#hi. im not diagnosed with either of these. but i know from research i have a few traits of them both. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yantooning · 1 year

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Hi! I've been on quite the gravity falls kick lately, so it's so nice to see someone writing for that fandom!

I was wondering if you could please write some Headcanons about Ford Pines (romantic) and Stan, Dipper and Mabel (platonic) taking care of a reader who's chronically ill and/or recovering from surgery?

I just got diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and it's kinda bumming me out, and I also am prepping for a really big scary jaw surgery. In case you're wondering about symptoms and such, the symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritis are just a lot of pain and inflammation in my finger and knee joints - I always wear compression gloves and knee sleeves to help with that, alongside using antiinflammatory gels.

As for the jaw surgery, I won't have my jaw wired shut (thank God) but I'll still have trouble talking and will need to be on a liquid diet for awhile, as well as just being in an insane amount of pain. I imagine the Pines would come up with a 'thumbs up or thumbs down ' system for that sort of thing, and Mabel would insist on making all sorts of soft dishes herself. There would be a LOT of milkshakes and ice cream lol.

You can choose either one of these scenarios you feel most comfortable with, but I'd be ecstatic if you could do both! But I understand if that's not possible, so it's up to you. Have a great day, I'm wishing you the best hun 🥰

hi there!! id be happy to complete your request :) im chronically ill as well (i have a load of illnesses but my chronic pain stems from fibro and EDS, which is not super fun) and have had a handful of surgeries so i understand completely how it can be such a bummer!! prepare for some gravith falls lovins >:) hope your recovery goes well and everything goes smoothly for you!! wishing you sm love and care!!

THE PINES X READER RECOVERING FROM SURGERY!

ford pines x reader (romantic), platonic pines twins + stan

general headcanons

ford does SO MUCH research prepping for surgery. like to the point of he knows more about the entire procedure + your condition and how to care for you than you yourself!

hes just so nervous even if its a low risk surgery, he just doesnt wanna see you in any pain!! hes gotten surgery before too (metal plate in his head) so he also knows a bit of what the recovery process is like.

dipper does his own research as well, not as extensive as his great uncle but enough to know what to look out for and how to care for you just in case he's needed. also so that he can tell mabel to stop doing something because lets face it she is very chaotic LOL

she means the absolute best but she's never gotten surgery nor is she chronically ill, and for someone recovering, could be a bit over stimulating.

stan doesnt do research but he DOES make the den all nice and cozy for you once youve returned from your surgery. he allows you to use the chair he normally reclines in and has a fold up table situated next to it with anything you could possibly need. he doesnt say much but he shows he cares by doing this, and you appreciate it so much

mabel sews you custom compression sleeves, socks, braces, you name it! that girl is crafty as hell and her love language is making things.

dipper isn't as creative as his sister, or crafty, but he's always offering to make med runs for you if you're too tired to go!! he likes being able to help in any way he can, and doesn't mind driving out of town to get anything you need.

ford probably figures out his own sciency or magical recipe for a topical gel for you! hes wicked smart and wants to ease your pain in every possible way he can. hes putting all of his phds to use!!!

stan also has arthritis!! a different version, but he understands your pain. he's got a load of orthopedic equipment he's happy to let you use. he knows how much of a sucker his brother is for you, and you're an important part of the family. he'll do what he can to help out!!

scenario

"We're back!" Ford's voice exclaimed from the doorway, helping you slowly walk in and sat down in Stan's recliner, which had been set up at the perfect angle for you to lay comfortably. Ford carefully helps you into the chair as two pairs of footsteps can be heard coming down the stairs (one pair running excitedly and the other walking at a fast pace).

"They're still a little loopy from the anesthesia, and can't really talk, so we'll be doing the thumbs system we talked about earlier, kids," Ford said, gently stroking your hair in a soothing manner whilst talking to Dipper and Mabel.

"I MADE YOU A GET WELL SWEATER!!! Waddles tried eating it but I made sure it was completely in tack for you when you got back!" Mabel said to you excitedly, proudly presenting her sweater. It was a red rust color, with the words "Get Well Soon!!" hand stitched to it. Sweaters were her love languahe, you had discovered while living with the Pines family (cue your closet, having its own section dedicated to Mabel sweaters).

You managed a small smile and a shaky thumbs up, and this was enough to make Mabel happily set it on the folding table next to the recliner. Dipper look like he was struck with an idea, and rushed into the kitchen, grabbing your pain medication and a glass of water.

He gently set it on the table next to you, and you gave another shaky thumbs up.

"Sorry about that, Grunkle Stan told me to set that out but I got so absorbed in the new journal," He said sheepishly, and you gave a small shrug to let him know you weren't upset.

"Ooh! That reminds me, dinner is on MABEL TONIGHT!" Mabel happily exclaimed, fist pumping the air excitedly. She was rarely allowed in the kitchen, or more specifically, near the oven. Even if she wouldn't be cooking anything, the thought of caring for someone and making them a dinner of ice cream and smoothies was very appealing to her.

At some point you had fallen asleep, Ford sitting on the couch next to you gently holding your hand. Stan had joined him on the couch while the two watched TV. Ford eventually too took a small nap on the couch while still grasping your hand.

When you awoke, it was to Mabel gently tapping your shoulder, careful not to harm you.

"I hate wake you up, you and Grunkle Ford were so cute!! It was definitely a scrapbookortunity... But I have your dinner!! Vanilla and chocolate ice cream with a strawberry banana smoothie!! Courtesy of Mabel," she added the last part with a playful wink before handing you the bowl and setting the smoothie on the table.

You could hear Stan and Dipper in the kitchen while Ford slowly woke up from his nap on the couch. He rubbed his eyes underneath his glasses before glancing at you lovingly. How you could still look so lovable after getting surgery and ravenously eating ice cream, he wasn't sure. But he loved you so much he didn't question it.

He leaned over and pressed a kiss to your forehead, mumbling a small greeting against it. You slowed your eating and gave a weak smile, to which he happilt returned.

Yeah, you were glad you had the Pines while you recovered. You wouldn't have anyone else.

#stanford pines x reader #ford pines x reader #stanley pines x reader #stan pines x reader #mabel pines x reader #dipper pines x reader #gravity falls x reader #gf x reader #disney x reader #headcanons #oneshot

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alexiela73 · 1 year

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hi!!! im sorry if this might be a little bit of an odd request, but i just wanted to ask for a few (romantic) relationship headcanons with Hanzo! but if his s/o is gender-neutral and has multiple mental illnesses (namely autism, schizophrenia, DID, and anxiety!) i just want to know how you'd think he'd treat them 🥹 whether it's from like... the crushing phase -> the actual relationship phase 👉👈 I've just been struggling with a lot irl esp with my mental illnesses and hanzo has been a huge comfort for me;;; thank you sm in advance and again I apologize if this is such a weird request >< please feel free to ignore this if it makes you uncomfy!!! pls have a wonderful day ahead ^_^ /gen !!

So this is actually the second time I am writing this. My computer fritzed out on me AS I WAS TRYING TO POST IT. I apologize, as I’ve had to cut it shorter, it was SO LONG THE FIRST TIME and I spent forever on it. I hope it was what you were looking for.

Hanzo

The two of you met through Genji, who you’d become friends with after you both met at a local animal shelter.

Your friendship accumulated over the course of two years, and it wasn’t until two years later that you met his brother Hanzo.

At first, Hanzo was a bit standoff-ish, which was fine with you. Being around him was a bit difficult at first- his impassive face made it hard to know what he was thinking or feeling, and he always seemed intimidating.

Genji though was determined for you two to get to know each other. He joked about Hanzo being incredibly socially awkward, and how he didn’t always seem to know how to fit in with this day and age.

You two actually started to open up a bit when you realized you had a few common interests, including urban myths and a select few video games. They were easy for you to talk about, flowing off your tongue excitedly as you spoke about your progress in Stardew Valley or how fun it had been playing Pokemon Legends of Arceus. Hanzo seemed to have no trouble following your line of thought, even as you cut from one game to the next.

The two of you gradually saw more and more of each other, till finally there was no need for Genji to be the middle man.

There were days he’d worry about your silence, and others where the two of you lose yourself to the simple pleasures of the world around you. Walks in the park, walking through the malls in the late evening when it was quietest.

