#fandoms are supposed to be a happy place and it just doesn't feel like that for me anymore

[queers-gambit]

And Let Me Love You Anyway

[ part two of two ]

prompt: you embark on a secret but passionate affair with the Rogue Prince, and when his wife, Rhea Royce, passes away, he chooses you to wed next - a decision that angers his niece and changes history.

pairing: Daemon Targaryen x female!reader only description given: red hair and Daemon's able to lift you

fandom masterlist: House of the Dragon

word count: 6.3k+

note: what the fuck is this, Cherry? also two parts 'cause author gets carried away!

warnings: show spoilers, cursing, author has small bouts of feministic ideas, author also really likes the "little birds" storyline (let her live!), wonky brain is wonky, i think hurt and comfort, angst, very mild NSFW (female receiving oral), technically alternative timeline 'cause this goofy-ass author has an overactive imagination, #icanmakehimworse, another reader-episode-insert (this warning is for the fucking losers in my inbox).

part one: "Tell Me Every Terrible Thing you ever did, And let me love you anyway," - Edgar Allan Poe

"Alicent, we're late," you sighed with a frown, wiping your sweaty palms nervously as your necklace was latched in place and perfume spritzed on your pulse points. YES - that included your ankles.

"That's the point, sister, we're supposed to be late. It sends a message."

Your eyes rolled, snipping, "The King will not be pleased. I am not his wife, he can get angry at me, you know!"

"He'll manage," she snapped, glancing at Talya. She continued, "He dismissed Father for telling him a truth he would rather ignore. So much so, after years of service, he'd - "

"Yes, yes, the King removed Father as Hand, sent him back home," you nodded with understanding. "But we both know how he feels about his daughter, The Princess! The rumors circulating would cost him his life in the end, we are lucky he was only sent home!"

"Rumors! Rumors, sister, truly!? Tell me, do you think Father lied?"

"I know he didn't."

"Exactly why we're late to tonight's affair," she huffed, fixing her hair in the mirror again. "It's a statement, it's deliberate. We will stand out, prove we are not happy with the turn of events. Why offer Rhaenyra blind respect when she continues to do as she pleases - regardless of consequences."

You paused, sensing her anger brewing and trying to distract, "You know, Ser Lyonel Strong is not a bad replacement for Father."

"This is not about Ser Strong."

"Isn't it? Father's served long and faithfully, but perhaps it is time for a new guidance. Lyonel Strong is a smart man - qualified, even!"

"Yes," she agreed, turning to face you in a shimmering emerald gown. "But this is still an injustice to our family that I fear I cannot overlook any longer. It's been weeks..."

"Yes," you allotted, nodding with a sigh. "All right, yes, you are right, sweet sister. This is all just - it's a lot to take in, to try and digest. And we talk of playing a game with the Throne - I do not think we've the strength to endure alone."

"This is not about Lyonel Strong, sister! It's about Father and the disrespect the Crown continues to offer. Remember that," she advised softly.

You nodded, "I know, sister."

She frowned, "And remember... They aren't our kin. Despite previous displays of kindness, the Targaryens have made it clear that we are not family to them. They are not blood to us, sister; they will protect their own, not us. If we wish to survive, we will need to ally ourselves."

"I understand," you told your younger sister. "I am not arguing, I know what our reality is now - I merely implore to explore the routes that won't label us as traitors."

"I know, we have much to discuss going forward. But none of that for now," she took a long breath, smiling as she looked you up and down, complimenting, "you look stunning. Truly, you might outshine the bride tonight."

"Let's hope it doesn't come down to that, and that The Princess has a mature bone in her body - though I do not hold out hope." You smiled at her, "But enough about me, you look - you look like a Queen, sister-dearest. Gods, you're gorgeous, you look just like Mummy." The two of you shared an emotional, watery smile; embracing tightly as reality settled in your guts: it was you two Hightower Ladies against the whole of the Targaryen clan. "Come," you decided, taking a deep breath, "are we ready to go? Any later and I fear we might not get any cake."

"Oh, you and cake," she smirked, looking you over in a matching emerald, lighter-weight gown that had layers of thin fabrics clinging and dripping from your form. Golden jewelry was clasped around both your necks, wrists, tight around your fingers, and plugged into your ear piercings.

The Queen took your arm and left the dressing chambers you took refuge in, coming to a gasping halt when you were greeted by a well-groomed man in green velvet. "Father," Alicent exclaimed in shock.

"My daughters," he smiled, offering both arms, "I do believe we are now fashionably late. Hmm?"

"Exactly as we intended," you mused, taking his arm. "How is this possible? How are you here?"

"I was invited, if you believe that," Otto answered, the three of you walking slowly. "Though, I suspect your sister had something to do with that?"

"I only told Viserys I'd be deeply offended if you were ignored for this event," Alicent quipped.

"None the less, I am happy to escort my daughters to such a historic event," he spoke diplomatically, aware of the guards and servants milling around. Otto lead the way to the Throne Room - where you could hear King Viserys' echoing speech from the foyer.

None of you spoke, approaching the open doors and pausing to let everyone see the united Hightowers. Alicent wore her dark auburn locks pulled back from her face to cascade in thick ringlets down her back, your own Hightower-red hair left down around your face with the longer locks pinned off your neck. The entire room - the entire court - all wedding attendees and royal procession stared at you three in shock for entering during the King's speech. Your statement was clearly made.

Even from this distance, you could see how startled Rhaenyra was by your arrival, needing to fight off a smirk of amusement in order to keep your neutral façade.

You and Alicent walked arm-in-arm with your father, the once-Hand, down the stairs and up the aisle of banquet tables full of people, staring forward and giving no emotion away. The people buzzed in quiet gossip. The attending Hightowers of Oldtown, sitting closest to the royal banquet table because of their relation to the current Queen, stood first; everyone else following in a show of respect.

You and Alicent paused to let Otto sit with his relatives at the lower banquet table before joining arm-and-arm together. Over the muttering of the entire room, you whispered almost mutely, "Be kind, remain composed, we'll kill 'em with kindness."

Alicent gave a subtle flex to give indication she understood.

When you looked up at the table you approached under the King's heavy glare, you noticed there was an empty chair between Ser Strong and... Prince Daemon? Was that really him? When did he get here? Why was he back? It's only been a few weeks!

Your shock did not slow you, and as you approached the table reserved for the Royal Family, you saw Daemon smirking at your theatrics. Alicent did not let you part from her side as she greeted Princess Rhaenyra with a sickly-sweet voice, "Congratulations, stepdaughter. What a blessing this is for you."

She ignored any other reaction to let go of your arm, kiss her husband's cheek in greeting, stand beside him, in front of her chair, and stare forward with zero other emotion.

"Congratulations, Princess," you whispered, bowing your head. "Your Grace," you acknowledged, doing the same and taking the empty chair between Lord Hand and Rogue Prince only to stoically stare forward in silence. You did as Alicent did, not looking at any other, and just waiting for a pregnant moment that seemingly never ended.

"Please be seated," Viserys finally permitted, everyone sitting at his behest. He cleared his throat, whispering to Lyonel Strong, "Where was I?"

"The joining of the two Houses, Your Grace."

You swallowed when a warm hand laid on your right thigh, Viserys continuing his speech. You glanced at Daemon, seeing his smirk, and instead of throwing his hand off you, you laid your own over his to give a long squeeze. You had wrestled with the idea of his favorite whore, Mysaria, and the idea of whatever he did with Princess Rhaenyra for weeks. Then when you heard word that his wife, Lady Rhea Royce, had met her untimely end, you knew he was involved, yet said nothing. You could only think deeply about what it all meant - and how you fit into the equation that was Prince Daemon Targaryen.

Tell me every terrible thing you ever did...

All you could understand was the overwhelming affection you held for him. His shocked-wide-eyes found yours for a long moment, seeming communicating telepathically - you telling him you wanted him. His hand tightened to keep hold of yours, hidden from the public for the time being.

And let me love you anyway...

You tuned back into the King's speech in time to clap with the others, showing your support of the union you technically helped influence between Targaryen and Velaryon.

However, you caught the way Alicent glared at Rhaenyra, sighing to yourself; having heard through long private dinners what Alicent came to know and why this upset her so much. How strange to learn Ser Criston Cole admitted to Ali that he was coerced into soiling the Princess' purity - not her Uncle Daemon, like rumored. Yet none the less, the girl had sworn on her beloved, dearly departed mother to Alicent that she was still a maiden... A huge, glaring lie - that both you and Ali took personally.

You found all of this terribly interesting, yet did not let the distain show so boldly. After Daemon came to you in confession, you had yet to speak a word outside of public politeness to the Princess; feeling betrayed by what your lover had told you. He had been right: you were Rhaenyra's friend, she wasn't yours. So, you demoted yourself to create distance.

When the drums rumbled and the Princess took to the dance floor with her intended, you spared Daemon a look and muttered, "You do not have to look so annoyed."

"I'm not, sweet one."

"Nor so amused," you tacked on.

Daemon smirked at you, leaning in and pondering, "I am only wondering if you would care for a dance later, my Lady?"

You lied, speaking in a teasing tone, "I'm not one for dancing, my Prince."

"A single dance with me, then. Just one, pretty lady."

"You're pushy," you whispered, nudging him to keep quiet; but the grin on your lips assured him you were completely enraptured by his antics.

He sat back with a smirk, watching his niece and her fiancé dance. The entire courtroom clapped at the end, others flooding to the spaces around them. You glanced over as your sister stood from her seat, meeting your eyes and offering only a soft smile before descending from the table to approach your aunt and uncle from Oldtown - standing with your father on the side of the room. You sighed under your breath, your lover tightening his grip on your thigh.

Daemon made for a great distraction. "Did you hear the news?" He asked softly, reaching for his goblet of wine with his free hand.

"Which news would that be, my Prince?" You asked casually, pretending your heart wasn't hammering in your chest.

"Of my dear wife's passing."

"I did, actually," you fought off your smirk. "I am truly sorry to hear of it, I understand Lady Rhea was truly one of a kind. You shouldn't speak ill of the dead, love," you reminded in a whisper.

"Hmm. Don't be sorry, I'm not," he eased.

"You're not? Your wife died, Daemon..."

"I know," he met your gaze, "I'm not sorry because now it gives me vocation to follow my own desires."

You smirked, "Which desire will you follow first?"

His hand tightened to a bruising grip. He was not able to answer yet because your gaze was caught by movement, Rhea Royce's cousin approaching slowly, evidently a cup or two deep in the wine; making you remove Daemon's hand so you both could sit casually - without touching.

The man gruffly leered at Daemon, "In the Vale, men are made to answer for their crimes." Your lover spared you an exasperated look as he tacked on, "Even Targaryens."

"Who are you?" Daemon asked dully.

"This is Ser Gerold Royce, my Prince," you told him softly, "of Runestone."

Daemon perked his brow, asking sarcastically, "An excellent show of your knowledge, my sweet lady, but what does that matter to me?"

You didn't answer, Ser Lyoel Strong (who was listening in) didn't answer, because Ser Gerold was approaching the table by climbing the stairs. He growled at Daemon, "I am cousin to your late Lady wife."

"Ah, yes... Terrible thing," Daemon offered. "I'm positively bereft. Such a tragic accident."

"You know better than anyone, it was no accident."

Through a smirk, Daemon quipped, "Are you confessing some guilt, Ger Gerold?"

"I am making an accusation."

You shared a look with Lyonel to your left, catching sight of the King's turned head - showing he was listening, too. Daemon easily deflected, "Here, in King's Landing, men are made to answer for their slanders. Even old bronze cunts like you." This angered Ser Gerold visibly, the man stepping closer, but obviously restrained himself. Your lover continued, "The truth is I'm glad you've come. I wish to speak to you about my inheritance."

"What inheritance?" Ser Gerold demanded.

"Lady Rhea and I had no heirs. As her husband, whatever she was due now passes to me. She stood to inherit all of Runestone. Did she not?" Daemon had Ser Gerold pinned by legality, the man looking disturbed by his own realization. So, naturally, Daemon taunted, "After my niece's wedding, I plan to fly to the Eyrie and petition Lady Jeyne myself. Perhaps I'll see you there, Ser Gerold."

The man sheepishly walked away, his inebriated mind whirling with possibilities. You glared, pinching Daemon's arm so you could scold him when he turned to face you, "That wasn't very kind."

"And?"

"You don't truly care for Runestone," you snapped. "Now that man will fear for his home, fret over the laws, and that's not very nice."

He sighed, "What would you have me do, sweet one?"

"Leave House Royce to grieve and rearrange their succession without your pettiness."

Daemon smirked, "Whatever my Lady wants."

"You're dreadfully annoying tonight, do you know that?" You whined. "I'm going for a dance, and no, this is not an invitation to follow," you warned him - albeit playfully - before standing to excuse yourself.

"Sister," Alicent paused you before you could pass her by. "Are you well?"

"Yes, yes, just felt like dancing, too much energy to just sit. Come join - "

"No, no, I should sit. Eat," she smiled. "Perhaps tonight will be when you meet your match and we can plan another wedding."

"Perhaps," you mused, squeezing her hand. "You all right? What did Father and Uncle say?"

"Later," she whispered. "Go on, go."

You joined the stream of people dancing, instantly grinning when you were welcomed joyfully by different suitors. The band played a lively beat, the crowd cheering in rhythm; you being twirled around men and women with matching grins.

You heard your name being cheered through a small giggle.

"Hi, Princess," you greeted Rhaenyra as you both marched along to the beat. You reminded yourself this was all a game and if you wanted to survive, you'd have to play your part strategically. So, you quipped as you danced with Ser Arryn Blackwell, "Nice party you've got, huh?"

"Oh, you know how we Targaryens do," she teased. "Where've you been lately? I feel as if I've hardly seen you."

"Just busy with chores since Father was replaced as Hand," you answered, spinning under someone's arm.

Nyra didn't comment on that, instead, waiting a few moments before complimenting, "That's a beautiful dress, really goes with your hair!"

"That's what I hoped for," you gasped girlishly, deciding to play nice when she reached for your hands. You felt weak for a moment, but the truth was, you missed your friend... So, you might've giggled a bit when you joined hands, dancing together instead of with anyone else. With kindness, you offered, "You look gorgeous, as well, Princess, I love this dress - "

"Yes, yes, we all look fantastic," Daemon interrupted abruptly, crowding over you, asking quickly, "can I speak to you a moment, my Lady? The Princess won't mind, right, Rhaenyra?"

"Uh, no, I guess..." She eyed the two of you with suspicion as she stayed in-beat with the music.

"Daemon, not now - "

"We need to talk," he pulled you from where you danced, glancing back at the head banquet table as he took your hand, and lead you deeper into the crowd. He turned you to face him, pacing a small circle around you, demanding, "Do you still want to marry me?"

"What? Why are you asking now?"

"Because I just asked your father for permission," he seethed, pausing in front of you, "and he outright refused, saying he's negotiating with the fucking Lannisters. I need to know what you want."

"I was not aware what I wanted mattered to you, the man who views marriage as a political arrangement," you eyed him with a curled lip of annoyance.

"What arrangement could I want? Your sister is Queen, my family is bound to the Hightowers already. My political marriage is recently dissolved, I am free to do as I please, regardless of what others want or say - "

"Then tell me what you want. Tell me plainly what you want from me, Daemon, no more pretty words and veiled truths. Be plain."

"You said I had a year, and look - it's been weeks. Weeks, my love, how much more plain can I be? I'm here, now, free to marry, and I need to know if you still want to marry me. I'll marry you tomorrow - "

"Oh, please! Would you steal me away?" You mocked with a chuckle. "Take me to Dragonstone? Make me your little wife that you'll come to resent, too? Just as you did Rhea?"

He reached out to aggressively hold your cheek and jaw. "I had no choice in my first marriage, I could never come to resent you - you're all I've ever wanted. I'd do anything for you," Daemon snarled over your lips, "including risking your father's wrath. I'd do anything to make sure we end up together, you are my heart - do not forget that."

"Then pull out your sword, cut them all down," you purred, feeling his hand tighten, "and claim me as your own - do not let anyone stop us."

His lips hovered over yours, breathing the same air, and before he could respond or kiss you, a woman screamed shrilly from behind you. Daemon instantly latched onto your body as a crowd formed to your left and right, and when you both looked, you were shocked to see the commotion happening at your feet.

"Love - "

"Daemon," you paused him, shocked as Ser Criston Cole was engaged in a fist fight with some Velaryon knight before Ser Laenor Velaryon, the groom, was tackling him to the side. What an interesting display of protectiveness from Ser Laenor over his knight.

Daemon rushed in your ear, "Do not look - come away with me."

"Wait," you held his hands to your waist, letting him crowd into your back as Cole had punched Laenor to the side and straddled the blonde on the floor once more.

He landed one blow before the knight was brandishing a dagger; but the White Cloak caught his arm and easily snapped it broken, startling the crowd. Beyond your ring of spectators, other men were trading blows and engaged in their own fights; total chaos taking over the whole of the Throne Room. You flinched back into Daemon's embrace when Cole screamed like a wild man in the mountains, repeatedly pounding his fist into the knight's face; literally caving it in, creating a human minced meat pie.

Someone better contact Mrs. Lovett!

"No more," Daemon decided, Cole rearing himself back as Daemon stooped to heave you over his shoulder. He was able to find safe (enough) passage through the people, approaching the royal banquet table. "Hey, hey," he whispered, setting you down and taking your face in his hands, the wailing of Laenor Velaryon seeing his murdered knight echoing in the Throne Room. "You all right? You hurt? Look at me, love, are you hurt?"

"No, no, I'm okay," you whispered, swallowing unsurely; reaching up to hold his wrists. "I'm okay."

"Sure? You shouldn't have seen that - "

"It's all right," you assured, stroking his wrists. "I'm okay, Daemon, truly. Just... A little startled, maybe?"

"What's this then?" Harwin Strong smirked, panting lightly from his rescue mission as the Princess was attending her father, the King. "You two hit it off then, yeah? Is it me or are sparks flying?"

"Something like that," you whispered, trying to regulate your breathing after the adrenaline-inducing scrimmage.

"Easy does it, love," Daemon whispered, keeping you close as you didn't let go of his hands; wanting to stay connected. He told Harwin, giving a half-shrug, "They aren't sparks. She's everything to me."

"Perhaps your second wedding will go better than this one," Harwin sighed, hands on his hips.

"In some cultures, deaths at a wedding are considered good luck," you muttered, Daemon snorting lightly in amusement before running his thumbs over your cheekbones in soothing gestures.

"Didn't your wife just pass, Prince Daemon?" Your father demanded publicly with a heavy glare. "You'd offer insult to her memory by remarrying so quickly?"

"I've grieved Lady Rhea plenty, Ser Hightower, it's time to look to the future," Daemon declared, eyes daring your father to challenge him. "The Lady Hightower and I will wed. The sooner, the better, in truth."

And history would never be the same.

"What?" Rhaenyra demanded, whirling around at the news, making all others pause in confusion. "What did you say?"

"That I intend to marry the Lady Hightower."

"Her? Her? Fucking her - who is more prude than woman?!"

Well, that was mildly offensive...

"Rhaenyra - "

"What makes you think you're worthy?" She demanded of you, turning from her father to stalk across the platform. "Worthy of a man like Daemon, of a husband like Daemon? You've done nothing to - to deserve such a title! The title of Princess, of wife!"

You were honestly confused to your core.

"I deserve a man like he - not someone like you!" She continued, shocking the group as the Kingsguard cleared the Room of any lingering stragglers to keep this as private as possible. "You think I didn't see you on my tour? You were fawned over, all wanted to talk with you, but were forced to line up for me! You rejected them all on your own, and now I see why! You wanted to wait until the Lady Rhea passed, which makes me wonder - what part did you play in that?"

"Rhaenyra!" You gasped.

"What? Honestly, it would make sense - the day Daemon's banished, you weren't seen! I wouldn't be shocked if you were seen somewhere lurking in the Vale! You cannot have it all - you've always wanted my life, and now look! You have to have what I have, and now you've taken a liking to my uncle after our scandal! What? He wasn't interesting before? You heard rumors about us and decided you wanted him for yourself? Just because he was mine first? You just want to be me, you always have - you've always reeked of jealousy! This is all you wanted, to steal my family, and - "

"That's enough," Daemon tried. "You are out of turn here, Rhaenyra, do not make this worse."

"Why? Because little Lady Hightower's façade of being a respectable, pure woman is now tarnished?"

"We share one dance, albeit intimate, sit next to each other at a single dinner, shared some conversation, and you now think it's appropriate to call my virtue into question? What of your own, Princess? You just admitted to scandal with Daemon - but I wonder why the service of Moon Tea if your virtue was unimpeachable?" You demanded, feeling defensive on a new level. Even Alicent straightened up at your words.

However, Daemon rushed to add, "With all due respect, Princess, I don't want you, and you can't claim me as your own when you never had me. You might be angry, but it is no use to take it out on my intended, she is of rare stock and breed - she will not be questioned. Nor will my intentions with her."

Rhaenyra snarled, "Yeah? You don't want me? Well, you wanted me enough to try and fuck me at that whorehouse!"

There were gasps and murmurs all around, but Rhaenyra was glaring at you and Daemon, still standing together. His arms actually dropped to hold your waist, keeping you close as he snarled at his niece, "But I didn't. If memory serves right, I walked away!"

"You wanted me!" Rhaenyra raged. "You always were and always will be mine - regardless of the whores you bed in the meantime! And I want you, I am not yet married - "

"Yet I will not be who marries you, I am betrothed to another," Daemon reminded with a venomous tone. "There's nothing you offer that I want, Rhaenyra."

"I am not some inexperienced little girl anymore, I'm a woman grown, and I could do more for you than she ever could!"

"Rhaenyra!" Viserys roared.

Everyone knew she had gone too far and there was no coming back from any this. After a beat, Alicent stepped in as if questioning for the first time, "And yet, sister, you said the Princess was served Moon Tea? If Prince Daemon did not touch the Princess, does this mean she still," she scoffed as if the idea were absurd, "sullied her maidenhood? Before marriage?"

It should be noted that Ser Criston Cole was already gone from the hall at this time. In fact, he lingered just outside a side door, listening, in case his name came up. When Alicent spoke, he straightened up and started the slow trek to the Godswood.

"Ser Lyonel? Do I misunderstand?" Alicent pulled the Hand into the fray.

"Well, that's what that would sound like, Your Grace," he agreed begrudgingly. "Moon Tea is beneficial to prevent unwanted consequences outside of marriage."

"From what I understand, she was served by Grand Maester Mellos himself," you told Ali, minds strung together by a common thread. "The castle likes to gossip, you can learn a lot if you just listen."

"This is..." Viserys seethed, "Unacceptable."

"I'm sorry, Your Grace," you instantly apologized.

"No, no," he deflected, hand held up, "you have a duty to the Realm to flesh out any deception. And this," he directed his glare at his daughter, "is a grand deception that cannot be undone, unknown, covered-up, anymore, Rhaenyra!"

There was a meltdown. Everyone began yelling.

Viserys was enraged. Rhaenyra was desperately trying to plead with her father. Lord Corlys was demanding to know what the hell was about to happen with the impending marriage to "the future Queen". Ser Strong was trying to keep the people from each other's throats.

His sons stood to the side and just let them all fight.

Daemon kept you out of the line of fire, away from the action; sighing as you deflated into his chest. Over it all, Viserys' voice was angriest, and you heard, "You are no daughter of mine! The position you have put me in tonight - I cannot undo this, Rhaenyra! I should have never disinherited Daemon for you, breaking centuries of tradition because I wanted to see your mother in you! You have spat in my face around every bend, but this? This is unforgivable, we will not recover from this and I will no longer endure your insolence!"

"Father, please, let me - "

"No," he snarled, "I have had it with your disresepct the past several years, this is beyond any scale." You blinked up at Daemon, his lips curving down as his hands tightened around your form. And then, Viserys said the words, "I made a mistake naming you my heir. You may marry Ser Laenor, if you so choose to, but after that, you will reside on Driftmark with your husband - you will no longer inherit the Iron Throne after me."

