#god i love angst. i love sadness. i love it when pain means something and when hard times TEMPER a relationship instead of breaking it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rayraelleaizawa · 1 month

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There better be a part 2 of "they say something hurtful in an argument" where they realized they fucked up. I swear on God's name I will not stop crying if you don't.

P.s: very good writing keep it up! ❤️

Side Note: I didnt think that there would be so many requests on part 2, so thank you all for the requests and the support! It helps staying motivated to keep writing :) I hope you'll like this!

Making up after an argument

Part 1: They say something hurtful in an argument

Tags: hurt/comfort, slight angst, making up

Characters: Shanks, Benn Beckman, Dracule Mihawk

Shanks

He feels bad about what he said right after he saw that flash of hurt on your face, the sadness in your eyes and your quiet apology. Shanks immediately wanted to go after you when you left the room, but he was so wrung up in his blanket that he first had to untangle himself before he could go after you. He didnt care how he looked like, his shirt was all the way open, his pants were pulled up above his knee on one leg and on the other it hung down normally and his hair was a mess too. His shoes were completly forgotten somewhere in the room.

When he opened the door from his cabin with a rush and walked outside into the hallway, you were long gone. He instantly went looking for you, starting on deck and working all the way down.

His crewmembers, especially his closest friends, gave him weird looks and concerned stares, but he ignored all of their questions and just ran around looking for you. When he finally finds you, crying on the floor in a dark storage room, he felt a pang go through his heart.

He slowly came closer to you, not wanting to startle you, and started talking quietly.

"Hey, sweet cheeks" he said, sitting down next to you. "Is it alright if i touch you?" he said as he carefully laid his hand on your ellbow.

Seeing you in this state made him want to just wrap his arms around you, pull you close and kiss you all over and apologize to you a thousand times, but he held himself back. This wasnt what you needed right now.

When you didnt react to his touch, he laid his other hand on your shoulder. Shanks tried to catch your eyes, but your face was burried in your legs and your hands were shielding your head from him.

"Darling please look at me" he pleaded, and slowly you raised your head. He laid his other hand on your cheek and his warmth immediately comforted you, but you didnt want to give into his warmth. When Shanks saw your tear struck face and this unbearable sadness in your eyes, he mentally cursed himself for saying those reckless words.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I had no right to let my hangover frustration out on you. Please, forgive me. I love you, my sweet little dove" he tried to apologize.

"Am I really the reason?" you quietly asked, hiccuping from all the crying.

"What?" Shanks looked at you confused.

"Am I the reason why you keep drinking so much? Am I that insufferable?" you cried out, your body shaking at the thought.

"No, no! That wasnt what I meant, please, listen to me! You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I cant lose you. What I said was mean and a lie. Please believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me that I didnt mean those words."

Shanks was on the verge of crying himself. The thought that he made his partner feel so bad made him hate himself, swearing to never get this drunk again that he would hurt his lover. He was scared you'd leave him. He wanted to make you feel better, but that was a difficult task when he himself was the reason why you were crying and shaking on the floor. He carefully put his arms around you and placed you on his lap and pressed a small kiss to your forehead.

"It's okay, cry how much you want. Be angry at me, hit me, let all your feelings out on me, I deserve it. But please" he swallowed hard "please dont be sad. Please dont leave me. Not because of my stupid mouth."

You looked up at him when he said that. You noticed his pained face and the fear in his eyes. A fear that he messed up for good. You still felt hurt, but you knew Shanks would never toy with your feelings like that. He was serious about this apology.

You pressed your head in his chest and your tears started to dry out. After a time of silence and him gently stroking your back, you murmered a "I love you, you drunk idiot" into his chest. Shanks felt a stone fall from his heart as he chuckled a bit, leaned down and kissed you on the head. "I love you too, so much pumpkin. I'll never hurt you again. I'll stop drinking so much. Pirate promise"

Benn Beckman

Beckman sighed for the seemingly hundreth time. He still stood on deck, leaning against the railing as he thought about what he had said. He didnt meant to hurt you, but he knew giving you a bit space for now was the right thing. When you calmed down he planned on talking to you, but right now he also needed to sort his own thoughts.

He regretted his words instantly after they left his mouth but the damage was done. He sighed again. Usually he would have smoked at least half a package of cigarettes by now, but he just couldnt bring himself to touch one. Those stupid things were the reason why he made his partner sad. No, bullshit. He couldnt blame anyone else than himself for this. He fucked up.

With one last sigh he left his place at the railing and went underdeck to find you. He had a guess where you were and what you'd be doing, so he went straight to your cabin. He calmed himself with a deep breath in and breath out before he knocked on your door and then slowly opened it.

He wasnt suprised at what he saw. You were at your desk, working away on whatever was laying on your table. Benn carefully stepped into your room and closed the door. You didnt give him any sign that you acknowledged his presence. He walked over to you and waited if you'd say something.

Benn wasnt sure how to approach, so he looked at the papers on your desk. When he saw how shaky your handwriting was and how the ink mixed with waterdrops at some places he sighed again, feeling helpess as he made his own partner cry.

"Hey, I'm sorry about what I said. It wasnt right of me. I let out my stress on you eventho you were only worried about me. I'm deeply sorry."

Benn apologized, but you didnt respond nor did you look at him. He got restless, the uneasy feeling in him became stronger with every second you didnt say anything. You were just writing away on your papers.

"Buttercup, please. I am really sorry. I didnt want to hurt your feelings. You know I love you deeply."

There was a begging undertone in Benns voice by now.

"You dont smell like smoke" was the only answere he got, and hearing your voice immediately eased his anxious feelings a bit.

"I just...couldnt bring myself to touch them" he admitted.

You turned to look at him.

"Maybe i should be upset because of you more often then?"

He breathed out as he sensed that you werent that upset at him anymore. There was a joking undertone in your words, but it was clear that you still were hurt. He laid his hand on yours and leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours.

"Please no. I cant handle this. I cant handle seeing you upset. I'm sorry, princess, i'll really try my best to smoke less. Please, I want to make things right again, I-"

He stopped when you laid your hand on his cheek, softly caressing it.

"I know that you're sincer when you start rambling, Benn Beckman."

Dracule Mihawk

Mihawk knew he fucked up big time when he wanted to go look for you but couldnt find you. He noticed your belongings were gone, and then saw footprints leaving away from the castle. Your footprints.

It was starting to become night so he immediately ran after you, following your steps through the woods. He prayed the whole time that you were safe, that nothing happened to you, that you didnt get injured because of his inability to deal with his emotions the right way.

It started raining and it got darker and darker. He hoped he'll find you in time. The nights are cold and the animals in the woods can be even more dangerous at night. Mihawk ran even faster as raindrops hit him more frequently, and soon it was pouring down. His clothes were complety soaked, but he couldnt care less. All he could think of was to find you and bring you back to safety.

While Mihawk dashed throught the woods with experience, you on the other hand stumbled around without orientation. Now that the darkness started to rise, you couldnt see anything anymore. The trees were so close to each other that you couldnt orientate yourself on the stars, and barely any moonlight came through either.

You couldnt count anymore how often you tripped or fell down a slope. Your arms, legs and face were covered in small scratches as you continued to push trough. You werent even entirely sure where you were going, but all you knew was that you wanted to put as much distance in between you and Hawkeye as possible.

Tears still welled up at the thought of him. Those soft moments between you two all seemed like a lie. You shook your head to get rid of those thoughts and carried on. You kept on walking, but a root stood out of the ground and made you trip again. You fell and slithered down another small slope and just as you cursed to yourself you heard a noise.

You stayed quietly on the ground as you listened, not sure if you misheared. No, there were definetely steps. But they were too heavy to be from a human. And Mihawk wouldnt come either. So what was that?

Then you heard a sniffing sound and a roar. And that's when you also got your answer. It was a bear. You tried to stay as calm as possible, but soon you realized why the bear roared so much. You fell in between the bear and it's cup. Which was the worst thing you could do - get in between a mother bear and her child.

You slowly started to crawl backwards, but the mother bear roared again and you heard her coming closer. You tried to hold your breath as you saw her shadowy figure infront of you, and the moment the bear roared almost into your face, you tried to stand up and run away, but of course that didnt work with a bear in front of you. You fell on your butt and tried to ready yourself for the heavy impact with the bears paw which she had raised, when a tall figure was infront of you suddenly, holding a big sword you'd recognise everyhwere. Mihawk. He wielded his sword and cut the ground, and the bear mother and her cup both ran away.

When he turned to face you, you couldnt decipher what his facial expression meant. You sat there, on the ground, cuts all over you and wet from the rain as he suddenly quickly walked up to you. You wanted to stand up, to talk with him, but before you could even say his name he was on the ground with you, kissing you feverishly.

You were confused about what was going on suddenly, but Mihawk pressed you against him in a way you couldnt escape. Not that you really wanted to, cause you felt so many emotions in this one kiss. Fear, anger, sadness, relieve... it seemed like all of those pent up emotions he couldnt let out came through in this kiss.

After what seemed like eternity did he break the kiss, panting as he looked at you.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I'm so glad you're alive. I- I love you."

Was all he said and you looked at him in shock. It was a rare treat to hear those words from him, and you didnt expect to ever hear them again. But here he was, saving you in the middle of the night, telling you his feelings.

"I-I know that you're always worried when I leave. I just didnt know how to break it to you when i had to leave for so long. I not only see the disappointment and worry in your face, I also see fear and sadness whenever i leave. I just...I didnt know how I should tell you that I had to leave for months, fighting some idiots without seeing you all sad about the fact that I might not come back? That's why i left without saying anything. I know i hurt you, my love. I know I said something cruel back in the castle. But this castle is not my home when you arent in it. I'm sorry for hurting you. I didnt know how to express myself. Please, forgive me. I'll work on it."

You only stared in shock as Mihawk talked about his feelings so much. But then a small smile broke out on your lips.

"You're an idiot. But you're my idiot."

He didnt respond, he only blushed which you didnt see in the dark nights, but then he picked you up and started carrying you back to your home.

#akagami no shanks #benn beckman #red hair shanks #shanks #shanks x reader #beckman #benn beckman x reader #dracule mihawk #mihawk #mihawk x reader #one piece #one piece shanks #beckman x reader #hawkeye

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celesterayel · 4 months

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goodbyes & waiting | luke castellan

pairing : luke castellan x aphrodite!reader

request: happy holidays! could you write a luke x aphrodite reader? (maybe with angst?) <3

IN WHICH — there are the moments you shared and the sadness that came after.

"trust that you betrayed, confusing that still lingers. you took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers" - o.r.

w.c. 1k

warning(s) : lots and lots of angst ゜✭・.

✩ ‧₊˚ author's note this act hurt me so much in the feelings. I've never written something so angst, hope you enjoy it tho, love :)

your heart didn’t hurt, it burned.

you wished you could tear the wretched thing out and never feel anything again but it remained there, silently killing you from the inside out. in your palm lay a small pendant, not the prettiest thing by any means and resembling more like something you’d find at a second-hand store. the chain was thin and dull but at the center lay a small heart of twine and charms. your finger brushed over it, as if attempting to soothe your own heart, a manifestation of your pain literally.

god, you wanted to burn it to the ground. you wanted to scream so loudly and raw that you’d scream your vocal cords out of your throat. you wanted to scream at the gods–fuck them and fuck the fates–and most of all, at him.

had it meant nothing to him? this…whatever it was between you two? how could he have left you so brutally? without a second thought.

the pendant burned in your hand but you’d sooner kill yourself than part with it. it was the last thing you had of luke castellan. the boy who had loved you at your lowest, who once would have rather burned the world than let it hurt you. but he had hurt you and with the blow of godliness that ran in his blood.

you never did see it coming.

✩ ‧₊˚

you had first arrived at camp a year before percy jackson appeared. no sooner than you did, were you claimed by your mother, the goddess aphrodite. and unlike how the poets and half bloods describe it, children of aphrodite were not all inherently blessed with grand beauty. rather you were made to be beautiful in the way extraordinary things are: ingrained into the brain like a itch in a way so profound.

something about you entranced others, maybe the way you spoke or how you approached everyone like they were someone you had known since forever, you were just always a shining light for others to flock too. something so incredibly enchanting, gentle like the breeze of the camp waters.

luke was the first person to approach you after being claimed, the same boyish smile you’d later fall in love with on his face.

“the names luke castellan. yours?” he breathed out, something about the way he looked at you like you were every enchanting thing in the form of a person made your heart sing.

you knew that your heart would belong to him every moment after.

something in the way he looked at you like you were his forever after made you feel complete. like you weren’t so alone in this world made of monsters and man, godless beings of hunger and pain. and it seemed like he knew it too because there was a knowing in his eyes, a connection between you too that would hurt for every lifetime and the next.

you and luke only grew closer after and where you went he followed. where he strayed, you wandered. secrets moments shared beneath candlelights with his hands on your waist and yours bunched in his hair.

“your my forever, you know that right?” he’d whisper against your lips, trying to breathe you in like you’d disappear from his arms.

you’d just kiss him harder like his words could burn themselves to your lips. like he could burn himself into your very being and never leave you. one day you’d tell him he’d already had.

moments by the lakes where he’d hold you against him and you’d rest on his shoulder like it was the only place you’d ever need. trinkets you’d find when you’d go exploring with the littlest campers that you gifted to him and he kept like they were the grandest of treasures. times when he’d cry into your shoulder and you’d just hold him all the more closer like you could take the pain. the pendant he had spent months and late nights learning to craft from hand to give you. you planned out your future together late, late into the night when you couldn’t sleep: maybe someday he’d whisk you away to visit paris or to see the great big apple–only later you’d go without him.

holding you so tightly, he’d ask, “where would you want to go if we ever leave here?”

“anywhere you go.” the late nights near the lakes always made it seem like your cocoon, a safe haven from everything else. nights like these only made you fall in love with him more.

“yes, but if you could pick anywhere, where would you want me to take you, “ he huffed out, chuckling.

you grab his hands and press a kiss to his lips, tasting freedom and fire all in one breath. kissing luke was always electric, every want and lightning burn in one breath, one touch.

you leaned back, before contemplatingly saying, “i’ve always wanted to go to see the city lights in the big apple.”

“i’ll take you one day.” it was a promise. a future for you both.

“i’ll hold you to that.”

✩ ‧₊˚

but it never did happen.

✩ ‧₊˚

you remember the scream you felt bottled in your throat when you found out what had happened. the looks the others had given you when percy told you what luke had done. why he wasn't here with you guys. why he wasn’t here with you.

the betrayal hurt more than anything you had ever felt. parts of the pieces of the future you had made crumbling as quickly as you both had made it. the trinkets you had given him were gone just as he was.

as the months passed, here you stayed as the others left. hoping that by some miracle, your golden boy would return to you. that'd he'd come back ready to make good on his promise. he’d return to the lake where you had once built your future but he never did and the scream in your throat never left.

you promised me, luke.

footsteps approached you and there at the bottom of the hermes cabin stood percy jackson, “y/n, it’s time to go.”

he looked at the pendant in your hands before giving you a sad smile. he knew your history and your pain–once upon a time, luke had been his first real friend.

you wiped the tears that had fallen down your cheeks and slipped the necklace back onto your neck. you couldn’t bear to part with it, not even after all this time, after all these moments.

you looked behind you to the cabin one last time—breathing in the old memories and letting them go one last time—before you turned back around.

“let’s go.”

in the end, your golden boy had been far too much like his father and you were the one to be left waiting.

#luke x reader #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan #luke pjo #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan x you #charlie bushnell #pjo series #pjo fandom #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson show #pjo x you #percy jackon and the olympians #percy pjo #angst #too much angst #god damn #this act hurt me so bad

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r6s6r · 4 months

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constellations

cole walter x reader

warnings : angst, 18+, swearing, kinda long, mentions of anxiety and anxiety attacks.

i have been obsessing over MLWTWB recently so i am currently trying to make myself chill out so i am making this

——————————————————————

y/n had met alex at school and they instantly became bestfriends. they bonded over their love of video games and books

it went on like that for years. they were attached at the hip and she became like a part of the family

she was always around that they never even questions when she doesn’t go home some nights

of course they made sure she slept in a different room, which she always curled up on the recliner in the living room so danny could make his way down to watch his movies, careful not to wake her up. even if he did, she didn’t mind. she would be lulled back to sleep by the sound of the tv.

that was until jackie came to live with the walters

she didn’t mind jackie, she actually liked having a girl around but all of a sudden alex was in a trance over the olive skinned girl.

she felt pushed to the side.

forgotten.

———

she stood against the counter while alex stared at jackie, her heart broke a little bit.

she didn’t feel jealous, she hadn’t seen alex that way whatsoever. he was her bestfriend but he was distracted and that made y/ns mind spiral.

she had always had a problem with that. her mind never ending and always telling her she would be forgotten. she wasn’t good enough. she’s replaceable.

her mind then spiraled and she felt lightheaded. she needed air right then or she would burst into flames

she pushed herself from the counter and started towards the front door

“hey! you okay?” jackie smiled at her

“ye-yeah i’m okay, jackie. i’m just gonna go take a walk.” the tears were coming and she knew it

“do you want me to come with?” jackie offered warmly, almost like she knew the look on y/ns features

“oh no, jacks that’s okay”

“okay…” she looked at y/n to analyze her, jackie looked over to alex and saw him with his book to his face and then looked at y/n who was already out of the door and sighed.

y/n made her way down the steps as fast as she could.

her heart was pounding so loud she couldn’t hear anything going on around her. she just kept walking

she couldn’t think of anything else to do, her feet taking her to god knows where

until she ran right into him.

cole walter.

her coley poley.

she grabbed his arm and pushed herself up to keep upright, her whole body was shaking. she prayed he hadn’t noticed but cole knowing her like the back of his hand

he knew something was very wrong

“hey, doll. what’s going on?” he grabbed onto her to keep her steady.

“c-cole. i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to run into you. i’m sorry. i just needed some air. i’m sorry” the apologies just kept coming and the tears were on the brink of spilling

she could barely hear her own words over her speeding heart.

“hey. hey, it’s okay. talk to me, y/n/n” she looked at him, seeing his eyes for the first time since running into him

they looked helpless

she saw pain and sadness behind them

but the way the sun hit them just right, she saw hope. she saw a little cole running through the fields of the ranch with her, she saw life in his green orbs

they reminded her of the fields here in spring. the different patterns that swirled in the color of his eyes.

she took a deep breath and tried to tell him

but she choked and started to panic again.

he grabbed her face in his hands “look at me y/n/n” and she did

he talked to her slowly but nothing made it to her conscious brain. she just focused on the way he was taking breaths and the golden color his eyes had become

she tried to mimic his breaths, slow and deep.

“will you walk with me, coley poley?” she basically begged and he smiled and nodded at her.

so they did, they walked for what felt like forever before she finally calmed down enough to discuss why she had panicked.

“i just feel replaceable. since jackie got here alex has been, well, distant and we haven’t been hanging out as much. i’ve just been wandering around the house and the ranch with no real place to be anymore. without alex, where is my place here? is he gonna forget about me?” she looked at cole and his expression softened

“well, truly you are unforgettable. none of us would have you anywhere else. we all love you, you know that right, y/n/n? plus, she’s without. if you were my best friend, i would make sure you knew that.” he sighed looking off in the distance then back at her

“you would?” “i would”

“cmon, i wanna show you something” he stood up and offered his hand to her which she took and he brought her up with ease.

he turned his back to her “get on”

“what?” she questioned

“a princess does not get to walk to a secret location” he smiled at her over his shoulder and with a sighed she hoisted herself onto his back.