He never seemed bothered when you said you needed a break, or that you were over stimulated. He was more then willing to find a quiet nook and either rub your back, get you a drink, or find something to help ease you out of the sensory overloads or anxiety attacks. He was good at keeping guard especially, and never rushed you and badgered you to calm down.

Although you knew it would eventually happen, he did finally ask about something Genji had mentioned to him-about you having autism.

He asked if it would be okay to talk about it, as he’d never spoken to someone with autism before. The fact that he was more curious then annoyed about it gave you hope.

While it made you a bit uncomfortable, you decided it was best to get it over with. You explained how you had been diagnosed from an early age and the impact it has had on your life growing up. How it affected your home, your friendships, your work and your passions.

It hasn't always been easy, you admitted. With all that came things like depression, anxiety- getting overstimulated easily sometimes or not being able to handle certain textures or sensory noises.

You explained it was different for everyone- the severity, the effects, the symptoms- the habits, the coping mechanisms, the limitations. You felt lucky, because there were so many things you could do that felt impossible for others.

Hanzo listened with such intensity, and you spoke openly for what felt like hours. He seemed to soak in all the words, absorbing it all and of course you told him he could always do more research.

"People with autism...can still have relationships though, right?" He asked, seeming a bit embarrassed. The question surprised you a bit. Hanzo was never one to ask such personal questions.

"Of course. It can be difficult sometimes...people sometimes assume that having autism means we're stupid or don't have the same kind of feelings or desires as other people. I know I want to date someday...I don't want to feel like I'm going to be alone forever for something I never asked for," you said, your voice quivering a bit. How often that thought consumed you...

"I see," Hanzo said awkwardly, before he looking down at you. "Then...would you consider possibly...erm. Would you consider going on a....date, with me," he managed to get out finally.

The question stunned you. "Date? Like, you want to go out with me? Romantically?" you asked.

Cheeks flushing faintly, he looked away and gave a hard nod. "Yes. Yes, I do," he says quietly.

You took a moment to think of what to say, what to feel. You wanted to run, to crawl into the ground and hide. You felt ecstatic and overjoyed and overwhelmed and scared.

"...Can I think about it?" you asked finally. "I really need time to process it...I need you to think about it too. I have a lot of good days but my bad days...Some days, it feels like I'm suffocating. Like if I move, I might shatter. Like the world is clawing me down below the waves. And other days, I really just need to be alone. Touch is....is a lot for me sometimes. I can't just stop being me-"

"Don't stop being you," Hanzo says quietly. "I don't want to change you. You're different, and not just because of the disorder. I like you, y/n. I....I like you a lot. I want to try. I want to learn how to support you and to comfort you, and to be there when you need me. I just...want to be present."

Admittedly, no one had ever asked to be present for you like that. Your mood changes, being overwhelmed, stepping back and even your sensory issues were challenging for most people.

"I...Are you sure? What if it...becomes too much for you," you asked meekly.

"Then we talk. I value our friendship, y/n. I feel though I'd be doing us both a disservice by not being honest with you on my attraction to you. We can take all the time you need, go at your pace...just...just take some time to think about it, okay?" he said.

When Hanzo went home that day, you really took the time to think about it. To think about him, and whether there was any attraction, emotionally or physically to him. Whether it was worth it...

It took a week of thought, and ever patiently did he wait. When you finally agreed to try, that day you felt aflutter with hope. With happiness.

And as promised, you both took the time to talk. To build slowly on the relationship, to earn the trust of each other. Hanzo never made you feel bad about your worst days, never made you feel different for the way you spoke or the struggles you'd sometimes face.

He was an amazing partner, just the kind you deserved.

The kind who loved you, all of you.

#hanzo #hanzo shimada #Hanzo Shimada x Reader #Hanzo Headcanon #Hanzo Shimada Headcanon #Hanzo x Autistic Reader #Overwatch x Reader #Overwatch #Overwatch Headcanon #ididmybest

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richardsphere · 24 days

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Leverage Redemption Log: The Work Study Job

Ultraviolet catastrophe is indeed a great bandname.

Girl walks in, "how could you"... im putting money on plagiarism? (its the only crime i can think of a student could figure out. Sure he could be working on a quantumphysics/nucear radiation based weapon for the military, but a student wouldnt know) Pressed continue, im right. Stage fright/anxiety. As someone who has never been diagnosed with anxiety but has some pretty anxiety-esque tendencies... this will be a hard episode for me. --- Skipping over the "client meeting" bit, cause nothing much happened there (besides the obvious) Back at the theatre Breanna has the powerpoint. Turns out, not only is he a fraud he's also a climate-change denialist (not because he doesnt believe in it, lobbyists just pay him).

Turns out Harry used to go to this school (he also used to do "little yellow pills")

Harry and Breanna are ideologically seperated? (i dont think they are, Harry isnt saying "the system works", for godssake he's on team leverage AKA team fuck the system) but we're gonna be force-fed some BS here. But Breanna is being really harsh here. Like all Harry is saying is "I have connections here, and I have built up enough credit with 'donations' that these doors are open to us".

Harry: Look guys, The slow option exists and any crime involved in getting her her research back could permanently destroy the girls legitimately and ultimately cost her the very future we're trying to get her back. If we steal it from him and she gets her stuff back, he'll just claim she stole it from him. Sad Parker: But I love crime! Harry: Ok you can do a little crime, as a treat.

Sophie is calling the shot: We'll at least give the official route a chance. (She does not seem to be under any illusions it'll work but have to get started somewhere) --- I agree with Sophie, "ultimate frisbee" is a dumb name for a sport.

Dean Alreadyforgothisname drops a tech billionaire, which feels like either someone we'll return to later in the episode or a future mark.

Elliot is stealing the camerafeed for Breanna, But gets spotted by someone who redirects him elsewhere to fix whatever needs fixing. Parker complains that college campusses, campussi? Campi? are too easy. The one way to prevent Elliot from kicking your ass: Be someone he genuinely likes and/or pities. (he's gonna be evil isnt he? Obligatory third act twist) Harry cant distract this guy too long, They find the stuff (its behind the whiteboard) but while Parker manages to hide Breanna is found --- Breanna, when a mark says "oh you're the janitor" your response is "yes let me just take the trash out", confirm their suspicions and biases. But now that you've failed the slam dunk exit time to flatter his glasses and ego, (and bait him with a new, promising student he can plagiarise next) He tries to bait her with an impossible question, but she sees through it and exposits that she actually knows what she's talking about. But breanna has made herself an opening next monday --- So he's looking to "sell" (techcically lease) the patent to this clean fusion research to an oil company.

Mr "genius" doesnt seem to understand what "installed backwards"means.

Breanna stalls and redirects the oilguy, Floyd is about to interfere with Elliot. Harry is going to request the hearing,

Floyd is suprisingly happy with Elliot. Are we shock-therapying the Oilcorpo?

Oh Floyd has friends (presumably the actual backbone staff of the institution, secretaries, accountants etc.) --- Ok so its a secret Illuminati order of janitorial staff. I've seen this joke before but also, dont mess with the janitors man. They know where the bodies are hidden as well as where to hide yours.

As far as taking Gray down, Elliot just won the fucking lottery.

Meanwhile Harry gets what amounts to an out-and-open admission of corruption from the Dean. (Rule number 1: Never admit to your crimes where Leverage is near. They have recorders in their ears. The Dean's job priviliges are hereby revoked.)

"we need all the crime". Simple line but it works. 8.6/10 --- New plan: Convince Gray that the girl stole the research from a third party and its way more valuable then he thinks.

Breanna tells Emma to help Sophie

Sophie on a greenscreen doing a Ted Talk, Elliot plants a book with Sophies thesis in the library.

Gray just entered the suplycloset/Sophies Lair. Sophie, you could've waited 1 minute, given him the time to steal stuff on camera and strengthen your futures.