"Father!"

"No," he snapped, "you've exhausted my patience, Rhaenyra!" Viserys roared. "And while Daemon might be unpredictable, the woman he wants to marry is not - and from where I am standing, she will make a far better Queen than you!"

It was quiet as everyone forgot their own selfish woes as father disinherited daughter.

"Your Grace," your father tried to step in, "with respect, why not place your son, Aegon, in line after you?"

"Oh, for the love of the Gods, Otto," Rhaenyra raged, rounding on your father, "give up this campaign, you get all you want and more! Your daughter is Queen now and your other daughter will be Queen after that, aren't you listening? Your grandchildren will still inherit the Throne!"

"That's it," Viserys breathed, needing to hold onto the banquet table for balance as all eyes turned to him again. "It's time to do what I should've done all along. Rhaenyra," he shook his head, "I can no longer have you as my heir, this type of behavior cannot stand. I will give you permission to marry Ser Laenor, and if he chooses not to, I will allow you to reside on Dragonstone until a match is made. Until then," his eyes shifted to where you and Daemon stood, "I name my brother, Prince Daemon Targaryen, as my Heir to the Iron Throne."

"You would not name your son?" Alicent asked in mild disbelief.

"No," Viserys told her, "no, I would see my brother as my heir. Should Aegon prove to live up to his namesake, we can talk about succession again, but I know my brother is capable... And though he might be overly wanting, he will learn patience, because I know the love of a good woman can change a man for the better."

You smiled, feeling emotional for a moment, but Daemon asked for you both, "Brother, do you mean to give your blessing?"

"Of course," he nodded once, "why waste a good wedding tourney? We shall announce on the morrow our new intentions - to crown Daemon as heir and marry him to the Lady Hightower. This matter," he panted, glaring at everyone, "is resolved, I will not hear more. Make the preparations!"

It happened in slow motion. Rhaenyra's rage flared to a temperamental height previously unknown; lunging to seize her father's Valyrian Steel, prophesy-engraved dagger, turn, and charge straight for you as the remaining audience shouted in panic. You felt Daemon try to push you behind him, but instead, your own temper flared and you stepped up to meet Rhaenyra; catching both her arms to hold her at bay.

Daemon was at your flank if you needed him, otherwise, he kept the Kingsguard away from you two - knowing this needed to happen now. Or else something worse would happen later...

"For fuck's sake, Princess! What is this? Jealousy? Huh?" You asked through your tears, struggling to hold your old friend's weight away from you. "What is this jealousy, Nyrie, hmm?"

"Don't call me that," she grit. You just sighed, pushing her back a little but not enough to overpower her; the girl's anger making her stronger than you would've previously guessed. "You've gone too far," she seethed through tears.

“I? What have I done but what was expected of me? Forever upholding the Kingdom, the family, the law. While you flout all to do as you please! Where is duty? Where is sacrifice? It’s trampled under your pretty foot again!"

"You think you finally get my life, huh?" She snarled. "You won't ever be accepted - not as Queen - not as part of this family! You've wanted this all along! Haven't you!?" She struggled against you, hands sweating. "You've always wanted my life, that's why you stuck around! Your mother died - so you tried to take a place in my family, make them yours - and now, look! You're nearly there! Pouncing on my uncle the moment he's widowed!" She snarled, bearing her teeth.

“Exhausting, wasn’t it? Hiding beneath the cloak of your own righteousness. But now they see you as you are, Nyrie," you whispered with a broad smirk.

"You aren't fit to play this part! To have my life! You'll never be accepted as their Princess!"

"I wager I'll do a better job than you ever could," you hissed. "There's not much to live up to, you don't leave a lot of room to fill."

She screamed when Ser Harwin's arms seized around her waist, but the momentum of him pulling her back and Rhaenyra's thrashing cause the Valyrian Steel dagger to slice your forearm. You yelped and reared back amongst the startled gasps and panicked murmurs from the crowd, Daemon catching you. The dagger clattered to the floor as Harwin backed up several paces to keep the belligerent girl at bay. You whimpered quietly at the sting, a pool of blood forming to the side you held your arm at.

"Fuck's sake," Daemon growled, "lemme see, lemme see, my love, c'mere," he winced, looking around before using his own belt to yank free and tourniquet around your lower elbow. "You're bleeding a good bit," he whispered, "you'll need stitches, sweet one."

You pouted at him, wincing again in pain when he tightened the belt.

Around you, the Kingsguard was ordered to escort Rhaenyra to her chambers, and the moment she was marched out of sight, Daemon was warning his brother that she knew about her secret passage door and parts of the tunnels.

Go stand watch," a personal guard was ordered by the King. "Someone go - go find Ser Cole - I want him posted in the Princess' passage, he's trusted to us."

Alicent slunk off to do exactly that, and she'd tell you later that Cole was found only moments from taking his own life. He was overjoyed to hear the King had requested him personally to stand guard for such a sensitive situation.

In the meantime, Lord Corlys Velaryon and his wife, Princess Rhaenys Targaryen, thought it best their son not marry Rhaenyra; now that she had been disowned, she was less appealing. Viserys was free to offer her again later if Laenor was not married in that time and if she showed true change, but after tonight, nobody thought that possible.

Daemon tried helping your wound, your father approaching as he laid a clean cloth over the cut. Your lover tisked, "It's deeper than I thought. We should get this looked at."

"A moment," Otto prevented.

"If it would please you, this is not an injury I'd like to wait to attend to," Daemon sighed, nodding at your bloodied forearm that he held.

"I only meant to say, you have my blessing to marry, my Prince," Otto nodded at him. "Seeing the kindness you show my daughter, I feel... Content knowing she will be loved and cared for."

"Thank you," Daemon nodded.

"Yes, thank you, Father, but we really must be going, this doesn't feel very nice," you rushed to explain, watching him nod and eye your injury with worry.

"This way," He even instructed, a few handmaids rushing forward to help herd you away.

"Doing all right, love?" Daemon muttered as you walked.

"Bit shocked," you admitted.

"I'd say," he mused.

"It burns," you pouted at him.

"We'll get everything tended to, you'll feel better soon," he soothed.

You peaked up at his worried brow, pouted lips, darting eyes; whispering, "You're heir, again, Daemon."

"So it would seem," he deadpanned. "Can we not talk about it now?" He requested quietly, "I only wish to see to this wound of yours."

You nodded, and once in Mellos' chamber, you were left alone with your father - since Daemon was not yet your husband. Otto was silent as your forearm was stitched carefully; the bleeding staunched, herbs stuffed in the wound to prevent pain and promote healing. As you let Mellos wrap you in gauze, you glanced at your father.

"So... Your blessing, is it?"

"He's different with you already," he nodded stiffly. "And after his nieces' display tonight, I can think of no better future Queen."

"I do not wish to talk about future station, Father, but instead, that... That Daemon makes me happy and I am relieved you have given us your blessing. It would've felt very wrong to marry without my father in attendance."

Otto wasn't affectionate in the least bit, but he showed his love by doing his best to understand situations before passing judgement. It created a sense of trust and security between father and daughter. So, he asked earnestly, "And you will overlook what he did with Princess Rhaenyra?"

"He told me of it all the morning after it happened, I've had time to think, and I've had time away from him. I know what I want, Father, and while Viserys has changed history - again - tonight by naming Daemon heir, I know he is the man I want for the rest of my life."

"I see," he nodded. "Then... By all means, I will see this union happen."

"Thank you," you whispered, the Maester tying the gauze. "Thank you, Grand Maester," you spoke calmly.

"Of course, uh, um, Princess."

"I don't think I'll get used to hearing that," you whined, standing off his table. "Will you talk to Daemon for me, Father? I think you need to clear the air... I will not say the King will instill you as Hand again, but if I am to marry the Prince, I will need there to be peace between our families."

He nodded, opening the door for you, "It will be arranged, my daughter..."

As Otto took his leave, Daemon, pacing the hall, approached you. He took hold of your waist, asking, "Are you all right?" You let him hold your injured wrist in a soft grip, viewing the wrappings.

"Yes, Your Grace," you teased, watching his pale face flush.

"Don't start with that."

"Mellos just called me Princess."

"You are," he grinned. "And we will be married in less than a week's time."

"I can hardly wait," you whispered, letting his lips find yours in a searing show of rare public affection.

requesting rules and masterlist

HOTD masterlist

#daemon targaryen #prince daemon targaryen #daemon #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen x fem!reader #daemon targaryen x f!reader #daemon targaryen imagine #daemon targaryen fanfiction #daemon hotd #hotd daemon #hotd #hotd imagine #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon #house of the dragon hbo #hbo house of the dragon #house of the dragon daemon targaryen #house of the dragon fanfiction #hotd hbo #hbo hotd #daemon targaryen angst #hotd daemon targaryen

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

Zombie!Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader

Fandom: Call of Duty

Character(s): Zombie!Ghost, Reader

Summary: Being on the run from the undead doesn't leave much time for more intimate things, but once things start to settle a little an ache begins to form that you havent felt in a long time. What will you do when the only other person you are with is your former lover turned zombie.

Word Count: 4.8 k

Warnings:

Author's Note: here it is as requested. I hope I did it justice. Happy Halloween 🎃

You’d been on the run for months now, never stopping as hordes of the undead nipped away at any temporary calm would you seek to have. It wasn’t easy always having to look over your shoulder, wondering when you were going to get ambushed again or if you’d get overrun and you’d have to make your final stand in a blaze of glory. Something like that isn’t supposed to become normal, but after over a year of living in hell you kind of get used to it… Kind of.

That first month was the hardest since you had been completely on your own because in the chaos and confusion of that first wave as the everything fell apart, including the 141 you were stationed with, you’d gotten separated from everyone. Hiding in the sewers, scavenging for food like some kind of rat, it was torture. But then you came across someone you thought you’d never see again: Ghost.

He was holed up alone in an abandoned farmhouse back in the thick of the woods a town over from the base. What should have been a reunion with someone you knew was thrown off by the fact that he had in fact been turned into one of the undead. Out of everyone that you could have run into, why him? You two had history, the kind where intimate details were something that you shared, and now you were both thrust together once again only this time there were bigger things at stake other than if you’d get caught fooling around by the captain.

The strange thing was that even though Ghost had been fully transformed by the infection, it was not what you expected. You realized quickly that Ghost had kept most of his humanity, though the more finer details of his person were scrambled by the disease. Even though he could not speak anymore due to the fact that his jaw was broken, Ghost was still inside there. And the strangest part of it all was that he remembered you.

It wasn’t like anything you had seen from the horde of mindless undead and so instead of facing the unknown alone again, you decided to stick with him. For over a year you two stayed side by side and although you did not come across any others of the task force, it was enough to just have one another.

Honestly he wasn’t a terrible companion, though a bit of conversation would have been nice. Still, having him with you had its perks. Being one amongst the walking corpses had great benefits and Ghost used them to their full capability to keep you safe so that after a time, even though the world still sat in ruin, you two were not doing too bad. At least you were able to stay in place for more than a day now.

That’s where you found yourself, shacked up in a two story cottage you had found almost untouched and secluded in the middle of the woods. It was easy enough to make secure, as secure as you could having limited supplies, but apart from a few stray corpses stumbling by there wasn’t much action. That anxiety riddled tension that you had held in your chest for over a year began to ease and with that came old stirrings that you hadn’t felt since before the world collapsed.

An old familiar ache brought on by being near someone who you used to share such things with, the one that leaves you begging to be quenched, wormed its way back into your life and now that you had more time on your hands it was becoming a major problem.

You see, adrenalin has a funny way of fucking with your head: heightening your senses, making your pulse race, everything feels so much more intense. You were only human, one who still had needs which had not been met in so fucking long that you couldn’t even remember what it felt like to be touched by another and so having your blood always rushing and your skin tingling, how could you stop yourself from giving in to that most basic of temptations?

It was a shame that Ghost wasn’t an option now; you would liked to have him one more time as the world burned, but there was no way no… right?

So, instead, one evening after the perimeter had been secured and the doors re-bolted, the windows rechecked and the traps restrung, that ache reached its peak and you had to do something before it got in the way of staying safe. Sneaking off to the bedroom you had claimed for yourself upstairs, you allowed that overwhelming need to finally overtake you.

Leaving the door slightly ajar so that you could still be alert to any stray sounds, you laid down on the cushioned surface of the mattress, your pulse racing rapidly in your chest at the prospect of doing this. You made quick work of your jeans, unbuttoning them and pulling down the zipper only enough so that you could access that throbbing between your thighs. Clamping your mouth shut in an effort to keep quiet you slid your hand down the front of your pants, down all the way until you reached your sex. 

A whimper filled your mouth that you choked back down; the last thing you needed was to alert a horde with your desperate cries as you worked yourself. It may have been a while, but you knew exactly what to do and extending your middle finger you split yourself open to find your clit, another whimper rising in your throat as you made the connection and began to draw tight circles around the bundle of nerves.

It was hard not to get worked up so fast as that remembered pleasure filled your mind and snaked its way through your limbs to make your body vibrate and as you stroked that pulsing bean you were brought back to those times when you and Ghost used to get lost in that ecstasy together. You couldn’t be blamed for where your mind wandered, not when you had to be near the one person who knew how to draw your pleasure from you, even if he couldn’t do it anymore.   

Before you knew it, you had flipped yourself onto your stomach and then onto knees to ride your fingers, hips grinding away as you imagined him underneath you. Fuck, the way he used to look staring back up at you with those hungry copper eyes, hands greedily clinging around the meat of your hips as he shoved you down harder onto his cock before he would inevitably flip you onto your back to pound into you; it was enough to make you salivate with need, but still you tried to keep quiet.

You thought yourself sneaky, keeping things to a minimum as you desperately drew out your release, but Ghost was not the same man he was when he was alive. His senses were different now, enhanced like a wild animal’s by the infection that took his life and made him into something entirely new. As he stood in the living room, staring blankly out the window to watch for any signs of undead, something caught his attention.

The scent of pheromones were on the air, enticing him forward to the upstairs. He followed it all the way to the back bedroom, your room. Slowly, silently, creeping towards the door, Ghost peered unblinking through the slit to watch you up on your knees on top of your bed, your pants hanging slack around your hips while your ass point upward towards the door. That motion, he knew it; that back and forth sway of your hips over top of your bed. 

There was another fragrance on the air now, something more familiar. Taking a deep breath, his heightened sense of smell caught the scent of your natural lubrication currently soaking your fingers and it awoke something deep within him like a fire in chest akin to what an animal feels when it goes into heat. His slack mouth began to unconsciously salivate as ingrained memories surfaced, flashes of remembered sensations from times when he too enjoyed such pleasures. Inherent, primal, a reaction as innate as breathing.  

It was then that he became acutely aware of a tightness growing down below and instinctually he cupped his hand around it, rubbing the growing bulge against his chilly palm. Was he actually getting hard? That was surprising as anyone would have expected that to not happen anymore; he had retained much of his humanity, but he had not had the time until now to explore all the facets of what that entailed.

The more he rubbed the more it grew until the front of his pants tented out near the zipper, straining so hard against the fabric that he had to wonder if he could pop the closure without even trying. God, it felt…amazing.

“Fuck, Simon,” he caught the whispered hiss through the silence as you pressed your body down harder onto the bed, onto your fingers, and it sent a shiver up his spine. The way you said that name he hadn’t heard in so long, in that desperate way almost as a plea to your lust to fulfill its unspoken promise and wash that euphoric feeling over you, caused memories to violently resurface. He had heard that before in just that exact way- from you.

Scattered and disjointed memories of you beneath him burst into his minds eye, brought back to life by the sound of your voice: you writhing with eyes closed, your skin glistening with perspiration in the pale light of a dimly lit room, bare breasts bouncing up and down with each of his strong thrusts, crying his name into the silence as you came.

If breathing was something he was still required to do those lungs would be heaving by now to bring in enough air as he was so worked up that he would surely be panting. His hand gripped tighter now around the head of his cock, stroking with more purpose now as his dilated pupils followed the curve of your back all the down to your ass to watch it bob up and down.

The pace of his hand quickened to match your rocking as if fucking you by proxy, stroking through his clothes while transfixed on you. Goddamn he wished he could remember the way you felt wrapped around him, but that sensation had been lost when he succumbed to the disease. All he could do was watch and enjoy the way your body looked while your movements became more sloppy as the warmth gathered in the pit of your stomach, that delicious heat that you had not felt in so long.

“Yes, yes,” you mewled under your breath while your thighs clenched around your hand as you were so close. You brought in another finger to join the first one and with both you slipped them inside your entrance; it was nothing like the way Ghost could fill you out, but it would have to do.

Bearing down hard while you kept the pace steady, your breathing more erratic, you finally reached the peak and spilled violently over the edge, tumbling down as your body writhed and jerked through the overwhelming intensity of that first orgasm. You stifled your cries as much as you could inside your mouth, but they still reached an unknown listener who nearly came himself if he had not had to move quick before being spotted.

…and that left him very frustrated…   

You fell onto the mattress, removing your fingers from your pussy as you breathed out a sigh of contented relief. It hadn’t been clear just how much you needed that until you came and fuck did you feel on cloud nine now. As you rolled over onto your stomach to stare up at the ceiling while you rode out the wave of your euphoric high, you swore you heard a series of strange movement just outside your door; a soft few taps that sounded like they were getting farther away which would have been out of place, but the house you were currently boarded up in was old and so you convinced yourself it was nothing.

Besides, if anything was truly wrong, Ghost would have already alerted you by now. 

It was several minutes you just laid there in the silence before you took one last deep breath to calm yourself as you got up to straighten your clothing and re-buttoned your pants, hoping that your self-pleasuring session had gone completely unnoticed to your companion as you headed back down stairs to double check that everything was still secure.

In his usual spot you found him standing, always watching with that unblinking gaze, but as you stepped into the living room his sight was immediately drawn to you. “Hey,” you greeted him, “everything still okay out there?”

The usual grunted reply was returned and you stepped over to where he stood, just to take a look for yourself. It didn’t hurt to have another set of eyes to catch things and you felt more comfortable checking for yourself anyway. Scanning the area outside you saw nothing out of place, but as you pulled back from the window you were met with those cold eyes directly staring at you.

Silently Ghost’s large hand came up to touch your cheek, rubbing his thumb across a certain flush pooling there that drew his curiosity and he grunted with a nod of his head at it. You diverted your gaze, suddenly self-conscious about how warm they were still, like a fucking beacon calling attention to what it was you were doing upstairs; not that you cared, but shit you didn’t need your business plastered all over your face like that.

“It’s nothing,” you reassured him with a chuckle. “Just got a bit warm I guess. I promise I’m not infected or anything like that.”

Fully expecting him to take you at your word you went to move over to the sofa, but his hand clung to the side of your face to keep you in your place. You tilted your head as he shook his own side to side slowly. 

“What? Don’t believe me?” you picked, slightly concerned about this strange development; he had not acted in such a way before and you did not know if it was a part of the infection or not. 

Again he shook his head before his eyeline lowered down your body until his sight stopped at the crotch of your pants. Shit, had he heard you? Could he smell the trace amounts cum still clinging to your cunt? There was no real way to tell, but the way his eyeline kept drifting down before meeting your own again was enough to indicate that he was aware of what you had just done. 

You cleared your throat. “You know what I was doing, don’t you?” you asked and was met with another nod, this time to the affirmative.

Well, nothing to do about it now; what was the point of denying it? “Look, I just… needed something to take the edge off okay?” you spurted out. “I mean fuck, I still have needs, even if they had to be put on the back burner for a bit while we tried not to get overrun. You of all people should know how I get sometimes. At least I was quiet enough not to cause problems for us.”

Ghost looked back at you with those milky white eyes, but there was something behind them, something that you recognized, something… yearning. Suddenly you were aware that his other hand was on your hip now, tracing sloppy circles around the soft warm skin just under the hem of your shirt. 

Goddamn the familiarity of his fingers lingering over old paths they used to take in times almost forgotten; if you closed your eyes, it was like you were right there back with him. Your chest was tight with the increased thumping of your heartbeat in your throat, the air not filling up your lungs as well now as he pulled you in a little closer to him until your bodies were against one another. 

That was when you felt something against your thigh.

“Can you…?” you risked asking the question. No, there was no way that he could still get hard, right? Right? 

A large, cold hand wrapped around your wrist and brought it down to his crotch where he rested your palm against it and to your surprise the bulge in his pants responded to your touch. Your eyes shot back up to his as your breathing hitched. 

“Fuck,” you murmured and was promptly met with a grunt from him followed by a deep chuckle. 

Perhaps it was the history, the knowledge of what his body used to give you; perhaps it was the need that you had not truly quenched fully yet; perhaps it was your memories that you’d used as you touched yourself; or maybe it was as simple as you still wanted him; whatever the reason it didn’t matter. All you knew was that you couldn’t stop yourself from wanting more of what you started upstairs.  

Hesitantly your fingers grasped at his shirt, slowly tugging at the seam as if to silently ask to be allowed to remove it. Never letting his gaze waiver, Ghost raised his arms and allowed you to pull it up and off over his head. His body was just as you remembered, though quite a bit more pale and the flesh discolored in places, but all the lines and bumps, scars and imperfections were the same and as you ran those delicate fingertips over his skin it all came flooding back.

This is crazy, you told yourself. But it was the end of the world after all, why not go out with a bang?

“It’s been a while,” you said, gaze taking him all in. “God, you always did make my heart race just taking off your shirt, ya know.”

“Uhh,” he grunted in agreement. 

The contrast in body temperature between you both was stark and he enjoyed the warm, tingling feeling your finger left behind wherever they went. He had not felt such a phenomenon in so long that it was like lightening striking inside his mind as nerve endings reignited. It went the same with his pants as you undid them to let them hang loosely around his hips.

Following your lead, he helped you out of your shirt as well so that you stood bare chests facing one another. Your nipples were already hardening as they hit the cool air and he ran a fingertip over the tiny rosebuds to feel them. You were perfection, a sight of decadent flesh that fueled that hungry need he had to abruptly cut off before and the more he stared the more it grew.

The couch sat just behind you and taking your hand in his he moved the few steps over it to take a seat. Grabbing onto your hips and turning you around, he pulled you down onto his lap to sit on top of him. That throbbing bulge barely covered by the pants slipping off him was straining even harder now and you had to open your legs so that it could comfortably stand at attention in between them.

Situated on him you leaned your warm, bare back against his chest, those muscles that you knew by touch alone were now clammy, yet still familiarly fit against you just as they always had. Ghost took those stiff, cold fingers and ran them slowly down the line of your neck to your chest, around the tissue of your breast and down still to the curve of your hip. 

Being touched that way by another, by him, after so fucking long made your skin tingle and you leaned your head back against his shoulder to close your eyes and simply enjoyed the icy prickles his fingers created. He brought those fingers back up all the winding way to your throat and then back down again, except he did not stop at your hip this time. 

Lower he walked those decaying digits into your lap, then inside the waistband of your jeans, and then all the way down until he was inside your panties. You didn’t try to stop him, instead letting your knees fall open to give him more access. The further he went the more he could feel just how warm you were, the damp heat radiating off your cunt and into his pulse-less palm as he cupped his hand around your sex.

“Christ,” you exclaimed in shock as your body jolted against him, your pussy still a good bit sensitive from before. 

“Uhhh,” he groaned in response, intrigued by how much he enjoyed causing such a visceral reaction and wanting to replicate it. 

Again your scent filled his nostrils, those delicious pheromones that he had caught a whiff of earlier, and it began to awaken something primal within him. Taking his fingers, he drug them heavily over the slit of your cunt until they slipped between your petals and into that still dripping core. Again your body jolted into him as those thick fingers rubbed the length until he found what he had unconsciously been searching for: a small bundle towards the top. 

“Ugh,” that deep groan was more breathless this time, as if he were enjoying the feeling of your juices coating his fingers.  