“giddy up cowboy.” she smiled at him

“yes ma’am.” he winked with a fake southern accent

and he began to make his way towards their destination.

when they made it, her eyes lit up. their destination was at the pond that had hundreds of flowers growing around it, it was truly beautiful around this time of year.

she jumped down and raced towards the pond, to a group of flowers and she laid right down. she closed her eyes and took in the scent of the air around her

cole made his way to her and smiled down at her.

“lay down with me coley poley”

“you gotta stop calling me that. the girls will never let me get close to them if you don’t”

“oh like you need anymore girls flocking your way. you basically have all of them worshipping the ground you walk on” she rolled her eyes and elbowed him as he sat down with a strained face

she knew it was hard for him since the incident with his leg.

she could never imagine how hard it must really be

“not all of them” he mumbled looking right at her

she made eye contact with him once again, his green eyes staring hard into her e/c ones.

she started counting the light freckles on his face and she began to speak “well i can’t be taken down by the cole effect. i am too strong” she smiled and flex her arms like she was the worlds strongest man

he laughed at her “i swear i’ll never hear the end of ‘the cole effect’ i don’t get it”

she scoffed at this “you don’t get it? okay let me try it on you. give you a little bit of the ‘y/n effect’ i would like to call it”

“okay give it to me y/l/n”

she peered out to the water where the sun was shining and leaned towards cole real close, close enough to smell her strawberry scented perfume and lotion.

she pointed to the water and gently touched his back “you see how the sun just shines on the water, coley poley?” she started, keeping her voice low and smooth

she rubbed a circle on his back which made cole shiver but she ignored it

“it shines right into your eyes, you know? makes them look so,”

he looked at her

“so green and gold. they sparkle, i could just look at them all day. they remind me of a meadow right as the sun is about to set”

her hand continued to rub his back

he looked like he had never been told this before

almost like it wasn’t the truth, y/n had just made it more seductive and sensual.

“it’s just like that, huh?” he whispered

“it’s just like that.” y/n pulled away but he grabbed her wrist quickly

“y/n”

“coley poley”

“y/n.”

“cole”

“did you mean it?” he leaned closer to her

“every word.” she smiled at him and leaned with him

“y/n!” she heard alex’s voice and the gallops of feet. her and coke scrambled up quickly and saw alex and jackie riding together

jackie must have said something to alex and he immediately came to find me, not noticing something was off until of course jackie said something.

jackie must of been good at reading people, y/n hated that. she hated being seen through like glass.

cole was standing behind her, pulling the leaves out of her hair and brushing off the back of her shirt.

alex looked at cole with a hard look. knowing what happened between them was rough but they were all still like family.

“what are you guys doing out here?” alex questioned them

“i just needed a walk and cole tagged along. i needed the company” y/n sneered back.

he was acting like she did something wrong

their problems weren’t hers, she needed someone by her side and alex obviously wasn’t gonna be there drooling over jackie.

“why didn’t you ask me?” his eyebrows furrowed when asking

“because you were busy, alex. come on, cole.”she answered perplexed, as if he didn’t know why.

she put her hand out towards cole and he took it. they started walking back to the ranch and whatever alex and jackie did wasn’t on her mind.

they made it back to the ranch

“thank you, coley poley. i really needed that” she smiled facing him

he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “of course, doll. anytime you need me, i’m only a shout away.”

y/n made her way into the house to see isaac and lee playing mortal kombat on the couch so she plopped herself in between them and called the next round

————

y/n had fallen asleep in the recliner but woke up to the house of the front door closing. she adjusted her nightgown and threw on a jacket by the front door and made her way outside. she saw the lights on in the barn where cole worked on his truck

she knew it had to have been him. she stood outside and enjoyed the breeze for a moment before walking out to the doors. her hand reached for the handle and she took a deep breath before opening it.

“coley poley?” she questioned as she closed the doors, she heard light music in the back.

she never pegged cole to listen to this type of music

lights are turned off

music is on

minds are unlocked

this feeling is amazing

“hey doll. did i wake you?”

“kind of but that’s okay. you weren’t loud, i’m just a light sleeper.”

he looked around the hood and started to lower it down before closing it completely

he was wearing a white tank top and his hair was messy around his forehead

she walked over to him and smiled at her “no scary monsters that need scaring away, right princess?”

“why no, of course not my knight. only you” she snickered at him

he feigned hurt “i could never hurt my princess. even if i am a monster”

“you’re no monster, cole walter.” she stepped closer to him

“what if i am? would you run?” he stepped even closer to her

“never.” she whispered, face to face with him.

when i hit the spot you know i hit it perfectly

and you taste so sweet

leave me wanting more soon

as we get out the sheets

he reached up and cupped her cheek his hand hands

he caressed her cheek with his thumb and she leaned more into it

she reached her hand up to his and held on to it, scared it would disappear if she didn’t.

she closed her eyes and sighed at the warmth of him.

he then pulled her to him and closed the gap between them.

he swayed them back and forth with the music.

lights are turned off

music is on

minds are unlocked

this feeling is amazing

hands on your waist

liquor is all that we taste

your freckles lead the way

i trace your constellations

she looked up at him and he was already looking at her big e/c eyes.

his eyes were that beautiful gold that they got at certain points when looking at her

all he could think was how ethereal she looked.

the dim light shining on her face, making her eyes sparkle and shine.

she lips plump and pink and her lashes looked long and wispy

she embodied natural beauty.

he didn’t feel himself leaning into her

but she was leaning in too.

he stopped himself thinking about how alex would really feel about this.

cole questioned himself for a second before y/n cupped his face to look at her and the look in her eyes threw every thought of doubt out of the window.

he grabbed her face and their lips finally met.

sparks had never been a thing for cole, he just did it to make other girls happy but this was different for him

it was for her too

now isaac had been her first kiss when they were young and of course Dylan, coles friend taking her virginity at a party after they had both had too much to drink. she never told anyone and she was sure he didn’t either, cole would’ve killed him.

this was different like it was what was missing from her life.

like she was waiting for the perfect moment and this was it.

cole knew this was different.

they pulled away and looked at each other for a split second before he started backing her against the front bumper of his truck

“cole..”

“y/n” he whispered, putting his forehead against hers.

before their lips met once again. more urgency behind this one

her wraps wrapped in the hair at the base of his neck and his hands made her way to her neck

her skin felt like it was on fire

he lifted her to wrap around his waist making her gasp as his lips trailed down her neck and to her collarbone.

she pulled at his hair to bring his lips back to hers and he groaned at the tug of his hair.

alex is gonna be so mad if he ever finds out what happened in the barn that night

i trace your constellations

#Spotify #cole walter #cole walter x reader #my life with the walter boys #mlwtwb #alex walter #the walters #isaac walter #nathan walter #oneshot #constellations #my music #gif

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cvspians · 5 months

Text

the great war | aemond targaryen (part two)

Haven't read part 1? click here

Summary: The night Aemond Targaryen visits Storm's End, he loses everything.

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Niece!Reader

Warnings: Show spoilers, cursing, a fun family dinner, the word bastard again, Rhaenyra getting called a misogynistic word, reader has beef with Aegon, Aemond being mean, reader being a protective older sister, angsty angst, mentions of blood, and death

Word Count: 7.8k words.

Notes: I'm so glad you guys loved part 1! To be honest, I was so nervous to publish the first part because I'm a person who is never satisfied with my writing due to my perfectionist tendencies. This is longer than part 1, I got a bit carried away and didn't want to publish a third part. This is sad, you all know what's coming. Hopefully, I did the ending justice, I'm literally already hating it. Also sorry for doing y'all like that LMAO. This hasn't been proofread so excuse any mistakes! I tagged those who asked me in the comments!

Comments, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! I hope you guys enjoy!

Aemond loved you, he really did, but he also hated your brothers.

He tried to keep his cool for your sake, faking smiles that hurt his cheeks and uttering kind words that left a bad taste in his mouth on the rare occasion that your family was around.

But Lucerys had taken something from him that could never be replaced.

His injury might've healed, the scars no longer red and tender, but the pain was still there. Fresh and raw, always gnawing away at his heart and sanity. He remembers the stares he received after the incident – he could still feel the pity from those around the castle, the whispers from Lords who visited on business, and the poorly masked looks of disgust from their wives and daughters.

Aemond hated it. He hated how everyone seemed to think he was a fragile and unfortunate thing just because he had lost an eye. He had the biggest dragon in all of Westeros for God's sake!

So as time passed he learned to build walls around himself for protection. He no longer hid behind his mother's skirts nor did he cower away in fear. He began to spend his time in the training yard with Ser Criston.

At first, it was hard. His coordination wasn't the same due to his lost eye but Aemond didn't give up. He trained hard, harder than his brother who preferred to spend his time with his nose buried between the thighs of whores and bottles of wine.

Soon enough Aemond was no longer the boy who got pushed around. He wore his eyepatch with pride, glaring and proving those who underestimated him wrong.

When he married you, he was worried you would not only hate him but also find him disgusting or at least be scared of him. But you proved him wrong. You told him how beautiful he was, kissed the scars around his eye, and showered him with love.

That was all it took for his walls to come crumbling down, allowing you to worm your way inside and cement your claim.

So yes, Aemond did love you but that wasn't enough to forgive your brothers for what they did to him.

You were seated next to him at the dinner table, chatting with Helaena and occasionally giggling at the poorly made jokes your brother Luke threw your way. He loved the sound of your laugh and could listen to it on repeat for hours, but at that very moment, he wanted nothing more than to bang his head against the table.

He refrained from doing so knowing you would scold him for it and his mother would glare until she became cross-eyed.

Viserys had called for a family dinner the same night after the shitshow that was the presentation. Aemond had promised that no one would be angry with you if you skipped it but you were feeling much better.

Besides, you yearned to finally have dinner with both sides of your family.

You couldn't remember the last time something like this happened.

Your grandfather had held a toast, congratulating your siblings for their betrothals before he turned to you and Aemond, a smile on his gravely ill face.

"And to my only granddaughter. I have had the pleasure of watching you turn from a little girl to a woman grown. You remind me so much of your mother," Rhaenyra sniffed at this, a smile on her face as she looked between you and her father. You had a smile on your own face, cheeks warm due to the attention you were receiving. Aemond set a hand on your thigh, giving it a small squeeze as he fought down a smile.

"It saddens my heart that Aemma isn't here to witness this. She would've loved her grandchildren" The side of your table tensed a bit at the mention of your late grandmother and you felt Otto's heated gaze on the side of your face which you ignored.

Daemon snorted at the expression Alicent was attempting to shield.

Viserys was none the wiser as he continued his speech." I hope you and Aemond live a long life full of love and children" He finished addressing you with a breathless chuckle and you softly thanked him with a bow of your head.

The king slowly reached up and took off the mask, revealing his empty eye socket and disfigured cheek.

You gulped, eyes averting from his face.

It wasn't a pleasant sight like Aemond's. The skin on the right side of your grandfather's face was rotting off, leaving a gaping hole in its wake. If you squint hard enough from your seat you would be able to see the inside of his mouth.

"Let us no longer hold ill feelings in our hearts. The crown cannot stand strong if the House of the Dragon remains divided" He wheezed out, chest heaving as he attempted to catch his breath. "But set aside your grievances. If not for the sake of the crown... then for the sake of this old man who loves you all so dearly"

I wish, you thought. The divide between your families ran deep, not even yours and Aemond's marriage could mend it.

No one spoke for a bit after he was finished. Until your mother stood, cup raised.

"I wish to raise my cup to Her Grace, the Queen. I love my father. But I must admit that no one has stood more loyally by his side than his good wife" Alicent was slightly taken aback as she stared up at your mother with an unreadable expression.

You knew of their history, your mother had told you. Best friends who fell off each other's graces after Alicent married your grandfather and became Queen, filling your mother with a feeling of betrayal.

You couldn't even attempt to imagine how that would feel.

"She has tended to him with unfailing devotion, love, and honor. And for that, she has my gratitude and my apology" Rhaenyra finished and sat back down. Everyone stared at the Queen expectantly, waiting for her response.

"Your graciousness moves me deeply, Princess" Alicent finally said, eyes darting around the room before falling back to your mother who was now looking at her with an unreadable expression of her own. "We are both mothers and we love our children. We have more in common than we sometimes allow" The Queen continued before standing up, her chair dragging back a bit at the force.

"I raise my cup to you and to your house. You will make a fine queen"

You noticed your mother trying to hide her smile as you made a move to grab your cup just as everyone else did. You took a sip of the sweet wine and softly hummed in contentment as the warm after-effects of the alcohol kicked in.

Aemond did the same with his free hand as his other was still resting on your thigh. He gave it another squeeze and you turned your attention to him, confusion written on your features as you wondered if he had something to say to you.

"I love you," He whispered loud enough for you to hear and you couldn't help but break out in a grin. "I love you too" You answered, quickly leaning forward and planting a kiss on his cheek.

His face grew hot at the action and he quickly scanned the table to see if anyone was looking but thankfully everyone had returned to their separate conversations. His attention turned back to you but you had already turned to listen to Helaena who was happily informing you about the new bugs she had found while out in the yard earlier.

You were nodding along, demonstrating you were listening, when your gaze fell on Aegon who was standing in between Jace and Baela, whispering something that was clearly no good considering Jace's jaw clenched in response.

On instinct, you turned to look at Aemond, eyes pleading for him to do something but your twin brother was faster. Jace's fists slammed on the table, startling everyone else from their conversations.

You could see he was trying to reign in his anger. Next, you felt Aemond stand and you turned to look up at him, eyes wide as he stared at your brother with a look you didn't like.

It's as if he were challenging him, daring him to do whatever it was he was thinking.

Jacaerys was staring right back at him with the same expression but when he met your eyes – pleading – he settled on softly punching Aegon's shoulder in an attempt to appear playful before grabbing his cup and raising it in the air.

"To Prince Aegon and Prince Aemond. We have not seen each other in years, but I have fond memories of our shared youth. And as men, as his eyes roamed, hope we may yet be friends and allies" Jace toasted, his smile forced as he turned to look at everyone at the table, observing him quietly.

Aemond was still standing, watching him like a hawk. You tried your best to discreetly reach up and grab his hand, tugging at it so he would sit but he ignored it.

"And you Uncle," Your brother was back to staring at your husband, cup pointed in his direction this time. "You have been married to my sweet little sister," You softly groaned. "You're older by an hour!" You interrupted with a whine and Jace stuck his tongue out in retaliation.

This earned a few chuckles from your family and weak grandfather. The Greens, except Helena who grinned, didn't budge.

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," Jace rolled his eyes playfully and you huffed, pout still on your lips. "You have been married to my twin, the person I shared a womb with and came into this world with, the person I have had the pleasure of annoying for eighteen years straight – for over a year now. I see how happy you have made her and for that, I sincerely thank you" Jace's eyes left Aemond's stoic frame before turning to you, a genuine smile on his lips this time.

Your pout was replaced with a smile of your own, heart fluttering at your brother's words. Aemond remained silent, gaze still calculating before he tilted his head in acknowledgment toward Jacaerys.

"To you and your family's good health, dear uncles" Jace finished before taking a swing from his cup. He delivered a final punch to Aegon's shoulder before sitting back down.

You could practically see the annoyance rolling off of your eldest uncle as he accepted your brother's words, "To you as well"

Aemond finally took his seat and you turned to give him a pointed look, which he tried his best to ignore, suddenly interested in the cutlery laid in front of him.

"I would like to toast to Baela and Rhaena!" Helaena announced, abruptly standing up with a cup in her hand as well. All eyes were drawn to her, waiting to see where this was going. "They'll be married soon. It isn't so bad. Mostly he just ignores you..." You frowned at her words, saddened by her fate. "Except sometimes when he's drunk" She innocently added, earning a cackle from your stepfather from the other end of the table.

Aegon looked like he wanted to bury himself alive and this caused you to stifle a laugh of your own. Helaena finally sat down with a dopey smile and you cautiously reached out to hold her hand, knowing she was wary of human touch. She accepted it much to your relief.

"That was great, Hel" You praised and she beamed in response. You heard Aemond shift next to you but you ignored him, opting to keep focusing on your sister-in-law who began taking sips from her cup.

"Let us have some music!" Viserys weakly announced and soon the room was filled with a soft tune.

You hadn't even realized Jacaerys was heading your way until you felt his presence next to you. You looked up at him and noticed his outstretched hand which was meant for Helaena. He gave you an apologetic smile but you shrugged, encouraging Helaena to accept. She rarely had fun and you wanted her to experience it, even if it was just for a few minutes.

She was surprised but nonetheless accepted, giving you one last smile before standing and following your brother to the dance floor.

Aegon stared at the two before turning to look at Aemond who was already looking back at him, the same look he had earlier on his face. You noticed this and scoffed, now annoyed with your husband’s behavior.

You understood Aemond’s feelings. They were valid and you never made him feel like he was being dramatic about it. You loved your brothers and would die for them, but you knew their actions all those years ago had terrible consequences – consequences that Aemond had to live with for the rest of his life. He was the one who had to wake up and see it on his face every time he looked at himself in the mirror.

But in that moment you just wanted Aemond to forgive, at least for the evening – for you.

You turned to look at your brother and aunt as they jumped around, falling back into their childish antics as they danced to the music. The sight warmed your heart and a part of you itched to join them. Your grandfather had been escorted back to his room during their dance, the pain and exhaustion finally catching up to him.

You were so focused that you hadn’t seen the roasted pig being sat in front of your husband nor had you seen the smirk your little brother Lucerys had thrown his way, finally snapping the little restrain Aemond had.

You jumped as he slammed his fists on the table and once again the conversations around the table ceased. The entire room stilled as they watched Aemond with wary eyes. You were looking at him with concern, not quite understanding what set him off.

“Final tribute,” He announced, cup in the air. His eyes were bored into Lucerys who was staring back blankly. “To the health of my nephews: Jace, Luke, and Joffrey” He eyed the first two, the third not being present. He hadn’t addressed you but you began to grow uncomfortable in your seat. “Each of them handsome, wise…” Aemond trailed off as he tried to fight off the smirk threatening to grow on his lips. You closed your eyes, bracing yourself for what was coming next.

“Strong”

The temperature in the room seemed to drop. Your eyes snapped open as goosebumps broke out on your arms. Your heart rate had picked up as anger and irritation clouded your senses.

“Aemond,” Alicent warned.

You were clutching the material of your dress with a tight grip, willing yourself to calm down. Your husband ignored his mother’s warning and continued.

“Come! Let us drain our cups to these three…” He was savoring the words on his tongue. Enjoying the looks of anger that both of your brothers were throwing at him. He had been so caught up in his chase of revenge that he didn’t notice the state he was in. “Strong boys”

It was your turn to abruptly stand, cheeks on fire. The sound of your chair tilting backward and hitting the floor filled the room and all eyes landed on you. You were shaking, frustrated tears clouded your vision and a scowl decorated your lips. Aemond was taken aback, not quite seeing you like this. You never got angry.

You were looking at him with an expression that filled him with nothing but dread.

“I dare you to say that again” Jacaerys called out, gaining Aemond’s attention again. He hesitated for a second, debating whether he should stop for your sake but he was far too deep now.

