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#i am extra salty today so here's the rest of todays story because i had a major breakdown today and it was UGLY

angelguk · 3 years

Text

→ on my mind 02 — a jeongguk scenario

member: jeon jungkook

word count: 25.6k

genre: domestic!au + established relationship + fluff + smut + mild angst

warnings: slow build / oral sex (f & m receiving) / multiple smut scenes / over-stimulation / breeding kink / creampies / mentions of infertility / pregnancy is a central part of the story line / pregnancy sex / jeongguk just wants to be a good dad / i am so sorry if the editing is not up to par i tried my best / mild possessiveness / mentions of misogyny and an asshole manager

soundtracks: (they long to be) close to you, carpenters + to you, yoona & lee sang soon + someone’s shining, wisue + who knew, chloe x halle, + but i’m trying to tell you how much i love you, saevom + pretend, lee aram + when the wind blows, yoona + meet me in amsterdam, rini + she, jannabi

special thanks to: @gukkheaven for seeing the baby version of this fic <3 / @a-life-thats-next-to-normal for sharing some much needed baby info with me!

header credit @dee-ehn <3

read the first part here

The first time you buy a test, you don’t tell him.

It’s a Thursday afternoon and you arrive home first. Jeongguk had texted you that he would be late today because Namjoon needed him to work overtime on a file that was due. You had taken the rare opportunity to scurry to your local chemist and purchase a handful of pregnancy tests. You’d dumped the pink boxes on the counter, trying in vain to avoid the blatant stare of the cashier as she packaged them into a small black bag. The trek back home nerve-racking. Your heart pounding painfully against your chest, the scruff of your sneakers against the pavement the only accompaniment to the tension you felt weighing over your body. It was only when you had passed a playground, eyes skimming over the hordes of children joyously dandling from monkey bars and slipping down sliders with wide grins on their faces, did your heart momentarily calm down. Lulled by the sound of their laughter until your pulse was relaxed once more.

You could do this — it’s just a test.

The apartment is eerily silent when you click the door closed behind you. You heel your shoes off, sliding your feet into the downy slippers Jeongguk had picked up for you a while back. You dump the bag on the dining table, hands shaking as you dig for your phone in your bag. Your fingers tap on the familiar pink app on your screen and you read the text that you’ve been subtly denying for the past week. Your period is late. Sometimes you miss a day or two but a whole nine days had passed and mother nature hadn’t sent you the usual reminder that indicated that you were not with child.

For some reason, the words sent a thrill through your body. It wasn’t like you were taking precautions to avoid pregnancy - quite the opposite. Ever since Jeongguk had admitted his secret wish to you, you’d both taken every opportunity to make sure you’d get knocked up. Most of the apartment had been rechristened during those activities, particularly the couch. The moment you’d told him you wouldn’t mind carrying his child a spark of desire had reignited in Jeongguk that you hadn’t seen since you started dating five years ago.

But for some reason, nothing was working the way you’d expected it to be. With Jeongguk’s new robust sex drive, you expected to be pregnant within a month tops. Yet, your period appeared each month without fail and it hurt to see the doubt creep onto his face every time he brought you a hot water bottle to lessen the cramps wreaking havoc in your stomach. For a while, you thought you were infertile. You considered taking up the issue with your doctor but it was hard to acknowledge that you may be. That either of you may be. Not when both of you wanted this so bad.

The fact that your period had been missing for a significant amount of time in your perspective was both thrilling and alarming at the same time.

When you finally pick up one of the pregnancy tests, you take your time, reading over the instructions. Three times exactly. One-line means not pregnant, two lines indicate that you are. Not hard, right?

In the bathroom, you struggle to pee. Your hand is trembling as you hold the collection cup and your flow is unsteady despite the two bottles of water you’d chugged on the train ride home once Jeongguk told you he’d be late. Things work out, regardless of your nerves.

Once everything is done, your hands are clean and the two pregnancy tests you’d unwrapped are sitting flat on the counter of your bathroom, you fiddle with the timer app on your phone, setting it to five minutes.

Those are the longest five minutes of your life.

You leave the bathroom, unable to look before the set time, your bottom lip caught between your teeth. You can’t sit, so you pace around, slippers slapping the hardwood floorboards as you try to attempt to calm yourself down but fail miserably at it because the clock hanging in the living room is ticking too loud; it echoes in your head matching the beats of the seconds you’re mentally counting down. Outside of your apartment, someone’s shouting a passing greeting across the street, there’s the tickle of a bike bell and a gruff woof echoing from the throat of a dog. The sounds of life outside the panic bubble you’re currently in draws you to the window. You pad over, lean down to rest your elbows against the sill as your eyes take in the sight of the evening sun dipping behind the silhouettes of buildings. The sky bleeds orange and red, bright fuchsia pink and cornflower blue trailing behind their wake like silage. The view is partially obscured by murky grey clouds but beyond them, you can still spot the lavender tone the two colours create when they flux into each other.

The sight slows down your heartbeat, a sense of tranquillity washing over your body as if you’d been dipped into the ocean. It reminds you of the sea view both of you had left behind when you’d moved to Seoul four years ago. You can’t help but slip into a reverie, nose full of the ghost-like remnants of salty air, the sand you’d played in as a child a phantom caressing the soles of your feet. The sunsets in Busan were better but Seoul is where Jeongguk and you had crafted life together, even if you sometimes wished you had never left your hometown at all.

The alarm going off in the bathroom yanks you right back into your quaint little apartment. You take a deep breath and then rise. Your knees wobble as you walk to the bathroom, a sheen of sweat building in the palms of your hands. The sudden urge to just get this over with steadies your steps until you’re standing before the counter again, staring at your reflection in the mirror. There are dark bags underneath your eyes and your face carries the worries of the day. You look worn and you feel it too. Coupled with the extra pressure of trying and failing to get pregnant, there’s so much on your back right now it feels as if it’s bent over. You sigh, eyes still refusing to falter and look downwards at the results on your counter.

It takes you a moment to gather the courage to pluck up the first test.

Your breath is trapped in your throat and your eyes suddenly feel hot and wet. Your vision blurs up and your hands are shaking but even despite the tears falling down your cheeks, you can see the results.

It’s one line. Negative.

The other one reads the same and all you can do is try to remember how to breathe as you roughly wipe away your tears. Your hands are trembling as you wrap up and dispose of the two tests, shoving them into the trash before you pile more tissue on top of it, wishing you could hide from the shame you feel too. The black bag with the other tests gets tucked behind your pads in the cupboard. Jeongguk won’t question that, so it's the safest place to store it.

You head to the shower next, allowing the rushing water to sweep away the dried tear stains on your face, hoping it erases the crushing feeling of disappointment sitting on your chest too. But it doesn’t and even as you move around the kitchen to make dinner, your actions seem slow, languid in a bad way, held down by the fact that no matter what you can’t seem to get pregnant.

Jeongguk knows right away something is off.

He came home late as he said he would, pressed a kiss to your cheek and muttered a small greeting before heading to the shower. When he emerged once more in grey sweats and a worn white t-shirt, he’d plopped himself down at the dining table, gave you a quiet once over and then opened his mouth to gently say, “Your eyes are red.”

“Bad day at work,” you lie, placing a bowl of rice before him.

“Seungmin?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

You fall into a silence that should be comfortable but it isn’t. Every time you glance up Jeongguk is staring at you with a worried expression that makes your heart heavy. Even between bites of food, you can see his brain working, mulling over a way to make you feel better. Which sucks because Jeongguk shouldn’t be worrying about insignificant issues like this. He had a lot on his plate anyway. His extra hours at the office were taking a gradual toll on him. His eyes seemed hollower and he’d had to skip a couple of gym sessions so he didn’t even have his usual outlet for stress. There was a vein surfacing on his forehead and it pulsed every time he was thinking too hard about something. Like it was now. It hurt even more when you knew Jeongguk was putting all this stress on himself because he wanted to find a bigger place for his future family. The spare room you owned had long since been converted into his game room and he wasn’t about to give up that little luxury just yet. He was only taking on more responsibilities at the office because he believed that his future children deserve a place to run, play games, to just be a child. The image of the two negative tests linger before your vision and your heart breaks a little more because it feels like Jeongguk is working hard for something that’ll never become a reality.

He cleans up while you take your place on the couch. Even with the drone of the drama on the television and the clinking of dishes as Jeongguk washes up fills your apartment, you still can’t settle in and shake off the cloud that’s hanging above your head. When he does join you, Jeongguk lugs over the soft black blanket you’d whisked from Yoongi’s apartment, carrying his favourite bar of chocolate in his hands.

He shoves it in your direction, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “Here, take this.”

“Why? It’s yours.” But you clasp your fingers around the plastic wrapping, the warmth of his lips against your skin ebbing through you.

He shrugs, shifting against you so that your legs are thrown over his and the blanket covers both of your bodies. Beneath it, his large warm hand searches for yours, latching around your fingers and giving them a gentle squeeze. “Take it. You said you had a bad day and chocolate always makes you feel better, doesn’t it?”

The corners of your mouth are lifting upwards as you tear the package open. It's mint flavoured. Jeongguk always had an affinity towards sweet mint flavoured things, and the chocolate melts on your tongue with ease. Slowly, the tension within you abates, your mind vaguely focusing on the screen before you, Jeongguk’s warm firm body burning beside you. You melt into him, breaking off pieces of chocolate and nudging them against his mouth until he parts his lips and allows you to drop them inside. His tongue trails against your fingertips despite the ‘gross’ you mutter into the evening air. All he does is laugh and pull you closer, brushing another swift kiss on your cheek. You settle against him, resting your head against the curve of his shoulder before the drama takes your attention. One of the characters had made a joke and the rise of Jeongguk’s chest beneath your head as he laughs calms you down so much that you can’t help but laugh too.

The evening winds down in this manner. Jeongguk unknowingly melting away the tension that had built up within you with each soft smile and laugh that he gives you as he talks about his day over the voices of the actors on screen. You listen intently, hoping you can take away some of his stress too until you’re struggling to keep your eyes open. He gently shakes you awake, taking your hand to guide you into bed where you promptly collapse between the sheets. You can hear his footsteps as he moves around, checking the doors and switching the lights off, but your mind feels foggy and your eyes are heavy.

When he settles in beside you, shirtless and having tucked away from the semi you don’t know he’s sporting, your breaths are slow and slumber is slipping over you. His arm finds its way over your waist and his chest is plastered against your back. You’re about to fall asleep, the dark deep wonders of rest right on the edge of your vision but you’re wiggling around, slotting the curve of your ass against Jeongguk’s crotch and that’s when you instantly wake up.

His erection is nudging against your ass and you can tell he’s still awake from the rise and fall of his chest behind you. He thinks you’re still sleeping because he doesn’t say anything, just trails a finger against the curve of your hips. The touch warms you even through the fabric of your pyjamas. But you’re suddenly on edge again, the negative tests flashing before your eyes. You were going to book an appointment with the doctor soon but would it hurt to try one more time before you did so? It really wouldn’t.

You wiggle against him harder, the growing curve of his cock against you eliciting a rush of slick from your cunt. When you grind into him, Jeongguk groans, a low rumble that slips from his throat. The grip on your hip draws taut. He knows you’re awake.

“If you keep doing that, we’re going to have a problem.”

You grin, hips still pushing backwards. “What if I’m willing to solve it?”

“I wouldn’t let you.”

You halt, ass still pressed against his crotch, the smile falling from your face and your arousal rapidly dissipating. Jeongguk’s pulling away before you can say anything, rising on his elbows so that he can look at you.

“I know Seungmin isn’t the reason why you were sad today. I saw the test boxes in the bathroom.”

It’s so quiet that you can hear the rush of blood filling your head. The tears you’d thought you’d run out of, reappear instantly, dripping down your cheeks. He wipes them away with a forlorn smile before shifting to wrap you in his warm arms. Your chest shudders with every breath you take but Jeongguk holds you together, whispering words of comfort against your ear.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay.” He holds you a little tighter when you start to hiccup against the crook of his neck, rubbing a large hand against your back.

When you finally calm down, you pull away, cheeks wet, to find that Jeongguk’s own eyes are tinged red too.

“Were they negative?” You nod, still, a little bit choked up. But then he smiles and moves to press a tepid kiss between your eyebrows. “Stop stressing. It’ll happen when it happens.”

“Getting pregnant shouldn’t be this hard. All I have to do is open my legs.”

“Hey,” He pats your damp cheek in chastisement. “Stop talking like that. You don’t have control over your body. Don’t blame yourself for things you can’t help. For all we know, this could be my fault.”

“It’s nobody’s fault.” You mutter. “I just - we’ve been trying for three months now and I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“We could go get checked. Both of us.” He’s pulling you closer again. “Don’t blame yourself, baby. Please.”

“I’m trying not to,” you whisper back, falling back into the comfort of his body. Jeongguk is like a pillar of strength for you, particularly when you feel like you have none left within you. And right now you don’t. But he holds you up, his hands caressing your skin softly, pushing off the worries that plague. You fall asleep like this, eyes crusty from crying and Jeongguk’s loving gaze watching over your features.

The next day, you book an appointment and try to ignore the nervous thoughts gnawing at your conscience.

Your period comes three days later and all that does is build on to the new feeling of resentment that you were developing against your uterus.

Jeongguk buys you your favourite chocolate, keeps your supply of hot water bottles going, cook’s dinner and tells you to stop worrying.

→

The late August afternoon sun warms your back as your drag Taehyung through the lake. You’ve got your arms wrapped around his neck in a playful choke-hold and despite his wild thrushes you manage to dunk him into the tepid lake water — retribution for what he did to you earlier. He’d shoved you right into the lake from atop some boulders, leaving you shocked and with water filling your nose for most of the afternoon. Somewhere in the background, you can hear Seokjin screaming at his twins because they’re copying your actions on each other and Jimin is hiding Bora from the two homicides about to take place in broad daylight.

You let go of Taehyung when he elbows you roughly and watch him rise to the surface, face tinged rose, but a good-natured boxy grin plastered on his features.

“If Jeongguk wouldn’t be able to beat my ass, I would end you Y/N,” he says.

You roll your eyes, playfully punching his arm. “Sure you would.”

Taehyung’s grin broadens. “I’m tempted to prove you wrong but you should get the boys before they murder each other.” He says before shaking his head. The droplets that fly from his mane obscure your vision so you twist around, waddling through the water, just in time to catch Minho body slam Minjoon into the water.

“Minho! You’re going to kill your brother!” Seokjin sounds beyond distressed, so on his behalf, you swim further into the water, and pull the two boys apart only to find them grinning wickedly at each other. They had just turned five and had reached the age where morbid violence was amusing instead of alarming.

“Boys, can we find something else to play instead? You’re going to send your father to an early grave.”

“What’s a grave?” Minjoon inquires, clinging to your waist as you haul them back to shore. Taehyung’s already out, meandering back to the cabins that belonged to Jimin’s affluent family. It was his idea to have a quick weekend getaway at the lake. He insisted that the kids needed to go out and play in the wild but he wanted to get everyone out of the house. The stress from work and studies were taking a huge toll on the relations within your group. You’d seen Yoongi and Namjoon argue for the first time in a while and it had been over whether Marvel was right in killing off Tony Stark. Yoongi had nearly thrown a plate at Namjoon’s head when he insisted that Tony deserved to die. That alone instantly made you agree to Jimin’s plan. You had to pack for Jeongguk too since he was swamped with work, another reason why everyone needed this mini vacation.

The man in question is nursing a beer by the grill, a languid grin on his face as he chats with Namjoon. The smile on his lips sends a rush of affection flooding through your heart because you hadn’t seen it for a while now. What with your uterus refusing to do its duty and the workload he was dealing with; you were glad he was taking a break now. He deserved it.

“A grave is where people go and sleep for a very long time,” You carefully respond, running a hand through Minho’s wet hair. They both have Seokjin’s bright eyes and the curiosity within them slightly unnerves you. “You should go ask your dad, he can explain it better.”

They shot off at that, sprinting to their father who’d given you a grateful smile when you’d dragged them out alive. Unfortunately, he was now trying to feed his third son Chansook, who was a stubborn eater according to his wife Seoyeon and coupled with the insistent pestering from the boys you could see him slowly going mad.

Instead of helping, as you should, to diffuse the situation, you head towards the kitchen, snatching up an oversized t-shirt on the way there. Seoyeon’s dashing from place to place, checking pots and pans with the help of Jimin’s wife Bora and Namjoon’s wife Eunbi. Yoongi and Hoseok take it upon themselves to cook the near twelve-packs of ramen needed to feed all the mouths present. You leave them to it, aware that Yoongi makes his ramen in a specific manner and you’d rather stay away than help him in case you ruined it. Seoyeon shoves a chopping board and some vegetables in your direction which you gladly take, settling beside Soomi.

“Is Bora outside?” She asks, slicing up a melon.

“Jimin’s got her. She’s fine.”

“Surprised she hasn’t cried yet. She hates being away from home for long periods.”

“Three days isn’t long,” You comment.

“It is in her world,” Soomi remarks, her laugh gentle. You glance at her, taking in the new wrinkles on her face due to being a mother and working at the same time. You don’t know how she handles it, especially because Soomi inherited her father’s dramatic and clingy traits. But even despite the stress, there’s a soft smile on her lips. You know she’s thinking about her child. The whole concept of infinite love that a mother possessed for her children was still lost upon you. You loved Jeongguk to the Sun and back but the love lingering on Soomi’s face at the simple thought of her baby was entirely different. Some part of you longed to know what that felt like.

“Can I ask a question?” You carefully pose, slicing the radishes Seoyeon handed you earlier.

“Go ahead.”

“How long did it take for you and Jimin to conceive?”

“With his stamina,” she scoffs, “Not long at all. I was pregnant by the end of our honeymoon. Why are you asking?” Her eyes are on you, shining with curiosity eerily similar to the twins’ gaze.

“No particular reason. Just curious.”

“Are you pregnant?” Her blatant question has your cheeks heated and you pray the rest of the occupants in the kitchen didn’t catch what she said.

“No,” you hastily reply. “I’m not. But we are trying.”

“Oh.” Soomi’s staring at you with a gaze you can’t decipher. “You don’t want to get married first?”

“We talked about that. We’re in no rush for marriage. We’re both it for each other as far as we’re concerned and a piece of paper won’t change how we feel about it. So we’ll skip out on marriage for the time being. Our parents know how we feel about marriage too. Even if they don’t exactly agree, it’s our relationship.” You make your tone firm on purpose. This question has been posed to you too many times, so the defence in your words is natural. But the look Soomi gives you is sharp enough to crack through the thin glass that constructs your resolve. Her gaze isn’t mean, but there’s a clear judgement in her eyes. She pauses, a gentle sigh slipping from her lips before she slowly opens her mouth.

“If that’s what you want, then do it. But I have to warn you, kids do shake up the picture quite a lot. Soomi taught me so much about Jimin already, things I would never have known about him. Some of them I didn’t like and others I loved and I bet she’s shown Jimin things about me that I never knew too. It’s a lot to have a kid and you need to make sure your relationship can handle the extra stress and responsibility you’re about to put on it.” She’s not looking at you, instead focusing on tying up her dark locks in a neat bun, but her last words linger in your head. “Don’t do something that might push you further away from each other. You love Jeongguk, but will you love him as a father when he messes up? Because he will. You’ll mess up a lot too. Parenting is one big learning curve that never stops curving. Even if you feel ready, Y/N, your relationship might not be.”

You move to interrupt her, a rebuttal resting on your tongue. But Soomi halts it, shooting you a glance that makes your heart halt.

“Have you thought about the pregnancy too? How your body will change? The mood swings, the morning sickness? How crappy you are going to feel? And for nine months too. That’s a lengthy time. Even with Soomi I was counting down the days until I hit the next week. I wanted it over and done with so bad if I’m being honest with you. Every pregnancy is different; I understand that — you might even be lucky and have a great one. But most aren’t a walk in the park. It’s a big commitment to make, with a lot of serious risks. Not that I want you to reconsider your choice, I just think you really need to think it through. Weigh the reasons you want this. You may want a kid right now but are you in the space to have one in nine months? That’s just something to keep in mind, Y/N. It’s not an easy thing, pregnancy or parenting.” She’s staring at you hard now, gaze earnest. “I just want you to consider that. You should talk to Jeongguk about it.”

You mumble a noise of agreement, your heart suddenly heavy in your chest. There’s a numbness that creeps from there, in the pit of darkness that now consumes the light that had once resided within you. You cut the ingredients they had you absentmindedly, Soomi’s words ringing in your head.

Even when dinner is set, memories and laughter have been cast across the table and everyone’s had their fill, you’re still mulling over Soomi’s advice. She was right, you hadn’t thought about the toll a child would take on the connection between you and Jeongguk. Or on you. You’d only focused on the happy little moments that would await you as new parents instead of the rough, ugly parts of the journey. There was a sudden panic gripping your soul instead of the familiar warmth you’d become accustomed to when you thought about having a child. Jeongguk had sensed there was something off with you too, because when you climbed into the sheets that night he’d wrapped you in a tight embrace, carefully resting your head upon his upper arm.

“Care to share what’s on your mind?” His voice is a whisper in the dead of the night, breath warming your forehead.

“It's nothing really. Just thinking about… the whole pregnancy thing?”

His body tenses. “Oh... The doctor said we’re fine though. Both healthy and fertile. It’ll happen when it happens.”

“No. Not that,” you retort, twisting in his arms. You tear yourself away, rising upright, the blanket falling from your bare shoulders. Jeongguk stares at you, eyes wide open and full of alarm. “Jeongguk.” There’s a tremor in your voice. “Do you — do you really think we’re ready for kids? I still work under a shitty manager. We live in a small apartment. You’re — you’re working so hard it’s practically killing you. We’re not even married—”

“Quit your job.” He says it firmly, rising up beside you. There’s a fire in his eyes that riles you further into the panic that’s overwhelming you.

“What are you even suggesting? I quit my job? So what? You can continue working yourself to the bone? Are you even thinking?”

“I am!” He slams back. “You hate your job, so quit! You’re talented and skilled and you deserve to work at a company that appreciates you! And where is this coming from? You don’t want to have kids anymore?” His voice faltering at the end, pandering out into the air that’s filled with tension.

“No. I — I want to Jeongguk. I just don’t know if this is the right time. There’s so much that’s not settled, we shouldn’t be straining ourselves any further.” Your throat is thick and your head is hot, unshed tears brimming within your eyes. He reaches out for your hand, rough large palms enclosing your own. You can’t look at him, staring hard at the wall instead, trying to swallow your sadness. “Maybe I’m not getting pregnant for a reason.”

“Don’t say that.” His voice cracks. “If you want to wait, that’s fine. Just know that you’re the only person I ever want to take that step with. Whether we’re married or not. I love you. I love you so much. I don’t want you to be sad about something that’s meant to make you happy. We can stop trying.” There’s a hand on your cheek, his thumb wiping away the hot tears that you weren't even aware of. When you finally look up, there’s pain glimmering behind his brown eyes and it shatters your heart into thousands of little shards.

He holds you as you cry, rocking your huddled figure lightly. His shirt is drenched in your sorrow, a growing wet stain spreading over his chest. There are hiccups stuck in your throat when you finally draw away, eyes hot and puffy. There’s matching wet stains on his own red cheeks. You brush them away, staring into his red eyes, hoping he can feel how sorry you are for giving him hope that his deepest desire could come true and then snatching it right back,

When he kisses you, there’s silent tears still streaming down your cheeks. It’s slow, gentle. The words that are stuck in his throat are communicated through this kiss. Like he needs you to know it’s okay. Your worries are valid and even though he’s hurt, he still loves you. Still needs you. And you kiss him back with the same intent, your heart aching in your chest because Jeongguk had been so happy when you’d agreed to start a family with him. A life that wasn’t just about the two of you as individuals, it would have been about the two of you as one. But that’s no longer a reality, merely a castle in the sky now.

The pillow is soft beneath the dip of your head. Jeongguk’s above you and you hold onto him like you’re afraid you might lose him, your mouths still attached. You’re terrified this might push him away, that he might find someone else that can give him what he really wants. Someone who will trust his intentions instead of doubting him.

He pulls away, eyes glossy, a look in them that tells you he can feel the fear in your kiss, the desperation to keep him closer. “I’m here.” His voice is thick, still heavy with heartbreak. “You’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere.”

The urge to prove that makes your fingertips twitch. You’re yanking at the hem of his shirt, your heartbeat pulsing in your throat. It comes off immediately, followed by his shorts and your own t-shirt. He’s not hard but there’s a sizable bulge nudging against your clothed core. You pull him down, revelling in the way he caves you in, and kiss him until he’s grinding himself against you, little gasps spilling from his swollen lips. Your fingers are tangled in his long hair and even though you’re hurting your heart settles. This is yours. No matter what happens, this belongs to you.

Jeongguk must feel the same because he’s coaxing a dark bruise on your neck, the need to display his love for you making his tongue swoop across your sensitive skin, teeth nipping when a rush of desire slithers down his back. His hips move harder now and he’s leaking in his boxers, the damp stain of the fabric matching the one on your panties. The air still feels heavy, but your joined pants now fill it. There’s a hand on your hip, pinning you down to the bed and at some point Jeongguk had kicked the sheets to the floor. You’re at his mercy, taking the rough grind of his crotch against your own. There’s a sting on your clit from the material rubbing you the wrong way, so you gently push him off, slipping off your underwear. The cool air hits your slick folds, making you feel more exposed and vulnerable than you’ve ever felt before. He doesn’t say anything, just slips down your body, draping your legs over his shoulder, his warmth breath grazing your thighs.

The first lick of his tongue against you has your toes curling. You watch him spread you apart, firm tongue dipping into hole, toying with it before sliding back up to your clit. When his lips latch onto it, sucking it hard, your back lurches off the bed. The noises that fall from your mouth spur him on, tongue moving quickly now, alternating between precise quick licks and slower ones, tongue spread against your pussy. You take it, staring at him as he devours you. The usual fire you’d become accustomed to during sex doused from his eyes, the brown softer now, almost calm. But there’s an urgency in the way he eats you out, your slick coating his lips, as his tongue flicks against your clit.

It’s hard not to grind against his face, but you’re still holding yourself back, despite the rush of pleasure that’s creeping into every muscle, every nerve and piling in your gut. When his tongue swirls around your clit, before dragging down your folds and dips inside you hard, that resolve you were desperately clinging on snaps. You roll your hips against his mouth, back arched and your head pushing into the pillows. The knot in your gut is tight. You’re close, eyes closing involuntarily and your thighs twitching under the firm grasp of his hands. Jeongguk can tell because his tongue is against your clit once more, flicking hard, coaxing the orgasm out of you. You want to push his head away, the need to snap your legs closed making your thighs tense but he doesn’t care, fucking your clit with his mouth until you unravel beneath him.

It hits you slowly and then all at once. A build-up that has your squirming beneath him, trying to get away, then your muscles lock. Mouth wide open and words falling from your throat that you can’t decipher because there’s blood rushing in your ears. Your walls clench around nothing and you wish he’d slipped in a finger or two but then you glance down, Jeongguk still lapping at your pussy with vigour, his eyes on you and your whole body just dissolves. Your bones feel like they’re melting into each other, eyelids heavy but you force them open and lock them onto his. When you finally muster the strength, you push his head away and drag him up to you, slotting your lips together. He tastes like you, and you’re fully aware of his erection, the bulge grazing against your sensitive nub.

He cups one of your breasts as you kiss, his thumb brushing against your hard nipple. You jolt, a sudden rush of wetness gushing from your cunt. Your hands trail down his body without thought, gingerly digging into the band of his boxers but then he’s pulling away, mouth latching onto your nipple and your brain short wires for a second. The drag of his tongue against your chest makes your gut feel strange, another knot settling despite the orgasm you had moments ago.

He comes up, mouth shiny with your slick and your chest heaving beneath him as he stares at you in a way that makes your heart seize. “I love you too.” It hits you then, what you’d been repeating when he was going down on you. You said you loved him. And it’s true - you do. You love him so much it hurts sometimes. It’s the most overwhelming, intense emotion you’d ever felt. It makes your heart feel like it’s going to explode sometimes. And even though you’re not sure you can give Jeongguk what he wants anymore, those words lessen the worry and guilt you feel. He loves you. That’s all that matters.

His boxers find their way to the ground when your lips latch onto each other again and then he’s guiding himself into you, groaning against your mouth as you squeeze down on him. It’s slow, his hips rising and falling onto yours in a steady rhythm, cock stretching you out. It feels so good and you let go now, moaning into his ear as your hands settle on his hips urging him into you, faster and harder. Jeongguk complies, your name stuck on his lips as he fucks you into the mattress, the curve in his stomach telling him he’s close. You clench around him, loving the way Jeongguk feels buried inside you, filling you up like no one else can. You’re tight and wet and he can’t help but lift your hips, grasping the back of your thighs so that he can pound into you the way he wants too. He’s hitting deeper now, the curve of his cock rubbing against that part of you that has delicious tingles vibrating through your body. It’s heady, the way he fucks you. You can feel him twitching, thrusts in precise, the need to cum driving his hips. When he moves to pull away, you push his hips back down.

“I — oh,” He says, breathless when you squeeze around him, ribbed velvet walls clenching on his veiny cock. “I’m close.”

“Inside,” you murmur, “Cum inside.”

He stares at you, eyes glimmering. But his hips come slamming back down hard and he fucks you like he never wants to leave your cunt. It’s exactly what you want and you’re not worried. After three months of trying what could happen now? So you let him have his way with you, his harsh thrusts bruising your hips. His own falter against you, warm cum spilling inside. Jeongguk’s panting beside your ear, your sweaty skin sticking together. His hair is dishevelled, ruined and damp. But there’s a soft smile on his face and when he pulls out, cum making your thighs feel grimy. He pecks your nose gently. It makes your heart calm. Then he rises, moving to the bathroom and returning with a wet cloth. He cleans you up in silence but it’s content, not tense. Your eyes are closed when he slips into bed again, the mattress dipping under the weight of his knee. He drags the sheets he’d plucked from the floor over your body and you burrow into his side, the thrumming of his heart in his chest a serene euphony to your ears. You fall asleep like this, the melancholy that was weighing over your heart temporarily subsided.

→

There’s a faint ding from your phone. You pick it up, sliding down the notification bar to see a reminder from your period app. You’re three days late. You choose to ignore it, tossing the phone back onto your desk because there’s a file you urgently need to complete. Seungmin’s been breathing down your neck about it. Coupled with the fact that Jeongguk’s birthday is next week and you’re still trying to plan his party out, your brain felt like it was about to combust. Your period is probably late because you were stressed. Jeongguk had been swamped with work too and after the mini holiday at the lake house you’d barely seen him. So obviously, it’s stress.

You leave the office late, putting down a reminder to book an appointment with your doctor in your notes app as you exit the building. You’d been mulling over going on birth control for a while now. It seemed like the most logical approach. Partially because you’d grown accustomed to feeling Jeongguk’s cum inside you and also because you thought it was better to wait a little bit until you were both more settled and ready for kids. Some part of you still longed to have them now but Soomi’s words haunted your thoughts every time the idea popped into your head. You had no doubt that you loved Jeongguk but the negatives of parenting heavily clouded over the pleasant scenarios you’d imagined.

The apartment is empty when you get home. You shower first and then head to the kitchen, your phone in your hand. There’s a text from Jeongguk telling you he’ll be late. He’s close to a promotion thanks to all his hard efforts even if it means you spend less and less time together. You settle on starting dinner, so that he’ll have something warm to eat when he comes home. He was notoriously bad at remembering to eat enough while working late.

When you’ve finished cooking, you settle into the couch, laptop open on some random show so that you have background noise as you eat. But it’s not enough to entertain you and you find yourself swiping through your phone. You scroll through Instagram feed, pausing over a picture of Yoona’s new-born. He’s a cute baby even with all the wrinkles and scrunched up face. His name is Jonghyun and Yoona hadn’t been able to stop talking about him. Baby this, baby that. It was cute, her unadulterated love for her child. Even when he puked over everything and refused to sleep.

Your heart feels heavy now, ears focused on the incessant ticking of the clock instead of the chattering of the actors on your screen. The memory of your first time taking a test comes stinging back hard. How nervous you were, how disappointed you felt when it was negative. It all seemed like wishful thinking now but something about it had you sitting upright, empty bowl discarded on the coffee table and your laptop nearly tipping onto the floor. You open the app again, stare at the three days’ late notification and then run to the bathroom.

The tests are still packed in the black paper bag. Your rummage through it, yanking out three in your trembling fingers tips. For some reason, it’s easier this time. You pee, dip them in the cup and leave them lying horizontally on the bathroom counter in what feels like seconds. Your heart pounds every step of the way. There’s no way you’re pregnant. It wouldn’t make any sense. Your legs jitter when you sit back onto the couch and everything feels like it’s going in slow motion. Or are you just moving really fast? You can’t tell, setting a timer on your phone before pressing your palm against your heart, trying to calm the drumming against your ribs. Time goes quickly and there’s a familiar buzzing signifying that your results are ready. You can’t walk. You don’t want to walk. It would be better not to know. But what’s the harm in knowing when you already know they’re negative. It’s just a confirmation. You’re not pregnant.

When you finally rise, your breath is shaky and your legs feel like logs as you drag yourself to the bathroom. The counter beckons you towards the tests, bright white light shining down upon them.

Two lines. On all three tests. Positive.

You can’t breathe. Your hands are shaking so much and suddenly the floor feels closer than it should. Your heart threatens to burst from your chest and there’s blood roaring in your head. You steady yourself against the sink, chest heaving beneath the loose shirt that you're sure belongs to Jeongguk. It feels surreal. The harsh light of your bathroom is hurting your eyes but you keep staring at the tests, the new information sinking in slowly. Suddenly you’re hyper-aware of your stomach, how the band of your underwear digs into the flesh of your hips. You can’t think about anything else because it hits you then. What those tests mean apart from the positive two lines, you keep blinking at.

Pregnant. You’re pregnant.

→

The first person you call isn't Jeongguk. It isn't your mother either or Yoona.

It's Soomi.

She picks up on the fourth ring, mumbling a hello that you struggle to hear over the sound of Bora whining in the background.

“Bora! Sit down!” Soomi’s not focused on your conversation yet. Her voice is tight, clear irritation radiating through her words. Something hits the floor and there’s a shrill echo of Bora’s cries ringing through the line. Soomi sighs heavily. “Give me a second. I’ll call you back.” And then the line goes dead.

Is that your future? Is that what you really want?

For some reason you’re crying. There’s a hot heaviness in your eyes that throbs dully in your skull, the coming of a headache. You wipe them away with the back of your hand, the lump in your throat making it hard for you to speak. Why did you even call Soomi in the first place? You can’t remember why the panic you’d felt had driven you to dialling her number. Especially when she planted that seed of doubt in your head in the first place.

When she rings again, you’re tempted to decline the call. Soomi would even question why you’re telling her first instead of your mother or Jeongguk. But you don’t know what else to do right now. You can’t just throw all the tests away and act like this isn’t happening. There’s a being developing inside you right now. A person that is both you and Jeongguk. And quite frankly you’re terrified.

