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#hub lives au
Note
Hehehe it's just fun to image people and fictional characters post wisdom teeth removed😂 too bad the netnavis would never be in that situation, cause that would be hilarious🤣
In an AU where Hub lived and he got his wisdom teeth out, he would be that person who starts crying for really silly things
“Hub why are you crying?”
“I’m just so sad!”
“Why??”
“BECAUSE WE HAVE A DOGHOUSE BUT NO DOG! I WANT TO PET A DOG SO BAD!”
(Lan is recording the entire time)
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musicalchaos07 · 8 months
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Adding henderhop into the wedding AU because 1. They're so fucking cute. 2. I'm a big fan of post-grad they get together and this fic is post-grad so. 3. I love the idea of them being together and Will just not noticing with everything else that's happening
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navybrat817 · 10 months
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Where We Left Off
Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: You're in love with your best friend who is determined to make the most of your vacation together. Word Count: Over 1.2k Warnings: Light angst, friends reconnecting, unrequited feelings (or so you think), slight feels (it's me), future fun, Bucky Barnes (yep, he's a warning) A/N: New AU called Reconnect because why not? Meet Dreamboat and Butterfly. For @the-slumberparty 's June's Monthly Challenge : Bikini and Beach, and Smut Hub Summer Camp Bingo @sagechanoafterdark: Choose Your Vibes: Summer. Thank you @flordeamatista for the inspiration and pre-reading! ❤️ Any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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It was a couple of summers ago when you realized you were in love with Bucky Barnes. When you looked back on your friendship, you wondered how it took you so long to realize it. Like how his smile made your heart race whenever he looked your way. Or how you found a solid ground and safe space together, each of you able to confide in the other.
He made you feel safe.
"You're my best friend."
Nothing more.
You stared out the living room window with a sigh, the beach house blanketed by the heavy sound of rain. While it had been bright and sunny just minutes ago, the sky was now dark and misty. You shivered as you wrapped your towel tighter around your wet body, enchanted by the summer storm instead of going to your room to change. It figured you'd buy a new swimsuit for the trip and only get to wear it outside for a minute.
"So much for lounging on the beach."
You smiled softly as you glanced at Bucky beside you, who ran a hand through his long, soaked hair. He hadn't bothered to keep his towel after the two of you rushed back inside, clad in just his blue trunks that matched the shade of his eyes. You scolded yourself for letting your gaze roam along his sun kissed, muscular body.
You didn't have the right to look at him that way.
"Yeah. So much for that," you said, the towel doing little to keep you warm as the air conditioner kicked on. "Maybe our punishment for getting started without everyone?"
Steve, another one of Bucky's best friends, put together a weeklong trip for the gang. So far, you and Bucky were the only two at the beach house. Everyone else wasn't going to be there until the evening. That was why you went for an immediate swim once you picked your room. The storm would likely put the group behind even more and now you were stuck inside with Bucky.
Why had you agreed to show up early?
Why did you have to be alone with him?
Why do I have to love him?
"Maybe," he said with a stretch, drawing attention to his wide chest. "Since it doesn't look like it's slowing down at all, why don't we cuddle on the couch? Catch up a bit?"
"Cuddle?" you scoffed, the sound more bitter than you intended as you turned to face him. "Why would we do that?"
A flicker of hurt passed over his eyes before he blinked it away. "Well, for one, you're cold. I can practically hear your teeth chattering," he replied. He wasn't a fan of being cold either, but he always ran warm. "And two, cuddling never bothered you before."
Your stomach flip-flopped. Bucky was right. He was the only male friend you ever snuggled with. Whenever you had a bad day, he didn't hesitate to throw a heavy arm around you and pull you against his chest. On good days, he found an excuse to keep you plastered by his side. He used to do it so often that most people assumed you were dating.
Wishful thinking.
"I'm sorry," you said, giving him the nicest smile you could manage even though it hurt to do so. "Been awhile since it was just the two of us and even longer than that since we cuddled."
The day it clicked that you saw Bucky as more than a friend was the day he introduced you to Dolores. Everyone called her Dot. The beautiful redhead looked good on his arm and you wondered why it wasn't you in her place. But you put on a brave face and smiled, even as your heart shattered. Because Bucky's happiness meant more than your feelings.
It didn't stop you from crying alone in the darkness where no one else could see.
"That's my fault," he whispered, sliding his fingers into his hair again and tugging harshly on the strands. You noticed he did that when he was upset. "And I'm sorry."
"Friendship goes both ways," you pointed out.
"You never faded out of my life when you dated anyone."
They weren't you, Bucky.
"I guess she was different," you smiled sadly.
The two of you still hung out and messaged each other while he dated Dot, but it was always as a group and the daily messages dwindled to chats here and there. You had the feeling that Dot didn't like you very much. In a way, you didn't fault her for that. Maybe she saw through you and knew you wanted Bucky.
Yet he was the one who broke up with her.
"You're allowed to be mad at me," he said as he took your hand and crossed the room to the couch. "I'd be mad at me."
"Right now, I'm just cold," you said, not wanting to dwell on the past. What good would it do?
He nodded slowly, almost like he was disappointed in your response. "Okay."
You shrieked when he pulled the towel away. It wasn't like he hadn't seen you minutes before in your bikini and you swore his gaze lingered on you long enough to consider it staring, but what was he doing? "What the hell?" you asked, but made no move to cover yourself.
Maybe I want him to see that I'm desirable.
Bucky let out a breath as he looked at you, your shivering having nothing to do with the cold. "You said you were cold, so let me warm you up," he urged, grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch before he took a seat. "Please?"
Silence fell over you as you sat down beside him. He wasted no time putting the blanket over you and wrapping his arms around your shaking frame. You breathed in his familiar scent and found yourself fighting off tears, a bittersweet swirl of longing and comfort settling in your chest.
Because he embraced you as if you meant something to him.
"I missed you," he whispered, running a hand along your back.
Your heart clenched, focusing on the rain falling outside in a melancholy rhythm. "I missed you, too."
"But we have each other again."
"I wish that were true," you whispered.
Why did I say that?
His hand stilled, but you were too afraid to look at him. "What do you mean?" he asked.
Panic bubbled in your chest. You couldn't just blurt out your feelings like this. "I just mean you went from a constant to a fleeting moment in my life," you said, which was the truth. "I don't want things to fizzle after we leave."
Bucky used to be the brightest star in your sky. Then he became the shooting star you missed making a wish upon. But you would forever watch the sky if only to get a glimpse of his bright light.
"I'll make it up to you. I have this whole week to start," he promised, rubbing his chin along the top of your head. "I don't care what Steve has planned. I'm all yours."
You squeezed your eyes shut because you knew you'd cry if you didn't. He wasn't yours. Not really.
"I'm yours, too, Bucky."
I always will be.
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Surely Bucky will sweep us off our feet, right? Love and thanks! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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sl-vega · 1 month
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.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ-MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU
Pairing: [BASSIST!] Scaramouche x [GUITARIST!] Reader
Genre: rivals/enemies to lovers, rivals to friends to lovers, fluff, crack (?), comedy, angst (?), slowburn, high school au, band au, modern au, social media au, smau
Synopsis: You're the lead guitarist for your band, C✧LESTIA and Scaramouche is the bassist of 5WIRL. The two of your bands have a friendly rivalry, but you and Scaramouche don't. On top of being academic rivals, you and him have never been on good terms. Always one-upping each other in grades and in music. Even your bandmates have grown tired of your constant bickering with each other. But when your usual practice hub gets flooded, you and the rest of C✧LESTIA are forced to find a new place to rehearse. So when 5WIRL offers to share their studio with you who are you to refuse? Of course, this forces you to spend time with your sworn rival whether you like it or not. But maybe the two of you can overcome your differences and actually be friends?
Or maybe even more?
CW: swearing, profanities/innuendoes, bad music puns, ooc (?)
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⋆🎶₊˚ෆ STARRING
C✧LESTIA ll 5WIRL ll THE FANS
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PLAYING TRACK...
PROLOGUE-tear drops on my guitar
ALBUM 01-go fuck yourself! /affectionate
01-we're in treble
02-diss track
03-fret not
04-i'm not that desperate
05-starting on a sour note
06-practicing but we're already perfect
07-shits and gigs
08-obsessed much?
(MORE TBA)
ALBUM 02-pov: falling in love with your rival
(TBA)
ALBUM 03-giving up my dream so you can live out your's
(TBA)
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additional notes:
-my bandori phase caused me to make this
-this one will probably start soon because i need a break from writing sticking to the script
-bare with me and my bad music humour
-working on profiles as we speak
-i'm gonna tag my other scara smau taglist cuz smth tells me y'all would be into this: @ladyninggs, @featuredtofu, @levianamor, @veekoko, @glxssmemories, @foomeowmeow117, @scarasbaby , @d-d3arest , @heavenforyyou , @seternic , @danfelions , @jf-117, @kukikoooo , @uuyuomi, @rozariwho , @freyao7 , @lapinaenmicoche , @thatoneswordgirl
-no pressure to read tho :3
-this taglist is open and the smau will start soon
-decided to give myself more freedom, this smau isn't planned out as much as my others
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(OPEN) TAGLIST: @featuredtofu, @levianamor, @danfelions, @thatoneswordgirl, @lolmeowing, @bananasquash, @xiaosantenna, @glxssmemories, @kaitfae, @mujiwuji, @zestyseggsydaddy69, @peaceindreams, @freyao7, @rinquin, @justpeachyteastea, @cocomi, @b2ne, @skyoverkill1, @scaradooche, @morallyrainyday, @adres-tia, @justadvena6, @agaygothicmushroom, @huanator, @seaofdata, @kyon-cherri, @aether-darling, @ukinya, @sketcheeee, @ibawa, @shutingstar, @eutopiastar, @kunimix, @wonderful-worlds, @ectomotive, @yourfavoritefreakyhan
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eoieopda · 2 months
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FORCE QUIT // EPISODE III: SPIDER
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somebody has to make sure you make it through the firefight alive.
pairing: lee minho x reader | series masterlist (3/4) | prev. episode series summary: it's 2077, and life's a fucking nightmare. corporate titans ate the state and shat it back out, leaving citizens of the new republic to fall in line, or fall to their knees. a reckoning is coming — where will you fall? au: series — dystopian, cyberpunk; episode — mutually-pining fuck buddies. ➢insp. by: cyberpunk 2077 + the true lives of the fabulous killjoys genre: smut + angst word count: 23.5k rating: 18+ — minors do not have my consent to interact. series warnings: violence (hand-to-hand, firearms, explosives), depictions of injuries (blood/bruising/burns), some characters have cybernetic modifications, class conflict + poverty, surprise - corporations are bad!, unethical medical/tech experimentation, self-indulgent references to non-skz idols, reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns. episode: above + combat leader!minho, disabled!hacker!reader, pov switches, time skips, reader has a prosthetic/cybernetic leg, loss of limb due to injury (not depicted, minimally described), ref. to hospitalization + recovery, sunshine/storm cloud dynamic, minho is kind of a dick, depictions of combat violence, minor character death(s), unprotected p in v penetration. a/n 1: this part required a lot more external resources than anything else i’ve written, so i’ve kind of… footnoted? what i used. see the note at the end of the fic for the list! a/n 2: each episode features a different member x reader pairing, but the plot is linear, so you'd need to read them (in order) to get the full picture! you can sign up for the taglist to be notified of the next uploads. thank you to my beloved @sailoryooons for beta'ing this and @jihopesjoint for being my emotional support internet wife even though she doesn't stan skz. ily both endlessly!
Yours is the Black Screen’s worst kept secret.
The irony of that isn’t lost on you. Professionally, your most marketable skill is your ability to lower others’ defenses; to build and break walls as needed to take what you want for keeps. With finesse few can imitate, you vault over boundaries. Unfortunately for you, you don’t personally have any of those.
You’ve always been this way — no poker face, no affinity for bluffing, no discernible self-preservation instinct — and just the same, you’ve always wished you weren’t.
Time and again, your cards are on the table the second they’re dealt. If that alone wasn’t shitty gameplay, you and that relentless optimism of yours raise the stakes, double down. There’s no hesitating before you go all in; and there’s no surprise when you lose it all, either. Nothing you’ve ever felt has shocked anyone because they saw it coming in the previous turn.
Like Seungmin, for example, who won’t stop rolling his eyes at you from the other side of the room.
“If I took a shot every time you looked up at the door…” He sighs, gesturing from your corner of the Hub to its entrance, “I’d have died of alcohol poisoning six times over by now.”
The grimace you don’t want to concede can’t be hidden, so you rein your gaze in and direct it back at the screen in front of you. You don’t absorb any of the information flickering in front of you, however, because Seungmin has a point. Any second you haven’t spent staring wistfully out of the room is wasted on glancing at the clock. 
It’s close to nine o’clock now, which means your not-so-secret distraction is due any minute.
That reminds me…
You check again, wondering how many minutes have passed since you last looked, only to learn that it’s been less than one. That’s when the reflex takes over. Without your permission, your eyes wander from the glowing, green digits on the wall to the door — just in case.
No dice.
Damn it.
In a feeble attempt to cover your chronic — terminal — hopefulness, you try to refocus on your work. All it takes is a few seconds of staring before your eyes glaze over again. That disinterest isn’t reflected in your rigid posture, though. Your brain may be a flat tire, but your body is a bow drawn back, ready to fire.
Anticipation is a hell of a drug, isn’t it?
Seungmin crosses his arms. From the corner of your eye, you can see the knowing look he shoots you. He may not speak his favorite words, but that doesn’t mean you can’t hear them, loud and clear.
Told you so.
“It’s kind of funny, actually,” he says instead. 
You know better than to be thrown off by his trademark, flat affect. This is the most amused you’ve seen the weaponsmith in weeks. The corner of his mouth even twitches slightly; it might be the closest he’s ever been to smiling. “He only steps foot in here when you do.”
With all the heat you can muster, you aim to warn him — to puff out your chest a little, just this once — but it just sounds like a whine. “Seungmin…”
As if on cue, light footsteps sound off from down the hallway, shifting closer with every muffled step and cutting your would-be bickering off in the process.
Even with Seungmin’s judgment focused elsewhere, you continue to pretend that the glaring, blue light in front of your face has garnered any amount of your attention. It doesn’t. It hasn’t and won’t, so long as you can feel the seconds tick by in your chest.
He snorts. “Like clockwork.”
Damn it.
For being as light on his feet as he is, Minho tends to drag them more, the longer the day lasts. You never point that out to him; he doesn’t need to know that you’ve noticed. That fact sits among the million others you try to keep to yourself, just like your ability to identify him by gait alone.
Besides, you think, he’d never listen if you begged him to slow down, even if it’s just for a night. Rest doesn’t feature on the short list of things Minho wants from you. Come to think of it, neither does advice or concern for his well-being.
“Well, well, well. Look who it is,” Seungmin sings out when the shuffling stops short. “You lost, hyung?”
The way your head snaps up has nothing to do with Seungmin’s mocking tone and everything to do with the flutter in your chest. You’d attempt to keep that a secret, too, but then Minho walks in, and it’s game set. 
He’s fatal with his tattered, grey t-shirt half-tucked into ripped, black denim; and you have to clench your jaw to keep it from dropping. Before your dry throat can choke you, you clear it, swallowing down the thought that Minho and his jagged edges are the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen.
It gets easier to get a fucking grip on yourself when Seungmin starts needling again: “No, seriously, are you lost? What are you doing here?”
Dark, cat eyes flick to you, then back to their target. Deadly, you think, just like the rest of him.
“Wishing you weren’t,” Minho responds without missing a beat. 
As usual, his tone is carefully balanced between bored and annoyed. You suspect that’s purposeful. A tactic. It leaves listeners in the dark about his feelings, so they have to guess whether or not they should run.
Nine times out of ten, they guess wrong.
This time, Minho deigns to give a hint. It’s quick enough that you would’ve missed it if you hadn’t been staring. Thankfully, his target sees the microscopic flex of his eyebrow, too. 
All that bark leaves Seungmin in a hurry, no bite to follow. With his tail between his legs and his palms raised in defeat, he skirts around Minho before slipping wordlessly out the door. 
You frown slightly as you watch him flee, although you sure as shit won’t mind his absence.
“Seungmin’s harmless,” you remind Minho quietly, although you don’t know why you bother. He’s never felt threatened in his life, as far as you can tell. You don’t necessarily hate it when he flexes that fact in front of you, but that doesn’t mean he should. “You don’t need to scare him off.”
Minho crosses his arms and tilts his head in a way that makes you only the slightest bit insane. “I’m not scary,” he rebuts matter-of-factly, as if that’ll make it true.
You make the mistake of looking him in the eye then. Like it always does in moments like this, heat immediately rushes to your face like a backdraft.
Like he always does, Minho senses the spike in temperature. To crank it higher, he meanders his way across the room to you, eyes glittering impishly all the while. Your heart thuds harder with each footfall. Stupidly, you wonder if he can sense that, too.
“In fact, I’m offended,” he corrects you as he closes in.
His palms press down against the opposite side of your desk once he reaches it. This close, you can read the mischief scribbled all over his face, which only serves to tear you in two — equal parts fucked up by his assertiveness and the rare playfulness that only comes in flashes, only with you.
Minho looms over you now, his hardened stare softening just slightly. Whispering through what almost looks like a pout, he adds, “And you’re mean.”
For a second, you think that the hand inching its way across the tabletop is seeking yours. Anticipation makes your fingers twitch. Try as you might, you can’t think of a single fucking thing you want more than to slip them between his. 
Proving once again that you’ll never read him right, Minho’s hand darts out to your side instead. You watch in slow-motion as he snags the bag of honey twists from its resting spot near your left forearm, which is nowhere near fast enough to catch him before he pulls away. Useless, your empty hand drops back onto your desk. 
You stare longingly at the stolen packet, so dejected that you really could cry, and mumble, “It took so much effort to get those.”
“It shouldn’t have,” Minho counters with a shrug.
He isn’t wrong, and you hate that.
The Black Screen’s demolition expert, Lee Jihoon, is as hard to crack as the shit he blows to pieces. His footlocker full of snacks — a rarity, given the whole everything going on in the world — is even more impenetrable. Charming your way through his stony exterior had been your only option to gain access. It took months, as well as unrelenting friendliness administered in small, persistent doses.
Just like —
Minho wouldn’t have wasted his time with flattery or nuance. He never needs to open his mouth to get what he’s after because his presence — from his stance to his intense, vaguely violent gaze — does all the talking for him. All he would’ve needed to do is blink in Jihoon’s direction, then he would’ve walked out of there with the older man’s treasure trove and the jacket off his back.
Having just been robbed blind yourself, you keep your mouth shut about that.
Shrugging once again, Minho throws down the gauntlet: “Finish your shit quickly, and I might decide to share them with you.”
How thoughtful.
If he’s expecting a verbal response, he won’t get one, you decide. The most you give is a disgruntled sigh. Dying star that you are, you collapse in on yourself, sinking deeper into your chair until you wind up as a half-crumpled heap on the desk below your monitors. It’s a perfect picture of abject failure, making this the only thing you’ve gotten right all day.
You don’t expect Minho to ask after your current state, so you’re not disappointed when he doesn’t. Or, at least, you will yourself not to be. In reality, your bated breath is held for a second or two before you remember who you’re dealing with. 
He does speak, though, which surprises you. Your first guess would’ve been that he’d give a hard pass on your dramatics and wander back out the door while your face was buried in your arms.
“Spider,” he sighs, and his tone is so gentle that it shocks the hell out of you. Intimate, almost, even if it is just a caricature. “Call it a night.”
More curious than cautious, you lift your head enough to blink up at him. Between his eyebrows, there’s a small crease that you don’t see often enough to competently translate. You stare at the tension there for a beat longer than you mean to before your gaze drifts downward to meet his.
See? Beautiful.
The second Minho sees your eyebrows raise slightly in question, a switch flips. He shuts the light off, irons out his expression. Whatever softness you found there is gone as quickly as it came.
He clears his throat, then huffs, “Come on.”
You frown and gesture to the screen ahead, pointing out the program you’ve spent all goddamn day working on to no avail. The silent protest doesn’t work on Minho. His stare only becomes more expectant the longer he levels it at you.
“Seriously. Fuck it.”
Having chosen the hill you plan to die on, you envision roots tying your unmoving body to the floor beneath you. Your frown deepens. No, you think emphatically, as if making your internal monologue shout will make him listen.
Minho tries again. “It’ll be here to ruin your day tomorrow.”
You don’t budge, and it pulls an exasperated noise out of him. Curling his right hand into a loose fist, he taps the knuckle of his index finger lightly against your elbow, like the contact will force your mental task list to shut down. 
“I’m bored.”
You know exactly what that means.
“Come up to the roof with me.”
Strike that.
“The roof?” You peep, hardened expression smashed to bits before you can blink.
Minho looks a little too pleased by your sudden concession. He even makes one of his own, chuckling slightly before he rolls his eyes and elaborates, “It’s nice out.”
It’s nice out, so you want to fuck me… on the roof?
The hand at your elbow pulls away and re-routes towards the back pocket of his jeans. When it returns to the space between you, there’s a dented, silver flask glinting in his grip. He shakes it, arches one eyebrow, and tops it all off with a wolfish grin that makes your stomach flip. 
“Stolen whisky tastes best in restricted areas, I hear.”
He nods his head towards the door, beckoning you to give in, and you’re on your feet without needing the invitation to be repeated. 
The sudden movement after sitting for so long means that your body isn’t as enthusiastic as your brain. A sharp pinch pulls a slight gasp out of you. That’s the extent of your own reaction, but Minho isn’t used to this the way you are. Alert eyes flick down to where your residual limb slots into your manufactured one, then back up to search your face. 
Once again, he asks without saying a word. You answer with a wave of your hand, “All good.”
Minho’s concern doesn’t immediately dissipate. To prove that you meant what you said, you snatch the packet of honey twists out of his unsuspecting hand and circle around the desk until you’re face to face. 
“If I’m on my ass for too long, my leg forgets how to leg,” you explain, grinning more out of triumph than reassurance. Then, you dangle your reclaimed prize from your fingertips because you are nothing if not a little shit. “I’m not a doctor, but I think science says that food helps.”
“Science says?” Minho snorts. 
You nod authoritatively, then you turn to the spare folding chair near your work station. Your jacket waits for you there, carefully folded on the cracked, plastic-coated cushion. Shrugging it on, you shove the honey twists in your right pocket and tease, “Sure does.”
The corner of his mouth tugs slightly upwards, and you swear there’s an affectionate smile threatening to break loose.
It doesn’t.
Instead, after pushing off his palms, Minho stands fully upright, nods his head towards the door a second time, and starts making his way towards it. You follow because you always do, biting back your lips to keep your giddiness to yourself.
As the pair of you exit and head down the hallway in comfortable quiet, you note his proximity to you. It’s always the same; he’s always close by but never near enough to touch. The edge of his shirt sleeve brushes against your arm, although his skin never does. 
You stopped wondering about that a long time ago, unwilling to figure out if this is a tactic, too.
Halfway to the nearest stairwell, Jeongin appears in a doorway. The room he emerges from used to be an office for the human resources department, back when the factory was operational — back when employers bothered with pretending to give a shit. 
Now, the room’s function lands somewhere between a bar and a bedroom. The latter only comes into play when the former makes staggering upstairs to the residential area too much of a hassle. From what you can see over the younger man’s shoulder, that’ll likely be the case tonight.
Jeongin gives you a cursory smile before directing his full attention to the man keeping cursory distance at your side.
None of it makes sense to you, all this effort spent to hide intentions. Maybe, you think, that’s why you’re so fucking terrible at it.
“Hey, hyung!” Jeongin chirps as the pair of you approach. He lifts his hand to wave, but it just looks like he’s shaking the deck of cards in his hand at Minho. “Do you want to —”
Without slowing down, Minho cuts him off mid-ask and at the knees. “No.”
And then his finger slips into the belt loop of your jeans, tugging you along beside him as he keeps up the pace. You’re gone before you can see Jeongin’s face fall, but you’re sure it does. 
Yours would.
When you reach the stairs, Minho matches your careful pace, albeit much less awkwardly. For as life-saving as the chunk of metal and carbon fiber on your right side has been, there’s at least one problem it hasn’t solved: going up steps is a bitch. 
To compensate for your less dynamic knee, your left leg takes stairs two at a time so you can simply step straight up with your right. And even though you’re a bit out of breath from the extra effort, you open your mouth to comment on what you just witnessed.
Minho stops you before you can start. Shooting you a look you know far too well, he sighs, “Don’t.”
You’re as good a faker as you are a listener.
“He’s just trying to —”
He releases his grip on your belt loop. It’s the only reason you realize he’d still been holding on. Stopping at the landing, Minho turns to look back at you. “Can’t think of anything I want to do less than sit next to someone and have to hear about their fucking day.”
Eyebrows raised, you stare up at him. This time, you don’t say a word, letting your expression speak for you.
“With the ever-present risk that I’ll be murdered by the state tomorrow, forgive me if I’m not wasting today by listening to shit I don’t care about.”
There it is, you think.
The combat leader’s insistence that his life will only end one way: too soon and bloody.
That unexploded ordnance drops heavy between you. You step over it, joining him on the landing, and you don’t look back. Just at Minho, who watches you carefully for a reaction; whose tension leaves his muscles when the slight, upward curve of your mouth says, I understand.
Together, you climb the remaining flight until you reach the thick, steel door leading out to the roof. It’s barely functional, like the vast majority of the factory, and can’t shut all the way. With more force than is even remotely necessary, he kicks it fully open. The thick, rubber tread of his boot thuds against the metal. It’s quickly drowned out by the strangled squeak of its hinges.
You’re at least slightly thankful that those hinges don’t explode into a cloud of rust.
On his way to the ledge, Minho grabs two empty buckets from the pile of discarded odds-and-ends near the doorway. The rest of the pile — mainly two-by-four planks too busted to rehab and similarly spent range targets — threatens to collapse without its foundation, but neither of you stops to fix it. He leads, and you follow, ultimately coming to a stop near the ledge.
“So?” 
His insufficient question is underscored by the two buckets landing mouth-down on the concrete with twin thunks.
You’re still blinking through your confusion when he unceremoniously drops himself on the furthest bucket and when he stretches out his leg to tap the remaining one with the side of his boot. Coincidentally, you’re still waiting for the rest of his inquiry when you sit — much more gently — next to him. This time, it’s you who moves, nudging your chrome knee against his flesh-and-bone.
Minho finally takes the hint and continues, pulling out his flask as he does. “How was your day?”
The whiplash makes your neck ache.
Remind me again about the last thing you said to me.
After taking a swig without incident, he passes the flask to you. You take your sip — small, cautious — and immediately let out some clownish, choking noise when the strong notes of wooden barrel hit your taste buds.
“Oh, that’s —” You cough, nose scrunching. Whisky-laced breath slips out of your teeth in the form of a hiss. “Absolutely wretched, I fear.”
For the first time all night, Minho’s mask cracks, and a full-fledged laugh tumbles out of his mouth, high and clear as it cuts through the otherwise dead air.
“It’s not,” he counters. Without taking his eyes off your pout, he lifts a hand to catch the flask that you toss at him. “You’re just childish.”
In recompense, you swat his arm. 
He lets you.
“Shut up.” Your distinctly childish comeback is breathy because, like always, your laughter isn’t something you can successfully hide. “Am not.”
Another swig, no further incidents.
“Think you need to be demoted. Maybe I should start calling you baby instead of Spider.”
The violent flutter in your chest doesn’t seem to care that what it heard isn’t at all what he meant. For now, you let it happen. You focus instead on his creased eyes and barely-crooked smile; drink them in as quickly as you can, knowing that your window is closing.
As rare as it is, levity looks perfect on him.
While your laughter ebbs, the wind kicks up slightly, bringing a chill with it. You pull your jacket tighter around you as you watch browned leaves spin in pirouettes near your feet. Their presence here is surprising, given how devastating the War was to the ecosystem, but it’s welcomed. It’s a reminder sorely needed: nothing’s ever truly fucked beyond repair.
Minho pipes up suddenly, “You never answered me, you know.” And even though his voice is low, it startles you.
He’s too busy fiddling with the cap of his flask to see it when you turn your head to look quizzically at him. He probably missed the way you jolted just then, too, which is fine by you. Your goldfish brain is still trying to recall what he asked that went without a reply.
When you remain quiet, he supplies, “Your day.” 
As it turns out, you’re just as stunned by his question the second time he poses it. Part of you wants to remind him that he could be murdered by the state tomorrow, just in case he wants to reclaim his wasted time. The rest watches as his absentminded fidgeting stops, and his head lifts to look at you — not impatiently, not sardonically, but with the tiniest bit of insecurity scribbled into his slightly furrowed brow.
Oh.
Now, you’re frozen into silence for an entirely different, entirely devastating reason: he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t genuinely want to know.
A self-effacing laugh serves as a smokescreen for how fucking flustered that realization makes you. 
“Well, I had plans to go phishing, but they fell through.”
“Beach advisory?” He feigns a frown, making your lips curve upwards at the corners. “Those hypocrites at Thanotech really need to stop dumping their shit into the reservoir.”
At this, you laugh outright. 
This is the Minho that no one but you could pick out of a lineup: the one that will take a bit and run with it, who lets his guard down and catches you off yours. This one may not be yours — you know he isn’t, not really — but at times like this, when it’s just the two of you alone, it feels like he is.
“I’ll make sure to tell them you said so.” You pat his thigh, which tenses slightly in the second your palm rests on it. Redirecting your thoughts from where they’re headed, you pull your hand back and tuck it into your jacket pocket. “I really think they’ll listen if they know Lee Minho’s the one asking.”
His eyes roll in response, but the amused smirk he wears doesn’t dissipate. It’s still there when he slowly leans closer, making your breath hitch. His hand shifts closer, too, and your pulse hammers harder with every millimeter that’s cast aside.
There’s an old saying about where the shame should fall when a person gets fooled twice. You practically feel it collide with your thick skull when, for the second time, Minho turns the tables. He nearly turns your pocket inside out in the process, hand snatching the yet-untouched packet of honey crisps before you even know what’s happening.
Just like last time, you put up no fight when he settles back into his own makeshift chair with a smug glint in his eyes. A forlorn sigh is covered by the racket of plastic ripping, followed soon after by a faint crunch.
“Speaking of bait,” he snickers once he’s swallowed. “What are you dangling?”
You really want to hate him for that segue, along with all the rest of his committed atrocities, but you can’t. So, you offer up the only thing you still have: 
Technobabble.
“The plan is to sneak in a program to mine data. So long as nobody interrupts me —” You pause to shoot him a pointed look. “— I’ll finish coding it tomorrow and fire it off at some grunt in Ulsan’s fiscal department using a cloned, corporate email account.”
“You think they’ll fall for it?” Minho asks, curiosity piqued.
You flash a grin. “I know they will. Nothing spooks a low-level employee quite like an overdue, mandatory, cybersecurity compliance attestation.”
If you didn’t know better, you’d swear he looks almost proud when he hears about the form of your Trojan horse. It’s certainly what you feel blooming in your chest, especially when you pluck the crisp from between his unsuspecting fingers and pop it into your own mouth.
“Once the program installs, it’ll start reaping what they have access to,” you explain. “I’m sure it’ll be limited at the start, quarterly budget reports and such.” 
You shrug dismissively, then look down at your hands. There’s no way this is interesting to someone that isn’t you, but he asked, and you’re answering, and you can’t seem to stop talking. 
“But those point me in the direction of invoices and their line items, which gets me to payment accounts, recipients, and other shit they don’t want me to know. It’s a paper trail leading to a paper trail, honestly, but it’s —”
“— how you weave a web.”
