stare at the tweets that dissected each and every single one of your insecurities and laid it bare, waved it around freely for the world to see and judge. You could only let the tears fall as the laptop screen glared back at your face. Everything is numb and you don’t feel like yourself as you scroll through every single comment and find yourself agreeing with each and every single one.

Sobs wrack throughout your body as it all becomes too much.

You’re too weak to stay, too weak to leave. So where do you go? Where the hell are you supposed to place yourself in this world when it feels like everything is going against you? Why was the world doing this to you? Why did it have to be you? You weren’t strong enough for this. You weren’t good enough for this, you never were, never are, and never will be--

“Love?”

You immediately slam the laptop shut and throw the covers over your body as if you had been there the whole time instead of sitting at the edge of the bed and crying over comments.

“Hey…” The side of the bed sinks. “Bad day?”

The fucking worst. You thought to yourself, but you only shook your head before burying your head deeper into the covers of your shared bed.

“Don’t wanna talk about it?” You can hear the worry in Bokuto’s voice as he places his hand on your waist over the blanket, rubbing up and down to soothe you.

Some part of you finds the courage to speak, and the words tumble out of your mouth faster than your brain can process them. “Why are you still with me?”

“Because I love you.” Bokuto doesn’t hesitate as he looks at your still-covered figure.

“What if you stop?” You mumble, but it was loud enough for Bokuto to hear,

“Not possible.” Bokuto gently pries the blankets away from you, uncovering your form that was curled up into a fetal position.

“But— Just—“ You turn the other way, unable to look at him. “What if you do?”

“Like I said—” You can feel the mattress behind you dip lower, sturdy arms moving to wrap around your waist as Bokuto nuzzles his face into your nape. “—not possible.”

With that, the tears start flowing once more.

You bury your face into the pillow, not wanting to show Bokuto because you knew that the sight of you crying wasn’t something he liked. He hated seeing you in distress, and he hated that the only thing he could do was talk you through it and comfort you.

“Hey hey hey…” Bokuto pulls away and makes you sit up straight before he sits against the headboard and pulls you to sob into his chest. “Where’s this coming from? What’s wrong?”

“Everything’s wrong.” You spat angrily, your grip on his shirt tightening. Anger at yourself, anger at the universe, all summed up in a single sentence. “Nothing ever goes right anymore, and I’m just—“

Your speaking is interrupted as another wave of sobs. “I’m so tired.”

You can feel Bokuto freeze, his hand that was rubbing your back stopping as he takes in your words. “Of what?”

“Everything.” You murmur, your grip on Bokuto’s shirt loosening as you press your forehead against his neck. “Just everything.”

“Does that include me?” You can hear Bokuto’s voice waver as his grip around you gets weaker. “Are you… Are you breaking up with me?”

You’re silent for a while. Was this it? Was the universe making the choice for you?

Whatever it was, you take it.

You pull away and look down, unable to stare into Bokuto’s eyes. You didn’t know if you could pull through if you could see the look on his face as you say your next words. “If it means that it will all stop, then maybe I should.”

Bokuto’s heart shatters, and his world follows in its footsteps. He can feel the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He knew you had been acting off the past few days, but he gave you some space so that you could sort it out until you were ready to finally approach him. But this? He wasn’t prepared for this.

“Why?” There’s a painful tug at your chest as you hear Bokuto speak in such a broken tone. “Did I do something wrong?”

“It’s not you. It’s me.” You cringe inwardly at your statement. Of all the things you could’ve said, you just had to say the most overused line in all of break-up history. “Bokuto, you—“

“It’s Kou.” You can hear Bokuto’s voice crack at the end. “It’s not Bokuto to you, Y/N. It’s Kou. Whatever it is just tell me, please I can fix it—“

“I’m the problem, okay?!” You couldn’t stop yourself from raising your tone, standing up from the bed to distance yourself from Bokuto. “I’m not good enough for you. I don’t deserve you. They’re right when they say that you could do so much better than me—“

You’re cut off as a sob pulls itself from your chest. Your chest is tight, your head is throbbing. Your legs are shaky and you couldn’t stop yourself from falling to your knees as you continue to cry. “I-I just… I know I don’t, but I-I’m so tired of b-being constantly r-reminded that I’m never g-going to be enough.”

“Y/N, none of that is true. Who told you that?” Bokuto’s tone gives away the pain he was feeling, but there was a hint of anger underneath it all.

You don’t answer, shaking your head, continuing to sob as Bokuto moves from the bed to kneel in front of you.

“Love, who told you that?” Bokuto places a comforting hand on your thigh as his other hand lightly grabs you by the chin to make you look at him.

“Everyone.” You wondered how pathetic you looked in his eyes right now. “Not a single day passes by where I’m not reminded by your fans. It’s stupid to keep listening to them, but they’re right—“

Bokuto cuts you off with a brief kiss, just enough to shut you up to give him a chance to speak as he moves to cup your cheek in his palm. “No, they’re not. They never will be.”