Cool fingers began stroking against your clit with a rhythm that was ingrained in him from past experience and it was like falling right back into old habits. Your hips started to roll over his hand as they were want to do in response to his movements so that it was like a dance of give and take and he had to wrap an arm around your waist to keep you from slipping, but it was worth it to feel the way your body moved.

Like an animal a strange compulsion awakened inside, enhanced by the disease coursing through his veins, and the untamed part of his new nature was flooded with the need to rut into you. The more music you made, the more it filled his chest until the sensation became too much to quell. 

With a growl he moved you both to the floor in a rush, ripping your jeans off of you in one strong tug before pushing you forward and pulling your hips up so that you had to get on your knees. He too knelt behind you as he shoved the fabric of his clothing down enough to release his engorged cock and taking both of your hips into his preternatural grasp, so firm that his fingertips made the muscle sting, he aligned the head with your slit. 

This was crazy, highly dangerous, and slightly insane, but you couldn’t stop, not with how your body felt being pleasured for the first time in well over a year by someone who knew it. Whatever the consequences you’d deal with them later, right now you just needed to be filled to the brim with everything he had. 

Instinct knew what to do and slipping through your petals a few times, he rested the head against your opening and with a strong thrust shoved himself inside as far as he could go. Goddamn you had forgotten the actual feeling of how big he was, but there must be something in being undead that made him even more engorged because his girth almost more than the walls of your pussy could handle. Fuck, you were so full of him that when he finally pulled out of you it would feel so goddamn empty it would physically hurt.

You were aware that his cool palm was on your back now, running up the length of your spine to just between your shoulders where Ghost stopped to shove your top half down further into the ground so that your ass would rise more and without more of pause he began to thrust in and out of you furiously. Each stroke stretched you out more until the sting subsided and that was left was the satisfying euphoria that comes with being filled so full.

“Simon,” you moaned out his name and a dormant part of his brain lit up. Hearing it for the first time upstairs was nice, but being inside of you as you breathed life into that moniker was the highest level of ecstasy he had experienced yet.

And he need more. “UH,” he growled with force as he slammed into you from behind to make your ass bounce off of his hips. 

You braced your hands under your head to steady yourself, but it did little; the man inside of you was gone and all you could do was hang on. Still, even with his roughness, the way his cock still reached those desperate nerve endings inside of you made the arch of your back even more pronounced. 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” you choked out the exclamation as your voice vibrated from the impacts. 

Harder and faster Ghost pounded your pussy from behind, throwing caution to the wind as he grunted and groaned like a beast on the hunt about to capture a fresh kill. You were so fucking warm, so gorgeously wet, that even his dead skin felt reanimated so that each brush of your body against him had him reeling in pleasure. 

This was the closest he would get to feeling like a living thing again.

Stopping suddenly he ripped his cock out of you amidst your begging protests to flip you onto your back, brutishly pulling your ass onto his knees. Your thighs rested high around his torso, squeezing against him as he immediately thrust back into that warm, wet hole and expeditiously returned to that overwhelming rhythm. 

The room was filled with the wet, sticky music of your bodies slapping against each other as Ghost worked your hole for all it was worth with a reckless abandon that you had not seen in him before. This wasn’t love, not something tender, but only pure animalistic lust and the more he stroked in and out of you the more he needed.

And then he felt it; a warmth in his stomach like he had swallowed coals. It started faint, almost indistinguishable until it had nearly filled him full the more he kept going. 

He couldn’t stop, he couldn’t back down, he was so close he could taste it. You weren’t far off either, nearly at the peak of your second orgasm the harder his cock stroked in and out of you, stimulating your clit along with it just from the pressure of his thrusts. 

“Shit, don’t stop,” you pleaded pathetically to him, your toes curling into the air as you focused on your breathing. Right there, it was right there; all he had to do was keep going.   

A few more pumps of him deep in your core and that was it, like a hot flash of white light you cried out in shaky whimpers as your orgasm tore through with such force you shot up as your back arched and your hips bucked harshly into him. “Goddammit Simon, fuck.”

He wasn’t far behind as the warmth that had been building finally shot through his body, coursing like a burning river of fire through his veins as he ripped his cock out of you and through your thighs to cover your stomach in his milky white semen. The roar he released while he drained his cock dry over top of you rang out through the house like a wild animal’s cry until he hung limply over top of you, completely spent.

Everything lay still once again as you caught your breath, allowing your ecstasy to run its course before you even tried to move out from against him. As you came to sit up, once again you were met with his eyes watching you closely. It felt like he was admiring his handiwork: the flush in your cheeks, the sweat speckling your torso, the exhaustion in your limbs. 

He had done that…and he liked it.

You flashed him a genuine smile. “Well, that was something wasn’t it?” you laughed and he chuckled deadoan along with you. 

Maybe the end of the world didn’t have to be so bad after all. At least, now you both knew that there were ways to have a little fun… and oh fuck, were you going to keep having little bits of fun.

#zombie!ghost #zombie #call of duty #ghost cod #ghost x reader #ghost mw2 #cod mw2 #zombie!ghost smut #cod smut #ghost smut #zombie!ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley smut #simon ghost riley smut

[c-is-for-circinate]

It feels like there's this narrative that fandom keeps wanting to explore, with Steve Harrington, about this very specific type of martyrdom where self-sacrifice is an expression of a lack of self-worth. And, like, yes, write the narrative that's meaningful to you, and yes ok Steve does admittedly get beaten up a lot, but -- legitimately I do not think this narrative is actually Steve's story.

Like, without gendering things too much, there is something in the Steve fanon that I keep seeing that's so reflective of the specific kind of sacrifice and societal pressures exerted on girls, specifically -- this story of 'you make yourself worthy and worthwhile by carving pieces out of yourself', of believing that you must always give and never receive to justify the space you take up in the world. Yes, boys can experience this same pressure (and obviously trans and nb people of all genders run into it as well! sometimes a lot!), but especially in the mid-1980s cultural context where Stranger Things takes place, it's just...really not likely to be a dominant narrative for Steve to be operating under? It doesn't even really match the Steve we see on screen -- who is happy to make sacrifices for the sake of others, yeah, when needed, but who's not particularly kind or giving unless somebody asks first.

And Steve does get hurt a lot on other people's behalf! And this is a problem! It's just a completely different problem than the one fandom keeps writing.

Steve, and I'm going to say this forever, is a story about toxic masculinity, which the show may or may not even know it's writing. The archetypes influencing Steve's character as it shows up on the screen (and the stories and messages that Steve would actually be surrounded by in his actual life) are not deconstructions of suffering heroes who never should have had to fight in the first place and were destroyed by it. That's the Buffy the Vampire Slayer story. Steve's not Buffy. Steve's cultural context is Indiana Jones.

Steve is The Guy! And part of being The Guy is that you're expected to take the hits -- not because Steve is less important than the women-and-children he's supposed to protect, but because, the story says, he will get less hurt. Why should Steve get in between Billy and Lucas? Because Steve is an eighteen-year-old athlete and Lucas is in middle school, and of the two of them, Steve actually stands a chance. (And yes, Steve got badly hurt there, and Max had to save him -- but if Lucas, if Max had taken that beating they would not have been running through those tunnels later.) Was somebody else better-qualified to dive down to the uncertain bottom of a cold lake in the middle of the night? Steve doesn't list his credentials there as a way of justifying some ideal of martyrdom; he is literally the most likely person on the boat not to drown.

And make no mistake: when Steve's pulled into the Upside-Down, he survives the bats long enough for backup to get there. Realistic or not, he's apparently tough enough that he's physically capable of hiking barefoot through hell without much slowing down. Steve is the tank for the same reason as any tank: because he literally has been shown to have the most hit points in the group. You cannot honestly engage with Steve in this context without dealing with the fact that he's right.

AND THIS IS A PROBLEM! This is still a problem! But it's not the same problem that fandom seems to expect. It's not an expression of caretaking or the need for self-sacrifice; it's not an issue with Steve valuing himself less. It's an issue of toxic masculinity so ingrained that Steve doesn't even recognize he's suffering from it, because one of the tenets of toxic masculinity is that Big Strong Guys don't suffer. It's just a concussion, it's fine, he'll walk it off. It's not that Steve thinks he deserves to get hurt, or even that he's less deserving of safety than the others. It's that absolutely nothing in his cultural context allows him to admit that he can be hurt in a significant way.

There's still so much tension that can be gotten out of this situation, I swear. There's so much that can be explored in writing! Hell, the show itself is deconstructing some of this trope, believe it or not, by giving us a Steve who absolutely can take all the hits thrown his direction but still doesn't know what the fuck he's doing with his life. It turns out that doing his job as The Guy is only mildly helpful in horror movie situations (mostly by buying time for smarter, squishier people to do the damage from behind him), and somewhere a little worse than useless in everyday life.

But Steve does not go out of his way to self-sacrifice, he really doesn't. He just does his job. He's The Guy. Of course he's not going to let a kid or a girl or some scared skinny nerd who just learned about monsters yesterday take the hits. Of course Steve's got this.

#Stranger Things #do I dare character-tag this #does this count as an Unpopular Opinion if I'm calling out fanon #eh let's be bold #Steve Harrington #and #toxic masculinity #which is apparently just A Thing I Post About Now

[mymainwastoocluttered]

Are You Lonesome Tonight? (Floyd, Jade)

The Leech twins are very particular about one thing in specific: anything that's boring is a big no. That includes their dating life.

NOTE: I only write for female reader but everyone is welcome to read it!

There we go, folks, I finally opened my Elvis playlist after resisting for so long. It's like I haven't learned anything in all my past Fandoms. Also... second part, maybe?

The eels call each other "other half" because I think it's cute

ANGST. But not just for Reader ;) With a hopeful ending? Maybe?

This has a SEQUEL!

— (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

— Floyd

Floyd's relationship is going well. So well that it's a problem. Now Shrimpy is old news, and will willingly show Floyd everything she is and does, taking away the thrill of hunting down that information.

And worse, Floyd has become predictable to her. She can tell what he is feeling and what he'll do just as well as Jade, which takes away the fun of being a wild card, even if most of the time she lets him do whatever he wants.

Differently from Azul, the eels, and specially Floyd, do not enjoying the curse of knowing. The unexpected has always been more interesting.

But now he's bored of this relationship. And Floyd is not one for sticking around to boring things without knowing they'll have interesting results.

"Shrimpy, let's break up," he bluntly tells her as soon as he arrives to their usual lunch spot at the Monstro Lounge. "You're no fun anymore."

The girl stares up to him, and he feels a rush of pleasure at the whirlwind of feelings in her eyes betraying her blank expression. Oh, at least she gave him a last moment of enjoyment! Maybe, if she keeps showing all those feelings, he'll keep her around as a friend–

Then she blinks and the feelings are gone, all replaced by a calm tide of understanding and kindness. She smiles at him, her usual gentle smile back in place, and gets up, leaving her half drank drink and some money on the table.

"I understand, Floyd," she says, and her voice trembles a little before steading. Shrimpy gently takes one of his hands and squeezes between hers. "Thank you so much for all those happy memories. I hope we can still be friends and that you find someone who will keep you entertained."

Then she drops his hand and scurries off. Floyd is left in the middle of Monstro Lounge, silent and frozen, the warmth on his hand slowly fading as time moves on. It takes him another minute to snap out of it, and now he's in a terrible mood and he doesn't even know why. He was supposed to be happy! The boring thing was taken care of! He's free! Free!

Except he spends the rest of the day sulking. Except he ends the day depressingly throwing himself on the bed and clutching his pillow with trembling hands. Except he tosses and turns and dreams of (Y/N). Except he wakes up grumpy. Except he does terribly at classes and gets scolded. Except he works terribly at Monstro Lounge and gets scolded. Except he doesn't even feel like getting annoyed at the scoldings. Except he spends the rest of the day sulking. Except he ends the days staring at his ceiling with a blank expression. Except he starts the days grumpy and tired. Except he skips classes because he feels like breaking something. Except he gets scolded every day for missing class and being late for work. Except

"Floyd, this is enough," Jade appears in his line of view, openly worried as he leans down to look at his twin. "What is bothering you so much? You're tearing up."

Floyd blinks, finally noticing the wetness in his eyes. Jade sits on his bed and Floyd sits up to stare at him. This is not a scolding. This is an intervention, one of Jade's rare moments of care, where he drops all his lies and half-truths.

Much how his Shrimpy used to do.

"Floyd..." Jade murmurs, hands cupping Floyd's face and thumbs catching his tears. "What is the matter, my other half?"

"... I broke up with Shrimpy," Floyd sobs, not holding back his tears or his words. "I thought... I thought she was boring, and she was! There's never anything interesting anymore, so I– I broke up with her, but... Hic...!"

With a wail, he throws himself at his brother's arms, squeezing him with all his might, hiding his face in his neck. He's crying harder than he has in years, the last time being when they were children. Jade only hugs him back, hand soothingly rubbing his back, knowing exactly what his twin needs. Floyd sobs out more words, some he can't even understand himself, but his other half only listens, nodding every now and then to assure him that he's being listened to.

Once he's done crying, he's so tired that he doesn't protest when Jade lays him back on his bed and then takes his place by his side. Sharing a bed comes naturally to them, and so does the cuddling. Usually, Floyd would tease Jade for being a softie, but he doesn't have the strength to muster even a huff.

"It seems, Floyd, that your feelings run deeper than just interest," Jade says after a moment, ungloved fingers running through Floyd's hair. "You probably... no, you definitely like her, romantically. Maybe you even love her."

"I don't love boring things!"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but she is not a thing, brother," Floyd can't believe that mister schemer said that also, but Jade's words are upsettingly making too much sense. "She's a girl you seem to hold dearly."

"But, then, why was she boring?"

"... I can't answer that, my other half. I'm not even sure you were bored. Every time I saw you with her, I thought you were at your happiest."

Floyd deflates even more, cuddling his brother for comfort, wishing he was cuddling his Shrimpy. She'd always let him cuddle and squeeze her, and giggle when he'd knead her sides or nip her shoulder. It was... nice. Not exactly fun, but nice. Made him feel warm. Warm like when she'd bring him food she cooked herself. She'd repeat the dishes he liked, and it was... nice. Warm. Like her kisses, always so gentle and sweet. Expected. Nice.

Not really fun. But really nice.

It didn't make his blood pump, but it warmed him. Made him... satisfied.

"... I wanna my Shrimpy back."

"Fufufu... should we prepare then?"

— (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

— Jade

"I'd like to talk to you later."

Her eyes widen for a moment before she nods, and Jade relishes in the nervousness creeping up her back. A very rare feeling when it comes to his girlfriend lately.

(Y/N) was the most interesting person when they first met, and in all aspects but teir relationship, she still is, what with her lack of magic, her determination and her pechant for getting in troubro helping others. But months into a relationship, and Jade has found everything there is to find about her. Sure, the shenanigans she brings are always entertaining, but he doesn't need to be more than a friend to be part of those.

Doesn't need to waste effort into maintaining a romantic relationship.

So he won't. Jade loves being efficient, after all.

Which is why there's already a paid drink on the table when she arrives at Monstro Lounge. If he wants in whenever shenanigans happen, he needs to at least be liked and trusted enough to be an option in case things got bad. So a proper, honest break up is the best. He even lets her take a sip of the drink and swallow it before opening his mouth, to avoid her choking.

"I'll be direct, since I don't want to drag such unpleasant moment much longer," he starts, staring right at her eyes, "The truth is... I'm breaking up with you."

Silence.

"C-Can I ask why?" (Y/N) stutters, playing with the drink's straw. "Did I do something?"

"Oh, no, you did nothing. And that's the problem. You see, me and my brother... we don't like boring."

He knows he's being cruel now, but he wants to finish this quickly. Jade is the type of person with much to do and very little time, so every minute is precious.

"Oh..." she mumbles, taking a deep breath before mustering up a smile. It looks a bit crooked, but it is still as kind as always. "Right. I understand. Thank you for being honest, Jade. I hope we can still be friends...?"

"Of course, I'd love that."

"Right... right. I'm gonna- I'm gonna go now, ok? Thanks for the drink."

She runs off, no doubt going to tell her friends about the break up. If it's her usual group, then she'll be fine. Jade takes the glass, finishes the drink in one go and immediately moves to the next task on his long, long list.

Jade does very well the days after the breakup. He excels at work, he excels at school, he excels at keeping his brother from bothering others too much, he excels at taking care of his terrariums. Truly, he's so efficient, one would believe he is the one with either ten limbs or a cloning magic. He's so effficient that he... doesn't have as many tasks as before.

And without tasks to fill in the time, it becomes obvious the holes in his schedule. Without a girlfriend to walk to class, he has to wander the hallways alone. Without a girlfriend to cook with, he has to cook and clean alone. Without a girlfriend to tutor, he doesn't know what to do but sit on the library with his textbooks open, all assignments completed to perfection. Once the amount of tasks went down, his time alone went up, and he has no idea how to feel about it.

He knows even less how to feel when he sees (Y/N) talking with that Savanaclaw first year—what was his name again? Jake? Jack?—animatedly, touching his arm and even leaning on it, sharing with him her pretty giggles and shining smiles while the boy drinks up her attention with a bright blush and a fake scowl. They walk off arm in arm, and Jade stands there, stupefied, feeling something inside him tear like paper.

"Other half, what is it?"

"Floyd?"

Floyd approaches with uncharacteristically worried eyes, hands raising to cup his face. Jade allows him, only to flinch back when he feels a thumb smear something wet on his cheek.

Oh.

"... who did this?" Floyd growls, and Jade is warmed by the knowledge that his brother, his twin, his other half, is always willing to fight in his name.

"I did this to myself," he admits quietly, stepping closer to the other. Floyd is clearly confused, but accepts his brother in his arms nonetheless, understanding that Jade is feeling a bit too vulnerable at the moment. "It seems not even I am safe from stupid mistakes."

"Of course, you silly fishy~" the other pats his back lightly, squeezing him with all his might in an attempt to comfort. "What did you do?"

"... I broke up with (Y/N)."

"Oh, that's stupid."

"Thanks."

"It's the truth," Floyd shrugs, now patting his head. "You really love Shrimpy, though. Always beaming near her, why did you break up? Did she do something? I'll squeeze her for you!"

"No, no, I just... Thought it was boring."

"... Huh. I didn't have that impression at all. If anything, you always look happy near her, like she hung the moon and stars. It's even sappier than when you're looking at mushrooms."

Jade chuckles softly, knowing that he has no way of denying it. Not when he still spends time to wait for her between classes only to remember the two are not together anymore. Not when he cooks for her and then has to eat it because she's not there anymore. Not when he wants to fight that wolf boy for daring to take away her attention, despite knowing he also has no right to it anymore.

Not when he loves her so dearly, and still broke up with her.

He needs to get her back.

"... Floyd. Would you like to join me in my next plan?"

"What's the plan? If it's fun, you can count on me~"

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst imagines #twst x reader #x fem reader #jade leech x reader #jade leech #floyd leech #floyd leech x reader #twst angst

[randoimago]

Hi, not sure if this counts toward your no-crossover rules but can I have Megumi, Gojo, Maki and Noritoshi with a rival reader who is like Gai from Naruto?

If not then just them with a rival relationship with the reader.

With a Rival Reader

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Character(s): Satoru Gojo, Noritoshi Kamo, Make Zenin, Megumi Fushiguro

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): Reader having the personality of a character from another fandom is exactly why I have the no crossover rule in place (I kept getting tons of asks for Reader with various personalities with characters that it started feeling unoriginal and a bit boring to write).

I will be happy to write the second one for you though!! Also, it wasn't mentioned if Reader is supposed to be an S/O or not so these are mostly Platonic

Gojo

Oh this cocky piece of shit can't help but laugh when he hears that you consider yourself his rival, because he certainly doesn't. He has only known one person that he'd count as a rival and that person is long gone.

Sure, go ahead and keep training and pushing yourself to be stronger. He likes the idea of being used as motivation for you to push yourself (probably makes jokes about you being obsessed with him or smth)

Of course, when he does realize that you do have a similar power level to him, that's when things get interesting. Gojo has very specific goals and way of thinking and so he'll definitely want to get you on his side at least. It'd be fun for the strongest two people to pair up and scare the rest of the higher ups shitless.

Maki

She likes the motivation you give her to get stronger. Not that she needed much motivation from you, but it's a good way for her to access her own strengths compared to someone else.

So long as your rivalry is just as jujutsu sorcerers then she can deal with it. Don't mess with her chances with the Zenin clan though.

If you try to be her rival in other aspects (relationships, for example) then she doesn't get it. Now, if you bring up Yuta then she'll start getting flustered and fight you about it.

Megumi

He doesn't even realize that you view him as a rival. Megumi is mostly focused on himself and getting better with his own abilities. It isn't until you challenge him and actually call yourself his rival out loud that he gets it.

Is a tiny bit amused that you'd declare yourself as his rival when he didn't even view you as such previously. He isn't trying to insult you, his focus just wasn't on you (which still sounds a bit insulting).

Honestly, your "rivalry" ends up with you interacting with Itadori and Nobara a lot which just causes more exhaustion for him since now there's someone else's antics to deal with.

Noritoshi

Doesn't even view you as his rival (this time it is an insult, unlike with Megumi). Noritoshi has very personal goals in mind and he's not going to compete with someone that knows nothing about him.

You can be his rival all you want, but he's not going to acknowledge you. Noritoshi works and does as his clan says. Accepting your challenges or rising to any taunts you have isn't going to happen (unless you mention his mom then he might kill you).

And yet, as much as he claims you aren't his rival, he can't help but be jealous and upset with you. You're able to just casually call yourself his rival without a care in the world. He would love to be able to have the freetime to play along with you, but he doesn't because he has to continue to pretend to be a good boy for his clan if he wants to build a home for his mother to come back.

#Anonymous #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #noritoshi kamo x reader #noritoshi x reader #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x reader #maki zenin x reader #maki x reader

[cozy-cinnamon-roll]

Stitches (Part II)

(Read Part I Here! used to be We Interrupt This Broadcast... changed the name because I feel like this fits better 😅)

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairing: Ler!Rosie, Ler!OC, Lee!Alastor (strictly platonic)

Content/Trigger Warnings: tickling, very brief blood mention, medical themes (non-graphic & painless). And again, this is set right after Alastor gets his ass handed to him by Adam, so you can expect some angst (don't worry, he gets better).

If there are any trigger warnings you'd like me to add in the future (and/or to this fic), PLEASE let me know! I am always happy to oblige. 💕

This is a ticklefic! If that's not your cup of tea, kindly move along.

"Almost ready" I said. "Basically finished" I said. Sorry y'all, the Chronic Illness Fairy struck. 😅 I will say this was my favorite part to write, but also the one I'm most uncertain about... bit more angst in this installment and I'm not much of an angst writer lol... but with Rosie in the mix (especially as a ler), angst never lasts long. 🥰

Also I changed the title. Hopefully it's not confusing that way... cuz without Part 1 this fic makes zero sense 😅

One last thing... I'm so happy y'all like Trudy! Was thinking about posting a lil sketch of her at some point (I need a new insomnia project now that this fic is done 😅). I've been having a truly awful few weeks on the anxiety front, so all the positive feedback on Part I has been quite literally making my days 💕

Hope you enjoy!!

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Ooh, you stubborn little bastard. You're still gonna refuse to laugh?" Rosie mutters.

Alastor doesn't dare try to speak. All he can manage is a defiant shake of his head.

"Look, my friend. If you 'don't mind a little tickling,' and getting all giggly is your specialty…" Rosie tweaks his bottom rib, eliciting a noise that comes just short of a squeak. "What, exactly, is the problem here?"

"I'm supposed to be in control!" he grinds out through his twitching grin.

"You are in control, sir." Trudy abruptly withdraws her hands, holding them up innocently. "You can tell me to stop at any time."

Alastor cringes. He was sorta hoping no one would point that out.

"Which is why I find it so fascinating that you haven't yet." A sly smirk creeps across Rosie's face.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

"I- I'm humoring you!"