"Why? 'Twas only a compliment” He feigned confusion as he stepped away from his seat. “Do you not think yourself Strong?” Aemond asked as Jacaerys stalked toward him, fists clenched at his sides. Lucerys slammed his palms on the table and stood up, running to his older brother’s defense.

The sound of fist meeting skin filled your ears and you watched as Aemond’s head snapped to the side at the impact of your brother’s punch. You then caught sight of Aegon grabbing Lucerys and slamming his head on the table.

Red filled your vision at the sight of Aegon manhandling your baby brother and before you could even register what you were doing, you had a fistful of his silver hair between your fingers, pulling back with all the strength you had. Aegon’s shouts of pain filled your ears but you didn’t let up until he had released Lucerys and you kept pulling backward.

You didn’t care if it was unlady like or disrespectful. Your protective instincts had kicked in the moment he laid hands on your Lucerys.

The adults were up on their feet, shouting at you all to stop. Guards even intervened, holding your twin back as he made a move to reach Aemond again.

You hadn’t even realized you were screaming until both of your sisters had pried you off of your uncle. You were red to the face, thrashing around your sisters’ arms as you attempted to reach Aegon again, who was now cursing and rubbing at the sore spots on his scalp.

You stopped fighting against the hands holding you back as the adrenaline coursing through your bloodstream began to go down. You were breathing heavily, eyes still wild with anger. You heard your mother order your siblings to return to their chambers but you were now staring at Aemond who was staring right back.

A few beats of silence passed as everyone watched the interaction between you two, trying to figure out if they needed to step in, but in the end, you only frowned before storming out of the room.

You hadn't stepped foot in your shared chambers that night.

You were angry at Aemond and his childish behavior and refused to sleep in the same bed until you cooled off. You didn’t want to say something you would regret in the heat of the moment.

So, you had gotten Laenor from the nursery and made your way to the other side of the castle where your family was currently residing. You found refuge with Baela and Rhaena, who welcomed you with open arms. Rhaena had taken the baby, claiming she hadn’t had her aunt-nephew-bonding moment yet, and you let her with a tired sigh.

Baela gave you a sympathetic look and embraced you before pulling you toward her bed. You noticed the half-full trunks a few feet from their beds and knew it meant they would be leaving tomorrow. You were sad, blaming tonight’s events for their rushed departure. You knew your mother would want to leave as soon as possible and you couldn’t blame her.

At that moment you wanted to go with them, escape the bleak walls of the castle, and return to Dragonstone. But you knew you couldn’t.

Instead, you watched as Rhaena ordered a servant to bring a crib to the room and you accepted the nightgown Baela was presenting to you.

Aemond knew he had messed up.

The look you had given him told him everything. You had never looked at him that way before and it pained him to know that he was the reason for it.

You had stormed out without a single word.

Just a frown on your soft plump lips.

He had stood there after you left, finally realizing what he had done when he caught his uncle, your stepfather, looking at him like he was his next prey.

He quickly averted his gaze and walked out as well, already planning his apology inside his head.

When he reached your shared chambers, he realized none of the guards were on watch which confused him. He quickly braced himself for what was to come but as he stepped in, he was met with silence.

Everything was exactly the same way you both left it before heading to dinner earlier.

Next, he walked toward the nursery, hoping to find you there with your son. But when he arrived he only found the nannies with his niece and nephew.

They had stood and bowed when they spotted him. “Princess [Y/N] came not long ago and took Prince Laenor with her” The oldest of the two nannies informed him nervously, eyes trained on his shoes.

He nodded and left without a word, making his way back to your shared chambers.

He knew right then and there that you were angry at him.

The only reason why he didn’t assume the worst and tore the castle upside down was because he knew you. He knew you wouldn't leave him. Sure, you were angry now but you would forgive him because you loved him and he loved you. He knew you were with your siblings right now, attempting to cool off and get your mind off of things.

That night, Aemond didn’t sleep.

The bed felt empty despite him lying on it, the sheets icy cold. Not even the roaring fire going on at the fireplace was enough to bring him warmth. He had gotten used to sleeping with you, the body heat you radiated was comforting to him. It was too quiet as well. The small breaths you took as you peacefully slept and Laenor's snuffles were what usually lulled him to sleep.

He lay there for hours, staring up at the ceiling as the night’s events replayed in his mind. It felt like an eternity before the sun began making its way back up in the sky and he found the strength to get up.

He needed to find you.

That morning, before the sun even fully rose, you had bid your family goodbye with tears. Your mother had cried as well, holding you tight and kissing your temple, promising she would visit as soon as your sister was born. Your brothers pulled you into a hug themselves, apologizing for last night but you waved it off, telling them that they had done nothing wrong.

Your stepfather, who was holding a swaddled Laenor, leaned down to press a kiss on the top of your head before handing you your baby back. Baela and Laena had promised to write as soon as they arrived. You bid your younger brothers goodbye with kisses to their cheeks and Joffrey had tried pushing you away claiming he was a big boy now. You had laughed and ruffled his hair, earning points from him.

You watched as they piled into the awaiting carriage, waving goodbye one last time until it set off and disappeared into the distance.

You sighed as the silence settled, the guards on watch standing quietly a few feet from you.

You had to face Aemond now, no longer having a safe place to escape to. Laenor wiggled and cooed in your arms and you looked down at him with a small smile.

“Let’s go find your father, byka zaldrīzes” (little dragon)

You found him just as he was making his way out of your shared chambers without Laenor. You had dropped him off at the nursery with your trusted nanny, not wanting him around on whatever was going to transpire between you and your husband. Aemond’s hair was messy and unkempt, the dark bags under his eyes told you he hadn’t slept.

He froze once he saw you, eye widening since he hadn’t expected to find you that fast. You ignored him as you passed him, walking into the room without a word. He wordlessly followed after you like a puppy trailing after his owner.

Your back was facing him as he entered and you busied yourself with finally removing the jewelry you hadn’t bothered taking off last night.

A tense silence permeated the room as you both waited for the other to speak first. You refused to break it, your stubbornness kicking in.

“I’m sorry,” You almost didn’t hear it since he had whispered it but you did.

He sounded like a wounded child, a contrast to the bold and confident man you grew to love.

He waited after he said it, watching you as you continued to remove your jewelry quietly. He took a cautious step forward but immediately stopped when he saw you freeze.

His heart ached at the sight.

“I’m sorry issa jorrāelagon, I shouldn’t have instigated a fight with your brothers. B-but I was just so angry” He began to explain, tone filled with desperation. Begging you to look at him.

Aemond Targaryen never begged but for you, he would carve his heart from his chest if you asked.

“You didn’t see the way Lucerys smirked when the pig was placed in front of me, mocking me” He explained, a dark look cast over his expression as he thought back to the way your younger brother had smirked at him.

You took a breath and finally turned to look at him, eyes glossed over.

“You called me a bastard, Aemond,” You sounded defeated.

He hadn’t said the word exactly but he had hinted at it by calling your brothers Strong. Aemond’s expression fell at your words and he finally walked toward you, grabbing your hands in his.

“N-no” He stuttered out, head shaking frantically.

“Yes,” You responded and he gripped your hands tighter.

“No!” He practically shouted, startling you at the sudden volume. His gaze softened as he caught it and he took a deep breath, willing to calm his erratic heart down. “My speech wasn’t meant for you” Aemond explained, eye searching yours for understanding.

You blinked the tears away and ripped your hands from his. “No, but you insinuated it!” You moved away as he attempted to reach you again. “I’m Jacaerys’ twin sister for God’s sake! Look at me!” You gripped a fistful of your long brown locks and held it up, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks as the dam broke.

Aemond felt helpless as he watched you try to hold back your cries. This had been eating at you all night after dinner and his heart broke at the realization he was the reason for it.

“I’m sorry,” He apologized, voice thick with emotion. He felt like crying himself as he made his way to you and wrapped his arms around you. You tried to push him away but he only held on tighter, still whispering apologies into your hair as you finally let your cries out.

After a few more attempts to push him again and his grip not relenting, you gave up and into his hold. You both remained like that for what seemed hours, you crying and Aemond apologizing.

You forgave him in the end, the love you had for him was too great.

You didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. You noticed the subtle shift inside the castle’s mood but didn’t dwell much on it – used to it by now. You had stirred awake to a quick kiss being pressed on your cheek and opened your bleary eyes to see Aemond walking out of the room.

Your trusted maid, Ella, had entered a few minutes after with a warm smile, asking if you wanted to break fast in your room. You nodded and stood up, making your way to the crib where a still-sleeping Laenor lay.

You let him be, knowing he needed his rest. Ella came back soon and served you your breakfast which you ate slowly before asking her to bring a bath.

An hour later and still no sign of Aemond, you assumed he had gone to train. You finished clipping the last earring into your ear and made a move to open your door, hoping to ask one of the guards to call one of the nannies.

But the door didn't budge. You pulled harder in confusion before you realized it had been locked from the outside. Panic settled into your stomach and you began to pound on the door, shouting for anyone who could hear you. No one came though, not even Ella.

Laenor had begun to cry now, startled by the ruckus you had just caused. You felt bad but rushed toward the window, pulling it open and looking down in hopes of spotting anyone and calling for help.

You saw the crowd of Lords and their wives being rushed through the halls and even more panic filled you.

You picked a still crying Laenor up and sat on the edge of your bed, rocking him back and forth to try and calm him. Your mind began to race as you tried to figure out what was possibly happening. You thought of your ill grandfather and your heart dropped.

Something was happening and it wasn’t good.

You didn’t see Aemond that day. In fact, you hadn’t seen anyone at all.

You had heard Ella’s voice from the other side of the door twice, arguing with the morning and night guards guarding your chambers that she was your trusted maid and needed to serve you.

They all ignored and sent her away both times, only opening the door to settle the tray full of your lunch and dinner on the ground.

You didn’t bother fighting your way out. You had Laenor to think about, who you had rocked back to sleep after you breastfed him.

You paced around the room for hours and looked out the window various times to try and catch a glimpse of whatever was going on, but nothing told you of the specifics occurring.

You didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep until Aemond woke you up the next day, a grave expression on his face.

You practically jumped out of your skin as he touched your cheek, slumber no longer in you.

“What’s going on?” You cut straight to the point, not in the mood for lies. Aemond sighed and pulled the bottom of his lips between his teeth. “Don’t you dare lie to me, Aemond” You practically hissed, catching him off-guard.

You were tired. You had been locked inside of that room for an entire day. Being treated like a prisoner and not like the princess you were.

“My father is dead,” He finally revealed and your breath hitched. You had assumed so but hearing the words out loud just made it more real. “He wished for Aegon to ascend him” He added and you froze.

No.

“No,” You blurted out, eyes wide.

“No!” You denied, pushing him away when he tried to reach you. “My Mother, Rhaenyra Targaryen, is the true heir of the iron throne. My grandfather willed it so!” You shouted, momentarily forgetting Laenor was still sleeping a few feet away.

Thankfully he didn’t wake.

Aemond scoffed at your words. “It was my father’s last wish before he died, my mother said so”

You laughed, dry and humorless. “She’s a liar! Don’t you see that?” You wanted to rip your hair out and scream at him until he woke up from whatever spell his mother had him under. You knew Alicent didn’t like your mother but you never expected her to go this far. No doubt, Otto was behind this as well.

Your words didn’t sit right with Aemond whose expression had turned dark. “Don’t you dare call my mother a liar! My father simply realized on his deathbed that Aegon was more fit to rule than that whore of my half-sister!”

You recoiled at his words, feeling like he had just slapped you.

“Get out!” You screamed, not caring if you woke the entire castle. Aemond finally realized what he had said and froze. You knew he was going to apologize but you didn’t want to hear it. “Get out, Aemond! I don’t want to see your face!”

Laenor had stirred awake this time, sniffing and small lips trembling as he tried to hold his cries back.

Realizing there was no coming back from this, Aemond did as you asked. He stood by the door before he left, his eye boring into your angry ones.

“Aegon is being crowned later on today. My mother and grandfather insisted you would be there to show unity,” You scoffed at this, cursing at him. He ignored it as he continued. “I’ll tell them you aren’t feeling well. But heed my advice, Wife, you will be made to choose where your loyalties lie. I hope you’re smart enough to choose the right side”

It was a warning.

With that, he left the room, closing the door behind him.

You screamed in frustration, throwing the nearest thing near you — a pillow — toward the door.

You needed to escape.

Salvation came an hour later in the form of your grandmother, Rhaenys, who you had no idea was still in the castle.

She had rushed into your room decked in a cloak, followed by Ser Erryk, face with terribly concealed panic.

“We have to go child,” She urged. You were holding Laenor, who was now calm and babbling up at you. You immediately reached her side and handed her your son. She gave you a confused look which you returned with a weak smile.

“Take him, grandma,” You assured, lip trembling. “I can’t go just yet. I know you will keep him safe until he reaches my mother” You were trying to hold back your tears, eyes never leaving your sweet boy.

Rhaenys shook her head, not quite understanding why you couldn’t go with her. “No, I cannot leave you. Rhaenyra will never forgive me”

You took a deep breath and wiped your wet eyes before cooling your expression. “Tell mother I will reunite with her soon. I still have something I must do”

Rhaenys wanted to argue but Ser Erryk interrupted with a regretful look, informing them that they needed to leave. You nodded to your grandmother, letting her know that it was okay. Finally, she relented and leaned in to press a kiss on your forehead.

She wasn’t the most affectionate person in your youth, you knew she had a hard time accepting you and your brothers as hers unlike her son. But you also knew she cared for you in her own way.

You watched as she finally slipped away, your baby safely tucked in her arms under her cloak.

“I’ll see you soon,” You faintly whispered as the door to your chambers finally closed.

The next few days were a blur. You had heard the whispers from the servants who were allowed to tend to you that Princess Rhaenys and her dragon, the Red Queen, had crashed Aegon’s ceremony toward the end. You had smiled, knowing Laenor was finally safe and out of reach from Aemond’s psychotic family.

No one had asked you where the babe went, the servants that tended to you assumed he was in the nursery and the nannies in the nursery assumed he was with you.

You knew you should’ve left with your grandmother when you had the chance, but you wanted to see Aemond one last time. Ask him to reconsider. A part of you knew you were being foolish. Your husband was loyal to his family, especially his mother. But the other part of you held hope that he would finally wake up and choose you.

Aemond didn’t show up after your last encounter so you had begun to plan your escape. You remembered the stories your mother told you, of the secret passageways hidden inside the royal rooms. You hoped your chambers had them.

Before you could even begin to check, Ella had rushed in, cheeks red and stained with tears. You didn’t know how she got through the guards, she hadn’t been allowed to serve you in what you think was fear from the Greens.

She was your most trusted maid, appointed to you by your mother. She was telling you something in a panic but you couldn’t understand her, the words all jumbled together.

“Ella! Breathe” You grabbed her by the shoulders and watched as she stopped and hiccuped. She took a breath before bursting into more tears.

“Prince Lucerys has been killed,”

Your heart stopped.

“Prince Aemond was the one who killed him”

Your whole world crumbled.

You had never cried as much as you were doing right now.

You were on the ground, your body too weak to stand. Your wails and screams of sorrow filled the entire floor even with the door closed. Ella had been standing a few feet away from you, trying to keep her own cries down.

You couldn’t breathe.

You couldn’t think.

Lucerys. Lucerys. Lucerys.

Oh, my sweet baby brother Luke.

Your heart physically hurt and you began pounding on your chest, hoping the feeling would go away. Ella was calling your name, telling you to stop but you couldn’t hear her as your cries got louder and louder.

Aemond had killed Lucerys.

Your husband had murdered your brother.

Aemond was now a kinslayer.

A part of you died that night. You loved your brothers. You didn’t always agree with the things they did but they were still your brothers. Your blood.

You needed to leave.

You needed to get out.

Out. Out. Out.

You abruptly stopped your cries, standing wobbly to your feet. Ella jumped in surprise at your sudden change in mood. She watched as you began to frantically pull curtains away, pushing at walls and bookcases. She called your name but you ignored her until you finally found what you were looking for.

It was on the wall on the farther side of the room, near the closet. A quiet click filled your ears and you pushed hard before the door gave way and a dark cold hallway filled your line of sight. Ella gasped and you finally turned to look at her.

“We have to go,” You choked out before entering it. You were barefoot but you didn’t care. You needed to get away before anyone came to check on you – before Aemond came.

You knew your loud cries alerted someone and soon enough the Queen or Otto would come knocking.

Ella nodded and quickly grabbed a pair of your shoes before following after you.

You weren’t sure where you were heading but you followed the stairs, Ella behind you, before you finally reached the outside of the castle.

There, you stood for a few seconds contemplating what to do next as she tried to coax you to put your shoes on.

Your face was red and swollen. The urge to cry and scream until your voice gave out was still there but you needed to get out of King's Landing first.

“Your dragon!” Your maid suggested and a lightbulb went off in your head.

Nyx.

You both then rushed off in the direction of the dragon pit, trying your best to not bump into the few civilians walking about. The entrance of the pit wasn’t heavily guarded and you mentally thanked the gods before you rushed inside.

The guards that were around immediately spotted you and made a move to stop you but you sidestepped them, Ella jumping in to hold them back. “Go! I’ll hold them off!” She had shouted behind you and your heart clenched at the thought of leaving her. But you knew you couldn’t help her without your dragon so you ran as fast as you could down the slope and into the cave where your boy was in.

You had immediately spotted him when you stepped inside. He was a gorgeous black dragon, hence the name you had given him. He was about Vermax’s size, having hatched at the same time Jace’s dragon did. Nyx had been sleeping but woke up in your presence. Chirps of happiness escaped him as he stood, stalking toward you with his wide yellow eyes on your form. You teared up, having missed him.

You rarely rode him after giving birth to Laenor and considering you had been locked up for the last few days, you hadn’t had the chance to see him.

You reached up to caress his snout and he sniffed you, chest rumbling with a growl once he smelled the sadness on you. He was becoming angry and protective over his rider and you quickly shushed him.

“We have to go, boy, there’s no time” You spoke to him in High Valyrian, reaching to remove the chains from him. He understood and lowered himself so you could climb on the saddle on his back.

Soon he was walking out of the cave, your fingers gripping the handles tightly.

The sight that met you when you finally emerged drained all the blood from your face.

Ella was sprawled on the ground unconscious. You wanted nothing more than to climb down and pull her up but your saddle only sat one person. The guards were staring right at you, weapons in the air though they were scared as Nyx growled at them in warning.

You could hear Otto’s and Alicent’s distant shouts coming from nearby, barking out orders you couldn’t quite make out.

And then you heard a third.

Aemond.

Your heart clenched at the sound of his voice and the tears resurfaced once again.

He killed Lucerys.

With one last look to your maid, you prayed she wasn’t dead and would get out of this alive.

You signaled for Nyx to begin moving and he roared at the guards in front of you. They all cowered back just as Aemond, followed by Otto and Alicent, had stepped into the pit.

Your red-rimmed eyes met his for a second before you shouted, “Sōvēs Nyx!” (fly nyx)

You shivered as the cold air nipped at your exposed skin. You weren’t properly dressed for a ride, still in your nightgown.

Nyx was flying in the direction of Dragonstone and soon enough you would be home. You would be reunited with your baby and while you were being hugged by your mother, Lucerys would jump out and yell surprise! You would find out this was all one big cruel joke that everyone but you were in.