You don’t reply. You don’t argue, but you don’t agree either.

“Don’t break up with me, please.” Bokuto cups your face with both of his hands, occasionally brushing his thumb over your cheek as he presses his forehead against yours. “You mean the world to me. You’re absolutely perfect the way you are, and I know you don't believe that.”

You sob at that, and Bokuto is quick to press a kiss against your forehead and pull you into his chest. “If I have to spend my entire life reminding you of that then I will.”

I might be driven to sell your love for peace,

Or trade the memory of this night for food.

Bokuto hovers over you, his arms on either side of your holding him up as he looks at you with the most lovestruck look you’ve ever seen on someone.

“You’re perfect.” Bokuto whispers against your lips before he presses a searing kiss against your lips. “Absolutely perfect.”

Bokuto presses his weight against yours, pulling your bodies closer to each other as he continues to kiss you breathless. You wrap your arms around his neck, an attempt to blur the boundaries of skin, muscle, and bone that separate your soul and his. He pulls you closer against him, his fingers digging deeper into the flesh of your hips as he trails his kisses down your neck and every expanse of skin that was laid bare for him.

“I love you so much.” Bokuto whispers repeatedly against your skin between every kiss he puts on you. “So much.”

As you laid beside Bokuto, his arms wrapped around your waist and your face nuzzling into his bare chest, the thoughts of ever leaving slowly become more distant and fade away into oblivion. His chest rises and falls, and you find your breathing slowly matching his as you observe his sleeping face, peaceful, unbothered by all the troubles of the world beyond your bedroom.

You smile to yourself. All rational thought tells you to leave, but for Bokuto Koutarou...

It well may be. I do not think I would.

A/N: That’s two parts of the collection down, and three more to go! This one was supposed to be the lightest out of the five, but my finger slipped so... Whoops? HAHAHAGDHDHSJHS Anyway, I hope you guys like this one! 💖

#bokuto x reader #bokuto koutarou #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #genre.angstfluff #cont.spoilers #tw swearing #tw self deprecation #tw insecurity

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ameliasbitvh · 3 years

Text

ahhhh! thank you all soso much for the 300 followers! i just hit 200 last week?! how are there 300 of you? i honestly don’t know, but i started this account as a place to just read smut and then i decided to post on here. the reason why my first post was angst was because i was being a slut for angst to feel something in those few moments- okay i’ll stop myself right there. for this milestone i’m going to do mutual appreciation for the moots i’ve interacted with the most so far! (if we’re moots and u wanna interact pls do, i’m not scary!)

okayy first up,

@underappreciated-spoon-321

i love you so much bby, i could not believe it when you followed me. i was legit crying happy tears and i specifically remember you followed me after i posted “needy” random lol.

your writing is immaculate, absolutely lovely. ur smut *chefs kisses* i love that you put up with my shit photos that i send you and that you actually ask for more- but it baffled me when you first interacted with me, this was my reaction

*deep breath* “omfg! (ur username) just interacted with me, wtf do i do?!” also ur nick name reminds me of belly from dear, draco.

i’m not writing a lot, bc for your sleepover i wrote you a damn paragraph 😭 but i love u sm belly!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

@dracoskinks

ARI! i love talking to you, bc i can talk about anything and when i say anything i mean anything. like kinks, porn, random draco scenarios, etc… you are one of the funniest people i have seen on this app.

ur blunt and funny at the same time, it just makes it more fun to talk to you. ur smut is soso good, bc i don’t find a lot of smut with a dom!reader and sub!draco.

i remember you followed me, so out of curiosity i checked out your blog and saw your piss kink fic and that did it for me. after that i followed you back and we became moots ajnwja. when ur first account got terminated you scared me so fucking much, because i thought you were going to leave tumblr forever. don’t. ever. play. like. that. again. i’m glad we became moots bc i fucking love you <3

@opalsheart

I LOVE YOU SM! i think u were the first moot that i interacted with in direct messages, bc you had tea to spill, and ever since than we’ve been #4lifers. you send me edits and hate on t*m felton with me on instagram. you were the first mutual to know what i looked like lmaoo. u r an absolute goddess, bestie, like what- i know that you can pull anyone you want, so stop playing when you talk about someone.

even though we have a fucking 12 hour time difference, we still find time to talk to each other. it is so fun talking with you and the fact that when we talk it’s night for one of us. you let me send that stupid tik tok of ed sheeran and t*m felton to you and it probably haunts your dreams now ajnwajsj-

i appreciate that you study ur MF ass off for your exams, bc i could never. and you even send me those cute memes when i wake up- also we better be watching those true crime documentaries, bc i’m still waiting. idc if we have a time difference :) anyways ILY SM ELLIE !! <3

@laceycallisto

okay- where do i even get started with this. we first interacted when i reblogged that draco fan fic and we reblogged talking about how desperate we were trying to find that iconic fic. and i forgot that the creator could see all the reblogging we were doing- you texted me directly about adding my name into your tags, which obviously i agreed to. then we just started talking about random shit like how we were superior because we were june geminis. or how we talked about being in love with remus lupin.