“Hey, sorry for that. Bora’s started throwing tantrums now. I just had to talk to her.” She sounds exhausted.

You nod, realizing a second later she can’t see you. “Uh, yeah.” Your throat is clogged. “It’s fine, don't worry.”

“How are you then?” There’s a click of a door closing behind her.

“Um…” You can’t say it out loud, the words crawling back down your throat. Soomi’s quiet down the line, like she can feel the fear in your hesitation.

“Y/N? What’s going on? Are you alright?”

You still can say anything, a tremble in your fingers that you can’t control. “I’m…” She waits, patient, and you know her eyebrows are furrowed together like they usually do when she’s concerned.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just say it all at once? Rip it off like a bandage? You settle for that, forcing the rushed sentence out of your mouth. “I’m pregnant.”

“You’re what?” You open your mouth again but Soomi beats you to it. “You’re pregnant?” There’s an incredulity there like she’s still trying to process what you’d said. At least you are in the same boat.

“Yes,” You reply, finally stepping out of the bathroom. The tests are shoved far into the back of the cupboard. You’d taken care to store the boxes away too instead of dumping them into the trash. But now you long to sit, and the couch seems incredibly inviting. It’s weird to crawl under the blanket, knees curled into your stomach. There’s a life blossoming there. A whole life.

“Oh my god! Congratulations!” She’s practically vibrating down the line and her happiness has you pausing. Why is someone else more excited for your pregnancy than you? “How far along are you? Does Jeongguk know yet? I’m so happy for you!”

“...I don’t know how far along I am. I just found out.” Your voice is monotone in comparison to her bubbly questions. She catches on quickly, falling silent at the lack of joy in your tone.

“Oh. Are you alright? Weren’t you trying for kids?” Now she’s confused, hesitant to be happy when you’re not. The problem is, there’s a small part of you that’s elated. Finally, after all that time, here’s what you wanted. Handed to you on a silver platter. But you’re too wary of it all right now. There’s ominousness creeping into your beautiful vision of a family, staining the picture dark. What if this rips you apart? What if it makes you hate Jeongguk? What if this is the wrong time? What if you’re a shit mother? There’s too much worry looming over parenthood. And it’s sitting on your shoulders.

The tears reappear, dripping down your cheeks fast.

“We stopped,” You croak out.

“Oh.” Soomi’s silence leaves your head throbbing. You know why you called. For reassurance. Someone needs to tell you it’s going to be okay. Not Yoona. Not Jeongguk. Not your mother. Soomi was the only one who could provide the reassurance you desperately needed. “Y/N, are you happy?” She asks a heartbeat later, like she knows your thoughts.

You hiccup. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to feel or what to do.”

There’s a small hum from her lips. “Okay. How about you get a glass of water first. Anything you want to drink.” She’s right. Your hiccups keep interrupting her and they’re uncomfortable. You leave the phone on the couch, returning after you’d chugged some water. “You’re back,” She sounds relieved, sighing through the line. You mumble a sound of affirmation, digging your cold feet under the fluffy blanket. “Remember what I said about parenthood?”

“Yes.” Of course you do, you hadn’t forgotten a word she’d said.

“I know I mentioned all the negative things but I don’t want you to lose sight of all the little wonderful things. Having a child is both a blessing and a nightmare — and I know it sounds hypocritical of me to be talking about all the nice things that come with being a parent when I just had an argument with my daughter, but I promise you, there’s so many moments that you’ll cherish during this part of your life. It’ll change a lot, some for the worse, some for the better. But it’s worth it. So worth it.”

You stay silent, shuffling in the cushions. There’s an urge to touch your stomach and you give into it, feeling the warm skin beneath your palm that’s going to stretch out, making room for the child within you.

“You know,” Soomi continues, a waver in her voice. “I cried the first time Bora could walk without support from either of us. She wasn’t that big and I was so proud of her but it felt like my baby was getting too old already. And now I can hardly get her to sit down.” She laughs softly. The memory she’s shared warms you. You can see it now, the tiny little feet, the unsure steps. “You know that’s waiting for you, right? With Jeongguk’s energy, that kid will never be able to stay still.”

And then you’re smiling, an easy one that tugs at the corners of your mouth. The pads of your fingertips trail along your stomach. “He’ll be so happy,” You murmur. There’s not even a slight bump but you already feel different, now that you’re aware.

“I know he will. I saw him staring at all the kids when we were at the lake house. He really wanted this.”

You hum again, but the mention of the lake house makes you heart break. “I told him I wanted to stop trying then.”

“Really? Why? If I may ask.”

You want to say it’s because of her, but you bite your tongue. Soomi may be a bit harsh sometimes but she was a sweet person and didn’t need to have that held over her head. “Just rethought it.” You settle for that instead. “Wasn’t sure if I was ready for parenthood just yet.” She’s quiet, like she can tell it was because of her.

“Are you happy, Y/N?” She asks again, not addressing the elephant in the room

You pause to think about her question. Really think about it. Jeongguk would be ecstatic. Over the damn moon. Yoona’s been nudging you to join her in this next stage of life and your parents would be overjoyed too. And you? What are you feeling?

“I’m happy.” There’s a sense of surety there. No matter what happens, you longed for this just as much as Jeongguk has. It’s a blessing. Even if it’s hard at the end of it all, it’s worth it. “I’m really happy.”

Soomi’s voice has a lilt in it. “I’m glad for you. You know it’s going to be okay. Jeongguk loves you too much to ever let either of you go.”

“I know,” You mumble, gaze on the door. “Do me a favour, don’t tell anyone yet.”

“Of course! My mouth is shut. Call me if you need anything, love. I need to check on Bora before she puts herself in danger.”

“Hmm, alright. I’ll call. And thank you Soomi.” You’re warm all over, skin buzzing with an emotion you can decipher.

“Anytime. I need to run. If you need a good doctor, I can refer you to one!”

“Thanks, I’ll let you know. Bye Soomi.”

It settles in when the line cuts, the feeling in your bones seeping into every limb. You are pregnant. There’s a miniature version of you and Jeongguk sitting inside your uterus. Evidence of your devotion to each other. Your love. You can’t stop touching your stomach beneath the safety of the blanket, the sheer wonder of it all still lost on you. Then Jeongguk is pushing the door open, and your hand drops from your abdomen. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbow, tie loosely pulled from its knot and there’s a glow in his brown eyes. You haven't seen them shine like that in months.

He toes his shoes fast and then he’s launching into the living room, a grin on his face that reaches your heart.

“Hello, my love. What’s got you so happy?" You tentatively ask. Jeongguk doesn’t reply, instead tackling you into the couch, firm arms wrapping around you. He holds you tight, this face buried into the hollow of your neck. You can feel his smile on your skin and your heart keeps fluttering. A wild butterfly caged in your chest.

“I got the promotion.” The alcohol reaches your nose then, remnants of his celebration still on his tongue. The words you want to share dance on your own tongue. But you keep them in check. Not now. You know when you’ll tell him. Soon, but not now.

“Really! I’m so proud of you. You deserve it, baby. You’ve worked hard.” You say into the tuft of his dark hair. He sighs against you, heart drumming against your chest. Content. “Let me warm your dinner. I’ll spoil you tonight.”

“I can think of other ways you can spoil me,” He grins, shifting so he can cup your chin, gently pulling you closer. You give in because you long to kiss him too. Have the surety of his warm mouth against yours, feel that love echo when you slip your tongue against his. He tastes like soju. But you brush it off, it’s probably not bad for the baby anyway. It’s not like you can tell him to stop and google whether this is safe for you. He’ll ask and you’re not ready to share this with him just yet. So you let Jeongguk push you onto the couch, mouth still latched onto yours. It’s easy to let go, lose yourself in his touch for a bit. Because it’s Jeongguk. The love of your life, the person who keeps you grounded, your best friend, and now the father of your child.

→

Soomi keeps an eye out for you at the party. She quietly orders virgins with you and the only person who seems to catch on is Jimin who keeps staring at her stomach with fear. But no one else is concerned, too busy exchanging stories over the table, their glasses clinking every once in a while. Taehyung keeps the liquor flowing, racking up a bill that’s going to bite your wallet. But you’ll let it slide for tonight — after all it is Jeongguk’s birthday.

The man in question is glowing, a never ending smile gracing his cheeks. The promotion at work came at the perfect time. He’s on a high, radiating pure unadulterated happiness. His joy spills over onto you and you can’t help but stay beside his side all night, eyes locked on his bright face. The laughter of your friends feeds the love blossoming in your heart and it positively combusts with joy when that sheepish smile creeps onto his face when everyone sings to him ‘happy birthday’. You leave the restaurant late; stories still being shared in the parking lot despite your friends halfway into their cars. Soomi sends you a wink as you carry Jeongguk towards the car and you catch the suspicious glance Jimin sends the two of you. They’ll have an interesting discussion later, you bet.

Jeongguk lets you drive, still woozy from the shots Taehyung urged down his throat. He doesn’t question that you hadn’t drank anything. You’d had a few bouts of morning sickness since you’d found out so avoiding alcohol in this situation was logical. Jeongguk thinks you’ve got a stomach bug. He accepted that explanation so easily, not remembering the last time you’d had unprotected sex. The ride home is content and quiet, Jeongguk cuddled within himself in that passenger seat. He’s beyond happy and it’s evident in the fond gentle glances he’s giving you. You pretend to not notice them, vibrating hard in your seat from the nerves wreaking havoc in your guts. Your fingers tap incessantly on the driving wheel, an accompaniment to the drumming of your heart.

You’ll tell him tonight.

The package is already at home, hidden in your underwear drawer. It's simple enough. A white ribbon tied neatly over the thin velvet black box and within it a positive pregnancy test, placed neatly inside a plastic zip bag, the cap on the tip on.

You’d thought about how you wanted to tell him over and over again but this seemed like the best idea. It’s not extravagant or dramatic and yet, for some reason you’re still so nervous.

When you kill the engine, your car now nearly slotted in the underground packing of your apartment, the silence is replaced by your rapid heartbeat. You turn to find Jeongguk staring at you, doe like eyes glimmering in the harsh glow on the parking lot lights. His mouth is turned upwards, cheeks flush from the alcohol in his system. Before you can say anything, distract yourself from your nerves, Jeongguk’s tugging off his seatbelt and leaning into your space, mouth moving onto yours. It’s a soft kiss, one that has you buzzing like you’re a teenager again, falling in love for the first time. He keeps a warm palm on the nape of your neck, deft fingers gently pressing into the sensitive skin there. You can’t help but curve into his caress, moaning quietly against his warm lips. When he pulls away you move to chase for it. He stops you by pecking your nose, leaving you blinking at him, hands clenched in your lap.

“Thank you for tonight. I love you,” Jeongguk murmurs against your forehead, fingers weaving towards your own seatbelt. He unbuckles you quickly, hands now on your waist as he urges you into his lap. You clamber on top of him, mindful of the gears that hit your knees. It takes a while to settle but when you do Jeongguk holds you to his chest, fingers running along your side. Your heartbeat is in your stomach now and you long to blurt it out. He catches your mouth against his before you can say anything, tongue coaxing you open. You kiss because if you try and reply to his statement now you’ll end up crying. You don’t know how long to stay like this, making out in the basement of your apartment building like teenagers trying to hide from prying eyes. It’s nice until your hip starts to hurt from the uncomfortable position.

“Let’s go inside. I have a present for you.” You’re breathless in his arms, mouth wet from his lips against you. Jeongguk quirks an eye at that, shifting so that his crotch brushes against your stomach.

“Really? What kind of present?” He asks it slyly, hips rolling against you. You reward his bluntness with a smack on his shoulder, before opening the car door. “Ow! You can’t hit me, it’s my birthday.”

“Hurry up or you won’t get your present,” you reply, slipping off of his lap.

“Not far.” He whines, but he gets out anyway, shutting the door behind him.

“I don’t care.” You say, smiling back at him. “It’s a good one I promise.”

The questions start there and Jeongguk doesn’t stray far from you as you head towards your apartment. He keeps a palm pressed against the small of your back, pulling away only to give you space to open the door. Inside he latches himself onto you again, dropping kisses along your neck until you gently push him on to the couch.

“Wait here. Let me get the present.” He stares after your retreating figure when you head for the bedroom, curiosity making him finally stay silent. You return with a small black box and his mind starts guessing. A tie? The box isn’t big enough. A toy? What toy is that small? A pen? Why would you give him a pen?

He accepts the box cautiously, fingers immediately tugging at the white ribbon knot. He can feel your eyes on him as his fingers close around the lid. It makes him pause, gaze flickering towards your face because he isn’t sure what this is at all. Then he yanks the lid off, vision landing on the object within the box.

It takes him a moment to realise it’s a pregnancy test.

“Are you serious?” His hands are quivering but he plucks up the plastic bag that contains it anyway, dropping the box to the ground. His eyes are on you and there’s tears welling within your own. Jeongguk’s head feels hot and his chest is too small, heart widely slamming into his ribs. “Are you actually serious? You’re pregnant? You’re pregnant!” The smile that breaks onto his face makes you laugh with joy and all you can do is nod your head. Jeongguk moves so fast from the couch, wrapping his arms around in. Your chests are pressed against each other, hearts communicating through rapid thumping. He keeps murmuring it against your ear, like he can’t believe just yet.

“You’re actually pregnant. Oh my god. We’re having a baby.” He’s trembling in your arms and when he pulls away to look at you, you hold him steady. There’s a twinkle in his eyes that makes your heart stop and then he’s kissing you. It’s soft and sweet but there’s an urgency with every press of his lips against yours, one that you feel too. You long to have him closer, fingertips already digging into the fabric of his shirt. It should be off on the floor right now. Jeongguk groans into your mouth when your hands slip underneath the fabric. He’s practically levitating right now. It’s impossible for him to get any happier. And then a thought hits him so hard he’s left breathless when he pulls away from your lips.

“I’m going to be a father? Holy shit — I — you’re actually pregnant?”

“Yes, Jeongguk.” The shock on his face makes you giddy. You gesture to the test still clutched in his hand. “I really am.” You catch the wonder that whispers in his eyes when he glances at the test once more. And then he’s on you, hands settling on your waist as he kisses you like you’re oxygen and he’s drowning. His erection keeps nudging against your stomach and the movement has you dripping instantly, panties sticking to your core. When you naturally roll against him, you don’t expect Jeongguk to pull away.

“What? What’s wrong?” He swipes his tongue over his rose lips, looking abashed. His eyes are still glued to your stomach.

“Shit — sorry. I didn’t mean to rub against you like that.”

You blink at him. Hard. Was the man who literally fucked a baby into you apologising for rubbing his erection against you? Really?

“Jeongguk,” You begin, attempting to sound patient. “Are you not going to sleep with me this whole pregnancy?”

“Can we do that though? Have sex? It won’t put the baby at risk?” He’s genuinely concerned, a hand coming out to brush against your tummy.

“I’ll be fine, Jeongguk. The baby’s only five weeks anyway.”

“You sure?” The warmth of his hand against you has you radiating, glowing bright like a star in the middle of the dark galaxy. You try not to preen under his attention, but the concern colouring his honey eyes makes your heart ache with fondness.

“Yes, I’ll be fine.” You try to hide that emotion with a nonchalant roll of your eyes. He notes it with a gentle scoff, the palm on your hand stills though.

The firmness in his voice makes your cheeks warm. But then he glances at you again. “You’re not tired? You don’t want to sleep?”

“Jeongguk, I suggest you take advantage of my libido before it disappears. You’ve already put a baby in me, what’s stopping you now?” He must read the irritation in your voice well because he stops being coy and settles a hand on your hip to pull you closer.

“Nothing, nothing at all,” He murmurs against your ear before easily lifting you up. The grin tugging at your lips is blissful, the feeling of Jeongguk’s sturdy arms guiding you to your bedroom licking at the flame in your core. You cling onto him, giggling in time with his slippers faintly pattering against the floorboards. You don’t know how he flicks on the lights in the room but he does so without letting you go, the smile curving at his own lips pressed against your chest.

Your back touches the mattress gently, the act tender in itself. The look Jeongguk gives you makes your heart flutter, a soft warmth building in your gut has his hands wander across along your body, pausing at your waist which he clutches firmly. He fits perfectly between your spread legs, the silk dress you'd donned for tonight hitched up your thighs, revealing spans of skin that Jeongguk keeps staring at. His eyes roam over your body, glittering in a manner that makes your fingers itch to close the distance between your bodies. You can't help but stare at back him, a stupid grin on your lips because this is really all yours. He's yours and you love him. And he loves being yours too. You can tell it by the way Jeongguk leans down, slotting his lips against yours, his body pressed firmly into you. The twitch of his clothed cock against your core has you groaning into his mouth, the sparks that journey across your skin from every slight touch he gives your body intoxicating. Your hands are on him a beat later, slipping into his soft brown curls. When your nails scrap against the nape of his neck Jeongguk shivers, a minute movement that has his hips driving harder into yours. The grip that lands on your bare thighs triggers an arch in your back, lining you perfectly against him. There hasn't been an exchange of words yet but you can feel it in every roll of his hips, in the way his lips slip down to your neck, painting purple and blue marks along your skin and in the way he glances at you when he finally pulls away, petal lips bruised and a glaze in his honey eyes that makes you want to do dangerous things.

"I love you." There's another kiss on your lips. His hands are in your underwear, fingertips toying with your wet folds. "I love you so much. So much." Another kiss and an expert flick against your clit. You think your heart might burst. It feels too full of adoration, bruising your ribs with every erratic thump inside of your chest. You just tug him closer, directing his mouth towards yours again and kissing him hard enough to leave a print of your ardour for him on his lips for eternity.

"I love you too." You mumble it into the air, the sentence soft and warm, containing all the adoration you feel towards him. Jeongguk beams, brighter than the sun. Your love for him blinds you but you don't mind it. No one has ever made you as happy as Jeongguk has. No one has ever made you feel like Jeongguk has. You love him so much that it hurts. And you know he loves you just as much too.

It comes easy, the way your clothes fall off your body as he kisses you. Suddenly your bare bodies in a bed, the desperation in your touches heady. He leaves you breathless when he finally settles himself between your legs. The first lick of his tongue against your dripping core has your hands balling into the sheets. Jeongguk doesn't wait for you to register the feeling of his mouth against your cunt. He hikes your legs over his shoulders, tongue slipping deep into your cunt. You jolt from the intrusion but Jeongguk pins you down, grip firm as he forces you to take every deft swipe of his tongue against your pussy. He knows how to unravel you, and he does so quickly, not holding back anything as he licks you open, groaning deep into your cunt. It's the little sighs that do you in, the mumbles of praise that he murmurs into you that spark something in your gut.

"Jeongguk." It's hitting you fast, a tremble in your thighs that you can't control spreading warmth throughout your body.

He hums, parting from your cunt with his mouth covered in your need. It gives you a moment to breathe, but then he plants a kiss on your folds and you feel your brain melt into mush. "You taste so good," Jeongguk murmurs, before swirling his tongue around your clit - a skilled motion that elicits a rush of slick from your core. "So fucking good," he reiterates, despite you protesting squirms, the hands on your hip unforgiving. And then his tongue is back inside of you, fucking you open with a vigour that leaves you heady. There's nothing that can stop your fingers slipping into his hair, nails scraping his scalp with how hard you grip at the locks on his head. Your hips rise subconsciously, grinding his face into your cunt and slipping his tongue deeper and deeper until you feel it snap. He reads your body too well, the heave in your chest enough indication that your high is hitting you. And just before it does, his tongue is on your clit, licking at the sensitive bud the way he knows you like it. It happens all at once, a heat bursting through your system and your thighs suddenly begging to be clamped shut. But Jeongguk keeps them open, laving at your core as you shudder beneath him, vision blank and your nerves tingling with pleasure.

The waves barely subside, but you force your eyes to focus, the gentle press of Jeongguk's lips on your cunt making your toes curl. When you glance down, gaze floating over Jeongguk finally departing from between your legs, your heart bursts. His face is flushed rouge, a pretty tint over his golden skin, and his curls are tumbling into his face mussed from your fingertips racking through his hair. Even from here you can see how hard he is, straining against the fabric of his boxers, the print of his cock reigniting a fire in your gut that blazes through your nerves straight to your core. He notes the direction of your gaze with a loop-sided grin before he's descending onto you, trapping you within his sturdy arms. His mouth is on yours a second later, tongue slipping against yours. The groan that melts down your throat has your heart thumping, and your hands travel down his back, yanking him down until his crotch is pressed right against your own. You like the way you taste on his tongue, and it shows by how you kiss him, lips eager for more and more. The moment wraps itself around you, needs forgotten for a moment as you learn each other through your kisses all over again. It leaves you breathless, a tiny sigh drifting from your mouth when you finally part, and the look in Jeongguk's dark eyes evoking a thrill through your system. It's the instinctual thrust of his hips into yours that has the mood changing, like a trigger has been set off because suddenly you're needy, pawing at him until he gives in. You can feel him against you, twitching into your heat, the damp spot building on the fabric a result of both of your desires. There's a chaste kiss along your neck, Jeongguk slowly working his hips into you, but the pulse inside of your core demands for something more. Your fingers tug at the band of his underwear, impatient as you push down the fabric. He just laughs, mouth pressed into the hollow of your neck, hips raised to assist in your ministrations. It takes some wiggling before they're off, discarded someone off the edge of the bed.

"Aren't you needy — oh fuck." Your hand is wrapped around his length; the twists you give around him shallow but you know him well enough to know where to apply pressure. It doesn't take long from Jeongguk to crumble into you, the breaths against your neck shallow and quick and his cock leaking all over your hand. He feels good like this, thick and velvet-like against your palm, a weight you ache to have in your mouth. But then your walls flutter, clenching on nothing as Jeongguk groans into your shoulder, his hips pistoning into your hand and your brain can focus on nothing but having him inside of you, filling you up like he should.

"Baby." There's a careful edge to his tones. The profanity he whispers a moment later melts into the heat of your skin. "Keep doing that and I'll cum." He feels taunt above you, like a string on the verge of snapping.

"You could do that inside of me," you retort, twisting your hips up. It's only a slight brush but Jeongguk is swearing into the heat of the air. His hands are on the back of your thighs in an instant, hoisting you up to meet him as he settles himself between your legs, the head of his cock nudging against your core.

"You're a menace," Jeongguk retorts, pressing his length into you. His eyes are on your core, marvelling at how wet you are, practically drenching his cock in your slick. It doesn't help that you look gorgeous like this underneath him, his hands wandering back to your waist as he tugs you closer. The soft smile gracing your lips makes his heart ache. He pushes in without really thinking it over, the urge to fill you up overriding any other thought in his brain. The gasp you let out urges his hips to hit deeper, the feeling of your tight wet walls fluttering around his length euphoric. He loves every part of you but your cunt has a special place in his heart if he's being honest with himself. You fit around him perfectly, like you were made for him. Even after years of being with him it still takes him breath away, how easy you welcome his length into you, the noises you make when he's inside you. The first time you'd had sex Jeongguk had nearly cried. He'd never reached his climax that quick and it hit him hard, slamming into his body as he fucked you into the mattress. For some reason he feels the same way now, balls tight with his release, begging to coat your walls in his cum. He tries not to stare at your tummy but it's instinctual.

You sigh when he bottoms out, the curve of your bum pressed neatly against his balls. "But you love me."

Jeongguk scoffs lightly, rocking his hips hard. "I don't."

You ignore the butterflies that erupt in your stomach because you know he's lying. The look in his eyes as he gazes at your stomach says something else entirely.

"You do," you retort, raising your hips to match his thrusts. "You love me." The curve of his cock rubs right where you need him most, but it's not the hard pounding you expected from him tonight. He's going uncharacteristically slow, the drag inside of you steady but not fierce. Like he's purposely prolonging this, hanging onto the feeling of your cunt wrapped around him. There's a distance in his eyes that makes you clench your walls on purpose, hard enough to yank Jeongguk back into reality. He responds with a hard thrust, one that coaxes a low moan from your lips. He hums low, hips still driving you into the sheets.

"Yeah I do." It makes your heart swoop, the heat that envelopes your body intoxicating.

The sound of you meeting fills the room, your slick dripping over Jeongguk's length. For a moment you watch how he disappears inside of you. It leaves a tingle travelling through your body, to see how well you take his cock, how he groans deep every time he buries himself inside of you. But then your eyes flicker back to Jeongguk and his unwavering gaze on your stomach. Even the hands settled on your waist are ginger, gripping you like you're fragile. It's only then do you remember the concerns he'd voiced.

"You can go harder," you murmur, the tremor in your voice a result of how good he's fucking you despite the gradual pace he'd opted for.

Jeongguk hums, still driving his cock deep into you. He's not really concerned about that. His hips move slow because he's still marvelling at the fact that you're pregnant. That the child developing inside of you belongs to the both of you. That he fucked a baby into you. It sets off something oddly primal in his brain, dragging up an urge that he has to bite down on. That's why he goes slow, savouring every whimper and sigh that falls from your bruised lips. Etching the way your body feels under him, pliant to his desires. How you stare at him with that soft look clouding your gaze. He doesn't want this to end. Even with the pressure in his balls tight, he drags it out, drowning the words that threaten to torrent from his heart with the sound of your meeting. It echoes in the room, colouring the air with your mutual love for one another. He lets it wrap around him, revels in it. But then you're wrapping an arm around him and tugging him down. His face lands into your shoulder and his palms get lost in the sheets. He feels your legs straddle around his waist, drawing him deeper and deeper and Jeongguk feels his resolve crumble into dust.

"Oh." The little exclamation fluxes into the crook of your neck, lost into the heat of your skin. It ignites something in your gut and your hips rise to meet his quickening pace. There's an edge lingering behind your eyes and you want it so bad. Jeongguk hears the desperation in the way you whine his name and he moves with purpose now, pounding you hard into the sheets mercilessly. It's what you want and Jeongguk intends to give you everything and anything you desire. Especially now that you're the mother of his child.

His high hits him quick, a fast sweet thing that zips down his spine has your walls cling around his length, holding him in like you need him there. There's nothing that can stop it, but you join him a beat later, your bodies moulding into each other, space nonexistence as your rapid heartbeats fall into sync. You feel him twitch inside of you, cum pooling around your entrance, and your brain short circuits for a moment. There's a warmth ebbing from your core, echoing deep inside of your bones and the added feeling of your boyfriend caging you in his arms, his cum slipping from your core, unlocks something in your brain. It makes your heart fall into ease too, and you can't help but cling onto the security of his being even when he's mumbling about cleaning the two of you up in your ear.

"No.” The protest falls from your pouty lips, a neediness colouring your voice that Jeongguk can’t help but smile at. The glitter of his brown eyes leaves you swooning, but not as hard as the quick peck he delivers on your check a second later.

"Please," He reasons, voice gentle. "You're gonna feel gross tomorrow."

Your legs are reluctant but they fall away regardless. "Be quick."

He plants another faint kiss to your lips again before rising. "Of course I will."

→

“You stink.”

Jeongguk laughs at the grimace painting your features as he dives into you, smashing your nose straight into the pit of his armpit. He reeks, skin still slightly sticky from putting his muscles to work in the gym downstairs. Normally, he would prefer to drive out to the gym he’d signed a membership for. He’d usually shower there before heading home. However, since the news of the new addition to your family Jeongguk had been adamant on staying near home. Though the equipment in your building was arbitrary Jeongguk refused to go out further than needed. Even when you desperately wanted him to. For instance, right at this very moment. You can feel the revulsion forming at the back of your throat as he nuzzles you into his arms. You gag on it, shoving him off harshly. You can’t even muster a playful smile when he stares at you in confusion, face downcast.

“What’s wrong?” He says it innocently, oblivious to the stench that’s emitting from him. Normally, you don’t mind Jeongguk post work-out must. But something in your brain has registered his current sweat drenched body as the vilest thing on Earth.

“You stink,” You reiterate, shifting away from him. Jeongguk pouts, sniffing at the tight fabric that stretches over his firm muscles.

“That bad?”

“Like a pig. Please go shower.” You snap, snatching up the bag of salt and vinegar chips you’d left behind in you flee from Jeongguk. Usually you didn’t like the way this flavour lingered in your mouth, yet somehow with the past couple of days you’d demolished more packets of them than you’d ever eaten in a single month in your entire life.

“That is not the food a pregnant woman should be eating,” He comments, voice coloured with disdain. He attempts to pluck it out of your hands, but the sharp glare you target at him halts his movements immediately.

“Don’t talk to me when you smell like that.”

He frowns, raising a hand to rake through the damp brown curls sticking to his scalp. “You hate the way salt and vinegar crisps smell. Why the hell are you eating them at this rate?”

“Why are you not in the shower yet?” The eyebrow raised directly at him pokes at his composed temperament.

“Y/N. Apart from those, what else have you eaten today?” When you don’t answer Jeongguk evades your space once again. You cough back the bile that’s coating your throat.

“We had breakfast together, you know what I ate.” He doesn’t take the retort well, sighing heavily as he blinks at you.

“Breakfast was hours ago. What did you eat in between that? I want a serious answer.” There’s enough gravity in his words to make you mumble out what he’s asking to hear.

“....Bread.”

“Bread?” He repeats it like he can’t believe it, tone coloured with incredulity. “Bread. You just ate bread. Was there anything on the bread? Tell me it was a sandwich at least.”

“No. Just plain bread.”

The sigh he emits now is loud and full of frustration. “Bread? Y/N, you’re pregnant. You can’t just eat plain bread that’s not enough for you.”

“I know,” You snap back, a harshness in your voice that even surprises you. It makes Jeongguk pause for a moment, but you’re already too worked up to care about backtracking your thoughts. “I know that I should be eating nutritional stuff Jeongguk but I can’t. I literally can’t. I feel like I’m going to throw up over everything. It’s so hard to force food down my throat when I feel like it’s going to come right back up. So stop getting at me for that. I’m trying, I really am. Just let me be.”

He tilts his head, the perturbation in his eyes tangible. There’s a moment of silence between the two of you that lingers, Jeongguk’s gaze unwavering. It makes you feel uncomfortable, and you squirm away subconsciously. The minute moment has a dark cloud settling over Jeongguk’s features.

“I’m sorry,” He doesn’t make a move to kiss or hug you - which you’re both grateful for and irked at. It’s a peculiar feeling, repulsing your partner. “I get that your sensitive right now. I’m just worried. You know tomorrow is our first prenatal visit. You’re still taking the vitamins right?”

“I am,” You affirm, sticking your hand back into the packet of crisps. “And stop worrying. You’re making me nervous.”

He sighs again, rubbing the nape of his neck with unease. In one fluid motion he’s off the couch, taking the atrocious smell with him. “I’m sorry again. I’ll go shower. Please, just consider eating something that isn’t salt and vinegar chips while I’m gone. And drink some water. Please? For me?” The pleading look he gives you, doe eyes wide, plasters itself into your brain. You mumble a noise of agreement, waiting impatiently for him to walk away. He does so with one last long look at you, his eyes holding a miscellany of emotions that you can’t decipher. You don’t want to either, but the feeling they give you creeps through your chest, sneaking its way into your heart.

When he's gone, you dig into your crisps unabashedly, yet for some reason the taste of them leaves a film of disgust in your mouth. You try to chug it away with a bottle of water but it lingers, provoking a wave of nausea that has you taking deep breaths. The show playing on the television is monetarily forgotten as you wander into the kitchen in search of something to calm your unsettled stomach. The cluster of bananas sitting in your fruit basket catch your eyes simply because the vision of Jeongguk staring at you with that imploring gaze is still vivid in your memory. He’s right though - you’re not eating enough healthy food to sustain the current exertion your body is undergoing. Making a whole human being is incredibly difficult and it was taking a huge toll on your body. From the constant nausea to the back pain and sudden scent sensitivity, you were feeling overwhelmed. Your moods had suffered too, your patience running thin with Jeongguk more often than not. The lethargy your body feels seeps negativity into every aspect of your life - and it didn’t help that Seungmin was still breathing down your neck asking for reports left right and centre like you had nothing better to do with your time. There had been a couple of close calls at the office this week we’re you’d nearly snapped at him, but you’d managed to hold yourself back in time. However, all those repressed emotions are following you, reappearing in the way you flare up at Jeongguk for the slightest mistake. It’s starting to eat away at you, this guilt that you’re treating him like this despite your boyfriend trying his best to provide you with everything and anything you wanted. That’s why you grab one of the bananas, swiftly peeling it open.

But then the smell hits you, quick and hard leaving no room for you to force back the vomit that nearly spews from your mouth. You barely make it to the toilet in time, head held over the bowl as you hurl out the obscene amount of carbs you’d consumed for the day.

You don’t even hear his footsteps but the sudden hard gently rubbing on your back isn’t unwelcome. He murmurs softly over the sound of you heaving, crouching next to your huddle figure, worry violently radiating from him. It’s a few more retches before it passes, you mouth bitter with the remnants of salt and vinegar crisps. It makes your eyes sting, and suddenly your throat is clogged with a devastating despondency that swallows you whole. You don’t even feel like you can move from the toilet, holding your head in your hands as you choke back tears. You feel discomfort everywhere, and this is merely the beginning of your pregnancy. Seven weeks in and a part of you is ready to quit it all already.

Jeongguk coaxes your head up, gently urging a glass of water into your hands that you use to rinse your mouth out. The distress in his eyes doesn’t help quell any of the negative thoughts swimming in your brain.

“Are you okay?” He murmurs, voice soft in the echo of your bathroom. His hair is still damp from his shower, golden skin on display - evidence he didn’t have enough time to tug a shirt over his head before he came to your aid.

“Obviously not,” You bite back, and then immediately regret it when you see the fall on his face. “I don’t think I’ll throw up again, but I really want to lie down.” He nods, evidently glad you’ve given him something to work with.

“C’mere.” You make a motion at the mess in the toilet but he brushes it off. “Don’t worry, I’ll clean it.” His arms lift you up easily, gingerly guiding you to the couch where he nestles you in the soft cocoon of pillows and blankets, fretting incessantly over whether you truly feel comfortable or not. And then, he’s gone. You hear the sound of the toilet being scrubbed even though you’re in the living room and your nausea rears its ugly head for a split second. It’s a dangerous lurch in your stomach that thankfully subsides when you close your eyes and breath slow. Jeongguk walks in on this, shirt soaked with the droplets of water slipping from his curls and his phone in his hand. You don’t see it but he’s staring hard at his phone, eyes swiftly reading through a series of web-pages, bottom lip caught between his teeth. He wishes he could just text his mom the question plaguing his brain but he can’t. You’d both decided to hold back the pregnancy announcement until the first ultrasound. But in situations like this Jeongguk wishes that his mother knew. Or anyone he could trust for advice really. He feels like he’s waddling blindly through deep waters, constantly making the wrong decisions because you keep snapping at him. Even now that you’re reposed on the couch, face lax, he can still see how dull your skin is. It makes his heart ache. For the duration of your pregnancy the morning sickness had been present - but it had never been this bad. Coupled with your other symptoms, Jeongguk truly feels like the worst partner in the world for not being able to alleviate somewhat of your troubles.

That’s why he heads to the kitchen with purposeful steps, snatching up the half peeled banana you’d deposited on the counter before fleeing for the bathroom and dumping it into the trash. You blink your eyes open to the sudden sound of Jeongguk knocking pots onto the stove and rummaging deep through the fridge.

