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#i guess if i wasn't at least a little sad about it I wouldn't be posting about it tho
neonpigeons · 2 years
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it's actually kind of funny that my dad didn't remember my birthday
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apollo-zero-one · 4 months
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Too old to be a kid too young to be an adult just the right age to cry myself to sleep
#every day I want to give up and go back to my mom's house and apologize for leaving#I'm still powerless here but this is unfamiliar. at least I knew what to expect there#I still had people to avoid and I still didn't want to leave my room but at least I knew I wouldn't be kicked out if I broke a rule#I'm so scared and so sad and I feel so small and so alone#all I want is a home that is mine that I can feel safe and secure in that I can retreat to that I can have power in#All I want is the safety ans security to take a break and to take care of myself#I want to be able to focus on my health for a little while my mental health is so so bad and my stupid brain has realized that I only get#help when it's visible so whenever my mental health gets bad like this I have these constant terrible urges to tear myself apart#The ideas are so vivid and so constant I want to tear my skin to ribbons and break all of my bones and gouge my eyes out and bite my tongue#I want to claw up my face and bite off my fingers and snap each of my ribs#I get phantom aches all over and my body is so tense and wound up and my heart beats so hard for hours and hours#I want to slam my head into a brick wall until something cracks and I hate myself I hate myself for this I hate myself for my selfishness#and for my weakness and for my existence and I want to vomit up my guts and I want my suffering to be real and treatable#I want someone to save me from myself. I want the pain to go away. But there isnt pain is there because its all in my head#I'm doing this to myself just like I have my entire goddamn life. My mom says I was born in pain and cried nonstop for a whole year. Then I#grew out of it and I was perfect. except no I wasn't because I wrote big long notes in phonetic spirals about how I deserve to die.#isn't that a sign?? Isnt that a sign?? i was born this way and things will never get any better they will only change and change and change#and still hurt in ways that I cant prove that I will second guess because maybe they aren't real and I'm just stupid useless helpless weak#when I bleed I can ask someone for a bandaid. when I... exist like this. I can't ask for anything. What helps? What helps? nothing really.#being useless helps until it doesn't. I have to work to pay for the chemicals that barely help. Why do innocent people die every day and not#me. when I pray for it. When I beg. And I'm not afraid to walk alone at night because NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO ME. Because I'm so lucky.#Soooo lucky. it isnt fair. She deserves it more than me. who? pick. anyone. Someone who wants it. Maybe who I could have been if I were#better. Not me. I dont get hurt. I dont get lost. I dont die. Maybe I cant maybe I never will. I'm more afraid of having to live like this.#My life is always on the line of not quite not quite and I never need help and I always need help and I'm never enough and I'm average.#the standard. the center. Above me dont need and below me do and I? What do I? both. neither. I shouldn't exist. It hurts to exist like this#in between. I should be able to do this myself. I'm the worst player on the best team and the best player on the worst and I don't fit in#either and everyone hates me for being one or the other and I can never be better so I want to be worse and thats my whole life in one#sentiment. I'm always at the bar and I can never get over it. I've been begging forever please lower your expectations I cant do better than#this. so I'll do worse. I'll make myself worse. I deserve it anyway. I'll be more scars than skin and more pain than person and then maybe#I'll belong somewhere god fucking knows even if its a padded room I could belong somewhere.
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hedgehog-moss · 8 months
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Today felt like the last day of summer... I spent a long time following a little stream, looking for the spot where I'd found wild currants last year. They had clearly moved to a different spot, or maybe I'm just bad at finding things again because the only landmarks my brain finds worth remembering are stuff like "there were two baby cows to the left" or "there was a majestic hawk perched on a fencepost." I did know the currants grew near a waterfall that's near a little hamlet, and (unlike the baby cows) both were still here one year later.
Half an hour into our quest Pandolf had decided we must be looking for water, so he stopped like "Here!!" every time he found a noteworthy watery spot, it was very sweet.
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Eventually I resigned myself to the fact that I wasn't going to find my favourite berries this year, and I went back to the road—and found raspberries instead! The last ones of the summer...
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I was like "I accept this consolation prize, world, thank you" and had started picking raspberries when I heard soft dainty footsteps on the road behind me. On reflex I said "Bonjour !" as I was turning around and then realised I'd just said bonjour to this lady:
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She walked up to me like she was about to ask me for directions, but then went right past me and walked on with the same purposeful air.
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She stopped to admire the view above the waterfall like an old lady on her routine evening walk, then she was on her way.
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Pandolf and I went in the opposite direction, to go home, and we soon found another pony who was clearly the first one's pasture mate. This one was in her pasture and she looked sad and abandoned (and/or outraged). She kept pacing and then stopping behind the fence and whinnying.
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After we crossed the hamlet we saw a guy on his tractor on the road—he was on his way to a pasture where you could see a little herd of cows who had formed an orderly queue in front of their milking parlour. It was evening milking time and the ladies knew it.
Cows queue like British citizens, I mean very politely and patiently, but still I didn't want to keep them waiting so I hesitated to stop the guy to tell him about the fugitive. I chose the compromise of trotting besides his tractor to give him the news, and the tractor was very loud so he couldn't hear me well and I had to sort of convey the concept of escaped ponyhood with hand gestures. The guy looked in the direction I was indicating and then nodded and moved his arms in a philosophical gesture of total acceptance, like, "Such is life." Or maybe it was "Not my pony, not my problem."
I on the other hand feel a deep sense of community with people who have escape artist animals, so I ended up turning back to see if I could at least orient the pony in the vague direction of her pasture. I found her at a crossroads, wondering where tonight's walk would take her.
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When I tried to go around her and shoo her back in the right direction, she went off the road and down by the stream, which wasn't the plan, and Pandolf happily followed her then barked at me like "hey!! water!!" Our search for water had ended but I followed them to humour him—and! I found some wild currants! down by the little bridge that the pony was waiting for me to notice like some mystical guide.
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There were no actual berries to be found, I'm a bit too late for that, but I got some cuttings to transplant near my house and since I thought I was going to go home empty-handed it made me feel successful anyway.
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So maybe the pony saw me meandering near her pasture looking for currants and decided to escape so she could help me out. A criminal with a heart of gold. If I'd walked by the bridge I might have seen the currants without her help because, guess what, last year's hawk, Guardian of the Gooseberries, was still there on his fencepost nearby. What a good landmark! But I wouldn't have walked by the bridge without the pony's prompting as I had already given up on my search, so she did escape for a good cause.
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I tried to use the currants as bait to attract the pony (let's call her Mrs Berry) towards her pasture, but after I pulled the leaves out of her reach for the third time I lost her trust and she stopped paying attention to me. So I had to go back to the good old method to make shetland ponies move, i.e. walk behind her and occasionally pretend-kick in the direction of her bum, the way you'd shepherd a reticent pigeon.
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Her friend looked pretty indifferent upon seeing her again, so I think she wasn't whinnying out of worry but because she's a Pirlouit (a snitch).
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I opened the pasture gate but Mrs Berry had absolutely no intention of going home so early. She went in the opposite direction, for a little stroll around her hamlet. (Look at Pandolf merrily leading the way! He loves escape artist animals, he thinks they're so much more fun than everybody else.)
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Nobody was home in the house by the pasture and I decided to let Mrs Berry stroll, now that she was no longer on the road walking away towards the distant horizon. I figured she must be a Pampérigouste, a known local personage who goes out for an adventure every now and then. We let her have her harmless fun in the two and a half streets of her little village, and since we had lost some time following this pony round, the sun was now quite low and Pan was all prettily backlit as he frolicked on the way home <3
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hyunniesgirl · 4 months
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Bad intentions | Part 1
Pairing: nerd!Han Jisung x popular!reader(afab)
Summary: you thought you could turn Han Jisung into the perfect boyfriend material so you can get revenge on your cheating ex. Little did you know that you would end up getting much more than just a guy to show off.
Genre: fluff, angst, smut(for the story in general, this part has no smut)
Words count: 8,056
Slightly inspired in the movie She's All That
*This is the second fic to my series Love is a mess. The stories can be read as standalones but they are all connected so some details mentioned may sound off.
Disclaimer: Jisung is proud asf, OC has kind of a sad backstory and has anxiety(not explored very deeply but there are descriptions of her symptoms), this part is just suggestive so no smut
Part 2
This story is NSFW and is going to have +18 themes so MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
A/N: okay for the sake of the plot let's pretend for a moment that Han Jisung can be considered anything other than smocking hot, alright?
A/N²: My idea was for all the stories from this series to be oneshots but I just kept writing and writing and this one was almost 13k already and I haven't even gotten to the good part so I thought "I almost never read anything over 10k" so I split the oneshot for the sake of my readers attention span.
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Jisung likes to think that he's better than all the guys fawning over you, he likes to think that even if he had a chance, he'd never lust over you. But well, sometimes a strong denial turns out to be an implicit affirmation.
It all started in social studies, he was trying to go over his notes for the test but the conversations happening at the same time didn't let him pay any attention to what was written in the sheets. There were five different conversations happening at the same time, but they all had the same subject: you.
Apparently, you had a boyfriend who cheated on you with a girl from a rival university? Or some trivial shit like that. Jisung doesn't understand why that matters to anyone but you and the said boyfriend. He doesn't understand why everyone feels like such a painful experience is any of their business. But he guesses it comes with the job.
Everyone knows you, you're the classic cheer captain, who dates — or dated — the infamous quarterback in the football team. People envy you, cherish you, they want to be you and he always thought they loved you, but after hearing so many snarky comments about you in the last 20 minutes, he's actually starting to pity you.
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You wanted to kill him, Seunghoon, that bastard. He destroyed a relationship of a year just to get in someone's pants? Fucking idiot. You hate him so much for cheating on you, but you hate him the most for not showing up kneeling at your door and asking for forgiveness. Who does he think he is? He would never have gotten his position on the football team if it wasn't for you, everyone knows that.
It's an understatement to say you are always the best in everything you put your mind into and if you're not the best by nature, you work hard until you become the best. You are smart, pretty, popularity is your thing, you're used to getting everyone's attention wherever you go. Everyone loves you, or at least they pretend well enough.
So when you started dating this guy, who was a nobody it was pretty shocking for everyone else. You turned him into the most popular guy so he could stay by your side, so you expected a little bit of loyalty from him. Guess that was expecting too much from a horny dog like him.
You did love Seunghoon, you wouldn't have dated him for a year if you didn't. But his character was always questionable, that, you won't deny. There's that saying that love makes you blind but you knew that he's no good and yet stayed with him, that's on you.
You can't stand the pity looks people give you when you walk down the hallway, they could at least pretend they are not talking shit about you behind your back.
To think the semester has only just started, you wish you could take a year off to make sure things die down nicely. But if you do, you'll definitely lose your position as cheer captain, there are too many people willing to get rid of you so they can get your title.
It's best for you to try and get rid of these thoughts, so you hold your head high turning on a corner, decided to pretend everything is okay. That's when you bump into someone, dropping the books you have in your hands and your phone screen down on the floor, gasping immediately, the last thing you need right now is a broken phone.
When you lean over to collect your things, the person who bumped into you does the same, going for the phone at the same time and touching hands with you. A strange wave of electricity makes your whole body shiver by that touch, making you snap your head in the direction of the person.
You know him. He's one of the members of 3racha, a music group everyone loves. Curiously, this is the first time you have seen him outside of a presentation. He's clearly different from the other members, wearing baggy clothes and displaying a hair that's undeniable too long with some questionable choice of colors on it. You can't even really see his eyes, however, he has something about him that makes you refuse to take your eyes off him.
He grabs your book and phone, ignoring your shameless stare. Standing up and handing your things to you.
“Sorry, I can pay for your phone's repair”, he says and for the first time in a minute you can divert your eyes from him, looking at the screen, absolutely shattered and sighing.
“No, it's okay. I was the one who was distracted”, you smile, tucking your hair behind your ear. Why do you feel the sudden urge to flirt with him? He's not even your type. Or at least, that's what you think.
He hums, not really interested, taking a paper out of his bag and writing something on it.
“Here, this is my number if you change your mind”, he gives you the paper, saying goodbye and disappearing somewhere in the hallway.
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When you finally meet Seunghoon, he doesn't even apologize, actually, he doesn't look regretful at all. He has a smug smile, as if what he did is not serious, as if he's better than you now.
You always had a thought in the corner of your mind that maybe he had some kind of inferiority complex when it came to you, but you didn't think he would go as far as to cheat on you just to prove he is better in some way.
“You don't harbor hard feelings, right?” He smirks, chin up. “I know you're much better than me, I'm sure you won't mind what happened and we can still be friends”, he's mocking you, you recognize that tone.
You're grasping the fabric of your skirt under the table, did he really pull you away from your practice to say this? The audacity of this man.
“Of course I don't mind”, you smile kindly, acting as unbothered as you possibly can. This is something you learned in so many years of having eyes on you all the time: pretend. You won't give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry or even get mad. If you are able to pretend you don't care at all about him, that's what you're gonna do.
“I'm glad-”, his smile falters a bit, you are sure he expected you to break. That shows how little he knows about you, you would never make a scene in public.
“Actually, I'm even seeing someone else already”, you blurt out, trying to make him more baffled and it works, he frowns and the look of confusion in his face is priceless.
“Well, that's great for you”, Seunghoon clears his throat, trying to regain his composure. “We should definitely go on a double date sometime”
“Of course, I'd love that”, you nod, standing up. “I'll be going now, but it was great seeing you”, you lie, turning around and walking back to the gymnasium.
When it sinks in what you just did, you want to hit your head against the wall. What the hell was that? Why would you even tell him you're seeing someone when you're not? For fucksake, you're sure he's too proud to let this go, he'll try to find out who it is that you're seeing and when he finds out you lied, you'll be done for, faced with utter humiliation again.
“Why would you tell him you're seeing someone?” Mina asks, looking at you like you are the dumbest person alive, and honestly, you do feel like that at the moment.
“I don't know”, you cry out, “I guess I wanted him to feel miserable”
“And look where that got you”, Miyeon says, worriedly.
“I know, I'm an idiot”, you tell them and your friends nod, making you glare at them. “Well, I guess I'll just have to find a new boyfriend”, you say, dreadfully.
