#i decided to go crazy tonight and really bring it into focus

[thelonelybrilliance]

The Figurehead: Chapter 4

Road Music, Richard Siken

He was not dead yet, not exactly— parts of him were dead already, certainly other parts were still only waiting for something to happen, something grand, but it isn’t always about me, he keeps saying, though he’s talking about the only heart he knows—

He could build a city. Has a certain capacity. There’s a niche in his chest where a heart would fit perfectly and he thinks if he could just maneuver one into place— well then, game over.

Excerpt:

“I’ll take my car,” Steve says. There is no way in hell he’s getting into Jonathan Byers’ stoner friend’s pizza-mobile, that’s for goddamn sure. Not while he’s got a pulse and some passable approximation of free will.

(If this is punishment for stealing the Winnebago, he supposes it does fit the crime.)

#my fanfic #i decided to go crazy tonight and really bring it into focus #also some h/c #but like #i can't always be writing 3500 words a day in this economy #i hope y'all enjoy tho #speed of light folks speed of light #stranger things #stancy #fic: the figurehead #stranger things season 5 speculation #stranger things season 4 #stranger things spoilers #fanfic #stancy fic

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

Can you do Alastor x Hispanic singer reader? Possibly Fem reader? She could be like Selena or La India ( if you know who they are, if not its fine! )

A/n: Alastor’s type is singers 100%, he’s in love with the stage and that includes the people in it, and as a latina woman I’m excited for this

Warnings: Mentions of death, Slight! Obsession (from fans), SFW all around, Alastor is bad at feelings

Songs you can listen too while reading: Captive Heart by Selena. I could fall in love by Selena. Ese Hombre by La India. Vivir Lo Nuestro by La India. Ocean by Karol G. Not Too Late by Kali Uchis.

Navigation!! // Masterlist!!

Alastor doesn’t know spanish to save the life of him

but what he DOES know is french, and THAT a for some reason makes more sense to him when translating that into spanish ( the world may never know why )

He doesn’t realize you SING spanish music at first

The two of you meet through Charlie, you’d wanted to get rehabilitated and she introduced you to Alastor

when you spoke to him he noticed you sounded, off almost? like you were struggling a bit to speak

he didn’t question it, brushing it off with a shrug until Charlie asked you how you died

you explain to her you had gotten killed by a fan, who was crazy in the worst way possible

cue alastor like 🤨🤨 huh???

he acts like he doesn’t overheat on the conversation and decides to keep it to himself

until crowds of people are at the hotel asking for you and now suddenly your nowhere to be seen so now he’s really suspicious like ??

he sends his shadows after you, and they tell him your hiding in a storage closet practically freaking out

charlie manages to get the crowd to leave and when you do come back your uncharacteristically quiet

it’s then Alastor hears from Angel that your basically one of the biggest singers to die so far and suddenly the crowds showing up makes sense

Charlie can’t help it and says with all the attention the hotel got she wants you to hold a show to bring more people here and though the timing is horrible you agree

alastor is more interested in how this show is gonna go

UNTIL he sees how much you change on stage

you look so much happier, more at peace and while your fairly chipper this is different from the regular, it’s nice

he’s admittedly blown away by your voice, because the vocals? he’s shocked, he definitely didn’t expect that

he also wonders how your singing in english is better than your speaking

he does like your music though and when the show is over and you finally settle down again he’s at your side asking all sorts of questions

like where did you learn to sing like that ?

what’s your favorite song to sing?

how do you sing better in english but struggle speaking it in conversation?

can you teach him? You answer them all casually and tell him it’s just something you’ve always done

He begins to encourage that you sing again, to keep your career going, your fairly young, you still have talent, you should

and reluctantly you agree

out of the two of you, you’re actually the one to confess first through song ;)

“I only have a few songs left for tonight.” You say into the microphone. The fans cheer and the lights focus on you once more. You smile before the music starts up again. “This song means more to me than when I wrote it. Now it means something more because I have someone to care about.” You say again, and you stop letting the music play for a bit. At the sound of the music playing for the song the fans cheer, excited once more. “I could lose my heart tonight If you don't turn and walk away. Cause the way I feel I might, lose control and let you stay.”

In the stands, Charlie and Vaggie smile to each other enjoying the song while Angel just silently listens. Husk is drunk out of his mind with a bottle of booze while Nifty is listening contently. Alastor is watching, now having questions. Who are you talking about? The crew is straight in front of the stage, just a bit higher up above ground in the stadium. “And I know it's not right, and I guess I should try, to do what I should do. But I could fall in love, fall in love with you. I could fall in love with you” You’re now at the front of the stage, and Alastor can’t tell if your staring at him or the people around him.

“Siempre estoy soñando en ti. Besando mis labios, acariciando mi piel. Abrazándome con ansias locas. Imaginando que me amas. Como yo podía amar a ti.” Suddenly he’s grateful for all those spanish lessons you gave him while writing your songs, because now he knows what you’re saying. I'm always dreaming of you. Kissing my lips, caressing my skin. hugging me with crazy longing. imagining that you love me, how could I love you.

The song ends not to long after that, and there are only a few more songs before the show ends. Charlie and the rest of the group meet you backstage to congratulate you. “You did amazing Y/n! Thank you so much.” Charlie says as she runs over to you hugging you. You smile and hug her back, Vaggie handing you a bouquet of flowers. The ride back to the hotel is relatively quiet, small talk here and there, but everyone is so tired they’re all ready to knock out.

Except for Alastor who is scrambling nonsense around in his mind.

Why did he feel like you were talking to him?

Were you?

when you get back to the hotel you excuse yourself to your room, getting un-ready

and before you’re about to go to bed you hear a knock at your door

you open it to see alastor

“Hello my dear! I wanted to discuss something with you.” You stare a bit nervous before nodding.

“Would you like to accompany me on an evening stroll?” He asks, and you feel a bit excited.

“Of course, let me get a sweater first.”

When you come back you shut your room door and the two of you begin walking down the hall.

It isn’t until you leave the hotel you speak again. “so what did you want to discuss?” You ask and he just smiles wider.

“I wanted to praise you’re preformance tonight. It was truly astounding! Why it put poor old Annette to shame!” He complimented, beaming a smile. You pat yourself on the back mentally before thanking him.

“Alastor, I think we both know what needs to be said.” you speak up, sensing his nervousness. He stiffens before stopping entirely.

“I believe you’re aware of where my feelings reside for you.” You say, trying to carefully speak to make sure you make more sense. He just nods, and you sigh.

“I understand if you don’t… feel the same. I am content with moving on and forgetting this-“

“Why that’s no way to live dear.” Alastor says, a smile on his face. His staff disappears and he takes your hands in his, twirling you before bringing you close. “Podría enamorarme de ti.”

#alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin charlie #hazbin angel dust #hazbin vaggie #hazbin demon #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel rosie #alastor #isuckatwritingsobenice

[leelei1980]

Loving Mr.Munson- In the beginning - Part one- Connection

This is a mini series, a Prologue to the Loving Mr. Munson series that I am writing -

This series is based the reader, giving insight into her life and what her life was like dating the infamous Robbie Munson, Eddie's son. It brings us through the first date, the first time meeting Mr. Munson and the reader catching Robbie cheating. This was a request and I hope that you all enjoy it!

🛑 Smut warning- Mature content-18+ -Minors DNI 🛑

Robbie Munson:

Reader:

You couldn't believe it, tonight you were actually going out on a date. It's not like you had never dated before, you had in highschool, you had a boyfriend in highschool. Said boyfriend had however decided that it would probably be better if you amicably broke up before college leaving the door open for the both of you to , how did he put it, 'Explore other options." You were heartbroken, not really feeling the need to explore other options, you would have been perfectly happy in a long distance relationship, calling and catching up in person when possible, he was only going to school an hour away for christ sakes, it was not like he was halfway across the country! But you decided that you were probably better off anyway, that without him on your mind you would be able to concentrate on your work, put all of your focus on learning.

You weren't even interested in being in a relationship, you were fine with being alone, you were a smart, independent girl, you had friends that you hung out with ,but you were also happy just hanging back and reading in your dorm room. You were fine being a homebody, and lived vicariously through your crazy roommate Lisa, she was the complete opposite of you, she was wild and crazy and outgoing and the two of you were instant friends . You had really won the lottery with her, you had heard nightmarish stories of college roommates that were absolute nutcases and felt fortunate that you had been placed with her.

Freshman year flew by, your grades were outstanding, your parents were extremely proud of you and you felt completely in the zone and ready for your Sophomore year. Sure your classes were be a little more difficult but you could handle it, you had no distractions in your life.... until the fateful night that Lisa took you to a party. That was the night you met Robbie Munson.

" You need to get out and live a little! You always stay cooped up in this room, studying and reading, your halfway through your Sophomore year and you haven't even been to a party, you haven't gotten laid-" Your roommate stood before ripping the textbook from your hands." Your going out tonight. There are going to be some super hot guys at this party maybe you can finally hook up-"

You shook your head and grabbed at the book." I don't really care about hooking up Lisa-"

" Well I care! Your practically a Nun!" She tossed the book away. " Don't be such a nerd! Come out with me!"

" I can't, I don't have anything to wear-"

" You can borrow something from me -"

" My ass is way bigger than yours is-"

" Great! Show it off! Your way too pretty to hide yourself away in this room. " She sighed then whined, "Come on!"

You sighed back. " Fine, fine! " You flopped back on your bed dramatically." Find me something to wear "

" Yes!" Lisa shrieked and ran to her closet and started throwing clothes at you.

You let her, as she called it,'Slut you up' a little bit, she did your makeup, your hair and picked out an outfit then you guys were out the door.

The party was mayhem, loud and crowded, definitely not your scene, and shortly after arriving you found yourself wandering out to the porch for some fresh air. That's when you caught a whiff of pot, that is when you met Robbie Munson.

He was gorgeous, he had the kindest eyes you had ever seen and they drew you in. You spent the rest of the night sitting on the front porch talking and laughing like you had known him your whole life. He was funny and oozed charm and charisma, you had never met anyone like Robbie Munson.

" So gorgeous girl," He flashed you a toothy smile. " I felt a connection between the two of us,did you feel a connection?"

You smiled. There was definitely something there between the two of you." I'm feeling a spark for sure."

He smiled again." Good, that's good. " He bit his lip and lightly ran a finger along the back of your hand." I think that we should see where this -" he pointed between the two of you." Goes. Whatta ya say? Want to go out sometime?"

" Yes!" You answered almost too quickly." That would be wonderful."

" Tomorrow? Is that too soon? Do you have any plans?"

" I was just planning on studying but other than that I'm open."

" You're a smart cookie aren't you?How about this Sweetheart, since midterms are right around the corner, and we could both probably use a little review why don't we do a study date? Unless you think that is totally lame-"

" No! Not at all! It would be perfect."

" We could study, I could get us a pizza, beer, we could get to know each other, super casual, super chill."

You sighed. " That sounds amazing."

Robbie smiled and it made your heart melt. "Than it's a date. Wanna study here? Pretty sure my roommates will all be out for the night, it being the weekend and all, we would have the place to ourselves."

"Sounds great." You smiled. You watched as he picked up your hand and brought it to his lips.

" Until tomorrow Cookie."

**********************************************************

You fiddled with the hem of your sweater as you stood on the front porch of Robbie's place waiting for him to answer the door. You were so fucking nervous, it had been forever since you had been on a date, forever since you had kissed someone and sex- you practically considered yourself to be a born again virgin at this point. What if one thing led to another and you ended up having sex tonight? Would you even remember what to do? The thought made your stomach flutter.

You jumped when the door opened and you could only hope that he hadn't seen you.

A large smile spread across his face. "Welcome back Cookie, come on in."

You felt your heart pitter patter at the sweet nickname. You smile." Thanks Robbie."

He guided you into the house,placing a hand on your lower back, and lead you into the dining room where there was pizza and cold beer waiting . "Welcome, make yourself at home."

The two of you studied for a couple of hours, quizzing each other on different subjects, and your stomach did flip flops every time you caught him looking at you over the top of his book . The two of you would try to keep it interesting by asking questions about each other along the way, you found out that Robbie was an only child, that he had been raised solely by his dad, that his mom had abandoned them when he was just a baby, and that he was the first Munson to go to college. He had played a lot of sports in middle school and high school, but didn't consider himself a jock, he did some theater, played the guitar a little bit and had very eclectic music taste.

You were absolutely drawn to him, and there were times when you realized that you were simply staring at him, into his big dark brown puppy dog eyes, at his full lips. He was the prettiest boy you had ever seen.

" I have a question for you Cookie," Robbie smiled and reached across the table taking one of your hands in his and making circles along the back of it with his thumb.

" Sure, fire away Munson ." You were trying to play it cool, but the truth was just the feeling of your hand in his was making your heart flutter.

" Can I kiss you?" His eyes locked with yours.

You blinked. This gorgeous boy wanted to kiss you? You had to make sure you weren't dreaming," You want to kiss me?"

He smiled." I've been wanting to kiss you all goddamned night, from the second you walked in that door."

" Really?"

" Yes really." He ran a finger down the side of your face and leaned forward across the table." So, what do you say?"

You leaned the rest of the way across the table and lightly placed your mouth on his. His lips were soft and warm on yours, pillowy and plush, and when he reached up and held your face gently in his hands, you knew you were a goner. You had forgotten how much you liked kissing, the intimacy of it, and Robbie, he was an amazing kisser. You could kiss this boy all night, and you did. The initial kiss at the table lead to kissing in the hallway, getting pressed up against the door to his bedroom, his lips trailing hot kisses down your neck. He pulled away just long enough to open the door then his mouth was on yours again and he was walking you back towards the bed. You felt the back of your legs hit the mattress and you pulled him down with you. Your heart was pounding in your chest.

Robbie pulled away, his body now hovering over yours."We can stop at anytime Sweetheart, ok?"

You looked up at him and smiled. " I don't want to stop Robbie, please don't stop, it's just that it's been a while-"

He cupped your cheek in his hand and smiled." Don't worry baby, I will take good care of you." And just like that his mouth and his hands were all over you. His touch was gentle and sweet, and you could feel your body trembling as he undressed you, it wasn't because of fear, though you were a little nervous, it was more from anticipation, knowing what was coming next. You certainly weren't a prude but you weren't typically the kind of girl to put out on the first date. But there was something different with Robbie, there was a connection, like you could see this turning into something more. Maybe you were just naive, maybe you were just horny.

And you had to admit it, you missed this. You missed the closeness, the warmness and weight of a male body on top of you. There was something about the hardness of his body complimenting the softness of yours. He took his time, almost painstakingly so, warming you up, making sure that your body was ready for him. You gasped as he entered you, feeling the fullness of him inside you. It had been so long since the last time you had sex that you had almost forgotten how good it felt.

Robbie groaned as he slowly pumped in and out of you, the sound of his voice was music to your ears. It felt so good and you hoped and prayed that for his sake and yours you would be able to climax. It wasn't always something that happened and your previous boyfriend often times he made you feel like you were broken because you didn't cum every time. He also ignored the fact that 90% of the time he fucked into you like a jackrabbit and was done in two minutes, but according to him that didn't have anything to do with it at all.

Robbie was different, he was taking his time with you, maybe it was because it was your first time, maybe not but it was incredible.

You soon felt the dizzying wave of pleasure wash over you and you were greatful for the release, and just moments after Robbie climaxed, spilling his seed into the condom that he wore. He collapsed on top of you and you ran your fingers through his thick curls. He picked up his head and smiled, his beautiful eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Stay with me." He leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to your dewy forehead and you swore in that moment you knew, that this could potentially turn into something truly special.

As always thank you for reading❤️ I always appreciate comments and re-blogs,you guys are the best🥰

Tag list Lovlies : @tlclick73 @fairymunson @micheledawn1975 @elegantkoalapaper @goth-cowgirl-03 @bmunson86 @retrorage86 @hideoutside @veemoon @emmyshortcake @erinekc @babyloutattoo89 @amberolivia666 @eddiesxangel @liminalpebble @eddiesacousticguitar @munsons-mayhem28 @munsonsmullet @skyline4446 @maskofmirrors @blainetiberiuswinchester @bexreadstoomuch @xxhellfirebunnyxx @candice-1983 @imyourdaninow @harrywavycurly @corkadymu @eddiesguitarskills @mmunson86

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie fanfic #eddie munson fanfic #dilf!eddie munson #eddie munson blurb #older eddie munson #loving mr munson #leeleiwrites

[shigaraki-stuff]

minors do not interact!

18+ only

warning tags: nipple play

relationship: shigaraki x reader

summary: shigaraki gives his subscribers a nice show

reminder this is purely for entertainment purposes!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

✧ a nice live show ✧

Shigaraki was a gamer. He played live and he had a decent amount of subscribers and tonight he had decided to do his first Q and A. Something he has never done before.

His subscribes asked him many question. Such as…

what’s your favorite video game?

how did you get into gaming?

what game are you playing next?

Those were some question that came and Shigaraki answered them. Some other questions that were just plain weird he even answered. That was until a question came that caught his eye and interest.

are you in a relationship?

Some of his subscribers started to reply to the question, such as…

No way dude is in a relationship

I’ll be surprised if he is in one

You really think he’s in a relationship

You really think a guy who looks like him is in a relationship

Shigaraki didn’t mind these answers. He could understand why those answers were said. Shigaraki wasn’t the best looking guy. He always wore a simple black hoodie, his hair a blue-ish white color, his eyes red, his neck horribly scratched, along with other things.

“Yes, I am in a relationship.” Shigaraki answered.

The chat was going crazy at Shigaraki’s answer. Shigaraki at that very moment had gotten beaten by another player and sighed. He looked into the camera and gave his subscribers a grin. “Would you like to see her?”

Yes

Bet he’s lying

Bring her out

Show us proof

“BABY CAN YOU COME HERE!” Shigaraki called out for you. You slowly opened the door and poked your head into the room. “Yes?” You answered.

Shigaraki extended his arms out, “Come here.” You walked into the room and walked towards Shigaraki standing next to him.

His subscribers saw nothing but your smooth legs and a long shirt that stopped at your mid thigh. “Yes babe?”

Shigaraki grabbed your hips and pulled you down onto his lap. Your back against his chest and he quickly wrapped his arms around your waist. “Say hi to all my subscribers watching.”

You got flustered quickly when knowing you were being watched. “Umm… hello everyone.” You gave a small wave and shy smile.

“See I’m not lying.” Shigaraki happily said. You turned around to face him, “Can I go now?” You didn’t want to be here anymore.

Shigaraki was going to let you go but he quickly thought of an idea. A sinister idea. “Stay with me for a while. Be my lucky charm.”

“But you’re good at games you don’t need me besides I’m not to comfortable especially with what I’m wearing.”

Shigaraki placed his hands on your thighs both his pinkies up in the air avoiding your skin. “You’re perfect besides they can’t see your lower half.”

“I don’t know Shiggy.”

His hands spread your legs apart and one of his index fingers found your clit slowly rubbing circles. “Come on baby. Be my lucky charm.”

You were a massive sucker when Shigaraki would play with your clit. You would fall at his mercy. You obeyed and agreed to any thing and all things. “Ok just a few games and then I’m leaving.”

Shigaraki smirked and kissed the back of your neck. “Just a few games. You can occupy yourself by talking to my subscribers and answering a few of their questions.” And he quickly went back to play another game.

And you did. You occupied yourself by answering a few questions that is until Shigaraki decided to put pause and he placed the controller in your hands. “My hands are getting tired why don’t you play for a while. Show them that you’re good at games.”

“But I haven’t played this game. I’ll lose.”

“I’ll walk you through it. Just relax and focus on the game.” Shigaraki wrapped his arms around your waist placed his head on your shoulder.

“Ok.”

Shigaraki walked you through the game showing and telling you which buttons to press. You were doing a decent job and when you passed the level you couldn’t help but happily jump on Shigaraki’s lap. “I did it! I passed it!”

Shigaraki nodded and gave you a kiss on the cheek. “I knew you’ll make it.”

“Can I play another one?” You asked to which Shigaraki agreed.

You started to play another level while Shigaraki decided to see the chat. And then Shigaraki saw something and couldn’t help but grin.

Those jiggle quite nicely

Shigaraki knew that this certain subscriber was talking about your boobs. And suddenly Shigaraki grabbed the hem of your long shirt and pulled it all the way up your breast coming into view. “Aren’t they nice? Just look how they bounce.”

Shigaraki started to bounce you on his lap making your breast bounce. You quickly dropped the controller and covered your breast with your hands. “Shigaraki let my shirt go. This isn’t something your subscribers are here to watch.”

Shigaraki looked over at the chat and it was blowing up. Shigaraki grinned and he acted quickly he shoved the shirt into your mouth, pulled your hands away from your breast and placed them behind your back trapping them as he pressed his chest against your back.

“You’re wrong doll, they definitely want to see this.” Shigaraki grabbed ahold of your nipples with his index finger and thumb and pulled and squeezed them. Whimpers came from you. You never liked when Shigaraki played with your nipples. It always hurt you.

You dropped the shirt and spoke, “Shigaraki stop. You know I hate it when you play with my nipples. It hurts.”

The chat was going crazy and Shigaraki didn’t care about the chat or even how he knew you were hurting. “Be good for daddy or else your sweet cunt will be next thing that will show up on my live stream. So open that little mouth and don’t you dare drop your shirt.”

You opened your mouth and Shigaraki shoved the shirt back in and you bit it keeping it in place. You definitely didn’t want your cunt on live stream for people to see.

Shigaraki abused your nipples, tears streamed down your face as your nipples were getting abused. Finally Shigaraki stopped and repositioned you. Your front facing him and he gave you an apologetic look. “Shh… I’ll take care of you Baby.”

Shigaraki pushed you down against the gaming desk your teared up face showing for the whole live to see you. Shigaraki leaned down and placed his tongue against your very red and swollen nipples. You couldn’t handle it anymore. You let go of your shirt and spoke, “Shiggy stop. It hurts.”

Shigaraki stopped and looked at you. “I know Baby. I know. So let me take care of you.”

Shigaraki looked at the camera and spoke, “Duty calls.” Shigaraki cut and turned off the live stream. Shigaraki picked you up and walked towards the bedroom. “Let me take care of you.” Shigaraki slowly placed you down and he took very good care of you and your swollen nipples.

#shigaraki tomura #shigaraki tenko #shigaraki x you #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura x you #shigaraki tenko x you #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki tenko x reader

[thequeenofthewinter]

These Dreams

Finally finished this thing which I have been working on. The Halsin brain rot is real, and obviously, this crazy fever dream of a thing was inspired by that.

Pairing: Female Tav/Halsin

Warnings: kissing, wandering hands, implied sexual thoughts

2,019 words

Link to AO3: Click here

Why tonight of all nights she decided to do this, she will never know.

Iluna turns her head once more, checking behind her to see if he still follows her. Halsin’s footsteps, of course, are silent. If she didn’t know any better, she would say the darkened leaves of the forest path part their fronds for him, seeming to know his every move. Perhaps, they do. One of these days, she will have to ask him about it.

“I’m not going anywhere, Iluna. I won’t abandon you here in the forest—even if it is against your better judgement to bring us out here this late.” Halsin looks at her with concern in his eyes, yet he still smiles.

 That is one of many things which draws her to him. He always seems to find the positive in everything despite any shadows which may surround them. It’s a gift that is uniquely his.

“What? Do you think the bears will get us?” She cannot resist teasing him, just a little, and he doesn’t disappoint her.

“You mean apart from me?” He laughs, a soft whisper of a sound which sends her heart aflutter.

“You know very well that we can both take care of ourselves,” she tells him as she continues her way through the path, gently pushing back the tall ferns so as not to damage them. “Besides, I told you that I have a surprise for you.” 

If Iluna was to turn to him right now, he would be able to see the blush creeping onto her face plain as day. Lately, she knows that he has had a hard time being in the city, surrounded by so many buildings and so many people, so she wanted to do something for him to help his unease—and to express her feelings for him.

“One which you refuse to tell me any details of, but the Oakfather made me patient, so I will wait.”

Iluna knows very well how patient he can be; however, she can still hear the slight hope in his voice that she will reveal even the smallest detail to him. On this, she will unfortunately have to disappoint him. “I promise it will be worth it in the end.”

“Of that, I have no doubts.”

They continue to walk the trodden path before them, fireflies starting to pop up in and out among the tall grasses beneath their feet as if playing hide and seek. It had always charmed her to be out in the forest, even if she isn’t that familiar with nature as of late. Halsin had brought out a yearning in her which she thought had been long buried deep within her from her childhood. She grew up in the temperate forests where deciduous leaves mingled with the needles of evergreens. Until meeting him, she did now know how much she missed it—the connection to the earth and the life which teems from her soils. Iluna feels it even now. 

Despite the fact that her father was a druid, she never considered herself one—still doesn’t know if she is or could be. That much was lost to her when her parents separated years ago.