It stops your brain in its tracks, leaves your would-be sentence to peter out. You can’t remember the last time anyone followed where your explanations led, let alone saw the importance of all the tiny, tedious steps you take. All the intricacies of your carefully plotted architecture.
With you stalled out, Minho finishes that thought where he left off. “Strand by strand.”
“Yeah,” you exhale, warmth creeping from your chest to your cheeks. “Strand by strand.”
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You sit on that bucket on the roof for however long it takes for your ass to go numb, and then you sit some more. Hours, maybe a day or two — irrelevant, as far as you’re concerned. You have Minho next to you and a burgeoning sunrise ahead; and you’ll bask in the glow you’ve found there for as much time as you can.
Minho, it seems, has other plans.
He sighs and flattens his palms against his knees before standing, causing the bucket he’d been occupying to scrape against the concrete. The noise is what gets your attention, not the movement. You turn to look up at him. Your disappointment is more than likely broadcasted all over your face.
“Stay with me,” you whine before you can stop yourself.
Needy isn’t normally a word you’d use to describe yourself; you’re far from it. Now, though… In this moment, it might be written in blaring red letters on your forehead, judging by the extremely brief flash of surprise you see in front of you. It’s gone as quickly as it came. The twinge of embarrassment you feel sticks around to keep you warm.
Minho is quiet for a beat, like he’s got something to consider. Whatever he decides on, it makes his head tilt to the side. A devilish look takes over his features, washing from his narrowed eyes to his tilted lips. All mischief, he counters, “Fuck me.”
Why do those things have to be mutually exclusive?
You don’t voice your question out loud, even though you kind of want to scream it, because he holds his hand out to help you up, and instant gratification together feels so much better than waiting through a delay alone. So, you take his hand, just like he knew you would, and you follow. 
Back to the door, back down to the second level of the factory, back to your room in an otherwise unoccupied wing, until the door is shut softly behind you.
Every single one of your rendezvous has been different from the last. The time, location, everything varies, not unlike the version of himself that Minho lets you see. Even though the steps change completely from tryst to tryst, they still feel like they’ve been choreographed and rehearsed ahead of time.
For example, he’s never caged you against a wall and pinned your wrists one-handed above your head before, but your body reacts as if this is the sole position it was made to occupy in life.
His teeth nip at the side of your neck, and your head falls back instinctively. You don’t give a shit about the muted thump of your skull against the brick, but Minho seems to. 
“Watch yourself,” he murmurs, lips fluttering against your throat. Despite the muted volume, his tone carries an authority to it that makes even your chrome knee weak. “If you wind up with a concussion, I’m not explaining it to Doc.”
You gasp when his tongue flicks out to soothe the sting his teeth leave behind. Beyond desperate, you push up on your toes to bring yourself closer to his mouth. It’s further out of reach than you remember — it shouldn’t be. Barely a week has gone by since he last had you like this. 
Embarrassingly breathless already, you ask, “Have you gotten taller? What have they been feeding you?”
His knee comes forward slowly to nudge yours apart. You make room, letting his thigh press into the gap created. If his left hand wasn’t keeping you stretched up to your full height, you’d be riding that thigh by now.
“You know what I eat.”
Your eyes roll back. You’re not sure if that’s a reaction to his line or the way he clenches his thigh, shifting it further into the space between your spread legs. Either way, that taut muscle is only millimeters away from your cunt now; the low hum that rumbles from his chest says that he can feel the heat rolling off you in waves.
You want so badly to be able to touch him, cling to him, scratch your nails across his scalp and pull him in by his hair. You want him to touch you — really touch you — not just to tease you the way he is, threatening to mark you up with his mouth without following through. 
If you try to tug your arms down, will he let you?
Part of you hopes that he doesn’t. 
At least, not without consequences.
Minho can tell how fucking restless you are. You’re not surprised; you vibrate with want at a frequency he’s always been attuned to. Speaking any of it out loud would be redundant, so you save your breath. His fans warmth over the shell of your ear, pulling the hammer back: “What’s the matter, Spider? You don’t like being the one in the trap?”
You can’t help but tremble at that.
“Fine,” he tuts, finger on the trigger.
Your eyes widen in anticipation when his hand drops its hold on your wrists; and your arms fold slowly back down when he retracts. There’s a muted ache in your muscles from the strain they’d been put under. You can’t say that you mind.
His hands move next to his belt buckle, deft fingers making quick work of the metal before the two pieces dangle on either side of his zipper. That’s the image burned into your brain when he leans in close enough to kiss you. He doesn’t kiss you — he never does — but he finally fires at point blank range:
“Turn around.”
Bang!
It’s so unexpected that you don’t register it as real at first. Neither does Minho, whose demanding gaze stays glued to you. The noise comes again, louder than the first, and you hear the cry that comes with it through the door.
“Spider, are you there?”
Hyunjin.
It’s his voice, you know, but it doesn’t sound right at all. The air of self-assuredness he usually carries is long gone. Whatever’s replaced it sounds completely unlike him in a way that makes your stomach turn.
Minho puts distance between your bodies in the time it takes Hyunjin to push open the door. You notice that he forgot to address his belt buckle, but you suppose it doesn’t matter. The youngest among you is too visibly shaken to see it as he stumbles inside with red-rimmed eyes.
Oh, fuck.
Panicked, you shoot a quick glance at Minho, hoping he’ll see your alarm and know what to do with it. His eyes are locked onto Hyunjin, who comes to a stop in front of you; Minho’s expression is the definition of illegible.
Your hand lifts instinctively to Hyunjin’s shoulder. Apparently, that reassuring touch is all it takes to break the dam; to break him down into sobs.
“Hey!” You gasp, knitting your arms around his frame and hauling him towards you. His face slots into the space where your neck meets your shoulder, allowing his hyperventilated breaths to hit your skin directly. “Hey, it’s —”
You know better than to lie and say it’s okay. 
Minho may be fearless, but it’s Hyunjin that’s the least flappable in the entire group by a long shot. If you were to search back through the last decade, you wouldn’t be able to find a single moment where he seemed annoyed or anxious, let alone fucking devastated to the degree he currently is.
This is the farthest from okay things could possibly be.
You can’t tell if it’s heartbreak, nausea, or both that swells when you fill your fists with the back of his jacket and hold on tight.
From his spot two meters away, Minho cuts to the chase. “What happened to you?”
Hyunjin can’t answer, not at first. 
Maybe, you think, saying whatever it is out loud will confirm the reality of the situation. You don’t push him. Instead, you stop holding him long enough to pull him over to the far corner of your makeshift bedroom, where he drops down to sit on the mattress held off the floor by two wooden pallets. Despite his wiry frame, the force of his collapse makes the wood clatter against the concrete floor below.
When you take a spot beside him, it’s much less quickly, no more graceful. Hyunjin doesn’t mind the hand you place on his shoulder to keep yourself steady. If he hears the click at your manufactured joint over the sound of his own barely-regulated breathing, he doesn’t say so.
Still standing where he was left — where he left you, more like — Minho’s narrowed eyes hone in again on Hyunjin. The expression on his face is just as unreadable as before, and he still won’t look at you.
As much as that bothers you, your own feelings are never your first priority. You turn your head to look from Minho to Hyunjin, whose hands grip the black denim of his jeans like a lifeline. When the latter finally does speak, the explanation hemorrhages out of him, spilling and flooding until there isn’t much air left in the room to breathe.
Three things in particular hit you like a train:
The Bliss Beta is infinitely more insidious than you could’ve imagined — even for Ulsan — and its mass rollout is closer than you ever would’ve guessed.
You now have the data you need to find the servers running the Beta, which means there’s a chance that the way things currently are is the worst they’ll get.
There’s a guillotine blade looming over the Professor’s neck, and it’s your hand on the rope, obligated to let go. It’s your scale that’s tasked with weighing lives.
Nausea, you realize, almost too late.
You grab hold of the wastebasket near the foot of your mattress and squeeze your eyes shut while your honey twists leave you in a hurry.
He loves her.
He loves her, he loves her, he loves her, and there are fifty-one-million faceless reasons why he can’t have her. You feel the weighted stares of every single one of them on you when he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, silver datashard. It’s thin, flat with sharp edges, but it’s a bullet if you’ve ever seen one.
When Hyunjin places it in your hand, your fingers don’t close around it. You can’t even look at it without feeling faint; your body won’t accept the weight of it in your palm. You avert your eyes, praying that your object permanence disappears along with it. 
And then that reflex kicks in again, craving some semblance of safety.
Minho is already watching you intently when you turn your head his way. The relief you feel is immediate, and you don’t have the energy left to pretend that’s not the case.
You love him.
You love him, you love him, you love him, and this goddamn horror show you’re living through feels survivable while he’s around, even if it isn’t. 
Maybe, you think, if you live to see the end, his presence will help you hate yourself less for the things you’re about to do to get there. That’s been the case so far, anyway. You’ve got a decade’s worth of scorched bridges behind you, and the ash on your face has never made him see you any differently.
Hyunjin clears his throat, dragging you back into the moment you don’t want to be a part of. 
“She said there’s multi-level encryption on this thing,” he mumbles, voice weak. His hand envelops yours and gently folds your fingers over your palm, as if he knows damn well you won’t do it yourself. “I don’t have to tell you this, but be careful, Spider. One move too many, and we’re all dead.”
You freeze; he stands, wiping invisible dirt from the front of his jeans. Nothing he attempts will make him feel clean, you know, but you don’t fault him for trying.
Before he can take a single step back towards your door, you reach out and grab his hand, preventing him from leaving.
“Keys,” you croak.
His eyebrows knit together.
“Cryptographic keys — characters. Numbers, usually.” You shake your head to realign your thoughts. It doesn’t do much; your explanation still comes out sputtering. “Each encryption is going to have a different algorithm altering its data, and it’ll be faster if I don’t have to write a separate program to try and find the strings I need.”
Judging by his face, the explanation makes sense, but he still looks as if he has no fucking idea what the answers might be.
For the first time in nearly an hour, Minho speaks. The suddenness of his participation makes both you and Hyunjin flinch.
“Dates,” he offers gruffly. “Ones that are significant to the two of you, maybe.”
The suggestion cracks against your skull like a baseball bat. 
Of all the things you could’ve expected him to say in the presence of someone other than you, something sentimental didn’t even come close to making the list. Hyunjin, it seems, is just as startled by this — by the appearance of your invisible friend, who’s spent ten years refusing to let this side of him be seen.
You make a note to ask Minho where this idea came from. If there are any dates he holds onto, with no one the wiser.
Hyunjin’s brow furrows for a moment while he thinks. Then, the light bulb behind his eyes flashes.
Eureka.
Dashing now towards the door, he calls out to you over his shoulder. “I’ll make you a list,” he promises breathlessly before he disappears altogether.
Without Hyunjin’s voice to fill it, the silence of your room roars in your ears. You need to shrug it off you, physically; move around so that you stop feeling like you’re being hydraulically pressed. 
In a wordless request for help, you hold your hand out to Minho. The jury’s still out as to what you want when he takes it: to drag him down to you, to be hauled to your feet, or to simply have it held. 
For the first time — possibly ever — he doesn’t take it.
Well-practiced hands drop to his belt buckle instead of reaching out to you. He re-fastens it quickly, and over the clink of metal, he grunts, “Stop looking at me like that.”
You blink rapidly when that sucker-punch statement hits you. “Looking at you like what, Minho?” You ask gently, as if your excess will make up for his lack.
“Like I’m your future.”
And just like that, he’s gone without another word or a backwards glance.
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Eleven days crawl by without you seeing or hearing from Minho. You struggle to keep count as they pass. You’re so preoccupied that there’s no real difference between them, leaving them all to bleed together. It doesn’t help that all ten nights so far have been more or less sleepless.
While you’d love to say that all your time awake has been productive, you’d be lying. Sure, you spend the vast majority of it with the bright light of your monitors boring into your retinas, but that doesn’t mean you’re actively engaging with the shit displayed there. Between your program and your spent brain, it’s your neural pathways that are most in need of re-writing.
“Goddammit,” you hiss when a shock jolts through your upper right thigh for the umpteenth time today alone. 
Halfway crazy from frustration, you glare down at your quad and see the remaining muscles there twitching violently. And even though it’s been over a year, your brain is still surprised to find that the source of your pain doesn’t exist at all.
That outburst from you certainly isn’t the first, yet it’s the one that catches Chan’s attention. Like you, he’s spent an unhealthy amount of his time in the Hub over the past week and a half, pouring over who knows what. It’s safe to assume that’s how he’d describe your work, too.
“Been especially bad lately, hasn’t it?” He asks, head popping up from behind a stack of files.
He probably doesn’t expect you to squeak out a laugh at the sight of him, but you can’t help yourself. 
“You look like a meerkat when you do that.” The frown you get in response only makes you giggle more, despite yourself. “Like an overworked, overtired, under-caffeinated meerkat.”
Chan works overtime to control his expression, steel himself. It doesn’t work. It never does, no matter how obnoxious you and your comrades are around him because at the end of the day, all he ever is, is fond.
He sighs as he sits up fully in his chair. “Spider.”
It’s funny, you think. He sounds just like your father when he takes that tone with you, although the name he uses is nowhere near the same.
“Talk to Doc.” Realizing he sounded more stern than he meant to, Chan’s mouth softens from a thin, straight line to a slight smile. He adds, “Please.”
And because you’re the best behaved of all his pseudo-children, you don’t put up a fight. You don’t roll your eyes the way Seungmin does, or do the exact opposite of what you’ve been told, like —
Don’t go there.
You just get up, ignoring the strong urge you feel to buckle at the knees and hit the floor, and push your chair back with the underside of your thighs. Chan sees the pained look on your face immediately and moves to stand up and help you. You wave him off.
“All good,” you lie through gritted teeth, bearing weight on your palm as you maneuver your way around your desk. 
Chan may not believe you, but he listens, nonetheless. While you guide yourself from your workstation on the far side of the room towards the door, you try very hard to ignore the thought that keeps ricocheting around your skull like a bullet, shredding whatever grey matter gets in its way.
There’s one person that line wouldn’t have worked on. 
It takes a considerable amount of time to hobble to Doc’s clinic, which is clear on the other side of the compound, but you eventually make it there without breaking too much of a sweat.
In a past life, the space was an employee locker room that featured shower stalls and toilets on one side, and numerous lockers and benches on the other. Jeongin tried his best, but the plumbing was fucked beyond repair; all the utilities were scrapped. Whatever useful parts remained were repurposed elsewhere, while the broken bits wound up in that pile of assorted garbage on the roof.
Don’t.
Due to the size of the space, there’d been a multi-day debate on what to use it for. In the end, the decision was made to give it new life as a makeshift field hospital because Minho was right. The tile and drainage system is ideal for —
Stop it.
When you push through the swinging, double doors and stagger inside, you learn that you’re not today’s only patient. On one of the cots up ahead, Doc’s nimble fingers work to stitch Scraps’ left eyebrow back together, while Felix paces in the background with his hands in his hair.
“I’m so —”
“Felix!” 
Scraps slaps her hands down onto her thigh. The sound echoes off the tile walls like a thunderclap, but she doesn’t flinch at the contact. Doc does, however. She freezes solid, needle-holder in hand.
If Doc is frustrated, she doesn’t show it. That bedside manner of hers is unparalleled. Her gentle voice sounds suspiciously like Chan’s when she pleads, “No violence until I’m done holding a needle near your eye.”
Scraps nods in acknowledgment, which only contributes to the panicked look on Doc’s face. You bite your lips to hold your laughter in as you amble closer and dump yourself onto a nearby cot.
“Seriously — stop apologizing,” Scraps calls over her shoulder. 
If it wasn’t for Doc’s gentle hold on her chin, you suspect that she’d turn her head to look at Felix outright. 
“I told you to raise the stakes, and you did. So, I owe you a gold star for being a good listener, I guess.”
The way he looks at her when she can’t even see him kind of makes you want to sob. That ache only grows when he puts his hands on either side of her head, leans down, and plants a kiss on her hair.
Meanwhile, Doc is muttering, “Please stop moving, please stop moving, please stop moving,” like those are the only words she knows. You feel as guilty as you do grateful; her distress is a sufficient distraction from your own.
“Done!” She chirps moments later. Relief washes over her in a heartbeat, releasing tension from every single muscle cell she has — like she’s successfully disarmed a bomb, rather than sutured a minor injury.
And even though she’s too polite to say it, you swear you can hear her thinking it:
Please leave now.
And they do. They fall into lockstep, with Scraps tucked under Felix’s arm and hers wrapped around his waist.
And you’re still staring at the door once it swings shut again, so lost in all your conflicting thoughts that Doc has to call your name twice to get your attention.
“You’re not due back in for another month or so.” She frowns. “What’s on your mind?”
As usual, you don’t know where to start. You don’t know how to turn the faucet on without overflowing the bathtub, either, so you just let it all pour out.
“Everything was fine — perfect, probably. Or the closest it’s going to get, I guess. Then — I don’t even know what happened, but he won’t fucking look at me now. Won’t talk to me, walks out of a room when I walk in, like he can’t even stand to ignore me in my presence.”
You suck in a breath through your teeth to make up for all the ones you skipped out on while you rambled on. 
Of course, that doesn’t mean you stop rambling.
“And I think it might be breaking my heart. I don’t know. I don’t — I don’t know what to do now. It’s very distracting,” you mutter, frowning. 
A laugh slips out to signal how uncomfortable you are with the sudden intentional vulnerability. It sounds more like the sort of hiccup that precedes a sob. 
“Stupid thing to fixate on when the world’s on fire, isn’t it?”
To say that Doc is taken aback would be an understatement. Her eyes go wide; her lips purse. She pauses for a moment before she ultimately whispers, “I meant your leg.”
You’d go dig your own grave out back if you could walk that far.
“Oh.”
Doc does you the favor of averting her eyes. She focuses instead on her lap, eyes widening without blinking, as if she’ll be able to see her way out of the conversation more easily that way.
Self-conscious now to the point of nausea, you play with the frayed edge of denim that lays over the end of your residual limb. You can’t help but wonder how many right-side pant legs you’ve chopped off over the last twelve months, and what those bits of fabric ended up being used for.
Maybe they’re in that pile on the roof.
“Is mirror therapy helping at all?”
You glance up at Doc. “Not as much as it used to,” you sigh. “I think my brain figured out I was trying to bamboozle it and threw another wall up. Those are all it has at this point — walls and holes.”
It’s quiet for a few moments. Now, you wonder if you’ve taken Doc out of her depth. You were her first — and thankfully remain her only — amputation. If anyone’s gonna stump her, it’s you.
You snicker at your own unspoken joke.
Get it?
“How much do you remember?” She asks, catching you off-guard. It was the fact that she asked you anything that surprised you, not the question itself, but she assumes she’s offended you. Quickly, she apologizes. “I’m sorry. You don’t need to talk about it.”
The truth is, the before and during are both incredibly vague. You know that you went with a small group to Ilsan, planning to fuck up one of WraithCo.’s supply lines, and that their ghouls caught wind of your plans. 
Beyond that, it’s anyone’s guess. The audio underscoring this montage in your mind is warped to all hell; the faces and voices are blurry, as if they’ve since been censored. Deleted, just like the lower two-thirds of your leg.
As for the after… All that comes to mind is pain, in one form or another.
Fighting off an infection, which left your waking hours in some fever-filled daze that only stopped when the various meds worked their magic and knocked you back unconscious.
Being bed-ridden for an eternity after that fever broke and the infection cleared, too exhausted and depressed to keep your eyes open. 
Aching all over as you forced your body to remember how to walk, too obsessed with your newfound crumb of independence to let anyone see you stumble.
Self-imposed isolation to hide the toll it’d all taken on you, and the frustration that came with knowing what you were doing but being unable to stop yourself.
“Nothing I wouldn’t mind forgetting” you finally say.
Doc hums thoughtfully but offers nothing beyond a tiny frown. The part of you that wants to know why she’s asking is overrun by the part of you that fears what she’ll tell you; clearly, she’s similarly torn.
Add this to the list of things you’ll have to learn to live without.
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Time continues to both slip and crawl by. Days are gone before you can blink; nights encase you in cement, trap you in place. You know it’s not a coincidence. You’re only alone after dark.
Still, it’s not all bad. You’ve certainly been more productive lately, whether or not you truly want to be. That’s not a coincidence, either. You’re capable of accomplishing quite a bit when the only person you truly want to talk to has no interest in listening.
If he did want to listen, you might tell Minho that he was right about the keys to the encryption being linked to dates. You could thank him, if he’d hear you out. Maybe you’d finally summon up the courage to ask where the idea came from.
What if…?
These little hypotheticals of yours only get more painful, the longer you steep in them, and you’re no good at reining your mind in when it starts wandering. It runs off in the same direction every time it goes — back to the night you finished peeling back all the layers.
You know there’s no point in imagining the ways Minho would’ve distracted you then because he didn’t. He was nowhere to be found; and you cried alone in your room, overwhelmed by both the relief of having answers and the all-consuming guilt of knowing what — and who — it cost to get them.
A familiar, prickling feeling at the corners of your eyes pulls you back to the present. You tilt your head back and blink rapidly to keep the dam from breaking. Part of you is proud. This might be the first time you’ve ever managed to keep your feelings to yourself.
“My halmoni always said that holding back your sneezes like that takes a year off your life.”
With a jolt, you snap to attention. Your neck does the same, head falling back down so quickly that your teeth click painfully against one another. The surprise — and the inadvertent scowl it prompts — melts away when you register Jeongin in the doorway.
You frown, although you laugh a little. “That’s horrifying, kid.”
If Jeongin sees you swipe the back of your thumb over your cheekbones, he doesn’t say so. He simply ambles into the Hub and finds his usual spot at the far side of the central table. 
“She said the same thing about being under streetlights when they burn out,” he tuts, taking a seat. He blinks through thoughtful silence for a moment before re-focusing newly-widened eyes on you. “Now that I think about it, she did die young...”
You would’ve loved to hear that theory play out, but the opportunity flies out the door as soon as Hyunjin walks through it. The comment you want to make about his surprising punctuality is swallowed down just as quickly as it bubbles up. His expression tells you that he’s not up for much of anything, let alone teasing. With a cursory nod, he acknowledges that he is, at the very least, capable of noticing his surroundings.
Unfortunately, you’re not capable of looking at him — seeing the state of him — without your bleeding heart cracking right in half.
Chan serves as a sufficient distraction, thankfully. He enters shortly after Hyunjin with both Seungmin and Doc in tow. He ignores the former’s nagging about who knows what and ushers the latter to the chair next to the head of the table. He doesn’t sit, though you wouldn’t have expected him to; he never does. Instead, he stands at the back of his chair with his eyes flicking expectantly over to the door.
In the time it takes you to cross from your workstation to your usual folding chair, the guest list doubles. Holding up the wall in the corner, Jihoon stands with his arms crossed loosely over his chest. To his right, Scraps sits on a rare patch of free space on Chan’s desk, legs swinging idly as they dangle; and to his left, you spy the cat-eyed girl whose name you still haven’t learned. All you know about her is that she works under Hyunjin, and they’re so in-sync that people have taken to calling them siblings.
You see no similarities between them now, however. She has light left in her eyes.
Several others filter in as the minutes pass, most of whom you haven’t yet crossed paths with. Well, you might have. Your days all run together; your short-term memory isn’t firing on all cylinders. You don’t take the opportunity to register their faces now, though. Your eyes only linger for the second it takes to confirm who they aren’t.
Chan turns his head to you, earning your attention. “Where’s —?”
Doc shoots him a look that interrupts his question before he can finish it. She knows what he doesn’t, after all: You’re currently the worst person to turn to for information on Minho’s whereabouts, even though you used to be the first.
Behind you, a heavily-accented voice chimes in, “He’s with little Yongbokie on an errand. They should be back soon.”
You don’t have to turn around to know who’s speaking. Sierra, as she’s known within the collective, has the sort of presence you can feel, even when she can’t be seen. It’s still unclear to you how she wound up a world away from the island she grew up on, but you’re glad that she did, and that she’s on your side. If she wasn’t —
Well…
Suffice it to say, there’s a reason why this foreign mercenary is called what she is — two reasons, actually, according to her native language — and neither bodes well for enemies. Specifically, there’s a mountain of bodies behind her, all of them hacked to bits by those blades she’s so fond of. 
Yeah, you think. Definitely better to keep her close.
“Just start without them,” she snaps at Chan, eye roll evident in her tone. 
Despite outranking her, Chan can’t hide the uneasiness that comes with being addressed by Sierra directly. You watch him swallow the lump in his throat before he clears it fully. “Everyone, listen up,” he says with the sort of gentle authority only he’s capable of. 
You can’t help the smile that tugs at the corner of your mouth. It’s such a stark contrast to the tone that goaded him to speak in the first place.
Still, a hush falls over the Hub immediately.
“I know some of you have heard whispers about this. I don’t necessarily trust that the rumors swirling are accurate —” 
Pointedly, Chan looks at Jeongin, who’s often the point in the relay where things go horribly wrong. The youngest never intends to pass on off-base gossip, but his attention span is about as poor as his audio processing. Jeongin ducks his head down; the tips of his ears go a dangerous shade of red.
“— so I’d like to make sure our record is straight.” Chan claps his hands, and as he rubs his palms together, he turns on his heel towards your side of the table. “Take it away, Spider,” he sings, beaming.
You turn your head quickly to the left and then to the right, searching for whoever the hell he’s truly cold-calling because it simply cannot be you. He knows better; he has to. For the decade you’ve worked together, you’ve hidden behind your screens because you don’t have the stomach for this leadership shit — especially not public speaking. It’s why you nominated him to run the show.
Eyebrows disappearing into your hairline, you stare incredulously back at him, silently begging him to pick the gauntlet back up.
Meanwhile, at least twenty pairs of eyes burn holes into you, like sun rays through a magnifying lens.
Fitting.
“Well,” you eventually manage to squeak out. “I — um… I spent the last month or so spelunking into confidential files relating to the — uhh — the Bliss Beta?”
It’s not a question. You don’t know why you made it sound like one.
Collapsing in on yourself, you knot your fingers on the table in front of you and stare down at your hands. “There’s a facility, it turns out, in — umm —”
“Is this going to take long? If it is, I can go and grab snacks.” Seungmin, from his spot across the table, smirks at you in such a way that you might — for the first time in your life — choose violence. 
That is, if his jokes at your expense didn’t have your nervous stomach churning even harder, sending bile up your throat.
That is, if a cold voice didn’t fly out of nowhere, primed to eviscerate Seungmin before you can even process your own reaction. 
“It’ll be a bit hard for you to chew after swallowing all your teeth, don’t you think?”
You hadn’t noticed Minho enter, but you find him easily now that he’s given himself away. He leans casually against the door frame with his hands in his pockets, leaving his tone as the only indication that he is, in fact, bothered. Everyone that had previously been standing near the door must’ve cleared a perimeter at some point — undoubtedly without being told to.
In response, Chan’s warning look is bifurcated, shot off to both men with equal, albeit subtle force. Seungmin’s face gives way to something apologetic. You can see it in his eyes that he thought he was being funny; that there’s no malice, only an inability to read a fucking room. To the contrary, Minho’s expression is pure venom, jaw set so tight that his teeth could crack.
He may have just interjected on your behalf, but he doesn’t look at you for more than a split second, as if he didn’t mean to concede even that much time.
And even though it feels illegal somehow, you keep your eyes fixed on him, as if you’ll catch another sliver of acknowledgement.
“In Cheongju,” you continue shakily. Your voice barely registers above a whisper, like you’re speaking to a single person, rather than a room full of them. “There’s a facility in Cheongju. All the servers currently associated with the Beta are operating out of there.”
Despite your anxiety, you manage to laugh. “They’re sitting ducks, really. Terrible planning from a security standpoint — either stupidity or arrogance.”
“Both,” Jihoon adds gruffly. If you’re not mistaken, he directs his next line at Seungmin. “Those things aren’t mutually exclusive.”
You know it wasn’t his intention, but you crack a tiny smile, nonetheless. “Comorbidities, aren’t they?” 
As soon as you say it out loud, your cheeks set to burning. You send a panicked glance to Doc and duck your head, like your fear of looking stupid isn’t on full display. “Please tell me I used that term correctly,” you mutter, feeling instant relief when she nods and a profound sense of comfort when she pats your still-clenched hands.
“So, what are we going to do about it?” Sierra cuts to the chase, as she often does. “Arson?”
Her eyes sparkle at the suggestion. You find yourself surprised that she’s offered something so tame. Only a week ago, her response to seeing a cockroach in the canteen was to shoot at it.
Not for nothing, you’re also surprised by how endearing you still find that little anecdote — but maybe you shouldn’t be. It’s not the first time you’ve developed a soft spot for someone so sharp.
Reflexively, you look over at Minho. You see his eyes flicker, like he’d averted them just in time to miss yours. It’s the only reason you have to believe that he’d been watching you, save for the inexplicable warmth you’d felt crawling up your neck.
You don’t know what to do with any of that.
“Destroying the servers would only be a bandage,” you sigh. “I want to fully eradicate the program itself, which means those servers need to remain intact — for now.”
“So, we do it like Daegu, then?” Felix suggests. Judging by his sudden participation, he’s overjoyed to have something to contribute to a conversation he wouldn’t normally follow. “We broke in and set up that…. thing for you, in that room that was like an…. air-conditioned microwave?”
You bite down on your lips to keep from laughing. It’s a miracle that he remembers the Thanotech raid at all with the concussion he sustained in the process. It’s even more incredible that he remembers the non-technical explanation you gave for the server room within that data center.
Shaking your head, you frown. “I need to be on-site for this one.”
“Absolutely not. Fuck no.”
Across the room, Minho now stands fully upright. His hands are no longer in his pockets; they hang at his sides, clenched tightly.
You can’t help the incredulous scoff you let out. Bold of him, you think, to write you off completely and then attempt to dictate where and when you get to exist. That slap in the face still stings, but you keep your tone as light as possible. 
“If something goes wrong, or if things have changed from the schematics I was able to access, I won’t be able to handle it remotely. I need to be there to troubleshoot.” And even though it goes without saying, you remind him anyway: “We’re not getting a second crack at this.”
“I know you don’t remember Ilsan, but I do,” Minho glowers, tone as dark as his eyes. The rest of the room falls into a charged silence; everyone is too tense to breathe, let alone speak. “I remember carrying three-quarters of your body out of Ilsan and spending weeks at your bedside.”
Just like that, the air in your lungs turns to cement. 
How do you admit to not knowing he was even there? 
And what the hell are you supposed to do with this information now that it’s reaching you for the first time — a year after the fact — in front of an audience? 
You try to start somewhere. “Minho —”
“No.” His voice is sharp when it cuts you off, but there’s a crack in the blade, so microscopic that you wonder if you’re imagining things. He clears his throat to try and keep himself even. “You don’t get to make that call.”
Here comes that prickling feeling again, causing tears to spring up at the corners of your eyes. You clench your jaw and try to wish them away.
It’s Chan that speaks next. “You’re right. Spider doesn’t get to make that call,” he concedes. Then, his expression turns to stone. “I do. She said there’s no way around it, so she’s going —”
Minho seeks to interrupt, but Chan raises his hand and stops him in his tracks. You want to argue, too, because you’re right here and don’t need to be spoken about, as if you’re not in the room. The leader plows through, unaffected.
“— and because you know what the stakes are, your only job is to keep her safe.”
If the anguished look on Minho’s face says anything, it’s that he wants nothing to do with the burden of keeping you — what’s left of you — in one piece. 
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The briefing continues after his outburst, but Minho doesn’t hear a word of it. It all flows past him, waterlogged and warped, without sinking in. He finds it hard to give a shit about that fact, though. 
Clearly, his input doesn’t matter. Worse, the sole order that’s been made of him is fucking redundant. He can’t imagine that the rest of them would mean much, so what does it matter if he didn’t pay attention?