i have vivid flash backs of how your remus fic hurt me. i cried my false lashes off proof reading janajaj- bestie- you’ve seen me cry ajnwja- your writing is ethereal, i don’t know how you can see that? your so nice too, like girly u gave me ur netflix within like a day of knowing each other 💀 we watched bridgerton in two mother fucking sittings. we ate that bridgerton hoe up!

all ur input on the scenes were so funny like the “with child” and “dicking” comments 😭 i love how it’s so easy to talk to you about everything, like how dumb i am- even talking about the privilege of being poc and not burning in the sun. bruh u even let me tag u in dumb tik tok videos, like what?! and i think your the only mutual i have that’s in the same time zone as me… also we better binge the next season. but ily sm, ur like my older sister, even if u say ur life is shitty 😭 <3

@dracomalfoys-wh0re

honestly, kacia. i owe a lot to you for my account being “found” or whatever, bc you reblogged a fic of mine, i’m pretty sure it was “common room” and that’s when i started getting notes and followers najajwjwj- you might not know that but i do 💀 i will forever remember that.

you literally were one of the first accounts ever- to follow me. and i won’t lie, i went crazy when u followed me because i love your fics so much! you are so funny and blunt too i swear 😭

and can we talk about your tom riddle fic? like?!the fact that you really showed tom’s true personality and character. every world had me enthralled further into the fic, the way you wrote him is exactly how i think tom riddle would act towards his s/o. his toxicity and gaslighting is too accurate.

moving on from the discussion of your fic, which is amazing, ily sm babe!!

@yoooespinosa

we’ve interacted a few times and when u texted me directly saying that you thought i was sweet, i literally went, “omg- people think i’m sweet” in a good way, not bad jkwajjw- can i just get started on your writing, because oh. my. fucking. god. it is the most captivating and heart breaking thing i’ve ever seen- the emotions that you put into every word completes the entire fic. every angst piece that you have written, made me cry or made something inside me just twist with sadness. it is truly lovely and magnificent.

how do ur fics not get thousands of notes? because everyone should see what you write, it’s unfair that others haven’t seen your fics. when u explained your dream to me, i swear you practically wrote a whole fic 😭

i remember u said that you wanted to do a face reveal, but we’re scared. bestie what are you scared of? you look like an ANGEL!! and if anyone were to disagree, they are obviously blind. but ily bestie <3

@o-rion-sta-r

BESTIE BAE ORION i love you so much!interacting with you is honestly so fun. and i remember like literally yesterday we were trying to figure out ari’s time zone and we were freaking out. you, ari, and me all have a fucking time difference 😭 it sucks so much!

at least every day you ask me how my days been and i think that’s so sweet, because before i got on tumblr people didn’t ask that question. i appreciate that you ask me that and just random questions in general, because i love interacting with you so much. and you should start writing bby! i will reblog anything you write, also ily sm <3

@ilygw

we don’t talk a lot, but you seem like a fun person! i love seeing all the edits you post on here, bc honestly i need more ferret boy content. i know there is a lot, but i feel like i’ve seen all of them. until i see you posting a new edit and i’m like, “okay… i guess i haven’t seen every draco edit” but that’s all i have lol, ly!!

@arcaneslut

to be honest, you seemed so intimidating to me. i know you said you’re not, but to me you seemed really scary even though i knew you weren’t 😭 i just interacted with you recently and you are so sweet i swear! i love all ur fics, especially “and then i felt nothing” because when i read this fic you better believe i was crying so hard- to the point where i couldn’t breath- everything was written so beautifully, i couldn’t believe it.

i love how one thing we share in common is losing our phones 💀 but i just wanted to say thank you for explaining the whole sleepover and celebration things to me! even tho we just started interacting i already love u!!

moots bc i’m in love with all of them: @just-a-smol-spoon @dreamy-clousds @dracoskinks @unedibledaisyduck @thatsassyhufflepuff @a-aexotic @l0vely-lupin @gothboutique @wolfstar4lifee @littlemissnoname13 @deatthfairy @arcaneslut @ladyvesuvia @laceycallisto @dracossweetprincess @the-lonely-poet-loves-to-weep @realityblocked @harmqnia @yoooespinosa @opalsheart @lilscloud @cupids-crystals @mellifluousart @lunas-kisses @malfoysmainb @klauscarolove @crystxlss @beforeoursunsets @marrymetheonott @queeriacs @electriclocean @dlmmdl @o-rion-sta-r @sfdlm @ilygw @desiredmalfoy @underappreciated-spoon-321 @draco-and-tom @hellounicorn @mugglesthesedays @dracomalfoys-wh0re

if i didn’t tag u it’s bc i can’t tag more than 50 blogs :(

#eve’s 300 moot appreciation

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ivyglow · 3 years

Text

I don’t want you like a best friend - Andre Burakovsky

A/n: Sooo, I wrote this as some kind of gift to my best friend because she loves Andre and she was trying to get me on his train (I guess she did?). She’s always hitting me with “no but you should definitely write about Tito/Andre”. Here’s your piece @skarsgardswiftie I hope you like it! <3 I love you sm Also, a huge shout out to @sebs-aston for proofreading this with such an attentive eye! You’re amazing, liv!