"Humoring me?" Rosie tilts her head. "My dear, I hope you're not doing this just for my sake. If you don't want Trudy to check for further injury-"

"No, I do! O-on my terms!"

"This is on your terms."

"Yes, but-"

"In fact, you insisted."

He stumbles again, before mumbling another meager, "…to humor you!"

Trudy shoots her boss a disoriented look - but Rosie, as usual, is hearing her friend loud and clear.

"Alastor." Rosie rolls her eyes, gestures for Trudy to step aside, and scoots over to place a hand on his knee. "Adam is dead. Everyone in hell thinks you're either succumbing to your wounds in some remote gutter or hiding in whatever alternate dimension you just spent the last seven years. You're not even 'on air'." She leans in. "You can drop the act for a moment, if it's what you need."

That certainly hits the mark. For the first time, Alastor's smile falters - not completely dropping, but certainly losing much of the strained quality it's had since he arrived.

"I wish I could, my dear."

Encouraged, Rosie continues. "Well, what's stopping ya? As much as I love spending time with Alastor the Radio Demon… if you wanna take this opportunity to let out whoever's underneath that effervescent grin of yours, you know we wouldn't mind."

Alastor swallows - and for the first time in a decades, Rosie finds his expression difficult to read. "Rosie, I'm afraid I can't really..."

"I mean, you've been holding that same silly show-host-smile for years! Don't tell me you've never gotten tired of it!"

"It's sewn on, Rosie."

"…What?"

He hesitates. "Let's just say today wasn't the first time I've been, ah... stitched up." As he speaks, he gestures to his toothy grin. And for once, there's not a trace of distortion in his voice.

Rosie's dark eyes go wide when she realizes what he means. The cannibal overlord just stands there for a beat, in an uncharacteristic moment of shock.

But, being Rosie, she quickly recovers. "Well, so what?"

"I'm just saying, I'm afraid I can't really drop the act."

"Nonsense! Since when has your act had anything to do with your face?" Rosie flicks her hand, as if brushing the thought aside. "Who cares if you can't show genuine Alastor. I wanna hear him."

"But my microphone..."

"You're doing just fine without it."

Once again, this attempt at reassurance only makes Alastor look more disturbed. "Th-this can't be me!"

"...Well, no. This right here sure isn't the Alastor I know. But…"

Alastor is barely listening to her anymore. His broadcast persona has been his sole identity since he was alive. Now his radio tower has been reduced to rubble, his microphone snapped clean in half, even his carefully-styled clothing left in tatters…

If this is the Genuine Alastor he's now stuck with - panicked, stuttering, weak - he can't imagine how he'll ever be able to face the rest of hell…

But these racing thoughts are once again interrupted by nails tracing up his sides. A sharp yelp cuts the air as poor Alastor just about jumps out of his skin.

"…Perhaps I can offer a little help?" Rosie suggests gently, once she has his undivided (and adorably flustered) attention. "On your terms, of course?"

Alastor just gazes back at her for a long moment. "What do you have in mind?"

"I happen to know something about you that even you can't fake."

The radio demon hesitates… before heaving a sigh and, to Rosie's surprise, giving a small nod of consent.

She breaks into a brilliant (and frankly terrifying) smile.

Before Alastor can brace himself, Rosie's hands have both found his sides and begun working into his waist. Having just watched him squirm around under Trudy's thorough probing twice (and adored every second of it), she already has a pretty good idea of where his worst spots are.

Which is made abundantly clear by Alastor's reaction. Within seconds he's gone from still trying to hold it all in by habit, to giggling into his hands, to cackling hysterically.

And it's the kind of laughter she's spent the last seven years missing. This isn't the confident, taunting chuckle he brings out for battles or brushing off rivals; this is bright, helpless, occasionally hiccuping laughter, the kind that is nearly impossible for him to stop once he starts - and the kind she only has the privilege of hearing when something truly amuses him.

"You can't sew your laughter on," Rosie reminds him. "This is all yours."

Rosie's fingers creep up under his shirt to scribble on bare tummy, adding a couple new sweet spots to her mental catalogue. This technique brings out even more of her favorite little quirks: the way he bats playfully (and completely ineffectually) at her wrists; his repeated attempts to speak around his laughter that only result in frantic spurts of incomprehensible, giggle-laced gibberish.

As she traces her nails across his lower belly she also finds a tiiiny layer of unexpected pudge. Which probably shouldn't surprise her - he's been out of the battle scene for seven years, after all. All those deer carcasses have to go somewhere.

Regardless, she finds it terribly endearing for some reason... and the surge of affection translates into a corresponding surge in the intensity of Rosie's tickles.

"AHaha! Ro- Rosie!" he blurts, his voice jumping a full octave higher than normal. "Stop!!"

Rosie removes her hands immediately. "Stop?"

"Aha- ah- well- I mean, er…" He stumbles breathlessly, and gives a sheepish cough.

"You didn't really want me to stop, did you?"

Rosie resumes with a chuckle, reeling herself in just a little. "How 'bout we say... oh... 'enough,' if you really want me to quit?"

Of course, she has to go and say it out loud.

"M-more of a reflehex..." he admits reluctantly.

Alastor tosses a shaky thumbs-up at her, already too lost in his own giggles to manage a verbal reply.

And he's gotta admit… Rosie was absolutely right. He wouldn't stop her right now for all the souls in hell. There's a reason Alastor has the most recognizable evil cackle of any other overlord. He can't help but find dissolving into laughter as cathartic and exhilarating as always - even if this time, it's not at some poor soul's misfortune. It's a result of his best friend's affection for her darling deer demon.

"As fun as getting your soft little belly is," Rosie muses, pausing to let Alastor catch his breath for a moment, "I can't help but wonder if you're ticklish anywhere else…"

Alastor may be off the air, but Rosie can practically hear the screech of microphone feedback just by the look on his face. "….I plead the fifth."

"Have you considered his ears?" Trudy pipes up shyly. While she'd managed to restrain herself behind an impeccably professional bedside manner earlier, it had taken everything in her power not to stroke Alastor's ears when she'd been close enough to do so. They were just. so. fluffy.

"Ohhh, heavens…" Alastor, for his part, curls in on himself at the mere suggestion.

Rosie grins. "Hey, 'no' is always an option."

A long pause. Alastor can't believe he's considering this. But the sensation of being tickled, as unbearable as it is, does feel awfully pleasant… and it's been so long since anyone has dared to touch him…

And what else does he have to lose at this point, anyway?

"I suppose if you're… very gentle…"

"Are you aware that your ears are the softest thing in the nine circles?"

This stipulation ends up backfiring. When it comes to his ears, gentle is worse. So, so much worse.

Poor Alastor is too busy clutching his stomach and snickering madly into his sleeve to reply.

"I should know, I work in retail. These right here-" Rosie traces her fingers down the feathery-soft edges, sending the radio demon into a new round of hysterics. "-Would fetch a pretty penny."

"They're nohot for saHA-ale!!"

"Nooo, I should say not." Rosie's hapless victim lurches back into the cushions as her fingers find the fluffy region at the base of his ears. Even without the microphone, his cackles have no problem filling the room. "You're the only demon classy enough to wear them."

"And don' you - GAHaha! - f-forget it!" He's so drunk on laughter now that he's beginning to slur his words. His careful elocution has gone the same place as his steady tone, and lack of stutter.

Luckily, he's also far too drunk on laughter to care.

...Right about there, Rosie notices that the faint hum of radio static in the air is no longer just in her head.

He is laughing his heart out for the first time in weeks. Genuinely laughing for the first time in decades. And laughing completely for himself, for his own enjoyment, without need for intimidation or control or image or audience, for the first time since long before he died.

While Trudy typically can't say much for her self-preservation instinct, she's got enough of one to feel hesitant joining her boss in tickling the most powerful overlord in hell (outside the pretense of medical intervention, at least). So she just stands back, watching fondly as The Most Dangerous Overlord This Side of the Pentagram utterly destroys the deer demon.

...At least, until she notices a flicker of green light out of the corner of her eye. Lying forgotten on the end table, the splintered ends of Alastor's microphone are sparking and crackling like live wires.

The surgeon creeps over for a closer look, staring in fascination. And then - just as Rosie gets poor Alastor behind the ears and delivers a scribble to his tummy at the same time - she ever-so-gently nudges the fractured ends closer to one another.

To her surprise, a bright green spark arcs clear across the gap. For a fraction of a second, the whole staff radiates a flash of a familiar green glow.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Keep him laughing, Rosie," Trudy murmurs over her shoulder. It appears the Radio Demon's downfall will be nothing more than an intermission.

Thanks for being so patient with me y'all! Hope it was worth the wait 💕

💜- Cozy

#lee!alastor #ler!rosie #ticklish!alastor #oh deer he's ticklish #hazbin hotel tickling #hazbin hotel tickles #ticklefic #dr. trudy sawblade #my ocs

[radioactive-earthshine]

Hi, I know you already addressed a lot of the mischaracterization of Kon and Clark's relationship, but I was under the impression that Kon actually means 'abomination' in Kryptonian, and that Clark giving him that name was a rejection in itself. I am not very well versed in comics, so I apologize if this is just a fanon concept.

Hello!

You're not alone in being misled, as this concept has stretched far and wide and it is a very common theme in fandom works like fanfic.

The concept of Kon-El meaning "abomination" is canon, not fanon, but its source is from the New 52 reboot.

Some fans have in an attempt to create more angst for Kon adopted the concept that Clark gave Kon this name knowing full well what it meant as a way of rejecting him - this is incorrect - and it is blending versions together to make something that just never actually happened with Clark.

There are two versions of Kon getting his name in a main continuity - one in the 1994 comics, and the other in the New 52 Superboy comics.

To best answer your question, I am going to talk about the New 52 version first where "Kon-El" means abomination.

Also, it is important to remember that this Kon-El, isn't even actually Conner Kent (that's another post for another day comics are weird).

Anyway, in the New 52 reboot Superboy is 'called' Kon-El not by Clark, but by Kara!

Superboy v.6 (2011-2014) #6

In this iteration, Kara has some extreme prejudiced bigotry towards "Kon" for being a clone due to the disastrous history Krypton had involving clones. It prompted her to attempt to kill "Kon" the moment she found out he was a clone after more or less calling him a slur.

Superboy v.6 (2011-2014) #6

You can blame Scott Lobdell for this particular evisceration of Kara's character and for the name Kon-El warping into 'abomination' henceforth.

This particular run and story is no longer relevant to main continuity and it is not attached to Conner Kent because this did not happen to Conner Kent, but it did in fact happen and Krypton's disastrous history involving clones is still canon as well. Kon is still facing varying degrees of discrimination from Kryptonian-based ideology (Eradicator) because he is a clone.

Now let's talk about Clark and Kon and where Kon-El first came from and put a stop to the slander.

Where the name "Kon-El" originally came from was from Conner's 1994 solo series where Clark offered it to him from a place of affection.

Superboy (1994) #59

The original moment of Kon obtaining his name from Clark was profound because up until this point he did not have a proper name. He was just "Superboy" or "Kid" or "Pup" (derogatory) so when Clark offers this Kon is so happy he starts crying.

Superboy (1994) #59

At this point in time in comic history Kon-El did not mean abomination, "Kon" was a real Kryptonian name, and in the original run Clark did not even have any resentment towards Kon or negative feelings about his existence at all. He trusted him, felt he was worthy of the S-shield as a representative of hope, and at this point he wanted him to be part of his family.

This is Clark adopting Kon into his family right here in this moment - because Superman is the tale of the immigrant, the refugee and of love in family where blood does not equal family. That is what he is saying right here in this issue.

It is also important to note that at this point Geoff Johns' making Kon a 'clone' of Lex AND Clark is not canon and Kon is not even supposed to be blood related to Clark.

In closing...

Clark's relationship to Kon/Conner Kent in the main comic continuity is not hostile or rejection-based.

In their comic origins they had a nebulous relationship which over time evolved to being firmly brothers with a huge age gap and now in current continuity they are again brothers but with a different perspective.

Action Comics #1028

Current continuity Clark who doesn't remember Kon at all knows him for less than a week and claims him and he is actually distraught he doesn't remember him.

Fandom is transformative and angst/hostility/rejection will always be a major theme people will love to create and consume - but it is also important to recognize that some details are simply not canon and should be regarded as transformative works to tell a story.

I hope this clears some things up from the comics side of DC.

#superfam #kon el #kon-el #conner kent #clark kent #kara #i am so sorry kara for the way scott did you wrong #dc comics #i feel like i am forgetting something else but tumblr ATE half of this post when i was typing it when i tried to erase something

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

No gonna lie. Your writing is good asf but you're French too?!I'm so happy to see that I'm not the only French speaking writer who writes in English and the fact that it's undertale too? Amazing !

Can I request the main 10 boys and how they would react to a crybaby s/o ? Like not in a bad way? The reader is just really sensitive. If they cry of laughter, they're actually sobbing, angry? Sobbing, happy? Sobbing. Scared?Sobbing.

And well, all of this crying is very exhausting for s/o

If possible, female gendered, but I don't really care, so it's up to you

Thanks if you do, and whether you do or don't, I hope you have a great day/night and that you're safe!

Yeah, we're not a lot of French people in the fandom, but we're very persistent!

Undertale Sans - He never had someone literally sobbing at his puns before so he was a bit surprised at first. Now he's just used to it. He's carrying tissues with him all the time in case there's an emergency. He still can't get over the fact one single pun can kill you though. It's both sad and hilarious, he could never stop bothering you.

Undertale Papyrus - He learned to discern the happy sobs from the sad sobs now. He showed you his notebooks with an exact study of how he differentiates them and he's very proud of it. You think it's so awkward but Papyrus just pats you on the shoulder and tells you that's alright because you can't hide anything from him anyway. He smiles, then leaves. Uh. Well, that was scary.

Underswap Sans - He's probably not the best match. Blue is not that good with people crying. He tends to hide his feelings a lot, and that's because he has a cold head he's a wonderful police officer. He's very awkward when you randomly start to cry and it's stressing him out because he's never sure if he said something wrong or not.

Underswap Papyrus - Welp. The thing with Honey is that he is super super empathetic. This means that whenever you cry, he cries as well lol. It leads to super awkward moments when you try to stop crying but Honey cries so you cry again, and then Honey cries again and it's a never-ending circle. You can't help it.

Underfell Sans - The poor guy already struggles to understand human emotions in the first place, but now he is just so confused. Crying is for sad, but now crying is for literally all the other feelings? How the hell is he supposed to make a difference? Can't you just stick a post-it on your head stating your current mood and if he messed up or not? He can't tell, it's driving him crazy!

Underfell Papyrus - The military school taught him that crying means you're really hurt and on the verge of dying. Now everytime you cries, he comes running in a hurry, completely panicking, and gets so confused when you're actually crying but laughing at the same time??? Are you mocking him? Are you broken? Why can't you use the crying thing like in his books? Humans are so complicated for no reason, it's so frustrating! When you said the book might be lying to him, he's flabbergasted.

Horrortale Sans - He doesn't care what you're crying for. He quickly understood that you crying means he gets free cuddles. You kinda accidentally trained him to come running to you for """comfort""" whenever you're crying. He loves it when you're crying. Please cry more and pet him.

Horrortale Papyrus - He's exactly like you. It's like looking into a mirror. He thinks it's so awkward when you both start crying at the same time. He tries to stop, but he really can't help it. That's problematic when there are people around who are trying to help you two but you're actually dying of laughter. People are so confused.

Swapfell Sans - He's Mr. Poker Face, and he became an expert in reading you so he can translate your feelings to the people around you when you can't talk anymore. He makes it so awkward though, saying to random people you're crying because you saw a cute kitten and can't get over it and that he is in fact not mistreating you. At least he tries to help.

Swapfell Papyrus - Sorry he can't read your feelings right and thinks everything is a joke, even when you're mad at him. He's so confused when you starts to scream at him because actually it's not funny. Usually, he makes himself very little for a few hours after that. Sorry, no one taught him to read the signs, he kinda does his best.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He rolls his eyes at you every time you start to cry lol. Yeah, he still thinks crying is for weak people and he can't really understand why you're so emotive. It's even worse when you're crying affects Coffee and then he has two people he needs to awkwardly comfort by patting their head. Please, stop.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Another one too empathetic that will start to sniff whenever you start to cry and then burst into tears in your arms for no reason. At least he gives good hugs with all the crying, so it's a bonus point.

#undertale #underswap #underfell #horrortale #swapfell #fellswap gold #sans #papyrus #undertale ask blog #undertale asks #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons

[acourtofthought]

I'm going to try to make this the last post where I address this but I'm starting to get frustrated with the narrative that Elucien's should just accept Az and hold in him high regard because "we're on the same side".

Yes, Elucien's and Gwynriel's both share a common goal of being Anti E/riels and we often create posts both sides like because of it. I think it's very clear to both groups that Az with Elain is a ship that exhibits major red flags.

But that's not the reason I ship Elucien, just because Az is bad for Elain so Lucien wins by default.

I actually like Elain and Lucien as individual characters. I think they'll be fantastic together but standing alone I still love them.

Just because I see that Az is setup to be healthier with Gwyn, that does not make up the sum total of his character. His interactions with Gwyn or Nesta are minimal compared to how he is with everyone else.

I think it's safe to say that a good number of Gwynriels support Elucien but don't necessarily like Elain. I joined a FB group that was Pro Gwynriel / Pro Elucien and ended up leaving for the vitriol that was spit Elain's way. It did not feel like a safe place to ship Elucien when I was constantly seeing others drag her.

And I think some in the fandom forget that Elucien's have witnessed this behavior for YEARS, even outside of E/riels. Some Gwynriels have thought nothing of the Elain slander or dislike they participated in and Elucien's have had to sit and just accept it.

Though this is a character SJM herself created and said shares her real life energy. Though this is a character SJM spoke of having a book long before Az was ever discussed as possibly getting his own, we were still forced to listen to her character be torn apart.

And now the Az getting a book chatter has increased tenfold and some Elucien's have started to speak out against Az's behavior.

SJM wrote it so that neither Elain or Lucien has ever said anything negative about Gwyn or Az.

But she did write Az as being problematic towards both Elain and Lucien.

If Elain and Lucien are someone's favorite ship and they genuinely have love for their characters, do Az stans TRULY believe we're supposed to show Az the same respect we do for Lucien?

When Az said Lucien wasn't good enough for Elain?

When Az said Elain couldn't handle the darkness of the Trove?

When Az didn't care whether Lucien murdered Graysen or when Az was fine being arrogant over defeating Lucien in the Blood Duel?

Please take the time to consider why Az's behavior towards Nesta or even Gwyn doesn't erase away Az's past behavior towards everyone else for some of us? Towards his own High Lady? The way he acts towards Helion? Please understand why not all Eluciens would care to see Az getting his own HEA with a female he JUST met and has shown no romantic inclination towards yet as he's fixated on Mor and Elain while Lucien continues to suffer with his unfulfilled bond and Az believes Lucien isn't good enough for her anyway.

I understand why Az stans are pumped for his book but please do not act like we should all be on the same side just because we are both Anti E/riels. Don't act like we're suddenly trouble makers because we're calling Az out for the wrongs we'd like to see righted and for what would be justice for Lucien's character, if Az did have to see him happy with his own mate before Az was granted the gift of his own.

Az could get his own book next and Elucien's will have to deal with it but stop acting like Elucien's who have been waiting for their story to be told since 2016 and whose favorites are constantly being belittled within the fandom (Lucien from E/riels and Elain from some Gwynriels) aren't well within their rights to be a little irritated by Az at this point.

This isn't even an Anti Azriel post because I realize that he will be redeemed and get his HEA. But let's not pretend there's not valid things he needs to atone for.

For us, it's not just about proving E/riels wrong but for Lucien's suffering to finally come to an end. For the Elain haters to finally reconsider.

After nearly a decade, you'd think there'd be a little more understanding for Elucien's and why they're not mooning over the possibility of an Az book being the next book.

#anti e/riel #lucien vanserra #elain archeron #pro elucien #pro elain archeron #pro lucien vanserra #elucien #Anti Azriel

[softlyspector]

Then and Now

Summary: The boys want a second pass at that fucking money. They need your help. The only problem is that you and Santiago aren't talking, not anymore, not since everything went so sideways.

Pairing: Santiago "Pope" Garcia x Reader

Word Count: ~15.5k

Warnings: angst, pining, canon level violence, lots and lots of cursing, PTSD and assorted metal health issues, smut (p in v), best friend Benny Miller (yeah it needs a warning), reader has a nickname (Blue) in the same way the others do (Pope, Fish, etc.) sparingly used

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please forgive anything that is militarily inaccurate/inaccurate to the ravine location, I changed some things to fit the story better. I am so very aware I'm basically writing in what is probably a dead fandom for a meh movie. That doesn't matter to me, what matters is all that Oscar Isaac ass and the fact that this is genuinely my favorite movie at the moment. That, and when @velvetofyourheart asks for something, I can't really say no.

Tanya, thank you so much for your wonderful idea and always encouraging my aquarius god-complex. This is your fic, you own it. This is your Santi, never let anyone tell you any differently. I love you. Happy very belated birthday.

Now

Fog is still rolling over your front yard when Benny Miller’s familiar jeep swings into your driveway, gravel crunching beneath the tires. 

You sit down your cup of coffee, the many rings lining your fingers clinking against the ceramic, and huff out a breath at his audacity, showing up at your place so early in the day. 

The morning is muggy but cool, condensation beading along the porch railing where your feet are propped up, booted feet crossed at the ankle. 

The jeep’s headlights go out and the driver’s side door pops open. Benny smiles at you when he climbs out, giving you a big, exaggerated wave before he lopes over, all sweetheart golden retriever energy.

Benny is big feelings and big gestures in a body that would never be enough to trap it all inside, that could never cage all that wild energy. 

“Well, fuck,” you say when he climbs the porch stairs. “Look what the cat dragged in.” 

You haven’t seen him in a couple weeks. 

Benny, who you used to see daily. 

But not anymore, not since he came home beat to hell and looking like a lost dog. Not since he told you everything that happened in Colombia.

Not since he told you how Tom died, how everything they did was so fucked. 

Wouldn’ta happened if you were there. You keep our heads on straight. He had told you that day, crying like you were kids again on your back deck in the setting sun. 

Benny laughs and leans against the banister, a brown folder held in one hand. You eye the folder as you flick open the pack of cigarettes in your lap, knocking out a smoke and lighter. “Whatever it is,” you nod at his hand, “The answer is no.” 

“You don’t even know what it is,” Ben says innocently. “And you know they say those things will kill you.” 

“Fuck you, Miller, this is my one indulgence,” you say amicably as you light up, blowing smoke away from him. 

Coffee and a cigarette on your front porch each morning before work, before driving half an hour into town to serve bitchy local teens still half coked out of their minds from the night before and surly truck drivers just passing through town - that was your indulgence, that was all you could allow yourself, all you could afford most days. 

Benny reaches up to pull off his ball cap, runs a hand through his hair and replaces the hat backwards, before he sighs. “We’re going back for that money. We need you there. Can’t do it without you, obviously. First time you aren’t with us and everything goes to hell.” 

You scoff, taking a long drag on your cigarette, holding in the nicotine for a long moment before you exhale through your nose, “You’ve gotta be kidding, Benny.” 

“Not a chance,” Benny says, weirdly serious, “Not with this. Someone else is gonna find it and then what?”

“Suppose it goes to the next drug lord in line,” you raise a brow at him. “Y’all are really going back for that money? That got Tom killed? Didn’t you fuck it up enough already? Leave it lie, it's cursed.” 

Benny winces and straightens, moving to drop heavily onto the wooden porch swing hanging from the ceiling. It creaks beneath him as he leans back and sighs, sounding more exhausted than you’ve ever known him to be. 

“Redfly wouldn’t want that money falling into the wrong hands.” 

“Yeah he’d want it in his hands,” you snap, feeling only slightly guilty about talking ill of the dead. “Or did you forget what happened down there?” 