But you knew that was just your denial talking.

Suddenly, you heard a roar and you straightened up, eyes scanning your surroundings. Nyx was alert, his beady yellow eyes turned to slits.

You knew who it was before you saw him.

“[Y/N]!” Aemond shouted behind you. Vhagar’s huge frame and shark teeth sent a shiver of fear down your spine. You commanded Nyx to fly faster and soon you were both in a chase. He kept shouting your name, pleading for you to stop but you didn’t listen.

You didn’t want to listen to him. He couldn’t apologize his way out of this one. He had killed your little brother, murdered him in cold blood.

You didn’t know how he did it and you didn’t want to know.

You feared if you knew you would turn around and end his life yourself.

Vhagar was gaining speed and soon enough she was almost next to you and your dragon.

“[Y/N]! Please! Listen to me!” Aemond shouted, hair flying back. You clenched your teeth as anger, grief, and sadness surged through you. “ÑUHO GLAESO HŪRUS, PLEASE LOOK AT ME!” (moon of my life)

Your head snapped in his direction, eyes blazing. “Don’t call me that! You lost the privilege the moment you murdered my brother!” You shouted at him. Nyx let out another roar as he felt the pain you were currently in through the bond.

“It was an accident!” He defended himself and your anger flared. You wanted to jump off Nyx and strangle him. Hit him until blood flooded his mouth and he wasn’t able to speak.

An accident?

He had killed your brother and was acting like he had simply tripped him.

You knew he hated them but you didn’t think it would reach the point of actual murder.

“I hate you! I wish I had never married you at all!” You shouted at him, tears cascading down your face.

I wish you were dead, you thought to yourself and immediately regretted it.

You didn’t actually mean it but at that moment you didn’t care. You wanted him to hurt the same way you were at that moment.

You didn’t realize Nyx had turned, jaws open and ready to attack until it was too late. In the heat of the moment, overwhelmed with your anger and thirst for revenge, your loyal dragon had decided to enact it for you.

Vhagar screeched at Nyx’s approach and you pulled at the reins, hoping to force your dragon away from the old and much bigger dragon. “NO!” You shouted, fear and panic in your voice.

Aemond was shouting at Vhagar, commanding her to stand down, but the war dragon wasn’t listening. His heart was beating out of his chest, a wave of deja vu hitting him as he watched as Vhagar’s teeth clamped on the side of Nyx’s neck.

“Vhagar, stand down!” Aemond screamed again and this time the old dragon listened. She let go but the damage was done. Nyx was losing too much blood, the smell of iron filled your nose, and blood sprayed from the wound, drenching you in the process.

Nyx was getting weaker as more and more blood poured from the open wound and you knew he wasn’t going to make it.

Aemond watched in horror as your dragon began to fall, with you still on the saddle. You were staring up at him, your own eyes wide.

You knew this was it.

This was the end.

This was how you would die.

You were falling, fast, and there was nothing you could do.

Even if you jumped off now, you would still be falling into the Stranger’s arms. The impact from the sea would carry you to it.

You thought of your mother. Your poor mother who already lost a son, who would now lose a daughter.

You thought of Jacaerys, who on top of losing a brother, would lose his other half.

You thought of Laenor, who would grow up without a mother, only stories of you to comfort him.

You thought of your other siblings, who would have to weep and mourn another of their kin.

“[Y/N]!” Aemond screamed, commanding Vhagar to swoop down and follow. He wanted to reach you, to save you. The older dragon let out a deep roar as she sped up and Aemond reached his hand out for you to grasp.

“Hold my hand!” He shouted, hoping you would untie your restraints and come back to safety with him.

But it was too late.

I love you, you mouthed up at him and his face contorted. A choked sound escaped his lips, a mixture of a shout and a sob, as he watched the water getting closer and closer.

The smell of sea salt invaded your senses and you knew it was coming.

You closed your eyes and welcomed death with open arms.

I’m coming Lucerys.

tags、@heavenly1927 @marihoneywk @foggypeacestarlight

#aemond targaryen #aemond x you #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond one eye #house of the dragon #hotd aemond #aemond targaryen imagine #house of the dragon imagine #prince aemond targaryen #aemond fanfiction #cvspians

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dearly-somber · 6 months

Text

Naked | j.jk

-> pairing. wolf shifter!jungkook x human!reader (f)

-> genre. slow burn, eventual romance, fluff, pining, f2l (friends-to-lovers), eventual smut, humor, angst, drama

-> w/c. 1729

-> rating. 13+

-> a/n. Thank you all so much for the love for this couple, y’all have motivated me a lot and I can’t put into words how much I appreciate it <33

-> warnings. suggestive; a lil’ ✨angsty✨

-> collection. mini-series

-> started. Jun. 30th, 2022 @ 18:25

-> fin. Mon., Jul. 30th, 2022 @ 23:27

-> edited. Thurs., Oct. 9th, 2023 @ 12:33

-> divider credit. @mmadeinheavenn

Finding out that your best friend turns into a glorified dog isn’t something you had on your bingo card this year.

You were staying over at Jungkook’s house to finish a History project worth 25% of your final grade, but you ended up falling asleep halfway through. (Oops!)

When you woke up, it wasn’t to the annoyingly smug expression of one incredibly chuffed Jeon Jungkook, but to the silky smooth fur and wet-nosed touch of a fully grown wolf.

You screamed like a shower victim in an 80s horror movie and fell off the bed with a painful thud, the wolf peeking over the edge of the bed with a strangely concerned yip. You screamed again and pushed yourself to your feet, booking it downstairs two at a time (a maneuver that would’ve cost you your life any other day) before slamming into Jisoo halfway through the living room. You held onto her arms with wide, frightened eyes.

You were on the verge of tears, panicking to Jisoo about how “there’s a fucking wolf in Jungkook’s bedroom and oh god I think it ate him oh my god,” when Jungkook barreled down the stairs while pulling a crinkled black tee over his stomach.

Jisoo glared at the maknae, looking pointedly at you (Lisa had taken hold of your shoulders and tried helping you through breathing exercises) and then back at him, her hands on her hips. “What happened?”

Jungkook looked between the two of you, a particularly pained look crossing his face at your glossy eyes and heaving shoulders. “I’m— I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he mumbles.

“You couldn’t just fall asleep normally?” Jisoo snapped exasperatedly, ignoring your confused back-and-forth looks.

“He wouldn’t stop whining and making a fuss and I didn’t think she’d wake up so soon!” Jungkook yelled desperately, looking nearly as upset as you felt.

“Wait, wait, wait. You guys are—where’s the wolf?” you asked incredulously, wiping furiously at your eyes as you strode forward to stand next to Jisoo.

“He’s—he’s not out anymore… And he wouldn’t dream of hurting you,” Jungkook said, stepping toward you with his arms open. You took a panicked step back, confused and scared and so, so lost.

“Are you telling me… Are you a werewolf?”

“Shifter,” Yoongi corrected from where he was lounging on the couch (you hadn’t noticed him in your panic). “Why do you humans always assume we’re werewolves?”

“You shapeshift into a wolf. That makes you a werewolf,” you sassed, quickly backing away at his intense, annoyed glare.

Jisoo sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering something under her breath before turning an accusatory glare on Jungkook. “Take your friend upstairs and explain to her what’s going on. I’ll talk to Namjoon.”

Jungkook nodded obediently, a solemn look on his face as he reached for your wrist so he could tug you upstairs, wincing back when you flinched away from his touch.

He clenched and unclenched his fingers before dropping his hand to his side, beckoning you to follow him. “C’mon. We should talk.”

You sit with Jungkook on his bed, waiting for him to look up from his lap so he can finally explain to you what the fuck is going on.

You bite the inside of your cheek, eyes drifting to his hands. He’s picking at his nails, refusing to meet your eyes. As confused and shocked as you are, you can’t let him get in his head. His crestfallen face does dirty-dirty things to your heart, banging it up for making him look so sad.

You take a deep breath and reach to hold his hands in yours. Jungkook meets your eyes, his lip wobbling at the soft, patient look in your eyes. You squeeze his hand encouragingly, smiling at the way his eyes light up hopefully at your acceptance.

He inhales shakily and closes his eyes. “Me and my family are shifters. We have full control over when we shift, and we share a close connection with our wolves. Our souls are connected to help with the transitions between wolf and human, a thoughtful gift from our ancestors.

“I moved to Seoul when I was fifteen to try and find my own pack, and I met Jiminie hyung on the train ride over from Busan. We met Yoongi hyung at the bus stop outside of the train station and he offered to help us find the hostel we booked. Somewhere along the journey he must’ve taken a liking to us, because we were moving into the pack house the next day.”

Jungkook laughed fondly at the recollection, the tenseness in his shoulders gone as he spoke to you normally. “We’ve been training ever since to get better at controlling when we shift. Among…other things.” He blushes.

“I didn’t mean to scare you today,” he whispers.

You bite the inside of your cheek. A shifter. That was his explanation for…everything. The affection, the borderline-obsession with your scent, why he’s staying with a bunch of strangers instead of his parents.

Surprisingly, believing him isn’t the hardest part about the new information. “You guys… aren’t dangerous?”

“No,” Jungkook denies firmly, his thumb running over the back of your hand.

“Is that why you’re so touchy? Because of the…wolfier part of you?”

Jungkook scrunches his nose at your choice of words, but smiles softly. “Yeah. Physical closeness is normal and integral to shifter relationships,” he explains. “We have this thing called scenting, which is basically a more…concentrated way of showing affection. It’s also a way to kind of…claim you, I guess. To show you’re part of the pack.”

“But isn’t scenting a thing only mated wolves do?” you ask, frowning at the implications that would have on your relationship.

Jungkook shakes his head. “No, scenting can be romantic or plutonic. It’s dependent on where you scent,” he explains. “Couples usually do what we call ‘marking’, but I’ve heard about people who mark platonically.”

“Marking…as in?” You shift curiously. Shifter culture and biology is going to be something you ask a lot about, you think.

Jungkook blushes, avoiding your eyes as he clears his throat. Finally, he says, “Biting.”

“Biti—Jungkook,” you say, “you bit me a few days ago—“

He must hear the accusation in your voice because he frantically shakes his head. “No, no, no! That was play, I swear. Marking is much more… intimate.” Jungkook’s ears turn pink at the suspicious look you give him.

There’s a long beat of silence where you just kind of…stare at each other.

Jungkook can’t read you. He can’t help the tremble in his voice and the wobbling of his lower lip, looking at your intertwined hands. “You think it’s scary and unnatural, don’t you?”

“Jungkook…”

He smiles sadly. “It’s okay, I get it. We don’t have to be friends any—“

“Yah,” you furrow your brows with a squeeze of his hands, making him look at you. “I still wanna be your friend, Koo. This actually… explains a lot. It’s just a lot to take in,” you confess.

He still looks unsure of himself. And because you can’t stand seeing him sad, you shift toward him and bring your arms around his torso in a hug. He sniffles, burying his nose into your shoulder as his hands drift to the center of your back, clutching the fabric between his fingers.

It’s peaceful in his arms. Quiet. The only sound in the room is that of your combined breathing. Maybe he can even hear your heartbeat? You bite the inside of your cheek, patting his back gently. You wonder how it all works? They must shift pretty quickly, considering Jungkook had been downstairs only a minute or two after you. And he was pulling a shirt on when he was coming down the stairs…

“I don’t mean to be insensitive,” you pull away to look at him properly, “but what happens to your clothes when you transform? Do you like… do you get” —you gesture around vaguely, whispering— “naked before it starts?”

Jungkook snorts, his eyes glossy and cheeks pink. But, hey! At least he’s smiling!

He grins boyishly and shakes his head. “Way to ruin the moment,” he teases. “But uh, yeah. Our clothes rip when we shift, so we try to undress beforehand.”

“You’ve seen each other naked?“ you ask incredulously, eyes wide. Jungkook blushes pink at your reaction, nodding while sheepishly scratching the back of his head. “Even… the girls?”

He whines, hiding his face in his hands. You gape at his pink ears, malfunctioning for a second. Jungkook’s seen boobs and ass. And probably more than that, too. You rub at your neck to distract yourself from the blush you feel crawling up your throat.

“It’s normal!” Jungkook defends himself, still blushing furiously as he waves his hands around wildly, pouting. “You’re making it weird…”

“I” —you gape at him— “what? You’re the one who’s seen your friends’ jun-mfh—“ you laugh into Jungkook’s hand as he smacks it over your mouth, yelling at you to shut up before they hear!

You laugh breathlessly and tell him that you’ll be quiet, reassuring him three, four, five times before he finally lets you go.

He sits back on his knees with his feet folded underneath him. “Let’s forget this conversation ever happened,” Jungkook says, shivering exaggeratedly to make his point.

You giggle and shake your head as your smile slips. You stare at him until he meets your eyes, and smile softly when he does. “Thank you for telling me.”

He nods, smiling down at his hands. The two of you stay like that for what feels like hours, basking in each others’ presence and getting familiar with this newly shared secret.

“Can I…” Jungkook nibbles his lip, hope shining behind his eyes. “Can I scent you?”

You snort, pushing his face away with a lighthearted smile. “Never in a million years, Jeon.”

“Bunny,” he whines childishly, righting himself into a sitting position after almost toppling off the edge of his bed before clasping his hands in front of him. “Please? I promise it’ll feel good!”

“Stop!”

“Yah, you’re the one making it sound weird!”

“Fine! I guess I’ll go tell your hyungs and noonas about how dirty their precious maknae i—“

“DON’T YOU DARE!”

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minarinnn · 3 months

Text

content/trigger warnings: angst, tlt spoilers!!, slight manipulation, yelling, aggression, implied relationship, inspired on favorite crime but not really that noticiable

you knew. you knew from the start that luke was the lighting thief. even worse, you helped him.

you knew that it was wrong, that he was wrong. that the path he was taking wasn’t the right one. but how could you tell him that when he so lovingly asked you to help him with his plan??

it was torture for you, having to keep such a thing from everybody at camp. watching the new kid, who seemed so sweet and innocent, be blamed for it and sent on a dangerous quest. one that would likely kill him. then finding out from luke that they suspect clarisse, one of your closest friends, to be the lighting thief.

“luke, hasn’t this gone too far? i mean, what if something bad happens to clarisse??” you asked, completely worried for your friend. afraid of the god’s wrath, for they are not know for showing mercy. “too far?” luke scoffed, turning to look at you “you wanna be a slave for the gods until you drop dead?”. he was clearly offended by your statement. “there’s bound to be collateral damage”

you sat in a secluded part of the forest, barely crossing the camp border. everyone was celebrating percy’s accomplishment, y’know, stopping the war and all. luke had told you to wait there, he didn’t tell you what he was going to do, he never did. but you sure knew what you were gonna do.

it was time to get away from this mess. even if it meant losing luke, you didn’t wanna be a part of this. and to be completely honest, you’re not sure that was your luke anymore. he’d gotten so different, and you were so worried when you first noticed the change. but after he told you and asked you to join him, could you really say no?

what seemed to be a portal opened up from a nearby tree, luke stepped out of it. he was panicked, almost scared, sweat rolled down his forehead and his eyes were almost glossy. you got up so fast it was almost instinct. “luke?” “we’re leaving, right now” he spoke urgently, frantically looking around.

“i’m not going with you, luke” you felt your breath escaping your body. luke froze, as if he couldn't believe what he had just heard. his eyes are practically glued onto your face now, even more hurt than they were a moment ago. “what?” he breathed out, eyes and eyebrows narrowing at you in disbelief.

“i don't want to turn my back on my friends and watch them suffer" you could feel a lump building in your throat as you stare back at luke. "i know how much this hurts, believe me. but this path you're taking it’s.. it's not the right one. and deep down, i think you know that too..”.

luke’s face contorts into a mixture of pain and anger. "you’re wrong" he spat out "you don't understand. we’re fighting for something bigger than ourselves. we’re fighting for our freedom” you took a step back, trying to protect yourself from his anger and desperation. "i understand that" you said “but i just don’t think that this is the way to do it. you’re hurting people, people who used to be your friends.. you're putting yourself in danger”

luke let out a bitter laugh, his hands clenching into fists, knuckles practically white. "danger?" he scoffed "danger is all around us— we’re demigods, for heaven's sake! danger is part of our life. but at least i’m doing something about it, instead of just sitting back and waiting for inevitable death”

you shook your head, tears threatening to spill from your glossy eyes. luke stares back at you in and his eyes soften, his expression shifting from anger to sadness. "why do you have to make this so hard?" he whispers, voice breaking slightly “just come with me and we’ll finally be free from all of th-“ "i can't be a part of this anymore, luke.. i’m sorry”

"i thought you loved me" he spoke with sadness and bitterness in his voice, taking a step closer to you while his eyes travels through yours. “i do love you” you exclaim, tested finally streaming down your cheeks “and that’s exactly why i cant watch you do this to yourself”

luke’s expression froze as he processed your response. he was clearly hurt, but perhaps more so by the realization that he had lost your support. he had been so sure that you would choose to go with him, that you would stand by his side no matter what. but now he saw the hesitation in your eyes, the resolve within you.

"i see..” he says, voice barely above a whisper. his hands travel up to the side of your face and he pulls you in for one final kiss. the kiss is sweet yet the only thing you could both feel was regret, regret of leaving the person you love most behind.

“stay.. please, stay” you whisper. his sad eyes answer for him, and you close your eyes in disappointment. "i’ll miss you” he added, kissing the top of your head.

luke turned and disappeared through the portal, leaving you alone in the forest. as he walked away, you catch’d a glimpse of tears in his eyes, but he didn’t look back. you feel a pit in your stomach, a mix of guilt and anger, as you stand alone in the forest, unsure of what to do next. in your point of view, you were just collateral damage to him.

#luke castellan apologist #luke castellan x you #luke x reader #pjo luke castellan #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #pjo x you #pjo x reader #pjo fandom #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #charlie bushnell #luke castellan angst

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scoonsalicious · 2 months

Text

Unwanted: Chapter 4, Unwelcome - Pt. 1*

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, Explicit Sexual Content - Minors: GTFO; I don’t serve your kind here - (oral (f receiving), unprotected PIV (only okay if one of you is a super solider who can't contract/spread, otherwise, wrap it before you tap it), bad jokes (should be a given at this point, really), dummies not understanding feelings.

Word Count: 2.6k

Previously On...: Bucky returned from his mission and your reunion got a little spicier than intended... not that either one of you is complaining! Deciding not to make it a one-time thing, you both agree to try a friends-with-benefits arrangement. What could possibly go wrong?

A/N: Yay! More smut! Aren't we all so lucky! <3 I magically managed to plow my way through writing Chapter 10 tonight, which means ya'll get Chapter 4, Part 1 a little earlier than I anticipated! I have to confess that I love the stupid banter between Bucky and Pocket. Their dumb playfulness is so #goals for me, lol. You've got a lot of fluff and such coming your way for a few chapters, meanwhile I'm at the point where I'm just writing all the angst and it is making me so sad. I subconsciously keep trying to fix it because I hate having them be at odds, but the story needs pain! And therefore I must make my babies suffer. Not right now, though. Right now is smut, smut, smut! Enjoy!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @erelierraceala

You sat in your office, head bent over the latest budget requests from your lab staff. You tended to be pretty generous when it came to project funding, but this $15 million request for a proposed shrink ray had to be some sort of a joke. Did they want a lawsuit from Pym Technologies? A knock on your door drew your attention away from the submission in front of you.