--- Time to feign Tech Billionaire Status (that guy from earlier is getting dropped again) HARDISON IS PLAYING THE SPACEBILLIONAIRE! I am loving this. They really realised exactly how much leniancy a greenscreen gave them to work around this guys schedule. the legit look of glee on Sophie's face when she realises Hardison is joining this con. She (character) doesnt even need to fake it. (i dont want to presume on the feelings of the actor)

Hardison, you ducked up your coverstory in the first line. A tech billionaire admitting that their people did the work not themselves? God if only we lived in a world where that really happened. (i mean an ideal world obviously wouldnt have billionaires in the first place but one step at a time)

Gray has taken the bait. Sophie boner-baits him into a rush decision.

Problem with a violin scam, what if they have an actual buyer lined up. --- Ok so list of problems: Getting Emma in the room, Goading Gray to over-extend. Getting rid of a billionaire's security. thats 1 big problem and like, 2 quarters of a problem. (Emma is the legit issue, anxiety sucks)

Huh this tech billionaire is actually rather open minded and sensible. Ah they let him realise they're conning him to move the guards out of play.

All the janitors working together to funnel this guy into his doom. Gray tries to prevent Emma from meeting the Tech Billionaire just in time for commercial break. (he's about to gloat on a wire, while the billionaire is locked in a box with a functioning speaker hearing him admit everything) --- Oh yeah the billionaire went to school here, he's been in Gray's class and knows enough science to know that when a professor claims to have all the answers rather then admit "i dont know that, i'll look into it" from time to time its a big red flag. Obviously fuck billionaires, but on the scale of fictional billionares this guy is pretty good.

"I have Tenure" "We have a Harry".

#Leverage #Leverage redemption #leverage redemption season 2 #the work study job

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anti-endo-haven · 1 month

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not exactly sure how to trigger tag this so tldr: venting about an ex friend who fakeclaimed me and a therapist i used to have who didnt really help me and kinda did the opposite (probably not on purpose, but it still kinds fucked some things up for me)

----

thinking about the times ive talked about the possibility of having did with an old online friend of mine (who was a singlet) and they never believed me. i did so much research and trying to open up about it but when they told me i should stop it felt like everything i knew had fallen apart and was different

back then i remember before i told him about it i actually had known about some alters i had, they had actual names and personalities and even innerworld features. i remember one of them was a little kid with blonde hair and a pink dress and a black cat hat (exactly like a hat i used to have irl) i havent seen her around anywhere in a couple years sadly, since my friend told me i was faking. i wish she was around longer because she seemed really sweet. i think she went dormant bc of the stress our friend had put us through

i remember i had what i assume was a full switch to her which is why i wanted to talk to someone about it but the online friend i had at the time would constantly fakeclaim me and say things like "you cant be a system if youre under the age of 20" (even though... systems usually develop before the age of 10) and "youre faking because your typing is weird" (this alter was a little, a fucking child, so of course her grammar wasnt gonna be perfect) i literally remember switching to her as me and this person were talking and they still thought i was faking because "you just learned about this disorder and now youre acting like you have it" (maybe because.. ive had it for so long that when i finally found the words that have helped me describe it im trying to embrace it and learn to heal. maybe because for most of my childhood i felt like something deep inside me was wrong and broken and when i found out about did things suddenly started clicking for me)

even my therapist at the time didnt even try to figure out why i thought i had such a serious disorder, she just immediately dismissed it when i brought it up with her. i find it a bit funny though because before i brought up did with her she had told me i probably have *some kind* of dissociative disorder (she never specified) and she even gave me meds for it (which honestly made it worse, i can only remember like one thing from that time period and it was someone telling me "my energy felt off") while i dont think a therapist should always immediately agree with their patient when it comes to trying to diagnose something i think they should try to help them figure out if what theyre suspecting is truly what they are dealing with or if its something else, ykwim?

----

im so sorry for this being so long :( i didnt mean for it to be but it still ended up being a whole essay .. anyway this is my first time posting to this blog so hi !

id like to claim an anon tag, would 🌌🕹️ or tsc/the stardust crusaders be okay?

That ex-friend is wild… You can absolutely be a system under the age of 20, I’ve seen 14 year olds get an official diagnosis and be able to get some help/support for it. Not a lot of people might know about it until they’re older especially in therapy because they have to cross bases and make sure it isn’t something else. And even if someone does months/years of research, they might not fully know or be questioning for a while.

Some people also accept it faster than others. That doesn’t make them fake either. For us, we had started questioning when we were around 19, doing research and everything to help out and going to different sources, we’re now 20 and a little bit past the “I’m fake” self-doubt (imposter syndrome) and doing what we can to function.

Your therapist should have absolutely made sure to cross bases. I’m not saying that in like a bad way. But the medication pushing just… isn’t it. That seems really strange to me to just agree, not ask questions on why, and just give medication out like that…

But you guys aren’t fake, that friend is gone, hopefully that therapist, too. I hope you all are doing better!

And, yep! You can claim all of those!

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moondoposting · 2 years

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We know Marc developed DID when he was around 8 (I believe that's how old he is in the flashbacks as a child). But I do really want to know when he was officially diagnosed. Like did Elias take him to see a psychologist as a child like in the comics where he was diagnosed or did he find out later? I really want to know how long he's known he has DID

ok disclaimer from post-writing me. i kind of typed a lot more than i thought i would. it is very stream of consciousness oh my god. also i do not have DID so any information comes from my own personal research and is not reflective of every experience. i will HAPPILY be corrected if anything ive said is harmful/incorrect. also if any of my timeline stuff is wrong!

oh my god when i say i was literally just having this exact thought anon PLEASE get out of my head

because ok

like you said, comics, we already know. but mcu, we dont get aaaaany indicators of when he found out iirc i think partially as a result of marvel's refusal to name it in the show but w/e

and its really setting me on an interesting path of thinking about marc going through most of his life like we see steven in episode 1. just kind of living his life, but with occasional blackouts that leave him somewhere he doesn't recognise having done something he doesn't remember. maybe even rationalising it to himself as a sleeping disorder like steven does.

like, the closest i could think of him finding out would be around 10 probs, if his dad takes him to a psychologist like in the comics (which side note, was so fucking well integrated and didnt feel stupid or forced literally marvel you could have just done this) or latest? honestly after his mom's death? like that event perpetuates a lot of things. and maybe the fact that he finds himself blacking out more and more prompts him to seek a diagnosis (even if he wasnt looking for a did diagnosis specifically).

mmm but then who was steven calling. i always assumed marc set up a number to call.

but then theres also khonshu saying his mind is broken or w/e and marc doesnt give an indication of either "wtf how did you know" or "wtf what are you talking about". and then theres marc saying he made the deal to "save us". but that might have been an after the fact realisation.

HONESTLY MAYBE HE ONLY FINDS OUT CAUSE KHONSHU IS MESSING AROUND IN THERE. khonshu finds this funny british guy bouncing around in his head and hes like "omg marc check this out" and marc has a whole existential crisis about it. so when khonshu finds ANOTHER guy in there hes like "yk im just gonna. keep quiet about this one" and silently feeds him snacks on the side.

cause he also doesnt mention getting booted from the army for a botched psych eval iirc!!! cant lie in an evaluation if you dont know what you have. maybe getting kicked out for the dissociative fugue state incident is what motivates him to get a diagnosis. maybe its mandated after the event. idk enough about military protocol to speak on that.

all is to say marc is definitely aware To Some Degree of what is going on with him, he just probably doesnt have a name for it. which is like. fine. diagnosis is helpful but its not the be all and end all of experience.

i think in any of these scenarios, at least when he was younger it was a lot easier to understand as an "imaginary friends" situation and maybe that faded as he grew up maybe it didnt IDK.

ok so tldr

situations where he would have gotten some kind of diagnosis that would be the most interest story-wise IMO

young, around 8-10 - follows the comics completely, has him spend most of his early life some degree of institutionalised (would explain his mental association with mental hospitals)

post military discharge - pretty big point in his backstory, would work to really solidify the shame he feels around his mental illness (being very public and on record and all that) and would make sense as there would probably be some kind of investigation into the incident that would lead to a diagnosis

post-steven's reappearance - would be the culmination of a Lot of things happening in his life to the point that even stubborn marc spector can't cope and seeks out help. would explain why layla didnt know as i personally believe he cuts contact with her after his mom's shiva. does bring into question a lot of the more solid aspects of steven's life tho, like the phone calls.

crack versions that make me laugh

khonshu just drops the bomb on marc one day and it fucks him up so severely that he never brings it up again