He’s halfway out the door by the time Chan wraps up. Dodging eye contact, Minho turns to leave outright, to disappear somewhere and lick his wounds. One last lash manages to hit him as he goes: 
When you cross the room, you’re not headed his way. No, your quick steps take you straight to Jihoon.
Minho knows that he has no right to feel this bitter. He should be grateful that his pushing you away is having the intended effect — that you might’ve found someone other than him to lean on — but the relief he’s been waiting to feel is nowhere to be found.
It never is.
The quick fixes he’s gotten of you in back rooms and shadows didn’t satiate him, either. Cutting you out completely has only proven to be more of the same ache.
Unwilling to watch the consequences of his own actions unfold, Minho turns sharply out of the doorway. Automatically, his feet carry him down the hall, up the stairs towards the roof. His brain might tell him otherwise if it wasn’t currently swimming, but his body acts on its own, seeking out the last place and time where he didn’t feel like this.
It’s a bad call, he realizes as he ascends.
He’ll never be able to recreate a scene with half the cast absent. The stage directions are fucked now. There’s no reason to take the steps one at a time now that he’s alone, but he still does. Without context, his motivations make no sense; and his hands don’t know what the hell to do without a belt loop hooked underneath one of his fingers. They twitch in the absence of denim. 
With every step, he repeats his only line:
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
And when he reaches that busted fucking door and kicks it with everything he has, no one looks at him with amused disapproval.
It’s all wrong.
Steel hits cement with a sickening clang that’s still ringing out as he stalks over to the ledge and drops himself down on a familiar, overturned bucket. Its counterpart sits unoccupied at his side. Minho can’t look at it, can’t get up to throw it off the fucking roof, can’t do anything except simmer in his rage because —
Your only job is to keep her safe.
He tilts his head back, closes his eyes, and shouts into the void above, “Fuck!”
As if he needs to be told. 
As if he hasn’t been trying to do exactly that for all the years he’s known you, driving nails further into his own goddam coffin with every second spent in your web.
Elbows come to rest on his knees. His face falls, too, until it drops into his palms. No matter how hard he tries to control his breathing, it comes out through gritted teeth, seething.
The fucking audacity.
Even if Minho hasn’t given you a reason to know better, Chan should. He’s seen better, firsthand.
Every time Chan stopped by the clinic to check in on you, he found Minho already sitting next to your glorified cot, watching your sleeping form like a hawk for any sign of distress. 
Chan didn’t need to ask how your hair ended up in poorly-executed braids because the unskilled hands that made them were wringing themselves at your side. He never needed to ask why, either. When you finally stopped thrashing through nightmares, you didn’t wake up to find yourself tangled in inescapable knots.
Keep her safe.
That’s the fucking problem, isn’t it? 
When his candle gets snuffed out — and he knows it will, can feel it in his bones that this is it — who’s going to keep you safe? 
Hyunjin doesn’t have the capacity — not anymore. Minho was there with you the night Hyunjin’s whole world exploded into pieces. You saw love, but Minho saw your future. He sees it every time he looks at Hyunjin, who’s still listless, still lingering on the periphery like a fucking ghost. Hyunjin will never be the same, and if Minho lets himself get any closer to you than he already has, you’ll wind up just as empty.
Then who?
Chan is too busy. Doc is just as preoccupied, and as kind as she is, she’s never understood you — not really. Felix and Scraps can barely manage themselves; you’ll fall through the cracks amidst their bullshit shenanigans. Neither Seungmin nor Jeongin can be trusted with anything —  or anyone — this important. They’re both fucking disasters in their own right, although Jeongin may eventually grow out of that. Changbin is too reclusive, and so is Jihoon; Jisung’s an anxious mess. Sierra is, at absolute minimum, insane.
And Minho may be the worst of them, but he tried his best for you. He’s still trying, even though that means keeping you as far away from him as possible.
“Fuck,” he repeats, albeit much less strongly.
That pathetic, choked-out word hits the air and dissipates quickly, leaving Minho alone in self-imposed exile. He stays there until sunrise, when the unoccupied bucket to his left becomes too visible to tolerate.
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The next time Minho steps foot in the Hub, it’s much less crowded than the last. In fact, for what might be the first time ever, he’s beaten everyone else in. It’s no wonder; his stomach has been churning for hours now, and it was useless to keep laying in a bed he couldn’t sleep in.
Because life is far from fair, you’re the second to arrive. He doesn’t have to see you enter to know it; definitely doesn’t need to look up to confirm that it was your deliberate, slightly uneven footfalls he heard coming up the hall. It’s a reflex, though. His gaze lifts just in time to meet yours.
“Oh,” you peep, eyes bright despite the dark circles below them. “Hi.”
You seem startled to find Minho here ahead of you. Warranted, he thinks. The sunshine you cast on him isn’t, but you don’t try to withhold it — or maybe you can’t. As much as he loves that about you, it confuses the shit out of him and scares him just as badly. You either didn’t get the memo when you chose this life, or you don’t feel the crushing weight of it yet: 
Sparks like yours can’t last forever.
His voice sounds like gravel after last night’s anxious reflux, but he echoes you, nonetheless, “Hi.”
And then Chan walks in. He stops short when he sees the two of you, eyes flicking from your face to Minho’s with barely-hidden intrigue. Somehow, he misses the daggers Minho shoots at him with eyes alone.
“I re-routed everyone else to the vans and told them to load their shit. You ready?” Chan poses the question to both of you, but his focus is fixed solely on you. It lingers for a moment, like there’s some secret, second question hidden between the lines. 
Minho doesn't know what’s going on, but he does know that he hates whatever it is.
You nod. Whether that’s in response to what was asked or what wasn’t, he can’t say. Your mouth sits in a tight, straight line. That, Minho can easily translate to feigned confidence. You’re not ready; you’re not good at bluffing, either. 
He sees his window in that bit of doubt and tries to leap through it. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
It doesn’t sound as firm as he wants it to. If you listen closely — and you always do — it probably sounds like he’s pleading, which feels both alien and illegal to Minho. He clears his throat. “We can do this without you, Spider. I’m serious. Tell me how to get you set up for remote access, and I’ll —”
“I don’t know how many more times I have to say this for you to understand: You can’t do this without me. You need me.”
Despite what you say, there’s no heat in the way you say it. It sounds like you’re pleading, too; scratching at the door to be let in. He knows you well enough to catch the subtext; to know that you’re not just talking about the job. But Minho can’t make his mouth move. Likewise, he can’t turn away.
Stop looking at her like she’s your future.
Chan doesn’t have time for the thousand of things going unsaid, so he interjects with an exasperated grunt, “Vans.” He points to the clock before gesturing between you and Minho. “Ten minutes, or you’re both walking to Cheongju.”
Neither of you moves once he clears the threshold and disappears again. Say something, he tells himself. Say anything.
He doesn’t.
“You didn’t sleep last night,” you muse, eyes narrowing slightly with concern. It’s not a question. There’s no uncertainty in the way you look at him, although that’s nothing new. “I read somewhere that peppermint gum helps with reflux.” 
You shrug, like it’s simply a fact you’re sharing. It’s not. It’s the millionth way you’ve found to say “I love you” without using those words.
Minho slips off the empty workstation desk he’s been sitting on, dusts off the back of his jeans once he’s back at his full height. With a nod of his head, he gestures to your workstation. “Take what you need,” he advises quietly.
When he moves towards the door, you move forward into the room. Your paths cross in the middle, but Minho keeps his distance, too aware of that magnetism of yours to take any risks now. Upon reaching the door, he pauses and looks back over his shoulder to call out your name. As if you were anticipating it, you look up from the desk drawer you’re combing through.
He freezes for a moment, although he doesn’t mean to. You might be the only person capable of catching him off-guard. Once his brain stops lagging, he says only half of what he wants to: “Don’t forget your mask.
Hurriedly, like you really would’ve forgotten, you pull open a drawer and fish out a black gaiter, which you then tuck into the zippered pocket of your jacket. Instantly, Minho’s posture gets a little less rigid. Not for nothing, yours does, too.
“Thanks,” you sigh. The corners of your mouth raise slightly. From what he’s been hearing lately, this might be the closest you’ve been to smiling in weeks. Your reaction stops when you notice the way he’s halfway out of the room. “No need to wait on me. I’ll meet you in the loading dock in a minute.”
Minho stalls, feet unwilling to move, until you go back to gathering items. He nods once, as if you’ll even see his acknowledgment, then slips off into the hallway without you.
The loading dock he’s headed for is on the opposite side of the factory, but his anxiousness propels him there in half the usual time. His team is loitering around the two vans when he reaches them: one unmarked, one branded, both stolen.
Felix grins from the hood of the primary vehicle, where he sits cross-legged. He slaps his hands on the white metal below and proudly states, “I told you it would work.”
“Let me guess.” Minho looks over at Scraps. “You were the one who hot-wired them.”
She glances apologetically at Felix, then turns back to Minho with a shrug and a sheepish smile. “He tried his best,” she sighs. “If we had all day, he probably would’ve succeeded.”
At this, Felix’s grin droops into a cartoonish frown. “What do you mean probably?”
Minho rolls his eyes. “Enough — and go put a hat on, or you’re getting a full balaclava.” He points to the mess of blue hair spilling onto Felix’s shoulders. “If your fashion statement gets us pinged on a security camera, I’ll kill you myself —”
A laugh rings out behind him. He turns on his heel to find Sierra snickering at Felix’s reddening cheeks, both tattooed hands covering her mouth as she does.
“— and you know better,” Minho snarks, pointing straight at her. “Gloves. Now.”
Scraps’ eyes are as wide as the moon when Minho swivels back towards her. She doesn’t give him the opportunity to say it; she’s already shoving her decorated arms into the sleeves of a plain, black jacket and zipping it up as high as it’ll go. He hears relief leave her in a quiet sigh when his focus finds who he’s truly been looking for.
A few meters away, Jeongin is buried so far under the hood of the secondary van that his feet barely touch the ground. With his target now acquired, Minho crosses to the neighboring bay.
“Well?” He demands, “Did you find them?”
The younger one startles at the sudden questioning; there’s a dull thud when he smacks his head on the underside of the hood.
Jeongin groans, “Aigo,” and carefully ducks his head until it clears the obstacle above him. His cheeks are pink and smattered with both dirt and grease — and the mess only gets worse when he mindlessly wipes sweat from his forehead with the back of his semi-blackened hand. 
“Behind the radiator on this one.” Jeongin then thumbs over his shoulder to the van Felix sits on. “That one was attached to the undercarriage, near the fuel tank.”
With a grunt, Jeongin exhumes himself from the engine compartment and hops to his feet. It’s completely unnecessary, but he drops the tracker he just detached onto the concrete and smashes it under his steel-toed boot. 
“You won’t need the GPS blocker anymore, so make sure to turn it off,” he advises. And he clearly didn’t learn his lesson thirty seconds ago because he taps one of his temples, leaving a dirty fingerprint behind. “Otherwise, it’ll interfere with your comms.”
Jeongin then blinks up at Minho like he’s expecting a pat on the head. 
Over my dead body. 
Minho instead points at the shards of plastic littering the ground. Affect flat, he tells his junior to clean that shit up, which is the closest he will ever fucking get to you did good, kid. The second Minho steps away, Jeongin drops down to hurriedly scoop the broken bits into his palm.
While he waits on the rest of the group — namely you — to roll up, Minho busies himself with checking supplies. 
The unmarked van will carry the backup team to a rendezvous point half a kilometer away from the Ulsan facility, just in case. For this reason, it’ll also carry the big guns, which — like the vans themselves — were nicked from corpo rats. The seats inside were gutted immediately to clear out a cargo area. The trip sure as shit won’t be comfortable, but six people and a few ammo bags will fit inside without much issue. 
Most importantly, there’s enough room for Minho’s crown jewel: a goddamn, motherfucking anti-tank gun. He’s been dying to try it out since the WraithCo. raid that brought it into his possession, but he has a sinking feeling that he never will.
Moving on to the primary van, Minho notes the logo emblazoned on the side. This one was harder to steal than its counterpart, but you stressed the necessity, and he made it happen. Now, when the infiltration team drives up to the facility, it’ll be under the guise of the outsourced IT company that Ulsan uses for routine maintenance. 
According to the data you managed to reap, Ulsan’s made two glaring security errors, likely because they assume they’re infallible — not handling their own shit in-house, and scheduling their tech contractors to pop by on the same dates every month. Both details were barely footnoted in the reports; anyone but you wouldn’t have thought twice about them.
Something twinges in his chest when his thoughts start wandering in your direction, so Minho shakes his head to clear them. It doesn’t work. Instead, it seems to summon you. You step onto the loading dock a few seconds later.
You’ve changed since Minho left the Hub. The lapse in time makes sense now that his eyes sweep over your frame. The black jeans you’re wearing now aren’t chopped halfway up the right side. In order to conceal that highly recognizable part of you, you struggled through the significant extra time it takes to get your artificial foot through the openings — and he didn’t have to tell you to do any of this, unlike the rest of the team.
It’s been so long since you’ve been one of the boots of the ground that he underestimated you. Clearly, he shouldn’t have because you haven’t skipped a single detail. The treads of your boots have been filed down; but the platform sole remains intact, concealing the brand and size, as well as your true height. Specially-designed black gloves cover your hands, so you can utilize whatever touchscreens and keys you come across without leaving your trace behind. Likewise, the gaiter you grabbed at the last minute rests just below your chin, ready to cover your mouth and nose.
His breath catches in his throat when he sees the long-sleeved black top hanging loosely and hiding your figure. He wants to ask if you remember, but he doubts you do. You borrowed it from him so many years ago that it might as well be yours now.
To stop himself from staring, Minho starts to address the group. “Now that our guest of honor has shown up —”
“We still need Jihoon,” you interject with one finger raised, gently asking Minho to wait.
“What?” Minho can’t keep the confusion off his face, and he can’t wrap his head around this curveball you’ve thrown. Incredulously, he scoffs, “It’s a covert break-in.”
There isn’t a single reason he can think of to include the demolitions expert in something requiring finesse.
You don’t respond with words; your eyes flick to Chan, which is enough of a hint. The two of you are planning something — keeping him in the dark about something — but Minho can’t figure out what or why. The leader doesn’t provide much in the way of explanation. All he offers is, “We need a driver and an extra pair of eyes,” as if that’s the whole truth.
Whatever.
The second Jihoon finally walks through the door, Minho immediately starts his briefing.
The main team — including you, Chan, Felix, Sierra, Jihoon, and Minho himself — will head straight to the facility. The reinforcements — Scraps, Changbin, Eunjae, Sunwoo, Hongjoong, and some fucker from Texas known only as “Cowboy” — will wait just outside the property line with range weapons, ready to party with any gatecrashers.
On site, Felix and Sierra will take out security at the gate; only two men guard that post at any given time. Meanwhile, you’ll slip in and disable the remaining security measures: cameras, mainly, although the alarm system is your biggest priority. To get everyone inside, you’ve cloned the badge of a mid-level researcher who, like the Professor, has authorization beyond the front desk.
From there, the interior group will divide into watchdogs and infiltrators. Given the relatively small size of the building, it shouldn’t take long to get you to the control room, where you’ll take a crack at the main computer housing the Beta’s program. If everything goes as planned, you’ll be in and out within 30 minutes.
Nothing ever goes as planned, though. That Ilsan mission was simpler with significantly lower stakes, and it was a fucking nightmare. Minho can’t think about anything else when he crawls into the back of the van next to you.
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For over two hours, Minho has been sitting cross-legged on the floor of this godforsaken van. His brain, unlike his body, is wholly fucking incapable of staying still. No matter how hard he tries to ground himself, he can’t shake the chill running down his spine or the voice in his head. It just keeps repeating the same thought, over and over: 
This van will be missing passengers on the drive back.
“It’s your turn, Minho.”
His head snaps up. Instead of Atropos and her scissors, it’s Felix staring back at him, smiling curiously. Warmly. Minho’s pulse should ease up at the realization, but it doesn’t.
He clears his throat, although his voice still comes out jagged. “My turn?”
“He’s asking everyone what they’re going to do with their lives when this is all over,” you explain. Minho turns his head to look at you. For once, he can’t decipher the look on your face. You laugh when you squeeze his bent knee gently, adding, “Don't worry. I didn’t have an answer, either.”
But it’s not an answer that he lacks, it’s time.
Don’t you know that I’m already dead?
The van slows considerably, shifting from paved roads to gravel. Then, it stops entirely. Jihoon turns in his seat and squints through the holed, metal divider between the cabin and the back of the van. 
“Spider?” He calls out over his shoulder, and it’s no wonder he struggles to identify you. Everyone sitting in this unlit area is cloaked in black from head to toe. 
To help him out, you raise your hand and wave. Even if the dark gloves you’re wearing aren’t visible, your smile is. Your voice is just as bright when you chirp, “Over here!”
Minho sees Jihoon smile for the first time in all the years he’s known him. If he was anyone else, that flicker at the corner of his mouth wouldn’t count for shit; but Minho’s no stranger to steel or your uncanny ability to bend it. He knows your impact when he sees it.
“End of the line,” Jihoon reports. “The next time I stop, you’ll need to sneak out the side. I can see a camera positioned directly above the security vestibule, pointing downward from the left. The van will create a blind spot if you stay low to the ground.”
Now, Jihoon’s involvement is starting to make sense. He’s one of only four people who joined the Black Screen within the last year — after the Ilsan disaster, which led to the incorporation of masks into all field ops. Out of the entire organization, his face is one of the only ones that won’t tip off the guards.
Until the next news cycle, Minho thinks ruefully.
Once the driver is satisfied that the passengers are on the same page, he turns around and sets the van back into motion. Every dip in the uneven road below throws your shoulder against Minho’s; and every time you collide, he wants to wrap his arm around you to keep it from happening again. He doesn’t. Eventually, the opportunity disappears along with the faint crunch of gravel beneath the tires.
The brakes squeak slightly when the van stops a second time. Minho can’t hear the conversation Jihoon is making with the security staff from where he sits, just the slow-motion movements of you, Felix, and Sierra as the three of you inch the side door open and spill onto the driveway like molasses.
All Minho has left to do is wait — for you to come back or for shots to be fired. His pulse picks up when seconds slip by without either of those options playing out. 
It’s funny, he thinks as he pulls his rifle into his lap, that the thing bringing him comfort now is designed to take it away. His thumb hovers over the selective fire switch, flexing in anticipation. Any second now, all his best laid plans will explode. 
It’s only a matter of time until —
“All clear,” comes your voice through static.
Minho flinches. In all the tense silence, he’d completely forgotten about the earpiece he’s wearing. The breath he’d unknowingly been holding leaves him in a hurry, taking the tension in his shoulders with it as he deflates.
“Meet us at the fire exit on the northeast side. I shut off the emergency alert system, too, so we shouldn’t have any issues getting into that stairwell.”
Jihoon is already pulling the van around by the time you finish speaking. In a matter of seconds, he pulls up to the door in question and shifts gears to park. 
You’re standing in the doorway when Minho’s feet hit the ground, eyes crinkling when you see him with a smile he can’t otherwise see. He doesn’t know what to do with that, so he addresses Sierra first. She’s got blood on her temple, and Minho can’t tell whose it is. 
“You didn’t make a mess, did you?” He asks, frowning slightly.
“This is business, not pleasure, so no.” She rolls her eyes. The sigh she lets out reeks of disappointment. “Wrung out their necks like chickens and shoved their bodies into cabinets.”
Glancing quickly at Minho, Felix figures out where his leader’s eyes are focused. “Not hers,” he clarifies, nodding to Sierra. With the back of his sleeve, he reaches over and gently wipes the blood from her face, like he’s cleaning gochujang off a child. “Didn’t leave a trace, though.”
That’s all Minho cares about, so he asks no further questions. Instead, he checks his watch before looking up to check on you. He doesn’t pose the question, but you answer him, regardless; and when you do, you accompany it with your thumb raised.
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“All good!”
You then gesture with that thumb to the stairwell over your shoulder and ask, “Shall we?”, as if you’re inviting him to dance.
“You two —” Minho points to Felix and Sierra respectively, drawing their attention. “Station yourselves along the main hallway. If anyone so much as pokes their head out of a doorway, blow it the fuck off. No witnesses.”
Both nod in acknowledgment, but it’s not enough, not when your life is in his hands. He glares expectantly at them, waits in silence until they get the hint.
In tandem, they repeat, “No witnesses.”
Good enough.
Wordlessly, Minho waves his hand and sends them on their way to the second floor. He doesn’t budge until he sees the tops of their heads through the window, disappearing past the landing. Seconds later, Felix’s voice sounds off in Minho’s ear to advise him that the area is clear.
He turns back to the three people standing behind him to ensure they’re ready to move in. The second he sees the pistol in your grip, his stomach lurches so violently that he really might vomit on his boots. 
It’s categorically fucked — so fundamentally, intrinsically wrong — that you’re standing here now with lethal force in your hands. Over ten long years, you’ve never fired a single shot in combat; never stolen the light from someone’s eyes while you’re staring into them. Still, no matter how nauseous the image makes him, the irony of it all can’t be ignored. 
You only know how to shoot because he taught you.
“Let’s move out,” Chan says when Minho doesn’t.
Minho takes point with you close behind him. Behind you, Jihoon follows with an inexplicable duffle bag strapped to his shoulder. By now, Minho knows better than to question what’s going on here. He wouldn’t get an honest answer if he did; and Chan makes no excuses for it as he trails after Jihoon up the stairs.
At the top of the landing, you tap Minho’s shoulder, prompting him to stop. When you gesture up ahead, his eyes follow, gaze sweeping down the long corridor towards the southwest side of the building. Near the end of the hall, a pair of glass doors interrupts the path to the server room, which sits further down on an intersecting corridor. Somewhere between that server room and the bulletproof barrier in front of you is your target: the main computer running the show.
All the signage he can spot declares the area secure and for authorized personnel only. You’re neither safe nor sanctioned, but the badge you pull from inside the neck of your — his — shirt will let you pretend to be. 
Lim Namseok, it reads.
That poor bastard will probably be dead before sunrise for the things you’re about to do. Minho doesn’t have any higher hopes for himself, but he wonders whether or not you’ll be able to sleep when this is over.
No, he ultimately decides. You won’t.
You keep glancing down at that man’s photograph, swallowing hard like you’re choking down an apology. Committing those features to memory, as if you’re obligated to remember each one of the creases in his forehead.
It’s not a question of if that face will pop up in your nightmares but when.
Minho’s both unwilling and unable to let you keep torturing yourself, so he shifts his assault rifle to his non-dominant hand and reaches out to you. Neither of you says a word as he gently removes the badge from between your fingers and lets the lanyard unfurl. You watch the ID flutter downwards until it rests against your chest; his eyes don’t leave your face.
“Come on,” he says softly. “There are fifty-one-million Namseoks out there that still need their asses saved.”
You don’t want to laugh. Your furrowed eyebrows inform him that you’re trying very hard not to, like your half-hearted glare will override the muted chuckle that slips through your mask. His attempt at levity worked, though. You start moving again when he does.
On the way to the first set of security doors, the four of you pass both of your lookouts, who’ve taken up posts half and three-quarters’ way up the corridor, respectively. Not for nothing, both look bored by the lack of action.
When Felix sees Minho, he complains, “Why is it always unpaid fucks like us who have to work on weekends? Shouldn’t these goons be here to justify their salaries?”
He’s not wrong. This place is a fucking ghost town, and although the datashard you combed through said this would be the case, the emptiness still makes the hairs on the back of Minho’s neck stand up. Whether or not he can put his finger on it, something feels off.
“Wouldn’t mind a desk job,” Chan muses, more to himself than to the rest of the group.
Minho leans into the assumption that he wasn’t meant to hear it. If he was, he’d have no choice but to point out that Chan hardly leaves his fucking desk as it is. So, to keep the peace, he keeps his smart mouth shut.
When several more meters come and go, the four of you reach the security checkpoint. With the badge back in hand and nerves evident in your tone, you hold it to the scanner and mutter, “Here goes nothing.”
Nothing is precisely what you get. No sirens wail, no trap doors give way to swallow you all down. The glass panels simply part with a click before sliding outwards along their respective tracks. Your shoulders sag with relief, unlike Minho’s. He carries tension in every single one of his muscle cells; and he only grows more rigid with each passing second.
To keep his pulse down, Minho counts each step he takes towards the control room. It’s an exercise in futility, of course. He’s a goddamn mess, no matter how hard he tries to hide it.
16…17…18…
Present moment excluded, he can only think of one other in which he’s ever experienced fear. Real fear, that is; the kind that begs his limbs to lock. It’s no coincidence that he can barely function now. How could he, with the common denominator trailing behind him like a shadow?
19….20…21 —
Suddenly, you hiss, “Shit!”
By the time he wheels himself around, you’re frozen in place with your pistol aimed through a doorway that wasn’t open when he passed it. A woman in a lab coat stands there with her hand still on the handle, eyes doubling in size when they land on you. Immediately, the coffee mug in her hand drops, sending both liquid and shards of ceramic flying. Both of her hands are in the air before the pieces can settle at her feet.
You fire once, panicked, and strike her in the upper arm. It’s a shit job, one that’ll give her time to call for help before she bleeds out on the floor, so Minho’s instinct takes over.
“Turn around,” he tells you. 
You do. 
From her knees, the woman clutches her bicep and begs Minho to lower his weapon. She still wants to have kids someday, she tells him, sobbing. She’s too young to die.
Unaffected, Minho aims at the space between her brows. “Aren’t we all?”
Bang!
Her body drops to the floor like a bag of cement, lifeless. Although the shot still echoes, it’s otherwise dead silent until you whisper, “I’m sorry.”
Stepping to the side to look at you, Minho furrows his brows. “Don’t be. We can’t leave witnesses.”
“I’m sorry that I didn’t do it right,” you clarify, voice wavering but louder than before. “You taught me better than that.”
For a minute, he forgets where he is; loses track of the two people standing on eggshells behind you both. There’s definitely still a corpse lying two meters away, but all he sees in his peripheral vision is proof: You may have chosen this life, but this life hasn’t chosen you.
Despite the bullets and the viscera making a mess of the tile nearby, you’re still the person he met a decade ago — someone with the instincts to do what’s needed but too much heart to be swallowed by them.
He hopes you never change.
“There may be more people that we haven’t accounted for.” Chan’s reminder forces three pairs of eyes to focus on him. He urges, “We need to get this done. Spider, where’s the control room?”
With his gun and without a word, Minho gestures to an office several doors down from where the group currently stands. In giant, black letters, it states, “CONTROL ROOM”. Your answer would be redundant at this point, so you don’t bother giving it. Moreover, Chan can fucking read.
“Oh,” is all the leader says before the group presses onward.
You swipe the badge again when you reach the control room. As was the case with the previous door, this one opens without any theatrics. All four of you slip inside before they close on their own, several moments later.
As soon as he steps foot inside, Jihoon whistles. “Damn.”
Damn is right.
The room feels even larger than the dimensions he saw on the blueprints; and with the forced air flowing from the overhead vent, it’s far less welcoming than Minho expected. Halfway between an operating theater and an airplane, the crisp whiteness of his surroundings seem both sterile and stale. He’d wash the feeling off himself if he could, but he can’t, so his skin continues to crawl.
Consuming the back half of the room, a U-shaped desk boasts multiple monitors, keyboards, and switches. Minho has no fucking clue what any of this equipment is supposed to do — he doesn’t give a shit, either — but he sees your eyes go wide with that childlike wonder he’s always been stupefied by.
Your hands twitch, likely from a desire to touch every surface they can find, so you hold them close to your chest while you look around. After studying all the options at your disposal, you take a seat behind the monitor at the left end of the desk.
Jihoon asks what everyone else is wondering: “Is the main computer not the one in the middle?”
Normally, this is the sort of thing you'd laugh at. You don’t, though; you barely seem to have heard it. Transfixed, you simply mumble something about that computer being hardwired to the server room. Minho doesn’t catch the rest of your explanation, but he hears the words “temperature control” and “ventilation” before concentration makes your voice peter out mid-sentence.
The next few minutes pass by without you noticing. Nobody speaks, nobody breathes too loudly for fear of interrupting your train of thought. That’s not to say it’s silent; far from it. Your rhythmic typing takes over the room, and the effect it has on Minho is borderline hypnotic.
A siren song, sort of.
In response to its call, Minho’s mind picks up and races from the room you’re in — back to the Hub, where this all started; to the countless hours he’s spent just like this, watching you work. As mundane as those moments might be in the grand scheme of things, they’re still his happiest.
Maybe he’d count this moment among them if the Sword of Damocles wasn’t swinging so blatantly overhead.
Out of nowhere, you slam your fist down on the desk, startling everyone else enough to flinch. It’s not just the noise that has Minho, Chan, and Jihoon on high alert; it’s the fact that none of them have ever seen you explode like this.
“Goddamn it!”
Immediately, Minho rushes over to where you’re sitting. His eyes dart from your face to the screen, then back again, finding no obvious answers for your distress. 
“What?” He demands, “What’s wrong?”
Eyes glued to the monitor, you continue to mutter, “No, no, no —“
“Spider, talk to me. Tell me what’s going on, so we can fix it.”
“They fucking —” You smack the desk again, like hitting something will knock your thoughts loose. “Fuck!”
For a second, you let the rage simmer. Then, the defeat you still haven’t articulated settles in. You slump down in your chair with your face in your hands, forcing your breathing to slow. 
“They must’ve added it after the Professor defected. I can’t — It wasn’t referenced anywhere on that datashard, Minho. There was nothing.” 
All your panic is funneled directly into the palms of your gloves, making it difficult to decipher what you’re saying. Minho leans closer just in time to hear you cry, “They built a failsafe.”
Minho is out of his fucking depth. In fact, he’s drowning. 
“A failsafe?” He asks, “What, like a back-up program?”
“No, as in, any attempts to delete or alter the program data will invalidate the study.” 
Based on your phrasing, Minho assumes you’re quoting something directly. Swallowing back the acid rising in his throat, he opens his mouth to ask you what the fuck that means. Before he can hurl his question out, you look up at him with abject hopelessness in your eyes; and suddenly, he can’t speak.
“All of their research subjects will be purged,” you spit.
On the other side of the desk, Chan and Jihoon exchange a look — a grim one, but not one of surprise. They’ve arrived at the conclusion before Minho can leap to it, and they’re still talking without saying a single goddamn thing out loud. 
Minho can’t take it anymore. He shouts, “What the fuck does that mean?”
“If Spider wipes the beta, everyone with that chip goes with it,” Chan sighs. He scrubs his hands over his face until it’s red. “If they don’t drop dead immediately, it’s not outside the realm of possibility that their brains will be permanently and irreparably fucked as a result.”
Now what?
Now what?
Minho’s legs grow less steady by the second. He presses his palm flush against the desktop to keep his knees from buckling. He knows damn well it won’t make a difference; his spinning head will bring him down if his body doesn’t. Everything — including the pulse hammering in his ears — is simultaneously too quiet and too loud.
What the fuck was this all for? The time, the energy, the lives everyone keeps sacrificing to this fucking cause — any of it. 
All of it. 
What’s the point of fighting this hard if Ulsan will always be ten steps ahead?
“Minho!”
His head snaps in your direction only to see that you weren’t the one calling his name. He blinks, confused. Who —?
“Minho, they’re coming! Lim Namseok — terminated yesterday. His badge — it flagged —” 
Scraps’ voice comes shrouded in gunfire. The weak connection makes it even harder to hear her; whatever isn’t exploding is crackling due to the distance. Each word fizzles at the end, as if lit by a fuse.
“— to get out —”
Hand flying to his left ear, Minho presses down the button at the center of his ear piece. “Who’s coming?” He barks, “Scraps, what the fuck is going on?”
