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#growing up believing the 'if you don't have anything nice to say don't bother talking at all' has been making everything harder
phenikas · 4 months
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After posting the last few renders, I can confidently say that the burnout I've been feeling is real and not just something I thought I was imagining.
I love making renders, making them has definitely made my 2023 that much brighter, but I've been feeling so drained this past month and a half that I just... don't think I can make more in the quality that I desire.
Not at this time, anyway.
Same goes with writing. I haven't felt satisfied with my writing ever since I finished fixing one of my older fics on ao3, which was around June. I spent so much time doing that, that at the end I was absolutely consumed by burnout. It's like a neverending circle I keep getting sucked into every time I take interest in something. And trust me, I spent a good half of my high school life miserable cause I couldn't feel passionate about anything.
So what I'm asking you for is that you bear with me for the foreseeable future as things are definitely going to slow down even more so than they have before. Not only do I feel this burnout, but there are things (and people) that are making this fandom not fun to be in. Not gonna name any names but just... please, remember that being nice costs you nothing, so does minding your own business.
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disneyprincemuke · 5 months
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bother figures * fem!driver
being the designated baby sister of the grid by default is never as easy as you think it would be
pairings: alex albon x fem!driver, max verstappen x fem!driver, george russell x fem!driver, lando norris x fem!driver
warnings: ugh annoying men
notes: this is hardly funny but like i've had to take inspiration from my bother-less life rn so i'm like rly going through it rn LMFAO and it's almost 5am here but as far as i'm concerned, it is night time somewhere so teCHNICALLY i'm not late to an update!
(series masterlist) | (📂 the rookie season)
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in the almost empty room, she sits in the corner seat as she taps away on her phone a message to reply to her siblings' group chat. she had arrived early for the driver's briefing and decided to take solace in the corner with a cup of hot chocolate.
she was enjoying the peace and serenity with the soft chatter in the background as she tried to lock herself in for the race weekend. that was until she felt a presence looming behind her with an aura she couldn't possibly ignore.
she slowly lifts her head up with a mean glare. she turns her head and meets max's blue eyes and sly grin. "what'cha doin'?"
she puts her phone on her lap as a scowl replaces her dead expression. "what do you want?"
"what are you doing?"
"does it hurt you when you see me and like... not do anything to annoy me?"
"yes, actually. i like talking to you."
"i just wanted to talk to ciara."
"now you can talk to me."
"but i don't really feel like doing that."
"why not? i'm here in front of you and not behind a phone screen. where's ciara?" he looks around, then at her with a beaming smile. "oh, would you look at that? not here."
"because she isn't an f1 driver."
"still not here to talk to you and provide you the joys of interacting with somebody face to face."
"max."
"(y/n)."
"times like these i remember you've got a younger sister."
"what's that got to do with anything?"
"you've mastered the practice of being annoying growing up, obviously. you're such a pro at it."
"how can you say that?" max cries, hand on his chest to feign hurt over her words. "i'm not annoying. please take that back!"
"you realise you made me stop my conversation with my lovely sisters because you saw me sitting alone."
max reaches out and pinches her cheek, grinning when blood rushes to her cheeks. "you were just looking a little lonely. just wanted to make you feel a little accommodated to, that's all."
she stares at him, lips pressed together. "okay, that's actually pretty sweet. i kinda feel bad now.”
“and you should!” max frowns, folding his arms over his chest. he leans back into his seat and rests one leg over the other. “you’re mean, you know?”
“i’m an oldest sister.”
“i’m an oldest brother.”
“i have three younger siblings that made me wanna shave my head bald.”
“that’s kinda crazy.”
“i know,” she sighs tiredly. but she smiles slightly. “but it’s kinda nice. with oscar and logan taking over those responsibilities growing up, we never had a moment of boredom at home.”
“cute!” max smiles. “if i lived with you growing up, you might’ve actually run away for good.”
“i could run away for good now if you’d like.”
“seb wouldn’t like that.”
“you’d have to deal with it. i’ll leave a note on my team’s fridge with your name on it.”
“you need to put the reason underneath. if not, your team will think you’re just naming the most handsomest driver on the grid,” max shakes his head in disappointment. “don’t wanna give off the wrong idea, you know?”
“if you say ‘handsomest’, it doesn’t need a ‘most’ before it,” she says, lips parted slightly at the atrocious grammar. if there’s one thing she can’t stand, it’s most definitely the reigning world champion making simply grammar mistakes. “you should get more sleep.”
“i do! i slept like 10 hours last night!”
“somehow i find that hard to believe with the bags under your eyes.”
“what are you two bickering about?” a hand lands itself on the back of her chair. carlos stands next to her with one hand on his hip. “i could hear you from the hallways.”
“damn, you should really keep it down, max,” she chuckles, sending him a shocked look before she clasps her hands together and rests it on her stomach. “you’re too loud.”
“i’m sure he meant you. you like… swallowed a mic as a kid,” max scoffs. he looks up at carlos. “tell me she was louder than me.”
carlos sighs. “you were loud on the same level, i believe.”
"see? i told you."
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"you're moving in with logan?" alex's jaw drops, the tiktok video no his phone left to play on repeat as the younger girl dropped the news that logan's moving into her apartment. "mate, what?"
she looks up at him with a confused stare. "what?"
"i thought you said you didn't want people talking about you like that?" alex asks, raising an eyebrow. "people will definitely talk if you move in with a man."
she presses her lips together. "you've got a point, i suppose. but logan's my best friend. we've been talking about moving in together forever! since i was 15!"
"i'm just looking out for you, kid. you should really think this through," alex sighs as he slumps his shoulders. of course, he knows just how close she and logan are on a day-to-day basis. but people tend to be quite ruthless with women and he just can't see this going any other way. "you know how people are."
she sighs, shaking her head. "i don't know. i just don't think people would pay attention to that aspect of my life. i still deserve to make decisions that wouldn't be at risk of scrutiny, right?"
she takes a step forward towards alex. she hadn't exactly thought of the public implications that this would cause her. all she knew was that they'd talked about this for years and were ecstatic when logan shyly brought up their conversation from years ago.
"that's the basic that we all hope for," alex frowns. "but you know how people are. you've seen how they treat you just being here. imagine the chaos."
"maybe i'll just keep it under wraps and hope for the best," she suggests with a small smile on her face. "that could work, right? i don't wanna have to put down something i spent forever talking about."
"if you can keep it under wraps, i applaud you," alex smiles, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "and i thought you've had enough of men - why are you still moving in with one?"
"to save money, really," she smiles. "and with kidnapper and stubby at home... i think living with another person is best."
"but doesn't logan like dogs more?"
"yeah, but kidnapper's taken a very weird liking to him. he doesn't wanna admit, but i know logan really likes kidnapper a lot."
"typical logan, really."
"you'd be surprised how much feelings that loser's holding in."
"oh?" alex smiles mischievously. "tell me more?"
"nice try," she scoffs with an eye roll. "i'm not spilling the beans about logan's love life. that's lore you've got to unlock the longer you race with him. just hope he's feeling friendly enough to share, yes?"
"so true," alex frowns. "but what if he's not friendly enough? means you are my only source for material to piss him off with. so, 'fess up!"
"can't betray my best friend like that, i fear," she frowns. though, her smile grows slowly. "but i can be bribed."
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a scowl carves her face as she stares at the roll-in whiteboard with pictures held up against it with sesame street magnets. she sinks into the plastic chair she's given and tilts her head at the men gathered around her.
"and that's why i think you should get the same car as me," lando says simply, recapping the marker in his hands. he turns to her with a proud smile after his presentation.
her lips part. "so that we can matchy and..."
"and fuel rumours," lando repeats. "i'm involved in too little drama this year. it's always 'no wins' this, and 'no podiums' that... i want more."
"that's not a very good argument," she answers slowly, confusion contorting her face that almost makes alex laugh. "i said that i want an easy car, not a supercar. i've made that clear to almost everyone on the grid, yes?"
"yeah, but like," lando whines, throwing his head back as he stomps a foot into the ground. "seriously? you can't do this one thing for me? i'm asking you a favour!"
"to spend big money on a supercar i have to drive like it's made of glass!" she laughs dryly, hands thrown in the air in disbelief. she looks around at the men that have forcefully pulled her out of her garage and put her in this private room, in this plastic chair when she could've been taking a power nap. "is this what i'm here for? you lot are trying to convince me to finally purchase a car?"
"as per logan's request," alex shrugs, sipping on his juice box. "he said you've been putting it off all year. the season's about to end."
"and you listened to that nonce?" she cries, pinching the bridge of her nose. "you guys are absolutely unbelievable. i can't believe i'm wasting my time here!"
george, sitting next to her with a picture in hand, points at the whiteboard timidly. "i really put in a lot of thought about a car you should get," he says softly, looking slightly disappointed that she's caught on a lot faster than they predicted. "can i at least show it to you? i don't have to present."
"aw, george," she sighs, shaking her head. "it's not another supercar, is it?"
"it's not, i promise!" he perks up with a small smile on his face. he turns to lando with a small scowl. "only lando did this presentation with his best interests in mind. alex and i took the task seriously - just hear us out!"
she looks between george and alex, contemplating if the brit is telling the truth. instead of getting up like she had initially planned, she leans back into her seat. "fine. if it's anything like lando's, i'm leaving immediately. i don't care who has yet to present."
"but this ferrari looks so pretty," charles frowns, turning the picture in his hand to show it to her. "it's matte black and all. i thought we could match."
"that is also a supercar."
"he's presenting last, so i really don't care what he says," george mutters, shoving lando away from the whiteboard. he picks up a big bird magnet and pastes his picture between lando and max's proposal. "so, i think you should get this super cute toyota car."
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luveline · 9 months
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Ok Derek angst what about a non-bau gf getting jealous of his flirting with Garcia? Bc ngl if my bf did that with a girl who I hadn’t met I would be super upset and then May be his gf meets Garcia and realizes she’s a girls girl and super sweet? Idk u can take it any direction
ty for your request ♡ fem!reader
You don't want anything to do with Penelope Garcia. Honestly, you wouldn't ever meet her if you had your way, but you're level-headed enough to know that she's important to Derek. Integral to his life. It's a miracle you put off meeting her as long as you had. 
At first, you genuinely thought she was Derek's mom. He always ended calls with, "Love you, mama." It was only a few weeks ago when he shook things up to say, "I love you, babygirl," did you look up from the book on your thigh to ask who it was.
"Penelope," he'd said, like he was confused. "Who'd you think?" 
You shrugged noncommittal, earning yourself a hair pet and a kiss. You lay awake that night wondering if you got it wrong. You'd heard a hundred stories about her and felt reluctantly fond, but now? Your boyfriend calls other girls pet names, what do you do about that? What can you? 
You ignored it. And now you have to meet her. 
She doesn't seem as nefarious as you've imagined her, springing from her seat at the cafe table to hug you. "Hi! Oh my god hi! I can't believe I'm finally meeting you, I've never been this happy in my life! You're so pretty!" 
You wince at her arms thrown over your shoulders but reciprocate. You aren't a total bitch.
"Thank you," you say. She smells like coffee creamer and hairspray. She pulls away to beam at you, her lips painted a shiny, pretty red. "It's nice to meet you. Derek has nothing but good things to say about you."
It sounds awfully formal, like you're opening a bank account with a teller who has a shared acquaintance. Derek gives you a look. You give him a look back, mutual confusion. She may be his best friend, but you don't know her (and what you do know you're jealous of, so). 
Derek takes your hand despite your off behaviour to show you off with pride, his teeth peeking from behind his lips milky white. "My two favourite girls had to meet eventually."
"I thought I'd be more jealous about coming second," Penelope says, eyes twinkling, "but I've never seen Derek so happy." Her voice turns scratchy like stretched linen. "He deserves the best, you know? And it's clear you're it. He's smitten."
"Maybe don't give up all my secrets, sweetheart," he says. 
Seeing them together chills your raging envy. There's a lot of love there, clearly, but the sexual tension you pictured is fictional. "Girl code, my love,'' Penelope says with a shrug. She winks at you. 
Insecurity nags at your skin like condensation on a cold window, "You've known Derek for nearly six years? Have you guys always been this close?" 
"Well, mister muscles here didn't bother remembering my name for the first couple of weeks that we worked together, so he deferred to pet names. And, you know, he's him," —Penelope gestures to him as if to say, behold, drawing a startled laugh from you— "and I'm me, so. I didn't want him to stop." 
"Hey, now." 
Penelope shakes her head at you. "He always does this." 
"If 'this' is stopping you from talking bad on yourself, babygirl, then yeah. I'll always do it." 
You feel clarity break, the sweet taste of relief and the muggier lick of shame. Derek and Penelope have a special friendship. That you knew before meeting her. She's made a huge, irreplaceable impact on his life, and Derek has clearly done the same. They aren't playing work husband and wife —there are reasons for their affections that go well beyond the surface flirtation. 