#i wasnt kidding when i said you sent this Exactly as i was having these thoughts #this is literally what all of my writing docs look like #im literally just gonna copy paste all of this into my draft doc lol #asks #marc spector #moon knight #NOT PROOF READ SORRY

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ralphiesaces · 2 years

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hc that hinata shouyou has GERD/reflux

TW: mentions of: vomiting, food

making this hc fluffy for personal reasons

if you don’t know what GERD/reflux is, its basically the stomach fluids kinda coming back up bc the muscle of your stomach that prevents that from happening either doesn’t close properly or doesn’t close at the right time

this can cause build up in the esophagus of food or phlegm

basically its really uncomfortable

for more detail: look it up! im not an expert, and its different for every person

okay on to the hcs

shouyou, as we know, has issues with his stomach, and tbh i projected onto him and always though that he was vomiting instead of actually using the washroom

typically shouyou eats like three hours before games just to try his best to prevent lots of phlegm build up in his throat

so the team didn’t know for the longest time until a particularly gruelling practice/training camp where meals where at set times and he was forced to eat a little too close to it

one minute shouyou was jumping around like normal, then he bolted off the court to the nearest trash can

everyone was just like “🤨 what?”

suga totally thought he was sick

once shou finished vomiting, he just kinda, awkwardly explained it?

“it just kinda... happens...?”

and then he goes back on the court

like he vomits, and a second later hes fine

eventually the team makes him a small trash can he can bring on the bench

its rare he actually ends up puking, but since exercise can cause it to flare up, they play it safe

he also blows his nose whenever he gets subbed off in an attempt to clear his esophagus (i works for me lol)

by their third year, kageyama carries plain crackers in his bag, bc thats all hinata can eat within like three hours before their game/practice

tsuki used to deny it, but now he lets it be known that he brings, like, gatorade for shou

yamaguchi carries tissues for shou and you can’t tell me otherwise

they actually have jokes about it

they’re v concerned whenever it happens, bc even though they take precautions, its still a disorder and doesn’t go away easily

but shou has always let them joke about it

the poor first years (when shou is in his third/second year) feel bad whenever it happens bc they get so scared

ukai and takeda take turns making sure he’s okay

they both want to check on him when it happens but someone has to watch the team

yachi did all of the research and probably knows the disorder better than shou

post-time skip now!!

sakusa is still wary of him when it happens bc- germs

but sakusa is pretty understanding and always checks up on him after

bokuto starts a cheer for him whenever he comes back to the court afterwards

atsumu buys him toothpaste

he didn’t mean it in a mean way, and shou knew it wasn’t meant to be mean

atsu just knows how bad your mouth can taste afterwards and how it actually breaks down the enamel which is harmful in the long run

kageyama!!

after the time skip, and the others aren’t there to do it, tobio stocks up their fridge with gatorade type drinks (which for some reason decreases his chance of vomiting?)

he always has advil/tylenol on hand bc vomiting can cause bad jaw pain

he knows shou gets emotional whenever he vomits so if it does happen, they just cuddle for the night

shouyou himself!!

bc shou has incredible stamina, he has kinda built up how long he can go without vomiting?

when he was in high school, he found that the beginning of the season was always worse (he would vomit more) than the end of the season bc of how often he trained

it made getting sick a lot worse for him

he knew lots about it bc his mom has it!!

he wasn’t diagnosed for the longest time, he just vomited lots

he started getting really frustrated until he got diagnosed with it

hes on meds for it! and he can take them dry! bc he has lots of practice unfortunately

some days will be worse than others

and if his team won the game, he gets really frustrated bc its so uncomfortable

it makes him more prone to vomiting when he cries too

the first time it happened on live television (first time as part of the MSBY) he was so embarassed

he played the rest of the game, and won!

but he hid in his room for a couple of days

eventually he takes it upon himself to teach more people about GERD in athletes!

just bc its rare for young people doesn’t mean its non-existent!

it can make it so much more difficult for athletes to train

and can increase the chances of the athlete quitting (esp for sports where you are constantly moving)

but he needs them to know its not impossible

kenma helps him get a sponsor with magazine to get his message across

the few teenagers that relate to his story look up to him bc maybe, just maybe, their dreams aren’t impossible

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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i really dont know where to put this so im putting it here.. i am a part of a system, or think? it was in early 2021 i started to talk to people, ive done all the research i could, i even identify as a system but something isn't right.. i haven't had access to the inner world since forever ago, ever since early 2022 (alot of traumatic things happened) all my co hosts have disappeared/gone dormant and im wondering if i really just imagined all of that in my head, it was such an integral thing in my life but now i feel like ive been faking it this entire time, the only other cohost i have is technically myself (its complicated) but still, am i imagining that too??? Im sorry if this is too venty, im just worried, very worried

Hi anon,

It's common at the onset of trauma for alters to go dormant. When this happens to a large portion of alters, this is known as a system collapse. Just because this happened doesn't mean you were "imagining" your systemhood. You are still a valid system. I find that it helps to remind myself that if you benefit from being a system, then you're likely a system.

Please remember that it's also common for systems to wonder if they're faking it, even if they get clinically diagnosed. That is the covert nature of the disorder. Faking is a conscious act. If for whatever reason it turns out that you're not a system, it doesn't necessarily mean you were faking either, it means you're just trying to figure out what's going on.

If anyone has any additional comments or suggestions, you're more than welcome to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help. Please let us know if y'all need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks

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maaaxx · 1 year

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first day back for my spring semester and heres a summary because i feel like it < 3

I was ten minutes late to my class. Luckily this professor is really wonderful and one of the best teacher/professor things ive ever met and was just like "oh *max* i'm so glad your here : )"

I sat down and my fucking backpack wouldn't work so i couldnt get my stuff out of it without being extremely loud

While Im in the process of banging my backpack on my desk tearing it at the seams etc my wonderful prof decided this would be the perfect time to ask me to introduce myself

My prof proceeds to tell us a story about how she or someone she worked with (i cant remember which one it was) had a client that got their dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

How does one get their dick stuck in a cieling fan? Idk. She didnt either

This class was like three hours long and so naturally I was half asleep the entire time

She decides to call on me while im half asleep

It scared the shit out of me

We took a break halfway through the class and i got hot chocolate and popcorn and it was really nice but im weird about eating/drinking in front of people so after i had to go back to class i was just clutching these two items awkwardly until we left.

At the end of the class we circled back to the 'what are you passionate about' question and this girl in my class goes on about how she was late diagnosed with autism and how she really wants to work on making those resources more available to afab people and how she wants to advocate for more research and better education on how different disorders effect men vs women and how to spot it in women because if you didnt know its a whole thing in the asd community about girls being severely underdiagnosed and its a really big problem and yeah the more you know

The entire time shes going on about this im like staring at her like 🙂. Like look here girly ME TOO I LIVED THIUS SHIT TOO

And so after class I found her and she asked for my phone number and everything and it was so wonderful and i think i made my first friends since physically being at college

I think I've mentioned this other dude on here before but pretty much this guy I met when I was like 8 or 9 and we were really good friends throughout elementary school but kind of grew apart in middle school and he went to an alternative school in highschool and hes always been so kind and i missed him a lot and here he goes to my school and so ive been reunited with him

Like I said this dude knew me since I was like 8 and it was always such a weird relationship because we knew eachother so well and he was the first person ive ever felt like wasnt constantly judging me and that i could just like relax around if that makes sense and i've always really cherished our friendship and im really happy im friends with him again

turns out hes fucking autistic too

within the last year ive found out that out of the four close friends ive had in my life three are austic

and the fourth is a girl diagnosed with bipolar/ocd/mdd/gad so you know how that goes.

So i thought thats funny

but i was talking to my friend and he accused me of having a fucking HICKEY

Like I said this dude knows me really well

he knows i have no bitches

like BRO

i have hives on my neck right now idk what theyre from im taking meds

Idk why i numbered this these numbers are for nothing but dramatic affect

He's queer in some way and he came out to me by asking me 'hey *max* when we were kids did you ever think i was gay 🤔

And i was like yeah *f* i did.