When she doesn’t respond, someone else takes over.
“It’s the fucking retention team. A sniper took Eunjae out before any of us even saw them coming,” Hongjoong yells. “They’ve got a unit on the ground and one in the air. I’ll try to shoot the chopper down, but you need to get out of there now.”
“Hongjoong, do as much as you can to tear them up, but don’t push your luck. If you’re outnumbered, fall back before we lose anybody else. Do you copy?”
He doesn’t get a response.
Jihoon moves closer to the door to listen for any incoming footsteps. Hearing none, he growls, “Who the fuck called the boogeymen? Don’t they only deal with defectors?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Chan waves him off, “They’re here, and we need to be anywhere else.”
Despite what he just said, the leader doesn’t move; doesn’t budge a centimeter in any direction. Chan simply glances across the room at you, and when you stare back at him, it’s with the same, eerie calmness. Some quiet resignation that makes no fucking sense under the circumstances.
“If I can’t kill the program entirely, I can make it inoperable long enough for the existing chips to be removed,” you say, like you’ve already had this idea in your pocket. “Force quit, so to speak.”
You don’t elaborate, leaving Minho’s frustration to drive him halfway out of his goddamn mind. Worse, you ignore the way he’s staring so fucking desperately at you and address the person standing several meters behind him. 
“Jihoon, did you bring the party favors?”
In response, Jihoon slips the duffel bag off his shoulder and holds it out to you. Only then do you move. Chan follows behind as you cross towards the door; neither one of you says a thing when you pass Minho, who’s still cemented in place.
“What the fuck are you planning?” He demands, although his voice shakes. “What fucking secrets have you been keeping, and why?” 
Once you secure the duffle bag on your own shoulder, you finally bring yourself to look at him. Above your mask, your eyes soften. They crinkle at the corners, as if you’re smiling, but there are tears brimming at your lash line, threatening to fall.
Please don’t look at me like you don’t have a future.
“For what it’s worth,” you start. Then, you sniffle, breath hitching as you try to get the rest out. “You’ve always had my heart. All of it — every stupid piece.”
And with nothing more than a nod to Jihoon, you’re gone, running out the door with Chan towards the server room before Minho can say a single word to you; before he can even think of chasing after you. 
In the blink of an eye, biceps wrap around him like a vice, pinning his arms behind his back and gripping tighter with every kick he tries to use for leverage.
“Spider!” Minho yells.
He fights with all he has to break free of Jihoon’s hold, to throw one or both of them to the ground, to get to you, but the older man doesn’t bat an eye. As if Minho weighs nothing at all, Jihoon begins hauling him back down the hallway towards the fire exit.
“You’re going the wrong way,” he grunts as he thrashes. “Let me — go —” 
Jihoon doesn’t say a word, doesn’t waste a breath, doesn’t stop pulling. Whatever strength he has left in the reserves, it’s wielded against Minho, not on making apologies. 
Minho bucks again, throwing all the weight from his legs to his back. It does nothing apart from exhaust him, but he can’t stop. He’ll never stop. 
“Spider!”
Close to feral, his anguished shouts devolve to desperate, growling noises. “I swear to god, I’ll bury you for this, Lee —”
He digs his heels into the ground to slow the older man’s momentum. His knees could snap at the force with which he’s resisting. He doesn’t give a shit if they do; he’ll crawl to you if he has to.
“I’ll splatter your brains against the fucking wall when I get my hands on you,” Minho spits. “I’m your commanding fucking officer!”
The next time he kicks, someone grabs him by the ankles to help carry his restless body down the stairs. Felix, judging by that pathetic, apologetic look in his eyes. Minho resolves to kill him, too, when he gets his limbs back. He’ll burn the whole goddamn compound to the ground for standing in his way; for letting you do this.
It should be me.
You’re the best of them, and they’re letting you die. 
It should be me.
They’re going to stand here, watching while you —
A sob he wasn’t prepared for bursts out of his chest in the form of your real name. With it, his threats dissolve into pleas, so goddamn pitiful in comparison to the violent way he still flails.
“Please!” He cries, voice raw. Making himself louder doesn’t make him heard. Incapable of doing anything else, he begs, “Please don’t let her do this. She’s all I have — All I want — Goddamnit, please! I need to get her out of there —”
So useless.
“I have to get her out,” he sobs with one final burst of energy rattling through otherwise spent limbs. 
The arms and hands around him still don’t relent. Over and over, he repeats his only thought in rapid succession until his voice gives out: 
“I have to get her out.”
Two seconds before they drag his body over the threshold, the whole facility shakes, like the earth below has opened up to swallow it down. Even from the opposite side of the building, Minho can hear shattered glass hitting the ground like sheets of rain. With the heavy, black cloud swirling over the southwest section of roof, he might’ve believed in some storm.
He might have.
But now, Minho sees the flames licking at the sky above, and he no longer believes in anything.
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There are 244 kilometers between Cheongju and Changwon. By car, the distance flies by in fewer than three hours, assuming the expressways aren’t clogged with corporate commuters. All things considered, it’s not a trip that disrupts a person’s day. It’s straightforward, and above all, it’s easy.
What isn’t easy is crawling on your stomach underneath a blanket of smoke, only to drag half of someone else’s body weight with you down a flight of stairs.
There’s nothing straightforward about slipping through alleyways and ditches, trying to avoid nearby police blockades as they pop up; or attempting to conceal clothes that are singed in some places and actively smoking in others.
That distance does not fly by in three hours, even though the expressways aren’t clogged, because there’s disruption after disruption: 
Starting on foot, only to steal — and later dump — a car when the walk becomes unbearable. 
Wandering blindly without a working mobile, unable to access assistance or a map, and learning that your best guesses are wrong turns more often than not.
Avoiding phones in general due to the localized surge in cell surveillance, knowing even a coded message could wind up with you and any recipients dead.
Stopping repeatedly with burning lungs to check on someone in far worse shape than you, pretending not to hurt for their sake.
No, the estimates are all fucked. 
It takes twenty-one hours to travel the 244 kilometers between Cheongju and Changwon; and you feel the weight of every single one of them when you hobble through the front doors of the factory just to drop, exhausted, onto the floor.
News of your survival spreads like dandelion seeds throughout the compound. Within minutes, it seems, everyone you’ve ever made eye-contact with swings by the clinic to pat you on the back. 
One of them — Sierra, of all people — does you the greatest kindness of all: bringing you a change of clothes and then refusing to stick around for a chat. 
Half of them have never spoken to you before now, though you try not to hold that fact against them. 
Almost all of them throw the word “brave” around like it’s weightless. 
You know better.
What you did was useless in the grand scheme of things, and knowing that is heavy. Crushing, even, so much so that you find it hard to catch your breath. No, you’re sure, what you did was peak cowardice.
You need to get out of this clinic. You need all of these well-wishers to stop looking at you like some tragic hero. You need —
You push off the cot you’re occupying without giving it a second thought. The lightheadedness threatens to take you right back down again, but the feeling passes as quickly as it comes. You stay on your feet, even though you sway, by sheer force of will.
That’s it. There you go.
Doc gave you a once-over when you were first hauled in. Neither one of you truly felt like you were a priority. She may have been justifiably distracted, but in forming her expert opinion, she saw your bruised — not broken — body and declared you “good enough”. You take that glowing assessment at face value now and promptly discard the bit about “needing to stay for observation”.
Her primary concern is that you shouldn’t sleep with your concussion. Baseless, you think ruefully. You’ve been awake for two days and don’t see that changing any time soon.
Before you attempt to make a break for it, you glance at the far end of the clinic. There, a white screen stretches longways across most of the area for privacy, leaving two exits on either side. You don’t see the point of it; it doesn’t hide a thing. Two work lights shine so brightly from their spots by the wall that every movement in front of them is broadcasted on the thin, nylon divider.
As expected, the shadow puppet you’re looking for is still hovering around an unmoving mass in the center of the screen.
Chan.
He’s alive, even though he doesn’t look it. He’s talking, too, which is a marked improvement from the state he was in just a few hours ago. The morphine drip must be helping, you figure. Until now, he had a belt between his teeth to quell the pain, which would’ve kept him quiet.
Otherwise, there’s only one explanation for the corner he’s turned over the past few hours: The love of his life hasn’t left his side since he was carried into the clinic; and he knows she’s there. 
You’ve learned the hard way that both of those conditions must be met to make a difference. 
One without the other isn’t enough.
You can’t hear what they’re murmuring to each other, and you don’t want to. It’s theirs. Thankfully, their hushed tones give you the only confirmation you need: neither of your pseudo-parents will catch and scold you for leaving against medical advice. They’re oblivious; they’re fine; they have each other. You have —
Do you, though?
The person you want to see is coincidentally the only one in the entire compound that hasn’t come by seeking proof of life.
At first, you feared the worst; ripped your cuticles to shreds when the faces passing by weren’t his. No one mentioned his name or asked you if you’d seen him, as if there was no him left to see.
Then, you saw Jihoon walking around with his cheekbone stitched together. There’s some sick comfort in knowing that Minho at least lived long enough to beat his knuckles bloody. You’ve apologized to Jihoon three times now for the effect you caused, but he’s shrugged off every single one of them, like yesterday was just another day at the office.
Wasn’t it?
You creep out the door undetected and make your way to the nearest stairwell. The quiet throughout the halls in the factory isn’t comforting in the way it used to be. No part of the deeply familiar landscape is. 
It should be.
It’s the only real home you’ve ever known — one you thought for sure you’d never see again.
But every empty doorway you pass may as well have a body in it. You still see that woman and her unspent aspirations everywhere you look. You still hear the way she begged for her life before she lost it.
And when the stairs ahead finally come into view — ones you’ve taken a million times — they’re insurmountable. Your body aches automatically, like you’re still pulling Chan’s phantom weight out of the fire. That memory is muscle-deep now, you fear. There’s no getting rid of it.
At the landing, you force yourself forward. The siren song only you can hear is far stronger than the call of your own bed. It lures you around the corner whether or not you’re ready to follow it.
You aren’t, you realize as your steps continue automatically. The guilt threatens to eat you alive, and frankly, you’re prepared to let it. You deserve it. 
Somehow, despite your bullshit insanity and your numerous violations of trust, you still managed to skate through with a life left to live. Considering what you did, you figure it’s only fair that you pay this price — feel this fucking awful — for the rest of your unearned years.
Maybe. 
You don’t know. 
You’re in uncharted territory now because your plan didn’t include an after. 
As your footsteps draw closer to Minho’s room, it dawns on you that you don’t have a plan at all now. You don’t know what the fuck to say to him, let alone where to start. You wonder whether or not you should bother at all. 
If Minho knows you’re back at the compound, that means he made a choice not to find you. You have no right — none whatsoever — to take away his options a second time.
He’ll never forgive you, you tell yourself. If the roles were reversed, you’d do the same.
Maybe.
You don’t know.
You can’t take those hypotheticals and draw conclusions because Minho has never — would never — put you in the position you stranded him in. He wouldn’t hijack a mission you created or exclude you from a half-baked, shittily-executed contingency plan. He’d never force a friend to make some destructive, deathbed promise; wouldn’t have you dragged out of blast radius, kicking and screaming and fighting and spitting, just to drop you in a front-row seat.
He’s the best of all of you, and you did your absolute worst to him.
It’s selfish, walking up to his door now. You know it is. Despite that, you can’t make your body stop moving now that it’s started; can’t keep that boulder from rolling down hill. One last look, you tell yourself. That’s all you need. 
Even if he never looks you in the eyes again, this can be enough.
You raise your hand and reach out to the scraped-up wood with your knuckles leading the way. They’re dirty, you note, caked with soot in every crease. They shouldn’t be. You scrubbed them raw to get the blood and plasma off your skin. It’s possible — likely, even — that your brain is fried beyond fixing, and that you’re imagining things.
Maybe.
You don’t know.
You don’t hear an answer when you finally bring yourself to knock. No, you correct yourself, that’s an answer in and of itself. Acting selfishly once again, you don’t heed that silent reply. You don’t knock again, either. Heart hammering against your ribs, you wrap your hand around the knob and twist.
Part of you wants to laugh. Of course, his is the only door in the whole fucking factory that doesn’t squeak horrifically on its hinges. His tolerance level for annoyance has always been low.
Inching your way over the threshold, you call out, “Minho?” 
And once again, you don’t hear a response.
Standing now inside his room, you don’t see him — not at first. He certainly doesn’t see you. His back leans against the window frame while he slumps on the ledge, presumably staring off in the opposite direction through the glass. His defeated posture is as telling as the position he’s in. 
The Minho you know never sits with his back to a door. It’s too big a risk and too broad a target; an invitation for a nasty surprise. He’s said it a thousand times: whoever kills him needs to look him in the eyes.
This is what it looks like when a person’s given up, you think. 
This is what you did.
Throat thick, you call his name again. This time around, it barely qualifies as a whisper; all your breath is caught up in that tangle in your chest. There’s no way he heard it because you barely did. Really, you should —
“Fuck off,” Minho growls without turning around. “I won’t tell you a third time.”
His words don’t carry the same venom they usually do in circumstances like this. He just sounds hollow, and it devastates you so completely to hear the emptiness that tears start falling without your permission. You don’t move from where you stand, too overwhelmed to process both ambulation and falling apart at the seams.
The lack of footsteps tips him off to your ongoing, unwanted presence.
“When will you people give up? ” After slamming his left fist against the window frame, he pushes himself abruptly off the ledge to his feet. “I don’t want your goddamn sympathy. All I’ve ever fucking wanted is —” 
He wheels around then, fists clenched and ready to swing. All the air in his lungs leaves him when he sees you standing there. The rest of that thought is strangled, and it drops lifeless on the floor.
“You.”
You can’t guess what comes next: screaming, blame, silence, violence. You don’t even know which of those things would be worst — just that he’s entitled to all of the above, and you’ve earned the lot.
What you end up with isn’t an outcome you ever would’ve anticipated. It’s him, his quivering mouth, and his exhausted, red-rimmed eyes taking several steps forward on shaky legs. It’s a desperate bid to close the distance, and a look built on so many conflicting emotions that you can’t even begin to take inventory.
At first, your hammering heart tells you to back away; that he may hate you enough to hurt you. 
But he doesn’t.
He falls to his knees in front of you when his legs ultimately give out. Boneless, he crumples forward onto his palms until his head hangs low between his arms. From where you’re standing, it almost looks like he’s praying. That is, until you notice the way his shoulders shake.
Of all the people you’ve met in your life, Minho is the only one who seemed to be incapable of crying. Nausea swells now that he proves you wrong. It feels like a violation to see him this way, especially knowing that you’re the reason for the state he’s in.
Through a clenched jaw, he begs for answers you didn’t anticipate needing to give: 
“I’m hallucinating, aren’t I? I’ve finally lost my fucking mind?”
Oh.
Without a second thought, you fall to your knees, too. Chrome and carbon fiber scrape against concrete as you scoot yourself closer, and you pray that your proximity will be proof enough that you’re here.
It’s not.
“I left you for dead, and now I’m seeing ghosts. Is that it?”
Heartbroken, you try your best to get through, “Minho, no.”
Tentatively, you reach out to touch his shoulder, thinking that you might be able to ground him, even if you can’t comfort him. Before your fingertips find him, he senses your movement and lifts his head. Your hands automatically reroute to claim either side of his face, fingers sliding into unkempt hair. To your surprise, he doesn’t pull away. Instead, Minho studies your features intently, like he’s ruling out translucence; like his sanity is on the line.
Maybe it is.
More desperately than you ever have before, you drink down the sight of him. Beautiful, you think, even like this. 
Now that you’re able to see his face in full, you find it tear-streaked. Somehow less alarmingly, his right temple is scraped to hell and back, while his left is black-and-blue. It’s a perfect portrait of the fist that struck him. The darkest shades of indigo demarcate where the knuckles dug in deepest; and the scabbed, scarlet lines on his other side illustrate the state of the ground he fell to.
Gravel.
You have to stop yourself from asking who hurt him. After all, it doesn’t fucking matter whose name he’d drop. You already know who’s to blame. 
Nevertheless, Minho sees the question in your eyes, and he tells you, “I tried to run in after you once the bomb went off. After the fire started.”
Of course he did. What did you expect?
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, as if that’ll ever be enough. It doesn’t and won’t erase what you did, yet you repeat it anyway, “I’m so sorry.”
Opening your mouth was a mistake, you quickly realize. The dam breaks, and you can’t keep the words from spilling out. They all pile up, overlapping in time and urgency. 
Every word you say comes out in one breath; sputtered, as if your head has finally broken through the surface of rushing water. “I should’ve told you about the contingency plan, but I knew you’d try to take my place, and I couldn’t —”
“I couldn’t leave you there,” he swears, as if you left him with any other choice. “Even if I was too late to save you, I needed to bring you home.” 
Minho suddenly shifts, prompting your hands to fall from his face. To erase the distance he’s created, he sits back on his knees and pulls you into the space between them. You melt into his body when his arms wrap around you. Just as easily, you give in to the thousandth conflicting reason you’ve found to cry:
He’s never held you like this before.
With his cheek pressed to the side of your bowed head, you can feel his runaway tears. Though his voice wavers, his intentions are rock solid. “I fought like hell to get back to you. They had to knock me out just to get me into the fucking van. I didn’t want to leave you. I swear, I wouldn’t —”
“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t stop the rollout,” you cry. “Keeping you in the dark was the only way to keep you safe.” You bury your face into the front of his shirt and repeat it even more emphatically, “Minho, I’m so fucking sorry.”
For a moment, he stays quiet. As curious as you are about his silence, you don’t pull away to look up at him. You think you’d rather actually die than sacrifice a single second of the closeness you walked through hell and back to find.
Eventually, without prompting, Minho does speak. His voice is so soft that his question hardly reaches you. “Why did you do it?”
You pause, unsure of which part of your explanation he wants repeated. If he’s truly asking you to start over from the top, you will. You’re prepared to rake yourself over those coals forever, but you doubt he has the time. 
“In the control room,” he explains when you don’t arrive at the point yourself. “You told me that you love me, and then you ran off to blow yourself up. Why did you leave without letting me respond?”
Once again, you’re thrown; so disoriented that you can’t find the starting line. There were several reasons for running out the way you did: fear that he’d stop you if he caught on too quickly, or that he’d follow before Jihoon could drag him to safety. More than anything, as you sheepishly admit, “I didn’t think you’d say it back.”
He goes silent again. His arms pull you even closer, though you didn’t think it was possible. 
“I think Medusa had it easy,” he confesses, sounding almost self-conscious for the first time in his life. 
Though you’re caught off-guard, you don’t interrupt him. 
He hesitates for a moment, then adds, “I think my curse has it all backwards. I turn to stone when people look at me, not the other way around.”
At this, you finally unearth your face from where it’s buried in his t-shirt. His body goes slightly slack without your frame to hold him up; the look on his face is just as deflated. 
Turning in your spot to face him, you frown, but you tell him the truth. “I’m not as good at reading you as I thought I was.”
“Say it again.” 
You blink.
Minho lifts his hand and cups your cheek. “Please,” he begs, thumb brushing over your skin. “Say it again, so I can get it right this time.”
You lean into his palm, allowing the warmth of it to radiate until you feel it everywhere — feel him everywhere. From there, as is always the case, the reflex takes over. “I love you. I think I always have.”
“I love you,” Minho echoes emphatically. “And unfortunately for you, I think I always will.”
It strikes like a pickaxe, sending cracks through a well-built wall. You swear you can hear the pieces of it falling. If you look closely, you can see the light as it rushes in.
There you are, you think. I knew you were in there somewhere.
He kisses you then, scrambling your brain so thoroughly that you almost forget it’s the first time he ever has. But he’s no stranger to you, and he proves it. Calloused hands maneuver you into his lap without resistance, without interruption, and lean arms snake around you as you straddle him, pinning you against his chest.
In an instant, you thread your fingers through his hair, hellbent on clinging to whatever parts of him you can get your hands on. That desperate grip of yours has always made him lose his mind; tonight isn’t any different. He groans into your mouth when you tug those strands now, proving that you’re no stranger, either.
His tongue flicks over your bottom lip, like he’s scratching at the door to be let in. You let him, let out some needy, mewling sound as he licks into your mouth to claim it.
Yours, you think. Yours, yours, yours.
When he unexpectedly pulls away from you, those little whines of yours only get louder. Kiss-bitten, Minho’s lips flatten into a thin line that indicates he’s fighting off a smile. 
“Spider, I know vulnerability is your thing,” he sighs. His left hand releases its hold on the bottom of your thigh. With it, he gestures to the other side of the room. “But did you mean to leave the door open for this?”
Whipping your head around, you confirm that you did not, in fact, close the door behind you. Heat rises to your face before you can stop it. No matter how thoroughly you rack your brain, you come up short. There’s no excuse— not even a bad one — for a cybersecurity expert being this abysmally accessible offline.
You’re in the middle of questioning your qualifications for the role you occupy when Minho gently pats the side of your leg, wordlessly asking you to leave his lap. With great difficulty and a dash of awkwardness, you do. Just as soon as you’re back on your feet, your body riots. All the exhaustion and soreness you’ve been ignoring screams for acknowledgement.
Minho must hear it. 
“Bed,” he murmurs, punctuating his instruction with a quick kiss to your temple.
Also a first, you note. 
Despite your long history of entanglements, you’ve never once ended up in his sheets. Your heart flutters involuntarily at the prospect; the fever-grade burning in your cheeks only gets worse. Thankfully, with his back now turned to you, Minho doesn’t see how eagerly you stagger towards the stolen bed frame in the corner. You hope he doesn’t hear the relieved moan you let out when you collapse in an aching heap on his mattress.
Across the room, the lock clicks. Footsteps follow so quietly that you would’ve missed them if you didn’t have his gait committed to memory. The person walking back to you looks unfamiliar, though — somehow. There’s no trademark sharpness at the edges now. There’s no want darkening his eyes, but something delicate that softens them.
It’s need, you realize when he comes to drape himself over you. It’s gentle, the way he compensates for your strained muscles and takes it upon himself to shed your clothes, layer by layer. And it’s trust, finally letting him see the way you exist on your own — with your artificial leg removed from the equation and set carefully off to the side.
After positioning himself between your thighs, Minho pauses. His forearms rest on either side of your head, caging you in against the pillow below. Time doesn’t seem to pass while he gazes down at you, and you certainly don’t mind the delay. Of all your moments, this one — here, with him —  is your happiest.
“In case it doesn’t go without saying,” he murmurs, nudging the tip of his nose against yours. “I forgive you for doing what you had to do.”
Blinking quickly doesn’t do much to dispel the tears prickling in the corners of your eyes. You bite your bottom lip and nod to the extent that you can. “Thank you,” you whisper.
“Do me a favor, though?”
“Anything.”
“Kiss me,” he requests, and you do.
When your mouth is finally on his, he rolls his hips forward with deliberate precision, length sliding through your arousal until he enters you, groaning. He maintains that slow, careful pace; coaxes you open for him until the stretch melts from pain to pleasure.
Eloquent as ever, you mewl with your lips still pressed to his. It’s muffled, of course, but there’s no context to miss. “Oh, my god.”
Once you acclimate to his size, Minho could ramp up the intensity if he wanted to. He doesn’t. He takes his time, grinds against you so perfectly that you’d never dream of rushing through this. 
At this pace, every stroke hits deeper than the last; each languid drag of his cock along your walls converts more and more of your thoughts to static.
It’s such a change-up from every other time you’ve wound up underneath him. Part of you wishes that you could scrap all those trysts and pretend that this is your first. In a way, you suppose, it is. There’s a drastic difference between being fucked by Minho and being loved by him. For obvious reasons, you don’t plan on going back to the way it was before.
His length grazes your g-spot, pulling a whimper out of you. Dizzy from the sensation, you don’t notice the way your cunt clenches down on him until he curses under his breath.
“Shit,” he moans, “Wish you knew how perfect you feel wrapped around me. I swear, I’m not leaving this bed as long as you’re in it.”
Another stroke hits you exactly where you crave him most. 
“Please,” you gasp, back arching off the bed. He leans in to capitalize on the length of neck you’ve left exposed; the heat of his tongue on your flesh drives you absolutely insane. “R-right there, Minho. Please, I’m so close.”
Other people have described Minho as defiant, but you have to disagree. He does precisely what you beg of him, angling each thrust to get you gushing around him. And even after he has you shaking underneath him, he refuses to slack off.
The orgasm he pulls from you is so overwhelming that you feel it tingling in your scalp, resonating down your spine until every nerve in your body is a live wire. You’re still somewhere in the stratosphere when Minho unravels, twitching and spilling inside of you until he’s got nothing left to give.
Spent, he pulls out of your heat, maneuvers himself carefully around you, and collapses at your side to catch his breath.
His eyes are closed when you regain enough motor function to turn your head his way. Across his forehead, stray strands of black hair stick to a thin veil of sweat. The slow rise and fall of his chest says he’s halfway to sleep, and with how hypnotic you find it all, you’re nearly there yourself.
Just a few more minutes, you tell yourself. It’s too hard to look away from him. You’d never had the chance to see him this way before, and you know better now than to waste it. 
“Please don’t ever stop looking at me like that,” he mumbles with his eyes still closed.
Your quiet laughter doesn’t prompt him to look at you, but it does spark the hint of a smile. “Like what, Minho?”
“Like I’m your future.”
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while likes are appreciated, comments/tags/reblogs with your thoughts are really what make my brain go brrrtt.
series taglist:
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resources used
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thyme-in-a-bubble · 9 months
Text
the breakfast
lilac, chapter two
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a/n: when my love, @chvoswxtch, asked me to bring the horny energy of miss patty from gilmore girls, of course I fucking did it, I'm not a criminal, that's what we all deserve
summary: “well, hello stranger.” 
warnings: lumberjack!frank castle x reader, lumberjack AU, pete castiglione era, past domestic violence, crazy ex trope, slow burn, wholesome villagers being adorable
word count: 2373
∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽
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The Lilac Inn wasn’t just an inn to the citizens of Dunbrook. It was its beating heart, a hub for the small community to gather. 
As the town’s only culinary establishment, the residents had always made a habit of eating a fair amount of their meals in the inn’s dining room, the door to the kitchen often staying wide open so that Harvey wouldn’t have to leave the stove in order to catch all of the juicy small-town gossip that had people blabbering. 
“Dad, did you turn off my alarm?” you snapped as soon as your scurrying feet carried you into the bustling kitchen.
Not lifting his eyes from the loaf of bread he was currently slicing, your dad simply countered with a jovial, “well, good morning to you too, sleeping beauty!”
“Dad,” you sighed, jaw clenching at his usual demeanour, the paralysing dream you’d just roused from not setting you up to be in the right mood for such a level of positivity. 
“You just looked like you could use the extra hour or two,” a smile still warm on his lips, the middle-aged man defensively raised his hands.
“But I’m supposed to help you out,” your eyes followed his movements as he trotted towards the stove, “I can’t do that if I’m asleep.”
“Exactly,” your dad passed by a hook full of tangled textiles and tossed you an apron, “that’s why I let you go a little longer so that you wouldn’t doze off on me before lunchtime arrives.” 
“I wouldn’t have dozed off…” you mumbled pettily as you tied the linen around your waist. Exhaling lowly as you watched him crack two eggs into a sizzling skillet, you asked, “what can I do?”
“Well for starters,” he tossed the shells into a small scrap bowl to his side, “these were the last eggs, so if you could go get some more out by the front desk, that would be superb.”
“Why do you have eggs on the front desk?”
“Because Otto’s chickens are laying a lot right now and so he told me he’d give me some today when he swung by for breakfast.” 
“Wait, Sheriff Nilsen has chickens now?”
“Yeah, has for a long time,” the decade of you not living here grew palpable, “he usually just drops the extra ones off here, so they should already be there because I just took his order two minutes ago.”
“Alright,” you disappeared through the back door and snaked down the narrow corridor, ending up behind the messy reception area. 
Your eyes didn’t have to search for long before you noticed the petite basket, brimming with beige eggs, resting on the top of the counter right beside the small rolodex that displayed what date it was. Grasping it in your hand, your vision momentarily drifted down to the small, framed photo nuzzled behind the ever-open logbook. Sitting on the swing that still hung from one of the sturdy trees out back, head adorably posed in a tiny palm, there a 7-year-old version of you sat, forever frozen in that singular moment, beaming up at the camera. 
“Ah!” a sharp voice boomed as you heard the front door swing shut, “oh my goodness, oh my god! Y/n!”
Raising your chin, your eyes grew wide at the rotund woman beaming at you from the doormat, “miss Rays!” you hurried around the front desk, “oh my god, it’s been so long!” 
Capturing you in a hug, she pressed your form into her bosom, “darling, we’re not in bed together, call me Donna.”
Pulling back with a light chuckle, your eyes fluttered over her features, “you haven’t changed one bit,” her lipstick still a fiery shade red and hair still short and feathery framing her plump cheeks.
“You however have,” she clasped your free hand in hers, guiding your figure to give her a good view, “oh, do a little spin for me,” you bashfully obliged with a giggle, “yes! Honey, who is this woman, what have you done with the adorable little girl I used to tutor?”
To your knowledge, Dunbrook never really had a proper school, but for as long as you could recall Donna had always operated as a teacher to the handful of children that called the reclusive mountain village their home. Even though it was just run out of her living room, she had still been the best teacher you’d ever had, her patient way rivalling any of the professors you had to endure when you went off for college. As a matter of fact, she had been the person who’d pushed you to send in the application, praising that you were too clever not to go out and change the world. 
“Oh, stop it,” you sighed light-heartedly, a chuckle still bubbling out of your chest as you shifted the subject away from your own appearance, “so, you still come here for breakfast?”
“Of course, I do, you’ve tasted your father’s cooking,” readjusting her purse, she hooked her arm in yours, “a real shame that he’s never accepted any of my offers of becoming your stepmom,” she leaned in to add as you crossed over the threshold into the dinner room, “I could have been served all my meals in bed like some Egyptian queen!” 
“I’m sure you can easily find another fellow that can handle himself in the kitchen,” the click-clack of her heels came to a stop by one of the small round tables, her eyes briefly taking in the other patrons before a slight crease appeared betwixt her polished brows. 
“Oh, darn it,” her vision stayed glued to the table in the corner as she lowered herself onto her seat, “he’s not sitting at his usual table…”
“Who?”
“The eye candy over there,” she tilted her chin in the direction of the broad, muted flannel-clad back of the man sitting by the window furthest down at the bottom of the room, “you see, I asked your dear father to always reserve this spot for me just so that I can have a great view, if you know what I mean…” gulping down the rest of his coffee, the man’s head tilted enough for you to recognise whom the rugged looking visage belonged to, “oh boy, I tell you, if I was 30 years younger…”
Haven assumed that you’d never again run into the stranger who’d helped you just the day before, a warm flutter suddenly trickled down your spine, “like that’s ever stopped you before,” you pointed out, snapping your eyes out of their trance, “so, uh, do you know what you want to eat or do you just want some coffee or something while you think on it?” you took two steps towards the oblong table where mismatched teacups where stacked and the steam of a few thermoses, all containing a different hot beverage then the next, billowed out.
“Some coffee would be lovely,” she smiled as you with one hand snatched up a mug and the decanter labelled as such, “and some oatmeal if you don’t mind, sweetie.”
Promptly pouring her a cup, you then signed off with a wink, “you got it,” before your vision landed upon the latest of Donna’s abundant infatuations once more. 
Attempting to make the short journey seem spontaneous and effortless, you bounced from table to table, topping off people's cups, before reaching the final one. 
Drawing in a deep breath, your embarrassingly giddy voice then found his ears, “well, hello stranger.” 
Eyes flickering away from the newspaper sprawled out before him, a look of shock washed over his gruff features as he glanced up at you, “oh, hi.”