"Come in," you called out, putting the shrink ray proposal in your rejection pile. Bucky entered your office, flashing you a seductive smile as he closed and locked the door behind him.

Leaning back in your desk chair, you let your eyes rove over his frame as he walked toward you. He'd obviously just come from the gym, his muscles glistening with a sheen of sweat and his t-shirt clinging to his sculpted chest. The sight of him made your heart race, and you couldn't help but feel a now familiar heat building between your legs. He looked absolutely gorgeous. "You're not my GrubHub order," you teased.

"Not your GrubHub," he said, coming around to sit on the edge of your desk, "but I bet I can fill you up just as good."

You both stared at each other for a beat before bursting into laughter. "Oh my God, Barnes," you groaned, standing up and wrapping your arms around his neck. "That was absolutely awful." You kissed him, relishing the feel of his laughter against your mouth. "I can't believe I willingly let you put your dick in me, jokes like that."

Bucky's laughter faded into a heated gaze as his hands traveled up your sides, sending shivers down your spine. "Well," he whispered huskily, his lips grazing against the shell of your ear, "I'm glad you let me, because all I can think about is doing it again."

"Then it's a very good thing you locked that door," you whispered back, trying to ignore the wetness his words sent straight to your panties.

His fingers traced the outline of your jaw, his feather-light touch igniting a trail of desire along your skin. The familiar weight of his presence grounded you, drawing you closer. Together, like this, it was as if you were the only two people in the world, as if no one else existed.

"I've been thinking about you all day," Bucky confessed, his voice laced with a mixture of longing and hunger. "Couldn't focus on anything else but getting my hands on you."

"I've been right here." You took a hand and palmed him through his sweats. He was already rock hard, ready for you.

"Tease," he moaned, slotting his lips over yours again.

Your breath hitched as he kissed you, a surge of electricity coursing through your veins. The heat between you intensified with each kiss, fueling the fire that burned deep within. The taste of him was addictive, and you wondered how you had spent over a year in his company without kissing him before now.

“Fuck,” he hissed, pulling back from you. “I don’t have a condom. I could go get one, come back…”

You shook your head, not wanting to delay another moment. You knew the serum made him immune to catching or passing on any STIs, and you were clean. “I’m on the pill, Bucky,” you said, bringing your lips to his again. “And I wanna feel you. So fucking bad.”

“Thank God for modern fucking medicine,” he grinned.

Bucky's hands roamed over your body, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake. He expertly unbuttoned your blouse without taking his mouth from yours, revealing the soft curve of your breasts. His lips trailed down your neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin.

"You seem to have forgotten your bra, Pocket," he murmured before taking his mouth to your nipple, swirling his tongue around it and sucking gently. Your knees weakened at the sensation, and you gripped onto his shoulders for support.

"Mmm, Bucky," you moaned, arching your back as he switched his attention to your other breast, giving it the same lavish treatment. The wetness pooled between your thighs, leaving you aching for his touch.

He stepped back abruptly, his eyes dark with desire as he reached down to unbutton your skirt. "I've been dying to taste you," he murmured, his voice thick with need.

You eagerly stepped out of your skirt, revealing the black lace panties that barely covered your soaking slit. Bucky's gaze darkened further as he looked at you, hungrily taking in every inch of your exposed body.

"Fuck," he breathed, stepping closer to you "You wear these just for me?" You just smiled at him, biting your lower lip. You had worn them just for him, but he didn't need to know that. With one swift motion, he lifted you up and placed you on the edge of your desk. The cool wood felt delicious against your heated skin as Bucky hooked his fingers around the sides of your panties, pulling them down your legs and stuffing them into the pocket of his pants.

"Thief," you chastised, but he only smirked at you as he dropped to his knees in front of you, his warm breath fanning across your slick folds as he hooked your legs over his shoulders.

You grasped the edge of the desk, your heart pounding in anticipation as he leaned forward and dipped his tongue between your swollen lips. A moan escaped you at the first touch of his velvety tongue against your throbbing clit. "Holy shit, Buck," you groaned. "Just like that."

"I knew you'd be delicious," he moaned into you.

Bucky's skilled tongue worked its magic, flicking and swirling with an expertise that sent waves of pleasure radiating through your body. Your head fell back, exposing your neck as you surrendered yourself to the sensations he was evoking. Each lick and suck was like an electric shock to your core, building the tension coiling within you.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, urging him closer as he devoured you with an insatiable hunger. The intensity of his ministrations brought you to the edge faster than expected, the coil within you tightening with an urgency that demanded release. You whimpered, your moans growing louder with each pass of his tongue.

"Bucky," you panted, pulling on his hair to drag him up. "Bucky I need you. I need you right now." Your voice was desperate, your body craving the feel of his thickness inside you.

Bucky's eyes were filled with a predatory glint as he stood up, his lips glistening with the evidence of your arousal. He swiftly rid himself of his sweats, releasing his swollen, throbbing length that begged to be inside you. The air crackled with tension as he positioned himself between your thighs, his hands gripping your hips firmly.

"Tell me what you want, sweetheart," he growled, his voice rough with desire.

You locked eyes with him, the intensity of your connection sparking a fire within you. "I want you inside me," you gasped, your voice filled with a desperate need.

Without any further warning, Bucky plunged into you with a force that stole your breath. The sensation of being filled by him, stretched and taken to the brink of reason, sent shock waves coursing through every nerve ending in your body. You cried out in ecstasy, the sound mingling with his own groan of pleasure.

"Jesus Christ, Pocket," he moaned, "you're so fucking tight."

He set a punishing pace, driving into you with a raw need that matched your own. The sensation of him sliding in and out of you sent sparks of delight shooting through your veins. Your hands clawed at his back, urging him to move faster, harder.

Each stroke hit that sweet spot deep within you, igniting fireworks in your body. The desk creaked beneath the force of your movements, the sound echoing throughout the room.

"Fuck," Bucky grunted, his hips slapping against yours with a primal intensity, "turn around."

He pulled out of you and flipped you, bending you over the desk before thrusting back into you from behind. The new angle allowed him to hit you deeper than before, and you could feel the tip of him kiss your cervix.

The desk continued to shake as Bucky pounded into you, the raw power behind each thrust pushing you closer to the edge of release. Your breath came in ragged gasps, your moans filling the air as ecstasy rippled through your body.

Sweat dripped down both of your bodies, glistening in the dim light of the office. The urgency between you was palpable, a desperate hunger that consumed every inch of your being. You could feel the tension building within you, coiling tighter and tighter.

"I'm...I'm so close," you managed to pant out, your voice strained with need. "Don't stop, Bucky."

He groaned in response, his thrusts becoming more erratic, his hips slamming against yours with an almost brutal force. The sound of your bodies colliding filled the room, drowning out any other noise.

Bucky's gaze bore into yours as you turned to look at him, his eyes filled with a mixture of lust and adoration. His grip on your hips tightened even further, his fingers leaving imprints on your skin as he pistoned in and out of you. The sensations he stoked within you built to an unbearable peak, threatening to consume you both.

With one final powerful thrust, Bucky sent you hurtling over the edge, your orgasm crashing through you like a tidal wave. You cried out his name, your body convulsing as waves of bliss coursed through every fiber of your being. It was an explosion that left you breathless and trembling, your senses overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment.

Bucky followed suit, ropes of his spend spilling into you as he found his own release. He bent his body over yours, burying his face in the curve of your neck, his moans muffled against your skin as he rode out the aftershocks of his orgasm.

For a few moments, the only sound in the room was heavy breathing and the faint echo of your heartbeats pounding in your ears. Your bodies were entangled, sweaty and spent from the intense release that had just washed over you. Bucky's grip on your hips slowly loosened as he pulled out of you, his length slipping free with a wet sound.

ith a shaky sigh, you turned around and immediately collapsed back onto the desk, your legs trembling from the sheer euphoria that had consumed you moments ago. Bucky stood there, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. His eyes were filled with a mix of satisfaction and tenderness as he looked down at you.

He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before moving to stand in front of you. His fingers gently brushed against your cheek, wiping away a stray tear that had escaped during your climax. You reached up, intertwining your fingers with his and bringing them to your lips for a gentle kiss.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern lacing his voice. "I didn't hurt you, did I? I went a little harder than I meant to."

You shook your head, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "No, Bucky. That was... incredible. You didn't hurt me, you made me feel amazing." You paused, looking up into his eyes, filled with genuine affection. "You always make me feel amazing."

His gaze softened, and he brushed his thumb against your cheekbone. You moved to hop down from your desk, but your knees gave out, refusing to hold you.

"Hey, I've got you," Bucky said with a laugh as he steadied you, supporting you as though you weighed nothing. He began slowly buttoning your shirt back up, then slid your skirt back up your thighs.

"I think you ruined my legs," you giggled as he planted a kiss on your navel before tucking your shirt back into your skirt.

"Sorry 'bout that," he said with a smirk as he straightened up.

You let out a shaky laugh. "Yeah, I'm sure you feel really bad about it," you grinned.

He leaned in close to your ear. "Not even a little bit," he whispered, as though it was a conspiratorial secret. God, just his proximity and the sound of his voice sent a shiver down your spine.

"Looking to go for Round Two already, doll?" he asked you as he took in your physical response to him with a smug smile.

"I don't think my desk can take another go at the moment, or my legs, for that matter." You tried standing up again and were pleased to find that, though your knees were still weak, you were able to hold yourself upright. You glanced over to see Bucky watching you with a shit-eating grin. "You look a little too proud of yourself, you know."

"Tell me it's not fully deserved." He grinned at you like a mother fucking cat who had just found a saucer of cream. You rolled your eyes as you began picking up the avalanche of papers that had fallen from your desk to the floor. Bucky came around and bent over to help set your office back to rights.

Once everything was back in its proper place, you stood back to admire your work. No one would know that you'd been thoroughly railed here just a few minutes before. You watched as Bucky picked up the framed photo you kept of the two of you on your desk.

It was from your trip to the New York Botanical Gardens last winter. Bucky had confessed to you that, due to spending so much time on ice while under Hydra's control, he'd developed an intense hatred-- almost fear-- of cold weather. So, when a particularly brutal cold snap had him feeling exceptionally out of sorts, you'd taken him up to the Bronx to visit the Enid A. Haupt Conservatory, where you spent the day meandering through the paths of the hothouse, surrounded by humidity and tropical plants as though you were in the middle of the rainforest. In the photo, Bucky stood next to you with his arms wrapped around your shoulders, your hands hanging off of his forearm as he leaned into you and kissed your temple. Your face was scrunched up into a ridiculous smile.

"That was a great day," Bucky said, tracing the photo with a flesh finger. "I don't think I ever told you how much it meant to me, means to me, that you did that for me." His voice had dropped to something deeper, softer.

You felt something in your heart flutter at his words, the sensation new and a little frightening. The sensation made you nervous in a way you couldn't identify. "Buck," you said, swallowing thickly, "there's not much I wouldn't do for you. I hope you know that."

His crystal blue eyes bore into you as he looked at you, almost as though he was waiting for you to say something more. When you didn't, he let out a sigh and placed the photo back on your desk.

Looking back up at you, the intensity was gone from his gaze. "You hungry? I figure we must have burned enough calories to justify a big lunch." His cocky grin was back in place.

"Yeah, that sounds perfect," you said, linking your arm in his and patently ignoring the way the contact sent a swell of affection through your heart. "Let me pop into the bathroom to clean up, and then we're good to go."

<- Previous Chapter / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

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soap-ify · 4 months

Text

simon can't be with you anymore.

cw gn!reader , angst , hurt / no comfort, simon doesn't know what he's doing.

notes streets said that it's angstmas !! didn't know that it existed until recently. anyways, since i'm having the worst week of my life, i'm gonna ruin it for simon too.

maybe simon was being stupid.

he probably was. not that he could think of any other options besides leaving you.

his work was too dangerous, and the next deployment was probably going to be his last. especially after the recent briefing he went to where the captain spoke about the upcoming mission — a highly risky one. in fact, even the most skilled like ‘ghost’ was bound to either get severely injured or just die. probably the latter. especially since he wouldn’t be with the rest of the taskforce 141 in the fucking warzone.

just a sacrifice for the better of the world, yeah? even though a part of him didn’t want to. fuck the world. you meant so much more to him. but he had chosen this job right. he had agreed to the mission.

and after all, he never considered himself deserving of you, deserving of this relationship he had with you. he knew he was somewhat of a distant boyfriend — barely opening up about his own feelings or past. at least he had shown you his face. you didn’t deserve someone as dangerous as him, someone so… damaged.

he didn’t want to die knowing that you’d be waiting home, all sad and lonely. he didn’t want to leave you like that, but at the same time, he didn’t want to stay and just watch this sweet bubble you two were in shatter. in both ways, he had to leave you. he had to somehow make this less painful, to make it easier for you to move on.

god, he was an asshole. he knew he was. he spent the week just distancing himself from you, responding to your words with nods and grunts while barely reciprocating to your affectionate touches. his heart was breaking more and more everyday, noticing the pained look in your eyes.

he couldn’t keep doing this for much longer. eventually, he had to end this, and he did.

“we can’t be together.”

his words hit you like a brick. literally on a random friday evening. not so random now, it seemed.

“what do you mean, si…?” your voice got quieter with each word, uncertainty towards your own state of mind flooding inside you while a lump formed in your throat, restraining you from properly even speaking out. your eyes stared at him in pure confusion and heart, noticing how he was cladded in his uniform, how he wore that damn skull mask balaclava — building up those walls again that you had managed to break so easily with your love.

simon hated this. he didn’t want to see you so confused and defeated. he had to stop himself mentally from doing something irrational. he was doing this for you, for your own good. though hearing you call him ‘si’ seemed to somewhat crack his composure.

“look, we can’t be together. s’too dangerous. too risky for you. you never know when i might die.” soon, but he held himself from saying that. you didn’t need to know about his deployment, not at all.

“w-why so sudden?” your voice cracked as you tried to properly make sense of his words, emotions taking off your being while you tried to hold in the tears that had begun to sting your eyes.

too dangerous, too risky — maybe somewhere in your heart, you had known that a day like this would come. simon riley was too careful about safety, too dedicated to his work while simultaneously being madly in love. suddenly, all of his sudden distant behavior made sense, and you felt somewhat stupid. stupid for, well, everything.

he was the plague that had infected you, and now he needed to leave so you could heal.

but you never thought of him like that. he was your rock, the anchor that held you from slipping away into loneliness that had always somehow stuck with you throughout your life, a sting that only simon could soothe. it was simon who would craddle you in his arks every night, it was simon who would listen to your rambles. it was simon who your heart was so willing to give love to.

and now he was going to leave.

simon had expected you to scream, to somehow target your anger and frustrations at him. he wanted you to yell at him, he deserved it.

but you didn’t. you sniffled, beads of tears beginning to roll down your cheeks as you took a wobbly step back, too exhausted to fight back or anything.

you didn’t blame simon. how could you? even now, you couldn’t find a flaw in him. too in love? maybe.

as silence filled the living room of the apartment you used to share with him, he slowly picked up his duffel bag and sighed, trying to keep his brown eyes cold and unfeeling, to make it look like he didn’t feel remorseful, to hide his heart was threatening to tear out of his own skin.

“i’ll always love you, simon…”

you said after a few seconds, causing his head to turn over to look back at you — your eyes teary and puffy while your cheeks were streaked with tears, his hands aching to wipe them away. your voice was weak, reluctantly defeated. you know that there was no point in stopping him.

i’ll always love you too, he mentally thought, though never said.

"one final kiss...?" simon froze at your request, knowing that if he were to look at your face any longer, he'd actually stay. he sighed and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead before pulling away, brown eyes hardening up.

he gave you a final nod and exited the apartment from the front door, leaving you alone all over again, your heart torn in pieces as you fell down on your knees, shattering into pieces that no one was going to bother picking up now. only simon could, but he was gone.

simon riley had died three months after that, and you never found out. for you, ge had just disappeared, leaving no traces behind.

just a memory that you were afraid you’d forget eventually, forget his touch and his voice, forget his face — just a memory that was going to bury itself no matter how hard you may try.

#i don't know what i am doing #literally writing everything EXCEPT the simon oneshot i am actually supposed to be writing #evilly ruins simon's life.#teared up while writing this #WHO GETS THE REFERENCE HERE !!#ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley #cod x reader #call of duty #rurufic

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vendetta-ari · 3 months

Note

Can you do angst? If you can can yo udo Vox x Angel Female Reader who just had a fight with Vox over something and unfortunately screamed at Reader by saying "I wish/hope you die which made Reader leave and after 3 weeks of reader being absent Vox happens to get almost killed in extermination day until Reader blocked the hit and dies in his arms after Angel Reader protected him and got the Exorcist Angel to go away or die

omg angst makes me so sad but this was certainly entertaining to write. sorry I took so long to get your request done!! I hope you enjoy <3

The slamming of your door woke you up from your nap, you groggily got up from the couch you were sleeping on to see Vox, visibly angry. “mm..what's wrong honey?-” you asked him. He'd been busy with work lately so you assumed it was just another one of Velvette and Valentino's shenanigans. You didn't know much about the demons that lived around here, after all you were an angel, and not just any angel, an exorcist. you never liked the idea of extermination so you made friends with a few demons, specifically Vox, your boyfriend. Most would find your love disgusting and wrong, but you didn't really care, you would sneak into hell often to come visit him all the time. Vox had walked up to you and gave you a look as if he was mad at you, you didn't even do anything..right? “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Seriously, what is your godman problem? Are you mental or something?”

Your eyes widened in shock, he never speaks to you like that, even when he's mad. “what are you talking about Vox??”

“What am I talking about? don't play dumb, that shit doesn't work on me. I mean, really? y'know what? get the fuck out” He spoke with a nervous laugh, trying to hold himself back from doing something rash. “Vox I seriously don't know what I did- I'm sorry I-” your voice got all shaky before Vox cut you off from explaining yourself. “SHUT UP. I ALREADY TOLD YOU I WANTED YOU THE FUCK OUT MY HOUSE.” he screamed so loud it terrified you. You shook your head and started grabbing a few things, you really didn't wanna argue with him. You felt your eyes getting all watery and you sniffled heading for the door. Before you left though, you heard Vox mumble something under his breath.

“I hope you fucking die.” he spat out.

You quickly slammed the door behind you, you felt sick to your stomach. How could he say that about you? you loved him and this is how he repays you? you didn't even know what you did to make him this way.

A few weeks had past, while you usually would come visit Vox in hell every week, you assumed he didn't want to see you. And a part of you didn't want to see him either, so you had stayed in heaven for weeks on end. Eventually extermination day came. you were never excited for it, but something about this time just made you more nervous and on edge. You ran around hell, pretending to kill demons. you never wanted this job, really. You always thought nobody really deserved to die. As you were thinking to yourself, you turned the corner and saw Vox. An exorcist stood above him, a spear pointed at his head. you needed to do something, anything, you couldn't just let him die. You ran at the speed of light and pushed the exorcist out of the way, she fell to the floor as you turned to Vox, urging him to run. The exorcist grabbed you by the collar and slammed you down on the floor, almost making you lose consciousness. she grabbed your wings and pulled, tearing them off clean as golden blood flowed down your back. you screamed in horror and pain as she plunged a spear through your stomach before flying to kill some other demons.