Benny doesn’t say anything for a moment, cornflower blue eyes staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah, well, he won’t be there this time.” 

“So why go back? Pope’s greed eating at him again? You know you guys don’t have to do everything he says.” When Benny doesn’t say anything, you glance over at him, watch the way he sighs lightly and the circles beneath his eyes seem to deepen in real time. “Hey, I’m sorry, Ben. That was cruel of me.” 

You stub out your near finished cigarette and grab your cup of coffee, crossing the porch to slide down next to him and knock your cup into his leg. “You look like you could use this.” 

He takes the mug from you, drawing a long swig of coffee before he hands it back to you. 

He eyes your hands, taps one finger against yours. “You still wear Santi’s ring.” 

Santi’s ring. 

It wasn’t an engagement ring, no, you’d have to be in a relationship for that to have happened. He’d picked it up at a flea market somewhere, polished it up himself and presented it to you like it meant nothing. 

I know how much you like rings, he had said simply, nodding at the many rings that lined your fingers. 

You never take it off. 

You sigh and lean back, your shoulder brushing Ben’s as you both stare up at the cobwebbed ceiling. “Just because he hates me, doesn’t mean I feel the same way about him.”

He doesn’t comment on that and the silence stretches between you for a long time. 

Ben eventually says your name and you roll your head toward him to meet his eyes. You can tell he’s thinking exactly the same thing you are - that you both look exhausted. You’ve known Benny since forever and reading him is like looking at a jumbotron at a Marlins game - so fucking obvious it was painful sometimes. 

“You really wanna keep doing this forever? Stay in this shithole town and do nothing? Serve the fuck ups at that diner?” Benny pumps you, poking your sore spots. He knows you hate being trapped, hates the stupid town you live in. “Treated like shit? Making no money? No thanks for the sacrifices you made?” 

You roll your eyes, “You sound like Pope. Save it, Ben.” 

“Maybe he’s right about some things. Listen, we paid our dues to Tom’s family. We went through hell and everything is still the fucking same. Maybe we deserve that money.” When you don’t respond immediately, he continues, “Think about it. Hard part is already done. Money’s already stolen, we just gotta go pick it up.” 

“Actually got a plan this time though?” You ask, knocking your knee into Ben’s. “Shit went so sideways last time.” 

He looks away from you, bangs a fist against his thigh and stands, pacing around your porch as you watch, the Florida heat finally starting to creep in for the day. “It’s gotta be easy. In and out.” 

“Aren’t Lorea’s men still in the area? Or whoever’s running the place now? Didn’t half the fucking town see your faces?” 

“Who says we need to go into that town at all?” 

“Ah. So there is no plan.” 

“There is,” he nods at the folder he’d left on the swing next to you. “Santiago’s got something started.” 

Santi. 

An image flashes through your mind, of him standing on this very same porch, the roar of thunder and rain in your ears as a midnight storm passed through, the din of it so loud as Santiago stood there and hollered at you. 

“You really won’t do this with us?” His voice had been harsh, a lingering accusation on his tongue. “When one of us bleeds out and you aren’t there, that’s going to be on you.”

You had recoiled, felt that sting like a slap. “Fuck you, Pope.” And you saw him flinch at the use of that name. You never called him that, you always called him by his true name. “Don’t blame your greed on me. Don’t pretend this is about anything else than that money. Lorea is a sideshow at best to you.” 

“And don’t you fucking pretend like this life is enough for you! Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t do anything to get out of this fucking town!”

His hair had been damp, sticking to his forehead, a muscle jumping in his jaw. “I already did, Santiago. We’ve all been to hell and back already.” You had shaken your head, “And this is my line. I’m not fucking up those communities anymore than they already are.” 

Santi’s face hadn’t changed, but his eyes had burned hotter, scorching into you. You’d touched a nerve and you knew it. “You’re a coward. I’m not even asking you to take fire. Not like before. Something happens to one of us, don’t bother coming to the fucking funeral. You’re leaving us a man down and without med support.”

“So that’s all you want me to do, huh? Come with you and play nurse? Fuck off, I’m the best shot of any of you.” 

“Yeah and shit at everything else. There’s a reason we stuck you out as the sniper. Keeps you away from anything important. But now you’re leaving us without cover.” 

And that, that fucking stung, you’d recoiled from him and said quietly. “Fine. I was useless all those years. My answer is still no.”  

And without another glance at you, he’d walked off your porch and out of your life. 

Only when Benny showed up after Tom was already in the grave did you find out what happened.  

Now, you shake your head and glance at the folder, you can see the edges of a few documents poking out. “Did he send you?” 

“No. No one knows I’m here. Except Will.” Of course, anything Benny knew, Benny had already shared three times over with his older brother. 

“I think you’ve forgotten, Ben. Pope hates me. It’s all my fault shit went sideways for y’all.” You swallow, “According to him anyways. I left you without cover.”  

It’s what you know Santi would say to you, if he’d talk to you again.

“You know he didn’t mean any of that shit. He was just pissed he wasn’t getting his way,” Benny says, still pacing the porch, floorboards creaking with every long stride. “He was just pissed he couldn’t get all of Delta back together. What happened wasn’t your fault.”

But as much as you miss Tom, as much as you had mourned him, you can’t help thinking about how much worse it would have been if it had been Benny or Will. 

Or Santi. 

Fuck, Santiago could have died, and that would have been on you.

A member of your family had died and you hadn’t been there, you hadn’t even been allowed to mourn.  

You roll your eyes now and pick up the folder, sliding the edge of your nail beneath the thick cardstock.

But the pain in your heart lingers as you think about the anger in Santi’s eyes that day. The knowledge now that your absence might have caused a rift in the team, that Tom’s reckless play for more money than any of them could handle and Will’s wounded side slowing them down might be your fault for throwing off team dynamics. 

“I get why you couldn’t do it then. But now? No one has to get hurt now. Someone worse finds that money, then what happens?”

You’d grown up with the Millers, met Santiago when you went with Benny into the army and eventually got recruited to Delta. 

It had been the only way to make it out of your small town, with no money for college and no scholarship opportunities despite your grades, you’d felt it was your only chance. And going with Benny to the recruitment center to follow Will, who’d left a few years before, hadn’t seemed so bad. 

You had stuck by Benny and to your surprise, or maybe to no one’s surprise, both of you were good at it. Good at shooting and killing and clawing bloody tracks into the ground beneath your feet. Good at ruining and destroying, good at being disciplined and regimented and hard. Good at following orders and being better than everyone else. 

You and Benny were to become the babies of Delta Force, the younger pair that always seemed to lag a bit behind the other four more mature and experienced guys. If it weren’t for Will, you might not have been placed in the same unit. But Will had been adamant about recommending both of you, about placing both of you with Delta. 

And the superiors had gotten tired of fighting with him. 

Benny and Will were the brothers you never had, the family you always wanted. 

Santiago and Frankie and Tom only pulled you in tighter, only made you cling on harder, gave you something solid to hang onto. 

Santiago. God, Santiago. 

You wanted him the moment you saw him, with that curling hair that grayed as the years wore on, with those crinkles at the corners of his eyes when he smiled that deepened every year, with the way that he stared at you like you held the secrets of the universe, with a gaze so feverish and consuming it was hard not to be pulled into his orbit, right to the center of his world. 

Santiago pulled a little too hard, loved a little bit too intensely. You’d known the second he showed up at your place that stormy night that whatever he had to say to you was about to break you, that he was about to rip the thread that he had wound around his fingers since the second you met him right out of your heart. 

Something about Santi was so magnetic, so intense, you couldn’t look away, pull away, if you wanted. 

He annoyed you to no end, shielded you from nothing despite your awards and metals for excellency in the field, despite your being on a fucking special ops team, and one of the only women to do so no less. He and Tom had taken one look at your record the day you were reassigned to them, and advocated for your shooting skills, that you worked best at a distance, and had taken you under his wing. 

You wanted to slap him and you loved him and he was so complicated that you wanted to cry just thinking about it. 

Santiago was also lonely, lonely in the same way you were. 

You could be in a room full of people, surrounded by those you loved, and still feel separate, apart, alone. 

Santi was the same - and so you drifted together. 

You were something undefined for years and maybe that was the problem. 

There was a tension neither of you dared address when you were in the service together, not when things were so terribly dangerous at all times, not when feelings could get everyone killed, could have the team that was like a family pulled apart by superiors. 

When your time was up and as your honorable discharge along with the rest of Delta approached, things got more real, too real. Santiago was always there at your periphery, like a wraith you couldn’t ignore.

He was the nucleus of your world, the center of your universe, and you wanted to hate him for it. 

“You and Miller gonna shack up after all this, hermosa?” He’d asked one of those last few nights together, at a base canteen. 

You’d looked up from the beer you were nursing. “Which one?” You tried to joke, but it didn’t land, and the tension between you thickened until you felt you might choke on it. 

You had never wanted to kiss someone so bad, Santi tilting his head toward yours until he was all you could see, everything else blotted out, until the smell of his aftershave threatened to drown you or resurrect you. 

“C’mon Blue. Ben seems keen on it,” he notes.  

“Benny’s got more than he can handle as it is.” 

You don’t know why you hadn’t just denied it, you knew there was something between you and Santiago, that he bred feelings in you that you didn’t know what to do with. But it felt too close to the truth, like something too close to your heart. So you didn’t correct yourself, and gave a hollow laugh, like it was all a joke. 

It was only when you got home and things got restless and bad that it happened. Will attacked some guy in a grocery store, you had to bail Benny out of jail for bar fights twice. Frankie and Tom disappeared into their families. 

And Santi…when you called, he came. 

He came and he held you while you cried and wondered where everything had gone wrong. You’d escaped the town, gone farther and faster than you ever thought you would, and yet here you were back again, with a broken heart and a broken soul, and friends and brothers you couldn’t help, a listlessness settling between your bones that you didn’t know how to name. 

You were still so young, and had seen and done so much, and had nothing to show for it. You had seen and done things you could never come back from. 

And then, you were back in the same town, with the same people, and no prospects. 

You’d had half a mind to join Benny in his bar fights, just to feel something, just to make the ache inside your bones go away. But then Will would have had to bail you both out and neither of you wanted that. 

The loss of your routine, your regimented military life, sent you and the Millers spiraling for a while.

But you and Benny tended to follow Will, and when he pulled his head out of his ass, so did the two of you - group counseling, hobbies, jobs, - things that gave you meaning and routine, that kept you from spiraling into the worst kind of crisis. 

Compartmentalizing became key. 

But you never really figured out how to compartmentalize Santi, never knew where to slot him in your mind. 

He’d been there for you, the violence and reintegration into civilian life hadn’t seemed to phase him, and maybe that was because he’d never returned to it - working with independent contractors and security services abroad, right back into the fray. 

He came and went, but he always came back to you. 

When you called, he came. 

He had come with groceries or take out, stayed with you for a weekend. He’d refuse to let you back away from the violent feelings inside you, fucking them right out of you sometimes, letting you use him or him use you, depending on the mood. 

You were something close to a relationship, but not quite. 

Things got better with Santi around, with doing group therapy at the VA, your job at the diner, and taking up boxing as a hobby. Poker nights started up, bar nights, going to Benny’s fights together when he started MMA.

And when Santi was in town - even better. 

You watch Benny pace around your porch now, and flip open the file. “I’ll take a look, Benny,” you say gently. “You’re gonna wear a hole through my floor.” 

You couldn’t lose all of that, you can’t let your family do something so stupid without you again. 

“Think about it, sweetheart,” he says, suddenly dropping next to you on the swing again, causing it to jolt and rattle your teeth. “You could do something so good with that money. Someone else finds it first, it's just gonna have more blood spilled on it.” 

You laugh, “Fuck you, Benny.” 

“And be set for fuckin’ life,” he says. “C’mon, what’s not to like?” 

“Pope won’t like it.” 

“Fuck Pope. He’ll get over it. We all miss you.”

You miss them too, and you can’t let them go alone again.  

Then

The third time you break down after you’re stateside, you call Santi, because he’s your life line, your hook into reality, your tether to the Earth.

Santi always comes when you call, he always knows exactly what you need. 

The first two times you called, he came with takeout, with a movie, and sat with you on your couch for two days straight because you had so much fear built up inside you, you couldn’t move. 

Going into the military wasn’t the hard part, you found, it was coming home. 

The third time, he finds you in the bedroom of the apartment you rented as soon as you were back in town. 

“Hey,” he crouches down across from your place on the floor, curled between your nightstand and the edge of the bed. “You okay?” 

“I don’t think I can do this, Santi,” you mutter, feeling like your lungs are collapsing, like you can’t breathe. “Fuck, I don’t think I can. Everything - God, it's so loud, but it's too quiet. Everyone is just going around like everything is fucking normal - like - like - ”

Like you hadn’t killed and bled and fought and cursed and -

Santi nods, “I remember my first time on leave was like that. Just sat in my fucking bedroom for two weeks straight because I didn’t know how to be anymore.” 

Your frantic eyes seek his out, his intense gaze that was heavy enough to feel like a weighted blanket against you, soothing the ache inside you a little, before he holds his arms out to you. 

You crawl across the carpet to fit yourself into his lap when he falls to his ass with a groan. You breathe hard and fast, his scent like catnip to you, fingers tangling hard into his shirt. 

“Thought you were gonna hole up with Ben.” 

“Fuck you, Santiago. You know Ben is like my brother,” you grit out, pulling so hard on his shirt that you think it might rip in your fingers. You tuck your head under his chin, feel the slow slide of his touch up your side, listen to the steady beat of his heart. 

His touch is warm, it grounds you, makes you feel so very safe. 

His comment about Benny reminds you of something, of something you should have told him that night weeks ago at the canteen. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t say it now, but Santi I -,” 

Before you can continue, he presses a finger under your chin, to tip your head up. He doesn’t do anything, doesn’t say anything, just stares at you - just pins you down with that unwavering stare, brown eyes like chips of amber. 

“I know,” he says simply, so gentle and cocksure as the corner of his mouth quirks up. “I know, hermosa. Me too.” 

You suck in a breath but whatever you’re about to say, dies on your lips. Santiago presses a hand to the back of your neck, holds you firm and doesn’t let you look away, his eyes flicking down your face. “Tell me you want me, baby. I’ll give it to you. Help you shut out the world.” 

You’re so drunk on his gaze, at the way he holds you hard and soft and tight and fucking perfect - that you don’t hesitate when you say, “Please, Santi, I want you.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, but he hears you. 

One strong hand cups beneath your chin, fingers tight against your skin as Santiago kisses you for the first time. 

It’s not a gentle kiss. 

It’s like breathing in smoke, like choking down hot coal, but you revel in the pain, you take pleasure in the way he fights to consume you, in the way his strong jaw juts forward in a harsh pass of his lips against yours. 

He’s rough with you, that first time, because he knows it's what you need, that you can handle it, that you’ve had worse.

But you’ve never had better, will never have better again. 

Santiago kisses you like a man possessed, he bites you, he tears his fingers into your flesh, down into the marrow of your bones. He pushes you down into the carpet and doesn’t waste time with helping you out of your clothes. 

He shoves his hand down the front of your cotton shorts without preamble, his fingers expert in seeking out your wet heat. His mouth stays on yours as you tug at his hair, pull and pull until he hisses and shoves a finger inside you. 

You forget about the world, about how you don’t recognize your town and recognize it all too well - how the ordered madness you were used to sustaining you was gone. 

The pain you feel is subsumed by Santiago’s heavy presence, the way he pulls back from you but hardly lets you breathe - his fingers in your mouth, the taste of yourself in your mouth, his hand insistent on the back of your neck. 

You claw at his back, raking your nails over him as he licks into your mouth, holding your head still with a hand on your neck, beneath your jaw. He pinches your nipple through your shirt so hard it stings but all you can do is arch up into him. 

Santi pulls back from you, a whine you can’t control rattling out of your throat. 

“Fuuuck,” he groans into your skin, “Fuck. Fuck.” 

He pulls back and yanks on your shorts, “Off.” 

You scramble to remove your hands from him, to push your shorts down your legs until they get caught up on your ankles. 

Santi doesn’t bother with undressing, just yanks down the zipper of his jeans until he can free himself. He sits back with a groan, knees protesting, so he can yank your shorts off your ankles before he slots himself back over you, his dick slipping against you. 

The heat of him clears your mind, the anxiety and the thoughts you couldn’t stop from consuming you before, washing away until your mind is pleasantly empty, a blank white space that only Santiago can fill. 

The town doesn’t exist, the past doesn’t exist, none of the things you’d done exists, you are purified, you are only the tips of your toes and the edges of your fingers, one long nerve ending. 

His mouth is back on yours and you curl your hands back into his hair again, groaning into his mouth when he roughly yanks up the hem of your shirt to your armpits, large calloused hand palming your tits roughly, his mouth skating down your throat to your chest, until he can pull one stiff nipple between his teeth and tug. 

You can only moan, fisting your hand into his hair to jerk his lips back to yours. 

“Santi,” you murmur against his mouth. “Santi.”

“That’s it, hermosa. Say my name,” he breathes into your skin as he notches his cock at your entrance. “Say my name,” he demands when you don’t immediately answer. 

“Santiago,” you whimper, pathetically needy, the air punched out of your lungs when his hips snap forward. He’s fully seated within you in one hard push, your thighs burning, the stretch of him so painful you cry out. “Don’t,” you hold onto his arms, force him to stay where he is when he starts to pull back. “Fuck, don’t, feels so good.” 

Santiago doesn’t need anymore encouragement, hips drawing back just far enough to slam into you again, pushing you up the carpet. 

He sets a brutal pace, your cunt stretching to accommodate him, the burn easing and the pleasure settling in. 

Santiago whispers to you in Spanish and even though you speak the language well enough, you can’t make yourself understand what he’s saying. 

The heat builds inside you until you feel like you might scream, until you feel like your body might give out on you. 

But Santi always knows what you need, always knows you. 

And so he slows the pace of his hips, dips his mouth to your neck and presses a finger through your folds, tracing circles around your clit until you come with an earth shattering force. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he’s muttering against the sweat slick skin of your throat, the only thing real in the whole world to you in that moment him. “Look at you, fucking soaked my cock, baby. So perfect.” And then he’s whispering in Spanish again, something about so fucking perfect, all mine. You’re fucking mine.  

You don’t let Santiago pull away from you, the hot weight of him against you drowning out every horrifying thought in your head. You feel him seeping out of you, feel the grip of his fingers against the fleshy part of your hip, tangled in the hair at the nape of your neck. 

He doesn’t move, doesn't try to, and stays buried inside you. Santiago whispers sweet as sugar words right into your hairline until he’s hard again, and then he fucks you so softly - you’re sure its what love should feel like. 

~

And so, for a while after you come home, that’s all your life is, fighting and fucking and hating the world for chewing you up and spitting you out, and not being strong enough to fucking take it. 

~

The fucking is by far the best part. 

You feel best when Santiago is with you, when his cock is buried so deep inside you it’s the only thing you can think about - when you’re cockdumb and sex drunk. 

That’s when things feel normal again. 

That’s when your brain finally shuts the fuck up. 

But then Will pulls it together, starts getting real help, and inevitably you and Benny follow suit. 

It doesn’t stop you and Santi from fucking like rabbits, but it makes it softer, it lets you round out the edges of your heart against his. 

The thing between you stays undefined, but it comes somewhere close to ownership. Santi is yours and you are his, though it’s never said out loud.

He dances with you around your kitchen, spars with you in your backyard when you put a down payment on your house, cooks you breakfast, and asks for input on his consulting jobs. 

Santi tries to get you to come with him, back to those places you’d left behind, back to the fight, back to the guns and blood and drugs. 

But you can’t do it, at least not yet.

For a moment in time, you are content, content with that small town, your little job. 

Will starts giving speeches to recruits, Benny starts MMA, Frankie gets married, Tom spends more time with his daughter. 

You and Santiago - your worlds revolve around each other, when he’s in town and when he isn’t, how quickly he can drive from the airport to your house, how he catches you in the front yard in his arms and spins you around. 

Sometimes, you don’t even make it inside. 

You have no neighbors for several miles, and the front porch steps were a good a place as any to fuck. 

Unfortunately that’s the same day that Will decides to swing by with your new boxing gloves you’d asked him to get you. Will gets a full view of Santi’s ass, but he never pulls out, never stops fucking you. 

“He’s seen worse,” he laughs into your ear, nipping at your skin as heat pools embarrassment around your bones, the man who was like your brother doing a one-eighty to hightail it back down the road. “Don’t worry about him, cariño.” 

It’s then as he laughs and kisses you, kisses away the annoyed groan, that you realize that you love him, really love him. 

And that you’d probably never love anyone else. 

Now

“Hey, there she is!” You hear Will announce as soon as you slam the door of your truck shut, parked against the curb outside Santi’s place. 

“Hey Blue,” Frankie calls when you approach the group sitting around a picnic table, a canopy of emerald green shielding them from the sun and prying eyes. A cooler of beer popped open, burgers on the grill. 

You smile and accept the hug Frankie offers you, moving quickly to Will and then Benny, despite seeing the Millers often enough, now that you and Ben were back to seeing each other daily. 

Santi can’t even be bothered enough to turn from the grill. He says nothing and a fissure of pain cracks open your chest, your heart bleeding all over again, just like that.

“How’re you Frankie? How’s the baby?” You slide into the open space next to him on the bench, accepting the beer he reaches down into the cooler at his side to hand you. 

Will automatically starts constructing a burger for you, disregarding the onions and adding extra pickles and an extra slice of cheese, without you having to ask. 

It makes your heart hurt to be with them. These were the people you’d been through so much with, who knew so many little things about you. 

No onions, extra pickles, extra cheese.

You feel the absence of Tom suddenly, like a hole in the middle of your little family. 

Santi’s disregard does nothing to help the feeling. 

“Good,” Frankie says. “They’re okay.” 

“That’s great-,”

“So,” Benny interrupts, ever tackless, “We gonna talk about this thing or not?” 

“Jesus, Ben,” Will says. “Let her settle in.” 

Benny raises his brows and looks at you, “You settled?” 

“I’m good,” you nod, “Always.” 

“There ya go, girl’s all settled up. Let’s talk.” 

Santiago joins you at the table then, plate of freshly grilled burgers deposited in the center of the table. 

Will passes you the burger he’d assembled for you. 

Silence descends, awkward and piercing for a long moment as you look around at them. Pope holds your gaze when you meet his eyes, and for the first time in years, you can’t read the look in them. 

You glance away, back at Frankie who you haven’t seen since forever and Will who you infrequently saw these days. “I missed y’all,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself. 

The heckling that immediately follows breaks the ice surrounding the group of you, Frankie cooing sarcastically at you as Will laughs and Benny breaks open a bag of chips that you know he won’t share with anyone else. 

“Fuck you guys,” you say without venom. 

“We missed you too, kid,” Will says, Frankie throwing an arm around your shoulders. 

“Yeah, sister,” Frankie intones, “When are you finally gonna come meet my kid?” 

You take a sip of your beer, “As soon as you invite me, Fish.” 

“So you take invitations now?” Santiago’s voice cuts through the chatter, his eyes are still glued to your face when you look back at him, the coolness in his voice matching the ice in his eyes. 

Something in your chest crumbles and you can’t make yourself keep his gaze this time. 

You glance away. 

“Pope,” Will warns, a threat lurking in his voice. “You wanna start us off?” 

Santiago finally looks away from you, his jaw clenching, before he rattles off the strategy he’d devised - a one day plot to get the money.  

You sit and listen without looking at him, thinking of all the ways this plan can go sideways. Again.

Thinking of all the ways you could lose another one of your boys, how the group might not survive losing another member. 

You hear the others take up threads, concerns - namely how you would get the money out of the ravine, how it could be transported without notice to the beach. They would hire the same boat as the last time, to transport the money off the coast and out of the country, to the same bank setting up the off-shore shell accounts. 

“Can you approach the ravine from any other way than through that town?” You ask. 