“Pete–, it is Pete, right?” you checked, slight mortification beginning to brew within your belly. 
“Yes, ma'am,” his head nodded ever so slightly.
“Do you want a refill, Pete?” you savoured the taste of his name on your tongue. 
“Sorry?” his brows furrowed at your offer. 
“Your coffee,” you pointed with the hand that clutched the handle of the thermos, “do you want some more?”
“Oh,” he breathed, though the puzzled look didn’t seem to fade, “yes, always.” 
Leaning in slightly over the newspaper, you filled up the drained mug, only a murky ring at the bottom indicating what it had previously contained, “and can I get you something to eat as well?” 
Eyes narrowing, he stared up at you, “is your vacation really already so boring that you got a job here or what?”
“Oh,” you couldn’t help but breathe out a light chuckle as you answered, “I’m not on vacation and I guess, kinda,” staring back into his eyes as you attempted to repeat your question, “so, do you want any–,” though before you could finish the sentence, out pranced your father, a plate of food balanced in his palm. 
“2 eggs sunny side up and some sourdough toast, as per usual,” he sang as his long arm came down to slice the air between your forms, placing the dish upon the table. 
Briefly catching his eye, Pete then offered a polite nod of gratitude, “thank you,” folding the paper up and scooting the meal closer. 
Feeling the small basket of eggs disappear from your grip, you blinked back at your father as he softly requested in your ear, “honey, could you give me a hand in the back when you’re done out here?”
“Sure, dad,” you flashed him a smile before watching him disappear once more. 
Feet still glued to the floorboards right by Pete’s table, your vision then returned to him as his deep voice washed over you, “so, you’re Harvey’s kid, then?”
“Yep, that’s my dad,” your balance briefly shifted as you rocked on the balls of your feet, “thank you, by the way, for yesterday.”
“Oh, it’s no problem,” his fork punctured one of the golden yokes, “how’s your car looking?” 
“I don’t really know yet. The local mechanic is taking a look today, so fingers crossed it’s not anything too catastrophic,” you felt your palms begin to sweat as he simply stared up at you in silence, “anyhow,” you averted your gaze nervously, “I’ll stop bothering you, let eat in peace,” you nearly bumped into the chair behind you as you backed up towards the kitchen, the near accident not managing to draw any words out of him, only the hint of a smile twitched at the corner of his lips, “see you around, I guess…” 
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“Hey, dad?” 
Briefly raising his eyes from the logbook cracked open on the wooden counter, he glanced up at you as you bounced down the wide staircase, “yeah, pumpkin?”
Hand tracing the railing, with the aid of the grip, you swung your form around the last post as you ascended the final step, “did you know that the hot water doesn’t work? Like at all.”
“Yeah, that and about a million other things around here,” he sighed, vision returning to the ledger as you rested your folded-up arms upon the top of the reception, “this is a beautiful historic building… and what I mean by that is that there are too many things that either don’t work the way they should or at all. I am not a millionaire, honey. If I was, then the issues wouldn’t be piling up the way that they are…”
Bottom lip snug between your teeth, your mind raced a moment before you quietly theorised, “exactly how long is that list?”
Eyes racing to find your eyes, your father joked, “why? Did you become a contractor while living in New York or something?”
“No, but I was always the handy one out of the two of us,” you noted before your shoulders raised in an innocent shrug, “how hard could it be?”
“Let me get this right,” he raised a palm up between you as his eyes crinkled even further, “you’re telling me you wanna try and patch this place up?”
“Well, it couldn’t hurt the business side of things. When was the last time you booked out more than two rooms at a time here?”
“Oh, no, no,” the moustachioed man then began to shake his head, “you’re not turning this place into some fake, glossy tourist attraction.”
Swinging around to his side of the counter, you assured him, “hey, I’m not saying let's flood this place with tourists, but maybe just a handful more?” tilting your head in an attempt to catch his gaze that had now returned to the open book, “just enough to make ends meet, perhaps also enough to at some point hire someone else so that you won’t work yourself to death…” 
Eyes frozen on the page before him, a long exhale then flowed from his lungs as he deliberated. 
“Alright, fine, yeah, I guess that wouldn’t be that bad…” he tried to downplay the smile that blossomed upon his lips.
Spine pressed against the edge of the front desk, you then braced with your palms and hauled yourself up onto the spot that was just clear enough for you to sit there without knocking any knickknacks over. 
“So,” you drew out, searching for a new topic to explore, “Donna seems to be quite set on that guy Pete to be her new husband, huh?”
“Oh, yeah,” Harvey chortled, “but you know her, she’s like a dog spotting a pheasant every time she sees a new man. I think genuinely I might be the only person in town who isn’t either terrified of him or has some desire to sleep with him.”
“How long has he been here anyway?”
“Eh,” he glanced up at the stained glass adorning the front door as he thought, “maybe a year or two? He mostly keeps to himself, lives up in a cabin in the woods and only really comes down here to either provide some firewood to whoever needs it or have some coffee,” vision landing on you, he then noted, “you however seemed to have broken through to him quite quickly. Took me like 5 months to get anything more than a grunt of recognition out of him.”
“Oh,” you couldn’t stop your eyebrows as they promptly rose up, “well, he kinda helped me the day that I got here. He was the guy I caught a ride with…”
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© 2023 thyme-in-a-bubble 
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darkdemeter · 3 months
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OLD DRAFT CONCEPT : " GUARD DOG "
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—- not my gif, credit to original poster! -—
Wanda Maximoff x Werewolf! GN/Female/Male Reader (x slight Natasha Romanoff)
A/N — Here's a little bedtime story for ya'll. Old draft concept for an upcoming and looong oneshot for Wanda in a mafia au setting. Bits and pieces may be recognised in the published column plot wise but overall, we're taking an alternate route, my babbies.
WORD COUNT — 2.2k
READER DISCRETION — Alcohol consumption — mafia business and semi dark themes — profanity — mention of death and murder — mention of black market and auction — reader and Nat have some history — player reader Tony is so proud — Alexander Pierce is of course an arsehole, what else is new? — Rumlow is a bad guy (duh) — I think that's it?
An expensive investment. A broad term to use for a werewolf broken in by the system at a young age. But it’s true. 
Alexander Pierce, the finance manager and ringleader as a whole, did all he could to break you in, and to say he did is an understatement. He exceeded the limits you once believed you had and once you were ready, he put you out in the field to garner your reputation. 
You had no limits. Ruthless in your endeavour to complete whatever task was required of you, prepared to do whatever it took, your peers could only look at you with both fear and admiration. 
When all was said and done, you were given your collar, then sold through the underground hub for criminals: the black market. 
That’s when you learnt in the span of the few minutes that the auction lasted for, that you were either a trophy to those of the higher class of crime, or a very wanted source of security and war. From black funding operators that had their hand in the military’s pit on the hunt for a war hound, to the gangster overlords who controlled territories in the differing states and countries, requiring some form of high end security, there was a very rapid increase in the price they were each willing to pay. 
At a total of twenty-five million, your collar and services were sold to Mr. Tony Stark. From the sleek fit of a light grey, three piece suit and bright pink tie, Stark had a brighter outlook on the window of his underhand activities. He was the type that lounged back in the severity of his criminal dealings.
Unlike his fellow company who each wore darker palette suits of either navy blue or jet black. He stood out for sure as his auburn tinted glasses did little to hide the one question on his mind: Was his money well spent?
Well, to say at the very least, you wouldn’t be here tonight if you weren’t every single cent he spent on you three years ago. 
Thinking about the memory now, this is a different tone entirely. Dark and neon is how you remember the black market scene, stalls and cube stores with an assortment of supplies anyone in the business would need, whether that be for the amateurs - which were the usual target customers - or the smaller businesses which belonged to small cluster gangs. 
The big time runners had designated storehouses to spare where they obtained their supplies, and ran other dealings and hand-offs in and out of private rooms in the clubs. 
Here, the scene is warm, lavish and made for those who seek the comfort in living in marble halls and pristine white pillars, short cut grass and elaborate parties such as this one. 
“Shit, this party is awfully chipper for someone who died last week,” you huff, eyes scanning the crowd from the smooth, darkly polished bar, which you incidentally found very comfortable to lean back on when told for the hundredth time, “Just sit tight, just a little bit longer.” 
You didn’t have the time nor patience to sit around getting older by the damn minute. Thankfully, Tony put his card behind the bar so that meant an endless river of drinks. Because you needed the alcohol. A lot. 
Not a moment too late is your glass refilled with your refreshment.
“Please, Y/N,” sighs Steve from your right side, arms folded over his chest, navy blue suit straining just a bit too tightly against his body, “have some respect for the Maximoff family. They lost their only male heir to a deal gone wrong. They need our support.”
Your shoulders rise with a particular deep inhale before falling lax, you swirl the sliver of whiskey left in your glass and with a jerk of your wrist you finish it. Ice rattles in your glass as you shimmy it, indicating you need a refill and pronto. 
“People live, people die. You cross someone and you get shot in the back. It happens.” 
“He was gunned down in the streets with a fucking machine gun, Y/N. You consider that a mere oopsie?”
You shrug in response to Sam’s question with a pout of your bottom lip. “Pietro thought he was the shit. That’s what got him killed by Rumlow.” 
Sam runs a hand over his face, now distressed by the lack of sincerity you show for the grieving family. “For fuck sake…”
In the three years of your loyal work to the Stark family and those of his brotherhood - his allies - your colours shone through immensely to reveal a shining personality. Excluding the fact you’d become something of a playful rogue with the women. 
You simply chalk it up to your animal magnetism. Something that leaves them wanting more whenever in the presence of your company.
In fact, that was how Tony came to own unclaimed establishments and clubs in the boroughs, ones he wasn’t able to get his hands on before, but after he had you as a playable card in his fold, you provided club goers the relief of being harassed and drinks being spiked. Territorial take over schemes from rival gangs were second guessed when they saw you watching over the joint.
The after hour visits for your libido were just the perks. But you left a lot of lustful and broken little hearts in the wake of your work. 
For a werewolf, you were always assumed to be a means of security, and that much was true. Didn’t mean it excluded you from taking on other odd jobs for the families from time to time. Debt collection, assassinations, tailing and blackmail ops, the list is endless. 
When Steve casts a hardened stare your way and you mockingly raise your hands up in surrender. “Alright, I’ll offer my condolences to the heiress, but I ain’t weeping at her feet for her brother who got himself into that mess because he thought he was too big for his own shoes.”
“Just behave yourself, alright? The last thing we need is the entirety of Europe at war with us.” You roll your eyes and salute the captain. “Yessir.”
You bring the glass rim to your lips and draw a small gulpful of your refurbished liquor, the fiery taste rolls over your tongue, you savour it to keep your sanity intact lest you go insane from the waiting. Where was the heiress? 
“Well, well, I thought I wouldn’t see any of you again. Especially you.” Your head, as well as those of your group, direct their gaze to the new voice. The corners of your lips twitch up and you flash her a wolfish grin, chin tilting up slightly in your relaxed position against the bar. You looked like a cat happily laying in the sun. 
“Miss Romanoff,” each of the men greeted with a nod of their heads. You, however, pat your thigh as an invitation for her to sit. “I had work to do the next morning.”
“Mm, that’s what you tell the other girls, I’m sure.” You clap a hand to your chest with a wince. “You wound me, Sweetheart. If I had the chance, I would have stayed.” 
She hums but it’s obvious she doesn’t believe you by the rise in her brow. 
Natasha Romamoff is a hard fish to catch. One of the more established families that control practically the entirety of Europe, alongside the Maximoff family, the two were partners and crafting an empire strong enough to stand on their own without any dire need for support. 
Yes, her family had prior dealings with the brotherhood. The Starks, Wilsons, Barnes and Rogers and more, whether to collaborate on a bigger criminal project to the smaller portioned deals. Smuggled goods and weapons, blackmail intel deliverance, international bribery to keep the feds off your backs. But she never committed to joining forces. 
You suppose it’s a good power move on her part. She doesn’t have to abide by any of the family creeds, in the end, you’re all loose ends that may potentially be severed if need be. She had the ball in her court and the mysterious Maximoff heiress. 
Even your animal magnetism wasn’t enough to charm her into joining forces with Stark and his powerhouse of families, but they were surely enough to charm her into a wild one night stand. 
But as you told her. You had work to do. And now she appears to spurn you with her eyes and cruel words, but still entertains your flirtatious advances and indulges the empty space of your thigh.
For a well respected mob boss such as herself, she definitely liked to play it risky; dressing included. 
Last you saw her, she was dressed in a more professional manner. But here at this funeral party, whatever the fuck it was, she chose to wear a black, spaghetti strap cocktail dress that’s short enough to be skimming the mid of her thigh. The slit riding the dress up higher is just plain dangerous. 
She’s facing you, back arched and ass resting on the cliff of your knee. Your clawed hand supports her at the small of her back. Her perfume is strong and complimenting, the sweet bouquet of lavender rolls over the exposed tops of her breasts from her even more exposed neck. Her plump, red lips move in a way that’s hypnotic. “So I hear you’re going to be a bargaining chip for Wanda Maximoff.”
“Where’d you hear that?” you scoff with a flick of your chin. 
“I have spies who whisper to me,” she answers with a swift quirk of her brow. 
Of course she overheard the news. She then chuckles softly, and all eyes watch her with a level of suspicion. “She won’t take any deal you offer her. She’s determined to steer clear of your little gang wars over in the states.”
“Rumlow killed her brother and he has bases around our territories. Wouldn’t she appreciate the extra hands in catching the rat?” Bucky poses the question with a dark brow angled high and clenched jaw, the muscles in his cheeks flex harder when Natasha offers no affirmative response; a mark to hopefully land you in the door and good graces with the heiress. 
“You really think she wants a guard dog?” 
“Hey,” you growl with a wrinkle of your nose, fangs on the precipice of baring at her. How she used the term in a condescending manner made the fur beneath your skin bristle. Sam claps a hand to your shoulder, somehow able to sense the seething anger within you. 
“We just want to help. Offer support for her loss and bring Rumlow down.”
“No. You want a foothold in Europe. And I’m sorry but…” She looks you up and down, drinking in the sight of you and you know she can see you without your clothes on. “You’re not going to cut it, babe.”
She turns her body to make her getaway but you don’t let her slip away just like that. She gasps and looks to you with a furrowed glare when your arm circles her waist and tugs her back until she’s flush against you, the men in your company watch with trepidation of your next course of action.
“I will cut it because whether she wants to admit it or not, she needs us.”
Natasha’s eyes, true to her fashion, darken with a challenge. “You’re wasting your time. She’ll get Rumlow herself.”
“And if Rumlow plans to get her first?” For a moment you see the doubt cross her face. “That’s where she needs me.”
“Tony Stark.” Each of the men turn to the voice behind them and their once cool and collected selves turn rigid, nervous under the power one woman can hold so absolute, her green eyes scan each of their faces before they land on you. 
You finally look and meet her stare, still holding Natasha against you even as she tries to push away from you. 
“Unhand her,” the woman commands with an accented tongue. 
At first, you wanted nothing more than to play this out a little, see what makes this woman tick. But both Tony and Steve look at you, silent in their order, you sigh heavily and release Natasha. Once you do, she wastes no time in joining Wanda’s side with a bow of her head. 
“I hear that you wished to have an audience with me.” 
Wanda is the sole survivor of this ordeal. Her parents were assassinated two years ago and now her brother was killed. This is the stressed matter at hand, her empire could crumble to the ground, all that hard work put into the grave, because she’s being so fucking stubborn with this deal.
“I will not sign my family, nor any of my shares, to Stark Industries. Enough have I done to keep you out of the hands of law enforcement. I will handle Rumlow myself.”
This isn’t how any of you hoped this would go. The grief has made her stronger than before. It wasn’t exactly you were waiting for the chance for her to have a weak spot and try your luck, but you all had thought she might even be at least a little desperate for extra help. 
Natasha’s face says it all: I told you so. You can only roll your eyes and resume with what you’re doing. 
“Miss Maximoff, we only wish to help you. All we ask in return is that you grant us some territory to work with for our trade deals as payment for support lent to you to catch Rumlow.”
Thank you for Reading! (◕ ᴥ x)
TREEHOUSE TAGLIST — (Even though I doubt this is worth putting the taglist on, here it is anyway)
@alexawynters
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joonsytip · 1 year
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Coffee, Tea or just more of Me? || Vernon
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Pairings: Vernon x Fem!Reader
Genre: Fluff, Crack, Strangers to Friends to Lovers au, Barista!Reader au, Jock!Vernon au, University au
Synopsis: Vernon thinks life has given him another chance when sees the new barista of the café he is a regular at. You think the popular jock of the university is weird for always zoning out on you. It's the same everyday, until you to decide it's enough.
Word Count: 4.5k
Warnings: nothing heavy just mentions of staring a lot, mention of murder as a joke once, kissing, mentions of lots of beverages, dramatic Seungkwan and Junhui but equally wholesome (lmk if I missed any)
Banner credits to my baby @hoeforhao <3
A/N: Please Like, Comment and Reblog, it would really help me keep going ♡
Please send an ask or comment under the Masterlist post to get added to my permanent taglist or SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist.
[SVT Main Masterlist] [SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist]
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He is staring at you again.
An exaggerated huff stirs out of your chest and you turn to the customer who looks like he'd would faint if deprived of his iced tea one more second.
You have recently started working as a part timer at the café which is a block down from your university, no genius for guessing, to add some cash to your wallet for covering some of your expenses.
The café jostles as an extremely busy hub at afternoons. Mornings doesn't attract much of a crowd except for the zombie like students who basically live on caffeine, would undoubtedly bleed in dark brownish through veins.
You work in evening shifts and evenings attract bunch of loud and shout guys.
Today's no exception, the familiar faces flood into the place, some continuous screeching of chairs or calls of name, some hearty laughs or snarky remarks that follows before all of it simmers down.
Junhui nudges at your arm and before your questioning gaze falls on him, it lands on that one face with prominent and sharpest features, hair dyed in shades of brown those stick on his sweat glistening forehead.
His eyes are not glued on you. Finally.
You look at your shiftmate, "What?"
"I thought you finally got a break.", Junhui comments while pouring coffee powder in the brewing machine.
"A break?", you echo in confusion, "I don't recollect--"
"A break from being stared at.", Junhui cuts you off when you fail catch his humour.
The eye roll that he gets as a response has him worried that they would really roll to the back of your head someday.
"Oh my god, he's coming here", Junhui squeals, "I'll fleet inside so he thinks you're alone at the counter but I'd be peaking from behind okay?", and next he's making an abrupt run to the backside.
You breathe in, breathe out and strech your lips in a smile as you walk back to the order section.
"Hi Vernon", you greet, "Can I please know your order?"
Vernon's eyes blow wide, as he whips his head from the menu card he's holding to meet your eyes.
"H-Hi...", he's shocked, so panicked right now, "Do you know me?"
Yes, you're the one who always stares at me.
Ofcourse you know him. Everybody knows him.
The star forward of the varsity soccer team.
Chwe Vernon Hansol.
You have a motive today and that's to ask him what's his deal. The only reason for which you had purposefully spilled out his name.
"You're quite popular.", you give him a smile, "And we share the Graphical Engi--"
"We share the Graphical Engineering lecture?", he spurts out comically, as if he's hearing the most amusing or the most non sensical thing in the world and the next question confirms it, "We both go to the same uni?"
"Yeah we do.", you say somewhat dejected and your thumb hovers over the computer screen, "Your order please."
"Do we seriously share the GE lecture?", he asks one more time and you simply nod.
Not something unobvious, the times you've noticed him after entering the lecture hall, you have always found his head propped on his bag which is loaded on the desk and he's soundly sleeping.
Something obvious that he doesn't know because the two of you don't even fall into the category of acquaintances.
You know him because everyone knows him because as said he's popular.
He mouths a 'wow' and goes back to ogling the same menu card. With only you being behind the counter and no one being behind him to place orders you know he's gonna take long time just to order his regular, a Latte Macchiato.
"A Latte Macchiato please.", he says and you nod robotically.
"Anything else?", you ask out of habit and your thumb is almost pressing the confirm button for billing, knowing he never has any add ons.
"Would you like to suggest something?"
You gape at him amused.
Vernon has his expectant eyes on you and you have your comical ones on him.
"Y/N?", he asked with concern and your eyes blow wider.
Your gaze immediately drops on your uniform, no there isn't any tag of your name pinned on you.
He's not reading your name, he knows your name.
"How do you know my name?", you ask him stunned. No you are not over reacting, not when you have seen who and how hard people are trying to woo him.
Oh well, his nicknames include Geek God and DiCaprio.
Vernon thinks he has caused an accidental slip up and thinks of ways to cover it up.
"Your co-workers call you by your name, I've heard it many times.", he blurts out.
You don't buy it but you don't peer further.
It's been two weeks since you are working in the café and you hadn't even noticed him until Junhui decided to knock over your obliviousness.
It was your third shift and you were seated on the tool leisurely when Junhui came over saying.
"Vernon keeps on looking at you. I have been noticing."
"Vernon? The Geek God VERNON? Looking at me? Sure, I look funny."
That was your comment before you waved him off instantly.
Day four and you decide to observe the varsity star just to confirm the genuineness of Junhui's comments.
"He's staring at you again."
This time you pull out your pocket mirror and Junhui, the genius angles it perfectly so no one was suspecting anything and you confirmed that Vernon was really staring at you.
You didn't what to make out of his blank expression.
The next week rolled in and you were having a casual conversation with Junhui and your best friend, the best gossip pal Seungkwan.
"Oh my god, you're planning to bag Vernon--"
Seungkwan's dramatic quip stopped abruptly when you slapped your hand on his mouth.
"Nothing adds up, Kwan. He definitely stares but with the most neutral expression I have ever seen on anyone. Like he could be plotting my murder but again he could also be looking at me and thinking about Teletubbies in his head."
Junhui was almost rolling on the floor which he was supposed to mop after those words left your mouth.
"But he lingers longer when Y/N is at counter.", Junhui managed to add, "The time he spends there holding that same menu card, if it had been me, I'd have had it memorized."
Two curious pair of eyes landed on the blonde haired boy and he took his position on one of the tools as he crossed his legs and leaned back at the wall behind.
"I have been working here for over a year and trust me, Vernon never made orders. Their group have a guy called Chan, who mostly places the collective order. I think I have taken orders from almost everyone but Vernon. He never did until Y/N came."
Seungkwan was suddenly wolf whistling and doing some questionable dancing with Junhui.
But you were still concerned.
Did you anyhow do something to offend him?
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Vernon likes you, a lot.
It's not sudden, it's not prolated.
His liking towards you leads back to Cheshire, a stray cat he has been sheltering for some time.
The first time he saw you was when he decided to visit Cheshire before heading towards home after a game. You were already feeding her a can of tuna, unaware of his presence.
He watched you petting her, making funny sounds to entertain her to you sitting on the ground so that she could lay on your lap and take a nap.
Though his heart swelled and chest tinged, he watched it all with a straight face. Often misunderstood by people because of his blank stares he's tired of convincing them that it's never intentional, rather a habit by birth. He's just a bit lesser expressive that's all.
This continued for days, he would watch you play with Cheshire and waited until you left so that Cheshire could get her dose of SeroVertonin for the day.
Unknowingly, he develops a bond with you, solely from his side.
Vernon is also so grateful to you. Once Cheshire had gone missing for two days and Vernon could feel his heart plummeting to stomach, a fear creeping within him when he couldn't find her in all the places he searched.
He had given up but still visited the place in hopes of seeing her. He could vividly remember the pang in his chest when he saw her again inside the shelter with a note stuck on one of the bricks.
Hi,
I found her by an alleyway that's really far from here. She's safe so don't worry. Thanks for providing her a shelter.
Vernon still keeps the note in his wallet.
The day he decided to introduce himself to you was the day you stopped showing up. And he had no way to reach up to you except for waiting.
He gradually gave up with lots of regret and longing until he saw you again at the café.
Always been asked out, never have asked someone out person Vernon was at loss of words and actions. With no idea how to approach you, he sorted back to his same old habit.
While you indulged in different activities, he indulged himself in watching you, unaware that you have caught onto it.
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Next day during GE lecture, you are scribbling down the notes in a questionable handwriting knowing you won't be able to decipher a word out of it later.
When the professor excuses himself out of the hall for some sudden priority work you could sense someone's gaze on you.
Quickly whipping your head and sweeping glances across the hall makes your gaze meets with Vernon's.
Oh, how could you not guess it.
He's flustered when he looks away and next he's grabbing his bag and skipping down the stairs to fleet out of the class.
But your sprint to catch him is faster than the Cheetahs.
"Vernon!"
You call out at the corridor and now every living object in the area is looking at you, waiting for another proposal - rejection episode.
Suddenly you feel small, having those curious eyes, mocking smiles pivoted at you.
Vernon notices your flickering gaze and he doesn't like the creases between your brows.
In three large strides, he covers the distance between two of you and before you could comprehend the situation, his loud voice reaches your ears.
"You didn't have to run so hard for returning my pen.", he's eyeing the pen in your hand, "But I'll take it because you have a habit of loosing them."
The murmurs are loud as others try hard to understand the dynamics you both share.
A glare in sweeping gaze from the jock causes the whispers to simmer down and the crowd regain it's mobility again.
"Thanks",you peer ar him, "Can I talk to you for a moment?"
Vernon thinks he should be run away. His heels are hot and his mind is calculating precs for a run but his heart wants to listen to you.
This time the heart prevails.
As Vernon follows you to the emptier section of the corridor, you think you'd get indigestion from the venomous glares you are accumulating throughout.
"Have I done something to upset you?"
Your question catches him off guard.
When he doesn't respond you throw a follow up, "I'm sorry if I'm wrong but I have seen you staring at me for past days."
Vernon cheeks blush up in pink tint as his gaze falls down. He's biting his lip and shaking his head.
You know his having a conversation in his head but right now you want to be a part of it.
"I won't be judging you if that's what you're worried about.", you assure him, "I just want to know if I have ever unintentionally caused you trouble in any possible way."
Time is elapsing but you wait with all the patience. Vernon seems distressed and you feel bad for this sudden counter you have roped him into.
"I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable.", he says in a calm and assuring voice, "That wasn't my intention. It's just, I always have this poker face on and people feel, well, how you're feeling right now.", he laughs but you could feel the strain behind the words.
"I have been searching for you so long and now that I've found you, as cheesy as it sounds", his lips curl up the slightest almost making no difference to the previous neutral expression but this time you notice the gleam in his eyes as he says, "I can't take my eyes of you."
Your heart skips a beat. Damn Vernon for being so smooth.
"Cheshire misses you.", and he adds suddenly so now nothing is making sense to you.
"What do you mean by that? Do we know each other from before? Who's Cheshire?"
Vernon chuckles and he's pulling out his phone to show you his device wallpaper.
Your hand fly to your mouth in shock when you recognise whom Vernon is refering to.
"I also miss her.", You say with a stain of longing in your voice and look at him expectantly, "I can take a guess at some parts but you'll have to fill up the rest for me."
Vernon agrees instantly.
"But for now if you're free, would you mind taking me to her?"
"Ofcourse! Let's go.", he offers and he's relieved, "I'll explain everything on the way."
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You are miserable without Junhui as the later takes a day off to perform at another gig. The café is not as busy so you're bored.
"Can I place my order?"
Your voice perks up at the familiar voice and your gaze lifts to see Vernon standing at the queue lane.
"Sure Sir", and you're laughing at the face he makes, "Latte macchiato is it?"
"Yes--"
"No.", you cut him off, "Let me serve you my special today, up for it?"
Vernon nods in delight and he goes back to take his seat and you go to the kitchen, asking your coworker to manage the counter for some time.
When you come back with a glass of Peach Tranquility on the tray, Vernon salivates at the beverage because of the fruity smell and vibrant colours.
"I never knew a Herbal Tea could taste this good.", Vernon compliments you, "Or is the magic in the hands of the one making it?"
Your cheeks warm up, meeting his gaze seems to be difficult so you scurry away making an excuse of getting to the counter.
Does he make your heart flutter as much as you do to his, Vernon ponders over.
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Jealousy is a disease and you have it.
It's been weeks since you introduced Vernon to two of your treasured friends. You still remember the first encounter.
"Should I leave? They don't like me it seems."
Vernon whispered in your ear and you held his arm on an instinct, a gesture meaning no stay.
After some awkward glances and formal talks you were successful in stirring the fluidity between the three.
And now, Seungkwan and Junhui are more Vernon's friends then they are yours.
You are really content, though sometimes you get jealous how close they seem but it's funny how perfectly Vernon slots himself in your life.
What's funnier? It's the way your heart has been constricting whenever you're around Vernon. The air around get harder to breath in when he's too close to you. You know what it means, you're not dumb.
And because you're not dumb you know that harbouring a crush on Vernon is ridiculous because, well, he's handsome, he's a popular and he has the whole town lined up for him.
Everytime it occurs to you, a wistful sigh comes out and you end up waving the thoughts away.
Your memories of the past weeks makes you realise how Vernon clogs in each one of them.
"If I'm failing this class, it's on you."
Your GE lectures are similar expect nowadays you are occupying one of the chairs at back and Vernon's bag is of no use as he always lays his head on your shoulder quoting it gives him the best sleep.
"Stop being dramatic, take notes and let me sleep Y/N."
Instead of taking notes, you always end up counting his lashes, admire his sharp nose or linger your gaze on his lush lips.
"Don't you have a match tomorrow?"
You couldn't pinpoint since when you had started taking notes of his session calenders for the soccer matches.
"Will you come?"
It was kind off ritual to Vernon, asking you to attend the matches and getting a no everytime. Not that he minded, knowing you had no interest or knowledge in the sports, plus the extra classes you attended was taking much of your time and he would never want to add another baggage to your counter.
"Here, I made you porridge since you still have fever but decided to work your shift.", Vernon places the carrier on the counter sounding disappointed, "I got you some medicines as well."
After your shift ended, you found Vernon waiting for you by one of the tables. You took the carrier and pushed it to him, taking the seat adjacent to his.
"You want me to feed you?"
You didn't even have to answer him and he was opening the lids while holding the spoon in his hands.
The red tints on your cheeks were not from fever burns but because of the guy who was feeding you, even letting you use his other arm as a pillow but he didn't need to know that.
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Seungkwan takes a sip of his Iced Americano in silence. Junhui is unusually quiet, he's the one spacing out today.
"You have done nothing except for sipping on that never ending drink", Vernon points to Seungkwan in an accusatory tone and turns to the one sitting beside him, "And you, are you awake? Are you sleeping? Are you even listening?"
Seungkwan lets out a hum, a poised one which makes Vernon anxious.
"So you admit to liking Y/N?"
Vernon cocks his brow, "Is this a court session? Am I being charged?"
"Just answer in Yes or No."
"Yes. I like her, a lot. I think I love her.", Vernon says it again, with sincerity and emphasis.
Junhui chimes in with a grin, "We know. You're damn obvious but", the grin is wipped off and seriousness ghosts over as he continues, "It's not that we don't trust you but we want to be sure that this is not some kind of prank or a bet which general goes on between the group of jocks. We have seen that a lot and everytime the one on recieving end gets heartbroken, mocked and it becomes their pain to bear."
"The one causing it is termed cool or passed as if it's obvious. It never effects the popular person. They go on as if nothing ever happened and their popularity remains the same.", Seungkwan picks up, "To be honest, your other circle is good, I have never seen or heard anything problematic which comes as a surprise but I hope you understand where we both are coming from."
"No one would want to see their friend suffer", Vernon says with stark seriousness, "I swear on Cheshire and Soccer that I really love Y/N and I want to court her."
Seungkwan gasps before closing the palms over his mouth.
Junhui stands on his feet wide eyed, the chair making the loudest screech because of the abrupt movement.