You coughed up blood looking at Vox, he was still there..he didn't run. He fell to his knees and grabbed you, he looked disheveled, tears at his clothing and a few cracks on his screen.

“oh god..o-oh my god… please dont die on me stay with me please stay I can't lose you. I'm so sorry please I didn't mean it, I don't want you dead.” He spoke quickly, stuttering after every word he spoke. Tears flowing down your face, you kissed him one last time, leaving a bloody mark on his screen you finally fell into unconsciousness, losing your breath and dying in his arms.

Hope you enjoyed reading, anon!!

(word count = 682)

-xoxo, Ari

#angst #vox x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbinhotel #vox hazbin hotel

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iouinotes · 3 months

Text

Heroic Betrayal | Luke Castellan (part 1)

SPOILER FOR THE PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS SERIES AND THE BOOKS

pairing: Luke Castellan x female!reader

show: Percy Jackson and the Olympians

warnings: dark!character, betrayal, implied sexual content, heavy angst, kidnapping

word count: 5,8k

summary: When Luke switches to the dark side, he tries everything possible to win you for him.

a/n: so as the show comes to an end (dont cry dont cry dont cry), I thought I would finally post this :)))

read part 2 here

"I'll find you!" his voice echoes through the forest, my laughter much louder than I intend to. But that´s just how it always goes. It's our own little tradition.

Every year when the camp starts again and we meet after the holidays passed, we play hide and seek in the dangerous forest of the half-blood camp. The creatures usually don't come across our path, in recent years it has rarely happened, that we actually had to defend ourselves against them.

Once it was an angry dryad, who threw branches at me (she had a crush on Luke and wanted revenge, but since I could understand her feelings and felt sad for her, we sorted it out).

Another time we were spotted by some camp members, who made fun of us, but Luke must have said something to them later, because we haven't been bothered by these troublemakers since.

It is always the same pattern, but each time there is still something special about it. We have grown, became more mature (I think), and have more and more experience about the struggles in life.

So being able to just let go for a few moments and being completely alone with him is probably the best thing to keep myself sane (even if he drives me a little bit crazy with the love I hold for him).

But a lot has changed recently.

It all started when rumors spread, that Zeus' lightning bolt had been stolen by Poseidon's son. And then the most supportive, bravest, sassy kid in the world showed up here. Percy Jackson. Ever since I met him, even though it's not his fault, there's been war going on. The gods are angry, the monster attacks became worse and again, rumors about the oldest, most powerful titan Kronos reached the camp.

It scared and frightened many people, including me. That's why we've been training harder and stay awake, even when the stars are shining, so that we can prepare for any catastrophe. To be able to fight.

My mother is the goddess Demeter, my father a simple man. I adore them both, even though my mother isn't one of my closest contacts. But I never really held that against her, because at least she decided to acknowledge me as her daughter. After all, it's a privilege that not everyone gets. My siblings and friends at camp are important to me, but the world is changing and so is everything around it.

The only stability I have left is my boyfriend Luke.

If I had to rely on one person in the whole world (and by that I also mean the underworld), it would be him.

He's been my best friend since I arrived at this camp. We've been together through ups and downs, I know every side of him and he knows everything about me too. Many of the people here are like blank pages to me, but not him. He is like my favorite book, that lays open to me and allows me to read each letter individually. Just as I know every of his dreams, every secret, every truth and every lie. He is my protector, my hero in every dark night and every bright day. Without him, I don't even know who I am. He is a part of me and my heart wouldn't be whole without him.

I watched him grow up. From the small, thin boy whose eyes hid so much pain and sadness to the strong, soulful leader he is today.

His beauty cannot be influenced by anything, he is like my very own sun, without him I could not survive.

I wouldn't want it any other way though.

Now, I'm hiding behind a tree with my back pressed against the bark and I am able to hear the cracking and swinging of the branches.

I smile so wide, that my cheeks start to hurt, when I hear his voice calling. My heart is beating in my throat, but it's not just the adrenaline of not getting caught. It's because of my love for him, which is so strong that sometimes I'm afraid of it. But only in the moments when I realize that nothing, but him is my biggest flaw. I think I would do anything for him.

Then I concentrate again and listen to the sounds around me. But his voice has fallen silent and I don't hear his footsteps anymore.

My eyebrows furrow, confused I try to look around the tree and search for an orange t-shirt. Likely together with his slim body, biceps, beautiful face and wonderful personality.

But when I want to withdraw again, it's already too late. A branch breaks behind me and before I can move I'm pushed against the tree from behind.

I immediately feel his body against mine, hear the laughter in his voice and listen to his strained breathing. His hands wrap around my body and turn me towards him, so that we are now face to face.

He's taller than me and as I look up, I feel the familiar fluttering feeling in my chest. I am so in love with him.

He grins triumphantly at me and I lean against the tree, smiling kindly.

"Found you, princess." The light reflects in his brown eyes and some of his curls are laying wildly on his head. He looks like an angel.

"I made it easy for you." My voice teases him and when he leans in so close to me, that our lips almost touch, I forget how to think properly. A habit I can't change. He's just so captivating.

"Yeah? You think I wouldn't have found you otherwise? Funny. I remember that in the last few years, I always was the winner of our little game." His lips brush mine, I want nothing more than to kiss him. But he knows that, which is why he slowly pulls back, when I start to lean forward.

When I want to complain, he puts his hand around my waist and pulls me into his chest. My knees almost give out, I feel so intoxicated by his presence.

"I-I wanted you to find me." My voice whispers quietly.

His eyebrows rise in mock surprise.

"Then I guess, I can claim my prize without feeling bad." In the next second, his lips are on mine and I'm unable to do anything, other than kissing him back. I wrap my arms around his neck and enjoy the warmth that radiates from him. He sets my heart on fire.

While pushing me against the tree, I've completely forgotten about, he lets his hands wrap possessively around my waist. Digging his nails into my hips, to keep me grounded. Otherwise, I would probably get lost in those sensations.

Luke kisses in a way, like it's the last time he'll have the chance. (As if I would ever want to keep him from doing that).

He's passionate, my body feels like it's on fire and the heat inside me feels so good, that I want more. I can never get enough of him and he knows it. He grins against my lips, but he doesn't break the kiss. I think he secretely loves knowing how much he can mess with me, with just a few kisses.

My hands find his hair and pull him closer to me, our chests touch and his breathing mingles with mine.

It is wonderful and so precious, I would refuse any gift from the gods just to be close to him.

When he pulls away from me, our bodies are still close. My eyes open and look dreamily into his, our gazes reflect a familiarity and love that is like nothing I have ever experienced.

He smiles at me, pushes a stray strand of hair behind my ear and leans himself against me. His fingers stroke the exposed skin of my pulled-up shirt.

"I've missed you." If my heart hasn't melted before, it has now. I give him a kiss on the cheek and hug him, we stand in our embrace for a moment. Enjoying each other's closeness, the calm feeling until the next chaotic situation happens.

"Now we are together again. Only that matters." It's quiet around us and when I close my eyes for the second time, I hear his fast heartbeat. I have to supress a smile.

The wind is the only thing I hear until his voice breaks the silence.

"Something will happen soon. Something big." The peaceful atmosphere is threatened by his words and when I look at his face again, I see his worried eyes.

I sigh, but then nod to agree with him. "I thought about that too, it feels different. Like something is coming our way, that we can't control."

His fingers stroke my cheek and for a moment, his face holds an expression, that I can't understand. It resembles regret.

But before I can ask him about it, he smiles tenderly at me again.

"Nothing will separate us. The world is just a game. It's a matter of time and making the right moves." That is his motto. But I'm not always convinced of this. Even though I trust him to do the right thing.

"I'm just worried we'll get seperated, you know? Evil can be sneaky and traitors always exist. You never know who you can trust." Something I said must have really bothered him, because he looks like I just stabbed him.

This time I ask him about it.

"What's on your mind? You can tell me. Two people who worry about something are better, than one who is alone with it." I take his hand and stroke his skin, it feels cold even though we have summer.

"Nothing, just- I don't want to lose you. I couldn't be here without you. I need you. I mean...I-I love you. You know that I would do anything to keep us together, right?"

His words surprise me. I know he loves me. I can sense that, everyone probably does. But he has never worn his heart on his sleeve and the three magical words only come out of his mouth on special occasions. The fact that he's telling me now surprises me.

"Of course. I trust you. We will survive together, I know that. Are you worried because of the rumors about the Titan King?" This topic is always very critical and he usually doesn't like to talk about it, but this time I decide to address it directly.

"He will come. I just want you to be safe, when it happens." He sounds so confident it gives me goosebumps.

"Perhaps. His followers will definitely try. But love is stronger than anything else. Especially our love. We will get through it." He doesn't look convinced, so I turn his face towards mine and kiss him.

My voice sounds soft, when I speak again.

"Luke, I love you. I could never leave you. Not even the King of the Underworld will be able to keep us apart. I promised to be by your side in every moment of our lives. You are my soul and without it I am damned."

This seems to reassure him, but I feel like he's not telling me something of great importance. But I don't want to push him, I know he will tell me when the time comes.

He always does.

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

As the day comes to an end, I say goodnight to my siblings and report for my night watch duty. The situation has been a lot more worse the recent weeks. Kronos exists, my worst fear was confirmed. And he is building an army, that is so strong that it will be difficult to fight against it. But what I'm really worried about are the rumors about our people, who have also joined his cause.

Nobody knows who, the spies have been hiding ever since. I've never felt like I was paying more attention to my words than I am now. The only person I don't have to hold back to is Luke.

But even with him I notice the effects of the bad news. The circles under his eyes are darker than ever and his nerves are so frayed, that every little thing makes him want to explode. His temper is hanging by a thread, that is increasingly threatening to break. And I'm trying everything to prevent this.

No matter if I try it by making him laugh (which has become difficult), massaging his tense shoulders, trying to kiss him to the point of forgetfulness (usually it's the other way around) or when he takes out his frustration by burying himself deep inside me. With every thrust of his hips, I feel him relax, his hand so tight around my body as if I would run away, if he didn't hold me close enough.

He's changing and I'm trying my best to maintain his good sides. That he doesn't completely lose himself in his responsibilities and the pressure, that he has, because he is a member of the camp council.

Besides, I can't complain, when he fucks me until I can't breathe aynmore and I block out everything around me. When he comes, he whispers the sweetest things in my ear. Even if sometimes they sound so protective, that I could almost come from his voice alone.

When he whispers to me how good I am for him or how much he loves being able to have such a power over me like that - maybe it should scare me, but I trust him like no one else.

My mind concentrated his best for my shift, but when I finally go to bed after quiet some time, my eyes quickly close.

Looking back, I wish I had never let myself sleep that night.

Because, when I close my eyes I see waves. Hear the seagulls screaming in the sky, the fish swimming in the water and the distant cries of strangers.

It's all unusual and the bright light would blind me, if I didn't avert my gaze. And as soon as I do it, I see a ship. It's huge, rust shimmers in the sunrays, the anchor shows that it's been in the same place for a while now.

I feel something pulling me towards it, pushing and burning in my chest, leaving me with a tremor that I can feel, even in my deep sleep.

As I flit through the window like a ghost, I feel paralyzed. My blood freezes, I want to disappear immediately and in my mind I scream at myself to wake up.

But it's no use, whatever is here, someone decided that I have to see it. Only then, my wish will be fulfilled and I can wake up. So, I hide in a corner, there are scratched picture frames above me and broken glass is scattered on the floor. The monsters that loudly crush the glass ahead of me seem unstoppable.

I tremble as I look at at least seven dracaenae, several shaggy hellhounds and set my eyes on gigantes, that take up almost the entire room.

But that is nothing compared to the terror, that grips me when I see my classmates. My friends. People I trusted, who I fought alongside, for who I cared about. People I would have sacrificed myself for. They all betrayed me. And I feel close to tears. When I want to turn away, I hear a voice that almost brings me to my knees.

It's Luke.

My faithful and caring protector, my heroic love. Someone, to which I had dedicated everything. He was my life, with every single breath I took. The motivation behind my every action. The reason I wanted to survive in this cruel world. He was everything I had and everything I will ever have and in that moment it was abruptly taken from me.

I didn't have the strength to concentrate, it was as if every fiber of my body was on fire, triggered by the torment of my suffering heart. Seeing him like that, in black armor, Kronos' silver mark glittering around his neck, instead of his colorful necklace. A stoic, hostile expression on his face, his hands gripping his sword, it all hurt too much to watch.

And as I sank to the floor and covered my eyes with my hands, I was still forced to listen. I couldn't understand why he was saying such things.

"With every day he becomes stronger, with every participation in our army, we become stronger. Everything is planned, the camp is weak. Just like all of its residents. The surprise is on our side, because we will show no mercy. We will kill anyone, who does not confess to us. Do you hear me? No hostages will be taken. Only Hades population will be expanded."

The screams around me are so loud, so angry and horrific that I feel tears running down my cheeks.

I don't want to see any of that. The person infront of me is not my Luke.

A kind of fog creeps around me and I feel cold, it seems too late to forget it now. When I notice the golden coffin and Lukes hunched posture, the scar on the side of his face, I realize he is praying to him.

To the fall of Olympus. Kronos.

I want to cry, to scream, to be angry - but I just feel like every part of my heart is breaking and will never be whole again. Luke will never again be the one to heal it.

My consciousness leaves the ship until I finally wake up, but I can't move at first. I feel lost, my muscles are stiff and after a few seconds I notice that I'm shaking. But it's not because I'm cold, the summer air is wafting in the air.

Such dreams are rare, but are like the own scary predictions of the future.

And then it comes all back so me, the memories, that have just turned my whole life upside down. Traitor. The word appears in my mind, I feel like I almost can't breathe. And then there is a finger on my cheek, gently stroking the skin and my chest immediately becomes warm.

I know this gesture.

When I open my eyes, I see his loving eyes and the smile that covers his mouth makes my heart clench in sorrow.

It was just a nightmare. Luke would never betray me.

But the whispers in my head say otherwise.

As we continue to look at each other in silent, I notice his furrowed eyebrows.

"What's wrong, my love? Did you have a nightmare? You look scared. Don't be afraid, I'm here. I will always protect you." His voice is so calm, so usual loving and it makes the butterflies in my stomach fly around like crazy.

He is so beautiful.

As he briefly turns his head to tighten the blanket around me, I see his side profile and the scar. Reminders of my dream crash onto me like a lightning strike from Zeus himself.

I sat up abruptly. Luke is a servant of our enemy. How could I ignore that? I feel like I'm almost starting to hyperventilate. The thought, this nightmare, Luke's appearance, this evil feeling - it makes me sick. And I'm suddenly so afraid, more than I have ever been in my life. But I can't tell if it's the fact that I just found out he joined Cronos' army or that he broke my heart doing so.

I see him tense, my panic seems to be affecting him too.

My thoughts are so confusing, I don't know what to do, I have to tell someone. I have to-

His hands find their way to my cheeks, cupping them gently to direct his gaze towards himself. I would have preferred not to look at him, but I have no choice. His eyes search mine.

Then, as if the weight of Atlas punishment was put on his shoulders, he lowers them. His lips tremble slightly and his eyes look at me, as if I am the most valuable thing in the world and he is about to lose it.

"You know it." He doesn't have to say what he means by that. We both know.

I want to break away from him, but he won't let me. He's always been much stronger.

But everything still feels so different, light surrounds us and I can't really feel my body.

"Listen to me, please. I can explain it. Please-" The world goes silent, before he can finish his sentence.

It is too much.

I stifle a scream. I want to jump out of bed, but his hands hold me close. I only manage to fall to the ground, breathing heavily, but his arms are much stronger and I'm still weakened by my dream. He trys to hold me in a position, so that his back hugs me. His hands grab mine and one of them covers my mouth to silence me, when I want to scream for help.

With any other person, I would have known what to do. With anyone but him, I could have defended myself without any problems. But it wasn't just anyone and what he had done to me, the betrayal he had committed, was nothing I could handle.

I tried to wriggle out of his grip, to kick him, but the more I cried and the more hysterical I became, the easier it was for him to have control over me.

And for the first time, it scared me.

"Please calm down, I have to explain it to you- you have to know, that I never wanted to deceive you, please-" I notice how his voice is failing and he has to pull himself together, to not to lose his composure.

When I shake his hand away and want to yell again, he grabs my neck with such a warning force, that no sound escapes me.

I tremble in his hold. Tears stream down my cheeks and I literally feel my heart breaking.

Then he starts whispering in my ear and his grip feels like a tragic prison.

"Nobody can know. I never wanted you to find out. Not until I convinced you, that it is the right thing to join him. Because he will win, sweetheart. I want us to win by his side." His voice sounds so confident and at the same time, as if he was a completely different person.

Tears continue running down my face and he slightly let's go of me, so he can comfort me.

"If you would just listen to me, you will understand my actions. Please, just listen to me-" but the world blurs infront of my eyes and I am only able to whisper three words, before darkness surrounds me.

"You betrayed me."

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

When I wake up, my head hurts so much, that it takes me several minutes to open my eyes. When I finally do it, I almost have a heart attack.

I recognize the similarity of this room from my dream. When I stand up, I run to the round window and look out, being only able to see the blue sea. Feeling empty and alone.

When I want to step out the door, I expect it to be locked. But instead the handle turns and I step out of the room. I'm so surprised about that, that I'm acting without thinking twice.

As I walk around the next corner, the deck creaks and I see an ugly creature in front of me, that makes every instinct to escape kick in.

I run in the other direction, but every turn makes me more desperate and, without any consideration, I run into the hall, I was so afraid of.

It is filled with all kinds of ciders, and I also see the figures of my classmates, wounded and unhappy.

It's all so overwhelming, that I dont even see him standing on the podium, in the first place.

But as the monsters try to grab me, his voice echoes through the room with an affable authority.

"Nobody touches her. You hear me? Nobody. She is under my protection." I almost freeze into a stature, as he comes towards me and I have no way of avoiding him. No weapon is within my reach, his eyes notice my growing panic.

"Everyone leaves the room. Now." Nobody discusses it, even if some roll their eyes or quietly protest. His authority is unquestioned, it sends a cold shiver down my spine.

When the last doors slam shut, we stand a few meters opposite each other.

"The doors are guarded." It's the first thing he says.

When he tries to approach me, I lose my nerves and run to the corner with the broken glass, that I saw in my dream. I take them in my hands.

I see his eyes widen and he stops in his tracks.

"You- you want to fight me?" He actually sounds surprised and sad. Like I was the one who betrayed him and not the other way around.

"Don't come any closer. I may not have been able to do anything last time, but if you take one step closer then-" I don't know what to say. In no scenario did I ever think, I would have to threaten him.

But despite my warning, he comes towards me with his hands raised, the panic within me so palpable, that I can feel every muscle in my body.

I dodge, when he is only a few meters in front of me. Right into the next corner. As far away from him as possible.

"Princess, you can't keep me away forever. I've always loved that about you. You need me as much as you need to breathe."

It's supposed to sound sweet, but his words make me feel sick

"I'd rather suffocate." He didn't expect that. My words hit him so unexpectedly that he is almost speechless. Almost.

"I won't hurt you. You just have to let me get to you and I'll show you everything. You will understand, believe me." He really thinks, I'll just stay by his side and let him explain.