“What are you doing?” You croak, voice weak over the droning of the television.

Jeongguk twists to face you, a tiny smile on his lips but his eyes are nervous. He asks it anyway because if he does nothing he’ll feel useless. “How do you feel about ginger tea?”

“I’m listening,” You say. The smile on your lips is tired, but the fact that it’s there is enough confirmation to ease the worry that had become a permanent fixture in Jeongguk’s heart.

→

His jittering is getting on your nerves. Jeongguk’s always been one to move around to alleviate his anxiety but by doing so at this very moment, he’s adding to yours. You already feel sick to your stomach, the candescene of the clinic lights sparking an ache in your eyes. Instinctively, you reach out from your perch in the leather chair, giving his jerky knee a firm but tight squeeze. The movement halts immediately and from your peripheral gaze you note the sheepish smile that spreads across your boyfriend’s lips.

“Sorry,” he whispers into the sterile air. Hospitals always have that sharp alcohol smell and you’re quickly coming to the conclusion that you don’t like that smell at all.

“It’s okay,” you return. “You’re just making me nervous, babe.”

He’s got your hand in his a second later. “I know. I’m sorry. I just can’t believe this is real.”

You huff. “Well you better start believing. This is very much real.” Maybe that’s what’s causing the mini freak-out in your mind. The gravity of the situation was slowly starting to dawn on you. Maybe it was the smell of the clinic, or maybe it was the equipment surrounding both of you. But it was all becoming very real that this was happening.

Jeongguk seems to have noted the flash of panic flooding your features but before you can say anything the door clicks open and a sharp lady with pin straight hair walks in.

“Good morning, Mr and Mrs Jeon. Apologies for keeping you waiting. I hope everything is alright.” She moves quickly, dropping a chart on the counter beside the wall before turning to face the both of you. You quirk an eyebrow at how she addresses you but Jeongguk doesn’t make a comment, instead quickly rising to give her a small bow.

“Morning Doctor Lee, everything’s alright. Just some morning sickness and fatigue but otherwise she’s doing okay.”

She grants you a small glance, the smile on her face gentle. “That’s to be expected. There’s some remedies I can suggest but for the most part you just have to work through it. Otherwise, we can get into the first ultrasound.”

You give her a nod, hand still intertwined with Jeongguk’s and a strange knot tight in your throat.

“Alright, go ahead and lie down for me,” Lee says, dimming the lights in the room. She raises your shirt up when you’ve gotten comfortable, handing you a paper sheet to prevent the gel from staining your clothes. Your exposed belly in the faint glow of the monitor screen ticks of something in your head. But you bury that feeling away, focusing on the feeling of Jeongguk’s callused palm against your own.

“Okay, just undo your pants and tug them down for me.” You do as instructed, wiggling in the seat until the curve of your stomach is out for all to see. You can feel Jeongguk’s eyes on it, the sudden squeeze he bestows your hand a clear indicator.

“The gel is warmed but it still might be a little bit uncomfortable,” Lee continues. She’s right, but you let her spread it around anyway, the pounding in your heart frantic. “So we’re going to do a simple heart-tracing,” she says as she presses the probe into your skin. “This is just a general check on how your baby is developing.” You nod again, ignoring the deft hard press of the probe and she shifts it around

“See if you look here.” Your eyes snap right to the monitor, mind trying to decipher the blobs on the screen into a person growing inside of you. “There’s your baby’s arm, and right there is the head and neck. They’re developing very well. Look there’s the rib cage, and there’s the spine.”

“Wow,” Jeongguk murmurs into the silence of the room.

Lee laughs, pressing the probe in a little deeper. “There’s the heart, and if I go down… Yes, there’s the stomach. And right there is your umbilical cord. Everything seems to be coming along well. Oh, look!” You can’t even rip your gaze away from the screen if you wanted to. “There’s the baby moving, see how the arm is raising?”

You can see it, a tiny slight movement that you don’t even register happening within you. Your baby is moving. Maybe you let out a little gasp, maybe your grip on Jeongguk’s hand goes taunt, but suddenly this seems real with a clarity you’ve never felt before.

“Alright, so I’m seeing no anomalies. So we’ll do a crown-rump length measurement. This will give us a possible date of birth for your baby. But from the information you gave you’re thinking you’re around nine weeks along, right?”

“Yes.” Your voice feels far from your body.

“Okay, let me just take a look at the rest of your body. I can see that your bladder is full, that’s good,” she says. You zone out then, lost in the sudden violent realisation that you’re growing a life inside of you. It feels slightly terrifying in the faint blue glow of the room. And it worsens when Jeongguk starts asking questions, mumbling about your food aversions and diet. Doctor Lee responds in that calm collected tone of her’s, giving him suggestions that you see him eagerly internalise. Yet you don’t hear much of what she says, too busy staring at the image on the monitor.

“Would you like me to take a picture?” Lee suddenly states. “We can’t determine gender at this stage but I could take a few pictures of the baby and have them printed out for you.”

“Yes,” you say. “We’d like that.”

Lee nods, the softness of her gaze enough to ground you for a moment. “Let me just move this around here. We’d like one with the baby up and in a good position.” You can’t tell if Jeongguk is breathing beside you, his sudden silence vaguely concerning. But this his fingertips feather down your side, reassuring, a reminder that he’s here for you.

“Alright then, that sums up what we’re able to do for your first ultrasound. I just need to check some of the reports and then I’ll get back to you. Here’s some towels so you can clean yourself up.” She leaves you buttoning your pants up, the lights back on and a weight sitting heavy on your shoulders.

“Our kid is gorgeous.” Jeongguk breaks the silence with that, tugging your hand into his once more.

“We haven’t even really seen him, Jeongguk,” you return. There’s a delirious smile pulling at your lips. Yes, you’re worried about this new challenge. Parenthood truly did not feel like a joke, but every time you look at Jeongguk. See the bright adoration blooming in his eyes, that fear can’t help but subside. It virtually disappears when he brushes a kiss against your forehead, plucking up the tissues you’d used to wipe the gel off.

“Him? How do you know our baby is a boy, hmm?” There’s the thud as the tissues hit the bottom of the garbage can. You shift to help him clean up but Jeongguk stops you with a firm palm against your belly, honey eyes staring at you with tenderness.

“I don’t know,” you return. “I think it’s a boy. But I don’t really care. I just want a healthy baby.”

He flicks your nose fondly. “I feel the same way, my love. Everything seems to be going well so far. I just need you to eat a little better. You heard what Doctor Lee said.”

“I know,” you groan. “But the baby hates everything! It’s not my fault I’m not hungry.”

“I know, my love. But you still need to eat. Where do you want to go for lunch today? I’m thinking Paul’s.” Jeongguk sweeps the rest of the mess up, ever so diligent and nit-picky. “I’m craving pasta.”

“Fine, but don’t expect me to finish anything. Those portions are always too —”

“Mr Jeon?” The door swings open, Lee striding in with an envelope and her chart tucked underneath her white coat. “Here’s the ultrasound photo. As for the estimation date, we’re thinking around May 17th. If you have any other questions we can discuss them now.”

“I think we’re clear of any questions right now,” Jeongguk responds, gently taking the envelope from her outstretched hand. “Thank you, Doctor Lee.”

“Alright, let me know if anything happens or if any questions arise,” she says. “I’ll see you at your next appointment.” She sends you off with a smile, and the worry that claws at your insides ebbs away the moment your feet leave her office.

It’s in the car that you rip open the envelope. It feels weird, holding the picture in your hands. Because that’s your baby. That’s something you and Jeongguk made together. A life forming inside of you. Jeongguk leans into your space, a hand on your thigh as your both stare at the picture together, attempting to pinpoint where the arms and legs are forming. It’s surreal, knowing that this was happening inside of you right now.

“That’s our baby,” you whisper. Jeongguk grins, planting a warm kiss on your check.

“Yeah, that’s our baby.”

→

Your bump grows steadily over the course of your pregnancy. Suddenly waist bands are too tight, jeans don’t clasp shut, and you’re left rummaging through your closet for anything that sits loose enough to alleviate your discomfort. Jeongguk’s sweatpants swiftly migrate to your closet becoming a favourite item for you to don until one day Soomi insists on taking you maternity shopping. It’s not your favourite activity, to be honest. The harsh lights in the changing rooms illuminate your drastically changing body, bouncing off the roundness of your belly. It’s surreal, to see yourself alter like this, a totally new person staring back at you from the reflection. But you amuse her regardless, not minding the loose fitted clothes she swamps over you with that delicate smile of hers.

You and Jeongguk tell your parents first, during one late afternoon lunch, before announcing the news to everyone else you know. There’s hesitation in the initial reception, expected comments at the lack of your matrimony being muttered amongst your grandparents and parents. But that quickly dissipates when you hand them a picture of a recent ultrasound. They fall in love immediately, cooing and simpering with adoration for the child growing within you. It’s around then that the glow sneaks around, your skin vibrant and the smile on your lips unwavering. But the pregnancy isn’t perfect, there are still bouts of morning sickness and a growing pain at the base of your back that refuse to disappear despite advice for others and consistent care from Jeongguk himself. You manage through it though, a strange feeling blossoming in your chest whenever he places an absentminded palm against your belly, like a security blanket shielding you away from the bitter coldness of the world.

You can’t help but think about that feeling as you stare yourself in the mirror, sans clothes, tummy spreading far from body. With your first trimester essentially over, the changes in your body have become more rapid. It’s been odd to glance down and find a swell there instead of your usual tummy with its rolls and softness. Your fingertips give in, poking gently at the skin there. It’s still soft — just different, a firmness that tugs at your heart meeting your fingers. You should have gotten into the shower ages ago, a meeting awaiting your morning at the office. Jeongguk’s up too, the faint padding of his slippers echoing through the walls. You don’t realise how close he’s drawing until the door slides open, brown curls and wide eyes appearing from the sudden gap. There’s no need to hide, his gaze falling on your bare skin gently.

“Are you going to get in any day soon or is your body more fascinating to look at?” He’s annoyed. Despite your insistence Jeongguk doesn’t like the idea of you going into a stressful environment that you hate on most days, especially when his new position covers both of you. Seungmin doesn’t know yet too, and your manager is still a pain in the ass on good days. He doesn't want that around you when your body is preoccupied with creating life. But the idea of wasting away on the couch watching reruns of sitcoms and shunning away the comfort foods you once enjoyed sounds abhorrent. You’d rather be in the office while you can, and your colleagues are wonderful to — better company than a television show.

“You don’t think my body is fascinating?” He sees your pout in the mirror, shifting forward with a small smile on his own lips.

“I never said that.” The words wrap around you the same time his arms do, strong and firm but delicate in how he handles you. His lips meet your neck a beat later, the adoration they leave sinking straight into your heart. It warms you from head to toe, burning when his hands fall to your belly instinctively. “It’s more than fascinating.”

You hum, rocking into his chest. “Is it?” Your eyes don’t leave the mirror, engraving this image into the base of your mind where it will live with a clarity as clear as the sky. Jeongguk on the other hand is too busy looking at you, eyes trained on your face like he’s staring at a constellation hanging high in the velvet of the night. His hands travel, dropping low to settling at your hips. His own brushes against you, want evident through the loose fabric of his shorts.

“Do you want me to show you how fascinating it is?”

“I'm gonna be late for work, Jeongguk.”

“You don’t have to go at all,” he returns, a gentle press of his lips on your neck accompanying the statement.

“And why would I want to do that?” You retort, but your resolve is weak, body already pliant to the gentle shift of him as he draws you close.

“You don’t have to want to not go – I can just make you.”

“Jeon–”

His wandering hand is now at your chest, the fingertips that trail along your skin are delicate and yet they leave blazes of heat in their wake. “Please,” he burns the word into your skin, lips leaving a soft mark. “Just for today.” You feel it then, the crumble of your resolution. It happens the moment his hand slips low, right between your legs, grazing soft the way you like it. His other hand stays at your chest, squeezing soft before he catches your nipple between his fingertips. A precise flick, and the press of his tongue on your neck has you succumbing faster than the shore does to the hungry tide.

“Jeon–” He makes you watch, fingers landing right where you need them, sure deft presses against the nerves there. Your thighs are drawn taunt already, heightened by the sensitivity of your newfound body. It catches you gaze in the mirror, that bump, peaking forward as he works your open with his fingers. You can feel his muscles shift, ready to spin you, lift you up onto the counter like he’s done before and find his way between your legs. But you decide then, that you don’t want that just yet.

“Wait – wait, Jeongguk. Wait, I want something else first.” He halts, pauses with a curiosity in his dark gaze that makes you nervous for some reason. In baited silence you turn, shuffling away from him and sinking on your knees in a fluid motion.

“You don’t have to –” He starts, but you don’t let him finish.

“But I want to you.”

“Baby.” It’s laced with apprehension, but his cock is hard at the sight of you like this, pliant and on your knees, a pretty picture burned into his memory. “Your knees,” Jeongguk mumbles, gripping the counter when your mouth his dick through the fabric of his shorts. “You’re going to be in pain.”

“You know I like pain, Jeongguk.” And then your tugging the fabric down, sighing when he springs out, hard and needy. He’s already leaking, tip red and wet. He wants to say something, but it vanishes when you swallow him whole, head bumping into the back of your perfect throat with an evil ease. The groan that falls from his mouth and unearthly, painting the air warm. He’s forgotten how good your mouth is, how eager you work your tongue around him, fast and quick over delicate nerves that fall victim to your ministrations quick. He’s not normally this fast in reaching his edge, but the sight of you, naked and full in the mirror plague the back of his mind. It shouldn’t be hot but that fact that you’re carrying his child does something to base part of Jeongguk’s brain that he can’t put into words. It’s what drives his hips forward, motions muted because he doesn’t want to overwhelm you. But you don’t care, forcing more of his length down your throat until you gag, lips glistening bright under the bathroom lights.

“Baby,” Jeongguk mumbles, his hand reaching to pull you off his cock. “Baby – please – gonna cum if you don’t stop.”

You pull off with an obscene wet pop, licking your lips sinfully. “But that’s what I want.” You see him twitch, length dripping wet.

“No,” Jeongguk whines. “Not when I wanna cum in you.”

“Really?” He doesn’t even know why you’re surprised.

“Yes,” he answers anyway. “Really.” You’re pulled from the ground softly, and spun to face the mirror with care. His clothes hit the ground then, firm tan arms wrapping around you. They bend you forward, rest your hands onto the counter so you have support when he sinks down behind you, nudging your legs open with purpose.

“Thought you wanted to – oh fuck.” Jeongguk hums at that, tongue slipping right between your folds. He licks you open with a fierceness that has your knees shaking, deft movements filled with urgency. It sparks that heat in your gut, allows to spread fast through your body as his face burrows deep between your legs. His hands hold you still though, carefully protecting your belly against the bathroom counter. You can’t focus on anything but the feeling of his tongue sliding in deep, coaxing your walls apart eagerly. When he finally parts from your cunt you’ve forgetting how to breathe, forehead pressed against the cool counter and your lungs heaving.

“Good girl,” Jeongguk comments, dropping a swift kiss on your core. “Wet like this just for me, right?”

You sigh, a tiny noise of agreement. “Just for you.”

Jeongguk doesn’t comment, gripping you hard as he rises again, cock nudging right against your cunt with ease. He doesn’t move though, hands coming to gently lift your head. He forces you to look, honey eyes coloured dark even in the glimmer of the lights. His fingers journey along your features, quietly claiming the skin they touch.

“All of this, only for me, right?”

“All for you,” you immediately comply, hips shifting back. You want him so bad it hurts.

He pauses at your belly, settling at the base of it, swell cupped in his hand. “Only for me.” You don’t reply at first, because it feels like something Jeongguk is saying to himself. But then he looks at you, waiting, the grip on your body firm and unforgiving.

“Yours.” It’s whispered into the morning, like a secret of the night instead. Jeongguk smiles, that bright grin you’ve grown to love feeding the fire that burns fast within you.

“Mine,” he brands the word into your skin with a kiss on your neck. “Forever?”

“Forever.”

He buries himself deep them, splitting you open with one sure thrust that coaxes a moan from the back of throat. It melts into the air, walls already adjusting to his length. You can feel the slick coating your inner thighs, tainting the base of his crotch and dripping down his length. You sway, but Jeongguk holds you up, keep your gaze focused on the mirror as his hips draw away, before returning back with a force that catches your tongue between your teeth. He fucks you hard with a need you’ve never felt before, a purpose driving his hips forward until you feel your body given way, the sound of your meeting resounding through the room, hard and fast and wet. And yet his hands hold you together carefully, delicate with your fragility but firm like he needs you to know something. You think you do, and this side of him is both pleasant and terrifying. Nobody has ever touched you like this before, fucked you open like this before. But then again Jeongguk did say only him. And he meant it, judging from how his hand snakes to your cunt, landing right where you need him as if he’s memorised your body, engraved parts of him into his brain forever. It feels like he wants you to do the same, with how hard his hips drive forward, moaning low in your ear as his body tenses. You’re close too, but not there yet. Jeongguk can feel that, knows that tremor in your thighs is not enough. So he bites it back, holds that drop in his gut as he moulds your body into his, thrusts deep and slow.

“God – Jeon – J-Jeongguk – I can’t – can’t–” You look gorgeous like this, head lolling back and your hips shift to meet him.

“You can,” his fingers move faster, determined. “Be good for me, hmm?”

“But–” It appears faster than you’d like, a violent flash that pulls from within as Jeongguk unravels you. You can still feel him, buried deep and throbbing hard against your walls. Your legs want to give in but Jeongguk holds you up, forces you through it with shallow bucks of his hips against your heat, groaning low when your walls tighten around his length. He falls then, right into the heat of his want, spilling deep inside of you with choked whine and a kiss against your shoulder. It feels long and like it happens in a blink at the same time, but even as he stills you can feel him inside you, twitching around the pool of cum dripping from your cunt.

There’s another kiss on your shoulder as Jeongguk slowly pulls himself out. His cum follows quick, slipping from your cunt with is. You note how he watches it, how his fingers twitch with the instinct to stuff it back inside. You can’t help but roll your eyes. That was something you did when you were trying and there’s already proof of that effort right in your belly. He moves to plant another kiss though, right on your cheek while his hands sneak down to fulfil their desire. You halt them with a gentleness.

“I need to shower, Jeongguk.” The comment produces a pout on his lips. You kiss it away. “You have work too, babes. Get in with me.” He complies, still insistently drifting his hands downwards. A simple man honestly. With very simple needs.

→

With Jeongguk’s new position and your new predicament changes have rapidly happened. The search for a bigger apartment commenced right after your birthday announcement. At first, you didn’t find it necessary to uproot your whole life from your current apartment, with its quaint location and scattered memories. But Jeongguk wasn’t thinking about that, mind already focused on the future. He wanted a better district, closer to primary schools and day cares with stellar reputation. It was mildly unnerving, to see him come back from work, tie loose and his cheeks flushed from walking up the hill to your home with a list of new places they should go to, recommended by his colleagues. You’d asked around too, and slowly seeing one or two new places jumped from five to ten and eventually thirteen. All of them were disappointing in some way; either Jeongguk or you weren’t satisfied with the garden space, or he found the baby’s room to cramped, or the apartment too close to the main roads. Or the furnishing would not be adequate enough for the rent the landlord was charging. He also wanted benefits, perhaps a gym in the apartment complex or space to build one for himself in a private home. It quickly became apparent to you that Jeongguk wasn’t just looking for a new space, but rather the perfect forever home for him and his family.

Family.

A word you’ve slowly become accustomed to saying in your head. Jeongguk was your partner, and for the most part your family – but this, the baby in your belly. That was your family. A child that belongs to you as much as they belong to Jeongguk. It’s a foreign concept, but your heart swells in anticipation for it every time Jeongguk comes home for work, exhausted by lightening up the second his eyes fall on you and your stomach. It deepens during your doctor’s appointments, quietly observing the attentiveness Jeongguk directs to those meetings, how he notes down every bit of advice the doctors suggest. And its blooms when you begin find copies of parentings books around the house. You’d bought a few of your own for your journey but the shiny novel labelled: ‘Parenting Guide: For New Fathers’ sitting on your kitchen counter does something to you. Jeongguk wanted this more than he let on, and the fact that he was willing to give it up when you felt reluctant shows just how much he loves and cares for you. It feels like a blessing that everything aligned in its own way, perhaps drawn into your life by the desires of your boyfriend and partially by your longing for them too.

You’re lucky enough to find the perfect place thanks to Seokjin. A modern high-rise with the perks Jeongguk wants and enough room for your family to blossom, plus a playground space for your baby to grow in. It’s an arm and a leg to afford but Jeongguk was adamant to provide, and in the back of your head you were already thinking of side-things you can do to support your devoted lover. You move in towards the beginning of January, your previous lease drawing to an end at the perfect time. The new year is ushered in with new furniture and kisses in empty rooms, your sweaters stretching hard over your growing tummy. The journey feels both long and short, marked by moments with your mother, friends and Jeongguk and most importantly by yourself. Hours spent in front of the mirror observing your body change and transform into something new – something strong enough to create life within. Perhaps it’s always been that, yet seeing it occur right before your eyes has been astounding. Jeongguk keeps a steady eye on you, a weight lifting off his shoulders when you finally hand in your resignation letter. Seungmin is surprised, but he stares at your stomach with grudgingness that makes you feel sick.

(And you are the moment you get home, even with the first trimester over).

“Women,” he had muttered under his breathe. “Good for nothing but having babies and abandoning work.”

At first you’d wanted to ignore it, have your final day in the office be a pleasant calm one. Your co-workers were pretty nice, albeit occasionally annoying and deriving too much gratification in gossip but they were nice. Yet how could you, when the source of your stress and anxiety had the nerve to speak to you like that.

“You’re a real fucking piece of shit, you know.” And just like that Seungmin had shut-up, narrowed eyes staring at you in disbelief. “What the fuck have I ever done to you? My work has always been excellent unlike the subpar shit you usually get from everyone here. And yet you’ve been nothing but an annoying piece of shit to me and half your employees here. I don’t know who made you like this but I suggest you leave that shit at the door when you walk in – or else you’ll be dealing with more than just an angry pregnant lady. I’ve heard some pretty interesting harassment lawsuits have been springing up.”

He hadn’t said anything, mouth agape as you’d gotten up, your bag tight in your arms. “Learn to fucking respect the people you work with, or else someone will teach you that lesson.”

You’d stormed out, passing quick goodbyes as your stomach swayed with dread. It had taken more from you than you’d expected but it trepidation had passed as quick as your head hitting toilet the second you’d gotten home. Jeongguk considered buying you a cake just for that, and you’d told him to shut-up. But you could feel like pride and relief in the hug hid given you after you’d told him, and that was all that truly mattered in the grand scheme of things. Not life-sucking leeches like Seungmin.

→

You never really wanted a baby shower. It just felt so overwhelming and attention-seeking to demand that everyone in your life pays mind to you and the baby you were growing, but as pregnancy went on, Yoona and Soomi couldn’t help but insist, taking on the burden of planning it. Jeongguk has helped too, picky over the food and colour co-ordinations to the point where Yoona is considering never talking to him again.

“He’s going to be a nightmare when you plan your wedding,” she says it over a mouthful of rice, swiping through flower arrangement pictures. “Why the hell does he know the difference between gold and rose-gold I can’t even get my husband to figure out two different shades of blue.”

You’d shrugged, the smile on your lips small. “He really likes art, maybe that’s why.”

“A designer’s eye,” Yoona comments, sweeping over the apartment. “I knew they was no way you were responsible for this. Remember when you wanted to paint your apartment walls orange… I’m so glad you met him.”

“Hey! Orange is a really nice colour, it’s very warm and welcoming.”

“Orange is gross and gives people migraines – who have you ever seen purposefully paint their home in the shade of bright orange?” The quirk of her eyebrow makes you laugh, but your still adamant like always.

“It could have been me; I could have been the first.”

“And the last if anyone was smart enough. How’s the baby room coming along.”

You’re up in an instant, partially weighed by the new heaviness in your stomach and chest. “Wanna see? Jeongguk did most of it.” She nods, following you through your new home to the room right beside yours. It opens up to reveal a wide room, painted a pretty pastel yellow, tiny birds and flower wreathes lining the walls. Jeongguk had done it himself, along with the images of Bambi placed on opposing walls. It was his favourite Disney movie after all, and if he aimed on converting your child into loving it too you don’t mind. The crib is adorned with pillow and plushies, carefully picked out for their softness, along with a faded blue blanket that belonged to Jeongguk. His mother had kept it, somewhat pristine for its age and former use. The rest of the room was filled with paraphernalia; a rocking chair given by Namjoon, an assortment of toys partially handed over by Seokjin as his kids have aged and pretty star mobile swaying over the crib.

Yoona’s delight is evident in her smile, padding around the room with the movement of something you can only describe as mother-like. “I could give you baby clothes by the way – Jonghyun is growing so fast and I don’t know what to do with them.”

“That would be nice, thank you.”

“You’re okay with boy clothes? Wait – are you having a boy?”

You roll your eyes, moving forward into the room. “No, we decided to keep it a secret from ourselves, you know this I bet Jeongguk told you.” From the sly shift of her gaze he did. “Soomi is the only one who knows.”

“Why Soomi and why not me?” Yoona pouts, looking exactly like her high-school self.

“Because,” you respond, “Soomi can keep a secret and you can’t.” Her laugh is soft and good-natures because she knows it’s true too.

You fall into small silence, one that feels like memories. How you’d met this girl at the tender age of ten and kept her in your life as you’ve grown from young and wild teenager, confused and reckless adults to this. Mothers. A part of your future that you never truly saw coming.

“He did all of this?” Yoona supplies into the silence. You hum a noise of agreement. “He really cares.”

“He does.”

“I think that’s nice. It’s good you meet him that day – and if I recall when you called me right after you were already calling it the worst day of your life. Now look.”

And you do, fondness creeping forth from your chest. “It was the worst day of my life. He cost me an important job.”

“And he ended up giving you this,” Yoona returns, moving to slip her hand into yours. “A fair trade doesn’t you think.”

“Not a bad one at all,” you say. Your laughs are as light as the dawn sun just breaking beyond the horizon, coloured bright like the paint on the wall of your child’s future room.

“You’re gonna miss this,” Yoona says, squeezing your hand softly. “Once it’s all gone and everyday feels like a challenge… These moments you’re gonna miss them.”

“You miss being pregnant?”

“Maybe,” Yoona wonders out-loud, the look she gives you sneaky. “Jonghyun needs a sibling.”

“God please, give yourself a break. And besides,” You glance at your tummy. “He has a friend on the way.”

Another moment of silence falls, as you both stare at your future while your hand clings to your past and present.

“Remember what I said, at my baby shower?” Yoona whispers, her fingers gripping onto you.

“I remember.” It’s funny that she brings it up, considering what happened that night.

“Well… I’m happy we’re doing this together.” You pause, turning to face her, the smile on her hips matching yours.

“I’m happy we’re doing this together too.” And when she pulls you close for a hug, you remember the girl you once were, unsure and stumbling. It feels nice to know that Yoona was there for you then, and she’s here for you now.

(The shower is more than a success, filled with memories you’ll treasure for ever – and images of Taehyung in a diaper stamped into your memory forever. Yoona and Soomi were right through; having one gave you moments to remember and it felt warm, to be surrounded by the tender adoration and love for your family celebrating the start of something new.)

→

Your baby is late. It’s fitting actually, because that’s something you would do if you were about to be born. But it’s starting to get on your nerves. There’s an unspoken edge hanging in the room, amplified by the constant concerned looks Jeongguk has been throwing your way since your child decided to hang in your womb for a little longer. You’ve been trying to ignore it, but it’s hard when he’s checking up on you for contractions and when the hospital bag has been sitting beside the door for three whole days now. You drown his concern (and yours) with bowls of popcorn and a strange new-found interest in watching old romantic comedies. Jeongguk paces around the apartment while Bridget Jones gets locked in a Taiwan jail for attempted drug smuggling. It would have been a funny moment, expect Jeongguk’s pacing as has the baby moving too and now there’s a tiny foot trying to murder you from the inside. So much energy, an obvious mark of Jeongguk’s genes because any child of yours would definitely prefer to not move instead of brutalising their mother’s insides.

“You’re sure we shouldn’t just go in? Get a check-up or something?” Jeongguk heads peaks from the living-room door frame, locks tousled from the fretting of his fingertips.

“No,” you return, shoving a handful of popcorn in your mouth. It’s more for the effect rather than from enjoyment because for some reason it tastes weird. “We called already, babes. It’s okay, leave the baby alone they’re not ready for the world yet.”

A hard kick into your ribs and you immediately regret saying that. Maybe the baby should just come out – you’re ready for them to.

There’s a line of worry digging into his forehead. “Are you sure? I don’t like this – what if something’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” you say. And fortunately as far as you and the doctors know, nothing is. All the ultrasound and check-up appointments had confirmed that your baby was growing steadily and healthy inside of you. Maybe they just wanted to stay in for a little bit before meeting the word.

“Y/N…” He shifts into the room, beautiful face weighed with concern. “We can go just to check–”

“I’m not doing that Jeongguk.” It’s firm and a little mean but he was fussing like he was the one with a huge baby sitting on his bladder.

“Alright.” It’s a quiet resignation. He moulds into the pillow beside you, careful not to brush against your belly. During the early stages you didn’t mind but now there was a sensitivity that left you irritated and vexed if his hand lingered for longer that five seconds. But you can feel him staring at it and a part of you feels bad for dismissing his concerns. You reach out without a second thought, guiding his palm to the side of your tummy where the kicks echo through.

A huff drifts from his mouth, soft and wondrous. “Strong little girl,” he mumbles, following the pads of the kicks as they breach from under your skin.

“Girl? Did my mom tell you?”

“It’s definitely a girl. She’s stubborn for staying in there when I want to me her. Exactly like you.”

You flick his forehead, caught off guard by the awe sitting in his wide doe eyes. “Mean.”

“How?” Jeongguk whines, petal lips forming a pout. “Bubba, your Mom is calling me mean. Imagine – me!”

“And you called her stubborn.”

“I called you stubborn, she’s a by-product of you so it’s still really your fault.” That playful glint surfaces with an ease that shouldn’t leave you breathless. You hope she has his eyes

“Jeon, shut-up before I something terrible happens to you.”

“What’s the worst that could happen? It’s been six years of empty threats. If you wanted me gone you wouldn’t have had my kid.” You close your eyes in frustration, missing the very important airport scene that all romantic comedies tend to milk to the point of death. Jeongguk laughs at your misery, cooing with the baby kicks against your belly again, as if she’s laughing with him.

She. You’ve been avoiding any gender nouns since the baby shower but now that word seems fitting. A little girl. Your daughter.

“You’re both horrible people,” you return, idly dropping popcorn in your mouth.

Jeongguk gasps, as false as the acting displayed on your television. “Bubba did you hear that? Mom called you a horrible person and she was calling me mean!”

You whack his head, whining when the baby responds to his silly comment with a fist into your stomach. “God, Jeon stop. She gets hyper when you talk to her.”

“She?” Jeongguk raises an eyebrow, still smiling.

“She,” you return.

He falls quiet, staring at your stomach with careful consideration before you see it click in his head. “Anyway, as I was saying –”

“Jeongguk!”

It’s too late and your girl is already awake, kicking and punching every which way like you’re not the sole thing keeping her alive. Jeongguk just giggles but moves with to resettle the pillows behind your back, alleviating what discomfort he can. The tension that gripped the air suddenly lets loose, a calmness filling your head as the evening draws to a close. You only get anxious when you have to slip into bed with him, stomach too far stretched out for you to attain any source of ease. Jeongguk’s already learned to read you well, giving you space and extra pillows where he can, the only thing you hold onto during the night his hand. Somehow, you fall asleep, until your body jerks you awake, a searing pain bleeding through your lower limbs. The ache eats through your grogginess, pulling you up and out of bed where you find with a sudden violent shock that your pyjama pants are soaked. And yet you never panic, fumbling for the lights and heading to the bathroom to pat yourself awake before the next wave of pain stings through.

You poke Jeongguk awake, his eyes snapping open with an urgency that startles you.

“What’s wrong?” His back rips from the mattress as he twists to take you in. “Are you hurt? Sore? Hungry?”

“None of those. I think my water just broke though.”

“Your – what? W-water? You think?” There’s a pause, and then Jeongguk is bounding from the bed like he’s being hunted down and chased. The paleness that sweeps over his face coaxes a giggle out of you, which is immediately washed away by another brief bout of pain.

“Shit,” the word is mumbled again and again under his breath as he runs through the house, collecting last minute things. In a moment he’s guiding you to the door with no shirt but shoes on, keys gripped tight in his hand. “Do we do the breathing thing now? And when was the last contraction? I need to time them.”

“Jeongguk,” you sigh, “Could I change first. I don’t think going to the hospital in Micky Mouse pyjamas is very fitting. And you need to put a shirt on.”

He freezes, spine straight and forehead beading with sweat. “S-sorry–shit. I’m just freaking out let me help you.”

“I’m freaking out too, Jeon. But let’s be calm about it right?”

“Right,” he returns. “But we seriously need to get to the hospital because of the baby comes right now I might faint.”

“Not helping. Jeongguk!”

“Yeah, of course. You put out the set you wanted in the first drawer right?”

“Second drawer. The light blue ones.”

He leaves you staring at the hard wooden floors of your home as he runs to get them, a slight sweat building down your back. The contractions are still spread out, not frequent or concerning just yet. You wanted to stay home for a little to be frank, but judging from the frazzled nature of Jeongguk’s movements you’d rather not ask your boyfriend to wait before rushing into the hospital. You watch him with fondness as he dresses you in the living-room, doe eyes wide with concern and stuck on your stomach. There’s a shirt over his head at least, and a change from his sleeping sweats into clean dark ones.

“Jeongguk,” you whisper.

“Yes?” It’s said with high-alert. “Does it hurt? Should we do the breathing–”

“Jeongguk,” you interrupt. “I think you need to calm down.”

“I am calm.”

You give him a look.

“Okay, I’m not calm,” Jeongguk returns. “But I’m also facing the very real fact that our baby has decided to come into the world in the middle of the night and you’re not freaking out at all which is making me very nervous.”

“I am,” you reply. “I’m just trying to contain it because I don’t want to make it worse. And while I love you Jeongguk I need you not to go crazy on me right now. And I thought you wanted to meet her, she’s decided to come today since you were complaining about it.”

He frowns, lips puckered in an exasperated pout. “Sorry–just–it’s just–I didn’t think it was going to be this scary.”

“It’s not. We just need to get the hospital and everything is going to be okay. So let’s focus on getting into the car first and then we can do the breathing practises, okay.”

Jeongguk stills, eyes drifting to your stomach. You see his shoulder fall lax, a sudden protectiveness lingering on his face. “Okay, let’s start with that.”