"I get it. Nobody ever called me anything so nice as Derek calls me," you confide. Derek's eyebrows leap up. You've never told him this; you're telling Penelope as a sort of apology, though she can't know that. "I never got asked out growing up. When he asked me on a date I thought he was trying to win a bet." 
Penelope's expression flickers with relief. There and gone, quickly replaced by sympathy. "Are you kidding? You're so pretty, Derek's lucky he got to you before someone else did." 
Derek kisses your cheek. His lips linger against the apple of it, your joined hands pulled instinctively to his firm torso. You might be imagining it, but Derek seems to know everything, so he probably knows the hill you've just climbed in your head. "Damn straight I'm lucky. I'm surrounded by beautiful, genius women. This is paradise for the modern man." 
You flush at his touch and praise. Penelope makes a pleased squeak. "Ooh, you guys are cute! You need to let me take a photo. This'll make a great printout for your wedding."
"Penelope." 
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cerise-on-top · 3 months
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Ooh, what if Price/Ghost/Gaz/Laswell came across their childhood best friend? Reuniting with reader who was there for them through thick and thin, until they joined the military and lost contact 🙏
I've been reading/re-reading some of your works!! They're so good! Also, I'm sorry those teenagers were pricks to you, hope you have some better days soon!
Hello! I have to say, I'm genuinely surprised anyone reads my rambles in the tags, I didn't think anyone would, but thank you! You don't know how much I appreciate it! Today was already a much better day, which is why I decided to write and post two requests today! This is a lovely request, very nice! Love me some platonic stuff as well! Sometimes all you need is a good friend by your side!
Price, Gaz, Ghost and Laswell Come Across their Childhood Best Friend
Price: He actually thinks about you from time to time, more often than he’d like to admit. You were a good person in his eyes, always there for him no matter what he went through, which is something he could appreciate. His childhood wasn’t particularly bad, but he had some days where he would have loved to simply throw in the towel, which is normal, though. Price was a rowdy guy when he was young, so you likely either went along with some of his ideas or were kind enough to talk him out of them. Either way, he appreciated having you around, so seeing you again would be quite the surprise, he didn’t think he ever would again. If he’s on a mission, then the talk will be kept short, but afterwards he’ll make sure to seek you out again, catch up a bit and ask you how you’ve been. Price didn’t expect to have missed you this much, but he only realized that once he saw you. You’ll either be going to one of the cafes you used to visit nearby, or maybe sit down on a park bench and maybe eat some sandwiches together, just like you used to during the good old times. Since you’d likely be around his age, so roughly 37-38, you’d have a lot to tell. Roughly 22 years you need to catch up on. He’s willing to talk to you, tell you about his career, how he's been doing, about the people he’s met and how he’s feeling. Considering this much time has passed, there’s a good chance you’ve both mellowed out quite a bit, but it isn’t unpleasant, you’re both mature people now. He likes hearing about everything you’ve accomplished, it’s like you became a new person during all those years. It’s so lovely to him, he sort of can’t believe it. Whether it’s a coincidence, or maybe you sought him out, it doesn’t matter, spending time with you again brings back all those memories he thought he had since forgotten about. He laughs, he smiles, he frowns. He’s a bit more expressive with you, but really wants to reminisce about the good old times. Even so, he hopes to be able to see you again more often, so you’ll likely exchange numbers. This time he tries to make sure to not lose contact with you and will text you every once in a while.
Gaz: When he was a child, Gaz was a lot calmer than he is today, a very quiet kid. He had always been a good boy, a gift in the eyes of many, but he wasn’t as active a child as one would imagine. Ergo he didn’t have very many friends until he became older either, but he was loyal to the few he did have. You were one of them. As you slowly started to grow apart, he started to miss you, but didn’t want to bother you either, as much as he would have loved to do so. So I’m sure you can imagine the surprise on his face when he found you at the mall the two of you would hang out in during rainy days. Gaz has become more confident, so he’d immediately walk up to you once he recognises you and start talking. Like Price, he’d be pleasantly surprised to just see you in such a mundane place, but won’t question it. Or complain about it either. In fact, if you’re not carrying anything heavy, he’d be the one to suggest going out to eat or drink something. Again, either a small and quiet cafe or a small restaurant. Maybe you’d go to a place you liked when you were kids, if it’s still open. Regardless, it’d be hard to get him to shut up with how excited he is to have you around. It’s a calm kind of excitement, but he’s happy, and that’s what’s important. It’s very likely that he’ll pay for your food, even if you insist he shouldn’t, but it’s not like he has any other use for his money. Chatting with him about the good old times is very sweet, he likes to bring up all the good things. But eventually, he’ll thank you for everything you’ve done for him and how happy he was to have you as a friend. Considering there were very few people who tried to get to know him, he was quite lonely, but you fixed that. You made everything better. From the pain on his knee when he fell as you gave him a band-aid, to the pain in his heart when the other children ridiculed him. Like Price, he’ll ask you if you want his number so you could continue to keep in contact with each other. He knows it’ll likely never be the same again, but he can pretend everything is as good as it used to be back when he was young. He’d love to spend time with you again.
Ghost: This man has had one of the worst childhoods imaginable. He was abused by his father, and the only friends he had aside from you were his mother and his brother. Barely anyone was kind towards him or accepted him considering he had always been the weird kid. No one but you wanted to spend time with him. Needless to say, Ghost had taken a liking to you when he was younger. You spent your time with him, you even defended him when some of the other kids ridiculed him. And now, 12 years later, he finds you running after a coin you accidentally dropped on the ground, bumping into him as you did so. He’d be wide eyed at first, a bit quiet as well. Once you left he never would have thought he’d ever find someone like you again, but here you were, just as quiet and surprised to see him. Ghost would pick up the coin for you and ask you how you’ve been. It had been a while. Although he’s not usually one to smile, especially not in public, you could see him faintly do so. He’s become a quiet man, so he won’t be talking too much about everything, especially not everything that happened after he joined the military, but he’s more than willing to talk to you about other matters. His life has become better over the past few years, but that doesn’t mean he isn't scarred still. He’ll offer you a walk to just about anywhere, really, even if the final destination will always end up being one of the places you used to hang out in as children. An abandoned house, a park, a mall. Manchester is a fairly large city, so there’s much to see. It would be a bit rough to catch up with him entirely, but he loves to hear about everything you’ve accomplished. You’ve become such a mature person, it warms his heart to see how far you’ve come in life. Back then, when everything was so bleak, when neither of you thought you’d see your 28th birthdays, everything was different. But now, you’re smiling at him as you’re drinking your milkshake. You seem to be better off, and so is he. It makes him nostalgic to see all of this, but he’s happy. Ghost will offer you to come to his home if you want. Even now, he still loves you dearly as a friend and couldn’t be happier about the fact he’s found you again by chance.
Laswell: When she was young she was a healthy mix of rowdy and good. While she never caused much trouble, she did stand up for herself when she needed to. However, this alone was enough to get the attention of some awful people. People either liked her or hated her, there usually was no inbetween for them. Some people did try to bully her, but it never ended well since she would fight for herself, plus she had some good friends who would do the same for her. However, none of them could compare to you, as you were her best friend. All her joys she would celebrate with you, and all of her sadness she would share with you. Back then, things were simpler, something small meant the end of the world, but you always had each other’s backs. Laswell tries to not think about you too much since you slowly drifting apart is quite painful to her. As she grew older, she learned to live with the pain and it didn’t bother her as much. Still, she was very happy when you were sending her a message after all this time. She may have been at work, but responded to you immediately, having missed you just as much as you missed her. Once you meet up it’s evident you’ve both grown a lot older. Laswell has been working for the CIA since her twenties, so it’s been almost thirty years. You have a lot to catch up on, but you take your time, eating at a fancy restaurant and spending hours there, laughing at everything that’s happened. Laswell would show you photos of all the places she’s visited during her downtime. She’s seen almost the entire world, some of it with her wife, some of it without her. Although she doesn’t usually tell people she’s married, to another woman too, she knows you’re a safe person, you’ve always accepted her as she was. Considering how happy you looked when you saw her wife, she continued to tell you about the world. But you get your chance to tell her about everything that’s happened to you as well. If the conversation goes especially well, Laswell might invite you to a few outings every once in a while, after you’ve met up a few more times. Plus you get to meet her wife eventually as well, which is a real privilege. Considering how much she loves her and wants to protect her, not many know about her. It’ll be fun either way since you get to make more memories together again.
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 4 months
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Seven Days to Fall Again | Thursday | Jeon Jungkook
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Inspired by the MV "Seven" by Jung Kook ft. Latto (obvi lol) Summary: Flowers for my love. Jungkook is trying absolutely everything he can to get you back. No matter how ridiculous it might seem. Pairing: Reader x Jungkook (almost exes to lovers lol) Word Count: 3.2k (longer one this time lol) a/n: So I haven't posted anything for this series in almost a month so I'm really really sorry for that. I have so many other series going at this point that it's taken me a second to come back around and write for this one again. This one is a little bit longer to hopefully make up for it. Let me know what you think! p.s. Pretty much wrote all of this is one night so I hope it's not complete crap but I thought it was cute hehe Start from the beginning
Jungkook's visit yesterday threw me for a loop to say the least. 
I've tried to do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't get to me but no matter how many pep talks I give myself or how many times I've tried to scold myself instead, nothing works. 
I miss him, and I hate myself because of that. 
I've been able to go through my morning and most of my afternoon with radio silence from him which has been incredible for my stress levels but I can't help but feel his absence more and more as time goes by.
He was hardly ever around for the last few months of our relationship so I don't know why his presence; which I had specifically chose not to have around now almost feels more painful. 
"Maybe I just need a walk" I say out loud "Yeah a walk and some fresh air should clear everything up" I continue, trying to lie to myself in thinking that some sunshine might actually fix this. 
Walking out of my apartment and heading straight to the subway I make a decision to go to a little cafe that I used to go to with my classmates. It's been a while since I've been there and their strawberry crepes were to die for from what I remember so I think it's time I treated myself to something nice.
~~~~~~~
Leaving the station I notice a big crowd starting to  gather around and I get a glimpse of what they're all staring at, seeing that it's some guy getting picked up off the ground and rolled out on a gurney. 
Taking a closer look, believing that I somehow know them, I feel the need to make sure they're okay but I'm stopped by the police tape they've put up. 
Once the guy's head turns towards me my eyes widen in horror seeing that it's Jungkook. "Wait! Wait! Jungkook! Wait that's my boyfriend!" I say and duck under the yellow tape not bothering to worry about the repercussions. 
When he hears my voice and opens his eyes and I see them quickly change from seeming like he had been on the edge of life and death into his big doe ones, sending me a bright smile, showing zero sighs of distress anymore and leaves me stopping in my tracks.
"CUT" I hear someone shout in the distance. "Who is this girl and why is she on my set?" the same voice say as they gradually get closer. 
"No one" I say, crossing my arms over my chest and see Jungkook give me an awkward smile in response. I scoff and don't bother listening to no doubt the director trying to speak to me and from the small bits I catch onto it sounds almost as if he wanted me to complete the scene. 
"Not interested" I mumble and walk off, ignoring their efforts to keep me there. "Baby wait!" I hear Jungkook say as he struggles to get the belt they had fastened off of him. 
I don't even bother responding and continue to make my way down the street to the cafe, praying that he won't follow me but it seems as though the universe is laughing at me because despite the growing crowd around us he still is able to keep his eyes on me. 
"Y/n wait! Please!" he yells, making sure that there's no way possible that I couldn't hear him but I choose to ignore him nonetheless. "Please Noona wait!" he continues, using a word that he knows will get a reaction out of me and my steps stutter for a second but I regain my balance seamlessly and pick up the pace seconds after. 
"Excuse me, sorry. Excuse me, thank you" I hear him say, continuing to use that loud voice letting me know that he's still on my tail but as soon as I get to a crosswalk I start to walk a bit faster, hoping to cut him off and lose him when he hopefully gets stuck waiting for the next light and luckily this time it works. 
I take a quick glance behind me to check and see him standing there catching my gaze and turning to a flower vender beside him and buying a bouquet of sunflowers, my favorite flowers during this time of year and I know he didn't just get them randomly because no matter how much I think he doesn't pay attention or care about our relationship I know he makes sure he knows the little things about me.
And that's one of the things that makes me want to take him back. 
"Y/n wait! Please" he yells and I turn around just in time to see him decide to take a risk and cross the street without waiting for the light and seconds later I hear the sound of tires screeching on the pavement and see Jungkook duck out of view. 
"Jungkook" I whisper, stopping dead in my tracks, my body totally frozen at the thought that he might've gotten hit. 