But then he was telling me about this blow job one of his boyfriends gave him one time and it was so weird because this was the same kid that i dated when i was like 10 and that used to spend the entire recess time telling me about rocks and fossils and that i used to play tag with and shit

I couldnt invision this man getting a blow job

F if you somehow found me on tumblr and your reading this like 'hey wait a minute' no your not. its a different person i swear its just a coincidence. < 3

#i used the cut because like blowjobs and hickeys and stuff #im still not completely up to date on tumblr etiquette and yeah #nothing THAT interesting happened today but i still just wanted to type it all out because tumblrs my diary #max thinks shes relevant

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tarobytez · 3 years

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disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant.

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist.

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is.

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”.

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me.

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.

Oh fucking boy.

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully.

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled.

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability.

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community.

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged.

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people.

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted.

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows.

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

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queersturbate · 2 years

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hiya i'd love to hear u talk more abt light's npd and mental issues bc u frame them in a rlly concise and informative way and i love reading them

hey!

i'm sorry it took a bit to respond to this you caught me having a bad mental health week and hating my npd specifically. But i think talking about it with a character i wholeheartedly adore would actually help. Also i love doing additional research on npd for Light because i read the articles and i just stare at it like looking into this weird cosmic mirror.

anyway, to get to the point. I've said what I think Light has and everything before, but i'll say it again: narcissistic personality disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, obsessive compulsive personality disorder (different from OCD, i have a post on it!), psychosis , and anxiety. I'm sure there's more that i would consider him having, like anti-social personality disorder which i dont have and have not done any research on so i cannot say if so, uh oh I know people also love Light being autistic alongside L. Honestly i really like that because it shows off different sides to autism, because you can be exactly like either and still be autistic.

but anyway, specifically with NPD, the general symptoms are a not caring about other's feelings/low to no empathy, sense of entitlement, not being able to take criticism at all, and wanting praise, recognition, and admiration at all times. Also with a majority of personality disorder, psychologists are not 100% how it's developed but most narcissists raise narcissists. My mother is a classic narcissist, and my dad hides his narcissistic traits better than her. However for Light, I don't think it was genetics but more-so environmental, but not to any fault of his parents.

Narcissists have a huge inflation of self worth, and coupled with a god complex, it can be overbearing. Light's "quick descent" into him being this all powerful god and him thinking he was CHOSEN for this job with the death note, him immediately going "im the only one that can do this" did not just come from no where when he picked up that notebook. L, the task force, near, etc never had that level of self importance and inflated view on themselves. Light had npd before he picked that notebook up. His disorder helped the curse of the notebook take hold much quicker and harder than everyone else, because Light was looking for a reason to be the person he thought he should be.

Also when I say "god complex", as opposed to what many people seem to believe it is not just believing you are god. or in tiktok users' cases, it does not mean you like to look at yourself in the mirror or you think you look good. A god complex is when you feel like you are owed something. The world, the universe, the people in your life, everything owes you something. you have an insatiable feeling of privilege. god complexes are an extenuation of narcissistic personality disorder. Also god complexes are not generally recognized as something to be diagnosed, lumping it in with narcissism. it's not recognized by the DSM it isnt a clinical term. An example of Light feeling this type of privilege is when he asks ryuk why he chose him. he was practically on his knees begging for Ryuk to say some grandiose thing about Light on why actual living God's chose him and only him for this 'job'

here for anyone still confused: A god complex is an unshakable belief characterized by consistently inflated feelings of personal ability, privilege, or infallibility. A person with a god complex may refuse to admit the possibility of their error or failure, even in the face of irrefutable evidence, intractable problems or difficult or impossible tasks. The person is also highly dogmatic in their views, meaning the person speaks of their personal opinions as though they were unquestionably correct. Someone with a god complex may exhibit no regard for the conventions and demands of society, and may request special consideration or privileges. (source: wikipedia because again, not a recognized, diagnosable disorder)

also my favorite thing to point out about npd is how behind all of this intense self importance and self righteousness and blahblahblah, is that it's all delusional, and im sure you know that. but listen, narcissists are delusional because we have this deep and vicious hatred of ourselves and are so so insecure that (im explaining this incredibly simply) just starts creating delusions of "no you're not, you are in a world full of idiots. you are better than them all. no one is better than you" blahblahblah (this is why i hate those tiktok videos where it's literally just "telling" the viewer this type of stuff and pass it off as confidence boosters or whatever like no girl knock it off) anyway, that why when anything in Light's plan goes wrong he has an utter meltdown, he cannot handle criticism and in this moment his only critique is himself since no one else knows about kira and if they do, they praise him and see him as a higher being.

alright! i've rambled enough! thank you for sending this ask! lmk if you want any more talk on the other disorders i listed. i only really just explained npd so sorry about thatsjdhdj

#death note #light yagami #light yagami headcanons #ask

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novatwoast67 · 2 years

Text

☆ About me ☆

(since my bio is getting long)

Hi! My name is Oliver :3

Age: 21

Gender: genderqueer trans masculine (+1 year on testosterone)

Pronouns: he/him, they/them, it/it's

Orientation: grey ace and grey rom but also pan

Nationality: Filipino-New Zealander living in Australia

I'm Autistic, got ADHD, anxiety, depression and C-PTSD

I'm also one of the main hosts of a DID system (professionally diagnosed as of 26th Feb 2024!!) but this is my blog specifically

I practice witchcraft and goetic demonolatry

I'm also a psychological and spiritual otherkin, my main kintypes being void and vampire

My other notable side blogs:

@novartwoast (my current art blog)

@mogaifriendly (my mogai support/positivity blog)

@soupforbats (my otherkin blog)

@soupforstars (the system's blog)

Tags list:

#important tag (for information posts)

#always reblogg (for support posts)

#signal boost (self explanatory)

(i also have tags for other peoples art, writing, cosplay etc. and tags for animals and trigger warnings/content warnings but theres a lot so i wont list em)

note i dont always have the energy to tag everything so if i dont tag something important that fits the bill for the tags above, its not because it isn't important/good enough! i just dont always have the energy to do so ;w; but if i dont forget, ill try and go back to the posts to add the tag later!

small disclaimer but i tend to hyperfixate on problematic media but i know how to not support people and content that have these issues, and i know how to seperate the art from the artist/the persona from the person etc.. ive just accepted at this point that nothing is pure and that I'll try to avoid the worst stuff ;w;

if youre unccomfortable with anything i seem interested in because of this, dont feel bad about unfollowing and/or blocking me! take care of yourself first and foremost, you deserve to feel comfortable in your own space.

(that being said please dont judge me poorly when you do so ;w; my anxiety over these things is incredibly debilitating and genuinely makes my mental health spiral- but im working on it)

Please Do Not Interact if you perpetrate, defend or support:

"M4P/NOM4P"s (p3dophilia)

z0ophilia

n4zis, x3nophobia, racism, white supremacy

t3rfs, t3hms*

1ncest

rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse

other forms of assault and abuse

animal abuse (this includes P3TA)

anti v4x

pro l1fe

homophobia, transphobia, queerphobia in general

cringe culture

DNI (unless you're ok with having a chill and healthy debate**)

exclusionists (this means aphobia, if youre against he/him lesbians and she/her gays, if you're against bi/pan lesbians and bi/pan gays and if youre against mogai/neopronouns/neogenders)

trumeds

anti-kin/anti-therian

ableist

against self dx'ing (of course please take care and be sure to heavily research depending on the diagnosis but otherwise I'll usually assume you have and/or won't really be bothered either way)

pro ship (im not an anti shipper cuz i find the debate pointless, but i trust anti shippers a little more than pro shippers)

singlets or systems that are really big into endo syscourse. Most of my other system members and I believe in "you do you, just try to be nice to people and please be respectful of traumagenic systems if you're endo". That's about it

*if youre a t3rf or a t3hm i AM willing to have a conversation about the unethical nature of trans exclusion, but (as stated below) i may not respond if you're rude or if im too tired

**if you're rude or I'm too tired don't expect me to respond

Also just an fyi I probably don't have everything on these lists so im sorry if i missed anything!

and if you catch me perpetrating anything on this list it's definitely an accident due to ignorance; I'm nowhere near perfect so please let me know if it seems like i messed up! I'll be sure to look into it when I can.