Requested: yes / no

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: brief mention of alcohol

Summary: you’re friends with Andre, but things are about to change after you create a TikTok account and start doing challenges that may lead to news between you and your favorite hockey player.

When it comes to capturing a moment you’re usually the person your friends think about, not simply because you’re always carrying a camera -mainly because of it-, but because you’re great with what you do -either photos or videos-. That’s also why your Instagram profile has more followers than an ordinary girl would and it’s the only place people can find you -besides e-mail-. However, that changed when your best friend -Callie- convinced you to create a TikTok account. You, of course, hated it, but she had the perfect opportunity -you were a bit tipsy, all your friends around, sunny weekend and so it goes.

“Mikko, do you think I’m pretty?” You direct the camera to his face while looking expectantly.

Saturday evening rolled around, the hot weather forcing your friends either to the inside of the pool or under the sunshade and their hands busy with cold drinks. It was a happy day, everyone was around, and you were enjoying the vacation. You had met half of the Hockey team as soon as you moved to Colorado and Erik, your and your brother’s hometown best friend decided you needed to know his crew and the city around. Six months later and you knew pretty much everyone and everything.

“Of course I think you’re pretty” he gives you a confused look before you turn to Tyson giggling.

“Josty, do you think I’m pretty?” you ask and he looks straight at the camera “I would give you 5 out of 10 cause you’re bro.”

You laugh and turn to Andre this time.

“Andre, do you think I’m pretty?”

He seems taken aback by the question and unlike Tyson, he stares at you. “Of course you’re pretty.”

You keep to your task and last but not least is Nathan, he’s sitting at a table while working on some drinks and you take him by surprise by jumping in front of him. “Mac, do you think I’m pretty?”

He rolls his eyes playfully and turns his attention to you for some seconds before looking at his drink again, “I would one hundred percent date you if you were not my sisters’ best friend”

And then your time is over.

“So you’re a tiktoker now?” Erik sits beside you and Nathan just as you uploaded the video. He raises his eyebrows and you roll your eyes lightly, “you know I hate TikTok, but it’s fun, so…”

“She’s gonna end up famous there too”, Andre announces leaning his body on the table and motioning for Nathan to refill his drink. Your eyes roam on his big hands grasping the red cup, his cheeks red from the sun, and the way you could see his dimples when he smiled at you, his hair messy in a cute way.

“Why do you think that?” now he has three pairs of curious eyes staring at him.

You almost chuckled when his point finger scratched his chin. His skin glowing, “I mean, you’re funny and cute…cute girls get famous on TikTok” he reasoned.

“Is this your best, Burki?” Erik asks and for the way his lips were tight against each other you knew he wanted to laugh.

“C’mon, let them be,” Nathan said after giving the blond American a new cup, and before you could ask what was the matter Callie was calling you at the door.

Your best friend started a rant about how she was going to get Chinese take-out for dinner and when you told her she should get Thai too -because it was Andre’s favorite- she started another rant about how you should tell him you’re in love and how it was cute the way you two functioned but also annoying. All you could do was savor your drink and mentally play a Taylor Swift song while she went on, “I mean it, y/n! Just tell him already…”

“Have you seen Andre?!” you whisper-scream to her and Callie sights rolling her eyes, “what about him?”

Swallowing the last sip of your drink you start to draw doodles on the glass with your fingers, “I’m just y/n, he’s Andre Burakovsky”. You usually were not insecure about your looks, but it was Andre, and the fact that he was a famous and good-looking hockey player made you question how in heavens he would like you back. Hell, you were not even sure how you two ended up in such a close friendship, he always being so affectionate and listening to everything you had to say. Your friendship seemed like the most you could take from the interaction. You knew he was ‘just Andre’ too when all your friends were gathered, but being ‘just Andre’ was as amazing as being Andre Burakovsky the hockey player.

“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever met, y/n, and I don’t mean considering only your looks, but everything. You’re funny, smart, and always so attentive with everyone, you listen to everything and always have nice things to say, don’t you ever doubt your value, you hear me?” Callie’s words make you sit up straight in the stall and your eyes water.

“In my defense, this is not me crying, this is tipsy me having an emotional moment”, you joke and it’s seconds before the two of you are laughing the way you used to during a John Mulaney show.

…

It was night when you unlocked your phone only to find a bunch of notifications from TikTok, some of the comments from fans about how happy the boys seemed, but most were about the way Andre looked at you when you asked the question. According to the most liked comment “this is clearly a friends to lovers, mutual pining, unaware love and slow-burn situation” which made you giggle but also replay the video a dozen times trying to figure out if there was really something there and you were the unaware one.