Now is not the time to think on such matters. There will be plenty of time to focus on her existential crisis later. Iluna shakes her head, wiping those thoughts from her head like cobwebs from the darkened corners of a cave. 

“It won’t be farther. Just a few more steps.” She distracts herself by trying to speak with Halsin. “As soon as we push just past the treeline…”

And there is it. The dense forest opens up into a secluded grove where grass and mossy ground meet the brightly twinkling stars and shining moon. As Halsin makes his way out into the open air, he smiles, a cool breeze blowing through the warm summer air. It is perfect—the little slice of home that he had missed. How did she know? Is he really so easy to read?

A bit nervously, Iluna turns to him, her dark hair catching in the wind and covering part of her face. “I stumbled upon this place the other day when I was looking for—”

Halsin walks closer to her, a wide smile on his face as he extends a hand to tuck the loose tendril behind one of her pointed ears. “I am grateful for the gesture and that you thought of me.”

Suddenly, she is glad for the cover of night as she is sure her face is on fire. “That—that isn’t it. Well, I mean, it is part of the surprise, but there is more.”

“More?” He asks, eyes wide as he leans down to whisper in her ear. “What more do I need than to be here enjoying the beauty of nature in all its forms, current company included?”

One of these days, he will be her undoing. She asks herself again why she decided to torture herself in this way as she swallows hard. It is undeniable that she is attracted to him, and she is fairly certain that he would say yes to any of her advances if she made them known, but she has not made a single move until now.

As Iluna has gotten to know him over the past few months, he has opened up to her, and she has learned a lot about him. The things he has endured, the doubts he has had, how selfless he is—he has sacrificed too much, and he deserves more than he can even know. And now, with everything coming to a head, she would be foolish not to make her feelings known, even if it feels like they would swallow her whole. 

For a moment, she contemplates blurting out her thoughts, but then thinks better of it as she look up at him, his golden eyes turning almost molten in the moonlight. No, Iluna shakes her head. She has to do this right. Instead, she bites her tongue and gestures behind herself to a grassy knoll where a blanket lays along with a mysterious basket. 

Halsin turns his head, looking to where she has indicated, and it dawns on him that she had planned this planned out prior to coming here. The wind shifts and brings to him the familiar scent of honeyed cakes—a particular weakness of his. His brows furrow as he looks down at her curiously. “You went to all this trouble just for me?”

The question sounds foreign on his tongue, as if the concept of someone taking such interest in him has left him utterly bewildered. He was the one who was accustomed to taking care of others and checking on their needs. For a moment, he is left stilled, not a word nor movement for once—only furrowed brows set above plain disbelief.

The wind shifts again, untucking the hair from behind Iluna’s ear. With it her thoughts shift, scattering like leaves as she tries to collect herself. “If you don’t like it, or if it’s too—” She stops herself before her thoughts come spilling out of her unbidden.

In the silence, he moves.

It takes no more than a moment for Halsin to react. Two strides and he is standing in front of her. Another second and a warm palm is cupped beneath her chin to move her gaze up to his own. 

“May I?” He asks, his fingers tracing her jawline.

It takes not more that a simple nod for her to unravel, opening up to him as his lips come down to meet hers with gentle softness.

Is this real? She doesn’t know. All of her most recent dreams have ended like this, and she never imagined that she would actually arrive at this point—into the steady hands of her deepest fantasies, pressed so close to him that she feels as if she were on fire.

Grass, herbs, leather and rain flood her senses, and she cannot help but drown herself in him. A soft whimper escapes her lips, and what starts as gentle quickly becomes hungry as their lips crash together sloppily—tongues touching and further fueling their need for each other. Hands wander across bare inches of warm skin, skimming up and down until their fingers entangle in each other’s hair. And with each touch, Halsin is all too happy to oblige her as his hands eventually reach down to grip her waist gently and bring her closer to him. 

For a single moment, it is difficult for Iluna to tell where she ends and he begins as she gets lost in the sensation of their meeting.

It takes all the strength within her to pull away from him.

She wishes she didn’t have to, but at the same time she needs to know. Living in dreams might seem nice in concept, but to have them ripped out from under her would be too harsh a cruelty. With everything currently going on, Iluna doesn’t know if she could survive that.

“What is the matter, my heart?” Halsin looks down at her, concern in his eyes, as a hand moves to cup her cheek again.

“This is the best dream I have ever had.” Iluna looks up at him, lips slightly swollen and green eyes shining bright under the moonlight. “But…” She bites her lip as if to stop herself from saying anything more than she should.

“Talk to me. There is no one here but the forest, and she will tell no secrets.”

Iluna ponders if she really should. As much as this is a dream from which she would prefer not to wake, perhaps this is not what he wants. She sighs. If there is anyone who deserves the truth, it is him. He has been through too much. “I like you.”

The words sound small as they are swallowed in the darkness. She isn’t a child. Why can’t she—

A small chuckle from Halsin interrupts her internal scolding. “I should hope so after a kiss like that.”

Iluna colors from her cheeks to the tips of her ears as the sound of those words echoes through her mind.

“Why are you afraid of what nature is freely giving to you? Is this not what you wanted?” He steps a little closer to her, the hand on her cheek starting to slide down her side until it rests at the curve of her waist. “I know that this is what I would choose, should you consent. Perhaps we could even have more.”

She is left without words as his own steal the breath from her. Head spinning, she tries to make sense of it all. This is what she wants, so why is it that she cannot speak?

“I would gladly share in these dreams with you wherever they go. All you have to do is ask.” He waits for her patiently—one, two, three seconds, but when she doesn’t respond, he swallows, his feet beginning to step away from her. Maybe he did misinterpret her after all.

The sound of a twig snapping beneath Halsin’s feet brings her back to her senses. “No—I…” She reaches out a hand which grazes his back before dropping it to her side. “Nothing would make me happier than to spend whatever time it is that I have left with you.”

He turns, honeyed eyes looking down at her softly. “Then I would be happy to oblige your request, and any possible others you might have.”

“I have but one.” Iluna tries to keep the smile from her face, but it is impossible—not on a night like this when it feels like all her hopes and dreams are within her grasp. And with the current company, they might as well be.

Halsin moves closer to her once more and his arms encircle her waist. “Am I going to like what it is?”

“Perhaps.” She smirks as one of her hands reaches up to rest at the base of his neck. “Kiss me.”

“Nothing would give me more pleasure.”

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #halsin #halsin x tav #halsin x oc #winter writes #new fandom wave

[itslottiehere]

you’re no good alone (h.s) - part two

hello beautiful people 🤍 here is part two of my first one shot. wow. i can’t believe you guys appreciated it so much that you wanted a second part. it’s so crazy to me, and i just want to say — perhaps for the hundredth time, but i don’t care — a huge thank you to all of you for liking it. it’s something i will always cherish, so, really, thank you.

now! part two is finally here. this part is so deeply important to me, because there’s me all over it. every thought the female character has, it’s something i went through with a guy that was basically my best friend, but then i fell for him and our relationship went south. (if you’ve been here for a while, no, it’s not about the edinburgh guy that ghosted me for a month and then blocked me lol). so, if you’re reading this, just know that i’m giving you some of the deeper, most secret part of myself to you. and i’m happy about that. i do have to say that this was cathartic. so please, take this piece of me and make it yours. happy reading everyone 🤍 please let me know what you think, whether in the tags or in my asks. they really help me!

part 1 | part 3 | masterlist | let me know what u think here

tw: angst, alcohol consumption.

word count: 2.8k

—

she finally walked through her apartment door, and all she could think about was getting into her pjs and just go to sleep.

her friends dragged her out of her house to celebrate her last exam.

she was able to fend them off for the last two months, with the excuse of her final exam. but now, when she went to turn them down, she couldn’t find any excuse.

well, actually she did have one, and it was a pretty big one, but not one her friends accepted.

they knew about the breakup, and they all understood her choice. they were proud of her and how she decided to stand up for everything she worked for.

what they weren’t so happy about was seeing their friend so utterly void.

it was like she wasn’t even there. she was there physically, but her soul, her spark wasn’t there anymore. it was like she turned off a switch, and decided to put all her happiness to sleep.

she was kinda glad she had that exam to focus on, it helped her not focus on the gut wrenching feelings that were brought up every time he popped in her mind.

which was constantly. basically, the very second she wasn’t studying, there he was.

after closing the door, she went to the bathroom and took of her makeup, brushed her teeth and then went into her bedroom.

she took her dress off and picked her favourite sweatshirt and put it on.

the second the fabric went over her head, her nose was filled with a familiar fragrance.

his, clearly.

this was her favourite sweatshirt of his. she remembers how she would always steal it every time she was over at his place, saying that it smelled like him. he would always ask why she would need to feel the smell of his cologne from his sweatshirt when he was right there with her.

“i don’t know how to explain it. it’s just that even with you here, it doesn’t feel like enough.”

she hoped he understood what she meant. that she needed to feel him on her skin, all around her at all times. so when she was with him, snuggling in his arms, wearing his sweatshirt, she felt content. she was basking in his essence, and she couldn’t get enough. she felt the need to get closer to him, impossibly so, like she needed to crawl into his skin and stay there.

but when tour came around, and she turned down living at his home, he asked her to at least take his sweatshirt, so that — in some way — he was still with her.

and so she did, and she wore it religiously every night that he was on tour, getting sad when his cologne started wearing off.

even if the scent was not as strong, it was still strong enough to bring her back to those moments.

she could’ve taken it off, but she thinks that she needed that kind of comfort tonight. not in a “i’m going to reach out to him and beg him to take me back” way, no. she knew what they decided was right.

more in a “i miss who we were, i miss how i was when i was with you and if this brings me closer to being that person again, then please do that” way.

she was sure she hated him at some point.

the first two weeks after the breakup were the worst. she stayed locked away in her bedroom all day, ignoring phone calls and messages from her friends, and also from his band, that reached out so many times to make sure she was okay. she never got back to them.

she didn’t feel good about that, but she couldn’t bring herself to do that. she thought cutting ties with everyone he was involved with may help ease the pain.

and that may indeed work, if you didn’t date a famous international singer that’s all over social media, the news, newspapers, fashion magazines, basically on every information source you could think of.

she was sure she hated him at some capacity, because she didn’t recognise the person she was. not only after the breakup, no. even the person she became at the end of their relationship wasn’t someone she was used to be: constantly on edge, snappy, who argued all the time. she was never someone to let others walk all over her, of course, but she was never one to pick up a fight every single time. she was one to let go of things when they weren’t worth it.

which in a way, is kinda what she did in the end, isn’t it? she did let go, because it wasn’t worth it anymore.

she got into bed, hoping her brain would shut up and let her sleep. she took her phone and turned on the ringtone, so she could hear that their friends got home safely. she didn’t drink that night, knowing that alcohol and a broken heart do not mix well.

she sighed and rolled on her back. her bed seemed so big and empty now. she remembered how grumpy he would get every time they slept over at her house.

“i’m too long for this bed! my legs are half off of it.”

“not my fault you’re basically bigfoot, i can fit in it just right.”

“did you just call me bigfoot?”

“it’s a majestic creature. it’s a compliment.”

“yeah, a compliment my ass.”

he got on top of her and began tickling her, she was laughing and begging him to stop to let her breathe.

“take back what you said and maybe i’ll stop.”

“never!”

“then it’s your funeral.”

she laughed and he laughed with her, stopping when he saw she wasn’t inhaling enough air and didn’t want to hurt her. so he just looked at her, in awe of this beautiful girl who just managed to call him — a man who wasn’t unsure of his looks — bigfoot.

a big smile spread across her face as well, and she looked at him like he was the most beautiful sight she’d ever seen. and he was. he was a majestic creature, probably not an 8 feet hairy creature, but most definitely a creature straight from heaven.

if harry wasn’t an angel, sculpted by god himself, then she doesn’t know who could be.

that surprised her. she didn’t even let herself think about his name, hoping that somehow it would just slip out of her mind.

yeah, like that was going to happen.

she snuggled into the sweatshirt some more, inhaling the last bit of his scent off of it. it was weird, feeling a piece of him, but not being able to have him right there.

it wasn’t something new, though.

when he first left for tour, she couldn’t sleep. she was so used to fall asleep beside him, sometimes as the little spoon, most of the times as the big one, because she knew he liked being cuddled at night. and when he was gone, without the warmth of his body and nothing to hold on to during the night, she just couldn’t rest. the texts, phone and facetime calls helped her fill this void, but, of course, it wasn’t like having him there.

now she didn’t even have that. he didn’t try to call her, or text her after that night. for all she knows, he didn’t run after her. she doesn’t really know because she refused to look back while she was sprinting through the hotel hallway to the elevator, knowing that it was taking all of her strength to get away from him, and if she saw his face, she knew she would get back in a heartbeat.

but that wasn’t what they needed. they needed to stay away from each other, to figure out how to live without one another, and to get on with their own life. and maybe, if someday fate decided to bring them back onto the same path, they could start from there and try to build a life together. but until that day, this is what life had to be.

she saw her screen light up, and imagined one of her friends got home safely. she picked it up, and her eyes weren’t sure if they were seeing right.

why was mitch texting her at 2 in the morning?

she froze, the worst scenarios playing in her mind. something happened to harry, didn’t it? he was hurt or injured or dead and they were telling her because he’s literally gone so there was no other chance but that to say goodbye.

she knew she was out of her mind. couldn’t she just check the text and then decide if it was actually a life or death situation? mitch may have pressed on the wrong contact and texted her by mistake.

she unlocked her phone, trying with all her might not to dwell on her background picture, and read mitch’s text.

“hey, i know we haven’t heard from each other in a while. i hope you’re doing okay. i’m texting you just because i’m on the phone with a drunk harry and i’m afraid he’s going to call you after me. i wanted to give you a heads up if he does, so that you don’t completely spiral and think the worse has happened.”

oh, he did know her well.

that has happened before. once, when he was in america, he was out at some club, and she asked him to text her when he got back safely. she always wanted to know if the people she loved got home safe, and she would not change that.

so when she looked at her phone at 10:30am and saw that he didn’t text her yet (in LA it was 2:30am), she was kinda scared. all the worst scenarios started playing in her mind, where he was hurt somewhere and no one could help him, certainly not her, since she was a whole ocean away from him.

she started spiralling and called mitch, hoping he could answer her. when he also didn’t answer, she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

call her overdramatic, but imagine having the people you love more than life itself away from you and not knowing anything about their whereabouts and if they are okay, or if they ended up drunk in a ditch.

when her phone ringed about 40 minutes later, she was a crying mess. she picked it up and answered with a croaky voice.

“babyyyyyyyy, hi. i’m surprised you picked up! i’m back at the hotel, safe and sound.” his chirpy, drunkish voice came through the speaker and she took a deep breath, feeling like she finally was able to breathe.

“love, you there?”

“yeah H, i’m right here, sorry.” she answered, voice quivering.

“is everything okay? doesn’t sound like it.”

“it’s nothing H, don’t worry. just silly little thoughts, but it’s all okay now.”

“you were thinking that i ended up drunk on the side of the road, weren’t you?”

“no..?”

“god, i love you.”

of course, he had to tell everyone that story every time the band came over for dinner. it was just so funny to see her getting all embarrassed, but it made him giddy: having someone care so much for him really stroked his ego, and she knew that.

after staring at mitch’s text, and reminiscing, she decided to text him back.

“hi mitch, thank you for this. i’ll keep you posted if he does call me. i hope you and sarah are both doing great. thank you again.”

while texting him, her friends let her know that they were home and about to get into bed, so she texted them back wishing them goodnight.

now was the moment she was supposed to turn on her side, close her eyes and drift off.

then why wasn’t she doing that?

why was she expecting a call that may or may not come through?

especially, why was she expecting a call that was most definitely a drunk call?

but, as the Romans said, “in vino veritas”, “under the influence of wine, there is truth”. basically, a pretentious way of saying “a drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts”.

god, harry always rolled his eyes whenever she threw around phrases like those.

“you’re such a smart ass.”

“damn right i am. i’m not getting a degree in classics without throwing all this knowledge around at every chance i’ve got.”

“douche.”

“excuse you? it’s not my fault you didn’t even graduate high school.”

“you cheeky fucker!”

“don’t worry H, our kids will get your looks and my brain, they’ll be alright.”

“i mean... that still doesn’t sound like a compliment now, does it?”

she wouldn’t let herself think about the future they had planned. it broke her heart even remotely thinking about it. it’s something she’s deeply mourning, more than anything else that had to do with them and their relationship. that future that she’s never getting is what is making it impossible for her to move on. she’s stuck, but if she has to be honest, maybe she’s not ready to move on just yet.

she knew that after harry, many things wouldn’t be the same. she knew that kids weren’t in her future anymore. and that came as a shock to everyone she told this to, because if there was something she always said whenever she talked about the future — long before harry came along — it was her having three kids. so to hear that she went from three to zero was surprising.

“i’ll gladly be the best aunt in the world.”

that wasn’t a total lie, she wanted to see her sister become a mum more than anything, and having a little tiny nephew or niece to spoil rotten.

but her mum frowned when she told her that kids weren’t in her future anymore. not because she was opposed to her not having kids, but because of her sudden change of heart.

what she didn’t say to her mum, or anyone else for that matter, was that after having dreams about that kind of life with harry in it, she knew no one else could live up to those expectations. and if it didn’t work with him, who was everything she could’ve asked for in a partner, then it just wouldn’t work with anyone else.

she made her peace with it. kind of.

it still hurt her chest a bit, thinking about a tiny little baby, with pudgy arms and full soft cheeks, looking at her as if she’s their whole world. but she knew that she wouldn’t have that trust, that sense of familiarity with anyone else that wasn’t him. so, that dream of hers fizzled, just like their relationship did. and she let it go, knowing she was doing right by her hypothetical baby.

a buzzing came from her phone, she checked and it was still mitch.

“just hung up with him. he said he’s not going to call you, but he did mean to when he ended up calling me. again, just a heads up.”

she didn’t know how to feel. did she want him to call? did she not? was this going to be a drunk call where he curses her out? or a drunk call full of longing? but most of all, was she gonna answer him?

she decided to try and forget about this, he probably wouldn’t call. so she snuggled up in her bed, warm in her (well, his) sweatshirt, and tried to drift off.

that wasn’t happening anytime soon, it seemed like.

why did he have to do this? why couldn’t he just let her go? didn’t he know how hard it was for her? and why did mitch had to tell her anything? maybe harry wasn’t even going to call her, but thanks to mitch now she was going to think about it the whole night. not only about a possible call, but also about how he was. was he drinking a lot lately? god, she hoped it wasn’t because of her. she knew it probably was, but just the thought of him suffering because of her made her sick to her stomach. she knew the breakup was hard, being the other half of the relationship, but she thought she didn't do anything so self destructive. she hoped that this was a onetime situation, and that he didn’t get drunk every night. that would kill her.

she could feel herself getting more anxious by the second, thinking about all the worse scenarios. when she felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore, she turned and decided to text mitch and ask him to go over harry’s house and just check on him, if he didn’t do that already.

but just as she went to do that, her phone ringed. her heart skipped a bit. was she seeing right? was she already sound asleep and dreaming?

she didn’t know, all she could bring herself to do was press the green button on the screen, put the phone to her ear, and mutter a single word; or well, a letter.

“H?”

—

I KNOW, I KNOW YOU PROBABLY HATE ME, another cliffhanger! but don’t be afraid, part three is coming. i hope soon, but i do have an exam next week i have to finish preparing for, but i’ll see what i can do. please, share your thoughts about this second part, and tell me how you wish this story would end <3 love you all!

taglist: @thiyaabs @harryspirate @whipthemcurls @fragile-skin-and-bones @fulla02 @giveyourheartabreak-xx

check out part three

#my writing #harry styles #harry styles os #harry styles one shot #harry styles angst #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles imagine #harry x y/n #harry x reader

[redheadloverr]

Distracting him from work

gn!reader x diluc

cw: nsfw, praising, fluff

A/N : hey hey long time no see, sorry for any spelling / grammar mistakes I will fix this later lol. This will hopefully be first of many more fics to come!

“Luc!” You were ecstatic to hear your boyfriend coming home from work. You thought he was coming home earlier tonight but ended up staying at the tavern later than planned.

“Hi baby, I’m sorry I had to stay late. Did you eat already?” he says hugging and kissing you on the top of your head.

“I ate lunch but I havent eaten dinner yet. I was waiting for you, Luc.” you say letting him go as he takes off his coat and shoes.

“Hun, you should’ve ate earlier, I still have some work I have to do before I can end the night.” Diluc said in a sad tone.

“You should eat too though! You’ve had a long day at work and I understand you have to finish up some things for work but you should eat before you dive back into work Luc!” You say eagerly waiting for his response. Diluc told you he wouldn’t be able to make it back earlier today but you still wanted to wait for him and have dinner with him like you wanted. You weren’t gonna let him dive back into work that easily.

“Baby, I would love nothing more than to eat dinner with you but I should really get working.” He held your hands and kissed you once before embracing you in his arms. “You can bring some dinner upstairs though and we can eat in my office, would that make it up to you?” He said it so softly, it was for you and you only to hear. None of the maids were at home still so he had no reason to whisper it other than to show you how sincere he was and how much of a soft spot he had for you.

You nodded excitedly as he stopped embracing you, you were almost jumping up and down. He smiled softly and kissed the top of your head one last time before going up to his office without a word. You didn’t mind though, you knew how equally excited you two would be for this even without words. You quickly ran to the kitchen and made a simple dinner. It wasn’t fancy like the maids make your meals but it was enough for the two of you to enjoy. After you finished making your dinner you quickly walked back upstairs to find Diluc in his office. You knocked twice before opening his office door.

“Hi, baby.” He said with a smile. “You know you don’t have to knock, my love.” He chuckled softly.

“I know, I just wanted to.” You said chuckling as well.

You sat down in a chair he pulled up next to him. You watched as he moved some papers aside to make room for the food. You decided to share the food on one plate so he didn’t have to make much room. You both took a bite before continuing with your conversation.

“How was work?” You say eagerly waiting to hear his voice again. It was really something else, Diluc had the voice to make you go absolutely crazy. He knew it. He had to know. There’s no way he didn’t know how much you loved his voice. Diluc may not have been a eager talker but with you he opened up so much more than he did with anyone.

He talked about his day like normal, he told you about some wild customers, told you about the staff, about venti’s drunkard self. You could do nothing but stare and admire him. By the time he had recapped basically his whole day to you, you two were finished with dinner. He quickly got started on work again and you quietly went to go wash the now dirty dishes. After a few minutes you went back up stares to Diluc with some grape juice and water.

“I brought you some grape juice, luc.” You say quietly as to not disturb his focus.

He looked up at you, “Thank you my love. Here, come sit on my lap.”

You were shocked that Diluc would be the one to offer you such a request but you would never in a million years deny this specific request. Sitting on his lap was like sleeping with a warm sun dried blanket. He smelled amazing and sitting on his lap elevated his smell ten times more than usual. Plus who doesn’t love sitting on their partners lap? Especially while they did work, being in your partners vicinity, having your partner want you in their vicinity while they’re doing something important such as work is such a nice feeling. And you took advantage of it one thousand percent.

You quickly took a seat on his lap and snuggled up close to him. He loved it when you did it, and you knew full well that he did. You had your way with Diluc, you were the only person who could ever have their way with Diluc and you didn’t mind what so ever. And since you could have your way with him, you decided to tease him a little. You started humping his thigh a little to see if he’d react in any way, you were full on expecting him to tell you to knock it off or to tell you to get off his lap and sit next to him. To your surprise, he did neither. He let you hump him more, you could tell he wanted to see how far you’d take it and honestly you didn’t know why but it excited you.

You continued to watch him work and hump his thigh, he started smirking a little before you started humping his thigh with more passion. It felt good, humping his thigh when you should’ve been quiet and let him concentrate. Seeing how far he’d let you go and seeing what he’d do after he’s had enough. It was all so exciting, it made you want to hump him more and more.

“What are you doing, hun? Do you think you’re gonna get away with this?” He said whispering in a calm voice. “Look at me.” He wasn’t asking or begging. He was demanding. You stopped humping his leg and proceeded to look back at him. “Good, now get up.” You were a bit confused but you did as he said. You got up off his lap and looked at him confused. He started taking your clothes off, all of it. He didn’t let you keep just your shirt on, he ripped every single piece of clothing on your body off.

“Sit, facing me.” He pulled you onto him, back onto his thigh. “Go ahead.” He said smirking, eagerly waiting for you to continue humping his thigh. He looked you up and down, to your eyes, your mouth, your nipples, down to where you were sitting on his lap. You were stunned, you didn’t know what to do, he never acted like this before and even though it was a pretty big turn on you had no clue how to proceed.