“You know it's not that easy”, Mina says, “you built Seunghoon from the scratch to the guy he is today, it won't have the same effect if you get just anybody that people already see everyday, it has to be shocking”
“Well, I don't know”, you sigh, “is there even someone like that here?”
“I don't know”, Miyeon says, “you need someone charming, someone who people can't take their eyes off”
“It won't be good if he's already known, it should be someone who's usually invisible”, Mina completes.
You sigh, there's only one person you can think of who instantly fits that description.
“What about him?” Miyeon takes you out of your thoughts, pointing to someone behind you. “Isn't he part of 3racha?”
“I mean, he fits what we are looking for”, Mina says.
You turn around, finding the guy you bumped on a few days ago sitting at the table behind you, you're sure you can remember his name if you just try a little harder. He's sitting with Changbin, the other guy from 3racha who is kind of your friend.
“But is there something for you to do there?” Mina looks at him with squinted eyes, trying to see how you could improve him.
“He's cute”, you check him out shamelessly, nodding to yourself.
“I'm not sure if you could make Seunghoon jealous with cuteness”, she shrugs.
“He's not just cute”, you bit your bottom lip, thinking hard. “He could use a different haircut and maybe a new wardrobe but I see a lot of potential in there”
“Well”, Mina sighs in defeat, “let's make a bet them”
“Are you in middle school?” You ask her, rolling your eyes.
“If you can make Seunghoon regret cheating on you, I'll give up on trying for cheer captain next semester”, she ignores your question, stretching her hand for you to shake it.
“As if you were going to win anyway”, you joke.
Of course she could win, Mina is your best friend and also the best dancer you know, she could easily steal your position if you didn't try so hard to keep it, so you do what you have to do, shaking her hand even though you don't have a good feeling about it.
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It's been a few days since you decided to make Jisung your new boyfriend, you just haven't figured out how to approach him. For starters, you can't even find him in this damn university, how the hell can a member from a trio as popular as 3racha just walk around without being noticed? That's a mystery you'll have to solve later.
“Jisung? Why would you want me to set you up with him?” Changbin asks, confused.
“Well, I find him cute”, you shrug, that's not a lie.
“He's not your type, he's totally different from Seunghoon”, he stares at you with a brow raised, sipping from his drink.
“Why would I want someone like Seunghoon? My reputation is almost ruined because of that guy”, you say.
“You got a point”, Changbin sighs, “let me talk to him first”, he can feel something is up but with all the mess happening in his life already, he doesn't have the energy to dig any deeper.
Jisung stares at his friend for about five minutes, no words being said. Why would someone like you want to go out with someone like him?
He's pretty popular because of 3racha, but not near as popular as you or your friend group. Everyone knows he's an awkward guy, when he's on stage his personality changes, he's confident, it feels great, like he could conquer the world, but when he goes back to real life, he just doesn't feel the need to be perceived. Jisung doesn't have a reason to be popular outside of the stage, he's fine with being invisible.
“So, what do you think?” Changbin asks.
“I don't know”, Jisung shrugs.
“Think carefully, it's not everyday that someone like y/n wants to go on a date with an ordinary guy”, the older one insists.
Well, maybe he likes being ordinary. He always thought he wouldn't be like those guys who would do anything for a pretty girl, now it's his chance to prove it.
“You can tell her that I appreciate the thought, but I don't think it's a good idea”, Jisung says, confidently. Even though he wants to punch himself after saying it.
Changbin sighs.
“If you're sure about it”, he shrugs, standing up and walking to the kitchen.
What if he's just letting his prejudice get in the way of meeting someone nice? He sighs to himself, there's nothing he can do about it now.
Well, that's unexpected. Did you go so low as to be rejected by just anybody? How could Jisung not even accept a single date with you? Are you ugly? No, you're sure it's not that. Are you boring? It's not that either, of course. You don't think there's a single thing that would make him turn you down. Maybe you're not his type? No, you're everyone's type.
You won't give up, though. Han Jisung has too much potential for you to just leave him be, you're sure you can make him be even better than Seunghoon ever was. So you march to social studies, you asked Changbin who reluctantly told you that Jisung takes that class.
You enter the classroom earning a few glances, smiling kindly at the people you know and introducing yourself to the ones you don't.
Jisung is seated in the corner, writing something on his notebook, earbuds on. You walk up to him, sitting by his side and waiting for him to notice you, which doesn't take long. He feels a presence too close to him, making him turn to look at you.
He frowns, taking his earbuds slowly, trying to process your present so close to him.
“How can I help you?” He asks and you tilt your head, he's even cuter up close.
“I heard you turned me down”, you say, leaning over the desk to watch him.
“Yeah, sorry”, he shrugs nonchalantly, hurting your pride even more. He should feel at least a bit apologetic, shouldn’t he?
“What do I have to do for you to go out with me?” You push more. You even came here looking for him, you're not going to be discouraged just by a bit of indifference.
“Why do you want to go out with me anyway?” He frowns, it’s not that he doesn’t want to say yes, it’s just that every time that he feels tempted to actually lust over you his pride gets a little more hurt, did you think there was no chance of you being rejected by him?
“Well, I like you. You're cute”, you tell him as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
“You don't even know me”, he scoffs, ignoring the fact that you called him cute.
“That's exactly why I want to go out with you, dummy. So I can get to know you better”, you smile, knowing he won't be able to get out of this situation without telling you why he won't go out with you.
“Well, you’re not my type”, he clears his throat, adjusting himself on his seat and trying to sound convincing, you’re clearly everyone’s type. “And I don’t think we would have much to talk about”
You’re going to fight him on this, argue that you’re a very interesting person that can talk about a lot of things, but the professor enters the classroom, eyeing you and tilting his head in confusion, since you passed this class last semester.
“I’m going to let it go for now”, you stand, “but don’t think you’re getting rid of me”, you huff, walking out of the class. He sure is stubborn, but you’re more.
Jisung feels like he's in those movies with a stalker following him around. You know, when the protagonist is sure that someone is watching them but every time they look around there's no one there? Except that in his case, you're always there. Every place he goes has you in it, glaring at him.
You're not actually glaring at him, even though he thinks you're. You're just shocked that he still hasn't come around to accepting going out with you, so you have to stare at him because you have to understand him. Why is he so different from the other guys? Of course you don't think you're better than anyone, but since news of your break up with Seunghoon broke out, your phone has been blowing up with texts from guys you didn't even know had your number, saying weird things and asking you out. So why is the only person you want to hear from, not giving a shit about you?
You ask Changbin's help but he refuses to meddle anymore than he already has, saying that he knows your intentions are not entirely good so he won't help anymore.
“Did you know we have a class with your new crush?” Mina says while looking at herself in the mirror of the clothes store you're visiting.
“What?” You take your eyes out of your phone to look at her, you have been staring at your screen for thirty minutes, trying to fight the urge to just call Jisung. He gave you his number so you could charge him with the repair of your broken phone but you already had it fixed, maybe you could use that little incident to your advantage.
“We have French with him, you chose Spanish, right?” Miyeon asks, looking around to see if she likes anything.
“Are you for real?” You ask and she looks at you, nodding. “Do you think there are still open spots in your class?” You ask, lost in thoughts.
“You're not going to switch classes just so you can get close to him, right?” Mina turns around to look at you, a brow raised in questioning. “Right?” She presses after you don't answer.
“I kinda prefer French though”, you smirk, standing up. “The school's office is still open now, isn't it?” You ask and both of your friends exchange looks, sighing and shaking their heads, sure that you're a lost cause.
It was not difficult to switch classes, you used up all your charm with the office’s secretary so she wouldn't argue too much about it. You just need a warm smile, some tiramisu and to compliment her nails.
You enter the class smiling victoriously, seeing your friends seated side by side and finding Jisung sitting alone in the back. You waltz over there, putting your things on the desk and sitting by his side.
Jisung takes a deep breath, side eyeing you for a moment.
“Are you serious right now?” He sighs, “you know you can't just keep coming to my classes, right? That's lowkey stalking”, he argues, making you chuckle.
“I don't know what you're talking about”, you shrug, “I'm enrolled in this class”, you tell him, pulling a paper with your schedule printed on it and showing it to him. “This is the only spot available”
He looks around to check, biting his bottom lip, embarrassed. He should have checked before assuming things but that doesn't change the fact that you have been around him too much lately.
“Okay”, he sighs, fidgeting on his seat.
“If I'm really making you uncomfortable I can find somewhere else to sit”, you say, even though you want to make him give in and accept to go out with you, you don't want him to feel genuinely bothered by you.
Jisung on the other hand feel likes he can give in at any moment, the second time he saw you looking at him he wanted to stand up and just go to you, telling you he would accept to go out with you, fuck his pride.
“It's okay”, he clears his throat, “You can sit whatever you want”, he says, making you smirk.
“I mean, are you sure?” You lean in his direction, glancing at his lap.
Jisung chokes immediately, coughing so much he thinks he's going to die, you didn't mean what he thinks you do, right?
Class starts before you can mess with him a little bit more, you didn't think you would have so much fun teasing someone.
Jisung stands up and leaves as soon as the professor says the class ended, he doesn't want to stay close to you for a minute more. He couldn't pay attention to class because your scent kept coming his way. He would glance at you and you wouldn't even be acknowledging him, paying 100% of attention in class. It did make him upset that he didn't seem to cause the same reaction in you as you do to him.
Except that, as stated before, you're very good at pretending. You really wanted to tease him every time you caught him staring at you, you could see everything he was doing with your peripheral vision and you wanted to giggle with every time he pouted while looking at you.
That's proof enough for you that not being his type it's not the reason why he's reluctant to go out with you but you didn't even think about the possibility of him not liking girls at all.
“As far as I know, he does like girls”, Changbin tells you. “I'm not sure about guys though, maybe he does too?”
“Well, that's good then”, you sigh, crossing your arms and nodding to yourself, lost in thoughts.
Changbin stares at you for a moment, with a brow raised. “Binnie, can't you help me out? Just this once” You plead again, giving him puppy eyes.
“Nope, I'm not sure what your intentions are but what I know is that you don't do things without a reason”, he shakes his head.
You sigh, poking the inside of your cheek with your tongue, you know how to convince Changbin but it's the first time in your life that you have to resort to such dirty methods.
“You know, I met someone really nice one of these days”, you tell him, smiling friendly. “She's really cute and she has been helping me in a class we have together”, Changbin glares at you. “I think you know her, but she doesn't seem to like you at all…” You pout, making a show.
“What are you trying to say?” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I'm trying to say that if you help me out, I can do the same”, you shrug, “you have so many virtues, Binnie, I'm confident I can make her see you in a different light”
You can at least try to convince her that Changbin is a good guy even though she's absolutely sure that he's bad news.
“Are you saying I should sell out my best friend so you can help me?” You see Changbin hesitate and that's when you push a little more.
“Come on, it's not like I'll do something awful to him”, you say, “I just want one date”
He sighs, nodding.
“Okay, alright”, he grunts. “I'll help you out just this one time and that's it”
“You're the best!” You say, clapping your hands excitedly.
This is definitely not how you thought the help would happen. The sun is burning your skin and the giggles of people around you are making you stressed. A pool party, why did he think this was going to be a good idea?
Just because you're at the same party as Jisung it doesn't mean you'll get a chance to talk to him or even accomplish your goal but even though the odds are against you, you are still going to try.
The day is too hot, the pool is bustling with people and you're uncomfortable in your bikini. In most days you love your body, you think you're pretty just the way you are but sometimes you have bad days, where you feel like everyone is staring at every single flaw you have.
You came to the party because you couldn't lose the opportunity but you can't see Jisung anywhere and your anxiety is only growing bigger. So as soon as you get the chance to escape, you do it. You wander around the frat house, looking for a place with no one, maybe Changbin's room is empty since he pretty much doesn't live in the house.
You walk up the stairs, swerving in the middle of the crowd who are talking and laughing with drinks in their hands, it's very overwhelming.
The corridor where the rooms are have less people, so you walk until the end to find Changbin's nameplate on the door. You knock twice to make sure there's no one there, the music in the pool is pretty loud so you can't hear if there are voices in the room but you wait a few seconds so people can get dressed if there is someone fucking there. You open the door slowly, finding the room empty. Hurrying inside and closing the door so no one sees you going in.
It's a pretty huge room with things that suit Changbin's personality to a T. There's gym equipment all over the place, a big bed in the middle, a door you can only guess leads to a private bathroom and a TV that you're not sure was ever used. But again, your friend only comes by the house once in a while since he lives in an apartment downtown with Chan and Jisung.
Changbin managed to convince Jisung that it would be a good way to promote 3racha if they threw a party and it didn't take much convincing to the frat president since that guy loves partying.
You sit by the bed, trying to take deep breaths. The burning sensation in your chest is easing a bit with the calm and silence of the room. Silence that is immediately interrupted by the door of the bathroom being opened, just to show a half naked Han Jisung coming out of there with just a towel wrapped around his waist.
You two stare at each other for a minute, both not sure what to do next, both frozen. You manage to stand up, turning your back to him, face burning with embarrassment.
“I'm sorry, I didn't know there was someone already here”, you clarify. “I- I knocked on the door”, you inform him as if that could change anything.
Jisung finds your reaction funny, he didn't take you for the shy type, who gets flustered by seeing a man like this.
“I was showering, I didn't hear the knock”, he says, walking to Changbin's wardrobe to get some clothes he leaves there for eventual emergencies since the frat house is closer than his house to the university.
“Yeah, I guessed that”, you gulp, trying to calm your beating heart. You didn't get to take a good look at him, but the little you did made you quite surprised. Jisung is pretty athletic and hot.
“You can turn around now”, he says. You do it slowly, still embarrassed.
“I'm sorry again”, you sigh.
“It's okay, it can happen”, he shrugs, sitting on the bed. He can't help but look at you too for a moment, you're wearing a deep green bikini that goes perfectly with the tone of your skin. You have a thin transparent shirt that doesn't leave much to the imagination making him bite his bottom lip. If you try to make a move on him again right now, he won't be able to say no.
However, his not very pure thoughts are interrupted by your uneasiness, shifting your weight from a leg to another, hands trying to cover your thighs. Did he look at you for too long? Did he make you uncomfortable? Jisung diverts his gaze from you immediately, he's always proud to say that he's not the same as the other guys who are just horny and nothing more, but look at him now.