Needless to say, you weren’t able to reach a conclusion, but it felt different when you excused yourself to take a shower after spilling wine in your shirt and you felt Andre’s eyes on you all the way to the stairs. His hands on your shoulders felt heavier and the way he was attentive whenever you needed a refill or wanted a bite of food seemed more intimate and caring than ever.

Hitting the shuffle button, you chose your Taylor Swift playlist before entering the shower. The cold water cooled you off a bit, it was almost like washing out part of the alcohol in your system, but your tipsy mind kept finding evidence that Andre liked you back.

You went through your clothes finding a floral summer dress and sipping on your wine while brushing your hair. Your body was still feeling hot and at this point, you didn’t know if it was from the sun on your face or the alcohol in your system, but when you heard the first notes of “Dress” playing you knew you were going to do something stupid, especially because your cell phone was one arm away. If someone asked you where the idea came from you wouldn’t know what to answer, and usually thinking about how you didn’t have an answer was enough to make you give up on some stupid ideas...not this one though.

Reaching for your phone you unlocked it and walked to the body-length mirror in the room you were sharing with Callie. It took less than 2 minutes to snap a picture and send it to him and it took him less than 1 minute to answer it.

‘Woah’

‘You liked it?’ you sent back

‘Yeah, you’re looking good, cutie’ he answered just as fast, before sending a red heart emoji.

‘I don’t want you like a friend’

‘and I only bought this dress so you could take it off’

It was the exact line Taylor was singing when you reached the send button. You saw the dots appearing and disappearing and your body sobered up even more than before.

“Fuck!” you almost voiced. How would he look at you after this? Could you pretend you confused him with someone else? Of course not, he was the only Andre you knew! And everyone knew better you were not the bold flirty type.

That was it, your secret was spilled just like your wine on your shirt earlier, but now you wouldn’t be able to clean off the stain.

Would he believe it if you told him it was a prank to your new TikTok account?

You were lost in your thoughts before three knocks on your door startled you. And there he was when you pushed the door open. Standing with his hands inside his pockets and his hair still messy, he stared at you. It took maybe five minutes before he spoke, but it felt like an eternity considering his intense eyes studying you.

“You’re looking even better this close” for some reason his voice is low like he didn’t want anyone to hear and pop the bubble of the moment.

You feel your body getting hotter, pretty sure your face is turning even redder, so you reach your hands to both of your cheeks. That gets a giggle out of Andre and you instantly move them to your back, your eyes now staring at his bare feet.

All you wanted to do was bury yourself on a rabbit hole until Andre lost his memory, or you lost yours. You were thinking about the possibility of a secret society -Alice in Wonderland style- inside the rabbit hole that you could live in forever when Burki extended his hand, his palm facing you, silently asking you to put your hand in his. So you did. And it was only a blink of an eye before his body was closer, almost touching yours.

“You’re not that drunk, are you?” he questioned.

You shook your head no and he moved his hand to your waist as a message that maybe -and only maybe- he wanted to be close too. So you moved your right one to his large shoulders.

“I’m glad you’re not drunk…”

“I’m just a bit hot and bothered” and dying out of shame! You screamed inside your head.

“Oh sure you are”, he replied with a small smile playing at the corner of his pink lips. Your brows raised in confusion and before you could ask, he answered, “hot. You’re hot”.

“Does it mean you’re gonna take my dress off?” you have no idea when you got so bold, but Andre seemed amused with everything.

“No, not tonight. You’re not drunk, but you’re a bit tipsy, I don’t want to start things like this” his fingers are in your cheekbone and you lean into him. “I’m gonna kiss you though, can I?”

His lips, so different from his hands, were soft and hot. They found yours timidly, exploring the space while his body welcomed yours closer, he took his time before his fingers were in your hair and his tongue caught your lips.

It felt good.

Like never before.

For some seconds you wished to be able to capture the moment and save it forever. Repeat it in your head every day.

Andre played with the strings of your dress, slipping it off your shoulders and you got into your tiptoes to peck his lips one last time.

“So...I take you really liked the dress?”

“I actually like you, the dress is a bonus” he shrugs and you giggle before finding yourself wrapped in another kiss.

#andre burakovsky #andre burakovsky imagine #Colorado Avalanche #hockey imagine #mels writing #nathan mackinnon #tyson jost #erik johnson

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mae-gi-writes · 3 years

Note

hi maemae, what about i got you by bebe rexha with either ju/sangyeon? 🙈

AHHHH Yu! MY NUMBER ONE MOOT WHO’S BEEN THERE FROM DAY 1! I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR REQUEST <3 Heree we go for some sangyeon feels 🌹🌹🌹 Also I got carried away with this but oh welll this is what happens when you’re on a roll xx

-----

I got you | l. sangyeon

Song request: I Got You - BeBe Rexha

Genre: angst/fluff

Everything has been so hard.

Your work. Your social life. Your eating habits. Your entire life.