That's pretty much it! Sorry for the long pinned post but yeah, enjoy my blog i guess :'D

#about me #about me post

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blackpeachy · 3 years

Text

ATTENTION! PLEASE HELP RUSSIAN TRANS!MALE START HIS TRANSITION!!!

Attention!

We're asking everyone to read this post and help in any way you can! Please.

Hello everyone. I need you all to pay a little attention to the largest problem I ever had to face in my life. And I need your help to resolve it.

As many of you know, Russia is a very homophobic country. Literally silencing all and any attempts to bring solutions to the problems of all aspects of LGBT+ community.

My name is Nathan, Nate and im a trans!guy living in Russia. Through out all of my life i alsways knew i didnt belong in my own body, but i didnt find out what that was untill i was 11. Im 25 now and i need your help. Help getting the certificate to finally change all documents and start transitioning.Living in Russia ment misgendering and humiliation. Eternal brainwashing and moralizing about the fact that this is only a phase and everything will be okay, that I had problems with my head and it needed to be treated. This not only worsened my morale, but completely killed all the strength in me to continue living.This was the begining of a life long depression. Until sometime last month.

Having started some deep research on the topic of transition and gender reassignment in Russia( specifically in my city), my gilrfriends and I stumbled upon a clinic in Rostov(my city)called "Phoenix". We thought we struck a goldmine! A clinic that helps people and helps them find a way out. However, this was not the case, because starting to dig a little deeper, we saw people's feedback that 'Phoenix' only ridicules and humiliates people, rips money off them and prescribes "schizophrenia" for no good reason. Pay from 60 - 150k rubles just to be prescribed with schizophrenia and humiliated in the face of a huge council of 15 people ... It sounds disgusting, I know. Here’s an example of something another trans!person said after visiting Phoenix:

(its a lengthy review, of which i will post a screenshot, but there a summaryin English)

“The doctor showed disrespect to my choice and began to convince me that we are predators and should eat meat. It's like convincing the believer that there is no God. This is disrespect for a person on the part of a doctor. At the end of the inpatient treatment, the doctor obsessively asked me to write a review about him, naturally, a good one. I am a representative of the LGBT + community. And I'll tell you right away - this is not a place for people like us. Dyachenko convinced me of the wrongness of my identity. Anton Vasilyevich initially refused to address me in those pronouns that correspond to my identity, referring to the fact that he “has no legal right” to do this.

I was prescribed a huge number of drugs with side effects that worsened my quality of life and made my head cotton. Several months ago I canceled the medication myself, and over time my condition improved, and the side effects, which the doctor called new symptoms of the disease, disappeared.

If you are a gay or transgender person with a severe form of depression, which does not correspond to their ideas and stereotypes about LGBT people, then you will most likely be diagnosed with schizophrenia and will convince you that all this is either due to illness or because of that you have read false information on the internet.”

We immediately turned our backs on this clinic and resorted to looking for all-Russian and local groups and communities who provide help to trans!people in need. When I came across a couple of very interesting articles and reviews about the clinic in Samara called ‘Neurology’. (All people shouted to immediately throw out all thoughts about Phoenix, because the clinic is transphobic and does not help at all. We called Phoenix for a consultation there: We were almost cussed at by the sound of the tone they answered our questions.)

The group administrator himself contacted the clinic(in Samara) and now he does not regret it at all. After reading the articles and talking with local admins, we decided that if we had somewhere to turn to and get the desired result in short period of time, we need to pack up and go to Samara, because people will definitely not drag you to offices and consultations with a huge number of people ... Everything is strictly between the two doctors you talk to and yourself.

However, in order to get to Samara as soon as possible, I ask for your help! The entire procedure for obtaining a certificate of gender reassignment (form N 087 / y) will take from two to three days, depending on how quickly the doctors will come to a general agreement and issue a verdict. The cost of consultations is 20,900 rubles (284,95 dollars, with consulatations) according to data from October, when one of the subscribers of the trans!movement group visited the clinic. This is a very reasonable and good price to pay for changing your life and finally stop being locked in your own body and mind.

Here’s some convos we had with Russian trans community groups:

At the moment, we really need help with raising funds for the implementation of this procession:

The commission itself will cost 210$ (according to data from October),

Consultation with a Sexologist -40-45$ per meeting,

Consultation with a Psychiatrist - 48$ per meeting,

Hotel or motel to rent for the time to stay (taking into account if there is no way to find someone elses place to stay at) - ~ 140$, for at least three days.

Moving - by train, for two people, it turns out - 70$ per one person, in both directions. - 140$ (There are two of us going, me and my girlfriend for moral suport)

With such success, we are looking at the total amount of - 43k rubles or nearing 584-600$( plus some minor additions)

MY PAYPAL: https://www.paypal.me/commiewantssomemoney

We ask for help to raise funds for the trip, because it takes a long time to save up on our own. My family cannot help because of moral ethics, but they did not turn away from me,supporting me in every way they can mentally. We, of course, will contribute some of our own money to this cause, trying to save up working a minimum wage job.

I am asking you for help in taking this long-awaited step towards a better life. Reblog, donation, ANY help is very appreciated! Help a suffering trans!male in Russia to make his life less miserable.

#trans #lgbtq #lgbt #trans support #please consider donating #homophobic doctors make me sick to my stomach #really #ftm transgender #ftm help #signal boost #trans help #lgbtq help #ftm #trans in need of help #post boost #please help #donation post #trans pride #help

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dreamsclock · 3 years

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Hi! Ive been thinking abt a c!Dream fic I want to write, but Im a little hesitant? I cope with a highly stigmatized mental illness, and I see a lot of the same symptoms in c!Dream, so I want to write about it. But I know that writing antagonists with mental illness can be problematic so I’m a little uncertain

hey !!! ahhhh, i’m sorry, i’m not sure how much help i’ll be with this, but i can offer some advice, if not an answer - at the end of the day, it’s up to you whether you write it or not, but here’s some possible advice for you that i hope helps !! :]

writing antagonists with specified mental illness is, in my experience, always super risky because of the stigma surrounding the mental illness already, especially if the writer doesn’t do their research. it’s especially interesting for characters who do exhibit signs of some sort of mental illness/trauma or neurodivergency which (as is the norm) hasn’t been diagnosed in canon. it seems to be fine with protagonists: antagonists, however, are different matters, which i think is interesting in fiction, and is for a fair point - antagonists tend to be classed as ‘evil’ or ‘bad, and thus, the mental illness they’re diagnosed with ends up that way too. it’s definitely understandable why some people dislike antagonists being diagnosed with specific and stigmatised mental illness.

on the flip side, there’s the idea that every single character is human in some way, including antagonists. antagonists don’t suddenly become exempt from mental health issues, but a lot of times audiences choose to either a) completely infantilise said antagonist, if the mental illness can be infantilised in some way or b) vilify the antagonist and demonise the mental illness they have. but if you manage to find a middle ground, either through a lengthy author’s note or careful writing, between these two, i think you might be fine. not to mention, i think there’s a big difference between THEORISING and FIC WRITING: theorising diagnosis with mental illness isn’t always the best, especially with stigmatised mental illnesses, but fic writing is different i think?? as long as you do your research and make sure the portrayal isn’t harmful, then i personally see no harm in it.

of course, this is coming from one person !! it’s definitely a conversation to be had, for sure, but as one neurodivergent person (whose mental illnesses aren’t very stigmatised against [not more than neurodivergency in general, obviously]) i don’t speak for everyone - some people might not be happy with it, but i feel like that’s always a risk when it comes to fic writing. i think essentially it comes down to you as a person - do you want to write this? are you personally planning to demonise the mental illness/character, are you willing to do research, etc, etc.

this sounds so harsh oh my god i’m so sorry DSKFLKSD i’m just trying to be as hoenst as possible

but if i’ve said anything offensive or incorrect that is potentially misleading, pls let me know !! i don’t know much about the topic, and like i said, this is only one person’s opinion. i’m sorry i couldn’t give you too specific advice - but, as is the case when writing almost anything, do research + have fun, those are my only two solid pieces of advice when it comes to writing !!