“I said, go ahead.” he said in a stern tone that made you want to jump. You started humping his thigh again but this time you felt embarrassed. He was staring at you, while you were trying to hump him like a dog in heat. It was humiliating yet also so thrilling. You loved how he looked at you with those lustful eyes but you hated how lustful you probably looked to him. You couldn’t help it though, you wanted him to watch you, you wanted him to touch you, be lustful for you. And he was, and he did. He started small, grabbing your waist and guiding you as you humped back and fourth. Then, he moved just one hand to your nipple. Squeezing just hard enough to make you flinch. And then he moved both hands to you nipples, now full on making you scream every time he pinched them. You started to cry from the pain and excitement. He moved his hands back to your waist and started kissing your neck going down to your nipples. He sucked your left nipple, hard. He swirled his tongue around your nipple making your head spin and started pinching the right nipple as he did. You were starting to lose your grip on his thighs, making it harder for you to continue humping him. He didn’t care, he just moved from one nipple to the other.

He finally stopped playing with your nipples and looked at you. “Can I leave marks on you? Visible marks?” His question stunned you, a mixture of pleasure and a mixture of joy. You couldn’t respond other than just a weakly nod. He chuckled seeing how weak you were from just humpimg him and having him play with your nipples. He went ahead and started leaving hickies all over your chest and neck, you were too weak to even realize how many he had left on you and at the same time you didn’t really care. Everyone in mondstadt knew you two were a couple and you didn’t care if people looked at you funny. You enjoyed when he left hickies on you, and he enjoyed giving you hickies.

“My love,” he said taking you out of your trance, “let’s go to the bed, shall we.” He said it as if it were a question but you knew he was going to take you even if you didn’t want to. And so he did, he lifted you up, leaving your clothes and his paper work messily on the desk and the floor. He carried you to your bedroom which thankfully was right next to his office. He gently placed you down on the bed as you started eagerly tearing his pants off. “Love, I can take my own clothes off.” He says but you didn’t care. Your mind was mush, filled with nothing but lustful thoughts and you were just ready to have him absolutely destroy every part of you.

He took his shirt off as you took his pants off and then you started kissing him, it was a long and deep kiss, lustful and vicious. He started touching you as you two kissed, rubbing his member against you, just as eager to devour you. You two panted as you pulled away from the kiss.

“Im putting it in.” He doesn’t ask or wait for a response. He knows what’s his and he takes it. He was stern and rough, he was damn near basically shoving it in but you liked it this way. You moaned loudly, not even caring if people could hear you two or not. He grunted with every thrust, your moans only making him thrust deeper and harder. He wanted you, he needed you.

Your moans filled and echoed throughout the room, his grunts only being loud enough to be heard by you. Only you could hear how passionate and how different these grunts were compared to the rest. Only you could truly hear and understand that this feeling, these lustful thoughts and needs were a new experience. And you loved being the only one who knew. You tightened around him each time he goes harder, he loved it. He loved feeling how tight you were and he loved hearing you moan in pleasure each time he forced his way through your tight walls.

“Baby ngh… you’re so tight..” All you could do was moan in response. You couldn’t make out any words, you couldn’t even make any noises besides moans. He had turned you into mush, he made you a sex toy for his personal use.

“You’re doing so good baby.. take it all just like that” he said pounding into you harder, making you tighter.

“You’re doing a wonderful job taking my dick hun. Is this what you wanted earlier? Did you want me to bend you over my desk and pound into you this roughly?” You could tell he was also struggling to speak, every sentence was getting harder and harder for him to speak fully.

“Doing such a good job baby.��� He reached over to kiss you. “Doing a great job taking me in. Do you like it when I fuck you like this? Huh, baby?”

You couldn’t take it anymore, his teasing only turned you on more, making it almost impossible for you to not climax in that instant.

“I..ngh, I need to..ngh.. I need to cum..” You said practically whimpering to him.

“Go ahead baby. You can cum. Cum all over me baby, you can do it. Be a good little brat and cum for me.” he couldn’t stop panting, almost as if he was about to cum as well.

“I..” you said holding back tears. “I’m cumming” you say followed by a moan.

“Me too baby, I’m cumming too..” he said softly as he ran his hands down your body.

You were both panting. Him still being inside you, reached down and kissed you. It wasn’t a lustful kiss, it was passionate and overwhelming with genuine affection. “You did a good job baby. I’m sorry if I was too rough.” He says running his thumb along your lips. “You weren’t.” You reassured him, pulling him back in for another kiss.

“We should probably go take a shower now.” He says looking at you softly. You giggled at him, “We should, shouldn’t we?” Both of you now laughing softly. He plants a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll go get the water running.” He says before kissing you one last time and going to the bathroom. You lay there, ready to go to bed any second now.

Diluc gently wakes you before telling you the bath is ready. The two of you help each other sleepily wash of that night’s event. Diluc hands you your pair of pj’s before grabbing his own. You two quickly change and proceed to walk back over to your bed and sleepily getting under the blanket together. Diluc turns off his nightstand lamp, making the room go pitch black. He goes to cuddle you up close to him before kissing your forehead. “Goodnight my love, sweet dreams.” You hear as you drift off into sleep.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin diluc x reader #genshin diluc #genshin impact diluc #genshin x reader #diluc x you #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x y/n #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc smut #diluc x reader #genshin impact diluc x reader #diluc genshin x reader #diluc genshin impact

[mintchoccy]

"she came home, but at what cost?"

NMIXX LILY MORROW AND IVE NAOI!REI

(tags: messed up quickie, kinda NTR, futa!Rei)

okay first of all, this will be the first of many quickies I will write in the future (jinx!). and also, shout out to this mf who pushed me to wrote this piece. and agaiiiiiinnn, last one, this is inspired from this one heck of a piece by smitey. if you haven't read it, go check it out!

Ever since both you and Lily have agreed to give her space after what happened last year, you decided to give yourself also time to compose for the future for the both of you. However, an unexpected encounter with your childhood/first love, Naoi Rei didn't gave up catching up with you and the time you both missed due to the roads the both of you chose to walk. You decided to settle down and be a coach in a decorated university while Rei become an idol.

But the thing between you and Rei is, Rei has additional organ attached to her, and it drives you crazy every night. Every night the both of you began to hang out, she dumped her hot substance inside of you, and you have no choice but to take every load she dropped both on your ass and to your mouth. Like tonight, the both of you decided to stay the night in your apartment.

*one message from My Koala: "Hoonie, I'll drop by to your place. I missed you so much. I'll bring your favorite tteobokki!"

Looking at the phone, you can't focus at the moment Rei is balls deep in your ass. "Yes Hoonie, take my fucking cock! I know if Lily came back, you'll gonna miss this big cock", she teased. Maybe if this didn't happened way too fast, you hope this thing wouldn't happen.

Temptation and her towering sword was enough to knock your guard down, and be submissive anything she wants you to do.

"That's right baby, just take it! my balls are now ready to blow!" she exclaimed. At the same time, an unwanted guest in this hour opened the door of your apartment. Silence then started to take over as Lily began to walk in the living room.

"Jeonghoon? are you there? I called you multiple times but you weren't answering." she shouted. she checks the kitchen, the bathroom but she found nothing. However, there's one more room she haven't checked yet. But Rei began to move her hips again and again, as her orgasm is close. Beads of sweat and a million "hail marys" is all you can do while she unloads her load inside your ass. One knock, or even a click of the knob, it's all over.

Opening the door, Lily was shocked at what she sees: her beloved boyfriend getting dicked down by a girl with a genetically inborn cock. With no hesitations, she walks closer to you. Looking at your position, you don't know if she is amused or disgusted on the scenario. But what comes next, is something you didn't expect to say from your girlfriend.

"Look at you, getting dicked down, are you that really needy? You turn on another cock but this time, she is the one who cummed inside of you?" Lily said, pointing at Rei. Rei however, was flabbergasted. She didn't believe you first that you have a relationship with an idol, but now she saw it now, it shrunk her pride, and pull out her cock from your freshly fucked hole, leaking with her cum.

"Oh what is this?" Lily then looked at your asshole, leaking by Rei's cum. Slapping your ass, you can't help but to hold the sting. You don't know, but Lily may be turned on at she sees, but are you ready to face the next scenario?

(A/N: you have the power either you want to let Lily join the party or watch you getting pounded again until Rei cums again inside of your ass. see you in my next works!)

#nmixx smut #lily morrow #ive smut #naoi rei #kpop smut

[deadpoolgirl23]

Scoundrel and princess

Dick grayson x reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 1,629

Authors note: I don't even know if this is good, I literally just finished watched Empire strikes back and this popped into my head. I'm sorry if this is terrible.

First person pov:

It was a calm night in the tower everyone was in the living room ready for annual movie night that happened every Thursday after Gar made the notion that "we should all should spend more time together" and Dick agreed.

Which leads us back to the living room. Currently me and Rachel are trying to decide what movie to put on. "Why don't we watch Empire strikes back?" I ask Rachel as she's still scrolling through the thousands of titles, " didnt we just watch star wars last week?" "Yeah but that was a new hope! We can't just start the original trilogy without finishing it!" I try to entice her to side with me but all I am met with is silence and a squint in her eyes seeing that she is contemplating. Gar had decided that last Thursday we should watch A New Hope so Konner could quote on quote "be whole". As a advid nerd I immediately said yes and with the whole group not caring that is what we watched.

I normally would have enjoyed watching Star Wars, being able to quote it word for word in my head with the occasional slip, but I wasn't able to out of the corner of my eye all I could focus on was the way that Dick and Kory sat close together as he whispered in her ear what was happening in the movie to make sense to her as she would continously question the movie.

It sucked having to see that and hear the little laughs that would come out of her mouth anytime Dick made a joke or the way that he would run his hand up and down her arm when they quited down. They claim to be just friends, but it just never looked that way and to be stuck not being able to tell him how I feel hurts even worse than any punch or knife thrown at me.

" Okay fine we can continue star wars, but it's just because I want to see more of luke skywalker" Rachel finally states, "really! And I happen to be more of han solo girl myself" I replied back biting my lip to hide the smile threatening to come across my lips. "Of course you are" she replies back winking, Rachel is the only one to know about my crush on Dick. She had read my thoughts one time when I got hit badly while out on a mission, she was trying to see if I was stable but came across all my thoughts about the bird brain. I was just lucky she never said anything about what she saw to anyone, but now she just teases me about it any chance she can get.

"Rachhh, let's just put the movie on and tell the others" I whine while changing the subject getting up to tell Konner, Krypto and Tim what we chose, while goes to get Gar, Dick and Kory.

I head back to the living room but make a quick stop at the kitchen grabbing some soda and popcorn to snack on while the movie plays, "hopefully this can distract me enough to tonight" I say to myself in my head. Carrying all the junk in my arms I place down on the table moving to get settled in my spot on the couch, the corner that's covered in a blue and grey flannel blanket that is only ever used by me when I'm sitting there. I close my eyes at the warm the blanket brings and open then when I hear the sounds of foot steps and voices fill the air.

As everyone takes their place in their normal spots I notice that Dick instant sitting besides Kory but is actually making his way towards me. I look over to the spot he's been sitting in for the past couple of weeks and see that Gar and Rachel have taken it over, Rachel turns her towards me and we make eye contact, she winks at me and shifts her head back towards Gar.

"Hey is it okay if I sit here?" The voice I've grown to love asks me, "Yeah sure go ahead" smiling waiting for him to take the seat. As he sits my heart begins to flutter like crazy, I know that Konner and Krypto can probably hear it and are confused as to why it sounds like I'm gonna have a heart attack but I can't find myself to care. He could have sat on the floor with Kory and Konner but he chose to sit next to me.

"Thanks, I was not going to be able to sit down there and actually enjoy the movie" " I get, that's why I got here first, you can never trust one of them to not take your seat" I reply which earns a playful "hey" from Gar and causes Dick to smile.

We start the movie after that, everyone gets comfortable and entranced into the movie as the opening sequence begins but instead of just reading the words Gar starts to them allowed in a funny voice that you can't help but laugh at. Rachel gets him to quiet down after a few jabs to ribs with elbow.

Everyone is quiet after the movie has been playing for a little bit, and this time I don't have to hear Kory and Dick laughing to eachother the entire time which feels nice. Although I still have to listen to myself repeat the words and the fluttering heart beat that hasn't slowed since Dick sat.

When Han and Leia begin to argue I have to hold myself back from whispering the scene, I did begin to do it without realizing and it earn a glance from Dick which made me stop immediately, but he leaned down to whisper in my ear the line Han said next "afraid i was gonna leave without a goodbye kiss?" . I swear if I hadn't been blushing already I was turned into a tomato right in that moment. I had to shake myself back into reality, but it didn't stop the smiled that appeared on my face.

I decided that instead of him doing it to me first again I was going to, I waited until Han and Leia were in the millennium falcon to say Leias line quiet enough in his ear "when you aren't acting like a scoundrel" and he didn't waste a second to repeat Hans line to me and we went back and forth, but when he got to last line he only looked down at my lips but never made a move. In a more hushed voice than the other lines he says " you like me cause I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life" breaking the entranced look on his face to meet my eyes and we don't move. The sound of the movie eventually snaps our attention back to it, but this time Dick doesn't just go back to sitting normal he puts his arm around me pulling me closer to him.

I've seen him put his arm around Kory multiple times when we watch movies, but this feels different. He's never pulled her close into him like this. I don't let myself over think it to much as I focus back into the movie taking one last look at him before I lay my head on shoulder. I feel a slight jump from him as if he's shocked I actually did it.

None of the others around us have said anything to us either they don't care or they haven't heard us.

We settle back down and continue the movie not saying another line to eachother until the end when he decides to grab my hand. I look up at him to see if he's waiting for my response but his gaze is on the tv. So I turn my head back and squeeze his hand in response

It's the Carbonite scene, it always crushes my heart but also makes me smile widely. Playing with Dicks fingers the scene begins to escalate when Chewie starts to fight the stroom troopers. I know this scene inside and out and I know that if I repeat the line I so desperately want to it will be towards the man holding in his arms.

I can't even catch myself before I say Leias line as she does " I love you", I don't expect any remarks from him but I hear the two little words said back to me everything around me feels to have stopped.

"I know".

This time it's my turn to be shocked, Dick has turned his head towards me eyes looking down at lips and back up to my eyes doing that a couple more times before we both move in at the same time and finally kiss. I thought that when he said Hans line that the room stopped moving but with the way his soft lips are moving against mime I definitely have to say I am on cloud 9.

We break apart after a minute to reclaim oxygen and to look at eachother, but what we don't realize is the yells and "finally's" that come from everyone.

" I've been wanting to do that for a while" Dick states, "me too" I say moving to hide my face into his neck so I don't have to face the others, especially Rachel.

Dick laughs and wraps his arms around me. The others finally go back to the movie but I can't I finally got what I have wanted for so long and now I know he wanted me too.

I hear one final whisper from him as he holds me "I love you princess".

" I love you too scoundrel".

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson imagine #titans imagine

[spaceoddball1969]

Falling for the Freak - Eddie Munson Fix-It Fic - Chapter 23

Hi hi! OH my gosh today was grand. I started moving into my apartment today. I did it all on my own so I could see it by myself for the first time. It is gorgeous. It’s literally nothing special but it is mine and I love it so much. I don’t even have a bed yet in there but every part of me wanted to just stay there tonight. I was walking through the bedrooms trying to decide which one I wanted to claim as my own and I went into one and the energy in this room felt so good. I didn’t think I would care that much about a bedroom, but ooh boy this room felt so special. It felt like a room where good things happen. And it has a window that looks out at the cutest little street and a bathroom straight up connected to it which is amazing. I am so excited to start living there full time. It just feels so right. Also, this is really weird but a year ago on this day my ex asked me to be his girlfriend and now I’m moving into my first apartment. Maybe August 5th is meant to be a big day in my life. Weird.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: We’re going to do a little time jump. Nothing crazy, but at least enough to the point where Eddie and the reader are mostly healed from their Upside Down wounds. After getting freed and caught up on school work, Eddie and the reader spend some much deserved down time. It’s fairly short but today was real long for me so I’m gonna keep it brief tonight. It’s a simple fluffy chapter. I hope you enjoy!

WARNINGS: FLUFF - literally just all the fluff. 

Chapter 23

It had been a few weeks since we had stopped Vecna from literally destroying Hawkins. The story about Jason went over without too many eyebrows getting raised. It was known to the town that Jason had gone a little haywire that week of spring break and most people bought it. The biggest disbelievers were his parents - of course - because they couldn’t fathom how their son could have been so cruel. However, most people seemed to roll with it and soon enough people were saying things like “I always knew there was something off about him,” and “He seemed like such a normal kids. Shows you can never really know what someone is thinking,” 

Unfortunately it didn’t make things much easier for Eddie. People were still wary around him, even though he had been declared innocent. It probably didn’t help that this declaration was made by the recently returned from the dead police chief. Hopper had told the town some story about how he wasn’t dead, but none of that really matttered to me. 

All that mattered was getting Eddie freed and healthy again. In the weeks after spring break, he had been taking his school work at home. His uncle would pick up assignments for him at the high school and bring them to him. In order to ensure that Eddie actually did his work, I spent most of my evenings at his trailer. I had to take time off work because after being nearly torn to shreds by demobats, standing on my feet all day renting movies didn’t seem like a great way to spend my time. I took the free time that I now had to help Eddie. And to catch up on my own school work. 

It was difficult to maintain my focus on my work when I had been traumatized by the events of spring break. I felt my dedication to school slipping and fought to keep it up. Luckily my professors were understanding and cut me some slack on due dates and things of that nature.

---

One particularly Friday nice afternoon, I had stopped by the grocery store after class and picked up supplies for grilled cheese and some canned tomato soup. Spring seemed to have sprung in Hawkins within the last week and suddenly everyone was wearing shorts and T-shirts. It wasn’t that warm, but after months of the could, a little sun felt like a drop of heaven.

I biked over to Forrest Hill and climbed the wooden steps to Eddie’s trailer. I knocked and Wayne opened the door. He greeted me with a smile and let me in. I had gotten to know Wayne quite well in the last few weeks. He was incredibly kind and hard working. He also truly loved Eddie. 

“I thought I would make us all some dinner,” I said, holding up the bags of food.

“Oh that’s sweet of you,” Wayne said. “But I’m getting ready to be on my way to work. I’m sure my nephew would appreciate the food though,”

“That’s too bad,” I said. “It’s always nice when you can join us for a little while,”

“You’re too kind, Miss Y/LN,” Wayne said. He had never called me by my first name. It seemed old fashioned but I thought it was cute.

Eddie stepped out of his bedroom then. He was wearing black cotton sleep pants and his new Hellfire shirt. He had to make a new one after the one he wore into the Upside Down got ruined. Eddie smiled when he saw me and planted a kiss on my cheek.

“Hey there,” he said, “I thought I heard you out here,”

“Ok Ed, I’m off to work, but you better be on your best behavior. This young lady just brought you dinner,” Wayne said. 

“Will do, sir,” Eddie said saluting his uncle.

Wayne smirked and stepped out the front door. Eddie turned to me with a soft smile on his face. “You brought me dinner?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah,” I said. “I was going to make us grilled cheese and tomato soup,” 

Eddie smiled and gave me a kiss. “Thank you,” he said.

“You’re welcome,” I said.

---

I got to work cooking the sandwiches while Eddie put some music on his stereo. I stood at the stove watching the sandwiches cook when Eddie wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder.

“Those look amazing,” he said. 

“Thank you,” I said, “I try my best,”

“Well your best is amazing,” Eddie said. “You’re amazing,”

“Oh my gosh shut up,” I chuckled. “Where is all this coming from?”

“You’ve done so much for me in these last few weeks,” Eddie said, kissing my cheek. “I just want you to know how much I appreciate it,”

“I know you appreciate it,” I said. 

“Good,” Eddie said. “Because I really don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you,”

“Never,” I said. “I like taking care of you,”

“Yeah?” Eddie asked, a small laugh rumbling through his ribs.

“Yes,” I said. “How very domestic of me,” I laughed.

Eddie kissed my cheek again and then started trailing kisses down my neck. It made my toes curl but I had to keep my wits about me.

“Whoa, hey,” I said. “I have an open flame in front of me and sandwiches to cook. You hold back on all that funny business for now,”

Eddie moaned and dropped his head onto my shoulder. “Sandwiches can wait,” he said. “Can’t they?”

“Not when they’re already cooking, baby,” I laughed. “Eat your food and we’ll see what comes next, ok?”

“We’ll see what comes next?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “We’ll see how I decide to take care of you after we eat.”

“Or I could take care of you for a while,” Eddie said, kissing my neck again.

“Oh wow you have to not do that while I’m cooking,” I said. “Unless you want to burn down your uncle’s house,”

“Might be worth it,” Eddie said pressing another wet kiss on my neck.

“Seriously,” I said. One of the sandwiches was done and I loaded it up on plate for him. “Here’s your sandwich, take some soup and eat,”

We sat and ate our food in eager silence. Then Eddie looked up at me with a curious expression on his face. 

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he said.

“What?” I asked. again.

“Seriously, it’s nothing,” Eddie replied.

“Eddie,” I said. “I saved the world with you, you have to tell me why you just looked at me like that,”

Eddie stared at me for another moment as if he was trying to size me up. He sighed. “What’re your thoughts on prom?”

“What?” I asked.

“You know, prom, the big dance,” Eddie said. “Totally lame or like something fun?”

“I don’t know, I guess it depends on who you’re with,” I said.

“What if you were with me?” he asked.

“I would have fun anywhere if I was with you,” I said. “You know, except for an eternally dark alternate universe.”

“So you’re saying you’d go to prom if it was with me,” Eddie said.

“Eddie, are you asking me to prom?” I asked.

“Possibly?” he said, uncertainly.

“You want to go to prom?” I asked.

“Maybe,” he said. “I haven’t for the last two years, and I don’t know, I thought it might be fun if we went together. We could get all dressed up and go dance to shitty music with a bunch of people younger than us that all kind of think I murdered three of our classmates. Now that I think about it, it’s probably not a good idea,”

I took his hand in mine. “Eddie, if you want to take me to your senior prom then there’s nothing else I’d rather do. I’d be honored to be your date. And who cares what the others think? We’ll have fun with each other. And I won’t lie, I would love to see you all dressed up,”

“Oh yeah?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “Can’t beat a man in a good suit,”

“You’d really go to prom with me?” he asked.

“Absolutely,” I said. 

“Cool,” Eddie said. “Because I already asked my uncle to buy the tickets,”

I couldn’t help but smile at him. He was perfect. He was literally just perfect. 

Falling for the Freak Taglist:

@dilophosaurusatenewman @efvyqrs @babeyglo @aestaethicvante @kbakery @aereth @livlaughquinn @kaqua @starryeyedkoko @paintballkid711 @cryuki-patootie @lorrainlikesprivacy @possiblyexisting @beepisbeep

Previous Chapter: Chapter 22

#Eddie Munson #Eddie Munson fluff #Falling for the Freak #Chapter 23 #Eddie munson fix-it fic #Eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #female reader #it's short but it's fluffy

[insanechayne]

Things to tell Chandler:

~7/28 (12am-6am)

Apparently we have a doorbell somewhere in the ER? I heard it chime but idk who pushed it or where the button is or where the sound came from

My TikTok is kinda boring tonight, not as many fun videos as usual. But I did find one guy that takes suggestions of drinks to carbonate (really awful stuff, like certain types of alcohol or straight up milk) and then he tries them for everyone to see. His reactions are hilarious. Of course he’s from fucking Alabama. Your state is very well represented haha. But I’ve also seen a lot of videos of people dressing up as horror movie villains (like Michael Myers/Ghostface/etc.) and doing silly dances and shit like that, which is just fun

Earlier when Bree was here she was looking for something to show me on her phone and things were quiet for a moment, and through the closed door between us and the nurse’s station we hear Erika just saying “I just want to string profanities!” We busted up laughing so hard. I still don’t know what she was going on about with that

I don’t know if this is actually popular in some way, or if I happened to stumble upon it by being mentally ill, but there’s this specific niche of guys on TikTok (well I actually think it’s only 2 guys, literally) that have been making gay country songs. And I mean very graphic, full of gay sex country songs. But they’re also really good! These guys have a good sound and rhyming ability, so the whole thing is just fucking crazy.

~7/28 (3pm-12am)

Took mom to dinner, we went to this place called Horizon View Restaurant. Food was ok, a bit pricey for the quality. It’s one of those “it’s ok for Moab” type places. Unfortunately that’s most of what’s out here. Nothing is really great or stands out much. Like it’s not bad, it’s just not the standard of quality we’re used to coming from California. But it was still nice to go out for dinner with her. I like being around my mom and talking to her, we have a pretty good relationship despite the issues from my childhood. And I think it helped her to destress a bit, just to be able to go out and talk about all the nonsense and all that. I’ve got leftovers for dinner tonight, and I remembered to bring a cookie from home, so that’s nice. And I bought food for her to take home to my stepdad. She says “oh it’s too much, you didn’t have to buy Robert’s food too, let me send you money” and she just needs to stop 😅 Money will come and go, we only got one life so we may as well enjoy some of it when we can. And of course I had to buy food for Robert, he’s my stepdad and he was busy doing yard work and couldn’t come with us, so he deserves something too. But then we went to get Starbucks and she bought mine there, so it evened out 😂

Work is nice and quiet at the moment. It’s weird though, my doctor is in the ER here. I haven’t actually seen her or gone to her room or whatever, just see her on the board list of all the patients. I hope she’s alright. I’ll talk to her when she goes to leave, I’m sure.