“Not unless we’re goin’ over the fuckin’ Andes again,” Benny answers you. “And I’m out if that’s the plan.” 

“No,” Santi confirms, “Through the town is the only way.”

You consider quietly, biting into your burger as Will details the town’s layout, where you could expect areas that would probably cause issues for you. 

“And weapons?” You inquire. “We need to be armed.” 

“There’s a shipping freight -,” Santi offers.

“Oh, fuck, you’re not seriously considering arms trafficking on top of everything else, are you? That’s so fucking tracable.” 

“You got a problem you can fucking go,” Santi bites back at you. “We don’t have the benefit of time to go scrambling for arms sourced in-country.” 

You bite the inside of your cheek and consider for a moment wondering if you should offer or if Pope would just bite your head off again. “No,” you say quietly. “I think I might be able to help there. Contact that might be able to make a drop for us. Something locally sourced.” 

Will is nodding, smiles at you, “So no arms trafficking. That’s something.” 

Santi reluctantly nods, shoulders loosening. 

You might be at odds at the moment, but he does trust you with things like this, knows you would never suggest something that might put the team at a real risk. “I’ll reach out and let you know when it's confirmed.” 

Pope saws a hand over his chin and nods, and you recognize that gleam in his eyes, that intensity that said he was starting to believe in this plan, he was starting to see the fruits of this labor. 

It's akin to the way he used to look at you, when he would make promises to you that he eventually broke. 

The rest of the conversation passes you by, rappelling gear and fuel and rations and passports and how to move the money once it was out of the ravine - but you can’t stop looking at Santi. 

He’s always been beautiful, since you first met him all those years ago, when you and Benny had just passed the ASVAB and were then recommended to join Delta by Will. 

Anything to keep the siblings together. 

He’d been beautiful then with wild dark curls and brown skin darkened by sun exposure, solid and sure and steady.

But now, with the pepper of gray in his hair and the darkness in his eyes, the kindness that he showed every stranger, the slightly startled way he always laughed, his creaky knees - well, he’d only gotten more beautiful. 

Age suited him well. 

The conversation closes - with you assigned to the arms issue and Will sorting out local transport, if the money was even possible to retrieve. 

Benny pokes you in the side as he helps Frankie ball up the used paper plates and gather empty beer bottles, and tilts his head toward where Santi stands fiddling with the grill. 

You roll your eyes and shove him back but take the hint and stand. 

Santi doesn’t turn when you stop next to him, watching as he meticulously cleans the grill. 

“We gonna hate each other forever?” You ask, stepping close to him, his shoulders going stiff beneath his t-shirt. 

“I don’t hate you,” he mutters, glancing up but not quite meeting your eyes as he drops the scrub brush in his hand, folding his arms over his chest. 

“No? Sure seems like it,” you muse. “Didn’t even invite me to Redfly’s funeral.” 

Santi says your name, a sigh that makes your stomach curdle. “We didn’t want you implicated. Everything had went so fuckin’ bad and you knew way more than I should have told you.” 

You nod, like it makes you feel any better. “Yeah, I get it.” You almost don’t ask, but you can’t help the question that slips out, “And after that? Why didn’t you come home after that?”

Santiago finally looks at you, his intense gaze locking onto yours and you freeze, pinned down by that heaviness, that stare that is so soft and piercing. The ice in his eyes has curiously melted down into a warm brown, his brows tugging together. “I’d done enough damage.” 

And he leaves it at that. 

~

Santiago always comes when you call, and you call him for the first time since he left your porch that last night before things went to hell. 

Benny’s already at your place, parked on the couch in front of the TV with a beer in his hand and a bag of cheetos spilling onto the worn fabric. 

“Hey Benny boy,” you hear Santiago say when he comes in the back door. “Our girl around?” 

Our girl - something all the guys used to teasingly say, something that had annoyed you to no end because you just wanted to be, be a part of the team and the family. It was only after a year being with Delta that you’d realized that was exactly what it meant. That you belonged. 

“Blue’s in the kitchen,” you hear Benny say through a mouthful of what you’re sure is toxic orange cheeto dust drifting down onto your couch. 

Santi laughs and his footsteps sound on the linoleum, tracking closer to you. “Hey,” he says. “Benny’s fucking up your couch.” 

“Yeah nothing new there,” you say, turning from the counter where you’ve just finished rolling out premade pizza dough onto a tray. “It’s a Friday tradition at this point. Beer and fucking up the couch with crumbs.” 

Santi stands in the doorway, gazing around with a stricken expression for a moment, and you wonder if it's jarring for him - to be back in this house with you, after spending so much time in it and then leaving it abruptly behind. 

You’d quit each other cold turkey, and the separation had not been easy for you. Especially not when traces of Pope lived all through the house, not when he’d fucked you in every room, made you laugh in every room, carried you from the couch to bed, cooked meals together, danced together.

But when Santi meets your eyes, his gaze goes intense, assessing, like he’ll never know everything about you. But sometimes, like now, that ferociousness also feels like it's concealing something, hiding something. 

“You had an update?” He prompts, leaning against the door jam with his arms crossed, ball cap shading his eyes as he scuffs a booted toe against the floor. 

“Yeah, thought I probably shouldn’t be sharing over the phone,” you wipe your hands on a dishtowel and try not to feel his gaze lingering on you from beneath the bill of his hat. You turn to the fridge and dig out the pizza sauce you’d made earlier in the week with the tomatoes that Santi had once planted in your backyard, various cheeses, and the toppings Benny had brought over. 

He had a bizarre palate that you didn’t try to understand - so one side would be Benny and the other just cheese. 

“My contact got back to me. He can make the drop. But only to me,” you hip check the silverware drawer closed after grabbing a spoon and turn back to the pizza, spooning sauce onto the dough. 

“I’m thinking this,” you continue, “I go into the town alone, do the weapons pick-up, get the transport Will is arranging, meet y’all down the coast and we go around and up into the mountains. I know it's a way longer route but it's probably worth it for you guys not to go through the town. In the meantime, you guys just have to sit tight in that cove's cave.” You nod at a folded map at the end of the counter. “If we can get enough fuel arranged, there’s a way around that I mapped out. Roads shouldn’t be too much trouble this time of year.” 

He doesn’t move to pick up the map.

You finish with the sauce and start sprinkling cheese, feeling Santi lurch away from the doorway and approach you slowly, until he’s beside you and every muscle in your body is tense and hot. “Fuck, you’re serious, aren’t you?” 

“It’s a good plan,” you say, tearing some fresh mozzarella. “Keeps you boys outta the town. Gets us weapons that were sourced in-country, fuel, and a ride.” 

“And puts you right in the firing line. You’d haveta land and be without weapons until the drop. What if your contact doesn’t show?” 

“I’ll be fine. I’m the only face that won’t be recognized.”

Santi rolls his eyes, “They’ll know you’re a foreigner and that might be enough.” 

“I’ll be careful.” 

You can feel Santiago’s irritation building. “Why are you so gung-ho to do this now? You’ve always been shit at infiltration. There’s a reason you’re the sniper.” 

Since one of you died! You want to shout. 

“Fuck off, Pope,” you say instead as he takes his hat off and tosses it down, leaning his forearms onto the counter next to you before ducking his head and running his hands through his hair. “You know why I didn’t want to do it the first time around. And now -,” 

And now you were terrified that if you didn’t go, another member of your family would come home in a bodybag. 

And you wouldn’t even get to go to the funeral. 

And this time it could be Santi or Benny or - 

You clench your eyes shut, the heat of Santiago next to you too much suddenly. You suck in a sharp breath and try to get the panic bubbling up under control. 

“Hey -,” 

His voice is too soft, too close. 

“Whatever,” you cut him off. “What-fucking-ever, Pope. I’m shit. I was never valuable to Delta. I get it, okay? But this is your best shot. Unless you wanna go coordinate shipping arms into some backwater town through cartel territory.” 

Santiago stares at you, his gaze wide and shocked, so unlike the hard stare he usually sported. His mouth softens a fraction but you turn away, adding the gross shit Benny wanted onto his side of the pizza. 

“Yes or no?” you ask. “This is it. This is how we do it.” 

“One of us stays with you. We split two-three.” You open your mouth to retort when he continues, his voice strangely quiet. “I understand you have to go to the drop by yourself, everything else doesn’t haveta be. You need someone watching your six.” 

You heave a sigh, picking up the pan with the finished pizza to stick in the oven. “Jesus, what the hell does that kid eat?” Santi asks, noting the toppings. 

“Shit,” you answer, snapping the oven door closed. “Who?” 

“Frankie. He can make up for your shit Spanish.”  

You quickly catalog another thing you’re deficient in, swallowing thickly.

“Fine.” 

Santi nods and keeps staring at you, staring at you standing in the middle of your kitchen with your arms crossed. 

And you feel the sudden urge to cry, to break down and scream. 

Your breath is heavy in your chest, and the weight of Santi’s eyes on you doesn’t help. 

“We should talk about it,” he says.

You shake your head, grab a beer from the fridge and walk out of the kitchen, down the hall and past the living room where Benny was invested in a baseball game, and out onto your back deck. 

Santiago follows you, snapping the screen door closed after him. “C’mon.” 

“No. You left it the way it is. We don’t need to talk about it,” you knock the bottle cap off the beer with one well placed smack against the edge of the deck railing. 

But you can’t find it in yourself to drink it and so you set it aside.  

Santi’s jaw clenches and he runs an agitated hand through his hair, pacing a line back and forth before he stops and cups a hand over his chin. “Don’t be stubborn about this, Blue.” 

“Fuck off, Pope.” 

He rolls his eyes and approaches you, stepping right into your space, crowding you against the banister, bracketing his arms around you, palms against the railing behind you. He tilts his head over yours, his nose nearly touching yours. “I missed you. I wanted to come back. I didn’t know how.” 

You scoff. “It was easy. You could have walked through the door.” You grit your teeth, “Would you have even told me Tom died? Or would I have seen it on fucking Facebook from his widow months later?”

Santi flinches at your accusation but doesn’t back down, his eyes still boring into your, his voice quiet. “Yes. You’re our family. You know one of us would have, if Ben hadn’t.” 

“Right,” you say disbelievingly. “It hurt the most that I didn’t hear from you. Did I ever really mean anything to you? Or was I just a liability to the team? Another whore to get you through the night?” 

“What?” 

“Don’t fuck with me, Santiago. You never came home. And I know you were fucking people when you were out of town. I always knew.” 

His eyes are so dark they read black in the fading evening sunshine. “Is that what you think? That I was sitting around here playing house with you for fun?” 

Your belly lurches. “Get away from me,” you snap, shoving at his shoulder. “I don’t need you to call me stupid in my own house. I got it, Santi. I wasn’t good enough for the team and I wasn’t good enough for you. I get it.” 

He makes a noise of frustration and doesn’t move. “Stop being so fucking hardheaded.” 

“Okay,” you sniff. “Go ahead then. What do you want to say? About that night, about why you never came home? About what you said to me?” 

Santi gapes at you, clearly not expecting you to just give into him, “I - I -,” he flounders. 

“Yeah,” you duck under his arm, snatch up your beer, and head back inside, “That’s what I thought.” 

~

“You never went out there to see her? Fuuuck man, no wonder she’s pissed,” Benny says, offloading their tac bags into the sand of the cove from the dinghy, the walls of the cave-like outcropping reflecting in the shallow water. 

Will moves the bags further up the sand and doesn’t say anything. 

And Santiago - he doesn’t know what to fucking say about any of it. 

Going back to that house, back to you, after everything he’d said to you, after he’d implied that any injuries they got would be your fault, after he told you that you were a weight to their team even though it was the farthest thing from the truth. 

He didn’t know how to go back to you. 

He didn’t know how to make things right, and so one month had turned into two had turned into six. 

“She never said anything?” Santi asks Benny, almost afraid of what the answer might be. 

“Not like we sit around talking about you, man. I wasn’t out there all that much for a while. Going through my own shit,” Benny says, jumping out of the boat to work on tying it down. 

Santi thinks about Benny going out to your place, dumping all his shit on you and leaving. Of Will and Frankie visiting infrequently, because they were, as Benny so eloquently put it - going through their own shit in the aftermath of that mission. 

All of them wrongly assuming that Santi had been to see you, that he was still seeing you. 

All of them thinking that you were okay because Santi was always with you. 

Fuck. 

Fuck.

No wonder you felt abandoned. No wonder you believed him when he’d said - 

He can’t think about that right now. 

You must have felt like you lost all of them for a while. 

“Check-in with Fish and Blue,” he snarls at Benny instead. “I want an update. They landed yesterday and should already be on their way here.” 

Benny glances at Will but neither of them say anything as he fiddles with the comms. 

Santiago makes a point of not looking at either of them, pointlessly cataloging the shit they did bring with them, mainly rappelling equipment, rations, and protective gear.

The comm in his ear statics and then Benny’s voice is reaching out for a status report. 

Your voice comes back after only a few minutes. “Hey Ben,” you say, your voice clear but with a rift in it, a thick line of tension. “Heading your way. Should be there around 1900 hours. Sit tight.”

“Roger. Sitting tight.” 

Santiago opens his own line. “Report,” he barks out, not satisfied with the way you sound, that slight crack in the edge of your voice. 

“Cargo en route, Pope,” is the only response he receives. 

“Roger, Blue,” he says. “Any trouble?” 

There’s a long silence before you respond. “Minor incident. Intercepted in vehicle retrieval. One dead. No witnesses. Minimal injuries.” 

“Injury report.” 

“Fuck, Pope,” Will mutters, “They’ll be here in a couple hours. Leave it.” 

“Fish is fine,” you say and Santiago’s heart seizes because that means - “I was grazed. Minimal impact. Over and out, see you soon Delta one.” 

Your line clicks out, the static retreating. 

“Fuck,” he whispers. “Fuck.” 

“C’mon, Pope,” Will says, “Quit thinking with your dick. We’ve all been shot. She was only grazed. They’re fine and heading to us.” He sits back on the sand, Benny following suit. 

He knows. 

Fuck, he knows. 

He tucks the information away - compartmentalizes it and hopes like hell it works. 

~

You and Fish show up exactly when you say you will, radioing out to them when you were a couple klicks away. 

Santiago and Will head up to help you hide the truck you arrive in, grab the duffle bags full of weapons.

The cache you’ve been provided with is well stocked and Will whistles when he sees it. “Fuck, Blue, you’ve got one hell of a contact.” 

You smile tightly at him, limping around the front of the truck. 

Santiago’s breath catches when he sees you. 

It’s hell to see you looking like that again. Although you’re in jeans - the rest of the getup is similar enough to the fatigues you used to sport that it makes his chest tighten. Your hair is tucked back, a backward ball cap on your head, and he recognizes it as one of his, one he must have left at your place. Sunglasses are hitched up above your brow. 

You have a strip of cloth tied around your upper thigh, and Frankie has one concerned hand under your elbow. 

Santiago never wanted to see you like this again, never wanted to have to think about you being shot at again. 

You ignore his stare and say to Frankie, “C’mere and help me calculate this fuel shit. We need to be sure it's more than enough to get us there and back with room for detours.” 

Frankie opens the back door and lets you rummage around in another bag before turning back with a scrap of paper and pen. 

When Santi just stands there staring at you, you turn and tilt your head. “Gonna help Ironhead with that shit, Pope?” 

He flinches, can’t help himself when he hears you call him that, it takes him back to your porch, to the words he can never take back. 

Santiago doesn’t say anything, catches Frankie roll his eyes as Santi turns and grabs a couple bags to drag down to the cove. 

A few minutes later you and Fish make your way to the cave. “-wish we had a bit more but that should do.”

“It’ll be fine,” Fish assures you, sounding a lot less concerned than you.  

“Uh huh,” you say, dropping next to Benny on the sand to take the canteen he offers you. 

Will turns to look at you, his eyes flicking over the bandage on your leg. “What happened?” 

“Exactly what I said. Some guy caught us grabbing the truck. He shot first, Fish took ‘im out.” 

All cold practicality, Will answers, “Clean it properly.” 

Fish laughs and raises a brow at you and Santi knows he had already told you to do it. 

You roll your eyes and glance at Benny with an exasperated huff of breath. 

Before, when you served together, Santiago would have read that look all wrong, would have seen something more than what it was. Now, he sees it for what it is - two younger siblings exasperated by their older brother. 

You and Ben have been attached at the hip since the third grade, and have done nearly everything in your life together. You were best friends and nothing more than that. In fact the idea probably repulsed both of you. 

He wonders what it was like for you then, when Benny suddenly wasn’t around anymore after the failed Colombia mission. 

Santi hooks one of the hand guns into the holster on his hip, grabs a first aid kit, and crosses to you. “I got it.” 

He holds out a hand and you hesitate for only a moment before taking his hand and letting him haul you up. He leads you a little way from the group while they continue sorting the weapons out, nodding for you to lean back into the edge of the beached boat. 

“Shit,” Santiago mutters when he crouches down and peels the makeshift bandage off of your thigh. “This is more than a graze, you got ate, mi vida.” 

“Only a little. No bullet in me.” 

He shakes his head and briskly cleans the wound, dresses it with a proper bandage and a wrapping of gauze around your thigh. He slides his knuckles down to your knee and glances up at you. “Fuck, Blue, please. Be careful.” 

“You think I got shot on purpose?” You ask, amused rather than pissed for once, as he stands. 

He licks his lips and plants his hands on his hips, not able to keep his eyes off you. 

Fuck were you pretty. 

Even in fatigues and sweating from the humidity, you were so fucking beautiful.

And then he notices the rings on your fingers, notices the ring that he gave you years ago now, and his mouth goes dry, his heart pumps like it’s trying to break the cage of his ribs.  

“‘Course not. Just saying. Be careful.” 

“Okay,” you agree. “When should we head out? Frankie -,” you call and the other man glances over at the two of you. “We thought 0400 hours, right?” 

“Right,” he confirms quietly, “Early enough that we’ve got a bit of light but it's still dark,” he agrees. 

“There ya go, Pope,” you say. 

He doesn’t look away from you, can’t quite manage it. “You’ve got my hat.” 

“My hat now,” you snip. “Left it in my house.” 

“You ever gonna forgive me?” He doesn’t know why he asks, it's not like he deserves it. 

“Dunno, Santi,” you say. “You ever gonna apologize?” 

He clenches his jaw and walks away from you, announcing, “We’re out at 0400 hours. Sharp.” 

~

The sun is only really starting to blaze alive when you park the truck at the edge of a canyon. “We gotta walk from here, y’all,” you say, slapping the map down between Will and Santiago in the front seat. 

“Hooah,” Benny intones, popping open his door so you can slide out behind him. 

When the truck is hidden in the foliage and you’re all geared up, you say, “So, I was thinking, I can split with you guys here, follow the ridgeline up so I can see farther-,”

“We aren’t splitting up again,” Santi says, lowering protective glasses over his eyes. “You’ll be able to see plenty in either direction from the ravine.” 

“Are you sure-,”

“Yes,” he grits his teeth. “We’re wasting time, let's go.” 

So you wrap the strap of your rifle around your neck and go. 

You don’t talk as you move through the canyon and through the mountainside, up the steep rocky crags, Santiago at the head with a GPS and the coordinates. 

Finding the correct ravine is surprisingly easy, and you peer over the side to see a mountain of snow at the bottom. “Looks like you guys will be digging.” 

“Wonderful,” Frankie says. “You wanna trade? I’ll man the horizon.” 

You smirk, “Nah, I’m good here.” You screw a silencer onto the end of your rifle and walk away, scouting for a position where you could easily see in all directions to cover them while they worked. 

“Not too far,” Pope says into the comms and you don’t bother to turn, waving a hand above your head to show you heard. 

You settle down, between two rocks, adjusting the scope on your rifle to make sure you have a clear view. 

“Blue, check-in,” Frankie’s voice comes over the comm. “Pope can’t see you and has his panties in a twist.” 

You chuckle and respond, “That’s the idea. Present and accounted for. How’s it going, boys?” 

“Benny and Santi rappelling down now.” 

You don’t respond, focusing instead on your task, wondering how long it would take them to get all of it out of the ravine, if they would have to dig it out of the snow, if it was even still there, how long it would take to haul out to the truck. 

Two hours pass in which the horizon in all directions is clear, and which the boys stay silent in your ear. 

And then - “Fuck yeah! Money’s still here baby!” Benny nearly deafens you and the others. A long string of curses and hyena-like laughter follows. 

“Shut the fuck up, Ben! Jesus,” Will mutters. “Just get it the fuck up here.” 

“Keep your head on straight,” you say into your comm. “We’re not taking more than we can handle, got it?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Santi says. “Of course.”

“I’m serious. I will leave you here, Pope.” 

“I’ll leave him here,” Frankie adds.

The rest of the day passes by slowly, and without incident. Occasional comments come through but nothing that warranted a response until near sundown, “Come on back, Blue,” Will says. 

“Done already?” 

“For tonight.” 

When you approach the camp, duffle bags are strewn around. 

Many more than you expected.

“Jesus, you sure this isn’t all of it?” You assess the amount of bags. “Think we might have to be okay with this.” You shoulder your M16, “We should start moving it to the truck now.”

The guys glance at each other. “C’mon,” you whine, annoyed with them. “Y’all really gonna let money go to your head again?” 

“You don’t want any?” 

“Any is more than none, which is what I have now,” you say. “And no, Ben, I don’t need a Ferrari.” 

They all glance at each other, then, “One more run tonight and then we’re done. We’ll move the cash in the morning, and be on the boat by the afternoon.” 

You roll your eyes, “Fine, whatever.” 

Benny hoots and goes about getting strapped into the harness again, Will following suit. 

“That was kind of you,” Frankie says, coming to stand next to you with arms folded across his chest. “We coulda used your level head last time.” 

You feel your heart sink, surprised Fish would say anything about it to you. “Yeah,” you say softly, watching Santi help Ben and Will start down the cliffside. “I know it's my fault that it went down the way it did. I’m sorry.” 

Fish is silent for a few minutes as you watch the boys, before he suddenly turns to you, “Wait, what? Your fault?” 

You press your lips together, Will and Benny finally disappearing as the last light faded from the sky. “Threw off the team. Wasn’t here to-,” 

“Hold on. We’re grown fucking men and you had the choice to say no. No one’s holdin’ that against you.” 

You don’t answer, watching Santi, the broad line of his shoulders, the firm set of him as he keeps an eye on the ropes. 

“Not everyone thinks that.” 

“What, Pope?” When you don’t answer he continues, shaking his head. “God, if I know anything about Santiago it's that he’s upside down, head over heels, makes him look stupid, in love with you. And he has been since you and that fucker Ben rolled up to Delta like you already belonged.” 

You swallow, not sure what to say, your throat dry as you rub your hands together and then stuff them under your armpits to keep them warm in the cooling air. “Oh yeah? Helluva way of showin’ it. He said I was fuckin’ useless. Called me a coward. Said anything that happened to y’all was my fault. And then Tom died. And you all were never around anymore, not even Benny.” 

“Shit, honey,” he says softly. “We thought Santi was still going out there to see you every chance his dumbass got.” He pauses and then looks over at you, shifting to cradle his weapon in his arms. “As for that other shit, Pope says some shit when he gets mad, and no one gets under his skin better than you. You know nothing that happened down here was your fault. It was our fault, our choices.” 

You bite the side of your cheek. “Thanks, Fish.” 

“You can call it stupid if you want. It was.” 

“It was stupid and you’re all greedy bastards,” you say, knocking a shoulder into his. 

He smiles, “Yeah. But it might just work out this time.” 

~

The night passes easily. 

You don’t start a fire, and the guys are curiously silent about the prospect though you know it's smarter not to start one and draw attention to your position. 

Benny takes the first watch and you end up sandwiched between Frankie and Santiago. 

It takes all your willpower not to curl into him, the smell of him exactly as you remember, the heat of him, the press of him against you. 

Right when you’re about to fall asleep, you feel Santi’s fingers curl through yours and squeeze gently, his lips at your ear. “I’m so fucking sorry, mi vida.” 