→

You were wrong. Very wrong. About everything. Staying at home for even twenty minutes more would have been the worst decision you had ever made because when you baby decided to come into the world, she decided she was coming in fast. Viciously fast. Maybe Jeongguk’s crazed concerned was warranted. Your contractions speed up and get worse during the brief trip to the hospital, and by the time you’re walking in past the doors you’re considered maiming Jeongguk so that he never gets the idea that you want a child again. The staff is incredibly helpful, leading you to your room and bed while Jeongguk calls his parents and yours. It feels both rushed and like everyone is taking their sweet time with you, as if there was a baby literally trying to rip its way out of you. The nurses take the noting of the times Jeongguk recorded, immediately pointing out that your contractions have speed up but not enough to head down to the theatre. Soomi arrives during the two hours they give you to settle, occasionally popping into the check your dilation and contractions.

Her hair is a mess and you can hear the faint sound of Jimin consoling Jeongguk in the hallway. Which is stupid because he’s not the one giving birth, you are.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Soomi starts, drawing near with a container of food. She notes the look of disdain you throw it’s in direction, quickly discards it on a nearby stool.

“Thinking about killing Jeongguk,” you respond. The epidural you requested is not kicking in fast enough.

She laughs, a bright thing that eases you edges a little. “I said the exact same thing when Bora decided to come.”

“Where is she?” You ask, forcing a smile when Jimin walks in the stupid spawn of evil who put you in this hospital bed.

“Taehyung’s. Seokjin and Yoongi are coming tomorrow morning. You think she’ll be here by then? Soomi inquires. You catch the slip of her tongue, a faint smile spreading on your lips as you mumble a greeting to Jimin.

“So it is a girl,” you comment. Jeongguk halts beside you. Maybe you won’t murder him just yet.

“W-well, I – I mean – well, yes it is.”

You’re glad Soomi was the only one who knew. A secret kept right until the last minute.

“I told you,” Jeongguk interjects. “I had a feeling.”

“And I’m feeling like ending your life, so maybe don’t talk right now.”

Jimin’s laughter is loud and unabashed, a direct contrast to the nervous blush staining Jeongguk’s cheeks.

“And now you know why I was scared of Soomi, right?” Jimin comments, ignoring the threatening glare his wife spears into his head. “Have you picked a name yet?”

“Not really,” you return, noticing Jeongguk’s sudden silence. You reach for his hand, heart aching with the fear you might have heart him. He responds automatically, clinging right back onto you. “But there are ideas. We’ll know when we see her.” You say the last sentence while staring at his face, mind already conjuring the image of your girl. Will she have his nose? His cherry cheeks? Will she smile like him? You hope she does – Jeongguk has the best smile in the world. He’s staring at your face like he’s wondering the same, gaze flicking over your features with careful consideration, a gentleness in his eyes that warms you heart even when your contractions decide to resurface, clamouring to be heard in the waves of pain that follow.

“Hey,” there’s a soft hand on your head. “You’ll be okay.” Jeongguk looks worried but you can see him trying to hide it, shoulder tense but his eyes soft.

You respond with a mumbled noise of agreement. “Yeah, when this baby gets the hell out of me. Can somebody call the nurse; my beeper isn’t working.”

Jimin does, leaving Soomi and Jeongguk to hang over you like grey clouds in the sky. You stop focusing on them, letting the murmurs of their encouragement fade into the distance as your focus settles on the bright luminescent hospital lights. Everything shifts into a state of surrealness, marked by moments of doctors prodding you and Jeongguk catching your gaze from his place at your side. Eventually you’re pushed into the theatre room, followed by a trembling Jeon Jeongguk in scrubs and a mask. Soomi and Jimin linger in the hallways while the only thing you hear is one stupid word.

You push until you think you’ve split into two, squeezing Jeongguk’s hand because he should go through this pain too. He doesn’t protest, mumbling words of comfort in your ear while you attempt to crack the bones in his hand.

“You’re doing so well – see look she’s almost here,” he murmurs, hand a grounding force when he strokes your cheek. “Just one more, my love. One more push.”

And then finally, finally, you hear that cry, the pressure in your hips waning. It’s immediately replaced by a quiet awe descending on your both. The nurses congratulate you, cleaning and swaddling your baby up before hastily placing her on your chest. If the tears on your face are from pain or love you wouldn’t know. They are one and the same right now, the splitting of your heart aching in your chest as the love for your child pours out. She’s got his nose. You see it instantly, her eyes are still shut, but you think she has his eyes too. She’s so adorable and too tiny for the world. You feel it then, the fierce need to protect her from anything and everything. Jeongguk’s drops down to your level too, enclosing you both like he feels it too. There’s no need for words to be said, the silent exchange of wonder between you two enough as your baby breaks into weak forlorn cry.

Her name is a quiet decision, vocalised by Jeongguk reaching to graze his thumb across her small cheek. “Hello Jieun-ie…. Hi baby... Don’t cry bubba, we’re here. Hmm, we’re here my love.”

→

Jieun is a blessing. There’s something about her gummy little smile and those chubby mochi like cheeks that makes your heart warm with adoration. She’s got Jeongguk’s eyes too, little stars trapped in her loving gaze. It’s almost addictive, how soft and plush she is in your arms. You want her to stay small and tiny forever, under the protective gaze of her mother. Even the slightest thought of anything negative happening to her, makes your heart seize with terror. You didn’t know it was possible to have space for this much love in your heart but Jieun’s carved out a place just for her, a home in your heart besides Jeongguk.

You try and think of that love and warmth during moments like this - when she’s up all night, screaming her lungs out. You’ve checked her diaper, nothing. You’ve gently directed her wailing mouth to your nipple, immediate rejection from her chubby hands. You’ve rocked her around the room for the past forty minutes, softly bouncing her against your hip, but to no avail either. She’s not hungry, or dirty or tired. You’re lost on how to ease her back to sleep and your patience is quickly wearing thin. The gurgle of spit on your shoulder isn’t making the situation any more tolerable either anyway.

“Why’s my baby crying,” Jeongguk coos from the bedroom, voice groggy with sleep. You’d left him in bed and taken Jieun out when she’d gotten fussy, afraid to rouse him. He’d picked up some long shift once again and it pained you to see him shuffle to work early in the morning with barely any sleep on his face.

“I’ve got her; you can go back to sleep.” You try to reassure him but the incredulous look he gives in you in response has your put together facade crumbling. “I don’t know what’s wrong.” It’s mumbled in the cool air of your apartment, the shame in your tone drawing him closer.

“Hungry?” He says, there’s a hand against the small of your back, warm from the bed he was wrapped in.

“No,” You whine back, briefly closing your eyes when Jieun lets out a particular ear splitting wail.

“Oh no, baby. Don’t cry. Daddy’s here.” You press her into his hands wordlessly, a heavy weight on your chest when you finally take a look at him. He looks like he’s been run over by a truck, skin pasty and flat from sleep. His hair sticks out haphazardly from his head, a wild brown mane that’s overdue for a cut. There’s shadows under his eyes and a deep line forming between his eyebrows. A consequence of how often he frowns at things. Like he’s doing at Jieun now, eyes barely open in the dim light filling your living room.

You subconsciously reach out, pressing the pad of your thumb between his brows and massaging until his gaze relaxes. Jeongguk looks at you perplexed, murmuring sweetly into Jieun’s ear while he stains his shirt with her snot.

“Premature wrinkles,” you softly mutter. His eyes flash and then he’s shaking his head, gaze focused on Jieun.

“Bubba, why do you keep crying? Hmm?” He lifts her up gently, sniffing her bottom while she protests violently. “You’re not dirty either.” He cradles her tenderly once again and for a brief moment, she closes her mouth, wide eyes on her daddy. Neither of you move, frozen by the hope that she's satiated. And then her lips purse tightly, followed by them falling open with a thundering wail.

“Jesus,” Jeongguk whispers, hands gently running along her back. “Where do you get your lungs from? Huh bubba?” Jieun responds with a miserable cry, grubby hands flailing through the air. You catch one for her marshmallow fists, bemused when she smacks your hand away.

“What is wrong with her?” You can’t help but ask, feeling like you’ve been thrown off a boat and left to drown. Parenting shouldn’t be this difficult — she’s only five months.

“Honestly?” Jeongguk's face seems down. “I don’t know either.” He rocks her softly and is rewarded by a softer cry. It takes a couple more minutes of bouncing from Jeongguk for her crying to wane away. You cautiously move closer, taking her hand into your own again, heart thumping when she grabs back at you tightly. You trail your thumb against her tiny fist, glancing up to find Jeongguk staring at your joint hands with a weird look in his eyes.

“Should we go to bed?” He asks, peering at you beneath his long brown bangs. Jieun hiccups at that, immediately falling silent when she nuzzles in her father’s neck. They have the same soft wavy brown hair, but Jieun’s is a little bit sparser, not as thick as her Daddy’s. You gently pry your hand away from hers as you nod, a pleased sigh coming from Jeongguk.

The bed is cool, sheets tipping towards the floor. There’s only a fraction of warmth against your skin when you finally crawl in, bones going soft at the touch of the mattress. Jeongguk makes a move to settle Jieun in her cradle but you shake your head, hand gesturing to the space beside you. He gets in without another word, gently resting her body between the two of you. Her breathing is even, eyes fluttering every other moment, teasing dreams you won’t ever hear and she won’t ever remember. You hope they’re good regardless.

You can’t help the wandering hand that settles on her plush little thigh, fingers grazing against the soft skin there. She’s so big already, it’s insane to see her grow so quickly right before your eyes. This was the girl who was kicking your stomach at every chance and sitting heavy on your bladder. The little baby that demanded you eat pickles with ice-cream and Cheetos dipped in chocolate syrup when she was in your belly. It’s surreal to see her sighing and gurgling outside of your body. It also makes you nervous, how little control you have over her environment. There’s no way you can ensure that she’s comfortable and safe at all times. Or happy and fulfilled. Which hurts like hell. This is your baby and you would do anything to protect her.

Maybe Jeongguk must feel the same because he pipes up, breaking the quiet of the night. “Are you worried? About Jieun?”

“Of course. Aren’t you?”

“All the damn time,” He mutters. You look up, eyes landing on the heavy gaze that’s directed at her sleeping face. “I’m so worried. What if we’re messing this up? I know we’ve barely started but sometimes it feels like too much. I don’t want to see her cry or you tired all the time. How do we know we’re doing the right thing? I want to make sure she’s stable and safe but there’s so much more to come and I’m going to mess up. I know I will.”

It’s a lot for you to digest. The way he blurts it out — it sounds like it’s been on his mind for a while now. It’s a stark contrast to the surety you were greeted with in the delivery room and the man who wanted this to happen in the first place. He doesn’t sound regretful, just terrified of the uncertainty of the future.

“Jeongguk,” You say, trying to wipe the exhaustion from your voice. He needs someone to lean on right now, and even if your heart feels heavy with the words he’s said, you’ll pretend to be that person anyway. “That’s okay. I’m going to mess up too. There’s no manual on how to do this. No one knows how to be a parent. Every child is different. We’re never going to be perfect. We just need to try our best at this.” You reach for his hand, intertwining your small fingers against his larger bigger ones. You give them a squeeze, pleased when Jeongguk looks up at you. “That’s all we need to do. Not everything will be perfect. We just need to try our best to make Jieun happy. Right?” He nods at that, holding your hand tighter. “And stop worrying. She loves you. You’re a great dad.”

He stares at you deeply, still gripping your hand. You watch that soft smile slip onto his face in silence, a warmth bubbling in your chest.

“And you’re a great mom,” He whispers back. You ache to lean over Jieun’s sleeping body, press a chaste kiss against your boyfriend’s lips. But a loud gurgle from her has both of you glancing down concerned. She’s kicking her legs gently, mouth halfway open and drool around her lips. You wipe her mouth fondly, letting go of Jeongguk’s hand to do so.

“We should sleep, shouldn’t we,” He mumbles, burrowing his head into the pillow.

“We should.”

“Hmm. Goodnight bubba,” He whispers at Jieun and then he glances up, eyes soft. “Goodnight Y/N.”

“Goodnight Jeongguk,” You return, giddy for some stupid reason. “Goodnight Jieun-ie.”

There’s a beat of silence, when the air is only filled with the rise and fall of your chests in union, punctuated by the occasional sigh from Jieun. And then Jeongguk is kicking your feet beneath the blanket, eyes open and on you.

“I love you,” He whispers, crust forming around his eyes. You kick him back, a warm feeling settling in your chest as your eyes flicker between your baby and the love of your life. It’s oddly perfect, despite the lack of sleep, despite how groggy the both of you are, despite the uncertainty of the future. None of that matters at that moment. Because you’re here, in your home, in bed with the two people you hold near and dear to your heart. You’ll tackle it together, whatever challenges the future holds for you. Because this is your family.

“I love you too, Jeongguk.”

#jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #btswritingcafe #bts x reader #bts fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook fic

1K notes · View notes

jaembby · 3 years

Text

Lesson learned

pairing: nct dream x f reader

genre: fluff, angst (kinda but not really- its basically y/n having a breakdown that’s it), somewhat a roommates au

word count: 1.8k

requested: yes! request: scenario where they try to prank you ignoring you like they're upset, but you had a really bad day and just breaks down in front of them (nct dream)

warnings: there’s really none unless you count possible grammar mistakes and shitty writing. also I only got to proof reading the first part so the second half probably has some mistakes but let’s just ignore them for now :)

a/n: thank you again for the request @nctvroomts! if anyone wants to request anything, send it in!

also, I hit 60 followers while writing this!! (i’m at 63 now) Thank you all so much!! I can’t believe there are actually over 60 people who read my writing y’all i- <3 <3 <3

preview:

You couldn’t take it anymore and let a small salty tear slide down your cheek as you turned and ran to your room.

Sneaky smiles quickly turned to looks of instant regret as the boys realized; they’d messed up.

-----

The second you entered into your shared flat, you knew something wasn’t right.

There are four of you who live in the flat but it feels more like eight. Jaemin, Jeno and Renjun lived with you but their friend group - who you had now become a part of - called “the dreamies” were always over. Your home was like a second home to Mark, Haechan, Chenle and Jisung aka the other half of the dreamies.

Every single day, without fail, you would come home to the group of overly affectionate boys bombarding you with hugs and questions about your day and stories about theirs. Today, however, was different.

You walked into the door only to be greeted with silence. Most of the boys were sitting and playing video games on the couches of your shared living room while Jaemin and Jeno were taking fresh muffins out of the oven for everyone. Not a single head had turned your way upon your arrival. Not a single greeting of “hi” or “how was your day?”. Not one person moved from where they were stationed nor paid any attention to you whatsoever. Did you do something? Do they suddenly not like you?

“Hello? Are any of you alive?” you called out but didn’t get a response.

You weren’t in the mood for this shit today. You’d had an argument with a co-worker which ended up with nearly everyone in the workplace turning against you for absolutely no reason then received hateful messages because of false rumours spread about you. Because of this, your boss had even threatened that “you’ll be fired if this rubbish continues” and “we can’t have someone like you causing trouble among our staff and bringing the company’s reputation down”! It wasn’t even your fault! But of course, no one listened to you.

“Did I do something? Am I a ghost?” you asked the boys but, once again, received no response. You looked over to where the dreamies sat on the couches eating their muffins which just so happened to be your favourite flavour. It also just so happened that there were none made for you.

“Hello? Please don’t ignore me, guys,” you said as you set your things down on a table, trying not to let them get the better of you.

You looked forward to coming home to the dreamies because they’re your best friends! They always managed to make you feel better and today, you really needed it.

“Did you guys hear anything?” Haechan asked the rest of the group. They all responded with a chorus of no’s and nope’s and that’s when you let go.

Well done. Whatever you boys hoped to achieve, I hope you’re happy, you thought as you felt isolated and alone. The day that you thought couldn’t have gotten any worse just did and it was too much for you.

You couldn’t take it anymore and let a small salty tear slide down your cheek as you turned and ran to your room.

Sneaky smiles quickly turned to looks of instant regret as the boys realized; they’d messed up.

You didn’t spare a glance back at the group of 7 boys downstairs as you slammed the door and flopped onto your bed before letting the tears fall. All of the pent-up anger, frustration and sadness from today’s events came crashing down like a tidal wave as you struggled to control your breathing.

Downstairs, the guys had started to panic.

“Haechan, this is all your fault for suggesting to prank y/n!” Renjun shouted.

“Me? You all agreed to it!” Haechan replied.

Soon enough, almost all of the dreamies were arguing over whose fault it was, a series of “you did this” and “you said that” was all that could be heard with each boy trying to get his say.

“Shut up! All of you!” Mark yelled, bringing an abrupt halt to the arguments.

“Thank you. Now, stop blaming each other. We all agreed to prank y/n and all came up with the plan together. Obviously, we’ve upset her because we’re all stupid and selfish so now we’ve got to work out how to fix this mess.”

“This is why Mark is our unofficial leader,” Haechan stated as Mark blushed. “now does anyone have any ideas on how to fix this mess that we all made?” He continued.

“Jeno and I made extra muffins that we were going to give to y/n after,” Jaemin said in a small voice.

“I feel so bad,” Jisung said as he suddenly found the ground very interesting.

“Me too”

“Me three”

“Same”

“I think we all do”

“Yeah”

“Yep”

“Alright, here’s the plan...” Mark said as he revealed what the group of boys were to do in order to apologize and fix their mistakes.

7 out of the 8 dreamies (you being the odd one out) were sitting in a circle and thinking of ways to make you feel better.

“I can go talk to her... see how she is?” Jisung suggested.

“That’s probably a good idea, ‘sungie, seeing as she doesn’t often get mad at you. While Jisung’s up there, Jaemin and Jeno, I want you guys to get the rest of the muffins out and put them on a plate and 9 glasses and a bottle of y/n’s favourite juice. Renjun and Haechan, help me set up a pillow fort and Chenle, pick out a few movies that y/n might like. Is everyone okay with that?” Mark said, his authoritative side showing once again. When everyone nodded in response, it was time to start.

Jisung walked quietly up the stairs towards your room but stopped a few feet away when he heard your uneven breathing and quiet sniffles being muffled by pillows. He quickly made a detour to the bathroom where he got a glass of water for you and a box of tissues and set out for your room once more.

“y/n?” Jisung asked hesitantly.

“what do you want?” You questioned, angry that the dreamies were ignoring you up until now.

“It’s Jisung, can I come in?”

“Oh, come in ‘sung.”

Jisung made his way into your room and sat down at the edge of your bed before pulling you into a gentle hug. For a while, it was just the two of you in comfortable silence. No words needing to be shared as Jisung let you cry onto his shoulder as he gently stroked your hair. When your breathing had returned to a somewhat normal pace with only small hiccups here and there, Jisung passed you a tissue.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, the gentle sound muffled by his face in your hair.

“Not only me... the rest of us. Y/n, we’re really sorry,” He said as he tightened his grip on you before pulling away to help you wipe some of the tears from your cheeks.

“I’m sorry too. I guess I overreacted. It’s not all your fault... I’ve just had a pretty rough day with work and coming home to my best friends acting like I wasn’t there was not the best end to it” you smiled slightly as you reached a hand up to play with Jisung’s hair. He always managed to calm you down. No matter what happened between you and the others, Jisung was always the one to not get involved.

“Y/n I’m so sorry, we didn’t know. It was just meant to be a prank but we took it too far.”

“It’s okay, ‘sungie. I’m fine now.” You gave him a reassuring smile as you pulled your hands away from his hair which was now slightly messier than it had been before.

“Do you wanna go downstairs? Let’s get you cleaned up a bit and head down because the others want to apologise, too.” Jisung said as he led you to your ensuite bathroom and gently took your hair out of it’s ponytail as you washed off your (now messed up) makeup. Soon enough, you had washed off the makeup, the red stains in your eyes from crying had reduced and you’d changed into comfier clothes as you headed downstairs with Jisung to meet the remaining 6 boys.

As soon as you’d got downstairs, Mark smothered you in a too-tight hug.

“Jisung probably already told you this but we’re so sorry. We really are, y/n. It was meant to be a stupid prank but we never intended to hurt your feelings. We’re really sorry.” He said as he pulled back and grabbed your hand, leading you towards the mess of pillows and blankets that the boys had turned into a fort big enough to comfortably fit all 8 of you.

You’d just sat down on one of the pillows when suddenly a tray of muffins was placed in front of you by a pouty Jaemin and Jeno.

“Sorry.” they both said as they took turns in giving you hugs.

Renjun, Haechan and Chenle followed after Jaemin and Jeno, apologizing and giving you tight comforting hugs.

After hugs and muffins being shared amongst you all, everyone had gotten into more comfortable positions in the pillow fort, ready to watch movies.

“Y/n, pick a movie,” Chenle said as he passed the remote in your direction from where he was seated next to Jisung. Haechan, who was to the left of you, grabbed it and gave it to you before resting his head gently on your shoulder and snuggling closer to you.

“Hyuck, stop moving. You nearly kicked over our cups.” Mark said as he reached down to move the half-empty cups away from the potentially dangerous area.

“Noo- the cups will be fine, Mark.” Haechan retorted tiredly and you laughed quietly at their banter.

The movie began and Jaemin, who was to your right, looped his arm with yours as he rested his head on your free shoulder.

Renjun leaned on Jeno, who leaned on Jaemin, who cuddled your right side while Mark was resting the weight of his head on Haechan’s lap and Chenle and Jisung were sat in front of the rest of you, side by side, leaning on each other and occasionally commenting on the movie to one another which would earn a playful slap from the other.

Things were peaceful (well, as peaceful as you can get with the dreamies) and all was well. You’d forgiven the boys and they’d learned not to pull dumb pranks in the future. Now here you all sat, the eight of you content and comfortable.

It was quiet apart from the movie playing in the background...too quiet.

Suddenly, the blanket that acted as the roof of the den fell down, along with two of the chairs holding them up, causing you all to laugh as Jaemin and Jisung screamed quietly, having been woken from their half-asleep state.

“Maybe someone else can be in charge of building the den next time,” Jisung mumbled grumpily as he lay on Chenle in an attempt to get comfortable once again.

“Hey!” Chenle said in an offended tone (though you all knew he was faking) and lightly hit Jisung in the arm which caused the rest of you to go into another laughing fit.

The group of overly affectionate boys had once again managed to make you smile and laugh again, despite everything that happened today.

Lesson learned: don’t prank y/n like that!

-----

a/n: thank you for reading! I know this was very basic and boring with the shittiest plot but writer’s block doesn’t help when you’re trying to write a request nshdkj anyways not @ me trying to subtly put chenji markhyuck and norenmin in there i’m sorry if there’s mistakes I literally wrote majority of this at like 2am on multiple days so yeah. anyways i’m going to shut up now- thanks for reading and please continue sending in requests!! i’m so sorry @nctvrooms that this took so long to write I kinda forgot about it for like two weeks oops.

153 notes · View notes

come-on-shitty-boys · 4 years

Text

//missing pieces. miya atsumu//

Warnings: mild swearing. Feelings of hopelessness. infidelity

Word Count: 2.2K

Notes: imnotcryingimnotcryingimnotcrying.

{Read Part II - "Broken Pieces" HERE}

You heard them before they even entered the door. The loud shouts and the howls of laughter. If you sat up enough on the couch, the MSBY training jackets were visible through the front window. Hinata’s orange hair bounced wildly as he jumped excitedly with his older Jackals. It was the fifth time this week that the boys had come over after practice.

It was the fifth time this week that the boys had disrupted your much needed study time. A senior in college, a list of midterms too long to comprehend, and more mental breakdowns than you cared to account for, the hours that your boyfriend was at practice and you could relax and study in the comfort of your shared home was pure bliss.

The door swung open, giving you a full account of just how loud they were being. Atsumu was doubled over in fits of giggles, tugging his sneakers off, Hinata and Bokuto shouting bits and pieces of the same story only a few steps behind.

“Y/N? You here?” Atsumu calls out as he is finally able to calm himself down enough to speak normally again.

“Living room, ‘mu!”

In a matter of seconds, he’s bounding into the room, leaning over your shoulder. “I’m home.” You don’t even have to look at him to know that he has the widest grin on his face, just like he always does when he gets back from practice. No matter how long or how grueling his day, Atsumu never fails to greet you with the biggest smile.

“I see that. How was practice?”

“Good! My hands are kinda sore though,” he whines, opening and closing his hands in front of you as if to show you the pain he was enduring.

“Well, you’re new to this pro stuff still, Atsumu. Your body will get used to it soon.”

“Yeah, I know.” He sighs a little, resting his chin on the top of your head. “The guys are here.”

“Trust me, I, and the entire neighborhood, know. Let me just finish this question real quick and I’ll let you guys have the living room.”

“Aw, come on! You don’t want to hang out with us?”

“I need to study or else I would love to.”

He hums in affirmation. “You’re going to do so well. I’ll make sure we keep it down so you can focus, okay?” There’s a soft kiss placed on your head as you pack up your laptop and notes so you can go study in the bedroom.

“Thank you, ‘mu,” you say, standing on your toes to give his lips a short peck as you pass.

But that was then.

And this was now.

“Are you serious?! You can’t lock me out of my room, Y/N!”

“Our room, Atsumu, and too bad. I did!”

His fist pounds on the door, the intensity of each knock sending vibrations throughout the room. “Y/N, this is ridiculous! Open the door!”

“I’m trying to work. This report has to be done for tomorrow. Please, ‘mu.”

“Don’t ‘mu’ me when you’re literally locking me out the bedroom!”

You roll your eyes, leaning over to twist the lock and tug the door open. Your boyfriend tumbles into the room as his support is swung away from him. He doesn’t even look at you. He just goes straight to the closet, throwing clothes onto the bed. “Where are you going?” You ask, looking up from your laptop briefly as he throws a pair of jeans a little too far, hitting you in the leg.

“Does it matter?” He starts peeling off the lounge clothes that he had been wearing most of the day, opting for a slightly more put together outfit for his night out.

You just shrugged. “I guess not.” Yes.

“Then don’t worry about it.” Atsumu tugs his jeans up and takes a look at himself in the mirror. He ruffles his hand through his hair in a poor attempt to give it some extra volume. You watch him make a few dumb facial expressions at himself. Satisfied, he pulls his hat over his head. With wallet and phone in hand, he finally turns to look at you. “Okay. I’ll see you later,” he states plainly, walking past you and out the bedroom door.

“Do you have your keys?” The only answer you receive is an annoyed jingle of his keyring from the other room.

The thud of front door closing is the sole sign that he had left. There were no final shouts of “Bye, princess! I love you!” “I love you more, ‘mu!” “I love you most!” Those days have long since past. They had been replaced with eerie silences and quick exits from both parties. Life in the current household was far from what it had been a year ago. There were no soft shared kisses just because. No gentle teases as the evening news played in the background. No long cuddle sessions on the couch because both of you were too lazy to get up to go to bed. There was no smacking his hands out of the mixing bowl while you tried to make dinner.

Atsumu wasn’t home long enough for those things anymore. He’d come running in from practice, quickly shower and change out of his sweaty clothes. And as fast as he came, he would be gone, maybe shouting “I’m going out with the guys!” but usually, he would just leave, the slam of the door echoing through the house.

You kept telling yourself that this would pass. He was just excited to finally be achieving his dreams. Of course he would want to hang out with his new teammates and friends. There was a level of trust there that he needed to build with them as their setter and if crowding around Hinata’s television, playing video games was how they bonded, then so be it. Who were you to tell his team how they should and shouldn’t spend their time? But this had been going on for months.

Months of no hellos and no good mornings. Months of Atsumu coming home late, the faint smell of alcohol on his breath as he tucked into bed an arm’s length away from you. He returned affection with the minimum amount of effort, maybe a short apology as he broke away from a kiss, explaining that the guys were waiting for him. It felt like a wedge had been shoved between the two of you, the rest of the Black Jackals jamming you further and further away from him.

Part of you kept hoping that you would wake up, secured in his arms, a gruff “Good morning” whispered in your ear only followed by a soft whine as you tried to get out of his grasp, causing him to just pull you tighter into his chest. You kept hoping that whatever switch flipped in his head to cause this would flip back and the Atsumu that you fell in love with would come back to you, but it never happened. He just kept straying away, not even bothering to look back at how far he had drifted.

You had hoped today would be different. It wasn’t every day that the two of you accomplished four years of putting up with each other’s bullshit. But, when his alarm sounded and he just got up like nothing was different, that slight bubble of hope that was buried in your chest popped. Maybe- maybe he just wanted to focus before practice. Yeah, that’s all this was. Surely, he hadn’t forgotten, right? Atsumu could be a jerk, but he wasn’t that much of an asshole. He wouldn’t have forgotten your anniversary.

“What’s this for?” he had asked as he took the neatly wrapped package from you as he sat down at the table, his bowl of cereal nearly empty.

So, he did forget.

“I’ll open it later. I’m going to try to get a run in before practice.” You didn’t even have the chance to wish him a happy anniversary before he got up to put his bowl in the sink, headed out of the room to slip on his sneakers for his jog.

So, now, as you sat in your shared bed, it felt like the unopened package was staring intently into your soul, mocking you for your failing relationship. Four years of laughter, excitement, and love seemed to mean nothing to him and you couldn’t figure out what you did to make him choose volleyball. It was his dream and you understood that. You would never keep him from being the man he always dreamed of being.

It tore you apart inside, this feeling of absolute failure. It had been bugging you for a while now, but this- that stupid box sitting on his side of the bed, was your breaking point. You didn’t understand what you did. Why was he pushing you away? Did you not support him enough? Did he think that you didn’t care for him? As the questions weighed heavily on your mind, you felt that all-too-familiar sting of salty tears forming in your eyes.

You shook your head, silently begging for the tears to just go away. I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry. He wasn’t upset, so you shouldn’t be either, right? But, you were. You were devastated that no matter how hard you tried to put everything back together, the pieces just kept slipping out from between your fingertips and just as soon as everything felt like it was all coming back together, Atsumu would be holding the final pieces to puzzle, refusing to snap them into their place. In his hands, he held the most important pieces. Those gorgeous center parts that brought the entire picture into focus, showing off the breath-taking beauty of it. But, as of now, it was just the background, the few random bits and bobs, scattered around the scene, each beautiful in their own way, but meaning nothing without the center point of the image.

The worst part? You didn’t know when the pieces of your relationship went scattering all over the place, leaving you to scramble, picking everything up on your own while Atsumu was at practice or hanging out with the guys. You just know that it’s felt like ages since everything was put together in perfect harmony.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to cry. You wanted to pull your hair from your head so you could feel something, anything, other than this complete and utter worthlessness and despair that had been swelling within your chest, waiting to be let out.

The hot tears rushed down your face in torrents, but apart from your gentle sniffs, there was silence. There were no sounds of pitiful weeping. It was an art that you had learned to perfect after many nights where these feelings washed over you, not wanting to wake Atsumu, not wanting him to stare at you with blank eyes and tell you to, “Stop crying and go to bed.”

But, right now- right now, you didn’t care. You wanted to hear his voice in your ear, shushing you, reassuring you that everything was fine, just like it used to. The line rings, rings, rings -

“You’ve reached Miya Atsumu. Sorry that I missed your call, but if you leave me a message, I’ll get back to you!”

The beep that signals you to leave your message is what urges you to just hang up. You toss your phone to the side, hoping that, just maybe, he’ll notice your missed call and give you a call back or even just a text message would be good enough for you.

But, there never was. There was no soft ting at the sound of an incoming message. You never heard the ringtone that had been set to Atsumu’s contact, signifying that he had called you. You waited hours, your eyes being dry for a long while at this point, leaving just the shell of a broken person in your place. Your gaze never left that stupid box. You were entranced, staring at the black and gold paper, watching it sheen as it would catch the light slipping in from the window.

Not even the sound of the swinging open could pull you out of your emotionless gaze. Miya Atsumu just stared into your face, eyes red and puffy, streaks in your make-up where the tears removed your foundation. Somewhere deep within his chest, there was a soft pang of sadness. There was nothing that he hated more than seeing you so distraught that you completely shut down. Yet, he said nothing. He simply pulled a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from his drawer, pulling his clothes off his body to change into something that he could sleep in. His shirt came off and your gaze became fixated on his toned chest.

But, even your empty eyes knew the bright red lines of scratches and the harsh purple bruises of a hickey when you saw them.

“‘Mu?”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #miya atsumu #atsumu #miya #msby black jackals #atsumu x reader #angst #imagine #x reader #part 1

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misqato · 4 years

Text

birthday surprises with tsukishima, oikawa, kuroo and kageyama

Summary: a short hc + scenario of the boys surprising you on your birthday!!

Genre: fluff

A/N: so this fic is for my friend’s birthday, (she told me she didn’t have tumblr but am posting it anyway cuz why not). anyway, hope you guys like the fic!! requests are still open as of now btw :)) ‘til next time, claire❤

tsukishima kei

he’ll actually pretend to forget it’s your birthday.

you text him on the morning of your birthday to see if he remembers ;))

y/n : kei!! guess what day it is today :>

kei: idk, monday?

this bitch.

you were kinda disappointed cause it seemed like he forgot about your birthday + he was acting extra salty on you :((

you left him on read and just spent the rest of your day at home with your parents.

you would get calls and messages from your friends greeting you, but you still felt really sad because of how your boyfriend was acting.

your parents tried to cheer you up but it just didn’t help

you just really wanted to spend the day with kei :((

on the other hand, kei just wanted to surprise you.

he felt really bad about doing that to you, but it was part of the whole surprise.

so anyway, you were just lying down on your bed that time, and just as it was about to get late, you receive a message from kei.

kei: i’m here outside. open the door.

You head downstairs and open the front door to see a sweaty Kei standing there with two medium sized paper bags in his hands. You practically leaped at him and gave him the tightest hug while you inhale his scent because you really really missed him today.

“I missed you.”, you said, head still resting on his chest. “I missed you too idiot, and happy birthday.”, he says, smiling down on you.

You stay like that for a while until he finally says, “Um, can we come in? My hands are still a bit preoccupied over here.”

“Yes, of course. Come in.”, you say, helping him with the bags as you both make your way inside and sit by the dining area.

As you both settled down inside, he takes out the contents of the paper bags: both of you guys’ favorite strawberry shortcake, a new set of headphones, a dinosaur plushie, and one of his hoodies that you love to wear when you come over to his place. “I’m sorry for acting like that a while ago. I really didn’t forget it was your birthday today. I just wanted to surprise you today and-”

You cut him off with a kiss. He was in shock for a while but then he melted in not shortly afterwards. “Ssshhh, it’s fine, Kei. What matters is that you’re here with me now.”, you give him a soft smile. “Thank you for all of this, Kei. Thank you for being a part of my life. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Y/N. Happy birthday. You mean the whole world to me.” You both leaned in for a kiss.

Well, it was a happy birthday indeed.

oikawa tooru

this man will throw a whole ass surprise party for you

he’s got his whole volleyball team, your family and your friends to help him with the surprise

he really wants to celebrate your birthday in the most special way so he’ll really go all out for you

he doesn’t drop any hint of it whatsoever and makes sure no one spoils the surprise

you think it’s just going to be another one of your normal birthdays where it’s usually just the two of you

so like he picks you up at your place when you’re all dressed up and ready thinking he’ll only take you out to dinner with just the two of you

of course he’ll shower you with kisses and compliments telling you how beautiful you are

and just as you both got inside his car to drive to the venue, he brings out a blindfold and tells you to wear it for a while

so then of course you’re like ???

what is this man up to?

but then he tells you “c’mon princess it’s only for a little while. just trust me”

you sigh and put on the blindfold

“you’re lucky i love you”, you jokingly tell him

The drive didn’t take that long, but for you it felt like forever. “Are we there yet?”, you ask your boyfriend countless of times already. In which he’ll reply, “We’re almost there, princess. Hang on.”, while rubbing your thigh reassuringly.