Decided to read an actual book while also working through the short stories book. I think that’ll be manageable, reading one big story and then if I’m bored or tired I can go on to the smaller ones. Hopefully that works out, cause I do want to get through the short stories, but I’m not enjoying it enough to focus solely on them. But the book I grabbed to start was one I just bought when I was in junction, and it’s very highly rated/recommended on TikTok and in the horror community, and I’ve been wanting to read it for a really long time. The plot sounds pretty interesting so I’m very hopeful for it being good. And I think it has pictures, too!

I’m supposed to watch this documentary movie for therapy, something about this one therapist’s theories about mental health or whatever. I keep putting it off, but it’s only like an hour and a half, so I should probably get to it soon. But at the same time one of my favorite shows recently premiered their 5th season, and I’m 3-4 episodes behind, so I wanna get caught up on that too. I technically have plenty of time, but it’s like I just can’t focus these days. I gotta try to get back into all this, maybe just watch stuff little by little. Do 10-15 minutes at a time and then take a break if I have to, or if I feel like I’m drifting while watching. I don’t know.

Urgent Care is pissing me off lately. I think they’ve got some new people down there, maybe people doing training for licenses or whatever, getting experience and all that. And I think that’s great and everything, but half the time they won’t call us before just bringing a patient down to check in with ER. A lot of the time they’re bringing us the most ridiculous shit as it is, things that could definitely be taken care of in UC, so that’s already frustrating for everyone. But lately there’s this one guy who just wheels patients down to me to be checked in and nobody ever calls beforehand or anything, which they’re supposed to do. I know it seems like a small thing, and it kinda is, but the point of them calling let’s me alert my nurses and get a room/chart prepped for the patient while they’re being brought down. And it gives them a feel for what they’re going to be working with, which can dictate what room to put them in or if they’ll need to wait because something more serious is here, stuff like that. This one guy always brings down people who decided not to actually check in to UC, too, which is weird to me. I get maybe someone doesn’t know where to go to get better care, or they’re worried about insurance and copays and all that, but if they decide not to check in to UC and come to ER instead then they can (usually) just walk on over to where we are. Especially if they parked in front, since our lot is in back, and they probably won’t want to walk so far after they get discharged here. I don’t know, it’s not really a big deal, it’s just annoying me lately. Mostly I just want them to call and give me a heads up that someone is coming, regardless of whether or not that person actually checked into UC. But I also don’t want to be rude to this guy who’s trying his best and hasn’t been here very long. He’s always a little nervous/shy trying to give me report on the patient anyway, so I feel bad and want to just be nice. Getting upset with him won’t help the situation for any of us, you know?

Have you ever started a book that you knew immediately you were going to love? A book that felt specifically For You, where so many little details pique your interest and feel like they were written just for you to read them? That’s how I feel about the book I just started. It’s called Hidden Pictures, and yes there are actual pictures in the book! But all these little details are pinging in my brain as I was reading the first chapter, and the author’s style has a very natural and organic feel to it, flows very well. I can’t wait to get deeper into this book, cause so far it reads great.

We got a call from a tour guide saying he was going to bring someone in who wasn’t feeling well in their group, but that she doesn’t speak any English and has a foreign insurance. Not really a big deal overall, but our process for foreign patients is screwed up and nothing is really set in place or fixed. So we’re supposed to charge them after their visit, give them a receipt, and then they call their insurance and the insurance will reimburse them. Which would all be fine and dandy except we still have no way to put charges into the system to see how much they cost, do a total, enter the codes in for billing, or anything else. I don’t even know if that stuff is set up in Meditech yet. We have a “cash drawer” in Meditech that we can open and close and apparently charge things to, or collect money in, but nothing else is set up. So how can I complete this process and get the patient charged and all that if we have nothing set up and no procedures in place? Management keeps saying they’ll fix this and get us a set process, but of course nothing happens. But if we don’t do this shit then I bet you they’ll be like “why wasn’t the patient charged at discharge?” Just frustrating. Most I can do is have the nurses fill out paper charge sheets, which I can then scan and email to my boss who can figure it out with billing. Hopefully that’ll be good enough. I’ll have to mention the fact that there’s no way to put charges in or anything still, too. Ugh.

A lady came in saying she may have been gently bitten or scratched by a bat. Simple procedure, we just check them in for a rabies vaccine basically. But the interesting part of this story is that her husband caught the bat and they put it in a little glass jar and she’s convinced she needs to turn it over to the health department to check it for rabies. Krissy wouldn’t let them bring it into the hospital, for good reason. She kept telling them to let it go outside, but the lady kept saying she wanted to keep it. So her husband just went to put the jar and bat back in their car. Wild times

~7/29 (12am-8am)

So that weird call I got earlier about the foreign patient ended up not coming in, at first. The guy said they’d be getting a ride or an Uber or something but then never showed up. Couple hours later we got an ambulance page for someone who sounded like this patient, but then within like ten minutes dispatch said the ambulance was then cancelled. So we all kind of ignore it for a while, until about 2:30am when we get another page for that same patient, apparently this time they want to come in to the hospital for sure. So they get here and everything is fine, and I can hear the nurses talking about the situation, and apparently there was some kind of miscommunication all those hours earlier with dispatch and EMS, somehow they got the idea that the patient didn’t want to come in before or was going to come in by their own vehicle. So basically this patient was waiting in the lobby of their hotel for hours and hours for this ambulance that obviously never showed up until they decided to call for it again. If that were anyone other than a foreign patient that would be a huge lawsuit against EMS. But since she’s from out of the country I feel like she won’t even think to try to pursue anything, since it’d be a hassle for her. Which is really lucky for them. Just a terrible situation and we all feel awful for this patient having to suffer for so long

It’s crazy, we have no patients admitted on the main floor right now. I don’t know if that’s ever happened before, certainly not while I’ve worked here. I mean it’s great for the community and people not being so severely sick/hurt, but still very odd overall. So you got Med Surg nurses coming over here to talk and hang out (and sometimes jump in to help with patients) because they’re bored. Just got people sitting around doing fuck all over there. I mean truthfully that’s what I do, too, but still at least with my job there’s always the possibility that I’ll have to jump into action and actually do some work. Wild times we’re in here

~7/29 (3pm-12am)

A patient’s visitor had to come in and out a few times, but they were pretty nice, and I have the button now so I didn’t mind. They brought a little doggie in who was super sweet and cute. He held the dog up to the glass at my desk so I could wiggle my fingers under our little slide-through opening, and doggie leaned down to lick my finger 🥰 Anyhow, dude was finally leaving for good and as he was walking by he said he really loved my hair color, which was so nice to hear.

~7/30 (12am-9am)

Idk what all is going on with dispatch right now. Sometimes it’s hilarious to hear what they’re saying over the radios, though, since our police scanner picks everything up. So here’s a snippet I heard while scrolling TikTok earlier: Person A “Ohhh don’t say that out loud.” Person B “we’re all just trying to be more like you, sir.” Person C “L O L” (like they literally said it like ‘ell oh ell’ I’m not kidding)

I’m quite tired, and in my sleepy state I had a rather hilarious vision come to me. I don’t know what the future holds, but should I ever get married (whether to Bree or someone else) then obviously you’re gonna be one of my bridesmaids. We can think of a different title for the position, but I’m still absolutely going to put you in a dress like my other girls. Just for the actual ceremony, and just for the joke of it. It’s something I used to talk about doing with a different male friend of mine years and years ago (he’s gay, and we’re no longer friends, but he always rebutted by saying he’d make me wear a tux to be his groomsman, and I always agreed). So I got an image of you in a lovely satin, emerald green dress, strapless because that’s funnier, maybe some ruffle at the hemline? Holding a lovely bouquet of flowers, of course. Can you imagine? Ohh gave me a good laugh, so I hope it made you laugh too 😋

~7/30 (6pm-12am)

Since Bree and I became official I decided to just bite the bullet and tell dad right away so that I could get it over with. He took it better than I expected, actually. No yelling or screaming or anything like that. Of course I still got a bit of a lecture about it being a sin and how he’s going to pray for me everyday and shit like that. I think he took it personal in some way, saying stuff like “it makes me feel like I didn’t raise you right”, as if being gay is so horrendous, like I’m a murderer or something 🙄 but the whole thing only took about 15 minutes, he was quiet and calm, and then it was over. We agreed to just not talk about it, which is fine by me cause I really don’t care what he thinks anyway. But of course he says that he had a feeling and kind of knew anyway when she’d been over the other day (when we did the day trip to Cortez, she came inside briefly to meet/pet Jess). So if he wants to think he’s so special and observant and knew about us already then whatever, I’ll let him have that. I’m just glad it’s done with and I don’t have to keep worrying about it anymore 😮‍💨

We watched Venom 2: Let There Be Carnage, and that was pretty fun. The Venom movies have kind of a cheesy feel to them, very easy to watch and you don’t have to focus super intently, so even though I was kinda tired I was still able to enjoy it. I do love those big, ridiculous CGI fights, like in Deadpool 2 when Juggernaut fights Colossus, or pretty much everything in Transformers movies ha. So if you haven’t watched the Venom movies I’d definitely recommend them, they’re very fun 😊

~7/31 (7am-12am)

Woke up off and on through the night, couldn’t seem to get very comfortable, and damn cramps in my calf kept waking me up. I woke up for a little while around 7am, moved to the big recliner, took about an hour to fall asleep again, then I was mostly out around noon. Somehow I’m still a little tired 😅 but I’ve got a full day to just do nothing and relax by myself and not even leave the house, so I’m very pleased with that

I saw that the theatre in Moab now has Haunted Mansion, and they’re still playing the Barbie movie. So depending on showtimes this weekend, I asked Bree on a double movie date on Saturday, hopefully that’ll all work out nicely. I also asked my mom about having Bree over for dinner sometime, have my stepdad cook for us. She said it would be a nice idea so we’ll talk to Robert about that this week and see when we can plan something out 😊

Since we became official yesterday, Bree and I were talking about family’s reactions, cause I wanted to let her know about telling my dad. Her family is certainly much more supportive, and I’ve already met her parents since things just worked out that way with the Cortez trip and everything, and they’re both super sweet. So she said they were happy for us, and that her mom was like “I knew it!” 😂 And she said her grandma wants to meet me, so I’ll have to come over for dinner at her house sometime (Bree lives with her grandma and is a part-time caretaker, like how I am for my dad), which is why I then thought about having Bree over to mom and stepdad’s. But the response from almost everyone has been very positive and congratulatory, which is kind of a relief to me.

Bree already said yes to the movie date idea, that was quick 😂 I’ll have to wait for the theatre to post showtimes for Saturday, but the plan so far is to go see Barbie and Haunted Mansion, then go out for dinner after the movies. One of us will pay for movies and popcorn/snacks, the other will pay for dinner, and it all works out great ☺️ this’ll be a fun day, I’m super excited for those movies, but it’ll also be the longest date we’ve been able to have so far and really spend more time with each other, since most often we only have an hour or two because of our schedules. So I’ll write up an update for you after that takes place haha

I have a screenshot to go along with this, cause I think it’s cute, but Bree and I made matching posts on Facebook to announce our relationship 💖 I’ll send the pic at some other point in time, but didn’t want to forget to tell you about it

Going back to the date for a minute, cause I’m a bit excited about it, to say the least. I’ve been thinking about it all day, planning things out (I’m very Type A and need to plan everything down to the last detail basically). I’ve already got my outfit decided on, and a makeup look to go with it. I know I don’t need to like dress up or anything, and she doesn’t either, but it’s like… I kinda wanna impress her a little bit, you know? I know that’s probably kind of silly, since we’re already together and everything, but still. Plus then if we decide to take pictures together I’ll look good for them 😅😂

This whole relationship thing is a little crazy to me, really. I’m still kind of wrapping my head around all of it and trying to get it to set in. I’m just so awestruck all the time, thinking to myself “I have a girlfriend”, and it’s so brand new and it makes me feel tingly when I do think about it. And just how easy it’s been and everything, how we fell into it so naturally, and we both are pretty in tune with each other and are on the same level of intensity about things. I have to keep reminding myself that she likes me, and she already has seen me at times where I wasn’t at my best (like coming to work in pajamas, no makeup, hair up, tired as shit, basically how I am at least once or twice in my workweek anyway ha), and that never changed her perception of me. I still get stuck sometimes, thinking to myself that she can do better and things like that, you know how my anxiety can get. But I’ve found it a lot easier to pull myself away from those thoughts with her, since she did like me for a long time before I got the courage up to ask her out. And even that I can’t believe. Someone liked me? When they saw all the weird, not great parts of me? When I wasn’t wearing makeup or trying to look my best? Someone *still* likes me?? Someone wants to be with me despite all of that?? That’s what’s crazy to me. That’s what I can’t wrap my head around sometimes and I have to keep trying to get it to set in. And her and I have talked about some of this, not necessarily to this level, but I did explain to her that I get really bad anxiety and need a lot of reassurance, that I’ll probably ask her sometimes about still wanting to be with me, etc., and she’s ok with all of that. She has similar issues, and we both know I’m very overbearing in telling someone how much I care about them, so it won’t exactly be hard for me to shower her with kind words and assurances and all of that. It’s funny, when we were just friends I used to say that “we have the same ADHD, and we’re the same type of gay.” Should have taken that as a sigh to ask her sooner, huh? 😅

Sorry for babbling so much about this relationship stuff. I’m sure by this point in reading this huge thing you’re already annoyed. And I can almost guarantee it will get worse as the days go on (six days is a very long time, especially when I’ve not got much of a life and too much time to think). But thanks for giving me the push I needed to actually ask her out, cause it worked out really well for me. I appreciate all your support. You’re a damn good ally 🏳️‍🌈

Onto some not great news, my mom got fired. I don’t know what all led up to it today, but I do what’s been happening this whole time and frankly it just sounds like a lot of discrimination against her. I hope she contacts a lawyer because I’m sure she’d have a good case that she could proceed with. Just hope things work out for her soon, I know she’s been applying to lots of jobs recently anyway cause she was feeling this was going to happen a while ago. So I just hope it works out for the better. There’s not much else I can do, really. I don’t think I could even pitch in for bills, or at least not much anyway, since I still have to pay for my own house and bills and food, etc., and sometimes the budget is kinda tight as it is (not like I’m getting a bunch of overtime every week in normal circumstances). But I’ll talk to her about it when I see her Wednesday, see if there’s a way I can help at all.

~8/1 (12am-1am)

I hope you’re having a wonderful time on vacation. It’s definitely hard not talking to you, since I have less to occupy my time. I have to keep reminding myself not to constantly refresh my tumblr waiting for a message from you 😅 got so used to it, it’s just a habit now, so I’m trying to break out of that for a while. Miss you a bunch already. But as long as you’re having fun and getting to rest and have a break, that’s what’s most important 🙂 can’t wait to hear about everything when you get back, I’m counting the days haha

Dad finally decided to re-watch the Saw movies with me, so we watched the first two today (or technically yesterday, I guess by this time). Hadn’t seen the first one in so long I’d kinda forgotten a lot of the little details, so it was cool to experience it again. I remembered a lot more of the second one, but it was still fun to watch again and relive it a bit. Dad and I were reminiscing about the first time we watched them when I was a kid (since the first Saw came out in 2004, and I was about 9-10 depending on what month we actually ended up watching it). Growing up we always bonded best over horror movies, because it was special getting to see them as a kid when nobody else you knew was allowed to watch that stuff, and if we were watching a horror movie I knew I wasn’t in trouble for anything and we weren’t going to fight, we’d just get snacks and enjoy the bloodshed. I recently came to that revelation in a therapy session a couple months back, that those memories and rare good times are a big part of what contributes to my love of horror and why it’s so special to me. Idk maybe I mentioned that before, I can’t remember. But in any case, watching the Saw movies again gives me those good memories and happy feelings. Which I guess is kinda weird when you consider how much gore there is in them. It is what it is now 🤷🏼‍♀️ and I know they’re not your thing, I’m not saying any of this to try to prod you into watching them. Just sharing the happy stuff, you know

But speaking of Saw, on that first day Bree and I were together when we were driving back from Cortez we were talking about horror and stuff, and I was talking about how much I love Saw, and she said she’s never seen any of them either. I was telling her how excited I was for the new one and she said “so you’re saying I have to catch up on all the others before we go see the new one together, right?” Which was so adorable/sweet, in my opinion. And gory stuff doesn’t bother her at all, so I think she’ll be fine watching them. So yeah I’m pretty sure I can get her to watch them with me soon, too. And frankly I’ll marathon Saw any damn day of the week, won’t ever say no to watching those movies (I really am sick in the head huh? 😂). But this I’m mentioning because I thought it was cute the way she talked about catching up, and insinuating that we’d go see the new one on a date. She’s wonderful 😊

~8/1 (6am-12am)

Didn’t sleep super great, again. I got to cuddle Jess for a while, which was nice, but I woke up pretty stiff/sore. Moved to the recliner but couldn’t really fall back to sleep, mostly just rest my eyes and stretched out there for about an hour and a half. I did have this very silly dream at some point though. You finally said you’d be ok exchanging phone numbers so we could just like text and stuff, and you said “I’ll give you one day to send me as many stupid TikToks as you want, but only one day and then we gotta limit it” so I just went fucking wild 😂 I swear I must have sent you like 150, which you were kind enough to watch and react to all of them. I think it took you like two hours to get through them all, but you did it. So that was just funny

Had my therapy session this morning, which went pretty well. I’m learning to be more positive and have good changes and growth, so he thinks I’m doing great overall. We’re finding that I’m really internalizing the lessons and tools we discuss in therapy, and using them to make changes to my life overall so that I’m living happier and healthier, whereas other patients have some trouble with that and need to focus to get those lessons to become more natural for them. I was doing it without even realizing it, so that’s great news. Sometimes I don’t recognize the positive changes I’ve made until we hold up the mirror for me to see, but at least they’re there. Next week we’re going to do a trauma intensive session where we really go through one traumatic event (in this case we’ll be discussing my homelessness) and work through that. It’s blocked out for 2 hours, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m kinda excited, really, cause I’ll finally get to purge so much of this shit stuck inside from going through all that.

Aside from just therapy I’ve had a rather full day (for me, anyway). I also had a different doctor’s appointment, then had to go to the post office and pharmacy. And at the post office they gave me the wrong package and I didn’t realize it at first, so once I caught that I had to go back in to get the right package instead. Finally home, it’s about 1pm now, and I’m just completely exhausted. Idk why but I feel so wiped out, and my eyes are so tired. I’m gonna try to take a nap in a bit, I think.

I hope you’re out doing a bunch of fun stuff, or maybe just getting to relax for a while since you need some rest, too. Ugh I miss you terribly. Is it Sunday yet? 😅

I took my nap and now I feel much better and more rested. I had some leftover chili cheese fries from the place we went to for lunch, which was even good cold 😋 and dad and I are planning to watch Saw 3 soon. Just gonna try to run through the whole series before the new one comes out, because I know he’s going to want to try to see it in theatres with me if he’s able. Have to see if he loses enough weight to be able to go to a theatre and handle walking around, stuff like that. But he did actually start his diet again recently, so hopefully he’ll stick to it and get healthier here little by little. I’m trying to be as supportive as I can with buying better food and such, so you know. Anyway, I digress, not gonna go on and on 

Speaking of Saw, I got my purse today! I haven’t opened the box yet, so I’ll write up another little update once I do, but at least I got the package and don’t have to keep tracking it all the time now. I’m super excited to switch everything into it now

Also found that if I word things in a certain way with my dad he’s much more receptive/supportive about things (at least as much as he can be). So if I just say something like “Bree and I are planning to go see these movies on Saturday, so I probably won’t be home until Sunday morning”, he won’t get upset about it and will just say “that’s good, you deserve to have fun.” It kind of bridges the gap between us now. We both know Bree is my girlfriend, but not saying it that way makes it easier for him to accept, I think. It’s not a perfect situation, and I don’t know that I’ll ever really get acceptance from him on this, but right now it’s progress and the best I can hope for. Some years ago it would have been a huge fight, and he would have kept prodding at me and bringing it up to yell at me and try to make me breakup with her, so I guess I can be thankful that he’s made enough strides in personal growth that it doesn’t have to be like that. I still do feel a little weird/nervous even mentioning her name, simply because the knowledge of the relationship is out there, and I worry it’ll trigger something and make him huff or say something rude. But so far that hasn’t happen, so I’m trying to let it go.

Oh this reminds me, swinging back to my therapy for a moment, my therapist was at first kinda shocked to hear about Bree. He was like “what? When did this happen? Who’s Bree?” And I had to laugh. I went through the whole thing, and I know I’ve mentioned her before but not like a ton since I’m always talking about myself, of course, so I guess he forgot her name in combination with how many other friends I’ve mentioned before. I had to explain how things just kind of fell together, because he was surprised I’d never mentioned these types of romantic feelings towards her or going on dates or anything. I had to keep being like “it just happened, bro, like a week ago” 😂 but in any case he thinks that is awesome, and a great positive change in my life and something to be proud of for stepping up and asking her out myself, which is really nice to hear

I was thinking about you a bit today (though when am I not, really? 😅), just in like wondering what you’re up to on vacation and stuff like that. I’ve got a vision of my head of you smiling and being happy, and that makes me smile to think of 🙂

I finally opened the package for my new purse and it looks amazing! I’ll send pics later on (when you’re back around here), but I’m really so happy with this purchase. It’s a lot bigger than I expected, since a lot of these novelty bags can be pretty small and barely hold anything inside. But this one has a decently large holding area, with a side pouch inside. I think I might even be able to still fit a book inside along with all my other things. I’ll have to try that tomorrow when I move everything else into it. Can’t wait to walk into work with this creepy ass purse, freak out the nurses 😂

Also got around to washing my hair. I know it’s kinda gross to wait so long, but I wanted to go a full week to let the color really set into my roots and let my natural oils come back into my scalp, since bleaching is pretty harsh. So far there’s been minimal leaking of the color during washing, and it still looks pretty vibrant even after using shampoo and conditioner and all that. The stylist I went to did a great job, I’ll probably go back to her the next time I want to do a color, too. I’m thinking maybe bright purple in November? For my birthday haha

~8/2 (12am-2:30am)

I’m super awake all of a sudden. I thought my warm shower would relax me, since I was doing all my nice skincare and stuff, but it seems to have done the opposite 😬 ah well, I suppose I can stay up a bit since I don’t have any specific time I need to go back to mom’s house, really. As long as I’ve got enough time to pack lunch before work I’m good. But I’ve been finding it so hard to sleep lately, so who knows what’ll happen, regardless of how I try to plan things out. Maybe I should try to go to mom’s early, that way I have time to talk to her about what happened with work and see if I can make her feel a little better or something 😕

Definitely not looking forward to work tomorrow, but then when am I ever? And I like my job, really. I’m just still kinda worn out in general, I think. I was doing so much on my mini vacation that I didn’t really have much time to rest at all. Would have been nice to have had a full day in the hotel, just ordering pizza or other takeout, watchinf something silly on tv, reading, all that good stuff. I’ll have to try to plan for that next time I get to do something like that. Work won’t be so bad, I guess. Only 3 days cause this is my short week, and then Saturday I’ll get to watch movies and have dinner with Bree, and I’m very excited for that, so I’ve got something to look forward to 😊 I’m gonna try to finish this book I’m on, too. I’ve got 3 days, should be fine to finish it out, especially since I am enjoying it. Oh and I should try to get caught up on one of my shows that started again recently… already putting too much on myself, and then I’ll end up doing nothing, so I should stop now and just breathe 😅

Sorry for babbling so much here, and in general. I know none of this stuff is really all that important, some of it’s probably kinda boring/annoying to you by now. It is pretty hard for me not to get to talk to you, so this is the easiest way for me to kind of fill that void. Though maybe expecting you to read all this isn’t really fair of me… but I know I’d forget so much of this if I just wanted to talk to you when you got back, especially with so much to catch up on and wanting to hear all about your trip and everything. And it would definitely be shitty if I were just spamming you all day while you’re off trying to have fun. But I still kinda feel like this big long message is a bit of a burden on you to try to read and respond to (not that I expect you to respond to every little thing, or even most of this, since a lot of this is just me talking or telling you a silly story). The thing is, I know you *will* read it. You’re the only person I can really trust to read everything I send to you, no matter what, which really means a lot to me. You always make me feel heard and appreciated and respected. I hope I do the same for you. And I think maybe because I know I can count on you for that, that’s why I feel a little guilty about doing this. Ah I don’t know. Just stuck in my feelings again, you know me. I’ve come too far now to stop or try to delete all this or anything, so I guess you’ll just have to deal with it 🤷🏼‍♀️

But also, I wanna say thanks for always making time for me. Even when you were super busy cleaning and getting everything ready before the vacation, you still took the time to talk to me every day when you could, and I can’t even really put into words how much that matters to me. Yeah I miss you, yeah I wish I could talk to you more often overall, but the weight of those actions overshadows the other stuff. I really am just glad to be a part of your life every day, and have you in mine. Wish I could hug you for real, but guess this’ll have to do 🫂

Idk why I’m all mushy right now. Though I guess this is how I usually am anyway, so not like you aren’t used to me. But still. I’ve been a little overwhelmed with emotions lately, dealing with a lot of stuff swirling around in my head and all that. I won’t get into it, I know you don’t want to hear about this, just saying it’s contributing to my being a little sweeter right now 😅 you do deserve to hear this stuff, though. You’re my best friend for a reason. You really are such a wonderful person, and I care very much for you.