~

The next morning, at first light, with most of the cash already transported to the truck, you spot movement on the ridgeline, and when you lift your scope to your eye and see bodies traveling down the rocky mountainside. 

You call out a warning just as the first shot slams into the ground several feet from you. 

You duck for cover before coming up on a knee to squeeze your own trigger, the silencer muffling the sound of the shot.

Santi turns and watches a distant body fall to the ground, as he too falls behind one of the many boulders.  

“Hey, hey, what the fuck are we shooting at?” Ben yells at you as you grab him and yank him down beside you. 

“We gotta go,” you spit out over the comms as Benny lifts his body away from yours to take a couple shots of his own, clearly felling his targets by the look on his face, “Looks like somebody patrols this area now. Probably because of you fuckers.”

“Frankie, Will, stay where you are,” Santiago says over the comms. 

“What’s going on?” Will snarls back. 

“Fuck just -,” 

You pop off another shot, using hand signals to tell Santi to start moving his ass toward the treeline. He’s closer to your exit route than you and Ben. “They’re all down the fucking mountain - we’re about to be cut off. We need to go,” you say into the comms. “Grab that shit and let's go,” you say to Benny, pointing to the last duffle bag at your feet before gripping his tac vest as you start moving forward together against the rocks as fast as you dare.

You look ahead and note that Santiago isn’t moving, instead standing his ground and shooting back at the ridgeline, covering the two of you. 

It’s a stupid fucking move. There were too many of them, too many shots for it to make a difference. But he’s clearly waiting for the two of you, the babies of Delta, to make it back to him before he moves off. The rest of them had always been overprotective of you and Ben though none of them would ever admit it. They know you’re both more than capable but that didn’t stop them from double and triple asking if you were sure you wanted to do something, or making it a priority to intervene when one of you were in trouble, especially Will when it came to you and Benny. 

And while you hadn’t been here before, you know. 

This is where Tom died. This is where they lost everything. 

Santiago doesn’t like to lose. 

“Fuck!” You can hear him shout, directing Benny to stop with a raised fist, moving back toward you instead away from you. 

They’re close enough now that you can hear shouts, and you meet nearer to the trees, all three of you pressed behind a rock. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Benny is screaming, the noise muffled in your ear, your concentration fastened back on the moving targets, the bodies, the people. You take a steadying breath and line up your shots. “You’re going to get us fucking killed!” Benny continues. “What the fuck, man! We had it!”

You always were the best shot of Delta, and the people closest to you fall. 

You can’t tell if they’re dead. 

The clip is empty and you take a moment to reload, slamming the cartridge into place with more force than necessary. 

“You really must think me fucking useless if you think I can’t move six feet without you!” You shout at Santiago, who grabs the two of you and shoves you ahead of him, crouched down low. “You fucker!” 

“Fuck! It’s not about that-,” he starts, but you ignore him moving quickly over unsteady ground. 

You and Benny are younger than the rest of the team by years, and it shows now, Santi panting as you run and cuss without a hitch in your breath. Ben cursing in front of you the whole way.  

“You stupid fucker,” you snarl again, Benny echoing your sentiment as you pause again, bullets richoching around you. 

Santi pants as he leans back against the rock for a moment, letting you rage against him, fear eating your heart because he had just ran at you. He had ran back to you for no fucking reason and now he might die with you and Benny. You raise yourself up to shoot back again, Benny taking shots to the right.

“They’re closing in, we need to move,” Benny says, radioing over the comms to warn Frankie and Will to have the truck ready and waiting.

You and Santi are silent, taking coordinated shots. 

“Fuck! Why are there so many of them?” You grit your teeth, the recoil of the gun against you starting to bruise. 

“They knew we lost that money, they’ve been waiting for someone to come poking around for it so they could get it,” Santi says, his breathing even again. “Probably set up patrols here after we came though.” 

You glance over at him to ask why he hadn’t shared that thought before this moment, and feel your heart stop. Up the rockside and to the left, there at the edge of the rocks, a kid stands with a gun sighted up on Santiago. 

“Santi,” you whisper, voice hoarse. And then so loud, you hurt you own ears, “Santi!”

He starts to turn but you reach over and grab him by the back of his neck, jerking him down, and using the leverage to haul yourself up above him. The kid shoots at the same time you do. 

Your bullet lodges between his eyes, but the shot that would have split Santago’s skull in two, lodges deep into the fleshy part of you between your shoulder and your clavicle. You wobble and then crash back between Santi and Ben, not entirely sure what just happened. 

You look down at yourself, where the bullet perfectly caught right at the edge of your skewed tac vest, just above your heart 

Panic surges up through you suddenly and your vision clouds as you grit your teeth against the pain. 

Santi grips your jaw hard, those dark fathomless eyes boring into you, shouting something at you. 

But you can’t get enough breath into your lungs to feel like you can respond. “Fuck,” you whisper, touching the blood on your hoodie. One of Santi’s old hoodies, you hadn’t realized until now. “I think I’m hit,” you say as Santi slaps your hand away from the wound. 

Blood gushes out of the hole in waves. “Blue, look at me,” Santi says, a sudden pressure on the wound making you bite down a howl. His hands are covered in red. Blood, it must be your blood. “You’re gonna be okay.” 

“Okay, Pope,” you whisper, the edge of your vision fading, “Fuck I think it hit my heart.” 

You don’t hear his answer, the last thing you know is Santi and Ben leaning over you, dead panic on their faces but you can’t quite figure out why. 

~

Carrying you to the truck, your eyes unfocused and glossy, feels a lot like carrying Tom’s corpse home. 

Santiago doesn’t scare easy, but cradling your head in his lap while Ben cries his eyes out and snarls at Will to drive faster, scares him. 

Frankie’s worried eyes turning back to assess you, scares him. 

Will’s stoic silence, scares him. 

But nothing comes close to the fear he feels at the prospect of having to carry home your corpse. 

And suddenly that money, everything in the world, nothing matters to him but you - and it’ll be his fault if you die now. 

He leans down over you, presses a kiss to the shell of your ear. There’s blood caked on your neck, crusting along the edge of your sweatshirt. Your ball cap and protective glasses are on the floor of the truck at his feet, stained a crimson that his brain can’t make sense of. 

The graze of the bullet against your thigh was god’s warning to turn back, and he hadn’t heeded it. 

Ruthless. 

He’s always been ruthless. 

And now maybe that ruthlessness really would get you killed. 

He can’t really make himself understand it, why you would jump up like that and pull him out of the way. 

“Santi,” you murmur, your breath sweet against his skin, your bloody fingers scrubbing against the stubble on his cheek. “Santi,” you whisper against his skin, the copper smell of you making him sick, makes him want to fucking vomit. 

“Hold on, cariño,” he says gently. “We’re gonna get you home safe and sound.” But your skin is ashen, your lips chapped already and he knows there isn’t a chance in hell of you making it to the States alive without them addressing the mess that is your shoulder. 

“Fuck,” he snarls when your eyes flutter closed again, your body going limp as you pass out. “Benny, grab that med pack. We’re gonna have to sew her up before she loses any more blood. She’s not gonna make it if we don’t.”

Pope rips back the straps of your tac vest, rips your sweatshirt open as Benny goes cool with determination, grounded and levelheaded even as tears slip down his nose. There’s no exit wound and so Benny passes over the supplies Santi needs to dig the bullet out of your shoulder. 

He stuffs cloth in your mouth when you lurch and give a blood curdling scream, forceps squelching deep in the wound until he can finally rip the metal out of your shoulder. 

He forces you to keep it in your mouth so you don’t break your teeth, bite your fucking tongue off, when they dump peroxide over the wound. 

Benny holds you still after he hands Santiago the threaded needle, closes his eyes and takes a breath, before he unsteadily and messily sews your shoulder closed. 

By the time he’s done with you, you’re so still he might as well have killed you himself. 

Then

“Hey, killer,” Santiago says when you thrust open the front screen door with a toe. 

“Hey yourself, old man,” you snipe at him, “Wanna help me out a little?” 

Santi finishes wiping his hands on a dishtowel and moves to hold the door open for you. 

You’re wearing ratty gym clothes, boxing gloves spilling out of your duffle bag, a couple of grocery bags fisted in your other hand. 

Santiago gently takes the groceries from you and dumps them on the kitchen table as you wave out at Benny’s retreating jeep. 

Ben obnoxiously lays on the horn all the way down the road, but it makes you laugh and so he doesn’t roll his eyes too hard at it. 

“You weren’t here when I got in last night,” Santiago says when you beeline into the kitchen and dump your bag on the floor. 

He doesn’t get a chance to say anything else because you kiss him, your palms against his cheeks, the line of your body against his. When you pull away you smirk at him and peer at the breakfast he has started on your stove. 

“Don’t you have your own house to go to?” 

“My own house isn’t where you are.” 

You laugh, bell bright, but he knows you think he’s just fucking with you. “You stay at Ben’s?” 

“He lost last night and was pouting about it,” you say, unloading the grocery bags. “Me and Will stayed with him. Re-watched Predator for the millionth time. Knew we’d end up at the gym in the morning together anyways.” 

Santi tucks his arms around you and drags you back against his chest, pressing his lips to the nape of your neck and then the shell of your ear. “Left me high and dry here, honey.” 

“Oh, I’m sure you managed to entertain yourself, Santi.” You turn your head and bump your forehead against his temple. “You’ve got a hand don’t you?” 

He scoffs, “That’s fuckin’ cruel. Expecting pussy and getting a hand.” 

You turn in his grip and wind your arms around his neck, smiling and stretching against him like a cat. “Lemme shower and this pussy is all yours, babe.” 

“Shower, breakfast, then pussy,” he says. “I know you didn’t eat this morning.” 

You roll your eyes, “Hurts my feelings when you ignore me like this Santiago.” 

“The last thing in the world I’m doing is ignoring you,” he says, cupping his hands under your ass to lift you onto the counter. 

You settle back against the cabinets and he slots himself between your legs, running his hands up your thighs, beneath the fabric of your gym shorts. “You’re so pretty. Have I ever told you that?” 

A grin splits your face, one he’s glad to see, one that had taken a year of counseling and fucking and boxing and bar nights to coax back out of you. “Sure,” you say.

“I mean it.” 

“I know.” 

Santiago licks his lips, takes your hands in his, the dozens of rings that line your fingers grazing his. 

It was one of the things you’d started wearing to feel more like yourself again, to recapture your identity outside the military, outside Delta. 

He traces the rings carefully for a moment when your voice reaches out to him again, your hand touching his jaw. “Santi?” you ask. 

“I brought something back for you,” he says, squeezing your knee gently. “Stay here.” 

He looks up and meets your eyes, searching the gaze he knows so well, and still coming back empty, still confused about what it all means to you, what he means to you. “Okay,” you say, “What is it?” 

Instead of answering, he ducks out of the kitchen to rifle through his own bag that he left in the front hall the night before. 

When he returns to you, you have one heel up on the counter, a cup filled with coffee at your side, picking bits of food out of the pan on the stove. 

He knocks your heel down, jolting you, “Feet on the counter? Really?” 

“It’s my fucking counter, Garcia,” you snap at him, but you smile when you say it. 

“Fucking counter, huh?” 

“Shut up.” 

“I mean I have fucked you there enough times, haven’t I?” He asks, watching you roll your eyes, tracking your every movement, unable to glance away from you. 

You lift that same foot and shove at his shoulder as you sip your coffee. “Fuck off.” 

Santi catches your foot, presses a kiss to your ankle and lets it drop again so he can slot himself between your legs again, holding up the ring he has pinched between two fingers in his other hand. 

Your eyes lock onto the gold, lips parting. “Found it at a market in Bogotá. Polished it up on the way back. Thought you’d like it for your collection.” 

Gingerly, as though the ring is made of smoke and not metal, you reach out to take it from him. “It’s beautiful,” you say, examining the stones embedded in the gold. 

Santi takes it back from you, and examines your hands, the many, many rings that stack on your fingers. “Which finger you want it on, mi vida?” 

You wiggle your right ring finger and he slips it into place. It's a perfect fit. 

He looks up at you, he means to tell you in that moment, that there’s no one else, that there’s only you, that this thing between you is solid and real and he wants no one else, ever. That you’re his and he’s yours. 

That you are his girl. 

But the words die on his lips as soon as he looks at you, and then you’re sliding off the counter and kissing him so hard, he feels like he might bruise. 

“Why don’t you shower with me and we can kill two birds with one stone?” You ask. “I get clean and you get pussy.” 

He holds you so tight he feels you exhale a sharp breath, tilting his head over yours, brows pulled together as he watches you, watches the widening of your eyes. 

“All for a ring?” he undercuts his own fucking plan, his own feelings. 

“It’s a pretty ring.”

Now

They have to leave you in the hotel they check into, to meet with the bank, to deposit their fucking money. 

Fifty million and it feels like nothing. 

Benny and Will wait with you while he and Fish go to the bank first, and then switch places. 

You’re awake when they get back and Santi wants to cry. Fish pretends there’s something he forgot in the lobby and leaves. 

Santi pulls up a chair next to you and takes your hand. “What the fuck were you thinking?” He murmurs. 

“Was thinking I didn’t want your brains all over me,” you say, weak fingers tightening on his. “You did a shit job stitching me up, by the way. But I think it saved my life.”

Santi says your name quietly, picking up your hand, your skin clammy against his. “Well our combat medic was out.”  

He closes his eyes, gritting his jaw, trying to wash away the image of your prone body on two different boats, carrying you with Benny away from the line of fire like you were already gone from the world. 

“Why?” He asks again. “Fuck, why would you do that?” 

You grip his hand weakly, “Because. Because you - probably the same reason you ran toward me instead of away. Because I knew you were about to die and couldn’t let that happen.” 

“And what if you fucking died, huh?” 

“Guess I’d be dead then.” 

He winces but doesn’t let you look away from him. 

You swallow, “Help me sit up? I want some water.”

Santi hurries to help you sit up, listening to the way you groan tightly before he fetches a bottle of water for you and unscrews the cap. 

Your hand shakes when you lift the bottle to your lips, and he has to cup the bottom of it to hold it steady for you. 

When you’ve drunk your fill, you handle the bottle back and yank down the strap of your sports bra to look at the gauze webbed around your shoulder, the blood that slowly begins to stain through because of your movement. 

You sigh and then fiddle with your rings, his ring on your finger, where it's never moved since he placed it there. “Santi,” you murmur. “I know we never said it - but I love you. That’s why it hurt so goddamn bad when you left. It just confirmed that it really never mattered to you. And this - this stupid fucking money - I know how you get. I couldn’t believe - couldn’t believe you just dropped me like that. I told myself you didn’t mean it. That we’re both mean sons of bitches when we’re pissed but then you never came home.” 

You take a long stuttering breath, and his heart feels like it's stopped beating, like god has a boot on his chest. “I never woulda done that to you. You left it up to Benny to tell me what the fuck happened. I didn’t just lose you, I lost all of you. You know what that’s like? To have your best friend, who you’ve never been apart from for more than a couple days, just drop you? To have - to have you - for better or worse, the man I fucking love - abandon me?” 

Is this what it takes to get him to spill his guts to you? 

Having you half dead in his arms, your eyes lined with circles, your skin tone off by several shades, telling him things he already fucking knows? 

He cups your cheeks in his palms gently, swipes away the tears that fall. Santiago hasn’t seen you like this in years, since you finally started coming back to yourself. 

“Fuck, baby,” he whispers. “Fuck, mi vida, I’m so fucking sorry.” 

~

Santi curls his arms around you, shifts you on the bed until he can lie down with you, the pressure off of your injured shoulder as you turn on your side to fit yourself against him. 

“I can never take back those things I said to you. But you have to know - I didn’t mean a single word of it. Nothing that happened on that mission was your fault. Not a fucking thing. As soon as things went sideways the first time, the only thing I could think was thank god she’s safe at home.” 

He presses a kiss to your forehead and you feel more tears leak down your cheeks. “You are the best shot we have - proved that a couple times over yesterday, I think. You were never just a medic, you know that. You’ve beaten me in hand to hand more than enough times, all the rest of those fuckers too. You’re the best of us, honey. I was just so goddamn scared you’d never forgive me for the things I was about to do - you had it right about Lorea and the money and my motivation.”

You feel the movement of his throat against you, arms tightening by a fraction, before he says, voice hoarse, “And I’ve always loved you. Always. I never knew how to say it. You’ve been my only girl for so fucking long.” 

You shove his shoulder gently and feel him stiffen but you only bring his forehead to yours, peering into those eyes that were always so intense, that missed nothing, and read you like a book. 

You scrub a hand over his stubbled cheek, the pull of the hair against your hand soothing. “You know I love you, Santiago.”

“I love you,” he answers sincerely. “Sorry it took so goddamn long.”

You pull him down into a kiss, your shoulder aching, a biting pain that lances across your chest. “Me too,” you murmur, gingerly unbuttoning his jeans, careful of the very messy stitches in your shoulder. You hiss through your teeth and Santi stops your hand. 

“No, your shoulder-,” 

“Yes,” you murmur. “Yes. You just have to be careful with me. You just have to be gentle.” You peer up at him, into those brown eyes that feel so like home to you, like the warmth of a summer forest. You touch the hinge of his jaw, “Just be gentle with me.” 

Santi’s eyes clench closed and then he’s nodding and kissing your forehead, all resolve gone. You thought the strings of your heart had been wrapped around his fingers all these years. You never imagined that you held his too. 

He pulls away from you to undress, since you won’t be able to do it for him in your state, and you use the opportunity to push your shorts and underwear off with your good arm. 

And then he’s back, naked against you, one arm under your neck to support your head, the other curving around your knee to hitch over his hip, pressing so close to you. You feel the ridges of his cock against your pussy, already wet.

“Just like this,” he murmurs to you, never breaking his eyes from yours, his gaze just as steady and intense as it always has been, but now there’s a thread of vulnerability that makes you duck your head to press a kiss over his heart. Your good hand against his cheek, the other carefully skimming along his abdomen, the thick muscle and padding he carries. 

You both watch as he slides into you, watch your bodies join slowly, the stretch of him so fucking good and heavy. 

Your breath leaves you in a gust and Santi pauses, more gentle with you than he’s ever been. “Fuck. You have to tell me if I’m hurting you. Okay?” 

You meet his gaze, rolling your hips against his, “Santi.” 

He moves then, meeting the slow thrust of you. “Yeah, baby, tell me what you need.” 

Instead of biting something out at him like you usually would, you cup both hands against his cheeks as he tightens his arm around your waist, bringing you that much closer. 

Santi leans his forehead against yours, and neither of you shut your eyes. You can’t, you have to know he’s there and real and everything that he’s said the last few minutes is true. 

He’d always been better at doing than saying and now is no different - his gaze unwavering, making love to you so softly you feel a tear bead and slip down your nose. 

Santiago swipes it away with his thumb as he shifts the arm beneath your neck so he can cup the back of your skull, fingers digging through your hair. 

The pleasure in your belly builds slowly, but that almost feels secondary to the other things you’re feeling - like you finally belonged, like you were no longer adrift, like you finally found your home. 

You press your hand flat over his sternum and feel the thrumming of his heart against your hand. 

“It beats for you,” he says, closing his eyes briefly to press his nose into your hair. 

You almost want to laugh, at how corny it is, if you didn’t know for certain that he’s never said anything more sincerely. 

Sweat beads along his salt and pepper curls, the smell of him like his cologne and cheap hotel soap and sweat. 

You move your hips more frantically, Santiago matching you thrust for push, when you bury your nose in his neck and inhale sharply. 

“I’m close,” you murmur. “Please, Santi.” 

“Look at me, baby,” he says. “Lemme see those pretty eyes when you come for me.” 

You meet his eyes, trace the long sweep of his lashes with your gaze when the pressure in your belly snaps and you cry out. 

Santiago captures your lips, swallowing down your moan, as he presses a hand to the back of your neck, fingers slowly sliding down your spine. His thrusts become sloppy and slow and his brow is furrowed. 

When you whisper, “Come for me, Santi,” he exhales sharply into your mouth and comes inside you, hips slowly stuttering to a stop. “I love you.” 

“Fuck,” he says. “Fuck, if I don’t love you more than I deserve to.” He tugs you close, careful of your shoulder which aches more than you’re willing to admit in that moment. 

But you’ve been shot before, and it's not as bad as it could be. 

“Yeah,” you coo. “But I want it anyway. I want all your fucked up love.” 

Santi laughs and it sounds like a sob, and you curl your fingers through his hair tugging lightly. “I meant to - the day I gave you the ring. I meant to clarify that day that we - ,”

“Mhm,” you hum against him. “Is that what this ring means? You claimed me?” 

“Means we belong to each other.” 

You nod, “Move in when we get back.” 

“I’m gonna put in a pool in your backyard, that deck is begging for one. Gotta have somewhere to keep the boys entertained when I need to fuck you.” 

You laugh and then wince at the movement in your shoulder. “Backyard is all yours.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

Just then someone knocks at the door. “We have the contract for you to sign if you’re done fucking,” Frankie calls, loud enough that the whole hall probably hears. 

You groan but Santi just keeps gazing at you, lips pouted, “And a dog. We gotta get a dog. And a new couch, I’m done sitting on Ben’s cheeto dust.” 

“Anything. As long as you’re there.” 

His breath catches and he looks like he can’t quite breathe. “Yeah,” he murmurs, lips ghosting over yours. “As long as you’re there.” 

Your heart beats so hard, you think it's trying to break free from your chest to join with his.

#santiago garcia x reader #santiago garcia x you #santiago garcia #santiago pope garcia #santiago pope garcia x reader #santiago pope garcia x you #triple frontier #triple frontier x reader #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier fic #oscar isaac

[mulderscully]

i kinda also have negative dw feelings but i would looooove to hear yours

it's complicated because a lot of my feelings turned sour over a leak for the last special and that's ruined my enjoyment of the other two.

but basically: i don't like donna getting her memories back. I KNOW this is the most unpopular opinion of all time, but the more i sit with it the more i know it's how i feel.

i didn't always feel this way, but i love the trajedy of donna's ending. i love that it was hard and painful for both of them.

i always assumed she would get her memories back temporarily and then CHOOSE to lose them again because she has found meaning outside of the doctor. but to see that she is still in that same mental space is really a downer, and to me it feels like... donna clearly has some serious mental health struggles that just cannot be "oh, she's happy when she's with the doctor!" because what sort of message does that send?

one things i love abt rtd era is the the focus on family, and we saw a glimpse of that in the first special, only for it to be ripped away and have her and fourteen thrown into some insane plot for the second special, which is such a strange decision to me just because this is an anniversary special! as a standalone, great! but as an episode that is supposed to celebrate 60 years it's like.... ok?

i also just feel like there is too much disconnect for me. fourteen is written in a way that doesn't make much sense to me. it feels like he's written like... ten but more emotional? not like this was JUST the thirteenth doctor. it feels like a reversion that doesn't feel honest or earned at all? thirteen was closed off too! and it's odd for him to be suprised about certain behaviors that are "new" when they're absolutely not to the doctor. eleven was a VERY touchy feely doctor for a thousand years. this isn't new to him, but it would be to TEN and it feels like rtd can't let go of writing fourteen as ten in this regard.

and my issue is also just the fandom. i love the tenth doctor. i love his pain, his repression, his intensity. so people saying fourteen is "ten but better." or whatever is just confirming that people never actually understood or loved ten for who he was, and that's making me sad since he is the most popular doctor there is in new who.

and it's like... no matter what this gonna change how people see ten. how they see his era and his regeneration as well and that bums me out. i love specials ten, i LOVE i don't want to go. and while all of that still happened, it somehow feels cheapened to me now :|

this would all work if rtd has used what he already had: the metacrisis doctor, instead of having david be the doctor three times. not bc i'm a tenroorose girlie but bc then everything wouldve stayed in tact. and having cameos from rose and maybe martha as well would've felt more like an ode to what made his era so strong and revived the show in the first place.

idk this is messy and i'm still sorting it out but i feel a little bit churny abt it and not rly in a positive way because in his book rtd was soooo proud of how he ended s4 that the last thing i expected was for it all to be undone with a wave of the hand and without delving much into the life donna has made for herself and/or focusing on the people the doctor has ADORED in the time since as if he didn't have a downright manic devotion to clara.