After parking the car, he finally announces, “We’re here, but don’t take your blindfold off yet, alright?”

You whined, starting to get impatient.

“Now, now, it’s only gonna be just for a little while now, princess.”, your boyfriend says.

“You said that for like, 10 times already.”, you protest, rolling your eyes under the blindfold, which made him chuckle.

“Now we’re gonna have to get out of the car. I’ll come around your side and help you out okay?”, he says.

“Alright.”

He hops out of the car and he made his way to the passenger seat to help you step out of the vehicle. You both walked towards the building with your purse clutched in one hand and the other being held by your boyfriend guiding you as you walk.

As you both made the venue, you both made a halt. Your boyfriend finally says, “You can take off your blindfold now.” And as you take off your blindfold you see your family and friends altogether greeting you with a very loud and warm “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!”

There was confetti flying around the place and cameras all pointed at you as you stood there in pure shock. You really hadn’t expected this to be happening.

Your boyfriend then makes his way toward you and hands over a huge bouquet of your favorite flowers. You then give him the biggest hug and smother him with kisses all over his face, with the guests clapping and saying their “aww’s” all over the place.

“You really did this for me?”, you ask him.

“Well yeah, but, I don’t really want to take all the credit since our friends and family members helped out too.”, he sheepishly smiles.

“You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. I love you so much.”, you say as you kiss him on the lips once again.

“I love you too, princess. Happy birthday.”

You both spent the whole rest of the night partying. It was the most memorable birthday you’ve ever had.

kuroo tetsurou

this man will spoil you rotten

i mean he already spoils you enough on a normal day, but he’ll literally give you ANYTHING you want on your special day. i repeat, ANYTHING

he’s been saving all year for your birthday, just so he could give you all the nice things you’ve been wanting all year

christmas is another story, though (which we’ll be saving for another time😉)

the first thing you see when you wake up is a very excited kuroo sitting down on the floor right next to your bed

it’s 9am and you were still a bit confused and disoriented so when you see him you’re just like “???”

when he sees you’re awake he’ll go “happy birthday, kitten” with a soft smile that makes you melt like AKHKADHSH

and he even made you breakfast!! in bed!!

kuroo is actually a really great cook

so he just watches you as you chow down your food and he finds you so adorable when you’re eating it just makes him go uwu

when you finish your food, he’ll offer to clean up and wash the dishes so you could dress up and get ready.

and so after you get ready you both make your way to the mall

It was already around 3pm, and you still haven’t decided on what you really wanted for your birthday.

You’ve been to plenty and plenty of various shops and yet you still haven’t made up your mind. You only wanted to buy one gift so your boyfriend wouldn’t have to pay for much even if he’s insisting that he’ll pay for everything.

And so both of you went through the last of the shops that you haven’t been to yet. You both decided to go to the jewelry shop, in which you found lots of sparkling diamond and gold bracelets, rings and other types of jewelry. But one that really caught your eye was this gold necklace with a small diamond heart pendant attached to it.

He noticed you staring at it and asked the saleslady, “How much is it?”.

“Around 50,000 yen.”, the saleslady replied.

He figured he could just use his credit card. “Do you want to buy that one, baby?”, he asks. And as much as you really wanted it, you didn’t want your boyfriend to spend that much money on just a small birthday gift, so you said, “No, it’s fine. I mean, it looks pretty, but it’s too expensive.”

“C’mon kitten, I haven’t gave you a gift yet, and I told you it would be alright with me if the price is a bit expensive. I really want to give you something special on your birthday, and I want you to be happy, of course.”

“Being with you today is enough for me, babe. You’re the most special gift I ever had.”, you reach up and kissed him on the nose.

“Alright, kitten. If you say so.”, he gives you a soft smile and you both walk out the store.

Later that evening...

Just as both of you were about to head home, Kuroo says he needs to rush to the bathroom for a bit and tells you to stay where you are.

It took him quite a while and then you see him jogging back to where you were supposed to meet.

“Gosh, are you okay?”, you ask a sweaty Kuroo that’s heavily panting.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Let’s go home now.”, he says. Wrapping an arm around your waist as you both exit the mall and walk to the train station.

You were getting quite suspicious of your boyfriend, but you just let it slide.

Both of you then arrive at the doorstep of your place. “Goodnight, Tetsu. Thank you so much for today. I had a really great time.”, you say as you place a kiss on his cheek.

“Wait, I have something for you.” he says, pulling out a tiny grey box with a silver ribbon tied to it and hands it to you. “Open it.”, he says with a large grin plastered on his face.

You take the small box and untie the ribbon. When you open it, you see the same gold necklace with the diamond heart pendant on it like the one you were eyeing at the mall earlier that day. Your eyes widened at the necklace and you were utterly speechless.

You looked up to your boyfriend looking at you with a large smile on his face and said, “Want me to help you put it on?”.

“Yes, please.”, you say, turning around so that your boyfriend could have easier access to secure the necklace around your neck.

“All done,” he says once he’s finished. “Wow, it look great on you, babe.”, he praises you.

You then grabbed him and gave him a big warm hug. “I told you, you really didn’t have to buy me this. It’s way too expensive.”, you say, head still buried in his chest.

“Well, I really wanted you to be happy, babe. Didn’t you like it?”, he replies.

“I love it, babe. Thank you so much.”

“Anytime, kitten. Happy birthday.”, he says, peppering you face with tons of kisses.

kageyama tobio

he’ll get so stressed out on planning a surprise birthday for you ceflvnvbf

so he asks tanaka and noya for some advice which is probably not the best idea

they suggest throwing you a huge surprise party with them dressing up as mascots

istg poor boy almost went with that idea-

but thank gOd sugamama overheard the conversation and came to the rescue!!

so he suggests to take you to this drive-in theater just 10 minutes away

kags liked that idea so he takes sugamama’s advice (stan sugamama😔✊)

on day of your birthday, he takes you to the park first

it was pretty chill. y’all just eating ice cream on the bench while watching little kids play

inside, he’s really nervous about whether you’ll like his mini surprise or not

so during the afternoon he says that he’s going to take you somewhere (but ofc he doesn’t say where exactly)

but you just trust him and let him drive because he’s your boyfriend anyway, not a serial killer

he stopped by the convenience store for a while and told you to wait in the car

he went out with some chips, ready-made popcorn, some soda and his carton of milk (ya boi needs his milk) and you were starting to get an idea of where he’s taking you

so y’all are on your way there and when you saw the tall sign thingy that says what movie they’re showing (idk what they’re called FDEFBEB) you start getting so excited because you’ve never been to a drive-in theater before and you really wanted to go to one with your boyfriend

“We’re here.”, your boyfriend says, glancing at you with a smile on his face as he sees the amount of excitement on your face.

“Omg Tobio I can’t believe that you thought of taking me here.”, you say, reaching over to his side to pull him into a hug. “Oi, boke, let me part first before we cuddle.”, he says, looking for a good place in the front near the screen so that you get a good view.

“Alright, hihi.”

The movie that was showing was one of your favorite old school romance movies. You were sitting at the hood of the car with a blanket laid down under the two of you. You were lying in his arms while watching the movie and you honestly couldn’t think of anything more romantic than this.

You knew what was gonna happen next, so you stare up at your boyfriend and admire his features while he focuses on the movie (he apparently hasn’t watched it yet :<). He then notices you staring at him and gives you a smirk. “What’re you staring at, boke?”, he asks. “Nothing, just looking at how my boyfriend looks so great under the moonlight.”, you say, giving him a smile.

“Thank you for taking me here, babe. I really appreciate the effort.”, you tell him. “Of course, babe. Anything to make you happy.”, he says. “Although I gotta thank Suga-san for suggesting this place to me.”, he adds.

Just as the movie showed the two main characters pulled into a kissing scene, both of you sheepishly look down.

“Do you, um, want to-?”

You cut your boyfriend off by pulling him into a kiss on the lips. The kiss was very soft and tender. When the two of you pulled away from the kiss, he says, “Happy birthday, boke. I love you so much.”

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yodawgiherd · 3 years

Text

You Were Never Truly Gone ch2

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Well, you guys asked for it, so enjoy a few chapters of my post-canon world. Thank you all so much for the lovely comments/kudos, I appreciate every single one of you <3 So for you all, I'm writing this - The end that I would want for Eren and Mikasa :)

It was a beautiful day today. Looking over the waves at the rapidly approaching Paradis shore, Armin couldn’t keep the excited smile away from his face. Soon, he would be seeing Historia again, and they would work together to achieve peace. But that was not all, he reminded himself, fist clenching over the feather in his hand.

Today he would see Mikasa and remember Eren with her.

It would mark three years since the end of the war and his sacrifice, and Armin couldn’t help it – he felt anxious. Mikasa was doing great usually, she was her own person and not a shadow in the past. But this day, when all of them gathered around the grave to thank the person that saved them, was always a trial by fire. He would be there for her, he and everyone else, they would help her push past and return to her normal self. That he swore, both to himself and his dead best friend.

“What are you thinking about?”, Annie’s voice from behind made him jump a bit in surprise.

“N-Nothing. Or well, the anniversary I guess…”

“I could say, anytime you are worried you get a wrinkle.”, Annie reached out, tapping the center of Armin’s forehead, “Rrrrrright here.”

With a smile he swiped her hand with his own, letting their fingers intertwine. The edge of Annie’s engagement ring felt cold against his skin, reminding Armin of the day when he finally gathered his courage and asked her the question. It still felt surreal sometimes, that he was engaged to her. Too good to be true.

“Can you two stop being so disgustingly in love?”, Pieck appeared on the deck, “I don’t want to throw up.”

She lit up a cigarette, watching the shore grow closer. Armin was tempted to let go of Annie’s hand because of Pieck’s request, but she tightened the hold and wouldn’t let him. Yea, Annie was never the one to let herself be pushed around.

“Are the guys ready?”, Armin asked instead, “We will be meeting the queen soon.”

“Jean keeps styling his hair and Connie is teasing Reiner because of the letter sniffing.”, she let out a large puff, watching the smoke curl in the salty sea air, “But other than that, we are good to go.”

Their work was important. Being a group from both the scouts and warriors they were the peacemakers, the ones that kept traveling between the nations to try and keep the fragile ceasefire brought upon by Eren’s actions. Armin’s mood turned sour. Eighty percent of the world was destroyed and still, the leaders were at each other’s throats. The sacrifice gave them chance, but it didn’t magically fix everything, there was still a lot of work to be done.

When the ship finally pulled into a harbor the rest of their group stepped out of the cabin. Jean, looking slick as ever, Reiner tailed by smirking Connie. Pieck threw the cigarette butt into the ocean, dusting herself off before meeting Armin’s eyes.

“Shall we?”

He nodded, throwing the feather into the ocean too. Over the gangway and down, Armin took a moment to help Annie jump down, help she didn’t need but appreciated nevertheless. The others noticed of course, and Jean was the one who spoke up.

“You get engaged and suddenly you are a gentleman, is that it?”, he grinned, “Whipped even before marriage, what a way to go.”

“Ah, as if you are the one to talk.”, Pieck pushed past him with a smile of her own, “I’m pretty sure you weren’t working so hard on your hair for the “history books”, were you?”

“It’s not like that…”

Ignoring whatever excuse he tried to voice, Pieck joined Armin and Annie on the shore, and soon they were gathered again. Then it was finally time to walk over to where Historia was standing in front of her honor guard, flanked by Kiyomi on her right.

“Ambassador Arlert,” rang the queen’s voice, loud and clear, “It is my pleasure to welcome you back to the Paradis island.”

“It is an honor, your majesty.”, bowing deep, Armin was mirrored on both sides by his friends, and when he straightened there was a spark of amusement in Historia’s eyes.

But protocol was protocol.

“I’m sure that you must be tired after your journey,”, the queen said, “Join me for some refreshment.”

Not waiting for an answer, as she was the queen, Historia turned and walked in the direction of the large tent, her guard splitting flawlessly to let her pass. It was a demonstration of military discipline and an effective one at that, making Armin frown. So much death, and it was not enough.

As soon as they were inside, away from the public eye, Historia changed immediately. Throwing herself onto him, she hugged Armin tight, grinning like a maniac.

“I missed you so much!”, she practically squealed, pulling back to look at the others, “All of you too!”

Catching up felt like regressing towards the old times. Armin was almost tempted to say careless, but that was never the truth with them. There was always something – first the titans, then the rumbling, and now whatever this fragile peace was. But there would be time to worry later, so Armin relaxed instead, letting Historia’s cheerfulness infect him. They talked about everything, about Armin and Annie’s engagement and Historia admired the ring on Annie’s finger, modeled after the one with a secret blade she used to wear. Jean recounted the events of their travels after, all the cities that they visited, and all the wonders that they saw since their last meeting.

But then the stories were told and it was time to get down to business.

“Historia,”, Armin said,” how is the situation here?”

Her happy smile soured immediately.

“Bad. The army holds a very important position in the government, and they are not giving it up. The Yeagerists and growing with every single month and I have no idea how to stop them.”, she frowned, “Every time I’m in the city I swear that I can hear them chanting that Fight, Fight.”

“Do you think that they planning to overthrow you?”, Reiner spoke up, but Historia shook her head.

“No, they have no reason to. I am not much more than a puppet queen at this point, they have most of the control, and keeping me as a figurehead lets them work in the background.”

“Can’t Kiyomi help you?”, Pieck asked, “Hizuru military is recovering well, from what I’ve heard.”

“She could, but she is not going to.”

“Why is that?”

“Kiyomi wants Mikasa, she wants her to come to Hizuru, marry and become shogun’s wife, continue the bloodline.”, Historia was annoyed, and it showed in her voice, “She expects me to tie Mikasa up, stuff her in a shipping crate and send her against her will. The hag.”

It made sense that the queen was extra against anything like that, her being in similar situation years back.

“And since I told her that she can go stuff it and I would never force Mikasa into that, Kiyomi grew sort of cold towards me.”

She sighed.

“But we can talk about that tomorrow when the formal meeting happens. Today you guys have other plans.”

“That’s true.”, Annie nodded, “We have to see Mikasa.”

“And Eren.”, Connie added.

“I wish I could go with you, but unfortunately I have a lot to do before we meet tomorrow.”, Historia walked over to Armin, hugging him again, “Give her my love, okay?”

She moved over to the exit, only stopping to add: “And him too.”

With the queen gone the group left the shore, ignoring the stares of the soldiers. Some called them traitors, Armin knew, the Yeagerist faction condemned their peace-making efforts as cowardness.

“Hey,”, Annie squeezed his hand, “Don’t mind them. They are fools.”

He smiled at his girlf-… fiancé. Damn.

“I know, but they are fools with power, and that’s dangerous.”

“I wonder if they would be this warmongering if they knew what Eren’s true goal was.”, Jean said, “All he wanted was peace.”

“It’s not like we can tell them, they would never believe us.”, Pieck had a new cigarette hanging from her lips, the burning tip moving when she spoke, “To them, Eren was a God of War that paved the way to Paradis supremacy.”

They didn’t speak more after that, passing the soldiers and heading out of the harbor. The island nation had grown considerably in the three years, and buildings with concrete replaced the once green fields. Yet that didn’t go on forever, and before too long they were walking in nature’s embrace again.

“Maybe we should have taken a car,” Connie huffed as they walked, “Or a horse.”

“The exercise will do you good.”, Annie called over her shoulder with the typical cold expression.

“We do have a horse,”, Reiner tapped Jean’s shoulder, “Right here.”

“Hah, that was a good one, maybe you could make those jokes more often if you didn’t spend so long on sniffing the queen’s letters.”, Jean shot back.

Back and forth they bickered while Pieck smoked with an enigmatic smile, Armin and Annie leading the group while holding hands. There it was, the familiar field with trees, a lone hill in the middle. Excited to see Mikasa again, Armin let go of Annie and broke into a run, leaving his friends behind. They all ran like this, years back, with Eren in front and Mikasa right behind him, letting him take the lead. Armin was always hopelessly last in those races, but he never did mind hat. Now, he was the only one running.

Up and up, over the green grass and to the tree where Eren’s final resting place was. With a smile, Armin finally got high enough to get a view of that place, but the greeting shout on his lips died when he saw what was happening. Yes, Mikasa was indeed there, but that was not all. Far from it.

Stunned by the scene in front of him, Armin stared, watching the stranger kiss his friend with fervor. Their kissing was passionate and Mikasa was more than into it, her hands roaming all over the stranger's back. If that was not proof enough, Armin knew that she has the ears of a huntress and could easily hear him coming, but she was too deep in the moment to notice. Blushing slightly, feeling like he was intruding, Armin silently walked down the hill where the group just arrived, everyone looking at him with a question on their faces.

“What’s wrong?”, Reiner was the first one to speak, “Is Mikasa not there?”

“She is… it’s just…. I…”, Armin scratched the back of his neck, looking everywhere but not at his friends.

How was he supposed to explain this? Yet when Annie stepped closer, taking a hold of his cheek and forcing him to meet her gaze, her icy eyes speared right through and pinned him in place.

“Armin, what happened?”

Yeah, he could not hide the truth from her.

“Mikasa is there, but she’s not alone.”

“What are you talking about?”

“She is with… someone…”

Now everyone was speaking over one another.

“What?”

“Who?”

“What the…”

“Is she okay?”

“Is he…”

It would probably go on forever if Annie didn’t raise a hand, calming the mess. When they all fell silent, she fixed Armin with her famous stare, letting a single word fall from her lips.

“Talk.”

So, Armin took a deep breath. And talked.

“Mikasa is sitting near Eren’s grave but she’s not alone. She’s making out with someone, and from what I saw she’s enjoying it very much.”

A stunned silence followed, the cigarette falling from Pieck’s shocked mouth. Somewhere high overhead, a bird darted towards the endless horizon.

“Well, I… Uhm… Guess we should be happy that she’s finally moved on?”, the words were awkward, and Reiner knew that, but he pushed them out, “I’m glad that she.. you know... found someone?”

“I agree but does she have to do in front of Eren?”, Pieck said, her brows furled in a frown.

“That does not sound like her at all.”, Annie agreed.

“What, you guys think that he minds?”, Connie noted, “Like.. is he watching her or something?”

“It’s disrespectful, that’s what it is.”, Jean was staring at the tree, voice tense, “He doesn’t deserve that, having his girl kiss a stranger on his own grave.”

“Mikasa is not his girl,” Annie disagreed, “He doesn’t own her.”

“I didn’t mean it like that….”

“Regardless,” Pieck cut in, “I think that it would be best to let Mikasa speak for herself.”

Taking the lead, she took the first steps towards the tree.

“Let’s go.”, Annie agreed, following her friend.

Soon all of them were moving.

Mikasa was still there in the same position, Armin noticed, still in the arms of that stranger. His back was to them and her eyes were closed so she didn’t see them coming, immersed in the kissing, the whole situation made only worse by the small giggle that left her lips when the guy pulled back for a moment. Look, Armin loved seeing her happy, but watching it happen here felt… wrong.

The pair totally ignored them, lost in the kissing, neither of them noticing the group that was a few feet away from them. Finally fed up with it, Jean cleared his throat, loud enough for them to hear. Mikasa’s eyes shot open as she pulled back from the kiss, her cheeks reddening immediately. Her gaze shot between the stranger’s face and them, embarrassment evident.

Slowly, very slowly the guy untangled himself from her arms, standing up and pulling Mikasa to her feet too. Only then did he turn, and Armin’s mind went blank.

No.

There was a ghost in from of him. A blushing enemy of humanity with kiss-swollen lips that didn’t let go of Mikasa’s hand after helping her stand, keeping them linked. An island devil that looked at each and every member of their group with a fond smile. Next to that beast, Mikasa hid her face in the red scarf, eyes ticking between everyone. The grave was still there, Armin saw, the small headstone with those fond words on it, a few flowers lying on the patch of ground. And yet….

The dead man, the walking corpse, the impossible, he opened his mouth and spoke.

“Hey guys, long time no see.”

#eremika #snk #chapter 139 #139 spoilers

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nightships · 3 years

Text

The Captain’s Cabin Part 1 (again)

It’s been ages, but @everything-person sent a kind ask about a broken link! I have a sneaky feeling tumblr didn’t like my shirtless edit of our fair Killian that I originally uploaded with the fic. There is ALMOST CERTAINLY a better way to do this, and maybe i’ll get the energy to go fix the links in the old posts, but in the meantime here’s a re-upload of chapter one! reminder that it’s also on ao3. check my “jess writes cs” tag for the rest.

“The Captain’s Cabin?”

Emma squinted up at the sign, covering her eyes to keep the morning light from turning her blind. It was a ridiculous name, if she said so herself. (Never mind that this was their first day in town, and she’d been the one to choose the place.)

“I don’t know about this,” she said, sliding her eyes back to the blonde girl at her side. “We could just get back in the car and find a nice, motel-side Arby’s.”

“We just spent five hours in the car, not counting the five minutes it took to find that parking spot, Emma,” Elsa whined, “If I don’t get to eat whatever it is I’m smelling right now, I think I might cry.”

Emma ceded, but only because the smell of fried seafood was calling to her too.

The two of them stepped out of the misty morning and into the little dockside restaurant, Emma shaking her hair out of her hooded anorak jacket and Elsa flinging her braid back over her shoulder. The lunch crowd was still milling about, mostly older citizens and young parents, and the two were only too happy to take their time finding seats. The walls were stained dark, as if the warm drizzle outside had penetrated the wood, and covered in weather-worn treasures that undoubtedly came from the nearby sea. One side of the small building stood on ground level, but the other seemed to stretch out toward the water. It was nice, Emma had to admit, nicer than the dorky sign on the front had led on.

The two of them chose seats at the end of the long bar, despite all earlier protests about sitting for any prolonged periods (ever again, Elsa had promised, one foot up on the dashboard and the other hanging out the passenger window.) Elsa busied herself tracing the faces of old sailors and fisherman pictured on the walls, while Emma watched the tide coming in.

It hardly looked pleasant out, but she was certain those little black blobs in the distance were boats. She ran her hand over the windowpane to get a clearer view and squinted again, trying to figure out exactly what kind of vessels had caught her attention.

“Can I help the both of you?”

Emma swiveled on the little barstool and found herself eye-level with a toothy, if welcoming, grin. The man was standing on the other side of the bar, his black shirt emblazoned with the same logo from the sign outside the restaurant. She had no idea how he snuck up on her like that, but Elsa answered him before she could voice her question back.

“You definitely can. We’ve been in the car for far too long, and we need food.”

“I’ll have to see if we’ve got any laying around, then,” he said with a bit of a laugh, seeming to relax into his smile as he regarded Emma more thoroughly. "Where are you traveling from?”

“Boston,” the both of them answered, tiredness coming through in Emma’s voice and restlessness coming through in Elsa’s.

He clicked his tongue and handed both of them menus, leaning a hip against the bar as he played with one of the bottles on the counter top. “Quite a long ways away, but at least you chose a beautiful day to come up. It’s not always this nice out.”

“You call this nice?” Emma chuckled, wrinkling her nose as she nodded toward the window. “It’s about to rain.” “On the contrary, lass. I’d reckon the sun’ll be out before you’ve finished your meal.” His smile was challenging her now, as if he was about to reach out into the air and ask her to shake on it.

“Speaking of,” Elsa said, swiveling her menu toward him and pointing at a dish. “Can I get this with curly fries?”

“There’s no way,” Emma said, shaking her head at the man. He was leaned over the counter, arms folded out in front of him. She thought she could see the beginnings of a tattoo on the inside of his arm but refused to inspect any further, knowing his eyes had been following her a little too closely already.

“Ah, but there is,” he sang out. “When you’ve lived here as long as I, you tend to get accustomed to the signs.”

"Nobody’s that good,” She pressed, crossing her arms in front of her. He’d been keeping them (well, keeping her,if Elsa’s less-than-subtle looks meant anything) company ever since they’d ordered a meal, and since then she’d come to know quite a bit about him. His name was Killian Jones, and it didn’t sound like an American name because it wasn’t. He and his brother had come over from the United Kingdom a few years ago and started up business here. They had a sailboat, of all things, moored out at the end of the restaurant’s dock, and that apparently gave him the ability to predict the weather. “You have to have checked an app, or something.”

He shook his head again, eyes sparkling as they regarded her. “I could show you, if you’d like,” he said, a bit of extra something in his voice as he made the offer. “Liam’s not quite done with your orders yet, and it won’t take long.”

Emma gave him a challenging look of her own, then, wondering just how many tourists got an invite out onto his sailboat while their meals were made ready. On the other hand, though, her legs weren’t nearly stretched enough after driving for so long, and she did like the idea of standing again.

“Oh, go do it,” Elsa said, tearing her straw wrapper into tiny little squares atop the bar. “I’ll wait here for when the food gets out.”

“See? She’ll wait here, for when the food gets out,” Killian said, sweeping his arm out toward Elsa and raising his brow at Emma. “Come on, Swan, don’t make a man beg.”

Again, Emma relented, but only because she would never hear the end of it from Elsa if she acted like going with him was a big deal.

“What made you pick Maine, of all places?”

They were both leaned against the rail of his sailboat (which was more than a little impressive, Emma grudgingly admitted. With something like this at her disposal, she’d probably spend a few cloudy days on the water, too) and watching the little town ferry pick up passengers from the neighboring dock. It’d made three trips since they came outside, passengers snapping pictures and laughing at the sea spray when they passed over particularly large curls of wake.

“I could ask you the same,” he countered, twisting his neck to regard her. She didn’t remember him coming to stand so close, exactly, but then the past twenty minutes had gone by without her thinking of a single excuse to run back to Elsa. (It definitely had nothing to do with the way he seemed to talk about the sea like it was his first love, that was certain.)

“It’s different,” she told him with a small laugh. “We’re not moving in.”

“We didn’t think we were either, to be honest. Liam and I had plans to sail up and down the coast, to pack up every time we thought we were getting too rooted down.”

“Guess that worked out for the two of you,” Emma countered, nodding back toward the restaurant. “Big change of plans?”

“You could say that.” His smile turned wistful then, almost dreamlike, and Emma found herself watching him as he turned his eyes back to the sea. She couldn’t tell if it was the way the sun was now warming their faces or simply the way he was born, but the ocean seemed pooled right there in his eyes, too. He turned to her then, catching her off guard once more with his closeness. “I’ll wager your food’s waiting for you now, love.”

Surprisingly reluctant to leave the peaceful, salty air out on the docks, Emma nodded, letting him lead her back inside. Most of the lunch rush had taken off by then, and it was almost too easy to hear her friend’s voice carrying through the restaurant as they stepped back through the doorway.

“- she’s not really my sister, even though she looks it, but we always take this big sisterly road trip in the spring to celebrate meeting each other. She pretends she hates long trips, but I know that - Emma!”

Emma’s eyes widened considerably as she saw her friend chatting up a dark-haired stranger, one whose head looked exactly like Killian’s from the angle she had on him. He turned then, a lighter shade of blue eyes meeting hers. He was wearing the same shirt as Killian, too, but all brotherly resemblance ended below eye level.

“You must be Emma,” the man said, straightening up off the barstool and reaching out a large, square hand. “Liam Jones, privilege to be at your services today.”

Emma could see Elsa’s bright eyes behind him, switching frantically between delight and panic. She had always been terrible at improvisation, especially when it came to someone she wanted to impress. Emma only smiled and shook his hand warmly, not missing the gigantic plate of curly fries that Elsa had placed between them. (She didn’t miss the look Liam gave to Killian, either, but she found herself wishing she’d seen it from Elsa’s perspective instead. As it was, he was standing too close to her for her to see.)

“Nice to meet you. Are you the one I need to thank for the sandwich waiting over at my seat?”

“I am, especially since my second-in-command was nowhere to be found,” Liam said pointedly, aiming his smirk at her instead of his brother this time. She managed not to blush, but there was no hiding the snort that came from Elsa at her seat.

Seeing the food on her plate reminded Emma of their reason for visiting, and she found herself lingering there long after her plate held nothing but crumbs, swapping travel stories with the two men who held the sea in their eyes. It was comfortable, just as much as her ride together with Elsa had been, and suddenly she found herself wondering what else they might have missed if they hadn’t pulled off the interstate to fuel up in the little seaside town.

(Elsa, for all her part, wasn’t even trying to be subtle as she offered Liam the last long curly fry on her plate, complaining when he told her it’d be ungentlemanly to take anything more from her plate than he already had. Her argument was that he’d made them, after all, and deserved to spend a little time savoring the dishes he made. They didn’t even notice it when Killian snuck the thing off her plate and ate it himself.)

“So,” Killian finally asks, stepping up to tackle the question they’d all been dancing around, “How long are the both of you in town?”

"Oh, we only planned on stopping for a few-” Emma felt the point of Elsa’s shoe dig into her shin then, effectively cutting her off before she could say anything drastic. Emma swiveled back and gave her just as deliberate and obvious a look, wondering what the hell had gotten into her.

“A few days. Maybe a week or two,” Elsa supplied, sipping at her water and refusing to meet Emma’s eyes. “We don’t really have to be back any time soon.”

Emma let it go after a moment, but only because she didn’t want that to be the last smile she saw on Killian Jones’ face.

#jess writes cs #the captain's cabin #captain swan ff #captain swan au #cs modern au #jess writes fic #TAGS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE #jeez i feel old and dusty #but here you go!

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wc-ff · 3 years

Text

There wasn't much to be done in a situation like this. What could you do?

Sage was almost sure she'd have to plead for her job back after having two detectives come in to take her to the station and interrogate her, leaving them with one less staff member for the day. They were already short and had called her in on her day off. She could always use the extra money so she agreed to work.

She knew they would come asking for her eventually but she didn't expect for it to be this soon and it showed in her demeanor. She couldn't stop moving around and fidgeting with her fingers as she sat all alone in the dull colored room. The room was cool but she still felt hot as she waited for them to come back in. Sage was also beginning to taste blood from the excessive amount of gnawing she was doing to the insides of her cheeks.

Her eyes couldn't do anything but dart around the room as she sat there. They had nothing else to focus on. She looked like a train wreck but was trying her best to seem as cool as a cucumber.

The detectives abruptly entered the room with stone cold glares on their faces. They weren't exactly looking at Sage though, and it made her a little nervous because she couldn't keep her eyes off of them.

Agents Morris and Steele sat down almost simultaneously, Morris releasing a slow sigh as Steele sat the case file on the table and opened it up. She sat a few pictures of the twins' dead disfigured bodies out in front of the platinum haired woman and Sage instantly winced. Her eyes quickly averted back up to the detectives. She could have kept the close up of the girls out of her imagination forever but now it was permanently etched there.

Still, no one said anything. She didn't know what they wanted her to say to those photos.

Sandra was getting tired of looking at this spec of dirt who she already felt most likely did the crime. She was just ready to put this woman behind bars so the case would be over with. At that point, there were no other leading suspects. "Do you know these two young ladies?" Her voice came out firm and slightly echoed throughout the plain room.

The only color on the walls was a dull gray that contrasted with the darkness of the double-sided windows the detectives were using to watch Sage before they entered themselves. The table and chairs they were sitting on were also metal and cold to the touch. The interrogation room was cool in general and wasn't quite designed to make people feel comfortable.

"No, I don't." Sage answered without so much as a second glance towards the disturbing pictures that were still laid out in front of her.

"That's Kaniya Holt," Sandra spoke as she pointed at one of the disfigured bodies, "and this right here is Malaysia Holt. Mayor Holt's twin daughters and only children. Well they were at least." She added, her eyes narrowing as she glared at Sage with her lips cut into a scowl.

Ronald felt like it was then his turn to speak up. He knew how worked up his partner could get and if this was a good cop bad cop scenario, she would most definitely be the bad cop. "And your phone?" He pulled the evidence bag containing her phone seemingly out of nowhere and placed it on the table. "Was found at the scene of the crime."

"And I saw you running away from the crime scene the next day when we were gathering evidence. Perhaps coming back for a certain cellphone you dropped while you were running away after you finished murdering those two girls." Agent Steele added, her voice stern like a mother scolding her child.

"What—no! I can explain that."

Sage barely even got to plea before Sandra cut in again. "Well you're gonna have to because surveillance cameras showed you running away from the crime scene around the estimated time of death. And after doing a little research... you have a motive better than anyone to hurt Malaysia and Kaniya."

The platinum haired woman's eyebrows instantly furrowed together. "What are you talking about motive? I just said that I don't know them." Her tone came out a bit more harsh now as she got defensive. She hated having to reiterate herself, it didn't matter who it was to.

Sandra only smirked and flipped through a few pages that rested in the manila folder sitting in front of her before laying out an article about Shamar's car accident from a couple of years ago. The headline read: Man Left in Critical Condition After Brutal Collision on Intersection.

Sage's face turned up in disgust and she pushed the article away, no longer wanting to read it. The way the title alone sounded as if there was no empathy involved when coming up with it was enough to turn her off completely. "What does this have to do with them?"

"Kaniya Holt was behind the wheel of the vehicle that hit your father and her sister was in the passenger seat. They both came out seemingly unscathed." Steele responded as if the woman was slow for even asking her the question. She knew exactly what the detective was talking about, Sandra was sure of it.

Sage stared at her for a while, unable to form any words to reply with as her eyes unwillingly swelled up with fresh salty tears. They were the reason that her father could never hug his family again? Why wouldn't anyone have told her that? "N-no, you're lying. I would have heard about it, the news would have reported about it."

"C'mon now. They're the mayors daughters and Kaniya didn't even have her driver's permit so the drivers of the other vehicle were kept under wraps and you're angry about that... aren't you?" Agent Morris' Italian accent was in full effect as questioned her, studying her behavior.

"Of course I am. My dad almost died! That girl should have been in jail, not protected. And y'all knew about this and just did nothing about it? You say your duty is to protect and serve but only when it's convenient, huh?" In all honesty with the news she had just received, Sage had completely forgotten what she was being interrogated about and was just livid as hell now. They did nothing to help her family when it was their job to do so. It made her realize how corrupt the world really was and how close to home it could hit.

"You're angry we didn't do something about it so you took it upon yourself to get justice for your dad. It's only human to feel that way and all but you have to own up to what you did now and sign a confession. These girl's families deserved justice too." Ronald continued, trying his best to sound as soothing as possible so he wouldn't upset her anymore than he knew she already was.

Sage immediately sucked her teeth. "For the last time, I don't know those fucking girls and fuck their families!" She stood up from her seat as the detectives just sat back and watched her point a harsh finger at them. "Neither them or you gave a fuck about my family when it came down to it. But that doesn't mean that I killed those girls."

"So who did then?"

The light caramel toned woman's words got caught in her throat as she tried to think of a response. She gulped hard as she sat down and began trying to explain everything that had happened that night. The date, why she was walking through that area in the first place, and what she saw and heard coming from that abandoned house that night. She hated reliving that moment but knew she had to for the sake of her freedom.