Moments later though I see the sunflowers resurface above the crowd and his head soon after that and I watch the exchange between him and the driver and then soon see him turning back to me and abandoning the conversation to start running after me again. 
"Wait!" he says and I turn on my heel to keep going, hating the fact that I've already lost the distance I had gained between us. 
I duck into a random shop in hopes that he'll somehow lose sight of me and walk right past it, losing me and hopefully letting me resume my intended relaxing day to myself. I'll just stop by the bakery instead and make my way home so I can head in the opposite way of what he probably had expected me to be going in. 
As I hear the shopkeeper welcome me I quickly return their greeting and hide behind one of their shelves, picking up a random book and holding it up to my face. Making sure it's open and covering me just enough for him not to notice, but also giving me enough visual to see him pass by and continue his search in the opposite way, just as I had planned. 
I watch as he walks past the store, frantically turning his head in all directions to see if he could finally catch sight of me again and to my delight he continues on the path he had seen me on a few minutes before. 
I let out a deep breath at the sight and put the book down, finally gaining some of that peace of mind. 
"Were you looking for anything specific dear?" the older shopkeeper asks. "No not really, I was just trying to lose my tail" I say pointing towards the window. "My ex boyfriend has been trying to get me back and he won't stop trying to talk to me so we can 'Talk things out' or whatever" I say, letting out a huge sigh, happy to get a chance to talk to someone at least a little bit. 
"Well have you given him a chance to say his piece yet?" she questions, leaving me shocked, expecting her to side with me. "Well...no, but we've gone through these sorts of problems before and I just don't want him to say something that will convince me to give him another chance again" I say, walking towards her and leaning on a shelf nearby. 
She takes a second to think before responding and says something that I was hoping she wouldn't. "You need to give him a chance to at least say something. Everyone deserves closure don't you think?" she says with a soft smile, hoping to get through to me. "Unless he's violent or something of that sort. Then he can go fuck himself" she says with a grin, already knowing that's not the case. 
I open and close my mouth a bit, not really knowing how to respond and she laughs at my reaction, loving how much she's caught me off guard. "He was the young man that just passed by with those sunflowers wasn't he?" she says with a knowing smile. "How did you-" I start out but she cuts me off with another laugh. 
"That boy had the most adorable panicked look, searching here and there as if he had lost his owner. He's quite handsome if you ask me" she say winking at me and making me blush a bit at her straightforward nature. "Give him a chance love. And if you let him go, then you let him go. Trust me, you don't want to deal with the what ifs if he stops trying" she says giving me a soft smile. 
I know she's right and I know I should at least hear him out but at this point I think it's something I've gotta work my way up to. His all or nothing attitude right now is just too much for me. 
"You're right. I'll take some time and when I'm ready I'll sit down with him to talk it all out. Thank you. Oh I'm sorry I should probably get out of your hair. Uh" I stammer at the end, feeling guilty for taking up so much of her time. 
"Um here, can I buy this?" I ask, placing a little bear with a lavender flower embroidered on it's collar on the counter, grabbing the first thing I laid eyes on. It can't be more than four inches tall with it's cute round belly and a little sun hat on it with the ears sticking through it. 
"Keep it" she say, not even bothering to offer room for discussion as she walks away from the counter. "It's full of lavender petals so keep it close and the smell will help calm you down whenever you need it. You might even want to hold it close when you're talking to that boyfriend of yours" she says with a wink and walks to the back of the store, disappearing behind a shelf, leaving me alone with my thoughts. 
I pull out my wallet and put a five dollar bill in the tip jar and take a second glance at the bear and hold it up close to my face, breathing in it's sweet and slightly musky fragrance. I smile down at it's cute little face and put it in my purse. 'I've never been in this bookstore before' I think to myself, now finally taking a second to check out the rest of the interior beyond the immediate storefront. 
I make it a note to come back here one day and return her kindness by bringing something for her to repay her not only for the bear but also for her hospitality and advice.
I take one last glance around and turn to make my way out. 
"You certainly took your time in there" I hear a familiar voice say beside me, leaving me holding my breath for a second at the scare. "Jungkook" I say placing my hand over my chest before using that same hand seconds later to wack his arm making him drop the flowers he had started to hold out for me to take. 
"Hey! What was that for?" he whines, rubbing his arm for a few seconds and picking them back up. "That's for not only scaring me just now, but also scarring me earlier today with that stupid ambulance nonsense" I say throwing my arm out towards what I now know as being a stupid movie set and when I turn back to face him all I can see is a big grin on his face. 
"Why are you smiling at me like that?" I question crossing my arms over my chest. "You know you called me your boyfriend back there right?" he says, his smile growing even wider. I scoff at the memory and don't even dignify his words with a response, turning and making my way back to the bakery just as I had intended as my plan B.
"Wait Noona please" he says and places a light grip on my arm. "What?" I spit out, turning to face him again, a look of displeasure on my face which somehow makes him smile even wider. "Can I at least walk you home?" he asks, poised in anticipation. 
Now that the shop keeper had equated him to a dog I can't help but notice how much he's been giving off golden retriever energy these past few days. Excited and begging for my attention no matter what I say.
"I'm not going home" I say pulling my arm out of his grasp but he grabs onto my hand this time instead, making me stop again, knowing that as much as I want to, I'm probably not going to get my way this time. "Can I walk you to wherever you're going then?" he questions, now completing the look with his puppy dog eyes that pull on my heartstrings every time.
"Fine" I say and he happily catches up to me after deciding to hand the flowers off to some guy and his girlfriend, knowing for a fact that I won't take them. For a second I don't even realize that he had decided to hold my hand again until he sways them back and forth a bit making me rip mine out of his grasp and opting to cross my arms over my chest instead, leaving it hard for him to try to grab onto me again. 
~~~~~~
Walking up to the bakery a few minutes later I stop and face him for a second hoping to shoo him away. "Okay, you can leave now" I say and take a few steps but I still feel his presence close behind me. "Why are you following me?" I ask turning around again, not amused at the fact that he's not listening to me. 
"Who said I was following you? I wanted to get something from here too! You know I like the chocolate donuts here, remember?" he says giving me a soft smile. "Fine" I mumble and reach for the door handle but before I can his hand reaches for it and opens it for me. I spare him a glare and he sends me a sweet bunny smile in return making me roll my eyes in response. 
I walk in and when he tries to do the same he notices a group of older woman making their way out and he waits to hold it open for them as well and I can't help but roll my eyes again, watching him continue to play the sweet loving gentlemen. They smile and thank him a few times in return which he responds with a smile and once they're finally out he heads inside intending to stand next to me in line but is cut off by a few people between us leaving me smiling in victory but it doesn't last long. 
"Excuse me sorry do you mind? I'm with her" he says pointing towards me leaving me widening my gaze and turning around but not fast enough for the others to notice if he's lying or not. "Yeah, sure" one of the guys says and they step aside and let him walk up to me but in the process of squeezing through he stumbles and falls into me a little bit, leaving him latching onto me, pressing me up against the wall I had been leaning against. 
"S-sorry Noona" he apologizes, ears turning red clearly embarrassed at our current position. "It's fine" I grumble and push him off of me, creating some much needed space and walking up to the counter where they're waiting for the next customer. 
"Hi can I get a raspberry donut and a ham and cheese croissant? Thanks" I say and the worker looks over at Jungkook as he is standing next to me and waits for his order. "Oh we're not, we're not together" I say tripping over my words, this being the first time I've said that in front of someone while he's standing right next to me. 
The worker looks between us and draws what I can assume is a line under my order that she's written down and then asks for Jungkook's which he orders just what he had said before, a chocolate donut. 
"Thank you" he says warmly and the worker looks between the two of us, not believing my words from before but smiles almost amused by our situation and tells us our orders will be right out before handing the paper over to the cashier where she gives me my total. 
Before I'm even able to reach for my card though I see Jungkook place his phone on the card reader to pay. 
"Hey!" I say in protest while Jungkook tells her to ring him up again for his donut as well. I decide it's useless arguing with him in public and walk off to the side to wait for our food. "I can pay for my own food" I grumble as he walks up to me. "I know, but I wanted to" he says simply and we wait in silence until they hand us our bags. 
"So where are you going now?" he asks, holding the door open for me again and jogging after me, having to hold the door for the next person again. "Home" I say and make my way to the subway entrance. "Can I walk you home?" he asks, already knowing the answer but trying anyway. 
"No Jungkook. You can't. You asked if you could walk me to wherever I was going next but that isn't an invitation to follow me around for the rest of the day. Just leave me alone." I say, the last part not as confident as the rest. "I just want to make sure you get back safely" he offers and at that my blood starts boiling. 
"I'm more that capable of taking care of myself! I don't need you to babysit me because last time I checked I was the one that was older than you" spit out at him, pressing a finger on his chest. Getting more and more irritated with every breath and watch as his eyes get wide, surprised by my sudden hostile nature. 
"I'm s-sorry I didn't think tha-" "And that's exactly what your problem is. You don't think about what I want or even what I don't want. Now will you please leave me alone? I don't want to deal with this today and I don't want you to follow me" I say, punctuating my words so it'll get through his thick skull. 
He opens his mouth to respond but I cut him off again before he makes me even more upset. "Don't" I say and walk away, throwing my food away in the nearest trashcan and descend down the step into the subway station, hoping and praying he doesn't follow me. 
This time around though the universe smiles down at me, granting my wishes but leaves behind a broken and beaten down Jungkook, truly trying to figure out how everything went so wrong. 
Wednesday / Friday Series Masterlist
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ddejavvu · 1 year
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james potter has lovely hair and it’s well known that the reader is fond of it. whether this is romantic or platonic poly marauders, or James x reader, it doesn’t matter much but
he decides to prank them by saying he’s planning on getting a buzzcut. genuinely devastating news, cus his hair is so lovely. i think sirius would be in tears, reader sat next to him but manages to say through he sobs that he’d look lovely with a buzz cus he’s so pretty that he could pull anything off. remus returns from his quick “gotta hide the electric razor” trip to yank softly on the back of sirius’ hair and tell him to stop being a baby, cus it’s just hair (even though him and reader are blubbering in solidarity, reader at least tries to be supportive, but sirius treats it like a first degree felony)
idk if he’d tell em it’s a prank so quickly if perhaps (I’d do this I’d do this id do this) reader gets all touchy and just has to bury her face at the top of James head for a bit of a mourning period.
sirius switches tactics and says that no one will have anything to hold onto if he buzzes (not true)(james is fuckin massive)(I’ll hold onto his bicep by my teeth if I have to). if they’re not together atp i could see James being like fine 🙄🙄 guess someone’s gonna have to show me what I’d be missing 🙄🙄 quick, im changing my mind 🙄🙄 (little shit)
nsfw under cut // minors dni.
--
sirius would definitely throw a fit without trying to be nice to james, like a full on kicking screaming begging no prongs don't do it!!! i'll throw myself off the roof if you do!!
and yes ur trying to be so polite about it, respect his say in what he does with his own body, but you're sooo sad :( there's little tears gathering in your eyes and james is this close to confessing it was all just a tease to get you to stop crying but remus rushes off to the bathroom to 'wash his hands' (read: hide the razor like you mentioned) so he waits until he's back first, but the antics just continue and he never wants to stop getting doted on!!
he's hugging sirius like don't worry pads! it'll grow back eventually. and sirius is like NO. NO YOU CAN'T. PLEASE.
then you ask for just a bit of time alone with his hair. so you get up onto your knees beside him on the bed and drape yourself all over his head (subsequently putting your boobs in his face) and he's like hehe :] yeah say goodbye to the curls baby :]
remus honestly is just sitting there with his head in his hands i think. just. mourning in private. doesn't wanna bother james but is deeply devastated. so he's not quick enough to catch sirius launching his next attack, which consists of 'what are we gonna yank on during sex, prongs?' and remus pops his head up like. yeah this could work.
"S'true," Remus pretends to deliberate, throwing a pointed look at James, "'Can't tug on those pretty curls if you chop 'em off, Prongs."
with your boobs in his face and now both of his boyfriends talking about yanking on his hair, he's.. coming around. he's definitely not telling you it's a prank now, he just goes right for the belt buckle like 'alright boys, interesting point. i'll need some research to make my final decision.'
you best believe that's the best fuck james has ever had and will ever have, and sirius is generous with his silent treatment after he finds out it was just a prank, too, only ignores him for three days instead of a week <3
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sheeple · 11 months
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Miracles don't exist | 9: Something fishy
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Genre(s): Riddle!reader / Slytherin!reader / kinda slowburn / little happy moments Fandom(s): Harry Potter Pairing(s): Theodore Nott x Reader / Harry Potter x Riddle!reader Summary: Being the Dark Lord's daughter and raised under the strict supervision of the Malfoy's is no easy life. Especially if you start crushing on your father's arch-nemesis, Harry Potter. And that while being engaged to one of his follower’s sons. Warning(s): None this chapter A/n: Did I use dialogue of Catching fire. Maybe. But that scene is so damn cute and I love it how Peeta looks at Katniss. Ugh [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist] [Playlist]
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The days grow slowly less cold but wetter when the second task approaches in February. It's been weirdly quiet. No letters from your aunt or uncle and no letters from your father. You're very relieved that he hasn't written to you in such a long time. That means he is too weak, he's too occupied with something evil and nefarious, or he's dead. You highly doubt the last option.