#reply #dw spoilers #dw negativity

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Unexpectedly Yours: Part 3

Fandom: Ted Lasso (Regency AU)

Pairing: Roy Kent x F!Reader

Summary: Lord Roy Kent still has yet to marry. He hates the notion that marriage is a way to ensure your status in society. You have delayed your debut to society for years because of the same idea. So what happens when two people who hate the idea of marriage are constantly drawn to each other?

Part 1 | Part 2

"Miss Y/N, you have a caller," your ladies maid, Jane, announces as you, your mother, and Cece in the drawing room doing your own respective activities.

"Who is it, Jane? your mother asks.

"Lady O'Sullivan, ma'am."

Your mother perked up, "Lord Kent's sister?!" She turns to you, "What do you think she'd like to speak about?"

"I'm not sure, but I'll see to her right now," you stand from your chair and place your book onto the seat.

You follow Jane to the front room. You smile when you see Clara. You give her a curtsey, "Lady O'Sullivan, it's a pleasure to see you."

She shakes her head, "Please, just Clara will do."

"Would you like some tea? I can have Jane-"

"Oh no. That's not necessary. This is a quick visit. I'd just like to personally invite you and your family to dinner in three days, if you're available."

"Oh! We'd love to attend. Cece has been asking when she can see Phoebe again."

Clara softly laughs, "Phoebe as well."

"I will inform my mother. She'll be very excited."

Clara then smirks, "Yes, my brother will be very pleased to hear you'll be attending."

You clear your throat, "Right, yes, Lord Kent. He's...interesting."

Clara scoffs, "It's alright. You can say he's a pain in the ass."

You burst out laughing, Clara joining you.

"I-I wouldn't say that. He can be pleasant, when he wants to be, I assume."

"Hmmm. Indeed."

"Very well. I will see you in a few days. I look forward to our dinner, Y/N," Clara gives you a bow and sees herself out.

You let out a deep breath before sharing the news with your mother.

_____________________

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Roy looks at his sister in disbelief.

Clara glares at his brother, "Lower your tone," Roy rolls his eyes and Clara continues, "It's clear to me you harbor some feelings for Y/N. This is just another opportunity to talk with her, maybe, propose a courtship?"

Roy pinches the bridge of nose and groans, "Clara, she despises me."

She shakes her head, "See, you say that, but I'm sure that's not true," she walks over to her brother's couch and sits on it while he continues to look at her with disbelief from his desk, "Roy, just because things didn't work out with Georgina doesn't mean it won't work out for the next woman."

"Why can't you just let me live my life alone?"

"Because no one should ever be alone. Roy, you're a good man. I know you could make any woman happy if you just open yourself up to the possibility."

Roy lets out a deep breath and shakes his head, "Maybe we should move somewhere else."

"Roy!"

"Maybe the countryside where we don't have to deal with fucking society anymore."

Clara rolls her eyes and stands, "Complain all you want, but we're having Y/N and her family over."

_______________________________

Your father had arrived from his travels abroad, which excited you. He'd always bring back books for you to read.

"How are you, my dear?" he asks you while he escorts you around the gardens.

"I'm alright," you reply, giving him a shrug.

"Just alright?" he looks at you with concern.

"Well, you missed my debut ball. It would've been a lot more tolerable if you were there."

"I suppose it's good that I didn't. Wouldn't want to let down all of those young men asking for your hand."

"Father!"

Your father laughs and kisses your head, "But no one has sparked your interest?"

"Not really."

"Not even a little bit?" he gives you a look and you smile shyly at him.

"Well maybe, but he doesn't seem like he's fond of me...or fond of anyone really."

"Who is it?"

"Lord Roy Kent. He, his sister, and niece moved here from Chelsea after his sister's husband died. We've interacted a few times here and there. He's somewhat pleasant to talk to, a bit blunt sometimes. But he seems sweet. He cares a lot about his sister and niece."

"Well, I hear we have dinner with him in a few days. So I look forward to meeting him."

_______________________

Roy is pacing back and forth while Clara and Phoebe watch him amusedly.

"You seem nervous, Uncle Roy," Phoebe states with a grin.

Roy shoots a look to Phoebe and she snickers. Clara pats her daughter's arm in comfort, "Ignore your Uncle Roy, darling. He's definitely nervous because Y/N is coming."

Roy stops, placing a hand on his stomach, "I don't feel well."

"You're fine."

"I think I forgot to write letters to-"

"Roy," Clara stands and approaches her brother and cups his face in her hands, "It'll be fine. What you really need to worry about is her father, who just arrived back from his travels."

"Her father is coming?! Oh fuuuuu-"

"Roy!" Clara slaps her brother's arm.

"Ma'am, your guests are here."

"Wonderful!" Clara gestures for Phoebe to follow her and she does. The two head out of the sitting room and then turn to Roy who looked like he was in internal battle with himself.

__________________

You, your parents, and Cece sit with Roy, Clara, and Phoebe in the sitting room while dinner continued to be prepared. Phoebe and Clara were on the floor playing with dolls. You sit on the piano bench, slightly more distant from the rest of the group.

Roy looks uneasy, as if he would rather be anywhere but here. The thought made you feel a bit insecure. You were sure he didn't like you too much but the fact that it physically seems that way hurts you. You begin to fidget with your gloves, rubbing the satin fabric in a way to appease your growing anxiety.

"Y/N?" you look up to see your father looking at you with soft eyes.

"Yes?"

"Will you play us a song?"

"O-Oh. Um, any requests?"

"Whatever you choose should be fine," Clara responds with a smile.

You glance towards Roy and meet his eyes for a second before he looks away. You clear your throat and turn around to face the piano. You mentally go through the songs you know how to play and pick one. It's a slow, soft tune. It starts of light but then turns melancholic with it's lower notes.

You focus on the keys before you rather than the conversation at hand.

"So, Lord Kent-"

"Roy, Lord L/N, please."

"Roy, how are you finding Richmond so far?"

"It's alright," Roy rasps out.

Clara rolls her eyes, "He's more used to the city life. Phoebe and I love it here. We were unsure about the move, but after some time, we've grown to love Richmond."

Your father nods with a polite smile, "I hope Richmond continues to treat you well."

"Thank you, sir."

"I'm curious, how do the men and women here compare to those in London?"

Your mother scolds your father and he shrugs, "I'm just curious!"

Clara chuckles, "I wouldn't know to be quite honest. My concern isn't on them, rather on Phoebe. My brother, however, is very open to finding himself a wife." That piques your interest.

"Clara," Roy practically growls in warning.

His sister rolls her eyes, "My brother believes he doesn't deserve to be happy with someone."

"That's nonsense, my boy! Everyone deserves to have someone they hold dear to their heart!"

Roy looks at your father in surprise, "Many people your age don't hold that same sentiment, sir."

Your father waves him off, "That's all nonsense. These people believe that wealth and status is the most important thing world. They sacrifice their happiness for it."

"Were you two a love match?" Phoebe asks, now growing bored of playing dolls and finding the adults' conversation much more fascinating. You, too, tried to listen in on the conversation while you continued to play.

"Not at first, no. I believe she hated me when we first met."

Your mother rolls her eyes, "He kept talking about himself, not once asking me any questions or letting me speak for even a second."

"I was nervous! She was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and, to be quite frank, I've never been very good at talking with ladies. So, yes, I did talk about myself too much. But luckily, she gave me a chance at the next ball to apologize. I spent the entire dance listening to her share things about herself. When the dance was over, I didn't want it to end."

"What happened next, uncle?" Cece asks.

"He asked for a courtship the next day," your mother replies.

Your father laughs, "Oh, I was smitten. We courted for a month before I proposed!"

"Then you got married?!" Cece asks.

"Oh heavens, no. She rejected me and said she wanted to spend more time courting. I asked her again after the second month. Got rejected again. The third month was when she finally said yes."

"Really?!" Cece looks at your parents in disbelief.

Your mother chuckles, "My mother was so upset with me for denying him twice, but he ensured her that he wouldn't give up on me. It just took me a bit more time to warm up to him."

"Ma'am, dinner is ready."

"Finally!" Phoebe groans, causing all of the adults to chuckle.

Everyone stands, following the servant to the dining room. You and Roy are the last ones to leave.

You curtsey to him, "Lord Kent."

"You play beautifully," he says, offering his arm to you.

"Thank you, sir," you place your hand in the crook of his arm and you both follow the group.

You feel your cheeks heat up as your father looks over his shoulder to see you with Roy. He gives you a wink before looking forward.

#roy kent x reader #roy kent imagine #roy kent #f!reader #fem!reader #female!reader #ted lasso au #regency au

[mylittleredgirl]

Least favorite Star Trek character in each series?

i love all my children equally how could you do this to me!!!!

slightly more rational answer: i have been thinking about this since yesterday when i got the ask and it's like every time i think i have an answer i immediately go "oh but i love them for XYZ" and they move up in the ranks. ultimately most treks are ensemble shows and removing anybody from the ensemble makes it all fall apart!

gun to my head, though, bearing in mind that i love all of them:

tos: gun to my head it's chapel i'm afraid and i feel bad about it. she doesn't really get to grow much and the other most-static character is probably chekov and i had a massive crush on him. in 1967 when they went "you know this show should add a mop top for the teenyboppers out there" they were talking specifically about me 30 years later.

tng: i would take the bullet for real.

ds9: man i'm going through main characters and then secondary characters and then tertiary characters and how are they all so essential and good????? literally i have gone thru a list of characters and a list of episodes and am coming up blank. even the villains are fantastic. eddington is annoying but he's supposed to be and his episodes are all great. sloan himself is fun it's just what section 31 did to star trek in general that sucks. like????? there's not a single name that shows up in the credits that doesn't make me go YEAHHHHHH.

voy: if we can count recurring characters i'm saying barclay. i liked him a lot as a character in tng and but go "for fuck's sake" whenever i see "guest star dwight schultz" on the voyager credits. i dislike pretty much every earth-contact episode after "message in a bottle" so maybe i don't like voyager-barclay because he just happens to be there?? for main cast it'd be neelix shut up shut up i love him in the ensemble but sometimes when they give him his own episode it's too much.

ent: sorry malcolm lovers this was the only show that was an easy choice. like we SHOULD dig into the fact that essentially his greatest wish is to sacrifice himself and he won't be happy until he dies on the job. klingon behavior but not at all for the fun and glory of it just because he kind of just doesn't enjoy being alive???? archer is terrible in so many ways but he's also much more enjoyable to watch being terrible.

disco: this is actually a very weird show to even know who to choose from. the cast changes every year! we barely even know the bridge crew! who is interesting enough to count as a main character?? of the main title cast i'm kind of hot and cold with adira. i like them but the sheer amount of anxiety radiating off them at all times makes me tense up whenever they come on screen. (i just realized it's kind of ironic to say adira because they're basically a mix of wesley and ezri, who would probably make this list for most other trekkies but are two of my absolute faves.) (i will think long and hard about this)

snw: i don't know that i have enough of a read on any of them? i still haven't finished it. chapel (again?? oh no) is the one i had the hardest time warming up to early on because she seemed the most wink-y and out of place in a franchise that usually takes silly things very seriously, but i did warm up to her!

lower decks: if we can go with guest characters i hate badgey (only one on here that gathers the "hate" rating!!). i don't find him (it??) funny and i know i SHOULD find it funny which means whenever it shows up i am both not having a good time and feel bad about not having a good time. the main characters are all brilliant. gun to my head it's boims but it's a close one i love them all.

i don't even know what other shows we have i've run out of steam???

oh right picard. captain shaw??? why is such a large subset of fandom so horny for him??? and shipping him with seven of nine of all things???? is it just White Guy With Trauma because there are like. a lot of other white guys with trauma in this franchise to choose from.

#chatter post #anonymous friend #star trek thoughts #this killed me i'm going to eat ice cream straight from the container now and i didn't even get them all

[theghostbunnie]

Pls don't mind that none of this is recent art- also! third picture was a collab with @chloetoey69 go check them out! (sorry if you didn't want to be @ 'ed in this I'll take it out if you want/gen)

But basically for this pairing to work it has to be in certain AUs they both grow as people first becaused they're both flawed parents, partners, and people. Candy has had an off/on relationship with Nikki's father Andrew and Arjun has been in a codependent relationship with his wife for years. It starts deviating from my cannon adjacent stuff when Arjun decides Max deserves better. He eventually gets a divorce and starts working on gaining his trust back. (Very important his redemption arc for enabling the situation for so long/being emotionally absent doesn't happen overnight and although Max wanted a better relationship with him he realizes his feelings and hurt don't just disappear, it takes work to get better)

Arjun and Candy knew each other in HS and were friends (he had a crush on her, but nothing ever became of it) and they hadn't really connected in years but Candy ending up letting them stay with her while he was dealing with finding a place, a job, giving up bad coping mechanisms, and fixing his relationship with his son.

That's where they start to become friends again and Candy becomes aware she hasn't been the most emotionally attentive towards Nikki either, it wasn't intentional but that only means she never was *aware* of the issue. (I literally have so many HCs about Candy I'm so sorry for being cringe. It will happen again)

The genuine friendship is very healing for both of them. Arjun gains weight and it's seen as a positive, aswell as his curl pattern growing back. Candy doesn't visually change in any way but her intentions for the way she dresses become way more about being herself than being alluring for others. (Something it was always to an extent but as I've mentioned she has her issues)

Romantic feelings start to develop, they're mutually in love with each other alot. Candy loves helping him develop a new fashion sense as his old one doesn't "feel like him" anymore and he even he participates in buying matching clothes for them, surprising each other with wearable gifts is a big part of their love language. Physical affection on the other hand Arjun had to take time to be used to giving (adores giving it) but it took even longer to get used to receiving it. He's not necessarily uncomfortable about it just?? Surprised??

GB AU she's named Aarya check pic up above of her being pleasantly caught off guard by compliments and proximity

I'll be happy to awnser any questions I love these sillies I'm sorry again camp camp fandom for taking a one off character that wasn't supposed to be taken seriously and doing this do you forgive me 💖💖

#art #artists on tumblr #fictional characters #digital art #digital illustration #camp campbell #campcamp #drawing #character design #camp camp #oc #camp camp oc #fandom #fanart #shipping #ship art #oc x canon #oc artwork #digital artwork #artwork #artist #digital drawing #fan art #fandom art #camp camp Candy #cc Candy #Max's parents

[fallingforel]

Prompt 59 “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” as louis fluff please!

if it’s possible, where louis comforts y/n after finding her arguing with her now ex-bf? maybe admits his feelings to her as well?

a/n how are all of you my lovelies I actually love these types of asks as it gives me a background as to what you sort of want to go in it rather than give me free reign so I'd be more than happy to do it :) anywhooo on with the show also wanted to do a crossover between my fandoms so matty's the ex bf (because he's the best fit for the way the ex is I love him 75 fans pls dont come for me 🙏🙏)

PROMPT 59: "Don't you think you've done enough?"

words: 887 (sorry its kinda short)

"OH YOU WOULD JUST LOVE THAT WOULDN'T YOU?"

"LOVE WHAT MATTY?"

"OH COME ON Y/N ANYONE WOULD BE AS BLIND AS A BAT TO SEE IT. YOU BOTH SO CLEARLY WANT TO FUCK EACHOTHER LIKE RABBITS YOU WERE JUST WAITING FOR ME TO SEE IT WEREN'T YOU!" He remarks back to me, which earns a slap right on his cheek

"DONT YOU DARE SPEAK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT! HE'S MY BEST-" I'm interrupted by my hotel door swinging open the one I share with Louis my best mate, who just so happened to be the cause of the argument I'm in with my boyfriend right now who surprised me because his band was in the same city mine was in so he popped by only to find out I was sharing a room with him which sparked the jealousy in him to rise.

"yo. Y/n you coming to bar 21 tonight supposed to be so lively on a friday night." "OH FOR FUCKS SAKE HERE HE GOES AGAIN TRYING TO GET WITH MY GIRLFRIEND." "WOAH! mate I'm sorry if I ever gave you that impression. But she is just my bestfriend, always was always will be int that right y/n"

"see exactly! I said this Matty why can't you just see the truth?" "Don't you think you've done enough, Louis. You know what forget it, you and I" Matty remarks back gesturing between me and him "WERE DONE!" Is all he says before storming out and slamming the door shut. And I'm dropping to my knees against the wall which I was leaning against while the argument was taking place. Which makes Louis run over to catch me before gently placing me down on the floor and crouching down and pulling me into a hug while sobbing into his shoulder.

"Oh! y/n sweetheart. He doesn't deserve you he never has knew from the minute you two met at the meeting of him trying to sell the sound to us that he was a pretentious self absorbed prick. George was nice though" "You know what we need to do now." I quipped back after laughing and putting my head on his shoulder where he was now next to me on the wall "what?" "Put change your ticket on the album to piss him off it's not out yet." "Yeah he deserves it, specially after what he just did to you self righteous prick"

"haha! I love you lou" I say "HAHAH! bit too early for that y/n love don't ya think?" he jokes "I'm being dead serious, I don't know if matty helped me see it or what, but I think I have always loved you specially after bootcamp. but you got with eleanor before I could even admit my feelings to you and then you guys broke up, I know it's not out to the media and what not yet but Louis I seriously seriously love you."

"Oh what the fuck!" is all he says before he's doing a quick 180 turn and pulling me in for a long kiss hands cupped on my face, and pulling back sighing before pulling me in again but this time peppering kisses all over my face.

⋆｡°✩

1 month later

"Lou! Babe!" I shout out where he appears toothbrush in mouth popping his head round the bathroom door "what is it sweetheart is everything okay?" "yeah yeah just have you seen this" "what is it? two secs just brushing my teeth" he says speech muffled by the plastic object occupying his mouth

he soons pops back out the bathroom and I hand him my ipad which has the article loaded on the screen.

"what did I tell you, I knew it would piss him off"

"yeah you told me alright, here you are Matty texted you"

"alright pass it back"

Matty: low blow don't ya think?

Y/n: maybe but I knew it would piss ya off so you're welcome ;)

Matty: FUCK YOU Y/N and your boyfriend

Y/n: how'd ya know about that only close family and friends know

Matty: **attached image**

open attached image?

[YES] [NO]

louist91

liked by: bedfordanes75 and 1,067,569 others

louist91: @trumanblack stole your girl lol

fan1: eleanor and louis broke up??? DID HE CHEAT?? surely Y/n must know he cheated

fan2: @fan1 fuck eleanor and louis. what about y/n and matty did he know?

eleanorj92: @fan1 dont worry, he didn't cheat. we've been broken up for quite some time now I'm happy if he's happy :) congrats @y/n and @louist91

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Y/n: Lol at least its out now. wasn't even aware he did this. Bye matty enjoy the rest of your life and stop worrying about mine ;)

⋆｡°✩

"You're a menace you"

"Why? whatever have I done?" Louis quips back in a pretending not to know tone

"You know exactly what. Thought we were waiting until the break up articles were out?"

"we were but I thought I'd piss off mr self righteous even more than he already is"

"You're gonna get shit from management hope you know that"

"Anything if it means I get to parade my love for you around"

"I hate you, and your big romantic gestures"

"No. You love me and my big romantic gestures."

"You're right I do" I say leaning in to kiss him.

⋆｡°✩

end.

#louis tomlinson fluff #louis tomlinson x reader #louis tomlinson #one direction fluff #one direction x reader #one direction #matty healy #matty healy is a right proper dickhead in this so he kinda deserves it

[zv5x]

Yandere!Jesse Pinkman (Romantic centered headcanons)

hello breaking bad fandom warning ::: implied drug use , manipulation , toxic relationships , unhealthy mindsets , use of the yandere trope , violence , abuse , restraining , abduction and kidnapping , delusional outlooks and relationship paranoia

• It's an evil world Jesse navigates; filled with danger, drugs and dirty money. He's grown to live with himself for existing in it, however, but he himself cannot deny the optics of it all. He sees the wrong in the world whenever he looks at the purer side of it, and this side recently came to include you.

• You weren't like him by any means. Clean in all aspects, of course, and Jesse could tell that if he told you about his lifestyle and occupational choices you'd run the other direction. All things considered, that may be what drew him to you. You showed him kindness, you never rejected him even when he let the cracks in his morality show by mistake. Even when he'd come to you, clearly high on some sort of illegal substance, you bit your tongue and helped him inside. Whenever you felt he needed it, you held his face in your hands and told him that he's, that you're both, going to be alright. That's all Jesse ever wanted; reassurance.

• So much time you spent together, huddled close giggling about nothing or even just sitting near each other in silence. No matter what the situation was, he never felt that comforting aura he sensed from you waver, even if just for a fleeting moment. Before a relationship was even officially established, Jesse knew he loved you. You were so gentle, and in truth, he wanted nothing more than to stay like this forever. However, an internal battle rages on in Jesse's head. No matter how many times you comfort him, his body cannot seem to accept this simple feeling of happiness. To him, his actions and faults would be clear to you eventually, if they're not clear already. His heart will be slammed with ideas of you giving him one last face of disgust before leaving him alone again, until even something like your smile isn't enough to give him that same euphoric rush that it used to.

• Stage one, as it could be referred to, would involve Jesse needing much more consolation than what was usual. He'd go from something as subtle as a statement about the time the two of you spend together, or something as blunt as grabbing you by your shoulders and asking you if you love him like you say you do, Jesse's struggles with accepting your love come out in ways that scare you off more than they intend to.

• Overbearing behavior from a romantic partner is enough to drive anybody away, and thus begins stage two. Jesse sees you distancing yourself from him, and rather than equating his recent behaviors to your lack of interest, he equates it to you confirming his fears. You're disgusted by him, the real him, and if he doesn't act fast he's at complete risk of losing you.

• It was a complete accident. He didn't mean to knock you out, but he can't deny that the benifits that came with the event were pleasing to his scattered brain. It was supposed to be a normal chat, Jesse calling you over yet again to ask about your recent romantic hesitance. It was until he heard you say "that's what I wanted to speak with you about", that his stomach completely dropped. You were tired of waiting for things to get back to normal, you said. You loved him, but you needed him to get better before he can healthily love you. Jesse didn't listen to anything other than what his delusions wanted to hear. You were leaving him, you were leaving him; and in a single, swift movement, a lamp was being smashed against your head.

• At first, came fear; primal fear about his upcoming arrest. Checking your pulse every few seconds, placing his head against your chest to see if you're still breathing, his terror regarding the idea of you being deceased was making him go mad. Eventually, he knew for his safety and yours you needed to be restrained, and that was all she wrote.

• When you awoke, you were horrified to find your wrists and ankles were tied with a cheap rope, the material rubbing against your skin in ways that you knew would cause burns. Jesse seemed more than just happy to see you, and you could almost see the weight being lifted off his shoulders when your eyes first fluttered open. It wasn't as clear to him at first, but seeing you struggle against the ropes with no chance of succeeding made him realize; even if you wanted to, you couldn't leave him now. Not in the position you're in, at least. It made the guilt so much less potent, and he'd gladly grab you and hold you in his lap for hours at a time, rocking you and rambling on about his dealer adventures with who he referred to as "Mr. White"

• All those sweet hugs now felt bitter against your tongue as you sat, completely imprisoned in a way that only Jesse knew about. Finally, his mind accepted that tiny form of happiness you gave him, absolutely oblivious to the fact that his actions meant he'd probably never experience it again.

#breaking bad #breaking bad x reader #jesse pinkman #x reader #yandere #jesse pinkman x reader #jesse pinkman fanfiction #jesse pinkman imagine #male yandere #yandere x reader #yandere male #yandere x darling #Jesse Pinkman x reader #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #breaking bad imagines #jesse pinkman imagines #imagines #yandere boy #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere hcs