#> my asks !!#-> my advice !!#tw mental illness #tw infantilization #tw stigma

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volvolts · 3 years

Text

trying again. im gonna talk about my ocs. its pretty long and kinda incoherent idk

first start with robin

idk how to make the picture smaller so im sorry

- her name is robin wright and she’s 17

BACKSTORY

- her mom is a cyberneticist and her dad is a neurosurgeon. they do research on cyborg’s disease and have a company that makes prosthetics. they’re really rich because if it

- robin also had a twin brother named ronan (she’s the younger twin btw). he died when they were 15 because he had a rare case of cyborg’s disease in the brain. his death was so traumatizing for her that she doesn’t remember the months surrounding his death. she doesn’t even remember the funeral

- after ronan’s death, robin’s parents put her into isolation for two years. they pulled her out of her classes and activities and she barely got human interactions during this time

- eventually she had enough and begged to be allowed out which they do--as long as she has a bodyguard with her at all times. the problem? robin had a hard time getting along with most of them. in fact, ryuji is kind of a last resort. if she doesn’t get on well with him, she’ll most likely be isolated until further notice

random facts

- she’s really smart, a natural genius you could say. she was on her third year in college before she was pulled from it (she’s studying to be a neurosurgeon like her father). she’s one of those organized highlighter/color coded note takers too

- robin is a very compassionate person and is compelled to help others as much as she can.

- stubborn and determined, she’ll pursue nearly everything and won’t back down until she has answers. sometimes she doesn’t know when to stop and accidentally oversteps her boundaries. it’s not because she’s needlessly nosy but because she wants to know the whole story before she can help them

- she has a overactive imagination and would end up thinking up outlandish ideas to fill in the blanks of things she doesn’t know

- robin is one of those people who’s polite and reserved if she doesn’t know you but will talk your ear off when she’s comfortable with you

- she closer with her father, which is why she’s studying the same subject that he works in

- both of her parents are incredibly successful and she’s expected to do something similar so she has a lot on her shoulders

- she hasn’t worked a day in her life but she has unusually strong endurance and stamina

- she has a dog! he’s a golden retriever and his name is beck. he’s an old dog and she loves him very much

next is ryuji

- his name is ryuji lor and he’s 22

- he also goes by “ryder” (technically he’s supposed to go by that throughout most of my half-baked story because he never told anyone is real name but that’s beside the point)

- he’s a quarter japanese and three quarters se asian (not really sure what kind yet but im thinking somewhere within the vietnam/laos area)

BACKSTORY

- a bit of TW: FAMILY ABUSE in this passage so skip if it bothers you: his mom got pregnant with him while she was in college and because her boyfriend bailed on her and stress of the pregnancy and burnout she dropped out and went back to her family. she was seen as “the good one” of the family and was expected to get a good job to get her family out of poverty however when she came back they were incredibly bitter that she “failed” and would verbally and emotionally put her down. They also blamed ryuji because if he wasn’t born then she wouldn’t have dropped out and he was often ostracized because of it.

- fortunately he and his mom left when he turned 5. they lived in a small apartment and had to get lots of help from neighbors and friends to make ends meet (mostly to babysit ryuji while his mom worked). ryuji vowed to get smart and get a good job to give his mother the life she deserves (and partly because he feels a part of her really does hate him and he wants to make it up to her somehow because if he doesn’t, was he just a parasite like what his aunts and uncles said?)

- when he turned 10, his mom got married and how he has two moms. they’re hard on him but it’s from a place of love so he tries his best to be a good son by studying and staying out of trouble

- at 17, ryuji has a bit of hope ahead of him. he has a part time job, good grades, and maybe a scholarship if he could qualify. suddenly he’s diagnosed with cyborg’s disease in his eyes and arm. they can’t afford either of his surgeries, let alone one. and that’s not going into the prosthetics and rehab afterwards. at night when they think he’s asleep, ryuji hears his moms arguing about how they’ll be able to afford any of it and what they’ll have to do to pay for it.

- he can’t take it anymore. he runs away

- he ends up in a city he doesn’t recognize and is just allowing himself to die but he gets saved by irving, a back alley repair doctor. he gets prosthetics thanks to her but is now in a massive debt so he works as her assistant and also finds other jobs on the side to repay it

- his backstory is getting really long so things happen in ryuji’s attempt to make money and he ends up also working with ace, who leads an organized crime group, as a handler whose job is to fight/intimidate/kill whoever.

- a sudden coincidence also ends up working as robin’s bodyguard which starts everything. honestly he’s didn’t want to do this job at first but robin’s parents are willing to pay a good amount of money and it allows him to have time away from his jobs with ace

random facts

- he’s left hand but learned to be ambidextrous, however he’ll usually default to his left hand

- he wore glasses when he was younger (near sighted; it was super bad but he didn’t like it)

- he’s afraid of dogs. it’s not a full on phobia but they make him uneasy because of a childhood thing. (he’s more of a cat person and maybe pets a few stray cats that come across his house every once in a while)

- he doesn’t like people staring at him. he feels self-conscious because of the scar on his face and the shadowed bags under his eyes and people staring at him don’t help

- ryuji is really good with prosthetics repair and can go into in-depth discussions about the mechanics of it all; he actually really enjoys working on it and actually helped design his own arm

- he’s really smart but he had to work really hard to get there and because he never finished his education, he doesn’t really think he is either

- ryuji tries to give off a “i don’t care about anyone” bravado to try and distance himself from everything. but he really cares. like a lot. the few people he has in his life right now, he’s ride or die for them

- ryuji works himself to death to ignore his problems. he’s afraid if he stops moving, he’ll buckle under the pressure and stop forever

- he has a knife hidden in his prosthetic forearm which he will use if he feels threatened. (it’s probably a stiletto knife or something idk yet)

- ryuji is an early riser; waking up at 9 am feels like sleeping in to him. he’s not even that much of a morning person, its mostly out of habit

then there’s castor

- his name is castor oda and he’s 24

- he’s japanese

BACKSTORY

- he lived in a really strict and controlling family who owned a business where he had his entire life planned out for him up to who he was going to marry. he’s always been angry about it because he has older siblings who will take over the company and it’s clear that more of a control and image thing than anything else

- when he went to college, it was his first time actually be away from his family and became friends with a guy named ben.

- ben helped castor when his family kicked him out at 19 and gave him a place to stay until he could get back on his feet

- castor loved ben like a brother and is forever grateful for him

- ben mysteriously disappeared when they were 21 and everyone is pretty sure he’s dead but no one knows why

- castor wants to find closure on what happened because he’s definitely sure there’s something shady going on and he’s going to find out what.

- he’s an information broker, occasionally crossing paths with ace to relay and gather info but for the most part, castor has been working alone

- when he’s not doing that though, he works as a barista at a coffee shop

random facts

- he has cyborg’s disease in his right arm and when he lived with his family, he was deeply self-conscious about it

- he hasn’t spoken to his parents since they kicked him out but he still talks to his siblings sometimes; he’s the youngest child with two older sisters

- he always had an inkling that ben had romantic feelings for him, which was unrequited, and castor always felt a little guilty that he never reciprocated or that they never got to talk about it

- castor always wears his red scarf no matter the occasion or weather; he has more scarves but he just likes the red one the best

- people think he’s like calm and collected but in reality he’s an impulsive, emotional driven idiot just like the rest of us

- however he is the master of the polite business smile because of his strict upbringing

- he’s a rather disorganized person

next is irving

- her name is ellie irving and she’s 35

- she’s half black, half white

BACKSTORY

- i don’t have that much solidified for her backstory yet so it might change fyi

- irving had been doing cybernetic research back in college but someone plagiarized her work and submitted their paper before she came forward

- because the paper was published before she published hers, SHE was initially hit with backlash of plagiarism

- eventually they try to sort it out but in the end, while she proved she didn’t plagiarize the other, she couldn’t prove that she came up with the research first and they just terminated the both her and the plagiarist

- she was barred from going into higher cybernetics research and honestly she’s still a bit bitter about it

- she went into prosthetics repair instead but still struggled to find work because of her alleged reputation, which many still believed she stole another’s work

- eventually she manages to open up a shop that specializes in prosthetic repairs and replacements

random facts

- she’s really harsh and aloof, however she cares in her own way

- honestly irving doesn’t believe herself to be a good person due to how she feels she let herself to bitterly sulk in her anger for so long

- she smokes a bit but she’s trying to cut back lately

- irving won’t pry if you come to her with a broken arm and you need help; she’ll fix you up and leave it at that and allow you to come to her yourself

- she’s incredibly observant and can tell if your lying with just a glance

- she doesn’t know that ryuji works for ace; she’s concerned when he seems more tired than usual but she doesn’t know how to pry

last one cuz im tired

his name is ace (i don’t have a last name for him) and he’s 32

- he owns an organized crime ring; im thinking he’s connected to something bigger and possibly something with the black market

- not much is known about him but he’s a charismatic man and has the intimidation factor

- he flips his demeanor a lot. one minute he’s jovial and kind then the next he’ll give you thinly veil threats. he mostly does it to keep people on their toes so it’s a power thing

- begrudgingly he’s the closest thing to a father figure ryuji is gonna get

- also the jacket ryuji always wears? it’s a gift from ace

and that’s all i got so far! i have a lot more ocs but i don’t have have a lot of backstory for them yet. let me know what you think of these guys and feel free to ask questions!