Alright I’ll stop all that for now before I say something we’ll both regret ha

I’m trying this new sleep mask thing, not one of those ones that goes over your eyes but like a cream mask (skincare thing), it’s meant to be an overnight moisturizer. You apply a thin layer, rub into your skin, let it dry, leave it on all night, then rinse face in warm water in the morning. So it’s all dry and everything by now, and it’s already left my skin pretty soft and smooth. Some parts of my face can get pretty dry, but this makes everything feel evened out, which I really like. And it smells pretty cause it’s lavender and chamomile 😌

I am kinda hungry though, but I don’t have anything to snack on. I wish I had more chips and salsa, but I finished those off yesterday. I don’t really want to get out of bed, but I’m still gonna complain about wanting a snack 😂

~8/2 (1:30pm-6pm)

Ugh I’m so tired. I’ve barely slept at all. Didn’t get to bed until 2:30am, woke up at 7:30am, then was very in and out until about 11:30am. I tried laying around a bit, but it hasn’t worked, and my eyes just want to close. But I have to start getting ready to go to mom’s soon, and then also get ready for work and all that. I want to do some nice makeup today, but I’m also so tired I kinda wanna be lazy about that, so I’m in a debate with myself for it. I’ll probably end up doing it anyway, since I want to be able to use all that stuff I just bought as often as I can. But maybe I’ll do a really simple look today. Like just face stuff (foundation, contour/highlight, blush) and some quick eyeliner and mascara. Eh in any case I’ll take some pics to show you later on

I still have to switch everything to the new bag, too. Didn’t do it last night because I was being lazy, so now I’ll have to do it right before I leave. I guess that’s not so bad, shouldn’t take too long anyway.

I was having some weird dreams about being on Price is Right, probably cause I was hearing my dad watching it in the other room. In the dream I was part of the show, but more in the background? So not like a model presenting stuff directly. But there were these giant water tanks with fake coral on the stage now, behind all the games (or I guess the tanks were stable and the games got moved around in front of them) and me and two other people were hired to be “mermaids” in the tank, I guess to make the games exciting and look fun with the new setup. In real life there are shops where you can buy silicone mermaid tails that you can wear in pools and such, so in the dream we had those special tails to use for swimming in the tank. I remember mine being really colorful but I can’t remember the actual colors now, of course 😅 so basically I spent this dream swimming around a nice tank, waving at contestants and shit. Such a dumb dream, thought it might give you a little laugh

Got to my mom’s house around 3:45pm, so I got to talk to her for a bit. She told me the whole story about what happened with her getting fired, and she’s already contacted a lawyer, which is good. I feel bad, but there’s not much I can do aside from be encouraging/comforting/supportive. Things will work out as they’re meant to, I suppose.

She’s a little overbearing on the support of my relationship though, like she’s getting weird about certain things. Like I told her about me and Bree going out on Saturday and she says “I don’t mind if you bring her over, but you guys can’t be alone in your room together.” What, am I 12?? Not that we’re at that stage yet in the first place, but geez she doesn’t have to act like that either way. And then she says “I just don’t want other people enjoying sex in my house if I’m not able to partake anymore” (cause after her hysterectomy it’s too painful for her to do anything, I know I mentioned that before). I don’t know what to do about her 🤦🏼‍♀️ she’s still more accepting and everything than my dad, so I gotta put up with her, but still she’s bugging me a little bit

I did end up doing my makeup, so I’ll save some pics to send later on. I’m not so tired anymore, so that’s something. I packed up a lunch for work, but I’ll probably go grab something quick from McDonald’s before I go in, cause I’m hungry but too tired to make anything else.

Oh yeah, my mom asked if I had told you about Bree yet, basically insinuating that you might be jealous for some reason. I was like “who do you think encouraged me to ask her out?” which surprised her enough to shut her up. I slipped and told her I liked you one time, now I’ll never hear the end of it 😬

Bree texted me earlier and said people are talking about us at work. Of course the word’s gotten out already, since gossip spreads quick in the hospital. But it’s no big deal since we made it public and everything, so let ‘em talk. Someone told Bree congrats though, which is cute 😂

I did end up getting McDonald’s for a snack. I always order a Diet Coke, right. But at the window the girl’s said it was just Coke, so I politely said it was supposed to be Diet. She took it back and said she’d change it, gave me a new drink, it ends up being Coke anyway 🙄 it’s not a huge deal to have a regular coke here and there, I just really don’t care much for it. So I’m blaming you for this 😋

I wonder if we’re getting a storm coming through. I’m sitting in the McDonald’s parking lot and all of a sudden we got hit with these huge gusts of strong winds, and it stayed windy for about 5 minutes or so. It’s calmed down now, but still that was kinda weird

Almost time for me to go into work, sigh. And knowing I won’t get to talk to you at all just makes my work day that much more boring. At least when I’m obsessively checking tumblr for your messages it makes the time pass quicker 😅 I’m just joking around though, really. I’m sure it’ll be a good day

~8/2 (6pm-12am)

Figure I’ll break this up a bit today, since it was getting to be a long block of text up there before.

As I was walking in I could hear really loud thunder, and the wind picked up again. The sky is all gray and dark, too, I love it 😊 I just saw some lighting and it started to rain a few minutes ago, hopefully the rain will drive everyone away ha

Prudence is covering some shifts now that McKenna is gone. And it’s great that she’s helping out and everything, but at the same time she’s not really used to the way ER works, so there’s a lot I have to check up on to make sure they don’t need to be cleaned up. So far just a few things not done, like labeling the incoming faxes, but that’s really not a big deal. And I know she was frazzled from working something she doesn’t know well, but she said they had 6 patients today and that that was a lot… but I digress

I’m a little annoyed though cause the chair I’d been using has been moved. Tess brought it back here specifically for me, and it had been fine for a while, so there’s no reason it shouldn’t still be here. So now I gotta email Tess and see about getting it back, and hopefully I can get a bit comfortable in this other chairs and not wreck my back today ☹️

Idk why but I’m like burning up today. Maybe I just haven’t had enough time to sit and let my body regulate, cause I’ve had to do some paperwork and stuff already at work here. Or maybe it’s the pound of makeup on my face 😂 in any case, I feel muggy and it’s gross. I’m gonna drink some water and see if that helps.

I hope it’s not too hot where you are right now. Though I suppose if you stayed anywhere in the south then it’s bound to be hot no matter what 🤔 but I hate being hot and sweaty on vacation, cause then I’m just uncomfortable and cranky the whole time, so I hope you’re not going through that kind of thing right now cause that would not be fun. Or maybe you’ve been indoors a lot, and then it wouldn’t really matter how hot it is outside if you’re in nice AC 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m just babbling away cause I’m bored, you know how it goes. Not much to do right now aside from waiting for Bree to come see me after her shift ends. I’ve got half a mind to jokingly ask her if she wants to kiss in the rain 😅 but I don’t want to make her too uncomfortable since we are at work still

Georgia’s birthday is coming up on 8/5, but I’m hearing that there’s already cake somewhere around the ER 👀 I’m gonna have to go hunt it down and have a little piece soon

The whole quitting smoking thing has been going pretty well, for the most part. It’s harder when I’m driving or about to go to work, cause that’s when I’d smoke most often, so that’s when I feel the cravings a bit more. Or if I see someone smoking (like on tv or a movie or whatever; for example, there’s some minor smoking scenes in Saw and that made me want one pretty bad) then I tend to want a cigarette moreso since it’s a visual association. But otherwise it’s not awful. I don’t have too hard of a time pushing those thoughts away and distracting myself from the cravings and such. It is still a bit difficult trying to remove it from my psyche in the sense of it being like such a huge part of my personality and things like that, but I think I’m doing ok with that right now.

Idk what’s going on but I heard Krissy say “I’m sorry, I got seduced by the cottage cheese!” So that’s fun out of context

Speaking of, I don’t know how Krissy is still here. She never seems to have a day off, this one. At this point we should just dedicate one of the rooms to her so she can rest when her shift is done 😂

I was taking care of some things I needed to handle for college coming up at the end of this month, and my student loans don’t cover the full amount of my tuition for this semester. I’m thinking I may need to drop 1-2 classes of the 4 I’m enrolled in, which would make my academic journey take longer, but could be more affordable. Cause how am I gonna come up with $1700 by the 16th?? That’s how much is left over after my loans pay out. My mom suggested looking into payment plans or trying to get a student loan with my bank, so I guess I’ll look into all that this weekend. Just sucks, the way things were estimated when I was first applying/enrolling seemed like the loan would be just enough to cover everything, maybe a couple hundred bucks I’d have to throw in. I suppose if I do have to give up some classes I can put off like Nutrition and Balancing Work and Family, since I wasn’t super excited for those anyway, and they were mostly credit courses to take off some prerequisites for my eventual majors. Not like I can’t just take them some other time. As long as I can keep creative writing and Geology I think I’ll be happy with that, because then I’m still making progress towards what I want to do for my Bachelor’s eventually (well, sort of anyway; Geology isn’t really part of Health Science, but is still a science, so I’m counting it). Ugh I should have been born into generational wealth. Fucking poor parents that I’m stuck with 🙄

Bree came to spend time with me, of course. We had a nice time just hanging out together. We always end up laughing and telling each other silly stories. And we try not to be too PDA at work, for obvious reasons, but we keep the door between me and the nurses closed when she’s here, and try to talk a little quieter, so we held hands for a minute when she’d first come by, and before she left I got a full on hug and it felt so wonderful. Not just the human contact, but the closeness to my partner and the love in the hug. I got some butterflies just from that 🥰 and she knows about my need to confirm things a bunch of times and all that, so she actively talked about our Saturday plans with that positive confirmation, and said she was super excited to go out that day, which really made me feel special. I have a lot of trouble with feeling like I’m bothering people or being too pushy or overbearing or whatever, especially when I have to ask them about confirming plans, and I always have that question of “do they really want to spend time with me” in the back of my head, but she always makes it so clear that she wants to be with me and spend time with me and all of that, and it really just fills my heart with so much joy.

Ah sorry for babbling about Bree again. I’m just having a moment over here 😅 haven’t been in a relationship in so long, and the last person I was with wasn’t all that great during the relationship anyway, so I’m not used to kind treatment. It short circuits me a little bit, because there’s also that part of me that feels like I don’t deserve to be treated so nicely. But I’m starting to work through that little by little. Anyhow, I can’t say it won’t happen again, because we both know that it will. Obviously I’ll be giving you every detail of what happens Saturday, too 😂 but I’ll try to keep it on a minimum until then haha

~8/3 (12am-6am)

Tim’s working this week, and Krissy was only doing a half shift tonight so she left at midnight. She’s finally getting like 5 days off, poor thing has been working a crazy schedule for weeks now. But anyway, the ER is empty and Dr Reay is in the Doc Box, so it’s just me and Tim in here. He’s at his desk at the nurse’s station, but it’s directly behind me, so every so often we’ll just kinda yell something to each other 😂 mostly just hanging around and doing our own thing though, and it’s very comfortable

We were also hearing that search and rescue got called out for someone on a river around here. Idk who was out doing river activities after midnight, but of course they were gonna get swept away 🙄 but search and rescue found them, which is good, and hopefully they’re ok and won’t need to come around here

I think my TikTok gave up on my algorithm cause at this point it’s all just masked dudes 😅 not that I’m really complaining about that or anything, just saying it’s kinda funny that I broke TikTok and turned my page into this. I did discuss these videos with Bree, and she doesn’t mind me watching them still. Which maybe I mentioned that before, I can’t remember now. But it’s nice that she doesn’t care, cause I don’t know how I’d get it to reset at this point 😳

And I’ll say what I’m always saying: I miss you so much. Work really is harder to get through without getting to talk to you, or even just message you with the knowledge that you’ll see my message the next day and I’ll get to talk to you later on. I’m just so bored and have very little to occupy my time. TikTok is fun but it can get boring after a while, too. And I have my book but I tend to get distracted while reading lately. My mind is always wandering and it goes places I don’t always want it to go, so that’s not great. And I have trouble just sitting and watching something. I have to move my hands and fidget in some way, so I end up going on my phone and then missing parts of the plot. So I’m just having a blah kind of time in general. And I’m also jealous cause you don’t have to work this week, and I wish I didn’t have to work because I’d definitely like some more time to rest/relax right now. I’m pretty sleepy right now, honestly. Hopefully that’ll make me sleep better when I get back home, but still. I knew not getting to talk to you would be difficult for me, but damn this is starting to hurt 😅 that means you’re stuck with me forever then, now you’re definitely not allowed to ever leave me or not be friends with me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Ok in all seriousness though, I know the way I’m talking makes it sound like it’s all about me. But I honestly am happy that you’re off having a good time and getting a vacation and all that. You really did need a break, can’t think of anyone more deserving of some time away than you. I just like to talk, and typing this up helps fill my time and keep me occupied/awake. And I guess I’m a little worried that you won’t come back on here or talk to me anymore now that you haven’t had to put up with me for a while. I feel like I pressure you in some way to talk to me every day when you are here, or like it’s becoming an obligation you have to fulfill. I’m always worried that I’m being annoying or overbearing or whatever else I’m being, since I don’t know how to shut my damn mouth. I’m not trying to put words in your mouth or saying that you actually feel that way, I just always have it in the back of my head that at some point you could feel that way, if that makes sense.

Bleh ok enough of this serious nonsense for now. Im not trying to bring the mood down or anything. I know you’re not gonna want to read all this moody crap after a nice vacation, so I’m trying to limit all this. Just get stuck on those 3am thoughts, you know? But we’re moving on.

Tim offered to make us some coffee in a bit here, so that’s nice of him. I don’t know how to use the fancy coffee machines in the break room anyway, since they’re like espresso makers or some shit. Do you think it’s a good idea to have a double shot at 3am? Maybe if I dilute it with enough cream and sugar it’ll be fine 🤔

Tim showed me how to use all the fancy coffee machines, they’re actually not as complicated as I thought they’d be, they just look a little intimidating at first. I don’t really drink coffee very much, but nice to have the option. But Tim found one of Caitlin’s old mugs in the cupboard and of course I’m having to use hers 😂 but we both kinda got to gripe about her, so that was fun. Tim is super nice though, he won’t outright say anything mean about anyone, which is a lovely quality in a person. Anyhow, I did use up a bunch of cream and sugar but the coffee tastes pretty good. A little bitter, but not terrible. And caffeine really doesn’t affect me very much, so I’ll still be able to sleep when I get home. Also they found that person on the river and they’re fine, don’t need medical attention or anything, just need to get somewhere dry. I’m glad that all worked out for the best.

I found some of the good chairs floating around in front of the nurse’s station (and I usually never have to walk around there, so I wonder if they were there all day and I just didn’t see them). So thankfully I’ve got one now, but it’s 4am and my back is already half wrecked. At least I’ve got some relief for the moment

Tim and I got to chat for about an hour, just full on sitting and talking to each other. Which we don’t do super often for some reason. I think we just got so comfortable with each other that we don’t really need to have long conversations often. But he’s nice to talk to cause we do get along really well, especially when it’s just us two around here. After that he had to do stocking in some of the rooms, and I had to do my paperwork. But as he’s stocking one of the big trauma rooms in front of our areas he calls me over telling me to help him count all the outlets in that room. Turns out one of the new trauma rooms has 52 outlets, and the other has 48. For what purpose?? We’re such a small hospital, I don’t think we even have enough machines to plug into those outlets all at one time. And there’s no reason a patient would need that many things at once anyway, so it’s grossly unnecessary. We were laughing about it because we have all these outlets but no bathroom on this new side of the ER. The things that get overlooked in planning, you know? Just wild

~8/3 (4pm-12am)

Woke up with my back basically in shards. That chair I had to use most of last night really did a number on me. And Tess had texted me to ask if we could meet up when I got to work later, so I guess she’s going to come talk to me around 6pm or so when I clock in. I don’t know what she wants, and I usually get along with Tess very well, but I have a feeling that she’s going to bring up what happened with my mom, and I don’t really want to discuss that with someone in management. But we’ll just have to see what happens. Maybe she just wants to see my hair, since she’s one of the only people who hasn’t seen it yet after giving me the ok for it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Bree texted me some cute little drawings/comics of cows, so that was very pleasant to wake up to 🥰

This morning mom told me she had leftover spaghetti in the fridge, so I’ll get to have that before I go to work, which is awesome. I’ve been craving spaghetti anyway so that works out great 😋

Just had the spaghetti and it was really good. Kinda wish there was more cause I’m still a bit hungry 😅

I had to upload on ibuprofen when I woke up, since my back was hurting so bad. And I took an extra Prednisone. I’ve been able to rest in my chair here for a little bit (still at mom’s house) so I feel a bit better now, hopefully it gets better as the night goes on.

I was dreaming about Bree and I going out on Saturday, and I woke up all sad that I still had to wait a couple days to be able to do that 😂

I also got to cuddle Ty for a bit. He gave me some kisses on my nose. He doesn’t really like to be held/cuddled so much anymore with how sick and grumpy he is all the time, but sometimes he likes when I pick him up and cradle him for a few minutes. My mom gets a little jealous though cause he doesn’t really let her do that anymore ha

Pre-season football apparently starts today, which I just found out when I woke up. But the preseason game that’s on tonight has teams I don’t care about, so guess I still won’t be watching it. Unless Erika wants me to bring it up at work so that all of us can wander in and watch while dealing with patients and such. I’ve done that for her before. I just hope I get to see my Seahawks play this season, I didn’t really get to see many of their games last year, or many games in general. So I’m gonna try to stay more on top of it this year if I can. Last year we were so busy around the hospital that even when I could pull up games it was hard to keep up since we’d get so many patients and have to run around doing things. But this year we’ve been oddly slower for several weeks, and if it keeps trending this way then I should be fine to watch most of the games that play during my work week (like Thursday night football).

Tess did come around for a while. We talked very briefly about what happened with my mom. I tried to keep it kinda shut down, just saying we don’t really talk about work much at home and that she’s just trying to move on, stuff like that. But Tess wanted to assure me that my job is secure and nothing is going to happen to me or my stepdad, so that’s something. We also discussed some new processes for the clerks to handle, most of which is just redundant. If our cash box stays at $200 and doesn’t get opened or used or anything during the course of a shift, what’s the point of filling out and turning in a stupid little slip just to say nothing changed? Seems pointless unless we actually do have something change, like taking a payment from a patient or needing to take out money from the box for a cab or whatever, and then those things have other specific forms to fill out anyway, so it just seems like a lot of hullabaloo to me. But I’ll do it anyway, because I’m supposed to 😬

At least talking to Tess took up about an hour, so only 11 more to go now. Tim is working this week, so I can talk to him if I get bored. And Brandi is back, too, and since things were getting better between us last time she was here I might try to start up a conversation about books or something when we’re a bit calmer. I’m pretty sure there’s still cake in the breakroom, too, so maybe I’ll grab a piece later on. So far seems like just a normal day, which I guess is better than an abnormal day 🤷🏼‍♀️

I wonder what you’re up to right now 🤔 I know you’ll tell me later, but I’m still trying to figure out where you went, so my mind is coming up with random images trying to piece it together. Idk why but I kinda have an image of you next to some kind of famous statue, flexing as you lean against it, something like that. Would love to see you in some kind of silly hat. I’m not sure why that’s what came to me just now, but I think it’d be funny to see this big tough guy in like Mickey Mouse ears or something 😂 well wherever you are I hope you’re staying hydrated, wearing sunscreen, all the good stuff. Maybe next time you’ll take a vacation out here in Utah, hmm? 😉 just messing with you. I’d love to get to hang out with you someday, of course, but I don’t know that you’d like it much out here. It’s kinda boring unless you really love hiking/camping/outdoor shit. The only fun you’d really have out here would be getting to see me, but then I’m even more annoying in real life and you’d probably be sick of me after ten minutes 😅 but still, maybe one day I’ll get to see you for real 😊

Ugh just had a patient’s husband come in, saying he was here to pick up his wife. So frankly he should have just waited in the lobby the five minutes it would have taken for her to come out since she was already discharged. But he asked if he could just come back to the room to see her and walk her out, and that’s all fine, so I let him in and show him what room she’s in. And then he gets all huffy, saying like “what kind of hospital is this? You don’t keep track of your patients?” I explained that we recently renamed a lot of the rooms due to construction, so I confirmed which room it was and said that the nurses told me which room she was assigned to. He’s still all upset, “well, she’s not in there. And she was discharged so she shouldn’t be anywhere else.” And then she walks out of the bathroom and comes over to him 🙄 but do I get an apology? Do I get an acknowledgement that we were doing everything right and she was simply using the restroom before leaving? No, of course not. He and his wife just leave, and he still seems to be in a pissy mood. Almost seemed like he was angry with his wife for being in the ER at all, but that’s not my business. I hate these kinds of assholes, so quick to blame us for nothing, but never admitting they’re wrong 😡

Bree came by to see me, but only very briefly cause she was tired. Apparently they were pretty busy in the lab today. So she just gave me a hug and said she was gonna dip out pretty quick. I was definitely a little 🥺 but I understand that she needs time to rest and everything, too. And she said she’ll bring tea over tomorrow to spend time with me at work, so that’s nice. We quickly discussed plans for date night Saturday, about like when we wanted to get dinner around the movies’ schedules, got that all settled. I’m so excited, I get tingly little butterflies just thinking about the upcoming date haha. But the only problem with Bree not staying to hang out with me is that now I have even more time to try to occupy on my own, but not much to do. I am trying to finish this book in the next two days, though, so maybe with this extra time I can get a bit farther in. We shall see

We’ve got a suicidal patient, so the social workers from 4 Corners have to be here, which would be fine if they didn’t have to use my office for things 😬 but since I have an extra computer and more space compared to the nurse’s station or anywhere else at least one of the social workers has to be here in my cubby. So I can’t close the door to eat or watch my shows privately. But at this point I don’t really care so much. I’m too hungry to wait until they’re gone, and I’ve got my show playing very quietly with subtitles on so I don’t bother anyone. Still kinda sucks though, cause I hate not having my own space. But at least that patient is getting help, which is much more important

The show I was watching had some sexual content in it, not like nudity or anything, but talking about getting fucked and such. And with everyone around I thought hmm maybe that’s a bit inappropriate for the work place. So I turned it off, then went through the channels on Hulu to see that Saw 2 was playing, and I put that on instead. Because somehow the gore and death seems more appropriate than talking about sex 😂 and I proceeded to eat my cup of noodle ramen while watching someone try to make a decision about whether or not to cut out their own eye to survive. I think maybe there is something wrong with me after all 🤷🏼‍♀️

~8/4 (12am-7am)

Been a rather boring night. Only had 2 patients all day, thankfully. We do like it quiet around here. I was on TikTok for a bit, but it got boring after a while. Still kind of neglecting my reading, but I did try to get through more of the book. I managed alright, decent enough progress, but my mind wandered away again, so I got stuck in a daydream for a good 15 minutes or so. But earlier I got to sit around talking with Brandi and Tim, which was actually pretty nice, and passed quite a bit of time. And I did get some cake earlier, which was pretty good. The chocolate cake was all gone, of course, so I had a small piece of the yellow cake with vanilla buttercream, and I liked it quite a bit. It was a nice treat. I guess Georgia won’t be here until next weekend, which is why they had all the cake and everything done the other day. I’m gonna see if I can get her a card to give her next week.