You walk with your cousin and his friends to the dock so you can take a boat to one of the three platforms. You see Harry walk not much further from you next to Neville and you speed up, catching up.
"Hey", you say, making both boys turn towards you, "Good luck with your task. Please be safe, yeah?"
Harry nods shakingly, obviously anxious about what's to come. You reach out for his hand and give it a squeeze. "You can do this. I believe in you." You give him a small smile, hoping it gives him some sort of comfort.
"Where are Hermione and Ron, by the way?" You look around but don't spot the redhead and the brunette that's usually not far away.
"I don't know", he mumbles. "They've been gone since yesterday. McGonagall asked to talk to them and since then they haven't returned."
You frown. It's not like them to just disappear. "I'm sure it's nothing. Maybe they are a part of the task?"
Harry looks solemn towards the water. "I rather hope not."
Arriving at the boats, a hand on your waist steadies you as you step into the wooden boat. You look up and see Theodore glaring at Harry, who looks too anxious and concerned with the second task that is minutes away from happening to even bother.
The other Slytherins fill the remaining seats in the boat and you wave goodbye to Harry.
Nobody says anything but you feel the glares from around you. "What?", you snap.
"Seriously, Potter?", sneers Draco, his bottom lip curled up. "You know what I have said about fraternizing with the enemy."
You sigh, massaging your temples. "For Merlin's sake, Draco! The boy is terrified! Who knows what he is going to encounter down there. If it were you, you would already be screaming and crying to your father to put an end to the tournament."
Draco's jaw ticks but it seems to shut him up effectively. 
The boats stop at the raised platforms and you immediately get out, not accepting the outstretched hand of Theodore. Seeing your opportunity to get away, you climb the first set of iron steps to get to the top deck. There you have a nice overview of the water and the surrounding landscape.
Your head rests on your hand as you lean against the railing, waiting for the contestants to get ready to dive in the water when Theodore slides into the empty space next to you. "I've been thinking─"
"Congrats on using your brain, Theo. You didn't strain it?"
Theodore stops and looks at you with raised eyebrows. Quite perplexed.
You bite your bottom lip. You've grown too comfortable too quick at the idea of Theodore being your friend and you've overstepped boundaries. "Sorry. I've never been really good at being friends."
He smiles, obviously enjoying your little quip. "For starters, it helps when you know the person. I hardly know anything about you except that you love muggle books and that you have the most amazing smile, even though you rarely show the real thing."
The comment about your smile makes your cheeks heat up but you decided to push it down. "That about sums me up."
"There is more than that, you just don't want to tell me."
"It's like I said─"
At that moment Professor Dumbledore starts his speech to explain what the second task contains and with the sound of a cannon firing, the contestants jump into the water. Harry follows after them a couple of beats later.
Theodore leans close to you and says, "Listen, Black, how the whole friend thing works is that you have to tell each other the deep stuff."
"The deep stuff?", you whisper back, your eyes focused on the murky water.
"Like...", he glances up at the sky, "what is your favourite colour?"
Turning towards him, a smile adorning your face. "Now you've stepped over the line."
The both of you laugh. You slap a hand over your mouth and hit Theodore in an attempt to quiet him down before it attacks the attention of the people around you. 
Still smiling, Theodore props his head on his fist and says, "seriously though, what is it?"
You think for a moment. What is your favourite colour? Most of the clothing that you own is black and dark green, but that's more to blend in with the rest of your family and the Slytherin students. Your room back home is also mostly black. The only colour you can think of is-
"Pink", you decide.
It makes Theo's eyebrows raise in surprise. "Pink?" He looks perplexed. He for sure expected you to say some variating of green or something.
"Pink", you confirm. "But not old pink. More like… a tulip pink."
Theodore hums, a large smile forming on his face. "Tulip pink?"
He bursts out laughing and you push his shoulder smiling. "It's a nice colour! What is yours anyways?"
He doesn't hesitate for a moment. "Green."
"And you're critiquing my colour of choice?"
Theodore bumps against you with his shoulder. "Shut up. The Whomping Willow leaves colour nicely in spring."
One corner of your mouth twitches up and you snicker. "Whomping Willow leaves?"
The comment earns you a look from the brown-haired boy.
The first to get up to the surface is Fleur ─ who didn't finish her task ─ next is Krum, followed by Cedic. At the last minute, Harry shoots up out of the lake and lands on the platform. The crowd goes wild and you jump up and down, happy that Harry is safe and well.
The task ends with Victor getting the most points and Fleur the least, but the winners are Harry and Cedic.
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There is this restlessness in your body, going down all the way to your core. You've been tossing and turning for hours and flipped your pillow over too many times. With a huff, you sit up and decide that you are not going to do this any longer.
You swing your legs off your bed and scramble ─ as quietly as you can as not to disturb the peace of your sleeping roommates ─ for your sneakers and make your way out of the Slytherin common room.
It's quiet when you roam the halls. Of course, it is, it's after curfew after all.
Something in you tells you that something is coming. It festers deep within your soul, twirling and whizzing around. It makes you anxious.
Hearing steps coming from the hallway adjacent to yours, you swiftly hide in an alcove. You suck in your breath in the hope to appear as a shadow. You release it once you see it's Harry that's passing by.
"Harry!", you whisper, making the boy turn his head. His stance relaxes as soon as he sees it's you, and he slides his wand back into his pocket.
"What are you doing out of bed?", he whispers back in the same tone as you walk next to him.
You shrug. "I couldn't sleep. Again. You?"
Harry looks at the ground, searching for the right words. You grab his wrist as a sign he can tell you.
"Barty Crouch is killed. I found him in the forest while walking with Hagrid, Ron, and Hermione. Turns out, Crouch's son was a Death Eater and responsible for torturing Neville's parents."
You hold a hand over your mouth in shock. "Oh, poor Neville. Does he know?"
"No. At least - I don't think so."
You frown. It was never a question of why you felt remorse for the boy. It was your mother after all that tortured the Longbottoms to the point that they are now. And, in your opinion, it's far crueller to leave a boy behind with parents that don't remember him than to leave behind an orphan.
As the two of you pass a hallway filled with portraits, arguing voices cut through the silence of the night before a door flies open and reveals Professor Snape and Professor Karkaroff ─ who has his sleeve pulled up and revealed his dark mark, which slowly grows more intense.
"It's a sign, Severus. You know what it means as well as I."
Karkaroff snaps his head towards the two of you and angrily storms off, sneering.
Giving each other a wide-eyed look, the both of you decide it's for the best to just continue walking. But Snape has other ideas.
"Potter! Black! What is your hurry?"
You sigh and turn around, not daring to look at Snape's harsh glare.
But the Professor's attention is focused on the boy next to you. "Congratulations. Your performance in the Black Lake was inspiring. Gillyweed, am I correct?"
"Yes sir."
"Ingenious. Run along, Black, you mustn't be caught roaming the halls after curfew."
You nod, giving Harry a sorry look before you get house points deducted for whatever Snape is irritated with.
As you round the corner, you know what you have to do. There is no denying that something is going to happen, with the Dark Mark on Karkaroff's arm and the uneasy feeling in your bones. You have to go to Dumbledore. To at least report to him, as you promised.
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Taglist (bold means I couldn’t tag you): @the0doreslover @lqndkxlmqma @st4rrry @choppedpartymuffinwinner @ledtassoo​ @pietrobae @literallyobessed @vanishingcherry @lestat-whore @harrysnovia
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crystalaris · 1 year
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This was massively inspired by @novanitee
I have to say I loved a lot of your Yandere Moonknight stories and couldn’t help but wonder how a Yandere would react to someone who doesn’t want to leave and one who’s happy to stay. So if I’m being honest this was more for me, but I loved how it turned out. I hope you enjoy it as much as I loved your stories
Leaving Isn't an Option
Yandere Moonknight x OC
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It's not so bad, being stuck here.
And 'stuck' is the right word.
I'm not really trapped, per say, just... encouraged to stay put.
Which is easy, it's not like I did anything else before. Go to work, pay the bills, cook, repeat.
Life was monotonous and very, very lonely.
I'm not sure when, where or even how I ended up in the world of Moon Knight. Or even the Marvel Universe. I didn't really get out much, didn't really have a reason to.
Just a boring and lonely existence.
Maybe it was wishing something would happen.
Maybe it was staring at the moon and quoting, "Second Star to the right and Straight on till Morning." Never really knowing if the star was my right or the moon's right because it's never been specified.
But something happened.
Something shifted.
I was no longer there, but here.
Which I understand makes absolutely no sense, but it happened without my knowledge and my days went on like normal.
I've never watched the news, it always felt misleading.
Never bothered with facebook, FarmVille had long since become boarding and redundant. Who waits 4 hours of real life time for one patch of strawberries to grow?
I wasnt going to spend five dollars on speed enhancers.
Never really called my parents, they finally got the kids out of their house? Why would they want to see me?
I've only ever talked to my fellow fan fiction writers and readers on Discord, but we all were focused on our mutual love for Undertale. So not really friend friends, but also not not friends.
Weird, believe me I know.
So absolutely no real reason to leave except for food and the extremely rare occasion for eating out.
I had no real reason to even suspect being on someone's radar.
I had never been and forever assumed I would never be.
Friends and acquaintances? Easy.
Family? Yeah, well you either have them or you don't.
Lovers? What's that? Can you eat it? ...Ew, on second thought don't answer that. Please.
So really, my life wasn't't anything special.
Or shouldn't have been anything special.
My life changed when I had decided I didn't want to cook that day. So I went to a Burger King next to a Starbucks. Simple.
Fill up on the fries and drink, have a burger for breakfast, all for a debatable price of 10 dollars.
Again nothing special.
A sit-down would be expensive and would remind me just how alone I was.
I guess I was pretty predictable, always going to the same places to eat or shop, but I never really noticed.
Never really cared.
Not until he, well I should really say 'they' , pointed it out. And they never pointed it out until they made sure I could never leave, which again I don't really mind.
I met them, him when I walked out the door accidentally spilling iced coke all over the poor guy.
Apologizing profusely, I had offered to buy him lunch as an apology, its not like I could buy the guy a new shirt.
I'm somewhat surprised I didn't recognize him to begin with, sure he looked familiar and his name was Steven, but what really should have sold it was the fact that Steven with a 'V' was Vegan.
Though I was more surprised that Burger King had vegan options, the impossible burger? Really?
I guess its in the name. Still, shocking, both the burger and my own stupidity.
But I liked him.
He was nice, well muscled, dark hair (that was my weakness, those cheating bastards) and polite.
Honestly, what wasn't there to love? We talked. A lot.
I was pretty thrilled when he shyly asked for my number. I thought 'Why not? It'd be nice to have a friend again.' And we traded phones, I never noticed him activate the tracking part of the phone.
I probably shouldn't have been so lazy and trusting (Jake has lectured me a lot on that, really that sweet worry wart) handing Steven my phone, in my defense I've never had to worry about that.
Steven once told me he finally understood why Marc and Jake had wanted to protect his innocence once they had met me.
Others probably would have been offended, me? I was honored and kissed him.
It was... nice, having someone to talk to, someone to text.
Someone I could just be me.
Steven would send these really cute or funny history bits, mostly Egyptian, sometimes complaining that gods can be annoyingly demanding.
Again, I should have noticed, but really would you notice? Or even care too? We all complain about god.
Looking back, I feel like my past self was one of those side characters on Doctor Who that never noticed aliens or the blue police box.
To be fair, its easier to notice things when they don't happen to you. Still makes me feel stupid though.
I never really found it odd that we kept meeting up when ever I was out shopping, passing it off as coincidence time and time again.
Sure there were times I felt someone watching, but every time there was no one following me.
Sure there was a feeling or two that made me glance over my shoulder a few times just to check, but then Steven would show up and it would stop.
Which was extremely relieving, having Steven by my side. After a while it turned stressful without Steven there to shop with. I tried not to, but calling him and asking if he'd like to shop together made the day that much better, that much less lonely.
It was on one such day, after feeling a piercing stare and finding nothing, that I ended up laying my head on his shoulder with a sigh of relief.
Of course I removed it with a shit load of apologies. But to my utter amazement, after he got over his shock, he just smiled and gently placed my head back on his shoulder.