And Vernon thinks he had said something wrong. Incredibly wrong.
"Oh my god, did you hear him?", Seungkwan asks Junhui.
"He's totally smitten, gosh!", comes the other's response.
Vernon groans, heart pulsating a little lesser than before. He's at fault for forgetting how dramatic these two idiots can be.
They exchange a knowing glance before looking Vernon.
"Confess to her.", both of them say in unison.
Vernon is however unfazed, "Trust me I want to. If I could do it right now--"
"Do it as soon as you can.", Seungkwan encourages him.
"It's not easy when I know I'll get awkward around her", Vernon knows he's gonna spend some sleepless nights, "But I need to one up."
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You are confused when you reach the shelter to see no signs of Vernon when he was the one to call you up to meet him here.
Cheshire meows at you, circling around your feet when you notice a note tied to her tail.
Turn left and walk past the tree if you wanna a play a game with me.
-Vernon
Your eyes squint searching for the creator of the note that you're holding as you turn around. You start walking towards the instructed place while Cheshire follows you.
Vernon is so nervous that if now someone asks him which team he plays for he'd mix up the names, his jersey number, even the position he plays in.
He almost jolts when he sees you approaching but Goodness Gracious his calming pill, Cheshire is also with you.
"What's the meaning of this note?"
"I want to send a code to you.", Vernon explains, "Answer three questions to get a slot each time and put it as a whole to decode my message."
You have never been this confused in your entire existence but you comply.
"First question,", Vernon says, his nervousness swaying away a bit, "Which jersey number is generally assigned to a team's first choice goalkeeper?"
The gears in your head don't need to turn at all.
You immediately respond, "When I said, I intake everything you speak about your passion including facts, I mean it.", your lips curl up, "The answer is 1."
Everytime he thinks his heart couldn't swell more you prove it wrong.
"Correct!", he is grinning, being so proud of you.
You mirror his grin
"Next question is... it's the easiest of all", his brows cocks at you, "What's the only self-enumerating number in English?"
You scoff and speak nonchalantly, "4. What am I, a four year old trying to memorize numbers?"
Vernon chuckles, "You got that correct too. Now time for the last question."
You brace yourself for the last one. Cheshire is seated on the ground, in between you two, her gaze moving from you to Vernon and vice versa.
"I am usually found with a couple of friends, Quarter a dozen, and you'll find me again. What am I?", he asks with a underlying tone, "Even though it's a riddle, you'll have to take the words as it is to crack this."
It's time you have use your brain. Riddles are meant to make you think about everything expect for the actual answer which most of times are present in the question itself.
Vernon watches you intently as you bite your nail, a habit of yours when you're thinking too hard. He crouches to pet Cheshire and the later purrs in content.
Some time passes by and you're still thinking of everything and anything unaware of the amused looks you're getting from both Vernon and Cheshire.
"Got it!", your sudden yell startles him, "The answer is 3!"
Vernon is instantly up on his heels as he smiles, "Congratulations for getting all the no-brainers correct.", he laughs when you scowl, "Now the last part, put the answers together and you'll get the code. Decode it and that'll be the message I'm trying to send you."
"Okay, let me put it together.", you mumble, "In order right? Then it's 1 4 3--"
You tongue gets tied and you look at Vernon with wide eyes. The nervousness that had simmered down comes back to him tenfold. He could feel his legs giving up when he meets your gaze.
None of you speak.
Both of you are frozen.
His heart might burst out of his chest if you prolong your answer one minute more. You only hope that what's Vernon trying to say is the only meaning to 143 that you know.
Cheshire, the cute little bean could also sense the tension between her adoptive parents. So she meows to stir some mobility.
Vernon thinks it's time he asks for his sake. He's about to open to his mouth when he hears you.
"I love you too.", you say so timidly and look away that Vernon has to close the gap between you two.
"Can you say it again?", he asks in desperation, "Do you really mean it?"
The index hooked under your chin, forces you to look at him.
"I love you, Vernon."
Comes your affirmation and the words that he needed to hear.
His head dips down to plant his lips on yours. Your arms circle around his neck and his settles on your waist.
He has his eyes opened while you have them closed. That's definitely a sight he'd love to see everyday, he's sure. You're loving the plush of his lips against yours and you don't miss how gentle his grip is on you. This feeling is so new yet so satisfactory that you'd need to have it everyday, you're sure.
"I love you, Y/N.", he whispers against your lips and you pull him back to have the touch of his lips again.
It's intoxicating.
You are kissing under the stars, moonlight being the only illumination on you both. The birds are chirping something soothing faraway and the cold breeze is doing nothing to cool you because it's Vernon, the only other you can feel on yourself.
You both break the kiss giggling when you hear another mewl from Cheshire. You immediately lift up the feline in your arms and Vernon is hugging you from back as you both pet her.
"You could have just confessed directly you know?", you crane your neck to tease him, "What if I got the answers wrong?"
Vernon pecks your forehead and says, "I had a lot of alternatives ready. I wouldn't have let you go until I got the correct answers from you."
You gaped at him in disbelief.
"Such a dork."
"But your dork", he laughs making you smile as well.
"How about we rename Cheshire to Cupid?"
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"The shop is closed, we won't be taking anymore orders Sir.", you are half leaning on the counter and as you joke around with the man standing infront of you.
Your boyfriend.
Vernon is unfazed, "I was in a mood good, would have tipped you well."
You snort at his response and you're undoing the ties of your apron, "Well in that case, along with our regular menu I can provide you an exclusive item."
"Sounds good, can I know what it entails?"
You keep the apron inside the case and walk out from behind the counter. When you do so, Vernon is instantly pulling you to him as he entwines his fingers with yours.
"Would you prefer Coffee, Tea", you grin tightening your grip on him, "or just more of Me?"
Vernon feigns to ponder, even rubbing his chin for a good measure, "The last one sounds appealing. I'd always like to have you, love."
"You're so corny.", you're pinching the bridge of his nose, "Good that I love you."
Vernon just smiles and the warmth he's radiates is enough for you to thrive longer, to love stronger.
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→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️
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lilimoon-draws · 25 days
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AU where several hundred years have passed since the defeat of The Calamity, and Queen Mipha decides to visit Sanidin Park.
Following their triumph, the king of Hyrule had statues erected at this site to honor all the Champions, immortalizing them as stone protectors forever watching over the land.
Once a bustling hub where people from across the kingdom would gather to pay homage and express gratitude to the heroes who saved the world, the park now sits in neglect and disrepair.
Mipha's companions, including her late husband Link, have long faded from the collective memory.
Yet, Mipha refuses to forget. Whenever she can spare a moment from her royal duties, accompanied by a pair of her guards, she makes the pilgrimage.
In the heart of the park, the statues of the Champions stand, each depicted heroically wielding their weapon in a mid-battle pose. It never fails to amuse Mipha that she was immortalized at such a diminutive stature. If they had all lived as long as she, she would tower over them all, perhaps even Daruk.
She lovingly clears away the dust and natural debris from each statue, reminiscing fondly about her time with her fellow Champions, Princess Zelda, and, of course, Link. She lingers a little longer at Link's statue.
Once she's satisfied with her work, she places flowers at the feet of her departed friends, a bouquet for each. Then, she settles onto one of the benches, content to simply soak in the peaceful view—the peace they all fought so valiantly to preserve.
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Uselessly Protected | Yandere Black Butler
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Zombie Apocalypse AU
The howling sounds of the undead groaning rang through your ears as you adjusted the strap of your backpack. Letting your hand hover over the pocket knife you had hidden, you were acutely aware that you weren’t supposed to have it. But you found that impossibly unreasonable for the state the world was in. 
“Birdie? What are you lookin’ o’er there for?” 
The light voice of Finny calls your attention to him. Bright-eyed and no longer adjusting the grip of his bat, he’s searching your face for some indication of your drifting attention. You smile at him, shaking your head at your odd behavior hopefully silencing any worry. For Finny it's enough as he waits for you to walk ahead of him down the shadowed path to the vehicle. You move forward, eyes trained on the light illuminating the exit of the alleyway. Slow to leave, you scan your surroundings before darting across the street to the bus your troupe had begun calling home. Knocking a tune from childhood, the bus doors swing open revealing Elizabeth, dressed in the bloodiest, pink zombie armor ever, in the driver's seat.
“Hiya (Y/n)! Finny! How was the run?”
“It was great, Miss!”
You let yourself inside immediately dropping the backpack to the ground, relieving yourself of the hefty load. Hovering over your catch with sweat dripping down your face accompanied by the ache of your back relaxing it, you enviously watched the blond still at the entrance of the bus. Completely unphased by the weight of his backpack, which was already five times bigger than the one you had, he was still joyously conversing with the girl. You always thought his unbelievable strength would be generally unideal in a modern world but with the era of the infected starting anew, he was an asset through and through. Not to mention he was a sweet boy, a little clingy but that word doesn’t mean much since you’ve joined your troupe. 
Your troupe weren’t some randos you collected over time, the majority of them were the people you spent your hours working with. Maintaining the mansion, catering to the heir who lived in it, and raising the prodigy to be a decent person. It was a part-time job, miraculously handed to you after you returned the missing prodigy at a young age. A glorified babysitter–that’s what your peers called you; laughing about your gig when you told them what you do. Their jeers weren’t all that bad especially when you could wave your fat paycheck in their face. The Phantomhive family was more influential than one would think, with connections spreading  across the criminal world all the way to the English Monarchy. The point is this was a position beyond any average citizen, which meant striving to put your best foot forward at all times if only for your own safety.
This is the only reason why you found yourself in the Phantomhive manor the day the world ended. It didn’t matter that you tried to leave and failed. Those in the manor did not want you to leave so you didn’t. They were a different breed, something made clear by all their reactions to the world turning on its head.
“It was good…that department store is starting to have less and less.” You spoke to the blonde as you unloaded your pack, already missing the discouraged look on her face. 
“B-but you shouldn’t worry Miss! Sebastian and the Master are already working to find a new place!” 
“Oh…good.”
You appreciated Finny’s attempt to lift her spirits but you feared it was all in vain. When you were allowed to go on trips you could easily distinguish the severe lack of supplies it had originally been the hub for. You suspected another, larger group had found it and weren’t afraid to ransack the place. If that were the case, it could mean there were others who’d be willing to help survive. Others to pull their affection from you.
Having unpacked your bag and finished tying down the supplies in their rightful place, you plop on one of the seats designated as your bed. Nuzzling into the planklike surface of the old bus seat. You tried to ignore the thought of the millions that had previously sat on this nearly months before. 
“Why y’all lookin’ so glum?”
“Bard!” 
Finny cheered, launching himself into the chest of the cook. Returning the hug the two would begin to excitedly recount the number of zombies they offed. A game they started when they went on supply runs together. Not long after Mey-Rin followed suit, too busy stumbling over the stairs of the bus to speak properly. 
“We oughta make an official tally for ya, yes we should!” 
“If we did, everyone would see how I’m sweepin’ the floor with ya!”
“That’s not true, it's not! I’m doing better than yous, I did!” 
You hummed to yourself almost relaxed by their familiar squabbling, you let your eyes close. Listening to the steps going deeper into the bus before attempting to lightly tap away, you figured they must have figured you were trying to sleep. 
So sweet. You almost felt bad tricking them.
“Feeling relaxed, (Y/n)?”
Your eyes snapped open to Sebastian Michaelis who was leaning over you with a knowing smirk. Settling your beating heart with a hand over it, you sat up. Straightening out your position as his red eyes seemed to follow you.
“S-seb, you scared me!”
“How was your run today? Successful and uneventful I hope.” “Yeah, it was okay…”
You trailed off as you crossed your arms over your chest. It was normal for him to probe like this, even before the zombie apocalypse. He’d always catch you alone with this intense look in his eyes that had you demanding all of what he wanted. In a gross way, it was hypnotic. Others who have had the misfortune pleasure of coming across your co-worker would fondly recall his crimson gaze. You could do no such thing. 
Especially when it was attached to someone who obviously saw himself as more than you. Challenging your authority, in the guise of being a mere colleague. And of course, as the senior in the workplace, you expected that but not in life in general. 
“Reporting Sebastian! It was all clear! Not a single scratch!” Finny explained with a not-a-mock salute, smiling wider as the butler smiled at him. 
“Good.” He leaned in closer to you bringing his voice lower. “So why do you need that pocket knife?”
You had half a mind to curse him right then and there but the others were already turned away from you to focus on something else. No use bringing their nonsensical input. You held your ground tucking the folded weapon under you as a deterrent.
“Why not? The world’s going crazy and I have a right to want to protect myself.”
He looked at you like you were stupid. 
“Don’t you remember we said that we’d protect you? It’s an insult to our capabilities for you to hold on to something so useless.”
“Be insulted. I’m not who you guys are hired to protect, not to mention there’s no doubt going to be more…stressed scavengers looking for food. With the Department store running low, this weapon may very well save my life.”
Sebastian’s eyes narrowed at you initiating a silent bout of wills. You held his gaze while keeping a hand on your pocket knife. Knowing him, it wouldn’t be hard to distract you while he swiped it from underneath.
He stopped, tilting his head to the side, closing his eyes in a tight-lipped smile. 
“Fine then. For now, you can keep it with you. But the moment we leave this area you’ll be relieving it from your possession.” 
With that, he stepped away no doubt to help the on-comers who followed or more accurately clung to the young noble. Soma, a prince who happened to be in the area, was quickly ascending the bus steps hand-in-hand with Ciel. It isn’t long before Agni follows suit, waiting until the both of them were on the bus before shutting the door close, using the snipe to look out the window. 
“Come on Ciel! I’ll have to show you all my latest finds. Oh hi (Y/n)!”
“Hi, Soma.”
Ciel went to say something only to be pulled away deeper into the bus. Occupying the cot and pulling back the curtain Sebastian had arranged for him Soma happily dumped the contents of his bag on Ciel’s caught. You turned away stifling your laughter as you could see the red overtaking his cheeks. 
You instead watched the way Agni and Sebastian sent speculative glares to something or more likely someone outside. Groping the pocket knife in your hand you hoped you wouldn’t have to use it. 
Everyone began to settle down with the falling of the sun, having eaten and barricading the bus’ entryways. You still seemed to have trouble settling down, mostly on the account that Agni and Sebastian were both active. 
It was normal for Sebastian to roam at night, he did it often on your overnight stays. Surely, it's been heightened because of the Zombie apocalypse, which demanded his presence be known. This begs the question was he purposely not making himself known before. Agni mirrored him fully tense and prepared to fight in what should have been the safety of the bus. 
You were tired but not that tired.
“Hey, what’s the matter?”
They didn’t bother turning to you, completely well aware of your creeping steps over the sleeping troupe. Agni spoke first.
“Many of us have been followed by this fellow for a while. My guess is that he’s a scavenger.”
You looked out the window they hadn’t blocked, failing to find whoever he was speaking of. But this was Agni, he’d never lie over something like that. 
“Why not rest (Y/n)? We’ll handle them should they attempt to move forward.”
You glared at him or at his silhouette annunciated by his eyes which weren’t looking at you. He was doing it again. This undermining is an overprotective suggestion he’d do before steering you into a corner. A useless corner for the useless au pair. 
“Why can’t you trust me, Sebastian?”
His gaze shifts to you, fully focused on you.
“Whatever do you mean?”
“Why do you keep pushing me out of the way like I’m not an adult myself? I’m not Ciel, in fact, I help you care for him so why do you act like I’m so helpless all the time?”
You could visualize the smile that was spreading across his face. 
“I think you misunderstand my intentions towards you.”
“Am I?”
“You equate my care for you to be on par with that of Ciel.”
“Right?”
“I won’t shy from it, I care for you on an intensely different level (Y/n). Which naturally has me prioritizing your safety, can’t I have that luxury?”
“Not in a Zombie apocalypse you can’t…” 
You stole a look at Agni who looked incredibly uncomfortable like a family friend in a couple’s spat. Sighing you turned to Sebastian’s silhouette putting a hand on his back.
“Just believe in me some more okay?... And maybe I’ll appreciate your efforts a bit more.”
With a light pat to the back, you walked over to the ammunition corner taking to doing general upkeep on the arsenal. 
Thankfully in the darkness of your shelter, you didn’t have to witness the fumes of obsession spiraling off the butler. 
It’s nice to be heard every once in a while.
_____________________________________________________
“Hello peasants, we’ve come to make a proposition for all of you!”
“Who let this idiot into the bus!?”
That was a good question. The blonde noble you only recognized from the various competitions Ciel was meant to attend, was making the declaration while standing on the seats. Ciel was clenching his fists, turning a dangerous shade of red as everyone spoke their piece.
“Well hello there, you look around master’s age, you do!”
“Oh my goodness there’s three of them and they all look the same!”
“No, we’re not.”
“A little bit kinda.”
“Not at all you’re wacked in the head.”
Sebastian was glaring intensely at the boy’s butler, while his maid was smiling at an on-guard Agni. It was an odd dynamic to wake up to. Something that wasn’t solitary to living with them during a Zombie apocalypse, 
“You guys let’s all settle down and talk this through.” You gestured to the outside where the streams of the undead limped about. “Which sure beats alerting them.”
“Ahh (Y/n)! You’re still alive! Always so cool! C’mon Claude let’s sit next to them!”
Darting across everyone he was hugging you clinging to your arm as he chose a place to sit, no doubt worsening Ciel’s mood. In direct competition, Ciel took to your otherside slyly slipping his hand into yours. 
“Ahem, (Y/n) is right we should attempt to peacefully discuss your intrusion.”
“Intrusion!? How rude! (Y/n) we were in danger and had nowhere else to go!”
“Don’t cling to them like that!” 
You sent a look to Sebastian eager to usher everyone into a calmer state. Hopefully you could end this without bloodying your hands.
[Continue?]
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scrapbug93ar1 · 3 months
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WELCOME TO SPARKLY TRASH!!! HOW CAN I HELP YOU!! :D
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I provide a variety of services to fellow space travelers like myself!!! Whether that be goods or information!!!
↓ ↓ ↓ click and take a gander ↓ ↓ ↓
And here I'll provide such services!:
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MAP
ENDREALM
FARLANDS
SL1(HUB)
SL2
OTHERS
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GOODS
Store (coming soon)
FACTIONS
Vindicator (coming soon)
The Enders (coming soon)
Doc industry (coming soon)
Enchanters (coming soon)
Planet finders (coming soon)
Planet takers (coming soon)
Red lives (coming soon)
Renchanting (coming soon)
5 figureheads of Sanctuary (coming soon)
HYBRIDS
Common (coming soon)
Vex (coming soon)
Glare (coming soon)
Blaze (coming soon)
Enderian (coming soon)
Avain (coming soon)
MISC
Scapbug (coming soon)
Vending machines (coming soon)
Also urrhh: might as well put this here too!: if you do have any information about this missing person, please do contact me! :)
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///Disclaimer [that is out of character]. This I a mini spin off blog made with the intention to explore more of the world building for the @stareaterau
Which will be updated periodically, (as in when the artist(me) has the time to draw for details haha)
This blog is written in character of one of the stareater cast. If you have any questions and concerns about the au itself go to @skimmeh or @kairamuwu as we are the head writers of this au and story.
That being said you can ask this blog stuff, and if the question makes sense for the character to answer, she will. Thanks for reading!!!///
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In a hub lives au, what kind.of hijinks would Rockman pull to get Megaman & Roll together?
Weeeeeeell I'm actually kinda not sure about the whole MegaRoll stuff in the Hub Lives AU
Mostly because this is not the same Megaman as in canon
I guess technically it would be the same dynamic since this Megaman is still modeled after Hub but idk I have this weird hang-up about it
They're very friendly with each other and have mutual respect for one another, so if there is ship tease it's on the lighter side
On the other spectrum, I picture Rock and Roll's dynamic to be like Ann and Ryuji's from P5. They're friends and they will hang out with each other, but they also get on each other's nerves and will often argue (Hub will often berate Rock and tell him he needs to be nicer to ladies and Rock's response is, "I don't see any ladies around here," before getting hit by Roll Flash fdjkds)
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bonefall · 6 months
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are there any differences when it comes to starclan worship and beliefs among the clans? considering how you’re taking a christian-flavored approach to their religion, there’s gotta’ve been some kind of “great schism” or “protestant reformation” religious discourse. especially when it comes to wind “we-sleep-under-the-stars” clan and sky “gone-for-the-past-50-years” clan
The most significant difference is between SkyClan and Forest Four worship. Between the four, it's mostly superficial ritual differences.
Traditional Forest Four religion is centralized. Clerics are both healers and religious leaders. There is a stricter concept of both blasphemy and dark magic that discourages personal worship of StarClan, so when you're given a strange dream or omen, you are supposed to bring it to your Cleric to interpret it.
By contrast, SkyClan has lived several generations on the lam. The closest thing to a Cleric they had was the Hub like Skywatcher, who was more of an "official networking expert" than anything. The Leader is the strongest spiritual authority and a Cleric is more of a doctor than a priest, so SkyClan cats nurture a more personal connection to Skypelt than Forest Four do with Silverpelt.
SkyClan's practices do not sit well with Forest Four. It's no wonder they have a demon like Brokenstar in their pantheon. Heretics, the lot of them.
As for Forest Four...
ShadowClan will surprise you with how pious they are. They have a deep connection to the Dark Forest with Ripplestar, Brokenstar, and Tigerstar in their recent past, so they fear the influence of demons more than other Clans.
So, their warding rituals also tend to be the best, and they're the most vocal about blasphemy. Clan cat AU of The Exorcist would have the priest come from ShadowClan.
WindClan is loud. The wind howls and so do they. They sing songs, chant as groups, and act notably performative about their piety. Visiting the Cleric regularly is a social expectation-- else you must be hiding something!
They have this practice of "counting their blessings," (Clanmew: "Pos shayu shai Laalha; For starlight I-lather") which basically means they like to point out the blessings StarClan has given WindClan. Usually this has to do with glowworms, an abundance of snails or rain, shiny things in general, a bountiful hunting week, etc.
ThunderClan does a lot of honoring. Sacrifices, dances, feasts. They have the most productive territory and make use of that. You'd think they'd get along with WindClan best, but they both find the other insufferable lmao
Leaftail: "bunch of shineless tailtasters over there-- they think they can just EAT FOOD and that means they're devoted to StarClan? I do that ANYWAY."
Shellfur: "maybe if they ate some more food over there they wouldn't have to visit their Cleric every 3 days. Your stomach growling isn't an omen bitch you just don't partake in StarClan's earthly delights."
Leaftail: "RICH coming from a TUNNELBUN BITER"
Shellfur: "MAAAAAAD that I eat YOUR food BETTER THAN YOU"
"SHUT UP"
"AND IM DATING YOUR COUSIN AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT"
And, lastly, RiverClan.
They take things slow and try to recognize the blessings present in their world. When something is acknowledged as having "personhood" in Clanmew, it's given a warrior name. RiverClan gives a lot of things warrior names.
They have a lot more rituals than other Clans, but they're little ones. Superstitions, really. Like saying prayers before meals, putting an intentional flaw in their crafts, throwing every 5th fish of a hunting patrol back in the river. Stuff like that.
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bucknastysbabe · 5 months
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Rating: Explicit
Tags: Modern!AU, Pseudo-Incest, hightowgaryen reader, stepdad Criston, sexual tension, infidelity, family holiday shenanigans, Daeron erasure? Not in my house, age gap undisclosed but she’s above 18, pnv!sex, ye olde $qu1rt, the father who stepped up amirite, Aegon Is Tired, daddy kink, happy holidays!
A/N: totally didn’t beta but just went back over to fix some things
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The addition of Criston to your household wasn’t necessarily a big change. He’d always been around, a family friend, dutiful guard, more of a father since your own was sickly and preferred his first child and her offspring. The man was there for most of the hardest moments of life, him and grandpa stepping in. He handled the boys, Otto a doting grandparent for you and Helaena. Alicent always just tried her best, neurotic as she may be.
They were married by the time you and two of your siblings had moved out. Aegon had been back home, fresh outta treatment and raw. Daeron was a junior in highschool. It seemed to be a marriage of convenience after your father died. Someone to support and guide the boys with fatherly love, keep things in array.
The wedding was quick and short, no hub-bub, no Rhaenyra or her family. A sharp snub but…what was new?
You hadn’t been home since he moved in. The ancestral home was monstrous, you wouldn’t have to see anyone if you so desired. But holidays were here and your finals were over. A long flight from your study abroad program in Yi-Ti’s capital would be rather horrid. While you centered on foreign affairs, Helaena was studying entomology and Aemond soon to be a forensic medical examiner.
There was always pressure to be the best— Aegon cracked wide open his freshman year. The rest of you had your own little chips and hairline fractures. Maybe not Daeron, the cheerful fellow. He was rapidly advancing to be on a professional football team at the mere age of 17.
You didn’t expect what it would be like at home for the Feast Day of the Father. Supposedly a cheery time, all the servants decorating the manor with garlands and shiny lights, a large ironwood in the foyer. Blue winter roses bloomed and bowls of smokeberry sat around. You couldn’t make it for the Harvest Festival as Yi-Ti didn’t celebrate that, luckily you were now on a school break. The memories of the past Feast Day were more unpleasant than anything.
Criston was to pick you up from the Airport outside of King’s Landing. You felt strange. He was a bit distant with you. Helaena too, but Aemond and Otto seemed to be the only ones she would open up with. Sometimes with you, mainly about her bugs.
You’d always held a childish affection for Criston. A shiver of embarrassment and goosebumps erupted on your arms at a memory. You were young, thirteen maybe? You’d gotten your period and the beginning of breasts. It was the Maiden’s day and you wore the prettiest white dress, hair and makeup done. Batting your eyes and blushing when Cole complimented, “A proper young lady, you look beautiful.”
You seethed with jealousy the rest of the evening, the Dornishman surrounded by maidens, holding young Daeron in his lap. Sharing a dance with Alicent and little Baela. Until a shadow loomed and his lips curled as he asked gently, “C’mon princess, you get a dance too.” You laid your head against his chest, pretending the dear family friend was your boyfriend.
Then it was over and that was that. Criston distanced himself further. Thinking about how you pressed yourself to his bigger body made you pinch the bridge of your nose. Now he was married to your mother. Hopefully Cole didn’t remember. Aegon sure had a field day, the prat.
You nodded off for the long flight, stopping over in Tyrosh before the arrival in King’s Landing. The familiar city line and bay gave a sense of nostalgia. The Red Keep no longer belonged to any royals so the Targaryen’s relocated to Summerhall and Dragonstone. Summerhall being Alicent’s home, while your half-sister lived on Dragonstone.
Jet lag was already setting in. Yi-Ti was many time zones ahead of Westeros. Grabbing your carry-on and other trunk of clothes and gifts you went to the usual terminal. As you hunched standing around others, shivering in the chilly air, a sleek SUV pulled up.
Just in time, some royal fanatics were beginning to notice a Princess in the midst. Criston ushered you into the car, quickly packing away the bags. Once climbing into the automobile he hummed, “Pack rocks in there? Good to see you princess, you look well.”
“Yi-Ti has wondrous gifts, I figured I would get some for the family. How’s Aegon?” The gold band around his left hand shone against the street lights. Criston’s mouth twitched, thinking over his words. He deadpanned, “Slow. He goes to meetings and such but is not having a good time at home. Alicent won’t let him back to school until he gets a year of sobriety. He’s working.”
You snorted, “Aegon, working? Wow.”
Criston rolled his eyes, offering a lopsided smirk. Your stomach fluttered a bit. He drummed on the steering wheel, questioning, “How is it out in Yin?” The fact he even knew the capital made you smile. You couldn’t help but gush, “Oh if I didn’t study the customs before I would’ve been laughed out. They’re a very complex society. I’m now fluent since living there. Very kind people, although a bit stingy.”
Criston let you babble about your foreign excursion, occasionally asking a question. He’d always been recognized as a good listener. Somewhere in your detailing of the history and the issues with Leng— sleep came back. Summerhall wasn’t a short distance.
The vague memory of being carried and shushed by pretty lips and a low timbre accompanied your strange dreams. You’d slumber deeply for the rest of the night.
Apparently morning too, jerking up at 2PM to speed shower off the airport grime and make yourself presentable for the family. Hustling down the stairs the smell of something cooking hit your senses— you didn’t realize how hungry you were.
Daeron was hovering in the kitchen while Criston cooked up some sort of stir fry, looking domestically lovely. Seven above, you needed to stop. Daeron did a double take and hugged you with a cheer, lanky arms holding suprising strength.
“Sister! I’m so glad you could make it, about damn time!” You hugged the baby of the family tightly, chuckling, “You try living across the world, jeez let me down! Daeron! I swear you grow a foot every time I see you.” Criston peered back to smile before returning to the task at hand.
You eyed your baby brother, chiding, “Looking ever the athlete. What are they pumping you with? HGH?”
He scoffed and flexed his legs, “No, simply protein shakes and plenty of exercise. Braavos FC is showing interest but mother wants me to go to school.”
“Do what you want Dare, not like everyone gets the chance to go professional,” you looked around, ”where is everyone by the way?”
Criston interrupted, “Aegon will roust eventually, your mother is working, Aemond in the library, and I think Hel is in the gardens with Otto. They’ll come around, I’m almost done- why don’t you two sit down I’ll fix some plates.”
The pair of you shrugged and did so, chattering about this and that. Aegon shuffled in, looking much healthier, but hair a mess and his clothes ill-fitting. He grumbled, pulling down a tight jumper, “I know I’m fat- piss off sis.”
“Well hello to you too big brother,” you laughed.
He huffed and hugged your seated form, a rare gesture from Aeg. He grabbed a soda and plopped down, yawning. Propping a chubby cheek on his hand, he complained about being out in the middle of nowhere and the irritable retail job he had.
Daeron began to chuckle. Aegon glared his way, mouthing something. You interjected, “What am I missing here?” Aemond’s stern voice filled the awkward silence, “Dear Aegon works at a lingerie store.”
“Women’s intimate apparel,” Aegon droned.
You guffawed, totally not surprised, the damn hound. Aeg muttered, “It’s more returns and angry old ladies asking about hosiery than a babe. Enough about me. Criston you done yet?”
Aemond, ever the prick, “Hope you made extra.”
Criston was in fact done now, placing the big bowl in the middle of the table, returning with some sauces and a side of Leng slaw. You blushed a bit and asked, “A street favorite in Yin, make this for me Criston?” All shades of purple eyes turned to the step-father.
His own olive cheeks darkened and he waved it off, “Just in case you missed the place.”
Lunch was eaten amicably besides Aegon and Daeron fighting over the last servings. To which Aemond snatched to bowl up for Otto and Helaena, informing Aegon he needs a diet. The eldest bristled, “I can’t help I’m always craving shit! I’m clean and sober, be happy about that!”
Things were escalating before Criston shut down the argument, dismissing everyone. You patted the dismal Aegon and softly uttered, “I’m proud of you Aeg.” He offered a brisk smile and stomped outside to light up a cigarette. You took the task of helping your step-father clean up.
It was a bit quiet, water running and dishes clanking. You almost bit your cheek bloody before blurting, “How has it been for you? A big adjustment, marrying into a bunch of loons.” He stared down at his hands scrubbing the plate, lips working around a response again.
“It’s alright. Quiet. Formal. Nothing new I suppose. I didn’t think I’d enjoy all of you back like I did. Brings some life around the place besides Alicent being a workaholic and Aegon moping. I’m a glorified house-husband.”
His dark eyes grew wide. Criston spluttered, “I- I don’t know why I said that. Father forgive me, that was rude.” His calloused hands scrubbed harder at the plate until you thought he might break it.
Grabbing a strong wrist, he jerked his pretty face to your own, panic poorly hidden. You stroked the softer skin on the inside of his wrist and murmured softly, “I know how mom gets. Your secret is safe with me.” You padded away, the man seeming stunned.