I’m pretty tired now, like my eyes just want to close on me. But I know the second I get home I’ll be wide awake, go figure. I’m gonna try to go to bed a bit earlier, but we’ll see how that goes

I know I’m getting repetitive by now, but I’m really missing you pretty badly at the moment. It’s like you’re haunting me, since I’m still thinking about you a lot. Who knew I’d get so used to the constant contact. I kinda feel like I’m withering away over here, just waiting for you to come back. Which sounds really dumb, I know 😅

I say I’m trying not to push it or be overly gushy or whatever and then here I am almost every other paragraph saying how much I miss you and can’t wait to talk to you again. At least you know I care about you, so that’s something right? 🤷🏼‍♀️ But I swear the days feel longer and the hours go slower when I don’t get to talk to you every day. It became such a habit that having it taken away is like having someone put me on a manual reset. Like I’ve just got this ache in my chest.

Alright, have I made enough of a fool of myself for one day? Man, I sound ridiculous, don’t I? I’m sorry. I’ll try to stop now. I just get so emotional all the time and have so much to say. Why’d I have to get stuck with this overly talkative gene? Why can’t I be mysterious and secretive? Nah, I gotta communicate too much, make everyone uncomfortable 😬

You’re just a wonderful person and I value your presence in my life. I think I took it for granted a little bit, always having you around, and I didn’t realize how much I rely on our connection to get me through the day until it was gone for this little while here.

You’re gonna come back to all this and wonder what the hell’s wrong with me, I just know it 😮‍💨

~8/4 (8am)

Extra little tidbit here. I was planning to go to bed early because I really was tired when I got home, but then of course mom and I started talking and hanging out like we always do. Somehow things took a serious turn, something got triggered in my mind, and we both end up crying and holding hands and all this shit, talking about our traumas and whatnot. Which neither of us expected this morning, but I know with her losing her job she’s probably got a lot of emotional issues pent up, and I’ve always got bullshit building up in my head, so I guess we just needed to cry together. We both feel fine now, for the most part

Before the crying, we did talk about relationships and things like that. We talked about Bree and how I’m feeling in the relationship so far, my thoughts about how it’s progressing, all that stuff. And my mom truly is fully supportive of this relationship, so it’s very easy to talk to her about everything in my head. But she then says to me “make sure you clean your car before you go out, that way if you two want to make out later it won’t be gross” so you know I just can’t escape these things 🤦🏼‍♀️

~8/4 (4pm-12am)

Woke up almost feeling like I didn’t sleep at all, even though I know I did because I still remember having some dreams (don’t remember what they were now, but still). I feel a bit better now cause I’ve been moving around and everything. But I’m planning to try and rest my eyes a bit at work tonight anyway, since I won’t be able to sleep much tomorrow before date night. We’ll see how it all works out

I got a hilarious video of my mom singing Slipknot. I don’t know if videos can send, but I definitely wanna try to find a way to show it to you because it’s hilarious 😂 so remind me about that later

Speaking of my mom, she already got another job. Not even a week later and she’s already moving on. She’s gonna be teaching first grade at the local elementary school, which is great because she loves teaching and didn’t want to try to go back into health care. It’s a bit of a pay cut, but they won’t have to leave Moab or commute or anything like that. I don’t envy her having to deal with all those kids, though 😅 and she’s still gonna find an attorney to deal with all the shit that happened at the hospital, which I keep prodding her about to make sure she actually does it.

I cleaned out my car, sort of. I wasn’t able to get like every single bit of trash in the backseat, cause I’d have to move my jumper cables and other things back there, and my back was already starting to hurt from bending and leaning in, so I had to stop after a while. But it looks better than before cause a lot of the big trash items are out now, and it’s a bit clearer overall. I should go try to get it vacuumed or something, since there’s crumbs and stuff everywhere in the front, but I know I won’t have time tomorrow, so it’ll have to just be ok. I don’t think Bree will care or say anything, but still, I feel kinda bad about it. At the very least it’ll smell nice, since I have my scent clip on, and I’ll spray some Febreeze on the seats before I leave tomorrow, so that’s one thing. And I’m still happy with the progress I made on it overall, since I am more limited in what I’m able to do anyway 😊 and Robert helped me put on my new steering wheel cover, which is covered in rhinestones and very pretty, so that’ll be distracting tomorrow, too haha

Last night some guy on here sent me a chat, and I responded, and then they blocked me. So like what was even the point of sending me a message in the first place? Coulda left me alone completely and saved us all a hassle 🙄

Don’t know yet what the day will hold, since at the moment I’m typing this up before work. But lately we’ve only had like 2-3 patients and then nothing all night, plenty of time to just hang out and relax and do nothing. I’m really hoping it stays that way again, since I am not in the mood to be doing shit today. I wanna enjoy my pizza and some shows and TikTok and read and close my eyes for like an hour. Just gotta get through this shift and then I can start my weekend. 4 days off, since this is my short week, and I don’t have much to do on Sunday or Monday aside from help dad with some social security/disability paperwork stuff, so I’ll actually get to just rest for a while. And of course I’ve been talking a lot about how excited I am for date night tomorrow, so that’ll be a great start to the weekend 🥰 and Tuesday I have that intense therapy session, which I’m actually pretty excited for because I just wanna get this shit out of me, you know? But I think now I’m just repeating myself again, since I have nothing else to really talk about yet. So sorry if this has been annoying 😅

Welp, I’m at work now, so far nothing going on. But it’s only like 6:45 so the night is young. Bree said she’s still coming by to hang with me for a while, so I’m getting pizza for both of us 😊 and I’m just listening to Dr Scherer and the nurses talk about bad doctors/nurses who used to work here. They’re all reminiscing and laughing, and while I’m not really part of it (and kinda don’t feel comfortable trying to jump in since I haven’t been here as long as them) it’s still fun to hear about all the old drama haha

We did have one patient come in just now from Urgent Care, but that’s not such a big deal. And since they already got his info in the system I have very little left to do for him, which is nice.

I’m definitely going to try to finish that book tonight. I want to be able to grab a new one this weekend when I’m at my house, and I don’t think I’ll have much time to read tomorrow since Bree and I will be out for a long time, so guess it’s gotta be today haha. I suppose I could try to finish it Sunday, if I have to, but still the goal will be to do it tonight. But let’s see if that actually happens 🤞🏻

Hope you’re having fun doing whatever you’re doing. I’ve been thinking about you (obviously), mostly just to hope you’re enjoying yourself and having a good time. I’m still wishing for a picture of you smiling and looking happy for once, so I hope you didn’t forget to take one 😂 and while I feel bad that your vacation time is almost up and you’ll have to come back to reality soon (cause that always sucks), I am also soooo excited to get to talk to you again soon. I’m damn near counting the minutes 😅

~8/5 (12am-7am)

I’m writing this up after midnight, so figured I’d just break it up a bit so it wouldn’t end up being such a long block of text.

Bree came over to hang with me at work around 8:30pm. I had the pizza and everything ready for us, so that we wouldn’t have to bother with ordering later on. Thankfully not much has been going on today aside from a few things here and there, so we had a long time to just keep the door closed and spend time together. It was really sweet, she brought over her whole traditional Chinese tea set so we could basically have a tea party together 🥹 I have some pics of the tea setup I can send later on. But she showed me how to properly steep the tea, and the traditional practices of brewing and “washing” the tea before drinking, and it was really cool. I also love tea and things like that, so it was awesome to be able to share it together. And those teas can get a lot of steeping out of them. We were using small porcelain cups that don’t hold much tea, since it was more of a tasting type thing than actually like sitting with a whole mug to drink, so we must have had like 20 little cups worth between the two teas we were trying. Both were very good, and very different in flavor, I really enjoyed both of them. Then after we had pizza and watched Bob’s Burgers for a while. She just left a little bit ago, we’re both gonna end up on TikTok for a while ha.

But just the fact that she wanted to have tea with me, so she packed up her whole set and brought everything over to the hospital to set it up and share it with me… I can’t describe at all how special that makes me feel. I can’t believe someone would go to that kind of trouble just for me. And it’s not even trouble to her, since she wants to do it, but still. I’m gonna be a little awestruck for a while 😅

We both have the same kind of like passion and intensity about things, too. In a sense it’s like we’re all in, you know? But it’s just sweet cause I’m the type that loves to take pics and share those memories, and she is too, so when I wanted to take a picture to commemorate our tea time she didn’t even hesitate to say yes. So I have some silly pics of her and I smiling and holding up our tea cups that I shared around. Just one more thing I appreciate, being able to enjoy taking pics and posting them and share my life and happiness, knowing she wants to do the same thing.

She also brought us some little fancy chocolates! She stopped off at a candy store before coming over just so we could have a sweet treat with tea time. So thoughtful I could cry 😭

I don’t think I’ve been this happy… maybe ever, to be honest. And as much as I truly love men (let’s be real, y’all are so damn hot), every day I start to feel more and more like “I’m so happy I’m not with a man.” And it’s nothing against men in general or anything like that. I’m not one of those people that hates men or thinks men are awful or whatever. Idk how to describe it. It’s just like… a guy would never think to bring me a tea party, you know? That kind of thing. Plus Bree is androgynous enough that if she wore a mask for me it would probably translate decently enough to work up my kink 🤔 not the point, just something I was thinking about before 😂

Anyway I’ll try to stop babbling now, sorry. Just been a really great night so far, couldn’t wait to share all the details with you 😅 and tomorrow we have the bigger date so you’ll be hearing all about that, too. I know I won’t be able to keep it on a minimum, so I’ll just apologize in advance.

I did manage to finish my book. Took me about 2 solid hours, I think? Or maybe an hour and a half. In any case, I had a nice block of time to just sit and read it all through, and it was pretty good. I really enjoyed the story and I felt it was decently unique. Which is really nice since I was looking forward to it for a long time, and I’d heard a bunch about it on TikTok and stuff, so I’m glad it was a good one in the end.

I don’t know why, but I’m all keyed up right now. Feel like my heart is really pumping and I kinda just want to move around for a minute. And that’s not great, since I really need to try to sleep right away when I get home (it’s like 5:50am right now, almost off shift), since I have to get up at 1pm to get ready for date night. But the good news is that Bree’s house is only about ten minutes from my mom’s, and it’s a straight shot down one road until I turn onto her street, so it’ll be quick and easy to find. I’m definitely gonna be wound up with nervous energy as soon as I wake up, though. Hopefully I can get my makeup on properly, since when I get these feelings I tend to get a little shaky too 😅

Oh but I dug around in some bags in the closet at my mom’s house and ended up finding my little bottle of my favorite perfume. It’s Romance by Ralph Lauren, I’ve loved this scent for so many years, but it’s super expensive and so I’ve not really gotten to wear it much at all. Dad had bought me a small bottle for Christmas in like 2020 (when I first started my lab job and was getting paid exorbitant amounts of money and the hotel we moved into on a more stable basis was dirt cheap to try to get business in because of covid), and even that was about $60, so I wear it very sparingly. I’ve still got roughly half the bottle left, and only need a tiny bit since it’s a strong scent and lasts for quite a while. Plus now that I’m not smoking anymore nothing will mask the scent of the perfume itself. So I’m definitely gonna wear it today for the date.

It’s absolutely killing me not to talk to you. Look at all this nonsense I’ve had pent up to tell you, and how much I’m still going on 😅 ugh I need feedback and encouragement and support and for you to remind me not to be so nervous with Bree since she already likes me and I have nothing to prove (and yeah clearly I can tell myself that, but it just doesn’t sink as well if it’s not you saying it). Guess I gotta wing it on my own for the date tonight huh? 😬 But I suppose I’ve been doing fine this whole time, so that’s something. Ah I just miss you, I can’t not say it. Hurry up and get back on here already 😮‍💨

Well, writing all my silly little thoughts like this is at least somewhat helpful. Sorry you gotta read it all, but I did warn you about that beforehand 🤷🏼‍♀️

Anywho, I remember some months back I’d told you a little story about how I tried to say goodnight to the nurses as I was leaving one morning and not a single one even looked at me, and it was upsetting. Well even progress has been made in those respects, because today before I left I said goodbye to the nurses at the station (who all happened to be crowded right near the doorway between our area anyway, I think there were like 4 of them there) and instantly Tim stopped talking to them to acknowledge me and say goodnight, which made some of the other nurses do the same thing. Good guy Timmy to the rescue. He’s such a wonderful person to work with and have around, and he treats everyone so kindly. I’m always happy when I get to work with him, and that’s partially for reasons like this. It made me flashback to that moment a couple months ago and kinda smile and feel better to see these small changes. And maybe it’s just because it was Tim, or because they were right next to me and couldn’t reasonably say they didn’t hear me, or whatever other reason. But it was nice all the same.

And I just realized I forgot to take the call sheets down to Med Surg. Even though I still don’t know what they need them for since they don’t use them to call anyone in an actual emergency anyway, that’s the ER clerk’s job. But whatever, I hope Dani doesn’t give me any fuss about it later 🤦🏼‍♀️ ah well can’t do anything about it now anyway. And Dani’s been a lot easier to deal with lately too, much more personable and friendly towards me, so she probably won’t say anything about it. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻

Have you ever known Vitamin D caps to like fuse together? I got a bottle of the gel cap type pills from Walmart, the nephrologist said I need to up my intake to keep my levels up since I have trouble with Vitamin D depletion and that’s not good for the kidneys. I opened them up today since I finished my old bottle yesterday, and I swear all the fucking pills are completely fused together. It’s like the gel is melted to each other or something. Maybe because of the heat? Or maybe that’s normal for these types of pills? It’s fucking weird though. I had to literally stab at the blob with the end of a makeup brush to try and carve one off the top to take with my morning meds. Don’t know what all to do about that.

~8/5 (1pm)

Just woke up to get ready for the date. Fuck man I’m so jittery right now, even though I’m also still a little bit tired. But the moving around and the nervous energy are definitely keeping me awake, so that’s something. Trying to just breathe and take things one step at a time, but I’m so like overly excited that it’s like my spine is tingling 😅 ah I wish you were here for all this in real time, I know you’d be able to calm me down ha. And it’s not even like a big thing, just a couple movies and dinner, normal stuff right? I see her all the time, and was even with her last night, so it’s not like we’ve had absence or distance in trying to build things up. So why am I so shaky?? Ugh this is so new to me. My ex and I would usually just go to bars. I think he had me over to his apartment like one time, and he was over at my mom’s old place one time. We’d either go to bars or hang out in his car, and at the time that was like the pinnacle of dating to me. I was so stupid back then (I’m still stupid now too, but differently). This whole thing with Bree feels so completely different from everything I’ve ever done, I don’t know how to deal with it I guess.

In any case, you’ll hear all the details here later on. But if I take too much time writing this I’ll be late, so toodles for now! 😊

~8/5 (10pm)

Ughhhhh I wish you were here right now my guy. I have so much shit I wanna tell you and it’s gonna take a minute to type everything out and I want you to get hyped up with me 🥺 but I’ll just have to write this up and wait for you to read it to get excited I suppose

Just got back a little bit ago from date night. I would have typed this up sooner, but I had to do my grocery pickup order, which took a minute. Anyway, we had a wonderful time. I met her grandma, and she was very sweet to me. She liked me right away and made jokes and such, so we had a pleasant first meeting. I wanted to see Bree’s cat, but he was hiding for a while cause he’d hurt his paw earlier and was a little wary since I was a new person. Only stayed there for about 15 minutes at first so Bree could finish getting ready before we left.

It was so cute, the first thing Bree said when she opened the door was that my makeup looked so pretty, and the first thing I said was that she looked adorable in the black dress she was wearing. I didn’t know how she might decide to dress for the day, with her being non-binary she has a wide range of styling. So today was a more femme day. She had a black dress and these big jewelry pieces (necklace, earrings, ring) that all matched cause they were like this vintage turquoise stuff. You’ll see when I send pics later. And she did some makeup too, but not nearly as much as me 😅

We went to see Barbie first. Got us some popcorn and sodas, but it was too much popcorn for either of us so she ended up saving the rest for her grandma, which was fine with me because then at least someone was eating it. And we both really liked the movie. It did go a little hard on the feminism angle, but it was enjoyable either way. I ended up crying by the end. Bree was surprised, quietly asking if I was ok, and I had to explain to her that I literally cry over everything, especially if it shows things about the beauty of the human condition and feelings and community, all that good stuff. She put her hand on my leg and I held her arm and we just kinda cuddled together while the movie wrapped up and I sobbed 😂 but it was a cute moment

Went to dinner at this restaurant called The Spoke. She said it would be best to park across the street and walk over, since there’s minimal parking nearby the actual restaurant and it’s easier that way. And she had me hold her arm the whole way there and back (which is perfect since she’s a bit taller than me) 🥰 food was good, I had a pasta dish I liked. It had sliced fresh cherry tomatoes, which I’ve never liked before but decided to try now since it’s been years, and they were actually really good! So maybe I kinda like fresh tomatoes now 🤷🏼‍♀️ but we also got some Oreo shakes for dessert, which was nice 😋

But right as we were finishing up, thankfully had already paid and everything, the power went out for the whole city. At first we thought maybe it was just the one block/street/whatever; but then some updates on Facebook were saying it was a downed power line and took out all of Moab, and it could be like 3 hours to fix it. So no way were we gonna be able to see Haunted Mansion like we’d planned, which kinda was a bummer cause I really want to see that movie. But with the power out she said she had to stop back home real quick to check on her grandma and make sure the portable oxygen tank was set up for her, so we did that. Oddly enough their house had power when we pulled up. Then we just hung around there for a bit to give her grandma some company and let us get to know each other more. Her grandma seemed very happy to have company over, and we got along well. We were sitting at their kitchen table and on the wall nearby her grandma has this big shelved collection of adorable salt and pepper shakers in all different shapes and such, like cows and pumpkins, so we talked about that a bit. And Bree’s cat finally came out to investigate, and then he absolutely adored me. Guess I must have pet him in all the right spots cause he kept coming up to rub against my legs and my hand, have me scratch his little chin and belly. He was so soft and fat and cute, I loved him instantly haha

We were trying to decide what else to do, since it was still pretty early. Settled on taking a little drive around, so we got back in my car and started driving straight down the one road nearby. She was telling me about how to get to some of the hiking trails and other places in the canyons by taking different little turn offs, then suggested driving down by the lake. I’ve never been to any lake before, so that sounded fun, and she told me how to get around to Ken’s Lake. It was pretty full up from some rainfall we’d had recently, and the water looked so beautiful. We got there a little before sunset. Both of us were in sandals and had some leg exposed, so we decided to go walk/stand in the water a little ways down the shoreline. The water was so nice, like a little cool but easy to get used to, felt amazing on the skin. I had the strongest urge to swim, but just wouldn’t have been able to with my outfit and no preparation or anything. So instead I suggested we do a lake date since we’re getting to the end of summer, and she was really excited for that. Figured we’ll try to do it in another two weeks when I have Saturday off again. Gonna do it as an all-afternoon/evening kind of thing, that way we can enjoy the cool water in the hot weather. And we decided to plan it as a picnic! That way we can just hang out all day and not have to worry about food or anything else. I’m really looking forward to it cause I love swimming, and getting to swim in the lake for the first time ever will be awesome. Plus I just get to spend the day with Bree ☺️

Anyway, moving on from my sidetracked babbling, we moved over to where there are this big, mostly flat rocks around the shoreline (they help mark out the parking area on one side) and sat on some of the rocks to watch the sunset over the water. I got some nice pics of that, too.

Earlier she had offered me some lip balm and I teasingly was like “you could kiss it onto me”, not necessarily trying to get her to do it in that moment but rather just saying that I’m open to kisses and things like that. But since we’re both such awkward dorks and there’s been the “are we gonna kiss yet?” tension for a while I decided to just ask about it outright. I didn’t know if maybe she’d be uncomfortable with it since she is Ace, and I wasn’t sure how kissing fell on that spectrum for her. But we talked it out and she said she likes kissing and has just been nervous about it this whole time, wanting it to happen organically but also needing consent and wanting to make sure I’m ok with it too. Amazing how we were both so anxious about something so simple haha

But it was getting dark and I was kinda tired so I was like uhhhh I should go home soon 😅 I felt bad cause it’s not like I didn’t want to spend more time with her, but I really was getting worn out, especially with not having must rest beforehand. So I drove her home, we parked in her driveway to chat for a minute before she went in.

And finally, finally she kissed me! Right before she got out of the car, we were saying goodnight, and she leaned over and we had a nice kiss 😚🥰 it was quick, which is fine. I was joking around, “see now that the first one’s out of the way it’ll be less awkward! Wasn’t that easy?” And we both laughed.

Funny enough the song on my Spotify that was playing in the car when we kissed was Die For You by Starset, which is kind of a romantic song but more intense? I sent it to her to joke about it and she thought it was funny.

So yeah it was a very good night. The whole lake thing was unexpected, but ended up being a lot of fun, and gave way to another good date idea for us, so I’m glad it went that way instead. And we’re thinking of just going to see Haunted Mansion on Tuesday, and I’ll just come down a day earlier, since her work schedule matches mine this week (Wednesday-Saturday, she’s helping cover some people or whatever so we on a similar wavelength). So I’ll probably get to see her the whole workweek too.

Ahh I’m so happy man, like I feel giddy 😍

Well, that’s about enough babbling for now, since it’s the end of the night anyway. I better fuckin hear from you asap tomorrow so we can share in all this joy together 😂

I hope you enjoyed your vacation and had a great time. I hope you got to relax and you feel rested, since you’ve been run down for too damn long. I can’t wait to talk to you and hear all about everything and see all the pictures. I know you’ll read through this soon enough, and then we can talk about all my nonsense too 😋

Hurry up and get on here, please

#ok y’all please don’t interact with this post it ain’t for you #I wrote this all out for one specific person but tumblr won’t let me share it with them if I post it privately so I have to do this instead #only they know who I’m talking about with all the names mentioned throughout and talking about my job and all that stuff #so let’s just leave it alone for them to read at their leisure #cause I don’t wanna be explaining myself to anyone else #I guess you can read it if you want to and see me babble and make a fool of myself repeatedly #but yeah otherwise I don’t wanna hear shit #please and thank you #personal

[valleyrunearchives]

Weightless (The Leap of a Jade Rabbit)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Fandom: Boku No Hero Academia/My Hero Academia Pairings: Aizawa Shouta/Yamada Hizashi Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Chapter 19/?

Midoriya Izuku stopped believing in heroes when a tragedy occurred in his life. When at the tender age of 11, he lost everything that was everything dear to him, everything that was worth living for. Yet he doesn’t give up. He can’t give up. He decides to make a choice instead. No longer will he stand around and wait for the heroes to arrive while a crime goes down. He’ll be his own hero and a hero to those who are just like him. Those waiting for help that will never arrive. In order to do that, though, he’ll have to fight to survive and lie through his teeth. It won’t be so bad!

After all, it’s not like they can bring him in for vigilantism and Illegal Quirk Usage when he doesn’t even have a quirk, right?

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Click here to Read on AO3

Stupid, stupid, Stupid! Izuku thinks to himself as he races back towards his hideaway. Why did I have to go and get myself shot by those damn thugs? You accounted for the quirks! You accounted for the knives! So why the hell didn’t you account for the damn gun, Izuku?! I’m still healing from being stabbed by an urchin spine too!

Yeah, today and tonight was definitely not a good night for Izuku. First, his known metal supplier let him know that he was going to be away for the week to visit family. Okay, that’s fine. No big deal. His projects can wait. Then, a new girl at the pharmacy he goes to for medical supplies refused him services for being quirkless. His fault. He should’ve known to go on Thursday when Matsui works. She never refuses him. So that’s on him. Then, when he went to the grocery store to pick up some food, they were all out of his favorite kind of canned soup. And there’s no way he’s going to settle for anything other than the kind he likes, thank you very much!

Then… patrol happened. 

He had run into no less than two attempted assaults, six drunken fights, three attempted muggings, and finally the robbery. Four people of varying quirks attempting to rob a house in the lower end supposedly because the guy inside owed them money or a favor or something. He didn’t really keep up with that. With no heroes around that he trusted and already a bit battered and bruised from previous altercations, he engaged them like the idiot he was. It had been going well until the last one standing pulled out a gun. Where did he even get a gun?! Japan’s gun laws are crazy insane! He probably had it smuggled in somehow.

Regardless, now he’s got a bullet wound - it luckily didn’t hit anywhere important and wasn’t life threatening - in the abdomen, he feels black and blue all over, and he’s fairly certain he’s aggravated the stab wound from that urchin spine over a week ago. Lovely. He just wants to go home, patch up, eat something from his already meager stash of food, pray that the bullet isn’t still lodged in his guts somewhere, also pray that he doesn’t get an infection from any of his wounds, and go to bed. Is that too much to ask? Knowing Izuku’s luck, probably.

He finally rounds the corner to the fire escape ladder of his hideout with a sigh of relief. The small leap up onto it causes more pain than he was anticipating. Both from his side and his shoulder. He weakly climbs the ladder as pain radiates across the wounds. When he makes it to the fire escape landing closest to the ground, he has to pause for a moment. He feels sick to his stomach. He pants heavily, leaning against the wall and pressing his forehead to the cool bricks. Is this pain that’s making him feel so sick? This has never happened before. His pain tolerance level is insane. Maybe he already has an infection on one of his wounds. Or it could be a quirk. Possibly a concussion? Ugh, his head does hurt… so, probably.