Sandra and Ronald looked at each other before looking back over at their suspect. "So you mean to tell me a 'black figure' beat them to death?" Agent Steele looked Sage dead in the eyes as if she was completely bored by the story she had just told her. It was unconvincing to say the least. She had the strongest motive and was literally in the area at the time of death. Sandra knew for certain that they had their man, they just needed to get this damn confession out of her and she was making it hard.

"I don't know how else to describe it. The person was dressed in black from head to toe, I couldn't see any skin."

"How convenient." Sandra gave her a sarcastic toothless grin, not moved by her story in the slightest.

Suddenly the door busted open and in walked Sage's mother followed by her attorney. "Sage, you don't have to say anything else."

It was sort of already too late. She had already said everything that she needed to say, she just didn't know where to go from there. The detectives didn't seem like they believed her at all.

Steele immediately rolled her eyes and closed up the case file, already knowing exactly where this was going and it annoyed her. She wasn't finished with the suspect, she knew she could break her down if she just had a bit more time with her. Everything lined up and pointed to her as the murderer but it was all circumstantial evidence. Neither her prints nor DNA were found in the actual house or on the persons of the deceased so they needed that confession from her to be able to make the arrest. Sandra was itching to slap some cuffs on her and finally close the case.

"If it's ok with you all, I'd like to take my daughter home now. You interrupted her life enough today." Sanai spoke in the voice she used when she was trying to sound as professional as possible.

Sandra scowled at the both of them but said nothing as she and Ronald watched them walk out of the door.

*******

Ronald sat in his office, typing away on his keyboard. His partner assumed he was doing the work to find more evidence on their case like she was, but instead he was chatting with a woman he had met on a dating app a few days ago.

She was average looking to him but she was of actual Italian descent and had a body that most women her age didn't have anymore so he felt like they could make something work. Thus far, she had been cool and funny. She had jet black hair that she had cut in a blunt bob that reached her shoulders, pale skin that had a few beauty marks scattered here and there, and thick fluffy eyebrows that arched perfectly over her dark brown eyes. She was a seven at the very least and since she exercised frequently, her body was nice and fit.

Ronald could only imagine how much stamina she'd have in bed. She seemed like she was down to find out too. They had planned to meet up that weekend at a bar for the first time and have a few drinks. He was ready to put that entire Chantell situation behind him now.

She had been texting him nonstop since the night before and apologizing about making him feel like she was playing with him but he could honestly care less. He said what he had to say already and wasn't going to spend anymore energy on it. He was too old to be playing games or going back and forth with anyone so he wasn't going to.

He already had his next few options lined up and while Chantell was one of the best looking ones, she wasn't the only one and that was something he felt he needed to make clear to her.

A light knock sounded off on his door which instantly caused his eyebrows to come together in confusion. Usually, Sandra would just barge right in without so much as a warning first so he was sure that it had to be someone else. "Come in." He called out, his eyes trained on the wooden office door.

As if he had thought her up himself, Chantell sashayed through the door and closed it shut behind her. Her bronzed skin was radiating and the lip gloss that coated her lips made them look extra kissable. An all black strapless sundress hugged her curves perfectly and she wore a pair of black furry Ugg slides on her feet to match, showcasing her freshly polished toes. Her hair was slicked back into a low curly puff with two stray curls hanging at her sideburns and framing her gorgeous face that was dressed in light makeup. Her natural beauty never failed to amaze Ronald. She looked good without even trying.

Still, he couldn't let her off the hook that quick. He wasn't about to allow her to hypnotize him. "What are you doin' in my office? I'm at work and my partner works right next door so if you think you're about to come bring drama into my workplace 'cause I ain't been answering you then you got another thing comin'." He seemed to say all in one breath while Chantell just inched closer to him.

She inwardly rolled her eyes about his nagging before he even knew what she was actually there for. She rounded the corner of his desk and approached him seductively causing him to roll back in his chair a bit, unsure of what her next move would be since the last thing he did was smack her food out of her hands and left her standing on her front porch.

Chantell reached out and lightly caressed his face, slowly making her way down to her knees. Within seconds, the detective's belt buckle was undone and his pants were unzipped. Ronald kept his arms at his sides but kept his eyes on her as she kept eye contact with him with each new movement she made.

Her soft plump lips wrapped themselves around the tip of his member, immediately causing it to begin to harden in her small hands. The middle aged man's eyes rolled to the back of his head as her tongue traced circles along the skin of his dick which had now grown stiff. She kept her eyes trained on him, knowing how it made men crazy when they looked in her eyes while her mouth was full of their manhood.

She was glad he wasn't an unattractive older guy because it would have made everything ten times harder. She knew she needed to get back into his good graces, especially after speaking about the surveillance video he was going to show her the night before. He couldn't leave her hanging like that.

One of Ronald's hands rested on the back of her head as she began bobbing it up and down, an audible grunt escaping his mouth which made her smirk to herself. She wasn't even giving her best effort and she still had him right where she wanted him.

Her spit slowly oozed down his shaft while she picked up her pace, deep throating the entirety of his length with no hands as loud gargling sounds filled his office. She continued to orally pleasure him, allowing herself to get sloppy and nasty with it until he released in her mouth, a long barely audible groan coming from his own since he was sure Sandra was still closed up in her office beside his.

Chantell gathered all of his nut and the tip of her tongue and traced small circles on his tip with it before sucking it back off and swallowing it whole, a smirk forming on her face as Ronald widened his eyes at her. She stuck her tongue out to show him that she hadn't missed a single drop of it.

He had never had a woman swallow his kids like that with no problem before. He couldn't do anything but watch her astonished. His ex-wife, Marjory, could and would never. She always said his semen was too salty to keep in her mouth and would spit it back onto him. He should have known she'd think that though because she barely seasoned her food.

"I'm sorry for what I said." She mumbled as she planted a light kiss on his skin of his shaft, batting her long mink eyelashes as she looked up at him. "Forgive me?"

Ronald couldn't even form any words so he just nodded his head instead which instantly made Chantell smile at him before standing to her feet. "Call me when you get off. Don't wanna get you into any issues with your partner." She added, along with a seductive wink before making her way back out of his office with a grin, twisting her ass with each step she took.

She had him right back where she wanted him.

*******

Loud and hurried knocks sounded off on Sergio's front door as if it were the police ready to break it down at any second. He smacked his lips and instinctively pulled his strap out from underneath his mattress before heading over to find out who the hell was banging on his door like that.

He looked through the peephole and immediately furrowed his eyebrows when he saw his sister's face staring back at him. They hadn't had any type of contact with each other since the day he went over there and Sanai slapped him. Sage hadn't texted him either so he wasn't sure what she was here for but he unlocked the door and swung it open anyway.

Sage instantly barged in, pushing Sergio with all her strength and causing him to stumble back a few feet, twisting his face up as he glared at her like she had lost her mind. He wasn't sure what she was mad about now but he didn't have the time or patience for her shenanigans at the moment. "Fuck is wrong with you?"

"What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you!" She pushed him again and this time he forcefully grabbed her wrists, snatching them away from him. "You're the one that told me to watch the news so you knew who those girls were!"

Once he realized what she was rambling on about, his faced straightened out into a more bored expression. He was just telling her to let her know, he didn't think it would be a problem. "And?"

"And when you and daddy got into that accident, they were the ones driving the car that hit you. You didn't think that was something I should know?" Her face was a reddish tint and her blood was boiling at this point. Her family kept so many big things from her all the time when all she did was help them and she was beginning to get really tired of it.

Sergio slightly rolled his eyes at her dramatics. She was always overreacting to things that weren't that big of a deal and then blew up the same way she was doing now. "Why would you need to know that? You wasn't in the car. You wasn't even in the state. You wasn't around when it happened so it's irrelevant." He shrugged.

Sage only glared at him for a split second before she swung but her little brother's reflexes were a bit quicker than hers and he swiftly dodged out of the way in time before grabbing both of her arms and spinning her so that her back was to him as he pinned her hands by her sides. "Aye, stop fuckin' hitting me!"

"They think I killed them because dad got hurt and they didn't get in trouble for the accident. You should have fucking told me that when you found out it was them!" Tears were coming to her eyes because she was so pissed she couldn't take her anger out on him. He was stronger than her and had an advantage.

"I don't like talking about that shit Sage, you know that." Sergio retorted right before his sister abruptly stomped on his foot causing him to involuntarily let go of her as he howled in pain. He was barefoot and only wearing slides so he felt all of the creases from the bottom of her shoe sink into his toes.

Sage quickly tried to gain an advantage over him with the time she had bought herself but was again pinned down ten seconds later. Now they were both angry and their tempers were no match for each other. "You wouldn't understand Sage."

"No, I don't understand because you don't tell me shit and I barely see you because you moved out and never come around except when you feel like it. Mom was right, you're selfish!"

Sergio smacked his teeth. "Man, fuck you and fuck mom. Both of y'all bitches can go choke on a dick. Y'all not the ones that gotta walk around everyday feeling like it's your fault your family's fucked up now. We used to be close and now we always fighting and I'm the one that gotta carry that burden, not y'all."

"Gio, what the fuck are you even talking about? How could it be your fault when dad was protecting you from those girl's reckless driving? And they said they found you only with a few cuts and a broken arm in the passenger seat which was a miracle considering they hit that side."

Sage couldn't even see her brother's face because her back was turned to him but if she could, she'd know that he was silently shedding a few tears. He hated to be reminded of that night but it seemed like no matter what he did, even years later it would never stop. "They weren't the ones in the wrong that night, Sage. Kaniya just didn't have her permit but her light was green."

"So their light was green. That still doesn't make everything your fault, you weren't even driving—"

"I was driving, Sage!" He snapped causing the entire house to fall into an eerie silence. Sage began to put all the pieces of the puzzle together, realizing why her brother barely liked to come around or why he rarely saw his father in the hospital unless Shamar was asleep.

He felt guilty for being the reason their dad was the way he was and he beat himself up everyday for ruining his family with just one dumb mistake he wished he could take back. Everything was starting to make sense to her. The drugs, the isolation, the constant state of anger Sergio always seemed to be in. She couldn't even say it wasn't his fault because it was. He had only just turned fifteen when it happened so she was sure he didn't have his license and he still ran a red light.

"So why'd they say they found you in the passenger seat?"

Sergio released her arms and walked away from her, running his hands over his face as he began pacing the ground. He had lived with his secret for two years and hadn't told a soul. He wanted to keep it that way because he didn't want her to look at him any differently but something in him had to let her know. "They did find me there... I knew I would never be able to get my license if I was the one responsible for the accident so I switched me and dad around before the cops could show up and when they did, I acted like I had passed out from the impact so they wouldn't suspect anything. And dad never told them nothing either."

"So you moved daddy to the driver's seat? What if he was..." She trailed off, not even wanting to think of the possibility of her father passing away. Him getting hurt was enough heartbreak for her. "You really would have just let him take the fall like that?"

Sergio didn't look at her nor did he answer verbally but that told her everything she needed to know. She shook her head as she looked at her brother, barely being able to recognize the chirpy teenager she had left in charge of helping out their parents when she first went off to college.

With tears clouding her vision, she slowly began backing out of her brother's house before turning on her heel and running out the door.

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givemestories-givemelife · 4 years

Text

Blueberries, Lavender & Hot Matcha Tea (Part 2)

A SasuHina ficlet

PART 1| Part 2

AN: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THOSE WHO COMMENTED, OR RE-BLOGGED, OR LIKED THE FIRST PART TO THIS FIC. It truly means more than I can say. Helped a lot with motivation and it’s super cool to know that people are reading the things I write. I hope the follow up chapter doesn’t disappoint <3

Summary: Hinata has a run in with a familiar face.

Warnings: Brief mentions of grief and anxiety (because Hinata’s a nervous butterfly) but nothing remotely heavy. Also there’s alcohol consumption.

Word count: 6167

__________________________

Lavender

Hinata knows that she needs to start putting herself out there. She can’t stay holed up comfortably in her room while years of her life pass on by, listening to cigarettes after sex under the safe warmth of her white fluffy blanket that still smells like her late mothers perfume, and sniffing essential oils like they’re some kind of soft-core drug to distract her spiralling thoughts from every embarrassingly mortifying predicament she’s ever found herself in.

She’s been trying really hard not to think about spilling her extra hot matcha latte all over this potentially handsome stranger a few days ago. She thinks - potentially - because she did not have the courage to look at the man's face after maiming him and probably ruining his expensive suit!

Hinata’s sure she must have ruined his entire morning, which must have ruined his whole day, and now he probably hates her. Oh goodness, Hinata strongly dislikes the thought of people out there in this world walking around hating her.

Wow, these thoughts are entirely useless, she really needs to stop her brain from going down these awful paths.

Today Hinata has decided to try really hard not to wallow in the comfort of all her numbing guilty pleasures.

So, when Sakura Haruno, the loud and outgoing girl with pretty pink hair, who always smells like strawberries and vanilla from her photography course asked if she wanted to hangout and work on their portfolio’s after class; Hinata was thankful for the distraction.

They had spent that afternoon drinking green tea at the kitchen table in Sakura’s little homey apartment, showing each other their favourite pieces and sharing feedback.

“You have to include this one, it’s so cute” Sakura gushes, pointing at a print of children finger painting; a mischievous little boy is smearing bold red paint all over the face of a girl whose expression is twisted in pure terror.

“You have a real talent for capturing the essence of people.” She continues in a dreamy tone, “it’s like you’re able to capture the moment they’re most alive, even if it’s just the little moments, y’know?”

Hinata blushes at the complement, “th-thank you Sakura.”

“It's kind of ironic that people are your main muse considering how afraid of them you are.” She teases.

“I’m not sca-AhyH!”

Of course, that’s the moment a woman with a giant blond ponytail barges through the door brandishing a bouquet of peonies making Hinata squeal. “Sakura I swear to god if you ate the last of the ice-cream again, I’m gonna- Oh! hello there.” The crazy flower lady stops mid-threat noticing a stranger in her apartment.

“Ino this is Hinata from class, Hinata this is my roommate Ino.” Sakura introduces, failing to constrain her laughter.

Ino’s demeanor does a 180 as she gently rests the flowers on her lacquered kitchen counter and approaches Hinata in a trance like state. “Your hair is so long and gorgeous, it totally reminds me of the violets we have at the flower shop -- you have to let me braid it.” She breathes and Hinata’s eyes are as wide as the sky outside.

“Ino, tone it down you’re going to scare her.” Sakura chides, rolling her eyes, not at all surprised by her roommate's antics. “Do you always have to act like such a spazz?”

“I am but a simple girl who is a slave to all things beautiful.” Ino proudly counters running her fingers through blue strands and Hinata mentally notes that she smells like a garden.

Sakura’s phone vibrates on the kitchen table, “it’s Naruto,” she says glancing at the screen. “Wondering when we’ll be coming over.”

“I don’t know, an hour or two? Tell him we’re bringing Hinata!” Ino adds excitedly and starts to braid blue hair without permission. “You should come out tonight with Sakura and I, meet the rest of the gang.”

“Oh.” In high school Hinata was never able to make friends with girls, and spent most of her time in the photography club’s black room developing pictures. Her introverted nature made it difficult to connect with people, but in this moment, the prospect of meeting Sakura’s friends, and the inclusive enthusiasm from these girls is making Hinata a little emotional. “I-I don’t know.”

“Hinata, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to, but I think it could be good for you,” Sakura encourages.

“Carpe diem bitch,” is Ino’s convincing addition.

Hinata giggles, absent mindedly sniffing her wrist searching for the comforting sweet scent of the fragrance she’s wearing today, “yeah, okay.”

Ino makes a pleased sound and saunters over to a kitchen drawer to snatch a pair of scissors and clips the head off of one the peonies, then ties it into the base of Hinata’s braid. “You really have no idea how cute you are Hinata,” she coos observing her work in admiration and Hinata feels warm all over.

Hinata likes the rapport between Ino and Sakura, there’s something about their friendship that she finds inspiring.

When they split what’s left of the chocolate ice-cream and start getting ready for a night out, Hinata can’t help pulling out her camera and snapping shots of Ino with her shades of purple and Sakura’s vibes in red. Hinata feels outshined in her usual high waisted mom jean and oversized grey patterned sweater.

But that’s okay, she still feels like one of the girls.

~~~

Ino had made a strong case for wanting to get her steps in for the day, (since her fitbit said she had only reached 8243 so far) convincing the girls to walk to Naruto’s apartment instead of taking the bus. On their stroll Sakura and Ino began giving Hinata character profiles of everyone she was going to meet and Hinata found them to be quite amusing.

Ino playfully starts with, “Shikamaru’s like, my best bro. I’ve known him forever, smartest guy I know but a total stoner and he doesn’t give a fuck about anything.

“Choji gives the best hugs and he loves giving them, so if he looks like he’s going in for one - just let it happen - you’ll hurt his feelings if you don’t.”

“Naruto and Kiba are basically the same person and are the biggest loudest dorks on the planet,” Sakura chimes in, “but they’re also super friendly and kinda funny if you can get over their lack of brain cells.”

“Then there’s Sasuke,” Ino says, and hearing that name strikes a familiar chord with Hinata, triggering flashes of fond memories. “He’s really hot, but kind of a dick,” Ino hugs herself smiling at a distant memory, “basically, we all know each other from going to the same high school -”

“Ino and I had the hugest rivalry back then because we both wanted him.”

“What happened?” Hinata really wanted to ask if they were talking about Sasuke Uchiha, but didn’t want to interrupt the momentum of their story.

“We were so stupid causing all sorts of drama in our little social circle nearly tearing it apart, and Sasuke wasn’t having any of it, one day he told us to grow the fuck up and to leave him alone.” That did kind of sound like something Sasuke would say, but that would just be too big of a coincidence, wouldn’t it?

“We both cried.” Sakura snickers sheepishly.

“Eventually we finally realized that friendships should be forever-”

“And boyfriends are whatever.” Both girls enthusiastically finish the rehearsed line making silly faces at each other.

Hinata giggles at that, whishing she had taken a picture, “awe, that’s so cute.”

“And now he’s one of our good friends, but I just want to warn you that he can be cold and he can be mean and if he says something dickish, please don’t take it personally.”

Hinata hums, only half listening to Ino. Was it possible that when Hinata arrives at this apartment she was going to be face to face with the childhood friend she hasn’t seen in over a decade?

Guess she’ll just have to wait and see.

~~~

When Hinata enters the apartment, her senses are immediately overstimulated; it smells salty like ramen and sour with beer which clashes with how clean and pristine the space actually is. It’s decorated with blacks, whites and a few splashes of colors, but overall has a very minimalist feel.

Hinata barely has time to kick her shoes off before she’s surrounded by strangers, and can’t stop the heat from suffusing her face from the disorienting barrage of unwanted attention.

“Hey bitches!” Ino yells at the group, “we’re here! We know you missed us!”

“This is the beautiful Hinata,” Sakura adds, and Hinata really wants to hide under a rock somewhere. “Be nice okay, she’s really shy.”

“Hey I’m Naruto.” A blond man appears beaming at her, outstretching his hand. “I have never seen eyes that look like your eyes before!”

“Oh.” Hinata went to shake his hand but was interrupted by another hand grabbing hers and kissing it, which is so uncalled for.

“And I’m Kiba, don’t listen to that guy, he’s a complete moron.” He says with a wolfish grin and Hinata has no idea what’s going on anymore.

When she tries to turn away, she’s met with the kind face of a stout man in a green Zelda t-shirt with his arms wide open for an inviting hug. She decides to accept her fate by awkwardly stepping forward wearing a confused pout, and lets the arms of a stranger wrap around her in what is surprisingly one of the best hugs she has ever received. He smells nice, Hinata thinks. Savoury and warm like a thanksgiving dinner. For a moment she actually feels safe, like a veil has been thrown over the sudden wave of chaos, giving her a quiet moment for her heartbeat to settle, “I’m Choji, it’s really nice to meet you Hinata, try not to worry so much, everyone here is harmless, I promise.” He says, rubbing gentle circles on her back.

When Choji pulls away, he sends her one last reassuring smile before padding off towards the ponytailed man currently dying of laughter, and joining him on a leather couch. Choji grabs a handful of potato chips from a bowl on the marble coffee table and starts earnestly snacking.

Snacks! Snacks sound really nice right now! Tasting tasty things can sometimes be a good distraction when Hinata is overwhelmed. She self-consciously shuffles forward towards the provisions, drawn towards the colorful array of fresh fruits, grabbing a small handful of blueberries and popping one of them in her mouth. She tries to ignore the pair legs in her periphery... she needs a moment before making another introduction.

Hinata jumps feeling a presence directly behind her, she twirls around to see Naruto pulling back appearing extremely guilty.

What was he doing? Was he pointing at her hair?

“Hehehe, sorry about that,” he says, smiling sheepishly, and scratches the back of his head, “I was just pointing out to my friend here, how beautiful your hair is, what a wonderful shade of blue,” he made a weird face directed at someone over her head, “are you enjoying those, blueberries?”

Okay.

Hinata hears more laughter coming from ponytail boy on the couch.

Weird.

Hinata turns to see who Naruto is looking at and-

Oh.

Sasuke?

Sasuke was here.

It was her Sasuke!

She instantly looks away, eyes wide, staring down at the hardwood floors.

Well, not her Sasuke. But an older version of the one she knew as a child. The one she met that one summer years ago and spent nearly every day with him before her mother fell ill and her family moved away in the wake of tragedy.

And he was... Glaring at her? No, he was glaring at Naruto? He kind of looked like he recognized her, but why would he be glaring?

“This is fucking stupid,” Sasuke seethes and takes off towards the kitchen, where Kiba and Ino are talking and drinking.

Ouch.

Sakura approaches Hinata with a glass in hand, Hinata stares at the ice clinking as she offers it, “vodka soda, with lime?”

Well, one drink couldn’t hurt, Hinata thinks.

She glances over at a brooding Sasuke leaning on the kitchen island sipping his beer.

She might need it.

~~~

It’s nearly an hour later and Hinata feels the dread sinking deep into the pit of her stomach. She desperately wishes she could conjure up some courage, approach Sasuke, and see how he’s been after all these years, but he still hasn’t left from his spot in the kitchen.

She’s starting to believe that maybe he doesn’t recognize her, which is a rather sad thought.

Hinata also appears to be at the butt end of some sort of mean inside joke that she doesn’t understand, ponytail bo- Shikamaru and Naruto joined Sasuke in the kitchen and kept making not-so-subtle glances her way -- but whatever -- she’s a big girl, she’s not going to cry about it even if she wants to.

Currently she’s sitting on the puffy leather couch between Choji and Sakura, Sakura is sharing the memes she’s saved onto her phone this month with Ino and Kiba while Hinata stares down at the melting ice in her drink and Choji attempts to calm her with platitudes.

Hinata doesn’t regret coming tonight despite feeling like the biggest fool in existence.

After all, tonight she actually has the opportunity to reconnect with someone she still thinks about, even after all these years.

She has always wondered what had happened to that bratty boy she met that one summer.

The sinking feeling grows deeper and Hinata feels her heart beating in the drums of her ears.

She takes one last tentative sip before downing the rest of her drink and summons every ounce of bravery she didn’t know she had to strengthen her resolve.

She stands from the couch with shaky determination ignoring Choji’s concerned inquiry, then forces one foot in front of the other strait towards the guiding bright lights of the kitchen.

The easy conversation awkwardly dies down when she arrives beside Naruto and Sasuke. She feels both their gazes land on her, and Hinata spots an ugly orange magnet on the stainless-steel fridge Sasuke is leaning on that has the phrase - believe it! - stamped on it and chooses to direct most of her focus on the positive affirmation.

“Uh, hey Hinata, you doing okay?” Naruto asks, slightly taken aback. Hinata nods still focusing on the magnet, face heating up as the beginning of a buzz tingles in the corners of her mind. “Can I get you another drink?”

She looks down at the empty glass she grips and nods again, muttering a quiet thank you, and handing it over. He takes it and moves further down the island to chat with Shikamaru and starts making her another.

“Hi Sasuke,” she forces passed her chapped lips.

“Hello Hinata.” Sasuke says, sounding about as uncomfortable as she feels and she looks up, hopeful, to meet his burning gaze and quickly looks back at that stupid orange magnet.

“So, you do remember me?” She asks, confused as to why he’s been ignoring her since her arrival.

“I remember how two days ago you ran into me quite rudely, burning me with tea.”

Hinata’s brain short-circuits.

“Wait what!?-”

No! No no no no no. Impossible. No.

“-That- that was you? oh my god, oh no! I am so sorry about that, I really wasn’t looking where I was going, I-I can’t believe this, I swear you just came out of nowhere though, oh my goodness, I can’t believe that was-”

“Please just stop before you give yourself an aneurysm.” Sasuke lifts his hands in a placating manner and Hinata snaps her mouth shut. “So that’s not how you seem to know me?” He asks, further rankling as the conversation drags on.

“So you don’t remember me.” She says mostly to herself, completely humiliated by this entire exchange, every time she opens her mouth it’s like falling down a flight of stairs -- Hinata seriously wishes she would reach the bottom already.

“Remember you from... where?”

“I-I mean I guess it’s not that surprising, we were only nine or ten at the time and it-it was only one summer... over a decade ago... You-you never really did call me by my name either.” Hinata says focusing on her twiddling fingers, her voice barely above a whisper, a pensive smile framing her lips at the memory.

There’s a long drawn out silence before Sasuke slowly asks, “...Tomato face?”

Hinata feels her face burn red at the old moniker, nodding. “Yeah...”

“Hyuuga, Hinata. Shit. Yeah. I do remember.”

The culminating tension finally releases from the moment and Hinata smiles at the black and white tiles breathing just a little bit easier.

He remembers.

“Wait... Did I hear you call her a tomato?” Naruto returns with a mildly amused Shikamaru in tow, handing Hinata her drink, and looks between the pair completely intrigued.

~~~

It didn’t take long for the word to spread that Hinata and Sasuke were childhood friends and everyone congregated into the small-ish kitchen asking curious questions.

It also didn’t take long for everyone to lose interest when Naruto nudged Hinata and started grilling her for embarrassing details of what a prepubescent Sasuke was like, earning him a surly glare. Hinata shyly shrugged saying, “I-I don’t really remember, it was a long time ago.”

Safe to say -- Naruto didn’t buy it, but surprisingly didn’t press further, and the group dispersed, leaving them to reacquaint.

The conversation between them after that was unfortunately still quite awkward, thankfully, Hinata wasn’t entirely to blame.

They exchanged small talk, Hinata mentions that she actually works at Heaven’s Little Corner and was just coming off her shift early when she ran into him the other day, and Sasuke talks about going to school and getting a Bachelor's degree in Business and how he focused on E-commerce after graduation. Overall, their -- re-connecting -- consisted of the typical pleasantries involved in catching up, and Hinata couldn’t distinguish if she was disappointed or relieved when their conversation came to a lull and she couldn’t think of anymore pointless verbiage to drag it along.

What she really wanted was to reminisce over hot days on the beach, collecting tiny crabs to occupy the sandcastles they built, and how Hinata had found sand in her hair days after the event. She wanted to talk about ice-cream and food fights and sneaking out to gaze at the stars in the night sky way past their bedtime, and how they pondered if aliens exist.

“I think the universe is too big for there not to be something out there somewhere.”

She remembers Sasuke saying, thoughtfully looking up.

“I-I think you’re an alien.”

She said back, earning her an indignant huff.

“Whatever tomato face.”

She wanted to talk about how simple everything was when they were kids, how she misses that naivety and how scary the world had revealed itself to be over the years.

Hinata was never good at making friends, even as a child, but she could still look back and she knew that Sasuke was one. He had been the last mark on her childhood that had made it a good one, the last moments she had to truly be a kid before she lost her mother, the truest love she had ever felt, forcing her to grow up.

Instead silence overtakes the kitchen and they both stare at their drinks unsure of what to say.

Sasuke isn’t how she remembers him at all. Yeah, he has the same face, just matured, and the same haughtiness, but the spark for life that had once inspired her seemed to be gone.

Which is an unfair thought to have, she admits, but she can’t stop herself from thinking it.

“Well I think it’s time to go on an adventure,” Naruto awkwardly offers.

“An adventure?” Hinata repeats, eyes growing wide.

“Naruto’s idea of an adventure is leaving the house and walking around the block.” Sasuke says rolling his eyes.