"Are you crazy? You're a traitor, Luke. You- you betrayed everyone. You betrayed me. How could you do this?" I suppress my tears, because that's exactly what he's waiting for. That my defense becomes weaker. I can't allow this.

"You dont understand. I always told you I would protect you. And I can only do that, if I'm on the winning side. And I am now. We are." His eyes flash with a craziness that makes me tremble. I don't recognize him.

"Why are you acting this way? You are doing the wrong thing - you give up everything. You're giving up on us." Tears leave my eyes and I see him take a few steps in my direction.

"I'm doing the right thing for us. You'll see. You just have to trust me, please. You know I always win. With the power he gives me, I will be invincible. You don't have to worry about one of us dying in this war anymore." I can't move, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have a way out now. He's too close.

"You are wrong. I would rather die in this war than join this monster and his deceitful army." The shards in my hand hurt, but I don't let them go. They're the only thing I can use to defend myself.

"You would leave me?" His eyes are staring into my soul.

"Would you fight me?" Every word is more intimidating.

"Would you stop loving me?" His words are like his own shards, leaving deep wounds in my heart.

He's standing right in front of me now, looking at me like I'm fragile.

Then he whispers "Would you kill me?"

In the next second, he suddenly has my hands in his, making me drop the glass. Be is only a few centimeters away from me now, his eyes are looking into my own.

"Would you, princess? Then show me." Suddenly he does something, I would have never expected. He takes out his sword and puts it in my hands.

His own hands go behind his back, his eyes tempting me. I feel all the blood in my body drain.

"Do it. I can't live in a world, where you don't love me anymore. In which you are no longer by my side. I am yours. That will never change, just like my love for you."

I can barely hold the sword, it's so wobbly in my hands. He stands in front of me and gives me every chance to defeat him. But I can't move.

It's quiet for a moment, then I see new hope in his eyes and when he speaks again, the tone of his voice melts my heart.

"What did you say a few months ago, you would always let me win? Let's win together this time. Please, just listen to me." His hand strokes my cheek. Wipes away the tears.

Then he drops his hand and grasps his sword, letting it fall to the ground.

He takes my hand instead.

"Follow me." He pulls me behind him, closer and closer to the golden coffin, it's like I'm in a trance, but when I finally feel the cold aura of something cruel, I'm able to think clearly again.

"No-" I don't want to be one step closer to this thing.

He turns around so quickly, that I can only slap his cheek, before he grabs me again.

"That was for kidnapping me. Let me go now!" I want to avoid his grasp. But again he does something I don't expect.

He holds me still, catches my gaze and then, kisses me so gently that the feeling alone makes me almost completely defenseless. His hands cup my cheeks, grip my hair, hold my body.

This is probably his worst trick. I've never been able to resist one of his kisses. And he knows that. He uses it against me.

Then he murmurs words against my lips, that barely reach my ears.

My heart is pounding in my throat.

"You feel this? We belong together. It is not written anywhere on which side we need to be. As long as we are together." His fingers stroke my lower lip, his figure towers over me and for a moment my surroundings fade. It's almost like always.

But he's not wearing his orange t-shirt, his expression isn't relaxed, and I don't hear any insults from the camp members in the distance.

"You're manipulating me." I am powerless against him. I thought we were on the same team, that no one had more power over the other one. But I was so wrong.

His eyebrows furrow again, and when his hands try to pull me against him, I hit his chest, without thinking, with the only piece of glass I hid in my pocket. But unlike I expected, nothing happens. The shard bounces off his skin and falls loudly to the ground. I can only stare at him in disbelief.

"How-" He just looks at me worried, no anger is visible in his eyes.

"You can't hurt me. I have the curse of Achilles upon me." I suddenly become aware of the effect the lake Styx in the underworld hast and I almost fall to the ground at the realization, my knees weaken.

"That was a test earlier. You wanted to see if I would kill you-" my voice fails.

He just looks at me sadly and smiles in regret. My heart becomes heavy.

"And I knew you wouldn't hurt me on purpose. You would never hurt someone you love. Not if you'd kill me in the process." What can I do? He knows me better than anyone, he can see right through my every thought.

"I can't do this, Luke. I-I can't be together with you, if you are like this." I'm serious, but he doesn't believe me.

"That's what you think, but it's a lie. The sooner you admit it to yourself, the more pain you avoid. Our souls are linked together, without me you are not able to live. I know, that you will continue to love me, no matter what I decide to do. That's how much you love me. You would rather die than not loving me."

I can't listen to him. I can't.

But his eyes are like all the promises in the world. He is my world. How could I ever forget that?

"Please come back with me, Luke. I-I won't tell anyone, but please. Let's go, let's forget everything, please-" I cant deal with this anymore. It's like he's draining all the energy out of me. More with every word, that leaves his lips.

"I can not do that. It will stay the way it is now. Don't fight against me, fight with me. You are so smart and loyal, you will be convinced. He will show you." His eyes now flash with something that frightens me. I see his hunger for power, something that has always been dormant within him.

"Luke, the only thing I ever really wanted was you. No power, no war, no prosperity. Only you. But I'm about to lose you. Don´t do this to me, I beg you." My hands find his face, stroke the skin and I look into his eyes. But they are no longer the same ones I fell in love with.

I never thought he would love having power more than he loves me. It breaks my heart.

"I have decided. Nothing will change about that. Not even your pleadings. I'm sorry." His eyes reflect my desperation.

"What's holding you back? All you need is me." He says it so confident, that I almost wonder, why I don´t agree with him.

But my conscience has always been my greatest strength.

"I won't betray them. I couldn't live with myself, if I did." He takes a step back.

"But you could live without me? You would rather be by Jackson's side than mine?" His words hurt me. But he speaks the truth.

"I love you Luke, more than I ever thought was possible. But just as you put power before me, I put loyalty first. And I'm not sorry about that."

Frustration finally seeps through his perfect facade. I wonder how long he's been playing with me. The thought of it makes everything inside me tighten.

"I am not letting you go. Our fate is set. You will recognize it too and when that happens, you will be on my side."

His conviction frightens me, but this time it doesn't freeze me into a statue. Now, I'm running away.

And luckely, he didn't expect that.

For a few minutes now I've noticed one of the windows, that doesn't look very stable. I just have to jump against it to open it.

"NO!" Luke's voice echoes across the room, loud and warning, but it doesn't stop me. Before he can catch up with me, I jump towards the window, my shoulder hurts, but I was right, it breaks.

But I didn't think about the height difference and I realize it might be too late to do something about it now.

As I try to hold on to the wall outside, two thoughts repeat in my mind.

Either I die or I'm trapped.

Then I hear Luke's voice. He sounds desperate and at the same time angry, like I have never heard him before.

The wall is slippery and it takes every bit of strength in me not to fall, I know it would be my death. I hold on to the broken wall.

"She is outside. Get her back, NOW!" My muscles hurt and I don't know what to do. Then I hear the loud beating of wings. Before I can see who it is, I hear Percy's quiet voice. I feel like crying.

"Drop down, I've got you." I have to trust him. So, I let myself fall without thinking.

Then I feel myself landing on something soft, I hold on to it and my knuckles turn white.

The screams and shouts of the monsters make me tremble, I just want to get out of here. Even if it means, that I perhaps will never see Luke again.

"Come on, now. They'll be here soon." As the wings of the Pegasus move towards the sky, towards freedom, I let the tears fall. The wind is beating around my ears and I can only see in the corner of my eyes that we are getting closer to the clouds.

Luke's threatening voice is the last thing I remember as I close my eyes from the grief of leaving him.

#percy jackon and the olympians #luke castellan #x reader #greek gods #love #betrayal #angst #percy pjo #percy series #annabeth chase #percy jackson

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mewguca · 10 months

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I was thinking about how people should talk more about the parallels between hunter and moon

This is a rather self-indulgent piece...I find it very comforting to be able to express my emotions through a media I love like this...that's probably my favorite thing about art. Being able to express something...being able to connect emotionally with the viewer...is really nice

textless versions and a long rambling under the cut

Hunter is often viewed as a very strong and agile slugcat...they are the "hard mode" after all. Hunter probably has a lot of physical prowess. But, with the rot...they become weaker. At its worst, they struggle to do basic movements...until they eventually die. Of course, in my version of events...Hunter's rot is cured, but it still leaves lasting side-effects. Their scars go beyond simple battle wounds...there's a sort of pervasive sickliness throughout their whole body. Treatment helps, of course...but

You know how that is, right...? You have to keep getting treatments. You have to work for your recovery. And you have to work to prevent your body from getting weaker again...Or y'know, that's how it is if you've ever had any reoccurring or chronic health issues. It's...a struggle I feel like doesn't get expressed very often...so I wanted to express it through my version of Hunter.

Even though Moon isn't anywhere near as organic, I feel like she can relate to similar struggles. She used to be like a god...a powerful supercomputer who could do just about anything! But...she couldn't bring herself to do the one thing that'd preserve her own wellbeing. She delays and delays on forcing Pebbles to stop with her administrative powers until it is far too late...

Maybe she thought she could handle it. That everything would be fine if she just waited for Pebbles to understand...or waited for him to stop. If she just kept sending messages, eventually he would listen.

But he didn't. Things didn't get better. And by the time she finally took action against it, it was too late...her forced communications did nothing but make her brother furious with her...because she "ruined everything." She could only accept her imminent collapse...

When she woke up again, she had only a few neurons left to run on. Her umbilical was broken, her overseers were out of her control, and even the roof over her head was incomplete.

She couldn't do most of the things she used to. She could hardly move. She could hardly even think. She could barely remember who or what she used to be...and she didn't have great ability to remember the present, either.

It must have been really painful...but she keeps doing what she can anyways. She reads the pearls you bring her. She tells you about the items you bring. She gives you information as best as she can. She is kind and hospitable. She encourages you. She could be so bitter and depressed...so resentful and cruel...but she isn't. I'm sure she has plenty of bitterness and resentment, plenty of hopelessness and great sadness, plenty of suffering...

But when she sees the little slugcat, she's still kind to it. She is grateful for what she has. She is happy to see you. And she keeps on living.

She's so strong...she is a huge inspiration for me.

So, I think if anyone could relate to Hunter's struggle...Moon is probably the closest. I think people should talk about their relationship more...after all, Hunter is her "little savior." I think they would be wonderfully close. They could support each other in their struggles to keep living, even if their bodies fight against them. I also think their friendship is just cute! Great potential for angst, for fluff, for comfort...idk. everything, really. It would be wonderful for them to reunite when they're both in better shape...as creatives, we can make a versions of events where that happens. It's really wonderful to me...for a work of art to inspire others to create art because of it.

This game means a lot to me...and it means a lot to me that it resonates so much with other people as well. So, thank you...

#rain world #egg art #eggmoon creations #looks to the moon #rw hunter #angst #comfort #rambled eggs #eggmoon's rain world

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herlondonboy · 1 year

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The Words I Could Never say

Pairings: Wednesday Addams x reader

Summary: being alone by choice is nicer than being alone by chance.

Warnings: first person (Wednesday’s perspective), probably spelling mistakes, angst.

Word Count: 0.6k

“Every time I see you I feel more alone.” Your words rang though my head. I truly had loved you, but just didn’t know how to show it. Turns out getting the person you’re in love with nearly killed isn’t a good look. Anger overtook the both of us. Anger and fear. Harsh words were thrown to and fro. It was like watching a tennis match.

“You don’t pay any attention to me, Wednesday.” That’s a lie. I payed more than enough attention to you. I knew that when you were confused there were two wrinkles between your eyebrows, but when you were sad there were for. I knew your favourite colours and clothes to wear. I knew to give you the teaspoons rather than the dinner spoons because you didn’t like how they felt in your hand.

“I tell you I love you and you don’t say it back.” I may not say it, but I show it. I left your favourite snacks on your bedside table when you were sick. I play your favourite songs on my cello and teaches you how to play them too. I let you hug me even though I hate physical contact, because it makes you happy. I’d watch you sleeping and murmur ‘I adore you more than you would ever know’ because it was true. My love for you couldn’t be squashed into small words people think mean something.

“You promised me we wouldn’t get hurt!” That was true. I hadn’t anticipated on The Hyde knowing our exact whereabouts, but it did and the maroon scar going from your eyebrow to your cheek proved it. Not to mention the broken arm and gashes along your chest.

“Did you ever even care?” Of course I cared. How could I not? You were everything I have ever wanted and more. You were the lighthouse guiding me to land safely. The star, the sun and the moon in the endless world we call a sky. Why don’t you understand? The words are lodged in my throat as you scream at me. All the words I want to say, stuck, pushing themselves back down.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen, y/n.” Was all I managed to spit out. I was holding back tears. God, why did you have to make me feel these things in my heart. The look on your face was uncanny. You didn’t even look like yourself. Oh, my sweet, sweet sunshine. What have I done to you? The veins popped out of your neck and forehead and I suddenly realised that maybe that was the wrong thing to say. The right thing to say was nothing.

“You know what, Wednesday? I’m done. We’re done.” What hurt the most was that you didn’t cry nor look back. You didn’t regret your words the day after. You didn’t come back. There was no good morning kiss to wake up to. No one wondering if I had pleasant nightmares whilst I was asleep. I was alone, but now it hurt more than ever.

Being alone once brought me a happiness I couldn’t describe, but now it brings me bad memories I can’t begin to like. Everything hurts. And not a good pain. I thought dying would be fun, but this? This was awful. Why did I tell you to come? I was alone before for a reason. Being alone by choice will forever be far better than being alone by chance.

I will forever be haunted by the words I could never say.

#wednesday addams x reader #wednesday addams x you #wednesday x you #wednesday netflix #wednesday tim burton #wednesday the series #wednesday tv show #wednesday x reader #wednesday addams #wednesday #wednesday Addams angst #wednesday addams fanfic #Wednesday Addams one shot #please read because I need validation 🙏#elijah writes

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lixxpix · 3 months

Text

happiness looks good on you- lee felix

summary: you love felix, but he doesn't love you back.

warnings: sad ending, angst!

author's notes: hi everyone<3 this is my first fic, kinda wrote this at like 3am on a whim instead of sleeping but like😭 idk why i made this so sad (is this a sign im depressed or something) but hope u enjoy!! please to comment ur user if u want to be tagged in this or my future posts<3

"happiness looks good on you."

raging storms and unshed tears.

"happiness looks good on you."

heartbreak and rainy days.

"hurry up lix, we're going to be late," you complained, brow furrowed as you stuck your bottom lip out in a pout.

"if you really want to go to school that early just walk there yourself." felix taunted, knowing you were scared to walk alone. he was your long-term best friend, inseparable since kindergarten 'til today.

the two of you argued and bickered on the way to school, throwing insults at each other. by the time the both of you had gotten to school, you were both given a scolding and told to sit down. you glared at him as you were being scolded while he just snickered.

the audacity of this man, honestly .

by the time class had finished, you had cooled down, just like felix knew you would. otherwise, he could just stick out his bottom lip while you huffed and pretended to be mad.

"y/n!" he gasped, clutching at your arm, "areum just looked at me!"

he squealed, like a little kid at the toy shop, over his long time crush.

if only you looked at me in that way.

because i do.

"nah, she probably was just looking at someone else." you lied through your teeth, feeling your heart sink.

"hey, stop being mean!! she clearly looked at me," he pouted.

you sighed.

i've loved you for years and you've never noticed.

"well just confess to her already then."

it was painful watching your own crush and best friend fall for someone else, someone that wasn't you.

you wished, rather selfishly, that areum would reject him. then you could be the shoulder he would cry on. not her. but honestly, you couldn't bring yourself to hate her. what was to hate? she was pretty, got good marks, and was friendly and easygoing. not to say you yourself weren't pretty, but you just weren't as pretty and hardworking as her.

and you weren't the one he wanted.

maybe the pain would end if they just ended up together and you were out of the picture. it was obvious she liked him too.

"you really think i should? but what if i get rejected..."

you're so blind but i still love you.

"yes, how many times do i have to say this, she likes you. it's obvious." you rolled your eyes.

"should i just confess tomorrow? better late than never..." he trailed off, worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth.

gods you look so cute when you do that.

"yeah. get her some flowers and write her a note."

why were you breaking your own heart? you didn't know why. maybe you just wanted to end your own heartbreak.

"good luck with that, anyways i need to go to s house for a project." you actually didn't, but you would do anything to just escape from this.

"why~~are you really just going to leave me alone to plan my big confession by myself," he whined.

"sorry lix, but you'll figure it out." ruffling his hair, you walked out the classroom.

you did, in fact, go home. then sat on your bed and cried until you couldn't physically squeeze any more tears out of you. so this was what heartbreak felt like. you had known him since the both of you were ten. you had have multiple crushes here and there, but they were just passing, fleeting moments, nothing of importance. until him.

you didn't know when you had first started to like him. maybe it was that time in the library where he was helping the librarian stack books. maybe it was that time in the rain where he danced in it for hours.

maybe it was one summer day where your world just exploded in colours.

and now it felt like it was fading back to grey.

the next day, felix came bouncing up to you.

"i got her peonies, do you think she'll like it? i told her to meet me in the garden."

"yeah, she'll definitely like it. i would've too... " you muttered the last part all to yourself, turning away and blinking rapidly as tears threatened to prick your eyes. you offered him a smile of encouragement.

"good luck."

when lunch came, you watched as the nervous australian carried the peonies and went to the garden.

then you watched as they walked in ten minutes later, smiling bashfully and holding hands like schoolchildren in love.

because they were.

you went home, not even bothering to call in sick. you just grabbed your bag and went home. you would deal with the consequences later.

your heart hurt.

you were numb.

you were hollow.

you were crying.

you hated everything.

the next few days were spent at home. you called in sick. felix texted you countless times but you ignored him.

lixie<3

y/nie?

where r u?

she accepted!!!

im so happy>.<

read at 2:03 a.m.

yeah, right. good for you. but what about me?

lixie<3

...hello?

y/n?

can u please respond...

im worried...

what happened???

why didn't you come to school today??

read at 3:46 p.m.

you turned off your phone then turned over and cried again. you hated this. why did you have to fall for him in the first place?

finally, after four days of missed calls, texts, and school, you had to go back. its not like you had a choice anyways. you missed your parents. they lived overseas though, so you lived alone. but you really couldn't continue living like this for the rest of your life, even if you wanted to.

"y/nie!!!" felix exclaimed, running up to you. "why didn't you respond to my texts? are you okay? it's unlike you..."

"im sorry lix, i was just under the weather. im ok." you offered him a tight lipped smile. "congrats by the way." you closed your locker door and rushed off before he could ask you anything more.

"huh? thats unlike her... why is she acting so weird lately?"

and so you avoided him, as much as you could. you kept your conversations short and brief, not talking to him as much as possible, and even switching seats to sit far away from him. you watched his hurt face the day he walked in and saw you sitting somewhere else, but then cheering up as areum sat next to him. you watched as he laughed and held hands, ate tteokbokki and ramen with her in the cafeteria. that should've been me.

but honestly, it did nothing to fill the felix-sized hole in your heart.

you drifted apart. he barely texted you now, barely said hi to you, barely even saw you in the hallways anymore.

then exams were finished, and graduation started to roll around.

you watched as they attended prom and twirled around on the dance floor giggling.

you watched as they broke up on the doorstep of his dorms, watching as felix's face fell when she dumped him for another guy.

you didn't have the heart to tell him i told you so.

so you busied yourself in your exams, earning a scholarship to your dream university. felix tried reaching out to you several times to rekindle your old friendship, but you would always politely decline, preferring to be detached instead of going through more heartbreak.

you still loved him, but the once burning passion had now been reduced to a soft flicker every now and then, sparking ever so slightly whenever you saw him in the corridors. your own felix-shaped hole in your heart hadn't decreased over the years, but your heart became bigger, expanding so that other people could fit in it. the hole would always be there, but at least there was space for healing.

you turned around in the backseat of your friends' car to see the campus you had once called home fading away into the distance and felix along with it.

goodbye, the wind whispered.