“I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable”, he stands up, ready to leave the room, “I'm sorry”
“No, you didn't make me uncomfortable”, you say, taking a step closer to him to stop him from leaving. “I was already feeling not great”, you clarify.
“Did something happen?” He asks, worried.
“No- I-”, you stop yourself from talking more, why do you actually want to talk to him about your problems? You don't even know him. “I'm having a bad day, my self esteem is kinda low so I feel like everyone is staring at every single flaw I have”
Jisung stops for a moment, malfunctioning. His head tilting to the side as he stares at you with furrowed brows.
“Exactly which “flaws” are we talking about?” He asks, making quotes with his fingers.
“I don't know”, you glance down to your feet, feeling embarrassed. “There are so many girls here who are much prettier than me”, you sigh, “oh, I'm not jealous of them, they are great. I'm a huge activist of women hyping up other women”, you add quickly. “Usually I won't let myself compare to other people, but when I'm having one of these days I just can't help to think things like: is my hair pretty enough? Should I go on a diet? Maybe I should hit the gym more often so I can look like that”, you sigh, you sound ridiculous. You are supposed to make him want to go out with you, not scare him with all your insecurities.
Jisung stares at you for a few seconds, realization hitting him. So you're human too, he already knew that, but seeing the pretty and popular y/n come out of the pedestal people built for her, makes him believe that maybe you're very different from what he thought about you.
“I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this”, Jisung clears his throat, trying to not sound like an idiot, “but I think you're pretty and even though you may have some flaws, everyone has. I can assure you yours are not in your looks”
You feel your cheeks growing hotter, that's surprising, a guy never managed to make you blush.
“But you said I'm not your type”, you pout, seizing the opportunity to tease him.
“Well, I had to say something so you would stop coming after me”, he sighs, “clearly it didn't work”
“So, will you go out with me?” You ask, hopeful and he sighs.
“Why do you want to go out with me so badly?”
“I already told you, you're cute. Also, you make me feel at ease”, it's not a lie. Jisung is the first person other than your friends that effortlessly makes you comfortable.
“Fine”, he huffs, “I already gave you my number so just text me”, he tells you and you smile, is this finally happening? Did he finally say yes?
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You planned a whole date in an amusement park, it's cliche for a first date, although you never really went on a date there. You have never done this before for any guy you dated, but there's something about Han Jisung, you just want him to like you.
He's waiting for you in front of the park, looking nervous while scrolling through his phone. You bend down a bit, tilting your head to make him notice you.
“Hey”, you smile waiting for his greeting that doesn't come. Jisung is not easily impressionable but you just leave him speechless every time, he always takes a few seconds to take in your beauty before his brain starts functioning again.
That's the reaction you wanted from him and you are glad you managed to get it. You spent almost four hours getting ready, changed outfits at least ten times and did and redid your makeup over and over. In the end, you chose a natural look. You put on a tight high waisted skirt, a tank top and sneakers since you would be walking a lot. Your hair is down and your make-up is light, so it won't get smudged by hot weather.
“H-hi”, Jisung says, trying to recompose himself, he's not sure if he should comment on how pretty you look or if that would make you uncomfortable.
He can't help but think that it's wrong of him to be there with someone like you, someone totally out of his reach.
“What should we do first?” You ask excitedly, it's been years since the last time you went to an amusement park with your family.
“I think we can walk for a bit and see what catches our attention”, he says and you nod, walking into the park.
There are so many people, Jisung can't help but notice how you're looking around like a child getting to know a new place.
“Do you come often to these kinds of places?” He asks.
“Hm, not really”, you answer, turning around to look at him. “The last time was when I was a child probably”
“Oh?” He frowns. “You seemed excited, I thought your ex boyfriend must have brought you here at least a few times”
“Yeah, well, he was not really the romantic type”, you shrug, a sad smile on your lips.
Jisung doesn't like that, you always look confident and happy, he doesn't want to see you sad again.
“He is an idiot then”, he avoids your gaze, looking around while speaking, “If I had a girlfriend like you, I would move heavens and earth to make her happy”
You feel your heart skip a bit, your cheeks growing warmer and in a few seconds your whole face is burning. You can't believe Han Jisung is making you blush again, saying these words that are messing with your heartbeat.
“Should we go to the haunted house?” You ask awkwardly, trying to change the subject, pointing to the building at the end of the park. You try not looking at him, not sure if your cheeks are still red.
He hums, not really understanding why you look so flustered, he's sure you must hear this kind of thing all the time.
You two enter the house, looking around while walking into the dark. You were very confident in the beginning, you love horror movies, but jump scares are really not your cup of tea and that's the problem. The moment a doll(you assume) holding a knife with a ghost face mask pops out of nowhere you jump… into Jisung's arms. The way his arms immediately wrap around you in a protective position does something to your heart and honestly you feel hot all over.
You didn't even notice the little scares he got, or how he squeezed you every time some scary character showed up. The only thing you noticed was his unexpected strong arms embracing you the whole time until you left the haunted house.
Jisung didn't want to let you go. The moment he felt the cold breeze touching his skin, he knew he had to step back, you are not scared anymore. But he just doesn't want to. You look fragile, shy, endearing. Jisung shakes his head, he shouldn't be thinking this, he thought he would be immune to your charms, but it turns out that he understands now why all those guys fawned over you.
He tries taking a step back, threatening to get away from you but you snuggle closer to him, a hand swinging fast to your shoulder so you could grip his hand in place.
“Can- can you keep holding me for a bit?” You ask awkwardly, not really wanting to look him in the eye.
You had no idea you missed being touched this much, you never noticed how cold Seunghoon’s touch was until you felt Jisung's warm hands on you. You're embarrassed for looking so fragile in front of him but not enough for you to let go, not at that moment.
“Yeah, sure”, he tells you, coming closer again and squeezing you against his chest. “Should we walk around for a bit?”
You nod, too lost in his scent to say anything.
Jisung felt strange for a moment. He's not used to letting his instincts take control, he's a very restrained guy. But he can't help but peek at your thighs when the skirt you're wearing rides up a bit, you're tiptoeing while trying to shoot the target with the water gun you have in your hands, like that would help you win.
“Do you really want that plushie?” He asks when you lose once more. “You could probably buy a better one with the money you're spending”, he points out and you pout.
“Where's the fun in that?” You cross your arms in front of your chest. “It's so much more exciting to win the prize”
Jisung finds you cute, you are just so different from all the rumors and how he thought you would be. Other than being someone who's high and mighty or arrogant, you're cute and funny.
Defeated, he sighs, paying for another round. This time he's the one trying.
It's difficult the first time. He never played this game so he has to get used to and understand how to win.
Jisung doesn't notice but you're not looking at the booth or to the target, you're looking at his face. He looks more handsome when he's focused, he has his lips pressed in a thin line and his grip on the water gun makes you shudder just thinking about how that grip would feel on you.
After a few tries, Jisung wins, asking you to choose what plushie you want.
“That one”, you point to the big quokka hanging in the wall. “It looks a bit like you”, you say when you get the plushie, lifting enough so you can compare it with Jisung.
“I'm cuter”, he pouts.
“Definitely”, you assure him, hugging your new plushie while Jisung’s ears grow hotter.
“Should we go to the ferris wheel?” He asks, looking at the time. It'll probably be your last ride since it's already late.
“Yes!” You jump excitedly, “I never had the chance before”, you say while you two walk in the direction of the big attraction.
“Not even when you were a child?” He asks, remembering you said that was the last time you went to an amusement park.
“My parents are not very fun to be around and my little brother was too young”, you say, shaking your head, “I was never very proficient in doing things by myself so I just didn't go”, you shrug.
Jisung feels that there's more to unpack into that topic, but he's not sure if you want to talk about it with him or right now. So he just slides his arm over your shoulder, surprising you by his bold move. You can feel your cheeks growing hot, are you blushing again?
When you hear the gears turning, excitement spreads all over your body but as soon as the cabin stops in the air, you're not so confident anymore.
“It's quite high, isn't it?” you say, looking down, feeling a little dizzy.
“Are you afraid of heights?” Jisung asks, panicked, seeing your face turning pale.
“No, of course not”, you shake your head frantically while shrinking in your seat, “I can't, I'm always at the top of the pyramid in our cheer stunts”, you tell him.
A sudden wave of air brushes over the cabin, making it shake slightly and you turn even more pale if that's even possible.
“You know it's different right?” He grabs you by the arm, pulling you closer to him. Jisung slides one of his hands on your waist, squeezing you close to him and with the other hand he cups your face, making you look at him. “Keep looking at me, you don't have to look down”
Jisung doesn't know why he feels this urge to protect you, of all the people he knows, you're probably the one he thinks needs the least protection. You keep staring at him, he is pretty, his lips are plump and inviting.
“Are you going to kiss me?” You ask when he licks his lips, huge doe eyes staring at him and waiting.
“Do you want me to?” He asks back, not really sure of what to do. Jisung is not certain, his heart is beating fast and his hands are sweating, you look so beautiful, so close to him.
So when you nod, he just loses control of every part of himself that was holding him back. He's sure after this, there's no going back, he's lost forever, but maybe he doesn't mind if it means it's you he's lost in.
His lips are soft, clumsily pressing against yours. You can tell he's unsure of how to proceed then why does his grip on you make you burn? He's squeezing your waist against his body like you're going to disappear if he doesn't hold you strongly and the hand he has cupping your cheeks, slowly slides to your hair, pulling it lightly, making you whimper.
In an instant his lips are not on yours anymore, he's trailing kisses down to your neck. You shiver, feeling his warm lips against your cold skin.
“Ah, Ji-Jisung”, you gasp when he bites your neck, sucking the area so deliciously it makes you bite your lips so you won't moan.
He hears your plea, kissing you once again and you notice you are the one that didn't know how to proceed. You've been squirming in his hands this whole time without touching him at all. You take a hand to his face, caressing his cheek and the other goes to his hip, pulling you even closer to him but before you can go further, the shake of the cabin going back down takes you out of your haze. You're in public, you had absolutely forgotten about that.
You stop the kiss, giving a peck on his lips before moving away. He looks disheveled, lips swollen and eyes searching for yours in an attempt to know exactly what you are thinking. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Now that he got a taste of something he should have remained oblivious to, he's not sure he'll be able to let go.
The ride home was awkward, to say the least. You are silent the whole time and Jisung is freaking out. He can't help but think he screwed up really badly. How the hell could he make you lose all interest with just a couple of kisses? Did he go too far by giving you a hickey? Maybe you don't like this kind of thing, you're a cheerleader after all, your image is important.
You on the other hand, have too many thoughts running through your mind, never did a man make you feel so desired with just a kiss. The way he embraced you so possessively was too much for you, Seunghoon never did anything like that. You were always the one searching for his touch, for some affection but it was never quite enough. His touches never really gave you what you wanted, you always thought it was weird, you thought maybe there was something wrong with you.
But how could Jisung make you feel so many things with a simple touch? A simple kiss? You're so lost in thoughts that you don't even notice when the car stops.
“We’re here”, Jisung says, not really looking at you.
You look at him, seeing him biting his bottom lip while squeezing the wheel.
“I had fun”, you tell him, shyly. His head snaps at you, a deep scowl on his face.
“You did?” He asks confused and you giggle, tilting your head.
“Yeah”, you bite your bottom lip, leaning over him without breaking eye contact. “I thought I made it clear by almost melting in your arms while you kissed me”, you tease, seeing his ears growing red.
“I thought maybe I did something wrong, you were quiet”, he looks at you waiting for some more reassurance.
“I'm sorry”, you cup his face, caressing his cheek, “it's been a long time since I felt the way you made me feel, I needed time to recover”, you tell him, pulling him in for a brief kiss.
“Wait, but what about-”
“That's what I'm telling you”, you chuckle, bitterly, “can you imagine feeling more in a night than you ever felt in a year with someone else? It really makes a girl think”
“Ah”, he nods, understanding what you're saying now. “Then, can I call you when I get home?” He asks eagerly, now that he knows that you did enjoy your time with him.
“I'd be mad if you didn't”, you give a peck on his lips, getting out of the car and walking to your front door, waving goodbye to him.
Walking into your empty house you come back to reality. For a moment, just a moment, while having fun with Jisung, you forgot how lonely you really are. It's always been like this, you're already used to it.
Your parents always wanted a boy, so it was disappointing for them when they had a girl. They tried for years to have a boy, getting more and more frustrated as time went by. You were five when they finally made it, their desired son was born and you were left aside.
It's not like they gave you any attention before, but after your brother was born, you were completely forgotten. The first time you went to an amusement park was when you were eight. It was your birthday and you begged them to take you there but in the end you couldn't really enjoy anything. Your brother was too little to play in anything and your parents didn't really want to play with you.
You feel a single tear run down your cheek but you shake your head, you shouldn't be doing that right now. You had fun with Jisung but that's that, you don't want another heartbreak the same as with Seunghoon.
You feel your phone buzzing, taking it out of your pocket to see Jisung's name lightening the screen and an involuntary smile grows on your lips, completely ignoring what you just thought.
“Hey, did you arrive safely?” You ask, walking up the stairs.
“Yeah”, he says, not sure why exactly he wanted to call you. He already said goodnight to you, did he want to hear your voice again? Why is he being so weird tonight?
“Okay, that's good”, you chuckle, putting the phone on speaker to start undressing.
Jisung sits in his bed, he knows you're probably tired but he doesn't want to hang up.
“What are you doing?” He asks, hearing the shuffle on the other side of the line.
“I'm changing”, you answer nonchalantly, not knowing how red his whole face turns the moment you finish saying that.
He doesn't say anything, making you look to the phone to check if he's still there.
“Want some pictures?” You ask playfully, making him choke on his own breath, coughing violently.
“No, I mean we- we just had our first date- I- I don't want you to think- it's too soon”, he rambles saying all that in half a second, making you laugh genuinely while you wander around your room.
You snap a picture of yourself, sending it to him and he freezes when he sees the notification. When he opens the text though, you're wearing a cute pajama with bees stamped on it, making him laugh too.
“You're cute”, he says and you stop in your tracks.
“It's been years since someone last called me cute”, you pout, sliding under your covers.
Jisung guessed that much, your type of beauty is not on the cute side. You have sharp features, most people could say you're on the sexy side and he would too, before tonight. Now, under the cover of a popular hot girl, he found a girl who's hot and popular but can be cute and funny too.