You’ve carved yourself into a hole that keeps on crumbling upon you, piles and piles of responsibility that keep getting thrust in your face the more you try struggling. Work has turned into a boring, monotonous routine of getting to the office, spending eight hours straight staring at your screen, then going back home and collapsing onto your bed with no energy left. You haven’t seen your friends since forever and your phone which usually blew up with messages is now silent and empty, void of any human interaction that you crave for.

It’s harder these days because of the pandemic and you know that this will pass eventually. You just can’t seem to figure out how.

Which is why you find yourself drowning in a bottle of wine by the time Friday evening rolls around. Sitting outside upon your porch and letting its bittersweet aftertaste drip down your throat like medicine, you’re not quite sure what you’re aiming for really -- whether it be to throw up or pass out -- until there’s a soft knock at your door.

Groggily opening up with a confused frown, you see none other than Sangyeon’s face and immediately reel back with shock.

“What are you doing here?!” you screech out. If you had known, you would’ve tried making an effort with your appearance! Unconsciously, your hand finds its way to your hair in an attempt to detangle its knots.

“You look terrible,” is his response. He doesn’t wait before blundering past you into the kitchen and settling down what looks like a bunch of takeaway containers, “Why have you been avoiding my calls?”

You flinch out of impulse. He’s right; you have been avoiding your maybe-boyfriend most of all, merely due to the fact that you can’t help feeling like a failure and wondering how lowly he must think of you.

Sangyeon is the epitome of a hard worker, starting out as a mere waiter in a quaint noodle shop and toiling hard for two years before he got promoted as a sous-chef. Then, his manager has seen so much potential in him that Sangyeon got appointed as the head chef a year later.

You know all this because you’ve seen him go through it and grow through every single obstacle sent his way, circulating in the same friend group and sharing the same passion for food. However, it hasn’t been long since this friendship has slowly budded into something you’d like to believe is a start of a romance.

Not that either of you made it clear. It’s something, but what? You’re not quite sure yourself.

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N!”

“Huh?” you snap back to reality, blushing upon realizing the lack of distance between your faces, “oh--sorry. What did you say?”

“I asked you why you’ve been avoiding my calls,” there’s a tone of exasperation in his voice. But a little more than that. You’d like to believe that it’s concern, “are you okay, Y/N? You really look like--”

“I’m fine,” you cut him off, turning away before he can spot the slight tremble in your lip, the slow tears building at the corner of your eyes.

A warm hand grasps your forearm, “tell me.”

It’s an order. One that you can’t help to oblige. You swivel around slowly, embarrassed that he -- your biggest crush -- gets to see you like this, in such a horrible, vulnerable state.

You hate it. Yet, once the tears start silently carving silvery paths down your cheeks, there’s no stopping them.

Sangyeon pulls you into his chest with a soft sigh, allowing his arms to encircle your waist while one of his hands comb through your hair. You cry silently in his shoulder, fully aware of the growing wetness seeping through his shirt, but his grip doesn’t lessen when you try tugging back.

Instead, he holds you a little tighter, murmuring into your ear, “come on, let it out.”

You’ve never been a fan of loud crying. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re so used to keeping in your sobs, stuffing your blanket into your mouth in order to restrain the tears, the pain, the suffering. But Sangyeon stays even so, hand continuously smoothing along your head and down your back in a way that renders you soft and mellow against him.

When you have no tears left to cry, he does the job of pulling away slightly so that his face hovers just millimetres from your own. You hope you don’t look like shit.

“I brought you some pasta,” he murmurs, “cooked by yours truly.”

And you swear it’s the best fucking pasta you’ve ever eaten in your life. You’re not entirely sure how you manage to finish a whole plate -- considering you’d barely had any appetite these days -- but you have to admit that you feel much, much better after finally leaning back into your cheek with a full stomach.

Sangyeon eyes you from his side of the table, chuckling at the look of satisfaction on your face.

“What?” you’re about to scowl, but then remember that you shouldn’t put your walls up so high. It’s only Sangyeon. Only Sangyeon.

"Should’ve started by giving you the pasta,” his eyes, warm and tender and just so fucking beautiful, sparkle in the dim light of the kitchen, “maybe then you wouldn’t have cried over my shirt.”

“Oh shut up,” you snap back half-heartedly. He knows there’s no bite to your tone.

His leg nudges yours underneath the table and, prompted to gaze up at him, he asks, “what’s going on, Y/N?”

You bite your lower lip. Eyes fixing onto the table top before you, you decide to spill everything. Everything.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sangyeon’s voice is rough wth concern, annoyance that permeates through. But you’re adamant on not making eye contact, so adamant that you hear his chair scrape back, then the soft pad of his feet over to your side of the table.

Warm fingers cup your chin, leaving you with no choice but to face him as your eyes quickly slip downwards.

"I didn't want to trouble you," is what spills from your lips in a soft murmur, "I'm not used to people worrying about me and I guess...I just got used to it. Dealing with that shit on my own."

You don't have to look at him to know that his gaze is soft and warm. It makes you want to curl up in his lap and burrow your face into hid chest, away from the world.