You’d go outside to catch some air, feeling a bit lightheaded and guilty getting in your step-father’s space like that. His little admittance was a surprise yet not. Criston was career military, before becoming the head of Royal Guard under Viserys. Rhaenyra dismissed him upon her assent and then he soon married mother.
You had expected less of a strain between the two, they had an obvious lack of chemistry, chaste kisses. Your mother picked up a lot of royal duties still, off working and traveling. Leaving poor Cole alone. Once again you needed to stop. Thoughts began to slip between the cracks.
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Aegon was out with his sobriety sponsor for the night. The wine flowed while he was gone. You’d finally gotten hugs and warm welcomes from Hel, Grandpa, and Mom. It was just family, smiling and giddy off the taste testing mother ordered. Even young Daeron was giggly and pink cheeked.
Aemond indulged slightly— the most you got was a looser tongue. Everyone shared stories around the crackling fire, laughing. Your own head was pleasantly swimmy, nestled next to your older sister. She seemed to be in the present for now.
Alicent and Criston shared the love seat, his long arm around around her perfectly postured shoulders. You kept making eye contact with him, blushing and looking away. Why was he staring? You launched into a story about Aegon trying to drunkenly ride a mule at the Crownlands Fair.
That seemed to release a barrage of other Aegon tales, making your sides hurt with laughter. Even a couple of Aemond’s sharp witted barbs at the few full Targaryen gatherings were discussed. The middle brother smirked and snorted, rolling his good eye.
It went on until everyone was either sleepy or borderline too drunk to continue. Your heart felt full, escorting Daeron’s drunk self back to his room. He mumbled with a goofy grin, “I love when you all come home, so much happier.” Tucking him in and grabbing a water out of his mini fridge, you made the teen swallow.
“What do you mean?”
“I dunno’ Aeg’s cranky, mom’s always gone,” he stopped and poorly whispered with wide eyes, “Mom and Criston don’t sleep in the same room.” Patting your brother on the head you gently scolded, “Don’t repeat that, take your meds and drink some water, night night Dare. Love you.”
“Love youuuuu, sorrryyyy.”
Quietly exiting his room you turned down the drafty hallway to meet the familiar dark pools of Criston’s eyes. He stared intensely, you peering back, an unknown force stalling you two. Eventually you padded to him, a little wobbly from the wine. He wasn’t quite sober either, faint Dornish accent lilting his voice toward the end of the night.
He licked his lips, still quiet. You peered upwards, the man towering over you this close. Your heart was beating rapidly, frantic feelings arising after Daeron’s admission. You whispered, “How long?”
He knew, blowing out a sigh.
“Eight months or so. I love your mother, alright dear?” His tone was wavering, weak, as if he was convincing himself. You stepped closer, enough to smell the sweet red on his carved lips. He inhaled sharply, hands balling at his sides.
“Why were you staring at me all night?”
“I could ask the same.”
He looked away, running a big hand through dark curls. Criston muttered, more to himself, “I can’t, not again.” Nodding in affirmation you stated, “You’re right, this is wrong. Good night Criston.” Pain bloomed in your chest turning away. Taking two strides a warm hand tugged your wrist, you biting back a squeak as the man maneuvered you into the wall.
He breathed, “We’re drunk. What is it with you Targaryens?” His warm forehead pressed against your own, hands secured around your waist. A whimper bubbled up from your throat, his warm body caging you in, impossibly toned thigh slotted between your own.
“Just kiss me, I’ve dreamt about this since I was thirteen.”
He groaned, seizing your waiting lips, gently kissing in measured movements. You arched into his hard frame, arms wrapping up around broad shoulders, fingers tickling at brown curls. Criston tilted his head, feeling his way in with sensual little laps. Opening for the elder you met his probing tongue, dancing slowly together as your lips smacked.
His huge hands came down to your ass, slipping under the skirt to hoist you further onto his hard thigh. You mewled again, Criston shushing with another kiss. He whispered into your ear, “Be quiet, hm? Bad enough as is.”
He returned to taking your mouth, quite enjoying the sloppy kisses. You shivered and he eagerly swallowed any noises, dragging your cunt across his thigh easily, aided by your bucking hips. The friction against your clit was sending you into a tizzy. Criston had to reluctantly place his hand over your mouth to muffle helpless whimpers.
He chuckled, “You sound so pretty, lovely, gods.” Instead he laid plush kisses down your sensitive neck and collarbones, humming in delight. You were sweating and drooling, climax quickly reaching an apex, wetness smearing all over Cole’s thigh.
Chest heaving and thighs twitching he ordered, “Now, come my lovely, come for your step-father.” Step-father? You gasped behind his palm, shivering and stiffening as your overstimulated pussy soaked through thin panties onto Criston’s thigh. He eased you down, bright teeth glinting in the low light.
You felt tears welling up, wiping at them aggressively. Nothing new, stepping on a bug made you cry. Certainly nothing to do with never having this again. No. The Dornishman seemed concerned, dark brows pinching.
“C’mon, I’ll walk you back,” he more or less ordered, hoisting you up bridal style. You sniffled, “Sorry, always do that after a good orgasm.” He scoffed, “Sure sweet girl. I’ll take care of you, no tears. Not like anyone pays attention, heads so far into their own asses.”
He gently placed you down, helping aid the still tipsy debacle of undressing and changing. A large shirt and panties would do. You climbed ungracefully into the bed, snuggling under the thick covers. Criston sat on the end of the bed, palm on your ankle.
“Are you leaving?”
He gave a sad smile, “I’m afraid so. I’m just down the hall.”
“Would you do this sober?”
He squeezed your leg, voice lowering, “It would’ve happened before you headed off I think. No one has paid me much attention in a while. You always seemed to idolize me, now I’m an old man fucking around with the girl he watched grow up.”
“I don’t care. When mom leaves again I want to fuck you.”
Criston rolled his eyes, “Now you’re drunk talking.”
“I mean it. I want you to fuck me. What they don’t know doesn’t hurt. Make me cum on your cock.”
Criston groaned, “Stop it or I’ll take you right now little princess. We’ll see.”
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It wasn’t long before the elder man had you bent over his bed, strong hips snapping into your weeping pussy. One hand pushed your back into an arch, the other pinching your sensitive nub. You slobbered and bit into the pillow, rubbing your tits into the rough fabric of the bed.
He panted, “Gorgeous girl, sucking me in, you wanted this huh?”
The rest of the family was out for lunch. You feigned illness, Criston offering to watch. No one batted an eye. Wasn’t long before he picked you up and snarled his intentions.
He smacked your ass, you keening, “Yesss- fuck yes— don’t stop! M’gonna come!”
Then tanned man plastered himself to your tinier frame, biting gently on your shoulder, muttering dirty little secrets. He roughly grabbed your jaw to get at your lips, fingers still maddeningly swirling around your engorged bud. He rasped, desperation tinging his tone, “Me too, mmfuckk, my perfect princess, gods!”
He swallowed up your wailing cry, body covering your own, like the man would envelop you if he could. He jerked your hips a weird way, you choking on your spit as his cock jammed into that sensitive ridged patch. Whining his name, heat and a strange sensation lit up between your legs, gushing helplessly onto the bed and the man’s cock.
Criston sounded like he’d died, groaning raggedly, cumming into his condom with a few more sloppy pumps, thighs trembling too. You fell forward, your step-father rolling right beside, chest quickly rising and falling. He managed, “I made you squirt.”
You nodded jerkily, moving weak limbs to curl into his perfect body. “That you did, daddy,” came the breathless reply. He grinned like a boy, smacking your thigh playfully, dark eyes sparkling. Criston laughed, “You need to watch yourself or I’ll eat your pretty cunt until you learn to watch your mouth.”
Stretching lazily you sighed, “That sounds like a good idea to me. I guess it’s good I’ll be hobbling around, they won’t realize I’ve had the daylights fucked out of me.” Criston twisted to give you a peck on the cheek, getting up to dispose of the condom. He called back, “Perfect, I love nursemaid duty.”
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sl-vega · 1 month
Text
meet the crew!-introducing: the fans
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beidou-owner of the CRUX music store/live house, and your second mom. She opened up the shop when you were seven, and since then, the two of you have been inseparable. She's C✧LESTIA's biggest supporter and the CRUX is your go-to venue for gigs. Despite the live house being small, it's gained a small following of loyal fans and customers. With it's charm and feel-good vibes, Beidou is proud to say that's she's the captain.
jean-owner of the Favonius live house and an agent for the WINDBLUME talent agency. 5WIRL usually practices and preforms at Favonius, and Jean has already made some offers to some of the members (mainly Venti and Scaramouche.)
nahida-scara's neighbour and honourary older sister. She may be young, but she's incredibly intelligent. Everyone in 5WIRL adores her and she's their #1 fan, (Aether says that she could easily be their manager if something bad happened to him). Nahida is one of the few people that Scaramouche has let close to his heart (yes he actually has one, shocker)
charlotte-a fellow classmate of yours, and editor of the school's newspaper. Charlotte's a journalist and a photographer, and she hopes to go pro one day. She's already scored an internship with the Steambird, a well-known newspaper, and she's already got some job offers as a photographer for semi-famous fashion companies. When she's not trying to make a name for herself in the world of journalism, she's taking photos of C✧LESTIA and 5WIRL.
yae miko-a famous model and a family friend of Scara's. Miko models for his mother's cosmetics company, which Scaramouche hates because he already has to see her enough at home, now her face is plastered over every ad he sees.
raiden ei-scaramouche's mother (though he prefers the term "legal gaurdian") and the CEO of Raiden Cosmetics, a successful make-up and fashion company. Her twin sister, Makoto, was once that CEO, but due to her unfortunate passing, Ei had to take over.
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additional notes:
-FINAL PROFILES OUT
-I CAN START THE PLOT YOU GUYS
-i don't wanna say anything else cuz i might spoil some things
-but i'll give you a little hint of what's to come:
-mommy issues
-yeah that should be self-explanatory
-i kid you not i forgot what a live house was while i was typing this
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masterlist
<prev ll next>
Pairing: [BASSIST!] Scaramouche x [GUITARIST!] Reader
Genre: rivals/enemies to lovers, rivals to friends to lovers, fluff, crack (?), comedy, angst (?), slowburn, high school au, band au, modern au, social media au, smau
Synopsis: You're the lead guitarist for your band, C✧LESTIA and Scaramouche is the bassist of 5WIRL. The two of your bands have a friendly rivalry, but you and Scaramouche don't. On top of being academic rivals, you and him have never been on good terms. Always one-upping each other in grades and in music. Even your bandmates have grown tired of your constant bickering with each other. But when your usual practice hub gets flooded, you and the rest of C✧LESTIA are forced to find a new place to rehearse. So when 5WIRL offers to share their studio with you who are you to refuse? Of course, this forces you to spend time with your sworn rival whether you like it or not. But maybe the two of you can overcome your differences and actually be friends?
Or maybe even more?
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(OPEN) TAGLIST: @featuredtofu, @levianamor, @danfelions, @thatoneswordgirl, @lolmeowing, @bananasquash, @xiaosantenna, @glxssmemories, @kaitfae, @mujiwuji, @peaceindreams, @freyao7, @rinquinq, @justpeachyteastea, @ladyninggs, @b2ne, @skyoverkill1, @scaradooche, @morallyrainyday, @adres-tia, @justadvena6, @agaygothicmushroom, @huanator, @seaofdata, @kyon-cherri, @aether-darling, @ukinya, @sketcheeee, @ibawa, @shutingstar, @eutopiastar, @kunimix, @wonderful-worlds, @ectomotive, @yourfavoritefreakyhan
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eoieopda · 5 months
Text
FORCE QUIT // EPISODE II: THE PROFESSOR
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until now, hyunjin's never met a problem that subterfuge and violence couldn't solve.
pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader | series masterlist (2/4) | prev. episode | next episode series summary: it's 2077, and life's a fucking nightmare. corporate titans ate the state and shat it back out, leaving citizens of the new republic to fall in line or fall to their knees. a reckoning is coming — where will you fall? au: series — dystopian, cyberpunk; episode — secret relationship, star-crossed lovers ➢insp. by: cyberpunk 2077 + the true lives of the fabulous killjoys genre: angst + smut word count: 10.6k rating: 18+ — minors do not have my consent to interact. series warnings: violence (hand-to-hand, firearms, explosives), depictions of injuries (blood/bruising/burns), some characters have cybernetic modifications, class conflict + poverty, surprise - corporations are bad!, unethical medical/tech experimentation, self-indulgent references to non-skz idols, reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns. episode: above + recon!hyunjin, corporate defector!reader, hyunjin’s pov, minor time skips, reader has had cybernetic modifications (similar to plastic surgery + prosthesis) to change her appearance, reader’s current and prior hair/eye colors are described but they’re artificial(!!), reader is a fugitive, reader is smaller than hyunjin and can be/is lifted by him, hyunjin is a Charmer™️, shower sex, brief nipple play + fingering, implied unprotected p in v penetration. a/n 1: each episode features a different member x reader pairing, but the plot is linear, so you'd need to read them (in order) to get the full picture! you can sign up for the taglist to be notified of the next uploads. thank you to my beloved @sailoryooons for beta'ing this and @jihopesjoint for being my emotional support internet wife even though she doesn't stan skz. ily both endlessly! a/n 2: the smut isn’t long or particularly explicit because the plot is more important, sorry!
One of Hyunjin’s earliest memories is of his halmoni looking him dead in the face and calling him a phantom. 
Cruel as it may have been, the superstition was justified. Even as a kid, Hyunjin existed in blind spots, floating through walls and picking up on all the whispers he was never supposed to hear. Never seen or spoken to, he was ever-present, nonetheless; and worse than that, he was seemingly omniscient, too. 
Who the fuck wouldn’t be afraid of him?
Funnily enough, his halmoni is now the one haunting him. Careening into his late twenties, Hyunjin can still hear the slight rasp of her voice echoing in his ears, reminding him that he’s still stuck beyond some fucking veil. He may have the same beating heart and a pair of operable lungs he’s always had, but biology doesn’t change the facts.
For all intents and purposes, Hwang Hyunjin is a ghost.
As is usually the case, Hyunjin stands unnoticed in the doorway of the Hub with his expectant arms crossed. His gaze alternates between the face of his watch and that of Bang Chan, who sits completely unaware at his desk on the opposite side of the room. This game is one that Hyunjin’s been playing for years now, as sad as that is.
How long can he exist in plain sight without anybody plainly seeing him?
At least twelve minutes and seven seconds, according to his watch. 
In all the time that his reconnaissance man’s been standing there, anticipating a reason for being summoned in the first place, Chan hasn’t looked up once. Whatever he’s preoccupied with involves furiously typing away at the screen in front of him and continuing to ignore the untouched coffee near his elbow. Like this meeting, that room-temperature Americano seems to be on the list of things Chan can’t find space for in his short-term memory. 
It’s for the best, really. 
Chan’s stress is baked into his hunched posture, and it’s so palpable that Hyunjin can feel it from the doorway. Adding caffeine to his system now may make him implode, setting off some cataclysm that can’t be stopped. That’s not a loss the Black Screen is capable of surviving, now or ever. And frankly, Hyunjin is maxed out on hauntings as it is.
Speaking of…
He glances down at his watch again, confirming that two more minutes have slipped by in silence. Though he’d love to see an organic end to his game, Hyunjin doesn’t have all night. With a forlorn sigh, he frowns and quips, “Maybe I should wear a bell.”
The Black Screen’s de facto leader all but jumps out of his skin, which is a reaction Hyunjin may never get tired of. There are a million practical benefits to his incomparable stealth, but this is far and away the best of them: scaring the piss out of people simply because he can.
To his credit, Chan doesn’t get angry the way most people do when they’re caught off-guard. His panic leaves him quickly, giving way to the patient smile he always manages to find. That expression is a wonder, as far as Hyunjin is concerned, given the massive burden Chan has undertaken at such a young age. It’s the sort of demeanor that Hyunjin’s only ever seen on overworked single fathers and, in a way, Chan is. 
Except instead of adoring kids, he’s got a battalion of strays with a collective death wish, a severe caffeine dependency, and prematurely grey hairs popping up at his temples.
Pity.
“That’d kind of defeat the point, wouldn’t it?” Chan rubs his hand sheepishly over the nape of his neck to cover his embarrassment. As he does, he chuckles, “You’re an asset because you’re so fucking difficult to keep track of.”
Hyunjin appreciates the acknowledgment — he is an asset — but he’s never been good at accepting praise, so he merely shrugs and removes his frame from the door’s.
Crossing now to the disaster Chan calls a workspace, Hyunjin can’t help but marvel at the changes the room has undergone in just a few short years. It’s still hideous, having been a foreman’s office in a past life, but their low-rent war room is finally starting to live up to its name. 
The Hub.
Mitochondria of their haphazard little cell.
Along the southernmost wall, the hastily boarded-up windows have since been formally blown out and built over by people actually qualified to handle the task — not by teenage anarchists wielding hammers, as was the case with the first attempt. In their place, various monitors take up the bulk of the surface area. Each one emits enough light to make the overhead fluorescents redundant, leaving them to go unused.
Hyunjin has to smother a laugh every time he glances between the two corners of that wall. One contains a station so immaculate that it feels illegal to glance at it with an unclear head. A fucking miracle, considering that it belongs to the most scatter-brained netrunner he’s ever met. Her various gadgets are meticulously stored and labeled, nary a wire out of place. 
Maybe, he thinks, Spider is compensating for all that internal chaos with external organization. 
The polar opposite occupies the other corner: Bang Chan’s stable mind and the goddamn mess of everything that feeds it. A fucking disaster belonging to the one person best equipped to prevent them.
If Hyunjin didn’t know to expect him there, he wouldn’t have seen Chan’s head peeking out from the certifiable mountain range of files. Schematics, dossiers, and maps clutter every surface to a suffocating degree, and yet there sits Chan, still breathing. Still typing away, as if the conversation they just had has already been deleted from his brain.
“You the only one keeping office hours these days?” Hyunjin wonders, gesturing vaguely to the quiet that threatens to swallow them.
Bang Chan’s scoff is the only indication Hyunjin gets that he was heard at all. It’s enough for him; the sound seems twice as loud without the others around to drown it out. To fill the void, he hums to himself, biding his time until he gets what he came for.
Wandering aimlessly around the room, his eyes trail over what little scenery he has left to take in — what would’ve constituted work stations, if the people they belonged to cared to use them. 
Next to Spider’s vast assortment of equipment sits Minho’s desk, although the only thing on said desk are his knife-carved initials, an empty bottle of soju, and a broken pair of brass knuckles. Directly across from his anarchy, there used to be stations for the Black Screens’ weapon-smith, Seungmin, and mechanic, Jeongin — but both scrapped their respective shit for spare parts, to no one’s surprise. The only hint of their former presence there is carpeting that’s been ripped to shit and a few screws, too stripped to be of any use.
Hyunjin picks up one of them as he passes, firing it off with his non-dominant hand towards the trash can several meters away. It lands with a thunk against the existing garbage. He glances again at Chan, who has swapped out typing for massaging his temples. As usual, Hyunjin’s scores go unseen.
“Been at it long?” Hyunjin asks. 
Chan actually looks up at him this time, blinking slowly while his brain catches up to the conversation. 
“That eye strain doesn’t normally hit you until the six-hour mark.”
Chan nods. There’s a small smile on his lips that looks appreciative —  like he’s grateful to be known so well. He gestures to the table at the center of the room and says, “Almost finished, man. You can sit if you want to.”
Table is a bit of a reach, Hyunjin thinks as he approaches it. That Formica monstrosity is held together by duct tape and sheer force of will. It’ll buckle if anyone around it blinks too forcefully. 
Despite how truly heinous it is, he has a soft spot for everything that broken piece of furniture represents: all-nighters spent huddled over plans to un-fuck a state they had no part in destroying, long-forgotten family meals — at tables far nicer than this — sacrificed for a calling that beckoned them to leave home and never look back. 
His own bed may be a stranger to him, but there’s a permanent imprint of his ass in his designated folding chair. It’s likely the closest thing to a home that he’ll ever know. When he lowers himself into it now, it groans under his weight despite him not weighing much at all. His arms cross nonchalantly and his legs do, too. 
If he’s going to keep waiting, he’s going to be comfortable.
And he does wait.
And waits, and waits, and waits —
“Sorry about that,” Chan states abruptly, several minutes later. 
Unlike Chan, Hyunjin isn’t easily surprised. He doesn’t flinch at the sudden sound of Chan’s voice. He waves dismissively instead, knowing full well that the leader wouldn’t waste his time on purpose. With a quick nod towards the chair at the head of the table, he invites Chan to join him; but Chan shakes his head, opting to stand nearby as he stretches his arms overhead. 
Yawning through his words, he attempts to explain, “Been sitting all fucking day. My back is killing me.”
“Did you eat?” Hyunjin asks, catching the eldest off-guard once again. 
The only response he gets is a grimace, so he reaches into the pocket of his jacket for the dalgona he managed to get his hands on. It only breaks his heart a little bit to toss it over to Chan, who lights up like a roman candle the second he sees it.
It’s always the little reminders of home that hit the hardest, isn’t it?
Chan rips open the packet the moment he catches it and freezes when the plastic wrapping no longer obstructs his view. There’s no humor to be found in his dry laugh, and Hyunjin understands why that is as soon as Chan holds up the snack. Dead center, there’s an outline of an umbrella pressed into the toffee. 
“Speaking of Ulsan…” Chan sighs, all joy extinguished. Snapping it clean in half, he tosses a portion back to Hyunjin, who’s eager to sink his teeth into it for more reasons than one. Through his own mouthful, Chan mumbles, “Have you picked up any intel on this trial they’re running? I can’t even find a name —”
Hyunjin interrupts with a nod. “The Bliss Beta.”
His tone is casual because this shit is old news by now. More than that, he doesn’t want Chan to burn energy he doesn’t have on a spiral he doesn’t need to make. Someday, people will finally realize that Hyunjin is ten steps ahead of them. 
Today, unfortunately, is not that day.
Chan simply gawks at him.
“I swung by Scraps’ apartment building last week to grab her shit, and I heard some drunks talking about it on the sidewalk outside,” Hyunjin states with a shrug. “I nicked a flier from one of their pockets on my way back here.”
“You know, you could’ve just talked to them,” Chan frowns disapprovingly. “You catch more flies with honey, or whatever.”
Leave it to Bang Chan to whine about prosocial behavior when he’s barely left the factory at any point in the ten years they’ve been holed up inside it. 
Effectively a recluse, the only two people he’s spoken to outside of the Black Screen — Felix, a decade ago, and Changbin, most recently — were mere seconds away from joining up. And if that isn’t enough to disqualify his hot take, Hyunjin would like to note for the record that Chan founded — and actively leads — what’s been deemed a “terrorist organization” by the general public. 
That has fuck all to do with honey — just subterfuge, violence, and a dream.
Hyunjin rolls his eyes but keeps the bulk of his exasperation to himself. After all, calling Chan a hypocrite won’t make him get to the point any faster. 
“Eavesdropping got me nowhere. I’m not sure what I could’ve possibly gained from inhaling that liquor off their breath beyond a drunk and disorderly of my own.” 
Before Chan can get a word in, Hyunjin continues his report. 
“They’re marketing this beta exclusively in low-income neighborhoods, but there’s no indication of what these people are signing up for — only the amount of cash they’ll get if they consent to participate in the R&D.”
“So, we still don’t know what we’re dealing with,” Chan mutters dejectedly. 
He stares off to the side as the gears in his brain turn; however, he doesn’t stay stuck for long. In a matter of moments, he begins to pace the length of the table, getting more worked up with every step. “Spider said their tech is a brick wall. It’s going to take a while for her to break through, if she even can.”
Hyunjin means it, so he says it with his whole chest: “She can.”
In the time he’s known her, Spider hasn’t met a code she can’t break. No person has ever been successful in keeping her out — up to and including Lee Minho, who has a cement-lined sarcophagus where his heart should be. If she doesn’t find a crack to slip through, she’ll fucking make one. She always does.
Trust like this is hard to come by in the life they’ve all chosen, but she’s earned Hyunjin’s. 
She deserves Chan’s, too.
Brow furrowed, Chan looks back at Hyunjin. There’s something in his expression that he’s attempting to keep to himself — something he’s not allowing himself to say. Whatever he’s withholding, the fact that he’s concealing anything makes the hair on the back of Hyunjin’s neck stand up. A long, tense pause fills the space between them. 
Hyunjin knows it’s hypocritical, getting frustrated by someone else’s refusal to open up. Someone who plays everything close to the chest shouldn’t be allowed to hate it when others do the same around him; but he does, and he’s seconds away from demanding that Chan spit it out already.
Chan must see it coming, so he intervenes to keep the younger man’s annoyance from boiling over. Gently lowering the temperature, he asks, “Hyunjin, do you have any contacts on the inside?”
The fact that Chan’s asking at all tells Hyunjin that the answer is already known. 
Still, the head of reconnaissance looks his leader dead in the eye and responds flatly, without hesitation.
“No.”
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Hyunjin is only ever able to make his way to you in the dead of night. 
Though the location frequently changes, the preparation never does. He lays awake until he knows for sure that the rest of the compound is down for the night. When all he hears is snoring, he drags himself out of the bed he can never seem to sleep in. 
Once he’s on his feet, whatever he’s wearing is quickly replaced with something that won’t stick out: nondescript black clothing, shoes with the tread and size label worn down beyond recognition, hood up, mask on.
You once joked that he looked like a jewel thief, all shrouded in darkness, and you were sort of right. Unfortunately for Hyunjin, there’s a fatal flaw in that comparison. He has to leave his prize behind every single time, doomed to return home empty-handed.
Tonight won’t be any different.
The front door rattles too loudly for his liking, creates a risk of questions being asked that he doesn’t want to answer, so Hyunjin utilizes the fire escape that abuts the westernmost wall of the factory. The late October air has left the metal rungs of that ladder so cold that they circle back to burning, but it doesn’t slow him down. Nothing ever does when it comes to you. 
If anything, the pain drives him to pick up the pace. Him and his stinging palms make short work of the obstacle. Just as quickly, he hits the ground running towards the freestanding garage that sits to the east of the factory. Once he reaches it, panting slightly, he sets to work, going through the same old motions.
It doesn’t take long for Hyunjin to swap out his motorcycle’s license plate. He’s done it so many times by now that the task no longer requires conscious thought; just muscle memory and the desperation he feels to move as quickly as possible in order to reach you faster. The old plate hits the floor with a clang that’s still ringing out when he finishes affixing the new series of numbers to the back of his bike.
All these precautions are tedious bullshit, but failing to go through the motions is a surefire way to get the attention of private police. Simply put, Hyunjin doesn’t have the spare energy it would take to kill and bury whichever poor fucker attempts to cite him; nor does he have the heart to keep you waiting even longer than you have been.
Fuck. 
How long has it been?
Suddenly rushing, he slings one, lean leg over the side of his bike and grabs the handlebars.
Too long.
The terrain is a thousand times harder to navigate in the dark, all divots and ditches along the winding side roads. Still, the threat of losing control of his ride is far less severe than that of betraying the compound’s location; or worse, the Black Screen’s presence anywhere, at all.
So, like always, Hyunjin stomachs the barely-sufferable thrashing and keeps the headlamp off until he makes it to the main road. Even then, he flies a kilometer or so into pitch black before he feels comfortable enough to light the way.
He doesn’t know how many kilometers he’s driven in total just to keep you, but if he had to guess, he’s cracked quadruple digits.
Worth it.
You can’t stay in one place for long enough to put down roots. The time you do stay put varies, never following a pattern. Daegu for eight weeks, then to Anyang for three, Namyangju for five…
Busan, he thinks to himself as he reaches the expressway. 
Busan was the last place he held you, a month or so ago. Some shitty little apartment near the docks, where the ceiling leaked over your bed and made a fucking mess of things. Nothing could be done to fix it without calling too much attention to you, but it didn’t matter; he fucked you on the living room floor, and you slept like a baby against his chest, bed be damned.
He hasn’t felt rested since.
The drive from Changwon to Busan takes thirty-five minutes, if Hyunjin recalls correctly — he always does — and it burns him up to know that the trip would take half that time if he could drive as fast as his heart races. 
But he can’t. 
He won’t, not when a traffic stop could ruin both your lives. It feels like crawling, abiding by limits. 
And fuck, he’s sick to death of those.
As he drives, the rubble eventually gives way to a proper cityscape. The neon signs of Busan bleed out into the dark, so hazy in the smog that the words themselves are lost. It’s only color — sharp reds and blues — not substance that offsets the inky black. The massive buildings that those signs are affixed to stab upwards into the sky until their tops disappear, like they don’t ever stop at all. 
Still, despite the seemingly endless interiors around him, Hyunjin sees houseless people everywhere he looks. It’d be more comfortable to look away as he winds down side streets to your last known location, but he doesn’t. Even though he has nothing else to give them, he can spare the courtesy of acknowledging that they exist. 
Nobody else does.
Every time he raises a hand off the handlebars to wave at someone, they wave right back. Just for a second, he forgets that the city isn’t always unkind. It’s a feeling he’d bottle if he could, the little glimmer of hope.
When Hyunjin reaches the docks, he parks his bike behind a boat house and heads on foot from there. Up the sidewalk, around the block to the back entrance to your apartment. The rational half of his brain knows you won’t still be there; the lovesick half doesn’t care. It signals his heart to beat faster with every step, damn close to breaking through his chest when he picks the lock and pushes the door open.
The four flights of stairs between him and your place are taken two steps at a time, not only due to his eagerness but the shitty construction. Even the steps he deems safe enough to touch creak beneath his weight, like they’re screaming at him for the intrusion. He ignores it, and soon enough, he’s outside your door.
This time, Hyunjin doesn’t need to pick the lock. Your door is open. Everything that used to be behind it is gone.
He presses his palm against the center of his chest, glances down, and mutters, “Told you so.”
With you and your few earthly possessions absent, he’s left to a scavenger hunt — finding some hint of where you’ve gone next. You’re far more creative than he is, which makes this part even harder. 
As bitter as the necessity makes him, he’s thankful for the amount of times he’s had to do it. Practice has made him the tiniest bit smarter. Now, he spots the empty bottle sitting on a windowsill, and he doesn’t immediately assume that it’s trash. 
Hyunjin jogs over to it and picks it up, grinning instantly. 
“Gyeongju beopju,” he murmurs as reads the label aloud. Then, knowing full fucking well that you can’t hear him, he says it anyway, “You beautiful genius.”
Only one question remains, and it’s the hardest one to solve: where in Gyeongju?
For good reason, you can’t leave an address floating around. That fact doesn’t appease the frustration creeping up from his stomach, transforming into a groan on its way out of his mouth. With an exasperated breath, he lets his hand drop, though he maintains his grip on the bottle. It’s damn near inaudible, but there’s a muffled sound within it as it jostles in his grip.
The fuck?
Seeing no other option, Hyunjin screws off the cap. On the inner part of that metal, he finds a strip of double-sided tape and nothing else; whatever you stuck to it must’ve been shaken loose. 
Beautiful, perfect genius. 
He tilts the bottle upside down with his free hand ready to catch what falls: a ripped-up piece of paper, rolled up like a scroll. There, written in your neat script, is a lead — 8793 & 2441, which he assumes designates the street address and apartment number. Directly below those, you’ve written “red”, which he doesn’t know what the fuck to make of.
One way or another, he’ll figure it out.
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The race to Gyeongju swallowed another hour of his time. Midway through the second leg of his never-ending journey, the sky opened up. Rain came down in sheets so strong that he almost gave up, which isn’t a decision he would’ve made lightly. He didn’t — thank god — because the downpour started to peter out around the time he crossed the city limits.