“Goodnight, y/n”, he says, throwing himself back in the bed.
“Goodnight”, you say, feeling your eyes heavy after hearing his goodbye.
Part 2
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A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.
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anantaru · 1 year
Text
— not saying “i love you” back
including scaramouche, ayato, alhaitham, cyno x gn! reader
꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff, we‘re evil (especially in cyno's part)
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— scaramouche
"and please don't forget to buy some fruit!"
you sing over to your boyfriend, musing with a pacifying, settling timbre in your voice when scaramouche indisputably turned around one last time before leaving for the grand bazaar.
in any other occasion, the two of you would proceed to go together, hand in hand, strolling through the entirety of Sumeru City while sauntering in midst the many food vendors to stock up for the upcoming week.
"i will, stop repeating it all over again."
he's gutted, scrunching his eyebrows with indistinct wrinkles showing on his forehead, "i'm not stupid." obviously, kuni was barking back in his usual fashion, tiptoeing around the edge of your nerves.
"obviously you're the smartest."
you responded, with a crooked little grin accompanying your teasing, the taunting that had your boyfriend weak on the knees, making him all giddy but he wouldn't admit it, ever.
he sighs, acting a bit peeved, but in truth he could barely muffle a laugh, or a little giggle at least, "whatever, i'm leaving." your eyes follow him, watching as he walked towards the exit, speaking once more. "bye, love you."
"bye!"
okay, well, maybe you were evil after all.
you weren't sure what brought you to the realization that, yes, maybe now was the right time to poke fun at your boyfriend, provoke scaramouche to tickle a sweet, little reaction out of him.
the moment he had heard you speak, he didn't move, as if he was waiting for the last few sentences he was sure, you must've forgotten.
"really? is that all you got to say to me?"
scaramouche was swaying from leg to leg, left to right, killing time and fiddling his thumbs as his eyes dangerously proceeded to throw daggers on your resting frame, yearning for attention. "mhm!"
as it was, you didn't seem to care, at all, it was both irritating and off putting.
aside from how you were innocently resting on the couch while browsing and paging through a little picture book you bought a while back, you were still, ignoring him, thoroughly indulging in it.
right off the bat, his face tweaked, his left brow twitching in displeasure.
actually, there were two possible routes to take right now, he figured; one, he could either just brush it off and go on about his day or second, he'd go back and find out what he had possibly done wrong this time.
obviously it must've been something quite significant, because normally it's you who's saying 'i love you' first and he needed, no, he deserved to hear that, right now.
so .. how dare you forget about it just like that? without an inch of remorse?
scaramouche was standing upright, shoulders confidently jolted back, while walking to where you were sitting st, and you noticed, of course you did, yet you pretended you didn't, fully immersing yourself into your other activity.
"hey." he speaks lowly now, a little confused but he's got the sprit before carefully lowering himself next to you.
"what's so interesting about this?"
he's ignorantly swatting his hand towards the little book in your grasp, his eyes were now, a touch lower, as if he was sad and actually concerned. "weren't you going somewhere?"
you were expecting this, flawlessly guessing his next step.
yet you opted to burst the bubble before you'd end up giving your boyfriend a heart attack.
meanwhile scaramouche couldn't believe his own hearing, momentarily he was more than fed up, bewildered, "you know what? forget it."
he pursed his lips, you knew he wasn't good with words so when he made an effort to angrily get up from his seat, you quickly wiggled your arms around his waist to drag him down again, nuzzling into his back when scaramouche plopped back into the cushions with a low heave.
"i was just messing with you." you're clasping on him tighter, further when you noticed a slight shake in his body, "forgive me please."
you're mumbling, hardly a whisper, as scaramouche cradled his body to face you, his lips carved into a purse, it was visible on how displeased and worried he had gotten.
he's accepting your apology in his own ways, kind of.
curling himself into your hug and precisely positioning his lips so they’d ghost against your ear, "do this again and i‘ll get back at you." gently kissing your earlobe, "but so much harder."
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— ayato
"i will be free to retire from my duties tonight."
ayato spoke in a tranquil approach while applying a moisturizer on his face, gently massaging it into his skin.
"i'll fetch you later so you can join me for dinner."
it was quite usual for the both of you to plan your day ahead post slumber, above that going over ayato's schedule in particular which was mostly tightly packed and overfilled.
"sounds good to me." you're quick to slip into a cozy garment before lowering yourself to the vanity in his bedroom, smiling and carrying on to finish your daily routine.
taking this into consideration, ayato was set to start his day, slipping himself into his jacket before walking back to you once more.
he's lowering his face to charmingly nudge your jaw, "i'll be leaving now." his knuckles gently stroked down your nape while pondering softly.
subsequently, he quietly settled his lips on your cheek to plant a chaste goodbye kiss on you, "i love you."
that being done, ayato stood tall to walk out of your shared bedroom because normally, in any other instance, you'd say it back anyways, no reason for him to wait.
"until later!" your fingers moved idly over your face, not gifting him a single look back, whatever it was— that was developing right now, ayato at first, had no clue about it.
especially once he's almost reached the door, he figured, wait a minute, how come you still didn't say it back?
strange, he thought.
ayato narrowed his eyes and turned around, carefully observing you, extending all his senses in efforts to get behind the little mystery, and then, in the blink of an eye, it clicked and resonated in him.
"oh." ayato put his deepest, commanding voice, his scent, still hovering throughout the entire room, making you nervous, "so that's the little play you have issued for me today."
you're clearing your throat upon noticing the slight vibrations on the floor, emphasizing that he was walking towards you.
"i don't know what you're talking about, baby."
feigning innocence, you so early deciphered that it was in vein, coming from the mere fact that now, your boyfriend had an amusing grin spread across his smooth lips. "you don't know?"
he slowly clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, quietening his steps once reaching your body and placing his hands on top of your shoulders, watching you through the mirror of the vanity.
he's leaning forward, his shadow overcasting a spell on your body that had all your earlier confidence dissolved into nothingness, you caught yourself panicking and cradled your head to the side to meet his own.
"you know i'm utterly displeased if you act this way."
along the thin skin of your jaw, he planted short kisses on your flesh, his warm, minty breath ghosting over your face, "what way?"
you really wanted to know it now, desired to jump into the cold water without any safety measures.
you took a hard swallow and prolonged the eye contact, "like a brat."
you crooked a smile and then laughed, breathlessly giggling at him.
"ugh, i thought i would win today!"
you, in defeat, dramatically leaned back into the chair to render yourself defenseless, next, cradling his cheek to kiss him tenderly, "sorry."
his animated smile turned your heart ablaze, he was so outlandishly handsome even though he had just woken up half an hour ago.
ayato returned your kiss at the same time, liquifying your touch into his own when he drew himself back, a little, with you still being capable to taste his lips.
"now." he pauses for a brief instance, just a bit, before feebly nudging your nose, "say it back."
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— alhaitham
alhaitham had told you, consistently, to be more mindful about your surrounding, urging you to take of yourself, most importantly your overall health.
and at any time you would assure him that you will listen, yet only shrugging his solicitousness off as nothing more than a small scale characteristic of his 'protective boyfriend' nature which traits he would display occasionally.
yet there you were now, sadly— and much to your dismay, vastly nauseous from coughing your literal heart out and attempting to get rid of the gnawing burn in your throat, your stomach churning after every inch of your muscles pulsing.
obviously for alhaitham personally, it was quite funny in the beginning, after all he had told you numerously to look after yourself, that there was a serious flu going around in Sumeru City.
so .. for you to not listen to his advice after all? let's say he wasn't surprised.
"how's my patient doing?" you can hear your boyfriend sing from across the room as you narrowed your eyes upon noticing that damned grin induced on his face, especially at the amusing little ring surrounding the color of his voice.
"what do you want?"
you're speaking lowly, a little raspy while fighting the soreness in your throat, "did you get my medicine?"
you weren't sure if alhaitham purposely took his time to get your treatment or if it was you, in fact, who didn't have any patience left in your frail body.
"of course i did." he's forcefully rolling his eyes, acting all dramatically while childishly swaying the package in his hand.
"what would *you* possibly do without me?"
folding your arms over your body, you intently stared at him now, as if the sole reason he got up in the morning was to get the best of you, mess with you or maybe punish you for not listening sooner.
alhaitham dropped himself onto the bed where you were currently residing in, comfortably nuzzled up in your blanket when you noticed the apparent shift of weight on the mattress.
you're reaching your hand out for the medicine, an invitation clearly made in vein, "can i?" the chill in the air cuts through the haze and pain in your throat, bringing your boiling blood singing on the surface of your cheeks.
as alhaitham made no effort to actually hand it to you, you were on the brink of snapping, attempting to grab it yourself yet he quickly pulled it back. "now, now." he speaks, amused.
"what do we say beforehand?"
"you're joking." your words are short, clumsy and there was something utterly repellent about the hilarity in alhaitham's tone and mannerism, "i'm not."
you're huffing out an exhausted sigh, reflecting the situation in your mind as to how you could pay him back for this behavior, clearly you were aware of how your boyfriend tends to act, how he could be quite a smart ass to you, but mostly to everyone around him.
instantaneously alhaitham breathlessly laughed as he noticed you zoned out, carefully planting the medicine in your palm, "yes, i was joking." his hand drew itself to your cheek to playfully nudge the flesh when he continued his sentence to you, "you're lucky i love you."
"whatever." you spoke and abruptly closed your hand to plump back into the velvety cushions of your shared bed, fully averting his gaze.
"you can go now."
there is a pause before he said anything, your face was hidden in the pillow when he watched over your shoulder.
"so .. you won't say it back or?"
"nope." you were quick to shush him, "really?"
"yes."
"are you sure?"
"yes."
it was an instinct when he suddenly let out a laugh, but an inaudible one, the sound not echoing through the room when it unexpectedly went back to silence.
okay, well, maybe he was a bit harsh today, he figured, you were sick after all so your reaction was valid.
alhaitham carefully sank himself further into the bed so you could perceive his warm body flushed against yours, his broad arm lazily falling over your waist, "okay, okay, i got the message."
whispering in defeat, you suppressed a giggle, cradling your head so you could look at him, "what do we say beforehand?"
the mock in your voice was evident and he did not mind, replying with a chaste kiss on your forehead, "i'm sorry."
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— cyno
when it came to something as crucial as playing tcg with your boyfriend cyno, he always urged you to never hold back, to ruthlessly crush him with your cards.
most of the times your boyfriend would get quite competitive as well and you, in all honesty, did not mind. It was cute, really, how his face would slightly scrunch up whenever you were able to land a pivotal hit on one of his cards.
but what was a game .. without some additional fun tucked into it?
especially since cyno was overall a protective boyfriend, you'd love to tickle a new reaction out of him that you never experienced beforehand.
"it seems your cards aren't working well together."
he speaks volumes, two little dimples appearing on either side of his mouth as he chewed on the insides of his cheeks, concentrating and figuring out his next move to take.
"you're always so cruel to me, cyno."
you suddenly blurted out, adding a little mewl.
at this, his eyes abruptly widen in irritation, it wasn't particularly the sentence itself that made him struggle to comprehend what you just said, but the way you had phrased it.
"what?" he says at last, slowly tugging his cards to his body, "you never let me win!"
the contents of his mind have been pinned to your face, eagerly, attempting to decipher what the hell was going on right now.
"and i thought you love me, hm, whatever."
you quickly had to hide your face from him, biting back an evil laugh that was just about to spill when he laid his cards down the table.
"wait." he's panicking and for a moment, you felt bad for even playing this little trick on him, or, messing with his emotions, "of course i love you."
your fingers were playing with the hem of your shirt when you acted reluctant to answer.
"oh, that's awkward now."
your mouth split into a half grin, unable to prevent yourself from keeping up your devilish scheme but archons, cyno's face was priceless, he was absolutely bewildered, as if your words alone gave him serious whiplash.
"speak clear to me now."
his words dried in his throat, agonizingly slow, looking just as horrifying as if he was in the midst of working his occupation as a matra, fighting to the brink of utter death.
"when did you plan to tell me that you didn't harbor the same feelings for me after all?"
cyno couldn't feel his heart anymore, yet it was thrumming expressively under his ribcage. 
you breathe in and hold it, nostrils flaring, before you bursted out in a long laugh in front of him, hiding your mouth with the palm of your hand.
"i was just messing with you!"
needless to say, cyno, didn't find it hilarious at all, clicking his tongue while aiming to get up from his seat when you were quick to jump out of your own, dipping him back into the cushions.
"i'm sorry!" you nervously hugged him, tightly wrapping your arms around his neck, "don't be mad."
if only you weren't so sweet or the love of his life then maybe, he could've stayed mad, or at least lectured you about your wrong doings.
but cyno, did not speak at all, rather did he draw himself into you before leaning in to meet your eyes, propping his chin on your shoulder.
"you're a menace." he exhales with a shuddery laugh, shaking his head in disbelieve and rubbing his eyes awake.
the look of deep concern was still vividly noticeable when he danced his hand over your back soothingly, "now's the time." he suddenly words to you, imploring the obvious with his lips barely moving an inch.
"the time for what?" you were confused, lightly pinching his cheek.
"to say it back." he gazes up, his eyes softening like liquid fire, "you forgot to say it back."
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©2023 anantaru do not share, copy, translate any of my work
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nanaloveswo-men · 4 months
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pairing: nanami x reader (sfw) summary: you and nanami take a few days off work. oh! yuuji is there too! wc: 2.3k
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the wind hitting your face was great, even though your hair was getting a little messy. the music playing on the radio was slightly different from what you used to listen, but it was also good. somehow, you even caught yourself humming along the music.
you looked at kento, his usually tense shoulders, now a bit more relaxed. some strands of his blond hair rocking according to the breeze. his dark sunglasses falling a bit on the bridge of his pretty nose. he looked really good while driving.
you almost forgot where you were.
"can we make a quick stop, please? i need to go to the bathroom" itadori shyly asked, raising his hand like he always did in classroom.
kento sighed, looking at the boy through the car mirror "didn't i told you to go back there at the jujutsu school?"
just two hours had passed since you three had left the jujutsu grounds, nanami didn't plan to make any stop at all. he was aching to get to your destination.
"yeah, but i didn't want to go back there" itadori pouted, and you giggled "i can't control" he tried to reson with your husband.