He shakes his head. This isn’t helping. He needs to focus on getting up to the roof then getting his medical supplies out to take care of this. He pushes off of the wall heavily and starts the long trudge up the metal stairs of the fire escape. It takes him about twice as long to get up to the roof but he’s not really too upset about that. He still makes it to the roof access door after all. He pulls it open tiredly, exchanging his shoes for the slippers he keeps at the entrance of the door. He resists the urge to call out that he’s home. This is no home. Just a place for him to hide from all the heroes of the world - old, new, and yet to come.

He glances at the door of his workshop and briefly contemplates going to work on something. He can’t finish anything until he gets that welder though, so he decides against it. He needs to patch up his wounds anyway. He trudges over to the door of his living space and opens it up. He doesn’t even open his eyes as he steps inside and closes it behind him. He sighs deeply and leans against it, keeping a hand pressed tight against the wound in his abdomen. 

“What the fuck, Problem Child?!” 

He shrieks and his eyes fly open. Has this happened before? He feels like it has. He catches sight of Eraserhead shooting to his feet from the chair he keeps at his table and racing over to him. Cold dread fills his body. What was he doing here? Eraser kneels down in front of him and looks him over with concern. He seems to take note of his bruised eye and cheekbone, minor cut on his left forearm, and his blood covered hand. Eraser reaches up a hand and pulls his hood back, gently taking his mask off right after. Not unkindly but it’s definite proof that Eraser knows exactly who he is when he doesn’t even shift at the sight of his hair and face. Instead the older man just carefully turns his head to the side to look more closely at the injuries on his face. “What happened, kid?” he asks quietly.

“Um…” he starts lamely, “There was a… a um… A robbery on sixth street. Four guys. I didn’t get all of my injuries from them, of course. But they were uh… the main cause of most.”

Eraserhead, for his part, doesn’t react or ask any questions. Just waits for him to go on with a steady hand on his shoulder. It makes Izuku feel warm for some reason. He hasn’t felt this way in such a long time. He clears his throat and continues, “So uh… Of course I tried to stop them. And I did! Don’t get me wrong! They’re all in police custody now. But uh… I… Well I… I didn’t realize that one of them… had a gun.”

Eraser’s eyes widened at that, asking frantically, “Did you get shot?”

He nods sheepishly and apologizes quietly to him, next reassuring him that it luckily wasn’t as serious as it could have been. The next thing he knows he’s being pulled into Eraser’s arms. Into a tight hug. “I’m so glad I found you then,” Eraserhead murmurs into his hair, “I can’t imagine what would’ve happened if I hadn’t found you tonight. And I’m so sorry about that night after you were stabbed. We didn’t mean to make you feel so afraid. So unsafe.”

Against his will, Izuku’s eyes welled up with tears. This wasn’t really how he was expecting this conversation to go. He was expecting Eraser to start yelling at him for running that night. Handcuffs being placed on his wrists. Being told what he was being arrested for. He wasn’t expecting a hug and being told that Eraser was glad to have found him. Most people wouldn’t be glad to find him after all. He wasn’t expecting the apology either. Sure, Eraser left notes in those little bags with items in them that he was sorry but he didn’t actually believe them. He thought they were fake to try and get him to trust them. He never thought in a million years that they could’ve been real.

He whimpers softly and buries his face into Eraser’s shoulder. The man just holds him tighter, being extra careful of all his injuries. Izuku sniffles and pulls away after another moment. He reaches up to rub his teary eyes. “I don’t understand,” he says softly.

Eraser hums in question so Izuku looks up to him firmly, “I don’t understand why you worked so hard to find me… just to give me a hug and tell me you’re sorry. Aren’t you going to arrest me? You know my identity now after all. You and Hizashi figured it out that night I got stabbed with the urchin spine. You talked about how Detective Tsukauchi was coming over to bring you my file.”

Eraser flushes in… is that embarrassment? He reaches up and runs his hand across his stubbly cheek, “Let me be frank with you kid.”

“I thought your real name was Shouta,” he jokes sassily. Not really the time for his sass but oh well!

Eraser glares sharply at him. He grins in accomplishment. The dark haired man huffs out a sigh, “You and Hizashi are definitely going to get along swimmingly. As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me with that horrible joke, I didn’t know you and Midoriya Izuku were the same person until I found your notebook on the table there,” He motions to it with his head, “And Hizashi technically still doesn’t know because I haven’t told him yet.” 

Izuku blinks in shock, “You’re serious?”

“Dead, unfortunately,” Eraser deadpans back.

They spend the next moment just staring at each other before a snort slips out of Izuku. After that he can’t stop the loud and hysterical laughter from escaping him. It’s just too funny! He thought he had been caught! But it turns out he had fooled both Eraserhead and Present Mic to the point that they didn’t know it was him until one of them was reading his name off of one of his notebooks! Eraser doesn’t interrupt his laughter either. Just waits with a scowl for him to stop. Izuku’s grateful he recognizes the hilarity of the absurdity of the situation. It eventually dies down with a last chuckle. 

“Okay… That was a good laugh… Alright you’ve found both Gyokuto and Midoriya Izuku so… now what?” he asks loosely.

“Now we find boxes to start packing all your stuff here up,” Eraser replies, turning to look around the room.

“Huh?” He’s confused now. What does he mean?

Eraser turns his face back to him with a blank face, “You think I’m going to let you stay here by yourself now that I know the truth?”

His stomach falls at that, “So you… What? Want me to pack my stuff up and then you’re going to put me in the system? Drop me off at the nearest ‘home for wayward and troubled kids?’ Because if so, I think I’ll just run away now and save the orphanage the trouble of putting up with me for the next few days, max.”

“What? No!” The man almost looks offended at that, “The system’s just as corrupt as the Hero Safety Commission in my opinion. There’s no way in hell I’d chance placing you in any damned place like a local orphanage!”

Another loop is thrown at Izuku, “Then… What are you doing with me?” 

“Kid,” Eraser calls calmly, pulling out a box he found hiding at the opposite end of the room, “I’m a hero and a teacher.”

“Yes. This is an established fact that everyone present here knows,” he crosses his arms huffily.

“Which means,” Eraser continues with a roll of his eyes, “That I have my emergency foster license. I can foster you. So can Hizashi, who also has his being that he is also a hero and a teacher. With the intent to adopt you if you decide you’re comfortable with Hizashi and I.”

“And if it turns out that I’m not comfortable with you guys?” he asks suspiciously.

“Then we find you a vetted home with someone we trust where you will be comfortable. I promise our intentions are not rocket science, kid. The only thing I ask that you do is that you let Detective Tsukauchi come in and talk to you about your time as a not quite vigilante. And that you’re honest to him about it. That’s it,” Eraser sets the box down on the table, “But nothing will happen after that talk. You’ll still just stay with us like I said before.” 

It would be hard to lie to Tsukauchi knowing what his quirk is anyway. But he won’t tell Eraser he knows that yet. Instead he just nods slightly in acquiesce. He can do that. Not too hard to do. Eraser gives him a small smile, different from the near terrifying grin he gives criminals he’s in the middle of apprehending. The man pats one of the boxes, “Here. Start loading these up with everything you want to take from in here and your little workshop space next door. I’ll call Zashi and have him bring the car so we can get it back in one load. After I get off the phone with Zashi, I’ll patch up your wounds again; Both of them. We’ll talk about whether we should take you to the hospital after we get all your stuff in the car.”

“You’re letting me take stuff from my workshop?” he asks in shock. He’s ignoring the hospital comment for now. It’s going to be a no go from him anyway.

“Of course,” is the reply he gets as Eraser pulls his cell phone out, “You’ve worked hard on that stuff. No need for it to go to waste now. I’ll talk to the head of our support class at UA to see if he’d be willing to let you utilize the lab to finish your projects.”

Izuku looks at him with a new sort of star in his eyes. Even mom hadn’t been that supportive when he tinkered with things. She thought it was too much for him and it was too dangerous. To the point that he hid it anytime he tried to do any kind of mechanical work even on their broken appliances. He’s never had someone try and get him into an actual support lab to work on his projects. Warmth fills him again in a way that it hasn’t in so long. Maybe this can work. He can make it work.

He follows Eraser’s instructions of packing the boxes with anything he wants to keep while the older man makes a call to his husband. This is the best opportunity he’s had in a while after all. No point in wasting it. 

#bnha #bnha fanfic #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfic #mha fanfiction #vigilante izuku #aizawa shouta #homeless izuku midoriya #izuku midoryia

[tonysslut]

Your Tony seems to be a little kinky and I LOVE that 🥵🥵🥵 how about he and the reader as a married couple and he is desperate to impregnate her, they really want to have a baby

I've never written smut with a breeding kink but I love reading them so I gave it a shot. I hope you like it! Let me know if there's anything I can do to improve!

Warnings: Smut, Minors DNI, Breeding kink, Dirty talk, Unprotected sex.

Word Count: 1.1k

Summary: Seeing Tony holding a baby has your mind running wild with the thought of starting a family.

The two of you were sitting in the living room, watching some sort of reality TV show that Tony was obsessed with. He’d never admit but you knew he loved them. All you could focus on was Tonys' hand on your thigh, slowly rubbing up and down, and dipping in between your legs from time to time.

“You okay sweetheart?” He noticed your shifting, which is why he progressively started to get closer to your core. You’d been too quiet tonight and Tony knew you well enough to know you were up to something.

The idea of starting a family with Tony had slowly started to invade your mind these past few weeks. It all started when you invited one of your friends over for dinner and they brought their newborn. He was ecstatic to hold the little child, his eyes lit up and he smiled from ear to ear. He looked so comfortable sitting with the baby in his arms, and it made you ridiculously horny.

So ever since then, you’ve been trying to drop little hints to see if he would want a baby. You’d been married for almost two years now so it was the perfect time to start trying, but the conversation never came up, part of you didn’t think he’d want any.

However, what you didn’t know, was that Tony was crazy about putting a baby in you. Seeing you with a swollen belly and the glow that came with being pregnant, just the thought of it drove him insane. But, just like you, he didn’t know if you’d want to have kids yet, or if you’d want any at all.

“Can I ask you something?” You decided to just say fuck it and bring it up.

“Of course baby,” he turned his body towards you to give you his full attention, his hand never leaving your thigh.

You were internally panicking, what if he really didn’t want kids? Looking down at your hands, you picked at your cuticles as you figure out how to ask the dreading question.

“How, um,” You took a deep breath and continued, “How would you feel about having a baby? Like starting a family?” You looked up at him, noticing how his eyes suddenly darkened and his grip on your thigh tightened.

“Is that what’s been going on in that pretty head of yours recently? I’d love to start a family with you, that shouldn’t even be a question.” He leaned over and captured your lips in a searing kiss, full of love and lust.

You leaned back on the couch so you were now laying down, Tony followed you down and situated himself in between your thighs. You could feel his obvious boner directly on your cunt.

“You want me to put a baby in you? Breed you until your dripping with my seed? Is that what my girl wants?” He grinds down and a moan escapes your lips. You desperately nod your head, if you would’ve known he was going to act like this then you would’ve brought it up weeks ago.

He starts to kiss down your neck, slowly making his way down your body, slipping his hands under your shirt and helping you out of it. He captures your nipple into his mouth and swirls his tongue around the bud, the sensation making you arch into him.

His hand makes its way down to your panties and tugs them down signaling for you to take them off. So you do just that, lifting your hips to allow him to just slide them off. He ghosts his hand over your heat, that anticipation kills you as he slowly runs a finger through your fold, collecting your arousal and groaning at how wet you are.

“Tony please, I want you.” You grab his face and pull him towards to kiss him. As soon as your lips touch, he plunges two fingers inside of you, swallowing your moans.

He pumps his fingers in and out of you, curling up and instantly finding that spongy spot that makes you clench around him. He places his forehead on yours and watches as you come undone. You purposely maintain eye contact as your orgasm washes over you, coating his hand and making a wet patch on the couch. You trail your hands down his chest and towards his cock, but he grabs your wrist to stop you, you give him a confused look

“As much as I love when you touch me, I need to be inside you now.” he spits out as he quickly undresses, he gets back in between your legs and pumps his cock a few times before lining up with your entrance.

You both gasp when he slowly pushes into you, all the way until he bottoms out. Giving you a moment to accommodate his size, it doesn’t matter how often the two of you have sex, you never get used to his stretch right away. Once he doesn’t see any sign of discomfort on your face, he starts to thrust into you.

At first, it’s slow and sensual, he takes his time, looking down to see how he disappears inside of you, the way your face contours with pleasure every time his pelvis meets yours. But the way you squeeze around him as your second orgasm rips through you has him speeding up his rhythm.

His new pace has you gasping for air, feeling him reach places you’d never felt before. The room is filled with nothing but moans and skin slapping against skin. He places his hands under your knees and pushes them towards your chest, leaving you at his mercy.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna come baby” he moans out, death gripping your thighs as you feel his thrusts get sloppier.

“Fuck Tony. Please! I want to feel all of you” You moan out, interlocking your fingers with his.

“Yeah? Want me to breed that pretty little cunt of yours?” He groans.

“Yes, baby please,” you whine. He thrusts one last time before throwing his head back with a moan. You can feel his cock twitch as he comes, ropes of cum coat your walls while he lazily thrusts in and out of you.

You drop your legs from the position he held them in and wrap them around his hips as he falls onto your chest. You run your fingers through his sweaty locks as he presses gentle kisses over the top of your boobs.

“D’you think it worked?” he asks breathlessly.

“We’re going to have to wait a few days. There’s a chance we won’t get it the first time.” You tell him, feeling Tony shift to look at you.

“Well, then we better get some more practice huh?” He smirks as you feel his cock slowly hardening again. You laugh as he starts to kiss your neck again, realizing it was definitely going to be a long night.

#tony stark #fanfic #relationship #smut #tony stark smut #tony stark x you #iron man #avengers #tony stark x reader #dad tony stark #tony stark x female reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark imagine #tony stark drabble #tony stark oneshot

[piratesfromspace]

Finance Management (Deckard Shaw/Reader)

Deckard Shaw (Fast & Furious) x Reader

Word count: 1.9k CW: mention of food & alcohol, smut

Female reader

Note: This short fic has been inspired by a friend of mine who created the character of the financial advisor of mister Shaw.  Also there is not enough fics with Deckard Shaw so here we are. 

Read on Ao3

MASTERLIST

“Mister Shaw, it’s me again, I’m so sorry but I really need you to call me back please. It’s important. Thank you.”

You let out a deep sigh as you hang up. Handling the finances of rich people is a lucrative and thrilling job, but damn it sometimes those clients of yours are annoying. Especially Mister Shaw.

First, he’s annoyingly busy and unreachable. Most powerful people are, but he can disappear for weeks on end without so much as sending an email.

Second, he’s also infuriatingly handsome and smart and funny. And he has an impeccable sense of style. He has nothing in common with the other clients of your firm, mainly old and boring men, whose only conversation subject is their money and how they hate their wives.

And finally, the worst thing about him is how good of a lover he is. You found out half a year ago, when you ended up in his bed after what should have been a regular business dinner. It was a mistake of course. One that could have cost you your career because it was a very serious breach of contract to sleep with a client.

You never told a soul, and you promised yourself to never do it again. But it was still hard to forget the feeling of him pressed against you, of his hands holding your waist, of his mouth between your thighs...

You try to focus again on your task and stretch your legs, kicking out your high heels. Feet bare on the soft carpet, you walk to the floor-to-ceiling window of your posh office, taking a second to admire the view, as the final rays of the sun disappear over the lake, and Geneva lights up under you. It’s breath-taking, really. But it also means you’re once again staying way too late at the office. Your assistant has gone home a couple hours ago, and your colleagues are either on vacation or on business trips, making you the only person on the building’s 7th floor. You still have a few things to finish so you plop on your leather chair and get back to work, hoping to make it home before 11pm.

That’s when you hear it: the familiar *ding* of the elevator’s door, at the end of the corridor. You tense immediately. You’re not waiting for anyone, and the security guards always use the stairs when completing their patrol.

Steps are coming down your way, and you grab your phone, ready to dial for the security team. And then you recognize his silhouette through the polished glass wall. There is a knock on your door before it opens to reveal Deckard Shaw himself. He’s wearing an expensive suit and an even more expensive watch, a very light stubble is highlighting his perfect jawbone and his deep grey eyes bear a mischievous glint. Handsome, as always.

“Mister Shaw…” you stammer.

“You know you can call me Deckard.” His stupidly sexy British accent and cocky smile will be the death of you.

He’s been in your office for two seconds and you already want to slap him in the face - or climb him like a tree, you can’t really decide.

“It’s quite late, Mister Shaw, you scared me. Anything I can do for you?” you insist on saying his family name, in a feeble attempt to maintain a professional façade.

“You needed to see me.” it’s more a comment than a question, and you’re suddenly reminded of the dozen of unanswered phone calls you made trying to reach him.

“Yes… yes, that’s right, but honestly you could have called tomorrow morning.”

“I’d rather see you in person.” he answers, looking you straight in the eyes. You can feel yourself blushing under his gaze. “Wanted to make sure you’re alright. You’re working too much you know.” he says with a soft smile, as his eyes drift down to your sore bare feet and then to the discarded heels under your desk.

What a condescending prick, you think. But at the same time, he’s right and his care seems somewhat genuine. It will not make you forget you almost lost your job because of him though.

“How did you know I was still here tonight?” you purposely redirect the attention on him, rather than you.

“Well, let’s say I would not leave the woman in charge of my assets without any... supervision.”

“Is that a polite way to say you’ve been spying on me?” you retort dryly.

“Oh I love when you’re getting all angry and snobbish, your French accent is even cuter.”

You’re gonna murder him. You really really want to tell him to go fuck himself, but he’s the one responsible for a very generous part of your paycheck, so you have to keep quiet.

“I would be more comfortable if we keep our conversation strictly professional, Mister Shaw.”

“Everything you want, dear.”

-----

“Mmph, fu-ck... Deckard, don’t stop”

The professional attitude has been long forgotten, since Deckard has pulled you onto his lap on the velvet couch of his presidential suite at the Four Seasons hotel, where you were supposed to only review the important documents he needed to see. But when the room service had brought a very nice bottle of Scotch, you knew you were screwed. You could not refuse a drink, and the warmth of alcohol combined with the warmth of his hand slightly brushing against your thigh had overcome all your resolve.

You are now sprawled on the king-size bed, moaning his name as Deckard Shaw is destroying your sanity very methodically. One foot on the floor, one leg bent on the edge of the bed, he’s pounding into you, holding your hip with one hand, and circling your clit with the other. His pace is calculated, not too fast so you can feel every inch of him, but not too slow so your nerves don’t have any respite, and it’s driving you crazy. Hands tangled in the dark silk sheets beneath you, you try to catch your breath to no avail.

“I won’t stop darling. Not until I can feel you coming again all over me.” His voice is like heavy honey, dripping all over your senses, drowning you in sweet and sinful promises.

You want to close your eyes to focus on the overwhelming feelings, but the view in front of you is too good to be missed. He looks like some demi-god, bathed in the subdued light of the room, broad and muscular chest, abs perfectly drawn. What is his job again? You vaguely remember him talking about serving a few years in the military when he was younger, but he is still definitely hitting the gym on a regular basis.

His muscles flex when he brings you down on his thick cock a little more sharply than before, and you keen as he hits that perfect spot inside of you. You can feel your orgasm build again, and so can he.

“You’re close, princess, aren’t you?”

You mewl in response and he chuckles darkly, keeping up with his ruthless assault on your most sensitive parts. He angles his fingers just a bit differently on your clit, and keeps thrusting into you, stretching you so perfectly you can’t remember the last time someone fucked you this good - wait , actually you can, it was a few months ago and it was by mister Deckard “annoyingly perfect” Shaw.

“Come on, I know you want to, I’ll keep going until you give me one more anyway princess…”

And that's it. You’re gone. Back arching off the bed, you come hard, harder than the first time, clenching around him. You barely hear him hiss in pleasure as you spasm helplessly on the soft sheets, the silk feeling almost cool against your burning skin.

----

“Good morning darling."

You open an eye, natural light is flooding the room, as is the delicious smell of fresh coffee and tea. At the foot of the bed, you spot a room service trolley loaded with breakfast treats and through the open door of the bathroom, you can see Deckard is looking at you in the mirror reflection while buttoning a crisp white shirt.

"Your tea is ready. Black, no milk, right?”

He's right and it's annoying because is there anything this man messes up?

"What time is it?" You ask, suddenly remembering you have a busy schedule today.

"You have 27 minutes to eat and get ready, so I can drop you off at your office in time for your first call of the day."

He knows about your tea preferences and your professional agenda, of course he does , he was not joking when mentioning the whole "spying-on-you" situation, or "supervision" as he liked to call it. He needs to stop it, but you decide to keep this discussion for another day.

You stretch, and rise to put on the hotel bathrobe, sighing at the thought of having to wear the same clothes as yesterday. Last you saw them, they were scattered on the floor all over the room and your underwear were positively ruined.

"The concierge was very helpful this morning, thanks to him I got you a few clothes delivered for today." Deckard adds as he pours himself a cup of coffee from the cart and gestures to the leather armchair where a couple of bags doning logos of luxury brands are perched.

You make your way to the packages, and open the first one to reveal a sophisticated dress, fitted and sexy, but not too much that it would be inappropriate as office wear. The second bag is a thoughtful selection of high end make-up products. And the last one contains a gorgeous set of lacy lingerie, nothing too raunchy but sexy nonetheless. Of course everything is in the right size.

"Thank you..." you whisper, a little stunned. The assortment must have cost him a couple grands at the very least - not that he can't afford it because you're well placed to be sure he can, but still, he did not have to do this.

You have to suppress a smile, because damn he's being annoyingly perfect once more, but you don't want to give him the satisfaction to reveal he was right when promising you could stay the night instead of going home and still look fresh for your day at work.

"I was thinking, I'm free tonight, so maybe we can finally review those documents, you know the ones you were supposed to show me before you jumped on me on the couch last night?" Deckard states as he bites in an apple in front of the window, casually looking at lake Geneva glinting in the bright morning sun.

You blush unwillingly, struggling to find a reply that would save you from admitting you had failed at enforcing your usual work ethic.

"I'm kidding dear!" He barks in a laugh. "I know enough to trust you on this venture, you have my approval to go on with the investment." He continues more seriously.

You open your mouth to answer but he's quicker.

"I'm not kidding about being free though, so what about dinner and then we can see where this takes us…"

When you don't answer immediately, he turns to look at you. Maybe he's realizing the situation can be awkward and precarious for you since you're technically working for him.

"You can say no, I won't take any offense." He adds without irony.

"Yes..." You finally answer, tip toeing toward him until you can snatch the apple he was eating from him. He protests but you shush him.

"...Yes, I would like this very much..."

As he starts to protest again, you take a big bite from the fruit with a knowing smile.

"...but only for dinner. Nothing more."

"You'll be the death of me." Deckard says, falsely irritated, his voice dropping lower.

"At least the feeling is mutual, mister Shaw ..."

#deckard shaw #deckard shaw x reader #female reader #fast and furious #hobbs and shaw #deckard shaw fanfiction #hobbs and shaw fanfiction #deckard shaw / reader #jason statham #jason statham imagine #smut #hobbs and shaw smut #deckard shaw reader insert #fast and furious fanfiction

[fangurk]

Puppy Love (The Cullen Family x Child! Werewolf! Reader)

Key:

Y/n - Your Name

Y/h/c - Your Hair Color

Y/e/c - Your Eye Color

Y/f/c - Your Favorite Color

Y/f/f - Your Favorite Flavor

Prompt (given to me by @inrice): but could you do something along the lines of the cullens (mainly alice) takes upon the job of raising a werewolf!reader? who's a child of course.

Summary: Alice Cullen stumbles upon a very strange, very lonely child while out on a hunt and, in true Cullen fashion, decides to take them home. Nobody knows how to take care of a werewolf or a child, but when they put in a collective effort (and bring in the help of Bella) things start getting easier...

Warning: Is this kidnapping? It might be kidnapping, fluff, slightly angsty at some parts, AU because Caius is cruel, and potentially odd genderless terms of endearment.

A/n: family fic makes the brain go brrr. so like i didn't really know how to handle the whole werewolf thing because the twilight lore is so... bare... and i wanted to write more on the family parts so it's not like a real focus but it is mentioned quite a bit. I hope that's okay! /gen

Word Count: 1.2k+

Alice wasn’t able to foresee you.

She simply stumbled across you one day on a hunt, your tiny body curled up at the base of a tree. You smelled so much of dog she almost mistook you for one, and then you looked up at her with big y/e/c eyes and she knew.