“Hey anything can be an adventure if you let it!”

~~~

It smells like damp grass and Hinata nearly jumps out of her skin as Naruto’s roar of triumph echo's off the surrounding buildings, catching the glow in the dark frisbee Kiba threw him. Sakura and Ino had joined them in their late-night excursion and Hinata can’t suppress the giddy giggles from watching them stumble about attempting athleticism when they are clearly four or five drinks deep.

She snaps a few photos and decides that she likes Naruto’s philosophy of approaching even the mundane aspects of life as an adventure.

This whole day certainly has felt like one.

Hinata puts her camera away, feels the chill in the October air, and pulls her scarf tighter. She casts a glance over at the park bench where Shikamaru was smoking a joint to see that he’s now casually chatting about... string theory? -- to Choji, who continues to nod his head like he understands.

Her trailing gaze then lands on Sasuke and-

Hinata immediately looks back towards the glowing air bound frisbee.

He was watching her - he looked suspicious - Hinata doesn’t know of what.

“Hey Sakura,” Hinata tries to call out, voice wavering, “it’s getting late, I think I-I should start heading home.”

That seems to put a halt on the physical activity for a moment, she’s then hugged by every frisbee player.

“It was nice meeting you Hinata.”

“Come back any time.”

“Yes please! We need more girls in our group, Sakura and I are severely outnumbered.”

“Are you sure you don’t want us to walk you?” Sakura slurs slightly, pulling away from the tight embrace.

“I’ll be fine, thank you Sakura,” Hinata smiles at her newest friend and turns to leave but stops at the bench to wave goodbye at Choji and Shikamaru, earning her a warm smile and a lazy nod. She looks at Sasuke’s arms proudly crossed over his broad chest and says, “it was nice seeing you again Sasuke.” And makes her way down the busy street, casting one last glance behind her just in time to see Sakura jump on Ino piggyback style to catch the frisbee in an impressive display of drunken camaraderie.

She smiles wider to herself. Wow. Today was a good day. An Adventure! Even if seeing Sasuke again was really weird and awkward and not at all how she wished it could have gone, she still met a lot of new people – Sakura's friends are so nice! They made her feel right at home and didn’t make her feel too weird about being shy and -

“Hey, Hinata.”

Hinata startles, hearing the sound of her name accompanied by footsteps catching up and her breath hitches when she turns to see Sasuke slowing down next to her.

“S-Sasuke? What are you-”

“I’m going to walk you home,” he snorts like it’s obvious, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his black jacket, “it’s late.”

“Oh,” Hinata hugs herself, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious and maybe even a little nauseous as they walk in silence, their steps in sync.

She can feel the heat of his gaze on her and Hinata makes a point to stare at the crispy autumn leaves on the pavement – yeah – Hinata has no idea what to make of this.

“You know it finally makes sense now, why I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Hinata trips over nothing, “you what?”

Leaves. Look at the leaves. The beautiful burnt orange leaves. Just. Keep. Looking.

“At the coffee shop, there was something about you, I couldn’t get you out of my mind. Guess I thought you were familiar somehow.” Sasuke shrugs, with an air of nonchalance as they cross the street.

“Oh,” Hinata’s starting to feel warm, she doesn’t know if it’s from their quickening pace, the two drinks she’s had or how Sasuke is close enough for their shoulders to brush.

“It’s kind of crazy that we’d run into each other like this, after all these years.”

Hinata stops walking and Sasuke mirrors her. There’s something in his tone that catches Hinata off guard, something almost fond? Hinata looks back in the direction of his friends, they’re about five blocks away now.

Sasuke seemed... different than how he’s been all night -- more open somehow. Maybe he feels weird about their earlier interactions too, but didn’t feel comfortable acting this way in front of his friends? Sasuke’s always been a very private person, even as a child.

“Yeah it is,” Hinata bites her lip and throws him a timid fleeting smile, silently wishing she knew what was going through his mind.

“So, why did you come back to Konoha.”

“I-uh-” Hinata starts playing with the hem of her sweater and reminds herself it’s good to open up, “-wanted to figure out this life thing for myself – be independent - if my dad had his way, I’d never leave home or do anything that wasn’t part of his plan-” she tapers off, distracted by the approaching sound of music, a dumb smile spreads across her face when she sees an old skinny man on a sparkly bicycle riding past them on the road blaring ‘Dancing Queen’ from an oversized speaker he probably installed himself -- he seemed so – in the moment, like all that existed was him and the music filling the streets that he owned – Hinata silently mourns the missed opportunity of capturing that moment forever in a-

“You were saying,” Sasuke pokes her shoulder harder than necessary, bursting her from her reverie, and starts leading her down concrete stairs away from the bustling main road of the city, towards the waterfront.

“Right,” Hinata continues feeling energized from the random encounter and embarrassed from being caught drifting away in a daydream when they were in the middle of a conversation, “it was – uh - hard to leave my sister, but she encouraged me to go, that I should at least attempt to do the dream chasing thing.” Hinata pats her shoulder bag in reference to her camera. “I saved up some money and here I am, making it up as I go.”

“Hm, you always were snapping pictures everywhere you went.”

Their steps slow to a stop once they reach the cold metal railing where tourists gather during the day overlooking the docks, but it’s mostly quiet at this time of night.

It smells cold from the breeze and salty from the ocean. The lampposts must need changing because the only light is from the half-moon in the cloudless sky, casting them in dark shades of blue.

Hinata takes a deep breath observing the skyline and the colorful lights reflecting in the undulating ocean waves, then asks the question that’s been bothering her since their seemingly kismet reunion. “What do you remember after all this time?”

“I remember...” He trails off, Hinata doesn’t miss the sly edge in his tone. “That I had told you I’d marry you one day,” his voice is deep, almost gravely when he takes a slow playful step closer and Hinata swears her heart skips several beats noticing their breaths mixing in the cold air between them. “And that... you were technically my first kiss.” He says with a sarcastic snort, stepping back, and gesticulates somewhere behind them. “You can’t tell them about it though. Especially Naruto, the idiot would never let me live it down.”

Hinata blushes at the memory and attempts to mask her frown with an indignant pout, trying not to take the jeer personally.

Sasuke always did like to mess with her.

“You were my only kiss.” Hinata then whispers without thinking and regrets it. She immediately hates the implications -- like she’s some inexperienced-love-sick-twenty-something, who’s never gotten over her childhood crush.

Hinata sighs, briefly drowning in her own self-deprecating thoughts, gripping at the railing, eyes a passing ship, and pretends she can’t feel him studying her, surprised by the admission.

“What do you remember?” He asks back, finally breaking the silence.

She bites her lip, thinking, a rush of memories flashing one by one, settling on their goodbye -- her sobbing because she had to move away to a new city thousands of miles away that had special doctors who could treat her mother, how Sasuke was speechless and could only squeeze her tight in the first and only hug they had ever shared.

She remembers how he always told her she should stand up for herself, even against him, and she remembers how sometimes when she was around, he’d bite his tongue, holding back petulant sneers.

There’s a small quirk to her lips when she softly says, “Looking back, I-I always thought that we brought out the best in each other.”

There’s another long silence and Hinata once again feels the heavy weight of his gaze examining her, he reaches out and she stiffens when he gently grips the base of her braid touching the bright pink flower there.

“Did Ino do this?” He quietly asks, and there something hidden in his voice that shifts the mood of their conversation, and he’s close again, close enough for their visible breaths to once again mix, his fingers trail down towards the tail end of her braid.

“Uh huh.” Hinata breathes, watching his fingers play with the tip of her strands.

“Why can’t you…” he starts to ask, unsure, but curious, “never mind.” He let’s go of the braid, huffing lightly in frustration and leans on the railing, looking out towards the roaring waves.

Hinata’s stunned by his sudden apprehension. "Why can’t I what?”

“I said never mind.”

“But… I- I want to know.”

“Why can’t you look at me?”

“Oh.”

Sasuke sighs, “you don’t have to answer.”

Hinata bites her lip hard, internally wincing. “I-it’s not just you it’s most people really.” She starts, racking her brain for the right words “- It’s -it’s embarrassing… Well everything is embarrassing but, I get anxious about nothing all the time? And looking at people. I don’t know. I get paranoid that they can hear my thoughts or something? Not that I’m thinking about anything weird, well sometimes I am… it’s easier when they’re not looking back at me... Anyways... I guess it’s just become a bad habit now…” she sighs and smiles bitterly at the mess that just flew out of her mouth. “So, to summarize, looking at people kind of sometimes really freaks me out?”

“I see,” Sasuke says, Hinata glances at his mouth, he’s smiling a little, it’s almost warm in an amused sort of way, which completely disarms her.

Hinata’s tongue feels dry, “uhm, do-do you ever feel anxious?”

“Never. I get annoyed or frustrated with people very easily though, which can be problematic, not that I care”

“I guess some things never change then.” Hinata teases gently.

Sasuke smirks, he seems ready to retort with a quip but retreats and opts for something entirely different, “are there things that help you with your anxiety?”

There’s something about the question that makes Hinata feel warm all over, she never really gets to talk about these kinds of things without it feeling like it would dampen the mood, but there’s surprisingly no judgement in his tone, he seems genuinely curious, which encourages her to open up some more, "I find different scents to be calming, so I wear whatever my current favorite essential oil is on my wrist every day and whenever I feel too overwhelmed,” Hinata begins to explain in a rush pulling her sleeve up to demonstrate and presents Sasuke her wrist, “I close my eyes, count down from ten and-” Hinata’s breath catches in her throat and her eyes fly open when Sasuke gently pulls her forward by the wrist and she feels the softness of his lips brush over her pulse, then draws in a slow breath to scent the fragrance she chose to wear that day, “...and... sniff.”

Oh goodness, is it getting hot out here? Because Hinata’s face feels like it’s about to burst into flames. Hinata debates pulling her arm back but is currently enraptured by the softest look she’s seen on the Uchiha’s face this evening.

This feels way too intimate, and Hinata thinks she likes it. Hinata thinks that maybe this is what’s been missing in her life. The feeling of being close to someone in more ways than just proximity. Is it possible she’s been physically and emotionally touch starved for years without realizing it?

That’s a thought that petrifies her. How sleeping on your basest human needs can become a habit, and you find yourself going through the trivial motions of existence, not bothering to search for more, for something that makes your heart sing, twist, and turn into itself the way that muscle pumping blood through her circulatory system at a quickening pace is doing right now.

“Lavender,” Sasuke murmurs against her wrist and his breath feels hot on her skin, Hinata struggles for breath when the sensation brings her back to the present moment and she realizes that she’s been staring directly into his darkened obsidian eyes, boring into hers and she finds herself unable to look away. A subtle look of achievement flashes through them when he softly asks, “you okay there?”

Is she dead? Is she imagining this? This whole situation with the soft touches coinciding with depressing epiphanies triggered by Sasuke smelling her suddenly seems completely absurd, and Hinata’s not sure she’ll be able to form a coherent sentence any time soon.

“I uh, uhm.” There’s definitely something wrong with Hinata’s voice when she attempts to speak.

“I think that...” Sasuke smoothly adjusts their hands to interlock their fingers and his hand feels so warm in hers, “you should go out with me.”

What is happening?

“No.”

Hinata kinda meant to say yes, but sure, no works too?

“What?”

“I mean, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Hinata winces slightly. Gosh what is she even saying? Is this some sort of weird defense mechanism because she’s afraid of getting hurt?

Sasuke nods slowly, narrowing his eyes, “why not.”

Don’t you have to risk getting hurt to get anywhere in life that’s worth while?

“I-I don’t know.”

“Hn.” Sasuke breaks eye contact and lets their holding hands fall. Hinata reels at the loss of warmth. He turns away from her and crosses his arms over the railing and looks out towards the dark rhythmic waves of the ocean. Hinata worries her bottom lip between her teeth as she studies the man before her. The moonlight is hitting the sharp angles of his face just perfect, and Hinata’s in awe. He’s all grown up now, and by default that means Hinata is too. Yet, here they are, the oldest they’ve been, and still the youngest they will ever be.

Nostalgia floods through Hinata’s system, deciding to grab the moment instead of letting it pass. She’s not sure when she pulled the camera out of her bag, but the flash went off before she understood that she was taking a picture.

Sasuke jumps slightly at the flash and is pulled from his brooding thoughts, shooting her a puzzled glare.

“Sorry, that was kind of weird of me. I just – I just thought you-you looked erm... nice in the moonlight?”

A bewildered look flashes across Sasuke’s face before a small smile begins to form and he laughs! He actually, genuinely laughs while shaking his head in what appears to be disbelief.

The only thing Hinata can do is smile sheepishly distracted by how handsome he looks when he lets go of his composure, the light in his eyes makes him look younger, like the Sasuke she knew all those years ago.

Hinata wonders if any of his friends get to see him like this.

He looks down at the pavement, shoulders still shaking, smile still present and pinches the bridge of his nose while taking in a slow breath and on his exhale, he reaches into his pocket, pulls out his phone, unlocks it, hands it over and says, “give me your number.”

Hinata tentatively obliges, pulling open the add new contact page, filling in the blanks then handing it back. Sasuke starts typing something in his phone and asks. “Do you work Sunday?”

“Uhm, yes?”

Hinata’s phone buzzes, when retrieving it from her bag she sees a text from an unknown number.

>> I’m going to come by after your shift and I'm taking you out. Don’t even bother using your mouth to respond.

Hinata feels her fingers tingling and tries to open her mouth to speak, closes it, bites her lip to try and stifle her giggles and resists the urge to slap herself in the face for acting like a complete airhead.

She pushes her fears aside one more time tonight...

And takes the damn dive.

<< Okay <3

__________________________

AN2: Wow, okay. A month later and I have the second part to this little story. This is the first time that I’m posting something I didn’t just throw together in one sitting. I’ve also never posted anything that was longer than 1200 words and it’s unexpectedly a little nerve-wracking??? OKAY SO, I guess there’s going to be one last chapter and it’s going to be like 90% SasuHina interactions? And spoiler alert they’re finally going to make-out. I have this SasuHina headcannon where they’re both private people who generally keep to themselves -- so people think they’re a boring couple, but when they’re alone together it’s like they’re in their own little world, and that’s the dynamic I’m looking forward to exploring in the final part. I’m not sure when it’s going to be up since I have a bunch of other stuff I need to work on so it depends on how the inspo hits me, but I do have plenty of fun ideas!

#sasuhina #sasuhina oneshot #sasuhina fanfic #sasuhinafanfiction #hinata #sasuke #naruto #mystuff #Hinata hyuuga #hinata fanfic

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thegeekyblondegirlwholovesstars · 4 years

Text

Coming Home Part Four

Warnings: This part will only go as far as the show does but there will be mentions of the trauma and sexual assault from episode three and descriptions of wounds.

Hey guys! There are a lot of new people reading this series and I couldn’t be more grateful! I really hope everyone is enjoying it so far, I had a big brainstorming session today and oh boy I’m really hoping that you all will like where I’m going with the story. With that being said, enjoy part four and let me know if you want to be added to the tag list:)

JJ x Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Kie looked back and forth between you and JJ and raised her voice excitedly. “Wait, is this the y/n.” JJ nodded in response, not taking his eyes off of you as he waited for your answer.

You knelt there in the sand mouth agape with tears still streaming down your face. The wind whipped your hair in front of your face, forcing you to bring your hand up and push it out of the way. As you moved your hair your blinked hard, wondering if this was all a dream. The searing pain from the cuts on your back and the bruises on your wrist told you otherwise. When you opened your eyes again you saw him standing there, you could not believe it. There he was, after all these years, JJ. He hadn’t changed or at least not to you. Yes his voice was deeper and he was significantly taller and stronger than the last time you saw him but something in your heart told you he was still the same JJ that you grew up with. In this moment of pure shock and confusion this feeling brought you the comfort you desperately needed and provided you enough strength to nod and weakly respond, “JJ”.

“Bug! I can’t believe its you.” JJ came running towards where you and Kie were kneeling in the sand. He opened his arms to embrace you but Kie held out her arm in front of you and gestured for JJ to look at your back.

JJ’s eyes grew wide and his jaw tensed as he took in the image of your blood soaked shirt. He pointed at your back and looked between you and Kie.

“Rafe did that?”

You looked up at him with tears in your eyes and nodded while barely managing to hold back a sob. He crouched down so that he was at eye level with you. JJ looked you dead in the eyes, his jaw was still tense but his eyes were compassionate and slightly worried. “Y/n, you’re safe now. I swear to god I am never going to let anything like this happen to you again.”

At the sight of his unchanged baby blue eyes you became slightly less on edge and were able to breathe somewhat normally for the first time since Rafe had pulled you down off the lifeguard chair. Moving for the first time since before he called your name you threw your arms around him and whispered in his ear, “I thought I’d never see you again.”

When you pulled away from the hug you could still see the worry in JJ’s eyes due to your still bleeding back and various bruises but he grinned and uttered, “Well here I am, live and in the flesh.”

Only JJ could make you giggle when things got dark. This moment proved that.

“Y/n, we really need to get you to the Chateau and clean you up. I’m really worried about your back, that does not look good.” said Kie softly as she stood up, taking the gold and string bracelets you held in your hand.

You tried to get up but they both stopped you.

“Easy there tiger.” said JJ as he pocketed the leather and sea glass bracelet before pulling you to your feet, bearing most of your weight. You put one arm on each of their shoulders as they walked you towards the parking lot in front of the boneyard. Once they had shifted you down onto a rock Kie ran back to the beach returning moments later with John B, Pope, and Sarah.

“Oh my god, y/n! What the hell happened?” Sarah gasped running towards where you were sitting.

Before you could open your mouth JJ answered. “Rafe happened.” Out of the corner of your eyes you saw him clench his fist, he was clearly furious.

“My fucking brother did this to you??” Sarah repeated lowering herself and taking your hands. “I’m so sorry. Oh my god when Ward hears about this Rafe is done for.”

You shook your head eyes lit up with fear as you began to shake and whimpered “Don’t tell him. Don’t tell him. Please don’t tell him.”

The Pogues all shot you a concerned and confused look.

“I don’t want him to get mad again.” “I don’t want him to come after me again.” “I don’t want him to come after you guys.” you cried, licking the salty tears that were now once again streaming down your face.

Sarah nodded, followed by JJ and Kie.

“Your secret is safe with me, until your ready to talk about it. I promise.” Sarah smiled comfortingly.

“We’ll be here when you’re ready.” said Kie stepping forward and putting a hand on Sarah’s shoulder.

“And we will be here to protect you.” said JJ as he motioned over at Pope and John B.

You hadn’t even noticed them. They stood a few feet away, shell-shocked and trying to take in the scene before them. They couldn’t believe what they were seeing, or hearing. The two boys just stared at you, the gears in their brains turning as they tried to convince themselves that you were really in front of them again. Looking at them caused you to laugh out of nowhere.

“The two of you look like your heads are about to explode.” you laughed.

JJ, Kie, and Sarah were taken aback by the suddenness of your movement but once they turned to look at John B and Pope they joined in your laughter.

John B closed his mouth and muttered to Pope, “Yep that’s her.” and the two boys walked over to where you were sitting.

John B still clearly hadn’t processed what had happened nor heard what JJ and Sarah had said because once he reached you he pulled you into an enormous bear hug, causing you to yelp in pain.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry.” John B apologized as he looked down at his arms which now had a coating of your blood on them. He stumbled backward into Sarah and nearly taking the both of them out.

“Before you ask. I’ll explain what I can when we get back to the Chateau. But we really need to get y/n somewhere safe, and get her cleaned up.”

Everyone nodded in response to Kie’s statement, John B unlocked the van and hopped in the drivers side while JJ and Pope helped you into the back seat.

You had to sit forward to avoid bleeding on the seats. JJ sat on your right and rubbed your arm to comfort you. You were still shaking as the events of that night set in. He took out the bracelet from his pocked and whispered.

“I believe this is yours.”

“Well actually its yours. It’s your good luck charm. Besides, I don’t think I’ll be wearing bracelets for a while”, you help up your wrists to reveal a series of scratches and bruises from Rafe trying to pull the bracelets off of you.

“It’s ours.” JJ said putting it on his wrist. “For safe keeping, until you’re all healed up. What about the others?” he asked looking at you.

“I’ll put them in my nightstand until I’m healed up.” you pocketed the rest of them and took JJ’s hand.

“I never took it off you know. I promised myself that I wouldn’t take it off and I’d never break a promise, especially not one that involves you.”

“Not once? Like not even to shower or for a dance or whatever?”

“Not once.” you smiled looking into his eyes.

“Well then, now it’s my promise to keep you safe.” He ran his finger over the familiar beads of sea glass.

The van came to a halt and John B said “Home sweet home!”

The Chateau looked exactly as you remembered it. A flood of happy childhood memories came racing back and you couldn’t help but smile. Sarah opened the door of the van, Pope and Kie piled out, JJ helped you towards the door and out onto the yard. You took a deep breath, finding solace in the familiar sight.

“John B is Big John home!?”

He stopped on the porch and turned around looking at you with large sad eyes, he shook his head and said, “We have a lot to catch up on after you’re cleaned up.”

Kie took you into the bathroom while Sarah retrieved some extra pjs she had in John B’s room.

“Luckily were the same size, I’ll take your clothes home and wash them.” Sarah closed the bathroom door behind her. “You can tell your aunt and uncle that you and I stayed the night at Scarlet's and I’ll drop your clothes off later tomorrow and say that you forgot them.”

“Good idea.” you said as you tried to pull your shirt off over your head. You got it half way up your midriff before you winced in pain. Sarah and Kie had to help peel the shirt off of you the rest of the way. Kie gasped at your now exposed back. There were at least ten deep cuts and scrapes across your back from where you had hit the wall, they were all outlined in purple bruises, and your back was slick with a thin layer of blood.

Sarah teared up “I can’t believe he did this to you.”

“You know how kooks get when they’re drunk.” You leaned forward on the counter to allow Kie to unclasp your bra and clean off your back with a warm washcloth. Your face contorted as it dragged across your tender skin.

“Okay, this is not going to feel good but we need to flush the wounds with alcohol so they don’t get infected.” Kie spoke with a nervous tone, knowing how much pain this would cause you. “Ready?”

“Ready.” you assured her, Sarah grabbed your hand before Kie soaked the washcloth in rubbing alcohol and pressed it to your back. It caused an immediate burning sensation and you screamed in pain.

“Shh, she’s done.” Sarah soothed you.

From the living room the boys all shouted, “Everything alright in there?”

You shouted back hardly, “I’m good.”

“Y/n, you took that like a champ.” Kie said impressed.

“Did you not hear me scream?” you chuckled as the girls applied ointment and bandages to your back.

“Any of the boys would be crying.” Sarah stated handing you a loose t -shirt and sweats.

“Thank you” you smiled.

Once you changed and cleaned up the cuts on your wrist the three of you emerged.

The boys stood up. John B spoke first. “You okay Bug?”

“I’m okay” you assured him, taking a seat on the couch. JJ moved to the kitchen and grabbed you a glass of water an a PB and J sandwich.

“Here.”

You took the food and water while he sat next to you.

“Why do you guys keep calling her Bug?” Kie asked softly.

“It’s what my dad used to call her. And it just sort of stuck” John B answered.

“That’s what JJ and I knew her by when we first met her.” added Pope.

“I don’t think you guys called me by my real name for two days.”

“To be fair you never told us.” JJ remarked.

“You never asked.” You shot back wittingly.

“True.” They both nodded.

You placed the plate and the glass on the coffee table in front of you and leaned back into the couch. Finally, your body relaxed for the first time in hours. You turned your head toward John B.

“Where’s your dad?”

JJ gripped your hand as John B moved to sit across from you. They all launched into a story recounting the events of the past year.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry John B. That’s all so crazy guys.” You brought your hand up and ran it through your hair as your eyes filled with tears “And just when I thought I couldn’t lose anyone else.”

“What do you mean?” Pope asked shifting in his chair.

“My parents died in a car accident seven months ago.”

Everyone gasped.

“I’ve been back here for about a month now. My aunt and uncle are kooks, and they bought a house from Rose. Hence why I know Sarah and why I was...” you choked a little on your next few words “with Rafe.”

“Why didn’t you come find us when you got here?” JJ asked.

“I thought you guys wouldn’t want to see me, now that I’m technically a kook.”

“Pfft.” John B waved his hand at you. “Did you forget the tag line of the code?”

“Once a pogue, always a pogue.” Pope said smiling as he leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.

You blushed wondering how you could have forgot. “Of course I didn’t forget.” your voice cracked.

“You’re an awful liar y/n, always have been.” John B said smugly.

“Ouch, that one really hurt Bookie.” you said as you put your hand over your heart melodramatically.

Everyone laughed.

“Jesus it’s 3 a.m.” JJ gasped glancing at the clock.

“Shit my dad is going to have my head, I’m supposed to be working tomorrow.” Pope took his hat off his head and pressed his palms to his forehead. He moved towards the door.

“Tell Hayward I said hi!! I’ve missed him so much.”

“Will do, come by at 12 tomorrow that’s when I get off, I’m sure dad would love to see you.” Pope said halfway out the door. “Later guys!”

“Later.” you all chorused.

You carefully got up and went to the closet where the extra blankets and pillows were. You grabbed one and returned to the couch and laid down.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing.” JJ asked sarcastically.

“I’m going to crash on the couch I can’t exactly go home right now.”

“Oh no that’s not what I meant. After everything you’ve been through tonight you really think I’m going to let you sleep on the couch?”

“Uhhh...”

“You can have my bed for the night. I’ll take the couch.”

“No JJ you don’t have too.”

“Yeah yeah. Up.” He ignored you and pulled you to your feet, practically carrying you to his room.

“Goodnight guys!”

“Goodnight” Kie, Sarah, and John B beckoned.

JJ laid you down in his bed and tucked you in. You were so drained that you fell asleep almost immediately. JJ gave you a kiss on the forehead and whispered, “Goodnight Bug, see you in the mornin sun.”

“Mmm. G’night J, see you in the sun.” With that you drifted into a deep sleep.

JJ turned off the light and glanced back at you before closing the door. He smiled at how peaceful you looked. He felt the butterflies that he had for you when he was twelve come back to life as he closed the door and snuggled up on the couch and fell asleep.

You woke up at 9:30 the next morning to the feeling of Kie and Sarah sinking onto the bed on either side of you. Sarah had a glass of water and some Advil and Kie had some toast and eggs on a plate for you. The boys were stood at the edge of the bed.

“Oh wow what good service” you yawned attempting to stretch set your back on fire. Seeing your face contort, Sarah reached out and handed the water and Advil to you, you took it gladly. After you carefully sat up Kie handed you your breakfast and smiled.

“Thank you guys, for everything.” “I’m so glad to be back here and to have you guys again, you have no idea.”

“We feel the same” John B said. “And that is why we plan to dedicate today to catching these to lovely ladies up to all the things we used to do, and all of our favorite places.”

“Oh!?”

JJ straightened himself upright and pointed his finger at the sky and said in an awful accent, “Today, we’re going on an adventure!”

“I can’t wait!” you clapped at their elaborate presentation of the days plans. “I have to go home first though, I’m sure my aunt and uncle are freaking out.”

“How are you going to explain this to them?” Kie gestured at your body, “Not to be rude but you kinda look bent out of shape, understandably so. What happened last night was awful.”

“Yeah umm...I don’t know how I’m going to explain this.”

“You could say you fell out of the lifeguard chair?” John B suggested. “They wouldn’t suspect too much, I mean you’re a bit of a klutz after all.”

“That’s actually a pretty good idea.” you nodded. “Can one of you drive me to the end of my street? I’m going to have to walk up my street since Rafe drove me and my aunt and uncle don’t know you guys yet.”

Kie responded immediately, “I’ll drop you off, I have to head that way before I go to work.”

“Sounds good.”

“Are you going to be able to walk?” Sarah and JJ asked together.

“Yeah I’ll be fine.” you answered them unconvincingly.

“Okay well its settled.” John B said with a clap before rubbing his hands together. “We’ll pick you up at around noon, stop by Hayward’s so you can say hi, grab Pope, and then we’ll be off.”

“Okie dokie.”

“Let’s get going y/n, I’m sure your aunt and uncle are worried sick.” Sarah stood and helped you out of bed.

As soon as you opened the door to your house you were met with your aunt’s embrace. She yelled to your uncle, Bill don’t call Ward she’s home. You breathed a sigh of relief.

“We’ve been worried out of our minds, why didn’t you text us and let us know you weren’t coming home? Please tell me you didn’t.. you know, with Rafe? Oh my god what happened to you!!??”

“I’m sorry Auntie, my phone died I would have texted if I could. I spent the night at Scarlet’s with Sarah after the party. And god no. I fell out of the lifeguard chair last night, my foot slipped as I was trying to get down. I scraped my back up pretty badly but I’m okay Sarah patched me up.” you lied through your teeth and smiled at your loving aunt.

“Okay good. I’m glad you’re alright.” “Lets get you a shower.”

You moved upstairs and while you were in the shower your aunt laid out your favorite sundress on your bed and she also took out your much loved white converse. She sat on your bed waiting for you so she could help re bandage the scrapes on your back.

“Are you sure you’re okay sweetheart?”

“Yes I’m sure auntie.” “I’m a tough cookie.” you giggled.

“All done!” “Do you need any Advil or heat or something for your back?”

“No Scarlet gave me some before I left.”

“Okay I’ll let you get dressed. I’m downstairs if you need anything.”

“Thank you auntie.” you turned and smiled at her. “See you in a bit.”

By now you were used to the soreness, and the Advil had definitely helped. The events of last night hadn’t really sunk in just yet and you tried your best to focus on the wonderful day you were about to have. Glancing in the mirror for the first time since last night you realized you really did look worse for wear. Their was a light bruise on your face from where Rafe had slapped you in addition to the bruises on your leg and wrists. You didn’t even want to know what your back looked like. Yet for the first time in a long time you felt like yourself. Now that you had the Pogues back in your life you felt like you could conquer the world. You huffed a piece of your long wavy hair out of your face before heading downstairs to meet your aunt and uncle.

“Hey do you mind if I go out with Sarah later?”

“No of course not, as long as your safe.” your uncle responded.

Ding dong! The doorbell rang.

“I got it!”

You opened the door and your heart sank. Standing opposite you was none other than Rafe Cameron.

I know this was a long one and I hope you all liked it. If anyone ever needs anything, wants to give me feedback, or just wants to chat please message me! Lets be friends:))

@tangledinsparkles @hopelesswritingxd @im-a-stranger-thing @jenahbell @annedub @hmspxgue @harrysbbby

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justkending · 4 years

Text

You said you weren’t contagious. (Drabble)

Summary: A cold is the same as the plague when it’s really bad, right?

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 1300+

A/N: I literally was just thinking of single lines that could make a one -shot or drabble, and this was the one that came to mind. I am currently working on chapter 16 for 10YT so hopefully I’ll have it up tomorrow! Sorry to keep you all waiting, but I was needing guidance on where to take the story. Enjoy this little distraction for now;)

“ACHOO!” Dean let out a loud and disgustingly sick sneeze.

“God Dean! Freaking cover your mouth!” You shouted from the map room as you walked into the library where Dean was bundled up in multiple flannels and a reddened nose from all the tissues he had used. “How bad has it gotten?” you asked with a disgusted look taking a careful step forward.

“It’s not bad. I think I’m at the end of it though,” he responded as he sniffled, not convincing anyone.

“Yeah. Sureeeeee,” you dragged out keeping a far distance being extra about it as you inched on the wall on the opposite side of the table.

“Stop being dramatic, Y/N,” he groaned only to make him cough again. “It’s just a cold.”

“Yeah, it sounds a lot worse than that. I think you have the flu.” You scrunched your nose as he shivered and bundled more into his clothes.

“Nah. It would be a lot worse,” he shook his head.

“Oh, honey. I think you’ve hit worse,” you said with a uneasy smile.

“Stop looking at me like I’m going to kill you by just breathing your direction!” he groaned, eyeing you.

“Well, until you look like you won’t kill me with a single sniffle, I’m keeping my distance,” you shook your head, moving quickly to the kitchen and into any other room without him.

But you didn’t hear his protest or the chair scoot back as you made your escape.

You were craving something salty when you got in the kitchen, but decided to make a cup of coffee while you figured out what exactly you wanted.

You heard shuffling behind you, figuring it was Sam back from his run, but nope. A now blanket wrapped Dean was slowly making his way in.

“Dean! Go to your room! No one else should have to suffer from the plague just cause you are,” you chided, moving away now noticing he was coming to you with an evil grin.

“Oh, come on sweetheart! You always take care of me when I’m sick, what’s the difference now?” he said, opening his arms and walking to you faster.

“Oh no, no. Not today Lucifer,” you replied, moving behind the island making sure he was keeping a distance where he was on the other side of the metal table. “You need to be quarantined. A simple cold or allergies I can handle. Hell, even the stomach bug, but this?” you pointed up and down to him. “This is not something I want to get mixed up in. You’ve been ‘breaking fever’ for the past two days.”

“It’s not contagious Y/N. Come on. I really need a hug right now,” he said with a pouty face, moving for you again. “Please Y/N/N, just one.”

“Dean, I love you, I do, but I’m not letting a cold or flu, whatever it is, be the thing that kills me in this life. I would rather a vamp or a demon,” you said, moving away again. It was like a game of cat and mouse.

“Please sweetheart! It’s not contagious!” he said again not convincing anyone as he went into a fit of coughs.

“Oh yeah. I believe you. You’re really selling it,” you rolled your eyes as his coughing went on. It looked like he was choking at one point with how hard and nonstop he went on. “Dean?” you questioned his name, growing worried.

He motioned for water and you went to the fridge grabbing a bottle before walking to him.

“Hey, you ok? Try to breath,” you said hesitantly patting his back as he hunched over and stuck his hand out. You handed him the water, but just as you did he grabbed your hand instead and twirled you to where you were enclosed in the blanket with him and both of his arms were around your torso keeping you close to him. “Dean! You bastard!”

“I knew you couldn’t resist helping me. You wouldn’t give me a hug so I had to take the extra measure,” he said with a congested voice, proud his fake coughing plan worked. But that doesn’t mean you made it easy for him. You wiggled and elbowed to get out of his arms.

“Dean, let me go! I don’t want to get sick!”

“You won’t! Just give me a damn hug!” he said holding tighter.

“Dean!”

You both stayed like that yelling back and forth while you struggled to attempt to get out of his hold. He was still strong for a sick man. You screamed for him to let you go, and he just squeezed tighter not relenting in giving up on your hug.

Eventually you slid out from underneath and pulled back.

“I’m going to kill you,” you groaned, moving your staticky hair out of the way now.

“Worth it,” he smirked going to the pantry for a can of soup.

“Ugh!” you shouted moving back to the hallways and to your room. If he wasn’t going to quarantine himself, then you were holding yourself up in your room.

____

Two days later, Dean was coming to the end of his death plague. He was still sniffling here and there, and would every so often have coughing fits, but nothing close compared to before.

You however were trying to push your slight symptoms away as allergies, even though you knew the truth.

Dean heard three loud but weak knocks come from his door and he looked up from the show he was watching while a book sat in his lap unread.

“Yeah?” he questioned.

The knob twisted and the door opened revealing you wrapped in a thick blanket, sweats, what looked like two different pairs of fuzzy socks, and an old Stanford sweatshirt you stole from Sam.

“You said you weren’t contagious,” you moaned in almost a growl, but it didn’t come off as intimidating since you sneezed like a mouse twice into your blanket.

“Now that’s just too cute,” Dean chuckled.

“I’m not cute! I’m sick, jackass!” you shouted with a scratchy voice. “Thanks to you.”

Dean laughed moving the books off his bed and clearing the space before motioning to you.

“Lucky for you I’m not scared of it. Let me guess. You feel icky and irritable, so you want a hug?” he asked playing off of his own experience.

You thought about it. You had just come in here to yell at him for passing on this sickness, but now that you thought about it. Yeah. You couldn’t seem to get comfortable and a hug sounded really good now.

You rolled your eyes when he opened his arms and patted the empty space on the bed next to him. He began chuckling once you shuffled over and crawled into the nook.

You nudged his arm getting comfortable and he engulfed you as best he could from the angle you two were at. Eventually, his arms were wrapped over you and you were leaning into his side still snuggled into the blanket. You couldn’t seem to get warm until now.

“I’m not happy with you,” you muttered. “This is the actual worst.”

“Yeah. I know,” he agreed, leaning his head on yours as you both watched the movie he had playing. “I can make you some soup or something if you want,” he mumbled after a while.

When you didn’t answer, he turned to look down at you and saw that you had passed out in seconds. You hadn’t been able to sleep or settle very well because of the illness, but as soon as you were enveloped in his arms, it only took seconds before peace overcame you.

Dean let out a soft chuckle before moving to a more comfortable position which moved you to lay your head on his lap when the rest of your body was on its side. He moved his fingers through your hair and watched as you slept soundly. Nose wrinkling every so often as you tried to breath through it.

“Night sweetheart,” he said still playing with your hair, relishing in the fact he could take care of you now.

Supernatural Tags:

@flamencodiva @hobby27 @sucker-for-dean @deans-baby-momma @squirrelgirl67 @death-unbecomes-you @snffbeebee @larpandtherealgirl @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @spnbaby-67 @akshi8278 @musiclovinchic93 @vicmc624 @carryon-doctor-lock @perpetualabsurdity @herscrunchiehairtie @spnwoman @shamelesslydean @monkeymcpoopoo @winchestergirl82 @luciathewinchestergirl @deansyahtzee @thatgirl1456 @sucker-for-dean @atomicloverdonkeyperson @screechingartisancashbailiff

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravic @traceyaudette @kakakatey @notyourtypicalrose @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @snffbeebee @thefaithfulwriter @marvelfansworld @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @naomi02hook @xostephanie @schwankyblock @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022@jjlevin @rainbowkisses31@carls1022 @jjlevin

#supernatural #supernatural drabble #SPN #SPN drabble #spn reader insert #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #justkending #drabble #dean winchester drabble #dean winchester one shot

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sass-and-suspenders · 4 years

Text

His Heart (Part 2)

GIF from plutoandpersephone

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader

Words: 1,347

Prompt: Part 2 of the story based on the song Straight Through My Heart for @thefanficfaerie‘s Backstreet Boys Challenge. You can find Part One here

Author’s Note: Shout-out to @madpanda75 who listened to me moan about my writer’s block and then somehow resisted the urge to smack me when I started complaining about the stuff I did write. You’re the best

Since leaving Rafael on the courthouse steps, your conversation with him played in your mind on an endless loop. It consumed your thoughts, worming its way into the places normally reserved for 90s boy band lyrics. The night passed frustratingly slow with sleep eluding you, leaving your mind free to ruminate over what had been said and, perhaps more importantly, not said. The various tricks you tried to fall asleep were useless -no amount of imaginary sheep, warm milk, or calming whale sounds could quiet your mind. You eventually resigned yourself to your fate, letting your thoughts wander down a rabbit hole until the first light of dawn shone through your curtains. Instead of insight, the only thing you managed to gain were dark circles under your eyes.

As you made your way to One Hogan Place, you were surprised no one mistook you for a member of the walking dead. Yawning, you unlocked your office door and stared longingly at your couch. With back-to-back court sessions today, you would barely have enough time to eat, let alone take a nap. The silver lining, at least, was that being in court all day provided the perfect excuse to avoid Rafael. The last thing you wanted was to run into him and be forced to awkwardly tiptoe around last night’s conversation.