"a little stop won't hurt anyone, i guess. let's strach our legs a bit, kento" you were quick to get on yuji's side.
nanami glanced at you for a moment before changing the route.
"thanks nanamin!" itadori said happily "thank you mrs. nanami!" he quickly added.
you send him a smile before whispering a soft 'thanks' to your husband.
you weren't planning to take yuji to your little vacation, but things just happened before you could control them.
after a day full of work at the jujutsu school, you just wanted to go home back to your husband, but where you were leaving your office, you had encountered itadori quietly sitting on a banch. and you couldn't ignore the ache in your heart seeing him all alone.
against your desire to see kento, you went to know what had happened to the boy.
"hey yuji!" you greeted sitting in the space near him. just seeing someone else already made his eyes fill with happiness. "what are you doing here?" you asked smiling.
"hello mrs. nanami!" the sparkle in his eyes faded a bit thinking about your question "everyone is on mission, and i didn't want to go the dorms, so i decided to come here".
the realization made you sad. besides his friends, he had no one else to be with.
against your better judgment, you invited yuji to have dinner with you and kento. well, you were sure nanami wouldn't mind having one more person at your house. at least you expected that.
"really?" he asked surprised. "i don't want to bother" he looked down playing with the sleeve of his sweater.
your smile only got bigger "nah, don't worry, i'm sure kento will be pleased with your company" you reassured.
that night you, nanami and, yuji had a really enjoyable dinner together, the time wich was usually filled with a low talk, was actually full of laughs, itadori stories, and a grumpy kento trying to act composed in front of his student (he was still a bit mad that you didn't warn him about your guest. he could have made something nicer!).
"we can't leave him all alone, love!" you tried to reson with your husband, but he looked unreasable.
on the other night, yuji let slip from his lips that he was going to be alone the following week, because everyone had missions to go and he was the only one who couldn't go.
right on the next morning you were trying to convince kento to bring his student on your little vacation. you just couldn't bear the idea of leaving the happy yuji at that empty and sad school.
'what if someone from kyoto tries to attack him?' you were playing with all your carts, but kento wasn't having it.
"let me see if i got it, my love. you really want to bring one student from the school you teach at, to the vacation you're taking because you wanted to be away from school business?" he said trying to get you to your right nerves.
but you weren't having it either. "yes, this is what i want, please kento" you claped your hands in front of your face "he's a good boy and i know you like him too. it will be fun!"
nanami sighned. he would regret his decision. "alright, if this is what you want, love."
well, this explained your currently situation. even though kento wasn't a hundred percent sure about this, you knew that he was happy. deep down, he liked yuji just as much as you did. maybe more.
"itadori, while you go to the bathroom, we'll be at the convenience store" nanami parked the car in front of some ramdom store "do you want something from there?" he asked, but the boy was desperate to go to the bathroom, so he quickly dismissed his tutor before running out of the car.
"we better grab a snack for him" nanami agreed with you.
already at the convenience store, you were looking around searching for something yuuji would like to eat, é hile kento was grabing something for him too.
"you know that for him anything you get will be good right?" kento said behind your back, scaring you in the process.
"but i want him to eat because he likes, not because 'anything will be good' you mimicked your husband's, trying to get on his nerves.
kento sighed at your behavior, giving you a quick pinch on the tight "i don't talk like that" he defended himself.
"of course you don't, husband" you weren't paying attention to him anymore, only focusing on guessing which of the snacks yuji would like the most.
after a couple of minutes you finally picked one. or more than one, just in case. now you were judging kento's choice of snack. really, he made the same choice a lady in her 50's would make.
"i'm ready!" yuuji appeared from nowhere.
"itadori, get something for you to drink and go to the checkout" nanami said leaving you two behind, tired of your judgmental stare at his bred. couldn't a man only eat his bred in peace?
you patted yuji's shoulder before running after kento. even though he was in a grumpy mood, he slowed down so you could catch him up.
smiling at him, you said "you're such a father material" your comment made him stop, looking at you with a confused face "you act all serious and composed, but you're just a softie."
"and you are a tease material" he whispered when you got closer to the cashier.
you were happy to just admire your husband paying the things and lightly scolding itadori when he took to long to choose his drink. but you were defintly not happy to watch the cashier shamelessly flirt with your husband.
even someone like itadori had notice the cashier trying to get kento's attention. if looks could kill, the woman would be dead by now. the same way she was staring your hasband's arms and hands, you were glaring at her, but you were trying to send her an warning.
"do you want anything more, wife?" nanami asked looking directly at you, and nothing made you happier than the cashier’s reaction. 'you should close your mouth dear' you thought eyeing the woman.
"thank you husband, i'm satisfied."
after some minutes, the three of you were back to the car, finally heading to the final destination.
you stared at nanami, admiring your man.
"her hair definitely needs hydration, maybe she should get some tips from you mrs. nanami" itadori knew how to get on your best side.
"you're right yuuji" kento agreed giving you a nod.
a new music started and you immediately recognized the song playing on the radio. a band you used to love when you were younger.
"damn, yuuji, can't believe you're into music like this!" you exclaimed turning your body to face the boy. a childsh smile spreading on your face.
itadori got surprised by your sudden reaction "yeah, i've been listening for the past few weeks" you could see in his eyes that he was getting as excited as you "do you like?"
"you have no ideia!" the car now was full of your giggles "when i was your age, i was a freak for this band!" you remembered you old days as a student at the jujustsu school. "do you remember kento? you hated their music cause' it was the only thing i used to listen to."
nanami smiled. of course he remembered. he was so jeaulous of that band because they had all your attention. he never said that out loud though, he just pretended to be sick of their music.
"of course i do love. even though i don't think their songs are that great."
you and itadori frowed at your husband statement. "what do you used to listen to, nanamin?" kento went silent, but you started to laugh.
"oh, yuuji, your dear nanamin was into something different, something more emo" your laugh only got louder at itadori and kento reaction.
"what do you mean?" the boy asked curious.
"this isn't necessary love" your husband tried to restrain you. now, he was regretting all the decisions his young self had made. just like he was regretting his decision to bring itadori to your vacation. maybe he didn't change that much like he used to brag so much.
you were already picking you phone to show yuuji some photos "nah, i think it is" you pick one of your favorites. the first picture of you and kento. you both were standing awkwardly close to each other, while gojo was in the middle, putting you two in a hug.
you were kind of weird too, your hair with a weird cut, and your clothes were definitely the wrong size, but nothing was more different than nanami and his emo phase.
handing the phone for itadori, you looked to your husband, catching the red in his face that he was trying his best to hide. but you were also looking for his permission to show the photo. he concieve in a quick nod.
"this is you nanamin?" yuuji were almost screaming in pure shock "what happened to your hair?"
kento tried to explain that the haircut was trendy ten years ago, but itadori was still in denial. you got the opportunity to show more pictures of your old days.
"gojo sensei looked like a leek" in the photo, satoru was standing with his arms glued to his body, you didn't remember the context in which the photo was taken, but gojo seemed akward.
one more time your giggles filled the car "yeah, he was really skinny and tall, and his hair was like, totally spike. i'm glad that we all changed" you said glancing between nanami and yuji.
after one hour, your little group finally hit the destination. your parents' beach house. it was a small house, but it was really close to a reserved beach. everything was so comfy, ir almost brought back some childhood memories of yours. perfect destination for you and kento. and now, for itadori too.
"let's get inside" you guided the two men inside. they did all the hard work to bring your things inside and settle up.
you made a house tour for itadori, making sure he was feeling welcome. the last spot was his bedroom. your own childhood bedroom.
"make it your home, yuji" you decided to let him alone to adjust his things, also, you needed some alone time with kento "we'll call when the dinner is ready"
itadori seemed like he had something to say, but you wouldn't press him to talk.
"i'm really grateful for everything you and nanami are doing for me, i don't know how to repay you" even tough he was talking, his eyes stayed glue to his feet on the floor.
your heart warmed. "just have fun, it's enough for us" you closed the door.
approaching your husband, he was already starting dinner. you could see cutting some vegetables when you walked down the aisle.
"is everything already my love?" kento asked hearing your footsteps "we have to go to the supermarket, but tonight i'm improvising with what we packed"
you didn't answer him, happy to just hug him from behind. "thanks. for bringing yuji." you hugged him harder.
with little effort he turned to face you. one of his hands on your waist while the other was firmly on your face, keeping your eyes on him.
"i like him too. he's a good boy and deserves to be a child" he was being sincere, spilling what was inside his heart. "and i love you even more because you are so good with him. i should be the one thanking you here"
you caressed the hand on your face, tears almost spilling from your eyes "you are such a good man, kento. i'm luck for marrying you."
you were so close to him. you wanted to kiss his glossy lips.
"let's continue dinner, itadori must be hungry" nanami said pulling away from you. now, a pout in your face, and a smirk on nanami's face. that bastard, he knew what he was doing.
"you know, if i didn't know better, i would ssy that you and yuji were actually son and father" you said from you stop in the small kitchen.
"you wish we were.”
yeah, you kind of wished that.
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eufezco · 1 month
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civil war!bucky x fem!reader ( angst , fluff ) no use of y/n
based on the captain america: civil war post credits scene
a / n : english is not my first language so yeah 😭 also my request are open for mavel characters (especially bucky and steve)
You had doubted whether to go or not.
You had been up almost all night, the dark circles under your eyes spoke for themselves. You tried to get some sleep but it was impossible. You moved nervously in bed from side to side. After not finding a comfortable position, you got up and started walking around your room in an attempt to calm your nerves but the four walls were suffocating you.
Steve found you throwing up in the bathroom, on your knees, and with tears in your eyes. He held your forehead so you could let it all out and then wiped your mouth. Steve gave you enough time to recompose and when you were done, he sat on the bathroom floor with his back against the wall and let you lean against his chest while you sobbed. You should let him sleep, it had been a long day for everyone, your bodies were still aching from the fight and Steve had enough to worry about. But despite all that, Steve's strong arms held you tightly close to his body, as if he was trying to hold back the part of you that he knew would leave with Bucky.
Steve took you in his arms and carried you to the couch where he placed your head on his lap, wrapped you in a blanket, and caressed your hair until you fell asleep. When you woke up, Steve wasn't home.
You had doubted whether to go or not but in the end, you went because if you didn't, you would never forgive yourself.
—Hi.
—Hey —. Bucky let out all the air he'd been holding in, relieved to see you.
When Steve arrived and you weren't coming with him, Bucky couldn't help but feel bad. He knew it could happen and he didn't blame you for it. You had already lost him twice, you weren't going to take one more, you didn't deserve to go through that again. The idea of being away from you again did not appeal to him either.
Steve, on the other hand, wasn't surprised to see you. Last night you let it all out in the toilet and on his shirt, and you got some sleep, so he figured you would have regained your strength. Or at least you would pretend that you had, the thing was, that he knew you were coming. —I'll go and talk to King T'Challa —. He said and walked out, leaving you and Bucky alone.
You slowly approached the gurney where Bucky was sitting. The metal arm was gone and only the part attached to his shoulder remained. His wounds were treated and on his face, you could finally see a peaceful expression. His brows were not furrowed, his jaw was not clenched, instead he was showing you a sad little smile.
—How are you—? How are you doing?
—I'm good. I'm ready. How are you? —He asked back.
—I'm fine I guess.
After your answer there was silence.
Bucky knew you were lying because of your tone of voice. He was aware of your disagreement with his decision. Steve also had asked him many times if that was what he wanted but this was not about what he wanted or not. Now that he had reclaimed his ability to choose, he had to use it to do what was right, and what was right was to go back to sleep until there existed a way to free him completely from the Winter Soldier program.
—Buck, you know you don't have to do this.
He shook his head at your words. Of course you wouldn't stop trying.
—I can't trust my own mind. —You were going to complain again but he talked before you could. —And as much as I would like to make up for all the time we've lost, I have to do this. Until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head I think going back under is the best thing. For everybody.
Now it was you shaking your head. For everybody but you. After all these years you had finally gotten him back, after thinking he was dead, after fighting your friends defending his innocence, you were going to lose him again.
Without saying a word you placed your hand on top of the one he had resting on his leg. The sad smile appeared on his lips again and he looked down at your hands. The touch of your fingers on his skin felt nothing like the human contact he had been experiencing these past few years. Your touch was gentle, your fingers rested on his hand delicately, as if you were afraid of breaking him. It was the first time in a while that anyone had cared about that. Bucky flipped his hand over to link your fingers together.
Using your free hand you lifted his chin and you not only made him look at you but also made his lips at the perfect height for you to kiss them. You pressed your lips against his, he squeezed your hand. Yours moved from his chin to rest on the side of his jaw, your thumb caressing his cheek. You didn't know how or when you started crying but you felt the hot tears slide down your cheeks until they mixed with the kiss. Bucky felt the salty taste and after a few seconds, he broke away from your lips. He rested his forehead against yours and let your hand go to cup your cheek and wipe your tears.
—You are making this very hard —. He mumbled against your mouth.
You kissed him again because it was either that or trying to convince him one last time not to do it. Bucky's hand cupped your cheek, god, if only he had his two arms and could touch you and feel you the way he wanted. Bucky's lips gladly kissed you back one more time, until you both heard Steve fake coughing behind you.
You parted ways, already missing the feeling of his lips and hand on you. Steve came with two nurses and you knew that it was time. You felt your legs weakening but you could not break down in front of Bucky so you hugged yourself and hid yourself in Steve's chest. Your friend wrapped one of his arms around your body.
—She'll be fine. I'll take care of that.
Bucky pressed his lips together and nodded, thanking Steve.
—I'll wait for you —. You said and Bucky flashed you one last smile. He hadn't asked you to because he didn't want to be selfish but he was waiting for you to tell him so. Hearing you say that you’ll wait for him gave him the peace of mind he needed to breathe in the cold gas filling the cryostasis chamber.