As if reading your mind, Sangyeon tugs you closer so that he can hug you properly, "I got you," his murmur brushes against your ear, "I got your back Y/N. And you can tell me anything. I don't care if you think it's none of my business. I want to know."

He holds you in silence for a while, the only sound echoing through your ears being his heartbeat. A soft thumping against his chest, vibrating with every breath taken.

It's almost like a miracle, the way your body softens underneath his touch like it has been waiting for him all along. With Sangyeon there, it feels easier to breathe, not to think so much.

"Thank you," you whisper, clearing your throat. You repeat yourself once more for good measure, to which he chuckles and presses the lightest of kisses atop your head.

"Next time, you'll tell me. Right?" He cocks his head to look at you.

You pull back slightly to gaze up at him in the dim back light of the dining room. It's crappy lighting and yet, it curves along his features so nicely.

"Fine," you mumble after realizing you hadn't answered him yet, "I'll try."

A smile breaks over his face. He kisses your cheek then, causing heat to spring up over your face, "that's a promise then."

80 notes · View notes

2jaeh · 3 years

Text

Bubble ♡︎ | Na Jaemin

Genre : Fluff humor

You’re subscribed to Jaemins bubble, excited just like every other fan to recieve his message for today until his new messages don’t seem like the others.....

-—————————————————————————

“What’s taking so long ?” You stared blankly at the LYSN* app while stretching your legs onto your leather couch.

You switched over to the Twitter app and scrolled through your timeline, briefly reading through whatever was the latest topic on nctzen Twitter. One tweet caught your attention which made you chuckle out loud

Nananotifs: “I’m pretty sure Haechan finally threw Jaemin’s phone out of the dorm window bc.......”

All Nanadoongies gathered on Twitter to complain about the absence of Jaemin especially since he was the only one who hadnt reposted Chenle’s beloved pup Daegal.

You sighed and switched back to the LYSN app and noticed you were able to send one more message to Jaemin before the app blocks you off until he sends a new message.

Y/n: nana I miss you please say something

JAEMIN: y/n did you eat today ? I’ve missed you!

Your eyes widened at the immediate message you received from your ult. Was is coincidental ? Ofcourse it was, they don’t get notifications from fan messages do they ?

You immediately switched over to Twitter already seeing the bubble update account sharing Jaemins new message along with the entire timeline screaming over his activity.

~boominana: “how dare he act so normal I’m gonna cry !!!!”

~jaeminjenos: “post a selfie Jaemin don’t be shy”

~dreamies023: “he’s probably busy guys let him post when he wants to”

The last account was right. Jaemin was probably so busy. It was nice that he still found time out of his schedule to message nctzens and that’s what you loved most about him.

Y/n: Jaemin you’re stressing everyone out on Twitter lol let us know you’re doing ok we love you !

JAEMIN: am I ? :/

Was it a delayed message ? You shook your head and decided it was probably just another glitch on the app.

Y/n: yes stop ghosting us !

JAEMIN: ghosting ? ㅋㅋㅋ so dramatic

You froze. There was absolutely no way that from the tons of messages he would be recieving right now that yours would be the one he read and responded to.

The interaction made your heart race and quickly switch over to Twitter, it was probably chaos right now wondering what Jaemins messages could mean.

Silence.

Everyone on the timeline moved on from Jaemins first message and there were no updates on the messages you had just received from him.

PING!

JAEMIN: y/n ~ are you not going to answer me ? How am I ghosting you :(

This could not be real. You felt a lump in your throat as you checked over your other bubble subscriptions which all seemed fine except for his. You had no idea how to feel or what to do.

Y/N: this is weird. Send me a selfie so I know you’re actually replying to me and not a bot -_-

About 15 minutes went by and you stared at the open chat. He had read your message but there was no reply.

“Humh it was a bot after all” you huffed, about to close the app when your phone pinged and you saw Jaemins name pop up.

A voice note.

“Hey y/n, I hope I’m saying your name correctly hehe So long story short I think the chat glitched and your name and profile pic added itself to my own bubble. Weird right ? Mark Hyung told me I should send a voice note because it will make you believe me a bit more and .....well we would know if you posted on Twitter which CANNOT happen hahaha you understand right ?”

What was happening right now.

You pinched yourself to make sure you didn’t accidentally fall asleep on the couch and start having a very eerie realistic dream.

JAEMIN: I know you’re shocked rn but I really enjoy reading your replies haha it was the best part of my day and well I couldn’t help myself today. I wanted to tease you lol

Y/N: wait so how long has this “glitch” happened for ?

JAEMIN: hmmm....about a month now I think...after you renewed your account I think hehe

Y/N: what ??? Omg I’m so embarrassed......

JAEMIN: there’s nothing to be embarrassed about trust me. I’ve read everything czennies have sent me haha I find it amusing.

You exhaled deeply and scrolled through some of the messages you have sent him during this month and thankfully none of them were cringeworthy.