"Are you sure?" I asked, again still a bit worried.
His smile was so gentle, so sweet, so warm, "Of course, luv." And placed his arm around my shoulder. Heaven could never have such forbidden fruit.
I, gladly, soaked up as much as I could.
Steven could be the nectar of the gods with his sweetness, he laughed quite happily when I told him that once, well it was a mumble, but still... true.
We didn't just shop together, I rather enjoyed inviting him over so he could teach me some vegan recipes.
Being with Steven made life, easier.
It was easier to breathe, to enjoy breathing again. I wasn't just moving through the motions of life, I was Living again.
I could actually look forward to tomorrow.
And when tomorrow came, Steven asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend.
I was flummoxed.
Me? Steven wanted me?
I didn't know it but Jake was rather close to fronting and yelling at me for daring to hurt sweet Steven, when I hadn't answered soon enough.
Tears had slowly fallen from my eyes and Steven nearly went into a panic seemingly about to apologize when I softly asked, "Me? Are you sure?"
It was the first time anyone had ever asked. Had ever looked at me.
His smile could have melted gold, easily shattering my shields, ones I never knew had surrounding my heart.
It burned, but somehow in a good way, still it was too much and I looked away.
He had to cup my cheeks in his hands, getting me to look at him. His thumb wiping away a stray tear, "I would love that, luv. Would you be willing to be mine?"
Choking back a sob, "No one... no one ever... ever... no one's ever wanted me."
I couldn't help leaning into his gentle touch, missing the frown that formed, but he quickly wiped it away from their face, "Not like that anyway. I've...I've had a few crushes, but nothing ever..."
I couldn't help looking into his eyes, practically begging for this to not be a dream, searching for even a hint of a lie.
I searched his face, soft and gentle, "Are...are you sure you want me?"
"Oh, baby girl of course we want you."
I wailed clutching him tighter as he leaned me on to his shoulder, as he shushed me rocking me back and forth, " I've got you, baby girl. Shhhh. We've got you. Shhh" years of pain, anguish, want flowed into those tears. "Let it out, mi amor. Let it all go."
I didn't leave his arms that night, or even that weekend. We refused to let go of each other. Sometimes the grips were tighter, or stronger but all it felt like was safety and home. I didn't want them to let go.
I was wanted.
I was happy for the first time in forever.
It nearly tore me apart watching them walk away, but I did have work in the morning.
Work had never been such a drag until then.
It physically hurt to be away from Steven, so I did the one thing I could think of. I went to the hardware store after work.
As much as it hurt not to ask Steven to come I wanted it to be a surprise, but like always I felt those eyes boring into me. It made me want to call Steven, but... but picturing his, hopefully, happy face? I could deal with the discomfort.
The feeling didn't stop, at least I think it didn't, I'm not sure when it did but the older clerk behind the counter had smiled when she saw my fidgeting, "Ah, someone special?"
I could only blush violently and nod my head nervously. Her smile widened, "What a lucky man." She reached behind the counter, and started running the machine.
"Well, ...he's my, my first... so..." my nerves were eating me alive, but it'd be worth it.
"Really?" She looked surprised as the lady looked me up and down, "When I'm glad. You seem like a sweet young lady." The clerk chittered on.
It was nearly ten minutes of constant chattering as the clerk milked me for information.
I didn't really want to brag, didn't want to jinx it, but it felt good to share.
It felt good to smile.
The clerk watched on with a warm smile of encouragement as I called my boyfriend, biting my bottom lip as she handed it over and I placed the small box into my pocket.
-click-
" 'Ello?"
Swallowing nervously, "Steven?'
"Luv?" He sounded a bit worried.
"Yeah, ah hi. I was wondering..." I couldn't stop tapping my fingers on my leg just to use some of my extra energy. Steven, sweet, sweet Steven just patiently hummed, "if you wouldn't mind coming over? Please."
Not even noticing the man walking away on the phone two isles down.
"Sure I wouldn't mind luv."
"Great" I squeaked before quickly repeating it in a more normal voice, " See you in a few"
"See you in a few, luv."
-click-
Letting out a large breath, I turned and thanked the clerk as I handed over the money with a smile on my face, "Thank you."
"No thank you for making this old lady's day. I wish you luck."
I couldn't hold back my chuckle, "And I wish you a good week of good customers."
That made her laugh as she handed me change, "Ah, I see, another fellow retailer?"
"Yeah, first few years of college were horrible."
"Say no more." She said with a smile on her face.
I returned it, "Again, thank you."
"It's no trouble, now go on, shoo!" She waved her hands, "you've got a boy to gift. Shoo!"
I laughed on my way out, feeling happy and hopeful.
A great day indeed.
It turned into an even better day when Steven opened the box to reveal my new extra house key.
I didn't see the kiss coming, "It's absolutely beautiful, baby girl."
Completely shocked, missing how his accent had dropped as I touched my lips a deep blush forming. "What? Baby girl, what is it?"
Looking up, I blushed deeper catching a glance of his lips before staring into those deep eyes, they were the same, yet they somehow held more.
"That- that was my first..." I squeaked.
"Oh, oh!" I never noticed as he held me closer, leading me into a hug as Steven glared daggers at the reflection.
(Jake was so proud, both at Marc's kiss and Stevens glare. His boys were growing a backbone!).
"I'm so sorry, luv!"
I couldn't help hugging him back, squeezing a bit before asking, "Could, could we... again?"
This made him smile as he leaned back and looked into my eyes with his warm, ice melting ones, "Sure."
The second one was warm and comforting, the third became ruff and deep and I couldn't help loving all of them, I felt wanted, I felt loved again.
This man was slowly becoming my entire world.
And everyday he would come over after work.
Everyday he would kiss me at least three times, each with there own flare, each with their own intensity and still I greedily accepted each and every one.
— — —
They, well Steven had been dating her for months, with Jake and Marc coming out on occasion. She never seemed to notice or if she did she brushed it off.
They loved her, they really did, but sometimes he wished she would notice. Wish she'd ask questions, it'd make it much easier to come clean.
Though Marc seemed to enjoy the lack of in his words, 'unnecessary' questions. Jake bemoaned the fact that she was so oblivious.
This may have started with an order from Khonshu, but it had become an obsession over time.
Layla was a strong woman and Marc had loved her in his own way. Marc's ex was strong alone, could easily, has easily fought confidently, side by side with Marc and Steven, but she and Jake clashed, each just as bull headed as the other, making a relationship a bit difficult with the three.
Plus Jake wasn't happy when Layla had smacked Marc across the face.
Marc had defended her saying he deserved it since he left, but Jake refused to let Layla be alone with Marc or Steven.
Deserved or not, if she did it once she would do it again and Jake refused to leave his boys defenseless.
He knew Marc and Steven wouldn't fight against Layla, Jake however...
So the three were just friends, while Jake only tolerates Layla for his boy's happiness. Sure they were sad at the end of the relationship, but Jake knew they deserved better. It's why he stayed as Khonshu's Avatar (and boy was that a shit show when he had dropped the beans, they forgave him and moved on. He really does love them.)
So when an order came to watch someone who doesn't belong in this world, all three went, each curious in their own way.
They would admit the woman was... ... ...boring?
Normal?
Well, she didn't seem like she was any different, but hey Harrow fell off the deep end why can't she?
So they watched and watched, it was an order, an easy order but an order none the less until Khonshu deemed her to be just another pathetic worm that no longer needed their attention.
They... didn't really stop.
They had noticed her schedule, had memorized it to the point they ended up following it subconsciously.
If anyone was to blame it was entirely the god's fault.
Steven thought she was sweet.
Marc noticed how lonely she felt.
Jake saw.
Saw how she was withering away, how she practically begged for protection.
Jake really liked how she seemed to sense them, liked how she trusted her instincts, weak as they were she still had them.
She was a walking contradiction in some ways.
She kept her head down and avoided people, avoided being seen, but they saw her.
They watched her.
They noticed how she seemed to hide and it flared all of their protective instincts.
Originally it was a way to pass time.
They didn't really need to work for money anymore, they had plenty and Khonshu had them take certain jobs, and if Jake could get some money out of it, then all the better.
Steven never really liked the 'blood' money, but Jake and Marc refuse to let Steven get stuck in retail or with another piece of trash boss again.
(Donna is still lucky to be alive, the two are still waiting for the perfect time. Its not murder if something just 'happens' right?)
But Steven didn't mind watching her, so they compromised.
Watching her for the day, and working with Khonshu at night (they slept when she went to work, no biggie).
At first it wasn't hard to leave for Khonshu's 'trips', but it became harder as time passed on.
Soon returning ended up as their priority and Khonshu could careless so long as the job was done.
Since Marc and Steven wanted the job done just as much to get back, Khonshu didn't really have any complaints, "Apparently even a worm has its uses."
He was dutifully ignored.
They wanted to get to know her, to be apart of her life.
And if she broke their heart? Well, Jake would take care of it.
All three had found something in her that they enjoyed.
For Steven, she was sweet (Hah! Told you guys so!) and so welcoming. She enjoyed listening to him and both genuinely enjoyed the documentaries that Marc and Jake became bored to death with. Even making a game of it at one point when she started explaining why one documentary was wrong, elaborating each point and encouraged him to do the same.
Marc, well Marc loved all the cuddles and how she showed that she cared (for Steven) making food and learning recipies together, always finding a way to touch. And just leaning on them in general.
It helped that she never pried or asked for more information. If she did and he said 'no' she dropped it unlike Layla, and would always remind him she was there if he wanted.
It was refreshing if Marc was being honest.
Jake rather enjoyed how she depended on him (them). She would tense up when they watched her from afar, like he said she had instincts.
He really liked when she started calling them every time she even felt remotely scared. Jake loved how she would lean on them for comfort and melt into their embrace after that first time.
It felt good to be needed in subtle ways.
She would ask for their opinions, but would also ask why instead of just obeying. He liked the little arguments, they were fun and unlike with Layla she didn't get violent when angry, just puffed out her tiny little cheeks, ardilla listada (chipmunk) he had called her and she responded with Qué?
"¿Asi que hablas espanol?"
"en inglés por favor"
He barked out a laugh and he loved the way her eyes sparked as she nailed the accent, all three were rather impressed.
"No."
"Sí"
"No"
"Sí!"
Jake, over all, enjoyed her spunk.
He did however nearly lose it when Steven asked her to be their girlfriend and she didn't respond, she nearly broke their hearts, but then it broke for another reason entirely.
She cried because nobody had wanted her.
And, well, that just sealed the deal, she wouldn't leave them, ever.
They'd never allow it.
If only they could get her home, right now.
...but even a starving predator is patient. So they settle for just holding her tightly in their arms, each taking their own turn, but refusing to let go.
Leaving was one of the hardest and yet the most satisfying things they have ever felt.
And Damn, it hurt to leave, but the way she refused to let them out of her sight, the way they could feel her eyes on them?
They had never walked so slow before, never looked back to her window so much. It was amazing to know she didn't want them to leave as much as they didn't want to leave.
So imagine their rage when she was late returning home from work.
Oh, they wouldn't have been worried (they were) since they followed her phone to the hardware store.
If she was mugged it'd be the last thing the asshole would ever know.
When it turned out she was the one to make a side trip, Oh they were pissed.
They loved her, but she should have, no needed to be home with them, she shouldn't have left! Job or no.
Jake wondered if it was too soon to dish out a bit of punishment. They really didn't like how the lady looked at their girl.
Jake did, however, settle a bit when he saw how she looked around and fingered her phone, the other two noticed as well and calmed down, just a bit.
It helped to know she was still thinking of them, still she needed to be at home.
They chose an isle that was close enough to hear them, but still had the perfect view of their girl. Tense shoulders relaxed as their discussion went on.
So imagine their surprise when they answered the call. When Steven met them and was handed a personal gift.
She was definitely forgiven.
And in a way, it allowed each of them to come out. To show themselves to her.
She eagerly accepted their affection and they couldn't be more thrilled.
She was their innocent bean.
———
An: how she came here and how it ends I leave that up to you. Personally I’m a sucker for happy endings
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jamnotjam · 2 years
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First impressions
K.S.M x F!reader
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After moving into a college apartment with 2 men, you learn one of your new roommates is a little bit more down to earth then you thought.
Rating: smut
Word count: 2.5k
Warnings: exhibitionism, perv!seungmin and lowkey reader too, mutual masturbation, college au, mention of porn, reader lowkey has a hand kink, fingering
Requested: no
Note: thank you guys for 50 followers! ❤️ I cant believe I'm growing so fast. Also my name should just be "jams-voyeurism and exhibitionism-bakery" cause that's all I write about atp
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“and this can be your bunk,”
Felix says as he sits your bag on the top bunk in the shared room
“you can have this desk, decorate it however you want!"