"happiness looks good on you, lix. i hope you make the best of it."

#lee felix x reader #felix x reader #skz x reader #skz #stray kids #gn reader #angst #sad ending #lee felix #high school au #heartbreak #lost love #heartache #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x gender neutral reader #stray kids x you

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r3starttt · 3 months

Text

Mizpah

a/n: last part of Don’t delete the kisses (most likely) This series was all I’ve ever wanted to make. I’m so proud of myself 🙁🤞

Prt 1 | Prt 2 | Prt 3

Warnings: little bit of angst ig? fluff. mentions of homophobia. Sad-soft sex!!! don’t need details just read it (oral r! receiving. fingering e! receiving. scissoring)

“With eyes shut its you I’m thinking of. Eye to eye, thigh to thigh. I let go”

“I’d like to take you out

And afterwards make out

Instead, I’m typing you a message

Delete the kisses at the end

When I see you the whole world reduces

To just a room

Me and you were meant to be

In love

I see the sighs of a lifetime, you ‘til I die”

It had been a week since you last saw Ellie. A week of you crying nonstop every single day, all day. A week of trying to ignore her messages and calls and going out just to not see her or know anything about her.

Not because you hate her, not because the pain she made you feel that day. But because all she confessed.

You feared you could have a bad impact for her and her life and maybe that’s why you two just can’t be together.

And you feared that it you were right then something bad could happen to her if you tried to force this whole situation.

Because you’ve never loved somebody this much and she’s never felt this loved. And you two were just made for each other in all possible ways but maybe it was all a cruel trick from the universe. Maybe it was some sort of karma you had to pay. Some sort of temptation god was giving you.

And as much as you wanted to just give in, you didn’t want Ellie to pay for your decisions anymore. Not her or her family.

You were just as confused and mad as she was. And it took you so long to figure out what to do and how to do it.

Should you move out again and pretend nothing happened? Should you stay and just avoid her? Were you even something oficial? Could you ask her to brake up if that was the case?

The moment you opened the door, before you could even react or speak or even blink. Her arm’s extended around you, so tightly and desperately.

As you could you extended your arms to close the door.

“I’m so sorry, so so sorry. Please forgive me” her teary voice felt like bullets on your skin. It was so painful to see her like this, to know that she’s like this because of you.

“Ellie…. It’s okay, we’re good” your hands moved gently over her back, making small circles with both your thumbs and palms.

“I don’t want to lose you again, please don’t leave me” but what if leaving her was what’s best for both?

“We can’t stay together El, you know that” were you too harsh?

She practically pushed you away. Her eyes were all red and puffy, she’d been crying probably as much as you.

“What do you mean?” the way her tone changed so suddenly made you regret it all, but you couldn’t do that just now “There’s always something separating us, keeping us apart. Maybe we’re not supposed to be together”

She denied your words with her head, stepping closer to you. “We’re just supposed to fight harder”

“Ellie, if I stay with you then your family’s gonna-“

“I already chose you over them, you can’t do this”

She was right

“Is it because of what I say? I was being stupid I know, I didn’t understand but now I do and I’m so sorry I called you all those things. I care for you but I was so mad at being left alone I didn’t realize it would’ve been selfish If I made you stay. I didn’t realize about how much you’ve done for me.” the grip of her hands shaky hands entangled with yours got tighter. She looked so desperate, she was holding you desperately. “And I wanna make it up to you, I wanna stay with you and take care of you and accomplish everything we couldn’t before”

Everything you’ve been planning for a whole week was completely erased from you by her words. How could you even think of leaving her again? How could you choose anything else than to be with her?

Maybe that’s why you never end together, because your love for her is so strong that you get blinded by it and just run away. Because her love for you is so strong that she can’t let you go and when you do she can’t forgive herself.

Because your bond is so strong none of you know how to handle it.

You let go of her hands, moving yours to her face. Your thumbs moving against her red tainted cheeks, making small circles on each side of her face. Your eyes lost, wandering all over her face. Looking at her pretty watery eyes, her nose and cheeks covered in those freckles you adored so much, and her chapped lips, so tempting.

The urge was bigger than anything else, so your lips crashed on hers. Both felt so eager of each other, desperate to feel each other’s touch, the softness of your bodies together. You missed the way her body fitted so perfectly against yours. She missed the way her body was the perfect size for yours.

But as much as there was urge and a carnal desire that screamed desperately to be full-filled, you still needed to apologize, to let her know you would never leave. And she still needed the comfort, the reassurance she’s been waiting for her whole life.

So your lips pressed against her one las time.

“You did nothing wrong, none of us did” your breaths were mixing, brushing each others lips “I promise you…. I won’t leave again, I know none of us will”

Ellie felt so dizzy, so enamored. Your words were all the comforting she’d been craving for so long. It felt like a direct hug to her heart, like a cure to all worries she could ever have.

So tender. Just what you both needed.

Nothing else mattered anymore, but you and her and the love that could be felt as something tangible. So loud and warm and fuzzy in between the two of you.

Her fingers tugged at the hem of your shirt. Your lips were already dancing with hers, such a merciful hungry rhythm.

Your tongues slowly mixing in between the kiss. Both giving clumsy steps to your room, where she’s never been before but she’d dreamed of it.

Your hands moving all over her back, from her waist to her shoulders, then to her neck and stopping right were her hair ends. Desperate of feeling every inch of her body, of pulling her closer if that was even possible.

Hers, gently getting under your shirt, shyly touching your bare skin and sending shivers to your whole body at the sudden touch of her calloused cold fingers.

Small giggles and smiles appearing in between the kiss. You had your eyes closed but could imagine the dorky expression on her face.

And you both stopped the moment you crashed with your bed, making small laughs come from both of your sticky lips.

“What am I supposed to do now?” a giggle escaped from your mouth, looking straight to her eyes. They had a sparkle you’ve never seen before. And god, her smile just radiated so much love it made you unconsciously dumb, so in love. You whispered back “just let your body figure it out for you”

She obeyed, her hands finally moved to your upper body. Fingers wandering over the costure of your bra. Her lips were pressed on your skin, leaving wet kisses from the corner of your lips to your clavicle. Covering your neck and your jawline in them.

You hummed at her touch. Letting her explore and savor your body first. Your huffed moans reassuring her to take the lead.

“I love you” kiss “so much” kiss. It made you smile.

Her hands slowed moved to your clothes again, taking them off of you with the most precious look you could ever see on her face. And you did the same, removing each piece of clothing that was covering your bodies, leaving the both of you complete bare at the other sight.

The white curtains that adorned the windows of your room letting the radiant rays of sun enter just right, covering you both in such a delicious warm.

She embraced you tightly, guiding you to your bed and making you lay under her body. Her arms pressed in the mattress, right next to you. Her legs intertwined with yours, rubbing them against your skin.

You kissed her again, so gently and pure and making her moan at your touch. Your hands caressing her arms, waiting for her to move at her pleasing.

And she did. Her hands found their way to your thighs, spreading them and moving your legs around her.

She started to grind her clit with yours at a slow speed, trying to find the needy angle for both and the right rhythm. You can feel her nuzzling in your neck, hearing loud moans at every move she makes.

Ellie’s movements slowly started to speed up, making you whimper at the feeling of your sticky and wet cunts rubbing together. She was practically ramming against you at this point.

But right as a knot of pleasure started to form on your stomach she stopped.

She left sloppy kisses on your body as she went down your cunt. Hands gripping around your thighs and eyes roaming in between your body and your pretty face.

Lips licking and kissing your hardened nipples, leaving the wetness of her saliva stick on them. Biting and sucking on your skin, leaving almost unnoticeable bruises all the way to your stomach and around your breasts.

Hands caressing the sides of your legs until she was finally in between them, extending her arms to hold your hands. Her nose rubbing on your clit and her tongue deep in between your folds, moaning at the sweet taste of them and smiling at your pretty whimpers.

She flavored every bit of it. Making small circles around your puffy bud, licking every wet space in between your folds, teasing your arousal and finally rubbing her tongue deep inside you, thrusting her tongue in and out of you repeatedly.

Your room was now filled with loud vulgar and wet sounds, it made the two of you feel so fervent and carnal. So lost in the craving and focused on the pleasure.

Her tongue moved so brusque yet so delicately on your cunt. Making you crave for more of her and causing you to feel overwhelmed at the abruptly wave of pleasure that increased nonstop over your whole body, blinding your vision and thoughts.

"F-Fuck El…. I'm-" your words were interrupted by a strong feeling of ecstasy running through your body, your legs weakened and your stomach felt so tight, covered in a tickling sensation that felt just like a bliss. Her tongue cleaned every juice that came out of your core, so insatiable and still craving for more.

She crawled back to you, leaving a soft kiss on your temple. You smiled at the sight of her lips, covered in your flavor. And her forehead with a small coat of sweat appearing.

To her you looked so fucking gorgeous right now, with a few baby hairs stuck to your forehead, half-lidded eyes that still managed to have that doe look in them. Still trying to catch your breath.

Your hand moved to her cunt now, rubbing small circles on her clit and smiling at the delightful sight you had in front of you. Curved eyebrows, slightly scrunched nose and her mouth partly opened a shuffled moans escaped from them.

She was so wet, so soft. It felt delicious.

You sped up your movements, assaulting her cunt and hitting just the right spots. And god she sounded so pretty, her small whimpers covering your ears and the way her hands tugged tightly on your sheets, running her hands through your hair, so desperate and overwhelmed by pleasure.

The way she clenched around your fingers, the way she felt so wet, the way she tried to rub herself on you, to have more contact with your skin. The way she closed her eyes when your fingers went deeper, the way she bit her lips trying to hush her whimpers. Everything about her right now was so mouth-watering.

So you kissed her, burying your fingers on her core, making her moan at your lips. She tried to speak but your lips pressed in her and the way pleasure was taking all in her body didn’t allow her to. But you understood.

And just like that you thrusted your fingers for the last time, in and out a few more times after she’d came.

But your lips kept pressed on hers, until she had to move away to recover her breath, making you laugh.

She looked so pretty.

And so did you.

#ren moodboards #don’t delete the kisses ִ ۫ ּ 💭 ֙⋆ •#ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie angst #ellie williams angst #ellie smut #ellie williams smut #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader #ren masterlist ᵎᵎ ִ ۫ ּ ⊹

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catsushizz · 12 days

Text

My Belle

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

Warning: fluff at first then just angst, death, grief, major character death (do tell me if I miss something)

Summary: Spencer loves you like it was breathing but what would he do when that source of oxygen is gone?

a/n: first time writing Spencer, I'm a sucker for the angst I hope you like it!

Look how she lights up the sky...

Spencer heard it from a mile away which brought a small smile to his lips, he heard footsteps which isn't surprising that he knew it was yours because of the skip of your steps and that melody you kept humming.

He heard you open the door still humming the song as you took off your shoes. "Hey, Angel," he says lovingly as he greets you by the door.

You smile and kiss him on the cheek "Hello Dr. Handsome" he chuckled at the endearment and engulfed you in a tight hug.

You have been dating for 3 months and Spencer knew he was going too fast by telling you to share an apartment with him but that lingering doubt quickly disappeared as fast as it came when you suggested it yourself.

Spencer knew you were it for him. He knows your favorite movies to your favorite songs he knows almost everything about you actually.

You hummed the song and dragged Spencer to the living room "What got you in such a good mood?" Spencer chuckled.

"Having you all by myself today" you grinned, resting both of your hands on his shoulder. Spencer couldn't stop smiling, he was looking at you fondly, his hand on your waist as if it was meant to be there.

"Let's dance" you whispered, nuzzling your head to his chest "Explain how we are gonna dance with no music-"

"So far above me yet I...know his heart belongs to only me" You smile as you sing the song, you love changing the lyrics, Spencer specifically loves it when you change Evangeline to his name he remembered hearing it for the first time and he couldn't stop thinking about it for months.

"Je t'adore, Je t'aime Spencer" You chuckled at how off-key it was but it didn't matter when you saw that sweet smile of his. You started guiding him to move, your head resting near his heart and his finger stroking circles on your waist as he held you closer. Loving you was something he wished he had done a long time ago, he wished that he was there your whole life.

It became a routine, you dancing with him.

After a bad case, you'd sing for him, and if he was feeling down you'd urge him to stand and dance with him and that always made him forget why he was sad in the first place. He would never get tired of that song or your voice. Whenever you fight it always ends up with both of you in each other's arms and in tangled bed sheets in the morning.

3 months turned into a year and a year turned into 4 years and now you're engaged, his love never withered and neither did yours.

his team always asked him how he got so lucky he didn't know the answer to that and he just thanked whatever God that brought you to him.

But the gods were cruel. They give and they take.

He visited your grave every day with fresh flowers in his hands but they always ended up disheveled from how tight he was holding them. Everything changed after you left, he changed and he no longer rambled about his fun facts to the team, in fact, they hadn't heard him laugh or smile in a while.

He'd get snappy with them whenever they asked a simple question, his state wasn't any better too, he looked as if he needed to seek professional help.

"Spence?" JJ knocked on his apartment door but received no answer, she was about to try again but the door swung open. Spencer stood there annoyed and a frown displayed on his lips.

"What?" He asked, he didn't mean to sound so harsh but he was just having a hard time, he had a nightmare again, usually, it was you who would coax him until he calmed down but you were gone and it was a painful reminder every time he wakes up from a bad dream, he would much rather prefer to be stuck in that dream than face the truth.

"can I come in?" JJ's voice is gentle that was something he came to despise, everyone has been walking on eggshells whenever he's around and he hates it because it just makes him remember that you were gone.

Spencer let her in reluctantly, JJ's gaze darted everywhere in his apartment, it was a mess. She looked at Spencer with worry, a question hanging from the tip of her tongue.

As if sensing it, Spencer sighed and massaged his temple "No, I'm not using Dilaudid" he said harshly.

"That was not what I was gonna say-"

"Why are you here?" For the first time since she came in, he looked her in the eye. She freezes, she did not think this through.

"Spence, I know it has been hard for you, just let me help you- let us help you," she said with a hint of urgency in her voice.

Spencer clicked his tongue "I don't need help, get out" he calmly said but the way he said it begged to differ.

"I said get out!" He snapped making JJ flinch, she had never seen Spencer act like this but instead of backing out, she fought back.

"I know this is hard for you Spencer but didn't you stop and think that the whole team not only felt guilty because they couldn't save her but they lost her too? She was like family to them." She was crying now. Spencer was about to retort that they didn't know her like he did but she stopped him.

"I know she was your fiancé, Reid, but she was my sister, and losing her meant losing half of me so don't act like you're the only one grieving because we all are, let us help you and we can fix this, it might take a long- long time but let us do it together" she pleaded and fresh tears started to flow from Spencer's eyes.

It was quiet for a while nothing but broken sobs from both of them.

"I- I can't remember her voice" Spencer's voice trembled, his hands shaking making JJ engulf him in a hug. He held her tightly, his tears staining her clothes "I can't remember her voice" he repeated again like a broken record.

"shh, it's okay" JJ coed.

"I couldn't save her, I promised her I would protect her, s-she trusted me to protect her" he stutters, his breathing becoming labored "I don't know what to do, I love her too much to let her go"

"I know" JJ's voice broke. She remembered the night vividly, the night she lost you, she remembered how nothing could calm Spencer down, and she remembered how he cradled your blooded form from the comfort of your own bed, his sobbed mix with his overwhelming fast breathing, it tore her to shreds.

When you were at the hospital, she remembered the whole team was there, she remembered how Spencer couldn't sit still and how he had been crying for hours but when the doctor dropped the dreaded news, she could feel Spencer's heart drop, how his eyes became void of any emotions in just a second.

He dropped to the floor with his hand gripping his shirt near his heart where your head always rests when you're slow dancing, just remembering that made him let out a gut-wrenching cry, his shoulder shaking as he kept repeating the word 'no' over and over again.

When he felt like he couldn't breathe Morgan coaxed him to breathe with him but nothing could work. Losing someone special is like losing your purpose to function and having you gone was something he didn't realize he'd had to face.

"I have- uhm, I have a video of her," JJ said, pulling out a disc from her bag. Spencer had now calmed down, and seeing the disc from JJ's hand brought him an unfamiliar surge of emotions.

"She loved recording herself talking and singing, and she mentioned you here more than I can count" she chuckled holding back herself from crying.

She handed Spencer the disc with a tight-lipped smile "I'm gonna give you some privacy" she said taping his shoulder as she made her way out of his apartment.

Spencer didn't say anything nor did he move from his spot on the couch. The disc on his hand felt heavy as he stared at it.

He's scared, he's scared that maybe if he plays this video he won't ever move on and fall into a cycle where he can't stop watching the video for fear of forgetting your face and your voice.

He didn't even realize he had played the disc until he saw you and heard your voice in the video and when he heard it, it brought a new batch of tears pouring out from his eyes.

"Oh hi! Shit, how does this thing work?" You mumbled as you adjusted the camera. "JJ? Is this thing broken or am I just tweaking?" You called out, Spencer saw the camera shift to JJ her face contoured with annoyance.

"you're holding it wrong-" The video ended and for a few seconds it came back again but this time he was met with your beaming smile. Spencer choked on his tears, his heart clenching seeing your infectious smile.

"I met a guy" you giggled making Spencer smile despite the tears flowing down his cheeks "I'm gonna marry him someday, I just know it. He's my sister's colleague, he's smart and extremely handsome, and he likes reading as well, can you believe that?" You exhaled a disbelief sigh.

Hearing that brought a wave of nausea in his system, you never got to marry him.

The video then showed JJ looking at the camera with Emily on her side as JJ tells Emily to be quiet, and then the camera shifts to you and Spencer.

He remembers this, this was 2 years ago on New Year's Day, the both of you were at Rossi's mansion but decided to come out to have the time for both of yourselves.

You were singing but it was muffled because the camera was too far away "Move closer!" He heard Emily whisper "I can't, they'll see us" JJ rebutted but Emily grabbed the camera and the sound of her running with the camera violently shaking from her grasp made him chuckle.

He heard you clearly now, he had never been so thankful for Emily. You were humming and in between the humming, you told him that you love him and Spencer had to pause the video because he was having a hard time breathing again. He didn't finish the video and he fell asleep crying.

Spencer thinks he can't ever forget you, even if he settles down with someone else (which he doubts) he knows he can't ever forget you because loving you was different, different in a way where you'll yearn for it your entire life.

And when he played the tape again, the fleeting moment in which he genuinely smiles is then replaced by him crying again whenever you mention how much you really loved him.

Nothing feels light in grieving and when time passes it gets heavier it may be subtle but it's there. His future with you was forever gone in the wind, merely a whisper in his dreams and his heart ached for your warmth to be back again.

#Spotify #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x you #mgg x reader #mgg fanfiction #criminal minds #emily prentiss #x reader #spencer reid fanfiction

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