Y/N: so...now what? Should I speak to app support and fix this....unsubscribe or something....

JAEMIN: LOL youre really funny. Imagine finding out you can speak to someone from your fav idol group and you want to call tech support ...LOL so funny Mark Hyung is laughing

You felt your cheeks heat up at the image of Na Jaemin and Mark Lee laughing at your messages.

JAEMIN: please don’t be embarrassed y/n ! I only did this bc well I have your profile now and you’re really cute.

This was NOT happening.

Y/N: Uh......

JAEMIN: what do you have a boyfriend ? ....

Y/N: no I don’t I’m just....it’s nothing never mind

JAEMIN: LOL so cute! So do you have Kakao ?

Y/N: you want my number ? Why ? .....

JAEMIN: to talk to you obviously! What if they fix the glitch and I’ll never be able to talk to you again..

Jaemin wanted to talk to you. He was trusting you wholeheartedly to add him on his private account. Did he have an idea of the kind of person you were ? How could he possibly risk his career to a nobody ?

Y/N: I do have kakao it’s YN_0023.... Jaemin I won’t say anything but are you sure this is okay ?

JAEMIN: yeah I’ll video call you and we can talk about it ...adding you now. Clear this chat after you get my text!

VIDEOCHAT ?

Is he absolutely insane ? Maybe the voice note was fabricated. Maybe this was some weirdo trying to prey on innocent fangirls. Maybe -

Nana00: heyyyyyyyyy :)

Y/n: hi Uhm is this ...Jaemin ...

Nana00: yup (inserts a pic with your username on a sheet of paper)

Y/n: holy shiiiiit

By now you were already pacing across your entire apartment trying to come to terms with what was going on in your life right now. It became a force of habit to constantly check Twitter and make sure by chance somebody mentioned a glitch of some sort or SM announcing that the app is under construction or SOMETHING.

‘This couldn’t be real’ you thought.

Nana00: lol you’re so funny so are you free to video call ?

Y/n: Uhm......are you sure that’s a good idea ?

Nana00: yeah I mean firstly I would like to know you’re real too lol and also I want to know if I can trust you with this information.....it’ll be quick I promise

Y/n: well....okay give me 10minutes please

Nana00: lol sure :)

After scrambling to your bathroom to make yourself a little presentable as if you just won a video call event for your ult, you finally set on a laidback look so it doesn’t look too obvious that you put a little effort in.

You decided to prop your phone on the mini tripod on your desk so the lighting from your bedroom window in front of you bounced off your skin perfectly.

Y/n: okay I’m ready. I’m a little shy so.....sorry if I can’t talk much...

Nana00: you don’t sound shy when you talk about me on bubble hehe ;)

You buried your face in your hands and groaned. The embarrassment was still eating at you and Jaemin was not letting you live those messages down.

Ring Ring Ring......

You saw your phone light up and Jaemins kakao profile picture fill your screen.

With a shaky finger you press the recieve button and watch as the pixelated video start to clear up, presenting a very smiley Na Jaemin.

“Hi there” he said in his high voice and a bright smile on his face. He seemed to be sitting at his desk as well, hair still wet from either a rainy day or a shower.

“Uhm hi” you replied shyly and waved awkwardly.

“So this is the face behind the bubble profile huh”

“I guess so” you replied. It seemed as though you were calm and collected but on the inside you were screaming. Screaming that you were conversing with one of your favourite people right now.

“Good! Sorry to ask this again but did you clear the chat on bubble ? We have to be careful with that” he said in a concerned voice.

“Yeah I did after you sent the pic I finally realized it was definitely you so I went ahead and did it” you quickly said, kinda embarrassed by how fast your words came out.

Jaemin chuckled.

“You still doubted me after the voice note?”

“Just a little”

“You’re so adorable it’s ridiculous you know that ?” He gleamed and neared the screen, his deep brown eyes focusing on yours “ where are you from y/n?”

“Well I live in a lot of places but my hometown is _______. I learnt most of my korean while studying here in Osaka weird enough” you shrugged.

You moved to Japan for your first year of university since it was where you sort of grew up as a kid and took up extra korean classes once settled in the city.

“Osaka ?? Wow I love Japan I can’t wait to go back! Well now I kinda have an excuse to go” he winked sending your heart into a frenzy.

You giggled shyly “is this the fan service everybody talks about ?

“Fan service is a job....this is different I’m sure you know that y/n haha”

“All of this because of my profile picture ?”

“Well” Jaemin bit down on his lip as his eyebrows turned into a frown

“I obviously saw your pic and thought you were very cute but a big part of it was your messages and how you would always message me when I most needed it.”

“My messages are very random” you chuckled.

“Still made me smile throughout my day and that means a lot” he said and ran his fingers through his hair “so it’s kinda selfish of me to say, but id like for you to update me...personally”

“Na Jaemin are you asking me to be your own personal bubble account ?” You raised your eyebrow.

“Yeah pretty much” he shrugged “I’ll repay the subscription when I see you Osaka.”

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