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h2llish · 3 months
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【╰ヾ❝ COULD'VE BEEN ✧„
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VIL SCHOENHEIT ── when it could've been ☆ angst, heartbreak, requited feelings, gender neutral, lowercase intended, not proofread
inspired by my fic from me to you
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he remembered the moment you came to him, with a smile so sad and ready to be rejected as you gave him a envelope with your handwriting at the top, for vil. with it, a rose wrapped safely in ribbon. by the look on your face and the shyness in your tone as you gave it to him, he could guess what was in the letter tucked inside the envelope must've been important, at least to you. you didn't bother to wait for him to open and read it, you didn't seem to want a response if he did, only apologizing and thanking him before turning away.
rook was with him, with a knowing look that looked a little sad in similar to your smile. he questioned it, but rook brushed him off in rook fashion, telling him it wasn't his place to speak on your behalf. what did he know that vil didn't? the actor wondered silently but trusted his friend despite his question and worry for you.
so vil tucked the letter away and waited till he was alone in his room. as the day ended and he finished his night routine, he sat comfortably on his bed and grabbed the letter.
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dear vil,
i've written this letter six times now, and i know that if i continue to read over this, i'll never gather the courage to give it to you. so please excuse how messy it is, and the mistakes you may possibly find.
by the time you get this, i'll be ready to leave for my world. ortho found me a way home, and i wish to return there, even though i'll miss a lot of people here. i'll miss you the most. i'm sorry you had to find out through a letter, a lot of my friends remained unaware, but when you get this, they'll all know just like you.
perhaps you've caught on, but rook was one of the few who knew, he also knew you were going to receive this letter. but, if you are upset at all, please don't be upset with him. i asked him to keep things to himself, he wasn't even meant to know. he was just respecting my wishes.
to the reason of my letter, this is where it might get messy, i hope you understand.
vil, i think you're wonderful, amazing even. while i know how we started off may not have been the most eventful or greatest, you've been respectful. even after you overblot, and forgive me for bringing it up, you've been nothing but kind to me and i thank you. when you offered your own money to ramshackle and then helped rebuild it when it was damaged, i was incredibly grateful.
you work hard, and you care about your dorm. not everyone may see it, but i do vil. you've done your research, have gotten to know everything about your dormmates, and made diets and routines just for them. it shows you really care.
we've gotten close. i care about you, and i think you care about me. we're friends.
but i'll be honest with you, my feelings for you have become more. i'm falling in love with you. i understand if you don't feel the same, i'd feel better if you don't, knowing my feelings were unrequited so i can leave with the guilt of only leaving my friends.
i'll probably be gone by now, and if not, i ask that you don't approach me. i wouldn't be able to keep myself together if you do. i want to go home, nothing will stop me from doing that. i'm sorry we can't have a proper goodbye, but for my own reasons, selfish i understand, i can't face you so this will have to do.
goodbye vil. and thank you for being my friend.
perhaps things could've been different.
sincerely, your friend, [name].
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romantic feelings were new for the actor, you were the first person he'd felt anything for. he loved you; he realized as he sat there, hair pulled back neatly and mask on his face. he pinched the end of the letter in his feelings, relaxing when he worried he would tear it.
he respected your wishes in the letter, remaining in his room as he read over the words once more. although it was heavy on his shoulders, he knew even if he had left to confess his requited feelings, your decision would have never changed.
perhaps things could've been different, but you'd always choose your home, and he could not blame you.
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patting myself on the back for managing to write something even if it's short. my headaches chilled out again and i took advantage.
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do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai
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fuxuannie · 11 months
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hsr men and their love languages.
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╭₊˚ ๑︰hsr men & their love language
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:★: relationship : various hsr men x g-neutral reader
:★: warnings : none! fluff
:★: a/n : SO CUTE i love getting reqs like this!! lets me write super quick and simple stuff yipeeee >.< school starts soon .. uh ohhh
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DAN HENG's love language is simple, quality time. Whether it's quietly reading books together, leaning on his shoulder to rest or small little dates here and there.. he's just happy to be with you. It gives him a sense of comfort and when you're gone it's like he's longing to go home. You make him feel like he has a place in this galaxy, like he's home.
JING YUAN tends to be stressed here and there, with so much to handle as a General - who wouldn't start cracking under the pressure every now and then? So he really appreciates whenever you do small acts of service for him. Giving him a head massage, getting him tea and doing all the little things you know he needs. It warms his heart that you rememeber and take note of these things to take care of him.
It was surprising to you that BLADE enjoyed physical touch. Maybe he was so used to loneliness, being immortal isn't exactly easy, but you made it feel like he was human. He doesn't know how to put it into words, but you make him want to live just to be with you. Having you in his arms gives him a purpose he didn't know he could have.
Words of affirmation was definitely GEPARD's strong suit if anyone had to guess. On days where you feel sad or insecure, Gepard has always been there to tell you all the things you need to hear. Whatever you've been feeling for the past couple of days, a small talk with him won't fix it - but it would at the very least help. You know he's an honest man, a very kind one at heart. He'd never tell you what wasn't true, and everything he affirms about you is nothing less but how he truly sees you.
CAELUS isn't saying he's rich, but the extravegant gifts you find at your door every single day without fail speaks alot of volumes, and that his love language is gift giving. It is not always the case that people love to buy gifts are shallow or only have their materialistic gifts to prove their love.. Caelus just loves to spoil you. He'll take you out on many dates, spend hours of time with you and show you that he cares but it's clear he loves to spend for you. Any little trinket that reminds you of him? He gets it for you immediately. You could definitely fill a whole shelf of things that he's bought for you.
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the-little-ewok · 8 months
Note
From the kissing prompts: “we didn't kiss each other good morning." with Poe please and thank you 🥺🥹
Pièce de rèsistance
Poe Dameron x G!N Reader
Rating : M
Wordcount : 2300 (ish)
Warnings : Cutesy cute fluff, body painting (kinda I guess 😂), lil bit of innuendo, kinda semi public make out, brief illusion/discussion on public sex (doesn't happen), rated M purely just for a lil sexual content.
Summary : You always kiss Poe good morning, but on the day you don't, he's going to make you pay the debt with interest.
A/N: yes I know X-Wing paint probably isn't safe to be on your skin. No I don't care. Let me live fanfiction how I like 😂
@dailyreverie - I hope you enjoy this silly little story!
Un-beta'd so sorry for the mistakes
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—-------
You squeak in shock, dropping your paintbrush to the ground as a pair of arms suddenly slip around your waist, relaxing when you hear a familiar chuckle from behind you.
"Good morning," Poe mumbles, burying his face in your neck as he cuddles you tightly against his chest.
"Good afternoon," you tease with a giggle, hugging his arms briefly, before you loosen his grip enough to turn and face him. His hair is still a ruffled mess, and there's stubble on his chin that tells he's thrown on some clothes and come straight to you from bed. Your heart flutters a little at the sweetness.
"You know you don't have to do this?" He gestures to his X-Wing that you'd been repainting for the morning, using whatever leftover paints you could find. After the latest battle the paintwork had taken some heavy damage, and since Poe didn't have time to do it himself, you had offered to fix it up for him, if only to stop his sad grimace everytime he looked at the ship. You were sure of two things in life, that Poe loved you, and that he might just love his ship a little more.
"I know but I'm enjoying it. It's kinda therapeutic," you shrug. "How's your day been? Well the bit you've been awake for," you tease with a grin.
Poe sighs, "not a great start to be honest. I woke up in an empty bed and realised we didn't kiss each other good morning."
He does a fairly good job of trying to look unhappy, which you are sure he probably is, at least a little bit, but there's a tiny twitch at the corner of his lips that tells you he's teasing.
"I seem to remember that's because you were still asleep. I think there's a word for people that do things when you're asleep," you wink at him and Poe gives a soft laugh, shaking his head.
"You should have woken me up," he complains with a pout. "I wouldn't have minded."
You snort with laughter.
"Now we both know that's not true! Have you ever met you when someone wakes you up? Maker, I'd rather face down the First Order alone."
"What are you talking about? I'm sure I'm absolutely delightful," Poe grins at you, clearly knowing full well he is not in any way delightful when his sleep is interrupted. Thankfully waking him wasn't something you had needed to do very often.
Whether it was for missions, strategy ideas he needed to note down, or more recently nightmares he couldn't stop, Poe was usually awake before you, no matter how early you woke up. Morning kisses had become somewhat of a routine, and if you were honest, you had missed that this morning. But Poe needed the sleep and so when you awoke to the pilot still dozing beside you, you had decided to allow him the rest. In fact, you had taken things a little further to make sure he would stay asleep for as long as he needed.
Poe had been working long into the night training new recruits, fixing resistance ships, trying to get them into some semblance of fighting condition again, and generally running himself into the ground. Almost every night for a week he had barely collapsed into bed before he was up again and back to it. The circles under his eyes had become worryingly dark, and no matter how many times you begged him to slow down and take a break, he insisted he couldn't.
So while the pilot was sleeping you had crept out of bed, and taken matters into your own hands to ensure he got a decent amount of sleep, at least for today.
Watching Poe fish out his watch from his pocket, the one he always puts on the nightstand when he comes to bed with his alarm set, you bite your lip nervously.
"I would have been awake but somehow I seem to have lost the battery from this. No idea how considering it would have had to come unscrewed, be removed and screw the back in again. Pretty impressive technology to do all that by itself without me noticing, don't you think?" He muses, holding it up between you.
"Poe," you start, ready to apologise and explain.
"I do feel better though now. I guess I really needed the extra couple of hours," he interupts with a soft smile. The worry dissipates just as quickly as it had coiled in your belly.
"You aren't mad?"
"Why would I be mad?" He gives you a purely boyish grin, raising an eyebrow. "Wait… you don't...you don't happen to know anything about this do you?"
You shake your head, "Nope. Absolutely nothing. Haven't touched it, haven't even seen it. When did you even get that? I've no idea what it is," you giggle, playing along.
Poe hums thoughtfully, regarding you with playful suspicion before he slides the temporarily useless watch back into his pocket.
"Well, if you do happen to see the battery anywhere, I would like it back, eventually."
You nod in confirmation, said battery suddenly feeling like it was burning a hole in your pocket. "Duly noted. I'll keep my eyes open,"
"Good," Poe nods, knowing he will find his watch magically fixed and back on the nightstand by tomorrow morning. "Now, I do need to address this kiss issue. You now owe me a kiss good morning, a kiss to say thank you for coming all the way across here to get the good morning kiss, a kiss to make up for missing the first kiss, and," he pauses, looking at his wrist to check his watch, before he remembers he isn't wearing it anymore. "I'm sure by the time we are done with those you'll owe me your afternoon missed you kiss."
"That's a lot of kisses all in one go." You sigh dramatically, giving him a serious look. "Do you think you can handle that all at once? I wouldn't want to overwhelm you."
Poe gives you a look of warning, one that tells you he'll be bringing that back up later, if only to prove how easily he can overwhelm you.
Taking your hand he all but drags you around the back of the X-Wing, where the noise of people coming and going seems more muted. It's nowhere near private, but it's about as private as you can get with the limited amount of time you have together.
"Up you go," he instructs, gesturing to the crates you had stacked into steps in order to reach the higher parts of the ship on this side. You blink at him in confusion, unsure if you've heard him correctly above the noise, but he simply gestures again for you to go up. Curiously you do as he asks, wondering what he's up to now.
Poe carefully follows until you reach the top. It isn't high but you notice Poe keeps one hand on your hip, just in case you do wobble.
When you reach the top he spins you to face him, before backing you up and pressing your back against the X-wing, pinning your body to the metal with his. Maker it sends heat flashing across your skin to have him so close. You realise this is why he wanted you up here, out of the way, unable to escape making the payment he demands.
"Kisses. Now."
"You're so cute when you're impatient," you giggle. Moving your hand to hold the side of his neck you pull his lips to yours, unable to wait any longer yourself.
You take your time with the kiss, kissing his top and bottom lip before you fully kiss him, your other hand slotting your fingers into the belt loops of his pants, holding him close. Poe pouts when you pull away before he's anywhere near enough of you.
"Good morning," you grin.
Before he has a chance to reply you press your lips to his a second time. This time you kiss him a little longer, but only long enough for him to run his tongue along your lower lip, seeking to deepen the kiss. You pull away with a devilish grin, ignoring his unimpressed look.
"I'm sorry you had to walk 60 yards to get your good morning kiss. Must be a terrible time for you with all those long steps across the yard," you tease sarcastically.
"Less talking, more paying kisses," Poe grumbles, his cheeks already flushed, his fingers digging into your hips as he grips you tightly. Along with Poe's long hours came the fact that you didn't have much awake time to spend together, and clearly it was starting to become a struggle for you both.
With a grin you drag his mouth back to yours, the kiss escalating faster this time, Poe's body pressing tighter against you. You kiss him hard this time, allowing your tongue to dip into his mouth, pulling a soft groan from the pilot who's turned to putty in your hands. You tangle your fingers in his curls and tug gently, causing him to nip your bottom lip in shock. He gets his revenge by slotting his thigh between your legs, making you gasp.
"Poe, people might see," you whimper against his mouth, desperately fighting back the urge to grind down against his leg.
"Let them see the consequences of missed kisses," he shrugs, staying exactly where he is. "Sooner you pay what's owed the sooner I might let you go."
You bite your lip, picking up on the might in his words. "What if I like being right here?"
Poe lets out a groan, pressing you harder against the ship. You're both breathing a little heavier now, your heart beating wildly in your chest.
"Don't tempt me. The extra hours sleep have given me a lot of energy," he whispers in your ear.
Oh well now you want nothing more than to tempt him, to drag his mouth to yours and let him devour you. But you know deep down now isn't the time, or the place.
Still, you can't quite quell the lustful thoughts that fill your mind.
"I owe you one more kiss," you offer temptingly.
"Trust me, I want to kiss you again so bad but if I do, I think the resistance is going to see a lot more of you than you want them to," Poe laughs softly, running his nose up the column of your neck as he holds you close. "Perhaps we need to keep a log and you can pay later?"
While you nod in agreement you still can't help stealing a quick kiss from him. It's nothing more than a fleeting brush of your lips against his, but Poe's smile lights up his face at the gesture. Both of you have missed the time to be close like this, to have the energy for this playfulness.
When he finally lets you step away from the ship, after another two quick kisses, he suddenly bursts out laughing. You frown, once more confused before he spins you around to see your own body print in the paint that has clearly not quite dried.
"Oh no!" You groan, reaching around to feel the wet paint on your back. Bringing your hand back around you see the black coating your fingers and let out a curse. "Shit. I'll have repaint it!"