Felix pats your back reassuringly while gesturing to a desk next to an identical one, just with less stuff on it.
It was your first semester, it was your first time sharing an apartment with anyone, let alone two men, Felix is pretty nice though, so maybe the other one is too
“Seungmin is on the bottom bunk, but he won't bother you”
Felix ruffles your hair before starting to walk out
“when will seungmin come home?”
You blurt out as If ts the last time you'll talk to him
“well, he's in class, and he usually studies at the library until it closes, so you'll probably be asleep by the time he gets home”
you nod and sit your bookbag on the chair
“but don't worry, you can meet him tomorrow”
Felix reassures, flashing you a sweet smile with crescent moon eyes as he leaves the room.
sure enough, he was right, the whole day passes, you spending time decorating your room and conversing with Felix, and no sign of seungmin.
You start to wonder if there even is a seungmin, maybe seungmin is just Felix's imaginary friend and he actually doesn't exist.
you sigh as you hang another polaroid picture on the wall next to your bed and take a bite out of one of the brownies that Felix insisted on making for you.
you look down at the small electronic clock on seungmins desk,
"11:35 pm"
you sigh and rub your eyes,
'don't worry, you can meet him tomorrow'
Felix's words replay in your head, you don't know why you are so dead set on meeting seungmin, maybe its the fact that your new here and don't wanna make a bad impression, or maybe he's as cute as Felix and you're eager to see, that one sounds silly though.
you lay down and decide it's time for you to go to bed, maybe a good night's sleep will clear your mind.
you pull the blanket towards your face as you close your eyes, feeling yourself drift off to slumber.
after about 20 minutes, you hear the door open, assuming it's Felix, you keep your eyes closed and mind drifting off to a dream, that is until you hear an unfamiliar voice curse under his breath, you stiffen, is this seungmin?
you feel a soft hand gently shake your arm, you turn over, eyes focusing on the unfamiliar man, wide puppy-dog eyes are the first thing you see, though they're slightly blocked by large glasses, fluffy fringe that covers his eyebrows, a goofy smile topped with braces that you can only describe as adorable.
jesus, he's cute.
he giggles, looking away as you two make eye contact
"sorry to wake you, I just-"
He looks back at you
"I'm Kim seungmin"
"I'm y/n y/l/n"
he smiles and looks at the polaroids you hung on the wall
"Felix has already shown you around, right?"
you nod
"right"
he pats your arm lightly and nods
"good"
he takes his jacket off before getting his pajamas from the shared closet
"I'm gonna go get changed, goodnight"
you smile
"goodnight, seungmin"
you turn over in the bed and close your eyes, satisfied with your first meeting of seungmin.
5 minutes pass and you hear seungmin come in the room again,
"y/n, are you awake?"
he whispers, you stay still, hoping he was just trying to make sure he didn't wake you up for good and doesn't actually need anything from you, its too late and your too tired to even get out of bed.
you feel the bed gently shakes as he lays in the bottom bunk, you hear him sigh, you turn over in the bed again, facing the room, unable to go back to sleep as it was interrupted, you see seungmin reach over and pull a pair of earbuds off his desk.
after a few minutes of only the faint sound of the busy street outside your window, you hear a soft groan from the man under you, your eyes shoot open,
did I just hear what I think I did?
you think, praying seungmin just makes noises in his sleep, then you hear another, this time more high pitched, almost like a whine, you start to turn over to the edge of the bed, curiosity filling you, when you hear skin on skin, the sound of someone jerking off
seungmin jerking off
You want so bad to look. you squeeze your thighs shut, feeling yourself getting wetter by hearing his low whines, moans and the sound of him stroking his cock, you scream at yourself internally, just go to sleep, go to sleep, stop being a pervert, you repeat to yourself in your head, but if anyone a pervert in this situation its seungmin, he's the one jerking off in the room with someone he only met an hour ago.
you cover your mouth with your hand, trying to cover your shallow breaths and small whines as you rub your thighs together, you hear seungmin fisting hs cock faster
fuck it
you think, you lean over the side of the bed, looking own at the man below you, and its as beautiful as you thought.
eyes squeezed shut, mouth agap and a single strand of spit trailing out the side of his mouth, blush that spreads from his cheeks to his neck, fringe stuck to his forehead with sweat, shirt pulled up enough to show his defined, yet soft abs, and beautiful, long slender fingers wrapped around his cock, you cant help but think about what else those fingers can do.
he furrows his eyebrows and bucks his hips into his fist as long spurts of cum shoot onto his stomach, he whines quietly as he rides himself through his high, slowly stroking his cock.
he looks at his phone, deleting the tabs of porn he was watching but eventually forgot about as he got lost in pleasure, he wipes the cum on his fingers off with a box of tissues next to his bed and lays his head back on his pillow, eyes shut as he catches his breath, this is probably the time you should stop watching, you already feel bad enough for intruding on a private moment, but he just looks so pretty.
he opens his tired eyes, meeting yours as you stare down at him from the bottom bunk, you immediately roll over again, holding the blanket to your face, silently praying, hoping somehow he didn't see you, even though you know he did.
"y/n?"
he whispers, voice still as soft as before you clutch the blanket to your face please just sleep, please just sleep, you repeat in your head, not sure if you want you or seungmin to sleep at this point, you hear seungmin roll over, hopefully falling asleep.
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The morning comes and your the first to get up, mainly because you didn't even sleep in the first place, you sit at the small dining table in the kitchen, eating a leftover brownie and reading a book.
felix comes out of his room, yawning, eyes barely open as he scratches the back of his head, he opens the fridge
"how did you sleep?"
he asks, voice raspy, he pulls a box of muffins out the fridge and sits them on the counter
"not the best"
he pouts
"why?"
"just, anxiety about being in a new place, yknow?"
he nods and picks up a muffin and banana.
he sits across from you
"did you see seungmin?"
you look up at felix, the guilt flooding back to you as you remember why you really didnt get any sleep, you nod
"y-yeah..i did"
Looking down as you feel your cheeks heat up. you hear a door open and close again, you don't look up, you already know who it is, you see seungmin out of the corner of your eye, he takes Felix's muffin out of his hand and sits down
"hey!"
Felix shouts playfully as he reaches for his stolen food, seungmin laughs, you look up from your book at him, he's even prettier in the sunlight coming through the windows.
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It seems like seungmin has a routine, wake up, go to class, study at the library, come home, jerk off, fall asleep, act like nothing happened the next day, and you do too, listening to his pretty moans has become a nightly recurrence for you.
you felt bad about it first, but I started seeming like he wants you to, he's eventually stopped checking if your sleeping first.
Tonights like any other night, you make dinner with Felix and watch a movie together, he goes to sleep early since he has early classes tomorrow, and you start washing up, cleaning up the plates and bowls you and felix made messy with the home cooked meal.
you hear the front door open, along with seungmins voice
"hey, y/n!"
he closes the door and sits his keys on the coffee table, you look at him and smile
"hey, seungmin"
he sits at the table
"you made food but didn't save any for me?"
he says, sarcastic sadness in his voice, you snicker
"sorry, Minnie"
he laughs
"its okay, I ate earlier."
you finish the dishes and wipe your hands off on some paper towels, you sit across from seungmin.
"hey, I'm glad were alone, i wanted to talk to you about something"
he fiddles his thumbs, you watch his pretty fingers, not eve focusing on what he's saying
"yeah? what is it?"
"i know you listen"
your eyes widen and you look up at him
"huh?"
"you know what i mean, at night, when you think i think your asleep, i know your not asleep"
your face burns red
"seungmin..i-i-"
he snickers
"its okay...i kinda..look forward to it"
You stare at him, mouth agape
"what?"
"i like when you listen, honestly, i never masturbate often, but I've been doing it more since you moved in"
he looks down, face as red as yours
"i can stop, if you want-"
"n-no, i look forward to it too, your...moans are pretty"
he laughs lightly
"ill try not to hold them in then"
he stands up
"I'm gonna go get ready for bed,"
he leans towards you
"you can watch tonight, if you want"
his words shoot right down to your core, already feeling wet from just thinking about it, you get up and go to your room, changing into your night clothes as seungmin changes in the bathroom.
you sit up on your bed, nervously threading your fingers together as you wait for seungmin, he comes in after a few minutes, bulge already prominent in his loose pants, he smiles as he looks up at you, he gently rubs your arm
"do you...wanna sit on my bed with me?"
you nod
"sure"
he helps you down and sits on the bottom bunk, he sits at the top of the bed and you sit at the bottom, facing each other, he smiles softly
"are you sure you wanna do this?"
he asks, you nod
"yes, I'm sure"
he smiles and sits back, resting against the bedframe, he rubs his cock through his pants, keeping his eyes fixated on you, soft moans falling out his mouth.
you lick your lips and fixate on his hand, the way his fingers glide against his clothed cock.
he pulls his pants down to his thighs, enough to free his needy cock, you whine quietly at the sight of his it, causing him to chuckle, you watch as he spits on his hand, he wraps his slender digits around his cock, he sighs in relief and throws his head back.
You watch as his face contorts in pleasure, even with the torturous pace he's flicking his wrist at.
you bite your lip as you feel yourself getting wet, you rub your thighs together, trying to get rid of the ache between your legs.
"fuck, y/n"
seungmin grunts under his breath, he looks at you, his pace quickens, he lifts his shirt up
"d-do you wanna touch yourself too?"
"y-yes, fuck"
you say as you send your hand into your shorts, he smirks as he watches you rub your clit
"y/n,"
he breathes out as his eyes roll back,
"your dripping through your shorts, are you that turned on?"
he licks his lips as he looks at you, you look away
"don't be embarrassed, baby, I'm flattered"
you feel your stomach churn and your face heat up at the pet name, you slip two fingers into your cunt, thrusting them at the same pace of his strokes, moans spilling out your mouth as you try to focus on him.
his thighs and stomach tense as he cums on his stomach and hand. he pants and licks his lips as he comes down from his high, the only sounds in the room are your heavy breaths.
he looks at you, your hand stopped but still in your shorts, he chuckles
"do you want me to help you finish, baby?"
you nod vigorously, he smiles and sits up, crawling over to you, he wipes his hand on his short and hooks his fingers on the waistband of your shorts, he pulls them down slowly, eyes locked with yours.
he pulls your shorts to your calves along with your panties, he looks down at your cunt, licking his lips, he runs one finger up your slit, gathering your juices on his finger before pushing it into your hole, he thrusts his one finger in, watching your reaction
"m-more..please"
he smiles and inserts another finger, thrusting slow, but hard into your cunt, you lie your head against the wall as your eyes roll to the back of your head
"fuck, seungmin"
he smirks, speeding up
"feels good?"
you nod, he rubs your clit in circles with his thumb as he thrusts his fingers into you
"gonna cum?"
"a-almost there, seungmin, fuck"
you muffle your moans with the back of your hand as seungmin grips onto your thigh, he adds a third finger, drilling his slender digits that you've been fantasizing about into your needy cunt, kissing your g-spot with every thrust.
your orgasm rushes over you, you shake as you cum all over his fingers, he keeps his thrusts at a steady pace, riding you through your high.
He pulls his fingers out, watching as they glisten in the moonlight coming through the window.
he wipes his fingers and your thighs off with a few tissues
"thank you"
you mumble, he smiles
"no, thank you,"
he pats your head
"and by the way, you said my moans are pretty, well yours are even prettier"
You two giggles as he helps you get changed, you lay your head against his shoulder as you hear a knock at the door, very groggy felix speaks
"can you guys keep it down, please?”
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Sorry if this isnt the hottest fic, im going through abit of a block rn
Feedback appreciated!
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painbutitspoetry · 1 month
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There's nothing quite like growing up with grief. Because that other second grader I hang out with on the playground doesn't want to hear about my dying mother. So I don't talk about it. So I lose all my friends when I'm 10 years old and skipped months of school to watch the last of her hair fall out and the flesh melt off her bones and suddenly I'm laying my hand on a cold body and my dad is trying to find a pulse with an apple watch but there is none. So I switch schools and no one even knows that I still pull out four plates for dinner and have to put one back and it's nice but also terrible because then how can they know me? Because then I have friends who are like oh my god I have such trust issues you have no idea but the thing is I do have an idea because the doctors said 2 years and I couldn't handle it but a few months later she was gone and I shattered so yeah I don't trust anything because the world is cruel. And my white relatives tell me to be happy she's with Jesus now knowing full well she never believed in Jesus and they truly think she's in Hell when all she wanted was to be a Stingray. And maybe your friends are annoyed by their parents putting time limits on their phone but guess what I spend every day worrying about my dad because he never cries and one day when I was 11 he looked at me and said the reason he never stops working, never lets himself relax or pause or process is because he spends every waking moment afraid to become Katniss's mother from the Hunger Games, so consumed by grief that she leaves her children to raise and fend for themselves, and my heart splinters because it's my fault my dad can't properly grieve. It's having a friend who was kinda-not-really bullied in 5th grade tell you she tries to be more than her trauma and the scream that builds inside you because that girl has no idea what it's like to spend every day trying to be more than the kid with the dead mom so instead you pretend like your mom never even existed. You pretend like you don't lie in bed every night trying desperately to remember what her laugh sounded like, what her arms felt like around you. Growing up with grief is wishing on every birthday candle that your mom is happy and safe wherever she is and having aunts buy you random clothes that are nothing like you because they pity you and think this will make up for the lack of mother figure. It's the whispers in my head that say no wonder I'm so coldhearted, it's hard to be motherly when you don't have one. It's the fact that she never knew I was a lesbian. It's this barrier, between you and all the other kids because they just don't get it, and you feel so wrong because I'm sorry this sold out lipgloss doesn't bother me but my mom is dead
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alpimerealmsystem · 9 months
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About Us!