Now, idling off to the side of the road in the city’s center, he’s soaked and thoroughly chilled to the bone, but at least he can see. 
Capitalizing on his newly unobstructed vision, Hyunjin fishes his mobile out from the zippered pocket of his jacket. The leather glove adorning his right hand is shoved back into that empty space. He rapidly thumbs through applications, eyes scanning just as fast until he locates the navigation. To avoid any unwanted attention, he keeps the screen confined to the glass, rather than projecting it into the space in front of him.
A quick search through the city’s most recent map gives him three locations with “8793” as the street number. One possibility is ruled out immediately when he zooms in on the satellite image and finds a vacant lot. The two remaining results both appear to be high-rise apartment buildings, both of which could be this month’s pit stop. Notably, neither building is red, nor does the color feature in either of the street names.
“Shit,” he mutters to himself. 
Once again, he swaps his mobile and glove, then hastily stuffs his fingers back into the latter. With a sigh, he sinks back down onto his bike and makes to leave for the nearest of the two possibilities. It’s not until he reaches the intersection that the realization hits him.
You live your life on the outskirts. 
There’s simply no way that you’d pick a place so close to downtown.
Disregarding the blaring horns and shouted obscenities, he makes an illegal turn to reposition himself on the opposite side of the road. It’s for the best that no one he cut off can hear him laughing over the roar of his engine. All their rage is drowned out by the screech of his tires as he peels the fuck out of there.
Five more minutes slip away while he speeds off to the northeast side of town. Thankfully, when he locates what he presumes is your building, your final hint begins to make some fucking sense. 
Around the block sits a bar with boarded up windows, tiny fragments of glass still littering the sidewalk where a break-in must’ve occurred at some point in the recent past. On a hunch, Hyunjin looks up at the street lights framing the exterior of The Red Door. His suspicion is confirmed immediately.
The CCTV cameras covering the area were smashed to shit, along with the bar’s windows.
You were giving him a safe place to park. Damn near throwing his bike down in the process, he stumbles off to your building, muttering as he goes, “Beautiful, perfect, considerate genius.”
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Hyunjin ages forty years in the time it takes the elevator to drag him up to the twenty-fourth floor. 
When he finally steps out and the doors close again behind him, force of habit checks for any people or cameras that may have eyes on him. Finding none, he whirls back around to face the closed, metal doors behind him. Frozen fingers tug at the black, cloth mask that sits over his mouth and nose until his face is fully visible. 
It’s reckless and melodramatic — he’ll openly admit to being both of those things — but he needs to see it to believe that he still looks as young as he did when he entered the car in the first place. Oh, thank god. Drenched and windswept as he may be, he finds some amount of solace in the absence of wrinkles.
With the mask secured again over his features, he heads off in the direction of apartment 2441, praying to anyone listening that he didn’t fuck this all up along the way. His brain can’t hold a candle to yours; and this certainly wouldn’t be the first time that he got so caught up in thinking like you that he missed the mark completely.
After wandering down a hallway far fucking longer than it seems, he reaches the door he’s been seeking. Despite the anxious fluttering in his stomach, Hyunjin doesn’t hesitate; he immediately lifts his arm to grab hold of the knob. It pulls away before he can even wrap his hand around it, leaving him frozen on the doorstep with his pulse hammering in his ears.
Transfixed, he watches the splinter of light on the floor grow wider until his curiosity wins out. A quick glance upward reveals an occupant he’s never laid eyes on before, but he doesn’t have the opportunity to study them fully. Through the narrow gap, fingers far warmer than his own encircle his wrist and pull him through the opening. Behind him, the door closes again so quietly that his stumbling drowns out the sound.
Opting to ignore his surroundings for the time being, Hyunjin tilts his head curiously to the side and stares straight ahead. No matter how many times his gaze sweeps over the person in front of him, he finds absolutely nothing familiar. 
Not the irises, not the hair, not even the bone structure.
He arches an eyebrow. “Impressive timing, opening the door before anyone even knocks.”
“Were you planning on knocking?” His expression is reflected right back at him. “Since when is that a thing you do?”
Grinning wolfishly, he turns his wrist to capture the hand still holding onto him. All it takes is a gentle tug to eliminate the distance. As if it’s a reflex, two hands reach up to the mask obscuring the lower half of his face, carefully ushering the fabric down until it pools around his neck.
“How’d you know it was me?” He asks, genuinely curious. 
Nobody manages to notice him when he’s standing in the same room, let alone through a door with no peephole. His measured steps never make a sound, either, which makes it all the more insane that his presence was sensed before he intentionally gave himself away.
Arms loop around his neck and pull him closer as feet push up on tiptoe. 
“I could ask you the same question.”
Hyunjin’s answer — that he would know you anywhere, that he could find you in the dark with touch alone — is eerily close to the one he receives.
“A sixth sense,” you chirp. 
Though everything else about you has changed since he last saw you, that voice is the common denominator. It strikes a chord deep in his chest, plucking his heartstrings masterfully in a way only you can. The sound is so much better when it’s not looping hopelessly in his head; when it slips through lips finally close enough to kiss.
So, that’s exactly what he does.
There’s no word Hyunjin can think of to describe the desperation behind his movements — at least, not in any language he’s ever heard. He lifts and you jump, and your fingers are threading through his hair with an identical, insatiable need to be closer before your body even settles fully in his arms. Like your legs around his waist, your mouth opens up for him, sighing softly into his when your lips crash together.
He can hardly catch his breath, but he doesn’t give a shit. Air in his lungs isn’t worth half as much as your tongue licking into his mouth. Gripping the soft flesh of your thighs and letting your weight warm his palms is more than enough to keep him alive. Hyunjin clings to you, and it hits him then — so forceful and sudden that it almost knocks a tear loose:
He’s not a ghost when he’s with you.
Clinging to him as closely as you are, you notice the way he shivers. Every article of clothing on him is rain-drenched and chilled to the touch; his eagerness doesn’t make him tremble any less.
You break the kiss. A concerned frown takes his place on your lips. “Cold?”
He nods, bumping the tip of his nose against yours affectionately in the process, silently begging for you to kiss him again. You lean away and leave him no choice but to frown, too, albeit much less cutely than you.
You’re quick to soothe. You glance over your right shoulder towards a hallway he can’t see the end of. When you turn your head back around to him, a coy smile lights up the dark.
“A hot shower might help,” you suggest. You tilt your head to the side, as if there’s anything either of you really need to consider here. “What do you think?”
Hyunjin thinks carrying you off towards the bathroom answers your question well enough.
With how feverishly you kiss him, he’s effectively flying blind, moving as quickly as he can while trying not to stumble. He has to keep one arm off you, extended, to prevent a collision; but he eventually reaches his destination. A measured kick opens the half-closed door far enough to move your bodies through it.
The same arm that guided him to the bathroom swipes uselessly over the wall in an attempt to find the light switch without turning his head. You seem to sense his struggle, pulling away kiss-bitten to handle the task yourself.
It’s then that Hyunjin truly gets to drink in the sight of you, radiant despite the flickering fluorescent overhead. 
It’s then that his heart truly starts hammering away in his chest, pumping so eagerly that he finds it hard to hear you say, “You need to let me go.”
He knows you’re referring to his hold on you now, which keeps you from reaching down to the shower handle. Those words sting, nonetheless.
“We’ve got a good thirty minutes’ worth of hot water.” You slip through his hands and immediately push up onto your toes to kiss him again, like you know exactly where his train of thought has gone. “Then, I’ve got a warm bed under a leak-free ceiling.”
For how long, though?
Hyunjin shakes his head to knock those thoughts out of the way. He refuses to spend another second thinking about anything else. For now, he’s here. 
He’s with you — beautiful, considerate, genius you — and you’re glancing over your shoulder at him as you check the water’s temperature on the back of your hand, smiling with your eyes alone. With a built-in fondness that never changes, even if the eyes themselves do.
“Coming?” You chirp. You flick water at him to wake him from the trance he’d fallen into while watching you.
Hyunjin raises his eyebrows quickly then drops them, eyes sweeping over your body and making you shiver on instinct. “At least once.”
You want to roll your eyes — he knows you do — but you’re too flustered. You’re always so easy to play with. So shy that you pinch your bottom lip between your teeth when you reach out to help him shrug his jacket off his shoulders. 
With a muffled thud, wet leather hits dry tile. Shirts, shoes, and all the rest of the tangible barriers between you fall by the wayside. The two of you resettle within the steam of the shower, and his hands revel in your softness the second they can. 
He kisses an apology into your bare shoulder for the shock his cold fingers press into your waist. Yours, perfectly warm, thread through his already wet hair. 
Somehow, it’s your touch that sparks a shiver.
“Missed you.” Your eyes flutter shut as his lips travel nearer to your neck. “I still do,” you amend, breathless by the time his mouth reaches your pulse point. How a heartbeat can feel like home, he’ll never know. “I’m never not missing you.”
Hyunjin’s palms follow the curves of your waist down to your hips, grip solid as he pulls you flush against his chest, kissing up the column of your neck until your head tips back. You’re in the perfect position to gaze up at him when your eyelids finally find the strength to stay open.
“Have I ever told you what I think about?” He murmurs. His hands dip further down to caress your perfect ass, massaging the flesh with both hands until he works a quiet whine out of you. “When I want you but can’t have you?”
Your pupils dilate so fast that it’s almost comical. Hyunjin lets a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. He lets his eyes drift, too, so he can watch rivulets of warm water streak down your chest. Halfway to hypnotized, he speaks in a low, reverent tone:
“Think about holding you so close that I can feel your nipples start to peak.”
Experimentally, he raises his hand and flicks his thumb over one. It glides easily — slippery when wet — and you love the sensation, judging by the way you gasp.
When he moves towards you, you seem to anticipate where he’s headed next. You inch backwards until your spine rests against the shower wall, shivering slightly against the chill.
“I picture you writhing in my arms, pinned to a wall just like this one.” Left palm flat against the tile near your head, he cages you in, tilting his head down so that his forehead touches yours. “Your fingernails pressing crescents into my shoulders, your legs wrapped around me.”
You whimper, right on cue, when his right hand drops.
“Spilling all those sweet little sounds of yours right into my ear.”
The knuckle of his index finger traces a straight line down, down, down your stomach. Your breath catches in your throat because he keeps going, finds you with his fingertips, wet and wanting.
“Hyunjin,” you plead, voice barely loud enough to overpower the drum of water landing at your feet.
He ducks his head, lips now close enough to your ear that they touch while he whispers, “Will you let me?”
You gasp when Hyunjin’s middle finger begins to swirl over your clit.
“Can I show you?”
Though he’s better at hiding it than you, his ministrations have him fucked up, too. His cock hangs heavy in the minimal space between you; his whole body begs for yours and yet, when you nod, he limits himself to one digit. Your arousal coats that finger like gloss in the second before it slips inside of you.
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You’re boneless, but you manage to wobble off from the bathroom towards your bedroom, nonetheless. As you do, you pull your half-damp hair up into a crooked knot at the top of your head, unintentionally leaving tendrils behind. They cling to the wetness of your shoulders, not budging a millimeter despite your movement.
Hyunjin pads along behind you, and he can’t help but smirk. You clung to his shoulders the exact same way, only letting go when the hot water and your shaking legs gave out simultaneously. 
Like you can sense his smugness, you look back at him. You don’t call him out the way he expects. Instead, you smile sheepishly. “It’s bleeding, isn’t it?”
His eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “It’s what?” Frantically, his wide eyes dart across your exposed skin for some injury he must’ve missed. Something he must’ve caused. There are old scars, sure, but nothing fresh to tip him off. “Is what — ?”
“The dye!” You amend quickly, gesturing over your shoulder. 
This clears up his panic but not his confusion. 
Chuckling softly, you turn back around with a shake of your head and continue your steps towards the dresser at the far side of your room. Your explanation continues as you go. 
There’s no condescension in your expression or tone  — there never is — but Hyunjin thinks it’d be warranted. You know more than he could ever hope to about a million different things, all of which he’d willingly pay tuition costs to learn about.
It’s simple, it’s sweet, and it’s effective. 
“Hot water opens up the cuticle of the strand and flushes the color out. Red molecules don’t penetrate as deeply — they’re the biggest — so they wash out super easily, unfortunately.”
You frown again and tug open the middle drawer, mumbling about your poor white towels while you root through your limited selection of clothing.
He’s so fond of you that he really might drop dead, so he jokes his way around it, doesn’t speak the quiet part out loud.
“Shit. You spoil me, Professor.” Hyunjin whistles, genuinely impressed and only slightly devilish. The unexpected noise prompts you to look up at him again with startled eyes. “First, the shower sex, now a chemistry lesson —”
He has to cut himself off to catch the sweatpants you hurl at him. The interruption doesn’t wipe the teasing look off his face, though; and it certainly doesn’t distract from the flustered look on yours. You try like hell to hide his effect on you, but it only gets worse when he swaps out the towel hanging low on his hips for the clothes you’ve given him.
After shooting you an impish grin, Hyunjin twirls around, if only for the split second it takes him to drop himself into your bed. And fuck, just like every other time, he wonders how either of you ever manage to leave it. Here in your sheets, it’s all weightless — your joint baggage, the world’s expectations, the thousand things neither one of you can say out loud.
“Must be sore from the drive,” you hum. “Tired, too.”
Hyunjin can’t remember a time when he wasn’t.
The urge he feels to close his eyes and bury his face in pillows that smell like you is overwhelming. That familiar floral perfume of yours calms him so quickly and completely that he could fall asleep in an instant. Really, that’s exactly what he’d do if the clock wasn’t running, but it is, and he knows better than to waste the limited time he gets to spend staring up at you.
So, he just says, “I’ve never felt better,” because all of these things can be true at once.
You’re too focused to notice him watching you, but Hyunjin doesn’t mind. While you rummage around for the shorts that pair with your short-sleeved, button-up pajama top, he commits the current state of you to memory. 
It feels like a moral duty, filling up his brain with as many mental snapshots as possible. After all, this version of you will be gone the next time he sees you. You and all your iterations deserve to be remembered, even if Hyunjin is the only one alive who can do it. Unfortunately, there’s a blank space in his scrapbook. A piece of your story he’ll never be able to speak to, and it comes right at the start of it.
One of fate’s cruelest twists is that he didn’t get to meet you — the original, anyways — before your survival became contingent on reinvention. By the time he stumbled into your life, you’d already done your best to destroy all the evidence of who you used to be; burned up your past with a box of matches until no trace was left. 
And even if photos did still exist of who you used to be, it’d be too dangerous for you to possess them. For over a year now, you’ve been running from your past, hopping from city to city and modifying your appearance with every move.
As physically and mentally taxing as those procedures must be, they’re necessary. A single slip-up would cash in that price on your head. Considering the role you used to occupy, that would be a massive payout. It’s a safe assumption to make that the interest only compounds further with every day you evade them.
To Hyunjin’s knowledge, you’re the only Ulsan defector to last this long on the outside. It’s virtually impossible for ex-employees to escape at all with their memories still intact; even less likely that they’ll evade the bounty hunters that come next. After that, it’s only a matter of time — not if, but when they’re discovered — until Ulsan’s retention team comes calling. Their luck runs out then, if they ever had any to begin with. 
Worse, their subsequent deaths aren’t even a blip on the general public’s radar.
Absolutely nobody bats a fucking eye at deaths by “natural causes”. And thanks to iron-clad non-disclosure agreements, nobody knows that the trail of corpses are connected in the first place. By design, the string that ties their bodies back to a common employer is invisible.
Knowing what life would be like otherwise, most don’t even attempt to flee. Understandably, they give in to the cleanse when their employment is terminated, one way or another. They live the rest of their lives without so much of an echo of their time at Ulsan.
You’ve been slipping him intel about the corporate experience since he met you, but Hyunjin has never asked about yours. Speaking any of it out loud feels like a summoning spell. Like saying that name in the mirror three times will invite your demons in.
“I miss the blue, I think.”
Hyunjin props himself up on his elbow, frowning. You finish buttoning that soft, silk top of yours and shuffle over to join him, melting into his side the second your body slips under the comforter. 
He counters, “The red looks just as good,” and kisses the top of your head to emphasize his point. 
You wiggle enough to look up at him with your nose scrunched thoughtfully. “I thought you liked the black best.”
This time, there’s a tiny bit of crookedness in the bridge of your nose like it’s been broken before and didn’t quite heal right. That attention to detail — creating lived-in features that haven’t actually been lived in — is probably why you’ve lasted this long. Anyone else that goes under the knife as often as you tends to seek perfection, not realism. 
Funny how the choice that sets you apart is what lets you blend in.
Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, looks you dead in your newly hazel eyes, and he says nothing about the fact that they were most recently green. “I like them all best.”
This, like any compliment, immediately makes you shy. Before he can blink, your face is buried in the crook of his neck, warming him from the outside in. You mumble something against his skin that he can’t quite catch. You must know it, too, because you reposition yourself to free up your mouth.
“You’ve finally stopped shivering,” you note before leaving a solitary, soft kiss on the side of his throat. 
He nods to the best of his ability. “Sufficiently thawed.”
You glance up at him at the same moment that he looks down at you. It’s written all over your face — don’t you dare — but Hyunjin always does, doesn’t he? And he always will, so long as your eyes keep going wide like this.
“Can’t say it was the steam that did it, though. I think you fucked the chill right out of me.”
The tiny groan you let go of gets lost under the playful smack of your hand against his chest. You put no pressure behind it whatsoever — he didn’t feel a thing — but he gasps, nonetheless. His head crashes back against the pillows; his eyes fall shut. And because he’s a little shit before he is anything else, he goes slack-jawed, tongue hanging limply from the corner of his mouth.
“You might be the most dramatic person that’s ever lived. You know that, right?”
His reply comes like a death rattle. It’s automatic, it’s ominous, and there’s no taking it back now:
“Truly unfortunate that you have to be loved by me, of all people.”
That admission has been a long time coming, but Hyunjin has tried to hold it back for the same reason you have. For the same reason you don’t say it back now, even though he feels it seep into every other word. Calling this what it is — love — is a promise neither one of you can keep. 
It’s the worst thing he could’ve said to you because he can’t act on it; and it might be the worst thing you’ve ever heard, so you just return to your spot, nuzzled into his neck.
“Tell me what I’ve missed.” You deflect, lips tickling against the spot just below his ear. “What are you all up to?”
Hyunjin used to wonder why you wanted to know every mundane detail about his and his comrades’ daily lives — boredom with your own or genuine interest? Now, he doesn’t bother splitting hairs. It’s both, and he has no fucking business passing judgment. Without a community of your own, you deserve whatever pieces of his that he can give.
“Well,” Hyunjin sighs, fingertips drawing nonsense shapes on your back. With his prints burned off, they glide especially smoothly over the silky fabric of your pajama top. Yet another bonus. “Got some new blood right after I saw you last. One of them was a childhood friend of Felix’s, and she’s — uhh — a little rough around the edges.”
Your little chuckle makes him shiver.
“He loves her, though — like, truly, madly, deeply loves her — so, I think he’s uniquely capable of refining her enough to be useful.” He pauses for a moment to consider whether or not he wants to say it. In the end, he can’t stop himself. “It’s nice to see him happy. That shit’s so rare, living the way we do. He deserves it.”
“Hyunjin, so do you.”
This time, he doesn’t say what he wants to. 
He doesn't ask you to run away with him, knowing damn well that it’s even more dangerous to try than to stay. Neither of you would willingly leave loose ends, anyway. There’s too much left to be done, and all of it comes before his own happiness. It always has.
He doesn’t ask you to come back with him, either.  As much as he wants to offer up the Black Screen to keep you safe, there’s no guarantee that they could. You’d only turn him down if he tried, remind him that your proximity makes the target on their heads even bigger. Hyunjin suspects that this isn’t your only fear, however. 
Trust is a luxury you can’t afford; and it’d cost a lot of it for an ex-corp to cross the line in the sand. If you did, you’d be walking into a collective hell-bent on destroying the entity you used to associate with — into a factory full of mercenary anarchists, not many of whom make the best listeners. Your story might fall on deaf ears; or worse, breed suspicion about your motives.
It’s all fucked, top to bottom.
After another pause, Hyunjin responds with a truth so unattainable that it feels like a lie. “Someday,” he murmurs. “When this is all over.”
If that time ever comes.
“Are you close?” Your question surprises him because you almost sound hopeful, which isn’t a word he’d ever previously thought to associate with either of you. You mistake his stunned silence for misunderstanding, so you clarify, “To a plan, I guess.”
Hyunjin doesn’t know what to say next, so he takes your hand from where it rests on his stomach and pulls it up to his lips. They brush over your knuckles slowly, a failed attempt to avoid the inevitable.
He’s never — not once — asked you about Ulsan. It’s the last thing he wants to do, tearing away from the limited time he gets to exist with you out of context, but he can’t think of any other way around it now. 
What if this is the only way to someday?
When he stalls, you excavate yourself from his side and prop yourself up on one elbow to assess him. It’s more concern than anything else, the gentle way in which you look at him. If only it didn’t make him feel more guilty. If only it didn’t cause his question to stick in his throat on its way out, forcing him to clear it.
“Have you ever heard of the Bliss Beta?” 
It must stun you to hear it because you freeze solid. 
Fuck. 
He shouldn’t have done this. He shouldn’t have brought it up, should’ve kept his fucking mouth shut, but it only spills out faster:
“Ulsan is running some clandestine clinical trials for something called the Bliss Beta. It’s —”
“— I know what it is,” you interrupt quietly.
“You do?”
You pause. There’s something unreadable in your expression that he’d normally guess after; you don’t give him the opportunity. You state it slowly. Cautiously. “I made it.”
Hyunjin is the frozen one now.
If he could make himself move, he might leave and never look back. But some persistent part of him refuses to run, refuses to accept that you truly had anything to do with the horror show wreaking havoc in neighborhoods just like this one. 
If you did — if Hyunjin can force himself to swallow that truth — then he may as well fall off the grid right here and now. There would be no coming back from that, not for him.
Please tell me you’re still the person I think you are.
“It’s also what made me leave,” you explain softly. “What they wanted to do with it, I mean.” 
Hyunjin’s hand is still limp around yours, so you take yours back into your lap. For a moment, you say nothing, only fidgeting with the rings around your fingers. When you finally do speak, your voice is so quiet that he has to strain to hear it, even sitting as close to you as he is. 
“Ulsan was putting all its resources into cyberware, but none into addressing the side-effects. I was naive enough to think that I could change that.” You shake your head, letting out a humorless laugh. “I applied in the first place because I wanted to find a way to treat cyberpsychosis. All of these people are replacing every single part of their biological bodies with extremely powerful, inorganic materials…”
Your voice trails off at the end as a grimace takes over. Even though your features are different now, that subdued look of utter hopelessness in your eyes is the same. He could pick it out of a lineup if he had to.
“It’s such a slippery slope, Hyunjin.” You exhale, voice tinged with a sadness he can’t fully understand. “When you fuck with a person’s reality to that extent, that recklessly, and add in the kind of omnipotence that comes with all of these modifications... They lose themselves in it.”
The sort of people you’re talking about feature heavily on the news due to the horrendous acts of violence they’re caught committing, but no network dares to show the kind of empathy for them that you currently are. They only show the squads of WraithCo. goons it takes to neutralize them — a sterile, media term for “shot like a dog in the street”. Try as he might, Hyunjin can’t recall a single one of these stories that doesn’t end in state-sanctioned murder.
He looks up from your hands in your lap to your face, seemingly catching you by surprise. To his surprise, your eyes are swimming. 
In all the time he’s known you, you’ve never cried — not about the state of the world or the shitty cards you’ve been dealt, time and time again. Until now, Hyunjin wasn’t sure if you could cry. It always seemed safe to assume that you’d either given up or forgotten how. Modified your way around the process, maybe. Cut the flow to the faucet in the course of your renovations.
Reflexively, he takes your hand back in his and squeezes once to ground you. Maybe it’s stupid, but he prays that some part of you will light up the way it normally does when you have the opportunity to educate him about something new. 
His favorite teacher, the best there is.
“What did you design, Professor?” Hyunjin asks.
Please work.
You crack the world’s tiniest smile at the nickname — one you’ve always rolled your eyes at — and it’s enough for him. There’s a sliver of excitement in your voice again, too. 
Proof of life.
“So…” You suck in a breath, like you’ll miss more than a few as you ramble. “The problem is mechanical, even if it presents as psychiatric, right? You can’t rely on psychotropic medication to soothe a brain that’s gone haywire in a literal sense. The solution is hidden within the problem itself, you know?”
You pause and glance over at him for some confirmation that he’s following. He’s doing his fucking best, but this shit is so far outside of his wheelhouse. You take the borderline grimace he gives you and run with it, gesturing wildly with your free hand while you talk.
“I designed a chip to be inserted here —” You reach over and run your fingertip over the small, titanium datashard slot behind his right ear. 
Most people use this port to store and share data in the same way its distant predecessor — the universal serial bus — was used, generations ago. Having started out as a military exclusive, this tech weaved its way into the corporate sectors following the war. From there, it trickled down to civilian populations, who primarily use it for media consumption.
Of course, the run-off always lands in the gutter. Edge runners and their neighbors in the underbelly swap maps, schematics, and the like, passing intel from person to person without leaving an easily discoverable paper trail. Money, too, that’ll never cross paths with a bank or an audit.
Their more tech-literate counterparts — net runners and back alley doctors, for example — pad their ill-gotten income by peddling programmed datashards. Ones that enhance hacking capabilities or bolster combat prowess, as if the recipient is main-lining skills; no practice necessary. 
Hyunjin, to the contrary, doesn’t use his shard slot at all. He’s never been adept at this tech shit, and he can’t be fucking bothered to learn.
“— with the goal of de-stimulating the frontal lobe.” You move your hand to brush your fingertips gently across his forehead. 
Your touch is gone too soon. 
Pausing for a moment, your shoulders and the corners of your mouth droop downwards. Dejected, you sound almost apologetic when you eventually say, “Not a perfect fix, by any means. I just figured that if you can mute some of the noise that’s overriding these people’s true personalities, you can negate the impulse to —”
“— Peel people apart like perilla leaves,” Hyunjin mutters darkly. He’s nowhere near as tactful as you are, so he sees no use in trying. “And if they’re not not doing that, then it’s less likely that —”
Looking now at him, you chirp, “The last thing they see in this life is their own brain smeared on the sidewalk, yes.”
Hyunjin stares at you with his jaw hanging open, absolutely shaken to his core that something like that, something he would say, just came out of your mouth. Flabbergasted is too weak a word; his whole goddamn world has been upended. And he doesn’t know or care what it says about him as a person that he wants to kiss you more now than he ever has before.
Seemingly unaware of the way you just broke his brain, your gaze shifts back down to your joined hands. You go quiet again, smile slipping away as you fade in real time. He fucking hates it. Hates that reality always finds a way to creep back in, even though it’s never once been welcome here. 
It’s heavy. 
It hurts.
“It could’ve been great.”
Hyunjin knows you’re talking about your project, but that’s not all he hears. 
You could’ve been great if this world wasn’t anything like it is. Instead, your genius is tucked away in one shithole apartment after another. 
You could’ve been great together, but the time and place are all wrong. 
It all could’ve been great, but it isn’t.
He’s at a loss for words now, so he simply nods.
“I don’t know what I expected, signing on to work for Nam Yeongsun,” you admit quietly. “I don’t know why I thought he’d be any different than the rest of them.”
Them, meaning the other fundamentalist, venture capitalists hiding democracy behind a paywall. 
Your assessment is mostly correct. The only thing that sets Ulsan’s Chief Executive Officer apart is his mastery of dog-whistle politics. Charming demagogue that he is, he’s the best at what he does — subtly reinforcing prejudices that dwell below the surface.
“He took what I created and perverted it.” 
Hyunjin’s no stranger to your fiercely passionate side, but he’s never seen a simmering rage quite like this one. 
You spit it out like it’s poison: “Nam is trying to eradicate what he deems to be unproductive traits, as if you can bug fix poverty and addiction.”
A wave of nausea crashes over Hyunjin so forcefully that his palms start to sweat.
The targeted advertisements in low-income areas.  
The promise of cash for participation without any explanation.
Oh, fuck.
“He’s hijacking people,” Hyunjin croaks, struggling to breathe. “That thing you said about the frontal lobe,” he mutters before swallowing hard. “They’re losing themselves, aren’t they?”
“I didn’t think it was possible.” The tears in your eyes threaten to spill over. You clear your throat, but it doesn’t make a difference; your voice still shakes, trembling alongside your hands. “But if they’ve made it all the way to human trials, that means they’ve actually figured out a way to do it.”
Hyunjin is torn between wanting to scream, faint, and vomit. None of them could adequately purge him of the gnawing sense of doom that swirls in his gut; there’s no quick fix, if a fix even exists at all.
But the boulder is already flying downhill at breakneck speed, and he can’t stop it. Throwing his body in front of it won’t make a difference. That feeling of abject helplessness only swells when you glance at him sideways and up the ante.
“Hyunjin, that’s not the worst of it.”
He doesn’t want to hear it, doesn’t want to ask and shoulder the burden of knowing, but refusing to bear witness to the truth is what made this state the way it is. Hyunjin doesn’t have a choice.
“What could possibly be worse than that?”
“Nam’s charge has always been to eradicate societal ills. He wants abstention, whether it’s drugs or antisocial behavior — forced, if it can’t be willful.” Your voice gets weaker, the more you say, but you don’t stop. “If he really found a way to dig his fingers into the brains of undesirable people, he’ll never stop at one form of abstinence.”
“You're talking about eugenics, right?” He struggles to swallow the bile rising in his throat.
“If this beta makes it out of the trial phase, I’m talking about classicide.”
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The ride back to the compound breaks Hyunjin’s heart every time he has to make it. With how tight he grips the handlebars now, his fingers might break, too, but he doesn’t give a shit. All he can think about is the small, metal datashard in his pocket, and the look on your face when you’d handed it to him.
“You have to give this to Spider, Hyunjin. Nobody else. Do you understand?”
Every part of that exchange had been a plea. You’d pulled the tech out of a locked box in your nightstand and transferred it to his palm with a desperation in your eyes that he’d never seen before — from anyone. You’d closed his fingers around it and kept your hands over his, holding him tight, and he made the mistake of asking why.
In hindsight, Hyunjin wishes he hadn’t.
“The encryption. If someone doesn’t peel back the security correctly, layer by layer, it’ll flag your location.”
If he’d kept his mouth shut, he wouldn’t have to know why you clung to him the way that you did, looking at him like it was the last time you’d ever get to do it.
“Everything I know about the beta is on that shard — the program, the lab’s coordinates, its security, and its vulnerabilities.” 
Your voice broke then. 
“They’ll know the source of the information as soon as you access it, but they cannot find out where you are when you do.”
When he felt the weight of your words, Hyunjin refused to accept them for what they were: a sacrifice. Ulsan’s retention team, who currently has no idea you’re still in the peninsula — still alive — will tear the New Republic apart to find you, and when they do —
He kept repeating that there had to be another way to prevent this rollout, that he’d find one, he promised; but you touched his cheek, and he knew:
The only way to Ulsan is through you.
On his way out the door, you’d stopped him with one hand around his wrist. Kissed him hard, cheeks tear-stained, and tried your best to get the rest out through a tightening throat.
“Hyunjin,” you’d whispered, then your voice trailed off. 
All the time you’d both spent swallowing it down made it too difficult to vocalize, but Hyunjin still heard it in all that quiet. He took the baton from you then, speaking just as softly, just as sure. “I know,” he promised. “I love you, too.”
And now, as he races back to the compound with your death sentence in his pocket, Hyunjin knows something else for certain:
When you’re gone, you’ll haunt him, too.
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