"Leave it there," Poe grins, "It's very artistic." He tilts his head, as though admiring it like a painting. "Yeah, I like it. Especially this bit," he gestures to the perfect imprint of your ass against the ship.
"It looks a mess now," you sigh sadly. Your intention had been to make the ship look better, not worse.
"Actually, I was just thinking we could come back tonight and do your front on the other side," Poe shrugs. You feel heat creeping up your neck at his suggestion.
"Poe, you are not flying around with my body imprints on your ship!"
"Yeah," he nods entirely ignoring you, "maybe we could do them in a different colour? I'm sure we have some more orange paint laying around. Could paint all my favourite parts." He wriggles his eyebrows at you and you try not to laugh.
"Absolutely not!"
Poe sighs, resigned that you aren't enamoured by the idea of the entire resistance seeing you plastered against his ship, before he grins in an all too familiar, worrying way.
"What about if it was somewhere only I would see? Like the cockpit? Little bit of paint on some, select areas," he squeezes your ass making you jump with a squeak. "We could put it on the pilot's seat. Consider it interest for failing to pay your kisses on time."
You turn to stare at him as he wipes the paint he's gotten on himself from touching you, on the side of his pants, trying to work out if he's serious. He can't really want you to leave an imprint of your ass in his ship. But when he meets your gaze he's deadly serious and you burst into laughter. It's absolutely absurd that of all the tokens you could give him to travel with, that's what he wants.
"Is that a yes?" Poe laughs. "It'll be fun. I'll make it fun," he promises, his tone dropping to imply exactly the kind of fun he means.
You really should be considering how little the cockpit is, how uncomfortable it might be to squeeze you both in, how impractical his suggestion is, but the amusement is so bright in his eyes it obliterates anything else. You don't want to crush his little fantasy just yet, so you laugh with a nod.
"Alright Flyboy, you got a deal. Now go fetch me the paint so I can fix this." You gesture to the smudged mess of your imprint.
"One second," Poe pauses, staring at it hard "just committing it to memory."
You roll your eyes at him.
"If I push you off, I could say it was an accident," you threaten. Poe laughs looking down at the floor before back at you. He launches himself the crates, easily jumping down, landing gracefully on his feet and grinning up at you. He takes a dramatic bow, one that shouldn't be as cute as it is.
"By the way," he shouts as he disappears around the ship to retrieve your paint can, "you owe me another kiss for fetching you this."
Maker, at this rate you'll never get the job done
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Thanks for reading! Please consider reblogging and leaving a comment if you enjoyed! Remember your interaction keeps writers writing!
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avelanlorelay · 1 month
Text
About Cardan and his mother
I was re-reading the comments on my fic Deniere Danse and most of them are against Lady Asha, which may be proof that she's just as hated by the fandom in the "parents" category as Madoc and Balekin (Or maybe it's bc of the plot I've created, sorry). So one unanimous question is: why does Cardan still allow her to stay in the brugh?
My pov: From Twk to Tpt we can see that Cardan is not as insensitive as he makes himself out to be, on the contrary, he has a lot of love to give (😭) (a side of him that probably only Nicasia had access to🙄). He's admitted to still liking his mother a little and if we look closely, that despite having a strong personality, Cardan is no longer a hateful person. After losing his entire family, he wouldn't throw out his mother, the second only person left of his blood, for bad things in the past. In Tpt we see how he's very happy with Jude and probably, thinks about the future instead of holding grudges about things from the past.
Okay, Cardan isn't the boy with the heart of stone, but why would he still like Lady Asha? Why didn't he lock her back up in the tower of oblivion like he did with Balekin? First of all it's obvious, she never committed any crime. But although the books say very little about their relationship (a shame because I've always been curious about it), I think there are some clues:
In the prologue to Tqn we see the discovery of Cardan's curse. It's said that Lady Asha doesn't seem to know how to hold a baby, but she hugs he when Eldred seems to be considering parting with the child and holds he tighter when she leaves. Perhaps she was just afraid of not having privileges, but it's the only gesture of affection we see from her.
Still in Tqn, Oriana tells Jude about Cardan's childhood:
"It wasn't as though she didn't dress him in velvets or furs; it's that she left them on until they grew ragged. Nor was it that she didn't feed him the most delectable cuts of meat and cake...."
Now, in Htkoelths, when he meets Aslog in the stables, despite being there because of her (bitch) Cardan thinks that if he called his mother she would beat Aslog up and throw her out. I found this passage strange bc Lady Asha is described as delicate and thin, yet Cardan knows that she would protect him from a much bigger and stronger woman. If he's so sure of this, has Lady Asha defended him before?
And finally, just a guess: when he travels to the mortal world in Tcp's time to save Balekin's mortal slave, Cardan travels on a giant moth owned by Lady Asha. It's said that the creature was personally tamed by her and he still remembers how, so he was probably there when it happened. Which means that perhaps Lady didn't leave him completely abandoned, there were moments that the two of them spent together, when she dressed him, fed him and perhaps took him for walks and played with him.
What does my monologue mean? That if we compare, Cardan seems to have more feelings for Lady Asha than for Eldred, because despite so many bad ones, he has good memories with her too. It's not just a blood bond.
It's sad and unfair, but Cardan has a much more forgiving heart than it seems.
There's probably something else too: guilt. If I'm not mistaken, in Twk's deleted scenes, when Lady Asha meets him to talk about Jude, it's said that Cardan didn't free her because he didn't think he had the power to, after all, Jude was the real High King.
Now, if we stop to think about it, Lady Asha had never committed a crime, (if we don't consider her to be the worst mother in the world), yet she probably spent about ten years trapped in the tower of oblivion, starving and cold, completely alone. Not even Balekin or Madoc suffered so much. Can we feel sorry for her for that? Idk, if you're a good person and can even like Madoc, that's fine, but I think it's well deserved. But not from Cardan's point of view, not least bc from his perspective it was his fault. Now, as High King, the best thing he can do to be fair is to reward her for all that time of suffering. So it's understandable that he lets her live in the palace and have everything she ever wanted.
Jude pov: I think that since she would like her mother to be alive and by her side and Cardan has that opportunity (which I would frankly pass up), she would never take it away from him, even for revenge. And like him, she's too happy to worry about the past and people who aren't worth it.
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d0g0r0t · 8 months
Note
I have such a specific request for ticci Toby head cannon, as seen in the timeline 30 year old Toby got institutionalized.My question is what he doing????
Not necessarily how he got there but maybe his reaction to being separated from you for an extended period of time?
Thank you : DD
Currently kicking my feet up in the air thinking about this 
When Toby got institutionalized
OMG I L9VE THIS IDWJNAKDNR
Pt2
Pt3
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When he got caught he went fucking MENTAL on everyone and everything around him. Not because he got caught because he was being taken away from you
The moment he was in the facility he wouldn't talk to anyone, and when he did it would be lash outs screaming, kicking, punching, slapping, biting, anything to cause a scene and the most trouble
And when he did have these melt downs he would be locked in one of those rubber rooms so he wouldn't hurt himself or anyone else
After about a week you were all he thought about. During free time he would draw you and write little poems about you. And every time a person asked who you were he give them the most drop dead stare
The idea of you not by his side sent him into a deep depression. He would rot in his bed for hours and would only come out if he was physically dragged out. He would eat unless he we held down and food shoved down his throat.
Doctors tried getting a reason out of him but he wouldn't budge.
The only time he did talk about you was when he accidentally slipped and said your name in such a sad and weak manner
It was honestly sad to see
He missed you so so so much It actually pained him that he couldn't see you. He knew he had to get out some how but he didn't know what that some how was.
He would see you in his dreams and every time he woke he would sob quietly into his pillow
You were his only reason of actually trying anymore. And now that he was taken away from you he couldn't even function
He loved you with all his heart and not having you in the same room as him made him angry at the world
There was multiple reports of people catching him mumbling you name in his sleep or going into full on breaks as he stared at the wall for hours. They had to let him snapped out of it at his own time or else someone would get seriously hurt
GUESS WHO SILLY GUY WAS THINKG ABOUT?!??!
YOU!!!!!
___________________________________________
He was sentenced to 355 years in the mental facility.
He had a reputation there to say the least. Everyone feared him. People thought he was crazy with the whole slenderman thing and all the murders. It was a shocker to them he wasn't caught sooner
How I think he got caught was when he was cornered by a large group of cops and literally had no where to go. He knew if he swung he would be shot on the spot so with a lot of thinking he gave in
Once he snapped at this guy and killed him with a coloring pencil...
Loser
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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REQUEST I HOPE THIS IS OK AND UP TO YOUR STANDARDS!!!! HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!
Bro got thrown in the silly bin
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yumiis · 4 months
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i was wondering if you could do nick x reader with reader being in denial/oblivious to nick's flirting with them. like they take it as a joke every time bc they don't think someone would ever be in love with them/like them?
YESS i love this trope you've found my soft spot
。゚゚・。・゚゚。 ゚。 are you seeing anyone? ; nick
  ゚・。・゚
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genre; hurt/comfort, fluff
type; drabble
read below!
Nick wanted you to be his. Super badly. However, every time he made a move, you'd just laugh it off or ignore him completely. It really upset him, but he wouldn't give up on you that easily.
You'd always been the one asked out as a joke, flirted with as a joke, it was always 'ask out Y/n as a joke!'. It absolutely killed your self esteem. It also caused you to not ever dare to reciprocate feelings to anyone, because you knew it would always be too good to be true. Nick included. You figured it was some inside joke with all the guys.
Your phone repeatedly buzzed, Nick's contact appearing on the screen. You slid over to the answer button, "Hello?.." He smiled as you answered, "Y/n! I was worried I wouldn't get ahold of you. Do you wanna do something today? I'm free, the rest of the guys are out." You were floored. This had to be a joke. "Uhh.." You thought for a minute. What could the harm really be? "Sure. What'd you wanna go do?" He smiled widely to himself, finally! He'd get to be alone with you and show you that he really does care, and he's not flirting with you as some cruel joke.
"We could just go to the mall or like, a museum or something? Just to hang out. And uh, don't worry about money! That's on me." He spoke smoothly, no hesitation in his voice whatsoever. You took a deep breath, not knowing what to expect. "O.. Okay. Gotcha. I'll be ready soon then? I can drive over and meet you at the house." He shook his head, "Nah, I'll drive over to you. Be there in thirty!"
In almost exactly thirty minutes time, Nick was knocking on your door. You flattened your shirt, answering the door. "Hey!.." You softly smiled at Nick, noticing he wasn't wearing anything too fancy. "Hey! You look nice. Nicer than me at least, heh." You chuckled a little, "Yeah, heheh.." You were trying your hardest to accept that maybe this wasn't a joke, but it was hard. "Well, you ready? I got all my shit in the car. The mall doesn't close 'til about 8, so we got time!" You nodded, "Ye— yeah!"
You guys spent about an hour or two at the mall, shopping around. Nick threw out some compliments and offered to buy you so much, but you had to decline almost every time. You just felt too guilty if you took that much money from him. He insisted on at least buying you lunch, to which you said was fine.
"So, Y/n," He started as he ate his chicken sandwich, "Are you seeing anyone?" Your face and body went cold, "Huh?" You were confused why he was asking you that. You knew it. This was all some ruse set up by the boys to make a fool out of you. "Like, are you going out with anyone?" You slowly shook your head, "Uhm, no, I uh.. I guess not." Nick looked a little sad, "You wouldn't consider this seeing eachother?" He nonchalantly asked you. You perked up. "I— Oh! Oh, uhm!.."
Nick tilted his head, "Or if you don't like me in that way and i'm taking this wrong that's fine! Just tell me that, because I know you kinda ignore or laugh off any time I make like.. any flirtatious comment.." He smiled sheepishly. You sighed, "No, it's not like that.. I, uh, I do like you like that. I was just like," You paused for a second, waving your hands around a little, "Bullied in school. So I was always the one that was asked out as a joke." He stared at you in awe. "I thought this was all some joke."
"This was never a joke," He placed his hand on top of yours, "Me liking you was never a joke. The guys were really all out today, they all actually really want me to start seeing you. They all really like you, dude." You smiled softly, looking back at Nick. "So? Are you seeing anyone?"
"... Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am."
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tonkatsubowl · 9 months
Text
coffee beans.
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blade x trailblazer!fem!reader sfw themes (some cursing ig). read at your own risk. english isn’t my first language, so please don’t mind the grammatical errors. (っ◞‸◟ c)
⪩ our beloved trailblazer and blade meet up at a cafe behind everyone's backs. a little secret date.
TERM DIRECTORY ◖y/n: your name ◖e/c: eye color ◖h/c: hair color
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one thing you always ask yourself on the daily is...
am i a bad person?
you were a pure person at heart, being a trailblazer and all. you were sent out to different worlds and universes under the command of himeko and welt to save them and to learn more about yourself. and never once had you done anything ill-intended. you probably did some trolling here and there, but you never once did anything that was truly evil...or anything that's remotely considered as evil. you ask yourself that because you are in a relationship with blade. the man that is the archrival to dan heng, and the enemy to the astral express.
how you got here was a different story; how you fell in love, how you and blade were able to establish a relationship somehow, yet you both were considered enemies. you always told yourself that it wouldn't work out because of his association and the team that you practically live and die for.
but, in a way, kafka was getting suspicious, or she knew of it, rather. knowing kafka, she did things that she believed were best for her own sake...and perhaps yours. maybe that is why she is never truly involved in trying to separate both you and blade, but you knew if the astral express team found out, you would most likely be...well, doubted. feared. and yet, blade tells you not to worry, and if they had touched you, he would kill them all.
the worst part about that is that he was serious. dead serious.
but you sigh, looking down to your favorite drink that you ordered in a cafe located in belobog. you and blade (mostly you) decided to meet up here in the cafe for a date. you told the astral express team that you wanted to take some time away for yourself and to just relax...and also, you had some personal duties to attend you. of course, they respected your privacy.
and now here you are, trying to stop yourself from overthinking about everything. you wanted to physically slap yourself in the face to just stop these thoughts. stop overthinking so much, y/n. everything will be fine.
"overthinking again, are you?"
a familiar voice snaps you out of your own inner prison, saving from the turmoil that you would suffer from at night. your eyes dart towards the direction of the voice, feeling your shoulders relax and your body easing itself when you see the love of your life. he walks over to you, placing a hand on top of your head, his fingers gently caressing through your scalp.