Carlisle wasn’t very happy when she brought you home.

“The Volturi will have a field day with this.” He says as he repacks his doctor bag. “The child is dangerous to have around.”

“But they're all alone, Carlisle. You said it yourself, they looked like they were out there for days— and I waited there with them until nightfall, no one came…”

Her shoulders fall and she looks at the door separating them from the rest of the family.

“Oh please just let them stay, we’ll all take care of them— if anything we’re better suited for it than anyone!”

Carlisle opens his mouth to protest but is interrupted by Esme opening the door, you asleep in her arms. All of his hesitance melts away at the sight, and at the sound of your small snores.

He sighs. “Fine, the child can stay— but we have to be careful.”

Alice nearly erupts with her joy, and Carlisle tries to hide a smile.

──────────────────

They give you a nice bedroom.

Rosalie, Alice, and Esme take an entire day to shop, nearly clearing out three children’s stores in the process. They build you furniture and they paint the walls a pretty shade of y/f/c; you now own more toys and clothes than a kid can possibly comprehend.

You spend the day with Emmett, the only Cullen boy who’s comfortable getting close to you, and he introduces you to the wide range of children’s cartoons. Your browsing ended with Crashbox, something that had the big man far more into it than you, but it was fun nonetheless.

“Want to see your room, Y/n?” Rosalie hums, poking her head around the corner and flashing you a dazzling smile.

The ladies let you wander around the new space, excitement brightening your features.

Emmett is still enraptured by the TV long after you’re put to bed.

──────────────────

Most days are good days.

Even if two of the family members seem a little afraid of you, you’re happy. You’re fed and clothed and loved.

But then there are bad days.

You wouldn’t eat. Nothing Esme made you was satisfactory and you were too upset and overwhelmed to let anyone know what you wanted; everyone tries to comfort you, even Jasper with his powers, but none of it really seems to work.

And then Edward comes home.

He left at some point during the crying and everyone figured that he was just bailing ship like he usually does when it comes to you. But, in reality, he somehow managed to get a cohesive reading of your mind and immediately went to someone who could help him.

“I brought Bella.” He says, gesturing awkwardly at his equally awkward girlfriend when five sets of frustrated eyes land on him.

“And I brought chicken nuggets…” The brunette human raises the bag up with a smile.

Everyone watches in confusion as you perk up a bit.

“Uh, here.” Bella crosses the room and places the bag down in front of you.

You open the bag and immediately start eating, sniffling but no longer upset. Every Cullen is reeling in shock.

“Well. What do you have to say to Bella?” Alice clears her throat, giving you an encouraging smile.

“Thank you, Bella.” You mumble, mouth full of food.

“Oh- it was actually Edward’s idea.”

You turn and thank him, beaming, and he gives you a crooked smile in return.

Afterward, Edward doesn’t really avoid you anymore.

──────────────────

‘Children of the Moon’ don’t pass their lycanthropy onto their offspring.

Alice doesn’t like to think about it, but sometimes the implication that someone bit and infected you consumes her mind and it makes her want to cry.

──────────────────

On the days they go to school, you do too.

They figure it’s good for you to spend time with other kids your age, and it seems to be. You always come home with crazy stories of playtime adventures and smelling of paint and crayons; the teachers love you, or more so the bright little woman who picks you up from school.

“Draw your family.” The teacher encourages one day.

You draw the Cullens.

When you proudly hand it to Alice when she picks you up from school, she lifts you up in a hug. Jasper frames your little drawing and puts it up next to all of their graduation caps.

──────────────────

The full moon is pretty horrific.

In order to keep everyone safe from your tiny claws, they keep you in the basement. For hours before the transformation, you just lie down there and wail-- you’re only little, it’s only fair.

Alice sits outside and talks to you the whole time, her voice wavering and her hands shaking.

She doesn’t move after the wails turn into howls, even if it would be safer to do so.

──────────────────

“Does Jasper hate me?”

You’re wrapped up in bandages, sitting on the picnic blanket with your adoptive mother and eating a sandwich too big for you as her husband pretends to do something down by the water. Alice is completely blindsided. They’ve sort of explained what they are to you, and you’ve kind of filled in blank spaces to the best of your ability, but she’s still unsure how to explain Jasper’s hesitance.

She doesn’t wind up having to.

“No,” He says, sitting down next to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, “I don’t. I’m actually quite fond of you darlin’.”

That alone seems to satisfy you and, over time, he loosens up a bit.

Jasper seems happier than he has in a while, listening to you talk about things little kids talk about, and Alice watches fondly with a smile.

──────────────────

One of them reads a story and tucks you into bed every night.

Most times it’s Alice, sometimes Jasper joins in.

Tonight is one of those nights. You’re clean and showered, dressed in a cute little pajama set, and nestled under the covers; she’s lying down next to you, Goodnight Moon open in her hands, and he’s in a chair next to the bed.

“... goodnight noises everywhere.” She finishes, smiling at your drooping eyes and lulling head.

Carefully, she unwinds herself from you and, with the help of her husband tucks the blanket under your sides. You tug your favorite stuffed animal close to your chest, y/e/c eyes closed, and a smile on your little face.

“Goodnight, y/n.” “Night, kid.” They each say, Alice bending down to kiss your head and Jasper opting to stand there and smile.

“G’night mom and dad.”

Jasper’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head and he turns to face his wife quickly.

Alice Cullen, the girl who forgot half of her life, never felt more whole than she did standing in your room, holding her mate’s hand, and turning off the light as the hushed sound of a cricket’s song filled the big house...

tag list:

@batmanunicorns523

#alice cullen x reader #jasper hale x reader #alice cullen imagine #jasper hale imagine #the cullens x reader #the cullens #twilight imagines #twilight saga #twilight #emmett cullen #rosalie hale #edward cullen #bella swan #carlisle cullen #esme cullen

[mackenzielovee]

my girl (part 4) - rafe cameron

a/n: SURPRISE! I wrote a part 4 ;) i had this idea right after i said i was only doing 3 parts - but this really is the final one! I really hope ya'll enjoy. It's a little shorter than the rest! (not my gif)

Summary: Nope sorry you have to read!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, kissing, and test anxiety

Word Count: 4.4k

series masterlist

my writing

Your phone buzzing on your nightstand distracts you get again from cramming for your Chemistry final. The exam happens in two days, yet you feel like it might as well be in two hours with the amount of anxiety you have. It's your second year of college, and boy, it hasn't gotten any easier. Thankfully, your roommate is out for the night so you have your entire dorm to yourself to study.

You lean over and check your phone. Another missed call from your fiancee, Rafe. Beside your phone on your nightstand sits your engagement ring. You stare at it for a moment and swallow your feelings, then move back over to your chemistry textbook. Your phone buzzes again - a voicemail from Rafe this time, which you don't bother to listen to.

Chemistry is your focus tonight. Chemistry is what you need to be studying for, what you need to know inside and out. You throw yourself back into it, shutting off your phone when it buzzes yet again. You need absolutely zero distractions.

About twenty minutes into it, you hear a loud knock on the door. You sigh, figuring your roommate forgot her ID or keys again. You pull open the door and sigh, fully shocked when you find Rafe standing at your door. He's out of breath from running inside from the parking lot, and he looks pissed off.

"Oh, good, you're alive," he snaps, pushing his way into your room before you can even invite him.

"What are you doing here?" you ask him, closing the door so none of your nosy neighbors can listen to yet another argument between the two of you.

Things haven't been good. You're sick of him calling and texting you all the time, him begging you to come home, and constantly asking who you're with when you go out. On top of all of that, your classes this semester are harder than they've ever been, but Rafe never respects when you say you need space and time to study.

"Checking to see if my fucking fiancee is breathing!" he shouts, throwing his hands up in the air, "I mean, shit, Y/N, I called you, like, twenty times."

You glance over to the nightstand at your phone, realizing your ring was over there, too. You know he won't like that.

"I shut my phone off. I really need to study, Rafe," you tell him, but he's not listening.

Instead, he collapses onto your bed and puts his head in his hands, sitting directly on your Chem textbook and notes.

"Oh, my God, what the hell? Get up," you snap at him, walking over and pushing him off so he doesn't ruin your notes or textbook pages.

"It's fucking fine," he replies as he stands, barely glancing at your papers.

"No, it's not. I need this shit to pass my exam-" you hold the wrinkled papers up.

"They're literally fine, Y/N," his voice raises, "Stop being so dramatic."

You take a deep breath before you speak again, knowing whatever comes out will not be very nice. You've really been trying to be patient with him, but it's getting harder and harder.

"I'm not being dramatic, Rafe," you say calmly, "I just really need to study and I need peace and quiet."

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck as he debates what to say next. Neither of you want to start a fight, but you both have a lot of shit to say. His eye catches the shiny object on the nightstand and he looks over, figuring out it's your engagement ring.

"What the fuck?" he gasps, picking it up and holding it out to you, "Since when do you take this off?"

You put your hands on your forehead and sigh, realizing this is going to take up a lot of time that you don't have. And the fact that Rafe drove eight hours on a whim because you didn't pick up his calls all day has made you crazy.

"I cannot do this with you right now," you tell him, stepping toward your Chemistry stuff.

You'll just have to go to the library and study if he's going to be here. There's no way you can get any of your shit done with him bitching about your ring.

"Oh, my bad, when can you do it, then?" he rolls his eyes, "Huh? Can you give me, like, a window of time where you're actually available to talk?"

"Rafe-" you start, but he holds his hand up.

"No, because, I mean, I don't hear from you all day, and I'm fucking worried about you, so I make the long ass drive to come check on my soon-to-be wife, and now I'm the bad guy? Yeah, no, I get it now!" he exclaims.

"Jesus, okay, I have to go," you say, grabbing your backpack from the floor and sliding some slippers on.

"Right, to study," he grumbles.

"Yeah, to study," you snap back, "Just because you didn't go to school doesn't mean you can't at least try to understand!"

You rarely raise your voice at him, so Rafe knows you're mad. He stares at you for a second, deciding if he should acknowledge your comment about him not attending school.

"It's not about whether or not I understand, it's about time management," he lectures, making you roll your eyes, "Don't roll your fucking eyes at me."

"Don't show up at my dorm unannounced!" you yell back.

"I wouldn't have been unannounced if you would answer your goddamn phone!"

You take a deep breath and exhale loudly, then step closer to the door. Rafe walks over to you and grabs your arm, spinning you around. You stare up at him like he's crazy, he's never laid a hand on you like that before.

"Put your ring back on," he demands, holding it out in his hand.

"What the fuck is your problem, Rafe? You think I'm gonna get hit on walking to the damn library? Get a grip," you mutter, trying to yank your arm from his grasp but failing.

"I'm not playing," he tells you, holding the ring up in his other hand.

"Neither am I," you snap, "Let go of me."

He stares at you for another few seconds and then releases you, groaning loudly when he does. He steps away from you and runs his hand through his hair, then sets your ring back down on the nightstand.

"What's going on with us?" he grumbles, sitting down on your bed again.

You start to feel bad as you look at him, so you step closer and set your books down on you desk. You open your mouth to speak, to apologize and return your ring to your finger, when he speaks out again.

"Why didn't you answer the fucking phone when I called?"

You close your mouth quickly, swallowing the words you were about to say. You stare at him for a moment, then you decide that it's just best to tell him the absolute, stone cold truth.

"Because I have shit going on, Rafe. I have a Chem final in two days and I'm not at all prepared, I have other finals and an entire paper due by the end of the week, and I have you up my ass about everything in between and it's just a little overwhelming right now."

He brings his head out of his hands and looks up at you. His expression changes from hurt to angry in about one second, so you brace yourself.

"So what do you want me to do to help you, then?" he asks, his voice agitated. You can tell he's trying to be patient, but he really wants to yell.

"I just need you to give me some space right now," you state.

He nods his head, moving his eyes away from yours and down to the floor.

"Space," he repeats, "You want space."

You nod your head slowly, afraid now to speak. You can't tell what his reaction is about to be, but obviously it isn't going to be a good one.

"So, you ignore my phone calls," he holds up one finger, "You take off your engagement ring," another finger, "And now you want space. Do you think I'm a fucking moron?"

He stands up off the bed, now towering over you. Your hands come up to your face, rubbing your eyes to try and relieve some form of stress.

"God, Rafe, you're making this out to be something it's not-"

"Am I?" he shouts, "Do you want to marry me or not? I mean, I really think that's what this boils down to. Am I what you want, or not?"

His yelling combined with your stress and confusion makes you yell back at him.

"I don't know!"

He steps back, almost like you've hurt him, and stares at you with a look you've never seen before. It's anger, betrayal, confusion, and sadness all rolled into one, heartbroken expression. It makes your stomach turn thinking about the fact that you're hurting him.

"Well, there it is," he says, his voice cracking, "I'll just get out of your way, then."

He leans down and grabs the ring from your nightstand, wrapping his large hand around it and then stepping toward the door.

"Rafe, wait," you say, "Where are you going to go? You can't drive home in the dark."

He doesn't turn around, he can't look at you. Not when you're not sure what you want.

"I'll sleep in the truck," he says, his voice weak and quiet.

"No," you protest, "Rafe, I'm sorry."

He stands there for a few seconds, then turns, and you see the tears in his eyes. One has fallen, and rests on the bottom of his cheek. He wipes it away, but not quick enough.

"Why are you sorry? I'm not what you want anymore," he laughs, but nothing is funny.

Another tear falls and you step forward quickly, reaching up to wipe it away. He closes his eyes under your touch, always loving feeling your skin on his.

"I didn't say that," you say gently, tears welling in your eyes from seeing him like this.

"Just..." he trails off, finally opening his red eyes, "Go ace your Chem final. I'll see you at home in a few days."

He reaches up and grabs your hand, removing it from his cheek. He lays a quick kiss on your knuckles, then closes his eyes again when he lets go of you. Not sure if it's his last time feeling you.

He turns to leave, opening the door up before he turns back to you.

"I love you. I always will."

He doesn't wait for your response, he just closes the door behind him. You turn and look at the nightstand where your ring once sat, wishing to God that it was still there. You want to tun after him, but you know you can't. You two just need some cooling off time, you tell yourself. You'll come back again atfer finals when you get home for Christmas break. He'll hold onto your ring for you, you convince yourself of that.

You can't focus. The next day, you spend all your time in the library, staring at a page in your Chem textbook, and all you can focus on is your empty finger. No pretty ring that reflects every ounce of Rafe's love for you. You check your phone, but all you see is an empty screen. Your wallpaper is a cheesy picture of Rafe holding a wine glass. You took it on your anniversary last year and love everything about it, especially his cheesy grin.

Tears start to form in your eyes, so you do what you have to do. You call him. It rings and rings and rings, then you hear his familiar, raspy voice on his voicemail.

Yo, it's Rafe. Leave a message and I might hit you back.

You close your eyes, those two sentences being the most you've heard from him in almost twenty-four hours.

"Hey," you start your message, "Look, I'm sorry about last night. I really want to talk. Please call me back. Love you, bye."

You sigh and hang up the phone, then look down to your book again. You try and try to focus, but you can't. It just is impossible with everything spinning around your brain. You can still see the look on his face when you said you weren't sure, you can still hear him say 'I love you' right before he left.

And it's all you want to hear again.

You slam your book shut and grab your stuff, then make your way out of the library. Once you get outside, you call Rafe again. You hear the same ringing and the same message from his voicemail, so you leave another.

"Baby, please call me. I'm worried about you. I just want us to talk. Please call. I love you."

You hang up and walk back to your dorm, checking every five seconds to see if he's called you back. You really just want to hear his voice, to apologize, and to be able to focus on Chemistry again. Knowing that Rafe is out there hurting is just too distracting.

You call hm again after you get back to your dorm, giving him about thirty minutes to call back before you try him again. When he doesn't answer, you leave another message.

"Hey," you say, your voice sounding more desperate, "I'm going to call Dad and have him come get me. I'm skipping out on my Chem final. I just want to come home and work things out with you. Call me, please. Love you."

And you mean every word. You sit down on your bed and you remember how Rafe had helped you move in on your first day of freshman year. You remember how he made love to you and how he proposed to you in the parking lot before he left. And you remember all the times he came to visit and you two laid in bed and planned out your whole wedding reception together, laughing and joking about who to invite and who to sit together.

As you sit there and remember it all, remember the kisses and the laughs and the feelings you have when you're with him, you've never been more sure in your life. It's Rafe. It will always be Rafe.

You hear a knock on your dorm room door and hop out of bed, rushing over to it. It's him, you hope. Coming to rescue you, coming to hold you, coming to give you your ring back. You pull open the door with a big smile, only to find your roommate, Alex, standing on the other side.

"Hey," she says, looking confused at why you opened the door like that, "Sorry. I forgot my keys."

You drop your shoulders and nod, moving her out of the way. She leaves the door open as she moves over to her side of the room to search for them. You sit back down on your bed, checking your phone once again. He has to call back eventually.

"You're not ditching your Chemistry final."

You look up and see him, standing in the doorway, staring at you. His eyes are tired, his hair is a mess, and he looks like he's hung over. You don't even want to know where the hell he's been for the past day.

"Rafe," you breathe, hopping up from your bed.

You want to throw your arms around him, hug him, and have you hold him. He stops you when you get close to him, holding out his hand to keep distance between the two of you, which practically breaks your heart in two.

"You're not coming home until you take that test," he repeats, "You've been studying for it and if you don't take it, you fail. So, you're staying. I called your dad."

You frown. This is not how you imagined it. He seems colder somehow.

"Okay," you say, "Fine. But I want us to talk."

Rafe shakes his head, leaning against the doorframe. Alex walks up behind you, whispering she will be back later, and leaves with a quick smile to Rafe.

"I'm giving you your space so you can focus. We'll work on us when you're done with the semester."

He sounds firm, but you know you can win this one. You step forward, so close that he can almost feel your skin on his. Your scent fills the air, and you watch as he swallows his feelings.

"Rafe," you say, your voice soft, "I can't focus on anything knowing that I hurt you. I need to talk about us and figure things out. Please."

"Baby," he sighs, and you know you've won just by the return of your nickname. It's your favorite, which is why he calls you it so often.

"Please," you say, taking his hand. Your fingers wrap through his, pulling him inside.

He groans but enters anyway, both of you knowing that he would do anything for you. The door closes behind him, which you're thankful for. You sit him down on your bed and instantly crawl onto his lap, not caring if that's what he wants or not. That's what you need. Your head buries into his chest and your arms wrap around his neck.

"Baby," he says again, this time with more authority.

You bring your lips up to his neck to soften him up, listening to the small moans that come out of his mouth as you work.

"Rafe," you say against his skin, "I'm so sorry for what I said yesterday."

He hums, so you give him a few more kisses on his neck before you pull back to look at him. He stares at you with soft eyes, and you know you've already won him over. But you still need to say what you need to say.

"Truly, baby. I was wrong. I was angry. You are all I want in this world and I couldn't handle any of this without you. I was acting extremely ungrateful and I'm really, really sorry," you continue, watching him smile sadly at you.

"Well," he smirks, moving his hands from your back down to your butt, "I've always known you're a brat, so."

"Hey," you pretend to pout, but really, you just want a kiss. He gives you a slow, gentle one, one that makes you want to melt into him.

"You are the love of my life," he says, "You could never say anything to make me walk. And I'm sorry for being such a dick yesterday and for not respecting your school. I'm gonna get better. This shit is just hard for me, having you all the way here. I just miss you when I'm home."

You nod, reaching up and brushing his hair away from his eyes with your fingers. Even when he hasn't showered, is in the same clothes as yesterday, hasn't styled his hair or even slept well, he still is the most handsome to you.

"I understand. I'm sorry for being so hard on you," you say, kissing him on the cheek.

He smiles against your lips, bringing his hands up to your face to move you down to his lips.

"Are we okay?" he asks you in between kisses.

You hum against his lips, and he takes that as a yes, so he flips you over and lays down on top of you, kissing you like his life depends on it. He quickly moves down to your neck, his hands going underneath your shirt.

"Oh, my God, I missed you, baby," he tells you as you feel him leaving a hickey on your neck.

"Always marking me up," you laugh at him, feeling him smirk against you, "I missed you, too."

"It killed me not calling you back," he continues against your neck, "But I wanted to do right by you, you know?"

You gasp when he bites you slightly, then laugh when you feel his big grin on your neck.

"That's why I love you the way I do," you say sweetly.

He sits up and looks down at you, smirking widely, "Can you love me like you do right now and then get back to your studying?"

You bite your lip and nod, pulling him back down on top of you.

A little while later, you and Rafe lay naked in your bed, just breathing in the other. Rafe is drawing hearts into the skin on your stomach, leaving little kisses every so often on any inch of skin he could reach with his mouth.

"You need to get back to studying," he says, but doesn't stop with his kisses.

"Can I have my ring back first?"

He looks up at you with wide eyes, wondering if you really mean it. He didn't want to bring up the ring, just in case you had changed your mind about the engagement.

"You sure?" he asks quietly.

You grab his chin and pull him up to you, stroking his hair as you give him a couple quick kisses.

"I've never been more sure of anything," you tell him.

He nods and kisses you again, then hops off the bed and pulls the ring out of the zipped up pocket of his shorts. He grins at you and then jumps back in bed, of course landing on you when he does.

"This is a twin bed, you ogre. You can't be jumping and shit, there's not enough room for you!" you say as you try to free your left side from underneath him.

He moves and lets you get situated, then holds out the ring. You hold up your left hand for him ti put it on you once again.

"Will you marry me?" he asks, and you would've laughed at him if his voice wasn't so gentle and nervous.

"Of course I will, Rafe Cameron," you tell him, smiling.

He slides your ring back on your finger and you somehow feel more complete, more whole, knowing it's there.

"It's never coming off again," you tell him, meaning it.

He kisses you softly, "No, it's not."

Rafe takes a shower and then hangs out on your bed on his phone later on to keep himself occupied while you study for Chem at your desk. You ask him to quiz you and he does, even though he knows nothing about Chemistry.

It gets late, so you tell him you'll study the rest tomorrow and hope to be prepared the following day for the exam. You put your book and notes on your desk, then slide into bed with Rafe, who you made stay with you tonight. Although it didn't take much convincing.

"I can't believe your dad is just letting you take all this time off," you mumble against his chest.

"Hmm," Rafe hums, so you know you're wrong, "I've kinda been dodging his calls."

"He'll be mad," you tell him, and he nods.

"I don't care, though. I got what I came here for."

You spend all day the next day studying in the library for Chem and writing your paper, while Rafe packs your things for you. He figures it's one less thing for you to worry about, and then you can just come with him after you finish your exam. He had told you he wanted to be the one to bring you, his soon-to-be wife, home.

Rafe waits for you outside your building on exam day. One by one, students file out of the building, and he gets even more anxious every time you aren't one of them. Eventually, he stops pacing and sits down on a bench, praying that you do well.

He sees you emerge from the building with only ten minutes to spare, and jumps up to greet you.

"So?" he asks, his voice hopeful.

"I won't know for a few days," you tell him, "But I'm confident. I felt like I had most of it under control."

He smiles, taking your hand in his and kissing it, "I'm so proud of you, baby."

You smile and thank him, then put your head on his chest in hopes that he'll wrap his arms around you. With the amount of stress you've been under the past few days, all you want is just for him to hold you right now.

"I'm so proud of you," he repeats, swallowing you up in his arms.

You breathe in his scent and relax, knowing that even if you fail every class you ever take for the rest of your life, you will always have a place in the arms of this boy.

After a few minutes, you move to look up at him by resting your chin on his sternum, staring up at him. He smiles down at you, running a hand through your hair as an attempt to calm you down.

"Take me home, Rafe," you tell him quietly, and he nods.

He reaches down and takes your hand, leading you away from the building. You two go back and grab the remaining items you need to bring home, the rest Rafe already packed in the truck, and then go out to the parking lot to head home.

You feel relieved, ready to spend some quality time with Rafe and really make sure to work on things so that nothing ever gets bad between the two of you again.

He puts you into the truck and closes your door, then hops into the driver's side. He reaches over and takes your hand, staring at the ring on your finger and smiling softly.

"Let's just elope and get it over with," he looks up at you, already laughing because he knows you'll never agree.

"Yeah, I'm glad our wedding is something you just wanna get over with," you roll your eyes, but can't help your smile.

"You know what I mean," Rafe groans, "We don't need all the bullshit and the drama. I just need you. And a minister."

You laugh at him and nod, understanding what he means. He looks down at your hand in his, at the diamond on your finger, and so do you. You honestly can't remember why you took it off, you just know you never will again.

"A small wedding it is," you whisper.

He leans over and gives you a kiss. Then another. Then another. He pulls away and starts the truck, then looks back over a you.

"Baby, I'll do whatever you want."

That sentence combined with the cheesy smile he gives you afterward is what convinces you that, no matter what, Rafe will always be yours, and you will always be his.

Tags: @cmrxac

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