To start this off, we're a RAMCOA and mixed origins system, that bothers you? Feel free to leave
Now that that's over with, hi! Nice to meet ya, welcome to the chaos. The main side who runs this blog is Manik, he's an Angel Dust fictive from Hazbin Hotel and goes by any pronouns :) He's our front anchor and host, and we rely on him for a lot of stability in the system. Another host we have is Kringe, although he's mostly in co-con, he may fuck around here sometimes tho!
Our system origins are fucking weird but we're a distorpid system + esogenic + gateway + delusionbased + HC-DID + cephaloconcious system however even though we are an HC-DID system we still just call ourselves endogenic because it's easier and fits us better. We have a duplex system (sharing a system completely, our "innerworld" is the same) with our honorary sibling @oxygenatedbots
About the system - We're a system of 800+ as of last updated, but our system is forever growing and we consider it to be eternal. We also are uncomfortable with the terms alters/headmates being used for us due to our origins and prefer the terms sides/sysmates when referring to us. Of course, you can also just use our names. Most sides originate due to spirtual beliefs but we believe trauma has also majorly influenced our system, with that being said, we are primarily endogenic and have decided we have been plural for a good while, but when we did "split" we were going through extreme trauma, so really we don't know what we split from but we do believe you dont have to split from trauma. Oh, also please don't use the word "innerworld" when referring to us! Call it Alpime or the Inneruniverse, thanks!
DM me asking for a cat pic to cheer you up, I shall deliver
SEND ME ASKS FOR STUFF YOU WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT. We'll post poetry, short stories, alterhumanity, non-humanity and system related things if ya ask!
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Pronouns ~ Collectively He/They/Thrive/Grow/Way/Path//Point/World/Cosmo/Void/Planet/Star/Moon/Night/Astro/Dark/Shadow/Spirit/Glow/Glimpse/Ghost/Fade/Dreary/Corrupt/Virus/Hack/Glitch/Music/Song
Kintypes ~ Voidkin and snow leopard therian. (But I will say, our voidkin identity is heavily influenced on being a plural system)
About me ~ The body is minor so please be aware of that. Anyways I'm a proud mom to three cats, love them all equally (we know that's a lie) we can't get any diagnosises due to our own situation irl however we are self diagnosed with a lot- so here's the full list. DID, anxiety, depression, OCD, NPD, BPD, schizophrenia, autism and ADHD. BPD and OCD tend to collectively be shared across the system to a more extreme extent, but specifically OCD, and we all tend to experience both of those very similarly. We consider ourselves mentally and physically disabled, even though we can't get a diagnosis for anything due to personal reasons we know at least we are limited in a lot of areas. About the physical disability we don't know exactly what it is but we experience constant lightheadedness and sometimes blurry vision and it genuinely negatively impacts our daily life
Posting schedule ~ we post poems sometimes! Depends on motivation levels and how busy we are but that's actually why we started this blog! and then depending on other shit sometimes we'll do short stories, system posts and alterhumanity related posts. Yes this blog is chaotic, yes atm it's mainly reblogs, no we don't give a fuck.
Stuffs I write ~ I write a lot of darker topics in my poetry such as us ruining the world, mental health, etc. I do put trigger warnings on some of my posts so please keep this in mind y'all. About my short stories, I wrote partially just fiction stuff or I may start with a prompt. The other half of the stuff I write is going to be werewolf/Lycanthropy/therianthropy themed!
DNI ~ Idgaf who interacts anymore, if I don't like you I'll block you but just be aware of our identities and apply your DNI to us, if we're in it get the fuck out. We're probably that freak in your DNI anyways (totally stolen from a friend, love ya!)
Misc ~ PLEASE GIVE ME RECOMMENDATIONS!!! Feel free to *flood* my inbox with requests, I will get to them! I'd seriously love to know what y'all want for short stories and poetry! If you give me a recommendation it will be a bonus post and not one of my daily things! Spam likes are fine, welcome, and appreciated! It's always great to know what y'all enjoy. Feel free to ask as many questions as you want about my writing and also criticise me! I'm totally welcome to take y'all's advice and I'd love to improve on my work! Also feel free to send me drafts for poems, I will make them my own style and give you full credit for the ideas and how it was executed ^^
About the blog-ish: Different sides may post certain things, some will leave sign offs, others won't, but be aware of this. My blog is not a place of hate or to discriminate, I want this to be a safe space. Do not come to my blog being a bitch, or saying my beliefs are not valid, or saying other's beliefs are not valid. I will block anyone who says stuff like that. This blog is centered around writing, alterhumanity and system shit. If I fuck some info up in a post TELL ME. I do research everything but I've had some angry people dming me, please politely say I messed up info and don't scream at me. I am trying my best, but my best isn't always perfectly accurate. I primarily speak from my own experiences but when I don't I'm relying on the beautiful thing we call the Internet and opinions vary on here. I want to make my content as accurate and relatable as possible so please do tell me if I mess up. This blog also mentions mental health and trauma occasionally so typically I do put TWs. Anyways, that's all! Love ya!
I need friends, feel free to reach out (especially if a system, would love more system friends. Also only minors, bc the body is sadly
I think that's it, thanks!
Last updated ~ April 4, 2024 - Manik
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violetsandfluff · 2 years
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Concept: You've moved to LA with Charlie but you don't have the means to dress like the girls in his peer group
They make fun of you and Charlie finds out
So he picks some pretty little outfits for you
I'd love to imagine what he'd choose
cewt. you give the best concepts 😫😌 but sorry this took a little bit 😬 tw: crying, being upset in general, nudity (not graphic), a bit of smut at the end, and spiders. 😖
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“Baby, I wanna go home.”
Your words thudded like bricks into your unsuspecting boyfriend’s ears.
“Why do you want to go home, love?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “What happened?”
He had just emerged from the bathroom and been bombed with your request, catching him a little off guard.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” you answered carefully, feeling tears creep into your eyes.
“Are you sick?”
“No, Char. I just wanna go home.”
Though confused, Charlie agreed and called an Uber to pick you both up and bring you home. After he’d done that, he walked in the room to say goodbye to the friends that had invited him there.
You insisted on staying outside and waiting for the car to come, but in truth you’d just rather be anywhere else.
You stood outside, leaning against the metal railing, staring blankly at the ground until you felt yourself slipping easily into Charlie’s arms.
He burrowed his face in your hair before asking, “What happened in there, sweet girl?”
You didn’t turn around to face him. You couldn’t. You simply stared ahead before saying, “Nothing. I’m just tired. And maybe I don’t feel well.” This wasn’t a lie, of course. The comments had made you sick to your stomach, frankly.
Charlie didn’t push it. He just stood there, silently holding you, until the Uber arrived.
He helped you in before climbing in himself, and the Uber began driving you home in silence.
You spent the ride playing with your hands, picking at your grown-out nails, trying not to bite them while Charlie sat silently beside you.
He didn’t say anything until you got home, but you knew it was coming.
“If you’re sick, baby girl, you can go lie down for a few minutes. I’ll start a bath for us.”
You knew you weren’t sick in the sense he was expecting, but you did as he said anyway. You didn’t bother pulling back the covers, laying on top of them was enough. They were so soft and they smelled like Charlie.
Charlie rustled around in the bathroom as he made the water nice and warm for you. You could almost hear him adding your favorite bubbles to the water to cheer you up.
He called you, but you pretended to be fast asleep so that he would carry you into the water instead, but your plan nearly backfired.
He poked his head into the room from the connected bathroom to see you curled up in the middle of the expansive bed. “Baby, if you’re sleeping, I’m gonna tuck you in and take a bath without you.”
Moments later, you found yourself scurrying to his side, begging for him to pick you up and carry you into the water.
He just gave you a soft smile and pulled you into the bathroom, where he undressed you and sat you down on the toilet so he could undress.
You watched him in awe, feeling more than usual. Usually, you felt lust upon seeing him, and pride that he was yours, but right now you felt unworthy. And it stung.
“What’s that, darling?”
“What’s what?”
“On your face.”
“What’s wrong with my face?” Your hand reaches up to touch your face. Was your makeup smudged? Was there a spider?
“You look sad, princess,” he explained as he scooped you up and lowered you into the water. “Can you please tell me what’s wrong?”
You repeated every word that had been spoken to you while he had ducked into the bathroom for a couple of minutes, and you felt him growing tense beneath you.
“Who said that?”
You repeated the names tearfully, not wanting to upset him further because he was already boiling under the surface.
“Y/N, I can’t believe it. Well, I believe you, but…” he trailed off for a moment to collect himself before restarting. “I—why wouldn’t you tell me? I could have taken them aside and”
“That’s the problem, Char,” you said, your voice giving away your emotional state. “You’re too confrontational sometimes. I just want you to… I don’t know.”
“Babyyyy,” Charlie drawled. “Tell me, please? I want to make it better.”
“I just want you, assuming you even still want me. I don’t want drama. I just want my Charlie.”
“I only want my Y/N,” Charlie said, willing himself not to cry. The tears falling down her cheeks mad him just as emotional. “Fuck all of them. If they don’t want to accept my baby, they don’t accept me either. Easy as that.”
- - -
“Turn around for me, baby. Wanna see that pretty little ass. Make sure it’s covered and perfectly modest, you know.”
“Charlie, since when have you ever wanted me to be modest?” you asked, tipping your head to the side a bit. “Thought you liked seeing my ass.”
“Attention whore,” Charlie cursed. “Turn around, lemme see.”
You turned around, making sure to dance a little bit in front of him. You were wearing a red bikini that he had selected just for you. It fit perfectly. It covered your boobs in all the right places and lifted them up**. Your entire middle was bare, showing off the skin Charlie loved so dearly. On the bottom you wore a matching red piece that didn’t cover anything in the back. Good thing you were going to an adults-only beach.
“Sexy girl,” Charlie murmured as he pressed his finger to his bottom lip. “Try the coverup on.”
You slipped into your sheer black coverup and Charlie gave a satisfied smirk. “That’s my girl.” He watched as you disappeared back into the bathroom to put on another outfit.
He was planning on taking a beach trip with you, and only you, and he had gifted you some outfits to bring along.
They were cute and trendy, but above all sexy, just for him.
The outfit that you were putting on was what you’d wear on the ride and checking into the hotel. It was comfortable and light, but also… sexy. (It was Charlie, what do you expect?)
You emerged wearing a tight white crop top that hugged your chest perfectly, and a pair of patterned pants that accentuated your butt perfectly**.
Charlie broke into a fond smile upon seeing you. “It’s perfect,” he said as he ran a finger across his lips. “Just how I imagined it looking on you. But I have one last thing.” He handed you a small package which he had wrapped in a plastic bag. “Go try it on for me? Please?”
You gave him a confused look, but returned obediently to the bathroom where you opened it in awe. Inside was the most beautiful lingerie set you’d ever laid your eyes on**. You almost didn’t want to put it on, but you did.
Charlie was too big a temptation.
A sheer white fabric covered a thicker bra and panties, and lacy coral trim bordered the seams. There were lacy hearts strewn around the fabric, and your breath caught when you looked at yourself in the mirror. Your first thought was, “I look so sexy.”
Your second thought was, “Charlie’s about to go insane.”
Taglist: @wayfcharlie @fishingirl12
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chronicbeans · 10 months
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I'm sorry if I'm bothering you but can I please ask for a yandere Ren from Persona 5 with a Yuutsu darling
And where he starts to grow attached to her and one day he confesses his feelings and she accepts but on the condition he'll marry her
Yuutsu is an OC of mine and you can find more information on her at my posts here on Tumblr I'm sorry if this sounds weird and you don't have to take this request if you don't want to
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Of course! I'll try my best, since this is my first time writing for an OC that isn't my own. From what I could gather, she seems like a very soft-spoken and nice person, that is willing to put others over herself. If this isn't entirely accurate, I apologize!