"ah-" you began, "i...i guess." you murmured, looking down to the drink that blade had ordered. a black coffee, you would assume. he wasn't much of a coffee drinker, and adored tea. but when it came to you, he would want to try something similar to what you drank...but nothing too sugary. but blade can read you like an open book. if you seemed stressed, tired, sad, angry...or anything, he can read you. and he would be there for you to the best of his abilities.
he raised a brow, looking down at the drink that was in between your hands. retracting his arm from your head, he sits across from you, looking a bit sour.
"you bought a drink? you need to stop doing that and at least wait for me to buy you one," he murmurs, a quiet sigh leaving his lips, "now i really know that you are overthinking, y/n."
you huff, "look, i don't want you to spend money on me."
"too bad."
well, you couldn't exactly fight against blade's wishes. if he wanted to spoil you, he will do so regardless or not you like it.
"what are you overthinking about anyway? same stuff?" he would say, taking a sip from his black coffee.
"well...yeah." you say, slumping back against your seat.
"i'm telling you. i don't give a damn if they find out. if they hurt you because of it, then it only gives me another reason to put their hands on a silver platter. do you understand that, flower?"
and he wasn't wrong. he would hurt them. he would maul them. even if you didn't want him to do it, he would do anything in his power to ensure your safety and to kill those who try to harm you. the man is extremely protective of you, after all. never once had he shown this side to anyone else but you. you were special...and you were his. a man's treasure, pride and joy should never be touched.
you were silent, looking down to the latte heart of a cat that was destroyed from you sipping at the mug. now it was just an awkward foam that is sitting on top of the surface, staring up at you in its own shame and disgust from ruining its art.
you hear a sigh from blade as he sips once again from his black coffee, eyeing at you carefully. "anywho, i saw your 'adorable' little wanted poster here in belobog. at the walls."
he changed the subject, and that's when you smiled a bit, laughing softly to yourself. yeah, when you, dan heng and march first got here...you were chased by the silvermane knights, causing you three to get a silly portrait of wanted posters. it was quite funny, and adorable.
and best of all, blade loved hearing you laugh. but he would never admit it.
"they gave you a big nose for no reason," he said, his lips tugging to a faint smirk, "and they messed your hair up. makes me wonder if my wanted portraits are drawn by little brats, too."
your smile widens a bit, "i don't think i've ever seen a wanted poster with your face on it, but i hope you're way uglier than me in those," you tease, "maybe i should draw one and slap it here too..." then you pause, realizing you should add, "ah, right...i think they forgot to take those down. they cancelled the bounty and everything on my head after i helped this world."
"they better." his tone stiffened, freezing itself, almost threateningly.
one thing you loved about blade is that he was very protective of you. a man capable of destroying worlds and universes on his own would make anyone feel safe if he decided to ally up with you. but it was a little scary at times. but you couldn't help but admire his strength and dedication to you, anyway.
"...u-um," you began, "do you... want to go on a walk? well, i mean it's...cold outside."
blade nodded his head, standing up. he crushed the empty plastic cup in his hand, tossing it into a nearby trash can. unfortunately, you had a glass mug, so you couldn't exactly just...toss it. instead, you would leave it on the table for the baristas in the cafe to pick up.
"cold, hot. doesn't matter to me."
as long as he's with you, it didn't matter.
hiding your smile, you got up, shyly inching your hand towards his. he looked at you with a mildly puzzled look, watching as your fingers playfully inch at his own. then, he would take your hand with a sigh, looking away as he began to lead you outside of the cafe.
being hit with a cold, wintry breeze was something you would never get used to. but it seems blade was already used to fighting under extreme weathers and temperatures. the man was a killing machine, after all. a machine that was adjusted to many environments, worlds, its laws and more. you would cling to his side, holding his arm for warmth. the scent of his herbal cologne, the warm that protruded from his limb...everything about him was just so perfect. you felt so safe. you felt so...at peace.
the two of you were walking in silence, basking in each other's presence. sometimes, you two didn't always need to talk but to just enjoy each other's companies. blade took you somewhere, anywhere in the city. you both watched as the snow began to fall, as it decorated your hair like little stars sprinkled throughout the night sky. you both would stop a little food trailers, being served hot and warm foods...and of course, blade would pay for all of it. he disliked you taking in charge of everything, after all. he would rather do everything for you.
night fell, and the man finally spoke, shattering the silence that you both shared amongst each other, "don't go home yet."
you blink, your eyes darting to him with confusion and surprise. his eyes soften as he looked towards you, admiring the snowfall as he observed the beauty that was laid before him.
"give them excuse. that you're too tired to leave. stay the night here. i'll buy an inn room."
you blink. what was with this sudden change of behavior? retrieving your phone from your pocket, you look at blade with wide, curious and surprised eyes. you weren't against it, so you sent a text to the groupchat that was shared between you, dan heng, march, himeko and welt.
➜ y/n: hey, i'm a little exhausted from running errands here... i think i'll stay here for the night and come back to the express. zzz
➜ march: huh?? damn, what have you been doing?
➜ y/n: enough for my legs to scream at me
➜ welt: i'm not surprised, considering every world we go, you're always running errands. feel free to rest for the night over there. let us know if you need anything.
➜ himeko: oh geez. learn to say no to these errands sometimes, okay? you need to have some time for yourself.
➜ dan heng: rest up, y/n.
to your relief, you gave a nod to blade, assuring him that you would stay the night here in belobog. but one thing that concerned you was...
"what about kafka and silver wolf? wouldn't you need-"
"don't worry about them. they already know not to disturb me for a bit."
you blinked, letting blade rest a hand on your shoulder as he gestured you to the direction of the inn building.
"come. let's get some rest."
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the rest of the night was peaceful and loving. the two of you shared each other's warmth in harmony, snuggling up in each other's arms holding each other close. you would talk away at blade's ear as he sat there in silence, listening to every word that left your lips. he listened to every story, every rant that left you, and everything that you just wanted to talk about towards blade.
the one thing you loved about blade was that you can talk his ear out about anything, and he would always listen to you in silence, and speak his thought if it was needed. never once would he show disinterest towards you. he loved hearing you talk about your day.
finally, letting out the bundle of emotions had tired you out, as well as the fun you had today with your significant other. his arms were wrapped around your waist as your were deep asleep against his chest, quietly listening to his heart beat as he protected you from everything in the universe. aeons, the supernatural...nothing would be bold enough to face a man who was capable of annihilating it all. nothing would separate you both, and best of all...
...blade wouldn't want to let go of you, ever.
as you remained deep asleep against his chest, blade's eyes were still awake, thinking about situations, future decisions and other things related to your... no, to your and blade's future. unbeknownst to you, he would most likely have to plan to get rid of the astral express team if it meant to have you as his...and his only.
your presence was everything to him.
and nothing else would matter.
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unexpected yandere tendency at the end oops ♡(>ᴗ•)
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glassartpeasants · 4 months
Text
Killer angst drabble cause why not
gn!reader
~~~
You knew how much Kid meant to him. It was obvious from the start of the relationship. Anywhere Kid went, Killer was right behind him. They were best friends since childhood so who were you to try and split them apart? But that didn't mean that it didn't hurt.
There's been countless times where Killer has ditched you for Kid. He wouldn't even notify you that he wouldn't show up, he'd just stand you up. You tried to explain to Killer that it hurt your feelings and if he could at least let you know that he wouldn't show up. It lead to a huge fight. Words were said, tears were shed and it ended up with you two breaking up for a week or two.
You tried to ignore the heartbreak cause you didn't want to make the crew uncomfortable. Hell you even talked to some people about leaving the Kid Pirates. After all, Killer was the reason you joined. So now that you two weren't a thing anymore, there was no reason to be on the Victoria Punk. The tension was too thick for you.
Yet the moment you had gotten ready to pack your bags, Killer approached you. He promised he'd do better and that you did mean something to him. You believed him the first two months but then he slowly started going back to how it was. Which left you to where you are now, watching the stars with your bag in you lap as you sit on the railing.
"The city lights look inviting doesn't it? It's a pretty city and island. Maybe I can stay here until a ship shows up to take me home." Your heart burned at the thought of never hearing Killer's voice again. Even if you didn't want to admit it, a small part of you had been ready to leave since the huge fight. Knowing you'd always be in second, third, and fourth place for Killer. You'd never be his first priority, no matter what happens.
"Not even a competition, and you still won Eustass Kid." Whispering to yourself, your aware of the tears slowly falling down your face. A sad little laugh leaves your lips as you wipe the tears away.
"Your crying." Jumping from the sudden noise, you snap you head around and see your soon to be ex.
"Yeah. I guess I am." A seconds silence fell over the two if you.
"What's wrong?"
"Just settling on my final decision." Even without seeing his face, you knew he was puzzled.
"Which is?" Taking a deep breath, you respond.
"That I'm breaking up with you." Killer’s body tensed at your words. The glassy look in your eyes had him realizing that this wasn't a joke or prank.
"I'm sorry Killer, I knew that Kid was super important to you when we got together and I thought I could handle you spending almost all your time with Kid. Unfortunately I've realized that I cant." Your lips tremble as you try to gently smile.
"I don't want you to lose a friendship you've had since childhood just cause of me." You feel the Victoria Punk start to move away from the island.
"S-Shit (Y/N) I'm sorry. I know I've been ditching you and that I promised that I stopped and you have every right to be mad-"
"I'm not mad. At least not anymore."
"But you should be! You should be mad! I made you a promise and I broke it after saying I'd change. Why aren't you yelling at me?! Why aren't you mad that I lied to you?!"
"Because I love you." Killer could feel his heart beating fast as the weight of his actions finally hit him. He tried to speak yet nothing came out.
"And that's why I have to go. Life is about living and learning. And we simply learned that we weren't meant to be. But that's okay, you'll finally someone who works out better for you." You start to put on your bag to get ready to jump off the ship and onto the dock the Victoria Punk was moving away from. Killer grabs your hand and pulls himself closer to you.
"I don't want someone else, I want you. You and only you. Give me another chance please (Y/N)." Facing Killer and his mask, you press a kiss to where his lips would be. Tears flow down your face knowing that's the last kiss you'd ever give him.
"I better see your name in the newspaper often." Slipping tour hand away from his quickly, you whisper one last thing before jumping on the very last edge of the dock.
"Goodbye Massacre Soilder Killer. I love you." You land on the dock and watch the Victoria Punk sail past the dock. And you watch with a heavy heart as Killer starts running to the end of the ship to catch you while screaming to stop the ship.
He looked at you and screamed your name as he sailed farther and farther away, watching you wave him goodbye with tears in your eyes.
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beanghostprincess · 3 months
Text
Sanji never celebrated his birthday when he was a kid, quite obviously. At least not in a regular way and not with his siblings. But he did visit his mom at the hospital, tried to make the best of cakes (because she always asked him to) and blew out the candles right in front of her wishing and wishing and wishing for her to get better. For them to have a happy ending. Sora always said that if he wished hard enough, it would come true.
It didn't. But Sanji knew, even at a young age, deep inside, that it wouldn't.
So he starts living with Zeff and his birthday is not something he sees worth celebrating. But the man asks him about it one day and the date March 2th is written all over his face when he tries to find an excuse to not tell him. And it's alright, he guesses, because at the end of the day Zeff isn't that big on birthdays either.
The kid has it rough on that day when it first comes, and Zeff doesn't know what to do. What to gift him. He doesn't know how kids his age behave and what they like. Especially since Sanji is not a regular kid. So for his 10th birthday, Zeff tells him he's going to teach him how to bake a proper cake. That makes Sanji extremely happy, somehow. He is not a normal kid, but he sure is a cook. So there isn't a party or eccentric gifts, but there is cake.
Zeff starts giving him proper gifts when he turns fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Ties and suits and shoes and every pretty thing his son has mentioned he liked ever since he saw a very rich businessman walking into the Baratie dressing like that with a woman hugging his side. "It's gentleman's attire! You wouldn't get it!" and look, if the kid wants his snob suits, Zeff won't complain. They have more than enough money for shit like that.
They have a real birthday party when he turns eighteen. And he's all grown and pissed about how he could've made the cake better in his own and acting like an ungrateful brat. But he smiles. Widely and brightly and Zeff couldn't love him more.
So it's not like Sanji hates his birthday... But he doesn't tell the crew about it. He gets sad and weird and in an on and off mode. He doesn't want them to make a big deal out of it and he knows they probably will. He won't stop thinking about his mom, either. So he avoids the crew a little bit too much on that day.
And Usopp notices he's acting weird, because how could he not? Sanji has been oddly quiet and polite to everyone in a gloomy, nostalgic way. Everybody is worried and Luffy tries to cheer him up, but it only ends up bothering Sanji more, from Usopp's perspective. The sniper tries not to be clingy because he knows his boyfriend and he knows that if he's in one of his sad moods, affection will only make him sadder. So he stays next to him, but not too close. Enough to see Sanji smile now and then.
The day goes on and it's time to go to bed, but Usopp notices Sanji is still in the kitchen and decides to change his night shift with Franky because he really, really needs to stay awake to look after him. He refuses to invade his privacy and space, so he just stays close to the kitchen in case he gets out.
But curiosity killed the cat, and he's also extremely concerned. So he decides to look inside.
He sees Sanji, sitting down at the dining table with a tiny, little cupcake and a candle. He's holding a picture Usopp knows well because Sanji keeps it in a tiny treasure chest inside his locker. His mom. And he smiles apologetically. "Sorry it couldn't be a real cake, mom. I wasn't that much in the mood? But hey! I- I improved, didn't I?" Usopp can't see his face that clearly, but he knows, from the tone of his voice, that he's probably about to cry. "I wish- I wish you were here. I'm twenty-two now! You said you liked that number, right? It does look like a duck, after all."
He keeps talking, but Usopp closes the door gently without Sanji noticing. Shit.
It might not be the best idea, but Usopp decides to leave him a little thing under the door. A note wishing him a happy birthday and some flowers. The note also has a drawing of two ducks in it.
The next day, the first thing Sanji tells him when he wakes up (Usopp noticing the flowers placed on a glass vase and the edge of his note sticking out of that same treasure chest from before) is: "Hey, love, would you- Would you like to try and bake a cake with me? It'd be fun."
And Usopp couldn't smile wider even if he tried.
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