#talkin #my ocs #my art #robin wright #ryuji lor #castor oda #ellie irving #ace

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spirit-shroud · 3 years

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what are some roles that have been largely changed for cityrune? since you said queen was an influencer now :]

hi ty for asking me im vibrating. havent gotten to talk about this au now for three years and now that chapter 2 is like real and this time i can like........draw occasionally and i have more understanding of nuance...... [grips table] [screams]

this isnt quite what you asked but heres what's everyone from chapter 1 has been Up To with a little bit of context (and under a read more bc it got LENGTHY):

kris - professional stay at home teen (they live w/ asgore n help run the flower shop sometimes. this decision was entirely bc i dont like toriel). was wrongly diagnosed w Sudden Soul Rejection when they were incredibly young and given an experimental transplanted soul as a replacement. it works for them fine, give or take having to see gaster once a month for checkups. but sometimes the soul makes them skittish n decides they're going to sit in front of the pc and play 30 consecutive hours of a certain simulation game and not even let them drown people in the pool. if it were entirely up to them, they'd be like. passing out on the sofa to documentaries about bigfoot. or practicing cool knife tricks to impress their friends at their next tabletop meetup

- EDITED IN: the soul is kind of their friend. they are wearing a hypothetical get along shirt. most of the time, they agree on actions and things to do. tends to refer to themself + their soul as we/us which originally was just something they did in their head but they kept slipping in speech/text n just became a Thing of how they talk. switches to 'I/Me' whenever smth is wrong.

- also edited in: they believe the soul they have is their original soul bc nobody has told them otherwise. whenever theyre like 'oh yeah we think about our soul n view it as a separate entity to us like. all the time. it likes to hurt if we make too many choices it doesn't seem to like and kind of forces us to be a toned down version of what we want to be but thats just how souls are haha' and everyone is like.... 'Hey Kris That's Really Not How It Is.' theyre like. 'huh. gonna ignore that for now' - this was going to be a plot point

toriel - head of H0MEWOR1D (H01)'s department of education; kind of lost her roots as a simple math teacher as she was pushed into a lot of power she didn't even really seek out. divorced asgore over some miscommunications in their relationship; also loosely as a result of grief from asriel's death

asgore - the same. runs a lil flower/gift shop. people come in more to talk with him than to buy flowers most of the time, though

asriel Flowey - he's back in flower form, thanks to the government an accident. causes a lot of technology glitches wherever he goes, and wants revenge. isn't sure how to go about it. asriel "died" around 8 years before the story takes place and kris still misses him and refuses to even THINK about even the IDEA of calling someone their sibling after what happened, just in case it somehow happens a second time

susie - more of the same really. she spends most of her time either at grillby's (she's sort of become his assistant n helps with opening/closing. it just happened) or getting into low-stakes trouble w/ kris

noelle - she's in the city's equivalent of college and shes so tired. shes So Abysmally Tired n got kinda pushed 2 follow in her mom's footsteps. she's rarely around anymore except through text or on monsters & mages (dnd) night. (however.........she will come back w/ a long break n hang out w everyone again)

berdly - tbh i didnt even consider berdly when i made the au initially. idk what he's doing. probably in a similar situation to noelle??? canonically got kicked out of the M&M group due to clashes w/ other players but lurks in their group chat to posts memes sometimes

didnt rly think of any other of kris' classmates (+ their families) after ch1 and probably will continue to not, until chs 3-5 come out and i gotta whip up roles and histories for like. a lotta guys all of a sudden. i also forgot about noelle's parents

sans - runs a convenience store that everyone kind of thinks is a front, but also it has really cheap snacks and the local teens make a point of stopping there after school. so essentially, more of the same papyrus - similar to ut. is a very polite and sweet boy but you'll know when he's coming

grillby - he's back. he runs a bar like back in ut but the cozy vibes and weird-for-a-bar hours keep attracting kids who need parents, so half of his menu is comprised of overly sweet mocktails. usually only frequented by monsters

QC - same as usual. has a "rivalry" with grillbz but, theyre besties and have a book club

mettaton - he's real and he's back. he's similar to how he is back in ut w/ his EX body. likes to hang out at grillby's and talk to unsuspecting fans. has a show for everything

napstablook - similar to how they are in ut. helps mtt with making music sometimes. doesn't leave the house too often, but spends a lot of time posting on undernet

undyne - unfortunately. more of the same. she is a cop in the monster district. i am also upset by this but couldn't think of anything better for her

alphys - a doctor studying under dr. gaster in the hopes she'll one day take over his research. she spends most of her time as a nurse with a bigger title, though, and blocks out the weirdness of her job with anime.

gaster - weird guy. H01's top soul researcher and resident House wannabe. trying to manufacture the ultimate soul that can be controlled with simple internal switches, but so far he's only had 1 (very limited) success with a certain human. monsters just melt, and darkners just sorta......get weird... he's onto Something, though.

ralsei - lonely boy with some very strange hobbies. popular on UnderNet for poetry, baking videos, and general cryptid vibe. is the DM for the monsters & mages group (also seems to think everything is actually very fine in H01 when it is very much not)

lancer - about the same. professional Round Boy. lives w/ rouxls full time. follows susie around like a lost puppy and calls himself her "underling."

rouxls - runs a hotel/casino kind of deal where the objective Bad Guys hang out, and usually ends up doing any of the spade king's paperwork.

spade king - mafia godfather. kind of a dick. don't play cards with him

seam - works with the spade king as his right hand cat more or less because they have for a lot of years and are in that 'sunk cost fallacy' zone. thinks of retiring to a quiet life in the monster section of town like, daily

jevil - used to work with the spade king, but got imprisoned for Crimes. got weird after The Accident (separate from asriel's accident)

temmies (all) - dont really get mentioned except offhandedly but they run the monster space station. so far, are the only monsters who have ever been to space.

as far as chapter 2 goes:

yeah i dont have much so far for characters. in the original version of the au i accidentally made darkners as a whole just kinda..... not great? like all sorts of weird organized crime ties n sort of going out of their way to be A Problem to the city (not even in like. a revolution way. in a working against them but with the same goals kinda way). with the whole context it worked At The Time, bc i just had the spade king to look to as a villain, and also in this au the darkners are just trying to survive a world that ultimately was not built for them (that humans think they own, and monsters sort of... seeing this and wondering what it'll mean for them whichever one wins), but w/ new info abt how the dark world works n more guys to work with i want to kind of. edit the vibe a bit. like yea darkners will ultimately do whatever it takes to take over H01, but maybe in a better way than like. idk. all this. it doesnt have to be peaceful or anything it just has to be more adaptable as we meet more kinds of darkners

however yeah i thought up 'queen as some sort of childless mommy blogger/influencer' and that completely revived all memory i had of this au. she should be on mtt's talkshow. also she sells collectible wine glasses w/ her likeness

spamton is another one of gaster's failed soul experiments, but he hasn't melted yet, and seems............fine? sort of. so he hasn't gotten decommissioned yet. he does want to give you malware tho. hot monster singles in your area n all that

im blanking on the rest of the guys but i hope any of this was comprehensible

#kc takes questions #cityrune au #idk if tumblr still autotags things but if it does i am SORRY

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