Of course, just so everyone knows, Yuutsu belongs to the lovely @nunezs-stuff !
Yandere Ren Amamiya x Yuutsu (OC)
TW: Stalking, Mentions of Past Abuse, False Criminal Accusations, Bullying, Intimidation
It was entirely a coincidence that Ren met Yuutsu that day. Being extremely late to the first day of school does make it harder to properly meet your classmates, as well as secure a poor first impression, but Yuutsu seemed to not only be happy to meet him... But completely alright with his tardiness and the unsavory rumors floating about. A girl as soft-spoken as her having no problem with such a disturbing rumor about him was a shock, to say the least, for Ren. That, and the fact that she seemed to go out of her way at times to talk with him.
Asking how he is feeling, making sure the rumors aren't getting to him, and even asking for the truth from HIM. Not from the teachers, not from the other students, but the center of attention, himself. When he explained how the accusations against him were false, but he was still charged for the crime, he was sure Yuutsu wouldn't believe him... but she did. She did, and it struck a chord somewhere inside of him. An odd chord that made his heart flutter, as if a million pink butterflies made a home inside of it, and it was ready to burst at any moment.
Once that chord was struck, he started acting different. When the teachers would mention anything about her hair being dyed, he defended Yuutsu. She is expressing herself. Her outfits and hair hold no weight in whether or not she gets good grades, so why should it matter? She's doing well in school, as far as he knows, so it clearly isn't holding her back. Any student who says a thing wrong about her gets intimidated by him. Sure, he may not LOOK tough, but he has a criminal record. Even if Yuutsu knows that he didn't commit the crime, most of the other students don't. As far as they know, when they see him march up to them and give them a stern talking to, it's the equivalent of a thug approaching them to beat them down. No one will say a word about her, her interests, or anything else revolving around her on his watch.
Wherever Yuutsu goes, Ren follows. If the school schedule and Cafe Leblanc' opening and closing times don't get in the way, he will be there. In fact, he may even invite her to try out some of the coffee and curry at Cafe Leblanc. He doesn't see why not... It would save him the time of finding out her schedule, then finding her wherever she is at to go see her.
When he unlocks his persona and the ability to go into the Metaverse, everything gets worse. He now has a tool which could be used to get to know her, without having to follow her around. He'll do as much digging as the Metaverse let's him. Does Yuutsu have a shadow in the Metaverse? Does she have a palace? If so, what is it? What caused it? What can he learn about her from it?
It's at this point, Yuutsu most likely realizes that something is off. Ren looks more tired than usual. He seems to know more about her than he should. She never told him about what her parents did. About the horrible expectations they forced upon her, or what happened with her mother. Ren knows, however, having slipped up when trying to get her to relax and take a break from studying before she hurts herself. After having enough of... whatever was happening, she decides to confront him about it.
Sitting in a booth at Cafe Leblanc, she pops a question "Ren, we are friends, right? Can you tell me how you know about my parents. I don't remember telling you about them." Everything is silent, before she opens her mouth to repeat the question, wondering if he just didn't hear her. She's proven wrong, however, when Ren cuts her off.
"Look... Yuutsu, I know I'm not the most exciting guy. If anything, I'd say I'm pretty ordinary compared to a few of our classmates. I have my ways of figuring things out, however, that I can't really explain... If I tried, I am pretty sure you wouldn't believe me. I can tell you WHY I learned about your parents, though." He makes his way out from behind the counter, continuing to speak as he sits down across from her. "I love you. I love you so much. You are so kind, no matter what happens. You accept those that don't fit in with what society considers normal or decent. You dress how you want, act how you want, and pay no mind to those who tell you not to do that. I love you, so much, I can't even describe it. I think about you everyday, worrying about you, and try my best to do what I can to help you when you are in need. I love you, Yuutsu."
She tenses as he suddenly places his hand on top of hers, finishing his confession by saying "I wanted to make sure everything was okay at home. Now that I know the struggle you have gone through, alongside the fact that you have stayed so kind when some others let those experiences change them for the worst, I find you even more beautiful than before. Yuutsu, will you please be my girlfriend?"
There is a thick silence in the air. For a second, Ren fears the worst: she'll reject him- no, she'll FEAR him. She'll FEAR him like all the others in their school. However, she shocks him. Instead of saying something like "No... you're scaring me." or "Get away from me! How did you get that information?!", she looks him in the eyes, making a proposition.
"I'll be your girlfriend, if we get married in the future. The near future, preferably. Marriage is very important to me, so I want to make sure our priorities when it comes to our relationship don't conflict."
His eyes widen, a grin forming as he quickly responds "Of course! That's what I was hoping to hear, actually! I'd love to get married! Should we start planning now, so we can be prepared for when we can afford it? I'll even make a savings account for it. I love you so much, I can't wait to get married!"
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elisysd · 9 months
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Little sneak peek of what you can expect in Gold Rush.... out next week. 🤭💛🌸 If you want to be part of the tag list, don't forget to let me know.
She joined him the next day. She could always spot him in a crowd. It was the way he was always carrying himself, calm and collected, as if nothing could bother him. He was hiding away behind his Ray Ban, focusing on something on his phone. The soft smile that was playing on his lips was one Julia knew well, there was only one person on this planet that could make her dad smile like that.
“How is mom doing?” she asked, kissing his cheek, and taking place in front of him.
“How do you know it was your mom?”
“Your face.”
“What is wrong with my face?”
“I don’t know! You just have a special face when you talk to mom, that’s it.”
Charles laughed and shook his head.
“Your mom is great. She spent the day with Kika. She misses you.”
“I miss her too. But we will be back in Monaco in no time.”
“Expect her to not let you leave the house, she is going to be all over you.”
“Not if you are all over her first!”
The ended up taking a few pictures together to send to Lyanna before starting their lunch. Naturally, they began to talk about the season. Charles was trying hard to not tell everything to his daughter, she was not part of Ferrari, there were things she was not supposed to know, even if he knew she wouldn’t tell a soul. It was hard for him, he had to admit. He was so used to talk to her about everything and anything when it involved cars and F1 because she understood it so well.
“I met Ethan at the hotel.” she said, playing with her food, nonchalantly.
He didn’t say anything, waiting for her to keep talking.
“He is still an ass. He didn’t change.”
“What did he do this time?”
“He exists. That’s enough. But no, really, I was running towards the elevator and he kept the door opened so I could slip past the opening.”
“That’s actually, something nice to do. I know people that push the closing button as fast as they can so the no one can come with them.”
“Well that’s what he would have done if he had known it was me. But then he just couldn’t help himself and opened his mouth. He always ruins everything. It could have been a silent elevator ride but no, he had to be an ass.”
Charles sighed. If when they were younger seeing them bickering about everything was funny, it had become annoying.
“Ju’, you are 23 soon 24. Both of you. Don’t you think it’s time to behave like adults and not teenagers?”
“I didn’t do anything! It’s him!”
“I’m not going to act as a referee in whatever little war you have going on. Or you sort things out with him as adults, or you ignore him. But I’m not going to spend the season hearing you complain about him every chance you get. Time to grow up and be mature, princess.”
“I thought you were on my side!” she complained.
“I was on your side when you were three years old.”
“But…”
“No, but. Believe me, no one in the paddock wants to witness your little petty fights.”
“It’s not petty…” she grumbled.
“Yes, it is, princess.”
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revereworks · 2 months
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A letter to the boy with sea glass eyes ~ 3/17/24
Dear D,
There was this period when I finally got over myself and remembered that you are very much in love with your girlfriend and it isn't just a fake relationship like the books. You actually love that girl.
But that only lasted for a week and then I remembered why I liked you.
I try to come up with reasons that you secretly resent her. To this day.
Her friend played puking noises all throughout class the other day and your girlfriend thought it was the funniest thing in the world; she couldn't stop laughing. I hated it because they had looked at my group and shushed us even though it was partner work and then they pulled something like this.
And I coudl tell that you were less than impressed by it all.
I think that maybe it gave you the ick.
I don't mean this in a negative way, but you are essentially a immature boy. It surprised me to see you frowning, especially at your own girlfriend. It surprised me when you told them off and to grow up a little bit.
I guess that doesn't stop you from sharing your car with her. And it certainly doesn't stop you from bragging about her with any chance that you get.
I want you to sit with me one day or near me. I want you to see me near my friends so you can see the best possible me that there is, the one that is open and smiling and not shy.
I want you to laugh at the words that I say.
I now I'm probably the most obvious girl in the world. I wonder if you can see it in my eyes, if my awkwardness comes off as me being uncomfortable and shy or if you know that I look at you whenever I can.
My friend doesn't like your haircut. And, I'll admit, at first I didn't really like it either. I loved it when your hair was a little longer. But when I got used to it, you didn't look bad at all.
I think you're cute and handsome and funny.
And honestly I wish you would look at me more but also I wish I was invisible to you. I'm self conscious around you. My hair feels ten times more greasy, my skin is a thousand times more oily or dry, my break outs are the sizes of mountains.
More than anything, I want you to look at me and see the person that I am. It would be more than nice if you thought I was beautiful, but I would just like it if you thought I was a cool person to be around.
It's been a long time since I believed in god, but I pray to him. I ask for him to allow you to see me, for me to see you.
At the end of the day, I know nothing about you. I'm just another girl in the school that has a crush on you. If you ever did break up with your girlfriend, I would be last on the list of choices.
You didn't even add me back.
I want to be over you. I want to be able to talk to my friend when I'm in a class with you and stop looking over to see if you can hear me, to see if you think I'm funny. I want to stop feeling anxiety over what I will wear. I want to stop feeling self conscious when you look over and I think you're looking at my friend more than me.
I just want to be a girl who has a strong bond with her friends.
I want to control my emotions and let you go.
Isn't that supposed to be the test of love? If I truly love you, I should let you go.
I'm glad you're happy. I'm glad that you are thinking about college and a life outside of high school. If we never met again but it meant that you never were miserable or regret anything then I am more than willing to watch you go.
Soon I think that I will have to say goodbye forever.
Like I said, I barely interact with you. So I will not be seeing you after you graduate. When may rolls around, I will have to say goodbye for good. But you will not hear those words come from me.
I don't think that bothers you much.
But I don't have to say goodbye now. So this is what I will leave you.
Hello,
A
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layla-carstairs · 1 year
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Just because James isn’t annoyingly extroverted doesn’t mean there’s “nothing” to him 💀
Not everyone needs a non stop talker like Will or Jace because believe it or not those two annoyed alot of us. While James is more quiet like Julian and Jesse. Nothing has to be wrong with that, CC knows the majority of readers want those Will type of Main characters but she switched it up and has talked about James and his quietness before. Introverted men exist, it’s nice of her to have a different male personality as the lead for once and not someone who’s cracking jokes every five seconds.
If you want a silly and fun MMC there’s always TID and TMI to re-read! TEC too! Magnus, Will, and Jace can all provide that.
It’s her book her characters, if she didn’t care to give Matthew a POV what can we do about it? Nothing except complain and whine.
This fandom I tell you..Poor CC
I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say in that post.
I'm a big fan of James being different than Will and Jace; in fact I think he should be more different. Which is what the story stories (like The Midnight Heir) set up. Instead, I think CC kinda backpedalled on that front and made tlh!James more like Will and Jace. (I can't tell if any of this makes sense 😭). Also by "not much of anything" I meant James kinda lacks a definitive personality in tlh because he kinda just exists to be manipulated for Belial/Grace/Tatiana etc's plans. Which isn't to say he doesn't have any sort of personality at all, just that his character is constantly being overshadowed (lol) because the plot demands it. He also doesn't really have a character arc?? like James doesn't learn or grow as a character, the bracelet doesn't count imo. Personally, I would have liked to have more focus on him becoming more confident in who he is, shadows and all. There's a small conversation he has with Ragnor in Nothing but Shadows where Ragnor tells James he was waiting for him to ask for help (as a fellow warlock) but James never does because he's only ever seen himself a Shadowhunter. It would have been nice to see that be followed up on in some way and ultimately would have created a more satisfying conclusion then them just... losing their powers for... reasons.
(Also for the record I am not really a Jace or Will fan?? They annoy me too 🧍🏻‍♀️)
I am well aware that these are CC's books and she can write them however she chooses to; that doesn't mean as fans we have to agree with her. I'm just voicing my thoughts on my tumblr blog, and, yeah, sometimes they can be critical. You don't have to agree with me. Personally, I like pulling things apart and finding imperfections, or thinking about other possibilities or just in general discussing a media's flaws. I have no interest in only talking about the good things or singing CC praises every time I log on to this app. It might make me seem like a hater, but all my hating it done out of love <3 so I'm going to continue complaining and whining tyvm. If that bothers you (or CC), feel free to block me.
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