But if there was one thing you should have known by now it’s that you don’t always get what you want.

Reluctantly detaching your gaze from your couch, you found Rafael in your doorway. Standing there, in a freshly pressed suit with bright eyes and perfectly styled hair, he smiled at you. The small part of you that wondered whether Rafael’s thoughts had also been consumed by yesterday now had an answer: he didn’t look like he had lost any sleep. In fact, you were almost annoyed at how well-rested he looked. Before you could tell him that this wasn’t a good time, you noticed the extra cup of coffee in his hands.

“Good morning,” he greeted cheerfully, stepping into your office and offering you one of the mugs.

You eyed him suspiciously. Rafael was not a morning person and definitely not someone who shared coffee. However, your desperate need for caffeine outweighed any reservations you had about his cheerful demeanour.

“Morning,” you replied warily, accepting the mug.

Just as you were about to take a large swig of coffee, the faint smell of cinnamon wafted up from your cup, momentarily stunning you. You always put a dash of cinnamon in your coffee, but never thought Rafael would have noticed your little habit.

“I didn’t poison it,” Rafael remarked, mistaking your surprise for hesitation.

“It would be too easy to trace back to you if you did and, frankly, I expect a more elaborate plan from you,” you retorted.

“Unless I used a poison the ME wouldn’t think to look for. Nightshade, for instance,” Rafael casually said before taking a drink from his mug.

“I hope you know that because of a seminar and not because you moonlight as an assassin to fund your expensive taste in suits.”

Rafael shrugged, a small smile forming on his lips. “I guess you’ll soon find out.”

You stared at him for a beat longer before taking a sip of coffee. A happy sigh escaped your lips as the hot liquid hit your tongue. Whatever your feelings about Rafael Barba that man knew good coffee.

Rafael’s heart fluttered when he heard your contented sigh. He experienced a similar feeling last night when you admitted you didn’t hate him. Rafael suspected you weren’t telling him the whole truth, but the only thing he could focus on was that you didn’t despise him. Your admission ignited a spark of hope in him. Standing on the steps, long after your retreating figure had disappeared, Rafael began to fan that spark. Accidentally stealing your coffee was fixable. In fact, it had a very simple solution. And so, alone on the steps, Rafael made a silent promise to whatever deity was listening that he would bring you coffee every day if it could fix the damage he had inadvertently caused.

And if this plan gave him an excuse to see you every morning, well, then all the better.

“I feel fine…for now. Thanks for the coffee,” you told him while attempting to stifle a yawn.

“Seems like you needed the extra hit of caffeine today,” Rafael commented as he made himself comfortable on your couch.

“Just stayed up late working,” you replied vaguely, tracing the rim of your mug with your index finger.

You narrowed your eyes at Rafael as he rested his feet on your coffee table.

Rafael’s brow furrowed as he noticed the dark circles under your eyes. “Did you sleep at all?”

“Unlike you, Barba, some people don’t need beauty sleep because they’re already beautiful,” you responded, leaning against the front of your desk.

“Too bad you’re not one of those people,” he smirked. “I thought Manhattan was in the middle of a zombie outbreak.”

“Well, the joke’s on you because if we were in the midst of a zombie epidemic, I’d successfully blend in with the zombies and survive. You, on the other hand, with your colourful tie and socks,” you paused, gesturing to the turquoise tie and matching socks he was wearing. “Would be one of the first to get eaten.”

Rafael tilted his head in mock thoughtfulness. “Hm, well, I am a snack.”

“Ah, that must be why you’re so salty.”

“But you admit that I’m a snack?” Rafael raised an eyebrow.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re an acquired taste, that’s for sure,” you muttered.

It didn’t escape Rafael’s notice that you didn’t deny it, and he felt the spark of hope grow a little stronger.

“Anyway,” you continued, moving behind your desk. “Some of us actually have work to do.”

“You’re right. I do have work to do,” Rafael grinned, getting up from your couch.

You frowned in annoyance, amazed that someone could get under your skin as much as Rafael Barba.

He was almost out the door when you called to him.

“Oh, and Barba? I may be sleep-deprived, but I still noticed the mug you gave me.” You met his eyes for a brief second, gracing him with a small smile, before turning your attention back to a file. The mug in question, Rafael’s old Harvard mug, was already half empty and sitting atop one of the giant stacks of paperwork covering your desk.

Rafael laughed, confirming your suspicion that it wasn’t a coincidence. What you didn’t know, however, was that he had brought the mug from home especially for you in the hope that it would make you smile.

With your attention focused back on witness testimonies and police reports, Rafael took the opportunity to steal one last glance at you before he left.

The rest of Rafael’s day passed uneventfully; his hours were spent in a monotonous blur of drafting motions, reading testimonies, and dull meetings. Despite the minor frustrations he encountered throughout the day, a smile lingered on his lips.

Arriving back at One Hogan Place after a late meeting with the squad, Rafael was disappointed to discover that your office was dark. No doubt you were at home catching up on some much-needed sleep. As he walked to his office, his thoughts wandered to you in bed and what it would be like to be there with you. He could picture you wrapped in his arms and wearing one of his shirts. Outside the door to his office, Rafael shook his head to cast off the fantasy.

However, his thoughts quickly made their way back to you when he saw his Harvard mug sitting in the middle of his desk. You had washed the mug and placed a bright blue sticky note on it.

Thanks for not poisoning me

Rafael noticed a second note peeking out from underneath the first.

This time at least

He laughed quietly to himself, slipping the two notes into his briefcase, before heading back to his empty apartment.

#rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #barba x reader #rafael barba #law & order svu #svu #backstreetsbackchallenge

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philocake · 4 years

Text

Yep, you guessed it, more HTTYD Homecoming salt

I am feeling extra salty today after rewatching the thing and reading the comment sections of the clips shown on Youtube. Today, I’m going to complain about worldbuilding. And some other stuff, cause every second of this short is wrong.

Alright, let me remind myself how rushed this thing is before I get into tearing it apart. It’s not even funny. All the dialogue feels forced and out of character like half of the time, and the pacing is just really strange. Yes, yes, it’s a short, it has lower budget, blah, blah, blah... Not a valid excuse. One, they made the same mistake they made in HTTYD3: too much plot for too little screentime. Two, Gift of the Night Fury had several things to say and yet the pacing was not awkward at all. It really felt like part of the first movie instead of something with less budget thrown into it.

Gift of the Night Fury was nice and heartwarming, and every single character and all they said and did stayed true to the film’s canon. They actually show us how the characters have been doing and give us a little bit of development, and every funny and cute moment is perfectly balanced. Homecoming has none of that. It tries to be charming and its attempts come across as desperate and weird, and man, don’t get me started on how much they clung to comedy - yet again, same mistake with HTTYD3. The jokes and funny comments are just so out of character, so unnecessary, so sudden, so repetitive and so half-hearted that I can’t even force a smile and give the writers any pity for trying.

I’m sorry, but the “and then it hit me” joke was only funny the first time. When a 20 minute short starts milking jokes, you know they have no idea what they’re doing and just want to make you laugh so you can ignore their fatal flaws.

Anyway, let me talk about character development and worldbuilding, because man Homecoming completely smashed these two very important concepts that Gift of the Night Fury treated with impeccable respect.

The characters have been destroyed. The whole play thing was a mess and no one should’ve acted they way they did. Why is Hiccup okay with that disaster? He’s the chief, he should have a little more saying in what they do and don’t do. Yes, he’s Hiccup, he’s gonna be goofy and all... but being goofy does not equal to being a helpless idiot. Actually, HTTYD3 and Homecoming both seem to have deemed it a good idea to turn perfectly good, stable characters into idiots for the sake of comedy. Take Tuffnut, for example. Yes, we all know the twins. We all know how they are. We also know that Tuffnut is not that big of a moron. And omfg, don’t even get me started on Gobber. I’ve always liked his character, but in Homecoming... I don’t even have the words. He’s awful. He’s annoying. He’s stupid. He’s not Gobber. I didn’t think you could destroy a character this badly after HTTYD3, but here we are. I don’t even want to talk more about what he does in detail because it pisses me off so much. That person is just not Gobber. Nothing else to say.

Speaking of characters... Where the absolute hell is Valka. They destroyed her enough in HTTYD3 (physically, too) and now they just throw her out of the picture and offer no explanations? Not a single mention? The yak-nog got a cameo and she didn’t? Fantastic! I want to think she did the most sensible thing and ran off to live with the dragons, somehow. Would be better than the freakshow Berk is. I would do the same if I lived surrounded by 1-dimensional morons, Val.

More problems on Berk, let’s see... Why don’t the kids know about Stoick and are allowed to trash his statue without being called out? Shouldn’t he be talked about like he’s the stuff of legends (which he is) to every kid? Hiccup was told countless stories about him when he was little. Yes, he’s his son, but that shouldn’t give only him the privilege of listening to stories. And speaking of telling kids things, why have Hiccup and Astrid not told their kids about the dragons sooner? You’d think these two, of all people, would be so excited to educate their little ones about the marvels of those creatures. They look like they’re at least 6+ both, they should have already known about Berk’s history with dragons. But of course, Homecoming couldn’t afford that. Gotta have some sort of plot going on!

Now, to the Hidden World... I’ll be honest with you, I found that scene with Toothless drawing Hiccup to be absolutely depressing. Not because he’s longing his best friend (which he shouldn’t, because the damn director stated he forgot about him), but because he should feel miserable trapped in that place. He and his kids should feel miserable. For one, the Light Fury is literally a controlling ass. Did you see how offended she looked when Toothless dared to remember his past life with the human that changed his life? Oh, how dare he! His life must only be centered around her and her numb skull! After all, she’s this random dragon he fell in love with in 3 seconds! Gotta love how she acted all bitchy until he was forced to comfort her. My headcanon is that she’s literally controlling him with pheromones. The real Toothless is too smart to stay with such a plain, useless, unaccepting dragon for the rest of his life.

As for his kids, yes I did say they should be unhappy. The only thing they can do is wrestle each other and play with whatever those floating orb thingies are supposed to be. Wow, how fun... They’re little baby dragons, trying to enjoy their early years of life! In the outside world, they would have been able to see the sky, interact with the environment, discover all the animals that surround them, travel back and forth with their parents... but they’re stuck on that pretty cage, bored out of their lives. The Hidden World is literally captivity.

Look at it, this poor thing is so miserable... No wonder it was so desperate to look for adventures, so much that even a drawing of a creature it has never seen gave it the magical abilities to find New Berk.

Which brings me to another point, how did the Night Lights find New Berk? How did they know they were supposeed to find something outside the Hidden World only via a drawing? And how were they able to fly for so long? And how did Toothless and the Light Fury know exactly where to find them? Also, earlier on, why did the Light Fury even light up that glowing rock thingie when they were in the Hidden World? She’s that awful, controlling of a dragon that she can’t even let her kids sleep in peace. And she huffed out green fire? What is happening?

The plot of Homecoming is just forced, and it’s really stinkin’ obvious this thing was done for money and nothing more. You’ve got cute little Toothless babies (I find the Night Lights to be rather hideous, but that’s just me) and you’ve got cute little Hiccstrid kids. Obviously you want to make money off of that, because more than half the fandom won’t give a shit if they make sense or not.

These people just went right ahead and trashed the third movie’s canon to make this cashgrab. Let’s ignore the fact that the director explicitly stated that Toothless had forgotten about Hiccup for a second and focus on what happens on the short. Toothless immediately recognizes Hiccup while he’s in a suit just by his scent and voice, but in the third movie he just has to wait till the hand trick comes up to recgonize him. Toothless was also totally cool with people, and that smug look he gave his family after letting Gobber touch him just proves he was there to make them see how great humans are. And yet he acts like he will murder a few unarmed humans that came slightly close to his home, with no way in? Suuuure.

Actually, let me vent a little here about what I said earlier - HTTYD3 and Homecoming both just destroyed the hand touch thing and I will never forgive them for that. It was supposed to be a unique moment, a special and unforgettable action that started it all, but now they’ve gotta milk it for the feels. The reverse hand touch in HTTYD3 was so forced I actually sighed, and then they just kept forcing it throughout. Shame on y’all.

I could go on for days tearing this thing apart... but I don’t want to give this thing more of my time than it deserves.

#httyd #httyd 3 #httyd homecoming #httyd criticism #the hidden world #homecoming spoilers

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adozentothedawn · 4 years

Note

7, 14, 15, 20, 27, 58, 60, 61? For the video game asks.

Hui, a lot! Thanks!^^

7. Any games you have multiple copies of?

I have multiple copies of one of the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games, one of which I gifted one of my sisters. While of course that was because I thought it would make her happy, I did have the hidden scheme of getting her to help me through a dungeon if I got stuck again. I’m not sure my scheme ever payed off though.

I’m not sure this counts, but I technically also have Twilight Princess twice, because I have the original for the Wii and the HD version for the WiiU. It’s not completely indentical, but I think it counts.

14. Favorite game music?

I’ll have to out myself here, I don’t really listen to game music. By which I mean I usually turn off the sound and have a movie or video run on the side. I’m aware that makes me a terrible heathen. The one game I kinda stopped doing that is Deadfire, because there’s just so much voiced dialogue that it seems pointless to turn on the video for like 20 seconds only to turn it off again when someone speaks.

That said, I do really like the music from Twilight Princess. That game I’ve played so often that I actually know the music too.

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?

I’m actually seriously debating on getting a small tattoo of the Eothas symbol over my ankle. I probably won’t do it for a while but maybe later...

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?

Not Pillars anyway, because I’ve played the same story like thrice now, because I am a chicken and afraid of hurting the NPCs’ feeling, so I only play the nice route.

I do however know Twilight Princess very well, because it caters to my need of angst, fluff, breaking pots and just playing a good game. I like it a lot. It was also the very first Zelda game I played and the second Zelda game I ever saw (the first being Wind Waker). I’m talking a lot about Twilight Princess today. I think my nostalgia wants me to play it again.

27. Game that makes you rage?

I’ve raged less at games as a whole and more aspects of them. Namely when I try to fight something big. Trying my hand at those extra bosses in Deadfire was not a good idea. What also makes me angry is when I lose my save. I once lost 30 hours of gameplay in Bravely Second when I misclicked and deleted my main file. I was very upset about that. That wasn’t the game’s fault though, it’s a good game and I definitely recommend it. Aside from that fuck up I had a lot of fun with it. It did certainly cause me a slight heart attack at the end though...

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?

That’s a hard one. I’ll go for Pillars, Twilight Princess (because of course), and the Kingdom Hearts Ultimate Edition of every game that I’m sure Nomura will release at some point because he just likes money too much. Unfortunately I also like his games too much. (Why am I so salty today? Probably because I’m tired and should go to bed.)

60. Do you know the Konami Code?

I had to look it up because I wasn’t sure anymore if it is what I thought it was, but I do actually!

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?

*quickly hides every game I have ever owned behind my back with them spilling out everywhere over the floor because there’s too many of them* What games I don’t have games there are no games no games at all.

(I have all of them in reaching distance. Not that I use that often.)

#asks and tags #video games #I'm so tired #I need to go to sleep #but I also want to write #but I'm running out of language

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ericsonclan · 3 years

Text

A Visit to the Bakery

Summary: Minnie goes out to buy some bread and meets someone very special in the process.

Word Count: 2905

Read on A03:

Minnie rose with the dawn. It was how she had lived her entire life no matter the circumstances. Living on the street, she’d been sure to wake first each morning to go scouting for food and supplies for the other street rats. She would wake Sophie and they’d head out together, searching for whatever measly scraps they could to survive another day. When she and Sophie were taken by pirates and later on during her time with Lilly and the Delta pirates, Minnie had been expected to pull her weight each and every second of every day. There was never any rest, no time for reflection on the hell her life had become, no peace.

Now she awoke in her own bed, feeling the sun’s rays warm her face as she shuffled out from under her covers. She had a bed of her own for the first time in her life and a roof over her head. She even had her brother back by her side. Tenn was sleeping peacefully in his own bed, a calm smile on his face. She’d let him sleep a bit longer before waking him and asking if he’d like to go to the market with her. Minnie’s eyes drifted over to third bed in the room, now empty. She missed having Sophie around each and every day, but to know that she was living her life doing what brought her the most joy gave Minnie a deeper sense of happiness than she’d felt in the last several years.

Rising to make the morning tea, Minnie tucked her bedsheets back in place, moving around softly for fear of waking Tenn up. He had always been an extremely light sleeper. Minnie approached the cupboard in search of the kettle. One of the pans slid against another as she pulled them out, causing Tenn to stir in his sleep. His chin raised, revealing the beginning of the scar that ran from the base of his chin to the top of his cheekbone. It still haunted her that she’d giving him that mark, taking off a piece of his ear in the process. Tenn had told her countless times that it didn’t matter to him, that the scar had no effect on his own life or happiness, but it still served as a constant reminder of the person Minnie had let herself become.

It was strange living in this cottage, carrying out a peaceful existence by the sea, when their very benefactors were those she had hurt the most. Minnie wondered where they were now. They’d visited a few months ago, so it was probably nowhere nearby. Sophie was likely up by now as well, sketching the sunrise or helping with the morning chores. Minnie hoped the others were doing well too: Mitch, Violet, Willy. The last time she’d seen them, Willy had sprouted up to nearly her height. She’d wanted to say something to him about how much he’d grown, but she saw the fear in his eyes when he looked her way. As much as she might wish them well, Minnie understood why the other street rats no longer trusted her. She’d harmed them too much for things to ever be the way they used to be between them.

She still had her siblings though: Tenn in body and Sophie in spirit. Knowing her sister loved her despite all she had done gave Minnie hope whenever the despair and self-loathing became too much to bear. Taking a seat at the table, Minnie pulled her hurdy gurdy into her lap, playing a short tune as she waited for the water to come to a boil. Sophie had picked the instrument up for Minnie on a whim one day at the market. Minnie hadn’t know what to do with it at the time, but over the months her fingers had began to master the dexterity needed to pluck at its strings and direct the crank embedded in its side at the same time. The tune she played was soft, haunting. It was a ballad she’d heard long ago and had been trying to remember.

The whistle of the teapot went off, bright and cheery. Minnie set aside the hurdy gurdy, rushing to take the kettle off the heat to quiet it. Tenn was already stirring too much though; he was truly awake now. After a few moments he entered the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of one of his eyes.

“Morning,” His voice had grown deeper over the years as he’d grown, but his voice held the same comforting cadence it always had.

“Good morning. Sorry I woke you,” Minnie placed tea leaves to steep within the water then went searching through the cupboards for something suitable for breakfast. “We should have enough for today, but it’s looking like we’ll need to do another market run soon. Would you be interested in coming with me?” Minnie popped her head out of the cupboard to catch Tenn glancing wistfully out the window. “If you don’t, it’s fine,”

“Oh, I can go with you, Minnie” Tenn’s tone was sincere, but Minnie knew him too well to not recognize when he was hiding something.

“You already have other plans, don’t you?”

“It’s just… the sky is so clear today. Was hoping to finish that painting I set aside weeks ago. I haven’t seen that same hue in forever,”

“You should go for it then,” Minnie pulled some bread and cheese from the cupboard, cutting them into slices. “I know how much it’s been eating away at you not being able to finish it. Besides, we could use more pieces to sell anyway,” They did their selling on different days than their shopping. They’d head down in the next couple days to set up their stall and sell their crafts and wares.

“Thanks, Minnie. You always know just what I’m thinking,”

“That’s a big sister’s job, silly. Now let’s eat,”

---

After a pleasant breakfast Minnie bid Tenn farewell and headed out with the large wicker basket to restock their food. Walking down the path from their cottage, she could feel the sea breeze brush at her bangs. The smell was as salty and rich as ever. Despite all the horrors she’d suffered in her life on sea, Minnie still found herself fond of the smell. There was always the promise of something new in the air when living by the shore. She was glad they’d been able to find an isolated plot as well. Even in a quiet port town, Minnie often found the presence of so many strangers overwhelming. Years of bodily and emotional trauma had left her with a limited amount of energy each day. Most times Minnie fell short of what she wanted to accomplish each day because of the chronic fatigue. She preferred the peace and familiarity of her newfound home to the streets of Halverport, but the shopping needed to get done.

Walking familiar streets, Minnie followed her regular route to get everything that was needed. Most of the sellers were familiar with her now, but Minnie still noticed the stares of passerby as they caught sight of her scarred face. She couldn’t blame them. The burn marks were severe, far worse than you’d expect to see on a young woman attending the market. Minnie had accepted them long ago as an everlasting symbol of her betrayal. She’d earned them in the same fire that took most of Violet’s sight. It was only right for her to bear the weight of that guilt in physical form, not simply within. Still, the stares wore her down. They were the only reason Minnie occasionally considered growing her hair out to better hide those scars. Instead she kept her head low and focused on the task at hand.

She’d almost found everything she needed when Minnie found herself stuck on the last item on her list: bread. She’d planned to drop by the normal stall she frequented where the sweet old lady that ran it always slipped an extra roll or two into the basket for her and Tenn. However, the woman was nowhere to be seen today. Minnie hoped she was alright. She didn’t want to travel all the way back up to the cottage with no bread, so she’d have to venture further and find another seller. Swallowing a lump in her throat, Minnie made her way further into the village, hoping the search wouldn’t be long.

Luckily, she was able to spot a bakery only a few streets over from where she usually shopped. Minnie stepped inside hesitantly, hoping the prices wouldn’t be too high and she could at least get enough for her and Tenn until selling day rolled round again. The shop was quiet as she entered, likely having just opened given the early hour. Was there anyone in here at all? Where was the seller?

“Hello?” Minnie called, her throat feeling dry and her voice rather rough.

A girl immediately emerged from the back room, brushing flour off of her hands. She looked to be about Minnie’s age, with warm brown eyes and hair that was pulled to the side in a bun decorated by a single flower. Her face was still covered in flour, but she seemed unaware as she smiled at Minnie. “Well, look at you! A new face come to frequent my bakery! Don’t get a lot of those around here,”

“The woman I usually buy from wasn’t there and-” Minnie cut herself off. This girl didn’t need to hear the entire story, just her order. “I’ll take three loaves of bread please,”

“Alright, what kind? Rye? Wheat? Pumpernickel? Sourdough? Baguettes?” the girl prattled on for a minute before her face fell slightly, recognizing that she was overwhelming Minnie with the list. “Oops, I got ahead of myself, didn’t I? You probably just want some brown bread, am I right?”

Minnie nodded silently. “If you don’t mind,”

“Of course not! Anything for a customer. You know what…” the girl looked around for a moment at her empty store then lifted the part of the counter that could be raised to step through, motioning for Minnie to follow. “Since you’re an early bird, why don’t you come on into the back room and pick out the loaves you like best?”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly…”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun! I’ll even throw in some free samples!” The girl was smiling so brightly at Minnie she couldn’t find it in herself to say no. Awkwardly she stepped forward, following her to the back room. “I should probably introduce myself,” the girl called back as she led the way. “My name’s Renata. Yours?”

“Minerva,”

“That’s a pretty name. It suits you,”

“T-thanks,” Minnie found herself distracted as they entered the back room. There were dozens of racks everywhere full of all sorts of breads, sweets and other delicacies.

Renata looked around the room with a proud smile. “Magnificent, isn’t it? Back when my parents ran the place we used to be able to fill up the entire room, but I think I get by alright,”

Oh. Were her parents dead then? Was it expected to say something in condolence to her? Before Minnie could think on the matter further, a warm roll was thrust into her hands.

“Here. Something to munch on while you look around,”

Minnie slowly bit in. The warmth of the bread immediately filled her mouth, filling her with a sort of comfort deep inside. Minnie found a smile crossing her lips, mirroring Renata’s own smile in some small way.

“Good, right? Secret family recipe,” Renata lifted a finger to her lips, winking playfully at Minnie.

Minnie swallowed too fast and choked a bit on her mouthful of bread.

“Are you OK? I’ll get some water,” Renata rushed to get a cup, offering it to Minnie before she’d had time to regain her composure. All she could do was nod and accept it gratefully.

“So, Minnie, tell me about yourself. You can’t have grown up around here, so what brings you to Halverport? Do you live here?”

“Up in the hills along the shore,” Minnie answered. The roll had already been consumed. She meant to start looking for the loaves she needed, but Renata had already placed something new within her hand, this time a sticky bun.

“I love it up there!” Renata exclaimed. She gave an encouraging nod when Minnie looked unsure about the bun. “Sometimes I climb up that way to bother all the seagulls. I didn’t know there was anyone living up that way,”

“Not many do,” Minnie took a bite of the bun and her eyes widened in surprise. It was utterly delicious, even more so than the bread. Renata grinned as she saw Minnie take another excited bite.

“The buns are my favorite. The secret is cinnamon, but a healthy dose of sugar also helps,”

That must be it. Minnie had hardly ever had any sugar in her life. Being given something so sweet and syrupy out of the blue was an unexpected gift. Or was it a gift? Minnie eyed Renata with caution. What did this girl want? Minnie clearly didn’t have the look of someone with money. Did she want a favor then? The bun was already gone, decimated in the throes of Minnie’s excitement. “I can pay for that,” Minnie offered.

Renata waved a hand dismissively. “Like I said, they’re free samples. It’s nice having company in the kitchen again. I should probably get you that bread though, huh?” Renata grinned sheepishly and Minnie found herself regretting that she’d gotten her back on task.

They headed over to the regular loaves. Renata motioned at them grandly. “Take your pick,” she said, stepping to the side.

Minnie certainly wasn’t a bread connoisseur. She picked up a loaf or two, tapping on it then placing it back. Was that the way to test bread? She caught Renata smirking and immediately felt her face burn in embarrassment.

“Want me to pick the best ones out?” Renata offered.

“Please,”

As Renata leaned forward, rummaging through the bread racks, Minnie caught a whiff of something that reminded her of the sticky bun from minutes ago. It couldn’t be the bread though; they were a good distance away from the sweets section. What was that special ingredient Renata had spoken of? Cinnamon. The answer came back to Minnie all of a sudden. She looked over at Renata who was busy critiquing the loaves intently. She smells like cinnamon .

“Here we go!” Renata declared, holding forth three loaves of brown bread in her hands. “The best of the day,”

“I’ll take them,” Minnie began to transfer them over to her basket. She was taken by surprise when Renata used her now free hands to grab hold of Minnie’s and pull her back over to where the sweets lay.

“I’m gonna give you a few more goodies for the road. Gotta make sure you come back for repeat business. And I won’t take no for an answer,” Without waiting to hear Minnie’s protests, Renata began stuffing treats into the top of her basket. She stopped for a moment, looking up at Minnie. “Is it just you at home or do you have family?”

“Just my brother at home,”

“Then I’ll have to pack extra for him!” Renata picked up a loaf and displayed it proudly. “I’ve been told my banana bread’s the best in town. It’s cuz of the cinnamon again…” her voice dropped down to a conspiratorial whisper. “But don’t tell anyone, k?”

“O-OK,” Minnie couldn’t help but feel flustered as she smiled back at Renata. She’d just come here for some loaves of bread. What was even going on? “I should probably get going. My brother will be wondering where I am,”

Renata’s face fell at the news. “Oh… ok. I’ll see you out then,” Quietly she made her way to the front, Minnie following closely behind. Had she insulted Renata by saying she had to leave?

Minnie looked back worriedly once she’d stepped through the divide between the front and back of the store. She found Renata smiling just as brightly as ever though.

“Come back anytime, OK? I want to hear what your brother thinks of my famous banana bread,”

“Will do,” Minnie felt the tension leaving her gut knowing she hadn’t overstepped after all. “Thank you for all the free samples,”

“It was my pleasure,” Renata reached up to itch her nose and looked at her hand in surprise when she saw all the flour on it. “Gosh, have I had this much flour on my face the entire time? I must’ve looked like a clown!”

“No, I thought you looked nice,” Minnie froze at her words. What was she even saying?

The sentiment seemed to be appreciated by Renata though. She smiled brightly at Minnie’s words. “Really? I’ve have to be wearing more next time you come by then too,”

“Alright then,” Minnie wasn’t sure why she was agreeing, but who cared at this point? Nothing seemed to faze Renata anyway. With a final wave, Minnie exited the store. Her feet felt light under her feet as she started the walk home. Usually a grocery run like this would have completely wiped her out for the rest of the day, but Minnie felt a renewed sense of energy now. She wanted to play music or paint… something. She was feeling inspired.

#twdg #fanfic #a pirate's life for me au #twdg minnie #twdg renata #twdg tenn #twdg minata

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supersoldiersruined-me · 5 years

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I Could Never

A/N: This is so late, my brain hasn’t been my best friend lately. But, surprisingly, as I’d mentioned, school seems to have kickstarted my creativity. So here I am with a belated birthday gift for my space girlfriend @stanclub! I’ve already told you and keep saying it but I’m so happy to have you in my life! (at least I’m posting this while we’re still in Leo season! lol) 💕 Warning: um...cursing? no smut in that one. bit of angst. rpf Word count: 1.9k

Main Masterlist | Drabbles Masterlist

You had come home once to a fully decorated house, speechless before the immensity of work that was put into it. You hadn’t been able to spend Christmas at home, and Chris wanted to make sure you’d get a taste of it. After swearing that the band-aids on his fingers didn’t cover his struggle with the Christmas tree needles, you had settled down with hot cocoa in front of the fire and played board games until the wee hours of the morning.

On your birthday the year prior, a twelve person table was filled with family and friends who sat around a hearty brunch; his mom - who had grown to love you like her own daughter - joked about the pots of failed hollandaise sauce her son had expertly burned. His final result was amazing though.

Needless to say that Chris had settled a high level of expectation for surprises; that you soon found out was taken for granted. Flowers, amongst other things, were usually delivered to your house on special occasions, no exception. But only fresh-cut grass is being blown onto the rain stained pavement as you stare at an empty porch, and the sudden chill has you rushing back inside after one last quick glance around.

With your head well rested on the cold ceramic of your stand-alone shower, you let the warm water travel down your body, flushing away the sting of disappointment. Disappointment that, you’ve convinced yourself, holds a lot more meaning than simply being left giftless on your birthday. Salty tears are washed away; gut shivers have seized their attack on your poor nerves. Once the handle of the shower deprives you of warmer water, you settle to give him the rest of the day, while absentmindedly patting yourself dry and heading out to the patio for some fresh air.

The faint buzz of your phone on the wooden chair startles you out of a daydream.

“Hello?”

“Hey, kid! How’s it going?” A familiar voice echoes through the speaker with a spark of joy.

“Seen better. How about you, Mackie?” You know he can tell exactly how bad you feel, but he’s learned not to bother people with too many questions. Mostly you.

“T’sall good,” he adds, still bashful. “Hey, do you think you can do me a solid?”

A small sigh escapes your lips. It’s faint enough so he doesn’t feel guilty for asking, but quite effective to relieve a bit of tension in your heart.

“Sure. Seems like I have the day to myself anyway...” You know he can deal with your sarcasm - being a fluent speaker himself.

An hour later and a bottle of milk down, you’re sitting on the couch with his youngest in arm, watching that one scene in Moana on repeat. The floor has become the most hazardous place to walk, but the smell of fresh cookies, and the sweet snoring of the toddler seem to have cheered you up after the frustrating morning. The location of his house on a hill makes for the most beautiful sunset view. The rays bounce on the pool outside and heat up the room wonderfully. Soon the moon would take its place and begin another day, and the thought of having spent it alone brings back a small headache.

You’re setting the baby in his bed when a knock at the door startles you. You tiptoe through the dark house out of habit, which comes in handy for the situation. Not bothered to look out the small window by the door, you spring it open in one swift movement, and your knees practically give in when your eyes meet his baby blues. Before you can put a word in, a series of giggles comes from somewhere on his left; not only indicating that he has company, but that this company is female and apparently trying too hard to impress him. He’s wearing a black shirt, neatly tucked into some clean jeans; just the way you had recently suggested he tried. Hair slicked back and glimmer in his eyes. Dreamy, as usual. Clearly he wasn’t here to help babysit Mackie’s kids.

Another minute goes on before their laughter dims down and Chris seems to acknowledge your existence.

“Um, listen,” he begins through choked laughs. “I’m gonna need you to put this on.”

You look down at the black strip of fabric in his hand.

“Why should I?” The young girl hisses at your answer and bro-punches him on the arm.

“You said she was feisty. But man, she got you there.” You assume that your eyes dart through her soul because her sparkly smile immediately disappears. She glances quickly at Chris, and waves her hands in front of her before proceeding. “Oh, god. Look, I’m...” Her eyes shut close as she realises what you might have been insinuating. “Jesus, I’m sorry. I’m just here to take your place. I’m Anthony’s usual babysitter. Chris called me because he wants to ta-”

Her story is punctuated with Chris’ hand on her mouth. His brows rise up as a warning, and the poor girl snakes around you and into the house, taking the hint.

“I don’t know what you want, Chris but I’ve had a long day and I just-”

“Hold on, hold on!” His hand circles your wrist when you try to walk past him. “Y/N, okay look. I don’t want to break the surprise but please, put the blindfolds on and come with me.”

A small laugh comes out in a sigh, and your head shamefully drops down. So there is a surprise.

His finger carefully tips your chin up so he can look at you again.

“You thought I had forgotten?” His accusation is nothing but a friendly remark. Shivers run up your spine at the grin he offers next. “I could never,” he whispers a bit too close to your cheek. The last cloud dissipates and the stars begin to shine brighter. All of a sudden the air is a lot easier to breathe, although your heart seems to run faster.

His hands stretch the fabric in front of you, and you comply to the invitation. With your back towards him so he can secure it properly over your eyes, careful not to tangle your hair into it, you feel like a little kid waiting to unwrap their presents - albeit you’re the one being wrapped up. You curse yourself for doubting him. The ‘I could never’ replays in your mind, oddly pulling new sensations out of you - added to the fact that his breath tickles your neck with his proximity.

The ride is quite short and only makes his intentions much more mysterious. The only option to be ticked off the hypothetical list is him taking you out downtown, which would have taken twice the time. And you’re relieved to have a more casual night, considering the not-so-glamorous sundress covering your body. One thing Chris hadn’t thought of was to keep you from hearing your surroundings. As you stepped out of the car, the splashing of water gave up the first clue.

“Chris, if you want to throw me down the river this wasn’t-”

“Oh, just shhh.”

You walk down a small path, small branches snap under your feet, a faint cackling waits in the distance. The humming of the city seems to fade with each stomp, allowing you to relax for the first time today. Once you’re a few more minutes away, the grip on your shoulders tightens, bringing you to a stop. You hear him take a deep breath.

“Alright,” he adds in a soft tone. He steps behind you, and after a little warning takes the blindfold off.

It takes a few blinks before your mind catches onto the scene before you.

An off-white drape dangles from a few trees, looping around poles and creating an inviting tent - the ones so popular in fancy home renovation magazines. A picnic cloth sits underneath it, and everything is beautifully lit with a generous amount of fairy lights, tiki lamps and a slow burning campfire along the water line. The sight is mesmerizing, something out of a children’s book, and it has you wanting to shout “I do believe in fairies!”

The moonlight dances on the lake and glistens back into your watery eyes. With your hands over your mouth you turn around to him. His bottom lip is tucked between his teeth and his look is to die for. He’s soft and proud and his eyes are full of something new. Something you can’t quite figure out yet.

“This is just…” Your eyes dart back to the secluded area. Something he bothered his siblings with, you’re sure of, until they agreed to lend a hand after their mom insisted Chris’ intentions were founded. But you know he came up with the idea himself. Had it not been for his money, you think, this would’ve been a home-made fort in his living room, and you wouldn’t have complained - although the extra attention does make you feel warm and loved.

Loved. There’s the feeling.

In a rush, you tiptoe towards him, anchoring your arms around his neck and in a heap of passion, your lips come to his. Surprise suddenly takes him victim, until he responds and starts moving his lips, then tongue, against yours. You part with a huff, looking for your breath - which seems to be the theme for the night. His mouth rests on your forehead as he keeps your bodies connected. Hands roam the other in search for meaning. Answers. It’s with drips on your cheeks and a childish giggle that you dip your head back.

“Was about time,” he teases. You puffs in fake annoyance before stealing a couple more pecks.

“I didn’t see you make the first move...”

“I threw you all sorts of hints! Why did it have to be me?” You laugh at his remark.

“Alright, touché. But still. Thought you were old-school about this kind of stuff,” you clarify.

“I’m old-school as in I like to make sure that she’s the one, you know. All those years I planned things and bought some random stuff and you never asked for more. I could shit in a cup and you’d be hap-”

“Christopher! Fucking mood killer!” You pat him on the chest with your comical accusation, earning a deep laugh - minus the boob grab because he wasn’t about to take his hands from you.

“You get what I mean. You never made a big deal out of this,” he adds as he waves behind you. “You never made a big deal out of me. You let me buy things without always making me feel guilty for having this luxury. And then when I want to watch football with beer, wings and ribs stuck in my teeth you join in with a huge smile of excitement. I love the contrast...”

He closes his eyes for a second, trailing the last words in a shy whisper. Your hand comes to his cheek and your heart melts when he leans into it, water now overflowing under his long lashes.

“And I think I love you,” you say. His sparkly baby blues shot open, volleying between yours and analysing your expression. Looking for a hint of doubt, maybe. But then again, wasn’t this what he had always hoped for?

“I think I fucking love you too,” he answers. He kisses you, as if to seal a deal.

Best birthday ever.

#brb crying #my writing #chris evans x reader #chris evans fic #rpf #birthday writing #friend tag #amanda tag #space girlfriend #I love you boo #I hope this isn't too bad #*hides behind hands*

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